fyxmW Ittttivmitg f itoEtg 
 
 THE GIFT OF 
 
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The original of tliis bool< is in 
 tine Cornell University Library. 
 
 There are no known copyright restrictions in 
 the United States on the use of the text. 
 
 http://www.archive.org/details/cu31924031450699 
 
C. F. B. MIEL. 
 
A SOUL'S Pilgrimage 
 
 Being the Personal and 
 Religious Experiences of 
 
 CHARLES F. B. MIEL, D. D. 
 
 PHILADELPHIA 
 
 GEORGE W. JACOBS & CO. 
 1899 
 
Copyright, 1899, by 
 Georgb W. Jacobs & Co. 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 FAGB 
 
 Introduction 5 
 
 At College and Seminary 11 
 
 The Jesuits 19 
 
 In Paris 31 
 
 London 44 
 
 Fiat Lux ! 58 
 
 In Rome 70 
 
 In England Again 81 
 
 Breaking Close Ties 91 
 
 New Friends loi 
 
 The New World 1 1 1 
 
 Varied Experiences ; New York 1 26 
 
 Boston 139 
 
 San Francisco and Chicago 156 
 
 Religious Requirements of Our Time 175 
 
 The Episcopal Church 182 
 
INTRODUCTION. 
 
 YOUNG MIEL, a student in the seminary at 
 Besangon, about the year 1842, having heard 
 the eloquent Jesuit, Pere de Place, preach at the 
 cathedral the Advent season, determined then and 
 there to enter the Society of Jesus. But there was 
 a difficulty in the way. Micl had contracted a 
 debt for his collegiate education, which he was 
 now paying off from his salary as tutor to young 
 Marquis de Lenoncourt. He would not bejree to 
 follow his attrait until this debt should be paid. 
 Thereupon his friend, the Abbe Perny of Pontar- 
 lier, afterwards vicar-apostolic in China, offered to 
 take his place as tutor and turn over the whole of 
 the salary toward the payment of Miel's debt, and 
 did so. 
 
 From that time until now, in his hale and rev- 
 erend age. Dr. Miel has had the gift to win friends. 
 As one of these he has done me the honor to per- 
 mit me to introduce him to American Churchmen 
 and Christians. If he is not better known than 
 his introducer it is because his useful and most 
 interesting life has been led in fields in which 
 Americans are not wont to walk. Here is the 
 manner of life of the Jesuits described, kindly and 
 with appreciation, by a man who made his full 
 
fntroftuctton 
 
 novrata^e with them, remained for several years 
 under their spiritual direction and entertained with 
 them the most friendly relations, until conscience 
 and clear conviction obliged him to leave their 
 church. 
 
 It is difficult, moreover, for us, living as we 
 habitually do in the provinciahsm of our EngHsh 
 language, to realize that our venerable confrere is 
 one of that brilliant group of the later years of 
 Louis Philippe, one received on equal terms by 
 Lacordaire, de Ravignan, Lamartine, Montalem- 
 bert, Lenormant, Ozanam, Jules Simon, Labou- 
 laye, etc. 
 
 An English lady, an Anglican, claimed the priv- 
 ilege to take off his shoulders and upon her own 
 the burden of educating his brothers and sisters, in 
 order that he might the sooner enter the Roman 
 priesthood. When the Abbe Gounod turned aside 
 to follow music instead of the priesthood, it was to 
 Miel he gave his surplice and beretta. Ravignan 
 was his confessor, and presented him to the Arch- 
 bishop of Paris for ordination, and to him was 
 given to represent the French Catholics at the 
 funeral of Daniel O'Connell. 
 
 How such a man with such an entourage, with 
 such prospects of preferment before him, was 
 driven from within to abandon it all and start upon 
 the long and weary pilgrimage in search of that 
 
■ffntroOucHon 
 
 place where truth dwells, makes up the story of 
 this book. It is the history of a Soul. His sad 
 conviction that fidelity to truth would lead him 
 out of that great Church in which his heart and 
 imagination were bound in capitive chains, his 
 stumbling about in the darkness of blank negation, 
 his search for spiritual kinsmen among the Uni- 
 tarians and the Transcendentalists, and his finding 
 of a spiritual resting place in the Anglican Com- 
 munion — all these make up a story which has been 
 often lived but seldom told. We wait yet for the 
 Apologia of the convert from Rome, which may 
 be set over against that other drawn out by the 
 great Anglican preacher who became the insig- 
 nificant Roman cardinal. That no Protestant car- 
 dinalate has come to Dr. Miel is because Protes- 
 tantism pays her champions in a different kind of 
 wares. The foundation truth of the truth as it is 
 in Christ, is that truth is its own exceeding great 
 reward. None knows this better than the author 
 of this autobiography, who, in his serene old age, 
 sets down in little the story of a life which was 
 great, at the solicitation of his sons and his friends, 
 among whom I am glad to subscribe myself. 
 
 S. D. McCONNELL. 
 
 ' I/o/y Trinity, 
 Brooklyn, 
 
 Advent, i8g8. 
 
AUTHOR'S INTRODUCTORY. 
 
 My Dear Sons : 
 
 You have often expressed a desire to 
 know more perfectly the noteworthy events and 
 especially the religious experiences and changes of 
 my life. You say that you feel these may not 
 only interest but help spiritually those who, 
 like myself, have been harassed and tried by 
 doubt. If this be so, I will gladly tell my story 
 to you, personal and sacred as many of the details 
 are, and you in turn may tell it to others. 
 
 Let me begin at the beginning, and relate to 
 you, first, in all simplicity, the principal incidents 
 of my classical education. 
 
CHAPTER I. 
 
 AT COLLEGE AND SEMINARY. 
 
 1WAS born on the twenty-third of September, 
 l8i8, at Vars, near Gray, a village about 
 eight leagues from the city of Dijon. My parents 
 were deeply religious people and, in their own 
 simple circle, highly considered. They sustained 
 themselves and their family on the produce of a 
 modest property. My mother, then in her twen- 
 tieth year, took charge during the winter of a 
 school for young girls, the first one started in the 
 district. The cure of the parish, M. Demay, was 
 a man of superior culture and learning. His rela- 
 tions to my parents were those of a kind friend 
 as well as a devoted pastor. When I was still a 
 stripling, this generous man took an affectionate 
 interest in me, discovering, as he fondly hoped, a 
 recruit for the sacred militia. Counting my taste 
 for study and religious exercises as prophetic of a 
 career, he arranged with my parents to send me 
 to the college at Gray. 
 
 Our good friend, ambitious for his young 
 charge, had insisted on my entering one of the 
 
B Soul's ipilgtimage 
 
 advanced classes, which made my course difficult 
 and somewhat discouraging at first. But I had 
 resolved to succeed, and by persistent effort at the 
 end of the first year was able to secure the two 
 highest prizes ; those for excellence and diligence. 
 The year following brought me forward far 
 beyond my scant hopes and even the highest 
 expectations of the cure himself. Of the fourteen 
 prizes, thirteen fell to my lot with honorable men- 
 tion of the fourteenth. It was decided by the 
 masters that I should not enter the second class 
 but pass at once to rhetoric, the highest form. 
 
 My life in the college was so pleasant and my 
 progress so encouraging, that I found myself look- 
 ing forward to the time when I might become a 
 member of its corps of teachers. In all likelihood 
 I should have become such had not an unforeseen 
 incident occurred which gave my thoughts and 
 views a more serious turn. 
 
 During the vacation, a young fellow-student 
 came to visit us at Vars. He was not what one 
 would call an exemplary youth, but a cheerful and 
 pleasant companion, and such as one might pass a 
 happy day with and not discover any grave fault. 
 As I accompanied him homeward, he showed his 
 real character in such a revolting manner that I 
 was amazed and stunned. My revulsion of feeling, 
 I cannot describe. Without even saying adieu, I 
 
at College anD Seminars 
 
 turned on my heel, and when I had reached a spot 
 where he could no longer see me, I threw myself 
 on my knees asking pardon for him and grace for 
 myself A vile suggestion made hy him was a hor- 
 rible revelation to me, and my whole nature was 
 strangely stirred. In a single glance there opened 
 before me the two possibilities of human life : the 
 terrible apparition of a soul wedded to the vile- 
 ness of sin, the heavenly vision of a soul conse- 
 crated to the beauty of holiness. 
 
 My resolution was instantly made. I determined 
 that in the future I would devote myself wholly to 
 the cause of religion. Twenty minutes later I 
 was at my mother's side communicating my reso- 
 lution to her. She embraced me fervently, happy 
 as one rarely is in this world. My father, too, 
 heartily sanctioned my determination, and that 
 very evening we spoke of it to our worthy cure, 
 who wrote the next day to the Superior at Luxeuil, 
 asking my admission to his seminary, the first in 
 the diocese of Besangon. 
 
 There was one serious objection to my leaving 
 my father's house, which did not occur to me at 
 once. At Gray I had lived with relatives and 
 consequently my expenses were very small. At 
 Luxeuil it would cost considerably more to live, 
 and, as our family now numbered nine, my parents 
 
14 a Soul's pUgdmage 
 
 were not in a position to make a large outlay for my 
 education, much as they would have liked to do so. 
 My decision, however, was made, and it was a 
 matter too serious to me to admit of change. I set 
 out without delay to visit a cousin of my mother's, 
 a bachelor of comfortable fortune and generous 
 spirit. Having told him frankly how matters stood, 
 he asked me whether, if he should agree to 
 advance the money for my expenses as the need 
 for it arose, I would pledge myself to make it good 
 when I was able to do so. I gave him my word 
 to this effect, and without more ado, returned to 
 my home, and immediately set out for the seminary 
 at Luxeuil. 
 
 At that time the seminary had at its head two 
 remarkable men, the Superior, M. Guerin, who 
 some years after became Bishop of Langres, and 
 the Director, M. Mabile, who formerly had been 
 Vicar of Gray, where he had known me, and who 
 afterwards became Bishop of St. Claude and finally 
 Bishop of Versailles. Both of these men favored 
 me with a special affection of which I still retain 
 many precious proofs. 
 
 Coming from the third class, according to rule, 
 I should have passed to the second ; but after brief 
 examination, I was put into the highest class, that 
 of the rhetoricians. 
 
 There was a privilege for those who obtained 
 
Bt College and Seminars 15 
 
 the first rank in that class they greatly coveted, 
 that of dining on Sunday at the professors' table. 
 This pleasure fell to my lot the six last Sundays in 
 the seminary year. 
 
 During the summer, M. le Comte de Montalem- 
 bert, the youngest of the peers of France, the lead- 
 ing layman of the liberal Catholic Party, and 
 afterwards the associate of Lamennais and Lacor- 
 daire in the publication of " L'Avenir," came to 
 pay our seminary a visit. A kind of academical 
 reception was given him, and I was charged by the 
 Superior to address the young and noble peer in 
 behalf of the establishment. Although the speech 
 inspired by the occasion won from him flattering 
 congratulations, I was far from suspecting that later 
 I should find myself in frequent communication with 
 this distinguished man, then upon the threshold of 
 a brilliant career. 
 
 The diocese of Besangon had its school of phil- 
 osophy and higher mathematics at Vesoul, chef- 
 lieu of la Haute-Saone. There I pursued these 
 studies for two years, and there it was my good 
 fortune to meet one who was to prove my warm- 
 est friend, M. Paul Perny, of Pontarlier, later 
 apostolic vicar in China, and author of a much 
 esteemed Chinese-French grammar and diction- 
 ary. This noble fellow was soon to illustrate 
 for me in the most real and generous way the 
 
j6 a Soul's pilgrimage 
 
 words of La Fontaine : " How sweet a thing is a 
 true friend ! He seeks for our wants deep down 
 in our hearts. He spares us the shyness of dis- 
 covering them ourselves." 
 
 Up to this time my studies had been simply 
 preparatory. It was at the great seminary of 
 Besangon that they were to be completed, where 
 the regular course in theology comprises four 
 years. According to a special arrangement in 
 this diocese, the students pass the first of these 
 years as boarders in the seminary itself. The 
 three following years they lodge in the town, as 
 convenient to them. The object of this arrange- 
 ment is to initiate the young clerics into the life of 
 the world. After my first year under this system, 
 I looked for a way of not only meeting my expen- 
 ses, but also of earning enough to enable me to 
 begin the reimbursement of my debt. The 
 Superior, aware of this intention on my part, most 
 kindly interested himself in my behalf and secured 
 for me the position of preceptor in a noble and 
 highly esteemed family, that of the Marquis de 
 Lenoncourt. For two years I held this enviable 
 position, devoting two hours each day to my 
 studies at the seminary and the rest of my time to 
 my young pupils. 
 
 Already I had begun to be preoccupied as to 
 what I should do after my ordination. What I 
 
^t College and Seminars 17 
 
 had seen of the manner of life among the country 
 priests did not at all attract me, and I mentally 
 resolved to serve in a different way the cause ot 
 Christ and His Church. Such were my feelings, 
 when a Jesuit, renowned for his eloquence, Pere 
 de Place, came to preach the Advent at the 
 cathedral of Besangon. I followed the instructions 
 regularly, and was so deeply impressed with the 
 man and his message that I thought it well to go 
 and see this reverend father and ask his advice as 
 to my best course for the future. The more I 
 knew him the more I admired him, and presently 
 the idea formed itself in my mind that no higher 
 purpose could I follow than to become a member 
 of the society which he so worthily represented. 
 On learning of my desire, he offered to recommend 
 me to his Provincial as a postulant. There was 
 but one serious obstacle to my acceptance of such 
 an offer — the debt that I had promised and had 
 already begun to pay. It was then that Abbe 
 Perny gave me the most noble evidence of his 
 goodness and the truth and depth of his friend- 
 ship. Without a moment's hesitation, he proposed 
 to take my place as preceptor of the young 
 Lenoncourt and to give his salary toward the 
 debt I had contracted. It was too generous a 
 sacrifice, too kind an act. Yet his heart was set 
 upon making it and he was determined that I 
 
1 8 a Soul's pilgrimage 
 
 should carry out my idea. I knew him well ; too 
 well indeed to think of declining his offer, and 
 thanks to him I was able to make the necessary 
 arrangements and set out for the novitiate at 
 Avignon, the only one the society then held in 
 France. 
 
CHAPTER II. 
 
 THE JESUITS. 
 
 I FEEL called upon here, in justice to the 
 Jesuits and for the better information of 
 those who oppose that order, to state plainly what 
 I know and think of this remarkable society and 
 also of the character of its members. 
 
 Indirectly it owes its birth to Luther ! 
 
 It was towards the middle of the sixteenth cen- 
 tury, when the influence of the Reformation 
 threatened to spread throughout all Christendom, 
 and made as if to force an entrance even at Rome 
 itself, that the cry arose from those who had 
 remained faithful to the papal power : "Who will 
 check the onrush of this devastating torrent?" In 
 answer to this cry of distress, Ignatius of Loyola, 
 a man of ardent zeal and rai-e genius, came to the 
 front as champion of the Church's cause. With a 
 keen sense of the impending danger, he resolutely 
 set about organizing a force which then and there- 
 after might be relied upon to stand firm by the 
 papacy and secure its perpetuation. The fruit of 
 his zeal and labor was the Society of Jesus, which 
 
B Soul's BMIdtimage 
 
 to-day is rightly reckoned the most influential 
 clerical body in the religious world. What it has 
 done thus far is a matter of history, what it expects 
 to do in the future is a matter of conjecture. A 
 few words only as to its instrumentalities and 
 methods, and first of all as to the character of the 
 men who compose it. 
 
 They cannot be ordinary men ; they must give 
 evidence of special excellence in some unmistakable 
 way. When a postulant has been admitted, the supe- 
 riors, acting upon the principle that every man is en- 
 dowed with some predominant talent, as soon as that 
 talent is discovered, see to it that every opportunity 
 shall be given for its highest cultivation. From 
 the time when he is admitted as a member of the 
 society the novice is afforded the best possible 
 chance for intellectual development along the lines 
 of his special aptitude. If his gift is that of teach- 
 ing, then a teacher of the highest order he shall 
 become ; if he promises ability as a preacher, then 
 a preacher of power and persuasiveness he will be 
 trained to be. At least, it shall not be for want of 
 proper exercise in his calling or for lack of wise 
 and watchful direction, if he fail to attain success. 
 
 Meanwhile his conduct must be above reproach, 
 and to this end there is an "exercise of modesty" 
 in the discipline of each week. The novices are 
 brought together in their hall of assembly, and the 
 
Zbe Jesuits 
 
 master of novices, after prayer, summons at his 
 discretion one of their number, who immediately 
 leaves his place, advances in silence to the middle 
 of the room and kneels. His brother novices are 
 then called upon in turn to say what they have 
 noticed in his behavior requiring correction or 
 improvement. In all good conscience each must 
 give his criticism, and when the entire assembly 
 have complied with the rule, the master reviews 
 the comments that have been made, to which he 
 adds his own admonition, indicating clearly what 
 must be amended before another such inquiry. 
 The same impressive and searching discipline is 
 performed for every novice. 
 
 To this exercise is added another, of not so 
 serious a nature, called the " exercice de bonne 
 tenue." Its object is to inculcate dignity and grace 
 of manner. In the presence of his brothers, the 
 youthful novice is required to walk, to take a seat, 
 to salute a friend or a superior, etc., etc., and all 
 these gestures are submitted to the scrutiny of the 
 assembly in order that defects in deportment may 
 be pointed out and corrected. It is for this reason 
 that the members of the society, as far as social 
 demeanor is concerned, appear to an observer to 
 have been run into the same mould, and can be 
 distinguished even in a crowd. 
 
 These two illustrations will serve to indicate 
 
a Sours pUgtimage 
 
 the minuteness of detail in the discipline of the 
 society. Nor are such methods to be lightly 
 passed upon as gratuitous, for the object in view is 
 to turn out men trained in every particular and 
 destined eventually to become the polished tools 
 of their several superiors. 
 
 To this end the greatest stress is laid upon 
 unquestioning obedience. For the Jesuit this 
 becomes in time the supreme virtue. Individual 
 preference has no place in his code of morals. In 
 any supposable conflict between personal inclina- 
 tion and the rule of obedience, the Jesuit is not to 
 hesitate for an instant. He is t,o obey, first, last, 
 and always. The rule by which he binds himself 
 is couched in the following explicit and compre- 
 hensive terms : " Obedientia vestra sit ex omni 
 parte perfecta; turn in intellectu, turn in actu, turn 
 in voluntate." To paraphrase : " Let your obedi- 
 ence be perfect in every way ; in understanding 
 (persuaded that what you are ordered to do then 
 and there is the best thing you can do), in action 
 (doing what is ordered exactly, neither more nor 
 less), in will (not doing it because you must, but 
 with a willing heart)." This virtue of obedience 
 is cultivated by every means possible, and the rise 
 of any relationship which might hinder its growth 
 is prevented by simple devices. For instance, the 
 novices are always three in a room, lest strong 
 
Zbe Jesuits 23 
 
 personal attachments spring up, which might be the 
 case where two are thrown closely and intimately- 
 together. The same rule is observed at the time 
 of recreation, where three must be found walking 
 together. In' leaving the room, the novice first 
 seeks the permission of the "ancient" (who may 
 be the youngest man of the group), and must say 
 what he means to do in his absence. If it is his 
 purpose to call at another room, he must also state 
 the fact and the reason to the " ancient" there. 
 
 In order to inculcate a spirit of readiness to 
 obey, even in the performance of the humblest 
 duties, a novice is required to spend a month in 
 the kitchen and do the bidding of the cook (a man 
 of meagre education) as freely and faithfully as if 
 he were Jesus Himself In the spirit of a servant 
 of the Master he is obliged to do the most menial 
 work, taking no account of its unpleasantness, but 
 rather counting it gain to perform a disagreeable 
 office. 
 
 Promptitude is emphasized as an essential ele- 
 ment of willing obedience, and in order to develop 
 this virtue the novice is constantly reminded of his 
 duty in a very practical way. For him, the clock 
 which calls to any exercise, no matter of what sort, 
 is the voice of God. His part is to leave instantly 
 the occupation with which he is concerned at the 
 time, however engrossing it may be, and hasten to 
 
24 £1 Soul's pUgiimage 
 
 the performance of the duty of the hour. Perfect 
 obedience admits of no delay even in seemingly 
 small matters. 
 
 Of course the most important object in the dis- 
 cipline is the spiritual improvement of the future 
 Jesuit. To effect this, there is the practice of soli- 
 tary meditation one hour every morning, preceded 
 by a preparation of a quarter of an hour and fol- 
 lowed by a review of the same length. In addition 
 to this, the novice passes through the great Retreat 
 of thirty-one days, during which he is left entirely 
 to himself and may communicate only with his 
 director. In this course, he observes five medita- 
 tions of an hour each, one of them in the middle 
 of the night, which with the preparations and 
 reviews occupy seven hours and a half in every 
 twenty-four. Let me say for the information ot 
 those who are apt to count such devotions perfunc- 
 tory, that one finds oneself entering so naturally 
 and so deeply into these periods of silence and 
 sober thought that looking at the notes which were 
 written at the conclusion of each one of them, 
 about the distracting thoughts that had come into 
 my mind, I find several times this remark : " My 
 distractions during this meditation might have 
 taken the time of the recital of the Lord's Prayer." 
 So it is that the Jesuit is trained to be a gentle- 
 man, a superior man, an obedient man, a spiritual 
 
tTbe Jesuits 25 
 
 man. Having, then, a perfect tool at his disposal, 
 in what way shall the Superior use it for the ulti- 
 mate object of the institution ? 
 
 The two principal means employed by the 
 Jesuits to obtain and exercise a decisive influence 
 over human souls are education and direction. 
 
 To accomplish their work, the leaders of the 
 Reformation wisely spread and diffused learning 
 among the people. To counteract that work, the 
 Jesuits conceived the idea of raising not altar 
 against altar, but school against school ; not indeed 
 for the sake of learning in itself, but as the most 
 effective means of saving and extending the power 
 of the Roman Church. No pains are spared to 
 accomplish this purpose ; so that you will find the 
 Jesuit teacher not content merely with instructing 
 his charges, but before everything else endeavor- 
 ing to win their affection and respect. Particularly 
 is this the case with those who have the children 
 of Protestants under their guidance. And in this 
 direction their success is so complete that those of 
 their pupils who do not become Jesuits or fervent 
 Roman Catholics, remain almost invariably devoted 
 friends of their former masters. The same is true 
 of the Ladies of the Sacred Heart, whose estab- 
 lishments correspond to those of the Jesuits in 
 object and moods and are under their direction. 
 Both the colleges of the Jesuits and the schools of 
 
26 a Soul'e pilgtimade 
 
 the Sacred Heart are designed, not for the poor, 
 but for the children of influential parents, who, in 
 time, are likely to occupy positions of prominence 
 in society. To control society at its best, to shape 
 the minds of those who are presumably destined 
 to influence a large circle of others because of 
 their rank and attainment, is the purpose of educa- 
 tion in the hands of the Jesuits. 
 
 Another and perhaps more effective avenue of 
 power and influence is spiritual direction. Under 
 ordinary conditions any one of the faithful, con- 
 scious of sin, is enjoined to confess it to his priest, 
 who, with or without words of advice, grants or 
 withholds absolution, as the case may be. The rela- 
 tions between confessor and penitent naturally end 
 here. But it is not so with a Jesuit confessor. 
 Spiritual direction supplements confession. By 
 dint of continued persistence, the Jesuits have 
 succeeded in having this idea accepted by the 
 pious Romanist, that just as the word of the 
 Bishop of Rome is to be unhesitatingly accepted in 
 matters of dogma, so the word of the spiritual 
 director is to be faithfully followed in matters ot 
 conduct. In order to walk in the way of Christian 
 perfection, the devout believer must accept one 
 condition, that of perfect obedience, and in all 
 things, even the temporal, act upon the advice of 
 his director. It follows from this that those who 
 
Zbs Jesuits 27 
 
 have placed themselves under the direction of 
 Jesuits — and most Roman Catholics of standing 
 have done so — are destined to act out the parts 
 assigned them by a society of which the supreme 
 object is the exaltation of the papacy. One can 
 readily see to what an extraordinary degree this 
 organization is able to carry out the ambition of 
 Rome. The Superior-General has absolute power 
 over the provincials of the order ; the provincials 
 absolute power over the superiors of the various 
 establishments, colleges or residences ; these supe- 
 riors in turn the same authority over the subor- 
 dinate fathers of their houses ; the fathers over the 
 faithful who follow their direction ; and lastly, 
 these faithful Catholics, being oftentimes at the 
 head of some seemingly independent society (like 
 that of St. Vincent de Paul), carry the same influ- 
 ence to the very last and most humble category of 
 Romanists. 
 
 Thus the Jesuits fulfil their fourth vow — that of 
 complete consecration to the interests of papal 
 authority. Small wonder is it, if Rome treats 
 them as its privileged retainers, and grants a Jesuit 
 peculiar powers which no secular priest may exer- 
 cise, save under the authority of his bishop. The 
 Jesuit knows no master but Rome, and Rome 
 rewards his service with special favors. 
 
 I remained at the house of probation of the 
 
28 a Soul's iptlgrfmagc 
 
 Jesuits more than a year, from January, 1842, 
 until March, 1843. I made my complete novitiate 
 there, passing through all the tests to which 
 aspirants to this famous order are subjected. I 
 retain a precious and pious remembrance of it all. 
 It was there I acquired the best of my early 
 religious experience, and my notes of daily medita- 
 tions are unequivocal testimonies of faith, of fervor, 
 and of zeal. 
 
 The fathers of this residence were eight in 
 number, the novices thirty. Never have I met 
 with so much talent united to so much piety and 
 virtue. The thirst for souls seemed to devour these 
 young aspirants to the apostolate. 
 
 One day it was reported that four missionaries 
 of the society had just died the death of martyrs in 
 Madure. The master of the novices called these 
 together and announced with evidence of deep 
 emotion the sad but glorious news. Then, after a 
 moment's silence, he continued : " That is not all, 
 brothers. These worthy fathers must be replaced. 
 Which of you are ready to start immediately to 
 evangelize the very people who have killed our 
 noble missionaries?" With one accord all present 
 rose to a man. Four were selected, and within 
 forty-eight hours were on their way to the field of 
 blood. This is the devotion of those who are so 
 badly understood and so often calumniated. 
 
