DUKE UNIVERSITY LIBRARY Treasure %oom THE LIBRARY* 1789 Class E.3iQ Book 4. fiUPtiCATT ^UBRAinr CtMGRESS ,^ ^S \'' i GAZETTE ^ PUBLICATIONS. \ fe ^ , . • ■■ By H. H. BRACKENRIDGE. ColLEClSSE JVVAT- PRINTED BY ALEX.\NDER & PHILLIPS, 1806. '7^^ ' ^ fntrotiuction^ THE motto of this collection is taken from the poet Horace ; and I am thmkinr of his expression in another place, ' Non Omnis rnoriar ' But I do not flatter myself that my me- moi^ will survive me bnfj. It is suiHcient ; at le'ast, it is tlie utmost that I can expect, that it can survive a few years* And even this not Without some pains to make it live. For I do not conceive myself to be, ^^^hat I will ac- knowledge, I ^vas once disposed to think myself, a thing endued w^ith faculties above the capacity of ordinaiy mortals. But had it not been that I had some idea of this kind, I ^ would not have made die exertions that I liave y '^ made. For since the discover}'- of mv m.is- -- take, I feel myself sinking into indolence ; » and considering only how I shall get through I Pf the \^'orld, the small remainder of it that lies 1 on hands. It is of little consequence to me n.;^vhat naankind think of my talents, provided I can get ease, and quiet living. It may seem 4 INTRODUCTION. then strange that I should collect this trash,, and put it together in a volume. It is not with a view to a long period of posthumous existence, but that of a few years, amongt my immediate descendants, who may take fcome little pride in preserving the memory / of a literar}^ man, and tliis for their owti sakes y for tliough my fame must fall short of giv^ig lustre to a country, yet it may throw a little liQ^ht on a small circle of immediate descend- ants ; and endure, perhaps, for a generation after I am gone. By a generation I do not mean an}' determinate number of years ; but the age of a child wlio may preserve a voknne of tlifese publications. For as to grand child.- ren, I give it up. I shall not be remember, ed by tliem. So far am I from anticipating immortality, m the language of Poets, that I think 20 years Avill about do ; and I am ire- signed to this, finding that with all the paius i have taken, I can malie no better of it. ^ut v»ho could know^ unless he had tried ? .But I am willing to give myself tlie best diance, even for the few years of recollection that ma}' be in m.y powxr to add to my name*.— Mcmoriam nostri quam maxume longam INTRODUCTION. 5 cilicere. I feel some regret that I have lost many things occasionally written, and thro^\Ti by in manuscript, or appearing in fugitive pamphlets in print. Some of them, ^\hich is not saying much, probably better than any thing which is preserved. I ha\^e no idea that this volume or any part of it will be re- published, but it is something to ha\^e seen the light at all, or to have born to be collect- ed ; this I do not believe it ^\'ill do, so as to defray the expences of printing ; but it may go a certain length towards it ; and the self- love of the authour must supply the rest. Who knows after all but that even an hun- dred years hence a copy of tliis impression may be found in, an old librar}^. among scarce books, and be valued because it is the only one remainins:. It has been alwavs a matter of amusement to me to be rummaging a- mongst old and scarce books, to see in ^vhat manner the human mind had -employed itself in times past. It is astonishing to thLik on v/hat a variety of subjects books have been published since the art of printing has been invented. I remember to have heiu'd old A 2 ^ I'NTRODUCTIOK. Doctor John Witherspoon,- Principal of thc^ Jersey College, make this remark, and sSy that he wsls particularly struck with this in looking over an old librar}^ in Britain, and finding a Treatise in Latin '' De humani capitis Cassai'ie.'^ It is ti'ue, what I have collected here con- sists of nothing but shreds ; but I have beerf always fond of miscellanies, and it was not so much the value, as the variety that pleased me. Hence it is that I have supposed these scraps may aftbrd some amusement ; especi- ally if they are accompanied with observati- ons, as they occasionally will be, which will tlirow some light upon the affairs of men, and tlie historv of the time. Gazette Publications. XT was in the spiing of the year 1781, that lear- iug the city of Philadelphia I crossed the Alleghany mountain, and took my residence in the town of Pittsburgh ; *' If to^\Ti it might be call'd that to-wii was none, t' Distinguishable by house or street ." But in fact a few old buildings, under the walls of a- Garn>on, which stood at the junction of two rivers. Nevertheless it appeared to me as what would one day be a town of note, and in the mean time might be pushed fonvard.by the usual means that raise such places. Two or three years had elapsed and some progress had been made in improvement when a Gazette was established at this place for the western country, and one of my earliest contiibutions was the following, intended to give some reputation to the town ^vith a view to induce emigration to this par- ticular spot ; whether it contributed in any degree to this object, I do not know, nor is it material. It wiH serve to give some idea of what the town was at an early period, and the state of society at tliat time, J-aly 26, 1786. On the situation of the town of Pittsburgh, AND the state OF SOCIETY AT THAT PLACE. THE Alleghany River running from tlie north- cast, and the Monongahela from the south-west meet at an- angle of about 35 degrees, and form the Ohio. 8 Gazette Publications, This name is said to signify, in some of the Indian languages, bloody ; so that the Ohio River may be translated the River of Blood. The French have call- ed it La Belle Riviere, that is, the Beautiful or Fair River, but this is not intended by them a^ having any relation to the name Ohio. It may have received the name of Ohio about the beginning of the present century, when the Six Na- tions made war upon their fellow savages in these ter- ; litories and subjugated several tribes. ' The word Monongahela is said to signify, in some of the Indian languages the Falling'hi'Banks^ that is, the stream of the Falling-in, or Mouldering Banks. At the distance of about four or five hundred yards from the head of the Ohio is a small island lying to the north-west side of the river, at the distance of a- bout 70 yards from the shore. It is covered with wood, and at the lower part, is a lofty hill famous for , the number of wild turkies which inhabit it. The island is not more in length than one quarter of a mile, and in breadth about 100 yards. A small space on the vipper end is cleared and overgrown with grass. The savages had cleared it during the late war ; a party of them attached to the United States having placed their wigwams and raised corn there. The Ohio, at the distance of about one mile from its source, winds roiuid the lower end of the island and disappears. ,1 call the confluence of the Alleghany and Monongahe- la the source of the Ohio. It is pleasant to observe the conflict of these two waters where they meet: when of an equal height the contest is equal, and a small rippling appears from the point of land at their junction to the distance of about five hundred yards. When the Alleghany is master, as tlie term is, the current keeps its course a great way into the Monongahela, before it is overcome, and fails into the bed of the Ohio. The Mononga- hela in like mamier having the mastery, bears away the Alleghany and with its muddy waters discolours Gazette Publwatiom, 9" the cfirystal current of that river. This happens fre- quently, inasmuch as these two rivers, coming from different climates of the country, are. seldom swolen at the same time. The flood of the Alleghany rises perhaps the highest. I have observed it to have been at least 30 feet above the level by the impressions of the ice on the branches of trees which overhang the river, and had been cut at the breaking up of the win- ter, when the snows and frost melting towards the north-east throw themselves down with amazing ra- pidity and violence in a mighty deluge. The current of the Alleghany is in general more rapid than that of the Monongahela, and though not broader or of greater depth, yet, from this circumstance throws forv/ard a greater quantity of w^ater in the same space of time. In this river, at the distance of about one mile above the to^Yn of Pittsburgh is a beautiful little island, which, if there are river gods and nymphs, they may be supposed to haunt. At the upper end of the island and towards the western shore is a small ripple, as it is called, where the water, bubling as if it sprung, from the pebbles of a fountain, gives vivacity and an air of cheerfulness to the scene. The fish of the Alleghany are harder and firmer than those of the Monongahela or Ohio, owing, as is supposed, to the ^eater coldness and purity of the water. The fish in general of those rivers are good. They are, the pike, weighing frequently 15 or 20 pounds ; the perch larger than any I have ever seen in the bay of Chesapeak, which is the only tide from whence I have ever seen perch ; there is also the sturgeon and many more kinds of fish. It is a high amusement to those who are fond of fishing, to angle in these waters, more especially at the time of a gentle flood, Avhen the frequent nibbles of the large and small fishes entertain the expectation, and sometimes gratify it by a bite ; and when those of the larger size are taken, it is necessary to play them a considerable time before it can be judged safe 10 Gazette Publications. to draw them in. I have seen a canoe half loaded iit a morning by some of those most expert in this em- ployment ; but you will see in a spring evening the banks of the rivers lined with men fishing at intervals, from one another. This, with the streams gently gliding, the woods, at a distance, green, and the shadows lengthening towards the town, forms a de- lightful scene. Fond of the water, I have been some- times highly pleased in going with a select party, ill a small barge, up or down the rivers, and landing at a cool spring, to enjoy the verdant turf, amidst the shady bowers of ash-wood, sugar-tree or oak, planted by the hand of nature, not of art. It may be said by some who will read this descrip- tion which I have given, or may be about to give, that it is minute and useless, inasmuch as they are obser- vations of things well known. But let it be consider- ed that it is not intended for the people of this coun- try, but for those at a distance, who may not yet be acquainted \^'ith the natural situation of the toAVTi of Pittsburgh, or having heard of it, may wish to be more particulaiiy informed. Who knows what fa- milies of fortime it may induce to emigrate to this place ? There is a rock kno^vn by the name of M'Kee*s rock, at the distance of about three miles below the head of the Ohio. It is the end of a promontory, where the river bends to the N. W. and where, by the rushing of the floods, the earth has been cut away during several ages; so that now the huge overhang- ing rocks appear, hollowed beneath, so as to form a dome of majesty and grandeur, near one hundred feet in height. Here are the names of French and British oflicers engraved, who in the former times, in parties of pleasure, had visited this place. The to\vn of Pittsburgh, at the head of the Ohio, is scarcely visi- ble from hence, by means of an intervening island, the lower end of which is nearly opposite the rocks. Just below them at the bending of the river is a deep eddy Gazette Publications. 11 water, which has been sounded by a line of thirty fa- thoms, and no bottom found. Above them is a beau- tiful extent of bottom, containing five or six hundred acres, and the ground rising to the inland country with an easy ascent, so as to form an extensive land- scape. As you ascend the river from these rocks to the to\vn of Pittsburgh, you pass by on your right hand the mouth ef a brook kno^Mi by the name of the Saw-mill^rim. This empties itself about half a mile below the town, and is overlooked by a building on its banks, on the point of a hill which fronts the east, and is first struck by the beams of the rising sun. At a small distance from its mouth is a saw-mill about twenty perches below the situation of an old mill built by the British, the remedns of some parts of which are yet seen. At the head of the Ohio stands the town of Pitts- burgh, on an angular piece of ground, the two rivers forming the two sides of the angle. Just at the point, stood, when I first came to this country, a tree, lean- ing against which I have often overlooked the wave, or committing my garments to its shade have bathed in the transparent tide. Hov/ have I regretted its un- deserved fate when the surly winters flood, tore it from the roots and left the bank bare. On this point stood the old French fort known by the name of Fort Du Quesne, which was evacuated and blown up by the French in the campaign of the British under general Forbes. The appearance of the ditch and mound, with the salient angles and bas- tions still remains, so as to prevent that perfect level of the ground which otherwise would exist. It has been long overgrown with the finest verdure, and de- pastured on by cattle ; but since the town has been laid out it has been enclosed, and buildings are erect- ed. Just above these works is the present garrison, ■%)uilt by general Stanwix, and is said to have cost the crown of Britain 60,0001. Be that as it may, it has 12 Gazette Piihlicatlotts, been a ivork of great labour and of little use—For, situated on a plain, it is commanded by heights and rising grounds on every side, and some of them at less than the distance of a mile. The fortification is re- gular, constructed according to the rules of art, and about three years ago put into good repair by general Invin who commanded at this post. It has the ad- vantage of an excellent magazine, built of stone ; but the time is come, and it is hoped will not again re» turn, when the use of tliis garrison is a? an end. There is a line of posts below it on the Ohio river, to the distance of three hundred miles. The savages come to tliis place, for trade, not for war ; and any future contest that we shall have with them, will be on the heads of the more northern rivers that fall into the Mississippi. The bank of the Alleghany river, on the north- west side of the town of Pittsburgh, is planted with an orchard of apple trees, with some pear trees in- termixed. These were brought, it is said, and plant- ed at great expence, by a British officer who com- manded at this place early on the fir^t occupation of it by the crown of England. He has deserved the thanks of those who have since enjoyed it, as the fruit is excellent, and the trees bear in abundance every year. Near the garrison, on the Alleghany bank, were formerly what were called the king's and artillery gardens, delightful spots, cultivated highly to usefulness and pleasure, the soil favoring the growth of plants and flowers, equal with any on the globe. Over this ground the antient herbs and plants spring- ing underneath the foot, it is delightful- still to walk covered with the orchard shade. On the margin of this river once stood a row of houses, elegant and neat, and not unworthy of the European taste, but have been swept aw ay in the course of time, some for the purpose of forming an opening to the river from the garrison, that the ar- tillery inight incommode the enemy approacliiiig ^nd Gazette PuhUcaUons. IS flepVved of shelter* ; some torn away by the fury of the rismg river, indignant of too near a pressure on' its byaiks. These bnildings were the receptacles cf the ancient Indian trade, which, coming fiihii the westward, centred in this quarter : But of these build- ings, like decayed monuments of grandeur, not a trace remains. Those who, twenty years ago, saw them flourish, can only say, here they stood. From the verdant walk on the margin of this beau- tiful river, you have a view of an island about a mile above, round w-hich the river twines v/ith a resplen- daht brightness : gliding on the eastern bank, it would wish to keep a straight direction, once suppo- sed to be its course ; but thrown beneath, it modestly submits and falls towards the town. When the poet comes with his enchanting song to pour his magic numbers on tliis scene, this little island, may aspire to live with those in the Egean sea, where the song of Homer drew the image of delight, or where the .Cam or Isis embracing in their bosoms gem.s like these are sung by Pvlilton, father of the modeni bards. On the west. side of the Alleghany river, and op- posite the orchard, is a level of three thousand acres, reserved by the state to be laid out in lots for the pur- pose of a toAvn. A small stream at right angles to the river, passes through it. On this ground it is sup- posed a town may stand; but on ail hands it is exclu- ded from the praise of being a situation so convenient as on the side of the river, where the present to^vn is placed ; yet it is a most delightful grove of oak, cher- ry and walnut trees ; but we return and take a view of ty.Q, Monongahela on tlie southern side of the t0\\T). This bank is closely set with buildings for the dis- tance of near half a mile, and behind this range the \.Q\m chiefly lies, falling back on the plams between the two rivers. To the eastward is Grant's hiil, a beautiful rising ground, cUscovering marks of antient cultivation j the forest havuig long ago withdrawn, B 14 Gazette Publications* and shewn the head and brow beset with green and flowers. From this hill two chrystal fountains issue, wiiich h) the heat of summer continue with a lympid currenTto refresh the taste. It is pleasant to cele- brate a festival on the summit of this ground. In the-year 1781 a bower had been erected covered with green shrubs. The sons and daughters of the day- assembling, joined in the festivity, viewing the livers at a distance, and listening to the music of the inilitary on the plain beneath them. When the moon light rising from the east, had softened iyto ^rey, the prospect, a lofty pile of wood enflamed, with pyramidal rising, illumined both the rivers and the town, which fai- around reflected brightness. Ap- proacliing in the appearance of a river god, a swain begirt with weeds natural to these stream^s, and crowii- ed #ith leaves of the sugar tree, hailed us, and gav^ prophetic hints of the grandeur of our future empir^T His words I remember not, but it seemed to me for a moment, that the mystic agency of deities well kno"v\Ti in Greece and Rome, was not a fable ; but that powers unseen haunt the woods and rivers, who take part m the affairs of mortals, and are pleased with the celebration of events that spring from gre^t atchievements and from \irtue. This is the hill, and from whence it takes its nanie, where, in the war which terminated in tJie year 1 7*63, Grant advancing with about 800 Caledonians or Highland Scotch troops, beat a reveille a little aftier "sujirise to the French garrison, who, accompanied VTLXh a num.ber of savages, sallied out and flanking him unseen from the bottom on the left and right then covered Avitli wood, ascended tli.e hill, tomhawk- ed and cut his troops to pieces, and made Grant him- self prisoner. Bones and iv eapons are yet found on the hill, the bones white with the weather : the wea- pons covered 'v^ ith rust. On the summit of this hill is a mound of earth, ^■suppos(;d to be a catacomb or antieiit J>urying phce Gazette Picblicatiom, 15 of the savage?. There can be no doubt of this, as on opening some of the like tumuli or hills of earth, bones are found. In places where stcfnes are plenty, these mounds are raised of stones, and skeletons are found iff them. To the north-east of Grant's hill, there is one still higher at the distance of about a quarter of a mile, which is called the Quarry hill, from the excellent stone quarry that has been opened in it. From this hill there is an easy descent the whole w^ay to the town, and an excellent smooth road, so that stones can be easily procured to erect- any building at Pittsburgh. From the Quarry -hill you have a view four or five miles of the Alleghany river, along which lies a fine bottom, and in high cultiva- tion, with different inclosures and farm houses ; the river winding through the whole prospect. This hill would seem to stand as that wiiereon a strong redoubt might be placed, to command the commerce of the Alleghany river, while directly op- posite on the Monongahela side, to the south-east, stands a hill of the same height and appearance, kno^vii by the name of Ayre's-hill, so called from a British engineer of that name, who gave his opinion in favor of this ground as that whereon the fort ought to be constructed, as being the highest ground, and which must command the rivers, and the plain with the in- ferior rising grounds on which the town is built. This hill has been cultivated on the summit by a Highland regiment, who built upon it, though the buildings are now gone, and the brow of the hill is still covered with wood. From Ayre's hill issue several fountains, falling chiefly towards the north, into a small brook, w^hich, increasing, encircles the foot of the hill, and takes its course through several beautiful little meads into the Monongahela river. On this brook, before it takes its turn to the Monongahela, in a delightful little val- ley, and in the neighbourhood of some plumb trees, the natives of the country, was the antient residence 16 Gazette Puhlications, ^ cf a certain Anthony Thompson, the vestiges of whose habitation still remains ; an extent of ground cleared by hini lies to the north, accustomed to long cultivation, coid now flii'ov/n out a common. The best brick may be m.ade from this ground, the fine loam and sand of which the soil consists, and the wa- ter just at hand, highly favouring this cbject. - / As you ascend from this valley, through which a,^ main leading road passes from the country, you see the Monongahela, and approaching Grant's iiill oh the right, you have the point cf view from whence the to\Mi is seen to the best advantage. It is hid froifk you until by the v.inding cf the road you begin to turn the point of the hill ; you then see house by house on the Monongahela side openhig to your \dew, un- til you are in front of the main town, in a direct line to the confluence of the rivers. Then the buildings on the Alleghany shew themselves with the pkin ex- tending to the right which had been concealed. You have in the mean time a view of the rising groimds beyond the rivers, crovvned with lofty woods. I was once greatly struck in a summer morning viewing from tiiis ground the early vapour rismg from the nver. It hung midway between the foot and summit cf the hill, so that the green above, had tlie appear- ance of an island in the clouds. It may be here observed, that at the junction of these tv/o rivers until eight o'clock of summer morn- ings, a light fog is usually incumbent, but it is of a salutaiy nature, inasmuch as it consists of vapour not exhaled from stagnant water, but which the sun of ' the preceding day had extracted from trees and flow- ers, and in the evening had sent back in dew, so that rising with a second sun in fog, and becoming of aro- matic quality, it is experienced to be healthful. The town of Pittsburgh, as at present built, stands chiefly on vrhat is callrd the Third bank ; that is the third rising of the ground above the Alleghany water. For there is the first bank which confines the river at the nrestnt lime ; and about tliree hundred feet re- / Gazette PubUcations» 17 moved is a second, like the falling of a garden ; tlicn a third, at the distance of about three hundred yards ; and lastly, a fourth bank, all of easy incUnation, and parallel with the Alleghany river. These banks would seem in successive periods to have been the margin of the river which gradually has changed its course, and has been thrown from one descent to another, to the present bed where it lies. In digging wells the kind of stones are found which we observe in the Alleghany current, worn smooth by the attri- tion of the water. Shells also intermixed with these are thro^\•n out. Nature therefore, or the river, seems to have formed the bed of this tovn\ as a gar- den with level walks, and fallings of the ground. Hence the advantage of descendhig gardens on these banks, which art elsewhere endeavours, with the greatest industry to form. Nor is the soil less happy than the situation. The mould is light and rich. The finest gardens in the known world may be form- ed here. The to\'(m consists at present of about an hundred dwelling houses, with buildings appurtenant. IMore are daily added, and for some time past it has im.pro- vedwithan equal but conthmal pace. The inha- bitants, children, men and women are about fifteen, hundred ; this number doubling almost every yeai* from the accession of people from abroad, and from those born in the town. As I pass along, I may re- mark that this new country is in general highly pro- lific ; whether it is that the vegetable air, if I niay so express it, constantly perfumed with aromatic flavor, and impregnated with salts drawn from the fresh soil, is more favorctble to the production of men and other animals than decayed grounds. There is not a more delightful spot under heaven to spend any of the summer months than at this place. I am astonished that there should be such re- pair to the Warm Springs in Virginia, a place pent v.p between tlie hills where the siui pours its Isains B 2 13 Gazette Publications, concentred as in a burning glass, ahd not a breath c^ air stirs ; where the eye can wander scarcely half a furlong ; while here we have the breezes of the river, coming from the Mississippi and the ocean ; the gales that fan the woods, and are sent from the re- freshing lakes to the northward ; in the mean time the pr jspect of extensive hills and dales, whence the fragrant air brings odours of a thousand flowers and plants, or of the corn and grain of husbandmen, upon its balmy wings. Here we have the town and coun- try together. How pleasant is it in a summer even- ing, to walk out upon these grounds ; the smooth green surface of the earth, and the woodland shade softening the late fervid beams of the sim ; how plea- sant by a chrystal fountain in a tea party under one of those hills, with the rivers and the plains beneath. Nor is the winter season enjoyed with less festivity than in more populous and cultivated towns. The buildings warm ; fuel abundant, consisting of the finest coal from the neighbouring hills, or of ash, hickory or oak, brought down in rafts by the rivers. In the mean time the climate is less severe at this place than on the other side the niountain, lying deep in the bosom of the woods ; sheltered on the north east, by the bending of the Alleghany heights, and on the south west, warmed by the tepid winds from the bay of Mexico, and the great southern ocean. In the fall of the year and during the winter sea- son, there is usually a great concourse of strangei^s at this place, from the different states, about to descend the river to the westward, or to make excursions into the uninhabited and adjoining country. These, v/ith the inhabitants of the town spend the evening in par- ties at the different houses, or at public balls, where they are surprised to find an elegant assembly of la- dies, not to be surpassed in beauty and accomplish- ■ments perhaps by any on the continent. It must appear like enchantment to a stranger, who ,5Jter travelling an hundred miles from the settle- Gazette Puhlications, 19 ments, across a dreary mountain, and through the adjoining country where in many places the spurs of the mountain still continue, and cuhivation dots not always shew itself, to see, all at once, and almost on the verge of the inhabited globe, a town with smoakmg chimnies, halls lighted up with splendor, ladies and gentlemen assembled, various music, and the mazes of the dance. He may suppose it to be the effect of magic, or that he is come into a new Avorld where there is all the refinement of the former, and more benevolence of heart. THE force of opinion, like the spring of the airy is inconceivably powerful. This appears in what is said to be the effect of it amongst the Indians of the continent, in some of those tribes with which we are acquainted. When one of the nation has m.urdev- ed another, the punishment is sometimes postponed for a number of years ; and at the time and place appointed the malefactor will come and resign him- self to the death ; though in the mean time he might have made his escape to other tribes. Wliat more infatuated does the conduct of one appear to us at first view who will voluntarily come and stand up to be shot, at the bare bidding of another who has taken it into his head to be offended. Happy is it for him who has the fortitude to put all false sentiments of honour under his feet : In the language of the poet, — Subjecit pedibus . I have occasionally done it, and the following im.- promptu upon a real occasion, will be a specimen of the way and manner in which a duel may be par- ried when one has no inclination to encounter the danger of it, and by treating it with ridicule would wish to escape the animadversion of fools, or the murderous intention of the knaves, who, iu manf cases, bring these things about. 20 Gazette Publications. ANSWER TO A CHALLENGE, A CHALLENGE comcs. A challenge ? mercy From one as hot as Hotspur Piercy— jr, A challenge ! what ? to fight a duel ? f^ I'd live ten years on- water grael, Rather than stand up to be shot at, Like a racoon that can't be got at. You may shoot him — what's that to me, That I receive or give phlebotomy ? The profit and loss of both are equal, I shall gain nothing in the sequel. Will not the world approve your courage ? Will that procure me food or forage ? Mac Miilan* the ecclesiastic, Vv ill bum me with religious caustic ; Tell all the people that the devil, Has bound me hand and foot to evil. Can I avoid the horrid fury Of Presbyterian judge ans:! jury ? No. No. 'Tis best t' avoid the »in, And sleep as usual in a whole skin. Scsides ; the thing is so degraded—. The lowest classes have invaded The duel province. What reputation When the scum and worst of the nation, * A Clcr'gyman. Gazette Publications. 21 Can fight, and say,—" We men of honor" It is a burlesque ; I would sooner Put my headi'th' fire, than on a level. Be placed, with every silly devil That fights a duel now-a-days — The thing was once a thing of praise, ^Vhen noble knights and mounted esquires, With lances and with warlike whiskers, Fought for the honour of fair ladies, If all is truevihat sung and said is. But what pretence has this same codhead, Or I myself with pistol loaded ; He but a pedlar, a mere trot-bogger, I but a simple pettifogger ; What right have we t' usurp a province Sacred to valor and to love once ; To measure v/eapons in such battle, Who are but ordinary cattle ? Shew me your ancestry and knighthood. Which those must do who fight would, With crests of arms, escutcheons, Mottos, devices,. Welsh, or Dutch ones. Deduce your pedigree from. Orson, Valentine or some such whoreson ; Shew you are of the breed of War'ick Who killed a mad cow at a hay rick. Then I admit without more question, Your right to chivalry and fustian., 'Tis true there may be found such mortals. Whom nature in her phrcnzy curtails, 22 Gazette Publications, Of goodness and of mental merit,^ Like a mad devil or foul spirit ; Who out of time have had a licence, To put do^^^l reason, and lay by sense, To cut society asunder, And make the modestest knock under. The death of such is but a small loss, Whether by the duel or the gallows. Shall I make these my model, whose skull To myself and others may be useful, Who has spent a term of thirty years, To put my mental powers in geers, School, college, academy. All to replenish the head of me ; And many a midnight lucubration To make me one of the first o' th' nation ? What the result of the encounter, When I fall down as flat's a flounder, Shot dead ? and only to be buried. Remains when coroner has enquired. Or, if by accident, or aiming, I have the luck, 'tis all the same thing, To put a ball in your belly, what tlie use ? I cannot make of you a goose. Or turn you to a woodland turkey. That houshokl men may knife and fork ye ; Convert you to a salted salmon. Or make of you a well-cur'd gamon. 1 Gazette Publications. 23 Thus for the item of your carcase, I set down nought. So 'tis a hard case That I must kill you, or be kill'd Ignobly on a private field, Against the dictates of my conscience, Obedient to the world's nonsense, While those we leave behind on earth, Make us the subject of their mirth. In vain we hope for fame : our fate Is forgotten at a day's date. No muse funeral hangs our hearse, With the bare fragment of a verse : Cast on the beech like dark sea-gulls, We die th' unhallowed death of fools. Take my advice, then let us solder This feud of ours, before weVe older ; IVIeet in the evening, take a bottle, Aud leave disputes to Aristotle. ONE of the earliest things which 1 thought of on going to reside in the western country, v/as the encouragement of a public paper. An estab-ishment of this nature was accomplished after some time, and a good deal by my exertions. With a view to assist it I wrote some things serious, and some ludicrous. The folloA^ing is of the last cast. I had an ambition ; or rather I obeyed the impulse of my rnind in being among the first to bring the press to the west of the 24 Gazette Publications, mountgdns ; so that in a small instance I might aay with the poet, Primus ego in patiiam mecum Aonio rediens deducam vertice musas. Messieurs Scull ijf Hall, I HAVE heard it said that you are about to pub- lish a Gazette in the town of Pittsburgh ; this will be of great use, especially to our young people after they are taught the catechism and to read the scriptures, inasmuch as they will find in this all the hard names which they do not meet with in the 10th chapter of Nehemiah or the Chronicles. By reading the Old Testament they may have iieard a great deal about JeiTisalem and Nineveh, but in this we read of the modem cities, such as Paris, Constantinople and Cork in Ireland, and other great capitals. In short, an almanac and a newspaper are almost all the pro- fane books that a layman need read. I suppose under the head of advertisements you will keep a good look out after stray cattle and ne- groes, or lands to be sold. It will be a great advan- .tage to have such an opportunity of making public any grievance of this nature. But it is to be suppo- sed the principal object will be to collect occiu rences from abroad, and concentre those at home, especial- ly such as are of >a ix>litical nature. When I. say a- ' broad, I mean in the eastern world, and by those at home, I mean America. I had an uncle in Chester county v/ho had been a long time a subscriber for the paper, and from a frequent perusal of the intelligence, respecting difTerent powers in the system of Europe, he had a perfect knowledge of them ; like a man looking through a glass-beehive he could, as it were, see them all before his eyes, and distinguish the. i Gazette Puhllcatioju. 25 workings and counter-workini^s of cabinets and coim- cils. Who would not give half a guinea to know, ex- actly as he does, his own calf pasture, what is going on every day when he rises, at Smyrna and Amster- dam, and co<\nt as easily as he can tlie stripes of his waistrocit, the armies that are on foot in Europe : Tlie state treaties that are relieving the inconvenience or changing the happiness of mankind : To be able to look up with the tail of his eye as far as Russia, and down again with the same glance to the islands in the West-Indies, and to see all the intermediate space swarming mth men and things: Instead of half a guinea, this is worth an 100 half joes to a man. But Vv^e shall know something even of the upper ivorld from the Gazette ; I do not mean the account of the balloons, though it may be well enough to know what experiments are making in that way ; but the discoveries of philosophers, who teach us at what distance the bulls, goats and rams depasture from each other in the firmament. I wonder how David Rittenhouse comes on in rubbing down the stars, since he was appointed astronomer to the common- wealth : It is said he has considerably corrected the vapours of the mooiVs atmosphere, for though there are as many natural fools in the neighbourhood of Philadelphia as formerly, there has not been one in- stance of a lunatic for several years past. A principal advantage will be to know what is go-, ing on in our own state ; particularly what our re- presentatives are doing: Heretofore, like boys creep- ing into a hay stack at such a remote distance, we could see only their heels, while their heads were hid away amongst the cabals of Philadelphia ; when they returned home they had generally a great deal to tell us of their contests with and other overgro^\^l-men ; but as to the merit or demerit of their opposition we could knovv it only from them- selves. C 26 Gazette Publications, . On all these considerations, I think your under* taking ^vill be of a public benefit and ought to be en* couraged. The farmers can read it on all wet days, Sundays excepted, and become informed without Jpsjng time. Your humble servant, WILLIAM DONACHY. TO assist the printer I recommended to him to Strike off at least the title page of an Almanac as printed at Pittsburgh, and add it to those which he might order up to be sold at his office j and with a view to give it the preference in purchase, drew up for him the following to be published in the Gazette, and which had the effect to supersede all from ber low ; that is, on tlie eastern side of the mountains. It was a few hundred dollars in his pocket, and help- ed to carry on the press. Messieurs Scull ^ Hall, OUR neighbour William Donachy has well obi- served in your Gazette, " That an Almanac and a Newspaper are almost all the profane books that a layman can need." We have now a Gazette printed amongst ourselves ; but we are deficient in point of an almanac. It is said in ail the almanacs printed on the other side the hills, that though calculated for that meridian, " they will, without sensible variation, serve all the nonhem states." Every one of common understanding must see that this is a vain vaunt, and that they might as well tell us that the fires made in the city of Philadelphia or Baltimore, will warm the •Gazette Publications, 27 people at Pittsburgh, as that the almanacs will serve both places. The time of the sun rising is different, having 300 tniles and a high mountain to come over. I have observed that a hill and the distance of a mile make a distinguishable difference in the rising of the hea- venly bodies. The sun shines out on Niel Ryburn's meadow half an hour before he can be seen at my house, which stands in a hollow between two hills of a height nothing to be compared with the Alleghany mountdn. The moon is in this respect the same thing with the sun. I have waited half an hour at a friends house for her being up, when getting a more extensive view of the firmament, I saAv she had been up an hour before. How then can we think that it, is the same hour of the day or night at Philadelphia that it is in this country. I much question if it is the same day of the week. At least when we are sitting do'vvn to dinner here it may be about breakfast time there ; if we should set our watches or our sundials by these almanacs, we should find ourselves far wrong. In regard of the weather there can be no certainty whatever. You might as well look in Watt's psalms for the changes of the element, as in any of their ca- lenders that are formed on observations of the stars in another hemisphere. The loss of this is very great. A rjtiny day comes upon us unawares, when perhaps there is to be a week day's sermon, or we have be- spoke hands for a raising, or a rolling frolick, and kill- ed a sheep and made preparation for it. If we knew before hand when there was to be a broken day by rea- son of a gust, we could lay ourselves out to go to the smith shop or the weaver's, or to look for a shoemaker or taylor. 'Certainly there is none of them v/ill be so absurd as to argue that there is the same weather in Conococheague, or the Marsh creek settlement, that there is here, when we know that it is often raining on the Alleghany mountain or the Laurel hill, though 28 Gazette Publications, -not at half the distance, when it is as clear as a bell on this side. If you are in want of a telescope to take the altitude of the seven planets in order to determine the Aveather with exactness, and mvist go to the ex- pence of a new one fitted to this climate, it may be laid on the almanac for the first year, and I am sure no one can begrudge to give something more to have a just account of things rv^tlierthan to be at the mercy of false calculations which have no connection with the latitude or longitude of this country. It is a great risk to draw blood here where we have no ceilaiiity where the sign is, whether in the fcotor the groin. James Gillispie, a neighbour of mine, almost lost his life trusting to a Baltimore almanac in drawing blood. His son had brought it up when he went to Hager's town for a bushel of salt in the fall ; and the schoolmaster depended on it for the sign, and opened a vein in the arm ; but it swelled up in a day or two like a post ; and is something stiff when putting on his coat, to tins hour. If you print an almanac I would advise you to leave out ail profane songs, except in the praise of general AVashington, and put in a psalm or hymn tune in their place. Proverbs are a very useful thing in an almanac, and you may take some out of the old al- manacs, such as Poor Richirds or Will's, which justice Clingan, vrho lived beside us in Chester coun- ty, used to say v/as the best. Receipts for cures of the bites of a mad dog, or for the glanders in horses, or the jaundice in man and beast, or other disorders that are incidental to the human species, will fill up a page with great utility to the public. As for the Quaker mcruhiy meetings they may publish them themselves : I do not see why we should pay for printing these thuigs when there is not a dozen of tliat way of thinking in the whole county of Wash- ington. Your humble servant, GAW^N MORRISON. Gazette Publications* 29 THE AUTHOR AND THE CRITICT A Dialogue. Critic. THE critic first possess'd the earth, And by his rules gave authors birth. Author. I did not know you traced so high, Your origin and ancestry, What time you first begun dog-bark. Were you with Noah in the ark ? In what compartment were you seen ? *Mongst creatures clean or the unclean ? Critic The critic, sir's, the natural father Of every snifling, snuffling author ; And when you nod or snore or sleep, We slily on posteriors creep. And rouse you to a bright exertion. Of all your faculties, you whoreson. How can there be idea of beauties, Unless the critic genius shew't us : The angle of the sight obtuse. Can see no more than doth a goose, While we with microscopic eye. Examine as you would a fly, C 3 30 Gazette Publications: See through the crevices of fancy, As far as human eyesight can see, Tell where there is or is not Grammar ; What phraseology wants hammer Or file to make the verse run smoother. Where sound is harsh, or term uncouther, Author. I grant you see defects and errors, Of those in genius your superiors : The skin however smoothjy curried, To a flee's eye is deep and furrowed. His optics may perceive a wart, That grows upon the unseen part, But for the beauty of the frame. It is above the ken of them T'hus critics tell that bard divine Has a rough word in such a line, Or that the sacred poem scarce Can bear the trot of such a verse, That feeble author in such sentence Has not the vis, the spirit intense. That Pagasus was lame when he rode, Over this or that dull period. They tell, but never felt the! force, Of genius in his rapid course. Critic What ? did not Quintillian fully, Develope all the praise of Tully ? Gazette Publications. Sf And 'mongst the Greeks, the great Longinus, Who may be justly stil'd his highness, With critic judgment join the fire, Of Heaven itself ? who can go higher ? From your vile accusation whose*s safe ? Nt)t even the elder scaliger Joseph, Who had a mind as big's a mountain, Could all defects and beauties contain, And shew'd that Homer was inferior, And Virgil hit perfection nearer. Have you the assur^tnce ar to speak, Against the Raman worth and Greek ; Author. So much we hear I believe that no man% Tongue is still of Greeks and Romans ; For if dispute should rise past curing, Which way 'tis best to make our urine, And each should argue stifRy his way. All must give up, the Greek-s pissU this way. Critic But there in modern times is Bently, Who sung of Richard Blackmore daint'Iy. Author. I grant it. Critic, t^here's a thousand ; The list beginning has nor knows end. They swarm m millions from the flood-— The Hebrew critics fil-st drew blood j 32 Gazette Publications, And this is what is meant by Babel Where all were critics that were able* The Rabbin and the Talmudist, Fought hand to hand and fist to fist. About the pentateuch of Moses ; Their tales, the wildest stuff, God knows is. If there has been some Grecian critic, Above the offspring of a seed-tic ; Yet where is one in modem days Who can deserve that share of praise ? For metamorphos'd down to vermin, Who can the various shapes determine. And small and great are prone to mischief^ And every clan and sect has his chief. They swarm like Caledonian cluster, When the Mac Neils and Camrons muster \ Or as when housewife spreads her sugar, With water mix*d, each insect rogue here, Relinquishes pots, tubs and pails. And for the booty spreads his sails. Thus all the race of critics gather, Around the footsteps of an author, Bite through his overalls and stocking, And biting shins, you know's no joking. Who now a days sits do\vn to write Uninterrupted by a bite ? Unless he takes good care and puts on, A pair of leggins or has boots on. They say. of Reynard who loves geese, That when oppress'd with swarm of llea« i Gazette Publications. 33 He fakes in's mouth a lock of wool, And gradually retires to pool ; • The fleas by secret instinct led, Fly from the tail and trunk to head, With speed each mother's son o' th'm goes To seek the promontory of nose. And when no more remains abaft. Fox shakes his head and leaves tlie raft. Who could find out by book or sermon, An equal way t' elude the vermin. Would merit a rich premium more. Than vers*d in philosophic lore, The member who dissects a glow-worm, To see if 'tis a beast and no worm. I wish some virtuoso would, Who natural history understood, Dissect a critic, shew his jaw teeth Whether they are quite smooth or saw-teeth, Resembling butterfly or asp, Or long and pointed like a wasp ; And by the grinders edge determine, Cornuting or carniv'rous vermin. I'd give myself a golden medal. To know if 't has a brown or red tail. And whether when it moves, it goes on An hundred feet or half a dozen ; But many glasses must be ground out, Before these mysteries can be found out. I leave it to some great Linn x us, Who may by this be fam'd as he was. 34 Gazette FuSlicationi* Messieurs Scull i5* Ilally I HAVE been a subscriber from the first, and slent in a dollar the other day, by William Guy, when he went to the contractor's store to buy an oimce of snuff for his wife. Our neighbours think a great deal of the paper, and I have as many of them about me between sermons on a Sunday, to hear the news, as Mathew M*Connel has on his justice days, when they come about law business. I see the Congress hare appointed a superintendant of the Indians, to give them presents, and to keep them in peace. I am persuaded it is meant well, and the men may bc'capable that are nominated to this station ; but I am apprehensive the task is beyond their ability, to restrain the savages for any length of time. In my opinion it would be better to let them nm in the woods, and live at their own purchase ; for when they can get meat and drink without hunting, they get a habit of idleness, and must be supplied by presents, or by going to war. It is with them as with our cattle in the fall of the year. There is a great deal of good grass in the woods, and they might live very well till near Christmas : but if you begin to winter them too soon, they stay about the house and have their heads in every pot and pail ; and when a good day comes, if you refuse to give them any thing, instead of going to the vroods they get into the turnip patch and are the greatest break fences about the whole plantation. It would be for the good of the country, if, when the blankets and leggins come, the superintendant would give them to some of the poor women and children whose husbands and fathers have been murdered in the war, or if that proposition vaU not go down, drink them out amonst yourselves in the town there. Gazette Publications, 35 We have read over the extracts of the debates in the house of assembly. I would wish to see a great deal less Sciid, and more done. The vanity of talking appears to be visible in many of them. There are two or three of them that are up and down every mi- nute like the elbow of a man playing on the fiddle. It makes my heart ache to hear the members from our own county jangling about small points, while land jobbers are running away witii our property, by laying warrants on improvements. Honest Thomas Mac- murrochy has lost his plantation, unless a law is made to exclude these rii^hts. I have several more things to say, but my neigh- bour Robert Richey, wlio takes this to you, says he is in a hurry, and I do not know who I can send it by if I miss this opportunity. ANGUS MAC MORE, Washington Coimty, > September 20. • o --i^ ' A Masque, written at the Warm-Springs, in Virginia, in the year 1784. The Genius of the Wood. I am the Genius of the shady wood ; Whose care it is to crown the swelling rivers, And bid the mountains liide them from the heat Of the solstitial ray ; the Delaware I crown with poplar and with boughs of oak ; The Suscjuehannah with the cherry tree j 36 Gazette Publications, Potomack wasted by the summer's sun, And Rappahannock and the river James, I crown with branches of the lofty pine ; The great Ohio, with her thousand sons To Mississippi rolling on, I crown With leaves of ash-wood and the sugar-tree. This is the day and this the well known place Your presence is expected. Potomack. These springs we annually revisit ; But where the Genius of the tepid streams ? Whose task it is to warm them for the bath, And touch them, v^ith the sacred ore, which givet Salubrious quality ; this is his task. In those recesses and deep caverns fram'd By Neptune, where the mountain base o'erspreads. His naiads there attend him and each brings Her urn, and pours it where th' embosom'd rock Gives current to the tide. Gexius of the Springs. Great sire of fountains, on this annual day I greet your presence. Delaware. You know, my son, this is the happy season, When from our banks the gayest citizens, To taste the water of the springs repair. Is every drop ting'd with the mountain ore And made medicinal ? Is every drop * Gazette Publications, 37 Through sand filtrated, that the chrystal glass Of those who drmk may be transparent with it I Genius of the Springs. I The wave is nine times purified by fire ; The hundred naiads of th' embowering rocks With pitchers from the, subterranean flood Have drawn the tide ; the' alembic has distill'd The tide to vapour ; the mountain cistern Has receiv'd the liquid current. Beds of ore Have ting'd and sand has filtrated tlie stream That every drop with power of health impregnate Dispels all pain, all shape of malady, That racks the system or the mind subdues, Ohio. Then bid the naiads of the vocal powers, Haste hither with the nimble dance and song, The virtue of the springs to celebrate ; And bid the deities of these rude hills With Triton whom the e:oddess Thetis sent Attune theirichokis in symphony with these* Potomac^. Go tell the naiads and the jocund deities, To cull their choicest flowers ; a noble name,* Has come this day to do them honour. That chief whose fame has oft been heard by tliem. In contest with Britannia's arms ; that chief Whom I myself have seen quitting the fami, * Washington, 38 Gazette Publications, By no ambition, but by virtue led, Arising at iiis country's call, and swift The challenge of the vet'ran foe receiving. My brother streams have told me his atchievemc "»* The oak'-crown'd Hudson told me that he saw liii>.^ Walk like a God upon his well fought banks. The Raritan in Jersey told me of him ; But most the Delaware, whose noble tide Roird his indignant waves upon the bank And triumph'd on the heroic days Of Brandy wine, of Germanto^vn and Monmouth j The Rappahannock told me of the chief When great Comwallis yielded. With him I she4 A tear of lucent joy. The Chesapeake, Oh 1 bay divine, thou heardst the victory. And through thy hundred islands far and wide> Rejoicing, there was gladness. But when the rage of horrid war had ceas*d| My son returned ; I mark'd his character.... No scorn appear'd upon his furrow'd brow, His air was dignity and graceful ease The same as when he left us,. save that now His visage worn with care shew-d rnore of age I haii'd my son and bade him come with me To taste the water of the healthful springs. TnE Naiads in a dance. Purest streams that gently flow From the rock that covers you, No decrease of tide you know, Summer suns do not subdue. Gazette Puhlicatiofis* 39 Nor do storms fierce winter's brood Rain or snow that comes with them, Swell your current to a flood ; You are still, pure streams, the same. Emblem this of that great chief, Washington who made us free, Shewing 'midst our joy and gri&f Equal equanimity. The dance continues with a second sorg. The gentle streams flowing, The trees around growing And shadows now showing Themselves o'er the spring. No danger of w^asting Your water by tasting Though m^iny are hasting To drink of the spring. Third song with a dance. Clear bursting fountains by you shall appear, The gayest assemblies through each circling year ; To lead up the dance in these chearful abodes, And live at their leisure the life of the Gods. We taste of the streams and forget all our care : Your virtues like Lethe, not fabulous are. Your virtues expel all diseases and pain. To those that are weuk, they give vigour again. 40 Gazette Pullications, The lame that come hither their crutches forego : They leap and exult like the wild mountain roe, Here youth is confirm'd in his vigour and bloom> To age is given /ears and days yet to come. They disapfitar. Genius of the Woods. Such is the virtue of these healthful springs ; Yet not in these alone salubrious quality. Far west, and near thy source, Ohio, rising There is a spring* with copious oil embrown'd, All chronic pain dispelliihg, at the touch, And washing all scorbutic taint away,* As erst in Jordan was the Syrian king. Th' inflexile joint, the fibre of old age Relaxing, it gives youth and nimble motion. The natives of the wood, my oldest sons, Nor less than Hamadryadcs, my care ; All bathe in the smooth current,-and receive Returning health and vigour. Soon assembling There, the modern race of men unnumbei'd In place of the discoloured native Shall frequent its margin. The gods and naiads . There, as usual shall repair While annually with festive song and dance, They celebrate the virtue of the springs. * The Gil'S/iring on Freiich creek. Gazette Publications, 41 ■ -M* SPEFXH DELIVEHED (1788,) IK THE LeGISLATURK OF Pennsylvania on a motion to instruct the DELEGATES OF THAT STATE IN CoNGRESS RELA- TIVE TO A PROPOSITION TO CEDE TO SPAIN THE RIGHT OF NAVIGATION OF THE MISSISSIPPI RI- VER. IT must be well kno^vll that the navigation of this river is actually impeded, nay wholly prohibited by Spain ; at least it is within my own knowledge ; for I well know that a boat (the property of an inhabi- tant at Pittsburgh) descending the Ohio river and fall- ing within the boundaries of Spain, a])out two years ago, was seized at New-Orleans, and the furs and other articles, to the amount of at least 10001. are yet detained from the owTier. I have seen the memorial of that inhabitant to our minister at the court of Spdn ; I have seen the an- swer of that minister (John Jay,) stating — that the right of navigation to this river was on the tapis with that court, and the point would speedily be adjusted. I have lately had the honour of conversing with a member of the assembly of North-Carolina, who in- formed me that a boat descending the Holston river, and also falling withhi the boundaries of Spain, v^^as seized at New-Orleans, and that he vvas the bearer of a memorial from tiie state of North-Carolina, to the United States in Congress assembled, on the sub- ject. The gentleman of whom I speak had himself been appointed a member, and was going on to that body. It must be well known that before and since the eonckibion of the war, we have had a ininiister at the D 2 42 Gazette Publications, court of Spain, or appointed for it : the great object has been a treaty of commerce. What can be the remora or cause of delay in completing it ? Surely some point of great magnitude, which counteracts what must be so great an object with both powers. It must be the navigation of this river ; for what other object can there be except this, and the adjustment of the boundaries between the Floridas and Georgia, which can resist our desire to be bound by some com- mercial treaty ? It is the voice of common fame that the na\igation of this river more especially, is the ground of delay — the remora or cause of difference. It is the voice of common fame that the Congress of the United States, have at last, in some degree, yield- ed, and have listened to a proposition of ceding it, at least for some time, in lieu of certain commercial advantages. It is the language of the gazettes for more than one year past : it is the language of con- versation. We hear it, in hamlet, in town, in city, in capital, from New-Hampshire to Georgia, from the ocean to the wilderness. Reason is engaged, passion is roused, jealousy awakened, apprehension prevails, and the whole continent is shaken with the .storm and tempest of controversy in consequence of it. I have in my possession letters from gentlemen re- sident in New-York, who have honoured me with their correspondence, stating, that it is the subject of conversation in that capital ; that it is the subject of warm and hostile debate ; that there can be no doubt the proposition has been made, and that seven states out of thirteen have actually acceded to it ; nine are sufficient, so that but two more eire wanting, and the fate of the Avestern country is determined. I have in my possession letters originally written by a person resident at New-Orleans for the space of fourteen years, stating the designs and conversation of Don Galvez, the late viceroy of Mexico, on this point ; his orders to monsieur Gardoqui, the agent of tlic Gazette Publications, 43 court of Spain, at New-York — the occlusion of this river was a favourite point with Don Galvez, whose uncle is the cliief minister of Spc^in : doubtless it has been the policy of Spain to exclude foreigners from the commerce of the American colonies — a ruthless and disconsolate policy, which preserves a few mines but a barren and desolate country to herself. I have in my possession a report from one of the officers of congress, statin,^ this very proposition of Spain. 