CORNELL 
 
 UNIVERSITY 
 
 LIBRARY 
 
 GIFT OF 
 Roger M, Woolley 
 
Cornell University Library 
 CiV 1645.B64 
 
 Fifty years In the magic circle; being an 
 
 3 1924 006 388 825 
 
« Cornell University 
 M Library 
 
 The original of tliis book is in 
 tine Cornell University Library. 
 
 There are no known copyright restrictions in 
 the United States on the use of the text. 
 
 http://www.archive.org/details/cu31924006388825 
 
/T /-^ 
 
 /'^ 
 
 r 
 
 y- 
 
FIFTY YEARS 
 
 J^A9)P fW^Phf'' 
 
 AS ACCOTJlfT OF THE AUTHOR'S PEOPESSIONAl LIFE; HIS WONBEEFUL 
 
 TRICKS AND FEATS; WITH LAUGHABLE INCIDENTS, AND 
 
 ADVENTURES AS A MAGICIAJSf, NECROMANCER, 
 
 AND VENTRILOQUIST. 
 
 Sia-IsTOI^ -JBXjXTZ. 
 
 PUBIISHED BY SUBSCRIPTION ONLY. 
 
 niistrated with Nnmerons Engravings, and Portrait of tbe Ai^^oV on Steel. 
 
 HARTFORD, C0NN.:1. • 
 BELKNAP & BLISS. 
 
 W. E. BLISS, TOLEDO, OHIO. DUFFIELD LsHMEAD, PHILADEL- 
 PHIA, PENN. NETTLETON & CO., CINCINNATI, OHIO. 
 GEORGE M. SMITH & CO., BOSTON^ MASS. 
 A. L. BANCROFT & CO., SAN FRANCISCO, CAL, 
 
 1871. 
 
' Entebbd, according to Act of CongreBS, in the rear 1871, by 
 
 BELKNAP & BLISS, 
 
 In the Office of the Librarian of Congress, at Washington. 
 
 M. H. MALL^AV III CQ., 
 
 lmI^'TSBS JkHD BLKCTBOTrPKBS, 
 
 HABTFOKD, CONN. 
 
TO 
 
 IN GBATEFUL BEMEMBRANCE OP TBEIS . 
 FRIENDSHIP A.N"D KINDKTKSS. 
 
 TMIB VOIjUMB 
 
 IS 
 
PEEFAOE. 
 
 In presenting my Autobiography, I am fully aware of 
 the grave responsibility I assume, and equally so of the 
 presumption of a person describing, in a measure, his own 
 character; — ^yet it is essentially better to relate one's adven- 
 tures himself, than to entrust them to the dictation of 
 others. The reminiscences of my life may not be entitled 
 to any special merit, beyond the amusement they may 
 afford for the moment; yet, to pass away as others have 
 done whose record would have been useful and interesting, 
 we should be derelict in duty to ourselves and the public. 
 Not that my life presents any particular traits above a 
 busy career; yet, if of no special benefit to mankind, it will 
 not be detrimental to the morals and impulses of those who 
 may be pleased to peruse it. 
 
 It is an axiom that positions and fortunes are frequently 
 the result of outward circumstances and incidents, and if 
 the experience of every man was written, what a variety of 
 books we should have for society ! 
 
 My whole object has been to present facts, — to draw 
 from truth, not fiction, — to present events as they occurred, 
 rather than appeared, — ^to demonstrate the variety and pe- 
 culiar .phases of mankind; not only to smile at the follies 
 
PREFACE. 
 
 and foibles that surroimd us, but to sympathize with the 
 aggravations and misfortunes of poor humanity, — ^to create 
 a laugh rather than a tear. Life is like a vast ocean : to 
 many, it is calm and placid, with picturesque harbors; to 
 others, a boisterous voyage, of great perils, and ofttimes 
 shipwreck. My own pilgrimage has been a felicitous one, 
 for I have always yielded to those convictions on which 
 our individual prosperity is based; yet, favored or afflicted, 
 who can or should but feel happy? 
 
 The bright sun shines aKke for the good and Tvicked. 
 The gates of heaven are open to all who seek an entrance 
 therein, or entertain hopes of the future. 
 
 Time brings forth something new daUy; indeed, we 
 have become so dependent upon novelty, that unless our 
 anticipations are satisfied in this direction, we are all dis- 
 contented and unhappy. This feeling has inculcated itself 
 so tenaciously in our ordinary habits, that I almost doubt 
 the propriety of appearing as an author, fearing the same 
 sensitiveness may operate in regard to what I present to 
 my readers. 
 
 "We have not all the faculty of being great, or endurable, 
 out of our just sphere; yet something, however little, 
 may be contributed to gratify the most morose or fastid- 
 ious, to cheer the distressed and desponding, to invoke 
 charity and kindness, and infuse rational gayety around our 
 homes, places of business, and general duties ; in short, to 
 induce us to feel and act better ; above all, to know our- 
 selves, and fulfil the mission we have to complete; for, 
 indeed, there are a thousand duties to perform, which, how- 
 ever trifling they may appear, are not less momentous 
 
PREFACE. vii 
 
 when combined, for they reveal their own truth, and create 
 a moral brilliancy in the atmosphere of our daily associa- 
 tions, and repudiate the inconsistencies that mingle in the 
 general fomiation of our habits. 
 
 During my fifty years before the public, it may be pre- 
 sumed that my experience and association with distinguished 
 persons in the Old and New "Worlds have been almost un- 
 limited. 
 
 Their pleasantries and anecdotes, with brief sketches of 
 their eccentricities, I have given, to the best of my recol- 
 lection. During this long period I have never made a mem- 
 orandum, therefore have written entirely from memory; 
 consequently, there may be some slight inaccuracies in 
 regard to dates and circumstances ; if so, they will ih no 
 way invalidate the facts. 
 
 Before concluding these remarks, it will be a pleasure 
 to express my gratefol thanks to all my American friends, 
 to assure them of my warm regard for their uniform kind- 
 ness and indulgence to me in my professional capacity, and 
 an appreciation of their esteem and attention in private life. 
 I can only regret my inability to return a proportionate 
 compensation, one at least adequate to what they are entitled 
 to receive ; T)ut, however deficient I may be in this respect, 
 I can congratulate them upon the growth of their beauti- 
 ftil country — ^the increase of the population from 14,000,000, 
 at the time of my arrival in America, to the present estimate 
 of 4:0,000,000, which is not only marvellous and unsurpassed 
 in the history of nations, but enables us to anticipate the 
 great destiny that awaits her future. 
 
 New States and Territories have been admitted into the 
 
VIU PREFACE. 
 
 Union in rapid succession; their huge forests have disap- 
 peared, and countless towns and cities occupy their space. 
 The whole surface of the land presents an industrious and 
 progressive race. In every department of life a vitality 
 prevails that proves the advantages which republican insti- 
 tutions bestow upon labor and capital, — ^the independence 
 it provides for thought and action, and the opportunities 
 for all classes to become wealthy, happy, and' contented. 
 
^» Mm^f^ §titg. 
 
 Deab Blitz! thou art the prince of fun. 
 
 The very soul of wit and mirth. 
 And aged sire and youthful son 
 
 Admit thy art and own thy worth. 
 The mother and the child alike. 
 
 Are moved to merriment by thee ; 
 And thus thou art a blessing sent 
 
 To gladden dull humanity 1 
 
 How many a pleasant hour has passed. 
 
 Beneath the magic of thy wand I 
 How many a snow-white egg has grown. 
 
 Before thy wondrous sleight of hand 1 
 Thy pleasant smile — ^thy rapid speech — 
 
 The tricks that made e'en cynics gay — 
 Thy never-failing fund of wit — 
 
 Oh! can they ever pass away I 
 
 Time has but gently touched thee yet. 
 
 And though thy locks are getting gray. 
 The eye is full of living light — 
 
 The face is open as the day. 
 God bless thee, Blitz ! and when at last. 
 
 The sands of life are nearly done. 
 May angels watch around thy couch. 
 
 To bear thee to th' Etbbnal One I 
 
 Truly Your Friend, 
 
 ROBEKT MOEBIS. 
 
1. Portrait ov the Atfthor on Steel Frontispiece. 
 
 2. MaOICAI. COUBmATIONS — 
 
 3. The Vbtbran Teacher 24 
 
 4. A SfBIQ OF NOBELITT 53 
 
 -5. Stop Thief! Stop Thief! 87 
 
 6. Duchess of St. Aubans 107 
 
 7. The Kind-heabtbd Sailor 141 
 
 8. EMiGRATina West; or. Westward, HoI 166 
 
 9. George Guest, the Half-breed 193 
 
 10. Determined to Float 214 
 
 11. The Family Bedroom 251 
 
 13. Printino-house Square 274 
 
 13. MaOIOIAN IN A BAI.L-R00M .- 296 
 
 14. Storm at Sea 315 
 
 15. The Nonplussed Merchant. 340 
 
 16. Havana 376 
 
 17. Indbpendencb Square 421 
 
 also nxniebous small enobavinos. 
 
CHAPTER L 
 
 trP EABLT LIFE. 
 
 Phi]oeoph}r of LaugUng — Birth and Paientage — The "Black 
 Eagle" — Juvenile Tricks — School-days — The Old Veteran 
 Teacher, 
 
 24 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 AFPEABAirCB IN PUBLIC. 
 
 Thirteen Tears of Age — ^Parting from my Mother — ^Pirst Appear- 
 ance on the Stage — Hamburg and Lubec — The Conceited Doc- 
 tor — ^Dr. Von Kelperstein's Love-letters — Return Home — First 
 Great Affliction, . . _ . - 29 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 INCIDENTS IN ENGLAND. 
 
 Appearance in England — Clerical Opposition — The Watch Trick 
 — Indictment and Trial before the Council — Trying an Ex- 
 periment — The Frightened Judges-jThe Black Art — Bewitch- 
 ing the Parish — ^Visit to London — ^A Nervous Landlady, - 39 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 ADVENTUKE 'WITH GAMBLERS. 
 
 Tricks of a Gamester— A Gambling Saloon— The Ruined Young 
 Man— His Sad Stoiy— The Biter Bit— Lost, but Saved— The 
 Magician's Trick, ..----• 
 
 44 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 THE iNQTHBrnvii ladies. 
 
 The Fortune-teller— The Broken-hearted Maiden— Her Sad Story 
 — EflFecta of Fortune-telling- The Mysterious Paper- The 
 Lovers made Happy— Jack Ketch, the Hangman— The Hat 
 and Whiskers — ^A good Joke, - ^'■ 
 
 CHAPTER VI.- 
 
 IRELAIID. 
 
 Entertainments in Duhlin— An Aristocratic Cabbage — ^Ventrilo- 
 quism Illustrated- The Frightened Doctor-— Doctor Crampton 
 and the Students, - . - - 66 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 IRISH CHAKACTEIl. 
 
 Daniel O'Connell— Irish Wit— The Marchioness of Donegal— The 
 Talking Codfish— The Dishonest Servant— The Repentant 
 Chambermaid — The Frightened Tax-collector — Martial Law 
 in Kilkenny, - ... 66 
 
 CHAPTER Vni. 
 
 THE WITCHES UNDER THE BRIDGE. 
 
 The Sergeant and the Soldiers---The Female Bathers — Attempt- 
 ing an Arrest the Sergeant gets a Ducking — Game of Hide- 
 and-Seek — Ominous Signs — Effect of Superstition, - 73 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 VISIT TO SCOTLAND. 
 
 Coronation of King William — Glasgow — Spirit of the Mill — ^Pa- 
 ganini, the Violinist — ^Babe in the Violin Case — ^My Marriage 
 — ^Personal Adventure — Palling in Love, and its Consequences, 80 
 
CONTENTS. xiii 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 INCIDENTS IN BDINBHRG. 
 
 The Bottled Janitor — The Bewitched Horse— My Silver Snuff-box 
 — ^A Clergyman in Trouble-r-Stniggles of a Poor Man — Poll 
 Parrot Pays the Rent — ^An Aerial Voyage — The Freaks of 
 Fortune — What Happened at a Dinner-party — ^Personal Jokes, 99 
 
 CHAPTER XI. 
 
 VERY PECULIAR PEOPLE. 
 
 The Two Pictures — Individual Oddities — Amateur Magicians — A 
 Wig Regiment — An Original Feat — ^Before the Nobility — Pic- 
 ture of a Rich Man — ^Duchess of St. Albans — A BriUiant As- 
 sembly, - ■ - - - - - - - 108 
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 
 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC. 
 
 Farewell ;Swr««a at Liverpool — Packet-ship "Columbus" — ^A Mis- 
 sissippi Major — ^Arrival in New York — Young America — The 
 Original Blitz — Bogus Personages — ^Finding one's Talent — 
 The Man of Brass — Ambitious Office-seeker — Persevering Pol- 
 itician — American Enterprise, - - - 121 
 
 CHAPTER XIII. 
 
 ENGAGEMENT AT NIBLO'S GARDEN. 
 
 How to Dine with Kings — ^A Disturbed Dinner — The King of Pigs 
 — The Great and Little Magician — The Marketman Outwitted 
 — Quakeress and Chickens — The Wonderful Money-bag — Egg 
 Trick — Game of Cricket — A man of Veracity, - 132 
 
 CHAPTER XIV. 
 
 THE BCCENTKIC DR. VALENTINE. 
 
 The Land Doctor— A Wise Phrenologist — Agricultural Chemistry 
 — ViUanous Heads— A Natural Thief— The Gun Trick— A 
 Dangerous Experiment — The Eond-hearted Sailor — ^Almost a 
 Catastrophe, . - , . 141 
 
xiy CONTENTS. 
 
 CHAPTER XV. 
 
 FABBAaE TO BOSTON, AND INCTOENTS. 
 
 A Sound Steamer— Laughable Occurrences— The Gormandizers— 
 A Temperance Governor— HiB Bottle of Whiskey— The Coat 
 of all Colors— A Boston Merchant— Tricks at Faneuil Hall 
 Market— Beelzebub's Wife— Cambridge— Judge Story- An 
 American General, . . . - • 153 
 
 CHAPTER XTI. 
 
 SAMM ■WTTCHCKABT. 
 
 History of Witches — Superstition and Spiritualism— Monomani- 
 acs — Doctor John Price — ^Fire from Glass — Codfish Aristocracy 
 at Marblehead — Lodgings in a Poor-house — A Laughable Feat 
 —The Great West, 166 
 
 CHAPTER XVn. 
 
 ADVENTTIRE8 IN PHILADELPHIA. 
 
 A Model City— The Automaton Chess-player— The Beautiful Lady 
 
 A Truant Husband — The Deserted Wife — ^A Prophecy — 
 
 Victimizing a Judge — Dissecting a Mummy, ... 179 
 
 CHAPTER XVin. 
 
 VISIT TO THE SOUTH. 
 
 Ventriloquism in the Senate Chamber — ^Reminiscences of Web- 
 ster, Clay, FiUmore — The Frightened DarkieB — Joe and the 
 Bale of Cotton — Tom in a Rice Barrel — ''De Debil about, 
 sure!" — Puss and the Rabbits — An Indian Raid — Wheel 
 within a Wheel — An Inventive Genius, .... 193 
 
 CHAPTER XIX. 
 
 A DANGEKOUB CDSTOMBB. 
 
 Bad Men and Worthless Money — Escape from Danger — ^A Shot 
 from Behind — ^Five Dollars Fine — ^Experience as a Detective 
 — Gambling and its Results — ^A Surprising Treat — The Fool- 
 ish " Schoolmarm" — ^A Practical Joke — Jealousy and Love- 
 Happy ConcluBion, ...... 204 
 
CONTENTS. XV 
 
 CHAPTER XX. 
 ON THE MISSISSIPPI KIVBB. 
 
 Effects of my Tricks upon the Indians— Gifted Horses— The Sur- 
 prised Hostler — ^Value of a Negro's Head — Financial Crisis 
 
 Shinplasters- Slave Labor — A Nervous Traveller— Monoma- 
 nia for Life-preservers — Outwitted by Patrick — American 
 Pleasure Travel, - .... gig 
 
 CHAPTER XXI. 
 
 IN THE BRITISH PROVINCES. 
 
 A Dead-head — One of the Smiths — A Myth— The Captain and his 
 Tricks — Great Mystery — A Full Disclosure— Spirit and En- 
 ergy of Americans— A Prophecy Fulfilled— Sir John Harvey, 230 
 
 -CHAPTER XXn. 
 
 NOVA SCOTIA. 
 
 Residence of the Duke of Kent — Animals Bewitched — The Golden 
 Oranges — Up the St. Lawrence — Great Excitement at my 
 Feats — Before the Bishops and Clergy — Alleged Miracles — 
 Newspaper Ballets — Entertainment at the Government House 
 — Sir George Arthur, - ... 244 
 
 CHAPTER XXin. 
 
 LAUGHABLE INCIDENTS. 
 
 The Wise Turkeys— The Gobbler's Talk— Astonished Clergy- 
 man — ^Misplaced Confidence — Professional Thieves — Philoso- 
 phy of Pocket-picking — ^Family Bedroom — A Serious Mistake 
 — Smuggling a Passenger — Child in a Carpet-bag — Travelling 
 under Difficulties — The Mystified Quaker, - " - - 858 
 
 CHAPTER XXIV. 
 
 AJfUSING INCIDBNTS. 
 
 Excitement in a Market — The Pig in a Beet Barrel — The Vegeta- 
 ble Trick — The Egg Trick — Ancient Magicians — A Discom- 
 fited Widow — Hours with the Insane — Touching Appeal — An 
 Interesting Case, - ... 271 
 
288 
 
 xvi CONTENTS. 
 
 CHAPTEE XXV. 
 
 DAME FOETTTNB. 
 
 Thirty-five Tears Ago— Poverty and Biches— John Jacob Astor at 
 Eighteen— The Millionaires of New York— Future of New 
 York City— Ventriloquial Illusion— A Koyal Bed— Dangerous 
 Attempt— Barbadoes and George III.— Dinner-party Disturbed 
 — The Mystery Explained— Believers in Sorcery, 
 
 CHAPTER XXVI. 
 
 THE CHHISTIAlir SKIPPEB. 
 
 A Great Surprise— Prayer and Praise — Sea Voyage — Trinidad- 
 Temporary Amalgamation' — ^Ignorance of the People — The 
 Connecticut Captain — Cook and the Monkey — An Expensive 
 Pet — Last of the Monkey, - 301 
 
 CHAPTER XXVII. 
 
 ANTIGUA. 
 
 Negro Pilot — Educated Horses— An Enraged Captain— Kidnapped 
 Negro — The Old Nick — Conscientious Minister — Sir Charles 
 and Lady Fitz Roy — Capital of St. Kitts — Chartering a Vessel, 312 
 
 CHAPTER XXVin. 
 
 A SEA VOYAGK 
 
 Schooner Dart — Storm at Sea — Queen of the Fairies — ^A Dream of 
 Heaven — Joe Spoils the Dream — Water-nymphs — Captain's 
 Argument — Results of Education — The Unknown Visitor — 
 An Old Maid — Skipper Confounded — Secret Revealed, - 326 
 
 CHAPTER XXIX. 
 
 CONTINXIATION AND CLOSE OF TBOPICAL TOHR. 
 
 My Entertainments — Jamaica — ^A Diabolical Character — ^Haunted 
 House — Party of Cowards — Great Battle with Hobgoblins — 
 The SiQging Mule — Obstinate Dick — The Prolific Eggs — Un- 
 hatched Chickens — Nonplussed Merchant — ^Awful Predica- 
 ment — ^A Warning Voice — ^A Drunkard Saved, - - . 344 
 
CONTENTS, xvii 
 
 CHAPTER XXX. 
 
 CUBA. 
 
 Public Conveyances— The King Pig— Havana— Rights and Privi- 
 leges of Travellers — ^Appearance of the City — Governor-Gen- 
 eral — Qualifications of Rulers — Judges — Land and Naval 
 Forces— Great Contrast— Schools— Sugar Plantations— Labor, 361 
 
 CHAPTER XXXL 
 
 rtrciDENTS nsr hataita. 
 
 Great Superstition — ^Enchanted Apple — The Mystic Bouquet — 
 Thieving Soldiers — ^An Unjust Pine — ^Magician's Gold — Gold 
 Changed to SUver — ^Natural Magic — A Bit of Philosophy — 
 Liberal Landlady — ^Peculiar People, - - . 375 
 
 CHAPTER XXXn. 
 
 THE CUBAN LOVERS. 
 
 Senorita Liez Garcia — Senor Carlos, the Old Castilian — Great 
 Opposition of Parents — The Warning Voice — The Magician's 
 Trick— All's "Well that Ends Well— Captain-General of Cuba 
 — ^He Becomes a Victim — ^Before the Alcalde — ^Battle with the 
 Bees— The Beautiful Lady, 389 
 
 CHAPTER XXXIII. 
 
 THE SPBAKUfa POKTKAIT. 
 
 The story of Senorita Alon^o — The Sad Farewell— Oif to the 
 Battle-field — ^Don Felix — ^A Hurricane at Sea — The Catastro- 
 phe — Civil War in Spain — ^Defrauding an Orphan — ^Results of 
 Ventriloquism — Senorita Obtains her Fortune — Justice at 
 Last, - - 401 
 
 CHAPTER XXXIV. 
 
 INCIDENTS AND ADVENTURES ELSEWHERE. 
 
 The Landlord and his Guesfc^-The Musical Quash — Quash and his 
 Master — The Educated Horse — Billy Lemon, and what he did 
 — A Surprise Party Surprised — Tricks Played on Both Sides — 
 Old Scratch — A Rich Joke — Total Depravity, but Quick Jus- 
 tice — A Sleigh-ride, 414 
 
xvm CONTENTS. 
 
 CHAPTER XXXV. 
 
 PHILADEUHIA AND THE REBELLION. 
 
 My Present Residence — Patriotic Ladies — Sanitary Commissions — 
 Effects of a Good Laugh — Soldiers' Reading-room — ^An Affect- 
 ing Picture — ^Free Entertainments to the Soldiers — ^Lidepend- 
 ence Hall — Singular Ideas of Freedom,.- - - 433 
 
 CHAPTER XXXVL 
 
 CONCLUSION. 
 
 The Quaker City — A Buzz on 'Change — A Great Surprise — 
 Thoughts and Sayings of Children — An Impossible Trick — 
 Poor Little Dickey— A Prospective Genius — ^A Public Servant 
 — ^Labor of Pleasing, ..... 433 
 
CHAPTEE I. 
 
 EAELT LIFE. 
 
 IFE certainly presents to us, as we 
 move along, many strange and 
 changeful scenes. At one time, 
 all is light and golden sunshine 
 around us; at another, the sky 
 wears a sable hue, and the scene 
 is changed to darkness and gloom; 
 navight but sad looks meet our gaze 
 wherever we turn, whilst sighing is the only music that falls 
 upon the ear. And how oddly, too, is the world divided. 
 The opinions and ways of its people are so diametrically op- 
 posed to each other, that for us to laugh and amuse ourselves, 
 no matter how innocently, is with some a crime for which 
 there is no forgiveness, while at another time the whole 
 people among whom we are placed are holding momus 
 carnival, and he who perchance wears a serious or sad- 
 dened face, dampens their enjoyment, and by his presence 
 casts a shadow over the hour's festivity. 
 
 " Life is filled with variety." 
 
 So says the song, and no one doubts its truth. It is a very 
 old, and not at all remarkable observation, that, go the 
 world through, " we shall find no two things alike." But 
 the people who are always so very busy moving aboutj en- 
 gaged in all sorts of plain and mysterious doings, and pur- 
 
20 . EARLY LIFE. 
 
 suing no particular object which is of any use, are the most 
 remarkable studies we can find for an hour's contemplation. 
 What do they all want? What are they seeking for? 
 If asked the question, they reply : " To live, and live hap- 
 pily." But in the answer, how varied and diversified are 
 the thoughts and ideas they have as to its nature, or how this 
 particular object is best attained ! One seeks for wealth, 
 another for power and influence, and another for some sen- 
 sual pleasure, — ^aye, for anything that they do not at pres- 
 ent possess, supposing that its possession will bring happi- 
 ness. 
 
 "Happiness! How idle the thought! There is none 
 here," sighs the gloomy brother of the Church. "The 
 world is too full of sin ; it is a dream, a mere fantasy of 
 the braia, in which mortals would forget how wretched 
 they are." 
 
 Such witless sighing and croaking oddly contrast with 
 the fidl, free bursts of glee which break forth from the 
 merry troops of children we meet on every hand, or the 
 loud and joyous songs of the bright birds, to whose pure 
 notes the streams and winds join their ftdl chorus. 
 
 It was a laugh which gave birth to Eden's first echo, 
 and why not stiU let it live on ? 
 
 Laugh, laugh, and be happy ; Ivoe above the thought of 
 wrong, and it will not exist in action. Make all around 
 you refiect nature's purest, sweetest smiles, and your prison 
 doors would soon need no bolts, superstition no bigots, or 
 fanatics' raihngs against this poor, miscalled, misused world 
 of ours. Live, and in living, live not for self, party or 
 sect, but for all humanity around' you, and we say that he 
 who gives to us one hour's pure pleasure, is a far greater 
 philanthropist than he who prates of charity and heaven, 
 which can only be obtained, — so says his creed, — by passing 
 through lives of sighing, fasting, and continued slavish fear 
 
EARLY LIFE. 21 
 
 of Him wlio would have ns in all things free, living for the 
 beautiful and good alone. 
 
 M.Y Birth. 
 
 The 21st of June, 1810, was memorable for introducing 
 into the busy world so humble an individual as myself. 
 What hopes and expectations were awakened in the hearts 
 of my parents, it is out of the question for me to imagine, 
 yet it is no presumption for me to assert that such occasions 
 generally give rise to the most sanguine expectations, and 
 the natural inference is that my progress and lot were 
 seriously and satisfactorily reflected upon, and fully engra- 
 ven on their respective minds. Indeed, as I advanced in 
 years, I became convinced they had truly entertained large 
 anticipations and ideas respecting me, and, while I admit 
 their cherished object, to a certain extent, was not realized, 
 yet they lived to witness me, in a trifling respect, peculiarly 
 noted. 
 
 I was bom in a very delightful and pretty town on the 
 sea-side, opposite a fortified coast, whose tall white cliffs were 
 distinctly visible to the naked eye, and frequently, on a clear 
 day, by the aid of a glass, the sentinel could be observed at 
 his post. 
 
 My parents were respectable, my father being engaged 
 in mercantile pursuits, and for that locality, well off in the 
 world, living quietly, caring but little for the State or its 
 doings. The town was celebrated for the convivial charac- 
 , ter of its inhabitants. The " Black Eagle," (the chief inn of 
 the place) was the favorite and popular resort of old and 
 young, for here peace and war were discussed, and the deal- 
 ers in scandal and gossip found ready worshippers. 
 
 On all great occasions, when labor had to give place to 
 song and dance, and wine was in demand, the landlord of 
 
22 EARLY LIFE. 
 
 the " Black Eagle " was the most important personage in 
 the place, for the best wines had "mine host" in his cellar, 
 and the sweetest tempered little wife in the neighborhood. 
 
 It was here I frequently accompanied my father, and 
 mingled among the gay and happy throng, astonishing all 
 present with a few adroit tricks I had acquired imknown to 
 any person, from certain gypsies who occasionally visited 
 the place for traffic. Indeed, it was a question whether an- 
 other such a boy as myself could' be found in the whole em- 
 pire. Hd^ I learned those apparent wonders, or who was 
 my teacher, soon became a matter of much discussion, and 
 there were not a few who, on such occasions, would shake 
 their heads in a most wise, but incomprehensible manner, 
 and point in that direction called downward, much to the 
 dismay of the greedy listeners ; while others took most spec- 
 ial care to keep at all times a respectful and proper distance 
 from me, for it surely was weU for aU Christian men not to 
 make too early an acquaintance with any of the peculiarly 
 favored ones of their most to be dreaded enemy. 
 
 Under such a state of things, it was not long of course 
 before all things in the village went wrong ; the sheep were 
 lost, and the cattle would get into places where they were 
 never known to go before, and the fowls oftentimes were 
 discovered with eyes wide open at midnight, and during one 
 night in particular, not long before " St. Agnes' Eve," one 
 half the gentlemen's hens held a caucus, which continued for 
 two hours, and when the day dawned it probably never 
 looked upon so many pale and afirighted -faces. 
 
 No work, of course, was done, for aU the village felt that 
 there was something wrong which demanded attention, for 
 what might next occur none could foresee. The priest was 
 consulted, so was the burgher, but none could teU or ac- 
 coimt for the mysteries of the morning, save in one way, — 
 young Blitz must be at the bottom of it all, for he had 
 
SAEZr LIFE. 23 
 
 already confounded the wits of the -wisest, and until he 
 came among them, even the "oldest inhabitant" coidd tell 
 of no such goings on, since his first memory of the .town. 
 What was to be done ? As usual in such cases, none could 
 tell, and after a day's deliberation as to the cause of thgse 
 marvellous signs fmd appearances, aU were just as wise as 
 when they began. After this, the house of my parents he- 
 came more famous than ever, and though there were some 
 who persevered in having^nothing to do with me, yet they 
 might be seen standing a long way off, gazing at mj person, 
 and alleging that they saw most mysterious sights of beings 
 passing in and out of the chimneys, through the windows, 
 and of red and blue fires burning around the house at mid- 
 night, by which these beings were engaged in performing 
 the most complicated dances to wild and unheard of music. 
 But, by the many who had constant intercourse with the 
 family, and saw no great or marvellous changes in them, 
 these tales were not believed. 
 
 Gradually the excitement died away, and the good peo- 
 ple, priests, burghers, women, and all, began to regard my 
 performances with pleasure, and the peculiar tricks were 
 accredited, not to the gentleman unnamable, but as they 
 should have been at first, to my boyish genius. 
 
 So it is that the most unaccountable phenomena or per- 
 formances, which we usually attribute to supernatural influ- 
 ences, by repetition or acquaintance with a few of nature's 
 simplest laws, lose at once all their power for producing 
 superstitious persecution, and we turn away fi*om them, 
 waiting most eagerly for other marvellous events or doings, 
 so-that again we may be able to show the foUy and absurd- 
 ity of human thoughts, in attributing everything which we 
 itt our poor simplicity cannot account for or comprehend, 
 to the most ridiculous or worst of causes. 
 
24 early life. 
 
 School Days. 
 
 My school days were limited in their duration, for at 
 that period little or no attention was given to education, 
 and but few comprehended or advocated the expanding 
 influences produced from knowledge. If an individual 
 could read and write, his superiority was admitted, how- 
 ever deficient in all other branches. My teacher was an 
 old veteran soldier, who had the misfortune to lose a leg 
 in one of those severe battles occasioned by the ambition of 
 l^apoleOn. Of his intellectual qualifications I will say but 
 little ; his disposition was usually mild, and manners aflable, 
 but when excited by any turbulency on the part of his 
 pupils, he would impetuously rush among them, flourishing 
 a huge cane for the purpose of chastising them, which he 
 rarely accomplished, as the boys invariably eluded his iron 
 grasp and warlike blows, by secreting themselves behind 
 and imder the desks. At this moment I can photograph 
 him in my mind's eye as he in his anger is distributing his 
 blows upon the air, apparently fighting his former battles 
 over again, with a more mischievous but less savage foe. 
 
OHAPTEE II. 
 
 APPEAEAIfCE IN PTOBLIO. 
 
 OMEWHEEE 'between the age of twelve 
 and thirteen I was removed from school, 
 my father being strongly induced to turn 
 my wonderful doings to some better 
 account than they had hitherto been. 
 Often had the suggestion been made by 
 travellers who had visited the town, that 
 if they possessed such a child, the first thing which they 
 would do, would be to send him to the great cities, where 
 his genius would be productive of something more sub- 
 stantial than the mere entertainment and praise of his 
 townsmen, or a piece of gold occasionally from some gen- 
 erous stranger. 
 
 It was not long before these suggestions were acted 
 upon, and after a great deal of time and discussion in prep- 
 aration, I left my native village, in the month of Septem,- 
 ber, 1823, in charge of a special attendant, provided for 
 me by my father, who had given us fiill and explicit direc- 
 tions as to our mode of procedure. Through all my life 
 I had never been beyond the shadow of my home. It was 
 a sad time for me, and for my mother, for I was her dearest 
 chUd; yet it was a hopeful one— and when I kissed the 
 tears away ft-om her pale cheek, I bade her be of cheerful 
 heart. " Don't grieve, mother, for me ; for will not our Father 
 in heaven hear you when you- ask of Him to remember and 
 2 
 
26 FIRST PERFORMANCE. 
 
 protect your Antonio ? Yes, yes, indeed he will ; and I 
 shall come home again in a little time, a great, rich man, 
 mother. Don't fear for me. Good, good-by, mother ; " and 
 turning away from my home, with a pure heart full of 
 golden hopes, often looking back to the green fields and 
 hills, where my %ht feet but yesterday boimded so joyously 
 to the wUd free notes of my own niountain music, and in a 
 half sighing, half laughing voice, still crying to the distant 
 form, now almost unseen, "Home, home ! I shall soon come 
 back a great rich man, mother." 
 
 First Performance. 
 
 After a long journey we arrived at Hamburg, where I 
 made my first appearance, and began my pubhc career on 
 the stage, at thirteen years of age. It was not long before 
 all Hamburg had something to say of me, — and the first 
 question with all was, not as to the state of trade, or the 
 health of the people, but — "Have you seen that mysterious 
 boy ? " All were anxious to know from whence I came, 
 who I was, and how I accomplished my wonderful perform- 
 ances. 
 
 From the common and middle classes of the Hamburg- 
 ers, my fame soon reached the higher and more aristocratic 
 class, and I soon became an object of attraction to the 
 greatest. Parties and entertainments were given on my 
 account, and my company was courted by all ranks with 
 marked attention. 
 
 From Hamburg I went to Lubeck, from thence to Co- 
 penhagen, back to Potsdam, and so, to all the principal 
 cities of northern Europe, creating in each as mueh excite- 
 ment and attention as in the first. 
 
 There are not a few, however, who always in such cases 
 seem to feel that it is their bounden duty to place themselves 
 in the way of the fortunate success of any one, no matter 
 
DR. VON KELPBRSTEIN'' S LOVE LETTERS. 27 
 
 who he is, and do all they can to impede his progress. Un- 
 fortunately I found many of this class always in my way 
 wherever I went. 
 
 The Conceited Doctor. 
 
 At Lubeck I met with one, an old doctor, who annoyed 
 me considerably, and was not at all disposed to yield his 
 praises quite so liberally as the rest of his townsmen. He 
 doubted everything, disputed every feat of mine, and often 
 tendered his services to do the same things himfeelf ; and he 
 even went so far out of his way as to charge me at one of 
 my performances with being an impostor, in league with the 
 devil. I replied — ^not at all provoked at such an interrup- 
 tion, for I was always ready then, as now, for a bit of fiin — 
 " Well, if I am an impostor, as you say, I do all my mis- 
 chief where it can be seen and avoided. I keep nothing 
 hidden, as you do, my dear Dr. Yon Kelperstein." 
 
 "Hidden, sir? I hide nothing. Z hide mischief ? What 
 do you mean, you — ^you child of the arch enemy ? " 
 
 " Oh, nothing, Mynheer Doctor, only that you pretend 
 to be such an honest and good man, when even at this mo- 
 rdent, old as you are, you have half a dozen love letters in 
 your pockets, which you mean to send to as many young 
 ladies before to-morrow night ! " 
 
 Now the immaculate doctor thought this rather too 
 ^ave a charge, and so did the audience, for though he was 
 an odd sort of a body, and few of his patients ever got out 
 of his hands alive, yet he was always accounted a prudent 
 man — a perfect Joseph in this respect ; besides, he was a 
 bachelor, and old enough to be grandfather to many of them. 
 
 Dr. Yon Kelperstein write love letters ! To whom ? No ! 
 no! — ^that won't do — and hereupon I was demanded, both 
 by the audience and the doctor, to make good my grave 
 charge.' 
 
28 RETURN HOME. 
 
 "Very well," I replied; "pray let any two gentlemen, 
 with the doctor's permission, search his pockets, and if they 
 do not find the letters, and perhaps stiQ stronger evidence,^ 
 then I am willing to abide your decision." 
 
 " Oh, certainly, certainly, let them — let all Lubeck put its 
 Wnds in my pockets ; pho ! pho ! I know that no such things 
 can be found there. Me write love letters ! Ha ! ha ! "What 
 an idea ! Oh, you young villain ! " 
 
 In accordance with my suggestion, the doctor's pockets 
 were examined, when, to his amazement, and to the no 
 small astonishment and delight of the audience, the half 
 dozen letters were found upon his person, together with a 
 night-cap of such a shape and material as ladies only wear. 
 The letters were unsealed, but very nicely folded up; their 
 beginnings were indited in the most rapturous strains that 
 a poor soul could ever dream of. The doctor was confounded. 
 
 " There, doctor, did I not say true ? Suppose we read 
 them all through.' Fie, fie, man ! you talk of trickery, and 
 do such things." 
 
 The poor man was to*o much out of his wits to answer, 
 and left the hall in a state of mind never to him or all Lw- 
 heck to be forgotten, and Dr. Von Kelperstein's love letters 
 were often the subject of many a merry laugh, while he 
 took good care never to place himself in any situation which 
 might tend to recall them to his memory. 
 
 Return Home. 
 
 After travelling two years I returned to my home. My 
 first camp'aign had been quite a successful one, and the 
 money which was realized therefrom Was sufficient for the, 
 comfortable maintenance of my parents and myself for some 
 time to come. But I was to have a very far difierent meet- 
 ing from the one which I had so hopefully talked of at part- 
 ing, and so pleasantly anticipated as each month went by. 
 
FIBST GREAT AFFLICTION. 
 
 29 
 
 My beloved motlier had scarce folded me in her arms, 
 before she was taken down with a fatal disease, which ter- 
 minated her existence in a few hours. My father became 
 frantic at his loss, and for a time knew nothing of what was 
 passing arouad Mm. Such was my first welcome home. 
 
CHAPTEE III. 
 
 EXPEEIENCES AKD INCrDElfTS DT ENGLAUD. 
 
 BOUT six months after the loss of my 
 mother, I again began to think of maMng 
 another and more distant tour. My home 
 had but little to charm or delight, for there 
 was now no gentle voice of a mother to 
 cheer, and caress me ; no mother's ear to lis- 
 ten to my tales of the many wonders which I had seen, or 
 look with eyes of fond delight when I spread before her the 
 many gifts which I had received, as tokens from friends 
 wishing still to be remembered. My father conld not at 
 first bear the thought of such a thing as parting, but after 
 many struggles, and my oft-repeated importunities, he at 
 last consented, on the condition that I should return at the 
 end of a year. 
 
