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 (Qotttell Hnioctattg Stbratg 
 
 CHARLES WILLIAM WASON 
 
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 Three men on a Chinese houseboat :the st 
 
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<^^M7(^ 
 
 '<:3«#Htf 
 
 %, 
 
 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE 
 HOUSEBOAT 
 
IT IS A SIGHT TO SEE THEM OM A WASHING EXPLOIT. 
 
THREE MEN 
 
 ON A 
 
 CHINESE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 THE STORY OF A RIVER VOYAGE 
 
 Vt TUB 
 
 REV. W. MUNN 
 
 C.tI.S. XiMiimary an Wcsiim Chintt 
 
 WITH PREFACE BY THE 
 
 RIGHT REV, W. WHARTON CASSELS 
 
 BUktf in Wtsttm China 
 
 AND EIGHT ILLUSTRATIONS BY 
 J. FINNEMORB 
 
 New York Chicago Toronto 
 
 Fleming H. Revell Company 
 
 London and Edinburgh 
 

 \ii^%tL 
 
^0 
 
 MY DEAR MOTHER 
 
 AND 
 
 ALL WHO LOVE THEIR BOYS AND GIRLS 
 
 AS SHE LOVED HERS, 
 
 I DEDICATE THIS BOOK. 
 
 THE AUTHOR. 
 
PREFACE 
 
 AS one who has travelled up and down the 
 Yang-tse over twenty times, more often, 
 I think, than any other missionary, and has 
 taken part in, and watched over, the work 
 alluded to from the very first, I have been 
 asked by the Author, who is one of my fellow- 
 workers and whose Uterary efforts are already 
 making a mark, to write a brief preface to this 
 book. 
 
 It is undoubtedly a book which wiU delight 
 boys and girls. It is fuU of interest and fvm, 
 but it also [suppUes much useful information in 
 a readable form, and it quietly draws attention 
 from the things which are seen and temporal 
 to the things which are unseen and eternal. 
 
 I trust it will lead many of those who read it 
 to inquire further about missionary work in 
 Western China, and perhaps some of these will 
 some day take the same voyage as the Three 
 
PREFACE 
 
 Men, with the same purpose in view, namely, 
 to make known Christ among the Heathen. For 
 much greater efforts than we have yet made 
 will be needed if the many millions of people 
 in this region who are still Is^ng in darkness 
 are to be reached by the Gospel message. 
 
 W. W. Cassels, 
 Bishop in Western China. 
 
CONTENTS 
 
 I. IN WHICH THE THREE MEN ARE INTRO- 
 DUCED 9 
 
 II. THE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 15 
 24 
 
 43 
 
 III. A WEIRD SCENE 
 
 IV. TOWING THE BOAT . 
 V. IN A CHINESE RESTAURANT 
 
 VI. AN EVENT IN THE OLD MAN'S HISTORY 53 
 
 VII. THE PILOT, THE PIRATE CHIEF AND CO. 61 
 
 VIII. THE ACCOUNT-KEEPING OF FU, AND 
 
 OTHER MATTERS . . . 1 . 70 
 
 IX. CHRYSANTHEMUMS AND CUSTOMS . 78 
 
 X. ALL IN THE DAY'S WORK ... 84 
 
 XI. THE RAPIDS AND THE RIV«:R . -90 
 
 XII. CHATS BY THE WAY .... 99 
 
CONTENTS 
 
 aurixa 
 
 
 
 
 PAOB 
 
 XIII. 
 
 THE THREE GO ON SHORE 
 
 • 
 
 • 
 
 xo6 
 
 XIV. 
 
 SHOCK-HEADED PETER . 
 
 • 
 
 • 
 
 "3 
 
 XV. 
 
 SOME TANGIBLE MYTHOLOGY 
 
 • 
 
 • 
 
 124 
 
 KVI. 
 
 CHINESE ' FOOTER ' . 
 
 • 
 
 • 
 
 134 
 
 XVII. IN A CHINESE THEATRE AND TEMPLE I43 
 
 XVIII. A NIGHT IN THE RAPIDS . . . I56 
 
 XIX. A FAREWELL LOOK AT OUR * HOUSE ' 164 
 
LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 XT IS A SIGHT TO SEE THEM OK A WASHING 
 
 EXPLOIT .... Frontispieet 
 
 FACDTO rAOB 
 
 GESTICULATING AND TALKING AT A GREAT RATS 1 8 
 
 OVER SANDY SHORES THEY SCRAMBLE . . 33 
 
 UNCLE SAM SALLIES FORTH TO DOCTOR WOUNDED 
 
 COOLIES ...... 8g 
 
 COOLIES YELLING AS THEY HURRIED HITHER AND 
 
 THITHER ...... 107 
 
 SHOCK-HEADED PETER . . . ENGAGED IN A 
 
 SPIRITED TUSSLE . . . . . I36 
 
 THE TENSILE ROPE . . . VIBRATES FOR A MOMENT 
 
 AND THEN SNAPS ..... 162 
 
 JUST DISPOSING OF HIS THIRD BASIN OF RICX . 164 
 
THREE MEN ON A CHINESE 
 HOUSEBOAT 
 
 CHAPTER I 
 
 IN WHICH THE THREE MEN ARE INTRODUCED 
 
 THE Three Men, chief actors in this little 
 adventure, were the Old Man, Uncle 
 Sam and Billy. The chief source of informa- 
 tion is a journal which, apparently, was written 
 by Billy while he and his friends were on 
 the Houseboat together. For this reason the 
 account is called, ' Three Men on a Chinese 
 Houseboat.' 
 
 A journey of one thousand five hundred 
 miles up the River Yang-tse is a matter not 
 to be undertaken lightly by persons who 
 caimot speak a word of Chinese ; and so, when 
 Uncle and his two friends presented themselves 
 in Shanghai, the problem that faced the 
 Mission Secretaries responsible for their journey 
 was, ' Who shall take them ? ' Uncle Sam 
 hailed from America, the Old Man and Billy 
 9 
 
lo THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 had come from England. Eventually the 
 Secretaries discovered a mutual friend, whom 
 we will call by his Chinese name, Mr. Beh, 
 who was taking a party of recruits up 
 to Chungking for his own Mission. By his 
 kindness it was arranged that they should 
 all travel by steamer together up to Ichang, 
 and from thence the Three Men should get 
 on to their own Chinese Houseboat. 
 
 This proved very satisfactory, and on a 
 bright star-lit night a party of twelve set 
 off from Shanghai. Mr. Beh's own company 
 numbered eight ; himself and a friend of 
 his wife, a married couple (new recruits), 
 two single men, and two single ladies. Then 
 there was Miss Ih, a Danish lady, a recruit 
 for the same Mission as the Old Man and Billy, 
 while Uncle Sam and the two latter made 
 twelve. Mr. Beh and his wife's friend were 
 missionaries of considerable experience ; all 
 the rest were new-comers. 
 
 The steamboats which ply between Shanghai 
 and Ichang, whether European, Chinese or 
 Japanese, leave very little room for criticism 
 as regards comfort for passengers. The party 
 soon settled down and became known to one 
 another. The Captain was a genial man, 
 an Englishman, who played the organ which 
 stood in the dining-saloon. One afternoon 
 
THE THREE MEN II 
 
 as a special treat he took Billy and the 
 Old Man into his cabin and played skilfully 
 on a good piano for their benefit. The steamer 
 went merrily up the river, past Nanking and 
 Kiukiang, cities famous in Chinese history. 
 Most of the passengers on board were Chinese. 
 
 When they arrived at Hankow the Three 
 Men found that owing to lack of accommoda- 
 tion on the steamer they were to stay there 
 for a week. Mr. and Mrs. Chow of the China 
 Inland Mission made it impossible <not to be 
 happy, and a table full of missionaries from all 
 parts were entertaining company ; to say noth- 
 ing of Lilian, Mrs. Chow's six-year-old daughter. 
 
 Lilian had a great bump of inquisitiveness, 
 and finding Billy an easy prey, she used to 
 annex him and say, ' Now, another diagon 
 story.' So Billy told her dragon stories ; of 
 dragons who governed kingdoms, and did it 
 very badly ; of a dragon who tried to swallow 
 the sun, and found it burnt his mouth so 
 much that he had to spit it out again, where- 
 upon it shone more brightly than ever; of 
 another dragon, who taught the Chinese people 
 music and other things ; which, perhaps, 
 might account for their ideas on these subjects 
 being so different from those of other people, 
 Lilian used to open her eyes wide and inquire 
 where the dragon lived and all about him, 
 
12 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 and was vastly entertained when she discovered 
 that he was the Chinese dragon. ' Why, 
 it's the dlagon that I saw yesterday ! a gleat 
 big thing ! ' said she. 
 
 ' It's just he/ said Billy, and gave her a hug, 
 for she was perfectly irresistible. 
 
 Bah Muh-si's sweet-voiced daughter was 
 there, following the footsteps of her missionary 
 father. She used to sing songs of Zion for 
 the benefit of the pilgrims after the day's 
 work was over. But it seemed never to be 
 over for Mr. Chow and his colleague; they 
 were very busy ' from morn till noon, from 
 noon till dewy eve ' and after. 
 
 One afternoon, however, his friends said 
 to Mr. Chow, ' You really must come and 
 have a game of tennis or you'll be going to 
 the hills long before summer comes.' So, 
 after the players had waited and given him 
 up, he came for half an hour. 
 
 After a week at Hankow the three friends 
 embarked on a Japanese steamer for Ichang. 
 The Viceroy of the Szechwan Province, possibly 
 because he heard that Billy and his friends 
 were travelling by that boat, also came on 
 board. That afternoon before the boat sailed 
 mandarins of every degree came to see him off. 
 There was his brother Viceroy from Wuchang 
 opposite ; and as the two stood bowing to 
 
THE THREE MEN 13 
 
 each other in their gorgeous robes with their 
 coral buttons on their hats, and the cocks 
 embroidered on their breasts and backs (signs 
 of most exalted rank), they made a very novel 
 and impressive picture. They then retired 
 into the saloon for a while and talked. After 
 a short time they drank some tea, and came 
 slowly out of the door ; then, with more genu- 
 flexions and bows, they bade each other fare- 
 well. 
 
 ' May favouring winds accompany you,' 
 said His Excellency of Wuchang. 
 
 ' You are kindness itself ! ' said his Szechwan 
 brother. ' I pray you, don't hurry away.' 
 
 Then followed a few mandarins of the second 
 rank, with their hat buttons of sapphire blue, 
 and their peacock embroideries. They did 
 not stay so long, and soon drank their tea — 
 the sign that they would not weary His Ex- 
 cellency. Then came several high literary 
 gentlemen with purple buttons and pelican 
 embroideries ; these were followed by many 
 military officers, some in Chinese dress with 
 their light blue buttons and pheasant em- 
 broideries. There were besides a large number 
 in foreign-made uniforms of blue and red, 
 attended by soldiers similarly attired. 
 
 The scene was one of great bustle and 
 ceremony, and the foreign sightseers stood 
 
14 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 on one side gazing at the novel spectacle. 
 While the higher mandarins were paying their 
 visit, the lesser men had crowded outside the 
 saloon talking to one another at a great rate. 
 It was to the strangers a glimpse into a new 
 world as full of interest as the Arabian Nights. 
 The nodding plumes and rich robes made 
 a very striking scene, while the animated 
 conversation in a so strangely musical tongue 
 had all the fascination of the unknown. Coolies 
 and servants were crowding every available 
 space on the steamer and in the numerous 
 native boats around, while the din was tre- 
 mendous. 
 
 At length the last of the visitors had de- 
 parted, and the weary Viceroy was free to 
 go and change his gorgeous robes of ceremony 
 for the unassuming attire of the ordinary 
 Chinese gentleman, which he wore for the rest 
 of the voyage. 
 
 It should be recorded that the Japanese 
 officers on the boat were very kind to the 
 Three Men and would not hear of their dis- 
 embarking on Christmas Day (on which day 
 they arrived at Ichang) until they had par- 
 taken of a most sumptuous Christmas dinner 
 that they had provided in honour of the 
 festival which they knew all Christians hold 
 in reverence. 
 
CHAPTER II 
 
 THE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 TO the Old Man, Uncle Sam and Billy, 
 the thought of a journey up the Yang- 
 tse was full of the joy of a long picnic. Ah ! 
 my reader, do you not know that ' where 
 ignorance is bliss 'tis folly to be wise ' ? They 
 had heard in a vague way of the dangers of 
 the Yang-tse, the hidden rocks and the per- 
 fidious rapids, but lightly fell such warnings 
 on inattentive ears, and the result was that the 
 Three Men thoroughly enjoyed the prospect 
 of their journey. They knew nothing of the 
 Chinese language, and very little of Chinese 
 ways ; but they were people of average powers 
 of observation, and of quite the average power 
 of appreciation. 
 
 The day was passing to westward from the 
 city of Ichang when the three friends came 
 to the riverside. There was much shouting 
 and gesticulation and snapping of Chinese 
 crackers, and the Captain's wife was standing 
 IS 
 
16 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 on the bow talking away at a great rate in 
 a language unknown to the travellers. Their 
 baggage had been carried on board and stowed 
 safely in whatever spot for the moment seemed 
 most convenient ; and the boatman who 
 had brought the Three Men and their goods 
 from the shore was still in heated controversy 
 with the cook (who was not visible) concerning 
 the insufficient payment he had received ; 
 while the blood of the cock — slain, in accord- 
 ance with immemorial Chinese custom, by the 
 boatmen before starting — was yet warm on 
 the prow when the boat cast off to cross the 
 river for the night, ready for an early start 
 at break of day. The Houseboat was to follow 
 the westering sun for upwards of a thousand 
 miles to the Cotton City (commonly called 
 Mienchow) in the Land of the Four Streams 
 (known as Szechwan), Western China. 
 
 While Fu the ' housemaid ' (of whom more 
 later) was laying the supper the Three Men 
 made their beds and then adjourned to the 
 table; but getting thither proved eventful. 
 Good reader, have you ever seen your sister, 
 or if you are a sister, have you ever seen 
 yourself struggling with a skein of wool which 
 had become so hopelessly entangled that, for 
 some inexplicable reason known only to skeins 
 of wool, the more you succeeded in extricating 
 
THE HOUSEBOAT 17 
 
 the more thoroughly did the rest become 
 muddled ? Even so was it with the condition 
 of the floor of that Houseboat ! 
 
 To begin with, the Old Man fell over a 
 box in getting to the table, and then Uncle 
 Sam had to sit down first and have the table 
 pushed up against him ; while Billy, not 
 wishing to be outdone, in moving his chair 
 in order to sit down, made way for a pile of 
 goods of various sorts that was just waiting 
 for that opportunity to fall on him. How- 
 ever, the Three Men managed to arrange 
 themselves at last. That was a most interest- 
 ing table. In front of Uncle Sam was an 
 enamelled teapot, and three enamelled cups 
 and saucers, which he filled with tea for the 
 delectation of himself and his thirsty brethren. 
 The Old Man noticed with a proud chuckle 
 that Fu had placed his soup-dish in a useful 
 position at his left hand. Billy proceeded 
 to serve from an enamelled plate some appetiz- 
 ing stewed kidney, whereat Uncle Sam, 
 catching a whiff, was greatly excited. For 
 the first few minutes not a word was 
 spoken, but at length Billy suggested that 
 things promised to be comfortable ; and 
 the Old Man beamed with complacency. 
 
 Supper being finished, it was agreed that 
 an early retirement should take place, which 
 2 
 
i8 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 eventually ended in everybody finding him- 
 self in bed at a somewhat later hour than 
 usual. But — not asleep ! The boatmen out- 
 side on- the bow talked and smoked and burnt 
 charcoal, and ran about over the passengers' 
 heads on the bamboo roof. When at length 
 the crew stopped their activities and settled 
 to sleep there arose a chorus of snores which 
 quite threw the united efforts of Uncle Sam 
 and the Old Man into the shade. 
 
 The next afternoon Billy and the Old Man 
 were very much interested in the conduct of the 
 only lady on board. She was walking about 
 on her stilt-like legs (Chinese bound feet had 
 she), gesticulating and talking at a great rate. 
 This Chinese woman evidently counted for 
 much among the crew. 
 
 ' Who is she. Daddy ? ' asked Billy, when 
 at last she subsided into silence and a seat. 
 
 ■ Couldn't say,' said the Old Man, ' perhaps 
 she's the Captain.' 
 
 ' Perhaps so,' returned Billy. ' She's either 
 the Captain or the Captain's wife, and it 
 seems more likely she should be the latter, 
 since she appears to have too much authority 
 to be only the Captain.' 
 
 This lady was a marvel. She superintended 
 the fitting up of the cooking stove in the 
 kitchen for the Three Men, and smiled or 
 
GESTICULATING AND TALKING AT A GREAT RATE. 
 
THE HOUSEBOAT 19 
 
 frowned as the course of the performance 
 demanded. She even allowed a hole to be 
 cut through the side of the boat for the stove 
 pipe ; and otherwise gave them privileges 
 which the Captain would not have dared to 
 concede without her consent. 
 
 ' Well, I never saw the like ! ' exclaimed 
 BiUy at length, surprised into speaking for 
 once. ' Fancy having her for a wife. Old Man ! ' 
 Whereupon the Old Man looked like an em- 
 bodied resolution to remain a bachelor for 
 ever. 
 
 ' There's one thing about this Chinese boat- 
 life,' remarked the Old Man — ^who, attired in 
 a blue Chinese overall, somewhat resembled 
 a butcher — ' one can do as one pleases.' 
 
 ' You certainly do as you please, at any 
 rate,' retorted Uncle Sam. ' Look, BiUy, 
 at the Old Man ! top boots, white slouch 
 hat, and blue Chinese overall. Give him a 
 joint of beef and he'll be at home ! ' 
 
 It was surprising that Uncle Sam should be 
 able to stop to make such a remark. He, 
 unshaven and with a pocket-handkerchief 
 round his head, looked rather like an Italian 
 washerwoman. He was very busy, putting 
 things in order and making arrangements of 
 various sorts. He had given the Old Man 
 a job, viz., to whittle a hole in a board, and 
 
20 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 was now chasing him round the boat in his 
 endeavours to put things straight. 
 
 ' Here, Old Man, get out of my way ; I want 
 that deck board up to go below' — this in 
 reference to the floor under which the goods 
 were stored. 
 
 ' Just move a little, Old Man,' said Billy; 
 ' you're sitting on my trunk.' 
 
 Once more the Old Man moved, and again 
 settled down. 
 
 ' Have you made that hole yet ? ' inquired 
 Uncle Sam some minutes afterwards ; but 
 the Old Man was smoking his pipe with as 
 comfortable a disregard for time as a Chinese. 
 That board cost Uncle Sam a lot of worry, 
 and the Old Man spent several hours nursing 
 it. At last Fu came with a saw, and took it 
 from him with an indulgent smile, and made 
 the hole in five minutes. 
 
 By the time that the midday meal arrived, 
 Uncle Sam was gazing with great satisfaction 
 on two square yards of floor which were 
 straightened up ; and still more on the leg of 
 mutton and its supporters which Fu placed 
 on the table with the calm serenity of a man 
 who knows his work will be appreciated. 
 
 But — who was Fu ? Here must the story 
 cease for a moment while the praise of Fu 
 is simg. 
 
THE HOUSEBOAT 21 
 
 Fu was a young Chinese with a sedate, 
 serious face, quiet manners, unquestionable 
 dignity, and fingers that would have graced 
 any organist. Fu was a most useful servant, 
 although he could not speak a word of English 
 He knew his work well, and had been posted 
 up in his business by the head of the expedition, 
 Mr. Beh — for the three in their small boat 
 were an appendage of the larger boat con- 
 taining Mr. Beh and his party. Things 
 generally went on smoothly between Fu and 
 the Three Men with the aid of pantomime. 
 One day Fu came in to them. The Old Man 
 was reading as usual. Uncle Sam (as scarcely 
 less frequently) was sleeping, and Billy was 
 writing the history as herein contained. Fu's 
 hands were greasy, and to judge by his gestures 
 evidently he wanted some soap. 
 
 ' What is it, Fu ? ' said Billy, ' soap ? ' 
 
 ' Soup ! ' reiterated Fu, in an uncertain 
 voice. 
 
 ' To wash with ? ' suggested the Old Man. 
 
 ' Wah shway,' imitated Fu in the same 
 tincertain tones. 
 
 Thereupon the Old Man, by one of his in- 
 spirations, was prompted to go through the 
 action of washing ; and Fu's face shone with 
 appreciation. After much searching in his 
 trunk. Daddy handed him a small packet. 
 
22 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 saying, ' Soap ' in a designator^ tone of voice ; 
 but Fu hardly grasped the situation, and Billy, 
 anxious to find out the Chinese name, said, 
 ' What do you call it ? ' in such clear tones 
 that none could mistake them. Fu did not, 
 for he responded, ' What do you call it,' in 
 luminous accents, evidently well pleased with 
 himself, and thinking ' What-do-you-call-it ' 
 rather a long name. Then his face glowed, 
 and he articulated unmistakably, ' ih tsi,' 
 which appeared therefore to be the Mandarin 
 word for soap ; for Fu spoke Mandarin, the 
 language of by far the greater number of the 
 Chinese people. 
 
 About twelve of the eighteen provinces of 
 China speak the Mandarin dialect. In fact, 
 as time goes on and railways bring the distant 
 parts of the country nearer to one another, 
 the Mandarin will probably become the univer- 
 sal language of China. It has the advantage 
 of being a sort of colloquial form of the Chinese 
 classical tongue. It is called Mandarin because 
 it is the language in which the Mandarins 
 or officials conduct all their business. Some 
 one has said that the word came into existence 
 through a foreigner hearing an official called 
 Man-da-Ren, or ' his Excellency Man,' and 
 thinking it was a title belonging to all officials ; 
 so they all came to be called Mandarin. This, 
 
THE HOUSEBOAT 23 
 
 however, is only a story. Undoubtedly the 
 proper derivation of the word is from the Portu 
 guese mandar, ' to command,' and was given to 
 the governing classes of China by the Portuguese. 
 Boys who study Latin will see that the word 
 is thus allied to the word ' mandare,' to com- 
 mand, and with the English word ' mandate.' 
 When we remember that each mandarin was 
 supposed to regard the people he governed as 
 a solemn charge committed to his care by the 
 Emperor, the father of his people, we see 
 how suitable the use of a word whose root 
 meaning is ' to commit into the hands ' was 
 as a designation. It is good to know that 
 the Bible and many other valuable books 
 have been translated into Mandarin. 
 
CHAPTER III 
 
 A WEIRD SCENE 
 
 FU'S politeness had always been a matter 
 of comment and surprise amongst the 
 Three, but it turned out afterwards that he 
 had received far more credit than was due to 
 him. If any one called him ' Da Si-Fu ' 
 (' great servant Fu ') he always responded, 
 ' Sir, ' and his former master received many 
 eulogiums for his successful training. Sub- 
 sequently, however, a clearer knowledge of 
 Chinese revealed their mistake. 'Sir' is the 
 Mandarin word for ' Yes.' 
 
 After dirmer Uncle Sam was taken with a 
 frantic desire to pull the floor up again, much 
 to the disgust of Billy, who wanted to ' slack.' 
 The Old Man, of course, was seated in the 
 easiest chair, resolved neither to trouble others 
 nor be troubled by them. Uncle Sam, however, 
 sometimes got his own way, and so the boards 
 were pulled up, and soon an unpacking of 
 boxes began. 
 
 a4 
 
A WEIRD SCENE 25 
 
 ' Here are some plates we shall want, and 
 a lamp and a lantern.' Various other articles 
 were found and brought out for use, and then 
 the floor was put down, and the bedroom was 
 straightened. Fu swept the floor and wiped 
 it over with his Chinese mop ; in doing which 
 he dispensed with a pail and dipped his mop 
 into the river, putting it through the window 
 to do so. Thus the trio were fairly started 
 in their new home. 
 
 It must not be supposed that the three 
 friends always formed a harmonious triad. 
 Every musician knows that some of the most 
 perfect effects in harmony are obtained by 
 the insertion of discords followed by their 
 resolutions. And so with these men on a 
 boat. They were always in perfect harmony, 
 but they found it advisable sometimes to 
 intensify the beauty of it by inserting discords, 
 which discords were followed by ' resolutions ' 
 never to do it again. Nearly every morning, 
 for example, BiUy was brought into dissonance 
 with the Old Man and Uncle Sam on the bed 
 question. The Old Man and Uncle Sam had 
 a fatal fondness for their beds which Billy 
 found it impossible to comprehend, as he 
 could not understand a man preferring his 
 bed to his breakfast. It generally ended in 
 Billy pulling the two delinquents out of their 
 
a6 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 downy prison, they knowing too well the 
 justice of his action to offer much objection ; 
 moreover, their appetites were bidding them 
 rise, though their lazy bones were so long in 
 obeying. But the Old Man and Uncle did 
 not submit tacitly of course, although they 
 made no active resistance ; the Old Man said 
 Billy had an uneasy conscience and couldn't 
 rest ; while Uncle Sam declared he was in 
 love and a slanderer, which charges were too 
 palpably off the point for the serene mind of 
 Billy to be troubled by them. 
 
