#663 
 
No. 38. 
 "I CAN'T MAKE MYSELF DIFFERENT." 
 
 A CONVERSATION BETWEEN A MINISTER AND ONE OF HIS 
 
 FLOCK. 
 
 Minister And now, as we have got through our busi- 
 ness, Mr U, Jet us turn to something more important I 
 was glad to see you at church last Sunday ; now you 
 have come once, I hope .you will come regularly 
 
 ii* u x J ( J* "' 1 lv ' nmv ' sir ^ l J,ked a11 l *»eard revv 
 is in it l l "^ an ' V US ° ' n g0mg U " leSS ° ne ' s 1)eH " 
 
 Min. And is not your heart in it? 
 
 C No, I can't say it is. I won't deceive you, sir; 
 but I don t ieei drawn that way, and I see no use in 
 trying till am. I can't make myself different. You 
 said yourse fin your sermon, » A man can't change his 
 own heart." h 
 
 Min. And I say so again ; none but the Holy Spirit 
 can do that. But why keep away on that account ? 
 
 C. Because, as 1 am now, 1 have no heart in it, and \ 
 don t see the use of going. Excuse me, sir, if I speak 
 plainly, but that 's the truth. ' 
 
 Min. I am glad you do speak plainlv, because then I 
 can speak plainly too. Mr. C, do you ever pray ? 
 
 C. JN ot very often. 
 
 Min. Why not ? 
 
 C. For the same reason — because I seem to have no 
 heart for prayer. If I kneel down, I don't feel as if I 
 was in earnest; and I am sure it is no use praying- 
 without. ' y fe 
 
 Mm. No, that is very true. But why not ask God to 
 make you in earnest? 
 
 C. I can't ask God for anything as I am now, because 
 1 don t really feel the wish; and I can't make myself 
 wish. 
 
 Min. Now, I think you are going too far. You say 
 you don t feel the wish — what wish ? 
 
2 "i can't make myself different.*' 
 
 C. Why, the wish to be different from what I am, for 
 I know I am not in a good way now. But it's no use 
 talking, sir; I hope it will come some day, and it's no 
 good trying, or praying, or anything else, till it does. 
 
 Min. Did you ever try in earnest? 
 
 C. I don't know that I ever did. I know it 's of -no 
 use. 
 
 Min. You were laid up with the rheumatism some 
 time ago, were you not? 
 
 C. It was the Jumbago, and very bad I was with it. 
 I didn't leave the house for six weeks. 
 
 Min Well, now, you are a cabinet-maker, and I have 
 heard you say you don't get much to do. I was down 
 at the docks this morning, and Mr. W. took me over his 
 large new ship, that is to be launched next week. I 
 found your neighbor over the way, Mr. H., there fitting 
 up the captain's cabin; he had several men at work 
 besides himself, for the cabin is all to be lined with 
 mahogany, and there is all the furniture to be fitted to it 
 besides. Mr. H. has been at it for several weeks, and 
 says it is the best job he has had all the year. You 
 would have liked to have it, wouldn't you? Only the 
 order came just when you were laid up. 
 
 C. Oh! I'd have managed it somehow, if Mr. W. had 
 given me the job: but no such luck comes in my way. 
 Why, sir, Mr. H. will make thirty pounds by it, if he 
 makes a penny. I'd have gone on my hands and knees 
 rather than lose such a chance; trust me, I'd have got 
 down to the docks fast enough, lumbago arid all. 
 
 Min. I have no doubt you would. At all events you 
 would have tried ; though, before, you thought you 
 could not stir a step. Now, just let us go back to what 
 we were talking of. You say you do not try because you 
 are sure it 's of no use. 
 
 C. Ah ! I see what you are driving at, sir. But the 
 two things are not alike. I should have wanted to get 
 that job at the ship, but I don't want the other. I don't 
 feel any desire, I 'm not in earnest — and I must wait till 
 I am. 
 
 Min. But, on your own showing, it is more " I won't" 
 than "I can't." You say you are not in earnest — do 
 you wish you were ? 
 