Zbe Jesuits 29 
 
 However, sincere as was my admiration for the 
 members of this society, when the moment came 
 for me to declare my allegiance to its rule, I was 
 obliged to decline to make the step and for a very 
 simple but forcible reason. According to the rule 
 of the order, every novice who pronounced his 
 vows, not yet ordained a priest, could not be made 
 so until the age of thirty. I should have had to 
 wait five or six years and pass them in study or 
 teaching before being elevated to the sacerdotal 
 office. I longed to preach and to work ; I pined 
 to engage actively and openly in the wider field of 
 the Church's labors. Moreover, there was pressing 
 upon me a duty that it seemed to me I could not 
 honestly ignore. The eldest of eight children in 
 a family in which the question of daily bread was 
 always an urgent one, it seemed to me the time 
 had come to put my shoulder to the family burden 
 and to help to bear the weight of this responsibility 
 along with my parents. Four brothers and three 
 sisters were growing up, and must needs be edu- 
 cated. As the eldest son, all possible sacrifices 
 had been made to give me the advantages of a 
 hberal training. It behooved me, in simple grati- 
 tude, to see to it that my labors brought some 
 practical measure of comfort and assistance to 
 those who had so freely and generously denied 
 themselves for me. Mindful of this duty I resolved 
 
30 B Soul's pilgrimage 
 
 for the time being to couple my work in the 
 ministry with some such employment as would 
 enable me to render the home cares less burden- 
 some. The Superiors of the society entered 
 heartily into these views, and it was arranged that 
 I should go to Paris, remaining still under their 
 spiritual direction, and prepare myself there to 
 receive Holy Orders, engaging meanwhile in such 
 work as I was able to do. 
 
 At the moment of leaving the novitiate, the 
 master of the novices gave me this certificate, 
 which I still possess : 
 
 " I certify that the Abbe Miel, of the diocese of 
 Besanqon, spent more than a year in our house of 
 probation at Avignon to study his vocation to the 
 religious life, and that during all that time he was 
 a model of good conduct and piety. I certify, 
 besides, that if he leaves us, he does so of his own 
 free will and not because the superiors do not 
 desire him amongst them. 
 
 "Given at Avignon, March i, 1843, 
 
 " De Jocas, 
 ' 'Rector of the Novitiate. ' ' 
 
CHAPTER III. 
 
 IN PARIS. 
 
 ON arriving in Paris, I immediately put myself 
 under the direction of the most celebrated 
 and certainly the most gifted of all the Jesuits 
 I have ever met, Pere de Ravignan, the Lenten 
 preacher of Notre Dame, and the contemporary of 
 Lacordaire, who at that time preached the Advent 
 course in the same cathedral. It was my earnest 
 desire to prepare myself in the best possible way 
 to fill as worthily as I could the sacred duties of 
 the ministry. Having made sure of a means of 
 living by giving two or three hours each day 
 to teaching, I devoted the rest of my time to per- 
 sonal culture. Seldom has a young man had finer 
 opportunities for intellectual growth than I at this 
 time. For France, the last years of Louis Philippe 
 were perhaps the most brilliant of the century. In 
 every department of learning and letters talent was 
 represented by illustrious men. In poetry, Victor 
 Hugo and Lamartine ; in parliament, Berryer and 
 Montalembert ; in the government, Guizot and 
 Thiers ; at the Sorbonne, Cousin, Jules Simon, 
 
32 H Soul'a pilgrimage 
 
 Lenormand, Ozanam and Coeur; at the College 
 de France, Michelet and Quinet ; in the pulpit, 
 Lacordaire and de Ravignan. 
 
 I was anxious to learn something from each of 
 these remarkable men. My Sundays were spent 
 in listening to the famous preachers. During the 
 week I distributed my time between the Sorbonne, 
 the Chamber of Deputies, and the Chamber of 
 Peers. Presently, to my great delight, I found 
 myself in relation with such men as Berryer and 
 Montalembert, Jules Simon and Ozanam, Lacor- 
 daire and de Ravignan. The latter, as my spirit- 
 ual director, proved a warm friend as well as a 
 wise and trustworthy guide. Of many intimate 
 conversations with him I retain a sweet remem- 
 brance. His was not only a holy, but a hberal 
 spirit. I was not surprised later when I heard it 
 said that he thought of reasserting his independ- 
 ence by asking the General of the Jesuits to release 
 him from his vows. 
 
 A trait which exhibited the nobility of his feel- 
 ings and the largeness of his views appeared in 
 one of our conversations. One day, troubled with 
 doubts, I opened my heart to him, and, encour- 
 aged by his evident sy.mpathy, ventured to ask the 
 question : "Is there not, my father, some way of 
 recognizing what is true from what is false in reli- 
 gious doctrine ; by which one may avoid the 
 
Hn iParls 33 
 
 necessity of constant reference to authorities, so 
 many of which simply confuse the mind by their 
 conflicting statements?" "There is a way," he 
 replied, " which, in the case of such doubt, I my- 
 self follow and recommend to you. Every doc- 
 trine which tends to elevate the mind and enlarge 
 the heart is true ; and every doctrine which works 
 the contrary effect is false. Follow this principle 
 and you will not fail of the truth." I have done so 
 and am satisfied. 
 
 Presented by this excellent and holy man to the 
 Archbishop of Paris, Monseigneur Affre, two 
 months after my arrival, I was admitted to the 
 subdiaconate, and a year later, the ist of June, 
 1844, was ordained priest in the church of St. 
 Sulpice. The following day I celebrated my first 
 mass in the church of St. Louis d'Antin, which 
 was in the parish where I then lived. 
 
 Much as I desired to devote myself wholly to 
 the work of the ministry, my determination to 
 earn enough to allow me to assist in the educa- 
 tion of my brothers and sisters kept me for a time 
 from engaging in the more active field of the 
 Church's labors. Accordingly, when the lucra- 
 tive post of preceptor and chaplain in the family of 
 the Marquis de Cosse Brissac was offered me, I 
 accepted it. The summer abode of this noble 
 family was the chateau of Blanville, near Chartres. 
 
34 B Soul's pildtimage 
 
 The winter was spent in Paris, where they 
 occupied an apartment close by La Madeleine. 
 Besides my duties in this household, I acted as 
 chaplain at the house of the Comtesse de Gontaut, 
 sister of Cardinal de Rohan, and an intimate 
 friend of my patron, where I had, as clerk of the 
 mass, the first Christian baron, le Baron de Mont- 
 morency. On Sundays I officiated at La Made- 
 leine, and preached there occasionally, having 
 with two other ecclesiastics the oversight of the 
 catechism. 
 
 It was shortly before this that the Society of St. 
 Vincent de Paul was founded. The circumstances 
 which led to its institution are of peculiar in- 
 terest. On a Sunday evening, Ozanam had gath- 
 ered together a few students of the Sorbonne to 
 take tea with him. After a simple repast, he laid 
 before them a plan by which each one was ta un- 
 dertake during the coming week to visit one or 
 two poor families of the neighborhood and report 
 to him on the following Sunday, The enthusiasm 
 of the young men for so practical a form of benev- 
 olent work soon developed, and shortly it became 
 advisable to form the little group into a society 
 the object of which should be just such simple 
 works of charity. From that modest beginning, 
 in the library of this large-hearted man, the asso- 
 ciation has grown until to-day it numbers two 
 
In iparls 
 
 million members ! You may be sure that I was 
 glad of an opportunity to be associated from the 
 first with such a band of zealous men. 
 
 Another society to which it was my privilege to 
 belong, was " Le Cercle Catholique de la rue de 
 Crenelle," which was founded at this time with 
 the object of banding together Catholics of liberal 
 views, clerics as well as laymen. It counted 
 among its members such men as Lacordaire, 
 Ozanam, Montalembert, de Falloux, de Montigny, 
 Riancey, etc. 
 
 It was my honor to represent this society in 
 Dublin at the funeral of the celebrated Irish libera- 
 tor, Daniel O'Connell. My companion was the 
 young Count de Lestanville, who had been chosen 
 by the Society of St. Vincent de Paul as its dele- 
 gate. We set out together, and at Liverpool met 
 the steamer bearing the remains of this distin- 
 guished man. Never shall I forget the sight that 
 greeted us on our arrival in Dublin Bay. A vast 
 throng had gathered in the quay, and after a 
 solemn and awed silence, suddenly burst into a 
 wail of lamentation such as it is given a man only 
 once to hear. It seemed as if the hearts of the 
 bereaved people were breaking with grief As the 
 cortege moved from the quay, the multitude rever- 
 ently followed the catafalque, and kept up a 
 constant dirge until the remains of their hero were 
 
36 U Soul's pilgrimage 
 
 deposited within the church where the funeral 
 service was to be held on the morrow. Few things 
 could have been more imposing than that solemn 
 service, as well as the great procession which 
 followed the precious remains to their last resting 
 place. It was evident, indeed, that Ireland had 
 lost her chief son, and her people mourned for him 
 as a mother mourns for her best beloved. 
 
 Some weeks after our return to Paris, Pere 
 Lacordaire pronounced the funeral oration of 
 Daniel O'Connell at Notre Dame. John O'Con- 
 nell, son of the great statesman, and Member of 
 Parliament, had been invited to be present, while 
 the Catholics of Paris were represented by some of 
 their most illustrious men. No one, perhaps, was 
 better fitted than Pere Lacordaire to perform this 
 solemn office, and his words on that occasion were 
 a worthy tribute of the people of France to the 
 memory of a great man. 
 
 On the evening of the same day, a dinner was 
 given to John O'Connell by the Baron de Mon- 
 tigny at his superb hotel (formerly the hotel 
 Montmorency) in the rue de Babylone. Sixty 
 guests were present, including many Church 
 dignitaries, statesmen, journalists, etc. It was the 
 evening of February 22, 1848 — a. day destined to 
 prove a memorable one in the history of France. 
 Shortly before we sat down, the populace had 
 
Hn Paris 37 
 
 begun to assemble in the streets, and the crowds 
 seemed to be moving toward the Champs Elysees. 
 A valet was dispatched every quarter of an hour 
 to bring us news of what was transpiring. As the 
 reports grew more alarming, the guests became 
 more preoccupied. After dinner, the company 
 broke up into little groups to discuss the situation. 
 A messenger presently brought us more serious 
 tidings, so that the Baron de Villequier exclaimed : 
 " Why, it seems a veritable mob !" To which the 
 prophetic Berryer replied : " Take care that it is 
 not a revolution !" Two days later, Louis Philippe 
 was obliged to flee from the Tuileries, and restless 
 France found herself once more a nation without a 
 ruler. 
 
 It was during the outbreak in June of the same 
 year that the heroic death of the saintly Arch- 
 bishop of Paris, Monseigneur Affre, occurred. 
 The soul of this devout man was deeply moved by 
 the spirit of strife among the people. It cut him 
 to the heart to sec Paris on the verge of a fratri- 
 cidal war, and God's call seemed clear to him, as 
 the spiritual father of the community, not to spare 
 himself in any endeavor to restore order and pro- 
 mote peace. Accordingly, on the morning of the 
 27th, he proceeded to the scene of conflict and 
 mounted the barricades to plead with the populace 
 on the one hand, and the soldiery on the other. 
 
38 a Soul's pflflrimage 
 
 Scarcely had he uttered the words "My chil- 
 dren — " when a shot fired from a neighboring 
 building pierced him and he fell dead before the 
 eyes of the mob. This tragic event was enough. 
 A horror seemed to seize every one at the enormity 
 of the crime, and from that moment the insurrec- 
 tion ceased. Truly the good shepherd giveth his 
 life for the sheep. 
 
 It may be proper in this connection to speak a 
 word about the power of the pulpit in Paris at this 
 time. Perhaps the two most eminent preachers 
 that France has produced are Bossuet and Lacor- 
 daire. Both were the pride of Dijon, their native 
 city. The superiority of Bossuet appeared in what 
 he said, that of Lacordaire, in the way in which he 
 said it. The Otter's eloquence corresponds pre- 
 cisely to the word attributed to Demosthenes and 
 repeated since by Massillon. When asked what 
 were the essential elements of eloquence, the illus- 
 trious Greek is said to have replied : First, action ; 
 secondly, action; thirdly, action. 
 
 I recall an occasion when this principle in the 
 preaching of Lacordaire was illustrated. On a 
 Sunday after Easter, Abbe Castan, a good friend 
 of mine, and I found ourselves almost lost in the 
 immense crowd pouring into Notre Dame to hear 
 the great preacher. The subject he was to treat 
 was the struggle between good and evil, the 
 
Hn ipatis 39 
 
 conflict between the powers of the world and the 
 Church of God. He opened with a paraphrase of 
 the first verses of the second Psalm : " Quare fre- 
 muerunt gentes" * * * p Presently, as the 
 idea began to unfold itself to his marvelous imagin- 
 ation, his thought rose to such a height that my 
 friend whispered to me : " He cannot continue 
 in that strain !" It was true. Human language 
 seemed to fail him. Yet standing there, his face 
 illumined with the great thought, his body swaying 
 under the inspiration of the mighty truth which his 
 tongue refused to utter, he continued his gestures 
 with such descriptive force, that, under the action 
 of that mute eloquence, the assembly seemed to 
 shudder. It was only a few seconds, perhaps, but 
 seemed many minutes. Then the preacher slowly 
 drew back his arm and solemnly laid his hand 
 over his heart. There was a moment of absolute 
 stillness, and then the entire audience gave vent to 
 its feelings in one great, spontaneous outburst of 
 applause. On the following Sunday we were again 
 in our places, and, before the address, the Arch- 
 bishop of Paris felt compelled to request the con- 
 gregation to remember the sacred character of the 
 place and refrain from any outward expression of 
 approval. But such was the eloquence of Lacor- 
 daire in pursuing the same theme, that ere long 
 the Archbishop himself was betrayed into an 
 
40 B Soul's pilgcimase 
 
 unconscious clapping of hands, which was just 
 enough to lift an irksome restraint from an audience 
 hardly able to suppress its feelings. 
 
 Comparing the eloquence of Lacordaire with that 
 of de Ravignan, I do not know of a better descrip- 
 tion than that which was given by my friend, Abbe 
 Castan, one Sunday when we were returning from 
 a sermon by the distinguished Jesuit. We had 
 been talking together of the rare talents of these 
 two men, and I asked what impressions were made 
 upon him by their preaching. " When I have 
 heard Lacordaire," he replied, " I feel inclined to 
 throw myself on his neck ; when I have heard de 
 Ravignan, I feel inclined to throw myself at his 
 feet." Excellent appreciation ! Lacordaire, in 
 preaching, endeavored to make his hearers love 
 religion ; de Ravignan taught them to revere it. 
 
 To hear these men was a great privilege, to know 
 them personally was even a greater. For then it 
 became apparent that it was the choice personal- 
 ity of each, and not the gifts of speech alone, 
 which was the real source of their power. Look- 
 ing back over the past, I have good reason to 
 value every occasion which brought me into con- 
 tact with them. 
 
 Any account of my experience in Paris would be 
 incomplete without a word about my particular 
 friends, whose companionship was one of the 
 
irn ©arts 41 
 
 choicest joys and sweetest satisfactions of my life 
 in that great city. The first, I'Abbe Castan, I have 
 already alluded to. A young man of rare accom- 
 plishments and charming personality ; a nephew of 
 the Archbishop of Paris, and his private secretary, 
 as well as honorary Canon of Paris. Our friendship 
 was most intimate, and many of the happiest expe- 
 riences we enjoyed together. My other friend was 
 M. Olivaint, who had been professor of Philosophy 
 at the College Bourbon, and, in matters religious, 
 was a sceptic. Later he became a Christian and 
 left his position to take the post of preceptor in the 
 family of the Duke de la Rochefoucault. The fact 
 that our pupils were friends, brought us often 
 together, and it was not long before our acquain- 
 tance ripened into warm friendship. Like many 
 others who have accepted the religion of Jesus 
 after years of unbelief, Olivaint became a Christian 
 in deed, as well as in name. To him religion was 
 a reality — a life, as well as a creed. In many ways 
 he revealed the depth of his religious life. One day, 
 I remember, at the beginning of vacation when we 
 were about to separate for a time and were making 
 our adieux to each other, he made this remark 
 (truly characteristic of him) : " And what are we 
 going to do, in order that after our absence we 
 may find ourselves better men than we are to-day ? 
 for there is no holiday in the Christian career.'' 
 
42 a Soul's ptlfltlmagc 
 
 Another characteristic of this man which revealed 
 his true nature, appeared from a glimpse he gave 
 me of the habits of his mind. In the princely 
 house where he lived, the family frequently enter- 
 tained on an elaborate scale. Often he found him- 
 self at table side by side with pretentious persons 
 who had little attention to bestow upon a precep- 
 tor. "What do you do," I asked him, "to over- 
 come the tedium of these prolonged ceremonial 
 dinners?" " I imagine," he replied, " that I have 
 for my neighbor my Divine Master, I converse with 
 Him, and I assure you the hours are full of charm, 
 and the time passes most agreeably." 
 
 Some years later, M. Olivaint entered the Order 
 of the Jesuits and became superior of one of their 
 houses in Paris. He died in 1871, a victim of the 
 Commune, 
 
 My sojourn in Paris might have continued 
 indefinitely had it not been for the unforeseen gen- 
 erosity of an English lady who, though a member 
 of the Anglican communion, showed herself a 
 friend in deed. She had chanced to hear me 
 preach at La Madeleine, and the next day sent me 
 a letter asking if I could recommend a French 
 teacher for her two young cousins. I found her 
 such a governess as she desired, and to prove her 
 gratitude for this trilling favor, she invited me to 
 dine. I accepted, and ere long a warm friendship 
 
In ©arts 43 
 
 sprang up between us. In the course of our 
 acquaintance she discovered what it was that kept 
 me back from devoting myself exclusively to the 
 work of ministry. She immediately proposed to 
 see to it personally that the funds were furnished 
 to provide for the education of my brothers and 
 my sisters, and was so persistent and sincere in her 
 offer that I finally consented. Certainly in my 
 short religious career I had ample reason to believe 
 in two things : the goodness of God, and the nobil- 
 ity of those who have given themselves to his 
 service. 
 
CHAPTER IV. 
 
 LONDON. 
 
 AT this time, the accession to our ranks of John 
 Henry Newman and other distinguished 
 members of the Anglican communion, inspired the 
 champions of Romanism in France with the belief 
 that England was ripe for papacy. Frequent 
 meetings were held among us, and our enthusiasm 
 and zeal for this great end was heightened. I was 
 free at this time to do as I pleased, and being 
 deeply moved by the bright prospects before our 
 Church in Great Britain, I determined to give 
 myself to the work of conversion, and to devote 
 my energies to an enterprise which seemed 
 destined to contribute so largely to the glory and 
 the power of the Holy See. 
 
 My friends were most cordial in their approval 
 of this resolve, and in many happy ways expressed 
 an interest in the step I was about to take. Some 
 of the sweetest evidences of their regard were the 
 books and other gifts they bestowed upon me ; 
 among others, a very tender souvenir from 
 Charles, then Abbe, Gounod. On the evening 
 
XonOon 45 
 
 before my departure, this charming man brought 
 me his surplice, beretta and other personal belong- 
 ings. These were the more precious to me since, 
 shortly after this, Gounod gave up the idea of 
 following the sacred ministry, in order to devote 
 himself without reserve to that noble art which 
 has made his name immortal. 
 
 Arriving in London, I set out immediately to 
 report myself to Cardinal Wiseman for such 
 service as he should think me fitted to undertake. 
 As I had not yet learned to speak English plainly, 
 it was arranged that I should preach as occasion 
 offered at the French church of this great capital, 
 and on Sundays celebrate the military mass at 
 Woolwich for the Roman Catholic soldiers of the 
 garrison. It was not long before my familiarity 
 with English increased, and His Eminence was 
 able to transfer me to the charge of the Catholic 
 mission recently established at Canterbury. Here 
 I preached my first English sermons. An incident 
 happened during my sojourn here which is still 
 fresh in my mind. My hostess was the lady who 
 had founded the Roman Catholic mission. Her 
 near neighbors were two nieces of Sir Walter 
 Scott, women of culture and refinement. Although 
 these ladies were Protestants, they passed many 
 an evening with my friend, and took a lively 
 interest in the object of my mission in England. 
 
4^ B Soul's pitgtimade 
 
 One day they invited me to join them in a visit 
 to the great English cathedral. Upon arriving at 
 a certain part of the sanctuary, " It was here," 
 said one of them, pointing to a spot before us, 
 "that Thomas a Becket was put to death." 
 Now, to me, Thomas a Becket was an illustrious 
 martyr, St. Thomas of Canterbury, and it was in 
 obedience to an actual feeling of reverence that I 
 fell instinctively upon my knees on the spot. 
 When I arose, after some moments of silent 
 prayer, I found my companions strangely im- 
 pressed by this simple and spontaneous act. That 
 it moved them more deeply than I at first 
 imagined, I am led to believe, from the fact that 
 in later years they both became members of the 
 Roman Communion ! 
 
 From Canterbury I was sent to Kingston, on 
 the Thames, to officiate in a beautiful church built 
 there by a converted Jew. It is the same chapel 
 in which the marriage of the Princess Helen of 
 Orleans with the Duke of Aosta took place not 
 long since. Kingston is within easy distance of 
 Claremont, the royal residence which the Queen of 
 England placed at the disposal of the dethroned 
 King of France, Louis Philippe. By special invi- 
 tation I had the high honor to visit there the noble 
 Queen, Marie Amelie, and to receive from her later 
 an exquisite set of sacerdotal vestments for the feast 
 
XonDon 
 
 of the Assumption, as a token of her interest in my 
 work. I saw Her Majesty after this, on several 
 occasions, and was privileged to assist at the cere- 
 mony of the first communion of her grandson, the 
 Comte de Paris. 
 
 From Kingston, I was sent to inaugurate a 
 mission at Chichester. There was no chapel at our 
 disposal in this place, so the services were in the 
 salon of a devout Romanist, a friend of the cardi- 
 nal. In this humble way the work of conversion 
 was begun in this ancient city. As these new-born 
 missions only required my presence on Sunday and 
 two or three days of each week, I was able to 
 spend the rest of my time in London in works 
 tending toward the attainment of my first object. 
 One of the most attractive and engrossing of 
 these was the delivery of a course of fifty lectures 
 on Church History at the house of Lord Granville. 
 Lady Granville, herself a Roman Catholic, hoped by 
 this means to strengthen the cause of Rome among 
 the more influential residents of the metropolis. To 
 this end, she assembled at her house on these occa- 
 sions many Catholic ladies belonging to the aristo- 
 cratic circle, among whom, I remember, was her 
 mother, the Duchess D'Alberg ; Lady Georgina 
 Fullerton, her sister-in-law, a late convert ; the 
 Countess Grey, as well as a number of others. 
 A chapel where I liked to worship from time to 
 
43 a Sours pKgtimase 
 
 time was that of the Oratorians. These men, pre- 
 vious to their conversion, had all been Anglican 
 ecclesiastics, and had made their classical and 
 clerical studies at Oxford, where they were widely 
 known for their piety and scholarship. The 
 Church of Rome had good reason to be proud of 
 such recruits, and fully realized the benefit that 
 had been conferred upon the cause of propaganda 
 , by their accession. The most celebrated was 
 Father, afterwards Cardinal, Newman. Father 
 Faber and Father USWgfens, with whom I had 
 frequent and agreeable interviews, were also re- 
 markable men. Father Newman was at the head 
 of the establishment, and greatly esteemed both as 
 a priest and a preacher. In this last particular I 
 have reason to believe that he did not always come 
 up to his reputation. It was announced that on 
 Holy Thursday he would preach on the Eucharist 
 The Church could not contain the numbers who 
 had come to hear him.. Cardinal Wiseman was 
 there with his secretary, and instead of sitting in 
 his throne, occupied a place in the first row of 
 seats, in order to see and hear the preacher the 
 better. Everyone was prepared for a great utter- 
 ance, in keeping with the day and the solemn sub- 
 ject of the discourse. For one, I was disappointed. 
 For the preacher, in giving a description of the 
 circumstances connected with the Last Supper, 
 
Xon&on 49 
 
 chose to portray it, not according to the Gospels, 
 but according to the revelation of St. Bridget. In 
 the most serious manner the form of the table was 
 described, the place which each of the disciples 
 occupied, the shape and position of the dishes and 
 vases, etc., etc., and all this detail was told in the 
 confident manner of one who was narrating historic 
 facts. I do not believe it would have been possible 
 to find in France a serious preacher, with a respect 
 for his audience, capable of giving them such an 
 instruction. How a man so able and scholarly as 
 Father Newman undoubtedly was could have been 
 betrayed into it, is beyond my comprehension. 
 
 England until now had been looked upon as a 
 missionary territory by the Latin Church, and as 
 was the custom in all countries of this character, 
 the Roman authority was represented, not by 
 bishops, but by apostolic vicars of whom at this 
 time there were four. In the year 1850 Pius IX, 
 supposing from the reports made to him, that the 
 Isle of Saints was about to return to Romanism, 
 divided the country into CathoHc provinces and 
 appointed a bishop at the head of each. This bold 
 act on the part of a foreign prelate aroused the 
 indignation of the English people, and provoked 
 wide-spread and violent opposition. Every even- 
 ing the streets of London were thronged with long 
 and noisy processions, in which the Pope was 
 
50 TL Soul's Pilgrimage 
 
 carried about in effigy and subjected to all manner 
 of insult I suffered more than I can say from this 
 blasphemous abuse, as it seemed to me, of the 
 Head of our Holy Religion — ^the highest repre- 
 sentative of Christ — and I felt it my duty to pro- 
 test, no matter how insignificant my protestation 
 might be. Accordingly, I published successively, 
 two tracts in favor of the papacy, entitled "Rome 
 and the Holy Scriptures " and " Rome and the 
 Primitive Church," with the hope that some Prot- 
 estant minds might see, perchance, the grounds of 
 our claims and the justice of the step taken by His 
 Holiness, Pius IX. 
 
 These publications attracted more notice than I 
 could have hoped for. In the Catholic press they 
 were heralded as timely utterances, and were 
 spoken of as logical and conclusive arguments in 
 favor of the papal supremacy. The Catholic 
 Standard gave considerable space to their review, 
 and the Catholic Vindicator, in concluding its criti- 
 cism of them, said, "The proofs are numerous and 
 overwhelming. To disprove them would require 
 even a sounder head and a stouter heart than 
 those possessed by the chivalrous Cummings, and 
 the redoubtable Hugh McNeil." The Rev. Father 
 Brownbill, Superior of the House of the Jesuits in 
 London, wrote me, on receiving the second pam- 
 phlet : " I beg to offer you my many and sincere 
 
lU>n^on s» 
 
 thanks for the pamphlet I have had the pleasure 
 of receiving from you to-day. I have read it with 
 great satisfaction. I hope many will peruse it, as 
 it is well calculated to instruct and enlighten those 
 who think so wrongly on the subject of which it 
 treats." 
 
 But above all other opinions, I appreciated that 
 expressed in the following letter : 
 
 " I received with true pleasure your pamphlets 
 and your good letters, my dear Abbe ; I thank 
 you with all my heart. God has truly made you 
 an Apostle of England. Continue and spread the 
 good news. I admire the manner in which you 
 are able to write and speak in English. The 
 remembrance of you, be sure of it, remains faithful 
 in the depths of my soul. Au revoir, then, till it 
 please the Lord. Believe in my very tender 
 attachment, 
 
 " DE Ravignan, S. J. 
 
 "Paris, 2 1 St February, 1851." 
 
