V5 
 
 CORNELL 
 
 UNIVERSITY 
 
 LIBRARY 
 
 THE 
 
 Joseph Whitmore Barry 
 dramatic library 
 
 THE GIFT OF 
 TWO FRIENDS 
 
 OF Cornell University 
 1934 
 
__ „^^_ Cornell University Library 
 
 PS 3515.0125E9 1915a 
 
 1924 022 478 311 
 
 
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 PRINTED IN USA 
 
Cornell University 
 Library 
 
 The original of tliis book is in 
 the Cornell University Library. 
 
 There are no known copyright restrictions in 
 the United States on the use of the text. 
 
 http://www.archive.org/details/cu31924022478311 
 
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CORNELL 
 
 UNIVERSITY 
 
 LIBRARY 
 
 THE 
 
 Joseph Whitmore Barry 
 dramatic library 
 
 THE GIFT OF 
 TWO FRIENDS 
 
 OF Cornell University 
 
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 Copyright, 19 14, by 
 George V. Hobart 
 
 Copyright, 19 15, by 
 The H. K. Fly Company 
 
 In its present form this play is dedicated to the 
 reading public only, and no performances of it may 
 be given. Any piracy or infringement will be pros- 
 ecuted in accordance with the penalties provided 
 by the United States Statutes : — 
 
 Sec. 4966. — Any person publicly performing or representing 
 any dramatic or musical composition, for which copyright 
 has been obtained, without the consent of the proprietor of 
 the said dramatic or musical composition, or his heirs or 
 assigns, shall be liable for damages therefor, such damages 
 in all cases to be assessed at such sum, not less than one 
 hundred dollars for the first and fifty dollars for every 
 subsequent performance as to the Court shall appear Just. 
 If the unlawful performance and representation be wilful 
 and for profit, such person or persons shall be guiylt of a 
 misdemeanor, and upon conviction be Imprisoned for a 
 period not exceeding one year. — U. S. Revised Statutes, 
 Title 60, Chap. 3. 
 
To 
 The Three 
 Who Heard It First 
 
CONTENTS 
 
 PAGE 
 
 The First Episode 
 "In the Land Where Dreams Begin" 9 
 
 The Second Episode 
 "In the Street of Vacillation" 19 
 
 The Third Episode 
 
 "The Primrose Path" 28 
 
 The Fourth Episode 
 "In the Corridors of Chance" 56 
 
 The Fifth Episode 
 "The Street of Disillusion" 75 
 
 The Sixth Episode 
 
 "In the House of Last Resort" 83 
 
 The Seventh Episode 
 
 "The Street of Remorse" Ill 
 
 The Eighth Episode 
 "The House of Lost Souls" 115 
 
 The Ninth Episode 
 "The Street of Forgotten Days" 122 
 
 The Tenth Episode 
 "In the Land Where the Dreamer Wakens" 125 
 
First Episode. 
 
 Second Episode, 
 
 THE CAST 
 
 (In the order of their appearance.) 
 Love 
 Hope 
 Youth 
 Ambition 
 Experience 
 Pleasure 
 Opportunity 
 Gush 
 Drivel 
 Excitement 
 Travel 
 Song 
 Sport 
 Fashion 
 Blueblood 
 Style 
 Frivolity 
 Conceit 
 Snob 
 Pride 
 Beauty 
 Deceit 
 Slander 
 Wealth 
 Intoxication 
 Passion 
 
 Third Episode. 
 
RouletteDealers" 
 
 Good Nature 
 
 Caution 
 
 Venture 
 
 Superstition 
 
 System 
 
 Stupid 
 
 Despair 
 
 Waiter 
 
 Chance 
 
 Careless 
 
 Thoughtless 
 
 Work 
 
 Grouch 
 
 Frailty 
 
 Makeshift 
 
 Rogue 
 
 Dissolute 
 
 Sneak 
 
 Illiterate 
 
 Reckless 
 
 Cheat 
 
 Indolence 
 
 Rascal 
 
 Poverty 
 
 Law 
 
 Delusion 
 
 Habit 
 
 Degradation 
 
 Crime 
 
 Fourth Episode. 
 
 Fifth Episode. 
 
 Sixth Episode. 
 
 Seventh Episode. 
 Eighth Episode. 
 
George V. Hobart 
 
Sixth Episode 
 FraIlty: "It's dark, ain't it?— black dark for both of us" 
 
 PacrplOS 
 
Seventh Episode 
 
 Delusion: I've got a forget-factory right around the corner. 
 
 Come on, Bo, I'll ptit you wise." 
 
 Page 113 
 
Tenth Episode 
 Love: "I've waited when everv hour was an aee and everv 
 
THE FIRST EPISODE. 
 
 IN THE LAND WHERE DREAMS BEGIN. 
 
 Description : The Home of Love, on the Hilltop. There 
 is a small, old-fashioned cottage at Left. 
 It is covered with vines and rambler roses, 
 A practical door and window in cottage. 
 A rustic fence crosses stage obliquely. A 
 country lane outside of the fence. Inside 
 the fence and around the house is the 
 flower garden. A rustic bench is near the 
 fence. Peach and apple trees are in blos- 
 som. On the side of the hill in the dis- 
 tance is an old-fashioned country church. 
 
 Discovered: Love, standing alone by the fence, looking 
 off down the lane as the curtain rises. 
 Birds singing in the trees in the distance. 
 Love turns presently and sits on the 
 rustic bench near the fence — sighs. Enter 
 Hope. 
 
 hope 
 Good morning, Love, dear — isn't it a perfect morning! 
 
 love 
 Yes, Hope, and I'm happy because the morning is so perfect. 
 Youth is going away and I want him to have clear skies 
 for his journey. It's lucky, isn't it, Hope, for him to 
 start out for the Big World with sunshine all about him I 
 hope 
 Of course it's lucky. But are you really happy or just pre- 
 tending? 
 
 (9) 
 
10 EXPERIENCE 
 
 LOVE 
 
 Well, I don't suppose I can be really and truly happy when 
 the one I am fondest of in all the world is going away — 
 but I won't let him see that I'm unhappy. 
 
 HOPE 
 
 That's the way to do. 
 
 LOVE 
 
 And while he's gone — ^well, I'll have you, won't I, Hope? 
 
 HOPE 
 
 Yes, Love, I'll be with you every minute. 
 
 LOVE 
 
 I wonder what it's like out there in the Big World ? 
 
 HOPE 
 
 Oh, it's a wonderful place. And Success will be waiting for 
 him right around the first corner. 
 
 LOVE 
 
 I know that — I'm sure of it — but he'll meet other people, 
 won't he? 
 
 HOPE 
 
 Of course — ^he'll meet a lot of people. 
 
 LOVE 
 
 Will he meet any girls, do you think? 
 
 HOPE 
 
 I suppose so. 
 
 LOVB 
 
 Pretty girls ? 
 
 HOPE 
 
 Very likely ! 
 
EXPERIENCE 11 
 
 LOVE 
 
 Do you think he'll meet any girl he'll like better than he 
 likes me? 
 
 HOPE 
 
 Of course not. Aren't you his first sweetheart? 
 
 LOVE 
 
 Yes, but a young man very seldom marries his first sweet- 
 heart — didn't you know that? 
 
 HOPE 
 
 No. 
 
 LOVE 
 
 Well, it's true — I read it in a book. 
 
 HOPE 
 
 Don't you believe it. He'll come back to you and you'll live 
 happily ever after. 
 
 (Youth's whistle heard off.) 
 
 LOVE 
 
 There he is now! 
 
 {Runs to gate— looks off— calls — " Woo-hoo I "—Answer- 
 ing whistle heard off.) 
 
 Hope, dear, of course I don't want you to go, but — I just 
 happened to think of something I wanted to say to him. 
 
 {Whistle heard off — nearer — LovE answers -."Woo-hoo.") 
 
 Of course, dear, you may stay right here if you want to, but 
 I was thinking that 
 
12 EXPERIENCE 
 
 HOPE 
 
 {laughing) 
 I understand perfectly. 
 
 (Hope exits.) 
 
 {Whistle heard quite close — LovE answers it. YoUTH runs 
 on, speaking as he enters the gate.) 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Love, dear! 
 
 LOVE 
 
 {putting her arms around his neck) 
 Youth! 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 {Embraces her — kisses her) 
 Love, dear! You see, I'm away ahead of time — aren't you 
 glad? And you're not going to be unhappy when I'm 
 gone, are you. Love ? 
 
 (Love tries hard to be brave and smiles up at him — 
 shaking her head slowly in reply to his question.) 
 
 You're smiling — isn't that splendid! Come, let's sit here 
 together, for we have so many things to talk about. 
 
 {They sit on bench — he kisses her.) 
 
 Do you know what you are? — the dearest sweetheart in all 
 the world! 
 
 {Music — very faint and low—^is heard from the church 
 across the valley.) 
 
EXPERIENCE 13 
 
 LOVE 
 
 Listen ! 
 
 (Pause — both listen to music in distance.) 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 It seems as though the little church were whispering good- 
 bye to me. 
 
 LOVE 
 
 No, Youth, that's the way the spirit of your dear dead 
 mother wishes you God-speed on your journey. 
 
 (Pause — both listen until music dies away.) 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Yes, dear; that's the way she always comes back to me — in 
 the voice of music. 
 
 (His tone changes.) 
 I had almost forgotten! 
 
 {Holds up left hand, showing ring on his little finger.) 
 Look, Love ! the little ring I bought you to remember me by. 
 
 (He gives her the ring.) 
 
 LOVE 
 (looking at it) 
 To remember you by! Oh, Youth, Youth, dear! I don't 
 need a ring for that. I'll remember you by the sun that 
 rises and sets — I'll remember you by the breezes that 
 whisper messages from you as they pass me by — I'll re- 
 member you by the blue sky that bends above us, and 
 the summer rain beating upon the roof will sing your 
 name to me. Through all the daylight hours I'll walk 
 
14 EXPERIENCE 
 
 with you through the Halls of Memory and when the 
 night comes and the shadows deepen my spirit shall search 
 for yours amidst the darkness. 
 
 {She puts her arms around him and her head on his 
 shoulder.) 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Oh, Love, dear, I didn't mean that you'd forget me — I — Oh, 
 please, Love — look at me and smile again. 
 {She looks up and tries to smile.) 
 Won't you w^r it, just as a keepsake? 
 
 LOVE 
 
 {taking the ring and kissing it several times.) 
 No, Youth, but I'm going to ask you to wear it — always/ 
 See!' I've kissed it — now I'm going to put it on your 
 finger and make a wish to keep evil away from you while 
 you're away from me ! 
 
 {She raises his hand to her lips and holds it there as she 
 makes the wish.) 
 There, Youth, dear; I've made my wish — and when you 
 come back 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 And when I come back if I'm not able to put this little ring 
 on your finger then you'll know me for an unworthy 
 pilgrim whose soul is bruised and tarnished by contact 
 with the world I'm setting out to conquer. 
 
 LOVE 
 
 Oh, but come back, even bruised or tarnished — come back. 
 Youth — please don't forget me! 
 
EXPERIENCE 15 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Forget you! — does the river forget to roll on to the sea? — 
 do the stars forget to shine at night ? — do the birds forget 
 to sing in Springtime? Forget you — never — never — 
 through pleasure or pain, through joy or sorrovvr, through 
 weal or woe — and the good God lets me live ! 
 (He embraces her.) 
 (Hope enters from the cottage.) 
 
 HOPE 
 
 Remember, children, there must be no tears at parting!' 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 (Goes to Hope — kisses her on forehead) 
 Hope, my best of sisters! 
 
 (Ambition enters at Right — stands outside the fence.) 
 
 AMBITION 
 
 Come, Youth ; you've tarried over long. You said the parting 
 would be brief. 
 (Ambition comes through the gate and into the scene.) 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Yes, Ambition, I'm quite ready now. 
 
 LOVE 
 
 {runs to Youth — puts her arms around him passionately) 
 Oh ! I can't be brave — I can't ! I can't ! 
 
 youth 
 Oh, Love, dear, you're crying — what's the matter ? 
 
 LOVE 
 
 He frightens me, I tell you. I don't want you to go out into 
 the big world with him. 
 
16 EXPERIENCE 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 But Ambition is my friend — he's eager and anxious to do 
 great things for me in the big world — things that can 
 only be done by him. — I must go with him, Love f 
 
 LOVE 
 
 I know — ^but I never saw him until now — and I'm fright- 
 ened. Don't you understand — can't you see — ^Ambition 
 is cold and cruel and heartless — and you'll be all alone 
 with him. — Oh, don't go — ^Youth, just think — who will 
 comfort you when you're weary? — ^who will bring ten- 
 derness to your bedside when you're ill? — Please, Youth, 
 don't go! 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 But, Love, I shall never be weary and I shall never be ill — 
 I am Youth and ills and weariness can never vex me. Oh, 
 Love, why do you stand between me and Ambition ? 
 
 LOVE 
 
 Because I hate him — ^he is taking you away from me. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 But speak to him, please! 
 
 LOVE 
 
 No; I don't want to speak to him. We have nothing in 
 common. Ambition is too selfish. 
 
 AMBITION 
 
 {with a sneer) 
 It is quite impossible for me to be more selfish than Love. 
 
EXPERIENCE 17, 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 And I was so sure you'd be such good friends — I'm disap- 
 pointed. Don't you remember that ever since we were 
 little children we've roamed these hills together and 
 dreamed our golden dreams! 
 
 AMBITION 
 
 Come on, Youth ; come on ! 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 And always in those dreams together we decided that I must 
 go out into the Big World and get right into the thickest 
 of the fight. 
 
 LOVE 
 
 Yes, but always I was to be by your side — always — tiQ Am- 
 bition came. Please let me go with you \ 
 
 AMBITION 
 
 No, no; you would be in the way. {To Youth) Cotne on, 
 Youth; come on! 
 
 YOUTH 
 He means, Love, that only he can help me climb those peri- 
 lous heights. See, I have money to start with — ^Ambition 
 says it's plenty to take me up and up to the very summit 
 of glory. Soon I'll be back — laurel-crowned and rich — ■ 
 and then just you and I together. Love! 
 
 AMBITION 
 
 Come on, Youth; there's time for Love later on. 
 
18 EXPERIENCE 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Good-bye, dear Love ! And, Hope, you'll be ever with her, 
 won't you? 
 
 HOPE 
 
 I'll never leave her. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 God bless you! 
 
 AMBITION 
 
 Come on, Youth! 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Look, Love, to the East — it is the morning of life and every 
 cloud is rosy with promise. Good-bye! 
 
 (Youth embraces Love — then gently sends her to Hope. 
 Love puts her arms around Hope.) 
 
 LOVE 
 
 ( tearfully ) 
 Oh, Hope ! Hope ! you are all I have left now. 
 
 youth 
 {turning to Ambition) 
 Go on, Ambition, I'll follow you up the ladder of the skies 
 and look down upon the world from your highest pin- 
 nacle — go on — I follow! 
 
 (Ambition goes out through the gate — ^Youth follows. 
 Together they walk proudly away down the country 
 lane. Love cries in Hope's arms. ) 
 
 the end of the episode. 
 
THE SECOND EPISODE 
 
 IN THE STREET OF VACILLATION 
 
 Description: An impressionistic view of the Big World. 
 
 Discovered: Ambition is walking on the scene, followed 
 by Youth. 
 
 AMBITION 
 
 Come on, Youth; you must follow closer; I have no time for 
 those whose footsteps falter. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 My footsteps haven't faltered — but I must look about me 
 once in a while. 
 
 (Experience enters from the Left. He stands looking 
 at Youth with a kindly smile on his face.) 
 
 The Big World is very wonderful to me. In my fondest 
 dreams it never seemed so grand and vast and awe-com- 
 pelling. Its very bigness frightens me and in my heart 
 there is a feeling of vague unrest. All about me the 
 people hurry — to and fro, they hurry — endlessly, eternally 
 hurrying, passing me by unnoticed, with never a smile of 
 greeting, like shadows fading in a fog — their faces for- 
 ever reflecting their inmost thoughts of money, money, 
 money! And I, who am about to join this horde of 
 hurrying humanity and become a shadow in a land of 
 (19) 
 
20 EXPERIENCE 
 
 shadows, feel in my soul a loneliness unspeakable. The 
 Big World is very glorious and thrills me even as the 
 stories of deeds of valor in the War of the Nations thrill 
 me, but in this one weak moment my heart is yearning 
 for the Hilltop and for the rustle of the wind through 
 the sycamores. I feel like a coward as the battle begins; 
 afraid of the noise and the fury of the fight — I want to 
 turn back and '■un to the comforting arms of Love. — I 
 want to see again the twilight deepen over the quiet 
 valley and hear the last sweet call of the distant robin to 
 its mate ; I want to be where there is no selfishness in the 
 hearts of those who smile a blessing on me and where the 
 only sorrows that we know are those that are sent to us 
 by a kind and loving God ! 
 
 AMBITION 
 
 Come! come! you are homesick — that is all. The World is 
 before you — make yourself its master. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Yes, yes, I know, it's gone now and I 
 
 {Pulls himself together.) 
 I'm all right. Go on, I follow! 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 {taking Youth's hand and shaking it) 
 So those are your impressions of the Big World J And well 
 put, my boy, well put ! 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 {coldly) 
 Pardon me — I don't know you, sir! 
 
EXPERIENCE 21 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 Experience is my name. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Still I don't know you. 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 But you're going to — ^you're going to know me very well — 
 we're going to be great pals, my boy ! 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 What are you? 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 I am the champion school teacher of the world. 
 
