Hi) 35'S a^atmii ICam i>rl|Dol Etbtarjj Digitized by Microsoft® KD 358.l588'"l9Tr""' ''"""^ Law and laughter / 3 1924 021 685 775 Digitized by Microsoft® This book was digitized by Microsoft Corporation in cooperation with Corneii University Libraries, 2007. You may use and print this copy in iimited quantity for your personai purposes, but may not distribute or provide access to it (or modified or partiai versions of it) for revenue-generating or other commerciai purposes. Digitized by Microsoft® B Cornell University B Library The original of tliis book is in tlie Cornell University Library. There are no known copyright restrictions in the United States on the use of the text. http://www.archive.org/details/cu31924021685775 ■^ Digitize by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® LAW AND LAUGHTER Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® EDWARD THURLOW, BARON THURLOW, LORD CHANCELLOR. Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® LAW AND LAUGHTER BY GEORGE A. MORTON AND D. MACLEOmiALLOCH ILLUSTRATED WITH PORTRAITS OF EMINENT MEMBERS OF BENCH ^ BAR BOSTON: LE ROY PHILLIPS LONDON & EDINBURGH : T. N. FOULIS Digitized by Microsoft® t ?SV77 Printed By Morrison & Gibb Limited, Edinburgh Digitized by Microsoft® TO THE MEMORY OF D. MACLEOD MALLOCH Digitized by Microsoft® " As crafty lawyers to acquire applause Try various arts to get a double cause, So does an author, rummaging his brain. By various methods, try to entertain." Pasquin. Digitized by Microsoft® PREFACE The scope of this volume is indicated by its title — a presentation of the lighter side of law, as it is exhibit- ed from time to time in the witty remarks, repartees, &nd don mots of the Bench and Bar of Great Britain, Ireland, and America. The idea of presenting such a collection of legal /ace tz^-headed,and you are not /i?«^-headed." Lord Erskine's addiction to punning is well known, and many examples might be cited. An action was 28 Digitized by Microsoft® LORD ERSKINE brought against a stable-keeper for not taking proper care of a horse. "The horse," said counsel for the plaintiff, "was turned into the stable, with nothing to eat but musty hay. To such the horse 'demurred.'" — "He should have 'gone to the country,' "at once re- torted Lord Erskine. For the general reader it should be explained that "demurring" and "going to the country" are technical terms for requiring a cause to be decided on a question of law by the judge, or on a question of fact by the jury. Here is another. Alow- class attorney who was much employed in bail-busi- ness and moving attachments against the sheriff for not "bringing in the body" — that is, not arresting and imprisoning a debtor, when such was the law — sold his house in Lincoln's Inn Fields to the Corporation of Surgeons to be used as their Hall. "I suppose it was recommended to them," said Erskine, "from the attorney being so well acquainted 'with the practice of bringing in the body ! ' " Perhaps one of his smartest puns he relates himself. "A case being laid before me by my veteran friend, the Duke of Queensberry — better known as 'old Q' — as to whether he could sue a tradesman for breach of contract about the painting of his house; and the evid- ence being totally insufficient to support the case, I wrote thus: 'I am of opinionthat this actiorfwill not lie unless the witnesses do.' " 29 Digitized by Microsoft® THE JUDGES OF ENGLAND He was also fond of a practical joke. In answer to a circular letter from Sir John Sinclair, proposing that a testimonial should be presented to himself for his eminent public services, Lord Erskine replied: "My dear Sir John, — I am certain there are few in this kingdom who set a higher value on your public services than myself; and I have the honour to sub- scribe" — then, on turning over the leaf, was to be found — "myself, your most obedient faithful servant, "Erskine." "Gentlemen of the jury," were his closing words after an impassioned address, "the reputation of a cheesemonger in the City of London is like the bloom upon a peach. Breathe upon it, and it is gone for ever." Among many apocryphal stories told of expedients by which smart counsel have gained verdicts, this one respecting a case in which Mr. Justice Gould was the judge and Erskine counsel for the defendant is least likely of credit. The judge entertained a most unfav- ourable opinion of the defendant's case, but being very old was scarcely audible, and certainly unintelligible, to the jury. While he was summing up the case, Er- skine, sitting on the King's Counsel Bench, and full in the view of the jury, nodded assent to the various re- 30 Digitized by Microsoft® LORD ERSKINE marks which fell from the judge; and the jufy, imagin- ing that they had been directed to find for the defend- ant, immediately did so. When at the Bar, Erskine was always encouraged by the appreciation of his brother barristers. On one occasion, when making an unusual exertion on behalf of a client, he turned to Mr. Garrow, who was his col- league, and not perceiving any sign of approbation on his countenance, he whispered to him, "Who do you think can get on with that d — d wet blanket face of yours before him." Nor did he always exhibit graciousness to older members. One nervous old barrister named Lamb, who usually prefaced his pleadings with an apology, said to Erskine one day that he felt more timid as he grew older. "No wonder," replied Erskine, "the older the lamb the more sheepish he grows." When he was Lord Chancellor he was invited to at- tend the ministerial fish dinner at Greenwich — known in later years as the Whitebait Dinner — he replied: " To be sure I will attend. What would your fish din- ner be without the Great Seal?" When a stupidjury returns an obviously wrong ver- dict the judge must feel himself in an awkward posi- tion; but in such cases — if they ever occur now — a good precedent has been set by Mr. Justice Maule who, 31 Digitized by Microsoft® THE JUDGES OF ENGLAND when in that predicament, addressed the prisoner in these terms: "Prisoner, your counsel thinks you innocent, the prosecution thinks you innocent, and I think you in- nocent. But a jury of your own fellow-countrymen, in the exercise of such common sense as they possess, have found you guilty, and it remains that I should pass sentence upon you. You willbe imprisoned for oneday, and as that day was yesterday, you are free to go about your business." "May God strike me dead! my lord, if I did it," ex- citedly exclaimed a prisoner who had been tried before the same justice for a serious oflFence, and a verdict of "guilty" returned by thejury. The judge looked grave, and paused an unusually long time before saying a word. At last, amid breathless silence, he began: "As Providence has not seen fit to interpose in your case,it now becomes myduty to pronounce upon you the sent- ence of the law," &c. When somewhat excited over a very bad case tried before him he would delaysentence until he felt calmer, lest his impulse or his temper should lead him astray. On one such occasion he ex- claimed, "I can't pass sentence now. I might be too severe. I feel as if I couldgivethe man five-and-twenty years' penal servitude. Bring him up to-morrow when I feel calmer." — "Thank you, my lord," said the pris- oner, "I know you will think better of it in the morn- 32 Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® THOMAS ERSKINE, BARON ERSKINE, LORD CHANCELLOR, Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® MR. JUSTICE MAULE ing." Next day the man appeared in the dock for sentence. "Prisoner," said the judge, "I was angry yesterday, but I am calm to-day. I have spent a night thinking of your awful deeds, and I find on inquiry I can sentence you to penal servitude for life. I therefore pass upon you that sentence. I have thought better of what I was inclined to do yester- day." There are instances of brief summing up of a case by judges, but few in the terms expressed by this wor- thy judge. "Ifyou believe the witnesses for the plain- tiff, you will find for the defendant; ifyou believe the witnesses for the defendant, you will find for the plain- tiff. If, like myself, you don't believe any of them, Heaven knows which wayyou will find. Consideryour verdict." To Mr. Justice Maule a witness said: "You may be- lieve me or not, but I have stated not a word that is faIse,for I have been wedded to truth from my infancy." — "Yes, sir," said the judge dryly; "but the question is, how long have you been a widower?" In the good old days a learned counsel of ferocious mien and loud voice, practising before him, received a fine rebuke from the justice. No reply could be got from an elderly lady in the box, and the counsel ap- pealed to the judge. "I really cannot answer," said the trembling lady. "Why not, ma'am?" asked the 33 C Digitized by Microsoft® THE JUDGES OF ENGLAND judge. "Because, my lord, he frightens me so." — "So he does me, ma'am," repHed the judge. He was as a rule patient and forbearing, and seldom interfered with counsel in their mode of laying cases before a jury or the Bench, but once he was fairly pro- voked to do so, by the confused blundering way in which one of them was trying to instil a notion of what he meant into the minds of the jury. "I am sorry to interfere, Mr. ," said the judge, "but do you not think that, by introducing a little order into your nar- rative,you might possibly renderyourself a trifle more intelligible? It maybe my fault that I cannot foUowyou — I know that my brain is getting old and dilapidated; but I should like to stipulate for some sort of order. There are plenty of them. There is the chronological, the botanical, the metaphysical, the geographical — even the alphabetical order would be better than no order at all." Baron Thomson, of the Court of Exchequer, was asked how he got on in his Court with the business, when he sat between Chief Baron Macdonald and Baron Graham. He replied,"What between snuff-box on one side, and chatterbox on the other, we get on pretty well!" Sir Richard Bethel, Lord Westbury, and Lord Campbell were on very friendly terms. An amusing 34 Digitized by Microsoft® LORD WESTBURY story is told of a meeting of the two in Westminster Hall, when the first rumour of Lord Campbell's ap- pointment as Lord Chancellor was current. The day being cold for the time of the year, Lord Campbell had gone down to the House of Lords in a fur coat, and Bethel, observingthis, pretended not to recognise him. Thereupon Campbell came up to him and said: "Mr. Attorney, don't you know me?" — "I beg your pardon, my lord,",was the reply. "I mistook you for the Great Seal." Lord Cranworth, Vice-Chancellor, after hearing Sir Richard Bethel's argument in an appeal, said he "would turn thematter over in his mind." Sir Richard turning to his junior with his usual bland calm utter- ance said: "Take a note of that; his honour says he will turn it over in what he is pleased to call his mind." Sir James Scarlett, Lord Abinger, had to examine a witness whose evidencewould be somewhat danger- ous unless he was thrown off his guard and "rattled." The witness in question — an influential man, whose vulnerable point was said to be his self-esteem — was ushered into the box, a portly overdressed person, beaming with self-assurance. Looking him over for a few minutes without saying a word Sir James opened fire: "Mr.Tompkins,! believe?" — "Yes." — "You are a stockbroker, I believe, are you not?" — "I ham." Paus- ing for a few seconds and making an attentive survey 35 Digitized by Microsoft® THE JUDGES OF ENGLAND of him, Sir James remarked sententiously, "And a very fine and well-dressed ham you are, sir." In a breach of promise case Scarlett appeared for the defendant, who was supposed to have been cajoled intol the engagement by the plaintiff's mother, a titled lady. The mother, as a witness, completely baffled the defendant's clever counsel when under his cross-ex- amination; but by one of his happiest strokes of ad- vocacy, Scarlett turned his failure into success. "You saw, gentlemen of the jury, that I was but a child in her hands. What must my client have been?" Sir James was a noted cross-examiner and verdict- getter, but on one occasion hewas beaten. Tom Cooke, a well-known actor and musician in his day, was a wit- ness in a case in which Sir James had him under cross- examination. Scarlett: "Sir, you say that the two melodies are the same,but different; now what do you meanby that, sir?" Cooke: "I said that the notes in the two copies are alike, but with a different accent." Scarlett: "What is a musical accent?" Cooke: "My terms are nine guineas a quarter, sir." Scarlett (ruffled): "Never mind your terms here. I ask you what is a musical accent? Can you see it?" Cooke: "No." Scarlett: "Can you feel it?" 36 Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® RICHARD BETHELL, BARON WESTBURY, LORD CHANCELtOR. Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® LORD ABINGER Cooke: "A musician can." Scarlett (angrily): "Now, sir, don't beat about the bush, but explain to his lordship and the jury, who are expected to know nothing about music, the meaning of what you call accent." Cooke: "Accent in music is a certain stress laid upon a particular note, in the same manner as you would lay stress upon a given word, for the purpose of being better understood. For instance, if I were to say, 'You are an ass,' it rests on ass, but if I were to say, ' You are an ass,' it rests on you. Sir James." The judge, with as much gravity as he could assume, then asked the crestfallen counsel, "Are you satisfied. Sir James." — "The witness may go down," was the coun- sel's reply. Lord Justice Holt, when a young man, was very dis- sipated, and belonged to a club, most of whose mem- bers tookan infamouscourseof life. Whenhis lordship was engaged at the Old Baily a man was convicted of highway robbery, whom the judge remembered to have been one of his early companions. Moved by cur- iosity, Holt, thinking the man did not recognise him, asked what had become of his old associates. The culprit making a low bow, and giving a deep sigh, re- plied, "Oh, my lord, they are all hanged but your lord- ship and I." 37 Digitized by Microsoft® THE JUDGES OF ENGLAND We have already given examples of personalities in the retorts of counsel upon members of the Bench, and if the same derogatory reflection can be traced in the two following anecdotes of judges'retorts on coun- sel, it is at least veiled in finer sarcasm. A nervous young barrister was conducting a first case before Vice-Chancellor Bacon, and on rising to make his opening remarks began in a faint voice: "My lord, I must apologise — er — I must apologise, my lord" — "Go on, sii-," said his lordship blandly; "so far the Court is with you." The other comes from an Austral- ian Court. Counsel was addressing Chief Justice Holroyd when a portion of the plaster of the Court ceiling fell, andhe stopping his speech for the moment, incautiously advanced the suggestion, "Dry rot has probably been the cause of that, my lord." — "I am quite of your opinion, Mr. ," observed his lord- ship. On the other hand, judges can be severely personal at times, and Lord Justice Chitty was almost brutal in a case where counsel had been arguing to distraction on a bill of sale. "I will nowproceed to address myself to the furniture — an item covered by the bill,"counsel continued. "You have been doing nothing else for the last hour," lamented the weary judge. And Mr. Justice Wills once made a rather cutting remark toa barrister. The barrister was, in the judge's 38 Digitized by Microsoft® LORD BROUGHAM private opinion, simply wasting the time of the Court, and, in the course of a long-winded speech, he dwelt at quite unnecessary length on the appearance of cer- tain bags connected with the case. "They might," he went on pompously, "they might have been full bags, or they might have been half-filled bags, or they might even have been empty bags, or — ." — "Or perhaps," dryly interpolated the judge, "they might have been wind-bags! " When Lord Brougham attained the position of Lord Chancellor he was greatly addicted to the habit of writing during the course of counsel's argument of the case being heard before him. On one occasion this practice so annoyed Sir Edward Sugden, whenever he noticed it, that he paused in the course of his argument, expecting his lordship to stop writing; but the Chan- cellor, without even looking up, remarked, "Go on, Sir Edward; I am listening to you." — "I observe thatyour lordship is engaged in writing, and not favouring me with your attention," replied Sir Edward. "I am sign- ing papers of mere form," warmly retorted the Chan- cellor. "You may as well say that I am not to blowmy nose or take snuff while you speak." When counsel at the Bar, a witness named John Labron was thus cross-examineVl by Brougham at York Assizes: 39 Digitized by Microsoft® THE JUDGES OF ENGLAND "What are you?" "I am a farmer, and malt a little." "Do you know Dick Strother?" "No." "Upon your oath, sir, are you not generally known by the name of Dick Strother?" "That has nothing to do with this business." "I insist upon hearing an answer. Haveyou not ob- tained that name?" "I am sometimes called so." "Now, Dick, as you admit you are so called, do you know the story of the hare and the ball of wax?" "I have heard it." "Then pray have the goodness to relate it to the judge and the jury." "I do not exactly remember it." "Then I will refreshyour memory by relating it my- self. Dick Strother was a cobbler,and being in want of a hare for a friend, he put in his pocket a ball of wax and took a walk into the fields, where he soon espied one. Dick then very dexterously threw the ball of wax at her head,whereit stuck, which so alarmed poor puss that in the violence of her haste she ran in contact with the head of another; both stuck fast together, and Dick, lucky Dick! caught both. Dick obtained great celebrity by telling this wondrous feat, which heal ways affirmed as a truth, and from that every notorious liar in Thor- 40 Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® HENRY SROUGHAM, BARON BROUGHAM AND VAUX, LORD CHANCELLOR. Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® LORD BROUGHAM ner bears the title of Dick Strother. Now, Dick — I mean John — is not that the reason why you are called Dick Strother?" "It may be so." "Then you may go." The same turbulent spirit (Lord Brougham) fell foul of many other law lords. It is well known that in a speech made at the Temple he accused Lord Camp- bell, who had just published his Lives of the Chancel- lors, of adding a new terror to death. Lord Campbell tells an amusing story which shows that he could re- tort with effect upon his noble and learned friend. He says that he called one morning upon Brougham at his house in Grafton Street, who "soon rushed in very eagerly, but suddenly stopped short, exclaiming, 'Lord bless me, is it you? They told me it was Stanley'; and notwithstanding his accustomed frank and courteous manner, I had some difiSculty in fixing his attention. In the evening I stepped across the House to the Op- position Bench, where Brougham and Stanley were sitting next each other, and. addressing the latter in the hearing of the former, I said, ' Has our noble and learnedfriend told you the disappointment he suffered this morning? He thought he had a visit from the Leader of the Protectionists to offer him the Great Seal, and it turned out to be only Campbell come to bore him about a point of Scotch law.' Brougham: 41 Digitized by Microsoft® THE JUDGES OF ENGLAND ' Don't mind what Jack Campbell says; he has a pre- scriptive privilege to tell lies of all Chancellors, dead and living.'" According to the same authority, Broughamjssas at one time very anxious to be made an earl, but his de- sire was entirely quenched when Lord John Russell gave an earldom to Lord Chancellor Cottenham. He is said to have been so indignant that he either wrote or dictated a pamphlet in which the new creation was ridiculed, and to which was appended the significant motto, "The offence is rank." The common feeling with regard to Sir James Scar- lett's (LordAbinger) success in gaining verdicts led to the composition of the followingpleasantry, attributed to Lord Campbell. "Whereas Scarlett had contrived a machine, by using which, while he argued, he could make the judges' heads nod with pleasure. Brougham in course of time got hold of it; but not knowing how to manage it when he argued, the judges, instead of nodding, shook their heads." And it is Lord Campbell who has preserved the fol- lowing specimen of a judge's concluding remarks to a prisonerconvicted of uttering a forged one-pound note. After having pointed out to him the enormity of the offence,and exhorted him to prepare for another world, added: "And I trust that through the merits and the mediation of our Blessed Redeemer,you may there ex- 42 Digitized by Microsoft® LORD CAMPBELL perience that mercy which a due regard to the credit oj the paper currency of the country forbids you to hope for here." Cjo»pbellmarriedMiss Scarlett, a daughter of Lord Abinger, and was absent from Court when a case in which he was to appear was called before Mr. Justice Abbot. "I thought, Mr. Brougham," said his lordship, "thatMr.Campbellwasinthiscase?" — "Yes,mylord," replied Mr. Brougham, with that sarcastic look pecul- iarly his own. "He was, my lord, but I understand he is ill." — "Iamsorrytohearthat,Mr.Brougham,"saidthe judge. "My lord," replied Mr. Brougham, "it is whis- pered here that the cause of my learned friend's ab- sence is scarlet fever." In his native town of Cupar, Fife, Lord Chancellor Campbell's abilities and position were not so much ap- preciated as they were elsewhere. This was a sore point with his father, who was parish minister, and when the son was not selected by the town author- ities to conduct their legal business in London the future Lord Chancellor also felt affronted. On the publication of the Lives of the Chancellors some of his townsmen wrote asking him to present a copy to the local library of his native town, which gave Campbell an opportunity to square accounts with them for their past neglect of him, for he curtly replied to their re- 43 Digitized by Microsoft® THE JUDGES OF ENGLAND quest that "they could purchase the book from any bookseller." An old lady of the town relating some gossip about the Campbell family said, "They meant John for the Church, but he went to London and got on very well" Such was the good lady's idea of the relative positions of minister of a Scottish parish and Lord Chancellor of England. The difference in the pronunciation of a word led to an amiable contest between Lord Campbell and a learned Q.C. In an action to recover damages to a car- riage the counsel called the vehicle a "brougham," pro- nouncing both syllables of the word. Lord Campbell pompously observed, "Broom is the usual pronunci- ation — a carriage of the kind you mean is not incor- rectly called a 'Broom' — that pronunciation is open to no grave objection, and it has the advantage of saving the time consumed by uttering an extra syllable." Later in the trial Lord Campbell alluding to a similar case referred to the carriage which had been injured as an "Omnibus." — "Pardon me, my lord," interposed the Q.C, "a carriage of the kind to which you draw attention is usually termed a 'bus'; that pronunci- ationis open to nograve objection, and it has the great advantage of saving the time consumed by uttering two extra syllables." Mr. Martin (afterwards Baron Martin), when at the 44 Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® JOHN CAMPBELL, BARON CAMPBELL, LORD CHANCELLOR. Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® BARON MARTIN Bar, was addressing the Court in an insurance case, whenhewas interruptedby Baron Alderson,who said, "Mr.Martin,doyou think anyoffice would insure your life?" — "Certainly ,mylord," replied Mr.Martin,"mine is a very good life." — "You should remember, Mr. Mar- tin, that yours is brief existence." This judge's reason for releasing a juryman from duty was equally smart. The juryman in question confessed that he was deaf in one ear. "Then leave the box before the trial begins," observed his lordship; " it is necessary that the jurymen should hear both sides." Baron Martin was one of the good-natured judges who from the following story seem to stretch that ami- able quality to its fullest extent. In sentencing a man convicted of a petty theft he said: "Look, I hardly know what to do with you, butyou can take six months." — "I can't take that, my lord," said the prisoner; "it's too much. I can't take it; your lordship sees I did not steal very much after all." The Baron indulged in one of his characteristic chuckling laughs, and said: "Well that's vera true; ye didn't steal much. Well then, ye can tak' four. Willthatdo — four months?" — "No, my lord, but I can't take that neither." — "Then take three." — "That's nearerthemark,my lord," replied the prisoner, "but I'd rather you'd make it two, if you'll be so kind." — "Very well then, tak' two," said the judge; "and 45 Digitized by Microsoft® THE JUDGES OF ENGLAND don't come again. If you do, I'll give you — well,it'll all depend." Lord Erskine's punning upon legal terms has al- ready been noticed, but no better quip is recorded than that of Lord Chelmsford, when as Sir Frederick Thes- iger, and a leader at the Bar, he took exception to the irregular examination of a witness by a learned Ser- jeant. "I have a right," maintained the serjeant, "to deal with my witness as I please." — "To that I offer no objection," retorted Sir Frederick. "You may deal as you like, but you shan't lead" On all occasions Samuel Warren, the author of Ten Thousand a Year, was given to boasting, at the Bar mess, of his intimacy with members of the peerage. One day he was saying that, while dining lately at the Duke of Leeds, he was surprised at finding no fish of any kind was served. "That is easily accounted for," saidThesiger; "they had probablyeatenit allupstatrs." Walking down St. James's Street one day. Lord Chelmsford was accosted by a stranger, who exclaim- ed, "Mr. Birch, I believe." — "If you believe that, sir, you'll believe anything," replied his lordship as he passed on. In the recently published Cockburn Family Records the following is told of the Chief Justice's ready wit: 46 Digitized by Microsoft® SIR ALEXANDER COCKBURN "At acertain trial an extremelypretty girl was called as a witness. The Lord Chief Justice was very partic- ular about her giving her full name and address. Of course he took note. So did the sheriff's officer! That evening they both arrived at the young lady's door simultaneously, whereupon Sir Alexander tapped the officer on the shoulder, remarking, 'No, no,no, Mr. Sher- iffs Officer, judgment first, execution afterwards!'" There never was a barrister whose rise at the Bar was more rapid or remarkable than that of Sir Alex- ander Cockburn, and along with him was his friend and close associate as a brother lawyer of the Crown and Bencher of the same Inn, Sir Richard Bethel, who became Lord Chancellor a few years after Sir Alexan- der was made Chief Justice. Sir Richard once said to his colleague, "My dear fellow, equity will swallow up your common law." — "I don't know about that," said Sir Alexander, "but you'll find it rather hard of diges- tion." Although the wit of Lord Justice Knight Bruce was somewhat sarcastic it was rarely so severe as that of Lord Westbury. There was always a tone of good humour aboutit. He had indeedakindof grave judicial waggery, which is well exemplified in the following judgment in a separation suit between an attorneyand his wife. "The Court has been now for several days 47 Digitized by Microsoft® THE JUDGES OF ENGLAND occupied in the matrimonial quarrels of a solicitor and his wife. He was a man not unaccustomed to the ways of the softer sex, for he already had nine children by three successive wives. She, however — herself a widow — was well informed of these antecedents; and it ap- pears did not consider them any objection to their union; and they were married. No sooner were they united, however, than they were unhappily disunited by unhappy disputes as to her property. These dis- putes disturbed even the period usually dedicated to the softer delights of matrimony, and the honeymoon was occupied by endeavours to induce her to exercise a testamentary power of appointment in his favour. She, however, refused, and so we find that in due course,at the end of the month, he brought home with some disgust his still intestate bride. The disputes continued, until at last they exchanged the irregular quarrels of domestic strife for the more disciplined warfare of Lincoln's Inn and Doctors Commons." Of this judge the story is told that aChancery coun- sel in a long and dry argument quoted the legal maxim — expressio unius est exclusio alterius — pronouncing the "i" in unius as short as possible. This roused his lordship from the drowsiness into which he had bfeen lulled. "Unyus! Mr. ? We always pronounced that unius at school." — "Oh yes, my lord," replied the counsel; "but some of the poets use it short for the 48 Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® FREDERICK. THESIGER, BARON CHELMSFORD, LORD CHANCELLOR. Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® MR. JUSTICE WILLES sake of the metre." — "You forget, Mr ," rejoined the judge, "that we are prosing here." Mr. Justice Willes.Wjig A,jjudge oftinjdly, dlsgosilispiji; and when he had to't44^^y5a.r«histe h^-ditf sb iiif Sortie ' delicate and refined way like this. A young- ]^J•^^ster feeling in a hobble, wished; td.g£t.6ut orit:J)y:»kyifig, "I throw myself on your lordship's hands." — "Mr. — , I decline the burden," repUed the learned judge. One day in judge's chambers, after being pressed by counsel very strongly against his own views, he said with quaint humour: " I'm one of the most obstinate men in the world." — "God forbid that I should be so rude as to contradict your lordship," replied the counsel. Mr. Montague Williams in his Leaves of a Life re- lates the following story of Mr. Justice Byles. He was once hearing a case in which a woman was charged with causing the death of her child by not giving it proper food, or treating it with the necessary care. Mr. F , of the Western Circuit, conducted the defence, and while addressing the jury said: "Gentlemen, it appears to be impossible that the prisoner can have committed this crime. A mother guilty of such conduct to her own child? Why, it is repugnant to our better feelings"; and then being car- ried away by his own eloquence, he proceeded: "Gen- 49 D Digitized by Microsoft® THE JUDGES OF ENGLAND tiemen, the beasts of the field, the birds of the air, suckle their young, and " But at this point the learned judge interrupted him, ^p(J'"pa^d^■^' ; : •.• ... ..... ■ ■ ^"'']\if.''f*-j-:-^;if youesla.bU^lfthe latter part of your prQppfitioa,.550ur. client will be acquitted to a cert- amty."- . . .; : . •." . :.- :: : And to the same authority we are indebted for a judge's gentle but sarcastic reproof of a prosing coun- sel. In an action for false imprisonment, heard before Mr. Justice Wightman, Ribton was addressing the jury at great length, repeating himself constantly, and never giving the slightest sign of winding up. When he had beenpoundingawayfor several hours, the good old judge interposed, and said: "Mr. Ribton, you've said that before." — "Have I, my lord?" said Ribton; "I'm very sorry. I quite forgot it." — "Don't apologise, Mr. Ribton," was the answer. "I forgive you; for it was a very long time ago." A very old story is told of a highwayman who sent for a solicitor and inquired what steps were necessary to be taken to have his trial deferred. The solicitor answered that he would require to get a doctor's affid- avit of his illness. This was accordingly done in the following manner: "The deponent verily believes that if the said is obliged to take his trial at the en- suing sessions, he will be in imminent danger of his SO Digitized by Microsoft® LORD COLERIDGE life." — "I verily believe so too," replied the judge, and the trial proceeded immediately. Some judges profess ignorance of slang terms used in evidence, and seek explanation from counsel. Lord Coleridge in the following story had his inquiry not only answered but illustrated. A witness was describ- ing an animated conversation between the pursuer and defendant in a case and said: "Then the defendant turned and said, 'If 'e didn't 'owld 'is noise 'ed knock 'im off 'is peark.' " — "Peark? Mr. Shee, what is meant by peark?" asked the Lord Chief Justice. "Oh, peark, my lord, is any position when a man elevates himself above his fellows — for instance, a bench, my lord." Another story illustrating this alleged ignorance of every-day terms used by the masses comes from the Scottish Court of Session. In this instance the ex- planation was volunteered by the witness who used the term. One of the counsel in the case was Mr. (now Lord) Dewar, who was cross-examining the witness on a certain incident, and drew from him the statement that he (the witness) had just had a "nip," "A nip," said the judge; "what isanip?" — "Onlyasmall Dewar, my lord," explained the witness. Lord Russell of Killowen, himself aLord Chief Jus- tice, tells some amusing stories of Lord Coleridge in his interesting reminiscences of that great judge in the SI Digitized by Microsoft® THE JUDGES OF ENGLAND North American Review. When at the Bar he was counsel in a remarkable case — Saurin against Starr. The pursuer, an Irish lady, sued the Superior of a re- ligious order at Hull for expulsion without reasonable cause. Mr. Coleridge cross-examined aMrs.Kennedy, one of the superintendents of the convent, who had mentioned in her evidence, among other peccadilloes of the pursuer, that she had been found in the pantry eating strawberries,when she should have been attend- ing some class duties. Mr. Coleridge: "Eating strawberries, really! " Mrs. Kennedy: "Yes, sir, she was eating straw- berries." Mr. Coleridge: "How shocking!" Mrs. Kennedy: "It was forbidden, sir." Mr. Coleridge: "And did you, Mrs. Kennedy, re- ally consider there was any great harm in that?" Mrs. Kennedy: "No, sir, not in itself, any more than there was harm in eating an apple; butyou know, sir, the mischief that came from that." When as Lord Chief Justice, Lord Coleridge visited the United States, he was continually pestered by in- terviewers, and one of them failing to draw him, began to disparage the old country in its physical features and its men. Lord Coleridge bore it all in good part; finally the interviewer said, "I am told, my lord, you think a great deal of your great fire of London. Well, 52 Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® SIR ALEXANDER COCKBURN, BART., LORD CHIEF JUSTICE. Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® LORD BOWEN I guess, that the conflagration we had in the little vill- age of Chicago made your great fire look very small." To which his lordship blandly responded: "Sir, I have every reason to believe that the great fire of London was quite as great as the people of that time desired." There are few of Lord Bowen's witticisms from the Bench in circulation, but his after-dinner stories are worth recording, and perhaps one of the best is that given in Anecdotes of the Bench and Bar, as told by himself in the following words: "One of the ancient rabbinical writers was engaged in compiling a history of the minor prophets, and in due course it became his duty to record the history of the prophet Daniel. In speaking of the most striking incident in the great man's career — I refer to his critical position in the den of lions — he made a remark which has always seemed to me replete with judgment and observation. He said that the prophet, notwithstanding the trying circum- stances in which he was placed, had one consolation which has sometimes been forgotten. He had the con- solation of knowing that when the dreadful banquet was over, at any rate it was not he who would be call- ed upon to return thanks." The following story cannot be classed a witticism from the Bench, but the judge clearlygave the opening for the lady's smart retort. S3 Digitized by Microsoft® THE JUDGES OF ENGLAND Mrs, Weldon, a well-known lady litigant in the Courts a generation ago, was on one occasion endeav- ouring in the Court of Appeal to upset a judgment of Vice-Chancellor Bacon, and one ground of complaint was that the ju(^ge was too old to understand her case. Thereupon Lord Esher said: "The last time you were here you complained that your case had been tried by my brother Bowen, and you said he was only a bit of a boy, and could not do you j ustice. Now you come here and say that my brother Bacon was too old. What age do you want the judge to be?" — "Your age," promptly replied Mrs. Weldon, fixing her bright eyes on the handsome countenance of the Master of the Rolls. On Charles Phillips, who became a judge of the In- solvent Court, noticing a witness kiss his thumb in- stead of the Testament, after rebuking him said, "You may think to desave God, sir, but you won't desave me." That racy and turf-attending j udge. Lord Brampton, better known as Sir Henry Hawkins, tells many good stories of himself in his Reminiscences, but it is the unconscious humorist ofMarylebone Police Court who records this bon mot of Sir Henry. An old woman in the witness-box had been rattling on in the most voluble manner, until it was impossible to make head or tail of her evidence. Mr. Justice Haw- 54 Digitized by Microsoft® SIR HENRY HAWKINS kins, thinking he would try his hand, began with a soothing question, but the old woman would not have it at any price. She replied testily, "It's no use you bothering me. Ihave told you all I know. "—"That may be," replied his lordship, "but the question rather is, do you know all you have told us?" When Sir Henry(then Mr.) Hawkins was prosecut- ing counsel in the Tichborne trial, over which Lord Chief Justice Cockburn presided, an amusing incident is recorded by Mr. Plowden. The antecedents of a man who had given sensational evidence for the claimant were being inquired into, and in answer to Sir Henry the witness under examination said he knew the man to be married, but his wife passed under another name. "What name?"asked Mr. Hawkins. "Mrs. Hawkins," replied the witness. "What was her maiden name?" added Mr.Hawkins. "Cockburn." Such a coincident of names naturallycaused hearty and prolonged laughter. In the course of this celebrated trial another amus- ing incident occurred which Sir Henry used to tell against himself. One morning as the claimant came into Court, a lady dressed in deep mourning presented Ortonwith atract. After a few minutes hewrote some- thing on it, and had it passed on to the prosecuting counsel. The tract was boldly headed in black type, "Sinner — Repent," and the claimant had written up- on it, "Surely this must have beenmeant for Hawkins." SS Digitized by Microsoft® THE JUDGES OF ENGLAND Not long after he had ascended the Bench Mr. Jus- tice Hawkins was hearing a case in which a man was being tried for murder. The counsel for the prosec- ution observed the prisoner saysomething earnestlyto the policeman seated by his side in the dock,and asked that the constable should be made to disclose what had passed. "Yes," said his lordship, "I think you may de- mand that. Constable, inform the Court what passed between you and the prisoner." — "I — I would rather not, your lordship. I was — ." — "Never mind what you would rather not do. Inform the Court what the pris- oner said." — "He asked me, your lordship, who that hoary heathen with the sheepskin was, as he had often seen him at the race-course." — "That wrll do," said his lordship. "Proceed with the case." An action for damages against a fire insurance com- pany, brought by some Jews, was heard before Chief Justice Cockburn, which clearly was a fraudulent claim. The plaintiffs claimed for loss of ready-made clothes' in the fire. Hawkins, who appeared for the defend- ant company,elicited the fact that ready-made clothes in this firm had all brass buttons as a rule; and, further, that after sifting the debris of the fire no buttons had been found. The trial was not concluded on that day, but on the following morning hundreds of buttons partially burnt were brought into Court by the Jew plaintiffs. Cockburn was not long in appreciating this 56 Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® SIR HENRY HAWKINS, LORD BRAMPTON, Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® SIR HENRY HAWKINS mode of furnishing evidence after its necessity had been pointed out, and he asked: "How do you account for these buttons, Mr. Hawkins? You said none were found." — "Up to last night none had been found," re- plied Hawkins. "But," said the Chief Justice — "but these buttons have evidently been burnt in the fire. How do they come here?" — "On their own shanks," was Hawkins' smart and ready reply. Verdict for de- fendants. The alibi has come in for its fair share of jests. Sir Henry Hawkins relates in his Reminiscences how he once found the following in his brief: " If the case is called on before 3.15, the defence is left to the ingenu- ity of the counsel; if after that hour, the defence is an alibi, as by then the usual alibi witnesses will have re- turned from Norwich, where they are at present pro- fessionally engaged." Sitting as a vacation judge. Sir Walter Phillimore, whose views on the law of divorce are well known, protested against being called on to make absolute a number of decrees ««j«'grantedintheDivorce Division. Thisfact is said to have called forth a wittypronounce- ment by a late president of that Division of the Courts. "Here is my brother Phillimore, who objects to making decrees «2J2 absolute because he believes in the sanct- ity of the marriage tie. By and by we may be having a Unitarian appointed to the Beng^, and he will refuse 57 Digitized by Microsoft® THE JUDGES OF ENGLAND to try Admiralty suits, as he would have to sit with Trinity Masters." In sentencing a burglar recently, the judge referred to him as a "professional," to which the prisoner strongly protested from the dock. "Here," he exclaim- ed, "I dunno wot you mean by callin' me a profession- al burglar. I've only done it once before, an' I've been nabbed both times." The judge, in the most suave manner, replied, "Oh, I did not mean to say that you had been very successful in your profession." Mr. Justice Grantham had a keen sense of humour. On one occasion, when he was judge at the Newcastle Assizes, he left the mansion-house where he was stay- ing, at night, to post his letters. As he was wearing a cap he was not recognised by the police officer who was on duty outside, and the constable inquired of his lordship if "the old had gone to bed yet." The judge replied that he thought not, and a short while after he had returned to the house he raised his bed- room window, and putting out his head called to the constable below: "Officer, the old is just going to bed now." Hardlya case of any importance comes into Mr. Jus- tice Darling's Court without attracting a large attend- ance of the public, as much from expectation of being entertained by the repartees between Bench and Bar 58 Digitized by Microsoft® MR. JUSTICE DARLING as from interest in the proceedings before the Court. In a recent turf libel case his lordship gave a free rein to his proclivity to give an amusing turn to statements of both counsel and witnesses. At one point he inter- vened by remarking that other witnesses than the one under examination had said that a horse is made fit by running on the course before he is expected to win a position, and added, "That is so, not only on the race- course. You can never make a good lawyer by putting him to read in the library." To which the defendant, who conducted his own case, replied, "But I take it a barrister does try." — "Youhave no notion howhetries the judge," responded Mr. Justice Darling. Inthesame case a question arose as to whether the stewards of theJockeyClub had the power tocheckriding"short," as it is termed, and the Justice inquiredif the stewards could say,"You mustridewitha leatherof a prescribed length," and got the answer, "Yes; they could say if yoii don't ride longer we won't give you a license." — "Which means," said the judge, "if you don't ride longer you won't ride long." "Who made the translation from the German?" asked the same judge, regarding a document to which counsel had referred. "God knows; I don't," was the reply of Mr. Danckwerts. "Are you sure," responded the Justice, "that what is not known to you is known at all?" 59 Digitized by Microsoft® THE JUDGES OF ENGLAND Perhaps Mr. Justice Darling never raised heartier laughter than in an action some years ago where the issue was whether the plaintiff, who had been engaged by the defendant to sing in "potted opera" at a music- hall, was competent to fulfil his contract. "Well, he could not sing like the archangel Gabri- el," a witness had said, in reply to Mr. Duke, K.C. "I have never heard the archangel Gabriel," com- mented the eminent counsel. "That, Mr. Duke, is a pleasure to come," was his lordship's swift, if gently sarcastic, rejoinder. If witnesses occasionally undergo severe handling in cross-examination by counsel, there are also occa- sions when their ready reply has rather nonplussed the judge. A case was being tried at York before Mr. Justice Gould. When it had proceeded for tipwards of two hours the judge observed that there were only eleven jurymen in the box, and inquired where the twelfth man was. "Please you, my lord," said one of them, "he has gone away about some business, but he has left his verdict with me." "How old are you? " asked the judge of a lady wit- ness. "Thirty." — "Thirty!" said the judge; "I have heard you give the same age in this Court for the last three years." — "Yes," responded the lady; "I am not 60 Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® THE HON. MR JUSTICE DARLING, JUDGE OF THE KING'S BENCH DIVISION. Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® MR. JUSTICE KEATING one of those persons who say one thing to-day and an- other to-morrow." Mr. Justice Keating one day had occasion to exam- ine a witness who stuttered very much in giving his evidence. "I believe," saidhis lordship, "you are a very great rogue." — "Not so great a rogue as you, my lord — t — t — t — t — take me to be," was the reply. Judge: "Is this your signature?" Witness: "I don't know." Judge: "Look at it carefully." Witness: "I can't say for certain." Judge: "Is it anything like your writing?" Witness: "I don't think it is." Judge: "Can't you identify it?" Witness: "Not quite." Judge: "Well, let me see, just write your name here and I will examine the two signatures." Witness: "I can't write, sir." Medical men are not as a rule the best witnesses, be- ing too fond of using technical words peculiar to them in their own profession. In an action for assault tried by a Derbyshire common jury before Mr. Justice Pat- teson, a surgical witness was asked to describe the in- juries the plaintiff had received; he stated he had "ec- chymosis" of the left eye. Upon the judge inquiring whether that did not mean what was commonly under- stood by a black eye, the witness answered: "Yes." — 6i Digitized by Microsoft® THE JUDGES OF ENGLAND "Then why did you not say so, sir? What do the jury know of 'ecchymosis'? They might think, as the farm- er did of the word 'felicity,' used by a clergyman in his sermon, that it meant somethingin the insideof a pig." A notorious thief, being tried for his life, confessed the robbery hewas charged with. The judge thereupon directed the jury to find him guilty upon his own con- fession. The jury having consulted together brought him in "Not guilty." The judge bade them consider their verdict again, but still they brought in a verdict of "Not guilty." The judge asking the reason, the fore- man replied: "There is reason enough, for we all know him to be one of the greatest liars in the counti^y." "Have you committed all these crimes?" asked the ^ judge of a hoaryold sinner. "Yes,my lord, and worse." "Worse, I should have thought it impossible. What have you done then?" — "My lord, I allowed myself to be caught." "I knows yer," said a prisoner to the present Lord Chief Justice, "and many's the time I've given yer a hand when ye've been stepping it round the track like a greyhound. So let's down lightly, like a good cove as yer are." The retort of a witness to Lord Avory was too good to be soon forgotten, and is still circulating among the juniors of the law-courts. "Let me see,"said his lord- 62 Digitized by Microsoft® LORD AVORY ship, "you have been convicted before, haven't you?" — "Yes, sir," answered the man; "but it was due to the incapacity of my counsel rather than to any fault on my part." — "It always is," said Lord Avory, with a grim smile, "and you have my sincere sympathy." — "And I deserve it,"retorted the man, "seeing that you were my counsel on that occasion!" ^ Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® S.IR SAMUEL MARTIN, BARON OF EXCHEQUER. Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® CHAPTER TWO THE BARRISTERS OF ENGLAND Digitized by Microsoft® " Hark the hour of ten is sounding! Hearts with anxious fears are bounding; Hall of Justice crowds surrounding, Breathing hope and fear. For to-day in this arena Summoned by a stern subpoena, Edwin sued by Angelina Shortly will appear." Sir W. S. Gilbert: Trial by Jury. " As your Solicitor, I should have no hesitation in saying : Chance it " Sir W. S. Gilbert : The Mikado. Digitized by Microsoft® CHAPTER TWO THE BARRISTERS OF ENGLAND FROM THE MIDDLE OF THE THIRTEENTH century the senior rank to which a barrister could at- tain at the Bar was that of serjeant-at-law, and from that body, which existed until 1875, the judges were selected. If a barrister below the rank of serjeant was invited to take a seat on the Bench he invariably con- formed to the recognised custom and "took the coif" — became a serjeant-at-law — before he was sworn as one of his (or her) Majesty's judges. This explains the term "brother" applied by judges when address- ing Serjeants pleading before them in Court. "Taking the coif" had a curious origin. It was customary in very early times for the clergy to add to their clerical duties that of a legal practitioner, by which consider- able fees were obtained, and when the Canon law for- bade them engaging in all secular occupations the re- muneration they had obtained from the law-courts proved too strong a temptation to evade the new law. They continued therefore to practise in the Courts, and to hide their clerical identity they concealed the tons- ure by covering the upper part of their heads with a black cap or coif. When ultimately clerical barristers were driven from the law-courts, the "coif" or black patch on the crown of a barrister's wig became the symbol of the rank of serjeant-at-law. That this dis- tinguishing mark has been, in later years, occasionally 67 Digitized by Microsoft® BARRISTERS OF ENGLAND misunderstood is illustrated in the story of Serjeant Allen and Sir Henry Keating,Q.C., who were opposed to one another in a case before the Assize Court at Stafford. During the hearing of thecase a violent alter- cation had taken place between them, but when the Court rose they left the building together, walking amicably to their lodgings. Two men who had been in Court and had heard their wrangle were following be- hind them, when one said to the other: "If you was in trouble, Bill, which o' them two tip-top 'uns would you have to defend you?" — "Well, Jim," was the reply, "I should pitch upon this 'un," pointing to the Q.C. "Then you'd be a fool," said his companion; "the fel- low with the sore head is worth six of t'other 'un." There used to be a student joke against the Ser- jeants. "Why is a Serjeant's speech like a tailor's goose?" — "Because it is hot and heavy." "Taking silk," or becoming a K.C. and a senior at the Bar, originated at a much later date than that of serjeant-at-law. LordBaconwas the first tobe recogn- ised as Queen's Counsel, but this distinction arose from his position as legal adviser to Queen Eliza- beth, and did not indicate the existence of a senior body (as K.C. does now) among the barristers of that period. The institution of the rank dates from the days of Charles 1 1, when Sir Francis North, Lord Guildford, 68 Digitized by Microsoft® MR. JUSTICE EVE was created King's Counsel by a writ issued under the Great Seal. As was customary in the case of a barrister proposing to "take the coif," so in that of one proposing to "take silk";heintimatestothe seniors already holding the rank that he intends to apply for admission to the body. A story is current in the Tem- ple that when Mr. Justice Eve "took silk" the usual notification of his intention was sent to the seniors, and from one of them he received the following reply: "My dear Eve, whether you wear silk or a fig-leaf, I do not care. — A Dam." Our selection of facetiae of the English Bar, there- fore, naturally opens with stories of the serjeants-at- law, and one of the best-known members of that body in early days was Serjeant Hill, a celebrated lawyer, who was also somewhat remarkable for absence of mind, which was attributed to the earnestness with which he devoted himself to his professional duties. On the very day when he was married, he had an intricate case on hand, and forgot his engagement, until reminded of his waiting bride, and that the legal time for performing the ceremony had nearly elapsed. He then quitted lawfor the church; after the ceremony, the Serjeant returned to his books and his papers, having forgotten the cause he had been engaged in during the morning, until again reminded by his clerk 69 Digitized by Microsoft® BARRISTERS OF ENGLAND that the assembled company impatiently awaited his presence at dinner. Being once on Circuit, and having occasion to refer to a lawauthority,he had recourse, as usual, to his bag; but, to the astonishment of the Court, instead of a vol- ume of Viner's abridgment, he took out a specimen candlestick, the property of a Birmingham traveller, whose bag Serjeant Hill had brought into Court by mistake. A learned serjeant kept theCourtwaiting one morn- ing for a few minutes. The business of the Court com- menced at nine. "Brother," said the judge, "you are behind your time this morning. The Court has been waiting for you." — "I beg your lordship's pardon," replied the serjeant; "I am afraid I was longer than usual in dressing." — "Oh," returned the judge, "I can dress in five minutes at any time." — "Indeed!" said the learned brother, a little surprised for the moment; "but in that my dog Shock beats your lordship hollow, for he has nothing to do but to shake his coat, and thinks himself fit for any company." Serjeant Davy, when at theheightof hisprofessional career, oncereceived a large brief on which afee of two guineas only wasniarked on the back. His client asked him if he had read the brief. Pointing with his finger to the fee, Davy replied: "As far as that I have read, and for the life of me I can read no further." Of the 70 Digitized by Microsoft® SERJEANT MILLER same eminent serjeant in his earlier years an Old Baily story is told. Judge Gould, whopresided, asked: "Who is concerned for the prisoner?" — "I am con- cerned for him, my lord," said Davy, "and very much concerned after what I have just heard." If Serjeant Davy was concerned about his client, Serjeant Miller had no such scruple about the man charged with horse stealing whom he successfully de- fended, although the evidence convinced the judge and everybody in the Court that there ought to have been a conviction. When the trial was over and the prisoner had been acquitted, the judge said to him: "Prisoner, luckily for you, you have been found Not Guilty by the jury, but you know perfectly well you stole that horse. You may as well tell the truth, as no harm can happen to you now by a confession, for you cannot be tried again. Now tell me, did you not steal that horse?" "Well, my lord," replied the man, "I always thought I did, until I heard my counsel's speech, but now I begin to think I didn't." In the days of "riding" and "driving circuit," and even later, the Circuit mess was a very popular instit- ution with circuiteers, and was made the occasion of much merriment. After the table had been cleared a fictitious charge would be made against one of the bar- risters present, and a mock tribunal was immediately 71 Digitized by Microsoft® BARRISTERS OF ENGLAND constituted before which he was arraigned and his case duly set forth with all solemnity. The victim was in- variablyfined — generallyin wine, which had to be paid at once, and consumed before the company retired to bed. On one such occasion Serjeant Prime, who is re- presented as a good-natured but rather dull man, and as a barrister wearisome beyond comparison, was en- gaged in an important case in an over-crowded court- room. He had been speaking for three hours, when a boy, seated on a beam above the heads of the audience, overcome by the heat and the Serjeant's monotonous tones,fellasleep,and,losing his balance, tumbled down on the people below. The incident was made the sub- ject of a charge against the serjeant at the mess, and he was duly sentenced to pay a fine of two dozen of wine, which he did with the greatest good humour. Serjeant Wilkins, on one occasion, on defending a prisoner, said: "Drink has upon some an elevating, upon others a depressing, effect; indeed, there is a re- port, as we all know, that an eminent judge, when at the Bar, was obliged to resort to heavy drinking in the morning, to reduce himself to the level of the judges." Lord Denman, the judge, who had no love for Wilkins, bridled up instantly. His voice trembled with indign- ation as he uttered the words: "Where is the report, sir? Where is it? " There was a death-like silence. Wilkins calmly turned round to the judge and said: 72 Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® THE HON. MR JUSTICE GRANTHAM, JUDGE OF THE KING'S BENCH DIVISION. Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® SERJEANT THOMAS " It wasburnt, my lord, in the Temple fire." The effect of this was considerable, and it was a long time before order could be restored, but Lord Denman was one of the first to acknowledge the wit of the answer. Difference of manner or temperament sometimes gives point to the collisions which occasionally occur in Court between rival counsel. Serjeant Wilkins,who had an inflated style of oratory, was once opposed in a case to Serjeant Thomas, whose manner of delivery was lighter and more lively. On the conclusion of a heavy bombardment of ponderous Johnsonian sent- ences from the former, Thomas rose, and, with his eyes fixed on his opponent, prefaced his address to the jury with the words, delivered with much solemnity of manner and intonation: "And now the hurly-burly 's done." Dunning was defending a gentleman in an action brought from crim. con. with the plaintiff's wife. The chief witness for the plaintiff was the lady's maid, a clever, self-composed person, who spoke confidently as to seeing the defendant in bed with her mistress. Dunning, onrising to cross-examine her, first madeher take off her bonnet, that they might have a good view of her face, but this did not discompose her, as she knew she was good-looking. He then arranged his brief, solemnly drew up his shirt sleeves, and then be- 73 Digitized by Microsoft® BARRISTERS OF ENGLAND gan: "Are you sure it was not your master you saw in bed with your mistress?" — "Perfectly sure." — "What, do you pretend to say you can be certain when the head only appeared from the bedclothes, and that enveloped in a nightcap?" — "Quite certain." — "You have often found occasion, then, to see your master in his night- cap?" — "Yes — very frequently." — "Now, young woman, I ask you, on your solemn oath, does not your master occasionally go to bed with you?" — "Oh, that trial does not come on to-day, Mr. Slabberchops! " re- plied the witness. A loud shout of laughter followed, and Lord Mansfield leaned back to enjoy it, and then gravely leaned forward and asked if Mr. Dunning had any more questions to put to the witness. No answer was given, and none were put. The same counsel, when at the height of his large practice at the Bar, was asked how he got through all his work. He replied: "I do one- third of it; another third does itself; and I don't do the remaining third." A witness under severe cross-examination by Ser- jeant Dunning was repeatedly asked if he did not live close to the Court. On admitting that he did, the further question was put, "And pray, sir, for what reason did you take upyour residence in that place?" — "To avoid the rascally impertinence of dunning," came the ready answer. A barrister's name once gave a witness the opport- 74 Digitized by Microsoft® MR. CLARKE unity to score in the course of a severe cross-examin- ation. Missing was the leader of hisCircuit andwas de- fending his client charged with stealing a donkey. The prosecutor had left the donkey tied up to a gate, and when he returned it was gone. "Do you mean to say," said counsel, "the donkey was stolen from the gate?" — "I mean to say, sir," said the witness, giving the judge and then the jury a sly look, at the same time pointing to the counsel, "the ass was missing." Mr. Clarke, a leader of the Midland Circuit, was a very worthy lawyer of the old school. A client long re- fusing to agree to refer to arbitration a cause which judge, jury, and counsel wished to get rid of, he at last said to him, "You d — d infernal fool, if you do not immediately follow his lordship's recommendation, I shall be obliged to use strong language to you." Once, in a council of the Benchers of Lincoln's Inn, the same gentleman very conscientiously opposed their calling a Jew to the Bar. Some tried to point out the hardship to be imposed upon the young gentleman, who had been allowed to keep his terms, and whose prospects in life would thus be suddenly blasted. "Hardship!" said the zealous churchman, "no hardship at all! Let him become a Christian, and be d — d to him!" It is sometimes imagined by laymen that verdicts may be obtained by the trickery of counsel. Doubtless 75 Digitized by Microsoft® BARRISTERS OF ENGLAND counsel may try to throw dust in the eyes of jurors, but they are not very successful. Lord Campbell tells a story of Clarke, who by such tactics brought a case to a satisfactory compromise. The attorney, coming to him privately, said, "Sir, don't you think we have got very good terms? But you rather went beyond my in- structions." — "You fool!" retorted Clarke; "how do you suppose you could have got such terms if I had stuck to your instructions." In the biography of John Adolphus, a famous crim- inal lawyer, we are told that the judges of his timewere much impressed with the following table of degrees. "The three degrees of comparison in a lawyer's pro- gress are: getting on; getting on-er (honour); getting on-est (honest)." He declared the judges acknow- ledged much truth in the degrees. The third degree in Mr. Adolphus' table reminds us of the story of the farmer who was met by the head of a firm of solic- itors, who inquired the name of a plant the farmer was carrying. "It's a plant," replied the latter, "that will not grow in a lawyer's garden; it is called hon- esty." One night, walking through St. Giles's by way of a short cut towards home, an Irish woman came up to Mr. Adolphus. "Why, Misther Adolphus! and who'd a' thought of seeing you in the Holy Ground?" — "And how came you to know who I am?" said Adolphus. Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® JOHN ADOLPHUS, BARRISTER. Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® MR. CHAMBERS "Lord bless and save ye, sir! not know ye? Why, I'd know ye if ye was boiled up in a soup!" Mr, Montagu Chambers was counsel for a widow who had been put in a lunatic asylum, and sued the two medical men who signed the certificate of her in- sanity. The plaintiff's case was to prove that she was not addicted to drinking, and that there was no pre- tence for treating hers as a case of delirium tremens. Dr. Tunstal, the last of plaintiff's witnesses, described one case in which he had cured a patient oi delirium tremens in a single night, and he added, "It was a case of gradual drinking, sipping all day from morning till night." These words were scarcely uttered when Mr. Chambers rose in triumph, and said, "My lord, that is my case." On the Northern Circuit a century ago, there was a famous barrister who was familiarly known among his brother advocates as Jack Lee. He was engaged in examining one Mary Pritchard, of Barnsley, and be- gan his examination with, "Well, Mary, if I may credit what I hear, I may venture to address you by the name of Black Moll." — "Faith you may, mister lawyer, for I am always called so by the blackguards." On another occasion he was retained for the plaintiff in an action for breach of promise of marriage. When the consult- ation took place, he inquired whether the lady for 17 Digitized by Microsoft® BARRISTERS OF ENGLAND whose injury he was to seek redress was good-looking. "Very handsome indeed, sir," was the assurance of her attorney. "Then, sir," replied Lee, "I beg you will request her to be in Court, and in a place where she can be seen." The attorney promised compliance, and the lady, in accordance with Lee's wishes, took her seat in a conspicuous place, where the jury could see her. Lee, in addressing the jury, did not fail to in- sist with great warmth on the "abominable «ruelty" which had been exercised towards "the highly attract- ive and modest girl who trusted her cause to their discernment"; and did not sit down until he had suc- ceeded in working upon their feelings with great and, as he thought, successful effect. The counsel on the other side, however, speedily broke the spell with which Lee had enchanted the jury, by observing that "his learned friend, in describing the graces and beauty of the plaintiff, ought in common fairness not to have concealed from the jury the fact that the lady had a wooden leg!" The Court was convulsed with laughter at this discovery, while Lee, who was ignor- ant of this circumstance, looked aghast; and the jury, ashamed of the influence that mere eloquence had had upon them, returned a verdict for the defendant. Justice Willes, the son of Chief Justice Willes, had an offensive habit of interrupting counsel. On one occasion an old practitioner was so irritated by this 78 Digitized by Microsoft® MR. WHIGHAM practice that he retorted sharply by saying, "Your lordship doubtless shows greater acuteness even than your father, the Chief Justice, for he used to under- stand me after I had done, but your lordship under- stands me even before I have begun." ?*■ Of Whigham, a later leader on the Northern Circuit, an amusing story used to be told. He was defending a prisoner, and opened an alibi in his address to the jury, undertaking to prove it by calling the person who had been in bed with his client at the time in question, and deprecating their evil opinion of a woman whose moral character was clearly open to grave reproach, but who was still entitled to be believed upon her oath. Then he called "Jessie Crabtree." The name was, as usual, repeated by the crier, and there came pushing his way sturdily through the crowd a big Lancashire lad in his rough dress, who had been the prisoner's veritable bedfellow — Whigham's brief not having explained to him that the Christian name of his witness was, in this case, a male one. Colman, in his Random. Records, tells the following anecdote of the witty barrister, Mr. Jekyll. One day observing a squirrel in Colman's chambers, in the usual round cage, performing the same operation as a man in a tread-mill, and looking at it for a minute, exclaimed, "Oh! poor devil, he's going the Home Circuit." 79 Digitized by Microsoft® BARRISTERS OF ENGLAND Jekyll was asked why he no longer spoke to a law- yer named Peat; to which he replied, "I choose to give up his acquaintance — I have common of turbary, and have a right to cut peat!" An impromptu of his on a learned serjeant who was holding the Court of Common Pleas with his glittering eye, is well known: " Behold the serjeant full of fire, Long shall his hearers rue it, His purple garments came from Tyre, His arguments go to it'' Mr. H. L.Adam, in his volume The Story of Crime, tells an amusing story of a prisoner whose counsel had successfullyobtained his acquittal on a charge of brut- al assault. A policeman came across a man one night lying unconscious on the pavement, and near by him was an ordinary "bowler" hat. That was the only clue to the perpetrator of the deed. The police had their suspicions of a certain individual, whom they proceed- ed to interrogate. In addition to being unable to give a satisfactory account of his movements on the night of the assault,it was found that the "bowler" hat in ques- tion fitted him like a glove. He was accordingly ar- rested and charged with the crime, the hat being the chief evidence against him. Counsel for the defence, however, dwelt so impressively on the risk of accept- ing such evidence that the jury brought in a verdict of "not proven," and the prisoner was discharged. Be- 80 Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® SAMUEL WARREN, Q.C., MASTER IN LUNACY. Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® SERJEANT BALLANTINE fore leaving the dock he turned to the judge, and pointing to the hat in Court, said, "My lord, may I 'ave my 'at." Someamusingscenes have occurred in suits brought by tailors and dressmakers to recover the price of garments for which their customers have declined to pay on the ground of misfit. Serjeant Ballantine, in his Experiences of a Barrister, relates the case of a tailor in which the defendant was the famous Sir Edwin Landsefir. It was tried in the Exchequer Court, before Baron Martin. "The coat was produced," says the Serjeant, "and the judge suggested that Sir Edwin should try it on; he made a wry face, but consented, and took oif his own upper garment. He then put an arm into one of the sleevesof that in dispute, and made an apparently ineffectual endeavour to reach the other, following it round amidst roars of laughter from all parts of the Court. It was a common jury, and I was told that there was a tailor upon it, upon which I sug- gested that there was a gentleman of the same pro- fession as the plaintiff in Court who might assist Sir Edwin. This was acceded to, and out hopped a little Hebrew slop-seller from the Minories, to whom the defendant submitted his body. With difficulty he got into the coat, and then stood as if spitted, his back one mass of wrinkles. The tableau was truly amusing; the 8i F Digitized by Microsoft® BARRISTERS OF ENGLAND indignant plaintiff looking at the performance with mingled horror and disgust; Sir Edwin, as if he were choking; whilst the juryman, with the air of a connoiss- eur, was examining him and the coat with profound gravity. At last the judge, when able to stifle his laughter, addressing the little Hebrew, said, 'Well, Mr. Moses, what do you say?' — 'Oh,' cried he, holding up a pair of hands not over clean, and very different from those encased in lavender gloves which graced the plaintiff, 'it ish poshitively shocking, my lord; I should have been ashamed to turn olit such a thing from my establishment.' The rest of the jury accepted his view, and Sir Edwin, apparently relieved from suf- focation, entered his own coat with a look of relief, which again convulsed the Court, bowed, and de- parted." Financial prosecutions are as a rule very dreary, and any little joke perpetrated by counsel during the course of them is a relief. One was being heard, in which Mr. Muir was counsel, and to many of his state- ments the junior counsel for the prosecution shook his head vehemently, although he said nothing. This con- tinual dumb contradiction at length got on thecustom- ary patience of Mr. Muir, who blurted out: "I do not know why my friend keeps shaking his head, whether it is that he has palsy, or that there's nothing in it!" 82 Digitized by Microsoft® MR. BALDWIN Mr. Baldwin was the counsel employed to oppose a person justifying bail in the Court of King's Bench. After some common questions, a waggish counsel sit- ting near suggested that the witness should be asked as to his having been a prisoner in Gloucester gaol. Mr. Baldwin thereon boldly asked: "When, sir, were you last in Gloucester gaol?" The witness, a respect- able tradesman, with astonishment declared that he never was in a gaol in his life. Mr. Baldwin being foiled after putting the question in various ways, turn- ed round to his friendly prompter, and asked for what the man had been imprisoned. He was told that it was for suicide. Thereupon Mr. Baldwin, with great grav- ity and solemnity addressed the witness: "Now, sir, I ask you upon your oath, and remember that I shall haveyourwords taken down, were you not imprisoned in Gloucester gaol for suicide?" A young lawyer who had just "taken the coif,"once said to Samuel Warren, the author of Ten Thousand a Year: "Hah! Warren, I never could manage to get quite through that novel of yours. What did you do with Oily Gammon?"— "Oh," replied Warren, "I made a serjeant of him, ^ind of course he never was heard of afterwards." Warner Sleigh, a great thieves' counsel, was not debarred by etiquette from taking instructions dir- 83 Digitized by Microsoft® BARRISTERS OF ENGLAND ect from his clients. One day, following a rap on the door of his chambers in Middle Temple Lane, a thick- set man, with cropped poll of unmistakably Newgate cut, slunk into the room, when the following colloquy took place. "Mornin", sir," said the man, touching his forelock. "Morning," replied counsel. "What do you want?" — "Well, sir, I'm sorry to say, sir, our little Ben, sir, has 'ad a misfortin'; fust offence, sir, only a 'wipe' — " — "Well, well!" interrupted counsel. "Get on." — "So, sir, we thought as you've 'ad all the family business we'd like you to defend 'im, sir." — "All right," said counsel; "see my clerk — ." — "Yessir," continued the thief; "but I thought I'd like to make sure you'd attend yourself, sir; we're anxious, 'cos it's little Ben, our youngest kid." — "Oh! that will be all right. Give Simmons the fee." — "Well, sir," continued the man, shifting about uneasily, "I was going to arst you, sir, to take a little less. You see, sir (wheedlingly), it's little Ben — his first misfortin'." — "No, no," said the counsel impatiently. "Clear out!" — "But, sir, you've 'ad all our business. Well, sir, if you won't, you won't, so I'll pay you now, sir." And as he doled out the guineas: " I may as well tell you, sir, you wouldn't 'a' got the 'couties' if I 'adn't 'ad a little bit o' luck on the way." The gravity of the Court of Appeal was once sen- 84 Digitized by Microsoft® SERJEANT ADAMS ously disturbed by Edward BuUen reading to them the following paragraph from a pleading in an action for seduction: "The defendant denies that he is the father of the said twins, or of either of them." This he apologetically explained was due to an accident in his pupil-room, but everyone recognised the style of the master-hand. Serjeant Adams, who acted as assistant judge at the sessions, had a very pleasant wit, and knew how to deal with any counsel who took to "high-falutin." On one occasion, after an altercation with the judge, the counsel for the prisoner in his address to the jury reminded them that "they were the great palladium of British Liberty — that it was their province to deal with the facts, the/Kfl^i? with the law — that they form- ed one of the great institutions of their country, and that they came in with William the Conqueror." Adams at the end of his summing up said: "Gentle- men, you will want to retire to consider your verdict, and as it seems you came in with the Conqueror you can now go out with the beadle." There was always a mystery how Edwin James, who at the Bar was earning an income of at least ;^ 1 0,000 a year, was continually in monetary diffi- culties. Like Sir Thomas Lawrence, he must have had some private drain on his resources which was 85 Digitized by Microsoft® BARRISTERS OF ENGLAND never disclosed. Among others who suffered was the landlord of his chambers, whose rent was very much in arrear. In the end the landlord hit upon a plan to discover which would be the best method of recover- ing his rent, and one day asked James to advise him on a legal matter in which he was interested, and thereupon drew up a statement of his grievance against his own tenant. The paper was duly returned to the landlord next day with the following sentence sub- joined: "In my opinion this is a case which admits of only one remedy — patience. Edwin James." In a case before Lord Campbell, James took a line with a witness which his lordship considered quite in- admissible, and stopped him. When summing up to the jury Lord Campbell thought to soften his inter- ruption by saying: "You will have observed, gentle- men, that I felt it my duty to stop Mr. Edwin James in a certain line which he sought to adopt in the cross- examination of one of the witnesses; but at the same time I had no intention to cast any reflection on the learned counsel who I am sure is known to you all as a most able — " but before his lordship could proceed any further James interposed, and in a contemptuous voice exclaimed: "My lord, I have borne your lord- ship's censure, spare me your lordship's praise." Mr. W. G. Thorpe, F.S.A., in his entertaining vol- 86 Digitized by Microsoft® MR. W. G. THORPE ume of Middle Temple Table Talk, relates a curious story of a judge taking an extremely personal interest in a case which was brought before him. A milk com- pany had sold off a lot of old stock to a cake-maker, and the cake-maker had declined to pay because the milk had turned out to be poisonous. As the case went on the judge became more and more exercised. "What do they do with this stuff? " he asked, pointing to a mass of horrible mixture. "Oh, my lord, they make cakes of it; it doesn't taste in the cakes." — "Where do they sell these cakes?" was the judge's next question, and the reply was, "They are used for certain railway stations, school-treats, and excursions." Then the de- fendant specified one of the places. " Bless me ! " said the judge, turning an olive-green, "I had some there myself," and with a shudder he retired to his private room, returning in a few minutes wiping his mouth. There is another story of a counsel defending a woman on a charge of causing the death of her hus- band by administering a poisoned cake to him. "I'll eat some ofthe cake myself,"he said inCourt,and took a bite. Just at this moment a telegram was brought to him to say that his wife was seriously ill, and he ob- tained permission to leave in order to answer the mes- sage. He returned, finished his speech, and obtained the acquittal of his client. It transpired afterwards that the telegram business was arranged in order that 87 Digitized by Microsoft® BARRISTERS OF ENGLAND counsel could obtain an emetic after swallowing the cake. Mr. Montagu Williams tells a story, in his interest- ing Leaves of a Life, of two members of the Bar, one of whom had made a large fortune by his practice, but worked too hard to enjoy his gains, while the other, who only made a decent living, liked to enjoy life. They met on one occasion at the end of a long vacation, and the rich man asked his less fortunate brother what he had been doing. "I have been on the Continent," the other replied, "and I enjoyed my holiday very much. What have you been doing?" — "I have been work- ing," saidtherichQ.C.,"andhave not been outof town; I had lots of work to do." — "What is the use of it?" queried the other; "you can't carry the money with you when you die; and if you could, it would soon melt." From the same work we take the following story of Serjeant Ballantine. On one occasion he was acting in a case with a Jewish solicitor, and it happened that one of the hostile witnesses also belonged to the same race. Just as the serjeant was about to examine him, the solicitor whispered in Ballantine's ear: "Ask him as your first question, if he isn't a Jew." — "Why, but you're a Jew yourself," said the serjeant in some sur- prise. "Never mind, never mind," replied the little 88 Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® john romilly, baron romilly, master: of the rolls. Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® , SIR FRANK LOCKWOOD solicitor eagerly. "Please do — just to prejudice the jury." No collection of the wit and humour of the Bar would be complete without some specimens of Sir Frank Lockwood's racysayings. From Mr. Augustine Birrell's Life of Lockwoodyjo. quote the following: "A tale is attached to Lockwood's first brief. It was on a petition to the Master of the Rolls for payment out of Court of a sum of money; and Lockwood ap- peared for an official liquidator of a company whose consent had to be obtained before the Court would part with the fund. Lockwood was instructed to con- sent, and his reward was to be three guineas on the brief and one guinea for consultation. The petition came on in due course before Lord Romilly, and was made plain to him by counsel for the petitioner, and stilla littleplainer bycounselfor the principal respond- ent. "Then up rose Lockwood, an imposing figure, and indicated his appearance in the case. "'What \>Tai%%you here?' said Lord Romilly, mean- ing, I presume, 'Why need I listen to you? ' "Lockwood looking puzzled, Lord Romilly added a little testily, 'What do you come here for?' "The answer was immediate, unexpected, and, ac- companied as it was by a dramatic glance at the out- 89 Digitized by Microsoft® BARRISTERS OF ENGLAND side of his brief, as if to refresh his memory, triumph- ant, 'Three and one, my lord! ' " "The following letter is to Mrs. Atkinson: I Hare Court, Temple, E.G., London. September i8, '72. My dear Loo, — I trust it is well with yourself, John, and the childer. ... It is an off-day. We are resting on our legal oars after a prolonged and deter- mined struggle yesterday. Know! that near our nat- ive hamlet is the level of Hatfield Chase, whereon are numerous drains. Our drain (speaking from the Cor- poration of Hatfield Chase point of view) we have stopped, for our own purposes. Consequently, the ad- jacent lands have been flooded, are flooded, and will continue to be flooded. The landed gentry wish us to remove our dam, saying that if we don't they won't be worth a d — n. We answer that we don't care a d — n. This interesting case has been simmering in the law-courts since 1820. The landed gentry got a ver- dict in their favour at the last Lincoln Assizes, but find themselves little the better, as we have appealed, and our dam still reigns triumphant. Yesterday an application was made to the judge to order our dam to be removed. In the absence of Mellor, I donned my forensic armour and did battle for the Corporation. After two hours' hard fighting, we adjourned for a 90 Digitized by Microsoft® SIR FRANK LOCKWOOD week; in the meantime the floods may rise, and the winds blow. The farmers yelled with rage when they heard that the dam had got a week's respite. I rather fancy that they will yell louder on Tuesday, as I hope to win another bloodless victory. It is a pretty wanton sport, the cream of the joke being that the dam is no good to us or to anybody else, and we have no real ob- jection to urge against its removal, excepting that such a measure would be informal, and contrary to the law as laid down some hundred years ago by an old gentle- man who never heard of a steam-engine, and who would have fainted at the sight of a telegraph post. As we have the most money on our side, I trust we shall win in the end. None of this useful substance, how- ever, comes my way, as it is Mellor's work. But I hope to reap some advantage from it, both as to experience and introduction. I make no apology for troubling you with this long narration. I wish it to sink into your mind, and into that of your good husband. Let it be a warning to you and yours. And never by any chance become involved in any difficulties which will bring you into a court of law of higher jurisdiction than a police court. An occasional 'drunk and disorderly' will do you no harm, and only cost you 5 j. Beyond a little indulgence of this kind — beware! In all probab- ility I shall be in the North in a few weeks. Sessions commence next month. I will write to the Mum this 91 Digitized by Microsoft® BARRISTERS OF ENGLAND week. — With best love to all, I am, Your affectionate brother, Frank Lockwood." " Mr, Mellor vouches for the following story, which, as it illustrates Lockwood's humour and had gone the round of the newspapers, I will tell. It is the ancient custom of the new Lord Mayor of London, attended by the Recorder and Sheriffs, to come into the law-courts and be introduced to the Lord Chief Justice or, if he is not there, to the senior judge to be found on the prem- ises, and, after a little lecturefrom the Bench, to return good for evil by inviting the judges to dinner, only to receive the somewhat chilling answer, 'Some of their lordships will attend.' On this occasion the ceremony was over, and the Lord Mayor and his retinue was re- tiring from the Court, when his lordship's eye rested on Lockwood, who in a new wig was one of the throng by the door. 'Ah, my young friend!' said the Lord Mayor in a pompous way (for in those days there was no London County Council to teach Lord Mayors hum- ility); 'picking up a little law, I suppose?' Lockwood had his answer ready. With a profound bow, he re- plied: 'I shall be delighted to accept your lordship's hospitality. I think I heard your lordship name seven as the hour.' The Lord Mayor hurried out of Court, and even the policeman (and to the police Lord Mayors are almost divine) shook with laughter." 92 Digitized by Microsoft® SERJEANT PARRY Counsel sometimes find their position so weak that their only hope of damaging theother sidelies in ridic- uling their witnesses. Serjeant Parry on one occasion was defending a client against a claim for breach of promise of marriage made a few hours after a chance meeting in Regent Street. According to the lady's story the introduction had been effected through the gentleman offering to protect her from a dog. In course of cross-examination Parry said: "You say you were alarmed at two dogs fighting, madam?" — "No, no, it wasasingle dog," was the reply. "What you mean,ma- dam," retorted Parry, "is that there was only one dog; but whether it was a single dog or a married dog you are notin apositionto say." With this correction it need not be wondered that the lady had little more to say. A learned counsellor in the midst of an affecting ap- peal in Court on a slander case delivered himself of the following flight of genius. "Slander, gentlemen, like a boa constrictor of gigantic size and immeasurable pro- portions, wraps the coil of its unwieldy body about its unfortunate victim, and, heedless of the shrieks of agony that come from the utmost depths of its victim's soul, loud and reverberating as the night thunder that rolls in the heavens, it finally breaks its unlucky neck upon the iron wheel of public opinion; forcing him first to desperation, then to madness, and finally crushing him in the hideous jaws of mortal death." 93 Digitized by Microsoft® BARRISTERS OF ENGLAND Talking of his early days at the Bar, Mr, Thomas Edward Crispe, m Reminiscences of a K. C, relates how on one occasion he was opposed by a somewhat eccen- tric counsel named Wharton, known in his day as the "Poet of Pump Court." The case was really a simple one, but Wharton made so much of it that when the luncheon half-hour came the judge, Mr. Justice Archi- bald, with some emphasis, addressing Mr. Wharton, said: "We will now adjourn, and, Mr. Wharton, I hope you will take the opportunity of conferring with your friend Mr. Crispe and settling the matter out of Court." But Wharton would not agree to this, and when at last he had to address the jury, he, in the course of his speech, made the following remarks, for every word of which Mr. Crispe vouches: "Gentlemen, I think it only courteous to the learned iudge to refer to the advice his lordship gave me to settle the matter out of Court. That reminds me of a case, tried in a country court, in an action for detention of a donkey. The plaintiff was a costermonger and the defendant a costermonger; they conducted the case in person. At one o'clock the judge said: 'Now, my men, I'm going to have my lunch, and before I come back I hope you'll settle your dispute out of Court.' When he returned the plaintiff came in with a black eye and the defendant with a bleeding nose, and the defendant said: 'Well, your honour, we've taken your honour's 94 Digitized by Microsoft® MR. F. E. SMITH advice; Jim's given me a good hiding, and I've given him back his donkey.'" Mr. F. E. Smith, M.P., tells a story of a County Court case he was once engaged in, in which the plaintiff's son, a lad of eight years, was to appear as a witness. When the youngster entered the box he wore boots several sizes too large, a hat that almost hid his face, long trousers rolled up so that the baggy knees were at his ankles, and, to complete the picture, a swallow- tail coat that had to be held to keep it from sweeping the floor. This ludicrous picture was too much for the Court; but the judge, between his spasms of laughter, managed to ask the boy his reason for appearing in such garb. With wondering look the lad fished in an inner pocket and hauled the summons from it, pointing out a sentence with solemn mien as he did so: "To ap- pear in his father's suit" it read. There have been few readier men in retort than the late Mr. Francis Oswald, the author of Oswald on Contempt of Court. After a stiff breeze in a Chancery Court, the judge snapped out, "Well, I can't teach you manners,Mr. Oswald." — "Thatis so,m'lud,thatisso," replied the imperturbable one. On another occasion, an irascible judge observed, "If you say another word, 95 Digitized by Microsoft® BARRISTERS OF ENGLAND Mr. Oswald, I'll commit you." — "That raises another point — as to your lordship's power to commit counsel engaged in arguing before you," was the cool answer. TheauthorofP2>P(7j:«/(/^rinhisentertainingvolume, tells us that he was once dining with a barrister who had just taken silk. In the course of after-dinner talk, the new K.C. invited his friend to tell him what he considered was his (the K.C. 's) chief fault in style. After some considerable hesitation his friend admitted that he thought the K.C. erred occasionally in being too long. This apparently somewhat annoyed the K.C, and his friend feeling he had perhaps spoken too freely, thought he would smooth matters by inviting similar criticism of himself from the K.C, who at once replied, "My dear boy, I don't think really you have any fault. Except, you know, you are so d — d offensive." A judge and a facetious lawyer conversing on the subject of the transmigration of souls, the judge said, "If you and I were turned into a horse and an ass, which of them would you prefer to be?" — "The ass, to be sure," replied the lawyer. — "Why?" — "Because," replied the lawyer, " I have heard of an ass being a judge, but of a horse, never." In some cases counsel receive answers to questions which they had no business to put, and these, if not quite to their liking, are what they justly deserve. The 96 Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® SERJEANT TALFOURD. Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® UNEXPECTED ANSWERS following stofy of George Clarke, a celebrated negro minstrel, is a case in point. On one occasion, when beingexaminedas a witness, he was severely interrog- ated by a lawyer. "You are in the minstrel businesSj I believe?" inquired the lawyer. "Yes, sir," was the reply. "Is not that rather a low calling?" — "I don't know but what it is, sir," replied the minstrel; "but it is so much better than my father's that I am rather proud of it." The lawyer fell into the trap. "What was your father's calling?" he inquired. "He was a lawyer," replied Clarke, in a tone that sent the whole Court into a roar of laughter as the discomfited lawyer sat down. At the Durham Assizes an action was tried which turned out to have been brought by one neighbour against another for a trifling matter. The plaintiff was a deaf old lady, and after a pause the judge suggested that the counsel should get his client to compromise it, and to ask her what she would take to settle it. Very loudly counsel shouted out to his client: "His lord- ship wants to know what you will take?" She at once replied: "I thank his lordship kindly, and if it's no ill convenience to him, I'll take a little warm ale." A tailor sent his bill to a lawyer, and a message to askforpayment. The lawyer bid the messenger tell his master that he was not running away, and was very busy at the time. The messenger returned and said 97 G Digitized by Microsoft® BARRISTERS OF ENGLAND he must have the money. The lawyer testily answered, "Did you tell your master that I was not running away?" — "Yes, I did, sir; but he bade me tell you that he was!' A well-known barrister at the criminal Bar, who prided himself upon his skill in cross-examining a wit- ness, had an odd-looking witness upon whom to oper- ate. "You say, sir, that the prisoner is a thief?" — "Yes, sir — 'cause why, she confessed it." — "And you also swear she did some repairs for you subsequent to the confession?" — "I do, sir." — "Then,"givinga knowing look at the Court, "we are to understand that you em- ploy dishonest people to work for you, even after their rascalities are known?" — "Of course! How else could I get assistance from a lawyer?" — "Stand down!" shouted the man of law. At Worcester Assizes, a cause was tried as to the soundness of a horse, and a clergyman had been a wit- ness, who gave a very confused account of the trans- action, and the matters he spoke to. A blustering counsel on the other side, after many attempts to get at the facts, said: "Pray, sir, do you know the differ- ence between a horse and a cow?" — "I acknowledge my ignorance," replied the clergyman. "I hardly know the difference between a horse and a cow, or between a , bully and a bull. Only a bull, I am told, has horns, and 98 Digitized by Microsoft® EXPERT WITNESS a bully," bowing respectfully to the counsel, ^'luckily for me, has none!' "In Court one day," says Mr. W. Andrews in The Lawyer, "I heard the following sharp encounter be- tween a witness and an exceedingly irascible old- fashioned solicitor who, among other things, hated the modern custom of growing a beard or moustache. He himself grew side- whiskers in the most approved style of half a century ago. "Speak up, witness," he shouted, "and don't stand mumbling there. If you would shave off that unsightly moustache we might be better able to hear what was coming out of your lips." "And if you, sir," said the witness quietly, "would shave off those side-whiskers you would enable my words to reach your ears." "My friend," said an irritable lawyer, "you are an ass." — "Do you mean, sir," asked the witness, "that I am your friend because I am an ass, or an ass because I am your friend?" Counsel sometimes comes to grief in dealing with experts. " Do you," asked oneof a scientist, " know of a substance called SulphonylicDiazotised Sesqui Oxide of Aldehyde?" and he looked round triumphantly. "Certainly," came the reply. "It is analogous in dia- tomic composition of Para Sulpho Benzine Azode Methyl Aniline in conjunction with Phehekato- 99 Digitized by Microsoft® BARRISTERS OF ENGLAND line." Counsel said he would pursue the matter no further. An action was brought by the owner of a donkey which was forced against a wall by a waggon and killed. The driver of the donkey was the chief witness, and was much buUied by Mr. Raine, the defendant's counsel, so that he lost his head and was reprimanded by the judge for not giving direct answers, and look- ing the jury in the face. Mr. Raine had a powerful cast in his eyfe, which probably heightened the poor fellow's confusion; and he continued to deal very sev- erely with the witness, reminding him again and again of the judge's caution, saying: "Hold up your head, man: look up, I say. Can't you hold up your head, fellow? Can't you look as I do?" The witness, with much simplicity, at once answered, "I can't, you squint." On re-examination, Serjeant Cockle for the plaintiff, seeing gleams of the witness's recovery from his confusion, asked him to describe the position of the waggon and the donkey. After much pressing, at last he said, "Well, my lord judge, I'll tell you as how it happened." Turning to Cockle, he said, "You'll suppose ye are the wall." — "Aye, aye, just so, go on. I am the wall, very good." — "Yes, sir, you are the wall." Then changing his position a little, he said, "I am the waggon." — "Yes, very good; now proceed, you are the waggon," said the judge. The witness then 100 Digitized by Microsoft® SERJEANT COCKLE looked to the judge, and hesitating at first, but with a low bow and a look of sudden despair, said, "And your lordship's the ass!" Serjeant Cockle, who had a rough, blustering man- ner, once got from a witness more than he gave. In a trial of a right of fishery, he asked the witness: "Dost thou love fish?" — "Aye," replied the witness, with a grin, "but I donna like cockle sauce with it." The learned serjeant was not pleased with the roar of laughter which followed the remark. Mr. H. L. Adam in The Story of Crime says he re- members a very amusing incident in one of our police courts. A prisoner had engaged a solicitor to defend him, and while the latter was speaking on his behalf he suddenly broke in with, "Why, he dunno wot the devil he's talking abaht! " Thereupon the magistrate informed him that if he was dissatisfied with his ad- vocate's capabilities, he could, if he chose, defend him- self. This he elected to do, and in the end was acquit- ted, the magistrate remarking that had the case been left to counsel he would unquestionably have been convicted. In cross-examining a witness, says Judge Parry in What the Judge Saw, who had described the effects of an accident, was confronted by counsel with his statement, and asked, "But hadn't you told the doctor lOI Digitized by Microsoft® BARRISTERS OF ENGLAND that your thigh was numb and had no feeling?" — "What's the good o' telling him anything," replied the witness. "That's where doctor made a mistake. I told 'im I was numb i' front, and what does he do but go and stick a pin into my back-side. 'E's no doctor." From the same source is the following story. An- other man was testifying to an accident that had oc- curred to him at the works where he was employed. It was sought to prove that his testimony was false because he had a holiday that day, and this poser was put to him: "Do you mean to tell the Court that you came to work when you might have been enjoying a holiday?"— "Certainly."— "Why did you do that?" The reply was too obviously truthful. "What should I do? I have nowhere to go. I'm teetotal now." A Jew had been condemned to be hanged, and was brought to the gallows along with a fellow prisoner; but on the road, before reaching the place of execution, a reprieve arrived for the Jew. When informed of this, it was expected that he would instantly leave the cart in which he was conveyed, but he remained and saw his fellow prisoner hanged. Being asked why he did not at once go about his business, he said, "He was waiting to see if he could bargain with Mr. Ketch for the other gentleman' s clothes'" A sign-painter presented his bill to a lawyer for pay- 102 Digitized by Microsoft® WRIT OF EJECTMENT ment. After examining it the lawyer said, "Doyou ex- pect any painter will go to heaven if they make such charges as these? " — "I never heard of but one that went," said the painter, "and he behaved so badly that they determined to turn him out, but there being no lawyer present to draw up the Writ of Ejectment, he remained." This must be the lawyer who, being refused en- trance to heaven by St. Peter, contrived to throw his hat inside the door; and then, being permitted to go and fetch it, took advantage of the Saint being fixed to his post as doorkeeper and refused to come back again. A solicitor who was known to occasionally exceed the limit at lunch betrayed so much unsteadiness that the magistrate quickly observed, "I think, Mr. , you are not quite well, perhaps you had a little too much wine at lunch." — "Quite a mistake, your wor- ship," hiccoughed Mr. . "It was brandy and water." The son-in-law of a Chancery barrister having suc- ceeded to the lucrative practice of the latter, came one morning in breathless haste to inform him that he had succeeded in bringing nearly to its termination a cause which had been pending in the Court forseveral years. Instead of obtaining the expected congratulations of the retired veteran of the law, his intelligence was re- ceived with indignation. "It was by this suit," ex- 103 Digitized by Microsoft® BARRISTERS OF ENGLAND claimed he, "that my fatherwas enabled to provide for me, and to portion your wife, and with the exercise of common prudence it would have furnished you with the means of providing handsomely for your children and grandchildren." Digitized by Microsoft® CHAPTER THREE THE JUDGES GF IRELAND Digitized by Microsoft® " So slow is justice in its ways Beset by more than customary clogs. Going to law in these expensive days Is much the same as going to the dogs." Willock: Legal Facetia. Digitized by Microsoft® CHAPTER THREE THE JUDGES OF IRELAND IN THE DAYS OF QUEEN ANNE CORRUP- tion was rife among Irish judges, as it was also among members of the Scottish Bench at an earlier period, and itwas not uncommon tofind theformer concurring in Privy Council reports issued contrary to evidence. Within the area of the Munster Circuit in the early years of the eighteenth century a petition was signed and presented to Parliament by clergy, resident gent- ry, and others in the district, because Lord Chancellor Phipps refused to be influenced in his decision of cases coming before him, and had thereby incurred the dis- pleasure of a certain section of the Irish Parliament. Even a Lord Chief Justice was not above taking a gift; and in this connection O'Flanagan in The Munster Circuit tells a story of Chief Justice Pyne, who was a great cattle-breeder and owner of valuable stock. One day before starting for Cork Assizes to try a case in which a Mr. Weller and a Mr. Nangle were concerned, he received a visit from the former's steward, who had been sent with a herd of twenty-five splendid heifers for his lordship. The judge was highly pleased, and re- turned by the steward a gracious message of thanks to his master. On the way to Cork the Chief Justice's coach was stopped by a drove of valuable shorthorns on the road. Looking out, his lordship demanded of the drover, "Whose beasts are these, my man?" — "They 107 Digitized by Microsoft® THE JUDGES OF IRELAND belong, please your honour, to a great gentleman of these parts. Judge Pyne, your honour," replied the man. " Indeed," cried the Chief Justice in much sur- prise, "and where are you taking them now?" — "They are grazing in my master Mr.Nangle's farm, your hon- our; and as the Assizes are coming on at Cork my master thought the judge might like to see that he took good care of them, so I'm taking them to Waterpark (hislordship's estate) to showto the judge." The judge felt the delicacy of Mr. Nangle's mode of giving his present, and putting a guinea in the drover's hand said, "As your master has taken such good care of my cattle, I will take care of him." When the case came on it appeared at first that the judge favoured the plaintiff, Mr. Weller, but as it proceeded he changed his views and finally decided for the defendant, Mr. Nangle. On arriving home the judge's first question was, "Are the cattle all safe?" — "Perfectly, my lord." — "Where are the beasts I received on leaving for the Cork Assizes?" — "They are where you left them, my lord." — "Where I left them — that is impossible," ex- claimed the judge. "I left them on the road." The stew- ard looked puzzled. "I'll have a look at them myself," said Chief Justice Pyne. The steward led the way, and pointed out the twenty-five fine heifers presented by Mr. Weller, the plaintiff. "But where are the short- horns that came after I left home?" — "Bedad, the io8 Digitized by Microsoft® CHIEF JUSTICE PYNE long and the short of it is, them's all the cattle on the land, except what we have bred ourselves, my lord." And so it was. Mr. Nangle, the defendant, had so ar- ranged his gift to meet the judge on the road, but as soon as his lordship's coach was out of sight the cattle were driven back to their familiar fields. The Chief Justice had been outwitted and had no power of show- ing resentment. In the manners and customs of the legal profession of Ireland in the latter part of the eighteenth century, there is also a strong similarity between the members of the Scottish Bench and their Irish brethren, in that they were heavy port drinkers; and did not hesitate to indulge in it while sitting on the Bench. It is re- ported of one Irish judge that he had a specially con- structed metal tube like a penholder, through which he sucked his favourite liquor, from what appeared to the audience to be a metal inkstand. Another judge on being asked if, at a social gathering, he had seen a learned brother dance, "Yes," he replied, "I saw him in a reel"; whileCurran referring to a third judge, who had condemned a prisoner to death, said, "He did not weep, but he had a drop in his eye." Unblushing efiirontery and a bronzed visage gained for John Scott(Lord Clonmel)while at the Bar the sob- riquet of "Copper-faced Jack." He took the popular 109 Digitized by Microsoft® THE JUDGES OF IRELAND side in politics, which ordinarily would not have led to promotion in his profession; but his outstanding abil- ity attracted the attention of Lord Chancellor LifFord, and through his influence Scott was offered a place under the Government. On accepting it at the hands of LordTownshend, he said, "My lord,you have spoil- ed a good patriot." Some time after he met Flood, a co-patriot, and addressed him: "Well, I suppose you will be abusing me as usual." To which Flood replied: "When I began to abuse you, you were a briefless bar- rister; by abuse I made you counsel to the revenue, by abuse I got you a silk gown, by abuse I made you Solicitor-General, by abuse I may make you Chief Jus- tice. No, Scott, I'll praise you." When Lord Clonmel was Lord Chief Justice he up- held the undignified practice of demanding a shilling for administering an oath, and used to be well satis- fied, provided the coin was 2^ good one. In his time the Birmingham shilling was current, and he used the fol- lowing extraordinary precautions to avoid being im- posed upon by taking a bad one. "You shall true an- swer make to such questions as shall be demanded of you touching this affidavit, so help you God! Is this a good shilling? Are the contents of this affidavit true? Is this your name and handwriting?" The family of Henn belonging to Clare have been, no Digitized by Microsoft® JUDGE HENN generation after generation, since the first of the name became Chief Baron in 1679, connected with the Irish Bench and Bar. Willian Henn, a descendant of the Chief Baron, was made a Judge of the King's Bench in 1767, and when on Circuit at Wexford in 1789 two young barristers contended before him with great zeal and pertinacity, each flatly contradicting the other as to the law of the case; and both at each turn of the argument again and again referred with exemplary confidence to the learned judge, as so well knowing that what was said by him (the speaker) was right. The judge said, "Well, gentlemen, can I settle this matter between you? You, sir, say positively the law is one way; and you, sir (turning to the opponent), as unequivocally say it is the other way. I wish to God, Billy Harris (leaning over and addressing the regis- trar who sat beneath him), I knew what the law really was!" — "My lord," replied Billy Harris, rising, and turning round with great gravity and respect, "if I possessed that knowledge, I assure your lordship that I would tell your lordship with great pleasure!" — "Then," exclaimed .the judge, "we'll save the point, Billy Harris!" Although more appropriate in the following chapter, we may here introduce a story of the younger son of the Judge Henn of the previous story. Jonathan, who was more distinguished than his elder brother — an- III Digitized by Microsoft® THE JUDGES OF IRELAND otherJudgeHenn — did not attain to theBench. In early years he was indifferent whether briefs were given him or not, and indeed on one occasion he is said to have sent a message to the Attorney-General, who had called to engage him in a case, to keep "his d — d brief and to take himself to the d — 1." But later he became very industrious, and his natural ability soon brought him into alarge and lucrative practice. Hewas counsel for the Government at the trial of John Mitchell, and at its close the wags of the Court declared that "Judge Moore spoke to the evidence, but Jonathan Henn charged the jury." Chief Justice Carleton was a most lugubrious judge, andwas alwayscomplaining of something orother,but chiefly about the state of his health, so that Curran re- marked that it was strange the old judge Yizsplaintive in every case tried before him. One day his lordship came into Court very late, looking very woeful. He apologised to the Bar for be- ing obliged to adjourn the Court at once and dismiss the jury for that day. "Though," his lordship added, "I am aware that an important issue stands for trial. But, the fact is, gentlemen (addressing the Bar in a low tone of voice and somewhat confidentially),! have met with a domestic misfortune, which has altogether deranged my nerves. Poor Lady Carleton has, most 112 Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® HUGH CARLETON, VISCOUNT CARLETON, LORD CHIEF JUSTICE OF IRELAND. Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® JUDGE FOSTER unfortunately, miscarried, and — ." "Oh, then, my lord," exclaimed Curran, "I am sure we are all quite satisfied your lordship has done right in deciding there is no issue to try to-day." His lordship smiled a ghastly smile, and, retiring, thanked the Bar for their sympathy. Judge Foster was trying five prisoners for murder, and misunderstood the drift of the evidence. Four of the prisoners seem to have assisted, but a witness said as to the fifth, Denis Halligan, that it was he who gave the fatal blow: "My lord, I saw Denis Halli- gan (that's in the dock there) take a vacancy (Irish word for 'aim' at an unguarded part) at the poor soul that's kilt, and give him a wipe with a clehalpin (Irish word for 'bludgeon'), and lay him down as quiet as a child." They were found guilty. The judge, sentenc- ing the first four, gave them seven years' imprison- ment. But when he came to Halligan, who really killed the deceased, the judge said, "Denis Halligan, I have purposely reserved the consideration of your case to the last. Your crime is doubtless of a grievous nature, yet I cannot avoid taking into consideration the mitigating^^ircumstances that attend it. By the evidence of the witness it clearly appears that you were the only one of the party who showed any mercy to the unfortunate deceased. You took him to a vacant 113 H Digitized by Microsoft® THE JUDGES OF IRELAND seat, and wiped him with a clean napkin, and you laid him down with the gentleness one shows to a little child. In consideration of these extenuating circum- stances, which reflect some credit upon you, I shall in- flict upon you three weeks' imprisonment." So Denis Halligan got ofFby the judge mistaking avacancy for a vacant seat, and a clehalpin for a clean napkin. John Toler (LordNorbury) was Chief Justice of the Common Pleas in Ireland. His humourwas broad, and his absolute indifference to propriety often saved the situation by converting a serious matter into a wholly ludicrous one. His Court was in constant uproar, ow- ing to his noisy jesting, and like a noted old Scottish judge he would have his joke when the life of a human being was hanging in the balance. Even, on his own deathbed he could not resist the impulse. On hearing that his friend Lord Erne was also nearing his end at the same time, he called for his valet: "James," said Lord Norbury, "run round to Lord Erne and tell him with my compliments that it will be a dead-hifA be- tween us." The best illustration of the almost daily condition of things when Lord NorbUry presided at Nisi Prius is given by himself in his reply to the answer of a wit- ness. "Whatisyour business?" asked the judge. "I keep a racquet-court, my lord." — "So do I, so do I," immediately exclaimed the judge. Nor did he reserve 114 Digitized by Microsoft® LORD NORBURY hisdonmotsforCouvt merriment. Passing the Quay on his way to the Four Courts one morning, he noticed a crowd and inquired of a bystander the cause of it. On being told that a tailor had just been rescued from at- tempted suicide by drowning, his lordship exclaimed, "What a fool to leave his koi goose for a cold duck." The boastful statement of a gentleman in his company that he had shot seventy hares before breakfast drew from the Chief Justice the sarcastic remark, "I sup- pose, sir, you fired at a wig." A son of a peer having been accused of arson, of which offence he was generally believed guilty, but ac- quitted on a point of insufficiency of evidence to sus- tain the indictment, was tried before Lord Norbury. The young gentleman met the judge next at the Lord- Lieutenant's levee in the Castle. Instead of avoiding the Chief Justice, the scion of nobility boldly said, "I have recently married, and have come here to enable me to present my bride at the Drawing-Room." — "Quite right to mind the Scripture. Better marry than burn," retorted Lord Norbury. A barrister once pressed him to non-suit the plain- tiffin a case; but his lordship decided to let it go to a jury trial. "I do believe," said the disappointed advo- cate, "your lordship has not the courage to non-suit." — "You say, sir," replied the irate judge, "you don't believe I'd have the courage to non-suit. I tell you I "5 Digitized by Microsoft® THE JUDGES OF IRELAND have courage to shoot and to non-shoot, but I'll not non-suit for you." This same counsel was oncehorse- whipped by an army officer at Nelson's Pillar in Sack- ville Street, and applied for a Criminal Information against his assailant. "Certainly he shall have it," said the witty judge, "The Court is bound to give protection to any one who has bled under the gallant Nelson." On a motion before this judge, a sheriff's officer, who had the hardihood to serve a process in Conne- mara, where the king's writ did not run, swore that the natives made him eat and swallow both copy and original. Norbury, affecting great disgust, exclaimed: "Jackson, Jackson, I hope it's not made returnable in- to this Court." While giving a judgment on a writ of right, Lord Norbury observed that it was not sufficient for a de- mandant to say he "claimed by descent." "Such an answer," he continued, "would be a shrewd one for a sweep, who got into your house by coming down the chimney; and it would be an easy, as well as a sweep- ing, way of getting in." His lordship was attacked by a fit of gout when on Circuit, and sent to the Solicitor-General requesting the loan of a pair of large slippers. "Take them," said the Solicitor to the servant, "with my respects, and I hope soon to be in his lordship's shoes." ii6 Digitized by Microsoft® CHIEF BARON O'GRADY At the instigation of O'Connell, Lord Norbury was finally removed from the Bench. A flagrant case of partiality was brought to Lord Brougham's notice which exasperated Lord Norbury, and he is reported to have said, "I'll resign to demand satisfaction. That Scottish Broom wants to be made acquainted with an Irish stick." Two notorious highwaymen were charged before Chief Baron O'Grady with robbery, and