1st. Spain will give the same privileges to the citi- zens of the United States which she gives to her o\mi subjects in trade ; that it is the privileges of what are called the most favoured nations. 2d. She will open all the ports of Old Spain ex- cept those of Biiboa and Guipusca. 3d. She vnli take from us fish, lumber, flour and most other things, except tobacco — These the inha- bitant of Maryland and Virghiia must himself use. These things she v/ill take, pronded, she can have them for the same price she can from others. She will give us countenance with the powers of Barbary, and speak a good word for us to Portugal. I am not at liberty to say by what means tliis paper came into my hands, but it was obtained by no undue means. I have had the honour to converse with some of the delegates in congress from this state, and addressing them on the subject of this proposition, which had become a common topic, I was answered, ' that the business was a secret.' I was answered by others, ^ that the aflfttir was not exactly as represented to the public* Does not this strongly imply, that, at least, the proposition has been made, and tliat some atten- tion has been paid to it ? other members of that body have frankly acknowledged that it had been the sub- ject of debate, and that it seemed unnecessary to pre- tend any secrecy about it, as all things were as well understood without doors as within. But to settle the matter at once, has not the state of Virginia taken up the Gutject and instructed her 44 Gazette Publications, delegates ? Is not this a stronc^ presumption, that she has had direct iiitei)i:^ence from them respecting it ; or, is it not conclusive e\ddence, that the common conversation, and gazette publications (with no dis- avowal or contradiction by congress) were judged bjr her to be a sufficient ground whereon to found in- structions. I Say no disavowal or contradiction by congress ; which, by the bye, is with me conclusive evidence, that this proposition has been made, and is on the ta- pis. We have lately seen, that, it having been re- ported that Spain had ceded tlie Floridas to France, congress have been careful to publish the letter .of the count de Vergennes contradicting the report : Is it to be supposed that the congress would hear the disquietude that prevails throughout the states, on account of the report v/ith respect to the Spanish pro- positions, and not compose the minds of the people, by contradicting it ? on these grounds, I can have no doubt that the fact is as stated in the gazettes, and in conversation amongst the people. It will be said, why instruct our delegates ? is there a presumption that they wdll not do what is right ih this case ? there is a presumption ; because common fame, and the reasoning said to be advanced by some of these delegates in conversation, evinces that they voted in favour of the proposition. If the sense of this house is against it, it wdll be necessary to bind our delegates by instructions expressive of a contrary sense. Will it be said that w^e have not the power to in- struct our delegates ? I well know that some of the members of the house are prepared to contend this point agiJnst me. I would say then, that however doubtful it may be, as to a borough or county to bind tlieir representatives by instructions, there can be no doubt in the case of a representative in congress : — • even in the case of a borough or county, it is at most doubtful. Sydney is of opinion that instructions bind Gazette Publications, 45 not. Burke in his letter to the citizens of Bristol, has the same sentiment. Lord Abingdon ans.rers Burke, and is supposed to have established a contrary prmci- ple. Indeed it seems inseparable from the principle of representation. Montesquieu, in his chapter on the English constitution, takes notice of the senti- ment of Sydney, but says there can be no doubt where the body represented is an independent power and has complete government within itself. The deputies of the states general are instructed, and become obedi- ent. Under the articles of confederation, have we not the power of recalling our delegates within the year ? Docs not this imply a cognizance or know- ledge of their votes and sentiments ? How shall we recall unless we disapprove, and how shall we disap- prove unless we know ? If we can recall, naay we not instruct ? For the great object of delegation is to carry into effect the views of those who delegate. It will be said all this is unnecessary, for Spain has the right of navigating this river, and our delegates have done justly in conceding it. What ? has the court of Spain an exclusive right to this river ? Upon w hat principle is it founded ? vShe has the possession of both shores ?d the mouth of the river.. ..Does this give a right ? On what principle ? The law of reason ? I should suppose not. It is the law of reason that every man shall have a right to so much of the earth as is necessary for his own subsistence.... compacts of soci- ety may give more, but under the great law of reason and nature no man has a right to more than he can occupy or appropriate. The right by discovery has been carried to a great length when we speak of sta- ble earth ; b\it this doctrine has not been applied until lately to the element of water. True, the great Selden in v/hat is called his Mare Clausum carries his chim of Britain over the high seas to a great- length ; But Grotius in his Mare Liberum, and all the wi iters on the law of nations, support him in restricting the En- glishman to within at least cannon shot of his shore. 46 Gazette Puhlicatiom. Whei'e is it known ; in what country in Europe ; 0J< what river is it pretended, that the possession of oner or both shores, or any part, can give an exclusive priv"' ilege of the river ? Passing through the straits of El* sineur the Russian may pay toll, but it is in compen-»' sation of the expences of the Dane in keeping up a lighthouse on the coast. The Turk has impeded the navigation of the Dardanelles, but it has been fought on the Ister and the Wolga ; the Niester and Borist-- henes. The justice of the cause has prevailed, the passage is laid open. The sword of the Russian ha3 commanded it, and the Imperial flag is unfurled on the Archipelago and Mediterranean seas. The.navi* gation of the Danube and the Rhine and other rivers^ is settled by the constitutions of the Germanic body. In no case before the present, has the possession of the mouth of a river been supposed to give the exclu- sive navigation of the whole. To convert the case \ would it be justifiable in the United States (were it in their power) to prohibit to Spain the privilege of ascending that river within our boundaries I Would it be just (were it in oUr power) to divert the %vaters of the Mississippi near the source and give them a di- rection to the lakes and St. Lawrence river ? Spain would reclaim, you have deprived me of my natural, right. I sat down upon these shores with the river flowing by them, under the expectjition of enjoy- ing this advantage : you deprive me of it, you disap- point my wishes and the great object of the God of nature who bade the river flow in tlds channel. We will now use this language and say to Spain, you are unjust, and may as well deprive us of the ele- ments of light and air, as of this river. Shall I not taste because another has drank ? Shall I not breathe be- cause another has breathed before me ? Shall I not see because a ray of light has first touched your eye I We have a right to use this river even against the first occupants, provided there is space sufficient foF Gazette Publications, 47 Hhe American bark to pass by the Spanish vessel and fall into the bay ^f Mexico. The right is ours on the principle of treaty and convention. On the 10th of February, 1763, the Flo- Tidas were ceded by France to Britain, with the free navigation of the Mississippi IVom the source to the .ocean. Subjects of Great-Britain, we remained in that jight until the declaration of independence. Did we lose it by that circumstance ? We did not certainly ; we retained every thing which was ours before, and acquired something more. By the treaty between the '.United States and Britain, Septembers, 1783, the right of the free navigation of this river is recognized -to the United States, and this before the cession of the Ploridas to Spain. On every principle, therefore, the law of reason, the law of nations, the usage and cus- ttom of nations, by treaty and convention the right is iCiurs. Will it be said that the great writers on the law of nations, Einkershoek, Vattel, Grotius, Puifendorf and .others have said nothing explicitly on the right which .a nation has of navigation, who possesses both shoresof any water ? It is laid down by these, that it is allowa- ble to. pass through the territory of a neighbouring power to carry war into the country of an adversary ; and by close analogy there must be the same privi- lege of trade through the territory of a neighbouring power and much more of descending a river that pas- ses through liis doniiriions, and of visiting foreign ports. It will be said, it is our right, and Spain has impli- rcdly admitted it, demanding a guarantee of ,an exclu- -sive claim of twenty -five years, and proposing com- .mercial advantages in lieu of the guarantee. Let us .consider the advantages : they are not reciprocal.... ■ The privilege of a commercial subject of Spain is not ^equal to the piivilege of a commercial citizen of these states. Under a despotick monarchy what immunity pr safety can a merchant have I Under a free state 48 Gazette Publications, his safety is certain, his privilege is secure. Spain, therefore, by giving to an American what we give to a Spaniard, gives less than we give. Will slie open all ber ports to us ? No ; approach not the Spanish main ; touch not at Poito Rico ! Enter not Hispani- ola ! All her insular possessions are prohibited : even the ports of Bilboa and Gviipusca in old Spaui are shut to us. What do we give ? All our ports ai-e open ; ingress to all our harbours. The exchange is not equal to all the states. She will take fish and lumber from Massachusetts Bay, flour from Pennsylvania, but she will refuse tobacco from Maryland and Virginia. The exchange is not equivalent. "We gain nothing more than what we shall always have while the v/ants of this power remain the same. If she refuses to re- ceive our fish, lumber, or flour, the vacuum will be supplied elsewhere, and the commodity vAW go to that market. With respect to her interposition with the Barbary powers in our behalf, much cannot be expected from it : a treaty v.dth those powers is like a treaty with savages, it is of short continuance. The moment she will cease to pay, they will commence war. She cannot defend herself or her more particular friends from them. Do we not lately hear of a Neapolitan vessel that had been dctrdned by them, even though the property of don Carlos, the king of the two Sici- lies, nephew of the Spanish sovereign. It would be infinitely more eligible to depend upon ourselves and secure the affections of our people. - It is laid do^vn by some merchants vnth whom I have conversed, that a trade with the v/estem coun- try would be more profitable than a trade with Spain. This country \^dll be the Germany of America ; offi- cina gentium, the great birth place of nations, where millions yet unoorn shall exist : it will be the Russia of America in point of the trade which will be car- ried on. Iron, lumber, hemp, hides, ful* and other Gazette I'liulications^ 49 things will be carried jience by the merchants of these very towns on the sea coast, and like the to\ms in Holland and England by the |lussian trade, they will i>e enriched and aggrandized.- Not until the popula- tion of the western country is extended will even Phi- ladelphia become a great city. I have seen; this du- ring the war ; the traders coming from this city, planting themselves on our rivers with merchan- dise and stores, and collecting the produce of the country, descending by the Ohio river, and vend- ing their cargoes at New-Orleans, or the foreign mar- kets—returned again to this city, and laid out the mo- ney which they had acquired. If in course of a war, amidst the danger of savages on the river banks, fre- quently capturing the boats, this trade was so benefi- cial, what miglit we not expect if it was unrestrained, and the communication open ? The benefit of that country was sensibly felt. Since the decline of trade, even at this time, the whole country languishes : the wheat of last year lies in the barn : there is no object to prompt industry — we are sinking to the pastoral and bordering on the barbaric state. But have congress the power to cede to Spain the navigation of the river ? they have not. By an arti- cle of the confederation it is provided, <- that the terri- tory of any state shall not be ceded for the benefit of the whole.' How, then, shall territorial advantages be ceded, Avithont which the territory is of no value ? You may cede the territory, if you cede the river by which it is watered, £cc. by which you have a communica- tion v/ith the ocean and v. ith the world. Change the case : have the congress a right to cede the navigation of the Potomack or the Delaware ? Philadelphia may one day be the rival of Nevv^-Or- leans : encoun-ged by bur facility, she may demr.nd that this river hit occluded, and propose to the united states commerciui advantages, in exchange for this sa- icrifice. E 50 Gazette Publications. Had congress the power, would it be expedient f will it not alienate the affections of this infant country? wiH they not bind tlien#elves with Canada, or endea- vour to detach some of the southern states. Is it of no service to preserve the affections of this infant coun- try ? Treat thy son delicately^ says the wise man, and . Gazette Publications, 5Z THE Legislature of Pennsylvania, of which I was a member at the time, took a lead in appointing delegates to new-model the confederation of the Unit- ed States ; when the new Constitution had been re- ported to our house, it remained to call a convention of the state to deliberate on the adoption of it. An opposition was found to exist, at least to the calling a convention at that time, and there appeared no pro- spect to the dissentients of defeating it but by absent- ing themselves from the house, of which the follow- ing is a statement made at the time and published in the gazette of the western country, and supported by some pleasantry in a poetical way turning to ridicule the attempt, and calculated to allay the unfavourable impressions made upon tlie publick mhid by th^ cir- cumstance. Narrative of the Transactions of the late Session of Assembly, so far as they respect the System of Confederate Government^ PROPOSED by the GeNERAL CONVENTION OF THE States at Philadelphia. WHEN the late general convention of delegates from twelve states, which sat at Philadelphia, had dis- solved, it was signified to our house, by our delegates in that body, that they were ready to report what had been done by them in the business to which they had been appointed. They were accordingly introduced, and the aged aad venerable Franklin having address-» E 2 54 Gazette Puhlicat'ionf^ cd the speaker, delivered to him that plan of govern- ment for the states, Which had been the result of four .months deliberation. At the request of the house it was read by the speaker himself, a very numerous gallery attending ; some of the most respectable in^- habitants of Philadelphia, whom the greatness of the occasion had induced to be present. Silence was preserved until they had retired from the house ; but then an universal acclamation v/as heard, and a cur- rent of joy ran through the city, and the bells rung. There being now a prospect that wx should enjoy the. fruits of our sufferings through the revolution ; b3^ the happiness of a forcible and effective governmentj which would secure peace at home, and give us re* spect abroad. Petitions were presented.in a few days to the house from near ten thousand of the inhabitants of Philadel- phia, and the neighbourhood, all ranks and parties joining to -f'equest the house that they would recom- mend the choosing representatatives in a convention of the state, to adopt this frame of government. Ov^ Friday, the day before we had prx^posed to adjourn, a member moved to take the sense of the house on this- subject. A debate ensued ; some being of opinion that we ought to wait until we heard from Congress, our present federal head, and to whom the late con- vention had made report. That indeed we had no right to proceed in this business until the Congress should recommend it. For by the ardcles of confede- ration " no two or more states shall enter into any treaty, confederation or alliance vrhatever between them, without the consent of the United ^tates in Congress assembled ; nor shall any alteration be made unless agreed to by Congress, and confirmed by the thirteen states." To this it was answered, that the calling the late convention did not originate with Congress ; it began with the state of Virginia, which Avas followed by thi$ State, without any hint of the necessity of this mea-» .Gazette Publications, 55 sure from Congress whatever ; it was a proceeding altogether out of the confederation, and with which Congress had nothing to do. The refusal of Rhode- Island to confirm that alteration of the articles of con- federation which gave to Congress the right of im- posing five per cent on all imports, had shewn the ne- cessity of departing from the articles which rendered it necessary that thirteen .states should agree in any iilteration, and had given rise to the calling the con- vention. This was recurring to the great source of all authority, the people, and taking up the thing wholly on new ground. It was a direct violation of the articles of confederation, and in the face of them, and therefore it was improper to consult Congi-es^ about it ; that they ought not to seem to knov/ any thing of it, until the new system was organized, and the dissolution of the old pronounced. It would be unnatural in the present Congress to recommend their own death. That the convention had reported to Congress was not necessary ; for the delegates of each state doubtless reported to their several legisla* tures, and that was sufficixint. It was a thing merely of compliment that the convention had reported to Congress ; and it was a thing merely of compliment in us to wait for any communication of Congress respecting it. In the second place, if we should leave the matter to the representatives of the next house, it would be late in the year before a convention could meet ac- cording to their recommendation ; this state would lose the credit of taking the lead in the business ; other states who might follow would not have tim^e sufficient before December 1788, the time appointed for the meeting of the new Congress, to provide for tJie choosing delegates, Sec. or to make any arrange- ment which might be necessary for the organizatioa of the new system. The sense of the house being taken, there were 4% in favour of the motion j 1 9 against it. 56 Gazette Publications, It was now the middle of the day, and the honse ad- journed until the afternoon. On the roll being called at this time, there were nineteen absent, and eighteen of those who had voted against the motion in the fore part of the day. There not being a house, forty -five members only present, the sergeant at arms was dis- patched to desire their attendance. On his return being examined, he informed the speaker that he had found the members convened at the house of major , with two of the council, Messrs. ■ and . That he had delivered the message, but they had declined to attend. On this the members present were requested by the speaker to attend on the next day, at the usual hour of adjourn- ment, viz. half past nine o'clock in the forenoon. At this time the forty -five members met, but the ab« scondents on the former day were still absent. The speaker informed the members, that he had that morning received from Congress by express who had rode all night from New-York, and arrived about 6 o'clock, dispatches containing an unanimous resolution of that body recommending to the states the calling a convention for the consideration of the new system. That he had taken the trouble to call on Messrs. , , and others, and to shew them these dispatches ; that all ground of debate being now removed, they might come, and join the other members in this and the remaining business of the house. That as nevertheless these members had not attended, it would be proper to send the sergeant at arms with a message to them. For not only this business of recommending the calling a convention, but also much other business remained to be completed. There were ten bills lying on the table ready to be passed into laws, all which would.be lost unless a house could be made ; a great deal of inferior busi- ness to be arranged, wliich should the next house have to go over again, it would cost the state some thour sand dollars. On this the sergeant at arms was dis- Gazette Publications. 57 patched, together with a clerk of the house, to read to the refractory members, the dispatches of Congress, for the arrival of which they had the day before in- sisted the house ought to wait. The sergeant at arms returned with two of these members, , and informed the house', that he had not been able to deliver the message to the others ; he had got his eye on some of them, but they had disappeared ; particularly he pursued • the length of a square, but he hastened Ms pace^ and by turning a corner got out of view.* But there being now a quorum, it was proposed to proceed to business ; when , rose and informed the house, that he had been brought there by con-, straint \ it was observed that the house could take no cognizance of the manner in widch he was brought. If force was necessary to bring him to do his duty, the more shame for him. But there he w^iS, and it remained to proceed to business. On this he offered five shillings the fine for non-attendance, and propo- sed to withdrav/. The house refused to give him leave, and he sat down. The business was completed in the course of the day, and the house dissolved. There can be no doubt but that it was in the power of the house, to have dispatched the sergeant at arms for the refractory, members who were absent, and that it was in his power to have called on tlie posse to assist him in bringing them in by force. That also it was in the power of the house to have fined and im- prisoned them for this conttm/it j but as a house was made without them, it was thought not worth con- suming the time of going through this, on their ac- count ; more especially as there was scarcely time remaining sufficient to conclude the business of the session, in the course of the day, being Saturday, and the members were anxious to return home. * Us lay that iv/iolc afternoon in the upper stcry of tho house of- „ , , , . 52 Gazette Publications, On the RlfNNING AWAY OF THE NINETEEN MEM- BERS OF Assembly from the house, when it WAS PROPOSED TO CALL A CONVENTION TO CON- SIDER THE NEW SYSTEM OF CONGRESSIONAL GO- VERNMENT ; AND ON THE APOLOGY MADS B^^ THEM IN THEIR ADDRESS, £cc. J HUDIBRASTIC. AWAY from me all jests and slurs, On Pennsylvania senators, Save those alone the Tergent few. Who from the senate-house withdrew When was proposed new government i For as if demon had been sent. To strike them with phrenetic fury, They ran off headlong hurry scurry : Some ran ta cellars, or absconded In kitchens, and were there impounded^- *Mongst these there ran a western wight. Who took the fore way in the flight j He got a garret by his clambering, And lay all day in his mind hammering Escape from danger and alarms Of furious, fiery sergeant at arms, Aided by tumultous rabble, Who from the gallery slipt cable Gazette Publications, 5^ To take and bring liim to the house, While here he lay entrenched like mouse. But now uplifting eye 'midst barrels, The caitiff spoke : ah me what perils Environ when the city posse, Draws fist em'ag*d across the nose o* ye ! Enough to vex a son of Adam, To be pursued by such a swad o'em *Twas well I took the first door open, Though here I ly pent up in cow pen^ Just at that instant came the house-maid Alarm'd by hearing such strange noise made, Mistook the thing she saw for robber. And was afraid he might play hob with her ; She scream*d aloud ; up came the mistress, To learn the occasion of the distress. She join'd the scream ; next came the host, To see if 'twas a rat or ghost.... The wight began to claw his breech, And make apologizing speech.... I am, sjud he, an assemblyman, Who to this upper story ran.... Assemblyman I. ...by tlie life of Pharaoh, You are from the wheel barrow. Do not I hear the chains rattle. That usually are ty'd to cattle ? With that he knock'd him down with bludgeon, And drew him from his airy lodging ; 60 Gazette Publications. And on the lower floor put question, Has he a party colour'd vest on, Or is his head shav'd ? at this crisis, Said one examine what his phiz is. The wight was known, a senator ! No room to doubt it, or demur. But now distinguish*d clear as day-light, They wash'd his face and gave him eye-light : And the domestics pver-joyM Convey'd him to the house of Boyd; Here were conven'd of the nineteen, Who in the apostacy had been, A dozen or more : say shall I use Feign'd names as doth the inventive muse^ Or in direct expression call. Each by his own name literal ? I chuse the first ; then say there were. Two orators of speech more clear. Could scarce tell which of them was worthier; Grogram the one, Bogram the other. Grogram spoke first : ah what avails, Tills stratagem of turring tails ? A bouse is made.; the business done, Convention will be cali'd &on, This system that we so much dread. Will soon like cap be pull'd o*er head ; A hau'^ing matter to our wishes, Not giving time to say God bless us. So universal is the current "We dare not openly make stir in't I Gazette Publications, 61 Bnt how to meditate side blow, Is what we must determine now. Bogram : one way is left alone, To keep the thing from going ^ovm ; That is to make a contribution Of clamour of the constitution. In popular measure when good reason, Has come across, and stop'd my weazon, I oft have try'd this last resource, And found it had a magic force, To quell objections and prostrate. All argument of sober weight Call constitution. Grogram now ; I fear my friend this will not do. The thing is made a stalking horse, So long that almost every nurse. Knows that it is a pussy tabby. To still the populace like baby ; A stratagem long us'd in war, "* Is lost because familiar, Like silly boy that oft cries fire, Is reckoned by the others a liar, Expedient of novel nature, In state affairs is always better. Unless some other scheme is got, Our projects must all go to pot. Now at this critical non plus, Our wight arose and argued thus : F G2 Gazette Publications, Though constitution's almost done, There's still some picking in the bone, A new occasion gives new use, And let's the prejudices loose, No writing can be understood. Or read at once by the multitude, And in obscurity there's fear ; So, we can get a footJiold here. Say that this novel government, Is form'd by them Avith an intent, To eat up the offices of the state, And make each one of themselves great ; That under tliis outrageous system No man alive will dare say peas t' them, That soldiers arm*d wiih battle axes, Henceforward Avill collect the taxes ; That the convention in great fury, Have taken away the trial by jury ; That liberty of the press is gone, We shall be hang'd each mothers son ; Say Lord knows what, as comes in head, Pretences for a scare crow made j Tell them that Mason of Virginia, And Randolph shun'd the ignominy Of putting hand to the state paper, And Eldridge Gerry made a caper, The other way : say this and more t' 'em. And leave the result of it to fortune, Or in the words of better sense, To good discretion and Providence. Gazette Publications, 63 Just at this moment came a writer, Had drawn up all these paragraphs better ; It was in shape of an address, In substance neither more h^ less Than an apology worth making. For their disorderly house-breaking.... Accosting them ; said he my masters, Here is the sovereign of all plaisters For your desertion from the senati.', Cost me a good deal of pains to pen it ; The address was read ; it was approved ; All made their marks to it as behoved ; The writer thankM ; nor could do less ; They hurry 'd it away to the press. m Now Grogramrose....'Tis well what's done, Though still we are but coming on ; For who so buried in the ocean Of ignorance to credit notion, That Washington could haye de^>ign, Our government to undermine ; Or aged Franklin to erase Our constitution from the base. Or other wise men of convention Have such inferior intention ; Or that conspiring, one and all, They foiTn'd a plan tyrannical, To eat up liberty among us And make our laws a mere Mundungus r 64 Gazette PubTications^ Besides our names just put on paper, Will sanction the convention labour i For who will not give preference^ In point of reason and of sense, To list of members from the states, Compared with our inferior pates ? There's Wight himself just come from mooring, His anchor on the upper flooriBg Is in reality but a weaver, Though ^ his trade he may be clever. This gave offence to signior Wight, Was almost angry enough to bite, For true, he was of the occupation, Nor did he think it a degradation. Unless when waggs, just fiddle faddle, • In ^vay of talk, would call him, Traddle^ But being now assemblyman. He wish'd to put it off his hand. And keep the mystery from view ; But we shall call liim Traddle too. Just for the whim of the odd name, For what we call him 'tis the same.... Provided we but know what's meant, Which of all language is the intent ; Then as he means to speak, be it known^ Traddle is the name he must own. Traddle.... stop, sir, 'tis ill bred, Tos/throw reflections on a trade.... What tho' I drive a shuttle, yet, Gazette Publications, 65 I may be charg'd with affairs of st^te, A weaver is as good's a farmer, And often by profession far more, Vers'd in news and politics, So no more of your dry tricks To slm' men's calling.... ' Pardon sir, Quoth Grogram, I mean not to slur, Or give opinion of the matter. Or move at your expence Fxiy laughter, I only hint what others may, Invidiously in tliis case, say, . , When they compare both lists together, That of convention and this, whether, The occupation and the trading. Will not be brought heels over heacl in, A3 whether you or old Ben Franklin, Ought to be follow'd in the wrangling.... You skill'd in woof and warp, while he Has traveird over land and sea Survey 'd all "states and the foundation Of government through every nation ; Not that I doubt yoii may be equal To him and shev/ it in the sequel. But some may doubt you could at once By force of yourself make^such a boiice. Grogram : I verily believe, Bogram has no design to give Offence^to Ti'addle ; but what's true, In this case, 'tv/i'l give miuch adoj F 2 65 Gazette Publications, To overpower the names against us, Although we take the greatest pains t'us y But let us do what can be done. For instance, as to WASHiNGTOisr, Say his skill lies wholly in arms, And care of his Virginia farms ; But nothing knows of state affairs. No more than BufF'Io does of prayers j And as to Franklix say he fails, In judgment as his age prevails ; These hints will help the lame dog over The stile and give us time moreover. To breathe awhile ; the worst o' the worst Is but to be where were at first. Thus ha\ing spoke all bow'd acclame And seem'd to think the very same ! J^st at this instant came a writer ; What if I should throw in my mite here ? Give inuendoes out in legions And string objections up like pigeor^s— ' Here is a piece sign'd Centinel* If that vdil do, as false as hell, This may accompany the address As greater snake is by the less. It was approved and Traddle spoke, Grogram and Bogram, you are folk, Who know the tricks and quirks of law, * A Publication at thi^ time in mimber^ Qguinst t/ii Udojiiicnoftlis Qorndtution, i Gazette Publkatiom. What power it has to clapper claw j Say in your wisdom what redress, Against insurgents more or less, Who with such after claps broke loose, When we absconded from the house, j Is not such overshot of rage, Breach of assembly privilege ? Where commonwealth in her OAvn right, May order attorney to indict ? Grogram — amongst ourselves I say't I rather fear event that state Will order bill for misdemeanour, Against us taken in the mainour Of BREAKING HOUSE. It may be said. That run-away match we have made^ Is in despight of rule and order,. And doth on sort of treason border. Dissolving government at once, By such clandestine kind of sconce And terg'versatio'n. Bogram — I differ ^ For has it not been argued ever That constitution needs a check, Of upper house, to take by th' neck The lower ; Now outer house may be, Of the same use. Minority, In any instance may withdraw, And give a negative to the law. Traddle — Just my opinion of the matter, It is the speediest check in nature, 63 Gazette Publications » And leaves the governmeot still simple, Those therefore who would compel, Our pers'nal presence when absconding, By riotous assault and wounding, Deserve the rigour of the law, With every kind of clapper claw, Of action and indictment bill, /ijid punishment agaia^t their will For the misprision, -Grogram to Traddle : But when the juries come to meddle, With time and place and where of the assuult, Whether in garret or in vault, And how we hasten'd from the sergeant, Dispatch'd to bring us message urgent, The circumstance against us there, May seem t' affect our character. For instance it may come to our spouses That we were found in bawdy houses. Or that with wine being mellower. Had fallen do^vn the steps of a cellar. It may be said by way of burlesque, That Traddle while he lay at his risque, In garret was of the UPPER HOCSE, And other things ridiculous. It may be said that skunks vre are And wage posterior kind of war : For when we mean the most t' offend j We turn about the other end. Gazette Publications. 69 Scarce^ ended speech when Boyd the host, Rush'd in and bid each take his post, In other quarters of the toAvn, For there was Barry* coming down,. With half a legion of the posse, Swearing should he come across ye, .To tar and feather ye like geese, And tear my house down in a trice. A word to the wise was here enough, The orators and groupe ran off And when poor Barry came to search, He found he was left in the lurch. * Captain, -^vfc- ® ->:>- ^ A DEFENCE being published of the absconding from the house of delegates as the only check in the power of the minority, the follovdng observations were addressed in support of that idea. YOU have great merit in answering an objec- tion which has been made to the constitution of Penn- sylvania, the want of an efficient check on the enacting laws hastily. There is not an upper, but there may be an outer house, the dissenting members abscond- ing or receding when the vote is about to be taken. The many can enact laws, but the/t-w may prevent. It is in fact putting the government into the hands of the minority, for without them cannot any thing be 1 70 Gazette Publications, done that is done. But this is analogous to things in nature. The tail is a small part of the fish, and ytt it directs the whole body. The rudder of a ship is small, compared with the hull and rigging, and yet it moves it any way. What wonder then, that the minority by turning tally should govern the whole le- gislature ? I acknowledge this will considerably affect the sys- tem of education ; alertness and speed of foot be- coming the necessary qualification of a legislator ;" for if a member is not swift in running off, the check may be lost, tlie vote being taken before he fairly disap- pears. There will hence be two kinds of motions in the house, that to the speaker and the other to the door. - •• \ It may be well to study wrestling. A scuffle may ensue, the minority endeavouring to get out, and the majority to keep them in. On the principle of strength of body, skill in jostling, and agility of heels, it will be improper to send old and* weak men to the house, because they will be unabie to exercise this check to advantage. A doctor must be paid to attend the house, with plaisters for the broken shins of the members, over benches running off. A boy also to pick up wigs.. It would be adviseable in all cases Avhere the vote does not come too quick upon them, to withdraw in- sensibly, by slipping out one by one, until they are all gone. Great is the excellence of this check, and the in- ventor of it deserves as great a premium as the disco- verer of the longitude. Nevertheless it will be pro- per to exercise it modestly, and not he retrograding always on every negative, lest they make a farce of the business. On the same principles tljiat I justify the minority^ which is the inob of the house, in withdrawing,,! would apologize for the mob out of doors in bringing them back ; that is a secondary check in the ccnstitu- Gazette Publications, 71 ^on, giving perfect safely, which no other govern- ment on earth has. That they have the right to bring them back on the principles of the constitution, there can be no doubt. Each member is the repre- sentative, not of his particular county only, but of the whole state. Every constituent has therefore an interest in the attendance of each member. On his departure may he not take him up and bring him l^ack to his duty ? Indeed, had the mob no right, yet it would be im- possible to hinder them from exercising this check ; for when they see men running, how can they tell but that they have stolen money from some of their colleagues, who may wish to have them back in order to be searched. There is only one thing against this check, and that is, the indignity done to the members ; and the consequent indecency of chasing them like men es- caped from the wheel-barrow, and ferreting them out \ of garrets* and cellars, in order to retake and bring I them back to their places. Another thing is, that breaking up the house, unless they can be retaken, the work they leave undone is all lost, which may ! often cost the state great sums of money ; but this might be laid as a tax upon their own estates, and so this excellent check still preserved. ,i Having thus acknowledged the use of this negative \ and shewn the right of the minority of the constituents, \ \\z. a mob to counter check this, the constitution, like j a double gcered mill, will be allowed by all good \ judges to be the. best that the wit of man can devise. 72. Gazette Publications, ■e^ THE preceding was not without its effect at the time ; but as the Hudibrastic rhyme had attracted at- tention and was in the mouths of the people, and the minority continuing to justify the secession it Avas thought not umiss to follow it up vaxh another scrap in the same vein of irony and burlesque. Apology for the Dissentients in the State Convention. AS naturahbodies are made tip, Of higher, lower, bottom, top, In other words of head and tail, So bodies politick as well, Of upper, nether, end should be. Why then hidignant do we see, Such things as Traddle and Humbuguift, And Tadryhash, and hogum mogum, 'Mongst managers of state affairs, Of which they know no more than bears ? Will not a sample such as these, With sense not half so much as geese, Serve properly to represent. The ignorance by which they're sent, And shew that in the common weal, There is a head as well as t^l ? Gazette Publications. .73 There's no philosopher but construes^ That thing a prodigy, or monstrous, Which from the natural shape departfj, And has not all its proper parts. 'Twas thus devising, the nineteen, Who in the apostacy were seen, When first the question was proposed The general goven^ment oppos'd ; Because when others got a start, 'Twas right to be th' inferior part, And for the sake of natural order, With head above, posteriors under. And least the contrary should prevail. Did actually themselves turn taiL Then why upbraid assemblymen. For what was modesty in them ; Or why arraign convention members, For being sort of under timbers, I'th the state ship, by holding back, When weightiest interest was at stake. And still preserving natural order. Of stem and stern would go no further ? They say themselves in their dissent, 'Twas on this principle they went, Because in constitution novel, They could not toss up with a shovel. To rank of Congress, weavers, coopers, And every sort of interlopers, To be a draw-back on affairs. And lurch the house at unawares. G 74 Gazette Pubticatioris., I grant there's not a grdn of sense, In what they liberally dispense, (And marks the heart bad, or the head dull,) Of constitution wanting schedule Or inventory, or if you will, A kind of apothecary bill Of rights-— For is not instrument Which gives the idea of government, The schedule or the bill in question. And gives in article and section— What right each state has in the union, And what the whole have in conmiimion ? But still that argument has weight, Which tunis which way it will the pate, Nor should discarded be a phrase. Which puzzles so the populace. The terai itself is good enough In British constitution wove, A statute which bank'd out the cro^vn, Whose boundary had not been kno^vn— « But where no crown is to oppose, What there's to do with it, Go.d knows, No matter ; for it answers purpose, And helps an arguer out in discourse. I grant I would have studied years, To raise objections and bug-bears. Before this would have cross'd my wizzen, As having the least shew of reason ; Or when suggested could believe, That men such nonsense would receive— Gazette Publications* ?5 Sut is there not iji all things else, A kind of toss iip, heads and tails, And great effects do oft arise From cause too small 'for human e^/es ; Nor can at all times sages tell, By philosophic lore or spell, How the inferior means may work, ^Vhich under inexperience lurk. When first I heard the phrase I laugh'd, As if the devil himself had calv'd. The strange absurdity-^-forsooth, " It takes away the rights of both. The heait and head :"■ Though by the bye, No mortal can tell how or why — Let any man consult his own sense, And ^ay how liberty of conscienccy Can be restrained in an ill hour, By Congress who have no such power. Or how \h^ freedom of the fir ess ^ Can be molested more or less. With which they have no more to do, Than with the Alcoran a Jew. As well may freedom of the teeth. Men use to chew provisions with, Be thought in danger, and jaw bone Of all dread padlocks save their own. But still this reasoning good or bad, Shews the position I have made. That authors of this kind of thesis Are at the fag-end of their species. 1 76 Gazette Publications. But whence is it that most of these,. Were of the western country geese ? Because 'tis reasonable that we The legislative tail-tree be. Let Pliiladelphia be the head, And Lancaster the shoulder blade ; And thence collecting in a clump, A place called Stoney-Ridge the rump> The tail will naturally stretch, Across the Alleghany ridge. While we submit to stubborn fate> And be the backside of the state. THE following is a sample, perhaps a caifca- ture of the objections to the adopting the Federal Constitution, as they appeared in the publications of the time. Ridicule is not the test of truth, but it may be employed to expose error, and on this occasion it seemed not amiss to use it a little, as a great object was at stake, and much prejudice or wilful misrepre- sentation to be encountered. It will shew also that, on our part, though in a remote quarter, we Avere wiHing to be assisting, and contributed a little to consolidate the government of the union, which, after all the p^n» taken, was with great difiiculty brought about. Taiitse molis erat rempublicam condere nostram. Gazette Publications, 77 Cursory Remarks on the Federal Consti- tution. • IT is not my intention to enter largely into a considemtion of this plan of government, but to sug- gest some ideas in addition, and of the same nature with those already made ; shewing the imperfections I and the danger of it. I • The first thing that strikes a diligent observer, is I the want of precaution with respect to the sex of the i president. Is it provided that he shall be of the male , gender ? The Salii, a tribe of the Burgundians, in the eleventh century, excluded females from the sove- I reignty. Without a similar exclusion what shall we think, if in progress of time we should come to have ; an old woman at the head of our affairs ? But what I security have we that he shall be a rjhite man ? What '' would be the national disgrace if he should be elected from one of the southern states, and a vile negro \ should come to rule over us ? Treaties would then be formed with the tribes of Congo and Loango ; instead of the civilized countries of Europe. But is ( there any security that he shall be a freeman ? Who t knows but the electors at a future period, in days of j corruption may pick up a man's servant, a convict [ perhaps, and giv& him the dominion ? Is any care f taken tliat he shall be a man of perfect parts ? Moses, ' the legislator of the Jews, precluded those labouring under any incapacity from enteiing the congregation ^ of the Lord. Shall we in affuirs of a civil nature, ' leave a door open to bastards, eunuchs and the devil I knows what ? H A senate is the next great constituent part of the \ government j and yet there is net a word said "v^ith li G 2 w. ^! 78 Gazette Publications. regard to the ancestry of any cf them ; whether they should be altogether Irish or oiily Scotch Irish. It any of them have been in the war of the White Boys, Hearts of Oak or the like, they may overturn all au- thority, and make the shillela the supreme law of the lafid. The house of representatives is so large that it never can be built. They may begin it, but it never can be finished. Ten miles square ! Babylon itself, uiiless the suburbs were taken into view, was not of greater extent. But what avails it to dwell on these things. The Vr^ant of a bill of rights is the great evil. There was no occasion for 'a bill cf wrongs; for there will b» TJrongs enough. But oh ! a bill of rights. What is the nature of a bill of rights ? It is a schedule or iiiveri' torij of thos^ flowers which the Congress do not /los&ess* But if it is clearly ascertained what powers they have, what need of a catalogue of those powers which thejr have not ? Ah ! there is the mistake. A miiiister preaching, undertook, first, to shew what was in his. text ; second, what was not in it. When it is speci- fied what powers are given, why not also w hat powers are not given ? A bill of rights is wanting and all those things which are usually secured under it. 1. The rights of conscience m^Q swept away. The Confession of Faith, the Shorter Catechism, and the Pilgrims Progress are to go. The Psalms of W^atts I am told, is the only thing of this kind that is lo have any quarter at all. 2. The liberty of the firess ; that is gone at the first stroke. Not so much as an advertisement for a stray horse, or runaway negro, can be put in any of the Gazettes. 3. The trial by jurT/^ that is knocked in the head^ and all that worthy class of men, the lawyers, who li^e by haranguing and bending the juries, are de- molished. I would submit it to any candid man, if in this con* Gazette Publications. 79 stitution there is the least provision for the privilege of shaving tlie beard ? or is there any mode laid dow n to take the measure of a pair of breeches ? Whence then is it that men of learning seem so much to ap- prove, while the ignorant are against it ? The cause is perfectly apparent, viz. that reason is an erring - guide, while instinct, which is the governing princi- '-. pie of the untaught is certain. Put a pig in a poke, ^ carry it half a day's journey through woods and by- ■^vays ; let it out and it will run home without devia- ' tion. Could old Franklin do this ? What reason then . have we to suppose that his judgment, or that of gen. Washington, could be equal to that of in state affairs. Were it not on this principle that we are able to account for it, it might be thought strange that old Livingston, of the Jersies, could be so hood-winked as j> to give his sanction to such a diabolical scheme of ty- ranny amongst men. A constitution which may well be called hell-born. For if ail the devils in Pandemo- nium had been employed about it, tliey could not have made a worse. Neil Mac Laughlin, a neighbour of mine, who has been talking with , says, that under this con- stitution all weavers are to be put to death. What have these innocent manufacturers done that they should be so proscribed ? I>.et other states think what they mil of it, there is one reason why every Pennsylvanian should execrate this imposition upon mankind. It will make his state most probably the seat of government, and bring all the officers, and cause a'great part of the revenue to be expended here. This must make the people rich, enable them to pay their debts and corrupt their mo- rals. Any citizen, therefore, on the Delaware or Sus- quehanna waters ought to be hanged and cursed that would give it countenance. I shall content myself at present with these stric- tures, but shall continue them from time to time as occasion may rec|uire. 80 Gazette Publicatidns. AFTER the adoption of the Federal Constitution, by a Convention of the Citizens in the several states of the Union, it came to be proposed in the Legisla- ture of Pennsylvania, to call a Convention to new- jnodel the Constitution of that Commonwealth. The following was published by me on that occasion, and it may be seen that I considered it as of dangerous precedent, to call a Convention, not having taken a ■vote of the ivhole people on the fir ervious question^ wh€» thcr a Convention shall be called or not. On the calling a Convention, I TAKE this to be a question of the greatest pes* sible moment to the citizens of the state. I have de- liberated on it long ; have felt a strong inclination to favour the measure, both from personal attachment to the men who propose it ; and because I think the state government requires a new organization, and a different disposition of its powers. But weighty ar- guments against it force themselves upon my mind; I do not think it any violation of oath in the represen- tative body to propose it ; and though not within the sphere of their appointment, yet as persons occasion- ally together ; 1 see no evil in suggesting it. But pretermitting the origin and source of the measure^ let us examine the necessity or expediency of it. It is said by the recommendation, that, 1st. « Vari-^ ous instances occur, where this form is contradictory to the constitution of the United States.'* There may fee such, but none occurs to me. Gazette Publicatmis, 81 2d. " Which every member of the legislature, and all executive and judicial officers must be bound by oath or affirmation to support." Will oaths bind those whom honour and interest will not? I hope to see the day, when oaths of office shall be banished, and things be left upon the proper ground, the sense of right, the opinion of others, or the fear of the laws. I think it an inconsistency in the very principle that persons who are capable of meditating a departure from duty in office, could be deterred by an oath. But if an oath in this case is of any use, why not exact it by a law under the present constitution, as it is in favour of a government established by a convention of the people ? 3d. " The burthen and expence of the present form of government is with difficulty borne." I will venture to say it will not be less under any other, nor 4jUght it to be less. The government of such a com- monwealth, cannot be supported with dignity at a less expence : But under a different organization there may be a more judicious application of the same ex- pences ; I mean chiefly in the abridgement or disso- lution of the executive council ; the same sum being applied for the support of a legislative senate. 4th, " The community hath an unalienable, indu- bitable and indefeasible right, to reform, alter or a- bolish government." But, have the majority, or any greater part, that right ? This depends on the forms of the original compact. I should think myself un- safe under any governm,ent which the majority could change at pleasure : At the same time equally unfor- tunate, under one where no alteration could be brought about but by the consent of the whole community. The medium has been wisely struck in all govern- ments formed on first principles, in rendering a vote of two-thirds, or three -fourths, or a greater propor- tion of the people, necessary to effect a change. It is not in this particular, that under the constitution of Pennsylvania, the vote of the council of censors, 82 Gazette Publications, viz. of two-thirds, in calling a convention, is excep- tionable ; but because the representation in that body- is not in proportion to thefiolls but to the counties. If a majority of the people, agreeably to the recom- mendation of the assembly, should concur in calling a convention, I have no doubt, but the minority have a right to resist. They have acquired property un-' der this form of government, they have defended the country under it ; and have not only, by the original compact, in 1776, but on these principle^, acquired a right to a permanency of it ; and alterations only ac** cording to the stipulations of that contract. That the minority would resist, might be, and it would de> pend on the event, whether with the majority it would be a revolution or a rebellion. The point to which it might come is e\ddent. Let a convention be called. A system of government id adopted. Members of the legislature are sent for*- ward, on the new foundation. But \vith the minority, members of assembly go forward on the old. Both lay taxes, levy troops, and we have a civil war. It- fiuits not this western country, soaked with christian and barbaric blood, to be stained with fraternal gore. No stronger instance has occurred of the imperfec- tion of our constitution, than this veiy recommenda-. tion now under view. It is the hasty and intemperati J met oi 2i single branch. It ma/ be said that no council of censors will exist, that will call a convention to make a change. I am not of that opinion^ jMuch light has been thrown • upon the minds of men with respect to the mode of • government, within this short period. The expe- ' rience of our constitution wilL- correct itself. The - council of censors will sit in one year, and I have no doubt will convene with a very different temper from the former. The great evil of our state is the existence of fac- tion. It affords a hiding place to the rogue, and blows the f(Jbl up into office. Faction will not be diminisli- • i Gazette Piiblicattom* ZZ '*f;n, for even a lay^ man to suggest a \/ord or tvo ol doctrine, and which had a good effect -perhaps from the novelty of the manner, coming forward in a newspaper, more thai) from the weight ol the observations. A SERMON. I KNOW THY WORKS, AND WHERE THOU DWELLEST» EVEN WHERE SaTAn's SEAT IS. Rcv. ii. 13. THERE seems to be little or no mention made of a devil in the books of Moses, unless you suppose the book of Job to be of his writing ; for there it is said, that when the sons of God came to present them^ schcs, Satan canic also arnongit them. Nevertheless Gazette Publications. 