 "Most assuredly, father, it shall be as you desire, but let 
 me for awhile seek to forget in other places far away, if I 
 can, my poor mother. Gabriel will again go with me ; and 
 now give me your blessing. "With our Holy Father's 
 care, you need not fear for your Antonio's absence, or for 
 his return ; but think of them both as past, and he beside 
 you, never to leave you again, father ; no, never." 
 
 A few days after this, my father blessed and parted with , 
 me, his boy, and I saw my home, father, and the green 
 shadowed spot where my mother lay, for the last time, and 
 then turned my thoughts and footsteps toward England, 
 where I landed near the holiday times of Christmas, 1825. 
 
AN ENGLISH AJJDIBNGE. 31 
 
 My arrival in England was marked by no particular cir- 
 cumstance of note, for I came unheralded and unknown — 
 a stranger to every face I met ; but I was resolute, young as 
 I was, and with, a stout heart I commenced operations in 
 earnest, assisted by my attendant, Gabriel. 
 
 PiRST Appearance in England. 
 
 My first appearance before an English public took place , 
 at Dover, in December. The room was very well filled by 
 quite a respectable audience, who, whatever might have been 
 their expectations as to what they were to see for their two 
 shillings during the performance, at its close became so 
 wonder struck, that many had very serious thoughts as to 
 whose company they had been in ; and there were not a 
 smaU portion of this, my first English audience, who felt 
 quite serious misgivings as to my being of mortal make. 
 
 Of course their astonishment soon found utterance, and 
 uot many days passed before the " young stranger " enjoyed 
 a very wide reputation ; and tales were told of my doings, 
 and affirmed to by the churchwardens and beadles, which 
 left but little need, on my part, of other assistance to notify 
 the public, and my new friends in particular, of what they 
 would see in honoring my performance by their attendance. 
 
 As I passed along the streets, I would be followed by 
 crowds, all very anxious to get a look at me, and enjoy some 
 of my peculiar favors, for I was, among the lower classes, 
 believed to be capable of doing anything, and to enjoy my 
 favor was not an item to be treated lightly. 
 
 Clerical Opposition, 
 
 I soon found myself in business, for, besides my stated 
 performances, there were many who sought me out to gain 
 favors for their own personal benefit, and I was requested 
 
32 CLERICAL OPPOSITION. 
 
 to do all sorts of things. One poor old fellow offered me a 
 few shillings to restore his sick child to health ; another wished 
 for a coat ; another, a young lady, wished to know as to the 
 truthfulness of an absent lover ; while still others, on whorq. 
 Sir Cupid as yet seemed to have had no special favors to 
 bestow, anxious to solve all doubts, sought the all-talked-of - 
 magician to know whether love had anything in store for 
 them. 
 
 Every event or circumstance which had occurred, was, 
 brought for solution, and there were not a few who pos- 
 sessed credulity enough to believe that I had the power to 
 grant each and every favor, and to set all mysterious doings 
 and doubtful matters right. From the smaller provincial 
 towns, we made our way into the cities, and, after being in 
 England some four or five months, I an-ived at, and made 
 my first bow in, the city of Exeter (where my reputation 
 had preceded me), in the early part of 1826. "When the good 
 bishop heard that I had really come under his very nose, he 
 was not at all pleased with the idea, and bethought himself 
 how I was to be avoided. He knew of no better way than 
 to preach, and prejudice the people against me. So, on my 
 arrival, there was a general notice given for all good Chris- 
 tian men and women to avoid seeing, or in any way having' 
 anything to do Avith a mischievous lad, who, by his perform- 
 ances, was leading the heads and hearts of all the people 
 astray. 
 
 Such an aimouncement, whatever might have been the 
 idea of the reverend archbishop, did but little to allay 
 the excitement, and the curiosity of all became from such a 
 proceeding doubly aroused. I, on the other hand, felt, 
 as the bishop -seemed to regard me as a person of so much 
 importance, that it was my duty, if possible, to maintain 
 my position. .Accordingly, I in return gave information 
 that I would cause a watch to be transported from my exhi- 
 
THE WATCH TRICK. 33 
 
 bition room to the "Lady's Pulpit" in the cathedral on 
 such an evening. 
 
 The evening came, and, notwithstanding the notice of 
 the bishop, as many came to witness this astonishing feat 
 as the place could hold. 
 
 At my request, persons were appointed on the part of 
 the audience to watch me narrowly, while others were to 
 visit the "cathedral at the appointed signal, and procure the 
 "watch. Of course all my operations were most closely ex- 
 amined. The feat was to be performed by a pistol being 
 loaded by any one of the persons appointed ; the watch to 
 be hung in a position where it could be seen by all; and 
 when I fired at it, it should disappear, and then the others 
 were to start immediately for the cathedral, where the watch 
 should be found, as I promised, under a cushion lying upon 
 the "Lady's Pulpit." 
 
 In fulfilment of this assertion, after t^ie pistol was dis- 
 charged, the committee started for the cathedral, and found 
 the watch just as I had said it should be, in the very place 
 named, under the cushion lying upon the pulpit of " Our 
 Lady." It would be impossible to describe the excitement 
 which this feat occasioned. All Exeter was in an uproar, 
 and the bishop, together with all connected with him, be- 
 came as much at a loss as to who this very singular being 
 was, as the rest ; but they were determined that his perform- 
 ances should not go on. They contended that it would not- 
 do for Christians to see such things, and every interest of 
 the Church .^demanded that they should be put an end to at 
 once, by an appeal to the ecclesiastical court. Before this 
 body I was summoned to appear and give answer as to who 
 I was, and by what agency or instrumentahties I was enabled 
 to do such strange and mysterious performances. 
 
34 indictment and trial. 
 
 Before the Council. 
 
 The Bcene presented at the sitting of the ecclesiastical 
 council, before which I, Antonio Blitz, was summoned to 
 appear, was rather a novel one. A bench of learned men, 
 holding grave deliberations, listening to, and troubling their 
 wise brains with, the fanciful tricks of a boy, and at one time 
 half deciding upon a verdict that I should not be permitted 
 to go at large, being a dangerous foe to the souls of aU 
 the good people of their several parishes. Wisdom must 
 have taken a peculiar fancy for a residence, if she had any 
 pla-ce beneath the wigs of such mortals. 
 
 In compliance with the summons, T made my appearance 
 before the council, to answer to the call of the bishop, and 
 hear the various charges preferred against me. 
 
 As far as I. understood them, they certainly were of 
 rather a funny character, and I could not possibly believe 
 that the men who sat before me could really be in a serious 
 mood. 
 
 But my doubts were soon put to an end, for the members 
 were most gravely called to order, and the clerk proceeded 
 to read a very lengthy written document, in which Antonio 
 Blitz was charged as being an idle, mischievous person, de- 
 ceiving honest people by base acts, and tempting them to 
 look for riches, by giving themselves over to his master, 
 : — the arch-enemy of mankind. So read the clerk, and 
 " Amen ! " responded this whole bench of Solomons, while 
 the beadle closed in by bringing down his staff with a most 
 emphatic thump upon the floor. 
 
 To these charges I, Antonio Blitz, was called upon to 
 reply. Whereupon I said, " that as the learned bishop and 
 his friends seemed much to doubt my ability to do what I had 
 done, without some other assistance than that of mortal kind, 
 I begged leave to perform some few things before them, for 
 
THE FRIGSTENED JUDGES. 85 
 
 surely the devil, whom they alleged as being my assistant, 
 would not dare to make his appearance before such a holy 
 body of men." 
 
 This proposal, among the more reasonable and curious, 
 seemed very proper, and would, in their opinion, be a fair 
 test of my original power to perform my peculiar tricks, 
 and after some little hesitation it was acceded to. 
 
 An Experiment. 
 
 I went through several of my performances, and while 
 doing them, the wigs were motionless upon the heads of the 
 grave men, not a whisper disturbed me, and even the bea- 
 dle's staff laid, as if struck with amazement, against his 
 shoulder. 
 
 At last I called for a pistol, and commenced very delib- 
 erately the processs of loading. " What is he going to do 
 now?" whispered the wise men one to another, and their 
 attention became fixed, and their minds more excited than 
 ever. After I had finished the loading, I observed that the 
 feat which I was now about to perform had never been done 
 by me before, but I doubted not of its success. 
 
 "What is it to be ? " asked one of the black-robed judges. 
 
 " Simply this : I shall ta;ke a position somewhere about 
 here," said I, placing myself immediately in front of the 
 reverend bishop, and pointing the pistol directly toward 
 him, " and when I fire, the bishop will disappear from the - 
 room, and you will find him sitting in his library, where I 
 wish you all to go immediately after you hear the report, 
 and see if I make not my assertion good." 
 
 " What ! is he going to fire at his reverence ? Horri- 
 ble ! " exclaimed the whole bench at a breath. 
 
 "Most certainly," I coolly replied. "It is only an ea>- 
 periment." 
 
 f'No, no, no, no! We are satisfied." 
 
36 A SUPBRSTITIOUS MAGISTRATE. 
 
 " 'Well, I cannot help it. I insist upon going through 
 with the performance," and hereupon proceeded to take aim 
 very, deliberately, but the bishop, judges, clerk, court, beadle, 
 and all, fled in utter confusion from the room, and though I 
 was not pennitted to carry out my experiinent to its full 
 extent by the discharge of the pistol, yet not one of the 
 Keverend Bench were to be found again anywhere near me; 
 and what became of them, or their charge of sorcery, I 
 never knew, for I was not again molested, but very quietly-^ 
 took my leave the next day. 
 
 A Superstitious M.agistrate, / 
 
 From Exeter I proceeded through the southern and 
 western counties of the kingdom, stopping at all the toWns, 
 but in many of them I was not permitted to perform, by an 
 order generally originating with the curates of the parish. 
 In Cornwall, there was no Hmit whatever given to the 
 tales which were told concerning me, and here I was again 
 a n-este d an d brou^ t before the magistrate of the borough, 
 j|>l^oloneCTre main^ and openly charged with being engaged ; 
 "in the "Black Art." Now this colonel somewhat resem- 
 bled, and reminded me of Shakespeare's early friend, Sir 
 Thomas Lucy, and between him and myself there arose 
 quite a discussion as to who was the conjuror. 
 
 " What mean you, sir, by bewitching the parish by your 
 Mack avt and conjuring?" asked the colonel in a. fierce 
 magisterial sort of a style. 
 
 " I am no conjuror, your worship," replied I, " nor do 
 I have anything to do with the black art." 
 
 "Silence, sir, fellow, Z know that yoii are a conjm-or ; 
 for since you have been in this parish, there has not been a 
 single complaint made by a wife against her husband, or a 
 family disturbance of any kind. Sirrah! this was not so 
 once— for I had always as much as I could do in these 
 
FIRST VISIT TO LONDON. 3T 
 
 s 
 
 matters, and there has not a day passed that I did not send 
 either husband or the wife to the tread-mill; sirrah, / 
 say that you aye a coninrnr. T say so, ymmfyst.er. r^mtm^ 7?«i 
 Tremaiae, justice, and chairman of the p oor-house) 
 ■Smmme, and-colonel of His Majesty's militia m the cpunty 
 of Cornwall, — /, sir — and you, had better think, too, who I 
 am." 
 
 " I do, your worship, and I say, with all due deference to 
 your worshipful greatness, that unless you were a greater — " 
 
 " What ! ha ! a greater what ? " 
 
 " Conjuror than myself, you could not so readily detect 
 me." This reply put the colonel into a tremendous pas- 
 sion, and there is no knowing what he might have done, 
 had not a son of his, returned just at the moment, who had 
 heard of, and seen me go through with my performances. 
 
 He very soon set the matter right, and that same even- 
 ing I was a guest of ^ the colonel's, who, with the curate, 
 soon believed me to be one of the most remarkable men 
 aHve, if I was not indeed a conjuror. 
 
 The poor Cornish miners looked upon me as a being not 
 all of human make, and often did they solicit me for some 
 personal favor. 
 
 Their condition was indeed miserable in the extreme, 
 living two thirds of their short lives beneath the earth, 
 scarce seeing the light of day. They were poor, poor in- 
 deed ; and when I saw how degraded and abject they were, 
 I often wished that the power attributed to me was mine ; 
 but my pity, and a few shillings, was all my art could give 
 in answer to their importunities. 
 
 First Visit to London. 
 
 From the provincial towns, I turned and made my way 
 to London. I had now been performing in England above 
 
38 PRESENTED WITH A BIBLE. 
 
 two years, yet I had never visited this, the great metropolis 
 of the world. 
 
 I arrived in London during the Lent season of 1828,^ 
 and commenced an engagement at the Coburg Theatre, 
 where my performances met with astonishing snecess, filling 
 the house nightly with surprised and delighted audiences. 
 • But even here there were many to be found with the same 
 feelings of credulity, as ignorant respecting my character, 
 and profession, and performances, as were those in the most 
 remote and benighted districts. 
 
 A Nervous Landlady. 
 
 Even ia this metropolis (London) there were many who 
 regarded me with feelings akin to awe, and spoke of me as 
 one to be avoided. 
 
 My hostess partook of this feeling to such an extent, that 
 she deemed my presence unsafe to her bodily and spiritual 
 peace, and one morning, politely told me that she preferred 
 that I would find lodgings elsewhere. 
 
 " "Why, my good lady, what have Zdone ? " 
 
 " Nothing, sir ; you s§em to be a very quiet little gentle- 
 man, but how do you live ? " 
 
 "How do /Uve? Why, honestly I hope." 
 
 "What, with all them curious looking things in your 
 
 rooms ? If o sir, you are a I don't know what you are ; 
 
 only please do go away, sir. I don't want your money, for 
 it would not stay with me, and I am a poor woman, and 
 let my rooms that I may live. Do go away, sir, do ; and, 
 then, let me give you this, ahd perhaps you will not be 
 tempted again." 
 
 The gift proffered by the simple-hearted woman was a 
 Bible, in which, by some means unknown, save only to me, 
 there was found upon opening it, a five pound note. This 
 
A JfJBRVOUS LANBLAHY. 
 
 39 
 
 of course I returned to the good woman, whe was perfectly 
 lost as to the cause of its being there. 
 
 After some further conversation, her fears and misgivings 
 as to the character of her lodger gave way a little, and she 
 permitted me to remain,' and I thiok never had cause to 
 repent her decision. 
 
CHAPTEE IV. 
 
 AN ADVENTURE WITH GAMBLEES. 
 
 N the commencement- of these 
 sketches I had a little to say, -by 
 way of introduction, about a being 
 making himself as happy as he well , 
 could, while acting his hour of life, '■ 
 and that it was a positive duty for 
 every one both to seek for, and 
 yield to others, as much pleasure as possible. There is no 
 need whatever, because we laugh or make others laugh, . 
 that we should do wrong to effect it. 
 
 Smiles are the light of angels' faces, and I can see no 
 particular harm in their being reflebted from mortals. No, 
 no! smile, laugh and be happy, say I; and the truthfulness 
 of my theory I will maintain, agaiust anything of flesh 
 that's human. Eut, beside affording such benefits, amuse- 
 ments of any kind often bring with them important reflec- 
 tions and results. Even my performances, though for the 
 most part only intended to amuse, and looked upon with 
 ihoughts only for the moment, yet through them it is no 
 hard matter to account for the thousands of those myste- 
 rious beings who lived in the earlier history of the world, 
 and have come down to us as magicians, philosophers, and 
 divinities, and to trace the causes of their marvellous doings. 
 The whole list of Greek and Eoman divinities, who are 
 said to -have done such very famous things, were no doubt 
 
X,OST, BXJT S^VED. 41 
 
 peifonnei-s of the same order to which I belong, aiid so also 
 were the thousand saints of the middle centmies, who now 
 occupy such prominent places in the ecclesiastical history of 
 some of the nations' creeds. 
 
 Both science and art have been often indebted to such 
 perfonnances for many valuable discoveries, and the reformer 
 and moralist need not to tm-n away from them with a 
 sneer, for were they better acquainted with these things 
 than they unfortunately happen to be, they would find that 
 no small assistance might be gained thereby in carrying out 
 their operations much more successfully than they now do. 
 
 The finished gamester possesses many a tiick, which all 
 look upon with a smile to see a magician execute, but to 
 which the gambler's partner owes his ruin. 
 
 Lost, but Saved. 
 
 In connection with this, I have a httle incident to relate 
 in sxipport of its truth, in which I was a timely pai'tici- 
 pator. The landlady with whom I resided, and who was so 
 much inclined to turn me from her doors, had a son, a young 
 man, who, as fai- as appearances went, was one of whom his 
 mother might weU be proud. She was proud of him, for 
 scarce a day passed witliout my ha^ang something to hear 
 from her in his praise. In the fond parent's heai-t " her 
 Harry " was the only deity of her eai-thly worship. He 
 held a good situation as clerk, and was indeed a young man 
 of good prouMse, and in whom his employers placed gi-eat 
 trust and confidence. I frequently met and conversed with 
 him, but always noticed that he appeai-ed to be iU at ease 
 and abstracted, seeming to forget himself, and wearing at 
 times a most saddened face. The mother s;\w it, too ; but 
 whenever she spoke of it he would tm-n her off by saying 
 tliat it was nothing; only the fiitigue of his day's work ; or 
 that he was not Mell ; or had to sit up too late, for he was 
 
42 THE SAME OLD STORY. 
 
 -oftentimes not at home until near morning ; this he account-,, 
 
 ed for by saying that he was obliged to remain at the store, 
 
 . or some such thing — and so it passed on ; the old lady 
 
 talking anxiously about Harry, while he grew more and 
 
 more abstracted and gloomy. 
 
 I, of course, did not feel exactly at liberty to question him, 
 still, I knew that swrnethmg was wrong — ^but what, I must 
 wait to see, and I had not long to remain in suspense, for, 
 on going home one night from a party, where 1 had been 
 until a late hour, I found, on arriving at the door, the young 
 man pacing up and down the street in the greatest distress 
 of mind conceivable. 
 
 "Why, Harry ! what is the matter? " I asked, not a Kttle 
 alarmed at this sudden scene. "What are you doing 
 here? " 
 
 "I am a lost man, ruined, eternally ruined, and my 
 poor mother — " 
 
 "Euined, lost, what do you mean?" 
 
 "I — I have lost everything — ^my salary, my mother's 
 little jewels which my father gave her — ^and to complete my 
 guilt, I have r-r-obbed my employers." 
 
 "You! you! robbed your mother, and your masters! 
 When, and for what purpose ? " 
 
 "Yes, I have done it — and not an hour since I staked 
 
 the last crown of my thievings on the card table at —- . 
 
 I — I am damned forever," he cried wildly, throwing him- 
 self upon the doorstep, in an agony of grief. 
 
 Here was a scene indeed; a young man, before whom, 
 J)ut a few months since, there were the happiest' prospects 
 of an honorable life — a mother's only hope, and the esteemed 
 confidant of an honorable mercantile house, lying abjectly 
 upon the earth with every darling hope ia ruin. Here, then, 
 was the cause of his silence, his moodiness, and his late 
 hours. 
 
THE GAMBZI.VO SALOON. 43 
 
 I saw it at a glance, and as quickly did I resolve to save 
 Mm if possible. After some little entreaty I persuaded the 
 young man to leave the place where he was and go with me 
 to some more secluded locality. On my way I learned the 
 whole story. It was a simple one, and just such as happens 
 every day. 
 
 The young man, by the invitation of a friend, had been 
 
 induced to visit , to see the place ; next, to take a 
 
 game or so for the pleasure of the thing ; soon, to make it 
 more interesting, small sums were staked, and lost of course; 
 next, to win them back, debts were incurred, which if not 
 paid, would lead to exposure. Poor Harry ! he saw his 
 ^position, but how could he return. His salary was small, 
 and only came on quarter-days. 
 
 Theyriend suggested harrowing, without asJcing a loam, 
 — ^for he could replace it in a few days, and no one would- 
 be the wiser, for luck would turn. It was as ever, the 
 old story over again — and he fell into the snare, first by 
 . robbing his mother, then, on this day, he had taken fifteen 
 pounds from his employers. 
 
 After listening to his tale, I knew at once how the 
 young man had been duped, and proposed that he should 
 
 go with me to — ^ , "where," said I, "though I never 
 
 gamble, yet I hope to teach you a lesson that shall cause 
 you never to place your foot within this, or any similar place 
 again. Come, it is now near morning, and if you wish to 
 save yourselfj do as I direct, and perhaps it can yet be 
 done." 
 
 My companion led the way to the saloon, where I was 
 to be introduced as a special friend. All, of course, were 
 happy to see me, and with the young man near, I sat down 
 at one of the card-tables and commenced to play. For a 
 time I lost, but soon the game began to assume a more 
 favorable turn, and after an hour's play, I arose from the 
 
44 - THE BITER BIT. 
 
 table and left the place mth above a hiindred and fifty 
 pounds in my pocket. 
 
 After I bad gained the street, and was a considerable 
 way from the bouse, where my visit had not been a veiy 
 agreeable one to some who wished me to remain longer, I 
 turned and said, " There, Harry, you see what I have done. 
 This fortune, as you gamblers call it, is a cheat, and the 
 money which I have taken from those scoimdrels who 
 robbed you, was done in accordance with their own princi- 
 ples. Here are the cards I played with," and beneath the 
 light of a street lamp I showed him a pack of cards, so 
 arranged that I could always hold the game in my hands. 
 Besides, I designated marks by which I could tell the char- 
 acter of every card in the hands of my opponents. " There," 
 said I, " in those and similar ways, lie the art of gambling. 
 You have been duped, but I know that you wiU not be so 
 again." 
 
 "I see it aU — ^but now it is too late! " exclaimed the poor 
 fellow. "Now I see my disgrace." 
 
 "Not yet; promise me but one thing and you shall be, 
 saved." 
 
 "What is it? I will do — ay, Je anything, only for my 
 poor mothei-'s sake." 
 
 " Give me your word of honor then, that you will never 
 again touch card or dice box, and here is the money which 
 I have won. Take it ; pay back the sum which you have 
 taken from your employers — rmake what honest and time 
 account you can to your mother, and remember as long as 
 you live, the night of the 10th of March, 1829." 
 
 The young man promised — and I never had occasion to 
 doubt but that he kept his word. 
 
CHAPTER V. 
 
 nSTQUISlTIVE LADIES. 
 
 HE ladies, many of them, felt a great in- 
 terest in my perfoi-mances, and often, 
 while in London, I was visited by nmn- 
 bers -who were extremely anxious to know 
 what was to be their future destiny ; and 
 as I could do so many very imaccount- 
 able things, they supposed that I also 
 possessed the power of reading coming 
 -jevents. In this they were mistaken, and my applicants 
 were obliged to leave me, in as much uncertainty as to what 
 the ftiture was to be to them, as when they came. 
 
 Others requested a private interview, to inquire concern- 
 ing the past ; of property stolen ; of absent relatives, where 
 they were, whether dead or alive ; these, and similai- inquir- 
 ies, were made to me daily, supposing I was able to give 
 the desired information. 
 
 In some of these interviews, although I could not feel 
 myself at liberty to impose upon the credulity of my visitors, 
 by pretending to know of things past, or reveal the myste- 
 ries of the hidden fature, by nods, winks, and half intelligi- 
 ble sentences, yet I preserved more than one from ruin, in 
 the expositions which I made of the arts pursued by those 
 .cheating tricksters, who nnblushingly assert tliat they can 
 read the destiny of every one, who will place within their 
 grasp a guinea or a dollar. 
 
46 TBE BROKEN-BEARTED MAIDEK. 
 
 _ It is a very unfortunate thing tliat there are so many 
 who are inclined to be duped in this way, and ofttimes ha.s 
 the fortune-teller's tale had so much influence as to cause 
 fears, doubts, and even misery, all of which had their origin 
 from the revelation of something which was to come upon 
 the head of the simple questioner. 
 
 The Broken-hearted WLaiden, 
 
 A young girl with her mother, or " two ladies," as they 
 were announced by the boy-of-all-work, called upon ine one 
 morning at my residence, who, after making a good many 
 excuses, and expressions of hope, that I would not regard it 
 as an intrusion, went on to say — the elder lady I mean, for 
 the younger remained perfectly passive, and, with the ex- 
 ,ception of an occasional sob, it m ould have been quite a diffi- 
 cult matter to have determined whether there was indeed 
 anything animate or not, beneath that dark bonnet and veil, 
 which stood beside its talking companion — " We have ven- 
 tured to call upon you, sir," commenced the mother, for so 
 she was to her companion — "we have ventured to — ^to call 
 upon you, sir — " 
 
 " Yes, madam, you have called upon me," said I, anxious 
 to relieve the poor lady from her embarrassment, and half 
 guessing at the object of her visit. " Tou wish me, madam, 
 to tell one or both of your for — " 
 
 "No, sir, no, no, sir, not that— for Repast we know, and 
 the future is as well known, we fear," exclaimed the lady 
 hastily, while the agitation and sobbing became much more 
 evident beneath the bonnet and veil. "No, sir, my daugh- 
 ter Marion only wishes to be more certain that this is 
 indeed true." Here the lady took from her dress a paper 
 which appeared to have been much handled, for it was 
 worn, and stained in many places, and several of the char- 
 acters upon it were almost illegible. " This, sir," said she, 
 
THE FORTUNE TELLER. 47 
 
 "is Her fortune, told, and written out for her, the night be- 
 fore James left for the Indies, nearly three years since, and 
 God knows how true the words written there have been 
 thus far — ^fbr see, see, sir, what it says," pushing the paper 
 into my hands. 
 
 "While she had been spealdng, the daughter, no longer 
 able to conceal her anxiety, had thrown her veil aside, and 
 now with her mother stood watching me in a most earnest, 
 and anxious manner. There were tears upon her cheek, 
 and hope had but httle to do in giving expression to her 
 eyes. The poor girl was indeed a sad picture to look upon, 
 and when I saw how intently I was watched by her, I scarce 
 knew how to act, or what to answer. It was no hard mat- 
 ter to read the whole story of their grief, and trace its origin 
 to the paper I held in my hand, upon which the poor 
 girl's fortune was written; and, indeed, believing, as she 
 appeared to, in its truthfulness, she had some reason for look- 
 ing sad, for there was hardly an ill in the whole catalogue 
 -of woes, that she was not condemned to suffer — and was to 
 die at last of a broken heart. 
 
 Some three years previous, her lover, in a playfal mood, 
 just previous to his departure for the Indies, where he was 
 to go with his regiment, proposed that Marion and himself 
 should have their fortunes told. So, iu accordance with the 
 suggestion, they sought the sybil's haunt, who, with much 
 parade, told an indescribable quantity of stuff, which was 
 anything but inteUigible, and ended with giving them each 
 a paper, which was not on any account whatever to be 
 opened for a month after its deUvery. 
 
 The morning after, James and Marion parted, each won- 
 dering what the strange paper could contain, and what 
 would be its revelations, each promising to open and read 
 their future destinies on the same day and hour. Foolish ! 
 many will say, and there is no doubt but all such things do 
 
4S GOOD ADVICE BT THE AUTBOR. 
 
 betray a great deal of simplicity, yet the greatest sre not free 
 from committuig like follies. On the appointed day poor 
 Marion, wlio liad scarcely slept a night since her lover's 
 departure, took the paper from its place of concealment, 
 broke the seal, read it, and had been unhappy and miserable 
 ever since. 
 
 It was sufficient that it served to make the poor simple 
 girl as miserable as she could well be, and would indeed 
 fulfil at least one part of the prediction, which was, that 
 she should die, as I have beforesaid, of a broken heart. 
 
 I looked over the paper, and then fully understood the - 
 object of my visitors, and the cause of their apparent misery.^ 
 I was called upon by them to give my opinion respecting 
 the contents of that paper. 
 
 "Do you believe what is here written ?" I asked, after 
 hesitating for a wliile what to do. 
 
 "Yes- — ^yes, sir," sighed^the young girl, "for I could not 
 help it, and I have not heard from James for two long 
 years. Is it not true? Oh, do, dear sir, say it is not true — 
 only say so — and here I will give you all I have in the 
 world. Only tell me whether I shall see him agaiu." 
 
 She could say no more, and in her endeavors to reach her 
 pm-se to me, fell faiuting in her mother's arms. "When she 
 was restored to consciousness the paper was nowhere to be _ 
 found, but I told her that it was false, false in every par- 
 ticular, for \h.Q future was known to no one. 
 
 " Have you no reason ? " I asked. " Think for a mo- 
 ment, if you can, who knows the work of the next hour, 
 or what it will bring forth ? Cheer up, cheer up ! I teU 
 you that paper is false, and see if Zdo not tell truly." 
 
 It would be almost impossible to describe the 
 change in the faces of my two visitors. Where, 
 but a moment before, there was to be seen only the 
 deepest of hopeless grief, now were smiles; and the ejes of 
 
TBdUBLES WITS MAKAGESS. 49 
 
 the poor girl sparMed with joy and hope, and they left me, 
 fall of expressions of gratitude, after promising that at the 
 end of a few days they would call npon me again. WilMn 
 a week they came, and James was with them. He had 
 returned but the day before, and was now a yoimg and 
 promising officer in the service of the East India Company. 
 
 PiSGUSTED WITH M.ANAGERS. 
 
 I remained in London from eight to- ten months, during 
 which time I had been very successfol, so fer as making my- 
 self popular was concerned, although pecuniarily I realized 
 but very Httle in comparison to what one would natm-ally 
 expect from seeing the immense numbers who flocked to 
 witness my performances. It was my misfortune to fall 
 into the hands of bad managers, who, for the purpose of 
 monopolizing me entirely to themselves, would make me 
 very hberal offers, but ever failed to perform their engage- 
 ments ; consequently, I found, at the end of eight months, 
 that I was very far from realizing my opening expectations, 
 and resolved at once to have nothing more to do with man- 
 agers of any kind, but in futm-e to act upon my own re- 
 sponsibility. In 1829, having left London, I was again 
 performing in the provincial towns, creating as much excite- 
 ment and interest as ever. One week found me at Bath, 
 next at Bristol, then away to Liverpool, where, after a very 
 successfiil and profitable stay of two weeks, I started for 
 Exeter, where I now ventured again to gp, having little feai- 
 that its venerated bishop would, after our last meeting, 
 trouble himself much about me. 
 
 Jack Ketch, the Hangman. 
 
 I left Liverpool for Bristol, very early in the moniiug, 
 about two hours before day ; and, on getting into the coach, 
 though I could see scarcely at all, yet I soon satisfied myself 
 3 
 
50 JACK KETCH, THE HANGMAN. 
 
 that, witli the exception of one passenger, I had the inside 
 all to myself, and of course, under the circumstances, I con- 
 cluded to occupy as much of the coach as possible, and make 
 myself as agreeable as the. case would admit. 
 
 But there was one thing" I would have preferred, and 
 that was to have had my fellow-passenger a lady. But no ; 
 there was the hat, the coat — ^black, and of formal cut — and 
 the whiskers! My companion was, like myself, of the 
 masculine gender. 
 
 " Cold morning," said I. 
 
 " Yes, very," said the hat and whiskers. 
 
 Here we stopped for a time to speculate upon the 
 probable character of each other, as the coach flew on at a 
 rapid rate, to the occasional enlivening music of the guards- 
 man's bugle and the sharp crack of the coachman's lash. 
 
 Gradually the day began to dawn, and offered us a little 
 light upon the subject. 
 
 "What might have been the speculations of my compan- 
 ion concerning me I was not permitted to know, but I found 
 him to be quite a clever-looking kind of a personage, very 
 well and carefully dressed, and for some time I was in doubt 
 as to his not being a dissenting clergyman of some order or 
 other. He talked very well, too, and appeared quite con- 
 versant with many of the leading questions of the day, upon 
 which, during our ride, we had several discussions, agreeing 
 on aU matters save two — ^namely, the subjects of sxispension 
 and capital punishment. There we differed, and I found 
 myself earnestly opposed by the gentleman on the opposite 
 seat, who became at times quite excited. Said he : 
 
 "L)o away with capital punishment! Oh, no, sir; 
 never, never ! I shall go against such a thing, most assur- 
 edly, sir, most assui-edly. Why, sir, it is our salvation — ^the 
 country's safety; and, sir, if /had my way, /would hang 
 twice as many ; and I think, sir, that we should live all the 
 better for it ; I know that /should." 
 
A. GREAT MISTAKE. 51 
 
 *I found it was of no use in talking npon that poiat ; for, 
 say what I wonld in opposition to capital pnnisliment', he 
 only became more vehement in favor of " siosperimm" — it 
 was the only way to bring people to their senses. I then 
 spoke of the execution which was to take place the next 
 day in Bristol, and asked my travelling companion if he in- 
 tended to be present. 
 
 '•Ye?, sir, Zsliall most certainly be there." 
 ^ So we rode on, varying the time in all ways to make the 
 dnlness and monotony of a long ride npon a dull, dark day, 
 as agreeable as possible. 
 
 On arriving at the place of destination. I foxmd a great 
 number of people assembled around the hotel where I was 
 to stop, and supposed that they had heard of m»/ coming, 
 and were there to get a first look at me, a circumstance 
 which, as I stepped from the coach, excited my vanity con- 
 siderably. But I soon found my mistake, and discovei-ed 
 that it was not my arrival that was the occasion of all this 
 excitement, but that oiihejwmous and worldrlenovm, "Jack 
 Ketch," who immediately followed me out of the coach, and 
 had been aU the way down my traveUing acquaintance, 
 sent for by the sheriff to act his part at the coming execu- 
 tion ! Quite an agreeable idea, certainly, to ride the whole 
 day alone with the veritable "Jack Ketch" himself, the 
 hMigman of England. 
 
 1^0 wonder the gentleman was not at all in favor of the 
 abolition of capital punishment. What became of him I 
 knew not, for almost before his feet touched the ground he 
 disappeared, but appeared again, so I heai-d, upon the scaf- 
 fold the next morning, and attended to his duties in his usu- 
 ally correct and business-like manner. 
 
 I think this a very good lesson to all public men, aaid 
 advise them to remember that a hangman has as • much 
 power to atti-act a crowd, as the most learned or talented. 
 
CHAPTER VI. 
 
 IRELAND. 
 
 AVJJfG previously arranged to visit 
 Ireland at this period, I siacerely re- 
 gretted tlie necessity of separating my- 
 self from those who had not only be- 
 stowed on me their pnblic patronage, 
 but manifested toward me the warm- 
 ^zJ^^S^^ est friendship, and even given me a 
 social welcome. Their liberal institntions, just laws, and 
 highly cultivated country, strongly impressed my feelings, 
 and with a sorrowful emotion, I left them. 
 
 Immediately after reaching Dublin, I commenced my 
 entertainments, remaining nearly six months, amusing the 
 citizens in public and private, and as few persons of my 
 profession had ever visited that city, the impression I pro- 
 duced on the miads of many was extraordinai-y. If umbers 
 consulted me respecting diseases and complaints, seeking 
 advice and medicine, supposing I possessed the power to 
 relieve pain, and suffering, and all the ills life is subject to. 
 When I justly remonstrated with these people, assuring 
 tiiem of my want of knowledge and inability to render 
 them the necessary relief, their sad expression of counte- 
 nance and disappointment frequently gave way to tears. 
 Such scenes were frequent as they were lamentable and 
 trying. 
 
 During my sojourn here, I gave two exhibitions at Dub- 
 
A WONDERFUL TRICK. 53 
 
 lin Castle, in the presence of His Excellency tlie Marquis 
 of Anglesea— the Lord Lieutenant of Ireland — an old Wat- 
 erloo officer of distinguished fame and courage, and a pleas- 
 ant and refined gentleman. At each representation, the 
 hall was crowded with invited guests of dukes, lords, and 
 ladies. A little incident occurred on one of these occasions 
 which afforded at the time much amusement. 
 
 A.N Aristocratic Cabbage. 
 
 A young gentleman about the age of twenty-five years, 
 in military dress, and connected with the nobility, was un- 
 usually talkative and officious, entreating me to perform the 
 most impossible things imaginable, and notwithstanding my 
 repeated assurance that they could not be accomplished, he 
 continued his importunities, greatly to the annoyance of the 
 company and myself. A short time previous to the close 
 of my entertainment it was necessary for me to procure 
 assistance for a particular feat. I had no sooner made the 
 request than the loquacious individual hurriedly arose and 
 presented himself. At the conclusion, he made a few steps 
 toward leaving, when he suddenly paused, and removed 
 from the button-hole of his coat a beautiful rose, of bright 
 crimson, and holding it up, desired, to know if I could, by 
 means of my art, transform it into one of a larger size. 
 " Certainly," I replied, taking it in my hand and covering it 
 with a white linen handkerchief I requested him to blow 
 upon it, and at the same moment remove the covering. He 
 did so, with great rapidity, when, to his utter astonishment, 
 and the general amusement of all present, there appeared a 
 huge cabbage ! One can well imagine the chagrin of my 
 assistant, his fallen looks, and the merry and exciting laugh- 
 ter that followed. 
 
 Thirty years ago, even the educated and wealthy had not 
 wholly renounced the superstitious ideas associated with all 
 
54 VENTEILOqUISM ILLUSTRATED. 
 
 degrees of art and science. The mind of man had not the 
 penetrating powers of the present day in accounting for 
 
 ■ peculiar causes and effects, and the influences resulting from 
 circumstances. The time had not arrived for separating 
 genius and credulity, in which the marvellous stories of 
 witchcraft and ghosts had their bases of existence ; early 
 education favorable to this belief was common. But how 
 fortunate is mankind, that as each generation advances, so 
 intelligence increases, and proves the supposed mysteries of 
 
 . the past to be either the demonstrations of truth, or the ro- 
 mance of thought ; and while many may dispute the laws 
 which govern the senses, or the impressive character of the 
 mind, none will deny that our natures are fanciful, and that 
 we are inclined to embrace the false and imaginary. 
 
 Keturning to matters of more interest to the reader, I 
 will state that Dublin was the first city wherein I practi- 
 cally illustrated the art of ventriloquism. 
 
 For more than two years I had devoted all my leisure 
 time and attention to its acquirement. I admired it great- 
 ly, for the amusing and singular effect it never failed to 
 produce. This fondness for the art materially contributed 
 to my improvement. It had never been my good fortune 
 to hear but one ventriloquist, a gentleman in private life, 
 who would occasionally entertain his friends. From hhn I 
 gained my knowledge. 
 
