35IS Cornell University Library PS 3515.A688A85 1919 Asssted by Sadle.a comedy of mystery In 3 1924 022 460 277 The original of tliis book is in tine Cornell University Library. There are no known copyright restrictions in the United States on the use of the text. http://www.archive.org/details/cu31924022460277 ^srasi-Sji^ iran^^ TT^- emtion'^ a^ Q>^jjwtea3y aji ley ^h^lterBenTlare 9; 5. 7)eni^jori &(jornf( Tubliihen • ChkanQ "Price SO Cent^ Zi MYSTERY THRILLERS Vhe Ghost Birct Mystery comedy in 4 acts, by Nin, E. Schaititeb; 6 m., 6 w. Time, 2%_\as. Scene : 1 interior. . A highly ^dramatic tale of the/uitravelihgrof a murder mys- tery, in which the wits of » super-crook a*e pitted Against the master mind of a cra'cls detective. Thrills in plenty. Roy- alty, ten dollars. Price, 30 Cents %e Red IhreadofGuiU ' Mystery drama in 4 acts, by Eeitest J. Sharpbteen ; 6 m., 3 yi. Tifitte,^ 2 lirs.- Scenes: 2 interiors. An . insignificant red laundry thread provides a clue to a tangled mutder mystery and leads- to a chain of exciting events, during which sus- picion Jf alls upop every character. Ends in an unexpected solution. Royalty,- ten dollars. , Price, 50 Cents TlOUSEo/a THOU^ANDTHRIlb^ hAIR-RfilSING MYETER' 7Ae House of a Ihmsmd IhrSk Mystery drama in prologue and 3 acts, by Leslie Chadwick BaowirnTo; 6 m., 6 w. Time, 2% hrs. Scenes: 2 interiors. 7 Mysterious , rappings, strange lightsy stealthy footsteps fill the Carlton> house with terror. A girl sleuth and a writer of detective stories, though balked by schem- ^ ers in the ' household^ expose the mystery. Royalty, ten dojlars. Price, 50 Cents T. S.DEI>JlSOrM ^ C01viF=WtN|-v Publishers 623 ^ou+Ki Wat>as(-i >>«.>•«.' Ci-i !C:.^<.<3 G4SSISTED BY SADIE ASSISTED BY SADIE A Comedy of Mystery in Four Acts Guaranteed Under the Pure Fun Laws BY Walter Ben Hare AUTHOR OF "And Home Came Ted," "A College Towu." "An Early Bird," "Kicked Out of College," "Macbelh a la Mode," "Mrs. Tubbs of Shantytown," "My Irish Rose," "An Old Fashioned Mother," "A PoorMarried Man," "A Rustic Romeo," "Savageland," "A Southern Cinderella," "The White Christmas and Other Merry Christmas Plays," etc. CHICAGO S. DENISON & COMPANY Publishers ^Ru. ^^^ UKiVlfUb! IMPORTANT WARNING HE ACTING RIGHTS of this play, under whatever title performed, are fully protected by author's and publish- er's rights and copyright, and all in- fringements wiU be prosecuted. For AMATEUR presentation, whether admis- sion is charged or not, a royalty fee of ten ($10.00) dollars for each performance must be paid in advance to the publishers, T. S. Denison & Company, 623 S. Wabash Avenue, Chicago, 111. For PROFESSIONAL terms, apply to the pub- lishers. ••s^ '^i>' ^^ The purchase or possession of this book conveys no right whatever for the performance of the play, public or private, for gain or for charity. Performance of any nature is strict- ly forbidden, under full protection of the Copyright Law, unless duly licensed by the copyright owner or his author- ized agents. Violations of the Copyright Law are punish- able by fine, or imprisonment, or both, and anyone partici- pating in an unauthorized performance is guilty of infringe- ment. The play may be presented by amateurs upon pay- ment of the stated royalty in advance to the Publishers for each performance, whose royalty receipt serves as h per- forming license. The following notice must appear on all programs: "Produced by special arrangement with T. S. Denison & Company of Chicago." "vl^ '*0 <^ COPYRIGHT, 1919, BY WALTER BEN HARE MADE IN U. S. A. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED Assisted by Sadie , , ASSIST ED BY SADIE A Comedy in Four Acts for Six Men and Six Women. CHARACTERS. Alonzo Dow The Mystery Michael Cameron The Detective Colonel Jennivee The Manager Reginal Null The Millionaire Doctor Beedle The Professor Bunch The Bellboy Sadie Beady The Stenographer Mrs. C. Christopher Carley The Dowager Harriet Carley The Stepdaughter Senoea Gonzales The Adventuress Vicky Vaughan The Debutante Mes. Quinn , The Maid Several Guests. Time — The Present. Place — A Fashionable Seaside Hotel. Act I. The Ladies' Lounge at the Oceanic Hotel. An afternoon in August. Who stole the pearls.? Act II. Same scene at 8 :30 p. m. The ball. Who put out the lights? Act III. Mr. Dow's room on the eighth floor. Who was the crook? Act IV. Next morning in the Ladies' Lounge. Whom did Sadie Assist? Time of Playing — Two and One-half Hours. 5 ASSISTED BY SADIE THE STORY OF THE PLAY. Mystery, adventure, humor and romance are mixed in equal parts in this gay, whimsical comedy. It is written in Mr. Hare's characteristic vigor of style, strength of characterization and with the background of verisimilitude that makes his mystery plays so plausible. The many twists and turns of the orig- inal plot keep the audience in a constant state of wonder and the story is told with a keen sense of humor and a mounting tensity of emotion. Harriet Carley, a young society girl, the step- daughter of a proud old dowager, has fallen into the clutches of a Spanish adventurer and his wife and, to aid them, claims to have had a valuable pearl neck- lace stolen when in reality she had hidden it hoping to realize its value from the insurance company. Mrs. C. Christopher Carley, her stepmother, sus- pects that the robbery has been committed by Alonzo Dow, a gay young millionaire in the hotel, basing her suspicions on the fact that his handkerchief has been found in the room. The manager of the hotel hires a detective to find the thief and when Mrs. Car- ley tries to offer him the handkerchief as evidence she finds it has been stolen from her purse. Sadie Brady, a slangy good-natured stenographer in the hotel, determines to investigate the robbery herself and is much impressed by the suspected Mr. Dow. Sadie is a very winning heroine with plenty of snap and go, a real and interesting young woman posing as an illiterate stenographer when she is in reality the investigating agent of the Insurance Company. Cameron, the detective, is completely bafiled by the suavity of Mr. Dow and suspicion begins to rest on the unctuous Dr. Beedle, a college ASSISTED BY SADIE professor of Moral Philosophy. The second act occurs the night of a grand ball at the hotel and the thief is hard at work rifling the rooms of the merrymakers. Sadie 'wrings a confession from Har- riet that the necklace was not really stolen, but when Harriet tries to find it she discovers that it is missing. As a climax to the mysteries of the second act, Mrs. Quinn, the quaint Irish maid, announces that Dr. Beedle has committed suicide. This proves to be a mistake, however, as the good doctor has only been chloroformed and his room rifled. The third act occurs in Mr. Dow's room where he is cleverly trapped by Sadie and the detec- tive, but manages to elude them and makes his es- cape. In the last act Sadie succeeds in establishing Dow's innocence and fixing the crime on Cameron, the detective, who is the real culprit. The slangy little bellboy, the Irish maid, the droR Mr. Dow and the vapid Mr. Null assist in the comedy scenes. LIST OF PROPERTIES. Act I. Piano. Duet stool. Piano lamp. Long settle. Small desk. Knitting bag on desk. Desk chair. Fancy table. Five fancy chairs. Typewriter on desk. Magazine on desk. Four glasses of iced tea on table. Note book and pencil for Sadie. ASSISTED BY SADIE Large box supposed to contain flowers. Large box supposed to contain candy. Bed spread, comforts and pillow for Mrs. Quinn. Silver dollar for Null. Wallet and dime for Beedle. Five-cent piece and five pennies for Sadie. Small purse for Sadie. Man's handkerchief for Mrs. Carley. Similar handkerchiefs for Dow and Cameron. Bag for Mrs. Carley. Act II. Dance programs. Flash light for Bunch. Act III. Bedroom furniture. Traveling bag. Shirts and wallet in bag. Box of cigars for Bunch. Silver quarter for Dow. Flash light for Sadie. Revolver for Sadie. Act IV. Dime for Cameron. Telegram on tray for Bunch. Handcuffs and revolver for Sadie. COSTUMES AND CHARACTERS. Dow — Good looking man of about 23. Ultra fashionable clothes. Afternoon costume in Act I. Evening clothes in Act II. Evening clothes and smoking jacket in Act III. Morning clothes in Act IV. ASSISTED BY SADIE Michael — A burly man, aged 40. Mustadie. Business suits in Acts I and IV, evening clothes in Acts III and II. Jenniver — Aged 50. White wig and mustache. Eyeglasses. Costumes similar to those worn by Michael. Null — ^Aged 20. Costumes similar to those worn by Alonzo. Eyeglass. Beedle — Aged 56. Tall and thin. Longish black hair, side whiskers and bushy eyebrows. Large spec- tacles. Clerical clothes. Evening dress in Act II. Bunch — Aged 15. Neat uniform and cap. Sadie — Simple working dresses in Acts I, III and IV. Pretty, simple party dress in Act II. Mrs. Carley — Aged 55. White hair. Lorgnettes. Commanding voice. Handsome wardrobe, not too somber. Harriet— Aged 20. Well dressed and well groomed throughout the play. Senora — A dazzling brunette. Flashy jet jew- elry. Vivid colors. Vicky — ^Aged 18. Hair In curls. Attractive dresses. Mrs. Quinn — Aged 40. Hair parted and combed over ears very plain. Maid's dress. Note: The word Senora should be pronounced in Spanish fashion, "sane-yora," with the accent on the second syllable. The name Reggie should be pronounced Rejjie. 10 ASSISTED BY SADIE SCENE PLOT Acts I, II and IV Stairs ^ Centci-Entrance ISlLamp ' Risht Door ^ \ \C\stool I Table HrLi □ Piaao left Door ChairD ' Desk' CIvairO yOSwitch Right Door ChairD /Dresser Act III TZ Window Desk aChair Bed \ Left Door STAGE DIRECTIONS. R. means right of stage ; C, center ; R. C, right center ; L., left ; 1 E„ first entrance ; U. E., upper entrance ; R. 3 E., right entrance, up stage, etc. ; up stage, away from footlights; down stage, near footlights. The actor is supposed to be facing ^ihe audience. ASSISTED BY SADIE The Fiest Act. Scene : The Ladies' Lounge at the Oceanic, a fash- Mnahle seaside hotel. There is a large doorway center, at the back, that leads into a hallway, in which a flight of stairs may be visible. Single doors at right and left with interior backings be- yond. Elaborate boxed interior setting with fui nishings in the latest style. Gilt furniture and satin draperies are recommended. A piano is in the center of the stage. It is placed in such a position that the player is facing the lower right corner of the stage, nearest the audience. A long settle stands back to ba^k with the piano. Tall lamp and stool near the piano. Small desk down L. placed in such a position that one seated at the desk faces the left wall. Typewriter on desk. Small desk chair in front of the desk and another chair by the desk faces the audience. Fancy table with four chairs down R, Other furniture as de- sired. Discoveeed; Sadie Beady seated at the desk writ- ing in a note-book. Doctor Beedle seated near her dictating to her from his notes. Hareiet Caeley seated at the piano in a preoccupied man- ner. Reginald Null seated on the settle staring into space just above the heads of the audience. Senora Gonzales and three extra ladies seated at the table down R. engaged in drinking iced tea and in an animated discussion. A large box of 11 12 ASSISTED BY SADIE ' flowers, a top hat, a cane and a pair of gloves are on the settle near Null. He holds a huge box of candy. The curtain rises without music. Lights: Stage lights are not lighted as it is only Jp p. m. in late August. Footlights, sides and bor- ders on full. Bunch of yellow shines on the C. E. from rear L. No light changes during the act. Senora. {As the curtain rises.) And she seemed just as pleased with his attentions as could be. And everyone in the hotel knows she's been married twice. One husband's buried in Cali- fornia and the other is in Philadelphia. She says she's a grass widow, but I have my doubts. (Ladies talk animatedly in pantomime.) Bunch enters from C. E. Bunch. (Paging.) Call for Mr. Dow. (Comes down C.) Call for Mr. Alonzo Dow. (Down R.) Call for Mr. Dow, please. Mr. Dow! (To R. door.) Mr. Alonzo Dow, please. Colonel Jenniver enters from R. Jenniver. Bunch. Yes, sir? ^ Jenniver. Go down to the office and tell the clerk that when Mr. Cameron comes he is to be sent to my private office immediately. _ Bunch. Yes, sir. Mr. Cameron? ASSISTED BY SADIE 13 Jenniver. Yes. Mr. Michael Cameron. And tell the clerk that the fans on the eighth floor are not working. Bunch. Yes, sir. {Exits at R. Jenniver crosses to L. and exits.) Beedle. {Who has been dictating to Sadie in pantomime up to this point.) The consensus of modem opinion is overwhelm- ingly in favor of — (he is interrupted). Mrs. Carley has entered at the beginning of his speech from C. E. accompanied by an Extra Lady, who is speaJcing to her in pantomime. They come Mrs. Carley. (Loudly, interrupting Beedle.) Two clubs ! My dear, I never bid two clubs except as a signal. Whenever I say two clubs that means I want you to make it no-trump. Understand? (Sees Senora.) Oh, Seiiora, here you are. (Mrs. Carley joins the group at R. Her companion joins Harriet at the piano.) Beedle. (Annoyed by the interruption.) Did you get that last sentence.'' Sadie. I'll say I did. (Reads her notes.) The consensus of modem opinion is overwhelmingly in favor of two clubs. Beedle. No, no! Sadie. What's the matter? 14 ASSISTED BY SADIE Beedle. I said nothing about two clubs. Kindly delete the ''l"^- Sadie. (Draws a lime through the words.) The clubs are deleted. ( The ladies at the R. have been talking in animated pantomime during the preceding lines. Now one of the Extra Ladies rises and crosses to Haekiet at the piano. Mks. Cakley takes her seat.) Mas. Caeley. I wonder if we have time for a game of bridge be- fore the bus comes.'' _, « SENORA. {Looks at her watch.) No, it's due in fifteen minutes. Mrs. Quinn enters from L. carrying a roll of com- forts in her arms and a pillow in her teeth. She crosses to R. ,, „ Mrs. Carley. Oh, maid! Maid! (Mrs. Quinn comes down R. C. and makes unintelligible sounds. )I want you to find Colonel Jenniver and tell him that the electric fan in my room won't work. (Extra Ladies at piano stroll out C. E.) Mrs. Quinn. (^Speaks several unintelligible sentences.) Mrs. Carley. I shall certainly have to go to another hotel if 1 can't have an electric fan. I've reported it twice ^' Mrs. Quinn. (Drops the pillow.) Yis, mum. The manager knows all about it, mum. ASSISTED BY SADIE 15 And it will be fixed almost imadiately, mum, if not sooner. (Picks up pilloio and crosses to R. door.) Mrs. Carley, Colonel Jenniver should give these little details his personal attention. I'm sure he charges enough for his rooms. (Talk in pantomime to ladies. Mrs. QuiNN eivits at R.) Beedle. ( Who has been dictating in pantomime. ) In favor of the knack of perseverance. Sadie. (Now writing on the typewriter.) Perseverance. _ Beedle. (Looking at her copy.) There should be a "k" in knack, Miss Brady. Sadie. There is. (Points.) That little thing on the end is a "k." (Spells.) N-a-c-k, knack. Beedle, No, no! (Spells.) K-n-a-c-k. Sadie. (With a prolonged "o.") Ohh! (Slight pause, looks at him roguishly.) You know I thought that didn't look right. I wonder why they don't pronounce it k-nack.'' Beedle. (Smiling at her.) The initial "k" is silent, Miss Brady. Sadie. Yes, that's what I gather. Silent, just like in giraffe. 16 ASSISTED BY SADIE Beedle. I think you may take the rest in your note-book and transcribe it later. (Dictates.) Now for an il- lustration let us take (pauses, trying to think) — Sadie. Let us take what, Doctor Beedle.? Beedle. I'm not quite sure. Let me see! What animal would you say was closest to man, Miss Brady.' (Tries to think, looking up.) Sadie. (Also looks up trying to think.) Closest to man. Ummm, let me see! Oh, I know. The flea. Beedle. Oh, no. Not at all. Not at all ! We will take the ^* Sadie. (Writing.) Not the flea, but the dog. (They continue busimess in pantomime.) Cakley (To SeSora.) Wliatever is that typist doing in here.'' Senora. They are using her office as a conservatory for the ball tonight. ,, „ Mrs. Carley. Oh. (Harriet absently runs her fingers over the piano keys.) Harriet! I wish you wouldn't drum so on that piano. I can't hear myself think. (Turns to Senora.) They say quite a lot of new arrivals are expected for the ball. I don't see where they are going to put them. Every room in the hotel is taken, I believe. ASSISTED BY SADIE 17 Enter Bunch from R, Null. {Moving for the first time, speaks as Bunch passes.) Oh, ah, boy! Bunch. {At Ms side.) Yessir? Null. Did you page Miss Vaughan for me? Bunch. She is still in her room, Mr. Null. She said she was sorry to keep you waiting, and that she'd be right down. Null. Oh, ah — that.'s good. She's — er — aw — putting on her hat, eh? Bunch. Hat.'' Hat? Say, she ain't got as far as her shoes ^''- Null. Oh. (Gives a long sigh.) Very well. (Resumes his former attitude.) Bunch. I'll tell the maid to hurry her up. (Starts to R.) Null. Oh, ah, boy! Bunch. (Slides to him.) Right at you. Null. These flowers. (Hands him box of flowers.) Bunch. Sure. For Mis.'i Vaughan? 