 AMBITION 
 
 Come on, Youth — ^we're losing time. 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 Who is your — Oh, of course, Ambition ! I thought I recog- 
 nized that voice! 
 
 (Crosses to him.) 
 What are you up to now — you dear old rascal ! 
 
 AMBITION 
 
 Why do you delay us? — I am leading this boy on to fame 
 and fortune. 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 Delay you, God forbid! I shall journey with you if for no 
 other reason than the exercise. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 (to Experience) 
 I don't like the way you speak to him. Ambition is my 
 friend and you're a stranger. 
 
22 EXPERIENCE 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 But in the end / shall be your best remembered friend. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 I want you to know that I love and trust and believe in 
 Ambition. 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 (_to Ambition) 
 I, too, love you, though I know you to have such fickle 
 qualities that friendship shudders at your name; I, too, 
 trust you, though I know you to be the most accom- 
 plished cheat and hypocrite of all the ages; and I, too, 
 believe in you though I know you to be the most glorious 
 liar that ever inflamed the mind of man. 
 
 ambition 
 
 This is extremely annoying Come, Youth, we must go. 
 
 (Pleasure, a beautiful woman, enters from the Left.) 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 {seeing her — speaks to Youth) 
 One moment! 
 
 {Goes to Pleasure) 
 Good morning, Pleasure! I'm delighted to see you — ^how 
 are you? 
 
 pleasure 
 A trifle weary this morning, dear friend. No sleep — and the 
 wine too sweet — besides, those new dances — ^they are so 
 acrobatic — they tire me dreadfully. 
 {Indicating Youth.) 
 But who is this? Why does he gaze so longingly in my 
 direction ? — I hope he isn't flirting with me I 
 
EXPERIENCE 23 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 No, no ; he doesn't know the meaning of the word. 
 
 {To Youth.) 
 Youth, come here ; Pleasure, may I present Youth ! 
 
 PLEASURE 
 
 Oh, this is a charming adventure. Youth, and innocent, 
 Experience tells me! 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 An incredible paradox in these days, isn't it ? What with the 
 Traffic in Souls in the Movies ; Houses of Bondage in the 
 legitimate; sex hygiene in the public schools and eugen- 
 ics in the parlor, innocence has fled, shame-faced, to the 
 wilderness. 
 
 PLEASURE 
 
 Absolutely true. All the children of my acquaintance arc 
 middle-aged roues. 
 
 {Enter, from Right, Opportunity^ a plain-faced woman, 
 clad in sombre grey — she crosses Ambition — pauses- 
 then turns to him.) 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 (laughing) 
 It's easy to see he's never met you before — the boy is fas- 
 cinated. 
 
 {The three laugh and chat together.) 
 
 ambition 
 {as Opportunity turns and faces him) 
 My best friend — Opportunity ! 
 
24 EXPERIENCE 
 
 OPPORTUNITY 
 
 I must speak with Youth. I bring him good news. 
 
 AMBITION 
 
 He is yonder. Speaic to him ! 
 
 PLEASURE 
 
 My dear Youth, you are splendid!' — And this evening you 
 will join me in the Primrose Path, won't you? 
 
 OPPORTUNITY 
 
 Youth! 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 The Primrose Path— Oh! I'd love to. 
 
 OPPORTUNITY 
 
 Youth! 
 
 PLEASURE 
 
 I must show you ofi to my friends. 
 
 EXPERIENCS 
 
 Be careful how you praise Youth or they'll be your friends 
 no longer. 
 
 {The three laugh and chat in pantomime.) 
 
 OPPORTUNITY 
 
 Youth! 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 {turns — sees Opportunity) 
 Oh, Opportunity — how are you? You want to speak to 
 Youth ? Pardon me ! 
 
 {To Youth.) 
 This lady wishes to speak with you. 
 
EXPERIENCE 25 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Not now — wait till Pleasure finishes her story. 
 
 (Youth and Pleasure chat in pantomime — Experi- 
 ence turns to Opportunity — shrugs his shoulders — 
 turns to Youth and Pleasure and joins their conver- 
 sation in pantomime.) 
 
 opportunity 
 (turns slowly to Ambition) 
 I have called Youth but he does not heed me. I can wait 
 no longer. Farewell! 
 
 {Opportunity walks off slowly at Right.) 
 
 ambition 
 Oh, the fool ! He dallies there with Pleasure and lets Op- 
 portunity leave him. 
 
 (Loudly.) 
 Youth! Youth! 
 
 youth 
 (rubbing his eyes — as though waking from a dream). 
 Yes, yes, who called? 
 
 ambition 
 I called you. 
 
 youth 
 Oh, my dear friend ! 
 
 (To Pleasure.)' 
 Forgive me, please — ^I must go 1 
 
 pleasure 
 (holding Youth) 
 But to-night do not fail me! 
 
26 EXPERIENCE 
 
 AMBITION 
 
 Pleasure, let that boy alone! 
 
 PLEASURE 
 
 Oh, you old skin and bones — behave! 
 {To Youth) 
 Remember, to-night — the Primrose Path!' 
 
 {Laughs invitingly.) 
 
 AMBITION 
 
 Come, Youth, the road to fame! 
 
 {Points off at Right.) 
 
 PLEASURE 
 
 {insinuatingly) 
 The Primrose Path ! 
 
 AMBITION 
 
 The Road to Fame ! 
 
 PLEASURE 
 
 Remember, to-night, the Primrose Path ! 
 
 {Laughs and walks off at Left.) 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 That way the Road to Fame — this way the Primrose Path 
 of Pleasure. In her eyes I saw the promise of most won- 
 derful delights and she says the path is strewn with 
 thistle-down and the scent of wild flowers fills the air. 
 And the other road is long and straight and narrow and 
 there are brambles at either side to tear the flesh — Oh, 
 God! what shall I do? What shall I do? 
 
EXPERIENCE 27 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 (putting his arm around Youth's shoulder) 
 My boy, you'll do just as countless millions have done before 
 you — you'U reach out presently and grasp poor old blind 
 Destiny by the hand and then you'll take whichever path 
 he chances into ! 
 
 THE END OF THE EFISODE. 
 
THE THIRD EPISODE 
 
 IN THE PRIMROSE PATH 
 
 Description: A golden Cabaret in that region known as 
 the Haunts of Pleasure. Small tables on 
 both sides at which men and women are 
 dining. In the Center is an archway 
 through which may be seen a wide path- 
 way, bordered on each side by primroses, 
 leading to a fountain. Through the large 
 oval windows at the Right and Left of 
 the room glimpses may be seen of a gar- 
 den in the moonlight. 
 
 Discovered: When Curtain rises the men and women are 
 paired off at the eight tables as follows : 
 
 Womea Men 
 
 Song (Table No. 1 — Down Stage R.) Sport 
 
 Beauty (Table No. 2— Right) Style 
 
 Slander (Table No. 3 — Right) Snob 
 
 Frivolity (Table No. 4 — Right) Conceit 
 
 Fashion (Table No. 1 — Down Stage L.) Blueblood 
 
 Excitement (Table No. 2 — Left) Travel 
 
 Deceit (Table No. 3— Left) Gush 
 
 Pride (Table No. A — Left) Drivel 
 
 ( The lights in the room are subdued and on each table there 
 are small electric lamps with red shades. The characters 
 (28) 
 
EXPERIENCE 29 
 
 are dining and chatting quietly. Presently when orchestra 
 strikes up a "one-step" knives and forks are dropped hur- 
 riedly and all the characters get up and dance. When 
 the dance is over the characters go back to the tables and 
 resume dining. Pleasure appears, standing in the arch- 
 way in the background.) 
 
 PLEASURE 
 
 My dear friends! 
 
 {They all rise.) 
 
 Oh, please/ don't get up! Go right ahead with the Battle 
 of the Bottle and the Bird. 
 
 {Omnes, except GuSH and Drivel, sit at tables and con- 
 tinue dining.) 
 I merely wanted to see if you were all happy! 
 
 (Gush and Drivel go to Pleasure. Drivel keeps jab- 
 bering away all the time, but nobody understands a word 
 he says.) 
 
 gush 
 I want to tell you, Pleasure 
 
 pleasure 
 Yes, Gush — is everybody all right? All right, Drivel, I'm 
 listening. 
 
 drivel 
 {jabbering) 
 Wonderful part about it is — temperature just about right — 
 tried to dance Tango but I stepped on her foot — he was 
 here early in the evening — never could understand — I 
 
 told him I wore size 36 
 
 {And so on ad lib during the scene.) 
 
30 EXPERIENCE 
 
 GUSH 
 
 I want to tell you, Pleasure, that the wine is perfect — Cha- 
 teau Viviana, 76 — drops of gold, that's what it is ■ 
 
 Oh, Drivel, shut up — let me tell her. 
 
 (Drivel keeps on jabbering.) 
 
 And the birds, just melt in your mouth — I don't know when 
 I ever tasted anything so gastronomically correct and 
 perfect. 
 
 PLEASURE 
 
 {to Drivel) 
 Yes, Drivel, I hear you. Thank you, very much, Gush- 
 Yes, I'll dance with both of you later on. 
 
 {She sends them back to their tables.) 
 (E:^ciTEMENT and Travel leave their table and go to 
 Pleasure.) 
 
 excitement 
 {very nervous — can't keep still a moment) 
 Oh, Pleasure, dear, we're having a perfectly glorious time — 
 the wine is perfectly entrancing and the food is perfectly 
 exquisite — and. Pleasure, I have a secret for you — a per- 
 fectly astounding secret ! 
 
 PLEASURE 
 
 Calm yourself, my dear Excitement! {To Travel) What 
 marvelous stories of adventure have you been telling Ex- 
 citement, my dear Travel ? 
 
 travel 
 I was merely telling Excitement about a dance I saw done 
 by naked savages on the banks of the Goola River, near 
 Lake Nyanza in Africa. 
 
EXPERIENCE 31 
 
 EXCITEMENT 
 
 And I suggested — didn't I, Travel? — I suggested that Travel 
 must explain publicly just how the naked savages dance 
 and then vre'll have a perfectly splendid time learning it. 
 
 PLEASURE 
 
 You'll find, my dear Excitement, that the naked savages 
 dance exactly as we do — except that they are not con- 
 scious of their nakedness. 
 
 TRAVEL 
 
 Thus obviating the necessity of a divorce court. 
 
 (Pleasure laughs and crosses to SoNGj who is at Right.) 
 
 EXCITEMENT 
 
 {to Travel, as they go back to their table) 
 
 Oh ! I'm so disappointed !■ I'm just crazy to have somebody 
 
 invent a new and perfectly outrageous dance ! 
 
 {They sit at their table.) 
 
 pleasure 
 
 (to Song) 
 
 Onne, my dear Song, it's time you were adding your voice 
 
 to the general happiness. 
 
 SONG 
 
 What shall I sing, Pleasure? — Something classical? 
 
 SPORT 
 
 Qassical — nothing! Sing something we can move our feet 
 to. When you're out in the Primrose Path with Pleasure 
 you don't want any music that gives you time to think — 
 am I right, old dear? 
 
 PLEASURE 
 
 You're quite right. Sport ! 
 
32 EXPERIENCE 
 
 SPORT 
 
 You know that classical stuff is all right on the pianola be- 
 cause you can get up and leave the room. But for me, 
 something with the "pep" in it — something smooth with 
 the little old ginger behind it. My brain is all wrapped 
 up in dancing and I don't want anybody to take the cover 
 off. 
 
 PLEASURE 
 
 Come, Song — something lively!' 
 
 THE MODERN SONG 
 
 In the Primrose Path of Pleasure 
 
 The songs of an ancient day 
 With their grace and stately measure 
 
 Are taboo and passe. 
 And no echo of them lingers 
 
 In the modern cabaret 
 Where the singers snap their fingers 
 
 And warble in this way: 
 
 REFRAIN : 
 
 Just call me baby — 
 Or a beautiful doll! 
 
 (She's a doll! She's a doll!) 
 If you do then maybe 
 I will answer your call! 
 (She's a beauty — 
 She's a cutey — 
 
 With her baby eyes of blue!) 
 Say, be 
 
EXPERIENCE 33 
 
 In a hurry — that's all! 
 Just call me baby 
 Or a beautiful doll ! 
 
 (Do you think she could be true?) 
 
 SECOND verse: 
 In days gone by and olden 
 
 The songs they used to hear 
 Had music sweet and golden 
 
 And Mem'ry holds them dear; 
 But nowadays it's different 
 
 And sad it is to state 
 That music is not music 
 
 Unless you syncopate. 
 
 REFRAIN : 
 
 Just call me baby — 
 Or a beautiful doll! 
 
 (She's a doll! She's a doll!); 
 If you do then maybe 
 I will answer your call! 
 (She's a beauty — 
 She's a cutey — 
 
 With her baby eyes of blue!)' 
 Say, be 
 In a hurry — that's all I 
 Just call me baby 
 Or a beautiful doll! 
 
 (Do you think she could be true?) 
 
 (Jfter the dance Omnes go to tables.) 
 
34 EXPERIENCE 
 
 PLEASURE 
 
 {to Song — after the dance) 
 Thank you so much, Song. The selection was perfect — so 
 
 fresh and modern. 
 (Youth and Experience enter through arckway, both very 
 gay and happy.) 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Pleasure ! 
 
 PLEASURE 
 
 {greeting him) 
 Youth ! then you are here — I'm so glad ! Welcome, Experi- 
 ence! 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 Thank you, Pleasure 1 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 And, Pleasure, let me thank you ! It's glorious. The music 
 and laughter! and the air is sweet with the far faint 
 odor of dying rose-leaves ! Everywhere there are women's 
 eyes that sparkle like the moonlight on a silent river!' 
 Everywhere there are white arms that beckon me to lips 
 incarnadine with welcome. Oh! Pleasure, how wonder- 
 ful you are to grant me all this. 
 
 {He turns to EXPERIENCE.) 
 
 Isn't she wonderful, Experience? 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 Wonderful, indeed, in that she has no knowledge of the 
 pain that follows ever in her footsteps. 
 
 PLEASURE 
 
 Why voice unpleasant thoughts. Experience? Pain and I 
 have been enemies since the beginnig of things. 
 
EXPERIENCE 35 
 
 (To Youth.) 
 Are you really glad you're here — in the Primrose Path? 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Glad! My heart is beating with delight! 
 
 PLEASURE 
 
 Tell me, now — what do you think of me ? 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 I think you are the end of the rainbow and all the treasures 
 of the world are in your keeping. I think you are the 
 sunshine ef a cloudless day and all the flowers of the 
 earth look up at you and worship. 
 
 PLEASURE 
 
 On, Youth ! Youth ! the poetry of Youth ! 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 Youth is the store-house of all poetry. He looks upon the 
 world as a garden of roses and dreams never of winter 
 nor decay. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 (to Experience) 
 But you, yourself, told me I'd find her fascinating. Come 
 now, what do you think of her? 
 
 PLEASURE 
 
 Oh, don't ask him — ^please ! 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 In the light of ages I think — 
 
 (bows to Pleasure) 
 — saving your presence, dear lady! — I think Pleasure is 
 but the stain of last night's wine spilled upon the table- 
 cloth. She is but a snowflake falling into the ocean. 
 
36 EXPERIENCE 
 
 Pleasure, my boy, is the last faint crimson flush which 
 a setting sun has left to die alone in a cold gray sky. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 But I don't understand. She looks so beautiful and so in- 
 nocent. 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 God made Pleasure innocent but Mankind has made her 
 wise. 
 
 PLEASURE 
 
 (laughs) 
 
 True, possibly, but Youth must forever pursue me even if 
 Experience proves me a will o' the wisp. Come, Youth, 
 you must meet my friends. 
 
 (She takes him to the table down stage at Left where 
 Blueblood and Fashion are sitting — Experience fol- 
 lows.) 
 
 Fashion, may I present my friend, Youth \ 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Fashion — how do you do! 
 
 fashion 
 Oh, yes, of course — ^Youth ; awfully glad to see you. Pardon 
 me, won't you, for not shaking hands — but I'm afraid 
 my dress will fall off. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Oh, I feel so relieved. I thought it had fallen off. 
 
 fashion 
 Have you noticed my earrings — absolutely new — imported 
 from Algiers. 
 
EXPERIENCE 37 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Are they really earrings? 
 
 FASHION 
 
 What did you think they were? 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 I thought they were alarm clocks to tell you when the styles 
 change. 
 
 FASHION 
 
 Oh, no; we women don't need an alarm clock to awaken 
 us to the importance of dressing stylishly. Have you 
 noticed how my hair is done up — an imitation of an 
 Esquimaux woman — don't you like it? 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Yes, I like it horribljr. 
 
 FASHION 
 
 I just love to find a new excuse to make myself uncomfort- 
 able. 
 
 {Goes back to her table.) 
 YOUTH 
 
 Have you ever tried putting pebbles in your shoes? 
 
 (To Experience — ingenuously.) 
 Isn't she great? 
 
 PLEASURE 
 
 {to Youth) 
 And this, my dear Youth, is my friend, BIueblo«d. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Pleased to know you. 
 
 BLUEBLOOD 
 
 Of course you have a pedigree? 
 
38 EXPERIENCE 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 {to Experience) 
 Have I? 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 If you haven't you can buy one. 
 
 BLUEBLOOD 
 
 You see, my people came over here vi^ith the Pilgrim Fathers. 
 One of my ancestors was the first to put his foot on 
 Plymouth Rock. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Is that so! Well, four of my ancestors carried the Rock 
 into Plymouth and put it where your ancestor could step 
 on it — so you see, we must be related through our an- 
 cestors. 
 
 {To Experience.) 
 