to the sur- prise of all the jury returned a verdict of not guilty, "Mr. Murphy," said the judge to the gaoler, "you will greatlyease mymind by keeping these two respectable gentlemen in custody until seven o'clock. I leave for Dublin at five, and I should like to have at least two hours' start of them." There is also the story of a barr- ister who made an eloquent speech and got his client ofij but he was very anxious to know whether the pris- oner was guilty or not. "Well, sir," said the man when applied to, "to tell the truth I thought I was guilty un- til I heard you speak, and then I didn't see how I could be." This at once recalls an old story. "Prisoner, I understand you confess your guilt," said the judge. "No, I don't," said the prisoner. "My counsel has con- vinced me of my innocence." On hearing that some spendthrift barristers, friends of his, were appointed to be Commissioners of Insolv- 117 Digitized by Microsoft® THE JUDGES OF IRELAND ent Debtors the Chief Baron remarked, "At all events, the insolvents can't complain of not being tried by their peers." It was the same judge, who caustically observed, after a long and dull legal argument: "I agree with my brother J , for the reasons given by my brother M ." A prisoner once was given a practical specimen of his lordship's wit, and must have been rather distressed by it. He was passing sentence upon a pickpocket, and ordering a punishment com- mon at that time. "You will be whipped from North Gate to South Gate," said the judge. "Bad luck to you, you old blackguard," said the prisoner. " — ^And back again," said the Chief Baron, as if he had been inter- rupted in the delivery of the sentence. A cause of much celebrity was tried at a county As- size, at which Chief Baron O'Grady presided. Bushe, then a K.C., who held a brief for the defence, was pleading the cause of his client with much eloquence, when a donkey in the courtyard outside set up a loud bray. "One at a time, brother Bushe!" called out his lordship. Peals of laughter filled the Court. The counsel bore the interruption as best he could. The judge was proceeding to sum up with his usual ability: the donkey again began to bray. "I beg your lord- ship's pardon," said Bushe, putting his hand to his ear; "but there is such an echo in the Court that I can't hear a word you say." Ii8 Digitized by Microsoft® CHIEF BARON O'GRADY In his charges to juries, O'Grady frequently made some quaint remarks. There was a Kerry case in which a number of men were indicted for riot and as- sault. Several of them bore the familiar names of O'Donoghue, Moriarty,Duggan,&c., while among the jurymen these names were also found. Well knowing that consanguinity was prevalent in the district, the judge began his address to the jury with the signific- ant remark: "Of course, gentlemen, you will acquit your own relatives." In another case of larceny of pantaloons which was clearly proved, but in which the thief got a good character for honesty, he began: "Gentlemen, the prisoner was an honest boy, but he stole the pantaloons." "I merely wish to address your lordship on the form of the indictment, if your lordship pleases," said a young barrister to the Chief Baron. "Oh, certainly, I will hear you with mighty great pleasure, sir; but I'll be afther taking the verdict of the jury first," was the sarcastic reply. The brother of Chief Baron O'Grady once caught a boy stealing turnips from one of his fields and asked his lordship if the culprit could be prosecuted under the Timber Acts. "No,"said the Chief Baron, "unless you can prove that your turnips are sticky.'' Yelverton, first Baron Avonmore, possessed re- 119 Digitized by Microsoft® THE JUDGES OF IRELAND markable rhetorical ability and a highly cultivated mind. He rose rapidly at theBar, until he became Chief Baron of Exchequer. He was the founder of the con- vivial order of St. Patrick, called "The Monks of the Screw," of which Curran, who wrote its charter song, was Prior. Avonmore was a man of warm and bene- volent feelings, which he gave vent to in an equal de- gree in private life, in the senate, and on the Bench. Before giving an anecdote of Lord Avonmore it may interest readers, especially English and Scottish, to quote here the charter song of this famous Irish con- vivial club of the eighteenth century. THE CHARTER SONG OF THE MONKS OF THE SCREW When St. Patrick this order establish'd, He called us the "Monks of the Screw"! Good rules he reveal'd to our Abbot, To guide us in what we should do. But first he replenish'd our fountain, With liquor the best in the sky; And he swore on the word of a saint That the fountain should never run dry. Each year when your octaves approach, In full chapter convened let me find you, And when to the convent you come Leave your favourite temptation behind you; And be not a glass in your convent, Unless on a festival found; 120 Digitized by Microsoft® LORD AVONMORE And this rule to enforce I ordain it, Our festival all the year round. My brethren, be chaste till you're tempted; While sober be grave and discreet; And humble your bodies with fasting, As oft as you've nothing to eat. Yet, in honour of fasting, one lean face Among you I'll always require. If the Abbot should please he may wear it — If not, let it come to the Prior. The last two lines hit off the appearance of the Ab- bot, a Mr. Doyle, and of the Prior, J. P. Curran. The formervyas abig burlyman vyith a fat, jovial face, while Curran was a short and particularly spare man whose "lean face" always attracted attention. On a Lent Circuit, one of the Assize towns happen- ed to be a place, of which one of Lord Avonmore's college contemporaries held a living: at his own re- quest, the Chief Baron's reverend friend preached the Assize sermon. The time being the month of March the weather was cold, the judge was chilled, and un- happily the sermon was long,and the preacher tedious. After the discourse was over, the preacher descended from the pulpit and approached the judge, smirking and smiling, looking fully satisfied with his own exer- tions, and expecting to receive the compliments and congratulations of his quondam chum. "Well, my 121 Digitized by Microsoft® THE JUDGES OF IRELAND lord," he asked, "and how did you like the sermon?" — "Oh ! most wonderfully," replied Avonmore , "It was like the peace of God — it passed all understanding; and — like his mercy — I thought it would have endured for ever." When Plunket was at the Bar his great friend and rival was C. K. Bushe. The former was Attorney- General at the same time as the latter was Solicitor- General, and it caused him much dissatisfaction when Plunket learned that on a change of Government Solicitor-General Bushe had not followed his example and resigned office. At the time this occurred both barristers happened to be engaged in a case at which, when it was called, Bushe only appeared. On the judge inquiring of Mr. Bushe if he knew the reason of Mr. Plunket's absence his friend jocosely remarked, "I suppose, my lord, he is Cabinet-making." This pleas- antry, at his expense, was told to Plunket by a friend, when he arrived in Court, on which, turning to the judge, the ex-Attorney-General proudlysaid, "lassure your lordship I am not so well qualified for Cabinet- making as my learned friend. I never was either a turner or d^ joiner." Two eminent Irish astronomers differed in an argu- ment on the parallax of a lyrae — the one maintaining that it was three seconds, and the other that it was 122 Digitized by Microsoft® MR. PLUNKET only two seconds. On being told of this discussion, and that the astronomers parted without arriving at an agreement, Plunket quietly remarked: "It must be a very serious quarrel indeed, when even the sec- onds cannot agree." Once applying the common expression to accom- modation bills of exchange, that they were mere kites, the judge, an English Chancellor, said "henever heard that expression applied before to any but the kites of boys." — "Oh," replied Plunket, "that's the difference between kites in England and in Ireland. In England the wind raises the kite, but in Ireland the kite raises the wind." Everybody (says Phillips) knew how acutely Plun- ket felt his forced resignation of the chancellorship, and his being superseded by Lord Campbell. A violent storm arose on the day of Campbell's expected arrival, and a friend remarking to Plunket how sick of his pro- motion the passage must have made the new Chan- cellor: "Yes," said the former, ruefully, "but it won't make him throw up the seals." Mr. Frankfort Moore, in his Journalises Notebook, relates how Justice Lawson summed up in the case of a man who was charged with stealing a pig. The evid- ence of the theft was quite conclusive, and, in fact, was not combated; but the prisoner called the priests 123 Digitized by Microsoft® THE JUDGES OF IRELAND and neighbours to attest to his good character. "Gen- tlemen of the jury," said the judge, "I think that the only conclusion you can arrive at is, that the pig was stolen by the prisoner, and that he is the most amiable man in the country." Digitized by Microsoft® CHAPTER FOUR THE BARRISTERS OF IRELAND Digitized by Microsoft® " ' Men that hire out their words and anger ' ; that are more or less passionate according as they are paid for it, and allow their client a quantity of wrath proportionable to the fee which they receive from him." Addison : The Spectator. Digitized by Microsoft® CHAPTER FOUR THE BARRISTERS OF IRELAND THE IRISH COUNSELLIKETHEOCCUPANTS of the Bench were,in earlytimes, eminent for their jolly carousing. Once,about i687,a heavy argument coming on before Lord Chancellor Fitton, Mr. Nagle, the solic- itor, retained Sir Toby Butler as counsel, who entered into a bargain that he would not drink a drop of wine while the case was at hearing. This bargain reached the ears of the Chancellor,who asked Sir Toby if it was true that such a compact had been made. The counsel said it was true, and the bargain had been rigidly kept; but onfurther inquiry he admitted that as he had only promised not to drink a drop of wine, he felt he must have some stimulant. So he got a basin, into which he poured two bottles of claret, and then got two hot rolls of bread, sopped them in the claret and ate them. "I see," replied the Chancellor; "in truth. Sir Toby, you deserve to be master of the rolls!" One naturally turns to Curran for a selection of the witty sayings of the Irish Bar, and abundantly he sup- plies them, although in these days many of his jests may be considered as in somewhat doubtful taste. Phillips tells us he remembered Curran once — in an action for breach of promise of marriage, in which he was counsel for the defendant, a young clergyman — thus appealing to the jury: "Gentlemen, I entreat you 127 Digitized by Microsoft® BARRISTERS OF IRELAND not to ruin this young man by a vindictive verdict; for though he has talents, and is in the Ch\irch,hemay riser After his college career Curran went to London to study for the Bar. His circumstances were often straitened, and at times so much so that he had to pass the day without dinner. But under such depress- ing circumstances his high spirits never forsook him. One day he was sitting in St. James's Park merrily whistlinga tunewhen agentleman passed, who,struck by the youth's melancholy appearance while, at the same time, he whistled a lively air, asked how he "came to be sitting there whistling while other people were at dinner." Curran replied, "I would have been at dinner too, but a trifling circumstance — delay in re- mittances — obliges me to dine on an Irish tune." The result was that Curran was invited to dine with the stranger, and years afterwards, when he had become famous, he recalled the incident to his entertainer — Macklin, the celebrated actor — with the assurance, "You never acted better in your life." From Phillips again we have Curran's retort upon an Irish judge, who was quite as remarkable for his good humour and raillery as for his legal researches. Curran was addressing a jury on one of the State trials in 1803 with his usual animation. The judge, whose political bias, if any judge can have one, was certainly 128 Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® JOHN P. CURRAN, MASTER OF ROLLS. Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® MR. CURRAN supposed not to be favourable to the prisoner, shook his head in doubt or denial of one of the advocate's arguments. "I see, gentlemen," said Curran, "I see the motion of his lordship's head; common observers might imagine that implied a difference of opinion, but they would be mistaken; it is merely accidental. Be- lieve me, gentlemen, if you remain here manydays,you will yourselves perceive that when his lordship shakes his head, there's nothing in it!" Curran was one day engaged in a case in which he had for a junior a remarkably tall and slender gentle- man, who had been originally intended to take orders. The judge observing that the case under discussion involved a question of ecclesiastical law, Curran inter- posed with: "I refer your lordship to a high authority behind me, who was once intended for the Church, though in my opinion he was fitter for the steeple." He was one day walking with a friend, who, hearing a person say "curosity" for "curiosity," exclaimed: "HowthatmanmurderstheEnglishlanguage!" — "Not so bad as that,"rep]ied Curran. "He has onlyknocked an 'i' out." Curran never joined the hunt, except once, not far from Dublin. His horse joined very keenly in the sport, but the horseman was inwardly hopihg all the while that the dogswould notfind. In the midst of his career, the hounds broke into a potato field oi a wealthy land- 129 I Digitized by Microsoft® BARRISTERS OF IRELAND agent, who happened to have been severely cross-ex- amined by Curran some days before. The fellow came up patronisingly and said, "Oh sure, you are Coun- sellor Curran, the great lawyer. Now then, Mr. Law- yer, can you tell me by what law you are trespassing on my ground?" — "By what law, did you ask, Mr. Maloney?" replied Curran. "It must be the Lex Tally- ho-nis, to be sure." During one of the Circuits, Curran was dining with a brother advocate at a small inn kept by a worthy woman known by the Christian name of Honoria, or, as it is generally called, Honor. The gentlemen were so pleased with their entertainment that they sum- moned Honor to receive their compliments and drink a glass of wine with them. She attended at once, and Curran after a brief eulogium on the dinner filled a glass, and handing it to the landlady proposed as a toast "Honor and Honesty," to which the lady with an arch smile added, "Our absent friends," drank off her amended toast and withdrew. He happened one day to have for his companion in a stage-coach a very vulgar and revolting old woman, who seemed to have been encrusted with a prejudice against Ireland and all its inhabitants, Curran sat chafing in silence in his corner. At last, suddenly, a number of cows, with their tails and heads in the air, kept rushing up and down the road in alarming prox- 130 Digitized by Microsoft® MR. CURRAN imity to the coach windows. The old woman manifestly wasbut ill atease. At last, unable to restrain her terror, she faltered out, "Oh dear; oh dear, sir! what can the cows mean?" — "Faith, my good woman," replied Cur- ran, "as there's an Irishman in the coach, I shouldn't wonder if they were on the outlook for a bull!" Curran was once asked what an Irish gentleman, just arrived in England, could mean by perpetually putting out his tongue. "I suppose," replied the wit, "he's trying to catch the English accent^ During the temporary separation of Lord Avon- more and Curran, Egan espoused the judge's imagin- ary quarrel so bitterly that a duel was the consequence. The parties met, and on the ground Egan complained that the disparity in their sizes gave his antagonist a manifest advantage. " I might as well fire at a razor's edge as at him," said Egan, "and he may hit me as easilyas a turf-stack." — "I'll tell you what, Mr. Egan," replied Curran; "I wish to take no advantage of you — let my size be chalked out upon your side, and I am quite content that every shot which hits outside that mark should go for nothing." And in another duel, in which his opponent was a major who had taken offence at some remark the eminent counsel had made about him in Court, the major asked Curran to fire first. "No," replied Curran, "I am here on your invit- ation, so you must open the ball" 131 Digitized by Microsoft® BARRISTERS OF IRELAND Sir Thomas Furton, who was a respectable speaker, but certainly nothing more, affected once to discuss the subjectof eloquence with Curran, assumingan equality by no means palatable to the latter. Curran happen- ing to mention, as a peculiarity of his, that he could not speak above a quarter of an hour without requir- ing something to moisten his lips. Sir Thomas, pursu- ing his comparisons, declared he had the advantage in that respect. "I spoke," said he, "the other night in the Commons for five hours on the Nabob of Oude, andnever feltintheleastthirsty." — "It is veryremark- able, indeed," replied Curran, "for everyone agrees that was the driest speech of the session." Lord Clare (says Mr. Hayward)had a favourite dog which was permitted to follow him to the Bench. One day, during an argument of Curran's, the Chancellor turned aside and began to fondle the dog, with the obvious view of intimating inattention or disregard. Thecounsel stopped; the judge looked up: "I begyour pardon," continued Curran, "I thought your lordship had been in consultation." Curran often raised a laugh at Lord Norbury's ex- pense. The laws, at that period, made capital punish- ment so general that nearly all crimes were punishable with death by the rope. It was remarked Lord Nor- bury never hesitated to condemn the convicted prison- er to the gallows. Dining in company with Curran, 132 Digitized by Microsoft® MR. CURRAN who was carving some corned beef, Lord Norbury in- quired, "Is that hung beef, Mr. Curran?" — "Not yet, my lord," was the reply; "you have not tried \t." "A doldrum, Mr. Curran! What does the witness mean by saying you put him in a doldrum?" asked Lord Avonmore. "Oh, my lord, it is a very common complaint with persons of this description; it's merely a confusion of the head arising from a corruption of the heart." Angered one day in debate, he put his hand on his heart, saying, "I am the trusty guardian of my own honour." — "Then," replied Sir Boyle Roche, "I con- gratulate my honourable friend in the snug little sine- cure to which he has appointed himself." But on one occasion he met his match in a pert, jolly, keen-eyed son of Erin, who was up as a witness in a case of dispute in the matter of a horse deal. Cur- ran was anxious to break down the credibility of this witness, and thought to do it by making the man con- tradict himself — by tangling him up in a network of adroitly framed questions — but to no avail. The ost- ler's good common sense,and his equanimity and good nature, were not to be upset. Presently, Curran, in a towering rage, thundered forth, as no other counsel would have dared to do in the presence of the Court: "Sir, you are incorrigible! The truth is not to be got from you, for it is not in you. I see the villain in your 133 Digitized by Microsoft® BARRISTERS OF IRELAND face!" — "Faith, yer honour," replied the witness, with the utmost simplicity of truth and honesty, "my face must be moighty clane and shinin* indade, if it can re- flect like that." For once in his life the great barrister was floored by a simple witness. He could not recover from that repartee, and the case went against him. When Curran heard that there was a likelihood of trouble for the part he took in 1798, and that in all probability he would be deprived of the rank of Q.C., he remarked: "They may take away the silk, but they leave the stuff \i&\i\viA." "Bully" Egan hadagreat muscular figure, as maybe guessed from the story of the duel with Curran. To his bulk he added a stentorian voice, which he freely used in Nisi Prius practice to browbeat opposing counsel and witnesses, and through which he acquired his sobriquet. On one occasion his opponent was a dark-visaged barrister who had made out a good case for his client. Egan, in the course of an eloquent ad- dress, begged the jury not to be carried away by the "dark oblivion of a brow." — "What do you mean by using such balderdash?" said a friend. "It maybe balderdash," replied Egan, "but depend upon it, it will do very well for that jury." On another occasion he concluded a vituperative address by describing the defendant as "a most naufrageous ruffian." — "What 134 Digitized by Microsoft® MR. H. D. GRADY sort of a ruffian is that?" whispered his junior, "I have noidea/'responded Egan, "but Ithink it soundsweU" H. D. Grady was a strong supporter, in the Irish Parliament, of.the Union of Great Britain and Ireland, although he represented a constituency strongly op- posed to it; and he did not conceal the fact that the Government had made it worth his while to support them. "What!" exclaimed one of his constituents who remonstrated with him; "doyou mean to sell your country?" — "Thank God," cried this patriot, "I have a country to sell." For his Court work this anti-Nationalist barrister had what he called his "jury-eye." When he wanted a jury to note a particular point he kept winking his right eye at them. Entering the Court one day looking very depressed, a sjrmpathetic friend asked if he was quite well, adding, "You are not so lively as usual." — "How can I be," replied Grady, "my jury-eye is out of order." He was examining a foreign sailor at Cork Assizes. "You are a Swede, I believe?" — "No, I am not." — "What are you then?" — "I am a Dane." Grady turn- ed to the jury, "Gentlemen, you hear the equivocating scoundrel. Go down, sir!" Judge Boyd who, accordingtoO'Connell, was guilty of sipping his wine through a peculiarly made tube 135 Digitized by Microsoft® BARRISTERS OF IRELAND from a metal inkstand, to which we have already re- ferred, one day presided at a trial where a witness was charged with being intoxicated at the time he was speaking about. Mr. Harry Grady laboured hard to show that the man had been sober. Judge Boyd at once interposed and said: "Come now, my good man, it is a very important consideration; tell the Court truly, were you drunk or were you sober upon that occasion?" — "Oh, quite sober, my Lord." Grady ad- ded, with a significant look at the inkstand, "As sober as a judge!" Mr. Bethell, a barrister at the time of the Union of Ireland and Great Britain, like many of his brethren, published a pamphlet on that much- vexed subject. Mr. Lysaght, meeting him, said: "Bethell, you never told me you had published a pamphlet on the Union. The one I saw contained some, of the best things I have ever seen in any of these publications." — "I am proud you think so," rejoined the other eagerly. "Pray what was the thing that pleased you so much?" — "Well," replied Lysaght, "as I passed a pastry-cook's shop this morning, I saw a girl come out with three hot mince- pies wrapped up in one of your productions!" "Pleasant Ned Lysaght," as his familiar friends called him, meeting a Dublin banker one day offered himself as an assistant if there was a vacancy in the 136 Digitized by Microsoft® MR. LYSAGHT lank'sstaff. "You,mydear Lysaght,"said the banker; what position could you fill?" — "Two," was there- ily. "If you made me cashier for one day, I'll become ■unner the next." And it was Lysaght who made a neat pun on his lost's name at a dinner party during the Munster Cir- :uit. The gentleman, named Flatly, was in the habit if inviting members of the Bar to his house when the !!ourt was held in Limerick. One evening theconvers- ition turned upon matrimony, and surprise was ex- )ressed that their host still remained a bachelor. He onfessed that he never had had the courage to pro- lose to ayoung lady. "Depend upon it," saidLysaght, 'if you ask any girl boldly she will not refuse you, Flatly." O'Flanagan, author of The Lord Chancellors oflre- 'and, writes of Holmes, an Irish barrister: "He made IS laugh very much one day in the Queen's Bench. '. was waiting for some case in which I was counsel, vhen the crier called, 'Pluck and Diggers,' and in came [ames Scott, Q.C., very red and heated, and, throwing lis bag on the table within the bar, he said, 'My lords, '. beg to assure your lordships I feel so exhausted I am luite unable to argue this case. I have been speaking "or three hours in the Court of Exchequer, and I am }uite tired; and pray excuse me, my lords, I must get [37 Digitized by Microsoft® BARRISTERS OF IRELAND some refreshment' The Chief Justice bowed, and said, 'Certainly, Mr. Scott.' So that gentleman left the Court. 'Mr. Holmes, you are in this case,' said the Chief Justice; 'we'll be happy to hear you.' — 'Really, my lord, I am very tired too,' said Mr. Holmes. 'Sure- ly,' said the Chief Justice, 'you have not been speak- ing for three hours in the Court of Exchequer? What has tired you?' — 'Listening to Mr. Scott,' was Hol- mes' sarcastic reply." Although rivals in their profession, C. K. Bushe had a great admiration for Plunket's abilities, and would not listen to any disparagement of them. One day while Plunket was speaking at the Bar a friend said to Bushe, "Well, if it was not for the eloquence, I'd as soon listen to ," who was a very prosy speaker. "No doubt," replied Bushe, "just as the Con- naught man said, "Pon my conscience if it was not for the malt and the hops, I'd as soon drink ditch water as porter.' " There is an impromptu of Bushe's upon two politic- al agitators of the day who had declined an appeal to arms, one on account of his wife, the other from the affection in which he held his daughter: " Two heroes of Erin, abhorrent of slaughter, Improved on the Hebrew command — One honoured his wife, and the other his daughter, That ' their ' days might be long in ' the land.' " 138 Digitized by Microsoft® "JERRY KELLER" A young barrister once tried to raise a laugh at the Mess dinner at the expense of "Jerry Keller," a bar- rister who was prominent in social circles of Dublin, and whose cousin, a wine merchant, held the contract for suppl3dng wine to the Mess cellar. "I have no- ticed," said the junior, "that the claret bottles are growing smaller and smaller at each Assizes since your cousin became our wine merchant." — "Whist!" replied Jerry; "don't you be talking of what you know nothing about. It's quite natural the bottles should be growing smaller, because we all know they shrink in the washing!' An ingenious expedient was devised to save a pris- oner charged with robbery in the Criminal Court at Dublin. The principal thing that appeared in evidence against him was a confession, alleged to have been made by him at the police office. The document, pur- porting to contain this self-criminating acknowledg- ment, was produced by the officer, and the following passage was read from it : "Mangan said he never robbed but twice Said it was Crawford." This, it will be observed, has no mark of the writer having any notion of punctuation, but the meaning at- tached to it was, that "Mangan said he never robbed but twice. Said it was Crawford." 139 Digitized by Microsoft® BARRISTERS OF IRELAND Mr. O'Gorman, the counselfor the prisoner, begged to look at the paper. He perused it, and rather aston- ished the peace officer by asserting, that so far from its proving the man's guilt, it clearly established his innocence. "This," said the learned gentleman, "is the fair and obvious reading of the sentence : "Mangan said he never robbed; But twice said it was Crawford" This interpretation had its effect on the jury, and the man was acquitted. There were two barristers at the Irish Bar who formed a singular contrast in their stature — Ninian Mahaffy was as much above the middle size as Mr. Collis was below it. When Lord Redsdale was Lord Chancellor of Ireland these two gentlemen chanced to be retained in the same cause a short time after his lordship's elevation, and before he was personally ac- quainted with the Irish Bar. Mr. Collis was opening the motion, when the Lord Chancellor observed, "Mr. Collis, when a barrister addresses the Court, he must stand." — "I am standing on the bench, my lord," said Collis. "I beg a thousand pardons," said his lordship, somewhat confused. "Sit down, Mr. Mahaffy." — "I am sitting, my lord," was the reply to the confounded Chancellor. 140 Digitized by Microsoft® MR. COLLINS A barrister who was present on this occasion made it the subject of the following epigram: " Mahaffy and Collis, ill-paired in a case, Representatives true of the rattling size ace; To the heights of the law, though I hope you will rise. You will never be judges I'm sure of a(s)size." A very able barrister, named Collins, had the reput- ation of occasionally involving his adversary in a legal net, and, by his superior subtlety, gaining his cause. On appearing in Court in a case with the eminent bar- rister, Mr. Pigot, Q.C., there arose a question as to who should be leader, Mr. Collins being the senior in stand- ing at the Bar, Mr. Pigot being one of the Queen's Counsel. "I yield," said Mr. Collins; "my friend holds the honours." — "Faith, if he does, Stephen," observed Mr. Herrick, "'tis you have all the tricks." It is told by one of O'Connell's biographers that he never prepared his addresses to judges or juries — he trusted to the inspiration of the moment. He had at command humour and pathos, invective and argument; he was quick-witted and astonishingly ready in repar- tee, and he brought all these into play, as he found them serviceable in influencing the bench or the jury-box. Lord Manners,Lord Chancellor of Ireland, stopped several of the manycounsels in aChancerysuit bysay- ing he had made up his mind. He, in fact, lost his tem- 141 Digitized by Microsoft® BARRISTERS OF IRELAND per as each in succession rose, and he declined them in turn. At last 0'ConneIl,one of theunheard counsel, began in his deepest and most emphatic tone: "Well then, my lord, since your lordship refuses to hear my learned friend, you will be pleased to hear ME"; and then he plunged into the case, without waiting for any expression, assent or dissent, or allowing any inter- ruption. On he went, discussing and distinguishing, and commenting and quoting, till he secured the atten- tion of, and evidently was making an impression on, the unwilling judge. Every few minutes O'Connell would say: "Now, my lord, my learned young friend beside me, had your lordship heard him, would have informed your lordship in a more impressive and lucid manner than I can hope to do," etcetera, until he fin- ished a masterly address. The Lord Chancellor next morninggavejudgmentinfavour of O'Connell's client. He was engaged in a will case, the allegation being that the will was a forgery. The subscribing witness swore that the will had been signed by the deceased "while life was in him"— that being an expression de- rived from the Irish language, which peasants who have long ceased to speak Irish still retain. The evid- ence was strong in favour of the will, when O'Con- nell was struck by the persistency of the man, who al- ways repeated the same words, "The life was in him." O'Connell asked: "On the virtue of your oath, was he 142 Digitized by Microsoft® MR. O'CONNELL alive?" — "By the virtue of my oath, the life was in him." — "Now I call upon you in the presence of your Maker, who will one day pass sentence on you for this evidence, I solemnly ask — and answer me at your peril — was there not a live fly in the dead man's mouth when his hand was placed on the will?" The witness was taken aback at this question; he trembled, turned pale, and faltered out an abject confession that the counsellor was right; a fly had been introduced in- to the mouth of the dead man, to allow the witness to swear that "life was in him." O'Connell was defending John Connor on a charge of murder. The most incriminating evidence was the finding of the murderer's hat, left behind on the road. The all-important question was as to the identityof the hat as that of the accused man. A constable was pre- pared to swear to it. "You found thishat?"said O'Con- nell. "Yes."— "You examined it?"— "Yes."— "You know it to be the prisoner's property?" — "Yes." — "When you picked it up you saw it was damaged?" — "Yes." — "And looking inside you saw the prisoner's name, J-o-H-N C-O-N-N-O-R?" (here he spelt out the name slowly). "Yes," was the answer. "There is no name inside at all, my lord," said O'Connell, and the prisoner was saved. Explaining to a judge his absence from the Civil 143 Digitized by Microsoft® BARRISTERS OF IRELAND Court at the time a case was heard, in which he should have appeared as counsel, O'Connell said he could not leave a client in the Criminal Court until the ver- dict was given. "What was it?" inquired the judge. "Acquitted," responded O'Connell. "Then you have got off a wretch who is not fit to live," said the judge. O'Connell, knowing his lordship to be a very religious man, at once replied: "I am sure you will agree with me that a man whom you regard as not fit to live would be still more unfit to die." There was a young barrister — a contemporary of O'Connell — named Parsons, who had a good deal of humour, and who hated the whole tribe of attorneys. Perhaps they had not treated him very well, but his prejudice against them was very constant and con- spicuous. One day, in the Hall of the Four Courts, an attorney came up to him to beg a subscription to- wards burying a brother attorney who had died in dis- tressed circumstances. Parsons took out a one-pound note and tendered it. "Oh, Mr. Parsons," said the ap- plicant, "I do not want so much — I only ask a shilling from each contributor. I have limited myself to that, and I cannot really take more." — "Oh, take it, take it," said Parsons; "for God's sake, my good sir, take the pound, and while you are at it bury twenty of them." There is a terseness in the following which seems to 144 Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® DANIEL O'CONNELL, "THE ilBEUATOR." Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® SERJEANT MACMAHON be inimitable. Lord Norbury was travelling with Par- sons; they passed a gibbet. "Parsons," said Norbury, with a chuckle, "where would you be now if every one had his due?" — "Alone in my carriage," replied Parsons. Here is a young Irishman's first Bar-speech.' "Your lordships perceive that we stand here as our grand- mothers' administrators de bonis non; and really, my lords, it does strike me that it would be a monstrous thing to say that a party can now come in, in the very teeth of an Act of Parliament, and actually turn us round, under colour of hanging us up, on the foot of a contract made behind our backs." A learned Serjeant MacMahon was noted for his confusion of language in his efforts to be sublime. He cared less for the sense than the sound. As, for exam- ple: "Gentlemen of the jury, I smell a rat — but I'll nip it in the bud." And, "My client acted boldly. He saw the storm brewing in the distance, but he was not dis- mayed! He took the bull by the horns and he indicted him for perjury" Peter Burrowes, a well-known member of the Irish Bar, was on one occasion counsel for the prosecution at an important trial for murder. Burrowes had a sev- ere cold, and opened his speech with a box of lozenges in one hand and in the other the small pistol bullet by 145 K Digitized by Microsoft® BARRISTERS OF IRELAND which the man had met his death. Between the pauses of his address he kept supplying himself with a loz- enge. But at last, in the very middle of a 'high-falutin' period, he stopped. His legal chest heaved, his eyes seemed starting from his head, and in a voice tremulous with fright he exclaimed: "Oh! h-h!!! Gentlemen, gen- tlemen; I've swallowed the bul-let!" An Irish counsel who was once asked by the judge for whom he was "concerned," replied: "My lord, I am retained by the defendant, and therefore I am concerned for the plaintiflf." A junior at the Bar in course of his speech began to use a simile of "the eagle soaring high above the mists of the earth, winning its daring flight against a midday sun till the contemplation becomes too dazz- ling for humanity, and mortal eyes gaze after it in vain." Here the orator was noticed to falter and lose the thread of his speech, and sat down after some vain attempts to regain it; the judge remarking: "The next time, sir, you bring an eagle into Court, I should re- commend you to clip its wings." Mr. Tim Healy's power of effective and stinging re- partee is probably unexcelled. He is seldom at a loss for a retort, and there are not a few politicians and others who regret having been foolish enough to rouse his resentment. There is on record, however, an amus- ing interlude in the passing of which Tim was discom- 146 Digitized by Microsoft® MR. HEALY fited — crushed, and found himself unable to "rise to the occasion." During the hearing of a case at the Recorder's Court in Dublin the Testament on which the witnesses were being sworn disappeared. After a lengthy hunt for it, counsel for the defendant noticed that Mr. Healy had taken possession of the book, and was deeply absorbed in its contents, and quite unconscious of the dismay its disappearance was causing. "I think, sir," said the counsel, addressing the Re- corder, "that Mr. Healy has the Testament." Hearing his name mentioned, Mr. Healy looked up, realised what had occurred, and, with apologies, handed it over. "You see, sir," added the counsel, "Mr. Healy was so interested that he did not know of our loss. He took it for a new publication." For once Mr. Healy's nimble wit failed him, and forced him to submit to the humili- ation of being scored off. In theNorth of Ireland the peasantry pronounce the word witness "wetness." At Derry Assizes a man said he had brought his "wetness" with him to corrob- orate his evidence. "Bless me," said thejudge, "about what ageare you?" — "Forty-two my last birthday, my lord," replied the witness. "Do you mean to tell the jury," said thejudge, "that at your age you still have a wet nurse?" — "Of course I have, my lord." Counsel hereupon interposed and explained. 147 Digitized by Microsoft® BARRISTERS OF IRELAND The witness who gave the following valuable test- imony, however, was probably keeping strictly to fact. "I sees Phelim on the top of the wall. 'Paddy,' he says. 'What,' says I. 'Here,' says he. 'Where?' says I. 'Hush,' says he. 