18 ASSISTED BY SADIE Null. (Drawls.) Of course. (Ladies at table watch this scene, registering amusement.) Bunch. Null. And this box. (Hands Mm the fancy boa: of Yessir And candy.) Oh, boy! Bunch. (Admiring it.) Null. And kindly ask her to hurry. It's nearly time for the bus to be in. Bunch. Yessir. Is that all, Mr. Null? Null. Quite. (Tips him and resumes former attitude.) Bunch. (Looks at the dollar tip.) Quite! Thank you, sir. (Crosses to door at R., holds dollar up, looks at it lovingly.) Oh, boy ! (Ex- its at R.) Mrs. Carley. That's Mr. Null, isn't it? Senora. Yes, Reggy Null. He's a perfect dear, but just as null as his name. His father is in oil and vinegar in Rochester. Mrs. Carley. (Shocked.) In oil and Arinegar? Mercy, what for? ASSISTED BY SADIE 19 Senoba. It's his occupation. Mrs. Carley. Oh. I thought it was some new treatment for somethine:. r^ ~ SENOBA. He's waiting for Vicky Vaughan. Mes. Cabley. I wonder if they're engaged.'' Senoba. They must be. She treats him hke a human slave. Beedle. That will be all for this afternoon, Miss Brady. Sadie. (Gives a long, audible sigh of relief.) Beedle. I think I'll make that last sentence the end of Chapter Six. (, That's a good idea. (Rises.) I'll have it ready for you in the morning. Beeble. (Rises.) Thank you. (Comes down R. C.) Oh, er, Miss Brady! (Looks in his wallet.) Sadie. BsEDIiE. Er — ^have you change for a dime.' Sadie. (Looks in her purse.) A dime's about my limit? How do you want it.' (Slight pause.) Two nickels? 20 ASSISTED BY SADIE Beeble. (Seriously.) No, if it is all the same to you, I think I'll take one nickel and the rest in small change. Sadie. Small change? (Looks at him a moment, laughs, hands him a nickel and five pennies.) Beedle. Thank you. I want to bestow a slight gratuity on the elevator boy. _ •' Sadie. (To the audience.) Slight is right. _ ° ° Beedle. (Smiling at her.) We can begin on the seventh chapter in the morn- ing. (Crosses to C, down stage, then turns to Sadie again.) That will be satisfactory? Sadie. (Down L.) Beedle. Thank you. (Backs up C. and bumps into Null.) Oh, I beg pardon. I beg your pardon. So stupid of me. (Sadie exits at R. quietly.) Null. (Startled, puts eyeglass in eye and looks at Beedle.) Oh — er — ah not at all, not at all. Beedle. (Bowing and smiling at Null, backs to door at R.) You know I'm a little near-sighted. I hope I didn't disturb you, Mr. Null, Sometimes I am so absent minded. ASSISTED BY SADIE 2i Enter Mrs. Quinn from R. carrying bedspread held up m front of her. Beedle hacks into her, Mrs. Quinn. Fer the love of Mike ! Beedle. Oh, I beg your pardon. RealJy, I do. How clumsy I am. ,, „ •' Mrs. Quinn. Sure, there's no damage done at all, at all. Beedle. . I'm so fearfully near-sighted. Mrs. Quinn. Sure, that's no wonder at all. Ivery one is near- sighted when they're walking backwards like a crab, they are. {Crosses to L. and exits at L.) Beedle exits at C. E. as Vicky Vaughan enters from the R. with a rush. Vicky, Hello, Reggy. Wasn't I an old fumbler to keep you waiting so long? But I couldn't help it. I couldn't get my complexion on straight. Null. {^Brightens at her entrance, rises and shakes hands with her ceremoniously.') Er — aw, not at all. Not at all. Vicky. (Slipping her arm through his.) The candy was celestial — and those roses ! (Squeezes his arm.) Oh, Reggie, you're the nicest ""^^^ Null. Not at all. Not at all. (They move toward the C. E.) 22 ASSISTED BY SADIE Vicky. (Seeing Habriet.) Oh, Miss Carley. ^t Harriet. {Turns toward Vicky.) Yes? ,, Vicky. You won't forget about the moonlight sail tonight. Mrs. Carley. Moonlight sail.'' What moonlight sail."" Vicky. Mr. Null is going to have a little sailing party after the ball. ,, _ Mrs. Larley. And {slight pause) who are the guests. J" Vicky. Mrs. Doran is going to chaperone and Colonel Jenniver. Harriet and Mr. Dow and Reggie and I make up the rest of the party. Mrs. Carley. Mr. Dow.? Vicky. Yes, he has the room next to yours. Mr. Alonzo Dow. You're coming, aren't you. Miss Carley.'' Mrs. Carley. Oh, I couldn't allow Harriet to be out on the water so late at night. She hasn't been well lately. Harriet. Mrs. Carley evidently does not approve of the company. ^^^^ Why not.? What's the matter with the company.' Mrs. Carley. It's this Mr. Dow. No one knows anything about him. ASSISTED BY SADIE 23 Vicky. I know all about him. He's good looking, has nice manners, dresses well and has plenty of money. He's the only guest at the Oceanic this year who arrived in a private car. ^.^ ^ Null. Why, I came over in my car, you know. Vicky. I don't mean a motor car. I mean a private car on the train. I think Mr. Dow is a dear. He's from Connecticut and has a valet and is a bachelor. What more do you want.'' Mrs. Carley. One cannot be too careful, my dear. Why only last year there was a perfectly delightful young man at the Claredge and he was received everywhere — and he turned out to be a thief. Harriet. Mrs. Carley! ,^ ^ Mrs. Carley. Well, he did. Of course, Harriet, I'm only your stepmother, but I certainly protest against your as- sociating with this Mr. Dow. ■ Harriet. Very well. {Turns away to conceal emotion.) Vicky. Harriet, I'm awfully sorry — Harriet. Oh, it's all right. I'm not at all well. Vicky. {At rear C, turning to Mrs. Carley at R.) And I'm sure Mr. Alonzo Dow won't turn out to be anything more dramatic than a perfect gentle- 24 ASSISTED BY SADIE man. Why, he couldn't! He has the best looking nose! Come, Reggy! (Sweeps out C. E. zdth Null.) Mrs. Cakley. (Fanning.) Oh, I'm all upset. I'm all upset. Senora. (Rises.) You evidently don't like Mr. Dow, Mrs. Carley. Mrs. Carley. Well, if you knew all about him as I do, you wouldn't like him either. (Extra Ladies rise.) Senora. Shall we go down to the beach.'' (Crosses to C. E. with the two extra ladies.) Mrs. Carley. (Rises.) Yes, it's almost time for the bus. (Crosses to '' Senora. Oh, I hope there will be plenty of new men for the ball tonight. (Exits C. E. with the Extra Ladies.) Mrs. Carley. Harriet, aren't you going down to the beach? Harriet. (Crosses to settle.) No, I have a headache. (Sits on settle.) Mrs. Carley. (Comes down R. a little.) That's always the way when I want you to do anything. ASSISTED BY SADIE 25 Haueiet. {With a burst of emotion.) Oh, I wish you would go away. I want to be left alone. (More subdued.) I'm not well. Mrs. Cakley. (Down R.) What's the matter with you? Haeeiet. I want to be alone. Mes. Cauley. You want a doctor, that's what you want. You are angry because I wouldn't allow you to go out on that sailing party tonight. Haeeiet. Mes. Caeley. The idea of Mr. Null taking up with that Dow person, and Miss Vaughan, too. I can't understand it. After all the hints I've given them, too. Haeeiet. You have no right to talk about Mr. Dow the way you do. He isn't a thief. Mes. Caeley. I didn't say he was. Haeeiet. You implied it. Mrs. Caeley. I have a perfect right to imply what I please. I can't see why you set yourself up as his champion. (Crosses to R. of table.) Harriet. I am not his champion, only you have no proof that he stole my necklace. 26 ASSISTED BY SADIE Mrs. Carley. Proof? I have circumstantial evidence. Isn't that enough.'' You saw him lurking in the hall the night your pearls disappeared. Harriet. I simply saw him go into his own room. Sadie enters from L. unobserved and comes down to piano, listening. Mrs. Carley. The very fact that he asked the desk clerk to give him the room next to our apartment is sufficient. Harriet. He wanted a room with a fire escape. Mrs. Carley. Yes, a room with a balcony leading to your room. And he made the request after he had seen your neck- lace. ^^ Harriet. You are unjust. Mrs. Carley. I am your stepmother and I intend to look after your interests. ^^ Harriet. I cannot think of Mr. Dow as a thief. Mrs. Carley. I don't come right out and say he's a thief, but I'll think what I please. Your pearls didn't walk off of their own accord. Harriet. {Rises.) ' Please don't say anything more about them. Half the hotel is beginning to suspect now that something is wrong. {Comes down L. of table.) I won't have it made known. I won't. I'll not have the publicity. ASSISTED BY SADIE 27 Mrs. Carley. I don't care if all the hotel suspects. Your neck- lace was stolen and the thief is probably still in the house. If it had been mine I would have had the detectives and the police here inside of an hour. Harriet. Colonel Jenniver is conducting an examination. You know that. Mrs. Carley. And what does it amount to.? The pearls were taken Monday night and it's now Thursday. I think Jt is high time someone did something. Harriet. I'll not have my name dragged into the newspa- pers. The pearls are gone and the Insurance Com- pany will have to make good the loss, that's all. Mrs. Carley. I can't see why they don't investigate the matter. Harriet. I told their agent that I would consent to no pub- Mrs. Carley. Then the thief is to be allowed to run at large, I suppose? Why, none of us are safe. I think Colonel Jenniver should search Dow's room. Harriet. I tell you Mr. Dow is not the thief. Mrs. Carley. And I tell you that you know nothing about it. How do you know he isn't ? You've only known him a week. If Colonel Jenniver doesn't take some ac- tion at once I'm going to notify the police. 28 ASSISTED BY SADIE Habeiet. Please leave this affair in my hands. Mrs. Cari,ey. You seem completely fascinated by the man. Harriet. I scarcely know him by sight. Mrs. Carle y. Then why are you so sure that he is innocent.'' Harriet. Because you have no evidence. Not the faintest Mrs. Carley. I'm not so sure about that. Harriet. (Startled.) What do you mean? Have you found anything? Mrs. Carley. (Takes a man's handkerchief from her bag and shows it.) You don't generally use handkerchiefs like that, do you? ^^ Harriet. I don't know what you mean. Mrs. Carley. I found it under the rug by your dressing table. (Harriet tries to take the handkerchief, but Mrs. Carley quickly puts it behind her.) Harriet. Give it to me. .,, _ Mrs. Carley. ( Triumphantly. ) Oh, no. This is evidence. It may lead to the thief. ASSISTED BY SADIE 29 Harriet. Someone may have dropped it. A maid, I mean. Mrs. Carlby. Maids don't carry gentlemen's handkerchiefs. This handkerchief belongs to Alonzo Dow. Harriet. Why do you think so.'' Mrs. Carlby. It is the kind he always carries. Harriet. Mr. Null carries the same kind. Mrs. Carley. Mr. Null is not under suspicion. Harriet. And neither is Mr. Dow. Mrs. Carley. We shall see. I am going to give this clue to Colonel Jenniver and then if he does not take some measure to protect his guests I'm going to appeal to the police. ' "^ Harriet. Why not leave the whole thing in the hands of the Insurance Company? They have to make good the loss, let them find the thief. (Sadie slips out at L.) Mrs. Carlby. I tell you no one is safe here at the hotel. This case needs — Enter Michael Cameron from R., followed by Bunch. ti Bunch. Colonel Jenniver's office is over here, Mr. Cam- eron. (Exits at L.) (Cameron glances at the ladies and then exits at L.) 30 ASSISTED BY SADIE Mrs. Carley. I wonder if he is a detective. Harriet. I don't know who he is. Enter Bunch from L. Bunch. {Coming down by piano.) Miss Carley, the Colonel wants to see you in his private office, if convenient. Harriet. Why certainly. Caeley {To Harriet.) I told you so. {To Bunch.) Tell Colonel Jenni- ver we'll be there right away. Bunch. The Colonel said he wanted to see Miss Carley alone, please. ,, ^ Mrs. Carley. {Indignantly.) Well! Bunch. You see, lady, it's a little private business. (Har- riet exits at L.) Mrs. Carley. Is that man Cameron a detective.'' Bunch. Search me. , _ „ Mrs. Carley. He- must be. _ Bunch. They didn't take me into their confidence. All the boss says was to find Miss Carley and tell her to come to the office alone. That's all I know. ASSISTED BY SADIE 31 Mrs. Carley. {Crosses to C. E.) Well, I hope he'll catch the thief. Did Colonel Jenniver send for Mr. Dow, boy? Bunch. Naw. What's he got to do with it.? Mrs. Carley. That remains to be seen. Bunch. Mr. Dow ain't a crook. He's an ace, he is. Why he gives me a tip every time I look at him. Mrs. Carley exits C. E. and Sadie enters from L. Sadie. Hello, Bunch. Bunch. {Acts bashful.) Gosh, Miss Sadie, I didn't hear you come in. Sadie. I just took my notes down to Miss Levy in the office. She's going to type them for me. (Goes to her desk.) Bunch. (Follows her.) Why, ain't you familiar with the typewriter.? Sadie. I've met several of 'em in my time, but I ain't never familiar with nobody. Bunch. Say, Miss Sadie, er — er — Sadie. Don't err so much. Shoot straight ahead. Bunch. How would you like to go to the picture show with me tonight ? 32 ASSISTED BY SADIE Sadie. Oh, Bunchy, I'm awful sorry, but mommer don'1 allow me to go out with strange young men. Bunch. Say, quit kiddin' me. I ain't no strange young man. _ Sadie. Honest, Bunch, I'd like to go, but I can't. I'lr going to come over here and rubber at the ball. Maybe I'll have to help Miss Levy read my notes. She'll never make them out all by herself. Bunch. How would you like me to come and help you.'' Sadie. Fine. Say this is an awful swell hotel, ain't it; It beats any place I ever worked clear off the side- walk. I'll bet it's expensive. Bunch. I'll say it is. Why it costs you four dollars to get from the front door to the desk. Sadie. What's the big excitement in the manager's officer Bunch. I dunno fer sure, but I got a hunch it's a detec- tive after a thief. _ Sadie. Mercy! Do you have thieves here at the hotel.'' Bunch. Not often, but some one slipped off with Miss Car- ley's twenty thousand dollar pearl necklace last Mon- day night. ^^^^ They did? Who was it.? ASSISTED BY SADIE 33 Bunch. That's what we're all tryin' to find out. It wasn't Mr. Dow, though. Sadie. Who's Mr. Dow.? Bunch. He's the billion dollar baby up on the eighth floor. Ain't you seen him yet."* Say, he's a di'mond, he is. Tips.? Oh, boy! Sadie. Do they think Mr. Dow lifted the necklace? Bunch. Oh, old lady Carley's got some crazy notion about him, just because they seen him in the hall the night the pearls was pulled. He had a perfect right to be in the hall, didn't he .'' His room is right next to Miss Carley's. But you take it from me, he ain't no crook; he's a prince, he is. Sadie. Well, who do you think took the pearls? Bunch. I dunno. The Colonel's up against it. If it gets out it'll mean over the hills to the poor-house fer us, fer every guest in the hotel will hit the home trail quicker'n scat. I guess this Cameron's a plain clothes man. Sadie. Cameron ? Bunch. "Yeah. He's the guy in the manager's office. The Colonel sent fer Miss Carley, too. I suppose I'll have to go on the stand myself. Sadie. You? 34 ASSISTED BY SADIE Bunch, Sure. I was on duty Tuesday morning when the old dame discovered that the pearls was took, Sadie. What did she do? „ JiUNCH. She let out a squawk you could a heard ten miles out to sea, then she fainted. After they'd sprinkled her face and rubbed her wrists and poured a couple o' fingers of brandy into her — she revives, takes an- other look at the empty jewel box, lets out another yell and is off again. „ Sadie. What did young Miss Carley do? Bunch. She didn't do nuthin'. She jest looked kinda dazed like. You'd a thunk she'd a been the one to have the fit seein' they was her pearls. Sadie. My, it's just hke a detective film, or a novel. I wisht I'd a been here. I didn't know there was an opening fer a live stenographer here until Tuesday night and I got the job Wednesday morning. (Sighs.) I always miss everything. Bunch. I gotta go down and see about the electric fans on the eighth floor. I've had five million calls about them fans already. (Crosses to R.) I'll see you at the ball tonight. Maybe we can shake a foot in here if there ain't nobody lookin'. Sadie. Yes, and get fired. _, Bunch. Don't you worry about gettin' fired. If I'd wear a stripe every time I've been fired me sleeves would ASSISTED BY SADIE 35 look like a barber pole. I'll see you later. (^Exits '^ Sadie. {Takes pink knitting from desk, crosses to settle and sits there knitting.) Knit six, scallop six, skip and purl. Three, four, five, six. Scallop six — four, five, six — skip and purl. Knit six, scallop six, skip and purl. (Counts in a whisper, moving her head.) Alonzo Dow enters from C. E., crosses briskly to desk, picks up magazine, sits and reads. From his point of vantage Sadie is entirely invisible. This should be noted in arranging the furniture for the scene. Slight pause, Sadie counting in a whisper and knitting rapidly and Dow looking at the maga- ^*"^- Sadie. {Louder.) One, two, three, four, five, six — skip and purl. Dow. {Starts, looks around, sees nothing and resumes his reading.) Sadie. {Louder.) Knit six, scallop six, skip and purl. Dow. {Clears his throat audibly.) Sadie. Just a moment, Bunchie. I'm at a very critical stage. Three, four, five, six — skip and purl. {Knits rapidly.) ^^^ {Crosses to piano, sits and plays the chorus of "Over There" with one finger, trying to find proper keys he grimaces, etc.) 36 ASSISTED BY SADIE Sadie. Cut out the music, Bunch. I'm busy. (Dow plays louder. Sadie gets on her Tenses on the settle and peers over the top of the piano. At the same time Dow rises and peers over the top, their noses almost touching.) Both. Oh, I beg your pardon. (Slight pause, long enough for each to coimt four.) Don't mention it. (Resume former places.) Dow. (Plays the chorus of "Over There" with one finger and sings the words.) Sadie. ( Who has been knitting and counting to herself during the singing, now shows marked impatierwe and remarks rather loudly.) Four, five, six — knit six-^— three, four, five, six- scallop six — four, five, six. (Loudly.) Skip! (not so loud) and purl. _. (Rises and peers down at her over the top of the piano.) I hope I am not annoying you. Sadie. (Loudly.) Skip! (slight pause, then softer) and purl. Dow. I don't think I can purl. Sadie. «^^P' Dow. Oh, I can do that all right. ASSISTED BY SADIE 37 Sadie. {^Paying no attention to him, knitting rapidly.) Three, four, five, six. Scallop six. Dow. Scallop six.'' Oh, very well. (Crosses to L., imi- tating a tough waiter giving an order, hand to mouth.) Scallop six, a couple of sinkers and a cup o' coffee. (Goes to Sadie.) How do you want the six scalloped.? On the shell, or with or without.? Sadie. (Rises haughtily.) 