 Was that all right? 
 
 experience 
 Yes, but our friend Blueblood doesn't understand. He's 
 using some of the Rock for his head. 
 
 pleasure 
 {offering Youth a wine glass — temptingly) 
 A glass of wine, Youth! 
 
 youth 
 Wine! 
 
 {Looks at it — wavers — draws nearer — then goes back 
 to Experience.) 
 What do you say. Experience? 
 
 experience 
 You are Youth! and temptation is ever at your elbow. 
 
EXPERIENCE 39 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Temptation — nonsense! I'm thirsty, that's all. 
 
 {Takes wine glass from Pleasure — tastes it.) 
 Great! 
 
 PLEASURE 
 
 Drink it, Youth — you'll like it. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 (drinks wine) 
 
 Fine! This is the stuff they write songs about, isn't it? — 
 
 you know, "Oh, sparkling wine — divine!" 
 
 {Laughs.) 
 
 That's easy to understand because it tastes just like liquid 
 
 music. May I have another glass? 
 
 PLEASURE 
 
 Certainly. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 {to Experience) 
 
 Isn't it beyond words how that stuff takes hold of you and 
 
 makes you want to sing and dance and laugh ? 
 
 experience 
 
 Yes, and there's a lot of laughter gaing on in hell right novr, 
 
 my boy! 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Oh, tush! 
 
 PLEASURE 
 {offering wine) 
 Here, Youth! Drink deep! 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 {taking glass) 
 You're mighty sweet and good to me. Pleasure. 
 
40 EXPERIENCE 
 
 {Drinks.) 
 The poets have made no false statements — this is the real 
 thing. 
 
 {Drinks.) 
 It's an awful hit with me — I'm going to be crazy about this 
 stuff. 
 
 STYLE 
 
 {to Pleasure) 
 Pardon me! I'd like to speak to Youth, 
 
 PLEASURE 
 
 {to Youth) 
 Oh, Youth ! I want you to meet my friend, Style ! 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 How do you do, Style! 
 
 STYLE 
 
 Hello! Pprdon me, but your necktie! It's just a sixteenth 
 of an inch too narrow! 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Oh! is that so! 
 
 STYLE 
 
 And your coat — at the waist line — a little loose — ^just a 
 trifle ! — ^The trousers too long — notice mine ! And they're 
 not wearing that style of collar. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Gee whiz! is that so! 
 
 STYLE 
 
 {gives card) 
 My card — I'll call for you to-morrow — take you to my, 
 tailor's. 
 
EXPERIENCE 41 
 
 YOUTH 
 {giving his card) 
 Will you, really! That's good of you, old top! 
 
 STYLE 
 
 You must pay more for your clothes — see you to-morrow. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 (to Pleasure) 
 Important, isn't he? 
 
 PLEASURE 
 
 Style is always important with us, my dear Youth ! Come, 
 you must meet all my friends. 
 
 (They go to table at Left where Excitement and 
 Travel are sitting — Pleasure introduces Youth in 
 pantomime.) 
 
 experience 
 (to Frivolity) 
 You look tired, Frivolity — what's the matter? 
 
 frivolity 
 I'm not tired — I'm worried — I don't get enough dancing — 
 the daylight arrives so early — it certainly does interfere 
 with my night life. Now look at Conceit — he never 
 worries about anything. 
 
 conceit 
 Why should I? I am handsome and rich. I have the most 
 perfect manners — the women adore me — I know every- 
 thing there is to know — I am Nature's most perfect speci- 
 men. 
 
 experience 
 You should worry, indeed! 
 
 (Experience talks to Slander and Snob at Right. As 
 
42 EXPERIENCE 
 
 Pleasure and Youth turn from the table where they 
 have been talking in pantomime with Excitement and 
 Travel^ Snob goes to them.) 
 pleasure 
 Oh, Snob — ^just a moment — I want you to meet my friend, 
 Youth. 
 
 YOUTH 
 {warmly) 
 Glad to know you! 
 
 (Experience goes to Youth.) 
 
 SNOB 
 
 {coldly) 
 How do you do} 
 
 {To Pleasure.) 
 In our set — permanently? 
 
 pleasure 
 I hope so. 
 
 SNOB 
 
 Family or money? 
 
 PLEASURE 
 
 A little of both. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 What does he mean? 
 
 SNOB 
 
 I shall have to reserve my consideration until I am com- 
 pletely satisfied he is eligible. 
 
 {Looks at Youth coldly and walks away.) 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 {hotly) 
 Well, the nerve of that shrimp — if I had him outside I'd 
 punch his head off. 
 
EXPERIENCE 43 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 Easy, Youth, easy! In the Primrose Path a shrimp of that 
 kind is considered a delicacy. 
 
 (Pleasure in the meantime has gone up to table at Left 
 and brings Pride down with her.) 
 pleasure 
 Pride — let me present Youth! 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Charmed, I'm sure. 
 
 (Pleasure goes to table at Left.) 
 
 pride 
 {with her head high in the air) 
 Thank you! 
 
 {Goes back haughtily to her table.) 
 youth 
 {to Experience) 
 She's somewhat impressed with herself, isn't she? 
 
 experience 
 
 Pride walks in majesty but she's been known to stub her toe. 
 
 pleasure 
 
 {who has brought Beauty forward) 
 
 Beauty, dear, you must know my friend. Youth!' 
 
 BEAUTY 
 
 {smiling) 
 We should be good friends. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 {smiling) 
 Of course we should! 
 
 {To Experience)' 
 Isn't she lovely? 
 
44 EXPERIENCE 
 
 (Deceit steps in between Youth and Beauty.) 
 
 DECEIT 
 
 {to Beauty) 
 How charming you look to-day, Beauty! Your eyes are 
 wonderful and your cheeks like roses! 
 
 BEAUTY 
 
 {demurely) 
 Oh, thank you. Deceit. 
 
 DECEIT 
 
 {to Youth) 
 Look closely — -there are crowsfeet about her eyes — and the 
 roses in her cheeks are from the drug-store. 
 {Laughs and goes to her table.) 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 {to Experience) 
 Who is she? 
 
 experience 
 Deceit — strange you've never met her before. 
 
 (Pleasure brings Slander down to Youth.) 
 
 PLEASURE 
 
 Slander — this is Youth. I don't know whether he'll listen 
 to you or not. 
 
 (Slander takes Youth aside.) 
 
 SLANDER 
 
 Pardon me, Youth, but I noticed you talking with Beauty. 
 Now don't say I told you, but don't you think it strange ! 
 — she was seen at a road-house dining with a married 
 man — don't say I told you! 
 {Holds up her finger warningly and walks away.) 
 
EXPERIENCE 45 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 (goes to Experience) 
 I don't believe it— did you hear what that woman said about 
 Beauty ? 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 The wise man is deaf when Slander talks. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Who is she? 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 She is the snake in Society's garden and her poison fangs are 
 forever fatal to the innocent. 
 
 {He turns and finds Youth with bowed head looking at 
 the ring on his little finger.) 
 
 But come, my boy, you are letting Beauty stand there neglect- 
 ed. What's the matter? 
 
 youth 
 
 I was wondering if it's all worth while. You see. Experi- 
 ence, there is so much evil interwoven with the good that 
 I'm confused. And when I looked at this ring I thought 
 of one who — ■ — 
 
 {The dance music starts — Beauty calls Youth and they 
 dance. Omnes dance as before. Experience and Pleas- 
 ure dance together, and finally all dance off the scene. 
 Pleasure returns immediately and sits smiling at R. 
 Wealth walks in and stands looking gloomily at Pleas- 
 ure. She turns presently and sees him.) 
 
 pleasure 
 {going to Wealth) 
 Wealth — ^where have you been all the evening? 
 
 WEALTH 
 
 I've been in the background. Say, Pleasure, what's the mat- 
 ter with you lately ? 
 
46 EXPERIENCE 
 
 PLEASURE 
 
 I don't know, Wealth — I answer your every call very 
 promptly. 
 
 WEALTH 
 
 No, no, it isn't that. There's something wrong. I look at 
 you and you seem to be there but when I take you in my 
 arms you're a shadow — a shadow. The Primrose Path 
 is there — the Path I've walked for years — do you think 
 it's the same path? 
 
 PLEASURE 
 
 Certainly, Wealth. 
 
 WEALTH 
 
 Well, it isn't — ^not to me. I used to walk there on the petals 
 of rare orchids — now I feel flinty rocks beneath my feet 
 — and those flowers, they're withering — fading — day by 
 day I've watched them fade. I've poured gold — ^molten 
 gold around their roots but they keep on fading — I won- 
 der what is the matter with me? 
 
 (Wealth sits despondently at Right. The dance music 
 swells and Youth dances on and into the scene, followed 
 by Experience — they dance about gayly.) 
 
 youth 
 (to Pleasure) 
 Everything you promised me is here — it's wonderful ! 
 
 experience 
 Youth, I want you to meet my friend, Wealth! 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 (shaking hands with Wealth) 
 Glad to know you ! 
 
 wealth 
 Youth ! Oh ! Yes, yes, of course ; I was- 
 
 (YouTH leaves him — goes to Pleasure) 
 
EXPERIENCE 47 
 
 Come back, Youth! Now I know — I understand — it was 
 with the feet of youth I walked on the petals of rare 
 orchids — it was through the eyes of youth I saw the 
 flowers bloom — it was with the arms of youth I found 
 Pleasure a substance — I want to be like him again — I 
 want youth — I'll give all I have for one hour of youth's 
 enthusiasm. Tell me, Experience, tell me, can it be 
 done? 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 Can you, with your money, pick one star from the canopy of 
 Heaven and set it in some new position? 
 
 WEALTH 
 
 No, no!' 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 Can you, with the power of your gold, stop the flight of the 
 world and roll it backward, backward? 
 
 WEALTH 
 
 No, no!' 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 Then these two tasks are easier far than to bring back for 
 even an hour your squandered youth ! 
 
 (Wealth drops despondently in a bench at Right — sits with 
 bowed head. Ambition appears suddenly up stage at 
 Left — he is listless and speaks with a wetk voice.) 
 
 ambition 
 {weakly) 
 Youth! 
 
 experience 
 
 (seeing him — goes quickly to Youth)' 
 He's calling you! 
 
 ■youTH 
 
 Who's calling me? 
 
48 EXPERIENCE 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 Listen, don't you hear him ? 
 
 AMBITION 
 
 {^weakly) 
 Youth! 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 I don't hear anything. 
 
 {To Pleasure — eagerly.) 
 Tell me again about the wonderful delights in store for me. 
 
 (Ambition^ with bowed head and faltering feet, walks off 
 
 slowly. ) 
 
 PLEASURE 
 
 In my domain delights must come unheralded — for Surprise 
 
 is Pleasure's dearest friend. 
 {There is a subdued commotion and groans are heard off 
 
 at Left.) 
 What's the matter? 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 I'll seel 
 
 (Experience hurries off at Left.) 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 He's a great companion — Experience! — I've enjoyed every 
 minute I've been with him — and I need him. 
 
 WEALTH 
 
 {looking up) 
 Listen to all he tries to teach you for the price he charges is 
 a heavy one. 
 
 (Experience returns.) 
 
 PLEASURE 
 
 What was the matter? 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 Ambition is dead. 
 
EXPERIENCE 49 
 
 YOUTH 
 (lightly) 
 Oh! IS that so? — too bad! 
 
 (Raises wine glass.) 
 To Pleasure — for every bubble whispers your name as it 
 expires. 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 (raising glass) 
 To Pleasure! 
 
 (The three drink and laugh.) 
 
 PLEASURE 
 
 Why are you so gloomy, Wealth? 
 
 WEALTH 
 
 (rising) 
 Ghosts — ghosts — all around me — ghosts! The ghost of my 
 own youth — the ghost of Ambition — I'm getting old — 
 that's it! And my money— ^ — 
 
 (laughs) .. 
 — my money can't down the ghosts of the things that 
 should have been. 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 Brace up, old boy — you're getting fanciful} 
 
 (Intoxication^ a girl, enters — she is wild-eyed — her hair 
 is touseled and she is smiling inanely.) 
 
 INTOXICATION 
 
 Hello, all of you, whoever you are — ^whee! I'm having the 
 time of my life! 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 (greeting her) 
 Intoxication — glad to see you, old girl! You arrived at the 
 right moment. Pleasure was becoming just a bit jaded. 
 I want to present my friend, Youth! 
 
50 EXPERIENCE 
 
 INTOXICATION 
 
 Pleased to meet you! 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 I'm glad to see you — I like your style — if you're a friend of 
 my friend, Experience, I'm going to like you — sit down 
 here with me! 
 
 (Youth and Intoxication sit at table.) 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 Ojme over here, Wealth, and join us. Here's a lady who 
 can drive those ghosts of yours away. 
 
 WEALTH 
 
 Who's that? Oh! Intoxication — I know her well. I've 
 known her ever since I was that high. She's all right at 
 night but she's damned poor company in the morning. 
 
 (Wealth sits at table with Youth and Intoxication — 
 Omnes drink wine.) 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 Come on, pour out some more of that stufE that made Omar 
 Khayaam a poet. 
 
 INTOXICATION 
 
 Sure, boys, turn the grape loose — turn it loose. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 {to Pleasure, who is standing near him) 
 Say ! this is life, isn't it, eh ? 
 
 pleasure 
 It's my life. 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 {raising glass) 
 Here's to t"-night/ To-morrow hasn't happened yet. 
 
 {Omnes drink and laugh — all show the effects of liquor 
 since Intoxication joined them.) 
 
EXPERIENCE 51 
 
 WEALTH 
 
 That's right — to-morrow hasn't happened yet 
 
 (Drinks.) 
 That's the philosophy for me!' 
 
 (Gets up — shows effects of liquor.) 
 
 You're a fine girl, Intoxication — you chase all the ghosts 
 away — ^you sure do! 
 
 {Begins to throw money away.) 
 
 Open more wine — a lot of it — enough to drown all the ghosts 
 in the world. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 {imitating Wealth — throws his money away) 
 That's the idea — ^wine — ^women — song — old Wealth is all 
 right, isn't he? I want to do just like he does. 
 
 {Throws money away.) 
 
 intoxication 
 {pulling him to table) 
 Sit down with me — ^your wine's getting warm. 
 
 wealth 
 Come on. Pleasure — I'm my old self again ! Let's go gliding 
 down the Primrose Path! 
 
 PLEASURE 
 
 I'm right with you. Wealth — away we go ! 
 
 {Loud music — ^Wealth and Pleasure dance off. Ex- 
 PERiENCEj Intoxication and Youth at the table — 
 drinking. ) 
 
 intoxication 
 {to Youth) 
 Are you with me? 
 
52 EXPERIENCE 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 I'm with you, all right! I'm going to devote myself exclu- 
 sively to you! 
 
 (^Drinks.) 
 
 INTOXICATION 
 
 {to Experience) 
 How about you — ^you don't seem to reflect my genial pres- 
 ence as much as he does. 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 No ; I've met you oftener — ^you see, you're a stranger to him, 
 
 (Passion, a very beautiful and alluring creature, enters 
 through the archway and glides down stage in a snakc' 
 like manner — she stands gazing at Youth — he looks up 
 presently and sees her.) 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Look! look! who is she? 
 
 experience 
 Passion 1 
 
 (To Passion.) 
 What do you want? 
 
 PASSION 
 
 I want him! 
 
 (Her eyes fixed on Youth.) 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Look at her eyes — ^look! Good God! can you see — she 
 wants me, I tell you. 
 
EXPERIENCE S3 
 
 (To Intoxicatiok.) 
 Take your hands off me — ^you're holding me back. 
 
 PASSION 
 
 {gazing at Youth) 
 Youth, I want you, with ail my burning heart, I want you 1 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 {to Experience) 
 Tell me, tell me — ^who is she? 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 She is Passion — the High Commissioner from his Satanic 
 Majesty. 
 
 PASSION 
 
 G)me to me. Youth — my arms are aching to enfold you. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Listen! there's music all about her — don't you hear it? 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 Yes, the poisonous melody that the siren serpent uses in her 
 dance of death. 
 
 PASSION 
 
 Oh, Youth, Youth, my very soul is on fire — and I want to 
 smother you in the flames of joy. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 She's calling me — and I want her. 
 
 {To Intoxication.) 
 Take your damned hands off me ! 
 
54 EXPERIENCE 
 
 (He struggles away from Intoxication, who follows 
 him — he staggers to Passion.) 
 
 I must have her — she was meant for me since the beginning 
 of the world 
 
 (Passion grabs his right hand — the one en which is the 
 ring — and starts to kiss it — as she does so she speaks.) 
 
 PASSION 
 
 I love you, Youth! 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 (takes his hand away from her mouth — looks drunkenly at 
 the ring) 
 
 Love! Love! Wait a minute! She put that ring there to 
 keep evil away. — Wait a minute! — there's something 
 wrong — somebody is trying to whispier to me — ^wait, wait 
 — it's far away — there's a lane — a country lane — and 
 she's standing there — waiting — yes, yes, she's crying — I 
 don't want to see her cry. 
 
 (To Intoxication.) 
 I'm going with you, understand — going with you 
 
 ( Intoxication helps him back to the table — both drop in 
 chairs.) 
 
 Help me, will you? — Help me to stop seeing her cry. — I 
 don't want to see her cry — hurts me in my heart 
 
 (To Intoxication.) 
 Put your hand in front of my eyes so I can't see that other 
 woman — can't see — she's crying — ^hurts — other woman — 
 can't 
 
 {Drops his head drunkenly on table. INTOXICATION drops 
 hers at the same time.) 
 
