.g^^\^ isi ^^f:'':m^^f^ a^- .:^ '.'■ Cornell University Library BX3705 .S82 Novitiate or, a year amonjg the Enalsh olin 3 1924 029 412 917 Cornell University Library The original of tliis book is in tine Cornell University Library. There are no known copyright restrictions in the United States on the use of the text. http://www.archive.org/details/cu31924029412917 THE NOYITIATE; OB, A YEAR AMONG THE ENGLISH JESUITS.- THE NOVITIATE; OR, A TEAB AMONG THE ENGLISH JESUITS: A PERSONAL NARRATIVE. WITH AN ESSAY ON THE CONSTITUTIONS, Cde Canfessional jKtoralits, anii l^tstors ot t^e Jfesuits. BY ANDKEW STEINMETZ. * Nor aught so good, but strain'd from that fair use, Revolts from true birth, stumbling on abuse 1" Romeo and Juliet^ Act. II. Scma III, LONDON: SMITH, ELDER AND CO., 65, COENHILL. 1846. London : Printed by STEWiar and Mcbhat, Old Bailey. PEEFACE. A TRUNCATED biography, like a cone in the same condition, seems to require some account of the eliminated section. The author must disclose so much of his previous history, as will be necessary to enable the reader to comprehend, and duly to appre- ciate, the events that must, to a great extent, be intimately connected with the former. The past, the present, and the future in the life of man, are three interjections in one and the same sentence : and the reader whose heart can sympathise with the feeling indicated by the first, will respond, like the vibration of the musical string, to the sigh that saddens the second in the dirge of life. I was born in an island situated between the tropics — a Swedish colony. My parents were of German and French origin : at the time of my birth, and long after, they were sufficiently wealthy. VI PREFACE. My father was a "liberal" Protestant, my mother not a "bigoted" Catholic: still, of six children five were devoted to the baptism of Rome, and only one conceded to that of Luther. To my seventh year, I was permitted to grow in health and strength, unmolested by study of any kind. Scorched and tanned by the vertical fierce sun of the tropics ; battling ever and anon with the wild waves, and borne on their crests as they lashed the rocks of our sea-girt isle — with hook and line, seated on some solitary boulder, the waves breaking around — or with my father sailing in our pleasure-boat far out to sea, on that ocean which I had so often to cross in after life — or engaged in some handy-work at home, learning to use every mechanical tool — for my father prided himself in being able to work at every trade, self-taught : such was my childhood. In my tenth year I lost my father. In my twelfth my mother took me from school, and consigned me to the care of a priest to prepare me for my first communion ; or as she said, " to break me in." The dogmas of the faith were then imparted to me for the first lime. The seeds of religion sank deep in the virgin soil — I embraced the faith with rapture — went to confession every week, and to communion every fortnight. Such was the result of two months, exclusively dedicated to the study of religion in the house of the priest. With religious fervour came PREFACE. VU zeal for the conversion of heretics. I studied contro- versy. In my twelfth year I strove to propagate the faith. I attacked the forlorn hope of my father's re- ligion — my elder sister; and she was converted to the faith of Rome. I often think of the day when she surrendered to me her poor Common-Prayer Book to be transferred to the priest, at his request — then to be consigned emendaturis ignibus, to the cleansing fires ! My mother destined me for the medical profession : I studied it two years, vowing myself, meanwhile, to the priesthood. I obtained her consent, at length, and was sent to England. At St. Cuthbert's Col- lege, commonly called Ushaw, near Durham, I re- mained rather more than five years. Within the first year after my arrival, I lost my mother: and then my nigLt of bitterness began — every letter I received from my home gave a pang! By intense application to study, and increased devotional fervour, I strove to forget the fate that impended. I was now a poor student on the funds of the college — pledged to the priesthood. Tolerable suc- cess in my studies tended to soothe the pangs of pride in humiliation. Controversy continued to be my favourite study. Tt cost me " the faith." I argued myself into doubts. By my nineteenth year I had read more than the course of studies required, or allowed, in classic and VUl PHEFACE. general literature ; in natural and moral philosophy : for I have never lost a day in idleness of mind since the hour vrhen I first went to school, in my seventh year. About this period a hope flashed on my mind, that I might be able, by returning to the world, to re- trieve the fortunes of my family. This hope sounded a truce to my temptations against the faith, from which I longed to escape by a life of action ; and I resolved to resign the certainties of the priesthood for the hopes of my dreams. The reader is now in possession of all the informa- tion h^ requires, concerning my previous history. In the Narrative that follows, he will find the next stage of my journey, — " While still pursuing, still unblest, I wander on, nor dare to rest !" Andrew Steinmetz. Fakeriham, Nin-folh. Feb. 1846. CONTENTS. CHAPTER 1. Page Inlioduction ,1 CHAPTER II. The Inspiration, and Reception at Stonyhurst ... 8 CHAPTER III. Impressions .... r .... 16 CHAPTER IV. Admission to the Novitiate 25 CHAPTER V. The Three Houses : Ways and Means : Silent Influences — Progress 32 a K CONTENTS. CHAPTER v.* Page The Retreat — Doubts and Wavering — The Investment and Blessing 49 CHAPTER VI. The Novice — A Contemplation — Results .... 78 CHAPTER VII. A Day's Occupation ....... 91 CHAPTER VIII. Cui Bono, or What's the Good of it? . . . .117 CHAPTER IX. EcOLomics of the Novitiate — The Master, Minister, Monitors . . . . . . . . 135 CHAPTER X. Gaires — Recreation — Missionary Duties . . . 166 CHAPTER XI. Effects of the Training 182 CHAPTER XII. The Feast of Ignatius ....... 191 CHAPTER XIII. Dryness — Remarkable Cure — Opinions . . . .217 CONTENTS. XI CHAPTER XIV. Page Visits from Friends — Letters — Festivities — Strangers' Retreats 229 CHAPTER XV. Mortifications — Reprimands — Briefs — The Chapter — Manifestation 238 CHAPTER XVr. The Chain— the Discipline, Fasting, &c 248 CHAPTER XVII. Reflections — The Superior's Retreat — A General Order —A Pang 259 CHAPTER XVHI. Interview with the Provincial — Les Adieux — A Blessing and a Prayer — The Departure ..... 266 An Essay on the Constitutions, the Confissional Morality, AND History of the Jesuits : Introduction ...... Ignatius of Loyola — The Society — Its Rise The Society — Its Constitutions — Progress The Society — Its Decline and Fall . The Society — Its Present State The Jesuits in England 275 278 287 337 367 368 THE NOVITIATE. CHAPTER I. INTRODUCTION. The following narrative is an autobiography; with this distinction, that it is only the history of one year of my life — only twelve months : but a year of pecu- liar interest in a man's life, it must be allowed. Dur- ing that time of trial, what opportunities of self-exami- nation have I not had ? In it I lived over again the past — I sought to anticipate the future. Separated from the world, from kindred, and friends — from all the ordinary pursuits and objects of life — from their anxieties, hopes, and fears — I gazed upon the world as a dispassionate observer, who was to mix in its concerns, perhaps take an active part in its manage- ment, without entertaining a thought of self, or having any individual interest to forward. I was trained in spirit as men are trained in body who have to struggle desperately for mastery, or to per- -6 INTEODUCTIOX. form feats which seem impossible to ordinary mortals. The novice of the Society of Jesus has to pierce into his own mind, to examine the depths of his natm-e, to consider his affections, to feed (so to speak) on his own heart. He has wrenched himself from father and mother, brother and sister, friends and connec- tions — in a word, from society, root and branch, in order to be reconstituted as an individual, according to the plan and system laid down by Ignatius of Loyola. His battle has been with "nocturnal fear" and " the noon-day devil ;" he has wrestled with the angel ; he has gone through the fires of temptation ; and if he has not become a Jesuit, he can look back dispassionately on the process through which he has passed ; and, perhaps, instruct his fellow-creatures with the narrative of his experience, without indulg- ing any ill will towards those who permitted him to try their method. It is this that I purpose to do in these pages. My object is truth alone. I desire to exhibit the Jesuits and their course of instruction exactly as I found them and it. I have no motive for conceal- ment or exaggeration. It has been usual to exhibit the men among whom for a time my lot was cast, as either angels or devils; I shall merely represent them as I found them. I would rather that my statements should be accused of wanting interest than attempt to make them startling by the insertion of fictitious details. I leave others to furnish materials for romance. My aim is less to amuse the idle, than to afford information to those serious and earnest INTRODUCTION. tj minds, who, surveying the rapid growth and expan- sion of Jesuit power, ask whether the movement is for good or for evil — who would fain know something authentic of the training, organization, and govern- ment of that tremendous Society, which once enacted so great a part in the history of the world, and now again appearing on the scene, changed to suit the changes of the world — adapted to its new wants, wishes, conditions, trials, and temptations — aims once more to obtain supremacy over the mind and actions of mankind. At the same time, I trust that there is no breach of confidence in divulging the doings of the Novi- tiate; since the object of all the discipline of train- ing-houses of every description being honest and honourable, there can be no rational objection to the means being known to all the world. No promise was exacted from me to that effect; therefore, it is to be presumed, the reverend fathers were not ashamed of anything that took place in the Novitiate — at least, I hope not. Since I left the Novitiate, I have often spoken of my experience to my friends, and, as they have been interested with my recital, I have imagined that a narrative of my spiritual training and progress, under the influence of the famous "Exercises" of Ignatius, may be instructive at this time, when pious people seem to be convulsed all over the world — yearning after change, desirous of novelty, uncertain what to do with their souls. Let them not fancy that the Jesuits will be inactive spectators of any movement 4 INTEODUCTION. that takes place in the religious or political constitu- tions of the world. They are spread abroad over the earth ; they are mixing in all societies ; they have their institutions in the midst of the most crowded marts of life. People must not imagine that the "Wandering Jew" has demolished the Society more eflPectually than the "Provincial Letters" of old ; and still less must they opine that the severe measures against the Jesuits in France have mate- rially damaged the " cause" — far from it : the hydra will put forth more heads than have been lopped off; and, what is more, I will venture to predict that the secret machinations of the redoubtable conspirators will, before very long, be found to have given them a pretty solid foundation even in this country, the bul- waik of Protestantism. The Jesuits are tough fellows ; every man amongst them has all the strong motives for action, which give force, energy, intention to the whole body, and the whole body moves as one man. To my mind the Jesuits, or rather Loyola, has devised a system which gives to his sons all the properties which the Creator has given to "matter:" that is, the true Jesuit has mobility, divisibility, malleability, compressibility, tenacity, elasticity, and porosity. It is to all these mental qualities of these wonderful workers that we must ascribe their signal triumphs in every quarter of the globe, and their greatness even in defeat and desolation. They have such fascination that their deadliest enemies have, in the moment of their extreme peril, declared them- selves their "friends indeed." Witness the conduct INTRODUCTION. 6 of the Russian cabinet at the time of their suppres- sion : the very power which had pertinaciously re- sisted and proscribed their attempts, received them with open arms when rejected, even from the paternal bosom of the " Holy Father," who disowned his best supporters ! It is no wonder that these men look ,upon themselves as the objects of special Provi- dence, and walk forward, muffled in portentous gloom, to the grand consummation which they still believe will make amends for their past humiliation. But that gloom is a blind only to their enemies: there is a beacon-light in their van, — they fancy, at least, that they see it, and they march on confident of victory. I confess that I cannot refrain from admiring the unflinching tenacity of these men. To the philo- sopher there can be but one opinion with regard to their practices, doctrines, and morality ; but putting these questions aside, I propose to show them forth in a psychological and social point of view : how they twist and wreneh, and bend and dove-tail poor humanity to serve their purposes, that is: " For the greater glory of God" — the standing motto, as every one knows, of the Jesuits. Bold or submissive — firm as a rock, or pliant as a willow— the Jesuit must know his "time for all things" — when a virtue must be possessed or feigned, or a vice be absent or dissembled. Thus without, he is a Proteus of wonderful versatility — within, always and for ever the same — man of o&erfience— fashioned INTRODUCTION. and trained in heart and mind strongly to will, and promptly to act — and yet, if it| should seem more expedient, content to bide his time ! He has had certain principles of action drilled into him over and over again ; he has been made to acquire a perfect mastery over himself; he has been set to study him- self before the mirror of perpetual self-examination ; he has been humbled to the very dust in ten thou- sand trials, in all which he has stood firm to the test; he has been "inspired" with the belief — as firm as his belief in God — that obedience to his superior can never be wrong; he has been impressed with the conviction that he has no tie on earth or in society, but to his order: something more than a nominis umbra — indeed, its very name is guaranteed immor- tality, by the exalted source of its derivation ! Again, the Jesuit is a. picked man. No one will be admitted into the Novitiate, who is the least de- formed; he must be guiltless of any public or noto- rious crime; he should be born in lawful wedlock. He must have talent of some kind : rather more than average abilities. For the rest, it will be shown hereinafter, what care they take to teach the novice the useful art of "behaving himself in company." Talk of "Hints on Etiquette!" The Jesuits can show you a huge folio on the subject, written for the study of the novices by one of their own Society ; which, as all the world knows, can boast of writers on every subject from the most trivial to the most important. INTRODUCTION. I shall have occasion to speak of the origin and progress of this Society, but I have first to narrate the commencement of my personal connectioa with it. CHAPTER II. THE INSPIRATION, AND EECEPTION AT STONYHUEST. I SHALL never forget the glow of enthusiasm that sent the blood rushing through my heart when I first conceived the idea of becoming a Jesuit. It was in London — in Fleet-street. I can point out the very stone of the pavement on which I stood at that eventful moment. Hardly an instant was given for consideration. The idea took complete possession of my mind, and I believed it to be an inspiration. I turned on my heel, wended my way to street, knocked, was admitted, and stood in the presence of a — Jesuit, for the first time in my life. My resolve, though it assumed the character of religious enthusiasm, was not, I must confess, wholly free from worldly feelings. My position at that time may be stated in the very words which I addressed to the agent of the J esuits. I was in a strange land, disappointed in all my hopes, friendless, despairing; and — with every reason, as I thought, to be so — dis- THE INSPIRATION. 9 gusted with the world — ay, disgusted with this beau- tiful world, which offers an equal share of bliss to all, if we would only learn to adapt our minds to the state in which we find ourselves, and would fall back, in the very midst of the worst destiny, on the sooth- ing, and, I may say, proud conviction, that because we are permitted to live, therefore are we the fa- voured retainers of a beneficent Providence, which has some work for us to do. The reverend gentleman listened to my animated address apparently with interest. When I con- cluded, he put several questions to me respecting my former life, the place where I was educated, and finished with assuring me that, if I could get testi- monials of my good conduct from the president of the college in which I had been brought up, there was every probability of my being received into the Novitiate. In the mean time he advised me to go to the library of the British Museum and read the " Constitutions of the Society." He promised me that he would write to the Provincial on the subject, but said that some time would elapse before a final answer would be given. " Still," he added, " you may hope for the best." If my enthusiasm was great before I entered the house, it was transcendent when I left! Despair was changed into hope ! I looked up to Heaven, and breathed a fervent prayer of thanksgiving. I blessed the misfortunes that had hurled me into poverty, apparently but to lead me to the destiny which was appointed for me by Heaven. 10 THE INSPIEATION, AND It is singular how great a change was wrought in my feelings by this brief interview with the reverend father. His hopeful words, acting on my mind then excited to the highest pitch of religious enthu- siasm, made me believe myself under the especial guidance of Providence : this belief affected the course of my conduct, and made even trivial cir- cumstances appear to me direct interpositions of Heaven. I was aware that I could not enter the library of the Museum without a recommendation ; but I did not hesitate to enter boldly, search the catalogues, and write for the book I wanted. I was now in the hands of Providence ; and the barriers of human will, against such a motive, were as nought. One must have felt this species of enthusiasm to compre- hend it in its fullest extent. I was not disappointed. The book was brought to me without a question. I considered this trivial incident as another Divine interposition. I read with avidity the pages which were to me a new Gospel or " good tidings" of the happy vocation to which I was called: nay, as I conceived, predestined; for I now clearly discovered that every circumstance of my life was but a link of the celestial chain that extended from my birth to the bosom of Ignatius ! Week after week I called on the agent, but no answer had been sent. My visits were short, but still long enough for scrutinising questions as to my " vocation." I stood the test — my enthusiasm had increased, not diminished. Though, strange to say, RECEPTION AT STONYHUEST. 11 I had read every book that had been written against the Jesuits, and saw reason to believe many of the charges, still I set them all aside with this sincere exclamation : " Whatever they have been, or are, Heaven calls me to this Society. I, at least, will be an honest Jesuit !" At length an answer came — I was accepted ! "Thank God!" said I to the agent, "then I have not lived in vain I" But, medio defonte leporum- — surgit amari aliquid ; I was in debt for my lodgings! When aware of my circumstances, the agent gave me the requisite sum of money — thus, thought I, Heaven has repurchased ray body as it had my soul ! I was affected to tears by my emotion, and by the mark of confidence and regard which was given me on the threshold of my Novitiate. In the month of February, 1838, I left London for Stonyhurst. — the world for religion — myself for " the phantom of hope !" On reaching Liverpool, my first visit was to a priest who had been my master of elocution at college. With this kind gentleman I spent a plea- sant day. My fervour was increased by his rehgious and philosophical conversation. On the foUovying day, I set out once more for Stonyhurst — my first stage being to Blackburn. I arrived at Blackburn in the afternoon; and, not having money enough to pay for a conveyance, I left my trunk, and set out on foot for the college, ten or twelve miles distant. It was a brilliant frosty 12 THE INSPIRATION, AND night of February. The silent stars looked down on my pilgrimage as the eyes of approving Heaven. Oh ! what a future seemed opening before me ! I felt as Ignatius must have felt when he set forth to dedicate his body and soul to "our Lady of Montserrat •" but I regretted that I had no arms to hang up on her altar as trophies of the " Queen of Heaven."* ,^ Accustomed to long walks from one end of Lon- don to the other, I felt my strength redoubled by the hopes whose first earnest of fulfilment was now in my grasp — my admission to the Novitiate ! Mile after mile on the frost-flinty road I n^ea- sured — my thoughts far away in the brilliant future. In spite of my inquiries at the few cottages I passed, I missed my way twice — till at last the towers of the ancient mansion cast their lengthened shadows towards me, as the moon, declining to the west, lavished upon their aged heads that inspiring light in which " ruined battlement and tower" seem to dream of " other days" — seem to meditate their history, pensively, sadly, as one whose regrets awake no kindred feeling of pity or of love. I knocked, was admitted, and led to a parlour, where I did not wait many minutes before one of the Fathers made his appearance. He was the rector of the college at that time — a man of mild, bland features, and tender expression. He has since then been sent forth to the vineyard, and has had the gratification, as I have been informed, to " re- * BouHOUBs — La Vie de St. Ignace, liv. i. HECEPTION AT STONYHUEST. 13 ceive into the church" more than one, or two, or three of the Tractarian harvest I was received with welcome, and congratulated on my zeal which had not grudged a walk of twelve miles in the holy cause. " Welcome to the Society of Jesus !" said the gentleman just alluded to, cordially grasping my hand — and his kind manner compen- sated for the uncouth bluntness of another Jesuit who came in shortly after. A good supper was kindly prepared for me ; and after a short conversation — for the Fathers commise- rated my long walk — I was shown to my room — to sleep and dream of my happy lot! On the following day, which was Sunday, I " offered up the mass" in thanksgiving for the glo- rious vocation which was vouchsafed unto me ; never doubting that I had at length found the destiny to which I was born, and had only "to go forth and conquer." On the Monday I was formally enrolled : my name, age, &c., being recorded in the book kept for that purpose. After the lapse of two days, which I spent very agreeably with the reverend fathers, I was told that my room was ready to receive me at the Novitiate, and that the " Father of the Novices" would be glad to see me as soon as possible. I must state that I had passed much of my time since my arrival with different " Fathers," whose care was to prepare my mind for my future life in the Novi- tiate, and to observe my character, according to the custom of the Jesuits. 14 THE INSPIRATION, AND The " Constitutions" require twelve or twenty dayS) and even a longer period, as the Superior may think fit, to be spent by the future novice in this preli- minary probation. Formerly a separate part of the establishments was consecrated to this ordeal. No intercourse was permitted with any one not deputed by the Superior, and those who had the candidate in charge were to instruct him in those concerns of the Society which he might safely know; whilst by the same intercourse the Society would become more fully cognisant of his character "in our Lord."* This is a convenient set-phrase which may be called the talisman of Ignatius ; for almost every page of the " Constitutions" iterates it with such seeming so- lemnity, that one is well nigh apt to believe that the " Constitutions" are one thing, and the Jesuits another — a belief to which I admit my inclination. Notwithstanding the rule of the " Constitutions" just given, I was not kept longer than three days as a " guest :" very few questions were put to me. I could gain but little information concerning the Society from my companions; so that although my time passed, so to speak, very agreeably, I was not sorry when I received the order to start for the Novi- tiate. I think I am fully justified in saying, in the introduction, that the Order is changed to suit the changes of society : perhaps the sequel will further attest this judgment. The changes may be small, but they show a clever adaptability to meet the re- * Const. Part i. cap, 4. et Decl. A. Part i. RECEPTION AT STONYHUBST. 15 quirements of the age. If the Jesuit owes his youth to the spirit of the " Constitutions," he has to thank the obloquy of fame, the design of his order, his segregation from humanity, for his manhood — that manhood which no honest man envies in the miud of him whose greatness stoops to craft — whose virtue dallies with vice — whose gifts to humanity are bribes to the frivolous, and whose religion, if it is not the ad- vancement, the aggrandizement of his order, is cer- tainly the lever which is made to work to that un- conquerable lust of his burning heart — that advance- ment, that aggrandizement of his order ! 16 CHAPTER III. IMPRESSIONS. The impression made on my mind by the " Fathers" of the Society, at my first interview and in subse- quent conversations, was by no means such as I had expected to receive from the sons of Igisatius. Bona- parte said,"Qu'il nefaut jamais se faire de tableaux;" but I am a physiognomist : I love a fine face, and still more a fine head. Aware of what the " Constitutions" require on that score, I was disappointed with the specimens of Jesuits who had me in charge for the few days before I went to Hodder-house. I had pictured them to myself as keen-eyed, quick, and intellectual: I found them generally the reverse. This may, per- haps, be accounted for by the fact (which should be known), that the Jesuits in England send out their best men to work " in the vineyard;" apparently con- scious that, if the out-posts be well defended, the inner fortress must be secure. The agent in London and the Provincial were thus exceptions. The former, from the very first interview, seemed to me a some- thing of former days : there was that in his flashing IMPRESSIONS. 17 eye, massive brows, and dark features, which told a history to come that might be not unlike the past. He was a man of few words, and spoke without " su- perlatives," according to the practice of Ignatius.* He seemed to me a man of strong passions, and yet emi- nently prudent. His glance was vivid, but it did not centre in my eyes : it fell somewhere below the eye- lids. I never enjoyed that pleasure, to me most gra- tifying, of mingling glance with glance in the heart's uprightness. His exterior, though rather portly, was imposing from its altitude ; and he sat like one whose mind is never idle, and whose portrait, if taken by a hundred different pencils, would still present in each the same expression — like that of Dr. Johnson, or Napoleon. Of his acquirements I was unable to judge, my visits being very short — shorter than I wished. Of his natural endowments I am perfectly convinced : he has tact, energy, and penetration. His extreme caution was exhibited in the fact, that he positively refused to apply for an introduction to the library of the Museum for me : " he did not wish to come forward." I asked him to lend me the " Constitutions ;" this, he said, he was not allowed to do.f Hence my successful attempt to " dispense" with the regulations of the library — an attempt which would be very difficult in the present organization of the reading-room. A curious incident, which I will now relate, may enable the reader to appreciate, according to its true * Boubours, La Vie de St. Ignace, lir. vi. t According to Rule xxsvui, C 18 IMPRESSIONS. Standard value, much of the Jesuit-discipline to be detailed in the sequel : — At the agent's request I wrote for testimonials to St, Cuthbert's college,stating to the president my intention of joining the society. I forgot to give my address in the letter; and not having received the reply on the expected day, I went to the agent to tell him of my disappointment. On being admitted, he pointed to a letter on the mantelpiece ; I opened it and found that it was the president's letter, I read it off to the Jesuit ; it began with stating why it was sent to the agent's well-known address, viz., on account of my omission ; and proceeded to testify that, in the absence of any moral fault, I had given indications of considerable mental extravagance, impatience to discipline, &c. ; ^nd he left it to the agent to decide whether my sub- sequent trials in the world had sobered my mind to the requisite submission, Having read the letter aloud, I handed it to my judge, saying, " Will this ' character' do, sir ?" " Certainly," said he ; " these are not impediments : means will be given you in the Novitiate to conquer and govern your mind."* I should, perhaps, inform the reader that I had already presented my testimonials of success in my academical career at college. I often tried to gain his ideas on his profession ; but a very laconic answer, which referred me to the * This opinion was perfectly in accordance with the declar, b. Parti, cap, 3, Const. Sed quia accidere posset, aliquem hujusmodi defectum aliis praeclaris Dei donis compensari, &c. IMPEESSIONS. 19 " Constitutions," was all that I could ever get from him. I remember, on one occasion, I alluded to the charges made against the Society. " What do they accuse us of?" said he, freezingly. I was rather star- tled by this apparent ignorance, and, in self-defence, stumbled on the Paraguay affair. " It is all false, sir," said he, " from beginning to end ;" and he began to give me some spiritual advice. This is curious ; but the fact is, I believe, that the Jesuits are, for the most part, kept in total ignorance of their own history in general. A discretion is used in this matter, as in the permission to read the Scriptures generally among Roman Catholics ; and only " the great and glorious deeds" of Holy Father Ignatius (as he is called, par excellence) of Father Xaviee, Father Campion, Fa- ther Parsons, &c., are familiar to the uninitiated. I say uninitiated ; for the members of the society, like the wheels in a clock, have different stations, more or less removed from the main-spring ; and it is only after a long and severe probation that the favoured members are admitted to the grand concerns of this mysterious body.* Even the spiritual books written by accredited Roman Catholic divines are not permitted to be read * Primum ne libellus iste (Compendium Privilegiorum) uspians rursus typis sine permissu nostro edatur. Deinde ut exemplaria, quffi singulis Domibus et CoUegiis distribui curavimus, ut Superiorum, et Consultm'um Usui priEcipu£ inserriaut: in suis quaeque Domibus, et CoUegiis semper retineantur, nee inde ad alia looa asportentur. Pote- I'unt tamen cum facultate Provincialis commodato nostris ad ea perle- genda concedi — sic tamen, ut diligenter prius admoneantur, ne ea cir- cumferantur, neve ostendantur, et multo magis, ne dentur externis. Ordin. Prsep. Gen. c. xi. c 2 20 IMPRESSIONS. without extreme caution. I need not state the fact,' that no Jesuit is allowed to read a book without the permission of his superiors ;* this is an all-important rule of the " Institute." The Provincial I saw seldom, except at meals, dur- ing the fevf days in question ; and but very few words passed, otherwise than professional, when he admitted me into the society. He seemed eminently a man of business, and one who knew the value of a flattering hint ; for when, on referring to the Jesuit calendar of remarkable socii, he observed the name of the one for that day — which, as chance would have it, was just the halfoi my own patronymic f — he wished me joy of the good omen, and shook hands with gratifying emo- tion. I afterwards met him in the Novitiate, when he spoke very feelingly on the downfall of the society. But, for the most part, I saw few indications of talent, or even of extensive information, amongst the " Fathers" introduced to me. To one of them I put the question, " How it happened that, amongst so many clever men of the society, no triumphant answer was put forth to meet the ' Provincial Letters' of Pas- cal ?" « There was," said he ; " but Father Daniel's reply was heavy — it lacked the wit of Pascal." I ex- pected this answer, and dropped the subject. The same gentleman was, I remember, very anxious to prepare my mind to submit, as he said, to the Novi- tiate. One of his remarks I think worth recording. He said — " Sir, I am only anxious lest a mind, used to inquiry, should compel you to ask too frequently, • Eeg, viii. f Andrew Metz, a German. IMPRESSIONS. 21 in the practices of the Novitiate, Cui bono ?" " But," said I, " the object — the end — how sublime ! — to the greater glory of God ! Shall I not thus answer the rebellious cui hone of pride ?" I was sincere, and he exulted in my devotion to the sacred cause. Whilst passing through the library of the " semi- nary," I observed some works on geology ; and upon my asking the " master" if he favoured a science so replete with strange inductions, he replied, " We must keep pace with the age ; these are eventful times ; we must be armed at all points." I must confess that, notwithstanding the kindness shown to me on all sides, my enthusiasm — nourished as it had been by the study of the " Constitutions" of the Society, and by preconceived ideas of Jesuit intellectuahty and austerity, — suffered considerable diminution during the iesv days that I spent as " a guest" at the college, previously to my entrance on probation. It was not, perhaps, the fault of the Je^' suits to whom I allude, that I found them less intel- lectual, less austere, than my ideal model; but it is in accordance with the promised scope of this narra- tive that I should signalise the minutest fact that can throw its reflected light on the system to which those men belong. In my intercourse with them, it was as- suredly their object to influence my mind so as to fall in with their views on every subject; — the conduct, the manners of each member, therefore, were to me the criterions of what the " training," which I was to undergo, had left in the Jesuits in question. From the 22 IMPRESSIONS, impressions made on my mind by the " Constitutions," I expected to find extraordinary virtue; from their history, I looked for extraordinary men : in both ex- pectations I was painfully disappointed. Few men could be more indulgent to poor human nature than I always have been, and am at the present time; but I was certainly " scandalised" at hearing, on the Sunday after my arrival, a daily newspaper read, over " our wine" after dinner. I was unedified at the irre- pressible merriment of one of the fathers, when ridi- culing the manner and expression of some absent individual on whom the conversation turned. Had I found these Jesuits as austere as La-Trappists, I should have been more at ease, with regard to my " vocation,? than I was at finding them, in the matter and manner of their conversation, passable " men of the world." Indications of bodily " mortifications" ■were certainly invisible : the men alluded to were de- cidedly well-conditioned, evidencing that the good things and comforts of this world are not always " of none effect" on the bodies of those whose minds are systematically devoted " to the greater glory of God." Whether the phenomena alluded to were equivocal — in fact, whether there was a "mental reservation" in what seemed of the world so worldly, — I will not un- dertake to decide. I state impressions : apparent incoD" sistencies, which damped the ardour of my enthusiastic devotion. On the other hand, turning to my own individual tastes and habits, there was much to console me — there was much to flatter hope. I was to live among IMPRESSIONS^ 23 men whose very name has become a pass-word to lite- rature — men who considered intellectual eminence worthy of emulation, and had the means, by seques- tration from the world and by ample wealth, of en- couraging every talent and predilection to their great- est development : by determined exercise, rendered doubly eflBcient by the soul-satisfying motives of conscience — the greater glory of God — the good of religion — the exaltation of the sublimest hopes that can warm the heart or guide the pen. I saw around me all the traces of dignity in ease. The time- honoured walls of the old lordly mansion, now a hall of literary pursuits ; the land and tenements attached — in times of old exclusively appropriated to the sup- port of individual wealth — perhaps, of pride and sen- suality, — now sanctified, so to speak, by being heaven- destined to administer to the corporeal necessities of those who had left all things in order to feed the souls of men unto eternal life. Such were my reflections. Applying them to my own motives — my own hopes, the sweetness at the heart which ensued easily in- duced me to overlook, to palliate, what seemed dis- cordant with the beautiful harmony which thus could unite in my imagination things human and divine : a harmony of all that is of heaven, heavenly ; with that only of earth which is rational and necessary — and no more. I have now given the reader a faithful reflection of my mind and sentiments at the time in question ; and I trust that all my subsequent conduct, as detailed in these pages, will be found consistent with this reflec- 24 IMPRESSIONS. tion. If I misled myself in the desperate step which I took, it is in my power now to make amends by a conscientious account of my experience during the year that followed my admission into the Society of the Jesuits : or, as I then fervently called it, the So- ciety of Jesus. 