^ 
 

 I 
 
 DUKE 
 
 UNIVERSITY 
 
 LIBRARY 
 
 Treasure "Room 
 
THE 
 
 ADVENTURES 
 
 OF 
 
 ®^®®Ta^w. 
 
 A ROMANCE. 
 
 "Methought I was — there is no man can tell what. Me- 
 thought I was, and methought I had, — But man is but a 
 patched fool, if he will offer to say what metliought I liad/* 
 Midsumvaer'J^ight's Dream. 
 
 PHILADELPHIA: 
 
 PUBLISHED BY G. M. & W. SNIDER. 
 
 1832. 
 
Entered according to the Act of Congress in the year 1832, 
 by G. M. &. W. Snideh, in the Clerk's office of tlie District 
 Court of the Eastern District of Pennsylvania. 
 
 f^ ( f<^^9 
 
ADVERTISEMKNT. 
 
 The j)nncip:il occurrences related in tlic follow iiitj;; p.itjcs>, atc 
 here rc-modelled from a work of fancy, bearing anollier name, 
 and first published in England, more than tlilrty years ago. The 
 objectionable passages are expunged, and the narrative extend- 
 ed, by the addition of a considerable portion of oriirinal matter. 
 In its present shape it is now ofTercd ; and the perusal will, it ib 
 expected, promote not only amusement, hnX a moral cflf'ect on 
 the mind of the reader. 
 
INTRODUCTION. 
 
 -9e®e8- 
 
 It may be alleged, tliat the Tollovving passage 
 from a work, said to be written by the late Dr. 
 John Campbell, and entitled Hei'mippus Bedi- 
 vivus, suggested the first hint of the present 
 performance. 
 
 ^•'There happened in the year 1687, an odd 
 accident at Venice that made a very great stir 
 there, and whicli, I think, deserves to be res- 
 cued from oblivion. The great freedom and 
 ease with which all persons, who make a good 
 appearance, live in that city, is known suilici- 
 ently to all who are acquainted with it; such, 
 therefore, will not be surprised, that a stran- 
 ger, W'ho went by the name of Signor Gualdi, 
 and who made a considerable figure there, was 
 admitted into the best company, though nobo- 
 1 
 
ii INTRODUCTION. 
 
 dy knew wlio or what he was. He remained 
 at Venice some months, and three things were 
 remarked in his conduct. The first was, that 
 he had a small collection of fine pictures, which 
 lie readily shewed to any body that desired it; 
 the next, that he was perfectly versed in all 
 arts and sciences, and spoke on every subject 
 with such readiness and sagacity as astonished 
 ail v/ho heard him ; and it was in the third place 
 observed, that he never wrote or received any 
 letter; never desired any credit, or made use 
 of bills of exchange, but paid for every thing 
 in ready money, and lived decently, though not 
 m splendour. 
 
 ^•^This gentlemen met one day at the coffee- 
 liouse with a Venetian nobleman who was an 
 extraordinary good judge of pictures: he had 
 heard of Signer Gualdi's collection, and, in a 
 \'ery polite manner, desired to see them, to 
 which the other very readily consented. After 
 the Venetian had viewed Signer Gualdi's col- 
 lection, and expressed his satisfaction, by telling 
 him, that he had never seen a finer, considering 
 the number of pieces of which it consisted, he 
 cast his eye by chance over the chamber door, 
 where hung a picture of this stranger. The 
 Venetian looked upon it, and then upon him. 
 
IXTIIODUCTIOX. Ill 
 
 ^This picture was drawn for yoU; sir,' says he 
 to Sigiior Gualdi ; to wliich the other made no 
 answer, but by a low bow. "You look (contin- 
 ued the Venetian) like a man of fifty, and yet I 
 know this picture to be of the hefnd of Titian, 
 who has been dead one hundred and thirty 
 years; how is this possible?' "^It is not easy,' 
 said Signor Gualdi gravely, 'to know all things 
 that are possible; but there is certainly no 
 crime in my being like a picture drawn by Ti- 
 tian.' The Venetian easily perceived by his 
 manner of speaking that he had given the stran- 
 ger offence, and therefore took his leave. 
 
 "He could not forbear speaking of this in 
 the evening, to some of his friends, v.ho resolv- 
 ed to satisfy themselves by looking upon the 
 picture the next day. In order to have an op- 
 portunity of doing so, they went to the coITee- 
 house about the time tiiat Signor Gualdi was 
 wont to come thither, and not meeting with 
 him, one of them, who had often conversed 
 with him, went to his lodgings to inquire after 
 him, where he heard, that he had set out an 
 hour before for Vienna. This affair made a 
 great noise, and found a place in all the news- 
 papers of that time. *" 
 
 ♦Hermippus Redivivus, or llie Sage's Triumph, 3 J ed. p. 160, 
 
IV INTRODUCTION. 
 
 I shall now take the liberty to state why I 
 say, it may be alledged*", that the above pas- 
 sages in Hermippus suggested the hint of this 
 work. I say soj because, like the philosopher, 
 when he was told that some persons had spoken 
 ill of him, I might add, it is plain they do not 
 know my other rogueries, or they would not 
 only talk of this. To be ingenuous, gentle read- 
 er, I am also indebted for the idea of drawing 
 the character of a man possessing unbounded 
 wealth, and indulging in all the luxuries of life, 
 without finding happiness ; and the gift of im- 
 mortality, which merely tends to make him mis- 
 erable ; to the Rasselas of Dr. Johnson, and to 
 either the Jlrahian Kights' Entertainments y 
 or the Tales of the Genii, in which there is a 
 story of a man endowed by a Genius with eter- 
 nal life, and who, outliving all his friends and 
 kindred, bitterly complains of being the most 
 wretched creature in existence. 
 
 Having discharged this duty, I shall proceed 
 
 * This allegation too, it may not be amiss to say, is not strictly 
 true. My work was not written in consequence of that passage, 
 but this; "The stories he inserts of Eugenitjs, PuitiLETHE?, 
 SIG^'•I0R GuAtDi, and the celebrated Flahel, are not only ex- 
 tremely diverting, but may contribute also to the procuring us some 
 ■!t>eU-7vritten Idslory of the Pretenders to the Philosopher's Stone." 
 Dr. Campbell's preface, p. v. 
 
 Mine is the -uell-7vriiten history here prophesied. 
 
INTRODUCTION. V 
 
 to advance a few words respecting the subse- 
 quent pages, which it may not be found unne- 
 cessary to know. 
 
 We writers, who so admirably bring up the 
 rear of our illustrious predecessors, must be 
 contented to arrive at novelty in whatever 
 mode we are able; and I trust it will be ac- 
 knowledged that I have taken as curious a road 
 to it as could be imagined. 
 
 The foundation of the following tale is such 
 lis, it is not to be supposed, ever existed. But 
 if I have mixed human feelings and passions 
 with incredible situations, and thus rendered 
 them impressive, interesting, and pleasing, I 
 shall entertain some hope to be pardoned for 
 any pain I may occasion by an excess of laugh- 
 ter, or by the apparent severity of my attack."? 
 on the tenderest feelings of the heart. 
 
 1^ 
 
»y 
 
 ADVENTURES 
 
 OP 
 
 COUNT D'ORVEAU. 
 
 A ROMANCE. 
 
 CEAP. Z. 
 
 To obviate all unnecessary preamble, I shall, 
 in a few words, comprehensive as whole vol- 
 umes, state, that at the moment I am writing 
 this history of my adventures, I am endowed 
 with an eternity of life, and an endless source 
 of wealth. The means by which I obtained 
 these mighty advantages I shall briefly premise, 
 and then, without further delay, enter into the 
 consequences attendant on their acquisition. 
 
 My name is Count Reginald D'Orveau. 
 I was born in the year 1514, of a noble family, 
 resident in the south of France. My educa- 
 tion was such as became the rank I held in so- 
 ciety, and, from every inference drawn from 
 my natural powers, added to the numerous 
 qualifications acquired by the assistance of art, 
 I seemed to promise to increase, and not dimin- 
 ish, the lustre of my heroic fathers. 
 
 I could now furnish a long, dull; tedious nar- 
 
8 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 rative of the battles in which I distinguished 
 myself; of the meeting of Henry VIII. of Eng- 
 land, and Francis I. of France, their splendour, 
 their tournaments, the knavery of one and the 
 folly of the other, till I came to the battle of Pa- 
 via, when our army was defeated, and our king 
 taken prisoner, and my hopes of reward and 
 promotion were almost entirely disappointed. 
 
 During this period I lost my mother; my fa- 
 ther had died before its commencement. Here 
 I could begin a second course of dulness, by 
 way of ekeing out a volume, to say that after 
 the wars, I took possession of my paternal es- 
 tate ; went to Paris ; gambled, married a beau- 
 tiful woman of distinction ; returned to my es- 
 tate ; lived there some time happily; got four 
 children, three girls and one boy; returned once 
 more to Paris ; was avaricious ; gambled again ; 
 lost my estate, and became almost a beggar. 
 This too I could have interspersed with the 
 pretty prattle of my boy Charles, when I was 
 crazy with losing my money; my wife's grief; 
 and her father's last, long, dying, entertaining, 
 admonitory, speech to me against gambling. All 
 this I could have worked up into a few hun- 
 dred pages, for the pastime of my readers ; but, 
 as I think they will pass their time much better 
 without it, I here promise to be for evermore 
 silent on the subject. 
 
 I shall not even describe how my wife col- 
 lected the little money we had left, and took 
 our children, and me when I was mad (for you 
 must know I went mad after I had lost my mo- 
 
COUNT d'orveau, 9 
 
 ney), into Switzerland, where I ran over the 
 rocks, buifeted such storms as were never heard 
 of; and often, like Virgil's goats, hung fearlessly 
 on the sides of the most tremendous rocks. No ; 
 this, and more such stufT, will be well omitted 
 to make room for matter of greater moment. 
 
 Recovering my senses (which it may be well 
 to- observe, for the information of the faculty 
 who attend Lunatic Hospitals, I did by going 
 out one day in a storm). I left Switzerland, and 
 betook myself, with my family, to Suabia, where 
 we rented a little cottage, situated on the Lake 
 of Constance. 
 
 My wife Adelaide and I were now somewhat 
 advanced in life, but hale and strong, and rea- 
 dy to work, which was a very fortunate thing, 
 as we must otherwise have starved. The re- 
 collection of our former wealth often gave a ter- 
 rible shock to the etherialized nerves of my 
 frame ; but my w ife was always in good humour; 
 and as good humour is catching, as it were, I 
 was generally so too. My wife's charms, though 
 a little impaired, were yet so magnetical as still 
 to attract the needle of my affection, and our 
 love connected us so closely together, that to a 
 bystander we seemed to be two bodies animated 
 by a single soul. To give a short but lively de- 
 scription of my children, I shall begin in this 
 manner with the eldest. 
 
 Charles was like what I had been, all fire and 
 spirit. Julia was blooming. Louisa sage. And 
 Marguerite, the playful cadette of the family. 
 
 Further than this, I can merely say, that I 
 
10 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 believe they were like most other people's 
 children, sometimes good and sometimes naugh- 
 ty, but more frequently the latter. Such then 
 was my family as they surrounded me in the 
 year 1544. 
 
 Food, and the only other comforts of life, be- 
 sides health, which labouring folks enjoy (I mean 
 a cup of good liquor), we could procure at an 
 expence within the product of our labour. We 
 lived as happily as poor devils could whose em- 
 ployment was confined to four things, working, 
 eating, drinking, and sleeping, for about six 
 years, without troubling ourselves with any 
 thing beyond our sphere. At Constance, the 
 city, there was still a talk about the council held 
 there when three Popes contending for the in- 
 fallible chair, Martin V. sat himself comfortably 
 down in it, to the confusion of the three liti- 
 gants. But this and other remarkable events 
 took place unheeded by us. It was said too, 
 that the Rhine passed with such rapidity 
 through the lake of Constance, as not to min- 
 gle with its waters. The truth of this, however, 
 we did not take the pains to examine, content- 
 ing ourselves with sitting on the margin of the 
 lake, and quaffing the nectareous produce of the 
 grapes that grew on the banks of the Rhine. 
 
 Amusing myself very cheerily in this way one 
 summer's evening, in the year 1544, while my 
 wife and children were gone to purchase some 
 provision, a stranger arrived at my habitation. 
 I saw him some paces from me before he came 
 up. He was a little rosy, carbuncle- faced fel- 
 
COUNT d'oRVEAU. 11 
 
 low, much emaciated; liis forehead full of wrink- 
 les, and his hair and beard as white as snow. 
 Mirth was written in his face ; it was easy to 
 perceive that he had suffered much from hard 
 drinking ; yet liis eye (he had but one) was still 
 quick and lively, and that he fixed immediate- 
 ly on a flask of Rlienish standing before me on 
 the table at which I was sitting. 
 
 Noticing the object of his contemplation, I 
 courteously invited him to be seated and par- 
 take of itj which he did without hesitation. He 
 sat some time, and took his glass with the most 
 scrupulous regularity — bumper after bumper, 
 but not a word did he utter. His manner was 
 mysterious. Wti had finished two flasks, and 
 seeing that I did not offer to go for another, he 
 knit his brows, and looked much discontented. 
 I longed to hear him speak, and strongly urged 
 by an undefmable curiosity that began to spring 
 up in my bosom, I went and brought a third, 
 hoping it would prove effectual : in this hope I 
 was not deceived. After taking two bumpers 
 . apiece, he began; — but having lost his front 
 teeth, and having, perhaps, taken rather too 
 large a dose, he mumbled so confoundedly, that, 
 though he talked for three quarters of an hour, 
 I could scarcely gather any thing from his dis- 
 course. Thus much, however, I collected — 
 that he expected to die soon, and that he had 
 a secret of the greatest-importance, which he 
 had determined, in consequence of a liking he 
 had taken to me, to disclose for my advantage. 
 Always very much dissatisfied with poverty, 
 
12 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 my hopes led me to imagine that this was some 
 rich old fellow who might be inclined to leave 
 me his money, and I resolved to humour him. 
 I plied him with Rhenish till he cried for quar- 
 ter, and then taking him to a summer-house I 
 had in the garden, in which was a camp bed, I 
 assisted him to undress, and there left him ; but 
 not till, by his desire, I had placed a light and 
 a flask by his side, in case he should be dry in 
 the night. 
 
 A hospitality of this sort being the practice 
 of the neighbourhood, my wife was not the least 
 surprised at what had passed, that is, at what 
 she knew had passed, for the secret I kept to 
 myself. It troubled my imagination, and would 
 not suffer me to sleep. I rose early in the morn- 
 ing, and visited the stranger. The dcor was 
 locked. I tapped gently, and hearing him 
 move, made myself known to him through the 
 key-hole. He was dressed, and instantly open- 
 ed the door, then returned to his employment, 
 which was this — He had closed all the shutters 
 of the summer-house. There were, however, 
 about eight inches between one shutter and the 
 top of the window ; and some branches of vines, 
 v.'ith their grapes already ripe, hung in the 
 room ; these he was picking, and seemed to rel- 
 ish vastly. He had made a clearance of every 
 thing else I had left him. 
 
 I now inquired how he had rested, and beg- 
 ged to know whether he chose to join my fami- 
 ly at breakfast. To this he answered in a clear- 
 er but inarticulate tone, that he desired to be 
 
COUNT d'orveal'. 13 
 
 concefiled, -aud not to be seen by any one but 
 myself. I bowed assent. He then signified liis 
 wish that I would step and put a flask of Rhen- 
 ish in my pocket, and that we should go and 
 take a w^alk together. I obeyed : and wc pro- 
 ceeded silently till we came to a retired spot, 
 where, seating ourselves upon a bank, he first 
 broke silence to this efl'ect. 
 
 ^•Count Reginald D'Orvcau — am I right? — '• 
 Is that your name?*' 
 
 ^'It is!'' I answered with astonishment. ^'May 
 I crave the favour of yours?" 
 
 ^'No !" he replied, ^'that you shall never 
 know. Nor shall you ever be informed of any 
 thing concerning me but my secrets." 
 
 ^•I confess I lament it," said I, '•but I will 
 ask to hear no more than you are pleased to 
 unfold." 
 
 ^'My friend," resumed he, lifting a bumper 
 to his lips, "your discretion pleases me, and I 
 will be candid. My days are numbered. I know 
 when I shall die, but I do not know what I shall 
 die of. I am threatened with two things ; the 
 one I do not fear, the other I dread most ter- 
 ribly — a paralytic stroke, or the dropsy. To 
 die by a stroke, I should not mind; but to ex- 
 pire with the dropsy, to be killed by water, and 
 that water in my belly, where none ever came 
 before, gives me heartfelt uneasiness. How- 
 ever these things we must leave to the Fates. 
 To the point. The secrets I have to disclose 
 are of the greatest magnitude. All I require 
 of you, and you cannot possess them withoutj 
 2 
 
14 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 is never to confide them to your wife^ children, 
 or any one/*' 
 
 *'Upon these conditions," I replied, ^^I am 
 sorry that I must decline your confidence. My 
 v.ife is a part of myself." 
 
 Turning towards me a look of ineffable con- 
 tempt, he exclaimed, ^^What! is your spirit 
 then so base and pusillanimous, that you can 
 tamely submit to a tyranny so weak and effem- 
 inate? Are you then incapable of acting alone? 
 Must all your life be wasted in the gratification 
 of a woman's whim ; the plaything of her plea- 
 sures? — For shame! Be more a man." 
 
 I felt, I own, a strong inclination to give the 
 old fellow a good threshing; but curiosity to 
 learn his secrets, rendered me motionless and 
 silent. 
 
 He went on : 
 
 ^•'Farewell, D'Orveau: you think my secrets 
 not worth knowing, and my benefits not worth 
 your acceptance. Know that my benefits are 
 such as kings would barter their thrones to pur- 
 chase, and that my wealth exceeds the wealth 
 of empires. 
 
 The sordid love of gold, which, planted in 
 my heart, poisoned with baneful vegetation its 
 nobler and more salubrious feelings, now acted 
 with full force, and I cried, ^'Stop, mysterious 
 stranger! grant me a moment*s leisure to reflect 
 and determine!'' 
 
 ^•^You do not merit it,'' said he, "^^but I grant 
 it.'' We then finished our flask and returned 
 home — he to the summer-house, and I, after 
 
COUNT D ORVEAU. 15 
 
 having provided him with all he wanted, to my 
 wife and children. 
 
 At breakfast my thoughts dwelt so much on 
 the secrets I was alone to hear, that my wife. 
 Adelaide, unused to such an estrangement of 
 my affection and attention, seemed hurt at my 
 incommunicativeness, but taking her round the 
 neck, I gave her a kiss, which instantly set all 
 to rights. 
 
 A circumstance however happened at this 
 time, which, though it may appear trifling to 
 some, is so sweetly expressive of innocence, and 
 so natural and unaffected, that I cannot pass it 
 over. — The reader may judge.' 
 
 My little Marguerite, now eight years of 
 age, had left a little book of Fairy Tales which 
 she had been reading the day before in the sum- 
 mer-house. At first she did not know what was 
 become of it; suddenly, however, she remem- 
 bered where she had read it last; and exclaim- 
 ing with exultation, *^It is in the summer- 
 house," sprang forward to fetch it. I detain- 
 ed her, and told her there was a sick gentleman 
 there that she would disturb. '''But, my love," 
 said I, "you shall have it after dinner." 
 
 "Ah, but, papa," said she, "I want it now. 
 I put it away just where the naughty giant had 
 shut up the gentleman in the dungeon who came 
 to take away the lady. I was obliged to put it 
 away then, because mamma called me to go to 
 bed ; but I want so to know what will become 
 of them, you cannot think." 
 
 Finding her pertinacious in insisting upon a 
 
16 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 topic that was disagreeable to me, her mother 
 called her from me, and wiping away a tear at 
 the innocent speecli of her darling, kissed her, 
 and bid her go and feed the hen and her chick- 
 ens. 
 
 Neither Nature nor Shakspeare can go be- 
 yond this ! And surely, the historian has na 
 right to suppress such delicious scenes of sensi- 
 bility and innocence ! 
 
 CHAP. ZZ. 
 
 After breakfast, as usual, I and Charles went 
 into the fields, to work, a thing which our cir- 
 cumstances would not permit us to neglect. 
 Whether amusing myself, or labouring, my 
 thoughts constantly ran on the stranger's se- 
 crets, of which he had told me enough to let 
 me understand that enormous wealth was one 
 of the consequences of possessing them. Whilst 
 digging, and turning this over in my mind, it 
 suddenly occurred to me, and I wondered (as 
 folks often do) I was so stupid as not to think of 
 it before, that the man who talked of conferring 
 all these riches and blessings on me^ was him- 
 self, apparently, a poor, miserable, unhappy 
 
COUNT d'oRVEAU. 17 
 
 lieggar. This did not at all square with niy 
 logical tenets — 
 
 He offerS;, said I, to cure me of poverty and 
 wretchedness^ and he is himself the poorest and 
 most wretched creature alive. I knew that Lu- 
 cretius teaches that nothing is made of nothing, 
 and I began to fear sadly that I should make no- 
 thing of the old fellow. In a word, and that a 
 word very well understood, I thought he was 
 humbugging me. I might indeed have i^col- 
 lected that Plutus, the god of riches, himself 
 appears in Aristophanes so basely equipped, 
 that when he says "I am Plutus," Carlo ex- 
 claims, ''You, Plutus, dressed in that miserable 
 manner?" However, my fears and thoughts 
 were soon dispelled, and all my curiosity and 
 hopes revived by the following event. 
 
 It was almost dinner time, and my son Charles, 
 a fine keen lad, had his eye fixed on the door of 
 our cot, near which we were at work, expect- 
 ing every moment to see Adelaide give us the 
 signal to come and fall to, when he espied cer- 
 tain ofHcers of the bishop of Constance, accom- 
 panied by a foreigner in a Neapolitan habit, 
 making towards our habitation. It instantly, 
 struck me that they were coming after my old 
 boy — I threw dawn the spade, jumped over the 
 hedge which parted our garden from the field, 
 and hastened to the summer-house. The door 
 was locked according to custom, but I no soon- 
 er cried out, ''You are discovered!" then he 
 threw it open. I described the Neapolitan — 
 terror and alarm sat on his countenance — ''Be- 
 2* 
 
18 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 hind my garden," said I, '^is a wood — I cannot 
 hide you here — hasten there, and conceal your- 
 self till the officers are gone" — ^fear gave him 
 strength — he followed me, and I presently saw 
 him penetrate the thickest part of the wood. 
 
 I now returned through a back door, and 
 sending Adelaide and the children into the gar- 
 den, waited to receive these unwelcome visit- 
 ers. The first thing they did on their arrival 
 was to search every corner in the house; this 
 they did without effect. They then questioned 
 me roundly about the stranger, and I flatly de- 
 nied ever having seen him. I was resolved, let 
 what would happen, not to betray my Plutus 
 into the hands of the bishop. 
 
 Their next proceeding was to threaten me 
 with the Inquisition, but all to no purpose; and 
 after witnessing my abuse of the Inquisition, 
 as the most infernal, diabolical institution that 
 ever man invented, they departed. Not with- 
 out hinting, however, to me that I should hear 
 from them again. I believe they would have 
 taken me with them if they had not been daunt- 
 ed by the manly indignation with which I pro- 
 nounced the immutable truth. 
 
 Nothing could equal the pleasure with which 
 I saw them take boat, and row away from my 
 house. I stood for some moments in silence — at 
 last I burst out, exclaiming, ^^He is rich, after 
 all ! The Inquisition would never have troubled 
 their heads about him if he were as distressed 
 as he appears to be." But my jov was rather 
 overcast by a second reflection thai intruded it- 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 19 
 
 self. He is rich, I had said; I now added, very 
 naturally, though with not so much pleasure, 
 ''But where is Ae.^" 
 
 He was in the wood, it is true, but he might 
 never come out of the wood, or he might leave 
 the wood, and never return to me, or he might 
 die in the wood, before he told me his secrets. 
 This thought terrified me, and I determined to 
 go in search of him. 
 
 I entered at the same place I had shewn him, 
 and there wandered about till I lost my way, 
 (which you know any man may do in a wood). 
 A dreadful storm came on, the awful thunder 
 rolled over the vast expanse of heaven, and tlu 
 vivid lightning in refulgent corruscations dart- 
 ed from — from — (I wish I had Anna Radcliffe 
 by me, for I am at a stand; I know this is the 
 place for description, but I cannot get on.) 
 Well, the eifect of all this was, that I was wet 
 through, and after avoiding a banditti (whom I 
 observed at a distance sitting comfortably by a 
 fire, eating their supper), and trudging about 
 till it was day-light, I, without any pole-star, 
 found myself at home. 
 
 My wife and children ran round me the mo- 
 ment I entered the door — 0, it was a pretty 
 scene — My wife took off my coat, Charles took 
 off my hat, Julia unbuttoned my waistcoat, Lou- 
 isa pulled off my right stocking, and little Mar- 
 guerite my left stocking. Then my wife rub- 
 bed my neck with a towel, Julia aired my linen, 
 Louisa rubbed my feet with hot brandy, little 
 Marguerite blew on them that it might not burn 
 
20 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 me, Charles stood by, holding the bottle, and I 
 every now and then took a glass to comfort me. 
 
 All this very much reminded me of a passage 
 in Bion, where the dead Adonis is surrounded 
 by Cupid's, each employed in doing him some 
 little office. 
 
 It was indeed a delicious sight, and I think 
 I have well described it. I am but a bad hand 
 at sublime description, but at the tender, pa- 
 thetic, homely scene, I do not know my equal ! 
 
 Some people would imagine tliat I had had 
 enough of the wood, and consequently be sur- 
 prised when I tell them, that in a very short 
 time I set out again. Their astonishment, how- 
 ever, is nothing to me, and is certainly very sil- 
 ly, if they Vvdll but recollect my object — money; 
 after which, whatever a man does or sustains, as 
 this world goes, may surprise them, but shall 
 never surprise ine. Away I went — Charles 
 wanted to go with me, but upon this I put a 
 peremptory prohibition. 
 
 I had the precaution, this time, to furnish my- 
 self with a slight provision of food and a flask 
 of my best Rhenish. I had already spent sever- 
 al hours in anxiously ti-acing the wood in eveiy 
 direction, and the period of noon was past, 
 when, approaching an obscure and almost im- 
 penetrable thicket, a low and melancholy sound 
 caught my ear, for which I could not at first 
 readily account. It, however, increased, and 
 at length arrested my attention so much as to 
 cause me to stop, and assu?ne an attitude of 
 listening. Now, I say, that is a picture — you 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 21 
 
 see the man standing in a cnnning posture and 
 listening. — If you do not, wliy — 
 
 At length I perceived the legs, and some- 
 thing like the garb of a man. It was the stran- 
 ger! he appeared to have crept into the thick- 
 et upon his hands and knees. When I forced 
 my way to him, he seemed in the very act of ex- 
 piring. He was lying on his face, and I raised 
 him a little. His eyes were fixed, his mouth 
 was open, his lips and tongue were parched and 
 dry. — Seeing that, I poured a bumper of Rhen- 
 ish into his mouth, upon which he shook his 
 head, made a gulp, swallowed the wine, open- 
 ed his eyes, and grinned. But he soon relaps- 
 ed, and again appearing faint, I repeated my 
 application. This had a good but momentary 
 effect. A paralytic stroke succeeded. I thought 
 he was dead. His secret, now as I imagined lost, 
 instantly recurred to my mind, and in my an- 
 guish I threw myself by his side. Suddenly I 
 felt him move — I heard him sigh — I lifted up 
 my head and perceived him sitting on the 
 ground, with my flask to his mouth, from which 
 he was taking long swigs. 
 
 I threw my arms about him ; I pressed him 
 to my heart. Do not blame me, good reader, 
 for you know, if you had an old rich uncle or 
 grandame dying, you would do just the same. 
 
 Seating myself by his side, I asked him hoiv 
 he did? hoping he would say that he was going 
 to die, and therefore find it necessary to tell me 
 the secret. My hope was not disappointed. 
 
22 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 *^I shall never witness the light of the setting 
 sun again!" were the first words he uttered. 
 
 "Heaven be praised/^ I inwardly ejaculated. 
 
 I immediately perceived that he spoke more 
 collectedly, and with better articulation, than at 
 any time since his stroke. 
 
 He continued, though with various interrup- 
 tions, for more than half an hour. He explain- 
 ed, with wonderful accuracy, the whole of his 
 secrets. They consisted of two principal par- 
 ticulars, the art of multiplying gold, and the 
 power of living for ever. The detail of these 
 secrets I omit; into that I am forbidden to en- 
 ter. My design in writing is not to get money, 
 as you will readily admit, for you know I have 
 plenty of that; nor is it to teach the art of which 
 I am in possession (and make every body as 
 wise, or, which is the same, or a better thing, 
 as some think, as rich as myself ), but to de- 
 cribe the adventures it produced to me. 
 
 This, upoji my honour ! is all that is material, 
 that passed at our interview. 
 
 After the disclosure, he put the flask to his 
 lips again, and swallowing the remainder, fell 
 back and died ; at least I thought him dead : or 
 he might have been only overcome by the too 
 frequent applications of the flask : but be that 
 as it may, I was so overcome with joy, that I 
 hastily thrust him into the thicket, accoi'ding 
 to his instructions, and returning home, never 
 saw or heard of him more. 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 23 
 
 CHAP. ZXZ. 
 
 I HAVE already said that I do not shine in de- 
 scriptions of a turbulent nature, therefore I shall 
 not attempt to depict the tumultuous state of my 
 so,ul the moment I reached home, and felt con- 
 vinced that Croesus, with all his abundance, was 
 but a beggar to me ; and Pactolus, if its streams 
 had l)een all liquid gold, would have been a 
 mere puddle of wealth when compared with my 
 exhaustless ocean. Added to this, I had the 
 ])Ower, by means of an elixir, of perpetuating 
 my days till the age of Methusalem should not 
 bear the proportion of a baby's to mine, before 
 which all the wondrous longevities of man in 
 former times combined should dwindle into 
 nothing. I could be immortal ! I could be that 
 thing whose existence no addition will augment, 
 
 and no deduction diminish. I could be 
 
 But, I beg pardon, I fear I am writing too well, 
 I will endeavour to descend. 
 
 My joy was so unbounded that I could with 
 difiiculty contain myself within the bounds of 
 decency before my wife and children. I kissed 
 them all round and round again. I leaped and 
 danced about like — like I did when I had lost 
 all my money: so similar are often the eifects of 
 opposite causes. Charles, Julia, Louisa, and 
 Marguerite, all danced with me ; but my dear 
 
 \ 
 
24 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 Adelaide, thinking I had relapsed into my for- 
 mer malady, sat down and wept. This inflicted 
 a wound upon me, but I soon found means to 
 heal it, turning all her sorrow into joy with a 
 story which I trumped up, that the stranger 
 was dead, and had left me sole heir to an estate 
 of ten thousand crowns. 
 
 I could perceive that in my wife my story 
 produced a few emotions of pleasure. Julia and 
 her mother especially were warmly attached to 
 money. The lively little Marguerite observed 
 their joy, which made a transient abode upon 
 their countenances. And she sympathized with 
 them, probably without being aware that they 
 were merry. Now I call that shewing deep 
 knowledge of the human heart ! Charles' veins 
 swelled with the blood of his ancestors, and, al- 
 ready sixteen years of age, he burned to go forth 
 into the world and distinguish himself. He was 
 therefore delighted at the means I had acquir- 
 ed of promoting his wish. 
 
 Louisa was the only one who said nothing. 
 She sat on a little three-legged stool by the side 
 of her mother, and uttered not a syllable ; but 
 oh ! how eloquent was her silence. Words are 
 at any time but ill calculated to express silence, 
 but on this occasion so much so, that I must 
 leave it to th'e reader's imagination to enjoy in 
 perfection this interesting object in the family 
 picture, which, I trust, I have delineated with 
 my usual skill. 
 
 My wife did, I should say by the by, make 
 a terrible long speech on this occasion ; but as I 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 25 
 
 cannot see how the cliattering of a foolisli wo- 
 man concerns any one but her husband, I shall 
 keep it to myself. 
 