87 tlie doctrine seems to be well established in the sub- sequent parts of the sacred scriptures. Nor, is it on- iy in divine revelation, that we find tliis idea, but also in the opinions and religious systems of heathen sectis and people. The Mancheans, a school of pagan phi- losophy, amongst the Oriental nations, talk of a ^^ooi/ principle and a bad ; the savages of North- America, tell us, of the good and bad man^ m-eaning the author of happiness, and the author of evil. But there need be little said on this great point, see- ing it is a principle so well established and believed, insomuch that it has become a mode of speech by which we assert truth ; for, we say commonly, if I do not do this, or that, there is no derail. It evinces the firmness of our belief of this doctrine, that when we express our anger against any one, we say, the "devil take him, for whatever insincerity there may •be in our professions of esteem, there is none in our declarations of resentment ; so that the man who wishes his worst enemy at the devil, entertains, doubtless, a persuasion, that there is a devil to re- cei-oe him. That the devil has some fixed habitation, on the face of this eaith, appears, from the expression in die text, " where Satan*s seat is," but our consolation is, that it cannot be in this town, for in that case, he would be at too great a distance from the centre of his vast dominions ; being on the very verge of the set- tled globe, I mean of close settlement and popula- tion. Some of the great cities in the heart of Eu- rope or Asia, must be iiiore convenient for his ope- rations. But it will be asked, how then comes it to pass, that we find traces of his actuig here ? Can he reach his magic wand to us ? or does he make excursions now and then ? In this case it would behove him, to be perpetually on foot ; running to and from the out- skirts, to influence the thoughts, and prompt the conduct of men. No : I take it he is not such a la- 88 Gazette Publications. borious busj'' devil, but consults his ease, and is not always on the pad ; how then, it will be asked, can he manage his concerns ? Doubtless by the interven* tion of subordinate devils, and in this point, as in all others, the Christian system is consistent with rea- son ; for though the Manichean doctrine, and the ideas of barbarous nations admit a devil, yet they do not supply us with a plurality, and enable us to ac- count for the ubiquity of diabolicism. It may therefore be set down as certain, that the* -this town cannot be the seat, or pandemonium of Sa-- tan himself, yet it may be the residence of some in- tendant, or sub-devil. This has been always my private opinion, and I have tal^en great pains, by repeated observations to examine the kind of devil he is. For knowing what manner of spirit he was of, I could the more success- fully apply myself to counteract him. No astrono- mer ever held his tube more constantly to the hea- vens, to ascertain the movements of the heavenly bodies, than I have applied .jny eyes and ears to de- termine the particular powers of this demon ; and this I do not say out of spiritual pride, and vanity of reUgious zeal, but to found the probability and truth of what I shall assert on the subject. The way I have taken was to asoertain that vice which is particularly predommant amongst us, whe- ther it is of a generous and bold nature, or mean and sneaking in its quality, for the offspring usually bears the features of the parent ; the workmanship be- speaks the artificer. I have found this vice to be tale bearing. This is a vice which shews no genius, and requires no wit. It is a low, vulgar, and cowardly iniquity, and designates the devil that inspires it to be of the most inferior species. Some little insignificant cur that could find no employment at the court or pan- demonium of the §;reat devil, or the more important i Gazette Publications, 89 parts of the empire, but was dispatched to this quar- ter as a remote situation. It will be said that all vices are equally infernal, and therefore all equally magnificent. No : for a- mongst the infe^ialia there are the majora and mino- ra peccata, the greater and the lesser sins ; and a noble devil will naturally chuse to exhibit his talents in some splendid .way. But ours is a mean creature ; he attempts nothing great ; we hear of no robberies. Are there any rapes ? And yet I believe we have as handsome women as any in the world. No, the ras- cal exercises himself solely in the lowest acts of mis- chief, this of tale bearing particularly. It is incident to this vice that it is only the most worthless and meanest persons that are capable of it, and with whom none but a little diily devil would choose to have any thing to do. As an asses hoof from its coldness, is said to be the receptacle of poi- son, so the most ignorant and low-thoughted mortals are most proper for the entrance and impulse of a creeping reptile of a devil, that could not agitate a more excellent machine. But what this devil wants in talents, he mcikes up in assiduity. He is as busy as a bee in a tar barrel. Not a word is said by one of another, but it is taken up, carried around, like the brand in the play of Jack's alive and alive like to be ; the tale-bearer, afraid it will die in his possession. If the word is of no ac- count, it is changed ; the inference substituted for it- self, the construction of the v/ord applied in the place of the original expression. If the manner would qua- lify or explain, it is suppressed. The incident that gave rise to it left out. Their own words that intro- duced the conversation omitted. The question made by the tale-bearer, did you hear this ? and do you know that ? wholly passed by. This is a demon, who, where he has no ground at all, will invent. Tins shews him to be artful and ingenious, as all devils H 2 90 Gazette Publications, are ; for when I undervalue his capacity, I mean on- ly the extent of his nature, and not the subtlety of it. You will ask me what principle it is -of human na- ture, that the demon takes hold of to instigate per- sons to this vice. Doubtless the love of ?elf. It is tiie interest of the animal^ with whom this devil has to do, that there should be a difference amongst neighbours ; because, by this discord tliey may gain* It is the policy of such individuaPs, that all others should be at war but themselves. If they envy a neighbour tlie conversation and company of another, ii variance between them is their object. If they hate the neighbour, an indirect war is the safest, by prompt- ing another, whom they do not hate, to undertake it. It is the conduct of a low servant in the family, com- plaming of another, *• He used me ill, and madam he called you names too." The tale-bearer says, the wise man " separateth Yery friends." Persons who have the highest re- spect, and the most cordial regard for each other, and who would have lived and died in amity, are excited to suspicion, hatred and revenge, by this base incen- diary. I'here is no mind which feels not at some mo- ment, irritation at those they most prize, and words are used at this time, which spring like the spark of lire and are extinguished as soon, but they ai-e care* fully picked up and kept alive by the tale-bearer. The passions of men, the anger of the mind, the resent- ments of the moment, the saliency of temper, the sud- den gusts of vexation, and the correspondent ideas and language would be lost, and perish like the April showers ; but the tale-bearer bottles them up, and by his decoctions and composition, they become ch'ops of poison to infect the vitals of all concord in society. It is a master stroke of a tale-bearer, when in a vil- lage like this, where we are slowed away like persons in a jail, or on board a man of war, and know the words, the transactions, the manners, the incidents, and almost tlie thoughts of each other, and when Gazette Publications, 91 ' omething with regard to an individual has become liie subject of general conversation, and the tale-bear>- cr wishes to injure a particular person, to fix on this one as having taken a prmciple hand in the business, because as the conversations has doubtless come his way, and be may have passed it on, there is some truth in the ease, and from the intermixture of a thousand discourses, it is difficult to ascertain what was the special property of any one. It is also the policy of the tale-bearer to fix on some person whose sentiment is of weight, and opinion regp^rded, to play off this artfully against the object hated, and while this crea- ture is blowing the pestiferous breath of flattery in the face of one, and telling them what has been said of them or done to them by another, it is the very per- sons addressed that are chiefly the objects whom they inean to wound, by leading them to entertain passion against a third person, which will produce passion, and lead them to entertain hate to one another, the fair offspring of the succubus, that carried the first tidings. Like- the snakes winding round Lacoon in the fable, they embrace closely, hiss v»dth a serpentine siffila- tion, but they bite m/3rtally, and breathe poison in the veins. It will remain to be considered, in wl^at man- ner we shall best provide against the bad effects of this. On this head I shall lay down a few rules. 1st. When the tale-bearer comes to you, and tells you any tiling of what another has said of you, con- sider whether, besides the general interest which he has in making every body enemies, there is not some particular interest in making you an enemy to the per- son mentioned ; weigh this well, and if you cannot determine immediately, wait some time until events may elucidate the circumstance. Say nothing, feel nothing, do nothing rashly ; and set it down as a cer- tain fact, that let it be as it may, the tale-bearer is a most worthless character, and is impregned with the worst of all evils, for either he invents what he says, pr if he does not, he had bv some means, induced tJie 92 Gazette Publications. confidence of the person of whom he speaks, and which confidence he now violates. 2d. But if from cuxumstances, or even perfect proof, you find that there is some foundation of the account communicated, reflect with yourselves whe- ther you have not given the person, who has ex- pressed himself unfavourably, some provocation to this undervaluing. If so, you are to take it all upon yourself and pass it by, for it is a maxim, thaft the tressfiasser is accoilntable for the consequences. Con- sider also, that if true, it is the tenor of your life that must rebut the calumny, and that the resenting argues some soreness, and consciousness of deserving it. But what is still more Christian and philosophic, for Christianity and philosophy, however they may differ in speculative points, in morals are the same. Op- pose a breast of forgiveness and of love ; be not over- come of evil ^ says the Apostle Paul, but overcome evil ivith good. The wool-pack on the outside of an arm- ed vessel receives the winged ball, and by yielding, though the swiftest and fiercest of all things, it instant- ly reduces it to rest. It is difficult to say when you ^re in the habits of friendship with any one, and you are told that disre- spectful things are said of you by him, whether in- stantly you ought to acquaint him with it, and hav« an explanation, or disregard it wholly, and trust to your own ej'es, and your ears for the fact. I think the last is best, provided you have resolution to hinder it making an impression on your mind. For the calling on a person to answer to reports, argues a distrust of his honour, which tc a delicate rnind is a species of insult, and I will venture to say, will not be easily forgiven. Perhaps to communicate it as the villainy of the informant, and as what you do not be- lieve, may be the just medium. This will bring the author to be understood, and the truth will be known. For I say it again, the general rule is, the tale-beai-er is a worthless person, and this ought to be presumed, until the contrary appears. Gazette Publications. 93 X To conclude ; the writer of this sermon declares, that in these strictures he has no particular person in view, and if any application is made, it will be the act of him who makes the application, and not of me. He only thought to give a little seasonable doctrine. BEING at the seat of the General Government, in the winter of the year 1792, I found the current of opinion in Congressional debates, and in newspa- per publications, to run strong against effective mea- sures with the Indians on our frontiers. These Chil' dren of the forest, as they were kindly called by some, appeared to have humane advocates, who seemed to think them an injured people, and that they ought to be suffered to possess their land, or to defend it as they thought proper. And, amongst those who were willing to repress their ravages, a difference of opi- nion existed with regard to the means, whether by the militia of the country, or by regular troops, and a- permanent force. The following was thrown out in a Gazette, with a view to this object. THOUGHTS ON THE PRESENT INDIAN WAR, BEING occasionally in this city,* I feel myself impelled to give my sentiments on this subject — and I give my name in order to obtain confidence, because * Philadelphia, 94 Gazette Publicatioiis, it is to be presumed that a man will not lightly avd#" what he has not weighed, asd in which he has nc^ confidence himself. I am struck, seeing in the gazettes, extracts of let- ters that were never wiitten, and paragraphs penned from ignorance or mistake of facts. Having resided for some years in the western country, and being in- terested, I have thought much on the subject — and though I may not know more than the most ignorant man there, yet I am persuaded that I know -more- than the wisest man that has never been there. The writers of extracts, and the paragraphists, en-- deavour to affect the public mind by holding up the original right of these aborigines to the soil. It is a right of which I have never thought with much re- sspcct. It is like the claim of the children; it is mine, fo>' I first saw it— or what that of the buffaloe might bii, h is mine, for I have first run over it. I consider the earth as given to man in common, and each should use his share, so as not to exclude Others, and should be restricted to that m(>t:k of using it, which is most Javourable to the support of the greatest numbers, and consequently productive of the greatest sum of hap- piness ; that is, the cultivation of the soil. I pay lit-- tle regard, therefore, to any right which is not found- ed in agricultural occupancy. But supposing these natives to have had an absolute and exclusive right, is it not destroyed by a superve- nient right on our part in consequence of our treaty with Great-Britain ? During the war with that power, were not these natives the subsidiaries of the king of England ; were they not, in his hand, as the tomahawk and scalping knife was in theirs ? Was not the ter- ritory in question ceded by the superior power? Shall we treat with the principal, and make concessions in. lieu of this concession — and shall we again treat with the subordinate, and purchase a treaty and concede to them also ? Be it so ; there is nothing to be said, for it has been done. What has appeared in the pa- Gazette Piiblicatioiis. -95 ^r the other day, from the Secretary at War, has superseded me in stating and iUustrating this. But as to treaties with these Indians, under pre- sent circumstances, I can have no confidence in them .»-Why — Do not savages observe treaties ? No long- er than the principle of fear operates ; being indolent, and more disposed to acquire by taking than by earn- ing. But under present circumstances, all treaty I with them must be nugatory. While Canada was in j possession of the French, were not these Indians hostile to us, and regardless of all treaties, because it was not the interest of that nation that they should .be at peace with us, when it was in their power to ^stigate them to a war. Are we not at this time in the same situation with respect to the Indians, and the British in possession of Canada t Hence it is that it was expedient, and has been found practicable to establish treaties with the Creeks, or other nations remote from the British province. But with these Indians, treaties cannot be established, or if establish- ed, would not be observed. . Whether the British government has an eye to the \ territory ceded, I shall not say — I rather think not ; j Jbut certainly it has an eye to the Indian trade, and on ■ tliis account supports the savages. I shall not say . that this is done directly by the governor of Canada, I .or the commandant at Detroit, but certainly through B the medium of the Indian agents, and with the know- I ledge and approbation of tiie ministry at home. Why else are the posts on the lakes not surrendered, when I ^l pretence of the treaty not being fulfilled on our ' part is taken away ? How have the Indians, north of i the lakes, been excited, and brought to the Miami I village to engage in the war ? certainly, not by the I Shawanese or Wabash Indians, but by the voice of M |the British agents who had stores at Detroit to sup- ! ply them ; two stores called the king's with ammuni- tion, cloathing, and provision. How have so large a body of Indians, as met our army in the late engagd- 96 Gazette PiibUcations. ment, been supported but by provisions from the king's stores ? They've been supplied from a king's store at v.hat are called the Rapids, about sixty miles from the Miami towns. Would Canadian volunteers or militia march to aid these Indians, and not the go- vernment solicit or enjoin it ? That volunteers did turn out, as our phrase is, I know, though not to what amount they may have been in battle. It is not a war, therefore, with the Indians merely ; it is a war with the British king, under cover. Have we felt the jaw of the lion, and shall we be lashed with his tail ? With repect to the mode of w^arfare, to be pursued : v/hat ? Precisely that which was adopted and pur- sued the last campaign, but the means different. — More men, and higher pay : because this will procure better men. A greater proportion of light infantry ; or rifle corps would be advisable. But the system al- ready adopted, and in part executed, I approve. The establishment of forts in the country, and planting ourselves in the face of the British province, and con- vincing those Indians that a greater than the British, whom they venerate, are now there. It is suggested by paragraphists that an incursive war of small parties with a premium for scalps, fight- ing the Indians in their own way would be best. It might, indeed, harrass them ; but from the circum- stances stated, could produce no substantial and last- ing effect. It is also contended that an incursive war of larger bodies, in the manner of the Kentucky volunteers last year, would avail. I say not. I never: considered the Kentucky expedition under Wilkinson or Scott as more than a flourish ; honourable to those who went, but little serAiceable to those at home. Indians are seldom surprised ; or if in part, the whole object is the killing a warrior or two, aiid the carrying off women and children ; an incumbrance more than a spoil. Gazette Publications. 97 There are those who advocate what is called a de- fensive war, by posts on the frontiers, and ranging companies. I say the best defence is offence. In- stead of warding off blows, give one. If you could surround the frontier with a rank and file of men, like the wall of China, and take care that these should never sleep, you might expect something. — But posts and ranging companies are but a help and no effectu* al defence. It is but hatching beasts of prey, who come against our folds, instead of penetrating the forests where they haunt, and extirpating the race. With respect to the mobile of war, I am confident \lie establishing ourselves in the face of Canada, will done be effectual ; but, with respect to the route, "^vould suggest, whether by the way of lake Erie would not have been advisable : that is, by establishing a garrison at Presq'isle ; and building armed vessels oa the lakes, to transport troops and convey provisions ; again, a post on the west of the lake, and from thence the progress to the Miami towns. At least, whether as things now stand that route ought not to be em- braced. I have not the smallest doubt, but that un- less effective arrangements are made for the ensuing summer, and that in the face of the Six Nations, and so as speedily to strike them, they will avow them- selves ; for, I aver, that except a few chiefs, they are in disposition hostile, and nothing but the principle of fear restrains them this moment. A garrison at Presq'isle would secure their neutra* lity, or engage them to act in our favour. It is thrown out by the paragraphists, few of whom I take to be out of this city, that the possession and se- curity of the western territory ought not to be an ob- ject with these states ; nve have^ it seems, soil enough. Be it so — I enquire only what are the best means of protecting the settlements on tliis side of the rivers ? I say, the only means is by reaching the source of hostility^ and taking tl^ commanding ground of posts Va the westward. 1 96 Gazette Publications. But is the government not bound to give peaceable possession of the western soil to those to whom they have sold, and to their officers and soldiers ^o whom they have made grants ? Shall every thing be done to support credit in making a liberal provision for the public debt ; even though this has brought a great evil, fortunes rising like exhalations from the earth, by other means than common industry ; and shall the publick disregard their faith pledged in the cases above mentioned ? All who wish the preservation of our confederacy ought to feel an alarm at all ideas of de- reliction of the claims and rights of any part of the comLmuiiity. The consequences may be fatal to all who have an^y hopes from government, or any inte- j-est in it. It inay be said, that taking the way of the lakes, building armed vessels, and occupying post^ in the neighbourhood of Niagara and Detroit, may involve us in a war yriih. Britain. Of that there is no danger. If our mefchantmen ere in the power of the British navy, theirs are in the power of our privateers ; and they get more by our imports from them in peace, than by the captures they could make in war ; and the province of Canada and the fur trade of the v/est, is a stake wliich they have to lose. If the world has been astonished at our rising, if they have seen the meridian beams of our splendour in establishing publick credit, let them not regret our meannes and want of spirit in suffering the out-guards of our country, the frontier settlements, to be cut to pieces by the axe of tlie savage, when tlie probability is, I think, certainly, that it is put into their hands by our late inveterate, but, discomfited enemy. I beg the publick to excuse these things, written hastily, and let them have their weight with every humane and good man, which the reason of them inay support. I say, humane ; because I am per- suaded humaiuty is not on the side of >the s^vage^, Gazette Publications, 90 ^t -on our side. They have been the aggressors. They are not to be appeased. They refuse all treaty, or respect none. They cannot, for it is not the will of those by whom they are impelled. I can excuse those, who, from moiives of humani- ty, call in question ihe justness of our cause in the war against the Indians. But could I make my ob- servations their's with respect to 'lie ruthful disposi- tion of a savage, that is not soothed continually by good offices, or kept down by fear ; could I give my knowledge recollection, and impression of tl)e accu- mulated instances of homicide committed by the tribes with whom we are at war, the humane would be more humane, for their feelings would be more awake, no€ in favour of these people, but of the persons butcher- ed by them in cold blood, or dragged to that pole seen by the soldiers under General Harmar, by the Miar mi village, where the ground wa* beat^ like a pave- ment by the miserable victims moving round the stake fO avoid tiie still pursuing tortures, which the circle of black coals, at a distance from the piles burned, shewed whence they brought their brands or heated gun barrels to afilict the object. All this, though there have been but three instances since the conclusion of the war with Britain, where an Indian has been hurt on our part ; one on the Susquehanna, and two on the Ohio ; and with respect to one of which instances, that of M'Guire and Brady, it is a doubt whether they were hostile or peaceable. I consider men who are unacquainted with the sa- vages, like young women who have read romances, and have as improper an idea of the Indian character in the one case, as the female mind has of real life in the other. The philosopher, weary of the vices of refined life, thinks to find perfect virtue in the sim- plicity of the unimproved state. He sees green fields and meadows in the customs and virtues of the sava- ges. It is_£xperieDce only can relieve from this ca- lenture of the mtellect. All that is good and great 100 Gazette Publications. in mail, results from education ; an uncivilized In- dian is but a little way removed from a beast- who, when incensed, cam only tear and devour, but the sa- vage applies the ingenuity of man to torture and in- flict anguish. Some years ago, two French gentlemen, a bota- nist and a mineralist, the botanist a very learned manj and truly a philosopher — but his brain turned with Jean Jacques Rousseau's, and other rhapsodies — the man of nature was his darling favourite. He had the Indians with him at his chamber every day. — Fitting out a small boat on the Ohio, with only two otlieF persons, and without arms, he descended. It was in vain to explain tlie danger, and dissuade him. He was conscious to himself of loving Indians, and doubt- less they could wish him no harm. But approaching the Scioto river, a party came out in a canoe, as he thought, to pay their respects to him ; but the first circumstance of ceremony when they came on boards was to impress the tomahack and take off the scalp of the philosopher: I knov/ a little of the mystery of agent-craft, and the mummery of Indian speechifying. An Indian chief in the hands of a good interpreter and agent, is a • more profitable property, than a tame bear or a lion presented for a show. I have seen Indian princes in- Pittsburgh, as plenty as in the time of Adonibezek, who had three score and ten kings under his table. Many a chief I have seen driven out of a kitchen by a maid with a broomstick, lest he should steal a tin cup or a table spoon. I have seen a certain blind Sam^ so called, because blind of an eye, taken down to this city, passed for a warrior, dining with clubs, and have ■ heard of him presented at a ball, on his way down ;* the favoured ladies looking upon themselves as, bea-, tified in receiving the salute of a kuig. When he returned v/ith a laced waistcoat, the vulgar Indians, that before thought him one of them, laughed immo-, derately at the farce. ■^■ Gazette Publications. 101 The business with the Indians is war and reduc- tion, and after that, away with the system of agents and interpreters, and leading Indians doM^n to your capitals like pet beasts. Let them stay in their woods and negotiate an equal trade. This trade may cer- tainly be a great object. When -the line of savages that ai'c at present hostile, is removed, and our way is open to 'peaceable and remote nations. I have con- versed with those, who in behalf of trading compa- nies, had been four years on discovery for the purpon ses of trade, had penetrated many thousand miles, traversed tlte country beyond the source of the Mis- souri, but were dedicate in their communications of the route and advantages of trade with the myriads of the natives in those woods : they, however, gaA'e me to imderstand, that most of the trading companies of Britain v/ere turning their attention to it. Of the vast nations of Indians that were ready to trade with us, were the Miami and Wabush Indians pe?xeable, there is no conception. It v.iil cost but one effective armament to accomplish this object, and why employ years in doing that v/hich may be done at once ; No longer any starved campaign ? As these are desultory observations, I remark and ronclude that some may think me rash in presuming that the king af Britain has given cou.ntcnance to the Indian rlepredations or armaments. I should be sorry to do injustice ; and it was with great difficulty that I admitted the idea, but I have been convinced of it, and can have no doubt, because that government could not but have heard of the hostilities, tnd by one single word of the commandant of Detroit, we should iiave had a perfect peace. Is it possible that an island where a Mtlton and a Hume have lived, wdiere a Howard has sacrificed to humanity — ^there can be those who can aid, at least not disarm, what may be in their power, the savage of his axe, batterctl on the sculls of their species, in the cottage or the field of the settlonents adjoining their province — ^they could do I 2 102 Gazette Publicatmis, lais by the surrender of the posts, for at that momen^ I proclaim peace to the westward, aiid ensure safety. It may be thought that I am inhumane in my sen- timents with respect to the savages : it is a mistake ; I am inhumane to no man or men ; but in order to be humane, let me have it in my power. Let myself first be safe, and then I can shew what humanity dic- tates. The question is, whether we shall submit oui'selves to the savages, or they to us ? I say, let us. conquer because we cannot depend upon them, for the weaker ever distrusts the mightier, and the unen* lightened man, the sensible ; but when we shall have it in our power, let us dispense treaties upon princi- ples of reciprocity (to use the terms of the diploma- tists) and let them know that we are not about ta purchase a treaty, but to make one and preserve it. ON THE INDIAN BIGHT OF SOIL, ON what Is it founded ? Having had a foot first on the continent ? Then one Indian might claim the whole : spend his winter in the torrid zone — his sum- mer in one or other of the frigid, and spring and fall in the temperate. That would be unreasonable. Will two Indians have this right ? - There must be more than that. Two tribes ? It would be too much to take up the whole continent with two tribesi. How many must there be to give the right ? Just as many as there are. If there was one less, would they have the right ? Yes. Two less ? Yes. How many might there be less, and the right exist ? I cannot tell' — nor no one else. There must be some fixed principles on wliichall right depends. Under the Gazette Pziblicatiojis, 103 great law of nature, it is a right to as much as is ne- cessary for our subsistence. By pasturage or lumt- ing ? No ; by agriculture. Because in this Avay of life most can subsist at the same time. But men by the municipal laws of society hold more than an equal quantity. What has this to do with the great out-wheel of natural law, which gives the earth to man in common. The municipal Jaw i.inds as citizens ; the law of nations as societies ; but the law of nature as men. Say, as the number of inhabitants upon the earth is to its extent, so the lip-ht of each individual to his share. God gives a man no more when he dies than space to lie down upon, and how, more in life than to enjoy reasonably ? Let the appeal be made to him. Great spirit ; says the Indian, here is a v/hite man that wants some of my land. How much have you? Ten miles square. The tenth of that may serve. To hunt upon ? No ? but to plant corn, raise hogs, and live like a man. But did not you give me all this ? I have given none of you more than another. There^is the eailh, and the dividing of a sea or a river makes no pnrtition. It is true, I do not permit the inhabitants of Jupiter or other planets to come down to your earth ; but have placed a law of nature to hinder it ? but on the same planet, I know nothing of what is called the right of the na- tives, beyond at most a right of preference to chuse their ground, or to hold that which they already cul- tivate. Will the United States permit emigrants to settle on the lands wxst of the Ohio mthin th6 boundaries ? Not without purchasing. W^hy ? Because they have been at expence in combating the false claim of the savages, and ought to be paid for it. March 6, 1792. 104 ■ Gazette Publicaitom. THOUGHTS on INDIAjY TREATIES. SAY of these treaties what the use ; For who knows if thou know'st not, muse ? Can chief that comes to treat restrain, The vulgar savage in his den ? About as much as can a fox, Restrain his young ones from the ducks^ Or goose, or goslmg that is fed, In some man's stack-yard or a shed : Nay, will thechief himself hold fast, The chain of treaty v>^hich is past, When covering's wanted for his bum, And wishes to have some more rum ? No faith ; for scarce the treaty made^ And the word brother out of 's head, Before he thinks of w?.r again, By which gets blankets without pain. At treaty that succeeds to this. Nay, even thinks it not amiss, Just on his way towanis his counti'y, To take a scalp upon the frontier ; As lovers that are debonnair, At parting take a lock of hair For memorandum of the love They have to mistress in tiie gi ov-. Gazette Publications, 105 As well the cow that licks the salt, May be amended of her faiilt In coming to the house of swain, And licking once not lick again. And yet these treaties that occur, With savage and cormmissioner, Do swallow more than would defray, A veteran army on its way, To drive them from the infested borders, And put a period to their murders, Exterminating race at once. For their own happiness and man's. But if a treaty must take place. In God's name let the savages On equal terms, and not at odds *Treat ; but bring fur as we do goods, And carry each a pedlar's pack. Of peltry on his sachem's back, To cure the loss of scalp we suffer. In war they have made over and over. For it is retjuisite that hide. When lost should be by that supplied y And that a racoon or an otter. At least, should pay for son or daughter. And not as now when they have cut. At unawares a neighbour' throat. Yet wash their own dov.'n with our rum. And give them breech clouts when they come To make them wish to have some more. If I am not a son of a whore^ 106 Gatette Ptiblicattons. Were it with me to manage tKesc; Instead of ever making peace, Would kill them every mother's son Because the work is then well done And there's an end of blood and burning, And parents for their offspring mournings The devils gone where they should dwell, In sonte very hottest place of hell. Let any man suppose himself, To be so miserable an elf, As to be ty'd up to a pole, And by a wood pile cheek by jowl And roasted there like ven'son haunchei&, While they continue warlike dances, And say if then he talks of peace, And making brotherhood with these I Tet some that are philosophers, Though but as ignorant as bears, Will talk like girls that read romances-^ The nonsense that affects their fancies, About the goodness of a savage, And how 'tis us excite to ravage. No doubt, some truth may be in this, But that with me not justifies. The torturing a prisoner Especially as the case is here, Videlicit, wrongs may be done In mutual larcencies carried on» But more the savage is disposed. Because he is not cloth'd or hous'd^ Gazette Publications, 107 And lives in laziness like a dog, Hence prompted most to come incog, And take the property not his. But eastern block-heads know not this And talk of simple human nature, And think a savage a good creature. G-d d**n them if I had them here. To strip their sides and buttoclis bare, And give them but a touch of the fire, On which our people do expire, Ah I then would hear no more of goodness, But w^ould consider it as rudeness. At least to them who are great people, To whom behoov'd to be more civil, The warrior in his scarification. Or gauntlet running fla^gellation j The truth is, treaties ai'*e in vain, And only fear that can iTstrain, Which must exist in power have felt, And not the nonsense of a belt ; Or burying hatchet, or the like, Enough to make a dog sick. And for this reason wish that cocks, That are at helm and General Knox Would only stick to war ; at least. Until they're properly repressed. And if they will treat, why then treat But give them neither strouds nor meat But leave to live as they do us, Kor dare again tp be our foes. 108 Gazette Publications, On his excellency Anthony Wayne, command- er IN chief of the Federal Army, avho died AT Presq*isle, Dec. 14, 1796, on hi 3 return TROM his campaign AGAINST THE InDIANS. — The birth of some great riien, or deatli, Gives a celebrity to spots of earth ; We say that Montcalm fell on Abram's Piam; That Butler presses the Miami bank ; And that the promontory of Sigeum Has AcHiLLEs's tomb- Presqu'isle saw Wayne expire. The traveller shall see his monument : At least his grave. For this, Corroding jealousy will not detract ; But will allow a mound Some little swelling of the eaith, To mark the interment of his bones. Brave honest soldier sleep And let tlie dews weep over thee, And gales that sigh across the Lake ; Till men shall recognize thy Morth, And coming to the place, shall ask, '• Is tliis where Wayne is buried ?" Gazette Pnuiicationi;. 109 " ALL the v/orld's a stage. And all the raen and women merely players :'* Every one is disposed not only to choose his o^vn part, but to assign to others, what part they shall act. It was, perhaps, in this spirit of being the manager of the drama^ that the following was written, hi opposi- tion to the pretensions of one, who was a Candidate for the Congress of the United States. ^.Y ADDRESS, In Opposition to the Electiox of PREVIOUS to the late election for a Senator for this district, I had thoughts of offering mysif ; but I had found an opposition springing up, and especial- ly from a professional character, who had an eye to that place himself. I vras far from being sanguine that either he or I could be elected, from the preju- dice, however unreasonable, that exists, against the profession of the law ; but declining all pretensions on my part, I gave way and he succeeded. What must be my surprise then to hear that this gentleman talks of abandoning his trust, at the expiration of cue fourth of the time, for which he was elected. It will be said that he has done one year's work, and let an- other person go and do more. But he undertook a job of four ye^rs, and let him go through with it. It is not every day that we can get a Lawyer elected, and it is betraying the interests of the profession, and .te. It drew him into an interference Gazette Publications, 113 to support the nomination, and it became necessary for me in order to support what had been done, to at* tack the President himseh'', or rather his influence. The following is what appeared on that occasion. WHEN I took the field against , I had no idea that judge ■ was at the bottom of his ilomination ; or at least would be willing to come forward and act the part of Master of Ceremonies in obtruding his name upon the publick. Whatever may be the right of a branch of the judiciary, to inter- fere in the elections of the legislature, there is cer- tainly a prudence which it might be well to observe, not to descend upon the sand as a Gladiator lest it disturb his equanimity, when he comes upon the bench, and detract from the impression of his senti- ments delivered in his official capacity. When a man occupies a certain sphere of power, and a Dis- trict President occupies an extensive one, the pub- lick mind is jealous of his assuming, indirectly, con- troul over their judgments and opinions ; and if his conduct favours the surmise by going round the cir- cuit making members of Congress, and assembly, a>'> St. Paul did the towns of Asia, Lystra, Derby, and Iconium, ordaining elders antl episcopates, the minds of men revolt, and the evil follows that even the good he would do, is opposed and reputed mischief. But it may be said that the commonv/ealth labours, and the importance of the crisis is such, as to justify the judge on all grounds of prudence and necessity, in coming forward to lend a hand at the helm and steer the ship from the breakers : All are not con- vinced of this, and the question will be asked, whether we are in such a situation yet, that we cannot ride cut the storm, ev^ though the Judge be silent, and - K 2 114 Gazette Puhllcatwns. ~— ~, remain but a commo?; than ? Duriiig the revo* tionary war we made shift to do without them, and perhaps Ave might still. The Judp^e, I presume, was scarcely tall enough to be a drummer, and the Gene- ral Wcis in his nurse's arms. Biit, if it was necessary that the Judge should come forward might it not have been with more delicacy of I?.nguage and manners ? If the publick had nothing to do with my " intrigues, quarrels or oblinnities, why alledge s\ich, but confine himself to a considera- tion of the qualifications, and probable success of the respective candidates. Was he under no apprehensi- on that he might be taken for an Enrage*, and a Sarjs Culotte. But is it not enough to make a man bestow epithets to hear that a person should oppose — — merely because he dislikes him. In common circumstances, it would seem to be a pretty good reason, but not where a Judge is concerned. The Judge limself is above all things of this nature ; he is not susceptible of passion. No medium can discolour objects to his vision. He could easily excuse a person that would support his adversary ; nay, bear abuse from that person, for op- posing him, or even for not joining to support him. But I am but a common man ; I feel the impulse of passion ; yet I expect no man to justify, much less serve my passions ; I ask Iiim only to excuse them j and self-preservation dictates and might form an apo- logy for my counteracting even by intrigue, if they will have it so, the wishes even of my friends, to ele- vate a man to a respectable appointment, which must increase his consequence, and contribute to inflame his pride, and dispose him to ride rough shod over the insigniflcrint. I should think it could not be a sin to stmggle a little under the hoofs of the pair in his Pheaton ; nay, would it not be cruel in him who knows that there is truth in this, to ADD HIS OWN weiglit upon the vv^heels, whether in the character of DRIVER or POSTILLION; and insult me who am en- Gazette Puhiicatlons, 115 deavoiing to support myself against the tyrant? But it is not merely the preservation of himself the charioteer that I have in view. He must rise from the Senate to the Congress ; from the Congress to the God knov/3 what. His brain must be turned ; is it reasonable to let him take this course ? But his honour has said, that has been nominated and he must be our representative. Has the Judge the righi to make this fiat ? Not, de jure, but be facto : and v.'hat matters it whether legally or usurped, provided * e has it. All must bfe put under the ban of his opi- nion that oppose it. When we have banished the terms, Liberty and equality, why should the thing exist. Let the name and the nature of a jacobin be extinct. But why had we not notice of this mandate, arret, and new order of things in the country ? Could there not have been a scrap of a Proclamation to this effect, " That whereas our trusty and well beloved cousin has been thought qualified to represent this part of our circuit in the Congress of the United States, it is hereby made kno'^^Ti, and caused to be understood, that no other name be introduced under pain of our displeasure. Done at our Directory at , this Sec. &c. Such a publicity might have reconciled all parties and have saved trouble. 116 Gazette Publications. Mr. Scuxl, THE age of Chivalry is not over ; and challenges have been given even in the midst of a yellow fever, which, one would think, was killing people fast e- nough already. They^-ar of God or the laiv^ are usu- al and just grounds of refusing : But I will give you a sample of the way in which I get off with some of my challenges, in the following letter and answer on a late occasion ; but omitting the name of the chal- lenger, as I have no inclination to trouble him with a prosecution. Sir, I WILL thank yoti to take a walk with a friend and meet me at the back of the grave yard about sun- rise to-morrow mornings— After what has happened, you know what I mean. Your humble servant^ tfc. October 15, 1797. Sir, I KNOW what you mean very well ; you want to have a shot at ma, but I have no inclination to hit you, and I am afraid you would liit me j I pray thee there- fore have me excused. Gazette Publications. 11' s E R M o a; ON THE DUEL. And the king lamented over Abner, and said*, "Died Abner as a fool dieth^" 2 Sam. iii. lo. IT was not in a duel that Abner fell ; but the, words may be applied to those that fall in this way. They die certainly as a fool dieth ; that is, without necessity, or a sufficient reason to justify the voluntary risk. This evil, like the venereal complaint, or the small pox, was unknown to the ancients. It is the off- spring of modern barbarism, and in vain have the sage, the politician, or the divine, endeavoured to extirpate it. I have traced the evil with minute in- vestigation, in order to determine the principle on which it rests, and I find it to be that which is least supposed, a want of fortitude. This indeed has been generally conceded by wise men. We are told, and with great truth, that it re- quires more spirit to sustain the shock of prevailing opinion, than to risk life itself. There is not one in five hundred that is capable of it. It requires a soul illumined by reason, firm in itself, and balanced on the centre of his own judgment. Again, it is the fear of being brought to this kind of combat, that induces many to affect to approve of it. They well know that should it be supposed they will decline it, who wishes to establish what he calls a character, will call upon them to it. A combat of this kind is wholly unreasonable, be- cause it is unequal. Shall a man of six feet present 118 Gazette Fiilllcations, himself for a mark to a dwarf of five ? or a man of a square body, to a thing that would almost cut the bail which it takes ? It places the fool and the wise man on the sanx; ground \ the fool who robs himself and* the world of a piece of earth 6nly ; the wise man who subtracts the light of thouf»ht and the intelligence of mind. It is unequal because character may be bor- roAved on the one side, wlule the other does not wish to spare. I have known a person wish to bring me to this kind of combat, merely to have his name matched with mine ; and I have lied from the asso- ciation, with more dread of it than of all other eviis. On the principle of cowardice, or passion, a man i maybe somewhat excusable, who submits to this evil ; but what shall we say of those who under no impulse of this nature, act as seconds. His courage is not impeached who declines it ; he is under the infiuence of nc passion ; and yet without such a per- son, it is not probable a duel would be fought. It strikes me with horror that human nature could de- generate so far, taut, in any instance a person could be found to undcitcike such an office. That instead of the noble duty of reconciling men, and promx)ting peace, and saving life, and preventing wound, there^ could be found those who would coolly assist to bring about the contcstj and stand by and see the issue, pro- bably iT-ortal to one, or to both. It we had not such among ourselves, and were told that they existed in some other planet, we should set that down to be hell, and the inliuLiicnts devils. I am confident that no man ever rendered himself agreeable to r.nother, by being a second for him. It might pass for tiie moment ; but he must look back upon it tts an act of enxiiity, not of good will. It bor- ders on the o.Tice, but is much more odious, than that ofahano-man; for the one helps away the culpritj with whom he has probably no acquaintance, and for whom he professes no esteem ; who is convicted of soixic ofltneej aiid sentenced by the law of the Gazette Publications, 119 Jand ; the other, the very man who puts confidence in him, or the person with Vv horn tliis friend of his has some occasional or unfortunate difference. What shall we think of those who by countenance, language or act, prompt the duel ; who take upon them to censure the conduct of others ; who when injured have not thought proper to toke revenge in this way, or to carry it to this extreme ? Doubtless we ought to look upon them as murderers in heart. Such behaviour and sentiment has its foundation in meanness and malevolence ; envy of another, and a wish to take him out of the way ; or hatred, which leads to delignt, m the misery of the species. What ? when a man is sufficiently disposed by Ids own feel- ings to resentment, which he ought as much as pos- sible to moderate or suppress ; otherwise will frown upon him as doing wrong ; when he does not do a still greater wrong. By this means they make it necessary for him to act the part of the fool, or the m^ adman. Make it necessary ? Why is it that men of sense do not unite, and stand by each other in this case. They might form a phalanx against the bri- gade of fools ; but they basely desert their colours, give up their opinion, and like slaves in the hall of a despot dare not speak their minds. Surely a man dies the death of a fool who falls in this way : will those who prompted him, to incur the risk, shed a tear at his death ? Will they contribute a unite to assist his widow or his orphans, or mix their griefs to console his relations ? They will rather rejoice, and the very novelty of the incident will be more pleasing to them than the revivisscence of the deceased, were it possible. Shall a man then suc- cumb to this false sentiment, for the sake of those who care nothing about him, or ratiier triumph in his fall. ■ The question is, v/hat will you do with a man who invites you to this kind of combat ? Humour and play with him as a bear, or otiier beast, until you have got 120 Gazette Pubrications, quit of him. What with a man who insults. you with his language ? Make your strictures with equal free- dom upon him. What shall be done with one who abuses you personally, and whose sti^ngth is superi- or ? Add the assistance of art, and aid yourself with a club or a cutlass. If in all these you fail, there is the law at hand. If those who administer it, are so unfaithful to their trust, as not to do you adequate justice, by the severity of the penalty, set it down as one of those imperfections in the affairs of men which cannot be avoided. Is this theory, only ? Did not the Romans and the Greeks, the Jews, the Assyrians, and all the ancients act on this principle ? But though of recent date, this evil has sprung up, yet the labour of sages and philosophers against it has been tried, in vain. Let us make our last appeal ta the fair sex : The beauty of nature and the solace of human life.' Do you think that the persons of this description are the most likely to protect you ? You will find a more determined, faithful and successful support from those who have the nobleness of mind to be above it. What an honour it would be to you» sex to lend the invincible force of your charms to ex-; tirpate this vice, by the force of your opinion. You would secure the esteem of those who are more ca- pable of knowing your merit, than all the fools of the world put together. I do not mean to insult the memory of any one who fulls in this way ; David did not mean to insult the memory of Abner, whom he greatly respected, when he uses the words of the text. A. particular act may be branded as folly independent of the persons and the general charxicter tjiey deserve. ^ 'Gazette Puhllcatiom. 121 ORATION, THE CELEBRATION OF THE AxXIVERSARY Of Independence, July 4th, 1793. THE celebration of the day, introduces the idea • t>f the principle that gave it birth : The wisdom of Ihe king of Great-Britain who saAv the growing great- ness of the provinces, that they were now of age to act for themselves, and bade them be independent--? No — The wisdom of the parliament of Great-Britain, -that seeing the inconvenience or impossibility of our -being represented in the legislature, and sensible of , the unreasonableness of being bound by laws without ! Toeing represented, saw the expediency of a separation i from them, and said to us, be independent and be- I come an allied power? No — Nothing of all this. The I king and parliament of Great-Britain, were of opi- j nion that without representation, we were bound by I their laws, and though descendants of their isle, had no right to freedom in a great forest. I Whence then our independence ? It was the off- spring of the understanding and the virtue of the peo- ple of America themselves. The eloquent advisecf, the brave fought; and we succeeded. The day on "Which we assumed our rights became a festival ; and •every future year shall remember it. " The celebration of the day introduces the idea of the effect of it beyond the sphere of these states. The light kindled here has been reflected to Britain, and a reform in the representation of the commons is ex- pected. The light kindled here has been reflected to France, and a new order of things has arisen, L 122 Gazette FulUcations, Shall we blame the intemperaUire of the exertions ? ' Was there ever enthusiasm v/ithout intemperance ? * and was there ever a §reat effect v. ithout enthusiasm?-'* Thy principles, O ! Liberty, are not violent or cruel ; but in the desperation of thy efforts against tyranny, it is not always possible to keep within the limit of the vengeance nescessary to defence. Do we accuse the air, or, the bastile of the mountain, when the rock is burst, and the town en^ulphed ? The air of itself is mild, and scarcely wafts a feather from its place. But restrained and imprisoned, the yielding and placid element becomes indignant, and tears the globe before it. Do we accuse the hurricane, when the mariner is tossed with the tempest, and is an in- cidental sufferer in the storm ? The naturalist does not. He tells you that the equilibrium of the atmos- phere has been disturbed, and if man has suffered more than the demerit of his transgressions, it is in a struggle of nature to restore itself. Is it the duty of these states to assist France ? That we are bound by treaty, and how far, I will not say ; because it is not necessary. We are bound by a high- er principle, if our assistance could avail ; the great law of humanity. We might, it is true, alledge the stipulations of 9, ti'eaty, 2^x16. ihzguciraJitee of her /iossessio?is to France. But as the world would know, and v,'e ought to avow it, that it is the cause of republicanism which would induce our efforts. The tyrant of Great-Britain ai* iedged the stipulations of a treaty relative to the openr ing of the Scheldt, and waited fur no requisition on the part of Holland to observe the guarantee. But all the world knew, and he might have a\owed it, that it was not the opening of the Scheldt, but the attack up» on monarchy that prompted his interposition. Shall kings combine, and shall republics not unite ? Wc have united. The heart of America feels the caus» of France ; she takes a part in all her councils j api? Gazette Publkattoiis. 11 .j proves her wisdom ; blames her e:;cesses ; she is moved, impelled, elevated and depressed, -with all the changes of her good and bad fortune ; she feels the same fury in her veins : she is tossed and shaken with all the variety of hopes and fears, attending her situation : Why not ? Can \t'e be indifferent ? Is not our fate interlaced with hers ? For, O ! France, if thy republic "perish, where is the honour due to ours ? From whom respect to our fiag upon the seas ? Not from France restored to a njcnarch, and indignant at those very feelings which are now our glory : Not from the despots that are against her ; these will ea- sily recollect that the cause of their evils took their ^ rise here. '"• Can we assist France by arming in her favour ? I vfiil not say that we can.. But could we, and ehould" ' France say, United States, your neutrality is not suf- ficient ; i expect the junction of your arms with mine ; your heroes on the soil, and your privateers, on the ocean, to distress tlie foe ; v.ho is there would not say, it shall be so; you shall have them ; our ci- tizens shall arm ; they shall attack ; our oaks shall descend from the mountains ; our vessels be launched upon the stream, and the voice of our war, how ever Weak, shall be heard with yours. If we ourselves should judge that our arms could assist France, even though the generous republic re- quired it not, yet who would hesitate to interfere, not only at the risk of property ; but of life itself? Is it illu- sion, or do I hear France say ; My daughter Ameri- ;: ca ; I know the dutifulness of thy heart tow^ards me ; and that thou art disposed to shew it by taking part ' in this war. But I wish thee not to provoke hostilities for my sake. If I perish, I perish ; but let not a mother draw in a hapless child to suffer with herself. Is it illusion ; or do I hear America, reply ? I do, and it is in the language of the Moabitish Ruth, to her mother-in-law, tlie JeAvish Naomi. '* Increat u'.e 124 Gazette Publications, aot to leave thee, or return from following thee ; fc;? whither thou goest, I will go ; and where thou lodg- est, I will lodge ; thy people shall be my people,.and thy God, my God ; where thou diest, I will die ; and there will I be buried. God do so to me, and more al- so, if ought but death shall part thee and me." But whether we assist or not ; thy cause, O ! France, will be triumphant. Did the enthusiasm of a small Roman people, repel their invaders, until Rome be- came the protectress of nations ? Did the enthusiasm of a few Greeks, repel the millions of Asia, and af- terwards overrun her kingdoms ? Did the enthusiasm of the Saracens in a few years spread to Spain on the one hand, and the Indus on the other ? Did the en-r thusiasm, of a few mad Crusaders^ burst upon the •Saracen, and establish the kingdom of Jerusalem ia the center of his empire ? And shall the enthusiasm of a brave people more numerous than the early Ro- man republic ; the Greeks under Alexander, the Sa- racens of Arabia, or the Crusaders of Europe, be subdued by all that are against them ? The weight "will but condense resistance, and as the materials of explosion in the ordnance acquire a spring by con- finement, so in proportion to the attack of this people^ will their voice be terrible, their blow irresistable. France will be independent also, and celebrate her anniversaries ; and in doing so will recollect that oui^ independence had preceded hers and made the exam- ple. The aniiiversary of the independence of Ame- rica will be a great epocha of liberty throughout the. world. Proceed we then to celsbrate the day ; ad- vance to the festive board ; pour out libations to sen- timents of liberty, and let the loud mouliied artillery- be lieard on the hill. Gazette Publications. 125 Delivered to the American ari.iy in the ca- pacity OF Chaplin, a few days before the BATTLE OF BuANDYWINE, AND AFTERAVARDS PUBLISHED IN THE GAZETTES OF THAT PERIOD. ".YOAH J PREACHER OF EIGHT'EOUSNES. AS a hill at a distance, or an old castle wrapt iiv fc£^, it is venerably pleasing to travel up through antiquity, and to call to mind the memory of great and good men, who have lived before us. At the ame time it is useful ; as, the part which they sustain- ed on the stage of life, and tlie character which they left behind them, may serve to excite our emulation to attain to the same rerneml^rance. With this view, suffer me to take back your attention to the age of the venerable Noah, while with me you consider, i. The state of the world in his time. 2. His character, A preacher. 3. His doctrine, BigJiteousncss. 4. Apply the subject. I. The state of the world in his Unic. I do not mean to consider the state of socic^ty, or the political e&tabiishments at this early period. 1 do not know •-, hat may have been the population of the v.orld, or lie progress of the human mind in the knov.iedge of urts, government, or science. It is possible, that in the course of more than lifte^'n hundrtd vears, the L 2 126 Gazette Puhi icauonS. space of time elapsed from the creation to the deluge, the earth may have been pretty generally inhabited It is possible the arts and sciences might have been carried to a very great perfection. It is possible that great states may have flourished, equal in policy and commerce to any on the earth at present. Tliese things are possible, and a great deal might be said to illustrate the possibility. It may be said, that from the great age of man at this early period, drawn out to the length of eight or nine hundred years, and permitting him to see, perhaps, the thirtieth gene- ration of his own offspring, and to cultivate his mind to a great maturity, it is not only possible, but pro- bable, that the earth may have been stocked with in- habitants, and the arts and sciences carried to a great perfection. It is certain from the sacred history, that amongst the antediluvians, several useful and orna- mental arts were cultrv^ated ; for we find mention"cf mechanics, and musicians, and orators, and poets. Jubal was an artificer in brass and iron j and Tubal, his kinsman and co temporary, was the father of all such as handle the harp, and organ. Men began to call, or to preach, or, if I understand the Hebrev/ word properly, to be eloquent in the name of the Lord. Enoch prophesied. Behold ! the Lord cometh with ten thousand of his saints ; that is, he foretold tlie general judgment, and, as the v/ord will bear to be interpret- ed, he sang of it in lofty and sublime language. It was in elevated strains of poetic harmony, that all prophecy among thfe Hebrews, and among the hea- thens was usually expressed. Hence the word Vates^ amongst the Latins, signifies either prophet or poet. The art^ of writing and engraving must have been, known amongst these people ; for it must have been from a manuscript preserved by Noah in the ark, and. banded down to the patriarchs, that the apostle Jude makes the above quotation of the prophecy of Enoch ; and, if we may believe Josephus, there were remain- Gazette Publications. 