25 CHAPTER IV. ADMISSION TO THE NOVITIATE. At length, accompanied by two or three members of the Society, I went to " Hodder-house" — so the Novi- tiate is called. I was received at the door by the Father of the Novices, who seized my hand with rap- ture, kissed it, and, leading me to the little chapel, knelt down, to offer, I supposie, a thanksgiving similar to mine of the previous Sunday. I was much affected by the fervour of this venerable-looking man : his hair grey with age, and his countenance furrowed by care or religious mortifications. I found him throughout a kind, simple man ; but was always at a loss to imagine the cause of a perpetual sadness which dimmed his features. A " brother-novice" led me over the various parts of the house, and then I was introduced to all the novices, who were assembled in the " recreation- room." All the novices wore long black cassocks, with a strip of the material of which they were made hang- ing down from the shoulders : to typify, I believe, the 26 ADMISSION TO THE NOVITIATE. wings on which, by meditation, the soul soars to heaven. They had caps which seemed very much the worse for wear — a fact which was afterwards explained by another, viz., that for the sake of " mortification" the old clothes and cast-off habili- ments, &c., of the students at the college were consigned to the use of the novices. There was nothing, however, in their countenances that indicated excessive austerity, or much success in the art of looking religious ; which, of course, is to be acquired only by practice : by a/ier-practice, when the devout novice shall have been transformed into a devoted Jesuit, factus ad unguem, fashioned to a nicety — according to the memorable pattern exhibited by Ignatius to his followers, namely, "as soft wax in the hands of his superior, to take what form he pleases !" After this introduction, the novices left the room. I remained with the brother who had me in charge, and whose duty it was to apprise me of all the regula- tions of the establishment: the hours of rest and rising, the things that might and might not be done — in fine, he was to be my dictionary, my encyclo- pedia for the week, to be consulted on every emer- gency in my difficulties touching the " exact science" of probationary discipline. He was a little man, not very prepossessing in features, but nevertheless very obliging, and extremely attentive. I may observe here, by the way, that it was most unfortunate for my "vocation," as the result proved, that I could not harmonise with the men with whom I came into im- ADMISSION TO THE NOVlTIATJj;. 27 mediate contact : somehow or other, desideravire oculi quicguid, my mind or my heart always found something wanting; so that I was always, as it were, on a bed of thorns, even when in full devotional bloom. As the wintry evening had closed in, we remained at the fireside in the recreation-room, till the bell rang for supper. My companion then instantly rose, and rehearsed the Angelas; to which I responded as well as this sudden appeal to my religious memory (somewhat weakened by worldly pursuits) would allow, and then accompanied him to the refectory. The novices stood in front of the tables on both sides of the room ; — the Superior entered, went to his table near the fire-place, and said grace in Latin, the novices repeating the responses with ready exactness and solemn cadence. During supper I could not help observing that the novices never raised their eyes from the square foot of surface that included their plate and cup : this was " keeping custody of eyes," as I shall afterwards ex- plain more at large. I saw their faces, but they did not see mine ; so that, by sympathy, I imitated their pious demeanour, feeling, as it were, ashamed of my worldly curiosity. The silence, too — for not a word was spoken to ask for aught or in thanks for the supply — had a solem- nity in it which had never struck me before ; though, from my youth upwards, I had been accustomed to eat where " no talking was allowed." All that was needed was before us, or the vigilant " waiters" — 28 ADMISSION TO THE NOVITIATE. conscientious novices as they were — anticipated every want. As soon as the novelty of the scene had produced its first eflFect, my attention was directed to the reader, who was delivering to us the axioms on politeness alluded to in the introduction. These axioms were composed in Latin : good Ciceronian Latin ; which indeed most of the ancient Jesuits wrote on every topic prescribed or sanctioned by Holy Obe- dience. I regretted that I had not fallen in with that book before ; for at that period of my life, I was en- gaged in collecting the most remarkable axioms of all writers ancient and modern. The fact of this book being read to the novices was highly gratifying — I saw in it the presage of the men who were " to be armed at all points." .... When about half an hour had elapsed, or rather when all the novices had finished their meal, the Su- perior rose — a simultaneous but orderly rising of all the novices followed — grace was said and responded to — the Superior led the way, and we followed him to the chapel, where we remained for a few minutes, and thence proceeded to the recreation-room. All the novices knelt down on entering the room for a second or two, and then commenced the clatter of tongues, once more joyfully free. I have not a distinct remembrance of the topics discussed during that hour of recreation. One thing, however, was evident, there was nothing spoken that the most scrupulous ear could object to : the subjects mooted being either devotional, or Jesuitico-bistorical, ADMISSION TO THE NOVITIATE. 29 It was a strange sensation, that : I mean that pro- duced by being in the company of young, buoyant men, who did not blush in speaking of religion, and the practices of devotion ! It struck me at the time, as worthy of remark, how soon the human mind adapts itself to influences from without, after once the idea of uncompromising necessity is impressed upon the will. Here were youths who left college only the year before, — here were two full grown men who seemed to have known the world. They had spent but one year in the Novitiate, and yet they talked of the soul's, concerns as if they had passed their lives with Jerome in the " howling wilder- ness." Was it the necessity for talking only, on any subject, so urgent to those who are condemned to "solitary confinement" — that agony without death? or was it the suggestion, the interpretation of the soul now triumphant over the body and its lusts, in this solitude where the " flesh" was made — was com- pelled to be " obedient:" ay, "even unto death?" I am inclined to believe the latter opinion ; for I cannot think it possible, judging from my own ex- perience, that a novice under the Jesuits, can simu- late, or dissimulate, without detection, even if " un- converted" in that awful purgatory. Of this opinion, perhaps the reader will be convinced in due time. On the other hand, he must totally discard the idea that there was aught of melancholy or out- rageous cant in our conversations ; very far from it — we were rational on the most irrational absurdities ; 30 ADMISSION TO THE NOVITIATE. for we were, for the most part, young, unsophisticated ; with minds of wax, which the innate spirit of de- votion — that solace of every woe, — had complacently impressed with her beautiful image. On this first evening of my probation, I was gra- tified with the animated conversation on all sides : frequent peals of laughter resounded on my startled ear, — for the reader must be told that there are many amusing, highly exhilarating stories in the " Lives of the Saints," and in devotional " tradition ;" and surely it is as possible to laugh piously as it is to laugh profanely. But in the very midst of this en- joyment — at the very height of this reciprocal exul- tation of heart, suddenly a bell rang. This was my first lesson in the Novitiate. As if struck dumb, the syllable, half uttered, was cleft in twain, and a dead pause ensued. In silence we as- cended the stairs, and entered the chapel. We knelt. After the lapse of about ten or fifteen minutes, passed in silence, the Superior entered, and, kneeling on the steps of the altar, said the " Litany of the Virgin," and a few other short prayers, concluding with his blessing. Then followed the kissing of a relic, of Ignatius or Xaviee, I forget which : the father held the glass case in his hand, which we all kissed in succession as we filed off to bed. As I had "a retreat" of a week's duration to pass through, in order to be in a fit condition to perform the duties of a novice, I went to a spare room reserved for the purpose, and the novices retired to the dormitory : which I shall afterwards describe. ADMISSION TO THE NOVITIATE, 31 Here I received a visit from the Superior, who ex- plained to me the nature of the "retreat" upon which I was about to enter, and left me, after committing me to the care of the angels and the saints. I slept very soundly till morning, when I was wakened by a scratching noise on the curtains of my bed ; as soon as my ears were opened, I heard the words " Deo gratias .'" to which I responded (not being acquainted with the proper answer), "Very well!" and made all haste in dressing, as I had been called after the other novices, since it was one of them who gave me the " Deo gratias .'" I went to the lavatory, or washing-place, and there I found my " brothers" performing their ablutions, all in silence, in tin pans over a stone trough. After the given time was elapsed, the bell rang, and as all were ready, we en- tered the chapel for " morning meditation." Thus began my first day, after my first night, in the Novitiate. Here we will leave the novice for a while, to return to him after having described the scene of his future struggles. 32 CHAPTER V. THE THREE HOUSES : WAYS AND MEANS : SILENT INFLUENCES — PEOGEESS. By the name of Stonyhurst, a Roman Catholic semi- nary for the education of youth under the direction of the Jesuits, is commonly understood. But, as in most things, there is more here than meets the eye. The Society of the Jesuits is regularly established in England. The Catholic Relief Bill is but a foil to the Jesuits where it pronounces their non-existence. That bill forbids Jesuits — and members of other religious orders, communities, or societies of the Church of Rome, bound by monastic or religious vows — from coming into the realm, under pain of being banished from it for life : excepting only natural born subjects who were out of the realm at the time of the passing of the Act. Such religious persons may, however, enter the United Kingdom on obtaining a licence in writing from one of the principal secretaries of state who is a Protestant ; and may stay such time as such secretary shall permit, not exceeding six months: unless the THE THREE HOUSES. 33 license is revoked before the end of the six months.* A Jesuit by his vows is legally or civilly dead (this is the Jesuitical formula) and the society by the law of the land is legally dead ; but both the Jesuit and his society are vegetating in full luxuriance. " Man makes laws, but God breaks them," say their friends, with questionable logic, when com- menting on the progress of the Jesuits in the United Kingdom ; and certainly, if we can ennoble a cause by tracing it to the councils of the Eternal, human logic and matter-of-fact deductions are struck dumb by the awful conviction, and we tremble at the thought that the avenging thunderbolt is about to be hurled against the bold, presumptuous mortal who dares to lift the veil I But the Jesuits, notwithstanding a few indis- cretions in their history, rarely expose themselves to pains and penalties without a substantial, visible, tangible safeguard. They remonstrated by their de- legates against the stringency of the Act in question ; but it was intimated to them suh rosa, that they need be under no apprehension, as "they might drive a coach and six through the said act." They believe that only the Attorney-General can bring an action of ejectment against them, and, consequently, the " coach and six" permission is a virtual set-ofF on the part of a lenient government against the interesting disgrace of a verbal proscription. Est naturalis favor pro lahorantibus, says Quintillian; and the generous Englishman, of all men, is the last to strike the • The Act of the 10th Geo. IV. c. 7. D 34 THE THREE HOUSES. fallen foe. One thing is certain, however, the Jesuits hold up their heads in the high places, and move on, like all things at the present day, with " Occupet scabies exiremos!" tacked behind them, and, "For the greater glory of God!" blazing in their van. In the very heart of the Metropolis they are now building a magnificent church, to be served, it is said, by twelve Jesuits, — mass every day, and a sermon after every mass ! This looks like progress, cer- tainly ; and what is still more curious and significant, no begging-box goes round — no subscriptions are solicited : as if by the lamp of Aladdin, the edifice rises rapidly, — a monument to attest the shielded audacity and the obedient munificence of the quiet, peaceful, harmless Jesuits] I am informed by a competent authority, that the Tractarians prefer " to be received into the Church" by the Jesuits : four have been received by one Jesuit in London. Commenting on these mystifica- tions, a Roman Catholic periodical emits the fol- lowing unintentional pleasantry, and well-seasoned sarcasm :■ — " We can — we do forgive them, — that urged by the clamour of their opponents, many of them ex- hibit'towards us an extreme degree of intolerance, by way of proving their abhorrence of such of our tenets as they do not as yet hold, and exhibiting themselves as good and true men to the eyes of their brethren. All this we can readily excuse, because we know how natural is such misguided zeal to our frail nature ; but yet, even in this temper against us, such is the THE THREE HOUSES. 35 foi'ce with which the modicum of truth they have received has operated, that their voices have been raised to swell the shout with which we hailed the late great triumph of truth and humanity over error and persecution. For that shout we thank them, and for all wherein they have sinned against us we forgive them heartily, and wish them strength and grace to persevere in the path along which tliey are now journeying."* The Jesuits seem to argue thus. If your neighbour's servant is defrauding his master by digging in your garden, whilst he is paid by that neighbour for work supposed to be done, are you not justified, considering the benefit you receive, in mystifying the conscience of that servant, by per- suading him that he is only performing an act of charity 1 I was informed in the Novitiate, that the present tenement of the Jesuits at Stonyhurst was presented to the fathers by the late Cardinal Weld (or his father, I forget which) and a curious story is told of the place. It is said that the old mansion was built by special permission of Queen Elizabeth for one of her courtiers, a Roman Catholic. It happened that his son and heir, when a mere boy, one day while walking in the grounds, swallowed some poisonous berries and died. This event so afflicted the father that he retired from the place in disgust. The deserted mansion was given over to~desolation, and * Catholic Mag., March, 1839, quoted in the Catholic Directory for the present year as something " remarkable and almost pro- phetic," p. 174. D 2 36 WAYS AND MEANS. fell, at length, into the hands of the Jesuits : through the munificence of the pious Cardinal. The Jesuits soon set to work, rebuilt and added, cultivated and improved, till, at the present time, they possess an ample domain of some thousand acres of excellent land, three flourishing establish- ments, and a splendid church. The " College of Stonyhurst" was, for a long time, the chief Roman Catholic school for the education of the nobility and gentry of that persuasion. Of late years Ushaw-college, Prior- park, Oscott, &c., have risen into eminence ; not without a slight feeling of jealousy — or, perhaps, I should say, holy emulation — in the respective parties. The number of pupils varies ; at the time of which I am speaking, I believe, , U was about 150: it has amounted to near 300 in more prosperous times. The stipend is, for children under twelve years of age, forty guineas ; for those above that age, fifty ; and for students in philosophy, one hundred guineas. The course of studies professed, comprises the Greek and Latin classic authors, composition in Greek and Latin prose and verse; regular instruction in reading and elocution, writing and arithmetic ; English, French, Italian ; history, sacred and pro- fane, and geography. The higher classes receive lessons in algebra, geometry, and trigonometry. The philosophical course embraces logic, metaphy- sics, ethics,and natural philosophy, with chemistry and the higher mathematics. There is in the college an extensive apparatus for experimental philosophy. ■WAYS AND MEANS. 37 an astronomical observatory, a chemical laboratory, a collection of minerals, &c. There is also a con- siderable and increasing library of approved works of history and of general information ; of which the scholars have the use, on paying a small monthly subscription. Masters of music, drawing, dancing, and fencing,, give lessons to those whose parents may desire it. All are closely examined, four times a year, in what they have learned during the preceding quarter, and rewarded accordingly. At the annual exhibition which precedes the vacation a consider- able number of prizes, consisting of books and silver medals, is distributed among those who have made the most distinguished progress. I have quoted the foregoing almost literally from the prospectus of the college. There is a "theatre" in the college. When I visited the apartment so called, it presented no ap- pearance of a theatre ; but I was told that all the necessary apparatus could be erected with very little trouble, all being in readiness for the appointed time. According to my informant, the dresses were all in character, and some of them very costly. The per- formances take place at the annual exhibition, or at Christmas; and are either tragic or comic, or, as at other theatres, a tragedy is followed by a farce. All the performers are students of the college; some were named to me as " stars," and one had established his fame in the character of Richard the Third. One of the Jesuits is appointed to superintend thie proceedings, in other words, to be " manager." 38 WAYS AND MEANS. As many of the students learn music, and as the music master resides on the spot — and is thus enabled to " lead" the band — we may infer that the profane model which suggests the main idea is faithfully imitated : the overture and the interludes calling forth the plaudits of a delighted audience. The friends of the students are invited to be present on such occa- sions, and are most liberally entertained by the authorities. Doubtless these Jesuit-theatres — for they were " open" in most of the Society's colleges in former times — present the heau ideal of the theatre : as far, at least, as the morality of the thing is concerned ; and if the Jesuits had the good sense to attempt the reality of the thing, rather than its mockery in the religious " mysteries" of old, their good taste and artistic consistency would be incontestible. 1 must leave other discussions arising out of this dehcate sensual gratification afforded by " religious men," to be settled by my intelligent readers ; con- tenting myself with the opinion, that there was much in it, as in most things Jesuitical, to captivate the multitude : and surely if the Jesuits are not decidedly honest in their motto, Ad mqjorem Dei gloriam, they may be so in their standing rule to weep or laugh, to whine or smile, as occasion suits, ad captandum vulgits. • A curious anecdote was related to me, to the effect that a popular actor, whose son was educated at Stonyhurst, expressly desired that the youth alluded to should not be permitted to take a part in the WAYS AND MEANS. 39 theatricals, fearing lest he might imbibe a taste for that profession. When informed of this, it struck me as " a palpable hit :" a hint to the reverend fathers, that the thing was not exactly consistent — at least when carried out to the extent which pre- vails, or prevailed, at Stonyhurst. It may be proper to mention that ecclesiastics of the Roman Church are positively forbidden by the canons, to be present at any theatrical exhibition. Truly there may be a distinction drawn between public and private exhibitions of the sort; but I certainly never could have imagined that " dispensa- tions" might extend, in this matter, to " a priest of the Church :" which, however, I can state as a fact. On entering one of the great London theatres, a few years ago, I met such a priest issuing from "the house of scandal;" and on expressing my astonishment to this gentleman (who was an old ac- quaintance, and not a Jesuit) he told me with evident peace of mind and quiet of conscience, that the "bishop" had given him a "dispensation" in order to perfect himself in the practice of elocution ! . . . . Here, it is clear, the end justified — may I not say, sanctified ? — the means. To show how necessary this dispensation was to my young friend in " pursuit of knowledge under difficulties," I must inform the reader that the canonical penalty for such a transgression is excom- munication ipso facto .' . . . But the frail omnipotence of Rome-^with its ever-varying unchangeableness, its limping, halting, infallibility — what will it not 40 SILENT INFLUENCES. concede to expediency, if we only cease to be heretics !* . . . . All the regular masters at Stonyhurst are Jesuits, either in orders or destined for the priesthood. The students are never left to themselves: an official, com- monly called " prefect," is their constant attendant, whether in the common room of resort, on the play-ground, or walking in the vicinity on play-days. The . strictest regularity prevails throughout the establishment. The students rise at an early hour, attend mass, and proceed to the " study-place," vphere they prepare for their respective schools or classes. No talking is permitted in proceeding from place to place, nor in the dormitory or public sleeping-room, nor in the refectory or eating-room: where signs-manual interpret the silent cravings of the stomach. ; During dinner and supper some book is read by a student appointed for the purpose, in accordance with one of the rules of the Novitiate, viz., that "whilst the body is refitted, the soul, too, may have her food." The usual mode of correction is . the rod ; but never severely administered ; for flagrant misdemeanours expulsion is reserved. But the confessional obviates, in a great measure, the necessity for the lash. Obedience — that talisman to all who are connected with the Jesuits — is in- culcated with awful solemnity; and the example of * Clement XIV. received some indirect compliments from Voltaire very kindly: he enjoyed his joke and told him, through his old friend the Cardinal de Berris, that he would willingly take him to his heart if he would end hy becoming a good Capuchin. — Saint-Prieat, Chflte des Jes, SILENT INFLUENCES. 41 " St. Aloysius," a saint of the society's own produc- tion, is held forth to the young student for his imi- tation. Besides, the " Good Virgin," who adopted Aloysius, will bless only those who strive to follow his footsteps ; and obedience was his great virtue : so the pious youth resolves to be like St, Aloysius, and learns " to bear the yoke" from his youth, until he becomes transplanted into the Novitiate ; where all the nascent virtues of the society, par excellence, are duly watered and expanded into bloom. The con- versation of the masters and prefects is always calculated to inspire a deep veneration in the students for the society and all its concerns ; and apparently unintentional reports* circulated about such and such a one who is " doing so well " in the Novitiate, insensibly inspire an undefined wish in the unthinking youth, fast approaching the term of his " humanity studies," to be received there. Then he ventures to express half a wish to his " spiritual adviser" — the keeper of his conscience — who tells him to think of the matter — to ask the aid of " Mary and her Divine Son," and then to follow the finger that points the way — to the Novitiate, as a matter of course. It is not to be wondered at that this insidious course has buried in the Novitiate the sons of noble- * This view of the case is not fictitious : it results from the con- versation of the "fresh novices" who came to Hodder during my year; and the " such a one'' alluded to in the present instance was myself. I shall scrupulously avoid recording any deduction un- founded on facts, seen or related to me, in the Novitiate. My infor- mation respecting the Jesuits in England, Stonyhurst, &c., was there obtained. 42 SILENT INFLUENCES. men and the wealthy of the land. There is a very nostalgia generated in tender miijds, which makes them cling (as if under the fascination of the serpent) to the spot where their minds first budded into spring, and to the men who possess the tender secrets of their youthful indiscretions, which Heaven has long since forgotten! It is through the confes- sional that drips the potent fluid, which encrusts the heart with a coating impervious to all ex- ternal influences that do not pass first through the medium of the " father of the conscience," who reigns in undivided and undisputed possession over the mind. The priests of the society are enjoined to display these arts of seduction — nor are motives of ostensible religion here wanting to gild the " soft impeach- ment." They are to invite those whom they meet on any occasion, vel levis amicituB, and even to con- ciliate the parents of their pupils to the society.* Among the questions put to the novice before bis admission, he is to be asked " when, where, and by whom he was first moved* to enter the society." These questions are suggested by the characteristic caution of the Jesuits ; and their answers must ne- cessarily tend to explain character by the circum- stances to which they refer. It might be inferred that such influence from without is contrary to the spirit of the " Constitution," if not to fact ; but I * Cum occurrunt nobis in viis, inritare eos qu^libet occasione, vel leris amicitise, turn etiam parentes discipulorum nostrorum con- ciliare Societati. — Instr. ir. 3. Edit. Eom. 1606. SILENT INFLUENCES. 43 find in the " Examen" which precedes the " Con- stitution," the following pertinent declaration : — " Should he affirm that he has been induced,* (although it is lawful and meritorious) still it will apparently conduce to his own greater spiritual utility, if a certain time be prescribed to him ,• that, by thinking of the matter, he may commend himself entirely to the Creator and his Lord, just as if no one of the society had induced him.-f-" Not far from the " college " is the " seminary," which is a new building, tastefully built and re- markably well laid out in the interior. It is ex- clusively occupied by those who have passed through the Novitiate, and, having taken the three simple vows of voluntary poverty, perfect obedience, and perpetual chastity, are continuing their studies for the priesthood. The rules of the Novitiate are here considerably relaxed, as far as spiritual occupation is concerned ; but still the seminary may be considered as a prolongation of the Novitiate.J This, indeed, may be said to last for ever ; for the Jesiiit, as will be afterwards shown, is always under surveillance, always in a state of probation. This might be un- endurable, but for the conviction that there is no escape from it, and that all the members of the Society are subject alike to its influence. The teachers in the "college" are drafted from this establishment. * Fuisse motum. f Exam. Geii. cap. lii. 14. I Aquar. Inst. xiv. n. 1. 44 FBOGBESS. I now return to the Novitiate, or Hodder-house, as it is called. It is situated on the sloping bank of a streamlet from which it derives its name. In speaking of this Novitiate the English Jesuits always call it Hodder, and a stranger visiting Stony- hurst, would never be informed of its existence, cer- tainly he would not be taken to see this supernatural curiosity. The Jesuits are invisible people, known by their effects only — a species of " processionary catei- pillars :" interesting silk-worms that live in societies where the eye of the incurious observer sees nothing but a tree and its waving foliage. Here they spin, when young, a kind of silken tent, divided into cells. They may be seen to issue from it in the evening in procession. One of them advances at, the head, and seems to act as a guide ; two then follow, next three ; then four, and so on : each rank containing one more than the preceding. To complete the comparison, I must state that the larva when first hatched is in weight about one-hundredth of a grain; but just before its metamorphosis it increases to ninety-five grains,- or 9j600 times its original weight.* The quiet, im- ])erceptible expansion of the Jesuits — ^when other men are sleeping through ignominious dreams — is not less certain — is not less wonderful ! There may not be a large majority of extraordinary men in the society at present, but there are not a few "large figures" among the Jesuits that make up a good round " sum total :" if there be many small items of a penny each, a few large entries of many shillings and some * Rud.ofZooI. p. 279. PEOGEESS. 45 pounds will raise a very fair "deposit" for this established bank to let out at all manner of " in- terest." In possession of their perfect system of training and governipent — I mean with reference to their objects in view — all their men may be consi- dered as useful members — useful for some purpose, like the copulative conjunction, " expressed or under- stood." The situation of the English Novitiate has sug- gested these reflections. The river winds round it on one side and the high banks opposite shelter it in that direction. Fronting the road are plantations in various stages of growth' — like the members of the society : the sapling that you may bend as you like ; the full-grown tree that, by the rustling hiss of its leaves, seems to mock the strong winds of the tem- pest ; and the " old tree," quite dead at the pith, but still passably verdant in its deceptive branches. Hodder-house reminded me somewhat of Abbotsford, the residence of " the great magician," which is invisible till you have entered the gate — like the genius of its amiable in-dweller that bursts upon you as an angel's visit, or the calm sweet light of a hospi- table hearth to the traveller when the stars of heaven have ceased to twinkle. The house is an ordinary-looking building, appa- rently not built for the purpose to which, in the lapse of wonder-working time, it is now devoted. A neat gate opens upon a well-gravelled walk, winding to the front-door of the Novitiate, whose threshold is crossed only twice by the novice; once on entering, a n 46 PEOGRESS. then on his departure — either to the world once more, or to the second House. This word brings to mind the strangely, curiously concocted, and most fascinating system of judicial astrology: the Jesuit has his destined " house," like the child of fate, and looks forward to it with a faith and a hope that stagger not. In truth, though the system be not divine, it has much of divination. A few shrubs adorn the front of the house, oppo- site which is a ground for foot-ball. On the slope to the river is a kitchen-garden, cultivated by the novices, with the aid of a lay-brother attached to the establishment : he is mentioned at the end of the present chapter as " cook," but he made himself, as every Jesuit should, " generally useful." The interior comprises a small chapel; a public dormitory divided into compartments about eight feet by five in dimensions, with a green curtain in front ; the Superior's room ; a spare room for casual novices (like myself) to perform their introductory retreat in, and for the use of strangers, who ga occa- sionally for the same pious purpose ; lastly, the kitchen, lavatory or washing-place, and another large room, which is used as a school-room for very young children (under seven years of age) sent to Stony- hurst. One of the novices of the second year is ap- pointed schoolmaster to these little ones. Just over the school-room is their dormitory, and a little chapel where they hear mass ; for they might otherwise be a distraction to the novices. At the back of the house, in a dwelling quite sepa- PROGKESS. 47 rate, lived the laundresses of the Novitiate, whom we never saw. I have not mentioned servants' rooms, simply be- cause there were no servants in the Novitiate. Every man in the Novitiate was a Jesuit, or to be one. The very cook was a Jesuit, commonly called a " lay brother:" that is to say, a man who took the simple vows of the society, and dedicated his trade or craft to the service of the society. His assistants were lay novices also. These men have, of course, more work than prayer ; or, at least, quite as much of one as of the other. Thus, in the palmy days of the society, there were all manner of workmen be- longing to the Jesuits ; thus rendering it totally in- dependent of the world at large : and thus, we can imagine what this wonderful combination of the trades, the sciences, the spiritualities of this nether world could effect in swaying the destinies of hu- manity. In those days when a Jesuit, proprement dit, went forth on his " mission," he was attended by his lay brother,* who went with him in the two-fold capacity of a servant and a spy on his actions : for all are bound to keep a watch on their brethren as well as on themselves. If they "manifest them- selves," they must " manifest their brothers. "-|- There are funds belonging to the Novitiate exclu- sively, resulting from pious bequests and donations ; the novices, consequently — who are always considered * Or by a socius in orders, Const. Part iii. cap. 1. Thus in Non- wicH there are two — in Lonoon, three, &c. t Keg. 9 and 10. Can. 10, Congr. 6. 48 PHOGEESS. by the "Constitutions" as without friends, kindred, home, and wealth, except in the society — pay nothing for their board and lodging. On entering the gates of probation, the novice gives himself to the society, " for the greater glory of God ;" and the society under- takes to be his mother, father, brother, sister, friend, and only acquaintance. True, a man cannot at once forget all these tender ties, unless by the hand of death they exist not ; but the progress of this consummation is not the less certain for being gradual. I never heard during my year a word mentioned of " kith or kin." Of the undying thoughts that rise in spite of ourselves, I can, of course, say nothing with regard to others. I heard the voices coming from afar, like voices of a dream, and I frequently asked myself, " Can you all forswear humanity?" But the "spirit of Ignatius" whispered, *' He who has left father," &c., let him believe that he must relinquish father, mother, brothers, and sisters, and whatever he had in the world : yea, let him believe that those words are ad- dressed to himself — " He who does not hate father and mother, and more, even his own soul, cannot be my disciple."* Thus was the sacred text perverted, to countenance an unnatural dissevering of all the ties that the God of our common nature lias woven together — a web which, hack and tear it as we will, still repairs and renews itself for ever ! * Exam. Gen. oh. iy. 7, a rule of the Summary to be got by heart by the novices. 49 CHAPTER V. THE RETREAT — DOUBTS AND WAVERINGS THE INVESTMENT AND BLESSING. I NOW resume my narrative where I left off, viz., wrth the commencement of the Retreat. The first meditation was on the "End of Man," that is to say, on the object for which man was created. I dare say few of my readers have the least idea what is here meant by meditation. It is a diffi- cult art. A man may be annoyed by disagreeable thoughts for days and weeks together ; but in this case the mind is passive — thoughts impinge upon it like the excruciating drops of water falling on the head of the regicide of old, when every drop, as he remarked with unutterable anguish, felt like the blow of a mallet. This is meditation in spite of ourselves, and we would be glad of some "distraction" or change of thought. But ascetics understand a very different thing by meditation : the mind must be fixed and retained on one idea or sentiment, until it is com- pletely exhausted in all its bearings and applications to the spiritual state of the meditator ; and all change E 50 THE RETREAT. of thought, commonly called " distraction," must be instantly checked as a wily temptation of the devil. In proof whereof we read in a book, recommended by the learned and pious pastors of the Romish church, and written by a Jesuit, as follows, speaking of this " distraction :" — " At other times it may proceed from the malice of the devil, as is stated by some of the Fathers of the desert, who, by God's permission, saw in spirit some devils sitting upon, the heads of the religious, to oblige them to sleep; and others putting their fingers in their mouths to make them yawn."* I had been accustomed to meditate from early youth. At the Roman Catholic college^ where I was educated, the more advanced students had to medi- tate daily for the space of an hour before mass ; and, during the annual retreat, meditation was an im- portant part of the proceedings ; but I never knew ■ what meditation was or might be till I became a Novice. It is among the Jesuits that one must live in order to know the true nature of a religious re- treat, and of meditation or mental prayer. This is considered the highest order of prayer, the most acceptable to God ; for it is supposed to bring the fervent soul into the immediate presence of the Divinity, when, by the enlightening of that grace which descends on the compunctious spirit, we be- hold ourselves as we are — all our wants, all our im- perfections, all our stains and spiritual wounds. " Happy is the man," says the master of ascetics, * Bodrig. Christ, Perf. chap. xxiv. THE RETREAT. 