 Again, Uncle Sam was never happy unless 
 the temperature stood at somewhere about 
 100 degrees centigrade, and all the windows 
 were shut; and the Old Man was never 
 happy, unless he was keeping every body in 
 hot water. In fact, neither of them was 
 happy unless BiUy was miserable. When 
 they had succeeded between them in giving 
 Billy a bad liver attack their happiness was 
 complete. There were, however, some points 
 on which they were agreed. They were all 
 agreed about meals and such minor details, 
 and the Old Man and Billy had agreed not to 
 shave until this journal ended, a compact 
 which they faithfully kept. The result was 
 that in a week Billy felt bound to tell the Old 
 Man that he looked like a respectable bear, 
 
A WEIRD SCENE 27 
 
 while the Old Man retorted that Billy was 
 like a billiard ball growing a crop of ginger. 
 
 There was another and very important 
 point on which they agreed thoroughly. This 
 was that there was a great need for missionary 
 work in China. They were reminded of this 
 when they saw the cock slaughtered, and his 
 blood sprinkled on the prow to ensure a safe 
 voyage. Every night, too, they were reminded 
 of it when with deafening uproar the gong 
 sounded out to frighten away evil spirits ; or 
 when other queer observances took place for 
 the benefit of the travellers. 
 
 One day the boat stopped just outside a 
 town, and the three friends, as was their 
 wont, went on shore to look round. 
 
 ' Dirty place,' remarked Uncle Sam, sniffing 
 critically. 
 
 ' Moral, keep your mouth shut ! * said 
 Billy. 
 
 ' You never could,' said the Old Man, ' if 
 you tried.' 
 
 ' Now, don't be cheeky,' retorted Billy. ' I 
 kept it shut yesterday when you tumbled 
 amongst your luggage, in spite of the fact that 
 I was simply dying to make an appropriate 
 remark.' 
 
 Just then a most dismal, brazen sound of 
 a gong fell on their ears. 
 
28 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 ' How melancholy,' said Uncle. ' What can 
 it be ? ' 
 
 ' Where does it come from ? ' asked Billy. 
 ' There's nothing to be seen.' 
 
 Again the sound fell on their ears, deep, 
 insistent. 
 
 ' How weird ! ' said the Old Man ; ' it is 
 just like a funeral.' 
 
 Again fell that funeral note, and yet again, 
 and at intervals it sounded, solemn and 
 penetrating. 
 
 Just then they saw a little procession coming 
 from the city. The Three Men knew that the 
 white unbleached calico costumes betokened 
 mourners, and a hush fell over them as the 
 procession came nearer, moving towards the 
 shore. There was no coffin, and at first the 
 three friends were puzzled as to what was 
 happening. Each member of the procession 
 was carrying an article made of coloured paper, 
 and one was holding a bundle of paper money, 
 and silver paper in the shape of shoes. Then 
 followed all kinds of articles. Paper bricks, 
 a paper house, a paper horse, paper chairs 
 and a table, and one or two paper men and 
 women. The procession halted at an open 
 space where evidently previous burnings had 
 taken place. Then the mourners proceeded 
 to dispose of their burdens. They put up 
 
A WEIRD SCENE 29 
 
 the paper house, with the chairs and tables, 
 and stood the horse and the men and women 
 near it. Then they built the bricks round in 
 the form of a wall. Having done this, the 
 leader recited some words which the Three 
 Men could not understand. The meaning 
 was something like this : ' O illustrious spirit, 
 whom we revered as father on earth, accept 
 these poor expressions of our duty, and when 
 thou enjoyest these gifts of our reverence, 
 forget not to help us in the hour of need.' 
 Having said this, a light was put to the pile, 
 and soon a huge blaze was ascending up to 
 heaven, offerings to the spirits of their an- 
 cestor. 
 
 The Three Men stood at a distance and 
 gazed in silence. They were in no humoiir 
 for joking, and the spirit of friendly banter 
 was quelled for the time. The solemnity 
 with which the actors in this sad scene played 
 their part made it all the more distressing. 
 Evidently they regarded it as a very serious 
 matter. The three friends watched the flames 
 die down, and then turned away to their boat. 
 
 ' Isn't it sad ? ' exclaimed Uncle Sam, 
 when they had left the scene behind ' I 
 cannot help feeling,' he went on, ' that if 
 you were to have it out with those men they 
 would have to confess that it's all a farce.' 
 
30 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 ' Possibly,' said the Old Man, ' and that I 
 think makes it all the more sad. If this is 
 the case they are simply satisfying their 
 yearnings after converse with the other world 
 with things which pressure would compel 
 them to admit to be folly.' 
 
 ' It just shows,' remarked Uncle Sam, * that 
 if a man has no information about the other 
 world, so great is his longing for it that he 
 will proceed to invent it for himself.' 
 
 ' You see,' said Billy, ' they are anxious 
 about the future state of their dead relatives. 
 This ancestral worship reminds us of one of 
 the most precious truths that Christianity has 
 to give China. " Jesus and the Resurrection " 
 will solve all their problems about the 
 other world. If only they could realize that 
 there is no need for them to attempt what 
 is impossible, for " no man may deliver his 
 brother (or any ancestor) or make agreement 
 unto God for him, for it cost more to redeem 
 their souls, so that he must let that alone for 
 ever." ' 
 
 ' I have heard,' remarked Uncle Sam, " that 
 the Chinese believe a man has three souls, 
 and that when he dies one of these souls goes 
 into the grave with the coffin ; one goes to 
 the ancestral tablet ; and the other wanders 
 about in space, and is very miserable if there 
 
A WEIRD SCENE 31 
 
 is no one to provide him with the necessaries 
 of life. If he has friends and they do not 
 provide for him, he comes and plagues them 
 till they do.' 
 
 ' So then it is fear as much as reverence 
 that makes them offer these sacrifices ? ' said 
 the Old Man. 
 
 ' Mostly fear, I imagine,' replied Uncle Sam. 
 
 ' Well,' said Billy, ' all I can say is that I'm 
 glad I've come to China as a missionary. That 
 a people so wise and clever as the Chinese are 
 in many ways can make such hopeless mistakes 
 when it comes to religion proves to my mind 
 that " man by searching cannot find out God," 
 and therefore those who know His Truth are 
 guilty if they do not use what opportunities 
 they have to reveal Him to those who are 
 ignorant.' 
 
 His companions agreed, and thus talking 
 the Three Men returned to their Houseboat. 
 
CHAPTER IV 
 
 TOWING THE BOAT 
 
 A WET sheet and a flowing river, and a 
 wind that makes one shiver,' was the 
 mangled rendering of Cunningham's sweet 
 sea-song with which Billy informed his two 
 friends one morning of the prospects of sailing. 
 Chinese ' river traffic is an extraordinary ex- 
 perience. The Chinese use sails to catch what 
 wind there is and so help the boat forward ; 
 but the great bulk of the work is done by a 
 body of coolies who tow the boat along from 
 the shore. At daybreak there is suddenly 
 a great shouting and scurrying to and fro 
 over the sleeping passengers' heads ; and 
 from the boats — for there is a small boat or 
 sampan in attendance on the Houseboat — 
 a confused hubbub arises from dozens of 
 coolies aU shouting at once. Presently, at 
 the sound of a drum, ' rubdubba, rubdubba,' 
 all is silent save for a repeated slight thud of 
 wood on crockery. This is produced by busy 
 chopsticks attacking basins of rice. 
 32 
 
OVER SANDY SHORES THEY SCRAMBLE. 
 
TOWING THE BOAT 33 
 
 As soon as breakfast is ended the men are on 
 the move again, and in a few minutes the boat 
 is in motion. Slowly and smoothly she goes, 
 with the trackers in advance in the sampan. 
 If there is any wind the sail is up, but when the 
 shore is convenient for landing, out get the 
 coolies; about twenty men haul and shout, 
 and the boat goes merrily up the river at about 
 three or four miles an hour. Over sandy 
 shores scramble the crew, jumping over 
 boulders and climbing over rocks that are too 
 high for jumping ; down into little waterways, 
 and up on the other side like men in an obstacle 
 race* Now they are out of sight. Now the 
 cliffs drop down sheet into the river and the 
 coolies come back into the boat, which has 
 to depend on the sail and the oars until the 
 shore again appears. 
 
 ' I say, Old Man,' said Billy. ' I am warm ; 
 aren't you ? Let's go outside and get some 
 air.' And so they went on to the prow, leaving 
 Uncle Sam with his feet on a charcoal brazier, 
 and his rug round his knees, and himself 
 seated as close to the fire as he could get, 
 waiting for the temperature to go up to his 
 favourite height. 
 
 ' Look at those chaps,' said the Old Man ; 
 • they're going quite out of sight,' and sure 
 enough, almost before he had finished speaking 
 
 3 
 
34 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 the coolies had climbed over the brow of a 
 rocky hill, and no sign of them was left but 
 the rope. 
 
 ' We'll investigate up there. Old Man, if 
 we get the chance,' said Billy. 
 
 ' Right ho ! ' replied he. 
 
 Soon after this the boat came to a standstill 
 under a rocky promontory, and the Three 
 Men got out for a stretch. 
 
 ' Let us go up and see what those fellows 
 are doing,' said Billy, pointing to another band 
 jof coolies who were following the track just 
 taken by the crew of their own boat. But 
 Uncle Sam WQnt a different way, being seized 
 with a desire to climb an almost perpendicular 
 rock. Needless to say, he could not accomplish 
 it, although in trying to do so he nearly killed 
 himself. Nevertheless, he brought back with 
 him some grasses which he had picked about 
 half way up, and pretended to offer them as 
 proof that he had been to the top ; but Billy 
 wore a vacant look, and the Old Man smiled 
 with bland inanity. 
 
 Meanwhile the Old Man and Billy had been 
 to investigate, and when they had heard 
 Uncle Sam's account, Billy said : 
 
 ' There's no doubt Uncle Sam ought to 
 have been with us and seen those fine rocks. 
 Solid rocks. Uncle Sam, with steps cut out 
 
TOWING THE BOAT 33 
 
 for traffic over them, and grooves and eyelets 
 innumerable where the coolies' ropes have worn 
 into their hard surfaces for hundreds of years ; 
 posts, Uncle Sam, cut out of the rock's own 
 heart where countless boats have been moored 
 since first they plied on the Yang-tse ; and 
 loops for the same purpose tunnelled out of 
 the rocky side, forming a fastening of Nature's 
 own providing for the hawser to defy the 
 hardest strain.' 
 
 One day the Houseboat anchored near a 
 Chinese village. A Chinese hamlet is not like 
 those with which Westerners are familiar. 
 There are no neat little cottages bosomed 
 among trees and shrubs, with creeping plants 
 making them more beautiful. No pretty 
 hedgerows divide field from field. But there 
 are buildings that look like very dilapidated 
 thatched cattle sheds, which the Chinese 
 cottager calls his home, hedged in, it may be, 
 amongst glorious vegetation, but appearing 
 like a soiled patch on a gorgeous garment. 
 Pigs are running hither and thither, grunting 
 and grubbing and making everything, including 
 the interior of the cottage, dirty. No trim 
 housewife stands at the door with arms akimbo 
 looking clean and comely ; but a grimy dame 
 in baggy trousers, and an upper garment 
 whose wide sleeves she holds in such a manner 
 
36 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 as to make her look very much Hke a penguin, 
 smiles curiously at the passer-by with a face 
 that is, nevertheless, often very prepossess- 
 ing. The village at which the Three Men 
 found themselves early one afternoon was 
 presumably a typical one. The river here 
 runs for miles through steep gorges, covered 
 in many places with luxuriant vegetation, 
 and on one of these spots the houses were 
 grouped. Scarcely two cottages stood on 
 the same elevation, and the highest were 
 quite five hundred feet above the river, and 
 even more — so the Old Man declared. 
 
 ' What a glorious place this is. Old Man ! ' 
 exclaimed Billy, as they stepped from the 
 boat, leaving Uncle Sam examining the con- 
 tents of the hold. He had a woman's affection 
 for sorting his possessions, and found it neces- 
 sary on this auspicious day to turn out all 
 his boxes in order to find a sheet and a bottle 
 of carbolic acid. When the two came back 
 an hour later he was still at it. 
 
 ' Yes, this is lovely,' said the Old Man in 
 answer to Billy's remark. 
 
 ' Look at the other side : those rocks rise sheer 
 out of the water for fifteen hundred feet. Isn't 
 the vegetation fine ? I've never seen anything 
 to equal this,' said Billy with an experienced 
 air to give the statement weight. The rock, 
 
TOWING THE BOAT 37 
 
 as Uncle Sam suggested, decidedly appeared 
 to be of volcanic origin, and such a mighty 
 chasm as this through which the Yang-tse 
 flowed in stateliness might well have been 
 riven by volcanic thunder — if only geologists 
 would not say it was not ! Here was Nature 
 at once in her sternest and softest moods. 
 Great, solid rock, conical, shelving, honey- 
 combed, sharp, smooth and jagged, draped 
 with delicate palm and fern, and other glories ; 
 and at its feet the unfathomed deeps of the 
 mighty river reflecting in its waters the fair 
 scene above. 
 
 A fine crag on the farther side of the village 
 suggested a climb to the Old Man, who forth- 
 with proposed it. Billy was so astonished 
 at the Old Man proposing anything requiring 
 so much exertion that he assented without 
 comment, and up they went, with — as far 
 as the end of the village — a crowd of natives 
 at their heels. One small boy was very chatty, 
 and talked away so unceasingly that he aroused 
 the emulation of the Old Man, who forthwith 
 hurled at him the only Chinese word he knew 
 — kai-shway (hot water) — to the youngster's 
 utter confusion. At the edge of the village 
 the crowd dropped off, and stood staring while 
 the Old Man and his companion scaled the 
 rocks ; for these Chinese villagers wondered 
 
38 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 at the idiots who could waste energy in climbing, 
 preferring the squalor of their own sorry 
 village. At the top of the crag was a house 
 or two, where the dogs barked and the children 
 gathered round. 
 
 The climbers wended their way down through 
 the village. Women waddled to their doors 
 to gaze inquisitively, children scampered to 
 their mothers in wonder and fear, and the men 
 stared. Nobody was in a hurry. A shopman 
 sat behind his counter and showed his wares. 
 But incense-sticks, candles, paper money and 
 other religious necessaries did not tempt 
 the two Westerners. In front of the shop was 
 strewn a layer of wheat, apparently to dry, 
 and on one side were baskets of vegetables 
 such as would make many a person revolt 
 from food for ever ! Lower down came the 
 barber's. Here a man was being shaved. 
 The water — Chinese never use soap — looked 
 as though it might be the same with which 
 the barber started business in his young days. 
 His customer, however,' seemed very happy, 
 and was inclined to chat with the two friends, 
 and suggested in pantomime that they should 
 have their stubble shaved off. But the 
 invitation was not accepted. Certainly the 
 barber's razor was very sharp, and did its 
 work splendidly. The head, round the pig- 
 
TOWING THE BOAT 39 
 
 tail, the forehead, eyelids, and cheeks, and in 
 fact all the face, was shaved clean, and thus 
 it is hardly true to say a Chinese never has 
 a clean visage ! The barber's wife in the hut 
 was busy cooking an enormous amount of 
 rice. 
 
 ' What is the old lady doing ? ' asked the 
 Old Man. 
 
 ' It appears to me,' said Billy, ' that she 
 runs a restaurant and the old gentleman 
 makes up the income by shaving.' 
 
 Certainly she was cooking a large amount of 
 rice for two. Farther on a man wanted to 
 sell a chicken to the foreigners, and a dog 
 barked to show his uneasiness as to their 
 credentials. At a little mountain stream 
 three women were washing the family linen. 
 Each sat on a rock to accomplish her task. 
 Instead of a wash-board they utilized a stone, 
 in place of a brush they used a stick, and 
 instead of scrubbing they thwacked ! They 
 were by no means disconcerted when the two 
 friends stopped to watch ; but they laughed 
 and joked to each other, evidently about the 
 strangers. Billy told the Old Man that his 
 costume tickled them. The Old Man was 
 fashionably dressed in a soft white felt hat 
 that would have graced Piccadilly, a cardigan 
 jacket that looked suggestive of a labourer, and 
 
40 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 top boots that might have belonged to a fisher- 
 man. The Old Man retorted that Billy's beard 
 was causing the fun, and when the women sent 
 a little girl on an errand, he said she had gone 
 for the barber. With which little pleasantries 
 they clambered down the rocks to their 
 boat. 
 
 That night while Uncle Sam and Billy were 
 watching the Old Man dressing for dinner 
 (a full account of which interesting procedure 
 will be given later on), there was silence save 
 for the music of rippling water and vigorous 
 ' blowing ' which accompanied the Old Man's 
 ablutionary exercise ! 
 
 At length Uncle broke the stillness with, 
 ' If only we could speak Chinese ! ' 
 
 ' Hear, hear. Uncle ! ' from Billy. 
 
 ' What was it that specially called forth 
 that remark. Uncle Sam ? ' inquired the 
 Old Man, who now, with the aid of a towel, 
 was making his good-tempered, complacent 
 face look as fresh as a daisy. 
 
 ' I was thinking of that village where 
 you went ashore at midday,' replied Uncle 
 Sam. 
 
 ' Really, Uncle,' rejoined Billy, ' we're 
 getting to know each other. We thought 
 you were too full of searching amongst your 
 treasures to give anything else a thought.' 
 
TOWING THE BOAT 41 
 
 ' I was looking for carbolic acid and calico 
 for my coolies who require medical assis- 
 tance.' 
 
 " You're a good chap, Uncle/ said the Old 
 Man ; " you were more with us on the cliff 
 than we thought. We were bemoaning the 
 fact of our inability to speak as far as the 
 people were concerned.' 
 
 ' What a nice lot they are/ remarked Billy. 
 ' They were all so good-tempered and looked 
 very intelligent. I can quite imagine myself 
 becoming fond of them. It looked so delight- 
 fully human to see the men tending their 
 children and playing with them as they stroll 
 around.' 
 
 ' How pleased that man was because we 
 noticed his little girl, Billy,' said the Old Man. 
 ' He seemed quite proud of her. She was a 
 pretty little thing, anyway. It's a good thing 
 to come to China and see them as they really 
 are. It makes one feel that in spite of all 
 their strange ways they are very much like 
 other nations in the things that really matter. 
 They are religious too,' he went oil, ' if 
 we may judge by what we see. In that 
 small village there were two fairly large 
 temples besides small shrines.' 
 
 ' Yes,' said Uncle Sam, ' and if we could 
 have spoken we might have taught them.' 
 
42 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 ' There are thousands of villages in China 
 like that one,' said Billy, ' where the Word 
 of God has never been preached. How real 
 it makes our prayers,' he continued, " when we 
 see such things as we have witnessed to-day.' 
 
CHAPTER V 
 
 IN A CHINESE RESTAURANT 
 
 BETWEEN the city of Kueifu and the 
 river lies a wide expanse of sandy shore. 
 This shore has the usual indescribable features 
 and characteristics of Chinese localities. The 
 Three Men went up into the city to see Mr. 
 Wan, who at this time was alone in the 
 China Inland Mission compound. He, though 
 an Englishman, was living very much in 
 native style. His clothes were Chinese and 
 he wore a pigtail. He made a very digni- 
 fied ' native,' and treated the' travellers to 
 Chinese cakes and tea in a room that looked 
 decidedly Chinese. Long scrolls with texts 
 in Chinese on them, and quaint pictures 
 illustrative of Bible subjects, painted by 
 Chinese artists from a Chinese point of view, 
 were hanging on the walls. For instance, 
 the Prodigal Son with dishevelled pigtail and 
 ragged blue gown looked strange, perhaps, 
 to English eyes, but he had a better chance 
 43 
 
44 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 of telling his message to a Chinese than the 
 Westerner's interpretation of the subject. He 
 is depicted as setting out on his journey in a 
 sedan-chair and dressed in gaudy silks, while 
 his poor grey-haired old father, with oblique 
 almond-shaped eyes, and the typical Chinese 
 features, looks yearningly after him. Dives 
 and Lazarus looked quaint indeed in Chinese 
 costume, but then Mr. Wan had not been 
 concerning himself with questions of foreign 
 aestheticism, but rather with the all-important 
 question of how to bring home the reality 
 of the Gospel to Chinese hearts. These then 
 were the kind of pictures that adorned the 
 wall, with texts in elegant Chinese writing to 
 explain them. 
 
 ' You've just come in time,' said Mr. Wan, 
 as they sat and talked. ' I should have been 
 away to-morrow, I'm going itinerating.' 
 
 ' How fortunate,' said they all. ' Do tell us 
 what it's like to visit a temple and preach.' 
 
 ' Very well,' replied Mr. Wan, ' suppose it 
 is nine o'clock in the morning (that is the time 
 I generally start). My friend the evangelist 
 is waiting. He has a supply of books, tracts, 
 calendars and portions of Scriptures ready 
 for us to take. As we go along the streets 
 of the city the shopkeepers and other friends 
 whom we pass salute us, and make kindly 
 
IN A CHINESE RESTAURANT 45 
 
 inquiries as to whether we have had our rice. 
 We satisfy them on this point and express 
 the same anxiety about their own domestic 
 economy ! The anxiety of every one in China 
 as to whether every one else has dined is 
 truly touching in theory. That question is 
 generally the first. Then perhaps the next 
 remark is, " As early as this ! " You reply, 
 " This is not early, dreadfully late ! " and so 
 you pass on. These are some of China's 
 ways of saying " Good morning ! " Going 
 in the same direction are coolies carrying loads 
 of rice, coke, beans or other things for sale; 
 or it may be a line of barrows that squeak 
 a pathetic appeal to be oiled ; or chairmen 
 carrying a loaded sedan-chair come shuffling 
 along shouting to people in front: "Chair 
 coming! Mind you don't get bumped!" 
 It is a wonder that more people in the crowd 
 do not get hurt by the ends of chair poles ; 
 in fact, the whole process seems a series of 
 narrow shaves. 
 
 ' After a time we get into the open country. 
 (It will be beautiful to-morrow, I've no doubt.) 
 The scent of blossoming mustard and beans 
 fills the air, and there is generally a light breeze 
 at this time of the year.' 
 
 ' To-day is January 12,' said the Old Man. 
 
 ' Yes,' rejoined Mr. Wan, ' a delightful time 
 
46 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 of the year for itinerating. There is plenty 
 of opportunity to get into conversation with 
 others going in our direction, and so missionary 
 work may begin at once. Of course the people 
 we meet are very keen to talk about the 
 ' ' Outside Kingdom ' ' (foreign countries) and 
 we do our best to satisfy them, and when an 
 opportunity presents itself we talk of God 
 to them, and seek to raise the current of their 
 curiosity to heavenly things.' 
 
 ' Such conversations must do good by 
 helping to spread Christian thought amongst 
 the people,' Billy remarked. ' Have you ever 
 come across any definite results from such 
 promiscuous sowing beside all waters ? ' 
 
 ' Yes,' replied their friend. ' I always invite 
 such men to the mission-house, and several 
 have been to see me. Some eventually have 
 definitely decided to follow Christ. 
 
 ' Thus talking together we go on our journey. 
 I remember on one occasion getting into con- 
 versation with a man. At last, " Where are 
 you going ? " said I. 
 
 '"To the City of Peace," said he. 
 
 ' " That's two days from here," said I. 
 " Do you know the missionary there ? " 
 
 ' " Yes," he said, " I often go into the 
 mission-church. You people preach good 
 doctrines, just like ours." 
 
IN A CHINESE RESTAURANT 47 
 
 '"My good friend," said I, "it isn't just 
 like yours, and I respectfully invite you to 
 examine it more closely and see for yourself 
 how different it is." 
 
 ' We often hear that kind of remark from 
 people who know very little about Christianity, 
 they say it with a sort of air of generous 
 indulgence as though they think they are 
 making rather a concession. But how com- 
 pletely they change their opinions if we can 
 only get them to search and look and see if 
 these things are so ! ' 
 
 ' Do you think,' asked Billy, ' that it is 
 necessary to have a knowledge of Buddhism 
 and other religions in order to be an efficient 
 missionary ? ' 
 
 * God does not require of a man necessarily 
 special knowledge in order to use him, of 
 course,' said Mr. Wan, ' and it is possible to 
 be of service as a missionary without having a 
 profound understanding of heathen religions; 
 but you can all see what a great advantage it 
 is to be able to meet a man on his own ground, 
 who says that the Gospel is like his own 
 religion, and through an intimate acquaint- 
 ance with that religion show him that the 
 Gospel is very different from it. A missionary 
 should regard a knowledge of the people's 
 religion as a sine qud non. It is like knowing 
 
48 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 what is in your adversary's armoury ; you 
 can better prepare to meet him. All our 
 missionaries are required in their first two 
 years of learning the language, to make also 
 a study of the three religions of China.' 
 
