g a ee n cq = ae x a 1versl Duke Un Oh i ie A . Par . PAS site ea) Vite ALD fy, eh Ast, ee nui i Ae “DRUMMER ' aR oF Fé HAUNTED HOUSE. : , COMEDY As it is AGed at the oe i here theairet ayab in ‘Drury. Lane, Bx His MAJE I S th Servants. Palf Vis $ es 5 hauls Ut. Magus The Szconp Epirron. | he ND pats Hor. "Printed for Jacob Tonfon at Shake/pear’s-Head, over-againft -%. Katharine-Street in the Strand. MDCCXVI i al — Sr as a 104% oe whl x - “ = ry ‘ ty A z° ‘ ea ee WS | om yi ie ’ 2 < te ae f thee Be ee TE ri Bi ae: ‘: , ; fs Lie “ ; i bs » ¥ % x se > i a \ me Mee Wye plate “ a wt , eet gor ... c » - Pare Atapepameticng = eommtily. 7 5 ah ae ore ae T cH A afd |. . t/¢/s0 : : ; B “>PREFACE™ ae Aving recommended this Play to the Town, and delivered the Copy of it to the Bookféller, I think my felf oblig’d to give fome Account of it. It had been fome Years in thé Hands of the Autlior, and falling under my Perufal, I thought fo well of it that I perfuaded him to make afew Additions and Alterations to it, and let ic appear upon the Stage. I own I was | very highly pleafed with it, and lik’d it the. better, for the | want of thofe f{tudyed Similes and Repartees, which we, | who have writ before him, have thrown into our Plays, | to indulge and gain upon a falfe Tafte that has prevailed | for many Years in the Britifa Theatre. I believe the Au- | thor would have fallen into this Way a little more thar | he has, had he, before the writing of it, been often ; prefent at Theatrical Reprefentations, and obferv’d the | Effet that {uch Ornaments generally have upon the Town. | I was confirmed in my Thoughts of the Play, by the Opi- nion of better Judges to whom it was Communicated, } who obferved that the Scenes were written very much | after Moliere’s Manner, and thatan eafie and natural Vein, i of Humour ran through the whole. | Ido not queftion but the Reader will difcover this, | _ and fee many Beauties that efcape the Audience; the Tou- | ches | _ 448169 , ches being too a yicaee a wy vw Ae”... Spe ar * ae =) for every Tafte in a Popular Af fembly. “ My Brother-Sharers were of Opinion, at the — y y p firft reading of it, that it was like a Picture in which the Strokes were not {trong enough to appear with Adyan- _ tage at a Diftance. As it is not in the common way of © Writing, the Approbation was at firft Doubtful, but has rifen every time it has been Adted, and has given an Opportunity in feveral of its Parts for as juft and goed Action as I ever faw on the Stage. | The: Readet will conGderthar {peak here as the Pa- tentee, for which Reafon I forbear being more particular .in the Charaéter of this Play, leaft I thould appear like one, who cries up the Wares of his own Shop to draw in Cuftomers. | Richard Steele. a Bnd Mes | r. Wilks. BN this Grave Age, when Comedies are few, | We crave your Patronage for one thar’s News — Tho’ ’twere poor Stuff, yet bid the Author fair, And let the Scarcene[s recommend the Ware. Long have your Ears been fill'd with Tragick Parts, Blood and Blank-Verfe have harden’d all-your Hearts, Uf eer you [miley tis at fome Party Stroaks, — Round: heads and Wooden-fhooes are fanding Fokes; | The fame Conceit gives Claps and Hiffes Birth, You're grown fach Politicians in your Mirth! For once we try (tho "tas, Lown, unfaf?) . To pleafe you All, and make both Parties laugh. Our Author, anxious for his Fame to Night, And bafhful in his Firft Attempt to write, Lies cautioufly obfcure and unreveal da, Like Ancient Actors in a Mafque conceal’d. Cenfure, when no Mancknows who writes the Play, Were much good Malice merely thrown away. — The mighty Criticks will not blaft, for Shame, A raw young Thing, who dares not tell his Name: Good-natur’d Judges will th’ unknown defend, And fear to blame, leaft they foou'd hurt a Friend : Each Wit may praife zt, for his own decr Sake, ; And hint He writ it, if the Thing fhowd take. But, if you're rough, and ufe him like a Dog, Depend upon it — He’ remain Incog. If you foou'd hifs, be fwears Heli hifs as high, ah And, like a Culprit, joyn the Hue-and-Cry. fi If Cruel Men are fill averfe to {pare iq > Thefe Scenes, they fly for Refuge to the Fair. : Tho with a Ghoft cur Comedy be heighten’d, | Ladies upon my Word you fhawt be frighten’d: O, *tis a Ghoft that {corns to be uncivil, A well-{praad, lufty, Fointure-hunting Devil s. An Am rous Ghoft, that’s faithful, fond and true, Made up of Flefh and Blood—as muchas you. Then every Evening come in Flocks, undaunted ;. We never think this Houfe is too much Haunted. | £ Spoken by DR A- a > j ; | | | } as . oO tll =) ats Dramatis Perfonez Sir George Truman, Mr. Wilks. Tinfel, Mr. Cidber.. Fantome the Drummer, Mr. Mills. Vellum, Sir George Tru-? | man’s Steward, a Mr. Fobnfon. Butler, ? Mx. Pinkethman. — Coachman, Me. Miller. Gardiner, Mer. Norris. Lady Truman, Mrs. Oldfield, Abigal, Mrs. Saunders, io vig | DRUMMER: - HAUNTEDHOUSE. ACT 1. SCENEL | A Great Hall: : Enter the Butler, Coachman, and Gardiner. © —~ But. To tte came another Coach to Town latt Night, that brought a Gentleman to enquire about this _ ftrange Noife, we hear in the Houfe. This Spirit will bring a power of Cuftom to the George—~If fo be he continues his Pranks, I defign to fell a Pot of Ale, and fet up the Sign of the Drum. : Coach. Vl give Madam warning, that’s flat I've always liv'd in Sober Families. V'll not difparage my felf to be a Servant in| . a Houfe that is haunted. Gard. Vl een marry Neil, and rent a bit of Ground of my : | ‘own, if both of you leave Madam; not but that Madam’s a very _ good Woman—if Mrs: 4¢iga/ did not fpoil her ——come, here’s her Health. ; cehae ‘ But. Isa very hard thing to bea Butler in a Houfe, that is _ difturb'd. He made fuch a Racket in the Cellar laft Night, that. Coach, ‘ ‘ Tm afraid he’ll fower all-the ae my Barrels. SS SS SS ee he ee Soe = © : aes. Foky how he gets.into the Houfe when all the Gates ate. eas ‘Bie Why look ye Peter, your Spirit will creep” you idle okt Sie Augre-Hole: — he'll whisk ye through a Key-Hole, without ae much as juftling againft one of the Wards. Say Me Coach. Poor Madam is mainly frighted that’s certain, and ye- rily believes ’tis my Mafter that was kill'd in the latt. Campaign. Fate But. Out of all manner of Queftion, Robin, *tis Sir George. _ Mrs. Adigal is of Opinion it can be none but his Honour; he - always lov’d the Wars, and you know was mightily pleas’d fom. a Child with the Mufick of a Drum. - Gard. 1 wonder his Body was never found after the Battle. But. Found! Why, ye. Fool, is not his Body here about the — Houfe? Doft thou think he can beat his Drum without Hands: and Arms? . a Coach, *Tis Matter as fure as I ftand here alive! and I I verily ee believe | faw him Jaft Night in the Town- Clofe. — 3 Gard. Ay! how did he appear ? Coach. Like a Wliite-Horfe. An Buz. Pho, Rodin, Ltell ye he has never appear ‘4 yet but i in thie ae Shape of the Sound of aDrum, , Coach. This makes one almoft afraid of one’s own Shadow. As. . I was walking from the Stable t’other Night! without m ‘Lan- | thorn, I fell a- -crofs a Beam, that lay in my way;:atid>Faith my: : Heart was in my Mouth——I thought, 1 brace figmbins ‘over. ar ‘ rh But. Thou might’ft as cl have ftumbledoveria Stratus whys: é a Spirit is fuch a little little Thing, that] have heard. a Man, who was a great Scholar, fay, that. he'll dance ye ai Lancafhire ‘Horn-Pipe upon the point of a Needle———As I fat inthe: Pantry), laft Night counting my Spoons, the*Candle methought burnt Coach. Ay poor Cur; fhe’s almoft frighten’d out of a Wits: A Gard. Ay I warrant ye, the hears him many a time and often fee! LOC LIANE LION]. Bie Babs My Lady ‘mutt have him Laid, that's certain, whatever i it a coft her. Gard. 1 fancy, when one goes to Market, one might hear of 7 fome body that can make a Spell. | Coach, Why may not the Parfon of our Parith lay Bim?) But. No, no, nc, our Parfon cannot lay him. ee Coach. Why not he as well as‘another Man? But. Why; ye Fool; hei is not qualified — the Oaths. — He has not eh Gard. Why, 3 ye think Sobm, that the Spirit wou'd take the Law of him?—faith,1 cou’d tell you one way to drive him off. - Coach, How's that? Gard. V1l tell you ieameiliarel y [drinks] ] fancy Mrs. Abigal' might Scold him out-of the Houfe. Couch. Ay; the has a Tongue that would drown his Drum, if : any thing cou'd. Bat. Pugh, this is all froth! you underftand nothing of the Matter the next time it makes a Noife, I tell you what ought to be done, ——! wou’d have the Steward {peak Latin to it. . ‘Coach. Ay that wou’d do, if the Steward had but Courage... ~ Gard. Thete. you have it He’s a fearful Man. If I had as much Learning as he, and 1 met the Ghoft, I'd tell him his own! but alack what can one of us poor Men do with a. Spirit, _ that can neither Write nor Read? ~ But. Thou art always cracking and boating, Peter, thou doft not know what Mifchief it might do thee, if fuch a filly Dog as ' — thee fhould offer to {peak to it. For oughtI know, he might flea’ thee alive, and make Parchment of chy Skin to cover his Drum _. with. Gardwih Fidleftick! tell not me—— I fear poking 0 not I! - [never did harmiin my Life, 1 never. committed Murder. But. 1 verily: believe’ ‘thee, keep: thy Temper, Peter; after Supper we'll drink each of us a.double Mug, andthen let come what will.bo! Gard. \Whiy. that’s well faid Fohn, an honeft Man that is not quite fober, has nothing to fear Here’s to ye— why how if - he fhou’d come-this Minute; here woud. I fiand. Ha! what 2 difelisthat?: ~ ‘ . > Bat.) & Coach: Hal where? ee “The Devil! the. ong ing Oh 20), ‘tis ae Aig rt Ng ee Ait : But. § te il But. Ay, ith! isthe 5 3 ‘tis Mrs. Abigal f Mrs. Abigail. | | Enter. Abigal. 9 ‘vetee Bere Ab. Hereare your dpinkeh Sots for you!Is his a a time a we guz ling, when Gentry are come to the Houfe! why don't Youlayyour Cloth? How come You out of the Stables? > Wis are not You at work in your Garden? Gard. Why, yonder’s the fine Lene and Madam fetching a walk together, and me-thought they look’d as if they fhould fay they had rather have my Room than my Company. But. And fo forfooth being all three met together, we are _ doing our ait ine to drink this fame Drummer out of our © _ Heads. Gard. For you tote know, Mrs. Abigal, We are all of Pian that ane can’t be a Match for him, unlefs one be as Drank as a Drum. Céaco. Tam refolved to give Madam Wiitaide to hite herfelf m3 another Coachinan ; for I cameto fervemy Mafter, d’ye fee, while — he was alive, but do fuppofe that he has no further orcafion: for a Coach, now he Walks.. vai Bat. Traly, Mrs. Abigal ¥ muft needs fay, that thie Tamie ihe Spirit is a very odd fort of a Body, after all, to fright Madam: _and his old Servants at this rate. Gard: And truly, Mis. Adigal, I muft needs fant I ferv'd my | my Maftercontentedly, while he was living; but Iwill ferve no living (that is, no Man that is not living) without double: ages. 4b. Ay,-tis {uch Cowards as you that go about witha $t0- ries; to difgrace the Houfe, and bring fo many Strangers Hime ate’: you firft frighten your felves, and then your Neiglibourss) Gard. Frighten’d ! lfcorn your Words.» F righten‘d. panel : 46, What you-Sot! are you grown Por-valiant?:97 ) 1.4 Gard. Frighten’d with a Drum! that’s a good one! it will do us no hartn; I'll anfwerforit. It will bring noBlood-fhed along =< "with it, take my Word. It founds as like a. Prain-Baod Drum as ever [heard in my Life. — ect fdoke Stil 2 Bur. Prithees Peter, don't be fo prefuimptuous. Beye. Ab. Well, thefe drunken Rogues take it as I coud with; ‘(tfide. Gard. | {corn tobe frightned, now bam in forts if oldDab-a- dub fhou’d come into the Room, I'wou'd take him-— But. Prithee hold thy Tongue.. ne 5 Msn’ ; OF Foe hae Bere ee LR ee 4 * het ies. tte gie tata Bes 5 ond Ke eR Oe eR i, . z ‘Z a%y ™ ne a oe Gard: Ewould take him— ot be Drum beats, the Gard. Gea. : icy SS eet: Speak to its: Wes Abigal. NES : our felves in the Cellar. {% bey all rin i ei mediately —don’t {tay to beat a Parley. take thee in my Arms, and kifs thee —— if my Drum did not ftlandin my way nefs in his Looks, that we Men of the Town cannot come up to. f mutt confider, you loft a great deal of Blood in the Battle. _vaible? ve _you were feenby ary Lady in your proper Perfon; after fhe ha - cou'dfays the very civilly difmife'd you forthe {ake of this empty 2 Sas “ vours toxet off, and: We : Gard. Spare my Life, and take all 1 have. Coach. Make off; make off;. good Butlers add jet us go hide -Abigal Sola. 5 Ab.. Sop now the Coat is clear, I may venture to call out my | Drummer. —— But firft let me fhut the Door, icf we be fur- prizd. Mr. Fantome, Mr. Bantome! (He beats.