'Whist,' says I. And that's all." The wit of the Irish Bar seems to infect even the of- ficers of the Courts and the people who enter the wit- ness-box. It is impossible, for example, not to admire the fine irony of the usher who, when he was told to clear the Court, called out: "All ye blaggards that are not lawyers lave the building." Irish judges have much greater difficulties to con- tend against, because the people with whom they have to deal have a fund of ready retort. "Sir," said an ex- asperated Irish judge to a witness who refused to an- swer the questions put tohim — "sir, this is a contempt of Court." — "Iknowit,mylord,but I was endeavouring to concale it," was the irresistible reply, A certain Irish attorney threatening to prosecute a printer for inserting in his paper the death of a person still living, informed him that "No person should pub- lish a death unless informed of the fact by the party deceased." A rather amusing story is told of atrial where one ol the Irish jurymen had been "got at" and bribed to se- cure the jury agreeing to a verdict of "Manslaughter," however much they might want to return one upon the 148 Digitized by Microsoft® BRIBED JURYMAN capital charge of "Murder." The jury were out for se- veral hours, and it was believed that eventually the re- sult would be that they would not agree upon a verdict at all. However,closeuponmidnight,theywerestarved into one, and it was that of "Manslaughter." Next day the particular juryman concerned received his prom- ised reward,andinpaying it, the man who had arranged it for him remarked: "I suppose you hadagreat deal of difficulty in getting the other jurymen to agree to a verdict of 'Manslaughter'?" — "I should just think I did,"replied theman. "I had to knock it into them, for all the others — the whole eleven of them — wanted to acquit him." An Irish lawyer addressed the Court as Gentlemen instead of Your Honours. When he had concluded, a brother lawyer pointed out his error. He immediately rose and apologised thus: "In the heat of the debate I called your honours gentlemen, — I made a mistake, your honours." Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® CHAPTER FIVE THE JUDGES OF SCOTLAND Digitized by Microsoft® " Ye Barristers of England Your triumphs idle are, Till ye can match the names that ring Round Caledonia's Bar. Yowc John Doe and your Richard Roe Are but a paltry pair : Look at those who compose The flocks round Brodie's Stair, Who ruminate on Shaw and Tait And flock round Brodie's Stair. " But, Barristers of England, Come to us lovingly. And any Scot who greets you not We'll send to Coventry. Put past your brief, embark for Leith, And when you've landed there. Any wight with delight Will point out Brodie's Stair Or lead you all through Fountainhall Till you enter Brodie's Stair." OuTRAM : Legal and other Lyrics, Digitized by Microsoft® CHAPTER FIVE THE JUDGES OF SCOTLAND FROM THE INSTITUTION OF THE COURT of Session by James V of Scotland till well into the nineteenth century,it was the custom of Scottish j udges when taking their seat on the Bench to assume a title fromanestate — it might even be froma farm — already in their own or their family's possession. So we find that nearly every parish in Scotland has given birth to a judge who by this practice has made that parish or an estate in it more or less familiar to Scottish ears. Monboddo, near Fordoun, in Kincardineshire, at once recalls the judge who gave "attic suppers" in his house in St. John Street, Edinburgh, and held atheory that all infants were born with tails like monkeys; but under the modern practice of simply adding "Lord" to his surname of Burnet, we doubt if his eccentric personality would be so readily remembered. Lord Dirleton's Doubts, Lord Fountainhall's Historical Observes f carry a more imposing sound in their titles than if those one-time indispensable works of refer- ence had been simply named Nisbet on Legal Doubts, and Lauder on Historical Observations of Memorable Events. The selectionof a titlewas an important matterwith these old judges. When Lauder was raised to the Bench, his estate to the south-east of Edinburgh was IS3 Digitized by Microsoft® THE JUDGES OF SCOTLAND called Woodhead; but it would never have done for a Senator of the College of Justice to be known as "Lord Woodhead," so the name of the estate was changed to Fountainhall, and as Lord Fountainhall he took his seat among "the Fifteen" as the full Bench of judges was then termed. These old-time judges with their rugged ferocity, corruption, and occasionally brave words and deeds, in a great measure present to us now a miniature his- tory of Scotland in the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries. "Show me the man, and I will show you the law," one is reported to have said, meaning that the litigant with the longest purse was pretty certain to win his case in the long run. They delighted in long arguments, and highly appreciated bewildermentj in pleadings; "Dinna be brief," cried one judge when an advocate modestly asked to be briefly heard in a case in which he appeared as junior counsel. But the tend- ency to delay cases in the old Courts stretched beyond all reasonable lengths and became a scandal to the country. It was not a question of a month or even a year. Years passed and still cases remained unde- cided, some even were passed on from one generation to another — a litigant by his will handing on his plea in the Court to his successor along with his estate. This protracted delay in deciding causes formed the subject of that highly amusing and characteristic skit 154 Digitized by Microsoft® JAMES BOSWELL on the Scottish judges for which Boswell was largely responsible: THE COURT OF SESSION GARLAND Part First The Bill charged on was payable at sight And decree was craved by Alexander Wight;^ But, because it bore a penalty in case of failzie It therefore was null contended Willie Baillie.* The Ordinary not chusing to judge it at random Did with the minutes make avizandum. And as the pleadings were vague and windy His Lordship ordered memorials hinc inde. We setting a stout heart to a stey brae Took into the cause Mr. David Rae:' Lord Auchenleck,* however, repelled our defence. And over and above decerned for expence. However of our cause not being asham'd, Unto the whole Lords we straightway reclaim'd; And our petition was appointed to be seen, Because it was drawn by Robbie Macqueen.^ The answer of Lockhart^ himself it was wrote, And in it no argument or fact was forgot; ' Wight : a well-known advocate of the period. ' Baillie : Lord Palkemmet. ' Afterwards Lord Eskgrove. ' The father of James Boswell. ° Afterwards Lord Braxfield. *_ Lord Covington. 155 Digitized by Microsoft® THE JUDGES OF SCOTLAND He is the lawyer that from no cause will flinch, And on this occasion divided the Bench. Alemoor,^ the judgment as illegal blames, 'Tis equity, you bitch, replies my Lord Kames;^ This cause, cries Hailes,* to judge I can't pretend, For Justice, I see, wants an e at the end. Lord Coalston* expressed his doubts and his fears. And Strichen^ then in his weel weels and O dears; This cause much resembles that of M'Harg, And should go the same way, says Lordy Barjarg.^ Let me tell you, my Lords, this cause is no joke; Says with a horse laugh my Lord EUiock^ To have read all the papers I pretend not to brag, Says my Lord Gardenstone^ with a snuff and a wag. Up rose the President,^ and an angry man was he, To alter this judgment I never can agree; The east wing said yes, and the west wing cried not, And it carried ahere by my Lord's casting vote. ^ Andrew Pringle. ' Henry Home, who was notorious for the use of the epithet in the text. ' Sir David Dalrymple, author of the Annals of Scotland. * George Brown of Coalston. ' Alexander Fraser of Strichen. * James Erskine, who changed his title to Lord Alva. ' James Veitch. * Francis Garden, who founded the town of Laurencekirk in Kincardineshire. ° Robert Dundas, first Lord President of that name. IS6 Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® CHARLES HAY, LORD NEWTOK. Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® THE GARLAND This cause being somewhat knotty and perplext, Their Lordships not knowing what they'd determine next; And as the session was to rise so soon. They superseded extract till the 12th of June. Part Second Having lost it, so now we prepare for the summer. And on the izth of June presented a reclaimer; But dreading a refuse, we gaye Dundas^ a fee, And though it run nigh it was carried to see. In order to bring aid from usage beyond. The answers were drawn by quondam Mess John^^ He united with such art our law the civil. That the counse'l, on both sides, would have seen him to the devil. The cause being called, my Lord Justice-Clerk,^ With all due respect, began a loud bark; He appeal'd to his conscience, his heart, and from thence, Concluded to alter, but give no expence. Lord Stonefield,*, unwilling his judgment to podder. Or to be precipitate agreed with his brother; But Monboddo^ was clear the bill to enforce. Because, he observed, 'twas the price of a horse. ^ Henry, first Viscount Melville, the friend of Pitt. ^ A nickname for John Erskine of Carnoch. 3 Sir Thomas Miller of Glenlee. * John Campbell, raised to the Bench in 1796. ^ Jas. Burnet of Monboddo, who had a theory that human beings were born with tails. Digitized by Microsoft® THE JUDGES OF SCOTLAND Says Pitfour^ with a wink and his hat all agee, I remember a case in the year twenty-three, The magistrates of Banff contra Robert Carr, I remember well, I was then at the Bar. Likewise, my Lords, in the case of Peter Caw, Superflua non nocent was found to be law: Lord Kennet^ also quoted the case of one Lithgow Where a penalty in a bill was held pro non scripto. Lord President brought his chair to the plum. Laid hold of the bench and brought forward his bum; In these answers, my Lords, some freedoms have been used. Which I could point out, provided I chus'd. I was for this interlocutor, my Lords, I admit. But am open to conviction as long's I here do sit; To oppose your precedents I quote you some clauses, But Tait^ a priori hurried up the causes. He prov'd it as clear as the sun in the sky That the maxims of law could not here apply, That the writing in question was neither bill nor band But something unknown in the law of the land. The question adhere or alter being put, It carried to alter by a casting vote: Baillie then mov'd. — In the bill there's a raze, But by that time their Lordships had called a new case. 1 James Ferguson of Pitfour. Owing to weak eyesight he wore his hat on the Bench. ^ Robert Bruce of Kennet. ' Clerk of Session. IS8 Digitized by Microsoft® LORD MEADOWBANK It was the first Lord Meadowbank, who wearying of the dry statement of a case made by Mr. Thomas W. Blair, broke in with the remark: "Declaim, sir! why don't you declaim? Speak to me as if I were a popular assembly." In the reign of Queen Anne there was an old Scot- tish judge — Lord Dun — who was particularly distin- guished for his piety. Thomas Coutts, the founder of the bank now so well known, used to relate of him that when a difficult case came before him, as Lord Ordin- ary, he used to say, "Eh, Lord, what am I to do ? Eh, sirs, I wish you would make it up!" Of another judge of much the same period, also noted for his strict ob- servance of religious ordinances; butwho,at the same time, did not allow these to interfere with his social habits,it is related that every Saturday evening he had with him his niece, who afterwards married a more famous Scottish judge, Andrew Fletcher, Lord Milton, Charles Rosswhomadehimself prominent in the "45" Rebellion, and David Reid, his clerk. The judge had whatwas,and in some parts of Scotland still is, known as "the exercise," which consisted of the reading of a chapter from the Bible, and his form of announcing the evening devotions was : "Betsy (his niece), ye hae a sweet voice, lift ye up a psalm; Charles, ye hae a gey strong voice, read the chapter; and David, fire ye the plate." Firing the plate consisted of a dish of brandy IS9 Digitized by Microsoft® THE JUDGES OF SCOTLAND prepared for the company, of which David took charge, and while the first part of the proceedings were in progress David lighted the brandy, which when he thought it burnt to his master's taste he blew out, and this was the signal for the others to stop, while the whole company partook of the burntbrandy. This same j udge — Lord Forglen — was walking one day with Lord Newhall, in the latter's grounds. Lord Newhall was a grave and austere man, while, as may be gathered, Lord Forglen was a medley of curious elements. As they passed a picturesque bend of a river Lord For- glen exclaimed: "Now, my lord, this is a fine walk. If ye want to pray to God, can there be a better place? If ye want to kiss a bonny lass, can there be a better place?" Sir David Rae(LordEskgrove),Lord Justice-Clerk of Scotland, has been described as a ludicrous person about whom people seemed to have nothing else to do but tell stories. Sir Walter Scott imitated perfectly his slow manner of speech and peculiarpronunciation, which always put an accent on the last syllable of a word, and the letter "g" when at the end of a word got its full value. When a knot of young advocates was seen standing round the fireplace of the Parliament Hall listening to a low muttering voice, and the party suddenly broke up in roars of laughter, it was pretty c ertain to be a select company to whom Sir Walter had 1 60 Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® SIR DAVID RAE, LORD ESKGROVE. Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® LORD ESKGROVE been retailing one of the latest stories of Lord Esk- grove. Hewas aman of much self-importance, which comes out in his remarks to ayoung lady of great beauty who was called as a witness in the trial of Glengarry for murder. "Young woman, you will now consider your- self as in the presence of Almighty God, and of this Court ; lift up your veil, throw off all modesty, and look me in the face." Sir John Henderson of Fordell, a zealous Whig, had long nauseated the Scottish Civil Courts by his bdrgh politics. Their lordships of the Bench had once to fix the amount of some discretionary penalty that he had incurred. Lord Eskgrove began to give his opinion in a very low voice, but loud enough to be heard by those next him, to the effect that the fine ought to be £yi, when Sir John, with his usual imprudence, inter- rupted him and begged him to raise his voice, add- ing that if judges did not speak so as to be heard they might as well not speak at all. Lord Eskgrove, who could never endure anyimputation of bodily infirmity, asked his neighbour, "What does the fellow say?" — "He says, that if you don't speak out, you may as well hold your tongue." — "Oh, is that what he says? My lords, what I was saying was very simpell; I was only sayingg, that in my humbell opinyon this fine could not be less than^^asosterlingg" — this sum being i6i L Digitized by Microsoft® THE JUDGES OF SCOTLAND roared out as loudly as his old angry voice could launch it. A common saying of his to juries was: "And now, gentle-men, having shown you that the panell's argu- ment is impossibill, I shall now proceed to show you that it is extremely improbabill." In condemning some persons to death for breaking into Sir John Colquhoun's house and assaulting him and others, as well as robbing them, Eskgrove, after enumerating minutely the details of their crime, closed his address to the prisoners with this climax: "All this you did; and God preserve us! juist when they were sitten doon tae their denner." When condemning a tailor convicted of stabbing a soldier, the offence was aggravated in LordEskgrove's eyes by the fact that "not only did you murder him, whereby he was berea-ved of his life, but you did thrust, or push, or pierce, or project, or propell, the le-thall weapon through the belly-band of his regiment- al breeches, which were his Majesty's." One of the most biting of caustic jests made by a judge of the old Court of Session of Scotland, before its reconstruction at the beginning of thenineteenth cent- ury, was uttered during the hearingof a claim to apeer- age. The claimant was obviously resting his case upon forged documents, and the judge suddenly remarked in the broad dialect of the time, "If ye persevere ye'll nae 162 Digitized by Microsoft® LORD HALKERSTON doot be a peer, but it will be a peer o' anither tree!" The claimant did not appreciate this idea of being grafted, and abandoned the case. To return to the stories of the earlier period of the eighteenth century, there is one told of Lord Halker- ston. He was waited on by a tenant, who with a woeful countenance informed his lordship that one of his cows had gored a cow belonging to the judge, and he feared the injured animal could not live. "Well, then, of course you must pay for it," said his lordship. "In- deed, my lord, it was not my fault, and you know I am but a very poor man." — " I can't help that. The law says you must pay for it. I am not to lose my cow, am I?" — "Well, my lord, if it must be so, I cannot say more. But I forgot what I was saying. It was my mis- take entirely. I should have said that it was your lord- ship's cow that gored mine." — "Oh, is that it? That's quite a different affair. Go along, and don't trouble me just now. I am very busy. Be off, I say!" And there is one of the testy old Lord Polkemmet when he interrupted Mr. James Ferguson, afterwards Lord Kilkerran, whose energy in enforcing a point in his address to the Bench took the form of beating viol- ently on the table: "Maister Jemmy, dinna dunt; ye may think ye're dunting it intill me, but ye're juist dunting it oot o' me, man." 163 Digitized by Microsoft® THE JUDGES OF SCOTLAND He was reputed to be dull, and rarely decided a case upon the first hearing. On one occasion, after having heard counsel, among whom was the Hon. Henry Erskine, John Clerk, and others, in a cause of no great difficulty,he addressed the Bar: "Well,Maister Erskine, I heard you, and I thocht ye were richt; syne I heard you, Dauvid, and I thocht ye were richt; and noo I hae heard Maister Clerk,and I think he's richtest amang ye a'. That bauthers me, ye see! Sae I man een tak' hame the process an' wimble-wamble it i' ma wame a wee ower ma toddy, and syne ye'se hae ma interlocutor." "The Fifteen," as the full Bench of the old Court of Session of Scotland was popularly called, were deliber- ating on a bill of suspension and interdict relative to certain caravans with wild beasts on the then vacant ground which formed the beginning of the new com- munication with the new Town of Edinburgh spreading westwards and the Lawnmarket — now known as the Mound. In the course of the proceedings Lord Banna- tyne fell fast asleep. The case was disposed of and the next called, which related to a right of lien over certain goods. The learned lord who continued dozing hav- ing heard the word "lien" pronounced with an em- phatic accent by Lord Meadowbank, raised the follow- ing discussion: Meadowbank: "I am very clear that there was a Hen on this property." 164 Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® HENRY HOME LORD KAMES. Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® LORD KAMES Bannatyne: "Certain; but it ought to be chained, because " Balmuto: "My lord, it's no a livin' lion, it's the Latin word for lien" (leen). Hermand: "No, sir; the word is French." Balmuto: I thought it was Latin, for it's in italics." Henry Home (Lord Karnes) was at once one of the most enlightened and learned of Scottish judges of the latter half of the eighteenth century, and one ofthemost eccentric. His History of Mankind brought him into correspondence with most of the famous men and women of his day, and yet it was his delight to walk up the Canongate and High Street with a half-witted creature who made it his business to collect all the gos- sip of the town and retail it to his lordship as he made his way to Court in the morning. His humour was very sarcastic, and nothing delighted him more than to ob- serve that it cut home. Leaving the Court one day shortly before his death he met James Boswell, and accosted him with, "Well, Boswell, I shall be meeting your old father one of these days, what shall I say to him how you are getting on now?" Boswell disdained to reply. After a witness in a capital trial at Perth Cir- cuit concluded his evidence. Lord Kames said to him, "Sir, I have one question more to ask you, and remem- ber you are on your oath. You say you are from i6s Digitized by Microsoft® THE JUDGES OF SCOTLAND Brechin?" — "Yes, my lord." — "When do you return thither?" — "To-morrow, my lord." — "Do you know Colin Gillies?" — "Yes.my lord; I know him very well." — "Then tell him that I shall breakfast with him on Tuesday morning." Lord Karnes used to relate a story of a man who claimed the honour of his acquaintance on rather sing- ular grounds. His lordship, when one of the justic- iary judges, returning from the north Circuit to Perth, happened one night to sleep at Dunkeld. The next morning, walking towards the ferry, but apprehending he had missed his way, he asked a man whom he met to conduct him. The other answered, with much cord- iality, "That I will do with all my heart, my lord. Does not your lordship remember me? My name's John . I have had (heAonour to be before your lordship for stealing sheep!" — "Oh, John, I remember you well; and how is your wife? She had the honour to be before me too,for receiving them, knowing them to be stolen." — "At your lordship's service. We were very lucky; we got off for want of evidence; and I am still going on in the butcher trade." — "Then," replied his lordship, "we may have the honour of meeting again." Once when on Circuit his lordship had been doz- ing on the bench, a noise created by the entrance of a new panel woke him, and he inquired what the matter was. " Oh, it's a woman, my lord, accused of child i66 Digitized by Microsoft® LORD ELDIN murder." — "And a weel farred b — h too," muttered his lordship, loud enough to be heard bythose present. John Clerk (Lord Eldin) was one of the best-known advocates at the Scottish Bar in the first quarter of the nineteenth century, and probably the last of them to retain the old Scots style of pronunciation. His voice wasloud and his manner brow-beating,from which the Bench suffered equally with his brother members of the Bar. He suffered from a lameness in oneleg, which was made the subject of a passing remark by two young women in the High Street of Edinburgh one day as Clerk was making his way to Court. "There goes John Clerk the lame lawyer," said one to the other. Clerk overheard the remark, and turning back addressed the speaker: "The lame man, my good wo- man, not the lame lawyer." The stories of his advocate days are numerous, and many of them probably well known. In his retention of old Scots pronunciation he got the better of Lord Eldon when pleading before the House of Lords one day. "That's the whole thing in plain English, ma lords," he said. "In plain Scotch, you mean, Mr. Clerk." — "Nae maitter, in plain common sense, ma lords, and that's the same in a' languages." On another occasion before the same tribunal he had frequently referred to water, pronouncing it"watter,"whenhewas interrupt- 167 Digitized by Microsoft® THE JUDGES OF SCOTLAND ed by the inquiry, "Do you spell water with two t's in the north, Mr. Clerk?"— "No, my lord, but we spell mainners wi' twa n's." And there is the well-known oneof his use of the word "enough," which in oldScots was pronounced "enow." His repetition of the word in the latter form drew from the Lord Chancellor the remark that at the English Courts the word was pronounced "enough." "Very well, my lord," replied Clerk, and he proceeded with his address till coming to describe his client, who was a ploughman, and his client's claim, he went on: "My lords, my client is a plufFman, who plufFs a pluff gang o' land in the parish of," &c. "Oh! just go on with your own pronunci- ation, Mr. Clerk," remarked the Lord Chancellor. His encounters with membersof theScottish Bench were of a more personal character. Indeed, for years he appears to have held most of them in unfeigned con- tempt. A junior counsel on hearing their lordships give judgment against his client exclaimed that he was surprised at such a decision. This was construed into contempt of Court, and he was ordered to attend at the Bar next morning. Fearing the consequences of his rash remark, he consulted John Clerk, who offered to apologise for him in a way that would avert any un- pleasant result. Accordingly, when the name of the delinquent was called, John Clerk rose and addressed the Bench: "I am sorry, my lords, that my young i68 Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® JOHN CLERK, LORD ELDIN. Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® LORD ELDIN friend so far forgot himself as to treat your lordships with disrespect. He is extremely penitent, and you will kindly ascribe his unintentional insult to his ig- norance. You will see at once that it did not originate in that: he said he was surprised at the decision of your lordships. Now, if he had not been very ignorant of what takes place in this Court every day; had he known your lordships but half so long as I have done, he would not be surprised at anything you did." Two judges, father and son, sat on the Scottish Bench, in succession, under the title of Lord Meadow- bank. The second Lord Meadowbank was by no means such a powerful judge as his father. In hisCourt,Clerk was pressing his construction of some words in a con- veyance, and contrasting the use of the word "also" with the use of the word "likewise." "Surely, Mr. Clerk," said his lordship, "you cannot seriously argue that 'also' means anything different from 'likewise' ! They mean precisely the same thing; and it matters not which of them is preferred." — "Not at all, my lord; there is' all the difference in the world between these two words. Let us take an instance: your worthy father was a judge on that Bench; your lordship is 'also' a judge on the same Bench; but it does not follow that you are a judge 'like wise.'" When Meadowbank was about to be raised to the Bench he consulted John Clerk about the title he 169 Digitized by Microsoft® THE JUDGES OF SCOTLAND should adopt. Clerk's suggestion was "Lord Preserve Us." The legal acquirements of James Wolfe Murray were not held in high esteem by his brethren of the Bar, and when he became a judge with the title of Lord Cringletie, Clerk wrote the following clever epi- gram: " Necessity and Cringletie Are fitted to a tittle ; Necessity has nae law, And Cringletie as little." The only man on the Bench for whom John Clerk retained a respectfulness not generally exhibited to others in that position was Lord President Blair. After hearing the President overturn without any effort an argument he had laboriously built up, and which ap- peared to be regarded as unsurmountable by the aud- ience who heard it, Clerk sat still for a few moments, then as he rose to leave the Court he was heard to say: "My man, God Almighty spared nae pains when He made your brains." When heascended theBench in his sixty-fifth year, and when his physical powers were declining, he re- ceived the congratulations of his brother judges, one of whom expressed surprise that he had waited so long for the distinction. "Well, you see, I did not get 'doit- ed' just as soon as the rest of you," replied the new- made judge. Like the generation preceding his. Clerk was of a 170 Digitized by Microsoft® LORD ELDIN very convivial disposition. Of him the storyis told that one Sunday morning, while people were making their way to church, he appeared at his door in York Place in his dressing-gown and cowl, with a lighted candle in his hand, showing out two friends who had been car- ousing with him, and in the firm belief that it was about midnight instead of next mid-day. At the ter- mination of a Bannatyne Club dinner, where wit and wine had contended for the mastery, the excited judge on the way to his carriage tumbled downstairs and, miserdbile dictu, broke his nose, an accident which compelled him to confine himself to the housefor some time. He reappeared, however, with a large patch on his olfactory member, which gave a most ludicrous ex- pression to his face. On someone inquiring how this happened, he said it was the effect of his studies. "Studies!" ejaculated the inquirer. "Yes," growled the judge; "ye've heard, nae doot, about Coke upon Littleton, but I suppose you never before heard of Clerk upon Stair!" When asked by a friend what was the difference between him and Lord Eldon, the Lord Chancellor of England, Eldin replied : "Oh, there's only an 'i' of a difference." Charles Hay (Lord Newton), known in private life as "The Mighty," has been described by Lord Cock- 171 Digitized by Microsoft® THE JUDGES OF SCOTLAND burn as "famous for law, paunch, whist, claret, and worth." His indulgence in wine and his great bulk made him slumbrous, and when sitting in Court after getting the gist of a case he almost invariably fell fast asleep. Yet it is strange to find it recorded that when- ever anything pertinent to the matter under discussion was said he was immediately wide awake and in full possession of his reasoning faculties. While a very zealous but inexperienced counsel was pleading be- fore him, his lordship had been dozing, as usual, for some time, till at last the young man, supposing him asleep, and confident of a favourable judgment in his case, stopped short in his pleading and, addressing the other judges on the Bench, said: "My lords, it is unnecessary that I should go on, as Lord Newton is fast asleep." — "Ay, ay, "cried Lord Newton, "you will have proof of that by and by" — when, to the aston- ishment of the young advocate, after a most luminous view of the case, he gave a very decided and elaborate judgment against him. Lord Jeffrey himself declared that he only went to Oxford to improve his accent, and according to some of the older members of the Bar of his days, he only lost his Scots accent and did not learn the English. A story of his early days at the Bar is related to the effect that when pleading before Lord Newton the judge stopped him and asked in broad Scots, "Whaur 172 Digitized by Microsoft® LORD COCKBURN were ye educat', Maister Jawfrey," — "Oxford, my lord." — "Then I doot ye maun gang back there again, for we can mak' nocht o' ye here." But Mr. Jeffrey got back his own. For, before the same judge, happen- ing to speak of an "itinerant violinist," Lord Newton inquired: "D'ye mean a blin' fiddler?" — "Vulgarly so called, my lord," was the reply. Circuit Courts were in Scotland, in the eighteenth and early years of the nineteenth century (as in Eng- land and Ireland), occasions for a great display in the county towns in which they were held. Whether the judges had arrived on horseback or as later in their private carriages, there was always the procession to the court-house, in which the notabilities of the district took part. Lord Cockburn, who had no sympathy with this part of a judge's duties, thus describes one of his experiences in the early days of his Circuit journeys: "Yet there are some of us who like the procession, though it can never be anything but mean and lud- icrous, and who fancy that a line of soldiers, or the more civic array of paltry policemen, or of doitedspecial con- stables, protecting a couple of judges who flounder in awkward gowns and wigs through ill-paved streets, followed by a few sneering advocates and preceded by two or three sheriffs or their substitutes, with their swords, which trip them, and a provost and some 173 Digitized by Microsoft® THE JUDGES OF SCOTLAND bailie-bodies trying to look grand, the whole defended by a poor iron mace, and advancing each with a differ- ent step, to the sound of two cracked trumpets, ill- blown by a couple of drunken royal trumpeters, the spectators all laughing, who fancy that all this pre- tence of greatness and reality of littleness contributes to the dignity of judges." Things are changed now. Even Lord Cockburn saw the change that the intro- duction of railways made in the progress of Circuit work, and with them a lesser display and more dign- ified opening of the courts of justice in local towns. But the older Circuits were times of muchfeastingand merriment,inwhichthe judges of that period took their full share as well as the members of the Bar accom- panying them. In the eyes of some of these old wor- thies it was part of the dignity of their position to sit down after Court work at two o'clock in the morning to a collation of salmon and roast beef, and drink bum- pers of claret and mulled port with the provosts and other local worthies, although they were due in Court that same morningat nine to try some miserable creat- ure for a serious crime. Lord Pitmilly had no stomach for such proceedings, his inclination was stronger for decorum and law than for revelling. Once at a Circuit town he ordered his servant to bring to his room a kettle of hot water. Lord Hermand on his way to din- ner at midnight, meeting the servant, said, "God bless 174 Digitized by Microsoft® LORD COCKBURN me, is he going to make a whole kettle of punch — and before supper too?" — "No,my lord,he's going to bed, but he wants to bathe his feet." — "Feet, sir! what ails his feet? Tell him to put some rum among it, and to give it all to his stomach." The Circuit sermon was an important part of the duties to which the judges had to attend in the course of their visits in the country. One of these that Lord Cockburn had to listen to was delivered from the text, "What are these that are arrayed in white robes, and whence came they?" There was nothing personal in- tended, but the ermine on the judges gowns naturally attracted significant glances from the other members of the congregation. A Glasgow clergyman and friend of the judge, not knowing that his lordship was pre- sent in his church, preached from the text, "There was in a city a judge which feared not God, neither regarded man." The announcement of the text directed all eyes towards the learned judge, which attracting the prea- cher's attention nearlyprevented him from proceeding further with the service. The judge was the. pious Lord MoncreifF, the son of the Rev. Sir Henry Well- wood Moncreiff, and the text stuck to him ever after- wards. But there seemed to have been deliberation in selection ofthe text made by a south-country minister who, before Lord Justice Boyle and Samuel M'Cor- 175 Digitized by Microsoft® THE JUDGES OF SCOTLAND mick, Advocate- Depute, preached from i Samuel vii. 1 6, "And Samuel went from year to year in circuit to Bethel,and Gilgal,and Mizpeh." Thetwo legal gentle- men took offence at this audacious attempt to ridicule the Court, they identifyingthe places mentioned in the text as representing their circuit towns of Jedburgh, Dumfries, and Ayr. In this connection maybe told the story of Lord Hermand, beside whom stood the clergy- man whose duty it was to offer up the opening prayer before the work of the Court began. He seemed to think the companyhad assembledfor no otherpurpose than to hear him perform, and after praying loud and long his lordship's patience gave way, and with a de- cided jog of his elbow he exclaimed in a stage whisper, "We've a lot of business to do, sir." From a somewhat rare volume printed for private circulation we are permitted to quote the following ballad, the authorship of which may be easily guessed, as the circuiteer who mourns the loss of his Circuit days may be as easily identified. THE EX-CIRCUITEER'S LAMENT Ae morning at the dawning I saw a Counsel yawning, And heard him say, in accents that were anything but gay, As sadly he was grinding At a meikle multiplepoinding, — The days o' my Circuits are a' fled away. 176 Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® ^ mm m- if f ■■ ■•#■ mm wm i ii ' 1011 ■ m * m^i wm^ ^^^w " "^.^ -^^PfBiWii .'• HENRY COCKBURN, LORD COCKBURN. Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® EX-CIRCUITEER'S LAMENT Nae banter frae Lord Deas, Nae promises o' fees That never will be paid afore the judgment-day, Nae lies dubbed "information," From the worst rogues in the nation, — The days o' my Circuits are a' fled away. Nae haveral wutty witness, Displaying his uniitness, Tae see some sma' distinction 'tween a trial and a play, Nae witness primed at lunch Wi' perjuries and punch, — The days o' my Circuits are a' fled away. Nae laughing-gas orations, Nae treading on the patience Of Judges and of Juries, who will let you say your say, Yet pay but sma' attention To the gems of your invention, — The days o' my Circuits are a' fled away. Nae mair deUghtful wondering At a new man blandly blundering, Nae kind hints from the Court that he's gangin far astray, Nae flowery depictions In the teeth of ten convictions, — The days o' my Circuits are a' fled away. Nae whacking ten years' sentence, Wi' advices o' repentance, And learn in years of leisure to admire the "law's delay." Nae fell female fury. Blackguarding Judge and Jury, — The days o' my Circuits are a' fled away. 177 M Digitized by Microsoft® THE JUDGES OF SCOTLAND Nay grey auld woman sobbing, Nae mair you'll catch her robbing, And a' the Christian virtues henceforth she will display, If the Judge will but have mercy (For the sixteenth time I daresay), — The days o' my Circuits are a' fled away, Nae processions, nae pageants, Nae pawky country agents, Nae macers, nae trumpeters, wi' tipsy blare and bray, Nae Councillors or Bailie, Or Provost smiling gaily, — The days o' my Circuits are a' fled away. Nae funny cross-examining, Nae jurymen begammoning, Nae laughter from the audience, nae gallery's hurrah, Nae fleeching for acquittal. Though you don't care a spittle, — The days o' my Circuits are a' fled away. Nae playing hocus-pocus With the tempus and the locus, Nae pleas in mitigation (a kittle job are they), Nae bonny rapes and reivings, Nae forgeries and thievings, — The days o' my Circuits are a' fled away. Nae dinners wi' the Judges, Nae drooning a' your grudges In deep, deep draughts o' claret, and a' your senses tae, Nae chatter wise or witty On ticklish points o' dittay, — The days o' my Circuits are a' fled away. i;8 Digitized by Microsoft® LORD HERMAND Nae high-jinks after dinner Wi' ony madcap sinner, Nae drinking whisky-toddy until the break o' day, Nae speeches till a hiccup Compels a sudden stick-up, — The nichts o' my Circuits are a' fled away. LordHermand'smanneron theBench conveyed the impression that hewas of an impatient, almost savage temper, but in his domestic circle he was one of the warmest-hearted of men, and one with the simplest of tastes. His outbursts on the Bench, too, were em- phasised by what, in Scotland, was called "Birr" — the emphatic energy of his pronunciation — which may be imagined but cannot be transcribed in the following dialogue between him and Lord Meadowbank. Meadowbank: "We are bound to give judgment in terms of the statute, my lords." Hermand: "A statute! What's a statute? Words — mere words. And am /to be tied down by words? No, my laards; I go by the law of right reason." He was a great friend of John Scott (Lord Eldon). In a case appealed to the House of Lords, Scott had taken the trouble to write out his speech, and read it over to Hermand, inviting his opinion of it. "It is de- lightful — absolutely delightful. I could listen to it for ever," said Hermand. "It is so beautifully written, and so beautifully read. But, sir, it's the greatest non- 179 Digitized by Microsoft® THE JUDGES OF SCOTLAND sense! It may do very well for an English Chancellor, but it would disgrace a clerk with us." The blunder that drew forth this criticism was a gross one for a Scottish lawyer, but one an English barrister might readily fall into. It was put forward in mitigation of the crime that the prisoner was in liquor when, either rashly or ac- cidentally, he stabbed his friend. While the other judges were in favour of a short s&ntence, Lord Her- mand — who had no sympathy with a man who could not carry his liquor — was vehement for transport- ation: "We are told that there was no malice, and that the prisoner must have been in liquor. In liquor! Why, he was drunk! . . . And yet he murdered the very man who had been drinking with him! Good God, my laards, if he will do this when he is drunk, what will he not do when he is sober?" On one of Lord Hermand's circuits a wag put a musical-box, which played "Jack Alive," on one of the seats of the Court. The music struck the audience with consternation, and the judge stared in the air, looking unutterable things, and frantically called out, "Macer, what in the name of God is that?" The macer looked round in vain, when the wag called out, "It's 'Jack Alive,' my lord." — "Dead or alive, put him out this moment," called out the judge. "We can't grip him, my lord." — "If he has the art of hell, let every man as- i8o Digitized by Microsoft® LORD HERMAND sist to arraign him before me, that I may commit him for this outrage and contempt." Everybody tried to discover the offender, and fortunately the music ceas- ed. But it began again half an hour afterwards, and the judge exclaimed, "Is he there again? By all that's sacred, he shall not escape me this time — fence, bolt, bar the doors of the Court, and at your peril let not a man, living or dead, escape." All was bustle and con- fusion, the officers looked east and west, and up in the air and down on the floor; but the search was in vain. The judge at last began to suspect witchcraft, and exclaimed, "This is a deceptio auris — it is absolute delusion, necromancy, phantasmagoria." And to the day of his death the judge never understood the pre- cise origin of this unwonted visitation. On another occasion, in his own Court in the Parl- iament House, he was annoyed by a noise near the door, and called to the macer, "What is that noise?" — "It'saman,mylord."