 ' Thank you,' said Billy, ' but I'm afraid I in- 
 terrupted the temple visiting. Do please go on. ' 
 
 ' On the day that I am thinking of,' pro- 
 ceeded Mr. Wan, ' we went into a tea-shop 
 on our arrival at the market town. There 
 we sat and drank tea for a time, and thus 
 refreshed ourselves after the walk. Of course 
 there are many opportunities there also of 
 speaking to the people and attempting to gain 
 their interest. On a market day many people 
 are in the tea-shops chatting, smoking, and 
 drinking tea, and sometimes doing business. 
 
 ' Having finished tea we go off together 
 to the fire-god temple. There are all sorts 
 of people in the courtyard buying and selling. 
 You may hire a table from the priest, who is 
 a Taouist, for a few cash. This we do, and 
 spread our books out upon it. The people crowd 
 round and examine the books and some of 
 them buy. The evangelist and I take it in 
 turns to preach to the people. This we keep 
 up for two or three hours. Around us are 
 the gods of the Heathen into whose domain 
 we have come to proclaim their uselessness 1 
 
IN A CHINESE RESTAURANT 49 
 
 Of course this requires tact, and we do well to 
 imitate the splendid example of St. Paul 
 at Athens in pointing out their mistakes to 
 the people. Speaking generally, there is no 
 need to adopt an idol-smashing attitude, but 
 it is necessary gently yet firmly to insist on 
 the truth of the first and second command- 
 ments. This temple-preaching achieves good 
 results, although we cannot always see them 
 at once; but the evangelist who went with 
 me that day first heard the Gospel in a temple.' 
 
 ' After you have preached for two or three 
 hours you would be hungry,' said the Old Man 
 sympathetically. ' Do you bring food with 
 you or wait till you get home ? ' 
 
 ' There is no need to do either,' replied Mr. 
 Wan. ' You can get all you require in the 
 Chinese eating-house. It is well worth while 
 to go there, too, if only to see the interesting 
 people that are assembled. 
 
 ' A Chinese restaurant is not very much like 
 an English one. It is much more primitive, 
 and no attempt is made to attain to > any 
 style. It exists to feed people and does it 
 conscientiously. You don't have to pay for 
 table napkins or pepper castors — there are 
 none ! And the consequence is you get your 
 meal much more cheaply. You can dine 
 luxuriously for twopence I 
 
 4 
 
50 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 ' I will attempt to describe the restaurant 
 into which I went on the day of which I have 
 been telling you. It looked as though the 
 builder had begun to make a cowshed, but as 
 an afterthought changed it as best he could 
 into an eating-house. The front and the back 
 were open, and lath and plaster was the 
 material of the two walls. On one side was a 
 coke furnace used to keep several kettles boil- 
 ing to supply the customers with tea ; also a 
 larger fireplace with iron cauldrons for boiling 
 rice, and for frying meat, vegetables and other 
 things for the visitors. From this downward, 
 from the front to the back of the shop, 
 stretched a table with a supply of foodstuffs 
 from which all comers might buy what they 
 pleased. The rest of the place was filled with 
 square tables and forms ; each table to seat 
 eight, and at a pinch, if a large party of friends 
 came, even more. The attendants kept up a 
 great shouting set to an accompaniment of 
 frying. The smells gave us an opportunity of 
 proving that we were not squeamish, and were 
 suggestive of a concentrated essence of pre- 
 historic fat with a tasteful mingling of garlic 
 and other things. 
 
 ' The odours do not worry the customers in a 
 Chinese restaurant ; in fact, they seem to like 
 them, and sit chatting and smoking and drinking 
 
IN A CHINESE RESTAURANT 51 
 
 their tea, patiently waiting till the meal is 
 brought. They have all the time there is, 
 and they are very well satisfied. This is 
 where the Chinese meet for gossip, and dis- 
 tant friends meet to sympathize with, cheer, 
 or amuse each other. This is whence news is 
 disseminated. Look at that old man with 
 his intelligent face, and his very thin pigtail, 
 so thin that any pig would feel decidedly 
 ashamed of it. How merry he is, and how all 
 his friends join with him in the laugh that his 
 remarks are creating ! His son — evidently that 
 young man beside him is his son — is a fine 
 fellow. There are big men and small men, men 
 with plump, bonny, and others with wizened 
 and cadaverous faces, suggestive of China's 
 bane, the opium. Ah ! the old gentleman's 
 party are just getting their meal brought to 
 them, and a little wave of complacent satis- 
 faction seems to pass over their faces. The 
 serving man has placed three basins in the 
 middle of their table, and other basins full of 
 rice are brought for each person. They take 
 up their chopsticks, and erect them deftly on 
 the table in their right hands to get them 
 placed evenly between their fingers. Then a 
 pretty little process of bowing and inviting 
 and pressing one another to eat begins. The 
 old gentleman smiles urbanely. 
 
52 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 ' " Eat a little,' ' he says ; " please don't delay. 
 You must be hungry." Evidently he is pay- 
 ing for it, for he calls it " very poor stuff." 
 
 ' ' ' How dare I ! " says each friend. ' ' I thank 
 you very much ; it is an excellent repast. You 
 are too kind." 
 
 ' They are now doing full justice to the meal, 
 and politely blowing over the hot rice like a 
 whole army of typhoons. The old gentleman's 
 face beams with heat and hospitality as with 
 skilful chopsticks he picks up a choice bit 
 and drops it into the basin of one of the guests, 
 who bows in response until he almost touches 
 the edge of the table. And so they have 
 their meal, and thus all the guests in the house 
 enjoy theirs, and the evangelist and I par- 
 take of ours in much the same way. After all, 
 human beings are the same all the world 
 over ; whether it be in a London restaurant 
 or this little old eating-house up in Western 
 China, the individualities of the people, their 
 engaging charm, and the sweet magic music of 
 humanity are one. It declares them to be 
 brothers and sisters, sons and daughters of 
 the great All-Father.' 
 
CHAPTER VI 
 
 AN EVENT IN THE OLD MAN's HISTORY 
 
 HIS visitors thanked Mr. Wan, and rose to 
 go- 
 
 ' I will come with you,' said he ; ' there is a 
 sick man near the shore in one of the hovels — 
 I can't call it a house — and I want to see him. 
 None of you Three are doctors, I suppose ? 
 You might come, and see what you think of 
 him. There's nothing "catching" in his 
 complaint.' 
 
 ' Uncle Sam does all the doctoring,' said his 
 friends. ' He has used pounds of zinc oint- 
 ment and quarts of carbolic acid since we came 
 on board.' 
 
 So they went to see the patient. Uncle 
 Sam felt his pulse, and said learned things with 
 the authority of one whose father was a doc- 
 tor. He then suggested some medicine to 
 Mr. Wan, which, marvellous to say, did not 
 kill the patient. In fact, a letter subsequently 
 received from Mr. Wan actually said that the 
 S3 
 
54 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 patient was better. They left the hoval and 
 walked towards the shore. 
 
 ' Do come on the boat, and see our apart- 
 ments,' said Billy. ' We are very comfort- 
 able.' 
 
 Mr. Wan went in with them, and the Old 
 Man cleared a place on his bed for a seat. 
 Uncle Sam's bed was taken down every day 
 because it was situated in the sitting-room, 
 and the space it took up at night was needed 
 by day for dining. The beds belonging to the 
 Old Man and Billy in the sitting-room, how- 
 ever, were used during the day as sofas for 
 the reception of guests or anything needing a 
 resting-place, including Uncle Sam for his 
 midday nap. Both beds generally held a 
 heterogeneous collection of articles during the 
 Three Men's waking hours. 
 
 ' Why here's Fu for dinner,' said Billy as 
 that worthy appeared with the soup. ' He has 
 laid a place for you, Mr. Wan.' So Mr. Wan 
 had half his meal with them, but had to leave 
 before it was finished because the crew insisted 
 on continuing their journey. 
 
 For some days past the Old Man had been 
 lamenting the fact that there were no barbers 
 to be had except Chinese gentlemen of that 
 ilk, who knew nothing about cutting hair 
 except with a razor. 
 
AN EVENT— OR TWO 55 
 
 ' You're all right, Old Man,' said Billy ; ' your 
 hair is quite decent yet.' 
 
 The Old Man had hinted once or twice that 
 they would have to cut each other's hair now, 
 as they had left civilization behind. He also 
 made a joke which he professed to enjoy much. 
 ' It is funny,' he would say, ' that here you 
 can leave civilization and barbarism behind 
 at the same time.' But now, the Old Man's 
 evident desire to enlist Billy's services as a 
 haircutter filled the latter with alarm. 
 
 ' I've never cut hair in my life. Old Man,' 
 said he, ' and I'm sure I should spoil your 
 good looks for you.' 
 
 ' Have a try,' the Old Man returned ; ' it 
 will be good practice for you. You'll have to 
 learn.' 
 
 ' Uncle Sam ' began Billy, but that worthy 
 
 hastened to explain that he was very busy 
 with letters, and an even worse haircutter than 
 Billy withal. Billy sighed resignedly. 
 
 ' That's it,' said the Old Man encouragingly. 
 ' You can do it all right. Here are the scissors 
 and a comb. I bought them specially, and you 
 shall use them first.' 
 
 ' Where will you sit ? ' asked Billy with 
 desperate resignation. 
 
 ' There's nobody particular on the front of 
 the boat now that the coolies are on the tow- 
 
56 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 path ; we'll go out there,' said the Old Man ; 
 ' it will keep the room clear of hair.' 
 
 ' Come along then.' Billy, who had made up 
 his mind to the inevitable, was recovering his 
 spirits a little. The Old Man sat on a stool. 
 Billy threw a towel round him in professional 
 style, tucked it in well at his customer's neck, 
 and struck a ' barbaric ' attitude. 
 
 ' Nice day, sir,' said he. ' Have you seen 
 that account in the London Fabricator ? A 
 saurian has been discovered with five golden 
 wings and six curly tails.' 
 
 ' Yes,' said the Old Man ; ' it's all a yarn, 
 and a sorry 'un, too. Oh ! don't pinch me,' 
 he cried suddenly. 
 
 ' Couldn't help it,' said Billy. ' You gave me 
 such a shock.' 
 
 The scissors snipped away merrily for a bit. 
 
 ' How's that ? ' Billy inquired after a few 
 moments. 
 
 •Take it all off,' said the Old Man. 'I 
 don't mind even if you make a convict of me. 
 It's quite warm up here, and I shan't have to 
 trouble you again so soon.' 
 
 ' All right,' replied Billy, and he made a 
 fresh start. Presently he remarked, ' It looks 
 rather patchy. Old Man. You shouldn't have 
 told me to cut it so short.' 
 
 ' Let's have a look.' said the victim. 
 
AN EVENT— OR TWO 57 
 
 Billy brought his shaving-glass. The Old 
 Man nearly fell off his chair with shock. Just 
 at that moment Uncle Sam came out on to 
 the prow. When he caught sight of the bar- 
 ber's customer he lost all self-control, and 
 burst into a fit of most provoking laughter. 
 It is true that the Old Man's head was very 
 closely cropped, and it looked as though it 
 were dotted with little white patches of stick- 
 ing-plaster where the scissors had cut specially 
 close. The humour of the situation began 
 to appeal also to Billy, and he and Uncle 
 Sam evinced a desire to get nearer the floor. 
 
 ' I writhe,' said Billy. ' Oh, Uncle, a band- 
 age to support my sides ! ' 
 
 ' Hold me down ! ' shrieked Uncle. ' Still the 
 palpitating undulations of my shaking frame ! ' 
 
 The faces of the Pirate Chief and the Prime 
 Minister — worthies to be introduced shortly — 
 were momentarily expanding in a more and 
 more comprehensive grin as the cause of this 
 merriment dawned on them ; but the Old 
 Man's good-tempered face was looking (for 
 him) quite ominous. 
 
 •Well, Billy,' said he, 'I didn't expect 
 you would be so graceless as to laugh after 
 such a feat. You've made me look impos- 
 sible. It will take weeks for the hair to grow 
 anything like even again.' 
 
58 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 ' Peccavi ! Peccavi ! ' sobbed Billy. 
 
 The Old Man picked up the glass and took 
 another survey. The ludicrous appearance he 
 presented then proved too much for him, and 
 he burst into a laugh. 
 
 ' An5^way, Billy's skill as a tonsorial artist 
 will go down to posterity,' said he, ' Uncle 
 Sam, let him try on you.' 
 
 ' Not I ; that's the limit in hair-cutting.' 
 
 The Old Man completed this little episode 
 in his history by inviting the first Chinese 
 barber he came across to shave his head in 
 Chinese style. He then pinned a false pigtail 
 into a Chinese hat, and with the blue Chinese 
 gownmadequite a respectable Chinese for a week 
 till his head resumed its normal appearance ! 
 
 One morning when Billy was enjoying a 
 breath of fresh air on the prow, having faith- 
 fully performed his daily duty of thoroughly 
 waking up the Old Man and Uncle Sam, and 
 bringing breakfast within reasonable bounds of 
 probability, he heard the voice of the Old Man 
 holding forth in strains of somewhat exalted 
 rhetoric for Uncle Sam's benefit. 
 
 The Old Man was saying : " Only intercourse 
 with foreign nations will give a real impetus to 
 progress in China by bringing into play that 
 competition and conflict of diverse minds 
 which always lead to advance. As an indi- 
 
AN EVENT— OR TWO 59 
 
 vidual left to himself must reach a point be- 
 yond which his genius cannot take him un- 
 aided, so a nation, having reached the climax 
 of its genius, must cease to advance unless 
 stimulated by outside influence. Perhaps this 
 is why God would not permit Babel to be built. 
 China, until within recent years, was inactive 
 through unhealthy national introspection ; hav- 
 ing begun with the intention of being self- 
 centred, she had come to lack both desire and 
 ability to be otherwise, and her jaded vitality 
 must needs have been strengthened from with- 
 out before she could realize, and much more 
 before she could use the vast power and re- 
 sources of nature that are hers. But that time 
 has gone by. China has accepted the dictum 
 that " Nations must not live to themselves," 
 and with eager, hopeful face she is renewing 
 her strength and her youth. What we need 
 to pray for is that the learning she gets from 
 the West may be thoroughly leavened with a 
 saving knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.' 
 
 That morning while the Three Men were at 
 breakfast they had an interesting talk about 
 the last hundred years of Chinese history. ' It 
 is more than a hundred years now since 
 Robert Morrison came to China,' said Uncle 
 Sam, thoughtfully toying with his bread, whila 
 Billy served one of Fu's special dishes. 
 
6o THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 ' Yes,' said the Old Man as he poured out 
 the tea, ' and great changes have happened 
 since then. In those days foreigners were not 
 at all welcome, and for many years not 
 a convert was brought in. Then one by one 
 they began to come in.' 
 
 ' Preaching the Gospel in a heathen land is 
 like seeking to plant seed in ground that has 
 long lain fallow,' Billy remarked. ' In those 
 early days there did not seem to be much re- 
 sult, but the missionaries were doing very 
 necessary work. They were breaking down 
 prejudice and winning the hearts of the people, 
 preparing the way for fruitful seasons.' 
 
 ' That is true,' said Uncle Sam, ' those fruit- 
 ful seasons have now begun. I read some- 
 where that since the Boxer troubles there has 
 been great progress. During eight years suc- 
 ceeding that troublous time there were more 
 Christians added to the Church than in the 
 eighty before it.' 
 
 ' There are good days in store for China,' 
 said the Old Man, ' and she will be a blessing 
 to the world if Christians do their duty 
 by her.' 
 
CHAPTER VII 
 
 THE PILOT, THE PIRATE CHIEF AND CO. 
 
 NOTHING has been said so far in this his- 
 tory about the crew of the Houseboat ; 
 and yet they naturally formed a very essential 
 part of the expedition. There were some rare 
 characters among them, and the story would 
 be incomplete without them. Politicians have 
 ere now likened the State to a ship, and so 
 perhaps it is not such a great stretch of the 
 imagination to liken our boat to a State. Well, 
 the Captain, of course, was the king, and his 
 wife was the queen. 
 
 The Captain was a mild little man with a 
 fishy eye and a few stray hairs on his upper 
 lip. He spent most of his time in the back of 
 the boat being lectured to by his wife. Some- 
 times he came over to the front, and would put 
 a hand to the oar, or more generally help 
 with the necessary shouting which always 
 accompanies a Chinese at his work. He would 
 smile urbanely when any of the Three went 
 out to see how the land lay, as much as to say, 
 6i 
 
62 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 ' Oh, yes, I'm here ; we shall not strike a rock 
 or founder at present.' 
 
 The Captain's right-hand man was the 
 Pilot, who had a sore ear, which Uncle Sam 
 plastered with zinc ointment. Uncle Sam 
 plastered everything with zinc ointment or 
 some equivalent. It was with the greatest 
 difficulty, when the boat was stove in at the 
 side, that he was prevented from patching it 
 up with his remedies. The Pilot was very 
 gracious to the Three Men. One day he 
 startled Billy by dipping a basin in some 
 wicked-looking brown fluid and holding it up 
 for his delectation, saying in big tones, ' Chah ' 
 (tea). Billy was not taking any, and so the Pilot 
 poured it down his own throat with great 
 gusto. He could shout as loudly as any when 
 there was work to be done. Next to him 
 came the Pirate Chief, tall, muscular, good- 
 looking, and harum-scarum. He, with his col- 
 league, a wizened, bristly-faced man, managed 
 the ' sweep.' How he could shout when the 
 oar was going ! And he did it in tune too. 
 • Ay O ! Ay O ! Ay Oa ! Ay O ! Ay 01 A 
 musical person may try this as 
 
 I d* : II d> : 1 I d' : 1,8 I d' : 1 I 
 
 in any key he pleases. He must put in a 
 ground bass of ' Ugh ! Ugh ! Ugh ! ' upon a 
 
THE PIRATE CHIEF AND CO 63 
 
 note gravitating somewhere about the legion 
 of the lower ' do' for the rest of the oarsmen, 
 and then he will have some, though imperfect, 
 idea of the music a Chinese puts into his work. 
 The greatest success at the ' ugh ' business 
 was the ' Chancellor of the Exchequer,' as the 
 Old Man called one of the men for no reason 
 at all except perhaps that it fitted him less 
 than any other possible name. He was one of 
 twins, the other of whom the Old Man called 
 the ' Home Secretary ' for equally strong 
 reasons. It was inspiring to watch these two 
 at the oar, grunting and pulling and looking 
 as solemn as monkeys stealing nuts ; especi- 
 ally if they were being ably backed up by the 
 ' Prime Minister,' so called because as cook 
 he ministered to the prime necessities of the 
 crew. The Prime Minister was a good second 
 at shouting. He was most happy, however, 
 when he was washing rice in dirty water, and 
 otherwise making provision for the men. He 
 has been known to dip his ladle into boiling 
 soup and drink it at such a heat as would 
 have dried any Westerner's face until it was 
 as leathery as his own ! This completes the 
 list of the boat's officers. 
 
 When it was not possible for the men to be 
 towing on shore, they came on the boat to 
 the oars, and then the shouting was at its best. 
 
64 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 Lustily did the Pirate Chief and the Prime 
 Minister sing their ' Ay O,' and grunt the 
 ground bass ' Ugh,' for they had upwjirds of a 
 dozen men to help them. 
 
 Suddenly the Chancellor of the Exchequer 
 stops shouting. The sail is filled with wind, 
 and needs his attention as the boat bends 
 forward and plunges ahead. The rowers sit 
 down and rest, much to their gratification, but 
 they use every cry they know to persuade the 
 wind to follow. ' Who illy ! ' they sing in 
 shrill tones. There is poetry in the rushing 
 wind, and their free, open voices ; and a song 
 seemed to Billy the only proper way of describ- 
 ing the effect. 
 
 SONG FOR CHINESE BOATMEN PLYING ON THE 
 YANG-TSE KIANG 
 
 Who illy ! Who illy ! Where is the wind ? 
 
 Who illy I Who illy ! Coming behind : 
 
 Call him, boys, bawl him, boys, into the sail ; 
 
 And keep to the oars tUl he answers your hail. 
 
 And 'Whoa, whoa, who illy, whoa,' 
 
 Gaily we sing to the ancient ring 
 
 That the Yang-tse has heard for ever. 
 
 Where were our work if the shouting were stopt f 
 Where were our sail if the wind softly dropt ? 
 Wind for the sail and a song for our lips. 
 Thus up the river our boat bravely slips j 
 And ' Whoa, whoa, who illy, whoa ' 
 Lightly we sing, to the ancient ring 
 That the Yangtse has heard for everi 
 
THE PIRATE CHIEF AND CO. 65 
 
 Call for the genii that work on the river, 
 
 Shout till the spirits of evU aU shiver. 
 
 Look to our gods, beat the drum and the gong, 
 
 The snapping of crackers all going strong. 
 
 And 'Whoa, whoa, who illy whoa.' 
 
 Fantastic I sing to the ancient ring 
 
 That the Yang-tse has heard for ever. 
 
 Let be the foreigner ; see how he stares 1 
 We be Celestials all, none of us cares. 
 Shrilly as mates of the wind whistle we. 
 Into our sheeting decoy'd he may be. 
 And 'Whoa, whoa, who illy, whoa' 
 Freely we sing to the ancient ring 
 That the Yang-tse has heard for ever. 
 
 One of the most important branches of 
 knowledge in river traffic is that of shouting ! 
 There is shouting for tracking, shouting for 
 rowing, and various calls addressed to the 
 wind when the sail is up. Two long rows of 
 men, standing one on either side, will be rowing 
 and grumbling a monotone. 
 
 But with all his little foibles John Chinaman 
 is a good worker. It was a sight that the Old 
 Man often wished he could photograph to see 
 the coolies on shore at the ropes. The rhythmic 
 motion of their bodies, as they swayed on 
 their way to the shouting of the leader, kept 
 them pulling all together. On level ground 
 they went easily with a subdued ' Ah, Ah, Ah,' 
 running along their lines ; but if the rope 
 was caught in a rock, ' Rub-dubba ' went the 
 drum from the boat. 'Oh ay ! ' sang the 
 
 5 
 
66 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 Pirate Chief, our Robinson Crusoe, and utterly 
 ignorant of the delight his appearance gave 
 to the Three by its resemblance to Defoe's im- 
 mortal adventurer, rushed forward, released 
 the rope, and on went the procession. If a 
 difficult climb came, the song would alter. 
 ' Chusi, chusi,' shouted the leader, and all would 
 take up the cry. ' Chusi, chusi,' goes along 
 the lines, and the difficult climb is half over 
 before some have realized its existence. There 
 is no doubt John Chinaman's shouting helps 
 him greatly at his work, and there is method 
 in it too ; for his cries and shouts are as 
 various as the occasions which call them forth, 
 and are always expressive of the matter in 
 hand. For instance ' Chusi ' uttered in quick, 
 sharp tones indicates that a rush is the most 
 suitable method of procedure for the occasion, 
 while the subdued ' Ah ' means 
 
 A steady, solid pace as we hang upon the trace 
 Is the step, boys, to carry us through. 
 
 The movements of the crew were very in- 
 teresting to beginners in Chinese life to wit- 
 ness. When the boat stopped for any length 
 of time it was generally esteemed an auspicious 
 opportunity for a toilet. The observer then 
 might catch sight of a coolie seated, like Ligea, 
 upon a rock combing his locks. Many of them 
 have fine heads of hair, and from a back view 
 
THE PIRATE CHIEF AND CO. 67 
 
 might be taken for an advertisement of a ' hair 
 restorer,' but for their picturesque and by no 
 means immaculate costume. 
 
 John Chinaman never works hard unless it 
 is absolutely impossible to avoid doing so, or 
 possible to get something for himself out of it. 
 The Old Man and Billy succeeded one after- 
 noon in making a Chinese labour tremendously 
 on a totally unprofitable piece of work ; but it 
 was because he wanted them to do him a good 
 turn. The two friends, with that inane tendency 
 of Englishmen to work hard at nothing, were 
 engaged in a spirited match as to who could 
 hurl a large boulder the farthest, when the man 
 in question came up and began making various 
 signs, coughing and pointing to his head. 
 
 ' I fancy there is something the matter with 
 him,' said the Old Man, as he braced himself 
 for a mighty hurl, like Apollo huding the quoit. 
 
 ' I think so,' said Billy ; ' let's make him 
 work.' And he made signs to the Chinese to 
 try his hand at hurling. 
 
 His Chingship at once laid hold of the boul- 
 der with much grinning, and hurled, but fell 
 far short of the exploits of the two — possibly 
 because his knowledge of human nature led 
 him to judge that such a concession to their 
 self-esteem might help his cause. 
 
 ' It's clear he wants us to do something for 
 
68 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 him,' said Billy, ' or he wouldn't laboiir like 
 this.' When the labour was over they en- 
 deavoured to find out what was the matter 
 with him, and gathered that he had the tooth- 
 ache. They took him back to the boat and 
 applied some menthol, but finding this did 
 not satisfy him they handed him over to Uncle 
 Sam, who had a perfect genius for finding out 
 ailments simply from dumb show. 
 