\ Nay, nays pray.come out, the Enemy ’s fled {muit fpeak with ‘yes im- [The back Scene opens and difcovers Fantome witha Drumt Fan. Dear Mrs. Naddy, I have overheard all that has been faid, and find thou haft. manag‘d this thing fo weil, that [ coud) 4b. Weil, O my Confcience, you are s the merrieft Ghoft.'and the very Pidure of Sir George Truman. } Fan. Theré you flatter mes Mrs. 40iga/; SieGeorge had that frefh- i i Ab. Oh! Death may havealter’d you, youknow —befides, you - Fam. Ay that’s right; let me look never fo pale, this Cu crofs my Forehead will keep me in Countenance: dé. “Tis juft fuch a one as my Mafter receiv’d from a me French Trooper, as my Lady’s Letter inform’d her. Fan, It happens luckily that this Suit of -Cloaths of si, George's fits me fo well; I think I can’c fail hitting the Air o/ aManwith whom dwas fodong acquainted. - 4b. You are the very. Man ——I vow l almoft Rest when look pon you. — Fan. But what good will this do mey if § muft remain in) | Ab. Pray watlias good did your. being vifible: to ‘you! > the fai Mr. Fantome thoughtno Womancou’d withfand him —Batwhe takena full forvey of you,’ and heardl all the pretty things yo} noify Creature Tinfe/, She fancies you have been gone fro hence this einai | a yg Fa; at 2 Pe f ope eae at a ‘gesapsns chr gh ey bank ea ses ee patie i PF 7an. Why ‘really I lave thy Lady fo- well, tae tho’ I no hopes of gaihing her for my felf, I cou’d not bear to fee siven to another; efpecially to fuch a Wretch 2g Tinfels eae Ab, Well,, tell me truly Mr. Fantome, have not you agreat a Opinion of my Fidelity to my dear Lady, that I wou'd noffut fer her to be deluded in this manner, for lefs than a Thonfand. ¥ Pound? -- Fan. Thou art always reminding. me of my Promifc— thou fhalt have ity if thou canft bring our Project to bear ; do’ft not know that Stories of ree cae and Apparitions: generally end-ina i. : s Pot of Money ? Ab. Why, truly now Mr. Fantome, 1 thou'd think my felf : tefs. < Fan. Dear Abigal, baw? L admire thy Virtue! 4. Ab. No, no, Mr. Fantome, 1 defy the worft of my Enemies : ‘ to fay E love Mifchief for Mifchief fake. Fan. But is thy Lady. perfwaded that I am the Ghoft. of her ae deceafed Husband> Ab. Lendeavour to make her believe fo, ind tell her every tine , »your Drum rattles, ‘that her Husband is chiding her: for enter- taining thismew Lover. Fan.-Prithee make ufe of all thy ‘Att, for Iam tir'’d to Death with ftrowling round _ wine, Old Houfe, like a ge behind a ‘Wainfcot. 6. Did not I tell. you, “twas the pureft ta in the World for you to play your Tricks in; there’s none of the F ae that knows every Hole and Corner i in it, befides my felf. Fan. Ah Mrs. Abigail! You have had your Intrigues. } ; | wasamightylover of Hide-and Seek. Fan..\ believe, by this Time, Tam as well acquainted with ‘the Houfe as your felf. Ab. You are very much miftaken, Mr. Fantomes but no hind ois ter for that; ‘here is to be your: Station to Night. This is the Place’ unknown to any one living-befides my felf, fince the Death ‘of the Joyner; who, you muft underftand, being a Lover’ of tir contriv’d the Wainfcot to move to and fro,: in the manner that you find it. I defi ic for a Wane for my Lady’s caft Ce a aii : so t : 4b. For you muft know when I was a romping’ young Gin vit ae very bad Woman, if I had done. what I do): ‘for a. ee = ok be aes Oh! “thevstodichily BS Pettycoats, ‘Commodes, | lac’'d Shoves, and good things that I -have had in it!- ‘pray “take care you don’t break the Cherry- -Brandy - Bottles that ftands- up inthe Corner. ~ " Fan. Well Mrs. Abigal, 3 hire your Clofet of you, but for’ this one Night—a thoufand Pound you know is a very goodRent. — Ab. Well, get you gone; you have fuch a way with you. : ion no denying you any thing! - Fan, Vn a thinking how Tinfel will flare, when he fees-me~ come out of the Wall: for Iam refolved to make - a ae ae to Night. Ad. Get you in, get you in, - * my Lady’s at the Bean Fan. Pray take care fhe doesnot keep me up fo late, as fhe — did laft Night; or.depend. upon it Pi beat the Tattoo.. Ab. Ya undone, Lm undone [As he ts going in| Mr. - . Fantome, Mr. Fantome, - you have put the thoufand Pound ‘- Bond into my Brother's Hands. . Fan, ‘Thou thalt have it, [tell thee, thou fhalt have it. [Fantome oes ia. Abs No sipre Wiordse Vanifh, Vanith. Enter Lady. Ss Ab. [opening the Door] Oh, dear Madam, was it you thar | made fuch a knocking > my Heart does fo beat I vow you “have frighted me to Death —- I thought verily-it had been the © Drummer. | Lady. 1 gave been fhowing fhe Osten, to Mr. Tinfels he’s mot < infufferably witty upon us about this Story. of the Drum. | Ab. Indeed, Madam, he’s:a very loofe: Man! I’m afraid’tis he that hinders my poor Mafler, from refting in-his Grave. : Lady, Well! an Infidel is fach aNovelty in the Country, that: I am refolv’d to divert my felf aDay ortwoat leaft with the Odd- nefs of his Converfation. Ab. Ah, Madam! the Drum begun.to beat ‘in the Houfe as foon as ever this Creature was admitted to vifit you. All the | while Mr, Fantome made his Addrefles to you, there was nota - ‘Moufe ftirring in the Family more than us‘d to be— Lady. This Baggage has fome Defign upon me, more than I can yet difcover. [afide] —. Mr. Fantome was always. thy. Fa- -vourite. . es AY, and fhou'd have been yours too, by my Confent! Mr. | Se -. Fantome F umtome was net foch- a fight fantaftick eile as athe is. = Fanteme was the beft-buile Man one ‘fhou’d fee in a Summ “Day! Mr. Favtvme was-a Man of Honour, and lov’d you! Poor ' Soul! how has he figh’d-when he has talk’d to me of my hard Ts | hearted Lady ——~ Well! I had as lief asa thoufand Pound, you ‘i —-wou'd marry Mr. Fantome ! Lady. To tell thee truly, 1 lov’d him well enough till I fori he lov’d me fo much. But Mr. Trafe/ makes his Court to me _ Jation in him - with fo much Negle&t and Indifference, and-with fach an agrec- able Saucinefs— Not that I fay Pl) marry him. pacle 7s a f ° 7! Ab. Marry him, quoth-a! no, if you fhould, you ll be ine be Lady. Why wilt thou needs have it 6 be my Hoshands ? he never had any reafon to be offended at me. I always lov'd him “while he was living, and fhou’d prefer him-to any Man, werehe fo ftill.. Mr. Ténfes is indeed very idle in his Talk, but I fancy Abigal, a difcreet Woman might reform him. Ab. That’s a likely matter indeed; did you ever Her of a Wo- i man who had Power over a Man, her fhe was his Wife, ee : had none while fhe was his Miftrefs ! Oh! there’s nothin the World improves a Man in his Complaifance like ‘ riage! —~ Lady. He is indeed, st pibtent; too familiar in his Conver- fation. Ab. Familiar! Madam, in Troth he’s dou right r rude. ~ Lady. But that you know, 4igal, fhows he has no Diffimu- grave Subjets.. Ab, Grave Subje&s! ‘he jefts upon the Church: ~ Lady. But that you know, Abgal, may be onlyto fhow his Wit— Then it muft be own’d, he Js extrcamly Talkative. Ab. Talkative d’ye'call it! he’s down-right Impertinent. * Then he is Put to jeft a little too much per : Lady. re ken’d fooner than married Couples generally are — You'll quick- davies, — dy have a Drum at your Window. Lady. VN hide my Contempt of Tinfel for once, if it be but ~ to fee what this Wench drives at. [Bide Aa. Why, fuppofe your Husband, after this fair Warning he has given yous fhou’d found you an Alarm at Midnight; then __ open your Curtains with a Face as pale as my Apron, and cry out with a hollow Voice, What doft thou do in Bed with this _ -Spindle-fhank’d Fellow? tock The Flaunted rot tide ~~ Lady. But that you know, 4digal, is a Sign he has been. usd to good Company ——— Then indeed he is very pofitive. Ab. Pofitive! Why he contradicts you in every thing you | > ae ee eee cs its ie ae. Eee js fmt 4, Se So 5 ge @ | = cee eM aye : 2 5 iss. But then you know, 4bigal, he has been educated at © the Inns of Court. ies | oo ter: Ab. A bleffed Education indeed! it has made him forget his ~ ‘Catechifm! ee : rc ro Lady. You talk as if you hated him. Ab. You talk as if you lov'd him. Lady. Hold your Tongue! here he comes. : Enter Tinfel. 3 Tin. My dear Widow! Ab. My dear Widow! marry come up! [4Mfide.- Lady. Let him alone, 4é7gal; fo long as he does not call me My dear Wife, there’sno Harm done. af _ Yin, V have been moft ridiculoufly diverted fince I left you =- . -— Your Servants have made a Convert of my Booby. His Head . is fo filled with this foolifh Story of a Drummer, that I expect _ the Rogue will be afraid hereafter to go upon a Meflage by . - Moon-light. .__ a ~ .. Lady. Ah, Mr. Tinfel, what a-Lofs of Billet-doux would "that be to many a fine Lady! : : Ab. Then you ftill believethis to bea foolith Story ? I chought my Lady had told you, that fhe had heard _it her felf. z Tin. Hay ha; ha! ~ : . ee a 4b. Why, you would. not perfwade us out of our Senfes? ~ Zim. Ha,-ha, ha! : 3 — rae : Ab. There’s Manners for you, Madam. . [Aide. - Lady. Admirably: rally’d! that Laugh is unanfwerable! _ Now Il be hang’d if you could forbear being witty upon me, “| ~ if d fhould tell you I heard it no longer ago than laft Night. Zin. Fancy! =. ee ec dek ks | Lady. But what if I fhould tell you my Maid was withme! — | Jim, Vapours! Vapours! Pray, my dear Widow, will you | 3 anfwer me one Queftion? --- Had you ¢ver thisNvife ofaDrum. | = _- in your Head, all the while your Husband was living? > = Lady. And pray, Mr. Tinfel, will'you lét me ask you another . ~ Quefion? Do you think we can Hear in the Country, aswellas _ you'doin Town? he. : IY ges ° T oan * eee a ee ‘ jority Tin. Believe me,. Witem, T oete prefcribe you a Cure for thefe Imaginations. Ab. Don’t tell my Lady of Imaginations, Sir, I have heaed: -it my fclf. Tin. Hark thee, Child — art thou-not an old Maid? psy es Ab. Sir, if | am, it ismy own Fault. : Tin. Whims! Freaks! Megrims! indeed Mrs. Abigal. si Ab. Marry, Sir, by your Talk one would believe you thought | every thing that was good is a Megrim. Lady. Why truly | don’t very well underftand what you meant” by your Do&rine to me in the Garden juft now, that every thing we faw was made by Chance. Ab. Avery pretty Subdjeé& indeed for a Lover to divert his’ -Miftrefs with. - Lady. But I fuppofe that was only a Tafte of the Conver- fation you would entertain me with after Marriage. Tin. Oh, I thall then have time to read you fuch Lectures of Motions, Atoms, and Nature that you ‘hall learn to think as Freely as the beft of us, and be convinced in-lefs than a _ Month, that all about us is Chance-work. Lady. You are a very complaifant Perfon indeed; andfo you | { would make your Court to me, by perfwading me that 1 was _ made by Chance! i Tin. Ha, ha, ha! well faid, my Dear! why, faith, chan wert avery lucky Hit, that’s certain! 2 Lady, Pray, Me. Tinfel, where did you learn this odd way oA |. of talking? | Tin. Ah; Widow, ’tis your Country Innocence makes you _ think it an odd way of talking. — . i Lady. Tho’ you give no Credit to Stories of Apparitions, i hope you belicve there are fuch things as Spirits! Zin. Simplicity! e, Ab, I fancy you don’t believe Women have Souk, dye Sir? - _ Yin. Foolifh enough! bl Lady. | vow, Mr. Tinfél, Pm afraid: malicious People wil - fay I'm in Love with an Atheift. 4 Tim. Oh, my Dear; that’s an old-fafhion’d Word —— Tm : _ a Free.thinker, Child. | 4b. Lam fase you are a Freeefpeaker! | 3 L£10u ouje. — bi AI pes Really, Mr. T, infel confidering that you are fo fine a. ~. Gentleman, I’m amaz’d where you got all this ‘Learning ! I wonder it has not fpoil'd your Breeding. Tin. To tell you the Truth, I have not time to look Stal thefe dry Matters my felf, but Iam conyine’d by four or five learned Men, whom [ fometimes over-hear at a Coffee-houfe I frequent, that our Fore-fathers were a Pack of Affes, that the World has been in an Error for fome Thoufands of Years, and that all the People upon Earth, excepting thofe two or ‘three worthy Gentlemen, are impos’d upon, cheated, bubbled, abused, - bamboozl’d. Ab, Madam, how can you hear fuch a Prefligate ? > he talks | like the London Prodigal. Lady. Why really;~I’'m a thinking, if there be no fuch shies | as Spirits, a Woman has no Occafion for marrying | She need not be afraid to lye by her felf. Tin. Ah! my Dear! are Husbands good for nothing but to. frighten away Spirits? Doft thou think 1 could not inftruét thee _ in feveral other Comforts of Matrimony > Lady, Ah! but-you are a Man of fo much Knowledge, that you would always be laughing at my Ignorance You learn- ed Men are fo apt to defpife one! Zin. No, Child! Id teach thee my Principles, thou fhould’tt be as. wife as I am ina Weck’s time. Lady. Do you think your Principles wanid make a Woman the better Wife? “Tin. Prithee, Widow, don’t be. queer. Lady. Vlove a gay Temper, but I would not hayé you rally things that are ferious. Tim. Well enough faith! where’s the Jeft of rallying any _ thing elfe/ Ab. Ah, Madam, did“ you ever bes Mr. Fantome talk at this Rate? | Hide. Tin. But where’s this Ghoft! this Son of a Whore of a Drummer? I'd fain hear him methinks. 4b. Pray, Madam, don’t fuffer him to give the Ghoft Rich ill Language, efpecially when you have Reafon to believe it is my Matter. | _- Yin. That’s well enough faith, Nas; doft thou think chy Matter i is fo unreafonable, as to continue his Claim to his Re- ; C2 \ Litt Fl i. Ab, Hum—- Sauce-box. : ag [Afade. Tin. °Tis the Solitude of the Country that creates thefe _ Whimfies; there was never fach a thing as a Ghoft heard of at | London, except in the Play-houfe——- Ohwe’d pafs all our time in London, *Tis the Scene of Pleafure’and Diverfions, — where thete’s fométhing to amufe you every Hour of theDay. Life’s not Life in the Country.’ Lady. Well then, you have an Opportunity of thowing the . Sincerity of that Love to me which you profefs. You may givea Proof that you havean Affection to my Perfon, not my Jointure. Tin. Your Jointure! How canyou think me fucha Dog! — But, Child, won't your Jointure be the fame thing in London — - asin the Country? | Lady. Nos you’te deceiv'd ! You mutt know it is fettled on me by Marriage-Articles, on Condition ‘that I live in this old Manfion- Houle, ‘and-keep it up in Repair. = Rin Tin. How! ee. | _ Ab. That’s well put, Madam. Tin. Why faith I have been looking upon this Houfe, and think it-is the prettieft Habitation ever faw in my Life. Lad}. Ay, but then this cruel Drunr ! e Tin, Something fo venerable in’ it! * Lady. Ay, but the Drum! . hg Fp. For my part, I like this Gothick Way of Building better than any of your new Orders—— ic wou'd be a thoufand’pities it fhou'd fall co Rum, | ~ geet. oo egal 2 7 Deoay, Ay, outthe Drum tf. et in ‘How ’pleafantly we two eg Pips our Time” in this delicious Situation. Our Lives wou’d be a continued Dream _ of Happinefs. Come, faith, Widow, let’s go gee the Leads, and take a View of the Country. { Lady. Ay, but the Drum! the Drum! Tin. My Dear, take my Word for’t tis all ae: Befides, fhou’d he drum in thy very Bed-Chamber, I fhou'd omy hug - thee the clofer. Clafp'd in the Folds of Loves I'd meet my Doon, and act m my Foys, “aul Thunder fee the Roora, ACT IL SCENEL: Letter in his Hand. fs Ge IS Letter aftonifheth smay I believe my own Eyese2 = or rather my Spectacles—— Zo Humphrey Vellum Ef Steward to the Lady Truman, | . | | Vellum, | : Doubt not but you will be glad to hear your Mafter is alive, I and defigns to be with you in half an Hour. The Report of a TO ae ‘ae ee : CENE opens, and difcovers Vellum in his Office, is, ‘ oe my being [lain in the Netherlands, has, I find, produced Some Dif. ~ | orders in my Family, Iam now at the George-Inn: If an old Man with a grey Beard, in a black Cloak, enquires after yous qtve him Admittance. He paffes for a Conjurer, but is really _ Lour Faithful Friend, 4 ; | G. Truman, ? S. Let this be a Secret, and you foall find your Account in it. a i . ’ “a | [his amazeth me! and yet the Reafons why I fhould believe “ie is ftill living are manifold —— Firft, Becaufe this has often yeen the Cafe of other Military Adventurers, __ Secondly, Becaufe the News of his Death was firft publith’d | a Dier’s Letter, * | i Thirdly, Becaufe this Letter can be written by none bug Vani I know his Hand, and manner of Spelling. | Enter Butler. ; _ But. Sir, here’s a ftrange old Gentleman that asks for you; _€ fays he’s a Conjurer, but he looks very fufpicious; I with _ eben’t a Jefuir. ee rere: _ Fel. Admit him immediately. ; Fourthly, -) Conjurer. . | Kel. He fays right He is no more than. a-Conjurer. \ting bim in and withdraw. [Exit Butler, , | And Fourthly, As I was faying, Becauft— _ But. \ with he ben’t a Jefuit; but he fays he’s nothing but ae ee ‘© Enter * Thee Peart =) _ ” The Haunted Houfee = » Enter Butler with Sir. George. i But. Sir, here is the Conjurer— What a devilith long Beard _ he has! I warrant it has been growing thefe hundred Years, ees fe eae : is (Afide. Exit, Sir. G. Dear Vellum, you have receiy’d my Letter: But. before we proceed lock the Door. ths: ~Pel- It is his-Voice. [ Shuts the Door, Str. G@, In the next place help me off with this cumberfome - Cloak. eine Ved. Itis his Shape. dir G, So, now lay my Beard upon the Table. Vel. { After having look'd om Sir George thro’ his Spectacles} - It is his Face, every Lineament! sa i : SirG, Well now, I have put off the Conjurer and the old . Man, | can talk to thee more at my Eafe. vont Vel, Believe me, my good Mafter, I am as much rejoiced to fce you alive, as I was upon the Day you were born. Your Name was, in all the News-Papers, in the Lift of thofe that were flain. ' ETE i S.r G. We have not Time co be particular. I fhall only tell thee in general, that I was taken Prifoner in the Battle, and was under clofe Confinement for feveral Months. Upon my Releafe, ! was rcfclv’d to furprize my Wife with the News of my being alive. I know, Vellum, you are a Perfon of fo much Penetration, that I necd not ufe any further Arguments to con- vince you that I am fo. (ie Vel. | am— and moreover, I queftion not but your good Lady will likewife be convinced of it. Her Ho--nour is a dif eerning Lady. | ; dir G, I?m only afraid the fhou’d be convine'd of it to her Sorrgw. Is not fhe pleas’d with her imaginary Widowhood? Tell me truly, was the afflicted at the Report of my Deaths ” Fel. Sorely. Sir G: How long did her Grief laft? : ( Vel. Longer than 1 have known any Widow’s — at leat _ . three Days. © 2 dir G. Three Days, fayft thou? Three whole Days? I’m _ afraid thou flattereft me !——. O Woman! Woman! Fel, Grek is twofold, «Sir 16 The Drummer; Or, t «Sir G. This Blockhead is is as methodical as ever —— = ty know he’s honeft. [Afide, — | Vet. There is a real Grief, and there is a methodical Grief; fhe was drown’d in Tears ’till fuch time as the Taylor had made her: Widow's Weeds-—— Indeed they became her, Sir G. Became her! And was that her Comfort ? Tey a moft feafonable Confolation! Fel. Butt muft needs fay the paid a due Regard to your _ Memory, and could not forbear weeping when. the faw Com- = age inf G. That was kind indeed! I find the griev’d with a great deal of Good-Breeding. But how comes this Gang of Lovers about her? Vel. Her Jointure is confiderable, — | Sir G. How this Fool torments me! [Afte ; Kel. Her Perfon is amiable— | - Sw G. Death! Afide. Vel, But her Charaéter is unblemifh’d. She has been a vit- tuous in your Abfence as a Penelope— _ Sir G. And has had as many Suitors. | Fel. Several have made ther Overtures. ; i? Sir G. Several! : Vel. But fhe has rejeted all. is Sir G. There thou reviv'ft me— But what means Chin ceeee Are his Vifits acceptable> , Vel. He is young. Sir G. Does the liften to him? Vel. He is gay. Sir G. Sure the could never entertain a Thought of marry= ing fuch a Coxcomb! paste sie Vel. He is not ill made. 4 Sir G. Are the Vows and Proteftations that paft between us _ come to this! I can’t bear the Thought of it! Is Zinfed the Man 2 defign’d for my worthy Succeffor? \oOe >, : Vel. You do not confider that you have been uae thefe vl “fourteen Months er: dir. G. Was there ever fuch a Dog ? me, (Aide, ; Vel. And J have often heard her fay, that fhe mut expect to find a fecond Sir. G. Truman—— meaning ear er 3 ees.) ahs : .: ee Sa : Uae we > Sir G.I think fhe fov’d me, but I muft fearch into this Story of the Drummer before! difcover my felf to her. Ihave put on_ this Habit of a Conjurer, in order to introduce my felf. It muft- the firft that ever was employ’d to lay himfelf. 3 D be your Bufinefs. to recommend me as a moft profound Perfon, _. that by my great Knowledge in the curious Arts.can filence the - Drummer, and difpofiefs the Houfe. a; Vel, 1 am going to lay my Accounts before my Lady, and {will endeavour to prevail ‘upon her Ho--nour to admit the Tryal of your Art. : 5g eae dir G. Lhave-fearce heard of any of thefe Stories that did not arife from a Love Intrigue Amours raife as many _ Ghofts as Murders. : Vel. Mrs. Abigal endeavours to perfwade us, that ’tis your Ho--nour who troubles thé Houfe. Sir G. That convinces me ‘tis a Cheat; for E think, Vé//am, I may be pretty well affur'd it is not me. geet awe te _ Vel. 1 am apt to think fotruly. Ha— ha— ha! ‘ Sir G, Abigal had always‘an Afcendant over her Lady, and if there is a Trick in this Matter, depend upon it fhe is at the _ Bottom of it. I'll be hang’d if this Ghoft be not one of 42 gals Familiars. me oi, Vel. Mrs. Abigal has of late been very myfterious. — . Sir G. I fancy, Vel/um, thou could’ft worm it out of her, - I know formerly there was an Amour between you: | Vel. Mrs. Avigal hath her Allurements, and the’knows I _ have pick’d up a Competency in your Ho.--nour’s Service. Ser G. If thou ha’ft, all I ask of thee in retufn is, that chow would’{t immediately renew thy Addreffes to her. Coax her b up. Thou haft fucha Silver Tongue, Vel/am, as ’twill be im- pofible for her to withitand. Befides, fhe is fo very. a Wo- man, that fhe’ll like thee the better for giving her the Pleafure ~ of telling aSecret. In fhort, wheedJe her out of it, and I fhall act by the Advice which thou giveft me. EL GE: Vel. Mrs. Abigal was never deaf to me, when J talked upon _ that Subje@. Iwill take an Opportunity of addrefling my felf to her in the moft pathetick Manner. © : _ Sir G. In the mean time lock me up in your Office, and bring me word what Succefs:yow have———- Well; fure {am Fel, aA LO. ae eee. P) \ BE asi ah Bg "e my # fe. A <7 ays rf aia Wet fe ihe a a ot Vel. You a&t indeed a threefold Part in this Houfe; you are a Ghoft, a Conjurer, and my Ho--noured Matter Sir George | Truman; he, he, he! You will pardon me for being jocular, — Sir G. O, Mr. Vellum, with all my Heart. You knowI ~ love you Menof Wit and ‘Humour. Be as merry as thou - pleafeft, fo thou do'ft thy Bufinefs. [M:micking him] You will remember, Vel/um, your Commiflion is two-fold, firft to gain Admiffion for me to your Lady, and fecondly to get the secret out of Abigal, ane 7 Fel, \t fufficeth. The Scene fouts. ‘ Golies , : Enter Lady fola: es: ave Lady, Women who have been happy in.a firft Marriage, are the moft apt to venture upon a fecond. But for my part, I had a Husband fo every way fuited to my Inclinations, that I mutt entirely forget him, before I can like another Man. [have now been a Widow but fourteen Months, and have had twice as many Loyers, all of ’em profeft Admirers of my Perfon, but paffionately in love with my Jointure. I think it is a Revenge I owe my Sex to make an Example of. this worthlefs Tribe of — Fellows, who grow impudent, drefs them{elves fine, and fancy we are oblig’d to provide for’em. But of all.my Captives, Mr. Tinfel is the moft extraordinary in his kind. I hope the ~ _ Diverfion I give my felf*with him is unblameable. I’m fure’tis neceflary to turn my Thoughts off from the Memory of that _ dear Man, who has been the greateft Happinefs and Affliction ~ of my Life. My Heart would be.a Prey to Melancholy, if I did not find thefe innocent Methods of relieving it. But here comes Abigal. I muft teaze the Baggage, for I find the has. taken it into her Head that I am entirdy at her Difpofal. _ ; oe Enter Abigal. 3 Ab. Madam! Madam! yonder’s Mr. Yia/e/ has as good as taken Poffeffion of your Houfe. Marry, he fays, he muft have - Sir George's Apartment enlarg’d; for truly, fays he, I hate to. © be ftraiten’d. Nay, he was fo impudent as to fhew me the Chamber where he intends to confummate, ashe calls it. _ Lady. Well! he’s a wild Fellow. | ab. Indeed he’s a very fad Man, Madam. . a * ; ‘ + j :. L , a » » ae 2 _ Vee sf Lady, He's young, Abigal, "tis a thoufand Pities he fhould - be loft ; I fhould be mighty glad to reform him. “Ab. Reform him / marry hang him! | _ Lady. Has not he a great deal of Life? _ Ab. Ay, enough to make your Heart ake, © _ Lady. 1 dare fay thou think’ft hima very agreeable Fellow. Ab. He thinks himfelf fo, Pil anfwer for him. Lady. He's very-good-natur'd! Ab. He ought to be fo, for he’s very filly. ~ + Lady. Doft thou think he loves me? Teg Ab. Mr. Fantome did 1 am fure. Lady, With what Raptures he talk’d! Aha Ab. Yes, but twas in Praife of your Jointure-Houfe. - Lady, He has kept bad Company. Ab. They mutt be very bad indeed, if they were worfe than himfelf. : Lady. Uhave a ftrong- Fancy a good Woman might re- form him. | . as Ab, It wou'd be a fine Experiment, if it fhou’d not fucceed. Lady. Well, Abigal, we'll talk of that another time; here comes the Steward, I have no further Occafion for you. at. _ prefent. | [Exit Abigal: ) Enter Vellum. © Fel. Madam, is your Ho—nour at Leifure to look into the Accounts. of the laft Week? They rife very high— Houfe- keeping is chargeable in a Houfe that ishaunted. Lady. How comes that to pafs? I hope the Drum neither eats nor drinks? But read your Account, Vellum. Vel. | putting on and off his Spectacles in this. Scene} A Hog- fhead anda Half of Ale—it is not for the Ghoft’s Drinking — But your Ho—nour’s Servants fay they muft have fomething. to keep up their Courage againft this ftrange Noffe. Fhey tell me they expect a double Quantity of Malt in their Small-Beer fo long as the Houfe continues in this Condition. : _ Lady. At this rate they'll take care to be frighten’d all the Year round, I'll anfwer for em. But go on. Vel, Item, Two Sheep, and z—— Where is the Ox? Oh, here I have hir and an Ox Your Ho—nour mutt al- - ways have a Piece of culd Beef in the Houfe for the Entertain- _ ment of fo many Strangers, who come from all Parts to hear : Digi ays A this - this D e aR: ite Beak ten. mn Pecks k:ceier ois hep Beef without Bread——— Item, three Barrels of Table peti ent et gE 6x: They muft have Drink with their Meat. Lady, Sure no Woman in England has a Steward that rhe: fuch ingenious Comments on’ his Works. 