51 " who can reject every distracting thought, and can centre himself completely in a holy compunction !" I will endeavour to give the reader an idea of the method, by the following meditation on the Last Judgment. As I have forgotten none of the strong thoughts — none of the stirring emotions of my Novitiate, the ex- position will be as easy as it is authentic. JUDGMENT. " But in those days, after that tribulation, the sun shall be darkened, and the moon shall not give her light. " And the stars of heaven shall fall, and the powers that are in heaven shall be shaken. " And then shall they see the Son of Man coming in the clouds with great power and glory." Point I. I began by impressing my mind with the certainty of the coming event, and made thereon a firm, fervent act of faith. I reasoned with my soul on the necessity of that judgment. Throughout all time the good have been oppressed, afflicted, scorned by the judgment of men; that judgment must be reversed. God himself will right them on that awful day. They have sighed in bitterness of heart : " O Lord, my God, in thee do I put my trust : save me from all them that persecute me, and deliver me : Lest he tear my soul like a lion, rending it in pieces, while there is none to deliver. " O Lord my God, if I have done this : if there be iniquity in my hands : If I have rewarded evil unto E 2 52 THE RETREAT. him that was at peace with me; (yea, I have deli- vered him tlaat without caase is mine enemy :) " Let the enemy persecute nay soul, and take it : yea, let him treaid down my life upon the earth, and lay mine honour in the dust. "Arise, O Lord, in thine anger, lift up thyself because of the rage of mine enemies : and awake for me to the judgment that thou bast commattded. " Oh let the wickedness of the wicked come to an end : but establish the just : for the righteous God trieth the hearts and reins." On the other hand, the bad exult in prosperous iniquity — all things succeed to their liking ; they are favoured, comforted, exalted by the juidgment of men ; that judgment must be reversed. God himself will condemn them on that awful day. They have said in their hearts exulting : " God hath forgotten : he hideth his face : he will never see it." Among which class shall I be on that day of joy to the good, and of woe to the wicked ? How stands it with thee, my soul ? What hast thou done,, what hast thou not done ? Were this the day, the hour of Judgment,, art thou prepared? Consider the number- leas graces of Heaven which thou hast abused. Thou wast bred in the true faith — ^instructed in its saving words — snatched from the world of scandal before it had made thee its own — placed in the garden of the saints, where thou wast sheltered from every blast of evil, and cherished with the warmth of celestial hFeathiiiigs " with healing on their wings." Of what avail have been all these blessings 1 Hast thou less THE RETREAT, 53 reason to fear the coming judgment? Dost thou not still linger on the brink of the rushing stream that hurries on countless myriads to destruction ? Hast thou not ever and anon turned a listening ear to their seducing appeals, as from their treacherous bark they have waved their hands to thee, inviting thee to join in their ceaseless revels by night and by day — • little thinking that all their frivolous and pernicious joys are only pains glossed over with pleasures,* soon to be uncoloured, unvarnished, laid bare? Then the judgment! .... PoiMT II. Consider who will appear at that final judgment — that judgment which shall never be re- versed — which will proclaim the exclusive existence of joy which " it has not entered into the heart of man to conceive" — and of woe equally inconceivable — unutterable! Then there will be no Purgatory to expiate the temporal penalties of sin — mere human frailties : then there will be no earth where we may retrieve the past ! All who appear then to j udgment, will hear a final blessing, or a final curse ! Who shall appear ? All who have sprung from the first-created man — from the beginning of time to the day of tri- bulation — the great and the little — the rich and the poor — the learned and the ignorant — Christians and infidels — Jews and Gentiles — obedient children of the church and heretics — sincere believers and philoso- phers ; all, absolutely all of every age, of every land * AiJTrat dpa riaav r/dovais Trepnmrtiiiiivai, — Socrat. in CEconom. 54 .THE RETREAT. shall appear to judgment. Thou, my soul, shalt be there ! . . . . . . ... On that day of what avail will be the dazzling glory, and endless renown of mighty conquerors — the power of riches — the power of learning that destroys as many as it saves, — this proud learning which thou covetest so much ! Of what avail will it be to thee, my poor soul, if thou hast not on "the wedding garment?" Sincere Christians, the elect and the rejected — among which wilt thou be? The obedient children of the church and the disobedient heretics ; among which wilt thou be? Once more thou hast been •reconciled to the faith ; what a mercy ! what a favour ! Wilt thou remain faithful to the end— to the judg- ment? Tremble at the awful thought ! .... Point III. Imagine the scene of judgment ; see, as it were now, the God of glory; Jesus the crucified, now the glorified, coming in majesty from on high in his chariot of celestial fire that illumines the whole •earth from bound to bound, surrounded by all the angels of heaven, — thrones, principalities, domina- tions, cherubim and seraphim, hymning renown and glory to Him alone, who was, is, and ever will be worthy of all honour and praise. The trumpet sounds ! Phalanx on phalanx, 'and troop on troop roll in position, instantly, at that sound. Behold ! — the two divisions stand widely apart. Behold them ! read the features of the wicked ; then turn to those of the good. THE EETEBAT. 55 All stand again in the fiesh — in the flesh wherein they have sinned: but oh! dreadful pang! They are now seen by all; by friends and by foes, — by angels and by devils, — ^just as they were seen when in the flesh, by God alone. Every hidden crime — every humiliating frailty that human vanity was so anxious to conceal, to palliate, to justify, — all will be laid bare. God will even thus deign to make this appeal to his creatures for the j'wsiice of his judgment ! . . How stands it with thee, my soul ? Hast thou con- fessed all? Lacks there not some cherished sin, or tender failing that thou hast not thoroughly repented of, not wholly discarded ? Now turn to the good. O entrancing change ! All the stains of human sin have been wiped away, and the hearts of the saints reflect the divine thoughts of good that beam from the breast of the Redeemer ! It is as though they had never sinned ; for they were born again in grace. The troops of martyrs with their crowns of glory ; the troops of confessors with their wreaths of light; the holy virgins, with Mary at their head, close beside the God of purity^ next to his bosom, — all, all smile heavenly smiles, and wait exulting to ascend with their Strength and their Hope, the Redeemer, to the joys that never end. Once more the trumpet sounds, — list ! 'tis the Judgment ! " Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels!" " Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the king- dom prepared for you from the foundationof the world I" 56 THE RETREAT. A shriek ! — a wail from bound to bound ! The sides of the doleful valley, with sounds of endless woe,* echo to the dreadful judgment. Hell, the insatiate, is now satisfied at last — filled with the eternal dead ! A cry of joy ! — a shout of exultation, from bound to bound ! The heavens open, and the choirs of the angels and the saints sing welcome to the children of God ; and the gates of heaven gently, gently close on them — eternally blessed — for ever good, and, there- fore, for ever happy] ...... This may be considered as a faithful specimen of my meditations in the Novitiate. The scriptural phrases occur in the " Office of the Dead," appointed to be said or sung for the benefit of the souls in purgatory. I have given the version of the Pro- testant Bible ; but in the texts in question, it does not diflFer materially from that of the Roman church. Of course I have only recorded the most prominent thoughts and sentiments, on the most impressive of which I would dwell, and, as it were, steep my soul in anguish or in bliss, — in harmony with the key-note of the wonderful counter-point in question, which, with " dulcet symphonies and voices sweet," or " stunning sounds, and voices all confused," sweetly soothed, or harshly racked my helpless soul, when I resigned her to the impulse of " thoughts that wander ■ Bu la proda mi trovai Delia valle d' Abisso dolorosa, Che tuono accoglie d' infiuiti guai. Dante, luf. Cant. iv. THE RETREAT. 57 through eternity." In truth, those thoughts were hurnt in — they can never be erased. Not a day of my life passes without some occurrence, some remark that I hear or read, bringing to mind the thoughts and sentiments which I cherished as the distinctive marks of a disciple of Jesus, ere I perceived the reverse of the cunning transparency which exhibited the Jesuit. Other speculators require a certain degree of craft in the novice whom they admit to a share of their " privileges ;" but only the Jesuits require perfect simplicity — innocence without guile — in their novice ; cruelly concluding that such a nature is best adapted for that perfect, blind, entire obedience which "re- cognises God in his superior." * The foregoing specimen of meditation is from my last retreat in the Novitiate — the great retreat of thirty days — which will be described in the sequel. When that retreat took place I had made consider- able progress in the art of meditation : during the retreat now in question the subjects of n^editation were to my mind, in a great measure, "like water dripping on a hard rock," that rebounds and flows off, scarcely moistening the polished surface. I had certainly been accustomed to reflect, to think deeply ; but the subjects of such reflection were congenial, were scientific, philosophical ; I could always come to satisfactory conclusions — conclusions as to the admirable design of Providence, the beautiful har- * Ut constanter applicet animam, Deum in Superiore coguoscat. R. P. Claudii Aquav. P. G., Indust. cap. t. 6, Rom. 1606. 58 THE RETREAT. mony of creation, the destined moral government of the world, and that wonderful retributive justice which is dispensed to all men in reward for physical, moral, intellectual obedience to the laws of nature, or in punishment for physical, moral, intellectual in- fringement of the same Divine legislation. That was philosophical meditation. As will be presently evi- dent, this habit of thought, far from being of service in my present meditation, only tended to " distract" my mind — to thwart the influence of the topics se- lected for my spiritual transformation. But there was "a necessity upon me;" I must advance : to fall back at the very gates of the strong- hold which was about to surrender, would be absurd, disgraceful. Patiently, humbly, then, I listened to the words which explained to me the form and method of my first meditation. I was enjoined, first, "to place myself in the presence of God ;" that is, to make a firm act of faith in his omnipresence ; secondly, to ask his aid well to perform my meditation, and to derive the expected benefit therefrom ; and, thirdly, to invoke the assist- ance of the Virgin, the saints, and angels. The meditation lasts one hour. The subject was given on a slip of paper, and was divided into three points, giving the heads of the argument that was to be discussed between the soul and its inclinations, or, as phrenologists would say, between the superior sentiments and the animal propensities. We meditated in three positions — kneeling, stand- THE RETREAT. 59 ing, sitting — a quarter of an hour in each position ; and, as by the last quarter the soul was supposed to have gone through that severe scrutiny which was to produce the resolution of amendment, we knelt during the last quarter, and made supplications to God, the Virgin, the saints and angels — to God for grace, to the Virgin, 8&c., for the aid of intercession. This distinction is accurately made by Roman Catholics ; but the Jesuits certainly carry their veneration for the Virgin to an extravagant extent. At first this veneration, or hyperdulia, as it is termed, was but very indifferently embraced by me ; but after a while, when my feelings — the ardent feel- ings of one on whom woman's beauty always made an impression — were sanctified by the apparently virtuous source of their excitement, then it was that the worship of the Virgin was established in my heart to the fullest extent. If she was not my God, she had the power of my God, united to the fondest love of the fondest mother ! There was a time when I could make a satisfactory distinction between the worship of God and that of Mary ; but it was before I became a novice. I trust that I am justified in using the word "worship" with reference to the Virgin, since in the Libellus, or prayer- book, which I used at Hodder — now open before me — the words Modus colendi are the same that would be applied to the Creator. An extract from the book will render that meaning more evident: — " All gifts, virtues, and the graces of the Holy Ghost himself, to whomsoever she wishes, in the 60 THE RETREAT. manner she wishes, and when she wishes, are dis- pensed through the hands of Mary. " Give her thanks, therefore, for all the benefits which she has obtained for thee from Christ, but par- ticularly for those which thou especially knowest that thou hast obtained by her intercession ; such as the remission of the sins whereby thou hast offended God, — thy preservation from many sins, — many holy inspirations, greater fervour and devotion, greater relish for holy things ; a desire of virtue, particularly of humility, chastity, meekness, charity, sobriety, — a more ardent desire of promoting thy salvation and that of others — a brighter genius, a better memory, a keener intellect, greater diligence in study, and the like blessings, which, from the name given to her Congregation, thou seest and feelest, have been in- creased in thee. Yield and offer thyself entirely to her, beseeching her to take thee under her guardian- ship and patronage, and to vouchsafe to defend thee — protected by her safeguard — ^from every danger of body and soul." In accordance with this advice, the name of Mary was constantly invoked by the novices : it was oftener uttered than that of God or the Redeemer. In truth, whatever verbal distinctions are made, the virtual effect is certain — God is contained in Mary : if she be not God to the deluded fanatic! The missiuided Israelites forgot the God whom they could not see nor imagine, and fell down and worshipped the molten calf, which they could see and feel when present, and imagine when absent. Herein the THE KETREAT. 61 human sympathies and cravings act in perfect ac- cordance with their seducing nature. Thus, if I could not see or imagine my God, I could mentally see and imagine Mary; and ohl how beautiful is she pictured to the mind in the glowing, thrilling, gushing words of her worshippers, who have ex- hausted every metaphor, expended every figure of the beautiful, the sublime, the sweet, in eulogizing " the Queen of" Heaven*" I I pity the mortal thus deluded into idolatiy, whilst I denounce the carnal system ; for who that has had a kind, fond mother — of whom, though long since laid in the cold grave, he often thinks, weeping sweet tears — can resist the impulse which urges him to seek and to find in Mary all that he loved in his kind, fond mother, infinitely enhanced by the power to bless him with the dear suggestions of a mother's heart ? I have been speaking of emotions which were not yet awakened. At the commencement of my retreat, my mental movements were simply mechanical ; or, to develope the figure, my mind worked on the hori- zontal principle — afterwards the leve?- was substituted with wonderful success, I had four meditations each day, the intervals being filled up with verbal prayer, spiritual reading, an examination of conscience, preparatory to confes- sion, and a walk in the garden for relaxation. On the last occasion I was accompanied by the "brother" who had me in charge for the week. This * See note A at the end of the Volume. 62. THE KETBEAT. indulgence was doubtless kindly intended to ease the pressure of the solitude into which I was suddenly thrown from the turmoil and busy scenes of life. In general, according to the requisition of Ignatius, a person, in retreat, must be left entirely to himself and his spiritual director, who should not visit him oftener than is absolutely necessary : the influence — the im- pulse being given in a certain direction, he is left to sail as the inner breathings blow : as long, at least, as the coast is clear and the light-house visible ; if not, he should prudently take his " pilot" on board ere his tiny bark founders on the hidden shoal. It must be manifest that few minds can be capable of this mental exile, which the " Spiritual Exercises" of Ignatius suppose to exist. A habit of abstraction — of self-communion, is not to be p&t on as a garment ; a spiritual divorce from thoughts and sentiments to which we have been long wedded, cannot be ob- tained without considerable difficulty : if the will accuses the heart, the latter still makes out a strong case, and it rarely happens on such occasions that a reconciliation is not effected. Apparently aware of this obstacle, the Jesuits are cautioned not to administer all the " Exercises" to every mind ; but only "to a select few, and such as may seem adapted to greater things." The opinion of Ignatius on this subject is curious, and may throw some light on his system. He is said to have dictated the following sentiments : — " It does not appear to me that any one is to be exhorted to go through these exercises, unless he has these or the most important of these dispositions — first, that he should be so THE EETRBAT. 63 constituted as to give hopes of becoming very useful to the house of God, if he be called to his service : secondly, if he has not as yet acquired those arts and sciences which give evidence of this utility, he should at least be young and clever enough to make it evident that he may in time acquire them : thirdly, he should be free to dispose of himself, even so far as to embrace the state of perfection, should God call him to that state : fourthly, he should seem inclined to spirituality, and have a comely and agreeable personal appearance :* fifthly, he must not be so addicted to anything as to seem unable to be separated from it without difficulty, and be trained to that equanimity which is required for this business of the soul, to be properly carried on with God.-f- Supposing, then, that the most important of these dispositions were sufficiently evident, the reader will now accompany me in spirit through my first retreat among the Jesuits. I will describe the scene of my retreat. As you entered the room, on the left was my bed, decently hung with homely curtains ; opposite the bed was a small table upon which was a crucifix, and beside the table was a cushion to kneel on — imagine a chair, and my room is described. At some distance from the part of the house occupied by the novices, I ^ Habitumque corporis honestum ac decentem habeat. t Direct. Exerc. Spir. c. i. This is an interesting little book, in my possession, printed in 1600, and bearing the following inscription on the title page : Coll. Soc. Jem, Louanii — thus it belonged to one of the colleges before the suppression, viz., that of Lourain. 64 THE EETREAT. beard nothing, saw nothing of them, except during meals. I have an unpleasant recollection of the first day, or rather of the first morning. A comparison will be the best exponent of my position. Travelling in Scotland several years before, I made an excursion on foot, visiting Melrose, Abbotsford, — and vener- ated the memory of the Scott over his tomb at Dry- burgb. On leaving this thrilling memory of the past — rendered still more acute by the assoeiation of the warrior's tomb bard by, and the damp chill cloisters of the abbey through which I had pre- viously strolled — I strayed from the road, and struggled for a footstep with the weeds and briars in general possession of the river's bank. I stood beneath the rough but thoughtful statue of Wallace. Thence following the winding stream, I journeyed on, hoping to find an easy fording- place ; but the farther I went the deeper it seemed to become. The day was far spent — to return would be long and tedious — but how to cross that impassable stream ? I strained my eyes up the river towards the chorus of " giggling waves"* that were hurrying down to mock my dilemma ; but the rolling river rolled on, deep and broad, and seemed to say: " If you would reach your home, throw off all that will encumber you in the only path that I can give you ; tie up that all in a bundle, and hold it high above your head, to be useful again when necessary: but you • UovTiiav KVfiuTav avrjpiBnov yiKaafia. — Prom. iEseb. 90. THE RETREAT. 65 must take to my bosom — you must strike out boldly — advance, and God speed to you ! I did as the stream seemed to advise, and swam across to the opposite bank. If the reader will spiritualise this my little adven- ture, translating it into mind from body, he will con- ceive my mental position on that first morning of my "retreat." I will not offend his ingenuity by point- ing to all the similitudes ; and should they not be apparent at first sight, I am now to open my mind and heart to him with such unhesitating confidence, that from imagining my distress on the river's bank — from witnessing my struggle with the rushing stream — his transition will be easy to my solitude ; where the world and all my fascinating hopes were the bank on which I stood, and the unpitying stream was adequately represented by the mental ordeal through which I had to pass, ere the home I was seeking could be reached. I have spoken of my enthusiasm. I now began to discover that, in embracing so rapturously the idea of becoming a Jesuit, I had given but very little thought to what Jesuits have to believe. The sight of that crucifix in my room produced an emotion of which I had never been conscious before ! And whilst fixedly gazing on that awful image of hideous anguish,— feeling, as it were, the endless pangs of those cruel wounds that suspended what they tor- tured, — the spell of my dreams was broken : a deso- lating reality stood before me, and I seemed to hear those uncompromising words of life : — " Ue that 66 THE EETBEAT. taketh not his cross, and foUoweth after me, is not worthy of me." The Jesuits had presented themselves to my excit- ahle imagination as gods of intellect ; whose mental omnipotence and beneficence had showered innumer- able gifts on every department of knovyledge, human and Divine. My ambition was certainly equal to my enthu- siasm, and the " inspiration " which agitated my mind seemed an earnest, not to be doubted, of a glorious future in this world at least : for the thought of another world is not a haunting spirit of youth. Conscious of possessing a will whose efforts have rarely been unsuccessful, by the unflinching industry and application which are its instruments in the pursuit of knowledge, I had resolved to strive for the highest, the noblest wreath of intellectual renown. A Tuesellimi in classical learning — a BoscoviCH in mathematics — a Tieaboschi in general literature — a Bellaemino in ecclesiastical learning and controversy — or a Bouedaloue in sacred eloquence : such were my models, to be selected by my superiors for my imitation, — to be imitated by me. How ravishing was the thought! how strong and sublime the hope ! But it was the last high eminence that glimmered to my mind's eye from afar, like the constellation of the Southern Cross^flaming above in majesty, and beautiful amidst the beautiful — to the mariner in his midnight -watch when doubling the " Cape of Hope." I pictured myself standing in the pulpit, pouring THE RETBEAT. 67 forth the forceful words of resistless conviction, and the conquering appeals of sweet persuasion. Oh ! how my heart beats even now when I think of that entrancing thought — those fascinating hopes I The desire of inspiring my fellow-men with exalted thoughts of man's high destiny, and with expanding sentiments of large, god-like benevolence towards all that is man, even now makes me regret sometimes, that it is not my calling " to preach the gospel !" . . . All these thoughts and hopes vanished as I stood gazing on that crucifix : the fire of my human desires grew dim : was eclipsed by the cloud of that agony, pain, humiliation, — the withering scorn of men ! These must now be the objects of desire, for it was spoken : " He that taketh not his cross, and fol- loweth after me, is not worthy of me !" . . . . To one who is keenly alive to every internal and external impulse, the emotion produced by the sight of the crucifix was like the sight — to the hopeless merchant — of his long-desired ship, laden with all the riches of the East, wrecked and sunk as it enters into port. Then, for the first time, I became aware of the unfitness of my mind for religious practices, as suggested by the faith of the Romish church. True I had not been, as I am now, totally separated from that communion ; but there were many points of "dissent" in my creed, which certainly drove me to the very brink of heresy. Still I was a Roman Catholic — as it were, a believer under temptation : a state in which, perhaps, many of that communion live and die! From my eighteenth year I had r 2 68 THE KETEEAT. doubts — temptations against tlie faith. Contro- versial works had been my favourite study : I erideavoured to arm myself in defence of the Church ; but it was this very process that produced the doubts that threatened my final separation from the faith which I, not unfrequently, and successfully defended. During the few weeks that intervened between my first interview with the Jesuit who was then the London agent of Stonyhurst, and my departure for the ISfovitiate, I had been to confession and com- munion. At the request of the Jesuit, the priest who absolved me gave me a testimonial of his unqualified belief as to my "vocation." My enthu- siasm stifled my doubts ; but they returned with the greater violence when I had been a day or- two in the company of the " Fathers " at Stonyhurst. I have already enlarged on my disappointed expecta- tions: if it was not the fault of these men that they did not edify me, it was doubtless mine that I was scandalized. I am willing to give them the benefit of the doubt: content to state facts and impressions without exaggeration or suppression. In this frame of mind, then, I had to meditate on the saving truths of Christianity, as unfolded and applied by Ignatius to the " ground-work "* of the Jesuit. I meditated on " the end of man." The subject had long been familiar to my thoughts. I had worked out the problem : to my own satisfaction at least; and notthe most unimportant corollary deduced, * Ad fundamentum. Exerc. Spirit. DOUBTS AND WATERINGS. 69 was the conviction that we have considerably unsiin- plified the plain words of Revelation, and have been unaccountably deaf to the suggestions of Nature : which, after all, is revelation more or less obscured or invisible to the eyes of the thoughtless and the sensual. : The " prelude — " for there were preludes to each meditation — was quite in accordance with my religion or philosophy : if the candid reader will not be terrified by the legitimg,te use of a much-abused term, which, like the holy name of the Redeemer in the word " Jesuit," has been piteously degraded from its original acceptation.* " Man was created for this end — to praise and revere the Lord his God, and by serving Him, to be saved at last."f - I embraced the pleasing theme as an old friend : but I could not help thinking, ever and anon, that my thoughts on the subject were not those of the Jesuits, however firmly convinced I was that they were in perfect accordance with the doctrines and life of Jesus. In the doctrines and life of the Redeemer I had found nothing wanting ; whereas the Jesuits would require from me the unqualified profession of the Romish faith : which had been likened, in my imagination, to certain tropical nuts whose kernel is inexplicably involved in a hard, tough, intertwisted husk enclosing a harder shell. For I was willing to admit that there was some truth in the system : some signs of vitality, some indica- tions of soundness: a period of decomposition so * See note B. t Exere. Spirit. Med. i. 70 DOUBTS AND WAVERINGS. grateful in rich viands to the epicure. How easy is the transition from the "flesh-pots of Egypt" to the flesh-pots of religion! And what a splendid mental epicureanism is the religion of Rome ! And how the Jesuits of old enhanced its attractions by their orthodox expediency in the ticklish matter of morality ! But I am anticipating a momentous ques- tion — I return to the " end of man." Some of the motives held forth for a grateful return to the Creator, in consideration of all His manifold blessings, were satisfactory; but I outstripped the scope of the " point," and expatiated in universal nature for the unnumbered motives that suggest the name of the all-wise, all-good, eternal God, to the heart as well as to the mind of the grateful worshipper. And to crown all, God himself took the form of his favoured creature, and thus exalted man still higher in the grades of creation : hence, perhaps, the noblest secondary motive of Christian morality — namely, not to degrade that which was glorified by a God made man I need not say that I was but little " distracted " during the meditation : if the whole train of my thoughts, strictly speaking, was not a palpable dis- traction throughout, according to the ideas of Igna- tius. However, the hour passed ofF very agreeably. According to practice, the Father of the Novices visited me after the meditation. He seemed, as it were, the divine physician feeling the pulse of my soul. I " reported progress " to his satisfaction. My next meditation was on " sin," and was less DOUBTS AND WAVERINGS. 71 satisfactory. My philosophy totally revised the " points." I found them inconsequent through- out: confused, absurd. That is, of course, according to the views which I had taken of the subject: having apparently reconciled the morality of pure revelation with that suggested by the laws which govern external nature in which we move, by the bodily and mental structure or organization with which we are endowed, and by the bodily and mental rewards and penalties which perpetually remind us of a superintending Providence. I became uneasy. I thought of arguing the points with the Superior: but a moment's reflection con- vinced me that I came to be converted not to convert. Was it possible for me to assent to the doctrine? If not, how could I be a conscientious, an honest Jesuit ? . . . . I told the Father despondingly that I had been sadly distracted in this meditation. He smiled benignly ; said he was not surprised at it, and with great " unction," as sentimental piety is called, he unfolded the cause of the failure : which, he said, manifestly resulted from the Jiesh battling with the spirit!* "Never mind, brother!" said he, sweetly, " grace will be given you to see all things clearly : by-and-by all will be well !" The apparent candour of his sentiment nearly extorted from my heart the confession of my heresy ; but he continued * I find this cause among the many given by Aquavita in his Industrie, cap. 3, viz., Ex desideriis etinordinato affectu erga aliquid, quod subinde recurrit et animum pulsat, mentemque ad se importune reyocat. 72 DOUBTS AND WAVERINGS. his pious instruction with such seeming gratification, that I was unwilling to blast the hope which he had so fervently and confidently expressed. By this time, I had half convinced myself that my hope of becoming a Jesuit was very uncertain ; for the idea of subscribing to their doctrines with a "mental reservation" never entered into my mind. " Death" was the subject of my third meditation. I grappled with the grim tyrant, and brought him to a parley. This time I could give a good account of my soul, as far as its peace and quiet were concerned ; for the wise, and merciful, and beneficent ends sub- served by death throughout creation, filled my mind with sweet thoughts of the Creator's universal love: By a curious contradiction, it was impossible for me to follow the leading ideas of the " points." I could see nothing terrible in death, or the simple cessation of the body's functions, after having done their ap- pointed work. Further, from the constant tendency of all organic nature to give pleasure : to bless with comfort some one or other of God's creatures, I had been deeply impressed with unbounded faith in the Creator!s goodness and love ; so that I looked beyond the grave with unshaken hopefulness, despite the consciousness of my infirmities : since I had re- marked, as every one must, that the physical blessings of nature are freely dispensed to all — to the unjust as well as the just; though their pleasures are con- fined to those who use and do not abuse them. Such were the thoughts that entertained my first hours of the Retreat: it is evident that they were not DOUBTS AND WAVEEINGS. 73 in the spirit of Ignatius. This state of things was not to continue : the trial was at hand. "Judgment," "Hell," and "Heaven," were the following topics. ... I confessed my doubts : I could conceal them no longer. My views of the subjects were totally at variance with the doctrine of the " points." I could not reconcile them. I despaired for my "vocation," and wept with bitter anguish. The good Father endeavoured to calm my agitation. Of course he did not argue with me : that was out of the question ; for " the devil is not to be argued with." He advised me to pray : to pray fer- vently for aid : it would be given : the tempter would vanish. He said he would pray for me : 't was natural that I should not be easily surrendered by the Evil One : but the will of Heaven would be accom- plished in me in spite of all his efforts ! . _ . . . These his last words were to me like the last and conquering remedy of the physician to the desperate patient. " The will of Heaven would be accomplished in me, in spite of all his efforts !" This appeal to my ruling sentiment was electric in its effects. Instantly I de- termined, with all the strength of my will, to believe : and I believed ! From that moment, the few doubts that rose up against me were easily vanquished. I felt totally changed in opinion on every subject. I prayed with fervour, meditated with comfort, and was eager, "like a giant prepared to run his course," to begin a new life of action as well as of sen- timent 1 74 DOUBTS AND WAVERINGS. Strange ! inexplicable ! if the sentiment was not an illusion. Here was an inspiration of faith produced by an appeal to a sentiment which was certainly in- timately allied to vanity ; or at least to a self-idea, thai mere human pride may suggest as a motive of rational ambition ! I have felt the force of this omnipotent flattery, and therefore can pity the deluded "con- verts" who seek in the Midian of Romanism that sensual spirituality which is not permitted to the faithful pilgrims of the desert. More of the letter of the law is required of the Roman Catholic than of the Protestant, but not more of the spirit, if so much ; since the heart must be strong in faith to live up to the doctrines and model of Jesus, when the allurements, the pleasant devices, the ." soft impeach- ments" of Romanism are not admitted into the sanctuary : where, in spirit and singleness of heart, the spiritual worshipper seeks God, and God alone. Henceforth I have to describe myself as a devout believer : tempted, but still striving to resist — to con- quer the thoughts that were ready, at every moment, to rise and appeal for a dispassionate judgment. With faith came compunction, I was anxious to unburthen my conscience to my spiritual director. About the middle of the Retreat I began my con- fession. This, of course, was essential. Whoever is admitted into the society must, on his entrance, make a general confession of his whole life, to be repeated every six months after : on account, it is said, of the manifold DOUBTS AND 'WAVEKINGS. 75 utility to the spirit which is evidenced in that per- formance.* It was a general confession, then, that I had to make : a confession which included all the sins of my past life up to that time. This great undertaking is performed by Roman Catholics at their first communion ; and only occa- sionally afterwards, according to the advice of their spiritual directors, which is influenced by the sup- posed state of the penitent's soul : for it is considered useful to rouse the lukewarm to a fruitful eiFort, when their relaxed vigilance is preparing a grievous fall. It is only necessary to confess " mortal sins ;" for " venial sins" are not " matter for absolution." The distinction between a mortal and a venial sin, is, in most cases, easy enough ; as the " intention" of the penitent, together with the " circumstances," decides the judgment of the expert casuist; who has been diligently instructed in all the intricate, and fre- quently disgusting shades of human frailty. By a mortal sin is meant a sin which causes " death to the soul :" in other words, which would consign the soul to eternal perdition. It is defined as a wilful infringe- ment of the commandments of God, or of the church, in a grave matter, by thought, word, or deed. A venial sin is defined to be a slight dereliction of those duties which result from the commandments of God, or of the church, in a light matter j or in a grave matter, without perfect consent of the will; and con- sequently pardonable, as the Latin word, rather in- congruously, is made to signify : for by implication * Exam. Gen. cap. 4. 