 The Protestant journals whose attention was 
 excited by these pamphlets, of course judged them 
 differently. One amongst them, Bell's Weekly 
 Messenger, published a series of articles in which 
 the scriptural texts and historic references were 
 the object of severe criticism.^ The author of 
 
52 a Soul's IMlgrlmage 
 
 these articles, Mr. Charles Hastings CoUette, one 
 of the glories of Oxford, and a man deeply versed 
 in the writings of the Fathers, as well as the his- 
 tory of the first Christian ages, announced to me 
 his intention, in a polite letter, in which he gave 
 me entire credit for sincerity, of pointing out that 
 the facts upon which my arguments were founded 
 were either fabrications or else falsely stated. 
 Sure of having advanced only those points which 
 conform to the teaching of the most esteemed 
 authors of CathoHc history, and acting besides 
 under the impression which prevails among 
 Roman Catholics, namely, that honesty is not to 
 be expected from Protestants in a religious con- 
 troversy, I did not feel it my duty to reply to his 
 very civil note. My silence did not seem to dis- 
 courage him, for in the course of a few days he 
 wrote me four other letters, which in turn failed to 
 elicit a reply. 
 
 One morning, I heard a knock at the door of 
 the house where I lived, and as the servant was 
 absent, I went to open the door. I found myself 
 face to face with a gentleman of distinguished 
 appearance, who handed me his card, and to my 
 astonishment I read the name of my correspondent 
 and adversary, "Charles Hastings Collette." Com- 
 mon courtesy obliged me to receive him. Without 
 ado, he announced the purpose of his visit by 
 
Xon&on 53 
 
 repeating in a decided voice what he had written, 
 declaring that he had perfect faith in my sincerity, 
 that the pamphlets were marked with a stamp of 
 honesty, and that had it been otherwise he would 
 have disdained any dealings with me. Then he 
 stated that he was ready to prove to me that I had 
 been mistaken in many of the texts quoted and of 
 the facts submitted in my argument " Without 
 doubt," he said, " you have drawn your knowledge 
 from the most estimable sources known to you. 
 But these sources are far too modern. I ask you 
 but one thing and that, as a man of honor, which 
 I take you to be, you cannot honestly refuse me. 
 It is to consult not Protestant books, but the writ- 
 ings of Catholics of an earlier date than the Coun- 
 cil of Trent, of whose authenticity and authority 
 there can be no question. To this effect, I pray 
 you to make conscientious researches in the 
 library of the British Museum, where such docu- 
 ments abound. I shall secure you the necessary 
 permission to consult these works, and as the 
 librarian is my friend, I shall ask him to help you 
 in your investigations, and we shall see what con- 
 clusions such a study will lead to." 
 
 By refusing to accede to such a request, I should 
 have given proof of a want of love for truth, and 
 so sure was I of my ground and the historical 
 validity of my argument, that I did not hesitate to 
 
54 B Soul's pilstimage 
 
 accede to the wish of this ardent and courte- 
 ous opponent. For a fortnight I spent all of 
 my afternoons in searching those books which 
 could enlighten me on so grave a subject- 
 By faithful study, I was able to compare the 
 facts as I had been taught them, with the facts 
 as the early Church historians stated them. The 
 result of this investigation was as painful to me as 
 it was satisfactory to Mr. Collette. On all the con- 
 tested points I found that the weight of authority 
 was against my position. I shall quote but one of 
 these, but that one will be decisive. 
 
 Among all the treatises on Dogmatic Theology 
 in use in my day in the high seminaries of the 
 Church, the one most esteemed was the work of 
 Cardinal Gousset, perhaps the greatest Roman 
 theologian of the century. In this work the sixth 
 canon of the Council of Nice (A.D. 325) is thus 
 written : 
 
 " Ecclesia Romana semper habuit pritnatum." 
 From this pretended canon one draws irresisti- 
 ble conclusions. That the first ecumenical coun- 
 cil, although composed almost exclusively of 
 bishops from the East, who would naturally look 
 with jealousy upon the growing influence of the 
 See of Rome, should have found itself obliged to 
 witness to the truth of her supremacy by a 
 special canon, declaring that from the beginning 
 
XonDon SS 
 
 Rome had had the primacy, surely no more posi- 
 tive assertion could be made of the fact which 
 Protestant historians repudiated so decidedly. 
 
 Resting secure upon my knowledge of this 
 canon, I was almost stunned to find that the orig- 
 inal form of the canon, as enacted by the Council, 
 was quite different from that which I had been 
 taught. The sixth canon simply states that Rome 
 had a relative primacy. The plan before the Coun- 
 cil was to transform the See of Alexandria into a 
 patriarchate, and so the canon states. As the 
 Bishop of Rome has the primacy over the bishops 
 of the suburban cities, in the same way it is fitting 
 that the Bishop of Alexandria should occupy a 
 similar rank with regard to the bishops of Lower 
 Egypt. Manifestly, the part that had been sup- 
 pressed in our manuals put an entirely different 
 complexion upon the subject. 
 
 This discovery, and others like it, came to me 
 as a severe shock. I requested the librarian to 
 permit me to carry away and keep until the next 
 day the collection of the Acts of Councils where I 
 had found the canons in their original integrity. 
 He consented, and I lost no time in finding Car- 
 dinal Wiseman. I asked him if there was any 
 doubt of the authenticity of the sixth canon of 
 Nice, as it is given in our manuals of theology. 
 " None that I know of," he replied. I then showed 
 
S6 a Sonl's pilgrimafle 
 
 him my volume and said, " It is a Catholic publi- 
 cation, old, it is true, but only the more to be 
 trusted on that account Here are the terms in 
 which the sixth canon is expressed." His Emi- 
 nence appeared very much astonished, and as he 
 perceived that I suffered from something more 
 than astonishment, he advised me not to attach too 
 much importance to the matter. I left him to call 
 upon the Jesuits, but my interview with my 
 spiritual director, Father Brownbill, gave me no 
 more satisfaction than that with the Cardinal. For 
 the first time in my life, I found myself in a pecu- 
 liarly painful state of mind — assailed by doubt and 
 with no friend to turn to. 
 
 Now, to entertain doubt is regarded as one of 
 the greatest sins by the Roman Church — a species 
 of interior apostasy to be dealt with in the most 
 rigorous way ; and as in the teachings of the mas- 
 ters of the spiritual life, there is, in the tem^tions 
 
 Here is the Sixth Canon of the Council of Nice : 
 
 Title: De patriarcha Magnae Alexandriae. 
 
 Ut toti praesideat jEgypto, ejusque provinciis, quem- 
 admodum Romanus et Antiochenus. 
 
 Episcopus ^gypti, nimirum Magnae Alexandriae 
 patriarcha, toti praesideat ^gypto et omnibus ejus provinciis 
 adjacentibusque civitatibus eis subjectis, quoniam ita con- 
 venit Episcopo Romano, nempe patriarchae successori 
 Petri, ut pisesideat etiam omnibus suis provinciis et regioni- 
 
XonOon 57 
 
 against faith, as in those against purity, one sole 
 remedy — flight : after a long interior struggle, I 
 determined to fly, and to have nothing more to do 
 with Protestants, to avoid all matters of contro- 
 versy, and to devote myself exclusively to works 
 of zeal in Catholic countries. 
 
 .bus quae ei subjectae sunt. Pariter Episcopus Antiochiae 
 nempe patriarcha ejus prsesideat omnibus provinciis et 
 regionibus ei subjectis. In aliis regionibus antiquus 
 servetur mos ecclesiae, nimirum quod in proeterito consti- 
 tutum et servatum est. 
 
CHAPTER V. 
 
 FIAT lux! 
 
 THE times were favorable for this purpose. 
 The Secular Jubilee was about to be cele- 
 brated in France by missions in the leading 
 churches. I had been invited to take part in sev- 
 eral of these missions as preacher and confessor. 
 This now appeared to me providential, the more 
 so as the subjects treated in the pulpit on such 
 occasions, sin, repentance, death, judgment, etc., 
 are almost strangers to controversy. I accepted 
 my invitations, therefore, with a kind of desperate 
 gratitude, and during more than two months passed 
 each day part of my time in the pulpit and con- 
 fessional. 
 
 The time came when, although I had still many 
 engagements, I found myself completely worn out 
 and forced to think of rest. But the rest that my 
 mind craved I could not find. More than ever, 
 from the moment I began to reflect, doubt assailed 
 me. It was there, always present and active in my 
 thoughts ; try as I would to turn my mind into 
 other channels, I could not get beyond the reach 
 
jFlat %m ! 59 
 
 of its persistent demands for a hearing. Then it was 
 that the course which until that day had seemed 
 condemnable, now appeared obligatory. Without 
 enlightening any one as to what was passing 
 within me, I resolved to make a serious and can- 
 did examination of my faith as a Roman Catholic. 
 I entered upon this examination by an inde- 
 pendent and careful study of the New Testament. 
 I had read the books through so often that I could 
 recite from memory many of their principal pas- 
 sages ; but this reading had in view personal 
 edification rather than instruction and doctrinal 
 criticism. Now I approached the sacred writings 
 to be enlightened in a new and broader way — to 
 learn from the lips of the Divine Master of the 
 nature of that kingdom He had come to establish. 
 As I advanced in a reverent study of His teach- 
 ings, they appeared more and more unlike the 
 claims of His vicar. There, not one of the doc- 
 trines upon which Rome lays especial stress and 
 upon the acceptance of which she makes salvation 
 depend, was found to have a warrant in the teach- 
 ings of Jesus. On the contrary, the spirit of the 
 Master, divinely simple and sublimely humble, 
 appeared in striking contrast with the presumption 
 of those who count themselves His only legitimate 
 successors. The character of Christ and the char- 
 acter of this proud Church — how far apart and 
 
6o B Soul'a pilgrimage 
 
 how widely different ! My studies began to force 
 me to irresistible conclusions. At the turn of each 
 new page I seemed to be driven further and further 
 away from my original position. At length, my self- 
 imposed task came to an end, leaving me with the 
 painful knowledge that the teachings of the Church 
 of which I was a member were strangely out of 
 accord with the plain and evident truths of Holy 
 Writ. 
 
 After that, recalling the saying of the sage that the 
 best writings on religion were those forbidden by 
 the Congregation of the Index, I allowed myself to 
 pass over this interdiction, and, among other works, 
 I read with a lively interest "L'Histoire de la 
 Civilisation en Europe et en France," by M. 
 Guizot. The manifest spirit of sincerity, the 
 largeness of view, the historical science which this 
 work reveals impressed me so deeply and pro- 
 duced such a change in my manner of appreciating 
 things, that I felt sure its talented author could 
 help me in my present dilemma. To unburden 
 myself to this great man, might seem to him a 
 strange tribute to his genius ; yet, so deep was my 
 longing for counsel and guidance just at this time, 
 that I felt such a course was justifiable, and 
 believed that he would not take my confidence 
 amiss. Accordingly, I addressed the following 
 letter to M. Guizot : 
 
ffiat Xui ! 6 1 
 
 "To M. GuizoT — 
 
 " Sir : Another than you might find the step 
 now taken by the most unknown of your admirers 
 indiscreet and daring. The dignity of your char- 
 acter and the elevation of your thoughts are pre- 
 cisely what render me bold and furnish me with an 
 excuse ; and I dare promise myself that you will 
 find this letter an indisputable testimony of the 
 confidence that great talents in a great soul can 
 inspire. I have read and re-read, sir, your history 
 of civilization in Europe and in France. I need 
 not say that the study of this immortal work has 
 enchanted me as it has so many others, nor is it 
 with this design that I trace these lines. It is 
 confidences and not compliments that I take the 
 liberty of making you. 
 
 "Then, sir, the historical science which your book 
 reveals, the stamp of moderation and sincerity 
 which mark its pages have impressed me vividly, 
 and, to confess it candidly, have, together with 
 similar studies along analogous lines, confirmed 
 me in a grave condition of doubt, by which my 
 mind is deeply distressed. What is doubt to my 
 ignorance, must be certainty to such a mind as 
 yours; otherwise one must despair of a positive 
 knowledge of religious truth here below. I come, 
 then, to pray you, in the name of that large charity 
 with which I know you to be animated, to be so 
 
62 H Soul'e pildtimase 
 
 good as to say one word which may prove a ray 
 of light to me, and show me the path to follow in 
 the crisis in which my soul now finds itself. Here 
 is my question, put as briefly as possible : Do you 
 think that the claims of the Church of Rome, to be 
 the sole, legitimate and infallible interpreter of the 
 doctrines of the^^Saviour, are both historical and 
 evangelical ? In other words : Do you think that 
 a true disciple of Christ ought to be Roman Cath- 
 olic rather than Protestant ? 
 
 " You are the first and only person to whom I 
 have opened my heart on this subject, and upon 
 the answer which you will deign to give to this 
 entirely confidential letter, may depend my future. 
 Anxiously awaiting your reply, I am, with deep 
 respect, etc., etc." 
 
 This was addressed simply to M. Guizot, Paris, 
 and though I looked anxiously and long for an 
 answer, to my deep disappointment none came. 
 Whether the letter never reached its destination, 
 or whether M. Guizot mistrusted its motive, I ha,d 
 no means of ascertaining. 
 
 Not judging it opportune to take any one else 
 into my confidence, I resolved to think and act for 
 myself and on my own responsibility. The more 
 I studied and reflected, the more my faith in the 
 fundamental doctrines of Romanism weakened, 
 and I felt that before long not only my opinions 
 
jFiat Xui ! 63 
 
 but also my conscience would impose upon me 
 the duty of abjuration. 
 
 As such a step on my part could not but bring 
 me personally the gravest consequences, deeply 
 afflict my best friends, and, worst of all, carry deso- 
 lation into the bosom of my family, I felt bound to 
 make a last effort by going to Rome and studying 
 the system on the spot, in its immediate appli- 
 cation. 
 
 As I had not revealed to any of my friends 
 what was passing within me, when they learned 
 that I was preparing to go to the seat of the 
 Roman Church, they entirely misinterpreted the 
 object of this journey and congratulated me on 
 my resolution. Several prelates, the Cardinal 
 Archbishop of Besangon among them, sent me 
 letters of recommendation of the most flattering 
 kind. All supposed I was about to make what is 
 called a pilgrimage ad lintina apostolorum. They 
 had a natural reason for believing this, as they 
 were aware I had received from the Vatican 
 special privileges and more recently had been 
 extended the widest powers in the matter of indul- 
 gences such as the " Altare privilegiatum per- 
 sonale," of which I have the titles still in my pos- 
 session. 
 
 In my unsettled condition of mind, it did not 
 seem to me the time to express my fears and 
 
64 B Soul's ptlgtimage 
 
 apprehensions, but before setting out upon a path 
 full of trials and uncertainties, I took occasion to 
 give from the pulpit an open declaration of the 
 manner in which I then understood the religion of 
 Jesus. This was the last sermon which I pro- 
 nounced before a Roman Catholic assembly, and 
 as it reveals my personal appreciation of Chris- 
 tianity at this time, an abstract is here given : 
 
 There is a duty founded on nature and imposed 
 by religion, which embraces all others, the faithful 
 fulfillment of which would make of all nations one 
 great family and would be for each of us the prin- 
 ciple of the highest virtues and the source of the 
 sweetest enjoyments ; a duty, on the other hand, 
 from the violations of which proceed all the 
 envyings, all the hatreds, all the crimes which 
 devastate the world ; — this duty, so important and 
 so much ignored, is that of Brotherly Love. I 
 shall speak to you of it this morning, my brothers, 
 at this last of our meetings. 
 
 To-day, after the example of our Divine Lord, I 
 have come to say at the moment of leaving you : 
 This is my earnest wish, my parting request, that 
 you love one another. 
 
 We must acknowledge this heavenly doctrine of 
 fraternal love, though founded on the most press- 
 ing wants of the heart and expressing its noblest 
 
fftat Xux ! 65 
 
 aspirations, as a distinctly new doctrine. Before 
 our Saviour came to declare it, human society was 
 divided into two great classes, the one looking with 
 hatred and suspicion on the other. A thousand 
 distinctions created by pride caused an immense 
 chasm between hearts. To bridge this abyss, to 
 obliterate all false distinctions between classes and 
 conditions of men, the Divine One came with the 
 Gospel of universal love : His own peculiar Gos- 
 pel, a new commandment, as He calls it, because 
 only fully brought to Hght by the character of His 
 life and the purity of His precepts. 
 
 O, turn again to contemplate the greatness of 
 that divine love which inspired the Redeemer's 
 soul, happy earth which He moistened with His 
 sweat, ungrateful Jerusalem over which He shed 
 His tears, guilty Magdalen whose anointing He 
 permitted, httle children upon whom He lavished 
 His tenderness, and you mothers, sisters, and deso- 
 late wives whose tears He wiped, and you, infirm 
 and afflicted of all sorts, whom He healed, and you, 
 poor whom He honored and helped with His affec- 
 tion, tell us if there has ever lived a heart more 
 loving, more compassionate, more deeply con- 
 cerned for the happiness of a sinning and suffering 
 people. Surely it was not needed that signs from 
 heaven should testify of His divinity, for the heart 
 which can carry the burdens and sorrows of even 
 
66 B Soul's pflgiimade 
 
 the most forsaken, which can make room for the 
 griefs and toils and cares of the hapless multitude, 
 is filled without measure with the life and love of 
 God. 
 
 And this is the reason why He says to His 
 chosen: "By this shall all men know that ye 
 are my disciples, if ye have love one to another." 
 The distinctive mark by which the true disciple 
 is known, is the same mark by which the Master 
 was known, — love. He alone who truly loves his 
 brother is worthy of the honor of being called 
 Christian ; it matters not what may be his name, 
 his colors, his symbol. Whether he be a devout 
 Catholic, a priest, a bishop or even a supreme pon- 
 tiff in the Church of Christ, unless he bears on his 
 heart the stamp of the Saviour's love, he is none of 
 His. 
 
 Remember, beloved, what the Samaritans were 
 to the Jews, — an object of contempt and hatred 
 because of their religious differences. The syna- 
 gogue had anathematized them, so that to the 
 chosen people their very name was an abomina- 
 tion. A learned doctor once asked Jesus : "Mas- 
 ter, what must I do to gain eternal life ? " The 
 Master replied : " What is written in the law ? 
 * * * Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with 
 all thy heart and thy neighbor as thyself; this do 
 and thou shalt live." " But who is my neighbor ? " 
 
jrfat Xur I 67 
 
 the lawyer asks. My brothers, you recall the 
 answer ; it was not the priest or the Levite, for they 
 shamefully passed the wounded traveller by. It 
 was the schismatic, the excommunicated, the hated 
 Samaritan who stopped and took the bleeding man 
 in his arms, pouring oil into his wounds, and set- 
 ting him upon his own beast. To a neighboring 
 inn he carried him and commended him to the host 
 as his own brother. Nor does he leave him u'ntil 
 he has provided fully for his wants. This good 
 Samaritan, though a religious outcast, rejected by 
 the synagogue and despised by the Jews, is he 
 upon whom the Son of God looked with favor — he 
 who has fulfilled the divine precept, he who will 
 possess eternal life. 
 
 And how admirably was this great lesson 
 learned by the first disciples of the Master 1 It is 
 St. John, the one who had formerly asked that fire 
 might descend from heaven to destroy these very 
 Samaritans, who finally learned his Master's lesson 
 so completely that he never tired of repeating 
 these beautiful words : " Love one another." It 
 is St. Paul who, though formerly a Pharisee of the 
 strictest sect of the Jews, cried out in a sublime 
 ecstacy of feeling : " Though I speak with the 
 tongues of men and of angels and have not charity, 
 I am become as sounding brass and a tinkling cym- 
 bal." How great must have been the surprise when 
 
68 H Soul'e pilgrtmagc 
 
 this new-born society of believers appeared in 
 the world ! They seemed as new men who had but 
 one heart and one soul, who sought no other glory 
 than that of being useful, no other interest but the 
 interest of all. At this spectacle men awoke and 
 hearts were moved. " See how these Christians 
 love one another," the pagans exclaimed, and 
 those who resisted the eloquent message of the 
 apostles, and that more eloquent still of the mar- 
 tyrs, found themselves at last won over by the 
 influence of a fraternity until then unknown. 
 
 O, days of our greatness, why have you so 
 quickly vanished ! Holy Religion, thou appearest 
 still to reign in the world ; thy worship is beauti- 
 ful, thy solemnities are imposing, thy altars are 
 brilliant, but it is only the semblance of a great- 
 ness and of a power that are no more ! O heavenly 
 Charity, come down and reign anew in our midst, 
 that hatred and envy may disappear from amongst 
 those who bear the name of Christ — that we may 
 at length see every veil of division swept away and 
 the old barriers of pride and prejudice broken 
 down — that all men everywhere may be gathered 
 into one fold under one shepherd and learn anew 
 the joy of worshiping God as members of one 
 divine family ! O precious gift of love, come and 
 fill our hearts, bring heaven down to earth again, 
 so that we may pursue our course here below as 
 
3fiat 3Lux! 69 
 
 citizens of a heavenly kingdom ; and grant us so 
 to live under thy holy inspiration, that when our 
 last summons comes, we may commit our souls 
 into the hands of God with the prayer : O our 
 Judge, who art also our Father, forgive us as we 
 have forgiven others, and let the sentence which 
 shall determine our destiny be dictated by mercy 
 as our own feelings and acts have been ruled by 
 charity ! 
 
CHAPTER VI. 
 
 IN ROME. 
 
 IT was my intention to remain six months in the 
 Holy City. Circumstances compelled me to 
 leave in one month. Yet, during that brief period, 
 I saw and learned enough to satisfy me that the 
 Capital of the Roman world was the last place for 
 one to visit in my frame of mind. It may be that 
 I was not in a condition to judge impartially. 
 Perhaps the temper of my thoughts was over- 
 critical, too susceptible to adverse impressions. I 
 had resolved, it is true, to investigate fearlessly 
 and study frankly all that bore upon my religious 
 position. Nevertheless every private interest, 
 home-ties, the love and respect of friends, present 
 position and future prospects, would naturally have 
 induced me to see things in their most favorable 
 light. If the facts were to lead me to separate 
 from the Church of Rome, it would be only 
 because the facts were too glaring and emphatic 
 to be glossed over. 
 
 I pass by the vexations to which we were sub- 
 jected on arriving at Civita Vecchia at the hands 
 
iTn iRomc 7' 
 
 of the gendarmes, the custom's officers and the 
 countless horde of faquini. Suffice it to say that 
 rather than to render any useful service, the aim of 
 this hungry mob seemed to be to make our way 
 as unpleasant and expensive as possible. Our 
 passports proved a fruitful source of revenue to 
 the many who pretended to a right to examine 
 them. No doubt we were found to be easy 
 victims of this sort of brigandage, and I confess 
 that our surprise and disgust was so great, that we 
 failed to make a vigorous protest. We reached 
 the Eternal City at last, poorer in pocket but 
 richer in experience. 
 
 Having settled in fairly comfortable lodgings, I 
 proceeded to make myself familiar with the city. 
 The churches first absorbed my attention. What 
 shall I say of their dignity and splendor, their 
 wealth and magnificence? What shall I say of 
 the vast number of monks and priests and pre- 
 lates who throng these stately buildings and 
 testify to the power and prestige of this great 
 Church and lend an air of grandeur to its an- 
 cient seat? Certainly here the religion of Jesus 
 should be at its best. Here we should find the 
 purest morality and the deepest spiritual life. 
 Here charity and good works, the distinctive 
 marks of the disciples of Christ, should abound 
 without measure. Rome should lead the world 
 
72 B Soul's pilgrimage 
 
 in all that is noble and holy and gracious in 
 religion. 
 
 The pain of a bitter disenchantment was in store 
 for me. I had been but a short time in the 
 city when a revolting sense of the unreality of 
 its religious life took possession of me. Every 
 day seemed to deepen that unwelcome impression. 
 I found myself going from place to place in increas- 
 ing amazement at the squalor and ignorance and 
 vice visible and openly present at each new turn. 
 Instead of righteousness and piety and a sweet rev- 
 erence among the people, coarseness and unclean- 
 ness and degrading superstition. Education and 
 self-respect, these choice fruits of Christianity, 
 where had they concealed themselves ? On the 
 one hand, the luxury of the prelates ; on the other, 
 the profound misery of the people ; on this side, 
 churches of surpassing stateliness; on that, homes 
 of the poor, unspeakable in their filthiness ; here, a 
 cleric in gorgeous attire; there, a beggar in hideous 
 and noisome rags. How could I escape the 
 shameful meaning of such a contrast ! One would, 
 indeed, have had to be a slave to prejudice to 
 overlook this disgusting travesty of the religion of 
 Him who came to preach the Gospel to the poor, 
 to heal the broken hearted, to set at Uberty those 
 who are bruised. 
 
 And what do these men do — ^this multitude of 
 
Hn IRome 73 
 
 priests ? I asked myself again and again. Do they 
 not see the wretched condition of the people — and 
 have they no concern for the public distress and 
 ignorance and immorality ? I could not discover a 
 single sign of a real and genuine interest in such 
 matters, nor did I learn of any organized effort to 
 lift these people from their hapless plight. The 
 dignitaries of the Church were occupied with other 
 things. Their time was taken up with affairs of a 
 more imposing nature. Resplendent ceremonies 
 now at this altar, now at that ; the keeping of great 
 festivals and the observance of great occasions. 
 The city seemed wholly given up to idolatry and 
 enamored with the spectacle of an elaborate 
 worship. Even this might mean something, did it 
 only inspire the people with a deeper reverence and 
 regard for sacred things. But it was evident that 
 even these solemn functions possessed no real 
 solemnity — it was not an awe of God that held the 
 crowd, but a stupid wonder and admiration of 
 those gorgeously robed men who served at the 
 altar. At St. Peter's, St. Jean de Latran, St. Paul 
 extra Muros, Santa Trinita del Monte it was 
 always the same, a wanton display of religious 
 pomp and ceremonial without heart, without devo- 
 tion, without any spiritual reality. 
 
 On Christmas I attended the midnight office at 
 St. Maria Maggiore. The church was dazzling with 
 
74 B Soul's pilgrimage 
 
 lights and ornaments, the ceremony was most 
 pretentious. Among all the princes of the Church, 
 I liked the appearance of the Pope alone. His 
 face was sympathetic, and he seemed erfibar- 
 rassed by the many singular honors conferred 
 upon him. 
 
 The assembly had more the appearance of taking 
 part in a worldly gathering than a religious service. 
 The frivolity of the people, their free conversation, 
 prevented one from believing that they were con- 
 scious of being in a holy place. One is permitted 
 to doubt if a single soul carried away any feeling 
 of edification. 
 