1 beg your pardon! Dow. (Backs to the piano stool and then sinks on it.) I beg your pardon. (Plays one chord on piano.) Just like that. „ Sadie. (Resumes her knitting.) Three, four, five, six and purl. (She drops her ball of yarn.) Oh! (Gets down on her knees looking for it.) I've lost my yam. Dow. Allow me. (Gets down on his knees.) (They crawl on their knees until they meet at C. He gives her the yarn.) Sadie. (Smiles.) Oh, thank you so much. Dow. Oh, don't mention it. (They arise.) Haven't I seen your face before somewhere? Sadie. (Glancing up at Mm roguishly.) It's generally before somewhere. 38 ASSISTED BY SADIE Dow. (Nonplussed.) Sadie. Don't mention it. ^ Dow. ■ (At L. C.) My name is Dow. _ •' Sadie. (At C.) I'm just plain Sadie Brady. Dow. Nothing plain about you. Sadie. Father says I'm an awfully plain cook. Dow. Will I see you at the ball tonight, Miss Brady.? Sadie. Not me. ^ Dow. You don't care for dancing.? Sadie. Dancing is my middle name, but I'm not a guest here. _ Dow. No.? Sadie. I'm one of the stenographers. Dow. Oh. Sadie. Of course that makes all the difference in the world. ^ Dow. It makes it all the jollier. ASSISTED BY SADIE 39 Sadie. Jollier is the right word. Dow. Do you know I think I have some work for you. Yes, I'm sure I have. Sadie. {Crosses to desk, sits, puts paper in machine, pulls carriage to right, then gives a slight exclamation of pain.) Oh ! Dow. {Hurries to her.) What's the matter.'' Sadie. I've pricked my finger. {Feels in pocket.) And I've forgotten my handkerchief. (Dow gives her his handkerchiefs a white one with a tiny blue border, exactly like the one formerly displayed by Mrs. Caeley.) Oh, I can't take yours. {Looks at it closely.) It's pretty, ain't it.!* Dow. ( Who has been gazing in her eyes.) Awfully pretty. ^^^^^ I meant the handkerchief. Dow. Oh, of course. I always carry that kind. Sadie. My finger is all right now. I don't need it. Dow. Sure.? „ Sadie. Sure. Now about that dictation. What do you want me to write for you.? 40 ASSISTED BY SADIE Dow. I'm going to write a book. Yes, a history of ray travels. Philosophy and history combined. I'm a sort of a kind of a philosopher, you know. I'm going to put it all in my book, and I'll get you tp write it for me. „ SADIE. What do you mean philosophy? Dow. Oh, I answer all abstruse questions, you know. What is life and what is love and all that sort of thing. _ . ^ Sadie. And do you know the answer.? Dow. Sure. That is, I know it as well as any one else. Sadie. Well, shoot ! I'm all ready. Dow. Let me see. (Thinks.) You may start. "What is Sadie. All right. I've got that. Dow. Life is — (pauses) — life is — (looks up, thinking. Sadie looks at him, then looks up to see what he is looking at.) Enter Jenniver from L. Jennivek, Busy, Miss Brady? Sadie. Yes, sir. Dow. Oh, it's not of much consequence. I can wait. Maybe I can think better after I've waited. (Crosses ASSISTED BY SADIE 41 to C. E.) I'll be back in about half an hour, Miss Brady. I'm sure I'll have the opening paragraph all ready by that time. (Strolls out C. E.) Jenniver. What was he dictating? Sadie. He's writing a book about philosophy. What is life and what is love and things like that. Jenniveu. He's a strange young man. I can't make him out. Miss Brady, I need you to take some dictation. It is a matter of the utmost importance and absolutely private, you understand.'' Sadie. Yes, sir. _ Jennivee. A pearl necklace was stolen from the hotel on Monday night. No one knows anything about the affair yet and we are trying to find the thief without taking the guests of the hotel into our confidence. Mr. Cameron is investigating the matter, but his identity must not be made known. He is to be re- garded simply as a guest, not as a detective. Sadie. I understand. ., Jenniver. He is going to examine one of the bell boys now. We want you to take the testimony for us. Have you seen anything of Mrs. Carley.? Sadie. Yes. She was in here just a moment ago. Jenniver. I wonder if you could find her. I don't want t^ have her paged as it might arouse suspicion. 42 ASSISTED BY SADIE Sadie. I think I can find her. Jenniver. When you do, bring her to my office. Sadie. Yes, sir. {Exits R.) Hakbiet enters from L. Jennivek. Well, Miss Carley, he is a pretty smart man, isn't he? Hakeiet. Yes. Jenniver. He's one of these new style detectives. Deduc- tions and all that sort of thing. You needn't worry any longer. Michael Cameron always finds his man. Did he learn anything from the bell boy.'' Harriet. Only- that there was a man loitering on the ve- randa early in the morning. Jenniver. Ah, that's something. Now all Cameron has to do is to find out who it was. Harriet. He knows. The bell boy recognized him. It was Doctor Beedle. ., Jenniver. (Surprised.) Beedle.' The long-haired professor from Iowa.' Oh, surely not. _., Harriet. The boy was positive. Jenniver. Wei), that is astonishing. Doctor Beedle is a pro- ASSISTED BY SADIE 43 fessor of moral philosophy. He probably went to sleep on the veranda. Hareiet. The boy said he seemed to be on guard. He was pacing up and down and looking up at the window. Jenniver. Well, well. I'll have to have a talk with Cameron and learn what he thinks. (Crosses to L.) Of course you understand that the guests are not to know that he is a detective. ^^ Harriet. Yes, I understand. {Crosses to settle and sinks wearily on it. Puts hand to head:)' Jenniver. Now, don't you worry, Miss Carley. If there's any man in America who can find the thief it is Michael Cameron. (Eants at L.) Enter Mrs. Carley from C. E. follorsfed btf Bunch. Mrs. Carley. You go into Colonel Jenniver's office and tell him that I want to see him immediately. Tell him I have a clue. T. Bunch. Yes'm. (Crosses to L.) Mrs. Carley. Tell him it is very important. Bunch. Yes'm. (Exits at L.) Mrs. Carley. (Comes down R. C. by settle. Starts at seeing Harriet.) Harriet ! 44 ASSISTED BY SADIE Hauriet. (Wearily.) ^^^- Mrs. Carley. What did they want with you in Colonel Jenni- ver's office? ^t „ Harriet. Mr. Cameron is investigating the robbery. He cross-examined me like a lawyer. It's terrible. I can't stand it any longer. My nerves are all un- strung. (Passionately.) I don't care whether they find the thief or not. I want them to leave me alone. (Sobbing.) I want them to leave me alone. Harriet sobs with her face hidden in her hands. Mrs. Carley goes to her and sits on settle soothing her. Sadie enters stealthily from R., crosses down and slyly steals Mrs. Carley's bag during the fol- lowing speech. ,, „ " ^ Mrs. Carley. There, there, dear, you're all upset. You'd better come upstairs and rest awhile. I've never known you to be like this before. Probably we'd better go back to New York. (Sadie takes the handkerchief from Mrs. Carley's bag, replaces bag and exits at R.) There's no use wearing yourself out like this. It's a mere matter of nerves. Doctor Cartwright can fix you up as soon as you get back to New York. Harriet. (Sobbing.) Yes, let's go away. I hate this man Cameron. I hate this place. I want to go home. I can't stand it here any longer. (Crosses to R.) I'll pack up at Mrs. Carley. We'll go the first thing in the morning. I can clear up the matter of the robbery in a few moments. ASSISTED BY SADIE 45 Harriet. (Starts, turns to her.) Clear it up? How? Mrs. Carley. That handkerchief I found in your room. It be- longs to Alonzo Dow. I told you so all the time. Harriet. How do you know? Mrs. Carley. I've done a little detective work myself. I took it to the laundress and she recognized it immediately. She said all Mr. Dow's handkerchiefs were like that and that no one else in the hotel had any. Jenniver enters from L., followed b«/ Cameron and Bunch. Jenniver. Ah, here is Mrs. Carley now. Mrs. Carley, Mr. Cameron. (They how.) Where's Miss Brady? Boy, see if you can find Miss Brady. Bunch. Yes, sir. (Exits at R.) Mrs. Carley. Oh, Mr. Cameron, I have an important clue for Cameron. A clue? ,, „ Mrs. Carley. (At R. C.) Yes, a handkerchief. I found it under the rug in front of Harriet's dressing table. It belongs to Alonzo Dow. Cameron. How do you know it does? 46 ASSISTED BY SADIE Mb,s. Carley. I took it to the laundress and she identified it as Dow's. He's the man that Harriet saw loitering in our hall the very night the pearls were stolen. Cameron. Let me see the handkerchief. (Mrs. Caeley looks in her bag.) Mrs. Carley. Why, it's gone. All. Gone .'' Mrs. Carley. I had it in this bag. I put it there just a moment ago. I am positive. Cameron. Has the bag been out of your possession.'' Mrs. Caeley. Not for a second. I had it in my hand all the time. This is most mysterious. I had it in my hand just before I came in this room. I put it in this bag, I remember distinctly — and now it's gone. Cameron. Who was here with you.-' Mrs. Caeley, No one except my stepdaughter. Cameron. And the handkerchief — ^what kind of a handker- chief was it.f" Mrs. Carley. A gentleman's handkerchief. White with a nar- row blue border. The laundress is positive that no one in the hotel has any like that except Alonzo Dow. ASSISTED BY SADIE 47 Cameron. And Dow was seen lurking in the hall the night of the robbery? ., „ Mrs. Cakley. ( Triumphantly.) He was. My daughter saw him. Harriet. {At R.) I saw him going into his room. He wasn't lurking at all. Cameron. His room is on the eighth floor.!" Mrs. Caeley. Right next to ours. He had it changed the night after he saw my daughter's pearls. Jenniver. That's true. He said he wanted a room with a fire escape. Cameron. Hm ! Is this man Dow a friend of your Doctor Beedle.? Jenniver. I don't know. Doctor Beedle was here several weeks before Mr. Dow came. I have never seen them together. ^ Cameron. I think I'd better have a look at your rooms, Mrs. Mrs. Carley. That was just what I was going to suggest. It would be the easiest thing in the world for a man to get from Dow's room out onto the fire escape an^ into Harriet's room. Cameron. (At. C.) Was your window open, Miss Carley? 48 ASSISTED BY SADIE Hakriet. The window was open. Cameeon. ■^^- Hareiet. But the screen was in and locked. Cameeon. Did it show any evidence of having been tampered Haeeiet. I — I don't know. Cameeon. I'm anxious to meet this Mr. Dow and also Doctor Beedle. But remember, not a word about my pro- Ent er Sadi^ from R. Sadie. {Goes to Jennivee at L. C.) Have I kept you waiting.'' I've been looking for Mrs. Carley. _ ■' Jennivee. It's all right. We've decided to postpone the ex- amination until after dinner. Sadie. Yes, sir. (Starts out at L.) Cameron. Just a moment, young woman. Sadie. (Returns to R. C.) Yes, sir? „ Cameeon. I'd like to have you take a report for me in about an hour. _ SADIE. Yes, sir. ASSISTED BY SADIE 49 Cameron. Now, Mrs. Carley, we'll take a look at the rooms. Mes. Carley. It might be a good idea to search Dow's room at the same time. _, Cameron. You think so? Mrs. Carley. I think he is the man who stole the necklace. Harriet. He isn't. I tell you, he isn't. There's no use go- ing on with this investigation. (Emotionally.) The thief has had time to escape. There's no use throw- ing suspicion on an innocent man. Cameron. How do you know he is an innocent man? Harriet. I don't know. „ Cameron. You and Mr. Dow are pretty good friends, I take • Harriet. No, no, no! I scarcely know the man. Only I have a feeling that he did not steal my necklace. Mrs. Carley. Then how do you explain the handkerchief? Harriet. I — ^I can't explain it. Cameron. Certainly not. That's what we'll have Mr. Dow do. Enter Dow from C. E. He strolls down C. Jennivee. Mr. Dow! 50 ASSISTED BY SADIE Dow. Yes? Jenniveb. (At. L. C.) Oh, nothing. (Cameron advances to Dow and Jenniver at C. Mrs. Carley and Harriet at R. Sadie at L. ) Dow. I was just going to have a little typewriting done. Jenniver. Mr. Dow, this is Mr. Cameron. Mr. Cameron, Mr. Dow. _ Cameron. (Bows.) I didn't quite catch the name. Dow, My name is Dow. Cameron. v. Ah, yes. Any relation to Francis Dow, the golf expert .'' _ Dow. Never heard of him. Cameron. (Pleasantly.) Then you're not interested in golf? Dow. Not in the least. _ Cameron. Golf is quite a hobby with me. Every man must have his hobby, you know. Dow. Yes, I've heard so. Cameron. And what better than golf? ASSISTED BY SADIE S] Dow. Oh, I have one that is much more interesting? Cameron. Indeed.? What is it? Dow. (Calmly looking at him.) Criminology. Cameron. Well, that is interesting. Dow. Especially in its relation to the human face. I like to flatter myself that I have progressed so far in my hobby that I can spot a thief nine times out of ten merely by looking at him. {Slight pause, then continues calmly looking Cameron straight in the eye.) And I average better than that in regard to detectives. (Tense pause. Everyone holding tableau.) Cameron. (Slowly recovering his poise.) Well, I hope I shall see more of you, Mr. Dow. Dow. There isn't any doubt about it, Mr. Cameron. You see my hobby rides right along with my pro- fessional occupation. Cameron. Your occupation? And may I ask what that is, Mr. Dow? Dow. I'm a meddler. Cameron. That is sometimes a dangerous occupation, my friend. 