 Uncle soon discovered that the man had a 
 very decayed tooth. 
 
 ' You fellows keep off the boat for a bit,' 
 said he, ' and I'll see what I can do.' So he and 
 his patient retired into private life for a while. 
 
 Billy and the Old Man stood by the shore 
 discussing the beauty of the evening. 
 
 ' What glorious sunsets we get here. Old 
 Man,' exclaimed Billy. ' How intensely vivid 
 everything is in the light ! I think if Words- 
 worth had come to China he would have been 
 inclined to say he had found 
 
 The gleam. 
 The light that never was on sea or land. 
 The consecration and the poet's dream.' 
 
 They were facing the river. At their backs 
 the shore sloped gently up to a hilly woodland. 
 Opposite, on the other bank, great cliffs arose. 
 To their left in the distance they could see the 
 last of the Ichang gorges, while to their right 
 
THE PIRATE CHIEF AND CO. 69 
 
 glowed the western sun on the broad flowing 
 Yang-tse. Full and beautiful the river glided, 
 with scarcely a ripple on its mighty breast. 
 
 ' What are you thinking of, Old Man ? ' 
 
 The Old Man repeated : 
 
 Like a river glorious is God's perfect peace : 
 Over all victorious in its bright increase. 
 Perfect, yet it floweth fuller every day, 
 Perfect, yet it groweth deeper all the way, 
 
 ' I felt that you were,' rejoined his com- 
 panion. ' Have you ever thought how dumb 
 and unsatisfying the earth's witness to God 
 is to those who do not know Him ? Look at 
 this mighty river and this favoured land. As 
 far as outward evidence of God is concerned 
 the Chinese are as well off as any nation. But 
 these things are valuable only to the man 
 who knows God. They tell us there is a God, 
 but they do not tell us Who He is : the conse- 
 quence is that if a man does not know the 
 true God he makes up a theory of his own as 
 to how the world and all things came to be.' 
 
 ' That is so,' replied the Old Man, ' and of 
 course, if you are making up theories you can 
 make as many as you like according to the 
 bent of your imagination.' 
 
 ' There goes Uncle Sam's patient,' said 
 Billy ; ' he is hugging his jaw. I wonder what 
 Uncle did to him.' 
 
CHAPTER VIII 
 
 THE ACCOUNT-KEEPING OF FU, AND OTHER 
 MATTERS 
 
 "\ 17" HEN the Old Man and Billy arrived 
 
 * * back at the boat they found Uncle Sam 
 the proud possessor of a very damaged Chinese 
 tooth. 
 
 ' Why, Uncle,' said Billy, ' I had no idea 
 you added dentistry to your other accom- 
 plishments.' 
 
 ' I havn't pulled many teeth,' said Uncle 
 Sam modestly, ' but the poor chap was in a 
 bad way, and it looked a fairly easy one to 
 deal with, so I took my courage in both hands 
 and just went for it, with very satisfactory 
 results. Before he left the man gave me such 
 a low bow that I thought he would never rise 
 again, and said a lot that I couldn't under- 
 stand. Fu, however, who was present, evi- 
 dently approved of his remarks. The patient 
 offered me a tip, which I did not take, so he 
 gave it to Fu instead.' 
 
 That night Mr. Beh, the head of the expedi- 
 
THE ACCOUNT-KEEPING OF FU 71 
 
 tion, paid them a promised visit. It was not 
 that the Old Man's partiality for quaint 
 combinations of costume — for example, the 
 Piccadilly hat, often tastefully matched with 
 a cardigan jacket and top boots — or Billy's 
 little idiosyncrasies, or Uncle Sam's partiality 
 for abnormal temperatures were the attrac- 
 tion. The fact of the matter was that Fu was 
 the object of his visit. The ' Great Servant ' 
 was in the desirable position, from his own 
 point of view, of having to spend the money 
 for Three Men who knew nothing of his lan- 
 guage, but who gratefully devoured everything 
 his accomplished cooking placed before them. 
 So Mr. Beh came to make up the accounts for 
 them. 
 
 ' Hullo, boys ! how are you getting on ? ' 
 came the genial voice as their visitor stepped 
 into the Houseboat. 
 
 ' Just fine ! ' This from Uncle Sam. 
 
 • Ripping ! ' said the Old Man. 
 
 ' Having a gorgeous time ! ' Billy chimed in. 
 
 ' Does Fu give you enough to eat ? ' asked 
 Mr. Beh. 
 
 ' See how emaciated we look ! ' Billy's tones 
 were pitiful. ' I'm getting quite anxious 
 about the Old Man ; he's getting so weak that 
 we have to help him to rise, especially after 
 meals.' 
 
72 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 ' Put the stopper on the Young 'Un, please, 
 Uncle,' implored the Old Man. 
 
 ' It's certainly satisfactory to see you all 
 looking so well,' laughed Mr. Beh. 
 
 ' We'll call Fu,' said Uncle, ' then perhaps 
 when you've finished with him you'll answer 
 one or two questions.' 
 
 ' I'll try,' Mr. Beh responded. 
 
 ' Da si Fu,' shouted Uncle through the 
 cracks in the boat. 
 
 ' Sir,' said Fu. 
 
 Fu was polite, and came through the parti- 
 tion, uncoiling his pigtail as he came. (It is 
 bad manners for a Chinese servant to come 
 before his master with his queue wound round 
 his head.) Fu then gave Mr. Beh a Chinese 
 bow, and Mr. Beh rose, and responded appro- 
 priately. They then went rapidly together into 
 a world where the Three Men could not follow 
 them, talking a vast amount of Chinese and 
 examining Fu's housekeeping accounts together. 
 
 At length they were finished. Fu gathered 
 up his account-book and bowed himself out of 
 the room. 
 
 ' I'm very pleased with Fu's accounts,' said 
 Mr. Beh ; ' he is doing things very well. He 
 has spent less than I expected.' 
 
 ' That's satisfactory,' remarked Billy ; ' he's 
 a Christian, you know.' 
 
THE ACCOUNT-KEEPING OF FU 73 
 
 ' It will be interesting to see proofs of the 
 reality of native Christianity,' said the Old 
 Man. ' Those who are not friendly to Mis- 
 sions often represent converts as very slack. I 
 remember reading some words written by an 
 Attach^ at Peking. The impression his words 
 left on my mind was that he considered the 
 Christians were attracted by the thought of 
 what they could get . He said, ' ' The people have 
 in some instances shown a sort of limp willing- 
 ness, not altogether unconnected with better 
 wages, to embrace its tenets." ' 
 
 ' No one,' said Mr. Beh, ' who really loved 
 our Lord would put it exactly like that, I 
 think ; because they would inquire first and 
 then discover that such a thing is very rare. 
 Of course,' he went on, ' you have to deal with 
 human nature as you find it. Our Lord did 
 not scruple to rebuke the people who followed 
 Him from material motives. I myself have 
 told people over and over again that until 
 they are able to understand the fact that 
 the only true motive for seeking baptism is 
 such as possessed the Philippian gaoler, for 
 instance, they would not get any benefit from 
 thus professing their belief in Christ. That 
 Attache's words have a certain amount of 
 truth in them ; but fancy if one said that all 
 Attaches and diplomatists are a bad lot be- 
 
74 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 cause sometimes one fails to maintain the high 
 standard of integrity that they all regard as 
 their ideal ! If sometimes a hypocrite succeeds 
 in deceiving the missionary and is baptized, we 
 shall not do our cause any good by pretending 
 that it never happens. But such cases are 
 rare,' he said, ' because we are all as careful 
 as we know how to be.' 
 
 ' Can you not tell us an instance of the 
 other kind ? ' asked Uncle Sam. 
 
 ' Do ! ' said they all. 
 
 ' Yes ; I will tell you of one man whose 
 story, by the way, is true of many others. 
 One day the colporteur who was working with 
 me came back to the city and said to me, 
 " First-born, I met a man to-day while I was 
 at Cleanwater River who was very interested 
 in Christianity. He bought several books, and 
 said that he had at last found a religion with 
 reason in it." It's difficult,' went on Mr. Beh, 
 ' to make you realize how the evangelist put it. 
 What he said was that the man said he had 
 found a religion with religion in it. 
 
 ' ' ' Well," said I, ' ' what did you say to him ? " 
 
 ' " We discoursed for a long time," said he, 
 " and then I invited him to come and see you." 
 
 ' The man came. A nice, fresh-faced, well- 
 to-do countryman he looked. We had quite 
 a long talk, and he asked many questions which 
 
THE ACCOUNT-KEEPING OF FU 75 
 
 proved that he had been reading the books he 
 bought. He said he wanted to be a Christian, 
 so I asked him if he would eome to our classes 
 and learn. These classes were held in the 
 evening in order to suit such catechumens as 
 lived in the city. He said it was not possible 
 to come in the evening, because he lived too 
 far away ; would I fix another time ? We 
 finally arranged that on every market day 
 in that city, which meant every other day, he 
 should come in at about twelve noon, and I 
 would be there to help him to learn. 
 
 ' For several weeks he came regularly, and 
 we used to sit under the verandah and study 
 the Word of God for about half an hour. 
 Sometimes he had so many questions to ask 
 that the time was gone before they were an- 
 swered. Every Sunday he used to come to 
 church, a distance of about seven miles. He 
 became quite keen, and asked me to go to his 
 house and teach his mother and brothers, 
 saying they were all willing for me to go. I 
 went. 
 
 ' You know, I daresay, that Chinese house- 
 holds are not like English ones. Married sons 
 do not leave the old people if there is room in 
 the old home for them ; that would be un- 
 filial. In this house the old mother was living 
 with her three sons and their wives, and, of 
 
76 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 course, several children. They were a very 
 happy family out in the country. 
 
 ' I had the privilege of teaching them all 
 for about three hours. Then they put their 
 best room at my disposal for the night, and 
 treated me in a most hospitable manner. 
 
 ' That man was baptized afterwards, and 
 I eventually discovered that he used to get 
 a supply of books and go out on preaching 
 tours on his own account. The thing to 
 notice is that he was thoroughly keen about 
 the Gospel, and was not seeking for anything 
 for himself. I gave him nothing except the 
 instruction, although he gave me presents, 
 and entertained me at his house ; and also 
 in his own time and at his own cost used to 
 go out and preach Christ to his heathen 
 countrymen.' 
 
 ' Good,' said his companions when Mr. 
 Beh had finished. ' That's the sort of thing 
 we want the people at home to hear.' 
 
 ' It is easy,' said Mr. Beh, ' to answer over 
 and over again those who hint that missionary 
 work is not good or fruitful. It is cheering to 
 realize that all the best critics see and acknow- 
 ledge its benefits, and for one who may be 
 indifferent or unjust in criticism you wiU find 
 three who are otherwise. Quite a large number 
 of the Chinese gentry and mandarins are also 
 
THE ACCOUNT-KEEPING OF FU 77 
 
 friendly. Chang Chih-tung gave a thousand 
 taels to the Society for the Diffusion of Christian 
 and General Literature among the Chinese in 
 1894. One Mandarin in an out-of-the-way 
 city told a man who was accused of a serious 
 crime and who had said he was a Christian in 
 order that he might be let off, ' ' You are not 
 a member of the Christian Church, for the 
 Church teaches men to be good, and would 
 never have such men as you for members." 
 He then ordered him to be thrashed.' 
 
 ' I should imagine,' said Billy, ' that every 
 Mandarin is not so minded. Perhaps some, 
 when they hear such things, instead of treating 
 the man as an impostor, say, " Yes, this is the 
 sort of thing you Church people do." ' 
 
 ' I fear this thing does happen sometimes,' 
 said Mr. Beh ; ' where the bad logic comes in 
 of course is in giving the discredit to Chris- 
 tianity instead of to a sharp-witted rascal 
 who tries to take advantage of the courtesy 
 which many mandarins are always ready to 
 show to the foreign missionary. Fortunately 
 nowadays very few mandarins are so simple 
 as to be taken in by such tricks.' 
 
CHAPTER IX 
 
 CHRYSANTHEMUMS AND CUSTOMS 
 
 ' /'~*AN you tell us if the Chinese are great 
 ^^-^ gardeners ? ' inquired Uncle Sam. ' Are 
 they fond of flowers ? ' 
 
 ' I remember,' said Mr. Beh, in a reminiscent 
 tone of voice, ' a delightful experience I had 
 on one occasion. In the City of Virtue 
 (Teh Yang), where I once lived, there was a 
 friendly gentleman who had a very fine flower 
 garden in which he took a great pride. 
 One afternoon, in company with the military 
 mandarin, a mutual friend, I paid him a 
 visit. It was understood that he was re- 
 ceiving various friends that day to admire his 
 chrysanthemums. It was about five o'clock 
 when we arrived. A servant showed us through 
 a pleasant courtyard. There was a large stone 
 tank in it containing fish, and at the comers 
 of the court stood large urns filled with flowers. 
 There were magnolias and azaleas, cocks- 
 combs and hen's-egg flowers, and it looked quite 
 78 
 
CHRYSANTHEMUMS AND CUSTOMS 79 
 
 a different sort of garden from those we have 
 at home. The servant led us through, and 
 the gentleman met us outside his guest-hall. 
 
 ' " We have come to see your flowers," 
 said my friend, Mr. Chou. 
 
 '"You overwhelm me," said our host; 
 " they are a poor show. I'm afraid you won't 
 think them worth a visit ; but come and have 
 some tea." We went in and he gave us 
 delicious Chinese tea of a delicate flavour, 
 almost colourless. On the surface a small 
 white flower was floating, and it was a most 
 fragrant beverage. No wonder the Chinese 
 say it spoils three good things to put sugar and 
 milk in such tea. We sat and chatted and 
 admired the pictures on the walls, and some 
 of the guests commented on the skill of the 
 artists, pointing out various excellencies, and 
 of course remaining politely silent if they saw 
 any blemishes. The pictures were of birds 
 and flowers in water colours, very interesting 
 to look at, but quaint from an English point 
 of view. Chinese gentlemen admire pictures 
 and regard painting as a graceful accomplish- 
 ment. They are also fond of music and poetry 
 according to Chinese ideals, and talk quite 
 enthusiastically and appreciatively about 
 them. 
 
 'There were two or three other gentlemen 
 
8o THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 there, and presently our host led us out to 
 the chrysanthemum garden. Its appearance 
 was somewhat different from that of an English 
 garden. The flowers were planted in rows in 
 the open air and carefully tied to sticks. 
 They grew as much as five and six feet in 
 height ; some plants held a single flower which 
 had grown to large proportions, others had 
 several blossoms on one stem. There were 
 many colours and many varieties, all of which 
 had special names as in England. Paths 
 had been made between the various rows of 
 flowers, that one might walk up and down and 
 examine them.' 
 
 ' Are the Chinese good gardeners ? ' asked 
 Billy. 
 
 ' Very good,' said Mr. Beh. ' Some people 
 who know them say they are the best market 
 gardeners in the world ; but such a remark 
 is liable to be misunderstood. Their methods 
 are those that have been in vogue in China 
 for centuries, and are not what gardeners in 
 England would call scientific' 
 
 There was silence for a few moments, then 
 Mr. Beh went on : ' Paying calls in China 
 is most interesting and gives one good oppor- 
 tunities of saying a word for the Master. 
 I remember on one occasion calling on the 
 mandarin of Hanchow. He was quite a 
 
CHRYSANTHEMUMS AND CUSTOMS 8i 
 
 courteous gentleman, a native of Canton. 
 His accent was rather difficult to understand, 
 as he spoke down-river Mandarin. He had 
 called to see me in full dress when I was 
 in the city. This was a great compliment, 
 and I returned his call in the same way as 
 far as I was able. Things seem to us to be 
 done in rather a topsy-turvy way in China. 
 For instance, this mandarin kept his hat on 
 when he came in to see me. In China when 
 you put on your dress clothes you wear your 
 shoes with the thickest soles instead of the 
 thinnest. Then the tea is often drunk to 
 denote your departure rather than your 
 coming. 
 
 ' Mine was a polite call, and I had no affairs 
 to discuss, so we just talked of anything and 
 everything. I had a special presentation copy of 
 the New Testament in Wenli (that is the classical 
 language) to present to him, and this gave me 
 a good opportunity to talk about our Lord 
 Jesus Christ to him. He seemed interested, 
 and spoke of acquaintances who were very 
 much inclined to believe in Christianity. He 
 said he had friends who were out of office 
 because in their hearts they were Christians 
 and could not therefore bring themselves to 
 worship idols, as every mandarin must if he 
 would not stir the people to riot.' 
 6 
 
82 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 ' What do you mean ? ' asked the Old Man. 
 
 ' In time of drought or heavy rain,' answered 
 Mr. Beh, ' the mandarin is expected to go to 
 the temple and worship in order to avert the 
 calamity. I have seen the mandarin of Mien- 
 chow going morning after morning for a fort- 
 night, walking in front of his sedan-chair on 
 his way to the temple to pray for rain. They 
 shut the south gate in times of drought to 
 keep out the heat, and do strange things with 
 their idols sometimes. On one occasion they 
 put the idol in the sun that he might be 
 scorched and know how much they needed 
 rain. They shut the north gate when it rains 
 too much.' 
 
 ' It all seems very strange and foolish,' 
 said Billy. 
 
 ' Yes,' replied Mr. Beh. ' We must not, how- 
 ever, think that the Chinese are so stupid as 
 to believe that closing the gates can influence 
 the weather ; but they suppose that doing so 
 reminds the gods of their need of help. What- 
 ever their ideas are their action is equally 
 sad. It is the expression of their sense of a 
 great need and a revelation to us of their 
 ignorance of the only way to meet it. The 
 Chinese often perform great acts of self-denial 
 to appease their gods. I have known men 
 and women who have not tasted meat for 
 
CHRYSANTHEMUMS AND CUSTOMS 83 
 
 twenty years, because they hoped by fasting to 
 obtain salvation. Sometimes men will journey 
 up to mountain shrines to pray for rain. 
 
 ' It is a great joy to see the relief and happi- 
 ness on their faces when they learn about 
 the Lord Jesus Christ, and begin to understand 
 something of the reaUty of God's dealings with 
 men. They forget all about the old life, except 
 as a reminder of how unhappy they were before 
 Christ came into their hearts and lives ; and 
 they can truly say : ' ' He brought me up also 
 out of an horrible pit, out of the mire and clay, 
 and set my feet upon a rock, and established 
 my goings." ' 
 
CHAPTER X 
 
 ALL IN THE DAY'S WORK 
 
 THE day's work began very early for Billy. 
 Mention has already been made of the 
 fatal fondness entertained by the Old Man and 
 Uncle Sam for their beds. When breakfast 
 ought to have been well on the way, it was 
 most trying to see the Old Man and his relative 
 lying in lazy heaps. A bundle of bedclothes, a 
 black eyebrow and a snore were the only 
 indications of the Old Man's identity, while 
 Uncle Sam would be tucked away with no- 
 thing but the tip of his nose protruding to 
 catch the passing breeze, or the tickler sup- 
 plied gratis by Billy. This state of things did 
 not last long after Billy was up, and within 
 an hour and a half of his rising, breakfast 
 w;as generally ready. Meals were always 
 interesting. 
 
 Uncle Sam was the great tin-opener, and 
 
 how he ' opened ' a pound of butter on one 
 
 occasion will always be remembered. Uncle, 
 
 arming himself with the key, went bravely on 
 
 84 
 
ALL IN THE DAY'S WORK 85 
 
 until the tin snapped before he was half way 
 round. After a very ominous silence, he en- 
 deavoured to start afresh, but could not suc- 
 ceed in getting enough tin to wind into his 
 key. Meanwhile Uncle's fingers were begin- 
 ning to assume a decidedly greasy appearance. 
 At last in desperation he took a tin-opener, 
 and proceeded to work bravely round, the 
 butter simultaneously working through to 
 keep the knife well oiled. Uncle's face was 
 sufficiently terrible to behold. ' Suck ! suck ! ' 
 went the butter as the top part of the tin 
 hobbled up and down, while Uncle's fingers 
 got more slippery, and his plate held much 
 more than its usual supply of butter. At last, 
 with a fearful wrench, off came the top of the 
 tin, and Uncle Sam heaved a sigh of relief that 
 shook the table. The quietly indulgent smile 
 with which Fu received the butter when he 
 saw the state of Uncle Sam and his plate 
 brought Uncle's exploit to its climax. 
 
 After breakfast, on an ordinary day, business 
 begins. The Old Man perhaps announces that 
 he is going to wash a shirt, or Billy wants to 
 wash his socks. It is a sight to see them on a 
 washing exploit. Uncle Sam is easily first, and 
 launders beautifully. The Old Man in his 
 butcher's gown is splendid at making every- 
 thing wet. On one occasion he washed two 
 
86 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 towels and deliberately hung them with the 
 water dripping from them over Billy's bed, 
 and then looked injured because Billy strongly 
 objected. Uncle Sam spends a lot of his time 
 in writing letters. It is believed that he is in 
 correspondence with every one in America. 
 Chinese receives a certain amount of attention 
 from each of the Three Men, but a teacher is 
 sadly needed. The Old Man has already filled 
 more than one exercise book with strange 
 characters, and with a vocabulary of some six 
 words assumes at times a very Chinesey air. 
 A ramble is generally taken during the day. 
 
 ' Wouldn't the English railway companies 
 advertise this if they had it ? ' said the Old 
 Man on one occasion as they stood in a lovely 
 valley cloistered among exquisite hills, over 
 which the Three Men had just climbed. 
 
 ' It seems as though nature puts her choicest 
 pictures into a corner,' said Billy. 
 
 ' The Chinese don't seem to care an atom 
 for it all ; but they would miss it if they lost 
 it,' he added. 
 
 At other times they came suddenly on a 
 bewitching waterfall, singing sweet melody as 
 it dropped into the great mother Yang-tse. 
 
 Dinner is generally served by Fu at one 
 o'clock. Billy has been deputed to carve, 
 possibly because he is least skilful at the busi- 
 
ALL IN THE DAY'S WORK 87 
 
 ness. He felt distinctly injured on one occa- 
 sion when Fu served up hare in real Chinese 
 fashion, whole, and basted as shiny and hard 
 as an ebony board. The hare proved most 
 difficult to carve. It showed a great desire to 
 leap from the dish every time Billy began to 
 tickle it with his knife, and Uncle Sam, who 
 sat on his left was visibly uneasy as to what 
 might happen. Billy was getting hot and 
 excited, nor was his temper greatly improved 
 when, in response to his assertion that the 
 knife was shockingly blunt, the Old Man mut- 
 tered something about ' bad workmen finding 
 fault with their tools.' 
 
 ' Who can carve a thing like this ? ' he said ; 
 ' it's as hard as a brick.' And again he dug 
 his knife into the hare. The hare tilted and 
 the knife slipped over its side, shooting it 
 neatly on to the table in Uncle Sam's dii^cr 
 tion. The Old Man gave a wicked chuckle, 
 and Uncle Sam asked meekly if Billy wanted 
 any help. 
 
 ' No thank you,' said he in his most icy 
 tones ; ' I can do it myself.' 
 
 ' All right,' said Uncle in a voice that con- 
 tained oceans of incredulity. At length Billy 
 managed to break the hare up, and helped 
 his chuckling brethren and himself. 
 
 When the Boat stopped at about five in the 
 
88 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 afternoon the friends went on shore for a final 
 airing. They then came back and dressed for 
 dinner, which was a quiet, informal affair. It 
 was a sight worth seeing when the Old Man 
 prepared to dress. First of all he searched 
 for the rag with which Fu cleaned the lamps, 
 and wiped the dust off his top boots. These 
 top boots he seldom changed, although once 
 he exchanged them — when it rained — for a 
 pair of white cricket shoes ! Having cleaned 
 his boots, he lighted his pipe and sat down to 
 think for a few minutes. As a result of his 
 deliberations he proceeded with his toilet. 
 When this event was over the others breathed 
 a sigh of relief, because it enabled them also 
 to wash hands and face at the one available 
 basin. There were three basins on board, but 
 there was only room to use one, and so the 
 others rested. ' Resting ' reminds one again of 
 the leisurely Old Man. He has now assumed 
 his butcher's gown once more, and the top 
 boots, and is ' dressed for diimer.' How 
 reposeful he looks, seated in the easiest chair ! 
 There is just a slight current of expectation 
 underlying his calm countenance, but after a 
 meal that will disappear, and he will be at 
 peace with all the world. 
 
 Meanwhile Uncle Sam has been on the prow 
 acting ^sculapius to the coolies. Too much 
 
UNCLE SAM SALLIES FORTH TO DOCTOR WOUNDED COOLIES. 
 