76 INVESTMENT AND we might conclude that a mortal sin is not pardon- • able. Absolution, however, is always given — " to make sure;" and for this purpose the penitent is requested " to accuse himself of some particular sin of his past life, with a fervent act of contrition." In my confession to the ather of the novices, I was candid and minute to the utmost. Every sin of my past life : every propensity, was confessed without reluctance. I never felt shame in confession. I looked, upon the priest as the vicegerent of the Almighty, and often exaggerated rather than dimi- nished my guilt. To the Jesuit I told all— absolutely all : his every question received an unhesitating reply. It is commonly thought that Homan Catholics do not tell all in confession : for myself, I can only say that the idea of a sacrilegious confession and communion was always horrific to my mind; and I have even confessed a nightly dream on the morning of com- munion, in order to be " spotless" for that astounding ceremonial. Gratified, doubtless, by my candour; exulting in my fervour, and triumphing in the victory gained, the good father poured forth the honeyed words of consolation : assuring me that " all the past was past" and would be forgotten, and that it was now, by a most especial grace, granted me to make amends by a life of meritorious deeds in the holy Society of Jesus. Then followed the absolution, which he pronounced with strong emotion, and con- cluded with the words " Go and sin no more ! pray for me !" In the evening he brought me my cassock, with BLESSING. 77 the discipline and the chain; and, with a fervent blessing and prayer that I would wear it in holiness and sincerity, he commended me to the Virgin and holy Aloysius, and left me — a saint in anticipation : for I was determined to wear the garb in the manner recommended, and I certainly endeavoured to my utmost to do so during my eventful year ; as the Jesuits can testify, and have testified. 78 CHAPTER VI. THE NOVICE A CONTEMPLATION RESULTS. On the following morning I received the sacrament, or the Eucharist, as Roman Catholics call it, at mass. The recollected demeanour of the novices during that ceremony — their hands joined on the brea%t — using no book, but with eyes downcast in mental prayer, — the apparent fervour of the Superior : seeming to weep as he ejaculated the words that others repeat as a task, — these signs of a religious life I had not appreciated till the morning of my first communion in the Novitiate. I cannot forget the mere sensation of the gown, which, as it were, veiled all that was worldly in me from my eyes, that now would fain forget every object that they had ever rested on with pleasure. That gown transformed me as much as any other influence in the Novitiate. On all occasions it was a monitor to me. I always put it on with pleasure, and could have wished never to appear without it: for to me it seemed to suggest the resolve to attain perfection. I con- sidered it in the light of a contract made with THE NOVICE. 79 Heaven— a covenant which cancelled the past, and gave me a rule of life for the future. I remember my sensations on that morning, as if they were of yesterday. My meditation was most interesting by its comparisons and association of ideas ; which enable me to call to mind thoughts as far back as ray sixth year, and have rendered easy the task of reproducing my mind in the Novitiate. Thus all things that the eyes can see, the ears hear, the hands touch, the nostrils smell, the tongue taste, have been made to me records of thoughts to be re- called to mind at any moment. On the morning in question, during that medita- tion, I likened my soul's condition to scenes that I had witnessed after a hurricane within the Tropics. The roar of the winds, that have raged from every quarter in succession, has ceased — the shout of the sailor striving to save his ship from the shore— the crash of falling rafters — the screams of women, have heard their last echo ; and the sea, the terrible deep, that seemed in its fury last night about to engulf the little island, now smiles in its thousand ripples, curled by the morning breeze born from its own cool bosom,* as the rising sun in the east pours his life-giving radiance on the isle now waking from its troubled sleep. Let us go forth and see the work of the hurricane. Here are the remnants of a wreck, the greater part of which is now floating far and wide on the wilderness of ocean, soon to be covered with moss, and weeds, * The sea breeze. 80 A CONTEMPLATION. and shell-fish, and then to become a shelter for the fish that seek their food, only to be preyed, upon by others larger and fiercer than themselves. There, see ! are numerous shells and curious mosses thrown up from the treasury of ocean — useless where they were — but if some clever: hand will cleanse, them from their dross, and ; polish, and ' sort them, how beautiful they will be — those shells of every hue ; and yet not tinted in vain, but for some wise end, some bounteous purpose, some providential destiny. Here is a dead body — cold — stiff! Poor sailor! the ocean, thy adopted mother, has wafted thee kindly once more to a home — the home of the grave; and strangers will bury thee in a strange land, far from all that may love thee ; and no mother . will weep over thee a mother's tear, nor sister wreathe a garland of the wild fiowers, that daily she may renew. Observe that man. Sadly he sits beside that wreck ; he was the owner of the vessel which but yesterday rode gaily at anchor in the harbour — a strong, tight bark, ready for a voyage. He laments, uselessly bewails, his sudden loss: the wreck must be broken to pieces, sold by lots, all to be burnt, or applied to uses for which it seemed never to have been destined.* Such was my contemplation. I likened the world that I had left to the hurricane ; my present state was * The foregoing contemplation is, in every particular, a scene which I witnessed in the West Indies in my tenth year. A CONTEMPLATION. 81 the calm that followed, and the rising sun was the quickening spirit of rehgion. The remnants of the wreck were my remaining propensities and faiUngs ; those that were floating far and wide were my evil deeds — their scandal, that might be made an excuse to sin by others whom I had influenced, and thus the Evil One would find his prey. The mosses and shells were the faculties of my mind — Will, Memory, and Understanding — which would now be divinely trained and directed to the work of edification. The dead body — the carcass — was self-will — was self, now no longer living, if it was still unburied, and resigned to decay without reluctance, in spite of the heart's suggestions. The disconsolate owner of the stranded bark was the spirit of the world, that might now lament in vain the wreck of all that it had in me — all that was now to be burnt or applied to other uses, — uses which the spirit of the world could not conceive. My first day after the retreat was a holiday for me in both senses of the word : recreation for the body as well as gladness — exultation for the mind. Two of the novices were ordered to take me for a walk in the vicinity. We conversed cheerfully on the rules and regulations to which I was now to con- form ; and they seemed surprised, I remember, to find me so happy in my lot — so eager to run the race, to fight the battle, to ascend "unto the holy moun- tain." 82 BESCLTS. On meeting my brothers at recreation after dinner, I received congratulations on all sides — radiant, sweet' looks, that seemed to reflect the emotions of gladness I felt in being called to their brotherhood. My duties began in the afternoon, I think, with " manual works," but my probation did not virtually commence till the morning after. A preliminary idea of life in the Novitiate will be given in the following chapter; meanwhile I shall enable the reader to judge of the results of the Novitiate in my individual case, by transcribing a portion of a letter written to a friend in London, within a month after my admis- sion. With this friend I corresponded during the year. It is necessary to state that he was my fellow- student at college, and is a Roman Catholic. His letters were always given to me open: that is, with the seal broken ; my letters were given to the Supe- rior open, and he sealed and sent them to their desti- nation : whether they were read, or merely glanced over, I cannot say. This was perfectly undersftbod and agreed to on my part. I merely mention "• the fact as an elucidation : the extraordinary sentiments which my letters contained went forth "by permis- sion," either read or glanced over. I state the fact, the reader must draw conclusions. This letter, which has been kindly returned to me at my request, bears date the 8th of March, and is headed thus: — " From my sweet Hermitage at Hodder." Curiously enough, the name and day of the month are in Greek. It is written on a large sheet of paper. The first twenty or thirty lines relate RESULTS. 83 to some literary matters I had on hand when I left London : totally foreign to the present purpose, except a certain note which was to have been appended to a passage, and which called attention to a curious old book written by a Jesuit — the same which is alluded to in the introduction as " Hints on Etiquette." The letter proceeds as follows : — "However, now it (the note aforesaid) must be anathema ! for although our good Superior gave me leave in the first instance to write the note, he has since expressed his doubts whether it might not be detrimental to the Society, by exciting researches which may be directed to a wrong end, in these times of atrocious scandal. To such reasons I submit un- qualifiedly; nay, to the slightest intimation. You will, therefore, call on , and request him to omit the note, without explaining reasons, but merely by second thought. However, I leave all to your good judgment, do what you think fit, and you will do right. There was a time when I might have pre- ferred my own darling will in such a moment ; but,^ thank God ! I make the sacrifice with pleasure, so that you may consign it ' emendaturis ignibus' aut, 'in mare Creticum portare ventis,' and God be praised ! On its end I said, ' Laus Deo semper,' as I said in its beginning, ' Ad majorem Dei gloriam' — now, anathema sit! " And now, my dear friend, having eliminated these preliminaries, let us turn to our honey-comb, and sip of its sweets. Daily I grow more and more enamoured with this terrestrial paradise ; daily my G 2 84 RESULTS. heart overflows with love to my God, who has been so singularly kind to me ! I shudder when the me- mory of the past rises in judgment against me ! How I fluttered on the abyss of infidelity ! You remember the wanderings of my mind — the specious arguments she framed on the basis of impassioned flesh. Yes, I was almost a Deist, and imagined I served God in simphcity of heart. But the winter is past, and the spring-flowers of repentance have budded in my poor soul. For all God's mercies may his holy name be blessed ! I talked to you of a ' system' which I had framed ; I have given it to oblivion, fearful of the curse pronounced by the oracle of Truth — Corrupti et ahominahiles facti sunt in studiis eorum, &c. &c. Now I am cured ; now I begin to relish the milk of Truth ; and, from the midst of my soul, I exclaim — How happy and enviable is the mental condition of those, who, cradled on a boundless Faith, and cheer- fully sleeping on a magnificent Hope, can feel edified by every act of piety — can relish every legend, how- ever absurd in its conception, and rest secure as to the merit of their minutest practice, in the presence of their God ! The sceptic, puffed up with a proud exaltation of mind, may smile, and see an exemption from all such ' absurdities' in the abyss of God's mercy ; but he must still confess that his faith is but weak, and his hope but frail ; for if we ' would enter into life, we must become as little children.' V '^ tF ^P sjP" " Yes, my dear friend, without virtue no one can be happy. I was high-spirited before, but only now, RESULTS. 85 since I have left all to gain all, do I feel a joy which is inexpressible ; in truth, my. heart bursts with exultation, and I had almost said, ' Enough, enough !' . . . "All with ns is so regular j every minute appro- priated ; all my brethren so charitable, so loving, so filled with that piety which, albeit I have it not so abundantly as they, I can still admire it in them, and bless God. Oh! would that you were here, my dear friend ! Next to heaven, I cannot wish you anything greater ; for these solitudes only lack the ' beatific vision" to make them heaven itself ! Emi- nently favoured by nature, as you shall see when j'ou come to visit me, (which must be in June or July), they are fit for angels, not men. " Oh yes ! my soul, let us a thought of love ex- press ; for now the spring begins to rise from out her Testal grave, and, pure as virgin's heart, ascend her buds. Her breasts are fair, her locks stream beauti- fully down, and lo! her feet are sandalled by the flower-awakening showers. Haste ! my beloved ! my soul ! and with thy breath invite the primrose and the daisy to adore, with us, our God, when Spring shall ope her eyes. Invite the roses of the bowers, and daisy of the everlasting fields ; bid them, too, come and deck the garland for the Saviour's altar ; and His lily, too, honoured of flowers ! inno- cent and modest-eyed, with downcast look, and virgin purity. Come all ! and let us sing the praises of our God, because the Spring doth come to gladden all. The hills, the mountains, the dales, the bosky 86 RESULTS. dells — all shall re-echo to our song, because all shall rejoice! The flocks, the herds, slowly emerging with their unbound feet, shall come to our acclaim ; and lo ! the birds will chorus join, and all creation will a hymn upraise to God eternal ! Lovely Spring ! time of flowers J time of the loves and song of little birds ! Now breathes my soul a pious aspira- tion to her Love, my Saviour ! Blessed is Thy name, because Thou art the Love, the Life, of all — thrice blessed is Thy name !" Excuse this long quotation from a little work which 1 have conceived for you, particularly, to be entitled, "Solitude; or, the Spring-Flowers of my Hermitage." I shall give it to you, permissu superiorum, when concluded, if you come to see me next June or July. It will be religious, or mixto-religious — it will treat of the heart and its eternal love. The above is an ex- tract from it. I intended to send you the prooemium, but have not time or room. I find it a wonderful help to piety to record the burstings of sudden reli- gious feeling, and have found many of my inveterate presentiments overcome by writing down the contrary inspirations of the moment. These thoughts occur when L am at my " silent occupation"* in the garden, and my soul is so entranced with delight that, in truth, the body " dulci laborum decipitur sono"— they " Dissolve me in svreet exstacies, , And bring all Hearen before my eyes !" * That is, •• Manual Works,'' which are described in the next RESULTS. 87 The other morning, as I was in silence beneath the garden-willows, I heard the thrush warbling its little hymn to its Creator. I rejoiced with it, and imagina- tion bearing me to distant climes, I felt the delicious dream steal over me, and thus my memory narrates my thoughts — an offering to the God of all things and of Spring.* Tp tF w tF And now, my dear friend, I must tell you my joy for the pious resolution of our good friend . God be praised ! I have not ceased to pray for you both. Yesterday's fast and exercises I offered up for you — to-day's for our perseverance in our good purposes — and now I must beg you to pray for me, that I may be faithful to the great grace which has been vouchsafed to me — that it may be in truth eduxit in soliludinem, et quoniam voluit, salvum me fecit. Do take your resolution with de- termination — certa veriliter et prospere procede. Re- member the adage, consuetude consuetudine vincitui — cella continuata dulcescit — retirement becomes sweeter and sweeter, and the end of it is " a perfect possession of one's self" — a conviction that we walk in God and with God, and that angels attend us. But the election must be speedily made — delay were fatal. An eternity is at stake — present graces may never be offered again — seize them now — " for Heaven suffers violence, and the chapter. We were cautioned not to write about anything- that took place in the Novitiate — heuce the mystery of the allusion. • This is aa ode written in French — it is given in the Appendix. 88 RESULTS. violent bear it away." It is related* in Hilary de Cost's " Eloges des femmes illustres," that Jane, daughter of Alphonsus V., King of Portugal, was sought after in marriage, on account of her incom- parable beauty, by the greatest princes of Christen- dom. Three particularly desired her hand — Louis XL, for his dauphin, Charles VIIL; Maximihan of Austria; and Richard IIL of England. But she, elevating her thoughts still higher, renounced the marriage of earthly kings for that of the King of Heaven ; to whom she sacrificed the beauty which she had received from his hand, and became a re- cluse in the very austere monastery of Alveiro, of the order of St. Dominic. The conduct of this young princess may serve to symbolise that of our soul. We may say that she is beautiful, because she serves God, and therefore must love Him — amrni- do Deum pulchra efficitur. And she is sought after in marriage. The princes of darkness have all desired her.— Mammon, the god of riches and the pride of life — Lucifer, the god of human applause and ambition — and Asmodeus, the god of pleasure and sensuality. But she has re- jected all their offers for the Divine spouse Christ Jesus. Let us make her choice eternal. If we love a creature, however beautiful or amiable, our love still craves on, and there is no fuel to satisfy its burning : but if we love Thee, my God ! where shall it end ? or when shall the soul exclaim " Enough ?" • Vide St. Jure, Connais. de Jesus Christ. RESULTS. 89 Thou art beyond all space, all time — and at the thought of Thy name, the soul swells and is exalted. In Thee, as in an abyss, we may lose our- selves in infinite and eternal love — may ascend to the highest heaven where Thou livest midst the blaze of seraphim and cherubim — or descend to the lowest of hell where Thou art terrible in the furnace of Thine anger ! We may see and love Thee in all Thy creatures — in the modest primrose which first salutes the spring, or in the grandeur of the centenary oak. We may love Thee in the song of the friendly linnet that pipes its little accent of praise, or in the thunder and crash of elements when the devastating hurricane rages, and to Thy name sings "Venite adoremus .'" Come let us adore ! for thou art an unfathomable and boundless ocean of being — HiXayos y&p 2i; ducrias &TreLpov Kai aopia-rov. My dear friend, you know the sincerity of my heart — believe me, if I now hold a different language to you than I was wont to indulge in, I love you, and therefore would wish you as well off as myself on the Great Day ! Tell , * he has done well — but has yet more to do. Let him consider the case well ! Still for ever yours — adieu — and pray for me, both of you — that I may persevere — that is all — I am, thank God ! ver^ happi/," Such were the " results" of three weeks in the Novitiate. That a total change — a metamorphosis, • Alluding to a friend whom I had advised to embrace the priesthood — he took my advice — at all events he has become a priest ! 90 RESULTS. had taken place in my mind, is, perhaps, very evi- dent ; and the enthusiasm of the letter will prepare the reader for what is to follow. Every previous train of thought in my mind was broken up ; newr roads and by-paths were being made through its wilderness. 91 CHAPTER VII. A day's occupation. The reader may perhaps remember a pretty little fable {^Der Adler) of Leasing : — " Man once asked the Eagle, ' Why dost thou bring up thy young so high in the air ?' The Eagle replied, ' Would they, when grown up, venture so near the sun if I brought them up low down on the earth 1 ' " The plan of Ignatius is just the reverse: he clips the wings of the will long before the joyous scenes of nature's freedom tempt it to soar. He begins with abasement — humiliation — complete subj ection — de- gradation, and ends with (the certain result) " perfect obedience." This he ensures by never-ending prac- tice : of this he is convinced before he says to the trembling novice, " Proceed !" ; and this, finally, he secures by a vow — pronounced freely, fervently, in the presence of his representative and a witness — to the Eternal God ! If I am asked what is the essential characteristic of a Jesuit in the estimation of his superiors — the characteristic which alone gives value to every virtue or talent — without which characteristic 92 A day's occupation. in its most unscrupulous, in its blindest extravagance, the society disowns, discards him, — I say that cha- racteristic is perfect obedience. This is the very soul of the society, — the heart, the mainspring, the fulcrum, the foundation, the royal hank of the society which is alvyays solvent, however large, sudden, or unexpected the demand may be! In his Superior the Jesuit "lives, moves, and has his being;" the will of the Superior is to him the will of God.* We rose at five, or half past, I forget which. The brother porter (of whose office, morg anon) walked from curtain to curtain, which he scratched, uttering the words " Deo gratias !" " thanks be to God !" to which every novice replied, " Lfeo gratias .'" and rose instantly. As soon as he was out of bed he pulled the upper sheets over the foot of the bed, and, "collecting himself," that is, thinking of God, or% making some pious ejaculations, he dressed him- self as speedily as possible, but still with the utmost decorum, without bustle or noise. When completely dressed, and not before, he emerged from his cell. One after another we filed down to the back regions of the house, where there was a pump, and there we performed the first menial duty of " Holy Obedience." * See CoNSTiT. passim — ^but more particularly Part vi. c. 5, where it is decided that the guilt of sin is attached to disobedience when the Superior commands, " in the name of our Lord Jesus Cfcn'st, or in Virtue of Obedience ! " The subject will be fully discussed in the sequel. A day's occupation. 93 This was done calmly, seriously, piously, — for we walked in prayer. I doubt not that the reader will imagine that we must have been tempted to smile and indulge an excusable merriment at many of our occupations. At first, such symptoms of frivolity were apparent; but after a week or two, it was astonishing how seriously the very thing that had seemed so comical inspired sentiments of devotion. But the reason is obvious. Clement XIV., the pope who abolished the society of the Jesuits cooked for himself, whilst a prey to the dismal malady that proceeded from, or followed that suppression,— because " poniards and poison were incessantly before him."* CiNCiNNATUS the Roman, victorious over the enemies of his country, returned in triumph to Rome, but laid down his office as dictator, and retired to plough his fields. Dionysixis of Syracuse, and Louis Philippe, it is said, were not ashamed " to keep a school." A hundred examples of the like nature crowd to the mind, and all give evidence that when the human will is firmly directed by any motive, human or divine, things despised, abhorred before, become invested with honour — inspire sen- timents of esteem and affection. The first repug- nance will give place to satisfaction ; and the motive held forth, whatever it may be, will induce us to outstrip the letter of necessity in the spirit of love. " Call it a travel that thou tak'st for pleasure, The sullen presage of thy weary steps, • Count A. de Saint Priest— Fall of the Jesuits, p. 91. 94 A day's occupation. Esteem a foil, wherein thou art to set The precious jewel of thy home return."* From the pump aforesaid, we proceeded to the lavatory ; washed, and returned to our cells to brush our hair. We had not much to brush. When I went to the Novitiate my hair was long, and fell to my shoulders; The contrast, when I saw the jail-fashion of the novices, was unpleasant • and I had the weakness to retain the "honour of the head," despite the tacit admonition. I expected every day an order to con- form, but it never came ; till at length, ashamed of myself, I sacrificed the toy of vanity, and was reli- giously shorn by the cook. " Hyacinthine locks," then, were out of the ques- tion, — few retained more than an inch or two, — but still we brushed the stubble, and brushed it well, for there was "meriff in every action when performed by holy obedience. The reader must bear in mind that not one word but the " Deo gratias" has been spoken, and nothing has been seen but what was immediately before the eyes. We walked with looks prone to the earth ; no one durst raise his eyes from the ground : " for the custody of the eyes" was never relaxed except during recreation-hours, and even then " much might be done" in the spirit of the rule. The rule of the Summary, which fashions the ex- terior of the novice, is the following : — " All should take the most diligent care to guard • Shaksp., Rich. II. t Const., Part iv. c. 6. A day's occupation. 95 the gates of the senses, — particularly the eyes, ears, and tongue, from all irregularity ; and preserve them- selves in peace and true internal humility, — and to exhibit this humility by silence, when it is to be observed ; but when they are to speak, by the cir- cumspection and edification of their words, and mo- desty of their looks, and demureness* of their steps, and every movement — without any sign of impatience or pride : in all things procuring and deserving that the best of everything should be given to others, esteeming in their mind, all others, as it were, their superiors, and by outwardly exhibiting with sim- plicity and religious moderation, the respect and reverence which the rank of the party demands : and thus it may come to pass that, taking thought for each other reciprocally, they may increase in devotion, and praise God our Lord, whom each should study to recognise in another as in His image.f Twenty minutes, or half an hour, I forget which, elapsed from the time of rising — the clock gave its notice — the brother porter rang thrice successively — we marched into the chapel. After a short prayer in silence, the porter read the "points" of the medi- tation. We meditated kneeling, standing, sitting, and kneeling again, for the space of an hour. The chapel is about the size of an ordinary par- lour. Benches, with long cushions in front, are placed transversely, and along the sides. The porter's place was near the door, and any one quitting the chapel had first to ask his leave. * Maturitate incessfls. t Const., Part iii. c. 1, 4. 96 A day's occupation. The Superior meditated in his room, I suppose ; for he only came in for mass. In the Superior's, absence, on all occasions, the Porter, a novice of the, second year,* was, as it were, Superior : we could not even leave the recreation-room, the garden, or play- ground, without his permission ; which, of course^ was always given. Any irregularity in the applicant, as to the frequency of the application, or otherwise,, would be reported to the Superior ; who, if he thought proper, would reprimand the delinquents, either privately or in public, by a " brief :" of which more, anon. Meditation ended, the Superior entered, and re- hearsed the " Litany of Jesus," — a sweet, affection- ate appeal to the Redeemer, which makes every thrilling incident in the life of the Man made God, a source of ardent hope and steadfast confidence. Standing before the chest of drawers that contained the vestments, the Superior robed himself, muttering the prayers which the Romish Church prescribes for the occasion: but there was no looking-glass before him, as I have seen on other similar occasions, whea the thought occurred to me, that if vanity sug- gested to the priest that use of woman's " best com- panion," — still,. " Vice sometime 's by action dignified." Mass commenced ; and we joined in spirit in the awful " Sacrifice." As soon as mass was ended, we rose — eyes down- • That is, a novice who had passed one of the two years of proba- tion. A day's occupation. 97 cast, head inclined a little, not much — hands joined on the breast — and walked decorously to our cells for half an hour's " spiritual reading." This was Rodriguez on " Christian Perfection." If the Jesuits were asked to produce a book which contained their recognised morality, " Christian Per- fection," by Rodriguez, would be, I imagine, the book selected : not " Escobae," " Lessius," " Bu- SEMBAUM," &c., though published with the neces- sary* " FacuUaS) approbatio, licentia, consensus et per- missio,"f whereby the respective works became the exponent of the Society's indoctrination. Accordingly, "Rodriguez" is put into the hands of the Novices, who must be conquered by the sweet spirit of Heaven before they can be ruled and fash- ioned by the spirit of men — for I will spare the anti- thesis. Admirable means and worthy of a better end ! I relished the book exceedingly : my half hour before breakfast always passed agreeably even when tormented by the restless " chain," of which more in the sequel. Our breakfast consisted of oatmeal porridge, with milk and bread. Grace was said in Latin. We ate in silence and "recollection,"! and with downcast eyes. * Const. 5, d. 0. I was reminded of the mandate by the Provincial when he admitted me. t See Lib, Theol. Moral., by Escobab, 8vo. Lugd. 1659, which ex- hibits all the above credentials duly signed and dated. X Thomas a Kempis will explain what is meant by this technical term of asceticism. " My son, you should diligently strive, in every place and action, or external occupation, to look within thyself, un- fettered, in self-possession; and let all things be subjected to you, H 98 A DATt'S OCCUPATION. The porter alone was exempt from this restriction, for he had to see that others did their duty. When all had finished he rose — we did the same — grace was said — we followed him to the dormitory. A minute or two elapsed and the bell rang. It called us to the chapel for a lecture on the rules of the Novitiate. Each novice had a little book called "The Summary." "The Summary" is written in Latin, and contains about thirty rules, extracted from the " Constitutions," for the guidance of the novices. We had to get these rules by heart ; but some how or other I could never say them well. I have penanced myself over and over again for this defalca- tion ; have tried every means, but could never suc- ceed. I always stammered and broke down. This was very annoying to me. My memory is naturally very quick and tenacious. I easily learned and retain to the present time the " Odes of Horace ;" but the rules of " The Summary" have not left a vestige behind as far as the Latin construction is concerned; though the duties involved I shall for ever remember: I learned them by practice. The lectures read to us were composed by one Father Plowden, formerly master of the novices at Hodder. They were remarkably well written, always wel,l arranged, luminous, full of vigour, and not unfrequehtly facetious. I enjoyed these lectures. And yet, strange to say, it was the lecture which and not yourself to them : that you may be the lord and ruler of your actions, not their servant and slave." — De Imit. 1. III. t. 38. 99 referred to the downfall of the society, and the charges brought against it, that first shook D»y reso- lution to become a Jesuit. I shall never forget the impression made on my mind by the concentrated ferocity with which the character of an English priest* who had written against the society, was assailed. In reading the passage the meek Father of the novices seemed to tremble at the words of wrath. After the lecture we assembled, in groups of three or four, in the dormitory, for the purpose of repeating as much of it as we could remember; making notes upon a slate : for on a subsequent day we had to appear in the chapel to be questioned on the sense and spirit of the rule as explained in the former lecture. I think a quarter of an hour was the time allotted to this rehearsal. At its expiry the porter went to the end of the dormitory, and cried out " Deo gratias !" Every voice was stopped : it was the order " to make our beds I" Our. beds were comfortable, though of coarse ma- terials : hard, " mortifying" mattresses to the sensual. The bedstead was so constructed as to turn on a hinge ; so that, after making the bed, we strapped the lower part and turned the bedstead up, securing it with a belt, so as to leave more room in our little cells. I say cells, but the Jesuits are not monks : they scorn the very notion. A wooden partition, which did not reach * Referring, perhaps, to the fierce dissensioDS between the regular and secular clergy of England, many years ago. 1 think a full account of the matter appeared in the Gentleman's Magazine. Tantsne animis caelestibus irse ! H 2 100 A day's occupation. the ceiling, divided the dormitory into compartments, giving to each novice about as much space as a pas- senger has in a packet-ship for his berth. Each compartment contained a small desk (without a lock, of course) and a chair. A crucifix was suspended over the desk, and I think there was a pot containing " holy water." In the desk were our books, papers, discipline or whip, chain, &c. I say our, but I am wrong : meum and tuum were to be totally forgotten. A quarter of an hour was allowed for making beds. Then came " manual works." These were divided into in-door and out-of-door works. When there was no lecture, an hour for each division — on other occasions, half an hour. I could not help admiring the neatness and facility with which the novices worked in every department. Only a few lessons were requisite in the first instance, and then each seemed to become master of the respective art, whether it was that of sweeping, dusting, shoe-cleaning, &c. Indeed, after a year's training in these mysteries, I think a man might conscientiously, in a case of emergency, undertake to make himself " generally useful," as " a servant of all work." In-door manual works consisted in all the func- tions of domestic economy. You went to the porter, and said ^'Deo gratias!" He replied, "sweep the dormitory, clean knives, clean shoes, sweep the recreation-room, sweep up the hearth, dust the chairs," &c. Sometimes the " Deo gratias" would be answered A day's occupation. 101 by, " go to Brother So-and-so, ' ia the refectory." Brother So-and-so would then order you to sweep the room, or set the benches, or lay the cloths, or plates, or knives and forks ; and when he had nothing more for you to do, he would answer your " Deo gratias!" by another "Deo gratias!" and you went again to the porter. The porter would then, perhaps, order you to go to another brother. This brother, on hearing the " Deo gratias !" might order you to go and fetch the " tub ;" or perhaps he would go with you, as it required two persons to lift it. This tub was set ready by the lay- brother at the kitchen door. You carried the tub to the back region of the house, and then you washed, and wiped the utensils there deposited; and then you scrubbed the sedilia, swept out the adjacent localities, made all neat and tidy, and returned the tub aforesaid to where you found it. This part of manual works was considered the most trying to pride; and, consequently, it was not ordered to new novices. For my part, I often longed for the order, in my fervour; afid when it was vouchsafed me, I was rather grieved to think that perhaps the compa- nion selected for me was chosen in order to diminish my repugnance — which certainly did not exist. At all events, my companion was a son of Lord , a Catholic nobleman. I may mention that at the time of which I am speaking there were in the No- vitiate, besides the gentleman just alluded to, the son of a baronet, and two near relatives of another Roman Catholic nobleman. Before I left I think we numbered about twenty novices in all. 102 A day's occupation. Other occupations consisted in dusting the books, cleaning out the chapel, polishing plate, &c. Ste- in a word, every domestic work was performed by the novices, excepting cooking ; which was, however, in the hands of the lay-brother, and an assistant who was a lay-novice. When the appointed hour was passed,, we were ordered into the garden. Here we were sent to dig potatoes or root up weeds — to pick fruit, or sweep away dry leaves, to roll the play-ground, or clean the walks, — according to the season. The "custody of the senses" is strictly kept during all these various operations. Imagine the scene — its pious regularity — sanctified homeliness — beautiful poverty — and perfect obedience. Some- times several worked in company. On such occa- sions 1 have been reminded of a scene I beheld when sailing past one of the West India islands — a " gang" of poor negroes on a hill side — naked to the waist, whilst the tropical sun blazed cruelly hot : but little they recked that terrible sun ! They stood in a row — curved to the work — and their hoes went up and their hoes went down, like the hammer of a clock that seems to curse with its clash the tyrant time ! All the works, then, were carried on in perfect silence : the eyes fixed on what was before you : they were indeed, never raised on any account as we walked through any part of the house, on any occasion what- ever. When the time was very nearly expired, on giving the porter the " Deo gratias," he said " Deo gra- A. day's occupation. 103 tias;" which meant that he had nothing more for you to do. You then went and washed your hands, put on your cassock and slippers — for slippers were worn in the house to favour silence — and remained in your cell for the next order. This time the " Deo gratias " meant " study "— which lasted an hour. The term is apt to mislead: no profane study is allowed in the Novitiate. The " study" of the Novitiate is asceticism, spirituality. But then this was acquired through the medium of the languages with which the novices were ac- quainted : the languages were " kept up ;" nothing was to be lost in the Novitiate except individuality or self-will. For instance, I was ordered to read a little German, Italian, and Spanish daily, though only for a quarter of an hour. All the novices had acquired the French language, and were well grounded in Latin. The subjects for "study" were appointed by the Superior. It might be the lives (in Latin) of eminent Jesuits who suffered "martyrdom" in Holland, in England, and in Japan ; or it might consist in trans- lating from St. Cyprian or Bernaed, or the " Con- fessions of St. Augustine," &c. The discourses of Bernard on the Canticles were appointed to me, and they certainly well accorded with the glowing enthusiasm which filled my soul with "love divine." It was during this hour that we wrote letters to our friends, concerning which I shall speak in its proper place. These, of course, were necessarily sermons in their way. During this hour we wrote our short dis- 104 A day's occupation. courses to be preached to our brother-novices — for we had sermons of this sort, I think, twice or thrice a week. In a word, the hour was industriously em- ployed in the manner prescribed by the Superior. Had you been permitted to enter the dormitory during that hour, you would never imagine that every cell contained an active, intelligent, thoughtful soul engaged in a mighty struggle^ without a doubt of victory : and yet it was intent on one grand consum- mation, namely, to die to itself in order to live in perfect obedience. I need not say that the stillness of the tomb prevailed on all sides; and if ever my thoughts wandered, the sound of the wind, or of the rushing waters of the stream below when the wintry torrents gave it voice, seemed an admonition as it were of the eternal trumpet that has yet to proclaim " Awake, O dead ! " But I must not anticipate my visions and my dreams. I had enough. Heaven knows! I shall hereafter narrate one or two; and the reader will then believe me when I say that I wonder at no recital of the kind in times of old or times present. About twenty minutes before dinner, the "Deo gratias " was given out by the porter. We went and washed, and at the sound of the bell we said (to our- selves) what Roman Catholics call the " Angelus." It consists of three sentences and three Ave Marias in memory of the Annunciation of the Virgin Maey. We then went to chapel. The reader may perhaps fancy that we have not had much time for sinning ; but he is mistaken : A day's occupation. 