 Next day myself and Charles went to Con- 
 stance, and fixed on a nice ])leasant spot of 
 ground, which I purchased, and immediatly set 
 all the workmen I could find to build me a no- 
 ble mansion upon it. In the interim I hired, 
 and we took up our abode in commodious apart- 
 ments in one of the grand squares not far from 
 the spot where the f^iirs were usually held. We 
 remained here about four months, during v. bich 
 time we enjoyed ourselves in every luxury that 
 money could produce ; but I was sorry to ob- 
 serve that, since the change we had experi- 
 enced, my Adelaide had become a little too fond 
 oi cordials ; — however, I could deny her noth- 
 ing. Our new house and our out-houses, hot- 
 houses, and summer-houses, being now ready, 
 I took my liiinily there with all possible expe- 
 dition. My children were in raptures vvith 
 them, and my wife was not more enclianted than 
 surprised at the magificence and taste displayed 
 in my improvements. 
 
 Always of a restless spirit, and desirous of 
 shewing Charles a little more of the world, I 
 left with Adelaide a sum of money equal to the 
 disbursements of many years, and took an affec- 
 tionate fiirewell of my family. Charles being 
 mounted on his proud and inrpatient steed, and 
 decorated in rich and costly attire, we set ofi' for 
 Dresden. In our route, according to the maps 
 and gazetteer, we passed through Munich or 
 3 
 
26 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 Munchen, the capital of Bavaria ; through Ra- 
 tisbon or Regensburg, the only free imperial ci- 
 ty and sovereign state in the electorate; and 
 tlirough Prague, the capital of Bohemia, which 
 lies one hundred miles N. E. of Ratisbon. At 
 Munich we found the court of the elector pala- 
 tine; the diet of the empire was sitting at Ra- 
 tisbon when we arrived at that city. This diet 
 (I know I am right, for I have the gazetteer be- 
 fore me!) often meet in a large upper rooom, 
 ])roperly decorated with tapestry, and the em- 
 ])cror*s throne with clotli of gold. 
 
 Novelty prompted Charles' admiration : he 
 was intoxicated with Vvonder. But the court of 
 3)resden was infinitely more deliglitful to him 
 llian tlie court of Municli, or the imperial dis- 
 play at Ratisbon. Here Cliarles saw a young- 
 prince in tlie flower of his age, who was not 
 like the detestable race of princes are in gener- 
 al, but whose talents rendered him the univer- 
 sal object of attention and adoration. What 
 were Cliarles* feelings on this occasion? Why, 
 the sentiment tliat he breathed, as it were in- 
 stinctively, when we returned from our seeing 
 duke Maurice the first time, was, ^"^At twenty- 
 three years of age, may I, in appearance, ac- 
 complishments, and spirit, resemble this man!" 
 There's an instinclive aent'uiunt for you! 
 
 Here I gave loose to the most unbridled ex- 
 travagance, living in a style that astonished all 
 tJie poor German princes who had an opportu- 
 nity of beholding and tasting my entertainments. 
 I was indeed so much the object of public no- 
 
COUNT D OUVEAU. 27 
 
 tice, that the source of my wealth became the 
 subject of investigation. Tiie more inquiry 
 made on that head, the less satisfactory intelli- 
 gence could be obtained. The general conclu- 
 sion, however, soon reached my ears. — I had 
 often thought with fear of what inferences might 
 be drawn from my manner of living; and my 
 mind was one morning particularly torn and dis- 
 tracted with these contemplations, when my at- 
 tention was suddenly roused by the abrupt en- 
 trance of my son Charles into the room where 
 I was sitting. He opened the door with a hur- 
 ried action as he entered; and, having closed it 
 impetuously after him. advanced directly to- 
 wards me. He then turned round upon his heel 
 and walked from me. My whole soul was alarm- 
 ed at what I saw; and following him as he re- 
 tired to the other side of the room, in the gent- 
 lest accents, I enquired the cause of this very 
 extraordinary behaviour. 
 
 He repelled me. " Sit down, sir," said he, 
 ^^sit down ! Do not follow me, I beg of you ; but 
 I insist on it, sit down!" 
 
 I obeyed his directions mechanically. 
 
 He then said, ''^I have no time for form and 
 - qualifying words. Tell me. am I the son of ;t 
 man of honour or a villain?" 
 
 He saw I was shocked at the unexpected 
 rudeness of his question; he therefore conde- 
 scended to explain. 
 
 ^^I am just come," said he, ^^from the tennis 
 court near the river, where I was playing with 
 ^he young count Luitman, when his friend, the 
 
28 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 chevalier Dupont, a Frenchman, joined us. I 
 had been uncommonly fortunate ; count Luitman 
 was displeased, and Diipont took upon himself 
 to revenge his friend for the loss of his money." 
 
 ^•' ^Count/ said he, 'I wonder you should play 
 with that fellow (meaning me). He is a dealer 
 in the black art.' 
 
 ^^^ Fellow! Black art!' I cried with indigna- 
 tion, ^what do you mean?^ 
 
 a '^My meaning is clear enough,' replied the 
 chevalier coolly; 'but if you do not understand 
 me, I vs^ill explain without all this blustering. 
 Sir, I take conjuring to be a black art, and I 
 think svandling an art to the full as black. Your 
 father, the Count Reginald D'Orveau, was, to 
 my knovvledge, ruined at Paris by gambling. 
 He has had no opportunity to recover his for- 
 tune, and if he had, his present magnificence 
 and splendour would far exceed its limits. It 
 necessarily follows, therefore, that he is either^ 
 a conjurer or a swindler. Now, granting either 
 of these, it is fair to presume, that you, his son, 
 are not left wholly uninstructed in these arts, 
 v.iiich I denominate equally black.' 
 
 "I attempted to strike him, but was prevent- 
 ed. — To you, sir, I now resort for explanation. 
 From you I must hear the fact." 
 
 ••'My dear Charles," said I, "what has over- 
 come you?" 
 
 '•No evasion, sir," continued he, "no artful 
 tale, no disguise, but the fact; — you must satis- 
 fy me at once of the fact." 
 
 "Foolish, presumptions boy I" I exclaimed, 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 29 
 
 ^*you know not what you ask! Hear me, anil 
 remember: — You shall not be satisfied!'/'' 
 
 Upon which lie exclaimed, and I think I stifl 
 hear the voice of my gallant boy, ''*Tlic;>, sir, 
 here we part, never to meet again!!"' 
 
 I begged and conjured him to stay, hut he 
 threw himself into my arms, and I felt the ag- 
 onies of a parting embrace. 
 
 My Charles had disobeyed me, but I gloried 
 in that, it shewed that he was not the soulless 
 shadow of that conspicuous hero I had beci' 
 anxious to make him. I had detested enforcing 
 obedience in children, as only serving to 1)rcak 
 their spirits^ anddeprive them of all manliness 
 and energy. 
 
 ••'Go my glorious son !'' I exclaimed, "act up- 
 on the dictates of your choice, as 1 have acted 
 on mine!" 
 
 My joy however, on account of the daring 
 uncontrollable spirit my boy had cxliibited, was 
 a little overcast by the recollection, tliat tlunigii 
 I had by my instruction well pickled his mind, 
 yet his frame was unseasoned, and unable to 
 bear hunger in barren deserts, and beneath in- 
 clement skies. '^Ah," cried I, •'^how much 
 more delight should I have enjoyed if I had 
 accompanied his senseless remains to the grave. 
 There all our prospects e??f/.'''*" 
 
 ♦ It is hoped, that no offence will be taken at tlicsc words. I 
 know there are very many gooil, well-meaning' people, who bc- 
 lievc, that at the grave — all our best (jrospccts begin.' Hut this i- 
 an opinion not in accordance with the calculations and sentimcnui 
 of philosophers of the Epicurean school. They boasted of siipe- 
 
30 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 Highly pleased with my tour, I resolved to 
 quit Dresden, and to retrace the route I had 
 lately pursued with my son, when I was unac- 
 quainted with his noble gallant genius. My 
 wife and daughters now occupied my thoughts, 
 but looking forward to scenes of endless varie- 
 ty and attraction, I did not feel that vrarmth of 
 regard for Adelaide I had formerly experien- 
 ced. I could no longer confide in her, and ac- 
 quaint her Vv4th my endowments and privile- 
 ges: my joys were great, but I wanted her 
 friendly bosom, or some other, into which to 
 pour out my feelings, and thus by participation 
 to re]idcr my transports truly balsamic. No; 
 Adelaide and I, though corporeally we might 
 sit in the same apartniejit in mind a gulph, 
 wide, impassable, and tremendous, gaped be- 
 tween us. This gulph was frightful, and much 
 impaired my love for m}' wife. However I de- 
 termined to go and see licr once more. I there- 
 fore wrote to tliat elTect, telling her at the same 
 time of the glorious conduct of our boy, and 
 that I should expect to hear from her at Mu- 
 nich, where I intended to stay and amuse my- 
 self for a few days in my way home. 
 
 At Munich I accordingly received a long 
 epistle from her, which I shall not transcribe, 
 because it might appear frivolous. — But there 
 is one part which I cannot omit, as it is highly 
 expressive of her refined feelings. 
 
 rior refinement in their supposed ilhiminated state ; and no more is 
 here intended, tlian to poiirtray the feehngs of a votary to a false 
 philosophy. 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 31 
 
 At Dresden I had indulged in a few gallan- 
 tries. She had heard this and like a good soul, 
 j)resently acquainted nie with it. But I posi- 
 tively denying the charge, she wrote ine the 
 following pointed and remarkable passage. 
 
 •^As to the denial of your incontinency, that 
 is of a piece with every thing you have lately 
 attempted to make me believe; I no longer ex- 
 pect truth from you." 
 
 After this she talked much about dying, and 
 the benefit of my girls; by the whole of which 
 I perceived that she was most furiously jealous. 
 Fearing, however, that there might be some 
 truth in what she said, and dreading lest she 
 should die owing to any miscalculation of mine, 
 1 instantly set off for Constance. 
 
 Some of my fair readers, will perhaps ask 
 me why, anxious as I wr.s for the life of Ade- 
 laide, I did not administer a little of my elixir 
 of life to her, and make her live for ever. But 
 I will not answer such idle questions — as if any 
 man would make his wife immortal if he could! 
 No : and if they will not accept of any commu- 
 nication upon my own terms, they must lay 
 aside my book. But I can see their drift; they 
 want to pump me. However, I can assure 
 them that I have no intention to furnish the re- 
 motest hint respecting the science of which I 
 am the depository. 
 
32 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 CHAP. IV. 
 
 On my arrival I found Adelaide surrounded 
 by her blooming daughters. I quickly marked 
 a great alteration in her appearance. Her look 
 was strange and confused ; her form was ema- 
 ciated; her countenance pale. She lifted her 
 eyes as I entered^ but immediately dropped 
 them again. Then I soon perceived that slie 
 was far gone. Having saluted my children. 
 I addressed myself to Adelaide, telling her that 
 I must have some conversation with her in- 
 stantly. 
 
 •'^Instantly!'*' said she, in a fluttering voice, 
 '•you're in a great hurry indeed." She now 
 offered to rise, which she did with some di/Ii- 
 culty; upon which she observed, ^'Ah, Regi- 
 nald, your neglect has driven me to this!*' 
 
 ••'I am come to you," cried I, ^^a repenting 
 prodigal. Take me and mould me at your 
 pleasure." 
 
 Next morning, as I sat surrounded with my 
 children, a second consequence of my wealth, 
 still more alarming than the former, occurred 
 to me. Certain officers of justice belonging to 
 the supreme tribunal of the city, entered the 
 room. They were sent, as they informed me, 
 to conduct me to prison. My blood at this in- 
 telligence mounted into my face, and thinking 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 33 
 
 to daunt them, I told them I was a gentleman 
 of France, and that they would repent this in- 
 solence. 
 
 ^'^You will please not to talk of insolence to 
 us/' was their reply; "if you do not demean 
 yourself quietly " 
 
 Here a delicious, a delightful little incident 
 must not be passed over. 
 
 Julia, who was ready to faint, occupied the 
 attention of her mother. The little Marguerite 
 clung round my knees, and shewed that this 
 was a spectacle whicli the afTectionateness of 
 lier nature was unable to endure. 
 
 Seeing this, a speech full of nature directly 
 struck me, which I made to the officers. — It 
 was this : ^'See how you have terrified the 
 children .''' 
 
 Then my little Marguerite said (0 so pret- 
 tily!) "They shall not take you away, papa; 
 that they shall not! I will hold you, and will 
 not let you go !'' 
 
 Finding hov-ever, that they would have me, 
 she, flinging her arms around my neck, cried, 
 "good bye, papa, good bye!" 
 
 The following day I was brought up for ex- 
 amination. I entered the room haughtily, and 
 with the most sovereign and ineffable contempt 
 sitting on my brow for every soul in court. I 
 tried on the judge what had failed on his myr- 
 midons. 
 
 "Do you know, sir," said I, '^^that I am a 
 gentleman of France ?" Of this however the 
 magistrate took no notice. But he presently 
 
34 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 much abated my pride, and astonished my hear- 
 ing by this speech. 
 
 "Seven years ago, you can well remember, 
 that you and your family were almost perishing 
 with hunger. But within the last six months 
 the scene is wholly changed. You appear to 
 have suddenly grown rich, and here and in oth- 
 er parts of Germany have actually disbursed en- 
 ormous sums. Now, the stranger who was seen 
 with you at your cottage on the lake, died, or 
 in some manner disappeared about six months 
 since, while under your protection. In the re- 
 gisters of the church there is no notice of that 
 event. You are required to account clearly 
 and unequivocally for these circumstances. If 
 you do not, you will, according to our laws, the 
 mildest in the imiverse, be condemned to per- 
 petual imprisonment." 
 
 Feeling that I could not answer these ques- 
 tions, I determined to carry it off with a high 
 hand, and after some little dialogue between me 
 and the judge, during which, by the way of 
 quizzing each other, we used the terms, Mon- 
 siei/j' le Comte^ and Monsieur le Juge, I said, 
 •*I feel myself animated by the soul of honour, 
 and incapable of crime. I know my inno- 
 cence, and I rest on it with confidence. Your 
 vulgar citizens, habituated to none but the 
 grovelling notions of traffic and barter, are not 
 the peers of D'Orveau, nor able to comprehend 
 the views and sentiments by which he is guid- 
 ed. Your prisons I despise !" 
 
 This was a clincher ! 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 35 
 
 •^^Whatl" exclaimed the judge, ^^have you 
 the insolence to brave our authority, and scorn 
 our proffered lenity? But we will see how far 
 you can carry your contumacy." Then turn- 
 ing to the officers, he sternly ordered them to 
 bear me to prison, and added, ^^He will soon 
 leai-n there to entertain more respect for this 
 tribunal, and more docility of temper." 
 
 I was about to reply. 
 
 ^'I have done with you;" — said the judge. 
 — "Away with him!" 
 
 Soon after I was confined in prison, I learn- 
 ed that Monsieur Monluc, an agent of the court 
 of France, making a tour of several of the Ger- 
 man states, was then at the city of Constance. 
 To him I applied, in hopes of obtaining my re- 
 lease. After some days investigation, became, 
 perfectly prepossessed against me, and when 
 he had heard my story, and told me that my 
 appeal was full of energy, that he admired, at 
 least the gallantry of my sentiments, &c. &c. he 
 made his bow, and I never saw him more. 
 
 I miglit now be said to have reached the end 
 of my adventure : I had closed one grand ex- 
 periment upon the donation of the stranger, and 
 witnessed the fallacy of my calculations on the 
 possession of his gift. Here I was, in prison, 
 deprived of the aid of powerful friends fi'om 
 without, or even the means of awakening their 
 sympathies in my liivour. However, there was 
 another experiment which I had neglected, al- 
 most never-tailing in its operations, and which 
 might have had its effect even on Monsieur 
 
36 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 Monluc — Bribery. — This was now my last re- 
 sort. Impressed with this opinion, I fixed up- 
 on a negro, a servant of the prison, and who 
 had the keys of my apartment, as the subject 
 of my pecuniary experiment. 
 
 I had been listening one day to my wife's 
 voice as to the sound of an angelic lyre ; I was 
 all ear, when I heard my keeper open the door. 
 Adelaide had left me in tears, and I was con- 
 sidering from what cause they could arise — I 
 knew they sprung from various sources, and 
 amongst others, according to Homer, Odyss. 
 19. and Heliodorus, jEthiop. b. 5. from too 
 much wine — I was thinking of this, I say, at 
 the time the negro entered, which I deemed 
 the best, being alone, to sound him on my pur- 
 pose. I began, 
 
 "You are very poor," said I. 
 
 ^^So they tell me," said he. 
 
 I was surprised at the propriety of his an- 
 swers. I am unable at this distance of time to 
 recall the defects of his language : and I disdain 
 the mimic toil of inventing a jargon; — yes, my 
 characters shall all think and speak like philo- 
 sophers, such philosophers as myself. I went on: 
 
 "It is a very sad thing to be poor!" 
 
 "Wily, yes," said he, "so I have heard,sir.'' 
 
 I had before been struck with a certain cor- 
 rectness of thinking in him ; but his last answer 
 was so just and philosopliical, that I could not 
 help gazing upon him with amazement. I mark- 
 ed the lineaments of his face, in wJiich I fan- 
 cied I decerned the interminable lines which 
 
COUNT D OUVEAU. 37 
 
 denote a love of liberty. I therefore asked 
 him (and this question brouglit me to a piece 
 of the sheerest wit I ever uttered) "^'whether 
 he approved of a man's being deprived of lib- 
 erty?" With great mathematical precision, 
 defining terms as he proceeded, he inquired 
 what liberty was? — Now tliough I had often 
 thought^ and made a great clamour about lib- 
 erty, yet I was never more ])iizx>led than bv 
 this question. However ?iii/ luit served me, and 
 thus I spoke: 
 
 •^^ Would you be pleased, instead of being a 
 turnkeijf to iiave tlie hey turned on yourself?*' 
 Hey, reader! well, you see I can if I like.* 
 
 To this the negro answered with his usual 
 acuteness, ^Hhat he should not:" but findinc: 
 this a round-about way of coming to the point, 
 I cut short all further preliminaries, and oflered 
 him a sum of money to connive at my escape. 
 This, with a philosophy nuich above 7ny com- 
 prehension, he positively refused, saying, he 
 would remain faithful to his master. I now per- 
 ceived that he was affected with the whim of in- 
 tegrity; (indeed we philosophers look upon in- 
 
 * Many who are not judges of lefined and deep wit, wilJ, per- 
 haps, on tlie first blush, call this a poor ami wortliless pun. Its 
 similitude may niisk ad some ; hut even such will be taught to 
 estimate my talent at a higher rate, when they read the argument 
 I have to advance in I'avour of puns, which is certainly belter 
 than any ever yet offered in tiieir (Icfencc. In the Indian .?;/- 
 tiqtiities, by Mii. Maiiikk, an ivutiior whose works do honour to 
 his countr}', 1 finil this note. 
 
 "Kighty cowris are called a ptin^ and from fift}' to sixty putts 
 amount in value to a rupee.' N'ol. I. p, 252. 
 
 I know many wlio coin this specie so fast, that in the East 
 tlicy would soon be nabobs. 
 
 4 
 
38 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 tcgrity and every thing of that sort as all whim); 
 but before I could attack him in any other way, 
 he quitted me. 
 
 Kings and potentates might have confessed 
 their inferiority to this man, as indeed, they 
 should to any man, who in so humble a sphere 
 could resist the powerful temptation of argu- 
 ment and gold. It seemed to me unaccountable, 
 wJiy he, being so poor, should persist in his 
 stubborn adherence to the interest and views 
 of his employers. Had he not evinced by his 
 answers, a deep skill in the principles of mod- 
 ern philosophy, I should not have been puzzled 
 to see him resist with admirable hardihood and 
 presence of mind, not only tlie liberality of my 
 gift, but the promise of future protection and 
 favour. It did not occur to me that he was 
 probably ignorant of the extent of my reputed 
 means of rewarding him beyond the measure 
 of his hopes. As it was, neither flattery, nor 
 gold, (the neverfailing avenues to the object of 
 the ambitious and aspiring adventurer) could 
 assist me in the present case. I said before, this 
 man is superior to kings; but, being such, in 
 the present instance, is he to be regarded only 
 as the model of human exellence? 0, no! 
 
 I was not long left at leisure for these reflec- 
 tions. In a few minutes the master of the pris- 
 on entered my apartment. He was a little, 
 grey-eyed, shrewd looking fellow, with whom 
 I saw at once there was a much better chance 
 of driving a successful bargain than with the 
 negro, who, it appeared had disclosed to him 
 
COUNT d'oiiveau. 39 
 
 our conversation. He began by reproaching 
 me, saying, "So, master, it appears you are 
 not satisfied with your accommodations ; not 
 only that, but you must endeavour to corrupt 
 my faithful servant. I am sorry you are dissat- 
 isfied here, but you know we must do our duty. 
 I don't think it becomes such a gentleman as 
 you appear to be, using such endeavours to 
 procure your enlargement, in the way you 
 have done.'"' 
 
 ''•The love of liberty,'* I answered, '^'is nat- 
 ural to all men, and all means at all times are 
 lawful to promote so desirable an object. It is 
 true, in this instance I have failed; yet it docs 
 not follow that any blame or odium should fall 
 on me for the want of success. I can only say, 
 that I am not so much vexed at myself for hav- 
 ing made the attempt and failed, as in having 
 mistaken my man.'' 
 
 *^Aye, master," said he, "^^you say truly? you 
 did mistake your man. It was not quite so clev- 
 er of you as might be, to attempt to corrupt 
 that faithful fellow, and I don't much wonder 
 that you have missed your mark. The next 
 time you attempt the like, be more sure of your 
 man." "I certainly will;" said I, for I now 
 began to see there was a chance of renewing 
 the negociation with the principal, with much 
 better hopes of success. '''But, surely," said I, 
 after a pause, "there was after all. but little to 
 blame me for, in my attempt upon the integrity 
 of a person of his character ; so poor, that few 
 arguments must needs be necessary to convince 
 
40 ADVENTURES OP 
 
 him of the propriety of effecting my escape by 
 his assistance.'*' 
 
 ••'Perfectly true, master," said he; ^^and I 
 do not much wonder that you preferred apply- 
 ing to one of my ser\ ants. Their honesty might 
 reasonably be expected at tb.e cheapest rate: all 
 right and fair, master, — but you see it won't do. 
 You miglit have spared yourself the trouble, 
 seeing the ill success of your scheme. For my 
 part, I am determined that no man shall ever 
 pass these walls without my being the richer 
 for it. If then, you wish to escape, let us come 
 to the point at once : let me see what you can 
 afford to give ine, and your wishes shall be ac- 
 complished. '^ 
 
 This was coming to the point with a venge- 
 ance to it — I could not mistake his meaning: I 
 left him to name his price, and our bargain was 
 consequently soon concluded, and the time fix- 
 ed for my escape, when I was to take the phi- 
 losophical negro along with me, that his flight 
 miglit cause all the blame to fall upon him. 
 
 Time was far from moving indeed with the 
 rapidity my impatience recpiired; but the hour 
 of appointment at last was near. The cathe- 
 dral bell sounded twelve. 'Twas awful! any 
 thing but the cathedral hell would have had no 
 effect. Presently (as the most natural way of 
 geting in) a key was applied to the door of my 
 apartment, and, wonderful to tell ! it opened. 
 
 Three persons, whom I knew to be servants 
 of the prison, entered, and, to my great disap- 
 pointment and astonishment led me to a filthy 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 41 
 
 dungeon. In my rage I knocked down two of 
 tliem, but they at length secured me ; and, 
 loading me with fetters, chained me to the wall. 
 There being no light, I was then left in utter 
 darkness. 
 
 *'So,'' said I, after the first cl)ullitions of my 
 wrath had subsided, "a precious pair of scoun- 
 drels I have trusted to : the one is too honest 
 or too ignorant to risk himself for my sake or 
 all my tempting olTers, and the other, too ava- 
 ricious to resist the bait, yet withal too cunning 
 to omit this opportunity of practising on my 
 credulity. It may be, perhaps, that, as he ob- 
 tained the moi\ey with so little difliculty, he 
 imagines me not to be niggardly with my 
 wealth, and has invented some new contrivance 
 to extort a greater sum, and practise to the ut- 
 most the accomplishment of his purpose.'' 
 
 I had remained in this situation about twelve 
 hours, full of angry and disconsolate thoughts, 
 when the principal jailor entered my dungeon. 
 
 '•Execrable and detested villian!" cried 1, 
 "is this your faith? What further device have 
 you in store to prolong my captivity? Plow do 
 you mean to dispose of me?'' 
 
 ''Keep you in close custody, master,*' he re- 
 plied with a leer of self-satisfaction at having 
 outwitted me; and enjoying my mortification 
 and disappointment, he proceeded, ^"I have got 
 your thousand gold pieces, safe enough. You 
 had better be calm ; and who knows what good 
 luck may turn up for you." 
 
 ^ 'Leave me," said I, ^^for it appears you 
 4^ 
 
42 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 have only come to tantalize my feelings, and 
 mock my sufTerings/' 
 
 ''Little would be gained by that," said he, 
 *^I came here to confer with yon ; but you do 
 not seem to be in the humour, so, I'll even do 
 as you desire.'' 
 
 ''Stay," said I, after a pause, "what is it 
 }0u drive at, and what is the exact purpose of 
 your visit?" 
 
 "You talked just now about my disposing of 
 you — " replied he. approaching closer to me, 
 "who knows but that, if you dispose of your 
 money proper I//. 1/ou may dispose of yourself.'* 
 
 "liey!— What? — '* said I. 
 
 ^'Another thousand," he answered, ''and 
 then — may be — " 
 
 "Precious villain!" said I internally. 
 
 The second thousand was soon offered, and 
 .is soon accepted. I could perceive that the fa- 
 cility with which I produced the sums, he de- 
 manded, puzzled him strangely ; and well it 
 might. 
 
 I doubted even now whether he would let 
 me go; and I believe he would not, if he had 
 not thought he had drained my pui^e to the 
 bottom. Influenced by this supposition, this 
 xvorthy man, after having prevailed on the ne- 
 gro to accompany me, permitted us to escape 
 together. 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 43 
 
 CHAP. V. 
 
 The reader will be pleased to recollect, that 
 1 had at this time experienced the advantages 
 and disadvantages of but one of the stranger's 
 secrets. — The elixir of life, which would con- 
 fer immortality on me, I had not yet imbibed. 
 This event, however, and the consequent ex- 
 traordinary circumstances that happened to me, 
 1 shall soon relate, but a few intervening inci- 
 dents, which, as natural ones, are sufliciently 
 marvellous, I shall beg leave to premise. 
 
 It was late in the evening when the jailor 
 set me and Scipio (for such was the name c«- 
 fj7'irc had given the negro) at liberty. My stay 
 at Constance must necessarily be short; but 1 
 determined not to leave that city until I had 
 seen and taken leave of my family. My wife 
 would, I was sure, be desirous of accompany- 
 ing me, but I was resolved to take no baggage. 
 
 C) what a meeting was ours ! What were the 
 sorrows of my wife ! I know there are men who 
 will listen with fretful impatience to a detail of 
 such sorrows as hers; but to such I write not. 
 For those who are incapable of sympathizing 
 with the delicate sensations of Adelaide, I am 
 no fit author; unless I am allowed to be tender 
 and pathetic, I am nothing. 
 
 Then my children ; — my Julia, my Louisa, 
 
44 ADVENTURES OP 
 
 my little Marguerite — Ah ! reader ! but enough! 
 Our parting was not less painful and melancho- 
 ly than its occasion was extraordinary, and its 
 mode uncommon. Habit has a resistless empire 
 over the human mind, and, when we reflect 
 with how much reluctance we consent to the 
 removal of a /ree or a hedge, to the sight of 
 which we have been accustomed, it will not be 
 wonderful that my little dears should lament a 
 separation from their father. 
 
 In this pretty passage, I cannot help request- 
 ing the reader to observe how much more lively 
 the comparison is of the removal of a &ee or a 
 hedge, than that of Pope's in a letter to Swift, 
 where he talks of his reluctance to consent to 
 the removal of a post — pshaw ! a dead post. 
 
 Our parting may, on my part, seem cruel, 
 and there are, perhaps, persons who will re- 
 gard this period in my history as culpable, and 
 the testimony of a cold and unsusceptible heart. 
 But why should tliey do so? I only abandoned 
 my children to the wide world, but not without 
 support: and, circumstanced as I then was, just 
 escaped from prison, and but little time to lose 
 or reflect, I had then every reason to congratu- 
 late myself for that abandonment, as the noblest 
 effort of my life. This conduct too, was in ac- 
 cordance with my ideas of philosophical neces- 
 sity, to which opinion I had recently became a 
 proselyte ; like in all its votaries, my thoughts 
 and actions were a series of selfishness and in- 
 consistencies. 
 
 After providing Adelaide with as much gold 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 45 
 
 as would be sufficient for all exigencies, and ad- 
 vising her to return to France, buy my pater- 
 nal estate, which, when at Dresden, I heard was 
 to be sold, and reside there with her daughters, 
 I and Scipio set off on our journey. We pas- 
 sed, to be particular, through the Orisons, and 
 over a limb of the Rhctian Alps to Como, Mi- 
 lan, Piacenza, Parma, and Pisa; in the neigh- 
 bourhood of which latter city we resolved to 
 take up our immediate residence. 
 
 One little adventure in our course deserves 
 notice, as it displays the singular worth of a 
 dumb and unpretending brute. — By this epi- 
 thet I mean a dog. 
 
 I have often, since that period, read stories 
 in the newspapers very like what I am going 
 to relate; but they only confirm the fact, and 
 could not certainly have happened before, as I 
 have read them since. 
 
 It occurred in our way over the Alps. One 
 evening, in the wildest and most desolate part 
 of the mountain, after having fixed my abode 
 at an inn, I wandered forth to take a survey of 
 the neighbouring scenery. It was moon-light 
 — Scipio was at my heels — the scenery was 
 fine — to enjoy it, what did I do? I stood still! 
 which is, you may depend upon it, the best 
 way in the world to see any thing steadily. 
 
 I remained so for half an hour, when the 
 shriek of some human creature burst upon my 
 ear. I had heard that murders and robberies 
 were common in the vicinity, and my first im- 
 pulse was to fly to the rescue of the sufferer. 
 
46 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 But Scipio, with that philosphy that always 
 marked his genius, said, ^*You had better not." 
 While we were speaking, a monstrous black dog 
 came running out of the wood, laid hold of the 
 flap of my coat, and attempted to pull me along 
 with him. I resisted. He did so again, upon 
 which I said, "No, no, my friend, no compul- 
 sion — Ever since I could write man, I hated 
 compulsion. — If you will lead, I will follow 
 you." 
 
 My reasons seemed so just, that he, like a 
 sensible dog as he was, immediately acquiesced. 
 
 He led me to a spot, where I found a man 
 alone, lying on the ground and weltering in his 
 blood. 
 
 I instantly bound up his wounds, and sent 
 Scipio to the inn to procure something like a 
 litter. 
 
 I was now left for six hours, with no other 
 companions than the wounded gentleman and 
 his dog, who were both constantly silent. 
 
 At length, Scipio re-appeared — he brought 
 with him an old and crazy kind of litter, and a 
 reinforcement of four mountaineers. The 
 wounded man still breathed, and was conveyed 
 alive to the place at which I had taken up my 
 lodging. He survived three days, during which 
 time he related the circumstances of this ad- 
 venture, which seemed to fix on his servant, 
 who was missing, the accusation of being an 
 accomplice with the murderers. After his 
 death, we saw him decently buried, and then 
 proceeded on our journey. 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 47 
 
 I have not yet finished the liistory of my dog. 
 On our arrival at Pisa I took a neat little house 
 and garden on the banks of the Arno. — We 
 had been established there but a few months, 
 when the servant of the deceased, thinking 
 himself unknown, made his appearance in Pisa. 
 The dog seeing him one day by chance in the 
 street, ran towards him with incredible swift- 
 ness, and fell upon him with savage violence 
 and ferocity. Thus assailed, all the terrors of 
 superstition, and an accusing conscience seized 
 on this devoted villain. He was immediately 
 rescued by some passengers in the street, and 
 implored their protection to the nearest magis- 
 trate. When arrived tliere, he made a full 
 confession of his crime, and was shortly after- 
 wards sentenced to sufler an ignominous death. 
 I was present at his execution, where he again 
 acknowledged his guilt, for which he seemed X.o 
 be very penitent; and concluded by saying, he 
 rejoiced in his punishment, but that I believe 
 to be a downright lie. 
 