 The feast of the Epiphany found me at the Sis- 
 tine Chapel. What a spectacle is that mass in the 
 presence of the Pope ! The chamberlains grouped 
 like dogs at the feet of their masters, the cardin- 
 als ; the officiating clergy carelessly lolling on the 
 altar steps in their sacerdotal vestments, during the 
 preaching, turning their backs upon the cross and 
 the tabernacle. Then that meaningless series of 
 perfunctory honors, kissing of hands, kissing of the 
 feet of the Pope, which seems to be given in lieu of 
 the homage due to Christ in the Host upon the altar. 
 Nothing to remind one that this is the House of 
 God. The triple pontifical crown everywhere, on 
 the walls right and left, at the entrance and in the 
 sanctuary, tells the story truly. It is not the 
 
Hn iRome 75 
 
 cross of Christ but the crown of the Pontiff that 
 these people reverence. 
 
 I came away from this service resolved to follow 
 the direction of my own conscience, cost what it 
 might. It was then that an unforeseen incident 
 happened which served to help me in this decision. 
 I was boarding in a family whose chief religious 
 devotion seemed to consist in reciting the rosary 
 together in order to obtain a favorable number at the 
 Tombola. These people knew that I was a priest, 
 and having observed that, unlike other priests, I 
 did not say the daily mass, they indicated in many 
 ways that they were suspicious of my orthodoxy. 
 I had reason to believe that they would not keep 
 this suspicion to themselves, and so it seemed well 
 to me to seek another lodging. 
 
 Finding on the door of a house on the Piaza di 
 Spagna, the notice ■" Chambres a louer," I entered 
 and ascended the stairs to examine them. As I 
 passed through the hall, my eye was caught by a 
 door-plate bearing the inscription " Rev. Charles 
 Baird, Chaplain of the American Legation." This 
 discovery seemed to me providential. I had 
 never conversed with a Protestant minister. In 
 obedience to a strange impulse, I knocked and 
 entered. Mr. Baird himself was within and received 
 me with marked politeness. I was a stranger to 
 this man, and yet I found myself in a few moments 
 
76 B Soul's pilgrimage 
 
 explaining to him my peculiar position. His evi- 
 dent sympathy and kindness inspired me to tell 
 him all. And I felt more than repaid for my con- 
 fidence by the affectionate and tender way he 
 received it. After a few comforting and encour- 
 aging words, he said : " You cannot doubt of my 
 profound sympathy in the religious crisis to which 
 you have been led, and I shall be happy to meet 
 and talk with you again ; but it cannot be in this 
 place. Everything which passes in my apartment 
 is watched. Only a few weeks ago a monk, tor- 
 mented as you now are by doubt, and who had 
 come to confer with me two or three times, disap- 
 peared. I have not heard from him or of him 
 since ; and I would not be surprised if it is already 
 known that you are here. Do not return to these 
 rooms. I will appoint a place of meeting where 
 there will not be the same risk." I promised to 
 do as Mr. Baird had told me and left him my 
 address. 
 
 Some days later, as I was walking from the 
 "Jesu" to the Capitol, where two streets cross, I 
 was suddenly accosted by two men, who threw 
 themselves upon me, and while one covered my 
 mouth to prevent an outcry, the other rifled 
 my pockets. I supposed my purse had been 
 taken, but no, it was safe ! My portfolio, 
 containing precious papers, my passport and 
 
•ffn "Rome 77 
 
 letters of recommendation, from the Archbishop 
 of Besanqon among them, was gone. I went 
 at once to the police prefecture, hard by, and 
 asked to speak to the prefect himself I told 
 him what had occurred, and he expressed surprise. 
 He inquired if there was any money or money- 
 order in my portfolio. I told him there was not — 
 nothing but private papers and letters, valuable 
 to me, but useless to any one else. Thereupon this 
 worthy officer said : "If these men are ordinary 
 thieves and find that its 'contents are of no value 
 to them, they will likely bring them to us : you 
 had better leave with us some little indemnity to 
 pay them for their trouble." 
 
 This affair seemed to me more serious than I 
 had thought at first, and without further delay I 
 sought the office of the French ambassador. 
 Happily, he knew me, being, as I was, a member 
 of the "Cercle Catholique." At first he seemed 
 glad to see me ; but when I told him what had 
 just happened, his countenance grew grave. "Al- 
 low me to ask you a question," he said: " How 
 do you stand from a religious point of view ?" I 
 thought it right to tell him frankly the reason for 
 my presence in Rome. " That truly grieves me," 
 he said. " You know I am a Catholic. Neverthe- 
 less, in the present case, I must act as an ambas- 
 sador of France. I know you to be a reputable 
 
78 a Soul'e pUsrimaee 
 
 citizen : I shall give you a new passport on this 
 condition : — you must leave Rome in twenty-four 
 hours. During that time I take you under my 
 protection, but if you remain longer, I will not be 
 responsible for the outcome." He then told me 
 the experience of the Abbe Laborde who had 
 been sent by the Archbishop of Paris to protest 
 against the proclamation of the new dogma of 
 the Immaculate Conception. Upon his arrival he 
 was speedily taken in hand and shut up in the 
 Chateau St. Ange. His liberation was only se- 
 cured after severe threats on the part of the 
 French Government. 
 
 After leaving the ambassador with this assurance 
 of protection, I went at once to Mr. Baird. " What 
 has happened does not surprise me," he said, upon 
 learning of my misadventure. " Well, now that 
 you are in security for twenty-four hours longer, 
 we can see something of you. Come to-morrow 
 to our service at ten o'clock. Afterwards we shall 
 breakfast together, and at one o'clock you can take 
 the diligence for Civita Vecchia." I acted 
 according to the desire of my new friend, in 
 whom I was happy to find a true Christian gentle- 
 man, and on the morrow, which was Sunday, I 
 attended for the first time a Protestant service 
 and that in the very centre of Romanism. Since 
 my arrival in the Holy City, this was the only 
 
ITn IRome 79 
 
 occasion when I was truly edified and comforted 
 by a religious service. In the simplicity and mani- 
 fest sincerity of that brief period of devotion, I 
 found what I had failed to find in all the pomp 
 and ceremony of the great churches — an atmos- 
 phere of reverence and faith, a worship of God in 
 spirit and in truth. 
 
 My last impressions before leaving the Papal 
 City have been written thus : 
 
 Jesus and His Pretended Vicar : — The Pope 
 pretends to be vicar of Christ ; he is in fact the 
 opposite. Jesus has said : " Learn of me, for I 
 am meek and lowly of heart. I did not come to be 
 served, but to serve." The Pope pretends that 
 every human creature, even sovereigns, must bow 
 down before him as his humblest servants. Jesus 
 has said : " My kingdom is not of this world ; " 
 the Pope pretends to reign over the whole world. 
 Jesus never dogmatized ; the Pope formulates and 
 promulgates dogmas to which every human soul 
 should subscribe. On the day of his greatest 
 triumph Christ entered Jerusalem mounted on an 
 ass, amidst the acclamations of the poor he had 
 come to evangelize ; the Pope enters St. Peter's 
 carried on a magnificent throne by prelates magnifi- 
 cently dressed. Jesus had not where to lay his 
 head ; the Pope has for his mansion the most mag- 
 nificent palace ever built, and it is not enough for 
 
8o 21 Soul's pflsrimage 
 
 him. Jesus never wore any crown but a crown of 
 thorns ; the Pope wears on all solemn occasions a 
 triple crown of gold enriched and ornamented with 
 precious stones of every kind. 
 
 And now, adieu, Rome ; adieu forever ! Where 
 I go, I know not. The Master has said : " Seek 
 and ye shall find ; knock, and it shall be opened 
 unto you. He that cometh to me I will in no 
 wise cast out. * * * Lo, I am with you alwaj's, 
 unto the end of the world." 
 
 Jesus is love ; the Pope is power, and, as in his 
 pretended supreme power I can no longer see any- 
 thing but a sacrilegious usurpation, to free myself 
 from it becomes a sacred duty ; and in the name 
 of God, for truth's sake, that duty I perform this 
 ninth day of January, 1854. 
 
CHAPTER VII. 
 
 IN ENGLAND AGAIN. 
 
 SINCE the hour of my departure from Rome I 
 decided to keep a daily record of my thoughts 
 and experiences. This journal was destined to 
 become my faithful friend and confidential com- 
 panion. To its pages I committed without fear or 
 reserve the reflections which engaged my mind 
 from time to time, the impressions made upon me 
 by my contact with men, and the ideas which 
 specially interested me. Henceforth in this narra- 
 tive I shall draw freely from its pages and ask my 
 readers to accept what it has to tell them as not 
 always the settled convictions of its author, but 
 rather as the views and impressions which com- 
 mended themselves to him at the time of writing. 
 There are many phases in one's religious experi- 
 ence, many and various shades of thought and 
 opinion which one must needs pass through before 
 he arrives at a stable and permanent position. If 
 the ideas here to be expressed seem inconsistent 
 with my attitude on the same subjects to-day, let 
 it be kept in mind that they were the moods 
 
82 B Soul's pilerimade 
 
 through which I passed before I reached my pres- 
 ent point of view. Some will commend them- 
 selves as essentially true, others as only partially 
 so, yet all will represent the free and open 
 thoughts of one who tried to deduce some living 
 principle from the experiences which met him in 
 the course of a varied and unsettled career. 
 
 With this word of explanation, let me resume 
 my story. 
 
 January 12, 1854. 
 
 I was standing at the bow of the steamer which 
 was carrying us from Civita Vecchia to Marseilles, 
 casting a last look at the States of that Church to 
 which yesterday I had said good-bye forever. I 
 was reviewing in my mind the eventful series of 
 observations and circumstances which had so pain- 
 fully affected me during my sojourn in the city 
 which until then I had reverently called the Holy 
 City, when a clergyman of distinguished appear- 
 ance, whom I had not noticed before, approached 
 me, and after a few polite words asked me, with 
 the accent of a true interest, what was the subject 
 of my reverie. I felt moved to tell him candidly 
 the thoughts which were passing through my 
 mind. "Oh, sir," said I, "you who come from 
 Rome, Hke myself, you who seem to be an honor- 
 able man, you who are a Catholic and a priest, 
 
Tn England Bgain 83 
 
 have you not seen how, in Rome, in the capital of 
 the Christian world, the very heart of the Church, 
 have you not seen "how everywhere superstition 
 holds the place of religion, how the representatives 
 of Him who has said, ' Learn of me, for I am 
 meek and lowly in heart,' are full of pride, thirst- 
 ing for power and wealth, how they over-reach 
 the poor, how they have corrupted the moral 
 sense of the people, how, in order to master them 
 more surely, they keep them in ignorance and 
 abjection ? Oh, father, it is doubly sad when one 
 has been brought up in the bosom of the Roman 
 Church and has counted it his highest duty to 
 devote himself to her service, to be obliged to 
 acknowledge that he has been profoundly mis- 
 taken in her character." 
 
 The reverend father, who did not know me, and 
 could not understand the gravity of my last words, 
 did not try to deny or attenuate the truth of what 
 I had just said. "Yes," he replied, "I was sur- 
 prised and distressed by it, and I deplore it as you 
 do. Meanwhile, looking at things as we should, 
 from the point of view of salvation, these poor 
 Romans are not so much to be pitied. Their 
 religion is little edifying, I admit, and they have 
 scarcely any idea of morality ; but there remains, 
 for all this, an ample compensation." " And 
 what may that be?" I exclaimed. "They have 
 
84 21 Soul'e pilgrimage 
 
 faith," he replied. Thus, in the thought of this 
 good man, faith, faith alone (and what manner 
 of faith !) stood for all virtues, for all that is 
 good. 
 
 I remember at this moment having heard at the 
 Oratory in London the celebrated Dr. Newman 
 place in the first rank among the nations, not the 
 English, not the French, but these same people of 
 the Roman States, for the sole reason that, while 
 inferior in everything else, they excelled all . others 
 in faith. Yet it is precisely this sort of faith which 
 is to be condemned, it is their superstitious credu- 
 lity which has made them what they are. Instead 
 of being the faith that saves, it is the faith that 
 ruins. " Ye shall know them by their fruits," the 
 Master said. A tree which bears such fruit can 
 only be a corrupt tree, and having found it I have 
 acted accordingly. 
 
 January 15. 
 
 This morning I reached Paris, which I found 
 more magnificent than ever. An intoxicating city 
 — no ennui is possible here. Yet its gaiety and 
 brightness do not agree with my present thoughts. 
 He who seeks excitement and distraction might be 
 happy here ; for one who craves calm and time 
 for meditation, London is better. Its fogs, the 
 solidity of its people, the solitude in which one is 
 
f n jenQlmt) again 85 
 
 permitted to live, favor reflection and sober 
 thought — I must press on to London. 
 
 My arrival in London recalled the circumstances 
 which had first inspired me to doubt the validity of 
 the Roman claims. While I was not yet ready to 
 inform my family and friends of the change in my 
 position, it seemed to me that a duty was owing the 
 gentleman whose ardent appeal had prompted me 
 to begin the investigation which had finally led to 
 the surrender of my faith in the Church of my 
 fathers. Accordingly I addressed the following 
 letter to Mr. Charles Hastings Collette : 
 
 "London, January 27, 1854. 
 "Sir: 
 
 " You have been the first instrument made use of 
 by divine Providence to open my eyes to the 
 truth ; it is, therefore, right that I should inform 
 you first of the happy change which has taken 
 place in my ideas and in my heart. 
 
 " I will confess that it has been hard for me to 
 acknowledge, even from your very positive indi- 
 cations, not that I was deceived, but that the most 
 esteemed Roman theologians deceive us, or rather, 
 deceive themselves. Forced to give in to evi- 
 dence of the falsity of one of the principal texts 
 quoted in the second pamphlet, I tried to take 
 refuge in the others, which were numerous and 
 
86 B Sours pilgtimade 
 
 seemed to me conclusive. Alas ! without much 
 trouble, you have shown that they did not merit 
 greater confidence than the first. 
 
 " I then threw myself upon history. In the his- 
 torical writings of the first Christian ages, I sought 
 some decisive facts in favor of the primacy of the 
 Bishop of Rome, that is to say, some historical 
 ground for the papacy. Here also I was disap- 
 pointed ! Against the few texts which have been 
 rendered favorable, but which by themselves are 
 insignificant or doubtful, I found a number which 
 were manifestly contrary to my position. So I 
 was obliged to admit that if your articles at times 
 left something to be desired as to their form, in 
 substance, at least, they sustained your position 
 and established the validity of your argument. 
 The matter of our controversy was too serious, 
 and I brought too much sincerity into it, that I 
 should think of defending myself by mere tricks. 
 " The historical and critical inquiry to which your 
 attacks led me was followed by other studies no 
 less important. When I saw that the Roman pre- 
 tensions could not stand up before history, I asked 
 myself if they had not some solid foundation in 
 the Gospels, and surely it was a great day in my 
 life when, after a long mental struggle, I deter- 
 mined to examine the Gospels in an open and 
 independent spirit. Many times had I read the 
 
f n Sngland B^ain 87 
 
 New Testament through, but only for the sake of 
 edification, and always with the determination 
 never to find in the sacred text other meaning than 
 that given by the Roman Church. This time I 
 resolved to trust to the light of reason, aided by 
 prayer. Now, sir, hardly had I scanned a few 
 chapters in this spirit, when I found, with a kind of 
 stupefaction, a doctrine which seemed to me the 
 very condemnation of the Roman system. The 
 limits of this letter do not permit me to enter into 
 particulars, but I dare to challenge any one to read 
 the Gospel as I have done — with an open mind and 
 honest heart, seeking for and loving the truth 
 above all else — and not to come to the same con- 
 clusions. 
 
 " I could have stopped there ; it seemed to me 
 I had a right, with the knowledge I had already 
 gained, to reject the claims of Rome. Neverthe- 
 less, in order that in so grave a matter I could 
 never be accused of having acted hastily, I felt it 
 my duty to try a last experiment. Therefore I 
 set out for Rome, with a view to judging the 
 system on the spot, and in its immediate applica- 
 tion. And now, sir, I speak frankly to you when 
 I say that if there remains any mystery to me, it 
 is to conceive how an honest man can visit Rome, 
 study its religious life with an impartial mind, and 
 remain a Roman Catholic. Everywhere superstition 
 
88 a Soul's pllgrtmage 
 
 usurps the place of religion; instead of works 
 of piety, one is pained and indignant to see an 
 odious traffic in things called sacred, shameful 
 speculations on the faith of the simple, ceremonies 
 which carry one back to the days of pagan Rome, 
 man receiving honors due to God alone. On the 
 one hand, the arrogance and luxury of the prin- 
 ces of the Church ; on the other, the ignorance 
 and degradation of the people whom they have 
 moulded, and in whose heart it is hard to find an 
 honest and generous sentiment. 
 
 " Sir, I only remained four weeks in Rome, and it 
 was, as it proved, well for me not to have stayed 
 longer. For hardly had I spent a few days there, 
 before I fancied I heard sounding unceasingly in 
 my ears that mysterious voice which is said to have 
 been heard in the temple at Jerusalem some time 
 before its ruin, ' Let us depart hence, let us 
 depart hence ! ' 
 
 " It is in the free land of Great Britain that I 
 have taken refuge, and here I propose to continue 
 my studies in the interest of truth, trusting the 
 time may come when I shall be able to write more 
 openly, in order to help my blind brothers to 
 a share with me in the light of the divine grace. 
 
 "Pray accept the expression of my grateful and 
 respectful feelings. 
 
 "C. MiEL." 
 
fn Englana again 89 
 
 This letter was not designed for publication ; 
 nevertheless, Mr. Collette thought it his duty to 
 spread it as widely as possible, both for the good 
 it might accomplish and also in my own interests. 
 A French translation of it shortly reached my 
 friends in France. This I learned through letters 
 which came to me from all quarters. Those who 
 had known me before this step, urged me to con- 
 front the authors of what they called an odious 
 publication, for all refused to believe what they 
 had heard. " No," wrote one, whose letter lies 
 before me as I write, "that must be an infamous 
 calumny; you, so pious ; a priest according to God ; 
 you, so devoted to the Holy Mother," etc., etc. 
 "We only ridicule this story," writes another, 
 "which is a Protestant calumny, and I, who know 
 you so well, guarantee your Catholicity as a 
 priest after God's own heart. Hasten only 
 and tell us what can have given rise to 
 so absurd a report." " It is impossible to tell 
 you," a third says, "what a sad effect this 
 fearful accusation against you has had on me. No, 
 God forbid that I should believe it. The idea alone 
 of so horrible a crime makes me shudder. This 
 letter which has been attributed to you is only an 
 atrocious invention. The sincerity of your faith 
 and your ardor in defending it are a sure guarantee 
 to us. Is it not your first duty to protest against 
 
9° a Soul's pilgtimage 
 
 an imputation so odious by an article in the 
 papers attesting your faithfulness to the Church 
 of Rome ?" 
 
 It is needless to say how deeply I was moved 
 by these evidences of confidence on the part of my 
 poor, but always dear, friends. It was the most 
 painful task of my life to be obliged to disabuse 
 them. 
 
CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 BREAKING CLOSE TIES. 
 
 UNABLE to answer each one in particular, 
 for the number of their letters increased 
 daily, I wrote a general reply which I dispatched 
 to all, adding to it such further words as the letter 
 of each of my correspondents particularly required. 
 Here is my answer : — 
 
 " My Very Dear Friends : — 
 
 " It has pleased God, no doubt for my greater 
 good, to call me for some time past to endure hard 
 trials, but none do I more sensibly feel than the 
 thought of being a source of pain to so many es- 
 timable persons, who, like you, have regarded me 
 with affection, and whom for my part I shall 
 always love. 
 
 "Yet, when the question is one of honor and 
 conscience, should any consideration of personal 
 interest or even of affection restrain us ? Is it not 
 written that we must obey God rather than men ? 
 This is why I could not avoid taking a step which 
 I knew beforehand would not be understood by 
 
92 £1 Soul's pilgrimage 
 
 the greater number, but on the contrary, would be 
 severely blamed by those whose approbation is 
 particularly precious to me. 
 
 " It is true, dear friends, that I am the author of 
 the letter which has so much shocked you, and 
 which was reproduced and spread without my 
 knowledge. It was written under the painful im- 
 pression of my journey to Rome, and though I 
 might to-day give it a somewhat different form, I 
 would not disavow a single line of it, for all that I 
 have since learned has confirmed the ideas I then 
 formed. 
 
 " I know how such a change must surprise you ; 
 it surprises me more than I can say. But the 
 more I reflect, the more I am forced to recognize 
 God's hand in it, and at His call to sacrifice at a 
 single stroke an advantageous and honorable posi- 
 tion as well as a future which announced itself in 
 seducing colors. I was constrained to take this 
 step, even though it might weaken the affection of 
 friends and the deep devotion of my parents, to 
 whose comfort I have until now consecrated all 
 my resources ; yes, even though it might oblige me 
 to forego the affectionate embrace of my loving 
 mother, whom perhaps I shall not be permitted to 
 see again. 
 
 Try to believe, my dear friends, that when one 
 acts so, not by sudden impulse but by deliberate 
 
:BteahinQ Close ^ies 93 
 
 steps and after long months of reflection, never 
 allowing the preoccupation of difficulties which 
 aAvait you in a new and unknown path to affect 
 your motives, when your resolution is at last taken 
 it must be because you feel yourself commanded to 
 do it by a voice stronger than all the voices of 
 nature. 
 
 " Looking at things from the point of view of 
 human honor merely, you will agree with me that 
 after a labor of nearly two years, inspired by a 
 pure love of truth and pursued under the eye of God 
 alone, I was gradually brought to the conviction 
 that the Roman institution is nothing but the work 
 of men, the greatest edifice of their pride, the 
 question with me was reduced to these terms : 
 either lose everything human and act as an honest 
 man, or save everything and live as a hypocrite. 
 Heaven helping me, I chose the first part, and I 
 feel convinced that in my place you would have 
 acted as I did. 
 
 " Now, if it is your wish to know particularly what 
 those influences were which wrought so profound a 
 change in my convictions, let me give the details 
 in the same spirit of sincerity which you have been 
 good enough to believe was the inspiration of my 
 previous conduct. 
 
 " You have, without doubt, not forgotten that, 
 finding myself in England at the time of the 
 
94 a Soul's pildtimafle 
 
 re-establishment of the Roman hierarchy, and being 
 deeply moved by the anti-papal demonstrations to 
 which this measure gave rise, I dared to raise my 
 feeble voice in behalf of the papacy, and published 
 two pamphlets, which obtained the approbation 
 and praise of eminent ecclesiastics. 
 
 " These publications were so sharply attacked by 
 the opposite party, and my authorities were so 
 severely criticised, that I began a more serious 
 study of the writings of the Fathers, of the history 
 of the Church, and especially of authentic memoirs 
 of the first Christian ages. How far was I, my 
 good friends, from foreseeing the results of this 
 study ! What surprise, what disenchantment was 
 in store for me, and also what agony when I 
 learned that my chief opponent was right, and that 
 the most important facts and letters produced by 
 Rome in support of her pretensions have been 
 invented or altered in her favor ! It was, as a conse- 
 quence of this unexpected discovery, that doubt 
 for the first time presented itself to my mind. 
 
 " During several months I tried to dismiss the 
 feeling by prescribed acts of faith. My labors 
 were in vain ; the more I tried to draw back, the 
 more doubt beset me. The power of this disturb- 
 ing enemy seemed to increase with my efforts to 
 conquer it. Oh ! if you but knew how cruel were 
 my sufferings in this war of conscience and 
 
:SSxeabinQ Cloae XLiee 95 
 
 reason ; the means of all kinds to which I had 
 recourse to find rest of mind and soul ! This was 
 the cause of my sudden departure from England ; 
 the reason of my retreat in a house of the Jesuits, 
 where I spent six hours daily in meditation and 
 prayer ; the reason of that feverish energy which 
 you admired during those three months of mis- 
 sionary labor. 
 
 " Well, dear friends, all this proved in vain. 
 More than ever was I beset by doubt, and, unable 
 to live any longer with so importunate a guest, I 
 resolved to dismiss my fears and know the truth at 
 any price. I felt the moment had come to 
 examine with independence and impartiality, under 
 the eye of God, the foundation of my belief. 
 Believing that nothing should hinder me in this 
 search, I put aside the decrees of the Index and 
 similar restrictions and set myself to examine 
 scrupulously the monuments of history and reli- 
 gious criticism in so far as they bore upon the 
 legitimacy of the Church of Rome's claim to be 
 the infallible and sole interpreter of Christian doc- 
 trine. Oh ! what important facts I discovered, 
 dear friends, which, like you, I never even 
 imagined to exist ! What mysteries were cleared 
 up for my poor mind which until now had been 
 blindly credulous ! As I advanced in my labors, 
 in the same measure the horizon of my thoughts 
 
96 B Soul's pilgrimage 
 
 seemed to enlarge. The simplest things assumed 
 a new aspect, and as the reasonableness of history 
 began to appear, the edifice of my former faith 
 began to crumble, until at last the Roman institu- 
 tion seemed to me nothing but a progressive and 
 gigantic usurpation on the part of man of the 
 rights and authority of God. 
 
 " But what completed the dissipation of my illu- 
 sion and proved to be the study of all others 
 which was to bring me the most light, was the 
 study of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Like all of 
 you, I had read the New Testament through 
 many times, but, like you, I had never studied it. 
 I had sought in it an element of piety, but never 
 a foundation of doctrine. This kind of study had 
 been forbidden, as you well know, by the Church 
 of which I was a minister. I now understand the 
 meaning of that interdiction. Rome is afraid of 
 the Bible, and for this reason she has made blind 
 submission to her authority the base of faith. The 
 Gospel of Jesus Christ is a living and permanent 
 protest against what she teaches concerning her- 
 self. If there is a message I have to give to 
 you as the result of my experience, it is the same 
 which was addressed to St. Augustine : Tolle et 
 lege ; take and read, with open mind and sincere 
 heart, read the sacred text, study it, taste it ; com- 
 pare the two teachings, put both doctrines sidejby 
 
JSteaRing Close Ziee 97 
 
 side, that of Jesus Christ and that of the Pope, 
 and then tell me in all conscience if there is any 
 conformity between them, any agreement or har- 
 mony possible ? You can now see that the step 
 which surprised and distressed you, was not only 
 a very serious one but also a matter of conscience. 
 Do not imagine that I have ceased to be Roman 
 in order to become sectarian. I desire to be sim- 
 ply Christian in the truest sense of the word ; 
 Christian according to the Gospel and according 
 to the type ordained by Jesus Himself 
 
 " It is time, my dear friends, to bring this letter to 
 a close. I have written in entire frankness. You 
 will appreciate this evidence of confidence, and I 
 dare hope that you will not be of those who believe 
 it a duty to break off all relations with me. Write 
 me all you think desirable, and upon whatever 
 subject you please, no matter even if it will be 
 impossible for me to agree with you. I shall 
 accept your views with gratitude, without doubting 
 either your sincerity or the amiability of your 
 intentions. Do not fear to find in me either obsti- 
 nacy or insurmountable prejudices. The truth is 
 all that I seek — the idol which I love with passion, 
 and to which I feel as if I could never refuse any 
 sacrifice. How happy I should be, my good 
 friends, if these circumstances, so little foreseen 
 three years since, far from dividing our hearts or 
 
98 H Soul's pllgttmagc 
 
 diminishing our affection for one another, should 
 only serve to bring us new light, and provoke a 
 deeper love between us. May our Lord make us 
 more and more partakers of the grace and truth 
 which dwell only in Him ! Let us seek Him, let 
 us serve Him, let us love Him, as vying with each 
 other, and let us love one another in Him and for 
 Him. Those affections are blessed whose centre 
 is in God and whose end is in heaven. 
 