ALL IN THE DAY'S WORK 89 
 
 cannot be said in praise of the way in which 
 Uncle sallies forth every night with the lantern 
 to doctor wounded coolies. These luckless 
 wights fall over rocks, cut their toes, bruise 
 their heels, graze their knees, and otherwise 
 injure themselves in their arduous work, and 
 are greatly eased by a little surgical attention. 
 Every night many a coolie spends a happier 
 and easier time than would have been his 
 without Uncle's kindly ministrations. The 
 coolies stand round, some lithe and graceful, 
 others burly and clumsy, but all poor men, dirty, 
 and wounded more or less. Great sores have 
 disappeared under Uncle's magic applications, 
 and perhaps his kindness to them has 
 awakened to a small degree in these rude 
 children of Nature a kindred feeling towards 
 one another. Billy, of course, during this 
 time has been watching his two friends and 
 thinking, or how could the above reminiscences 
 have been written ? 
 
CHAPTER XI 
 
 THE RAPIDS AND THE RIVER 
 
 ' TT THAT are those voices ? ' shouted Uncle 
 ^ ^ Sam one morning as he sat writing. 
 (The Old Man facetiously declares that Uncle 
 is trying to make fame as a man of letters. 
 There is no denying that his correspondence 
 justifies such a remark.) 
 
 ' Come and see ! ' shouted his two friends 
 in response to his inquiry. They were on the 
 prow of the boat enjoying a little pantomimic 
 conversation with the Cook and the Pirate 
 Chief when the said voices were first heard. 
 Uncle Sam quickly appeared. 
 
 A large freight junk manned by about fifty 
 coolies was coming down mid-stream at a 
 great rate, adding the speed produced by 
 several oars to that of the current. The Old 
 Man, who was a past master at the language 
 of gesture, with the help of one of the Three's 
 few Chinese words, 'Shahtsi?' (what?), in- 
 quired what they were carrying. 
 90 
 
THE RAPIDS AND THE RIVER 91 
 
 ' What have they on board ? Shahtsi ? ' 
 said he, and pointed towards the junk. 
 
 ' Me,' said the Cook. 
 
 ' You,' exclaimed the Old Man, ' nonsense, 
 you're here ! ' 
 
 ' Me, tsiu shI lo,' repeated the Cook still 
 more emphatically. 
 
 'Well, this beats all,' said the Old Man. 
 ' " Meat juice, you know," he says.' Then turn- 
 ing to the Cook again, ' But I don't know,' 
 said he. 
 
 The Cook nodded indulgently and repeated, 
 •Me.' 
 
 'I wonder what "me" is,' said the Old 
 Man. ' Fu,' shouted he, pointing in the direc- 
 tion of the boat, ' me, shahtsi ? ' Fu smiled 
 intelligently, and went to his store cupboard 
 and produced a few grains of rice. The Old 
 Man collapsed. ' They spell that " Mi " in the 
 books ; how can you be ready for things like 
 this ? ' 
 
 Meanwhile the junk was far down the river, 
 and the music of the rowers came floating up. 
 ' It's like a lesson in singing,' said Billy. 
 ' Strike up. Old Man,' and he struck the note, 
 'Aw.' The Old Man and Uncle Sam both 
 struck up, and soon they were voicing all 
 three notes, do, mi, sol, exactly like the coolies. 
 The Pirate Chief began to grin, and the Cook 
 
92 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 caught the infection and started a tune of his 
 own, something hke this : 
 
 I s : n I s : n I 8 : n,r I s : n I n,r : n I di : n,r I 
 I d, : r I n : - I 
 
 Then the coolies at the oars took it up, and 
 began ' Heh, heh, heh.' This seemed to throw 
 the Prime Minister into a frenzy, for he caught 
 hold of his ladle, and then he and the rest 
 started a sort of antiphonal duet as follows : 
 
 Cook , 
 
 Shah tsi heh. 
 
 Coolies : heh, heh. 
 
 Pull your oars. 
 
 heh, heh. 
 
 Up she goes. 
 
 heh, heh. 
 
 Demons lurk 
 
 heh, heh. 
 
 Underneath, 
 
 heh, heh. 
 
 Never fear. 
 
 heh, heh. 
 
 River god 
 
 heh, heh. 
 
 Comes to help. 
 
 heh, heh. 
 
 Then altogether on a great roystering ' heh' 
 they finished, some on * do,' and some on 'mi.' 
 
 The friends clapped their hands when the 
 coolies had finished, and the Old Man shouted 
 in good English, ' Well done, old Prime Minis- 
 ter ; you wave that ladle as expeditiously as 
 a first-class conductor his baton.' The Prime 
 Minister looked pleased, for although he could 
 not understand the Old Man's English, he 
 quite comprehended his appreciative manner. 
 
 ' What a jolly crew they are, aren't they ? ' 
 said Billy. 
 
THE RAPIDS AND THE RIVER 93 
 
 ' It's not right to say that the Chinese are 
 not musical,' Uncle Sam declared. ' They are, 
 only they have a style of their own.' 
 
 ' You know,' asserted the Old Man, ' these 
 men are quite capable of becoming Christians ; 
 and what good-tempered, happy Christians 
 they would be.' 
 
 ' They need it sorely,' said Billy, ' for their 
 happiness is the uncontrolled and irresponsible 
 jollity of very elementary natures. Christian- 
 ity would give them depth and responsibility 
 by making them realize they are not the sport 
 of demons.' 
 
 Just then the Pilot came to them, and with 
 his big voice uttered the single word, ' Tan,' 
 and pointed up the river. 
 
 ' Tan,' the Three Men had been instructed, 
 meant ' rapid ' and indicated that they were 
 to get off on shore. 
 
 Gradually the boat approached the foot of 
 the rapid. The sail was lowered, the coolies 
 all got into the sampan and made for the shore, 
 well provided with stout bamboo ropes. The 
 boat was then pulled towards the beach. 
 The Pirate Chief and the Pilot placed a huge 
 plank from the boat to the shore and the Three 
 Men were soon on the strand. 
 
 It was an open, desolate stretch of sand, with 
 layers of pebbles and pieces of rock scattered 
 
94 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 upon it. About two hundred feet from the 
 riverside a slight bank rose on which were a few 
 straggling huts. Quite a large number of people 
 were there, and the Three Men wondered what 
 they found to attract them. On a rock a pair of 
 eagles sat, sunning themselves and apparently 
 chatting amicably. In the distance a cuckoo 
 was calling. 
 
 Suddenly Billy said, ' Listen to that cuckoo ! 
 He varies his note; sometimes his call is a 
 major and sometimes a minor third.' 
 
 ' Perhaps there is more than one calling,' 
 remarked the Old Man. ' I've heard a cuckoo 
 in Somerset with a call of an interval of a 
 fourth.' 
 
 Then another bird attracted them. 
 
 ' I've never heard that note before.' The 
 Old Man was the speaker. 
 
 * Nor I,' Billy declared. 
 
 ' I've heard it in the States,' said Uncle Sam. 
 
 Subsequently they discovered that the 
 Chinese call this bird by a name which shows 
 that they regard it as a guide in planting 
 and reaping. 
 
 Over the river some gorgeous kingfishers 
 flashed to and fro, and every now and then a 
 fish jumped clean out of the water. 
 
 ' Look, boys ! ' suddenly said Billy, pointing 
 to where a backwater from the river shallowed 
 
THE RAPIDS AND THE RIVER 95 
 
 into a pebbly pool. They looked. Three 
 beautiful grey herons were each standing 
 meditatively on one leg and apparently finding 
 life a matter for complacent satisfaction. 
 
 The Three Men unconsciously drew nearer, 
 but they quickly found they had gone too 
 close, for the birds took fright and, spreading 
 their broad wings, were soon out of sight. 
 
 ' Why, the boat hasn't begun to move yet,' 
 said Billy. ' Let us go on and see what there 
 is above the rapid.' 
 
 For a wonder, neither the Old Man nor 
 Uncle Sam could think of any valid reasons 
 for suggesting anything else, so the Three 
 went up towards the huts. 
 
 On their way they passed the Captain's 
 wife and her two children. She smiled 
 patronizingly and the children peeped shyly 
 from behind her. 
 
 ' So the old lady evidently thought it wise 
 to disembark,' remarked Billy. 
 
 ' She seems to have put on her best clothes,' 
 said the Old Man. 
 
 The reader would find it hard to imagine 
 what the Captain's wife looked like. To begin 
 with her headdress. Her hair was gathered 
 up into a round knot at the back with the aid 
 of silver ornaments, and in front above her 
 forehead a silk band ornamented with silver 
 
96 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 was fastened. She wore a large dark-brown 
 silk gown reaching just above her knees. 
 It had evidently been put on not only over her 
 ordinary clothes but over two or three other 
 gowns as well, so that her figure was anything 
 but slender. A red pair of wadded gaiters 
 bound very tightly met her skirts at the knee. 
 Her ankles were wound about with blue braid, 
 and on her tiny feet she had a pretty pair of 
 embroidered shoes about four inches long. 
 Her children were dressed in clothes of a 
 similar cut but of more gorgeous colours, 
 and on their heads they wore pretty little 
 caps ornamented with silver images of Buddha. 
 As the Three Men passed they noticed that a 
 large number of the people who were gathered 
 on the shore had attached themselves to the 
 rope of the Houseboat, evidently to help to 
 haul it over the rapid. 
 
 Above the rapid, just beyond a little knoll 
 which hid the boat from view, was a delightful 
 stream purling softly into the Yang-tse. A 
 path ran beside it into the country beyond, 
 and along this path the Three Men went. 
 Half a mile farther they came upon a man 
 sitting on a bank fishing. 
 
 ' I wonder if he has caught anything,' 
 said Billy. 
 
 ' We'll see,' said the Old Man. 
 
THE RAPIDS AND THE RIVER 97 
 
 ' Good morning, Mr. Fisherman,' said Uncle 
 Sam in sound American tones. 
 
 The man smiled curiously, shook his head 
 and articulated, 'Ting puh tao,' which the Three 
 Men were destined often to hear before they 
 had been in China many months. It means 
 ' I cannot hear,' and is the polite Chinese 
 idiomatic way of saying you cannot under- 
 stand what a man says. 
 
 ' Have you caught anything ? ' shouted the 
 Old Man with slow emphasis. The Old Man 
 and his friends think that if they shout loudly 
 enough to split a man's ear-drum, and speak 
 very slowly, they will be understood. To do 
 them justice, it is wonderful how they are 
 understood between gestures and speech. 
 
 The fisherman again said, ' Ting puh tao.' 
 
 ' Shahtsi ? ' the Old Man inquired energeti- 
 cally. Just then the man hooked a fish and 
 rose from what the Three had thought was 
 the stool on which he was sitting. It turned 
 out to be a vessel with a lid, and into it he 
 popped the small carp he had caught, an addi- 
 tion to some already inside. 
 
 The man was very skilful, and caught two 
 or three fish while the friends stood there. 
 
 ' Do you know the time. Old Man ? ' said 
 Billy. 
 
 ' No ; what is it ? ' 
 
 7 
 
98 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HO USEBOA T 
 
 ' Half-past one.' 
 
 The Old Man was seized with a brilliant 
 idea. He chose the largest fishes and showed 
 the man a hundred cash. 
 
 ' I'll give you these for them,* said he. 
 The fisherman shook his head, so the old Man 
 added fifty more. The man counted the cash 
 at great speed, then, all smiles, he signified 
 his assent to the bargain. After a consider- 
 able amount of fumbling the Old Man produced 
 some string, on which he slung his fish, and 
 the Three Men went back to see what had 
 become of the Houseboat. 
 
CHAPTER XII 
 
 CHATS BY THE WAY 
 
 • TT 7"HAT is the Chinese idea of Creation, 
 
 V V and the beginning of things ? ' said 
 Uncle Sam one night to Mr. Beh after he had 
 finished examining Fu's accounts. 
 
 ' That's rather a long question, or, at least, 
 needs a long answer,' returned Mr. Beh. 
 
 ' I suppose,' remarked Billy, ' that every 
 nation which has advanced far enough intellec- 
 tually to realize that there must be a mind at 
 the back of the beginning of all things, if it 
 does not find the knowledge of the True God, 
 makes up a theory of its own.' 
 
 ' That is so, evidently,' said Mr. Beh, ' and 
 the Chinese have been thus far advanced for 
 millenniums. They have shown great ingenuity 
 in making up theories, and have not been 
 satisfied with only one. 
 
 ' What should you say is the most intel- 
 lectual of them ? ' asked the Old Man. 
 
 ' I should think that which we might call 
 the Yin and the Yang is the cleverest ; it 
 shows a considerable amount of right percep- 
 
 99 
 
loo THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HO VSEBOA T 
 
 tion as to man's condition and appears to be 
 a sincere attempt to meet its needs.' 
 
 ' What is it ? Do tell us,' they said. 
 
 ' Well,' replied Mr. Beh,' the Chinese say 
 that first of aU there was the profound Abyss, 
 or the Boundless. This after long ages was 
 contracted to the Great Boundary. This, 
 more than two million and several hundred 
 thousand years ago (the Chinese books tell you 
 the exact date) divided and became the Yin and 
 the Yang. By the Yin and the Yang is 
 meant Darkness and Light, or the female 
 and male principles in creation. After another 
 long period these two became four, and the four 
 became eight, and the eight sixteen, and the 
 sixteen thirty-two, then sixty-four, and so on, 
 and so everything has gone on duplicating 
 itself ever since.' 
 
 ' Why, it's like typhoid fever ! ' said Uncle 
 Sam. 
 
 The others laughed. 
 
 ' This doctrine,' went on Mr. Beh, ' is 
 contained in the Chinese Book of Changes, 
 which is supposed to be a trustworthy guide 
 concerning the doctrine, if you can only manage 
 to understand it.' 
 
 ' But how does the book explain it ? ' 
 
 ' I've read it,' said Mr. Beh, ' but must con- 
 fess that I'm not at all sure that I could see 
 
CHATS BY THE WAY loi 
 
 what it was driving at. As far, however, as I 
 can make it out, this is what it says. Every- 
 thing since the beginning has gone on dividing 
 and duphcating in the way I explained, and 
 men and women are all parts of this division. 
 The parts, however, have got out of gear, and 
 what we have to do is to find out our proper 
 places, and how we stand in relation to each 
 other, and all other portions of the universe. 
 If we can find this out we shall then be able to 
 live in accordance with the order of the uni- 
 verse, and all will be well.' 
 
 ' Isn't that what is meant by the Tao ? ' 
 inquired Billy. 
 
 ' Yes ; the Tao evidently often means " The 
 Order of the Universe " in Chinese literature,' 
 Mr. Beh replied. 
 
 ' That is all very interesting,' said Uncle 
 Sam. ' What we are to understand then is 
 that the Chinese saw that the world was very 
 disordered, and in an undesirable condition, 
 and that led them to invent this explanation 
 of a way to put things straight.' 
 
 ' It's aU untrue, of course,' said Billy, ' but 
 I think it does the Chinese mind credit as a 
 piece of imagination. 
 
 ' We should praise it as a fairy tale ; but as 
 an explanation of " how the heaven and earth 
 rose out of chaos " — ^how false ! ' 
 
102 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOA T 
 
 ' Necessarily false,' returned the Old Man, 
 ' because the true explanation lies outside 
 man's consciousness, and he cannot know it 
 until it is made known to him. He has to 
 receive it as a learner. " Man by searching 
 cannot find out God," and the explanations 
 that he offers are only figments of his brain.' 
 
 ' That is true,' said Mr. Beh ; ' and when 
 we contrast the Chinese account of the world 
 evolving from the great something, with the 
 Bible account of its creation by the Great 
 Some One, we see how much Christianity has 
 to offer the Chinese in this connexion.' 
 
 ' Advantage number one,' said Billy, ' letting 
 the Chinese know that God made him, and 
 that he is not the result of a blind process 
 dividing unconscious matter ; but that what- 
 ever part matter played in his production it 
 was at the instance of God, Who was working 
 His purpose out. Why, this idea of his about 
 each division fitting in properly to the others 
 is like a jig-saw puzzle, in which all the parts 
 are higgledy-piggledy, and need putting 
 straight.' 
 
 ' That theory,' the Old Man remarked, ' is 
 very interesting. Have they any others ? ' 
 
 ' They have one in which the world is said 
 to have been made by the first man, Panku,' 
 said Mr, Beh. ' Panku is represented on pic- 
 
CHATS BY THE WAY 103 
 
 tures as having a hammer and a chisel, with 
 which he knocked this world into shape. He 
 took eighteen thousand years to do it, and at 
 the end of that time he was absorbed into his 
 own creation. His head became the moun- 
 tains ; his beard the stars ; his four limbs 
 the four poles ; his veins the rivers ; the 
 muscles of his body the undulations of the 
 earth's surface. Every part of him became 
 identified with some part of his creation.' 
 
 ' When a man has right notions about God 
 as Creator, he has made considerable ad- 
 vance,' said Billy ; ' but to think of God simply 
 as our Maker does not satisfy us. Have the 
 Chinese anything in their religion which indi- 
 cates that they have felt the need of some 
 one who cares for them ? ' 
 
 ' Yes, I think so,' said Mr. Beh. ' I should 
 say that Chinese Buddhism contains much 
 that is an attempt to satisfy that yearning of 
 the human spirit. Omitofuh, the Buddha of 
 the Western heaven, is called the lord of in- 
 finite light, life and compassion, and is said 
 to have brought down another god, who 
 underwent various incarnations for the benefit 
 of men. The idea of this god has now so 
 completely changed in the minds of the people 
 that they all worship him under the form of a 
 woman, and call him the Goddess of Mercy, 
 
I04 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOA T 
 
 Kuanyin. Four characters, meaning " save 
 from trouble and sorrow," are often carved on 
 her tablets ; and the women go to her when 
 the griefs of Chinese womanhood seem too 
 heavy to bear. You may see stone tablets 
 along the road with the expressions, " I put 
 my trust in Buddha ; " or the Chinese form of 
 " Om mane Padme Hum," which means, " Hail, 
 Jewel in the Lotus," that is, " Hail, Buddha in 
 the Lotus," and pictures may be seen of 
 Buddha reposing contemplatively in the 
 bloom of that flower.' 
 
 ' The Chinese suppose that the Goddess of 
 Mercy cares for them, then? ' said the Old Man. 
 
 ' They do indeed,' replied Mr. Beh. ' Her 
 full name in Chinese, Kuan Shi Yin, means, 
 " Hearer of the world's voice," that is, of 
 course, the voice of prayer.' 
 
 ' They believe in prayer too ? ' asked Uncle 
 Sam. 
 
 ' Indeed, yes. Carved and put up every- 
 where you may see four characters which mean 
 " Prayer will assuredly be answered." Many 
 of the Chinese firmly believe that the Goddess 
 of Mercy answers prayer ; and they have 
 great faith in the efficacy of repeating the 
 name of Omitofuh. To repeat this mystic 
 name ten thousand times will admit a man 
 into paradise ; and the worshippers have little 
 
CHATS BY THE WAY 105 
 
 prayer registers to keep count of how many 
 times they say it.' 
 
 ' Truly they think they shall be heard for 
 their much speaking,' quoted Billy. 
 
 ' That's it,' exclaimed the Old Man. ' What 
 a privilege it is to be able to tell them of the 
 Name Which is above every name, through 
 Which their requests will always be heard.' 
 
 ' Yes,' said Mr. Beh, ' the dying thief found 
 his one prayer sufficient.' 
 
 ' Well, boys,' remarked BiUy, ' from what 
 Mr. Beh tells us, and what we have seen, I 
 should say there are four ways in which Chris- 
 tianity brings untold blessing to the Chinese.' 
 
 ' What are they ? ' inquired his friends. 
 
 ' You remember the other day when we 
 saw the ancestor worshippers,' replied Billy, 
 ' we felt how much they needed the com- 
 fort of the knowledge of the Saviour's Resur- 
 rection. What Mr. Beh has told us shows 
 us they need the truth about three other 
 things as well, and it seems to me that you 
 might express it like this : Christianity will 
 be a great blessing to the Chinese because it 
 will tell them, (i) the truth about Creation ; 
 (2) the truth about God's Love; (3) the truth 
 about Prayer ; (4) the truth about the Life 
 after Death — all of which questions they have 
 tried to answer for themselves and failed.' 
 
CHAPTER XIII 
 
 THE THREE GO ON SHORE 
 
 THE Three Men were standing on the prow 
 of the Houseboat watching the cooHes 
 slowly haul her up the river. She was ap- 
 proaching the city of Wanhsien. The crew 
 were chanting their favourite ' Ah ! ah ! ah ! ' 
 The Pilot was wielding his long punting-pole 
 from side to side as he guided the boat along. 
 He looked like a quaintly dressed drum-major 
 beating time to the Prime Minister and the 
 Pirate Chief, who were surpassing themselves 
 to-day in a lusty duet in order to show the 
 importance of the city they were approaching. 
 
 The Three were feeling rather excited. The 
 boat was arriving in good time, and would 
 not leave that day ; and they were looking 
 forward to visiting some friends at the mis- 
 sion-house in the city. 
 
 The Old Man had discarded his butcher's 
 gown and the top boots, and had supplied 
 the Piccadilly hat with companions in the way 
 
 io6 
 
COOLIES YELLING AS THKY HURRIED HITHER AND THITHER. 
 
THE THREE GO ON SHORE 107 
 
 of a smart lounge suit and boots to match ; an 
 example Billy and Uncle Sam followed. 
 
 It must be admitted that the Old Man and 
 Billy felt rather sorrowful about their beards, 
 and each gave the other an opportunity to 
 suggest shaving, but remembering their vow 
 neither could summon up courage ; so they 
 endeavoured to make their unwelcome beards 
 as fashionable as possible. These two friends 
 thought that Uncle Sam was a little inclined 
 to ■ put on side ' at this juncture, and seemed 
 to nurse his spotless chin with more than 
 necessary affection. 
 
 Numbers of vessels were lying in the river 
 when they drew to shore, and it took the 
 Captain quite a long time to decide where he 
 would have the Houseboat anchored. The air 
 was alive with sounds. Boatmen were shouting, 
 and clashing their punting-poles ; boats were 
 dashing into one another ; and coolies were 
 yelling as they hurried hither and thither with 
 shoulder-loads, paying small heed as to whether 
 they struck and pushed pedestrians with their 
 carrying-poles, or what they knocked over in 
 their career, so long as they could keep up 
 their jog-trot with the load. Certainly it is 
 not easy when you are moving with the im- 
 petus of eighty pounds on your shoulder to 
 stop just because of a sudden obstruction. 
 
io8 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOA T 
 
 The Three Men escaped from the Boat as soon 
 as they could, and joined the crowd on shore. 
 
 The city of Wanhsien is quite a long way 
 from the river, and the Three Men had a long 
 walk before they arrived at the mission-house. 
 The many interesting things they saw on the 
 road delayed the journey still more. 
 
 The sun was still on the first half of his 
 downward journey, and the day was bright 
 and fair. Said the Old Man, ' We must walk 
 slowly or we shall get dreadfully warm ; the 
 sun is very hot to-day.' 
 
 This little remark from the Old Man proved 
 quite unnecessary. Fu went with them to show 
 them the way, and at a most dignified pace; 
 so much so that no one desired to bid him go 
 slowly. It is not proper for Chinese teachers 
 to rush along at a breakneck speed, so per- 
 haps Fu thought foreign teachers should be 
 likewise circumspect. For a long distance 
 they walked by the bank of a tributary river, 
 and over quaint bridges that looked as though 
 they had suddenly jumped out of a willow- 
 tree plate. Then, through what seemed many 
 back alleys, or the manufacturing parts of the 
 town, where a great business in bamboo articles 
 was being carried on. In one such alley a 
 little girl with a pretty face was playing 
 shuttlecock. She had no battledore, but in- 
 
THE THREE GO ON SHORE 109 
 
 stead used her feet most cleverly, and kept 
 the shuttlecock going for quite a long time. 
 She struck the shuttlecock with the inside of 
 her foot, below her ankle. How she did it 
 with her small feet was a wonder. In another 
 lane a young fellow was playing diabolo. He 
 was very skilful and made a tremendous hum- 
 ming as the diabolo whirled round the string, 
 and then bounded for a great height into the air. 
 The people gazed as the Three Men passed 
 by with only a placid interest ; foreigners 
 were living amongst them, and so they were 
 not surprised by the appearance of a few more. 
 At last the travellers arrived at the house of 
 Mr. Tai ' and his wife. Mr. Tai was a very 
 energetic man, and a perfect master of method, 
 the result being that he did a vast amount of 
 work, and has left his monument in the shape 
 of an organized Church. The Three were 
 charmed by his own and his kind wife's re- 
 ception of them, and learned many things under 
 their hospitable roof before they left. It was 
 with great sadness that the Three Men heard 
 a few years later of the death of Mr. Tai in 
 the midst of his devoted and successful labours. 
 When he died there were out-stations, day 
 schools, and one hundred communicants to 
 be cared for. 
 