 No power of language and words could ena- 
 ble a bystander to imagine how deep this inci- 
 dent sunk into my heart, how inextricably it 
 twisted with all the fibres of my bosom. The 
 great black dog from that moment became my 
 constant companion — his philosophy appeared 
 to equal, if not surpass, that of Scipio, my oth- 
 er attendant of like colour. 
 
 In my new abode at the end of the garden I 
 found a sort of subterraneous grotto, buried al- 
 most from human observation. The secrets of 
 
48 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 the stranger had given me a particular relish 
 for chemical persuits, in which I here employ- 
 ed myself for my amusement, accompanied by 
 the two philosophers, my black servant and 
 dog. Sometimes I could not help exhibiting 
 to my friends the wonders of my art, and those 
 extraordinary effects, which have in all ages 
 drawn upon the more eminent operators of nat- 
 ural magic the reproach of being necromancers 
 and conjurers. But on the mind of philosophy 
 these childish wonders had no effect, and I 
 verily believe that I might have exhibited my 
 whole process under their eyes, without once 
 awakening the busy liend oif curiosity in the 
 philosophical mind of either the negro or dog. 
 
 I thought myself secure, and feared no dis- 
 covery of my occupation in either of my valua- 
 ble companions; but there was one thing I did 
 not take into my calculation, against which phi- 
 losophy itself is in opposition as a broken reed 
 to the club of Hercules. My dog, I must do 
 him the justice to say, never uttered a word 
 about any thing he saw transacted in the grot- 
 to; but not such was Scipio. In a word, Scipio 
 was in love ! 
 
 Our sweet and simple mansion was distant 
 scarcely more than two hundred yards from a 
 characteristic Italian village. The donzello of 
 a little albergo in this place had caught his 
 inexperienced heart. But why do I mingle 
 these terms, when I have said, I detest jargon! 
 The reader will, I hope, excuse me, when as- 
 sured that much of the beauty of the narrative 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 49 
 
 vrould be lost without them. Here then, all his 
 cold philosophy melted away before the reful- 
 gent rays of her bright eyes, which entirely 
 thawed the frost-bound winter of his soul. 
 
 Moreover, the accomplishments of Scipio, 
 in spite of the jetty hue that stained his face, 
 had won the heart, or roused the coquetry of 
 the plump and rosy bar-maid. Bar-maid ! 
 mind these words, because I shall have a joke 
 presently which you will not understand unless 
 you do. 
 
 I soon perceived a difference in him. Cha- 
 ron, the black dog, observed my chemical ex- 
 periments with all his usual attention, but not 
 so Scipio; his erratic mind was incapable of 
 applying itself to such pursuits. Ever and anon 
 while we were busily employed, would he break 
 out in short doleful ejaculations, interspersed 
 with sighs; and thus fill up the hours I separa- 
 ted him from his charmer. These symptoms 
 quickly exposed the disease, which, as I had no 
 reason, I did not disapprove of. The conse- 
 quences, however, were fatal to both the philo- 
 phers, and alarming to myself. 
 
 In one of Scipio's visits to his fair donzella, 
 he happened incautiously to drop some very 
 remote hint of the scenes in which he had just 
 been engaged with me in my grotto. The cu- 
 riosity of the girl was strongly roused; she 
 questioned him further. He started ; and was 
 terrified to recollect what he had said, for I 
 had strictly enjoined his secrecy. However the 
 
50 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 devil, or curiosity, was up, and there was no 
 laying him. 
 
 Scipio refused any further explication. The 
 donzella (pretty word) piqued at his resistance, 
 had recourse to female arts. She wept; she cal- 
 led him base, false-hearted, and unkind. — She 
 was seized with strong fits of sobbing and hys- 
 terical affection. But in the midst of all this, 
 the philosophical Scipio was as unmoved as a 
 rock of marble. 
 
 Finding it would not do, she presently re- 
 covered from her hysterics, and endeavoured 
 to perplex him with cunning and insidious 
 questions. As the framing of artful questions 
 was the strong hold of the donzella, and she 
 might have challenged in this article the most 
 hoary practitioner of the quibbling bar — (Do 
 vou take? You know I told you she was a bar 
 7naid! J so it was exactly the weakest side on 
 which poor Scipio could be attacked. He, 
 however, is certainly not the only philosopher 
 that has fallen a sacrifice to the arts of woman. 
 She contrived to wheedle the whole account 
 from him ; and promised secrecy, it is true, but 
 she had another lover, Agostino, the ostler, to 
 whom in an hour of amorous dalliance she com- 
 municated all, and more than all she knew of 
 ray conjurations and spells. 
 
 This villanous ostler, who was a compound 
 of ignorance and malignity, immediately sought 
 every occasion to poison the minds of all the in- 
 habitants of the village to whom he had access, 
 
COUNT d'ouveau. 51 
 
 or who would listen to him. He led them to 
 believe, by his stories, that I dealt with the 
 devil, and that my servant (of whom he was 
 jealous) and the great black dog were my fa- 
 miliars. 
 
 They accused me of bewitching a cow — 
 turning aside an approaching rain-cloud, after 
 a long drought — pinching sundry infirm and 
 feeble persons with cramps and cholics, and 
 other petty ills which arc to be met with in the 
 ordinary occurrences of life. — I one day en- 
 deavoured to reason with them, but they were 
 such senseless clods, and so extremely supersti- 
 tious, that the energy of science and truth had 
 no effect on them. 
 
 To cut the matter short, for I hate to be te- 
 dious, they shot my dog. Scipio found his body 
 motionless and his joints stiff in death. The 
 poor negro, who in the innocence of his heart 
 was uninitiated in the proud distinctions by 
 which civilized man is taught to place so vast 
 a barrier between the hiunan nature and the 
 brute, w^as struck speechless with sorrow and 
 amazement. 
 
 The next, and last thing they did, of which 
 I had but just timely notice to make my escape, 
 was to set my house on fire, and murder Scipio, 
 in the most extraordinary way. They tore him 
 limb by limb, and joint by joint. The pen 
 drops from my lifeless hand on the harmless pa- 
 per! But I take it up again to say that I look- 
 ed on all this with a philosophical indifference, 
 
52 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 and turning my face towards Lucca, I pursued 
 my way by the uncertain and fitful light of my 
 consuming mansion. In other words, I ran away 
 by the light of it. 
 
 CHAP. VI. 
 
 On reaching Lucca, I found that my evil 
 genius had been busy to accumulate for me new 
 misfortunes. The intelligence of the Pisan riot 
 had reached Lucca before me. The instant I 
 was acquainted with that, I resolved to take 
 shipping for Spain, which I did, and debarked 
 at Barcelona, on the 14th, of April, 1546. 
 
 At Barcelona, I merely provided myself with 
 clothes, bought a few of their best Barcelona 
 handkerchiefs, cracked some of their best Bar- 
 celona nuts, and then proceeded to Madrid; 
 where, without meeting with any thing not be- 
 neath the importance of history, I arrived safe 
 and sound, and as merry as a grig. 
 
 I determined now, as far as human precau- 
 tion could secure its ends, to encounter no more 
 misfortunes, and certainly a wiser determina- 
 tion was never made. But, alas, what are all 
 mortal resolutions ! — Vain — Vain ! — Here the 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 53 
 
 most tremendous event in my life occurred. I 
 shall relate it circumstantially, but not so tedi- 
 ously and stupidly as I could. 
 
 During the festival of Christmas it happened 
 that I felt an inclination to be a spectator of a 
 celebrated bull-fight that was exhibited before 
 the emperor Charles V. and his court. At the 
 commencement of the spectacle I was attentive 
 only to the exhibition. It was not long, how- 
 ever, before my eye was transiently caught by 
 an individual, who sat in a gallery, at no great 
 distance, whose attention was never removed 
 from me. His countenance was truly singular. 
 His little eyes were of a fiery red, his eye- 
 brows spare, his dingy whiskers thin and shag- 
 gy, and his nose flat; his face altogether re- 
 sembling, as nearly as I can make the compari- 
 son, that of a large tom cat in a violent passion. 
 Such an appearance may seem more calculated 
 to excite laughter than any other sensation, but 
 it was quite otherwise with me. I could per- 
 ceive a contemplative grasp of thought in his 
 eyes that made me cower and quail whenever 
 I met his eye-beams. 
 
 Finding that I could not rid myself of his 
 curious and watchful observation, I withdrew 
 to another gallery on the opposite side of the 
 area. I had not been there long, when, look- 
 ing accidently round, I saw at my elbow this 
 very man, grinning at me in the most grotesque 
 and ridiculous manner. I then accosted him 
 with the inquiry, '^'^Do you know me, Sir?'^ to 
 vliich he immediately returned in Spanish* 
 5* 
 
54 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 *• JVb, Senor!^' It is very natural to suppose 
 that we had some further parley, which, in 
 fact, we had, but as I do not know any more 
 Spanish, I shall omit* it. Seeing that he still 
 viewed me with the same kind of look, which 
 frightened me most horribly, although I was 
 the Count Reginald D'Orveau, and had been a 
 great warrior, I rose, and saying, ^^ Curse your 
 grinning!" I left the theatre, and saw no more 
 of him at that time. 
 
 A few days after, however, I suddenly light- 
 ed upon him in the street. He was talking to 
 three or four of his countrymen, and in the 
 progress of his discourse frequently pointed 
 and grinned at me. I could now perceive 
 something particularly hostile and ferocious in 
 his countenance. I passed on ; he immediately 
 broke from his company and tripped after me. 
 This I determined not to endure. — So what 
 did I do, but, laying my hand on my sword, 
 with a peremptory look, I waved him to desist. 
 He then shook his head furiously, and assuming 
 a grin of diabolical malignity, turned down ano- 
 ther street. I thought this a strange sort of 
 animosity, and for which I could assign no pro- 
 bable cause but that of insanity. 
 
 I saw my tormenter but once more. It was 
 shortly afterwards, when on the point of enter- 
 ing the house, some apartments of which I oc- 
 cupied. I was particularly mortified at this 
 circumstance, for it then struck me that I had 
 seen him at Pisa, and that he was acquainted 
 with the cliaracter I had there acquired^ 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 55 
 
 Several weeks, however, had passed away, 
 and I had nearly forgotton all the circumstan- 
 ces of this not only seemingly, but really foolish 
 story, when one gloomy evening in the latter 
 end of March, my valet announced to me three 
 gentlemen who were come to visit me. It was 
 strange: I had no visitors. My time since my 
 arrival at Madrid had been principally passed 
 in cultivating the most confused and confusing 
 branches of philosophy. I indulged in no re- 
 laxation but that of the street and of public 
 places; precisely indeed as I do in London at 
 this period, where also, as at Madrid, I keep 
 little company, and for this reason — I think 
 myself of too much consequence to condescend 
 to be pleasant and agreeable, therefore very 
 few, on the terms of paying me god-like re- 
 spect, will associate with me. My conversa- 
 tion, whenever I choose to condescend so much, 
 is on Physics, which is my favourite science. 
 
 '•Do you know who they are?" said I to my 
 valet. He had not however time to reply be- 
 fore they burst into the room. They were al- 
 guazils of the inquisition. They told me their 
 errand was to conduct me to the holy oflicc. I 
 submitted, and accompanied them. 
 
 Upon entering the prison of the Inquisition, 
 I was conducted to a cell, and there suflered to 
 remain for four days, when I was brought up 
 for examination before the superior. 
 
 A variety of questions were put to me, the 
 design of which, I could perceive, wei'e artful- 
 ly framed to sift me, and commit myself, I was 
 
56 ADVENTURES OP 
 
 clearly satified of one thing, namely, that my 
 imprisonment was wholly owing to the affair at 
 Pisa. This aiforded considerable relief to me, 
 and I felt confident of being able to defeat the 
 machinations of my enemies. 
 
 The grand inquisitor next enquired particu- 
 larly about my late philosophical companions, 
 of whom I gave clear and satisfactory answers. 
 He then, amongst other very stupid questions, 
 asked me, "whether I had never caused the 
 mortality of cattle? whether I had never been 
 seen riding through the air? whether I had 
 never been wounded in my absence?'' — "What 
 an old ass!" said I, mentally, as I gave to each 
 of these s/weivd questions, a bold and positive 
 denial. It was with difficulty I could retain my 
 countenance, at the solemn gravity with which 
 they proceeded in my examination. Believing 
 my confinement would be short, I then felt as 
 though I might be disposed to humour them in 
 their inquiries respecting me, yet cautiously re- 
 fraining from giving the slightest clue by which 
 they might entrap me. 
 
 I thought they now seemed at a dead stand. 
 After a pause of considerable length, I was re- 
 conducted back to my cell ; there, I supposed to 
 await a future and more rigid examination. 
 
 At the end of three months, they ordered me 
 up before them again; when nearly the same 
 interrogatories as at first, were put to me. My 
 denial was, of course, the same as before. My 
 mind was now completely fortified by the con- 
 viction; that nothing new had been contrived 
 
57 
 
 against me, by these grave, lynx-eyed gentry; 
 and that, after detaining me a prisoner for a lit- 
 tle while longer, tliey would liberate me, with 
 exacting an oath not to divulge what had befal- 
 len me while here, followed by some kind ad- 
 monitions not to incur their displeasure, or the 
 danger of severe punishment in future. 
 
 Accordingly, I was again sent back to my 
 cell, and there remained undisturbed, I suppose 
 for more than six months, when the solemn farce 
 of a third examination was performed, nearly 
 similar to the two first; but no symptoms on 
 which I could found the hope of a speedy re- 
 lease were exhibited. 
 
 I now began to be wearied with this dilatory 
 mode of proceeding, and betrayed considerable 
 impatience; but I might have spared myself 
 that vexation, had I reflected that I was com- 
 pletely in their power: and that, W'ith them ex- 
 isted every impulse to irritate me to say or do 
 something which would produce all the advan- 
 tages they desired over me. 
 
 The grand inquisitor now made a long-wind- 
 ed speech, in which he said much about the 
 beauty and purity of the catholic religion, her- 
 esies, unlawful studies, witchcrafts, and necro- 
 mancies; but so mixed and jumbled together 
 was his whole discourse, that it seemed rather 
 calculated to bewilder and mislead, than inform 
 and improve those for whom such observations 
 were intended. 
 
 Exasperated beyond endurance, at the form- 
 al and tedious manner in which the whole pro- 
 
58 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 cess had been conducted against me, when the 
 grand inquisitor had ceased, and after a suita- 
 ble pause, I arose, and respectfully said, ^^ If it 
 is the pleasure of this venerable and august tri- 
 bunal, I beg permission to speak a few words." 
 
 *^^You may," said the grand inquisitor, ^^but 
 rememember, you are only permitted to speak 
 on the offences charged against you." 
 
 ^^I must entreat to be informed then," said 
 I, ^^ before speaking on them, in what do they 
 consist? I have been confined within these 
 walls for nearly a year, and have been examin- 
 ed at various times, concerning matters and 
 persons of which I have no knowledge whate- 
 ver. No specific charge has been preferred^ 
 and no witnesses of any kind have appeared to 
 criminate me. What the amount of my offence 
 is, I am at a loss to conceive. I therefore en- 
 treat, that an end may be put to these tedious 
 proceedings, either by my conviction, if you 
 have the proofs of any crime cognizable before 
 this tribunal, or dismissing me to liberty." 
 
 ^^Do you not know then," said the grand in- 
 quisitor, '^^the charge on which you are here 
 a prisoner? Consummate impudence! Why, 
 you are accused of Sorcery ! — of holding illicit 
 intercourse with the chief spirit of mischief, 
 and his subordinate agents — of practices sub- 
 versive of religion, law, and order!" 
 
 "^^ Indeed!" said I, affecting the utmost sur- 
 prise. ^^But, who are my accusers? Where 
 are the proofs?" 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 59 
 
 "The proofs are here/' said one of the in- 
 feriors, who, as he spoke, threw back his cowl, 
 which before had nearly concealed his face ; as 
 I turned towards him, a single glance told me 
 he was the diabolical stranger whom I had first 
 encountered at the bull-fight. A combined 
 feeling of hatred, trepidation, and dread, ran 
 through me; and, at that moment, I felt as if 
 in the presence of the arch enemy of mankind. 
 Seeing my embarrassment, with a mingled look 
 of scorn and triumph, he tossed to me a folded 
 paper, which I opened, and on running it has- 
 tily over, I found its contents were, a kind of 
 mysterious and confidential account of certain 
 chemical experiments I had formerly made at 
 Pisa, perfectly harmless in themselves, but so 
 mingled with cabalistical signs and phrases, as 
 might easily excite the jealousy and suspicion 
 of ignorance and superstition. It purported 
 to have been written by me, (though in a dis- 
 guised and strange hand) addressed to one I 
 had no knowledge of, and signed at the bottom 
 with my own proper signature. 
 
 At first I believed tiie whole to be a delusion 
 of my senses: — I looked again — a cold tremor 
 ran through my frame. — I gazed, wildly round 
 me, and beheld the bitter smile of malignity and 
 exultation in the looks of my judges: — a dizzi- 
 ness overcame me — I felt a sickness of heart — 
 and sunk lifeless on the ground. 
 
 When I recovered, I found myself lying on 
 my bed in my cell, where, it seems they had 
 conveyed me in my state of insensibility. 
 
60 ADVENTURES OP 
 
 ^^ Strange!" said I, as I lay musing on the 
 transactions of the preceding hour. " Mysteri- 
 ous, and incomprehensible! I feel as conscious 
 of never having written or signed that paper, as 
 I do of my present existence. Surely, some 
 villanous agency, moved by no common impulse 
 of ordinary hate, has contrived this scheme to 
 
 work my ruin. That diabolical wretch ! him 
 
 with the fiery-red eyes — he, no doubt, is the 
 
 prime projector. Yet, how he obtained a 
 
 knowledge of circumstances referred to in the 
 paper, is more than I have present means or 
 skill to fathom. Perhaps, it is enough to know, 
 that my persecutors will avail themselves of this 
 advantage over me, with cruel energy: all that 
 remains therefore, is, to meet the coming events 
 with manly courage and fortitude." 
 
 CHAP. VU. 
 
 I WAS aroused from my reverie, by the en- 
 trance of one of the familiars, who approached, 
 and seated himself beside me with an air and 
 look of sympathy and kindness. He eyed me 
 with much attention for some time, seeing I was 
 extremely agitated; at length he said, "Be 
 
m 
 
 COUUf'T d'ORVEA-U. 61 
 
 more composed — at least endeavour to be calm, 
 my friend.'"* 
 
 ^^Call not me friend!'' cried I, ^'liononr and 
 integrity own no fellowship or afiinity with cru- 
 elty and treachery.*' 
 
 ^^VVell then," said he, 'Misten to one, who 
 in your anger you now conceive to he an ene- 
 my ; and, be assured, he means you ueil. No- 
 thing is to be gained here by outrageous vio- 
 lence; but much by a contrary course." 
 
 ^'By duplicity and cunning, you should ra- 
 ther say." I quickly retorted. '' But you mis- 
 take me, if you suppose I will for a moment 
 stoop to arts like those. No! I despise all in- 
 tercessions, all evasions, or concessions. The 
 toils of my enemies encompass me, and my own 
 efforts will but entangle me the more. I ?mis{ 
 submit. Beyond these gloomy walls the mind 
 is free to roam: no fetters, locks, or bolts can 
 bind it. You shall see me rise superior to all 
 the arts which human ingenuity can devise, or 
 all the punishments it n^ay prepare." 
 
 ''You are not," said he, "fully aware of the 
 nature and extent of some of our punishments. 
 Admitting your frame to be stout enough to en- 
 dure many of them, they are so numerous, and 
 so various, that human life is not of sufiicient 
 extent to experience all their operations." 
 
 "Ha! ha! ha!*' burst from me, in the sudden 
 and wild exhiliration of thought. It did not at 
 first occur to me, that, I had not as yet, tasted 
 the elixir of life; but, from the secret having 
 been so long in my possession, I felt just at tlie 
 6 
 
62 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 moment as thougli I had tried, and was enjoy- 
 ing its effects. My incontroUable mirth exci- 
 ted considerable surprise in my companion; he 
 gazed at me for some time, and at length said, 
 "•Surely, you will not treat the authority and 
 punishments of the holy tribunal, with levity 
 and derision?" 
 
 ^'Certainly not." said I gravely, "Pray ex- 
 cuse me. — But, come now; you have no doubt 
 been sent here, on perhaps a kind errand. Be 
 candid; what is it?'' 
 
 ^'I came here," said he, ^•'because so com- 
 manded by the grand inquisitor, to soothe and 
 mollify your excitedand over7wrought feelings; 
 and, of myself, would urge to you tbe proprie- 
 ty and advantages of m.aking concessions to the 
 holy tribunal." 
 
 "What?" I exclaimed, "make an indirect 
 avowal of guilt? legalize a palpable forgery? 
 — No! — never!" 
 
 "A partial and modified confession," said 
 he, "may nevertheless, effect more good than 
 you seem to be aware of. Remember, means 
 may be found to authenticate your signature." 
 
 A sudden flash of thought filled my brain — 
 it might be possible — nay, 'twas even probable 
 — a blank sheet of paper whereon I had inad- 
 vertantly written my name, had by some means 
 been obtained by my enemies, (perhaps at the 
 destruction of my house in Pisa) and v/as thus 
 basely intended to be used to my injury. The 
 more I reflected on it, my suspicions were con- 
 firmed, that I was to be the victim to the fiery 
 
63 
 
 eyed stranger's rancor, enmity and hate. Yet, 
 what motive could impel him to pvirstie me with 
 such hitter malignity, it was impossible for me 
 to conceive. Full of these oppressive thoughts, 
 I desired my companion to leave me tomy own 
 meditations. 
 
 He arose to depart; when he reached the 
 door, he turned, and repeated his request, that 
 I would act with calmness and docility ; with 
 renewed assurances of ultimate advantage to 
 myself. I nodded acquiescence, and he then 
 left me. 
 
 I was exceedingly puzzled to know the mean- 
 ing of this visit of the familiar. His manner 
 was frank and kind, yet there was a something 
 about him that forbade my confidence. At all 
 events, I was resolved to he as cautious and 
 calm as my temper and circumstances would 
 permit me to remain. 
 
 The next day I was brought up before the 
 grand tribunal, and there commanded by the 
 chief inquisitor to confess my crime. 
 
 I simply answered, ^''lam still* unconscious 
 of the commission of any crime." 
 
 ""Do you then,*' said he sternly, ^'deny the 
 proofs contained in the paper produced yester- 
 day, and the consequent confusion of guilt, ex- 
 hibited on its production?*' 
 
 "Sir," I replied, "my confusion arose, not 
 from guilt, but other causes ; and, I cannot now 
 prevent its operation to my prejudice. If the 
 mere denial, however, will hasten the point at 
 
64 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 issue, I utterly disavow all knowledge of its au- 
 thor, and the manner of its origin.'^ 
 
 '^ How?'*' .said he, *^* Is not this your signa- 
 ture?" 
 
 '•My name, but not my signahtre,^^ I repli- 
 ed. '•! have reason to believe that name was 
 written by myself long before the contents of 
 the paper were artfully framed by another un- 
 known hand. Conscious of the truth, and re- 
 lying on my innocence, and the justice of this 
 awful tribunal, I now boldly and fearlessly call 
 for proofs of the authenticity of that paper." I 
 looked around full on all present, hoping to de- 
 tect in the looks of my fiery-eyed persecutor, 
 some faint symptom of shame, and at once anni- 
 hilate him : but, to my surprise and disappoint- 
 ment, he was not present. I now began to per- 
 ceive there was little room to hope for favor, 
 lenity, or even justice in my judges. 
 
 A long pause and consultation ensued, at the 
 end of which, the grand inquisitor rose, and, in 
 a loud, harsh and pompous tone, spoke to me 
 as follows. 
 
 ^'Audacious, and contumacious wretch! we 
 have borne with your humours, petulence and 
 obstinacy, beyond the usual measure of our le- 
 nity and forbearance. Your behaviour to our- 
 selves we pardon ; but, for your offences against 
 the canons of the church, we dare and will not 
 relax one tittle of their punishments. As you 
 are not, however, fully convicted of the char- 
 ges for which you are arraigned, and you still 
 persist in refusing a voluntary confession; we 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 65 
 
 order, that you be confined in solitude, there 
 to subsist on coarse and scanty fare, till a pro- 
 per sense of our mercy is awakened in you. IT 
 this should fail, remember, we have the sure 
 and efficacious punishment of torture, now only 
 withheld in mercy and compassion.*' 
 
 He waved his hand in silence, and I was im- 
 mediately led to my intended place of strict 
 confinement. This was not exactly suited to 
 my taste, but opposition or com])laint would 
 now avail me nothing. However, I still retain- 
 ed all my natural inflexibility of temper; and 
 resolved to wait the operations of time, in the 
 plausible hope, that they would at last become 
 wearied of tormenting me, or, what might suit 
 them better, find new and more tractable sub- 
 jects for the exercise of their diabolical inge- 
 nuity and hypocritical cunning. 
 . Here I remained about nine yeai*s, and find- 
 ing they did not send for me any more, I con- 
 cluded they were become indiflcrent about me, 
 and so, I might as well endeavour to try the ef- 
 fects of money on the servant who brought me 
 my food. Into his hands I resolved to put a 
 carte, blanche, that is, to bribe him until he was 
 glutted with gold. But v\ hat was my surprise 
 and grief, when on making the attempt, I learn- 
 ed that he was both deaf and dumb. Bribery 
 was here of no use. Into what a position was 
 I now! or rather into what a cursed hole was 
 I at last! What was to be done? I never had 
 been much inclined to consult the responses of 
 my understanding; they could not avail me 
 6* 
 
06 ADVENTURES OP 
 
 now, so I sat down and began blubbering like 
 a school-boyj which I think in my situation, was 
 a very fine trait of nature. 
 
 When the first violent emotions of grief had 
 somewhat subsided, I began to reflect on the 
 fatal consequences of my possessing the secret 
 for producing gold; how small a portion of re- 
 al, substantial enjoyment had it procured to me! 
 The unbounded indulgence it created and ex- 
 hibited, had almost in the outset, involved me 
 in suspicion, danger and difliculty. And though 
 it was afterwards the means of extricating me 
 from prison, yet, it would seem, that was only 
 the prelude to other and more complicated ca- 
 lamities. I now almost regretted ever having 
 been the depository of a secret which had been 
 the cause of so much disappointment, vexation, 
 and misfortune. As to the other grand mystery 
 foT* the renovation of youth, I was rather pleas- 
 ed that its operations and elTects remained still 
 untried; and, in the secret musings of my de- 
 jected mind, fearing as I did, a long and rigor- 
 ous confinement, protracted to age and infirm- 
 ity, a daik, horrid sensation seized me, which 
 at first impelled to self-destruction ; but a belter 
 feeling soon prevailed. The buoyancy of hope 
 forsook me, and left to me the bitter wish that 
 ray imprisonment and suflTerings would speedily 
 end in death. Even the stern maxims of cold 
 philosopliy failed to rouse me to a resolute and 
 dauntless frame of mind, to bear the ills that 
 gathered thickly round me; or view them with 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 67 
 
 the calm indifference of a stoic, and the sullen 
 moroscness of wretchedness and despair. 
 
 Full of sad and painful thoughts, I passed 
 weary days and sleepless nights, uncheered by 
 the sound of human voice, or light of day. 
 
 The consolations of religion too, were denied 
 me; for these had never been my study, or a 
 portion of my education in the days of youth, 
 and the sunshine of prosperity. Besides, I had 
 become a victim to the arts of those who pro- 
 fessed to be its warm supporters and defenders; 
 and, uninstructed as J then was in its precepts, 
 1 felt little dispositson to seek relief from those 
 who sought its regulation and establishment by 
 cruelty and persecution. 
 
 Notliing material occurred to interrupt my 
 dull, heavy, pestilential, soul depressing mono- 
 tony. My apathy, intellectual activity, palsy 
 of the heart, went evenly forward. I know not 
 whether I make myself ])erfectly understood, 
 but one cannot, you know, always be so clear as 
 one would wish. 
 
 If, in this situation, I had been visited by — 
 wJtal? a mouse or a rat — well! I should have 
 caught it in my arms; but not one mouse or rat 
 ])aid me a visit during my whole residence in 
 the Inquisition. The reason of this has often 
 since been the subject of my profound investiga- 
 tion; but it was not till lately that I discovered 
 a cause, which seems probably the right one. 
 Falling in by chance with a noted rat-catcher, 
 I questioned him on that head, and he told me 
 (and I hold his information good) that rats and 
 
68 ADVENTURES OP 
 
 mice, like certain men called sponges^ never 
 visit where there is nothing to eat. 
 
 I continued in this place fifty years longer, 
 making in all about sixty. I was now nearly a 
 hundred years old, when one day taking out of 
 my pocket a little snufT-box in which there was 
 a glass, I perceived that my hair was as white 
 as snow, and my face ploughed with a thousand 
 wrinkles. 
 
 I examined with dispassionate remark the 
 state of my intellect; I was fully persuaded that 
 it had subsided in childishness. My mind liad 
 been as much cribbed and immured as my body. 
 I was the mere shadow of a man, of no more 
 ])0Vver and v»'orth tliaii that which a magic lan- 
 tern produces on a wall. ^^This," crid I, ^'is 
 the operations and efTects of tyranny and bigot- 
 ry, ignorance and superstition! Here then, at 
 last, my grand career, my views and hopes, 
 must close in persecution, imprisonment, and 
 decay. Here must I sink in oblivion, a victim 
 to liollow hypocrisy and wily fraud, forgotten 
 and unknown. 
 
 Just at this time a notice was sent to the In-, 
 quisition, that, on account of a succession to the 
 throne which then happened, not a general de- 
 liverance from prison would be the consequence, 
 as might have been expected, but that a gener- 
 al burning of all the prisoners would take place. 
 
 Childish as I then was, I resolved not to stand 
 that, if possible ; and to avoid it, I formed the 
 following scheme. 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 69 
 
 I had retained about me, from the time of my 
 arrest and im])risonnicnt, my elixir of life. I 
 swallowed the — now reader, wliat do you think 
 or guess it was, which conferred immortality 
 on me? — I leave you to guess. The enjoyment 
 of its virtues depend on my secrecy. Never, 
 till now, had I f»^lt such a tingling in my veins, 
 and a sudden effect of the elixir in every joint 
 and articulation of my frame. I had before be- 
 lieved I could effect a complete renovation of 
 my frame; I now felt that I was immortal ! 
 
 I fell asleep — waking* I found all my intel- 
 lectual and bodily faculties restored. I looked 
 again in my glass, and saw I had recovered the 
 youth and beauty that distinguished me at the 
 age of twenty: — this too, I believed was to con- 
 tinue forever. — O blessed elixir! 
 
 For some time I danced about the room like 
 a madman ; but recollecting my plan of escape, 
 I immediately set about putting it into execu- 
 tion. 
 
 1 threw myself into my chair, and began a 
 most hideous howling, which I continued till I 
 had alarmed the prison. The moment the jai- 
 lor entered my cell, and saw^ me, he uttered a 
 fearful cry, and ran away as fast as he could, 
 meeting in his course with the grand inquisi- 
 tor, against w hom he ran w ith violence, and laid 
 him sprawling on the floor, at the same time 
 tumbling on him, where they both lay kicking 
 and bellowing with fright. The cause of the 
 jailor's cries at length being explained to the 
 grand inquisitor, I was brought up before himj 
 
70 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 he desired me instantly to tell what was become 
 of the old man, and who I was that appeared 
 in his clothes? 
 