" I CAN T MAKE MYSELF DIFFERENT. 3 
 
 C. Yes, I should be glad to feel different, certainly. 
 
 Min. Are you quite sure of that ? 
 
 (No answer.) 
 
 Because, to speak plainly, I am not, if yon are. Don't 
 be offended with me for saying so, but I do not think you 
 really wish to be different from what you are. On your 
 own showing, wouldn't you try, if you did? It is not 
 that you can't, but you won't. I cannot believe that a 
 man who would hobble down to the wharf-side, all crip- 
 pled and in pain, just to get a thirty pound job, would 
 sit still and say '• It 's no use trying," if he really wished 
 to be a different man. Why, only set one thing against 
 the other: on the one hand, a good job of work; on the 
 other, the salvation of your soul — for it comes to that. 
 No, Mr. C, you are not in earnest, your heart is not 
 set toward God, and you don't wish it to be. You have 
 no real care for your soul, or how could you sit still and 
 let it take its chance for eternity, and coolly say, U I 
 can't make myself different, it's no use trying?" Now, 
 am I too hard on you, or is this the truth? 
 
 Mr. C. made no reply. 
 
 I have no wish 10 be hard on you, but I do think you 
 are not awake to the preciousness of your soul. Your 
 will is in fault — you said so yourself: but the evil lies 
 even deeper than you think; your heart and will are 
 altogether wrong. Oh, how differently you would speak 
 and act if you were convinced of sin, and brought to feel 
 your soul's need ! Now, I want to show you that this 
 change of will (in other words, a new heart) is what 
 God has promised to give, and, therefore, the very thing 
 you should pray for : in all you have told me of your 
 feelings, there is nothing but what God has foreseenand 
 provided for. But I will not do it in my own words. I 
 see a Bible on the shelf, just give it to me, and bring 
 your chair to mine, and let us look at a few passages 
 together; and may God teach our hearts by his spirit. 
 
 Mr. C. still said nothing, but the Bible was brought, 
 and they sat side by side and the minister opened the 
 sacred book, and as he did so his heart was lifted up in 
 prayer, that he might belled to suitable passages, and 
 that the word might be blessed by the Spirit. 
 
 First, I want to show you that man's will is by nature 
 
4 " I CANT MAKE MYSELF DIFFERENT. 
 
 corrupt and disinclined to God; so that it is no wonder 
 that you, or any one else, feel no heart for spiritual 
 things. At the very beginning- of the Bible we find 
 this — "And God saw that the wickedness of man was 
 great in the earth, and that every imagination of the 
 thoughts of his heart was onry evil continually."* That 
 was before the flood. But, ages after, we find man no 
 better; here, in the prophesy of Jeremiah, -it is said, 
 "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperate- 
 ly wicked "| And if we turn to the New Testament, 
 we shall find something plainer and stronger still. Here, 
 for instance — "The natural man receiveth not the things 
 of the Spirit of God : for they are foolishness unto him; 
 neither can he know them, because they are spiritually 
 discerned. "J 
 
 C. I don't want to interrupt you, sir, but all this is 
 nothing new to me. I have told you all along that I 
 don't feel any interest in these things, so it doesn't sur- 
 prise me to find it said so in the Bible. 
 
 Min. But suppose I can show you that this very thing 
 is spoken of in the Bible as a fault, and a thing which 
 man might help if he chose. Look here, for instance — 
 " They will not frame their doings to turn unto their 
 God ;"§ this is God's complaint against Israel : not, you 
 see, that they cannot, but that they will not. And there 
 is a remarkable verse at the end of the same chapter, 
 which you ought to lay to heart — " I will go and return 
 to my, place, till they acknowledge their offence, and 
 seek my face." You say you must wait till God 
 changes you, but here he seems to say he will wait till 
 you seek him ; did you ever notice that verse ? 
 
 C. 1 don't know that I ever did. 
 
 Min. Well, don't forget it; you know, you must not 
 take one part of scripture and leave another. Now, 
 look at this verse in the Psalms — "The wicked, through 
 the pride of his countenance, will not seek after God. 
 God is not in all "his thoughts. "|| There is often pride 
 in us where we do not suspect it. Perhaps, after all, it 
 is pride that keeps you from seeking God. And now, 
 
 *Gen.vi, 5. fJer. xvii, 9. J I Cor. ii. 14. 
 