52 ASSISTED BY SADIE Dow. Invariably. But other people's business has al- ways Interested me a great deal more than my own, possibly because I've never really had any. Cameron. A man should mind his own business. Dow. I do. My business is minding other people's busi- ness. All the progress in the world's history is the result of meddling. Eve meddled in the Garden of Eden, if she hadn't probably none of us would be here. Christopher Columbus meddled with the west- tern ocean, Newton with steam, Franklin with light- ning. So you see, my dear Mr. Cameron, there is some excuse for the meddler, after all, Cameron. Probably so. But there is no excuse for meddling with another person's belongings. Dow. {Angrily.) Meaning just what? Cameron. (Turns away to R. with a sneer.) Oh, just a little expert advice, that's all. Dow. (Seizes him by left arm and pvlls him around to face him.) In other words, you think I stole Miss Carley's pearl necklace? (Tense pause. Mrs. Carley gasps. All hold tableau.) ASSISTED BY SADIE 53 Cambuojst. (After pause.) I didn't say so. _ •' Dow. (Drawls.) No, that's a fact — you didn't. No matter what you think, you haven't got the proofs necessary to spring the trap, have you.'' Cameron. (Looks at him a moment.) By the way, Mr. Dow, how did you know that Miss Carley's pearl necklace had been stolen.'' Dow. (Lightly.) Oh, that's one my trade secrets. I'm a meddler, you know. „ Cameron. . At any rate I am pleased to have had this little discussion with you, Mr. Dow. To say the least, you are a very interesting person. (Turns to Mrs. Car- ley.) And now, Mrs. Cdrley, if you will be good enough to show me the rooms — Mrs. Carley. Yes, certainly. (Goes to R. dopr.) Come, Har- riet. (Exits at R. with Cameron, followed by Har- riet.') _, ' Dow. Miss Brady, are you ready for a little dictation.'' Sadie. (At the machine.) Yes, sir. , Jenniver. (Coming down to L. of Dow.) I hardly know what to say, Mr. Dow — 54 A SSISTED BY SADIE Dow. Then don't bother about saying anything, Colo- nel. Everything is quite all right. Vicky and Null enter from C, E., cross down R. in pantomime conversation. They sit at the table: Jennivee. (To Dow.) I hope you've taken no offense. Dow. (Drawls.) Offense.? Oh, no, far from it. I don't sleep well at night unless I've had a little excitement during the day. I wouldn't have missed that meeting with Mr. Cameron for a five-pound note. I rather think things will stir a httle more lively from now on, and I'm beastly glad of it. I haven't slept well since the necklace was stolen. Jenniver. Why not.? Dow. I've been waiting every day for something to turn up and now (slight pause), well, now Mr. Cameron has turned up, hasn't he? It's quite a relief to me. Jenniver. (Crossing to L. door.) I don't understand what you are driving it, Mr. Dow. I don't understand you at all. Dow. Have patience for a few days. Colonel, and you will understand everything. Good afternoon. Jenniver. I hope so. (Exits at L.) ASSISTED BY SADIE 55 Dow. (Coming down to Sadie.) Now let me see. What is life ? We'd got that far, hadn't we? Sadie. Yes, sir. (Reads.) What is life? Dow. (Dictating.) Life is just one damned thing after another. (Null, and Vicky are seated close together down R. talking in earnest pantomime. Her hand is in his and his arm is over the back of her chair.) Sadie. I've got that. „ ^ Dow. (Dictating.) And what is love ? Ah, what is love. f (Curtain be- gins to descend.) Sadie. (Looks up at him languishingly.) Yes, Mr. Dow, what is love.? Dow. Love.'' (Turns and sees Null and Vicky.) Ah, I have it. Love is just two damned things after each other. (Curtain is almost down.) Sadie. Such language! Curtain. Note: The opening scene from the rise of the curtain to the exit of Senora should be played in a brisk, snappy manner. The actors must snap up their cu^s quickly and each person must act all the time, not only when speaking but when others are 56 ASSISTED BY SADIE speaking. Keep in your character. The group at the table should he thoroughly rehearsed in panto- mimic conversation, and while Sadie and Beedle are speaking they keep up this by-play, but be careful not to attract the attention of the audience from the speaker. ASSISTED BY SADIE The Second Act. Scene: The same as the first act. It is now 8:30 p. m. Stage lights on full. All lights, stage, borders, house, etc., must be on one switch so that at the proper cue the entire stage is in total darhness. Discovered: Cameeon seated on settle and Jenni- VER seated at table down R. The curtain rises rapidly without music. The orchestra is off stage at R. Jenniver. {As the curtain rises.) And the necklace was worth twenty thousand dol- lars. Cameron. A good haul. Jenniver. Of course everyone will cancel their reservations if they learn that a jewel thief is at work in the hotel. Cameron. Naturally. You say the robbery took place early Tuesday morning. Jenniver. Yes. Miss Carley didn't go to sleep until nearly two o'clock. Cameron. And nothing else has been missed.-' Jenniver. Nothing. 57 58 ASSISTED BY SADIE Camekon. The thief either made his escape or is waiting his chance to make a bigger haul. Jennivee. Probably he is satisfied with the pearls. Cameron. Out of the question. My dear Colonel, a thief is never satisfied. Do you really want me to make an investigation of this case.? Jennivee. Certainly. „ ■^ Lameeon. Miss Carley's attitude is a little surprising. She doesn't seem to care whether the thief is caught or not. , Jennivee, She dreads the publicity. Cameeon. That is possible. And it is also possible that she is trying to shield the thief. Jennivee. Surely you don't think that Miss Carley would — Cameeon. I've been in the detective game for a good many years, Colonel, and the first thing I learned was never to trust a woman. _ Jennivee. But Miss Carley is — Cameeon. Makes no difference what she is. She's a woman, that's enough. She has a heart and can fall in love just like any other woman. Now suppose she falls in love with a crook — oh, such a thing is possible! ASSISTED BY SADIE 59 She wouldn't care to have the case investigated and yet she'd be glad to soak the insurance company for the full worth of the jewels. Jennivee. • I can't understand it at all. Their rooms are locked with a double spring lock. That wasn't tam- pered with. The screens in the windows were all locked. No one got in there. Cameron. I'm not so sure. ^ Jennivek. Miss Carley said the screens hadn't been tampered with. ^ Cameron. Then Miss Carley lied. Jennivee. You've found a clue? Cameron. I think I have found more than a clue, my dear Cplonel. I have found the thief. Jenniver. Then let us arrest him at once. Cameron. All in good time. It is barely possible that there are more than one connected with the case. In a day or two I hope to be able to solve the whole mystery. Jenniver. You think it is Dow.? Cameron. I'm watching Dow. I'm not quite sure whether he has any connection with the case or not. How long has he been here.!" 60 ASSISTED BY SADIE Jennivee. He came last Saturday. He registered from New Cameron. Suppose you send a telegram to the police in New Haven and have him located. Jenniver. I'll do it. „ Cameron. He has plenty of money, you say? Jenniver. He looked like a couple of millions. He came in a private car attached to the 4 :30 limited. Cameron. Any one with him.? Jenniver. A valet. He's an Englishman named Norkins. He sleeps in an alcove bedroom just back of Mr. Dow's rooms. ~ Cameron. Ah, so the valet's on the eighth floor, too.' Does his room have a fire escape.'' Jenniver. Yes. Just the same as Mr. Dow's. I confess I've been worried about Dow ever since the robbery. Of course he may simply be an eccentric young million- aire full of hobbies, or (pauses) — Cameron. He may be one of the cleverest gem thieves in America. t Jenniver. We must proceed with extreme caution, Mr. Cam- eron. Suppose I had him arrested and it turned out he was innocent. That would be worse than letting ASSISTED BY SADIE 61^ him get away with the jewels, assuming that he is a thief. „ Cameeon. {Rises.) The first thing for you to do, Colonel, is to send a telegram to New Haven and find out all you can about him. t Jennivek.. (Rises.) I'll do it at once. (Starts to L.) Cameeon. And it might be a good idea to send a similar tele- gram to that Iowa university and look up the record of your friend, Doctor Beedle. Jennivee. Oh, I'm sure Doctor Beedle is all right. He is writing a book on something or other and it is pos- sible that he was trying to formulate his ideas on the veranda the night of the robbery. Cameron. Does he usually formulate his ideas at two o'clock in the morning? t " Jenniver. I don't know. Probably it would be wise to send the telegram to the university. (Crosses to door at L.) I've been in the hotel business for thirty years and I think I'm a pretty good judge of human na- ture and if Doctor Beedle is a crook — Enter Doctor Beedle from L. He bumps into Jenniver. t, Beedle. Oh, I beg your pardon. Colonel. I'm so near- sighted. Jenniver. That's all right. Doctor Beedle, allow me to pre- 62 ASSISTED BY SADIE sent Mr. Cameron. I want you to take him out and show him the links tomorrow. You'll find he is as great a golf enthusiast as yourself. Beedle. Ah, delighted, I'm sure. (Meets Camebon at C. and shakes hands with Mm.) We are always glad to greet a new golfer at the Oceanic, Mr. Cameron. (Jenniveb, exits at L.) Cameron. Thank you. I'll be delighted to take a look at the links tomorrow. ^i BEEDI.E. Excellent. I think I can arrange, for a couple of hours in the afternoon. I expect to leave on Sat- urday. „ •' Cameron. But the season is just beginning. Beedle. I am not a regular patron of these high-priced summer resorts, Mr. Cameron. I came- here on an especial mission and I am glad to say that it is suc- cessfully accomplished. (Rubbing hands together as if pleased.) Yes, yes. Very successfully accom- plished. I am raising funds for a church orphan asylum in Iowa. My friends here in the east have been very liberal. Are you interested in philan- thropy, Mr. Cameron.? Cameron. Only in a general way. Doctor Beedle. I am not a wealthy man. _ Beedle. I have collected thirty thousand dollars for my institution. Only this morning Mrs. Johnson made a splendid contribution. Ten thousand dollars. I had never cashed such a large check before. ASSISTED BY SADIE 63 Cameron. That is quite a sum of money to carry with you, Doctor. Beedle. I fully realize that, sir, but I am somewhat old- fashioned. I don't trust the banks here. I feel safer with the money in my own possession. Dow appears at C. E. listening unobserved. Cameron. I suppose you put it in the safe? Beedle. No. I have it concealed about my person. The hotel is well protected. Of course ten thousand dol- lars is a large sum, but I never lost a penny in my life. I'm a careful man, Mr. Cameron. Dow. (Strolling down L.) Good evening, gentlemen. Cameron. (Borers politely.) Beedle. Good evening, Mr. Dow. I was just speaking about my success in raising contributions for my church orphan asylum in Iowa. I was wondering if you would care to contribute anything to the cause. Dow. Contribute to an orphan asylum.? Well, let me see — you might put me down for two or three (pauses) — Beedle. Thousand, Mr. Dow.? 64 ASSISTED BY SADIE Dow. Oh, dear no. I was thinking about contributing two or three orphans. Beedle. Oh, we have the orphans, sir. We have the or- phans. _ Dow. Then that let's me out. {Dance music heard off stage at R.) Beesle. I believe I will watch the festivities for a little while. (Goes to R.) I love to see the young folks enjoying themselves. That music is very inviting. Will you join me, Mr. Dow.'' Dow. No, thank you. I'm riot feeling very butterflyish this evening. ^ Cameron. Nothing on your mind, is there, Mr. Dow.'' Dow. Nothing at all, except my hair. Cameron. I'll probably see you again later in the evening. Dow. Delighted, I'm sure. The later the better. Cameron bows to Dow, then strolls off at R. with Beedle. Sadie and Bunch enter from C. E. Sadie. (Coming down C.) Ain't that music just heavenly.? (Dances a little.) I could one-step all night. (Sees Dow.) Oh, excuse me. I didn't know anyone was here. ASSISTED BY SADIE 65 Dow. Oh, that's all right. I don't count, you know. Go ahead and dance. Good evening, Bunch. Bunch. Good evening, Mr. Dow. (Sadie and Bunch re- move hats and put them on desk.) Dow. I hope I'm not in the way. Sadie. Oh, no. We don't mind you. Bunch and 1 thought we'd listen to the music a little while. Dow. That's just what I'm going to do. Sadie. Aren't you going in there .!• (Points to R.) Dow. Not just now. I'm too bashful. Sadie. (Dancing a little.) You dance, don't you, Mr. Dow.'' Dow. I try, but my feet are inclined to stutter. Sadie. Oh, it's the easiest thing in the world. Come on, Bunch. Nobody's looking. (Sadie and Bunch dance.) ^^^ (To audience.) That's the first time I was ever called nobody. Bunch. (Dancing.) I can do fancy dances and everything. You ought to see me do the Slow Pivot and the Kitchen Sink. 66 ASSISTED BY SADIE Sadie. I'll bet you're a wonder. Bunch. (After dancing a little.) I'm a fine toe dancer. Sadie. You are. That's a fact. And you don't care whose toes you dance on. (Limps to L..and sits.) Bunch. (To Dow at C.) Do you want me to show you how? Dow. Well, I'll do anything once. (They dance.) Bunch. (Stops after a little while.) Say, you ain't much of a dancer, are you.'' (Goes *« ^O Sadie. (Comes to Dow at C.) You don't dance much in Connecticut, do you? Dow. Oh, no. We can't get up speed enough.' Sadie. Why don't you break Into the ballroom? You can dance as good as some of 'em. Dow. I'd rather practice a little with you, first. Sadie. (Dances alone.) There, that's the step. ^ Do you think you can wet it? _, ' Dow. I'll try. (They dance.) ASSISTED BY SADIE 67 Sadie. Don't try to trot, just balance. Dow. Trotting seems to come natural to me. Sadie. Keep time to the music. {Pause.) That's better, Now swing two or three times at the turn. Bunch. {Coaching.) Keep your feet farther apart. Dow. If I do it's good night, John. Sadie. Now back me and swing. There you're getting it. Keep oh. (Pause.) Oh, ain't that grand. (The/j keep on dancing.) Enter Mrs. Quinn from L. Mrs. Quinn. Will ye look at that now? Bunch. Come on, Mary Ann. Let's show 'em how! (Starts to dance with Mrs. Quinn.) Mrs. Quinn. Hivins, if the boss 'ud come in! Bunch. Don't worry about the boss. Here, let's try the sidewise dip. ,, _ "^ Mrs. Quinn. (Stops da/ncimg.) The sidewise dip, is it? What kind of a dip is that? 68 ASSISTED BY SADIE Bunch. It's where you twist your partner backwards like you was trying to break her back over a chair. (Grabs her and starts to dance.) Mes. Quinn. Here, here! None of that sidewise dip, me buckoo. You'll be wantin' me to do the St. Vitus shake next. Stop it, I say. Whoo, I haven't a breath left in me body! (Bunch stops swingm^ her.) (The music stops.) Sadie. (Pushing Dow to R.) Now go on in and show what a fine dancer you are. Dow. I'd rather stay here with you. Sadie. I've got some work to do. Dow. Do you want some more dictation.? Sadie. Nothing doing. I wrote you What is Life and What is Love until my head buzzes. Dow. Then we'll start a new chapter. What is Crime.'' Sadie. (Seriou^li/.) Do you know anything about crime? Dow. Sure. Sadie. Then we'll start that chapter in the morning. See all those girls over there by the balcony. Why don't you ask one of them to dance? ASSISTED BY SADIE 69 Dow. She miffht accept. ^ ^ Sadie. Well, run along now. I've got to get to work. _. . , 3 Dow. Do you mean it.? (Soft music off stage at R.) Sadie. Surest thing in the world. Dow. Well, I'll be back after a couple of struggles. (Exits at R.) T,^ ^ ^ ^ Mrs. Quinn. (Who has been talking to Bunch up L., now comes down C.) It's just as well that I come in and caught you. Some of the guests are going to use this room pris- ^' Bunch. Well, they got their nerve. Mks. Quinn. You'd better go down in the kitchen. Bunch, and see the lovely refrishmints the chef is after preparin' fer the party. t, ^ *' Bunch. Gosh, I never thought of the eats. Say, Miss Brady, you stick around here and I'll see what I can do with the chef. We'll have ours served in the coat room. (Exits at L.) I was just going to look over my notes. Mrs. Quinn. The Spanish Senora wid the vampire hair is comin' in here in a minute for a little teet-a-teet wid Miss Carley. 