EXPERIENCE 55 
 
 PASSION 
 (intensely) 
 Let him go to his drunken sleep and may every curse that 
 my burning body can suggest follow him through the 
 dark corridors of his dreams — bah ! he isn't worth while. 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 He is worth while, because he had the courage to resist the 
 queen regent of Hell. Of two evils he has chosen — the 
 lesser ! 
 
 THE END OF THE EPISODE. 
 
 INTERVAL. 
 
THE FOURTH EPISODE. 
 
 IN THE CORRIDORS OF CHANCE. 
 
 Description : A 
 
 room in a modern Gambling Palace. 
 Doors at Right and at Left. Through 
 an archway in back is seen part of another 
 room where men and women are gam- 
 bling. A roulette table in the Center of 
 the stage with the wheel in the middle 
 of the table and the lay-out of numbers on 
 each side of the wheel. The furnishings 
 and furniture are rich and in good taste. 
 
 Discovered: When curtain rises there are two '^dealers" 
 at the roulette table in C. — one at Right 
 of the wheel — the other at the Left. 
 There are eight characters at the table, 
 as follows: At the end of the table at 
 stage Left is Despair^ pale-faced and 
 with disordered hair. He is playing des- 
 perately and losing. Between Despair 
 and the Dealer^ facing the audience, is 
 Stupid, red-faced and drunk, scattering 
 his bets aimlessly and winning. Two 
 other men are at the Left end of the table 
 with their backs to the audience. These 
 are SYSTEM and SUPERSTITION, playing 
 with characteristic actions. At the Right 
 end of the table is VENTURE, and stand- 
 ing near him is Caution, who is nervous 
 and anxiour. Between Venture and 
 the Dealer at Right is Good Nature, 
 losing and laughing. At the Right end 
 of the table with their backs to the audi- 
 ence are two college boys. Careless and 
 (56) 
 
EXPERIENCE 57 
 
 Thoughtless. Chance, the proprie- 
 tor^ moves about from one room to the 
 other. The waiter, a mulatto, in Tux- 
 edo, moves about, bringing drinks, etc. 
 Through the archway in another room 
 men and women may be seen, gambling 
 feverishly over another table. 
 {As the Curtain rises the Dealer at Right is just call- 
 ing the number.) 
 
 DEALER AT RIGHT 
 
 Seventeen — black in the odd — middle colmun — second dozen ! 
 
 (Dealer at Right pays Venture. Good Nature loses. 
 
 with a laugh. Careless and Thoughtless lose. Deal- 
 
 at Left pays Stupid and Superstition. Despair and 
 
 System lose.) 
 
 good nature 
 Stung again !■ 
 
 {Laughs and looks over his checks — proceeds to bet again.) 
 
 DEALER AT LEFT 
 
 Make your bets, gentlemen! t 
 
 CAUTION 
 
 We've won enough now, Venture; come on, let's go home! 
 
 VENTURE 
 
 Just one more bet, Caution — this is the last — honestly! 
 (Places checks.) 
 
 SYSTEM 
 
 (looking at small book which he takes from his pocket) 
 According to my system, red should have won that time — 
 can't understand it. 
 
 STUPID 
 
 (drunkenly'' 
 That's the idea — set and cop ! 
 
58 EXPERIENCE 
 
 {To Despair.) 
 What's the matter with you, Despair? You haven't won a 
 nickle since you sat in — look at me — I just spread 'em all 
 around and set and cop — that's me — set and copf 
 {Spreads more checks.) 
 
 DESPAIR 
 
 It's hopeless — I know it — and I want to win — God! how I 
 want to win! 
 
 {Places another bet. TiEA'LEVi spins the ball — all watch it 
 intently till it drops in a number.") 
 
 DEALER AT RIGHT 
 {calling) 
 Sixteen — red in the even — first column — second dozen! 
 {Both dealers take in losing checks. Despair^ System, 
 Good Nature, Thoughtless and Careless lose — 
 others win.) 
 
 good nature 
 {laughing) 
 Blast me if I didn't lose again — ^ha, ha, ha, ha! 
 
 despair 
 Oh, why, why, can't it break for me — just oncel 
 
 stupid 
 {drunkenly) 
 It don't break for you. Despair, because you don't under- 
 stand the game — ^you gotta play it blind — see! — get full 
 of booze — and then you don't care whether you win or 
 lose and you just set and cop. Fortune loves a drunken 
 man — get me. Despair! — Come on, let's tease a highball 
 — what d'ye say, Despair? Get some benzine under your 
 belt and set and cop! 
 
 despair 
 No, no. Stupid — I don't want to drink — I want to win — just 
 a little — I must win ! 
 
EXPERIENCE ' 59 
 
 DEALER AT LEFT 
 
 Make your bets, gentlemen ! 
 
 CAUTION 
 
 You'd better stop now, Venture — ^you've won enough; let's 
 go home. 
 
 VENTURE 
 
 This one is the last — on the level it is, Caution! 
 
 (Venture places a bet. The Dealer spins the ball— all 
 watch intently until it stops.) 
 
 DEALER AT RIGHT 
 
 (calling) 
 Thirty-six in the Red. 
 
 (Venture loses and Caution is very much upset. Su- 
 perstition loses. System wins and is elated. Thought- 
 less and Careless win and make a fuss about it. Good 
 Nature wins. Stupid wins. Despair wins.) 
 
 CAUTION 
 
 (to Venture) 
 See, you've lost! I told you not to play any more. — Come 
 now, you must cash in — ^we're going home. 
 
 (Youth and Experience enter in back and are seen 
 watching the play at the table in the other room.) 
 
 VENTURE 
 
 Oh ! all right ; but I'll win the next time. 
 
 (Venture "cashes in" and when he gets his money Cau- 
 tion takes him by the arm and they go out.) 
 
 SYSTEM 
 (elated) 
 I knew my system couldn't fail. — Do you see, Superstition, 
 do you see, I've won ! 
 
60 EXPERIENCE 
 
 SUPERSTITION 
 
 Yes, System, you've won two bets out of twenty — and you 
 made me lose that last one! 
 
 SYSTEM 
 
 Why, Superstition, how did I make you lose? 
 
 SUPERSTITION 
 
 Because you touched my arm just as I was going to bet. 
 Keep away from me! 
 
 STUPID 
 {drunkenly) 
 What's the matter with you, Despair? — You won that, didn't 
 you ? — Didn't you set and cop ? 
 
 DESPAIR 
 
 I won that, yes! when I had but a few checks left — I lose 
 so much and win so little. 
 
 STUPID 
 
 Oh, that's all right — get a good, fancy little bun on you and 
 you'll set and cop every time — see ! look at me ! — Fortune 
 loves a drunken man! 
 
 DEALER AT LEFT 
 
 Make your bets, gentlemen! 
 
 {Enter YouTH and Experience — Chance meets them — 
 ' the waiter takes their hats and overcoats.) 
 
 CHANCE 
 
 {to Experience) 
 How do you do ? Glad to see you ! 
 
 {They shake hands.) 
 
 experience 
 Chance, I'm pleased to see you again. Youth! this is the 
 party you wanted to meet — my friend, Chance! 
 
EXPERIENCE 61 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 {^shaking hands) 
 That's right; I came out looking for you to-night. You 
 know I've spent a lot of money in the Primrose Path so 
 I thought I'd drop in here and get some of it back — you 
 don't mind, do you? 
 
 CHANCE 
 
 This is the place to get it, Youth. Go as far' as you like. 
 (/« the meantime, those at the table have placed their bets 
 and the ball is spinning. Youth, Experience and 
 Chance look on.) 
 
 DEALER AT RIGHT 
 
 {when ball stops) 
 Thirty-three in the Black! 
 
 (Stupid wins — Superstition wins — Good Nature 
 loses — Despair loses — System loses — Careless and 
 Thoughtless lose.) 
 
 good nature 
 String me high if I didn't miss it again! 
 (Laughs.) 
 
 stupid 
 (gathering his checks together drunkenly) 
 
 Set and cop, eh? 
 
 (Laughs.) 
 
 I'm going to have a little mercy — that's what I'm going to 
 do — have a little mercy! — I ain't going to Wm all the 
 money in the world and put this place on the bum — 
 here ! I'm cashin' in^ — see 1 gi'me a lot of money ! 
 
 (To Despair.) 
 
 You see! you poor old boob — you. Despair — ^you see! — if you 
 
 had a skin-full of red-eye you'd set and cop, understand ? 
 
 (Gets his money.) 
 
 I'm going to beat it now and open a new bank of England. 
 
62 EXPERIENCE 
 
 (Sees Chance.) 
 Much obliged, old friend Chance! I'm taking away a fat 
 little bundle of your gate receipts, but you don't care, do 
 you? Good-night, everybody! 
 (Laughs.) 
 Say ! Fortune loves a drunken man, eh ? 
 
 (Exits through archway. Chance follows and is seen 
 talking to Stupid near the other table. Presently Stupid 
 sits at the table in the other room and Chance returns 
 to front room.) 
 
 dealer at left 
 Make your bets, gentlemen! 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 (as Stupid goes out) 
 That fellow is lucky — I'm going to take his seat. 
 
 (Youth sits in the chair which Stupid has just vacated. 
 He takes out a roll of money — gives it to the Dealer.) 
 There's my entire bank roll — give me some checks, please!' 
 
 (Turns to Experience^ who stands behind him.) 
 Watch me! I feel that I'm going to win a lot of money. 
 
 experience 
 You're very foolish to feel that way in a gambling house. 
 ( The ball spins and when it drops the Dealer calls the 
 number.) 
 
 dealer at right 
 Nine in the Red! 
 
 (Youth wins — all the others lose.) 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 (elated — to Experience) 
 Did you see that? — I won the very first bet! I'll be on 
 Easy Street in a few minutes. 
 
EXPERIENCE 63 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 It takes more than a few minutes to get to Easy Street. 
 The railroad service is very poor. 
 
 SUPERSTITION 
 
 (to Dealer) 
 Cash those for me! I'm through. I hate to sit next to a 
 jinx. 
 
 SYSTEM 
 
 {looking at his book) 
 That's the fourth time to-night that number came up — I 
 don't understand it! 
 
 superstition 
 {to System) 
 You made me lose that last bet. 
 
 system 
 I did! How? 
 
 superstition 
 Why, you put your foot on my chair and I lose 200 cold — 
 that's what you did — put your foot on my chair. 
 {Takes his money and goes. The ball rolls again and the 
 Dealer calls the number when it stops.) 
 
 dealer at right 
 Twenty-seven in the Red. 
 
 (Youth wins — the others lose.) 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 {to Experience) 
 See! What did I tell you? This a lucky night for me. 
 
 experience 
 All right; if you feel that way just close your eyes and pray 
 for daylight. 
 
64 EXPERIENCE 
 
 (Chance is standing near the two college boys. Careless 
 and Thoughtless^ watching them.) 
 
 CARELESS V 
 
 I'm through, Thoughtless — that's my last stack! 
 
 THOUGHTLESS 
 
 Same here — Gee whiz! what a run of bad luck. I'm out 
 fifteen dollars ! 
 
 CARELESS 
 
 I only had ten to start with — now I haven't even carfare. 
 
 THOUGHTLESS 
 
 Gee ! and it's a long walk home. 
 
 (Chance takes a blue chip from his pocket — deliberately 
 drops it on the floor — then stoops and picks it up.) 
 
 CHANCE 
 
 {to Careless) 
 Pardon me, but you dropped a blue check. 
 
 careless 
 
 Oh ! is that so ! Gee ! that's lucky ! 
 
 {To Dealer.) 
 Cash that, will you! 
 
 {The Dealer does so.) 
 Come on. Thoughtless, we won't have to walk home. 
 
 THOUGHTLESS 
 
 Say! Careless, that's the luckiest play you made to-night 
 when you dropped that chip on the floor. 
 (Careless and Thoughtless exeunt through archway 
 and off — Chance watches them with an amused smile.) 
 
 dealer at LEFT 
 
 Make your bets, gentlemen ! 
 
 {Ball spins again and Dealer calls it when it stops.) 
 
EXPERIENCE 65 
 
 DEALER AT RIGHT 
 
 Nine in the Red! 
 (Youth and Good Nature win — Despair and System 
 lose.) 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 (excitedly, to Experience) 
 There it is again, see ! Why, nothing can stop me — nothing. 
 
 ESPERIENCE 
 
 Nothing — except possibly a losing streak. 
 
 GOOD NATURE 
 
 (laughs) 
 Every time I win I bet five — every time I lose I bet a hun- 
 dred — ^luck certanly is funny ! 
 (Lauffhs.) 
 
 SYSTEM 
 
 (getting up) 
 According to my book black should have won. Can't under- 
 stand it. 
 (System starts for the other room — Chance stops him.) 
 
 CHANCE 
 
 Any luck to-night. System? 
 
 SYSTEM 
 
 No, none at all. I played my little book and lose a thousand. 
 (Hurries out through archway and off. In the meantime, 
 the ball is rolling again and when it stops the DEALER 
 calls the number.) 
 
 DEALER AT RIGHT 
 
 Thirty-four in the Red. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 (to Experience) 
 Say ! how long has this been going on here ? If I had known 
 
66 EXPERIENCE 
 
 this bank was open every night I'd have been here long 
 ago. 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 Save your praise of this bank till you know it better. This 
 is a financial institution where they loan you money with 
 a smile and exact payment in blood. 
 
 DESPAIR 
 
 True ! every word of it. Exact payment in blood — that's it ! 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 {to Despair) 
 Say, old side-partner, they're not breaking for you, are they? 
 
 DESPAIR 
 
 No; I've given up. There's no hope for me. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Oh, yes, there is. What's your name? 
 
 DESPAIR 
 
 Despair is my name. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Oh !■ Well, I wouldn't give up yet — try it once more. 
 
 DEALER AT LEFT 
 
 Make your bets, gentlemen! 
 
 DESPAIR 
 
 {hopelessly) 
 I have to give up — I have nothing left. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Here ! I'll let you have a stack. 
 
 DESPAIR 
 
 No, no ; thank you. 
 
EXPERIENCE 67 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Please! take it now and bet as I do. Put up the whole stack 
 — you're sure to win. 
 
 (Youth bets on a number — Despair puts the borrowed 
 stack on the same number. The Dealer spins the ball 
 and when it stops rolling calls the number.) 
 
 DEALER AT RIGHT 
 
 Eight in the Black ! 
 
 (Youth and Despair both lose.) 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Gee! that's queer. That's the first time I've lost. 
 
 (To Despair.) 
 Come on, I'll stake you again. 
 
 despair 
 {getting up) 
 No, no, thank you. You have a kind heart — ^but I can't take 
 advantage of it. I'm gone, I tell you, gone ! 
 (Despair goes to big chair at extreme Left — sits in chair 
 — buries his head in his arms — cries quietly. Chance 
 looks at him, smiling.) 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 {to Experience) 
 He isn't a regular gambler, is he? 
 
 experience 
 No, poor chap ; he is one of Fortune's fools. He goes a-woo- 
 ing with tears in his voice and the fickle jade laughs at 
 him. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Well, I'm not going to let her laugh at me. I'll double up 
 now and get that last bet back. 
 
 (Youth places his checks. The ball spins. The DEALER 
 calls the number.) 
 
68 EXPERIENCE 
 
 DEALER AT RIGHT 
 
 Thirty-two in the Red! 
 
 (Youth wins — Good Nature loses.) 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 (elated) 
 See! in the Red again! It's my night, all right. Now I'm 
 going to make one big bet and quit. 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 Any time you quit you're that much ahead of the game. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Here I go! I'm not playing any system so it doesn't matter. 
 I'll stick to the Red. 
 
 (Puts up a lot of chips. The ball spins and the Dealer 
 calls the number.) 
 
 DEALER AT RIGHT 
 
 Thirty-six in the Red ! 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 What did I tell you? 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 You told me you'd make one big bet and quit. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 And quit is just what I'm going to do. 
 
 {To Dealer.) 
 Give me a whole lot of money for these, will you, old happy- 
 face! 
 
 (Youth gives his checks to Dealer^ who counts them 
 and pays Youth.) 
 
 GOOD NATURE 
 
 {to the Dealer at Right) 
 I'm through. 
 
 {Gets up.) 
 
EXPERIENCE 69 
 
 Two thousand dollars at one settin'. 
 {Laughs.) 
 
 Sandwiches, sir} 
 
 THE WAITER 
 
 {offering a platter) 
 
 GOOD NATURE 
 
 Oh, hell! do you think I can get even eating sandwiches! 
 {Laughs. — Exit Good Nature.) 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 {getting up — very much elated) 
 There's a roll for you! All I lost in the Primrose Path — 
 see, I got it back again in fifteen minutes. Dame For- 
 tune isn't so very fickle with me. 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 Just give her time, my boy; the more you learn to care for 
 her the more cruelly she'll treat you. 
 
 (Experience walks over to Right and goes in the other 
 room. Youth turns, meets Chance, who has strolled 
 over to Left during the last few bets.) 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Oh, there you are. Chance! See, I've made good — and let 
 
 me thank you for your hospitality. 
 
 chance 
 You're entirely welcome. Won't you sit here and let my 
 hospitality take on a new form — say, for instance, a bot- 
 tle of wine? 
 
 (Youth and Chance sit at small table at Left. The 
 waiter hovers near.) 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Thank you, no wine — seltzer and milk, if I may. 
 
 {At a sign from Change the waiter goes out.) 
 
70 EXPERIENCE 
 
 CHANCE 
 
 You've been very lucky to-night, Youth. It seems almost a 
 pity to end the afiEair so tamely. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Tamely! What do you mean? 
 
 CHANCE 
 
 When Fortune smiles so beguilingly why not accept the in- 
 vitation for all it's worth — embrace her, my boy; she'll 
 stand for it. 
 