 # Hos. v, 4. I Piialm x, 4. 
 
l> I CAN T MAKE MYSELF DIFFERENT. »> 
 
 once more, turn to the words of the Lord Jesus himself: 
 this is his complaint against the Jews — " And ye will 
 not come to me, that ye might have life."* What could 
 any plain, honest man think from these words, but that 
 the Jews might have come if they would? And is it 
 not just the same with you? Ah ! Mr. C, perhaps the 
 Lord Jesus says of you that you will not come to Him 
 that you might have life; perhaps this is his complaint 
 against you, that though he has died that you might 
 live, and though he has called you to him again and 
 again, yet you will not come, but only cavil at his words 
 like those hard-hearted Jews, and reason about whether 
 you can come or not, instead of taking him at his word 
 and coming. Let me ask you one thing: Do you think 
 God would invite us to come to him, if he knew we 
 could not? And if God has promised, in answer to 
 prayer, to take away our unwillingness, and dispose us 
 to seek him, does this not take away all excuse? 
 
 C. ft does seem so, indeed. But I cannot even pray 
 as I ought, and I believe no one can until it is given 
 him. 
 
 Min. I believe if you really wished for the thing you 
 would pray, without stopping to think whether you could 
 or not. But, granting that no one can pray aright till it 
 is given him (which I believe as much as you do), my 
 answer is that God will give it. That disciple must have 
 felt he could not pray, who said, "Lord, teach us to 
 ;pray.'*f VV T hether it was want of inclination or want of 
 knowledge he felt (1 suppose it was the latter), it makrs 
 no difference in the argument ; he wanted help to pra;N , 
 and asked for it ; and Jesus granted his request. It is 
 one of the offices of the Holy Spirit to help in prayer — 
 "Likewise, the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities; for 
 we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but 
 the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groan- 
 ings which cannot be uttered. "j Words could not speak 
 plainer. We have infirmities about prayer — not you 
 only, but all of us; and not all the same, but one this 
 and another that. And God knows this far better than 
 we do, and has provided for it: the Holy Spirit helps 
 
 * John v, 40. | Ll,ke xi > 1« + Rom - viii > 26 - 
 
" 1 can't make myself different/' 
 
 us ; brings us into a fit state of mind, makes us to wish 
 for right tilings, warms our desires, puts thoughts and 
 feelings into us, and helps us in our very words. You 
 are not the only man in want of this help; I want it too, 
 and often seek it ; and, Mr. C, whenever I have been 
 enabled freely and fully to lay my wants before God, L 
 am well aware who it is that has helped me ; it has not 
 been my own doing alone 
 
 But there is one thing I want to bring you to stil!. I 
 wish to show you clearly that God has promised to give 
 a new heart ; in other words, to make people different 
 from what they were — the very thing you tay you can- 
 not do for yourself. Listen to this — ■< And I will give 
 them an heart to know me, that I am the Lord; and 
 they bhall be my people, and I will be their God : for 
 they shall return unto me with their whole heart."* 
 There are three or four more passages to the same effect. 
 
 It is true these promises were made to Israel. But, in 
 the first place, there never was a more rebellious people, 
 so that a promise made to them is full of encouragement 
 to others. And in the next place, Israel is an example 
 to us, and God's dealings with them a pattern of his 
 dealings with us.f But there is another promise, made 
 not to Israel only, but to all : "If ye then, being evil, 
 know how to give good gifts unto your children : how 
 much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy 
 Spirit to them that atk him ?''| To them ; that is, to all 
 that ask him ; to you, Mr. C, if you ask him. You could 
 not have a promise more suited to your case ; if ever 
 your heart is to be changed, it must be by the Holy 
 Spirit, and here the Holy Spirit is promised if you ask. 
 But I have stayed much longer than I meant, and fear 1 
 have taken up your time, and tired you besides. 
 