70 ASSISTED BY SADIE Sadie. (Alert at the word Cakley.) Miss Carley? ,, ^ ■^ Mes. Quinn. She met me in the hall and asked me would I tell the young lady to meet her here. She didn't want the ould lady to know anything about it. They're plannin' some divilmint, they are. Sadie. Did Miss Carley say she'd come.? Mas. Quinn. She wasn't overly plazed with the message but from the commandin' airs that the Senora gave her- self I think she has the young girl under her thumb, I do. She didn't say, if she plaze, or if she can, but says she, "Tell Miss Carley to meet me at the Ladies' Lounge in ten minutes." Sadie. Then they should be here now. I'll get my notes and go. (Crosses to desk.) Mrs. Quinn. I'm goin' up in the balcony and get a peep at the dancers. They say that Miss Vaughan on the third floor has got a dress on that cost a thousand dollars. It's her comin' out dress her maid told me, and from what I saw of it it's rightly named. I niver saw such a comin' out in all me life and I've been a chamber- maid at the Oceanic for six seasons. (Exits at R.) Sadie crosses to L. and conceals herself behind the portieres. The audience must realize that she is con- cealed there and has riot made her exit. Slight pause, Haekiet enters from R., looks around, crosses to settle and sits there, reading a letter she takes ASSISTED BY SADIE 71 from her dress. Senoka enters from C. E. and comes down R. ^_. Harriet. (Rises.) You sent for me? Senora. Yes. A telegram came this evening while I was at dinner. __ Harriet. (Alarmed.) A telegram.'' From Carlos? (Music ceases.) SeiJora. Yes. I have it here. (Produces telegram and reads.) "That five thousand dollar bond must be arranged at once. Tomorrow. I cannot stay in this jail another day. I am ill and cough all the time. The place is loathsome. Make a final appeal to Har-riet before it is too late. Carlos." Harriet. He is ill — the place is loathsome. What can I do? Oh, what can I do? SeSora. He tells you what to do. You must raise that five thousand dollars. My brother is delicate. I always feared for his lungs. And now — to be shut up in a horrible jail with criminals and outcasts — sick, friendless, alone — -t Harriet. I know, I know ! I can think of nothing else. All day, all night, I seem to see him. I hear him calling tome! (In agony.) And I am powerless, powerless. Senora. And yet you say you love him. 72 ASSISTED BY SADIE Habeiet. What can I do? I have no money. Every hour I am expecting a large check from the Insurance Com- pany. But it doesn't come, it doesn't come! I'll go to him. I'll appeal to the judge — Senora. Mrs. Carley would never permit that. Hakkiet. I don't think of Mrs. Carley — I don't think of anyone — only your brother, alone, sick in that frightful place. „ ~ " ^ Senoua. Why don't you send a message to the Insurance Company and demand the payment for your jewels.'' Hakriet. I did. I sent it yesterday. I was frantic. I threatened to bring suit against the company. Senoka. And you received no answer.'' Haeeiet. Only a promise to investigate the robbery. Senora. I don't know who stole your pearls, Harriet, but that was just another piece of bad luck. Haeriet. How.? The insurance money will be paid and then I can help your brother. Senora. Yes, but every hour means torture to him. If you had your pearls we might pawn them and raise the money. __ •^ Harriet. Oh, I couldn't pawn them. Mrs. Carley would be sure to find it out. ASSISTED BY SADIE Senoea. Certainly you can't pawn them when they have been stolen. __ Harkiet. Can't we go to Carlos tomorrow? Perhaps if I appeal to the judge — Senora. Impossible. __ Haumet. Then I can do nothing — nothing! SeSora. You .might send another telegrajii to the Insurance Company. Enter Mrs. Quinn from R. Mrs. Quinn. Excuse me, I'm looking for Colonel Jenniver. (Crosses to L. and exits at L.) SeSora. I am going back to the ballroom. Will you join me, Harriet? __ Harriet. Oh, I couldn't. I am going to my room. I can't stand it. I can't stand it ! Senora. You'd better send that telegram tonight. Harriet. I will. And tell Carlos that I'll have the money for him by Monday. SeiJora. You are sure? (At R. door.) Harriet. (Passionately.) Yes, I'll get it some way. I'll get it if I have to 74 ASSISTED BY SADIE steal it. Send him a telegram tonight. (Senoka ex- its at R.) Sadie appears at L. Sadie. {Comes to Harkiet who has been sobbing on the settle. ) Miss Carley. Harriet. (Starts.) Who is it.? What do you want.'' (Waltz music off R. Very soft.) Sadie. I'm the stenographer. I saw you crying. Can I help you.'' Harriet. No, no one can help me. I — I'm all right now. I haven't been well. Sadie. Shall I find Mrs. Carley for you.? Harriet. No. I don't want to see her. I don't want to see anyone. Sadie. I have been reading the notes I took for Mr. Cam- eron. He seems to be a very wl^e detective. The case looks pretty black against Mr. Dow. Harriet. Mr. Dow didn't steal my necklace. Sadie. So you said before, Miss Carley. But Mr. Cam- eron is working up a strong case against him. Harriet. He has no proof. ASSISTED BY SADIE 75 Sadie. Only circumstantial evidence. It would be a great pity to arrest Mr. Dow and brand him as a thief, probably send him to the penitentiary for a crime he did not commit. I know Cameron's way. He's a bulldog, Miss Carley. He'll never rest until he fixes the crime on someone. Maybe Mr. Dow is in- nocent, maybe Cameron knows he is innocent, but if the real thief is not found Cameron will send Dow to prison. __ ^ Harriet. He couldn't. Mr. Dow is a gentleman. He knows nothing about my pearls. Sadie. Then who did steal your necklace.? Harriet. I — ^I don't know. „ Sadie. When did you discover the jewels had been stolen.'' Harriet. On — (thinking) on Tuesday morning. As soon as I got up I went to my jewel box and it was empty. Sadie. Then what did you do.^" Harriet. I looked everywhere for the pearls and couldn't find them. Sadie. Your door was locked? Harriet. Yes. It was locked on the inside. Sadie. Then the burglar must have come in through the window. 76 ASSISTED BY SADIE Habriet. I — ^I don't know. _ SADIE. But you said the screen was locked. Harbiet. (Rises.) Why are you asking these questions.? I went through a cross-examination once today. I'm not well, I tell you. I won't be treated like a witness on the stand. Who are you.'' Sadie. Party by the name of Sadie Brady. Harriet. Why are you trying to cross-examine me? Sadie. In order to save an innocent man from suspicion. Miss Carley, there is something back of this robbery. Something you know and something that you have not told. Do you know who stole your necklace? Harriet. I — I'll not answer you. You have no right to question me. _, Sadie. Then you are willing to keep silent and allow Mr. Cameron to go ahead and weave a net around the feet of an innocent man. You say you know Alonzo Dow did not take your pearls. How do you know.' (Harriet i« «iZ^w<.) I'll answer for you. You know he is innocent because you know the identity of tlie thief. Harriet, No, I — I tell you I don't. Sadie. It wasn't Mrs. Carley? ASSISTED BY SADIE 77 Hakeiet. Sadie. You are shielding someone, Harriet Carley. I know it and I'm going to find out who it is. Hakeiet. It's— it's— Sadie. Go on. __ Haeeiet. It was my maid. ^ Sadie. {Genuinely surprised.) Your maid.? Haeeiet. Yes. She — she needed the money for someone. I — I gave her the pearls. Sadie. Gave her a twenty thousand dollar pearl neck- lace .'' ^-. Haeeiet. The man she loved was in prison. A bail of five thousand dollars was demanded. I— I wanted to help her. She is going to pay it back. Sadie. Why didn't you tell all this to Mr. Cameron.-' Haeeiet. I was afraid. He'd arrest her and then it would be too late. Why do you look at me like that.? Don't you believe me? What are you going to do? Sadie. I'm going to find that pearl necklace. Haeeiet.. But that is impossible. She's not here. She took it with her to New York. 78 ASSISTED BY SADIE Sadie. I'll find her. I'll learn whether you are speaking the truth or whether you hid the necklace yourself and then tried to defraud the Insurance Company of its value. tt Harriet. You are insulting. I'll report you to Colonel Jen- niver. „ Sadie. Do it. And I'll report you to the police. Harriet Carley, that necklace is still in your possession. Harriet. (Weakly sinks in chair.) No, no! „ Sadie. You and Mrs. Carley came here to the hotel with- out a maid. __ Harriet. It was one of the hotel maids. Sadie. Where have you hidden the necklace.'' Harriet. Oh, go away ! Why are you hounding me like this ? What have I ever done to you? Sadie. Do you want Alonzo Dow to go to prison for your crime? I tell you that Michael Cameron will never stop until he has him behind the bars. An in- nocent man — Harriet. {Sohs.) Don't, don't ! I took it. I have it now. It was no crime. The necklace belonged to me. (Music ceases.) ASSISTED BY SADIE 79 Sadie. (Gravely.) And yet you would have had the Insurance Com- pany pay you twenty thousand dollars for its loss. Haekiet. I meant to give it back to them. My father's es- tate will be settled in a few weeks. I didn't mean to do wrong. I was going to pay it all back, every cent. „ Sadie. What excuse could you have given? Harriet. I'd tell them that I had found the necklace. Sadie. Why did you attempt to defraud the company? Harriet. I needed the money. Mrs. Carley doesn't allow me a penny of my own. I have to have five thousand dollars at once. _, Sadie. What for.? Harriet. I — I can't tell you. Sadie. You'd better tell me the whole thing. Harriet. Why should I confide in you ? Sadie. Because I know enough now to arrest you where you are. tx ■^ Harriet. Arrest me? You? ^ Sadie. Yes. I am in the employ of the Insurance Com- pany. ASSISTED BY SADIE Harriet. A detective! {Covers her face with her hands.) Oh, what have I said? What have I done? Sadie. Now pull yourself together and listen to me. I know why you have to have that money. You are going to give it to that woman's brother. Harriet. You overheard us? Sadie. That's part of my business. Why is he in jailP Harriet. He is accused of forgery. That Third National case in New York. But he is innocent. Sadie. (^Sarcastically. ) Of course. They always are. Where did you meet the gentleman? ^^ Harriet. At dancing school. We are engaged. He is the Senora's brother. „ Sadie. And I suppose Mrs. Carley knows nothing about Harriet. Oh, no. I wouldn't dare tell her. She'd never al- low me to see Carlos again. Sadie. Probably that would be the wisest plan after all. Harriet. You are not going to betray me? {Pauses, looks o^. Sadie m terror.) You're not going to have me arrested? ASSISTED BY SADIE 81 Sadie. No, but the pearl necklace must be reported found. Harriet. It is concealed in a false bottom in my trunk. Sadie. Go and take it out. Then tell Colonel Jenniver that you have found it. Harriet. But the five thousand dollars. I must raise the money. „ •' Sadie. That's not my aifair, but if you'll take a little tip from Sadie you'll investigate the case a little before you fork over five thousand dollars. How do you know the man is innocent? Harriet. Why, he is incapable of such an act. You don't understand. Carlos is impetuous, I know, but he is a Spanish nobleman. He'd die before he'd stoop to anything dishonorable. Sadie. And the Senora is his sister, is she? Harriet. Yes. c Sadie. Somehow I don't just exactly trust the Sefiora. Harriet. Do you know her? _, •' Sadie. No, I've never spoken to her in my life. But I have a pretty good line on her just the same. And when you want to get a line on a woman, don't listen to her — ^watch her. That's half the battle in my 82 ASSISTED BY SADIE business. Now you just leave this thing to me for a day or two. Haeriet. But Carlos is ill and he is in jail. Sadie. Yes, things look pretty much balled up, don't they? It's just the same all over the country. Look at Congress. __ Hakbiet. Congress ? ^ ^ Sadie. Sure. They're in a worse fix than you are. I dunno how they get stalled, or on what, but it's a cinch they do and are, and I can prove it by any editorial page in the country. Harriet. I don't know what to do. Sadie. Don't do anything. Leave it to Sadie. I said I'd help you and believe me, I will. Now you go and dig up that necklace and tell the Colonel that it's been found. If your Mr. Carlos really is innocent I'll help you find bail for him. Buck up ! I'm going to stand by you. (Pause. Harriet looks at her a moment, then takes both her hands.) Harriet. I trust you, and I thank you. (Exits at R.) Sadie. Score one for Sister Sadie. Enter Jenniver from L. Music heard at R. Jenkiver. Have you seen anything of Cameron? ASSISTED BY SADIE 83 Sadie. Mercy, no. Have you lost him? Jenniveb. I've had every boy in the hotel paging him for a quarter of an hour. {Shows nervousness and excite- ment.) Go down to the office and tell the clerk to come up here at once. Sadie. Yes, sir. (Starts off at R.) Enter Bunch from C. E. Bunch. (Paging.) Call for Mr. Cameron. Call for Mr. Cameron. (Comes down L. C. to Jenniver.) It's no use, boss. I can't find him. _ J ENNIVER. Have you tried the grill.'' Bunch. I've tried the whole house from the power plant to the attic and he ain't here. There's a bunch of folks up on the tenth floor. Jenniver. Yes, I know. Half the hotel knows by this time. 1039 has been robbed. Bunch. Another robbery .-' Jenniver. It's a Mr. Null from New York. He came up from the ballroom and found his room topsy turvy. Some- one had been through everything he had. Bunch. Gee! Did he lose much.'' 84 ASSISTED BY SADIE Jenniver. Watch and chain and a package of valuable pa- pers. Where in thunder is Cameron? Enter Mas. Cakley from C. E., very much excited. Mes. Cahley. Colonel Jenniver, Colonel Jenniver, I've been robbed ! Jennivek. Robbed? Mrs. Caeley. My diamond bar pin ! I had it only half an hour ago. I was sitting in the conservatory watching the dancers and I must have fallen asleep. Jennivee. Was anyone with you? Mes. Caeley. No, I was alone. Doctor Beedle had been talking with me, but he went upstairs. Jennivee. Ah! Mes. Caeley. I couldn't have dozed off for more than an instant, it was rather close in there. I had been thinking about Harriet's pearls and I became so nervous I just dreaded going upstairs alone. I Jcept thinking about her pearls and I must have fallen asleep. I woke up with the most horrible conviction that I had been robbed, and the first thing I did was to grasp for my bar pin, and it was gone! Jennivee. In the conservatory? Let us go and maybe we can find it. Mes. Caeley. I looked everywhere for it. Then I came to you. ASSISTED BY SADIE 85 Jenniver. Come, boy. {They cross to C. E.) Mes. Caeley. Oh, it's horrible. First poor Harriet's twenty thousand dollar pearl necklace, and now my diamond pin. (Exits C. E., ■followed by Jennivee and Bunch.) /-jit • \ (Music ceases.) Sadie. {Comes down R.) Hm! Things seem to be stirring around the Oceanic tonight. She had been talking to Doctor Beedle and he went upstairs. Mr. Null on the tenth floor finds his room rifled. And Doctor Beedle has a room on the tenth floor. Sadie, I guess there's more work for you, and the first thing will be to find Doctor Beedle. Enter Dow from R. Dow. Oh, you haven't gone home yet.? Sadie. Oh, yes I have. I went an hour ago and now I'm peacefully in bed dreaming about my night's dissi- I've been down to the beach. I wasn't a shining success in the ballroom. Sadie. After all the trouble I took with you, too. J should think you'd be a regular dazzling headlight in the ballroom. Dow Oh, no. I'm not a butterfly, I'm a philosopher. 86 ASSISTED BY SADIE Sadie. A philosopher from Connecticut. Dow. Oh, yes. I'm from Connecticut all right. Sadie. What part.? ^ Dow. All of me. _, SADIE. (Smiles.) You're right there with the comebacks, ain't youF So you come from that grand old State of Connecti- cut, do you.'' ^ •' Dow. Sure. Wouldn't you .J" Sadie. My father owns a chicken farm in Saybrook, Con- necticut. ^ Dow. He does ? If you're one of the samples I'll have to give the place the once over. Sadie. When I first saw you I thought you were some- body from home. _ •^ Dow. Really.? Sadie. Yes. My Uncle Wightman has a — Both. Bull dog with a face just like — (Sadie stops). Dow. Mine. I heard that in the same show you did. Sadie. (Starts to C. E.) Well, I mustn't take up any more of your time. ASSISTED BY SADIE • 87 Dow. (Follows her.) Oh, time's the only thing on earth that I have plenty of. g^^^^ {At head of settle.) You know I am getting older every minute. Dow. (Back of table down R.) And not married yet.? Sadie. (Comes down a little.) Not quite yet. „ When are you thinking about getting married.'' Sadie. Constantly. (Both laugh.) Dow. Do you expect to land a husband down here at the beach? „ SADIE. Land a husband.? Oh, no. I'd rather land a bach- elor. T^ Dow. Look me over. (Poses.) Look me over! Sadie. I'd rather overlook you. Dow. Why, what's wrong with me? Sadie. I'm not a horse doctor. Dow. And I'm not a horse. 88 ASSISTED BY SADIE Sadie. No, your ears are too long. (Puts hands to ears imitating donkey's ears.) Hee haw! Say, you're one of the four hundred, aren't you.'' Dow. No, I think .I'm one of the fifty-seven varieties. Sadie. I mean you're one of the. idle rich. You're in so- ciety, aren't you.? .^ •^ ■^ Dow. Not yet. I hope to be some day. Yes, my dear young lady, some bright day I hope to shine in so- '^^^ ^' Sadie. Take a little tip from Sadie and don't do it. There's enough shines in society now. Dow. (Coming close to her.) Honest, are you thinking of getting married.' Sadie. Well, I've had one proposal. Dow. And what did you say.? Sadie. I said good afternoon. You see, he was one of them long-faced young fellows with an ostrich neck and a voice that sounded like a squeaky door. He has a real nice complexion but ingrowing features. No, thanks, not for Sadie. Me for single blessed- ness. Dow. You ought to be able to do better than that. You're a wonderful looker. ASSISTED BY SADIE 89 Sadie. Yes, my eyesight is pretty good, thank you. Dow. Suppose the right man comes along some day.'' Sadie. When the right man comes he'll be assisted by Sadie. _, Dow. He'd have to be a prince. Sadie. No, he'd have to be an American! (Pauses.) And there isn't any chance for a millionaire. Dow. What have you got against a millionaire? Sadie. A man with a million spends all his time making more money. I'd sooner marry a twenty dollar a month clerk. We'd struggle together. Dow. Say, you're a wonder. You're the nearest ap- proach to the real thing I've seen since I struck the Oceanic. You've got all these society fluffs backed off the boards, you're all the candy, sister. Sadie. My name is Sadie Brady. Dow. Oh, I didn't mean any offense. Sadie. (Laughs.) And I didn't take any. Do you know — 90 ASSISTED BY SADIE Vicky hurries in from R. Music heard off R, Vicky. (To Dow.) Oh, here you are. ^ Dow. Right here. Vicky. I've been looking every place for you, Mr. Dow. Our little sailing party had to be called off. Dow. Isn't that too bad. Vicky. Reggy is all upset and so is Colonel Jenniver. I can't make it out at all. It's spoiled my whole even- ning, and I expected to be so happy tonight. I had this dress made especially for the ball. Dow. And, believe me, it's some dress. You look like a fairy, a little glistening fairy with diamonds for dewdrops. Vicky. (Whirls around, displaying gown.) Do you really like it? Dow. Like it.?" You look like seven million dollars. Vicky. Mother says I'm too young to wear diamonds. Dow. Not at all, not at all. Vicky. That's' just what I think. What's the use of hav- ing pretty things if you can't show them.'' ASSISTED BY SADIE 91 Null appears at R. Null, Oh, ah, er — aw. Miss Vicky. It's our dance, you know. ,, Vicky. I thought you were never coming after it. {Crosses to Mm.) Have you got over the blues yet.