105 we went to chapel for the examination of conscience. We remained kneeling during this quarter of an hour. It may be asked what we examined our consciences to find ? I will state a few novice-sins,* and the result of this proceeding will render the matter per- fectly intelligible. Suppose a novice walked rather hurriedly — it was a fault. If he contradicted his bro- ther in conversation — it was a fault. If he failed in the custody of the eyes — it was a fault. It might happen that he spoke more to one than another — it was a fault. He laughed too loudly — that was a fault. In fine, he has not "done his best" in every public duty — this is a fault. These are sins; but every novice has some particular failing, which he has determined more or less fervently to vanquish: here, then, is an interesting battle to fight. I will copy from my diaryf at Hodder, five resolutions made on the " day of St. Stanislaus." * "The Constitutions, Declarations, and Order of Life do not bind under penalty of sin " in the usual acceptation of the term : but it was difScuIt — I speak from experience — to divest the mind of the fear. The mystification, therefore, just alluded to, answers the end in view. Those who stand beside the roaring cataract of Niagara can hear, but indistinctly, if at all, the report of a cannon, but in the chapel where we meditated in the Novitiate, you might hear a pin fall, or the heart beat. In after life a Jesuit may sin against the Constitutions, &c., without scruple ; but a novice — I speak from experience — has a con- science whose nerves, like the fingers, ears, and smell of the blind, keenly admonish or rack with afixight. f I regret to say that I have lost a whole volume of that diary — it would have been very useful on the present occasion. 106 A day's occupation. " Resolutions on St. Stanislaus. " Henceforth my continual thoughts will be Jesus, Mary, Stanislaus. O Lord, it is good for us to be here ! Let me make three tents — one for Thee, one for our sweet Mother, and one for Stanislaus. I will wait upon you — not daring to enter — but standing without, and ministering. O sweet ! O most sweet Jesus ! never more permit me to be separated from Thee! " Res. I. — To do everything in the best manner. " XL — Never to go to public duties with dirty shoes, &c. " in. — To keep my room in order. " IV. — ^To conform to the will of others. " V. — To do nothing extra without the consent of the Superior. " Jesus ! Mary ! Stanislaus." I find also an entry thus : — " December* — Review and Renovation. Defect in observing the 29th Rule — Occasional vanity. Re- solution — Five or ten minutes' prayer daily to St. Ig- natius to obtain the spirit of the 11th, 12th, and 29th Rules. " Noster autem Jesus, tanquam agnus mansuetus, omnem austeritatem abstulit !" Every novice kept a small piece of paper (one is * That is, about a month before my secession — it is manifest, there- fore, that my fervour in self-reformation had not subsided. A DAY S OCCUPATION. 107 still in my possession), ruled with seven lines, for every day in the week, and he made dots on the lines, accordingly as he broke his resolution. The number should, of course, diminish on the lines with the days of the week. The subjoined is the form of the Soul's Day-book for casual entries — the two lines referring to the two daily examinations. Thus, by sheer necessity, were the sins to diminish in number by the end of each week ! Had you been in the chapel during this examina- tion, you would have wondered why some of the novices left their places and went into the Superior's 108 A day's occupation. room, one by one ; returning after the lapse of a second or two. The Superior stood in his room, the novice knelt before him, and said : — " Holy Father I I have done such and such a thing, for which I beg permission to perform such and such a penance." The Superior gave leave, if he thought proper; or commuted the penance into something else, more or less severe. It must be remembered that only public faults could be thus proclaimed ; but, of course, with permission, public expiation of a private fault might be made. The clock struck — we went to the refectory. We stood around — not all, for the novices who had gone into the Superior's room were now kneeling on the floor, with their arms outstretched at full length in the form of a cross. The superior said grace ; those who were standing took their seats, and those who were kneeling began their " public confession." As there were penitents every day, the novices were divided into three companies for that purpose; five or six in each company doing penance in rotation on the appointed day. Kneeling, as I have described, and the Superior standing in his place, the first penitent would stoop, kiss the floor, and confess, as follows : — " Holy Father ! I acknowledge my fault in having neglected the custody of eyes on one or two occa- sions, for which fault holy obedience enjoins me to do penance." This penance was probably a De profundis for the souls in purgatory — that is, he repeated to himself A day's occupation. 109 the 130th Psalm, kneeling where he was, with out- stretched arms. The second penitent would say : — " Holy Father ! I acknowledge my fault in talking too loud during recreation, for which, &c. &c." He probably had to say the " Miserere," or 51st Psalm. When the psalm was concluded, the penitent kissed the floor again, rose and went to his place at the table. The third penitent would say : — " Holy Father ! I acknowledge my' fault in having been too positive in maintaining my opinion, for which fault, &c. &c." His penance was, perhaps, to rise after havmg dined, with his can in his hand ; he then went to a brother, knelt before him, and presented his can to be filled : he drank the drink of humihation, kneel- ing. A fourth would say : — " Holy Father ! I acknowledge my fault in having spoken somewhat sharply to a brother, for which fault, &c. See." He went to the brother and kissed his feet The fifth might be the porter. He might say:— " Holy Father ! I acknowledge my faults in having neglected several duties, and in scandalising my brothers by my worldly remarks in conversation, for which faults, &c. &c." He stooped, kissed the floor, rose, and, proceeding 110 A day's occupation. from brother to brother, he kissed the feet of all, the Superior included. This penance affected me very much when I first witnessed it, which occurred during ray retreat. Sometimes the penitent would eat his dinner kneeling, at a small table placed for the purpose in the middle of the refectory. On one occasion a novice prostrated himself at the threshold of the door, crying to each brother as he stepped over liiin, "Pray for. me, brother!" This penance occurred but once in my year. It was dur- ing the awful time of the " thirty days' retreat ;" and the penitent was — myself. ■' The penitent chose his penance ; or rather the penance presented itself to his mind in the similitude of an inspiration. So much, indeed, was this symp- tom a part of my mind's distemper during my Novitiate, that the idea of what I wished to do remained in my mind as the remembrance of the penance performed. Thus, upon reflection, I am unable to say whether I actually prostrated myself — as my mind suggested, or only knelt by the door and repeated the words. When I wrote the passage I had a full conviction that the penance was performed as I have given it, but a few days since the thought suddenly occurred to me that I had requested per- mission to perform that penance, but it was commuted by the Superior into the last mentioned modification. Of course we dined in silence ; but a rule of the Summary enjoins that " whilst the body is refreshed, the soul, too, may have its food." Accordingly we had A day's occupation. Ill a reader. The first thing read was the " Rornaa Martyrology," that is, the notice of the saint for the day ; then followed the " Fasti Societatis Jesu," giving the commemoration of the saint of the society, or eminent member, for the day. If there was no " Brief" to be read, the reader proceeded with the work in hand. The work in hand was, of course, appointed by the Superior, and always spiritual, or directly in accor- dance with the scope and aim of the Novitiate. When I first went to the Novitiate, the work was the one alluded to in the first article, as " Hints on Etiquette." I regret that I can neither remember the name of the book nor of the author. Every sentence was an axiom on politeness, and in accordance with the most rigid opinions on that subject. It was written by a German, and in Latin. I need not state that the "Martyrology" and " Fasti" were also in Latin. Among the works read in the refectory during my year, I may mention the " History of the Church of Japan," detailing the exploits of Xavier and his companions j " Christian Perfection," by Rodriguez ; " Difference between Temporal and Eternal," — a truly awful affair ; " The lives of the Saints," by Alban Butler. After dinner, we went to the chapel for a few minutes ; this being a visit to the " blessed Sacra- ment :" for the " holy elements" were constantly kept on the tabernacle of the altar. This visit ended, we walked demurely to the recreation-room. I fancy I hear the reader exclaim, " At last !" but 112 A day's occupation. we have not done with prayer and " recollection" as yet. As soon as the novice entered, he knelt down and said an Ave Maria, to place himself under the protection of the Virgin. If the weather permitted we adjourned to the garden, where we paced up and down the walks, chatting on " professioual" topics, pleasantly, quietly — entertaining each other by what we had read, and stimulating the spirit by original thoughts, if any, expressed in the glowing words of sincerity : for I cannot imagine it possible for a man to be a hypo- crite in the Novitiate. I judge from myself. It requires an overwhelming fervour and determination to conquer human nature in order to submit to the Novitiate for two long years without intermission. And who is the man that can play the hypocrite in the midst of so many rules and regulations, goading him on every side : in the midst of so many eyes that have him in charge — ay, that have his immortal soul in charge, for which they have to answer according to the " spirit of Ignatius ?" An hour was allowed for recreation. At its ex- piry the bell summoned us to the chapel for another visit to the " blessed Sacrament." It was now two o'clock. " Manual works" began our afternoon duties. These lasted only one hour ; half an hour in the house and half an hour in the garden. Any work left unfinished in the morning had then to be com- pleted : for it must be remembered that, as soon as the bell rang, whatever you were doing must be in- stantly relinquished, or you committed a fault against A day's occupation. 113 holy obedience. In-door work in the . afternoon con- sisted chiefly in preparing the Refectory for supper ; out-of-door work as usual. The remaining hours before supper were employed in reading, writing, rehearsing the Rosary, &c. The Rosary is a devotion to the Virgin, consisting of one hundred and fifty Ave Marias, of fifteen Pater Nosters, and the Gloria ; with a Meditation, during the rehearsal, on the principal incidents in the life of Mary and Christ. This always seemed to me rather strange ; for I could never comprehend how one could pray to God or the Virgin whilst thinking of something else. I used to say the prayers, and then meditate for a few minutes. During this portion of the day the novice might be sent for by the Superior to be " advised" or " lec- tured," or " questioned" on his spiiitual progress. Or he might go to the Superior with his " diflSculties," after asking leave of the brother porter to leave the dormitory : for no one could leave the room without permission. The novice scratched the curtain, the porter whispered " Come in !" and you stated your wish, which was always granted. The curtain was never to be closed until you retired, if on any occasion you had to remain a few minutes in a brother's cell* — nor could vou go to it without leave. Towards six o'clock (when we supped) the porter went to the end of the dormitory, and sang out "Deo gratias !" This meant that you had to go to your * Const, p. iii. c. 1. D. p. 109. I 114 A day's occupation. brother monitor. Of this personage I shall speak in the proper place. This duty ended, we retired to our rooms, and after the lapse of a few minutes the bell rang for supper. During supper we were read to, as during dinner; excepting the " Martyrology" and " Fasti." I may mention that there were two novices ap- pointed by turns to wait at table. They wore a long white apron as a badge of their office during the per- formance of their functions. Our dinner was always plentiful and substantial. Supper consisted either of sliced meat or rice pud- dings, crowned with preserves and milk. We had beer and water to drink. Most of the novices drank water, but the jug of beer was always there. By long standing the beer sometimes got sour : in that state I have drunk it for " mortification." I cannot say whether it was always drunk with the same intention. I must here state, that we were enjoined to satisfy our appetite — no mortifications were allowed in this matter. The Superior once said to me, " Brother Steinmetz, you do not eat enough^-yoa require all you get to preserve your strength for the duties of the Novitiate : 'tis hard work, and nature must be supported." On the other hand, any " pampering" was instantly checked. When I first went I once or twice used some vinegar. I was checked for this. On another occasion I ate mustard with boiled meat- — I was told, that this was irregular : nor was I permitted to eat A day's occupation. 115 meat without salt and mustard when I took it into my head thus to " mortify" the spirit. The Superior, in his admonition, remarked, that in this cold climate such accessories tended to promote digestion. Reasons are not often given to novices, but this worthy gentle- man did sometimes kindly explain the why and wherefore to me. After supper we had another hour of recreation, which was, as before, preceded by the " visit" and "Ave Maria" aforesaid. In summer we walked in the garden ; in winter we remained at the fireside. I must state that there was also a stove in the dor- mitory. The Superior sometimes visited us during recreation, and told us such pious news as he thought would interest us. At eight o'clock the porter rang his bell. We now went to chapel for another examination of conscience, which lasted a quarter of an hour, as before. Then followed the reading of the " Points" of the meditation for the next morning ; the " Litany of the Virgin ;" the " Blessing ;" the " Kissing of the Relic." This last duty was performed thus : — the Superior held the relic in his right hand, and a small napkin in his left. After presenting it to the lips of one novice he wiped it, and so on. I must say that I never thoroughly conquered my repugnance to " submit" to this kissing ; but " Ad majorem Dei gloriam" was my adopted motto : I forgot the act in the intention. From the chapel we retired to the dormitory. In I 2 116 A day's occupation. an instant you might hear all the beds creaking on their hinges, and resuming the horizontal. We got between the sheets as soon as possible, " right tired" in body and mind, and never likely to suffer from want of sleep. A few minutes after, the porter came round, scratching at each curtain with his " Deo gratias !" to which each novice responded : if he had not fallen asleep, which sometimes happened. If it was a " mortification night" the novices re- mained sitting in their beds,, waiting for the tinkling of a small bell ; and then each administered to himself, on his back, bared for the purpose, the " discipline :" of which more hereafter. , Such is a day's occupation in the Novitiate — not every day's occupation, but one that may serve as a sample. Other duties of the Novitiate required de- viations from this "order of the day," I think the reader will readily agree with me that if Eugene Sue intended his terrible "Moroc"* to typify the Society of the Jesuits, the idea of that " tamer of wild beasts" was well imagined. One must either break down in the Novitiate, or break forth a being of another world. Le Sage intimates that a monk should be more or, less than a man; and I will add that a Jesuif should be a — Jesuit. Perhaps by the time we part the reader may be enabled to form some distinct, definite idea of this wonderful being. * See "The Wanderiog Jew." 117 CHAPTER VIII. GUI BONO, OR what's THE GOOD OF IT ? The details of a day's occupation in the Novitiate have produced, I doubt not, various effects on my readers. Some have smiled, others have laughed, some have shuddered, others have been indignant. Not a few, I trust, have penetrated beneath the rip- pling surface, and have caught a glimpse, as it were, of the " hidden things" that lie at the bottom. All have asked " Cui bono ?" I shall now endeavour to answer the question. One striking fact must, however, have surprised the reader. He must have exclaimed : " What ! no mention of the Bible among the books set before men studying Christian perfection?" I answer, None ! We did not read the Bible ; or, if any did so, they did it privately and by special permission. But, in point of fact, why should a Roman Cathohc read the Bible ? By so doing, he only exposes himself to temptation against the faith : he may " wrest the Scripture to his own perdition.'' All " proximate occasions" of sin must be avoided : — the Bible is such to him — therefore the Bible whould be avoided! Observe, the Roman Catholics do not admit this matter-of-fact argumentation — not 118 GUI BOKO? they, indeed ! They will tell you to read, of course : but beware of interpreting contrary to the promul- gated doctrines ! Of what use, then, are the Scriptures to these men ? For the study of the priest, who will take care to read and explain them to his congregation. Besides, they are necessary in order to prove that the "Church" is the Churchj and then the " Church" returns the favour by proving that the Scriptures are the Scriptures — as beautiful a " vicious circle" as was ever circumscribed by the compasses of sophistry. For my part, I read the Bible when a boy : I read it when at college. Roman Catholics are not for- bidden to read the Bible ; only a discretion is used in the permission to read : such is the distinction, which answers the important end in view, viz., subjection to the Infallible Popedom. I return to the question. The scope and end of all the training in the Novitiate were, to teach the meaning and practice of the Three Vows which were to be made at the end of two years' probation. Its aim was to lay a deep, broad foundation, whereon the " Society " would build, as it thought most ex- pedient : ostensibly " for the greater glory of God," but virtually, effectually, infallibly for its own ad- vancement. This is not an unfair assertion. I con- clude thus from facts. Is not a devoted life-and- death love of the Society considered the first sign of a true vocation to it? Is not this love cherished, fostered, stimulated by every motive human and divine ? It may be objected that such characteristics CUI BONO? 119 must be more or less common to the members of every association, and are essential to its existence. I admit the objection, and affirm that it only renders my assertion more probable. Further, if my impres- sions in the Novitiate be worthy of attention, I say that every conversation in which the concerns of the Society were discussed, tended to plant and water this conviction in my mind. It was always " what we (the society of Jesuits) have done — what we are doing — what we will do." Every man strove to render himself acceptable to the Society : the sample, the pattern being given, every man knew the number of stitches and shades requisite to knit together the " coat of many colours" which adorns the favourite son of Ignatius. " Begun by God," it is written, "the Society must be preserved by Divine, not by human means" ;* but still care must be taken that it be increased in num- ber,-j- and prayers must be said for its preservation and increase. As the past was, so will the future be ; if human nature is the same for ever. And yet one is inclined to doubt the fact. Were there ever such men in the Society ? Many reasons may be alleged for the negative opinion. For how could men, dead to the world, crucified with Christ, who made themselves a holocaust to God — formed by so many constitutions, so many regulations ; tried by so many probations, admonished by so many illus- trious examples, aided by so many annual retreats, so many meditations, reading, daily exhortations — by * Const. § 1. p. 61, and P. x. § 1. t P. i. c. 1, Const., and Part ii. cap. 1, § 1. 1 20 CtJI BONO ? so many holy sacraments, vows — by so many divin words and illuminations, — fall off so basely to such an extent as to think of Egypt in the Holy Land, — after having put their hands to the plough, to look behind, — forgetting the Divine glory, their salvation, the edification of their neighbour, wickedly to indulge the suggestions of private affection and human neces- sity, basely to consult their own interests; and, as far as they could go in this direction, to dare to shake the foundations of obedience, annul discipline, and destroy the work of God without hesitation !* These are not my words. The whole paragraph is faithfully translated from the epistle of Goswin Nickel, the General of the Society, to the Fathers and Brothers of the same Society, in the year 1656: about one hundred years after this Divine Society was established. All this is perfectly natural. It is human nature; and this is all I contend for. I affirm that these human motives weld the Jesuits together: the Divine motives being, as it were, the bellows in the hands of the'clever "Superiors," wherewith the pas- sive metal of the society is rendered malleable, porous, and ductile. In this fact is the element of decay. But human reason discovers its errors always too late ; and the deceitful heart cheers itself the while with the short- lived hopes, which, like wintry suns, have but a small arc to describe in the jealous firmament of day. Ever and anon the voice of a just man rises supe- * Episf. ii. Gosvr. Nick. CUI BONO? 121 rior to the clamours of the multitude, and cries, Be- ware! but the torrent rolls on — the abyss is dug by the falling waters ; and the fate of great names has a place in the map of history ! The modern Jesuits, like those of old, march on : who shall arrest their progress? They themselves — the Jesuits. They are working their own ruin ; and the more influence they gain in this country, the nearer they will approach destruction. Their history will always be the same, because the essentials of their institute are unchangeable. The veil of mystery, which dims the sight even of the subordinates of the Society, gives them the prime fulcrum of diplomatic craft. But it is too human to be an element of long life. The man who cannot, in every action, look in the face of day, and say to the witness, Is it not well ? — works not as the champion of Truth, but the menial of Error, and its tyrant — Self. But is there no understanding in the first instance as to the precise position that a man might expect to fill in the Society ? Expect ! why a tractarian might as well expect, in becoming a Roman Catholic, to become Pope ! No, no ; a Jesuit can expect no- thing, as far as his individual ambition is concerned.* He must consider himself perfectly worthless, till the voice of God — that is, of his Superior — shall call him forth from penance to power, from prayer to politics, from obscurity to renown. But from his birth in the Novitiate, to his death in the Society, all that he is permitted to think himself is, that he is only a too- * For the Tarious denunciations against ambition, vide Const. P, x. p. 9, c 1, A. P. viii. c. 6. 122 CUI BONO ? fortunate fellow-labourer in the Society of Jesus. Meanwhile, he must patiently gnaw like the beaver — ^lie must float down the felled trunk like the beaver — he must gather and carry mud like the beaver; and he must "lend a hand" to build up the dam and the habitation like the beaver ; but he must be content with his allotted nook : his " angulus terrse," in the absolute monarchy wherein his lot is cast. If not, he must put forth his ambitious claims, like the clever pope of old, in the celestial form and figure of consummate wisdom, unapproachable tact, discretion, and humility, such as to deceive Lucifer himself. Eugene Sue's "Rodin" is quite a misconception : his habitual filth alone is enough to ruin the cha- racter : a Jesuit must be clean — clean as a lancet, a dirk, a stiletto, or a tiger's fangs. Voluntary poverty, perpetual chastity, perfect obe- dience ; these are the three symbols of the professed piety of the Jesuit — these are the bulwarks of his lofty ambition. The pains taken by the trainer, and the determined efforts of the trained, point forward to a boundless reward — universal power immovably based on mind, on conscience — a power whereon the sun shall never set. During those hours of recreation in the Novitiate which we were permitted to spend in solitude, I would sometimes take the "Summary," skim through the thirty or forty rules it contained, and endeavour to understand my intended profession by seeking out its requirements in the perfect Novice. CUI BONO 1 123 As I frequently revolved the subject, and as all my thoughts during that probation, particularly towards its conclusion, wrere strong, serious, never to be forgotten, I have now only to summon them from the " dark backward, and abysm of time," and give them words, that they may bear witness. I shall be an impartial interpreter to myself, as it were, of those mystic thoughts — that wild infatuation, strong fana- ticism — and with the serious reader I shall strive to profit by the awful lesson. VOLUNTARY POVERTY. It was difficult for me to conceive how a man could take a vow to remain poor, or to become poor, and yet possess all that he could rationally desire of the world's comforts. We were decently clad — we would always be so in all likelihood : we were well fed ; there was no probability of being starved ; we were sheltered ; in every region of the globe the Society would hereafter possess its " three houses." What, then, was to be the meaning of the vow which we were to make to God, or rather to the Society? It is as follows : — We were taught to believe that we could possess without feeling that we possessed. We used, we did not take. We consumed — not we, but the Society in us — and the Society was to us as God ; for it said to us, " Consider the lilies of the field," &c. Self-abnegation was the specific which was to effectuate this frame of mind : this sublime 124 GUI BONO? " mental reservation.* On this topic I find among my papers, written at Hodder, the following conclu- sion : " I must divest myself of myself, so as not to desire health more than sickness, riches more thau poverty, honour more than ignominy, a long life more than a short one ; finally, in all things, singly desir- ing and choosing those things which rather conduce to the end for which I was created, viz., to glorify God in the Society of Jesus." Such is the Jesuit's interpretation (as expounded to the novice) of the Beatitude, " Blessed are the poor in spirit !" That transcendent philosophy, that divine Chris- tianity was held forth to us as perfectly attainable by prayer, practice, and the peculiar grace which we were taught to believe was vouchsafed to him who was called to the Society. No ordinary virtue was sufficient in a Jesuit : the name did not suggest a model without expecting a copy faithful to the divine original. Hence we became inenials for His sake ; hence we gloried in humiliation ; hence we exulted in spirit when thwarted in the dearest wish ; hence we would always, in every action however trivial, fervently breathe, " Father, not my will but thine be done !" and hence — the Society being the exponent of the will of the Eternal — we would be prepared for any fate whilst in its service : seeing that we must necessarily be indifferent in all things. * See Const. P. iii. u. 1, § 7. Exam. c. 4. P. vi. o. 2. But, in point of fact, there is no end of the praises, explanations, &c., of this TOW in the Institute. CUI BONO? 125 So much for" the enthusiasm, the fanaticism : of the thing. Let us now indulge a few mattei-of-fact, com- mon-sense reflections on this very curious topic. If I remember aright, there was in the lecture which explained the rule enjoining the self-abnega- tion necessary for this vow, an attempt to show how the Society could possess riches whilst each member thereof vowed poverty. I think the argument rested mainly on the necessity of possessing funds in order to carry out one grand object of the Society, viz., the education of youth. It is clear that no other excuse or explanation will hold ; since, by the distinct en- gagement of Ignatius, a Jesuit would expect no viaticum or pecuniary support in his " mission :" he was to go forth as an apostle; that is, provided with faith, hope, and charity, to which he was to superadd, " For the greater glory of God ;" without a thought for the body, which Heaven would take care how to support. It is then on educational grounds that the Jesuits excuse themselves from being poor in body as well as in spirit. But then why take the vow at all, if it becomes virtually a dead letter? What! not take the vow! this would never answer. And why not? Because, when a novice has money, it is clear that he will have to make it over to somebody before he takes the vow ; but surely he would make it over to the Society in preference to anybody, therefore the vow is retained.* Again, it is by no means clear that * Tbere is a delicate piece of dexterity in the injunction respecting the distribution of property. The distribution should be made to the 126 cm BONO? these men of piety must absolutely have funds in order to fulfil the engagements which the Society has undertaken. They should give their services accord- ing to the rule which enjoins every Jesuit " freely to give what he has freely received."* From the stipend which the pupils pay, it is clear that a large annual surplus must fall into the coffers of the Society. Who owns this money? Not the Jesuits, but the Society, they will tell you ; and will seem perfectly satisfied with the equivocation. It follows that the vow of "voluntary poverty" is only a by-way of enriching the body and accumulating funds, which may be applied to whatever purpose is thought expe- dient: labelled and ticketed "To the greater glory of God." When the Jesuits put themselves under some religious association or government, to depend entirely on that association or government for the means of subsistence and education, then they will be con- sistent in this vow; but then they will be shorn of half their power : and that time will never come. Aut Cesar aut nullus is the motto of those who feel that they were born to command. truly poor, and not on acconnt of relationship — propinquitatis — Exam. «. 4, 2 ; and if any one wishes to give his property to the Society, he must resign it freely into the hands of the General. Fart. iii. c. I, 9. * This rule is clamorous : — " Meminerint se gratis dare debere, quae gratis acceperunt ; nee postulando, nee admitteado stipendium, vel eleemosynas ullas, quibus Missas, vel Confessicnes, rel Frsedicationes, vel Lectiones, vel visitationes, vel quodvis alivd officiiim ex iis quae Societasjuxta nostrum Institutum exercere potest, compensari vide- atur."— Const. P. yi. c. 2, 7. CUl BONO? 127 PERPETUAL CHASTITY. We read that Aloysius " received of God so perfect a gift of chastity, that in his whole life he never felt the least temptation either in mind or body against purity, as Jerom Flatus and Cardinal Bellarmiit assure us from his own mouth." Again : — " He never looked at any woman, kept his eyes strictly guarded, and generally cast down ; would never stay with his mother alone in her chamber; and if she sent any message to him by some lady in her company he received it, and gave his answer in a few words, with his eyes shut, and his chamber-door only half open. * * * * It was owing to his virginal modesty that he did not know by their faces many ladies among his own re- lations, with whom he had freqently conversed, and that he was afraid and ashamed to let a servant see so much as his foot uncovered."* We read also that, after a visit from the Virgin Mary and Jesus Christ, Ignatius had all impure images wiped from his heart. Angels came down and " bound the loins" of Thomas Aquinas, and thenceforward he was " never annoyed with temptations of the flesh." The reader may consult the " Lives of the Saints" for more examples of such Divine inter- position. These examples were objects of our intense admi- ration. But who could aspire to such matchless purity? Only those who were "humble, watchful, * Butler — Lives of the Saints — Aloys. 128 CUI BONO? and obedient." Hence the humiliations to which we were constantly subject — the state of servitude and degradation, corporeal and mental, which our training was intended to effect. And is the habit of chastity thus to be acquired ? This question must be answered in the affirmative ; and that such is the case will be evident from this simple axiom, that any of the sentiments being predominant in the mind, obliterate, or tend to obliterate, the rest. , I am tempted to enlarge on this topic ; but the dis- cussion would be out of place, and enough has been said to direct the application of the principle. Doubt- less some encountered more difficulties than others; but the awful necessity which was upon all to ac- quire the mental habit, at least, of this virtue, en- hanced our fervour in embracing the infallible means held forth to us, by being to the best of our power humble and obedient. The peculiar views of my philosophy tallied well with many of the regulations of the Novitiate. The infinite variety of occupation I never could sufficiently admire; and in a very short time I felt convinced that the object and scope of all the training were to give to every faculty of the mind, every sentiment of the heart, that peculiar bent which emphatically stamps the Jesuit. In my private interviews with the Superior, I frequently expressed my thoughts on this subject with enthusiasm. He listened to me with delight; and he once said, " Brother ! the grace to understand these things is not given to all — be thankful for it." In the matter of chastity, particularly, I found in the books as- GUI BONO? 129 signed to me sufficient to convince me that "love divine" in all its objects — but most to the Virgin and other female saints of the calendar — was but human love, with all its raptures : only it was shorn of its grossness. How have I exulted — how entranc- ing were my thoughts and feelings — when reading the discourses of Bernard on the Canticles ! parti- cularly the one on the words, " Osculetur me osculo oris sui !" " Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth!" Oft have I repeated to my "Brothers" those words of its conclusion — " Show me, O most sweet ! O most serene ! show me where thou goest to pasture, where thou reposest at mid-day! My brothers, it is good for us to be here, but behold ! the malice of the day calls us away." I got passages by heart — I translated others — and my soul swam, as it were, in an ocean of delights. Easily, then, was the idea of carnal pleasure denied access to a mind which luxuriated, so to speak, in ethereal de- lights unknown before : for never have I experienced pleasures so intense, complete, absorbing, as that which frequently resulted from spiritual contempla- tion and meditation in the Novitiate. I had my trials, of course — my diseases, as it were ; and a curious dream which, as it was pronounced good by authority, I shall now relate for the amusement of the reader. I had been troubled during the day with certain thoughts and remembrances which we will call "temptations." I had told my distress thereat to the Superior: he consoled me; said it was natural; I must not be disheartened. I fell asleep 130 GUI BONO? and dreamt. How keen is the mental vision when the mind, by its strong nervous excitement, seems to be totally independent of the body, which it com- mands and holds in subjection ! I dreamt that I saw in the heavens a beautiful woman, clad in azure, star-bespangled. She looked down upon me benignly, and with her finger pointed to her brow, which was encircled with a luminous band. On that band I read, in my dream, the word Atheeia ; and in my dream, I interpreted the word to myself thus:— "Atreria — a nonTpica trepido — Intrepidity;" and I seemed to hear a voice, which said — -"Yes ! by intre- pidity you shall conquer." I need ^ot say that I awoke in consolation. I told my dream — it was ap- proved — I was happy !