127 ing rn his time, pillars which had been engraved- upon by Seth, and thence called Seth's pillars. — Indeed, as to the general and extensive population of the earth, there can remain little doubt ; for there are evident traces of the human race in America, be- fore the deluge. I have been assured by a gentle- man of great veracity, that in digging ore for his fur- nace, he found human bones at the depth of thirty feet in the body of the south mountain. These bones must have been remains of some antediluvian on whom the mountain had been tumbled in the general disruption occasioned by the deluge. I might ascer- tain the great probability of this reasoning by bring- ing into view the population and refinements of the world, in the same space of time after the deluge, as before it. This will fall in about the age of Alexan- der ; at which time the great empires of Nebuchad- nezzar and of Cyrus had passed away ; the fleets of Solomon had visited the Indian ocean ; and the re- public of Carthage had sent out her ships to every shore of Africa. The Greek commonwealths, after many ages had declined from their fame in poetry and eloquence, and only Aristotle was left behind to preserve the uncontested palm of sublime philosophy.. The empire of Rome was rising in the west, about to send an army shortly to Britain, to combat with vt people who had been there long before them. We shall not be greatly mistaken in drawing a compari- son between the population of the world for the same space of time after the deluge, as before it ; for it is not disproportionate, if we place the advantage of a^ population from eiglit persons, the family of Noah, to the disadvantage of a life shorter by ten times its date. But I shall confine myself to consider the religious and moral state of the world, in the last centuries of this old and decayed period. This, we have reason. to believe, was by no means prosperous ; for we read 123 Gazette Publications. that the wickedness of man was great ; All fush had corrujited his way ufion the earth. Human nature lost its beauty and perfection in the melancholy lapse of our great progenitor ; and Cain, his first-born, soon gave an instance of tliat enmity and murder which the human heart is capable to entertain and perpe- trate. The family of Cain, early driven to the land of Nod, and deprived of the instruction of their father Adam, sunk down to the deepest ignorance, and, by the bad example of a parent, became immoral in their conduct. Not contented with the self-possession of their own wickednesses, they laboured to seduce the kindred family of Seth, which had been religiously educated, and retained some degrees of moral purity and virtue. They attempted it, by introducing to their tents, loose but fair women, with music and dancing. By this means they, in part, accomplished their purpose ; for many of the family of Seth, by an inter-marriage with the family of Cain, became in- fected with their manners. Milton has imagined the circumstance with great delicacy of description — They, on the plain, long had not walk'd, When from the tents, behold, a bevy of fair women Riclily gay, in gems and wanton dress ; to the har\ they sung Soft amorous ditties, and in dance came on. Prom this unhappy mixture, giants, it is said, were bom. Providence set a mark of infamy upon it, by causing the mishapen offspring to be of an unv/ieldiy and monstrous bulk of body ; hateful, and by theii great strength, hurtful to society. From this con- nection sprang also, mai, i-jho ivere of old^ men of re- 7iovjn. These were the Howes, and the Clintons, of that period. This is evident from that expression of scripture, The earth t^ar filed vyuh violence. Gazette Publications. 12\) It is reasonable to suppose, that it was against the luioffcnding of the line of Seth, that the first tyranny made its inroads. Many perished in opposing it; ma- ny a brave and patriotic Warren ; many an intrepid and virtuous Montgomery. Tyranny prevailed ; and in the age of Noah, every thing was overthrown that had been good and great upon the earth. II. Noah*s character, ^ /?rc£W/%cr. I shall not say that he was in orders regularly bred and appointed ; for I do not know that any line of education for the^ church was as yet regularly established. Be this as it may, his blameless life was a constant sermon to his neighbours. His admonitions ami instructions gave him a title to the character of preacher. Pie bore an open and an honest testimony against the manners of the age in which he lived. The moun- tain on which he built the ark, may have been his pulpit. Multitudes of persons, no doubt, had come to visit him upon this eminence. It was a new thing to build a vessel on the mountain top, and so distant from the waters. The opportunity of multitudes convened upon the mountain, he frequent- ly en^braced to call them ta repentance. III. His doctrine, Righteousness. The word ren- dered righteousness, has its origin from the word which signifies law. By law we are to understand the relation of man to the Deity, and the relation of man to his neighbour. Conformity of action to the first conceived line, is religion, and conformity of action to the second, is moral equity and justice. Both of these are included in the word righteousness. There is also implied in it, that which is the sanction of the law, rewards and punishments. It was this righteousness which Noah preached to the world. He explained the great duty of reverence to him from whom we haje our breath, and by whom. 130 Gazette PuhUcations. we are supported. He explained the natural rights of men in society, and levelled his arguments against the tyranny which some endeavoured to establish. He held up to viv^w the penalty of such injustice, and urged to their minds the immediate vengeance of the deluge, which was about to overtake them. On the mountain head, where he built the ark, \ye may con- ceive him to have spoken to the following purpose— '* Sons and daughters of the fallen and unhappy Adam, You are stnjck with surprise to 3ee me thus occupied on the mountain : you are not able to con^ ceive what I mean by thf&ark which you see a-build-- ing. — It is far from the ocean and the rivers ; and it is not in the usual course of nature, that the water should forsake its bed, and rise to this eminence. Ne^ vertheless the day is fast approaching when such shall be the great phenomenon of nature — not long hence you shall behold the ocean swell — That ocean to the south shall forsake its bed, and roll its billows to the summit of this mountain. The fountains of the ip-eat decfi shall be broken ufi : they shall burst from their confinement, and pour a deluge on the world. Tlie •Storms shall descend and mingle from above : The \vaters shall jirevoil iijion the em^th : Fifteen cubits ' higher than the summit of the highest mountain shall they rise : Jll fieah shall peHih ; Every thing- that hath in it the breath of life shall be destroyed. It is' therefore high time that you arouse yourselves, and break off every wicked course of action. You have seen (many of you) Methusaleh, and have heard of the piety of JEnoch : How far are you degenerated from the piety of such great originals ? I'or this is the wrath of God about to come upon you ; and ven- geance, speedy vengeance is threatened to the world. Repent, therefore, of your crimes, that when the mighty Judge shall overwhelm the world in the bu- rial place of waters, he may extend mercy to yoi • spirits." Gazette PiibUcatiom, 131 IV. I am, in the last place, to apply the subject. The state of the world, at least in this quarter of it, at \-the present time, is not much unlike the state of the •world at the time of Noah. The earth is Jilled with violence. Wicked men, if not the lineal descendants, yet in the spirit of the first-born Cain, have ravaged our globe. Brothers by language, by religion, by consanguinity, (many of them) have sheathed their swords in a brother's breast. The famine of the jail, the fever of the camp, the sicloiess of the hospitals, and the death-bed wounds of the soldier on the field oT battle, have wasted our country. In the mean time, the voice of many honest men, like the voice of Noah on the mountain, has been lifted up to dis- suade from the course of action so hostile to others, and so pernicious to themselves. The voice of a Burgh ; a Price, and a bishop of St. Asaph has been lifted up against the injustice of the claim of Britain, And the ruinous consequences of persisting in it. The voice of a noble and incorrupt minority of Lords and Commons, has been lifted up to reclaim (if possible) the steps of those in power in their wild career of unchecked and unlimited ambition. The voice of many wise men amongst the neighbouring nations on the continent of Europe, has been lifted up in ex- pressions of astonishment at the mad system that has been adopted by the infatuated ministry, against the rights of human nature. The voice of many thousand statesmen and patriots on the mountain tops, and the far bending shores of America, has been lifted up ; and it is the declaration that they will enjoy freedom, or die in their attempt to support it. It is the univer- sal sound of the mighty voice— Desist, O Britain, from the thought of subjugating men whose birth- . right is liberty ; and let not the sharp edge of tyran- ny be rendered still more sharp, that like a machine of swift wheels and edges, when the food which supplied it abroad, is exhausted, it may return ■132 Gazette Puhlieatiom. and grind upon thy own substance. It is thy glory. Britain ! to be free ; and it is even thy happiness that America be independent. Recal speedily thy ' troops from her long-coasted shores — Revoke thy bloody edicts, and give peace to a bleeding, but un- conquered, and still to be unconquered country. This is the voice of nations ; and my voice mixing with it, like a small current running to the ocean, would repeat the sound, and pronounce a Me^nen' to memori — ^to Britain. Even though hostile, yet 1 feel myself interested in her fate. I travel in ima- gination on the banks of the Cam, the Isis, and the Avon, where the fair form of a Shakespeare rises to my view. I am touched with the magic sound of a Milton's harp, and the lyre of a Gi^ay modulating soft music to my ravished ear. I lift my thought to the noble strain of Pope, and feel the entliusiasm of the bard rushing on my soul. I walk with her phi- losophers, — the Lockes, the Bacons, and the New- tons that she boasts. I mingle with her statesmen and patriots of every name — her Thomas Mores— her William Temples — her Hampdens — her Sidneys — her Raleighs — her Harringtons — her Russels, and all the illustrious throng that adorns her chronology in every age. I feel a m.omentary impulse of con- cern for a country that gave these noble spirits birth. I could wish that, bounded in her empire, she were immortal in her date. But the will of Heaven has determined otherwise, that she is infatuated in her ■covmsels. Her renown is declining from its summit: Her great names fade upon my sight ; Her virtue, her patriotism disappears : Her glory in commerce and in war is wholly gone. She is lost from the thin^ that are, and the cold shades of oblivion are gather- ing on her isle. Gazette Publications. 153 THE following jeu de' esprit was thrown out at the time of the depreciation of the paper money, and is inserted in this collection for the sake of the reply- to it, which was from the pen of William Livingston, governor of the Jersies. The representation avd remonstrance of hHARD Money ; Addressed to the people of America. THOSE among you who a?'e nici) of feeling, will easily conceive the emotions that must agitate the breast of one, who having been, for many years, I the medium of commerce, and the nerves of all af- fairs of government, am now, in great measure, thrust from my office, by an individual destitute of all intrinsic merit, and indebted for his temporary reputa- , tion to the whim and caprice of others. You will an- ticipate me, and I scarcely need to tell you, that I have in view, that paper-wasted, rag-born, kite-faced fellow, Continental Currency. I saw the airs which he gave himself at his first appearance, vapouring and affecting an importaiv:e, as if he had been equal to the solid coin. I did not wonder that he imposed himself upon the common people ; for with these, as with young women, a stranger is always a divine creature. They allow him every excellence they wish him to possess ; and men of reading and experience only, are able to conceive that first appearances are often times deceitful, and that all is not gold that glisters. M vl54 Gazette Publications. The opinion of him as a man of fortune was not of long continuance. I had the satisfaction very early to observe, that many shop-keepers began to ask two to one for any article on his credit. In this case it ^vas ridiculous enough to see him, like the frog in the fublcj endeavouring to stretch and distend Mm- self, to make up in bulk what he wanted in value of the firccious vietals. " Oh ! am -I not now as big as r.o English guinea, or a half-joe ? I ask your pardon, Sir, not quite so bulky. Now, am I not as big as a doubloon, or a louis d'or ? Not yet, in my humble apprehension. Oh ! now, am I not as big as a piece of hard money ? No truly, Sir, nor will you be^ if you stretch until you burst yourself. He may pretend the colds and heats, and the fa- tigues of campaigns, as ihe cause of that dropsy which he had contracted ; but I am well convinced that it was the frequency of his attempt to enlarge i himself, that increased the circle of liis belly, and left him to walk about the country with a paunch like a drum, or the cask of a v/ine-cellar merchant. It was my hope that this disorder would have brought him to his proper end, and have eased the earth of such enormity of carcase ; but, to my great surprise, he has been io tapped and physicked by a late resolve of Congress, diminishing his bulk, and reducing him to proper compass, that I begin to fear he may recover wonted strength, and survive to give jiie more trou- ble. I do not know what the Congress can see in him. It cannot be his great family that so highly recom- mends him to their notice ; for Me know that he is a fellow of obscure birth, the son of one I^amp-black, a worker at the press in a printing-office of this city. Yt5u may observe in his visage very plain traces of the ink-balls that hii father used to handle. It cannot be his vast erudition ; for, in every sense of the word, he is a very superficial fellow. lie has some Latia scraps and mottos, which he frequently throws out ia Gazette Publications. 135 the Tnanher of a pedant. Ycu cannot be in his com- pany two minutes before you hear abuncknce of th^ following sentences ; *Siistine vel abstine — p.ersevc- rando— concorcUa res parv« crescunt— exitus in dubio est — serenabit — majora minoribus consonant, &c. These and the like trite phrases, which I sup- pose are new to him, are all the little stock of read- ing that he is possessed of. I have met with com-* mon barbers that have had more knowledge of the classics. It cannot be his fine-breeding and polite ac- complishment of manners, that places him so high in the estimation of this body ; every eile may see that he is as aukward and as stiif as a piece of pasted pr'^ per. . How indeed should he be- otherwise ? He is not a man of any travelling, or acquaintance with the world. He has never set his foot off the continent. His whole progress is from Georgia to New-IIamp-' shire, progressive and retrograde Gontinualf;jj*. The Congress cannot greatly be pleased with him, en account of any regard he has paid to their determi- nations. It was early recommended by them to dis- continue horse-races, cock-fights, and such unlawful sports and pastimes ; and yet this fellow has been the cause of more irregularities of this kind, than any man I know of. There have been instances of many thou- sand dollars laying their wagers with each other, up- on common scrub-horses ; a conduct quite beneath the character of gentlemen. The Congress cannot found their approbation of him on any marks of piety and virtue ; for he is cer- tainly a fellow of a bad moral character. It is well known that he spends his tinie, almost constantly m ordinaries, and beer-houses, calling for bowl after bowl, and pledging his hat and wig for the reckoning. I am well informed thftt he is also a frequenter of the bawdy-houses : several thirty dollar bills have been seen going to a certain Charlotte^ a common prosti- U^te of this city. * Mottos of ihe fiaper bills. 136 Gazette Publications* The Congress cannot but have heard that he is very generally acciisedjiot only of amours with wo- men, but also of dishonesty in business. There are those who think him guilty of collusion with several in the diflPerent offices about the army,— sticking in their hands, and skulking, while it behoved him to have been upon the public service. If so, he deserves to have no quarter, but ought to be hanged like S/iangier, who was executed last summer, for having been assisting in burning the wounded men in the buckv/heat straw, at a place called the Billet. He values himself upon his whiggism ; but is it not a fact, that he has been several times within the British lines ? and whether to gain intelligence or to communicate it, may be matter of enquiry. I do not like his sitting for his picture*, and leaving many of these among the enemy ; so that spread about the country by tories, many honest m.en have taken them for the real currency, and paid the same attention to an image, which they had intended for a servant of the public. It is probable he had a mind to try how far his popularity would carry him, in trampling on the common sense of mankind ; for if the general adulation should continue even to his shadow, he might do any thing. It was in this insulting spirit, that Caligula the tyrant desired to have his horse en- rolled amongst the senators ; and with the same con- tumely that Charles of Sweden writ home from Tur- key to the council of his kingdom, that he was about to se77d his boot to rule them. Vanity, I know, is disagreeable, and it is with re- luctance that I introduce myself on this occasion ; nevertheless I cannot help observing, that I feel it very mortifying to be ranked with this fellow. My birth, in all respects, is honourable. I am descend- ed of the sun-beams ; I am related to the family of the pearls and diamonds ; I am refined by proper * Counterfeits, Gazette Publications* 137 rourse of education ; I am tar.ght to speak every lan- guage ; I have been companion to philosophers ; I have lived in kinp;s palaces ; I have travelled over every country : The adventures of a guinea publish- ed some years ago, were but a small sample of \vhat I have seen and heard. No man can say a word against my character. The scripture bears a very honourable testimony in my favour. It is said in the second chapter of the book of Genesis — " The land of Havilah, where there is gold, and the gold of that land is good ;" that is, as it ought to be interpreted,—*" There is in that land a very worthy fellow of the name of Gold — him kce/i It is well known what Micah said, when the eleven hundred pieces which he .had stolen from his mother, were plundered by the Danites, — " Ye have taken away my gods, and what have I more ?" This was figurative language ; and tiiough'I do not approve of it, taken in its strict sense, yet it serves to shew the high opinion which this young prophet hrd formed of my character— judged me to be something more than mortal, and bordering upon divine. It v,'iil be found upon enquiry, that I have been in no small repute among good men in all ages. They have parted with country, v/ith family, v/Hh pleasure, but very seldom quitted their attachment to Hard Money. Gold, indeed, both in common conversa- tion, and with orators and writers, seems to be the standard of all excellence. Whatestr is very good, is said to be golden : We hear of a golden age* — a golden joy — and sayings that should^e writ in letters of gold. The poet Horace talks of <\.^oIdc-7i mean*. I could produce endless allusions of this nature, great- ly to my credit. The wise author of Hudibrass at-- tributes more to my presence, than to the fair sex : * !Shake>sf.earc*s Fahtaff. f Aurcam mcdhcritaiem^- M 2 138 Gazette Publications, Though love be all the world's pretence. Money's the mythologic sense ; The real substance of the shadow, Which all address and courtship's made to : And in gnother place— 'Tis not those orient pearls your teeth, That we are so transported with ; But the bright guineas in your chests, That light the wild 'fire in our breasts. These things considered, is it not a very great in- dignity, that since the beginning of the contest, I have been shut up in desks, and old chests, and mens pockets, while this fellow has been passing and re- passing with an air of triumph ; courted and carress- ed by individuals, and by every public body on the continent ? Is it to be born, that a fireman of ster- ling value ^ should see himself degraded from the of- fice which properly belongs to him, by a fellow, who, if things were on a right footing*, would scarcely be accounted good enough to use for my wrapping pa- per ? I leave the matter with the virtuous citizens of this country, and hope they will do me that justice which is due to an old and faithful servant. HARD MONEY. January 29, 1779. * Quibus^ bi respublica valeret formidini cssetyme, Sallust. Gazette Publications, 139 The answer of Continental Currency to the REPRESENTATION AND REMONSTRANCE OF HaRD Money, also addressed to the people of Amlerica. By Hortensius. Citizens.) FINDING myself most egregiously traduced by Mr. Hard Money in his publication of January last; I must beg your patient attention to the vindication of my injured honour, against the malicious and unpro- voked aspersions with which that angry gentleman has endeavoured to blacken my character. That the unwarrantable liberty he has taken with my reputation, proceeds rather from malice and dis- appointment, than any just cause of offence ; he has not, with all his artifice, had sufficient address to con- ceal. So far from it, that he plainly discovers, in the very first paragraph of his representation, his resent- ment against me to proceed from his late defiosition from office ; and the superior estiinalion in which I have the honour to be held by all the virtuous citizens of America. For it is observable that he admits my general good character, by falsely ascribing it to ca- /2?7ce and wA27K. But that the Congress itself, and all the respectable whigs on the continent, are caliricious and whimsical in their esteem for me, I think none but a Toi'ij^ (as I shrewdly suspect him to be) would have dared to insinuate. It is beyond qviestion his insuppressible envy at my late renown, with the con- sciousness of his own declining influence, in the United States, that has exasperated him to describe my person, by the opprobrious epithets of that iiaper- Ki-asted^ rag-born^ kite-faced feilonv^ Contikentaj. Currency. 140 Gazette Publications. As the use of defamatory language equally shews the want of argument as of good breeding (a proof by the bye, how much Mr. Hard Money is polished by all his boasted travels), I shall not imitate him in this his foreign acquisition. But as his next observation affects my character as an honest man, I cannot pass it over in silence. He has the assurance to represent me as assuming, upon my first appearance, an air of importance ; and imposing upon the common people, *' with whom, (he petulantly subjoins) as with young women, a stranger is always a divine creature.'" It is like the manners of this disafipointed officer.^ that he was not content to confine his abuse to me, but must at the same time attack the good people of America, with every young lady in the land. And the charge, as far as it relates to myself, could not have been more groundless, had it been fabricated by hi^ viost excel- lent Majesty*s or (perhaps more properly by) his Ma^ jesty^s most excellent printer, James Rivington^ Esq. of unromantic and most credible memory. Was I as proud as Nebuchadnezzar, I could have had no temp- tation to assume any airs on my first appearance abroad. I was introduced into company by the Pre- sident of. Congress, with the approbation of ail the members ; and so far from obtruding myself upon the people, that I not only met with a welcome reception wherever I came ; but thousands went considerably out of their usual way^ and not a few out of the com- mon road established by law, for the sake of my corn- company. Nor do I ever travel without carrying with me, from the most august assembly in the world, the amplest letter of recommendation, and the most au- thentic testimonials of my real worth, which I am bold to assert is more than this self-applauding puffer is able to produce. I must beg leave farther to ob- serve, that I am always known on my entering in company ; and indeed, like those of the garter and star, exhibit my rank and distinction on my breast ; ifvhereas I have often seen this gentleman travelling Gazette Publications. 141 about In such questionable shafie^ that people have been obliged to try him, as the prophet Daniel in- forms us Bels|;^zzar was tried ; and not unfrequently like Belshazzar too, has been found wanting of his- pretensions. How far the Peres recorded of the same unhappy Prince, may also speedily become his fate ; and the French and Sjianlards prove therjnselves the Medes and Persians^ by whom what is left of him in Great-Britain shall be divided^ it concerns him duly to contemplate. And with whom has he, for the three years last past kept company in America ? With whom indeed, but smugglers, ingrossers, fore- stallers, misers, tories, extortioners, real Je'ivs^ Chris- tian Gentiles^ and political infidels ? As to his suspicion of my not being a man of for- tune, from the circumstance of sonic shofikeefiers ask' ing two to one, for any article on my credit ; it is a conclusion altogether illogical. Had he thought pro- per to name the shopkeepers to whom he alludes, I could have proved that their exorbitant demands arose from another quarter ; and my ability to pay can ne- ver be called in question, it being notorious that I have a letter of credit from the Congress, with all North-America as sureties, for whatever I shall think proper to buy in any shop. But as I scorn to deny any known truth, I frankly confess that I am rather too widely distended, and have lately become more corfiulent, than either suits with my own locomotive destination ; or is calculated to render me so agree- able to those with whom I am conversant, as might be wished. This disorder, however, has been brought upon me by a conjuncture of circumstances, which never fail to produce it ; and the reproach, I am sure, comes with a very ill grace, (especially with such ludicrous language, as my enormity of carcase, and the circle of tny belly) from a person who has more than once experienced the like ventrical trans- formation, upon occasions much less important or ' eompulsive. If the heat of his ^xission prevented his J42 Gazette Publkations. recollecting that himself hath been airiicted with the same malady ; I remember the time when he was most frightfully dilated in France ; and notwithstand- ing his usual contempt of those honest'men, was not only associated but actually incorporated with Mon- sieurs L'Acier, and L'Airain*. I remember that the like disaster befel him in Morocco, by the advice of Ripperda ; and could produce numerous instances of his having had the dro/isy in question ; was not the fact too notorious to require any historical illustration. But what discovers the most singular spleen in this author is, that he seems as much out of humour with my late reduction^ as with my former enormity^ c^ size. So that whether distended or attenuated, gi- gantic or pigmean, he will still be quarrelling with my corporeal dimension. The shape and size of a man's body being entirely the production of nature, and ne- ver, by persons of humanity or politeness, mention- ed as matter of obloquy, I shall dismiss this uncivil remark of my opponent (w^hich doth not in the least afFect my moral character) with an observation which he has obliged me to make, not from any pleasure \ take in disclosing his infirmities, but to prevent him. in future from exposing those of his neighbours. He will therefore be pleased to remember that there is a certain distemper peculiar to himself and to English- men, from which I am constitutionally exempt, I mean the Swcating-dckJicss : A disease which hath often reduced him to a skeleton. And if one must needs labour under an excess either of magnitude of minuteness, I would at any time rather be an ele- phant than a pismire. His next observation intimately affecting the ho- nour of my family, deserves also a particular notice. For would you believe it, Gentlemen, that Mr. Har(\ Money should presume, against the better knowledgf of you all, to assert in the face of the sun, that I an * Brass and Coji^irr.- Gazette PubliccUmu, 143 a fellow of obscure birth^ the son of one iMmfi-hlack^ a worker at the fir ess in a firinting office in Philadelphia ? For the falsity of this charge I can appeal to all Ame- rica, which has ever acknowledged me as the genuine legitimate unquestioned offspring of the Congress, whose express signature and lineaments I bear in my countenance ; and-if it :be a little singular to have more fathers than one, I am sure it is more honour- able ; especially considering their dignity, than) as it frequently happens in contemplation of law, and is pro- bably the case with this braggadocio in particular) to have no father at all*. Besides the grandeur of my pedigree, for v/hich I know Mr. Hard Money envies me, I might also glory in having every TVhig, «iale and female on the whole continent for my S/ionsoj-s ; and religiously engaged to nurture, to maintain, to support, and finally to bury me, in the most honour- able manner that America can afford. And if Mr. Lamp-black should have been called as a man mid' 'wife to facilitate my birth ; I am neither resjxjnsible for it, if true ; nor, for the time of the supposed transaction, capacitated, of my own knowledge, to dei- ny it, if false. - Respecting the circumstance of my having in my vzsagey the plain traces of the ink-balls ; it is a very common thing for great personages to be born with preternatural marks ; as was the family of Seleucus, v/ith the figure of an anchor. But to be clipped and cropped (a condition in which I have seen Somebody before now) doth not usually befal a man by accident. And if a Printing-office was the place of my nativity^ so has it been of the noblest productions that ever blessed or adorned the world. And I could produce instances of both Popes and Emperors born in cotta- ges ; and one of his Holinesses in particular, who so little heeded such an adventitious circumstance as fa- . Cfitiously to call himself of an illustrious house., from * JVuUius Jilius . 144 Gazette Publications, the so I'uinated condition of the tenen\ent in which he first drew the vital air, as to admit the rays of the sun through its roof. But pray, where was Mr. Hard Money born ? In all probability fifty feet under ground ; and contaminated and incrusted with dross, and scum, and rust, and sediment ; with refuse, nas- tiness, and pollution. There had he still lain in his primeval chaotic obscurity, had not the groveling hand of Avarice, grubbing in the dirt, dragged him into open day, in such a loathsome pickle as to be beyond the power of water to absterse and defecate ; but requiring the additional aid of fire, and the art of fusion, to disunite him from his filthy adherents, and render him fit company for gentlemen. In a word, i courteous reader, this proud boaster of birth anddis--, tinguished parentage, was in reality fumigated and bellows'd into this high breathing world between limp- ing Fulcan and goody Crucible, having sooty ChaV' coal for his swaddling clothes ; Granny Forceps per- forming the office of old Mother Midnight ; and Gaf- fers Hammer and Anvil liking the Cub into his present form. He upbraids me in the next place with the want of erudition ; and that I have some Latin scrajia and mot- :os, rjhich I frequently throtv out in the manner of a fiedant. It is so delicate a point for a man to offer any thing in favour of his own literary accomplishments, that I suspect my antagonist purposely intended to avail himself of this unmanly advantage. .Having however already had the public approbation of the few Latin apothegms which I have occasionally used; I am not anxious about his opinion of my pedantry, a fault not easily ascertained ; and most commonly ob- jected by those who know themselves clear of the imputation, front a particular reason that redounds not to their honour. As to the significancy of my mot- tos I shall only observe, that they are at least as in- ; btructive and as apropos, as any that I have ever met with of kis production ; which have generally been Gazette Publications* , 145 srach turgid nonsense as l''i}-o Immorialij to describe a man born yesterday, and who perhaps will not survive t»-morrow ; with some adulatory scraps in praise of Certain robberies committed by turbulent and desolat- ing princes, under the title of conquests ; and some memorandum generally of the time when the gen- tleman himself was squeezed in a mill, as a passport to set out on his travels. And what mighty erudition there is in all this, I submit to the impartial reader. But the more effectually to prevent his future enco- miums upon his own literature, I beg leave to remind him of the story of the honest countryman, who, up- on seeing a man in the pillory for the crime of forge- Ty, felicitated himself, that he was not bred up to learning. Wishing in the true spirit of benevolence, . that the profundity of Mr. Hard Money's scholarship may never occasion his advancement to the like dis- agreeable eminence, I hasten to the farther consider- ation of his remonstrance. If I am stiff as a fiiece of fiafier^ I am doubtless more pliable than my accuser, who cannot be bent without considerable violence, and when constrained to a bowing posture, requires an equal effort to restoi'e him to an erect one. And relative to my bodily agi- lity and alertness either to take offdi nocturnal meteor, in the shape of a rocket ; or to dance a hornpipe upon the whirlwind, I challenge him for the best rumfi and dozen in the whole confederacy. Of my travels^ indeed, I do not pretend to boast ; but in excuse of this defect in my education, I have it to offer, that I love my native country too well to be rambling over the globe in discriminate ser- vice of virtue and vice ; and that I think it more to my credit never to stir from the continent, than to lend my assistance either to the enemy in their hos- tilities against us ; or to the Tories^ for carrying on an illicit commerce ; of which practices, some/blks, who so plume themselves upon their acquaintance with the 'ivorldj are most violently suspected. N 3L46 Gazette Publications, Thowgh I cannot deny my having now and then been_ present at a horsc'race (a diversion for which I have no natural fondness, nor ever countenanced with my presence, but when carried by others) I was in* cautiously led into the error, by a prevailing report, that it was of public utility to encourage the breed of race-horses, for mounting our dragoons; but whether their speed was particularly recommended for the purpose of advancing or retreating, I do not remem- ber. Admitting however this part of my conduct to be really exceptionable (as in "truth I will not justify the practice) what is it but a mere peccadillo, in com- parison of the dissipation, the luxury, and the innume- rable criminal sports and pastimes into which multi- tudes are daily seduced in every part of the world (that Mr. Hard Money has ever explored) by his in- strumentality and influence ? The balls, the routs, the assemblies, the drums, the plays, the operas, the Ranelaghs, the Vauxhalls, the masquerades, and the New-markets, are they not all supported by this boast- er of good, and promoter of bad, morals ? Nor is there the least foundation for his charging me with having pledged my ivlg and hat at a ta-uern, as I so-s' lemly protest that I never wear either hat or wig ; using no other covering for the head than the Cafi of Liberty ; which never was, nor, (from his apparent bias to Toryism^ and the principles of those from whom he generally derives his importance) I pre- sume, ever will be, any part of his dress. And if I do sometimes frequent an ordinary or a beer-house ; ha,ve I not a constitutional right, as a native and free- man of America, to drink to the Congres, and Gcy neral Washington ; when this insolent Vicar of Bray/ has been known, at different limes, to promote for a toast, his Britannic Majesty^ the Majority^ the Pre-- tendery the Grand Signior, the Prince ofHesse.y Lord JYorth and the Arch-'oishofi of Canterbury ? Respecting Mr. Hard Money's accusation of my visiting one Ch^-te, a comm.on prostitute in Phila- Gazette Publications, 147 delphia ; not to take notice of his ungentleman-Iike conduct, in exposing one's amours to public view ; I have 'tis true been in some houses in that city, from Which, revolving the usage I have met with, and the attempts to defireciatc my character, it had been for my interest to have kept at a distance. But who hath visited the Laisses, the Thaisses, the Phrynes, and the Sempronias of antiquity ; and the Murrays, and Gibbers, and Fishers, and Dawsons, and Whapping- tons, and Phillipses j with numberless other courte- zans of modern times ? Who but this same ungene- rous informer, who is known to have supported them tn the greatest gaiety and splendor, to the inexpressi- ble offence of all men of sobriety and continence ? The gentleman's accusation of mij collusion in the different offices about the army^ and sticking to their hands^ 8cc. I briefly answer by quoting that salutary maxim, The leant said, the soonest mended. With a degree of m.alignity peculiar to himself, he has farther attempted to render my whiggism proble- maticai ; and that for the notable reason of my having been several tirnes in the cnerm/s lines, ivhether, says he, to gain i7it€lligence^ or to communicate it, 7nay be mat- ter of inquiry ; and then criminates me for having eat for my picture ; and leaving many of them cinong the enemy ivhich harve been spread about the country by the Tories &c. That I ever went into the British lines by my own consent, I positively deny, and if I 'have involuntarily been carried thither ; has not the like misfortune happened to some of our best officers and greatest patriots ? Nay it is the enemy's opinion of my importance to the United States, that induced them to concert so many projects to get me into their lines ; and when once in their power, how could I prevent their taking my picture ? Nor is their regard for my likeness, an inconsiderable proof of their sense of my dignity, as no one ever personates a man of bad repute, or disesteemed in the country through which the impostor means to travel in his borrowed 148 Gazette Fiihlications. > character. But what will this tradiicer have to say- in his own defence, when I prove it upon him, that himself has been frequently seen in the enemy's lines buying up those very identical pictures, which he so unjustly blames me for permitting them to take ? But ROW for the most pompous blazonry of his birth, family, relations, accomplishments, and travels, that vanity itself ever obtruded upon the chaste ears of the respectable public. My birth^ says he, in all respects in honourable . I am descended of the sun beams. I am related to the Jamily of the pearls and diamonds: I am rejined by a proper course of edu^ cation : I am taught to speak e-very language ; I have been the compariion of philosophers : I have lived in kings fialaces : I have travelled over every country. , .Well said Nebuchadnezzar in all the insolence of self- adoration ! As to the gentleman's birth^ I have given the reader a stricture of it before ; and from his un- cleanly appearance at his first emerging into light, it will be readily admitted that he wanted great rcfnc- inmt. For his being descended from the sun beams^ there is as little foundation for it, as for Alexander's being sprung ft'om Jupiter Ammon. For whoever heard of the solar rays penetrating into the subter- raneous caverns of his nativity ? But was I prone to vaunt of my parentage, I could with greater proba- bility deduce my origin by the mother's (which is the surest) side, from that glorious luminary ; with- out whose genial prolific influences, Lady Flajc, my more immediate ancestor, would never have seen the vital World. But respecting his being of kin to the family oi the pearls and diamonds, it is a bounce, vain beyond vanity itself. The pearl, we all know is a gem found in certain shell-fish ; and what more affi- nity there is (consanguinity being doubtless out of the question) between Mr. Hard Money, the mineral and the family of the pearls generated in the ocean^ than there is between earth and water, a mine and an oyster-bed, Sir Hans himself, was he still livings Gazette Publications', 149 \^uld be posed to determine. And considering the disgrace brought by some of the family upon the whole house of the Pearls, in the case of her most continent Majeatrj Cleopatra-^ I think it no proof of his prudence to discover so great fondness for that part of his kindred. But the truth is, that he rather . glories in the lustre than in the honour of his name, or he had never submitted to be hammered into shoes for Nero's horses. His pretended relationship to the race of the Diamonds, is doubtless "wliolly built on his conjectured production in the vicinity of that precious jev/el. But who ever heard a boar boasting of being pigged in a sty contiguous to a stable for coursers ; or what cobler arrogates the more impor- tance for being born near a palace ? But besides the eminence of his family ; his per- sonal endowments, it seem-s, are above the common lot of humanity. The Gentleman can sfieak cdl Ian-- guages. "-'There is one language in which I should be glad to see him iviite ; and that is the langxiag-e of truth. There is another language which ^t had be£n for his reputation never to have learnt at all, and that is the language o^ Billingsgate. But if his rllegation was true, it would induce an unfavourable surmize ; because I well remember that the greatest linguist in Europe was also the greatest imfiostor in Europe. His name, if I recollect it, was Psalmanazer ; but whether he was as nearly allied to Mr. Hard Money, as -the fiearl and diamond, I pretend not to be certain ; though positive I am, it was both by that gentle- man's influence and co-operation, thiat he perpetrated most of his rogueries. I Mf. Hard Money, we are told, has also been « com- I fi^nion of pkilosojihers ; and lived in King^s palaces. ; As there are many Jc'nvs who are not Israelites indeed, so there have been many philosophers, who dicV not practise philosophy ; and it were to be wished that my antagonist had been pleased to name the puiticu- lar sages, who were so enamoured of his companr, N 2 150 Gazette Pitblicatioiis. A knowledge of their true character, in order to de- termine whether he is entitled to praise ; or ought to be branded with infamy, from this circumstance of his life ; is, I conceive, absolutely necessary. In the ' mean time, I can inform him of some philosophers, and those of the greatest renown for practising their own precepts, who discovered a very different opinion of the dignity of his person, and the honour of his intimacy. I know that Diogenes would not admit him into his presence, though Alexander the Great offered to introduce him. I know that Lycurgus banished him his commonwealth ; and received inta his room a personage of much greater public utility, though of less ostentation and glitter. And I also know that the famous Ericthon repented to his dying hour, his having invited him into Greece, though ^ with the laudable view of facilitating trade among the* Grecian isles. Was our traveller as well acquainted with the ge- nius of America, as he might have been, if he, like myself, had been born in this free and independent country, he would not, I am persuaded so impru- dently have plumed himself on having lived in the: fialaces of kings. There are among kings, the most abandoned, and the most amiable characters. Hap- py would it be for the world, did the latter form the majority. In the cotirts even of the best, it is to be lamented, that the most worthless and flagitious of men, too often obtain admittance. Mr. Hard Money ought therefore to have pointed out, of what kings in particular he hath been so great a favourite, and in what cafiacity he hath served them. His intimacy, for instance, with their 7nost sacred Majesties Caligu-^ la or Richard the Third, or any other the like impe- -■ rial or royal butcher, (especially in the department of cook^ catamite^ or rat catcher) would be but a very in- different reecmmendation to most of our citizens. His- having served sych voluptuaries as Commodus and (^aracalla, or Hcliogubulus and Sardanapalus, in their Gazette Publications, 151 debaucheries, would never procure him the good graces of the Congress : Nor in the present humour of America, (which is likely to be very durable) and considering the opinion she entertains of a certain great personage, would it reflect any honour on his character to be prime-minister to his Britannic ma- jesty, whom his fascinations, though North is tjie os- tensible premier, have brought into such a woful scrape, as it will puzzle him to get out. That the gentleman has travelled aver every coun- try^ is an assertion not founded in fact ; as I know many countries that would never grant him an ad-- mission, but thought themselves much happier withn out him. So that in the extent of his peregrinations, I am persuaded he is distanced by his predecessor Cain, who, as great a fugitive and vagabond as he was, shewed Iiis superior sense, by finally settling in the land of Nod. But supposing that our author had really travelled over _.every country ; so has the wan-- dering Je%v : and from the singular attachment of that nation to Mr. Hard Money, and how much they will do for him, he is strongly suspected to be of He- brew original; and what strengthens the suspicion is, that upon many of his family, have been found the evident marks of circumcision. Add to this, that be his travels as extensive as they will, he never yet ram- bled into any country, to which some of these his fa- miliars did not speedily follow him. But whether he be Jeiv or Gentile^ I think that a man who cannot fix upon, any particular spot of the whole terraqueous globe for an abiding residence, must either be of a very roving' disposition ; or meet with a welcome reception no where : and that he is not apprehended as a -vagrant upon his own confession ; and as such proceeded figainst, according to law : he ought to ascribe to the. lenity of our government, for which, from his pecu- liar acrimony against me (the main support of our glo- rious confederation) I have great reason to questioi> his affectioa* 152 Gazette Publications. Nor can I help thinking that he might as wcH have^ forborn to pervert the scripture in favour of his cha* racter, when we know that they are not the least in- structive passages of holy writ, which warn us against his snares and alJurements ; and that to sum up its numerous and salutary admonitions against his per- nicious seduction, it has in so many words described our attachment to him, as the root of all evil. And V was in hopes that the chastisement he received from Moses (who, for having transferred the worship of the Israelites from their Creator, to himself in the shape of a calf had him ground into powder) would never have slipped his memory. Without the authority of Hudibrass, it is a well-- known and a melancholy truth, that he has indeed too much influence in many courtships ; but considering the tragical ccmsequences generally attending such pecuniary marriages, I think common prudence should have restrained him fron valuing himself up-~ on that part of his history. The poets, I grant, speak of et- golden agr, and cu golden joy ; and so^ they do of golden locks. But are we for that reason to prefer a red-hair'd girl, to a beauty with her tresses of jet ? And if Horace com- mends a golden mean^ he is as great an encomiast of drinking and ivenching. But that we are thence to in- - fer the excellency of fornication and drunkenness.^ I presume Mr. Hard Money is not hardy enough to avow. Having thus, gentlemen, answered every part of this author's remonstrance, I beg leave to address myself personally to him ; if peradventure I am able, by representing him in his true colours, to abash that excessive self-esteem and fastidiousness, with which he appears so unhappily inflated. When a man, Mr. Hard Money, writes his own history, he ought to relate the whole truth. But as I may, without breach of charity, venture to afiirm, that you haVe been greatly delinquent in this essential Gazette Publications* 153 duty of a faithful biographer, I shall endeavour to supply your deficiencies ; with a solemn appeal to ail your acquaintance for the justness of the portrait. — . Know, then, that you have been the principal instiga- tor of all the thefts, robberies, murders, assassinations and wars, that have, from the foundation of the world, to the present moment in which I am drawing your true picture, disgraced human nature ; and contami- nated the creation with blood and slaughter. That you have been guilty of fratricide, parricide, and re- gicide ; (I wish I could say, suicide) with the most atrocious and heaven-defying perjuries. Tliat you have adulterated religion with numberless vain and ridiculous ceremonies ; unhallowed the priesthood with secularity, and polluted the sacred altars with -the most detestable simony. That to you is justly to be ascribed the invention of purgatory, of masses, in- dulgencies, and dispensations ; the corruption of the British parliament ; and, (as much of a ivhig as you may pretend to be) the present cruel and unprovoked war, which, a nation infatuated with your imaginary charms, is now carrying on against us. That you have not only impelled them to this \mnatural vio- lence ; but have in fact assisted them in alllheir ope- rations J and that without your aid, they had long since desisted from their purpose of enslaving these happy regions ; and from all the horrid and barbar- ous ravages hitherto perpetrated to accomplish it. That for your sake, and by your instigations, and without any provocation given, Kouli Khan pillaged the capitol of Indostan ; and the inhuman Clive, de- voted, in the same quarter of the world, millions of his species to destruction. That you it was, Mr. Hard Money, who enervated, corrupted, and finally destroyed the liberties of Rome, after she had obtain- ed the empire of the world, and shewn herself invin- cible even by you, m the memorable case of your al- liance and allurement vrith Phyrrus of Epire. Nor have we yet forget. Mr, Modesty^ how you was offer- 154 Gazette Publications, ed (and you objected not to the proposal) to be sent by Governor Johnstone to a member of Congress, upon a very indelicate errand. That not content with a proper respect for your person, founded on your real utility for some of the purposes of civil life, you hav6 arroL^ated to yourself divine honours ; and excited whole nations to the most execrable idolatries, causing yourself to be worshipped by some, under the title of Mammon, and by others under that of Fiutus ; and more or less tempted the whole human race, to pa^ you a kind of religious veneration. And, in fine, that if you have been caressed by the majority of mankind, (which is but too true) you have been chiefly caress- ed by the vilest and most profligate ; while the vnsk and the virtuous have not only treated you with pro- per contempt ; but have generally rendered theil' wisi- dom and virtue conspicuous, in proportion to the cohtem.pt with which they did treat you. V/ith respect, gentlemen, to myself, — howevei* painful it is to draw my own panegyric, and to which nothing but this author's calumny, and the justice I owe to my ov/n reputation, could have prompted me', I dare announce it in the face of the world, that mau- gre all attempts to expose my birth, parentage, cor-^ pulence, education, gallantries and rogueries, (which are as incapable of tarnishing the lustre of my cha- racter, as is a glow worm to eclipse the splendour of the sun) I have hitherto supported fleets and armies; maintained thousands of worthy citizens ; and con- verted others into gentlemen, in whom nothing else could have wrought such a transformation. That I have imparted to little innkeepers the lofty strut of noblemen ; and to hawkers and pedlars, the import- ance of merchants. That respecting some of my fe- male acquaintance of the humblest class, Plain Goody will no longer down ; " 'Tis Madam in her grogram gown.** Ga::^ett€ PubiicatiGns, 155 That I have more than once, and uith inferior num- bers, routed the veteran and well-disciplined troops of Great-Britain, and hitherto frusti-ated, amidst in- numerable disadvantages, the hostile attempts of a very powerful and warlike nation ; and, still stronger to speak my weight and dignity, that even General Washington himself, has not been more instrument- al in bringing our public affairs to their present happy iiud glorious crisis, than^ Gentlemen, Your much-injured, and most obedient humble servant, CONTINENTAL CURRENCY. March 20, 1779. Hints for what might be put in practice ooj Election grounds. IN these hints for the conduct of elections, I shall not touch upon the means, that are well known, and in use amongst us ; such as the great advantage pf choosing judges promptly, before our adversaries are aware, and the use of ear-marks on the tickets, to ; enable these judges, to challenge or admit according- ly ; or the advantage oi ofien-houses hard by ; or kegs of Avhiskey at election districts. Nor shall I enlarge ©n what is well understood, the placing industrious »ien at the windows to change the tickets^ with ano- ther set to vouch for such as have a right to vote. The bringing forward soldiers, occasionally stationed 156 Gazette Publications. here, I shall leave to our military friends ; and for di- rections in adducing men of colour about dusk, when the complexion cannot be easily distinguished, I re- fer to that able counsellor and diligent attorney — ; , for when rascality is to be effected, how better done than by rascality itself? Providing a quantum suf- ficit of under-strappers to bear about tickets like powder-monkies in the heat of an engagement, ought not to be neglected ; but I take this, also, to be amongst the common rules and regulations which liave been long in practice. The province to which I would confine my observations, is that of bringing up the -voters^ a work now more difficult than here- tofore, since many of our friends begin to hack, and it is to be feared will be backward at our next election. Our usual means have been, by hand, to lead forward, or to shove along those under our care ; but this is a thing of labour and slow operation. The applica- tion of mechanicks in this as in other employments has been long a desideratum, and appears to me practicable. I would propose that the electioneerer furnish himself with a cord, a common bed-cord might be used for the purpose, forming a bite or loop upon it at the one end ; this thrown over the votable he might be drawn along by the neck, under pain of ! strangling by resistance. A strap of leather around a couple of pullies, and fastened to the waist band of the breeches, would facilitate the pulling heavy persons ; and a block and tackle near the windows might be constructed to hoist them up. The wheel and axis might be applied as in a draw well. A lever Hke the sweep of an apple mill, movable horizontal- ly on a fulgrum, could be managed with the touch of ' a finger, to swing forward two or three individuals at a time. On tlie prL.ciple of the inciined plane, planks might be placed, so, that when tolled along by whiskey and put upon them, such as cannot walk or stand may be gently :rundled down to give their suf- frages. A portable handscrew would perhaps be one w Gazette Publicattons. 