 C. Pray say nothing about that, sir; I have not any- 
 thing particular to do, and I 'd rather hear all. 
 
 Min. Well, then, I. will just show you one instance 
 of such prayer as I wish you to make; it is this- — 
 11 Turn thou me, and I shall be turned : for thou art the 
 
 * Jer. xxiv, 7. See also Jer. xxxi, 33 ; xxxii, 39; Ezek. xi, 19, 20; 
 xxxvi, 26, etc. 
 
 | 1 Cor. x, 11. % Luke xi, 13. 
 
"i CAN T MAKE MYSELF DIFFERENT. 7 
 
 Lord my God."* Now, here is exactly the prayer for 
 you; because it not only asks for what you want, but 
 asks in faith, expressing a belief that God both can and 
 will do it. Tell me, do you think God is able to turn 
 your heart to himself? 
 
 C. Yes, I do. 
 
 Mm. And do yon believe he is willing? 
 
 (No answer.) 
 
 Why should you doubt it? He has told you so; he 
 has shown it by sparing yea to the present time; he has 
 given you many examples of it. Think of the parable 
 of the prodigal son,f meant to show God's willingness to 
 receive the returning sinner; remember how, "when 
 he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had 
 compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed 
 him," and would hardly let him acknowledge his fault, 
 so ready was he to forgive. If such is the way God re- 
 ceives the returning sinner, can you think he will refuse 
 to help him to return ? And think of that verse in the 
 8th chapter of Romans — there is a world of argument in 
 it — u He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him 
 up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give 
 us all things?"^ ^ e lnal g ave his Son, will he withhold 
 his grace? Then why not pray, "Turn thou me," be- 
 lieving that he both can and will? Don't argue about it, 
 but just take God at his word ; pray upon his promise, 
 upon his power, upon his love. Don't you remember 
 the case of the man with the withered hand? It was 
 crippled so that he could not use it, but Jesus said to 
 him: stretch forth thine hand: and he stretched it 
 forth; and it was restored whole, like as the other."§ 
 How could that be? Doubtless, because, in the very act 
 of trying to obey, he received power to obey. What if 
 he had said, u I can't, it 's no use trying?" Ah! Mr. C, 
 your heart is like his hand, but the power that healed 
 the one can change the other. He who said " Stretch 
 forth thine hand," says to you, "Believe, pray, turn." 
 Only do as the man with the withered hand did — try, in 
 simple dependence on him who commands, and God will 
 give you the power. 
 
 # Jer. xxxi, 18. f Luke xv, 11-32. % Rom. viii, 32. \ Matt. 12, 13. 
 
8 " 1 CAN T MAKE MYSELF DIFFERENT. 
 
 There is one more piece of advice I will give you : 
 don't have a "but" ready for all occasions. You have 
 a deadly enemy, who will do all he can to keep you from 
 God: and if he can but make you argue and dispute, 
 instead of praying, his end is gained. Your favorite 
 answer, "I can't make myself different," though in one 
 sense true, is of his framing; just as, when he dared to 
 tempt our Lord himself, lie did it with words of scrip- 
 ture. 
 
 I hope you will not forget our conversation. This is 
 no speculative subject, but a matter of life and death. 
 Pray for a change of heart. If you cannot pray, ask that 
 the Spirit may help your infirmity. If you feel little 
 desire, even ask for more. You may be all that you say, 
 indifferent and unconcerned, with no taste for spiritual 
 things, and no heart for prayer — you then, of all others, 
 should pray, because you need so much. If no other 
 prayer comes to your mind, at least you can say, "Lord 
 teach me to pray; help my infirmity; make me in 
 earnest." I hope the hand of God was in it, that, when 
 I came here to-day on business, we were led into this 
 conversation. If ever you want such help as I can give, 
 come to me without scruple, and we will talk over these 
 things auain, and search the Scriptures together. It is 
 my heart's desire for you, that you may be really con- 
 cerned for your soul, and be led to flee to Christ as one 
 in earnest for salvation. Before I go, let us kneel down 
 and pray. 
 
 They did so, and when they rose from their knees, Mr, 
 C.'s face wore a serious and softened expression, and he 
 thanked the minister for his visit: and so they parted. 
 
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