 After much sobbing and crying, I fell on my 
 kneesj and told, as I said the whole truth ; viz. 
 that I was a poor peasant, living with niy moth- 
 er in France. That one day, while working in 
 the field, I was suddenly taken up in the air by 
 a being like an old man, but who, I was sure 
 was the devil — that he had changed clothes 
 with me, and then, bringing me to this place, 
 flew away threw the ceiling. 
 
 All this the grand inqusitor's superstition led 
 him firmly to believe; and taking pity on my 
 apparently deplorable case, he ordered me to 
 be well taken care of, and money to be furnish- 
 ed me to defray my expenses back to France. 
 
 CHAP. VIXX. 
 
 Immortality without liberty would be an 
 immortality of wretchedness! But with liber- 
 ty, youth, beauty, and wealth, can we conceive 
 more happiness ? I know but one thing that 
 could confer greater, and that is, for all the 
 world to think as highly, and talk as much 
 about an author's work, as he does himself! 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 71 
 
 That, indeed, would be a happiness admitting 
 of no comparison. 
 
 By the order of tlie superior I was attired in 
 decent habiliments, mounted on a mule, and, 
 with a few pistoles given me to defray my ex- 
 penses, set off on my journey home. As I jog- 
 ged on, oh, how I did chuckle and laugh in my 
 sleeve at the trick I had put u])on the old fa- 
 ther-inquisitor ! It is so delightful at all times 
 to cheat a cheat, and I had as it were, out-dev- 
 iled the devil himself. 
 
 It was now, about the year sixteen hundred, 
 and believing myself inimortal, I had plenty of 
 time on my hands. Where did I choose to go? 
 was the question. I considered for some time, 
 and at last determined, in the first place, to 
 pay a visit to my daughters and wife — but Ade- 
 laide, poor soul. must, ere this, I thought, be 
 gone the way of all flesh. If not, I was so al- 
 tered as not to be known, therefore there was 
 no danger in going. For near sixty years I had 
 not seen my idolized famHij. Nor had I any 
 means, during that period, of tranquilizing the 
 anxieties of a father. 
 
 What a multitude of adventures and inci- 
 dents might they not have encountered in the 
 space of sixty years ! What a difference must 
 sixty years have produced in the very persons 
 and figures of creatures so young! With what 
 mingled and exquisite emotion must a liither — 
 but I will not anticipate! 
 
 After this resolution, full of that paternal 
 ajfection and tender7icss which had always dis- 
 
72 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 tinguished me, I embraced the nearest route 
 through Navarre, and over the Pyrenees to 
 the banks of the Garonne. Over the Pyrenean 
 mountains, according to my Gazetteer, are five 
 passages, all said to be extremely difficult; but 
 I cannot say I found them so, for my mule trot- 
 ted over with great ease, and we reached the 
 south of France without any accident worth re- 
 lating. 
 
 The first thing I did here, was to equip my- 
 self in a mean habit, part with jny mule, and 
 assume the character of a pedlar, travelling 
 through the country for the sale of his com- 
 modities. This disguise concealed my figure 
 so well, that it could not possibly be recollect- 
 ed from the picture produced by it in any one's 
 intellectual retina. In this shape, then, I pro- 
 posed, on foot, for the sake of variety, to mea- 
 sure the rest of the way to my lovely treasures. 
 
 Towards the end of a very hot day, which 
 succeeded the assumption of my disguise, as I 
 was trudging along enjoying my mental elastici- 
 ty, I suddenly stumbled on a kind of house of 
 refreshment exactly calculated for travellers of 
 my apparent description. I entered without 
 ceremony ; but presently found that my appear- 
 ance was considered as a disagreeable intrusion. 
 
 Three men, who seemed, according to their 
 dress, mountaineers, and the host and his wife, 
 were sitting at a little round table. They all 
 looked at me as I came in with an air of unea- 
 siness; and from their manner I could perceive 
 that they feared I should be the cause of their 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 73 
 
 amusement, of some kind or other, being sus- 
 pended. Seeing this, I resolved instantly to 
 undeceive them, and let them know that I was 
 ready to partake and promote any entertain- 
 ments they were pursuing when I arrived. 
 
 "Gentlemen," said I, with a smiling counte- 
 nance, "pray do not let my coming throw a 
 damp upon your merriment. Whatever was 
 your pleasure, let it continue; and if you think 
 I can add to it, let me be one of your party." 
 
 My pleasant way of adressing tliem dispelled 
 all their fears, and laughing, the host, a merry 
 looking little fellow, told me. that they had 
 been amusing one another with stories about 
 ghosts and goblins, and, said he, '* You know 
 that though we all like to listen to such tales, 
 we do not like to be caught at it. Now when 
 you entered, that gentleman with the red mus- 
 taches had raised our expectation to the verv 
 highest ])itch, by an account of a ghost that ap- 
 peared in a certain family, regularly every dav 
 at dinner-time, ate up every thing on the table, 
 drank three bottles of wine, and then pocket- 
 ing all the silver spoons, disappeared. The end 
 of this we were afraid your coin])any would pre- 
 vent, and so torture our curiosity."' 
 
 "By no means!" said I, drawing my chair 
 close to the table, " I beg you will proceed, sir. 
 Ghosts! faith, I like ghosts above all things; but 
 in truth I should not much like such a one as 
 you mention to haunt my house. Pray go on, 
 sir." addressing myself to the story-teller. 
 
74 ADVENTURES OP 
 
 The mountaineer now finished his story, by 
 briefly saying, that in- time this guttling ghost 
 was discovered to be an old cast-off servant, 
 who, relying on the superstition of the family, 
 which was excessive, had paid them these cost- 
 ly visits. 
 
 Joining loud in the general laugh which this 
 explanation occasioned, and each taking a glass 
 of an exellent Spanish wine of a Burgundy fla- 
 vour, called Roussillon, that was on the table, 
 which finished the bottle, we began to be quite 
 intimate and pleased with one another. 
 
 It may surprise some, that I should call Rous- 
 sillon a Spanish wine, but they should recollect 
 that Roussillon, at the time I am talking of, be- 
 longed to Spain, and was only ceded to France 
 by the treaty of the Pyrenees in 1659. 
 
 Perceiving that our wine was out, I desired 
 the host to bring us more; and to prove to him 
 that I did not call so lustily without being able 
 to pay for it, I incautiously drew from my 
 pocket a long purse full of money, which I 
 constantly carried there, and threw two pis- 
 toles on the table. The mountaineers, I ob- 
 served, at the same time cast a wistful look at 
 my purse, but being under no apprehension 
 about money, I took no notice of it; but in my 
 turn, and to shew that I did not dislike their 
 amusement, told my ghostly tale. 
 
 Several others followed, each endeavouring 
 to tell one more horrible and terrific than the 
 preceding. Indeed we seemed to have made 
 a league to frighten one another. The stran- 
 
gers, I saw, drew closer and closer together, 
 and pale and gasping for breath, hung over 
 the speaker, wliile lie proceeded lo the end of 
 his story. At lengtli Le Noble, the liost, tak- 
 ing up a glass, cried, '^'Come, let us have done 
 now with real ghosts. We have talked of them, 
 I see, till there is scarcely a man in tiie room 
 that dares look behind him. Til tell you a fact 
 of a sham ghost that happened a few months ago 
 in a village not many miles from hence. What 
 say you?'' 
 
 This offer was readily accepted ; and, as his 
 story is so simple, and so much of a piece with 
 every thing I have hitherto related, I shall beg 
 leave to add it, by way of a little episode, for 
 the entertainment or instruction, one, both, or 
 neither, of the reader, just as it may turn out. 
 
 CHAP. IX. 
 
 Le Noble's Story.* 
 
 Monsieur Capricorne, a native of Mont- 
 pellier, had confined his whole life to the study 
 of astrology, an art for which all the world, in 
 public, pique themselv cs on shewing their con- 
 tempt, although in private there are few en- 
 tirely exempt from the weakness of believing 
 
 * I could have given this narralion in Le Noble's words, but I 
 imagined the generality of readers would be better pleased to 
 see it, with all its imperfections, in Enghsh. 
 
76 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 ill it. This profession, however, being little 
 calculated to lead to wealth, the great foretel- 
 ler of other people's fortune possessed but a 
 very trifling one himself. 
 
 All his riches were comprised in the move- 
 ables of a house he occupied in town, a library 
 of some magnitude, a cottage at Vitri, to which 
 he often retired to make his experiments, and 
 an income of five hundred livres. With this 
 added to the small product of his art, he sup- 
 ported, in a decent manner, himself, Gertrude, 
 an old female servant, who had long superin- 
 tended his domestic affairs, and a daughter, a 
 charming girl, about one and twenty, the only 
 remaining pledge of the love that had subsisted 
 between him and his departed wife. 
 
 He had, with the greatest exactness, drawn 
 the figure of his child, cast her nativity, form- 
 ed a diagram of the aspect of the astrological 
 houses, contemplated narrowly the configura- 
 tion of the planets at the hour of her birth, and 
 A'crified them in so many ways, that having 
 brought them to mathematical accuracy, anxi 
 computed all their directions and revolutions, 
 he announced publicly that she was born to 
 possess great riches. Presuming on this phan- 
 tasma of his imagination, he had, in the last four 
 years, refused several very advantageous offers, 
 to the great displeasure of his daughter, who, 
 since the age of fifteen, had conceived herself 
 perfectly fitted to compose one half of a family 
 establishment. Our astrologer's mode of pro- 
 ceeding was briefly this. The instant any per- 
 
COUNT D ORVEAU. 77 
 
 son made an overture, he inquired tl\e hour ol" 
 his birth and drew liis figure, and when the 
 stars did not promise him what he expected, 
 he dismissed the inamorata without any further 
 reason. 
 
 In the neighbouring town of Bazas lived a 
 Monsieur Bouflbnct, a man as madly attached 
 to Helicon as Mr. Capricorne was to the Zodi- 
 ac. This poet, a greater fool by several grains 
 than the astrologer, was also richer by many 
 pounds; for, although there is a kind of irre- 
 concileable insociability between the heights of 
 Parnassus and the mines of Peru, Mr. Bouifo- 
 net had, at fifty years of age, inherited from a 
 rich banker, whose only heir he was, a fortune 
 of twenty thousand crowns. He had, conse- 
 quently, forsaken his obscure abode and beta- 
 ken himself to Paris, there to shine with all the 
 splendour of poetical genius. 
 
 He had seen Miss Enuneline, the daughter 
 of Mr. Capricorne, and felt his heart inflamed 
 with the most unextinguishable passion that 
 ever filled the amourous lays of the wildest po- 
 et. The following day he commenced his at- 
 tack, with two madrigals, an acrostic, six stan- 
 zas, a poetical epistle, twelve epigrams, and a 
 sonnet, the forerunners of a solemn declaration 
 of his love. He then informed himself respect- 
 ing the ftither, and hearing that the first cere- 
 mony of those who presented themselves to him 
 on this occasion, was to declare the hour of their 
 birth, he took the first he thought of, not know- 
 ing the exact one, and waited on the old gep- 
 7* 
 
78 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 tleman. Fortunately for him, the hour he had 
 fixed upon proved to tally so precisely with 
 the expectations of our astrologer, that he be- 
 lieved heaven had sent Mr. Bouifonet from 
 Bazas, for the express purpose of accomplish- 
 ing and fulfilling what he had predicted of his 
 daughter's fortune, and, under this impression, 
 he received him with a cordial welcome. 
 
 Emmeline, however, was very far from ap- 
 proving of her father's choice. Amongst those 
 whom he had rejected, there was a youth, cal- 
 led La Grange, whose father, a lawyer, had left 
 liim in very moderate circumstances, but who 
 expected a considerable property at the demise 
 of a rich old aunt. 
 
 This young man lodged within a stone's 
 throw of tlie astrologer. — He was well made, 
 handsome, and desperately in love with Em- 
 meline. Her duty to her father weighed in 
 (ler heart for some time against the reciprocal 
 affection she felt for La Grange; but the good 
 old Gertrude, who had brought her up from a 
 child, knew her disposition and wants, and, dis- 
 liking Mr. Capricorne's refusal of so many eli- 
 gible lovers, assisted her with counsel she was 
 vary ready to take, dismissed all her scruples, 
 and, as mediator and confidante, introduced La 
 (irange into the house whenever an opportuni- 
 ty offered, to enjoy a delicious tete a tete with 
 his dear Emmeline. 
 
 Things were in this train, when the astrolo- 
 ger, delighted and infatuated with the poet's 
 horoscope, which, he said, he had rectified and 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 79 
 
 found just, according to past accidents, told his 
 daughter, that he was resolved to make him her 
 husband. 
 
 This terrible fiat was soon announced to La 
 Orange, and he, old Gertrude, and Emmeline, 
 being assembled to take it into serious consid- 
 eration, and to determine on what could be 
 done, Gertrude advised that Emmeline should 
 tell her ftither candidly, that since he had re- 
 jected twenty good offers, she ought at least to 
 have the liberty of refusing one. '''This refu- 
 sal,*' said she, ''will totally ruin Mr. Capri- 
 corne's project, and, in the mean time, we must 
 endeavour to invent some stratagem to bring 
 him to his reason, or, at any rate, to bring him 
 to consent to your marriage."' 
 
 What seemed to be a great impediment was, 
 that the poet was well furnished with that with 
 which Mr. Capricorne was nearly unfurnished ; 
 viz. cash. However, after a long rumination, 
 Gertrude conceived the following stratagem, 
 which being deemed the best, was consequent- 
 ly adopted. 
 
 It was Gertrude's counsel, as the evil pro- 
 ceeded from the two follies, the one of the as- 
 trologer and the other of the poet, to oppose 
 them both by a third, and that, to this end, 
 Emmeline should feign the fool, and La Grange 
 raise a report of his death, upon such grounds 
 as to leave no doubt of it in the mind of Mr. 
 Capricorne. The rest was to be trusted to her 
 management, and she promised, from the whole, 
 to form a snare from which they should not be 
 
80 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 able to escape ; and her scheme, she added, in- 
 stead of preventing their meeting, would be 
 the means of their seeing each other oftener, 
 and with less danger. 
 
 Having made this resolution, the next day 
 La Grange fell ill, took to his bed, pretended 
 to feel strange and excruciating pains, and beg- 
 ged to see the astrologer. He visited him, and 
 the other, as if he had the most implicit faith 
 in his art, requested him to exercise it without 
 flattery, since he was almost convinced that 
 nothing but a miracle could save him. 
 
 Mr. Capricorne drew a variety of figures, 
 and finding them of an alarming nature, he 
 announced, not only an evident peril, but cer- 
 tain death in two days, and desired him, grave- 
 ly, to prepare for the awful period of dissolu- 
 tion. 
 
 La Grange followed this prophecy with the 
 greatest fidelity, and, at the exact hour pre- 
 dicted, gave up the ghost. A friend, at whose 
 house he was concealed, prepared a coffin, fil- 
 led it with rubbish, nailed it down, and carried 
 it to be buried with the accustomed ceremony, 
 at which the astrologer attended, and quickly 
 published, throughout the country, that he had 
 foretold this death long before it happened, 
 even the very day and hour, and acquired great 
 fame by it for his science. 
 
 Emmeline no sooner heard of the death of La 
 Grange than she began to perform her part. A 
 number of diagrams, figures, &c. which had 
 cost her father many hours of lost time, she tore 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 81 
 
 to pieces in his presence, as a proof of her de- 
 rangement. Slie filled the house with her ra- 
 vings, which continued to increase so rapidly 
 that, at the end of three days, she was an ac- 
 knowledged idiot; that is to' say, very wise 
 when with Gertrude and La Grange, hut ex- 
 travagant and wild before her father and the 
 poet, on the latter of whom she smartly exer- 
 cised a cane, whenever he paid her a visit. 
 
 The first distribution of these baculary influ- 
 ences, (more sure than those of the stars,) only 
 served as matter for the poet's muse, but, being 
 often repeated, they became by no means agree- 
 able, and much mortified his passion. 
 
 The astrologer and he had made a mutual 
 promise, this to give his daughter, and that to 
 espouse her, or forfeit five hundred crowns. 
 Now Mr. Capricorne wished Mr. Boufibnet to 
 marry his daughter in her actual state, or pay 
 the forfeit of his bond : and the poet, in his de- 
 fence, advanced her madness as an excuse, con- 
 senting to take her, however, if she should re- 
 cover her senses, but certainly not in her pres- 
 ent condition, with the disposition she had man- 
 ifested towards him. 
 
 The lovers saw each other now almost every 
 day, by the help of Gertrude, who conducted 
 the afl'air with inimitable prudence, and per- 
 ceived, with pleasure, that every thing tended 
 insensibly to the end proposed. 
 
 Mr. Boufibnet hearing, at this crisis, of a 
 physician who advertised that he had an infal- 
 
82 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 lible remedy for madness, sent to him, and, with 
 the astrologer's permission, brought him to his 
 house. 
 
 The patient was at the moment lolling in an 
 arm chair, pretending to be in a lethargic con- 
 vulsion, and holding a stick negligently in her 
 hand. The doctor took his seat on her right, 
 the poet on her left, and the astrologer and Ger- 
 trude stood at some distance. 
 
 The doctor felt her pulse, examined the 
 symptoms of the convulsive movement, and, af- 
 ter all this preamble, said, that having observ- 
 ed the motions of the convulsion, he could re- 
 cognize that they were occasioned by the gross 
 vapours which from the inferiour parts of the 
 intestines came and concentrated themselves in 
 the cavities of the brain, and brought there 
 with them some fuliginous matter, w^hich they 
 had gathered in the diaphragm. That, besides, 
 the intermittent beating of the pulse denoted 
 visibly that there was an opilation in the veins 
 which carried the blood to the ventricles of the 
 heart, and that this opilation interrupted the 
 measure of the systole and diastole ; that is to 
 say, (for, unlike most of my fellow practition- 
 ers, I like, said he, to explain my terms, and 
 render myself perfectly intelligible,) the con- 
 traction and dilatation of the heart. That, in 
 fine, the lethargic repose, which proceeds from 
 the soporiferous humours engendered by the 
 denseness of the vapours, prognosticated that 
 there was a narcotic ferment dispersed through- 
 out the whole mass of the blood, which left him 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 83 
 
 no hesitation to say, having well weighed all 
 the appearances, that the patient was non com- 
 pos mentis, in other words, mad. 
 
 "Mad! I mad?'' cried Emmeline starting 
 up, and laying about her to the right and left, 
 on the shoulders of the physician and the poet 
 with so much alertness, that each had received 
 a dozen smart strokes before the father per- 
 ceived what she was about ; and when he of- 
 fered to interpose, the good Gertrude prevent- 
 ed him, saying she could not think of letting 
 him run the risk of receiving a blow from his 
 daughter. 
 
 The catastrophe of this scene made the poet 
 resolve, once for all, to beat a retreat. — He de- 
 clared he would as soon marry Tisiphone, who 
 whips the little. devils about in hell, as such a 
 woman. Mr. Capricornc then demanded the 
 five hundred crowns, of which Gertrude whis- 
 pered him not to bate a tittle, and they at 
 length parted with the astrologer's threaten- 
 ing to prosecute him for the money, though all 
 the stars in heaven should assure him that he 
 should lose his cause. 
 
 Gertrude now thought the time was come to 
 put the finishing touch to her scheme, for it was 
 not enough to induce the astrologer to break 
 with the poet, it was also necessary to prevail 
 on him to give his daughter to La Grange. 
 Taking a proper opportunity to talk to Mr. 
 Capricorne on the subject of his child's mala- 
 dy, she, after much prefatory matter, at last 
 
84 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 conducted him to the point she had in view ; 
 when she thus addressed him : 
 
 ^^The excellence of your science, sir, can- 
 not be doubted, but do you not perceive that it 
 wholly turns on the figure, while the thoughts 
 of a daughter are entirely bent on the reality. 
 If poor Miss Emmeline is in an unhappy state, 
 is it not your fault? Have not your predictions 
 deprived the good Mr. La Grange of his life, 
 and your daughter of her wits? They loved 
 each other like any turtle doves; you frowned 
 upon their passion; he died with grief, and 
 your child no sooner heard of it than she be- 
 came distracted. But the evil does not end 
 here, for to fill up the measure of our misfor- 
 tune, for the last five or six days his ghost has 
 regularly every night appeared in her bed- 
 chamber, and Oh! if you could see how in the 
 transports of her raving imagination she em- 
 braces and hugs his poor ghost, you could not 
 but regret not having consented to their union." 
 
 ^^Eh! What!" cried Mr, Capricorne sta- 
 ring, ^Hiis ghost appear to my daughter? Arc 
 you sure of it? Well, then I must see it, for I 
 never saw a ghost in my days, and I long to see 
 one above all things. I have a thousand ques- 
 tions to ask, and amongst others, I wish very 
 much to know for certain, whether it is the sua 
 or the earth that turns round.''* 
 
 ♦ The reader will be pleased to observe, that about this period 
 Copernicus, in his work de revnhitionibicn orbhtm Ccelestium, had 
 revived and Improved the Pythagorean system, which taught, in 
 opposition to the Ptolemaic, that the earth revolved round the 
 
cotJNT d'orveau. 85 
 
 ^^ Neither so much as your head!'' replied 
 Gertrude. ^'^But wliat if it sliould revenge its 
 death upon you, and tear you to atoms? How- 
 ever, if you are determined on it, I'll tell you 
 what you must do. I have a prayer against 
 spirits, which was given to me by my uncle, the 
 Cure ; we'll conceal ourselves till it appears, 
 and then I'll say over the prayer in an audible 
 voice, and you'll have notliing to fear.'' 
 
 •^'That's well thought of,'' said the astrolo- 
 ger, "and you know there's a little closet in 
 my daughter's chamber, wherein we can hide 
 ourselves." 
 
 The afiliir being so far settled, away posted 
 Gertrude to prepare the lovers. 
 
 Eninicline went to bed, partly dressed, at her 
 usual hour, leaving her candle burning on the 
 tabic ; the ghost was concealed in a contiguous 
 room, wrapped u]) in a sheet as if he had just 
 arisen from his cofiin, and the astrologer with 
 old Gertrude stood sentry in the closet. 
 
 In about a quarter of an hour after Emmelinc 
 
 was in bed, the ffhost with a violent rumblinfc 
 .... "- 
 
 noise issued from his hiding piace, and open- 
 ing the curtains of the bed, he, with a hollow 
 voice, called three times, "Emmeline! Emme- 
 linc! Enimcline!" 
 
 I shall not attempt to describe the terror and 
 palpitation of Mr. Capricorne. — He crowded 
 
 sunn A' 11 as round lis own axis. Many, long- after, however, 
 tliroi 1 ii^norancc an'l ol)slin:icv, ctiiitended in fa\our of the ab- 
 surd i< ines of Ptolemy and Txclio. 
 
 Tl. • prevent any cavils detrimental to this authentic story- 
 
 8 
 
86 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 close to Gertrude^ whilst the perspiration ran 
 down his face in torrents, and his respiration 
 being broken, was coii-verted into sighs. ^^Say 
 — Say the prayer — Say it, my dear Gertrude, 
 say it quick,'' he stuttered. 
 
 Gertrude mumbled over some words, when, 
 at the call of the ghost, Emmeline jumped up, 
 threw her arms round his neck, said a thousand 
 tender things to him, and at last invited him to 
 partake of her bed. 
 
 But the ghost assuming a graver air, and 
 pushing her from him, said with a voice that 
 seemed to come from the sepulchre — "O!!! 
 touch me not! Thy father has been my death, 
 but he shall be punished. Hast thou told him, 
 what I have oft repeated, that it is in his pow- 
 er to restore me to light and life ; and that my 
 soul will have permission to re-animate my bo- 
 dy, if he consent to my marrying thee? Thus, 
 and thus alone, can he repair the w^rong he has 
 doriC me, terminate the torments I am obliged 
 to inflict on thee, and prevent those I have in 
 store for him!*' 
 
 At each word uttered by the ghost, a foun- 
 tain of perspiration poured from every limb of 
 the afTrighted Capricorne. His curiosity re- 
 specting the motion of the earth was at an 
 end. Pressing close to his companion, he said, 
 *^ What, what shall I do, dear Gertrude? What 
 shall I do? Say over your prayer, — cpiick, 
 quick, or it's all over with me! Why doji't you 
 speak? What shall I do?" 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 87 
 
 '^A pretty question!" she replied. ^"^Step 
 out, to be sure, and tell him that you consent 
 to the marriage, — that's all he wants.*' 
 
 '^^ Consent! ah, that I will with all my soul,*' 
 said he; '"but as to stepping out, not for the 
 world! You who have no fear of spirits, do you 
 go and tell him whatever you think will ap- 
 pease him.*' Gertrude obeyed, and after ask- 
 ing permission on her knees to approach the 
 ghost, and making it promise not to hurt her, 
 she executed her embassy. But it replied, 
 *^No! ! He must come himself, or by all my 
 
 injuries I swear I " "Oh, 
 
 pray," cried Gertrude, "pray don't swear, — 
 don't swear, and Fll go and bring him to you 
 directly." 
 
 She now drew Mr. Capricorne from his hole 
 more dead than alive. He threw himself on 
 his knees before La Grange, and without daring 
 to look in his face, promised to agree to what- 
 ever he desired. 
 
 '^ I will not take thy word !" said he. "Ger- 
 trude! here in my bosom thou wilt find a pa- 
 per, draw it forth, and let him sign it. I em- 
 ployed one of the greatest lawyers that ever 
 breathed (now in purgatory) to make it fast and 
 binding! Sign ! !" 
 
 The old woman presently took out the pa- 
 per, a contract already prepared, which the 
 astrologer signed without hesitation. 
 
 "A part of what is to be done, is done!" 
 said La Grange. " But I shall not revive un- 
 til thou hast unburthened me of this winding- 
 
88 ADVENTURES O? 
 
 sheet, and placed thy daughter's hand in mine, 
 when I shall resuscitate, and then we will per- 
 form the rest of the ceremony." 
 
 Capricorne and Gertrude straight set about 
 undressing this living corse, who then appear- 
 ed in a light undress, and was led to the bed 
 side, where they placed his hand in that of Em- 
 meline, who immediately arose, and fell in his 
 arms. La Grange heaved a deep sigh, and ex- 
 claimed, ^'^Ah!! heaven be praised, I revive! 
 thanks, good Mr. Capricorne, a thousand 
 thanks; we will now proceed to solemnize our 
 union, by the assistance of a priest. Adieu ! 
 good night, Mr. Capricorne." 
 
 CHAP. X. 
 
 The host having concluded his story, to the 
 great satisfaction of the company, and the last 
 bottle of Roussillon being finished, I rose, and 
 declared my intention to pursue my journey. 
 
 I had scarcely uttered the words, before the 
 mountaineers, looking at each other, started up 
 at the same moment, and the gentleman with 
 the red mustaches, pretending to be fuddled, 
 (for so I afterwards discovered) s\vore by the 
 Virgin that he would accompany me part of the 
 way 5 that I was a pleasant felloW; and that we 
 
COUNT d'ouveau. 89 
 
 should have another drop of the juice at the 
 next place we came to, and tlicii part. 
 
 To this I could not object, but considering it 
 as a kindness, I took up my merchandize, bade 
 the host and his wife farewell, and we set off 
 merrily together. It was then about eight in 
 the evening, tlie sun declining beneath the ho- 
 I'izo.i and the air cool and refreshing. Talking 
 about various things, we proceeded nearly a 
 mile and a half, wlien coming to ratiicr a se- 
 questered place at the foot of a hill, they all 
 three fell upon me, knocked me down, robbed 
 and killed me — that is, as they thought, for 
 they gave me above a dozen mortal stabs — But 
 what are mortal stabs to an immortal ! — Noth- 
 ing; and I merely shammed dead, that they 
 might leave off thumping and sticking me. 
 
 After they were gone, I could not help think- 
 ing that I vastly resembled Homer's gods. I 
 possessed their immortality, with all the follies 
 and vices of man. There was this difference 
 between us, it is true, that they eat no meat 
 and drink no wine, both of which I did abun- 
 dantly. By the bye, mayn't the black unne 
 spoken of by Homer, be a cant ])hrase in Olym- 
 pus for pointy as on earth we often call it black 
 strap ? 
 
 This may appear an odd place for these acute 
 criticis7ns, but I would have the reader know, 
 that I suffered no pain from my stabs, and con- 
 tinued my learned remarks in consequence of 
 them in the following manner. 
 
 8* 
 
90 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 I put my hand to the wounds, and felt a cer- 
 tain liquor trickling from them, it was not 
 blood, but icho7^, such as flows from the bles- 
 sed gods ; sucli as fell from the hand of Venus 
 when wounded by Diomede, and such as gush- 
 fd from Mars when the same hero wounded 
 him in the belly, and sent him howling to 
 Olympus: — 
 
 "Mean while (his conquest ravish'd from his eyes^ 
 The raging- chief in chace of Venus flies: 
 No goddess she commissioned to the field. 
 Like Pallas dreadful with her sable shield. 
 Or fierce Uellona thund'iing at the wall, 
 AVhile flames ascend, and mighty ruins fall; 
 He knew soft combats suit the tender dame. 
 New to the field, and still a foe to fame. 
 Thro' breaking ranks his furious course he bends. 
 And at the goJdess his broad lance extends; 
 Thro' her bright veil the daring weapon drove, 
 Th' ambrosial veil, which all the Graces wove; 
 Her snowy hand the razing steel profan'd. 
 And the transparent skin with crimson stain'd. 
 From the clear vein a stream immortal flow'd. 
 Such stream as issues from a wounded god : 
 Pure emanation ! uncorrupted flood ; 
 Unlike our gross, diseas'd, terrestrial blood : 
 (For not the bread of man their life sustains, 
 Nor wine's inflaming juice suplies their veins). 
 With tender shrieks the goddess fiU'd the place. 
 And dropt her offspring from her weak embrace. 
 Him Phoebus took : he cast a cloud around 
 The fainting chief, and wards the moi"tal wound. 
 Then with a voice that shook the vaulted skies, 
 The king insults the goddess as she flies, 
 111 with Jove's daughter bloody fights agree. 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 91 
 
 The field of combat is no scene for thee : 
 
 Go, let thy own soft sex employ thy care, 
 
 Go kill the cow aril, or delude the fair. 
 
 Taught by this stroke, renounce the war's alarms. 
 
 And learn to ti-emble at the name of arms. 
 
 Tydides thus. The goddess, seiz'd with dread, 
 Confus'd, distracted, from the conflict fled." 
 
 Iliad, b. 5. 1. 407—440. 
 
 To know how to cure wounds speedily is a 
 desirable kuowlcdge, and I wish I could give 
 the reader as much information respecting oth- 
 er wounds, as I can respecting my own. — But 
 what I am able, I will. — Nothing can be more 
 easy than the remedy I used — 'twas simply this 
 — I wiped away the ichor, and they were cu- 
 red.* 
 
 Well, having settled all these points in my 
 own mind, I took up my ware, which the rob- 
 bers had not thought worth taking away, and 
 damning the rascals for dirtying my cloaths, I 
 proceeded to the village at which I intended 
 to take up my abode for the night. It was not 
 above a league and a half distant, and in little 
 more than an hour I came within sight of it. 
 
 It was then growing very dusky, and the 
 clouds coming over, portended rain, I hasten- 
 ed my steps. As I approached the little ham- 
 let at which I was to sleep, I perceived that it 
 was lit up either by lamps or a rousing fire; 
 and presently as I came nearer, I heard a con- 
 fused uproar of broad-faced, obstreperous mirth 
 
 ♦what a pity it is that our Surgeons do not study Homer forr 
 the cure of wounds ! 
 
92 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 and jollity. At length arriving, I thought, be- 
 fore I entered, I might as well take a peep 
 through the lattice and see what sort of com- 
 pany I was likely to join. 
 
 Heaven defend me! who should be sitting 
 there, comfortably before a fine wood fire, but 
 the three infernal villains who had robbed, and 
 according to their best intentions, murdered 
 me. Some people would have run away, but 
 I saw it was going to be a bad night, and hav- 
 ing walked sufliciently that day, I resolved to 
 make them turn out and leave me there to rest. 
 