* It was this exaltation of sentiment, thus turned into the "proper channel," that enabled me to fall in with the extravagant devotion of the Jesuits to the Virgin Mary; and whilst I prayed to the male saints of the calendar with warmth, I poured forth my soul's languishings to the Agathas, Theresas, Perpetuas, with rapturous devotion. I " look advice" on this matter, and it only called forth this remark, viz., " that St. Theresa always preferred the advice of holy men to that of holy women." This was meant to keep in check the natural tendency of my heart; but the remark brought to mind the strange sentiment of Balzac, viz., " That the most malicious man cannot say of women as much evil as * WLat rendered tbe dream more striking was, that I had never seen nor heard the word Atreria, nor hare I met with it since. CUI BONO ? 131 they thinli: of themselves." I repeated the words to the father, and he said they were quite true ! Still it is curious how the human mind strives to re- concile apparently contradictory feelings. It is a significant psychological fact that men prefer female saints for their patronesses, and that women prefer male saints for their patrons. In this explanation which I have given, it was absolutely necessary to bring myself forward : and only myself; but I may be permitted to give a curious instance of the strong emotion that still, amongst "holy men," goes by the name of "love divine." The verses were repeated to me by a brother novice, and were composed by " St. Fkancis of Assysium." The burning translation of Alban Butler, himself a very exemplary priest, is quite equal to the original : — " Into love's furnace I am cast ! I burn, I languish, pine, and waste ! love divine, how sharp thy dart ! How deep the wound that galls lay heart ! As wax in fire, so from above My smitten soul dissolves in love ! 1 live, yet languishing I die. Whilst in thy furnace bound I lie. * * » * The tiee of love its roots has spread Deep in my heart, and rears its head. Rich are its fruits, they joy dispense. Transport the heart and ravish sense. * * * * While throbbing pangs I feel, my breast Finds love its centre, joy and rest. K 2 132 CUI BONO ? Lore's slave, in chains of strong desire I'm bound, nor dread edged steel or fire. * * • • The hills shall melt, hack rivers roll, Heavens fall, ere love forsake mj soul ! All creatures love aloud proclaim — Heavens, earth, and sea increase my flame— Whate'er I see, as mirror bright, Reflects my lover to my sight." I found the whole ode a splendid piece of senti- mentality, and asked the brother to give it me ; he said he would, if permitted. Permission from the Superior was obtained — he gave me the verses, and I did not read them over many times before they became part and parcel of my heart. Such direct helps as these, particularly among the philosophical Jesuits, render the habit of chastity comparatively easy. The physiologist will under- stand me when I say that the chastity referred to is a mental habit. PERFECT OBEDIENCE. We heard comparatively little about the vows of poverty and chastity ; but every moment of the day we were reminded of that of obedience. If chastity was the crown, and poverty the robe, obedience was the head and the body to wear them : it was to be the virtue of the Jesuit. No boundaries, no limits, were set to this virtue — it was infinite space for ever enlarging ! It was to extend over body and soul, as if we had " sold them to the devil !" One single example, which was held forth to us for a " sign," \ CUI BONO? 133 will enable the thoughtful reader to apply the prin- ciple in all its bearings. It was to show the nature of blind* obedience and its reward. A certain holy man was ordered by his Superior to water a dry stick set upright in the ground. He obeyed without a question, or a thought of a question — and behold! the stick put forth branches and grew a beautiful tree! .... True, we read that " for no reason in the world, for the pleasure of no man, was any evil to be done ;" but were we to judge what was evil ? Did the holy man referred to judge what seemed to be absurd, use- less ? The will of the Superior is " as it were the will of God ;" and were we to question His morality ? If "there was a way which seemeth good unto man, but leadeth unto death," there might also be a way which seemeth evil unto a man but which leadeth unto life ! . . . . Now, then, for the cardinal points : the north, south, east, and west of this mighty argument ! Consider the' fact of twenty thousand men thus obedient to the will of one man — the General of the Society ! From the highest official next in suc- cession — the provincials in their respective countries in every region of the world, the masters of colleges, the professed, the simple socii, the lay-brothers, — down to the aspirant Novice : all ready, eager to obey the will of this one man, without a question or a thought of a question — as if he were God himself! Consider the possibility of this man being bought over * Const. Part ri. c. 1, § 1. 134 GUI BONO? or bribed, or from himself possessed of some " Napo- leonic idea," to bring all his forces to act on any- given point : all his forces of intellect, eloquence, secret influence of the confessional; in a word all the arts, human and divine, at his command ! I ask, who shall resist this man? It is not a question whether such has been or will be the case, but whether such might not be the case ? To say that there would be some honest, worthy men among them, who might question the morality of the mandate, is quite beside the question ; the majority must always yield a blind obedience, for this is essential to the very existence of the Society. The love for the Society has been shown to exist to an unlimited extent : all desire its advancement and prosperity. Each member, there- fore, is satisfied that every mandate of the General will tend to those grand objects of desire; and, con- sequently, as his temporal welfare depends on the temporal welfare of the Society, his own individual interest is involved in blind obedience ; for it is not to be supposed that the inculcation of a splendid " indifference to all things," has anything to do with the prosperous condition of the Society: to that, indeed, the Jesuit must not be indifferent. 135 CHAPTER IX. ECONOMICS OF THE NOVITIATE THE MASTEE, MINISTER, MONITORS. The day's occupation' has doubtless given the reader an idea of the training pursued in the Novitiate. In that article I have alluded to many matters on which I have now to enlarge. It was a common axiom with us, that he who went through his novitiate with perfect satisfaction to his superiors, would give the best proof of a true vocation to the Society. It is in the Novitiate that the Jesuit learns the fundamental principles of his art : in after life, he has but to apply or enlarge on those principles — all, of course, in accordance with the direction of holy obedience ; for I need not say- that a carte blanche in the portfolio of a Jesuit sent out on his " mission," is quite out of the question. He can do nothing without the " permission of his superiors."* Every ordinary duty, then, which he has after- * Debet iis a Superiore dari instructio in scriptis — non tautum de negotiis, sed etiam de personU. C. P. vii. c. 2 ; ibid. N. 136 ECONOMICS OF wards to perform, has its representative in the Novi- tiate. This will appear in the sequel. The Novice studies to learn these duties ; meanwhile the Supe- rior studies the Novice: hence the terms novitiate and probation are synonymous. To speak anatomi- cally, his mentality is dissected from his cranium down to the metatarsal bones ; the keen scalpel laying open every viscus, every organ ; and the j udgment thereon being deliberately weighed and recorded, as if only a de^d body was on the table. But I forget — Ignatius, on his deathbed, enjoined every Jesuit to be in the hands of his Superior, perinde ac cadaver, mst like a carcass. The character, attainments, qualifications of every Jesuit are thoroughly known to his Superior;* and not only to his Superior, but to the General himself, though constantly resident in Rome. This must not be understood to mean a mere general idea of these attainments, qualifications, and character ; but a real, certain knowledge, resulting from repeated tests on a thousand different occasions. A statement of the age, attainments, character, country, and, I think, " form and figure," of every member, even in the Novitiate, is annually, immediately after the " manifestation of conscience," sent to the General at Rome, by the various provincials from every part of the world where the Society is, as in England, estabhshed. Besides, in these annual reports, the state of reli- gion, prospects of the Society, &c. &c., in the respec- * Oportet eos esse DOtissimos Supeiiori. Ex. c. 4 — 35. THE NOVITIATE. 137 tive countries, are given with the same precision.* Letters, also, in Latin, occasionally pass between the Novices of one country and those of another. This correspondence, of course, is only intended to unite the confraternity more closely together ; and as such it is " part of the system." We wrote a letter to the Ro- man Novices whilst I was at Hodder; and having had much to do with the Latin construction (the matter was furnished by the Novices of the second year), I can answer for some of the hopes therein fer- vently breathed, as bearing the fruit of fulfilment in these days of Tractarian conversion. If our Joshuas only could go forth to smite Amalek, we could stand on the top of the hill, and hold up our hands in prayer for victory against the " he- retics," whose land we piously coveted : for it was a "good land, that beyond Jordan, that goodly moun- tain, and Lebanon !" For this consummation we prayed daily — for this all Roman Catholics pray daily : and they will continue to pray till they enter the promised Canaan, and " mass be sung in West- minster Abbey !" "Novices are sometimes interchanged : thus an En- glishman might be sent to the Roman Novitiate. Some of the Jesuits at Stonyhurst passed their novitiate at Rome. The utility of this is obvious. Foreign lan- guages are acquired without loss of time : not that the languages are grammatically studied in such cir- cumstances ; but most assuredly a facility of expres- sion is therein acquired; and we may rest assured • Vide Inetr. xviii. pro Consvlt. 138 ECONOMICS OF that the person thus selected to go abroad is per- fectly qualified to make the most of his opportunity. No men "seize Time by the forelock" with such a prompt and resolute grip as the Jesuits. From all that I have said it is clear that the selec- tion of a Jesuit to work in any given " vineyard" — whether by the Provincial or by the mighty General'— is, on most occasions, an easy matter. It may be thought that this general training, to which all are subjected alike, would necessarily pro- duce a similarity in the characters of all. It pro- duces a similarity, but no more : and yet — Facies non omnibus una, — Nee dirersa tamen — qualeiu decet esse sororum. The training is intended eminently to effect a habit of perfect obedience; for, strange to say, perfection in this " virtue" is considered a preservative against every crime which would disqualify a Jesuit. The following is the rule in all its fervour. After having alluded to the vow of Chastity, whose model is to be the purity of the angels, Ignatius proceeds to speak of Obedience, " which all are most* to observe, and study to excel in — not only in things of obli- gation, but even in others — although nothing but the sign of the Superior's will should appear without an express command. They should have before their eyes God the Creator, and our Lord for whose sake obedience is yielded unto man : and, that this may follow in the spirit of love and not with the pertur- bation of fear, care must be taken, so that we may * Flurimum. THE NOVITIATE. 139 all strive with a stedfast mind not to set aside aught of perfection which we may be able to attain with Divine grace, in the absolute observance of all the Constitutions, and in corresponding to the pecu- liar design of our Institute : — and we should strenu- ously strain every nerve in our power in manifesting this virtue of obedience, in the first place to the Pope, and secondly to the Superiors of the Society. So that in all things to which obedience can extend with charity, we should be eagerly ready* at its voice, just as if it came forth from Christ the Lord, since we yield obedience to one who holds His place, and for the sake of His love and reverence — in any- thing whatever, and indeed, even a letter [of the alphabet] begun, being left unfinishedf [at the word of command]. " Directing to that end all our powers in the Lord, that holy obedience be always perfect in all its attri- butes, in the execution, in the will, in the intellect — with great agility, spiritual joy, and perseverance, performing whatever we have been enjoined to do — persuading ourselves that all things are just — re- jecting every opinion and judgment of ours which may be contrary, with a certain blind obedience; and this indeed in all things which are ruled by the Superior — wherein (as has been said) no kind of sin can be defined to enter. And each one should per- suade himself that those who live under obedience, ought to allow themselves to be borne and ruled by * Quam promptissimi. t Litera a nobis inchoata nee dum perfecta relicta. 140 ECONOMICS OF Divine Providence through the Superior, just as if they were a carcass which may be borne in any direc- tion, and permits itself to be handled in any manner — or like an old man's staiF which everywhere serves him, and for whatever purpose he who holds it in his hand, wishes to use it. For thus the obedient man ought to perform with alacrity of soul anything what- ever to which his Superior may wish him to apply himself, for the aid of the whole body of the Order* — being convinced as of a certainty that he will con- form to the Divine will by that means, rather than by any other whatever that he could apply, by following his own will and judgment."-}- The novice who strives to attain this perfection of obedience should have Divine superiors. Has the reader ever imagined it possible for man to expect, or have yielded to him such prostrate submission as this rule exemplifies ? Does the reader think that it can possibly exist ? He will say no ! if he has not pene- trated into the depths of his own mind — if he has not been accustomed to imagine the various circum- stances, in which as a human being, he might be tried, tempted, proved as by fire — and if, uninstructed by this species of experience open to all, he is yet to be convinced that the human mind can be brought to beheve anything when its predominant sentiments are trained to bribe the rebellious will to subjection. No man can be more intensely convinced than I am of the resistless force of Divine religion — * Religionis. t A rule of the Summary. Const, F. vi. cap. I. 1. THE NOVITIATE. 141 God-inspired in the humble soul: an impulse that may have all the energetic fervour of enthusiasm, combined with religious sobriety, such as charity in her sweetest mood, breathed into the heart which truly said — " Not I, but Christ in me !" But for this Divine religion I look in vain in the Jesuits. I found its sentiments inculcated by the spirit which presided over my meditations — I looked above me for a model ; but found it not. As the prophets of old, they were trained in a school ; but they became not pro- phets — and yet they would go forth as such ! It was a painful thing, this : to seek what one wished to find, and yet to seek in vain. Perhaps the impression was unfounded — doubtless the friends of the Jesuits will think it so. The former I should be happy to believe, the latter I cannot allow to have any weight in the balance of facts — of conduct, that my eyes beheld and have perused. How humanly all things progressed in the path quasi Divine, will be evident in my narrative: still more in the history which is to give completeness to this exposition of the Jesuit mind. Let it be distinctly understood that, philosophi- cally, I give the Jesuits unbounded credit for the tact and cleverness of their system. This view of the matter will not recommend it to the sincere fol- lower of Christ ; but it may tend to place a momen- tous topic on its right footing, and give a key to the secret of the rise, decline, and fall of the Jesuits. To such a Society, union is absolutely necessary — union of thought as well as of action. The will of the 142 ECONOMICS OF Superior should settle every doubt: answer every question, without appeal. Obedience, then, is the bond of union.* Among the many motives held forth for this union of thought and action, or execution, I find the fol- lowing, in the Declarations superadded by way of running commentary to the Constitutions, viz. — " There are also other reasons, namely, because there will be for the most part literary men amongst us, and who will have not a little influence by favour with princes and men of high rank, and the people."t We will now inquire into the method of effectuat- ing this obedience. Obedience — in its ascetic acceptation — is not pecu- liar to the Jesuits : all monks were, or should have been ; are, or should be, obedient. Obedience in the Jesuit acceptation is certainly peculiar to the Jesuits ; and it is rendered so by the peculiar functions which the Jesuits have to perform. This distinction should be borne in mind by those who ask if the Benedic- tines, the Dominicans, the Franciscans, Sec, do not vow obedience? Bearing this distinction in mind, they may quote whole treatises of Bernard, Basil, &c., without touching the main question. Ignatius himself shall tell us what sort of obedience he means. On the occasion of certain " misguided " mortifica- * Unio magn^ ex parte per Obedientis Tinculum conficitur. Const. P. viii. c. 1. t Sant et alis rationes, qualis est, quod ut plurimum literati erunt, et gratis apud principes et primarios viros, ac populos, non parum Talebunt. Const, P. viii, c. I. THE NOVITIATE. 143 tions and austerities, Ignatius addressed his cele- brated Epistle, " On the Virtue of Obedience," to his devoted followers. He begins with stating that obedience is the only virtue which produces and cherishes the other virtues ; that, properly speaking, it is the virtue of the Society, and the character which distinguishes its children; that thus other religious orders might surpass them in fastings, in watchings, and in many other austere practices, which each of them observes piously, according to the spirit of their vocation ; but as to what concerns obedience, they ought not to yield the palm to them ; and that their vocation obliges them to render them- selves perfect in that virtue. He then establishes, on reasons deduced from the Scriptures and the Fathers, three degrees of obe- dience. The first and the lowest consists in doing what is commanded. The second is, not only to execute the orders of the Superior, but to conform our will to his. The third, to consider what is com- manded as the most reasonable and the best, for this only reason — that the Superior considers it as such. In order to attain this degree so elevated — which is called the obedience of the understanding — he says that we ought not to care whether he who commands is wise or imprudent, holy or imperfect ; but consider in him only the person of Jesus Christ : who has placed His authority into his hands, in order to guide us ; and who, being wisdom itself, will not permit His minister to be mistaken.* * Bouhours, La vie de St. Ignace, \iv. t. 144 ECONOMICS OF On his deathbed Ignatius exclaimed : — " Write ! I desire that the Society should know, my last thoughts on the virtue of obedience." I shall only quote one, as most of them have been given already. The following is significant : — " VI. If the Superior judges that what he com- mands me to do is good, and I believe that I cannot obey without offending God — unless that be evident to me — I must obey. If, however, I find a difficulty by some scruple or other, I will consult two or three persons of good sense, and I will abide by their opinion. But if I do not yield after that, I am very far from the perfection which the excellence of a reli- gious state demands."* This last bequest speaks out clearly enough : it needs no "declaration," no commentary. But a ques- tion arises — was there, then, a necessity to foresee the circumstances in which a Jesuit might scruple as in temptation ? — might fear to offend God by pleasing man ? — might object to sin " by virtue of Holy Obedience 1" Jn the seventh congregation of the Society it was decreed, that whoever said to the minister commanding "I will not do it," falls into a " reserved case"t — that is, a crime the absolution from which is exclusively vested in a higher functionary of the Society. I proceed to develope the philosophy of this inte- resting topic. • Bouhours, La Vie de St. Tguace. liv. v. t Conor. 7. D. 45. Ministro qui dicit, 'Nolo facere, ia casum incidit reservatum. Index Gen, Inst. S. I, THE NOTITIATE. 145 How are the novices conquered? — how are they made to conquer themselves ?— How are the Jesuits conquered ? — how do they conquer themselves ? — so as to execute, with hand and heart, blind in will, obscure in intellect, any'and every command " with no less eagerness than a child in the extremity of hunger obeys the voice of the nurse that calls it for food."* If all physicians and surgeons would study physi- ology with the perseverance that its necessity in the correct diagnosis and proper treatment of disease seems to demand, doubtless the art of medicine would become something like a system — one system instead of a thousand. Jesuit casuistry and spiritual nosology are based on a most respectable knowledge of mental physiology. In reading some of their casuists, one is astounded by the extraordinary minuteness of criminal distinctions, which smell of phosphorus, in every page. Tliey have made a terrible use of the confessional. On the other hand, their "spiritual books" give evidence of deep thought. Take the following in the matter of disobedience : I quote it in proof of what I have said with regard to the senti- ments in the motives to obedience. " If any command is abhorrent to self-esteem or self-respect, the difficulty of obedience results from pride ; we must here apply the examination of con- science, meditations; and remedies are to be adminis- tered by considering what an empty thing is pride, particularly in a religious man, who professes a con- tempt for himself, and declares himself to be crucified * S. Basil, cit. ab Aqua v. in Instr. pro Super, de Obed. L 146 ECONOMICS OF to the world. If any work is imposed, or any office to Which we feel a repugnance, the difficulty flows from an unmortified nature ; but if, on the contrary, we have to leave an office to which we are rather inclined, the difficulty emanates from the very same inordinate affection for that office, or a person with whom it brings us in contact. If the difficulty of the work frightens us, fortitude is deficient ; and in like manner in similar cases. Let us humble ourselves then, and striving to attain the aims before us, we may gain a glorious victory over self."* The same renowned General of the Society thus explains the conquering discipline of his troops : — "It will be advantageous if the Superior should sometimes command the subject to hold himself in readiness to do something as yet uncertain, in two or three days, which, perhaps, will be against his will and mind, but still he should resolve in his mind that he will never positively consent to the contrary."'f Only divine motives are ever to be held forth, and yet, " Let the Superior frequently enjoin him to do trivial things in which he, knows that the subject finds no difficulty, so that he may thus accustom him to do something towards the command of something else ; when he has done it let the Superior praise him, encourage him, 8tc."J Again, "Sometimes let the Superior select some- thing certain, in which the subject finds great diffi- * Aquav. De Spir. cap. 4, 7. ■j" Id. Ad curand. anim. morb. o. 5 . t Id. De Perfect. Obed. <;. 5. THE NOVITIATE. 147 culty, and let him tell him to prepare himself to do it in the course of two or three days, as if he is to do it by common consent. When he has done it, if with alacrity, let him be cheered and encouraged, showing him that it will come to pass by that example that all things will become more easy. If he has done it with difficulty, let his patience be praised, promise him victory, telling him that he may easily conquer and by degrees may become stronger by this exercise. " Let the Superior sometimes condescend so far as to pass over that order to comply with which he feels a great repugnance ; but in so fatherly a manner that the subject may understand that it was a. pious dis- pensation and sweet condescension, only in order that he may profit by it and gain vigour, and after having become stronger, be able to bear with alacrity what is now above his strength. Meanwhile, although the Superior may do this on his part, let the subject, however, know that he has diminished his merit and strength, which he would have increased if he had conquered himself with magnanimity."* To give examples of Jesuit obedience would be to narrate the history of the society. It is the human will — considered as a cause and not an effect by the majority of moralists — that the Jesuits seem most anxious to direct ; esteeming all other mental phenomena as purely indifferent : that is neither good nor bad in themselves, but only so in proportion as they are directed by a will quasi perverse, or quasi right, according to their notions. * Id. ut antea, L 2 148 ECONOMICS OF In effect the Jesuits are more philosophical than other ascetics. They do not strive to change nature, but only to direct it from one object of appetence to another. Thus they endeavour to sanctify (so to speak) ambition into what they call apostolic fervour : thus Ignatius, from a warrior, aspired to be a saint. I remember reading in the Novitiate — I think in a Latin life of Xaviee — some very striking remarks on this subject, the conclusions whereof may be enun- ciated as follows : viz., that the characters of men were all wisely ordained for some purpose — that they were not to be radically altered — indeed, that was impossible — but only directed into a proper channel, so as to sail prosperously down the stream of Grace, which leads each to the same ends by different means. There is something worthy of consideration in that exposition of Jesuit-ethics ; and though liable to extravagant abuse, it is perhaps a good principle whereon to build a rational and religious system of education. Thus, whatever is altered in a man's mentality by the Jesuits, his ruling passion is not virtually changed : it is held in check — it is trained — it is purified — sublimated according to their notions — but it is still there — coiled up as an everlasting mainspring which is wound up at stated times by Holy Obedience, and keeps the whole system in accurate movement : whether laid by, like the chronometer after a voyage, in one GAMES. me as if any clergyman should say (in jest, of course, which makes the matter worse), " Do as I say, not as I do." But cool cleverness is essential to a Jesuit — a pa- tient cleverness united to a soul possessed in patience — whose joy at success is subdued, and whose annoy- ance at failure has no voice. Means were given to us in the Novitiate to acquire this frame of mind. We played at backgammon, chess, and draughts. I know not whether dice, and so absorbing a game as chess, are conducive to " holy living ;" but I do know that the former, at least, are positively forbid- den to the priest by the Council of Trent; and I also know that we found them very useful in curbing the temper, and in giving us numerous opportunities to afiSict, mortify, contund, the spirit — the rebellious spirit. Our times of play were the recreation-days. Al- though these days came round every week pretty regularly, still they were occasionally stopped ; and they were always announced by the porter in the usual way, thereby giving us to understand that they did not come as a matter, of/course. We also played at football, and here slight ebulli- tions of temper were sometimes seen ; but the re- pentant brother, on his knees in the Refectory, was sure to make ample amends for his misdemeanour. I have felt the pleasure of apologising for an un- premeditated word of anger, and I have experienced 4;he pain of receiving such an apology, mingled though it was with pleasure j but I had neither pleasure nor A WALK. 169 pain when I beheld a brother kneehng, and heard him confess a trivial contradiction, and felt the kiss of his lips on my feet : only then reminded (not that / had been offended), but that he had committed a fault against brotherly love ! I had neither pleasure nor pain on such occasions: I was simply humbled — lowered still more in my own estimation — more re- signed — more contrite. Truly there is something of Heaven in this gene- rous humility of the heart, expiating all its guilt in a , noble acknowledgment, by loving kindness prompted, and with Christian simplicity expressed ! Recreation superseded manual works and the lec- ture, so that it lasted about three hours ; sometimes in the forenoon, sometimes in the af|;ernoon, when we now and then went out for a walk in the vicinity. The porter announced the order to that effect. We made ready as expeditiously as possible, by doff- ing our cassocks and donning our coats, — and great coats in winter, — putting on thick shoes, and taking our sticks and hats : thus equipped, we walked de- murely to the recreation-room, said the usual " Ave Maria" kneeling, and then went and stood in a line opposite the door which opened into the garden — for I must repeat that we never went through ihe front door of the Novitiate except twice : once on entering for the first time, and then on departing from the gates of probation. Standing in a line, then, presently the porter appeared, and stood on the steps of the door, with a paper in his hand. This was a list of the different companies into which we were divided ; 170 THE lilTANT. generally a second-year novice was in eadi company ; the novice first named had the company in charge. When each company vras named it filed off, the leader rehearsing the Litany of the Virgin Maht in Latin, and his companions answering the " Ora pro nobis" in sonorous cadence. As this Litany has been men- tioned before, I may state, for the information of the reader, that it consists chiefly of eighteen laudatory epithets of the Virgin, as the mother " of the Creator," " of the Saviour," and " of Divine Grace." Next follow thirteen incongruous and middle-age metaphors or tropes, expressive of certain mystic qualities which Romanticism has ascribed to the " Queen of Heaven." She is then stated to be the " health of the sick," the " refuge of sinners," the " consolatrix of the afflicted," the " aid of Christians ;" and the Litany winds up with invoking Mary as the queen of angels, patriarchs, prophets, apostles, martyrs, confessors, virgins, and of all the saints. It is repeated rapidly, and the sound reminds one of that husky guttural note with which the palanquin- bearers of ihe East supply the place of a pedometer, and kill monotony : to their own satisfaction, at least, if not to that of the traveller. The list was in Latin, the Litany was in Latin, and we talked Latin for the first hours of recreation, on all occasions. To those whose tongues are habitually tied, I doubt not that Hebrew or Chinese would soon be sufficiently mastered as a vehicle of thought when the ordinary locomotive of the mind is forbidden "to run." Few of us found much difficulty in conversing A DISCUSSION. 171 fluently, particularly as our topics were invariably spiritual or Jesuitico-historical, and of course most, if not all, our reading in the Novitiate was " in Latin> Generally the Father Minister was in one of the com- panies, and he was often in mine. There were three or four" in each company — very seldom only two. The object of this is evident — the conversation of two is much more likely to become irregular than that of three. I was once reminded of the wisdom of this regula- tion. It happened that two of us — another novice and myself — were permitted to go out without the usual third. From one thing to another, our conver- sation — according to the usual phases of that social Proteus — turned on the noble sacrifices that have beeti made for the sake of religion ; and I charitably alluded to one of our brothers, who, being the son of a nobleman, was content with exchanging that high honour for the obscurity of the Novitiate. My com- panion, to my great surprise, treated the idea very lightly, informing me that the novice alluded to was only a younger son of a nobleman not very rich. But not stopping here, he very lucidly explained how he had made a much greater sacrifice by leaving considerable property in the world. " After all," said I, " perhaps it does not matter much what we have left in the world, provided we have left our sdf-will there also." Thus I managed to give the conversation another turn ; for it was evidently not very edifying on that tack. I did not report the error, though doubtless 172 REMARKS. I ought to have done so. Let me now make amends for my irregularity by a few remarks flowing directly from the subject. ' People are apt to lay too much stress on what "converts" resign 4^or the sake of religion. For my part I value their mental much more than their bodily sacrifice. Philosophers of old — pagan philo- sophers — have shown their contempt for riches in many a beautiful anecdote. I am aware that their motives have been unkindly called in question by the moderns ; but if we undertake to find out the motives of men without decided proofs of their tendency, we may o£Pend as much against true morality as against logic. Again, how many men have thrown up most lucrative employment, with the certainty of vast pecuniary inconvenience before them, when merely their self-love has been wounded by an insulting word of their employer ? The love of literature, of music, the love of women, of the bottle, has seduced thousands into desperate resolutions, fraught with worldly ruin. I do not suggest these hints by way of depreciat- ing the "great sacrifices" in question, but simply to show that they are at most but negative criteria, if there be such things in the chaos of mind. The poor labourer, who despite the bitterness of the hour — pinching poverty — with many a little one beside him to feed, and but little to feed their craving mouths withal — un pitied by the rich man whose mansion is inconvenienced by the sight of REMARKS. 173 his humble cottage hard by — such an outcast of men — so desperately tried in the fire of temptation — if he can feel his honest heart beat with devotion, can look up to Heaven — can think sweetly of his merciful good God, saying, "Thy will be done !" Then is there a sacrifice indeed : a whole burnt-ofiering^ whose odour ascends undeviating, unscattered, un- spent, to the judgment-seat of God ! Still, perhaps, taking a worldly view of the ques- tion, the novice just alluded to, and those who are interested in "conversions" may be very right in estimating them according to pounds, shillings, and pence; as the computation is thereby rendered ex- tremely easy to all. Guided by a sort of traditionary map, we always managed to avoid other companies, though we frequently contrived to reach the outer gate about the same time, so great was the punctuality of our leader. We were not allowed to speak with another com- pany if we ever fell in with one — nor with any one else we might meet : we merely raised our hands to our hats in salutation, and silently passed on. We were not even allowed to speak to the scholastic! of the seminary on such occasions. All seemed happy as we set out, particularly dur- ing the summer months ; and very often, as soon as the Litany was concluded, one of the company would burst into a fit of laughter ! — a sort of pent-up torrent- like fuU-heartedness that could not be resisted any longer. This must not remind the reader of what 174 A SHOCK. Cicero says of the ancient augurs of Rome when they got together :* at least I should be very sorry to hear the remark paralleled to the incident just described. We went as much as possible by unfrequented paths : by the river's bank and its beautiful vale ; or through the meditative woods, where the love- notes of the summer-birds oft recalled, to my affliction, that true and real inspiration of heaven — music and song : which, in our solitude, I rarely heard, except in dreams of the night. When we were permitted to go to the church at the college, to be present at high mass on the great festivals, the sound of the organ was ravishing, ecstatic. To the sensual, music may be sweet, but to the spiritual, it is divine : a child of the imagination, it is maimed and crippled by grossness. In our walks we were careful to preserve " custody of eyes," and we rarely saw the faces of those whom we met. I shall never forget the pang that shot through my frame, when once, on passing a stile, I inadvertently raised my eyes and beheld — a hand- some woman ! It required some days for me to recover from this shock; and I must say that the Superior perfectly convinced me, at last, that "'twas quite natural," Mark, here, a curious fact. In my contemplations my soul was frequently in company with the beauties of the saints — to the present time I am sometimes reminded oi familiar faces, but I was happy in those * Namely, that they could not look each other in the face without smiling at the deceit they practised. MISSIONARY DUTIES. 175 visions. Was it the idea alone that there was no danger in the latter case, and some in the former, that thus changed bliss into misery ? It was during recreation that we were often sent on our missionary duties — particularly on Sundays. Once for all, I will now state, that considerable relaxations are made in the Novitiate in England, Novices in the Roman Novitiate have, I was told, a much harder time of it. I remember one parti- cular instance of its severity was, the custom for one of the novices to eat his dinner at the gate with the lowest beggars of Rome; who were fed there, apparently in order to give the novices one trial more. By the Constitutions the novice is re- quired to go on a pilgrimage, to attend for the space of a month in some hospital, and to teach the Christian doctrine to the children of the poor. We had only the last duty to perform at Hodder. Here- after, when " mass is sung in Westminster Abbey," doubtless our English novices will go on a pilgrimage, and attend at some hospital, in their picturesque cas- socks, walking demurely, keeping custody of eyes, and working miracles by edification. The Jesuits have established a school for the poor near the college ; and the novices instruct the children in the Romish faith. Besides this general collec- tion, we went to various poor families, and catechised the little ones who were assembled for the purpose. To judge from the crowds I saw at mass on the first Sunday I spent at the college, the Roman Catholics in the vicinity are very numerous ; and, doubtless. 