— "Whatdoeshewant?"— He wants in, my lord." — "Keep him out!" The man, it seems, did get in, and soon afterwards a like noise was renewed, and his lordship again demanded, "What's the noise there?" — "It's the same man, my lord." — "What does he want now?" — "He wants out, my lord." — Then keep him in — I say, keep him in!" Lord President Campbell, after the fashion of those i8i Digitized by Microsoft® THE JUDGES OF SCOTLAND times, was somewhat addicted to browbeating young counsel; and as bearding a judge on the Bench is not a likely way to rise in favour, his lordship generally got it all his own way. Upon one occasion, however, he caught a tartar. His lordship had what are termed pig's eyes, and his voice was thin and weak. Corbet, a bold and sarcastic counsel in his younger days, had been pleading before the Inner House, and as usual the President commenced his attack, when his intend- ed victim thus addressed him: "My lord, it is not for me to enter into any altercation with your lordship, for no one knows better than I do the great difference between us; you occupy the highest place on the Bench, and I the lowest at the Bar; and then, my lord, I have not your lordship's voice of thunder — I have not your lordship's rolling eye of command." Robert Macqueen (Lord Braxfield), the prototype of Stevenson's "Weir of Hermiston," was known as the "hanging judge" — the Judge Jeffreys of Scotland; but he was a sound judge. He argued a point in a collo- quial style, asking a question, and himself supplying the answer in his clear, abrupt manner. But he was il- literate, and without the least desire for refined enjoy- ment, holding in disdain natures less coarse than his own; he shocked the feelings of those even of an age which had less decorum than prevailed in that which 182 Digitized by Microsoft® LORD BRAXFIELD succeeded, and would not be tolerated by the work- ing classes of to-day. Playing whistwith a lady,he ex- claimed, "What are ye doin', ye damned auld . . . ," and then recollecting himself, "Your pardon's begged, madam; I took ye for my wife." When his butler gave up his place because his lordship's wife was always scolding him: "Lord," he exclaimed, "ye've little to complain o'; ye may be thankfu' ye're no mairred to her." His most notorious sayings from the Bench were uttered during the trials for sedition towards the end of the eighteenth century, and even some of these are too coarse for repetition. "Ye're a very clever chiel," he said to one of the prisoners; "but ye wad be nane the waur o' a hangin'." And to a juror arriving late in Court he said, "Come awa, Maister Horner, come awa and help us to hang ane o' they damned scoondrels." Hanging was his terra for all kinds of punishment. To Margarot, a Baptist minister of Dundee — an- other of the political prisoners of that time — he said, "Hae ye ony coonsel, man?" — "No," replied Marga- rot. "Dae ye want tae hae ony appointed?" continued the Justice-Clerk. "No" replied the prisoner, "I only want an interpreter to make me understand what your lordship says." We have already referred to Lord MoncreifFs piety, 183 Digitized by Microsoft® THE JUDGES OF SCOTLAND and to it must be added his great simplicity of nature. Like many of his predecessors, he had a habit of making long speeches to prisoners on their conviction; but his intention was to help them to a better mode of life, not to aggravate their feelings by silly or coarse remarks. This habit, however, led him occasionally into enunciating principles which rather astonished his friends. In a murder case he found that thewoman killed was not the wife of the prisoner but his mistress, which led his lordship to explain to the prisoner that it might have been some apology for his crime had the woman been his wife, because there was difficulty in getting rid of her any other way. But the victim being only his associate he could have left her at any time, and consequently there were absolutely no ameliorat- ing circumstances in the case. From this point of view it would seem to have been (in Lord Moncreiff 's eyes) less criminal to murder a wife than a mistress. In another, a bigamy case, after referring to the perfidy and cruelty to the women and their relations, Lord Cockburn reports him to have said: "All this is bad; but your true iniquity consists in this, that you de- graded that holy ceremony which our blessed Saviour condescended io select as the type of the connection be- tween him and His redeemed Church." In the Court of Session, the judges who do not at- tend or give a proper excuse for their absence are (or 184 Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® ROBERT MACQUEEN, LORD BRAXFIELD. Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® LORD COCKBURN were) liable to a fine. This,however,is never enforced: but it is customary on the first day of the session for the absentee to send an excuse to the Lord President. Lord Stonefield having sent an excuse, and the Lord President mentioning that he had done so, the Lord Justice-Clerk said: "What excuse can a stout fellow like him hae?" — "My lord," said the President, "he has lost his wife." To which the Justice-Clerk replied: "Has he? That is a gude excuse indeed, I wish we had a' the same." Lord Cockburn's looks, tones, language, and man- ner were always such as to make one think that he be- lieved every word he said. On one occasion, before he was raised to the Bench, when defending-a murderer, although he failed to convince the judge and jurymen of the innocence of his client, yet he convinced the murderer himself that he was innocent. Sentence of death was pronounced, and the day of execution.fixed for the 3rd of March. As Lord Cockburn was passing the condemned man, the latter seized himby the gown, saying: "I have not got justice!" To this the advocate coolly replied: "Perhaps not; but you'll get it on the 3rd of March." Cockburn's racy humour displayed itself in another serious case; one inwhich a farm-servant was charged with maiming his master's cattle by cutting oif their 18S Digitized by Microsoft® THE JUDGES OF SCOTLAND tails. A consultation was held on the question of the man's mental condition at which the farmer was pre- sent,and at theclose of it some conversation tookplace about the disposal of the cattle. Turning to the farmer Cocliburn said that they might be sold, but that he would have to dispose of them wholesale for he could not now retail them. He was walking on the hillside on his estate of Bon- aly, near Edinburgh, talking to his shepherd, and spec- ulating about the reasons why his sheep lay on what seemed to be the least sheltered and coldest situation on the hill. Said hislordship: "John, if I were a sheep I would lie on the other side of the hill." Theshepherd answered: "Ay, my lord; but if ye had been a sheep ye would have had mair sense." Sitting long after the usual hour listening to a prosy counsel,Lord Cockburn was commiserated by a friend as theyleft theCourt togetherwith the remark: "Coun- sel has encroached very much on your time, my lord." — "Time, time," exclaimed his lordship; "he has ex- hausted time and encroached on eternity." When a young advocate, Cockburn was a frequent visitor atNiddrieMarischal,nearEdinburgh,the resid- ence of Mr. Wauchope. This gentleman was very particular about church-going, but one Sunday he stayed at home and his young guest started for the parish church accompanied by one of his host's hand- i86 Digitized by Microsoft® LORD COCKBURN somest daughters. On their way they passed through the garden, and were so beguiled by the gooseberry bushes that the time slipped away and they found themselves too late for the service. At dinner the laird inquired of his daughter what the text was, and when she failed to tell him he put the question to Cockburn, who at once replied: "The woman whom thou gavest to be with me she gave me of the fruit and I did eat." Jeffrey and Cockburn were counsel together in a case in which it was sought to prove that the heir of an estate was of low capacity, and therefore incapable of administrating his affairs. Jeffrey had vainly attempted to make a country witness understand his meaning as he spoke of the mental imbecility and impaired intel- lect of the party. Cockburn rose to his relief, and was successful at once. "D'ye ken young Sandy ?" — "Brawly,"said the witness; "I've kent him sin' he was a laddie." — "An' is there onything in the cratur, d'ye think?" — "Deed," responded the witness, "there's naething in him ava; he wadna ken a coo frae a cauf !" When addressing thejury in a case in which an offic- er of the army was a witness, Jeffrey frequently re- ferred to him as "this soldier." The witness, who was in Court, bore this for a time, but at last, exasperated, exclaimed, "I am not a soldier, I'm an officer!" — "Well, gentlemen of the jury,"proceeded Jeffrey, "this officer, who on his own statement is no soldier," &c. 187 Digitized by Microsoft® THE JUDGES OF SCOTLAND Patrick, Lord Robertson, one of the senators of the College of Justice, was a great humorist. He was on terms of intimacy with the late Mr. Alexander Douglas, W.S., who, on account of the untidiness of his person, was known by the sobriquet of "Dirty Douglas." Lord Robertson invited his friend to ac- companyhimto a ball. "I would go,"said Mr. Douglas, "but I don't care about my friends knowing that I at- tend balls," — "Why, Douglas," replied the senator, "put on a well-brushed coat and a clean shirt, and no- body will know you." When at the Bar, Robertson was frequently entrusted with cases by Mr. Douglas. Handing his learned friend a fee in Scottish notes, Mr. Douglas remarked: "These notes, Robertson, are, like myself,gettingold." — "Yes, they're both old anddirty, Douglas," rejoined Robertson. When Robertson was attending an appeal case in the House of Lords he received great attention from Lord Brougham. This gave rise to a report in the Par- liament House of Edinburgh that the popular Tory advocate had "ratted" to the Liberal side in politics, which found expression in the followingy'ea d esprit: " When Brougham by Robertson was told He'd condescend a place to hold, The Chancellor said, with wondering eyes. Viewing the Jiai's tremendous size, ' That you a place would hold is true. But Where's the place that would hold you ? ' " Digitized by Microsoft® LORD RUTHERFORD Lord Rutherford when at the Bar put an illustra- tion to the Bench in connection with a church case. "Suppose the Justiciary Court condemned a man to be hanged, however unjustly, could that man come in- to this Court of Session and ask your lordships to interfere?" and he turned round very majestically to, Robertson opposing him. "Oh,mylords,"saidRobert- son, "a case of suspension, clearly." When a sheriff, Rutherford, dining with a number of members of the legal profession, had to reply to the toast, "The Bench of Scotland." In illustration of a trite remark that all litigants could not be expected to have the highest regard for the judges who have tried their cases, he told the following story: A worthy but unfortunate south-country farmer had fought his case in the teeth of adverse decisions in the Lower Courts to the bitter end in one of the divisions of the Court of Session. After the decision of this tribunal affirming the judgment he had appealed against, and thus finally blasting his fondest hopes, he was heard to mutter as he left the Court: "They ca' themselves senators o' the College o' Justice, but it's ma opeenion they're a' the waur o' drink!" It was only a small point of law, but the two counsel ' were hammering at each other tooth and nail. They had been submitting this and that to his lordship for 189 Digitized by Microsoft® THE JUDGES OF SCOTLAND twenty minutes, and growing more and more heated as they argued. At last: "You're an ass, sir!" shriek- ed one. "And you're a liar, sir!" roared the other. Then the judge woke up. "Now that counsel have identified each other," said he, "let us proceed to the disputed points." A recent eminent judge of the Scottish Bench when sitting to an artist for his portrait was asked what he thought of the likeness. His lordship's reply was that he thought it good enough, but he would have liked " to see a little more dislike to Gladstone's Irish Bills in the expression." Lord Shand's shortness of stature has been a theme of several stories. When he left Edinburgh after_ sit- ting as a judge of the Court of Session for eighteen years, one of his colleagues suggested that a statue ought to be erected to him. "Or shall we say a statu- ette?" was the remark of another friend. His lordship lived at Newhailes — the property of one of the Dairy m- ple family, several members of which were eminent judges in the late seventeenth and the early eight- eenth centuries — and travelled to town by rail. The guard was a pawky Aberdonian, and had evidently been greatly struck by Lord Shand's appearance, for his customary salutation to him, delivered no doubt in aparentalandpatronising fashion, was: "Andfu (how) are ye the day, ma lordie?" His lordship's manner of 190 Digitized by Microsoft® LORD YOUNG receiving this greeting is not recorded. Still another anecdote on the same subject is that when still an ad- vocate, it was proposed to make Mr. Shand a Judge of Assize. On the proposal being mentioned to acolleague famous for his caustic wit, the latter with a good-hum- oured sneer which raised ahearty laugh at the expense of his genial friend, remarked: "Ah, a judge of a size, indeed." Lord Young's wit was of this caustic turn and not infrequently was intended to sting theperson to whom it was addressed. An advocate was wendinghis weary way through a case one day, and in the course of mak- ing a point he referred to a witness who had deponed that he had seen two different things at one time and consequently contradicted himself. Lord Young gave vent to the feelings of his colleagues in the Second Div- ision of the Court, when he interrupted thus: "Oh, Mr. B , I can see more than two things at one time. I can see yourpaper, and beyond your paper I can see you, and beyond you I can see the clock, and I can see that you have been labouring for an hour over a point that is capable of being expressed in a sentence." In the course of an argument in the same division, counsel had occasion to refer to "Fraser" (a brother judge) "on Husband and Wife." Lord Young, inter- 191 Digitized by Microsoft® THE JUDGES OF SCOTLAND rupting, asked: 'Hasn't Fraser another book?' — 'Yes, my lord, 'Master and Servant!' — 'Well,' said Lord Young, 'isn't that the same thing?' Owing to a vacancy on the Bench having been kept open for a long period, Lord Young's roll had become very heavy. Hearing that a new colleague had been appointed, and like the late judge had adopted a title ending in "hill," he gratefully quoted the lines of the one hundred and twenty-first psalm: " I to the hills will lift mine eyes, From whence doth come mine aid." Before the same judge, two prominent advocates in their day were debating a case. One of them was a part- icularly well-known figure, the feature of whose pina- fore, if he wore one, would be its extensive girth. The other advocate, who happened to be rather slim, was addressing his lordship: "My learned friend and I are particularly at one upon this point. I may say, my lord, that we are virtually in the same boat." Here his op- ponent broke in: "No, no, my lord, we are nothing of the kind. I donot agree with that." Lord Young, lean- ing across the bench, remarked: "No, I suppose you would need a whole boat to yourself." It is also attributed to Lord Young that, when Mr. Baird of Cambusdoon bequeathed a large sum of money to the Church of Scotland to found the lecture- 192 Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® GEORGE YOUNG, iORD YOUNG, Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® LORD YOUNG ship delivered under the auspices of the Baird Trust, he remarked that it was thehighest fire insurance pre- mium he had ever heard of. "Possibly, my lord," ob- served a fire insurance manager who heard the re- mark; "but you will admit that cases occur where the premium scarcely covers the risk." Lord Guthrie tells that when,as an advocate,he was engaged in a case before Lord Young, he mentioned that his client was a Free Church minister. "Well," said Lord Young, "that may be, but for all that he may perhaps be quite a respectable man." And there is the story that when Mr. Young was Lord Advocate for Scotland a vacancy occurred on the Bench and two names were mentioned in connec- tion with it. One was that of Mr. Home, Dean of Faculty, a very tall man, and the other Lord Shand. "So, Mr. Young," said a friend, "you'll be going to appoint Home?" — "I doubt if I will get his length," was the reply. "Oh, then," queried the friend, "you'll be going to appoint Shand?" — "It's the least I could do," answered the witty Lord Advocate. "What is your occupation?" asked Lord Ardwall of a witness in a case. "A miner, sir." — "Good; and how old are you?" — "Twenty, sir." — "Ah, then you are a minor in more senses than one." Whereat, no doubt, the Court laughed. "Now, my lord, we come to 193 N Digitized by Microsoft® THE JUDGES OF SCOTLAND the question of commission received by the witness, whichlwasforgetting/'said a counsel before the same judge one day. "Ah, don'tcommit the omission of omit- ting the commission," repHed his lordship. An unfortunate miner had been hit on the head by a lump of coal, and the judges of the FirstDivision of the Court of Session were considering whether his case raised a question of law or of fact. "The only law I can see in the matter," said Lord Maclaren, "is the law of gravitation." In a fishing case heard in the Court of Session some years ago, a good deal of evidence was led on the sub- ject of taking immature salmon from a river in the north. The case was an important one, and the evid- ence was taken down in shorthand notes and printed for the use of the judge and counsel next day. The evidence of one of the witnesses with respect to certain of the salmon taken was that "some of them were kelts." When hislordship turned over the pages of the printed evidence next morning to refresh his memory, he was astonished to find it stated by one of the wit- nesses in regardto the salmon that"some of them wore kilts." Many other stories, particularly of the older judges, might be given, were they not too well known. We may therefore close this chapter with the following e- pigram by a Scottish writer, which is decidedly point- 194 Digitized by Microsoft® EPIGRAM ed and clever, and has the additional merit of being self-explanatory: " He was a burglar stout and strong, Who held, 'It surely can't be wrong, To open trunks and rifle shelves, For God helps those who help themselves.' But when before the Court he came. And boldly rose to plead the same, The judge replied—' That's very true ; You've helped yourself — now God help you/'" Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® CHAPTER SIX THE ADVOCATES OF SCOTLAND Digitized by Microsoft® " Ye lawyers who live upon litigants' fees. And who need a good many to live at your ease. Grave or gay, wise or witty, whate'er your degree, Plain stuff, or Queen's Counsel, take counsel from me, When a festive occasion your spirit unbends, You should never forget the profession's best friends; So we'll send round the wine and a bright bumper fill To the jolly Testator who makes his own will. Neaves : Songs and Verses. Digitized by Microsoft® CHAPTER SIX THE ADVOCATES OF SCOTLAND SINCE DAYS WHEN SIR WALTER SCOTT gathered round him at the fireplace in the Pariiament Hall of Edinburgh acompany of young brother advoc- ates to hear the latest of Lord Eskgrove's eccentric sayings from the Bench, that rendezvous has been the favourite resort for story-telling among succeed- ing generations of counsel. While the Court is in ses- sion, they vary their daily v?alk up and down the hall by lounging round the spot wherethe future Wizard of the North proved a strong counter-attraction to many an interesting case being argued before a Lord Ordin- ary in the alcoves on the opposite side of the hall, which was then the "Outer House." It is even assert- ed that this same fireplace is the hatchery of many of the amusing paragraphs daily appearing in a column of a certain Edinburgh newspaper. But of all the witti- cisms that have enlivened the dull hours of the brief- less barrister in that historic hall during the past century, none will stand the test of time or be read with so much pleasure as those of that prince of wits, the Hon. Henry Erskine. Hairry, as he was familiarly called both by judge and counsel, was in an eminent degree the "advocate of the people." It is said that a poor man in a re- mote district of Scotland thus answered an acquaint- 199 Digitized by Microsoft® ADVOCATES OF SCOTLAND ance who wished to dissuade him from "going to law" with a wealthy neighbour, by representing the hope- lessness of being able to meet the expenses of litig- ation. "Ye dinna ken what ye're saying, maister," re- plied the litigious northerner; "there's no' a puir man in a' Scotland need want a freen' or fear a foe, sae lang as Hairry Erskine lives." When the autocratic reign ofHenryDundas as Lord Advocate was for a time eclipsed, Henry Erskine was his successor in the Whig interest. In his good-hum- oured way Dundas proposed to lend Erskine his em- broidered gown, suggesting that it would not be long before he (Dundas) would again be in office. "Thank you," said Hairry, "I am well aware it is made to suit any party, but it will never be said of me that I assum- ed the abandoned habits of my predecessor." Having been speaking in the Outer House at the Bar of Lord Swinton, a very good, but a very slow and deaf judge, Erskine was called away to Lord Brax- field's Court. On appearing his lordship said: "Well, Dean" (hewas then Dean of theFaculty of Advocates), "what is this you've been talking so loudly about to my Lord Swinton?" — "About a cask of whisky, my lord, but I found it no easy matter to make it run in his lordship's head." He was once defending a client, a lady of the name of Tickell, before one of the judges who was an in- 200 Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® THE HON. HENRY ERSKINE, LORD ADVOCATE AND DEAN OF FACULTY OF ADVOCATES. Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® HON. HENRY ERSKINE timate friend, and he opened his address to his lord- ship in these terms: "Tickell, my client, my lord." But the judge was equal to the occasion and interrupt- ed him by saying: "Tickle her yourself, Harry, you're as able to do it as I am." Lord Balmuto was a ponderous judge and not very "gleg in the uptak" (did not readily see a point), and retained the utmost gravity while the whole Court was convulsed with laughter atsomejokeof thewittyDean. Hours later, when another case was being heard, the judge would suddenly exclaim: "Eh, Maister Hairry, a' hae ye noo, a' hae ye noo, vera guid, vera guid." Hugo Arnot, a brother advocate, a tall, cadaverous- looking man, who suffered from asthma, was one day munching a speldin (a sun-dried whitfng or small had- dock, a favourite article supplied at that time, and till a generation ago, bycertain Edinburgh shops). Erskine coming up to Arnot, the latter explained that he was having his lunch. "So I see," said Harry, "and you're very like your meat." On another occasion these two worthies were discussingfuture punishment for errors of the flesh, Arnot taking a liberal, and Erskine a stronglyCalvinist view. As they were parting Erskine said to Arnot, referring to his spare figure: " For and blasphemy by the mercy of heaven To flesh and to blood much may be forgiven, But I've searched all the Scriptures and text I find none That the same is extended to skin and to bone." 20 1 Digitized by Microsoft® ADVOCATES OF SCOTLAND Erskine's brother, theextremelyeccentricLordBuch- an, who thought himself as great a jester as his two younger brothers, the Lord Chancellor of England and the Dean of Faculty of Advocates, one day putting his head below the lock of a door, exclaimed: "See, Harry,here'sLocke on the Human Understanding." — "Rather a poor edition, my lord," replied the younger brother. Sir James Colquhoun, Baronet of Luss, Principal Clerk of Session, towards the close of the eighteenth century was one of the odd characters of his time, and was made the butt of all the wags of the Parliament House. On one occasion, whilst Henry Erskine was in the Court in which Sir James was on duty, he amused himself bymaking faces at the Principal Clerk, who was greatly annoyed at the strange conduct of the tormenting lawyer. Unable to bear it longer, he disturbed the gravity of the Court by rising from the table at which he sat and exclaiming, "My lord, my lord, I wish you would speak to Harry, he's aye mak- ing faces at me." Harry, however, looked as grave as a judge and the work of the Court proceeded, until Sir James, looking again towards the bar, witnessed a new grimace from his tormentor, and convulsed Bench, Bar, and audience by roaring out: "There, there, my lord, see he's at it again." 202 Digitized by Microsoft® MR. HUGO ARNOT Hugo Arnot's eccentricity took various forms. In his house in South St. Andrew Street, in the new town of Edinburgh, he greatly annoyed a lady who Hved in the same tenement by the violence with which he kept ringing his bell for his servant. The lady complained; but what was her horror next day to hear several pis- tol-shots fired in the house, which was Arnot's new method of demanding his valet's immediate attend- ance. In his professional capacity, however, he was guid- ed by a high sense of honour and of moral obligation. In a case submitted for his consideration, which seem- ed to him to possess neither of these qualifications, he with a very grave face said to his client; "Pray what do you suppose me to be?"^ — "Why, sir," answered the client, "I understood you to be a lawyer." — "I thought, sir,"replied Arnot, "you took me for a scoun- drel." On another occasion he was consulted by a lady, not remarkable either for youth or beauty or for good temper, as to the best method of getting rid of the im- portunities ofa rejected admirer. Afterhaving told her story and claiming a relationship with him because her own name was Arnot, she wound up with: "Ye maun advise me what I ought to do with this impertinent fellow." — "Oh, marry him by all means, it's the only way to get quit of his importunities," was Arnot's ad- vice. "I would see him hanged first," retorted the lady. 203 Digitized by Microsoft® ADVOCATES OF SCOTLAND "Nay, madam," rejoined Arnot, "marry him directly as I said before, and by the Lord Harry he'll soon hang himself." Of the convivial habits of the Bar as well as the Bench in Scotland at this period many stories are told. The Second Lord President Dundas once refused to listen to counselwho obviously showed signs of having come into Court fresh from a tavern debauch. The check given by the President appeared to effect some sobering of the counsel's faculties and he immediately addressed his lordship upon the dignity of the Faculty of Advocates, winding up a long harangue with: "It is our duty and our privilege to speak, my lord, and it is your duty and your privilege to hear." Another counsel in a similar condition of haziness hurriedly entered the Court and took up the case in which he was engaged; but forgetting for which side he had beenfee'd,to the unutterable amazement of the agent, delivered a long and fervent speech in the teeth of the interests hehad been expected tosupport. When at last the agent made him understand the mistake he had made, he with infinite composure resumed his or- ation by saying: "Such, my lord, is the statement you will probably hear from my brother on the opposite side of the case. I shall now show your lordship how utterly untenable are the principles and how distort- 204 Digitized by Microsoft® MR. CROSBIE ed are the facts upon which this very specious state- ment has proceeded." And so he went over the same ground and most angelically refuted himself from the beginning of his former pleading to the end. When a barrister, pleading before Lord Mansfield, pronounced a Latin word with a false quantity his lordship rarely let the opportunity pass without ex- hibiting his own precise knowledge of that language. "My lords," said the Scottish advocate, Crosbie, at the bar of the House of Lords, "I have the honour to ap- pear before your lordships as counsel for the Cura- tors." — "Ugh," groaned the Westminster-Oxford law lord, softening his reproof by an allusion to his Scot- tish nationality, "Curators, Mr. Crosbie, Curators: I wish /7ar countrymen would pay a little more attention to prosody." — "My lord," replied Mr. Crosbie, with delightful readiness and composure,"! can assure you that <7«^ countrymen are very proud of your lordship as the greatest senator and orator of the present age." A very young Scottish advocate, afterwards an em- inent judge on the Scottish Bench, pleading before the House of Lords, ventured to challenge some early judgments of that House, on which he was abruptly asked by Lord Brougham: "Do you mean, sir, to call in question the solemn decisions of this venerable tribunal?" — ",Yes, my lord," coolly replied the young 205 Digitized by Microsoft® ADVOCATES OF SCOTLAND counsel, "there are some people in Scotland who are bold enough to dispute the soundness of some of your lordship's own decisions." Sheriff Logan, when pleading before LordCunning- hame in a case which involved numerous points of form, on some of which he ventured to express an opinion, was repeatedly interrupted byold Beveridge, the judge'sclerk — a great authorityon matters of form — who unfortunately possessed a very large nasal or- gan, which literally overhung his mouth. "No, no," said the clerk, as the sheriff was quietly explaining the practice in certain cases. On which Logan, some- what nettled at the blunt interruption, coolly replied: "But, my lord, I say: 'Yes, yes, yes,' in spite of Mr. Beveridge's noes." In the days of Sheriff Harper, Mr. Richard Lees, solicitor, Galashiels, was engaged in a case for a client who was not overburdened with the necessary funds for legal proceedings. However, he was thought good enough for the expenses in the case. The action went against Mr. Lees' client, and then Mr. Lees rose to plead formodified expenses. Butthe clientleantacross to speak to the lawyer and said in a hoarse whisper audible over the Court: "Dinna stent (limit) yoursels for the expenses for a haena a fardin'." This was too much even for the gravity of the Bench. 206 Digitized by Microsoft® POOR'S COUNSEL Not manyyears ago, in the High Court at Glasgow, a case was heard before an eminent judge still on the Scottish Bench, in which the accused had commit- ted a very serious assault and robbery. He was un- able to engage counsel for his defence, and the usual course was adopted of putting his case in the hands of "counsel for the poor." There was really no defence; but the young advocate who undertook the task had to make the best of it, and the plea he put forward was that the accused was so drunk at the time he did not know what he was doing. It was the best thing he could do in the circumstances, as all the success he could expect to make with a well-known felon was a mitigation of the sentence. When it came to his time to address the Court,he set out in the following fashion: "My lord and gentlemen of the jury, you all know what it is to be drunk." It is most important to be exact in stating the times of the movements of a person accused of murder. In a recent case this point was very minutely examined by an advocate in the Scottish Court. One witness deponed that she saw the accused in a certain place at 5.40 P.M. "Are you sure," asked the learned coun- sel in a tone calculated to make a witness not quite sure after all, "are you sure it was not twenty minutes to six?" And then he seemed surprised at the laugh- ter his question had raised. 207 Digitized by Microsoft® ADVOCATES OF SCOTLAND When Mr, Ludovick Mair, who was a very short man, was Sheriff-Substitute of Lanarkshire, he was called upon, at an Ayrshire Burns Club dinner, to pro- pose the toast of the "Ayrshire Lasses." After allud- ing to the honour that had been conferred upon him, happily said that "Provided his fair clients were pre- pared to be 'contented wi' little and canty wi' mair,' he had no compunction in performing the agreeable duty." In the Glasgow Small Debt Court where the sheriff frequently presided, a young lawyer's exhaustive elo- quence in striving to prove that his client was not due the sum sued for, drew from his lordship the following interruption: "Excuse me, sir, but throughout the con- flict and turmoil engendered by this desperate dispute with the pursuer I presume the British Empire is not in any danger? " — "No,my lord," came the reply, "but I fear after that interrogation from your lordship my client's case is?" On one occasion the sheriff, becoming impatient with an agent's protracted speech, rebuked him thus: "Be brief, be brief, my dear sir; time is short and eter- nity is long!" And again on being asked by an agent not to allow a witty old Irishman to act as the spokes- man of "the defendant" on the ground that the Irish- man was not now in the defendant's employment, the . sheriff sternly said to the would-be witness: "Now, 208 Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® ANDREW CROSBIE, ADVOCATE, "PleydeU." Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® SHERIFF BALFOUR answer me truthfully, mirthful Michael, are you or are you not in the defendant's employment?" — "Well,my lord of lords," was the reply, "that is to say, in the learned phraseology of the law, pro tent I am and ultimo and proximo I amn't." Two stories are told of the late Sheriff Balfour. His lordship was addressing a prisoner at unusual length, when he was interrupted more than once by a sotto voce observation from his then clerk, who was very impatient when the luncheon hour drew near. Accus- tomed to this interruption, the sheriff, as a rule, took no notice of them. On this occasion, however, he threw down his quill with a show of annoyance, leaned back in his chair, and addressed the interrupter thus: "I say,Mr. , are you, or am I, sheriff here?" Prompt- ly came the unabashed reply: "You, of course; but your lordship knows that this woman has been fre- quently here," meaning that it was idle to address words of counsel to theprisoner. On another occasion, the sheriff was pulled up by a male prisoner, who took exception to his version of the story of the crime, and concluded: "So you see I've got your lordship there." — "Have you? " was the sheriff's rejoinder. "No, but I've got you — three months hard." A law agent was talking at length against an opinion which Sheriff Balfour had already indicated. 