157 cf the most convenient instruments that a man could I my on the ground. — But it is to be understood .that I only siig,q;est hints, and should any one profit by them, and improve the introduction of the mechani- cal principles, either in the use of a single power, or a combination, so as to produce a machine, I claim no iiirht to the invention ; or pretend to any emolument, :.ould a patent from the administration be obtained. am earnestly anxious that the experiment be made, ' id have no doubt, but that, as in agriculture, or iianufactures, so here, manual labour may be great- ly reduced by the skill of art. It is the more neces- s :.ry, on our side, as our friends consist a great deal the inhabitants of towns, and are young lawyers, and whuflers of one kind or another, and though they have the good will yet not the strength to urge for- ward pondrous bodies that come from the country. After the last election which was a busy day, a go- Temor being to be chosen*, I have heard many of them complain, for a week, of aching shouldei's, and jomts of the limbs, vrith the sore sernce of the occa- sion. A friend of mine, a young man of a turn of mind towards mechanical philosophy, taking a hint, as he informs me, in conversation on this head, has fur- nished me with a drawing of a portable instrument, on the principle of the axis in peritrochio ; he has tried it upon a number of persons at a barbecue, and four or five sluggish men can be moved by it with more ease than one by the hand. How much more easy and convenient for electioneerers to discharge their duty by such helps ; how much more decent and de- corous, also, than to be seen puiting and blo.ving like porters carrying along, or attempting to carry, by main strength, the suffrages to tlie windows ? — Don Quevedo, in his Visions, tells us, that at the gate of Hell he saw a broken-backed Devil, and was told it * The election of Governor M^Kean^ O 158 Gazette Publications, was by carrying in taylors. I would not wonder to see many of our friends broken-backed, as things now are, by overstrained burdens. I shall not enlarge farther at present ; but resume the subject at a more convenient opportunity. Allegheny County^ October 1 1, 1800. ##******# *******^ President, Sec. Sir, LOOKING over your Extract from a Charge delivered to the grand Jury of Crawford County, Oc^ tober Sessions, 1800, which wags, or adversaries have induced you to publish, I find myself disposed to make some observations. Whether this Charge be INDICTABLE or IMPEACHABLE, I sliall leave to the Legislature, or Attorney General of the State. But, it certainly cannot be prudent in a Judge, by departing from the subject of official duty, to sub- ject himself, to have his veracity from the Bench, with impunity, called in question. I alkide to the general strain of the Charge ; but, more especially to the following paragraph ;—~We all knoiv ivhat art's Kvere used, by some interested individuals^ to promote the election of the firesent governor. They said^ that if Mr. JVPKean were elected Governor ^ he would abolish the excise, the stamji act, the land tax, the standing army and the Alien and Sedition laws. Those who printed and repeated those tales knew them to be false. But they effected their purpose : He was elected. The implication necessarily carries with it two things, 1st, That the election of the present Governor, was the result, not of fair opinion, but of falsehood, and fraud ; and 2d. That the people to whom your Charge was Gazette Fuhlications, 159 delivered, were the accomfiUces or dnjics of the mis- representation. In this last point of view, it astonish- es me, and is a strong proof of the love of order, and respect for the laws among the people, that under a sense of the gi-oundlcss and degra{:ling* LIBEL, the^ were not fired witli sudden indignation, and did not drag you from your seat, and tread you under foot*. The libel was calculated for people at a distance ; but it required a fi\ce srs hard as ebony or horn, to stand up and express it, where the contrary was so well known. On the part of the Governor elect, the er- ror was excess of scrupulous honour, and deliccicy, in supporting Lis electio-n^ Of the Arts of which you speak, I never heard before. Whether these are the mc/y'^^-f ?2gz^'* oiTspring of your own brain, or imported from your association, I am at a loss to say. But, be that as it may., it is noto- rious in this country, where I write, and address you, that they had no existence. However much you may be disposed to undervalue the understanding of the people, there is net so great a fool, from Lake Erie to Dixon's Lin^ j from the Dan to the Beer Sheba, of the citra-racntane settlement, as to be imposed up- on by any such means. As the district had been long ago surfeited with your Mctaphysico — politico — theologicc — ^juridico- Charges, so it had been thought, that, you were yourself satiated, with the applause, real or imagina- ry ; which you had excited : more especially as you had at last, got them in a book, and in a fair way to travel, by subscription, to some distance. But, not the love of lame, but a sense of duty, led you to this * jit this late period such a decision upon thai point as the respo7idcnts now contend for ^ might almost in- duce the merchants of London to shut the doors of Guildhall against the Judges. Lord Alvanley^ Chief Justice of the Common Picas, 3. Bosanquet Q-nd Puller's Reports^ 5i7, 160 Gazette Publications. task. Ah, man, if you knew the reverse effect of your endeavours ! That nothing could be more cal- culated to shock the public mind, and disgust, than your homilies ; nothing more likely to bring about an INSUR.RECTION, by opposite means to the first ; That, by yielding to popular opinion, or flatter- ing it ; This, by intolerant abuse ; ofnciai contemptj and dcgra.ding insult. But you must lecture, you must declare your senti- ments. Have you not Scull's paper in which every animal from the buifaloe, to t\\Q civet-cat^ has, of late,, been accustomed to EXPRESS itself ? Or, if you must harangue, cannot you do it, out of Court ? Is tliere not the vacation? Must you have the BENCH ? Is there not a stooie-siefi or a horse-block to stand upon? A half barrel or a keg to put your legs in ? " Henley's gilt tub ; MTleckno's Irish tiiroxe.'* —It is astonishing that ycur cacoethes dicendi can- not be exhausted. Does no person ever tell you liow much you expose yourself ? But if they did, what credit vrould you give ? You have no self-examina- tion ; no retro-flexion of m.ind. You think on c?ie a^de*. I have laboured hard to get you to know yourself. 1 'have v/atched over you as a patient, to see if the in- flammation was reduced ; if gentle phlebotomy had 'been sufficient. The m.ore powerful remedies must come. Your audacity increases, your impudence mul- tiplies in lime and space. It was not enough for you to " comtfit*' the minds of the young Coimsel of yeur District by engaging them to sign and circulate your libels. Il was not enough for you to oppose age and services in the election of a Governor ; and in the course of this opposition, to shew yourself in almoe every shape of indecency and indelicacy ; but, no\. that the majesty of the people has decided, you must * Alluding' to o.n earfn-ession in a charge, " Trutd lias but one side.** Gazette Puhlicat'ions, 161 endeavour with your ^cGrrufit' opinion, to corrupt the opinions of others, resolving his election into fraud and false suggestions ; in your Judicial capacity, un- dermining the executive authority, and struggling to bring into disrepute, and render unpopular his admi- nistration ; a high crime and misdemeanor in law ; contra bonos mores ; a breach of civility and deco- rum ; and, in every possible respect, blamable and offensive. " Propagating lies" are the terms you use, a lan- guage which marks your want of natural delicacy, or your low breeding. But the mendax infamia is your own : You are a calumniator of the body politic : you are a defamer of Pennsylvanians. You will wonder at the severity of my expressions, and be disposed to think that something strongly per- sonal, must enter into the composition of my indig- nation. How far a recollection of personal insult or injury may inflame a sense of public indignities, un- known and imperceptible to the sensiblity, it is im- possible to say. But so far as I know myself and am conscious of the actings of my mind, the present im- pressions and expressions are the offspring of a sense oi the wrongs of society. As to what relates to myself, I reserve for a more SOLEMjY OCCASIOjW Kovemher 15, 1800. O 2 162 Gazette Pitblwat'ions. Ax EuLGG-rL":.! of 'jiie Brave Mex wno li-, ■. .. FALLEN IN THE CONTEST WITH GrEAT-BrI TAIN : DELIVERED ON Monday, July 5, 1779. Befo»i: A NUMEROUS AND RESPECTABLE ASSEMBLY OF CI TIZENS AND FOREIGNERS, IN THE GeHIIAN Ca j- •Heroes then aroae ^ Who scor7iing coward self, for others Hv'd, Tcirdjbr their case, and for their saftty bled. IT is the high reward of those who have risked their lives in a just and necessary war*, that their names are sweet in the mouths of men, and every age shall know their actions. I am happy in having it in my power, before a polite assembly, to express what I think of those who have risked their lives in the war of America. I know my abilities rise not to a level with so great a subject, but I love tlie memo- ry of the men, and it is my hope, that the affection which I feel, wHl be ta me instead of genius, and give me warm words to advance their praises. I conceive it as the first honour of these men, that before they engaged in the war, they saw it to be just and necessary. They were not the vassals of a proud chieftain rousing them, in barbarous times, by the blind impulse of attachment to his family, or engag- ing them to espouse his quarrel, by the music and * Tacitus. Gazette PubfiCGtions, 16 J cvtaLinient of his hall. Thej were themselves the? :'jitains of their own cause, highly in::trucled in the- nature of it, and, from the best principles of patriot- ism, resolute in its defence. They had heard the de- claration of the court and parliament of Great-Britain, claiming the authority of binding them in all cases- whatsoever*. They had examined this claim, and- ibund it to be, as to its foundation, (groundless, as to its nature, tyrannical, and in its consequences, ru- inous to the peace and happiness of both countries. On this clear apprehension and decided judgment of the cause, ascertained by their own reason, and col- lected from the best writers, it was the noble purpose of their minds to stand forth and assert it, at the ex- pence of fortune, and the hazard of their lives. These brave men W€re not soldiers by profession^ bred to arms, and from a habit of military life attach- ed to it. They were n>en in the easy walks of life : mechanics of the city, merchants of the counting- house, youths engaged in literary studies, and bus-- bandmen, peaceful cultivators of the soil. Happy in the sociability and conversation of the town, the sim- plicity and innocence of the country village, or the philosophic ease of academic leisure, and the sweets of rural life, they wished not a change of these scenes of pleasure, for the dangers and calamities of war. It was the pure love of virtue and of freedom, burning bright within their minds, that alone could engage them to embark in an undertaliing of so bold and perilous a nature. Tlicse brave meii were not unacquainted with the circumstances of their situation, and their unpnepared state for war. Not a bayonet was anvilled out, not a, fire-arm manufactured, and scarcely a charge for a. fire-arm was in their possession. No redoubt Avas cast up to secure the city, no fort was erected to re- .'ist invasion, no gun mounted on the battery, and nc 7cs:sel launched upon the stream. * Statutes, 164 Gazette Publications. The power of Britain, on the otiier himd, v/as v/eH known, and by the lightning of her orators, in a thou- sand writings and harangues, had been thrown, in full force, upon their minds. They were taught to believe her, (what indeed she was) old in arts and in arms, and enriched with the spoils of a thousand vic- tories. Embraced by the ocean as her favourite, her commerce was extensive, and she sent out her ships to every sea. Abounding in men, her armies were in full force, her fleets were compleatly manned, her discipline was regular, and the spirit of her enterprize by sea and land, had, in most cases, insured her suc- cess. The idea of resistance to the power of Britain was Indeed great ; but the mighty soul of the patriot drank it in, and, like the eagle on the mountain-top, col- lected magnanimity from the very prospect of the height to which he meant to soar : Like the steed, who swallows the distant ground with his fierceness*, he attempted the career, and poured himself upon the race. The patriot quits his easy independent walk of life^ his shop, his farm, his office, and his counting-house, and with cA^ery hope and every anxious thought pre- pares himself for war. The materials of gun-powder are extracted from the earth ; the bayonet is anvilkd out ; the fire-arm is manufactured in the shop ; the manual exercise is taught ; the company is formed in battalion i the battalion is instructed to manoeuvre on the field ; the brigade is drawn forth ; and the standard of defiance is planted on the soil. Shall I mention the circumstances of the day wiien the sword was drav/n, and the first blood was shed ; and shall I trace the progress of the war in the course of five campaigns ? The narration would require the space of an intire day : I can mention but the sum of things J e.nd only tell you, that the inroad of tlie foe * Botjk of jQb. Gazette Pitblications, 165 ■ has been sustained upon the plain, and the forward '■■■ and impetuous bands have been driven over the dis- ' dainin;^ i^round which they had measured in advance. The hill has been defended, and the repulsed and rallying foe, have been taught to understand, that the valour of America was worthy of the cause which licr freemen had espoused. The wilderacss ha:* I)een penetrated, the current of the river has been ~ stemmed, and the ridge of hills has been surmount- ed in the march. It has been fought, foot to foot, and point to point, in skirmishes, and night-surprizes, 'din pitched battles, with alternate hope, and du- 1 i JU3 success. The enemy, beaten in one state has retired to a second, and beaten in the second he has I'jcurned to the first; beaten in every state he has i:^ht the water and like a sea-monster rolling to : d-ep, has washed his wounds in the brine of ocean, -ing from the ocean he has sought the land, £.nd anced with a slov^r and suspicious step upon the ' -.lie territory. War has again arisen, and it has : n fought from spring to autumn, and from autumn ; ],e spring, through the heats of summer, and the ^iclemencies of winter, with unabated ardour, and /luishaken perseverance. "What tract of country has , not been marked with the vestiges of war ? What Aground has not been cut with trenches ? What hiil has not been covered with redoubts ? \Vhat plain has not been made the scene of the engagement ? "What soil of our whole eartli has not been sewed v-ii h ball ? These have been the toils of the heroes of our ar- my ; but the brave men v/hom we this day celebrate, have added to their toils the loss of life. They ha^e fallen in the contest : These of them in the long and laborious march : These by the fever of the camp: These have fallen, v/hen, advancing on the enemy, they have received the bayonet in their breast ; or high in hope, and anxious of victory, they have dropt, by the cannon or the musket ball. 166 Gazette Publications, i For what cause did these brave men sacrifice the! lives? For that cause, which, in all ages, has engaged the hopes, the wishes, and endeavours of the best of men, the cause of Liberty. Liberty ! thou art in- deed valuable ; the source of all that is good and great upon the earth ! For thee, the wise and th ■ brave of eveiy age have contended. For thee, tl.^ patriot of America has drawn his sword, and has fought, and has fallen. What was in our power we have done with regard to the bodies of these men : we have paid them mi- litary honours : we have placed them in their native earth ; and it is with veneration that we yet view their tombs upon the furzy glade, or on the distant hxlh Ask me not the names of these. The muses shall tell you of them, and the bards shall woo* them to their songs. The verse which shall be so happy as to embrace the name of one of these shall be immor- tal. The names of these shall be read with the names of Pelopidas, Epaminondas, and the worthies of the world. Posterity shall quote them for parallels, and for examples. When they mean to dress the hero with the fairest praises, they shall say he was gallant and distinguished in his early fall, as Warren ; pru- dent, and intrepid, as Montgomery ; faithful, and generous, as Macpherson ^ he fell in the bold and resolute advance, like Haslet and like Mercer ; he saw the honour which his valour had acquired, and fciinted in the arms of victory, like Herldmer ; hav- ing gallantly repulsed the foe, he fell covered with wounds, in his old age, like Wooster. The names of these brave men shall be read ; and the earth shall be sensible of praise where their bodies are deposited. Hill of Bostonf, where the God of arms I gave uncommon valour to the patriot I Here the muses shall observe the night, and hymn heroic acts, and trim their lighted lamps to the dawn o£ * Plato. t Bunksr's HiU. ' Gazette Publications^ 1G7 |lfeornlng : The little babbling mystic brook, shall ^*1iear the melody, and, stealing with a silver foot, shall tell it to the ocean. Hills within prospect of the York city, where the enemy, rejoicing in his early strength, adventured and fought, or where, dc- ti'acting the engagement, he fled, with precipitation to his ships ! On you the tomb of the hero is beheld, and fancy walking round covers it with shades.— '■ Grounds in the neighbourhood of this city*, where the foreigner shall enquire the field of battle, and the citizen shall say with conscious pride, as if the honour was his own, this is the tomb of Witherspoon ; that . is tbe ground where Nash fell ! Plains washed by the Ashley and the Cooper, and before the walls of Charlestown ! Here has the hero fallen, or rather he has risen to eternal honour, and his birth-place shall be immortal. His fame, like a vestal lamp, is light- ed up ; It shall burn, with the world for its temple ; and the fair assemblies of the earth shall trim it with their praise. Having paid that respect to the memory of these men, which the annual return of this day demanded, it remains that we soothe the griefs of those who have been deprived of a father, bereaved of a son, or who ,. have lost a brother, a husband, or a lover in the con- test. Fathers, whose heroic sons have offered up their lives in the contest ; it is yours to recollect, that their lives were given them for the sernce of their country. Fathers ! dismiss every shade of grief ; you are happy in having been the progenitor of hiia who is written with the heroes of his country. Sons ! whose heroic fathers have early left you, and, in the conflict of the war, have mixed with de- ' parted heroes ; be congratulated on the fair inherit- ance of fame which you are intitled to possess. If it is at all lawful to array ourselves in borrowed honour, * Philaddplm. 168 Gazette Publications, surely it is best drawn from those who have acted a distinguished part in the service of their countiy. If it is at all consistent with the feelings of philosophy and reason to boast of lineal glory, surely it is most allowable in those who boast of it as flowing from such source. We despise the uninstructed mind of that man who shall obtrude upon our ears the ideas of a vain ancestral honour ; but we love the youth, and transfer to him the reputation of his father, who, when the rich and haughty citizen shall frown upon him as ignobly descended, shall say, " I had a father who has fallen in the service of his country." When after times shall speak of these who have ri- sen to renown, I will charge it to the golden-winged and silver-tongued bards, that they recollect and set in order every circumstance ; the causes of the war ; early and just exertions ; the toils, hazardous atchieve- ments ; noble resolution ; unshaken perseverance ; unabated ardour ; hopes in the worst of times ; tri- umphs of victory j humanity, to an enemy : AH these will I charge it. that they recollect and set in order, and give them bright and unsullied to the coming ages. The bards, I know Mill hear me, and you, my gallant countrymen, shall go down to pos- terity With exceeding honour. Your fame shall as- cend on the current of the stream of time : It shall play with the breezes of the morning. Men at rest, in the cool age of life, from the fury of a thousand wars finished by their fathers, shall observe the spreading ensign. They shall hail it, as it waves with variegated glories ; and feeling all the warm rap- ture of the heart, shall give their plaudit from the shores. Gazette Publications, 169 IN order to introduce a correspondence which I had the honour to have with Major-Gtneral Charles Lee, of the American army, I extract the following from a publication under the title of the United Statea Magazine J of January 1779. Genuine letter of an officer of high rank IN TH^E American service, to Miss F****s, a YOUNG LADY OF THIS CITY. Madar/i'i WHEN an ofncer of the respectable rank which 1 bear, is grossly traduced and calumniated, it is in- cumbent on him to clear up the affair to the world, with as little delay as possible. The spirit of defa- mation and calumny (I am sorry to say it) is gro'SATi to a prodigious and intolerable height on this conti- nent. If you had accused me of a design to pro- crastinate the war, or of holding a treasonable cor- respondence with the enemy, I could have borne it ; this I am used to, and this happened to the great Fa- bius Maxiraus. If you had accused me of getting drunk as often as I could get liquor (as tivo Alexanders the great^ have been charged with this vice) I should, perhaps, have sat patient under the imputation j or even if you had given the plainest hints that I had stolen the soldiers shirts, this I could have put up with, as the great duke of Marlborough would have been an example ; or if you had contentecf yourself with asserting that I was so abominable a sloven as^ never to part with my shirt, until mv shirt parted P 170 Gazette Publications. with me, the anecdotes of my illustrious name-sake of Sweden*, would have administered some comfort to me. But the calumny you have, in the fertility of your malicious wit, chosen to invent, is of so new, so unprecedented, and so hellish a kind, as would make Job himself swear like a Virginia colonel. Is it pos- sible that the celebrated Miss F s, a lady who has had every human and divine advantage, who has read (or at least might have read) in the originals the New and Old Testaments (though I am afraid she too sel- dom looks even into the translations) I say is it pos- sible that Miss F- s with every human and divine advantage, who might and ought to have read these two good books, which (an old Welsh nurse, whose •uncle was a preacher in Merioneth-shire, assured me) enjoins charity, and denounces vengeance against slander and evil speaking ; is it possible, I again re- peat it, that Miss F s should, in the face of the day, carry her malignity so far, in the presence of three most respectable personages (one, of the oldest religion in the world ; one, of the newest, for he is a new light-man ; and the other, most probably, of no religion at all, as he is an English sailor) ; but I demand it again and again, is it possible that Miss F s should assert it in the presence of these res- pectable personages, that, I wore green breeches patched with leather ? To convict you, therefore, of the falshood of this most diabolical slander ; to put you to eternal silence (if you are not past all grace) ctnd to cover you with a much larger patch of infamy, than you have wantonly endeavoured to fix on my breeches, I have thought proper, by the advice of three very grave friends (lawyers, and members of Congress, of course excellent judges in delicate points of honour) to send you the said breeches, and, with the consciousness of truth on n^y side, to submit them to the niQst severe inspection and scrutiny of you an^ » Charles XIT. Gazette Publications, 171 J\1I those who may have entered into this Vvicked ca- bal against ray honour and reputation. I say, I dare you, and your whole junto, to your worst, — turn them, examine them, inside and outside, and if you find them to be green breeches patched with leather, and not actually legitimate Sherryvallies*, such as his Majesty of Poland wears (who, let me tell you, is a man that has made more fashions, than all your knights of the Meschianza put together, notwith- standing their beauties). I repeat it, (though I am almost out of breath with repetitions and parenthesis) that if these are proved to be patched green breeches, Ejid not real legitimate Sherrj'vallies (which a man of the first <^ow ton might be proud of ) I will submit in silence to all the scurrility, which I have no doubt you and your abettors are prepared to pour out against me, in the public papers, on this important and in- teresting occasion. IBut, Madam, Madam, reputa- tion (as Common Sense very sensibly, though not ve- ry uncommonly observes) is a serious thing ; you have already injured me in the tenderest part, and I demand satisfaction ; and as you cannot be ignorant of the laws of duelling, having conversed with so ma- ny Irish Officers (whose favourite topic it is, particu- larly in the company of ladies) I insist on the privi- lege of the injured party, which is to name his hour and weapons ; and as I intend it to be a very serious affair, I will not admit of any seconds ; and you may depend upon it. Miss F s, that whatever may be your spirit on the occasion, the world shall never ac- cuse General L — , with having turned his back upon you. In the mean time, I am. Sec. P. S. I have communicated the affair only to my confidential friend , who has mentioned it to no * A kind of long breeches reac/nng to the ancle^ with a broad strifie of leather on the inside of the thigh, fcr the conveniency of' riding'. 172 Gazette Publications, more than seven members of Congress, and nineteen. "Women, six of whom are old maids ; so that there is no danger of its taking wind on my side, and I hope you will be equally guarded on your part. Publication of General Lee in the Pennsyl- vania Advertiser, of April 1779, THE impertinence and stupidity of the compiler of that wretched performance, with the pompous ti- tle of The Magazine of the United States, have, I find, been the means of my silly, but certainly harmless letter to Miss Franks, being introduced into the New- York papers, and, I am told, of giving much unnea- siness to that amiable young lady, for whose charac- ter, in every respect, I have the highest regard. If the consequence of this foolish trash had been only making a noise in this town, (which is not an Athens) I should not have troubled the public on the subject ; but as I perceive it is extended much farther, gives every day fresh uneasiness to the lady ; and as my motive^ for writing it have been misinterpreted by the malicious, and misunderstood by the blockheads ; to undeceive the public, I must entreat that you will in- sert in your paper the inclosed copy of a letter which I wrote to the lady, on being informed that she was both offended and distressed by my jest, the intcntisn cf which was merely to make her, and a few of her acquaintance, laugh for a moment, and then to throw it into the fire. It is indeed much to be lamented, that the compiler of the JMagazine of the United States, should after six months hard labour, not be able to squeeze out of his brain sufficient matter for his conji Gazette Pub!icatio?is, 173 d^ essai, even with the aid of his heavenly muse, with- out having recourse to such wretched stuff as my let- tar to Miss Franks ; but wretched as it was, the com- piler of the Magazine, fi^om want of comprehension and faulty punctuation, has rendered it ten times worse — the only parts which had any pretension to humour are, by passing through his hands, become the most insipid of the wliole. I shall give one in- stance of it,— the original ran thus, / shail rtpeaty (although^ in spite of thdr beauties, 1 am almost out of breath with refietitions and parenthesis) but I shall repeat — The raillery here intended is against my own manner of writing, which has been deservedly laugh- ed at for repetitions and parenthesis, by several who have taken the trouble to read my publications. But the Magazine-writer transfers these beauties, viz. of repetitions and parenthesis to the poor knights of the meschianza, whose beauties were never once thought of. The postscript he has mangled still more horribly; the chief sarcasm it contained was levelled against the gentleman who, without leave had tak^n a copy, and read it wherever he v/ent. It ran thus— /n all affairs of honour, as you must know, it is a rzile to ob- serve the strictest silence, until the matter is brought to an issue. I have myself been extremely cautious^ having only communicated it to my trusty and confden" tial friend Dr. — >, who has acted with all the prudence that could be expected from hi^n, for he has only re- vealed is to nine members of Congress (no more than four of whom were lawyers, and to seventeen ladies, no more than five ofnvhom were old maids} so that there can be no appirehensicn of the afTair'o taking wind as far as depends on me, and I hope ycu will be er/ualli/ guards ed. Now, though the wit of this postscript is at best- miserable enough, God knows, it certainly is not de- serving of its present unhappy destiny, which is, by a single omission of the Magazine compiler, to be 'iUaliiicid to keep company with Vanhest's cave, tl^e P 2 174 Gazette Piibltcations. damnable trash imputed to poor General Moultrie, and, what is still more degrading, with his own dam- nable verses, which, if a Christmas bell-man was to sing under our windows, we should certainly throAV something on his head. The following also apeeared in the Adver- tiser OF THAT DATE AS THE APOLOGY WHICH HAD BEEN SENT TO THE LaDY. Philadelphia, January 28, 1779. Madam-, NOTHING has happened to me of late that has^ given me more concern than the serious light in which, I am told, you are persuaded to consider the - harmless, jocular letter I wrote to you ; I say per- suaded to consider, because on the first receipt of it, , when you were cUrected by your own excellent under- standing alone, you conceived it, as it was meant, an innocent ji(?w d^ esfirit. I do not mean to compliment' when I assure you, upon my honour, that it was the good opinion I had of your understanding which en- couraged me to indulge myself in this piece of rail- • lery, which, in effect, is not in the least directed against you, but against miyself and a few others. If ■■ it contains any satire, you are obviously the vehicle, not the object. My acquaintance \nth you is too slen- der to admit of my taking any liberties winch border-, on familiarity ; and unless I had been taught to be- lieve that the liberaUty of your mind and chearfulness of disposition were such that you would be pleasedv with any effort to make you laugh for a moment in these times, I declare, upon the word of an honest man, that I would s^ooner haAe put my hand into the fire than have written it. Thai^k God, I have not Gazette Publications, 175 that petulant itch for scribbling, or vain ambition cf passing for a wit, as to Give virtue scandal, innocence a fear, Or from the soft-eyed virgin steal a tear. Weak, corrupt, or tyrannical administrators of the public affairs ; ignorant, blundering, and conceited Generals, are undoubtedly the fair game of every wri- ter in a free community ; but in justice to myself, I can venture to assert, that there does not exist a mor- . tal who holds in greater abhorrence than I do, the ca- lumniators of individuals, and disturbers of the peace of private families ; but those who wantonly wound the tranquillity of persons of your sex, I consider as the most detestable of the whole infernal species. In this point I push my. Quixotism so far, that for in- stance I should think myself morally obliged, (if the scoundrel could be discovered) to cane through the public streets the author of that infamous ribaldry, v/hich he is pleased to call characters, wherein so many respectable ladies are basely and cov/ardly tra- duced ; indeed, I tliink a whip should be put into every honest mans hand to lash the rascal through the world. There is one consolation, however, which is, that his stupidity, if possible, surpasses his maligni- ty. With respect to my harmless letter (for so I thought it) I once more beg leave to repeat, I had not the most distant idea that it could have been so grossly misunderstood, or that you couid have been in any measure considered as the object of the satire (such as it is) but merely as the vehicle. I entreat therefore, that you will divest yourself of the opinion (if ever you entertained it) that it was my wish to give you a single uneasy moment ; but that my sole view was to afford matter of a little temporary mirth to you and the ladies who form your circle. I have spun out this dull letter to a greater length than I intend- ed, and hope that its dulness will be attributed to its proper cause, the sensibility (which upon my honour 176 Gnzette Publications, is not affected) of having been unwarily the cause ol giving pain to a young lady, for whose good qualities and character no man has a liigher respect and regard, than has, Madam, Your most obedient, humble servant, CHARLES L£E. P, S. I have just now had a sight in Mr. Riving- ton's Gazett^, of Miss Franks's pretended answer to my letter. — I declare solemnly, that Miss Franks ne- ver did M'rite, nor can any body who is acquainted with that young lady think her capable of writing, a single syllable of such abominable Grub-street. It is probably the production of some gaping expectant for an office, who has absurdly flattered himself that he should recommend himself to his Excellency by any scurrility on me. A scoundrel of this species was lately detected at this dirty work in the Jerseys, and the fruits of his lalx>urs have been a most horrible fright, a precipitate flight from the horse-whip of one of my Aid-de-camps, the contempt of the whole ar- my, of Viis own townsmen, and of General Washing- ton's family, to whom he thought he had been pay- ing his court. How it should happen that so respect- able a name as Mr. Cyrus Griffin's should be put to this forgery, it is difficult to conceive ; for even if that gentleman had not given his honour that he had no coiicern in it, no man would believe it possible that he should, as the composer must be not only a very great rascal, but evidently a consummate fool, and I have never heard either Mr. Griffin's part or inte- grity called h\ q\iestion. i Gazette Publications* 177 THE Cave of Vanhest is too long to be extract** ed ; but the Verses to which the General alludea in 11 1. Magazine are the following. Genethlicon* of the United Status Maga- ZINE. CHILD of truth and fancy bomy Rising like the beam of morn ; From that shadowy silent place> Where the ideal shades embrace^ Forms that yet in embryo lie ; Forms of inactivity. Let me hail thee to the day, With thy natal honours gay. Thoa art come to visit scenes Of Italian bowers and greens. Hear in wild wood notes with me, V/hat the world prepares for thee. Statesmen of assembly great ; Soldiers that on danger wait ; Farmers that subdue the plain ; Merchants that attempt the main ; Tradesmen v/ho their labours ply : These shall court thy company ; » Blrthnlay Ode, 178 Gazette Ptiblications, These shall say, with placid mien, Have you read the Magazine ? Maids of virgin-beauty fair ; Widows gay and debonnair ; Matrons of a graver age ; Wives whom houshold cares engage ; These shall hear of thee and learn, To esteem thee more than Sterne ; These shall say when thou art seen. Oh I enchanting 3iagazin€. Maids and men shall both agree^ To present their gifts to thee j Lyric odes and rural lays ; Thoughts of fire and words of praise ; Noble strains and reasonings high, Of divine philosophy. These thy gifts the circle gay, Bringing oft to thee shall say, (Gazing on thy stars thirteen*) This is for the Magazine. Gifts shall come to thee from far, And from lands that nearer are ; From the navigable flow, Of the Schuylkill stream belov/ ; From each plain and shady grove, Wash'd by the Delaware above ; From the Hudson river's side ; Or Potomaque spreading wide ; * Seethe THumjihal Arch^—^Frontispicr' f Gazette PubUcations* 179 From more distant streams that run, To the east, or setting sun. Yes ; the bard and sage unborn, Shall thy beauteous breast adorn. With the fairest choicest flowers That the God of genius pours From the warm enraptur'd mind, Rich with sense, and fancy join'd. Rais'd by these the noble name. Shall ascend in future fame ; In perpetual verdure live, And the rage of years survive. \ Reply to General Lee, by the compiler of THE Magazine. April 1779. Sir, \ THE chef d'xuvre of your capacity which has been so long on the way, has at length come to hand. The space of two months has elapsed since it was an- nounced to me, -that General Lee was preparing a sublimate of so corrosive and searching a quality, that like the drops of aqua-fortis, it would burn up whate- ver was touched by it. I gave it as my opinion to the authors of the information, that if it did not leave an odour like the perfusion of a certains pecies of the cat, (not the civet) well known to naturalists, it would be, in every other respect, perfectly innoxious. You have been two months in drawing up your publication, and if this is a less time than that in which I have been engaged in establishing a corres- 1 180 Gazette Pttblicatio7is, pondence and collecting materials for the United States Magazine, it is to be attiibuted to the great fa- cility with which you write, a gift which is not com- mon to every one. The first part of your fabrication you had got through six weeks ago, for it is at least that time since I have heard of your hawking it about the streets, and shewing it to hostlers and oyster-men, and which is undoubtedly commendable ; for it be- hoves a man to take the opinion of his friends, and make the best use of all criticisms and observations on his work, before he ventures to lay it before the public. Nevertheless, I do not think it equally ad- viseable to admit every one of these people to foist in a paragraph of their oAvn, as seems to have been the case with this composition ; for, certainly, the figure of the bell'man^ and yourself throiving something from ihe ivindoiv on his head^ can be of no other original. At length, with all its corrections and amendments, it has appeared in the Advertiser, and tlie world must allow that it has considerable merit. Yet, when we bring into view that you have been two months about it, and that in the mean time you have dra'VATi twelve rations a day, and have had the pay of a Major-Gene- ral, the performance, however excellent, will hardly •appear to be worth the expence of it. In the entrance of the work you take the liberty to inveigh against the United States Magazine, a publication which from the beginning, I had apprehended would not be pleasing to you. The list of the members of Congress which it contains in the first page of it, must be to. you what a list of the angels in paradise would have, been to Lucifer after he had been precipitated head-,- long. Moreover, that portion of whiggism pretty largely interspersed in it, must have operated on youp. olfactory nerves like the smell of a burnt fish to To- bit*s devil, or the application of certain herbs, as the hunters inform us, to the nose of a rattle-snake. The ostensible reason of your dislike to the Ma- gazine is, that it has become the repository cf a let- Gazette Publications, 181 ter to the amiable Miss Franks, and that, as yon would insinuate, it has been the vehicle of this letter to the British at New- York. I cannot believe it; forthe United States Magazine will be avoided by those people for the same reason that it is avoided by you, and it is very unlikely that it has been yet seen amongst them. It is more probable that the letter has been contrived to them by yourself : and indeed, we can have little doubt on this head, if we recollect that about the time it first appeared in this city, you made a trip to the Jersies*, and as some suppose, for the express purpose of more easily transmitting it. At any rate, your cor- respondence appears to be so regular with Rivingtoii^ from v/hom you receive the Gazettes^ that it could have been no matter of difficulty for you to have sent at any time, your jeu d* esfirit to that gentleman ; and from the archness of your sneer at this city, which, is not an Athens^ we may easily collect that it could by no means have contented you to have had it con- fined to its envkons, when with a little trouble, you might have enjoyed the sublime pleasure of hearing of its arrival at New -York, drawing the attention of many young ladies as chearful and as sprightly as Miss Franks. It is uncandid in you. General Lee, now that you have taken so much pains to have the thing made public, to disapprove of it, especially as you had contrived to have it circulated through this town, before any publisher of papers was so good natured as to admit it to the press. That you were once fond of it, whatever you may now pretend to say, is indu- bitable from the frequency of your rehearsing it ; and once particularly in the company of two or three French gentlemen, where you gave some broad hints, that it were not amiss if it was translated into their language, and sent to the Academic Roy ale des In- ^criptions et Belles Lettres^ as a niorceaic of literary * It will not be supposed there was any thing serious in this. Q 182 Gazette Publications, merit. You now affect to call it silly, and in ti'uth, there are many persons who have thought it so : Ne- vertheless, Sir, we value it ver).' liighly, as in the mu- ceum of a college, we value scuil-pieces, fish-heads, and jaw -teeth, not because of their excellence, but be- cause of the animals from which the virtuoso has ex- tracted them. In oratory it is not always the real merit, but the singularity or some other characteristic of the holder-forth, that strikes the attention of the multitude. When an Ourang Outang in the reign of George I. was brought from the woods of Hanover to England, and was said to have uttered some un- couth sounds, the philosophers of that day came from all quarters to examine nature, and to hear how the wild man would express himself : For, Sir, though you may affect to call yourself of the human species, yet let me tell you, that when we consider the currish- nes8 of your humour, and attachment to a certain spe- cies of the quadruped, we cannot strain our complain sance so far as to be of that opinion with you. I shall not undertake to say whether as to genus you belong to the mammalia, am.phibia, insecta, or vermes of animals ; or are fera, glis, pecus, or bellua, but shall . leave it to the Philosophical Society of this city, who, I believe, have it now before them, and will shortly give it the public with a proper plate and description, in the first publication of transactions ; or perhaps sooner, through the channel of the United States Magazine. This town is not an Athens ; nor are you. Sir, a Di- ogenes ; for though from the derivation of the word you might be called a cynic, and draw some resem* blance from your living in a dog-kennel, a place almost as closely circumscribed as a tub, yet you have so lit* tie pretence to philosophy, that you can never be rank- ed with that ancient. It is to be lamented that the copy of your letteF handed to us, did not happen to be the most correct one : But, Sir, it is the case with Homer (wliich I acknov/ledge is a less valuable work) that from the Gazette Publications, 183 <5arelessness of transcribers, and the officionsness of 'Critics, the text has been in some places mutilated, •find in others intevpolated : V/itho\it doubt the like 'ittccidents may have befallen, and the like libenicr. jiay have been taken ^vith your composition, in the course of its progress through the hands of the learn- ed to that most ingenious young gentleman, your trusty and confidcraial friend Dr. C , from whom ■we received it. If you could spare half a month to revise it, and to superintend a second edition of it, with the spelling and fw.nctuatmn agreeable to your •fancy, it would be a truly valuable deposit with the world, and would most assuredly convey your fame to immortality. The words heavenly rniise and verses recal to my memory a circumstance of your shewing me, some •time ago, a poetical performance of about a score of lines, which you assured me you had written with •the assistance of no more than one person ; and this which liad been published in England, and was bound up with a song of Tristram Shandy's, you seemed to Klnt to nie might do to be republished in the Maga- ' zine ; and indeed, Sir, you must excuse me if I at- tribute to my not complying with your expectation, your outrageous invectives against those more favour- ed pieces which have been admitted into this reposi- tory. Your invective, hov/ever, I have the pleasure to inform you, has not given the least offence to those interested in the success of the publication ; for they count it an honour to be ranked by you as an object of invective with those whom you represent as v^cak^ corrufit^ and tyrannical administrators offiiiblic affaivfj. — the Congress ; or with ignorant^ blundering^ and conceited Generals — the American Brigadiers, Major- (ienerals, and his Excellency the Commander iii Chief at the head of them. A second letter to Miss Franks, which is of the apologetic kind, makes the body of your late work in the Advertiser. This letter is entire, we may sup- poscj and the Jj una uanon is your own, as it has been 184 Gazette Fublicatmis, printed under your direction ; yet with all these ad- vantages in the circumstance of birth, there are some ill natured persons who think it not equal to the for- mer. In your own judgment it has manifestly the preference ; for the first was^ silly and foolish trasky and ivretched stuff, miserable enough, Gcd knoivs ; though, by the bye, there was no necessity of appeal- ing to Omniscience in the case ; but this is produced as something better to atone for it, and to relieve your literary reputation from the obloquy under which it may have laboured. It is among the first of your declarations in tiiis letter to Miss Franks, that you had not tlie least in- tention of offending her, but only of acting the play- er on the bagpipe for a while, to make sport for her and the ladies who form her circle. The wags have observed, that it is high enough to see a General who wears a commission second in command on the con- tinent, degrade himself to the office of making /?«.5- i-ime for Miss Franks. It is matter of surpsize to you, that the lady could be persuaded to take offence at your harmless epistle. It would be matter of surprize to every one else, if a lady of delicacy and tolerable understanding would not have been offended. If she had considered it in the light in which you intended it, as a piece of ill-na- ture, of which she was to become the vehicle, she must certainly have thought it at least impertinent : And, if she had considered it as a kind o^ jocular love letter, accompanied with the rather gross emblem of the Shcrryvallies, in the manner, though not the taste of an Asiatic, who presents a jonquil for his" biliet doux, she must have equally resented it as an iiisult upon her character. In the opinion of most persons. Miss Franks has done herself credit by treat- ing you and your proposed correspondence with con- lemptw You tell Miss Franks, that you have not the vain ambition 0/ passing for a tvit. You have had it Ion«; Gazette Publications. 185 enough ; and it was high time, in all conscience, to dismiss it. You have made many laiulable .attempts, -in the course of your life, to gain the height of this excellence, sallying on from pun, and witticism, and publication ; stretching and clambering like a wasp upon a wall, but still falling down again. But a man may be sensible that he is not able to array himself in the brilliancy of wit, and yet he may entertain some hope of acquiring lasting honour in the serious and moral way of writing. You deny that you writ those characters^ that were handed about the streets of this city last winter ; but it is A^ery common with yovir great geniuses and bright wits, when any one of them throws out ?LJeu (T esjirit^ not to care all at once to be known for the author ; but the world, in spite of your modesty, do you justice with regard to this little matter, for they all see that it is perfectly in your stile and manner. You talk offtus/iing ijoivr Quixotism^ and would in- duce a comparison with the hero of Cervantes : But though in point of outlandishness you may have ex- otism ; in point of dullness chaotism ; and in point of self-deception Quixotism^ reckoning yourself, as you seem to do, an exotic, chaotic, and quixotic ad- venturer ; yet, as with all the fooleries, knight-er- rantries, and oddities of the knight of La Mancha, you are not possessed of his good nature, it becomes a prostitution of parallels to place yourself on a page with him. Your dullness you hav€ attributed to ycur sensibility ; but, that, dulness can be the effect of sensibility, or stupidity in the head arise from fine feelings in the heart, is certainly a new philosophy. In this postscripJ addressed to the public, you de- clare solemnly; but it is to us a problem what solemni- ty there can be in your mind, or what awe of a supe- reior Being you can have upon your spirits, who are neither Christian, Jew, Turk, nor Infidel, biitame- temsychosist. You have been heard to sav, that you Q 2 186 Gazette Puhlicatiom* expect when you die to transmigrate to a Siberian fox* dox, and be messmate to Spado*. As to that I do not know what to say ; but if, as some divines, from an expression of St. Paul seem to think, there will, at the general resurrection, be also a resuscitation of quadrupeds, it is more than probable you -will come amongst them. In your letter to Miss Franks I take notice of your frequent adjuration ujion your honour. The choice of the word Aowc/z^r was judicious, as you have not the semblance of any other grace or virtue to take an oath upon. You could not swear by your faith^ mo- rality, liberality, philanthropy, or patriotism : and the word honour is of a signification indeterminate, and may mean either a sense of right and wrong in yourself, or your place of estimation amongst others; and though you have neither honoit)- nor desert of it in yourself, yet if amongst those with whom you as- sociate, there is one who unrighteously entertains a respect for you, you might save your conscience, if you had one, and sv/ear upon your honour. With regard to another term, ov per quod oi^yowv asseveration, honsst man, I have to say, that from many parts of your conduct, your political honesty has become problematical ; but be this as it may, the word 7nan is certainly exceptionable ; for with all my partiality in your favour, I cannot believe that you are of the human species. Nor am I the only person in America, or elsewhere, who have taken you for a ivlld animal. Nay, so far has this opinion become popular, that som.e persons -^f this city, who have more leisure than money on their hands, hare seriously thought of putting you in a wagon, and carrying you about the country for a shew ; and indeed were it not for the depreciation of the currency, I believe they might live by it. The young men have applied to me to have my opinion, whether the Congress, * The General's do^. Gazette Publications, 187 ^vho might stili have some farther occasion for your crvices, might not take it amiss to be robbed of you ;i this maimer. I told them, no : the Congress had turned you outside and inside^ and tried you and ex- ammed you like a pair of Sherrijvalies, and found you such an insignificant, capricious, and fluctuating weazel, that unless they wanted such creature, I did not see what they could make of you. Several per- sons have suggested to me that I ought to defend ]Txyself against your attack upon the literary reputa- tion of that small accmmt of Vanhest^s Cave^ continu- ed in the Magazine ; but with regard to this matter, I shall wait the enquiries of the Philosophical Society of this city respecting you ; for I should iook foolish to have it said, that I had very gravely entered into a debate about the excellency of composition, with one who bad been afterwards proved to be a beast. I am, Sir, The Comfiiler of the United States Magazine, P. S. Your military and political reputation will be more directly considered in my next. AFTER the conclusion of the war which termi- nated the revolution of 1776, an association under the name of T/ie Society of the Cincinnati^ was projected by the officers of the American army, which was thought to savour of an order of Chivalry, and might lead to titles of nobility ; and for this reason, gave of- fence to the republican mind of the new States. It was attacked by reason and argument, and the insti- tution modified considerably from what was at first proposed. The following, in a vein cf pleasantry was thrown out on the occasion. £88" Ga::€tte Publication^, CINCINNATUS: A POEM. WHAT time the States had settled peace With adversaries over seas, And troops disbanded, it seeni'd goddj- To institute a brotherhood, Among the chieftains of the war, Of Cincinnati character. Who now laid by their arms and came, To seek an agricultural fame^ On territory they had sav'd. For, as together they had brav'd, The toils of service, wish'd a tie. At least upon the memory; Of that companionship ; hence 'twas. The institution came to pass, Of a society and badge. At first it did provoke the rage, Of several of the citizens. As not republican ; and hence, When one of these in rambling gate; Came to a village of the state. With badge dependant at his bosom. It seem'd a singular rosy crozum, Gazette Publications, ISD And drew attention and surmise ; And every one that s^em'd more wise, Began discussion of th' affair. A certain pedagogue was there, Did first accost, and ask'd the rise-, And the intendment of device, And how he got it, when and where ; Effigies of a bird of the air, And other such interrogatories. The Cincinnat who heard the qnerie%. Ei^plain'd the history of the club, And effigy upon the bob ; Videlicet, that having fought, \nd put the adversar*s to trot, R€tir*d from v/ar like Cincinnatusv And were about to plant potatoes ; But first in memory of their warfare, And individuals did most care for. Had set up club and wore a badge. And what bird have you in the cage, Quoth pedagogue Ms it a goose. That you have chosen for your use ? Or a wild turkey or a swan ? This hurt tlie Cincinnati man- Quoth he, I will not say you mean, T' affront, and throw out with design^ This sarcasm on the badge we wear ;, But *tis an eagle of the air, And emblematical of power, As Imving dominion of the lower,. 190 Gazette Publicttmu. Fowls cf the stack-yard and the grove ; And hence become the bird of Jovc; And is device upon the badge, Which you and other fools with rage, Decry and vilify and abuse, As being -without sense or use ; Because your ignorance is such, You cannot comprehend it much, The meaning of the hieroglyphic, Or motto that is scientific, Devis'd by sholars that were good, And authors of similitude. Quoth pedagogue, I o^vn I saw It had a bird's tail and a claw j But never did so far encroach, To look distinctly on tlie broach Whether a grey goose or a drake, That seems to give himself a shake j But what resemblance does it bear To him of Roman character ; Who wore no brochet at his button ; Or a remarkable e scutch 'on ; But when had ended v/ar and battle ; Return'd t' his harrow and draught cattle. Without a goose-resembling bauble ; Or other bird or beast, could gabble, A word of Latin or of Greek. But what the phrase it seems to spec k ? Relinquit omnia, servare Rempublicam j But quere, Gazette Fubllcatkiis. 191 Had this same Roman much to leave ? Or, would he not have laugh'd in's sleeve, I' have had these words applied to him ? And you that are of modern time, \Vere in the same predicament, Ilcfore you to the warfare went. Jo that the point is not in this, From whence the eulogy takes rise, The having left an ox or two. Or an old horse with which did plow ; But your returning to your place. When armies had been sent to grass ; So that 'twere better you had made it, Nunc victor ad aratrum redit : Or some intelligible phrase, rhat would bespeak the proper praise, ,\'hich really did belong to such, *.s not ambitious overmuch, .leturn'd from victory and war, To till their ground, and take the care, Of stock upon their farms ; but wore. Ko other ensign than before, V\'ith barbarous Latin such as tliis, Vssum'd for the diagnosis. To him a certain clergyman. Did take upon him to explain, The meaning of the badge and u?e, Drawn from the hist'ry of the Jews .; Said, he was an idolater, That from the eastern climes came there 192 Gazette Publications, With native sparrow at his breast ; Or what else bird it was express'd ; -Egyptian ibis or a stork, That did among the sedges Kirk, In face of dictate that was given, By decalogue the law of heaven, Inhibiting the worshipping, Of graven bird or beast or thing ; Or that he was a great magician. And dangerous on tliis occasion ; I'or had a trinket of his own, And abracadabra writ thereon. With some infernal spell or force. Above a common Christian's powers. The Cincinnat enrag'd to hear Attack upon his character, Address'd him to the populace, Which were assembled at the place. Quoth he, though no great orator Experience being more in war, Yet sense of injury and wrong, May give me exercise of tongue ; Enable me to tell my tale In way, perhaps, acceptable j Especially as candour hears, As is evinc'd by your drop'd ears. For well aware that public lies, Insinuation and surmise, Have got the start of me, I feard, I would not be with candour heard. Gazette Ptiblicatmis . 