-* Null. Yes, quite, thank you. Vicky. Say, Reggy, why don't you tell me what's the mat- ter with you.'' -. ■^ Null. I cawn't, you know. I've had a fearful shock. I have really. All upset, you know. But I've given my word not to say anything about it. Vicky. I thought you told me you'd never have any se- crets from Vicky, -. •' Null. So I did, but this is something you're not inter- ested in. Really, it is. Vicky. I'll bet it's another girl. Null. Oh, no. Not at all. Nothing like that, I assure ^ ■ Vicky. {Gives an audible sigh of relief.) Oh, well, I'll forgive you. Come on, let's finish the dance. We'll see you later, Mr. Dow. (Exits at R. with Null.) ^ ■' Dow. I wonder what's happened to upset Reggy. 92 ASSISTED BY SADIE Sadie. Are you sure you don't know? Dow. Fact, I assure you. Sadie. Say, Mr. Dow, what business are you in? Dow. I thought I told you. I'm a philosopher. Sadie. No. I'm serious. Are you a lawyer? Dow. {Laughs.) A lawyer? No, I'm too honest to be a lawyer. I don't do anything at all just now. Sadie. Why not? jj^^ Oh, business is so unexciting. Sadie. And you have to have excitement? Dow. Positively. Couldn't get along without it. It gives me an appetite. Whenever there's no excite- ment going on I become ill, positively fll. Sadie. Why don't you be a crook — ^that's awful exciting. Dow. Do you know I've thought of that. But a crook always gets found out in the end. And prison, is such a dull place. __ ^ Sadie. You think so? t« Dow. I imagine it is. I don't speak from observation. ASSISTED BY SADIE 93 Sadie. But a real, live original crook might invent some new way to do his work. That would give you all the excitement you want. Dow. I never thought of it in just that light. (Pauses.) Probably it would. I'll think it over. Enter Senoua from R. Senora. Oh, I beg your pardon. {Exits at R.) Dow. Charming woman that Senora. Sadie. Think so? ^^ Dow. Yes, I'm sure she is. Now she has plenty of ex- citement. She's always doing something. I was one of the things she did. Sadie. You know her, then? (Music ceases.) Dow. Oh, yes. Slightly, only slightly. Her husband used to keep a pool hall in New Haven. Sadie. It must have been profitable. You'd think she was worth a million. _-» Dow. Oh, it was profitable all right. Neat little poker game in the back room. That just proves what I've been saying. He was a crook, but he got caught. He's in jail in New York now, I believe. Sadie. Her husband? 94 ASSISTED BY SADIE Dow. Yes, party by the name of Carlos. Dark handsome fellow, looks like a Spaniard, but I fancy the nearest that couple ever came to Spain was in Mulberry Street, New York. „ Sadie. Carlos ! So Carlos is her husband? Dow. Sure. Do you know him? Sadie. I've heard of him. I heard he was her brother. Dow. He wasn't when they lived in New Haven. She evidently does not remember me. Sadie. So he's her husband. Then it was a plant. Dow. I don't know what you are talking about, but if the Senora is connected with it, I'll say decidedly that Enter Harriet from R. Harriet. Miss Brady! _^ ■' Dow. I think I'll wander back in the ballroom. May I have the pleasure of escorting you home, Miss Brady ? ■' Sadie. Oh, I'm already engaged. {SUght pause.) To Bunch. ^ Dow. Too bad. Sadie. And besides you'd better stick around at the hotel tonight. You like excitement, don't you? Well, be- lieve me, you are going to see some tonight. ASSISTED BY SADIE 95 Dow. Yes? Well, I'll be ready to dictate a little in the morning. Say about eleven o'clock. Having fin- ished life and love I'm going to start on crime. (Crosses to R., bowing to Harriet.) Probably I can make that more interesting. Let me see, what is crime.'' Probably I'll have the answer all ready in the morning. (Strolls out at R.) Harriet. (Comes down C. to Sadie.) My pearls. They were in the bottom of my trunk. They're gone. „ Gone ? TT Harriet. My room has been rifled. Everything I have has been searched. My jewels have been stolen. „ . , „ Sadie. Tonight.? Harriet. Yes. The pearls were in the trunk just before dinner. Oh, what shall I do? How can I ever raise that money for Carlos? Sadie. My dear, if I were in your place I wouldn't worry about Carlos any more. Harriet. Not worry about him.? When he is in prison — alone, ill. g^^^^ I'm afraid there's a bitter disappointment in store ^'^ ' Harriet. What do you mean? Sadie. I mean that your Carlos is a married man. 96 ASSISTED BY SADIE Harklet. Married? I don't believe it. Sadie. The Seiiora is his wife. They kept a gambling house in New Haven. Haeeiet. She is his sister. „ Sadie. She is his wife. _,. Hareiet. How do you know .'' You said you didn't know her. Sadie. It's part of my business to find out things, Miss Carley. {Leads Haeeiet to R.) You'd better go back to your room and leave me alone. I want to think. I'll explain everything about Carlos in the morning. In the meantime I want to try to find out what has become of your pearls. Harriet. I'm sure you are mistaken about the Seiiora. Sadie. Never mind that now. You go to bed and try to forget all about this excitement. Good night. Haeeiet. Goodnight! (Eonts at R.) Enter Mes. Quinn from L. She is excited. Mes. Quinn. Oh, Miss Brady, I'm so glad I found you. I'm so worried I hardly know what to do at all. I've seen the thief. ^ s^^j^ (Meeting her down C.) You did? Where? Mes. Quinn. Up on the tenth floor. Oh, lemme sit down. My ASSISTED BY SADIE 97 knees are all trimbly. I came out of 1042 at the ind of the hall whin I saw him comin' round the corner duckin' this way and that. I stepped behind the linen door and he niver saw me at all, but came snakin' down the hall, looked all around quick, then whipped out a key and slipped into 1016. Sadie. Who's room is that.? Mks. Quinn. Doctor Beedle's. „ SADIE. Then Doctor Beedle is the crook. Mrs. Quinn. Ain't it awful ? And him such a nice appearin' ould gint, too. He gave me thirty-five cints for a tip only- last Chuesday momin'. I'm after lookin' fer the Colonel. "But where he is I dunno at all. There's no one in the office. _, Sadie. Just a moment, Mrs. Quinn. You have charge of the rooms on the eighth floor, don't you? Mes. Quinn. I did until this mornin'. Now I've been promoted in charge of the linens on the ninth and tenth. Sadie. (^Produces Dow's handkerchief.) Did you ever see a handkerchief like this one before? ,, „ Mrs. Quinn. (Examines it.) I did that. It's one of the kind that Mr. Dow always carries. Ain't it nate? I'm goin' to make me own boy Patsy two of thim for his birthday prisint. Mr. Dow gave me one fer a pattern. 98 ASSISTED BY SADIE ,-r 3 Sadie. He gave you oner Mrs. Quinn. He did. He's the fine, liberal young gent, ain't be? But I lost it. g^^^ W^^""^- Mes. Quinn. If I knew where I'd go back and find it. Sadie. Could you have dropped it in Miss Carley's room.'' Mrs. Quinn. Begorry, I did. That's the very place I lost it. I was swapin' the floor and I bent over clanin' under the bed and belike the handkerchief fell out of me waist. Is this it.? Bunch. He ain't very friendly to you, is he? Dow. Oh, yes. Just as friendly as a bad bulldog with a sore foot. t. Bunch. He might be a big detective, all right, but he makes mistakes just like other folks. Dow. What particular mistake do you mean? Bunch. Why that was a bum steer he gave the crowd about old Doctor Beedle, wasn't it.? no ASSISTED BY SADIE Dow. How? Bunch. .Don't you remember.'' When the lights went out that night he said he saw Doctor Beedle rush past him in the hall, and all the time the Doctor was bein' robbed his own self. Dow. He's all right now, isn't he? Bunch. Who, the Doc? Sure, he's all right. All they did to him was to smother him up in a chloroform rag and swipe his ten thousand dollars. He went to church this momin' as frisky as a six-legged June bug. Dow. Yes, I saw him in the lobby. But he seems all broken up over his loss. It must be pretty hard for a man in his position to lose ten thousand dollars. Bunch. I'll say it's hard for a man in any position. And that money wasn't his, neither. He'd collected it fer a orphan asylum out in loway. Dow. He shouldn't have had so much ready cash in his possession. Bunch. Oh, that's always the way with these tall grass Solomons, they like to keep it where they can hear it rattle. But I actually felt sorry fer the old Titus Tightwad on Friday. He jest went around all day, mumblin' to himself and lookin' fer his money. He got so excited that he wanted to have the whole house pinched. He says he's goin' home jest as soon ASSISTED BY SADIE ' lU as he gits his roll back, but that he won't stir a step until he does. -^ Dow. Well, I hope he finds it. If I were a thief I'd hate to rob the funds of an orphan asylum, even if it was in Iowa. _ JBUNCH. Some of the chambermaids think that he's the guilty party his own self, and that chloroform stunt was all put on. _ ^ Dow. Nonsense ! Doctor Beedle would never take a penny that didn't belong to him. Why, his face is as open and honest as {slight pause) my own. (Knock heard at door at R.) Dow. Come m. Enter Null from R. He comes down R. Bunch es to Hello. ffoes to door at R. ^ , Null, Dow. Hello, Reggy. Draw up a chair. Null. Thank you. _^ Smoke ? t. t Null. No, thank you. Vicky doesn't allow me more than four a day and I always smoke them up right after breakfast. ■„ Bunch. Anything else, Mr. Dow.? Dow, No, thank you. g^^^^_ Good night, sir. yet? m ASSISTED BY SADIE Dow. Good night, Bunch. (Bunch exits at R.) Null. I just thought I'd drop in. Lonesome, and all that sort of thing. Dow. I'm glad you did. Any news about the robberies Null. Not a word. _ Dow. Too bad, old man. Null. This fellow Cameron doesn't seem to do anything at all. I wrote to my lawyer at home and he told nie to hire a private detective. Dow. Good idea. I've been thinking about doing the very thing, myself. Null. H^ hadn't caught you, has he? Dow. Not yet. All my things are in the vault down- stairs. But a private detective might be a good thing to have on hand, in case anything does happen to me. Null. It isn't so much the value of the things I lost, it's the principle. A fellow doesn't like to have his room rifled, you know. Dow. Certainly not. Null. And then the way he handled Vicky. It makes me mad every time I think of it. I'd rather have given him the jewels. ASSISTED BY SADIE m Dow. Of course. -. Null. • That certainly was one eventful night, wasn't it.' The night of the ball, I mean. Dow. I'll say so. It's strange that it all happened on the same night. He hasn't taken anything since then, has he? ,. Null. Oh, yes he has. Mrs. Graham, down on the first floor lost a diamond ring yesterday. Dow, Then he's still here. Null. That lawyer fellow on the right wing had a sum of money taken this afternoon. Dow. I would think peopl^ would be more careful. Everyone knows there's a thief somewhere in the hotel. Why will people be so careless. I must write a chapter in my philosophy on What is Carelessness. Null. I just dropped in to see if you would like to sit in a little game down in Percy's room. Dow. Well, I might look on. I'm not very lucky in little games as a rule. -, There's just five of us. Dow. Wait till I slip on my coat. (Exits at L., closing the door behind him.) (As soon as he is alone Null starts up, crosses to desk drawer and tries to open it. He appears 114 ASSISTED BY SADIE baffled to find it locked. Dow is heard whistling some popular air off stage at L. Null crosses to the dresser and sees the traveling hag. He looks in it, but finds nothing. He looks in the top dresser drawer, glancing at L. now and then to assure him- self that he is unobserved.) Dow. (Outside at L.) What's the limit, Reggie? Null. (Resuming his former position.) The limit? Oh — ah, the roof, I guess. Dow enters from L. wearing coat. Dow. I don't think I'll sit in. I don't mind watching the rest of you lose your money, however. (At R. door with Null.) I rather like to watch a good, stiff game. (With his hand on the switch.) Ready? riu n -^ Null. Oh, yes. Quite. Dow switches off the lights and they go out at R., closing the door. The stage is in total darkness. There is a pause long enough to count fifteen, then the light from an electric flash light appears at the window. The window is slowly opened and Sadie climbs in, quietly flashing the light around. She comes cautiously down stage to the desk, flashes the light around the top of the desk and tries to open the drawers of the desk. She picks up a paper knife from table and tries to open the top drawer, but is unsuccessful. She crosses to dresser, flashes light around dresser. Looks at herself in ASSISTED BY SADIE 115 the glass and arranges her hair and finally sees the traveling bag. She carries it carefully to the desk and removes a pile of shirts. She finds a wallet in the bottom of the bag. She crosses to the switch and turns on the lights. Comes back to the desk and examines the papers in the wallet. Sadie. Bills and receipts. {Finds a card.) A lodge card. (Eagerly.) A letter! (She unfolds a bit of paper.) "Two shirts, three handkerchiefs — " (in a tone of exasperation). Oh! (She tries the drawer of the desk again.) Locked! (She hears footsteps in the hall, stops, listens. Runs to door at R. and listens. Tosses shirts and wallet in the bag and puts it on dresser. Switches off the lights. Flashes electric flash again and exits at L.) The door at R. is unlocked and Dow and Null enter. Dow, It won't take me a minute. (Goes to dresser after switching on the lights.) Sit down. (Null sits at R.) It's here somewhere if the mysterious Mr. Raf- fles hasn't been up to his old tricks. (Looks in trav- eling bag and finds wallet.) Here it is. (Crosses to Null and speaks lowly.) There's someone been here. Sh! Keep perfectly cool. (Crosses to door at L. and listens. Then crosses back to Null.) There's some- one in that room. We'll pretend to leave and see if we can't nab someone. (Loudly.) Now I'm ready for the little game of poker, Reggie. Null. Aren't you going — „ (Puts finger to lips indicating silence. They cross to the door at R.) m ASSISTED BY SADIE _ Null. {Loudly.) I don't think I'm going to have much luck tonight. Lucky in love and unlucky in cards, they say. (Dow switches off the lights and conceals himself behind the dresser. Null exits at R., slamming the door and talking all the while.) And ever since Miss Vaughan promised to make me the happiest of men, I. haven't won a cent at cards. It's a fact. Not a single penny. Funny, isn't it.'' {His voice dies away out- side. ) The audience thinks that Dow has left the room. There is a pause, then Sadie enters from L., crosses to the desk and starts to work on the drawer. Dow quietly moves to the switch and switches on the lights. Tableau. t» Dow. {After a pronounced pause.) Good evening. Miss Brady. Sadie. {Staring at him in terror, trying to speak.) I thought — I thought you'd gone. Dow. Are you looking for something.? Sadie. Yes, I am. I'm looking for evidence. Dow. Find any.? _, Sadie. Not yet. {Pause.) But I'm going to. Dow. Suppose I object. Then I'll arrest you. ASSISTED BY SADIE U? Dow. Oh, ho. So you're in the arresting line, are you? I thought your spelling was a little shaky for a stenographer. Perhaps you'll tell me the crime you suspect me of? r, ^ Sadie. You know as well as I do. Dow. You think I'm the hotel thief, a common jewel lifter? Sadie. I don't accuse you. I'm only looking for evidence. Dow. And suppose you found it, what would you do? Sadie. I'd do my duty. ^^^ And send me to prison? (Sadie turns away from him.) Do you know what that would mean to me? Do you realize what you are trying to do ? Suppose I am guilty, what good would it do you to send me up the river for a stretch? The high stone walls — the prison food — the lock step — the torture of it all I To be caged behind iron bars like a beast ! It's mad- dening — sickening. Listen to me. I'll never go to prison. I'll kill myself first. Sadie. Then you really are the crook.? Dow. Crook? Not at all. I was just giving you my impressions of how it would feel to be a crook.