 « The late Rev. W. C. Taylor of the CJ.M. 
 
no THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 ' Wanhsien/ said Mr. Tai in the course of 
 conversation, " is one of the most thickly 
 populated cities in Szechwan, and a very 
 great centre in the diocese. It is the first 
 important place on the Upper Yang-tse and 
 is an open port. (An open port in China 
 is one where foreigners may come in and 
 trade freely.) 
 
 ' You will probably meet Bishop Cassels ' 
 on his way down,' remarked Mr. Tai ; ' he is 
 on his way home for furlough.' 
 
 ' How splendid ! ' exclaimed the Three Men. 
 ' We do so rhuch want to meet him.' 
 
 ' I think,' said Billy to Mr. Tai, ' that we 
 should all be very glad if you would tell us 
 something about the diocese.' 
 
 ' I will, with pleasure,' replied their host. 
 ' The diocese of Western China, to be exact, 
 embraces such parts of the provinces of 
 Szechwan and Kueicheo as lie to the north 
 of the 28th parallel of latitude ; but, as the 
 Bishop himself puts it, "speaking generally, 
 it is co-extensive with the Province of Szech- 
 wan. In other words, it extends from the 
 frontiers of Tibet and Kokonor on the west, 
 to the great mountain barrier on the east, 
 through which the Yang-tse cuts its way into 
 Central China, forming its world-renowned 
 « The Right Rev, W. W. Cassels. 
 
THE THREE GO ON SHORE m 
 
 gorges ; and it covers altogether an area of 
 more than 166,000 square miles." 
 
 ' You all know,' he went on, " that the 
 province of Szechwan is not only one of the 
 richest regions in China but even of the world. 
 The population is thought to be between 
 fifty and seventy millions. Of course there 
 are other missionary societies working there 
 besides the China Inland Mission, which 
 occupies the eastern part, and the Church Mis- 
 sionary Society, which works in the western 
 part of the diocese.' 
 
 ' When did the bishop first come out ?' 
 said Billy. 
 
 ' He came from the parish of All Saints,' 
 South Lambeth, in 1885, and first visited 
 Szechwan in 1886. Other missionaries followed, 
 all, including the bishop, in connexion with the 
 China Inland Mission. In 1892 the Church 
 Missionary Society sent a band of workers 
 into this region. 
 
 ' The diocese was formed in 1895, and then 
 Mr. Cassels was made bishop.' 
 
 ' Did you have any difficult times in those 
 early days ? ' asked the Old Man. 
 
 ' Yes,' replied Mr. Tai ; ' it was difficult even 
 to rent houses from which to begin our work. 
 It is always so when new work is started. 
 Much time must be spent in breaking up the 
 
112 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 fallow ground, disarming prejudice and winning 
 the confidence of the people. But now there 
 are twenty-five stations where missionaries live, 
 and a hundred out-stations where regular 
 services are conducted. There are two thou- 
 sand communicants, one thousand three hun- 
 dred catechumens, and nearly three thousand 
 people receiving elementary instruction as 
 hearers.' 
 
 ' Is much being done amongst the boys and 
 girls ? ' inquired Billy. 
 
 ' Yes ; Elementary Schools have been started 
 in nearly every station and in many out- 
 stations, and Secondary Schools for boys 
 and girls also exist in several of the large 
 cities.' 
 
 ' This is a very important part of the work, 
 is it not ? ' said the Old Man. 
 
 ' Yes, indeed,' answered Mr. Tai. ' It is 
 impossible to over-estimate its value. A 
 large number of the children come from 
 heathen homes and are a great means of 
 carrying accounts of us and our methods 
 amongst the people. Would you care to 
 come and see our schools ? ' 
 
CHAPTER XIV 
 
 SHOCK-HEADED PETER 
 
 MR. TAI'S suggestion was hailed with 
 dehght. 
 
 ' Oh yes ! ' exclaimed all Three Men in one 
 breath. 
 
 ' Come along then,' said Mr. Tai; ' we have 
 just time before our evening meal.' 
 
 ' How funny,' remarked Billy. ' Children 
 in England would have gone home long ago. 
 Why, it's nearly six o'clock by my watch.' 
 
 ' Wrong, as usual,' retorted the Old Man. 
 ' It's a minute past.' 
 
 ' You're both wrong by our time here,' 
 laughed Mr. Tai. ' You see, your continual 
 movement westward makes it difficult for 
 you to keep track of the change. It is half- 
 past five now by our Western Chinese clocks. 
 The school will not close, however, till towards 
 dusk. In China the children have always worked 
 long hours. They come at about six in the 
 summer, or even earlier, and go on till eight ; 
 8 "3 
 
114 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOA T 
 
 they then go home to breakfast and come back 
 between nine and ten. From that hour they 
 work till two, with a break at eleven. Two 
 hours are allowed for dinner, and the children 
 come back at four and work on till dusk begins 
 to set in. This, of course, sounds very in- 
 dustrious, but it could not be done if they 
 were worked as hard in school as English 
 children. Both teacher and scholars work 
 at much lower pressure and the lessons are 
 taken more calmly. When we can put our 
 schools on more scientific lines we shall lessen 
 the working-hours and increase the recreation. 
 This cannot at present be done satisfactorily 
 except where we have teachers with very 
 different qualifications from the average 
 Chinese schoolmaster.' 
 
 They arrived at the school as Mr. Tai finished 
 speaking. A great noise was heard. All 
 the boys were busy memorizing aloud or 
 reciting their lessons ready to finish for the 
 day. 
 
 As the visitors entered the . boys rose and 
 stopped speaking. The teacher came forward 
 smiling blandly, and gave a polite bow to each 
 of the newcomers, which they endeavoured 
 to return by imitation. 
 
 ' Some visitors, Mr. Li,' said their host. 
 * They want to see the school.' 
 
SHOCK-HEADED PETER 115 
 
 Mr. Li protested strongly. ' How dare I 
 show such a poor, ill-managed school ? ' 
 
 He then called upon his boys to make a 
 Chinese bow to the visitors, which they did 
 in all sorts of ways, but somehow even the 
 smallest children managed to put a quaint 
 dignity into the performance. The three 
 friends bowed in return. 
 
 ' Tell the teacher he has a nice lot of boys, 
 please,' said the Old Man to Mr. Tai, so Mr. 
 Tai said to the teacher : 
 
 ' The outside-kingdom-old-grandfather says 
 the peaches and the plums are abundant.' 
 
 The teacher smiled deprecatingly. ' Pshaw,' 
 said he, ' they are a poor crop ! ' However, 
 he was evidently pleased with the compliment. 
 
 Mr. Tai then said : ' First-born, please let 
 the boys go on with their work ; we must not 
 hinder you, as the time is late. I will show the 
 old guests what they want to see.' This he 
 said, not as a reflection on the aged appearance 
 presented by the Old Man and Billy with their 
 beards, but because the term ' old ' is one of 
 respect in China. So the teacher sat down 
 with a bow, and the boys began to come up 
 to him with their lessons. They placed their 
 lesson-book m front of the teacher and then 
 turned their back upon him, and shouted the 
 lesson at a great rate. 
 
Ii6 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 ' Look at that youngster taking a sly peep 
 over his shoulder,' said Billy. The teacher 
 also caught him and gave him a crack on the 
 head with his ruler. While the boys were 
 repeating their lessons the visitors looked round 
 the school. 
 
 ' You do not get a real idea of an old-time 
 Chinese school from this place/ said Mr. Tai, 
 ' because we have put a good many of our 
 Western ideas into it. The Chinese themselves, 
 too, in the cities are building schools into which 
 they have introduced many foreign methods. 
 In the new building regulations there are 
 instructions about how much air, light .and 
 space are to be allowed, just as in Western 
 countries. Also a very elaborate curriculum 
 is provided for the different grades. It is 
 possible for a student to spend twenty-nine 
 years at school if he begins at the kindergarten 
 and finishes with the post-graduate work. 
 But the ancient Chinese school is very different. 
 You can still see them in country places. 
 There is generally no attempt at order or 
 discipline, and the teacher himself arranges 
 his own methods. The curriculum has been 
 fixed from time immemorial. The parents 
 expect the boys to be taught to read, to 
 understand the Chinese classics, and to learn 
 to write well. Boys who show an aptitude for 
 
SHOCK-HEADED PETER 117 
 
 learning are generally given every opportunity 
 by their parents.' 
 
 ' The Chinese,' said Billy, ' have always been 
 fond of learning, have they not ? ' 
 
 ' Yes,' replied Mr. Tai. ' Many instances 
 have occurred of scholars burning the midnight 
 oil and ruining their eyes in their devotion to 
 study. A rather amusing story is told of 
 a famous doctor of learning. He was riding 
 on his mule when he passed a willow. When 
 he saw the willow he dismounted, went to it 
 and bowed in his stately fashion, saying, 
 " O willow, thou shouldest have my gratitude 
 and respect, for with thy help did my master 
 goad my youthful indolence towards know- 
 ledge." ' 
 
 The Three Men laughed. 
 
 ' Have you ever thrashed a boy ?' said 
 Uncle Sam. 
 
 ' I'm not a keen supporter of that kind of 
 education,' said Mr. Tai, ' but I believe it 
 has a good effect sometimes with some boys ' 
 [boys who read this book will probably not 
 agree], 'and may be resorted to with good 
 results. You see that boy who is repeating 
 his lesson now.' They looked towards the 
 teacher. A boy with a very rough head and 
 bright, mischievous eyes was saying his lesson. 
 • We call him " Shock-headed Peter,' " said 
 
ii8 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HO USEBOA T 
 
 Mr. Tai. ' I must tell you of an episode I had 
 with him. 
 
 ■ On Saturday morning the first hour is 
 always spent in learning the Collect for the 
 next day. This generally takes about half 
 an hour. The boys are then given a short 
 piece of composition on a Scripture event 
 learnt during the week. One Saturday 
 morning I had set Shock-headed Peter's class 
 a theme from the life of Noah. Everything 
 was going on quietly. I was sitting correcting 
 papers at the table. Suddenly I looked up 
 and saw Peter with his eyes fixed upon me. 
 When he met my gaze he blushed a vivid scarlet. 
 " There's something happening," thought I, 
 and out of the corner of my eye kept Peter's 
 movements well under surveillance. In a 
 minute or two I rose casually and strolled 
 round in Peter's direction. Everything looked 
 as usual : that is, Peter's paper had a scanty 
 array of characters on it. By his side was 
 an innocent-looking Prayer-book. I lifted the 
 Prayer-book and underneath was a copy of the 
 book of Genesis open at the place ! Peter 
 looked thoroughly trapped. I felt very sorry 
 that one of the boys should play such tricks, 
 and told him so, adding " Come to my study 
 afterwards." 
 
 ' When the lesson was over he came very 
 
SHOCK HEADED PETER 119 
 
 slowly and sadly. I shut the door and took 
 a bamboo rod. Peter looked so comically 
 woebegone that I terribly wanted to laugh. 
 However, discipline demanded that Peter 
 should be made to realize his misdemeanours. 
 " Teng Sheo Li (that was his name and meant 
 " Teng who observes ceremony") Teng Sheo 
 Li," said I, " is cribbing from the book your 
 idea of living up to your name and observing 
 ceremony ? I must punish you for this. I 
 have brought you here instead of making you 
 an example to all the boys." , 
 
 ' "The Old Scholar is very kind," said he 
 hopelessly. 
 
 ' " Kneel down," said I, in sepulchral tones 
 in order to hide my longing to chuckle. 
 
 ' He knelt down in the same way that 
 Chinese criminals kneel before the Mandarin. 
 That is the usual method in a Chinese school. 
 I gave him a tap ; he cried out of all proportion 
 to the blow. I gave him another. Then he 
 knocked his head on the ground. " Old 
 Scholar," said he, " I'll never crib again. It is 
 most kind of you to take all this trouble with 
 me. I'm much obliged. I've troubled you 
 greatly, but let me off. I won't do it again." 
 
 ' I put down the stick and sat down. 
 
 ' " Come here ! " I said, and Peter came, 
 a poor, pathetic little boy of thirteen sadly 
 
120 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOA T 
 
 in need of comfort, I put my arms round him 
 and he sobbed on my shoulder. 
 
 ' " There is one very important Person Who 
 is grieved when small boys do imderhand 
 tricks," said I. " Who is it ? " 
 
 ' " God," he answered, very low. 
 
 ' " Do you think God likes to see you kneeling 
 down to be thrashed ? " I asked him. " You 
 know He doesn't ; and what will your poor 
 mother do when I tell her ? " 
 
 ' He was now weeping copiously, wholesome 
 repentant tears. 
 
 ' " You may now sit on that chair," I said, 
 pointing to it, " and when you are ready you 
 may go." In a short time he rose and ap- 
 proached me and bowed. I rose and bowed 
 too, then I put my hands on his shoulder, 
 saying : " The next time you want to do 
 anything that would disgrace your name, 
 say. Thou God seest me ! ' ' 
 
 '"The Firstborn speaks good words; I 
 am deeply repentant," he said and departed. 
 
 ' I am glad to say that his open manner and 
 increased industry (you can't imagine how 
 hard Shock-headed Peter finds real work) 
 showed that his punishment had the desired 
 effect.' 
 
 The Old Man then gave vent to an opinion 
 which all boys will regard as rank heresy. 
 
SHOCK-HEADED PETER 121 
 
 ' A judicious thrashing is the making of some 
 boys,' he said. It should be recorded that 
 he quahfied it by saying that he thought it 
 would ruin others ! 
 
 When they had looked round the school- 
 room and commented on the desks and black- 
 boards and other things made after a foreign 
 pattern, and also admired the large maps on 
 the walls, they returned to the mission com- 
 pound. There a message from Mr. Beh awaited 
 them to the effect that the boats would not 
 leave on the following day. 
 
 ' That is very satisfactory,' said Mr. Tai. 
 , You must come up to-morrow and see the 
 boys drill. In the afternoon we shall have 
 some football; but let us now come in to 
 supper/ 
 
 ' Come along ! ' said Mrs. Tai's cheery 
 voice from the doorway as they entered the 
 courtyard. ' We're just waiting to begin.' 
 So they all went in together. 
 
 The Old Man, out of consideration to his age 
 and black beard, found himself seated on Mrs. 
 Tai's right and Uncle Sam obtained a place 
 on her left. Billy sat on Mr. Tai's left hand. 
 Opposite, on his right, was a lady with a 
 silvery voice and a high opinion of Chinese 
 women, to judge by what she said about 
 them. She was a missionary. 
 
122 THRBE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOA T 
 
 ' Old Mrs. Tseng has been breaking out 
 again,' she remarked. ' Her daughter-in-law 
 came to me quite crushed and unhappy, saying 
 her life is a burden and she doesn't know how 
 she can endure it. The extraordinary and 
 redeeming point is that Mrs. Tseng knows her 
 failing in this respect and has said to me more 
 than once, " My temper is terrible." Her 
 friends say it is much better since she has been 
 a Christian. She herself calls it a relic of 
 her heathen days, a messenger of Satan to 
 buffet her. This old lady,' said Miss Forest 
 Explanatorily to Billy, ' is one of the old 
 Christians here. She is a very strong-minded 
 woman and rules her household, including her 
 son and his wife. There is no doubt about her 
 Christianity, but she finds her temper hard 
 to control. There is no doubt either that her 
 daughter-in-law is trying from her mother's 
 point of view.' 
 
 ' How old is the daughter-in-law, by the 
 way ? ' said Mr. Tai. 
 
 Miss Forest thought a moment : ' She 
 must be at least twenty-five,' she replied. 
 ' One can never realize this, she is so thought- 
 less and inconsequent.' 
 
 ' It is the fault of defective education,' 
 said Mrs. Tai from the other end of the table. 
 ' When the Chinese girl is educated and taught 
 
SHOCK-HEADED PETER 123 
 
 to think, she can be as responsible and sensible 
 as any other. We have pupils in our schools 
 who are a strong proof that the Chinese girl 
 of eighteen is no whit behind her Western 
 compeer in her possibilities if she has a fair 
 chance.' 
 
 ' Girls and boys too,' said Mr. Tai, ' will 
 fail to realize their best, of course, if their 
 minds are entirely neglected. That Chinese 
 women are worthy to rank high amongst the 
 world's women is proved in history,' and he 
 proceeded from his store of Chinese learning 
 to enumerate instances of China's famous 
 women from the mother of Mencius to the 
 late Empress-Dowager. 
 
 ' Mothers-in-law seem to be very important 
 persons in China,' said Billy. 
 
 ' They are,' replied Mr. Tai. ' It is she who 
 bums incense to the household gods before 
 the baby is born ; and it is she who takes him, 
 when a month old, to the temple. She riiles 
 the family with a rod of iron. It is the wife's 
 mother-in-law, mind. The English saying, 
 " My son's my son till he takes him a wife ; 
 My daughter's my daughter all the days of her 
 life," according to Chinese contrariness must 
 be reversed. It is the daughter who is lost 
 to her family when she is married.' 
 
CHAPTER XV 
 
 I SOME TANGIBLE MYTHOLOGY 
 
 ENGLISH boys and girls often know a 
 good deal about Greek and Roman 
 mythology, but perhaps they have not heard 
 how interesting a world the Chinese have made 
 out of their mythology. Although the Chinese 
 is not so beautiful and entrancing as the Greek, 
 it shows a much greater regard for law and 
 order and pure morals ; in fact it gains more 
 easily the approval of modern Christians. 
 In China there are gods of the mountains 
 and valleys, rivers and streams ; there are 
 Dryads, Oreads, Naiads, genii, and good and 
 evil demons; but they belong to a Chinese 
 atmosphere. The Chinese gods and goddesses, 
 severe, forbidding and sometimes ugly as 
 they are, nevertheless give a valuable peep 
 into a Chinese mind. 
 
 The Three Men found the City God Temple 
 
 a good place in which to study the question. 
 
 They were up betimes on the day following 
 
 the events recorded in the preceding chapter, 
 
 124 
 
SOME TANGIBLE MYTHOLOGY 125 
 
 and after breakfast went on shore to the 
 mission-house. Here they found the work of 
 the day in full swing. An evangelist was in 
 the guest-hall talking to a few Chinese visitors 
 who had looked in. Mrs. Tai was busy enter- 
 taining a group of women and administering 
 doses of physic for simple baby ailments, to 
 the joy of anxious mothers. Mr. Tai invited 
 the visitors into his study. ' Sit down,' 
 said he. ' I'll soon be ready ; I want to go on 
 to the street. You might like to come and see 
 the sights.' 
 
 ' The very thing,' said they, and chatted 
 away together until at length Mr. Tai, putting 
 on his topi, said : 
 
 ' Now we'll go. Is there any place you would 
 specially like to visit ? ' 
 
 ' The City God Temple, please,' said the 
 Old Man. 
 
 ' Splendid idea,' murmured his friends, 
 and so Mr. Tai said : ' Good ; it is on my 
 way too, as it happens, and is well worth a 
 visit. Half an hour there will do much to 
 strengthen your missionary zeal. It will help 
 you to see the reasonableness of Chinese ideas, 
 and how ready the people are to receive a 
 true solution to the questions they attempt to 
 answer there. 
 
 ' The City God Temple contains rather a 
 
126 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 mixture of gods. You may say that all three 
 religions are represented, but the general object 
 of interest is the Buddhist purgatory. This 
 is divided into ten circles, as you will see when 
 we arrive.' 
 
 ' What would you consider is the predomin- 
 ating thought contained in it ? ' asked Billy. 
 
 ' I should say the inculcation of a doctrine 
 of rewards and punishments is the main idea. 
 Men are dealt with there according to their 
 deeds done in the flesh,' replied Mr. Tai. 
 
 They walked on for a few minutes through 
 a crowded thoroughfare. 
 
 ' It is market day,' said Mr. Tai ; ' the crowds 
 are always great.' At length they came to 
 the entrance of the City God Temple. There 
 were lions in front to keep away demons. 
 They passed in, and to the right and left were 
 the Ten Halls of Piurgatory, five on each side. 
 The figures were made of stone, wood, or 
 plaster. 
 
 ' Who are those two at the entrance ? ' 
 asked Billy. 
 
 ' The one on the left hand is the " Village 
 Headman." He is supposed to be in the other 
 world what village headmen are in this, " the 
 searcher after sinners." The one on the right 
 is the " Chicken-footed god." They are the 
 Guardians of Hell. As we pass round from 
 
SOME TANGIBLE MYTHOLOGY 127 
 
 the first to the last divisions we see what k 
 the Chinese Buddhist's idea of a man's history 
 after death until he is born again through 
 the Mills of Transmigration. When a sotd 
 leaves this world it passes at once up the 
 Hill of Retrospection. It is escorted by a 
 youth, who shows it the way and points out 
 things it needs to know ; also by a demon 
 to prevent it escaping. It may be that Good 
 and Evil are represented by these two, so that 
 the deceased person shall not lose or evade 
 his due. When he arrives at the top of the 
 Hill of Retrospection he looks back and sees 
 his relatives offering sacrifice and performing 
 the funeral rites.' 
 
 ' There they are,' said Uncle Sam, ' kneeling 
 before the Hill.' 
 
 ' That is they,' said Mr. Tai. ' You notice 
 that the next thing is a weighing-machine. 
 The lord of this division is the Recorder of 
 Hell, and he keeps a record of all deeds done 
 in the body so that no one can escape. The 
 last event in this division is the drinking of 
 a kind of Lethean waters. That cauldron 
 contains a liquid of which all have to drink, 
 and having drunk, forget " both joy and grief, 
 pleasure and pain" as regards the upper 
 world ; but they have a trying ordeal before 
 them. 
 
128 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 ' As we pass round we come next to a place 
 where women receive justice. A guard and 
 his wife are keeping watch. Here is a woman 
 who was brought down for punishment, but 
 you see the lotus has bloomed in her bosom 
 to show that she is blameless ; and above you 
 can see the Goddess of Mercy bending over to 
 protect her. She must be released. Several 
 figures are here. That woman yonder has 
 been unjustly treated by her husband, and 
 she is bringing him down by command of 
 the lord of this Hell for judgment. Next 
 comes the Hell of the Cutting Knife and the 
 Treadmill. And there is a Mirror; whoever 
 will not confess his sins is confronted with 
 this mirror, and there he sees them come to 
 find him. The Knife was invented by the 
 lord of this Hell. He was a statesman and 
 senior wrangler in the Song dynasty. Here is 
 a woman who has been proved to be evil. She 
 has been guilty of evil-speaking and tattling, 
 and her punishment is that she must lose her 
 tongue. 
 
 ' Next comes the Iron Prison, where evil men 
 suffer pangs of hunger. That priest there 
 is called the Ti Tsang Wang. Through his 
 virtue he was able to come and save his mother. 
 The Chinese have not learnt that no man can 
 make atonement to God for any one else. 
 
SOME TANGIBLE MYTHOLOGY lag 
 
 ' There are other terrible places : the Hell 
 of the Pointed-Knife-Hill, the Hell of the Oil 
 Cauldron ; sins of the senses are punished 
 here. The guardians have the heads of cows 
 and horses. Then comes the Bridge of Good 
 and Evil. Only good men can get safely 
 across, the evil are plunged into the waters 
 below by that cow-demon with the trident. 
 We now come to another Hell for the dividing 
 of good and evil. You see those demons 
 were just going to saw that man in halves, 
 but because he was a good man the saw broke 
 and his tormentors fell back defeated.' 
 
 The Three Men now stood before the last 
 division. ' This,' said Mr. Tai, ' is the place 
 for rewarding the good and evil before they 
 pass through the Mill of Transmigration. 
 You see every one is preparing to go through. 
 That woman hved a good Ufe, and so she is 
 to be rewarded by becoming a sort of senior 
 wrangler in her next life. Some men are made 
 to grow the skins of pigs or deer or other 
 animals. All persons receive the due reward 
 of their deeds.' 
 
 By this time a great crowd had collected 
 in the temple : hucksters, pedlars, farmers 
 and dry-goods sellers; while second-hand 
 clothes, boots and things of all sorts were 
 .spread out for sale. 
 9 
 
130 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOA T 
 
 The visitors walked round the temple and 
 saw the various idols. There were the ' Four 
 Diamonds,' looking very ugly. The Chinese 
 suppose that the uglier the idol the greater 
 his power to keep away evil spirits. There 
 were idols that looked horrid, with great daubs 
 of opium smeared over their faces. In one 
 comer was a man reciting portions of the 
 Sacred Edict and explaining it to the people. 
 This book is a commentary on sixteen maxims 
 of the Emperor Kang Hsi, which are supposed 
 to teach the Chinese how to live their daily 
 lives. Rich people often pay a man to give 
 public recitations from it for the common good, 
 supposing they will accumulate merit thereby. 
 
 A Chinese quack was doing a roaring 
 trade. One of his performances was extra- 
 ordinary, especially because the custom of 
 the Chinese is for men and women generally 
 to keep at a respectable distance from one 
 another. A woman came to him with a pain 
 in her cheek ; he took hold of her head and 
 massaged her for a few seconds, and then put 
 his lips to the place with the object, apparently, 
 of drawing out the pain by a kind of counter- 
 irritation. This, done in the pursuit of his 
 professional duties,, caused no surprise among 
 the crowd. 
 