 The Frightened pocToi\^ 
 Dr. Crampton, at this time, was one of the most emi- 
 nent surgeons in the metropolis, celebrated for his great 
 skill and medical attainments. His practice was extensive 
 and remunerative. Attracted by my feats, we became per- 
 sonally intimate, and on one occasion he invited me to 
 accompany him to the hospital to witness a dissection. The 
 idea of being present at such an operation was repugnant 
 
tSE FRIGBTENED DOCTOR. 55 
 
 in the extreme, but after a raoment's reflection, I assented, 
 resolving, if possible, to alarm the disciples of Esculapius. 
 We entered the doctor's carriage, and, in a little time, arrived 
 at the coUege, where directly I found myself in a moderate- 
 sized apartment, with a long, narrow table in the centre. 
 On the floor, in one corner, I perceived the bodies of two 
 males and one female. The view was dreadful, and I could 
 scarcely refrain from giving vent to my feelings of indigna- 
 tion ; for, perhaps, these very subjects had been ruthlessly 
 removed from their graves, and their living friends would 
 have revolted at their becoming subjects, even to medical 
 science. Every look I bent upon the bodies produced the 
 strongest reasoning in opposition to such unfeeling indiffer- 
 ence toward the dead. 
 
 What a theme was before me for philosophizing ; those 
 inanimate bodies may have been in their lifetime physically 
 and intellectually great; their presence the charm of an 
 affectionate household. While in this reflective mood, a 
 body was removed from the floor and placed in position for 
 being dissected. 
 
 Dr. Crampton had taken his knife in hand, and was about 
 to make an incision, when a supplicating voice, apparently 
 proceeding from the subject, exclaimed, " Oh, doctor, doc- 
 tor, do not injure me ! pray have pity, for I was once mor- 
 tal!" "So were we, doctor!" muttered the two in the cor- 
 ner. At these sounds froni the supposed dead, a perfect 
 storm of excitement commenced, which it is totally impos- 
 sible to describe. Many seized theii* hats and rushed to the 
 door ; others declared they had become the jest of concealed 
 persons in the closet, beneath the floor, or on the roof. A 
 hasty examination was made of every spot, but without suc- 
 cess. After order had been ehghtly restored, the whole 
 group of surgeons and students formed a circle around the 
 table, and with the most earnest anxiety watched the body. 
 
56 GREAT RUSB AND CONFUSION. 
 
 Dr. Crampton had no sooner lifted the knife — ^which m 
 his surprise he had let faU — when another voice broke 
 forth: "It is cruel to mutilate the remains of what was. 
 once a lovely woman." 
 
 Every eye was turned to the spot from whence these 
 sounds issued, when the subject on the table cried out, "It 
 is an outrage to thus abuse a woman ! " At this juncture a 
 general rush was made toward the door, in which I partici- 
 pated. Each and all expressed their belief that the devil 
 had appeared to prevent the employment of the knife and 
 its revelations. 
 
 When I descended to the street, I perceived Dr. Cramp- 
 ton walking rapidly toward his carriage. I followed, and 
 as he was about taking his seat, I imitated the voices in the 
 dissecting room ; he instantly closed the door with much 
 force, while I stood laughing before him, asking how he 
 had appreciated my fo'st attempt at ventriloquism. The 
 doctor appeared amazed, and replied that I had successfully 
 deceived him and the faculty. "We separated under the 
 promise that the affair should be kept a profound secret, in 
 order that himself and students might not be subjected to 
 the ridicule of the public. Forty years and more having now 
 passed, and Dr. Crampton long since ceased to be num- 
 bered among the living, I can honorably assume the liberty 
 of giving publicity to the incident. 
 
 This trial of my powers as a ventriloquist was satisfac- 
 tory to myself, and convinced me that I had arrived at suf- 
 ficient perfection to make the art a prominent feature in my 
 exhibitions, which I have ever since done, creating a lively 
 interest thereia and begetting countless incidents of the 
 most ludicrous and extravagant character possible. 
 
OHAPTEE Vn. 
 
 IBISH CHAEACTEE. 
 
 I UBLIN" was at tliis period a fine city, witli 
 a large and increasing population. It 
 was famed for its institutions and public 
 bnildings. Tlie citizens were liberal, kind, and hospitable, 
 and by far more intelligent than otherwise. The extremes 
 of wealth and poverty were more significantly visible than 
 either in England, Scotland, or "Wales ; yet I had never 
 seen people so gloriously fertile in inventive happiness. 
 
 To me they appeared practically buoyant and attached 
 to the character for which they are so renowned; and as the 
 peculiarities of a nation are disclosed by their habits, so the 
 Irish are faithfully recognized in all parts of the world. 
 
 Laniel P'Connell. 
 
 While I remained in Dublin I became acquainted with 
 Daniel O'Connell. He was a man of warm impulses, devo- 
 ted to his family, and indisputably a patriot and an ardent 
 lover of his country. 
 
 Occasionally he attended my entertainments, frequently 
 epeaking at the close of the refreshing relief he realized in 
 his mind. His influence with his feUow-countrymen was 
 surpassingly great, he was the victim of much vitupera- 
 tion and enmity, and frequently observed that he considered 
 himself the best abused man in the country. In his poKti- 
 cal principles, he was broad and expansive, a firm advocate 
 3* 
 
58 DANIEL O^CONNELL. 
 
 of all appertaining to civil and religious liberty. This 
 gained him the bitter hostility of his opponents, and resulted 
 in the most zealous employment of his time and abilities in 
 behalf of Ireland. In return for the sacrifice, of a valuable 
 profession, he was rewarded with an annual tribute, by the 
 inhabitants of his native land and other admirers. He 
 asserted "the government could make no act of Parliament 
 which he could not drive a coach-and-four over." He wSi" 
 frequently prosecuted, and I believe but once ggnv icteq and 
 imprisoned. When a friend at that time remarked to him, 
 that he regi-etted that he did not run "his coach" in/ defi- 
 ance of the law, O'Connell replied, "Ah! this is but a 
 casual upset." 
 
 Ireland never Jiad a truer advocate of her rights, or the 
 oppressed a firmer friend. To his efforts are due Catholic 
 Emancipation, and the removal of those laws seemingly 
 obnoxious to his country. As time advances, O'Connell will 
 become more admired, and better appreciated as a patriot 
 and benefactor to his race. 
 
 Lady Morgan, the authoress, was also a frequent visitor 
 at my morning soirees, as were all the resident persons of 
 rank, and those temporarily in the city. 
 
 Irish Wit. 
 
 During the season, a band of Kussian horn-players 
 appeared at the Theatre Royal. Their style of music was 
 original and novel ; each instrument played one note only, 
 all harmonizing correctly and producing the sweetest tones, 
 much resembling those of an organ. The horns were of 
 various sizes, from one foot to thirty, and the latter were 
 supported on trestles. The company numbered nearly 
 forty persons, who were said to be the slaves of a prince, 
 who had given them permission to leave their country- for 
 two years. 
 
IBISS WIT. 59 
 
 They had visited Italy, Germany, France, and England, 
 with much success. At one of their concerts the house was 
 densely crowded, and the band had for some time delighted 
 the audience, when suddenly a person seated in the gallery, 
 in a full Hibernian voice, cried out, " Plaze, play up the 
 Cholera Morbus." Immediately the whole audience in the 
 gallery made the same demand, when the uproar became 
 general, so that ultimately Mr. Calcraft, the manager, found 
 it necessary to make his appearance. After learning their 
 wishes he communicated with the leader, in French, who 
 . stated they were not acquainted with the air. On Mr. Cal- 
 craft's repeating this to the audience, the Hibernian in the 
 gallery exclaimed, "Be faith and sure, Mr. Manager, is it 
 not a Russian air, — ^for did not the cholera come from Kus- 
 sia in a ship laden with hemp?" At this explanation, a gen- 
 eral clapping of hands and laughter took place which lasted 
 several moments, much to the surprise of the Russians, 
 who were of course unable to appreciate the musical capac- 
 ity and ready wit of a fun-loving Irishman. 
 
 The band shortly afterward sailed for the United States, 
 where they succeeded admirably, but an unfortunate dis- 
 agreement among themselves caused a complete separation. 
 
 After the conclusion of mj entertainments in this city, 
 I proceeded to Drogheda, Dundalk, Armagh, Newry, and 
 Belfast, astonishing all classes and ages, so that my success 
 and prosperity exceeded my anticipations. The poor and 
 ignorant gazed on me with fear and suspicion, doubting my 
 identity with the human race, and nothing could prevail on 
 them to believe my associations on earth were of an honor- 
 able character, and worthy of the countenance of a rehgious 
 or thoughtful people, so positively certain were they that I 
 must be the Prince of Parkness himself, or his agent. The 
 last named city was already a place of great trade and im- 
 portance, and much of its population originally emigrated 
 
CO MABCHIONESS OF DONEGAL. 
 
 from Scotland. Their habits, feelings, and interests were 
 mercantile and progressive, industrious and economical, 
 beyond measure. 
 
 During the continuance of my exhibition here I received 
 the flattering attention of the wealthy^ and the respect of 
 the worthy poor. 
 
 The Marchioness of Donegal, who resided in the imme- 
 diate neighborhood, gave me the use of her favorite assem- 
 bly room, besides contributing her especial patronage. 
 
 I continued my journey, passing through Coleraine, and 
 visiting Ireland's greatest curiosity, the Oiamfs CoMseway, ■ 
 which is romantic and wonderful. I opened at London- 
 derry, a city celebrated in history for its siege and famous 
 defence, the suflfering and horrors of old and young, and the 
 events necessarily associated therewith, and notwithstand- 
 ing none were then living who participated in the struggle, 
 every variety of reminiscence was related with as much ac- 
 curacy as though it had but recently transpired. So vividly 
 was all appertaining to its character portrayed by the inhabi- 
 tants, that I doubt if an individual could be found ignorant of 
 the facts. The city was prettily built, walled, and ancient in 
 its appearance ; noted for its estates of beauty, surrounded by 
 wealth belonging to the nobility and persons of distinction. 
 
 The Talking Codfish. 
 
 Passing one morning through the market, I came to a 
 fish-stand and inquired the price of herrings. 
 
 "Four-pence a dozen, yer honor; how many will you 
 take?" 
 
 "Are they fresh?" I inquired. ■< 
 
 "Faith they are," replied the man; "they were in the 
 sea before the sun rose this morning." 
 
 " That is not tnve," came angrily from a large cod on 
 the stand. 
 
TSE FISH STOBT. 61 
 
 "Be Saint Patrick, wlio are ye that dare dispute me to 
 the jintleman ? " cried the fisherman, in loud and excited 
 tones. 
 
 "It is me, Barney!" said the fish. "You know we have 
 all been in tliis stall for nearly a week; so speak the truth, 
 you old sinner ! " 
 
 Bai-ney now clenched his fist, drew himself up into posi- 
 tion, and, looking at the object of his wrath with great 
 anger, was about to strike, when the fish exclaimed^ — 
 
 " Don't kill me, Barney, I am a mermaid ! " 
 
 "And sure, what is a mermaid? " said Barney. " Speak 
 out, or I'll stop your false tongue forever ! " 
 
 " Why, Barney," said the fish, " I am the mother of all 
 the fish that swim ! " 
 
 " And sure, if it is a woman ye are," replied Barney, 
 "the devil a bit will I forget mesilf." 
 
 By this time many persons had collected around the 
 stall, and while Barney was recounting the story, with his 
 eyes half out of his head, I quietly walked away ; but one 
 of the number recognizing me, shouted, " It was the ven- 
 triloquist, Barney. There he goes!" when a laughing 
 chorus followed me in my departure. 
 
 I proceeded on my travels again, exhibiting at Strabane, 
 Omagh, Ballina, Castlebar, Tuam, Galway, Gort, Ennis, 
 and Limerick. In all these towns I was an object of 
 mirth to many, and fear to others. The religious would at 
 times cross themselves, apprehensive lest I might bewitch, 
 or play some unholy prank upon them, and while I admit 
 such anticipations on their part, it is pleasant to relate that 
 no insult or unMndness was oflfered me. 
 
 The Dishonest Servant. 
 
 Limerick (the new part of the city) was handsomely 
 laid out and well regulated, containing a lively community. 
 
62 TSE DISHONEST SERVANT. 
 
 'The proprietor of the hall I exhibited in was also the land- 
 lord of the hotel. His family was composed of several mem- 
 bers, who looked upon me with unmingled awe', for ia their 
 own minds they were confident I was in league with Beelze- 
 bub, for how was it possible that a man of flesh and blood 
 could perform feats so miraculous and incomprehensible. 
 While there, one of the ladies had a quantity of jewelry and 
 money stolen from a bureau in her sleeping-room. She 
 made me acquainted with the theft, and regarded the dis- 
 covery a matter of certainty in my hands. ' What action I 
 should take to recover the same, required consideration, for 
 to some extent my reputation was liable to lose its prestige, 
 which I was desirous of avoiding. 
 
 I personally examined the location of the room and 
 stairs, and dwelt upon the character and circumstances of 
 those who had continual access to all parts of the house, 
 reflected upon their taste, and love of dress, gayety, liberal 
 habits, and antecedents. A few days enabled me to form a 
 probable opinion as to the culprit, yet, to proclaim this 
 without the most positive proof, would have subjected me 
 to great difficulties. I concluded, therefore, to make no 
 special charge in regard to any particular person, but to 
 request the lady to appear, with all the members of the fam- 
 ily, in the hall. At the appointed time, the whole party 
 had assembled. I then remarked that it was well known to 
 all present that an amount of money and jewelry had been 
 stolen, and that I was solicited to discover the person who 
 had committed the act, and although it was exceedingly 
 unpleasant for me to be employed in an affair so serious, 
 and which must produce shame and disgrace, yet I consid- 
 ered it my duty for the honor and interest of each, to reveal 
 the truth. I had, therefore, investigated the matter, and con- 
 sulted with the Oracle of Fate and the spirit of our individ- 
 uality, and had thus been able to detect the guilty one, who 
 
TBB REPENTANT CHAMBERMAID. 63 
 
 was then in our presence. At this statement a sudden sen- 
 sation prevailed. Every countenance sparkled with amaze- 
 ment, accompanied by a restless anxiety to know who was 
 the accused. .But as it was not in my power to gratify their 
 wishes, I requested their indulgence in refusing for the mo- 
 ment to expose the individual, for I was fully convinced the 
 property taken would be as mysteriously returned, which 
 win avoid exposure, pain, and imprisonment, and perhaps, 
 be the happy means of producing a repentant heart, and 
 honest actions in future. But, should I be disappointed in 
 my prediction, then there would be no alternative but to 
 give publicity to the name of the offender. At the conclu- 
 sion, my listeners dispersed, astonished greatly by the infor- 
 mation imparted. That evening I attended a party, to 
 which I had been invited, and did not arrive at the hotel 
 till a very late hour, and when ascending the stairs to my 
 bedroom, I was startled by the sudden apparition of a 
 female before me, who, with despairing look and pitiful 
 countenance, placed her forefinger to her lips, and extend- 
 ing her hand, offered me a package. For a moment the 
 surprise produced a sensation approaching timidity. Ee 
 covering my self-possession, I recognized one of the servants 
 engaged as chambei-maid, who had listened to my observa- 
 tions at the meeting. In mournful and trembling tones, 
 scarce above a whisper, she uttered, "Oh, sir! here is the 
 stolen property. It contains all; I am a wretch, but for 
 the peace of my aged parents do not expose me. It is the 
 only offence of my life ; promise to grant my request, and 
 I wiU always pray for you ; " at the same instant kneeling, 
 and with uplifted hands, declared before the All-Seeing Eye, 
 that she never would commit a dishonest act again. 
 
 Rising, she continued her petition for my silence, feel- 
 ing assured I could read every heart. 
 
 From her shaking hand I received the parcel, and prom- 
 
64 ATTACK OF CHOLERA. 
 
 ised to keep tlie matter a secret, which I had no sooner de- 
 clared, than she breathlessly disappeared. 
 
 For a second I remained motionless with astonishment. 
 Eecovering myself, I hastened to my room, but the graphic 
 events I have related so occupied my mind that all sleep 
 had vanished for the night. In the morning' I had an 
 interview with the lady, and handed her the package, 
 which, on opening, she found to contaia all the valuables 
 stolen, and while she thanked me many times for procuring 
 the same, earnestly entreated me to explain the proceed- 
 ings, and name the thief. This request it was not possi- 
 ble for me to comply with. I referred her to my remarks 
 at the meeting, when I had stated that if the articles were 
 returned no exposure would be made, and as the object was 
 accompHshed, no farther explanation could be given. The 
 transaction remained a mystery to all, and increased my 
 feme. 
 
 About" this time the citizens were greatly alarmed by the 
 appearance of cholera, as several cases had been reported, 
 some of a fatal character. Unfortunately I was also attacked 
 with the disease, although my medical attendant — a gentle- 
 man of the most excellent capabilities — ^ingeniously endeav- 
 ored to persuade me, from prudential motives, to the con- 
 trary; but with grateful thanks to Providence, under the 
 faithful care devoted to me by my friend Gabriel, and kind 
 nursing, I rapidly recovered, and without delay took my 
 departure, exhibiting at Tipperary, Thurles, Cashel, and 
 Clonmel. 
 
 The J^rightened Tax-Collectoi^ 
 At an exhibition in the first-named town, I discovered 
 that some one of the audience had taken away one of my pets, 
 a white rabbit, valuable for its sagacity and surprising knowl- 
 edge. 
 
THE FRIGHTENED TAX-COLLECTOR. 65 
 
 On inquiiy, I was informed that a Mr. Eyan, a tithe 
 proctor — an office greatly despised — and a most unpopular 
 man, was seen leaving the hall with it in his possession. I 
 proceeded to his residence, found him at home, and men- 
 tioned the object of my visit. He indignantly denied all 
 knowledge of it, and was anxious for the name of my in- 
 formant. At this moment I perceived the rabbit running 
 on the floor, in a back room, and on my directing his atten- 
 tion to the fact, he firmly declai-ed I was mistaken, as the 
 rabbit I saw had been pm'chased by him several months 
 previous. The angry discussion between us was suddenly 
 interrupted by the rabbit jumping toward us, shaking his 
 ears, and, in a gruff tone, saying, "Eyan, you are a scamp, 
 and the Lord have mercy on your soul ! " 
 
 " Wlio dares call me a scamp ? " screamed Eyan, in a 
 towering passion. 
 
 " I do," the rabbit answered. " Tou never paid a ha'penny 
 for me, Eyan. Did you not bring me here last night from 
 the hall ? And you are so mean that I am starving for food, 
 and dying of thirst. Oh, beware, Eyan ! the devil is after 
 ye!" 
 
 " "What ! " he retorted ; " are you the invisible demon ? 
 Take that," giving a furious kick, which luckily did not 
 reach the rabbit, which instantly replied with solemnity: 
 " Eyan, to-night I will call all my imps from below, and 
 take you to the deepest region of fire." Here Eyan be- 
 trayed fear and agitation, and insisted on my taking the 
 rabbit, who was undoubtedly a bewitched animal. I eagerly 
 acceded to his wishes, but was obliged to remove it from the 
 floor myself, so convinced was Eyan as to its being a repre- 
 sentative fi'om the abode of darkness. In a few hours every 
 man, woman, and child were rejoicing at the fright of Eyan, 
 at the same time regretting that I had not indicted him in 
 the Criminal Court for his ehamefdl conduct. 
 
66 
 
 MARTIAL LAW IN KILKENNY. 
 
 I again pursued my travels, appearing at "Wexford, Car- 
 low, New Boss, Ennis, Atliy, and Kilkenny, meeting with 
 pecuniary reward and tlie applause of thousands. 
 
 Kilkenny at the time was under martial law, and, not- 
 withstanding I often became forgetM of the restraint upon 
 my personal liberty, I encountered no embarrassments, but, 
 on the contrary, realized many pleasing incidents, one of 
 which I will relate in the following chapter. 
 
CHAPTEE yni. 
 
 THE WITCHES UNDEE THE BRIDGE. 
 
 T the close of an entertainment, between 
 the hom-s of ten and eleven, I walked to 
 " The Bridge," a charming spot, where I 
 seated myself to admire — after the fatigne 
 mnT-tMr— v>. of the evening — ^the trees, as they, in 
 OQ^^ ^^c^) their lovely foliage, gracefully drooped 
 over the placid water, and the millions of 
 sparkling stars that illuminated the heavens. While con- 
 templating the sublimity and grandeur of the scene, I was 
 disturbed by the approach of a number of soldiers, accom- 
 panied by a sergeant, who accosted me in the Scotch accent, 
 and inquired my residence and object in being absent from 
 -home at such a late hour. I gave him my address and occu- 
 pation, which appeared satisfactory, although he informed 
 me it would be necessary to escort me to my hotel. I en- 
 deavored to be excused, but without success. Then I re- 
 sorted to stratagem, by stating my wiUingness to accompany 
 hiTn as soon as my friends under the bridge had finished 
 their bathing. At this announcement he inclined his head 
 over the railing, and in the broadest accent, shouted, " Hal- 
 loo ! gentlemen." 
 
 " You are mistaken, sir," was the answer, in a woman's 
 voice. 
 
 The sergeant's astonishment, and that of his men,- ap- 
 peared great indeed, on learning that the bathers were of 
 
68 THE BOLD SERGEANT. 
 
 the gentler sex. Then assuming a softer tone, he entreated, 
 "Be ye good wives or daughters, hurry out, for it is na 
 right to be from your house at midnight ; come, and I will 
 see ye safe home." 
 
 " ]S"o, you will not ; we are learning to swim, and intend 
 remaining until the break of day," was the response. 
 
 Here the sergeaat evinced the deepest concern, and ob- 
 served, " You are violating the laws of His Majesty's 
 Government." 
 
 " We do not care a straw for the Mng or his laws," the 
 voice from beneath the bridge replied. 
 
 " If that is the case," responded the sergeant, " I shall 
 order the guard to arrest you." 
 
 The parties below now commenced laughing heartily, 
 and said it was a rich joke for a dozen men to attack them 
 in the river. 
 
 The sergeant displayed inuch excitement, and threatened 
 that, unless the ladies obeyed, his men would immediately 
 execute orders. 
 
 " You had better not, for we will drown every one of 
 them," replied the bathers. 
 
 The sergeant now ordered his men to stack arms, after 
 which he distributed them at different points of the bridge, 
 when for a moment he paused, and again asked the supposed 
 bathers if they intended to submit. 
 
 " No," they defiantly replied. 
 
 " Then over the bridge, boys, but dinna behave rude." 
 
 Splash ! dash ! went the men, drenching themselves from 
 head to foot. A moment was sufficient to convince them 
 that there was no human creature visible — and they commu- 
 nicated the fact to the sergeant, awaiting further instructions. 
 
 "That's na possible," he cried, in loud tones; "ye must 
 .all be blind; dinna ye hear the converse with the twa 
 persons?" 
 
ATTEMPTING AN ARREST, HE GETS A DUCKING. 69 
 
 " True," the men answered, as they stood shivering with 
 cold, " but they have made their escape." 
 
 " Na, na, it canna be sae ; look well, with your e'es open." 
 
 " It is no use, sergeant," the men angrily exclaimed, with 
 chattering teeth. 
 
 " Well, then, come np, and 1*11 gang down mesel." 
 
 The men, well pleased to vacate their unpleasant situa- 
 tion, commenced climbing the abutments, and had nearly 
 reached the surface of the bridge, when they were inter- 
 rupted by loud calls for.help from the supposed females, who 
 cried out distressingly, "We are sinking — ^help ! help ! " 
 
 " Hark ! dinna ye hear the twa ? Down once more, my 
 lads, and capture them," commanded the sergeant, in truly 
 martial style. 
 
 " Yes, yes ; come quickly, and save us ! " came despond- 
 ently from the water. 
 
 The men a second time reluctantly plunged into the 
 river, and with great care searched for the troublesome 
 bathers, but failing in their efforts, became weary and dis- 
 contented, declaring most emphatically that they were the 
 dupes of invisible beings. 
 
 "It is na sae," cried the sergeant. "Mount the bridge,- 
 and I'll see for mesel." 
 
 The poor fellows soon reached the top, when their com- 
 mander gave orders to keep strict guard while he satisfied 
 his own mind. At the same moment he threw himself on 
 the outside of the bridge, and descended to the water, where 
 he cautiously peered about, calling on those he imagined 
 were somewhere secreted, to surrender; repeating his demand 
 in vain, he gave utterance to language more forcible than 
 elegant. Again, and again, he wandered back and forth, 
 around and about, to find his would-be prisoners, but only 
 to add the more to his mortification. Finding his personal 
 exertions equally unsuccessful as the combined efforts of his 
 
IQ GAME OF HWE-ANB-SMEK. 
 
 men, he turned to tlie bridge for the purpose of joining the 
 guard, when a hasty cry reached his ear: 
 
 " Sergeant, are you a Christian, to desert us in our dan- 
 ger ? We entreat you to use despatch, and rescue us from 
 death ! We are on the opposite side of the bridge." 
 
 "Tou are mistaken. I am not the heathen you sup- 
 pose,- but a good Presbyterian." 
 
 Flattering himself he had now succeeded in his object, 
 he moved in the direction advised, when, to his great indig- 
 nation, no one awaited him. 
 
 ""Well," he exclaimed, "ye are like the Jightning that 
 flashes in the eye, and dinna, dinna remain. Are ye some 
 weird sisters of the spirit world, whose consciences the de'il 
 has tortm'ed, and sent forth with witchcraft powers, to 
 plague and dupe humanity? A better game of hide-and- 
 seek I never played. But whether of heaven or earth, ye 
 canna be gude folks ; and so, as it is of no use for a man to 
 waste his philosophy on unseen bodies, I'll gang back." 
 
 Obtaining his hold upon the biidge, with little difficulty 
 he stood before his companions, whose doubts of ever be- 
 holding him were visible on every countenance. 
 
 "Well, men of Company D, the de'il has given us a 
 wild-goose chase, and it -is of no use endeavoring to solve 
 the mysteiy. John Knox, of pious memory, could na un- 
 ravel the adventure of this night." 
 
 During the delivery of this speech I moved to the end 
 of the bridge, where I concealed myself, remaining motion- 
 less until I heard the words given, " Shoulder arms ! Kight 
 about face ! March ! " In a few moments I followed their 
 footsteps, arrived at the hotel, and laughingly related the 
 pastime I had been engaged in. All were interested and 
 amused at the occurrence, and did not fail, the following 
 morning, to give publicity to the exploit of the sergeant 
 and his guard. 
 
A TMOUGHTFUL SON. 71 
 
 I resumed my travels, and entertained the citizens of 
 Waterford, Tranmore, and Dunmore. The latter places 
 ■were delightfully situated on the sesrshore, and attracted 
 numerous visitors for the benefit of salt-water bathing. 
 
 For several weeks I resided in this pleasant neighbor- 
 hood, released from all care and professional fatigue, corre- 
 sponding with my father, and giving him a general state- , 
 ment of my com-se and circumstances. My love for, and 
 duty toward, him were always prominently before me, and 
 nothing could induce me to forget myself as a son, by occa- 
 sioning foi' a moment the least pain to his feelings. My 
 mother's image, her fond alBfection, and the happiness with 
 which they lived together, devoted me the more iatensely 
 to him, for I knew of no act by which I could exhibit the 
 expression of my heart for her memory than by an unwa- 
 vering attaclmient to my father. 
 
 In every instance the good offices and advice of my 
 friend Gabriel were generously given, to promote and con- 
 tinue this fiHal fondness and obedience. After an agreeable 
 sojourn at this romantic spot, I appeared at Eoscrea, Done- 
 raile, Lismore, Cappoquin, Cork Cove, Middleton, Fermoy, 
 Kinsale, Youghal, Bandon, and Mallow. The city of Cork, 
 second in population to that of DubHn, was notable for its 
 spirit and unbounded hospitality — clovers of amusement, and 
 generous to strangers. My success was a perfect triumph, 
 and every exhibition I gave, added the more to increase pub- 
 lic attention and excite the imagination. Rich, poor, old and 
 young, became attracted to my performances ; and while great 
 numbers patronized and encouraged me with applause and 
 a liberality unprecedented, a large portion seriously consid- 
 ered whether the laws permitted such demonstrations to be 
 tolerated, which they considered far exceeding the magical 
 transformations attributed to the powers of Eoger Bacon, 
 Dr. Faustus, and other renowned magicians who flourished 
 
72 OMINOUS .SIGN'S. 
 
 in the dark ages. Private meetings were held by the super- 
 stitious and ignorant, to discuss this question and recom- 
 mend the authorities to interfere, and forbid the counte- 
 nancing my practices in demonology and witchery of the 
 voice. To aggravate in a greater degree the fears and sus- 
 picions of the timid, strange stories were invented and cir- 
 culated by merry wags, whose practical jokes were eagerly 
 listened to by the lovers of marvel — such as, owls were seen 
 flying at midday over the building I occupied; cats and 
 mice gambolled together ia my presence ; cows and horses 
 would kneel as I passed them ; and rats and mice were seen 
 feeding from my hand. 
 
 It was declared that all the church bells toUed at a certaiu 
 hour during the night, and that I never failed to attend a 
 consultation of evil spirits in the surrounding churchyards 
 in the gray dawn of mom ; that every dog growled as his 
 master's children cried in their sleep ; birds sang that had 
 never warbled before; in fact, all were bewitched, while 
 countless voices attended my daily walks. These, and every 
 variety of fabulous tales, were the theme of conversation, 
 so that I had frequently to contend with ardent and deter- 
 mined believers in these reports. No denial or assurance 
 on my part would convince them I was not associated, or in 
 some manner implicated, with the demon of unrighteous- 
 ness. 
 
 That miuds so feeble should exist in the nineteenth cen- 
 tury, compared unfavorably not only with the progress of 
 the times, but iudisputably proved that that basis of credulity 
 which marked their ancesta"al faith in the supernatural pow- 
 ers of man, has yet a lingering element in the characters of 
 their descendants. 
 
 Taking into consideration that this existed at a period 
 when revolutionary movements, on land and water, were 
 producing wonderful benefits to commerce and industry. 
 
EFFECT OF SITFEBSTITIOA\ 13 
 
 annihilating space and time, with the great achievements 
 which civilization was developing in aU parts of the world, 
 we perceive how little the intellectual man had correspond- 
 ingly advanced. 
 
 Happily, at this time, a new era had commenced to 
 reveal its benign and commanding infiiiences. Energetic 
 attention to educational wants, commenced in earnest — 
 schools, and the publication of periodicals in eveiy depart- 
 ment of science and knowledge, calculated to enlighten the 
 mind, and explain and make dear certain phenomena of 
 life, were established and prosperously progressing. If we 
 attempt a compai-ison of the improvements in social and 
 rational views, which have predominated since these oppor- 
 tunities have been afforded, we undoubtedly discover a re- 
 moval of those ideas which gave a degenerating feature to 
 the belief and habits of the people. 
 
 After giving exhibitions at a few other places, I com- 
 pleted my tour ; and, without coiomenting upon its institu- 
 tions or political straggles, will simply add, that I bade 
 adieu to Ireland, and re-crossed the Channel to England, 
 carrying with me a grateful appreciation of then- kindness, 
 and a lasting recollection of their lovely land. 
 
CHAPTER IX; 
 
 VlSrr TO SCOTLAlfD. 
 
 ' ISHIN'G to visit Scotland — a land iater- 
 estrng in its historical associations, and 
 celebrated as the birthplace of Sir "Walter 
 Scott and Robert Bums — ^I passed over 
 into Dumfries, a town of some impor- 
 tance. Neat and compactly built, though 
 irregular, it is picturesquely charming to the eye. Situated 
 on the river Nith, across which it communicates with its 
 suburb Chaswelton, it is regarded as the provincial capital 
 of South Scotland. 
 
 The surrounding country was cultivated to perfection. 
 The extensive farms, and immensity of their productions, 
 appeared almost incredible. 
 
 My audiences were peculiarly characterized for their ob- 
 serving manners. The surprise I originated was manifested 
 iu the strange and apprehensive looks of aU present, for they 
 regarded me with suspicion, and doubted my real dealings 
 with the natural world. 
 
 During my sojourn the coronation of King William the 
 Fom^h took place. The event was celebrated with much 
 enthusiasm, which evinced attachment to the English 
 throne. 
 
 The amusements provided for the day were numerous, 
 and of a varied character, an interesting featm-e of which 
 was the various trades of the place walking in procession to 
 an appointed spot according to the custom of the time, to 
 
TBE FOETUS WIFE AND SON. 15 
 
 contend at target-shooting, for the possession of a silver gun 
 presented as a prize, and to be won and retained by the 
 trade represented by the best marksman, and held by them 
 until the next assembly, when another trial takes place. 
 This had become a local custom, and was prized as a me- 
 mento of interest by the iourgeois. In the evening there 
 was a large assemblage at the Trades' Hall, where addresses 
 were made appropriate to the occasion. The king's health ^ 
 was drank in a hundred or more gallons of puneh, and al- • 
 most every house was illimiiiiated, and the streets lit up by 
 bonfires." 
 
 A second pleasing incident was the return of Colonel 
 Bums, who was the eldest son of the icomortal poet, after 
 an absence of twenty-five years in India. He arrived 
 home on a visit to his mother, and the second morning 
 after his return I had the pleasure of receiving an invitar 
 tion to meet binn at the residence of Mr. McDermot, the 
 talented proprietor of the Dumfries Courier. 
 
 The party was a social and convivial one, and deeply in- 
 teresting by reason of the many anecdotes related, and which 
 were connected with the gi-eat bard's memory. Colonel 
 Bums was a modest and unpresuming man, short in stature, 
 with an inclination to corpulency, between forty and fifty 
 years of age, and I judged near-sighted, from the necessity 
 of wearing glasses. During the evening I enjoyed the 
 pleasure of hearing Tn'm sing one of his fathei-'s celebra- 
 ted songs, which he executed with excellent taste and 
 sweetness. Previous to my departure I called upon the 
 widow of the poet, who resided in a secluded street, and 
 humble house. There was an sir of comfort, without any 
 approach to ostentation. She received me kindly, and freely 
 replied to aU my inquiries relative to her husband, mention- 
 ing many little circumstances connected with his habits and 
 peculiarities. Her conversational powers were not briUiant, 
 
16 GLASGOW. 
 
 neither was there the beauty and romance that had once 
 attracted the poet. 
 
 Dumfries contains many objects of immense iuterest, 
 particularly the monument erected to the memory of Bums, 
 a beautiful piece of sculpture, in which the poet is repre- 
 sented at full length, with his hands grasping the plough, and 
 an angel crowning him with a wreath. 
 
 'Terminating my engagement at Dumfries, my next visit 
 was to Glasgow, a city of great importance, abounding with 
 wealth, enterprise, and largely engaged in mercantile 
 pursuits. Much life and animation prevailed, and proba- 
 bly no place in the kingdom possessed so many natural and 
 varied advantages. 
 
 Improvements were progressing of extraordinary magni- 
 tude, denoting remarkable prophetic knowledge of the 
 future, in the erection of manufacturing establishments, 
 and increasing the facilities for navigation, besides exten- 
 sively extending and beautifying the public streets and pri- 
 vate residences. 
 
 My entertainments were given at a hall in the Arcade, 
 at that time a popular place of resort. Of the thousands 
 who came to see me, hundreds returned home with the full 
 conviction that I was either the d — ^1 himself or closely allied 
 to his Satanic majesty. The whole population became 
 greatly excited, some appearing friendly, while others, 
 incompetent to distinguish between the supernatm-al and 
 the real, characterized me as deserving the fate of the 
 witches and wizards of old, whose temerity was rewarded 
 on the scaffold or by the faggot. Although enjoying the 
 advantages of education, the Scotch people were, neverthe- 
 less, peculiarly superstitious, and have ever been the most 
 ready converts to the improbabilities prevailing in all ages, 
 and the numerous stories, revived in regard to the freaks and 
 incantations of the spirits and magicians of their own coun- 
 
THE SPIRIT OF THE MILL. 11 
 
 try was amusing, and extensively aided in givmg me a 
 marked position in their minds. My success continued 
 undiminished for naonths; crowds were frequently unable 
 to gain admission to my exMbitions, and I was a mystery 
 beyond comprehension. 
 
 In order to continue the interest I had created, I never 
 failed to produce sensation and wonder by the exercise of 
 my ventriloquial powers. 
 
 JHB^: 
 
 PIRIT OF THE M.ILL. 
 
 
 One afternoon I accompanied a party of gentlemen to 
 inspect a new cotton-mill. They were all pleased and not 
 less astonished at the wonderftd attainments which skill and 
 ingenuity had produced. While occupied in examining the 
 engine, a voice suddenly exclaimed — 
 
 " Stop the machinery ! " 
 
 At once aU eyes were directed to the spot, and the 
 engine immediately ceased its revolutions. 
 
 ""Who are ye?" cried the engineer, stooping down, 
 shocked at the idea of being obliged to stop during the 
 presence of visitors. 
 
 "I am between the shafts, and almost crushed to death," 
 called out the sufferer. 
 
 "Well," responded the engineer, "come out, gude 
 man." 
 
 " I wish I could. Lend a helping hand." 
 
 "But I cannot see you," crossly answered the engineer. 
 "Where and who the de'il are ye?" 
 
 " Why, mon, I am Jamie Douglass, and ye dinna care 
 where to find me." 
 
 " K I cannot, you wiU be crushed," retorted the vexed 
 and anxious man. 
 
 " Ha ! ha ! ye must not do that, for it would be murder," 
 
 " Indeed it would," shouted a gruff voice. 
 
18 PAGANim, TSE VIOLINIST. 
 
 At this the whole company became alarmed, anxiotisly 
 looking around to discover the object in danger, when 
 Jamie said — 
 
 " Do yon think the Spirit of the MiU has a body Hke 
 yonrselves ? " 
 
 " Spirit, good or bad," declared the engineer, in a pas- 
 sionate voice, "here goes the works." 
 
 Immediately thereafter, a terrific shriek appalled the 
 bystanders, but at this moment a gentleman present, recol- 
 lecting my profession, cried out — 
 
 " Go on, engineer," pointing to me, " there is the Spirit 
 of the MiU. — Signor BUtz, the ventriloquist ! " 
 
 Much humor followed this disclosure, in which the en- 
 gineer heartily joined. 
 
 The Babe in the Violin Case. 
 
 During my exhibitions, Paganini, the celebrated violinist, 
 gave several concerts in Glasgow. His superiority over all 
 previous professors of this instrument, and the many roman- 
 tic stories connected with his life, secured for him great 
 fame. His genius consisted in performing on a single string 
 varied airs, displaying great brilliancy of execution, and pro- 
 ducing the sweetest tones conceivable. 
 
 It was said he had been a long time imprisoned in Italy, 
 his native land, on account of his political priaciples, during 
 which time he had fully developed his talents and made 
 himself master of the instrument. 
 
 He was tall and awkward-looking, cadaverous in feature, 
 ungainly in form, with long black hair, said to be very 
 wealthy, and characterized as extremely penurious. No in- 
 stance was ever known of his contributing a penny to the 
 distressed, or to a benevolent institution. One morning I 
 called and found him quietly seated in his room alone. 
 After conversing with him a short time, I noticed his violin- 
 
TSE BABE IN TBE VIOLIN CASE. V9 
 
 ease lying upon the table, wlien suddenly tlie cry of a cMd 
 issued from therein. 
 