193 It seems the thing has gone abroad, That I have image of false god, Hung at my breast ; ihe ^^^y Of bird, or beast, or fish or fly ; Which idol grav'd in bit of gold, J Like the idolaters of old, \ I worship, and put up a prayer ; Tho' but a wild fowl of the air. J Theologists have given rise, To this religious prejudice, As natural to every mind, To breed according to its kind ; But nothing more dissimilar, r Than that a soldier in the war, Should worship God at all, or beast, In effigy or shape express'd ,; For seldom worship the true God, Save when some danger comes the road-; Unless the swearing by the Lord, Or zounds or zuks, or some such word, May be accounted reverence, Express'd to the Omnipotence ; And therefore much less probable T' adore the visual beak or bill Of this small eaglet that I wear. As to idolatry am clear ; For though know nothing more about^ Religions that are set on foot Than a grey goose ; yet catholic, Let all men worship till they're sick ; R 194 Gazette Publications. Nor interfere \vith church or psalm, But be plain soldier as I am. You that compose my audience. Are persons of superior sense, And can with others set that right Misrepresented by this \vight, And save my hard earn*d character, And the good name I wish to bear. There was a citizen just by, Attentive to the apology. Quoth he ; it may not be the shape Of bird or beast at which you gape, For sake of reverence or prayer ; But to distinguish what you are ; The only champions of the cause ; It being not the truth ; whereas Are many others tliat have fought. And taken the Hessian by the throat, And may deserve more solid praise, Than wearing that small thing of brass, Unworthy even of you that chuse, To have the ensign of the goose. Is't not ridiculous that one, Who in the service has been known, As champion of a sober cause, Which with it such advantage draws To the republicks of this clime, Should turn his thoughts to such a whim As savours of a ruder age, When every light-head wore a badge ; Gazette Piihlicatiom, 195 And is no trophy or a spoil The warrior earn'd, upon the soil. But arbitrary honour made, By some one of the brazier trade ; And is no special proof of worth ; There are so many to hold forth. Pretension to the same device ? For the peculiar honour liea, In being distinguish'd in desert. Are you the only that have mer't. In revolution brought about ? Or are there not amongst the croud. Some others that have just pretence ; If not with sword, at least with brains, To patriotism in the cause ? If not with arms they have with jaws In councils of the several states, Or by their writings in Gazettes, Rebuff' d the British power and force And militated with discourse ; And many who have spoke and vrrotc, Have also on occasion fought. And there are victims of the cause, By operation of the laws ; In favour of the general good. What think you of the multitude, Reduc'd by fluctuating paper, Estates vanishing like vapour, And brought to beggary and loss ? For take the people in the gross ; 196 Gazette JPiihlication3. And all have suffered more or less ; And so may claim by services, At least a bit of lead or pewter, As their deservings are minuter, And institute a club or so, For what they did against the foe, In their particular grades and places i So that the multitude increases, To an infinity of badges ; The honorary rights and wages, Of the whole bulk of citizens. In this there might be share of sense, But the Cincinnat replied, As having more reason on his side. Quoth he, it is a small affair, If at the period of the war. We instituted this our club. To recreate us after rub. And wear a badge which some arraign As visionary toy, and vain ; But is't not fancy that supplies, One half of things which are our choice ; And all beyond the dress and food, Is but imaginary good ? The cut, the colour of the garb Distinguishing the Jew from Ar*b ; And all kinds of appendages. Of different tribes and nations dress Have their foundation in caprice ; Not from necessity take rise. Gazette Publications, 197 The savages that are untaught Do wear their honours at the snout j And nature sanctions the pursuit ' By giving feathers to the brute. The badge we wear is not a charna Of Physical or moral harm ; But forcibly doth operate. And in the human mind create A love of fame and dignity, By having this before the eye j As, in the British isle, a Star And Garter, is reward of war ; And the St. Louis cross in France ; In other places like advance : It is a small thing if from toil, Of summers sun and winters soil. Deficient in the stipend due. We wear a thing distinct from ycU; A trifling signet of oUr own, Which scarcely costs us half a crowri. Is there a law against the usage, Proscribing it as a surplusage ; So that a Vv'rit of capias corp", Can have the virtue to disturb ? If there is neither rule of nature, Or jurisprudence that can deter, And hinder us, why not go on. On the same principle begun ? For though not great the excellence, Yet have there not been men of sense, R % 198 Gazette Publications. Among the Romans aixl the Greeks, That wore such things about their necks A bull or button at the breast ; And yet the thing not made a jest. By persons that have talk'd like you ? Quoth citizen, it may be true ; And also in the modern days, There have been found out many ways,. To tickle fancies of the fools. There scarcely is a king but gulls, His courtiers with appendages, (At least when he is moneyless) Proud of a feather that is red. Or blue, because they take't in head, It does them honour with the prince ^ But here behoves us to have sense. And real merit of our own. And not a mark to make it known, Hung up like sign at tavern door, Or barber's pole your nose before, Evincing that there is within. You could not otherv/'ise divine. Besides, why do you quote the Greeks, Or Romans that had like dogs tricks ? There is a difference in the case ; For there, the people's suffrages, Bestow'd the honour that was worn ; But here it would not serve your turn^ But you yourselves assum'd device. Quoth Cincinnat, the error lies Gazette Publications . 199 In this ; we took it up ; but yet, It may be said the gift of the state, Because the honour was our right, And by deserving we carae by't. Be that as'^t may the thing is safe, x\nd well befitting to the brave ; And innocent in name and nature ; Nor works a harm to single creature, T^ offend a layman or divine. At this the clergyman hark'd in Quoth he, have said, and say it again The thing is heathenish ana vain, And wearer an idolater^ Of whom there is just cause to fear, Is some false prophet come to light As is laid down in sacred writ, That fell deceivers would arise, In the last days to blind our eyes, And draw us from the truth we hold ., For as to that same bit of gold, What use ? unless symbolical, Of something bad and magical, With rhyme that is engrav'd thereon 1 If the mythology was known. It might be found it v/as that gojj,— And magog that has lain incog, So long in the apocalypse j And now emerging from eclipse, Has risen in such shape to men. The Cincinnat to him again ; 200 Gazette PiLhllcations. Quoth he, it iW becomes a priest, To travel from his sphere, and jesr, J^bout this trinket that I wear ; Against it roaring like a bear, Who should be reasoning with the Jew, Wherever you can find a clue ; Or with the infidel, about, The devil's horn and cloven foot Is this the knowledge that you gather, From every old and long dead father, As Chrystostom or Polycarp, Who on a different string did harp ; Not medling with our institutions. Instead of prayers and absolutions, And teaching from the catechism, The origin of faith and schism ; Which is unnatural and absurd, Deserves to be chastised and cur'd ? For have you not an ample scope ; Or as we say, enough of rope, To vent your rage and crudities. Against the errors that arise. Of fools that are prepense to evil. And lay the fault upon the devil, As if he were a Jack o* lantern, In every whole and comer saunl'ring, Who never yet was o«t of hell. Or knew a single syllable. About the matter laid t* his charge. In piuplt Oi'vitjiy at large ? Gazette Publications* 201 Vst not enough to split your text : (Till every hearer's heart is vex*d) In forks and branches multiple, And firstlys, and so-forths at will, With heads and horns of Daniel's ram, That in the prophet's vision came j Or bring a sermon out of what Has scarce the semblance of a thought. By the reversion of the phrase ; Or cloathing pristine nakedness-, With commentaries of the brain, Which no man else can find therein ^ And have you not interminable, Career to run as fast as able, Through all the systems of the faith, And variations that it hath. Drawn from theology of schools, Or self-born of the preachers skulls, And built upon the abstract base ; Which was originally much less : For so extensive is the floodj Of knowledge that is bad or good, A man may souse therein and toss,- Just as in ocean would a goose. And find no shore or bottom out Of doctrines that are set on foot ? Where then necessity to stretch, Your legs upon us at a fetch. As if you had not room at home To canter on your hypodrt>me, 202 Gazette FiMcatiojis. But must inveigh against what is But a mere symbol and device, And has no moral turpitude ; Or meaning that is bad or good. And cannot give oifence to Mose&y Or hurt the decalogu's-proboscis, Or you that are conservators, Of all that in religion stirs. Theologist — The matter lies Just here ; the pagan deities, False gods in Egypt or elsewhere Did under some such shape appear ; And even we read amongst the Jews They fell sometimes to this abuse ; But chiefly worship'd calves and stocks ; For which were given them rebukes. But paganism worship'd fowls, Eagles and pigeons and vile owls, \Vhich you vrould imitate by this A sample of idolatries, And whoredom people did commit, And carnal sins in holy writ ; And hence were banish'd from the earth Which gave the several nations birth, Of Canaanites, and after them, The Philistines that errM the same ; , The Romans, Greeks, and other pagair^ That had their Ashtaroths, and Dagons And worship'd bulls, and goats and heifers j- And were your oracle belltvers : Gazette Publications, 203 Which brought the curse of God upon them : And hence it is that there is no man, Who sees affection that you have For that which workmen did engrave, • But fears a judgment for the sin, And wickedness that is therein ; Deserving every punishment. That on the guilty can be sent. The Cincinnat was very wroth, At matter and the manner lx)th. Of this retort ; nor could restrain Repulsive motions of his brain. And choler ; but essay'd to draw His hanger contrary to law And civil authority ; when one Of cooler judgment looking on /ho was a great Philosoper, Though yet had made but little stir, Put by the blow, and thus bespoke ; Quoth he, your hot-born rage revoke, Nor draw your sword upon the cloth. Because you are a little wroth ; And without reason or just cause. At what has been thrown out ; whereas, '5lt is a general allegation. And turns upon the whole profession Of club, which has so broad abase It easily bears it, in this case. And is not personal alone. To you on whom the thing is thrown ; 204 Gazette Publications, And vhen a number are to bear The ignominy of the affair, It is as nothing to the whole. Have you Don Quixotte in your skull, And yet not recollect the speech, He made t* a to^vn within his reach. Which had conceived offence, because His Sancho braying like an ass ; At which he was not any slouch ; Did seem to say they were just such ? He tells them that no word can strike Or hurt a body politic, Because the offence has no just base Of individual in the case. Are not the learn*d professions known To be a string to harp upon ? We say that lawyers are all rogues, And preacher, that he but humbugs ; And of physician, that he kills ; More than he cures, with his damn'd pills. And yet we have not on our backs. The whole of these like pedlars packs ;. For the physician, lawyer, priest. Laughs at the matter, as a jest. Why, then enrag'd, at any one. For obloquy, that he has thrown. Just for a theme of his discourse, To raise a laugh among the boors ? Do they who write your worst of satires, And ironies and all such matters, Gazette Publications* 205 Possess a temper worse than others, Drawn from the nature of their mothers ; Or just to shew their wit, at times. They scratch out paragraphs and rhymes j Attack the clergy, or the bar ; Or with Hypocrates make war ; Or chuse a country, or a town To be the subject of lampoon ; Who laugh and read the ridicule^ And only but a natural fool, Would take in head to fight or fence ; Or 'gainst the slander break his shins. But where there may be some just basej Of obloquy, in any case. It more behooves to bear, as here, Where though the matter may be clear. You have a right to wear what badge, You choose j yet, there are who ailed ge, It is a trespass to break heads ; For though the man is pleased who reads^ The history of atchievment, yet. Not him who feels the blow on*s pate. Unseasonable chivalry, Does not with modern times agree ; Where law takes place of ancient prowess, And puts a stop to the abuse. Nor troubles knights to knock down co^vs ; Or giants that have broke a house j So that it is imnecessary ; The cudgeling an adversary, S 206 Gazette PublicationSf Especially a clergyman, Who has his priviledge : again ; Inglorious to make war with such, Not having honour very much. Of victory, when it is obtain'd There was a corporal by, hot-brain-d Who had been in the war, and fought j But no bald eagle, yet had got ; Or was a partner of the club. Which military had set up ; And took it much amiss that those, Who equally had fac*d the foes. Unworthily, were left i* th' lurch, To stand the back side of the porch, And though, were also at the must'ring j Yet had not at the breast, or postern, A thing, significant of this— — For his part, he was wounded thrice, While that same officer that spoke, Had scarcely ever seen the smoke. But since he was so hot to fight, With Talmudist, no man of might. Had better turn to him a soldier, Would make his blood a little colder; And ease tdm of intemperate passion ; Because the parson had some reason, And others, to find fault, and blame, The Cincinnat that left no fame, To th* common soldier, and the serg'ant, But of your own accord, take charge on't ; Gazette Publications » 207 And wear this honour as your own, Appropriate to yourselves alone. Quoth Cincinnat ; an officer, Alone can have a right to wear, The emblem of the victory ; Because there must be low and high j And what is better born and bred, *Ti3 reasonable should bathe head. For what our nature makes the foot, Doth, in the inferior station, trot. As, in this very body of ours, Wo do not go, upon all fours ; So, it is reasonable, there should, Be a distinction of the brood ; And those who have but little s:ns3 And lower quality of brains, Should occupy a sphere beneath. Is not the officer the head ? When we gave orders you obey'd, So that 'tis proper ycu possess But the inferior grade and place ; And have no badge or institution. The corporal felt his pas sicn rusliing. — Quoth he, have just as good a right, As you, though thus you did come by't To take to ourselves and wear a badge. The Cincinnat in greater rage. Quoth he, forsooth, because you fought, Where battle was a little hot, 208 Gazette Publications. You claim the privilege with us, To be o* th' inside of the house, To have insignia at your breast I As well might an irrational beast, The horse that draws artillery gun, Or soldier had to ride upon. Put in for heraldry,, because. Has sometimes been where danger waa. What would you think to see a ribbon Or badge, hung at his tail, or hip-bone I A burlesque on your appetite, To have this matter made so light. Which were a proper ridicule When such a Teague O'Regan fool As you, would claim the establishment.. The corporal's anger which was pent Broke out.— -It was not proof of sense, Or other quality of brains, Quoth he, that fabricated one. An officer, and let alone. The other, that was just as good ; But Congress, that was in the mood j For, had a comrade, in my hut, That often made a common butt. Of those that were his officers. Who had as little sense as bears— And yet forsooth poor soldier Dick, May wish for honour, till he's sick^ And get no knob, or bit of ribbon, Hung at his bosom, or his hip-bone, Gazette Publications, 209 As many of the cod-heads have, Who did not shew themselves so brave, In any battle that was fought. At this, the Cincinnat, red hot, Drew out his hanger, to shed blood, And hev/ down corporal, as he stood ; Who forpiing front advanced his centre, As if he would the onset endure ; Hence thought it best, t' accost him firsts Before the matter came to th* worst. As Homer, when he wages battle, Between two of heroic cattle, He has a parley, and a speech, To know each other, which is which ,* And, of what origin, they were ; And, how the devil, they came there : Because, who knows, but they were cousins ? So should not cut each others weazons ; But, turn to other combatants : And even in the time of giants, And champions, throughout Christerfcdom, Before they, hand to hand, did come, And actual clashing of the swords, 'Twas not unusual to have words ; Though what was proper to be said. Have not at present in my head : But do, remember, very well, — What from our Cincinnatus fell. Quoth he, if, so preposterous, T' have also what they call a goose, S 2 210 Gazette Publications, Is your ambition, why not take, God's name ! and hang it at your neck 3 Or at your breech, or back, or bosom ; Or like a turkey-cock, at nose o' 'im ? Some wooden peg, or pe-vvter noggin, To wear it as you are a joging ; Or copper ball, or piece of metal Inferior, for the common cattle ; With something on it like a bird Or sign of poultry ; whence infer'd, That you have rob'd hen-roosts, you rogue Or stole a duck or drake incog ; When rations were a little scarce, This seem'd to make the thing a farce ; And a militia man just by, Who listen'd t' him attentively, Was angry, and began to frown, To see the soldier so run do^^Ti. Quoth he, though but' a common rat, I am, and you a Cincinnat. Great captain, that have spoke so loud^ In your haranguing to the croud ; And, though I know the soldier would ^Much rather have a fowl for food. And eat the wing or rib of goose. Than smell its picture at his nose ; I take a part in his defence, Because he speaks the better sense ; The undervaluing, you throw out Hits me, and others in the croudj Gazette Publications. 211 Who being but militia persons, Who in the war have made exertions Yet have no right to wear the badger- As indirectly you alledge, By title and the club assum'd.- — By this time common fame had drum'd The like ideas every where, Amongst the people that were there. With such exaggeration, as, Is natural in the like case ; Videlicet, that the prognatus Who then was there of Cincinnatus Had ridicul'd the common people ; As not of the state church or steeple j Calling them all scrubs and bodkins, And haberdashers, and such odd things z- How that they ran away at York, And left the regulars at the work : And fled at Germantown and broke, From those left busy in the smoke : At other places turn'd about. And scarcely ever shew'd their snout, Where there was danger, or hot fire. One of the colonels that was nigher, Became the spokesman of the rest ; And rage now boiling in his breast ; Quoth he, no doubt, %ve are but goats And scarce above the beast that trots, Compar'd with you, in what was done^ And services, you son of a gun -, 212 Gazette Publications, Tag-rag and bob-tail, doubtless, are Compar'd with vet'ran officer : Because we have not at our bosom That thing of yours, a rosy crozum ; Are not embellish'd with a broach, At head, or neck, or breast, or crotch j A Latin motto or an ensign, Our toils, or services evincing ; Being but a vulgar sort of whigs, That in the marches danc*d our jigs ; Nor help*d at Trenton to take Hessians: j Or fought like youj on such occasions j Or at the Cowpens, made good battle j And so are but a common cattle, And you alone sustain*d the cause. While we like bears at home suck'd paws ; And cannot now advance a claim. To hieroglyphic of your fame. Quoth Cincinnat, the charge is false, And of the nature of all tales. Which contradicted, shew by proof, Intrinsical, what they are of. What ? an American, by birth, Degrade the military worth. And lessen the deserv'd applause, Of my compatriots, in the cause. Of those who fought, in front, or flank^- In regular, or militia rank. My sentiments are the reverse ; And never had in vie.w t' asperse Gazette Publicattovs. 213 The signal honour you hare won. In order to advance my own. These words had reason, but his voice Was wholly buried in the noise ; And as the humour was with bat, And brick, t' attack the Cincinnat, His words could not restrain the mOb, Or check the violence of hubbub. For when a multitude convenes To carry on some hot designs, ' They must do something, or seem slack, Of skill and courage, for the attack. So rushing discompos*d, the throng, Brought violence, and blows along : Here one uprais'd a ponderous stone 5 Another got a dead horse bone ; Elsewhere, was seen, a block of wood, Portending to the knight no good ; And all around, the face of war Appear*d, just gathering, in the air. Now, shall we here describe a battle, And if they encounter him at all, Say, shall he wage an equal fight ; And wound whole ranks, and kill outright^ Like vaProus Hector, at the siege, Of Troy, compose a perfect bridge, Of bodies, upon which to tread, And swell the rivers with the dead ; Or mow a whole battalion down, likcAiax, son of Telaraon ; 214 Gazette Publications* Construct a rampart of the slam ; And strew with carcases the plain ? Or shall I bid him jump among, The individuals of the throng ; Like Alexander when half crazy He leapt among the Oxydracaa ? Or represent him as expert, The various wiles of war 1' exert ; Now giving way, and now advance, To spit a parcel on his lance ? Shall I describe a various fray, And change the fortune of th« day ; Now on the verge of a defeat ; And now, in turn, advantage get ; One while broke down, like very stubble \ Now rise, and give the foe more trouble ? What wounds shall specify ; what heart. Oppress with javehn or dart ? What names relate, and characters Of those who rag*d this day like bears ? I wave the arduous task of thii ; Because narration would be lies ; For, just the naked truth expressed, In history, is always best. Hence shall relate what came to pass ; And how the issue really was ; Videlicet — but here again, I feel the rushing epic vein, To bring Minerva, from the clouds, Down sliding through aerial shrouds ; Gazette Publications. 215 To make her vet'ran champion wise, And teach him that no honor lies In waging battle, where the chance, Of war, between the combatants, Is so unequal, as this was ; For, had no head^piece, made of brass, *' Or iron, adamant, or wood ; And leHiim do the best he could ; Yet still, the number, and the weight. Of blows, that must assail the pate. Would overpower his best defence. Arid wound him, or knock out his brains, *Twas no Minerva, or a God, From dome celestial, or abode. But, his ovm reason, play'd the part. And put discretion in his heart. For, seeing that the wild misrule. Of mob, as raging to the full. As pedlars at an Ulster fair. With their shilelahs, svning in air. Left him no hope of victory. He thought the best way was to fly ; And without waiting for the blows. He turn*d the corner of a house ; Escaping from the rioters : As when a morning shadow stirs. And hides itself behind a wood. Before the. sun that would suck blood, Pursuing, with his rising heat. The thing that is not adequate, 216 Gazette Publications, To give him battle, and Avithstand The numerous beams he has at hand : To overpower it on the plains, And maul it, and knock out its brains. Retir'd, and to a tavern got, Where such disturbance there vras not ; Fatigu*d with what had sung and said ; Now on a sofa laid his head ; Because he did not wish to trudge. God Morpheus who does not begrudge A dream, sent one to keep him quiet. He saw a plain, and there espied, The champions of the former period, And airy coursers, on which they rode : The cavalcade of ancient knight-hood ? A show would do the very sight good ; -Such, as the monsters, had knock'd down ; And dwarfs, and giants, overthrown ; And fiery dragons of the air ; And pale-fac*d virgins that were there ; Whom they had rescued from the grasp, Of ravishers that did enclasp Their snowy bodies, in their arms j And drank the lustre of their charms ; Or knights themselves, who had been freed, From oaken durance, where were tree'd ; Or bound in rocks, where by a spell, They had remained invisible. The Cincinnat approach'd the throng, Who beckon'd him to come along ; Gazette Publications. 217 As recognizing his advance, To be that of no common man's ; But one who came to join the squad, By that same baublet that he had ; With ensign of the eagle's beak, And motto in th' original Greek Or Latin, knew not which it was : For things had come to such a pass, When these knights flourish'd, devil a one, ilad such a thing as learning known ; But all depended on their slashing. For fame, and for diurnal ration ; And cut and carv'd their sustenance. By force of vig'rous arm and lance. The Cincinnat address'd as ought, With chosen words and select thought. Quoth he, my seniors, in the art. Of chivalry's great master part ; You see me, of a junior breed ; A germ, sprung from the self same seed. Of predecessors in romance. And orders that did flourish once ; . Profession now degenerate, " Reduc'd to the very lowest state ; For even the Cincinnati club Which imitative is set up, Is much traduc'd, and badge they wear Is greatly undervalu'd here ; For instance that same pedagogue, And clergyman that is in vogue, T 218 Gazette Publicatio7is, And other cavillers, just now I met with in a town came through ; Do lead astray the populace, Who have no judgment in the case. A senior from the squad step'd forth, Of a superior mein, and worth : Quoth he, the more the degradation, Of chivalry, the more occasion, For an exertion of the brain, - To kindle up the thing again ; And doubtless this same club of yours, Has, as't were added boots and spurs, To bring it to a trot once more And restorate the days of yore. And, if discouragements arise, ^ In this the gi^ater honor lies, To overcome and persevere. *Ti3 true, no dragons of the air, Or fiery vultures do occur, T encounter with, and make a stir ; Or damsels ravish'd in a wood j Or giants to let out his blood : Or an inchanter with his spell ; But yet there is the devil in hell To pay with other villainies, That in your modern days take rise Such as false notions of the right, Which it behooves a valourous knight T' arraign with free born thought and speech And tell the people which is which j Gazette Publications, 219 And no less courage is reqiiir'd, To speak the truth with which are fir'd j Than to knock down a cow at grass, Or monster that did come to pass. Adventure, quoth the Cincinnat, Not much less perilous than that La Mancha's knight attempted when^ Somewhat unstable in his brain, He took a wind-mill for a giant ; For like catastrophe is nigh hand To him that combats with opinion That is once fixed and has dominion ; Whether the monster of the hour^ Be anarchy or other power In shape of mob, or demagogue Which is another name for rogue ; As just now with a rabble rout I did experience in the crowd, In an adventure that was hot^ And where no credit could be got j So that I deem it preferable To joust with you than with the rabble Of mankind in their prejudices, Which no man ever did who wise is ; And so escaping I am here To enter lists, and break a spear. Meantime a message had been sent By Charlemagne to call from tent, ^20 Gazette Ptihlications^ By trumpeter, the several orders. That lay upon th' enchanted borders. Our hero look'd to see where vias, Old Cincinnatus in the case. In vain, for, in Elysium hous'd, Plis mettle had not yet been rous'd ; But mixed, with the ignoble shades, Did wander, idly in the glades ; And as in life, had been a plowman, And were no badge, or dress uncommon So now he troubles not his head, "With these ; but walks among the ^^^.ik^ '- The Romans, or obscurer Greeks ; That wore no pendle at theiriiecks. So much for vision cf the «reatn, That came mlo the head of him. But now the Cincinnat below, Awakinsj as some one came throus:]!,. Saw nothing but the standing chairs, And landlord coming down the staii*s. Gazette Publications* 221 To THE Poets, Philosophers, ORATons, States- men AND Heroes of AxTiquiTV. Gcntlemenf HAPPY in the shades of Elysium you are under 110 apprehension from the evils of fate, or the changes of fortune. Yet you have the feelings of men, and it is the maxim of each of you, / a« a mav^ and I thhik nothing that belongs to man foreign from me.'* This appears from the part "which you seem to take in all the transactions of surviving mortals. We often hear from you, and you appear to be well acquainted with all affairs in "which we are engaged; I suppose the dead who daily go down to you communicate the in- formation. V/ithout flattery, give me leave to say, the antient world was greatly honoured by your pre- sence, anchbenefitcd by your services. The modern world is also much in debt to you, for though dead, nevertheless, each cf you yet sp.eaketh. Almost every day we receive from you some tract, dissertation, or essay. The Gazettes abound with lucul)rations under the signatures of Nestor, Antenor, Trismegistus, Hermes, Mentor, Diogenes, FlatO) Zeno, Dion, Hiero, Xcnophon, Socrates, AristvOtle, Euripides, and others. *In looking over the pcriodicrd and literary publications of the past century, I lind innumerable entertaii^ing and instructive pieces from the pens of Solon, Lycur- gus, Numa, Mucins Sc?:vola, Camiilus, Brutus, Pliny, and others equally respectable. If the old Greeks and Romans should take away what they have produced * Homo zum i^ nihil humani a ?ue Qlliraun pulo, '1- n i A 222 Gazette Publications^, m tlie publications in Britain, that haughty people would have few things left to boast of. For some time past you seem greatly to have bro- ken off your correspondence with that wicked nation. A hte circumstance has put it in my power to make the observation : An armed vessel belonging to the States, having captured a prize near the capes of the Delaware, the cargo consisting chiefly of books, was brought up to Philadelphia. Amongst this collection were a number of the Gentleman's, the London, and the Westminster Magazines ; and in these I could observe but few things under any of your signa- tures. I presume, having found that nation incorri- gible, you have discontinued your epistles to their is- land. It is indeed high time to abandon them, and to turn your attention to the free people of America. Here your correspondence will be courted, and your observations very generally attended to. Anacreon, if he pleases may give us, now and then, a bit of poet- ry : Pythagoras, a scrap on the doctrine of transmi- gration : Archimedes may hand us up a problem, and- Demosthenes the sketch of some well-written oration. History and politics, however, will be more to the taste of the present times ; and for that reason I am anxious to interest in our behalf those great legisla- tors, Solon and Lycurgus, Numa Pompilius, Mmos, Radamanthus, Eacus and others. It would much oblige us, if Solon would send up a few observations on the nature of Government. Cato's letters, published some years ago, I have read with great pleasure ; they v/ere well written and breathed a spirit of liberty. Junius, (I think it must be Junius Brutus) writes- a good letter. His style has not been surpassed by any of us on the earth at pre- sent. The name of Junius, is popular in North-Ame- rica, and we should be happy to hear from him in the great cause in which we are engaged. Hortensius* is a whig, and a v/riter of the first mag- * Governar Livin^'stc7t. Gazette Publicatmn, 22S nitude. His pieces published in Collin's Gazette of New-Jersey are admirable : that particularly in which he proposes the exchange of General Burgoyne. If Hortensius spoke as well in antient times, as he writes at the present, I do not wonder that Cicero thv^ught him no mean competitor for the palm of immortal eloquence. The Theban General Epaminondas* has favoured us with some good pieces in a Magazine published in Pennsylvania. I do not know whether you have any acquaintance with some of the more modern statesmen and wor- thies; Hampdeuf Sidney, Harrington, Russel, and others, who in their days were the great asserters of liberty. Some good things have appeared from the pens of these Gentlemen in our present great contest for the rights of human nature. Tell them therefore if you any where meet with them, that we shall be glad to have the honour of their correspondence. I shall from time to time communicate to you some information of the state of our affairs. This will counteract the false accounts carried do^vn by the to* ry ghosts, which accounts, I am informed, are publish- ed very regularly in the Journals and Gazettes of Tar- tarus. These publications, I am told, do sometimes fmd their way to Elysium and impose upon the unwa- ry of that honest, and of consequence, unsuspicious country. By the present opportunity of a whig shade going to Elysium, I have sent you down the last Penn- sylvania Packet, and the^t containing the seventh No. of the Crisis. I am Gentlemen, with great respect, Your most obedient and humble Servant, One of the Moderns,. Fhiladel/ihiay Jan. 15, 1779. * Doctor Withersfioon,. 224 Gazette Pitblicatiom, On the means of reconcii^ii^^g parties. THINKING of the means of a , reconciliation of parties, the Federal and Jacobin^ it occTirs to me, that intermarriages of young persons, would have a pow- erful effect to extinguish animosities, by forming a union of interest in the administration of the govern- ment, and the population and riches of tlie country. The federalists having been in possession of the go- vernment for a considerable time, have amassed ■wealth from the offices they have possessed, and the speculations they have had in their power. The ja- cobins, on the other hand are poor, and many of them, if not literally without breeches*, yet at least not hav- ing the best ; but they are nov/ of the administration, and heirs apparent of promotion. The Govemment is in their hands, and honour follows dignity. There is an unobserved, at least, an unasserted nobility in office which stands in the place of aristocratic title, and is in lieu of aiicestry, the object, at all times, of regard and veneration. Doubtless the jacobins arc now the nobility of our country, and such of them as are not burdened with property, and the greater part of them are not, w^oiild fnu it a convenient thing to match themselves with the daughters of rich federal- ists, unless a false delicacy, and mistaken notions of honour should prevent it. On the federal side, there can be no ground to suppose an unwillingness to come into the measure. Wealth, v/hich is but a means of power, is universally given up to power it- self. Why should a discreet and prudent Jacobin, that has felt the pinch of hunger and bad clcthing, * Sans Culotte. Gazette Publications. 225 hesitate at the proposition of marrying a girl of for- tune, merely on the score of being of federal parent- age ! more especially, if the young lady, as is usually the case, has had a good education ; has been taught music and dancing under the best masters, and is well bred and accomplished. Should even an American re- publican hang back in the way of matrimony with such offers in view, there are United Irishmen, all of whom are genuine Jacobins, who are expected with a consi- derable influx after the war, and will furnish stock from whence to recruit husbands. The federal young ladies and even widows, of the towns and cities will be at hand at the first landing before prejudices are instilled, to coax them into a connection. As some of them may be redem^itioners^ the bare paying their passage may suffice ; Or, should they hack and bog- gle, when brought ashore, an act of assembly may be pro\-ided to compel the bog-trotters to come into the link. There is nothing so inticing to an old countryniari as a silver watch and a pair of buckskin breeches.. A promise of these with a dram in the morning might induce the most obstinate, and supersede the necessi- ty of an act of assembly, or compulsory process by a course of law. The m.ost reasonable objection "that I have heard on the score of policy, is that these Deli- lahs might debauch the principles ; shear the hair of our young Sampsons, and make them become " as other men." Of this, I conceive, there is little dan- ger : Pady is made of sterner stuff than to be bended so easily. The father-in-law, with the assistance of his daughter, however seducing, would find it a diffi- cult matter to pervert the native stubbornness of a Heart of Oak, Heart of Steel, or White Boy. Those that come from the kingdom arc staunch. I would not so easily trust the Jacobins of the Scotch nation, Such of them especially as are of the North, where feudal principles are imbibed with the earliest educa- tion J such are rather Jacobites than Jacobins. These 226 Gazette Publicatiojjs^ must always have their Laird or " great Maun** to look to ; but the lowland Scotch, are presbyterians and republicans. Having thoughts of sending for a venture of Kilmarnock caps, I would be willing to contract for a score or two of journeymen weavers about Paisley to marry them off among the federalists, if any would bespeak, and give a good profit on the risk. Germans from the Palatinate, would be a good im- portation, if it be true what Barruel and Robison tell us, of the liluminati on the Rhine. Hans might find his account in matching with some of our first fami- lies ; and, not understanding our language in the first instance, it would be some time before he could find out what was about to be done with him, and that the taking a federalist, was, in some sort a degradation. Before he could come to a full sense of this, he would be so domesticated that give him Saur Kraut enough, there would be little danger of his going away. The laws of the country, and religion, prohibit polygamy and concubinage ; the idea therefore of several female federalists, in the scripture language, laying hold of one man, so that a single democrat might take away the reproach of a whole neighbourhood, is impracti- cable. Nor do I think it necessary to have recourse to such expedient, provided that due diligence is used to collect individuals of the proper political descrip- tion at home and abroad. There are many means short of absolute coercion, which may be used to bring about the intermarriages of sisters and daugh- ters with advei^aries. As to love potions I do not approve of them, and have my doubts of their efficacy, unless indeed, the common potion of strong drink, which might be given occasionally. A Taterdemalion in his cups might be kidnapped into wedlock. Scruples are asleep in these cases, and the stupid creature would have no suspicion but that he was about to be proir.c- ted in point of reputation as well as fortune. Gazette Publications. 227 I am aware that at this time of unreasonable jea- lousy, some may be disposed to insinuate and affect to believe that, in these hints I am not serious, but in- tend merely a burlesque on federal men. But what can a man say or do, that is not liable to misrepresen- tation or mistake ? It is not impossible but some on the other hand, may think it a burlesque on Jacobins, and thus the author like many other well-meaning persons, may incur the censure of both parties. HERACLITUS. Ju7ie 20, 1801. THE following is the introduction of a small ■work which I had begun, but from which I was di- verted by other objects. This was about the year 1779, and under the title of r«f The establishment of the United States." THE fall of antient empires, and the rise of new states, are the noblest themes, that can exercise the abilities of winters : And among the many revolutions that have happened in the history of nations, there is none that can demand a greater compass of political Investigation and commercial knowledge than that of these United States, which like so many lights with native splendor have risen from the shades of anti- quated governments, and now bid fair to spread themselves with undiminished lustre to the latest ages. The writer of this plain account proposed to the public, has not that confidence of full resource of thought and knowledge of this nature, which would 228 Gazette Publications. enable him to venture boldly on the undertaking. And had he even such resource, yet amidst the engage- ments of a close attention to a different study, he pos- sesses not that easy and abundant leisure, m hich would enable hinito do his country justice in the execution. All he therefore can propose, and all the public can have reason to expect, is his throwing out such thoughts as without any deep research may have occurred to his mind, and treasuring up such facts as without a more than general enquiry may have become the subject of his knowledge ; the expression of which thoughts, and the relation of which facts, will be only such as without a strict attention to the harmony of period, requiring the repeated trial of the ear, he may be able to commit to paper. It is not his intention to v/rite a general history from the earliest settlements of these plantations ; nor will he yet confine himself to that commencement when the declaratory bi]l had passed, or when the sword was drawn at Lexington ; but wandering down and touching on the first disco- very of the continent, he will revert his course, and handling several subjects in his way, come back to those less distant periods when the tyranny of Britain began to shew itself in bold encroachments, and when no longer tolerable, it gave rise to those exertions which have terminated in the full establishment of tliis confederate empire. The right of Great-Britain to the soil of North- America, founded on the first discovery of the coast, however just in its nature, yet was limited in its ex- tent, by the right of the natives, and the right of other nations. The right of the natives has been ge- nerally supposed not to limit but to exclude all others. For the law of nature vests the soil in the first occu- pant, and these from the earliest times had possessed the country. But shall a few tribes thinly scattered Gazette Publications. 229 over an immense continent retain possession of it) while other parts of the globe are overcharged with inhabitants ? To set this matter in a clear point of view, we shall revert to the origin of that right which all men have, in common with each other, to the earth, the water. and the air; and this we shall find in the extensive grant to the first pair, and in them equally to all their descendents. This grant is recorded in the first chap- ter and the first book of the sacred law ; Aiid God bless- ed them-^ and God said unto theii^ he fruitful and mul' ■rily and refilenish the earthy and subdue it : and have . J minion over the fsh of the sea, and over the fowl of the airy and over every living thing that moveth ujion the earth. The words of this grant convey no right of primogeniture, or any other right by which one man may occupy a larger portion of the soil than his neighbour ; for rights of this kind are the establish- ments of civil policy, and can have no place between individuals in a state of nature ; or between different nations, who are in a state of nature with relation to each other. The unequal distribution of the soil, would disappoint the manifest intention of the grant, which was to people and improve tlie eartli ; for it is unfavourable to population that societies or individuals should possess a greater quantity of soil than is ne- cessary for their own subsistence. To apply this to the aborigines or native Indians of America : Shall these tribes, inferior in number to perhaps one twentieth of the inhabitants of Europe, possess ten times the territory ? It will be said that their manner of life makes a greater quantity of soil necessary. They live by hunting, and though their tribes are thinly scattered over the continent, yet the whole is no more than sufficient for a hunting ground ; nay, with even this extent of country their subsistence is precarious, and they frequently experience the se- verest rage of famine, when the wild animals that make their food are rendered scarce, or have with- U 230 Gazette Publications* draAvn to a different forest of the country. But da the laws of revelation or of nature leave every man at li- berty to use what manner of life he pleases ? This will deserve some consideration. Before the fall the earth spontaneously brought forth eveiy herb and every tree for the use of man, and we may reasonably presume, that without cul- tivation it would then support a larger number of inhabitants than it can at present with the utmost la- bour we are able to bestow upon it. In this state of things it was not necessary to exercise the arts of in- dustry ; but ^yhen the curse attendant on the lapse of Adam, " glanced aslope upon the ground,'* and it became sterile, the cultivation of it was enjoined on man, not only as his punishment, but as now the on- ly means by which he could support himself, and comply wiih the conditions of the grant, " replenish the earth and subdue it. The Lord God sent him (the first man) forth from the garden of Eden, to till the ground." I acknowledge in the early times the cultivation of the earth was not so immediately enjoined as neces- sary ; for the few inhabitants might live by pasturage, and for some space of time posterior to the general deluge, when the flesh of animals was given to the use of m.an, they might subsist by hunting ; but on the closer settlements of families and nations, this manner of life became impossible to one, without en- grossing more territory thaji could be spared to ano- ther, and as all could not subsist in this manner, no one had a right to claim it as an exclusive privilege. The law of nature, where the law of revelation is not known, sufficiently enjoins on every man that he contract his claim of soil to equal bounds, and pursue that manner of life which is most consistent with the general population of the earth, and the increase of happiness to mankind : And it will easily appear that the mode of life by pasturage or hunting, requires a more extensive territory than by agricultui^e ; and Gazette Publications, 231 at the same time from the very circumstance of thin and scattered settlements in that state, the powers of genius are inactive, the arts and sciences remain un- known, and man continues to be an animal differinc; in nothing but in shape from the beasts of prey that roam upon the mountain. The life of these is there- fore not human ; for it is abhorrent from the way of life which God and nature points out as the life of man. " The Lord God sent him forth to till the ground ;" and common reason has discovered that from the goodness and benevolence apparent in the whole creation, and from that provision made abun- dantly for every creature, it must be most agreeable to the Creator that the earth be stored with inhabi- tants; and that in order to this end, a way of life be chosen in which individuals or particular nations may subsist v/ith the least extent of territory. The aborigines of this continent can therefore have but small pretence to a soil which they have never cultivated. The most they can with justice claim, is a right to those spots of ground v/here their wigwams have been planted, and to so much of the soii around them as may be necessary to produce grain to support them, their families, in towns up- on the coast, or in the inland country, where they have inhabited. Perhaps they may have some priori- ty of right to occupy a different country, should it be their choice to change the situation where former cir- cumstances may have placed them. The continent of North-America may therefore on the first discovery of the coast, by any civilized Euro- pean nation, be considered as, the greater part of it, a vacant country, and liable to become the property of those who should take the trouble to possess it. Nevertheless I do not mean to justify the waging an unnecessary war against the natives, or the extirpa- tion of them altogether; but yet I would justify en- croachment on the territory claimed by them, until they are reduced to smaller bounds, and under the 232 Gazette Publications. necessity of changing their unpolished and ferocious state of life, for fixed habitations and the arts of agri- culture. At the same time I think it still adviseable to purchase from them, if it may be done convenient- ly; because it is a dictate of humanity to decline in- sisting on the full extent of any claim of property, if it may involve the shedding of the blood of those, ^vho tliough sunk beneath the dignity of human na- ture, yet bear the name and are seen in the shape of men. From the whole of this reasoning it will be evident, that the right of Great-Britain to the soil of this con- tinent, in consequence of the first discovery of the coast, was limited by the rights of the aborigines or native Indians found upon it, but it was limited in a small degree, and the greater part of this immense territory was then in strict view of revealed and of natural law, without an owner or inhabitant. The right of Great-Britain to the soil of North- America, limited by the right of the natives, was also limited by the rights of other nations. The terms cf the grant made to Adam, and renewed to Noah, equally embraced the whole of their descendents. The earth lay in common, and the occupancy of a portion of the soil, was that alone which gave to in- dividuals an exclusive right to hold it. We must restrict the right of occupancy to a moderate portion of the soil, because it is inconsistent with the original condition and express purpose of the grant, that an individual, or a nation should possess a more exten- sive tract of country, than is necessary for their par- ticular subsistence. I have no 'doubt but that a nation greatly populous, whose numbers overcharge the soil, have a right to demand territory from a nation in possession of a soil equally fertile, and less abound- ing witli inhabitants. From the position which we have established, that it is the occupancy of a portion of the soil necessary for subsistence, that alone gives a right to hold it, it Gazette Publications, 233 will follow that the circumstance of having first visit- ed a country cannot give a right to any greater por- tion of the territory than is necessary for subsistence ; and not indeed to any portion of it, unless the visitant remains to occupy and dwell upon it. Perhaps it may confer a priority of right to occupy the soil, "While it shall be unoccupied by any other visitant. We shall be sensible of this, if adverting to the early emigrations, we consider that it would have been absurd in Japheth the eldest son of Noah, wan- dering westwards from the mountains of Armenia, where the ark rested, to have advanced a ckim to two or three coimtries, because in his way of life by pasturage or hunting, he had first passed the moun- tains, or first visited their boundaries. The right of discovery was unkno-wn in term or idea to the early ages, and it came first into view on the modern improvements in the art of navigation, when several of the sovereigns and states of Europe fitted out vessels to explore the seas, and to make dis- coveries. The expence and labour of the enterprise, would seem to give a right to the soil of that conti- nent or island which they had discovered. But it may be said that an exclusive right of this kind v/oukl be unfavourable to the settlement of that country, and therefore could have no place even amongst the sove- reigns and states of Europe, who by tacit and implied consent had submitted to it. Much less could it have a place amongst the claims of other nations of the world, who in no way, by direct assent or implication, had come to such agreement. In the mean time it will appear from history, that the claim of right, founded on the first discovery of the coast, was usurp- ed by several of the sovereigns and states of Europe, rather than acknowledged by the others, who had not been equally adventurous or successful in expeditions of this nature. The Swedes and Dutch seem to have paid no regard to the claim of Britain, founded on' the first discovery of Sebastian Cabot, who coasted U % 234 Gazette Publication's. North America ; for matigre his claim, the Diitefi took possession of the country of New-York, and the Swedes of Pennsylvania. No state or individual ought to have regarded it ; for no expence, enter- prize, or labour of a nation, or of any individual, can %i\-Q a right which in its operation would defeat the end in view by the Creator, which was, that the earth be fully stocked with inhabitants. To this great end, every claim and institution of a partial nature ough^ to be subordinate. The claim therefore of the first adventurers could with justice only be to so much of the soi], as they themselves immediately should occu- py, and plant, and settle with inhabitants.-^Thesc things may be said plausibly ; but it is to be consider- ed that from the heart of Asia where man was iirst planted, it was an easy thing to emigrate and disco- ver new countries. Hence it is that a pretence of right, from the first discovery of a country, would, , in these early ages, have been vain, and we hear nothing of it. But when the whole eastern continent,- and the islands of the coast had been visited and planted, it became an object of the industry of man, and required much sagacity, fortitude, and perseve-^ ranee to explore the ocean, and effect discoveries. It was at the same time an affair of no small expence to fit out vessels for the voyage. For these reasons natural justice would seem to give to the adventurers not only a priority of right to occupy a newly discovered country, but also a right to demand from others, some consideration in services or money for admission to it. The only reason to be urged against the claim from discovery 13, that it is not favourable to the popu- lation of the earth that individuals, on any pretence whatsoever, should hold a greater portion of the soil, than is necessary for their particular subsistence. But it is to be considered, that it is favourable to po- pulation, because it is unfavourable to the discovery of unknown regions of the earth, that the individual Gazette Publications. 235 who by much labour and expence hath effected the discovery, shall nevertheless enjoy no advantage re- sulting from his ingenuity and enterprize,-but a prio- rity or right to occupy an equal portion of the soil with him who, led by the information of the first na- vigator, shall come to settle on it. The best argu- ment in favour of the right of a first discoverer, will therefore be, that by giving due encouragement to men who shall search the globe by sea and land, and discover new soil, the whole earth will become peo- pled, and it seems to be the will of the Creator, that the whole earth be stocked with irJiabitants. (Discontinued. J THE following address to Whiskey made its appearance in the western parts of Pennsylvania short- ly after the insurrection in that quarter, in the year 1794 ; and which has been stiled the Whiskey Insure rection^ on account of the cause of that disturbance being the excise on whiskey. It was said to be writ- ten by a citizen of that country of the name of Bruce, and drew from me an answer which led to a corres- pondence, which was carried on to a considerable length ; and some part of which I have collected and inserted here. Some part of this, behold ! is it not written in the book of Bruce himself ; for he also has published a book ; but he has likewise. omitted some things, from the same or from other causes. 236 Gazette Fublicatiom. TO JVHI SKEY. GREAT Pow'r, that warms the heart and liver, And puts the bluid a' in a fever, If dull and heartless I am ever, A blast o' thee Makes me as blyth, and brisk, and clever As ony bee. I wat ye are a cunning chiel, O' a* your tricks I ken fu' wecl, For aft ye hae gien me a heel, And thrown me down, When I shook hands wi' heart so leel. Ye wily loun. When fou o' thee on Scottish grun^, At fairs I've aft' had muckle fun. An' on my head wi' a guid rung. Gat mony a crack ; An' mony a brav/ chiel in my tura, Laid on his back. An' here, tho' stick be laid aside, An' swankies fight in their bare hide ; Let me o' thee ance get a swig, I'll tak my part. An' bite and ' , gouge and tread Wi' a' my heart.. Gazette Piihlications. 237 Great strength'ning pow'r, without thy aid Plow cou'd log-heaps be ever made ? To tell the truth, I'm sair afraid, ('Twixt ye and me) We'd want a place to lay our head, Had'nt been for thee. But when the chiels are fou' o' thee, Och ? how they gar their axes flee. Then God hae mercy on the tree, For they hae nane, Ye'd think (the timber gaes so free) It rase its lane.— Without thee how cou'd grass be mawn ? Grain shear'd, and into barn-yards drawn ? An' when auld wives wi' faces thrawn Ly in the strac, I doubt, gin ye ware nae at hanV There'd be great wae. But it wou'd tak a leaf and mair To tell o' a' your virtues rare ; j At wedding, gossipping and fair, Biiith great and sma' Look unco dowff if ye'r na there^ Great soul o* a'.. Then foul befa' the ungratefu' deil That wou'd begrudge to pay right weel, For a' the bkssings that ye yiel In sic a store ; I'd nae turn round upo' my heel For saxpence more. 238 Gazette Publications. rr H I s K E Y, IN ANSWER. YOUR rouse* rins glib thro' a* my vein? ; I find it at my finger en*s : An' but a gouk that has nae brains, Wa'd it deny, That mony a time, baith wit and sense I can supply, Far better than the drink ca'd wine"; Wi' me compar'd 'tis wash for swine : Ae gill is just as guid as niuQ ; And fills as fou' : It is nae very long sinsyne, Ye prov'd it true. That time ye made sae muckle noise, About the tax tney Cu' CXcise ; And got the name o' Whiskey-boys^ Frae laland glakes ; That cam' sae far, nae verra wise, To gie ye pikes. Tho' I may say't among our-sels, Ye gaed o'er far wi' your pe'mells, On N and the guager W , And ither louns, Far better ye had drank your gills, And eat your scons. * Praise. F Gazette Publica tions. 25 9 i it was a kittle thing to take The government sae by the neck, To thrapple every thing and break Down rule and laws ; , And make the public ship a ^\Teck, Without guid cause. 'Twere safer ye had tulzied here, Wi' chiels that dinna muckle care To gouge a wee bit, or pu' hair, And no complain ; But a* the tugs and rugings bear. Or let alane. The warst is, but to get a lesson, If som* ane puts ye i* the session, To take a prie o' spiritual sneesin Frae J M— -M n, Wha'l say o*er ye a back-ward blessing, When ye're nae willing. But wha'ist o' ye mak's the verse, Sae very kittle and sae terse. That in the Gazzat gies me praise ? They say 'tis Bruce ; I canna half sae weel rehearse : Tak* my excuse. I'm mair among unlettered jocks Than well-lear'd doctors wi' their buiks ; Academies and college nuiks I dinna ken ; And seldom wi' but kintra folks, Hae I been benn. Ye canna then expect a phrase. Like them ye get in poets lays ; For Where's the man that now-a-days, Can sing like Burns ; 240 Gazette Publications* Whom nature taught her ain strathspeys, And now she mourns. I dinna like to sign my name, By that o' Whiskey, fie for shame ! I had a better ane at hame ; In town or city. Where a' ware glad to get a dram Q* ■ Aqua Vitje. ANSWER TO AQUA VIT.E. FAIR fa' ye, canty AquA Vit^; Indeed yeVe gi'en's a dainty ditty. Just like yoursel, sae blythe and witty, It does me guid ; I need nae fash to try to beat ye, I'd nae succeed. But I maun tell ye, my auld chiel, I'm nane o' thae wha play'd the deil, And lowpt and jumpt out o' a' reel, And brak the law ; And gar'i the public ship to heel, Wi' their fraca'. I am nae ty'd to Kirk or Session, Nor do I aften tak a blessing. Or listen to a sp'ritual lesson Frae ■ ; To credit a' his kittle guessing, I'm nae quite willing. Gazette Publications, 241 I'm nane o' thae wha say lang graces, And thraw their looks into grimaces, Thinking wi' sad and frightfu' faces To scare the Deil ; I like o'er well to kiss the lasses j And lilt a reel. Whene'er wi' ye I tak' a bout, I dinna sit and drink and jout In some bye place or chimney n\iik, As I've seen some ; Wha think their names down in life's buik, As sm'e's a gun. .. r ' I bauldly ca' for t*ither glass, And sit as long's I hae ony cash ; And shou'd some rude ill-manner'd hash Begin a brattle, I am nea laith his banes to thrash, And stap his thrapple. As there be some wha tell foul clashes, And say my kin try folks are fashious, And tak sair threat'ning and lasses To keep in order ; Like Scottish louns wha ware s* audaci'ous Upo' the border : ,. v.