 I knew they were murderers in their hearts, 
 and consequently afraid of every thing, but 
 especially of ghosts, which I gathered from 
 their conduct during the time we had spent to- 
 gether with the host and his wife. I had told 
 them that I was coming to this very house, but 
 they thinking they had left me 
 
 —— " Safe in a ditch ■ — 
 
 With twenty trenched gashes on my head. 
 The least a death to Nature," 
 
 did not fear my coming, and had betaken them- 
 selves here in my stead. All these circumstan- 
 ces determined me to appear suddenly among 
 them, and try the effect. Some chalk was ea- 
 sily procured — with this I rubbed my cheeks 
 and forehead ; then getting over a slight paling, 
 I went round, and entering the house by a back 
 door, stood unexpectedly before them. The 
 moment the red-whiskered gentleman fixed his 
 eyes on me, he hung his lower jaw almost to the 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 93 
 
 waistband of his breeches, extending his eyes, 
 and, in a fit of trcml)ling, moved rapidly to- 
 wards the door. Tlie others were presently sei- 
 zed with the same symptoms. — I kept a still, 
 stiff, formal posture — and in about forty seconds 
 after my appearance, they had all reached the 
 door, and then set off as if the devil himself was 
 at their heels. 
 
 Nobody now remained in the house but my- 
 self and the old woman who kept it, and had 
 been sitting with my friends the mountaineers. 
 She had viewed every thing that had passed 
 with considerable astonishment, but being inno- 
 cent of ever having done me, or perhaps any 
 one, any injury, she had taken me for no ghost, 
 and could not conceive the meaning of the very 
 strange conduct she had witnessed. 
 
 This I explained to her perfect satisfaction 
 in every point but one. ^'^ Robbed, my friend!" 
 said she; ^^but if you have been robbed, pray 
 how do you mean to pay for your night's lodg- 
 ing?" 
 
 The question was natural ; but I soon quiet- 
 ed her on that head, by saying that I had not 
 been robbed of all my money; and to prove it, 
 I, with the same facility as I had done' it at Con- 
 stance to the jailor, produced enough to dis- 
 charge the most exorbitant demand she could 
 make. After this we barricadoed the doors, 
 and before I went to bed I had the pleasure to 
 hear the storm come on in a most furious man- 
 ner, and leaving it to heaven to revenge my 
 wrongs, I slept soundly till the morning. 
 
94 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 Next morning I arose with the lark, and pur- 
 sued my journey — my last day's journey. 
 
 It was in the close of a fine summer's day, in 
 the gay and cheerful month of June, that I 
 viewed from a distance the turrets of D'Or- 
 veau. I procured myself accomodations for the 
 night in the adjoining village. Being now, af- 
 ter so long an absence, within reach of the resi- 
 dence of these lovely treasni^es, I sought, with- 
 out any direct consciousness of the sentiment, to 
 delay our interview. I longed most fervently 
 to be informed of the welfare of my daughters, 
 yet I could have died sooner than utter a sin- 
 gle question on the subject.* I felt, to be plain 
 and clear, a dull, fearful, awestruck, motionless 
 anxiety. 
 
 I made no inquiry about them, but quietly 
 enjoyed the refined and rich meat of anticipa- 
 tion and uncertainty. 
 
 Before the morning's dawn, I walked forth, 
 and turned my eyes towards the castle. I loi- 
 tered from bank to bank, and from point to 
 point. Day slowly broke in (or rather broke 
 out) upon me, but all was silent and quiet in my 
 paternal chateau. Upon which I said to my- 
 self, and I admire the saying as one of the most 
 beautifully simple and natural I ever uttered, 
 ^•The family is not yet stirring." 
 
 I now turned my steps to the spot where the 
 ashes of my mother were mingled with their 
 parent earth, and knowing I should meet her 
 shade there, I resolved to salute it. But Oh, 
 5weet reader, what was I doomed to see in this 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 95 
 
 repository of the dead ! Oh ! overwhelming 
 mode of learning the sad, painful intelligence. 
 
 Near my mother's tomb, stood that of my 
 Adelaide. — I could have wept, but casting my 
 eye by chance on the words written thereon, I 
 read that she died in child-bed, according to the 
 date, two years after I left her. I stopped my 
 coming tears, and, determined to know the 
 worst, passed on to the next monument. This, 
 thougii it covered the remains of one I never 
 knew, touched all the pulses of my soul. On 
 this, I was surprised to find some verses inscrib- 
 ed in English, and composed by my little Mar- 
 guerite. 
 
 In my youth I had learned English at Paris, 
 and, while living at Constance, had instructed 
 little Marguerite in the rudiments of that 
 tongue. But she since had a better master, in 
 an English lover — Love has indeed a wonder- 
 ful fiicility in promoting the knowledge of lan- 
 guage in a woman ; and under his tuition she 
 had made a great proficiency. Her instructor's 
 tomb was now the object of my contemplation. 
 The cause of his death I afterwards learned; it 
 was this. — He was a young Englishman of ftim- 
 ily and fortune, who was travelling for amuse- 
 ment and information, when he saw and fell 
 desperately in love witli my little Marguerite. 
 She sympathised and encouraged his flame. 
 The youth's father, a rough, downright Eng- 
 lishman, proud to a folly of his country, heard 
 of this amour, and wrote to his son, that he 
 would never see him more, if . he disgraced the 
 
96 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 blood of old England, by mixing it with that of 
 any French family in Christendom. 
 
 The lover consequently pined, and the vital 
 principles of his system being deranged, he died. 
 
 Little Marguerite raised the stone, I now be- 
 held, to his memory, and on it had engraved the 
 following highly delicate, moving, and pathetic, 
 verses. 
 
 EPITAPH. 
 
 O cruel death ! how could you be so unkind. 
 As to take him before, and leave me behind ? 
 
 Indeed it would have shewn your kindness more. 
 To have left him behind, and taken me before ! * 
 
 She did not survive this above nine and thir- 
 ty years, but fell a victim to it in her bloom, 
 and was buried by his side, in the sixty-first 
 year of her age. I prostrated myself before 
 the graves of these two singularly pure and af- 
 fectionate lovers. But I had not been there 
 long, when, perhaps angry at my neglect, the 
 spirit of my mama came by and frowned upon 
 her son. I immediately arose, and returned 
 along the path by which I came, disgraced and 
 disconsolate. 
 
 ^^I am now," said I, ^^in a fit temper to 
 learn intelligence of my other daughters: if 
 they have been unhappy, to hear it, will not 
 make me more forlorn." What could a father 
 like me say more? 
 
 ♦The g'enuinencss of these lines is proved by that quaintneas 
 of wit, and harshness of verse, which mark the poetry of the 
 English bards at the commencement of the sixteenth century. 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 97 
 
 I hastened towards the avenue. I told iny 
 pretended business to the servants of the house, 
 and proposed my commodities; I was admitted, 
 as I desired, to the apartments of tlieir mis- 
 tresses. 
 
 As I drew near the door, their light and airy 
 figures, as I last saw tliem at Constance, in 1547. 
 danced before the eyes of my imagination. I 
 was afraid to breathe. 
 
 Entering, I saw^ two ladies who appeared to 
 be rcs|)ectively about seventy-eight and seven- 
 ty-four years of age, and wliom, but not with- 
 out much difiiculty, I recognized for my daugh- 
 ters, Julia and Louisa. The youngest appear- 
 ed to me to have St. Vitus' dance, and the eld- 
 est, whose nose and cliin w^rc in perfect con- 
 tact, was very much palsied, and nodded her 
 head about in all directions like a mandarine 
 on a chimney-piece. Their gesture and man- 
 ners, as I expected, were finished, matronly, 
 and sedate. 
 
 They were seated in arm cl^iirs with tlicir 
 backs to the door, and being, as I afterwards 
 understood, both deaf, they did not know that 
 I was in the room, until I marclied up between 
 them ; when one mumbled out, '"La, bless mc, 
 how you frighten a body!" the other, putting 
 on her spectacles and looking up, took me for 
 the apothecary. What a situation for me! 
 
 In vain did I protest that I was no apotheca- 
 ry, for they could not hear a word I said. At 
 length, the mysterious syinpathies of our nature 
 getting the better of me, I seized hold of Lou- 
 9 
 
98 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 isa, and threw my arms round her neck. The 
 other instantly began kicking the floor as if she 
 had been mad. Immediately two servants ap- 
 peared, and according to their mistresses' or- 
 ders, notwithstanding all the oratory of a fa- 
 ther, I was fairly kicked out of doors. 
 
 I now quitted the residence of my daughters. 
 I had satisfied the longing curiosity of a father, 
 had seen their situation, had witnessed their 
 beauty, their accomplishments, and their vir- 
 tues. 
 
 Leaving D'Orveau, the idea of these two 
 amiable sisters soon faded in my sensorium. I 
 laid my hand upon my heart, and congratula- 
 ted myself! 
 
 CHAP. ZZ. 
 
 From D'Orverai I proceeded to the kingdom 
 of Hungary. To complete this journey, I must 
 pass through near twenty degrees of longitude. 
 13 ut this was a trivial consideration — I made, as 
 it were, but a step from one place to another. 
 
 It was just after sun-set, as I approached the 
 town of Buda. Musing on the strangeness and 
 variety of vicissitudes and disappointments I 
 had recently experienced; and just as I reach- 
 ed that part of the road where it branched at 
 
COUNT d'ouveau. 99 
 
 right angles with the part I was travelling in, 
 I was suddenly stai-tled by a strange, clattering 
 kind of noise, and at the same moment, a thin 
 shadowy figure or outline of a man, rushed past 
 me with incredible swiftness. A thick under- 
 wood on my right had prevented me from see- 
 ing it approach; and 1 felt at once, surprised 
 and confounded. After a slight hesitation, 1 
 stepped hastily forward to the path the phan- 
 tom (for such I thought it was) had chosen, and 
 soon perceived it far to my left, running with 
 the same velocity of speed, and now almost in- 
 distinct in the surrounding twilight. I gazed 
 in that direction, till it had entirely disappear- 
 ed, bewildered and perplexed, striving in vain 
 to assign a satisfactory cause for the appearance 
 of this phenomena. I turned to my right, in 
 the path which led to Buda, and had not ad- 
 vanced many paces, before I came up to a good 
 looking, elderly man, in whose face there was a 
 mixture of gravity, mirth, and good humour, 
 but the two latter seemed predominant. He 
 was leaning on his stick with i)oth hands, his 
 eyes directed down the road, whitlicr the phan- 
 tom had gone, and disappeared. 
 
 I accosted him very civilly, and observed, 
 *^Sir, you appear to be surprised as much as 
 I am, with a strange and unaccountable appear- 
 ance, which must have passed you, and moved 
 down the road with wonderful swiftness, and 
 accompanied with a strange clattering noise, as 
 if amusing itself with a dance to the measure of 
 its own music.'' 
 
100 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 ^^Triie," said lie, smiling archly, ^^I was lost 
 in my own reflections, not on the figure which 
 has just now flitted past us, but on the ingenui- 
 ty of nan in mechanical inventions.'' 
 
 '"' Mfvhaniccd invention r'' I repeated, with 
 considerable surprise, *• why surely, you do not 
 wish me to believe tlic object which has passed 
 us, is a piece of mechanism?" 
 
 •^^It is very little more, I assure you,'' he 
 answered gravely- 
 
 •'"'I confess," I said, after a slight pause, ''\ 
 am really bewildered and confounded. I am 
 not subject to superstitious fears; and notwith- 
 standing your assurance to the contrary, excuse 
 me when I say, that I still feel inclined to think 
 there is something more in this than reason or 
 philosophy can explain. P^erhaps I might have 
 attributed the whole to an illusion of the brain, 
 had I not fallen in with you, and whose atten- 
 tion seems to have been equally excited, though 
 not in that degree of wonder with which I am 
 now overcome." 
 
 "Then," said he, "'it appears, you have not 
 heard of the strange pranks and rambles of that 
 shadowy form : and, of course, know nothing of 
 the origin and cause of its present appearance?" 
 
 I assured him that such was the fact. 
 
 ^*To me," said the old man, "that figure is 
 not a stranger. Having travelled much in my 
 youth, I long ago became acquainted with the 
 story, which has now become almost a legend 
 of the country. But come, as you have expres- 
 sed so much surprise and curiosity, and appear 
 
COUNT d'oRVEAU. lOl 
 
 to be going on to Buda, (whither I am bound) 
 and if you have no objection, I will relate, as 
 we proceed, the whole story of this wonder- 
 ful and mysterious apparition." 
 
 Seeing the stranger so communicative, and 
 withal respectable in his appearance, I gladly 
 accepted his frank, good-humoured oiTer, and 
 he then, in a deliberate manner, with much of 
 the air of sincerity and delicate irony, he told 
 the following story. 
 
 A TKAVELLKIl's TALE. 
 
 He who has been at Rotterdam, will remem- 
 ber a house of two stories, which stands in the 
 suburbs, just adjoining the basin of the canal 
 that runs between that city and the Hague, 
 Leydcn, and other places. I say he will re- 
 member it, for it must have been pointed, out to 
 him, as having been once inhabited by the most 
 ingenious artist that Holland ever produced; — 
 to say nothing of his daughter, the prettiest 
 maiden ever born w ithin iiearing of the croak- 
 ing of a frog. It is not v, ith the fair Blanche^ 
 however, that we have at present any concern ; 
 it is with the old gentleman, her father. His 
 profession was that of a surgical- instrument ma- 
 ker: but his fame princij)ally rested on the ad- 
 mirable skill with which he constructed wood- 
 en and cork legs. — So great was his reputation 
 in this department of human science, that they 
 whom nature or accident had curtailed, carica- 
 tured, and disappointed in so necessary an ap- 
 9* 
 
102 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 pendage to the body^ came limping to him in 
 crowds ; and however desparate the case might 
 be, were very soon, as the vulgar saying is, set 
 upon their legs again. Many a cripple, who 
 liad looked upon his deformity as incurable, and 
 whose only consolation consisted in an occasion- 
 al sly hit at Providence, for having entrusted 
 his making to a journeyman, found himself so 
 admirably fitted — so elegantly propped up by 
 Mynheer Turningvort, that he almost began to 
 doubt whether a timber or cork supporter was 
 not, on the whole, superior to a common-place 
 and troublesome one of flesh and blood. And 
 in good sooth, if you had seen how very hand- 
 some and delicate, were the understandings 
 fashioned by this skilful artificer, you would 
 have been puzzled to settle the question your- 
 self; the more especially if, in your real toes, 
 you were ever tormented with those enemies to 
 repose, the gout or corns. 
 
 One morning, just as Mynheer Turningvort 
 was giving its final smoothness and polish to a 
 calf and ancle, a messenger entered his studio 
 (to speak classically,) and requested that he 
 would immediately accompany liim to the man- 
 sion of Mynheer Von Wodenblock. It was the 
 mansion of the richest merchant in Rotterdam { 
 so the artist put on his best wig, and set forth, 
 with his three-cornered hat in one hand, and hia 
 silver-headed cane in the other. 
 
 It so happened, that Mynheer Von Woden- 
 block had been very laudably employed, a few 
 days before, in turning a poor relation out of 
 
COUNT- d'orveau. 103 
 
 doors: but in endeavouring to hasten the pro- 
 gress of the odious wretch down the stairs, by a 
 sligl)t impulse a posteriori (for Mynheer seldom 
 stood upon ceremony with poor relations.) he 
 had unfortunately lost his balance; and tum- 
 bling headlong from the top to the bottom, he 
 found, on recovering his senses, that he had 
 broken his right leg, and that he was minus 
 three teeth. He had at first some thoughts of 
 having his poor relation tried for murder; but 
 when Iiis passion had a little cooled, and being 
 naturally of a merciful disposition, he only sent 
 him to ])rison, on account of some old, unpaid 
 debts: leaving him there to enjoy the comfort- 
 able reflection, that his wife and children were 
 starving at home. 
 
 The dentist soon supplied the invalid with 
 three teeth, which he had, pulled out of an in- 
 digent poet's head, at the rate of ten stivers a 
 piece, but for which he very prudently charged 
 the rich merchant twenty ducats. The doctor. 
 upon examiuing his leg, and recollecting that 
 he was just then rather in want of a subject, 
 cut it off very carefully, and took it away with 
 him in his carriage, to lecture upon it to his 
 pu])ils. So IMyuheer Von Wodcnblock, aware 
 that he had been hitherto accustomed to walk, 
 and not to hop, and being, perhaps somewhat 
 prejudiced to the former mode of action, sent 
 for the artist at the canal basin, in order that 
 he might give him directions about the substi- 
 tute with which he wished to be supplied iiu 
 the place of his lost member. 
 
104 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 The artificer entered the wealthy burgher's 
 apartment. He was reclining on a couch, with 
 his left leg looking as respectable as ever; but 
 with his unhappy right stump wrapped up in 
 bandages, as if conscious of its own littleness. 
 
 ^'Turningvort/' said he, "you have heard 
 of my misfortune ; it has thrown me into a fe- 
 ver, and all Rotterdam in confusion — but let 
 that pass. You must make me a leg; and it 
 must be the best leg, sir, you ever made in your 
 life.'' Turningvort bowed. — '*I do not care 
 what it costs,'' — Turningvort bowed yet lower 
 — "provided it outdoes every thing you have 
 yet made of a similar kind. — I am for none of 
 your wooden spindleshanks. Make it of cork : 
 let it be light and elastic, and cram it as full of 
 springs as a watch. I know nothing of the bu- 
 siness, and cannot be more specific in my direc- 
 tions; but this I am determined on, that I shall 
 have a leg as good as the one I have lost. I 
 know that such a thing is to be had ; and if I 
 get it from you, your reward shall be a thou- 
 sand ducats." 
 
 The Dutch Prometheus, without hesitation, 
 declared, that to please Mynheer Von Woden- 
 block, he would do mere than human ingenuity 
 had done before; and undertook to bring him, 
 within six days, a leg which would laugh to 
 scorn the mere common legs possessed by com- 
 mon men. 
 
 This assurance was not meant as an idle boast. 
 Turningvort was a man of speculative as well 
 as practical science ; and there was a favourite 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 105 
 
 discovery, which he had long been labouring to 
 make, and in accomplishing which, he imagin- 
 ed he had at last succeeded that very morning- 
 Like all other manufacturers of terrestrial legs, 
 he had ever found the chief diiliculty in his pro- 
 gress towards perfection, to consist in its being 
 apparently impossible to introduce into them 
 any thing in the shape of joints, capable of be- 
 ing regulated by the will, ai»d of performing 
 those important functions achieved under the 
 present system, by means of the admirable me- 
 chanical construction of the knee and ancle. 
 Our philosopher had spent years in endeavour- 
 ing to obviate this great inconvenience; and 
 ihoiigh he had undoubtedly made gi'eater pro- 
 gress than any body else, it was not till now, 
 that he believed himself completely master of 
 the great secret. — His first attempt to carry it 
 into execution, was to be in the leg he was now 
 about to make for Alynheer Von VVodenblock. 
 It was on the evening of the sixth day from 
 that to which I have already alluded, that with 
 this magic leg, carefully packed up, the acute 
 artisan again made his appearance before the 
 expecting and impatient VVodenblock. There 
 was a proud twinkle in Turningvort's grey eye, 
 which seemed to indicate that he valued even 
 the thousand ducats, which he intended for his 
 daughter Blanche's marriage portion, less than 
 the celebrity and glorious immortality, of which 
 he was at length so sure. He untied his pre- 
 cious bundle, and spent some hours in display- 
 ing and explaining to the delighted burgher the 
 
106 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 number of additions he had made to the inter- 
 nal machinery, and the purpose which each 
 was intended to serve. 
 
 The evening wore away in these discussions, 
 concerning wheels within wheels, and springs 
 acting upon springs. When it was time to re- 
 tire to rest, both were equally satisfied of the 
 perfection of the work; and at his employer's 
 earnest request, the artist consented to remain 
 where he was for the remainder of the night, in 
 order that early next morning he might fit on 
 the limb, and see how it performed its duty. 
 
 Early next morning, the necessary arrange- 
 ments were all completed, and Mynheer Von 
 Wodenblock walked forth to the street with ec- 
 stacy, blessing the inventive powers of one who 
 was able to make so excellent a hand of his leg. 
 It seemed indeed, to act to admiration. In the 
 merchant's mode of walking, there was no stiff- 
 ness, no effort, no constraint — all the joints at 
 once performed their respective offices, with- 
 out the aid of either bone or muscle. Nobody, 
 not even a connoisieur in lameness, would have 
 suspected that there was any thing uncommon, 
 any great collection of nicely adjusted clock- 
 work, under the full, wxll slashed trunk-hose of 
 the substantial Dutchman. Had it not been for a 
 slight tremulous motion, occasioned by the rap- 
 id W'hirling of about tw^enty small wheels in the 
 interior, and a constant clicking, like that of a 
 watch, though somew^hat louder, he would even 
 himself have forgotten that he was not in all re- 
 spects as he used to be, before he lifted his un= 
 
COUNT d'okveau. 107 
 
 fortunate foot to bestow a parting benediction 
 on his poor relation. 
 
 He walked along in the renovated buoyancy 
 of his spirits, till he came in sight of the State- 
 House ; and just at the foot of the steps that led 
 up to the principal door, he saw his old friend, 
 Mynheer A anoutern, waiting to receive him. 
 He quickened his pace, and both mutually held 
 out theii' hands to each other, by way of con- 
 gratulation, before they were near enough to be 
 clasped in a friendly embrace. At last the mer- 
 chant reached the spot where Vanoutern stood; 
 but what was tbat worthy man's astonishment to 
 see him, though he still held out his hand, pass 
 quickly by, without stopping even for a moment 
 to say, *' How d'ye do?" Yet so it was; but it 
 was no fault in the merchant. — His own aston- 
 ishment was a thousand times greater, when he 
 found that he had no power whatever to deter- 
 mine either when, where, or how, his leg was 
 to move! As long as liis own wishes ha])pened 
 to coincide with the manner in which the ma- 
 chinery seemed designed to operate, all had 
 gone on smoothly ; and he had mistaken iiis own 
 tacit compliance with its independent and ap- 
 parently self-acting powers, for a command over 
 it, which he now foinid he did not possess. It 
 had i)ecn his most anxious desire to stoj) to speak 
 with Mynheer Vanoutern ; but his leg moved 
 on, and he mtist of necessity follow it. Many 
 an attempt did he make to slacken his pace, but 
 every attempt was vain. He caught hold of the 
 rails, walls, and houses; but his leg tugged on 
 
108 ADVENTURES Or 
 
 SO violently, that he was afraid of dislocating 
 his arms, and was oblii^ed to t;o on. 
 
 He began now to get seriously uneasy as to 
 the consequences of this most unexpected turn 
 which matters had taken ; and liis only hope was, 
 that the amazing and unknown powers, which 
 the complicated construction of his leg seemed 
 to possess, would speedily exhaust themselves: 
 of this, however, he could as yet, discover no 
 symptoms. He happened to be going in the 
 direction of the Leyden canal ; and when he 
 came in sight of Mynheer Turningvort's house, 
 he called loudly upon the artificer to come im- 
 mediately to his assistance. The artificer look- 
 ed out from his window with the deepest won- 
 der, unable to move, or devise a remedy for the 
 sup|)licant's relief. ^''Rascal!" cried Woden- 
 block, '"come out to me this instant! You have 
 made me a leg with a vengeance! — it won't 
 stand still for a single moment! I have heen 
 walking strai iht forward ever since I left my 
 house; and unless you stop me yourself, heaven 
 only knows how much farther I may have to go. 
 Don't stand caping there, but come out and re- 
 lieve me, or I shall be out of sight, and you will 
 not be able to overc;\ke me. Come out, I say !'* 
 
 The mechanician grew very pale; he was 
 evidently not prepared for this new difiiculty. 
 He lost not a moment, however, in following 
 the merchant, to do what he could towards ex- 
 tricating him from so awkward a predicament. 
 
 The merchant, or rather the merchant's leg 
 was walking very quick, and Turningvort be- 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 109 
 
 iiig an elderly man. found it no easy matter to 
 make up to him. He did so at last, neverthe- 
 less : ajid catching him in his arms, lifted him 
 entirely from the ground. But the stratagem 
 (if so it may be called,) did not succeed, for the 
 innate propelling motion of the leg hurried him 
 on with his burthen, at the same rate as before. 
 He set him, therefore, down again ; and stoop- 
 ing, pressed violently on one of the springs that 
 ])rotruded a little behind. In an instant, the 
 unhappy Mynheer Von Wodenblock was off like 
 an arrow : calling out in the most piteous ac- 
 cents, '"'I am lost! I am lost! — I am possessed 
 by a devil in the shape of a cork leg! Stop me ! 
 for Heaven's sake, stop me! I am breathless — 
 I am faiiiting! Will nobody shatter my leg to 
 pieces! Oh! you diabolical villain! you have 
 murdered me!" 
 
 The artist, perplexed and confounded, was 
 hardly in a situation more to be envied. Scarce- 
 ly knowing what he did, he fell upon his knees, 
 clasped his hands, and with strained and staring 
 eyeballs, in speechless astonishment, gazed after 
 the richest merchant in all Rotterdam, running 
 with the speed of an enraged buffaloc, away 
 along the canal towards Leyden, and bellowing 
 as loudly as his rage and exhausted frame would 
 permit. 
 
 He passed the smith-shop of Hans Von Dun- 
 derkopf, who was then standing at the door, 
 smoking his pipe with composed tranquility. 
 He saw the merchant approach, a little surpri- 
 sed, it is true, at his speed, but not at all aware 
 ' 10 
 
110 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 oi" his perilous situation. "^^Hans! my dear fel- 
 low I" exclaimed the terrified Von Wodenblock, 
 ''strike my right leg with a hammer I knock it 
 to atoms! if you can. I am undone — bewitch- 
 ed ! — that alone will dissolve the charm. Do, 
 my dear Hans! do, for pity's sake! relieve me, 
 quick, quick!" Hans laid down his pipe, and 
 v.ith all tlie activity and speed of a Dutchman, 
 ticized a large hammer, ran after the panting 
 merchant, and gave his leg a single blow; but 
 tlris only increased the mischief. The leg, ac- 
 tuated by a new and sudden impulse, made its 
 owner shoot ahead with fresh speed and terror. 
 Hans was so overcome by the repulsive effect 
 oi' tlic blow and fear, that he staggered back a 
 few paces, and in recovering his balance, jost- 
 led against an old woman who was standing near 
 them, with a basket of gingerbread and apples 
 on her head, and gazing in silent wonder at the 
 ])assing scene. Unable to withstand the shock, 
 she reeled and fell, while the contents of her 
 basket rolled promiscuously around, many of 
 them plumped into the canal, and there danced 
 about on the surface as if suddenly endowed 
 witli all the activity of life. Hans sullenly help- 
 ed her up, at the same time forcing back a tre- 
 mendous hard Dutch oath which was struggling 
 tc escape between his clenched teeth. Leaving 
 h.er to rectify the misfortunes of the basket at 
 her leisure, he looked, to see what had become 
 of Mynheer Von Wodenblock : but no stretch 
 of vision could recall the figure of him who was 
 now moving rapidly on the road to Leyden. 
 
COUNT d'oRVEAU. Ill 
 
 Astonished and vexed, Hans at last turned in- 
 to his shop, scratching liis head, muttering and 
 grumbling like an angry bear; then resuming 
 his pipe, he proceeded in smoking with as much 
 apathy and unconcern, as though nothing very 
 extraordinary had occurred. 
 
 Leyden is more than twenty miles from Rot- 
 terdam ; but the sun had not yet set, when the 
 Misses Becksneider, who were sitting at their 
 parlour window, directly opposite the Golden 
 Lion, drinking tea, and nodding to their friends 
 as they passed, saw some one coming at a furious 
 speed along the street. His face was pale as 
 ashes, and he gasped fearfully for breatli ; but 
 without turning either to the right or left, he 
 hurried by at the same rapid rate, and was al- 
 most out of sight before the elder Miss Beck- 
 sneider had time to exclaim, ^^Good gracious! 
 was not that Mynheer Von Wodenblock, the 
 rich merchant of Rotterdam? Sure, it must be 
 him! La! me, how strange! Why, what can all 
 this mean?" 
 
 The next day was Sunday. — The inhabitants 
 of Haarlem were all going to church, in their 
 best attire, to say their prayers and hear their 
 great organ, when a being rushed across the 
 market-place, like an animated corpse — white, 
 blue, cold, and speechless; his eyes fixed, his 
 lips livid, his teeth set, and his hands clenched. 
 Every one cleared a way for it in silent hor- 
 ror; and there was not a person in Haarlem 
 who did not believe it a dead body endowed 
 with motion. 
 
112 ADTENTURES OF 
 
 Onward it hastened, through city, town, and 
 village, towards the great wilds and forests of 
 Germany. — Weeks, months, and years past on; 
 but at intervals the horrible shape was seen, 
 and still continues to be seen, in various parts 
 of Europe. The clothes, however, which he, 
 who was once Mynheer Von Wodenblock, used 
 to wear, have all mouldered away; the flesh too 
 has fallen from his bones, and he is now a skel- 
 eton! — a skeleton in all but the cork leg, which 
 still, in its original rotundity and size, continues 
 attached to the spectral form, ^ perpetuiim mo- 
 bile; dragging the wearied bones over the earth 
 with unceasing and protracted toil. 
 
 May all good saints protect us from pride and 
 cruelty to poor relations, and from broken legs; 
 and may there never more appear a mechani- 
 cian like Turningvort, to supply us with cork 
 substitutes of so awful and mysterious a power» 
 
 CHAP. XZZ. 
 
 The traveller had just concluded his won- 
 derful story, as v/e entered the town of Buda ; 
 and, at my desire, conducted me to a respecta- 
 ble inn, where I prevailed on him to partake of 
 supper with me ; after which, we parted, with 
 a mutual promise to extend and improve our 
 acquaintance. 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 113 
 
 I had before resolved to undertake the rcvi- 
 viscence of Hungary. The project was grand ; 
 but on making the experiment. I found it such 
 a dull, unprofitable piece of business, that I per- 
 haps, should pass it over almost unnoticed, if it 
 (lid not lead to a trifling event which I shall just 
 recount, and then proceed to matters of more 
 interest and entertainment. 
 
 On my arrival at Buda, I found the people- 
 all starving. I immediately bestowed a certain 
 strictness of reflection on the subject, wliicli 
 brought me to the wise and deep conclusion,, 
 that gold could be neither eaten nor drank, nor 
 could it of itself either clothe the naked or shel- 
 ter the liouseless. 
 
 They wanted gold, it is true, but they want- 
 ed industry more. The Carpathian mountain.-* 
 would have yielded them tlie former, if any 
 thing could have inoculated them with the lat- 
 ter. I set about doing tliis, and having induced 
 them to build, and cultivate their fields, I 
 thought I had succeeded tolerably well, v.hen 
 on a sudden, whilst the seed was yet in the 
 ground, another famine came. The people 
 murmured, and accusing me, to whom they !iad 
 the moment before paid adoration, of being the 
 cause of it, threatened to break out in open re- 
 bellion, and unless they had food, to destrov ev- 
 ery thing they had done. I then saw the folly 
 of my undertaking, and only looked about for 
 the means of making a safe escape. I foiuid 
 them starving, and I should leave them starv- 
 ing; and I verily believe their country is^ called 
 10* 
 
114 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 Hungary, or Hungary, because they always 
 are starving. 
 
 Fearing the outrage of the insurgents, I ap- 
 plied to the bashaw of the province for a guard 
 to protect me. I waited on him in person with 
 presents — he received them graciously, told me 
 he had long employed a spy on my actions, and 
 that he wished to send me to Constantinople to 
 answer to his master for daring to assume his sole 
 privilege, that of doing good to his subjects. 
 This journey I very much disapproved of — I 
 ventured to hint my objection, accompanied by 
 a handsome bribe, which was accepted, and I 
 v\'as for the present dismissed with the guard I 
 had petitioned. 
 