 {^Waiter brings the drink and a box of cigars.) 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 That's the way I feel about it, but Experience tells me that 
 Fortune is not to be depended upon. 
 
 CHANCE 
 
 Oh, pshaw! Experience gives everybody cold feet. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 My regards! 
 
 {Drinks.) 
 
 CHANCE 
 
 Drink hearty! — Have a cigar! 
 
 (Youth takes cigar — lights it.) 
 
 No matter what your friend says Fortune is crazy about 
 you — can't you see it! Go on, set in there again. Force 
 your luck while it's with you and get a roll that's worth 
 while. The sky is the limit for you. Of course, I'm 
 not being very kind to my own pocketbook when I talk 
 in this manner, but I like to see Youth have his fling. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Wait till I count what I have. Maybe there's enough here 
 for my purposes. 
 
 (Youth counts his money. In the meantime Experience 
 has strolled off through the archway and, after looking 
 
EXPERIENCE 71 
 
 over the other table, returns to Despair. Experience 
 touches him on the shoulder. Despair looks up.) 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 What's the matter, old friend? 
 
 DESPAIR 
 
 Nothing. 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 Oh, yes, there is. 
 
 DESPAIR 
 
 To-morrow — to-morrow was to have been my wedding day. 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 I understand. 
 
 DESPAIR 
 
 Last week I brought my own money here — 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 And left it here. 
 
 DESPAIR 
 
 She's a very beautiful girl — she's so beautiful herself that 
 she must have beautiful things about her — dresses and 
 . jewelry and all that — and I was so sure 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 {interrupting) 
 Sure! Sure of what? In the Corridors of Chance the only 
 sure things are the bewildered fools who send good money 
 after bad. 
 
 DESPAIR 
 
 And to-day there was money in front of me — it wasn't my 
 money — but she is so beautiful and I love her so much — 
 I took the money — now it's gone — and to-morrow — to- 
 morrow we set for our wedding day. 
 (Despair buries his face in his arms and cries. Experi- 
 ence shrugs his shoulders compassionately.) 
 
72 EXPERIENCE 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 {jumping up and going back to the roulette table) 
 You're right, Chance. Fortune is smiling on me to-night so 
 I'll take all she has to offer. 
 
 {To Dealer — giving him the roll of money.) 
 Give me those large checks — ^yes, those with the stars in them. 
 I'm going to court Fortune with every penny I have in 
 the world. 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 {who has strolled over to Youth) 
 I thought you were through? 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 I was out Chance told me it was all nonsense to stop so soon. 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 Of course he did. If the fools held on to their own the 
 gamblers would starve. 
 
 (Youth has three stacks — the chips representing all his 
 money. He pushes one stack on a number. The ball 
 spins. When it stops the Dealer calls the number.) 
 
 DEALER at RIGHT 
 
 Fifteen in the black! 
 
 {The Dealer takes Youth's checks.) 
 
 youth 
 
 It's a good sign when you lose the first one. 
 
 {Puts another stack on a number.) 
 I'll get it all back this bet — see if I don't. I'm going after 
 this in a big way. It's no time to pike when luck is with 
 you. 
 
 ( The ball spins. The Dealer calls the number when it 
 stops. ) 
 
 dealer at right 
 Twenty in the black! 
 
 (Dealer takes Youth's checks.) 
 
EXPERIENCE 73 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 {somewhat dazed) 
 That's mighty strange. Well, it simply must be Red this 
 time so I'll put all I have on it. 
 
 {Places his last stack. The ball spins and the Dealer 
 calls the number when it stops.) 
 
 DEALER AT RIGHT 
 
 Thirty-five in the black. 
 
 {The Dealer takes Youth's chips. Youth hunts 
 through his pockets in an anxious manner for more money.) 
 
 YOUTH 
 {to himself) 
 What's the use of looking when I haven't any more ! 
 
 (Youth goes through his pockets carefully. He turns 
 presently and sees Chance smiling at him in a cynical 
 manner.) 
 
 CHANCE 
 
 {to the Dealer) 
 Give Youth a blue stack. 
 
 {The Dealer pushes a stack of blue chips to Youth.) 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Thank you, Chance. That's very kind. You are putting me 
 on my feet again. This time I'll surely play to win. 
 {He scatters the chips and places them on various numbers. 
 As the ball starts to spin Despair walks slowly over and 
 watches the ball roll. When it stops the Dealer calls 
 the number.) 
 
 dealer at right 
 The Double O. 
 
 ( The Dealer sweeps in Youth's chips. Despair walks 
 slowly off through door at Left. Youth goes through 
 his pockets but can find no money. YoUTH looks up at 
 Chance who shakes his head slowly, refusing to give 
 him any more chips.) 
 
 chance 
 Sorry ; but one stack is the limit of credit. 
 
74 EXPERIENCE 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 • Yes, yes, I know. 
 
 (Feels through his pockets helplessly.)' 
 Everything gone — strange I didn't think to save eveo a few 
 dollars. 
 
 (Looks at the ring on his finger.) 
 
 DEALER AT RIGHT 
 
 (in a whisper to Youth) 
 Ask him ; he'll slip you a stack of Reds for the ring. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 No, no! 
 
 (He drops his head on his hands. Chance calls the Deal- 
 er AT Right and they walk off the scene. There ig 
 silence for a few seconds and then a pistol shot is heard 
 off at Right. Youth jumps to his feet quickly.) 
 What's that? I know-^it's the echo of my own thoughts, 
 that's what it was — the echo! I was thinking about a 
 pistol at that moment. That's why the echo of my own 
 thoughts frightened me, 
 
 (To Experience.) 
 What did you think it was? 
 
 experience 
 Despair has made his last bet and Death wins — as usual. 
 
 youth 
 Death ! It came to him in reality and to me it was only an 
 echo. 
 
 (He goes to the door at Left and throws it open. He 
 starts back nervously when he looks in the other room and 
 goes to Experience.) 
 Death! It never was so close to me before. Oh, Experi- 
 ence! I'm frightened ! I'm frightened! I'm frightened! 
 ( The colored waiter walks down to YouTH.) 
 
 COLORED waiter 
 
 Sandwiches, sir! 
 
 the end OF THE EPISODE. 
 
THE FIFTH EPISODE. 
 
 THE STREET OF DISILLUSION. 
 
 Description: A street scene showing at Left the entrance 
 to the "Primrose Path" cabaret. 
 
 Discovered: Youth and Experience — walking on. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 This is the place, Experience; we're all right now. A lot 
 of my good friends on their way to the Primrose Path 
 will be along here presently. I feel confident they'll help 
 me to better things with their advice and influence. 
 ezperience 
 
 I don't want to discourage you, my boy, but friendships made 
 through the wine glass are only as the vapors of the 
 night and they fade and die in the morning of reality. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Now wait a minute, Experience — you call the turn every 
 time, I'll admit, but don't tell me these friends of mine 
 are going back on me simply because my clothes are get- 
 ting a bit shabby. That isn't fair to them. 
 experience 
 
 No, no; I'm not unfair, but I am as old as the world and I 
 know that the looking glass of human nature reflects over 
 and over again the same pictures. Don't depend on your 
 friends — try to think of something else. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 I am thinking — and I have been thinking. 
 
 {Enter Work — a big and powerful man. He carries his 
 coat over his arm — his sleeves rolled up. He is mopping 
 his perspiring brow and is in a hurry. Experience stops 
 him.) 
 
 (75) 
 
7(, EXPERIENCE 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 Oh, this is an opportune meeting. How are you, Work!' 
 I'm glad to see you. Youth, meet my friend, Work. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Work ! how are you ? I was thinking about you and wonder- 
 ing what you looked like. 
 
 WORK 
 
 {roughly) 
 Youth, eh ? Well, you size up all right to me. I'm looking 
 for huskies like you. I've got a lot of vacant places down 
 at the bottom of the ladder. Come on, speak up, speak 
 up ; don't stand there staring at me. Oh ! I'm rough, I 
 know, but there isn't any harm in me — ask your friend, 
 Experience. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 {ingenuously) 
 
 I know there isn't any harm in you — but — well 
 
 {Turns to Experience.) 
 He isn't very attractive, is he? Did you notice his voice? — 
 sounds like the lash of a whip ! See how the perspiration 
 is rolling down his face! I don't believe I'd like to chum 
 around with him. 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 Oh, Work is all right. Why, in time you'd learn to love 
 him like a father. 
 
 WORK 
 
 {roughly) 
 Now, just a minute — this is not my way of doing things. — 
 If you want to have any dealings with me come right 
 along — don't shilly-shaly around here — ^what is it ? Speak 
 up ! speak up ! 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Well, to be frank with you, I didn't think you were quite 
 so rough in your manner. I thought you were — ^well, 
 you see, your hands — they are so 
 
EXPERIENCE 77 
 
 WORK 
 
 (^interrupting) 
 Oh ! I know — ^you expected to find me looking like a picture 
 of a new suit of clothes. Well, you've got the wrong 
 idea, boy! I'm old Work — the original — and I have no 
 spare moments to put on starched shirts and fol de rols. 
 Maybe it's one of my sons you expected to meet — I have 
 five of them. Now there's my oldest son — ^Job — ^he takes 
 after me— he's rough and ready and willing — ^Job is. 
 Then there's my twins, Position and Employment — nice 
 boys, but a little unsteady sometimes. Then there's the 
 pride of the family — Profesion. I sent him to college 
 and he made good. He's all right — he's a credit to his 
 father and mother. And then there's Sinecure — he's the 
 black sheep of the family. Sinecure is. He's dolled up 
 all the time and he travels around with a loafer by the 
 name of Graft. Sinecure is the only one in the family 
 I have no use for, but I don't see much of him — he's 
 pretty hard to find. I don't know why I'm wasting my 
 time standing here to tell you all this — but you're a kid 
 and there's only one way to start right and that's through 
 me. If you're with me I'll take you home and let you 
 meet my Missus — her name is Content — she's the mother 
 of all my boys, Content is — she'll be a mother to you — 
 and she's the finest, grandest mother in all the world. 
 Now listen, boy; I know your mind is all confused and 
 you're not strong for me right now — so I'm going about 
 my affairs- — and when your thoughts turn to old Work 
 — ^when you surely want me — ^well, you come out and 
 look for me — so long! 
 
 {Exit Work.) 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 He improves as you get to know him — doesn't he? I'd bet- 
 ter call him back and — no; I'll see my friends first — 
 maybe they can introduce me to that son of his— what's 
 his name ? 
 
78 EXPERIENCE 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 You mean Sinecure? 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 That's the one — Sinecure. I want to start in on the very 
 top round of the ladder where it's soft and easy — so I 
 can have time to spend with my friends. 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 Only a bird can start at the top of the ladder — and stay there 1 
 (Enter Pleasure from Left.) 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 (to Experience) 
 Now I'm all right. Pleasure still has that inviting smile. 
 
 (He goes to her.) 
 Good evening, Pleasure ! 
 
 PLEASURE 
 
 (coldly) 
 I beg your pardon ! 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 We've been strangers lately but you remember me, of course \ 
 
 PLEASURE 
 
 (coldly) 
 I can't say that I do 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Youth! — don't you remember? — ^You invited me to the 
 Primrose Path. I haven't been there lately because I've 
 had the misfortune to 
 
 PLEASURE 
 
 (interruptitiff) 
 Stop! it was never intended that the word "misfortune" 
 should be spoken in my presence. It annoys me fright- 
 fully — please step aside 1 
 
 (She exits haughtily into the Cabaret.) 
 
EXPERIENCE 79 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 {to Experience) 
 She doesn't know me — and even her voice is different. It 
 hurts to have her speak that way! 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 The voice of Pleasure is always the thrust of a dagger in 
 the dark. 
 
 {Enter Style and Beauty.) 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 {goes to Beauty) 
 Beauty, you remember me, don't you? 
 
 BEAUTY 
 
 Of course ; we danced the Tango together, didn't we ? 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 No, I never danced a Tango with you — ^but we waltzed to- 
 gether — we were very good friends. 
 
 BEAUTY 
 
 Oh, really; I've forgotten; I waltz with so many — pardon 
 me, won't you? 
 
 {She goes in Cabaret.) 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 {to Style) 
 I'm so glad to see you again. Style ! How have you been ? 
 
 STYLE 
 
 I don't seem to recall you. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Oh, yes, you do. Don't you remember how nice you were 
 to me about my necktie — it was just a little too narrow 
 — remember ? And my trousers were too long — of course, 
 these I have on now are the worse for wear and they 
 are not pressed but I think the length is all right, don't 
 you? 
 
 STYLE 
 
 Have you been drinking? 
 
80 EXPERIENCE 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 No; no, I cut that ^11 out. 
 
 STYLE 
 
 Well, I'm afraid you haven't quite recovered because I don't 
 
 know you and I don't know what you're talking about. 
 
 (Style goes in Cabaret.) 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 {to Experience) 
 Have I changed so very much or what is the matter? 
 
 experience 
 You haven't changed, my boy, and neither has human nature. 
 Fair weather friends have no use for you when there's 
 a storm in your soul. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 It's hard to lose faith in them — but I'm beginning to under- 
 stand. 
 
 {Enter Wealth and Frivolity at other side.) 
 There's Wealth!' I'm sure I can depend upon him. 
 {Goes to Wealth.) 
 
 wealth 
 {to Frivolity) 
 You can believe me — just so long as there's any champagne 
 left in the world I shall devote my life to you. Frivolity! 
 
 youth 
 {to Wealth) 
 Pardon me! 
 
 frivolity 
 {to Wealth) 
 You couldn't find a better way to occupy your time. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 {to Wealth) 
 Good evening, Wealth — how have you been? 
 
EXPERIENCE 81 
 
 WEALTH 
 
 {paying no attention to him — speaks to Frivolity) 
 Every time I sober up lately I begin to moralize and get 
 despondent so if you don't mind I'll shut out all the blue 
 devils by travelling around with you, Frivolity. 
 
 FRIVOLITY 
 
 Of course, Wealth ! — I won't give you time to be despondent. 
 Let's go in and dance — I love dancing! 
 {Exit Frivolity into Cabaret. Wealth is about to fol- 
 low — Youth takes him by the arm.) 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Listen, Wealth, I'll stand for it from the others, but don't 
 you tell me you've forgotten me ! 
 
 WEALTH 
 
 Bless my soul, what is it? What's the matter? 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 You were my friend — ^you taught me how to throw my money 
 away. 
 
 WEALTH 
 
 Did I? 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 You did — and I learned the lesson thoroughly. Now with 
 your influence and advice I mean to do better things. 
 A new spirit is awake within me and I want you to 
 help me. 
 
 WEALTH 
 
 Help you — of course — I'm always helping people — ^but don't 
 take advantage of me when I'm with a lady. Now me- 
 member that — ^here's a bit of money for you! 
 {Holds out a bill to YouTH.) 
 
82 EXPERIENCE 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 {looking at him in astonishment) 
 Money! — you — ^you think I want your money! Well, I 
 don't. You taught me to throw mine away but you can't 
 teach me to take yours like a beggar, 
 
 WEALTH 
 
 Well, what is it you wanted? 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 I wanted a chance to earn it. I wanted a chance to prove 
 to myself that even if Ambition is dead his memory still 
 lives — and you've given it to me. Yes, you, with your 
 smug-faced charity, you have shown me that Experience 
 is right. The friendship of the selfish is a warm wind 
 from the South when the skies are clear, but when trouble 
 comes it's as cold as the blast of Death. Go where Frivol- 
 ity waits for you — you've taught me something worth 
 while this time. Come on, Experience, I'm going to look 
 for Work, 
 
 THE END OF THE EPISODE. 
 
THE SIXTH EPISODE. 
 
 IN THE HOUSE OF THE LAST RESORT. 
 
 IfesCRlPTlON: A dive of the Rathskeller type. Door in 
 back leading to the street. Door at Left 
 leading to the kitchen. Cheap tables 
 about the place. A small platform at 
 Right upon which the performer stands 
 to sing; a piano above platform at Right. 
 
 Discovered: Grovch sitting at a table at Left. Youth, 
 as a waiter, in hb shirt sleeves and an 
 apron, is serving him. Experience, also 
 as a waiter, is at a table at Right, waiting 
 on Disgrace, a man, and Indolence, a 
 woman. Pianist pounding out rag-time 
 on piano. 
 
 GROUCH 
 
 (loudly) 
 Here ! here ! stop that !' I'm not going to learn to eat to music. 
 
 {To Youth.) 
 Say! Tifhat kind of a waiter are you? I ask you for two 
 eggs boiled three minutes and you brii^ me a couple of 
 door knobs. — ^What do you mean? 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 I'm sorry, Grouch, but I brought you what they gave me. 
 
 GROUCH 
 
 Aw, shut up! I'm payin' for what I want — uot what you 
 bring me — see? If you don't know how to wak you 
 shouldn't be here. 
 
 (83) 
 
84 EXPERIENCE 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 That's the trouble — I don't know how to wait. 
 
 GROUCH 
 
 You bet you don't. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Why don't you give a fellow a chance? 
 
 GROUCH 
 
 Give you a chance ! Say ! I've come in here to get waited on 
 — not to give chances. I want things right. 
 {Indicating piece of toast.) 
 
 And look at this! — ^I asked for toast, didn't I? — ^Toast is 
 what I asked for — and what's this? A half-portion of 
 rag-carpet — that's what it is. How am I going to eat 
 it ? — ^how ? — how ? 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Well, I'll tell you. Grouch — if you eat as you usually do I 
 should say it's something like a vacuum cleaner. 
 