4 Vel. Item;to Mr. Tinfet's Servants five Pitoles of Port Wine— It was by your Ho--nour’s Order —— Item, three Bottles of Sack for the ufe of Mrs. Adiga. Fhe I fuppofe that was by Your own Order. Vel. We have been long Friends, we are your Ho--nour’ 3 An- cient Servants, Sack isan Innocent Cordial, and gives her Spirit to chide the Servants, when they are tardy in their Bus’nefs; he, - -he,. he! pardon me for being Jocular. Lady. Well, I fee you'll come together at laf, Vel. Item, a. dozen Poundof Watch: Lights a the Ufe of the Servants. Lady. For the Ufe of theServants! What, are re the Rogues a- fraid of fleeping in the Dark? What an unfortunate Woman ami I! This is {uch a particular Dittrefs, it puts me to my ‘Wits End. Vellum, what wou’d you advife me todo? of Vel,. Madam, your Ho--nour ‘has two: Points to confider, Ti primis, Fo retrench thefe Extravagant Expences, which fo man Strangers bring upon you. | - But. No, no, you Fool, he’s come a purpofe to lay the Spiri Coach. Ay inarry that’s ‘good News indeed; But where is he 2 But. He’s lock'd up with the’ Steward in his Office, they ar day ing their Heads together very ciofe. I fancy they are cafting “ga Figure. Gard. Prithee ohn what fort of a Creature is a Conjurer? Bat, Why he's made much as other Menare,. if it was not fol his long grey Beard. : Coach. Look ye Péter, it ftands with reafon, that-a Conjur : fhou’d have a long grey Beard ———s0F did ys ever t know a Witc that was not an Oid ne: 2: : | Gar Gard. Vhy ! Tremember a C on my thinking was a very Smock-fac njurer once at a Fayr, that to d Man, and yet he fpew'd Soe any Yards of green Ferret. I fancy, Johny if thou'dft get him a the Pantry and give him a Cup of Ale, he’d thew usa few ricks,. Do’ft think we cou'd not perfuade him to fwallow one _ of thy Cafe-Knives for-his Diverfion? He'll certainly iis it np ag alp. ” But. Peter! thou art fuch a Wife. acre! Thou do’ft not know the Difference between a Conjurer and a Jugler. This Man muft be a very great Mafter of his Trade. His Beard is at leaft half a Yard long, he’s drefs’d in a ftrange dark Cloak, as black as a Cole, your Conjurer always goes in Mourning. Gard. Is he a Gentleman, had he a Sword by his Side? But. No, no, he’stoo grave a Man for that, a Conjurer isas trave as a Judge, but he had a long white Wand in his. fand. Coach. You may be fure there’s a good deal of Vertue in that Wand I fancy ‘tis made out of Witch Elm. Gard. | warrant you if the Ghoft appears, hell whisk ye that Wand before his Eyes, and ftrike you the Drur--ftick out of. his aati. veh But. No; the Wand, look ye, is to make a Circle, and he — nce gets the Ghoft in aCircle, then he has him ‘let him get ut again if he can. A Circle, you muft: know, Is a Von jaeees Tra Check. But what will he do with him, when he has him here ? / But; Why then he’ll overpower him with his Learning. Gard. If he can once compafs him, and get him in Lobs-Pound, ell make nothing of him, but fpeak a few hard Words to him, nd perhaps bind him over to his good Behaviour, for-a Thou- and Years. Coach, Ay; ay, he'll fend him. packing to his Grave again vith a Flea in his Ear, I warrant him. - But. No, no, I wou’d advife Madam to {pare no Coft.. If he Conjurer be but well paid, hell take pains upon the Ghot, f lay him; look eo in the Red-Sea and then he’s laid for Coach, Ay marys that worrd fpoil his Drum for him. ar _ Gards Y- . Gard. aie ‘Din, a rhe mutt feu: power of "Spirit in that fame Red-Sea——— I warrant ye they are as plenty as Fifh. . Coach, Well, 1 with after all that‘he may not be too hard for ‘the Conjurer; I’m-afraid he'll fiad a tough bit of work on’t.. Gard, 1 with the sepa may not any a Corner of the Houfe off with him. But. As for that, Peter, you may be fure that the Stewatd has made his Bargain with the Cunning-Man beforehand, that he fhall ftand to all Cofts, and Damages But hark! yon- der’s Mrs. Abigal, we fhall have her with us ammmediatelys if we do not get off. Gard. Ay Lads! if we could get Mrs. hon well laid too we fhould lead merry Lives. For to a Man like me that’s Stout and Bold, A Ghoft is not fo dreadful us a Scold, - 1 HGR | } ~ ' ‘ ie . 7 ex ACT I. SCENEL SCE N E, opens, and aifcovers dir George i# Vellum’ Ny . fia | SaG. Wonder I don’t hear of Vellum yet. But I-know his Wifdom will do nothing rafhly. ~The Fellow has been fo us’d to Form in Bufinefs, that it has infeéted his whole . Converfation. But 1 muft not find Fault with that pundual z and exaét Behaviour which has been of fo much Ufe to me; my . iftate1 is the better for it. _ Enter Vellum. Well Vellum, Ym impatient to hear your Succefs. | Vel. Firft, let me lock the Door. . Sir G. Will your Lady admit me? Vel. Uf this Lock is not merded foon, it will be quite fpoiled. Sir G. Prithee let the Lock alone at prefent, and anfwer me. Vel. Delays in Bufinefs are dangerous 1 muft fend for the Smith next Week- and in the mean time will take a_ minute of it. _» Sir G. But what fays your. Lady? . : Vel, This Pen is naught, and wants a ra My Lady, - pais you fay ? Str G. Does fhe admit me? , _ Wel, Vhave gain’d Admiffion for you as a Conjurer. ' §ir G. That’s encugh! Ill gain admiffion for my felf asa Husband. ‘Does fhe believe there's any thing in my Art ? _ Vel. Xt is hard to know what a Woman believes. * | | §ir G.- Did fhe ask no Queftions about me? Kel. Sundry. -She defires to talk with you her felf, befone | you enter upon your Bufineds. Sir G. But when? \ Pel. Immediately. This riflnt. Sir G. Pugh. What haft thou been doing all this while! te did not tell me fo? Give me my Cloak - Have you yet met with 4ogal? Vel. \ have not yet had an Opportunity of talking with her. | But we: have interchanged fome languifhing Glances, — a Ser i Let thee alone: for that Vellum, VP have formerly ‘(bis te ogle: hes Shroughi. thy, Ie iiss Well! LES. a. moft | “Vene- ' — Come hither, Hufly, give mea Kifs, Don’r be ill-natur’d. Venerable Cloak., After the bufinefs of this Day is overs Pil _ tnake thee a Prefent of it. *Twill become thee mightily. Vel. He, he, he! wou'd you take a ag sph 2 of i Stew- ard? & with my Beard. Sir G. Prithee don't be Joculary Voit in hatte. Help. me of 3 Vel, And what will your He—sour do with your caft Beard> Sir G. Why, faith, thy Gravity wants only fuch a Beard to ~ it; if thou would’fl wear it with the Cloak, thou woud’ft make a moft compleat Heathen Philofopher.. But where’s my Wand? » Vel. A fine taper Stick! It is well chofen. twill keep this till you are Sheriff of the County. It isnot my cuftome to ie ; any thing be loft. sir G. Come Vellum, lead the way. You muft introduce me - to your Lady. Thou’rt the fitteft Fellow in the World to be. a Mafter of the Ceremonies to a Conjurer. [Exeunt Enter Abigal croffing the Stage, Vinfel following. Tinfel. Nabby, Nabby, whither fo faft Child> sh Ab. Keep-your Hands to your felf. I’m going to call the Stew- ‘ard to my Lady. Tin. What? Goodman Two fold ? T met him walking vite a ftrange old Fellow yonder. I fuppofe he belongs tothe Family too. He looks very antique. He muft be fome of the aig ap of this old Manfion-Houfe. Ab- What does the Man mean? Dot think to palin! mey as you do my Lady. Tin. Deiciocs Nabby, tell’ me one thing; What's the reafon thou art my Enemy? Ab. Marry, becaufe I'm a Friend to my Lady. Tin. Doft thou fee any thing about me rea doft not like? Ab. Sir, | know how to be civil. [Kiffes her.) ~ This Rogue will carry off my Lady, if I don’t take care, 4 fAfide. a Husband Ab. ~Ay> now you don't fpeak idly, I-can talk to you. © Tin. have one in my Eye for chops Doft thoti Jove a young . _ Tufty Son of a Whore? ee: Laud, how you talk! Tin. This j isa eae Dog. - Tin. Thy Lips are as foft as Velvet, Abigal, \ mutt get thee | - Ab. — — os , 3 : ; 7 tar of. If thou canft bear with that, he’s a Man for Bs joa he pe Ab. Pray; Mr. Finfel, what may thatbe? e “ge ‘s Ee SS ee ie o> OS ON O'S) SS SC es) ee 1 Wee oS pry hata aA gens Spe, Ey Sey & Toy hE Ser tin stiles Raabe i bet a ee Hire ke gece i, ae ve t .s ' Tinh pve ghd es erage 4b, Ay ! where does he live? Le DA A ane : gh Tm. In the Horfe-Guards— But he has orie ek ki cae ie ‘Tin. He’s but five and twenty Years Old. . 4. ’Tis no matter for his Age, if he has been well cand .Iin. No Man better, Child; he'll tye a Wigg, tofs a make a Pafs, and {wear with fuch a a Grace, as wou'd make t ~ Heart leap to hear him. Pray what has he? Tin. Not a Farthing. 4b, Pax on him, what do-I give him: the heating for! Ape oe ‘ae as for that 1 wou’d make it up to him. ; A Tin. Why look yes Child, as foon as I have married thy i: ; _. Ab. Half thefe Accomplifhments will », provided he has an- Eftate : _ dy, Idefign'to difcard this old: Prig of a Steward, and to put — ae _this-honeft Gentleman, I am fpeaking of; into his place, ay Ab. [afide.| This Fellow’s a Fool tay to him.—Hark! my Lady’s a coming! Tix. Depend upon-it, Nad, I'll remember my Promife. Ab. Ay, and fo will | too— ‘o your Coft. [ Afide.. Ti have no. more. ‘to- bay: [Exit Abigals — Zin, My Dear is purely fitted up. with, a. Maid - — ——e fhall tid the. Houfe of her. . Enter Lady. | Lady. Ohy Mr. Tinfel, Iam glad to meet you: Here, rt am: _ going to give yon-an Entertainment, that won’ be difagreeable 4 Goat toa Man of Wit and Pleafure of the Town There’ may pee be fomething diverting in.a. Converfation between a Conjurery : and this conceited Afs.. - [Afide Tin.. She loves me to Diftradtion, F fee that. Cai ide.) ~Vrithiee,’ es Widow, explain thy: felf. ‘Lad. You muft know here is.a’ Aentiee fort of a Man come to. Town, who undertakes to free the Houfe from ‘this Difturbance. i “The Steward believes him a Conj jurer. - Lin, Ay; thy Steward is Bs one hak di et ~ 4 Nad} ER a er ge Se. 2d n Rm NY ge a ‘Hest to he ie gop a is indeed ant odd Fie | ‘gure ofa Man. ~ Tin. Oh! I warrant you he has ftudy'd the Black Art!- He hay ha! Is not it an Oxford Scholar? Widow, thy Houfe is the moft extraordinarily inhabited of any Widow's this Day in Chriftendom. a Conjurer. ~ Lady. ( Mimicking Tinfel] And you wou'd have it inhabited by. a Fifth, who is a more PaRsanaey Perfon than nok of. all thefe Four. Tin. i’sa {ure + la a Woman loves you, when: the imitates _ your Manner. [a/ide] — = Thov’ rt = {mart, my Dear. But, - fee! fmoak the Doétor. - Enter Vellum, and Sir George i in bis Conjurer’ s Habit... Vel. 1 will introduce this profound Perfon to-your dythip, and then leave him with you——— Sir, this is her Ho—nour. . Sir G. Lknow it well. (Exit Vellum, [Afide, walking in a mufing Pofiure| That dear Woman! The Sight of her un-mans me. I cou’d weep for Tendernefs, did not I, at the fame time, feel an Indignation rife in me, to fee that Wretch with her: And yet I cannot but fmile to fee_ her in the Company of her firft and fecond Husband at the fame time. Lady. Mr. Tinfel do You fiek to him; you are us'd to the Company of Men of Learning. Tin. Old Gentleman, thou doft not look like an Inhabitant of © this World; I fuppofe thou art lately come dee from the Stars. Pray what News is ftirring in the Zodsack? Sir G. News that ought to make the Heart of 3 Coward — tremble. Mars is now entring igto the firft Houfe, and will fhortly appear in all his Doma] Dignities— Tin. Mars? Prithee Father Grey-beard cehan thy felf. | Sir G. The-Entrance of Mars into his Houfe, portends the : ' Entrance ofa Mafter. into this Family and that foon. - Tin. D’ye hear that, Widow? The Stars have cut me out for thy Husband. This Houfe is to have a Mafter, and that foon—= Hark thee, old Gadbury, Is not Mars ed like a young, Fellow . eald Tom Tinfel? 3 Sir G: Not fo much as Pens is like this fa: Kz ane. : I think thy four chief Domefticks are— | - awither'd Abigal —a fuperannuated Steward,-— a Ghoft— and | : Lin. 4 > in Conjun Fop! I fhall fcarce forbear difeovering my felf-——— Ma am told that your Hovufe is vifited with Headed ott ete > Lady, And I am told that you.can quiet them. Imuftconfefs RS hs on ars Pe inthe World. You muft be a very aged Man. Eig § So ~ Sir G. My AfpeG deceives you; What do you think ismy - ie indeed, your Afgeét thows that you have had much Experience eer weal Age o ah BPS dee ATES -« Tin. Y fhou’d guefs thee within three Years of Methufclah. Pri-- anu thee tell me, Was’t not thou born before the Flood? Pa Lady. Truly I fhou’d guefs you to b = sreenniee tae ein your fecond or third > >: Century. EF warrant you, you have Great Grand-childrén with, Beardsa@f a Foot long. Naeger ce |. Sir Gy Ha, ha, hat If there be Truth in Man, 1 inhi Batt fore. he Oi dnd thirty lat Augu/. O! the Study of the Oceult Sciences makes a Man’s Beard grow fafter than you wou'thimagiie, ~~ Lady. What an Etcape you have’ had, Mr. Tinfeh, that you. © were not bred a Scholar! Be | BT OP aha gn i Tin. And fo 1 fancy, Dogtor, thou think ftme an illiterate Fellow, becaufe have a fmooth Chin? a on Sir G. Hark ye, Sir, a Word in your Ear. You-are a Com — comb; by all the Rules of Phyfiognomy: But let that be a Secret © between you and me. ae [ fide to Finfe!. Lady. Pray, Mr. Tinfel, what is it the Doctor whifpers Be ta Tin. Only a Compliment, Child, upon two or three of my Features. «Jt does not become Me. to-repeat 1." 