* Sadie. Who stele that money from Doctor Beedle? m ASSISTED BY SADIE Dow. I don't know. ~ Sadie. Who stole Mrs. Carley's bar pin.? Who attacked Miss Vaughan and made off with her jewels? Dow. I don't know. Sadie. You do know. The man that stole Miss Vaughan's diamonds tied his handkerchief around her face. (Produces handkerchief.) That handkerchief be- longs to you. Dow. (Tries to take it.) Much obliged. Sadie. (Retains it.) No! Dow. That handkerchief was stolen from my room. Sadie. I don't believe it. Dow. I have some more in the dresser if you'd like them. Sadie. I want the crook. Dow. Sorry. I'm all out of crooks this evening. Sadie. Sure .' Dow. Positively. Sadie. I'm not as sure as you are. Dow. Don't you think you'd better postpone your inves- tigat'on until some other time? My friend Mr. Nul] ASSISTED BY SADIE 119 might take it into his head to return, and that would be awkward, to say the least. Sadie. You can't throw a scare into me. Dow. He might think you were the thief instead of me. Sadie. I'm not afraid. Dow. By Jove! I never thought of it before. Sadie. Thought of what.!" Why, maybe you are the thief, after all. I find you trying to force the drawer of my desk after mid- night. You pose as a stenographer and then try to tell me that you are a detective. What are you do- ing: in my room? ^ ^ Sadie. Now don't you try to pull any of that stuff on me. All I have to do is scream and Colonel Jennivei and Mr. Cameron will be here in a second. Dow. So, you are working with Cameron, are you.' Sadie. I'm working alone. Now, you listen to me. You sit down there and toss me the key to this drawer. I'll soon see who you are and what you are. Dow. Oh, I couldn't do that. I always hate to have my things mussed up. _ (^Points revolver at him suddenly.) Sit down ! 120 ASSISTED BY SADIE Dow. (Sits at R. simply bending his knees and dropping into the chair before which he has been standing.) I'm down. Sadie. Dow. Now, the key. Now, really I — Sadie. Still, or I'll shoot. The key : Dow. ( Who has been holding his hands up ever since she drew the gun.) It's in my pocket. (Sadie, keeping him covered with the revolver, comes to him, and takes the key from his pocket. She backs to the desk and opens the drawer, never taking her eyes from Dow.) Sadie. (Feeling in drawer, speaks in a disappointed tone.) ^"^^^'^S- Dow. I could have told you that. Just what did you expect to find in that drawer. Miss Brady? Sadie. I expected to find Miss Vaughan's diamonds among other things. But I tell you that you are mistaken. I'm not a crook. Why should- I steal Miss Vaughan's dia- monds ? Sadie. I guess you know why. Now listen, Mr. Alonzo Dow, it will be much easier for you to give me the things you've taken and make a clean breast of the whole business. We've got the goods on you. ASSISTED BY SADIE 121 Dow. Oh, no, you haven't. Sadie. For the last time, will you make a confession? Dow. Suppose I don't.'' (Pause.) You'll call in Colonel Jenniver and your friend Mr. Cameron and have them drag me away to jail, I suppose. Sadie. What else can I do.^* If you are innocent you can prove it to them. _ But if I am innocent — Sadie. , If you have broken the law, if you are guilty, then — _. Dow. Then you'll let me take my medicine.'' Sadie. Dow. You've played your game pretty well, young lady. You tried to gain my friendship. Well, you succeeded. I thought you were one of the greatest girls I'd ever met, you made a big hit with me, aces high. I thought that sometime I might tell you all about myself — the truth, I mean — and that you would understand and forgive me and be my friend. And all the time you were lying, smiling, laughing at me, trying to wheedle me into betraying myself— - to hunt me down — to trap me — to send me to prison ! Sadie. No, no! I wasn't. I tried to think that you were innocent — I tried to warn you, but you wouldn't 122 ASSISTED BY SADIE take the warning. Now I'm going to find the proofs. (Points revolver at him.) Throw up your hands. (He complies.) I'm going to search every inch of this room, I'm going to find out once for all whether you are Mr. Alonzo Dow, millionaire, gen- tleman and clubman, or Mr. Alonzo Dow, crook, jewel thief and jail-bird. (He makes a movement.) Keep your hands up ! I know how to handle a gun, and if your hands go down I'm liable to get nervous and pull the trigger. (Comes to him.) First, I'll look in your coat pockets, please. XT I Dow. No! Enter Camekon from R. quickly. Camekon. Hello, it looks like you've trapped your bird. Enter from R. Jenniver, Bunch, Beedle and Null. Jenniver. Has he made a confession.'' Sadie. No. _ Dow. What's the meaning of this? Am I under arrest? Cameron. Not quite yet, my friend. Just now you are under suspicion. I'll make you pay for this. Cameron. We don't want any of that bunk. We want the jewels, and, bejieve me, we're going to get them. ASSISTED BY SADIE 123 Dow. I tell you I'm an innocent man. Cameron. (Roughly.) We'll soon find out how innocent you are. Keep him covered, young woman, while the Colonel and I search the room. _ Dow. There's no use to do that. I'll give in. Cameron. Good ! ^ Dow. The things are concealed here. (Crosses to switch.) Cameron. Now you're coming to your senses. (Dow switches off all the lights. Cameron rushes toward the switch and seizes Bunch, who is there. Struggle and exclamations.) Cameron. (Struggling with Bunch at R.) I've got him. ^ Jenniver. Turn on the lights, somebody. Beedle slams the door at R. but does not exit. Dow exits at L. quietly. Cameron. What was that? Bunch. Lemme alone. I ain't the burglar. Jenniver. (Feeling for the switch.) Where's that damned switch.? (Jenniver turns on the lights.) 124 ASSISTED BY SADIE Sadie. Where is he? „ Cameron. He slipped out. Down the hall. (Rushes out at R., followed hy all.) Pause. Exclamations and noise heard off stage at R. as men are searching for Dow. Note: Beedle exits at R. last of all and closes the door after him. After a pause Dow enters from R. in smoking jacket. He comes in calmly and is smoking a cigar. He crosses to desk and sits there reading in same posi- tion as at the beginning of the act. He yawns. Dow. I'm getting positively sleepy. First time in two weeks. It's wonderful what a little excitement will do. (Reads as before.) Slow Curtain. ASSISTED BY SADIE The Fourth Act. Scene : The same as the first act. Time, the morn- ing following the third act. Discovered: Sadie seated at her desk writing on the typewriter. Curtain rises rapidly without mu- sic. After a short pause Bunch enters from R. Bunch. (Coming down C.) Good morning, Miss Sadie. Sadie. Right back at you, Bunch. Bunch. Say, they ain't caught Mr. Dow yet. Sadie. No. It won't be an easy matter. Bunch. (At L. C.) It's funny how he got away. No one saw him after he rushed outa the room and slammed the door. He must have come down the back way. They didn't see him in the office. _ Sadie. Where's Cameron.? Bunch. ' He and Colonel Jenniver's been on the jump all morning and most of the night. They got all the police they could find and scoured the grounds and 125 126 ASSISTED BY SADIE then went over the whole village with a fine-tooth comb. Now they're sending wires to all the police in the surrounding towns. He can't get away. Sadie. I don't know. He was a pretty slick article, he was. T, Bunch. Nice feUer, too. I never dreamed he'd turn out to be the crook. He was awful generous and he had real nice manners. _ Sadie. You're right, Bunch. Alonzo Dow is a gentleman, even if he is a crook. Bunch. And to think you caught him. Gee, you must be awful brave, holdin' that gun right at him and every- thing. Enter Mrs. Cauley from C. E. Bunch crosses to R. and Mrs. Carley comes down C. Mrs. Cakley. {To Sadie.) Young woman, is it true that they've captured the man who stole my daughter's necklace.'' Sadie. {Rises.) Have they got him.'' Mrs. Carley, They caught him redhanded in his room last night. I knew all the time that Alonzo Dow was the thief. Did they find any of the jewels in his room? Sadie. I don't know. That isn't my department. ASSISTED BY SADIE 127 Mrs. Carley. ( Superciliously . ) What is your department, may I ask? Sadie. (Pantomimes writing on the typewriter.) Click, clickety-click, click, ding, ding! Mrs. Carley. Oh, yes. I remember. You're the typewriter, aren't you? „ Certainly not. (Puts her hand on the machine.) This is the typewriter. I am the lady stenographer. (Mrs. Carley glares at her a moment and then turns to ^UNCH.) Mrs. Carley. Boy, where have they taken him? Bunch. Taken who? ,. _, Mrs. Carley. The thief. Bunch. They ain't taken him nowhere. Just as they had their mitts on him he gives 'em the grand razzle daz- zle, bing bing! Out goes the lights and he makes a big getaway in the dark. Mrs. Carley. You mean he has escaped? Bunch. Yes, lady. That's just what I been tryin' to tell ^°^' Mrs. Carley. I want you to find Colonel Jenniver for me and tell him that Mrs. C. Christopher Carley is waiting 128 ASSISTED BY SADIE for her bar pin and her daughter's necklace. They must be returned at once. At once! Bunch. They ain't got 'em. They ain't got nothing. They're out now tryin' to get a line on Mr. Dow. Mrs. Caeley. If they had listened to me they would have ar- rested him long ago. (Crosses to C. E.) I said all the time that he was the thief. I very seldom am mistaken in my estimate of persons. If Mr. Cam- eron wants any further information tell him to call up my room. I am the lady who gave him his first clue. It was I who found Dow's handkerchief hid- den in my daughter's room. (Sweeps out C. E.) Bunch. Wouldn't that rust you? She's a reg'lar Sher- lock Holmes and Nick Carter, the never-failing de- tective all rolled into one. She's a funny old dame, ain't she.? Sadie. (At desk.) She hasn't handed me a laugh yet. Enter Jennivee. from R. He is excited. Jennivek. Boy, go down to the oiBce and tell them to call me just as soon as they get any news of Dow. Bunch. Yes, sir. (Exits at R.) Sadie. (Comes to C.) Have you searched his room yet, Colonel? ASSISTED BY SADIE 129 Jenniver. No, we haven't had time. We've been scouring the country for him since midnight. But we can't find a trace. „ Sadie. It might be a good idea to scour his room. Jenniver. That's so, it might. Sadie. He left in a hurry, you know. You'll probably find evidence enough in that room to convict a dozen men. I'll slip up there in a minute and look it over. Jenniver. Good. You know your business, I see. You're a wonderful little detective. Miss Brady. Sadie. Sh! For the present I'm just littlo Sadie, the Sassy Stenographer. Jenniver. You play your role very well. You'd make a won- derful actress. _, Sadie. You've only seen me in comedy. You orter see me in emotional roles. I kin emosh as good as any of 'em. T Jenniver. At any rate you helped us find the thief. Sadie. Yes, all we've got to do now is to find him again. Jenniver. And you'll come in for a share of the reward if ^^ '^°- Sadie. I don't want it. 130 ASSISTED BY SADIE Jenniver. Why not? ■' Sadie. I helped you catch Mr. Dow because it's part of • my business as confidential agent for the Jewelry In- surance Company. I'm not a professional thief hunter, I can't take any of the reward. And any- how you haven't got him yet. Jenniver. We'll have him before night. He can't escape. Cameron is hot on his trail. Sadie. By the way, Colonel, what agency does Cameron represent ? Jenniver. He's a private detective from New York. He isn't connected with an agency. One of the guests recom- mended him to me and gave me his address. Sadie. Which one.? ^ Jenniver. Senora Gonzales. „ Sadie. (Gives a prolonged, siffniflcant) Enter Bunch from R. Bunch. Party on the long distance calling for Colonel Jenniver. (Exits at R.) Jenniver. Maybe it's some news of Dow. (Exits at R.) Harriet enters from C. E. Harriet. (Comes down L. C.l Miss Brady ! ASSISTED BY SADIE 131 Sadie. Good morninff. Harbiet. Have you any news for me? You said you would find out the truth about Mr. Gonzales. Sadie. I have written to the prosecuting attorney. Haheiet. Have you heard from him.-' Sadie. Yes. I got a letter this morning. Carlos Gon- zales is still in prison awaiting his trial. He is in the best of health and is not ill treated or molested in any way. •' ■' Harriet. He said he was ill. Sadie. Yes, and he also said several other things that you should never have listened to. His wife — Harriet. She is not his wife. He's not a married man. Sadie. Where's the Senora.'' I'll have a little talk with her and you can hear what we say. Maybe that will convince you. -t ■' Harriet. She was with me in the dining room. She's com- Sadie. You step over there in that doorway {points to L.) and listen. I won't promise you anything, but maybe I can make you believe my assertion. (Goes to C. E. and looks off. ) She's coming. Hurry ! ing here. 132 ASSISTED BY SADIE Habriet. But— c Sadie. Never mind the buts. Get a move on yourself. Harriet exits at L. as SeSora enters from C. E. Senora. Is Miss Carley here.'' Sadie. (Looks around the room.) I don't see her. <~, „ Senora. I told her to wait for me. Sadie. Excuse me, you don't remember me, do you? Senora. (By the piano.) Remember you.'' No, I don't think so. Sadie. (Down L.) My name's Sadie Brady. I used to be in the mil- liner store in New Haven when you used to live there. _ „ Senora. Oh! (Turns aside.) Sadie. My brother got pinched in your husband's pool hall once. _, „ benora. (Goes to her.) Sh ! Not so loud. Sadie. I thought you'd remember me. Is Carlos well.? Senora. Carlos ? ASSISTED BY SADIE 133 Sadie. Sure. Your husband Carlos. You ain't forgot- ten Carlos, have you? Senoba. Oh, no. He's all right. He's living in Mexico just now. „ Sadie. Nice warm climate, Mexico. SENOaA. Sadie. Rather confining, though, isn't it? Senoea. What do you mean? Sadie. Not a thing in the world. I'm not in the millin- ery business any longer. Senoba. No? „ Sadie. No, I'm a stenographer now. But I still do a little trimming on the side. That's a pretty hat you have now. „ - Senoka. Isn't it? I got it in New York. Sadie. What did it cost? ^ „ Senora. Thirty dollars. Trimmed. Sadie. Trimmed is right. ^ _ Senoba. What are you doing here at the hotel? 134 ASSISTED BY SADIE Sadie. Just what all the rest of the girls are doing. Look- ing for a possible husband. Senora. (Laughs.) How absurd! A stenographer! Very few men would marry you. „ Very few is enough. (Slight pause.) Senora. Please don't tell anyone that you ever knew mc before. „ Sadie. Just as you please. Senora. I'll make it worth your while. I see you know more than you pretend. Don't say anything about my husband here. „ Sadie. I can be as mum as an oyster. Senora. Good. I think I can throw some little millinery jobs your way. g^^^^ Oh, thank you, Senora. Senora. (Crosses to C. E.) And remember, you have never seen me before. Sadie. I don't even see you now. In fact I can't see yoy at all. „ ^ Senora. That's good. „ ^ Sadie. When you write to Carlos in Mexico tell him you met Bill Brady's sister and give him my best regards. ASSISTED BY SADIE 135 Senoka. Yes, I will. {Exits at C. E.) Harriet appears at L. Sadie. Now, are you satisfied.-' Harriet. (Sinks in chair a/nd covers her face with her hands.) Oh, the shame, the disgrace. Sadie. Quick. Pull yourself together. Someone is com- ing. Enter Cameron from R. He comes down C. Cameron. Good morning, Miss Carley.'' Harriet. (At L.) Good morning. g, {Down R.) Have you heard anything from your man yet, Mr. Cameron ? _, Cameron.. Not a word. But he can't escape, we're watching every town and road in the country. It's only ft matter of time. He can't get away. Sadie. I'm glad of that. My share of that thousand dol- lars will come in pretty handy right now. Cameron. Your share? „ Sadie. Exactly. You find the man and I'll have a search through his room. 136 ASSISTED BY SADIE Camebon. (^Laughs good naturedly.) Oh, very well. g^^^^ Didn't I catch the thief and hold him prisoner until you came and allowed him to escape? Cameron. Say, you consider yourself wonderful, don't you? Sadie. {Goes to him.) Beside you {close to him, looks up in his face, (slight pause) I am next to nothing. Camekon. (Angrily.) You'll get next to nothing when the reward is paid. This is my case. Understand? I'm running this case. Sadie. I think Mr. Dow is doing all the running just at present. Cameron. Oh, I'll get him, I'll get him. And when I do, it'll mean a twenty-year stretch for him. (Turns to Harriet.) Say, Miss Carley, I want a word with Harriet. (Rises, surprised.) With me? Cameron. Yeah. Just & little private conversation. Sadie. Oh, don't mind me, I'm only the stenographer. Cameron. Well, do your stenography somewhere else. ASSISTED BY SADIE 137 Sadie. Don't be so peevish. I guess I got intuition enough to realize that I ain't wanted. {Crosses to L.) Go ahead with your little private conversation. Au reservoir! (Exits at L.) Cameron. Now, Miss Carley, I'm a man of business. Haeeiet. I know. You're a detective. What do you want to talk to me about.? Cameron. About your necklace. Harriet. My necklace? You've found it? Cameron. No, but I know who stole it. Harriet. Yes, I heard about your catching Mr. Dow last ° ' Cameron. Mr. Dow didn't take that necklace. You stole that necklace yourself. Harriet. Mr. Cameron, how dare you? Cameron. You tried to defraud the Insurance Company out of twenty thousand dollars. You hid the necklace in your trunk. ^r •' Harriet. Cameron. Don't lie to me. You are liable to arrest for fraud. 