176 MISSIONAEY DUTIES. are annually increased in numbers, if not in fervour : for the Catholic or Universal Church delights in numbers, mere numerical force being an essential " mark of the true church." It is indeed remarkable, that the Roman church, like the Roman republic and empire of old, should be satisfied with nothing short of universal power! And it is also a curious fact, that as the tough Germans of old gave the first mighty blo\* to the latter, so has a tough German of modern times given another such blow to the former : a blow from the effects of which she will never recover ; any more than her predecessor in tyranny, inj ustice, and craft. If tyranny, injustice, and craft, be crimes against the mere body of man, that called for a mighty and lasting retribution, why should the retribution for similar crimes against his soul be lessoned in extent, or shortened in duration ? ... It cannot be ! The men of Rome exult in this " reaction," as they call it, which is making " St. Mary's, at Oscott," a true "refugium peccatorum," a refuge of sinners. But, perhaps, from among the very men whose captive chains clank in their triumphal thanksgiving, there will be shot the " lethalis arundo," the deadly arrow that will pierce and cling to the side of their " Mother Church" in the appointed time. It is not children that they are receiving, but full-grown men, who have been accustomed most pertinaciously " to think for themselves." They began with being reformers : and it must be confessed with some of the boldness of reformers. Will they be content to " change their MISSIONARY DUTIES. 177 skins:" to become sheep, from having been, as it were, wolves : to smother the cunning and the clever thought, which seems so flattering to one's own vanity, in the cold, dead ashes of papal infallibility? We shall see! On our return from our walk and missionary duties, we begun the Litany again, just as we entered the outer gate ; and as we walked slowly on departing from and returning to the Novitiate, we generally finished before we reached the steps aforesaid. We went to the recreation-room, said the " Ave Maria," deposited our sticks, 8cc., put on our cassocks, and, if not otherwise ordered, we might remain in our cells, or walk in the garden ; but we generally assembled altogether, on the same days, in the recreation-room, or in the garden, for conversation: the porter an- nounced the termination of the hour prescribed for Latin conversation. For our missionary duties we were directly and indirectly prepared ; indirectly, by all our reading ; and directly, by the short sermons which every novice in his turn had to compose and deliver; and by a course of Christian doctrine which was read in class. The book was in French, and each novice, when his turn came round, standing at the end of the Recrea- tion-room, translated it into English, as if he were reading an English book. Time was given to prepare for the lecture ; and some of the novices, I remember, gave the viva voce translation with considerable neat- ness and elegance. The Superior was always present, and he sometimes put questions to the novices on the N 178 MISSIONAEY DUTIES. topic discussed in the book, which was written by a Jesuit. The morality of the catechism which we read at Hodder was, as far as I remember, that of Roman Catholics in general ; nor do I think there was any- thing read to us from it contrary to the notions of Christians in general on questions of simple morality, I must state that the passages read were appointed by the Superior ; and we never had the book on any other occasions but those when we had to read over the passages preparatory to translation. The time given was barely sufficient for the woi'k, much less to lead more ; even if we would do violence to conscience by reading without permission, which, of course, was contrary to rule. ■Our sermons were short discourses — delivered viva -voce, in like manner — on the virtues and vices, from texts of Scripture selected by the Superior. A short, clever model of the discourse was given to us, to be committed to memory and imitated as closely as possible ; and we had to rehearse the model before delivering our imitation. We had also to compose and deliver longer sermons after the great retreat — a list of the subjects with the preacher's name being deposited for inspection on a table in the dormitory. On this table, I may men- tion, by the way, were a few books ; to read which, general permission was given. These books were small pious tracts, the only one of them worth men- tioning being a life of Segneri, a renowned preacher of the Society. MISSIONARY DUTIES. 179 There was a library in the dormitory containing two or three hundred volumes of miscellaneous spi- rituality, which, however, we were not permitted to read without express leave from the Superior; but, as we had to dust these books occasionally, I remember having seen among them a copy of the Bible and the sermons of Bourdaloue. We delivered our sermons without gesture, keeping custody of eyes, after the manner of the last-named celebrated orator.* A sermon, or the catechism, or a translation from Cyprian, alternated in the afternoons, twice or thrice a week. The sermon was generally criticised by the Superior, or the minister when he was appointed ; and sometimes keenly — I suppose " to try the spirit." From what I have said the reader will judge what care is taken to prepare the novice for his future func- tions. Indeed, with the Romish priesthood in gene- ral, divinity is not an afterthought — is not a matter * I was told an interesting anecdote of this celebrated preacher. As it was related in the Novitiate, I suppose we may rely on its authenticity. On one occasion Bockdaloue had to preach a sermon on some very serious topic — I was not told what — and had retired to his room for his previous meditation. Being a few minutes beyond the appointed hour, he was sent for — when lo ! they found him with a fiddle in his hand, scraping a lively air, to which he was dancing with all his might and merriment ! On being surprised, he said : — " Pardon me ! brothers ; but the fact is, I was so depressed in spirits by the terrible subject, that I have been striving to rouse my heart by this little foolery." It is said he never preached a more powerful sermon than the one which followed " this little foolery." N 2 180 MISSIOiNAEY DUTIES. }eft in a great measure to individual piety, honesty, and zeal ; but a first necessity : a kind of mother's milk which is imbibed betimes. Hence the tenacity with which the Roman faith sticks to the mind — a tenacity which gains strength with every year of the mind's growth. It is a well-concocted system, adapted to suit every weakness of the human mindj which it knows how to exalt into the semblance of strength, by argument and example suited to every capacity. The like principle is not less evident in Mahomedanism ; whose tenets are inculcated and practices enforced> in the earliest youth of the beUeVer. A hatred of all other religions is sedulously imbibed by the follower of Mahomet, as by the Roman Catholic ; and the Koran is decidedly a parallel to infallibility. Man is the puppet of both supersti- tions : both are contrived to mystify his mind with similar illusions, in the many outward practices which evolve its inward graces. " I must not forget to call the reader's attention to another means of preparation in the Novitiate for the " sacred functions" — I mean meditation. To me it is a matter of wonder that the Jesuits are not all orators — extemporaneous orators. Truly, if all meditate according to the plan set down by Ignatics, they can never lack ideas. But sincerity, and earnest- ness are the founts of eloquence — certainly of sacred eloquence : as the word means, it is speech out o/'the heart. Perhaps, however, all things cloy on the mind as on the palate, in time. And who shall give life to MISSIONARY DUTIES. 181 the heart when all its sympathies are no longer felt — or lie inactive till the will of self interest or of a party shall command them to feel as they were wont ? Let it die, and be dead for ever — if it cannot live to its God and humanity, constant and true in word and deed ! If I may be permitted to speak of myself, I will say that, when I left the Novitiate, it would have been an easy matter for me to preach a sermon extempo- raneously on most of the topics of Christian morality; and I record the fact with candour and thankfulness, that the habit of meditation acquired in the Novitiate gives me great facility in rivetting my mind to any subject suggested by the will or the fancy : and for any length of time, without " distraction." 182 CHAPTER XI. EFFECTS OF THE TBAINING. There are certain hardy bulbous plants in my gar- den which I have repeatedly removed, even when in full flower, from one bed to another, as fancy directed, for the sake of a pleasing contrast. Despite the trans- plantation, these plants have flourished as vigorously as ever, after every removal. I feel a kindred affec- tion for these plants. Their hearty acquiescence and submission in every fate, and apparent determination " to do their best" in all circumstances, I cannot help associating and comparing in idea with my own career through life. Perhaps, however, my trans- plantation to the Jesuit-Novitiate is the one which ■will outlive in my memory every other : in recalling that period of my life I seem to contemplate another self, distinct from my present individuality. This statement will, I trust, exonerate me from the charge of egotism in speaking of myself with seeming ad- miration. I wish to contribute a few striking facts to the mysterious science of mind — to psychology — EFFECTS OF THE TRAINING. 183 nothing more ; and I trust that the reader's candour will not accuse me of vanity in the exposition. I have far higher aims and intentions. In other re- spects, history furnishes examples similar, if not identical, of such transplantation — among the rest, Alcibiades, the Athenian, leaving the delights of Athens, conformed with the rules and regulations of the ancient Jesuits of Greece : the hard, tough, un- compromising Spartans. RoBEKT de' Nobili, the Jesuit, became a Brah- min among Brahmins — conforming with all their ceremonies and customs:* — but he was a Jesuit — and the parallel diverges. Nevertheless, the malleability of the human mind is evident. I may, then, describe the effects of Jesuit-training on my mind after six months' proba- tion. To enable the reader to judge of its extent a retrospect is necessary : I must give him an idea of what I was before I underwent the operation. After spending nearly six years in England — years of intense application and mental industry — I took ship for America. I spent my twenty-first birthday in an island of the Western Archipelago. With the last remnant of a ruined fortune I resumed my travels, visited several of the islands, returned to the United States, crossed the Atlantic once more to France, travelled the Continent, and finally, in the following year, took refuge in London: possessing very little more than hopes wherewith to meet " the evil of the day." • Jouvency, Hist. S. I. p. 5, 1. 18. 184 EFFECTS OF From an enthusiastic student I had become as enthusiastic "a man of the world." But in the midst of the whirlpool into whose eddies I unscru- pulously ventured, thoughts of my previous " voca- tion" rose up ever and anon, like the buoyant rem- nants of a wreck which has gone down, suddenly rising and striking the sides of the forlorn mariner, who dreads their violence more than that of the raging waves. My forlorn condition in Loudon was interpreted, as I have said in the introduction, into a judgment of Heaven against my preVarication — hence my self-love was gratified by this providential character which my poverty assumed ; and, as my intentions were honest and honourable, I never gave my poverty a thought as to its having influenced me in the least: besides, the reception of one of the first Jesuits, Bobadilla, by Ignatius himself, was, so far at least, quite identical with mine. Certainly, in offering a refuge to merit of every kind, the Jesuits are the most extensive patrons in existence ! The reader's imagination can now easily picture to itself the effects of a sudden introduction to the world from the strict seclusion of a Romish college, on a mind, all whose studies had tended to invest it with the keenest sensibility, the most passionate a,dmiration of the beautiful in nature, in art, and, I VEill add, in woman. These effects, these habits, did they not tempt the mind to cast " a longing lingering look behind" as I journeyed up the winding paths of that, to me, heaven-indicated Sinai? What! a mere "philo- THE TRAINING. 185 sopher" this week, mingling in the gay and sad scenes of London's gorgeous wealth and heart- rending penury — and, the next week, a " true believer," humbled, contrite, and yet happy! I answer, even so ! Scarcely a week elapsed, and I felt as though all my life had been spent in the Novitiate. Strange as this seems, it admits of an easy explanation. It is simply this: — Sentiments hitherto but superficially excited were now stirred, so to speak, throughout their whole breadth and depth, by the wand of a religion whose handmaid is enthu- siasm. It did, indeed, seem " good for me to be there," where my destiny would be evolved for me by the direct interposition of Heaven ! Now, it was that which I was seeking; and the clever system which had taken me by the hand, pointed to the " everlasting hills," that seemed to my deluded eyes "already near." Little did I think that "Alps on Alps" would arise ere the Jong-desired Pacific of my fate (as to the way-worn traveller in the far-west) would rise to view and hail me to its bosom. In truth, there was poetry in the thoughts that sent me among the Jesuits ; there was poetry in the feelings inspired and maintained by their system ; and there was poetry in the triumph gained over me. " Brother," said the Superior to me, after a friend from St. Cuthbert's College had visited me, " they come to see the tamed lion 1" Had that friend described me as he saw me at Rodder, he might have said : — " His eyes were downcast, his features pale and trembling, his voice was soft, like that of a woman who loves strongly." 186 EFFECTS OF After I returned to the world, the friend with whom I had corresponded from the Novitiate remarked to me, that from my letters he had feared lest my enthu- siastic religion should end in insanity ! In concluding this topic I will only add, that I attained in a short time so complete a mastery over mind and heart, that at the slightest thought of evil, the vigilant conscience shuddered, as the body starts, in a solitary walk, at the rustling of the leaf suddenly falling. A few extracts from my letters may justify my friend's remark just alluded to. The letter was written about six months after my admission : — "My Dear Friend, — I believe that in my last letter you could perceive a strain of feeling not in- consonant with your present situation. Your mind, feelings, and dispositions, you exclaim, have under- gone a total subversion. I rejoice at it. It is a blessing of God for which you cannot sufficiently thank Him. You have hitherto been amusing your- self in criminal desires — flying from your God, and striving to fly from yourself! You remind me much of poor Orestes of olden time, who would compensate' for his terrible torments by flying from himself, taking refuge in dissipation : but in the hey-day of merriment the furies were upon him, and death had then been welcome! Be not offended at my com- paring you to a poor pagan, for you will, I trust, in a very few minutes, allow, that in point of fact, you are little richer in true magnanimity of soul than the poor pagan who had no sweet Redeemer — no good ' priest to compassionate his infirmities— tried in all ' THE TRAINIHG. 187 things,' as the Apostle exclaims, ' for an example.' But let us proceed. Before I appeal to your reason, howfever, let me breathe a sweet perfume to your heart: a black sky is aSj, a troubled heart, but the rain falls, and the sky is gladdened, so by a flood of tears will the heart exult. The mind is at ease when the passions are still, but she suddenly starts when the passions, like bats, are disturbed from their repose. Nevertheless, like some celestial melody, swelling from instrumental harmony, through tone and semitone, alt and tenor, through treble and through bass — such is the enduring harmony, the entrancing melody of that soul whose passions God attunes, touches and modulates into the chorus of his love. " Upon deep reflection, a question occurred to me in these words : All things considered, whose enjoy- ment is the greater — that man's who has had the contentment of all his passions, or the enjoyment of another man who has subdued them all — who has left not a wish uncontrolled by reason and religion ? . . Now, my passions being decidedly the best judges in this case, at least, I appealed to them — instantly they exclaimed — the last! — the last! — we cannot govern ourselves ! And reason confirmed the sentence, and religion, who sat beside, rejoiced thereat, and I have chosen the bett,er part. "As you are, my dear friend, what are you? Without religion, without virtue, without God ! Can there be conceived a state of greater or more deplorable dereliction ! Your heart is like a 188 EEJIECTS OF morass teeming with immundicities that spring up incessantly and scatter their disastrous seeds in every direction. You admit every desire, every thought, every suggestion of your soul's enemy. You dally with him — you expose to him the source of your weakness, and behold ! the infernal Dalilah despoils you of your only defence — then she exclaims in glee, the Philistines are upon you!— you are taken, thrown down, your eyes plucked out ! — that is, you are blinded by your passions, now become unruly. If your conscience were well, your will would not he diseased. I cannot imagine, how you can remain in your present condition, seeing yourself thus without God, utterly unable to bear up against the afilictions of life. It has pleased God to give you riches, &c. What, if by a single stroke, very possible if not pro- bable. He deprived you of all, and left you naked ! God in his mercy avert so terrible a visitation! But, my dear friend, are you in the right way to avoid the exterminating angel? Do you expect to confirm God's temporal itiercies by the most in- veterate spiritual barrenness ? And if the Almighty, provoked by your hardness, (which your present calamity ought to soften,) fulmined against you the avenging terrors of his justice, what corner of the earth would shield you when the breath of His name strikes dismay in the uttermost caverns of hell? Look, my dear friend, to yourself, to your poor soul, to your true earthly comfcHrt! To yourself — ^you have bad health — is this not a sufficient warning? To your soul, if you die suddenly in your present THE TRAINING. 189 condition, can you expect heaven, or purgatory, or hell ? Three tremendous alternatives ! To your bodily comfort, for, in truth, from your obduracy, I do really fear for you, my friend. O beware of the judgments of God! They are terrible. 'He hath made some to wither away and hath destroyed them, and hath made the memory of them to cease from the earth.' Again I say — again I intreat you, haste to be reconciled ! For God's wrath may be at hand, and may His mercy protect' you in the day of trouble. If you have sinned, have we not all sinned ? The Apostle exclaims ' in multis ofFendimus omnes,' and if you have not been ashamed to sin, why be ashamed to own your sin 1 This is ungenerous, unworthy of you ! Beware of the secret passion that perchance clings T^ith you still to the flesh ! Oh ! spare no pains to eradicate the hellish monster — the hideous Gorgon whose very face is death to the soul. * * * " From considerable experience in this world, I am sometimes inclined to hold it for certain that disap- pointment in every affection of the heart is the only certainty of our existence here, death alone excepted. Certes, I have had my desires, and many, perchance most of them, accomplished, but I can confidently as- sert that I was disappointed in all. I would particularly recommend this consideration to you. The hearts of the young and ardent may be said to teem with desires, as the bottom of the sea with weeds. They are all doomed to be disappointed. The fact is that we form our notions of things, at second hand — on se fait de tableaux — and was there ever a fool who, 190 EFFECTS OP THE TRAINING. in his particular pursuit, owned himself at fault ? tF -tF ^ tF " For the rest, my dear friend, be not offended at my freedom with you. You know my heart, what would I not do to bring you to God ! I have com- menced a Novena for your consolation and reconcilia- tion with offended Heaven, and under the patronage of our blessed Lady and St. Francis Xavier, I hope for success. Be of good heart ! Remember, Quern diligit Dominus castigat; flagellat autem omnem filium quem recipit " 191 CHAPTER XII. THE FEAST OF IGNATIUS. At length the joyous holiday came — the Feast ot Ignatius. The novices whose probation was ended took their vows, and fresh aspirants to the blessings of Ignatius knocked at the gate. The novices whose second year was ended took the vows in the morning. The other novices did not know when this ceremony was performed ; but, as all the usual occupations of the day were suspended, we saw them depart to the seminary, all apparently glad of the change. I was told by one of them that only the lay-brother — the cook of the establishment — was present, besides the Superior, when each novice] was admitted to the room to take his vows. He also said that the object of the vows being taken in private was to guarantee the Jesuit from legal conviction, inasmuch as it is con- Irary to law to take such vows in England. This was perfectly new to me, and the intelligence was at least unpleasant: it reminded me of the agent in London, who, finding from what I had said to him that I made no secret of my intention to become a 192 THE FEAST OP Jesuit, cautioned me " not to say anything about the matter to any one." He gave me no reason for his caution, but I have no doubt now that he alluded to the clause of the Act of the 10th Geo. IV., c. 7, which makes it " a misdemeanour in any Jesuit, or member of other religious body described in the act, to admit, or to aid in or consent to the admission of, any person within the United Kingdom, to be a mem- ber of such body ; and any person admitted or be- coming a Jesuit, or member of other such body within the United Kingdom, shall, upon conviction, be ban- ished from the United Kingdom for life." It may be questioned whether the law against smuggling is more stringent — but there can be but one opinion as to which is enforced. Verily, the act is a thorough- fare, and the Jesuits " drive their coach-and-six through it" with admirable dexterity. The following is the formula of the simple vows taken by the novices, who then become scholastic! or scholars of the Society : — " Omnipotent, Eternal God ! I, K, although in every respect most unworthy of thy Divine presence, still, confiding in thy infinite bounty and mercy, and impelled by the desire of serving thee — vow, in the presence of the most holy Virgin Mary and thy uni- versal celestial court, to thy Divine Majesty Poverty, Chastity, and Obedience perpetual, in the Society of Jestjs; and I promise to enter that Society in order to live and die in it,* taking all things in the sense of the Constitutions of the same Society. Of * Ut ritam in e& perpetud degam. IGNATIUS. 193 thy immense bounty and clemency, therefore, through the blood of Jesus Christ, I pray and beseech that thou wouldst vouchsafe to accept this holocaust in the odour of sweetness; and as thou hast granted me the desire and permitted the offering, so mayst thou grant me also the plentiful grace to fulfil it. Amen." I need scarcely state that the vow was pronounced in Latin. On the same day, as I have said, the fresh novices came from the college at Stonyhurst. I think there were six, two of whom left after a week's probation — all students from the college, averaging in age from seventeen to twenty. These were accompanied by all the " Fathers" and students from the seminary ; and our little garden was roused from its " sober sad- ness" by the joyful greetings of many voices exulting at the " harvest home !" and the goodly prospects of the revolving year. Then it was that we "heard the news" from the four points of the compass — from Rome, Switzerland, France, Germany, Ireland, India, Jamaica, &.c. &c. ; then it was that we saw the men who made " the news" in England ; then it was that I had another sight of the Provincial and the London agent, whose distinguished air was a study — I would turn back and meet that man fifty times, merely for the pleasure of studying his expression. If he ever becomes General of the Society, the Jesuits will enact exploits for history. Immediately after tlie accession of fresh novices commenced the grand Retreat of thirty days, or the " Spiritual Exercises" of Ignatius. o 194 THE SPIRITUAL The book of the " Spiritual Exercises" is the grand *' Inquisition" of the Jesuits. The Jesuits assert that Ignatius composed that famous book ; but a Bene- dictine aflBrms that it is copied from the work of a Spanish Benedictine whose name was Cis needs. The question, however, may be settled, if the reader can believe what Ignatius asserts ; namely, that he was inspired by the Virgin Mary herself in the com- position ; or rather, that " the book was truly written by the finger of God, and delivered to St. Ignatius by the holy Mother of God."* There may be doubts as to its authorship, but there can be none as to its efficacy in the dissection of con- science, if the prescribed "Exercises" are sincerely performed. A retreat in a retreat — for such is the Novitiate — seems unnecessary; but the important changes which Ignatius intended to effect in his novice required a broad and deep foundation to be laid beforehand ; and this is to be done by the Thirty Days' Retreat and its " Spiritual Exercises." • "A beat^ scilicet Virgine per manus sancti Ignatii Patris nostri. Est enim liber Exercitioium vere digito Dei scriptus, et k heatk Dei Matre sancto Ignatio traditus. Homo Orat. a J. Nohet. S. J. 1843. — " The iuternal responses," says another Jesuit, " which the Holy Ghost gave to St. Ignatius," &c. &c. Having once asked Father Laynez if he thought that Gfod had revealed to the founders of orders the form of their institute ; and Laynez having said that he thought it very probable, at least v^ith regard to essentials : ' I am of your opinmi,' replied the saint ; and it was doubtless his own ezperienca that dictated his opinion." Bochouks, 1. iii. The age in which Ignatius lived may palliate this presumption ; T)ut (he tradiliona are still ripe in the Novitiate — I heard them at Hodder ! EXERCISES. 195 On the day when it commenced all the novices had " recreation" — all were sent forth to take a long walk in the country round, most of the usual duties being superseded. In the evening the Retreat commenced with the reading of the " Points" of the meditation for the next morning, as I have stated with regard to my first Retreat : indeed, the meditations of that retreat consisted of the most prominent meditations of the "Spiritual Exercises:" as it were, the grand Retreat abridged. There were four meditations daily, with spiritual reading and walking in the garden for relaxation ; but during the week we had no inter- course at all with the other novices, who were now beginning their second year : they, of course, had made their great Retreat the year before. Silence was the order of the day : during the whole week we spoke to no one but the Superior. At the end of each week we had a holiday — a truce, as it were, between the soul and its spiritual enemies. On that day we mixed with the other novices, played at football, or walked in the vicinity. A few remarks on the Spiritual Exercises may be acceptable to the reader. The pious Alban Butlek says: — "Though the Saint was at that time unacquainted with learning any farther than barely to read and write, yet this book is so full of excellent maxims and instructions in the highest points of a spiritual life, that it is most clear that the Holy Ghost supplied abundantly what was yet wanting in him of human learning and study. The spirit which reigns in this book was that of all o 2 196 THE SPIRITUAL the saints. Frequent religious retirements had been practised by pious persons, in imitation of Christ and all the saints from the beginning : likewise the use and method of holy meditation were always known, but the excellent order of these meditations prescribed by Ignatius was new; and though the principal rules and maxims are found in the lessons and lives of the ancient fathers of the desert, they are here j udiciously chosen, methodically digested, and clearly explained."* With the exception of the first sentence of this ex- position, I agree with the writer. I give Ignatius credit for his judgment in selection, sagacity in arrangement, and wonderful tact in adaptation. Next in rank to the genius which conceives "things unattempted yet in verse or rhyme," is the vigorous talent which collects the diverging rays of the former into that focus whence a new fire is born, as it were, from old materials — old though they be as the rays of the first created sun. Again — " Every good gift and pvery perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of Lights:" perhaps the unnatural division of knowledge into human and divine, has marred the eflBcacy of both in directing the grateful heart of the creature to the Creator. All knowledge that has not a positive tendency to evil should be considered divine ; as it must necessarily tend to expand the mind and heart with thoughts of grateful love to the Author of all good things. * Lives of Saints, Ignat., July 31. EXERCISES. 197 Here, however, is a book admitted to be a com- pilation ; and yet the direct agency of the Holy Ghost is called in to inspire what was already known to men : namely, " what was wanting in Ignatius of human learning and study." The Spiritual Exercises have worked miracles of conversion in all times ; the commonest of which was the greatest: I mean the creation, of the Jesuit. I shall endeavour to give the reader some idea of this mental process. All the exercises or meditations are divided into four weeks ; but this division refers more to the sub- j ects of meditation than to the number of days. Each week's ending should find the soul inspired with appropriate and peculiar sentiments. In the first week we meditated on the end of man ; the object for which he was created ; and the various pursuits which thwart the accomplishment of that ob- ject: namely, the pursuit of riches, glory, knowledge, and power. The nature and enormity of sin ; its penal- ties; judgment; hell; were prominent topics of this "week's meditations ; preparatory to the " general con- fession," which all the fresh novices had to make : myself included, though 1 had. made one only a few months before. In fact, the "Exercises" require a general confession, as a part essential of their effects.* But, even had it not been necessary, I would have requested permission to make mine ; for my increased devotion and spirituality discovered during my medi- * Exefc. Spir. 198 THE SPIEITUAL tations numerous forgotten " crimes and misdemea- nours," when conscience was probed by the searching scrutiny of self-examination. Great, indeed, was my affliction : I shed tears of contrition, and repaired to the confessional for that absolution which would speedily reconcile me to an offended God. I desired to feel that I was free from all sin ; and I felt so — thanks to that miraculous tribunal ! Pro- testants must walk in uncertainty as to the absolute remission of their sins ; but Roman Catholics know, even in this world, that their " sins are forgiven them." Nay, more, even the temporal penalties due to their sins are remitted by "indulgence;" and won- derful to tell ! they can even send one soul at a time from purgatory to heaven ! I hold now in my hand a piece of paper given to me at Hodder, whereon is written a prayer, for the rehearsal of which, before a crucifix, after having received the sacrament, a full remission of sin is granted, together with the libera- tion of one soul from the pains of purgatory — unius animcB a purgatorii pcenis liberationem concessit t The " indulgence " is stated to have been granted by Pius Vll.* This is, doubtless, the most important week. In it the beginning, or foundation,-!- is to be laid : that * Pius VII., in perpetuam concessit plenariam peccatorum remis- sionem, et unius animse a purgatorii pcenis liberationem, ab omnibus lucrandum, qui, corde contrite confessi, et saci^ refecti synaxi, ante sanctissimi crucifixi imaginem, banc orationem, quocumque idiomate, pie recitaverint. t Principium sive Fundamentum. fiXERCISES. 199 is, a total indifference to all things in themselves ; preferring only such as conduce to the end for which we were created. The diflSculties that may be expected to arise ia the soul of the self-reformer are obviated : at least aa attempt is made to that effect. He must, on first rising in the morning, call to mind the sin or defect which he particularly desires to discard. At noon, and in the evening, he must examine his conscience, to see how far he has suc- ceeded in this particular; having imprinted every lapse of thought or deed on his memory, by pressing his hand on his breast on every occasion of offence. After the examen he must enter these debts of con- science on the lines of his Sin-book before described ;* continuing the practice day after day, and comparing one day with another, till he is free from sin. Ignatius then proceeds with some instruction : 1st, on the various ways of sinning by thought, word, and deed, " most useful for the purgation of the soul, apd the confession of sins :" 2ndly, on " the emolu- ments of a General Confession." The method of meditating is then given. Each meditation has two or more preludes. The first is the " composition of place." In every meditation or contemplation on sensible objects, such as Christ, we must fancy, according to some imaginary vision, the visible place, representing what we contemplate: such as a temple, a mountain, where we may find Christ Jesus or the Virgin Mary ; and other circum- • Page 107. 200 THE SPIRITUAL stances which enter into the argument of our con- templation. On the other hand, if the topic of speculation be not corporeal : such as the considera- tion of our sins, the composition or construction of the locality may be as follows. Imagine that you see your soul in this corruptible body, as it were confined in a prison, and both body and soul, or the whole man, exiled in this valley of misery amongst the brute beasts. The second prelude is to beg of the Lord that which you desire, according to the argument of the proposed contemplation. For instance, if we have to meditate on the Resurrection of Christ, we must beg to be inspired with the joy wherewith we may rejoice with Christ rejoicing ; but if on the Passion, we must beg for tears, pains, and anguish, in order to sympathise with Christ suffering. . In the meditation on Sin, we must beg for shame and self-confusion : considering how many men have been consigned to eternal perdition for mortal sin: ay, even one! and that we have so often merited damna- tion by sin. A preparatory prayer, to consecrate the intention, and two preludes, must precede every meditation and contemplation : the prayer always the same, the preludes varying with the subject. Colloquia, or familiar mental conversations^ con- clude the meditations. In the one on Sin, we must imagine Jesus Christ present before us, nailed to the cross. We must ask ourselves the reason why the infinite Creator himself became a creature, and EXERCISES. 201 deigned to descend from a life of eternity to the death of time for our sins. Moreover, we must press the argument to ourselves ; asking what hitherto have we done for Christ, worthy of being remem- bered ? What shall we do at length ? what ought we to do? And looking on him thus nailed to the cross, we must express the suggestions of our minds and affections. In a word, it is the peculiar property of the colloquy, that it is as it were the address of a friend to a friend, or of a servant to his master ; at one time begging some particular grace or favour, at another time accusing ourselves of some fault — sometimes proposing our difficulties, asking advice and aid. To conclude with the Pater noster. The sin of the angels in revolt, the sin of Adam, our own sins, are the three points of the first exer- cise; the memory, understanding, and will being respectively affected and influenced by cause and effect, sin and its consequences. Following up this beginning, we are to review our whole life, recapitulating where we have lived, our usual topics of conversation, and the various occupa- tions in which we have been engaged. We must perpend — deliberately weigh — our sins themselves, their foulnesSj the heinousness of each according to its nature, even if they had not been for- bidden. A conscious comparison of ourselves with the infi- nite Creator, must cover us with confusion at our presumptuous littleness; and yet so corrupt, so de- praved in mind, loathsome in body — in fine, like an 202 THE SPIRITUAL ulcer or impostume, whence issue so great a dis" charge of sins and pestilent vices.