 While the Three Men were returning to the 
 
SOME TANGIBLE MYTHOLOGY 131 
 
 missien-hous* with their host, he entertained 
 them with a description of a ' Ts'ing Shui ' 
 procession which he had seen the day before 
 they arrived. 
 
 ' The Ts'ing Shui,' said he, " was in connexion 
 with the funeral of one of the richest men 
 about here, Huang Pang-Tsi, i.e. "Huang the 
 f at " ; so he was commonly called. I wish I 
 could make the procession pass before you. 
 
 'The object of the procession was to go to 
 the river and take the " living water" {hoh 
 shui) to sprinkle round the vicinity to cleanse 
 it. Because a man is dead ? By no means ; 
 but to cleanse it so that the idol-god may 
 come and save the dead man, as he cannot do 
 unless the place is cleansed. Hence this long 
 procession ! 
 
 ' It was a sight in many respects worth seeing. 
 First came a company of the relatives of the 
 deceased dressed in unbleached calico garments; 
 these were followed by a large number of the 
 beggars of the city, hired to carry umbrellas, 
 lanterns, banners and other idolatrous in- 
 signia, of which they probably did not know 
 the meaning ; then a band of screeching 
 clarionets, followed by cymbals, large and 
 small, clashing with rhythmic precision to a 
 triple measure, accompanied by a large drum. 
 
 ' Then came a pretty sight . ' ' Nice little boys 
 
132 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 dressed all in white came in order due, two 
 by two." It gave one pain to see their sweet, 
 innocent faces mixed up with such idolatry. 
 
 ' We thought this Was the end, but about 
 five minutes afterwards came the last half of 
 the procession. Another vanguard of beggars, 
 followed by another band. Then came the 
 crown of the procession, about one hundred 
 priests in yellow robes and an outer vestment, 
 which, the farther one looked back, grew the 
 richer. The last half-dozen of them had also 
 rich tiaras _ on their heads. Following these 
 came another band of flute and clarionet 
 players. Then lastly came the rest of the dead 
 man's relatives, all in white. 
 
 ' The whole thing gave a typical example 
 of how the three great religions of China have 
 become confused together. The ceremony, 
 of course, was fundamentally anti-Confucian, 
 because Confucianism has no idols ; the 
 yellow-robed, head-shaven priests were Bud- 
 dhist ; the superstition itself is shared by 
 the Taouists ; and the ancestral tablets were 
 Confucian. Thus have the three religions 
 settled into mutual toleration at the expense 
 of all enthusiasm and real religion.' 
 
 ' It seems strange,' said the Old Man, ' that 
 at this late date of China's history she should 
 still harbour such superstitions.' 
 
SOME TANGIBLE MYTHOLOGY 133 
 
 ' Yes,' rejoined Mr. Tai, ' but they are doomed 
 to die. What the Church of Christ needs to 
 do is to see that China has something really 
 worthy to take their place. Intercourse with 
 foreign nations is teaching the folly of many of 
 these things. When, for instance, China learns 
 the scientific cause of earthquakes and other 
 natural phenomena, she will no longer be 
 able to think that evil spirits cause them just 
 in order to afflict men, or that the Dragon is 
 continually seeking to have a share in human 
 affairs. But it is our duty to see that when 
 she realizes the follies of her old faith she shall 
 have a knowledge of the true God to take 
 their place ; otherwise, when the demon of 
 Heathenism is cast out and her house is " swept 
 and garnished," her "last state will be worse 
 than the first," for the spirits of unbelief, 
 rationalism, and contempt of God will come 
 in and take up their abode with her.' 
 
CHAPTER XVI 
 
 CHINESE ' FOOTER ' 
 
 BETWEEN two and half-past. two o'clock 
 that afternoon the Three Men set off 
 with their kind host to the boys' school. It 
 was Wednesday and a half-holiday. On their 
 way Mr. Tai remarked, ' Football in Inland 
 China is not so simple a matter as in England. 
 For one thing it strikes a Chinese as wilful 
 waste to keep a piece of ground solely for such 
 a purpose as mere play when it might be used 
 for agriculture ; and of course the ordinary 
 missionary institution cannot afford to buy 
 ground for football. The consequence is that 
 we are obliged to make the most of what 
 waste ground there is, and that is of a very 
 desert kind ; sand, pebbles, and even rocks 
 abound on it.' 
 
 As they entered the school a tall boy saw 
 them and went running out into the play- 
 ground where most of the boys were scrambling; 
 jumping, making cat-calls, or doing other things 
 
CHINESE 'FOOTER' 135 
 
 dear to the hearts of Chinese and English 
 boys aUke. ' Sien seng lai lo ! ' shouted the 
 boy, and soon all the boys were yelling, Chua 
 chiu J ' which was their equivalent for ' footer ' : 
 and there were screechings and weird scream- 
 ings of ' lai lo ' as the boys all came bounding 
 through the schoolroom into the courtyard. 
 
 ' It is a rule of the school that the boys 
 carry the poles and flags themselves,' said 
 Mr. Tai ; ' the day boy has to make the ball 
 his special care, and he hears about it if there 
 is any kicking of the ball before the ground 
 is reached.' 
 
 This he said as the boys were arming 
 themselves with the poles and flags. At 
 length, ' Fall in ! ' said he. The boys fell in 
 and marched in order till they had passed 
 the city gate. Here they were allowed to 
 follow their own devices, and these consisted 
 in rolling, tumbling, squealing and proceeding 
 generally as though their object were to produce 
 as great a contrast as possible to the orderly 
 procession which had left the school. They 
 were soon scattered along the Bund by the 
 river. 
 
 The river was a very interesting sight. 
 Two or three boats were engaged in fishing, 
 which means that half a dozen or so cormorants 
 w»re the fishers. The birds were very well 
 
136 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOA T 
 
 trained. Each had a sUp-knot round his 
 neck, and when he dived after a fish, which he 
 never missed, the knot tightened so that he 
 could not swallow it. His master then took 
 it from him and set him free to catch another. 
 
 ' The ducks and the divers have the best of 
 it,' said BUly ; * they have no master to con- 
 fiscate their gains.' 
 
 Just as they arrived at the end of the Bund 
 they saw a quaint sight. A lot of little toy 
 boats were floating down the stream, and each 
 contained a lighted taper. 
 
 ' What are those ? ' asked the Old Man. 
 
 'They represent the Barge of Mercy,' 
 answered Mr. Tai. ' They are lighting the 
 souls of departed spirits to the other world; 
 perhaps Gwanyin, goddess dear, will come to 
 help them. You see how at every step 
 China's need of the knowledge of a Saviour 
 meets us.' 
 
 The ground was now not far off. Shock- 
 headed Peter and the tall boy, whose name was 
 Shen Menglin, were engaged in a spirited tussle 
 over the ball. At length Shock-headed Peter, 
 being the smaller, was worsted, and lost the 
 ball. Shen, having conquered, was just about 
 to kick the ball when Mr. Tai's voice stopped 
 him, ■ Give it back to him ; we have not yet 
 arrived. Shock-headed Peter, you know, is 
 
SHOCK-HEADED PETER ENGAGED IN A SPIRITED TUSSLE. 
 
CHINESE 'FOOTER' 137 
 
 the day boy/ said Mr. Tai, ' and it is his business 
 to look after the ball until we reach the ground.' 
 
 The triumph on Shock-headed Peter's face 
 as he received back his charge was a sight to 
 behold. 
 
 ' Here we are,' said Mr. Tai as they stopped 
 on a large tract of sandy soil sparsely covered 
 with coarse grass and with thousands of tiny 
 blue gentians dotted about. The boys, how- 
 ever, were not showing any taste for botany. 
 
 The goal-posts were put up and the flags 
 placed. Then Shen Menglin and Chang Tseluh 
 tossed up, which they did in a very funny way. 
 Each gave a little shout and threw up his 
 right hand. The position of the fingers 
 determined who had won the toss. Chang 
 had first pick. The Old Man and Uncle Sam 
 found themselves on one side, and Billy and 
 Mr. Tai were on the other. The boulders 
 had a way of popping up at a crucial moment, 
 and made football hard work. This did not 
 worry the boys, however; they enjoyed them- 
 selves thoroughly. A great crowd gathered 
 round to see the play, and when the ball 
 suddenly broke away and s6nt them scattering 
 in all directions, everybody laughed and 
 thought it great fun. The difficulty was to 
 keep the sightseers off the bounds. At half- 
 time the Three Men decided that in spite of the 
 
138 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOA T 
 
 boulders it was fine sport. Wen Yoh, the school 
 captain, was blowing like a cyclone, and all 
 the boys had a fine healthy glow on their faces. 
 
 ' Splendid work for them,' remarked Mr. 
 Tai. ' When they first come to the school so 
 many of them look flabby and pale for want of 
 exercise ; a few months of this, however, 
 soon gives them a good colour and an appetite 
 like a trooper ; and its usual accompaniment, 
 a readiness to grumble about their food.' 
 
 ' Oh ! you have those troubles in Chinese 
 schools too, do you ? ' said Billy. 
 
 ' Yes. About six months after the school 
 had been opened the boys, who were looking 
 much plumper and ruddier than when they 
 first came, said they were not getting enough 
 to eat. One boy, the fattest of them all, 
 said he would have to tell his mother. This 
 struck me as so comical that I said to him, 
 ' ' Do. Your mother will say, ' If that is the case, 
 my son, how is it that you are so much fatter 
 now than when you went to the school six 
 months ago ?' " This made all the boys laugh. 
 I promised each of them an extra basin of 
 rice, and so it ended. Growing boys, of course, 
 are always hungry.' 
 
 The whistle was now blown for the second 
 half by the Little Nipper, a small twelve-year- 
 old who did his duty with a great sense of 
 
CHINESE 'FOOTER' 139 
 
 his own importance. Several of the boys had 
 English nicknames, for the foreigners' benefit. 
 Play was fast and furious, for no goals had yet 
 been scored. Shen Menglin was whipping up 
 his side at a great rate. ' Chua ma ! Pao tsiu 
 shilo ! ' and they kicked and ran accordingly. 
 Fouls and offsides were the rule rather than the 
 exception, for the boys were not at present 
 overburdened with a sense of the importance 
 of regulations. 
 
 See ! there is a great scrimmage at the 
 Chang goal. Wen Yoh is tripped up and 
 tumbles all along his five feet eight ; and 
 little Chang Hongyao, in his anxiety to help 
 matters, catches up the ball and throws it 
 away from the goal. Even the Little Nipper 
 can see the glaring impropriety of this, and 
 blows his whistle loudly to make up for 
 former delinquencies. The ball is brought 
 back, and Hsu Paolo kicks it right through 
 the goal. There are great shouts of ' Shen 
 lo!' ( ' Won ' ) from the winning side. This has 
 a tremendous effect on the beaten side, and 
 they play for their lives. 
 
 The Old Man and Uncle Sam, who had per- 
 formed wonders for their side already, worked 
 doubly hard to wipe out the disgrace of defeat, 
 and took the ball up together with a splendid 
 run, and just as Mr. Tai and Billy were on their 
 
I40 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOA T 
 
 track the Old Man sent the ball with a bound 
 over to Chang Shuilin, their great outside 
 right. He, prince of dribblers, caught it 
 just as it fell against Shen Menglin and tossed 
 it lightly by Wang Chiaoching, who threw his 
 weight at him ; Chang dodged him, and over 
 he went. Now did Chang Shuilin justify 
 his fame as a runner and a man of resource, 
 for with a bold kick he sent the ball up the 
 field and was on it just as the opposing back 
 was arriving. It was useless, however, for 
 him to compete with Chang's dodging, and 
 Chang and the ball were soon out of his way. 
 
 Now for a dribble ! But Billy, a rapid runner, 
 is on Chang's track ; he sees his opponent and 
 with a straight kick shoots for goal, and rushes 
 swiftly after the ball ; the goalkeeper saves 
 the shot, but before he can return the ball 
 Chang is on him, and they all three go through 
 the goal. It is now the turn of the other side 
 to shout, and in the midst of their shouting 
 the whistle blows to end the game. 
 
 As they were going home a man, looking 
 very plump and prosperous and neatly dressed, 
 was coming towards them. He was singing 
 in a curious high-pitched voice, and had a 
 piece of pork hanging from his hand. On 
 his head over his ordinary cap was evidently 
 another cap wrapped in white paper. 
 
CHINESE 'FOOTER' 141 
 
 ' Look at that queer man,' said Billy. 
 
 ' He has evidently been to market,' said 
 Mr. Tai, ' and is now on his way home. That 
 is how the Chinese always take home their 
 hats. He has bought it for the New Year.' 
 
 With a cheerful face he greeted Mr. Tai in 
 a genial manner. 
 
 ' He lives in a market close by,' said Mr. 
 Tai, ' and takes a certain amount of interest 
 in the Gospel, but his heart has not really 
 been touched by its message. There are many 
 men and women in China like him.' 
 
 ' Why, whatever is this horrible-looking 
 crowd doing here ? ' asked the Old Man as 
 they passed a rather large shop. It was sur- 
 rounded by beggars, their bodies a mass of 
 sores, and their clothes the last word in rags 
 and tatters. 
 
 ' That,' replied Mr. Tai, ' gives us an interest- 
 ing phase of Chinese life. They may be 
 there for various reasons. Two suggest them- 
 selves to me. You must know that the King 
 of the Beggars levies a small dole from every 
 citizen, and upon payment of this undertakes 
 that no beggars shall come and trouble the 
 house. Perhaps this man will not pay. Or 
 it may be that he has been breaking the rules 
 of his trade guild and the leaders of the guild 
 or trades-union have commissioned the beggars 
 
142 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOA T 
 
 to worry him till he reforms. I remember a 
 funny event which happened at Christmas 
 at the mission-house. After the Christmas 
 feast, the beggars, who heard that we were 
 keeping festival, came round and raided the 
 house to the number of a hundred or more. 
 Unfortunately we had nothing left to give 
 them. This they would not believe, and 
 became a great nuisance. At last I solved 
 the problem by calling the King and giving 
 him two hundred cash, apologizing for the 
 fact that there was no rice left. He took it 
 and promised to send the beggars all off, 
 which he did.' 
 
 ' How very odd ! ' laughed the Three Men. 
 
 ' It is very funny and seems very stupid, 
 but one has to allow for these Chinese customs, 
 and really it is a great convenience to be able 
 by payment of a small regular dole to keep 
 the beggars from troubUng one. As a matter 
 of fact, we do all we can for them, and often 
 see some sitting in a corner of our preaching 
 hall listening to the Gospel. The beggars of 
 China are a great problem, and Chi^^tianity is 
 to my mind the great means for solving that 
 problem, as it has been in other lands. 
 
 ' As an instance of what Christianity does, 
 let me just tell you a story of our work. 
 Two of our lady missionaries lived in a small 
 
CHINESE 'FOOTER I43 
 
 city by themselves. They had a teacher who, 
 poor chap, smoked opium. His son, a nice 
 youth, used to come and read with them 
 when his father was not well. Subsequently 
 the father passed away, and his family were in 
 great poverty. One son died as a beggar, and 
 one day a missionary, who happened to know 
 the other youth, found him also in the last stages 
 of beggary at Mienchuh. He took him back 
 to these ladies, who tended him. They cured 
 his terrible sores and employed him as a general 
 helper. As he recovered, his education made 
 it possible for him to be employed in their 
 small school. When, owing to various reasons, 
 they left their station the boy came on to me 
 and worked in my elementary school, and was 
 a fairly efficient teacher as Chinese teachers go. 
 The ladies had taught him a certain amount 
 of arithmetic, which I endeavoured to supple- 
 ment, and afterwards, through their kindness, 
 he went to our training college for evangelists 
 at Paoning. He spent two years there, and 
 is now a schoolmaster in the city he once 
 roamed as a beggar.' 
 
 ' Splendid,' said his hearers as Mr. Tai 
 finished. Just then, as they were rounding a 
 comer, they passed a little group of Chinese 
 gentlemen, who, to judge by their bearing, 
 were not friendly to Christianity. When they 
 
144 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOA T 
 
 saw the friends approaching they all assumed 
 a very forbidding attitude, and elevated their 
 eyebrows above their almond eyes to the very 
 extremity of superior disdain. 
 
 ' Those men,' said Mr. Tai, ' have never been 
 favourable to • us. You must not, however, 
 suppose that all the gentry are like that. I 
 have quite a number of delightful friends 
 amongst them.' 
 
 That night, after the Three Men had left 
 Wanhsien and were sitting on the Boat, the 
 Old Man suddenly said, ' Billy's very quiet : 
 what's up, Billy ? ' 
 
 ' This,' said Billy, and he handed him the 
 following : 
 
 TO A PROUD CONFUCIANIST, 
 
 I know the thought of your proud heart, and all 
 Th' uplifting of that supercilious brow 
 Means both of ancient pride and scorn, enow 
 
 To stock Beelzebub, who holds you thrall, 
 
 I know th' unruffled self-content you call 
 Pride in an ancient cult ; nor wonder how 
 Before the best you know you humbly bow. 
 
 And think no failure can your heart appal. 
 
 But there will come a time when Christ the King, 
 In gracious retribution for your scorn. 
 Shall make you see how desperately forlorn 
 
 Your heart is ; and your glory you shall bring, 
 
 And lay it lowly at His blessM feet 
 
 And there confess its worthlessness complete! 
 
CHAPTER XVII 
 
 IN A CHINESE THEATRE AND TEMPLE 
 
 THE little Houseboat was approaching 
 another city by slow degrees. The 
 Pirate Chief and the Prime Minister, to judge 
 by their song, were indulging a very buoyant 
 faith in human nature as represented by the 
 travellers, and were chanting an impromptu 
 duet to that effect. 
 
 ' We are getting towards the end of our 
 journey ! Only a few more days ! Soon we 
 shall drop under Chungking ! When we arrive 
 the generous foreigner will give large money 
 for pork and other dainties ! We shall build 
 up our strength ! Foreign grandfathers are 
 good-hearted souls ! Aye O 1 Aye O ! Aye 
 0-a ! Aye O ! ' 
 
 There was a tremendous sound of banging 
 of gongs, and of voices chanting in a high- 
 pitched monotone as they drew near the shore. 
 
 ' Whatever is happening ? ' 
 
 ' It sounds as though Pandemonium were 
 let loose I ' 
 
 10 '45 
 
146 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 ' We'll have to go and see.' 
 
 It was two o'clock in the afternoon. The 
 stewed rabbit which Fu had dished up with 
 his accustomed skill had already commenced 
 its beneficent work, and the Three Men were in 
 high fettle. 
 
 ' Now, old Pirate Chief,' said Billy ; ' sparkle 
 up ! We want to get on shore.' 
 
 The Pirate Chief grinned, and went leisurely 
 on with his punting. The Pilot, as usual, was 
 dividing his attention between a very long 
 tobacco pipe and punting. The Home Secre- 
 tary and the Chancellor of the Exchequer were 
 chasing each other backwards and forwards 
 over the roof, and the Captain's wife nursed 
 her baby contemplatively as she waited for 
 an opportunity to land. At last the plank was 
 fixed, and the Three Men made for the shore. 
 Even Uncle Sam found the gongs such attrac- 
 tive music that he did not loiter behind. The 
 Old Man had already endeavoured to find out 
 what was the cause of the noise. Approaching 
 the Prime Minister, he clapped his hands and 
 made a sound which was supposed to represent 
 the gong. ' Shahtsl ? " said he. 
 
 ' Hsi ! ' said the Prime Minister. But the 
 vocabulary of the Three combined was not 
 equal to interpreting that. 
 
 As they went on shore the Prime Minister 
 
IN A CHINESE THEATRE AND TEMPLE 147 
 
 said sympathetically, ' Yao kan hsi ! ' (' You 
 want to see the theatre ! ') This, however, 
 none of the Three could understand, so the Old 
 Man shouted back in good English, ' We'll take 
 your word for it.' The Prime Minister nodded 
 a farewell, and off they went. 
 
 When they had gone a little way into the 
 city they came to a temple where there was a 
 great crowd of people. ' This is it ! ' said they, 
 and wormed their way in. The crowd, seeing 
 the ' outside-kingdom-guests,' graciously made 
 room, and they got in, causing endless gratifi- 
 cation to those of the sightseers within range, 
 who became immediately interested in their 
 strange dress and foreign appearance. ' For- 
 eigners,' said they, and the word went round. 
 Soon men and women were straining their 
 necks to get a glimpse. The gong, meanwhile, 
 was still sounding, and a weird, monotonous 
 chanting was going on. The Three were soon 
 so interested in what they saw that they for- 
 got the gazing crowd. Before them was a 
 stage on large stone pillars, and Chinese actors 
 were strutting about on it. There was a 
 mandarin in very smart clothes, his wife and 
 various servants standing round. The man- 
 darin for some reason seemed very angry with 
 his wife. They were acting a favourite Chinese 
 play, and the story of it briefly was as follows : 
 
148 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOA T 
 
 A mandarin is sent to take office in a dis- 
 tant province. He has his wife and infant 
 son and various servants with him. They hire 
 a boat to take them and their goods, but the 
 skipper and his crew prove to be pirates. 
 When they have fairly started, the skipper and 
 his men kill the mandarin and his servants, 
 and the skipper tells the poor wife, ' Now you 
 must be my wife, and I am going to take the 
 post of mandarin.' She feigns to consent 
 willingly, but asks to be left alone for a few 
 days. She then gets a pigskin box big 
 enough to hold her son. She writes a letter in 
 her own blood, for want of ink, telling the 
 whole story and begging whoever finds the 
 son to care for him for his father's sake. She 
 then drops the box into the river just as they 
 are . passing a Buddhist temple. The priest 
 finds the box and reads the letter, and in 
 horror and pity takes the poor child and brings 
 him up as the son of a mandarin. 
 
 The wicked skipper meanwhile succeeds in 
 his plot. They eventually reach the city, and 
 he takes his post as mandarin. He seems to 
 have succeeded thoroughly in his evil course, 
 but the day of reckoning is coming. Some 
 years later he is sent as a mandarin to the 
 very city close to which stands the temple 
 where the son of the dead mandarin lives. 
 
IN A CHINESE THEATRE AND TEMPLE 149 
 
 Neither he nor the boy's mother are aware of 
 this. Soon afterwards the supposed man- 
 darin is taken very ill, and he sends his wife 
 to the temple to pray for him and take gifts. 
 His conscience is troubling him. She comes 
 to the temple and sees her son, and is struck 
 at once by his hkeness to his father. She in- 
 quires of the priest, and says, ' Do you know 
 the story of that boy ? ' 
 
 The priest says, ' Yes, and a very strange 
 story it is.' 
 
 ' Wait,' says she. ' I will tell it you, and 
 when you hear it from me you will know that 
 I am his mother.' 
 
 Then she teUs the story, and the priest says, 
 'The man's sin has come back to him.' 
 He then calls the boy, and leaves him, 
 while the poor mother weeps on her son's 
 neck and tells him all. ' And now,' says 
 she, ' my son, Providence has arranged this 
 in order that we may punish the criminal.' 
 Then she tells him to come to the Yamen, 
 and there they will kill the wicked cause of 
 all their troubles. The story ends with the 
 carrying out of this plot. 
 
 The moral of the play is, 'Be sure your 
 sin will find you out.' China abounds with 
 stories of this sort, which the people love 
 to see acted on the stage. This specimen 
 
15© THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOVSEBOA T 
 
 gives valuable glimpses into the Chinese 
 mind, and shows, to a certain extent, what 
 are their notions of right and wrong. 
 This kind of story has been acted on the 
 stage for many generations. In China for 
 thousands of years the people have loved 
 literature, and have taken a deUght in em- 
 ploying their leisure time in studying and 
 thinking. The scholars of China, however, 
 have not a very high opinion of such stories 
 as we have just related. They regard them 
 as profitless and disreputable. At the same 
 time they all read them. Many of these 
 stories show a profound knowledge of human 
 nature, a keen enjoyment of laughter and fun, 
 and are worthy to be reckoned among the 
 world's dramatic Uterature. 
 
 The Three Men were highly entertained with 
 the strange antics of the actors. Meanwhile 
 the people kept making comments as the 
 scenes changed. 
 
 ' Ah ! ' they said, ' she's in the temple now ! ' 
 ' Ho shang lai liao ! ' (' The priest has come ! ') 
 ' Ler shl t'a tih ertsi / ' (' There's her son ! ') 
 and other expressions, all in very countrified 
 Chinese colloquial. 
 
 • Oh, dear ! ' said the Old Man. 
 
 ' Phew ! ' whistled Billy. 
 
 Uncle Sam ejaculated, ' That's the hmit.' 
 
IN A CHINESE THEATRE AND TEMPLE 151 
 
 The scene had changed, and the mother and 
 son were killing the wicked skipper. 
 
 ' What's this, then ? ' said Billy, ' some un- 
 dutiful wife egging her son on to kill the old 
 father ? A bit dramatic, anyway.' 
 