 " To you all and with all my heart, 
 
 "C. MiEL." 
 
 With the exception of my true and always loyal 
 friend, M. I'Abbe Paul Perny, of whom I have 
 already spoken, no one honored me with a reply to 
 this letter. At this I was at first as pained as sur- 
 prised. Afterwards I learned that the ecclesiastical 
 authority had enjoined upon those calling them- 
 selves my friends not only not to write to me, but 
 never to read any letter from me. A single one 
 believed that he could be exempt from this order, 
 and sought to win me back by making the follow- 
 ing appeal to my filial love : " Your family, for- 
 merly so happy and so proud of you, is now 
 plunged into a humiliation and desolation which 
 nothing can equal. Your sisters cease not to 
 weep ; your father, at the first news of the fatal 
 defection, in a fit of passion, seized the frame, which 
 
:BtetiMns Cloee tliee 99 
 
 you remember and which you so much valued, 
 that contained the official document of extra- 
 ordinary powers given you by the Pope and signed 
 by his own hand, and trampled it to pieces. The 
 state of your mother is precarious, and makes 
 one's heart bleed. She remains constantly on her 
 knees, trembling and asking pardon for you * * " 
 
 Needless to say, this touched the most sensitive 
 chord, and plunged me into a state of mind border- 
 ing on despair. 
 
 What can I do then, O my God, to soften the 
 bitter grief with which I have filled the hearts of 
 those who love me so tenderly ? Ah ! if my con- 
 science would permit me to accede to their wishes ; 
 if, at least, they could read my heart ! How can I 
 tell them so that they can understand me ? My 
 most affectionate letters are more of a torture than 
 a consolation to them. What a position! Here, 
 not one person who cares enough for me to tempt 
 me to unburden my soul, and at home, the despair 
 of those who have until now regarded me with so 
 deep and so tender an affection. 
 
 O my God, behold me at thy feet alone before 
 Thee. I have none but Thee, G Lord. My mind, 
 my heart, my soul, all my being thirsts for Thee. 
 Let no sacrifice be too great to keep me from 
 Thee. Be my refuge and defence. Forget my 
 unfaithfulness without measure, and only think of 
 
B Soure pilgrimage 
 
 thy mercy. It seems to me that I am resolved to 
 refuse Thee nothing, but if I am the prey to some 
 illusion, if in thy justice Thou hast punished my 
 prevarication and my pride by the blindness of my 
 mind, O my God, O my Father, pardon ! grace ! 
 I deplore all my wanderings, those I know and 
 those I know not of. I reproach myself in bitter- 
 ness for the ill use which I have made of thy 
 favors, so precious and so many. Lord, forget the 
 past ; teach me what I must do for Thee, for truth, 
 for the greater good of my soul. And if, as they 
 imagine, it is pride or some secret sin which holds 
 me under its dark empire, O my Father, make me 
 humble and little before Thee ; help me to shake 
 off the yoke of error and all seduction. Some of 
 thy most zealous servants are ashamed of me. 
 Let my conduct testify that I have had in view 
 only the accomplishment of thy holy will. Let 
 me live to be forever wholly thine ! 
 
CHAPTER IX. 
 
 NEW FRIENDS. 
 
 IT was my desire and intention while in London 
 to continue my studies in the pursuit of reli- 
 gious truth. Here I had begun my investigation, 
 and here I believed I could carry it on to a point 
 where I might feel measurably certain of myself 
 from a religious point of view. But it was not 
 long before I discovered that my mind was in no 
 condition to follow such a course. The trying 
 experience of the past months had left their mark 
 upon me. But more than this, the thought of this 
 gigantic Roman institution, which I had vener- 
 ated and served as divine with all the ardor of my 
 soul, and which at last appeared as a huge impos- 
 ture, seemed to overwhelm me and haunted my 
 mind like a painful vision from which I could 
 withdraw neither my eyes nor my- thoughts. I 
 did not realize then that many years would elapse 
 before this intense reaction in thought and feeling 
 could be entirely obliterated. 
 
 Meanwhile it was necessary to find an occupa- 
 tion, and in this I was generously aided by my 
 
102 a Soul's pildrimase 
 
 former opponent in controversy, Mr. Charles 
 Hastings Collette. Under his auspices, I made 
 the acquaintance of many excellent people, chief 
 among them the Hon. John MacGregor, author 
 of "The Voyage Alone in the Yawl Rob 
 Roy," etc. Mr. MacGregor will be remem- 
 bered as a pioneer in philanthropic work among 
 the homeless boys of London. My introduc- 
 tion to him was also my first experience of 
 a phase of Protestantism of which until then 
 I had been wholly ignorant. To one who had 
 thought works of zeal and charity limited almost 
 exclusively to the Roman Church, it came as a 
 kind of revelation to find in Protestant London 
 eighteen hundred devoted men and women giving 
 to the poor religious and primary instruction simply 
 for the good of the thing and without the hope 
 of material advantage. The work of the Savoyards 
 in Paris, and that of the Society of St. Vincent de 
 Paule cannot surpass this in fervor and benevolence. 
 It was my good fortune to meet also about this 
 time the Rev. Dr. Carpenter, of Manchester, after- 
 wards Bishop of Sodor and Man. At his invita- 
 tion, I spent several weeks in his city and was fre- 
 quently in his charming company. Had circum- 
 stances favored it, I might have continued there, 
 simply in order to remain in communion with 
 such a truly Christian mind. 
 
Jlew 3frfenas 103 
 
 Determined, however, not to accept any favor 
 which might be offered in consideration of my 
 present state of mind, I resolved to act indepen- 
 dently, and had already settled upon teaching as 
 my vocation and French literature as my subject. 
 Under the advice of my new friends, I decided 
 upon Dublin as a more fruitful field for such 
 employment than overcrowded London. Accord- 
 ingly, well supplied with letters, I set out for that 
 city. 
 
 My experience in Dubhn was most encouraging. 
 From the first, Archbishop Whately honored me 
 with his friendship and kindly patronage. A man 
 of higher cultivation and less pretension, it has 
 not been my pleasure to meet. A frequent visitor 
 and guest, I had abundant opportunity to enjoy 
 his conversation and profit by his broad learning 
 and large experience. His books, copies of which 
 he gave me, won my admiration by their literary 
 purity, but above all by the liberal views expressed 
 in them. 
 
 Under the patronage of Dr. Whately and such 
 excellent people as Lady Macgregor, Sir Benja- 
 min Guiness and many others, it was not long 
 before my literary conferences had an assured 
 success. The first was given in the Royal Irish 
 Academy, but for the second it was necessary to 
 find a larger hall. Fortune seemed to smile upon 
 
I04 21 Sottl'e pildttmage 
 
 my little enterprise, and as far as my temporal 
 needs were concerned, I felt secure against the 
 future. 
 
 Yet, strange as it may seem, this did not satisfy 
 me. A constrained feeling had begun to take 
 possession of me, suggested by a fear lest the 
 obligations I was under to my new friends should 
 lead me to take a step I was not prepared to 
 make. I was not willing to compromise my 
 liberty by a course which might permit any one to 
 believe that they had a claim upon me. Nor, on 
 the other hand, was I disposed to pose as a possi- 
 ble candidate for denominationalism, ready to 
 - accede to the most favorable inducement. This 
 fear was not altogether ungrounded, notwithstand- 
 ing at the time I may have magnified it, and the 
 thought that I might be occupying a false position 
 made me restless. Rather than be the object of 
 attentions which might eventually prompt me to 
 abridge my religious freedom, I determined to 
 adventure into a new field. 
 
 The following selections from my journal express 
 more intimately my feelings at the time : 
 
 June, 1854. 
 
 Here I am in Dublin. Nowhere have I found 
 such religious agitation. The celebrated Gavazzi is 
 here. I have received this morning an invitation 
 
Uew 3fttenbs 105 
 
 to meet and dine with him. I have declined. That 
 man does not suit me. I heard him a few weeks 
 ago at Exeter Hall, where he was giving a lecture 
 on the papacy. His language, loaded with invec- 
 tives, is that of hatred. His object seemed to be 
 to excite the malice and prejudice of those who 
 listen to him. No, Christ is not there. But He 
 is somewhere else. A very different type of man 
 interests himself in Roman Catholics here, but in a 
 spirit of true charity : the Rev. Mr. Dallas, a navy 
 captain formerly, and lately ordained to the Angli- 
 can ministry. He now devotes himself entirely to 
 the evangelization of those who do not any longer 
 believe in Rome. Of all the English clergymen I 
 have heard thus far, Mr. Dallas speaks out of the 
 fullest heart, and knows best how to interest his 
 audience. 
 
 I have attended these last days various meet- 
 ings of controversy between Romanists and Angli- 
 cans. Here are the impressions they have made 
 on me : I distrust every individual who defends 
 his cause with great effort of lungs. It looks as if 
 he needed to stun you in order to obtain your 
 assent. I am also suspicious of the one who says 
 on all occasions : " That is evident, nothing more 
 manifest," etc. When a thing is evident, it is 
 needless to say so ; and if one says so. it is likely 
 
io6 B Soura pilgcimage 
 
 because it is not. The complaints of a controver- 
 sialist who thinks his adversary is wanting in a 
 proper regard for him personally, are also distaste- 
 ful to me. Generally such pleadings are a way of 
 escape, revealing the weakness of a man who is 
 unable to answer the arguments of his opponent 
 and finds himself reduced to accusing his methods. 
 What I find wanting in the Roman controver- 
 sialists thus far is perfect candor. They forget 
 that assertions are not reasons, and that truth 
 should create authority, and not authority make 
 truth. 
 
 An evidence of the little faith there is in the 
 world is the idea that is entertained generally of 
 those who abandon a religion which they have 
 found to be false for one they count to be true. 
 They are despised, sometimes insulted, called 
 apostates, renegades, etc. ; and the reason, because 
 they have surrendered the religion of their fathers. 
 The argument seems a decisive one. So that St. 
 Paul and the other apostles must have been wrong 
 to abandon Judaism, and they are to be counted 
 apostates before all others. In the same way our 
 ancestors who renounced paganism must have been 
 wrong, and should have continued to render divine 
 honors to Jupiter, Teutates, etc. Do you not see, O 
 men of little faith, that your principles are destruc- 
 
mew jfrienas 107 
 
 tive of all religion, that they suppose religious 
 truth not to exist in this world, and that the 
 daughter of Lusignan was right when Voltaire 
 made her say : 
 
 "J'eusse ite prfes du Gange, esclave des faux dieux, 
 
 Chr^tienne dans Paris, Musulmane en ces lieux." 
 
 * 
 * * 
 
 I feel obliged to acknowledge this : Whoever 
 comes from Rome has to conciliate the favor of 
 any number of Protestants by two sure methods 
 equally repugnant to me. The first invites one to 
 play the hypocrite. Do you wish to make your- 
 self considered as a truly converted man? you 
 do not need to show approved virtue, tender piety, 
 ardent charity, deep convictions ; it is enough to 
 say with a certain air of compunction : " I have 
 read the Bible, which I discovered by chance. 
 After reading that divine book the Holy Spirit 
 made me realize that I was nothing but a miserable 
 sinner, unable to do any good thing. Then I 
 deeply felt the need of a Saviour, and that Saviour 
 I have found, and now I believe in Him and enjoy 
 a full assurance of my salvation." This language 
 has a decisive effect among certain of the ortho- 
 dox. 
 
 The second means to gain favor with fanatical 
 Protestants is no less effective. It is to declare 
 
io8 a Soul's pilgctmage 
 
 oneself as an open enemy of Rome and all things 
 Roman. Now, for my part, I cannot forget that, 
 in spite of all the error and all the excesses justly 
 ascribed to Rome, to her I owe the sweetest and 
 purest emotions of my youth, and to villify her 
 would be an odious thing, even though she has 
 ceased to be the holy and divine institution to 
 whose service I should have been so happy to 
 devote my life. 
 
 * * 
 
 My feelings are modified more and more, thanks 
 to God, by a sense of charity. During my stay in 
 Rome, I experienced hardly anything but indigna- 
 tion. Now I feel for the victims of error and 
 prejudice, whoever they may be, a tender compas- 
 sion. This need not blind me to the truth nor 
 dim my sight to the glaring discrepancies be- 
 tween the Church of Rome and the Church of 
 
 Christ. 
 
 * 
 
 * * 
 
 Romanism is domination ; Protestantism is divis- 
 ion. True Christianity is the union of all the 
 children of God in liberty, in the love of truth, and 
 
 in the practice of charity. 
 
 * 
 
 If one should ask me to-day which is the most 
 respectable of the Christian Churches, I think I 
 should answer : " The Church of England." She 
 
5Ilew JFrienDs 109 
 
 has a ministry which seems to mc superior to 
 any other in education, and her faithful commend 
 themselves generally by the regularity of their 
 lives and the purity of their manners. Moreover, 
 she is liberal enough to admit of a high, a low and 
 a broad Church. The fact that the two Newmans 
 have been formed by her, that men as different 
 from each other as Stanley and Pusey enjoy 
 equally her favor, is a striking evidence of the 
 latitude of views she permits. I do not mean by 
 this that the Anglican Communion is the true 
 Church. Is there a true Church ? Nor do I 
 mean that she is free from error and hypocrisy, 
 but, all considered, she seems to me at present the 
 most respectable. Is this a sufficient reason why 
 I should yield to the pressure of some good friends 
 and abdicate my independence by declaring myself 
 Anglican ? I do not feel it so. 
 
 July I, 1855. 
 
 Feeling myself carried away by an order of ideas 
 which I cannot reveal to those who have honored 
 me with their friendship, unwilling to adventure 
 myself in any of the ways that open before me, 
 and resolved not to become the man of any sect 
 or party, for there is not one to the doctrines of 
 which I could give my full allegiance, I think seri- 
 ously of freeing myselt without delay from the 
 
M Soul'a pilgtimage 
 
 protection with which a number of kind friends 
 favor me, with the hope of seeing me embrace their 
 belief and following their way. 
 
 August 1st. 
 
 My decision is made. I have resolved to break 
 all my ties with the old world and to seek in the 
 new that independence of soul for which I have 
 paid so great a price without being able to fully 
 obtain it. 
 
CHAPTER X. 
 
 THE NEW WORLD. 
 
 TO-DAY at noon, August 15, 1855, 1 embarked 
 at Liverpool for New York, wishing to put the 
 ocean between my past and my future. This seri- 
 ous step was not taken without a painful wrench of 
 the heart. I cannot withdraw my eyes or my 
 thoughts from the shores of the old world to 
 which I am held by so many ties. 
 
 Adieu, well beloved parents 1 It is partly my 
 affection for you which compels me to go far away. 
 Do not fear, however, that separation can ever 
 alter it. 
 
 Adieu, my good friends ! Alas, your number is 
 much decreased within a year. I have nothing 
 against those who have abandoned me ; I shall be 
 only the more faithful to those who remain. 
 
 Adieu, France, my beautiful country ! It mat- 
 ters not how far the tempest may carry me from 
 thee, thou shalt always be the land of my first 
 love. 
 
 Adieu, Church, still venerated in spite of thy 
 errors. Never can I forget that through thee I 
 
21 Soul's pilgrimage 
 
 was initiated to the Christian faith and to the 
 charm of piety. Adieu to all that were dear to me 
 and whom I still love. Adieu ! 
 
 August 1 8. 
 
 Never, not even when I left Rome and the 
 Roman Church, have I felt more alone in the 
 world. Not a friend, not an acquaintance. Behind 
 me, sacrifice ; before me, the unknown ! It is the 
 most complete isolation. During the past two days 
 I have been a prey to the most profound sadness. 
 However, thank God, my ideas are insensibly modi- 
 fied, my melancholy passes away. I do not know 
 whether it is the effect of Sunday, but I find myself 
 in a solemn mood this evening and even happy in 
 my sacrifices. The sun has just set in an immense 
 flood of purple. The moon seems to smile on me 
 across the cordage of the ship. Just now a mag- 
 nificent rainbow formed in the east like the portals 
 of Europe. I am nearly alone on deck, at least I 
 am in entire solitude. Nothing disturbs my 
 reverie, and this reverie possesses an indescribable 
 charm, like the Infinite, of whom the image is 
 before me, over me and around me. Although 
 not knowing why, I feel my soul in repose and my 
 heart satisfied ! O my soul, bless the Lord ' 
 And all that is within me bless his holy name! 
 It is He who shall heal all thy wounds ! 
 
tibe mew motlt) "3 
 
 August 30. 
 
 To-day the Lord looked with pity upon my 
 widowed heart, and gave me one of his most 
 precious gifts. He allowed me to find a friend. 
 
 From my first conversation with Frederic Chris- 
 tie I felt myself strongly attracted. Superior edu- 
 cation, generous aspirations, a gentle melancholy 
 — all this won me, and this evening, in a burst of 
 sympathy, I revealed myself to him without re- 
 serve. He was equally frank with me. From 
 that moment we knew one another better, perhaps, 
 than any one else, and our confidences made us 
 both happy. 
 
 Thus, then, I am no longer alone in the world. 
 My thirst of loving has found an object upon which 
 it can be satisfied, and an object worthy of love. 
 I thank Thee, my God, for this unhoped-for mercy ! 
 It is perhaps the greatest that could be given me 
 in my present condition. 
 
 September 19th. 
 
 Last days of our voyage ! Although it has 
 been three weeks since the day we met, it has 
 seemed short to my new friend and to me. We 
 passed our days and often part of our nights, now 
 in intimate conversation, and again in mute con- 
 templation, interrupted by reading or recitation of 
 passages from our favorite authors : Shakespeare, 
 
114 H Soul's pilgiimage 
 
 Victor Hugo, etc. But above all did we enjoy 
 the meditations of Lamartine, which suited best 
 the state of our minds. Sometimes when our 
 thoughts took a more religious turn, we limited 
 ourselves to the contemplation of some New Tes- 
 tament verses, or a quotation from the Imitation. 
 We enjoyed commenting upon them together, 
 finding in this an inexpressible delight. Frederic 
 
 C was born a Protestant, and brought up so ; 
 
 until recently I had been a fervent Romanist, and 
 starting from extremes so opposite, we felt a true 
 satisfaction to meet each other and unite on com- 
 mon ground, the spirit of Christianity. Sincerely 
 loving the true, the good, the beautiful, we en- 
 deavored to give free flight to our souls in the 
 field of the Infinite, and this had an ineffable charm 
 for us. The moment when we shall have to sepa- 
 rate and pass from the ocean of dreams to the land 
 of realities will come all too soon for our intimacy. 
 
 September 20th. 
 
 Glorious day ! At early morning we found our- 
 selves in sight of the American coast. At eleven 
 o'clock we entered the magnificent bay of New 
 York. All is new and charming. The country 
 seats and houses built on the shores or banks near 
 the water are pretty and coquettish. The ships of 
 all kinds which pass and repass in every part of 
 
XTbe mew MorlO "5 
 
 the harbor are remarkably graceful. The steamers 
 which ply between the cities on the river are like 
 moving palaces. The Americans belonging to the 
 custom house, police, etc., are neatly and even 
 elegantly dressed ; every one has a well-cared-for 
 
 and comfortable appearance. 
 
 * 
 * * 
 
 At last here we are ! Hardly installed at the 
 hotel, in a room looking out upon the City Hall, 
 happy in my thoughts after all the agitations, the 
 distractions and emotions of an arrival in a new 
 world, I experience something strange and inex- 
 pressible — a delight of independence amounting 
 almost to intoxication. In fact, was it not to con- 
 quer this independence that I gave up all the rest ? 
 
 Ecce nova facio omnia : in this country where 
 all is new to me, everything within me must 
 become new also. 
 
 A crowd of questions already present them- 
 selves to my mind. How can I solve them ? At 
 all events, I shall use the criterion of truth which 
 was given me by my illustrious and holy director, 
 Pere de Ravignan : "All that tends to elevate the 
 mind and enlarge the heart is true ; all that has a 
 contrary effect is false." Then may I know Thee, 
 O Lord, and may I know myself ! Noverim te, 
 noverim me ! 
 
 With virtue for a mission, with God for my 
 
ii6 a Soul's pildiimage 
 
 hope, is there not here enough to give value to 
 my Hfe ? And who shall prevent me from follow- 
 ing this double and worthy object ? 
 
 September 23 d. 
 
 May this day, the anniversary of my birth, 
 begin for me a new life. To live is not enough. 
 I have a work to do. Liberty and truth — here 
 are my two idols. Liberty for the truth and the 
 truth through hberty, here is the means and here 
 is the end. 
 
 Let us leave the past ; it is dead ! 
 
 Let us live for the future ; it is only in view of 
 it I can act. 
 
 * * 
 
 Knowing that Boston was the capital of mind 
 and the center of culture in the great Republic, I 
 determined to take up my residence there for a 
 time at least, in order to bring myself in touch 
 with American life and thought at its best. 
 
 November 3, 1855. 
 
 The very day after my arrival a friend, hap- 
 pily met at the Revere House, took me to 
 the home of Mr. Longfellow, the pre-eminent 
 poet of the new world. His reception was 
 most gracious ; he received us in the room 
 where Washington held his headquarters, and 
 
XLbe Bcw Worl& "7 
 
 where a Frenchman loves to find the name 
 of Lafayette. Mr. Longfellow kindly proposed 
 me a dinner of introduction, so that the first 
 official dinner I took in the United States was 
 at the house of one ot America's purest glories, 
 a house venerated as a sanctuary by his country- 
 men, and in company with several of the most 
 cultivated minds of Boston ; for Mr. Longfel- 
 low, who does nothing by halves, had invited to 
 this dinner the leading professors of the University 
 of Cambridge. A delicate attention on his part, 
 too, was that the dinner was prepared and served 
 entirely a la frangaise. But what followed I 
 valued and enjoyed far more than the dinner. 
 When the twelve other guests had gone home, 
 he asked me to remain alone in order that we 
 might engage in more intimate conversation. I 
 will not soon forget his charming candor and 
 warm-hearted sympathy, which soon won my con- 
 fidence and made it easy for me to speak to him of 
 my personal experiences. He understood me, 
 approved and encouraged my present determina- 
 tion and declared himself my friend. This day, 
 and, above all, the conversation which closed it, 
 shall ever have a part among my best souvenirs. 
 
 November sth. 
 
 Almost by chance I was introduced to-day to 
 
n8 a Soul'a ptlgrfmage 
 
 the Bishop of Massachusetts, the Right Rev. Dr. 
 Manton Eastburn. I was not prepared for this 
 introduction, and when it was proposed, I regretted 
 that my costume was not such as to meet a person 
 of such dignity. On seeing his lordship, all 
 awkwardness on my part disappeared. Not one 
 distinctive mark characterized this man, save his 
 fine presence and distinguished and affable manners. 
 The bishop spoke to me as a minister of Christ 
 and showed me much kindness. I had not to fall 
 on my knees before this good man, as one 
 has to do before the so-called grandeurs of the 
 Roman hierarchy. A cordial shake of the hand 
 advantageously replaced this Pharisaic ceremony. 
 The bishop is, with the ministers under his juris- 
 diction, the primus inter pares, a sort of elder 
 brother. Surely this manner of being and acting 
 is more apostolic than that of the superb prelates 
 under Roman anthority. 
 
 November 15th. 
 
 The circle of my acquaintances, and I may say 
 of my friends, is enlarging every day. They are, 
 almost without exception, noble types of humanity. 
 Is there a city that can be compared with Boston 
 for the number of superior men it contains in every 
 branch of excellence ? 
 
 Yesterday I was presented to one especially 
 
Zbe tlew "motlQ U9 
 
 worthy, a true gentleman, and a member of the 
 American Congress, the Hon. Robert C. Winthrop. 
 To-day the one who now occupies the pulpit of 
 Dr. Channing, his worthy successor in noble quali- 
 ties of heart and soul. Rev. Dr. Ezra Gannett, came 
 to invite me to dine at his house with a gathering 
 of distinguished men whom he desired me to know. 
 May I prove worthy of such kindness ! I have 
 been in this incomparable city only a fortnight, and 
 already I find myself in pleasant relation with the 
 most estimable of its citizens. 
 
 November 2 2d. 
 
 Under the patronage of my new friends, all of 
 them persons of influence, I delivered yesterday 
 evening in a large hall my first discourse in 
 America. The assembly was numerous and select, 
 I was listened to with manifest sympathy, and the 
 success of this, my first effort, was most encour- 
 aging. The favor which this introductory dis- 
 course obtained with the press of the city, as well 
 as my personal acquaintances, remove all anxiety 
 as to my ability to make for myself an honorable 
 position in the United States. 
 
 November 24th. 
 
 One thing only has happened thus far to mar 
 the pleasure of my stay here. I was approached 
 
U Soul's pildtimage 
 
 to-day by a clergyman of the Congregationalist 
 Church with a proposition to identify myself with 
 that denomination. This gentleman had been 
 especially kind to me, and I hardly knew how to 
 meet, without offense, what to him no doubt was 
 a worthy act of zeal. I found myself in a particu- 
 larly painful position ; either give up my indepen- 
 dence of soul, which to me is of sovereign value, 
 so that to acquire it I felt it my duty to sacrifice 
 everything, or appear to betray another duty 
 especially dear to my heart, the duty of gratitude. 
 In consideration of my future as well as my past 
 one course only was open to me, and this I 
 resolved to follow though it might cut me off from 
 friends. 
 
 November 25th. 
 
 To-day I can either boast or reproach myself 
 for having sat in the assembly of those whom the 
 orthodox call infidels. 1 went to hear Theodore 
 Parker at the Music Hall — Theodore Parker, who 
 is avoided and disavowed even by the Unitarians. 
 Now I must confess that in all he said there was 
 not an idea nor a word that wounded me ; on the 
 contrary, this appeared to be just the atmosphere 
 for my present state of mind. Mr. Parker, in my 
 sense, is a logical and truly brave preacher ; the 
 others, I speak of course of the liberals, seemed 
 
Ube Bew Morl6 
 
 to draw back from the consequences of the prin- 
 ciples they have laid down. Here is a Protestant, 
 indeed, in the full sense of the word. After the 
 service I was introduced to Mr. Parker, who 
 already knew something of my history, and wel- 
 comed me with marked politeness. He invited 
 me to call upon him for a confidential talk at any 
 time that I should feel inclined to do so. I shall 
 
 avail myself of this invitation. 
 
 * 
 
 * * 
 
 I perceive that in ceasing to be a Catholic the 
 more catholic I have become. The further I go 
 away from Rome the more my horizon extends, 
 the more my principles broaden, the larger grows 
 my heart, and, consequently, the more truly 
 catholic I grow to be in feeling as well as in 
 thought. There is nothing more anti-catholic 
 than the Church which pretends to appropriate to 
 itself that noble and beautiful name. 
 