* Then consider the attributes, the perfections of the God whom we have offended ; opposing them all to our vices and defects — to wit. His power, wisdom, goodness, and justice; to our extreme weakness, ig- norance, malice, and iniquity ! The soul will then burst forth into exclamations, impelled by this vehement commotion of the feelings ; wondering greatly how all God's creatures, instancing each, could have borne with us so long, and permitted us to live till now. How the angels, bearing the sword of Divine justice, have endured, guarded, and, by their suffrages, even aided us: how the saints have interceded for us: how the heavens, the sun, moon, and other heavenly bodies; the elements and all manner of animals and productions of the earth, instead of punishing, have preserved us : how, in fine, the earth opening beneath our feet has not swallowed us down, throwing open the gates of a thousand hells, where we should suffer eternal punishment.^ This meditation is followed by repetitions of the first and second just given, and of the third, — new coUoquia being introduced in the third, viz., with the Virgin Mary, with Christ, and lastly, with God the Father. The Virgin Mary is asked to " impetrate" the Son, the Son to " impetrate" the Father, and the Father * Tanquam ulcus, sire apostema — ex quo tanta sanies peccatorum, tantaque vitioram lues defiuxerit. Exerc. Spir. 2. t Exeic. 2. EXERCISES. 203 to give the grace of perfect repentance ; which should result from having dwelt anew on the various topics of the meditation which affected us most: for it must always be remembered, that we should suffer the soul to dwell on such topics as made the most impression.* The fifth meditation is one of the most singular in the whole book — certainly the most characteristic of the system, whose influence on the minds of men I am now endeavouring to explain. The subject is Hell. The first prelude gives the composition of place : viz., the eyes of the imagination must behold the length, breadth, and depth of hell. The second con- sists in praying for an intimate knowledge or consci- ousness of the sins for which the reprobate are suffer- ing; so that if ever we should forget the love of God, the fear of punishment, at least, should restrain us from sin. The first point is to behold, in imagination, the vast conflagration of hell, and the souls therein, enclosed in certain flaming bodies : as it were in a prison of fire.-j- Secondly, to hear in imagination the wailings, the shrieks, cries, and blasphemies against Christ and his saints, issuing thence. Third, thoroughly to smell, even with the smelling of the imagination, the smoke, brimstone, and the horrid stench of some sewer or filth and rottenness. * Illis diutius, cliligentiusqne immoTandum est. t Animas igneis quibnsdam corporibus, relut ergastalis inclusag. £z. 5. 204 THE SPIRITUAL Fourthly, to taste in like manner the bitterest things; such as tears, rancour, the worm of con- science. Fifthly, to touch in a manner those fires, by whose touch those very souls are burnt up. In the colloquy with Christ, we must call to mind the souls of those who are condemned to hell, either because they would not believe in the coming of ■Christ; or if they believed, did not live in conformity with his precepts, either at the same time when Christ lived in this world, or after and subsequently. We must then give thanks to the same Christ most fer- vently, for not having permitted us to rush to such destruction, but rather has, to this very day, treated lis with clemency and mercy.* Other meditations may be given by the Spiritual Director, such as Death, Judgment, &c. The place where the retreat is to be made should be, as much as possible, remote from " the busy hum of men" — some solitude wherein the terrors of con- science will make the strong man tremble as the babe in the cradle when the wolf comes to devour it. According to Ignatius, the first exercise should take place at midnight — the second in the morning at rising — the third before or after mass, before breakfast — the fourth about the time of vespers — the fifth during the hour before supper. This distribution of time is common to the four weeks, but it may be varied, with additions or diminutions according to the .age, habit of mind and body, or temperament of the in- * Ex. 5. EXERCISES. 205: dividual. Under the title of " additions," Ignatius gives the following regulations for the retreat. After going to bed, and before closing the eyes to sleep, a few seconds must be spent in thinking of the hour of rising, and the meditation then to take place. To collect one's thoughts as soon as the eyes are open, directing them exclusively to the subject of meditation; and for the sake of greater modesty and confusion, to set some such example as this before the mind : namely, how a soldier would stand before his king and royal court, blushing, anxious and confused, if he were convicted of having com- mitted a grave misdemeanour against the king, after having received from him many benefactions, many and great gifts. In the second exercise, considering how much I have sinned, (continues Ignatius) I will fancy myself bound in chains ; and soon to be placed before the judge, as a culprit is wont to be dragged to the tribunal, bound in irons. Imbued with such thoughts or others, according to the sub- jects of meditation, I will dress myself. Thirdly, at a step or two from the place of medi- tation, I will stand for a short time, as long as it might take to recite the Pater noster, raise my soul on high, and contemplate my Lord Jesus, as present^ and seeing what I am going to do : to whom I ought to do reverence by an humble gesture.* Fourthly, I will enter upon the contemplation, sometimes prostrate on the ground, with my face * Eeverentiam, cum humili gestu exhibere. 206 . THE SPIBITUAL downwards, or on my back ;* sometimes sitting, or standing, and composing myself in that manner whereby I may hope more easily to obtain what I wish. Here two things milst be borne in mind: first, if I obtain my desire whilst on my knees, or in any other position, I shall seek no more : secondly, in the point wherein I shall feel the desired devotion, I ought to rest at ease without any anxiety of passing on, until I am satisfied. Fifthly, after the exercise, either sitting or walking for a quarter of an hour, I will consider with myself, how my meditation or contemplation has succeeded : if not well, I shall seek out the causes with sorrow and the resolve of amendment ; but if well, I shall thank God, resolving to follow the same method afterwards. Sixthly, I will avoid the thoughts which produce joy, such as that of Christ's glorious resurrection ; because any such thoughts impede tears, and the grief I should feel for my sins : which grief is then to be sought after, by rather indulging the remembrance of death or judgment. Seventhly, for the same reason, I will deprive myself of all light by closing the doors and windows whilst I am there, except whilst I have to read or eat. Eighthly, I will refrain from all laughter, and words that induce laughter, with the greatest care. Ninthly, I will not set my eyes on any one, except for saluting or taking leave. * Fronns aut supinus jacens. EXERCISES. • 207 Tenthly, I will add some satisfaction or penance, &c. — rejecting, in the matter of food, not only cer- tain superfluities (which is the part of temperance, not penitence), but even necessaries ; and the more the better, avoiding, meanwhile, any injury to nature, or great debility or infirmity. In the manner of sleeping, and the condition of my bed, removing not only what is soft and comfortable, but even other things that are requisite, as much as may be without serious danger of life or health. Sleep is not to be abridged, unless one has been accustomed to indulge it to excess. With regard to the flesh, I will inflict on it and make it feel pain, by applying and wearing haircloths, ropes or iron bars, or by inflicting stripes and lashes, or by other kinds of austerity. In all which, however, it seems more expedient that the feeling of pain should be in the flesh only, and should not penetrate the bones, &c. Wherefore, let us rather use whips made of small cord, which afflict the surface, but not the inner parts, to such an extent as to injure health. Few of these '' additions" were observed at Hodder, particularly with regard to the last mentioned ma- cerations. On the other hand, all the advice as to the mental phenomena was strictly inculcated, and influenced all the training in the Novitiate ; which, in one word, is assimilated throughout the year to the four weeks of the Spiritual Exercises. Supposing that the soul has turned her back on all the "pomps and vanities" of this world; is broken in by contrition; is convinced of her destiny, and 208 • THE SPIRITUAL ready to embrace it — a great model is proposed after the manner of Ignatius. The second week begins with a grand contempla- tion of the kingdom of Christ, in the similitude of an earthly king. Synagogues, villages,* and towns, through which Christ journeyed, stand before the eyes in the pious panorama which the fancy of Igna* tius always constructs for the interested soul. The king speaks — we listen. " I intend to con- quer all the regions of the infidels. Whoever will go with me must be ready. He must not use any other kind of food, raiment, or any thing else than he sees me use. He must also stand out with me in the same labours, watchings, and other occasions, in order that each may share my victory and bliss, ac- cordingly as he shall partake in my labours and diffi- culties." A prompt response to this offer must be made by acceptance of the terms ; or else, mark the conse- quence, ye generous hearts, but still full of vanity ! " If any one refuses, of how much blame will he be worthy among all men, and what a cowardly soldier he will be thought !" All who are in their senses will be eager to offer themselves to the service of Christ. But the rebellious flesh, the senses, self-love, and the love of the world must be stormed. Then the terras of surrender: — "Behold, O King, supreme and Lord of all ! Although most unworthy, still, confiding in thy grace and assistance, I offer myself • Villas. EXERCISES. 209 entirely to Thee, and submit all that I have to thy will J attesting in the presence of thy infinite good- ness, and in the sight of the glorious Virgin thy Mother, and of the court of Heaven, that this is my intention, this my desire, this my firmest resolve; that, provided it conduce to the greater increase of thy praise and my service, I may follow Thee as closely as I can, and imitate Thee in bearing injuries and all adversity with true poverty of spirit, as well as of worldly goods; provided, I say, it please thy most holy Majesty to choose and receive me for this manner of life."* This contemplation, which may be said " to come to the point," is to take place twice in the day. Doubtless it has given many an " indiflTerent" peni- tent to the Society, at the time when, by the permis- sion of popes, princes, and prelates, the Spiritual Exercises of Ignatius recruited its ranks in every region of the globe. And wonderful to think ! a maa entangles himself — fails by his own mind, as if by his own hand — a most fascinating and irresistible mental suicide. Ignatius gives us the weapon ; we commit the fatal act ; the Society buries, embalms, or burns our lifeless carcass ! " In this and the following weeks," Ignatius ob- serves, " it would be useful to read out of the New Testament, or other pious book, such as the ' Following of Christ,' and the ' Lives of the Saints.' "f * Exer. 1. Heb. sec. The above may be called the shadow of tho vow " cast before ;" the latter resembles it most sisterly, •f Exer. Spir. Heb. sec. P 210 THE SPIRITUAL At Hodder we read the second, but not the first. The second week, then, is passed in meditating on the life of Christ — the Incarnation, Nativity, Cir- cumcision, 8cc. ; all presented to the mind according to the spirit of Ignatius, and brought home, by the same spirit, to bear with conquering energy on the soul: supposed, as we have seen, to be "indifferent to all things," but still ready to decide on the election. There is some wisdom in this. The mind should come unprejudiced to the study of every subject, otherwise she had better remain in primitive igno- rance: the jaundice of the mind, like that of the eyes, is the never-failing source of erroneous judg- ment. All the incidents just named were to be contem- plated as if we were present at the very scene in per- son : the soul, meanwhile, in her ardent colloquy, endeavouring to derive strength in her resolutions of amendment, by the hope of assistance from the foun- tain of Divine grace. The views of Ignatius are always striking, sometimes magnificent. Thus on the Incarnation, the preludes exhibit the three Divine Persons in the act of looking down upon the earth, densely peopled with its inhabi- tants, who were dropping into hell. In the eternity of their Godhead, they decree that the second Person should assume the nature of man for the salvation of the human race. Accordingly, at the time prescribed, the archangel Gabriel is destined to be the messenger to the blessed Virgin Mary. EXJERCISES. 211 Then the imaginary vision, just as if the circumfe- rence of the universal earth were spread before the eyes, with all her habitants — nations unnumbered ! The mental eyes look around, and in a certain part of this spreading; earth, they discover the little house* of the blessed Virgin at Nazareth, in the province of Galilee ! I behold all the men who are the objects of my con- templation, — ail men dwelling on the face of the earth, so different in manners, movements, and ac- tions; some white, others black; some enjoying peace, others agitated by wars; one man weeping, another laughing; one in health, another diseased; some at the moment of birth, others, in their turn, in their last agony; and so on according to the almost countless varieties of human action and passion. In the midst of this scene, I raise my eyes and con- template the three Divine Persons, from the royal throne, beholding all the races of men on the surface of the earth, living like the blind — on all sides dying — descending into hell Then I let fall the eyes and see the Virgin Mary in her little house, with the angel saluting her at the eventful moment; bringing home always the thought to myself, and from such a contemplation deriving some fruit in the soul. The various personages in this drama must be heard, as well as seen. I hear "men in the world conversing, blaspheming, and abusing each other," I direct my hearing heavenward, and hear the Divine • Domuncula. p 2 212 THE SPIRITUAL Persons in heaven discussing the redemption of the human race: from heaven to earth once more — to a little room descending, I hear the Virgin and the Angel negotiating* the mystery of the Incarnation. From reflecting on each and all, or by applying the circumstances to myself, I shall study to derive not a little fruit. I have heard the words of these personages, I must also see their aciions — see "how mortals injure one another, strike, murder, and rush all to hell! . . ." Then, — "How the most holy Trinity executes the work of Incarnation." Thirdly, " How the Angel fulfils his mission,t and the blessed Virgin, with most humble demeanour, gives thanks to the Divine Majesty. " Directing the reflected light of all these incidents to ourselves, we may gather fruit as we proceed. " In the colloquy 1 shall diligently seek for the ex- pressions wherewith I may worthily address each Divine Person, the Word incarnate, and his Mother ; praying, according to the emotion I shall feel in my heart, for whatever may aid me to a greater imi- tation of my Lord Jesus Christ, as it were just made man."j This contemplation will give the reader an idea of the plan by which Ignatius leads the soul into his enticing trap. How sweet are the baits suspended there ! how delicious the odours around that make us ask — Whence come they ? these odours ! but they • Traotantes. f Fungatur legatioae. X Exer. Spir. Heb. sec. EXERCISES. 213 are so sweet, so delicious, that poor hiniian nature bribes the judgment to believe them divine — they are so sweet — so delicious ! Every meditation, and every contemplation, are scenes of a drama — instinctwith life: its pleasures and its pains, its vices and its virtues, and every corporeal sense — the five senses all — must perform, each, its function: metaphorically at least, to aid the deception, Merelj' to see and hear the personages in contem- plation is trivial ; we must, with a certain interior taste and smell, relish the suavity and lusciousness* of the soul imbued with divine gifts and virtues, according to the personages. Again, we must, " by means of an internal touch, feel and kiss the garments, places, footsteps, &c., where we may expect a greater increase of devotion, or any other spiritual gift."i- Such is the "application of the senses" to the uses of the soul. It is towards the end of this week that occurs the famous meditation of " The two Standards," in which Ignatius sanctified his previous warlike notions, just as he has applied all his natural predi- lections and refined sensuality to the purposes of his religion. We contemplate two camps in battle array — two generals appealing to us, eager to enlist us in his service. In the rear of each general is his re- spective city or stronghold. One general is Jesus Christ, his city Jerusalem ; the other is Satan, his * Dulcedo. f Ibid, ut antea. 214 THE SPIRITUAL city Babylon the Great. The latter displays a splendid banner on which is inscribed his watch- word —" RICHES, HONOUR, PRIDE!" On the standard of the Redeemer appear the words — "POVERTY, SHAME, HUMILITY!" "To arms !" is sounded on all sides — we must instantly decide in whose ranks we will fight — shall it be with Satan or with Chhist ? . . . . Having joined the ranks of the latter, having made the "election,"* we must learn how to conquer by patience and submission — by non-resistance unto death ; these being the arms of the novice, and of every Christian who wishes to enlist under the re- cruiting flag of Ignatius, Tlie third week, there- fore, we contemplated the passion of Christ' — we walked in the awful procession from the garden of Gethsemane to the hall of Caiaphas — to the tribunal of Pilate — we witnessed the hideous flagellation, and seemed to hear the sound of the remorseless lash ! and thence we repaired to Calvary to see the end. It was the contemplation which follows the Cruci- fixion, viz., the lament of the holy women at the burial of Christ — the mother's anguish, the friend's affliction — that I most remember. My eyes filled with tears — thoughts of sincere sadness filled my soul — my sentiments assumed the form of verse, and when informed of the fact, the Superior, at my re- quest, gave me leave to write the verses ! — Truly if anything can bind the soul irrevocably to a system, • Exer. Spir. Heb. 2. KXERCISESi 215 it is this facile humouring of the mind and temper — this identification of things human with things Divine ! Still we were " persuaded that our progress in spi- rituality, would be commensurate with our estrange- ment from the love of self and of our own conve- nience 1"* The fourth week is the Sabbath of the Retreat. The " glorious mysteries " then make amends for the gloom of the preceding weeks, when no thought of gladness was permitted to distract the soul deter- mined on its self-affliction. Now the scene is changed. We stand by the sepulchre of Christ, in the little house of the blessed Virgin : the form, parts, and other peculiarities of which, as a cell or oratory, we examine with dili- gence one after another.f We must think of those things only which give spiritual joy, such as the thought of glory. The light of day is to be ad- mitted; in spring and summer we must be cheered by the sight of the verdant herbage and of flowers> or the loveliness of some sunny spot ; during winter by the now seasonable rays of the sun or a fire ; and so on, in like manner, with regard to the other be- fitting delights of body and mind, wherewith we can rejoice with the Creator and our Redeemer.f * Exer. Spir. Heb. 2. f Heb. 4. i Heb. 4. The edition from which I have translated is that of NocET, with notes by Roothan, the present General of the Society. Other writers hare thought proper to dismiss the Spiritual Exercises of Ignatius with contempt or abuse. For my part, I am of opinion that nothing can be gained by misrepresentation, certainly with 216 CONSOLATION. The contemplation of Divine love concludes the re- treat. The perfections of the Creator, the joys of the saints and angels, become the subjects of affec- tionate meditation. The soul has made its choice — its wings are fledged — it soars triumphant to the empyrean of " love Divine." My enthusiasm was raised to the highest pitch during the latter part of this retreat. I could not help speaking from the fulness of my heart to my " Brothers," of the gushing consolations that en- tranced me with delight. Sometimes I was uncon- scious of existing in the body — my breast within seemed to glow with a fire that gently warmed but did not consume ! I saw no difficulties in perfection — all things were easy to him who loved strongly. All that I did gave me intense satisfaction ; my heart yearned for some great occasion when the sacrifice would be made complete : martyrdom or a natural death would have been sweet in that exaltation ! I was imprudent enough to speak of my sensations to some of the "Brothers:" the Superior sent for me, and mildly reprimanded me for the indiscretion; He said, " Brother, your consolations, if spoken of, may discourage those who have not been thus favoured ; but beware ! the time of ' dryness' will come ! So, moderate your exultation." It came — that time of "dryness," as ascetics call that sterility of thought, that disgust for prayer and meditatiop and all spiri- tualities, which must naturally follow intense unre- mitted application to any pursuit, carnal or spiritual, regard to the Jesuits — tie reality exceeds the fiction in terrible import ! 217 CHAPTER XIII. DRYNESS — BEMARKABXE CUBE OPINIONS. Ascetics understand by " spiritual consolation," that joy of the soul, that alacrity, gifted with which, it finds no religious duty irksome, but, on the con- trary, highly pleasant, and performs all its functions with inexpressible satisfaction. The " gift of tears" — ; that is, the flowing of tears during meditation — is esteemed the highest degree of "consolation." It is said that few — even of the greatest " saints" — have had much " consolation" in their earthly pilgrimage. St. Theresa passed, I believe, two and twenty years of her life in "spiritual dryness,"* which is the anti- thesis of "consolation." Her "merit" was conse- quently greater, since she persevered in all the practices of devotion, despite the denial of consola- tion, or the heavenly encouragement vouchsafed to piety. A'Kempis exclaims with a pious sneer, " That soul rides pretty easily whose steed is the grace of * Bibaden. p. 799. " The fervid Ignatius often found all the liquid pleasures of the inward man quite dried away." — Bartol. p. ■20. 218 DRYNESS. God !"* thereby implying that it is an easy matter to persevere in devotion when its practices are pleasant to the soul. The time of aridity is therefore a time of trial; when the soul is left as it were to herself, to battle with the cunning tempter, who then endeavours to terrify her with all manner of doubts and fears, disgusts and bitterness. This is the ascetic view of the subject. What is the true cause ? If a man takes much wine, it will produce on his mind, first exhilaration, then delirium. If for several days he works incessantly at his desk, the result will be total exhaustion of idea, and extreme fatigue. Here are eifects whose causes are apparent to "the meanest capacity." Enlightened physiology traces mental effects un- erringly to physical causes, and, vice versd, physical effects to mental causes. If the " Saints" could have been enlightened in this matter, how soon would they have shaken off their desolation by giving their over-toiled faculties a short respite, or a change of exercise ! The Jesuit system, by varying and alternating cor- poreal and mental application, obviates, to a con- siderable extent, the pernicious effects of this mental lassitude ; or, in the language of asceticism, this exile of the heart. Still the constant return of the same duties must sooner or later dispel the charm which deludes the mind by novelty. To youths trans- * Satis suaTJter eqnitat, quam gratia Dei portat ! De Imit. Chiiat. 1. ii. c. 9. DRYNESS. 219 planted from the nursery-bed of a Romish College, the extra confinement and prayer are only a good " set-off" against " tasks and lessons." They conse- quently " submit" to the Novitiate with tolerable ease : they only enlarge that obedience which the Jesuits have, from their early years, drilled into them with prescient solemnity. Of course all are ^here completely tamed — at the college they were only caught, and they came to the Novitiate with the mark of the lasso on their necks. To them the duties of the Novitiate soon become mechanical, and they bear the yoke easily. It is very different, however, with those who went to Hodder from worldly pursuits : full grown, mature men, with habits long formed, and inclinations long used to gratification. I often pitied one of my brother novices in this respect. I am sure that the Novitiate was a hard trial to that poor fellow. For myself, I was in my twenty-second year ; and, though I h&A. been in the world, still I had con- tracted no habits which a strong effort of the will could not overcome. I never felt the duties irksome, but I suffiered intensely for several days from a dis- mal depression of spirits. Doubtless it was brought on by mental application and confinement ; but, as a matter of course, I considered it a trial and the work of the enemy. Hideous dreams by night and bitter thoughts by day — remorse for the past, despair of the future — I could not think of Heaven ! It seemed to my desolate heart that I was des- tined to commit some horrible crime — inconceivable 220 EEMAKKABLE C0EE. though it was, and impossible to a will long resigned to Heaven and bent on perfection: and yet the visible, tangible thought rose up and mocked me with the awful words : Thou art doomed! Such was my desolation. The Superior's watch- ful eye perceived my sadness; he questioned me, I told him of my soul's unrest. He ascribed it to a natural cause. " Brother," he said, " you need a change of occupation — your mind yearns after its former studies — what would you like to read ? What say you to St. Cheysostom ?" I was already half cured. I wiped away my tears, for they were flowing fast, and assented to the pro- posal. He went into the library, which opened ihto his room, and brought me a huge folio, saying, " Here, brother, read this and be happy !" I thanked him, took the book, went to my cell, opened the folio at random, and the first words that caught my eye were as follows: — "To Stageieitts, on Providence. It was be- fitting, my dearest friend, Stageieius, that I should now both be at your side, and together with you thoroughly share your affliction ; and by exhortation of words, and ministering to you by services, and taking a share in everything else for your comfort, lighten in part, as much as I were able, your sad despondency." Here, then, was a pious man, suffering from the same malady that afflicted me ! 1 was now the patient, and St. Cheysostom was my physician! KEMABKABLE CUBE. 221 Oh ! how soon was my sorrow changed into gladness even by the few lines of the introduction. I was, above all, struck with the beautiful expressive word of the original avvhiaTaXanrcopetcrBai, which requires to be paraphrased in English by " together with you thoroughly to be afflicted." No modern language but the German can express its meaning by a single compound verb : perhaps, a German may translate it into durch-mitleiden; but still some of the original force and descriptiveness is lost — unexpressed. It is needless to state that my cure was as perfect as it was instantaneous. Sadness fled from my heart, and joy was restored to it, as to its own loved dwell- ing — eager to return ! To borrow a beautiful com- parison of the same author, "as a bird when it hath flown from its nest, so is man oppressed as a slave, when he becomes a stranger far from his own home."* I found the treatise throughout strikingly apposite to my own case; the symptoms of the malady of his friend were singularly similar to those of my own distemper ; and the forceful yet tender, the argumentative yet passionate appeals of Cheysostom, compounded a panacea to which I am happy to append my testimonial. I have now before me an analysis of the tract, with translations of the most striking passages, all written atHodderat the time in question. I fancy I hear the reader exclaim, " What a strange coincidence !" And so it appeared to me, nay more, I • "Qf yap opj'Eoj' orav iKveraaBy, Ik Tr)Q voaaiag avTOv, ovTia avBpiuirog SovXovrai, 'orav djro?ev(o0y, dvr6 tSiv iSiuv Toiriav.— Chryaost. De Provid. 222 REMARKABLE CURE. could not help considering it as another providential interposition; for, as I have said, I opened the book at random, and it opened at the very beginning of that address to Stageirius concerning his despon- dency and the adorable providence of God ! Whether the Superior expected that I would light on that treatise sooner or later, and so derive consolation, I know not now; but I certainly thought he was in- spired to bless me with the means of cure.* And yet the thoughts that occurred to me whilst reading that book were, I may say, additional stones that paved the way to my emancipation from the Society. My mind listened, deeply thinking, to these words that follow : — " Let us shake off this dust (the prej u- dice of the ignorant and their superstitions), for thus the violence of this grief will be rendered tolerable and light, provided we yield not ourselves to be hur- ried by the distemper over the precipice ; but rather let us be sohcitous to lookback and rationally consider what is expedient — aXXa koI biavacrTTJcrov creavrov — rouse thyself!" The reader would doubtless wish to know whether similar influences to those which I have hitherto de- tailed, were brought to bear upon my fellow-novices. I know not. I could not help telling them, some- times, the " strange things" and the burning thoughts that occurred to myself ; but whether they were more • It is but fair to state that the book had been evidently very little used, and, for an old edition, was quite new ; the tract Ilpoe Sray. was not the least " thumbed." The incident was a casualty rendered remarkable only by the state of my own mind; just as the accidental opening of a window refreshes the patient under burning fever. OPINIONS. 223 discreet, or less "favoured," I cannot say. They seemed to me — all of them — sincere in their determi- nation to be strict conscientious novices ; and, though at all times some one or other was evidently " in de- solation," yet, on the whole, I may safely say that they seemed satisfied with their " vocation." As all allusions to mere " worldly matters " were to be utterly discarded from our conversations, we had to speak of " things divine," or of the Socie ty : its heroic apostles, its martyrs, its present state, its progress. Unless the last-mentioned topics are to be included in " things divine," I say that " things divine" were frequently substituted by " the Society and its con- cerns." There was a difference in the conversation of the second-year novices : these, I could not help remarking, spoke very pointedly on the vow of Obe. dience. . From them I heard the tropes and metaphors which Ignatius has bequeathed for a sign to his faithful followers. " I must be," said they, " like soft wax in the hands of my Superior, to take what form he pleases." Again, "I must look upon myself as a corpse, which has no voluntary motion ; or as the staff in an old man's hand, which he uses according to his own convenience." This is wo^ " tyranny ! oppression! a gross insult to common sense !" : not the least in the world : it is only the perfection of holy obedience, nothing more. How can there be tyranny, oppression, where men are willing and eager to do all that is commanded ? The enemies of the Jesuits never stumbled on a more stupid argument than this : it is the very essence of 224 OPINIONS. ignorant prejudice, and only serves to interest us by the comparison of Eugene Sue, whereby he assimi- lates the Jesuits to the Thugs, who also make corpses ! — a pitiful conundrum, but quite legitimate according to the principles of the paranomasia in question. But we will take quite a diiFerent view of the subject ; expressing our thanks to the party who suggested the objection.* Here, then, has Holy Father Ignatius selected three metaphors to " give an idea" of what sort of obedience he expects to find in his Jesuits, These metaphors are — 1st, wax; 2d, a corpse; 3d, an old man's stick. Very expressive, certainly. But he did not stop there ; he subjoined the property of wax, namely, " to take what form he pleases ;" he intimates the passiveness of a corpse, " which has no voluntary motion ;" he declares the unscrupulous adaptation of an old man's stick, " which he uses according to his convenience." Now, in all fair play, I ask, if a man becomes, in the hands of his superiors, as this wax, this corpse, this old man's stick, in the" manner that Ignatius superadds by way of explanation— I ask, "in the name of common sense," will that man not do what- ever his Superior commands ? He will, you say, but " where no sin lies !" Will your wax demur to be made into a Rataillac by Madame Tussaud? Will your corpse refuse to be dissolved into rank cor- ruption ? Will your old man's stick aid his steps, but refuse to " knock down" " according to his con- venience 1" * Notes, &c., on the Jesuits, by " John Fairplay, Esq." 1845. OPINIONS. 225 Here is no " confusion of tongues," indeed ! Here is argument — argument suggested by yourself. True, we were told that " holy obedience would never exact what was contrary to the will of God." Alas ! what crimes have men not committed under the sanction of conscience ! — a false conscience, of which you know how to declaim.* The boundless confidence, the divinity with which you are invested as " Supe- riors" — a mystification which you constantly keep alive — suppresses every question or thought of a question in your wax, your corpse, your old man's stick ; and your Jesuit will be true to his calling in all things : superadding, if you like, " where no sin, lies;" for that is necessarily understood, and would not be more satisfactory if you printed the words in italics as long as a line of longitude. Many of these thoughts occurred to me in the No- vitiate, but I resisted them, treated them as " temp- tations." I listened to the conversations of our second-year novices, humbly seeking to be enlight- ened. Had they been vaore fervid in their sentiments, generally, doubtless they would have pleased me more. They were, however, always courteous, as, indeed, the rules require. They seemed for the most part to be the sons of the English gentry and nobility or titled families, but younger sons. There was, how- ever, no distinction as to rank or wealth. Punctu- • Consoientia erronea — qusE objectum aliter ac est, agaosoit. Cou- scieutia autem hujusmodi assolet jam invincibiliter, jam vincibilit^r eirare ! — says the accommodating Escobar. Lib. Theol. de Consc. Q 226 OPINIONS. ality, the spirit of the rules — ^obedience — these were the only distinctions in the Novitiate, and they re- dounded to individual credit with the heads of the Society. Whether in a climate different to that of Britain, a climate where the glow of a more ardent sun sends the blood in quicker motion through the veins, the physical temperament could be repressed as easily as in the austerity of a Novitiate in the north of Eng- land, is a question which I will certainly not answer in the affirmative. But still I see no reason to doubt the adaptability of means to ends by the Jesuits, in order to meet the obstacles of climate ; particularly in the matter of the second vow. Of the scrupulous purity of my own mind I have spoken. I could not possibly be expected to express an opinion of others in this matter otherwise than favourable. On the other hand, if any particular legislation presupposes crime, I say that the disgusting minuteness of several matters in the lecture on that vow, staggered my belief in the omnipotence of all rules and regulations against depraved nature. That lecture completely disgusted me — I shuddered as the Superior read it. I had nothing to write on the slate when we assem- bled for that purpose in the dormitory; and to my borror — I must speak the fact — to my horror, I say, the whole lecture was minutely repeated on the, fol- lowing day; and, to make the matter worse, the Su- perior sternly questioned the novice who stood before him as to passages which the latter seemed inclined OPINIONS. 227 to pass over ! There are subjects on which one must speak enigmatically: this is one ; and the reader must solve it to his own satisfaction. All special friendships — all preference for one "brother" more than -for another — were strictly pro- scribed. One day the Superior sent for me; he said, '• Brother, I wish to warn you. Brother seems inclined to court your society ; treat him coolly — avoid his conversation — until he learns to conform to the rules." Strange ! I actually felt an affection for the youth that very moment — I felt inclined to love him for his apparent love for me ! . . . . Of course, the " brother" was lectured for his misde- meanour; but I roust confess, /, at least, had not before been conscious that he had any extra affection for my poor self. I was at the time struggling with doubts, and this incident did not allay them. I com- plied as well as I could with the injunction, but from that day certainly felt more inclined to my '' admirer" than to any other " brother." It was only two or three months after, that I left Hodder, and the affec- tion thus sown by the Superior brought forth mutual tears as we parted — perhaps for ever — on that me- morable leave-taking which was publicly vouchsafed to me on my departure from the Novitiate. Truly, this last struggle was the greatest ; and, had not my mind, as it were, taken arms against my heart on that occasion, I know not how much longer I should have continued "a child of Ignatius." Such a public farewell was not given to any other novice that left — three left during my year — and I Q 2 228 OPINIONS. leave it to the Superiors to say what induced them to grant me that signal favour — that fevour which well nigh laid me at their mercy once more ! 'AA.A« Kai biavdaTri