 GROUCH 
 
 That'll do! Don't get new, now — don't get newt 
 
 {Holds up coffee cup.) 
 What's this? What do you call this? 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 I haven't found a name for it myself — but the Boss calls it 
 coffee. 
 
 GROUCH 
 
 Coffee! — Huh! Coffee! Where does it come from? 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 I think it's imported from the Ohio River. 
 
 GROUCH 
 
 Oh! is that so! Say! I want to tell you something: — If you 
 want to make a hit with me you wait on me right. I'm 
 a steady customer here and if you want my trade you 
 keep your face closed — and don't talk back — See? 
 
EXPERIENCE 85 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Listen, Grouch — you order fifteen cents worth of food and 
 
 you hand me four dollars worth of abuse. Now eat the 
 
 door knobs and let me alone. 
 ( Turns to Experience^ who has come down stage and is 
 
 watching him.) 
 Oh! Experience, I can't stand this much longer — I can't 
 
 do it. 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 My boy, you still have a foot-hold on the edge of the abyss. 
 Courage! There may be a chance to crawl back to 
 safety. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 It isn't that I have no courage — but look! Look where I 
 am! Look what I've done with my prospects — ^buried 
 them all under the dust of failure. But I have tried, 
 haven't I, Experience? When my friends passed me by 
 I didn't give up, did I? Day after day I walked the 
 streets looking for Work — and couldn't find him. He's 
 so big and powerful — and it's such a little world — I won- 
 der why I couldn't meet him again; and why, to keep 
 body and soul together. Fate should drive me here to the 
 House of Last Resort. 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 You are trying to solve the Riddle of Life, my boy — and the 
 Great Answer can come to you only through sorrow and 
 suffering. 
 
 GROUCH 
 
 {angrily) 
 Waiter!' 
 
 (Youth goes to him. Experience goes up and waits on 
 the man and woman — then exits at Left. Enter Frailty. 
 She goes to table at Right.) 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 {to Grouch) 
 What is it now? 
 
86 EXPERIENCE 
 
 GROUCH 
 
 I want to pay my check. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Two eggs — coffee — toast — twenty cents. 
 
 GROUCH 
 
 {gives coin) 
 There you are — give my nickle in change — I don't believe in 
 giving tips — ^understand ? 
 
 YOUTH 
 {gives him nickle) 
 Listen ! If you gave me a tip you wouldn't eat for a week — 
 and I'd hate to see you lose flesh. 
 
 GROUCH 
 
 Aw! cut it out! 
 Hello, Kid* 
 Hello, Frailty! 
 
 FRAILTY 
 
 Havin' another run-in with Grouch? 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 No ; it's the same one — it's always continued in our next. 
 
 FRAILTY 
 
 Sit down, Kid! 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 No, Frailty! the Boss might catch me — and he's not strong 
 for me anyway. 
 
 FRAILTY 
 
 Aw !■ let him rave. Sit down ! 
 
 YOUTH 
 {sitting down) 
 Well, I'll take a chance. I've been on my feet for eight 
 hours — but there isn't much doing just now. 
 
 FRAILTY 
 
 {to Youth) 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 {going to Frailty) 
 
EXPERIENCE 87 
 
 FRAILTY 
 
 There ain't ever anything doing here till about the time de- 
 cent people hit the hay. You got the blues, ain't you, Kid? 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Well, I'm not holding my sides from laughing — or anything 
 like that. 
 
 FRAILTY 
 
 What's the idea, Kid? 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 What do you mean ? 
 
 FRAILTY 
 
 I've been sizing you up every time I slide in here. You don't 
 belong to this joint. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 I've got to live some way. 
 
 (Grouch falls to sleep quietly — head down on chest.) 
 
 FRAILTY 
 
 I knovi^! we all got to live — someway. I guess you got me 
 sized up, too, ain't you? 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 I don't have time to size anybody up. 
 
 FRAILTY 
 
 Yes, you do. Kid — but you've got the real stuff in your 
 make-up — and that's why I like you. You don't get 
 mushy like some of those drum-heads in the slumming 
 parties and lean over and pat me on the hand and say, 
 "Who done this to you? — Come on, tell me the story of 
 your life, little girl." Gee ! I hate them guys. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 I don't blame you. 
 
 FRAILTY 
 
 Listen, Kid! it's all right for me to be part of the furniture 
 here because I'm a girl and the devil has his brand on 
 
88 EXPERIENCE 
 
 my shoulder — but you don't belong! What put you up 
 against it, Kid — ^booze or a doll? 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Neither one of them. 
 
 FEAILTY 
 
 Ain't you never had a little queen to patter around and make 
 a little fuss over you ? 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Please ! I took the wrong road — that's all. 
 
 FRAILTY 
 
 I'm right with you, Kid. I picked out the wrong road 
 myself — and I picked a bird. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 One with white lights all over it, eh? 
 
 FRAILTY 
 
 Sure !' 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 They make a rotten road look mighty cheerful — those old 
 incandescents. 
 
 FRAILTY 
 
 Ain't it hell, Kid? 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 It is for me — and it must be worse than that for you. 
 
 FRAILTY 
 
 It's a black world for a lot of us, boy. But, come on — 
 let's pin a rose on it. Roses look well on black. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 You know, it does me a lot of good to talk to you — it makes 
 me ashamed of myself for wanting to give up the fight. 
 You're a dead game little sport and I hope you'll come 
 to a turning in your road — and you'll leave all the white 
 
EXPERIENCE B9 
 
 lights behind you and you'll go on and on to a little 
 cottage waiting for you in the sunset. 
 
 FRAILTY 
 
 Don't, Kid — please ! I get dreams like that sometimes — and 
 I dream till my heart aches. But you know what my 
 name is — and the World knows what my name is — and 
 there ain't any man willing to call his wife Frailty. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Gee ! it's tough ! 
 
 FRAILTY 
 
 Aw, come on; let's cut this out — or the weeping willows 
 won't have anything on us. Listen ! I like you, Kid, and 
 I'd go the limit for you because you treat me just ?.s if 
 I was a nice girl. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 You are. 
 
 FRAILTY 
 
 I am — ^with you — and that lets me out. But, say!' never 
 mind about me. — You got to get away from this joint. 
 It's coverin' your soul with poison. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 How am I going to do it? 
 
 FRAILTY 
 
 You've got to get money. Kid! 
 
 {Enter MAKESHIFT, a rough, husky man. He watches 
 them. Experience enters from kitchen and looks on.) 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Money! Listen, girl, you're making me laugh. I should 
 say I have got to get money. 
 
 GROUCH 
 
 {waking up) 
 Waiter ! Where's that waiter ? 
 
 (Youth jumps up quickly.) 
 
90 EXPERIENCE 
 
 MAKESHIFT 
 
 {roughly to Youth) 
 Say! what do yt)u think this is — a front parlor in the St. 
 Regis? Now you cut out this loafin' and chinnin' with 
 the customers or I'll boot you out of my place. 
 
 FRAILTY 
 
 Say, Makeshift — ^you let him alone — ^you big stiff. 
 
 MAKESHIFT 
 
 Is that so? — I'm on all right. I'll throw you out, too. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Now listen, Makeshift; she had nothing to do with it. 
 
 MAKESHIFT 
 
 Shut up — and attend to your work. 
 
 {Turning on Frailty.) 
 And don't you go buttin' in just because you're stuck on him. 
 
 FRAILTY 
 
 WeU, s'pose I am — he ain't stuck on me — and you're a bum 
 sport to go and tip him off. 
 
 (To Youth.) 
 Bring me a beer, Kid. 
 
 {As Youth starts off, Grouch calls him.) 
 
 grouch 
 Waiter! Come here — fresh! 
 
 youth 
 {as he is passing him) 
 Oh, go to hell ! 
 
 (Youth exits at Left. Experience follows him off.) 
 
 grouch 
 {to Makeshift) 
 Get me, Makeshift ! You want to get rid of him if you want 
 my trade. 
 
EXPERIENCE 91 
 
 MAKESHIFT 
 
 Leave him to me; I'll learn him or break his neck. 
 
 {^The habitues of the place begin to gather for their nightly 
 revels — Dissolute, a girl, with Rogue, a man; Illit- 
 erate, a girl, with Sneak, a man; Reckless, a girl, 
 with Cheat, a man. Dissolute and Rogue come down 
 to Makeshift. Dissolute speaks with French accent. ) 
 
 makeshift 
 How are you, Rogue! How are you, Dissolute! Say, get 
 this ! There's a swell slumming party doin' my joint to- 
 night and I don't want you to put anything over. 
 
 dissolute 
 {with French accent) 
 Ah, Makeshift, you are so funny! Why it is we don't put 
 what you call "something over" on these fools that go 
 slumming! My friend Rogue and me — we haye to live 
 — n'est-ce pas! 
 
 rogue 
 Sure, Makeshift, let me pick a sparkler, or fish out a bank 
 roll from dese swell nuts. Me and Disscdute is got to 
 eat, ain't we? 
 
 makeshift 
 Nix! No rough stuff to-night. I give me word to the 
 Captain of the Precinct — and me word is me bond, see! 
 
 dissolute 
 {laughs — goes to Grouch) 
 His word is a bond, eh ! Well, it is some bond. 
 
 {Enter YoUTH with a glass of beer for Frailty — he goes 
 to table — givet ber the beer — she pays for it. Experi- 
 ence enters at same time and waits on tables in back.) 
 
 FRAILTY 
 
 Thank you. Kid ! 
 
 {Whispers.) 
 Don't let Makeshift get your goat. 
 
92 EXPERIENCE 
 
 DISSOLUTE 
 
 {goes to Youth) 
 I could call ze handsome waiter — ^yes! 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 {to Dissolute) 
 You want to order something? 
 
 DISSOLUTE 
 
 Ordaire — ha! I want to talk wiz you. You are not like 
 ze uzzer waiters — ^you have in ze free something — ^what 
 you call! — different, eh? I could put such loving arms 
 around you and I could kiss you, -h, so sweet. 
 rogue 
 {dragging her away roughly) 
 Cut that stuff! 
 
 {To Youth.) 
 You let my doll alone or I'll break your jaw. 
 
 (Youth draws back to hit Rogue — Dissoolute grabs 
 Rogue — Frailty touches Youth on the arm.) 
 
 frailty 
 {warningly) 
 The goat, Kid, the goat! Rough stuff won't get you any- 
 thing. 
 
 MAKESHIFT 
 
 {to Youth) 
 Say! You're goin' to get yours in a minute. Now you get 
 busy or I'll bounce my fist off your bean. 
 (Youth goes to table L., and waits on Reckless and 
 Cheat — going out at Left presently for the order. Ex- 
 perience follows him out. Indolence, a girl, with 
 Rascal, a man, enter. Illiterate comes down to 
 Makeshift.) 
 
 illiterate 
 ( tearfully ) 
 Say, Makeshift, youse has always took me for a lady, ain't 
 youse. 
 
 (Sneak comes down.) 
 
EXPERIENCE 93 
 
 MAKESHIFT 
 
 What's the trouble, Illiterate? 
 
 ILLITERATE 
 
 Say! I'm a lady, I am, and I comes in dis hole in de wall 
 wit dis guy Sneak for a pail of suds. After he goes 
 swimmin' in de suds he tells me he's broke and I got to 
 pay for it. 
 
 SNEAK 
 
 Aw, cheese !■ cheese ! You got de coin, ain't you ? 
 
 ILLITERATE 
 
 Say, I'm a lady, and I pays as I goes, see! — but I ain't goin' 
 to put up my good money to cover your system with a 
 cheap jag. 
 
 MAKESHIFT 
 
 (shakes Sneak) 
 You pay for your own drinks. Sneak — come across! 
 
 SNEAK 
 
 How kin I? I'm flat. 
 
 MAKESHIFT 
 
 What are you doin' in here if you ain't got any coin ? 
 (Makeshift grabs Sneak and runs him out.) 
 
 ILLITERATE 
 
 Once a lady, always a lady! 
 
 (Sits at table. Pianist plays — chatter and laughter — wait- 
 ers running back and forth with beer. Youth and Ex- 
 perience in and out — very busy. Makeshift goes from, 
 table to table and presently gets down to Frailty at 
 table at Left.) 
 
 makeshift 
 
 (to Frailty) 
 
 Say, you're usin' up a lot of table here — where's your John? 
 
94 , EXPERIENCE 
 
 FRAILTY 
 
 Oh, let me alone. 
 
 (To Youth, who is at the next table serving beer.) 
 Gimme another beer, Kid ! 
 
 (Makeshift walks away. Youth gives her a glass of 
 beer from his tray — wipes off the table. Reckless gees 
 down to table J C.) 
 
 MAKESHIFT 
 
 (sees Reckless) 
 Here, here!' This table is reserved. Get out o' here! 
 
 reckless 
 Say, Makeshift, listen ! What was that line of talk you were 
 handing out last night about a swell guy comin' here to 
 sing for your customers? 
 
 (Youth nudges Frailty on the arm — they both listen. 
 Experience joins them.) 
 
 makeshift 
 Well, I engages a cuckoo, see! and I pays him twenty-five 
 bones in advance. Then when he comes down here and 
 sees my place he throws the coin on the floor and beats 
 it. Say ! I hope de next time he hits a high note it chokes 
 him. 
 
 youth 
 {to Experience) 
 If I could get a chance to sing maybe I'd make good ! 
 
 frailty 
 Go after it, Kid. I'll plug for you. 
 
 youth 
 Ask him for me, Experience — please! You know I learned 
 a lot of songs in the Primrose Path — maybe I can put 
 one over. 
 
 cheat 
 {to Makeshift) 
 It ain't goin' to do your place no good to advertise swell 
 singers and then not produce. 
 
EXPERIENCE 95 
 
 MAKESHIFT 
 
 It ain't my fault. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 If I could make good maybe it might lead to something bet- 
 ter — ask him, Experience! 
 
 (Experience goes to Makeshift.) 
 
 FRAILTY 
 
 {to Youth) 
 Singin' is better than beer slingin'! Gee, Kid! I'm rootin' 
 for you ! 
 
 experience 
 {to Makeshift) 
 Your singer didn't show up, eh! 
 
 makeshift 
 No; left me flat. 
 
 experience 
 Give Youth a chance, will you? 
 
 makeshift 
 Who — him ? What do you want to do — drive my customers 
 out? 
 
 experience 
 He won't do that — he'll entertain them — ^let him try. 
 
 makeshift 
 Well, I suppose there's only one way to find out and that's 
 through you, Experience. All right, tell him to tune up. 
 (Experience goes to Youth. Makeshift goes to Left 
 up stage.) 
 
 experience 
 He'll give you a chance — pull yourself together and don't get 
 nervous. 
 
 frailty 
 If the audience gets up and leaves the room you'll still be 
 a hit with me, Kid! 
 
96 EXPERIENCE 
 
 (Makeshift gets to table L-C. Youth goes to pianist — 
 explains about song — Experience stands near Frailty 
 — chatter and laughter.) 
 
 MAKESHIFT 
 
 Order ! Order ! Ladies and gents : I take great pleasure in 
 announcin' the first appearance in my Royal Palace Cafe 
 of — get up on the platform, Kid ! 
 
 (Youth does so — he is very nervous.') 
 
 The first appearance of — ^what's your singin' name, Kid? 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 It's immaterial. 
 
 MAKESHIFT 
 
 I takes great pleasure, ladies and gents, in introducin' Imma- 
 terial, the singin' wonder of dis city. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Listen, don't call me a wonder, because I'm not, and it makes 
 me conscious. 
 
 MAKESHIFT 
 
 Well, get conscious. You make good or I'll throw you out. 
 Cut loose ! 
 
 (Makeshift walks off.) 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 {sings — plaintively and nervously) 
 There's a Big Road in the City 
 
 That they call The Great White Way, 
 Where the bright lights — staring white lights — 
 
 Turn the night-time into day; 
 But you're lonely when you walk it 
 
 For you want once more to find 
 In the shadows, in the darkness, 
 
 That Old Road you left behind : — 
 
EXPERIENCE 9Z 
 
 REFRAIN 
 
 It's the Old Road back to Homeland, 
 
 It's the outcast's only goal, 
 Where the ever cruel white lights 
 
 Throw no shadows on your soul. 
 It's the Old Road back to Childhood, 
 
 It's the road you want to roam. 
 With the stars above to guide you — 
 
 It's the Road to Home, Sweet Home! 
 
 SECOND VERSE 
 
 With your pockets lined with money 
 
 You can walk The Great White Way; 
 It's a fine road — song and wine road! 
 
 Just an endless holiday; 
 But when once your gold has vanished 
 
 In the cold gray dawn you'll find 
 That it's dreary and you're weary 
 
 For the Road you left behind : — 
 
 REFRAIN 
 
 It's the Old Road back to Homeland, 
 
 It's the outcast's only goal, 
 Where the ever cruel white lights 
 Throw no shadows on your soul. 
 It's the Old Road back to Childhood, 
 
 It's the road you want to roam. 
 With the stars above to guide you — 
 It's the Road to Home, Sweet Home! 
 {While Youth is repeating the refrain Makeshift en- 
 ters and sees that his customers are sentimentally affected 
 by the song to an extent that some of the women are 
 weeping and the men are downcast. MAKESHIFT drags 
 Youth from the platform.) 
 
98 EXPERIENCE 
 
 MAKESHIFT 
 
 It won't do, I tell you ! That mush stuff don't go with me. 
 You got a lot of these dames bawlin' their eyes out — that 
 don't sell beer! 
 
 (TAe habitues of the place applaud Youth.) 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 But wait a minute — the people like me. 
 