 * * 
 
 Wendell Phillips has been preaching at the 
 
 Music Hall in place of Theodore Parker, who is 
 ill. I like that. Why has not a learned layman, 
 endowed with a message of truth, as much right as 
 a minister to speak on religion ? In some ways he 
 is even more qualified to do so, for a minister can 
 hardly speak disinterestedly. A man who, in order 
 to keep his position and the consideration he 
 
Ti Soul's SMldtimage 
 
 enjoys, is obliged to speak in a particular sense, no 
 matter how sincere he may be, can inspire only a 
 relative confidence. All his studies and medita- 
 tions have been made in conformity with the views 
 he has committed himself to preach. 
 
 I feel somewhat frightened by all the questions 
 which present themselves to me. Men have so 
 misrepresented religion ; they have so exerted 
 themselves in showing as divine their own concep- 
 tions, that in all that is given me as coming 
 from God I tremble lest I should find most of it 
 mere human invention. Now as the truth is the 
 only thing I seek, I shall not stop in the middle of 
 the road. May the good God enlighten and direct 
 me ! I desire to worship Him alone, according to 
 His express command : " Thou shalt worship the 
 
 Lord, thy God, and Him only shalt thou serve !" 
 
 * 
 * * 
 
 Think for thyself ! Descartes showed himself a 
 sage, indeed, when he expressed this profound 
 principle. And that man only deserves the same 
 title who acts according to this precept. Think 
 for thyself! This is the beginning of wisdom. 
 " The whole land is in desolation because no one 
 reflects." It is true, that it is easier to accept 
 without serious examination a ready made religion. 
 This suits idle minds, and they are many. Never- 
 
Ube IRcw moxlti 123 
 
 theless, it belongs only to children to swallow 
 
 indiscriminately everything put into their mouths. 
 
 Having come to maturity, they distinguish for 
 
 themselves between what agrees and disagrees 
 
 with them. It should be the same with things of 
 
 the mind. Must the soul remain purely passive 
 
 and receive every impression to which it pleases 
 
 this one and that one to subject it ? Active by 
 
 nature, must it not act ? If I have the discerning 
 
 spirit, is it not that I should employ it to discern ? 
 
 Must I move only when some one moves me ? 
 
 * 
 
 Sometimes we hear people who consider them- 
 selves without religion, compHmenting the faithful 
 in this way : " You who are able to believe must 
 be very happy." I confess I cannot envy such 
 happiness. If those who believe, understand at 
 the same time, well and good. But then one 
 should say: "You are very happy,, you who 
 understand." What real happiness can there be 
 in holding as indisputable things in no wise cer- 
 tain ! It is the happiness of illusion such as the 
 imagination alone can give, and I claim to have 
 enjoyed it formerly as well as anybody. But now 
 that the edifice of the belief to which I owed it has 
 crumbled down, I do not feel that I should be 
 pitied. I enjoy, on the contrary, the satisfaction 
 of a soul free from prejudice, who loves truth 
 
124 a Soul's pilgrimage 
 
 above all things, and will never be affirmative 
 
 except when it knows. 
 
 * 
 
 * * 
 
 And thus religion, as they understand it, extin- 
 guishes the sweetest and most legitimate feelings 
 of the human heart. It is because of their religion 
 that my brothers and sisters have ceased to cherish 
 any regard for one who loves them dearly. It is 
 because of their religion that several of my former 
 friends deny and despise me. Alas ! it is because 
 of religion that one curses, slanders, persecutes 
 and crucifies. It is because of religion that one 
 delivers to Satan nine-tenths of the children of men 
 who are at the same time the children of God. 
 And these poor blind consider such feelings as 
 pleasing to Him who has said : " This is my 
 
 command, that ye love one another." 
 
 * 
 
 * * 
 
 " Do you believe in revelation ? " I was asked. 
 How can I help believing in it. Every discovery, 
 every human invention (and there are many in 
 these days) is a revelation of its own kind. The 
 Gospel is the greatest of religious revelations, the 
 law of gravitation one of the greatest of scientific 
 revelations, 
 
 Dec. 31, 1856. 
 
 What a year ends to-day ! The great experience 
 
Hbe 'fflew ■fflllorl& 125 
 
 I have made in it is that the more one draws near 
 to nature, the more one walks in the way of truth 
 and virtue. It seems to me, and I thank God for 
 it, that my moral level has been raised. May it be 
 really so ! May each year increase my love of 
 the good, the beautiful and the true ! I have no 
 longer what sectarians call faith, that faith which is 
 nothing but belief, and is taken by them for abso- 
 lute certainty, but I have confidence in God, and 
 that is sufficient for me. The wants, the aspira- 
 tions, which I find in my soul must have some real 
 object; I long for truth, justice, affection, happi- 
 ness, and I hope to fill my soul with them some 
 day. I aspire to perfection, and I shall endeavor 
 to perfect myself A day must come when all my 
 faculties will attain their legitimate satisfaction. 
 Where, when and how, I do not know. But 
 everything in me tells me that it will be so, and so 
 I hope. 
 
CHAPTER XL 
 
 VARIED EXPERIENCES ; NEW YORK. 
 
 THIS first year in New England was most 
 encouraging. My literary conferences met 
 with unexpected success. A complete course was 
 given in the hall of the Y. M. C. A., Boston, and 
 various series at Cambridge, Lynn, Milton, Nahant 
 and Newport. From all these places the most 
 gratifying letters came to me quite unexpectedly 
 from several persons well known in the world of 
 letters. Among them we find such names as those 
 of Mr. Longfellow, Theodore Parker, Dr. Hedge, 
 Edmund Quincy, Wendell Phillips, Lothrop Mot- 
 ley, Bishop Eastburn, Charles Brooks, Henry 
 Tuckerman, Robert C. Winthrop, Rufus Choate, 
 Edward Everett, etc., etc. Notwithstanding, there 
 was nothing permanent as yet in my position. 
 
 Two propositions were just then made to me : 
 the one, to fill the professorship of French lan- 
 guage and literature in Washington University, at 
 St. Louis ; the other, to establish a collegiate 
 school for young ladies at Lexington, Ky. 
 
 We started for St. Louis first, but as the aspect 
 
IDarleO Experiences ; mew lorft 127 
 
 of things there did not appear favorable, we soon 
 left for Lexington, where we were already known to 
 the family of Senator Duncan, and were well fur- 
 nished with letters to Mr. Breckinridge, the family of 
 Henry Clay and several others. One of the largest 
 and best houses in the city was put at our disposal, 
 and many pupils were already enrolled, when an 
 incident happened which brought all our projects 
 to a sudden end. 
 
 One Sunday, in returning from church, we 
 passed without knowing it, through the slave 
 market. It was an open square where many men 
 had gathered and were employed in bartering for 
 a female slave. Coming from Boston, where I had 
 been associated with Wendell Phillips, Lloyd 
 Garrison, and others of the abolitionist party, to 
 which my heart thoroughly belonged, I could not 
 help in some decree showing the pain and indig- 
 nation I felL This criticism stirred up bad feel- 
 ings, which some of the people did not hesitatate to 
 express so openly that a friendly ear which caught 
 them lost no time in repeating them to me. Late 
 that night, I was awakened by a soft rapping upon 
 our window which opened upon the back piazza of 
 the hotel, and found there a young mulatto, who 
 was engaged in doing some printing for the school. 
 He brought news of a plot to tar and feather me, 
 and in this high-handed and desperate way to cut 
 
128 B Soul's Dllgtimage 
 
 short my dangerous doctrines. I did not propose 
 to retract what I had said, and so there was noth- 
 ing for me to do but to leave the place at once, 
 which we did at daybreak next day. Wc turned 
 our steps to Cincinnati where at least we should be 
 on free soil. 
 
 Our sojourn in this city was a brief one, but it 
 brought us in touch with many choice minds, chief 
 among them, the Rev. Moncure Conway, minister 
 to the Unitarian congregation, and Mr. Spofford, 
 later librarian of Congress, Editor of the Cincinnati 
 Commercial. Of the first of these, Theodore Par- 
 ker wrote to me : " He is a young man of superior 
 talents, and whose ideas entirely accord with my 
 own ; " of the second, Mr. Parker said : " He is 
 the most learned man of the West, a man of heart 
 as well as of mind." Ample opportunity was given 
 me to prove the truth of these expressions of 
 esteem, and to my personal contact with these two 
 noble-spirited men I look back with feelings of true 
 satisfaction. 
 
 I read in my journal these reflections : 
 What a fine and rare sight to find united in one 
 church men free from all prejudice, having put 
 aside every preconception, with no other care than 
 instruction and edification, ready to sacrifice all 
 things for the truth, eager to come, under the eye 
 of God, to a deeper knowledge of the sacredness 
 
VJarleO lEipericncea ; "Mew Korh 129 
 
 of life and the dignity of the human soul. This is 
 the spectacle which the liberal church of Mr. Con- 
 way presents to-day. For the first time since I left 
 Rome, I find myself able and willing to preach in 
 a church. What a difference between what I said 
 to-day, and the ideas I expressed then ! I was a 
 man this morning — a free man ! Formerly I was 
 a blind fanatic. 
 
 * * 
 
 I hear that the brother of Dr. Newman, who, 
 like him, was one of the glories of Oxford, has 
 just taken a road diametrically, opposed to that 
 followed by the Oratorian. He belongs to-day to 
 the school of Parker. Thus both these brothers 
 have been logical ; the one has followed the logic 
 of fanaticism, the other that of free thought. 
 For the first, it is authority which makes 
 truth ; for the second, it is truth which makes 
 authority. Mr. Newman's book, " The Phases 
 of My Creed," appeals to me deeply. It 
 is nearly my own history ; the same doubts, the 
 same trials, the same reflections, the same transac- 
 tions, the same conclusions. There is in this 
 volume reason, logic and an admirable sincerity. 
 It teaches me to know and to resist better the 
 sectarian spirit. Oh ! blest a thousand times be the 
 day when I arose above all considerations of sect ! 
 
 I have been admitted as an honorary member 
 
130 B Soul'0 pilgrimage 
 
 of the Literary Club of Cincinnati. At the first 
 meeting which I attended, the discussion bore 
 upon a religious question. What I especially 
 admire in the two most distinguished members of 
 this club, Messrs. Spofford and Conway, is the 
 straightforward and simple manner in which they 
 answer"! do not know," on precisely the same 
 subjects which the ignorant treat with all the pre- 
 sumption and assurance that springs from narrow 
 and limited intelligence. I can have confidence 
 only in a man who can doubt. It is only fanati- 
 cism or folly which never questions. 
 
 * * 
 The lover of truth never admits anything but 
 
 what is demonstrated to him. He is very exacting 
 in regard to the premises, but the moment he has 
 accepted them, he goes from consequence to con- 
 sequence to the last limits. Nothing can stop him. 
 He is by no means preoccupied with the final 
 result to which he may be brought. He wants 
 truth, even should it be contrary to all the opinions 
 in favor ; should it be painful for him and for 
 others ; should it be a wall of separation between 
 him and his friends ; between his former self and 
 himself of to-day ; 
 
 Justum et tenacem, 
 
 Impavidum ferient ruinae. 
 
 He goes on, goes on always, with this firm belief. 
 
DarieJ) Eipetlencce ; IRew Korft 131 
 
 that if severe logic leads him where at first he 
 should not have thought of going, he is, neverthe- 
 less, in the right path, and that, if in the right 
 
 path, he must reach the true goal. 
 
 * 
 
 There is no sect, political, social or religious, 
 which has not its fanatics. There are pagan 
 fanatics and Christian fanatics, fanatics of the Pope 
 and fanatics of the Bible, fanatics of absolutism and 
 fanatics of democracy, fanatics of feudalism and 
 fanatics of socialism ; but where are the fanatics 
 of truth — those who love truth more than any- 
 party, any system, any creed ; who would be wil- 
 ling to give up or suffer anything for truth's sake ? 
 Their number is so limited that they can not form 
 a body. Well ! should I be the only one of such 
 a body, the party of truth, I would be its fanatical 
 partisan. 
 
 * * 
 
 Some say to me : " Submit thy reason." Any 
 one who wishes to deceive me would say the same. 
 He who at first requires from me such a concession 
 
 renders himself suspected by the very fact. 
 
 * 
 
 * * 
 
 Before everything else, we are free. Freedom is 
 our most valuable and most glorious privilege : let 
 us know how to preserve and defend it. / am. free : 
 this must be the starting-point in every religious 
 
132 B Soul's PUgiimase 
 
 investigation or discussion. The minister or the 
 fanatic of any sect comes to me declaring authori- 
 tatively : " My religion is the only true one ; you 
 must submit yourself to it" I answer him : " I am 
 free ; I am so by divine right ; and as such I refuse 
 your demand, unless you produce here before me 
 your titles, but evident, incontestable titles, such as 
 will exclude every possible doubt, and will not 
 permit the least hesitation. Till then, woe and 
 shame to me if unfaithfully and like a coward I 
 should forfeit what I hold as most precious and 
 inalienable in the world — my liberty ! Oh ! if 
 every one — and it is the paramount duty of each — 
 should act so ! What a desert then in the so-called 
 
 Orthodox or infallible churches ! 
 
 * 
 
 * * 
 
 What is the rarest thing among men ? A man. 
 
 What is the rarest thing among reasonable 
 beings ? Reason. 
 
 What is the rarest thing among free-born souls ? 
 Freedom. 
 
 * * 
 
 We left Cincinnati in some anxiety about the 
 future. New York seemed to me to offer not only 
 the most favorable opportunities for my literary 
 efforts, but also a large field for study of the many 
 and various phases of religious belief and activity. 
 I had but one or two friends in that city, yet I felt 
 
Warteft Experiences ; IRew Uotft 133 
 
 that they were men whom I could trust. This 
 confidence was not misplaced. From the moment 
 of our arrival, Henry Tuckerman, Dr. Henry 
 Bellows and others took a most lively interest in 
 our well-being. It was shortly arranged that I 
 should give a course of sermons on Unity in the 
 church of Dr. Bellows, on the corner of Twentieth 
 street and Fourth avenue. These sermons met 
 with a most encouraging reception and drew many 
 people of liberal mind among the various Protest- 
 ant denominations. The impressions of my audi- 
 tors were not always the same. What pleased 
 some in the free and radical discussion of the sub- 
 ject before me, was percisely what displeased 
 others. For the orthodox were present as well as 
 the liberal thinkers. Notwithstanding, even among 
 the more positive denominations there were those 
 who expressed their sympathy and agreement with 
 my views. An Episcopalian lady, with all the 
 exterior appearance of wealth and cultivation, came 
 forward after the first service to congratulate me 
 upon having undertaken such a useful mission. 
 " There are," she said, " among our people a num- 
 ber of souls more or less independent who cannot 
 accept heartily every dogmatic assertion of those 
 who calls themselves orthodox. Reasons of var- 
 ious kinds do not permit them to say all they 
 think in their ordinary surroundings, and they 
 
134 B Soul's pilgrimage 
 
 would not go and hear a declared Unitarian, such 
 as Dr. Bellows. But they believe that they may 
 attend a French service, where the preaching is 
 liberal, without offending any one." 
 
 As the church of Dr. Bellows could not always 
 be at our disposal, my friends made arrangements 
 that I should use a hall in the Cooper Institute, 
 and there continue the free and open discussion of 
 religious doctrine and truth. I preached there 
 during the eight months between October, 1858, 
 and May, 1859. The success of this enterprise 
 was somewhat remarkable. The hall, though an 
 ample one, was, on several occasions, found to be 
 too small for the audience. A large number ot 
 my hearers were men belonging to the press of 
 the city and the learned professions. Along with 
 this work a little club was started under the name 
 of " The Council of Ten," with the object of 
 studying and investigatmg the various religious 
 systems of the world. This club continued for 
 several years, and while it may not have accom- 
 plished any great practical results, it served at 
 least to deepen our interest and heighten our 
 enthusiasm in the pursuit of religious truth. 
 
 My Sunday discourses might have continued 
 indefinitely had I not received in April of 1859 ^ 
 letter from Mr. Longfellow, asking me to take 
 charge of the department of French language and 
 
Wai1e& JEiperfences ; "fflew lorh 13S 
 
 literature at Harvard University. As this invita- 
 tion came to me entirely unsought, and was accom- 
 panied by an expression of deep affection on the 
 part of Mr. Longfellow, I asked myself with no 
 little concern whether I should not accept it. The 
 thought of putting down a task so lately begun 
 and so full of promise was distasteful to me, and I 
 only allowed myself to accept Mr. Longfellow's 
 invitation with the conviction that at some future 
 day I would resume such a work. Looking back 
 from my present position, I think I can see the 
 hand of Providence guiding me to the decision] I 
 then made. In spite of the unexpected popularity 
 of this series of services, I do not believe I was 
 entirely fitted either in mind or in my appreciation 
 of the truths of Christianity to bring such an 
 undertaking to good effect. My views were still 
 reactionary, and had not fully recovered from the 
 unsettled condition consequent upon my rejection 
 of the Roman claims. 
 
 Many were the expressions of regret on the 
 part of those who made up our congregation that 
 the services were to be discontinued. A generous 
 effort was made, started by Mr. Leavitt Hunt, to 
 establish the enterprise upon a permanent basis ; 
 notwithstanding, as this came after my letter of 
 acceptance had been sent to Mr. Longfellow, it 
 could not accomplish its purpose. 
 
136 B Soul's PUgtimage 
 
 Our last meeting was a most impressive one. 
 I made my farewell in these words : 
 
 " To-day must cease, at least for some time, 
 this work which has become very dear to me, 
 and which, in spite of difficulties and con- 
 tradictions that confronted it at the beginning, 
 has already brought me true pleasure and 
 valued encouragement. Three kinds of persons 
 have frequented our services. The first, I regret 
 to say, are the Scribes and Pharisees of Christian- 
 ity. They are not many, but they have been in 
 attendance with decidedly hostile intentions. I 
 dare not hope that anything I have said has been 
 useful to this class of hearers. They belong to 
 those who have eyes and see not, and ears and 
 hear not. Jesus Himself does not seem to have 
 made any notable conversion among the Pharisees. 
 St. Paul, it is true, belonged to this caste, but in 
 order that he should see the light by a kind of 
 miracle scales fell from his eyes. May this marvel 
 be renewed in favor of one at least of the blind of 
 whom I have just spoken. 
 
 " Other persons in great numbers came, attracted 
 chiefly by curiosity. I do not blame them ; on 
 the contrary, curiosity, accompanied by sincerity, 
 naturally leads to the truth as investigation leads 
 to knowledge. Besides, it is sweet to me to state 
 that this curiosity, with a good number, soon gave 
 
IParteO Eipetiences ; IRew l^orFs 137 
 
 place to a true interest. I have had encouraging 
 evidences of this. 
 
 " Finally, many amongst you have from the first 
 favored these meetings with your sympathy. I 
 thank you for it, and I trust that to you, as well as 
 to me, each Sunday has marked a step forward in 
 the development of religious thought and life. It 
 is to understand one another when both have the 
 single high object — the pursuit of the true, the 
 good and the right. 
 
 " I owe here my particular thanks to the noble 
 friends who, learning that I have been called else- 
 where, conceived so generous a plan to continue 
 this work and to keep me here. I shall carry away 
 with me a sweet remembrance of their interest and 
 affection. Besides, we separate, I like to think, 
 only for a time. 
 
 "Several amongst you, in thanking me, have said 
 I made them think. I am glad of it, for this is the 
 result I desire above all other. I do not ask you 
 to adopt my way of viewing things, but at least 
 think and judge for yourselves. All our dignity, 
 says Pascal, is in thought. Think then, think the 
 more seriously, because the matters presented to 
 you for reflection are so grave and lofty. Error, 
 falsehood, and crime come often because no one 
 thinks. Thought leads to the truth and the truth 
 leads to virtue." 
 
138 H SouI'B pilgtimage 
 
 If I had any doubt of the serious interest which 
 this enterprise had awakened, it would have been 
 dissipated at this, our last meeting. The number 
 of those in attendance more than filled the hall and 
 many were visibly moved. The adieux which were 
 made me, and the regrets which my friends 
 expressed were most gratifying. For a long time 
 I have not been so deeply and happily impressed 
 as at this our last service in New York. 
 
CHAPTER XII. 
 
 BOSTON. 
 
 HARDLY had I begun my course of instruc- 
 tion at the university, when a proposition 
 was made me by Mr. Agassiz, whose school in 
 Cambridge will long be remembered as the leading 
 institution for the education of young women in 
 this countiy. The instructors were most of them 
 professors at the university. Mr. Agassiz was pre- 
 paring at this time to make a journey of explora- 
 tion in South America, which would likely con- 
 sume many months, and he came to me with the 
 request that I should take his lecture hours in the 
 school for a course in French literature. I at once 
 accepted this offer, and found myself happy in a 
 work so congenial to my training and inclina- 
 tions. 
 
 But another proposition followed this, which 
 pleased me even more. The Rev. Dr. Manning, 
 pastor of the Old South Church, a Congregationalist 
 of the liberal school, having heard of the work I had 
 been doing in New York, called on me and asked 
 me to undertake a similar work in Boston. He 
 
I40 a Soul's pilgrlmaflc 
 
 placed the Old South Chapel at my disposal, and 
 the next Saturday the first of my services was 
 announced in the papers, and on Sunday I found 
 the chapel full. To take up religious work again 
 was most agreeable to me, especially as I had not 
 ceased to regret my enforced separation from our 
 little band of enthusiasts in New York. 
 
 My life at Cambridge renewed many of the associ- 
 ations which I had found so helpful and gratifying 
 during my first visit to Boston. Among others, it 
 was my privilege to come in contact with that rare 
 mind, Ralph Waldo Emerson. I recall particularly 
 a day I spent at his home in Concord. In theafter- 
 noon, he proposed a walk in a grove a short dis- 
 tance from his home. In the middle of this bit of 
 woods was a somewhat spacious pond which Mr. 
 Emerson looked upon as a lake. We sat down on 
 a little hill which commanded a view of it. After 
 some moments of mute contemplation, Emerson 
 said to me : " It is now fifteen years that every 
 day when the weather and my occupations permit 
 I come and sit for a few moments in this place, 
 and each time I find in this little lake some new 
 beauty." Thus it is that for a man who lives the 
 life of the spirit, even a narrow lake may become 
 an inexhaustible source of inspiration and enjoy- 
 ment, whilst for the common-place man even the 
 vast ocean itself may seem to be nothing but a 
 
:Koston 141 
 
 body of salt water, sometimes calm, and sometimes 
 agitated. 
 
 I made the acquaintance at this time of two 
 other men of eminence, James Freeman Clarke, 
 and Thos. Starr King. The latter was to prove 
 not only an agreeable companion but a warm- 
 hearted friend. In such an atmosphere, among 
 men of many views, I found ample food for 
 reflection and abundant opportunity for study 
 in the lines of both religious and political 
 thought. 
 
 Here are some of my reflections : 
 
 If the present is not an age of religious convic- 
 tions, it is certainly one of religious sincerity. 
 Without failing in any degree in the respect due to 
 things sacred, or only so called, it dares to look 
 upon them steadily, and even holds that to be its 
 duty. Man is no longer afraid of God ; on the 
 contrary he seeks Him. We consider, then, not as 
 a sacrilege, but as an act of conscientious piety, 
 the work of criticism, now undertaken by so many 
 sincerely religious men, on the historical bases of 
 Christianity ; and we believe that there will result 
 from such a work, in place of the idolatrous 
 worship paid by so many Christians to certain men 
 and certain things, a more judicious appreciation, 
 and a more reasonable estimation of those men and 
 
142 a Soul's pflgtimage 
 
 those things. Superstition will undoubtedly lose 
 
 by this. Religion cannot but gain. 
 
 * 
 
 * * 
 
 What is religion? A science? No. A law? 
 
 No. It is a want; the noblest of our nature. This 
 
 want man satisfies with elements more or less 
 
 coarse, more or less pure, according to the degree 
 
 of his development and advancement ; but the 
 
 moment he feels it, he becomes a religious man, 
 
 even should he be counted amongst pagans and 
 
 idolators. Whosoever does not feel that want has 
 
 but an incomplete human nature, and resembles 
 
 one deprived of reason ; the most precious of his 
 
 faculties has been denied him ; and whosoever 
 
 experiencing that want does not endeavor to satisfy 
 
 it, deserves, and he alone deserves, the name of 
 
 "infidel." 
 
 * 
 
 * * 
 
 Religion as a principle is the relation, the link, 
 between the soul and God ; and practical religion 
 is that relation, that link, growing closer and 
 closer. God, the supreme perfection, is the end ; 
 the soul freely possessing all its faculties is forever 
 drawn towards that supreme splendor. The race 
 it has to run embraces the immense distance 
 which separates it from God; its religion grows just 
 in proportion as it advances nearer to the divine 
 end. Every truth discovered, every good deed 
 
JSoston 143 
 
 performed, each throb of pure love felt, every 
 pious emotion experienced, is one more step in the 
 royal road that leads to heaven ! 
 
 " Be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect." 
 All religion, theoretical and practical, is comprised 
 in these words. 
 
 * * 
 
 Is religion, therefore, nothing but the accom- 
 plishment of duty, the love and pursuit of truth, 
 justice and virtue? No! All that belongs to 
 religion ; but religion is yet more than that ; and 
 the only proof I should require of it is found in 
 the religious faculty with which we are gifted — a 
 distinct faculty, neither intelligence, nor con- 
 science, nor imagination, nor will, and which con- 
 sequently, like each one of these, has its own pecu- 
 liar object. To bring these same faculties in 
 close relation with their ultimate object, God — to 
 make them divine, if I may say so — that is the 
 work of religion ! What does our intelligence 
 seek for ? Truth ! Now, the religious faculty 
 leads the intellect to God as the supreme source 
 from which all truth flows, and by whom alone 
 this thirst for truth can be fully assuaged ; and so 
 with all our faculties. 
 
 Hence it follows that a man may love beyond 
 all things truth, virtue and right, without being 
 really a reUgious man. Little is wanting to make 
 
144 B Soul's pilgtimage 
 
 him such; but that little is essential. There is 
 before us the altar ; everything is prepared for the 
 offering; the odorous wood, the rich gums are 
 there ; what is wanting that the incense may rise 
 up ? A spark ! 
 
 * * 
 
 The time is coming, and for many it has come 
 already, when a man to be sincerely religious must 
 be a rationalist. Let no one conclude from this, 
 that in order to be religious it is enough to be a 
 rationalist. Rationalism applies only to those 
 truths in' religion which are within the dominion of 
 reason, which belong to the intellect. Now, 
 religion is less a matter of reason than of feeling. 
 Reason confirms the discoveries of the soul in 
 religious matters, but does not make them. These 
 are the objects of faith. Thus it is that the exist- 
 ence of God is essentially an article of faith ; for no 
 premises, however large, can embrace the infinite 
 as a conclusion. This is, in fact, the only legiti- 
 mate article of faith, for all truths proceed 
 
 logically from that absolute principle. 
 