 " Who is that ? " said Paganini, quietly looking around. 
 
 "It is me, with the babe," answered a womanly voice. 
 
 " My Got ! what is this ? " inquired the astonished vio- 
 liiiist. 
 
 "You wen know," plaintively answered the woman — at 
 the same tirae the infant again commenced ciying. 
 
 " Me know you are a bad woman," vehemently declared 
 the excited man. 
 
 " And did you not make me so, you old Italian fiddler." 
 
 After this there was apparently a commotion in the box, 
 when Paganini became alarmed, and was about to leave the 
 room, when I immasked myself, and explained that he had 
 been a victim to the vagaries of ventriloquism ; which, 
 on learning, delighted him prodigiously, and grasping me 
 by the hand, exclaimed, " Bravo, signer ! — ^bravo ! " 
 
 That the destinies of men are unfathomable is an unques- 
 tionable truth, and no human agency can reach the operating 
 influences which control our actions. The purposes of the 
 mind to-day are changed and governed by the events of to- 
 morrow. We perceive the shadow without the power to 
 realize the substance, proving all life to be responsible to 
 the benign rule of an All-Wise and Supreme Being, rather 
 than to oui- own wisdom. 
 
 M.ARRIAGE. 
 
 In closing this account of my merry doings in Glasgow, 
 I must not omit to describe an adventure of a personal 
 character — one miemorable to me above all others — ^which 
 no time can efface, and memory will ever fondly cherish. 
 
 Walking one afternoon in company with Gabriel, we 
 met three ladies, and as we passed them, I observed to him 
 that the centre lady would he my wife. All three were 
 
80 
 
 FALLING IN LOVE, AND ITS CONSEQUENCES. 
 
 entire strangers to us. Can it be considered an accidental 
 circumstance, a decree of fate, or attributable to tbe magical 
 influences of my art, when I assert that within a few weeks 
 I was united by marriage to the lady in question ? To de- 
 scribe the beauty of her person, the accomplishments of her 
 mind, or the affectibn of her heart, would be impossible. 
 For nearly thirty years we lived affectionately and happily 
 together, and were blessed with a large femily of children, 
 who were her special care, until the wise Creator removed 
 her to a home in heaven. 
 
 My marriage was the great event of the day, for at every 
 fireside and in every home the matter was discussed and 
 opinions freely expressed. I was accused by many of having 
 secured her affections by witchcraft, and was also declaimed 
 against as a sorcerer, and guilty of exercising mystic powers. 
 
CHAPTEE X. 
 
 EDHTBTJEG. 
 
 ERT brief was my retirement, and hav- 
 ^ ing again resumed business, I arrived at 
 Edinburg, the capital of Scotland. It 
 would occupy a large amount of space to 
 describe the many objects of attraction, both local 
 and national, with which this city abounds. The 
 never-failing interest appertaining to her Mngs, 
 queens, and nobility, their history, love of coimtry, 
 and heroism, deeply impressed my mind with a sym- 
 pathy for the people. 
 
 There is no nation whose past history contains so much 
 to charm and admire, and where the peculiar traditions of 
 their ancestors are so fully developed. 
 
 The city presents innumerable monuments of Scottish 
 events — every footstep is hallowed with precious memorials 
 of the past. 
 
 The contrast existing between the buildings of the old 
 and the new town was surprising. The antiquity of the 
 former, compared with the beauty of the latter, illustrated 
 the progress of the age. 
 
 Probably there is not a city in the world where the in- 
 habitants are so cultivated, and have reached so high a 
 standard in literature and science, or where elegance and 
 refinement are such prominent features in the courtesies of 
 
 life. 
 
 i* 
 
82 THE FBIGHTENEB JANITOR. 
 
 I commenced my exMbitions at the Assembly Eooms, 
 the audiences being composed of the nobility, professional 
 men, learned divines, and citizens of less distinguished but 
 respectable and intellectual character. The applause I re- 
 ceived, and the general interest I produced, iacreased wonder- 
 fully. Soon I became the magnet of attraction, and the dread 
 of the superstitious ; for while there were some who patron- 
 ized and appreciated my dexterity, there were many others 
 who credited me with every species of necromancy, and 
 alleged that" my feats_were evidences of a wizard's skUl, and 
 legions of spirits were at my command, to stalk the earth 
 with hideous forms, and tantalize poor humanity with their 
 malicious freaks and incantations. These, and similar inven- 
 tions of the most ridiculous nature, were promulgated and 
 believed by a large- class. Scotland ranks far above all other 
 countries in the magnitude of her legendary traditions. 
 Every mountain-dale, town, and district are, in more or less 
 degree, distinguished for some remarkable or wonderful 
 event, and her people have always been interested in the 
 associations connected with the spectral and supernatural. It 
 may be truly said their faith in demonology was great. For 
 weeks the hall continued crowded, and the constant change 
 of entertainment I produced, assured those whose minds 
 were impressed with the potency of my art, that I was 
 unquestionably a wandering genii. 
 
 The Bottled Janitor. 
 The janitor of the room greatly annoyed me by his dis- 
 agreeable character, and, on every occasion possible, incon- 
 venienced me by disturbing my apparatus and disarranging 
 it to the utmost degree. He seemed to be governed by 
 the idea that I was an operator in the " bla9k art," and pos- 
 sessed the power of caUing evil spirits to my assistance, 
 and was folly in league with the devil. One day, being 
 
TME TALKING BORSE. 83 
 
 tmusually provoked at his interference, I requested him to 
 refrain in future from disarranging my machinery, other- 
 wise I should be under the necessity of bewitching him, at 
 which he appeared terrified. 
 
 Perceiving the effect I had produced, I was determined 
 to make it successful. I hastily seized an empty porter 
 bottle, and elevating it, threatened to place him inside, and 
 cork him up. I had no sooner declared my intention than 
 he made a rapid retreat to the door, and ran with speed to 
 the agent of the building, and with a troubled look, and 
 frightened manner, stated that I intended to bottle him up. 
 The agent — a worthy, amiable gentleman, and something 
 of a wag — was well acquainted with his propensities, and 
 being anxious to aid me in my efforts to prevent his inter- 
 fering with my apparatus, replied: 
 
 "Well, man, if the signor said so, he will most certainly 
 _ do it." 
 
 This so alarmed the janitor, that he hurried away, and 
 no persuasion could induce him to attend the room during 
 the remainder of my stay. 
 
 Several laughable events of a like character took place 
 whilst I remained here, among which was the following : 
 
 The Talking Horse. 
 
 One morning I accompanied a friend to a livery stable, 
 for the purpose of purchasing a horse. After examining 
 several, he inquired the price of one he concluded would suit. 
 
 " Twenty-five pounds," answered the owner. 
 
 " Too much," said the gentleman. 
 
 " ISTo, he is a bargain — only nine years old," replied the 
 stable-keeper. 
 
 " Don't cheat the gentleman, Davison," seemingly spoke 
 the horse, in a sonorous tone, at the game instant shaking 
 his mane. 
 
84 VISIT TO MT BIRTHPLACE. 
 
 The man looked around, supposing a fourth person was 
 present. Perceiving his mistake, he commenced praising 
 the animal in glowing terms, when he was again interrupted, 
 seemingly by the horse saying — 
 
 " You have uttered more lies than I have eaten oats for 
 a week." 
 
 "Who dares contradict my word ? " cried the proprietor, 
 in an excited manner, again turning his head to ascertain 
 who was speaking. 
 
 "It is me," said the horse; "and you well know I am 
 twenty years old, and blind of an eye." 
 
 Here the man became enraged, and was about to act bru- 
 tally toward the beast, when I decided to interfere and unfold 
 the deception. The announcement puzzled him beyond 
 belief, and he laughed so heartily that it was many minutes 
 before he could cakn himself. My friend secured the ani- 
 mal, who was ever after celebrated as the talking horse. 
 
 After visiting many other places of note and interest, 
 I desired to, return to my native land, and pass a few days 
 with my father. 
 
 I hastened to England, and having pleasantly settled 
 my family in Manchester, in company with Gabriel I started 
 for the village of my birth, where we arrived safely. 
 
 The surprise and pleasure that all experienced after an 
 absence of nine years, the imagination of the reader can 
 readily estimate. 
 
 During the few weeks I remained, I occupied myself in 
 visiting every spot dear to memory. Time had made its 
 changes. The mountains, hiUs, and rivulets were there, it 
 is true ; but the former appeared less highy and the latter 
 less deep and inviting. Old people had become more 
 aged, the young grown to manhood, and many of both 
 sexes had passed away; and, above all, the forip. of my 
 dear mother was absepit, which rendered the scene naore 
 
AN INCIDENT WITS A CLERGYMAN. 85 
 
 tnelancholy to my feelings ; yet, for the sake of my sirrviv- 
 tng parent, I exldbited a elieerfulness I did not feel. The 
 day at last arrived for taking leave, perhaps forever, of my 
 tather. Every arrangement for his future comfort was made, 
 and I took my departure. Words cannot express the char- 
 acter or grief of the separation — ^the heart only knows its 
 own bitterness. I reached Manchester alone— for Gabriel 
 remained to settle some personal matters — and found my 
 family anxiously awaiting me. 
 
 WLanchestei^. 
 
 In a few days I appeared before the " Cotton Kings." 
 As in all other places, I was received as one of the wonders 
 of the age ; and, as my name and fame in necromancy had 
 preceded me, the curiosity of the people was awakened, and 
 in the family circle, as well as in public, my tricks and 
 performances were the absorbing topic. The people were 
 so amazed and delighted, that I was astonished at my 
 success. 
 
 A Clergyman in Trouble. 
 
 One morning a clergyman called upon me. After seat- 
 ing himself, he proceeded to communicate the object of his 
 visit by addressing me in the following manner : 
 
 " Signor Blitz, I am a minister of the Gospel in this 
 city, and I have solicited this interview to remonstrate with 
 you upon the impropriety and error of your ways. You are 
 leading thousands of poor sinners to Satan." 
 
 My reply was not violent, neither did I betray anger; 
 but, in a quiet tone, I requested him to explain more ex- 
 plicitly the nature and character of my evil doings. 
 
 He answered : " You are a necromancer — at war with 
 religion and morality; yoiir feats are destructive and antag- 
 onistic to righteoijsness," 
 
TBE SILVER SNUFF-BOX. 
 
 I inquired by what means I could support myself and 
 family, in case I abandoned my profession, as I was totally 
 unacquaiated with any other pursuit. He slowly arose, and 
 directing his hand toward my apparatus, which was distri- 
 buted on several tables, replied iu an animated tone, — 
 
 "Throw away that trumpery, Signor Blitz, and turn 
 from wickedness to righteousness, for blessed are the 
 good." 
 
 I answered that he was mistaken in regard to the sinfbl 
 tendency of my art; that I was no evil spirit iu form or 
 principle ; and, furthermore, my exhibitions were of a nature 
 calculated to remove the long-prevailing impressions at- 
 tached to the history of magic, by demonstrating to the 
 mind that the rapidity of the hand, and the mechanical in- 
 ventions of the nineteenth century, were more wonderftil 
 ia effect than the mysteries of the ancient magicians ; but, 
 apart from this explanation, I wonld cheerfolly listen to any 
 advice he had to offer. 
 
 " Preach the Gospel, Signor Blitz, and live for heaven," 
 said he. 
 
 Perceiving it was out of the question to convince him 
 of the morality and propriety of my vocation, I determined 
 to change my tactics, and exercise my craft by punishiag 
 the reverend gentleman for his unwarrantable assurance. 
 Under the pretence, therefore, of regulating some machinery, 
 I lifted a silver snnff-box containing rappee, which I, un- 
 perceived, slipped into the pocket of his coat. After 
 a little time I requested hiTn to excuse my terminat- 
 ing the discussion, as I expected some gentlemen by ap 
 pointment, and I had some preparations to make before they 
 arrived. He turned to take his leave, requestiog to meet 
 me the next day at eleven o'clock. No sooner had he 
 reached the door, than I recalled him, and demanded the 
 immediate return of my silver box. 
 
" STOF tbief! stop thief!" 87 
 
 "I do not understand you, sir. I have no box," he 
 replied. 
 
 "I understand you perfectly well, sir. Ton came here 
 under the plea of preaching the Gospel, and stole my snuff- 
 box." 
 
 He earnestly declared that I accused him falsely, for, on 
 the sacred honor of a clergyman, he had no silver box, 
 and, moreover, he never took snuff. 
 
 I said " such mighjj, be the case, but it was evident he 
 had taken a sniiff from my box, and by searching his coat 
 I should learn the truth of my charge." 
 
 He immediately placed his hand in his pocket, and, dis- 
 covering the box, his ruddy countenance assumed a pale hue, 
 and every feature was convulsed and agitated; the very 
 hair of his head appeared to leap with fear as he exclaimed — 
 
 "It is incomprehensible ! " 
 
 I reminded him that as the box was surely found in his 
 possession, it was my duty to deliver him in charge of an 
 officer, to be committed for theft. He now became quite 
 excited, and withdrew toward the door, stiU persisting in 
 his honesty. I followed him, and, notwithstanding there 
 were more than a dozen steps to descend, he made two 
 jumps and landed on the first floor, during which I cried, 
 "Stop thief! " to the utmost capacity of my lungs. 
 
 Many of my readers may construe the treatment I pre- 
 scribed as unnecessarily severe; but, on reflection, this will 
 appear less harsh, and infinitely more judicious, than insult- 
 ing him by loud and angry words or more vigorous treat- 
 ment. It is sufficient to say that the reverend gentleman 
 did not present himself on the following day at the time 
 appointed. 
 
 Manchester was, at this period, a very large commercial 
 and manufecturing town, and every person seemed to be en- 
 gaged in some mercantile or mechanical pursuit. As in all 
 
88 I ORDER A PAIR OF BOOTS. 
 
 large cities, there were many very rieli persons, and a mucli 
 larger number of persons miserably poor and distressed. 
 Several of tbese cases of poverty and suffering came under 
 my personal observation, one of which, wherein I was deeply 
 interested, I will relate: 
 
 Wow A Poll-Parrot Paid the Rent. 
 
 One day my attention was directed to a shop of rather 
 humble appearance, from the circumstance of seeing the 
 owner of it always sitting at his work, and a group of pretty, 
 happy children playing about the floor, who, from the 
 dark color of their dresses, were evidently motherlesc. I 
 discovered from the sign over the door that the poor trades- 
 man was named John Penny, and that he exercised the art 
 and craft of boot and shoe making. He was taU and thin, 
 with a rude visage, and long hair, combed straight down 
 his cheeks ; his countenance was thoughtftd, not to say seri- 
 ous, but there was an air of meek resignation about him 
 very touching; and having a wife and family of my own, I 
 gazed on the thoughtless children, and could not help 
 thinking of my " ain Mary, and the wee bit bairns I left at 
 hame." I found it impossible to resist giving poor Penny a 
 turn, and to improve my "understandings" at the same 
 time, by ordering a pair of boots. The humble tradesman, 
 who was, as usual, at his work, gratefolly acknowledged the 
 order, but in answer to the very natural question — ^when I 
 could have the boots, rephed, with a deep sigh, that he did 
 not exactly know ; the order would be executed as soon as 
 possible. From my knowledge of the world,. I thought 
 perhaps the poor fellow had not the means to purchase 
 the materials, as there was a sad blank air of poverty about 
 the shop. 
 
 "I will leave you half a sovereign as a deposit, only 
 have them done as soon as possible," said I. 
 
TSE SON OF ST. CRISPIN. 89 
 
 To my surprise John Penny refased to take my advance. 
 
 " It will be time to pay when you get the boots," said 
 he, significantly. 
 
 I was perplexed, and looked earnestly at the son of St. 
 Crispin, whose countenance was more thoughtful, and his 
 look more sorrowful than ordinarily. 
 
 " Don't think me impertinent," I said, "but is anything 
 the matter; you seem unhappy." 
 
 "No, nothing in particular." 
 
 " Nay, nay, I'm convinced there is," I replied, my sym- 
 pathy beginning to be much awakened; "come, teU me 
 what it is." 
 
 "Well, sir, you are pressing," returned Penny, sighing 
 deeply ; " I will confess there is — ^my rent. I was one of 
 the congregation of the Kev. IVfr. Tramp, the minister of 
 our local chapel. I am some back in my rent." 
 
 "You don't mean you were one of the MiQerites?" I 
 remarked, scarcely able to conceal a smile. 
 
 " I confess that I was," replied Penny. " I stood high 
 in favor with that singularly pious man. AH his congrega- 
 tion dealt with me for boots and shoes ; I thought I had 
 received a special call to furnish the jumpers with uppers 
 and soles ; but, alas ! one fine morning the holy- man was 
 trcmslated (so his followers called it), for he was nowhere 
 to be found. This sad defalcation caused me to go back, 
 and I could not meet my payments." 
 
 " Why, how much do you owe ? " I inquired. 
 
 " I am now nearly three quarters in arrears ; it will soon 
 be upward of thirty pounds." 
 
 " Who is your landlord ?" 
 
 " Why, Squire Summer." 
 
 "What, of the Legion MiUs?" 
 
 "Yes." , 
 
 "Why, he is one of the cotton lords, and very wealthy; 
 
90 STSUOGLMS OF A POOR MAN. 
 
 now, if I was to become your surety, would he give you 
 time?" 
 
 " He tas been very patient ; I cannot complain of him ; 
 but he is a man of business — a man of money. Never 
 having known want himself, he cannot conceive it to spring 
 from any cause than improvidence, and therefore has little 
 sympathy for me. The last time he was here he said he 
 shoiid call once more, and then, if the money was not forth- 
 coming, the law must take its course. I expected him yes- 
 terday, and — " 
 
 "Eh, mercy, man! what's the matter with you?" I 
 said. " You tremble." 
 
 " Tes, I see he is coming ; he has that fellow Broadman, 
 the broker, with him." 
 
 I looked out and saw, indeed, the squire, his footman, 
 and a very shabby, suspicious-looking man, apparently an 
 employee of the broker. I had scarcely time to cast a rapid 
 glance around the BcantUy-fumished shop, and call my 
 thoughts together, ere the party were at the door, and had 
 entered. 
 
 "Let them come," cried Penny, with an air of despairing 
 resignation. " I have struggled. Heaven knows, as long as 
 I was able, and can do no more." 
 
 " Well, Mr. Penny," observed the squire, leisurely ad- 
 vancing to the counter, " you know of course the cause of 
 my visit?" 
 
 Here a huge, staring poU-parrot, sitting in its cage, which 
 formed one of the few articles of furniture in the shop, began 
 to whistle " Call again to-morrow ! " to the astonishment 
 of all present, excepting myself, which she followed by, " I 
 know a bank." The squire, however, resumed : 
 
 " You are of course provided, Mr. Penny ? " 
 
 " Alas ! no, sir," said the poor tradesman ; " it is useless 
 to deceive you any further. I cannot pay you at this mo- 
 
BBOABMAN, THE BROKER. 91 
 
 ment, nor do I know how soon I can ; take my little prop- 
 erty ; let it pay so far as it will ; I will do the best I can. 
 Providence wiU not forsake me." 
 
 "What's the time?" interrupted the parrot; "poUy 
 wants her breakfast." 
 
 The children, who had by this time stolen silently in, 
 anxious to know what was going on, were as much surprised 
 as their father at poUy's sudden loquacity ; their little round 
 eyes dilated with wonder and twinkled with delight ; but the 
 awful presence of the great man somewhat repressed them. 
 
 " "Well," continued the prudent man of cotton, after a 
 short pause, '" if that's the case, I may as well have the things 
 as anybody else. John Broadman, you will do what is 
 necessary." 
 
 "PoUy! polly! polly!" here exclaimed poll. 
 
 " That's a fine bird," remarked the squire, his attention 
 being attracted to it. 
 
 "I must leave a man in possession," said the broker; 
 "but before I go, I may as well make out the inventory, for 
 I suppose there is no chance of matters being settled with- 
 out a sale, Mr. Penny?" 
 
 "I^one whatever." 
 
 "Then PU proceed to my work at once. Item one, 
 Dutch clock." 
 
 "What's o'clock? what's o'clock? PoUy wants her 
 breakfast," said the bird. 
 
 Poor Penny looked stupefied; the children, who had 
 been regarding the scene, as I have said, half with curiosity, 
 and half with fear, could not help clapping their hands at 
 poll's way of talking ; but a look from their father restrained 
 them. Broadman continued : 
 
 " One high desk and counter ; one chair ; one shoemak- 
 er's bench and tools j three chairs ; two tin candlesticks ; 
 six boot-trees — " 
 
92 THE PABBOT AMUSES THE SQUIRE. 
 
 " Woodman, spare that tree," sang poUy. 
 
 "Clever bird, ttat," said the squire. "You put the 
 parrot down, I suppose, Mr. Broadman?" 
 
 " Oh, no, we never mention her," sang the parrot, twist- 
 ing her head very knowingly. 
 
 "Answers quite like a Christian, and seems to under- 
 stand everything," said the squire. 
 
 "What's o'clock?" cried Poll. 
 
 "Wonderful, upon my honor," ejaculated the squire. 
 " Now I think of it," said he, " my daughter Cecilia has 
 been worrying my life out the last six months to get her 
 such a bird as this ; one that can talk, sing, and whistle. 
 I'll teU you what I'll do, Penny : I don't want to be hard 
 upon you ; let me have the parrot, and give me a note of 
 hand for ten pounds balance, and I'U withdraw the distress, 
 and give a receipt for fifteen pounds." 
 
 "Don't you wish you may get it," saucily chattered 
 poll, as if she understood what the landlord was talking 
 about. 
 
 " Such a Bird as that is worth more money," I observed. 
 " I'll give that much myself." 
 
 " Whistle and I'll come to thee, my lad," whistled poll. 
 
 " Wonderfiil ! " said the squire. " I must have that bird ; 
 I'll take it as payment for the rent in full. Penny, will that 
 suit you ? " 
 
 Poor Penny seemed thunderstruck ; he hesitated as if 
 he had some compunction. The squire observed it, and 
 quickly said : 
 
 " That's not enough ? Well, then, I'll make it twenty 
 pounds. Here's a receipt for the rent, and there's five sov- 
 ereigns — wiU that do for yon ? Broadman, withdraw your 
 man." 
 
 " You don't lodge here, Mr. Ferguson, with your nine- 
 pence," added poUy. 
 
POOR PENNY TSUNDBRSTRUCK. 93 
 
 The squire was deliglited ; I thouglit the arrangement 
 honorable to all parties, and poor Penny, apparently un- 
 willing, delivered the bird to the squire. 
 
 " Good-by, poll," cried all the children. 
 
 " Good-by ! ' My native land, good night ! ' " sang poll, 
 appearing very grave, and turning her head first on one side 
 and then on the other, placing herself in her swing and 
 violently rocking backward and forward, seeming to give 
 the signal for her departure. 
 
 As soon as the shop was fairly clear of the squire's 
 party. Penny turned to me, and with an air of perplexity, 
 begged I would look in the following morning, when, he 
 would have some skins from which I could choose the 
 leather for my boots, for, just at that moment, he felt quite 
 bewildered. 
 
 Highly delighted that John Penny had got so well 
 through his difficulties, I did not intrude, but considerately 
 took my leave. I was, however, a punctual visitor at John's 
 the following morning, and found the honest cordwainer had 
 laid out the five pounds he received over and above his rent 
 the preceding afternoon to the very best advantage. He had 
 stocked his shop with a good supply of leather and other arti- 
 cles necessary for his trade, and now only wanted customers. 
 
 "While I was selectiog the material for my boots, the 
 squire suddenly made his appearance, followed by his foot- 
 manj bearing poU. 
 
 "Well, Mr. Penny," said the great cotton lord, "we 
 have brought back your parrot, and it is very extraordinary 
 tliat it has never spoken a single word since I took it away, 
 —never sung a single soUg, nor whistled a single tune ; 
 it has done nothing but squeak, squeak, and scream, tiU my 
 head has been ready to burst; in fact, without any wish to 
 offend you, she is a perfect nuisance. Return me the five 
 pounds I paid you, and I'll forfeit the rent."' 
 
94 POLL WON'T TALK. 
 
 " I am sorry to say," said the conscientious John Penny, 
 " that I have laid out the five pounds ;. but, however, as the 
 bird don't suit you, if you will take my note of hand for 
 the five pounds — " 
 
 "Why, stay! stay!" I said. "Parrots very seldom 
 talk ia a strange place at first. Put poll in her usual place, 
 and then see." * 
 
 The cage was accordingly restored to its former place, 
 when, to the utter astonishment of all present, poU imme- 
 diately began to sing — " Home, sweet home ; be it ever so 
 humble, there is no place like home." 
 
 " Well, I declare ! " said the squire, lifting up his hands, 
 " this is wonderful ; but Pve heard of such things before. 
 What a sensible, intelligent creature she is ! I must give 
 her another trial. Take her back, John." 
 
 "PU gang nae mair to yon town," whistled poll; but, 
 however, to no effect, for she was borne off, crying, "What's 
 o'clock? what's o'clock?" 
 
 " Tou appear to be surprised at my amazement, sir," 
 said honest John Penny, when the party was out of sight, 
 " but wUl not be so long, when I teU you that until yester- 
 day, I never heard that bird utter a single syllable. As Mr . 
 Sumner has said, she had never done anything but squeal 
 and scream, disturbing the whole neighborhood ; but ' they 
 got used to it at last, although they threatened at first to 
 break my windows and wring her neck. It was a long 
 time before I could get to like it myself; but use reconciles 
 us to anything, and I thiak now I shall miss her, disagree- 
 able as she was." 
 
 I called again the next morning, and while there, who 
 should appear but Squire Sumner, accompanied, as' on the 
 previous day, by his man, with poll. , 
 
 " Bless me, sir ! " said Penny ; " is it you ? " 
 
 "Yes, Mr. Penny, I have come again," returned the 
 
TSE RENT IS PAID. 95 
 
 sqtiire, " with this diabolical bird, for not a moment's peace 
 have we had." 
 
 "What! do you find her too talkative, sir?" inquired 
 the shoemaker, with great simplicity. 
 
 " Talk too much ! Why, the obstinate brute — confound 
 her— she has never talked at all ! Put her in her old place 
 again, John." 
 
 " Don't I look spruce on my noddy ? " whistled poll. 
 
 "You have found your tongue, have you?" said the 
 squire; " but I am not to be done a third time. Keep your 
 bird, Mr. Penny ; I wish you joy of her." 
 
 "But I have spent the money you gave me for her," 
 said honest John, " and I don't know when I shall be able 
 to pay it back agaiu." 
 
 " Oh ! never mind the money ; only release me from such 
 a ,torment as this, and I'll put up with the loss the best way 
 I can." 
 
 Poor John was somewhat reluctantly prevailed upon to 
 take back the bird, and as soon as the squire had departed, 
 and was fairly out of hearing, said, "It's an ill wind that 
 blows nobody any good. Had I not been seized for my 
 rent, my parrot might never ha/oe spoken." 
 
 I could not refrain from having a good laugh, as I dis- 
 closed the secret to Penny, and explaiued to him how I, as 
 a ventriloquist, had talked and whistled instead of the bird, 
 and, as it appeared, to a veiy good purpose. 
 
 " I see it all," said John. " May God bless ypu ! " 
 
 An Aerial Voyage. 
 
 My nature from childh'ood had always sympathized with 
 the spirit of adventure, and love of romantic truth. The 
 history of travellers, on sea or land, deeply interested me, 
 especially if connected with peril and dangers. I had long 
 wished to ascend the heavenly dome and behold its magni- 
 
96 PANORAMIC VIEW. 
 
 tude, unknown or invisible to the natural world, and wander 
 in the midst of its ethereal beauties. 
 
 The opportunity of gratifying my desire presented itself, 
 when exhibiting at Kidderminster, a town in Worcestershire, 
 noted for its great carpet factories. Here, in company with 
 Mx. Green, the celebrated aeronaut, and a companion, I 
 took an aerial voyage. 
 
 It was the closing day of summer, at the hour of four, 
 P.M., accompanied by the cheers of a vast concourse of peo- 
 ple, that we ascended toward the broad canopy of that in- 
 finite and unknown space, so incomprehensible to the un- 
 derstanding. The sun, though declining toward its western 
 home, was resplendent with beauty and glory, its rays illu- 
 minating the whole horizon with golden tints of soft and 
 mellow light. The view, far and near, was a natural and 
 beautiful picture. The mountains and rivers, the villages 
 and towns, the green fields, the streams in their winding 
 course, all gave a rich harmony to the scene, and indelibly 
 impressed the mind with the mightiness of the Great Om- 
 nipotent. I have not the descriptive powers to portray in 
 a graphic manner the panoramic view. My feelings were 
 varied, mingled with awe and solemnity, especially as we 
 receded from earth and its familiar objects, and beheld their 
 pigmy aspect. 
 
 As the balloon gracefully floated away into spheres un- 
 known, this prospect, so lovely and sublime, ultimately 
 faded into obscurity. With what impulsive thoughts and 
 inspirations I gazed on the fleecy clouds, as we pierced 
 their ethereal vapor, under the pilotage of Mi-. Green, whose 
 pleasant and communicative disposition aided much to re- 
 lieve apprehension and strengthen our confidence as the 
 frail bark rose majestically and buoyantly through masses of 
 mist, and the most variable elements and temperature, creat- 
 ing imaginary presentments of the "most unavoidable and 
 
WE MAKE A SAFE LANDINS. 97 
 
 gravest sensations. Upward and onward we continued our 
 journey, directing our course to all points of the compass, 
 occasionally ascending through clouds so dense, we were im- 
 perceptible to each other, passing with rapidity from thick 
 and gloomy atmospheres to those of pure, transparent Hght. 
 
 After an hour of unbroken and sightless travel, we com- 
 menced our return to "mother earth," the first glimpse 
 of which gladdened me exceedingly, and the nearer we ap- 
 proached, the more magnificent the landscape appeared. 
 
 The sun had considerably fallen, spreading his broad 
 beams of amber brightness over tree-tops and hill-sides, and 
 the rivers and brooks were especially lovely in their Teflec- 
 tions. We ultimately landed in a fruit orchard, the pro- 
 prietor of which was a gentleman farmer, and, as a singular 
 incident, was celebratiug the fifteenth anniversary of his 
 wedding-day. A large party was assembled, and at the time 
 of our sudden descent, were in the midst of their mun- 
 dane pleasures, drinking the choicest wine to the health of 
 their host and hostess. We were congratulated on the safe 
 ending of our perilous journey, and welcomed with great 
 hospitality. After a pleasant interview with the gentleman 
 and his guests, during which we were regaled with delicious 
 refreshments, we returned, in a carriage drawn by four 
 horses, to Kidderminster, a distance of twelve nules, which 
 place we reached after an hour of rapid driving. When we 
 had paraded through crowded streets, we alighted at the 
 town hall, where I was welcomed by a large audience, be- 
 fore whom I gave my usual entertainment, with a descrip- 
 tion of our aerial voyage. 
 
 J M.EET A Friend. 
 Some years subsequent to this event, I was performing 
 in the city of Worcester, the oapital of the county, and one 
 day was invited to dine with the governor of the prison, 
 5 
 
98 THE' FREAKS OF FORTUNE. 
 
 who was a person of position and large income. When I 
 entered the jail, and was passing to the family apartments, 
 I was suddenly accosted by a Toice from behind an iron 
 grating, calling me by name. 
 
 " Ah ! Signor Blitz ! how are you ; do you not remem- 
 ber me ? " 
 
 " 'Eo," I repKed , " I have not the pleasure of recollect- 
 ing your countenance." 
 
 ""Why, Signor, when we met before, it was under more 
 agreeable circumstances." 
 
 " Ah, sir, pray where was that ? What is your name ? " 
 
 " Tou landed in a balloon, Signor, in my orchard, while 
 I was celebrating the return of my wedding-day. I was a 
 rich man at that time, but reverses of fortune have brought 
 me here." 
 
 " It pains me to hear it. How did it occur, sir ? " 
 
 " By indorsing for friends. I lost all I possessed, and 
 am now here, an insolvent debtor." 
 
 This little episode destroyed the pleasure of my visit, as 
 well as my appetite for dinner, for it recalled to mind the 
 former affluence of this gentleman, and led me to reflect 
 upon the mutability of aU things in life. 
 
 Another incident, singular in its character, conneeted 
 with the balloon, which may amuse my readers, I will re- 
 late: 
 
 Personal Jokes. 
 
 I -dined at the house of Mr. Cartwright, at Stoke, in 
 Stafibrdshire, where I met several distinguished gentlemen. 
 After dinner I was solicited to exhibit some specimens of 
 my art. One of the company, the Kev. Mr. Vale, of the 
 Episcopal Church ui that neighborhood, seemed very much 
 amused, and inquired to what locality I expected to be as- 
 signed in the next world. 
 
INCIDENT AT A DINNER PARTY. 99 
 
 " To heaven," I responded. 
 
 " Oh ! no, I fear not, after witnessing your magic 
 power." 
 
 I again asserted that I felt convinced I should finally 
 reach that spot, as I had already travelled farther in that 
 direction than any gentleman present probably ever would. 
 The whole party here exclaimed — 
 
 "No, Signor; oh! no. Signer!" 
 
 " Yes," I replied, " it is so, I am very sure ; for I have 
 been in a balloon for miles above the earth." 
 
 " So has Mr. Vale ! " they all proclaimed, with much 
 merriment. 
 
 " Is that so ?" I asked, addressiug Mr. Vale. 
 
 " Perfectly true, Signor ; and when I crossed the river 
 Severn, I could see myself reflected as in a mirror, so power- 
 fiil was the sun!" 
 
 " Oh ! that is nothing, Mr. Vale, to my experience, for 
 we approached so near the sun, that it scorched my hair! " 
 
 This relation of mine produced roars of laughter, and 
 entitled me to the honor of having reached nearest the 
 all-desired haven. Mr. Vale was a highly cidtivated gen- 
 tleman, of great learning and force of character, and has 
 since become a distinguished light of the Church. His 
 parishioners, at the time he made his excm'sion in the bal- 
 loon, contributed the necessary means to pay the expenses, 
 and the following Sunday he delivered a beautiful and scien- 
 tific discourse upon the heavenly bodies, and their insepa- 
 rable identity with the wisdom and power of God. 
 
CHAPTEE XI. 
 
 VEET pechliak people. 
 
 HAT liberality, as a general rule, pro- 
 duces its legitimate effects and influen- 
 ces, cannot be questioned. Tbe greater 
 number of good actions we perform, 
 and tbe more we sympathize with the 
 sorrows, trials, and afflictions of our fel- 
 low-men, the more enlarged will be our happi- 
 ness and reward. Kindness is a balm, and at 
 times it is infinitely more precious than gold. 
 
 i 11111 mi These observations have been provoked by 
 
 jlilT the following incidents, which, though they may 
 not interest my readers, will yet enable them 
 to distinguish good sense and wisdom from the 
 Pharisaical disciplinarian. 
 
 My eldest son was bom in Newcastle-upon-Tyne, and 
 shortly, after was christened in St. Andrew's Church, of 
 that city, which was kindly opened for that purpose. At 
 the conclusion of the ceremony, I repaired to the vestry to 
 register the event, at the conclusion of which I shook hands 
 with the rector, at the same time passing him an English 
 sovereign. 
 
 "What's this, Signor?" he inquired, as he unrolled the 
 paper containing it. " Here, take back your gold, Signor, 
 and send me half a dozen tickets." 
 
 This liberal pastor made a deep impression upon my 
 
THE TWO PICTURES. 101 
 
 mind, and he evidently wotdd have made me a better man, 
 from his unprejudiced construction and patronage of my 
 professional life. 
 
 The Opposite Pictui^. 
 
 My second son's birth took place at Exeter, and he was 
 christened at St. SidweU's Chm-ch. 
 
 The officiating clergyman was of a different disposition 
 from the former, less tolerant, more bigoted and dictatorial. 
 He descanted upon the generosity of the age in permitting 
 the child of a necromancer to be received into the sanctuary 
 of God ; that in times past the dogmas of the Church did 
 not acquiesce in the spirit, but viewed with doubtful charac- 
 ter the presence of all those whose professional antecedents 
 were considered at variance with religion and morals, and 
 for some time continued in this strain; notwithstanding 
 which he did not reftise the customary fee, preferring the 
 magician's gold to his tickets ! 
 
 Individual Oddities. 
 
 The oddities of the hiunan race are proverbial. The 
 whole world is noted for them. In every path of life and 
 society they are visible. The good and bad, old and young, 
 rich and poor, all betray a singularity of thought and ac- 
 tion, or some equivalent to its claim, which attracts atten- 
 tion ; but this aptitude not unfrequently develops a sordid 
 caprice, an omen of a faulty spirit, ever prepared to declaim 
 upon individuality and its eccentricities; truly forgetting 
 how prominentiy their own oddities are exhibited to those 
 whom they specify as "peculiar." 
 
 Society is comprised of odd people, in dress, movements, 
 appearances, amusements, and the generalities which give 
 notability; and I know of none more so than the fol- 
 lowing: 
 
102 TKE IRISH DBAOOONS. 
 
 A Wig Regiment. 
 
 During my perambulations, I met, on several occasions, 
 the 4tK Irish Dragoons. The officers were gentlemen of 
 independent means, and much given to pleasure and di- 
 version. 
 
 There was a social freedom ia their general deportment, 
 imusual and remarkable for their position, which procured 
 in return respect and popularity. Several of them were ad- 
 mirable amateur magicians, extravagantly devoted to the 
 art, their proficiency never failing to produce enjoyment and 
 effect, and as I had frequently been their instructor, my per- 
 sonal relations with them were of a most cordial nature, not 
 subject to any special rule of etiquette, so usual in the Eng- 
 lish army. 
 
 The colonel who commanded was a Scotchman, a strict 
 disciplinarian in all military matters, a constructionist in the 
 extreme ; but when not occupied with military duties, was 
 greatly disposed to mirth in all its varieties. His nature ■ 
 betrayed all the Mndred characteristics of his nation, being 
 intelligent, of good judgment, and with a^ courteous de- 
 meanor. From my first acquaintance with the officers, the 
 peculiarities of their hair amazed me not a little. To-day, 
 one had a beautiful brown hair, another was remarkable for 
 its blackness, a third, for its lighter shade ; but on the fol- 
 lowing day the colors of each head would be so metamor- 
 phosed that I could scarcely satisfy myself respecting the 
 identity of the persons. I reasoned whether it was on my 
 part a fantasy — an imaginary speculation — or one of those 
 optical illusions the eye is susceptible of. Day after day 
 these phenomena continued : he of the black head yester- 
 dry, was brown to-day ; and the one of the brown, became 
 black, while the lighter shade had also changed. All my 
 endeavors to discover by what skill or process they accom- 
 
. AN ORIGINAL FEAT. 103 
 
 plished the novelty of their appearance were fruitless. There 
 were no visible indications that these displays were false, 
 neither was the chameleon mystery confined to any given 
 number, for every officer connected with the regiment en- 
 joyed the wonderful facility of transforming the hair of his 
 head at option. The whole circumstance was an enigma, 
 the solution of which woidd never, perhaps, have been ex- 
 plained, but for the following incident : 
 
 A party was given in the mess-room at the barracks. 
 The company was limited in number, but a memorable one 
 for its admirable humor, spirit, and cultivated conversation ; 
 each contributing to its hilarity, which, of course, I par- 
 ticipated in. 
 