 MAKESHIFT 
 
 Like you — nothing! They just made a noise with their hands 
 to keep from throwin' the furniture at you — I'm wise. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 I'll sing every evening — just for my board, if you'll let me. 
 I'll learn a lot of songs. 
 
 MAKESHIFT 
 
 No, I tell you ! No ! You learn to be a waiter — and learn 
 it quick or out you go. 
 
 {Walks away.) 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 {to Experience) 
 Well, I didn't make good? 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 I thought you did. 
 
 FRAILTY 
 
 Sure you made good. Kid. Why, to me you had Caruso 
 making faces at himself. 
 
 {Enter the slumming party — Pleasure^ Beauty, Fash- 
 ion, Style and Wealth. Makeshift meets them — 
 sits them at the table reserved for them in C.) 
 makeshift 
 Glad to see you, ladies and gents ! This way ! 
 
 youth 
 {seeing them — speaks to Experience) 
 Look, Experience — they'll know me and recognize me. What 
 am I to do? 
 
EXPERIENCE 99 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 They'll not know you, my boy, because they look upon the 
 scene with eyes that are blind to the truth and in their 
 hearts there is no understanding. 
 
 (Experience goes up stage.) 
 
 MAKESHIFT 
 
 {to Youth) 
 Say! Now is the limit, see! Ain't that your table — don't 
 you see ladies and gents settin' there ? Go on — ^get busy ! 
 {Pushes him to table at C.) 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 {shame-faced, R. of table C.) 
 Order, ladies and gents! 
 
 PLEASURE 
 
 {to Others) 
 Oh! Here is the waiter! Typical of the place, isn't he? 
 
 BEAUTY 
 
 Depraved face, I think! 
 
 STYLE 
 
 Quite ! Wicked-looking eyes ! 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 {getting angry) 
 Orders, please! 
 
 FASHION 
 
 Fancy! He doesn't even glance at my gown! 
 
 WEALTH 
 
 {to the others) 
 Shall we have some wine? 
 
 PLEASURE 
 
 Oh, not here! Wine would be terribly out of place. That 
 sort of waiter doesn't suggest wine \ 
 
100 EXPERIENCE 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 {angrily) 
 Orders, ladies and gents ! 
 
 BEAUTY 
 
 Vicious looking, isn't he? 
 
 STYLE 
 
 Quite. Notice the way he glares. 
 
 WEALTH 
 
 Shall we try some beer? 
 
 PLEASURE 
 
 Oh, do! Beer sounds so slummy. 
 
 WEALTH 
 
 {to Youth) 
 Bring me a lot of it — enough for everybody in the place. 
 (Youth starts for exit — stops up stage — tells Make- 
 shift what Wealth said and exits at Left. Make- 
 shift sends EXPERIENCE and other waiters after beer 
 for the crowd.) 
 
 PLEASURE 
 
 Oh, Fashion, don't you love them? — such murderous types. 
 
 FASHION 
 
 Yes, Pleasure, but they don't look at my clothes. Why 
 should I come here if I'm not to be noticed ! 
 
 wealth 
 Pardon me!' 
 
 {Crosses to the table where Frailty is sitting.) 
 
 fashion 
 Oh, he's going to speak to that girl! 
 
 frivolity 
 Wait a moment. Wealth; — didn't you say you were going 
 to devote all your time to me? 
 
EXPERIENCE 101 
 
 WEALTH 
 
 I'm afraid I've said that to a great many ladies. 
 
 PLEASURE 
 
 Wealth is so cosmopolitan, isn't he? 
 
 WEALTH 
 
 (to Frailty) 
 Good evening! 
 
 FRAILTY 
 
 Hello, Pop! 
 
 WEALTH 
 
 May I buy you a glass of beer ? 
 
 FRAILTY 
 
 You ain't goin' to hurt my feelings. 
 
 (Youth, Experience and other waiters on with beer. 
 Youth puts four glasses on table for Pleasure's party.) 
 
 WEALTH 
 
 {calling Youth) 
 Waiter! Some beer! 
 
 (Youth crosses — puts two glasses at Frailty's table. 
 The pianist plays — chatter — laughter — the waiters very 
 busy — Makeshift moving about for several seconds. 
 Indolence^ finding that Rascal, her escort, has left her 
 and has gone over to flirt with Illiterate, throws a 
 beer mug at his head, misses him and breaks a lot of 
 dishes. There follows a row typical of the place.) 
 
 indolence 
 {to Illiterate) 
 Whata you try to do, eh ? 
 
 illiterate 
 Aw, beat it. Indolence, you Wop! 
 
 indolence 
 So, you calla me da Wop, eh? 
 
 {To Rascal.) 
 And you — you makea for me one double-cross, eh? 
 
102 EXPERIENCE 
 
 RASCAL 
 
 No, no; I justa speaka da good eve! 
 
 INDOLENCE 
 
 Oh, you speaka da good eve! — then I speaka da good night! 
 {Gets knife from her stocking — Makeshift grabs her 
 hand. ) 
 
 MAKESHIFT 
 
 Cut that, now — get back to your beer drinkin' or I'll throw 
 the whole bunch of you out. 
 
 INDOLENCE 
 
 {dragging Rascal with her) 
 You cornea with me or I makea plenty da work for da Doc ! 
 
 MAKESHIFT 
 
 Order! Order! Ladies and gents, I wants youse to drink 
 to Wealth, which has treated you so royal. 
 {All the habitues of the place rise — raise their beer glasses 
 and shout : "Here's looking at you. Wealth !" Wealth 
 acknowledges by rising and bowing. Chatter. Pianist 
 plays. ) 
 
 PLEASURE 
 
 Exciting, isn't it. Beauty? 
 
 BEAUTY 
 
 Extremely ! but the atmosphere isn't good for my complexion. 
 
 FASHION 
 
 I hate the place — there's nobody here to notice my clothes. 
 
 STYLE 
 
 {rising) 
 I don't care for slumming. One never knows just what to 
 wear. 
 
 WEALTH 
 
 {to Frailty) 
 I'm sorry you won't tell me the story of your life. I feel 
 very sympathetic to-night. 
 
EXPERIENCE 103 
 
 FRAILTY 
 
 Listen, Pop ! Carry your sympathy a little steadier — ^you're 
 spilling It. 
 
 PLEASURE 
 
 (to Youth, who stands near their table) 
 Waiter! Tell Wealth we are quite ready to go. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 {to Wealth) 
 They're waiting for you. 
 
 wealth 
 
 {getting up) 
 
 All right, but don't touch me on the shoiJder — I don't like It. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 I'm sorry, {Exit at L.) 
 
 wealth 
 {gives money to Makeshift) 
 Keep the change, my man ! 
 
 (Makeshift, elated, goes over to Pleasure — speaks in 
 pantomime. She ignores him. He turns away.) 
 
 WEALTH 
 
 {to Frailty) 
 Any objection to my taking a kiss before I go? 
 
 frailty 
 What do you want to kiss me for? 
 
 WEALTH 
 
 Just a passing fancy. 
 
 frailty 
 {bitterly) 
 Put it straight, Pop. You mean you want to kiss me just 
 because you can pay for it. 
 
 WEALTH 
 
 Certainly — I intend to pay for it. 
 
104 EXPERIENCE 
 
 ( Takes out a "fat" pocketbook — extracts a. bill therefrom 
 and puts bill on table.) 
 
 FRAILTY 
 
 Gee! You're full of sentiment, ain't you? 
 
 WEALTH 
 
 Come on ; I'm not in the habit of waiting. 
 
 FRAILTY 
 
 {turns — sees him putting his pocketbook in the breast 
 pocket of his coat) 
 All right, Pop, you can kiss me — and you bet you'll pay for it. 
 (She puts one arm around him — he kisses her and as he 
 does so she steals his pocketbook.) 
 
 WEALTH 
 
 There, my girl, that's an easy way to earn money, isn't it? 
 
 FRAILTY 
 
 {bitterly) 
 Easy — sure! Listen, Pop; it's guys like you that keeps the 
 devil laughin' his head off. 
 
 ( The Slumming Party rises from the table.) 
 
 PLEASURE 
 
 Come, Wealth, I'm beginning to weary of slumming. It's 
 all so very sordid. I wonder why people select this sort 
 of life! 
 
 WEALTH 
 
 If they didn't select it there would be no contrast in life for 
 us, my dear Pleasure. 
 
 {To Frailty.) 
 Good night! 
 
 FRAILTY 
 
 Good night, Popf 
 
EXPERIENCE 105 
 
 (Makeshift leads the Slumming Party out to the street. 
 They are all laughing and chattering as they go. The 
 habitues of the place follow the Slumming Party to the 
 street in quest of spoil. Experience exits, followed by 
 the pianist. Frailty goes to door at Left, calls Youth.) 
 
 FRAILTY 
 
 Come here, Kid! 
 
 (Youth enters.) 
 It's all right now — ^you can get a fresh start. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 What do you mean? 
 
 FRAILTY 
 
 I mean you got money 
 
 (Shows the pocketbook.) 
 — money to lift you out of the mud. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Where did you get that? 
 
 FRAILTY 
 
 I snitched it from old Wealth. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Oh, no, girl, no! That's dead wrong. 
 
 FRAILTY 
 
 Wrong, nothing. He wanted to kiss me, didn't he? — and I 
 put my own price on a kiss I give to a mutt like that. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 But it's wrong, girl! — we'll have to call him back to give 
 him his money. 
 
 (He starts for the door.) 
 
 FRAILTY 
 
 (stopping him) 
 Listen, Kid ; don't be foolish. He's never going to miss it — 
 it's only car-fare to him and it's a life-saver to you — be 
 sensible. 
 
106 EXPERIENCE 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Pkase, girl. Listen, I don't want his money and neither 
 do you. Give me the pocketbook. I'll run after him 
 and give it to him. 
 
 {As Youth takes the pocketbook and starts for the door 
 enter Makeshift, Wealth and Law, a Policeman. 
 Youth holds the pocketbook under his arm.) 
 
 makeshift 
 {coming down) 
 Pulled that rough stufF, did she? 
 
 wealth 
 Yes, the girl must have taken my pocketbook. I didn't speak 
 to anybody else. 
 
 makeshift 
 Frisk her, Law. She must have it on her. 
 
 LAW 
 
 {handling her roughly) 
 Come on, now; turn over that pocketbook. Where is it? 
 
 WEALTH 
 
 It isn't the amount of the money — it's just the idea of being 
 robbed. 
 
 LAW 
 
 Come across with that coin — it's five years for you this time, 
 my girl. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 {to Wealth) 
 Here's your pocketbook. Let her alone. 
 
 LAW 
 {turning on Youth) 
 So you're the one, eh? All right, I'll take you. 
 
 FRAILTY 
 
 No ! don't take him — I stole it myself. 
 
EXPERIENCE 107 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 She didn't steal it. You found it on me, didn't you? 
 
 MAKESHIFT 
 
 It's a frame-up. They're both in on it. 
 
 LAW 
 
 I'll run them both in, 
 
 {To Wealth.) 
 You, Wealth, appear against them to-morrow morning at 
 eight o'clock. 
 
 WEALTH 
 
 Eight o'clock! Oh, my dear Law, that's quite impossible. 
 
 LAW 
 
 If you don't press the charge what can I do? 
 
 WEALTH 
 
 And it might get in the newspapers — the notoriety would 
 
 hurt me. Here ! 
 
 {Takes money from pocketbook — gives it to MAKESHIFT.) 
 Buy some cigars. Let them go — it doesn't matter — I have 
 
 the money back and I hate to get up so early. 
 
 LAW 
 
 {to Frailty and Youth)' 
 It's a narrow squeak for you two crooks, but I'll get you next 
 time. 
 
 (To Wealth.) 
 Come on, I'll walk to your taxi with you. 
 
 wealth 
 
 Do, please! I'm not safe in this part of town. Goodnight! 
 
 (Exit Wealth and Law.) 
 
 makeshift 
 Good night! 
 {Pause for a moment — then Makeshift speaks to Youth 
 and Frailty.) 
 
108 EXPERIENCE 
 
 Well, you put one over on me, didn't you? You crabbed 
 my slumming parties by makin' my house a hold-up joint. 
 {To Frailty.) 
 You — ^you! — Now you get out of here! 
 
 FRAILTY 
 
 I'm goin' — and you don't have to tell me. 
 
 MAKESHIFT 
 
 {to Youth, threateningly') 
 And I'll attend to you in a minute. 
 
 {Exit Makeshift at L.) 
 
 FRAILTY 
 
 {going to Youth — tearfully') 
 Good-bye, Kid! Listen, please; that was the first pocket- 
 book I ever snitched, and I won't do it again — you believe 
 me, don't you. Kid? 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 I do believe you, girl, I do. 
 
 FRAILTY 
 
 Thanks! It's dark, ain't it? — black dark for both of us. 
 Say, would you mind kissing me — just as if you was my 
 brother? 
 
 {He kisses her.) 
 Gee! You're nice, Kid, and I won't never forget you — and 
 you'll hold on, won't you? — Hold on to something — 
 maybe there'll come a light for you through the darkness. 
 {Enter Makeshift.) 
 
 MAKESHIFT 
 
 {to Frailty) 
 Come on now, get out of here, you little crook. 
 
 frailty 
 {turning on him) 
 Say, you big stiff, if I was as crooked as you are I'd roll out 
 of here like a hoop. 
 
EXPERIENCE 109 
 
 {To Youth.) 
 Good-bye, Kid! I'm goin' to try to pray to God for you 
 and He might hear me even if it's too late to pray for 
 
 myself Good-bye ! 
 
 {She goes out quietly and closes the door behind her.) 
 
 MAKESHIFT 
 
 {to Youth) 
 Now, you I 
 
 {Crosses to him.) 
 I told you I was goin' to boot you out of here and I am. 
 I had no business to take you in in the first place — I 
 might of knowed you was a dirty thief! 
 
 youth 
 That's enough!' 
 
 {He turns on Makeshift — hits him — they fight. Make- 
 shift is too powerful for him and finally knocks Youth 
 down — he lies there, unconscious, on the floor.) 
 
 makeshift 
 Now you crawl out of here or I'll break your neck ! 
 
 (Makeshift walks off at Left. Youth lies there in 
 silence for five seconds. Experience opens the door — 
 looks around for Youth — sees him lying there sense- 
 less — hurries to him, — revives him — gets him on his feet.) 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 It's all right, my boy! I'm with you! 
 
 youth 
 {exhausted) 
 He was too heavy for me — too heavy, that's it. But I'll try 
 again, when I get my breath. 
 
 (PoVERTYj a gruesome figure clad in rags, enters through 
 the doorway. Youth turns — sees him — is frightened.) 
 Look! look! who is that? 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 Poverty ! 
 
no EXPERIENCE 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Poverty ! 
 
 POVERTY 
 
 I am always waiting to greet those who are thrown out of 
 The House of Last Resort. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Well, you needn't wait for me. 
 
 {Turns his back on him.) 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 You can't snub Poverty, my boy ; he's had nothing but curses 
 since the world began but he thrives upon them. 
 
 POVERTY 
 
 The boy doesn't know who I am. 
 
 YOUTH 
 {turning quickly) 
 I do know you! You are Death's step-brother — I know! 
 When you come creeping into a home Happiness dies 
 from fright — and with your touch you turn the hours of 
 enjoyment into ages of despair. Grin at me, if you will, 
 but I know you to be the King of Suffering and all the 
 sorrows of the world are your courtiers. Go on, grin, 
 grin — but you're not going to get me — not while I can 
 
 hold my head up — not while I can struggle and fight 
 
 {Picks up chair.) 
 Go on, now; get out of here, damn you — get out! get out! 
 get out ! 
 
 (Youth is driving Poverty towards the door as the cur- 
 tain falls.) 
 
 THE END of THE EPISODE. 
 
 INTERVAL. 
 
THE SEVENTH EPISODE. 
 
 IN THE STREET OF REMORSE. 
 
 Description : A gloomy side-street at dawn. 
 
 Discovered; Youth and Experience walking on. 
 
 youth 
 
 {going through his empty pockets') 
 
 Gone! gone! I threw away every penny I had — and I'm 
 
 sick — sick in body and mind and soul. 
 
 experience 
 
 Of course, you're sick — and you're broke — and your nerves 
 
 are all gone — ^but you're living. 
 
 youth 
 Yes, but I've lost Ambition. I don't seem to care any more 
 what happens. 
 
 experience 
 You're in the valley now, my boy, and it's a hard climb up 
 the mountain-side. 
 
 (Poverty enters.) 
 
 youth 
 See — there he is again — he's been following me for days — 
 speak to him — send him away. 
 
 experience 
 {turning — sees Poverty) 
 Who — ^him? Why send him away? 
 
 {Goes to Poverty.) 
 Well met, old friend Poverty. 
 
 poverty 
 We've been through many a hard fight together, haven't we, 
 Experience ? 
 
 {Laughs mirthlessly.) 
 
 (Ill) 
 
112 EXPERIENCE 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 Youth, the time has come now — you must meet Poverty. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 I don't want to meet him — don't you see he frightens me. 
 Tell him to go away — I can't bear the sight of him. 
 
 POVERTY 
 
 That's the trouble with me — I never was much of a hand 
 for making a good impression on anybody. 
 
 {Laughs mirthlessly over Youth's shoulder.) 
 
 , YOUTH 
 
 {jumping away) 
 Merciful God! why does he come so close to me? — I can't 
 stand it — I'm too nervous, I tell you. 
 (Poverty leers at him.) 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 You'll find he's not such a bad looking chap if you can get 
 
 the courage to like him. 
 (Delusion enters. He is a "dope" — sallow-faced and thin.) 
 
 DELUSION 
 
 {to Experience) 
 How're you, Bo — slip me ! 
 