 My situation was now terrible indeed. Bri- 
 bery itself afforded me no complete security 
 from the infernal bashaw; who, though I might 
 be immortal, had sufficiently shown me I was at 
 the mercy of his caprice, or that of his master, 
 for my liberty, and even for my life ; in the lat- 
 ter case, I should have had but little cause to ex- 
 ult in the virtues of my elixir, as I then appre- 
 Jiended, it would afford me no security against 
 the trials of the bow-string or scymitar. 
 
 I was, of course, exceedingly alarmed — what 
 was to be done? I wanted a friend to consult 
 — I cast my eyes about, and soon fixed upon 
 one. The name of the man was Bethlem Ga- 
 bor. I shall describe him. He was a Turkish- 
 Jevr, and had been a desperate warrior. He 
 was more than six feet in stature. His voice 
 was like thunder. His head and chin were 
 
COUNT D'ORVEAU. 115 
 
 clothed with a shaggy hair, in colour a dead 
 black. Ill the wars lie had lost three fingers of 
 one of his hands ; the sight of his right eye was 
 extinguished, and the cheek half shot away, 
 while the same explosion had burned his com- 
 plexion into a colour that was universally dun 
 or black. His nose was scarred, and his lips 
 were thick and large : — 
 
 " Seldom he smil'J ; and smil'd in such a sort. 
 As if he mock'd hhiiself, and scorn'd his spirit. 
 That could be mov'd to smile at any thing." 
 
 Such was the amiable creature I elected for 
 my bosom friend. 
 
 If ever on the face of tiie earth there lived a 
 misanthrope, old Bedlam (for so I used to call 
 him) was the man. 
 
 He cursed mankind ; he rose up in fierce 
 defiance of providence; and my blood curdled 
 within me as he spoke. In his estimate, the 
 ])Ooi'est and most servile of all maxims, was that 
 of tlie author of the Christian religion, to repay 
 injury with fovour, and curses witli benedic- 
 tion: such was Bethlem Gabor. By a strange 
 propensity in me, and for wliich I cannot now 
 account, I could not help admiring him. — I felt 
 myself attached to him ! 
 
 Frequently did we continue together whole 
 niglits ; relieving ourselves, by cursing and de- 
 nouncing the rest of the world, for their obsti- 
 nacy and folly in submitting to the shackles im- 
 posed on their understandings by crafty priests, 
 and cunning politicians. 
 
116 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 We were often surprised still at our serious 
 consultations by the light of the morrow's sun. 
 It is scarcely necessary to add, that my under- 
 standing at that period, then confirmed what 
 my heart impelled ; and, that old Bedlam ap- 
 peared to me the fittest man in the world upon 
 whom to fix for my friend ! 
 
 I have now, I believe, fully accounted for 
 our intimacy, and displayed the ligatures that 
 secretly bound us to each other. 
 
 His castle had been destroyed by the enemy, 
 and thinking I could not do too much for such 
 a friend, I proposed the rebuilding of it; and I 
 at length obtained his permission to send off a 
 corps of workmen for that purpose. I also re- 
 stored the condition of his fields; with consid- 
 erable difficulty I replaced the cattle he had 
 lost, by purchases in Poland ; and I revived his 
 dilapidated revenues. In a word, I did him 
 every service in my power. 
 
 I believed him to be just the self-centred 
 individual I was myself. But little, alas! did 
 I understand the compound of tenderness and 
 ferocity, of decisiveness and inscrutability,with 
 which I was now concerned. 
 
 My friend, such I esteemed him, had been 
 absent some time at his castle; I expected his 
 return to my residence, and anxious as I was to 
 pay him every mark of attention, I proposed to 
 set out to meet him. His castle was in the 
 northerly part of the kingdom. When I de- 
 parted, the air was genial and balsamic, and I 
 at length passed the lines of the soldiers plant- 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 117 
 
 ed for the defence of the soil against the dep- 
 redations of the enemy. — The Austrians and 
 Hungarians under the Turkish yoke were then 
 at war. The road I took led upon the borders 
 of tliat part of Hungary subject to Austria, and 
 before I had proceeded far, I was taken pris- 
 oner; but I soon managed to give them the slip, 
 and shortly after meeting with old Bedlam, we 
 made for the castle. 
 
 Wlien we arrived, I was fatigued and hung- 
 ry, and I recollect he gave nie a very bad sup- 
 per, for which he apologized, saying, ^"'to-mor- 
 row you shall be accommodated in a different 
 manner.'' And, curse him, so I was ! 
 
 Retiring to rest, I soon fell asleep, from 
 whicli I was awakened after some hours' repose, 
 by the presence of Gabor standing by the side 
 of my couch. He invited me to rise, and of all 
 things in the world, started the plan of our vis- 
 iting together the various subterraneous apart- 
 ments of the castle. 
 
 I felt a strong inclination to say, " If I go, 
 Pll be ." But thinking it an act of kind- 
 ness and politeness, I rose, dressed and follow- 
 ed him. We passed through a number of sub- 
 terraneous cells, he carrying the light and dis- 
 charging the ofHce of a guide, but not of an 
 interpreter, for he said not a word. His si- 
 lence, however, was rather desirable than oth* 
 erwise. — His voice, as I have already said, was 
 the voice of thunder ; and rolling in a rich and 
 sublime swell, it arrested and stilled, w^hile it 
 
118 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 withered all the nerves of the soul. The less 
 one hears of such a voice, I think, the better. 
 ) I thought there would be no end to our pil- 
 grimage. At length we came to a strong door, 
 cross-barred and secured with a frame of iron. 
 I was in hopes this might be a celler containing 
 some choice wine. He unlocked it — there was 
 a descent of five steps. — He then faced about 
 with the torch in his hand : I was close behind 
 him. 
 
 ^' Stay were you are!'^ said he with a furious 
 accent, and thrust me violently from him. The 
 violence was unexpected. I staggered from the 
 top of the steps to the bottom. The door clo- 
 sed with a loud report; old Bedlam disappear- 
 ed ; I was left in darkness. 
 
 Thus entrapped, I cursed ; I stamped with 
 my feet; I smote my forehead with my closed 
 hands ; I tore my hair, but all in vain, nothing 
 came of it. I stayed here one month without 
 seeing any one, during which time I felt the 
 horrors of hunger sublimed by despair. What 
 a termination of life was this for one who thought 
 himself an immortal being ! 
 
 At last Gabor came and peeped into the cell, 
 thinking to find me dead, or at any rate too sick 
 to eat, he therefore brought me some provision. 
 Seeing I still lived, he looked at my glassy and 
 rayless eyes, and said in a tone that might quail 
 the stoutest. 
 
 ^' I hate the man in whom kindness produces 
 no regard, no responsive affection ! There is 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 119 
 
 food; there is light; eat, and satisfy yor cra- 
 ving wants, — but be silent, or beware!" 
 
 Though I observed his looks were dark and 
 lowering, and his eye dried and blasted to horn, 
 I determined to expostulate with him. : 
 
 My expostulations and reasoning, however, 
 were altogether fruitless. He said, he hated 
 me, more than words could express, and would 
 never forgive me, for only having attempted to 
 benefit mankind. 
 
 I confess, I could not see the wisdom, justice, 
 or even policy of this kind of reasoning and ac- 
 tion ; and, finding him inflexible, I desisted in 
 any furtlier controversy on that subject. 
 
 Knowing (for though I had a boy-aspect, I 
 possessed a time-instructed mind) that many 
 ])eople who are not pleased to see others bene- 
 fited, have not the least objection to receiving 
 benefits themselves, almost without measure ; I 
 offered him whatever price he should fix on for 
 my ransom. To this overture he appeared to 
 yield some degree of attention ; but enquired 
 in what manner I could procure him the money 
 in my dungeon. 
 
 I now told him, that I had at Buda a chest, 
 which, if he would convey to me, I should be 
 able to satisfy him. He promised, and retired. 
 The next time I saw him he brought the chest, 
 and left it with me. It contained not gold, but 
 the implements for making and fashioning gold. 
 
 The reader may recollect that, in the prison 
 at Constance, I produced gold without the aid 
 of all this apparatus ; and may be led to wonder 
 
120 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 why I did not do so here. 1 must leave 
 
 him still to wonder! 
 
 My task being finished. I carefully displayed 
 tlie effect of my labour, in expectation of Ga- 
 bor's next visit to my cell. He came, and, with 
 an infernal laugh, told me, that he had before 
 opened my chest, and saw there was no money 
 in it ; he therefore knew I possessed the philo- 
 sopher's stone. — "Now!" continued he, with 
 a wild, demoniac shout of exultation, "now I 
 possess you! which is the same thing; for you 
 shall remain here my prisoner and slave, and 
 supply me wdth all the resources which I may 
 require or demand." 
 
 Without uttering a word more, he seized the 
 gold, closed the door of my cavern, locked it, 
 and departed. 
 
 Here was a pretty piece of business ! Here 
 was a nice employment for the possessor of im- 
 mortality and the philosopher's stone ! While 
 pondering on what a stupid dog I had been, I 
 insensibly fell into a profound nap. 
 
 Some people affect to despise dreams, but I 
 think, with injustice. I will relate mine, and 
 then you may determine. 
 
 I dreamed I saw Charles, my dearest and on- 
 ly boy, exactly such as he had parted from me 
 at the Saxon court. Presently, instead of a 
 boy, I beheld a knight cased in complete proof. 
 
 x\gain the figure changed to that of a 
 
 lovely girl, witli wings: I instantly embraced 
 
 it, and we had such a fly together! while in 
 
 ^he air, I looked down, and saw, with inexpres- 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 121 
 
 sible delight, old Gabor's castle a prey to de* 
 vouring flames.— — ■ — Here ended my dream, 
 and I awoke, much disappointed. 
 
 I had this dream, gentle reader, but twice 
 more, before the Austriaus attacked the castle, 
 set it on fire, and released me. Old Bedlam 
 (the beastly villian!) died in a ditch. 
 
 After I had got a barber to shave mc, and 
 put my hair in a little order, I went to a cen- 
 tin el, and demanded that he would conduct me 
 to his conmander. He led me to the centre of 
 the little encampment, and I stood in the pres- 
 ence of the chief. I lifted up my eyes to be- 
 hold him, and was petrified with such astonish- 
 ment as, till that hour, I had never felt. It was 
 Charles, my son, my only son, the darling of my 
 Adelaide, the idol of my soul ! 
 
 M^ child was now about eighty-five, and 
 came, like another Nestor, to the field. I sa- 
 luted the venerable old man. Seeing me clean- 
 shaved, and a decent looking youth, he inqui- 
 red my name. At Buda, I went by the appel- 
 lation of the Sieur Chatillon, but I now thought 
 it prudent not to declare that; I therefore cal- 
 led myself D'Aubigny. 
 
 This was a fortunate circumstance for me, for 
 during a conversation I had with my glorioTis 
 boy, he took an opportunity of expressing him- 
 self to this effect. 
 
 '* There is but one other man in Hungary who 
 
 has been so effectual an enemy to the cause of 
 
 truth and Christianity as Bethlem Gabor. The 
 
 name of this man, I understand, is Chatillon, 
 
 11 
 
122 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 and I grieve to say, that he bears the name of a 
 Frenchman. To the eternal disgrace of the na- 
 tion tliat gave him birth, he joined the Turkish 
 standard, and, for a time, rescued the infidels 
 from famine. It was this same man who revi- 
 ved tlie resources of Gabor. Such a wretch as 
 this, is scarcely intitled to the common benefit 
 of the laws of war. I would not allow it to him. 
 No : curse him, if ever he falls in my power, I 
 will cut him up piece-meal!" 
 
 ^•Say you so, indeed?" said I mentally, not 
 a little startled at my danger. ^^But, my testy 
 old rogue ! you must exhibit more vigilance and 
 cunning than heretofore; and I must be more 
 dull than common, if I leave the execution of a 
 threat like this to too much hazard." To say 
 the least, his intentions were not the kindest; 
 and, though I was alarmed, I concealed it, and 
 immediately began to soothe and divert his an- 
 ger, pretending ignorance of the person, and 
 promising to apprize him of any circumstance 
 that might lead to his detection. With this he 
 appeared to be perfectly satisfied. 
 
 I made as short stay in his company after this 
 as possible. I knew that he could never recog- 
 nize me for his father, though he might, by 
 chance, learn that I was Monsieur Chatillon ; I 
 therefore resolved to purchase a horse, and, 
 leaving my hero to pursue his career, make the 
 best of my way out of Hungary. 
 
couKt d'orveau. 123 
 
 CHAP. XZZZ. 
 
 Immediately after quitting this blood-de- 
 lighting chief, I went to inquire the speediest 
 method of making my escape. In the course 
 of my search for information on this head, I 
 learnt some on another, whicli determined me 
 to make one experiment before my departure. 
 
 This was my experiment. — I was told that 
 my old dog of a son had fallen in love with a 
 young lady of quality, named Pandora, niece to 
 Nadista, great Palatine of Hungary, and that his 
 addresses were approved of by the uncle, who 
 was at that moment with the fair one on a visit 
 at the head-quarters, some miles from our camp. 
 I heard of Charles' passion, and of the uncle's 
 approbation of it, but I heard nothing of any 
 sympathetic affection on the part of the niece. 
 This circumstance, added to a good augury I 
 drew from the young lady's name, which seem- 
 ed to promise much itself, induced me to take 
 the resolution of attempting to carry her off, 
 and thus revenge myself on Charles for his kind 
 intentions towards Monsieur Chatillon. 
 
 I succeeded beyond my expectation. Arriv- 
 ing at head-quarters, the first thing I did was 
 to bribe one of her female attendants, which I 
 did till I made her entirely my own. I then 
 desired her to hint to her young mistress, that 
 I, an English nobleman, was smitten with her 
 
124 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 charms, and ardently desired to throw myself 
 and fortune at her feet. This declaration was 
 well received, and she soon consented to an in- 
 terview. — We met in a remote part of the gar- 
 den. 
 
 I was young, and my person unexceptiona- 
 ble. Pandora was about seventeen, and beau- 
 tiful as an Houri. Her symmetry was so per- 
 fect, the pearly lustre of her skin so admirable, 
 and her form and carriage so light and etherial, 
 that she seemed formed purposely for an immor- 
 tal. I stormed her heart with flattery and prom- 
 ises of eternal love. She was overwhelmed and 
 incapable of effort. For my own part, my feel- 
 ings were unusually complicated. The conver- 
 sation was interesting and soothing to us both. 
 In the course of it, she informed me that she 
 detested the nasty old fellow her uncle had 
 chosen for her husband; and that she would 
 elope with me, or indeed with any one, rather 
 than not get rid of him. 
 
 After this interview, I set about preparing 
 horses for our flight. — Two fleet coursers were 
 quickly obtained, and at a propitious moment, 
 the lovely Pandora committed herself to my 
 protection, and ue absconded — She was an ex- 
 cellent rider. — We pursued our route along the 
 course of the Danube, reached the Rhine, and 
 crossed into Alsace, a province of France. 
 
 This I considered as my opus magiiitm, or 
 chef d'oeuvre. Not love, but safety, had till 
 now occupied the whole of my thoughts; but 
 having arrived at Strashurg, and refreshed our- 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 125 
 
 selves, I began to feel a strong- dislike to remain 
 any longer in a situation that now appeared con- 
 temptable from its obscurity. My angel, in con- 
 sequenccj reminded me of my promise of mar- 
 riage, to which I had no manner of objection; 
 and we were presently tacked together. Here 
 I could, if so disposed, fill a volume with an ac- 
 ount of our loves, merely for the first month; 
 but let it suffice to say, that I found her in ev- 
 ery respect, a sweet commingling soul. 
 
 My happiness was now complete ; and all my 
 l)ast toil and suffering lost and forgotten in the 
 enjoyment of the present moment. My wife 
 was seventeen, I twenty, with an endless source 
 of wealth, and all the world before us, where to 
 pick and choose. 
 
 I had as yet acted like an idiot. I had taken 
 up my residence in villages and petty towns, 
 where every one had his eye upon me. — In a 
 word, I had hitherto lived amongst either hon- 
 est men or fools, neither of which could answer 
 juy purpose. Wherever there was the greatest 
 number of knaves, was the sphere in which my 
 riches would give me splendour. Knowing this, 
 I determined to go to Paris, as the nearest mart 
 of vice. 
 
 Speaking English tolerably, and having lost 
 much of my French idiom and pronunciation 
 during my stay in Italy, Spain, and Germany. 
 I fixed on the character of an oflicer in the Eng- 
 lish army to appear in at Paris. My wife speak- 
 ing very good French, I should there be sup- 
 posed to have married a foreigner, and to be 
 
 11 ^r 
 
126 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 travelling either to see her friends, or to amuse 
 ourselves with the pleasures of the metropolis 
 of France. — In either case, as an English gen- 
 tleman, a mi lord Anglois, I should be permit- 
 ted, without suspicion, to squander away as 
 much money as I pleased. 
 
 We entered Paris in a most splendid style, 
 and were in a very short time provided with a 
 hotel, (so noblemen's houses are called,) with 
 spacious courts and gardens, near the palace. 
 Appearing in this reputable and family manner 
 with my wife, and giving public entertainments 
 of all kinds, in a style so superb, I was not long 
 before I became as intimate with the Parisians, 
 as if I had lived with them the whole of my life. 
 
 All Paris rung with the report of my magni- 
 ficence, and there was but one thing wanting 
 to give perfection to my character in the eyes 
 of my acquaintance. It was a custom at this 
 period, for every one who wished to be ranked 
 as a gentleman and a man of honour, to distin- 
 guish himself by fighting a few duels. — He was 
 then considered as possessed of courage, and 
 had a passport into all companies. 
 
 This little deficiency in me was, but not by 
 my own seeking, very soon obviated, and my 
 name elevated as high in the roll of the courage- 
 ous as any moderate man could have wished. 
 
 The anecdote is rather trivial, and at this 
 distance of time my memory scarcely serves 
 me, but I believe it was for some such trifle as 
 debauching the wife of a colonel, I was obliged 
 to fight him, and afterwards the whole regi- 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 127 
 
 ment, that is, all the officers. Being immortal, 
 they pinked at me, and shot at me in vain. — 
 Some I wounded in the leg, others in the arm, 
 and so on, until they all declared that I had 
 given ample satisfaction. This event settled 
 my reputation in the field upon such a footing 
 that I am sure there was not a Frenchman after- 
 wards who would not as soon have gone to the 
 devil as called me out. 
 
 From this moment I followed the dictates of 
 my passions, without any impediment — indul- 
 ging in every thing my wishes could suggest. 
 I was not a little inconstant, I own, but was not 
 Pandora so too? Assuredly she was ! But the 
 heart is free, and I was unable to blame her. 
 Liberty and no constraint ! was our motto. I 
 hated the man who presumed to think he had 
 »a riglit to monopolize any woman ! ^This was 
 my sentiment, and I despised the mean spirited 
 wretch who did not subscribe to it. The colo- 
 nel I have just mentioned did not, and I should 
 have said, that I in consequence, felt it my du- 
 ty to run him through the body. 
 
 My enjoyments were now uncontrolled and 
 excessive — I fondly expected them to last for 
 ever! But it was my fate to rejoice for mo- 
 ments, and lament for years. My years of la- 
 mentation were at hand. 
 
 Wantoning in the success of my riches, be- 
 fore which I found no opposition, I sought for 
 difliculty, and in my search at length unfortu- 
 nately met with a beauty of the day, who was 
 the favourite mistress of the king. This seem- 
 
128 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 ed an object worthy of attack. — Imitating a fel- 
 low immortal,* I visited her in a shower of gold. 
 I had not however, been many minutes in her 
 presence, before I was seized, by order of his 
 majesty, and locked up safely in the Bastille. 
 
 I now found I had involved myself in a very 
 serious difficulty, and from which there was not 
 the most distant hope of shortly extricating my- 
 self. Perfectly unacquainted with the machin- 
 ations which had brought about my arrest and 
 imprisonment, I walked up and down in wild 
 and hopeless agony. — Paused — beat my breast 
 — tore my hair — and acted a thousand extra- 
 vagancies, which could answer no end but to 
 exhibit the impotence of my rage. — After ex- 
 hausting myself, I would sit down, and indulge 
 in all the bitterness of reflection and unavailing 
 repentance. 
 
 ^•After all, I would mournfully exclaim, '^it 
 does not avail me much, to possess unbounded 
 wealth and immortality. I cannot console my- 
 self now with having properly used the one, or 
 justly appreciating the other. How many op- 
 portunities have I suffered to pass, where, if I 
 could not produce happiness, I might at least 
 promote comfort, by relieving the necessities 
 and wants of my fellow-men: but no! in the 
 pride of my heart, and governed by the princi- 
 ples of a cold and selfish philosophy, I never 
 much studied the improvement of their condi- 
 
 * "His name's Jupiter; the storj- is extant, and writ in choice 
 Latin" Hamlet, Act 3. sc. 6, 
 
COUNT d'orveau.' 129 
 
 tion and happiness, since the possession of the 
 means for doing so. — Oh! fool, fool that I have 
 been ! — Would I were but out of this abomina- 
 ble prison ! that I might act with more wisdom 
 and discretion. — Perhaps so: past events have 
 shewn, how little reliance can be placed on re- 
 solutions made in moments like the present — 
 how little I have profited by former experience! 
 All my former good resolutions, made in the 
 hour of adversity, have been fated, it would 
 seem, to be soon forgotten in the day of pros- 
 perity and reckless enjoyment." 
 
 Reflections and suggestions like these would 
 often come over me, and though they at first 
 were oppressive, yet in time I gradually learn- 
 ed to apply them in mitigating the turbulence 
 of my feelings, when highly excited by the pro- 
 tracted and weary length of my confinement. 
 
 CRAP. ZZV. 
 
 Being confined by the king's particular com- 
 mand, I found there was no chance of making 
 my escape by the power of money ; I therefore, 
 thought it best to sum up all my patience, and 
 wait the efiect of time. Here it was, that I first 
 formed my notions, which I afterwards promul- 
 gated in England, of absolute necessity , presid- 
 
130 • ADVENTURES OF 
 
 ing over all the actions of man. Upon this 
 ground, I cordially forgave his majesty for de- 
 priving me of my liberty, because I knew he 
 could not avoid it ; and I now, also, freely par- 
 doned the mountaineers who had robbed and en- 
 deavoured to kill me, as I firmly believed that 
 the assassin cannot help the murder he commits, 
 any more than the dagger. My marriage with 
 Pandora, I also ascribed to the divinity of ne- 
 cessity j or I should have been greatly ashamed 
 of myself, for having committed such an ungen- 
 erous ditidi fraudulent act to my son. I receiv- 
 ed too, no inconsiderable relief from the reflec- 
 tion, that my wife had considered our marriage 
 as a mere form, and no kind of tie that prevent- 
 ed her from the shameless and licentious indul- 
 gence of a wanton disposition. By such inge- 
 nious sophistry, it may be seen, that no man 
 can be either virtuous or vicious, sipce he is not 
 the complete master of his own actions. 
 
 My sudden disappearance did not in the least 
 astonish the good people of Paris, with whom 
 such things were then very common; and my 
 leaving my wife behind me, was also considered 
 as very natural, and- what every prudent man 
 would do. 
 
 I had received an education, / thank them, 
 in the dungeons of the Spanish Inquisition: and 
 if that be properly considered, it will not be 
 wondered at, that I was superior to ordinary 
 terrors. 
 
 I had been immured here, for a length of 
 time that now exceeds my perfect recollection, 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 131 
 
 and perhaps, if stated, might stagger the read- 
 er, as beyond the bounds of credibility ; it is, 
 however, sufficient for me to remember, that I 
 found it of a most wearisome and insufferable 
 duration. In the early part of my imprison- 
 ment, the presentiment had suggested itself to 
 me, that I should be released by some very im- 
 portant, grand and striking event; and howev- 
 er wild and chimerical the thought might be, 
 yet, so it at last happened. 
 
 I had obtained information one day, that a 
 change had lately been made in the administra- 
 tion of public affairs, in consequence of the ac- 
 cession of a new king to the throne, already re- 
 markable for mildness and clemency; and, that 
 those who had wrought my downfall, were long 
 since forgotten. About the same time, it was 
 intimated to me by the new governor, that a 
 memorial to the new king, in all probability, 
 would procure my enlargement in a very short 
 time. I immediately took the necessary mea- 
 sures, and then aw\'iited the result with consid- 
 erable anxiety and impatience. 
 
 One morning, I believe the third after my 
 memorial had been presented, the governor 
 entered my room with an unusual courteous air, 
 and smiling countenance, which at once mark- 
 ed the polished gentleman and soldier. He be- 
 gan, after the usual compliments, ^*My dear 
 colonel," said he, ^'I have the extreme felicity 
 of waiting on you, to communicate the pleasant 
 intelligence of the very flattering prospect of 
 your speedy enlargement. The king has read 
 
132 ADVENTURES OF -'^ 
 
 your memorial; and from what has followed, 
 you may confidently anticipate a release in a 
 few days." I thanked him with all the elo- 
 quence I was master of; and assured him I 
 should forever feel the obligation with which I 
 was now overwhelmed. 
 
 ^^In the mean time," resumed he, "I feel 
 warranted in adopting measures for promoting 
 your greater comfort, by removing you to a 
 commodious and airy apartment; where you 
 may enjoy with freedom, all the advantages of 
 air and exercise." 
 
 I bowed a thousand thanks. 
 
 He gave a signal, and four soldiers entered, 
 who by his orders, escorted me from my room, 
 down several flights of stairs, along a narrow, 
 dark, and vaulted passage, till we came to an 
 iron-grated door at its extremity, which by a 
 word from the governor, who led the way, was 
 immediately opened : through this we passed, 
 proceeded across a. spacious court, and came to 
 what appeared to be a detached wing of the 
 main building, but fronting at a different angle 
 from it. On the principal front, were several 
 galleries, ranged one above the other, to cor- 
 respond with each story of the building itself; 
 the uppermost, as I judged, commanding a full 
 view of the outer works and ramparts of this 
 ancient, gloomy, and formidable fortress. We 
 entered this building by a large door, elevated 
 a few steps, and opening into a spacious hall, at 
 the end of which, we ascended a flight of stairs, 
 and proceeded along an open, airy passage, till 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 133 
 
 we reached the room destined for my reception. 
 This was furnished with every accommodatioTi 
 my situation would permit, or I could then even 
 wish for. In the centre of my room, between 
 two light windows, was a door, opening into 
 one of the galleries on the outside, where, I was 
 told, I might indulge myself in taking air and 
 exercise, whenever most xigreeal)le to me. 
 
 I was so completely overcome hy this sudden 
 and unexpected change in my situation, that, 
 as I turned to the governor to thank him, I felt 
 unable to speak. He saw my distress, and witli 
 a smile, pressed my hand in his, begged me to 
 be composed; I bowed in silence, and he then 
 retired with the guards. 
 
 I was now comparatively happy, when my 
 present situation was contrasted with my late 
 place of confinement. Nevertheless, past ex- 
 perience had sufficiently taught me, not to yield 
 too readily to the delusions and anticipations of 
 hope. 
 
 I was released from this prison a few days 
 after my removal ; but in a time and manner 
 never before dreamed of by any body. It was 
 on the afternoon of the memorable 14th. of Ju- 
 ly 1789, as I was taking my usual recreation in 
 the gallery, I heard a confused tumult of shouts 
 and drums, presently succeeded by vollies of 
 musketry at short intervals. Activity and bus- 
 tle seemed suddenly to pervade every part of 
 the garrison. My curiosity was considerably 
 excited, nor could I assign any possible cause 
 for the uproar without, and the connexion it 
 12 
 
134 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 might have with those within. After some time 
 spent in useless conjecture, the shouts without 
 were increased; to which were now added the 
 deep tones of artillery, mingled at short inter- 
 vals with sharp and irregular firing from small- 
 arms. This was succeeded by a comparative 
 silence, followed by most tremendous and inces- 
 sant bursts oT heavy cannon and musketry, min- 
 gled with loud and piercing shouts. I now dis- 
 covered, that all this tumult and wild uproar, 
 was occasioned by a regular and spirited attack 
 on the Bastille; and awaited the result with al- 
 most breathless anxiety. Whilst indulging in 
 speculations as to the probable issue of this con- 
 flict, and the consequences to myself, in the 
 event of its surrender, I was startled at percei- 
 ving ? number of the assailants, citizens of Par- 
 is, had surmounted the high ramparts; and with 
 animating shouts and fearless intrepidity, car- 
 ried on a destructive warfare against the troops 
 within, who now made a resolute defence, and 
 conducted with great coolness and bravery. 
 
 At length, the conflict was suspended, with 
 the exception of a few straggling shots of small 
 arms, and increasing shouts from those without. 
 As I afterwards learned, the governor, unable 
 to defend the works with the force under his 
 command, and also, unwilling to w^aste the blood 
 of his fellow-men, had entered into parley with 
 the assailants, who had now become quite form- 
 idable, — he offered to capitulate, on condition 
 of an immediate cessation of hostilities, and 
 permission to retire with the honours of war. 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 135 
 
 This was promptly acceded to, and almost in 
 an instant, the works were abandoned by tlieir 
 former occupants. I was, of course, released 
 with the rest of the prisoners ; yet anxious, 
 from a curiosity natural to most men, I linger- 
 ed near, to witness the regular and systematic 
 work of destruction which now commenced. I 
 shall not attempt a description; let it suftice to 
 say, that the whole was soon reduced to a heap 
 of ruins. Though I was now in no way interest- 
 ed in it, I could not help exulting at the sight : 
 partly because it had been the last bourne of 
 many an unfortunate wretch, and because I too 
 had been one of its tenants for a much longer 
 period than was either desirable or agreeable : 
 but this the reader might have guessed. 
 
 Thus this formidable pile, the citadel of Par- 
 is, with its seemingly impassable ditches and 
 inaccesable towers and ramparts, covered with 
 a powerful artillery, was in a short time carried 
 by storm. Thus fell, in less than four hours, 
 a castle which menaced France for nearly as 
 many ages ; and which an army, commanded by 
 the great Conde, had formerly closely besieged, 
 in vain, during three-and- twenty days. 
 
 My wife it was in vain to look for — she was 
 in all probability no more, and if otherwise, at 
 that time I should certainly not have been much 
 pleased to see her. Every soul I had formerly 
 known in Paris had long since been dead ; and 
 the whole state of political affairs, and the minds 
 of men were entirely revolutionized. 
 
13^5 .ADVENTURES OF 
 
 Having settled myself comfortably, I began 
 to enter warmly into the politics of the day. 
 Jacobinism was now just becoming the fashion ; 
 I studied it in (I may say) the primeval schools 
 — drank it in a manner, at the very source. It 
 gradually incorporated with me, and finally be- 
 came a part of myself. 
 
 Here I continued in the riot and confusion 
 of that eventful period, until the reign of Ro- 
 bespierre, when the guillotine was brought into 
 rapid play, and every rich man's head lopped 
 off with little ceremony, to get at his property. 
 This alarmed me. I should not have minded 
 hanging a pin's point; but I was fearful that 
 after they had cut off my head, I should not be 
 able to find it again, and so be obliged to go 
 a])out without one, which, though no uncom- 
 mon thing in a figurative sense, would in real- 
 ity render me very unfit for conversation and 
 company. 
 
 I therefore resolved to go to America. In 
 rliis resolution, however, I was deceived; and 
 instead of visiting America, I was compelled by 
 ihe omnipotence of necessity, to visit England 
 — but in such a w^ay as no man ever visited it 
 before. 
 
 Embarking at Marseilles, we sailed safely 
 with a prosperous wind from the Mediterrane- 
 an through the straights of Gibraltar, till we 
 came to the Atlantic, when within about sev- 
 enteen degrees north latitude the ship founder- 
 ed. Before she sunk, the crew, knowing the 
 danger, employed themselves, some in praying, 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 137 
 
 others in swearing, and many in endeavouring 
 to save a part of their property. I did none 
 of these; but like Bias, one of the seven sages 
 of Greece, when Priene was taken, and the cit- 
 izens were striving to bear away tlicir goods, 
 stood inactive ; and if I had been asked why I 
 did not do the same, like him, I might have 
 replied, ^'My friends I do; for I carry all my 
 possessions with me." 
 