- I often wish when in my mirth. My guitcher ne'er had crost the Frith, That rows its flood between the earth, C the twa islands ; Ware that the case, I'd had my birth, I' the Scots. Highlands. — . ^ ^ Ye ken fu' well that Scottish' chieis Are nane o' thae' wanrestfii' deils; Wha' wish to keep the warld* on wheels * The fiolitical state of Society. X 242 Gazette PubUcatiom* Aye turn an round ; And maun be aft laid by the heel To keep 'em down. ;/l- They sit like honest sonsy fouks, And dously turn their caps and stoupi,j And dinna aften budge th'er dowps To make a brulzie ; But ance they fairly tak the tows, Faith ! they can tulzie. Ye spake o' Burns, Nature's ain bairn, Wha rous'd ye aft in merry vein — j^- -a Saftly, indeed, flow'd his sweet strain, . And stopt o'er soon ; • - ' ' ^' We'll never see his maik again—' My tears hap dov/n. But I've a hantle mair to say. Which I may tell anither day j Now, I maun rin and shak the strae, Whare I've been thre$sing : — ' Farewell ! winsome Aqua ViTiE I I gie y? my blessing. ANSWER TO BRUCE, THERE was a Clerk, i' tihe neist doori Cam' to our town ; had le^r gilore j And tauk'd about anc Pythagore, Wha had a thought, flis saul wad tak, when life was o'er, An ither bught ; Gazette, Picblications^ 243 vnd lowpinto the bodie o' ane, Now in the shape o* a wee weaii ; And after shaw the self-same vein- O' wit and sense, He had, before death wi' a stanc Dang out his brains. I leught and ca'd him a daft chiel, And thought his head in a peat creel ; But now I b'lieve him verra weel, And gie him faith ; Ye^r Allan Bamsey or the Deil. Ujio^ my aith. His saul has soomit o'er the burn, To tak in you an ither turn, And be a while in life's sojourn Sic as he was, Near Frith of Forth where he was borii^ And liv'd his days. I ken ye Allan verra weel. Though you may hardly ken your-selV But ah ! your sang is nae sae shill, Nor pipe sae soft ; The voice ye had, as dear's a bell, 'S a weething dowff'd. But's nae your fau't, my canty Callan, That ye fa' short o' the Auld Allan ; There's neither Highland man, nor Lallan', That's here the same ; But finds him scrimpit o' tli'e talen* He had at hame. What's mair expect'd here i' the west, Sae near where night taks off his vest And his grey breeks, and gaes to rest, And the lang day Is dock*d o* several hours at best, Sic as on Tay. 244 Gazette Publications'^ I find myseP degenerate, And nae sic ^giia as ye gat ; In Clachan horns \vi* comrades met, To tak a gill ; And though come stacherin hame fu* late 5 yet did nae ill. The lads got gumption by their drink ; And Carls could better speak and think ; Tak aff a bonnet wi' a clink, And say a grace ; And lug out scripture verra distinc', Frae ony place. But here the drappie that ye need, Maun ay some wicked brulzie breed : Gie ane anither's claes a screed, An* aften seen, To gash wi' teeth, or tak in head. To stap the een._ Unless it be as folks o' lear, Say a* things gradually impair, And human nature wears thread-bare. And turns ; — Gude help's ; Ae year auld, and twa year war', Like the tod's whelps. Be this as 't may, it does me guid, To meet wi' ane o' my ane bluid, I was sae glad a' maist ran wud To be thegithcr ; But I maun now, gae chew my cud^ And had my blether. Gazette Publications. 245 BRUCE TO AQUA FITM. A 'BEIT we baith ha'e said eiieusVi, Yet I maun own, vipo' my treuth, I am sae lifted wi' the seugh O' yer sweet chant, That I maun even stop the pleugh To gie ye a rant. Ware na I sure ye'r nae the same, I wad hae trow'd ye came frae hame, l^rae Londonderry or Colrain, An' that ye'd lickit, r yer young days, the Blarney Stane^ Ye are sae sleekit. Lear'd chiels indeed gie muckle roose To Pythagore, sae wise and douse, Wha wadna kill a flea or louse, As we are tauld. For fear he might brack down the house O' some poor saul. But I hae doubts, my canty blade, The Carle's doctrine winna baud. In what ye paukily hae said 'Bout me and Allan : Ah well-a-day ! I'm sair afraid I'm nae sic Callan. Ilis sangs will be the warlds' delyte Till wit and sense gang out o' date ; X 2 245 Gazette Puhlicatiom> There^s naething I can say or write Sic fame will win ; I'm nae m air than a blatherskyte, Compar'd wi' him. What ye hae said is right sagacious, That ilk thing here sae mickle warse iS) An' nae mair like, than trees to rashes, To things at hame : — Foul fa' me, gin the verra lasses Be here the same ! Whare's there a Forth, a Tweed, or Tay ? Thro' hills and greens that saftly stray, Whare shepherds spen' the simmer's day- Sae peacefulie.—- Thir scenes gar'd Allan lilt his lay Wi' sic a glee. What's here to gie the mind a heeSe ? Deil het ava', but great lang trees, Nae flow'ry haughs or bony braes To please the een. Nor bleating flocks upo' the leas Are heard or seen. At mom nae lav'rock tunes his whistle, Nor i' the bush is heard the throstle. There's naething but a skreek and rustle Amang i' leaves. — The music's sweer her sangs to cuzle. She dwines and grieves. Yersel's nae mair like Usquebaue Or Farentosh, than night's to day ; For a' ye mak me aye sae gay And fu' o' cracks, Set down by them yed look as blae As ony swats. Yet tho' ye'r nae sae clear and swett, I'se ay be glad wi' ye to meet, Gazette Publications. 247 An' winna stap my hause to weet, x\n' sit fu' late ; An* e'en to try an' sing a bit I'se nae be blate. But I maun aff an' turn a fur*— Ance corn is glent an' seeding's o'er, An* Winter's thuds again 'i door, Gin musie wills, Syne I can gie ye sangs a score For twa-three gills. A NUMBER of years after the preceding cor- respondence had taken place, and having in the mean time had no personal communication, or acquaintance, several things appeared from this bard, and on the score of politics, somewhat personal towards me. This drew from me the following, to which an answer was given, on the part of this gentleman, and a rejoinder from me j this was in the summer of the year 180f. TO BRUCE. WHEN of an age to run an errand To town or farm-house that was near hand, A bird's nest, or a bea^tie's bed. Aft turnxl me frae the gate I gaed j Mare, when I saw the thing itsel, And ran to catch it by th^ tail, 548 Gazette Publications, As ance a thing just leke a cat, I saw, and what wa'd I be at, But try to grip it, a wild pousie, And bring it hame to catch a mousie. Before I knew what I was doing. Or mischief that the thing was brewing, A vapour came that had a smell. And made me noisome to mysel. As fast as I could lift a heel, Ran hame, and said the muckle deel, Or some "vvar thing alang the fence. Had drain'd its bags at my expence, And rais'd a funk, and made me wet— They ca'd it something I forget. That strones upon a man and dog. That tries to take it by the lug, And leaves a scent about the place : That it behov'd to change my claes ; Sae stripp'd me o' my sark and trouse, And hung them out to get the dews, And bade me tak mare care again, And keep frae things I did na ken. Soon after this I gaed to Latin ; And read a buke, I kenna what in, That talk'd o' things that whir in bushes. Dryads, Hamadryads, Muses, On tops o' hills wad sing leke Mavies, And in the shady woods and cavies. Thought I, it maun be this vile clearing, And grubbing up the trees and bleering At burning brush, and making fences. That scars these things out o' their senses, And drives them frae our fields and patches ; For who sees any, now or catches, A moor-land deity or Nymphy, That roosts in trees, or wades in Jymphy ? Or hears a musy in the thicket. Just as you w^ad hear fi cricket ? Gazette Publkations, 249 May be in places farther back, The vestige may na be sae slack ; Where woods are green, and coimtra new, The breed may yet remain, a few, May sing to-mak' our spirits glow, Leke them on the pierean now, Or near that place ca'd Helicon, Where bonny tricklin* streams rin down. It was when I had cross'd the hills ; Amang these western woods and rills, Was sitting listening ae still e'en ; I min't as weel's I do yestreen ; It seem'd to me, I heard the seugh, O' ane ; I kent it weel eneugh ; It was nae inarticulate trill, Or echo o' the whippoorwill, But words cam' wi the melody j I kent the verra air, d'ye see, Frae the description I had got. In Latin buke, or Grecian poet. Ah, hah ! thought I, this sang is fincy It has an inkling of the nine ; It maun be what they c**^ a muse — What was it but the voice o' Bruce, O' a Lochabar origin And Scottish air sae very fine. Thought natural, expression saft z I loupit leke a man ha'f daft ; To think at last, out owre these woods, Amang the simraier trees and buds, A bardie should spring up, a musie, A genuine Parnassus pousie, In nature real, and in mew, Of Arcady a Kitiin* true. My wishes led me to caress it ; To stroke the thing and amaist kiss it ; But what my wonder and surprisal,^ Without an ill word or devisal, 250 Gazette Publications. To find the thing wlien a' was done, Inverse, and sang begin tostrone, "\Vi Hogo war than assa fetid, Or bag o' animal four fitit ; - I thought me o' what happened e&rjy. When Skunkie pish'd upon me fairly When I had ta'en it for a rabbit, And did na think it would grow crabbit. Sae frae the verra self same thitigs? Our gude andevil aften springs ; Our pleasure and pur pain thegither. The bony bard is turn'd dog mither, And bites and brangles like a. bitch, Or an opossum, makes na which i Or a racoon upon the creek, Near where his cabin gies it's reek. But still the consolation's taen ; Hard words, and language break nae bane. AVhile I can laugh and take a drink, III be to them that evil think. Here's to the bardie ; fill the cogue ; Or send and get anither jug : The best way is to laugh at /bols ; It is the wisdom of the schools ; For mirth tak's out the sting o' hurt ; And mental wounds are this way cur'd Gazette Publications. 251 J .V S W £ R. I*VE heard your sang about the SJiunkie, Wha piay'd ye sic afilthy jilunkie. ;.,' ".^ ♦; Now listen to me, while I tell * What in auld Scotland ance befell. Near an auld bigging, in a bush, There sat a solitary Thrush ; His breast wi' love o' sang was filPd ; He to the waste his wild notes thriird ; For being seen he little car'd, And wished still less for being heard ; To pass hislanesome hours away, And please himsel', he turn'd his lay. In the auld bigging dwelt a Starling, Wha was o' ilka bird the darling ; For well he kent to suit his throat To please ilk bird wi' its ain note ; Sometimes like Sparrow he'd be seen, Chirping, and hoping on the green ; Frae this he'd aften tak a start. And carrol wi' the tunefu' lark ; And this again he'd change as soon- He never staid lang on ae tune ; Bnt, 'fore your finger you cou'd crook, You'd tak him for a Crow or Rook. This Starling heard the Thrush's sang, Sowth'd saftly the lane woods amang— Heard and was pleased, and in a crack ; He gave the Thrush his musick back j Indeed the Starling sung sae well He did amaist th€ Thrush excel 252 Gazette Publications. Between the Thrush and Starling now An unco crony ship up grew ; Ay, frae the bush, when Thrush wad rant Starling wad frae the bigging chaunt. Thus, 'tween them twa the time pass'don, In friendship and in peacefu' sang, Till ance upo' a luckless day, A flight of Corbies came that way, A revenous, and ill boding flock, Wi' hungry, discontented croak, Much it surpris'd the wandering Thrush, As he sat singing in his bush. To hear the Starling change his strain, And croak wi* these vile birds obscene. It vex'd the Thrush — He shook his wings. And in a louder tone he sings, Wi' deeper warbling swell'dliis throat, Thinking the starling would take note ; But a* in vain — Th' unthinking bird C his new freak wad not be cur'd, But ay croak'd on, and aff* he flew, Wi' the black, clamourous, stinking creSv j And 'stead o' halesome seed o' herbage. He fed on carrion and on garbage. Him to reclaim the Thrush gave owre. But did his Starling's loss deplore. R E P L Y. TWA pipers ilk wi* bag and drone, Forgether'd in a wee bit town, Grew unco great : The ane was Angus ; The tither Duncan. Wha can bang vis^t. Gazette PuhlicaUo7\s, ^o^ Quo' they at playing on the pipes ? Scarce had the word gaed out their lips When up play'd Duncan Charlie^ s red* Angus he said he liked it weel, And, in his turn he play'd the Boyne^^ But Duncan said he wad na join Sic revolution spring as that, Mare than the Devil and black cat ; No play'd for laird or lady Mary, Wha hated seugh o' Inverara ;| And lik'd by nane but laland cotters ; Or what they ca' in glens, bog-trotters ; Wad stick to Charlie oivr the water. Quoth Angus it is na great matter, To my conception or my pleasin. Out o' what mul I take my sneeshin j Whether it is I blaw my cheeks, To gar them loup wha ha' na breeks; Or lairds or ladies wi guid beltin ; As muckle pleasure aft is felt in. The seeing lads and lasses Wallopjjl Wha ha! sma' claes to hide their gallop, As in the ha's o' pride, and plaiden, Whare men ha' geer, and maids ha* claden. Here man is nearer man ; the lardie Is no sae far aboon the bardie ; And she that frisks it wi' her neighboui'. Will na be laith to kiss the piper. But v/hy should ranters ban and banter, But as they like blaw up their chanter ? The thing is a' but sound and ranting; V/hat need we care but for our canting ? * Anstocracy. t Democracy. \- The seat of the Duke of Argyle^ a ivhig a7id rtvc- LUionifit. Ij Dance romfiingly , " IVallofied it o^iT tiie green.'" Maggy Lauder. Y 254 Gazette Publications. And no gie hard words, or break crowiis^ Because we canna suit our drones. The same wi* us now canty Bruce, Twa pipers that had different views, And baith had music in our brain ; Ye play'd up it***,- I play'd M'Kean. And sooth, maun a' be Do'phin fish* That cam' to soom about your dish. And a' are turn'd to ' Rooks a7id Bavens^* And very worst birds o' the heavens, That listen to my pipe or spring. Now toleration is a thing. That's amiable in church and state ; And why should bardies derogate Frae the same licence in their strains ? While men ha' different heads and brains,. The same things will na seem the same j And he has the maist sense o' them, Wha lets anither think and say. And in his turn takes the same way. I did na scirl, and clamour out ; And ca' ye a fa'se loon and lout ; Or say your pipe had lost its drone. Because ye play'd up Ettison,t Though a' the sense that man can feel, O' wrangfrae that misguided chiel, I had o' whilk ye nothing knew, 'And ought t' ave had still less to do ; Unless like piper to a laird, At hame in some great castle yard,^ On droupit doup like dog at tether, Ye biaw'd your cheeks up to a blether, * Amfihion with his lyre is said to have charmed a Dollihin. t President of the District. % The piper usually plaijs out of doors diii'ing the en^ tertainmentj but is seen and h^ardfrom the hall. Gazette Publications, 255 And play'd a spring just to his liking ; As bardies did to get a picking, In auld times when the meal was scarce^ ' 'rae failing ha'rst, or v/asting M'ars. Ah ! noj my canty winsome Bruce, Ye had na sic a guid excuse. It was just thoughtlessness and folly, Though it strake me wi melancholy, To find my bardie take a part, Against me wi his tunefu' art, And though it touch'<3 me wi an ach;, Yet, I forgave it for the sake^ C our relation to the muse. The mason word has na sic use, O' brother-hood, as this same charm^ And whilk is got without the harm,. O' raising, or o' laying De'el. But I maun bid you now fareweel ,- I dinna ken I shall say mare : 'Am ganging frae this thoroughfare.* May ay the Muse, to you dispense, The sowth o' sang, and pith o' sense,^ And bony art to wale the words. That make folk friends, and tighten cords. * About to leave the western /iart$ of Pennsylvania for Carlisle, my firescnt residence. 256 Gazette F'lihlicattons. THE Anaerican Philosophical Society had reduced itself by an almost indiscriminate admission of members ; any one offering a small subscription, and being mentioned at a meeting, was almost of course elected. This appeared to me a great error; and being in Philadelphia in the year 1787, when something^ of this kind happened, I was tempted to laugh a little at the expence of it, and with a view to promote a reform, the following wa^s inserted in the public papers of that period. A ^* Memoir to the American Philosophical Society." IT is now thirty-five years, since I applied my- s-elf to philosophical studies, and, during that time, l.ave read the greater part that has been written, both in ancient and modern languages, on the productions, and phenomena of nature ; the distinguishing quali- ties, the causes and effects of all things, in the hea- vens, in the seas, and on the dry land. I had entertained the hope that, by this my indust- ry, I might one day attract the notice of some learn- ed body, such as yours, and induce them to iTach out to me the right hand of fellowship, and invite me to be a member. But I perceive, to my great mortifi- cation, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but to the Lord tlmt sheweth mercy. For tliough I have broken almost every tooth in my Gazette Publicatioiis, 257 head, cracking allkinds of nuts that came in my \vay, and examining the kernels—and almost poisoned my- self poring at the tails of birds, to determine the spe- cies-— .yet I have had no more notice taken of me, than if I had been a jackdaw, v/ithoiit the hu- man genius : while in the mean time, Oric Macsug- an is admitted to be a member, and for no other rea- son, but for having presented to you, after carrying it for three hundred miles on his back, the thigh bone of a horse, which he had been led to believe to be the tooth of an elephant : Ebur elephantis, as Mo- gul says in his chapter, on the nature of ivory. I confess, though with some regret, that I have been a wag in m.y time, and very early, at a place where there was a museum of crabs' eyes and ratsi' tails, I diverted myself a little at the expence of the credulous, by affixing to a piece of brown paper, a label with these words, " remnant of a bramin's shirt," and placing it amongst the curiosities, where it re- mains to this day; and except the gills of adry'd fish of a singular form, I do not know that there is any thing in that collection) judged to be of more strangeness. In another instance, indeed-^— and when a m.an looks over his past life, he will always find something more and more to check his conscience, I cheated two philosophers, or rather cheated my aunt, and on- ly deceived them : for taking etn old fan of hers, and letting it lie a while in the mud of the marsh, I gave it a brown colour, and bringing it out, threw it down as a great curiosity. Four months had they it under consideration, and at last determined that it was the "vving of a Madagascar bat. You perceive, said they, the continuity of the parts, v/hich clearly distinguish- es it from the ala pluma, as Maniiga, the Italian, term? it, or the feathered wing. Indeed the Querou- che Pouche, or the flying squirrel, of this country, has the same kind of sublevumen, but none that we have yet discovered, have so large as this, except the Y2 '25B Gazette Publications, great Candian, or the Madagascar bat ; and that it la- the Madagascar is most probable, not only because there are no bats in Candia, but because the joint or knot, where the lamina or stems meet, seems to turn on a small nerve like a wire, and this, you well know, is the exact description which Abusegun gives of the bat's wing, in the fourth volume of his history. But I have been long since fully sensible of the va- nity of wit and mirth, and of the greater dignity of philosophic truth, insomuch, that to atone, in some degree, for this lightness of a youthful mind, I have applied myself seriously to investigate the arcana of your science, and have dedicated the time and talents which God has given me, to search out the effects and causes of all things. For this reason I have thought myself, as I have already said, the more hardly treat- ed, that I have not been made one of your body. "What am I to sit solely and alone, cut off from the men and pursuits I admire, and obliged to talk to those, who know no more of the value of a crooked shell, or the skin of a burned lobster, than a cat does of a harp- sichord ? It is well known to several in this country, that for many years past, not contented with examin- ing more perfectly things already known, I have ap- plied myself to discover new objects. Into how ma- ny wasps' nests have I thrust my hands ? How many dung heaps have I watched with my spectacles, to find unusual flies ? I have gone upon the sea-shore, if haply I might find a pebble of a stripe uncommon, — no such thing came in my way ; — I found a kind of shell-fish, it is true, one day, v/hich I thought some- what odd, but on examination by the description of Guerdon, I saw it was cochlearis alba, which Mag- gapippo, in his treatise de marinis, delineates. A singular butterfly once alighted on the front cock of my hat, but as I was gazing at it between me and the sun, and strainmg my brows to see it perfectly with- out disturbing it, it flew off, to my great chagrin ; for if I could have had the good fortune to have got a Gazette Publications. 25 D vying or a rib of this, to dissect and dry, so that tJiC veins and nerve* might appear, it would have fixed my reputation. One day, while my mind was troubled, at not find- ing any novel thing in nature, I was amused with the simplicity of a servant, an Irishman, who was with me, as I was traversing a meadow, and my eye rov- ing on the grass and windle straws, to discover a stem or a stalk of an odd contexture ; " by my shoul, mas- ter," said the honest fellow, " something is the mat- ter wid you, — your jaw is longer than your shin, and you look cast down a little." Having communicated freely the anxiety of my mind with regard to the be- ing a member of your body, and that to recommend myself I was poring on the posteriors of the world, for something new, but was disapix)inted and distress- ed, the simple swain replied, " oh ! and is that all ? If so, be aisy — fool as I am, I will be in that society in less than a month, and, by shaint Patrick, have you along wid me." *' How so," said I, Paddy ? " have you observed any remarkable phases in the heavenly bo- dies, ar what is more probable, have you seen in the field where you have been digging, any new species of -^ermicula ? Verius Sperculus takes notice of v/orms of a thousand feet, and who knows, but there may be of them with a thousand heads ? Have you fallen in with any thing like this, Paddy ?" " The devil burn me," reply'd the fellow, " if I have found any thing at all worse than myself; but I can do as a com- rade of mine did in Dublin ; as he was helping the sexton to dig a grave, he found the joint of his grand- mother's toe, and shewed it about the town among the boys for a cow's thumb ; and, master, do you think the people here have more wit than they have at home ?" " Why, said I, " Paddy, I make no doubt but it might be possible to deceive this learned body of illus- trious philosophers, who have been selected out of all nations, tongues and languages ; and it is true ^0 Gazette Publications* that I have practised this craft with individuals myself, but not with a corporate body. If it was in my power not only to be admitted, as a member, but even to be president, of that institution, by Uny deception what- ever — as for instance, palming on them a cow's tail for an Arabian beard, or a ram's horn for a coral sprig, yet my regard for the dignity of science would forbid it." It has transpired, and therefore I will freely ac- knowledge that it has been suggested to me, that I might procure attention from this society, by present- ing to them, not a cat's claw, or a petrified whit- stone, but forty or fifty pounds in money ; but this has appeared to me improper, not only because it was suitable for those only who had nothing else to recommend them, but also, because my stomach has been always better than my means, and my teeth less worn than my coat, and I have no money to spare, or indeed that 1 could conimand,in any shape whatsoever. Great has been my solicitude, and I may almost say despair of being a member. But as there is always an ultimate point of distress from which things begin to grow better, I flatter myself I have at length succeeded in my great object, or which will ensure me a recep- tion, viz. I have discovered an animal truly new and uncommon, and this more by good fortune, than by any research of mine ; for I declare upon the word of a philosopher, it came in my way, when I was not looking for it ; no doubt, as it has happened with others, and particularly with the great Conius in Hungary. It may not be at first believed, but there are several whom I took to view it, and v/ho can make affidavit of the form, and the disposition of it, which I am about to relate. The animal of which I speak, is without a name, but, as far as I could observe, it is about the size of a two year old colt, though it has not the least resemb- lance of the equine or horse kind ; but is distinguish- ed in the first place, by the jambe, or loin, being Gazette Publications. 261 bare of hair or feathers ; as the simia of Bengal h hairy, or rather has a kind of wool on this part. IIow- ever, I am persuaded it is not at all of the ape kind, but rather of the buzzard, having; a long beak not a little resembling a sword-fish, with small owlet eyes, and a tuft of feathers, if feathers they may be called, v/hich are joined together like a piece of leather, but have a soft down upon them like that of a goose. Barbarossa in his travels through Japan, describes an animal somewhat like this, and ranks it with the surrinate, or four-toed herron ; but it is evident, from the octagonal form of the ears, that it cannot be of this species. In short, it cannot be referred to any class that I know, of all those that either Gregoire de Roliver describes to be in his native country of Peru, or what Hasselquist tells us are to be found in the province of Alataga in Tartary ; so that on all hands, I conclude, that it is not of any known genus, but wholly a new animal, and approaching nearer to the catagnosis of men, than the elephant or ouran ou- taag, or indeed any other of the irrational creatures. Irrational I I am at a loss to say, if it is irrational. It has not the use of speech, it is true, but what the Scotchman said of the owl, when he saw the sign of it at Edinburgh, may be said of this, what it wants in speaking, it pays away in thinking ; for it has evi- dently a philosophic taste and disposition of enquiry, and therefore 1 have called it the virtuoso. This ia what I conceir'- distinguishes it from all other animals even independent of form, feathers, or any thing else of corporal appearance. It was about six miles from Carlisle, in this state, that I saw it, in the cleft of a rock, on the north mountain, as I was looking for a strayed horse, vrith a bridle in my hand. The rock was on the summit of a hill, and I could have a full view of it from the bottom, the trees being thin and no underwood to check the view, I did not venture to approach near, or to examine then perfectly ; but returning next day 262 Gazette Publications* with Rowland Harris and his four sons, I came neaf to it, and threw it the handle of a jockta-ley knife that I happened to have in my pocket. It took it up with seeming admiration, and holding it between its paws, as you would a prism to the sun, it eyed it, still turn- ing and observing it with great attention. I could al- most discover, by the expression of its countenance, it was at a loss to determine whether it was ivory or bone. Perhaps it might take it, as L'Escot did the cat's tail, for a carnified parsnip. Amongst the things which this animal had before him, I observed the rim of a spinning wheel, which he had purloined from the settlement ; and, as it seemed to me, might have mistaken it for one of the vertibrze, or back-bone joints of some large animal. Several bones were amongst its feet, but what particu^ larly struck me, was th.; head of a small rake, which, as far as I could judge, it might imagine to be the jaw bone and teeth of a rhinoceros. I approached this extraordinary animal, Rowland Harris and his sons before mentioned, being at my back, and came within three paces of it, while, in the mean time, it remained undisturbed, viewing through its paws a horn comb, which it had got, taking it, I conceive, for a kind of shell-fish. It is not a small thing, you know, that will disturb a philosopher in his reveries, and this animal evidently having the cogitation and enquiry of a virtuoso, which led me to call it so, is of the same retired and absent mind, in- tent only on the nature and properties of things be- fore it. I had thought to put my hand across its neck that it might""not bite ; but just as I was going to lay hold of it, I became sensible of a musky smell, and retired. But, on reflecting since, I am disposed to think this may be what philosophers mean by instincty of which this animal has a great share, even coming up to a degree of reason ; be this as it may, I am considering what notice it might be proper to take of this wild creature. As it discovers the same taste, Gazette Publications, 263 would it be exceptionable to introduce it as a member of your institution ? if you admit, as is said, in some instances, men with the ignorance of beasts why not beasts with the sagacity of men ? this is well known to have been done in almost all societies, literary or otherwise, that have been formed. I say nothing of Caligula, who made his horse a senator ; for that be- ing in a despotic monarchy, ought not to be a prece- dent in a free government. In this day of lightness and vanity, when all men are attempting wit, and so many hit it, it may be thought that my account of this beast, is not the nar- ration of a plain truth, but allegorical ; and that, by it, I have some individual in my eye of the human species, who has been admitted into your body. I declare I mean no such thing : it is really and abso- lutely a beast. This being averred, it may be thought that I mean to treat with ridicule this respectable so- ciety, in proposing it as a member. Far am I from any thing of this kind ; I have no such intention. It is true, that, until lately, I could not have believed, that learning or understanding was not a prerequisite of admission ; but this was owing to my extravagant ideas of philosophic pride and dignity ; which ideas I had drawn from my reading the old books, and con- versing with Archimedes and Newton, Pythagoras and Boyle ; with the schools of the ancients, and the societies of modern Europe ; but had not considered your body, and observed that it was composed of he- terogenous materials ; that with a latitude becoming philosophers, and in a spirit truly catholic, you admit all. In accomplishment of the words of the scripture, " Jew and Gentile are brought in ; the middle wall of partition is broken down ;" the illiterate and the in- capable of knowledge are introduced. Nay, if any are excluded, they are the more intelligent ; so that your mysteries are hid from the " wise and prudent, and revealed unto babes." I have had no life with my man Paddy ever since 264 Gazette Publications^ the admission of Orie before mentioned ; for he wili be in too ; he thinks he knows a« much as Orie, and I believe he does ; but, by the bye, they are both as ignorant as my horse ; yet, that being no materia! objection, I would give him leave, \yere it not that I cannot convinently spare his time. I have a great many things to do in the evenings, such as running errands and the like, so that I cannot conveniently permit him to be out of the way. It will be a great disappointment to him, if I do not give him leave, for be has been preparing a memoir for several days past, tho*, by the bye, he has had the assistance of *one of your body ; it is on the colour of whiskey, which, you know, is the aqua rmrabilis of the ancients. I am told that a jug of it has been found in the ruins of Herculaneum. If there is any of your body that understands the quality of that liquor, I wish to God you would send him over to Italy, to see if there is any more of it, for being upwards of a thousand years old, it must be rare stuff indeed. After what is said, there can be no one who will imagine that I disapprove of this free ingress which is given to all men, especially the ignorant, by your so- ciety, for it is meet that such should be instructed. Besides, unless those of all kinds of knowledge, from the highest to the lowest parts of nature, are present, how should your institution answer the great end of collecting and communicating general information ? (Cxtera desimt.J Gazette Fuhllcat'iom. 2G5 Fragment of a sermon delivered to a section OF, THE American army, after the Decla- ration OF Inpepdndence at Morristown New-Jersey, in 1776. THERE are two ways in wliicb a iTian may ooDtribute to the defence of his country : by the tongue to speak, or the hand to act. To rouse with words and animate with voice is the province of the Orator. To execute with promptitude, and resolu- tion is that of the soldier. Tiiese mutually subserve : and assist each other. Shall a sheep skin beat upon; ! or shall the air reverberating from the cavity of a ; fife brace the nerves, swell the mind, and rouse to action ; and shall not the human voice coming to tlie \ heart, witJi thought as well as sound, produce a still ■ stronger eftect. ) What was it that roused Baruch, a Jewish captain, I' to attempt the deliverance of lis ccunti y ? It was \ the tongue of the female oratoress, Deborah. At her words the hero arose and ten thousand swords \ were drawn for battle. Ttn thousand s~iVord& dncend- t cdfrom mount Tabor^ at the gleam of which, fled the k mighty host, and nine hundred chariots of Sisera. \ In the earliest times, and amongst all nations, the \- man of speech appears to have been the companion ; of the hero. What coidd old Nestor do in buttle, V with a feeble arm and failing foot ? but as the chap- :Unn of Agamemnon's army, great v/as the service he ^rendered in counseling obedience, and exliorting to ';:^tlie combat. In the Peloponesian wars of Greece, when U;e I^a- • cedcmoniims, I v order of the oracle, sent to Athens Z 26 G Gazette PiihUcatiom. "for a general,- that disdainful Republic sent them, \\\ derijon, Tyrtxus, a chaplain ; lame in l;is feet di- minutive in his person. What was the event ? by his discourses which he composed in verse, he rous- ed tlie Spartans to the noblest ardor, and though not a soldier or general himself, he gave soul and anima^ tion to those that v/ere. An irresistable enthusiasm, was kindled by his words ; the enemy were vanquish- ed in every battle, and the Athenians too late were convinced of their error, in furnisljng their rival with a leader so formidable.' Great is the pov/er of speech. What did not De- rnosthenes do at a later age ? The Athenians after the Persian victories, bad become luxuiious, and ef- feminate. \et even these did he rouse to conquer the Macedonian phalanx. Well said Pnillipof him : " I regard not the Thebcin foot, or the Iliyrian Iiorse so much as the lightnhig of that orator." The Athe- nians were effeminate, luxurious and averse from Avar ; yet at a single adjuration of the orator, swear- ing by those who fell at Marathon and Platea, as in oll.'er cases he would have sworn by the immortal c^ods themselves, there was produced a delirium of the brain, a madness, an impetuosity of valor. To war ! To war ! was the word ; and at the battle of Charonea which took place, it may be said to have been his voice which rendered, for a long time du- bious, a contest for the liberties cf Greece. But my voice is w^eak, my powers are feeble ; and ] need the apology of there being none better that of- fers, to fill tlie place in which 1 officiate. But tliough an orator of no waking powers, it seems to me I dream a little of what has been possessed by others. The Druids were the chafilainn of our ancestors a- mong the Germans. These by their words incited to war, and inspired tlie valor of the combatants. The Bards were the chafilains of the aborigines of Britain. O ! Ossian bard of Fingal I Could I have heard thy voice in selnia, hall of Shells, rousing to 1 Gazette Pid licatioiis, 267 iriar'.ial deeds by thy m:\:.;lc Vv'ords, ev^n I v/ho am bu6 u mm oCtiie ji^own, and do not mix in b.ittlc, musit liiive caugiit th« inudncss and nisiicd to War. Those tlier.e two rivers at their junction, forming the Ohio, in pros-^ pect. Occupying the verge of the hill they were ad* dressed as follows* Compatriots ; a union of nine states has takeft place, and you are now citizens of a new empire : an empire not the effect of chance, nor hewn out by the sword ; but formed by the skill of sages, and the de- sign of wise men. Who is there who does not spring in height, and find himself taller by the circumstance? For you have acquired superior stature, you are be* come a great people. Man is not born for himself only, he ought to serve Others; yet liow can he serve himself or others, but by means of a happy government ? rare art ! tixceilent science! All that is good and great amongst men ; all that is happy and illustrious, springs from thee ! Moses led a people from the wilderness ; Romu- lus built a city, and Numa gave it laws ; the sages of Greece laid the foundation of Republics ; but had these the experience of ages, for their guide ? or combating v/ith the preconceived opinions of men, were they able to establish what they had in view ? Existing in the infant) of the nation. w!iat could they do more than frame a model, commensurate with its territory. Remaining small, unable to re- ^7i2 Gazette Publication^* sist impression, and conjoined with no neij^hoouring; body, it was crushed by others. Becominir extensive^ it exceeded the plan ot the founder, and like a cone placed on the vertical pcint,yf// by its oum nvnght. Subdivisions in u small government were unneces- sary; ia a great one they could not be effected. And who ever heard that an excellent machine could be formed of one wheel .^ republics of America, I con- template you as I do the globes of heaven, roUinpj eacli in your several orbits ; yet bound by eternal laws not to recede from, nor approach the centre. You are yourselves illustrious, but you form a system by an union of your powers ; a union not inconsistent with your subordination, yet firmly and undeviating- ly securing your attachment to the whole. The Am^ phytrionic counsel ; the Achaean league, the late confederation came short of this. Yet this noble fabric rises as it were from the mar- shy ground ; instabilis terra, inabilis unda. Aiuidst popular opinions and the discord of states, it ascends and acquires a solid foundation by its own weight. Noble pile ! on the four sides of tny pedestal are the names of the patriots wlio framed thee. At a distance are the shades of Plato, Montesquieu, cjid Hume. Tliey rise from Elysium and contemplate a structure, which they may have imagined, but could never have expected to see upon the earth. Thy base over- spreading our extensive tract of country, is brosder than the pyramids of Egypt. Tliy age bids iuir to outlast their date. In vain shall the rains beat upon thee, and the elemental fury of the winds. But who are those fell monsters who growl at the shadow of thy structure. They are the opponents of the new system. Ignorance where is thy cave i whence do thy fogs and thy vapours arise ? What inferior race is that which crovk along the bog ? animals w iiich live by the credulity, the want of discernment, and the changing temper of the po-' pulace. Ranx palustres, frogs of the marsh, local Gazette Publications. £73 demagogues, insklicus declaimers, yonr pcnd is about to be dri'jd up, no more amongst the weeds, itnd in the muddy fiuid, shall you lift your lioarse voice. The marsli is divined, the dome aspires and tise bright tinges of the risinp^ day gild its summits. (Ths rctth 'U.'antir^.J n«KZ»0^ January 18, 1794. I HAVE just read, published by order of the l.oiiGe of representatives, the correspondence of the minister of 1^" ranee with our executive. The first sub-? ject is a proposition of Genet, that the United States, should pay off the debt to France at once, which would be received in provisions, warlike stores, &c. Or in notes issued by the government so as to be re- ceivable at specie value in the purcliase of these arti- cles. Or, if the whole of the debt should not be paid off at once, at least a proportion of it, beyond the an- nual instalments as already settled. It was answered by the executive, that this would be undertaking more than the fiscal arrarigemenls made could support ; and an attem.pt to anticipate the revenue, so fur from enabling to dischan^e more of the debt in a given time, v-cukl endanger our pay- ment of the instalments at the times stipulated. On this I remark that it was no doubt, the truth, counting on the funds already provided, but it would have seemed to me a proposition to have justified the .executive to have called a meeting of the congress, to consider whether it might not have been practicable, or expedient to have devised some new fund to give this extraordinary assistance to France. I cannot doubt but such is the entluisiasm of the mass of the people for the cause cf our ally, as to have induced 274 Gazette Publications. them, I \\\\\ not say, to have submitted to, but to have embraced^ almost any tax for eo glorious an object. The second subject of moment ^vl.ich this corres* pondence embraces, is the construction of the trea- lies, between France and us, witli respect to tl\eir TiLyht to arm antl equip vessels of wr.r in our ports. This depends upon upon the construction of the 22 J article of the treaty of alliance, ^v^ich is in these v/ords : " it shall not be lawful for any forei^'n priva- teers not belon^^ing to subjects of the most christian Kin.i^, nor citizens of the United States, who have commissions from any prince or state in enmit/ ^vith ei'her nation to fit out their ships in the ports of either ihe one or tiie oth.er of the afore- said parties." It was contended by Genet, that by irapiicalion a li^ht is j^iven to France, and agreeably to that idea he had actually proceeded to arm, aiid commission vessels in our ports. Hence altercation and difference with the minister, and our exciutivji', so far as to induce a demand, to the executive of France of a recal of Genet, i am sorry, bei}ig an enthusiast for the cause of France, to be under the necessity of sayin;^ that Genet is not su])portable in his construcii'jn of the article ; and that his conduct may have laid a foundation of a misunderstanding between France and us, unless the n.uion that appoints him has more judgment and temperance than himself. I shall not be thought under any bias in gi\in^- this opi- nion, when I declare / am for taking a part in tht war wiih France. But my principle is, that a mea- sure of this kind shall be the result of a national deli- beration, and not the consequence of dii-ect aggres- sion, in violation of good faith, so long as it is under- stood that we are at peace. I am for taking apart in the war 'Aiih 1 ranee, not only on the principle of fa- vouring the cause of liberty, but on thai ofsclffireaer- Tauouy and national firosperity. 1 have no doubt but that on condiiion of our making it a common cause, our ally would assist us in the reduction of Canada, Gazette Puhdieations* 275 find to drive the Spaiuards out of thf. tivo Florida^ ; The first, a great object, as giving peace with the sa- vages: the second, as opening the Missisbippi to our trade. But would we be justifiable in taking part with France ? i should tldnk so. If kings combine to support kings, why not republics to support repub- lics ? As to Britain there h> no difficulty of justifyinpj a war against her, inasmucii as she had never yet laid doivn the tomahanvk and scaljdng knifr^ and been at peace iviih us. — But could we serve France by taking part in the war ? doubtless ; Uiigalively ; by not purciia>>ing liic manufactures of Britain ; and posiiivcly by captures -of them wlicn about to be transported to others The clamour of manufacturers and merciiunts at home, would soon work peace to France and us both, But 1 condemn the conduct of Genet, as involving in war, in a manner dishonorable to us and unjustifiable^ anrl I admire the mocierution and good sense with which our executive has replied to the errors ut his judgment, the unfairness of his insinuations, the vio- lence of iiis invectives. *' I thought hiim ill-used in the noise that was made ' about liis saying '< That he luauld a/i/ieal lo the peo/de." Why not ? Have not the fieopk a nght to recei-ve his apfii^al ?* If so, l:e has a right to make it. it was no interfering in internal affairs, wiien the question re- spected a matter between nation and nation. It was external. I was angry at him, that he should consi- der it as a slander to have it reported of him ; I say * The same point has been lately made in the case of the Spanish minister, D' Vrujo. It would seem to me also in liis case, that he had a rig] it to be heard by the sovereign the people ; or rather it was their righi to hear ; but I should like to see this question examined. 276 Gazette Piiblieatlons. he had a right to appeal ; but he ought to hav^ been sure that when the appeal was made, it would not be decided against him. I must for my part, contrary to all the wishes of my heart, find him t^uiity of injuring, by his impru- dence, and as it appears to me, astonishing want of judgment, the cause which I am persuaded he had the best intentions to serve. The following in answ^er undeh another signature. February 1st, 1794. THE observations on the correspondence of the nvinister of France with our executive, pubiisliec in the last Gazette, discover a warmth of attjictjmtnt to the French cause highly pleasing to every man in ti is country. Perhaps the severity of expression applied to Genet, however supportable on a rigorous con- struction of facts, may be greater than there is any necessity for using. Considering the industry and zeal with which every sentiment, iind measure of our executive is supported and impressed by town meetings and addresses, from New-Hamp- shire to Georgia, and all the outcry of courtly ga- zettes ; there .seems iittle reason to fear that their conduct, wiil want either approbation or respect. To me the danger seems to be on tlie other side ; tr.at -we shall forget the nature of their authority, and mis- td;e proclamation for law. What but this spirit could have magnified the ajifieal to the people^ into so forniidciblc an ofiV-nce. Silly as the observations shew it to have been, it was trumpeted all ever the conli- nent ; and the address would have been wanting in Gazette Publications, 277 loyalty, wliich, with an approbation of the Injunction to neutrality, did not reprobate the appeal. I have no intention of entering into any lengthy or elaborate dissertation, but only to make a few loose remarks. The disputed article of the treaty is, to say the least of it, ambiguously expressed. It is what the logicians call a negative jircgnant. A denial implying the con- firmation of a contrary assertion ; and 1 have un- derstood that some of professional rank, explicitly as- sert, that Genets construction is right. The treaty was made between France in prosperi- ty and America in. distress. What construction of a doubtful article will France, in distress, expect from America in prosperity. The struggles of the two nations are in tlie same cause; liberty and right, against tyranny and oppres- sion, a sympathy might have been expected though at some expe-nce. If the article is now made clear and Genets con- struction of it appears erroneous, this elucidation is the result of a nice complex concatenation of argu- ments and comparisons. It arises not immediately and of course out of the v/ords themselves. The minister of a nation whose existence depends on the destruction of precedents is excusable if he mistook the meaning of an article, whose meaning, precedents must in a great degree, determine. Any man is excusable, who knowing Americans only in their war with Britain, should conclude that it is their principle to sacrifice interest to liberty. (The remainder is "yvantlng.) A A 278 Gazette Publications. Ideas at the interment of Mrs. Bedford, THE WIFE OF DoCTOR NATHANIEL BeDFORD OF Pittsburgh, July 9th, 1790. Whether the spirit, cloth survive The body ; and doth live, In the Elysium of the Greeks, Or Heaven of which the Christian speaks g I know not ; but, if there be. Such immortality* to thee or me. Fair shade ; this thing call'd death, And the mere stoping of the breathy Not being to oblivion brought, Is a light matter in the scale of thought, And not the proper subject of a tear. Why then such shape of Melancholy here, And chrystal distillation of the eye ? Is it because the form that there doth lie. Was passing pleasing in her life. And none so fair and virtuous doth survive t Fair ladies, I will not say none j Nor even with the dead induce comparison t But this will say ; The soul that animated that same clay, * The desfiondent mind mnll doubt at times ; but iv/ifre there /« ho/ie, there must be faith. Gazette Pithlicatians* 270 Was wise and Good, With every excellence^ endtied, That could the ses enalt i Without a fdble or a fault i Uncensur'd and uncensiimble ; Her exit answerable : For pure as Innocence and love. She felt the will of Jove, With proper fortitude complied And like an unstain'd lily drop'd her head 2,y\Ci. died. AT the time of the battle of Bunker Hill, (1775,) I was master of an Academy on the Eastern Shore of Maryland, and wrote the following for an exercise to be performed by ihe Youth of the Seminary, and which was shortly after published. PROLOGVEy Br Colonel Jonn Park, of The Jme^ RICAN ARMr, THIS mighty Mr2L big with dread alarms, Aloud calls each American to arms. Let evVy Breast witJi martial ardor glow, N-or dread to meet the proud usurping foe. VThdii tho' our bodies feel an earthly chain, Still the free soul, unblemish'd and serene 280 Gazette Publications. Enjoys a mental Liberty, — i— — a charm, Beyond the power of fate itself to harm. Should vict'ry crown us in the doubtful strife Eternal honours mark thg hero's life. • Should Wounds and slaughter be our htfple?3 doom Unfading laurels deck the Martyr's Tomb : ■A sure rev/ard awaits his soul on high, On earth his memory shall never die. For wlien we read the fatal story o'er, One tear shall drop for him who is- no more. Who nobly struegled to support cur laws, And bravely fell in freedom's sacred cause Let virtub fire us to the martial deed ;. "We fight to conquer and we dare to bleed : Witness ye fathers ! whose protracted time, Fruitful of story, chronicles the clime. These howling deserts, hospitably tame, Erst snatch'd you martyrs, from the hungry flame ; *Twas Hcav'n's own cause, beneath wliose shell- 'ring power. Ye grew tiie wonder of this present hour Tiie task — be curs with unremitted toil, To guard the riglits of this dear-purchas'd soil. From Royal plund'rers, greedy ef our spoil, Who come resolv'd to murder and enslave, To shackle Ireemex and to rob the brave. The loud mouth'd cannon threaten from afar, Be this our comfort in the storm of war Wiio. fights, to take our liberty away, Dead-hearted lights, and falls an easy prey. Then, on my brethren to the embattl'd plain, Vv'ho shrinks with fear, anticipates a chain. }i Gazette Publications* 261 THE BATTLE OF BUNKERS HILL, (called also the BArrLE OF Breed's Hill.*) DRAMATIS PERSONiS, Warren^ PufNAM, Gardiner. } Jmerjcan Offjce6'J. Gags, "*) HowE^ I BuRGorNE, Y British OffjcerjL CLJNroN, I Lord PiGor.j Sherjvjn, Aid-de^Caw^i to General HQ*v^e, Soldier Sf l?^c, * 7">i/« dramatic thing' is extremely Juveniie ; l^Ut ♦w account of having some connection with the revo-' lution^ and shelving the part early taken by me in it, J have thought firoper to collect it as a ecrafi of tfiXi-t period. Aft. 282 Gazette Publicatians. ACT I. SCENE I. Camp Af Cambridge. Mnter Warren, Putnam, and Gardiner^ Warren. Why this inglorious inactivity , And leave the famish'd* city to the foe ; Kor turn our vengeance on relentless Gage ? Perfidious rhan I Who piedgM his oath so late, And word of honour to those patriots Yet in his power, that yielding him their arms,t , They should receive permission to depart, And join once more their valiant countrymen; But now detains as hostages these men. In low damp dungeons, and in gaols chained doww, While grief and famine on their vitals prey. Say noble Putnam, shall we hear of this, And let our idle swords rust in the sheath. While slaves of Royal Power impeach our wortU As vain, and call our patience cowardice ? Putnam. Not less bold Warren have I felt the pang* Of woe severe in this calamity : And could I with my life redeem the times, The richest blood that circles round my heart, Should'hastily be shed. But v/hat avails The genuine flame and vigour of the soul, * The inhabitants Jit to bear arms havijig left the city, a7id the communication being cut offvnth the coun^ try, the iuo?nen and cliildren ivere in ivant of firovi" sions, and in a starving conditioji, t This refers to a fact 'ivell knoivn in the history of the time. Gazette Publications* ,283 When nature's self, and all the strength of art. Opposes every eftbrt in our power ? These sons of slavery dare not advance, And meet in equal light our hostile arms. For yet they well remember Lexingto;^, And what they suffer*d on that rueful day, When wantoning in savage rage, they march'd Onward to Concord, in a firm array, Mock music playing, and the ample flag Of ty-ranny display*d j but with dire loss And infamy driven back, they gainM the towiiy And under cover of their ships of war, Retir'd, confounded and dismay'd. No more In mirthful mood to combat us, or mix Their jocund music with the sounds of war. To tempt no more unequal fight with men, Who to oppose an arbitrary sway, Have grasp'd the sword ; and resolute to brav^ Death in his dreary shapes, can know. In the warm breast, no sentiment of fear* Gardiner. The free bom spirit of immortal fire Is stranger to ignoble deeds, and shuns The name of cowardice.. But well thy mind, Sage, and matured by long experience, weighar The perilous attempt, to storm the town. And rescue thence, the suffering citizens. For but one pass to that peninsula. On which the city stands, on all sides barred. And here what numbers can supply the rage, Of the all devouring, deep mouth*d cannon, plac'd. On many a strong redoubt ; While on each side, The ships of war, moor*d, in the winding bay, Can sweep ten thousand from the level beach, " And render all access impregnable." Warren. True valiant Gard'ner, the attempt is vain, To force that entrance to the sea-girt town j j884 Gazette Pubucatioa^,' Which while we hop*d fbr peace, and in that view^ Kept back our swords, we aaw thtm fortify. But what if happily, with a chosen few, Led through the midnight shades, yon heights werfe gain'd, And that contiguous hill, whose grassy foot, By Mystick's gentle tide is wash'd. Here rais*d^ Strong batt'ries jutting o'er the level sea, With everlasting thunder, shall annoy Their navy far beneath ; and in some lucky hour, When dubious darkness on the land is spread, A chosen band may pierce their separate fleety And in swift boats, across the. narrow tide, Pour like a flame* on their unguarded ranks, And wither them : As when an Angel smote, The Assyrian camp. The proud Sennacherib; With impious rage, against the hill of God, Blasphem'd. Low humbl'd, when the dawning ligl^t. Saw all his host dead men : So yet I trust. The God of battles, will avouch our cause, And those proud champions of despotic power, Who turn our fasting to their mirth, and mock Our prayers, naming us the Saints, shall yet, Repay with blood, the scorn they cast upon us, Putnam. Heaven favour this attempt. Now from our troopjf, Seven hundred gallant men, and skill'd in arms, With speed select, choice spirits of the war. By you, led on, brave Gard'nek, to the heights, E're yet the morn, with dawning light breaks fort]^ Intrench on Bunkers Hill ; and when the day, First, o'er the hill top rises, we shall join United anus, against the assailing foe, Should they attempt to cross the narrow tide, In deep battalion to regain the hill, Gardiner. The thought is perilous, and many men, In this bold enterprize, must strew the groyii^^ i Gazette Puhl'icatiom. ^^% But since we combat in the cause of God, *^' I draw my sword, nor shall the sheath a!2^ain» Receive the shining blade, till on the heights, It drinks the blood of many a warrior slain. ACT II. SCENE I. TtlL ENV2K0NS OF J3oS7'C^\ Enter Scotch Officers in conversation, Cafitain M^Intyre. I dinna know that I should like to marry ane o' these Am^erican ladies ; they would breed savages and spoil the bluide o* the M'Intyres. Cafitain M'-Alpin. I wad nae stop to many twa or three o' them when their husbands are kiii'd, as they will a' be shortly. Ccfualn Bunnatin. It is a strange thing that we should come here to quell a rebellion, when we used to hae enough o* them at hame in our ain kintra. Cafitain Jajfies'on. I dinna like a rebel; they should be a* hang*d, Or put in the Talbooths. Lieutenant Paterson. Dinna walk sae far that way, Captain. Some o* their rifle men may take sight at ye, and shoot ye through the lug-, frae the back o' ane o' these dikes. We had a gude many kill'd tliat way the day o* Lexinton-. Cafitain Pink^rton. Dinna ye see Colonel Rybuni farther off the town than we are, and these about him ? He seems to be stepping off the ground as he -Wad measure land for a bigging. Colonel By bum. I will hae a house here like the Duke o' Argyle*s at Inverra. That nuke o' land there will make a calf pasture. When these rebels are a' han*gd, 1*11 settle mysel down here and send hame for a gardner, and twa or three masons. I sal hae a kuke frae France ; a waiting man frae Sv/isserland, and a musician frae Italy. 286 Gazette Pubjcations. Cafitain Brolochan. I wad nae gi a tune o' the bag> pipe for a* their orchestra. I dinn» like the Italian -scrapes. Colonel. There, will be a gude place for a park like Lord Haddin^^ton*s. I shall hae it weel stock'd wi deer, and a pond in the laigh ground to keep fish in. ,/ Cafitain. Ye need na make a pond ; ye hae the sea just by to gi ye fish. Colonel. Aye ; but the sea fish are no fresh fisfi. The gentry in vScotland a'hae a pond. SCENE II. Bos f OK. Enter Gage, Howe, and BuRGOTlfE. BURGOYNE. How long brave gen'rals, shall the rebel foe. In vain arrangements, and mock sieg^e, display, Their haughty insolence ? Shall hi this towjt, So many thousands, of Britannia's troops, With watch incessant, and with toil opprcss'd, Remain besieg'd ? Avetr'an army pent. In the inclosure, of so small a space, By a disorder'd herd, untaught, unofficerM. Let not the mouth of a detracting fame, With breath malignsnt, o*er the Atlantic wave, Bear this to Europe's shores, or tell to i ranee. Or haughty Spain, of Lexington's retreat. Who could have thought it, in the course of things That British soldiers, in this latter age, Beat back by peasants, and in flight disgrac'd, Could tamely brook the base discomfiture ; Nor sallying out, with spirit reassum'd, Redeem'd defeat and challenge victory ? Drive back the foe, to Alleghany hills, In woody vallies, or on mountain tops, To mix with wolves and kindred savages. I I Gazette Publications. 