 I gave numerous illustrations in magic and ventrilo- 
 quism, and the colonel expressed a desire that the officers 
 would unite and astonish me with a particular feat, original, 
 and known only to themselves. There was a ready, and al- 
 most studied acquiescence to the invitation. 
 
 They aU. arose and bowed. I was requested to turn my 
 head, and, at a given signal, face the assembly agaiu ; I did 
 so, and beheld the most grotesque sight "I ever witnessed. 
 Imagine the droll appearance of twenty gentlemen attired in 
 military dress, of various years and proportions, with heads 
 perfectly — ^bald 1 without a vestige or evidence of their ever 
 having been graced with that ornamental appendage — ^hair. 
 I more than laughed : I was convulsed. It was a comical 
 combination — a barbarous picture of invention, one that I 
 never had encountered before ! 
 
 I gazed upon the whimsical and extraordinary scene, 
 imtil my risabilities were provoked beyond control. 
 
 I was again desired to turn from them, and then renew 
 my observation, when lo 1 they were again decorated with 
 handsome heads of hair, which, while it amused and aston- 
 ished me, revealed the great secret that had so much per- 
 
104 THM MABQXJIS OF STAFFORD. 
 
 plexed my imagination in regard to tlie colors of these re- 
 markable heads ! 
 
 " Is not this equal to any of your wizard tricks, Signer? " 
 inquired the colonel. 
 
 " Yes, sir, quite so ; completely ahead of me." 
 The affair was a rich and excitable exhibition of oddity 
 on the part of the officers, the object of which being a mere 
 notional freak, for the love of variety and creating a sensa- 
 tion, had induced them to the YandaUsm of having their 
 heads shaved, in order to appear as they best wished, adorned 
 in different manufactured hair; and ever after I never failed, 
 when relating the anecdote, to term her Majesty's 4th Dra- 
 goons the " Wig Kegiment" — ^an appellation they were so 
 meritoriously entitled to. 
 
 Picture of a Rich M.an. 
 
 At Newcastle, in the potteries, I received a special invi- 
 tation from the Marchioness of Stafford, to give a private 
 entertainment at Trentham HaU, a favorite country residence 
 of this distinguished fandly, where a numerous and fash- 
 ionable party of nobility were visiting. 
 
 The wealth of the Marquis was almost fabulous ; in every 
 part of England and the British dominions, or wherever 
 an Englishman was known to reside, his immense riches 
 were recognized and commented upon. I had frequently 
 listened to the stories that were circulated in regard to his 
 more than princely fortime with surprise ; and who would 
 not, on learning that one single man was in receipt of six 
 thousand dollars per day, or nearly four dollars and seven- 
 teen cents a minute, without any contingency. 
 
 My accepting the engagement had a twofold object — ^an 
 ambition to appear in the presence of society so noble, and 
 a pecuHar curiosity to behold (at that time) the richest man 
 in the world. Being but a youth, my faculties were greatly 
 
BEFORE THE NOBILITY. 105 
 
 exercised in regard to worldly possessions. I conclnded, in 
 my unsophisticiited opinion, that these very fortunate in- 
 heritor of untold means must be happiness personified, and 
 were totally exempt from sickness or grief; that pain, sor- 
 row, and affliction were unknown, and that the drapery of 
 mourning never entered their homes. 
 
 In accordance with previous arrangements, I proceeded to 
 the mansion in advance of the hour, and was received by the 
 marchioness with much grace and affability. The exhibi- 
 tion took place in the grand entrance-hall, which was very 
 spacious. A munber of large screens were drawn through 
 the centre, to within a short distance of my table. On one 
 side were seated the lords and ladies ; on the opposite, the 
 domestics of the establishment ; so that, while neither party 
 could be observed by the other, they all had ample oppor- 
 tunity of witnessing my performances. 
 
 When the nobility made their appearance, a more bril- 
 liant company of elegance and beauty never met my eyes. 
 Their dignified beaiing, with the gorgeous dresses and 
 sparkling jewels, produced the most pleasing effect. But 
 my attention was especially directed to the marquis, a plain, 
 quiet-looking gentleman of seventy years or more ; small in 
 statm-e, with a constitution so broken and feeble, that he 
 was quite imable either to take a seat at the commencement, 
 or leave it at the close, without assistance. He smiled gently, 
 while all others laughed heartily; he appeared surprised, 
 the rest bewildered ; they looked cheerM and happy, he 
 cabn and reflective. Having concluded, I received marked 
 approbation and congratulations from all ; but my vanity, 
 and the strange impressions aming from his presence, in- 
 duced me to inquire of the Marquis if I had afforded him 
 any amusement. He replied in a soft tone that he had en- 
 joyed the wonders I produced veiy much. " Tiey were 
 inexplicable, and very mysterious." For several minutes 
 
106 THE POOB SICH MAIf. 
 
 I was absorbed in thougbt, and with difficulty I could 
 realize tbe person before me to be the great millionaire, 
 who was so bent and helpless that, notwithstanding his 
 vast estates, he could not command or resist the current 
 course of N^ature's laws; that neither his gold nor silver 
 could prolong his life a single day or moment; but, 
 like the poor and humble, must yield his spirit to the 
 invisible Conqueror of man. These, and a thousand other 
 thoughts, rapidly occupied my mind, and so completely 
 changed my previous views as to the importance and true 
 appreciation of money, that I could not help comparing my 
 own favored condition with the important personage before 
 me. If I had not his titles and immense wealth, yet was I 
 blessed with health, and youth ; with a buoyancy and hope 
 of long life, and with talents and energy to provide for the 
 immediate necessities of my loved ones ; for God in His good- 
 ness had considered me deserving of those gifts, and I trusted 
 my return would merit His acceptance ; for he who seeks 
 Him in sunshine, will never fail to receive His love and care 
 in the hour of darkness.. 
 
 After partaking of refreshments, and having enjoyed a 
 pleasant conversation with most of the company, I left. 
 
 Among those present were the Duke of "Wellington; 
 Earl and Countess of Gower ; Earl and Countess of "Wil- 
 ton ; Lord Sandon, and many of the resident gentry. 
 
 The foUowiiig morning I received a handsome enclosure, 
 with the annexed letter: 
 
 "Teentham, August 10, 1831. 
 "I very willingly express the satisfaction the perform- 
 ance of Signor Blitz has given to the party who witnessed 
 here his superior dexterity and surprising ingenuity this 
 evening. His talent was agreed to excel any similar in- 
 stance witnessed by those present. " Statfokd." 
 
DUCHESS OF ST. ALBANS. 107 
 
 During my peiformanees in dieltenham, I was invited 
 by tlie Duchess of St. Albans to give a private exhibition 
 at her residence. 
 
 This lady was formerly "Miss MeUon," an actress of 
 celebrity and merit, who afterward became the wife of 
 Mr. Coutts, the eminent London banker, and subsequently 
 married the Duke of St. Albans. This union, it was said, 
 was eagerly courted on both sides— the one for title, the 
 other for money. 
 
 The company on this occasion comprised dukes, lords, 
 and ladies. My feats gave an agreeable satisfaction, and 
 provoked much merriment. One produced an astonishing 
 effect. I requested her G-race to draw a card from- a 
 pack, and, after destroying it, to retain (me piece, which she 
 complied with. The card she selected was, accidentally, a 
 king. The remaining pieces were placed in a box, when, 
 to the surprise of every one, it appeared completely repaired, 
 with the exception of the piece in the possession of the 
 duchess, which was the head, and on being compared with 
 the card, corresponded correctly. 
 
 Her Grace manifested her surprise by exclaiming to 
 the Duke of Gloucester, who sat by her side, " How singu- 
 lar, your Koyal Highness, that I should behead a king ! " 
 
 The duke looked grave, and asked "if it was ominous?" 
 
 " Hope not," she quickly replied. 
 
 This circumstance created the deepest feeling. Every 
 countenance betokened intensity of thought, and all eyes 
 looked prophetic. These feelings were influenced by the 
 events then transpiring. Charles the Tenth of France had 
 but recently abdicated his throne; Belgium had seceded 
 from Holland ; in fact, the whole of Europe was in a state 
 of revolution and alarm. Even in England, political discon- 
 tent and incendiary fires prevailed from one end of the 
 country to the other. Her Grace was a large, majestic- 
 
108 A BRILLIANT PERSONAGE. 
 
 looking lady, dressed in rich black velvet, with a stomacher, 
 and an immense necklace and earrings of diamonds ; also, 
 buttons of the same adorned her dress from throat to 
 hem. She wore a turban, which was Hterally covered with 
 brilliants. Her hands sparkled with like gems, and her 
 whole person was such a blaze of light, that it was painfal 
 to the eye ! She was affable and courteous iu her manner 
 toward me, and her general character liberal and kind. 
 
 I received the following letter, enclosing a valuable sou- 
 venir from the duchess : 
 
 " SuFroLK Lawk, Cheltenham, 
 
 " September 2, 1833. 
 " Signer Blitz has this evening performed his numerous 
 and very ingenious tricks of legerdemain before the Duke 
 and Duchess of St. Albans, and a numerous circle of friends, 
 and afforded them much amusement and astonishment. 
 
 " St. AuBAirs." 
 
CHAPTEE Xn. 
 
 ACROSS THE ATLAIITIO. 
 
 T farewell soirees were given at liver- 
 pool, a large commercial city, and the 
 principal seaport of Great Britain. The 
 natural advantages of the city were 
 many, which, combined with the liberal 
 spirit of the citizens, caused its rapid 
 improvement. 
 
 My exhibitions were successful, and engrossed general 
 attention ; but while all admired "the adroitness I displayed, 
 there were not a few who favored my being arrested for arts 
 of sorcery and unnatural feats. There was no limit to the 
 discussion as to my origin, and the actual character I as- 
 sumed, and by reason of the interest I had created, my suc- 
 cess was very satisfactory, and I continued for a long period 
 to enjoy the fruits of a briUiant engagement. 
 
 For many months I had entertained the idea of proceed- 
 ing to the United States; and as many Americans were 
 constantly arriving at this port, I had frequent opportunities 
 of conversing with them upon the subject, and in every in- 
 stance received the most flattering inducements to visit their 
 democratic and growing country. I consulted my wife, who 
 approved of the enterprise, and induced me to make aU 
 preparations for that purpose. 
 
 I wrote to Gabriel, urging him to join me in the under- 
 taking, and to my father I addressed an affectionate farewell, 
 
110 IN GOOD COMPANY. 
 
 ^ Gabriel replied that it was impossible for him to ac- 
 company me so great a distance. His health and business 
 affairs compelled him reluctantly to decline. My fether 
 betrayed great sorrow. 
 
 All arrangements having been completed, I engaged 
 passage for myself, wife, two children, and two servants, on 
 the packet ship " Columbus," of the old Black Ball hne, 
 commanded by Captain N. Cobb. On the first day of Au- 
 gust, 1834, we left the dock at Liverpool, a large number 
 of my friends being present to give me a cheering adieu, 
 and wishes for the full realization of my hopes. 
 
 The passengers numbered between forty and fifty, and 
 among the most prominent were a Catholic bishop of Mexico, 
 on his return from Home; Dr. Codman, a Congregational 
 clergyman of Dorchester, Mass., and a Mississippi major. 
 
 The prelate was tall and thin, quiet in his movements, 
 and modest in appearance ; while the doctor was a fine, ro- 
 bust man. 
 
 On one occasion the bishop invited Dr. Codman, myself, 
 and a few others into his stateroom, to examine his Pon- 
 tifical robes, which were very- rich and elegant. The doctor 
 admired them very much, and jocosely asked how we 
 thought Tie would appear in them. Having gained the con- 
 sent of the bishop, 'We urged, the doctor to put them on, 
 which request he good naturedly complied with, and walked 
 aroimd in his peculiarly majestic style, much to our and his 
 own amusement. He was truly a model in appearance for 
 a pope. The only regret connected with the circumstance 
 was, that the amiable doctor's congregation in Dorchester 
 could not have the pleasure of seeing him so attired. 
 
 Portrait of a JVLississippi WLajoi^^ 
 The major was a well-proportioned man, with an unpre- 
 possessing countenance, original in his actions, xmamiable 
 
A BULlrDOG STOUT. Ill 
 
 and Amliappy in his temperament. He was uncouth, fi-ight- 
 fully blasphemous, addicted to strong drinks, can-ied a huge 
 bowie-knife, and disliked all mankind — ^which feeling was 
 folly reciprocated by aU. 
 
 He left New York, and after a three weeks' residence in 
 Em-ope, returned in the same ship. He had been the pro- 
 prietor of a plantation, with a lai-ge number of slaves, which 
 he sold for bills of exchange on England. These he con- 
 verted into gold, and had the full amount in his stateroom, 
 packed in two large wooden boxes. He gave me the fol- 
 lowing account of his travels : 
 
 After his arrival in laverpool, where he remained but 
 one day, he proceeded to London, which . place he reached 
 at night. The followiug morning he engaged a carriage, iu 
 which he rode the whole day, looking at the public build- 
 ings, without entering the iuterior of any one! Conclud- 
 ing he had seen all the objects and sights worthy of notice, 
 he left, the same night, for Edinburg, where he seated him- 
 self in one of the principal hotels, with his feet extended 
 through an open window, and employed a Scotch bag-piper 
 to play Yankee Doodle and the Star Spangled Banner for 
 many hours, much to the annoyance of the people. One 
 day satisfied his restless spirit, and he left Scotland for Liv- 
 erpool, procured his gold, and, with the captain's permis- 
 sion, guarded it in person on board the ship, which he was 
 folly able to do. 
 
 The importance he attached to his foreign visit was 
 amusing, and ludicrous in the extreme. Li his opinion, he 
 had acquired an intimate knowledge of England, her insti- 
 tutions and people, toward whom his hostility was bitter, 
 declaring he would prefer being a slave in Mississippi, than 
 a freeman in the Old Country. 
 
 Previous to my visiting this country, many of my friends 
 and relatives endeavored to dissuade me from leaving Eu- 
 
112 MASKED TRAITS OF CHARACTER. 
 
 rope, representing that America was wild and uncultivated, 
 the society very indifferent, while outrages upon person 
 and property were unlimited : but such arguments did not 
 stop me. 
 
 Arrival in New York. 
 
 "We arrived off Staten Island in the early part of Sep- 
 tember. The day was beautiful in the extreme, and ITature 
 must have been sensible of the importance — ^to me — of the 
 occasion, for she appeared decorated in all her varieties. 
 The summer had passed, and the lovely autumn was every- 
 where putting forth the beauties of its season. Each object 
 the eye gazed upon seemed animated, and uttered a wel- 
 come to the stranger ; majestic trees courtesied to the soft 
 and balmy wind, while the chanting of distant birds, min- 
 gling with the farewell and return songs of the sailors, as 
 the various ships passed out and in, gave life and animation 
 to the occasion. 
 
 The number of fine residences erected in elevated posi- 
 tions, surrounded by willows, weeping forth thanks to the 
 Creator of heaven and earth, was a sublime view. 
 
 New York was at this time a city of great magnitude, 
 and rapidly increasing. The eye could not fail to perceive 
 her unsurpassed geographical advantages, or the mind won- 
 der at the destiny which awaited her. The hurried footsteps 
 of the people, their spirited manner of dealing, and general 
 urbanity to strangers, aided greatly in distinguishing the 
 marked traits between the inhabitants of the Old and New 
 "World. To me, the paramount object of life appeared to be 
 speed in conversation cmd action. At meal or bedtime, the 
 same characteristic prevailed, and in a brief period I myself 
 became from an European walk Americanized to the racing 
 procUmUes so popular, and I may observe, necessary for 
 success in this nation. The business capacities of all classes, 
 
MY SUBPBISE. 113 
 
 the sang-froid with which they applied themselves to cir- 
 ctunstances, strikingly surprised me, as likewise did their 
 perpetual industry. 
 
 The constant arrival of shipping from all parts of the 
 world, the countless number of drays and carts in con- 
 stant motion, laden with home and foreign productions, and 
 the crowded " Broadway," made a lasting impression. 
 
 " Young America " at this day was less matured, or at 
 least he had not the giant semblance of the present, yet 
 daily betrayed the element was progressing. The following 
 event, I feel assured, will add much to confirm this view : 
 
 " Young America." 
 
 One evening I was standing at the comer of a street, 
 smoking, when a youth approached me, holding a huge black 
 cigar in his hand, and requested a light, which I refused, 
 expressing my astonishment, and pleasantly advising bim to 
 discontinue the use of tobacco, for it was injurious to one 
 so young, and would ultimately affect his health. 
 
 He replied "that it would not, for he was now nine 
 years old, and had smoked two and three cigars a day for 
 two years." 
 
 I inquired the price he paid for them, and who supplied 
 him Avith the money. 
 
 He answered, " My father allows me twenty-five cents a 
 week, and I pay one cent each. Try one," said he, remov- 
 ing his cap from his head, and taking out three. 
 
 "No, thank you, boy, your generosity and extravagance 
 exceed your morals." 
 
 "Oh, it is time enough to leave off, sir, when older 
 people do," he quickly retorted. 
 
 At this moment a gentleman passed us smoking. The 
 boy immediately turned toward him and solicited that which 
 I had denied. His request was granted, and he pompously 
 
114 TBE BOT SMOKER. 
 
 walked away, clouds of smoke issuing from his lips sufficient 
 to astonisli a veteran in the art. 
 
 The hall accommodations in New York were inconven- 
 ient, for the only one of any magnitude I could obtain was 
 Masonic HaU, on Broadway, opposite the hospital. At this 
 place I made my dSbut before an American audience. The 
 public places of amusement then open to the citizens, were 
 the Park and Bowery Theatres, and Niblo's Garden. USTot- 
 withstanding the novelty of my entertainments had been 
 anticipated in a measure by Monsieur Adrien, a very tal- 
 ented and ingenious Frenchman, I experienced the most 
 unbounded success and flattering countenance from the in- 
 habitants at large; but, while I was patronized for my ability 
 to please and astonish, there was, with a very slight exception, 
 a total absence of an approach to the superstitious character 
 which had constantly marked my progress through the 
 "Old Country." 
 
 For weeks and months I continued the recipient of 
 crowded houses. The practical magician was but little un- 
 derstood. The great improvements in mechanical inven- 
 tions, the elaborate perfection and effect with which feats 
 were presented to the audiences, produced much sensation, 
 and established the superiority of the modern performers, 
 so that in a brief time professors of magic arose in abun- 
 dance. Adriens and Blitzes were represented in aU parts 
 of the country. This circumstance is to be explained from 
 the supposition that the business was profitable, and capable 
 of being successfully pursued. Frequently my identity 
 has been disputed when I have visited the different towns 
 and cities professionally. In later years this has proved an 
 incalculable annoyance, there being not less than thirteen 
 people traveUing the country using my name and profession 
 circulating a verbatim copy of my handbill and advertise- 
 ment—not only assuming to be the origmal Blitz, but in 
 
BOaUS PERSONAGES. 115 
 
 many instances claiming to be a son or nephew. I have 
 been in constant receipt of bills of their contracting, for, 
 not content with taking my name, they have not even honor 
 enough to pay their debts. The thirteen now travelling in 
 the United States exhibit under the foILowing, and other 
 names : 
 
 Signer Blitz. 
 Signor Blitz, Jr. 
 Signer BHtz, The OriginaL 
 Signer Blitz's Sen. 
 Signor Blitz's Nephew. 
 Signor Blitz, The Great. 
 Signor Bhtz, The Wonderful. 
 Signor Blitz, The Unrivalled. 
 Signor Bhtz, The Mysterious. 
 Signor Blitz, By Purchase. 
 Signer Blitz, The Great Original. 
 
 The greatest annoyance attending the movements of 
 these impostors was, and is yet, the constant flood of writs, 
 judgments, and bills served upon me for payment, or to 
 enforce payment of claims these men had contracted and 
 neglected to settle. Such demands have proved sorely 
 grievous, from the fact that I have ever adopted the rule of 
 promptly discharging aU my professional indebtedness. 
 
 The peculiarities of these debts, and the letters addressed 
 to me, betray a wonderful faculty for obtaining credit, and 
 a not less singular determination to make me responsible 
 for their liquidation. I will give a few specimens of their 
 demands : 
 
 "New Toek, April 10, 1860. 
 "SiGNOE Blitz — Sir: I am requested to enter suit 
 against yeu for bill of groceries, amounting to ($84.68) 
 
116 IN SEABOS OF " TSU" BLITZ. 
 
 eighty-four dollars and sixty-eigM cents. Said bill pur- 
 chased of J. Downing, of this city. 
 
 " O. Bkown, Attorney." 
 
 "New Tokk, September 5, 1861. 
 "SiGNOE Blitz— The enclosed biU of ($206.60) two 
 hundred six dollars and fifty cents is for furnishing goods, 
 obtained of G. Smith. If not attended to immediately, I 
 shall enter suit for the same. 
 
 "William Baeee." 
 
 " New Toek, April 25, 1863. 
 " SiGNOE Blptz — Dea/r Sir: I am desired by my client 
 to proceed against you for $211.16, for Brossels carpets 
 furnished at your house, which you have previously received 
 a bUl of. Yours respectfiiUy, 
 
 "J. Wilton." 
 
 When I last exhibited in New York, in 1868, I was 
 waited upon by an officer of the gas company for an unpaid 
 bill of $100. This was the more singular, as such corpora- 
 tions are not proverbial for, trusting. One evening, at the 
 close of my performance, I was served with a writ for two 
 notes of $300 each, given for rent of dwelling-house, on 
 which judgment had been obtained. The poor landlord 
 lost his money, for of course I did not pay it. There were 
 many others of a similar purport constantly presented me 
 for payment. 
 
 These letters are but a few of the hundreds that are in 
 my possession, which came, and are still coming, fi-om 
 different cities and States — ^New York particularly. Some 
 of the writers of the legal ones are exceedingly persistent 
 in their supposed claims, convinced beyond all dOubt that 
 I was " The " Blitz they wanted ; and in several instances 
 they required my photograph, after sending wliich, I heard 
 
CHANGE OF BASE. 11 V 
 
 nothing farther from them. So, with halls, printing offices, 
 and stores, I have been inundated with bills, and not nn- 
 freqnently, in places where I have visited for the first time, 
 I have been denied my own personality, and termed " Bo- 
 gus," in consequence of statements made to that effect by 
 misrepresentatvoes. For aU this annoyance, I have no 
 appeal but by a legal injunction, and, before it could be 
 completed, the band of Blitzes are enabled to remove to 
 distant parts, out of the jurisdiction of the court; and even 
 if they could be convicted, they are so entirely destitute of 
 pecuniary substance, that damages could never be recovered. 
 But that is of the least importance, the question at issue 
 being, whether men can with impunity defame and bring 
 odium upon the name and character of whom they please. 
 This is the difficulty to solve, for, while it is in fact obtain- 
 ing money under false pretences, it is unfortunate for me 
 that the law is not less intricate in its protecting powers, 
 rather than that it should favor evil-doers. 
 
 The following is one of the many instances of the too 
 ready adaptation of American character, for it illustrates 
 their versatility and ability for change : • 
 
 A M.AN IN Search of Business. 
 
 I was acquainted with a person in New York City, who 
 was the proprietor of a shoe-store, which, a few months 
 after, he exchanged for a grocery establishment ; but find- 
 ing the duties laborious, and the profits small, in a littie 
 time he sold out and opened a bookstore, a close attention 
 to which^ satisfied him that he was unacquainted with the 
 general literature of the day, consequently he would be un- 
 successful, and in the short space of five weeks he sold out 
 the stock and lease of the premises, and in fourteen days 
 after, associated himself as partner in a dry-goods house. 
 Experience soon convinced him that the income was inade- 
 
118 FiNDma one''s talent. 
 
 quate for the support of two families, so, without delay, he 
 disposed of his interest, and became proprietor of a furni- 
 ture warehouse. This was a branch of trade that did not 
 give the necessary employment to one of an active temper- 
 ament, and with great despatch he closed the same, and 
 opened an exchange or broker's office, — a business requiring 
 more mental knowledge than labor, and which had become 
 exceedingly lucrative. He continued in this business for 
 many years, retiring with a large fortune. That man, after 
 a long search, found his proper vocation, and was certainly 
 rewarded for his energy and perseverance. 
 
 An Aspiring Waitei^^ 
 
 A yet more striking instance of American persistence 
 will be developed by an amusing anecdote, related to 
 me by the proprietor of one of the principal hotels in 
 Boston : 
 
 During one of those unbroken winters peculiar to the 
 New England climate, when ice forms early in the season, 
 and snow clothes the whole surface of t^e earth, leaving no 
 green spot for the eye to gaze upon, a young man, twenty- 
 four years of age, applied to the landlord for the situation 
 of waiter, stating that wages were less an object to him than 
 a permanent home during the severity of the season ; suffi- 
 cient money for necessary clothing would be all he should 
 require. Arrangements were agreed upon, and he was to 
 receive a compensation of- eight doUars per month, with 
 -board and washing. At the expiration of the first month, 
 when the landlord paid him the above sum, he expressed a 
 wish to converse with him in private, on special business ; 
 and, entering an adjoining room, the following conversation 
 took place : 
 
 Wcdter. "Mr. - — , have you any desire to sell out? if 
 so, can we make terms?" 
 
THE MAN OF BBASS. 119 
 
 Lcmdlord. "Why? have you been commissioned by 
 any person?" 
 
 " Oh, no ; only I think, from the little time I have been 
 in the house, I could succeed very well as landlord. I like 
 the location, and believe I can save money here." 
 
 "Have you friends who wiU assist you in the purchase? 
 The rent is four thousand dollars yearly, and my furniture, 
 wines, and goodwill I estimate at fourteen thousand." 
 
 "No, I have neither friends or money, save this,"— -pro- 
 ducing the eight dollars — " but give me time, the same way 
 I presume you commenced. So, if you are disposed to 
 leave, I should Hke to enter upon the business with the least 
 possible delay." 
 
 It is not necessary to state the refusal of the landlord, or 
 the improbabihty of his quitting the establishment under 
 such prospects. The following day, the young aspirant left 
 the house, and in eighteen months from the date of this 
 conversation, was keeping one of the most extensive and 
 fashionable hotels in the "Western States, from which he has 
 realized wealth and popularity. 
 
 The Ambitious Office Seekef^ 
 
 As an evidence of their readiness on all occasions to as- 
 sume important situations, I will relate a proceeding which 
 occurred during Mr. Yan Buren's administration of national 
 aflfairs : 
 
 At the meeting of Congress, a statement appeared in 
 the newspapers of the day, that a disposition prevailed at 
 Washington to elect a new postmaster to the House, the 
 income of the office amounting, I believe, to some fifteen 
 hundred dollars per annum, and the applicants for the place 
 were numerous. One of them resided in a remote part of 
 the State of Michigan, and immediately on learning the 
 intention of Congress, left his home, walking over one hun- 
 
120 TBE PERSEVERING POLITICIAN. 
 
 dred miles previous to taking any conveyance, and in eight 
 days arrived at Washington- He lost no time in calling 
 upon the member representing his district, introduced him- 
 self, and explained the object of his visit. 
 
 The honorable representative received him courteously, 
 but regretted he had not written to him upon the subject 
 previous to undertaking so great a journey, as there was a 
 doubt as to the probability of his succeeding, on account of 
 the number of candidates, particularly as two of them were 
 very strongly supported by their respective parties ; how- 
 ever, he would devote all his interest in his behalf. After 
 a few days, the House went into an election for postmaster, 
 and the person from Michigan was unsuccessful. The House 
 now proceeded to elect a chaplain. The Michigan traveller, 
 without the least hesitation, became a competitor with sev- 
 eral reverend gentlemen. In this case he was equally un- 
 successful. The House now prepared to elect a messenger. 
 Nothing daunted by his former failures, he offered himself 
 as a candidate, and was duly elected and confirmed as such. 
 That his capacity for either of the departments was ample, 
 I do not doubt ; and had he been elected to either of the 
 offices, would have been appreciated by the members. 
 
 The Hon. Judge Colquet, a senator iu Congress from 
 Georgia, a few years since, acted at the same time as General 
 of the Militia, Judge of the Circuit Court, Senator in the 
 State Legislature, and Clergyman in the Methodist Episco- 
 pal Church. In each of these departments he acquitted 
 himself with dignity, to the satisfaction of himself and fel- 
 low citizens. 
 
 I will -conclude my reference to the versatility of Amer- 
 icans, by calling attention to a busy fellow in Michigan, who 
 kept a distillery, which manufactured a hundred barrels of 
 whiskey per week, an extensive flouring mill which ground 
 ten thousand bushels of grain each year, raised Berkshire 
 
AMEBIC AN BNTEBPBISE. 121 
 
 pigs and Durham cattle, built extensive bams and outbuild- 
 ings, traded in horses and cattle when a good bargain offered, 
 besides attending to land surveying, and taking care of a 
 wife and six children ! 
 
 From these few cases of personal observation, my read- 
 ers may form some idea of American enterprise, yet these 
 are but trifling undertakings compared with those which 
 their general character daily displays. In the most stupen- 
 dous works, apparent obstructions and impediments are con- 
 quered, and overcome by the force of a spirited ambition, 
 and by the energy and perseverance of the actors.. The 
 wide-spread oceans, and the hundreds of rivers and lakes of 
 the country, are all burdened with American produce, con- 
 trolled by a sagacity of thought that removes the diflaculties 
 which operate on conamercial aflfairs. In the light of day or 
 shade of night, Americans are prepared for trade ; and it 
 matters but little whether it relates to a pound of butter, to 
 a Government bond, or a gold mine, — ^they are always ready 
 for trade and barter. 
 
 I once heard a native of Connecticut observe, that if it 
 were possible to remove the Falls of Niagara, a joint stock 
 company could be formed in a day, to remove and exhibit 
 them throughout the country. 
 
CHAPTEE XIII. 
 
 ENGAGEMENT AT NEBLo's GABDEN. 
 
 NLT a few weeks had expired after 
 my arriral. in New York, before I ac- 
 cepted an oflfer made me- by Mr. 
 William !Niblo to appear at ilSTiblo's 
 Garden, at that time the most promi^ 
 nent and popular place of amusement 
 " ^ in the city. The attractions were of 
 a various character — such as to meet the taste of all lovers 
 and patrons of exhibitions. 
 
 On popular occasions, a number of side entertainments 
 were given in convenient locations,' erected for this special 
 purpose. 
 
 The musical department was confined to the principal 
 hall, and was exceedingly good, comprising Mr. Watson, 
 composer and director ; Mrs. Watson, eminent as a ballad 
 singer ; Miss Watson, equally sweet as a vocalist — a proUgSe 
 of the celebrated Paganini ; Mr. Howard, remarkably touch- 
 ing in his rendering of "Black-eyed Susan," " AU's WeU," 
 "Minute Gun at Sea," "Oft in the Stilly Night," and other 
 old favorite English melodies ; Mr. Dempster was not less 
 enchanting in his delineation of Scotch songs; Signor 
 Faboy, with a splendid tenor voice; Mr. Norton, perfect 
 master of the comet ; Signor Gambati, with immense power 
 on the bugle and cornet ; Mr. James Kendall ; J. A. Kyle, 
 
sow TO BINE WITS KINGS. 123 
 
 and many others equally distingmshed for their special 
 merits. A better mSlcmge of artists was probably never 
 combined in one concert-room. For months these gifted 
 performers nightly crowded the immense saloon with de- 
 lighted audiences. My performances were given in con- 
 junction with these gentlemen, upon the same platfonli, 
 either before or after the .concerts, as the nature of my feats 
 might warrant. 
 
 The interviews at the rehearsals were at times rich and 
 amusing, from the spicy debates that would occur between 
 Norton and Howard. Both these gentlemen were natives of 
 England, with strong prejudices and attachments. Howard 
 had long suffered from inflammatory rheumatism, which ulti- 
 mately resulted in disease of the spine, and he was obliged 
 to support Tiis slender and delicate frame upon crutches. 
 His affliction produced a quick and nervous - disposition. 
 Norton was a fine, powerful-looking man, in the vigor of 
 health and life, an inveterate joker, pompous in the extreme, 
 and fond of connecting himself with the lords and nobles 
 of England, alleging his intimacy and companionship with 
 this and that illustrious personage; but of all the many 
 laughable exchanges that occurred between them, none 
 exceeded the following : One morning, there being a full 
 attendance in the green-room, Norton drew up his gigantic 
 frame, with this remark, — 
 
 "Howard, when I dined with the Prince of "Wales — 
 afterward George the Fourth — and "William the Fourth — " 
 
 " Who did you say you dined with ? " nervously inquired 
 Howard. 
 
 ""Why, the Prince of 'Wales,- and King 'William of Eng- 
 land." 
 
 " You did ! "Why the d— 1 don't you speak the truth, 
 Norton, and say you Mew the ifrvmvpet while they dined ! " 
 
 The mirth this occasioned may be well imagined. The 
 
124 MUSICAL ARTISTS. 
 
 rebuke of Howard was a great annoyance to Norton, but it 
 served for a long time to render him more moderate in as- 
 serting who were his friends and equals. 
 
 Howard was always ready at repartee. His reply to 
 Signor Caselani faUy proves this. Howard had been fre- 
 quently provoked by the powerful tones this gentleman 
 would produce from his instrument, so that at times his 
 voice was inaudible. On the occasion of his benefit, How- 
 ard requested Caselani, as a favor, to play pianissimo. This 
 the professor promised, and faithfully he kept his word, 
 for, in every instance when Howard was singing, he never 
 produced a note, but placed the bow between the strings, 
 and leaned back in triumph. At the close of the concert 
 he ran up to Howard and inquired if he had played soft 
 enough. 
 
 "Yes, yes," he exclaimed. "If you will only do the 
 same at all times; you will please me, and delight the com- 
 pany." 
 
 The trial of skill between Mr. Norton and Signor Gam- 
 bati, on the trombone, for a silver goblet, presented by the 
 manager, were splendid efforts of great artists. These 
 gentlemen appeared in -almost every city as rivals on this 
 instrument, and deeply interested the admirers of sterling 
 music in their admirable claims for superiority and master- 
 ship. Besides this array of musical talent, Signor Antonio, 
 the pioneer on the flying trapeze, was one of the features, 
 and many no doubt remember his grave but winning smile. 
 
 Jis. Disturbed -JDinnei^ 
 
 During my entertainments in New York, I frequently 
 dined with Messrs. Price and Hambliu, managers of the 
 Park and Bowery Theatres. Mr. Hamblin was a lively and 
 convivial companion, told a himiorous story, loved a good 
 dinner, and enjoyed a glass of wine, and was never happier 
 
KING OF PIGS. 125 
 
 than when he had succeeded in nrging me to play some 
 prank on the waiters. 
 
 One day at dinner a roast pig was placed before Mm to 
 carve. Hamblin, with knife and fork in hand, proceeded 
 to do so, but at this moment the pig began to squeal and 
 grunt terrifically. Hamblin and Price started from their 
 chairs, and the waiter, who was standing on the right of the 
 former, ran out of the room in his fright, dropping the plate 
 he held. 
 
 "In the name of Heaven, what does, what does this 
 mean ! " exclaimed Hamblin, at the same time ringing the 
 bell with energy. 
 
 In a few moments the proprietor appeared, and was re- 
 quested to explain the singular affair. I could no longer 
 retain the' joke, but exposed the secret of my being the 
 noisy pig, by squealing and grunting as before. At this, 
 Hamblin and Price laughed immoderately, and gave me 
 credit for so perfectly deceiving them, and ever after dubbed 
 me the "King of Pigs." We returned to the table, and, 
 notwithstanding our dinner was cold, passed a pleasant 
 hour ; but on no account could the waiter be induced to 
 attend upon us. 
 
 Ex-President Van Buren. 
 
 At the Washington Hotel, which was situateii at the 
 comer of Broadway and Chambers street, the spot on which 
 !Mr. Stewart's dry-goods store is now erected, I had a pleas- 
 ant interview with Ex-President Martiu Yan Buren, who 
 was well known at that "time ia the political world as the 
 " Little Magician." I was introduced by Captaia Cobb as 
 Signor Blitz, the "Great Magician." Shaking me cordi- 
 ally by the hand, he said, — 
 
 " Oh ! Signor Blitz, I am happy to be acquainted with 
 so distinguished a brother professor." 
 
126 TSE QEMAT AND LITTLE MAGICIAN. 
 
 - " Thank you, sir, for the honor, but you are the greatest, 
 for no one in the profession has arrived at the pinnacle of 
 such feme, or so successfally deceived the public," I laugh- 
 ingly remarked, in which laugh he heartily joined. 
 
 " I have frequently seen our names coupled," said Mr. 
 Van Buren, " as wielding the magic wand, but I cheerfully 
 resign to you the superiority; for yon, Signer, please and 
 delight all ages and sexes, while my jugglery is for political 
 purposes." 
 
 After a social chat of a general character, we separated, 
 Mr. Van Buren wishing me success, at the same time re- 
 marking that, as he had retired, 7" could no longer look upon 
 him as a competitor in the art of deception. 
 
 Once after this, he visited my entertainments at the 
 Society Library, on Broadway. 
 
 The M.ARKETMAN Outwitted. 
 
 I was frequently in the habit of visiting the different 
 markets in New York, contributing surprise to the venders, 
 and adding notoriety to my name. Sometimes the dead 
 turkeys, chickens, and geese that were exposed for sale, 
 would express their indignation when represented to cus- 
 tomers as being young and tender, by gobbling and cackling, 
 declaring the falsity of the assertion, and in many instances 
 the purchasers refased a good meal, and the owners lost a 
 sale. One day, in the Washington Market, I observed a^ 
 Quaker lady looking at a pair of chickens she was holding - 
 in her hand. I was soon by her side, inquiring the price of 
 them. 
 
 " Seventy cents, sir," she replied; "but I think sixty 
 sufficient — they are not large." 
 
 The chickens now declared, in a mournful strain, that 
 they died for want of food and water. The Quakeress 
 dropped them with consternation. 
 
TSE QUAKERESS AND CHICKENS. 127 
 
 "These feathered imps — J. would not eat them were 
 they ever so sweet and fresh ! " 
 
 "Why, madam!" spoke the man, whose face reddened 
 at what the chickens seemed to utter ; " do you suppose 
 they are alive and can talk ? " 
 
 " Did thee not hear with thine own ears ? " 
 
 " Certainly we can speak ! so you need not presume to 
 pass us off for spring chickens, when we are tough with age." 
 