 Well, down went the vessel, and their prop- 
 erty then oidy served to facilitate their sinking, 
 while mine (that is my property of immortality) 
 kept me afloat. Indeed, you might as well at- 
 tempt to drown a cork as an immortal. 
 
 One tough old tar, whose skin was imbrown- 
 ed with age, got on a piece of the wreck, and 
 held out for a couple of days, but his fticulties 
 gradually lethargized into death, and I at la^t 
 saw him set off for Davy's locker. I was really 
 sorry for the poor fellow, and would have saved 
 him if the waves had not kept us asunder. Be- 
 fore he sunk, he hailed me, crying out as loud 
 as he could, "Farewell, master! The ocean's 
 a sailor's bed, and I am going to take a nap, 
 but I sorely fear the sheets are so damp, that 
 they'll be my death. Well, well, in I go, for 
 damme if I can keep my eyes open any longer^ 
 I see master, you are a precious good swimmer, 
 and I wish you safe in port. If you should ev- 
 er see my Suke, tell her " 
 
 What I was to tell Suke, I know not, for the 
 water prevented any further parley. 
 
138 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 I was now tossed about the western ocean for 
 one month and eleven days, without seeing any 
 ship or land. During this time, I had a fine 
 opportunity, which I did not neglect, of mak- 
 ing many very curious observations on the tides 
 and currents at sea, which I shall perhaps here- 
 after publish. By either one or both of these, 
 I was carried imperceptibly towards the east; 
 and after three months and twelve days cruising 
 about, came in sight (as I was afterwards in- 
 formed.) of Plymouth. Here I fell in with a 
 strange monster of the deep, which I at first 
 mistook for a large log floating in the current, 
 but on approaching nearer, I found it had a 
 liead like a horse, and a body some fifty or sixty 
 feet in Icngtli, which was studded all along the 
 back with large knobs or bunches. It seemed 
 to be reposing at leisure on the surface of the 
 water, occasionally raising its head slowly, and 
 looking about with an air of listless unconcern. 
 I observed, with much anxiety and fear, that I 
 was gradually carried nearer to this formidable 
 inhabitant of the deep, than was desirable, or 
 might be agreeable to myself. Not knowing 
 exactly what to do in this predicament, I rais- 
 ed myself up as high as I could, and gave a loud 
 and piercing shout; this seemed to have the 
 effect of rousing the animal, whose eyes now 
 flashed fire, as it raised its head and one third 
 of its body out of the water, and looked eager- 
 ly in the direction it was disturbed from. I 
 soon perceived my figure had caught its eye ; 
 when, full of apprehension and despair, I mus- 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 139 
 
 tered all the strength I could command, and 
 gave an increased and more prolonged shout. 
 I instantly had the satisfaction of seeing it start, 
 and shoot away in an opposite direction, with 
 astonishing swiftness; leaving no traces of its 
 huge figure, hut the irregular and broken rip- 
 ples on the surface of the calm waters, which 
 were produced by its sudden and accelerated 
 ilight. 
 
 I felt relieved beyond measure ; and being 
 much fatigued, and almost exhausted for want 
 of food, (for I had eaten or drank nothing du- 
 ring this period, but some small fry which I 
 caught in my passage, and a keg of Hollands. 
 I found floating over a wreck) I fell asleep, and 
 was taken up by a bargeman near Greenwich, 
 who thinking I was drowned, carried me in my 
 sleep to a little public house there, called the 
 ^^ Crown and Sceptre." Perceiving my body 
 still warm, they were going through the pro- 
 cess prescribed by the Humane Society, and 
 had actually began rubbing my body with salt, 
 when I awoke, and, to their great astonishment, 
 l)egged to know where I was, and what the 
 plague they were about. 
 
 The master and bargeman now told me the 
 most infamous lies, about what they had done 
 for me, saying, I could never be too thankful 
 or reward them enough, as they had been the 
 means of saving my life. The mistress of the- 
 house, a pious woman, followed, and read me a 
 long lesson on the criminality of suicide, and 
 prayed, with great fervency, that I would; for 
 
140 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 my poor souFs sake, as I had been prevented 
 this time, never more attempt to make away 
 with myself. The piety of the good hostess 
 was so great and ardent, that it never once per- 
 mitted her to advert to my situation, (they had 
 reduced me to a state of nudity,) but when I 
 asked for my clothes, she instantly recollected 
 herself, and crying, ^^God bless me, poor soul !'' 
 ran hastily out of the room. 
 
 ^^Gentlemen," said I, ^^you see before you 
 one who is neither a lunatic or fool, yet you 
 may call me both, when I assure you, I have 
 encountered dangers which might appal the 
 stoutest, arid should have escaped them all, 
 without your interference." 
 
 ^^Not if you had met with the sea-serpent,'' 
 said the bargeman. 
 
 *^'^The sea-serpent P'' I reiterated. "What 
 do you mean?'"' 
 
 He then described as accurately as I had wit- 
 nessed, the monster I met with a day or two be- 
 fore ; that himself and others had testified to the 
 fact of having seen it at different times. I told 
 them I had also seen it, and related the expe- 
 dient by W'hich I effected my escape. At this 
 information, they both stared at me with won- 
 der ; and begged of me, that as soon as I was in 
 a proper trim, I would go to a magistrate, and 
 make a deposition to that effect. This I prom- 
 ised very readily to do, without, however, in- 
 tending to comply ; for I supposed few or none 
 would believe the tale, though there were 
 
 "Five justices' hands at it; and witnesses, more than my 
 pack would hold." 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 141 
 
 My clothes were then brought to me, but 
 they were perfectly useless, and unfit to put 
 on. I consequently requested them to furnish 
 me with others. 
 
 ^^Why, as to that," said the host, *•! have 
 no objection, but I should like first of all to 
 know who you are, and whether you have mo- 
 ney enough to reimburse the expence.'' 
 
 Seeing there was nothing to be done without 
 shewing the gold, I took my old rags, and drew 
 from them, to the utter surprise of the barge- 
 man and host, who had before both ransacked 
 my clothes, a large purse full of cash. Their 
 countenances were illuminated with delight, as 
 they viewed the treasure ; and the respect they 
 shewed me, from that moment, led me to make 
 a conclusion in regard to the country I was in, 
 which I have always found verified. — In Eng- 
 land, 
 
 JVullu7n numen ahest, si sit Pecunia. 
 
 I was now quickly provided with a decent 
 suit of clothes; and ordering the best dinner 
 that could be prepared in the shortest time, I 
 was presently served with some excellent flat 
 fish, so deliciously fried, that I cannot refrain 
 from recommending the reader to go there, and 
 taste a few cooked in the same manner. — After 
 this, I devoured a plate of lamb-chops and a 
 roast duck. — I then invited the host to sit down 
 with me, and take a glass of what he called the 
 best port in the world. Such port, he said, 
 
142 • ADVENTURES OF 
 
 as I should never meet with again ; and I never 
 did! 
 
 Being seated, I inquired into the state of the 
 bargeman's affairsj and was informed, that he 
 passed for a very honest, worthy man ; and that 
 he had a wife and five children, w horn he found 
 it very difficult to maintain. This was suffici- 
 ent. — Our wine being finished, I desired to see 
 the man who had first picked me up, and saved 
 my life — (so they imagined, and I did not un- 
 deceive them.) He came — I made him a pres- 
 ent of five hundred guineas, and fifty to the 
 landlord ; with this they appeared completely 
 satisfied, and overwhelmed me with a profusion 
 of thanks. Then seating myself in one of the 
 Greenwich stages, I was soon conveyed to Lon- 
 don. — My host said it was very pleasant going 
 by water; but I had quite enough of aquatic 
 excursions, and preferred the more comfortable 
 one I have just mentioned. 
 
 In London I soon established myself, and 
 found it in every shape the proper sphere of 
 my action. Here I perceived that every man 
 passed his life just as he pleased, and nobody 
 cared one farthing how he managed to do it. 
 My way of living, owing to my secret, was 
 without any apparent resources; and I saw 
 with pleasure, that in London one half of the 
 people lived exactly in the same manner. That 
 being the case, I was sure there would be no 
 scrutiny. — ^^This," cried I exultingly, "is the 
 true element of the possessor of the philosoph- 
 er's stone !" According to Propertius, here the 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 143 
 
 most honour was paid to him who possessed (no 
 matter how) the most gold; and I rejoiced with- 
 in myself, at existing in what the poet therefore 
 calls the true golden age. 
 
 Having taken up my residence in one of the 
 squares, and resumed my family name, (which 
 might now be done with perfect safety) I be- 
 gan, as I did many years before at Paris, to give 
 splendid entertainments of all sorts, and was 
 visited by people of all conditions. The scum 
 of the nobility and fashionables flocked round 
 me in multitudes. — This Dutchess begged to 
 preside at my tabic; that countess requested 
 me to let her have the direction of my balls, 
 and her lord the superintendance of my music 
 and masquerades. Their beautiful daughters 
 were thrown in my way, and left with me by 
 their shameless mothers in situations dangerous 
 to us both. All this was done without knowing 
 any thing more of me, than that I appeared to 
 be rich, and seemed to squander away my mo- 
 ney like an ideot. — And I heartily believe, that 
 a baboon dressed in my clothes, and invested 
 with my property, would have received all the 
 homage they bestowed on me. Knowing this, 
 I could not, when I saw them gather round me 
 thus from all quarters, help comparing them to 
 the foul flies that assemble on a heap of offal, 
 not heeding the means, so that their appetites 
 are pampered and their stomachs filled. 
 
 I was soon disgusted with this abominable 
 crew of mothers exposing their daughters, and 
 husbands their wives to prostitution, through 
 
144 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 the adoration of riches. I launched out in this 
 manner for the purpose of witnessing the effect 
 it would produce; and it gave me no little rea- 
 son to exult in my being an immortal, and not 
 of that nature, which would make me ashamed 
 of my species. 
 
 My companies were now less numerous, and 
 my expenses more contracted. I did not, how- 
 ever, indulge much in family parties, for sev- 
 eral reasons ; but from what I saw of such as 
 may be justly termed families, I perceived ma- 
 ny in the highest rank of life, who were not 
 more distinguished and ennobled by their birth, 
 than by the possession of honour and innocence, 
 and the cultivation of all those social virtues 
 and charities, that sweeten life, and give a se- 
 cret charm to social intercourse. 
 
 But these lovely qualities, though I might 
 admire, I was not born to enjoy. — My spirit 
 was for ever restless, and aiming at something 
 that no other living creature could, or perhaps 
 would, perform. How could a man of my in- 
 finite wealth (I won't say worth) find pleasure 
 in playing for hours, with dowagers, at sixpen- 
 ny whist? To me it was painfully mortifying; 
 and whenever I wanted such relaxation, I re- 
 paired to the gaming-house at which the great- 
 est sums were staked. In one of my visits to a 
 rendezvous of this description, a circumstance 
 occurred, which led to a deed, the only good 
 one of any note, which I recollect ever doing. 
 I will relate it. 
 
 The play was exceedingly high, when a 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 145 
 
 young gentleman entered the room and joined 
 ns. I was prodigiously fortunate that night» 
 and threw, after lie had began to set, fifteen 
 mains without intermission. He had constant- 
 ly increased his stake, and lost a large sum of 
 money. He became impatient, watched me nar- 
 rowly, and seemed to suspect foiil play. Con- 
 tinuing to lose, he suddenly seized my hand as 
 I was about to throw, and insisted on breaking 
 the dice to examine whetiier they were fair. 
 To this, conscious of my innocence, I readily 
 Agreed ; saying, however, that I thought his sus- 
 picion very Ungentlemanly. He made no reply> 
 but being satisfied they were not false, propo- 
 sed to play with me at one throw for the amount 
 of what he had lost. He appeared much vex- 
 ed at his crosses, and rather demanded that I 
 should give him this cliance of winning it back* 
 1 won — he seemed almost in desj)air — doubled 
 it again — ^'twas mine. He had no more. — I had 
 won about 30,0001. in money, and his estate, 
 which he said, giving me his address, he would 
 make over to me the next morning — he with- 
 drew. 
 
 There was something about the youth so in- 
 genuous and honest, (things I had seldom met 
 with even in gentlemen at the gaming table,) 
 that I resolved to inspect his character more 
 closely,and not to keep his money unless I found 
 him so attached to gambling, as to be determin- 
 ed not to keep it himself. 
 
 The infoTmation I collected, was of the most 
 favourable kind. — I learned that his name was 
 13 
 
146 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 Mr. De Courcey, a young gentleman of uncom- 
 mon integrity and private worth; and who was 
 not attached to, but of late, had become a fre- 
 quent visiter of the gaming-table. — I waited on 
 him the next day according to his appointment, 
 and was instantly introduced into the breakfast- 
 room. It was two o'clock — He was lying on a 
 sopha with his hair dishevelled and his clothes 
 disordered. His wife, a beautiful young wo- 
 man, sat at the further end of the room, weep- 
 ing over two fine boys, their children, — and 
 the breakfast-things stood untouched in the 
 middle. 
 
 The moment I entered, he started iip, assum- 
 ed an air of consequence, and desired his wife 
 in rather a severe tone, to take the children 
 away. He then turned to me and said, "You 
 are, I apprehend. Sir, come to make the trans- 
 fer — We'll proceed about it immediately." 
 
 I should have been surprised at his coolness, 
 if I had not been convinced that it was affected. 
 
 ^^ Yes sir," I replied, "I am here, according 
 to your desire, but in no hurry to be made mas- 
 ter of vour estate. — Indeed I wish not to have 
 it." 
 
 "Not have it!" he exclaimed. "I have no 
 equivalent to give you, and you must have it." 
 
 "Not so," said I. "You have an equivalent 
 that I will accept, instead." 
 
 ^^Nameit!'' he ejaculated. "But," added 
 he, seriously, ** beware, sir, how you propose 
 any thing dishonourable to me!" 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 147 
 
 "The equivalent I mean," said Ij "is your 
 friendship." 
 
 He looked at me with surprise. 
 
 "I know," continued I, "that you are not 
 addicted to gaming " 
 
 "No! no!" interupted he, bursting into 
 tears, "that I am not. — But my passsions are 
 warm, and one night has ruined me!" 
 
 "Indeed it has not," I rejoined, "and if you 
 will give me, instead of your estate, a bond that 
 you will never play again at hazard, I will do 
 more than restore you all you have lost." 
 
 "Generous man!" he exclaimed, "how did 
 I wrong you, when I caused the dice to be ex- 
 amined!" 
 
 He now proceeded to swear he would never 
 touch a die again, but refused my offer to the 
 full extent. I expostulated with him, and at 
 last getting the liberty to sit down and write a 
 bond relinquishing his estate, I wrote a draft 
 for sixty thousand pounds at the bottom, and. 
 folding up the letter, left the room with these 
 words — 
 
 ** Remember, sir, although I have purchased 
 your friendship, I shall never use or call it mine, 
 unless you receive the price I have set upon it." 
 
 Some of my readers may say, this was a sac- 
 rifice that cost me nothing, ])Ossessing as I did, 
 the power of multiplying gold at pleasure. I 
 have noticed the circumstance, but for the pur- 
 pose of shewing, that even in this laudabale act, 
 there was a degree of selfishness peculiar to my- 
 self. I was anxious to make an eiTort to rescue 
 
148 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 a worthy man from a folly that would work his 
 ruin; and, as I felt greatly prepossessed in his 
 favour, I was willing to see how the principle 
 or feeling of gratitude could be made the bond 
 of our future intimacy and friendship. I was 
 now, more than ever, extremely desirous to 
 have one man of sterling and undoubted worth 
 for my friend ; and trusted I had succeeded to 
 my utmost wishes. 
 
 I shall shortly lay down my pen, and resolve 
 never to compose another line. Happy had it 
 been for society, if I had made this resolution 
 the instant I left school. Indeed, all other ad- 
 ventures must necessarily be frigid and unin- 
 teresting, compared with those which I have 
 described. What a fate was mine! I was fated, 
 gentle reader, to turn philosopher and author?. 
 
 Finding that extravagance only attracted cox- 
 combs and knaves, and that men of sense and ge- 
 nius avoided it, I resolved to change my style 
 of living, and court the company of persons who 
 had distinguished themselves in literature. 
 
 I don't know how it is, but you cannot breathe 
 the same atmosphere as authors, without becom- 
 ing one.— The vice is catching! I found I must 
 be an author ! 
 
 Infidelity had now made rapid advances i 
 and becoming acquainted with a Mr. Allcraft> 
 who had lent it all the assistance in his power^i 
 he prompted me to give it my countenance and 
 support. 
 
 One very favourite scheme of his, I remem- 
 ber, was, the adoption qJ ^ »ew grder of things 
 
COUNT d'oiiveau. 149 
 
 for tlie government, regulation and welfare of 
 society ; by which a community of interests 
 might be, as he thought happily introduced, 
 which would in time, supersede the precepts 
 of religion, or the interference of civil authori- 
 ty. The precepts of the one, and authority of 
 the other, he considered as imposing too much 
 restraint on the human mind; aiid at the best, 
 calculated to weaken and impair its energies. 
 Marriage he considered as a mere matter of 
 convenience, which under his proposed form 
 of improved society, might be contracted or 
 dissolved when most convenient, without the 
 usual present interference of magistrates. In 
 short, I found, that a free and licentious indul- 
 gence of every natural propensity, was to be 
 the ultimate tendency of his visionary scheme. 
 
 But to return. — The subject he proposed at 
 first to me, I had, it will be recollected, studied 
 well, whilst I was in France, during the reign 
 of Robespierre ; and spurred on by my worthy 
 friend, I immediately composed from the ideas 
 floating in my brain (did I say brain? I beg 
 pardon) my head, two large quarto volumes. — 
 In which in the lawlessness of my imagination, 
 with a terrible pother about what nobody could 
 understand; namely. The absoluteness of ne- 
 cessity^ the perfeetibility of man. and the om- 
 nipotence of truth f I opposed all political and 
 moral order, and endeavoured to overturn eve- 
 ry system that time and experience had sanc- 
 tioned. The thought was in a great degree 
 new, and made considerable noise. Some, fond 
 13* 
 
150 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 of novelty, however prejudicial, applauded my 
 work, but others, who had the sense to reflect, 
 presently saw that /, who talked so much about 
 the omnipotence of truth, was all a lie. 
 
 After this, thinking from my political efforts, 
 that I was a good hand at fiction, I turned my 
 thoughts to novel writing. — These I wrote ii» 
 the same pompous inflated style as I had used 
 in my other publication, hoping that my high- 
 sounding periods would assist to make the un- 
 suspecting reader swallow all the insidious rea- 
 soning, absurdity, and nonsense, I could invent. 
 The plan succeeded for some time, but at last, 
 they burlesqued my works, and made me look 
 like a fool ! 
 
 CEA?. xir. 
 
 I resume my pen, after a long interval, du- 
 ring which, nothing worthy of note, beyond the 
 cultivation of a complete intimacy, began with 
 De Courcey, under such favourable auspices as 
 I have already related. In the progress of this 
 friendly intercourse, we had frequent conversa- 
 sations on various favourite topics of mine, in 
 which he reasoned with bold and manly energy; 
 
COUNT D^ORVEAU. 1^1 
 
 and, I cannot tell how it was, but he most gen- 
 erally succeeded in gradually overcoming my 
 false reasoning, and often produced conviction 
 of error where I thought myself almost invul- 
 nerable. 
 
 I had passed several years in London, unmo- 
 lested in my enjoyments and pursuits, till at 
 length every amusement served to excite no 
 other feelings but those of satiety and disgust. 
 A restless desire for some ungratified or fancied 
 want continually haunted me. I had formed a 
 resolution of taking an excursion through some 
 of the principal towns, to dissipate the gloomy 
 thouglits and apprehensions which now affected 
 mC; when I received a pressing invitation from 
 De Courcey, to visit him at his estate, and assist 
 him in some projected improvements; where 
 he had been for some time, deeply ingagcd in 
 their completion. I immediately concluded my 
 arrangements, and discharged all my servants, 
 but one, who by his faithfulness and attention 
 had gained my regard and confidence. 
 
 The night preceding my departure, when 1 
 went to bed I fell asleep in excellent health and 
 spirits; but soon awoke from my slumber in the 
 utmost consternation and horror. I had been 
 disturbed by a dream, whose dreadful subject 
 was heightened by a minutiveness and circum- 
 stantiality seldom to be observed in these 
 
 "Fickle pensioners of Morpheus' train." 
 
 It was some minutes before I could recollect 
 myself, or feel assured of my actual safety: but 
 
152 ADVENTURES OP 
 
 at length, recalling my weakened energies, I 
 smiled at my vain fears, and once more compo- 
 sed myself to rest. I slept; and again the same 
 vision was repeated to me with added terror. X 
 thought, that I was travelling through a beau- 
 tiful country, fresh with verdure, and rich in 
 cultivation ; when, as I journeyed on, exulting 
 in the gaiety and beauty which shone around 
 me, the prospect suddenly changed; the green 
 hills and smiling valleys were transformed into 
 a bleak and barren heath ; dark clouds obscured 
 the heavens, and night suddenly came on, ac- 
 companied with a stillness that made me shud- 
 der. I moved onwards, and presently reached 
 a building, which, at first bore the appearance 
 of a church ; but as I approached nearer, prov- 
 ed to be an inn. I entered tlie gate which led 
 to the house, and found the greatest difficulty 
 in proceeding. Sometimes my feet seemed fas- 
 tened to the ground, or when raised, all power 
 of volition was suspended ; when I did advance, 
 which was without any apparent exertion of m.y 
 own, I stumbled an hundred times over imped- 
 iments which appeared to lie in my path, the 
 nature of which I could not discover, on account 
 of the extreme darkness. Still, with that blind- 
 ness and obstinacy which usually characterizes 
 the dreamer, I continued to advance, until at 
 last, the moon shining out, I found myself stand-^ 
 ing alone in a church-yard, and casting my eyes 
 upon a grave-stone before me, I beheld 
 
 "REGINALD COUNT d'oRVEAU." 
 
 sculptured on the marble! Struck with sur- 
 
COUNT D^ORVEAU. 153 
 
 prise, I looked again, but it was no longer there; 
 and, passing through the church-yard, which 
 offered no obstruction to my steps, I entered 
 the inn. 
 
 The vision then became confused, and noth- 
 ing was clearly defined, until I found myself in 
 my chamber. Here a sensation of fear seemed 
 to hang upon me ; and I was oppressed with a 
 feeling of intense expectation. Still the church- 
 yard appeared as a prominent feature in the 
 scene. The room seemed surrounded with win. 
 dows, yet all presented the same ghastly spec- 
 tacle, of graves and tombstones, gleaming white 
 in the moonshine; which seemed, as I gazed 
 upon them, to gape beneath my eyes. 
 
 At last I went to bed, but I had scarcely laid 
 my head upon the pillow, when the door of my 
 chamber was slowly opened, and I beheld a fig- 
 ure in whom I recognized the landlord of the 
 inn, advancing towards me with a knife in his 
 hand ; and followed by another figure holding 
 a lantern. 
 
 Agonized by fear, I strove to shriek for help 
 and mercy; but my tongue refusing to perform 
 its office, clave to the roof of my mouth. At 
 this crisis, my agitation awoke me, and I found 
 myself sitting upright in bed; cold drops were 
 hanging on my brow, and I trembled as if in au 
 ^gue fit. Nor were my feelings less unpleas- 
 ing after the first agitation was subsided. The 
 ehurch-yard and the dagger still haunted my 
 imagination ; and, as I lay in silent darkness, a 
 thousand fearful t^les arose to my remembrance^ 
 
154 ADVENTURES OP 
 
 of travellers who had fallen by the hands of 
 assassins, and others who had strangely disap- 
 peared from the highway, and whose fate was 
 yet shrouded in silence and mystery. 
 
 At length, rousing myself from these sombre 
 meditations^ I made a solemn resolution to 
 
 "Dream no more," 
 
 and falling into a peaceful and undisturbed 
 slumber, I awoke next morning, without a trace 
 of the childish feelings which had so lately agi- 
 tated me. The information I received on aris- 
 ing, however, did not increase my exhilirationr 
 I had determined to make the journey on horse- 
 back, attended by my favourite servant; but, 
 to my great vexation, I found that he had been 
 suddenly taken ill in the course of the night, 
 and was now totally unable to accompany me. 
 There was not time to procure another attend- 
 ant, and I was obliged to advance alone. 
 
 The loss of my companion at first threw a 
 damp upon my spirits ; but the beauty of the 
 morning, and the gaiety of the scene, soon re- 
 stored my mind to its wonted serenity; and I 
 rode gaily along, enjoying the fresh air and the 
 bright sunshine. 
 
 I passed the city ; and now the appearance 
 of the country, and all the thousand enchant- 
 ments, which even the chill wind and rustling 
 leaves of autumn can confer, were mine. A 
 train of elevating and grateful feelings arose to 
 my mind, as I anticipated an approaching meet- 
 ing with the only man I had ever found worthy 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 155 
 
 of real esteem, and from whom I had, by various 
 causes, been absent for some time. It was not 
 till some time after the commencement of my 
 journey, that my thoughts reverted to my dream, 
 which had so fearfully and unaccountably dis- 
 turbed me the night before. I smiled at the 
 recollection of my terrors, and wondered how I 
 could have been so strongly affected; yet, not- 
 withstanding the contempt, and even shame 
 with which I now regarded my foolish terrors, 
 I could not help exclaiming, 
 
 "Can such things be, 
 And overcome us like a summer's cloud. 
 Without our special wonder f" 
 
 Though I succeeded in some measure, to dis 
 sipate any painful impression that might arise, 
 I yet could not dwell upon the circumstances 
 of the vision, without a certain sensation of awe; 
 nor prevent a secret hope that my lodging for 
 the next night might not border upon a grave- 
 yard. Nay, I even determined, that this should 
 not happen ; and that I would cautiously avoid 
 every inn from which a tomb-stone should be 
 visible. Not that I was by any means super- 
 stitious; on the contrary, I believe there arc 
 few people as free from that error as myself. I 
 only avoided the fulfilment of my dream so far, 
 lest it should excite a repetition of the night- 
 mare, and that I should be sorry for. Having 
 thus formed, and above all, accounted for my 
 resolution, I dismissed the subject from my 
 thoughts, and proceeded as gaily as ever. 
 
156 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 The sun was now fast declining, and evening 
 began to close in. I loitered, and watched the 
 orb of day as it set behind the distant hills; and 
 then, having lingered till the last streak of light 
 disappeared from the horizon, I quickened my 
 pace towards a village which appeared at a lit- 
 tle distat¥:e, and where, my horse being some- 
 what fatigued, I hoped to obtain quarters for 
 the night. The shades of evening were falling 
 thick around me as I entered the village; the 
 chill blast of a November night moaned through 
 the trees. It was a lonely place; and I began 
 to doubt, from its wretchedness of appearance* 
 if it would afford accommodation for myself and 
 horse. At length, I thought I could discern a 
 sign- post in the distance; I spurred on, and 
 soon became convinced that I approached some 
 house of entertainment; but as I came nearer, 
 a slight turning in the road presented another 
 object. I started, and for a few moments, felt 
 more than 1 liked to own, even to myself. ^*^Was 
 it possible? No! it cannot be; the twilight has 
 deceived met" but a few paces convinced me 
 it was no delusion, — for exactly opposite to my 
 intended lodging, stood the village church, with 
 the usual accompaniments of graves and tomb^ 
 Stones. 
 
 My immediate impulse was to pass the house 
 without further hesitation ; but recovering from 
 my first surprise, I now began to reason with 
 myself on the folly and impropriety of suffering 
 my imagination to be So operated upon, as td 
 decline the shelter which was thus offered me^ 
 
COUNT d'ouveau. 157 
 
 and whicli the situation of my liorse rendered 
 almost necessary : while by proceeding, I risk- 
 ed the chance of being benighted in a part of 
 the country entirely unknown to me. And what 
 motive could I assign for acting thus? A dream 
 forsooth! a night-mare, occasioned by a dis- 
 turbed mind, or a hearty supper! No, I would 
 not allow myself to be led away by every turn 
 of a distempered fajicy. I resolved to enter 
 the inn. 
 
 By the time this manly resolution was adopt- 
 ed, I had arrived at the place of my destina- ^ 
 tion ; where, having examined the house, my ♦ Jl^|w 
 determination began to waver. It was situated 
 quite at the extremity of the village, and rath- 
 er apart from any other habitation. Whether 
 it was really so, or that the distempered state 
 of my nerves influenced my judgment, I know 
 not, but it certainly appeared to me, that the 
 place wore an aspect of seclusion and gloom, 
 very unlike the air of cheerful comfort whicii 
 usually characterizes an inn. ^'It is a mean 
 looking place,'*' said I, ^'and the accommoda- 
 tions will be wretched.*' I looked again at the 
 church-yard, and became every moment more 
 strongly convinced of the ill fare of its opposite. 
 ^•It is a miserable place; I doubt indeed if I 
 should be able to obtain a bed here: it is evi- 
 dently little more than a hedge ale-house; and 
 it would only be putting them to inconvenience 
 if I attempt to stop." 
 
 I was startled in these meditations by a dis- 
 mal sound, harsh and discordant. "A murdcr- 
 14 
 
158 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 er hanging in chains, perhaps." No, it was on- 
 ly the creaking of the sign over my head, as the 
 wind impelled it upon its rusty hinges. The 
 owner of the house now came forward ; a fero- 
 cious looking fellow, with an expression of sul- 
 len malignity in his countenance. He looked 
 as if he had not been shaved for a month ; and 
 his manners, if not decidedly uncivil, were so 
 disagreeable, that if my resolution had not be- 
 fore began to falter, the sight of him soon over- 
 threw it entirely. I enquired the distance to 
 the nearest town, which I found to be very tri- 
 fling: I spurred my jaded horse, and the church- 
 yard, the gloomy inn, and the ferocious inn- 
 keeper, were soon left far behind. 
 
 CHAP. XVI. 
 
 Fate now seemed to atone for her former 
 unpropitious treatment; — after riding about 
 half a mile, I reached a town whose cheerful 
 appearance afforded a contrast the most stri- 
 king to the lonely village I had just quitted. 
 The inn, a pleasant-looking place, stood sur- 
 rounded by other houses, and nothing like a 
 church-yard was to be descried. Rejoicing in 
 my good fortune, I dismounted and entered the 
 house: I was conducted into a room whose na- 
 turally pleasant aspect was now heightened by 
 the blaze of a cheerful fire. The attendants 
 
COUNT d'oRVEAU. 159 
 
 were civil, the supper excellent; aud, as I en- 
 joyed the luxury of my present situation, I 
 blessed the friendly vision, which, by exciting 
 my apprehensions, however unnecessarily, had 
 induced me to exchange a bad lodging for one 
 so full of comfort and convenience. 
 
 The evening passed rapidly away by means 
 of the usual accompaniments of a solitary night 
 at an inn, eating and yawning ; and, at ten 
 o^'clock, I desired to be shewn to my apartment. 
 As I looked round the pleasant chanjber into 
 which I was conducted, my mind again revert- 
 ed to the lonely inn, and its appearance of des- 
 olation and misery; but although confessing the 
 superiority of the place I had chosen, and nev- 
 er for a moment repenting my choice, I yet 
 could scarcely help blushing, as the events of 
 the day passed in review before me. In my 
 present state of ease and security, my spirits 
 exhilirated and my limbs at rest, I marvelled 
 that my mind could have been disturbed, or my 
 actions controlled by a cause so trivial and 
 childish; and the result of these my calm med- 
 itations, w^as, a secret resolution of never dis- 
 closing the circumstance to a single human be- 
 ing. 
 