138 ASSISTED BY SADIE Habeiet. You won't arrest me? Cameron. • Well, I'm only a private detective. Miss Carley. I'm not in the business to send young ladies to the penitentiary. -t ^ ■' Habriet. You mean.'' „ Cameron. I'll speak plainly. I'm a man of few words. Either you pay me five thousand dollars cash or I'll make a report to the Insurance Company that will lead to your arrest. Harriet. Five thousand dollars.? I haven't got that much. I haven't anything only what Mrs. Carley allows me. Cameron. Those are my terms. Your father's estate will soon be settled. I think you can borrow the inoiley. Write your decision and leave it in my box at the office. I will wait until noon for your answer. Enter Bunch from R. Bunch. Telegram for Mr. Cameron. Telegram for Mr. Cameron. Cameron. Here I am. (Takes it.) I hope it's good news. (Tosses a dime on Bunch's tray.) Bunch. Thank you, sir. (Eadts at R.) Cameron. (Opens message and reads.) "Man' answering your description held at Liberty Crossing. We are awaiting your orders. John ASSISTED BY SADIE 139. Prescott, Constable." Good ! We?ve found our man. {Crosses to R. door.) Remember, Miss Carley, I'll only wait until noon. {Exits at R.) Enter Sadie from L. Sadie. Well wouldn't that squeeze your grandmother? HAB-iirET. You heard him.? ' Sadie. Every word. . Harriet. What shall 1 do .'' How can I raise five thousand dollars ? Oh, he'll expose me. I'll be arrested — Sadie. Forget it. I'm handling this case and, take it from me, you won't have to fork over any five thou- sand dollars to my friend Mr. Michael Cameron. Harriet. But he'll tell my step-mother, he'll — ' Sadie. - No, he won't. I think I can handle our blackmail- ing friend. You just leave it to Sadie. Harriet. , i How can I ever thank you? Sadie. By leaving me alone a minute or two. I want to think. TT Harriet. God bless you. {Exits at R.) Sadie. {At C, in deep thought.) I wonder if it's possible. {Pause.) No, it couldn't be. (Pause.) And yet — and yet^^ , 140 ASSISTED BY SADIE Enter Bunch from R. Bunch. They've got him. Sadie. Yes, I heard about it. Bunch. Over at Liberty Crossing. I'm kinda sorry, too. I liked Mr. Dow. He was a good sport even if he was a crook. Sadie. Bunch, have you got a skeleton key to the differ- ent rooms.'' Bunch. No, we ain't allowed to have 'em. Mrs. Quinn's got one. Sadie. Good. (^Hurries out at L.) Bunch. I wonder what she wants with a skeleton key. Enter Jenniver from C. E. Jennivee. Find Mr. Cameron for me. Tell him they've lo- cated our man. Bunch. He knows all about it. He got a telegram from the constable at Liberty Crossing. Jenniveb. What does the constable at Liberty Crossing know about it? The sheriff at Marysville was just talking to me over the long-distance. He nabbed him at eight o'clock this morning. Enter Cameron from R. ASSISTED BY SADIE 141 Cameron and Jenniveb. {Together.) They've got our man. {Both stop suddenly and pause. ) ^ Jenniveb,. He's at Marysville. The sheriff caught him at the station at eight o'clock this morning. Cameeon. Impossible. I just got a wire from the constable at Liberty Crossing. He's got him in the villap;e Jenniveb. Something's wrong somewhere. Let's call up Lib- erty Crossing. {Eucits at R.) Camebon. At any rate they've got him somewhere. {Exits at R.) Bunch crosses to R. and looks after them. Dow strolls in from L. He crosses to the piano and be- gins to play "Over There" with one finger. Pause. After a little while Bunch turns and crosses to the piano. _ Bunch. {Greatly startled.) Holy snakes, it's Mr. Dow ! Dow. Just a moment. Don't interrupt, please. {Fin- ishes the chorus of "Over There," then looks up tri- umphantly.) There. I always make it a rule to play that chorus over every morning before breakfast. I find it increases my capacity for the beauties of life. I only started on that selection last month and I can play the chorus all through, with scarcely any mis- takes. Pretty good, I'll say. 142 ASSISTED BY SADIE Bunch. ( Dumbfounded. ) What is it? _ Dow. I call it a little scherzo in L minor. I'm not quite sure about the key, but it sounds like L, doesn't it ? Bunch. I thought they'd got you over at Liberty Cross- ing. TX ® Dow. Oh, no. Never heard of Liberty Crossing. Bunch. They've been looking for you all night. Where you been? _ ■^ Dow. Room 816. I overslept a little this morning. Too much excitement last night. I wonder if I can per- suade the chef to give me a little breakfast. Bunch. Can I tell 'era you're here? Dow. "Certainly. Hurry along and spread the joyful tidings. Bunch rushes out at R. Mrs. Cakley enters from L. She comes down L. C, sees Dow suddenly and screams. Mrs. Carley. {Loud scream.) Ohhh! Help, murder, thieves! Dow. Shhh ! You'll wake the baby up on the tenth floor. Mrs. Carley. How dare you ? How can you stand there pnd look me in the face? ASSISTED BY SADIE 143 Dow. Since I fought the! Germans in the trenches I can look at anything. Mrs. Carley. I thought they had you under arrest. Dow. Oh, no. Your mistake. Mrs. Carley. Where is my bar pin.'' Where are my daughter's pearls .'' Dow. I haven't the least idea, Mrs. Carley. Do you mean to deny your crimes.? Look me in the face if you dare. Dow. What, look you in the face.'' Mrs. Carley. If you can. Dow. , Oh, I ,can, but I hate to spoil all my day's pleasure. Enter Jenniver, Beedle and Cameron from R., followed by Bunch. Jenniver. There he is now. Dow. Right here. Colonel. Cameron. {Crosses to Dow at L. C. and takes hold of him.) You won't get away this time. Dow. I haven't any intention of trying to get away. 144 ASSISTED BY SADIE Beedle. (Near C. E.) Search him, Mr. Cameron. See if you can find my ten thousand dollars concealed about his person. Oh, Mr. Dow, I picked you out as a man. Dow. Go ahead. _ Beedle. As a man among ten thousand. Dow. Good. I'd still be a man, even among ten million. Jennivek. {Back of Dow.) It might be a good thing to search him. Dow. I'll not object. Only wait until I've had my break- fast. I just got up. Camekon. Where have you been hiding all night.? Dow. Right up in my little beddy bed. You forgot to come back and tuck me in. Cameron. {At Dow's JR..) Well, I'll hand it to you. You're a cool customer, all right. Do you confess.? Come on, we've got you dead to rights. It'll go easier with you if you con- fess. Dow. Suppose I don't.? Cameron. You'll be sorry for it. We've got the goods on you. Understand.? ASSISTED BY SADIE 145 Dow. Oh, if that's the case, I have nothing more to say. (Hastily.) Oh, yes, I have! All. Well, say it. Speak. Dow. I want my breakfast. (Positioifis: Dow at C, Jenniver behind Mm, Cameron R. C, Mas. Caeley down L. by desk. Bee- tle up near C. E. with Bunch.) Cameron. You'll get what's x:oming to you in the village j ail. Think so? ^°^- Enter Null and Vicky from R. They drop down R. near the table, Vicky. Oh, they've got him. Have you found my neck- lace and things.? _, Cameron. Not yet. Give us time, give us time. Null. He has it concealed in his room. I received an anonymous letter yesterday saying the ■ stolen arti- cles were in Mr. Dow's room. I tried to find them last night, but was unsuccessful. Senora and Extra Ladies appear at C. E. Har- riet appears in the door at R. Jenniveu. Boy, call the policeman! Cameron. (Starts to pull Dow to rear.) Come on. I guess I can handle him alone. 146 ASSISTED BY SADIE Enter Sadie from L. She comes down L. C. Sadie. Hold on ! You leave that man alone ! Cameeon. What! SADIE. Drop him, I say. (Cameron and Dow come down a little.) Jennivee. What do you mean.? He's the thief! Sadie. Oh, no, he isn't. He's just a meddler like he said he was. You want the thief .'' There he stands ! {She points to Cameeon, who steps hack and leaves the impression that Sadie means Null, as she is point- ing dcrectly toward him after Cameeon steps back.) All. Mr. Null! Vicky. Reggie .'' I don't believe it ! Sadie. {Goes to Cameeox, covers him with revolver.) Throw up your hands. The game is up. All. Mr. Cameron ! _ Sadie. Put 'em up higher. Colonel, there's your man. Mrs. Quinn and I have just been through his room and we found everytliing. Enter Mrs. Quinn with wallets, jeweiry, jewel boxes, etc. Jennivee and Dow grab Cameron and Sadie slips handcuffs on him. ASSISTED BY SADIE 147 Beedle. The police is waiting outside. (Jenniver, Dow and Bunch lead Cameron o^f at C. E. Mrs. Quinn comes to Sadie, the others sur- round them.) Beedle. My ten thousand dollars, is it there? Mrs. Quinn. Sure, I dunno. There's a wad of money big enough to choke an elephant. Mebbe that's yours. Mrs. Carley. My bar pin! (Turns to Sadie.) Oh, you're a wonderful girl. Where did you find all the things.? Sadie. Behind a loose board in his closet. Oh, we had some hunt, take it from me. Null. But how did you ever happen to suspect Cameron ? Sadie. I heard him try to blackmail a friend of mine and I put two and two together and made one. He was no more a detective than you are. Enter Jenniver and Dow from C. E. Jenniver. He's confessed everything. But I can't understand how he got Miss Carley's necklace. He didn't get in town until after that was stolen. Harriet. My necklace wasn't stolen. I — 148 ASSISTED BY SADIE Sadie. She simply misplaced it. She put it away some- where and forgot where she put it. But Cameron found it. You've got it there, haven't you, Mrs. Quinn ? Mrs. Quinn. Sure, I have. Them's the purtiest beads I iver laid me two eyes on. Jenniver. Come into my office and claim your property. {Shakes hands with Sadie.) Remember, you get that thousand dollars reward. Sadie. I'll never forget it, believe you me. Jenniver. Right this way. {Exits at L., followed hy all ex- cept Sadie and Dow.) Dow. If it hadn't been for you they'd have dragged me off to jail and I'd never gotten my breakfast. Sadie. Why don't you go and get it now.? Dow. Can't, I'm busy. Sadie. What do you mean busy.'' Dow. My usual occupation. Meddling. Sadie. Say, Mr. Dow, who are you, really.? A detective.? ASSISTED BY SADIE 149 Dow. No, I'm just a man concealed beneath the deepest disguise ever known to history. Sadie. What's that? Dow. I'm exactly the sort of an eccentric nut that I allow people to think I am, and Miss Sadie, I'm your prisoner. Sadie. My prisoner.'' Where do you get that stuff.'' Dow. Your prisoner for life, if you'll take me. Sadie, I wouldn't know what to do with you. Dow. I'll admit I'm not very useful, but I make a lovely ornament for the parlor. But, I suppose you can't see me for a minute. {Starts to C. E. slowly. She looks at him and holds out her arms when his back is turned. He turns and she drops her arms and turns away.) Can you? (Pause.) Can you? Sadie. (Slowly.) Maybe I can. I got awful good eyesight! (He Dow. rushes to her.) You mean it? Sadie. You haven't asked me anything yet. Have you got to be assisted by Sadie? 150 ASSISTED BY SADIE Dow. (Close to her.) No! Sadie, will you — {he whispers in her ear). Sadie. (Pulls his ear down and whispers in it.) Yes! (He kisses her.) Curtain. This Hero Business Ruth Welty and Cecil W. Secrest COMEDY in 3 ac;ts; 5 men, 3 women. Time, ZU, hours. Scene: 1 interior. CHARACTERS Mrs. Cora Fisher. .Sally's doting and ambitious mother Molly The Fishers' maid Jimmie O'Neill In love with Sally Sam Fisher Sally's fond father Sally Fisher A small-town belle J. Randall Young Her fascinating city beau Willis Broom Of the Business Men's Association C. H. Miles Big Bill Evans' press agent What chance has a mere small-town drug-store clerk to shine in the eyes of his beloved when pitted against a fascinating promoter from the city, with a high-powered motor car and unlimited nerve? Such is the plight in which poor, modest Jimmie O'Neill finds himself when his employer's daughter Sally, whom he silently adores, returns from the city. Sally's father, seeing how things are going and being strong for Jimmie, persuades his clerk to pose as an aviator and the pal of the famous air pilot, Big Bill Evans. Thus overnight, Jimmie, to his horror, be- comes the hero of Crescent Falls. Then his troubles begin in earnest. The local Business Men's Associa- tion wants him to give a flying exhibition; then to cap the climax of his misery. Bill Evans, the great aviator, comes to Crescent Falls, and arrangements are made for Jimmie to do flying stunts with him. How he extricates himself from the web of deceit in which he is caught, placates the great aviator, exposes his smooth promoter rival, and wins Sally — these are the chief features of a drama good for a solid evening of thrills and laughter. Cast includes Sally's ambi- tious mother, the great aviator's avenging press agent, and a sentimental gawk of a hired girl in love with Jimmie. Professional stage rights reserved, and a royalty of fifteen dollars required for every amateur performance. Price, Per Copy, 50c T. S. Denison & Company, Publishers 623 South Wabash Avenue CHICAGO What Anne Brought Home BY Larry E. Johnson COMEDY in 3 acts; 5 men, 4 women. Time, 2% hours. Scene: 1 Interior. CHARACTERS Sam Bennet A small-town lumber merchant Mrs. Hattie Bennet His wife Alma Bennet His youngest daughter Herb Hardcastle . . . Alma's young man, with ambitions Henry Bennet Sam's brother Anne Bennet Purdy Sam's second daughter Dudley Purdy What Anne brought home Nina Bennet Sam's eldest daughter J. T. Raymond .... General manager of an electric power company Fresh from a prosperous run on Broadway and a remarkably successful career in professional stock, this capital comedy of small-town life well deserves its populartty with the theater-going public. What Anne brings home from Valpo, to the consternation of her family, is a brand new husband, with whom she settles down in an already overcrowded household. Henceforward, Dudley, the young husband, has to sleep with the cranky Uncle Henry and endure the gibes of his in-laws, who make no secret of their contempt for him and sneer at his pet project of establishing a fish farm. The truth is that as a go- getter Dudley is a total loss. Nevertheless he per- sists in the fish farm enterprise, in the interest of which he secures an option on some property of his father-in-law, thereby temporarily blocking the sale of the land to a power-company magnate and in- curring the wrath of not only the in-laws but Anne herself. How he finally manages to put oVer a big deal with the magnate, straighten out two tangled love affairs, placate the in-laws, and square himself with Anne are details of as yividly human and humor- ous a story as ever delighted an audience. Cast has a rich variety of comedy types including Anne's mat- ter-of-fact mother; her dryly humorous father; Herb, the swaggering go-getter; and the irascible Uncle Henry, whose particular bug is "cramberry" culture. Professional stage rights reserved, and a roy- alty of twenty-five dollars required, for every amateur performance. Price, Per Copy, 30c T. S. Denison & Company, Publishers 623 South Wabash Avenue CHICAGO OTHER GREAT PL/CfS Su/eehi/Bier Trail TRAIi- 7Ae WindingRoad Conledy-drama in 3 acts, by LilUad- .Moktimeb; 6 m., 5 w. Time, 2^ hrs., iScene ; 1 interior. The heart-gripping tale of two orphaned young people who advertise , for an old-fashioned mothe^ and^ thereby introduce a pair of notori- ous but lovable crooks ijito tiieir home. Royalty, ten dollars. Price, 50 Cents Comedy in 3 actsi by Labkt E. John- son- ; 7' ni., 6 w. I'imej 2% hrs. Scene : i interior. To prevent her caddish fiaac£ from cheating her out of ar fortune, a spirited bride-elect marries a practically unsown bridegroom. BrSezy drama of the, Canadian Northwest, fuU of 'stirring situations and laughter. Royalty, fifteen dollars, ' \ Price, 30 Cetits %6 End ofihe L,ane Comedy-drama in 3 acts, by Lilman Mdetimer; S m., 6 w. Tinaie, 2*/^ hrs. -Scenes: 1 interior, 1 exterior. The stir- ring adventures of a penniless wanderer, who tnes to gain a home and a fortune, by j>aSsing himself off as the long^lost soh of a wealthy fartaier, Royalty, ten dollars. _ Price, 30 Cents 623 Jou+h Watoash ^^>y&. Ci-i ic:<^«.Ga! T(>r-728' X>Gnison's Roycilty — ^haVe been carefully selected for their high degree of dramatic strength and their practicaUe acting qualities. The majority of them have been i specially written . for amateurs by Experienced plfiywrights yrith professional successes to their credit. The plays have been edited with unusual care, particularly as to stage direjcttions, which are so complete, clearly Expressed, and easily understood that they almost direct themselvesi Above all, the Denison roy- alty play* have the swift movement, the humor, and this emotidnal qualities that appeal strongly to young players and grip the attention of audiences throughout an evening's entertainment. ■m ■-,\\ T. S. Denison 6- CompanV PullHhn 623 S. Wabash Ave. Cmigago