 At this the Quakeress shook her head and hurried away, 
 while the confused marketman gazed upon the poultry with 
 mingled anger and vindictiveness. Just then a passer-by 
 saluted me as " Signor Blitz." This discovery caused the 
 poultry dealer to utter in loud and excited tones, " Sold, by 
 thimder ! " 
 
 Wonderful M.oney-Bag. 
 
 One of the most amusing pleasantries in astonishing the 
 mind, and almost of a nature to question with suspicious 
 apprehension the secret power of a magician, may be found 
 in the following : 
 
 I kept an account at the Leather Manufacturers' Bank, in 
 New York. One day I deposited silver amountiag to over 
 one hundred dollars, which was contained in a stout linen 
 bag, with my name printed upon the outside. The receiv- 
 ing teller gave me credit for the amount, and desired me to 
 leave the bag, which he promised to return me when I 
 called again, as it was near the hour of closing. In the 
 course of a few days, I had occasion to transact business at 
 the bank, and inquired for my bag, but it could not be 
 found. The teller regretted the circumstance, and handed 
 me as a substitute one of immense size, painted white, com- 
 monly, used in the transmission of specie, and capable of 
 holding one thousand dollars, saying, " Signor, you can take 
 this and use it as an egg bag ; perhaps you will supply a 
 
128 THE WONDERFUL MONEY-BAB. 
 
 few from it now." All the clerks and persons present 
 united in his request, feeling assured they had the advan- 
 tage of me, by my being unprepared. Singular as it may 
 seem, I had an egg in my pocket, having just come from 
 the Fulton Market, where I had been, in company with a 
 friend, astonishing a countryman by swallowing a few dozen 
 of his eggs. 
 
 I remarked to the gentlemen, in reply to their wishes, 
 that if they had asked this in my exhibition-hall, I could 
 have gratified them ; but as this was unexpected on my 
 part, I was not prepared for the occasion. This produced 
 great merriment at my expense, but it did not continue 
 long, for during the conversation I had removed, unob- 
 served, the egg from my pocket to the bag, and at the same 
 time I remarked with some spirit, that as they doubted my 
 capacity to produce them, I would prove that at all times 
 eggs were at my command. 
 
 "Ah! we don't believe that, Signor; we have caught 
 you this time ! " one of them said ; whereupon I placed my 
 hand in the bag and brought forth an egg, the appearance 
 of which caused a sudden reaction, for the looks of every 
 one portrayed the utmost amazement, which was not les- 
 sened when I continued the deception until one dozen were 
 consecutively taken from the bag. I wish it was in my 
 power to photograph to my readers the countenances of all 
 present, thus proving how much I had enhanced my charac- 
 ter as a magician. For years afterward I was always greeted 
 upon entering the bank with smiles of welcome, but never 
 again solicited to exercise my art, although they frequently 
 referred to the marvellous bag. 
 
 The Advantages of being a Ventrilocmjist. 
 
 During the erection of the Croton Water "Works in New 
 York, I resided with my family at the corner of Fifty-third 
 
THE JEGG TBICK. 129 
 
 street, on the Bloomingdale road. There were probably 
 not less than two thousand laborers employed upon these 
 works, who were chiefly of the Irish population; and the 
 depredations and annoyances that were committed, with- 
 out regard to person or position, were intolerable. Ho one 
 could escape from their ruffian and lawless hands. Every 
 orchard was pilfered, hen-roosts robbed, cows milked and 
 driven away with impunity, and either sold or slaughtered ; 
 wood and fuel taken at pleasure ; every dog was killed as 
 an enemy ; pigs were especially an object of their aflFection ; 
 indeed, everything available was removed ; at night or by 
 day these scenes took place. For all these annoyances the 
 residents had no redi-ess, political influence being subservi- 
 ent to the atrocious acts of the marauders. Pedestrians and 
 persons in carriages were frequently stopped and plundered. 
 The civil power was of httle avail against this set of despe- 
 radoes. The only protection was to avoid encountering 
 them, but this at times was impossible. I had occasion, 
 one night, at the close of my performance, to walk home, 
 and just before arriving at the corner of Torty-second street 
 (the great depot and settlement for cabins and the families 
 of the workmen, — a spot noted and dreaded for its drunken 
 brawls, fights, and consequent attacks on passers-by), I was 
 startled by a signal whistle, evidently given to denote that 
 some one was approaching, and, as I walked on, signals 
 were given to and from different parties. I experienced 
 considerable fear, but in a moment a thought struck me : 
 my ven'triloquial powers couid be brought effectually into 
 operation, especially as it was a dark and gloomy night, and 
 numbers were not distinguishable. I took the centre of the 
 road, and hurriedly moved on, meantime commencing a con- 
 versation with imaginary people, calling, by different names, 
 the responses being --natural and in tones of voice entirely 
 different, some laughing, singing, and shouting, accompa- 
 6* 
 
130 LIFE INSURANCE. 
 
 nied by the barking of two dogs. This rase, on my part, 
 was a complete success. Probably I thereby saved my Hfe, 
 unquestionably my property, for I distinctly heard the 
 scamps express their doubts as to the policy of the attempt, 
 as the party was evidently too large for them ; and thus I 
 reached home in safety. My readers can easily perceive the 
 value of being a ventriloquist, and I reflect with satisfaction 
 on my possessing this amusing and useful art, for on this 
 special occasion it was a matter of deep congratulation, as, 
 shortly after my fortunate escape, several pedestrians were 
 brutally beaten and robbed at or near this place. 
 
 The Astonished AIedical Examinei^^ 
 
 Yentriloquism has also frequently afforded me opportu- 
 nities to astonish and please those with whom I have had 
 busiuess transactions, as a simple illustration of which I will 
 relate a scene that occurred in an insurance office. 
 
 Having resolved to effect an insurance on my Hfe, I 
 called at the office of the Mutual Life Insurance Company, 
 of New Tork, for that purpose, where I held a pleasant in- 
 terview with Dr. Post, recently deceased, but who then, 
 and to the time of his death, was the gentlemanly examin- 
 ing physician. He inquired particularly in regard to my 
 health and habits of life, and was especially inquisitive re- 
 specting my powers of ventriloquism, the exercise of which 
 he concluded must be very injurious to the throat and lungs, 
 and considered it necessary that I should undergo a strict 
 examination. I assured him that I would with pleasure at 
 once remove his doubts on that point, and instantaneously 
 lifting a large cloth spread over a round table, held a conver- 
 sation 'with several imaginary voices, so deep and powerful 
 that the doctor started back with astonishment, and im- 
 mediately signed my application, declaring further consulta- 
 tion needless. This little episode left an agreeable recoUec- 
 
TBE GAME OF CRICKET. 131 
 
 tion, SO that whenever I met the doctor we never failed to 
 recall the circumstance, and enjoy a hearty laugh. Twenty- 
 five years have now passed, and my lungs, notwithstanding 
 laborious taxation, yet remain unimpaired, and the, company, 
 I believe, value my policy of insurance as one of their best. 
 
 An Insane Woman, 
 
 A very curious and entertaining affair was occasioned 
 by my visiting the Insane Asylum at Bloomingdale, in com- 
 pany with a Mr. Bennett. "When we arrived, the only person 
 visible was a female patient, seated on a grass-plot, with her 
 countenance wrapt in melancholy thought. On my wish- 
 ing her good morning, she directed her face toward me, and 
 with a vacant stare and demented look, exclaimed, — 
 
 •"Ah, is that you, Old Scratch?" 
 
 At this courteous salutation Mr. Bennett could not resist 
 the expression of " good " and instantaneously produced 
 the following : 
 
 " Surely the woman is not mad. 
 
 When calling Signor Blitz ' Old Scratch;' 
 A better name could not he had, 
 Or one his looks so well do match." 
 
 These impromptu lines exacted from me a loud and ap- 
 preciative laugh. Mr. Bennett was an Englishman, and 
 well known in !N"ew York for his peculiar devotion to the 
 game of cricket ; indeed, he was such an enthusiastic lover 
 of the art, that he was in the habit of sleeping with the 
 bats, balls, and wickets beneath his pillow, and during the 
 night, would rise and practise by himself. Whatever part 
 of the coimtry business might require his presence, these 
 articles were always his travelling companions, enclosed in 
 a leather case, giving constant speculation as to its contents. 
 When at a place where none were to be found who under- 
 
132 
 
 A MAN or VERACITY. 
 
 stood the game, lie was known to engage persons with one 
 eye, leg, or arm, paying them by the hour for the purpose 
 of this practice, such being his passion for cricket. . A gen- 
 tleman once complimented him for his great proficiency, 
 and thought he studied by the Kule of Three. 
 
 " Oh, no," replied Mr. Bennett, " it is by Pracbice." 
 
 Mr. Bennett was formerly lessee of Peale's Museum, 
 which he conducted with much spirit, providing liberally 
 for the public and the performers ; and for some years pre- 
 vious to his death was in the employ of Mr. P. T. Bamum, 
 who not only admired him for his honest principles, but 
 compensated him handsomely, asserting that he considered 
 him the most upright man he had ever known. 
 
 Mr. Bennett was gifted with a heart of great kindness, 
 and respected for his spotless integrity. During twenty-five 
 years' association with a large circle of friends, he was never 
 known to have uttered a single falsehood ; and once, when 
 solicited to do so by his employer, which would have re- 
 sulted in a pecuniary benefit to himself, answered, with true 
 Koman dignity, — 
 
 "Ifo, sir! You know I never speak an untruth for 
 myself, and how could you expect me to do it for you ? " 
 
CHAPTEE XrV. 
 
 THE ECCENTKIO DOCTOE VAIENTINE. 
 
 HE late Dr. Yalentine, well known as 
 the delineator of Yankee character and 
 American life, was not less eccentric 
 himself than were the peculiar people 
 he represented, 
 
 Probably no professor in the mimic 
 art contributed so much pleasure, and 
 created so much mirth, or possessed so fertile a faculty to 
 give enjoyment ; yet, strange as it may appear, no man 
 was so miserable and unhappy as himself. Afflicted with 
 a nervous, irritable temperament, the delight he afforded %o 
 others was a pain to his own nature ; and on many occa- 
 sions I have heard him declare that he never remembered 
 experiencing three consecutive hours of peace and content- 
 ment. Educated as a physician, his erratic disposition in- 
 clined him to studies more varied and congenial, and of a 
 popular nature. Electricity, phrenology, and ■ agricultural 
 chemistry deeply interested his mind," and he at times advo- 
 cated their principles with an earnest eloquence that at- 
 tracted public attention. In addition to these branches, he 
 was the inventor and suggester of many useful and impor- 
 tant improvements, which, from his apathy to action, were 
 in all instances appropriated by others. 
 
 The doctor was a practical and untiring developer of the 
 
134 AGRICULTURAL CHEMISTRY. 
 
 science and truth of agricultural chemistry. Numerous are 
 the times I have Hstened to him, as he discoursed to his 
 attentive hearers of the beauties and remarkable results of 
 this necessary treatment in farming. Many would laugh 
 and ridicule the facts he advanced ; but then, with excited 
 vehemence, he would drag forth from his pocket the myste- 
 ries of Liebig and Johnson on agricultural chemistry as a 
 -proof of his statements, and present the same to the doubt- 
 ing ones, with the words, " There, read this, gentlemen, and 
 become convinced." The doctor was always prepared for 
 an emergency, and carried about his person a volume by 
 each of the above distinguished authors. Perhaps the best 
 illustration I can give of his ardent efforts to promote the 
 success and general apphcation of the discovery, is the 
 following: 
 
 He located himself on Long Island, a few miles distant 
 from Brooklyn, on the most pubhc thoroughfare, in a small 
 cottage, with the significant sign of " William VALEimsrE, 
 T/ATTO DocTOE." The inscription, from the enormous size 
 of the letters, apart from its novelty, attracted the attention 
 of all persons, by producing much comment and merriment. 
 He could not have taken a better position for the carrying 
 out of his reformatory plans, for icertainly no part of the 
 country more required the supervision and advice of an 
 intellectual farming physician, for the land was poor and 
 exhausted by an indifferent and careless people. The doctor 
 resided here for a long time, a martyr to science, only one 
 person having conversed with him upon the subject, and 
 that by mere accident. A farmer passing by his door with 
 a load of hay, had the misfortune to break his wagon, when 
 the doctor appeared and offered his assistance. The farmer 
 inquired if he was the " land doctor." 
 
 " Yes, sir, I amthe man ; what can I do for you ? " 
 "Well, doctor, what is to be done for poor land? " 
 
LAND DOCTOR. 133 
 
 " Have you any that does not yield ? " 
 
 " Tes, indeed, one hundred and fifty acres." 
 
 " Tou know what ails it ? " 
 
 " Tes ; it is worn out." 
 
 " "Well, it wants medicine ; it's sick — ^needs the doctor." 
 
 " Medicine ; what kind? " 
 
 " Well, bring me a sample of the soil, that I may ana^ 
 lyze its properties, and advise you what chemicals to apply 
 for its renovation." 
 
 " E^ow, doctor, I don't understand your chemistry ; our 
 family always farmed by the almanac and moon." 
 
 Here the doctor left hurriedly in disgust, observing he 
 believed there never were more stupid and dull agricultur- 
 ists than the Long Island farmers, — and it was literally true, 
 for after a residence of six months in a most inferior and 
 unproductive country, he returned to New York without 
 being once consulted or realizing a single dollar in return 
 for his time and expense in his attempt to give wisdom to 
 the imeducated agriculturist. 
 
 A. Wise Phrenologist. 
 
 The doctor's knowledge of phrenology was marvellously 
 truthful, for he had devoted much time and inquiry to its 
 philosophy. He loved the peculiar and general index it 
 gave to character. The appearance of every head invariably 
 gave him a perfect type, mould, or representative of feeling 
 and action ; it enabled him to arrive at conclusions most 
 satisfactory and indisputable, and thus, in many instances, 
 his engagements and business transactions were guided upon 
 this knowledge. 
 
 This characteristic was so prominent a feature in his 
 daily intercourse with the world, that his views and opin- 
 ions were more frequently correct than theoretical, occasion- 
 ally producing the most fortunate results. 
 
136 VILLANOUS BEADS. 
 
 J' 
 
 So positive was his faith in phrenological developments, 
 combined with the expression of physiognomy, that the 
 mo.st important movements of his life were controlled by 
 them. Frequently he would refiise to take passage on board 
 a steamboat, imless he ha(^ previously taken a general survey 
 of the captain's and engineer's heads, and if he entertained 
 the least doubt of their care and skill, no inducement could 
 prevail upon or urge him to travel with them. So, likewise, 
 was the caution he exercised in regard to conductors and 
 engineers on the railroads, making it a rule to sketch their 
 phrenological formation before procuring his ticket. This 
 prudence, on several occasions, preserved him from accident 
 and loss of life. At Cincinnati he had engaged a passage 
 on the steamer " MoseUe," but a glance at the officers con- 
 vinced him of their recklessness, and he immediately or- 
 dered his baggage to be taken on shore. His sagacity prob- 
 ably saved his life, for, shortly after leaving the city, the 
 boiler exploded, killing and wounding one hundred and 
 thirty of the passengers! I remember being in company 
 with the doctor at Natchez, Mississippi, en route for New 
 Orleans. When the boat arrived on which we were to take 
 our departure, he obstinately refused to proceed in her. 
 
 " Why ? " I inquired ; " what is the trouble ? " 
 
 " A great deal," he replied. " I do not like the looks 
 of the pilot and engineer ; they have villanous heads and 
 features, and I wiU not risk myself with them." 
 
 So we remained for the next steamer, the officers of 
 which indicated more care and system in their characters. 
 Notwithstanding my feelings were vexed for the moment, at 
 the loss of time, the doctor's precaution proved correct, for, ' 
 some miles below, an accident occurred to the former boat, 
 by which several lives were lost, and many injured. 
 
 Another remarkable instance of his admirable knowledge ' 
 of phrenology took place in my presence. Many years 
 
TSE XATUSAL TSISF. 137 
 
 since, at the Masonic Hall, in Philadelphia, where I was giv- 
 ing entertainments, in conjunction with the doctor, a girl of 
 some twenty years, during a cold winter's morning, opened 
 the door and entered, asking permission to warm herself by 
 the fire, near which I was in conversation with a gentleman, 
 who soon after left. Not thinking of the girl's presence, I 
 was attending to my necessary arrangements, when I was 
 disturbed by the return of the gentleman, who excitedly in- 
 quired for her, when, to my surprise, I found she had disap- 
 peared. He stated she had stolen his purse, containing 
 twenty dollars This greatly astonished me ; and not having 
 heard her go out, we at once commenced a search over the 
 building, and ultimately found her secreted behind a door 
 in the cellar. We took her upstairs and accused her of the 
 theft, which she persistently denied; but feeling assured, 
 from her actions and appearance, that she had committed 
 the act, we threatened her with the law unless she returned 
 the property. She declared her innocence, with tears, and 
 gave us permission to search her person, which we accord- 
 ingly did, but without discovering the purse or money. At 
 this instant the doctor made his appearance, and, without 
 being informed of the circumstance, was requested to exam- 
 ine the character of her head. Removing her bonnet, he 
 commenced to ascertain her peculiarities, and exclaimed, — 
 
 " Why, girl, you are a natural thief ! " 
 
 "Me, ^u-?" 
 
 "Yes, you!" 
 
 " I^o, I am not ! " she replied, weeping. 
 
 " It is no use crying, girl ; you cannot help it ; you are 
 constituted one ; whatever you see, your hands will take." 
 
 Here we were interrupted by the entrance of an officer, 
 at the sight of whom she made a confession, and gave ia- 
 formation as to the whereabouts of the purse, after procur- 
 ing which, we permitted her to depart ; the officer inform- 
 
138 THE GUN TRICK. 
 
 ing US that slie was constantly before the courts for pilfer- 
 ing, and known as the greatest expert in the city. 
 
 "We were amused with the correct description of the 
 girl given by the doctor, illustrating the truthfiilness of his 
 favorite study. He has gone to his long rest ; peace to his 
 memory ! A greater combination of oddity, genius, and 
 generosity never existed. 
 
 The Gun Trick. 
 
 All professional duties are subject to incidental circum- 
 -stances, some of a character more or less agreeable than 
 others, in reference to which I Will relate a most disagree- 
 able occurrence which happened while in the City of New 
 York, and which might have proved fatal. One of my 
 principal feats of attraction at that time, was the permitting 
 a person to bring his own gun, powder, and ball to shoot at 
 me, as hereinafter stated. 
 
 The gun was tested as a precaution that it was not 
 charged, after which the parties were desired to load, with 
 the usual quantity of powder. This being done, two or 
 three balls of a large size were marked by different individ- 
 uals, and dropped into the barrel of the gun, to the satisfac- 
 tion of the audience. These preliminaries being passed 
 through, I solicited the person in charge of the gun to take 
 his position and fire at my left hand, which was extended 
 from my body. This he did, but not without some appre- 
 hension, as his tremulous movement indicated. The words, 
 " One, two, three — ^fire ! " were given, when the discharge 
 took place, lodging not less, than a dozen carpet tacks in my 
 hand, and aboxit forty in the wall, causing the blood to flow 
 freely from my wound, and creating no little alarm and in- 
 dignation on the part of the audience, especially as I was 
 unable to conceal the pain I was enduring. The poor man, 
 in his belief of my immaculate powers, slipped a handful 
 
WANTED TO SSOOT AT ME. 13S 
 
 of tacks into the muzzle of the gun as he turned to take his 
 aim. It was an exciting scene, and all present manifested 
 so much feeling, that had I not iaterceded, some fatal con- 
 sequences would in all probability have taken place, for 
 their disposition to commit violence on the person firing 
 was very determined ; but happily it was averted by my ex- 
 plaining that there was more thoughtlessness in the affair, 
 than premeditation to do me bodily harm. 
 
 Caught in the A.ct. 
 
 On another occasion, when performing the same experi- 
 ment in Philadelphia, the person holding the gun for the 
 purpose of shooting at me, was detected in dropping some- 
 thing into the barrel. Several of the company called my 
 attention to the fact, and on being accused he denied so 
 doing, and as it was a matter too serious to rely upon his 
 veracity, I removed the weapon from his hand and turned 
 it downward, when a brass button fell out. He was then 
 groaned and hissed at as a reward for his dastardly conduct. 
 He excused himself by stating that he supposed I possessed 
 the supernatural power to protect myself from injury. 
 
 While exhibiting the same feat in the theatre at Savan- 
 nsth, a gentleman in the house drew his loaded revolver and 
 earnestly requested to shoot at me, stating I could as easily 
 catch the contents of six barrels as one. So determined 
 was he in his desire to shoot, that it required much effort 
 to prevent his firing, and to convince him my feat was only 
 a deception. 
 
 But it is pleasant to know that others manifested a 
 different disposition. A sailor jumped upon the platform 
 in New York, and loaded the gan with powder and ball, 
 and when requested to shoot, shook his head, and in an ex- 
 cited and earnest tone declared he would do no such thing. 
 
 " Why not ? " I inquired. 
 
140 TB.E KIND-HEARTED SAILOR. 
 
 He answered, " I don't wish to murder you." 
 
 "I don't understand you," I said. 
 
 "Because," lie continued, "the balls, I am satisfied, are 
 inside." 
 
 This created great laughter and applause, in which I 
 participated, and observed that I thought he was afraid to 
 fire a gun. 
 
 " No, indeed," he replied. " I belong to the navy, and 
 
 fire cannon ; but I'm if I want to kill a man for nothing, 
 
 especially as fiinny a chap as you." 
 
 His remarks drew cheers, and I found it necessary to 
 procure another person to fire ; and when the sailor perceived 
 I was imharmed, he rushed up to me, and shaking both my 
 hands, expressed his pleasure that I was safe. 
 
 This feat was the most adroit in my performance ; and, 
 while it created a marked sensation and interest to the rough 
 and unpohshed, it was never popular vsdth the refined and 
 feeling; and, finally, it became attended with so much 
 danger, that I found it necessary, for self-protection, to 
 abandon it. 
 
 Once upon a time, being in Jamaica, Long Island, in 
 company with a friend, whose humor never ceased to flow 
 whenever opportunity afforded, we visited a farmer a few 
 miles from the town, who had that day missed a scythe, which 
 he suspected had been taken by a negro. Upon telling us 
 this, my companion naturally asked if it was not the same 
 negro who, a few minutes before, he had seen cautiously peep- 
 ing from the door of the barn. This put the farmer on the 
 qui {)ive, and rushing into the building, he heard quite dis- 
 tinctly some one beneatli the hay, and occasionally a stifling 
 noise, as if a person, intent on burying himself beyond 
 reach, was half choking. He at once caEed in two of his 
 laborers, and ordered them to fork off the hay, and to 
 catch the "black thief." The forks were at work, and 
 
ALMOST A CATASTROFShl. 141 
 
 shortly the cries and ejaculations from the culprit in the 
 hay began to grow more and more distinct, and the " don't, 
 master," was repeated in rapid succession. But the men 
 made the hay fly right and left, and scattered it in admirable 
 confusion over the floor, when suddenly the negro shrieked 
 "Murder! you have stuck the fork ia my leg. Oh, don't, 
 master! I'll give you back your scythe. Oh, murder! 
 murder ! " 
 
 "Catch the black rascal!" was the only reply of the 
 enraged farmer, who, in a full glow of excitement, was urg- 
 ing the capture of the supposed thief, until a couple of 
 tons of hay had been tossed on the floor. But the negro 
 was gaining groim.d, and was evidently ahead of the pitch- 
 forks. The window had been reached, and the door creaked 
 on its hinges ; then a noise of a heavy fall to the ground was 
 plainly heard, and a long and continued yaw ! yaw ! yaw ! — 
 such as a negro only can make— came ringing upon the ears 
 of the farmer and his two men, who, in an instant, springing 
 froin the mow, rushed into the open air, ready for a vigor- 
 ous seizing of the " villanous African ; " but, alas ! no person 
 was to be seen in any direction. 
 
 My friend and myself showed by the twinkling of our 
 eyes how much we enjoyed the effects of ventriloquism upon 
 the farmer and his two men. By degrees the truth began to 
 flash upon the mind of the benighted man that something 
 had occurred, but he scarcely knew what, except by the 
 confusion which had taken place in the hay, and the yaw ! 
 yaw ! of the supposed negro ringing in his ears. 
 
CHAPTEE XV. 
 
 PASSAGE TO BOSTON. 
 
 BMilSifWtlfHi -^VJ^-'^^ completed all my engagements in 
 tBPI 1 1 1 ' Ijlf-'} New York, I took passage on a steamer, 
 M^S^S ihKI ^^^ nearly four kmidred other passengers, 
 H'l 1 1 1 1 1 IhK ^^^ Boston, which was a greater number 
 ®^^y^g|^Yj of persons than I had previously seen col- 
 lected on board any one vessel. 
 
 An American steamer is -an excellent school for observa- 
 tion, and during the few hours I was on board, I obtained 
 more knowledge of the American character than in the four 
 months' previous residence in New York. 
 
 Immediately after the boat had left the wharf, nearly one 
 third of the male passengers assembled around the office of 
 the clerk to pay their passage-money, each struggling to be 
 first. But despatch being an active auxiliary in the Ameri- 
 can character, influences aU their actions, and is the uni- 
 versal motto of the country. In one part of the vessel were 
 grouped the merchant, politician, mechanic, and farmer, 
 discussing the condition of the people and affairs of the 
 nation — ^laws, trade, and general matters of interest ; others 
 were below in the cabin, engaged at cards ; others were at 
 the bar, indulging in liquor ; while numbers were seated at 
 tables, scattered over the immense saloon, deeply occupied 
 in readiug magazines, newspapers, and periodicals. On the 
 middle deck a printer was stationed with type and ink for 
 
A SOUND STEAMER. 143 
 
 stamping linen or printing cards ; a boy was wandering up 
 and down with canes and portfolios for sale. 
 
 In the ladies' saloon were grandmothers, mothers, daugh- 
 ters, infants and their nurses ; also a beautiful bride, appar- 
 ently under twenty years of age, accompanied by her brides- 
 maids, journeying to her new home, under the protection 
 of him to whom she had given her heart and hand, to par- 
 ticipate in every joy aid sorrow of the uncertain ftiture. 
 The sides of the boat were burdened with bales of cotton, 
 and thousands of boxes, casks, crates, stoves, baskets, cases, 
 demijohns, and other miscellaneous freight — a narrow pas- 
 sage through this immense freight being left open to the 
 bow of the boat — and upon many of these packages were 
 sleeping men, women, and children (deck passengers). Some 
 were lying prostrate upon the deck, in some small enclosure, 
 with their little all of furniture collected around them, while 
 forward were horses, private carriages, and other baggage. 
 The effect of all this incongruity gave much food for con- 
 templation, and to a stranger, like myself, appeared strange 
 and unnatural. The rules and regulations of the boat, 
 printed in large capital letters, suspended in a gUt frame, 
 appeared uncommonly singular. One of the rules read as 
 follows : 
 
 " Gentlemen are particularly requested not to sleep in 
 their berths with their boots on." 
 
 After my astonishment on reading this bootish notice 
 had somewhat subsided, I inquired of a gentleman if it was 
 customary for travellers in America to sleep in bed with 
 their boots on ? He replied that formerly such instances 
 were of frequent occurrence, but that of late yeai-s the prac- 
 tice had greatly diminished ; that he recollected an instance 
 of an indiyiduaL being in bed with his boots on, and when 
 requested to remove them, obstinately refused, and upon the 
 printed rales being produced, quaintly remarked " that the 
 
144 TBE GORMANDIZERS. 
 
 regulation did not apply to him, for he wore shoes ; " that, 
 finally, it became necessary to call upon the captain and 
 clerk of the boat in order to compel him to submit to the 
 requirements of decency. 
 
 The evening we left I^ew York was very stormy, and 
 the captaiu being a prudent commander, anchored for the 
 night opposite- !N^ew London. In the morning I arose early, 
 and rapidly paced the deck, enveloped in a bine cloth cloak, 
 for it was December, and bitterly cold. 
 
 Jn a Hurry to Reach Boston. 
 
 Breakfast at length being announced, I started for the 
 cabin, and on entering it, found much difficulty in obtaining 
 a seat at the tables, they being densely crowded ; but finally 
 succeeded in placing myself between two gentlemen — a posi- 
 tion that I soon found far from agreeable. The rapidity 
 with which they swallowed their tbod — ^being perfect gor- 
 mandizers — caused the most frequent evolutions from the 
 elbows of each, so that it required considerable attention in 
 watching their movements, ui order to protect myself from 
 receiving blows of considerable force in my side. Finding 
 no escape from their attack of arms, I sued for quarter, 
 entreating them to entertain some compassion for my per- 
 son. But the iudifference they manifested was equal to the 
 violence endured by the rapid exercise of the knives and 
 forks, their apology being — "Crowded boat; very little 
 room ; hurry to get to Boston, sir ; lots of people, but 1 
 guess you wiU get along, sir ; nothing when you are used 
 to it ! " 
 
 As all should possess the philosophy of submitting to 
 occurrences which are inconvenient and obnoxious, I took no 
 farther notice, but made the best progress I could. Observ- 
 ing some fried potatoes in a dish within reach of the person 
 on my left, I requested him to pass them. Making no at- 
 
JPERFECT SEIjFISSNBSS. 145 
 
 tempt to oblige me, I repeated my wish, when, half turning 
 his head, with a huge piece of meat on his fork, replied, — 
 
 " Excuse me, sir, but I am in a great hurry to get to 
 Boston ! " 
 
 When I consider the extent of my travels, and the 
 variety of society I have met with, I record with pleasure 
 the above as a solitary instance of the most perfect selfish- 
 ness. 
 
 Immediately after the morning meal, the boat pursued 
 her course, passing Point Judith, and having left a number 
 of passengers at Newport, we arrived at Providence, B. I., 
 landed at the depot, and in a few moments were seated in 
 the care. The hours I remained on this route allowed me 
 ample opportunity to reflect upon the extent and variety I 
 had witnessed in so short a period, combining men, man- 
 ners, peculiarities, and customs — national and original. I 
 was aroused from my reverie by the announcement of our 
 arrival at Boston, where, in a few days, I completed arrange- 
 ments for my exhibitions. The only place or hall available 
 was the Art Gallery, then occupied on Sundays by Abner 
 Kneeland and the Society of Freethinkers. 
 
 This room was admirably situated on Summer street, 
 the entrance being at the extreme end of the store of Jones, 
 Ball & Poor. 
 
 The popularity of my performances secured me large 
 and respectable audiences ; citizens and strangers crowded 
 the hall nightly for many months; and while there may 
 have existed a disposition on the part of some few persons 
 to be sceptical, or disposed to accuse and denounce me as 
 being identified with the powers of darkness, they made no 
 betrayal of their feelings or apprehensions. 
 
 At first I could not comprehend the pecuhar character- 
 istics of the Bostonians ; but I readily observed a striking 
 contrast between them and the citizens of New York. 
 
 r 
 
146 GOVERNOR BRIGGS, OF MASSACMUSETTS. 
 
 Boston was, comparatively, an old-fashioned English, city, 
 with crooked streets and short comers, difficult for strangers 
 to pursue their way without constantly inquiring their 
 whereabouts. The citizens had not yet commenced to 
 reveal their sagacity and capabilities for improvem^ent; 
 neither were the merchant princes or the practical minds 
 prepared for that progress which shortly followed ; but the 
 inhabitants were at this time noted for their manufacturing 
 and railroad enterprises, for their encouragement of the arts 
 and sciences, their institutions of learning, the homes they 
 had provided for the poor and afflicted, for their intellectual, 
 and moral character, and for all that was elevating and 
 refined. 
 
 A. Temperance Goyernoi^with a Bottle of 
 Whiskey. 
 
 One morning I paid my respects to Governor Briggs, at 
 the State House. I found him engaged in consultation 
 with several gentlemen, but he courteously arose from his 
 chair, expressed his pleasure at my call, and politely intro- 
 duced me to those present. 
 
 His excellency was very popular, with an unblemished 
 reputation, pure, and incorruptible, and was a leading and 
 earnest advocate of temperance, his public and private life 
 exemplifying the high moral, Christian gentleman. 
 
 In the course of an animated and interesting conversa- 
 tion, the governor made a special allusion to my profession, 
 complimenting the educational effect it had upon the age, 
 and the wonderful success with which it had corrected su- 
 pernatural belief. 
 
 As I was about leaving, he requested, as a personal 
 fiivor, that I would exhibit some trifling skill iji my art. 
 
 " Certainly," I replied ; " will any gentleman loan me a 
 hat?" 
 
TSE BOTTLE OF " OLD RTE." ' 147 
 
 " Take mine," said the governor, presenting it to me, 
 from whicli I immediately drew forth a bottle of whiskey, 
 labeUed " Old Eye." „ 
 
 At this, his excellency was not less astonished than 
 his friends ; and I doubt if more hearty laughing was ever 
 heard in the executive chamber. In the midst of the 
 merriment I remarked that " it was a bad omen for a tem- 
 perance advocate to be found with a bottle of liquor." The 
 governor good-naturedly answered, — 
 
 " True, Signor ; bad for my reputation, but brilliant for 
 yours." 
 
 Ji. Boston M.erchant. 
 
 Josiah Bradley was one of the wealthy merchants of 
 Boston, a liberal and popular gentleman of the old school, 
 a lover of mirth, with a pleasant smile for rich or poor. 
 
 At one of my entertainments I found considerable diffi- 
 culty in procuring a gentleman to assist me, especially as it 
 was requisite for the person to lend me his coat. No one 
 consentiag to appear, Mr. Bradley arose from his seat and 
 walked upon the platform, proffering his services by taking 
 off his coat and handing it to me, which I placed in a tripod, 
 with a number of detached pieces of red cloth. 
 
 In a few moments the coat was taken out, one half red, 
 the other black. Mr. Bradley immediately put it on, and 
 promenaded back and forth, to the great amusement and 
 laughter of aU assembled. I took the coat once more, and 
 passed it through a second process, and returned it in its 
 original condition, which Mr. Bradley put on and resumed 
 his seat, receiving long and loud applause, with immense 
 merriment. 
 
 The audience comprised the elite of the city, among 
 whom was the late Daniel "Webster, who not only enjoyed 
 the scene, but, at the close, shook hands with Mr. Bradley, 
 
148 SELLING GOODS UNDER DIFFICULTIES. 
 
 and congratiilated Tiim that it was not the State Prison 
 livery he had on. This little circumstance was the occasion 
 of much .conversation and laughter, and made my exhibi- 
 tions more popular than ever. 
 
 Faneuil Hall WLarket. 
 
 Shortly after my commencement, I made a visit to this 
 celebrated market, which at this time surpassed all others in 
 the country, not so much for the luxuries it supplied, as for 
 its cleanliaess, conveniences, regulations, and general re- 
 spectability. 
 
 There were also many other reasons for its celebrity, 
 and one, not the least, was the order everywhere observable, 
 and the intelligence of those occupying stalls. 
 
 After a pleasant ramble around, well pleased with what 
 I had seen, I ai'rived at the outside of the building, where 
 it was customary for the country people to display and dis- 
 pose of their produce. Seeing a barrel of apples, I inquired 
 the price. 
 
 " One fifty," said the owner. 
 
 "Are they as good as they appear?" said I, taking one 
 in my hand. 
 
 "Yes, sir; they are picked fruit." » 
 
 " I do not believe a word of that ! " seemingly spoke a 
 man, in a gruff voice, who had just stopped with a basket 
 of eggs. 
 
 "Neither do I!" said a tall, thin-looking woman, in 
 a squeaking tone, as she walked up to the apples, a basket 
 on each arm, — one containing a calf's head, and the other a 
 variety of vegetables. 
 
 " I do not care what you believe, sir, or what you think, 
 madam," answered the apple vender, looking angrily at the 
 fiarties. 
 
 At the close of the latter sentence, the loud cry of a 
 
BEELZEBUB'S WIFE. - 149 
 
 child proceeded from the barrel, which produced no little 
 amazement, all parties starting back with affright and sur- 
 prise. 
 
 The woman declared that any man who concealed a 
 child in a barrel of apples was a brute. 
 
 " That is my opinion," said the egg man. 
 
 Here the apple dealer protested against these insinua- 
 tions ; but, unfortunately, at this moment a cry of " Help ! 
 help ! take me out, I shall smother ! " came from the barrel. 
 
 " He is a villain ! " squeaked the woman, appealing to 
 the crowd that had in the meantime collected. 
 
 " Turn out the apples ! " said one. 
 
 "Upset the barrel ! " cried another. 
 
 " Send for the police ! " suggested a third. 
 
 " On my honor, there is no child among the fruit ! " ex- 
 claimed the countryman, evidently alarmed at the appear- 
 ance things were assuming; but he had scarcely spoken 
 these words, when the child was heard sobbing aloud. 
 
 " It will die ! " exclaimed several voices. 
 
 At the same moment the barrel was upset, the apples 
 rolliag in all directions, and, of course, no child found, 
 much to the comfort and joy of the owner, and disappoint- 
 ment of the lookers-on. 
 
 "Well, that is odd!" observed the woman; "we all 
 heard the child." 
 
 Here the calf's head iu her basket commenced blatiag, 
 which she immediately dropped with alarm, when the apple 
 man, who had been relieved from his difficulties, retorted 
 on his female accuser, by calling her " Beekebub's wife." 
 
 " I am no such person ! " 
 
 " Ton must be," said the egg man, as he stooped to take 
 the head, which again blated, when he quickly withdrew 
 his hand, to the amusement of all. 
 
 " She is a witch, and should be arrested ! " he exclaimed, 
 
150 REQUESTED TO SWALLOW MYSELF. 
 
 when he was again interrupted by the clucking of chickens 
 among his eggs. , \ 
 
 "Halloo! what is here?" cried he. "More witch's 
 work?" 
 
 " A fine feUow, you, to talk of witches," chuckled the 
 woman. 
 
 "Cluck, cluck, cluck," went the chickens; the calf's 
 head blating, and the child crying ; when, amidst this con- 
 fusion, the police appeared, and demanded the cause of the 
 disturbance; but immediately perceiving and recognizing 
 me, laughed uproariously, and pointing at me, shouted, — 
 
 " Halloo, Signer Blitz ! Up to your tricks, eh ? " 
 
 At the announcement of my name the people gave three 
 cheers, and separated. 
 
 Cambridge. 
 
 Long previous to the close of my engagement, I was in- 
 vited by several professors and students to visit this classic 
 location — the seat of Harvard University — ^noted for its 
 beautiful residences, and distinguished for its assemblage of 
 Uterabi. The people of Massachusetts, and the alumni of 
 the college, regard "The Institution" with much reverence 
 and pride, which they are fuUy justified in doing, for no 
 place in the country has been blessed with a more brilliant 
 combination of professors, or a collection of works more val- 
 uable and numerous. 
 