 {Puts out his hand to Experience.) 
 
 experience 
 {shaking hands with Delusion) 
 Oh, it's my old friend. Delusion — glad to see you — how are 
 they coming? 
 
 delusion 
 In carriages. Bo — right up to the front door in carriages — 
 it's a gay life if you play it with a copper on. 
 
 experience 
 Youth, I want you to know my friend, Delusion. 
 
EXPERIENCE 113 
 
 DELUSION 
 
 {putting out his hand to Youth) 
 Slip me, Kid ! 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Delusion — I'm glad to meet you. 
 
 DELUSION 
 
 That goes double 
 
 {Indicating Poverty.) 
 — but it don't take in the look-out. Why do you let that 
 false-alarm get near enough to pass you the crushed ice? 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 I can't get away from him. 
 
 DELUSION 
 
 Yes, you can, Bo. I'll take you away from him. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 You! 
 
 DELUSION 
 
 Sure ! — ^That's the best thing I do — getting people away from 
 old frost-face. I've got a forget-factory right around the 
 corner. Come on, I'll put you wise. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 {to Poverty) 
 You thought you had me, damn you — but my friend has 
 fooled you. Hereafter you can frighten somebody else — 
 you rotten old loafer 1 
 
 DELUSION 
 
 Cut out the criticism, Kid — take to your O'SuUivan's and 
 follow Dandy Dan. 
 
 (Delusion walks off hurriedly at Left.) 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 {following Delusion) 
 Come on, Experience, are you with me? 
 
 (Youth hurries off at Left.) 
 
114 EXPERIENCE 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 {sadly) 
 Only a miracle can save him now. 
 
 POVERTY 
 
 {chuckling) 
 Poor fool ! he'll find there are worse things in the world than 
 Poverty ! 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 Oh, well, it's the privilege of Youth to enjoy first and suffer 
 after. And while he learns this lesson I must hold the 
 book for him. — Farewell, old friend! 
 
 (Experience walks off at Left.) 
 
 POVERTY 
 
 {chuckling) 
 And when Delusion is through with the ycmng fool I'll get 
 him 
 
 {chuckles) 
 — ^if he doesn't fall into the clutches of something worse at 
 heart than I am. 
 
 THE end of the EPISODE. 
 
THE EIGHTH EPISODE. 
 
 IN THE HOUSE OF LOST SOULS. 
 
 Description: A dilapidated room in the poorer quarter of 
 of city. A window in back — broken 
 panes stuffed with rags. Rickety furni- 
 ture — a cheap table and chairs. One door 
 at Right. 
 
 Discovered: A girl, Habit^ a dope-fiend, is discovered 
 rocking to and fro in a chair and moan- 
 ing. In the background is an old hag. 
 Degradation, snivelling and cackling by 
 turns — a drug victim in the advanced 
 stages. 
 
 DEGRADATION 
 
 {placing powder on hand) 
 I'd give you a sniff, Habit — but I ain't got no more. 
 (.Sniffs.) 
 
 HABIT 
 
 Keep It and be damned to you, Degradation! 
 
 DEGRADATION 
 
 {pulling herself together and bracing up under the influence 
 
 of the drug) 
 I crawled through a sewer for the money to get that — and 
 it's worth it. 
 
 (Delusion enters through door at Right. Habit goes 
 to him.) 
 
 habit 
 Delusion, please, gi'me some — quick! 
 
 (115) 
 
116 EXPERIENCE 
 
 DELUSION 
 
 I ain't got none — get away ! 
 
 HABIT 
 
 (on her knees) 
 For the love of God, just enough to bring me back from hell. 
 
 DELUSION 
 
 {pushing her aside roughly — she falls on floor) 
 Aw, get away — don't you know that coke is getting scarce. 
 
 DEGRADATION 
 
 {grinning inanely) 
 Getting scarce!' 
 
 DELUSION 
 
 I ain't got none to spare for a frail like you — I'm saving 
 this for a kid that needs it bad. 
 
 (Youth appears in the door at Right. As he enters he 
 sees Degradation grinning at him and, afraid, he turns 
 to go and finds ESPERIENCE standing in the door.) 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 It's all right, my boy — I'm with you. 
 
 (Youth enters the room, afraid and with nervous steps.) 
 Youth, do you want to meet Degradation? 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 No, no; I should say not. 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 Very well; it's up to you. 
 
 HABIT 
 
 {getting up on her knees to Youth) 
 Please, if you pity those who suffer, get me just enough to 
 bring me back. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 {to Delusion) 
 What does she mean? 
 
EXPERIENCE 117 
 
 DELUSION 
 
 Aw, don't pay no attention to her — she's squealin' for a sniff 
 of coke — she had fifty cents worth yesterday and she don't 
 share it with nobody Come here, Kid ! 
 
 {Takes out small package containing white powder as 
 Youth goes to him.) 
 
 And you, too, old pal. Experience! 
 
 (Experience goes to his Left.) 
 This is all there is in the shop, see — and it's harder to get 
 than a front seat in Heaven. 
 
 ( Habit watches them like a hungry hawk — Degradation 
 snivelling and grinning in the background.) 
 Now, Kid, hold your hand like that, see! 
 
 (Youth does so — Delusion pours a little of the powder 
 on Youth's hand.) 
 Go on now, sniff it up your nose. 
 
 {As Youth starts to do so, Habit suddenly pounces on 
 him — grabs his hand and sniffs the cocaine — Delusion 
 jumps for her — she gets the table between them.) 
 
 Say, what are you trying to pull ? 
 
 habit 
 
 Go on, strike me — beat me — murder me — I don't care — I 
 
 got it and I'm coming back — I'm coming back from hell. 
 
 {Laughs and is joined in the laugh by Degradation — 
 
 the change in her manner, under the influence of the 
 
 drug, is marked.) 
 
 DELUSION 
 
 Aw, you make me sick — get out and hustle for your own hop. 
 {Enter Crime — a burly bully — but a dope fiend.) 
 
 CRIME 
 
 {in the door) 
 Say, Delusion, got any dope? 
 (Youth, afraid of Crime, hides behind Experience.) 
 
118 EXPERIENCE 
 
 Who is that! 
 Crime ! 
 
 YOUTH 
 {frightened) 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 CRIME 
 
 {to Delusion) 
 Well, how about it? Come across with the matin's for one 
 jolt, will you! See, I'm nearly in — I just had a mix-up, 
 see — and I croaked a guy — in cold blood, the Cops will 
 tell you — I'm beginnin' to see the Chair — everywhere 
 I look— 
 
 {Turns — sees Degradatifn grinning at him.) 
 Take that grin off your face or I'll knock your block off. 
 {Reaches for gun.) 
 
 delusion 
 {pacifying him) 
 Just enough left for one sniff all arounid. Here you are, 
 Crime ! 
 
 {Pours powder on Crime's hand.) 
 Here's yours, Experience! Here, Kid, go to it! 
 
 {Gives some to each — turns — finds Degradation grin- 
 ning at his elbow.) 
 
 Beat it, you bum — s'pose I'm going to waste this good stuff 
 on you? 
 {All sniff. Youth sniffs some of his and, without being 
 noticed by the others, gives some to Habit. All sniff 
 and the effect is speedily noticeable. Degradation in 
 the background, snivelling and grinning.) 
 
 crime 
 {under the influence of the drug) 
 What, me ! — I should say not I — ^There ain't no Chair waitin' 
 for me — I'm independent, I am — I got a saloon and I'm 
 
EXPERIENCE 119 
 
 rich — I'm Boss of my ward — that's what I am — I'm Boss. 
 {His face reflects the wonders he dreams. DEGRADATiOisr 
 laughs. ) 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Wonderful! I'm floating over an azure sea and summer 
 breezes sing sweet lullabies as I sail on and on. 
 {His face reflects his thoughts of happiness. Degradation 
 laughs.) 
 
 HABIT 
 
 {in ecstasy) 
 
 I'm back in my home town — see, there's my mother — "Hello, 
 
 Jennie!" she says. You are glad to see me, ain't you, 
 
 Mumsey — see, I'm rich — ^look at all the nice things I 
 
 brought you and I ain't never goin' away from you 
 
 again, Mumsey, never, never 
 
 {Her voice dies away and she drops limply in the chair. 
 Degradation laughs.) 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 {alarmed) 
 What's the matter? — the azure sea is gone — there are cruel 
 rocks in its place and a cold wind is howling about me. 
 {The faces of the others show that the ecstatic effect of 
 the drug is working off.) 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 It's the treacherous, lying drug, my boy — ^it carries you out 
 into an ocean of glory and leaves you there — to peri^ of 
 thirst and hunger. 
 
 CRIME 
 
 There it is again — that damn Chair ! 
 
 {Sniffs his hand in a vain effort to get more of the powder.) 
 
 HABIT 
 
 Oh, my God — no, no, no — don't let me wake — don't !■ don't ! 
 (Degradation laughs — Delusion stirs around in his seat 
 uneasily — feels in his pocket — sniffs his hand. PoVEKxy 
 appears — laakmg thr»ugh window in back.^ 
 
120 EXPERIENCE 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 My head is bursting with pain- 
 
 ( Turns — screams. ) 
 Look! look! there's Poverty leering at me through the 
 window. 
 
 {Shaking DELUSION.) 
 You lied to me, damn you — you told me I'd forget. 
 
 DELUSION 
 
 {looking up at Youth sleepily) 
 No more — no more! 
 
 {Relapses into troubled sleep.) 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 I can't stand this pain — there must be some way to get more 
 of that stufE. 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 Only one way — through him — Crime. 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 {hesitates — then, driven by a mirthless laugh from Poverty^ 
 
 goes to Crime) 
 All right, Crime; come on. 
 
 CRIME 
 
 Yes, yes, we'll go together and get it — ^just a minute — ^WMt 
 
 till they cover up that damned Chair. 
 {Screams in fright.) 
 Don't ! don't take me there — no, no ; I'm not ready yet — no, 
 
 no! 
 
 HABIT 
 
 {moaning) 
 Le'me go back there — just an hour — just an hour!' 
 (Degradation laughs.) 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 {sinking down in a chair) 
 Oh, what is this that's tearing at my heart? 
 
EXPERIENCE 121 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 The agony that tears at every heart when Nature is ill- 
 treated and reviled. 
 
 (Degradation laughs inanely — Crime and Delusion 
 groan — Habit moans in pain.) 
 
 Suffer! suffer! — we are poor lost souls — all of us — ^harried 
 and scourged through every dark recess of hell by fiends 
 incarnate 
 
 (^Groans and moans as before.) 
 
 Suffer! suffer! — miserable human wrecks, rotting on the 
 shores of time — our minds nothing but dismal swamps 
 full of loathsome vapors and each body the home of hor- 
 rors unspeakable. 
 
 ( Groans as before, ) 
 
 Hear our groans and look at us — we who are made in the 
 image of God, grovelling like beasts in the dirt of ages. 
 And why — ^why — because there are those who call them- 
 selves men who sell and barter this vile stuff that they 
 may rise to riches through the agonies of the weak — a 
 curse upon them — the curse of a multitude of murdered 
 souls follow them through all the confines of eternity. 
 
 (Habit screams and falls on the floor.) 
 
 Oh! Everlasting God! mercy, mercy, mercy! 
 
 (Drops exhausted — head on table — all are moaning in 
 pain.) 
 
 THE END OF THE EPISODE. 
 
THE NINTH EPISODE. 
 
 IN THE STREET OF FORGOTTEN DAYS. 
 
 Description: A Street showing the end of a church at 
 Right — with a stained glass window, 
 lighted up. 
 
 Discovered: Crime, walking into the scene, followed by 
 Youth and Experience. 
 
 crime 
 Come on; it's only a block away. I'll have to beat that 
 coke peddler over the head to get it. 
 
 (^Just as they step within the light from the stained glass 
 window of the church the organist plays a familiar hymn. 
 Youth stops — Experience stops— Csiue. takes a step 
 or two — stops.) 
 
 youth 
 Listen \ 
 
 {They all listen to a few bars of the musk.) 
 
 crime 
 Aw, come on ! 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Where are we? 
 
 experience 
 In the Street of Forgotten Days. 
 
 ( They are silent as the organist g»et •«.)] 
 
 CRIME 
 Say, get a move on you! 
 
 (122) 
 
EXPERIENCE 123 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Wait! Some good angel has come to me on the wings of 
 that music. Through the mist in my mind I seem to 
 
 see 
 
 (To Experience.) 
 
 Help me — there's someone stretching out her hand to me. 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 Your mother! 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Yes, yes; my — my mother! 
 
 (The music swells out.) 
 
 CRIME 
 
 Say! what's the matter with you? — Come on! 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 (to Crime) 
 Wait — ^please ! 
 
 (To Experience.) 
 Tell me — your vision is clearer than mine. 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 Don't you remember the little church on that green-topped 
 hill across the valley — and the woman whose voice was 
 kindness itself 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 My dear dead mother ! 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 How proudly she dressed you in your Sunday best and led 
 you by the hand into the cool shadows of the church and 
 bade you remember always the simple teachings you heard 
 there together ! 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 My mother — she comes to me now in the Street of Forgotten 
 Days — the Street of Forgotten Days !■ 
 
 (Just then from the church is heard the hymn:) 
 
124 EXPERIENCE 
 
 "Lead Kindly Light, 
 
 Amid the encircling gloon>— 
 
 Lead Thou me on ; 
 
 The night is dark 
 
 And I am far from home — 
 
 Lead Thou me on !" 
 
 {YouTH^ with a gesture, commands Crime to leave him— 
 then sinks sobbing on his knees beneath the church win- 
 dow — Crime slinks off at Right.) 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 {after a pause — as the music dies away) 
 The miracle has come to pass. The never dying miracle 
 f>f a mother's love! 
 
 THE END OF THE EPISODE. 
 
THE TENTH EPISODE. 
 
 IN THE LAND WHERE THE DREAMER WAKENS. 
 
 Description : The same as The First Episode. 
 
 Discovered: Love standing by the fence, looking off down 
 the lane. She turns presently and sits, 
 dejectedly, on the bench. Hope enters 
 from the cottage. 
 
 HOPE 
 No sign of him, yet? 
 
 LOVE 
 
 No — no sign. 
 
 HOPE 
 
 (comforting Love) 
 He'll be back soon — I'm sure he will. 
 
 LOVE 
 
 No, Hope; he isn't coming back. I can believe in you no 
 longer. Please go away. 
 
 HOPE 
 
 Go away, dear? 
 
 LOVE 
 
 No, no ; I didn't mean that. Without you, Hope, my life 
 would indeed be cheerless. 
 
 HOPE 
 
 I knew you didn't mean it. But you must be patient. He'll 
 be with you soon — even now I feel his presence near us. 
 (125) 
 
126 EXPERIENCE 
 
 (Hope goes in the cottage. Love remains sitting dejectedly 
 on the bench. Presently Youth appears outside the fence 
 — he stands looking at her for a few seconds, then enters 
 slowly through the gate and stands near the bench.) 
 
 Love! 
 
 Youth! 
 
 YOUTH 
 (softly) 
 
 LOVE 
 
 {getting up quickly) 
 {Embraces and kisses him.) 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 You — you've waited for me! 
 
 LOVE 
 
 Waited for you, oh! dear Youth! I've waited when every 
 hour was an age and every day an eternity. But now that 
 I have you again all my heartaches are forgotten in the 
 joy of seeing you. 
 
 (Experience appears outside the fence — remains there a 
 few seconds — then enters through the gate and stands 
 near YoUTH.) 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 But the ring — ^you haven't aslced rae ! You see, dear, it didn't 
 keep all the evil away from me because 
 
 love 
 {interrupting) 
 Don't tell me anything. I know by the light shining from 
 your eyes that your soul is still white and clean. 
 
 experience 
 The eyes of Love are keen and their vision reaches to the 
 distant border-land of Truth. 
 
EXPERIENCE 127 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Oh, pardon me, Love — this is my friend, Experience — to be 
 evermore my best-remembered friend. He has been with 
 me always and he shall be my historian. 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 Yes, but by the fireside — later on! 
 
 (Hope enters from the cottage. Youth goes to her and 
 embraces her.) 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 Hope! dear, dear sister! 
 
 HOPE 
 
 Youth, I'm so glad you're back. 
 
 LOVE 
 
 {going to Youth) 
 Oh, Youth, how pale you look — and worn and weary. Tell 
 me, did you lose your fight for fame and fortune? 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 He lost his first fight but in losing he conquered the evils 
 in his own heart — and that's the greater victory. 
 
 LOVE 
 
 But, Youth, aren't you going to fight again ? 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 Of course he'll fight again. 
 
 LOVE 
 
 You haven't told me — where is Ambition ? 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 {sadly) 
 He is dead. 
 
 HOPE 
 
 No, no, Youth — ^Ambition sleeps but he never dies. I'll 
 waken him and bring him back to you. 
 {Exit Hope.) 
 
128 EXPERIENCE 
 
 EXPERIENCE 
 
 And when Ambition leads you forth again Love shall be by 
 your side and Experience shall carry the implements of 
 war — and you'll win this time, my boy — ^you'll win the 
 heights of fame and fortune! 
 
 (Hope enters, leading Ambition by the hand.) 
 
 AMBITION 
 {smiling) 
 Youth! 
 
 YOUTH 
 
 {eagerly) 
 Oh, Ambition, give me your hand again and let me try to 
 walk with steps of faith upon that long and narrow 
 road — the only road that leads to Love and Happiness. 
 
 (Ambition puts one arm around Youth and the other 
 around LoVE. He smiles upon them both. EXPERIENCE 
 and Hope show their approval.) 
 
 THE END OF THE PLAY