 * 
 
 * * 
 
 Good actions are not enough for a religious life. 
 Piety must have its share. There are in religion 
 two elements — an active and a mystic one. On 
 the one hand, the union with God intimately felt, 
 a source of unspeakable peace and delight ; on the 
 
Boston I4S 
 
 other, life ordained, sanctified, fruitful in works of 
 mercy and virtue. He who loves God accomplishes 
 his law. To love God, then, and to accomplish 
 his law, sums up all religion. It requires two 
 things — piety and virtue. 
 
 * 
 
 "O God, Thou art my God." These words 
 most admirably express the distinction between 
 ritual and doctrinal religion and heartfelt and 
 practical religion. Every one can say, and almost 
 everyone says, "O God." Every one talks of 
 God and may invoke and praise Him, but that man 
 only is religious who in all the sincerity and fervor 
 of his soul exclaims, "My God;" who has made 
 God his own ; who has communed with Him. 
 Till then, his religion, if he professes any, amounts 
 to nothing but vain speculation and sterile formal- 
 ism. But then, it becomes life, the native imma- 
 terial life of the soul. O God, be my God ! 
 
 May II, i860. 
 
 He is dead. What a loss ! The nation will at 
 last appreciate him. Strange circumstance — the 
 very day they learn the sad news is the one on 
 which the Unitarians hold their annual convention, 
 in the same hall where each Sunday the crowd 
 tries to find sufficient seats to hear him. It could 
 not be said that all the Unitarians who attended 
 
146 B Soul's pilgtimage 
 
 this fete were in full sympathy with Theodore Par- 
 ker, notwithstanding, all prejudice this evening 
 seemed to have vanished as if by enchantment. 
 When the fatal news became known, each speaker 
 in turn referred affectionately and reverently to the 
 prophet who had been taken from them, and each 
 time the public received his name with the most 
 heartfelt testimony of sympathy and regard. 
 Indeed, all the interest of the meeting turned to a 
 
 manifestation in favor of the Reformer. 
 
 * 
 * * 
 
 Already he lives again. Even the Courrier des 
 
 Etats Unis, which had hever before mentioned his 
 
 name, proclaims him as the first intelligence of this 
 
 great country. How many there are who have 
 
 never read one of his works, and yet who will now 
 
 devour them, in surprise that such substantial food 
 
 has been so near them, at their very doors. He 
 
 will thus be more useful in his death than in his 
 
 life, and this is what happens with every prophet. 
 
 Why are we so astonished that their death should 
 
 be so calm, so full of faith and hope ? 
 
 * 
 
 Precious remembrance ! I learn that this incom- 
 parable man, a fortnight before his death, had sent 
 from Florence an order to his publisher in Boston 
 to furnish me with all his writings. Already several 
 of his works, containing gracious words, written by 
 
3Bo6ton 147 
 
 his own hand, were in my possession, but this new 
 and last testimony of his affectionate remembrance 
 touches me more deeply than all the others. 
 
 The death of the just is precious in the sight of 
 the Lord. To-day we held the memorial service 
 to Theodore Parker. What an immense throng 
 gathered at the Music Hall. The quality of the 
 audience was not less remarkable than their num- 
 ber. There were only men present — I mean free 
 and intelligent beings. The soul of this great man 
 seemed to soar over the vast crowd and to inspire 
 each one with a sense of the sacredness of life and 
 
 the dignity of manhood. 
 
 * 
 
 * * 
 
 Give honor to whom honor is due. The most 
 worthy, best instructed, most distinguished men in 
 every way, whom I " have known in the Roman 
 Church are the Jesuits, and I particularly appreci- 
 ate the religious and spiritual experience which I 
 acquired in their house of probation at Avignon. 
 Though one must repudiate the system, one cannot 
 but admire the men. I can say as much of the 
 Unitarians. They are for me the most intelligent 
 of Protestant ministers, and in almost every 
 instance superior men. Their liberalism is sincere ; 
 they love and preach virtue for its own sake ; their 
 discourses are less sermons than lofty moral essays 
 
148 a Soul's pilgrimage 
 
 in which the conscience as well as the mind finds 
 much to stimulate and strengthen it. Of all those 
 who honored me with their friendship, there was 
 not one for whom I did not entertain a high and 
 sincere regard. But I must mention one especially, 
 the best man, perhaps, whom I have had the privi- 
 lege of knowing, the Rev. Dr. Gannett, contempo- 
 rary and successor to Dr. Channing. I remember, 
 that on one occasion he spoke in words of the most 
 sincere admiration of M. de Cheverus, the first 
 Roman Bishop of Boston. He told me this 
 story. 
 
 Abandoned in a miserable cabin outside of 
 Boston was an infirm negro. The bishop found 
 him out and without informing anyone, every 
 evening, after his day's duties, quietly made his 
 way to the cabin and spent his time with this 
 afflicted creature, washing and dressing his sores, 
 making his bed, and providing for his various 
 wants. His servant remarked that each evening 
 the bishop's coat was covered with dust and 
 feathers, and wondering where his master spent 
 his time, followed him afar off on one of his even- 
 ing excursions. Seeing him enter the cabin, he 
 followed, and looking through the loose timbers 
 which made the wall, saw this man of God 
 engaged in his work of mercy. Dr. Gannett told 
 me this story with a kind of admiration for such 
 
3Bo6ton 149 
 
 devotion on the part of a prelate. Little did he 
 suppose that I, myself, would surprise him in the 
 exercise of a no less humble and Christlike 
 charity. I had been told that a certain German 
 teacher was lying ill in a cold and comfortless 
 attic in a miserable quarter of the city and had no 
 one to take care of him. At my first free moment 
 I sought the lodging of this poor man, but Dr. 
 Gannett was there before me. I found him at the 
 door with a broom in his hand, with which he had 
 been sweeping the room of the invalid. I entered 
 and found the sick man sitting up in front of a 
 newly lighted fire, carefully rolled up in a blanket, 
 eating grapes which had been brought him by the 
 good Samaritan. The mattress had been removed 
 from the bed, the sheets had been put out to air, 
 the meager furnishings of the room had been put 
 in order, and all this by the hand of my excellent 
 friend, who appeared quite confused to be caught 
 in the act. 
 
 His embarrassment was not less when, on 
 another occasion, I discovered him in one of the 
 back streets of Boston carrying a bowl of steaming 
 broth into a miserable-looking abode, where, no 
 doubt, dwelt another of his charges. 
 
 My life and work at Harvard University continued 
 until the outbreak of the Rebellion. Naturally 
 
15° B Soul's pilgtimage 
 
 the college life was affected by this serious 
 trouble, and many departments of the university 
 were virtually shut down. Both among the pro- 
 fessors and the students the most ardent patriotism 
 was manifested, and when the call came for volun- 
 teers, a large proportion of our number were not 
 slow to respond. I remember a most affecting 
 scene in this connection, which expressed the deep 
 loyalty of both North and South to what they con- 
 ceived to be the right. When it became evident 
 that the country was upon the verge of a supreme 
 crisis, and that war was inevitable, a general meet- 
 ing of the students was held before separating to 
 go to their several States. Some of our men were 
 Southerners, and it became evident that at the call 
 of duty fellow-student would be obliged to face 
 fellow-student in the impending struggle. This 
 thought cast a very deep solemnity over our meet- 
 ing, and nothing could have been more touching 
 than to see these men, who were presently to fight 
 against each other, embrace one another with the 
 utmost affection on the eve of their separation. 
 
 The attitude of foreign countries toward the 
 North will be remembered as doubtful. England 
 was decidedly antagonistic, while France seemed 
 to be uncertain. Her press was divided and by no 
 means positive in its attitude toward the cause of 
 
M3o6ton 151 
 
 the Union. It seemed to me that I could be of 
 service to my adopted country by visiting Paris 
 and communicating with those in control of the 
 journals of the day, some of whom I knew, with 
 the object of winning their support for the Gov- 
 ernment. I called upon the Rev. Dr. Bellows, 
 President of the Sanitary Commission, and suggested 
 the advisability of such a step as I had in mind. 
 He accepted my project most heartily, and after a 
 conference with the Secretary of State, Mr. Seward, 
 commissioned me to carry out this object. It was 
 arranged that I should start for Paris without delay, 
 see in particular each of the prominent journahsts, 
 preachers and professors who exercised any marked 
 influence on public opinion, and work in the 
 best way to bring them over to the cause of the 
 Union. 
 
 After seven years of absence, I found myself in 
 Paris once more. My emotions cannot be des- 
 cribed, nor is it my desire here to dwell upon the 
 many recollections which came to me as I viewed 
 again places so familiar and formerly so closely 
 identified with my life. As soon as possible I 
 sought interviews with the leading men of the 
 Liberal party, Jules Simon, Eugene Pelletan, Pre- 
 vot-Paradol of Le Journal des Debats, Louis Jour- 
 dan of Le Steele, Elisee Reclus of the Revue des 
 
152 21 Soul's pilgrimage 
 
 Deux Monies, Frederic Morin, Edouard Fauvety, 
 Vacherot and others ; all men of the highest 
 standing in the world of letters. Those who had 
 at first some doubt on the subject soon became 
 convinced that the war was not, on the part of the 
 North, a war for the sovereignty, but a war for 
 deliverance ; that whatever might be the outward 
 pretensions of parties and the particular views of 
 many, slavery was the real cause of the struggle 
 and its abolition must be the ultimate result. And 
 from that moment, with a unity and persever- 
 ance quite remarkable, each and all of these 
 worthy men became earnest defenders of the 
 Union, whether in public journal or in private 
 writing. 
 
 I was, above all, anxious to meet and talk 
 with M. Edouard Laboulaye, for I knew him 
 to be more than all others interested in the con- 
 flict and in sympathy with this country. As he 
 was not then in Paris, I wrote to him at his 
 country seat. I received in answer a letter asking 
 me to come to Bourg-la-reine and spend a day 
 with him. Of course I took advantage of this 
 invitation and passed seven of the most agreeable 
 hours of my life in an uninterrupted conversation 
 with M. Laboulaye. The chief and about the 
 only subject of our talk was the American Repub- 
 lic, her trials, her hopes, her institutions. Great 
 
JSoston irs 
 
 indeed was my surprise to find a Frenchman 
 who had never crossed the Atlantic better acquain- 
 ted with affairs of this country than many 
 Americans, more earnest about the maintanance of 
 the Union than many of our celebrated politicians, 
 and appreciating better our privileges and dan- 
 gers than many of our leaders. Of that conver- 
 sation I shall only relate the rather strange 
 circumstance which was the beginning of his 
 acquaintance with the great men and things of this 
 country. 
 
 One day as M.. Laboulaye was looking for 
 some curiosity or lost treasure, on the shelves 
 of a secondhand book seller of the Quai Voltaire, 
 he by chance opened a stray volume of sermons 
 by William EUery Channing. Sermons by an 
 American preacher were things new to him. The 
 sum of five cents secured the novelty, and while 
 pursuing his course towards the Champs Elysees 
 he began to read it. The more he read, the 
 more his wonder and interest increased, so 
 much so, that he sat down under a tree and could 
 not stop until he had finished the volume. Happy 
 in this unlooked for discovery, he started to return 
 to his house, when he encountered his friend, 
 Armand Bertin, the then celebrated editor of Les 
 Debuts." Congratulate me," said M. Laboulaye, " I 
 have just put my hand on a great man." " Well," 
 
154 B Soul's pilgrimage 
 
 replied the editor, " one who meets with such a 
 good fortune is to be congratulated. And who is 
 your great man ?" " Channing ! " "Canning ? " 
 exclaimed M. Bertin. " A fine discovery indeed ! 
 Everyone knows Canning." " I don't mean Can- 
 ning, the Englishman, I mean Channing, an 
 American preacher ; " and forthwith M. Laboulaye 
 asked the privilege of writing for the Debuts his 
 impressions of " Channing." The chief editor 
 agreed. Not only one, but three articles were suc- 
 cessively published on the Boston divine. Several 
 others soon followed on other American celebrities, 
 and from this moment this country and her institu- 
 tions became the favorite topic of M. Laboulaye's 
 studies. All his discoveries he communicated with 
 a true enthusiasm, first, to the numerous hearers of 
 his lectures at the College de France, then to the 
 public through the journals or through his pamph- 
 lets which were always read with avidity; and finally 
 on this same darling subject he published two books, 
 destined to remain as monuments of his wonderful 
 knowledge of and devotedness to this country, viz., 
 L' Histoire Politique des Etats Unis — ^a standard 
 work of the literature of this ag^ — ^and Paris en 
 Amerique, the best, perhaps, of modern satires. 
 Thus, while he remained always devoutedly attached 
 to France, as a revered and cherished mother, he 
 seemed to have adopted and loved Young America 
 
asoston iSS 
 
 as a charming spouse. None has contributed more 
 to make her known and appreciated in the old 
 world, none has suffered more with her in the days 
 of trials, none has rejoiced more in her final triumph, 
 more cheerfully and confidently proposed her 
 example to the lovers and even to the enemies of 
 liberty in his own country. 
 
CHAPTER XIII. 
 
 SAN FRANCISCO AND CHICAGO. 
 
 WHEN I returned to America, the Civil War 
 was at its height. The whole attention of 
 the country, North and South, was concentrated 
 on the momentous struggle. Every other interest 
 fell into abeyance before the grave and critical 
 problem which the nation had been called upon to 
 solve. Naturally at such a time the thoughts of 
 the people, especially in the East, where the storm 
 centered, were not given to matters intellectual and 
 educational. While casting about with some con- 
 cern for an occupation, an unexpected proposal came 
 to me from my friend, the Rev. T. Starr King, pas- 
 tor of the First'Unitarian Church of San Francisco, 
 and the leading preacher on the Pacific Coast. It 
 was largely due to his influence and eloquence that 
 California was secured to the Union. Mr. King's 
 plan was that I should come to San Francisco and 
 establish a school on the plan of that of Mr. Agassiz, 
 in Cambridge. An invitation to undertake such a 
 work was very congenial to me, and came most 
 opportunely ; I was more than glad to accept it. 
 
San ffranctaco anO Cbicago iS7 
 
 From the moment of our arrival at San Fran- 
 cisco, Mr. King threw himself, with all his enthu- 
 siasm, into the project before us. A fine location 
 was chosen in a most desirable quarter of the city, 
 South Park, and plans were prepared for a large 
 and handsome building. In the meantime the 
 Parish House of the Unitarian Church was placed 
 at our disposal. Here on February i, 1864, our 
 school was opened by Mr. King himself The 
 prospects were bright before us, and not the least 
 inviting was the thought of being in close touch 
 with a man of such an excellent spirit. From time 
 to time we enjoyed most interesting conversations 
 together, always on some religious, scientific or 
 political subject. 
 
 At one of these meetings, I remember, we 
 remained two hours together in the gallery of the 
 new church, communicating our views and senti- 
 ments in an expansion full of charm. When we 
 got up to separate, taking both my hands in his, 
 he said : " It is Wednesday ; let it be understood 
 that for the future every Wednesday, from two till 
 four o'clock, we shall meet for mutual edifica- 
 tion and conversation, like that which we have 
 just enjoyed." Man proposes, God disposes. The 
 following Wednesday Mr. King was lying upon 
 his death-bed, and the Wednesday after that the 
 soul of this man of God was in Heaven. 
 
IS8 a Soul's IMlfltimage 
 
 March 4, 1 864. 
 
 What a date ! What a day ! What a loss ! 
 The best of friends, the most ardent of patriots, 
 the most generous of philanthropists, the good, 
 the noble Starr King is taken from us ! Would we 
 have believed a few days ago, when he brought us 
 a new testimony of his precious interest ; could we 
 have thought it was his last visit, his last going 
 out, the last occasion given us to hear his most 
 sympathetic voice, to look in life upon his serene 
 face. . . . All the city is in consternation. 
 Friends meet and grasp each other's hands with 
 tearful eye, but cannot speak. They say more 
 tears have been shed to-day than during all the 
 city's life. More than a thousand flags float at 
 half-mast on private dweUings, as well as public 
 buildings. O worthy man, how deeply your 
 people love you ! 
 
 March Sth. 
 
 The manifestation of to-day in honor of the 
 noble dead is not less worthy than that of yester- 
 day. The remains are lying in state in the church 
 which has just been completed, and seems now as 
 if built to be his monument. A company of the 
 First regiment of militia and of the Free Masons 
 act as a guard of honor. From noon until ten 
 o'clock at night a long file of people continue to 
 
San jFtancfsco and Cbicago 159 
 
 pass by and to gaze for the last time on the inani- 
 mate features of him who, but a few days before, 
 electrified the multitude. 
 
 The following Sunday, not only the congrega- 
 tion but many strangers assembled in the church 
 at the usual hour. The pastor's gown was laid 
 upon his pulpit. Not a word was said. Not a 
 note was sung ; only from time to time the organ 
 was played softly, while the people sat in mute 
 contemplation giving their thoughts and their 
 hearts to that noble life which had so suddenly 
 been taken from them. The first regular service 
 was held a week later, in memory of this holy 
 man. The high privilege was mine on this 
 occasion to voice the feelings of the people 
 and to express their last tribute to the dead. 
 It will suffice to give here simply the perora- 
 tion : 
 
 " And now, my brethren, what shall I say in 
 conclusion ? What can we do to prove our value 
 of the divine work performed by this great man ; 
 to declare to God and our fellowmen how rever- 
 ently we cherish his memory, how sincerely we 
 wish to abide by his teaching. You, indeed, have 
 been a chosen people before whom such an exem- 
 plar was set, for whose spiritual benefit that holy 
 life was poured out always freely, always in love. 
 Allow me to say to you at this hour that the 
 
i6o B Soul's pilgrimage 
 
 greater your privileges, the greater your obliga- 
 tions. In this spirit and with this conviction let me 
 invite you to accomplish such an act as would 
 have transported his noble heart. Let me ask 
 you here before this vacant pulpit and on the brink 
 of this sanctified grave, and under the influence of 
 his ever living, ever loving spirit, let me ask you to 
 declare from the very depths of your heart : 
 "Yes, O worthy and faithful Pastor of our 
 souls, as a testimony of our undying love and 
 veneration, we here solemnly pledge ourselves 
 to execute your last sacred will, we here 
 solemnly devote ourselves, according to your 
 example and teaching, to the worship of the 
 Father, in spirit and in truth, to the service of 
 humanity, to the salvation of our country, es 
 you have loved and served them even unto 
 death." 
 
 For several weeks after the death of Starr King, 
 I remained stunned, as it were, by this unforeseen 
 and painful blow. My best friend was gone ; there 
 was no one to take his place. It was he who had 
 fathered our hopeful enterprise in the department 
 of education, and now it became apparent that 
 without his support such a work could not be 
 carried on. Single-handed I did not feel compe- 
 tent to further an undertaking on such an elabor- 
 ate scale, nor was I able to bear the financial 
 
San ffrancisco an^ Cbicago i6i 
 
 responsibility of so large an institution. Our 
 school which had been so lately begun was 
 continued, but upon more simple and modest 
 lines. 
 
 In the comparative isolation which ensued 
 after the death of my friend, with no inti- 
 mate and sympathetic soul to commune with on 
 the subjects which lay nearest my heart, I found 
 myself confined to my own reflections and had 
 ample opportunity to think over the many and 
 varied experiences through which I had passed 
 since leaving the Church of Rome. What came 
 home to me in this review of the past was the very 
 little that I had been able to accomplish in the way 
 of practical good. I had been too much given up 
 to my own ideas ; too much interested in religion 
 from rnerely an intellectual point of view. Nor 
 was this altogether unnatural. While a member of 
 the Roman Communion my intellectual desires had 
 been suppressed. In that atmosphere one finds 
 little food for thought upon the great problems of 
 life ; rather the mind is hemmed about and almost 
 smothered by the ponderous dogmatism of this 
 infallible Church. After my release from such a 
 state of intellectual bondage, it was not strange 
 that the mind should have taken exquisite delight 
 in its newly found freedom and have intensified that 
 phase of religion which had formerly been denied 
 
i62 B Soul's pilscimage 
 
 it. In this connection I find among my notes the 
 following reflections : 
 
 In my religious development I have just 
 passed through a phase which all those who seek 
 the truth must face, namely, that in which one 
 says : " It is not to believe, that I wish ; I want to 
 see and to know." I now understand better the 
 necessity of faith ; I understand that religion must 
 commence with an act of faith. No demonstration 
 can prove God ; it is by faith that the soul appre- 
 hends Him ; faith which is afterwards confirmed by 
 observation and reason. Faith is thus the base of 
 religion, as it is the principle of all great things. 
 " He who believes shall be saved." " Blessed are 
 they that have not seen and yet have believed." I 
 am not astonished that the Divine Master Tias so 
 much -insisted upon faith. All his precepts may 
 be resumed in two words : Believe and Love. 
 Besides, faith in God and faith in immortality are 
 correlative ; the second is the consequence of the 
 first. 
 
 While my mind was occupied with these and 
 similar reflections, an incident happened which 
 served to deepen my convictions on this point. I 
 was walking one afternoon with a neighbor, a 
 German savant, highly respected, but without 
 religious faith, and I expressed to him some little 
 
San jFtancteco and Cbfcago 163 
 
 surprise that this should be so, when he frankly 
 made the following reply: "Here," he said, "is 
 something which will likely astonish you even 
 more : I not only do not see any divine authority 
 for religion, but also fail to recognize any in 
 morality. If I am kind and faithful to my wife and 
 children, it is simply because I find it natural to me 
 to be so, and not because I feel it any duty to act in 
 such a way. If I treat my fellowmen fairly, it is 
 because I am pleased to do so, and not because I 
 recognize any obligation to adopt such an attitude 
 toward them." I was quite taken aback by the 
 candor of the man ; nevertheless, on thinking it 
 over, it seemed to me that he was perfectly logical. 
 Without God, there is no such thing as duty ; 
 without religion, the very foundation of morality is 
 obliterated. Righteousness becomes simply a mat- 
 ter of expediency ; truth and justice have no other 
 warrant than that society has found them useful in 
 the propagation of its life and for the preservation 
 of its order. The whole principle of morals is 
 reduced to a utilitarian basis, and the soul's que.st 
 of virtue is no longer a thirst after God, but 
 becomes simply a desire for the easiest and safest 
 mode of life. 
 
 As these convictions deepened, it seemed to me 
 I could no longer hesitate in devoting myself 
 exclusively to work which was essentially religious 
 
1 64 a Soul's ipflgtlmage 
 
 in character. I had been a wanderer, restlessly 
 taking up and putting down this occupation and 
 that, seeking chiefly my personal culture, finding 
 sweet pleasure in connection with men of rare 
 mind and large spirit, eagerly pursuing the truth 
 and giving my thoughts free play along every 
 avenue of speculation. But now it seemed to me 
 that I had a work to do and a mission to ful- 
 fill to my fellowmen, my life should be made 
 productive of good things, should be devoted 
 to a definite object in the field of Christian 
 endeavor. 
 
 What distressed me above all else in the experi- 
 ence through which I had recently passed, were the 
 divisions among men, many of them men of ardent 
 piety and lofty moral character. This spectacle 
 of a divided Christendom, this sad misuse of the 
 Gospel as a disintegrating rather than a uniting 
 force, struck me as so violently out of accord with 
 the fundamental principle of Christ's teaching, 
 that I could not but feel pained by it. It seemed 
 as if the sacred robe of Christ were rent in pieces. 
 Such dissensions and differences among worthy 
 men were not only the reproach but the weakness 
 and inevitable loss of the Christian Church. 
 Union alone could supply the strength needed to 
 win an assured and complete victory. Even Jesus 
 foresaw this when He prayed " that they may be 
 
San ffranctsco anb Cbicago 165 
 
 one, as Thou, Father, art in me, and I in Thee, 
 that they also may be one in us." 
 
 This supreme wish of the Master gradually filled 
 my thoughts until I became convinced that my 
 work in the future should be wholly given to the 
 advancement of religion and especially toward the 
 promotion of Christian union. With this determi- 
 nation in mind, I looked about me for a place to 
 begin. The city of Chicago seemed to offer the 
 most favorable field, both an account of its central 
 position and its cosmopolitan population. Accord- 
 ingly, I decided to make my residence there and 
 there inaugurate my little work. 
 
 On January 23d, 1869, we held our first service 
 in the principal Presbyterian church of Chicago, 
 which had been kindly placed at our disposal by 
 the pastor, Rev. Dr. Patterson. The attendance 
 surpassed my expectations, and it was a pleasure to 
 see not only the laymen but pastors from several 
 churches in the congregation. I find noted in my 
 diary this remark : " Our congregation could not be 
 more mixed. Every Christian denomination of any 
 importance is represented. Their representatives 
 seem to desire to forget the differences which 
 separate them from one another, in order to meet 
 on common ground, that of a pure Gospel. Here 
 there are no more sects. All are Christians. In 
 place of the letter which divides and kills, is the 
 
i66 a Soul's pilgtimafle 
 
 spirit which unites and gives life. My desire is so 
 far accomplished." 
 
 After several Sundays, it became expedient to 
 remove our place of meeting to the Swedenborgian 
 Temple, a handsome structure erected largely 
 through the liberality of a much reputed banker, 
 Mr. Scammon, who had from the start taken a lively 
 interest in our work. Before transplanting the 
 enterprise to this more favorable ground, it was 
 thought desirable to give it a definite and charac- 
 teristic organization. This we did, by choosing a 
 Board of Trustees composed of representatives of 
 each of the principal denominations, the Episcopal, 
 Presbyterian, Swedenborgian, Methodist, Unitarian, 
 Baptist, Universalist, and even a Roman Catholic. 
 At least this was a sign of the predominant feeling 
 among Christians of every sort, of a desire for 
 unity. 
 
 April 24th. 
 
 To-day we held our first service at the Temple 
 so well adapted to our work. The assembly was 
 all that we could wish, both as regards quality and 
 quantity. Feeling that it was desirable to say a 
 word about the object and character of this under- 
 taking, I defined our position somewhat as follows : 
 
 "Our society is at length regularly organized. 
 Its foundation is, as you know, truly Christian. 
 
San ffrancfsco ano Cbtcago i67 
 
 Jesus did not dogmatize, but He declared that the 
 mark by which his disciples should be known 
 would be their love, one for another. This is 
 evangelical doctrine. After the Master's example, 
 we shall not dogmatize, and in matters of doctrine 
 we shall throw each upon his own responsibility. 
 We shall acknowledge not only the right but the 
 duty of free examination. Beliefs blindly accepted 
 and held are not what we desire to cultivate. What 
 we want are deep convictions." 
 