7") "Lady. Pray, Do@or, examine this Gentleman's Face, and\tell me his Fortune. . os mbit se aie es . Sir G. If 1 may believe the Lines of his Face, he likes it bet: — ter than I do, or than you do, fair Lady, = nye Tin. Widow, I hope now thou'rt convinced he’s a Cheat. © a Lady. For my part I believe he’s a ‘Witch— go of Dottor. — Sir G. He will be crofe’d' in Loves and that foon ‘Tin. Prithee, Doétor, tell us the Truth. Doft not thou live ‘ga _ Sir G. Take my Word for it, thou fhalt never: live in my La- geass dy Druman’s Manfion-Houfe. tig +e e nes 2 ee wate Ae e boy ” Le the Beard: vita thos wert ey a 3 a i Lady. Nay Mr. Tinfel, you are ay ae you think 1 woud -omarry a Man that dares not have his Fortune told? Sir G. Let him be angry— F matter no:—. He is but thort- liv’d. He will foon die of Tin. Come, come, {peak out, ‘old en hes is he! hie Fellow makes me burft with Laughing. [Forces a Laugh. Sir G. He will foon die of a Fright -or of the { - let me fee your Nofc ‘AY “tis fo! Tin. You Son of a Whorc! I'll run ye through the Body. Inever yet made the Sun fhine through a Conjurer Lady, Oh, fy. ‘Mr. Tenfel! you will not kill an old Man? _ Tin, An old Man! The Dog fays he’s but Five and thirty. Lady. Oh, fy; Mr.-Tinf, 1 did not gink you could ‘have. ” been fo paflionaté; I hate a -paflionate Put. up your Sword, or I muff never {ee you again. Tiz. Ha, ha, ha! I was ber in jeft, my Dear. I had amind | to have made an Experiment upon the Doétor’s Body. I. -wou'd but have drill’d a lictle Byelet-hole in it, and have feen -. whether he had Art enough to clofe it up again. Sir G. Courage is but ill fhown before a Lady. But fete waa , if ever I mect thee again, thou fhalt find this Arm can wild other Weapons befides this W and. Tin. Wa, hay ha! * Lady, Well, learned Sir,. you are to give a Proof of your Art, not of your Courage. Or if you will fhow your Ee rage, let it be at Nine a Clock- for that is the time the - Noife is generally heard. > Tim. And look ye, old Gentleman, if thou doft not do ui Bufinefs well, Ican tell thee by- the little Skill 1 have, that chou wilt be tofs’d'in a Blanket before Ten. We’ Il do our, Endea- ~ yout to fend thee back to the Stars again. © x i Sir G. Pll go and prepare my felf for the Gapchicnick! i And, Lady, as you expec they thou’d: fucceed to your Withes, treat thatFellow with the Contempt he deférves: [Exit SitG Tin. The faucieft Dog I ever talk’d with in’ my whole Life? Lady. ‘Methisikes he’s a pis aa one: ang fee he’s ho Fool. hiss se clggeeges oe eS . Paue ns ‘ ¥ “e othess ; Ti if | ip Pyorer. ‘ URE 2 Se ees | y . Lady. roe I don't Lice. Sd to baer’ him for; I am re. folv’d to employ him however. When a Sicknefs is deff mic ste, we often try Remedies that we have no great F aith in, Ae Enter Abigal. en = Ab: Madam, the Tea is ready in the Parlour as you PHN pa Lady. Come, Mr. Tenfél, we may there talk of this Subjeét Sat ie 2 more at lcifure. [&xeunt Lady and Tinfel. ‘ph 3 Abigal fola. x gine Sure never any Lady had fuch Servants as mine has! Waly if I get this Thoufand Pound, I hope to have fome of my own. 7 ~ Let me fee, Pil have a pretty tight Girl— juft fuck as I was ae _ ten Yearsago (I'm afraid I may fay twenty) the fhalldrefsme __ | and flatter me-—— for I will be flatter’d, that’s pos! My La- — _ dy’s caft Suits will ferve her after | have given them the wear-~ A eee ing. Befides, when I am worth a Thoufand Pound, I thal en AP ee ae _ tainly carry off the Steward Madam Vellum! how oa _ prettily that will found! here, bring owt Madam Velfum’s = =~ Chaife Nay I donot know but it may be a Chariot gy will break the Attorney’s Wife's Heart for I thall take . Be | place-of every Body. in the Parifh but my Lady. If Ihayea - Son, "he fhall be call'd Fantome. But fee Mr. Vellum, as \ could — with, I know his Humour, and will do my utmoft to gain his - | Heart. 2a Enter Vellum with a Pint of Sack. — — Dy Vel. Mrs. Abigal, don’t 1-break in upon you Goon Ab, Oh, No, Mr. Vellum, your Vifits are always feafonable. Vel, | have brought with mea Tafte of frefh Canary, which te I think is delicious. yi Sa | ~ Ab, Pray fet it down—— I have a Dram-Glafs juft by * LRvKEs in a Ragiewe ie iy pledge you; my Lady’s good Health. | Fel. And your own with it {weet Mrs Abigal.. \ Ad, Pray, good Mr. Vellum, buy me a little Parcel of this _ Sack, and put it under the Article of Tea I would not _ have my Name appcar to it. . i . Vel. Mrs. Abigat, your Name feldom appears in my Bills ' and yet if you will allow me a merry Expreflion——-You aye been che in my Books, Mrs. Ad; tal Ha, ba, ba A 3 Hit ee. 4 ‘e) eat 4 ce tes ae Whee — Fe ee , aay 3 GUTHLE A rit i | Eg Re. BE — a . | lb, Hay ha, ha! Mr. Vellum, youare fuch adry jefting Man! Vel, Why truly, Mrs. 4éigal, I have been looking over my | ‘Papers— and I find you have been a long time my Debtor. - _ _ . 4b. Your. Debtor! For what, Mr. Vellgm? me | _ Fel. For my Heart, Mrs. Abigal —— And our Accounts will _ | not be balanc’d between us, ‘till [ have yours in Exchange for | it. Ha, ha, ha! | ; ea . 4b. Ha, ha, ha! Yow are the moft gallantDun, Mr. Vellum. ~ i Vel. But I am not us’d to be paid by Words only, Mrs.. db¢- — gal; when will you be out of myDebt? _ Pot. ~ Ab. Oh. Mr. Vellum, you make one blufh— My- humbleSer- _yice to you. f - Le tine cs I Vel. 1 muft anfwer you, Mrs. Aozga/,in the Country Phrafe-.. Tour Love is fufficient. a, ha,ha! SEAR Ab. Ha, ha, ha! Well, I muft own I love a merry Man! : Vel, Let me fee, how long is it, Mrs. 4ozgal, fince! firk broke my Mind to you -It was, I'think, Undecimo Guliel- } Seo mi —— We have convers’d together théfe fifteen Years- | and yet, Mrs. 4éjga/, 1 muft drink to our better Acquaintance. ~ | | : He; he, he— Mrs. Abigal, you know I am naturally jocofe. 4b. Ah, you. Men love to make Sport with us filly Creae | tures. Sean | | : Aa _ Pel: Mrs. Abigal, I have a Trifle about me, which I wou’d . | willingly. make you. a Prefent of. It is indeed but a little Toy. oe Ab, You are always tinged Se obliging: hg eae Vel, It is but a little Toy— fcarce worth your Acceptance, . 4b.. Pray do not keep me in Sufpence; what is u, Mr Vellum ? | whee | ss - | Vel, ASGilver Thimble. = ee - Ab. TL always faid Mr. Vellum was a generous Lover. Vel. But I muft put it on my felf, Mrs. Abiga/- Youhave | the pretticft Tip of a Finger -Imufttake the Freedom to’ . falute it. | : : Rae | _ Ab. Oh fye! youmake me afham’d, Mr. Vellum, how car you do.fo? I proteft | am in fuch a Confufior ee 2 wae , (A feign'd Struggle, —— Vel. This Finger is not the Fingef of Idlenefs; it bears the’ honourable Scars of the Needle ‘But why are you fo cruel | - as mot to pare your Nails? | a i Sl Sue Ab, Se & being fo. 7 : : ger agair. bour-——— A. Wedding Ring would become it mightily ——Hi ar See 2s 3 hey he. pare - PrN Sie Bee iy ee “Ab. Youre fo full of your Jokes. Ays but where muft I find - blem. The firft will put you in mind of being a good Hiafwaife, — ee _and the other of being a good Wife. Ha, ha, ha! — ae Se Vellum, there is no refufing you, you have fuch. a bewitching . i ; eS : ——— +f i= rs EAT Wtret tie erie * x Sie Pa a BEATS i oe cals: et ss a ey? prefs it fo hard! pray give Fel. This Middle Finger; Mrs. Abigal, : has-a pretty Ne 4b, Oy 1 ow you one for it? . ‘ rae eS 2 @ Vel, -deGien this Thimble only as the Forerunner of it, they — ; will fet off each others, and are -—— indeed a twofold’ Em-. «= Ab. Yes, yes, [fee you laugh at me< Vel. Undeedt am ferious. * cn Si Pee Ab. I thought you had quite, forfaken me———I amy fure you cannot forget the many repeated Vows and Promifts you for- — ‘merly made me. ; te” a a Vel. 1 fhou’d. as foon forget the Multiplication Tables ~ - “sr ag ON. 8 Sa Ab, Vhave always taken ‘your part before my lady! 2. ~~ Vel. XYouhave fo, and I have Izem'd it incmy Memory. _ Ab. For \ have always look’d upon your Intereft as my own. * . - Ped. It is nothing but your Cruelty cam hinder them from _ Ab. V inutt ftrike while the Iron’s hot.[ 4fideJ— Well Mr. ‘Tongue! Vel. How? Speak that again! | 2 fa a Ab. Why thenin plain Engizfa Love you. “She a Vel. I'm Overjoy’d! 4 . S Tee, Sones. - Ab. \ moft own my Paflion for you,- Mg Vel. Ym Tranfported! ° _ [Catches her in his Arms. © Ab. Dear Charming Man! ea BP Ee ae . Fel. ThouSumm Totalof all my Happinefs ! I fhall grow Ex- - travagant/ I can’t forbear !———to drink thy vertuous Inclinations — in a Bumper of Sack. Your Lady muft make hafte, my Duck, - or we fhall provide a young Steward to the Eftate, before fhe has — an Heir to.it——prithee my: Dears, doe’s fhe intend-to Marry. Mr. Zinfee Be A co 5 Saeae Ab. Marry him! my Love, No, no! we muft take careof that! there wou'd be no flaying in the Houfe for us if fhe did, That young Rake-hell wou'd fend all the old pike ooo Asie . : eid ee SL a ats > OD oa er! ke ee You ond I I how'd be ditcarded ie the Howey Mes owl an | En d. oo Vel: Prithees facet ane, does not this Drum put the Thoughts : : of Marriage out of her Head? © Ab. This Drum, my Dear, if it be well manag d, will be no lefs than a Thoufand Pound in our way. Vel. Ay, fayft thou fo, my Turtle ? Ab. Since we are now as good as Man and Wife— 1 mean, almoft as good as Man and Wife —-1 ought to conceal no; thing from you.’ Vel. Certainly: my Dove, not from thy Yoke-Fellow, thy Help-Mate, thy own Fleth and Blood! Ao. Huth! I hear Mr. Tinfel’s Laugh, my Lady and he are a coming this way; if you will take a turn without, Pil tell you the whole Contrivance. Vel. Give me your Hand, Chicken. Ab: Here take it, you have my Heart already. Vel. We thall. es much Iffue. [Exeunt: Biko BOE is Enter Vellum azd Butler. ae Vel. FOHN, LT have certain Orders to give you ae fore be attentive. ’ Te tt | ~ But. Attentive! Ay, let me alone for that.—I fuppofe he means being Sober, ig Oe ~ Pel. You know 1 have always recommended to you:a Method in your Bufinefs, I wowd have your Knives and Forks, your Spoons and Napkins, your Plate and Glaffes, laid in a Method. ~ But. Ah, Mafter Vellum, you are fuch a fweet-fpoken Mans it does one’s Heart good to receive your Orders. ; Vel. Method, fohn, makes Bufinefs eatie, it banithes all Per- plexity and Confufion out of Families. | Tor But. How he talks! 1 cou'd hear him all Day. Vel. And now John, let me know whether your Tablelin- nen, your Side-Board, your Cellar, and every thing elfe within your Province, are properly and methodically difposd for an En- tertainment this Evening. — But. Matter Vellum, they fhall be ready at a quarter of an Oa hour’s Warning. But pray Sir, is this Entertainment to be made: for the Conjurer? Vel. \t is, John, for the Conjurer; and yet it is not for the - Conjurer... | But. Why, look you Matter Vellum, if it vibe ‘ketene, the Cook-Maid fhou’d have Orders to get him fome Dithes to. his Palate. Perhaps he may likea little Brimftone in his Sauce.. Vel. This Conjurer, John, 1s aomplicated Creature, an Am- phibious Animal, aPerfon of a Two-fold Nature —— But he cats and drinks like other Men. “But. Marry, Mafter Vellum, he thou’d eat and drink as much as two other Men, by-the Account you give of him. - : Vil. Thy Conceit is not amifs, he is indeed a double Man, ha, ha, ha! / i i i te. ~~ But. Ha! Lunderftand yous He's one of your Hermaphrodites, as they call ’em. : Vél.-He is Married, and he is not Married —He hath a Beard; and he hath no Beard. He is Old, and he is Young. ~ But. # ~~. “But. ‘How Sbanaigly b be talks! I fey: Mafter Vella ie cou’d make a Riddle: “The fame Mar Old and ie ow. mo ~- you make that out, Mafter Veilum ? Vel. Thou haft heard of a Snake cafting his Skin; and : reco- vering his Youth. Such is this Sage Perfon. But. Nay ’tis no wonder a Conjurer fhou’d be like a Serpent. Vel. When he has thrown afide the old Conjurer’s Slough that hangs about him, he’ll come out as\fine a young: Gentleman - as ever was feen in this Houfe. But. Does he intend to fup in his Slough : 2 Vel. That Time will thow.- But. Well, I have not a Head for thefe dies: “indecd, Mr. | - Vellum, \ have not underftood o one Word you have. faid this half Hour. Vel. I did not. intend thou fhou’dft: But to our Bufinefs —| Let there be a Table {pread in the Great-Hall. Let your Pots and Glaffes be wafh’d, and ina Readinefs. Bid the Cook provide a plentiful Supper, and fee that all the Servants be in their beft ‘Liveries. ~ But. Ay! now. I underftand every Word you fay. But I - wou’d rather hear you talk a little in that t’°other Way- Vel. 1 thall explain to thee what I have faid by and by _ -Bid Sufan lay two- Pillows upon your Lady’s Bed. But. Two Pillows! Madam won’ fleep upon ’em both! She i is “not a double Woman too? _ Vel. She will fleep upon neither. But hark, Mrs. Abigal, I think I hear her chiding the Cook-Maid. - But. Then Fl away, or it will be my Turn next; She, t ana) fare, {peaks plain Engl, y ong may eafily underftand every ’ Wor ‘She fays. [Exit Butler, Vellum Solus. Vel. Servants are good for nothing, unlefs they have an opil| nion of the Perfon’s Underftanding who has the Direction of them.