 Of course the Three Men then did not know 
 the story, and could only judge from what they 
 saw. 
 
 This finished the acting for the time, and a 
 chorus of singers rendered a song in wild 
 musical strains, the burden of which was 
 that those who do shameful deeds will meet 
 with a shameful end. The music was very 
 weird and fantastic, but it had a charm of 
 its own ; it was wildly imaginative, and, as 
 Billy remarked, ' It seemed like goblins and 
 ogres and Bluebeard and Aladdin all mixed 
 up together. The treble danced about hke 
 the fairies on the title-page of Punch, and the 
 bass seemed Uke Jack-the-Giant-killer. When 
 it stopped it left you feeling all higgledy- 
 piggledy, and wishing it would go on once 
 more.' And the others agreed with him, 
 
 ' Well, that is a funny business,' Billy re- 
 marked again as they went back to the boat. 
 ' I wouldn't have missed it for anything.' 
 
 ' The more I see of the Chinese,' said the 
 Old Man, ' the more I come to the conclusion 
 that they're very clever.' 
 
152 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 ' I could not help thinking that this must 
 have been something like the Greek plays,' 
 Uncle Sam remarked. 
 
 ' I fancied so too,' said Billy ; ' but did you 
 not think that whereas the Greek succeeded 
 in producing an impression of beauty the 
 Chinese seemed to be rather grotesque ? ' 
 
 ' Yes,' replied Uncle, ' but I'm not sure that 
 perhaps that may not be due partly to our 
 Western point of view.' 
 
 ' There's no doubt,' said the Old Man, ' that 
 some of those figures were impressive. The 
 mandarin, for instance, and the priest ! It is 
 the ancient style of dress evidently that is 
 used in the theatres.' 
 
 ' It was funny, too, to hear men singing 
 treble parts in such a queer falsetto,' said 
 Billy. ' They don't have women on the 
 Chinese stage, I understand.' 
 
 ' That music,' the Old Man remarked, ' is the 
 same kind, I suppose, as would have been sung 
 by the actors for the benefit of the eariiest 
 Greek audiences.' 
 
 ' I suppose so,' said Uncle. ' The Chinese 
 learnt Greek music through the Bactrians, 
 who got it from the Greeks.' 
 
 ' Is there any need to hurry back ? ' asked 
 Billy. ' The Boat will not leave to-day.' 
 
 ' Let us return another way,' said the Old 
 
IN A CHINESE THEATRE AND TEMPLE 153 
 
 Man, and so the Three cut across the city 
 and came out at another gate. Chinese cities 
 generally have two main streets running, one 
 from the East to the West Gate, and one from 
 the North to the South. These thoroughfares 
 cross each other in the centre. It is, there- 
 fore, fairly easy to find your way about in a 
 Chinese city. The friends came out at the 
 East Gate. Not far away they saw a large 
 Buddhist temple, and heard a great bell sound- 
 ing. 
 
 ' Let us go in,' said Uncle Sam as they 
 stood looking up at the lofty entrance, over 
 which were placed three gilt characters mean- 
 ing, ' Precious Light Temple.' 
 
 ' What a fine temple ! ' Billy ejaculated. 
 ' The Chinese evidently can build when they 
 choose. To look at their houses you would 
 think they could not erect anything so sohd 
 as this.' 
 
 The entrance to this temple was remarkable 
 for its combination of strength and elegance. 
 Its hues were drawn with geometrical precision. 
 
 They passed through the entrance into a 
 large court. In the centre of this court stood 
 a great pagoda, 
 
 ' Why, it's a leaning tower ! ' said the Old 
 Man. 
 
 It had a distinct incline towards the 
 
154 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOA T 
 
 setting sun. Buddhist relics were stored in 
 it, and a little light was kept burning continu- 
 ally, emblematic of the so-called precious light 
 of Buddhism. The Three Men passed behind 
 this pagoda and into another courtyard. On 
 the right was the great refectory where all 
 the monks have their daily rice. 
 
 Just then they heard a gong sound in loud 
 and solemn tones. They moved to the large 
 hall which faced the pagoda. A high wooden 
 fence was round the wide entrance, but it 
 was easy to see into the interior. A beautiful 
 alabaster image of Buddha sat in a contem- 
 plative attitude facing them. High kneelers 
 were placed around it. A large bell and also 
 a huge fish-head, together with the gong, were 
 beaten by the Buddhists when at worship. 
 
 As the Three stood gazing they heard ap- 
 proaching footsteps, and a procession of monks 
 in long yellow robes filed into the temple 
 and took their places at the faldstools. They 
 were going to worship. The abbot led the 
 prayers. The first part was performed kneel- 
 ing, and the voice of the priest echoed through 
 the temple in solemn monotone, answered 
 occasionally by the others. Then they rose, 
 and the bell and fish-head were beaten 
 with ceremonious precision. After this the 
 monks began to chant and bend the knee. 
 
IN A CHINESE THEATRE AND TEMPLE 155 
 
 Their singing was in unison. It sounded 
 something like the music of the actors, but was 
 slow and solemn, and made the listeners feel 
 melancholy. Then, still singing, the monks 
 began to march round the temple. Suddenly 
 both the singing and the marching stopped. 
 Then the voice of the abbot broke the silence : 
 ' Omitofuh ! ' and all the monks took up and 
 repeated the cry again and again, ' Omito- 
 fuh ! Omitofuh ! Omitofuh ! ' 
 
 ' You remember,' said Billy as the Three 
 Men walked away, ' Mr. Beh told us about 
 Omitofuh, the Buddha of the Western heaven, 
 some nights ago.' 
 
 ' It is very sad,' said the Old Man ; ' there 
 was no hope or gladness in the way those monks 
 performed their worship.' 
 
 ' Buddhism cannot make the Chinese happy,' 
 Uncle Sam rejoined. 
 
 ' It teaches him to hope for nothing better 
 than annihilation.' 
 
 ' This is certainly the nearest thing to religion 
 we've noticed in China,' remarked the Old 
 Man, ' and that,' he continued, ' makes it 
 the more sad. The Chinese prove that they 
 have a real capacity for worship, and yet 
 they are wasting it on idols.' 
 
CHAPTER XVIII 
 
 A NIGHT IN THE RAPIDS 
 
 IT sounds exciting to talk about shooting 
 a rapid, and so it is, especially if your 
 boat dips just as it enters and fills with water ! 
 It is exciting to have a hundred coolies hauling 
 you up through a rapid, especially if the rope 
 breaks and your boat rushes back twisting and 
 twirhng like a match-box ! But to stay in a 
 rapid all night is the most exquisite torture 
 a Chinese boatman ever devised for unoffending 
 passengers. 
 
 At about four o'clock on a melancholy day 
 the Three Men found themselves in a rapid, with 
 their Houseboat dancing and jumping hke a 
 tub in a fit. Here they had to stay until their 
 turn came to take the rapid. There were 
 seven boats in front of theirs, and each one 
 would take half an hour at least to pass. 
 There were still four in front when the night 
 fell and traffic stopped. On either side of 
 the little Boat was a large freight junk, each 
 IS6 
 
A NIGHT IN THE RAPIDS 157 
 
 of which vied with the other in bumping against 
 the poor Uttle thing till his sides ached and 
 his timbers shivered. ' Oh, my poor sides ! ' 
 he sighed ; ' they ache more now than they 
 have ever done at any of the funny things in 
 that journal that the Three are writing. Where 
 is the Home Secretary ? Doesn't he know that 
 I'm being battered to pieces ? Why doesn't 
 he make something to break the shock of 
 these great hulks ? ' 
 
 Seess ! Seess ! seethed the water from under 
 him just then, and pitched him right against 
 a great hulk on his left side, bruising him with 
 the butt end of a useless pole. 
 
 ' Here, you little lurching tub, why do you 
 lump against me like that ? ' said the hulk ; 
 and he swayed over upon him with such force 
 that they both rolled together towards the boat 
 on his right, and the poor Uttle chap lost all 
 the pitch he had in him, and could only toss 
 wearily, and creak and groan through all his 
 planks and beams. 
 
 ' I say,' said the Old Man. ' This is Uvely, 
 isn't it ? Are we going to have this all night ? ' 
 
 ' Hullo, what's that ? Come in, don't knock,' 
 said Uncle Sam, as a specially hard bump on 
 the left stove in the bottom plank of the side 
 of the dining-room and admitted water and 
 air in rather large quantities. Meanwhile 
 
158 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOA T 
 
 the Home Secretary, as the little Boat knew, 
 had been improvising a sort of rope fender 
 to break the shock, and now, in true Chinese 
 fashion, dropped it down between the little 
 chap and his bullying neighbour too late. 
 
 ' You slow old Secretary ! ' groaned he, 
 ' the damage is done now, and Uncle Sam 
 will have to plaster me with zinc ointment 
 and put on a splint for this fracture.' But 
 neither he nor his occupants had suffered their 
 full yet . All night long ' bumpetty-bump ' came 
 on his side ; his shutters, too, were fast being 
 broken away. The coolies on the prow slept 
 as usual — it would require more than a night 
 in a rapid to spoil their well-earned repose! 
 Not so the Three Men. They, shaken by 
 their worried little Boat, tossed in sjonpathy 
 on their pillows and wished for the day. Just 
 as the Old Man would be dropping off and 
 becoming musical, ' Bump ! crack ! grrrrr ! ' 
 went every plank and fastening in the Boat, 
 and he awoke to a sense of his misery again. 
 
 ' Are you awake. Old Man ? ' inquired Billy. 
 
 ' Yes,' repUed the Old Man ; ' are you ? ' 
 
 ' It sounds like it, doesn't it ? ' said Billy, 
 ' They're breaking the shutters away on this 
 side. There's a post that supports the coolies' 
 awning on the other boat that just catches my 
 shutters, and is gradually breaking them up.' 
 
A NIGHT IN THE RAPIDS 159 
 
 ' Yes, I shall lose them before morning,' 
 said a voice. 
 
 ' Hullo, who's that ? ' 
 
 ' I'm the Boat, and I am sore. I haven't 
 had a moment's peace all night. I don't 
 mind the rapid. He's a good fellow when 
 you know him, but these horrid junks on each 
 side have pounded me all night. I've got 
 two big holes in me, one in your dining-room 
 and one in Fu's kitchen. There, d'ye see 
 that ? There go both my shutters on your 
 side, Billy, and one of them is broken up just 
 behind you. I wouldn't mind so much if it 
 were not for you Three. I'm always draughty 
 I know, but I shall be worse then ever now, 
 and I'm afraid you'll be uncomfortable. I 
 remember ' 
 
 But what the little Boat remembered 
 neither of the two friends knew, for they 
 followed Uncle Sam to the land of ' Nod.' 
 
 When morning came both Uncle Sam and 
 the Old Man got up without any help, and 
 seemed glad of the change. The Boat was 
 still lurching, and Uncle Sam and Billy were 
 feeling sea-sick though a thousand miles inland ! 
 
 ' I'm glad that I shall soon be out for the 
 sake of you fellows,' said the little Boat. 
 ' When we get into smooth waters I'll give 
 you a fine time to make up for this.' 
 
i6o THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 ' You will, will you, you little beggar,' 
 returned the Old Man, ' like you did the other 
 day, eh — ^when you suddenly lurched over at 
 dinner-time and tipped a cup of water into 
 my lap ? ' 
 
 ' Ah, that wasn't my fault. The wind 
 caught my sail and made me lurch ; the 
 Chancellor of the Exchequer was just as sur- 
 prised as I was at that. Here we go ! You 
 fellows are going on shore, aren't you ? I'll 
 see you later.' So the Three got off and the 
 little Boat went over the rapid towed by a 
 crowd of coolies. This was not the only 
 excitement the Three Men on a Chinese House- 
 boat had with rapids. 
 
 ' There's a big rapid above,' said the little 
 Boat a few days later. ' My men are not 
 going to take it to-night, it's too risky. But 
 I advise you fellows to be up early to-morrow 
 in order to disembark before we start, or you'll 
 be shaken up.' 
 
 The morrow came, and as soon as the coolies 
 were heard dismantling their bedroom on 
 the prow the travellers jumped up, led, to 
 the surprise of the others, by Uncle Sam ! 
 He had a dread of being left on the Boat, 
 and always resigned his goods to the Yang-tse 
 when a serious rapid approached. 
 
 ' Come along, you fellows,' said he, dressing 
 
A NIGHT IN THE RAPIDS 161 
 
 as he went. ' Let's get off, or the Boat will 
 start.' 
 
 ' No hurry.' This from Billy. ' The men 
 haven't had their rice yet.' 
 
 ' I believe they're going,' said Uncle Sam, 
 ' and we ought to be off.' 
 
 ' Well ! I'm not ready yet,' the Old Man 
 declared. 
 
 Just at this moment there was a tremendous 
 shouting outside and the Boat began to 
 move, and they knew to their chagrin that it 
 was too late to get off. 
 
 ' I knew this would be,' said Uncle, like 
 an injured oracle, and went to the prow, where 
 he was followed by Billy. The water was 
 seething around, and roaring like the sea. 
 
 ' I wish we were off,' said Uncle Sam. 
 
 ' Oh, don't be afraid ! ' said the little Boat, 
 ' my men know their business ; we shall be 
 all right.' 
 
 The trackers were about four hundred 
 yards ahead, and the rope was as taut as a 
 viohn string, while the little Boat plunged 
 forward jumping like a rocking-horse. The 
 crew were shouting like madmen, although they 
 did the right thing at the right time in a 
 wonderful way. The Boat was now in the 
 midst of the rapid, and their beating nerves 
 paused with sympathy as the tensile rope, 
 II 
 
i6z THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOA T 
 
 stretched to its utmost, vibrated for a moment 
 and then snapped ! The coolies suddenly 
 ceased shouting as, reheved unexpectedly of 
 the strain, they pitched forward. The little 
 Boat stood momentarily like a surprised thing, 
 and then the rapid clutched it and swung it 
 round, and down the stream it went. But 
 with great dexterity the men got it in hand, 
 and by the aid of their long sweep they rescued 
 it from the swift current and brought it into 
 a backwater, which hurled it ahead Uke a 
 match-box. The men, skilful as they were, 
 could not prevent its crashing into a neigh- 
 bouring boat ; the long sweep caught the 
 obstructing vessel, swung round as on a pivot, 
 turned two of the men head over heels, and 
 dropped into the river, but with fine self- 
 possession the men made fast to the other 
 boat. 
 
 ' Shiver my timbers,' said the little Boat, 
 ' that's the biggest shaking I've had fof a 
 long time. Wasn't it funny to see the Pirate 
 Chief tipping over my sweep like that ? 
 Lucky he didn't fall into the river. We shall 
 need to try again. This is a tough rapid, and 
 I expect my men will wait some time before 
 they make another attempt. I told the 
 Captain he had better borrow a stronger rope 
 from the other boat. You fellows are going 
 
THE TENSILE ROPE . . VIBRATES FOR A MOMENT AND THEN SNAPS. 
 
A NIGHT IN THE RAPIDS 163 
 
 on shore, eh ? Right ho I you've had enough 
 to know what it's like.' And they left the 
 loquacious httle Houseboat to try his luck 
 by himself, and went off in search of the other 
 boat and some breakfast. 
 
 ' Hullo, boys ! ' said Mr. Beh, as he saw the 
 Three coming towards the big boat whereon 
 he and the rest of the party were travelling, 
 ' have you had your breakfast ? ' 
 
 ' No,' said Billy, ' we're feehng mighty 
 ready for one ! ' 
 
 ' Come right in, then,' said he, with true 
 American hospitality. 
 
CHAPTER XIX 
 
 A FAREWELL LOOK AT OUR " HOUSE ' 
 
 ONE day Billy was in an inquisitive mood, 
 and thought how interesting it would 
 be to examine the Boat, so he began to poke 
 about around it. Out on the prow the Prime 
 Minister was just disposing of his third basin 
 of rice with a mixture of unabated zest and 
 leeks and other terrible looking accompani- 
 ments. 
 
 Just then a voice said, ' If you wish to 
 examine me, I'm quite willing.' It was the 
 Boat which spoke. It had shown itself very 
 friendly from the beginning — in fact, the Three 
 Men had been quite carried away by its friend- 
 liness. 
 
 ' You're very kind,' said Billy. ' You've 
 got quite a long prow,' he went on ; ' it's at 
 least a quarter of your length.' 
 
 ' Yes,' replied the Boat ; ' but then, you see, 
 I've got a lot of coolies to find beds for at 
 night on that. The Cook has his kitchen 
 164 
 
JUST DISPOSING OF HIS THIRD BASIN OF RICE. 
 
A FAREWELL LOOK AT OUR 'HOUSE 165 
 
 there too, and sometimes twenty men have 
 to stand on it to row. You see, you Three 
 have got at least half my length for your- 
 selves and Fu, and so the only place for the 
 coolies is on the prow, because the Captain 
 has his quarters at the back. Just have a 
 walk round — I'U tell you all you want to 
 know.' 
 
 The httle Boat's obliging offer was accepted, 
 and BiUy thanked him. 
 
 ' I'll begin at this end now I'm here,' said he. 
 
 ' You see,' the Boat remarked, ' I have a 
 square prow curving round to an edge from 
 beneath instead of at the sides, as your boats 
 generally have.' 
 
 ' I see,' said Billy, feeling flattered that he 
 should be thought an owner of boats. ' The 
 result may be that you shoot over the water 
 just as easily as our boats shoot through it. 
 You've got as it were two helms,' he went on, 
 ' this long sweep in front and the rudder at 
 the back.' 
 
 ' Yes,' said the Boat ; ' the long sweep at 
 the front is very useful, and with such a giant 
 as the Pirate Chief to man it, I generally feel 
 pretty sure of my water. We use it frequently 
 to help to keep me out in the stream when the 
 coolies are pulling at an awkward angle, such 
 as Qtherwise might land me on the bank. 
 
166 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOAT 
 
 Then of course there's the rudder — we have a 
 special man for that.' 
 
 ' What is the length of your oars ? ' asked 
 Billy. ' They must be quite twenty feet.' 
 
 ' I've never measured them,' said the Boat, 
 ' but I dare say you're about right. They are 
 long, aren't they,' he remarked proudly. 
 
 ' What are these for ? ' said Billy, pointing 
 to two poles about twelve feet in length looking 
 Uke those used for scaffolding. 
 
 ' Oh, they help to keep me from getting too 
 close to the shore when we put up for the night. 
 I'm glad they use them. There's nothing I 
 dread more than being stranded. I feel hke 
 a fish out of water.' 
 
 'Your old Cook looks a funny chap down 
 in his well-hole stirring his rice,' laughed 
 Billy. 
 
 ' Funny ! what do you mean ? ' said the 
 Boat ; ' he's a splendid cook. He could cook 
 more rice in a day than the men could eat in 
 three.' 
 
 ' I didn't mean to say anything against him,' 
 said Billy gravely, for the Uttle Boat spoke in 
 a very dignified manner. ' I've no doubt he 
 is as good as any of our English cooks. In 
 fact, I don't believe any of them can drink 
 soup as hot as he can, and I'm quite sure they 
 couldn't eat so much. But I wish he wouldn't 
 
A FAREWELL LOOK AT OUR 'HOUSE' 167 
 
 burn that horrid mixture of coal-dust and earth. 
 It gets down our throats and nearly chokes 
 us with its sulphurous fumes.' 
 
 ' You're not used to it,' remarked the Uttle 
 Boat loftily ; ' it never troubles me.' 
 
 ' What do you keep under the prow ? ' 
 asked Billy. 
 
 ' The men keep their beds and other belongings 
 there, and your oil is stowed away there too. 
 Split my mast ! ' exclaimed the Boat sud- 
 denly, ' that's a good breeze. My sail will 
 have to go up.' And before very long the 
 Chancellor of the Exchequer and the Pirate 
 Chief had the sail stretched to its fullest 
 extent. 
 
 ' That's a big sail for your size,' Billy 
 ventured to remark. ' I should say at a guess 
 that it measures about twenty feet by ten.' 
 
 ' Yes, it's too strong for me if we get a very 
 high wind. But then, you know, it's seldom 
 we get a breeze big enough to fill it.' 
 
 ' I think I'd like to go through and see the 
 other end now,' said BiUy. 
 
 ' Do ; come along, only the Old Lady and 
 the children are there now. The Captain's 
 yonder.' 
 
 Billy looked up to the roof of the Houseboat 
 where the Captain sat, curled up like a 
 monkey. The first thing that attracted atten- 
 
168 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HOUSEBOA T 
 
 tion in the Captain's quarters was the big 
 gong. 
 
 ' Oh ! ' said Billy, ' this is what nearly deafens 
 us every night with its booming, is it ? ' 
 
 ' Yes,' said the Boat ; " we beat that every 
 iiight to frighten away evil spirits. They're 
 very dangerous at night.' 
 
 ' Don't you think if you were quieter that 
 they would have more trouble to find you in 
 the dark ? ' asked Billy, with a touch of irony 
 in his voice. 
 
 ' Oh, no,' repUed the Boat ; ' they are afraid 
 of the noise.' 
 
 In a conspicuous place were the Penates 
 of the Boat, whose duty it is to watch over the 
 occupants, and keep them safe from wreck 
 and other mishaps. 
 
 ' They are your gods ? ' asked Billy, looking 
 inquiringly at the ugly images. 
 
 ' Yes,' rephed the Boat ; " we should not dare 
 to sail without them — we should have bad luck 
 all the way.' 
 
 ' Are you certain of that ? ' inquired Billy. 
 
 ■ Oh, yes ; the Captain says so, and he ought 
 to know, oughtn't he ? ' 
 
 ' True,' said Billy, ' he ought to know ; I wish 
 he did.' 
 
 Just then an excited call from Uncle Sam 
 brought the examination to a conclusion. 
 
A FAREWELL LOOK AT OUR 'HOUSE' 169 
 
 ' There is the Customs ! ' shouted Uncle Sam ; 
 ' we shall arrive at Chungking this evening.' 
 
 Excitement forthwith reigned on the little 
 Boat, and preparations to break up the happy 
 home went on at a great rate. Uncle Sam was 
 rushing about with his handkerchief roimd 
 his head, packing his goods. The Old Man 
 and Billy had an important function to perform, 
 and at once set about it with sundry gibes from 
 Uncle Sam, who asked them whether they 
 thought a razor would be strong enough for 
 the operation. They, however, went calmly 
 on, and in a few minutes even Uncle Sam was 
 moved to admire the transformation. The 
 Old Man had quite lost his ursine appearance, 
 and no one would have thought of billiard 
 balls or ginger in connexion with Billy. 
 
 Meanwhile the boat had been steadily near- 
 ing Chungking, and at about half-past five in 
 the evening they found themselves close to 
 the City. Chungking is, up to the present, the 
 most inland of the open ports. It stands 
 about fifteen hundred miles up the Yang-tse 
 Kiang on a peninsula formed by the junction 
 of the Fu River with the Yang-tse. There is 
 always a vast crowd of boats here, and the 
 river population must number thousands. 
 The inhabitants of Chungking are supposed to 
 be about seven hundred and fifty thousand. 
 
1 70 THREE MEN ON A CHINESE HO USEBOA T 
 
 Commerce is in a flourishing condition, electric 
 light and other luxuries are to be found here, 
 and the Chinese of Chungking pride themselves 
 on living quite in the heart of things. The 
 travellers did not know all this when they 
 arrived on that auspicious afternoon, but they 
 found this new entrance into life and activity 
 a welcome change after the quiet seclusion 
 of the previous month. 
 
 And now the excitement reaches high-water 
 mark. Uncle Sam is expecting Mr. Plum to 
 come and meet him, while the Old Man and 
 BiUy are on the look out for Mr. Fragrant, 
 neither of whom is known to the Three Men. 
 However, here come two boats with three 
 foreigners, one in one boat aiid two in the 
 other, and there is much wondering as to who 
 is who. Which two are Mr. Plum and Mr. 
 Fragrant, and which is which of them, and 
 who is the third ? These surmises are put 
 to an end at last by the arrival of Mr. Plum 
 in the boat by himself, and then questions 
 and greetings follow as fast and heartily as 
 though they had known each other for years. 
 Uncle Sam discovers that his destination is 
 some distance away, and prepares to depart. 
 Meanwhile, Mr. Fragrant has arrived in the 
 company of Mr. Sea, whose name also is fragrant 
 in the hearts of many who have experienced 
 
A FAREWELL LOOK AT OUR 'HOUSE' 171 
 
 the kindness of himself and his wife in their 
 coming and going through Chungking. 
 
 But now Uncle Sam has to go with Mr. 
 Plum. ' Well, good-bye Uncle ; " Parting is 
 such sweet sorrow," as saith the poet, but it 
 brings us nearer to our work.' And so Uncle 
 Sam goes with Mr. Plum, and this journal, 
 being the history of Three Men on a Chinese 
 Houseboat, must therefore end. 
 
 Printed in th« Vnitad Suim af AstrlM. 
 

 
 
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