209 O Digitized by Microsoft® ADVOCATES OF SCOTLAND Twice the sheriff essayed in vain to stay the torrent that was flowing uselessly past the mill. At last, in a more decided tone, he asked the agent to allow him justoneword,afterwhich he would engage not to inter- rupt him again. "Certainly, milord," said the agent. "Decree," said the sheriff. Counsel who are briefless and who spend much time in perambulating the floor of Parliament Hall should be as careful in their dress as their more fortun- ate neighbours who jostle each other in the lobbies as they rush from one Court to another. A company of Americans visiting the Courts one day made a casual inquiry of one of the advocates "in waiting," who politely offered to show them all that is to be seen. As they were leaving, one of the party caught hold of a passingsolicitor andafter apologising forstopping him inquired: "This — this — this gentleman hasbeen very good in showing us over your beautiful place. Would it be correct to give him something?" — "Yes, certain- ly," said the busy practitioner, "and it will be the first fee he has earned, to my knowledge, for the last ten years." An advocate of the present day, in trying to induce the Second Division of the Court of Session to re- verse a decision pronounced in Glasgow Sheriff Court somewhat startled the Bench by reminding them that 210 Digitized by Microsoft® LORD MONCREIFF their lordships were only mortal after all. "Are you quite sure of that?" asked the presiding judge. Coun- sel judiciously refrained from replying to this poser. The incident recalls an occasion in the Second Divi- sion when it was presided over by Lord Justice- Clerk Moncreiff. A junior counsel was debating a case in the division, and, apparently finding he was not making much headway,invited their lordships to imag- ine for the moment that they were navvies, and to look at the question from the point of view of the worker. In stately tones the Lord Justice-Clerk informed the audacious junior that his invitation was unsuited to the dignity of the Court. A learned counsel at the Bar prided himself on the juvenility ofhis appearance, and boasted that he looked twenty years younger than he was. He was cross-ex- amining a very prepossessing and uncommonly self- possessed young woman as to the age of a person whom she knew quite well, but could get no satisfact- ory answer. "Well," he persisted, "but surely you must have been able to make a good guess at his age, having seen him often." — "People don't always look their age." — "No, but you can surely form a good idea from their looks. Now,how old should you say I am?" "You might be sixty by your looks, but judging by the questions you ask I should say about sixteen!" 211 Digitized by Microsoft® ADVOCATES OF SCOTLAND Much amusement is afforded by the answers given by witnesses to judges and counsel. They form the theme of legions of stories, arid we append a selection to this chapter of legal wit of the Bar. An Irishman before Lord Ardwall was giving evid- ence on the .question whether having lived eleven years in Glasgow he was a domiciled Scotsman. He swore that he was, and as a question of succession de- pended upon the domicile the point was of importance. The opposing counsel thought he had him cornered when on the list of voters for an Irish constituency he found the witness's name. But Pat was equal to the occasion. "It's a safe sate," he said; "they never revise the lists," and by way of clinching the argument, he added: "Shure there's men in Oireland who have been in their graves for twenty years who voted at the last election." Legal gentlemen sometimes resort to methods not quite in accordance with usual practice toelicit inform- ation from stubborn witnesses. In Glasgow Sheriff Court one day a somewhat long and involved question was addressed by the cross-examining agent to a wit- ness who, from his stout build and imperturbable manner, looked the embodiment of Scottish caution. Thewitness, who was not to be so easily "had,"having regarded his questioner with a steady gaze for the space of almost a minute, at last broke silence: "Would 212 Digitized by Microsoft® PERTH SHERIFF COURT you mind, sir," said he, "just repeating that question, and splitting it into bits?" And after the Court had re- gained its composure the discomfited agent humbly proceeded to subdivide the question. In the old days when Highlanders "kist oot" (quarrelled) they resorted to the claymore, but the hereditary fighting spirit appears nowadays in an ap- peal to the law. Perth Sheriff Courts witness many a "bout" between the stalwarts, who are not amiss to clash all round if need be. "You must have been in very questionable company at the show?" inquired a sheriff of a farmer. "Weel, ma lord — you wis the last gentleman I spoke to that day as I was coming oot!" was his reply. The pointed insinuation to another witness in a claim case at the same Court. "I think I have seen you here rather often of late," drew the reply, "Nae doot, if a'm no takin' onybody here — then it's them that's takin'me!" Quite recently an old farmer in Perthshire, who had been rather severely cross-examined by the opposing counsel, had his sweet revenge when the sheriff, com- menting on the case, inquired: "There seems to be a great deal of dram-dramming at C on Tuesdays, I imagine?" — ' 'Aye, whiles, " was the canny reply — and immediately following it up, as he pointed across at 213 Digitized by Microsoft® ADVOCATES OF SCOTLAND the rival lawyer, he continued — "an' that nicker ower there can tak' a bit dram wi' the best o' them!" A young advocate, as junior in a licensing club case, had to cross-examine the certifyingjustice ofthePeace who was very diflfuse and ratherevasive in his answers. "Speak a little more simply and to the point, please," said counsel mildly. "You are a little ambiguous, you know." — "I am not, sir," replied the witness indign- antly; "I have been teetotal for a year." It is a fact well known to lawyers that it is a risky thing to call witnesses to character unless you know exactly beforehand what they are going to say. Here is an instance in point. "You say you have known the prisoner all your life?" said the counsel. "Yes, sir," was the reply. "Now," was the next question, "in your opinion is he a man who is likely to have been guilty of stealing this money?" — "Well," said the witness thoughtfully, "how much was it?" In a County Sheriff Court his lordship addressed a witness: "You said you drove a milk-cart, didn't you?" "No, sir, I didn't." — "Don't you drive a milk-cart?" "No,sir." — "Ah! then what do you do,sir?" — "Idrive a horse." A well-known lawyer not now in practice, who had risen from humble parentage to be Procurator Fiscal of his county, once got a sharp retort from a witness in Court. It was a case of law-burrows — well known 214 Digitized by Microsoft® COURT CRIER in Scotland — which requires a person to give security against doing violence to another. A lady had assault- ed a priest who in the discharge of his duty had been visiting her husband — a member of his flock. The lady was herself a Protestant, and suspected the rev- erend gentleman of designs on her husband's proper- ty for behoof of his Church. The witness in the box was prepared on every point, and the following dia- logue ensued — P.F.: "Who was your father?" Lady: "My father was a gentleman." P.F.: "Yes, but who was he?" Lady: "He was a good man and much re- spected) although he didn't make such a noise in the world as yours." The P.F.'s father had been the town crier. Perhaps it was to the same lawyer who asked the question of a labouring man: "Are you the husband of the previous witness?" and got the answer: "I dinna ken onything aboot the previous witness, but if it was Mrs. , a'm her man." The macer who calls the cases coming before the judges in Court was in older days an interesting per- sonality. Lord Cock burn recalls the time when this duty was performed by the "crier" putting his head out of a small window high up in thewallofthe Parlia- ment House and shouting down to the counsel and ag- ents assembled below him. Now it is performed from 215 Digitized by Microsoft® ADVOCATES OF SCOTLAND a raised dais on the floor of the hall, and it is no joke when the macer has to call in stentorian tones such a caseas"DampskibsselskabetDanmaryz'. John Smith." Learned members of theFacultyapproach such a diflS- culty otherwise. During "motions" one day an astute counsel said, "In number 1 1 of your lordship's roll." "What did you call it?" inquired the judge. "I called it number 1 1," naively replied counsel. The case was "Fiskiveidschlutafjelagid Island v. Standard Fishing Company." The administration of the oath in Courts of Justice is apt to become perfunctory, and some sheriffs shorten the formula, so that it is administered somewhat after this fashion: "I swearbalmitygod, that I will tell the truth, the wholetruth, anothingbuthetruth." There is one sheriff more punctilious, and recently he admin- istered the oath to a female witness, making her recite it in sections after him. "I swear by Almighty God" (pause). Witness: "I swear by Almighty God." — "As I shall answer to God." Witness: "As I shall answer to God." — "At the Great Day of Judgment." The wit- ness stumbled over this clause, and the sherifiF had to repeat it twice. As she ran more glibly over the con- cluding words, the sheriff remarked: "It's extraordin- ary how many people come) to this Court who seem never to have heard of that great occasion." 216 Digitized by Microsoft® TAKING THE OATH This is what took place in a GlasgowCourt. Sheriff: "Repeat this after me, 'I swear by Almighty God.'" Witness: "I swear by Almighty God." Sheriff: "I will tell the truth." Witness: "I will tell the truth." Sheriff: "The whole truth." Witness: "I HOPE so!" In Edinburgh Sheriff Small Debt Court the oath was administered to a witness who was dull of hearing. "I swear by Almighty God," said the sheriff. The wit- ness put his hollowed hand to his ear and asked: "Wha dae ye sweer by? " Many Court reporters have heard a witness swear to tell "the truth, the whole truth, and anything but the truth"; and one old lady (mistaking certain words recited by the judge) affirmed her determination to tell the truth"with a great deal of judgment." As we indicated at the beginning of this volume, stories of wit and humour from the ranks of agents in the legal profession are much rarer thanin thoseof the Bench and;the Bar. From the Court of Session Gar- landvie quote the following relating to a worthy pract- itioner in the days when Councillor Pleydell played "high jinks" in his favourite tavern. In old times some stray agents in Scotland might be found who were not particularlydistinguished for pro- fessional attainments, and who sometimes could not 217 Digitized by Microsoft® ADVOCATES OF SCOTLAND "draw" a paper as it is termed. One of these worthies was impressed with the idea that his powers were equal to the preparation of a petition for the appoint- ment of a factor. His clerk was summoned, pens, ink, and paper placed before him, and the process of dict- ation commenced: "Unto the Right Honourable." "Right Honourable," echoed the clerk. "The Lords of Council and Session." — "Session," continued the scribe — "the Petition of Alexander Macdonald, tenant in Skye — Skye — humbly sheweth — sheweth." "Stop, John, read what I've said." — "Yes, sir. 'Unto the Right Honourable the Lords of Council and Session the Petition of Alexander Macdonald, tenant in Skye, humbly sheweth.'" — "Very well, John, very well. Where did you stop? " — "Humbly sheweth — that the petitioner — petitioner" — here a pause for a minute — "that the petitioner. It's down, sir." Here the master got up, walked about the room, scratched his head, took snufF, but in vain; the inspiration had fled with the mysterious word "petitioner." The clerk looked up somewhat amazed that his master had got that length, and at last ventured to suggest that the diffi- culty might be got over. "How, John?" exclaimed his master. "As you have done the most important part, what wouldyou say,sir, to send the paper to be finished by Mr. M with a guinea?" — "The very thing, John, tak' the paper to Mr. M , and as we've done the 218 Digitized by Microsoft® JOSEPH GILLON maist fickle pairt of the work he's deevilish weel aff wi' a guinea." We are indebted to the author of that capital collec- tion of Scottish anecdote, Thistledown, for the follow- ing story, as illustrating one of the many humorous attempts to get the better of the law, and one in which the lawyer was "hoist with his own petard." A dealer having hired a horse to a lawyer, the latter, either through bad usage or by accident, killed the beast, upon which the hirer insisted upon payment of its value; and if it was not convenient to pay costs, he expressed his wiUingness to accept a bill. The lawyer offered no objection, but said he must have a long date. The hirer desired him to fix his own time, whereupon the writer drew a promissory note, making it payable at the day of judgment. An action ensued, when in defence, the lawyer asked the judge to look at the bill. Having done so, the judge replied: "The bill is per- fectly good, sir; and as this is the day of judgment, I decree that you pay to-morrow," Joseph Gillon was a well-known Writer to the Sig- net early in the nineteenth century. Calling on him at his office one day. Sir Walter Scott said, "Why, Jo- seph, this place is as hot as an oven." — "Well," quoth Gillon, "and isn't it here that I make my bread? " A celebrated Scottish preacher and pastor was visit- ing the house of a solicitor who was one of his flock, 219 Digitized by Microsoft® ADVOCATES OF SCOTLAND but had a reputation of indulging in sharp practice. The minister was surprised to meet there two other members of his flock whose relations with the solicitor were not at the time known to be friendly or otherwise. In course of conversation the solicitor, alludingtosome disputed point, appealed to the minister: "Doctor, these are members of your flock; may I ask whether you look on them as black or as white sheep?" — "I don't know," answered the minister, "whether they are black or white sheep; but this I know, that if they are long here they are pretty sure to hefieeced." Apropos of this story is the one of a Scottish coun- trywoman who applied to a respectable solicitor for advice. After detailing all the circumstances of the case, she was asked if she had stated the facts exactly as they had occurred. "Ou ay, sir," rejoined the applic- ant; "I thought it best to tell you the plain truth; you can put the lees till't yoursel'." The Lawyer's Toast At a dinner of a Scots Law Society, the president called upon an old solicitor present to give as a toast the person whom he considered the best friend of the profession. "Then," said the gentleman very slyly, "I'll give you 'The Man who makes his own will.'" Digitized by Microsoft® CHAPTER SEVEN THE AMERICAN BENCH &> BAR Digitized by Microsoft® " Going tew law is like skinning a new milch cow for the hide and giving the meat tew the lawyers." Josh Billings. " Oh, sir, you understand a conscience, but not law." Massingbr: The Old Law. Digitized by Microsoft® CHAPTER SEVEN THE AMERICAN BENCH & BAR THE REV. H. R. HAWEIS HAS DEFINED "HU- mour as the electric atmosphere, wit as the flash. A situation provides atmospheric humour, and with the culminating point of it comes the flash." This de- finition is peculiarly applicable to the humour of the Bench and Bar when the situation invariably provides the atmosphere for the wit. Not less so is this the case in American Courts than in British. Before Chief Justice Parsons was raised to the Bench, and when he was the leading lawyer of America, a client wrote, stat- ing a case, requesting his opinion upon it, and enclos- ing twenty dollars. After the lapse of some time, re- ceiving no answer, he wrote a second letter, informing him of his first communication. Parsons replied that he had received both letters, had examined the case and formed his opinion, but somehow orother"it stuck in his throat." The client understood this hint, sent him one hundred dollars, and received the opinion. He was engaged in a heavy case which gave rise to many encounters between himself and the opposing counsel, Mr. Sullivan. During Parson's speech Sulli- van picked up Parson's large black hat and wrote with a piece of chalk upon it: "This is the hat of a d — d rascal." The lawyers sitting round began to titter, which called attention to the hat, and the inscription soon caught the eye of Parsons, who at once said: 223 Digitized by Microsoft® AMERICAN BENCH &> BAR "May it please your honour, I crave the protection of the Court, Brother Sullivan has been stealing my hat and writing his own name upon it." Parsons was considered a strong judge, and some- what overbearing in his attitude towards counsel. One day he stopped Dexter, an eminent advocate, in the middle of his address to the jury, on the ground that he was urging a point unsupported by any evid- ence. Dexter hastily observed, "Your honour, did you argue your own cases in the way you require us to do?" — "Certainly not," retorted the judge; "but that was the judge's fault, not mine." Patrick Henry, "the forest-born Demosthenes," as Lord Byron called him, was defending an army com- missary, who, during the distress of the American army in 1781, had seized some bullocks belonging to John Hook, a wealthy Scottish' settler. The seizure was not quite legal, but Henry, defending, painted the hardships the patriotic army had to endure. "Where was the man," he said, "who had an American heart in his bosom who would not have thrown open his fields, his barbs, his cellars, the doors of his house, the portals of his breast, to have received with open arms the meanest soldier in that little band of famish- ed patriots? Where is the man? There he stands; and whether the heart of an American beats in his bosom, you gentlemen are to judge." He then painted the 224 Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® THEOPHILUS PARSONS, CHIKF JUSTICE OF THE SUPREME COURT OF MASSACHUSETTS. Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® PATRICK HENRY surrender of the British troops, their humiliation and dejection, the triumph of the patriot band, the shouts of victory, the cry of "Washington and liberty," as it rang and echoed through the American ranks, and was reverberated from vale to hill, and then to heaven. "But hark! What notes of discord are these which dis- turb the general joy and silence, the acclamations of victory; they are the notes oi John Hook, hoarsely bawling through the American camp — 'Beef! beef! beef!'" It is sometimes imagined that eloquent oratory is everything required of a good advocate, and certainly this idea must have been uppermost in the minds of the young American counsel who figure in the follow- ing stories. A Connecticut lawyer had addressed a long and impressive speech to a jury, of which this was his peroration: "And now the shades of night had wrapped the earth in darkness. All nature lay clothed in solemn thought, when the defendant ruf- fians came rushing like a mighty torrent from the mountains down upon the abodes of peace, broke open the plaintiff's house, separated the weeping mother from the screeching infant, and carried off — my client's rifle, gentlemen of the jury, for which we claim fifteen dollars." There was good excuse for adopting the "high-fa- 225 P Digitized by Microsoft® AMERICAN BENCH &> BAR lutin" tone in the second instance, that it was the law- yer's first appearance. He was panting fordistinction, and determined to convince theCourt and jury that he was "born to shine." Soheopened: "May it please the Court and gentlemen of the jury — while Europe is bathed in blood, while classic Greece is struggling for her rights and liberties, and trampling the unhallowed altars of the bearded infidels to dust, while the chosen few of degenerate Italy are waving their burnished swords in the sunlight of liberty, while America shines forth the brightest orb in the political sky — I, I, with due diffidence, rise to defend the cause of this humble hog thief." And this extract from a barrister's address "out West,"some fiftyyears ago, surely could not fail to in- fluence the jury in his client's behalf. "The law ex- pressly declares, gentlemen, in the beautiful language of Shakespeare, that where a doubt of the prisoner exists, it is your duty to fetch him in innocent. If you keep this fact in view, in the case of my client, gentle- men, you will have the honour of making a friend of him and all his relations, and you can alius look upon this occasion and reflect with pleasure that you have done as you would be done by. But if, on the other hand, you disregard the principles of law and bring him in guilty, the silent twitches of conscience will fol- low you all over every fair cornfield, I reckon, and my 226 Digitized by Microsoft® DANIEL WEBSTER injured and down-trodden client will be apt to light on you one of these dark nights as my cat lights on a sau- cerful of new milk." In a rural Justice Court in one of the Southern States the defendant in a case was sentenced to serve thirty days in jail. He had known the judge from boy- hood, and addressed him as follows: "Bill, old boy, you're gwine to send me ter jail, air you?" — "That's so," replied the judge; "have you got anything to say agin it?" — "Only this. Bill: God help you when I git out." Daniel Websterwas a clever and successful lawyer, who was engaged in manyimportant causes in his day. In a case in one of theVirginian Courts he had for his opponent William Wirt, the biographer of Patrick Henry, a work which was criticised as a brilliant rom- ance. In the progress of the case Webster brought forward a highlyrespectable witness, whose testimony (unless disproved or impeached) settled the case, and annihilated Wirt's client. After getting through his testimony, Webster informed hisopponent,withasign- ificant expression, that he had now closed his evid- ence,and his witness was at Wirt's service. The coun- sel for defence rose to cross-examine, but seemed for a moment quite perplexed how to proceed, but quickly assuming a manner expressive of his incredulity as to 327 Digitized by Microsoft® AMERICAN BENCH ^ BAR the facts elicited, and coolly eyeing the witness, said: "Mr. , allow me to ask you whether you have ever read a work called Baron Munchausen?" Before the witness had time to answer, Webster rose and said, "I beg your pardon, Mr. Wirt, for the interruption, but there was one question I forgot to ask my wit- ness, and if you will allow me that favour I promise not to interrupt you again." Mr. Wirt in the blandest manner replied, "Yes, most certainly"; when Web- ster in the most deliberate and solemn manner, said, "Sir, have you ever read Wirt's Life of Patrick Henry?" The effect was so irresistible that even the judge could not control his rigid features. Wirt him- self joined in the momentary laugh, and turning to Webster said: "Suppose we submit this case to jury without summing up"; which was assented to,and Mr. Webster's client won the case. In the year 1785 an Indian murdered a Mr. Evans at Pittsburg. When, after a confinement of several months,his trial was to be brought on, the chiefs of his nation were invited to be present at the proceedings and see how the trial would be conducted, as well as to speak in behalf of the accused, if they chose. These chiefs, however, instead of going as wished for,sent to the civil officers of that place the following laconic an- swer: "Brethren! you inform us that , who mur- 228 Digitized by Microsoft® JUDGE EMORY SPEER dered one of your men at Pittsburg, is shortly to be tried by the laws of your country, at which trial you request that some of us may be present. Brethren! knowing to have been always a very bad man,we do not wish to see him. We therefore advise you to try him by your laws, and to hang him, so that he may never return to us again." There are many stories of the smart repartee of white and coloured witnesses and prisoners appearing before American judges, but the most of them bear such strong evidence of newspaper staff manufacture as to be unworthy of more permanent record than the weekly "fill up" they were designed for. Of the more reputable we select a few. Judge Emory Speer, of the southern district of Georgia, had before his Court a typical charge of illicit distilling. "What's your name? " demanded the eminent judge. "Joshua,jedge,"drawled the prisoner. "Joshua who made the sun stand still?" smiled the judge,inamusementatthelaconicanswer. "No,sir. Jo- shua who jnade the moon shine," answered the quick- witted mountaineer. And it is needless to say that Judge Speer made the sentence as light as he possibly could, saying to his friends in telling the story that wit like that deserved some recompense. A newly qualified judge in Tennessee was trying 229 Digitized by Microsoft® AMERICAN BENCH &> BAR his first criminal case. The accused was an old negro charged with robbing a hen-coop. He had been in Court before on a similar charge, and was then acquit- ted. "Well, Tom," began the judge, "I see you're in trouble again." — "Yes, sah," replied the negro. "The last time, jedge, you was ma lawyer." — "Where is your lawyer this time?" asked the judge. "I ain't got no lawyer this time," answered Tom. "I'm going to tell the truth." Judge M. W. Pinckney tells the story of a coloured man, Sam Jones by name, who was on trial at Dawson City, for felony. The j udge asked Sam if he desired the appointment of a lawyer to defend him. "No, sah," Sam replied, "I'se gwine to throw myself on the ignor- ance of the cote." A Southern lawyer tells of a case that came to him at the outset of his career, wherein his principal wit- ness was a negro named Jackson, supposed to have knowledge of certain transactions not at all to the credit of his employer, the defendant. "Now, Jackson," said the lawyer,"! want you to understand the import- ance of telling the truth when you are put on the stand. You know what will happen, don't you, if you don't tell the truth?" — "Yessir," was Jackson's reply; "indat case I expects our side will win de case." When Senator Taylor was Governor of Tennessee, he issued a great many pardons to men and women 230 Digitized by Microsoft® SENATOR TAYLOR confined in penitentiaries or jails in that State. His reputation as a "pardoning Governor" resulted in his being besieged by everybody who had a relative incar- cerated. One morning an old negro woman made her way into the executive offices and asked Taylor to par- don her husband, who was in jail. "What's he in for?" asked the Governor. "Fo' nothin' but stealin' a ham," explained the wife. "You don't want me to pardon him," argued the Governor. "If he got out he would only make trouble for you again." — "'Deed I does want him out ob dat place!" she objected. "I needs dat man." — "Why do you need him?" inquired Tay- lor, patiently. "Me an' dechillun," she said, seriously, "needs another ham." Etiquette in the matter of dress was, in early days, of little or no consequence with American lawyers, especially in the Southern States. In South Carolina this neglect of the rigid observance of English rules on the part of Mr. Petigru, a well-known barrister, gave rise to the following passage between the Bench and the Bar. "Mr. Petigru," said the judge, "you have on a light coat. You can't speak." "May it please the Bench," said the barrister, "I conform strictly to the law. Let me illustrate. The law says the barrister shall wear a black gown and 231 Digitized by Microsoft® AMERICAN BENCH ^f BAR coat, and your honour thinks that means a black coat?" "Yes," said the judge, "Well, the law also says the sheriff shall wear a cocked hat and sword. Does your honour hold that the sword must be cocked as well as the hat?" He was permitted to go on. In the United States, as elsewhere, the averagejury- man is not very well versed in the fine distinctions of the law. On these it is the judge's duty to instruct him. What guidance the jury got from the explanation of what constitutes murder is not quite clear to the lay mind, however satisfactory it may have appeared to the judge. "Gentlemen," he stated, with admirable lucidity, "murder is where a man is murderously killed. The killer in such a case is a murderer. Now, murder by poison is just as much murder as murder with a gun, pistol, or knife. It is the simple act of murdering that constitutes murder in the eye of the law. Don't let the idea of murder and manslaughter confound you. Mur- der is one thing; manslaughter is quite another. Con- sequently, if there has been a murder, and it is not manslaughter, then it must be murder. Don't let this point escape you." "Self-murder has nothing to do with this case. Ac- 232 Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® RUFUS CHDATH, LEADER OF THE MASSACHUSETTS BAR, Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® SHERIFF'S DUTIES cording toBlackstone and other legal writers, one man cannot zora.'oxA felo-de-se upon another; and this is my opinion. Gentlemen, murder is murder. The murder of a brother is called fratricide; the murder of a father is called parricide, but that don't enter into this case. As I have said before, murder is emphatically murder." "You will consider your verdict, gentlemen, and make upyour minds according to the lawand theevid- ence, not forgetting the explanation I have given you." There is a delightful frankness about the address submitted to the electors by a candidate who solicited their support for the position of sheriff in one of the provinces of the United States, but its honesty can- not be questioned: "Gentlemen, I offer myself a candidate for sheriff; I have been a revolutionary ofificer; fought many bloody battles, suffered hunger, toil, heat; got honourable scars, but little pay. I will tell you plainly how I shall discharge my duty should I be so happy as to obtain a majority of your suffrages. If writs are put into my hands against any of you, I will take you if I can, and, unless you can get bail, I will deliver you over to the keeper of the gaol. Secondly, if judgments are found against you, and executions directed to me, I will sell your property as the law directs, without favour or af- fection; if there be any surplus money, I will punct- 233 Digitized by Microsoft® AMERICAN BENCH &> BAR ually remit it. Thirdly, if any of you should commit a crime (which God forbid!) that requires capital punish- ment, according to law, I will hang you up by the neck till you are dead." Rufus Choate was designated tAe leader of the Mas- sachusett's Bar — a distinctive title which long out- lived him and marked the sense of esteem in which he was held by his brother lawyers, as well as indicating his outstanding ability and success. In 1 84 1 a divorce case was tried in America, and a youngwomannamedAbigail Bell was the chief witness of the adultery of the wife. Sumner, for the defence, cross-examined Abigail. "Are you married?" — "No." —"Any children?"— "No."— "Have you a child?" Here there was a long pause, and then at last the wit- ness feebly replied, "Yes." Sumner sat down with an air of triumph. Rufus Choate was advocate for the husband, who claimed the divorce, and after enlarging on other things, said, "Gentlemen, Abigail Bell's evid- ence is before you." Raising himself proudly, he con- tinued, "I solemnly assert there is not the shadow of a shade of doubt or suspicion on that evidence or on her character." Everybody looked surprised, and he went on: "What though in an unguarded moment she may have trusted too much to the young man to whom she had pledged her untried affections; to whom she 234 Digitized by Microsoft® RUFUS CHOATE was to be wedded on the next Lord's Day; and who was suddenly struck dead at her feet by a stroke of lightning out of the heavens!" This was delivered with such tragic effect that Choate, majestically pausing, saw the jury had taken the cue, and he went on tri- umphantly to the end. He afterwards told his friends that he had a right to make any supposition consistent with the witness's innocence. A cHent went to consult him as to the proper re- dress for an intolerable insult and wrong he had just suffered. He had been in a dispute with a waiter at the hotel, who in a paroxysm of rage and contempt told the client "to go to ." "Now," said the client, "I ask you, Mr. Choate, as one learned in the law, and as my legal adviser, what course under these circum- stances I ought to take to punish this outrageous in- sult." Choate looked grave, and told the client to re- peat slowly all the incidents preceding this outburst, telling him to be careful not to omit anything, and when this was done Choate stood for a while as if in deep thought and revolving an abstruse subject; he then gravely said: "I have been running over in my head all the statutes of the United States, and all the statutes of the commonwealth of Massachusetts, and all the decisions of all the judges in our Courts therein, and I may say that I am thoroughlysatisfied that there is nothing in any of them that will require you to go 23s Digitized by Microsoft® AMERICAN BENCH &> BAR to the place you have mentioned. And if you will take my advice then I say decidedly — dotit go!' Choate defended a blacksmith whose creditor had seized some iron that a friend had lent him to assist in the business after a bankruptcy. The seizure of the iron was said to have been made harshly. Choate thus described it: "He arrested the arm of industry as it fell towards the anvil; he put out the breath of his bellows; he extinguished the fire upon his hearth- stone. Like pirates in a gale at sea, his enemies swept everytjiing by the board, leaving, gentlemen of the jury, not so much — not so much as a horseshoe to nail upon the doorpost to keep the witchesoff." The black- smith, sitting behind, was seen to have tears in his eyes at this description, and a friend noticing it, said, "Why, Tom, what's the matter with you? What are you blubbering about?" — "I had no idea," said Tom in a whisper, "that I had been so abominably ab-ab- bused." A veteran member of the Baltimore Bar tells of an amusing cross-examination in a Court of that city. The witness seemed disposed to dodge the questions of counsel for the defence. "Sir," admonished the counsel sternly, "you need not tell us your impres- sions. We want facts. We are quite competent to form our own impressions. Now, sir, answer me categoric-, 236 Digitized by Microsoft® BALTIMORE WITNESS ally." From that time on he got little more than "yes" and "no" from the witness. Presently counsel asked: "You say that you live next door to the defendant." — "Yes."— "To the south of him?"— "No."— "To the north?"— "No."— "Well,totheeastthen?"— "No."— "Ah," exclaimed the counsel sarcastically, "we are likely now to get down to the one real fact. You live to the west of him, do you not?" — "No." — "How is that, sir?" the astounded counsel asked. "You say you live next door to the defendant, yet he lives neither north, south, east, or west of you. What do you mean by that, sir?" Whereupon the witness "came back." "I thought perhaps you were competent to form the im- pression that we livedinaflat,"saidthewitnesscalmly; "but I see I must inform you that he lives next door above me." In the Supreme Court of the United States the Pre- sident interrupted counsel in the course of a long speech by saying: "Mr. Jones, you must give this Court credit for knowing something." — "That's all very well," replied the advocate (who came from a Western State),"but that's exactly the mistake I made in the Court below." In a suit for damages against a grasping railway corporation for killing a cow, the attorney for the plaintiff, addressing the twelve Arkansas good men and true who were sitting in judgment, and on their 237 Digitized by Microsoft® AMERICAN BENCH &> BAR respective shoulder-blades, said: "Gentlemen of the jury, if the train had been running as slow as it should have been ran, if the bell had been rung as it 'ort to have been rang, or the whistle had been blown as it 'ort to have been blew, none of which was did, the cow would not have been injured when she was killed." Although not strictly a story of either the Bench or the Bar of America,it is so pertinent to the latter that we cannot omit the following told by the Scottish clergyman, the late Dr. Gillespie of Mouswold, in his amusing collection of anecdotes. A young American lady was his guest at the manse while a young Scottish advocate was spending a holi- day in the neighbourhood. He was invited to dine at the manse, and took the young lady in to dinner, and keptteasingher in a lively ,good-naturedmannerabout American people and institutions, while it may be guessed his neighbour held her own,as most American girls are well able to do. At length the advocate asked, "Miss , have you any lawyers in America?" She knowing what profession he belonged to replied quick as thought, "Oh yes, Mr. , lots of lawyers. I've a brother a lawyer. Whenever we've a member of a family a bigger liar than another, we make him a lawyer." A quaint decision was given by Judge Kimmel, of 238 Digitized by Microsoft® JUDGE KIMMEL the Supreme Court at St. Louis, in an application for divorce by Mrs. Quan. The judge directed Patrick J. Egan, a policeman, to supervise the domestic affairs of the couple, and to visit their home daily for thirty days. After questioning the wife closely on her atti- tude towards her husband and his treatment of her, Egan wrote down for the wife's guidance a long array of precepts. Among these were the following: "Don't remonstrate with your husband when he has been drinking. Wait until next morning. Then give him a cup of coffee for his headache. Afterwards lead him into the parlour, put your arms about him, and give him a lecture. It will have more weight with him than any number of quarrels. "If he has to drink, let him have it at home. "Avoid mothers-in-law. Don't let them live with you or interfere in your affairs. "If you must have your own way, do not let your husband know you are trying to boss him. Have your own way by letting him think he is having his. "Dress to suit your husband's taste and income. Husbands usually don't like their wives to wear tight dresses. Consult him on these matters. "Don't be jealous or give your husband cause for jealousy. "When your husband is in a bad humour, be in a good humour. It may be difificult, but it will pay." 239 Digitized by Microsoft® AMERICAN BENCH &> BAR The policeman-philosopher's precepts were duly printed, framed, and placed against the wall of the family sitting-room. After paying only fifteen of the thirty visits to the house directed by the judge, the results could not have been more gratifying. Mr. and Mrs. Quan were delighted, and presented the guide to mar- tial bliss with a handsome token of their gratitude in the form of a gold watch. Many of the droll sayings of the American Bench of past years are attributable to thefact thatthe judges were appointed by popular vote, and the successful candidate was not always a man of high attainments in the practice of his profession at the Bar, or of pro- found learning in the laws of his country. Too often he was a man of no better education than the mass of litigants upon whose causes he was called to adjudi- cate. For instance, a Kentuckian judge cut short a tedious and long-winded counsel by suddenly break- ing into his speech with : "If the Court is right, and she thinks she air, why, then, you are wrong, and you knows you is. Shut up!" "What are you reading from?" demanded Judge Dowling, who had in his earlier life been a fireman and later a police officer. "From the statutes of 1876, your honour," was the reply. "Well, you needn't read any more," retorted the judge; "I'm judge in this Court, and my statutes are good enough law for anybody." 