—— But fee Mrs. 4bigal! fhe has a bewitching Counte- nance, I wif I may not be tempted to marry her in good Earneft. ine Stas: at Ab. Hal Mr. Vellum. Vel What plea my Sweet i hither: ae Enter Abigal f oli to! nik oe Grieod buhisd the , f as * fe ‘Child, ne thou’ ‘have'an ‘Account of this —e ge} i _he may not be furpriz’d. “Pel. That wou'd'be iagamnttth caatthay showin Pound is teed. Ab Pil {peak low=Weallshave Ears. Pointing.attheWaimfoor. —— Vel, ‘But heatk you: ‘Ducklin! be fure you-do notitell himthat_ i) ain‘léet into‘the Secret. - ' Ab. That’s'a-good one indeed:! asif 1 thou'd -ever: tell weliat a paffes between you and me. Vel. No, no, my ‘Child, that mutt not’ wit fe hey 2 he! that muft not be; he, he, he! Ab. You will always be-waggith. nS Vel. Adieu, and let’ me ‘hear the-refult of aol Cobie _ «fb. How can you leave one fo foon? I dual think itan Age till P'fee You ‘again. - | Vel. Adien my prettyone. ‘Ab. “Adieu tweet Mr. Vellum. Vel. My pretty'one. [Ashe is going off. Ab. Dear Mr, Vellum' ; : Vel, My pretty one! - : [ Sx\Vellum. ‘Abigal' Sola, “Ab. Vhave him—if I can’ but get this 'Thoufand Pound. | [Fantome gives three Raps,upon his ‘Drum behindtheW ainfeot. 4b. Ha. Three Raps upon theDrum! the Signal-Mr. Rantome. | and Fagreed upon; ‘when‘he ‘had a mind to fpeak with me. ’ { Fantome rapsvagaim. ole. Pf Scene opensy and Fantome comes out. Mb. ‘You may leave. your: Drum in ‘the Ward sobe; ‘till you have Occafion for it. Fan. Well, Mrs. Abigal, 1. want to hear what is a “doing in the World. : Ab. Youare a very inquifitive Spirit... But 1 mutt tell: you, if ij you do not take care of your felf, you will be Laid this Evening. Fan. I have overheard fomething of ‘that Matter. . But-let me | Hi alone for = Doctor —Pil engage to give a good Account of Ab. Very well, V hear you; ‘come! Fox, come out of your — yaw she Fini Tam mote aribeio abit Tinh When adiats* ae Cafe, I’m more afraid of one Fop than twenty, Conjuters.... . Ab.*FEo tell you,truly, ; he pieffes. his Attacks with fo ah _ Ampudence; .that -he has made' more Progrefs with my Lady , in two:Days, than -you,did in.two Months. Fan. \ hall attack her in another manner, if thou canft.but | procure me another Interview. There's nothing makes a Lover} fo keen, as being kept up in the Dark. ‘ Ab, Pray no more of your diftant Bows, your refpeftful Com- -pliments: Realy,-Mr. Fantame, you're only fit to make, Love a-crofg a‘Tea-Table. “Fan. My dear Girl, I can’t forbear hugging thee for phy, goal - Advice. . Ab. Ay, now-I have fome: Hopes of you 5 but why. don’ t you do foto my Lady? ~ Fan, Child, Lalvayes thought. your, Lady, lov'd, to. be. treated : with Refped. _ fd. Believe me, Mr. Fantome, there. is not, fo great a diffe- _yerice. between. Woman and Woman, as you imagine. You fee Tinfel has nothing but. his Saucinefs to recommend him. han. Tinfel is too.great a Coxcomb to be capable of Love — And let me tell thee, 4digal, a Man, who is fincere in his Pak -fion, makes but a very awkard Profeflion of it — But. Pit mend _my:Manners. s Ab. Ay, or you'll never gain a Widow — Come, I Sinlh tutor — you a little; fuppofe me to be my Lady, . and let me fee how : - you'll. behave your felf. : . Ban. V'm afraid: Child 5 we. ante. time, for fuch a piece of | Mummery. Ab. Oh, it will be quickly. over, if you play your Part well. Ban: Why. then, dear. Mrs. Ab—— I’ mean . my. qaey Tru- man. Ab. Ay! but you han’t faluted me. — : __ Fan. That’s right; Faith I forgot.that Circumftance, (Kifes ber. INeétar. and ‘Ambrofi a! ~ da6:-~That’s very. well Fan. How long mutt I be condemn’d to eravith | when fhall my: Sufferings. have an.end!. My Life! my Happinels, my, All is wound up in yours ; ‘ | Mb. ose ee ‘ * [38 The Drummers at © Ab. Well! why don't you fqueeze my Hand? og eta en he Fam. What, thus? © > a ru s at Ss fs nerd pee fe Ab. Thus? Ay — Now throw your Arm about my Middle; — | Hug me clofer. —You are not afraid of hurting me ! Now pour — ae | forth a Volley of Rapture and Nonfenfe, till you are out of ) Breath. ae Fan. Tranfport and Extafy! where am I! — my Life; oo } Blifs! —I rage, I burn, 1 bleed, I dye. — Rae Ab. Goon, go on. aa 4 TR. _ Fan. Flames and Darts —— Bear me to the gloomy Shade, Rocks and Grottoes ——— Flowers, Zephyrs, and purling ) Streams. . 4 eae Ab. Oh! Mr, Fantome, you have a Tongue wou'd. undo a Veftal! You were born for the Ruin of our Sex. pi . | ~~ Fan. This will do then, Abigal ? Ab. Ay this is talking like a Lover. Tho’l only reprefent my Lady, I take a Pleafure in hearing you. Well; o my Gon- ‘{cience when a Man of Senfe has a little Dath of the Coxcomb in him, no Woman can refift him. Go on at this rate, and the I - thoufand Pound is as good as in my Pocket. é he . > Fan, 1 fhall think it an Age till 1 have an Opportunity of put- — . - ting this Leffon in Practice. Pe Ab. You may do it foon, if you make good Ufe of your Time, Mr. Tin/e/ will be here with my Lady at Eight, and at Nine the | Conjurer is to take you in Hand. - a2 : i Fan. Let me alone with both of them. . Ab. Well! fore-warn’d, forc-arm’d. Get. into your Box, and Tl ‘ ‘endeavour to difpofe every thing in your Favour... Te, Se eee | [Fantome goes im, Exit Abigal. — ks Enter Vellum. Gas eH Vel. Mrs. Abigal is withdrawD.— Iwas in hopes to have heard what pafs’d between her and her invifible Correfpondent. © he Enter Tinfel. | 6 Tin.. Vellum! Vellum! . t; he es. Vel, [afide.| Vellum! We are methinks very familiar ;.I am not us’d to be call’d fo by any but their Hlo—nours——— What wou'd you, Mr. Tinfel@ be eo Me Tin. Let me beg a Favour of thee, old Gentleman. Ve. tra 7 Vel, What is that, good Sir?” m Tin, Prithee run and fetch me the Rent- Roll of i: , Effate, «Mel, The Rent-roll? 7 Tin. The Rent-roll> Ay, the Rent-roll! ‘Dott not ce ftand what that means ? s Vel. Why? have you Thoughts of purchafing of it? 7 - Lin. Thou haft hic it, eld Boy; that is my very Intention.) Vel. The Purchafe will be confiderable. 4 Tim. And for that reafon I have bid thy Lady very high— She is to have no lefs for it than this entire Perfon of mine. | ~ Vel. Is your whole Eftate Perfonal, Mr. Finfel— he, he, hé! “Tin. Why, you queer old Dog, you don’ pretend to jeft, dye? Look ye, Vellum, if you think of being continued my Steward, you muft learn to walk with your To¢cs out. Vel. [ Afide.] An infolent Companion! =| ~ ‘Tin. Thou’rt confounded richy I fee, Dy that Dangling of thy Arms, . _ 1 Vel. [Af 2) An ungracious Bird! | 7 ‘Tin, Thou thale lend me a couple of Thosfand Founts il Vel. [ Afide.| A very Profligate! - - ' _ Tin. Look ye; Vellum, | intend to be’ kind to you— ril borrow fome Mony of.you. Vel. \ cannot but {mile to confi Hey the Difappointment this ' young Fellow will meet with; I will make my {elf merry with | a bay [ Afide.| And fo, .Mr. Tinfel, you promife you will be a is aa: kind Matter to me ? ; [Stifing a Laugh Lin; What will you give for a Life in the Houfe you Itveiné, Kel. What do you pas pf Five Hundred Pounds? ~ Ha he hal. - | | in. That’s too little, ' -AndI tv Vel. And yet it is more than I fhall give you. offer you-two Reafons for if. Tin. Prithee what are they? | Vel.Fist, becaufethe Tenement is not in your Difpofat anc Secondly, becaufe it never will be in your Difpofal ;. and {¢ -» fare you well, good Mr. tbl ‘Ha, ha, ha! You will pardor ie for being jocular, [Exit Vellum! Tin. This Rogue is as fancy as che Conjurer, Pilbe hang’¢ if sinh are not a- kin, q r: rad: Me Tinfel! aoe “an a ober Yott Eve thinkers are ‘great Admirers of Solitude. a ae, ‘i Tin. No faith, 1 have been talking with thi i niscaaiye a ae very grote(que Figure of 4 Fellbw} the very Picture of one of Eo f out Benchers, . How can you. bear his Convection at 1, Lady, I keep him for my, Steward, and not ny Conon” bide 1) He’s a fober Man. eb | _. Lin. Yes, yes, he looks like 4 Piles 3 a queer ald Dog, as ever I faw in iny Life: We muft turn hi off. Widow. - He cheats thee confou dedly, i fee thar. |. Lady. Indced you'r re miftaken, he has always had the Re , | putation, of béing a very honeft Man. ~ “ | Tins What? 1 fuppofe he goes. to Church. Lady. Goes to Cherch! fo do you too; “I hope. | Tin. 1 wou'd for once, Widow, to make fure of you. | Lady. &h, Mr. Tinfel, a Husband who Would for continue — | to go thithér, wou'd quickly forget the Promifes he made there, Lin. F; aith vely innocent and .very ridiculous | Well then, _ | I warrant thee, Widow, thou wou dit not for the World parry j }| a Sabbath- -breaker | : | Lady; Truly they generally come to'a bad Eid, ‘T remember || the Conjurer told you, you were thort-liv’d. ~— Tim, The Conjurer! Ha, ha, ha! : Lady. Andeed you're very witty! Tin, Indeed you're very handfome.: [Kiffes her Hand, Lad). I with the Fool does: not love me!’ [4fide. |. Tin. Thou art the Idol T’adore, “Hete mut Ipay’ my'Devo- - tion— Prithée, Widow, haft thou any Timberapon thy tate? Lady, The mott impudent Fellow I ever met with. [fide Tin. | take Notice thou hafta great deal ‘of old Plate here by lig in the Houle, V Widow. Pie Lady. Mr. Tinfel, you are a very’ obfétving Man: cons H Tin. Thy_large .Silver.. Ciftern would“make ‘a’ very ‘daa he ee ‘Coach, and FAT, a “Dozen Salvers' that I faw‘on the: Side-board,’ > ie mgt be turn’d info fix’as is pretty Saige as’ ‘any that appear in tate ~ the Ringa . gee 7 foe You haye a very good F ancy, Mr. Tapes What i "pretty Transformations you: could thakein a irueeer” But | Pil fee hips “twill end. - | ti 4 : + om 7 the Lhe Haunte 6a L10ufe, ee tn. Said aliteoed: Child, you have two or three Service * _ of gilt Plates; we'd eat always in.China, my Dear. Ey Lady. 1 perccive you are an excellent Manager —— How. af -- quickly you have taken an Inventory of my Goods! : cage Tin. Now hark ye, Widow, to fhow you the Love that: r | have for you- Lady. Very well, let me hear. ; Tin. You have at.old-fafhion’d Gold Caudle. ub, with. “a Figure of a Saint upon the Lid on't. Lady. Vhave, what then? Tim. Why look ye, Yd fell the Caudle-Cup with the old . _ $2 aint for as much Money as they'd fetch, which I wou’d con- ~ vert into a Diamond Buckle, and make you a Prefent of it. cat "Lady. Oh you are: generous to an Extravagance. But pray, . Mr. Tinfel, don’t difpote of my Goods before you are fure of my Perfon. I find you have taken’a great Affe@ionto my Moveables. ° li Tin. My Dear, E love every thing that belongs to you. d Lady. \ fee you: ‘do, Sir, you need not make any Proteftati-. ons upon that Subject. Tin, Pho, pho, my Dear, we are growing Serious; and, let me tell you, that’s the very next Step to being Dull. Come, | that pretty Face was never made to look grave with. Lady, Beclicve me, Sir, whatever you may think, Marriage is a ferious Subject. - Tin. For that very Reafon, my Dear, let us get over it as falt as we can. : Lady. thould be very much in hatte fora Husband, OP marricd within fourteen Months after Sir George’s Deceafe. * Tin. Pray, my Dear, let me ask you.a Quefiion; Do’ft not thou think that Sir George is as dead at prefent, to all Intents and Purpofes, as he will be a Twelve-month hence? - Lady. Yes, but Decency! Mr. Tzmfel Tm. Or do’ft thou think thou'le be more a Widow then, than thou artnow? | ~ Lady, The World would fay I never lov’d my Firft Husband. Zin. Ah, my Dear, they wou’d fay you Jov’d your Second; and they wou'd own f£ deferv’d it, for I thall love thee oe in- _ ordinately. es But what none ree think? G. : : : i if Q dowhood, — That a Woman fhou’d live fourteen whole M ‘Tin. Thiok! why jee ~ioitd ‘ink sede the Miro after the Deceafe of herSpoufe, without having engaged her Why, about Town, we know many a Woman. of Quality’sSe- — se cond Husband feveral Years before the Death of the Fir: Lady. Ay, I know you Wits have your common- “Place Jefts i “c _ upon us poor Widows. Tin. Vil tell you.a Story, Widow; I know a certain Lady, who. confidering the Crazinefs of her Husband, had, in cafe of Mortality, engaged her felf to two young Fellows of my _. Acquaintance. © They grew fuch defperate Rivals for her, while her Husband was alive, that one of them pink’d the t’other in a Ducl. But the good Lady was no fooncr a Widow, but what did my Dowager do? Why faith, being a:Woman of — Honour, fhe married a Third, to. whom, it noe, fhe had Bh: ~ yen her firft Promife, Lady. And this isa true Story upon your own 1 Knowledge 3 2 Tin. Every Tittle, as I hope to be mary ts or never believe Tom Tinfel. Lady, Pray, Mr. Tinfely do you all this talking. like oe ae or like a Rake? ‘ Tin. Innocent enough, he, he, he! Why! where's the Dif ference, my Dear? Lady. Yes, Mr. Tinfel, the only Man f ever lovd j in my Life, had a great deal. of the one, and nothing of the other in. him, Zin. Nay now you grow vapourifh; thou’lt begin to fancy. thou hear’f{t the Drum by and by. Lady; If you had been here laft Night about this rime, you. ews - would not have b:en fo merry. Tin. About this time, fay'ft thou? Come fate fou ns Hus. mour’s fake, we'll Gt down and liften. if Lady. 1 will, if you'll promife to be ferious.. Tin. Serious! never fear me, Child: Ha, ha, ha! Do’ft not hear him? Lady.. You break your World already. Pray, Mr. Tinfel, do. you laugh to fhow your Wit or your Tecth? Zin. Why, -both! my Dear.— I’m glad, however, that the. i has taken notice of my Tecth. [ 4/de.| But youlook feria Child, I fancy thou hear’ft the. Drum, do’ft not?.