 I now began to prepare myself for bed : while 
 thus engaged, my attention was attracted by 
 the moon, which, shining in the clear lustre of 
 an autumnal night, shed a stream of radiance 
 through an aperture of the window-curtain. 
 Attracted by its beauty, I approached the win- 
 dow, to take a more distinct view of the fair 
 planet; when, on drawing aside the curtain, I 
 
160 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 stood transfixed in shuddering horror, for a 
 cemetery lay liefore me, where the moon was 
 gleaming white upon grave and tombstones with 
 a brilliancy which rendered every object as 
 clear as if I beheld it in open day-light! For 
 a few moments I felt completely unnerved; the 
 dream was again before me, and I dwelt upon 
 its strange fulfilment, until my blood seemed 
 curdling in my veins; and I turned from the 
 window, unable to endure the ghastly prospect 
 it presented to my view. 
 
 The loneliness of my situation, the church- 
 yard, all seemed accomplished ; all but the 
 dreadful conclusion of the vision. I looked 
 around in gloomy despondency, till, overcome 
 by the horrors my imagination conjured up, I 
 resolved to leave the house, and had actually 
 quitted my chamber for that purpose; prefer- 
 ring every alternative to passing the night in 
 my present situation. But the order and quiet 
 which seemed to reign throughout the building, 
 only disturbed at intervals by the laughter of 
 some loiterers at the bar, once more recalled 
 me to the absurdity of my apprehensions: and, 
 chiding myself for this cowardice, I returned 
 to my room, with a full determination of driv- 
 ing the dream from my remembrance, and sleep- 
 ing in peace. 
 
 As a proof of my assumed courage, I advan- 
 ced boldly to the window — gazed with a steady 
 eye upon the scene without — admired the moon 
 — made a few observations upon the effects of 
 light and shade — and ended by whistling a tune 
 most perseveringly, from begining to end. 
 
COUNT d'ouveau. 161 
 
 Still I did not neglect taking every piecau- 
 mion in my power against the possibility of a sur- 
 prise; I fastened my door, carefully examined 
 every part of my room, and having prepared 
 my pistols, laid them by the side of my bed. 
 But notwithstanding the firmness of my resolu- 
 tion, I could not think of actually lying down, 
 without a slight feeling of awe ; nay, I had de- 
 termined to pass the night in an arm-chair: but 
 this idea I soon abandoned, as too unreasonable 
 to be indulged in. After some further musing, 
 I retired to bed, leaving the light still burning. 
 ( Overcome by fatigue, I soon fell asleep ; but my 
 slumbers were broken and uneasy. From tliese 
 I was at length awakened abruptly by a noise 
 which sounded close to, if not actually within, 
 my chamber. The agitated state of my mind, 
 which all my philosophy had not quite succeed- 
 ed in calming, rendered every accidental sound 
 a subject of apprehension: and I listened atten- 
 tively, but all was again silent. I concluded, 
 that the disturbance which, in the confusion of 
 my thoughts on awakening, I fancied so near, 
 had. in reality.arisen from the departure of some 
 of the guests. 
 
 My slumbers appeared to have been of some 
 continuance, for the light was now expiring; 
 and its fitful gleam, as the blue flame rose and 
 fell in the socket, mingled unpleasantly with the 
 broad light of the moon. I was summoning up 
 energy to rise and extinguish it, when I was 
 again startled by the same sound which had 
 awoke me. The lamp had given its last faint 
 14* 
 
162 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 Struggle, like a troubled soul clinging to the life , 
 it is about to leave forever, when another lighf 
 mingled with the pale moonshine, and I now 
 perceived that it glimmered through a door 
 which had been so carefully concealed, that it 
 had entirely escaped my observation, but which 
 was now slowly and cautiously opened. 
 
 Doubting if I were not still under the influ- 
 ence of a dream, I fixed my steady gaze upon 
 the aperture, which continued gradually and 
 silently to widen ; and I soon became aware that 
 I was no longer the sole inhabitant of the cham- 
 ber. The light, however, would not permit 
 me to discover the number of my adversaries; 
 and being ignorant how many I had to cope 
 witli. I committed myself to the protection of 
 heaven, and placing my hand upon one of the 
 pistols, remained perfectly still, awaiting the 
 approach of the murderers, (for such I was con- 
 vinced they were) with firmness and cool reso- 
 lution. They paused, and whispered together 
 for a few moments: and then, with slow and 
 noiseless steps, approached my bed. There 
 were two men; and the foremost, as they ap- 
 proached, bid the other in an audible whisper, 
 "^Hold up the lantern." As he did so, I per- 
 ceived its dim light gleaming upon a knife 
 which the leader held in his hand. They were 
 now within a few paces of me, and on the event 
 of that moment depended my fate — I fdt that 
 it did so; and, rousing up every energy to 
 my assistance, I raised the pistol with a firm 
 hand, and in the next moment the foremost lay 
 weltering in liis blood. The other immediately 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 163 
 
 fled; — springing from my bed, I found that my 
 aim had been surely taken — the bullet having 
 penetrateJl the heart of the assassin. I stripped 
 off his mask, and was transfixed with astonish- 
 ment and horror, when I found my intended 
 murderer to be — the landlord of the inn ! 
 
 I was startled from my trance of awe-struck 
 amazement, by a sudden tumult of voices with- 
 out, and a loud knocking at the front door of the 
 inn. I seized my other pistol, determined to 
 meet whatever dangers might present them- 
 selves, with a bold and manly front. The door 
 was suddenly burst open, and I heard the sound 
 of many feet ascending the stairs and approach- 
 ing my chamber, the door of which was forced 
 open, and exhibited me in the attitude of reso- 
 lute despair. Suddenly,one of the party sprung 
 forward into the room — I caught his features in 
 the moonshine — the pistol dropped from my 
 hand — it was De Courcey — I fell into his arms. 
 
 "Good Heaven!'' cried he, ^*is it possible? 
 are you safe? — rouse thee — speak to me." 
 
 I could only answer, "Oh! 'twas a fearful 
 dream I" 
 
 Lights were now procured, and the commo- 
 tion brought the other inmates of the house to 
 my chaml)er, when I related the circumstances 
 of the mysterious warning which had brought 
 about this catastrophe to the landlord. 
 
 '•But," said I, turning to De Courcey. "how 
 am I to account for your timely presence, and 
 how are you connected with my wonderful es- 
 cape?" 
 
 "Be not surprized at that;" said he, "but 
 
164 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 consider your present escape alone, as a special 
 intervention of a mysterious Providence. I am 
 now satisfied you are safe, and vvill'relate the 
 causes that have produced this unexpected 
 meeting. Myself and two servants were una- 
 voidably detained to a late hour, at a place some 
 miles distant; and, my presence being required 
 early in the morning at my seat, I concluded, 
 as the night was fine, to hasten homewards im- 
 mediately, which I might reach several hours 
 before daylight. As we approached this house, 
 we heard a pistol-shot fired, which seemed to 
 bode ill, and startled us all, besides exciting 
 strange suspicions, as the reputation of this 
 house is none of the best. Suddenly, we saw 
 a man come from the rear of the house, stealing 
 cautiously along in the shade. Suspecting him 
 as the author or agent of some foul play, we at 
 once rushed on, and seized him. In his confu- 
 sion, he dropt some expressions hastily, which 
 warranted us in securing him: our next efforts 
 were to enter the house, to learn the extent of 
 the mischief on foot, and, if possible, prevent 
 it. But, conceive my astonishment, to find you 
 here, engaged in arresting the arm of the mid- 
 night robber, and punishing foul and treacher- 
 ous murder!" 
 
 "My valued friend!" I said, "the events of 
 to-night are so strange and mysterious — so link- 
 ed with other circumstances, thoughts and im- 
 pressions, that I am almost stupified with won- 
 der. I wish you to examine the wretch whom 
 you have arrested, now detained in the next 
 room, in order to assist me in the solution of a 
 
COUNT D^ORVEAU. 165 
 
 very curious enigma, which has, for the last two 
 nights and part of yesterday, completely be- 
 wildered all my faculties, and almost made me 
 doubt my own existence." 
 
 The assistant murderer was now brought in ; 
 and in the presence of us all, examined. On 
 removing the blacking from his face, I discov- 
 ered him to be the identical, ruflian-looking 
 fellow, whom I had met on the evening before, 
 at the door of the suspicious-looking inn. He 
 confessed to having formed the plan to rob me, 
 previous to my leaving London ; that, from the 
 circumstance of discharging all my servants, he 
 concluded, from what he knew of my splendid 
 way of living, I must have much money with 
 me : that after I had declined entering his own 
 house for the night, he brought intelligence to 
 the landlord of this inn, where he had several 
 years before, been employed, and was then en- 
 gaged with him in the robbery and muixler of a 
 gentleman, whose diappearance had never been 
 accounted for. With his former master he now 
 united in the plan of murdering me this night, 
 and which had now so unaccountably ended in 
 defeat, punishment, and exposure. 
 
 He was then conveyed to a place of security, 
 and afterwards suffered the penalty attached to 
 his crimes. 
 
 Thus was my dream in every respect acconi- 
 j)lished ; and, by attending to the mysterious 
 warnings it conveyed, I had escaped a terrible 
 fate, yet had executed just retribution on the 
 murderer. 
 
 In this adventure, I had undoubtedly expe- 
 
166 ADVENTUBES OF 
 
 rienced a signal and particular interposition of 
 Divine Providence ; but for what end or pur- 
 pose, was then beyond my comprehension. It 
 eventually produced much sober reflection and 
 discussion with De Courcey, to whom I related 
 every particular; and the result was, an abau' 
 donment of my once favourite doctrine of ne- 
 cessity, as false and erroneous, in principle and 
 practice. 
 
 CONCLUSION. 
 
 In the ensuing spring I agreed to accompa- 
 ny De Courcey to Vienna, where lie was sent 
 on public business. As much of his time was 
 employed in official duties, I amused myself at 
 first with some of the gaieties there ; but they 
 failed to produce the happiness I was now in- 
 cessantly seeking. On effecting the object of 
 his journey, De Courcey was anxious for me to 
 proceed with him to A enice, on private aff*airs, 
 where he would probably stay for two or three 
 months. I had particular objections against 
 such a visit on my part, but agreed to await his 
 return to Vienna, or apprize him of my remo* 
 val, should I adopt such a measure. 
 
 After his departure, I fell into fits of abstract 
 musing, dejection and despondency; to avoid 
 which, I took an excursion through part of the 
 Austrian dominions. By some strange and wn- 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 167 
 
 accountable infatuation^ I was induced to visit 
 Constance, the scene of my former poverty and 
 wretchedness. I intended, at first, to make a 
 very short stay here ; butj alas ! what are hu- 
 man resolutions? too often heedless, rash, and 
 
 stupid? Here I had once suffered all the 
 
 pains and privations of poverty; — here I had 
 first tried the magic effects of gold on my jail- 
 or ; and here I again found myself, after a long 
 lapse of years, neither wiser nor happier than 
 when I left it. What adventures, involutions 
 in views, opinions and feelings, had I since ex- 
 perienced ! The dreams of happiness and other 
 days came bright and vivid o er my spirit, like 
 midnight music, but ah ! 'twas only to awaken 
 in my soul the dark and chill emotions of regret 
 and mournful retrospection. 
 
 I now^ began to feel a disposition to avoid so- 
 ciety, and indulged in a pensiveness of temper, 
 which in some measure, was not unpleasing. I 
 hired a house and servants, near to Constance, 
 for a short time, where I determined to remain 
 till De Courcey returned from Venice. 
 
 Here, in spite of all my endeavours to the 
 contrary, I frequently caught myself pondering 
 and giving w'ay to doubts respecting the effica- 
 cy of my favourite elixir; and the more I re- 
 flected, my confidence was impaired in it. A 
 dull, creeping, listless langour, seemed to per- 
 vade my whole frame, and stupify my fiiculties. 
 Finding every attempt to rouse my drooping 
 spirits prove abortive, I felt at length constrain- 
 ed to send for a physician. What a comment 
 on my elixir of life ! ! ! 
 
168 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 It was at the close of a fine summer day, I 
 was seated at a window, meditating on an act 
 of deep-laid treachery, and unprovoked disho- 
 nesty in my favourite servant, who, a few hours 
 before, had absconded, and at the same time 
 carried off a large quantity of jewels, and some 
 cash contained in the same casket. Agitated 
 by a variety of conflicting emotions, I sat there 
 till it was almost dark ; on turning round to or- 
 der a light, I perceived a stranger standing 
 near me, muffled in a large, loose robe, with his 
 features entirely concealed; his entrance had 
 been effected so silently as to escape my notice. 
 Surprized, and somewhat alarmed at this un- 
 ceremonious visit, and unable to account for his 
 presence without alarming the servants, I start- 
 ed on my feet, and sharply demanded the cause. 
 He declined to answer, and I then roughly bid 
 him "Begone!" and at the same time calling to 
 one of my servants for a light. 
 
 Finding I was not obeyed in either of my 
 commands, I impatiently repeated my call, and 
 then, turning to the stranger, insisted on being 
 informed of the object of his present mysterious 
 behaviour. 
 
 ^* Count," said he, in a deep and hollow tone, 
 yet still concealing his face, ^^I am one, not 
 used to rude, repulsive language, like the pres- 
 ent; and deserve it not from you — you, who 
 have so long enjoyed my particular regard, and 
 on whom I have conferred important benefits." 
 
 *^^ Benefits!" I repeated, in a tone of bewil- 
 dered curiosity and amazement. What bene- 
 fits? If there is any obligation unsatisfied on 
 
 bk. 
 
COUNT D^ORVEAU. 169 
 
 part, name it at once, and it shall be instantly 
 discharged: but, I desire that an end be put to 
 all this mystery." 
 
 He then slowly drew aside his mantle, and 
 t^xposed to my view, (as much as the darkness 
 would permit) the features of the identical and 
 mystical stranger, who had imparted to me the 
 knowledge of those two fatal secrets, the bane 
 of happiness, and souiTcs of my present misery. 
 I started back in confusion mingled with terror, 
 and hastily exclaimed, *^Is it indeed possible! 
 or do I only dream!** 
 
 *• You see me,*' said he, coldly, "as I am. — 
 After what has passed, deem all things possi- 
 ble. I am here, to claim acknowledgment for 
 benefits conferred in by-gone days* vome mark 
 of gratitude to one abused and forgotten.*' 
 
 ''^Abused! forgotten! how? where? when?*' 
 said I fearfully. 
 
 '•Ask thyself;" he answered with indignant 
 scorn. ^'Was it kind or generous in you. to 
 thrust my body hastily into the thicket, when 
 you only thought me dead, without bestowing 
 one thought, or making inquiry afterwards, as 
 tbough I were an object then beneath your fur- 
 ther notice or regard? — this too. after such be- 
 <|uests as mine ; no common gifts, and bought 
 by me at no common price and hazard. The 
 period of their enjoyment, however, soon will 
 end, unless secured by some solemn pledge for 
 their renewal." 
 
 •'•What pledge?" I asktcd, rather boldly» 
 
 "•Follow me, and learn!" said he in a com* 
 15 
 
170 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 maiiding tone, and waving his hand towards the 
 door. 
 
 I felt my anger rising with my trepidation; 
 yet willing, if possible, to soothe this fearful 
 and incomprehensible being, thus shrouded in 
 darkness and mystery ; and who was now evi- 
 dently bent on some mischievous and malignant 
 end. "Let me know," I asked hesitatingly, 
 "for what purpose I must follow?" 
 
 ^^Ask not: — seek not to know what shall be 
 fully revealed hereafter. You were not wont 
 to be thus particular and inquisitive." he re- 
 ])lied, somewhat tauntingly. 
 
 After a pause, I said, with all the firmness I 
 was then master of, "No! — I will not follow. — 
 I 7nust know at least something of the purpose 
 and ultimate end of this visit." 
 
 ^^Pale, pusillanimous coward!" he cried, in 
 
 a voice of stifled anger. ^'^Do you falter? 
 
 Vile renegade! — such was not your cold, con- 
 .sideratc, and calculating policy, on our first ac- 
 quaintance. How eagerly you then sought me; 
 and when possessed of secrets dearer than your 
 own existence, you then fondly thought your- 
 self master of all that could gratify a distorted 
 fancy, or minister to a diseased and debased ap- 
 petite. Poor, weak fool I — with the possession 
 of endless wealth and immortality of frame, you 
 hoped exulting, to revel in profusion ; and felt 
 unscathed by reckless enjoyment, or licentious 
 indulgence. Have all these anticipations been 
 
 realized? No! — that care-worn frame, and 
 
 thoughtful countenance, are certain tell-tales of 
 a mortal agony and mental misery. " 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 171 
 
 '^Silence! doting greybeard!" I exclaimed. 
 ^* Begone! leave me to my wretchedness. '' 
 
 "Peace! weak, imbecile wretch!" he shout- 
 ed fiercely; and suddenly, his stature increased 
 to twice his former size. I felt an icy chill- 
 ness at my heart, and shuddered witli dread. 
 
 ^^Dost thou tamper with me?'' he continued, 
 in the same terrific tone and gesture. "Barest 
 thou delay? — Come! — attend me, or dread the 
 consequences! 1 — I will he obeyed P^ 
 
 *^0h! leave me;*' I cried imploringly, '^if 
 the renunciation of thy gifts will satisfy, take, 
 ()! take them back! — They have been to me 
 
 sources of disappointment and misery. No? 
 
 — I cannot, dare not follow." 
 
 ''Cannot! Dare notP'' he repeated, almost 
 
 choaked with fury. ^^Poor, fugitive outcast 
 
 of heaven and thy kind! A restless, cheerless, 
 hopeless wanderer on the earth ; afraid of man^ 
 
 and defying heaven by thy presumption. 
 
 Hear me ; and let the knowledge wither all thy 
 soul with agony. — Thy immortality of frame is 
 
 all — a dream! Aye, — dost tremble! — 'twas 
 
 a lure, to lead thee on to lawless riot and pro- 
 fusion, and the rank indulgence of depraved 
 
 appetites and fancies. Ha! ha! ha! Vile, 
 
 infatuated dupe! — Who will pity thee? — Un- 
 principled wretch! who with chilling apathy 
 and a heartless indifference, abandoned thy do- 
 mestic comforts, on the assurances of an utter 
 and a doubtful stranger. " 
 
 *^Art thou angel, man, or devil?" said I, 
 shuddering. — "Oh! mock me no more — taunt 
 me not — but leave me, I beseech thee." Then 
 
172 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 suddenly assuming a degree of confidence and 
 courage, I continued, ''From this spot I move 
 ijot with you. I will not peril my hopes of fu- 
 ture bliss, by further intercourse or parley, nor 
 thread the dark and thorny mazes of forbidden 
 things. Here, let us part? forever!^' 
 
 '•Ungrateful, execrable, contemptible pol- 
 troon!" he shouted, with a horrid yell of sav' 
 age ferocity. "Miserable, abandoned profli- 
 gate! Old age, imbecility, scorn, dejection, 
 and despair soon overtake thee! — The slow and 
 burning fever of agonizing retrospection haunt 
 thee ; no relative or friend, to soothe and miti- 
 gate thy woe.-— My proffered aid and counsel 
 
 are rejected, scorned. Well: be it so: and 
 
 Iienceforth reap the bitter fruit of obstinacy." 
 
 He turned away ; and with steps that shook 
 the building, slowly left the apartment. 
 
 I staggered to a seat, and remained for some 
 minutes, overwhelmed with apprehension and 
 dread. I could not account for the strangeness 
 of tliis visit nor conceive its purpose, unless it 
 were to draw me into some forbidden and un- 
 hallowed league, that in the end, would blight 
 my future peace, and fairest hopes. I was not 
 so much surprized to find him still living, but 
 more, that he had deferred this visit so long. 
 He possessed, I plausibly thought, the secret of 
 the elixir, and therefore, might have easily re^ 
 covered from an illness, that perhaps, was only 
 feigned, after I left him in the thicket; and I 
 now wondered this thought had never occurred 
 before. But then — ^there wei'^e certain tones 
 and expressions used in this last interview, that 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 173 
 
 created at the time, an idea of something super- 
 human; and the recollection stilJ produced an 
 undefinable feeling of dread. The thought was 
 horrible and oppressive: I shuddered, to think 
 how closely I had become connected with this 
 fearful being, who seemed endowed with more 
 than n>ortal powers, and all the nKiIignity of a 
 
 fiend. 1 reverted to the calamities he had 
 
 denounced; they seemed to be felt already by 
 anticipation: the bare idea, like a mighty ap- 
 l)arition, seemed to crush me to the eartli, for- 
 saken, hated, and despised. 
 
 I gradually recovered strength to rise, and 
 with difliculty procured a light. I wandered 
 about from room to room, like a spectre ; per- 
 ])lexed at the unusual absence of all my people ;: 
 tortured by a thousand contending emotions,, 
 and the wildest apprehensions. I thought oil' 
 the domestic, so long tried in fidelity, who had 
 committed the robbery, and the other, who wa?^ 
 now gone a suflicient length of time, for a phys- 
 ician, but had not yet returned. A terrifying 
 conjecture of hopeless abandonment and desola- 
 tion, overwltelmed me :^ — I felt weak and giddy 
 — I reached my bed, and fell on it in a state of 
 stupified insensibility. 
 
 *. * ^ * * 
 
 I have now, a faint, and indistinct recollec- 
 tion of a feeling like suffocation — a horrible and 
 petrifying sensation, as if slipping from the ex- 
 treme edge of a projecting and crumbling pre- 
 15* 
 
174 ^ ADVENTURES OF 
 
 cipice, down a vast, unfathomable abyss; my 
 descent hastened by eiforts to restrain my sink- 
 ing, in grasping at objects which were insensi- 
 l)le to the touch, or eluded my feeble grasp. I 
 tliought, at intervals, I could hear wild and sav- 
 age shouts of exultation, in which I recognized 
 the tones of my late visiter. Suddenly, my fal- 
 ling was impeded, followed by a roar and dash 
 of water — a gurgling sound rushed to my brain 
 — an icy chilhiess shot to my heart — and my 
 \\ liole frame seemed at once reduced to the size 
 of an atom, by the pressure of the dense and 
 ])OJiderous fluid, above and around me. I made 
 feeble, but useless elTorts to approach the sur- 
 face, in wliich I at last succeeded, and then at- 
 tempted to swim, and make towards the shore: 
 but all seemed one interminable waste of water, 
 o\ er which hung dark and offensive vapours, 
 filled with many odd, fantastic shapes and fig- 
 ures, that grinned, and mowed, and chattered 
 to each other with unfeigned delight. I felt 
 at last, my little strength entirely exhausted ; 
 and declined all further effort or exertion. A 
 perfect suspension of thought, feeling, and fiic- 
 ulty seemed to have taken place: all but the 
 harrowing and revolting idea of annihilation. 
 
 I now imagined I saw my body, floating on 
 the water, a stiff and pallid corse ; and a fierce 
 and terrible conflict ensued, for the spirit that 
 had just quitted it. Shrieks, and wild outcries 
 
 filled all the air. Overcome with terror, 
 
 I awoke, and the fir.^t objects that greeted my 
 bewildered gaze, were my servant, with the 
 physician he was directed to procure. 
 
175 
 
 I endeavoured to rise, but was unable ; my 
 next effort was to speak, and inquire where all 
 my people were. The doctor kindly restrain- 
 ed me ; but he assured me, all was right in that 
 respect, and that much depended on my pre- 
 serving tranquility. An opiate was then ad- 
 ministered, and I gradually sunk into a long, 
 profound, undisturbed slumber. 
 
 When I awoke the next day, I felt greatly 
 relieved; and was surprized and gratified, at 
 beholding De Courcey seated at my bed-side, 
 watching me with earnest solicitude. I pro- 
 nounced his name eagerly, and grasped his ex- 
 tended hand with fervour; as I did so, I ob- 
 served in his looks, strong marks of restrained 
 surprize. 
 
 •^^ What is the matter?" said I, ^Mias illness, 
 thought, and anxiety, so far wasted and altered 
 my appearance? Ah! — no wonder! — I have, 
 for these last few days, endured inexpressible 
 mental anguish, and some bodily weakness: but 
 1 am now much better. And, rest assured, I 
 feel very grateful for your kind attentions." 
 
 '•Do not speak of that," said he, '^ indeed, 
 you must not agitate yourself, by painfully ad- 
 verting to the cause of illness, which I hope will 
 be of short duration. I reached here, late last 
 night, much surprized to find you unwell ; but 
 your physician, a man of much skill, has assu- 
 red me, there is nothing serious to be feared at 
 present; a few days of quiet, will effect a com- 
 ])lete recovery. I regret, that unavoidable cir- 
 cumstances call me away, perhaps, for a day or 
 two. I leave yoU; however; in the care of my 
 
176 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 trusty valet. Pray, excuse my abrupt depart- 
 ure ; when I return, I hope to be the messenger 
 of pleasant intelligence. Adieu ! " 
 
 He pressed my hand, and with a smile of the 
 most captivating character, departed. 
 
 In the mean time, I grew better rapidly; yet 
 could not avoid occasionally adverting, in my 
 thoughts, to the look of surprise I noticed in Dc 
 Courcey, and remarked to him at the time. 
 
 ^•Can it be possible,'' said I, musing, '"that 
 illness has already made such rai)id inroads on 
 my features? — Nay, I will soon be satisfied." 
 I stepped to a mirror, — I started — Oh! agony 
 
 of conviction I my pale cheek, haggard eye, 
 
 and wrinkled forehead, gave at once, indisput- 
 able ])roof of fraud and imposition I — my elixir 
 was a cheat! and / had been the silly dupe. 
 
 It was some houi^, before I recovered fronV 
 my astonishment: but fimilly, I began to reason, 
 even calmly, on the folly of ever having serious- 
 ly indulged in such a delusion. I uas in some 
 degree, prepared for this, therefore, my feel- 
 ings were not so much excited, as they other- 
 wise would have been. As some consolation 
 too, I felt a strong and secret satisfaction, iu 
 the reflection, that I still retained the undoubt- 
 ed, and oft-tried art of producing gold. This 
 alone, would always be sufficient to alleviate the 
 misfortunes of what I now too sensibly felt, yet 
 tardily confessed, even to myself, approaching 
 infirmity and old age. 
 
 In less than two days, De Courcey returned ; 
 and then accounted for his abrupt departure. 
 
 On his way from Venice; he fell in with my 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 177 
 
 valet, who told him I was much indisposed^ and 
 intimated to him, that he was then bound on an 
 errand for me to Vienna. His not immediately 
 proceeding in that direction, however, created 
 some suspicion ; and, it was not till De Courcey 
 reached my house, that he learned the truth, to 
 which cause he imputed my illness, cautiously 
 refrainijig from speaking to me about it. With- 
 out apprizing any one of his designs, he imme- 
 diately adopted measures to arrest the fugitive, 
 and despatched messengers on the route he was 
 believed to have taken. 
 
 Just before I had awoke, he received certain 
 information, which induced him to leave me, so 
 suddenly as I have related. He had not ad- 
 vanced far, before he obtained news of the ar- 
 rest of the culprit. He returned immediately, 
 to inform me of the success of his sclieme : and 
 to accompany me to where the jewels were de- 
 posited in the hands of a magistrate, to be iden- 
 tified by me, as my property, 
 
 I tlianked De Courcey with a grateful heart; 
 and felt an increase of attachment to him. I 
 took his hand in mine, and after a short strug- 
 gle for compostu'c, I said, "My only friend! 
 this zeal, and delicacy of feeling in my behalf, 
 deserves more than common thanks : — yet what 
 avails it now, this paltry treasure, it claims not 
 my present regard. The pleasures of life, its 
 hopes, its wishes and desires, with all the airy 
 visions of a restless spirit, are fading fast around 
 me. The veil of self-delusion has dixjpped be- 
 fore my eyes, and I begin to view myself now, 
 as I ought, and really am." 
 
178 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 He looked at me with astonishment: — after 
 a pause, he said, "Come, come; you must not 
 talk thus. Banish these thoughts, I pray you." 
 
 ^^No, no!" I said, "these are the fruits of 
 solemn, unavoidable conviction. It is fit I now 
 recant my error, and avow deception." 
 
 ^^ Deception!" he echoed, "Count D'Orveau 
 an imposter! Oh, no! impossible! Cease, my 
 dear Count, I entreat you ; do not distress me, 
 with language like the present." 
 
 "•Sir," said I firmly, '•! would not have you 
 still in error, when 1 have myself been unde- 
 ceived. What I now tell you, justice, and your 
 
 character require. Hear me, and judge. 
 
 Oh ! — I have trifled with my soul's everlasting 
 felicity, and risked that inestimable jewel, for 
 what at last has yjroved a mockery, a self-delu- 
 sion. — Wretch that lam! long, long years of 
 penitential sorrow cannot, I fear, atone for out- 
 rages so gross and palpable as mine." 
 
 " Say not so :"' said De Courcy, in a softened 
 tone, "heaven's mercy is unbounded, free to 
 all. Your fancy magnifies some error now, be- 
 yond its proper bulk. — Man's whole existence 
 is little more than a series of follies, fancies and 
 extravagancies: he is wise, and will be accept- 
 ed, who awakens to a timely conviction ; and 
 atones by repentance and ample reparation." 
 
 "Reparation!" I repeated, — "no, no, — my 
 offence admits not of such a remedy. — Think 
 not that I am now giving way to the dreams of 
 an over-heated brain: — no, I am perfectly calm, 
 collected and unclouded." 
 
COUNT d'orveau. 179 
 
 He signified his attention, by a look of un- 
 feigned wonder and astonishment. 
 
 I proceeded. *^ When you first knew me, I 
 was flushed with health and apparent youth. — 
 
 Alas! vain delusion! 1 then believed myself 
 
 master of the long-sought elixir of life. Con- 
 stantly acting under the impulse of that impres- 
 sion, I formed a thousand schemes, and acted 
 many pranks, worthy of my folly. Thus self- 
 deluded, much of my past life seems like a fit- 
 ful dream, marvellous, confused, and obscured. 
 But, my late illness, and other circumstances, 
 not necessary to be mentioned now, have at last 
 dissolved the charm. Nothing remains, but re- 
 gret, shame, and mortification. 
 
 ^•At the time I became owner of this suppo- 
 sed secret, I was also made possessor of the phi- 
 losopher's stone, — nay, look not so incredulous : 
 in this, there has been no delusion. This has 
 been too often successfully tested. Look at this 
 ring on my finger: it contains a stone of such 
 wonderful power, tliat whatever I touch with 
 it, is instantly changed to gold. To convince 
 you, I will now exhibit its virtues." 
 
 I felt a burning sensation in my finger, and 
 as I looked at my hand, saw the stone glowing 
 like a carbuncle. De Courcey gazed with mute 
 and breathless astonishment: a dark film floated 
 before my eyes. Eager to give him at once, an 
 occular proof of its powers, I touched a small 
 book which was lying before me; but, (0, ago- 
 ny of disappointment!) it remained unchanged! 
 — I repeated the trial, with the same ill-suc- 
 cess. Furious with passion, I started up, tore 
 
180 ADVENTURES OF, &C» 
 
 the ring from my finger, and dashed it to the 
 earth with all my energy and strength. 
 
 A deep and fearful silence prevailed, follow- 
 ed by a plaintive moaning, like the chill hum 
 of winter's blast. Suddenly, the whole build- 
 ing shook to its foundation — a loud, hoarse yell 
 of savage laughter was heard — my senses reel- 
 ed: — overwhelmed with shame, mortification, 
 and terror, I fell lifeless in De Courcey's arms. 
 
 '^ T^ Tjv 7fr vfv 
 
 Some weeks elapsed, of painful mental suf- 
 fering ; and, at length, I found myself in Eng^ 
 land, beneath the roof and fostering care of De 
 Courcey — a poor, feeble, broken-hearted old 
 man, secluded and unknown. He claimed his 
 own exclusive right to me; and I retained not 
 power or will, to mar his kind intentions. 
 
 Under all the weight of my afiiictions, it is 
 soothing to my wounded spirit, that all these 
 marked attentions, are the fruit of lasting and 
 unfeigned guatitude. 
 
 Reader, I liere close the historv of my event' 
 ful life:— ' ■ 
 
 "I have liv'd long enough: my way of life 
 Is fall'n into the sear, the yellow leaf: 
 And that which should accompany old age, 
 As honour, love> obedience, troops of friends, 
 I must not look to have." 
 
 THE END. 
 
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