 My work of evangelization prospered beyond 
 our expectation. Notwithstanding, as time wore 
 on and opportunity was given me to study the 
 question of Christian unity from every point of 
 view, I began to entertain some doubts as to the 
 wisdom and true utility of the enterprise. As an 
 indication of the need for unity among Christians, 
 it was certainly a positive sign ; but was it an 
 efficacious means of accomplishing this purpose ? 
 Was it not rather, in essence, an independent 
 enterprise based upon my own private appreciation 
 of the teachings of Jesus ? As such it might 
 promote a more liberal charity of opinion among 
 those who might unite with us. In reality, it was 
 simply one or more added to the numberless 
 independent bodies which the spirit of individ- 
 ualism had already given rise to, only in this 
 instance the purpose of our httle party was to 
 
i68 a Soul'e pilgrimage 
 
 emphasize certain fundamental truths on which 
 men might agree. If the idea were carried out to 
 its logical conclusion, there might be as many 
 different associations as there were different con- 
 ceptions of Christianity and still the Church would 
 be divided. I came to realize more and more 
 that no permanent union of Christians could have 
 its origin in an organization which an individual 
 in any age might undertake to start, or in other 
 words, no man can found a Church, for the Church 
 is already founded upon the apostles and prophets, 
 Jesus Christ Himself being the chief corner 
 stone. So that the question is really not one of 
 union, but of reunion, and the matter of vital 
 moment is, whether there exists in divided Chris- 
 tendom a nucleus about which the various inde- 
 pendent bodies could come together and on the 
 lines of which they might unite. 
 
 It was thus that the question of the Church 
 first presented itself, though it did not appear to 
 me in all its significance until some months later. 
 
 I devoted the discourses of my second winter in 
 Chicago to the various characteristic marks of the 
 Christian. Starting from the principle that to be 
 a Christian was to have the spirit of Jesus Christ, 
 I spoke successively of the spirit of faith, of self- 
 sacrifice, of prayer, "of liberty, of mercy, of the 
 love of God, of brotherly love, etc., when, almost 
 
San jprancfsco anO Cbicago 169 
 
 suddenly, I asked myself the question : Am I in > 
 the right on this important matter ? Assuredly, I 
 said, the essential condition of true Christianity is 
 to be animated with the spirit of the Master. 
 "Who has not the spirit of Christ is none of his." 
 But is this the only condition required ? If, for 
 example, the divine Master instituted a distinct 
 and visible body of his disciples, with the mission 
 to perpetuate his life on the earth, is it not mani- 
 fest, then, that those only would have a full title to 
 the name of Christian who, living inwardly the life 
 of Christ, were outwardly identified as active 
 members of that body ? 
 
 Meditating upon this question, I devoted myself 
 once more to the study of the origins and early 
 history of Christianity. It was evident that Jesus 
 from the beginning of his ministry had in contem- 
 plation a visible and distinct society which should 
 carry on his work and continue to perpetuate Him 
 after his departure. The selection of the twelve 
 and their endowment with special gifts and powers, 
 the institutions of Baptism and the Lord's Supper, 
 clearly indicate a definite organization as an essen- 
 tial pail of his intention. The outpouring of the 
 Spirit at Pentecost and the subsequent develop- 
 ment of the Church, together with the expansion 
 of the ministry, betokened the growth of a spirit- 
 ual organism destined to include, nourish and 
 
17° H Soul's pilgrimage 
 
 sustain the faithful of every time and every age. 
 This, it seemed to me, was the evident design of 
 the Saviour as expressed by those whom He com- 
 missioned to carry on and extend his life-work. 
 
 One thing was distinctly apparent. The Chris- 
 tian Church existed before the Christian Scriptures. 
 Far from the Church being born of the Scriptures, 
 the Scriptures, at least in part, were brought into 
 being by the specific needs of the early Church. 
 Aside from their inspirational value, they serve to 
 correct tendencies unfriendly to the pure truth of 
 the Gospel and to oppose errors which had already 
 crept or might in the future creep in from the con- 
 tact of Christianity with pagan beliefs and supersti- 
 tions. Manifestly, the Apostolic Church was scrip- 
 tural in character, but this ought not to imply that 
 these sacred writings were the source of its life. In 
 view of the trend of biblical criticism, this point 
 appeared of some importance, for even though the 
 documentary evidence of Christianity might be dis- 
 puted in part, the living witness would still remain. 
 
 There were two signs, it seemed to me, by which 
 one might identify a Church qualified to act as a 
 nucleus for the reunion of Christendom, namely, 
 apostolicity and catholicity. The simplicity and 
 fullness of the apostolic teaching and practice, the 
 maintenance of apostolic doctrine in just and 
 rational proportion, without emphasizing one truth 
 
San 3Ftanci0co and Cbicaoo 171 
 
 to the detriment of others, the presentation of the 
 person and work of Christ in positive form, seemed 
 to me essential to any body claiming the title of 
 apostolic. As regards catholicity, the fundamental 
 principles I took to be historic continuity, inclu- 
 siveness, and adaptibility. In the first aspect, that 
 of catholicity of time, the unity of the Church in 
 the past, present, and future is established. In the 
 second aspect, that of catholicity of spirit, liberty 
 of interpretation is allowed for, and thus progres- 
 siveness is made possible. In the third aspect, that 
 of catholicity of method, differences of language, 
 custom and condition are recognized and a wide 
 diversity of instrumentalities provided for. 
 
 While following out this line of study and 
 thought, an incident happened which gave my 
 ideas a more definite form. One of the sons of the 
 Bishop of Illinois frequently attended our services. 
 The views I expressed interested and pleased him. 
 He spoke of them to his father, the learned Dr. 
 Whitehouse, who immediately expressed a desire 
 to see and talk with me. Our first interview was 
 of two hours, and was marked throughout by the 
 utmost candor on the part of each of us. 
 
 I found the bishop more liberal than I had been 
 led to expect. What I said to him relative to 
 the Church and the urgent need of endeavoring 
 to promote a visible and organic union of all 
 
172 a Soul's pilgrimage 
 
 Christians and also the reasons why the Episcopal 
 Church appeared to me suited as a base and 
 model for such reorganization seemed to please 
 him very much. "Truly," the bishop said to me 
 as I left him, " I cannot see what prevents you 
 from taking steps toward becoming one of us, for 
 I know few of our clergy who hold such broad 
 and healthy views upon this important question." 
 Four or five other interviews with the bishop, in 
 which I explained to him my position and way of 
 viewing things, dissipated any doubts which I had 
 as to the propriety of identifying myself with the 
 ministry of the Episcopal Church. 
 
 Some days later, at a meeting of the Board of 
 Missions, held in New York, and in the presence 
 of several of the bishops. Dr. Whitehouse spoke 
 of his experience with me, and the Bishop of 
 Pennsylvania, the Rt. Rev. Dr. Stevens, expressed 
 the desire of having me in his diocese. Accord- 
 ingly, on the 23d of June, 1871, in the Church of 
 the Saviour, West Philadelphia, on the presenta- 
 tion of Bishop Whitehouse, and in the presence 
 of the presiding bishop, Dr. Lee, of Delaware, 
 and a number of the clergy, I was received as a 
 presbyter of the Episcopal Church by Bishop 
 Stevens. On the following Sunday I preached 
 my first sermon in the Cathedral of Chicago, the 
 
San 3Fianct0Co an6 Cbfcago 173 
 
 city where my religious aspirations had at last 
 found their best and fullest expression. 
 
 Having reached what promises to be the end of 
 my religious journey, it seems fit to look back and 
 recall its principal stations. 
 
 The most important steps of my spiritual career 
 are five in number, viz. : 
 
 1. Giving up the world for the church. 
 
 2. Making my novitiate at the Jesuits. 
 
 3. Renouncing Romanism. 
 
 4. Seeking after truth. 
 
 5. Joining the Episcopal Church. 
 
 I gave up the Hfe of the world under this 
 impression : " What shall it profit a man, if he shall 
 gain the whole world and lose his own soul ? " 
 
 I made my novitiate at the Jesuits to obey this 
 behest : " Covet earnestly the best gifts." 
 
 I threw off the yoke of Rome to answer this 
 appeal : " He has called us to the freedom of the 
 children of God." 
 
 I sought for truth under the divine promise : 
 " Ye shall know the truth and the truth shall 
 make you free." 
 
 I became an Episcopalian in order that my 
 religious work should be "built upon the founda- 
 tion of apostles and prophets." 
 
174 a Soul's pilgrimage 
 
 I want to save my soul — seminary. 
 
 Salvation is not enough, I must aim at perfec- 
 tion — novitiate. 
 
 A man to become perfect must first be free — 
 emancipation. 
 
 He must love truth above all things and seek it 
 by every means — earnest inquiry. 
 
 He must teach as having authority — Episcopal 
 Church. 
 
 And this is what I propose doing in the well- 
 named city of Philadelphia, likely my last religious 
 station before giving up my account. Hcbc 
 requies mea ; hie habitabo quoniam elegi earn ! 
 Please God, I shall endeavor to work according to 
 the religious requirements of our time and in the 
 broad spirit of the Episcopal Church. 
 
CHAPTER XIV. 
 
 RELIGIOUS REQUIREMENTS OF OUR TIME. 
 
 WE have reached one of the most solemn 
 epochs of history ; one of those epochs by 
 which the face of the world is renewed. We are 
 witnessing the birth of a new age. Stupendous 
 forces are at work in all the branches of human 
 activity. Everything changes, or is about to 
 change, in the religious as well as in the social 
 order. 
 
 The present time is full of analogy with that 
 in which the Saviour appeared. What did He 
 announce ? The fall of the temple — the material 
 sign that the Mosaic institution was to give place 
 to one more universal and more perfect. Judaism, 
 in its relation with the general destinies of human- 
 ity, had accomplished its mission, and a doctrine 
 broader and more in harmony with the new wants 
 of mankind was to succeed. A similar change is 
 being enacted to-day in religious systems and 
 social institutions. There is, as it were, a new 
 infusion of the divine spirit in the religious world ; 
 the living God seems intent upon raising on the 
 
176 H Sours ipilgrlmage 
 
 ruins of the old a new temple, destined to become 
 the universal shrine and sanctuary of the human 
 family. The spirit of Judaism has been slow to 
 die ; the spirit of Christ has not yet fully come ; 
 exclusivenss and intolerance must needs pass 
 away before inclusiveness and charity can be 
 truly realized. The relics of paganism, seen 
 even among Christian people, must be obliter- 
 ated. Idolatry, superstition, egotism have yet to 
 perish. 
 
 * * 
 Many are are the indications of this momentous 
 and most blessed change. In the scientific world, a 
 reverent regard for truth ; in the social . world, a 
 deep desire for fraternity ; in the religious world, a 
 widespread desire for unity. In every department 
 of life all earnest and thoughtful minds find them- 
 selves unconsciously tending in the same direction, 
 passing out of the regions of strife and discord to 
 the realms of peace and good will. The spirit of 
 sect no longer enthralls them ; divisions are not a 
 part of the divine intention ; life is one, for God is 
 one. The separation of religion from science, the 
 separation of class from class, the separation of 
 church from church, which was the product of 
 human infirmity, are giving place to a new faith in 
 Christ as the unifier of all phases of life and 
 thought. 
 
IReligious TRequirements of ®ur tlime 177 
 
 In the religious world a most encouraging sign 
 of the times appears in this : Among all those 
 who concern themselves with the deeper interest of 
 Christianity and seek the best interests of human- 
 ity, the same idea is reproducing itself incessantly 
 under many varying forms, namely, less of theol- 
 ogy, more of religion ; less of rites and practices, 
 more of good works ; less of dogmas, more of 
 morals ; less of the priest, more of the apostle ; 
 less of creeds, more of the decalogue ; less of the 
 churches, more of Christ. Religion henceforth 
 will be recognized as divine inasmuch as it shows 
 itself human. The best Christians will not be the 
 most obstinate of the orthodox but the most 
 benevolent of the faithful. In the teachings and 
 spirit of Christ, rehgion and morality are one and 
 inseparable; or rather, religion is the sanctification 
 of morality and morahty is religion in action. 
 
 * 
 * * 
 
 " Read," says Dean Stanley, " the description 
 in the beatitudes of those who are truly happy ; 
 read the two great commandments in which our 
 Founder said all his religion consisted ; read the 
 thirteenth chapter of the First Epistle to the 
 Corinthians, in which St. Paul declares that com- 
 pared with charity or philanthropy, the percep- 
 tions of theoretical truth, all manifestations of 
 theoretical zeal are as nothing ; we thus see how 
 
178 a Soul'g pilgrimage 
 
 in each of these original conceptions of Christ- 
 ianity the moral elements of rehgion outweigh all 
 others." 
 
 "Christ," says Robertson, "proclaims the 
 identity between religion and goodness. Religion 
 for Him did not consist in correct views, accurate 
 observances, not even in devout feelings. Accord- 
 ing to Him, to be religious was to be good, and 
 because of this the Pharisees became his enemies 
 — those men of opinions and maxims, of ecclesi- 
 astical, ritual and spiritual pretension." 
 
 * 
 
 The Kingdom of God consists neither in eating 
 nor drinking, neither in sermons nor sabbaths, 
 neither in history nor exegesis, neither in the 
 inspiration of a book nor the infallibility of a man. 
 It is virtue, justice, love, peace and joy in the 
 Holy Ghost. What are the works of religion ? 
 To attend the services, to hear the sermon, to read 
 the Bible, to receive the sacraments? All these 
 are means to awaken and revive religious feeling 
 in the soul, but the works of religion are some- 
 thing else. Practical religion consists of all our 
 duties, private, domestic, civic, professional, per- 
 formed faithfully and in accordance with the will 
 of God. The domain of religion extends to all 
 that concerns man, the body as well as the soul. 
 There are not sacred things and profane things. 
 
IRcUgious IRequirements of ®ur C^fme 179 
 
 Everything must be held as sacred. It is the 
 province of religion to consecrate all things. 
 " Whether you eat or drink, or whatsoever you 
 do, do all to the glory of God." 
 
 * * 
 Meanwhile, religion does not limit its action to 
 
 the moral improvement of the individual. It looks 
 around for any great cause to be defended, for any 
 slavery of the soul as well as the body to be 
 abolished, for hypocrisy to be unmasked, for vices 
 to be routed, for misfortune to be soothed, for 
 evil passions to be subdued, for ignorance and 
 prejudice to be dispelled, for every needed reform 
 to be perfected, etc., and hence its social charac- 
 teristic. 
 
 The social question to-day stands in importance 
 before all others, before the political and, in a way, 
 even before the religious. It is impossible not to 
 take a serious interest in it. It is our inmost con- 
 viction that religion alone can solve it. Not such 
 
 or such religion, but the spirit of Jesus Christ. 
 
 * 
 
 Christianity thus far has passed through three 
 successive phases. Its first age was one of simple 
 evangelical teaching. Then followed an age of 
 dogmatism, when theological definition was of 
 prime importance. This in turn was succeeded 
 by ecclesiasticism, when the Church dominated 
 
i8o a Soul's ipilgrimage 
 
 thought and life. It was not until the Reformation 
 that the individual was emancipated, and secured 
 his spiritual rights. To-day still another trans- 
 formation is taking place. Religion is passing from 
 the individual to the social sphere. Its chief func- 
 tion is taken to be the practical expression of 
 Christian principles in the relation of man to man. 
 Its object henceforth is not less the regeneration of 
 society than the salvation of the individual. To 
 that end the Church has a double work to per- 
 form, a personal work and a collective work. In 
 order to save the mass, she must begin with saving 
 the individual, and the individual must be sought 
 where he is, i. e., at his home. The Church usually 
 says : " Come and I will teach yoti ;" the Master 
 has said : " Go and teach !" In such a vast under- 
 taking every Christian has his own task, and should 
 say : " Here am I, Lord, send me." Instead of 
 that it is usually said : " Here is my check ; send 
 some one in my place." Money cannot replace 
 men ; each must pay with his own personality. 
 
 Moreover, in order to accomplish the mission 
 entrusted to her, the Church cannot be too strongly 
 organized. Every great enterprise in our day is 
 promoted through organization. Even crime is 
 organized, and in politics and elsewhere the greed 
 of rapacious men makes headway only through 
 
IReligious 1Rec|uttement0 of ®ut ^ime i8i 
 
 the ingenuity of complex organization. The need 
 is imperative for the various Christian bodies of 
 this great republic, being united in one powerful 
 organization with one pre-eminent object, the 
 regeneration of our national and social life. In 
 these days, when the world seeks a new ideal and 
 hungers for a larger life, the duty rests upon the 
 Church to supply it with both. " If the Christian 
 Church were all that it should be a single day, 
 before night the face of the world would be 
 renewed." The skepticism dangerous for Chris- 
 tians is not that concerning the authenticity and 
 authority of the Scriptures, but that concerning 
 the vitality of the Church itself. Has she the 
 power to save society from the evils which enslave 
 it and the dangers which threaten it ? Is the com- 
 mon life her chief concern ? These are the ques- 
 tions men are asking with no little dread lest a 
 divided Church in which party interest still seems 
 paramount to public concern should give back a 
 negative response. 
 
CHAPTER XV. 
 
 THE EPISCOPAL CHURCH. 
 
 MY task in these concluding lines is to outline a 
 few of the characteristics which belong to 
 the Protestant Episcopal Church and in virtue of 
 which she seems destined to occupy a central 
 position in the cause of Christian unity and to fill 
 the social, moral and religious wants of the future. 
 I . She is catholic. 
 
 A fact of first importance in the life of the Epis- 
 copal Church is her historic and organic continuity. 
 She has never cut off communication with the 
 past. Without making herself a slave to tradition, 
 she has been able to recognize the workings of the 
 divine spirit in the faithful of every age. Her 
 creeds are not of her own manufacture. They are 
 the consentient voice of Christendom from the 
 apostolic age until now. Her liturgy is a treasury 
 of reverent thought and utterance from devout 
 men of every time. Pulsing with the spiritual 
 life of the past, she gives herself freely to the 
 present and looks forward with confidence to the 
 future. 
 
Zbe Bpiscopal Cbutcb 183 
 
 In distinction from Protestant bodies, especial 
 stress is laid upon this fact : the Church is an 
 organism — a living body of which Christ is the 
 head. Its life is perpetuated according to plain 
 biological principles. The organism does not die 
 and come to life again. It lives continuously, 
 binding the past, present and future in one. By a 
 process of incorporation it brings the souls of men 
 in contact with the divinely derived life. Its sac- 
 raments are not symbols merely but vehicles of that 
 life. This view of the corporate life does not 
 invalidate the reality of the individual Itfe. Rome 
 emphasizes the principle of incorporation almost 
 exclusively. The soul is saved by virtue of its 
 contact with the Church. Protestantism goes to 
 the other extreme. The souls of men are saved 
 individually — by virtue of a personal religious 
 experience. The Episcopal Church believes that 
 the truth lies in both views, reasonably considered. 
 A soul is born into the world. The conditions of 
 its life are twofold : individual and social. It 
 has a life of its own and it has a life derived from 
 contact with society about it. Both contribute to 
 make its life. In her catholic position the Church 
 insists upon the fact of the individual life but she 
 insists equally upon the reality of the corporate 
 life. The principle of solidarity is an essential part 
 of her position. 
 
i84 a Soul's pilgrimage 
 
 2. Protestant. 
 
 While the Episcopal Church is pre-eminently 
 catholic, she is also emphatically Protestant. In 
 fact, she is the only church which protested from 
 the first, and continued to protest as a church. 
 Outside of her, the Reformation was a protestant 
 movement on the part of individuals who protested 
 in their own private name and then founded or 
 joined associations already founded of those like- 
 minded with themselves. The cause they espoused 
 was a most sacred one and the principle at stake 
 most vital. They contended for the spiritueil 
 rights of the individual and the principle of private 
 judgment. In so positive a reactionary movement 
 it is not surprising that so many were betrayed 
 into extremes which repudiated not Romanism 
 merely, but Catholicism itself. The Church of 
 England, while denying emphatically the suprem- 
 acy of Rome, retained her equilibrium and avoided 
 the dangers of ultra-protestantism. As far as the 
 innovations of Romanism are concerned, she is 
 persistently Protestant ; as far as the principles of 
 Catholicism are concerned she is eminently con- 
 servative. 
 
 3. Progressive. 
 
 She has proved her right to this title when in 
 the sixteenth century she freed herself from the 
 yoke of Rome, determined henceforth to act upon 
 
Zbe Spiscopal Oburcb iSj 
 
 her own responsibility, as circumstances might 
 require. She has proved it, when, unmindful of 
 the thirty-nine articles of her dogmatic epoch, 
 thristing after that union which Christianity suffers 
 for so greatly in our time, she solemnly and 
 bravely called to herself brothers of any name, 
 reducing to four the conditions of her communion 
 with other Christian bodies. And at this day, she 
 stands ready to welcome within her fold all 
 Protestant denominations, without any demand for 
 the surrender of individual opinion. Progressive 
 as the human mind, while Rome reproves progress 
 and in her dread of it draws herself backward to 
 the deadness of the middle ages, and hopes to 
 carry mankind back with her, our Episcopal 
 Church welcomes progress, blesses it, and advances 
 full of confidence toward the coming generations, 
 for she feels that they belong to her. 
 4. Ethical. 
 
 The Episcopal Church is becoming more and 
 more the working church. A parish building is now 
 a necessary adjunct to the church building proper. 
 And in these parish buildings benevolent work of 
 every description and for all sorts of men and 
 women, is constantly going on. 
 
 Sir Walter Besant wrote this lately of the Church 
 of England : " The Church of England is now 
 doing an immense amount of good. One cannot 
 
1 86 a Soul's HSilgrimage 
 
 overrate its services. I was asked some time ago 
 to write an article for the Cosmopolitan Magazine, 
 describing the working of a London parish, and I 
 investigated the matter fully, taking as my field of 
 study a riverside parish in the East End. I found 
 there one hundred laymen and women, volunteers, 
 working for nothing, under the guidance of the 
 clergyman and his curates ; visiting the poor, form- 
 ing clubs for the boys and girls, for young men 
 and women, having mothers' meetings, children's 
 creches, classes of all kinds, lectures, libraries, 
 reading-rooms, gymnasiums, and so on." 
 
 The following extract from a letter lately written 
 from London testifies to the same effect : " The 
 churches do more than they have ever done. We 
 believe we are justified in saying that there is 
 scarcely a slum anywhere, certainly not in London, 
 where there is not a trained and eager band, lay 
 and clerical, knowing everybody and everything, 
 and fighting their best for the h^lp of the 
 wretched." 
 
 It is a stated fact that the Episcopal Church in 
 New York does more of charity work than all the 
 other churches of the metropolis put together, and 
 this is what explains her marvelous growth in our 
 great cities. There is not one of the larger 
 churches of the metropolis which has not at least 
 one mission with earnest workers in some of the 
 
^be ^Episcopal Cbutcb 187 
 
 poorest quarters. Eighteen New York churches 
 keep open houses during summer in the county or 
 at the sea shore for the benefit of poor parish- 
 ioners and other residents of their respective 
 neighborhoods. 
 5. Social. 
 
 The late Archbishop of Canterbury, Dr. Benson, 
 being asked : " What have social difficulties to do 
 with the Church's work ? Are they not secular 
 and economic questions?" replied, "Yes, and 
 therefore they are questions of the deepest 
 moment ; they are the phenomena of the very 
 world in which Christ is working. Let the clergy 
 understand it so and preach and act accordingly, 
 and they will find their power rise above their 
 parish and other parishes. They will then be able 
 to influence public action. * * * These ques- 
 tions ef poverty and labor, amelioration of condi- 
 tions, larger participation in the rapidly increased 
 wealth of commerce, have grown so important 
 that it is necessary the clergy should know and 
 think, and be able to advise those who would 
 gladly consult them if they thought they could do 
 so with advantage." 
 
 One who understood the importance of questions 
 of industrial righteousness, is the Bishop of Durham, 
 whose services in the great coal strike of ninety- 
 three will long be remembered ; and so, too, 
 
'88 a Soul'B pUfltlmagc 
 
 among others, the Bishop of New York, whose 
 sympathy for every right aspiration of labor has 
 so frequently been expressed and whose time and 
 ability have been on various occasions so happily 
 given to the adjustment of industrial difficulties, 
 6. Liberal. 
 
 This is, perhaps, the most distinguishing charac- 
 teristic of the Anglo-American Church, that under 
 her constitution men of almost every shade of 
 opinion may live in a spirit of loyalty to her. 
 Many efforts have been made to narrow her 
 domain, to exclude those who did not agree with 
 certain dogmatic theories. They have all failed. 
 The fundamental principles of the Church are 
 so much in favor of freedom and toleration 
 as to embrace all these elements in her own 
 liberal faith. Its breadth is such as to permit 
 and include many forms of belief and practice. 
 " Some of her bishops and people and editors 
 may be low and some high," says Dr. Ewer, 
 " but she is not sectarian low or sectarian high — 
 she is broad and catholic. Through her Lows 
 she shows, in spite of her Highs, sympathy with 
 the members of the various sects. Through her 
 Highs she shows, in spite of the Lows, sympathy 
 with the organic ancient Church. Through her 
 Broads she shows sympathy with the life and 
 advance of modern thought and civilization." 
 
tube Bpiscopal Cburcb 189 
 
 While, therefore, I beheve in the Catholic 
 Church, not in the Roman Catholic (which is the 
 least catholic, because it is Roman), but in that 
 Church, invisible to-day to the natural eye, which 
 includes all sincere believers in Jesus Christ, no 
 matter where they are, or what name they 
 bear, and known by God only, I hope in 
 the Episcopal Church, destined, as it seems, to 
 represent some day visible Catholicity, going 
 back in its history to the first Christian ages, 
 without pretentions to infallibility or immutability, 
 admitting and knowing how to apply in case of 
 need the principles of reformation and progress, 
 ready to conform its teachings to scientific truths 
 become incontestable, and to adapt its organiza- 
 tion and its worship to the exigencies of time and 
 place, recommending itself to-day more than any 
 other church by the number and variety of its 
 benevolent works. 
 
 By the fruit we know the tree. 
 
 I represent it to my mind as an immense cathe- 
 dral with its grand nave and its side aisles. At 
 the right it assembles those of its members who 
 call themselves Catholic, having a side entrance in 
 the direction of Rome. On the left side are found 
 the so-called orthodox, ready to gather in by the 
 transept door the Protestants, their brothers in 
 orthodoxy. The vast central nave holds its doors 
 
19° a Soul'g pilgtimage 
 
 wide open, inviting all the believers in Christ, all 
 the worshippers in spirit and in truth, to enter 
 there ; and they shall assemble from every point 
 of the horizon, followed by the descendants of 
 Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. All shall then adore 
 their common Father in a spirit of true fraternity. 
 Thus the prayer of generations is heard at last, the 
 reign of God has come, the supreme wish of the 
 Master is realized. 
 
 They are one in God and in his Church and 
 there is but one fold under the guardianship of 
 one Shepherd, Jesus Christ. 
 
arV16905 
 
 A soul's pilgrimaae: 
 
 Cornell University Library 
 
 „ 3 1924 031 450 699 
 
 olin,anx