- . Lai, OE , had Lucifer’s Dram-Major in your Houfe. oe -you do not leave this idle way of Talking. Spirits, as we were drinking a difh of Tea but juft now. Ea Gok aly? | Tix. Why, my Dear, you cou’d-not feok more igh if you, | Lady, Mr. Tinfel, I muft defire to fee you no more in ity if ] Tin, Child, [thought I had told you what is my Opinion of a4 There is no fuch thing I give thee my Word, 4 _ Lady, Oh, Mr. Tinfel, your Authority mutt | be of great 4 weight to thofe that know you. — : fin. For my part, Child, I have made my felf eafy in thofe . Points.» Lady. Sure nothing was ever like thisFellow’ s Vanity, but his Ignorance. | Ajide. Night, to frighten you a wholeCountry Village out of their Sen- 4 Tin. Vl tell thee what now, Widow —] wou’d engage by | the help of a white’Sheet and a penny-worth of Link ina dark _ ** ces, and the Vitar into the bargain. [Drum beats.| Hark ! hark! gainft my Confcience, only to fhow my Parts! it by your foolith Difcourfe. what Noife is that! Heaven defend us! this is more than regan. “Lady. It beats more terrible than ever. ~ Zin. ‘Tis very dreadful! What a Dog have I been to peak a- Lady. \t comes nearer and nearer. I with you have not = [sy Zim. Indeed, Madam, I did not fpeak from my Heart; I hope i it : will do me no hurt, for a little harmlefs Raillery. Town. [Fantome advances to him Drumming. - bis knees\ have Compaflion on my Youth, and confider I am_ Lady. Harmlefs, d’ye call it? it beatsHard by us, as if it wou ud Ha break through the Wall. x" | _ Lim. What a Devil had I to dowith a white Sheet > ve) [Scene epens, and difcovers Fantome: Tin. Merey onus! it appears. = Lady, Oh! ‘tis he! ‘tis he himfelf, ‘tis Sir George! tis my Husband. [She faints. | Tin. Now wou'd | give Ten Thoufand Pound that I were in Tin. 1 beg Ten Thoufand Pardons. [ll never talk at this rate any more. - [Fantome fill advances Drumming. | Tin. By my Soul, Sir George, 1 was not in earneft [ falls on | but a Coxcomb— Seca pas to ae “mia But fee he - 4 waves a ? / 5 art— dee -Y ie tO, do with a onie Sheet ? THe fads fe the wea Pace as hind him. I’m miftaken'if he makes Lovei in this Honfe any more T have now only the Conjurer to deal with. I don’t queftion I fhall make his Reverence feamper as faft as the Lover, i And then the Day’s my own. But the Servants are coming. Imuft- get into my Cup-board. : [He goes in. sf ee —ay with all my Fan. The Scoundrel is gone, “and his left his Mi Enter Abigal aud Servants. — Ab, Oh my poor Lady! This wicked Drum has frighted Mr. Tinfel out of his Wits, and-my Lady into a Swoor. Let me ee bend her a little forward. She revives. Here, carry her into the frefh Air and the’ll’ recover. [ They carry her off. This: is a little barbarous to my Lady, but“tis all for her Good? and I — know her fo well, that the wou’d not be angry with me, if fhe ~ knew what I was to get by it. And if any of her Friends sid bee blame me for it hereafter, =~ Py clap my Hand upon wy Pirfey and tell My 2.£8 > ‘Twas i5 far 4 ine Pound and Mr. Vellum. - ath ae # * + ~~ s a, im f ps sch =e x set) ees > “a ye ‘ 43 ed “y ‘% Poe, a 2 z= . pe heR: ve “SCENE ix Eater ‘Sar Goae in his Conjurer’s Habit, the Butler mate ing before him with two large Candles, and the two Servants | coming after hit, one EIA @ little Table, ana. another a Chair. i “a | Butler. Ne pleafe your Worfhip, Mr. Conjurer, the Steward) has given all of us Orders to do whatfoever you fall bid us, and to pay ae the fame Refpect, as if you, _ our Mafter. : Sir G@. Thou fap ft ell: fl Gard. Av’t pleafe your- Conticserihi ip’s Woxthips | bral I ee * the Table down here? Sir G. Here, Peter. Gard. Peter !— He knows my le by his Learning. (Mi ae, Coach. \ have brought you, Reverend Sir, the’ largeft. El. bow Chair in the Houfe; *tis that the Steward fits in when he holds a Court. . : i -\» Sa-G: Place it there, AAPA ae But. Sir, will you pleafe to want any ‘hie elfe> . ' der G, Paper, and a Pen and lok. ta But. Sir, +1 believe we have Paper that is fir for your Pur- pofe! My Lady’s mourning Paper; that is black’d at the Rpm -Wou'd you chufe to write with a Crow Quill? » | ., Sir G. There*is none better. . But. Coachman, go fetch the Paper and Standith out of the little Parlour... - Coach. | To Gard. | Pecer, prithee do thou go along wit me ?m.afraid You know I went with .you laft Nighi erg Garden, when the | Cook-Maid Wanted a handful Fol arfle | : Bah. Why, you don’t think ss fay sith the Contune by - my felf! © Gard. Come, we?il all three g0 and fetch the Pen’ and In together. [Exeunt Sie Sen ay Cl ed Be as. : a acy jen the Ghoft. There muft be oon of A ns ~ Alliance. have found cach of ‘em an Employment in fetching a Pe and Ink! | £xter Gardiner with a Sheet of Paper, Coachman with a | Standifp, and Butler with a Pen. Gard. Sir, there is your Paper. , Cosch, Sir, there ts your Standith. a Gut. Sir, there is your Crow-quill Pen—— I'm glad 1 have — _ got rid on’s. (Ajide, . Gard. (Afi ide.) He forgets that he’s to make a Circle—— - Do@or, fhail [ help you to a Bit of Chalk? . Sir G. It is no matter. . But. Look ye, Sir, I thow’d you the Spot where he’s esd , _ ofteneit, if your Worthip can but ferret him ont of pa old Wall in the next Room Sir. G@, We thall ery. , cone in the Family at this rate. But here comes the Triple. . - Who cou’d have thoughe thefe three Rogues con’d a i ‘Gard. That’s right, Fobn. His Worthip mak let ay all-his SA Learning at that old Wall. But. Sir, if I was worthy to advife you, I wou'd have a Bottle of good Oé¢ober by me. Shall I fet a Cup of old Stingo at at _ your Elbow? Sir G. I thank thee— we fhall do without it. = Gard. Fobn, he feems a very good-natur’d Man for a Con- _ jurer. . But. Til take this Opportunity of enquiring after a Bit of _ Plate I have loft. I fancy, whilft he is in my Lady’s Pay, one may hedge in a Queftion or two into the Bargain. Sir,_ is _ may I beg a word in your Ear? dearG. What wouldft thou? Bat. Sir, I know-I need not tell you, that I lof one of my ’ Silver Spoons laft Week. . . Sir G. Mark’d with a Swan’s Neck But. My Lady's Creft! He knows every thing. [Af ide.) - How wou’d your Worfhip advife«me to recover it again? Sir G. Hum! F: ut. > Bet. What roth I as to come at e anger d F Sir G. Drink nothing but Small- Beer for a Fortnight — But. Small Beer !-Rot-gut! | Sir G. If thow drink’ft a fingle Drop of Ale before iftee Days are expir’d it is as much—— as thy Spoon 5 - worth, | But. 1 fhall never recover it that way + Pll een buy a anew. one. {Ajide. ~ Coach, D’ye mind how they whifper? att I'll be shang'd if he be not asking him fomething shout Bone. I'l take this Opportunity of putting a Queftion to him about poor Dobbing: | fancy he cou’d give me better Council than the Farrier. But. [ta Gard, | A prodigious Man! he knows every. thing : Now is the time to find out thy Pick-ax. Gard. I have nothing to give him: Does not he a aa cat haye his Hand crofs'd with Silver ? i ’ Coach [to Sir G.] Sir, may aManventuretoask youa Queftion: | Sir G. Ask it. | Coach. Yhave a poor Horfe in the Stable that’s bewitch’d — Sir G. A bay Gelding. : Coach. How cou’d he know that?——_ : [Afide.. Sir G. Bought at Banbury. § Coach, Whew fo. it was o? my Confeience. [Whifttes. Sir G. Six Year old laft- Lammas. Coach. Toa Day. [ Afide.] Now, Sir, I wou’d know. whet oe. the poor Beaft is bewitch’d by Goody Crouch or. Gone Lye? Szr G. Resdice: _ Coach, Then it muft be Goody Gurton! ee fhe. is thie next oldeft Woman in the Parifh. Gard, Haft thou done, Robzn ? Coach. [to Gard.|. He can tell thee any thing. “Gard. [to Sir G.) Sir, 1 wou'd beg to take you.a little fur-— ther out of hearing—— Sir G. Speaky.. Gard, The Butler and I,. Mr. Doster. were both ofa us in: Love at the fame time with’a certain Perfon, jr G. A Woman.. | Sante ] = Gard, How céud ie ise that | ‘ost het: a oN ae ' Sir G. Go on: a * Gard. This Woman has lately & had two Children at Birth, mea pe Sur G. Twins. ae ' Gard. Prodigious! where could he hear that? (Ade. ae ak Sir G, Proceed. 3 et ee '~ Gard. Now; becaufe I us’d to meet her fometimes in the” 2th ' Garden, fhe has laid them both eer 4 ec hair G. To Thee. ” Mpa »- . Gard. What a Power of Teac he moft have! I he knows every thing. : ‘[Afae. ‘Ser G,.Ha’ft thou done? Gard. I-wou’d defire to know whether I am really: Father to _ them both? : _. Sir G. Stand before me, let me furvey thes round. ©’ oe [ Lays his Wand upon his Head, and makes him turn about. Dhara ee | £ Coach. Look yonders Fobn, the filly’ Dog is turning about = + under the Conjurcr’s Wand. If he has been faucy to vie Wig Re ke - fhall fee him puff’d of in a Whirlwind immediately. — x . Sir G. Twins, do'ft thou fay? (Stee turning bie: - Gard. Ay, are they both mine d’ye ‘hiak? * Sir G. Own but. one of them. — iF Gard. Ah, but Mrs. Abigal will Base me take care of shih BRT } both fhe’s always for the Butler If my poor Mafter” Sir George had been alive, he wou ‘d have made him go Halves Hee, with me. | . ie Sir G. What, was Sir George aikind Mafter? : <— Was he! Ay, my Fellow- rejebhon will bear me Wit. i ne ; BO, ABN os SO | ree Did ye love Sir George ? ake be es ene But. Every Body lov'd him —~— , | Coach. There was not a dry Eye in the Parity, at the News ois of his Death—— Rage Gard. He was the beft Neighbour 3 om ? Noe Pha, But. The kindeft Husband F Coach. The trueft Friend to the Poor ——— _ But. My good Lady took on carpe we all thoogh it wou’d have been the Death of her—— “ tng ae) V7 Mages ; Sr yea ee re SE Pee Re WEE ae _. © Sir G. 1 proteft thefe Fellows melt me! I think the time Jong till I am their. Mafter again, that 1 may be kind to . em, age, we — [Mfide- ‘ Hees Enter Vellum. a. - Vel. Have you provided the Door ev’ry thing he has Occafion for? if fo. ——you may depart. 3 vee | 7 | - [Exeunt Servants. Sar G. 1 can as yet fee no hurt in my Wife’s. Benaviour 5 but ftill have fome certain Pangs and Doubts, that are natu-— ra] to the Heart of a fond Man. I muit take the Advan-" tage of my Difguife’ to be thoroughly fatisfied. It wowd neither be for her Happinefs, nor mine, to make my felf known to her till lam fo [Afde.|- Dear Vellum! I am im-. patient to hear fome News of my Wife, how does the af- ter her Fright? | ; - Sekt Vel. \wis a Saying fomewhere in my Lord Coke, that a‘, ‘Sir-G. Lask of my Wife, and thou talk’ft to me of my Lord Coke———>prithee tell me how the does, for I am in Pain for her. : . . Vel. She is pretty well recover’d. Mrs. Abigal has put | her in good Heart; and I have given her great hopes from your Skill. | | ] _ SwG, That T think cannot fail, fince thou haft got this Secret out of Abigal! But I could not have thought my _ Friend Fantome would have ferved me thus ¥ i Vel. You will ftill fancy you are a living Man Pena | Sir G. That he fhou’d endeavour to Enfnare my Wife- ee J Fel. You have no. Right inher, after your Demife Death extinguifhes all Property, — Quoad hanc—It is a Maxim in ine . tks i tr G. APoxon your Learning! Well, but whatis become. Fel, He rufh’d out of the Houfe, call’d for his Horfe, _ clap’d Spurs to his fides, and was out of fight in lefs time, than I—can—tell—ten. She ¢ poate an ; Hea See | fsir G This ts: Whimfical pence By: Wite v # quick. Succeffion of Lovers, in one Sa driven out Tin/ée/, and | thall drive out Fantome. z Vel. Ew'n as one Wedge driveth out another e; he! you muft pardon me for being Jocular. | 3 . Sir G. Was there ever fuch a provoking Blockhead! bie he means me well.-—— Well! 1 mutt have Satisfa@ion of: 5 \this. Traitour Fantome ; and cannot take a more proper: one, than by turning, him. out of my Houfe, ina manner -— that fhall throw. Shame upon him, and make him ridiculous: as long as he lives. — You muft remember, Ve//am, youhave- abundance of Bufinefs upon your Hands, and I have but jufti time to tell it you over, all dchia or of you is Difpatch, there- - fore hear me. Rise Pel. There is nothing: more erin in Bufinefs than. ig Difpatch : eee Sir. G. Then hear me. — 2 Ee rae Vel. \¢is indeed the Life of Bufinefs—— - | ; Sir G. Hear. Me then, I fay. , Aihei ¥el. And-as one has rightly obferved, the Benefit that ae ey v tends it is four-fold. Firft- . |, SG. There is no bearing. this ! Thow art-a going to: \defcribe Difpatch, when thou fhouldft be praGtifing it. } Vel. But your Flo—nour will not: give me the hears jling- sara | Sir G. Thou wilt not give me the hearing. [Angrily. psoas ) Fel. \ am till. a | Sir G. Tm the Firft place, you aréto lay my: Wigg, Hat,. Vand Sword: ready: for me in the Clofet, and one of my. (Scarlet Coats. You know. how. Abigal. ‘has defcribed the - }Gholttoyou. Vel. \t fhall be dome. ~ pee Sir G. Then. you muft remember, .whilft 1 am Lavine this eee i@hok, you are to preparemy Wife for the Reception of | Hf /her real Husband; tell her the whole Story, and-do it with. all the Art you are Matter of, “hat the Surprife may not be - too. chi for hex. - ; Vel It thal be rr Bir: ince her Ho—nour has fen mil Apparition, fhe defires to fee You once more, before iy, arg --Counter it. . a Sir G. I fhall expe her impatiently. For now if can tale to } her without being interrupted by that impertinent Rogue Tia- | _ fel. Uhope thou haft not told 4oga/any thing of the Secret. Vel, Mrs. Abigal isa Woman; there are many Reafons why fhe fhou’d not be acquainted with it: I thall only mention Six Sir G. Huths here fhe comes! Oh my Heart! Enter Lady and Abigal.. _ Sir G [Afide, while Vellum talks in dumb Show to Lady. 7 ' O that lov’d Woman! How I Jong to take her in my Arms! If A find I am ftill Dear to her Memory, ‘it will be a return toLife | indeed! But I muft take care of indulging this Tendernefs, and | ; -put ona Behaviour more fuitable to my prefent Character. i [Walks at a diftance in a penfive Poflure, a | his Wand. Law [toVellum. | This is furprizing indeed! So all the Sexe vants tell me; They fay he knows every thing that has happen’ dq in the F amily. Ab. (Afi ide} A pare of Gromalioe Fools! They firft tell hint their Secrets, and then wonder how he comes to know them. 2. ations ere settee Abi ‘Lady. Learned Sir, may 1 have fome Converfation with you, before you begin your Ceremonies? i Sir @. Speak! But hold— firft let me feel your Pulfe> Lady. What can you learn from that? ; Sir G. have already learn'd a Secret from it, that will afto- nifh you. . Lady, Prays whatis it? i Sir G. You will have a Husband within. this half Hour. Ab. { Afide.