287 Gage. This paradox -will soon resolve itself. Heal* first, Burgoyne, the valour of these men. Fir'd with the zeal, of fiercest liberty, No fear of death', so terrible to all. Can stop their rage. Grey-headed clergymen, With holy bible, and continual prayer, Bear up their fortitude — and talk of heav*n, And tell them, that the soul, who dies in battle, Shall walk, with spirits of the just. These words, Add valour to their rage, and hurry them Impetuous to war. Nor yet in arms Unpractised. The day of Lexington, A sad conviction gave our soldiery, That these Americans, were not that herd, .^ And rabble rout, we represented them. Howe. Not strange to your maturer thought, Burgoy^te^ This matter will appear. A people brave, Who never yet, of luxury, or soft Dehghts, effeminate, and false, have tasted. But, through hate of chains, and slav'ry imaginM, Forsake their mountain tops, and rush to arms. Oft have I heard their valour, published : Their perseverance, and untaraeable Fierce mind, when late they fought with us, ancl ? drove. The Frtnch encroaching on their settlements, Back to their frozen lakes. Or when with us On Cape Breton, they stormed Louisburg. With us in Canada, they took Quebec ; And at the Havannah, these New-Engxand mejJ; Led on by Putman, acted gallantly. I had a brother once, who in that war, With fame commanded them, and when he fell, Not unlamented;; for these warriors. So brave tliemselves, and sensible of merit. Elected him a costly monument ; Aud much it grieves me that I draw my sword, ^1 288 Gazette Puhlkamm, '^ For this late insurrection, and revolt, To chastise them. Would to Almighty G^od) The task unnatural, had been assign'd, . Else where. But since by Heaven, determined. Let's on, and wipe the day of Lexington, Thus soird, quite from our soldiers memoriest This reinforcement, which with us have sa^l'd, In many a transport, from Britannia's shores^ Will give.new vigour to the.Royal Arms, And crush rebellion, in its infancy. Let's on, and from this si^ge, calamitous, Assert our liberty ; nay rather die, Transfix'd in battle, by their bayonets. Than thus remain, the scoff, and ridicule Of gibing wits, and paultry gazetteers. On this, their maddhig continent, who cry, Where is the British valour : that renown Which spoke in thutider, to the .GalUc shores ? That spirit is evaporate, .that fire ; Which erst distinguish'd them, that flame ; And gen'rous energy of soul, which fiil'd. Their Henry's, Edwards, thuuder-bolts of war ; Their Hampdens, Marlboroughs, & immortal Wolfe, On the Abraham heights, victorious. Britannia's genius, is unfortunate, Ai^d flags say they, when Royal tyranny Directs her arms. This let us then disprove, In combat speedily, and take from them, The wantonness of this fell pride, and boasting, Gax5e. Tho* much I dread the isisue of the attempt, So full of hazard, and adventurous spirit ; Yet since your judgment, and high skill in arms, From full experience, prompts, I give my voice, and when one day hath pass*d, In whose swift hours, may be wrought, up, The resolution, of the soldiery. With soothing words, and ample promises. Onzette Publications, 289 Of rich rewards, in lands and settlements, .From the confiscate property throughout, These rebel colonies, at length subdu'd ; Then march we fonh, beat up their drowsy camp. And with the sun, to this safe capitol. Return, rich, with the triumphs of the war. And be our plan, that which brave Haldiman, I-^'re yet recall'd, adxis'd to us. I^et first. Brave Howe, and Clinton, on that western point, I^hkI with the transports, and mean time Burgoyke, \'^11li the artillery, pour sharp cannonade, Alon^ the neck, and sweep that beachy plain, Which lies to Roxbouough, where yon western stream. Flowing from Cambridge, mixes with the Bay. Thus, these Americans, shall learn to dread, The force of dkcipline, and skill in arms. SCENE III. American Camp. Militia man. It was not the sum of tlie tax, but the princij3le that induced us to resist. The tax on tea was but an entering wedge. Grant this and all follows. It is the beginning of usurpation that must be resisted. 2nd Militia man. The right to tax the Colonies in all cases ivhat*oever is the claim on the part of Great Britain. 1st Militia man. The war is at least just, let the event be what it may, 2nd Militia man. And I think it necessary, let the event be what it may. 1st Militia man. Being both just and necessary, it- must in the end be successful. Bb 1 ^90 Gazette PulUcatlons. SCENE IV. Enter Gardiner, ivith Seven Hundred M^n. Gardiner. This is the hill, brave countrymen, whose brow We mean to fortify. A strong redoubt, Be speedily thrown up. Let each himself, Not underserving, of our choice approve, For out of thousands, I have challeng*d you. To this bold enterpiize, as men of might, .' And valour eminent, and such this day, I trust, will honour you. Let each his spade, And pick-axe, vigorously, in this hard soil, Where I have laid the line, exert. The orient stur, briglit Lucifer, Peers on ttie firmament, and soon the day, Flush'd v/ith the golden sun, shall visit us. Then gallant countrymen, should faithless Gage, Pour forth his lean, and half starv*d myrmidons j We*il make them taste our catridgts, and know, Whot rugged steel, our bayonets are made of; Or if o'er charg'd, with numbers., bravely fall, Like those three hundred at Tkermopyi.^, And give our Country, credit in our deaths. ACT III. SCENE I. Enter BuKGOYNE. The rebel foe, grown yet, more insolent^ By tf jt tmalJ loss, or rout, at Lexington, Prevent our purpose and the nighi by-pust, Have push'd intrcnchmcnts, and some flim.sy works. With rude ytthievf^njirnt on tie rocky brow, Of tiiat tall j:ill. A sliip-Loy, witli the day, From tl e tall mtsst-head, of the Admin,!, Descry*d t;:ciraim, ind gave the swift ah rm. Our glasses mark, but one ^mall regiment there, Gazette Puhllcatiom. 291 Vet, ev'iy hour we lanqnish in delay, Inspires fresh hope, and nllsthci/ pig'my souls, "With thoughts of holding it. You hear the sound Of spades and pick-axes, upon the hill, Like Vulcan's forge, urg'd by the Cyclops. Enter Howe. To your alarm posts, officers ; com? gallant mefi, Let's out, and drive them from that eminence, On which the fje, doth earth liimself. I relish not, such haughty neighbourhood. Give orders, swiflly, to the Admiral, That some stout ship lieave nptlie narrow b.iy. And pour indignant, from the full-tide wave, i^ierce cannonade, across the iothmua point, *ro cut o^ reinforcements. SCENE 11. The Roll Call. Duncan INI-CIeod, Neil M'Murrochy, Roderick M'Kinney, Sanders IM'Laughlin, Gregory M'Gregor, Sec. Sec. Sec. Enter Adjutant. Recover arms — To tlie right about fiice — March-^ It is not a time to be calling rolls, when the enemy are on the hill head, and we have orders to form« There will be about a score of rebels a piece to us, and w^ shall make short work with them. 292 Gazette Publications. SCENE III. Howe ivith the Bridsh Anny. Howe. The day at length, propitious shews itself And with full beams of majesty, the sun, Hath blesftM, its fair nativity ; when Heavetiy Brave soldiers, and the cause of kings, Calls on the spirit of your loyalty, To chastise this rebellion, and tread down, Such foul ingratitude — such monstrous shape^ Of horrid liberty, which spurns that love — That fond maternal tenderness of soul. Which on this dreary coast, first planted them : Restrain'd the rage, of murdering savages. Which, with fierce inroad, on their settlements. Made frequent war — struck down the arm of France, Just rais'd, to crush them, in their infancy : And since that tinae,. have bade their cities grov/, To marts of trade: call'd fair-eyM commerce forth. To share dominion, on the distant wave, And visit every clime, and foreign shore. Yet this, brave soldiers, is tlie proud return. For the best blood of England, shed for them. Behold yon hill, where fell rebelliGn rears. Her snake-streamM ensign, and would seem to brave V/ith scarce seven hundred, this sea-bound Camp, Where may be counted, full ten thousand men, That in the war with France so late, acquired Loud fame, and sliook tlie other continent. Come on brave soldiers, seize your gleaming arm:-. And let this day, in after times be held, As Minden famous, and each hostile field, \v'here British vijour, shone victorious. The time moves slow, v/i;ich enviously detains, Our just resentment from these traitors heads.. Their richest farms,, tuad c.Uiltar*d. settlements,. • 1 I Gazette Publications. ^3 By winding river, or extensive bay, Shall be your first reward. Our noble king As tliing^s confiscate, holds their property, And in rich measure, will bestow on you, Who fdce the frowns, and labour of thjs day, He that outlives this battle, shall ascend, In titled honour, to the height of state, Dukedoms, and baronies, midst these our foes, In tributary vassalage, kept down, • Shall be your fair inheritance. Come on. Beat up th' heroic sound of war. The word, is Georgx our sov'reigfj, and Britannia's arms. SCENE IV. BuNKERS-HlLL. Warren ivifh the American Army ^ Warren. To arms, brave countrymen, for see the foe, Comes forch to battle, and would seem to try, Once more, their fortune in decisive war. Three thousand, 'gainst seven huudred,- r^ig*d this' Shall give the world, aft atftple specimen, What strength, and daring confidence, the sound, Of Liberty inspires. That Liberty, Which, n6t the thunder of Beilona*s voice, With fleets, arid armies, from the British Shore> Sail wrest from us. Our noble ancestors, Out-brav'd the tempests, of the hoary deep, And on these hills, uncultivate, and wild. Sought an asyham, from despotic sway \ A short asylum, for that envious poweF, With persecution dire, still follows us. At first, they deemM our charters forfeited. Next,-i6\ir just rights^ in government, abridged. Bb3' 294 Gazette Publications, Then, thrust in viceroys, and bashaws, to ml^/ With lawless sovereignty. Now added force, Of standing armies, to secure their sway. Much, have we sufFer'd fram the iicens'd ragCj Of brutal soldiery, in each fair town.- The 5th of March, brave countrymen, that day When Boston's streets ran blood, remember, And let the memory, to revenge, stir up, The temper of your souls. There might we still. On terms precarious, and disdainful, liv^d, With daughters ravished, and butcher'd sons, But heaven, forbade the thought. These are the men. Who in firm phalanx, threaten us with war, And aim this day, to fix foreveTdown, The chains, v/hich haughty tyranny has forg'd for uv These count our lands and settlements their own, And in their intercepted letters, speak, Of farms, and tenements, secur*d for friends. Which, if they gain, brave soldiers, let with bIoo<^ TJie purchase, be seal'd down^ Let every arm. This day be actri'e, in fair freedom's cause. And shower down, from the hill, like Heav'n in wrath. Full store of lightninj^, and fierce iron hail, To blast the adversary. Let this ascent, Like burning jEtna or Vesuvius top. Be wrapt in flame—- The word is Lirertt, And Heaven smile on us, in so just a cause, SCENE IV. EuNliEUS-HlLL. . . Gardixer, Itad'ui^ itfi tht: Americq.n Army to the jgn:- gagement. Fear not, brave soldiers, tho' their infantry. In deep array, so far cut-numbers us. The justice of our cause, will brace each arm. And steel the soul with fortitude \ 'while they, Gazette Publications, 29S Whose guilt, hangs on their consciences, Must fail in battle, and receive that death, Which, in high vengeance, we prepai-e Tor them.. Let then each spirit, to tiie heij^^ht, wound up, Shew noble vigour, and full force this day. For on the merit, of our swords, is plac*d, The virgin honour, and true character. Of this whole Continent i and one short hour, May give complexion, to the whole event, Fixbig the judgment whether as base slaves, We serve these masters, or more nobly live, Free as the breeze, that on the hill-lop, plays, With these sweet fields, and tenements, our ow^. Oh fellow soldiers, let this battle speak, Dire disappointment, to the insulting foe, Who claim, our fair possessions, and set down. These cultur'd-farms, and bowry-hills, and piainsj As the rich prize, of certain victory. Shall we, the sons of MAssACHusEffs^ JVeh^'Hampshire, and Connecticut; shall we Fall back, dishonour'd, from our native plain?, Mix with the savages, and roam for food. On western mountains, or the desart shores, Of Canada's cold lakes ? or state more vile. Sit down, in humble vassalage, content • '"' To till the ground for these proud conqueror's ? No, fellow soldiers, let us rise this day, Emancipate, from such ignoble fate. And should the battle, rob us of our lives. Late time, shall give, an ample monument^ And bid her worthies^ emulate our fame* 296 Gazette Puhhcations, ACT IV. SCENE L Boston. The British Army being Reiiuh^d^ Sher^xin is dis^ patched to General Gage for jiasistance. Sherwin, Gage, Burcioyn'e, and Clinton'^ Sherwin. Our men advancing, have receiv'd much loss, In this encounter, and the case denaands, In the swift crisis, of extremity, A thousand men to reinforce the war. Gage. 'Tis yours, brave Clinton, to. comman- ed upon the legislature, by a party interested, and a repeal less easily procured. It would seem reasona- ble, therefore, that in the case of a special law, an appeal to the courts of justice should exist, where the party aggrieved can be heard by themselves, or by council ; and maintain a private right. Under the constitution of tlie Union, the individu- al states, will look to the jvidiciary of the Union, to be heard and protected from powers not given. They wiii look to their state judiciaries in tlie f.rst instance, where the jurisdiction is concurrent. No state, or citizen of a state, will say that they have not the bar- rier of a judiciary between them and the encroaclv mentsofthe Union. The judiciary of the Union must have these powers, or they cannot afford the protection. Under the constitution of the state, there mubt be the same rights to the parties to the compact. For, in the one case specified powers are given, in the other rights are reserved. But an individual of the state commonwealth, has not the s:irne power to as- sert right. For the body politic of a state lias more strength with regard to the U)iioi^, than a citizen vvit]^ regard to a state. The leicishuure of the Union will not dare to question the right of a state, or of the citizens of a state to an appeal from a law lo tjibuncls of lav. But the law-making power of a state can bear down this privilege, and it may be that a law of th.e administration, for the time-bein};:, cannot be resist- ed. But speaking of the power abstractedly consti- tutional, there can be no doul t. Taking it for grunted, then, that a power of tiiifi nature in the courts of juslice springs from the cor- Gazette Publications* 311 stitution, and is necessary for its preservation, it is eviient that it must be a clear case that will justify the use of it. A transgression of an express provisi- on of the constitution, an infraction obvious to every o^ne. Like the li,a;ht of the sun it must strike every observer. The judge who shall undertake to pro- nounce a law unconstitutional, must himself be well persuaded of it. He must nave no doubt. He must have such reasons before him as wih carry with them unanswerable evidence, and will force general con- viction. He must consider, thut what he undertakes, is to set aside an act of tiie legislature, and that for this, he, in fact, puts himself upon the country. THE MODERN CHEVALIER.* NOT far off hence there was a cabbin Inhabited by a gredt Rabbin, A weaver who had serv'd the state, "Which Chevalier did not know yet, And therefore having heard the loom, Just as he had that way come More out of humour than of ire Began to feel a great desire T' accost the manufacturer, And ask him what was tiolng there ; A breed that earth themselves in cellars. Like conjurors or fortune tellers ; Devoid of virtue and of mettle ; A sort of subterranean cattle, * This was written about the year 1788-9, and gave rise in the authors mind to a publication under the signature of Modem Chivalry. 312 Gazette PiLhltcatiom,. Of no account in church or state, Or ever tiiink of being great, As warriors oi- as politicians, But lurk in dungeons like magicians, Shi li such an animal disturb Quotii he, the peace of our suburb ? Or shall we drive him from his house, And give him two or three kicks or blows i Or is it best t' expostulate And reasoiiybly tie matter state, Why such inglorious life he leads ; And on alternate traddie treads ? Agreed ; for what is moderate, In ct)unbel has the greatest weighty And now advancing to the window Like lover to his Rosalinda, Addrtrss'd the mrtnufucturer. Or ;^'.s 't were whisptr'd in his ear, Vv ilh words mclifluous and speeches And parables, and far fUir fetches, His censure of the occupation : But take it as it was ; the oration. •" Believe me not a Knight uncourt'ous, Devoid oi mui<.; lug you to her ^^mours In low and hubterranean cl ambers, That t= us you jinger in sick ni^nsion, Where never latl the light ol sun shone ? Or worsted in some desperate wrangle, By GyiiUt, is your toot and ancle Enthral'd in bondagt p&st ur.icosjng ^ Or are you here of ) our own clusing ! And ibr ycur jiis'in.t trcac on tradtiles, As meu in water play with paddlesj "Gazette Publications. 515 #^r maidens on spinnets that warble ; Or harpsicord with grating ter'ble ? Is that a loom that stands before ye That keeps you from the walks of glory ? It ill befits that men whom nature, Hath favour'd wnth such parts r.nd feature, Should waste the taper of existence, In meaner arts, when their assistance Is wanted both in field and council, To help our politics at groundsell, And make some new and wholesome laws. Or is it reasonable those claws Should be employ*d in knotting threads ; Or oratorial slioulder blades Should work, to drive the texture close, Which else might in the Senate house, With proper gesture give just force To your expressions and discourse ? No doubt you have the eloquence, If we could but extract it thence, To bend the judgment and persuade And hit the right nail on the head ; For half the force of nature lies In latent powers and qualities Which but the art of men alone Or the occasion can make known. What is there in the orifice Of oral organ or of eyes, That you fhould only gape and stare^ Just fit to carry guts to a bear ? Arise and shake your slumber off; You have capacity enough j Assume your place in state affairs, .• And g-et up to the top o' th' stairs. Ti.e weaver sat and gap'd awhile, Astonish'd at unusual stile, \ And was preparing to reply With a new lustre in lis eve., D d' 314 Gazette Publications, When on the outside came a blow From unknown but unn'ktural loe. It was the weavers termagant Who overhearing the Kniglit's rant Did snatch a cud.ujel, and essay*d A blow upon his shoulder blade, Not to enable him with title, But to give vent t* her rage a little ; But missing upper, did alight Upon the postern of the Knight, For head in window and hat slouching He saw not this grey mare approaching, The better horse at least o' th' weaver And kept him in subjection ever. Quoth she, what raggamuffin this That comes to broach absurdities, And turn again the crazy head Of Traddle from his daily bread ; The business of his warp and woof, Who has already had enouRh Of politics and stuff, god knows, Since first the hurry scurry rose : The Devil burn tliem with hoi pincers, And scorch their knuckle joints and fingers, Who put it first in his conceiving To think of this, and quit his weaving, While customer is at the door And must have work done : what is more, In these affairs what does he know \ About as much as my brown cow. No wonder that am out of humour With the discourse of every comer That puts such whimsies in his braui To turn him to his freaks again. With that she lays another thwacki Impetuously upon the back Of Knigiit wiio thought but of retiring T* avoid th' unexpected firing, Gazette Publications, 315 'Till reconnoiterinp; the fbe, He could distinguish who was who. No doubt he could have matchM the onset, For his lonsj sword was not the bluntest ; But seeing her un warlike sex, With petticoat about her legs. He took again his hand from hilt ; For no presumpiion of the guilt Could justify by laws of order The hurting her or going further, For such the deference due the weaker^ That frjr a Knight to draw a trigger Or lift his hand- against a woman, Is deem'd unfair and unbecoming, But rather gradually assuage With oil of courtesy her rage, And having dissipated clamour, Convert the contest to an amour. So having drop'd his ire and hanger, He tiius address'd him to harangue her. " Uncourteous Damsel or Enchantress, For you are not a common laundress, What ogstrum or phrenetic fury, So underhandedly could spur ye, To bastinado aie, and break My body from the rump to the neck, Because I would do him a service So long immur'd beneath the surface, Wliy then from you uncourteous usage Hard v/ords, and cudgeling surplusage I For such my meaning and fond wishes, I had not thought of blows but kisses : At least from one so fair as you arc, For as to charms of person few are, More fit to be a Del* Tobosa, And in Romances make a huzza. Are you. unwilling to take rise, Above your natural pedigrees, SiG Gazette PublicatiOti^ And get your family upstairs Securing honour to your heirs For be you wife or virgin daughter Draw but a ticket in state lotter* And have relation to the house, Especially if tis a spouse, He drav.'s you up to the same place. Acquiring novel privileges. Quoth she, experience is best prooi^ And therefore I am wise enough To know the fulsomness of this And Traddies popular services. Much better he would keep t' his Iooru> Nor listen to the rocks that come And talk of the affairs of state j Not much the better for them yet j A set of idle lounging louts . That te.lk of interest and of votes And keep him from his work, discoursing, But never see them draw a purse string, To recompence tl\e loss of labour : And after all what'is't but jabber ; For what can he or they discover. As I htive told them over and over In government that can be worth The knowing or the calling forth ? The saying hits th* nail on th* head : '' Let every cobler stick t' his trade,'! And therefore be you what you wili I take your interfering iil, To touch the Iiddie siring again Of polidcks that turn » his brain. No wonder that 1 feel some passion^ On this particular occasion, And meditate another stroke ; Nor care I if your back is broke. Quoth Knight, not half so much the bloT.S Qf oiJiicn sUik b^th wrought me woes, 1 'Gazette Puhtications* 31' As the bright lustre 'bf your eyes Which touches-my propensities. With teeth as white a;? ebony- — There's many a nricin would givea gumea> To taste the ruby of your lips. *Tis said that when a knight equips Himself foi- deeds of chivahy, Behoves t* have some ont; in his eye Who fires his thoughts, and at whose feet Throws all the victories he can get. Now you are such a paragon Of beauty's dianmnd set in stone, That lam willing tb enthral, My heart to you and give you all. Quoth she, my eyes are not so bright That I can see without s^me light, Nor have I v.ny other teeth Than serve to eat pro\'isions with. But were it so that I had beauty", 1 better know my sworn duty Than iiave it in the ^vorld "^aid That 1 put homs on Traddlfes, head, Quotii Knight, but is iiidisKoIuble The knot, or cahhdt carry double ? Th' idea of antlers is a figure Which are put on by the intriguer^ And do not in real'ly grov/ Upon the injur'd husbands broWj To make hiai Elk or Unij^orn With single or with double horn, Or hinder him to bitter door", Or move as easilj^ a^ before.' Think what an hbnotir it will be To have a progeny by me. Same gallant chieftain or a worthy To turn he world topsy turvy ; Unlike the uffspiing of one bred To a diniinuti^^e manuel trade ; D d2 <318 Gazette Publicatmis,. Whose mind partakes of situation And the subordinate occupation* Quoth she liave read some of your book? Knight errant Quixots', and their jokes, Who fought with windmills, in a wood, And drew from one another blood. But was it not the rule with these First to perform the services Before did claim the ladies favour As the demerit of their labour, Now there is not far off a writer To whom I bear a little spite here, Because he laughs at Traddlt's nonsense Which is not equal to his own sense, And says it is a vile state slur To chuse him for a sekiator ; And though some truth may be in this Not always should the truth express. At least when it concerms him not ; Now I would have you go red hot And cudgel him for this provoking, And his unseasonable-poking ^ For though it is ridiculous That Traddle should go to the house^ Or take a ^at as he has done, Why should it be so harp'd upon, Or any but myself express A sense of the unworthiness, Though by the bye he is as Ht, As others that have no more wit, : . And yet are pass'd by in the ballad , Escaping names that he is called. Quoth Knight, you hit the very essence Of ail my spirits' eftervessence W^hich is to tread in magic steps Of chivalry, and hair breadth scapes, l^edressing injury and wrong, Of matron grave or damsti young.; Gazette Publication^. 51 ^ Por beauty is a brand that lights Warm passion in tiie breast of Knight^, Down from the earjiest day* to this, Which is at bottom of the base. As to this writer in Gazette He is a rascally marmozette, As more that draw satiric quill Half starved in garret *gainst their will, And worse than spiders which inhabit The same aerial dome and abode. Or wasps who with their nests incumber Aerial garrets amid lumber, And sting the very hand that presses, Or lodges with them, and caresses. No wonder that a mess-mate writer Should be a damnable back-biter, And if he has not kings t* engage Attacks a weaver with his rage ; But shall repent it suddenly. The Lady blandishVl with her eye, And seem*d to thank him for his heatj Hence set out ta enquire the seat, And chastise mis Archilochus With battery and actual blows, For words no more affect such vermin Than does a hypocrite, a sermon, Who turns deaf ear to your inveigh'ng And goes on with his work again ; Though first it might be well t' upbraid Before should come to break his head \ Preserve the usual character Of good men when they go to war, That of humanity and pciins To save the loss of blood and brains, Until necessity aloud Doth say that such way does no good : Then it behoves t* impress the force Of arm and cudgel on Uic cui-s. 3 20 Ga zette Pahltcatiom, It was a garret higlrin (W eiir • ' ' . - Witli small incombi';Jnee rf>lm44t', Wlierie' The Rhymistti-r iVad'nis'j'(f.7kiente And issued all his- lampoons tht^nd'.^, The Knight perceived him as be etitfer*d Witli scratch and serawf df averse ericenter'dj And though iip vpiivered-and his ^age Bespoke the wai^ he meaHl to wjitre. Yet thd compose 'his brow to rest And thus thq -ad versa r' addressM. Quoth he 'thott^h not devoid of mahnert To the more honourable retainers Of muse, and melody, ^nd Wit, Who labour -daily to cixcite, The pleasing 'images of funcy, In ode or madrigal or stanza ; Yet scarce ha\^ common courtes J' j To dogrel versifiers that lie In obscure garrets, and from thehde Send forth th* expenditure of brains -s -As't were the inmate^s^of theraftep, The fabricator -(»f low lliugtrt^^rA .- Wlio spaienot neigjibouring' characlefft Of any animal that stirs^ ' - Up from the beggar totbe' priftee ; And uselessly mu^t bre'ak' tht ir shinsj Just merely to express the jest That comes into their beads in-hastie : The ebuilitiba oRheir fun ; '• Ana you-are such a son Of a gim j For is there not one Tradtlle, who'nfi You have depicted'as the Sciini: OfPoliticiansofthe age, Which puts his Lady in a ragcr: A weaver made a senator ; Object it to him as a slur ; And undervklue manual'trade, And calling of inferior grade 5^ Gazette Publications^ 3 SI Whereas in such consists our riches, Without them where were coat or breeches Or other vestment that we wear Bat for the manufacturer ? Bat whence particular hate to this, The sphere of your antipodes ; The cellar weavLnjj Knight that Uirks While you swim to the top like cork?) And take your station in mid air, And weave your compositions there, And ought to have a fellow feeling For those in nadir of your dwellings For both are of the mystery Thour^h one is low the other high. But being a lady in the case Behoves to interpose ; suppress Your obloquy in verse or prose, Kick breech or corrugate the nose> For such the dernier resort, Reciprocation of the sport ; That, diction when it meets repuls, " - Should vibrate to its native sculls, And reach the head that fram*d the verse And did maliciously asperse. Quoth writer, though a man o* ih* sword, Yet by the grammar of your word You seem of literary talent. With noble air and manner gallant. And hurts me that you have t* express The language of such prejudice Ag^ainst a loitering garretteer, Especially myself, who here Have honour to receive address, From one of so much worthiness. But though we have our residence More elevate than other men's ; Like mad-cap wasps, sting travellers-, By flying at all characters j 322 Gazette PubUcatiom^ Yet not Avithout our proper use In system to correct abuse, When what is fungous, or absurd In common matters has ocrur*cl ; For instance when the foot puts head Beneath upon the soil to tread, And takes itself the upper place, There is a monster in the case ; And we designate it, and note Conversion of the head and foot, And cast a ridicule on swain, Wlio has ambition in his brain To be a statesman, j*nd m^kc laws, Instead of working vdth his i^iws ; Because his nature had net made His mind for legislative trade ; At least the want of literiJture T' appear with dignity in sphere, Is an obstruction to the rise : And hence m.ore rationid and wise - To occupy the quondam place Than b.i aggie for sucH loftiness, And hence it is I have invei^h'd ^Gainst Traddle, not because his trade Is underserving, but because Would quit it to enact our laws ; For sir, would be as far as you From bringing matters into view, That may relate to means of living As that of boot-making or weaving. I hold all arts in estimation Nor undervalue occupation ; And think a ditcher a good fellow, Provided he his business follow. It is unnatural change of pluces, And tile conversion that disgraces, An aijle ditcher making laws A senator in the morass. . Gazette Publications, S23 in their own element all natures Appear with justifiable features : Why call a surgeon to set bone If Judi^ment is not iook'd upon ? Is government an easy art ? Just like the driving of a cait Which ever doth some skill reqiiire To keep the wheel out of the mire. 'Tis thought the highest art of man With comprfihensive view to scan The various interests of a state Ana means of its becoming great. I qviesdon not the good intent Of Traddle for the government, But t'iv; ability and skill, On idci and smiilar principle. As ii a customer mountb loom, Who accidentally mi«ht come ; And tliough lis will is ju«t as good He cdunot we.tve tlie web fo^-'s blood But breaks t le thread and works much evil, Not instigated by the devil, And so not object of our hate Yet impropriety is great And in tUe nature of things absurd. The Knight had draiik in every word And thought the principle of*s speech, Some shew of reason seem'd to reach. Quoth Writer, it was first my view In what with Traddle had to do, To open eyes, and men convince, At least tine people of good sense, Mow injudicious they were Of i^imding untaught character To pourtray in the senate house As if he were the ty[)e of us ; But now with the description wearied, Have brought my lampoons to a pcriodj 324 Gazette FubJcatmis, And will no farther speak or write, Especially since a. worthy Knight As you appear to be, advise it, In this polite and friendly visit. Quoth Knight, th* opportune courtesy, ^llays the passion that was high, And now t* apologise for question And my intruding on th' occasion, Am of the order, and a Knight Whose object is to set things right ; Depress th' unworthy and raise up The preferable to the top, And injury and force restrain Of warriors sword, or writers pen, Distributing best services And keeping commonwealth in peace, And iience was led to interfere In c^id of Traddles character. Whose Lady is an Amazon, And beauty's perfect paragon, And laid it on me as a task My sword and battery to unmask, Against your irony and wit By which her conjugal is hit, And bid your pipe and verse repose, Or take th' incendiar* by the nose, Which from apology so courteous, Expressive of your sense and virtues^ I wave, as being satisfied That you haA e reason on your side : But for the s^ke of this said matron For am no riii,id son of sat urn, Would wish you to be smooth and moderate Until your differences are sodered. Nor carry to extremes the war, B«i leurn to conquer and to spare. Enough is said to give your sense Without your taking farther pains, Gazette Publications, 32 5 So drop your currency of quill And volubility be still, And turn to other quarters for The instances that may occur T' elucidate yo\U' argument, And give your oratory vent : For though so rough my late address, Do not consider you the less, But rank you as of class with us, A writer at th' top o' th' house -, A kind of literary knight, Dispos'd to keep the world quiet By aid of your salific verse, Th' insignificant t' amerce, Or put down villainy and pride That has opinion on its side, For ridicule's a test of truth/ No less than reason ; for it sheweth, The weak and vulnerable part. And probes distemper to the heart. Hence kings have dreaded it and beggars, More than artill'ry that beleaguers Of rational and sober senses For when men laugh the farce begins. And thing becomes a harlequin Wfe^om you contemple with a grin I^eads men to hate it : As you please Can turn the adversar' to geese, To rat or monkey, and give tails Just as the ide' you have prevails ; Effectual as magicians spell, Or conjuror come out of hell, For on retina of the eye. Doth spread the worst absurdity. So that no power of champion's sword J)oth surer victory afford, Or throws a more oppressive weight into tiie scnie of church or state. - • ^ Ee 326 Gazette PiiblicatiGns. Quoth writer, what you represent, Is doubtless a great compliment T* assimilate a knight and writer, And of an equal worth consider ; But waving compliment, and reason You have set forth with good expression $ I deem it greatly fortunate That in this boist'rous time though late, One has arisen with sucli skill To subjugate all shape of ill. It seem'd to me not long ago As I did read a page or so, The spirit of Chivalry was gone Which has in other ages shone. And left the world to common means j Where what is gradual intervenes, Without the aid of knight or waiter To interfere and make it better. But since excluding this conclusion, You as it were have made intrusion, And shewn by an example splendid, That such exertion is not ended. Go on like other combatants Not just like them in killing g*ants ; But in performing modern good, For ages are not now so rude As to produce the like disorders Which were remov'd by antient orders ; And more by chivalry of tongue Remains it now to redress wrong. Than by an actual violence ; No doubt we have good share of sense, Among the people of these states ; But yet have taken't in their pates, Bf-cause have privilege of office They have the qualities that suffice, And ds republics have laid open Advance to all men, there's no stopping, Gazette Piiblications. 327 And not a thin^ that wears a head By an immediate impulse led But sets up for a senator. And thoui^h we do not hear the stir, Of giants, monsters now adays, Yet there is trouble other ways, In keeping down licentiousness Of what we call oar privileges, And just as much ado to quash Election that .is rather rash, Ari was of old to knock down champ'ons ; And tho' harangu'd them in my lampoons, Yet still the populace do err Not chusing qualified that are ; ■ But givini^ to such men their votes That have as little sense as goats ; And thus it was that though did wage A war v^ith Traddle, had no rage, Against the manufacturer ; But meant it as a kind of slur Or fabie designating hate Against tliis evil in the state. Men running up to services AVho are not fitted for the place, >Jot having just capacity, because another way doth lie The effort of the untaught brain ; Not that they are inferior men, But of themselves are very good Provided would not thus intrude, And make equality a curse By not distinguislring the force And aptitude of n: .•• ral powers For their own olfices or ours. And now this day there is a roi t 'Scarce on your way a mile about, Of people met to form a ticket Of tliose who chuse to politic it, 328 Gazette Pubjcatiom. And be our representatives According as their interest thrives For the respective candidate ; It would do service to the state, If such a noble Knight as you Would teach tl\em what they ought to do, And give them seasonable lessons Respecting such their crude creations, That on the one hand while they pass The ignorant though monied ass, So on the other should avoid The chusing such amongst the crowd As are unqualified, though less, They may in property possess. The Knight set out, and not far ofF Fell in with people busy enough About the matter of a choice, And soon distinguish'd some ones voice. As one who was a candidate. The Knight addressed the people met With usual stile of eloquence. Quoth he, my fellow citizens, No doubt you are all men of skiii In state afiairs, and have gcod will In serving this our government Republican from lieaven sent, Where all may climb to offices Like animals that ciamber trees ; I5ut yet this liberty sh.culd use As Saint Paul says, so not t' abuse ; And while each one retains the right To bring Lis talents to the light, Yet let the public mind pre , - I do not say the worthier But him most for the ofiice fit, By his peculiar cast of wit. And talent for particular case And senatorial services, Gazette Publicafions, 329 As nature fits one horse to run Another draws artillery gun : For surely in the framing laws There's need of something more than claws, Or horn or hoof, or nails to scratch At least to frame them with dispatch ; For judgment must be something woilh And speech to make a man hold forth, And justify the step he takes ; lilse twisted like a nose of wax He bends just to the fugal man With whom the yea or nay began ; Doth loose the natural dignity Wliich all men have in reason's eye While unaffectedly they move And keep the corresponding groove, For when th' unqualified are up, ~ And take their station at the top, The commonwealth may be expressed In the similitude of beast That runs with tail upon its back In its excursion through the brake ', Racoon, opossum or a bear, Devoid of intellect that are. , These words encouragM one hard by Who had advancement in his eye. From the pretension of some sense, To hazard his own eloquence. Quoth he have had the inclination To take a turn in public station, Not that I have the greatest skill, But that I have the best good will To be a representative And make the public interest thrive ; T' assist your trade, and make you riclj, And give you liberty, for which You have stistain'd so long a war V And now at length victorious are. £ e 3 330 Gazette Puhltcationi. What profits it to have knockM do>vn The great Cornwallis and Burgoyne If in the meantime money-less Your agriculture languishes ? It is the fault of those at helm That these distresses overwhelm^ For if just measures were pursued Our government would do us good i And mischiefs that are come to pass Be remedied by proper laws. But those you send are loggerheads And might as well be in their beds ; Or if they have a little share Of sense and industry to spare, They lay it out for their own use And personal interest introduce. As for this man that is set up, What is foundation of his hope ? Has he more knowledge than a goose ? By what criterion do you chuse ? Is it his speech or dialect, That has so rapidly you prick*d To elevate him to a sphere Where greatest orators appear ? Or are you credulous there is In him some occult faculties AVhich when the time may come about You may be able to find out ? Or is it out of mere caprice Would give him such unnatural rise To shew the people can supply A sudden respectability ; A man to power and greatest weight From nothing as it were create ? To him the man not erudite,— (For he could neither read or write) Bui by d necromantic skill Could lead the people at ids will, Gazette Publications. 331 By means of some infernal dews By winch he sprinkled them profuse : Not dews of Acheron or Styx, By which he play*d these magic tricks, But dews which he himself distill*d From what he gather'd in his field : Men call it whiskey, but the Gods Call't what they please above the clouds^ Who tasted it was straightway drawn Insensibly to taste again, And such the virtue of the fluid, But say not whether bad or good, "VVhoever put his nose toth' steam ConceivM the delusory dream Of being more than what he was ; And hence it easily came to pass H' attributed the fume o' his brain To a celestial origin ; And thought the giver of the fluid With more than mortal pow'rs induM And worshippM him : you might have seeJi Idolaters before the shrine At morn and midday prostrate there Or offering up an evening prayer. No wonder that they thought him fit With every talent requisite. To occupy a place of trust. Where weightiest matters are discuss'd, And gave up sense and power of vote Foi' the ambrosia they had got ; And hence he had been Constable, A^nd acted as he was well able ; And next a Justice of the peace. And bound o*er people at liis ease, And now become a candidate For the assembly of the state. He made no speech, but pointed out, A keg of whiskey to the croud, »32 Gazette Publications^^ As much as if to say there is, The test of my best services. Why need I say the man was chosen^j By people waving like the ocean ; The wonder would be if left out. The fact M'as he gt>t every vote, And would have got had there been more, Or of competitors a score. The Knight broke silence, and gave scope To words as fast as he could ope Regretting this such. strange perversion, Of the political exertion. Quoth he, am no aristocrat To blame what people would be at, In chusing from the multitude Him destitute of noble blood, Nor fenc'd with family connections, To gain the popular affections. Nor do I much regard estate In chusing men to legislate, As if alone your purse-proud fellows Were capable to blow the bellows. For poor in purse as well as spirit, Have oftentimes the greatest merits And those in lowest life have wit, And may be for an office fit. With education for the place And the connatural services. More than the rich and glorious, Who have a castle for a house And ask an Imndred men to dine, Where all varieties combine, As if the eating much and drinking, Could help the faculty of tninking Or looking at the bulk of stones, Or brick they have iibout their bcm^s. In shape of builciing, could advi.r.ce Their parts above a common man'5. Gazette Puhlica tioiis. 5 3 3 Have known as many perfect beasts In ignorance at rich men*s feasts, As ever in inferior station Where natural sense gets little lesson ; Have no ide' that equipages, Can give unusual privileges. Of sense and reason in the brain, But often plain and labouring men May have more sense than those whom iiche>, Have dignified ; the sons of bitches, That set a value on estates. As being a substitute for pates ; Whereas the talent nature gives Original in the spirit lives. And independent of the sod Which else inglorious might be trod ; And hence the men that have been sages> And greatest warriors of all ages, Have had their birth in poverty, And through distress have risen high e For exercise of wit gives wit, And renders the possessor fit, For station that he occupies, Or prompts him to superior ri;ic, Whereas the weight of wealth keeps down, With an incumbrance of its own. The fool imagining his gold, Outweighs his folly when 'tis told And turns to wisdom what he says, Though ignorant as^ cow at grass. Have seen enough to make me sick Of purse proud men who very weak. Have arrogated sense though were As senseless as a sucking bear. Which I despise and reprobate, - . And would exclude them from the state. Educing better progeny AVhich fortune seems to have past by. 334 Gazette Publicatiom. So that no aristocracy But nature that I have in eye. Nor is it literature alone, That I would take my stand upon. There are as many natural fools, That have the literature of schools^ As have it not ; and mother wit, Is better than the whole of it : The common people have a right To tiirow into the state their mite, Though not born all philosophers. To gaze at planets and read stars, And not in the academie Are always found the very wise, And science is but little kelp To one by nature a dull whelp ; But what is nature without art, To qualify for any part ? Whether it be the making shoes, Or rectifying state abuse ; For not, as in the scripture phrase Comes inspiration now adays To make a statesman prophecy And see with an intuitive tye. But men just as they were remain, Before were taken upi Again, The making laws is not of grace, And inspiration has no place, And so thatwheta^r poor or rich. And by the bye it makes not which ; Or whether learnM in school or not. Or education may have got, I want the man of sense, of brain, To put into the statesm^m's train ; Which not in this case is the case. If one may from appearance guess. Is it necessity or use You have to plead in your excuse ? Gazette Publications. 335 Or do you wish to burlesque us By sending sucli a thing toth' house ? It is ungenerous and unfair, For you to be the merrier At our disgrace and ignominy, Being all as't were indigeni ! Of this same soil and residence. Some thought the man had spoken sense^ But others willing to dissent Not understanding what he meant Or caring much about the matter ; {Just LiiUboiera at Boyne water, Would here have suited them as well, ^Or Gibberland or Granuel) Shewed symptoms of dissatisfaction, ^Opinion riaving a re-action ; And urging an appeal to force, >From the decision of discourse, oo that it seem'd the wiser way To drop the occasion of affray. Retiring from the multitude And let him talk and fight who would* It struck into the he.id of knight, And giad he was he had come by't To ]^o t* a conjurer and enquire, Into the case a little higher Of what had puzzled him of late These strange vagaries of the state ; And humour of the multitude ; Could do no harm, if not TiK|(ch good. ApproachM the cell, and tuis his speech, Quot^i he I come not to beseech Your conjuror-ship to explicate How I a thing that*s lost may get, A cow a stray horse or a sheep, But mystery that is more deep, Videlicet ; (and here he stated Tihe difficulty we have narrated.) 236 Gazette Ptiblications. Quoth conjuror could better tell What hurry scurry is hi hell, Or going on above the sun Or will in future clay be clone ; Can Cjuestion nature in her course, And read the stars when mankind snores, Or cast n<\tivities and teach A man's whole fortune at a stretch ; Go uncier ground and dig up spades, Or dive in ocean to fish -beds, And rifle trunks of men of war That at the very bottom are Or run through dens beneath the earth And drag out thiefstei's for our mirth, For this is given to conjurors skill But not a single syllable Above the common race of men To sphynx it and the cause explain Of natural phenomenon Such as you have just touch'd upon. Prevaricative, qucih Knight and false. Can you that trip it through stone walls Not enter into human breast, And read the passion there express'd. And tell the origin of it. In mode and manner explicit ? If maid wants husband, you can shew Tht physiognomy of the beau, And yet not tell why men run mad Upon this legislative trade. Is*t easier or of better use To find a stray horse, or stolen goose, Than satisfy one at a loss On what strange gudgeons this thing goes That populace who have some sense Should chuse a clod-pole without brains To be themselves as't were i* th' house And bear the politics th'cspouse, &azett€ Publicafioiis; 55' Well knowing that the Image must Bespeak th' original of bust, And that they suffer in the shape \Vaich they send forward there to gape. Now tell me what the cause of thib Absurdity of suffrages ^ Not able, quoth the conjurer, But there's a great philosopher Not far off who has studied books, And is a wise man by his looks, Consider*d human nature so That he can look it through and through, And knows the inside of the scull And breast of mdu, as well t' th* full As I can by an astrolabe Take in the Heaven's at a grab And tell the future destiny Of things that are in foriunes eye : For this my skill, and my profession. Quoth Knight, no need of a digression. Or further homily to explain "* Particular defect of brain. The moral causes are best known To him who keeps his noddle down, Upon affairs of state ; whereas, In other studies, for a cause. Behoves t' apply to them that know From the particular bent of brow. The mathematician can demonstrate What line is crooked or goes on straight,* The chymist analyse a vapour And make the hydrogen appear Or oxygen if such there be Pent up in the concavity ; So that apology you make Accounts in some sort for renege ^nd reference to another office, For why or wherefore that may suffice ; And hence I take me to my scrupers And farther investigating labours-— Ei^e where t' exumine, and discuss, F» 33a Gazette Publications, This state arcanum & non plus. So having spoke concluded diction, Lest he shoulcl make the conj'ror sick sooi^ And turn'd short off his perg*ririation, With more of thought and less oration, Towards the sage's residence, And having entered thus begins. Quoth he, have been vi'ith a strange wight, Who proves a mere blatherskite, A conjuror, but cannot tell, Tho* has much magic in his cell ; How is it ? — (here he stated knot, The difficulty he came about And prayM the sage philosopher To give the reason of tli' affair :) Was it enchantment of the brain, That hurts the intellects of men. And charms, that unawares inVade With error, popular cavalcade, And mists and necromantic spells j Made out of pots and crucibles, To cloud the fancy and obscure. The honest vision of the viewer Who is deceived and gives his vote, As blindly as if drawn 'by lot, ' Without distinction of the good. Or bad among the multitude. Quoth sage, it may be the gall^nter, To say 'tis done by an enchanter, But so it is that simple nature, Without a cause occult or greater, . Than men's own ordinary passions. Or accident of the occasions, Produces this phenomenon, Vou seem so much to harp upon. Sometimes it happens that caresses^ And courtesy attains the graces, And bends the populace to him, Who falls in with the popular whim j For not th' inducement of best sensr, But in our liking choice begins \ Gazette Publicatioit^. 539 For public interest gains no vote, It is an object s6 remote • Moreover envy of tiie good, Will put the people in a mood, To chase the worst, out of mere sp'i'.L, To shew you thnt they have a right, To take him up you call a fool Out of the election water pool : And oft without a thought they chuscf As't were by accident' a goose ; Not knowing what they are about, Until the tickets are drawn out. Or if they would select the wise, Stupidity has his disguise Of sapience from his graver air, Whereas sound reason speaks out cleoj. And there is nothing magical, Where you can comprehend it all j lijt the obscure is the sublime, And hence the people value him, That has no speech at all, as gods, Were raii'd to the supreme abodes, In Egypt out of cats and rats, And leeks and onions and all that's Contempdble of beast or stock, Because these us'd no words to shock The adverse sentiments of men : Or' what may farther serve t* explain j No one is jealous of the dunce, Nor journal thinks worth while to pounce Upon the ignoble candidate. While the artillery of gazette Plays on the obvious character Which can afford. some wear and tear, And the excited prejudice To anew progeny gives rise Of falshood and malevolence. Perversions thai the bad dispense Against the endeavours of the good, And wise not rightly understood, 340 Gazette PiibAcation^, So that, through medium cf their hate, • Refracted, there is nothing great. But like a wand in wave inimcrs*d, Seems crooked from the being aspers'd ; For as a fly is seen to poke His nose where'er the skin is broke, So calumny discovers faults, And from defects to crimes exalts j While such as have but little force Of nature, like a cow or horse, Are safe, because what can be said But that they have been stolen or stray 'd. : Hence paragraphists have no woof, Or warp to make invective pf And while no one exclaims, the wighf, Is deem'd for the advancement fit, Or suffered to retjiin his place Not on the score of works but grace j Sufficient if he can say nay Or ope his mouth to get out yea, Jusjt as the fugal man o* th* party, Gives motion to the Neil INI^Carty ■: For being an automaton. The movement need not be his own And is more regi'ar the less sense, Of independence he retains. And less affects self-love of such, As actuate the scaramouch e ; And hence no word of him but good, At home amongst the multitude, So that he goes and goes again. While the republic lasts — Amtn. The problem seem'd to have solution, And merited a contribution. So asking what was to be paid, The able casuist shook Ms head, Declining to make charge — The Knight, Was glad to have so cheap come by*t. And taking leave he wish'd liim welij Which is the ending of the tale. Gazette PuUicattom. 34 J THE following Morceau, was communicated \xs me In manuscript from William Bradford, late At- torney General of the United States. He was then just entering on the practice of the law at York-town, Pennsylvania — ^And I insert it here as a token of my affection for his memory. It will be seen to be aji imitation of Shenstone. A PASTORAL SONG. THE sheplierd of fortune possest May scorn, if he please, my poor cot, May think in his wealth to be blest. But I will not envy his lot. The pleasures which riches impart Are fleeting and feeble when known ; They never give peace to the heart, It scorns to be happy alone, ? That shepherd true happines knovrs, Whose bosom by beauty is mov'd, VWho tastes the pure pleasure that fio\^9 From loving and bcinp^ belov'd. fTis a joy of angelical birth, Arfd wlien to poor mortals 'tis given. It cheers their abode u}X)n earth, And sweetens the journey to heaven. How briskly my spirits would move ! What peace in this bosom would reign ! Were I 'blest with the nymph that I love^ Sweet Emma, the pride of the plain. Ye shepherds, she's fair as the light I The critic no blemish can find ; And all the soft virtues unite, Apd glow in her innocent mind; j To nature's renovating day, Ciotlie me with thy own rightecusncair^ And in thy U/cenetSy Lord, array. Gazette Publications, 345 -•«^r eONCLU SIOA'. IN looking over this book, there is no part with which I am less pleased tlian the Introduction. There would seem to be va- nity under the guise of humility. By the word " exertions" in that preface, I do not mean the labours of my composition, but my efforts in life which have been successful to a certain extent. But even with regard to my literary attempts, though I cannot apply to myself the gratulation of the Poet, /' Exegi T)ionutnentum ^re perennius ;^^ Yet the selections here made, may be considered as remembrancers of some short duration. True it is, that having had perhaps too great a desire of distinction in early life, I may have less now than is necessary to application ; but m.y ambition, never was for place or office ; nevertheless, I begin to think it had been better to have set less ^^tore by the opinion of the v.orld as to ray 546 Gazette Publications^ II flight or song, and to have made my nest ^^ith mere care like other birds of the grove. Be that as it may it has been my amusement to VvTite ; and I have set a I greater value on the praise of genius, than on ( ail else that is obtainable amongst men. A I man of very moderate parts can fill an office ; 1 perhaps the better for being moderate ; but it ] is but one in many that can shew a single spark | of the celestial fire that distinguishes the ora- tor, the philosopher, ^or the rapt poet. I ; have always considered every hour, in a sense, i \ lost, that was not employed hi the cultivatioa/ * *: of the intellect ; with a view either to the viij^ tues of humanity, or the delights of the fan- cy ; for I give the virtues of humanity the £rst place. But when a man of taste considers how much more he owes to those who have increased tiie store of lite- rature, than to sucli as have amassed wealth for themselves and otliers, he will cer- tainly consider the productions of the mind as more desening his respect, than the ac- quisitions of the purse-proud ; even thougli there may appeal' a little vanity in the publi- cations of the author, which he has not had 0az€tte Publications, 347 the self-denial to suppress, or the prudence to conceal, ' With a view to mend the matter of my In- troduction I have added this ; perhaps it will' hi thought unnecessary, for all the notice that will ever be taken of the proemium, or of the collectanea, to which it has a reference. One thing I will add in excuse of employ- ing so much of my time, and whatever ta- Jents I may possess, in what may seem to be of too light a nature for a serious mind, tliat the taste for playful humour, and the habit of versifying, was contracted in early life, from tlie want of a monitor to direct resist- ance to the propensity ; and at the same time that I present the result to the pubUc, I must caution others to bewai'c of the indulgence. It is not an age or country, that will make it the means of emolument, or the way to honor. And though I would rather be the Poet than the Maecenas as to after-fame, yet it is better to be the Maecenas as to present enjoyment. I would warn thereiore a son of mine against too much attention to some parts of what 348. Gazette Ptiblicationi, may be called polite literature, as not fa- shionable in our present state of society, iind as a seducing syren from the more profitable pursuits of life. With this observation I conclude, as providing against the e^'il of imitation of what only under circumstances could be excused in me who have set tjic example. FINI S. I United States Department of State Library V^A ^nfe