240 Digitized by Microsoft® JUDGE RODGERS A codified law and precedent cases were of no account to this "equity" judge. But these are mild instances of the methods of early American judges compared with the summing up of Judge Rodgers — Old Kye, as he was called — in an action for wrongful dismissal brought before him by an overseer. "The jury," said his honour, "will take noticethatthis Court is well acquainted with the nature of the case. When this Court first started in the world it followed the business of overseering, and if there is a business which this Court understands, it's bosses, mules, and niggers; though this Court never overseed in its life for less than eight hundred dollars. And this Court in hoss-racing was always naterally gifted; and this Court in running a quarter race whar the bosses was turned could allers turn a boss so as to gain fift- een feet in a race ; and on a certain occasion it was one of the conditions of the race that Kye Rodgers shouldn't turn narry of the bosses." Surely it must have been Old Kye who, upon taking his official seat for the first time, said: " If this Court know her duty, and she thinks she do, justice will walk over this track with her head and tail up." On a divorce case coming before a Western admin- istrator of the law, Judge A. Smith, he thus addressed the plaintiff's counsel, who was awaiting the arrival of 241 Q Digitized by Microsoft® AMERICAN BENCH &> BAR his opponent to open proceedings. "Idon't think people ought to be compelled to live together when they don't want to do so. I will decree a divorce in this case." Thereupon they were declared to be no longer manand wife. At this juncture the defendant's counsel entered the Court and expressed surprise that the judge had not at least heard one side of the case, much less both sides, and protested against such over-hasty proceed- ings. But to all his protestations the judge turned a deaf ear; only informing him that no objections could now be raised after decree had been pronounced. "But," he added, "if you want to argue the case 'right bad,' the Court will marry the couple again, and you can then have your say out." Breach of promise cases generally afford plenty of amusement to the public, both in the United States and Great Britain, but it is only in early American Courts that we hear of a judge adding to the hilarity by congratulating the successful party to the suit. A young American belle sued her faithless sweetheart, and claimed damages laid at one hundred dollars. The defendant pleaded that after an intimate acquaintance with the family, he found it was impossible to live comfortably with his intended mother-in-law, who was to take up residence with her daughter after the mar- riage, and he refused to fulfil his promise. "Would you rather live with your mother-in-law, or pay iwo 242 Digitized by Microsoft® JUDGE BELA BROWN hundred dollars?" inquired the judge. "Pay two hun- dred dollars," was the prompt reply. Said the judge: "Young man, let me shake hands with you. There was a time in my life when I was in the same situation as you are in now. Had I possessed your firmness, I should have been spared twenty-five years of trouble. I had the alternative of marrying or paying a hundred and twenty-five dollars. Being poor, I married; and for twenty-five years have I regretted it. I am happy to meet with a man of your stamp. The plaintiff" must pay ten dollarsand costs for having thought of putting a gentleman under the dominion of a mother-in-law." The charms of the female sex were more susceptible to the Iowa judge than to his brother of the former story. This worthy refused to fine a man for kissing a young lady against her will, because the complainant was so pretty that "nothing but the Court's over- whelming sense of dignity prevented the Court from kissing her itself." "A fellow-feeling makes one wondrous kind," wrote Garrick, and something of this nature must have act- uated Judge Bela Brown in a case in a Circuit Court of Georgia. Thejudgewasan able lawyer, and right good boon companion among his legal friends. The night before the Court opened he joined the Circuit barrist- ers at a tavern kept by one Sterrit, where the company 243 Digitized by Microsoft® AMERICAN BENCH &> BAR enjoyed themselves "not wisely, but too well." Next morning the judge was greatly perturbed to find a quantity of silver spoons inhis pocket, which had been placed there by a wag of the company as the judge left the tavern the night before. "Was I tipsy when I came home last night?" timidly asked the judge of his wife. "Yes," said she; "you know your habits when you get among your lawyer friends." — "Well," re- sponded the judge, "that fellow keeps the meanest liquor in the States; but I never thought it was so bad as to induce a man to steal." Before the close of the Court a man was arraigned for larceny, who pleaded guilty, but put forward the extenuating circumstance that he was drunk and didn't know what he was doing. "What is the nature of the charge," asked Judge Brown. "Stealing money from Sterrit's till," replied the clerk. "Are you sure you were tipsy when you took this money?" — "Yes, your honour; when I went outof doors the groundkept coming up and hitting me on the head." — "That will do. Did you get all your liquor at Sterrit's?" — "Every drop, sir." Turning to the prosecuting attorney the judge said, "You will do me the favour of entering a nolle prosequi; that liquor of Sterrit's I have reason to know is enough to make a man do anything dirty. I got tipsy on it myself the other night and stole all his spoons. If Sterrit will sell such abominable stuff he 244 Digitized by Microsoft® JUDGE COX ought not to have the protection of this Court — Mr. Sheriff, you may release the prisoner." The judge of a Court in Nevada dealt differently with a man who, charged with intoxication, thought to gain acquittal by a whimsical treatment of his oflFence. On being asked whether he was rightly or wrongly charged he pleaded, "Not guilty, your hon- our. Sunstroke!" — "Sunstroke?" queried Judge Cox. "Yes, sir; the regular New York variety." — "You've had sunstroke a good deal in your time, I believe? " — "Yes, your honour; but this last attack was most se- vere." — "Does sunstroke make you rush through the streets ofiFering to fightthe town? " — "That's theeffect precisely." — "And makes you throw brickbats at people?" — "That's it, judge. I see you understand the symptoms, and agree with the best recognised autho- rities, who hold it inflames the organs of combative- ness and destructiveness. When a man of my tem- perament gets a good square sunstroke he's liable to do almost anything." — "Yes; you are quite right — liable to go to jail for fifteen days. You'll go down with the policeman at once." With that observation the conversation naturally closed, and the victim of so- called sunstroke "went down." "Sheriff, remove the prisoner's hat," said a judge in the Court of Keatingville, Montana, when he noticed 245 Digitized by Microsoft® AMERICAN BENCH &' BAR that the culprit before him had neglected to do so. The sheriiF obeyed instructions by knocking ofif the hat with his rifle. The prisoner picked it up, and clapp- ing it on his head again, shouted, "I am bald, judge." Once more it was "removed" by the sheriff, while the indignant judge rose and said, "I fine you five dollars for contempt of Court — to be committed until the fine is paid." The offender approached the judge, and lay- ing down half a dollar remarked, "Your sentence, judge, is most ungentlemanly; but the law is impera- tive and I will have to stand it; so here is half a dollar, and the four dollars and a half you owed me when we stopped playing poker this morning makes us square." The card-playing administrator of law must have felt as small as his brother-judge who priced a cow at an Arkansas cattle-market. Seeing one that took his fancy he asked the farmer what he wanted for her. "Thirty dollars, and she'll give you five quarts of milk if you feed her well," said the farmer. "Why," quoth the judge, "I have cows not much more than half her size which give twenty quarts of milk a day." The farmer eyed the would-be purchaser of the cow very hard, as if trying to remember if he had met him before, and then inquired where he lived. "My home is in Iowa," replied the judge. "Yes, stranger, I don't dis- pute it. There were heaps of soldiers from Iowa down here during the war, and they were the worst liars in 246 Digitized by Microsoft® JUDGE RODGERS the whole Yankee army. Maybe you were an officer in one of themregiments." Then the judge returned to his Court duties. Judge Kiah Rodgers already figures in a story, and here we give his address to a delinquent when he presided at a Court in Louisiana. "Prisoner, stand up! Mr. Kettles, this Court is under the painful necessity of passing sentence of the law upon you. This Court has no doubt, Mr. Kettles, but what you were brought into this scrape by the use of intoxicating liquors. The friends of this Court all know that if there is any vice this Court abhors it is intoxication. When this Court was a young man, Mr. Kettles, it was considerably in- clined to drink, and the friends of this Court know that this Court has naterally a very high temper; and if this Court had not stopped short off, I have nodoubt, sir, but what this Court, sir, would have been in the penitentiary or in its grave." There was a strong sense of duty to humanity, as well as seeing justice carried out, in the Californian sheriff after an interview with a self-confessed mur- derer, who desired to be sent to New York to be tried, when he addressed the prisoner: "So your con- science ain't easy, and you want to be hanged?" said the sheriff. "Well, my friend, the county treasury ain't well fixed at present, and I don't want to take any 247 Digitized by Microsoft® AMERICAN BENCH &> BAR risks, in case you're not the man, and are just fishing for a free ride. Besides, those New York Courts can't be trusted to hang a man. As you say, you deserve to be killed, and your conscience won't be easy till you are killed, and as it can't make any difference to you or to society how you are killed, I guess I'll do the job myself!" and his hand moved to his pocket; but before he could pull out the revolver and level it at the mur- derer, that conscience-stricken individual was down the road and out of killing distance. Like the sailor who objected to his captain under- taking the double duty of flogging and preaching, prisoners do not appreciate the judge who delivers sentence upon them and at the same time admonishes them in a long speech. After being sentenced a Cali- fornian prisoner was thus reproached by a judge for his lack of ambition: "Where is it, sir? Where is it? Did you ever hear of Cicero taking free lunches? Did you ever hear that Plato gamboled through the alleys of Athens? Did you ever hear Demosthenes accused of sleeping under a coal-shed? If you would be a Plato, there would be a fire in your eye; your hair would have an intellectual cut; you'd step into a clean shirt; and you'd hire a mowing-machine to pare those finger-nails. You have got to go up for four months!" In conclusion we return to the jury-box of a New 248 Digitized by Microsoft® NEW YORK. COURT York Court for the story of a well-known character who frequently was called to act along with other good men andtrue. As soon as theyhad retired todeliberate on the evidence they had heard, he would button up his coat and "turn in" on a bench, exclaiming, "Gen- tlemen, I'm for bringing in a verdict for the plaintiff (or the defendant, as he had settled in his mind), and all Creation can't move me. Therefore as soon as you have all agreed with me, wake me up and we'll go in." Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® L'ENVOI "THE TASK IS ENDED, AND ASIDE WE FLING THE MUSTY BOOKS TIED UP WITH LEGAL STRING; AND SO GOOD NIGHT, SINCE WE OUR SAY HAVE SAID, SHUT UP THE VOLUME AND PROCEED TO BED; AND DREAM, DEAR READER, OF A FUTURE, WHEN A LAWYER MAY SHAKE HANDS WITH YOU AGAIN." Willock: Legal Facetia. Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® INDEX Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® INDEX Abbot, Mr. Justice, 43 Abinger, Lord, 35. 36, 42 Adam, H. L., 80, loi Adams, Serjeant, 85 Adolphus, John, 76 Alderson, Baron, 45 Alemoor, Lord, 156 Allen, Serjeant, 68 Alverstone, Lord, 62 Andrews, W., 26, 99 Anne, Queen, 107, 159 Archibald, Mr. Justice, 94 Ardwall, Lord, 193, 212 Amot, Hugo, 201, 203 Atkinson, Mrs., 90 Auchinleck, Lord, 155 Avonmore, Lord, 1 19-122, 131, 133 Avory, Lord, 62, 63 Bacon, Lord, 68 Bacon, Sir Nicholas, 5 Bacon, Vice-Chancellor, 38, 54 Baird, Mr., of Cambusdoon, 192 Baldwin, Mr., 83 Balfour, Sheriff, 209 Ballantine, Serjeant, 81, 88 Balmuto, Lord, 201 Bannatyne, Lord, 165 Barjarg, Lord, 1 56 Bell, Abigail, 234 Bethel, I. B., 136 Birrell, Augustine, 89 Blair, Lord President, 170 Blair, Thomas W., 159 Boswell, James, 155, 165 Bowen, Lord, S3, 54 Boyd, judge, 135 Boyle, Lord Justice-Clerk, 1751 _ Braxfield, Lord, 155, 182, 183, 200 Brocklesby, Dr., 15 Brougham, Lord, 1 7, 39-43. ' i/. 1 88, 205 Brown, Judge Bela, 243 255 Buchan, Earl of, 27, 202 BuUen, Edward, 85 Burrowes, Peter, 145 Burrows, Sir James, 9 Bushe, Charles K., 118, 122, 138 Butler, Sir Toby, 127 Byles, Mr. Justice, 49 Byron, Lord, 224 Campbell, Lord John, 13, 25, 34, 35, 41-44. 76, 86 Campbell, Lord President, 181 Carleton, Chief Justice, 112 Carleton, Lady, 112 Chambers, Montague, jy Charles II, 6, 68 Chelmsford, Lord, 46 - Chitty, Lord Justice, 38 Choate, Rufus, 234-236 Clare, Lord, 132 Clarke, George, minstrel, 97 Clarke, Thomas, 75, 76 Clonmel, Earl of, 109, no Coalston, Lord, 156 Cockburn, Lord, 171, 173, 174, 17s, 185-187,215 Cockburn, Sir Alexander, 46, 47, 55-57 Cockle, Seijeant, 100, lOi Coleridge, Lord, 51, 52 Collins', Stephen, Q.C., 140, 141 Colman, George, 79 Colquhoun, Sir James, 202 Connor, John, 143 Cooke, Tom, 36 Cottenham, Lord Chancellor, 42 Coutts, Thomas, 159 Covington, Lord, 155 Cox, Judge, 245 Crabtree, Jesse, 79 Cranworth, Lord, 35 Cringletie, Lord, 170 Crispe, Thomas E., 94 Crosbie, Andrew, 205 Digitized by Microsoft® INDEX Cunningham, Lord, 206 Curran, J. P., 109, 113, 120, 121, 127-134 Danckwerts, Mr., Q.C., 59 Darling, Mr. Justice, 3, 4, S^- 60 Davenport, Sir Thomas, 12 Davy, Serjeant, 70, 71 Deas, Lord, 177 Denman, Lord, 72, 73 Dewar, Lord, 51 Dirleton, Lord, 153 Douglas, Alexander, W.S., 188 Dowling, Judge, 240 Doyle, Mr., 121 Duke, Mr., K.C., 60 Dun, Lord, IS9 Dundas, Henry (Lord Melville), 157, 200 Robert, first Lord President, 156, 158 second Lord Presi- dent, 204 Dunning, Serjeant, 17, 73, 74 Egan, John, Q.C., 131, 1 34 Egerton, Master of Rolls, 6 Eldin, Lord, 164, 167-171 Eldon, Earl of, IO-I2, 17-19, 167, 171, 179 Elizabeth, Queen, 68 EUenborough, Lord, 20, 21 EUiock, Lord, 156 Erne, Lord, 1 14 Erskine, Henry, 27, 164, 199- 202 John, of Carnoch, IS7 — Lord, 27-31, 46 Esher, Lord, 54 Eskgrove, Lord, 155, 160, 161, 162, 164, 199 Evans, 228 Eve, Mr. Justice, 69 Fisher, Dr., 19 Fitton, Lord Chancellor, 127 Flood, Right Hon. H., no Forglen, Lord, 160 Fortesque, Lord, 8 Foster, Judge, 113 Fountainhall, Lord, 153, 154 Furton, Sir Thomas, 132 Gardenstone, Lord, 156 Garrick, David, 243 George III, 19, 24 Gillespie, Rev. Dr., 238 Gillon, Joseph, W.S.. 219 Glengarry, 161 Gould, Mr. Justice, 22, 30, 60, 71 Grady, H. D., 135-136 Graham, Baron, 34 Grantham, Mr. Justice, 58 Guildford, Lord, 68 Guthrie, Lord, 193 Hailes, Lord, 156 Halkerston, Lord, 163 Halligan, Denis, 113, 114 Hardwicke, Lord, 8 Harper, Sheriff, 206 Harris, Billy, in Hatton, Lord Chancellor, 5 Haweis, Rev. H. R., 223 Hawkins, Sir Henry (Lord Brampton), 54-57 Hayward, Mr., 132 Healy, Tim, 146, 147 Henderson, Sir John, 161 Henn, Chief Baron, in Jonathan, in, 112 William, Judge, n i Henry VIII, 4 Henry, Patrick, 224 Hermand, Lord, 165, 174, 176, 179-181 Herrick, Mr., 141 256 Digitized by Microsoft® INDEX Hill, Serjeant, 69, 70 Holmes, Mr., 138 Holroyd, Chief Justice, 38 Holt, Lord Justice, 37 Hook, John, 224 Home, Mr.. Dean of Faculty, 193 Horner, Mr., 183 Hyde,Edward(LordCampden), 7 ' Jackson, SherifiF Officer, 116 James, Edwin, 85, 86 Tames V, 153 Jef&ey, Lord, 172, 187 Jeffreys, Judge, 7 Jekyll, Serjeant, 79, 80 Kames, Lord, 5, 156, 165, 166 Keating, Mr. Justice, 61, 68\^ Keller, Jerry, 139 Kennedy, Mrs., 52 Kennet, Lord, 158 Kenyon, Lord, IO-I2, 22-24 Kilkerran, Lord, 163 Kingston, Duchess of, 1 3 Knight- Bruce, Lord Justice, 47, 48 Labron, John, 39 Landseer, Sir Edwin, 81 Lawrence, Sir Thomas, 8 5 Lawson, Mr. Justice, 123 Lee, Jack, Jf Leeds, Duke of, 46 Lees, Richard, 206 Lifibrd, Lord Chancellor, no Lockwood, Sir Frank, 89, 92 Logan, Sheriffi 206 Lysaght, Edward, 136, 137 M'Cormick, Samuel, 17S Macdonald, Chief Baron, 34 Macklin, Actor, 128 Maclaren, Lord, 194 MacMahon, Serjeant, 145 Mahaffy, Ninian, 140, 141 Mair, Ludovick, 208 Maloney, Mr., 130 Manners, Lord Chancellor, 141 Mansfield, Earl of, 14-16, 74, 20s Margarot, 183 Martin, Baron, 44, 45, 81 Maule, Mr. Justice, 31-34 Meadowbanic, Lord (first), 1 59 Meadow bank. Lord (second), 164, 169, 179 Mellor, Mr., 91, 92 Miller, Sir Thomas, 157 Millicent, Sir John, 6 Milton, Lord, 159 Missipg, Serjeant, 75 Mitchell, John, 112 Monboddo, Lord, 153, 157 Moncreiff, Lord, 175, 183, 184 Rev. Sir Henry Wellwood, 17s Lord Justice-Clerk, 211 Moore, Frankfort, 123 Moore, Judge, 1 12 More, Sir Thomas, 4. 5 Muir, Mr., 82 Murphy, Mr., gaoler, 117 Nagle, Mr., 127 Nangle, Mr., 107, 108, 109 Nares, Mr. Justice, 27 Newhall, Lord, 160 Newton, Lord, 171-173 Norbury, Lord, 1 14-1 17, 132, 133. 145 Norfolk, Duke of, 19 O'Connell, Daniel, 117, 141- 144 257 R Digitized by Microsoft® INDEX O'Flanagan, F. R., 107, 137 O'Gorman, Mr., 139, 140 O'Grady, Chief Baron, 117- 119 Orton, Arthur, 55 Oswald, Francis, 95, 96 Page, Mr. Justice, 22 Parker, Chief Baron, 1 5 Parry, Serjeant, 93, loi Parsons, Chief Justice, 223, 224 Parsons, Commissioner, 144, 145 Patteson, Mr. Justice, 61 Peat, Mr., 80 Petigru, Mr., 231 Phillimore, Sir Walter, 57 Phillips, Charles, 54 Phillips, 123, 128 Phipps, Lord Chancellor, 107 Pigot, Chief Baron, 141 Pinckney, Judge W. M., 230 Pitfour, Lord, 158 Pitmilly, Lord, 174 Plowden, Mr., 55 Plunket, Lord, 122, 123, 138 Polkemmet, Lord, 155, 163, 164 Powis, Mr. Justice, 8 Pratt, Sir John, Lord Justice, 9 Prime, Serjeant, 26, 72 Pritchard, Mary, yy Pyne, Chief Justice, 107, 108 Queensberry, Duke of, 29 Raine, Mr., 100 Redsdale, Lord Chancellor, 140 Reid, David, 159, 160 Ribton, Mr., Q.C., 50 Robertson, Patrick, Lord, 188 Roche, Sir Boyle, 133 Rodgers, Judge K., 241, 247 Romilly, Lord, 89 Rose, Sir George, 18 Ross, Charles, 159 Russell, Lord John, 42 Russell, Lord, of Killowen, 51 Rutherford, Lord, 189 Rutland, Earl of, 4 Ryder, Chief Justice, 9 Scarlett, Miss, 43 Scott, James, Q.C., 137 Scott, Sir Walter, 160, 199, 219 Shaftesbury, Lord, 6 Shand, Ix)rd, 190, 191, 193 Shee, Mr., Q.C., S i Sinclair, Sir John, 30 Sleigh, Warner, 83 Smith, Judge A^ 241 Smith, F. E., 95 Speer, Judge Emery, 229 Stanley, Lord, 41 Stonefield, Lord, 157, 185 ' Strichen, Lord, 1 56 Sugden, Sir Edward, 39 Sullivan, Mr., 223 Sumner, Mr., 234 Swinton, Lord, 200 Taylor, Senator, 230 Tenterden, Lord, 25 Thomas, Serjeant, 73 Thomson, Baron, 34 Thorpe, W. G., 86 Thurlow, Lord, 10-13, 19, 20 Townshend, Lord, 1 10 Tunstal, Dr., 77 Warren, Samuel, 46, 83 ' Wauchope, Mr., of Niddrie, 186 258 Digitized by Microsoft® INDEX Webster, Daniel, 227, 228 Wedderburn, Alexander (Lord Roslin), 7 Weldon, Mrs., 54 Weller, Mr., 107, 108 Westbury, Lord, 34, 35, 47 Wharton, Mr., 94 Whigham, Mr., 79 Wight, Alexander, 15s Wightmah, Mr. Justice, 50 Wilkins, Serjeant, 6, 72, 73 Willes, Mr. Justice, 21, 49, 78 Williams, Montague, 49, 88 Wills, Mr. Justice, 38 Wirt, William, 227, 228 \ Yorke, Edward (Lord Harde- wicke), 8 Young, Lord, 191-193 7 Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® THE LIFE AND CHARACTER SERIES THE LIGHTER SIDE OF ENGLISH LIFE By F, Frankfort Moorb. With sixteen studies in color of English characters by George Belcher. 8vo, 296 pages, buckram, net $1.50. Mr. Frankfort Moore, the famous Irish wit and novelist, has been living for the last few years in the heart of England, and for all the snobbishness he has encountered, and for all the heavy-handed complacency that has tried to crush him, he now gives his soul compensation. The chapters describe rural England as it really is to-day, with the utmost Hibernian irreverence. The choice of Mr. George Belcher to illustrate such a book was inevitable. As a draughtsman he is a " lineal " descendant of Leech. THE ENGLISH CHARACTER By Spencer Leigh Hughes. With sixteen illustrations in color by Frederick ~ Gardner. 8vo, 280 pages, buckram, net $1.50. The subject Mr. Hughes has chosen gives his genius for wise jesting exactly the kind of opportunity it revels in. He deals in turn with Politicians and Poets, the Clergy and Criminals, and others — always pricking pretensions, putting his finger unerringly on foibles and weaknesses, but with a geniality that makes the touch cure instead of irritate. Mr. Gardner has ruthlessly selected the individuals who seem to epitomize their environment, and has painted their portraits unsparingly, REMINISCENCES OF OLD SCOTS FOLK By T. Ratcliffe Barnett. With ten illustrations in color by R. Gemmell Hutchison. 8vo, 232 pages, buckram, net $1.50. This volume is a collection of reminiscences of old Scots characters and old Scots customs which still linger among the hills and in and out of the many country places. Mr. Barnett is the master of a picturesque pen, and this work should prove one of the most attractive books issued for many years, to those with Scottish interests. THE PROVOST By John Galt, author of " Annals of the Parish." With twelve illustrations in color by John M. Aiken. 8vo, 368 pages, buckram, net $1.50. "He can do what no other can do so well," admits Mr, S. R. Crockett. John Gait's novels are second to none for their dry humor and their unerring representation of old Scottish life, and " The Provost" is one of the most attractive and most faithful of these tales. The illustrations are by a rising young Scottish artist, J. M. Aiken. THE KIRK AND ITS WORTHIES By Nicholas Dickson. Edited by D. Macleod Malloch. With sixteen illustrations in color depicting old Scottish life by eminent artists. 8vo, 340 pages, buckram, $1.50. As a storehouse of humor relating to the Scottish Kirk, its ministers, its elders and its beadles, the present volume has no equal. It also illustrates many Scottish customs fast becoming extinct. LE ROY PHILLIPS, PUBLISHER 29A BEACON STREET, BOSTON Digitized by Microsoft® TRACTS FOR THE TIMES THE SERVILE STATE By HiLAiRE Belloc. 8vo, 237 pages, buckram, net $1.00. The book is a clear-headed estimate of the effect of modern legislation upon an industrial society, and it endeavours to demonstrate that the logical outcome is, not Socialism, but the establishment of two legally separate classes — the one a small class in possession of the means of production, legally guaranteed in its enjoyments, the other a large proletarian class condemned to compulsory labour under the guarantee of a living sufficiency, and security in its enjoyment. The sections in which Mr. Belloc seeks to show that, unless there is a sharp upheaval and deflection, this condition of scientifically organised slavery is the inevitable terminus of contemporary lines of effort, contain, whatever may be felt of their deductions, some of the shrewdest, mostfearless, and efficaxious analyses of current social conditions and political methods that writers have ever dared to place before the, eyes of this generation, THE SOCIAL UNREST : Its Cause and Solution. By J. Ramsay Macdonald, M.P. 8vo, 137 pages, buckram, net $1.00. The author is chairman of the Labour Party in the House of Commons. This, his latest book, is neither an academic treatise nor a propagandist pamphlet. It is an honest attempt, impassioned but impartial, to discover an answer to the ugly questions which thrust themselves on everyone who reads his morning paper with a seeing eye and realises the dark stirrings in the underworld ; and it leaps at once at the throat of current events without any theoretical preliminaries. ESSAYS IN POST-INDUSTRIALISM Edited by Dr. Ananda K. Coomaraswamy and A, J. Penty. 4to, 250 pages, buckram, net I1.75. This volume is one which should be read by all who perceive the approaching decay of in- dustrialism and are anxious to assist in the shaping of the Future. Among those who have contributed essays are Dr. A, K, Coomaraswamy, A. E, R, Gill, W, B, Yeats, Cordon Craig, S. D, W. A, Shaw, A. f, Penty, D. A, Worsley, Mrs. E. Townshend, Edward Spencer, Anthony M. Ludovici, J, Hows Davies, J, M. Kennedy. WHO IS TO BE MASTER OF THE WORLD ? An Intro- duction TO THE Philosophy of Friedrich Nietzsche. By Anthony M. Ludovici. Preface by Dr. Oscar Levy, author of " The Revival of Aristocracy," etc. 8vo, 200 pages, cloth, net $1.00. THE GUILD REVIVAL : Being a Study of the Future in the Past By A. J. Penty. 4to, 160 pages, buckram, net $1.50. LE ROY PHILLIPS, PUBLISHER 29A BEACON STREET, BOSTON Digitized by Microsoft® ARTS AND CRAFTS AND MUSIC ARTS AND CRAFTS OF INDIA AND CEYLON By Ananda K. Coomaraswamy. With frontispiece in color and over 250 half- tone illustrations. Small 4to, 278 pages, buckram, net $1.75. This is absolutely the first compact account in English of the painters and the paintings of India and Ceylon. The art of these countries, the author says, has been an "art for life's sake," an art closely in touch with the daily customs of the people, and every step of its development has therefore been connected with human effort and personal ideals — the whole narrative becomes an intimate account of a natioris progress. The illustrations are reproductions of Indian pictures, carvings, fabrics, and frescoes, the beauty of which will be a revelation to Western art students. MODERN MUSICIANS By J. CuTHBERT Hadden. With twenty-one portraits. 8vo, 288 pages, buckram, net $1.50. ^'Modern Musicians'' deals clearly, authoritatively, informingly, but not too technically , with the work and characteristics of living composers, conductors, singers, violinists, and pianists. The book multiplies immeasurably both the pleasure and the profit to be gained from concert-going, and it gives the reader a working basis of clear knowledge which will enable him to build up his own impressions and opinions systematically. As a collection of portraits of contemporary musical celebrities the book has a unique value, containing as it does full-page photographs of the most famous modem artists. MUSIC AS A RELIGION OF THE FUTURE ■ Translated from the French of Ricciotto Canudo, by Barnett D. Conlan. i2mo, 92 pages, buckram, net 90 cents. The author attempts to define the educative influences of physical melody. He traces sensuous principles with scientific integrity , and illustrates its conclusions with frequent references to the works and theories of Wagner, Rodin, De Rostand, Nietzsche, and the composers of the Russian Ballet. The book has been translated by Mr. Barnett D. Conlan — who also contributes a prefatory chapter introdtuing Sig. Canudo and his theories. The STANDARD WORK ON WIRELESS HANDBOOK OF TECHNICAL INSTRUCTION FOR WIRE- LESS TELEGRAPHISTS By J. C. Hawkhead. 8vo, 295 pages, fully illustrated, buckram, net $1.75. The only authoritative text-book of wireless telegraphy. It is issued with the full approval and support of the Marconi Company, in whose services the author has taken high rank, and no operator or young man who intends to adopt wireless telegraphy as a career can afford to be without it. LE ROY PHILLIPS, PUBLISHER 29A BEACON STREET, BOSTON Digitized by Microsoft® STANDARD MEMOIRS DR. JOHNSON'S MRS. THRALE Edited by J. H. Lobban. With 27 portraits by Sir Joshua Reynolds. 8vo, 360 pages, buckram, net $2.00. Every reader of BosweW s Johnson remembers the irrepressible Mrs. Thrale. It was in her society that he expanded most genially ; it was under her roof at Streatham that he spent sixteen of h is happiest years ; and it was of her that he lovingly said," She would be the first woman in the world, could she but restrain that wicked tongue of hers ; she would be the only woman, could she but command that little whirligig. " But she could not restrain her wicked tongue— and lovers of the Doctor may be devoutly glad of it. Her book, indeed, is a necessary complement to Bozzy's. The illustrations consist of twenty- seven portraits by Sir Joshua Reynolds, exquisitely reproduced in collotype. THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF DR. ALEXANDER CARLYLE Edited by J. Hill Burton. With 32 portraits in photogravure. Crown 8vo, 612 pages, buckram, net $2.00. " He was the grandest demigod I ever saw," wrote Sir Walter Scott of the author of this book. But, as these memoirs show, he was a demigod with a very human heart — or, at any rate, a ' ' divine " with a thorough knowledge of the world. A man of noble preserue, he thundered finely in the pulpit, was Moderator of the General Assembly , and Dean of the Chapel Royal ; but withal remained as curious as Pepys about the little things of life, with a whimsical eye for the idiosyncrasies of his fellows, and a proper concern for food and wine and social customs. " MEMORIALS OF HIS TIME By Lord Cockburn. With introduction by Harry A. Cockburn. With 12 por- traits by Sir Henry Raeburn in color. 8vo, 480 pages, buckram, net I2.00. " Chambers^ Encyclopedia" describes these Memorials as "the most autlientic, vivid, genial, and entertaining account of Edinburgh life, manners, and personages in the early nineteenth century.'" Cockburn had extraordinary opportunities to play the part of observer, and he made the most of them. The book has been equipped with a unique set of twenty full-page illustrations. No less than twelve of these are Raeburn! s. THE BARONIAL & ECCLESIASTICAL ANTIQUITIES OF SCOTLAND Illustrations by R. W. Billings. Text by J. Hill Burton. 240 full-page and 60 other illustrations. Four volumes, 4to, net 115.00. The beautifully drawn illustrations of this monumental work, showing all that is finest in old Scottish buildings, will prove of great value to architects and all interested in archi- tecture. OUR ANCESTORS Scots, Picts, and Cymry, by Robert Craig Maclagan, M.D. 8vo, 460 pages, buckram, net $1.50. The author examines in great detail the origins and early customs of the British people. The work is the result of a lifetime's study and contains a mass of most interesting theories and information. By comparing the customs as well as the folk-lore of the ancient inhabitants of Britain with the folk-lore and recorded history of the ancient classical and eastern peoples, the author is able to trace much that is common in each, LE ROY PHILLIPS, PUBLISHER 29A BEACON STREET, BOSTON Digitized by Microsoft® THE ROMANCE OF RIVERS THE RIVER OF LONDON By HiLAiRK Belloc. With sixteen illustrations in color by John Muirhead. 8vo, 200 pages, buckram, net $1.50. Mr. Hilaire Belloc has written another book in the same sunny temper as his " Path to Rome " dealing with the oldest highway in Britain. Flowing through England's history, the Thames has moulded the course of the nation's life almost as profoundly as it has affected the visible aspect of her Shires ; — and to an imagination like Mr. Belloc' s it therefore becomes both a crystal road leading deep into the past and a place for glorious wayfaring in the present. The series of landscapes Mr. Muirhead has painted for this book mirror the Thames at its successive points of most perfect beauty. THE FOOTSTEPS OF SCOTT By W. S. Crockett. With ten illustrations in color by ToM Scott. 8vo, 230 pages, buckram, net I1.25. Mr. Crockett has probably no equal in his knowledge of the Border country and its literature, or in his affectionate acquaintance with the life of Sir Walter. In this book he deals with the beloved countryside where Scott was bred,, where he worked and wan- dered happily and died, and which forms the constant background of his books. The illustrations are from water-colors specially painted by Mr. Tom Scott, another born Borderer. ARRAN OF THE BENS, THE GLENS, AND THE BRAVE By Mackenzie Macbride. With sixteen illustrations in color by Lawton WiNGATE. 8vo, 234 pages, buckram, net I1.50. In text andin illustration a noble portrait of the Island of Arran. The book is' a scrupu- lous and independent contribution to the topographical and historical literature of the Scottish Lowlands, which sets its romance before the reader with unusual vividness. PAGEANT OF THE FORTH By Stewart Dick. With twenty-four illustrations in color by Eminent Scottish Painters. 8vo, 252 pages, buckram, net I1.50. Rightly considered, the Pageant of the Forth is nothing less than the wale of Scotland's history, marching past upon the glittering stage of firth and field that Edinburgh sur- veys from her high seat. From Stirling to Dunbar the coast-line is one string of storied names. It would be difficult to write a dull book on such a theme ; and Mr. Dick has not succeeded. The illustrations are a record of the best ofSotland's scenery by the best of Scotland's artists. LE ROY PHILLIPS, PUBLISHER 29A BEACON STREET, BOSTON Digitized by Microsoft® THE CITIES SERIES A brilliant series of drawings by eminent artists, with illustrations in photogravure and gravure-tint, mounted. A LITTLE BOOK OF LONDON 25 drawings in photogravure by Joseph Pennell. In decorative covers, net 50 cents. In Japanese vellum with illustrations mounted, net $1.00. THE GREAT NEW YORK 24 drawings in photogravure by Joseph Pennell. In decorative covers, net 50 cents. In Japanese vellum with illustrations mounted, net $1.00. GLASGOW, THE CITY OF THE WEST 24 drawings in photogravure of Old Glasgow by Jessie M. King. In decorative covers, net 50 cents. EDINBURGH, THE GREY CITY OF THE NORTH 24 drawings of Old Edinburgh by Jessie M. King. In decorative covers, net 50 cents. DWELLINGS OF AN OLD-WORLD TOWN IN FIFESHIRE 25 drawings by Jessie M. King. In decorative covers, net 50 cents. SAN FRANCISCO, THE CITY OF THE GOLDEN GATE 25 drawings in photogravure by Joseph Pennell. In decorative covers, net 75 cents. VENICE, THE CITY OF THE SEA 25 drawings in photogravure by Joseph Pennell. In decorative covers, net 75 cents. BOSTON IN NEW ENGLAND, ITS BYWAYS AND HIGH- WAYS 25 drawings in photogravure by John Albert Seaford. In decorative covers, net 50 cents. Uniform with the above series R. L. STEVENSON : MEMORIES Being twenty-five illustrations, reproduced from photographs, of Robert Louis Stevenson, his homes and his haunts. Many of these reproduced for the first time. A booklet for every Stevenson lover. In decorative covers, net 50 cents. LE ROY PHILLIPS, PUBLISHER 29A BEACON STREET, BOSTON Digitized by Microsoft® FRIENDSHIP BOOKS Printed in two colors, and in attractive bindings, net $l.oo. Bound in finest Velvet Persian, net ll.jo. An attempt has been made in these books to issue at the lowest possible price, with the aid of the latest modem processes of color reproduction, a finely prodtued series, sumptu- ously decorated and illustrated, so as to form attractive presentation books. RUBAIYAT OF OMAR KHAYYAM With illustrations in color by F. Brangwyn. THE GIFT OF FRIENDSHIP With illustrations in color by H. C. Preston Macgoun. THE GIFT OF LOVE A collection of the noblest passages in literature dealing with love, selected by A. H. Hyatt. With illustrations in color by Lewis Baumer. SAPPHO, QUEEN OF SONG A selection from her love poems by J. R. TUTIN, with illustrations in color by E. A. R. COLLINGS. AUCASSIN AND NICOLETTE With introduction by F. W. Bourdillon, and illustrations in color by Marjorie Nash. THE CHARM OF LIFE With illustrations in color by Frederick Gardner. THE BOOK OF GOOD FRIENDSHIP With illustrations in color by H. C. Preston Macgoun. THE GARDEN LOVER'S BOOKS In attractive bindings, net $i.oo. Bound in finest Velvet Persian, net I1.50. The latest modern processes of color reproduction have been employed in illustrating and decorating this series, A BOOK OF GARDENS Illustrated in color by Margaret H. Waterfibld. A BOOK OF OLD-WORLD GARDENS Illustrated in color by Beatrice Parsons. GARDEN MEMORIES Illustrated in color by Mary G. W. Wilson. LE ROY PHILLIPS, PUBLISHER 29A BEACON STREET, BOSTON Digitized by Microsoft® SONGS &> POEMS OF SCOTLAND THE SONGS & POEMS BY BURNS With an introduction by the Earl of Rosebery. 46 fine illustrations in color by eminent artists. 4to, 6l2 pages, buckram, net I3.50. A handsome presentation edition of " The Songs and Poems of Burns." While many ' eminent artists have painted some of their finest pictures in depicting scenes fi-om Burns, no attempt has previously been m.ade to collect these within the bounds of an editioji of his works. The text is printed in black and blue on fine paper, with ample margins, THE SONGS OF LADY NAIRNE Illustrated with pictures by well-known Scottish painters, reproduced in color. 8vo, bound in attractive boards, net fi.oo. Were all existing copies of Lady Naime's songs destroyed to-morrow, they could be perfectly reprinted the next day, so unforgettably do they live in a thousand Scottish minds. THE SCOTS POEMS OF ROBERT FERGUSSON With 8 illustrations in color by Monro S. Orr. Svo, bound in attractive boards net $1.00. This poor Edinburgh lad is the first of the true rcue of Scottish singers. He dis- covered the possibilities of the vernacular, taught the Muses not to be afraid of taverns, gave Burns a lead, made tune after tune which the latter copied so well that we now attribute them wholly to him. The earlier Robert raised a monument in Canongate churchyard inscribed to the memory of " my elder brother in the Muses." Stevenson wished to dedicate his own complete works to the lad's memory, ' ' I feel that I must do something for Fergusson," he wrote to a friend. " I have always had a great sense of kinship with him — so clever a lad, so wild, of such a mixed strain, born in the same town as me and . . . so like myself." THE SONGS & POEMS OF THE ETTRICK SHEPHERD With 8 illustrations in color by Jessie M. King. Svo, bound in attractive boards, net li.oo. The cream of Hogg's poetry is in this book ; it meets the needs of those who are in search of an adequate edition of the work of Scotland's famous peasant-poet. The artist selected for the task of providing illustrations of a fine appropriateness was Miss Jessie M. King of Glasgow. The Ettrick Shepherd has been called " the king of the fairy and the mountain school of poetry. " It is excusable to say that Miss King is the queen of ' ' the fairy and the mountain school " of painting. LE ROY PHILLIPS, PUBLISHER 29A BEACON STREET, BOSTON Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft® Digitized by Microsoft®