} I'm glad to hear that ——~ He muft mean Mr.Fan-| “tome; I begin to. think there's a good deal of Truth in his Art. 4 Lady, Alas! 1 fear you. mean I thal fee Sir George's Appa | ‘ition a fecond time. e 2 eae. Sin [ Bert Vellum, exchanging fond Looks with th gal. qh | F ‘SiG. Have Py Seis igs you -fhall fee the i dae, no The Husband I mention thall be as: much alive as. i am. Lady. Impofliible! I lov’d my firft too well. the fecond. Pe Lae hang’d if my dear Steward has not a ee ftruded him; he means Mr. Fantome to be fure s the Thoufand Pound is our own! . Lady. Alas! you did not know Sir George. Bg -~ Sir G. As well as I do my felf - | the red Damask Room, when he firft made Love to you; your | Mother left you together, under Pretence of receiving a vig i from Mrs. Hawthorn, on her Return from London, - Lady. This is aftonifhing ! __ Sir G. You were a great Admirer of a fingle Life forthe firft : half Hour;. your. Refufals then grew ftill fainter and fainter, . | With what Extafy did Sir George .kifs your Hand, when you told him you fhou’d always follow the Aas of one: Mamma ! Lady. tvery Circumftance toa Tittle! Sir G. Then, Lady! the Wedding Night! I faw you. in-your drew you gently by the Hand You ftruggled — but he was | too ftrong for you——You bluth’d, He | Lady. Oh! ftop there! go no farther! —— He bons every i. thing. [ Afide. Ab. Truly, Mr. Conjurer L believe you have-been a Wage in _ your Youth. - George, a Purfe of Broad Pieces, Mrs. 4biga/ | ab, The Devil’s in him. [Af fde.| Pray, Sir, fince you have told fo far, you fhould teil my Lady that I refusd to. take h them. - Bofome. _ Mb. This Rog will mention the rhe: Pounds, if I don’t Ab. Mr. Fantometo befure. (Aide. “sm : SirG@. You cou’d not love the firft better than you" will, Jove — ery 1 faw him with you in : ~ white Sattin Night-gown 5. “you woud not come out ‘of your — Drefling-Room, till Sir Georg? took you out by Force. He — Sir G. Mrs. Abigal, you know what your good Word coitegenne cn. Sir G. ‘Tis true, Child, he was forc’d to thruft them inte your take ou _ been agreeable. < ee Vm afraid to hear an: ~ Anfwer to my own Queftion. ee 88, [Afide: . €ou’d be expeéted from a Man of the vileft Principles! take care [ Afide.| Pray, Sir, tho’ you are a Conjurer, met you need not: be a Blat at “iy eg oie. Lady. Sir, fince I have now no Reafon to doubt of your Art, -Emuft befeech you to treat this Apparition gently - It has» the refemblance of my deceas’d Husband, if there be any un- difcover'd Secret, any thing that troubles his Reft, learn it of - him. Sir G. I muft to that End- be fincerely informed by you,~ 4 whether your Heart be engaged to another; Have not you re-~° ceiv'd the Addrefles of many Lovers fince his Death 2 » Lady. Vhave been oblig’d to receive more Vifits, than have Sir G. Was not Tinfel welcome? Lady. He was wellrecommended. __ Sir G, Racks! A ePitse hty . [Afide: Lidy. Of a good Family. | dir G. Yortures! [ Afide. . Lady. Heir to.a confiderable Eftate! * . . _ Sir G. Death! [4fide]- And you -ftill love him? ——Pm — Diftracted ! | [Afide. - . Lady. No, Udebpife him. 1 found ‘he had a defien upon my hinks- Fortune, .was Bafe, Profligate, Cowardly, and ev’ry thing that | Sir G. Vm Recover’d.- BES 6, Ob, Madam, had you feen how like a Scoundrel he look’d , when he left your Ladyfhip in a Swoon. Where have you left my Lady? fays]. Jo an Elbow-Chair, Child, fays hes. And where are you going? fays1-To Town, Child, fays he: For to : tell thee truly, Child, fays he, I-don’c care for living under the a fame Roof with the Devil, fayshe. . : _ Sir George's Spirit from being at. Reft.. Sir G. Well, Lady, 1 fee nothing in all this, that may hinder « La. lf heknows any thing of what paflzsin my Heart, he cannot - but be fatisfy’d of that Fondnefs which I bear to his Memory. My Sorrow for hii is always frefh when I think of him. He - Tears will not let me go » _ was the kindeft, trueft, tendereft or. we Sir G. This quite o’erpowers me<-—I thall difcover my felf * : ee before = Dox ? Thoufand Pound Bribe will never gain my Lady Truman. Bafai: my time. [Ale cs Mating you may now. retire léave to mé my felt. Lady. Succefs atterid you! - ; | aes | - Abig. I with Mr. Famtome gets well off fags ‘hia old Liege he'll be with him immediately, / | oe [Excunt Lady and Abigal 3 Sir George Solus. Sir G. My Meat) is now at Kafe, fhe is the fame dear Woman I left. her Now for ai? Revenge upon Fantome. at pate the Cercmonies fhart——— A few Words will do his Bufinefi—= Now let me feat my felf in form.——A good eafy Chair for a Conjurer this! 4 a good lucky Bavivh: that- faith 1 think it looks very Aftro- ~ logical — Uhefe two or three magical Po:-hooks about ity make | | it a compleat Conjurer’s Scheme. [Drum beats] Hay hay hay a _. Sirs are-you there? Enter Drummer. Now mouft t pore, Sse pe my Paper. “Nay Enter Fantome; beating: his Siriaeed " * oe ay a, _ Sir G. Prithee don’t inake a Noife, I’m bufy. Feu beats: mh Siz G. A pretty March! prithee beat that over agar: 3 )-Mexier aay | [He beats and advances, Sir G. [Rifng] Ha! you're very hen in the Step of a Ghoft. You ftalk it Majeftically. [Eantome advances. - Six G. How the Rogue fares. he ads it to Admirati- on; Vi be hane’d if he has not been prattifing this half hour |: in. Mrs. dAhigal S Wardrobe. - . [Fantome flarts, gives a - Ss rap upon his Dram — Sir G. Prithee don't play the Fool! - -[Fantome beats. Bem Sir G. Nays nay, enough of this good Mr. Fantome, Fan. (Afide.} Death!. Pm difeover'd. This Jade Abigal bas betray’d me. Sir G. Mz. Fantome, upon the Word of an Attrologer, your . Fan, "Tis plain, She has told him all. > Sir-Ge Let me advife you. to make off as. faft as you cany orl x . plainly perceive by my Art, Mr, Ghoft will have his Bones ~ broke, Fan. (to Sir G.] Look’ye, Old Gentleman, I perceive ba have — learnt this Secret from Mis. Abigad, Now for a few Wither ties! Scratchetewen, >’ Sa seat ‘Sir G. I a Seanad it Pies: aie ty Fi es Fun. Thy Art! prithee no more of that. Look ye, I know. "you are a Cheat as much as] am. And if thou’lt keep my Coun- fel, Fl give thee ten Broad Piéces, Sir G. 1am_not Mercenary! Young Man, I feorn thy Gold. Fan, Vil make them up Twenty. Sir. G. Avaunt! and that quickly or I'll raife fuch an Ap- parition, as thall .) Fan. An Acnianiag, Old Gentleman! you miftake your Man, - | 1 am not to be frighten’d with Bugbears. _ Sir G. Let me retire but for a few Moments, and I will pive thee fuch a Proof of my Art Fas. Why, if thou haft any “Hocuc-pocus Tricks to play, why canft not do them here? Ser G. The raifing of aSpirit, requires certain Secret My sfleries to be performed, and Words to be mutter’d in private. Fan. Well, if 1 fee through your Trick, will you promife to: ~ be my Friend. Sir G. I will — attend and tremble, — : [Exit, . Fantome Solus. Se Fan. A very folemn old Afs! But f fmoak filer - he has —! a mind to raifé his Price upon me. Icou’d not think this Slut wou'd have us’d me thus. [ begin to grow horribly tir'd of > may Dram, 1 wifh I was well rid of it: However I have got this by it, that ithas driven off Tinfe/ for good and all; I -than’t have _ the Mortification to fee my Miftrefs carry’d off by fuch a Ri-- val, Well, whatever happens, 1 muft ftop this Old Fellow’s Mouth, FE mutt not be {paring in Hath- “Money. But here hee! comes. SS ee Enter Sir George in hisown Ht. ‘bit: oon ae. Hat what’s that!’ Sir George Truman! Thiscan be no | Gousiterfeir: His Drefs! his Shape! hist Face! the very Wound of which he dy’d! Nay, then ‘tis time to decamp! [Runs of. | ‘SirG@. Ha, ha, ha! .Fare you-well, good Sir Grorge— The < | oe Enemy has left me Mafter of the Field: Here are the "Marks of: my Vutory. This Dram will I hang up in ay. great Hall as - the. Trophy of the Day. . Eater é nter A ee “Sir Gea ‘finds aah bis Han nd _ mufing Pofture. Ab. Yonder he is. ©’ my Confcieace he. Teg | the Conjurer. Mr. Fantome, Mr. Fantome ! 1 give | ‘I give you Joy. What do you think of your Thou now? “Why does not the Man fpeak?. ee eae [Pais him i the Sleeve. Sir G. Ha! [Taking his ss from bis Ba ey Ab. Oh! ’tis my } Matter “op [Shr ‘[Ruming away he catche i bere Sir G. Good Mrs. Abigal not fo-fatt, "45 ee Ab, Are you alive, Sir? He has given my ‘Simuldce loch a om # curled Tweak! they ‘mult be real Fingers. I feel em Pm feRES 2 Sir G. What do’& think? =a oeee Ab. Think, Sir? Think? Troth I don’ t. know what to thi Pray, Sir, how———— Pilg ck ape pes ieee SirG. No Queftions, good Abigal. Thy cia all ee _fatisfied in.due time. Where’s your Lady? ek % _ Ab. Oh; I'm fo frighted— and fo glad!—— Lee - Sir G. Where's your Lady, I- ask you- ei Ab, Matty I don’t know where I am. my tle 1 forbear weeping for Joy Faso Sac ‘Sir G. Your Lady! I fay. your Lady! L mutt bring you, fo Ras your felf with one Pinch more tie ao Oh! the has been iakihs a good” while wu the Stew: hes ar as ee Sir G. T hen i he has open the whole Story to hes, Im D oe he has iio, oe Oh! here fhe comes, pee: ter Lady follow'd by Vellum. eae es _ Lady. Where is he? let me fly into his Arms! mya Lee Pt ag _ ~Soul!-my Husband! | gegen ‘pee Sir G, Oh! Icc me cae thee to my Heart, deareft ¥ bs ine | men! lg TS oe Lady. Are you thes ftill alive, and are-you here! 1 ‘can a4 fcarce believe my Senfes! Now am [happy indeed! (EA ‘Sir G. My Heart is too full to anfwer thee. ‘My. et. Lady. How could you be fo cruel to defer giving me-that jogs eee awhich you knew pee" receive from your. ee You have ~ aor - Woe = ted Hon a ie eure The Haunted Houle. == $7 | : citi my Life of foe Hout of Happinefs that ought tohaye been in it. ; coe Sir G. It was to make our prac the more fmridebe and <7 unmixt, There will be now no Doubts to dafh it. “What has ~ ‘been the Affli@tion of our Lives, has given a Variety tothem, — and will hereafter fupply us with a thoufand Materials to. talk : = ‘of. af. Lady. T am now fatisfy’d that it is not in the Power of Ab. nd , _ fence to leffen your Love towards me. Sir G. And I am fatisfy’d that it is “not in the Power of © Death to deftroy that Love which makes me the happieft of me Men. ~. Lady. Was ever Woman fo bleft! to find again the Darling ~ “of her Soul, when the thought him loft for ever! to enter into - a kind of fecond Marriage with the only Man whom fhe was _ ever capable of loving! Sir G. May it be as happy as our firft, I defire no more! Be- ~ icve mey my Dear, 1 want Words to exprefs thofe Tranfports of Joy and Tendernefs which are every Moment rifing in my Heart whilft I fpeak to thee. - | Enter Servants. But, Juft as the Steward told us, Lads! Look you there, if % he ben’t with my Lady already > Gard. He! he! he! what a eye Night will this be for Ma~ — dam! en Coach. As I was coming in at fe Gate, a-ftrange G@inblenan i sahisk'd by me; but he took to his Heels, and» made away to hs hoe it had been his Honour ! _. Gard. Ha’ft given, Orders for the Bells to be fet a ringing? Coach, Never trouble thy Head about that, ‘tis done, the George. If I did not fee Mafter before mé, I fhowd. have Sir G. [to Lady.] My Dear, I long as much to tell youmy - | a ha Story, as you do to hear it. In the mean while, 1 am to ~ look upon this.as my Wedding Day. I'll have nothing but the Voice of Mirth and Feaftingin my Houfe. My poor Neigh- — -bours and my Servants fhall rejoyce with me, -My Hall hhall be free to every one, and let my Cellars be thrown open. Wei , Bat. Ab! blefs your Honour, may you never die again ! Sees Coach. ‘The fame good Man that ever he was! Poe 4 I $5 Cake ss ~The Drummer, Bec. Gard. Whutra! | Sir G. Vellum, thou haft done me. ie Serfice: to. Day, . g know thow lov’ft Afigal, but the’s difappointed ina Fortune, — Til make it upte bothof you, Pll give thee a Thoufand Pound — with her. Ie is not fit there fhou’d be Ons fad Heart in my ae 4, . Houfe to. Night. se si Lady. What you do for 4digal, I know is meant as a ‘ae. ii bee pliment tome. Thisis a new Inftance of your Love. eR Ab: Mr. Vellum, you area well-fpoken Man : Pray do you = ,.’ thank my Mafter and my Lady. % \ Sir G.. Vellum, V hope you are not difpleas'd with the Gite I make you. Vel. The Gift isTwofald. I receive from you A virtuous Partner, and a Portion too; For which, in humble wife, 1 thank the Donors + : eae And fa we bid Good-night to both your Ho-mours, Soa Fe asa md A S « Ps