 My exhibitions were flatteringly successful. The ready 
 wit and volubiUty of the students at times elicited much 
 laughter, especially when written communications were 
 handed me, which I read aloud for the benefit of the audi- 
 ence. Some were exceedingly ludicrous, as the following: 
 
 " Signor Blitz is requested to swallow himself." . 
 
JUDGE STOUT. 151 
 
 I 
 
 Judge Story. 
 
 One of my patrons was Judge Story, who attended 
 the first evening, and the many times that I subsequently 
 appeared, seldom failed in being present. No one seemed 
 more amused and delighted than he; and it was his 
 usual habit to seat himself upon the front bench, surrounded 
 by boys, and when I was in need of their assistance, he 
 would urge them forward upon the platform. He always 
 came prepared with silTer and paper money to supply what 
 I might require for any special feat. 
 
 At the close of one of the entertainments, the judge told 
 me that he had laughed away much dull care and anxiety, 
 and on his return home he intended to write until morning, 
 for that nothing was so restorative to the braiu as a good, 
 hearty laugh. 
 
 The judge was a most agreeable man, his generous coun- 
 tenance and winning smile endearing him to friends and 
 strangers ; while ever ready with a humorous story, he could 
 not be otherwise than the favorite of all. 
 
 An Ajvierican General. 
 
 For a long time after my arrival in this country, nothing 
 surprised me so much as the number of titled persons I was 
 constantly introduced to. Every other man seemed to be 
 either a colonel, major, captain, doctor, judge, governor, or 
 deacon ! 
 
 When I considered how many of these were mechanics, 
 and in moderate circumstances in life — carpenters, shoemak- 
 ers, tailors, landlords, etc. — it was a pleasant feature to wit- 
 ness the simplicity with which these honors were appreciated. 
 Nevertheless, these distinctions are uncommonly ridiculous, 
 not so much from an inabihty to represent the duties, as the 
 frequent want of dignity to maintain them. "When I first 
 
152 AN AMERICAN GENERAL OF " OLDEN TIME." 
 
 visited Lynn, it was not, as at present, a busy and prosperous 
 city, but a flourishing town. The only place adapted for 
 public amusement was the Town Hall, to obtain which it 
 was necessary to apply to General DeWitt, the Chairman 
 of the Board of Selectmen, or town officers. Accordingly, 
 I procured his address, and started in search of his residence. 
 Not observing any house suitable in style for a general, I 
 inquired, and found I had passed it, and on retracing my 
 steps in company with the person, he pointed out a one- 
 story, dilapidated frame building, on entering which I ex- 
 pressed my desire to see General DeWitt. 
 
 " That is my name, sir," replied a stout, elderly gentle- 
 man, who, without coat, vest, or necktie, was occupied at a 
 bench cutting oiit shoes, his shirt-sleeves rolled up to his 
 shoulders, a pair of carpet slippers on his feet, and huge 
 round silver spectacles on his head, tied with a stout leather 
 string! 
 
 He politely granted my request, and I left him with a 
 new idea of, an American general's equipments! As all 
 titled positions in Europe are held with much etiquette and 
 dignity, I must admit my astonishment at his odd and busi- 
 ness-like dress, combined with plain and unsophisticated 
 manners. 
 
CHAPTEE XVI. 
 
 SALEM ^WrrOHCEAFT JlND SPIKITIjALISM. 
 
 . ILL any one think me incorrect 
 in saying, that of all the towns 
 and cities, in either the Old or 
 New World, there is none so cel- 
 ebrated for the extraordinary in- 
 , ^ fatuation, intolerance, and super- 
 
 ^. . v» ^ . ^^^JiM>- stition of its inhabitants as Salem ? 
 
 Witchcraft in New England was more potent and pre- 
 smnptuous in its principles, and far more serious in its sub- 
 sequent effect and consequences upon the public mind, than 
 in Europe, where persecution likewise prevailed with the 
 most imlimited license, without regard to the innocence or 
 guilt of the accused, or character and truth of the evidence. 
 Fanatical influences have invariably spread with electri- 
 cal rapidity, repudiating in their progress the judgment and 
 sense of those who are practical and sound, producing the 
 most lamentable and tragic results to the people at large. 
 
 All mankind are more or less superstitious, for it is a 
 part of our nature, and forms a powerful element in charac- 
 ter. From the earliest ages to the present time it has been 
 subservient to circumstances, — sometimes smouldering in 
 apathy, and at other periods awakened to fuiy by its pow- 
 ers. The senses are at aU periods predisposed to the promo- 
 tion of wonder and mystery, magnifying with immeasurable 
 belief the most unnatural events. 
 7* 
 
154 SISTOBT OF WITCHES. 
 
 In the Old Testament we find tlie Jews reveal their 
 prejudicial faith in soothsayers and astrologers, for which 
 they were rebuked and denounced by the prophets. 
 
 In the eighteenth chapter of Deuteronomy, Moses espe- 
 cially exhorts the people to avoid all communications and 
 consultations with familiar spirits, wizards, or necromancers. 
 
 Isaiah, in the twenty-ninth chapter, addresses the Jews 
 respecting a voice having been heard in a case of divina^ 
 tion. 
 
 The Saviour and His Apostles also jfrequently refer to the 
 ready confidence of the people toward those who pretended 
 to be gifted with supernatural powers, and strictly admon- 
 ished all who exercised them, condemning witches and wiz- 
 ards as aspiring to the wisdom of the Creator. 
 
 St. Paul, in the thirteenth chapter of Acts, punishes a 
 sorcerer with blindness, and in the sixteenth chapter follow- 
 ing, in alluding to a woman from whom he had removed a 
 familiar spirit, observed: "She is announced as a young 
 damsel possessed with the spirit of divination, which brought 
 her master much gain by soothsaying." 
 
 Josephus, the learned Jewish historian, to an extent 
 shows the Witch of Endor to have been a ventriloquist, 
 and consequently capable' of conveying (by her art) to Saul 
 the assumed replies from the shade of Samuel, the represen- 
 tation of which was most probably a phantasmagorial effect, 
 or some illusion to serve the object. 
 
 In the records of the ancients, mention is made of the 
 deceptions that existed in regard to supernatural inclinar 
 tions ; how those professing the spirit of doing good or bad, 
 and pretending to a knowledge of the past and future, were 
 countenanced by the people ; and even since the Christian 
 era, the mind has been much more perplexed and agitated 
 as to the truth of the demonstrations of wonder-workers. 
 In the thirteenth century Eoger Bacon was looked upon as 
 
SUPERSTITION. 155 
 
 a professor of magic, and recognized to be in direct commu- 
 nication with the emissaries of the devil, so mysterious were 
 his experiments. 
 
 In 1305, many educated people were burned at Padua. 
 In 14:80, Pope Innocent VIII. issued a bull, requiring the 
 arrest and imprisonment of aU people suspected of witch- 
 craft. From education and the early direction of our thoughts, 
 we derive more or less of the superstitious character with 
 which we are associated. But ignorance is, doubtless, the 
 positive foundation for all that is marvellous and unac- 
 countable, and it is thus conclusive, that the mind is the 
 stereopticon by which the objects we reflect upon are pho- 
 tographed, yet it is sm-prising that with all the capabilities 
 and advantages we enjoy, we find the people of the nine- 
 teenth century equally preposterous by their support and 
 recognition of Spiritualism, the professors of which pretend 
 to hold intercourse with the dead, and record the thoughts 
 of those within the realms of heaven, professing to receive 
 and convey communications between families and friends, 
 of a character as nonsensical to the understanding, as it is 
 offensive to the moral appreciation of the Divine law ; and 
 in principle and imposition, greater in delusion than the 
 witchcraft that existed in the various periods mentioned ; 
 for while we condemn the actors who participated iu these 
 dramas, we cannot do the injustice to accuse them of having 
 been interested and instigated by pecuniary rewards, as the 
 bold pretenders of the present fanaticism, who, singular to 
 state, are countenanced and defended by the intellectual and 
 wealthy, the example of which, to the ignorant, is danger- 
 ous and pernicious. 
 
 In all my perambulations, I never encountered such per- 
 verse people as the Spiritualists. BHnd to the convictions 
 of truth, and uneompromisiag in their belief of phenomena, 
 they defend fiction, and -emphatically ignore the Divine 
 
156 SPIRITUALISM. 
 
 laws. Their principles not only conflict ■with the doctrines 
 of aU religion, bnt invade the domestic happiness of homes 
 and peace of families to an alarming extent, the character 
 of which has estahHshed nothing tangible in science, or, on 
 investigation, to encourage or satisfy the inquirer, and the 
 whole subject is unprofitable and dangerous. It is truly 
 but a factitious effort to combat and unsettle the laws 
 which God, in Bjs wisdom, has proclaimed as eternal. 
 
 The wonders they profess to accomplish, and the extra- 
 ordinary miracles they witness, are more the effusions of an 
 impaired brain, than any real, earnest desire to impose on the 
 world. This, however, may be qualified in a measure, in 
 regard to those who are interested from pecuniary motives. 
 These persons generally disturb the mind, by announcing 
 the most fabulous events as having taken place, so there 
 can be but httle reliance placed on what they do and ex- 
 press. But the wild and absurd scenes fi-equently related 
 by those innocent of guile and imposition, betray a power- 
 ful evidence of how effectually the imagination converts the 
 senses. 
 
 What special good has Spiritualism provided since its 
 advocacy to the present time ? Who can designate a solitary 
 practical advantage mankind has reahzed from its doctrines, 
 or what are the solutions to the manifestations and inter- 
 views experienced with the departed ? 
 
 "So disciple of the theory, however capable or learned, 
 can explain or enhghten even themselves, or explain what 
 power or force these pretended wonders emanate fi-om, or 
 the demonstrations they behold and undertake. 
 
 Indeed, the source from whence these declarations orig- 
 inate, are so completely at variance with reason, that it ac- 
 counts for the ridicule so unhesitatingly lavished upon aU 
 matters pertaining to the invisible world, in the sense of 
 Spiritualism, for it is totally injppssible that any rational 
 
MONOMANIACS. 157 
 
 Intellect can admit the power and wisdom of the Supreme 
 Enler to be called into requisition at any time, for the most 
 trifling purposes. 
 
 Man has always been a lover of the marvellous, suscep- 
 tible of conversion to every extreme policy that combines 
 novelty and mystery ; and the eifect of Spiritualism on the 
 mind has a powerful tendency to disturb the thinking facul- 
 ties, and engender the fruits of insanity. Very few escape 
 its allurements ;' the very best of citizens have become mar- 
 tyi's to its folly, either as monomaniacs or lunatics. 
 
 The estimated number of Spiritualists in the United 
 States, it is surprising to say, is one million ; the greater 
 portion of whom are invalids, or of a temperament better 
 known as wanting in a positive strength of mind : a class 
 that are dreaihy and inactive in their propensities, — ^more 
 ethereal than sublunary. The result of this infatuation has 
 unfortunately deprived many hundreds of their reason, who 
 have been necessitated to find a home and protection (on 
 account of this peculiarity of thought) in the asylums, — a 
 melancholy and final proof of its detrimental operation 
 upon the brain ; and yet, with all these accumulated facts 
 in regard to its alarming tendencies, it has not been dimin- 
 ished in its worshippers, nor has it destroyed the faith of 
 those who are still occupied in promulgating its teachings in 
 every portion of the country. What a sad reflection, that, 
 with all the intelligence of the age, the infirmities of mankind 
 should be so conspicuously inclined to grasp a shadow ! 
 
 The subject of Spiritualism has no foundation to recom- 
 mend itself to the attention of the student, or the researches 
 of the masses. It has nothing of a scientific or philosophi- 
 cal bearing to support its claim as a modern discovery. It 
 never can reflect a particle of good upon the destiny of the 
 human race. And what, then, must be the result of its 
 teachings, and of its extravagant assurance to penetrate into 
 
158 THE SUV. JOBN PRINCE, D.D. 
 
 the Creator's privacy, and make Him accessory to tlieir in- 
 sulting impositions? 
 
 That the majority of Spiritualists are sincere in their 
 belief, I will not deny; indeed, I unhesitatingly admit such 
 to be the fact, but the acknowledgment is no excuse for 
 their singular views and positive complicity with those, 
 who, by artificial means, delude the masses, for it is known 
 beyond contradiction that philosophical instrument makers 
 have been employed in manufacturing spirit-rapping tables 
 and magnets for the production of concealed sounds, which 
 are a^-ranged in the halls, or under the floor, in the most in- 
 genious manner, to produce the raps at the wiU of the opera- 
 tor. That we hve in an age of progress and extraordinary 
 discoveries in science, and useful inventions, all will con- 
 cede ; but in seeking to enter the shades of death, and the 
 heavenly realms, to give vitality to inanimate objects, we 
 undertake what we cannot perform. It is a great undertak- 
 ing to comprehend our own destiny in this life, to adapt 
 our capacities to a proper and faithful development of them, 
 but let us not endeavor to ravel that which is not only 
 above comprehension, but forbidden. Such is Spiritualism. 
 
 Rey. pi\^ John Prince. 
 
 "When I first visited Salem, it was my good fortune to be 
 introduced to the Eeverend Dr. Prince, a very learned and 
 talented divine, and the inventor of the American Air-Pump, 
 with many other useful additions to the arts and sciences. 
 At the time I became acquainted with him he had arrived 
 at the venerable age of eighty years, and was then the pastor 
 of the First Unitarian Church, over which he had been the 
 faithful shepherd for fifby-three years. 
 
 His mind was clear and unimpau-ed, and, with the ex- 
 ception of a slight physical debility, was in good health and 
 condition. 
 
INTERVIEWS WITH THE DOCTOR. 159 
 
 The doctor was greatly interested in my art, and seldom 
 failed during onr many pleasant interviews to urge me to 
 astonish him with some one of my favorite tricks. His 
 admiration was philosophical, and for the moment he would 
 reflect and reason, and ultimately explain the principle by 
 which I accomplished the deception, and then he would en- 
 large upon' the relation of modern magic, with the intelli- 
 gence of the times, and describe its usefulness and moral 
 influences on the mind. 
 
 He related to me many amusing instances of superstition 
 on the part of the citizens of Salem, which he had witnessed, 
 and assured me that if I had made my appearance at Salem, 
 in the early part of his ministry, I would have been sub- 
 jected to serious trials, my exhibitions prohibited, and 
 myself personally expelled. 
 
 In corroboration of his views he stated the following 
 remarkable incident pertaining to himself: 
 
 Producing Fire from Glass. 
 
 The summer after his connection with the Church, he 
 imported the first electrifying machine that came to the 
 country, and iu the fall of the year, at the close of a Sabbath 
 service, announced his intention of delivering a lecture on 
 chemistry and electricity, studies to which he was ardently 
 devoted. 
 
 On the appointed evening there was a large attendance, 
 and the doctor illustrated his lecture by producing the electric 
 spark, and many other experiments of a similar character, 
 which appeared so marvellous and alarmingly incomprehensi- 
 ble to many present, that a large number of the male 
 audience arose ia haste and hurried their families from the 
 church, looking at the doctor, as they made their exit, vtdth 
 eyes distended with horror. The lecturer continued his 
 discourse until the close, when the remaining company, 
 
160 PEODJJCING FIBE FROM GLASS. 
 
 composed of clergymen, doctors, lawyers, and private 
 gentlemen of intellectual miads, collected to discuss the 
 motives which induced the parties to leave the church. 
 Some ascribed it to ignorance, others to a want of interest, 
 and some to other causes. A few ^days following, a party 
 of gentlemen waited upon the doctor at his residence, and 
 informed him that at a meeting held the previous day by 
 his parish, they were delegated as a committee to communi- 
 cate to him their anxious desire to dissolve the connection 
 between himself and the Society. On hearing which, the 
 doctor manifested the utmost surprise, and desired an expla- 
 nation for so sudden a resolve. 
 
 "Well, doctor, the dissatisfaction arises from the wicked 
 power you exercised at your lecture ; in fact, sir, your con- 
 gregation consider a man who extracts fire from glass, as 
 totally unworthy to have charge of their moral and spiritual, 
 welfare." 
 
 The doctor remarked, "that they had misinterpreted his 
 lecture, that he had only defined causes and effects, and the 
 same knowledge was practicable to all who became proficient 
 in the science." This, however, did not satisfy the commit- 
 tee, so urgent were they for his removal, by reason of their 
 ignorance and superstition. 
 
 "Well, gentlemen, give this matter serious consideration 
 for a few days, and probably you will change your views," 
 said the doctor, on terminating the interview. 
 
 The matter became of general interest to the inhab- 
 itants ; but by the influence of the more intelligent, the 
 doctor's practical efforts triumphed over the superstition of 
 his flock. 
 
 Salem contained numerous mementos of the wonderful 
 and terrible events alluded to. In the court-house were pre- 
 served iron bolts, nails, and pins, with the depositions of the 
 accusers. These instruments of torture were said to have 
 
OPENING A WSir MARKET. 101 
 
 been extracted from the flesh of the bewitched, and were 
 produced as evidence against those who were so unfor- 
 tunate as to be pronounced witches. The method of estab- 
 lishing the guilt of the accused was singular, and ofttimes 
 proved fatal to the parties, for they were frequently thrown 
 into the river, — ^if they swam ashore they were unfortunately 
 condemned as witches and wizards, and were immediately 
 sentenced to be hung; if, however, the poor creatures 
 drowned, they were not regarded as such. In either case, 
 their lives were sacrificed. 
 
 Codfish Aristocracy of JVLarblehead. 
 
 A few miles distant from Salem was the small and inter- 
 esting town of Marblehead, where I made my next appear- 
 ance. 
 
 The inhabitants of this place are, to a great extent, 
 dependent on the fisheries, generous in nature, and a hardy 
 race, well adapted to the locality. 
 
 I gave my exhibitions at the Academy, and I must here 
 relate an incident which will, in a measure, illustrate the 
 peculiarities of the people. 
 
 During the day of my performance, numbers inquired if 
 I intended to receive fish — the merchandise of the place — ^in 
 jjaymont for a ticket, or the admission fee. To this I re- 
 plied, no, I could not. When the hour arrived for com- 
 mencing, there was scarcely a dozen persons present, while 
 hundreds were collected outside. On observing to the door- 
 keeper my surprise and disappointment, he remarked that 
 if I would take fish in payment, he could fill the room in a 
 few minutes ; to which I consented. This fact being com- 
 municated to the assembled crowd, caused a general disper- 
 sion, but they soon returned laden with one or two fish, of 
 •the value of the ticket. To my astonishment the house was 
 soon crowded to overflowing. The following evening the 
 
162 TAKING LODGINGS IN THE POQR-SOUSE. 
 
 attendance was equally large, all parties bringing the neces- 
 sary amount of fish to procure admission. Preyious to my 
 leaving, I disposed of more than two cart-loads of fish to a 
 merchant of the town. 
 
 A similar circumstance has probably never- taken place 
 in the history of amusements, and notwithstanding my 
 Marblehead friends have since experienced considerable 
 chagrin that their mercantile traffic at the ticket-office had 
 become known abroad, it does no dishonor to their integrity 
 or worth. 
 
 A. Lodging at the Expense of the Town. 
 
 Perhaps of all the numerous and laughable incidents in 
 my professional career, none was more so than that with 
 which I was connected at Braintree, in Massachusetts. 
 
 The day was an exceedingly stormy one ; the snow had 
 fallen the previous night to a great depth, and, the Town 
 Hall, at which place I was advertised to give my entertain- 
 ments, was located a mile from the hotel, which distance, 
 with bad walking, prevented me from taking my regular 
 meals. 
 
 After the close of the evening's entertainment, which was 
 witnessed by a numerous company, I concluded to content 
 myself with a lodging on a settee, especially as the night 
 was cold, and there was an ample supply of fael. The 
 janitor, observing me maldng preparations for sleeping, 
 said he would be happy to accommodate me with a bed. 
 I accepted his offer, and in a few moments accompanied 
 him to a large and spacious building, where I was shown to 
 a neatly furnished bedroom. At the break of day, I was 
 awakened by numerous footsteps and loud talking, but 
 could not conjecture the character of the place. At last I 
 arose, and when the breakfast bell sounded, partook of an 
 excellently cooked meal, and having eaten but little the 
 
GOING WEST ON A OANAL PACKET. 163 
 
 previous day, it may well be supposed I did not deny my- 
 self any of the good things provided. When I was about 
 taking my leaye, I inquired the amount of my indebtedness 
 of the janitor. 
 
 " Oh, nothing," he replied. " There is no charge." 
 
 " How is that, sir ? I expect to pay." 
 
 " Why, you have been entertained at the expense of the 
 town. This is the poor-house, Signor Blitz ! " 
 
 "The poor-house?" 
 
 " Yes, the poor-house ; and you will always receive a 
 welcome here, Signor." ^ 
 
 My readers will naturally conclude I was astonished at 
 being an inmate of the town asylum ; my temporary abode, 
 however, was pleasant, to say the least ; for a softer bed or 
 more palatable breakfast I never enjoyed, and only hope that 
 all who may become necessitated to seek food or shelter from 
 the parish bounty, may experience the like good fortune. 
 
 I appeared in all the towns and villages of importance 
 in this State, New Hampshire, Maine, and Connecticut, 
 being the recipient of much attention, and meeting with 
 good success. I could but admire, everywhere, the pros- 
 perity and progress of an industrious and intelligent people, 
 marked for their moral, energetic, and persevering charac- 
 ter, eager as they were earnest in those pursuits which con- 
 tribute to the greatness and improvement of the age. 
 
 This is but a just tribute to Yankee character ; for, po- 
 litically, intellectually, scientifically, and inventively, the 
 New England people are surpassingly distinguished. 
 
 Li the course of my progress West, in the spring season, 
 I found it convenient to take passage in a canal packet, at 
 that time a popular mode of travel. The passengers were 
 numerous, and a greater incongruity of character could not 
 have been assembled. The discussions on politics, law, re- 
 ligion, and commerce, were highly entertaining, and sig- 
 
164 A LAUGSABLE FEAT. 
 
 nificantly instructive ; the social distinctions were also not 
 less perceptible. 
 
 Immediately upon the discovery of my profession, a 
 polite and earnest appeal was made for me to give an enter- 
 tainment in the evening. Finding it impossible to with- 
 stand the solicitations, I consented. The long, narrow 
 cabin of the boat was not available to exercise my art to 
 any startling eflfect, and so I selected those displays which, 
 if less in representation, were more lasting in impression. 
 
 A M.iNisTEi\_iN Trouble. 
 
 One of my fellow-travellers was an orthodox divine, of 
 strong puritanical predilections, serious in demeanor as he 
 was reverential in countenance. During the exhibition, he 
 gazed upon me with an indignant surprise that attracted 
 'every eye. At each feat he would exclaim, " Wonderful ! 
 remarkable ! surprising ! " and expressed his firm belief that 
 the kingdom of heaven would be closed against me. One 
 of the audience — a wag — perceiving the reverend gentle- 
 man's amazement, procured from the steward of the boat a 
 silver teaspoon, and, by the assistance of one of the com- 
 pany, dropped it into the coat-pocket of the gentleman. 
 
 "When about to close, I stated my tricks were all decep- 
 tive, and their success depended less upon the rapidity of 
 execution than on the absence of the sight to the object at 
 the precise moment, which was invariably caused by the 
 talk of the performer ; but there was one of the company 
 whose tricks savored more of mystery than did mine, and 
 though silently performed, had not escaped my observation. 
 I also stated that I referred to the reverend gentleman; and 
 to satisfy the spectators that he was as much a juggler as 
 myself, I requested him to remove from his pocket the 
 silver spoon he had so adroitly secreted. 
 
 Here all looked at the clerical individual with intense 
 
INTERVIEW WITS PRESIDENT FILL3I0BE. 165 
 
 meiTunent, as he arose to protest his innocence. " Feel in 
 yonr pocket!" was the simultaneous demand. This he 
 proceeded to do, and immediately drew forth the spoon, 
 with evident nervousness. The applause was boisterous, 
 and when it subsided, the clergyman found breath to de- 
 nounce me as the personification of Satan himself. 
 
 Millard Fillmore was also a passenger, then on his re- 
 turn from his first session at Congress. He was a pleasing 
 and affable gentleman, respected and admired for his bland 
 and courteous demeanor, and appeared highly to enjoy the 
 scene ia the cabin. Some years afterward, I was exhibiting 
 at Washington, when he was the executive of the nation, 
 and took the opportunity to pay my respects to him. The 
 interview was a very agi-eeable one, during which he re- 
 marked, " Little did I expect, Signor, when travelling with 
 you on the canal, I should ever become the President of the 
 United States." 
 
 I continued my western tour to the remote parts of the 
 country, performing ia all the principal cities and towns 
 with my usual unexampled success. The residents of the 
 then " Far West," did not enjoy the facilities and advan- 
 tages of the present day. Their communications and busi- 
 ness transactions with the older States were long and tedi- 
 ous; the conveniences which add comfort and produce 
 refinement were not available ; yet, while occasionally the 
 polished emigrant might be discovered, the people as a 
 whole were intelligent, though rough and uncultivated, but 
 a degree of happiness prevailed through their arduous 
 duties. The condition of all new settlers is varied, and 
 fraught with incident; for, limited in society, and absent 
 from the common attractions of life, they necessai-ily en- 
 counter many hardships. This endurance is combatted with 
 zealous efforts, accompanied with a cheei-fulness of disposi- 
 tion, admirably worthy of emulation. Surely, such advan- 
 
166 
 
 THE GREAT WEST. 
 
 tages for man as the Great "West afforded, coiild' not other- 
 wise than attract, as it has done, not only the natives of the 
 jSTew World, but a large niunber from foreign shores, who 
 were developing, in an energetic manner, the immense re- 
 sources of their adopted land ; since which, new states, ter- 
 ritories, cities, and increase of population have accompa- 
 nied the prosperity of the country. 
 
 The immense products ammally exported, with vast in- 
 ternal improvement in the arts and sciences, navigation on 
 the lakes,- and transportation by rail, testify to the enterprise 
 of the inhabitants of the Great "West. 
 

 *. ^.gsiiS*-'- 
 
 
 WESTWARD, HOI 
 
CHAPTEE XVn. 
 
 INCIDENTS AND ADYKNTXTEES IN PHILADELPHIA. 
 
 EET ■well pleased with my visit to tlie 
 "West, I returned to New York, and 
 accepted liberal terms from Mr. Mael- 
 zel, the proprietor of the celebrated 
 Automaton Chess-player, the Burning 
 of Moscow, the Automaton Trumpeter, 
 and the "Wonderful Eope-dancer, with 
 other musical and mechanical myste- 
 ries, to visit Philadelphia, and appear in conjunction with 
 his entertainment, which he gave in a new hall, on the 
 northeast comer of Eighth and Chestnut streets. 
 
 This city was then large and flourishing, second in the 
 Union for population and the importance of its trade, and 
 highly admired for its cleanliness, regularity of streets, the 
 neatness of its private dwellings, and also for the symmetri- 
 cal squares which characterize the Quaker taste. 
 
 It contained numerous historical mementos, reminis- 
 cences, and associations connected with Penn, Franklin, and 
 other learned and wise men of the olden times. 
 
 I found Philadelphia a model city; her markets — un- 
 equalled — were supplied from the rich and fruitful counties 
 in the immediate neighborhood, and those of Delaware and 
 New Jersey. , 
 
 It also afforded admirable facilities and advantages for 
 poor people : small and neat residences, with every conven- 
 
i68 . NOT "SSENTEEL" to LAUGH TOO LOUD. 
 
 ienee, were especially built for this class, so that it was a 
 rare instance to find two families occupying the same house 
 — ^a significant contrast to other large cities. 
 
 Pennsylvania is possessed of vast and important natural 
 advantages, with mineral resom'ces not less varied than un- 
 bounded — surpassing all calculation. It may be presumed 
 that Philadelphia could not otherwise than increase and 
 prosper, and what she must ultimately arrive at, when time 
 fully developes this great wealth, the mind can scarce 
 imagine. 
 
 The Great Automaton Chess-Playef^ 
 
 Our success was ample and flattering. Mi*. Maelzel was 
 a native of Germany — a, large, phlegmatic man, extremely 
 irritable, yet very kind, and he displayed great taste and 
 .refinement in all his arrangements, without regard to cost. 
 
 " It must be correct," was his constant observation. 
 
 At the close of my first evening he came to me, and 
 placing his immense hands on my shoulders, said, — 
 
 " My dear Blitz, you are an excellent performer, but you 
 must not make the people laugh so much. It is not shen- 
 teel to make them ha! ha! They laugh too loud; that's 
 not shenteel." 
 
 At the breakfast-table the following moi'ning, and dur- 
 ing' the day, he often reminded me not to forget his advice 
 to "make the audience laugh shenteel." When the hour 
 announced for opening the door in the evening arrived, he 
 was whispering in my eai-, " Eemember to make them laugh 
 shenteel. Blitz, and not them big ha! ha! ha's!" When 
 the curtain rose he disposed of himself in one comer, and 
 there remained the whole time I was before the company, 
 and whenever they became merry he would whisper, '' Blitz, 
 Blitz, there's too much laughing ha ! ha ! Make it shenteel." 
 And so he continued during my engagement, urging me t<j 
 
THE AUTOMATON. 169 
 
 control the muscles and risibles of my audience — incessantly 
 enjoining me to make the people laugh "shenteel." 
 
 Maelzel was a man of splendid attainments as a me- 
 chanic and musician, a fine linguist, and superior mathema- 
 tician. The latter was absolutely an important auxiliary to 
 the success of the chess-player. Enjoying superior knowl- 
 edge of the game himself, he was fully capable of antici- 
 pating with almost certainty the success or defeat of his 
 famed automaton. To those acquainted with his peculiari- 
 ties, there could always be formed an idea of the state and 
 prospect of the game; for when Schlomberg — ^being the 
 absolute chess-player concealed in the figure — was non cotti- 
 ;pos from the effects of wine, Maelzel' s fingers became elec- 
 trified and telegraphic, plainly interpreting defeat; and these 
 sym bols never failed to indicate adverse results. Schlomberg 
 was very accomphshed — could " talk French, German, Eng- 
 lish, Spanish, and Italian with great fluency; most unob- 
 trusive in his manners, with little or no dignity in his per- 
 sonal appearance. His position was a responsible one, for 
 he superintended the out-door business, and in a great 
 degree directed the exhibitions. 
 
 Occasionally his love of genial companionship would 
 betray him into habits of indulgences which, however slight, 
 unfitted him to compete with the masterly minds opposed 
 to him in the game, yet there were instances, strange to 
 say, when under the influence of stimulants, he would tri- 
 umph over his adversary. Maelzel and Schlomberg were, 
 in their time, the great living representatives of chess; their 
 hearts and feelings were so identified with the game that 
 they dreamed of it by night and practised it by day. At 
 every meal, and in aU intervals, a portable chess-board was 
 before them ; they ate, drank, and played, while not a word 
 escaped their lips. It was a quiet, earnest, mental combat, 
 and the anxiety of every pause or move was defined in each 
 
170 THE CITESS-PLATER. 
 
 countenance, their features revealing what the tongue did 
 not express. 
 
 The chess-player was ingeniously constructed — & perfect 
 counterpart of a magician's trick-table, with a variety of par- 
 titions and doors, which, while they removed every possible 
 appearance of deception, only produced greater mystery, 
 and provided more security to the invisible player. The 
 drawers and closets were so arranged as to enable him to 
 change his position according to circumstances: at one 
 moment he would be in this compartment; the next, in 
 that; then in the body of the Turk, which permitted 
 Maelzel to open all parts at one time ; when the figure was 
 vacated he directed special attention to its skeleton charac- 
 ter. There was a considerable display of superbly-finished 
 machinery in the box or ball, of a complicated appearance, 
 which diverged in various directions, the object of this 
 being to distract attention, and impress the mind with the 
 conviction that the mystery was in the mechanism. In this 
 opinion I am confirmed by Maelzel himself, who, whenever 
 he perceived the probability of defeat, withdrew the chess- 
 player, stating to the audience that the machinery was out 
 of order. 
 
 The attention that was created by its appearance and 
 success has never been equalled by any invention. Not 
 only the lovers of the game, but those of refinement in all 
 parts of the world, were interested in the highest degree. 
 It was an enigma, which even to this day, with all the ex- 
 planations, has lost but little of its novelty ; yet it has al- 
 ways been a wonder to me how the public, upon reflection, 
 could seriously entertain the idea that a machine could com- 
 pete with the human intellect. 
 
 In the winter following I met Maelzel in Havana, Cuba. 
 He had visited the city previously, and was highly successful ; 
 but this, his second venture, tenninated most unfortunately. 
 
MORUS lHULTICAfJLIS. l*?! 
 
 for his biismess failed, his exhibitions were less attended, 
 while his pecuniary matters became desperate and gloomy. 
 While thus discouraged and surrounded by difficulties, 
 Sehlomberg died of a fever. Maelzel was now an old man, 
 reduced in circumstances and involved in debt, obstacles 
 imknown to him before; his pride and spirit could not 
 battle with the change. He secured a passage for Pliiladel- 
 phia, but grief produced a severe illness, which terminated 
 in death dmihg the voyage. Poor man ! he was buried in 
 the sea, and his effects sold at auction, to liquidate the cost 
 of passage and other claims. The chess-player was pur- 
 chased by several liberal gentlemen , as a memento of the 
 renown it had acquired in Europe and this country, and 
 was occasionally used by amateur players in its original 
 capacity, until it was destroyed by fire at the Chinese 
 Museum. 
 
 The trumpeter is now in the possession of a Philadel- 
 phia gentleman, and by his Mnd permission appeared under 
 my'dii-ection at the Great Central Fair, located in Logan 
 square. 
 
 My next engagement was at McArran's Garden, a spa- 
 cious and popidar resort, capable of containing many thou- 
 sand people. The proprietor was a native of Ireland, and 
 an active politician, which gave him considerable influence 
 among his coimtrymen. At this time the ^norus muUicaulis 
 engaged all nainds and pockets; fortunes were made in the 
 morning and lost ere evening; many became rich, but 
 more poor, the same day ; speculators knew no bounds ; so 
 fabulous were the reports of the realization of great wealth 
 by this and that person, that many were induced to invest 
 their all, in the hope of obtaining a hxmdredfold in return. 
 1^0 class could resist the temptation of embarking in the 
 general speculation. McAiTan was deeply interested. I 
 remember his taking me to look at a field of some acres 
 
172 TBE BEAUTIFUL LADT. 
 
 planted witlx the trees, and his remarking he had refused an 
 offer of fifteen thousand dollars for them. I inquired what 
 he expected to receive ? He replied, " Double that amount ; " 
 but his hopes ^iled, for in a few days following the bubble 
 exploded, and he not only lost all he had invested, but seri- 
 ously involved himself. Not unlike the petroleum era, it 
 produced ruin and desolation in homes where comfort and 
 plenty had previously reigned. 
 
 I next occupied Masonic Hall, and afterward the lecture- 
 room in the Chinese Museum, where I remained many years, 
 enjoying the patronage of all classes, until its destruction by 
 fire. I next opened at the Columbia House, and in a short 
 time removed to the Assembly Building, where I have con- 
 tinued to exhibit at intervals for a long period. * 
 
 My business success has been triumphant. All the 
 above halls were limited in space, so that nightly many 
 could not obtain admission. I have, I believe, gained the 
 respect of all, and the iU-will of none ; and I can number 
 among my personal friends many, very many, of the first 
 citizens of Philadelphia. 
 
 There are many interesting incidents connected with my 
 professional and social interco^-se in the city of Philadel- 
 phia, during these years, now long since buried in the past, 
 a few of which I will transcribe from memory as accurately 
 as possible. 
 
 J^ Truant Wusband. 
 
 During an engagement at the Chinese Museum, I was 
 attracted by a lady who was a constant visitor at my per- 
 formances. Her face was of singular beauty, Grecian in 
 model, with finely-formed features of classic shape. No 
 smile lighted her handsome countenance — not even when 
 the whole audience was convulsed with laughter, could the 
 slightest cheerfulness be observed to animate her. It was 
 
TBB DESERTED WIFE. 173 
 
 apparent some sad and hidden secret was destroying the 
 happiness of her heart, and overwhehning that peace of 
 mind so miich desired by us all. 
 
 At the close of one of my evening exhibitions she re- 
 mained until after the audience had retired, and requested 
 a few moments' interview, at the same time looking around 
 with cautious apprehension lest we should be disturbed ; and 
 trusting, she said, to my generous honor to excuse the pres- 
 ent step, and keep secret what she disclosed. 
 
 "My story, Signor, is a sorrowful one; no tongue, how- 
 ever eloquent, could express the anguish I have experienced. 
 Human nature- when provoked beyond endurance, operates 
 in all the wild emotions of the imagination. 
 
 "At the early age of sixteen I loved and became the 
 fiance of one I deemed worthy of my heart's warmest af- 
 fection. Our joys were mutual ; the sun was not brighter 
 than our anticipations. We truly existed for each other, and 
 time was annihilated by the bright vision of the future. 
 We married, and lived for years happily in the society of 
 each other; but alas ! too soon,oui' bliss was changed to griet^ 
 for Edmond, the chosen of my youthful affection, attracted 
 by the fascinations of the gay and festive world, became 
 enamored with the sparkling wit and silvery laugh of one 
 whose vows bound her to another. Day by day his affec- 
 tions were weaned from me, the rightful possessor of his 
 heart, and he seemed only to live for her, the gay and 
 brilliant devotee of fashion. My love, my entreaties, were of 
 no avail ; this syren had estranged him in the very meshes 
 of her existence — and now, Signor Bhtz, I am alone in the 
 dreary world, an orphan, deserted by my husband, with no 
 one to look to for love or protection. Tou may consider it 
 unwomanly in one, a stranger, to intrude upon you in this 
 manner with a tale of domestic grief, but you know Edmond 
 personally, and that, combined with your reputation for 
 
174 SEEKING FOR HEB HUSBAND. 
 
 necromancy, leads me to seek your aid in regaining the love 
 I have lost. Yovl, with your potent spells, can most assuredly 
 work the charm of returning a truant heart to its original 
 love." 
 
 "Madam," I replied, "I Mly appreciate your feelings, 
 and sympathize with yon in your suffering, but I do not 
 possess the ability to afford the relief you desire. True, I 
 am a magician, but my art does not pertain to matters of 
 the heart. The one to whom you refer is an acquaintance 
 of mine, yet I have no magical influence over the personal 
 feelings of any friend whatever. I promise you, however, my 
 aid in all natural, not magical means, to restore to you the 
 object of your love." 
 
 Here her disappointment was visible in the increasing 
 gloom of her countenance ; she had evidently depended so 
 much on my reputation as a magician, that she believed me 
 capable at once of restoring the lost love. After some 
 moments of hesitation she arose, and urged me to employ 
 all my powers, natural, magical, or otherwise, in her behalf, 
 and bade me adieu with mingled feelings of relief and anx- 
 iety in her expression. Previous to her leaving, however, 
 I requested her to meet me at the same place, the next 
 afternoon, at four o'clock. 
 
 Early the next morning, I directed my steps to the office 
 of Edmond, who, although young, had for some years been a 
 distinguished medical practitioner. Gifted with great natu- 
 ral attainments, combined with the advantages of a careful 
 and pohshed education, brilliant in his acqiiirements, he had 
 obtained a popularity that few possessed ; but the intoxica- 
 tion of social life had surrounded him, and disturbed his 
 domestic relations. I found him so deeply engaged with a 
 patient, that I entered unperceived and seated myself. In 
 the course of a few moments the gentleman retired, when I 
 received a hearty welcome. After a desultory conversa- 
 
^ SAPPY SEUNION. 175 
 
 tion, I commenced tlie subject of my visit, wMcli required 
 great prudence and management. I stated to loim that the 
 spirit of his love — one whose image must be engraven upon 
 his heart — had revealed itself to me in an angelic form — a 
 vision, a dream, of purity and beauty. 
 
 "Who, Signor — who is the lovely being you describe ? is 
 it an optical illusion, or a romance?" 
 
 "It is not one or the other : it is a real, tangible being." 
 
 "And interested in me, Signor?" 
 
 "Yes, immeasurably so." 
 
 "Can I see her?" 
 
 "Yes, if you will meet me at my hall a few minutes past 
 four this afternoon, I will iatroduce you." 
 
 He promised to do so, impressed with the belief that I 
 was about to play upon him one of my magical or ventrilo- 
 quial tricks. 
 
 Pleased with my success so far, I attended to the duties 
 of the day, waiting impatiently for the hour to arrive. 
 
 At the appointed time Mrs. presented herself. I 
 
 explained my interview with her husband, and his desire to 
 be present, "which will be instantly." These words had 
 scarcely escaped my lips, when the door opened and he 
 entered, '^o artist could picture his confusion, or her 
 touching expression ; suffice it to state that the surprise had 
 accomplished my purpose. 
 
 With open arms he embraced the devoted one, and, in 
 broken sentences, renewed his former love and vows to 
 return to his allegiance. The scene was a most happy one ; 
 their countenances beamed with pleasure, and joy, and 
 honor to come. Both thanked me with feelings of grati- 
 tude, and went their way a wiser and happier couple. Time 
 has since proved him worthy of her purest affections. Need 
 I assert the pleasure I realized by this singular event, and 
 its agreeable termination was highly gratifying to me. 
 
176 UNCEBTAINTIES OF TBE LAW. 
 
 A Prophecy. 
 
 During the existence of the United States Bant, I was 
 in the habit of visiting the institution on matters of business, 
 frequently paying my respects to Mr. Biddle, the President. 
 A little circumstance occurred on one of these occasions that 
 must not be passed unnoticed. 
 
 One day, after amusing him and friends with a few- 
 trifling feats, he remarked, " I hope you will not conjure all 
 the money out of the bank, Signor." 
 
 "Oh! no, Mr. Biddle, I will leave that trick for others 
 to do." 
 
 This retort, in a few years, proved I was prophetic, and 
 that many a truth is spoken in jest. 
 
 poiNG A Judge. 
 
 Legal science is broad and complicated, which many 
 profess to understand, but few comprehend. 
 
 Law is known to be a tyrant, peculiarly and distressingly 
 so, for it adheres strictly to its own interpretation, which, 
 however singular, and emphatically contradictory to com- 
 mon sense, is nevertheless termed " according to law." It 
 is to this, in a great measure, that arises the general antipa- 
 thy to become involved in its uncertainties, disappointments, 
 and expenses. 
 
 Probably no class of people are the recipients of so 
 much vituperation, or whose honesty is so much impugned, 
 as the legal profession. 
 
 These ungenerous charges are, as a general rule, ex- 
 pressed either from ignorance or without reflection, for we 
 may as well doubt the honesty and integrity of every person 
 engaged in any other profession or occupation in life, and 
 feel impressed that all mankind are promoters of discord. 
 
A WORD ABOUT LAWYBBS. 177 
 
 The true idea, and undoubted fact in regard to law, 
 is, that until man becomes less contentious, and more ami- 
 able in the perplexities which surround him, he must neces- 
 sarily expect to contend with the law, and abide by its 
 consequences. 
 
 The disciples of Coke and Blackstone compose a numer- 
 ous body of gentlemen, refined and intellectual, as they are 
 honorable and truthful, with abilities largely diversified, 
 combined with a practical knowledge of human nature and 
 its phases. I can safely assert that, no other profession can 
 produce men more honorable, more energetic, or more per- 
 severing. 
 
 Philadelphia has always enjoyed a special fame for the 
 legal acumen and sound knowledge of the members of her 
 bar, who have added much dignity to the jurisprudence of 
 the country. 
 
 Mr. Gibson, at the time of his death, was Chief Justice 
 of the State, a position his impartiality and virtues honored. 
 Being humorous in nature, and instructive in conversation, 
 his popularity was imbounded. 
 
 Dining one day in company with him and a party of 
 gentlemen at the United States Hotel, then situated between 
 Fourth and Eifth, on Chestnut street, an animateji discus- 
 sion arose as to the correctness of testimony, as generally 
 given in court, where the facts mainly depend upon the 
 accuracy of sight. The whole party declared that, as see- 
 ing was beheving, every possible doubt became removed. 
 
 "Not in all instances," repHed the judge; "for we fre- 
 quently believe what we do not see ; and, further, my expe- 
 rience on the bench, and the attention I have given to the 
 subject, not only compels me to be sceptical, but suspicious 
 of human testimony, and confirmatory of my position, Sig- 
 ner BHtz will please favor us with a few tricks." 
 
 To this I readily assented, as I iad anticipated the re- 
 8* 
 
118 VICTIMIZING A JUDGE. 
 
 quest, and was prepared accordingly. " What character of 
 feat would you prefer ? " I inquired. 
 
 "Take the judge's money out of his pocket," said one. 
 
 " Oh, yes, do ! " was the ready and unanimous request of 
 all. 
 
 "I hope not," said the judge, smilingly; "for I have 
 but little. I prefer that the Signor should place some in. 
 Taking money out of people's pockets is a serious matter." 
 
 At this moment I arose and observed : " I am a victim 
 of the judge's extraordinary manipulating abilities. He has 
 my wallet, with its contents, now in his pocket." 
 
 "What ! what ! " shouted the judge, amidst the laughing 
 applause and dehght of ail. "I have your pocket-book? 
 Why, it is impossible ; our present distance disproves the 
 accusation." 
 
 His hands now fumbled in his pockets, drawing out the 
 wallet ! the appearance of which drew forth the most hila- 
 rious shouts, clapping of hands, and stamping of feet. The 
 judge's countenance exhibited great amazement ; but soon 
 his face assumed its usual pleasantness, while he declared 
 that the senses could be provoked to beUeve that which was 
 not true. 
 
 EgYPXIAN M.UM.MY. 
 
 The Egyptian mummy brought to this country by Mr. 
 Glidd, the American consul at Cairo, was opened in Phila- 
 delphia to the eyes of the cmious, who desired to see the- 
 mortal remains of a human being who existed two thousand 
 years before the Christian era. Previous to this proceeding, 
 however, there were gathered round a collection of bald- 
 pated, gentlemen, whose thoughts seemed to have little to 
 do with things modem, and, from their air of mystery, they 
 appeared to be lost in the gloom of ages. These ancient 
 gentlemen were inspecting the characters on the case of the 
 dried specimen of antiquity, when suddenly they were star- 
 
DOCTORS DISSECTING A MUMMY. 179 
 
 tied by a voice from amid tlie folds of the Hnen which 
 wrapped the mummy. 
 
 " Open the box ! open the box ! " said the voice. 
 
 " Who are you ? " inquired one of the learned Thebans, 
 whose curiosity had the advantage of his astonishment. 
 
 "I am a descendant of the Pharaohs," answered the 
 voice within. 
 
 " Are you a genuine mummy?" 
 
 '' Tes, genuine and no mistake^ — ^regularly manufactured 
 in Egypt by some of the first artists." 
 
 " Did you come from Ham? " 
 
 " Ham ? No ! I am a better specimen of dried beef." 
 
 "What do you want here? " 
 
 "Ask yourself; your confounded prying Tankee inquisi- 
 tiveness has waked me up from a slumber of ages." 
 
 A thought struck the scientific questioner, and he' deter- 
 mined to settle a mooted question. 
 
 " Were the Egyptians black or red men ? " 
 
 " Ked as the knave of hearts." 
 
 "What caused the decline of the Egyptian nation?" 
 
 "It didn't decline I Like the modern Celt, the Egyp- 
 tians emigrated to America." 
 
 " To America ? " inqtfired the ^ctor.- 
 
 " Yes. Open the box ! open the box ! " 
 
 " Then the pyramid at Cholulu is — " 
 
 "Exactly; it is nothing else." 
 
 "And you are — " 
 
 " Signor Blitz." 
 
 " Signor Blitz ! " said the astonished inquirer. 
 
 The doctors looked at each other, and the words, "Done 
 for," was distinctly heard issuing from the box, as if the dried 
 descendant of Mizraim was laughing in its sleeve at the 
 credulity of science, which could not tell a living ventrilo- 
 quist from the dried remains of a burnt monkej^'s skeleton. 
 
CHAPTER XVm. 
 
 MT VISIT TO THE SOUTH. 
 
 OING soHtli from Philadelphia, I ar- 
 rived at Baltimore, at which city I 
 made a brief stay, exhibiting to large 
 and enthusiastic audiences, at the 
 close of which I commenced an en- 
 gagement in Washington, meeting 
 with the greatest success; for night 
 and day the hall was literally crammed with people, whose 
 upturned faces beamed with surprise and laughter. The 
 more intelligent class of the community took a reasonable, 
 common ^ense view of my feats, while others looked upon me 
 as an emissary from the dark shades of Hades, sent to tan- 
 talize and deceive poor humanity with my deeds of sorcery. 
 To the colored people I was an e&pecial attraction of won- 
 der and alarm. They could not associate me with other 
 mortals, for their ready belief in my supernatural qualifica- 
 tions was amusing and entertaining. 
 
 "Washington has always contained much to interest and 
 instruct, being the capital of the United States, and the 
 residence of the head of the nation. All the Government 
 departments and public buildings are substantial and free 
 of access. Apart from these attractions, and those arising 
 from national afiairs, it is. a city which few admire. 
 
 Its peculiarity of streets, hotel discomforts, and extrava- 
 gant charges, with constant mud or dust, renders it far from 
 
SECRETARY OF STATE. 181 
 
 being an agreeable place. The society I found of a varied 
 character, at times admirable for its refinement, as at other 
 times it was impleasant for valgarity. This marked feature 
 combined in its sphere much of the elective wisdom of the 
 nation, where positions are obtained, with few exceptions, 
 more from their political affinity to party, than any neces- 
 sary reference to personal elegance. 
 
 PANIEL WeBSTEI^ 
 
 During the -presidency of Mr. Tyler, I had occasion to 
 call on the Secretary of the Navy on personal business. 
 "When I arrived, as I supposed, at the department, I found 
 several gentlemen awaiting an interview. After the expi- 
 ration of a few moments I accompanied the attendant, and 
 to my surprise, found myself in the presence of Daniel 
 Webster, then Secretary of State. Glancing at my card, 
 he turned and readily extended his hand, -with — 
 
 "Welcome, Signor! No hocus-pocus among my pa- 
 pers ! " — covering them with his arms. 
 
 "No, sir," I responded, "I am the one tricked this 
 time : I was seeking the Secretary of the Navy." 
 
 " Perhaps I can answer the purpose," he replied. 
 
 After explaining to him my object, I received the requi- 
 site information. We laughed and chatted a few minutes, 
 and I was about to retire, when I mentioned that as I had 
 unexpectedly visited him, I would make known a matter of 
 interest to me, namely, that I was an appHcant for office, and 
 hoped I could rely upon his influence in the matter. 
 
 " You, a magician, an office-seeker, Signor ? " 
 
 " There is only one, sir, I aspire to ; all others I should 
 refuse without regard to their emolimients." 
 
 " WeU, what one is that?" questioned the great states- 
 man, in his deep and powerful voice. 
 
 " Coimt th^ treasury notes, Mr. Webster." 
 
182 EFFECT OF VENTRILOQUISM IN THE SENATE. 
 
 "The treasury notes, Signor?" 
 
 " Yes, sir. Tou might give me one hraidred thousand 
 to count, and watch closely, but you would find only 
 seventy-five thousand when I returned them." 
 
 " Signor ! " he exclaimed, with lively animation, " there 
 is no chance ; there are better magicians here than you, for 
 there would not be fifty thoitscmd left after their count- 
 ing!" 
 
 Learning from such an authentic source that there were 
 more capable conjurors in the employ of the government, I 
 retired, without further urging my claim. 
 
 President Fillmore. 
 
 When Mr. Fillmore was President I again visited Wash- 
 ington, in my professional capacity. I waited upon him, 
 and he received me in his genial, courteous maimer ; and, 
 pleasantly running his fingers over my hair, observed, 
 " Signor, your locks are somewhat silvered since we trav- 
 elled on the canal together ; at which time, little did I an- 
 ticipate becoming President of the United States." 
 
 In return, I replied that I hoped he would remain an- 
 other term, to which he gave a smiling bow. - ' 
 
 Henry Clay. 
 
 This gentleman was an occasional visitor at my exhibi- 
 tions. At the close of one, he told me, in, a happy and 
 laughing manner, he wished I would come to the Senate, 
 Chamber, and, by the aid of my ventriloquial power, send 
 my voice among his democratic friends, so that they might 
 vote for the measures they had opposed. He said, "It 
 would cause a glorious excitement among the democracy ! " 
 
 My journey South was pleasant and successful. The 
 whites and bl^icks were alike eager and zealous to enjoy 
 what appeared marvellous in my entertainments, for both 
 
SLAVERY IN TSE SOUTH. 183 
 
 betrayed evident appreliension in respect to my eonjui-a- 
 tions. The rich, poor, and sick consulted me as to past 
 events connected with life, liberty, and death, with an un- 
 hesitating confidence that inspired me with a sympathy for 
 their simplicity and superstitious delusion. 
 
 Richmond. 
 
 In many respects this is a deUghtfal city, beautifally sit- 
 uated. The contrasts between the higher and lower classes 
 were more marked than at the North, and a haughtier tone 
 of character prevailed among them. 
 
 The most objectionable feature was slavery, the influ- 
 . ence of which predominated above aU other considerations. 
 It was also perceptible that this institution gave origin to 
 many of those high-handed actions so common ia their civil 
 and political history, inspiring its admirers with a devotion 
 far more constant and sincere than any reverence for God, 
 or patriotism toward the Government. 
 
 Charleston. 
 
 As I continued my travels, I discovered even a more 
 determined regard for this idol of theii" love, surpassing 
 eveiy moral and natural expression of the just and good by 
 insult and outrage. It is difficult to understand how singu- 
 larly infatuated the minds of people can become to a wrong, 
 which not only inflicts pain upon the sufierer, but must 
 ultimately recoil upon themselves. In a national point of 
 view, the North was inexcusable to the world for its ready 
 and silent acquiesence to slavery ; for the political policy of 
 the free States very generally governed itself to meet the 
 acceptance of the South, and thus, to a great degree, not 
 only strengthened the evil, but gave them the powei* to defy 
 those who disputed it. 
 
 Charleston then contained no attractions ; nothing to 
 
184 TUB FRIGBTENED DARKIES. 
 
 amuse, instruct, or impress the mind, with the exception of 
 a few handsome residences on the Parade or Battery. 
 
 The majority of buildings were old and dilapidated, 
 without the least assumption to architectural taste. Decay 
 and indolence presented themselves at every footstep, and 
 if the grass did not literally grow in the streets, it was not 
 attributable to any energy put forth to prevent it. 
 
 In their business habits, there was a conciliatory and 
 generous spirit that favorably impressed strangers. 
 
 As a matter of course, the African race exceeded in pop- 
 ulation that of the whites. I was frequently amused with 
 their unsophisticated expressions, and the animated wonder 
 displayed in their countenances. How the broad features 
 would distend, the protruding lips expand, as the mouth 
 opened and eyes rolled in that peculiar manner so expreS' 
 sive of surprise and amusement ! 
 
 " pE Bebil About, Sui^." 
 
 As two athletic negroes were engaged in tumbling 
 about a bale of cotton on the dock at Charleston, a mysteri- 
 ous voice, appearing to come from the naiddle of the bale, 
 exclaimed, — 
 
 "Don't toss me about so hard." 
 
 " Bress de Lord ! who dat ? w'ar you ? " spoke one of the 
 darkies, as both let go their hold and stood aghast. 
 
 "Inside the bale," responded the voice. 
 
 "Joe," said one of the negroes to his companion, "de 
 debil is about, sure," and then collecting himself somewhat, 
 he thus addressed the sewed-up man. "How cum you 
 dar?" 
 
 "Put in at the plantation, to made out the cnss-bale," 
 replied the voice inside.' 
 
 "I golly, Joe, you hear dat, what'll buckra man do 
 next ? "Wal, you've got to go along wid de bale to de cotton 
 
TOM IN A MICE BARREL. 185 
 
 press, and you will be packed den, sure," said one of the 
 knights of the hook, and both set to work again at their job. 
 Just then loud cries of "Miirder! murder!" proceeded 
 from the bale, when the darkies, convinced that "de debil" 
 was really about, dropped everything, and took to their 
 heels. The comedy was highly enjoyed by some friends 
 who were standing around me, as I was looking after a 
 cage of canaries that came out by steamer from New York. 
 
 A Runaway Slave. 
 
 Conversing one afternoon with the proprietor of a gro- 
 cery store, my attention was called to a loquacious negro 
 named Jack, who, after inquiring the price and quality of 
 almost every kind of goods, seated himself on a barrel con- 
 taining rice. At this moment a voice from within haUoed, — 
 
 " Stop dat ; you sitting on my head. Jack." 
 
 "Who is dar in dis cask?" inquired Jack, as he quickly 
 jumped off. 
 
 "It is me, Tom, from the plantation; massa whipped 
 dis nigger t'other day, and I am going to de North where 
 de men are all free." 
 
 Here Jack's face assumed an indescribable picture! 
 Holding tip both hands, he uttered with much earnestness, — 
 "You be going to de North, Tom?" 
 
 " Yes, where everybody do as he like. Sam and Joe 
 nailed me up, but keep your Tnouth shut, for if massa finds 
 dis boy, he will be the death of me." 
 
 "But how is you going to breathe, and what you got 
 to eat, Tom?" 
 
 "Why, I am in de middle of the rice, and de air comes 
 through de little holes. I want you to take me to de wharf." 
 
 " Can't do so, Tom, my principles are of dem sort dat 
 does de right with my brother man, and I will not nm off 
 any nigge*." 
 
186 A SOVTBERN SNOW-STORM. 
 
 "Den, by golly, I cum out of de cask and stick you," loudly 
 threatened Tom, with a sound of commotion. 
 
 "No, you won't do dat," replied Jack, and in an instant_ 
 darted out of the store with the speed of an antelope, indif- 
 ferent to every effort to stop him. The reader can judge 
 how much we enjoyed the incident. 
 
 Savannah, Columbia, and Augusta, were prettily ar- 
 ranged, with streets broad, and laid out with much taste. 
 
 The agreeable acquaintances I formed were courteous, 
 and hospitable in their attentions, free from all servility of 
 speech or manner. Occasionally an allusion would be made 
 to the negroes, and their happy condition, which I could 
 not see, and of course my relation as a stranger forbade me 
 to comment upon. 
 
 During my temporary residence at Savannah, the city' 
 was surprised by the phenomenon of a snow-storm ! 
 
 j>L Southern Snow-Storm. 
 
 This was certainly as terrific as any I had seen at the 
 North, the appearances the night previous indicating no such 
 event ; but the morning testified not only to the fickleness 
 of the climate, but recognized the truth of the adage, ""We 
 know not what a day may bring forth." The oldest inhabi- 
 taint had no recollection of anything like it in severity. 
 
 The scene was one of great interest and amusement, the 
 white population ga2dng with wonder, and the blacks look- 
 ing spell-bound, as th&y scrutinized the heavens to discover 
 whence came the feathery deposit. Finally, old and young 
 of both colors, mingled in a tumultuous afiray of snow- 
 balling, no one escaping if he chanced to be near. 
 
 In Pulaski square, two figures of life size were erected, 
 representing General Jackson and Mr. Van Buren — the 
 latter at the time being President— and if not perfect in 
 feature, were admirable in design. 
 
PUSS AND THE RABBITS. 187 
 
 The bustle and activity on the part of the citizens to 
 procure sleighs called into activity their inventive genius. 
 Temporary runners were made, on which tubs were placed, 
 and on some, boards were arranged for seats. To these 
 hastUy improvised sleighs, horses of greater or less speed 
 were attached. But the most singular sight, and beyond 
 description, was tlie appearance of the negroes, with their 
 heads of wool and shining faces covered with flakes of pure 
 white snow. It was ludicrous in the extreme, as they gayly 
 tripped along, laughing at and ridicuhng each other. 
 
 I next visited MilledgeviUe, Macon, and Columbus, cities 
 limited in population, the former the capital of the State. 
 
 Affection in Animal I^ature. 
 
 On my journey I was necessitated to remain over night 
 at a hotel, on the line of the railroad. When I arose next 
 morning I found my rabbits — ^which were requisite to my 
 business — ^had increased their family. I removed the young, 
 and gave them to the son of the proprietor of the hotel. 
 After an absence of two days I returned, when, to my sur- 
 prise and delight, I found the Httle creatures alive, happy, 
 and contented in the care of a cat, who had adopted them in 
 lieu of her own progeny, which some one of trifling love 
 for brute hfe, and of blimted nature, had drowned a few 
 nights previous in a neighboring pond. I often relate this 
 fact of kind pussy, and draw a moral from animal nature. 
 
 Indian Raid. 
 
 On reaching Columbus, I found a great excitement and 
 alarm prevailing, for the town was threatened with an attack 
 from the Indians of the Cherokee nation, who had made 
 their appearance on the opposite side of the bridge which 
 spanned the river, producing the greatest apprehension. 
 The inhabitants were all armed, and cannon placed in posi- 
 
188 A NIGHT OF watching: 
 
 tion to check them if they advanced, which the Indians 
 perceiving, they concluded to retire some distance. 
 
 This tribe of Indians had committed many depredations, 
 murdered the planters, destroyed property, and only a few 
 hours before my arrival had killed the stage driver, and 
 burnt the mail. The city was greatly crowded with stran- 
 gers, so that accommodations of the humblest character were 
 scarce and expensive, especially at the hotels. 
 
 After many days of uncertainty, information was re-, 
 ceived that the Indians had dispersed in bands, and the 
 right of way again open, which created a general exodus 
 among the travellers, who, in large parties, proceeded on 
 their route. My own fears were not so much allayed as to 
 justify my accompanying them, so I remained a few days 
 longer, and entertained the joyfiil and relieved citizens with 
 \ my performances, which they generously patronized. 
 
 During this time many travelled the public road, but 
 not without bringing tidings of men, women, and children 
 being butchered, their homes set on fire, and their cattle 
 slaughtered or driven away. 
 
 After considerable hesitation, I arrayed myself in the 
 armor of courage, ordered my horses and wagon, and with 
 a loaded single-barrel gun, my agent and myself wended our 
 way through the disturbed country, resting nightly at plant- 
 ers' houses, which were usually well filled with travellers. 
 At one of these places the proprietor, previous to our retir- 
 ing, distributed among us a number of muskets and ammu- 
 nition, in order to be able to defend ourselves from any 
 sudden raid of the Indians, which he said might be possible, 
 as they were known to be prowling in the vicinity. This 
 announcement unbalanced my nerves, and pictured to my 
 mind a variety of war-whoops and yeUs, accompanied by 
 savage visages. All sleep was banished, as I vigilantly 
 watched, with my weapon in hand, in dread expectation of 
 
A SOUTSERN TBTJTWER-STORM. 189 
 
 . the cruel red men. The night was one of a solemn and 
 fearful character. The heavens were dark and gloomy, and 
 with the exceptional twinkling of an unpretending star, 
 there was not a single gleam of relief to cheer our hopes. 
 Every breath of wind and rustling of the leaves, or the 
 howUng of a faithful hound, gave an increased terror to 
 the mind. 
 
 So the hours passed until morning arrived, with its 
 bright and welcome sun. Each heart congratulated itself, 
 and experienced that inward acknowledgment which all feel 
 to the Protecting Hand after a miraculous escape. 
 
 "We breakfasted at an early hour, and immediately active 
 preparations were made by all parties for leaving. Our 
 path was through a thickly-timbered country, romantic, and 
 at times grand and inexpressibly awful, particularly so when 
 penetrating the dense swamps that we encountered on the 
 route. In the afternoon I arrived at a plantation, where I 
 located, and was kindly received. To my delight, a few 
 hundred yards from the house was stationed a company of 
 State militia, ordered out to capture the Indians. 
 
 During the night the place was visited by one of those 
 thunder-storms so common to the climate, which none 
 unaccustomed to their severity can estimate. The wind 
 assumed a herculean strength and defiant tone. Giant trees 
 of many years' growth, and those of tender structure, were 
 uprooted and strewed around in utter ruin, while the rain 
 descended in frightful torrents, creating a temporary lake of 
 water. Amidst the most sublime and terrific roaring of 
 thunder, with rapid flashes of lightning illuminating the 
 sombre heavens with brilliant lustre, each element betrayed 
 its utmost fury, and contended for the final superiority of 
 power. 
 
 We arose at the break of day to arrange for our depar- 
 ture. All again looked calm, happy, and quiet ; the birds 
 
190 A WHEEL MISSING. 
 
 were gayly hppping from twig to branch ; tlie cattle snuffed 
 the air with a seeming delight, while a fresh perfume per- 
 vaded the softness of the atmosphere. When the horses 
 were ready for the wagon, what was my astonishment on 
 finding a wheel, missing. This was a detention I had not 
 anticipated. Search and inquiry was everywhere made 
 and instituted without success. My difficulty may be easily 
 imagined. Soldiers and negroes were employed in every 
 direction, but failed in its recovery. The day had nearly 
 passed without a knowledge of its whereabouts, when the 
 planter intimated it was not impossible but that some of the 
 soldiers were the perpetrators, as they had been guilty of 
 many provoking acts to travellers, and he would advise me 
 to seek an interview with the captain, and suggest to him 
 the inconvenience of my position, the loss of business, and 
 the propriety of his communicating these facts to his 
 command. 
 
 Without delay I proceeded to his quarters, when I found 
 he was absent with most of his men, and would not return 
 until sunset. In the interval I reconnoitred every bush and 
 mound without effect, until the time arrived for meeting the 
 captain. I found him, when we met, to be a rough, unpol- 
 ished man, with little or no refinement for the sensitive 
 feelings of others. He was of middle stature, with a coun- 
 tenance dark and fierce, intimating much determination ; an 
 eye sharp and penetrating, which was almost buried amid 
 his shaggy locks and bushy beard. I stated my trouble to 
 him, and in a pleasant manner told him I had heard his 
 men were in the habit of amusing themselves by practical 
 jokes perpetrated on passers-by, and he would confer a great 
 obligation by interrogating them in regard to the wheel ; 
 that I should be willing to pay a reasonable sum for its 
 return, in order that I might pursue my journey. 
 
RECOVEUr OF PROPERTY STOLEN. 191 
 
 j^ Wheel- Within a Wheel. 
 
 "Wheel gone, stranger? That's nothing. Didn't 
 take your horses, did they? Just like my boys; I'll have a 
 talk with them for you." 
 
 This was poor consolation, but I had to submit. After 
 a little time the men were collected, and addressed — near as 
 my memory will serve — as follows : 
 
 " Soldiers, this stranger from the North lost his wagon 
 wheel last night ; now, if any man here knows about it he 
 will say so, and receive the reward, which, I conclude, wiU 
 be treating the company." 
 
 All shook their heads, or verbally denied any knowledge 
 of it. I now despaired of ever recovering the wheel, and 
 was about to return, when the captain, who had been con- 
 versing in a low tone with several of the men, came toward 
 me and stated he understood I was a showman, a magician, 
 and ventriloquist — a person that could make something 
 from nothing, little things big, shoot with an empty gun, 
 and the very fellow to entrap the Indians by my voice ; that 
 I had better join the company ; or, if I would give an exhi- 
 bition of my art, I might rely upon the return of my 
 wheel. 
 
 I assented, repaired to the house, unpacked a trunk, and 
 selected apparatus for an entertainment, which I gave in the 
 open woods, in the presence of the soldiers, planter's family, 
 and many negroes. The feats produced a good-natured result, 
 and I was considered worthy of the return of my wheel, 
 which was produced and presented to me, accompanied by 
 hurrahs and cheers. The hour being late, I was obliged to 
 defer my departni-e until the morning, when I arose at an 
 early hour and rode with all despatch to Montgomery, where 
 I arrived at twilight, without the loss of my scalp. 
 
 Before bidding adieu to this tribe of savages, I will add 
 
192 THE CHEROKEE LANGUAGE. 
 
 that they, like many ignorant whites, were very superstitions, 
 and' everything strange or unaccountable they attributed 
 . to the supernatural. An interesting illustration of this is 
 related by Mr. Eichardson, in his " Beyond the Mississippi." 
 The substanpe of it is as follows : 
 
 An Inventive Genius. 
 
 The history of the Cherotees has one very remarkable 
 character. His Indian name was Sequoyah. He was bom 
 in Northern Georgia, long before the tribe removed beyond 
 the Mississippi. His father was a wandering German ped- 
 dler, named Guest, and his mother an untaught Cherokee 
 woman, whom the peddler married, and soon abandoned. 
 Young Guest showed much mechanical aptitude, becoming 
 an expert blacksmith, and made his own tools and bellows. 
 He also learned the silversmith's art. The Cherokees had 
 no written language. One day, several noticing a white pris- 
 oner in the act of reading a letter, raised the question whether 
 the "talking leaf" was a special gift from the Great Spirit, 
 or a mere human invention. Sequoyah, though scouting 
 the suggestion that it was miraculous, grew interested in the 
 subject. A lameness, caused by a white swelling, kept him 
 from active pursuits, and he labored for years collecting the 
 woi'ds of the Cherokee language, and designated symbols 
 to represent them from birds, beasts, and trees. He had 
 neither pens or paper, but wrote upon bark with nails or 
 sharp wire. At length a glimpse of the only practical mode 
 dawned upon him. He did not know a word of any lan- 
 guage but his own. He had no help from the accumulated 
 experience of other races and other men of -genius, but 
 alone in the wilderness this untutored half-breed discovered 
 the great principle, which it had taken civilized nations cen- 
 turies to ascertain, that arbitrary signs must not stand for 
 ideas, but for sounds. He found the vowel sounds of the 
 
GEORGE GUEST. 
 
HONORS TO SEQUOTAB. , 193 
 
 Cherokee language to be nine. These he mnltiplied by the 
 consonant sounds. He made use of an old English spelling- 
 book which fell into his hands, and adopted many of its 
 letters, and invented new characters to fiU out his list, thus 
 forming a complete syllabic alphabet. At first his tribe were 
 utterly incredulous, but having taught his little daughter, 
 he sent her away and wrote to her such messages as they 
 dictated, and when she read them the stoutest braves were 
 awe-stricken, and fancied it must be necromancy ; but hav- 
 ing taught it to others, they confessed his triumph, gave him 
 a great feast, and subsequently held him in high honor and 
 veneration. 
 9 
 
CHAPTER XIX. 
 
 A DAITGEEOUS CtTSTOMEE. 
 
 > HY Montgomery should liavebeen selected 
 as the rallying-poiilt or place of meeting 
 of the persons appointed to make arrange- 
 ments and perfect schemes for the disso- 
 tion of the Union and the formation of a 
 Southern Confederacy, I cannot fully de- 
 termine. At the time of the convention, 
 it was a city of some sixteen thousand inhabitants, on the 
 Alabama Eiver, and over three himdred miles from the 
 Gulf of Mexico. When I visited it, on my southern tour, 
 I found it clean and pleasant in appearance, with many fine 
 buildings, streets wide and regularly laid out, the citizens 
 manifesting much interest in improving and ornamenting 
 the place. It had, however, been long noted for its unpar- 
 alleled murders and outrages, and those criminal acts which 
 insult and dely the law.. Men were shot at or stabbed on 
 the public walks, and the guilty wretches permitted to es- 
 capie, brandishing their pistols and knives with threats of 
 death to any one who should attempt to arrest them. 
 
 How the widow and orphan have wept at their sudden 
 bereavement, their own lacerated hearts know best. 
 
 ^AD JVLen and Worthless Money. 
 While here, I myself was connected with an affair that 
 
MOW BE WAS SERVED. 195 
 
 at one time appeared alarming. A resident of the place 
 paid me ten dollars, which proved to be worthless, and 
 shortly afterward we accidentally met. Showing him the 
 note, he at once recognized it as the same he had given me. 
 When I informed him that it was a bad one, he cooUy 
 replied that he knew it was. I then asked him if he would 
 exchange it for good money. 
 
 " Oh, yes," he replied ; " come to the Planters' Hotel 
 after dinner." 
 
 I called, accompanied by Mr. Hutchinson, proprietor of 
 the Montgomery Admertiser, and found him in the public 
 bar-room, and upon my presenting the note, he remarked 
 , he did not intend to take it back. 
 
 " You are aware I can compel you to do so ? " I said. 
 
 "What do you say?" he impetuously shouted, with a 
 malignant scowl, drawing a huge bowie-knife. 
 
 " I will take a glass of sherry wine, sir ; what wiU you 
 drink ? " I replied, my presence of mind not deserting me. 
 
 Here my friend, Mr. Hutchinson, lost his equanimity, 
 and with a hand of iron grasped him by the neck, and de- 
 clared if he had a pistol he would shoot him for his attempt 
 to insult and take advantage of a stranger. In a moment 
 several were presented to hiln by the excited lookers-on, 
 who, in a remarkable degree, were interested in the antici- 
 pation of a fight. 
 
 In order to avert bloodshed, I at this scene exerted all 
 my powers to a removal of the arms from my defender, 
 which, to my satisfaction, I succeeded in doing, much to his 
 reluctance and the opposition of the lookers-on, who were 
 eager, beyond measure, for an affray. The parties retired 
 to an adjoining room, the one taking with him his knife, of 
 which I endeavored to deprive him, contrary to the wishes of 
 Mr. Hutchinson, who had no weapon. -Soon they returned, 
 my debtor holding in his hand a ten-dollar note, which he 
 
196 ESCAPE FROM DANGER. 
 
 extended toward me. This I declined receiving, for, from 
 appearances, I entertained the thought that mj gallant, 
 friend had advanced the money to satisfy my claim; and to 
 prove to him that I considered the debt cancelled, I here 
 destroyed the counterfeit note. 
 
 Toward evening of the same day, I was returning to 
 the hotel, when a druggist appeared at his door and called 
 me by name ; and on my entering, he directed my attention 
 to a rifle and shot-gun, advising me, without delay, to take 
 one and shoot the man I had the controversy with. 
 
 " You surprise me, sir ! " I exclaimed. " Take the life 
 of a human being ? " 
 
 " Why, yes ; waylay and kill the rascal ; you are justi- 
 fied by law. I am a witness to his saying you should not 
 leave this place alive. Take this; it is loaded" — offering 
 me a double-barrelled gun. 
 
 I refused, saying I was not one that placed so little value 
 on human existence, however bad the creature might be, 
 and, to his disappointment, left without accepting his offer 
 or following his advice. 
 
 I now proceeded to Mr. Hutchinson's, informing him of 
 the threat uttered by the person from whom he had so gen- 
 erously defended me. He assured me there was no danger 
 or fear of any injury from him. " For he well knows that 
 if he murdered you, Signer, we wo\ild kill him." 
 
 I considered the affair as one that might have become, 
 in many ways, fatal in the extreme, though to my great and 
 good fortune, it was avoided, though not without the kind 
 assistance of Mr. Hutchinson. 
 
 At "Wetumpka, a little, stirring, active place, situated 
 at the head of navigation on the Alabama Eiver, a similar 
 exhibition of that reckless disposition to take life, so com- 
 mon in the South, and in which I was also unintentionally 
 a participant, occurred. 
 
A FIVM-DOLLAR FINE. 197 
 
 A Shot frojvs. Eehind. 
 
 I gave my arm to a gentleman who was suffering from 
 lameness in his feet, and while walking down the main 
 street, a person deliberately ran up, and, from behind, dis- 
 charged a pistol at us, but without causing any injury, with 
 the exception of my being deprived of a portion of my 
 hair above my eai-. 
 
 This unexpected salute caused me, quick as lightning, 
 to take refuge in a store, which occasioned much mirth to a 
 large crowd. Sword-canes and bowie-knives, however, were 
 offered to my friend, who was the one upon whom the 
 attack was intended, but the parties retired without blood- 
 shed. 
 
 This attack resulted from a political difference, and pro- 
 vided a topic of conversation for the people, in which I had 
 to bear considerable ridicule for being frightened and run- 
 ning away. 
 
 The most singular conclusion of this melee was the as- 
 saulting party being summoned before the authorities, and 
 fined five dollars ! I expressed my surprise at the smallness 
 of the sum, when a gentleman remarked that he was only 
 fined that amoimt because he failed to Mil; but had he 
 taken hfe, there would have been nothing to pay. 
 
 M.OBILE. 
 
 I now shipped my horses and carriage on board a 
 steamer, direct for Mobile, as I supposed, but we were fre- 
 quently delayed at various landings, to take in cotton. The 
 modus opercmdi of shipping this freight provided amuse- 
 ment and lively interest, especially at night-time, which 
 was picturesque and romantic. Bale after bale was tumbled 
 down a declivity of several hundred feet, to the bow of the 
 boat, which, with the glaring light, and the cheerful activity 
 
198 A GENTLEMANLT THIEF. 
 
 of the negroes as they despatched the cotton, and the ani- 
 mation displayed by the crew as they rolled it on deck, 
 accompanied by the coarse and violent language of the 
 mate, which appeared to be his prerogative, materially com- 
 pensated for the monotony we should otherwise have been 
 subject to ere we reached Mobile. 
 
 This -city contained a population large and increasing, 
 with a profitable and important interior and export trade ; 
 yet those advantages did not invoke the exercise of those 
 faculties that promote improvement and bestow health. A 
 slumbering propensity prevailed that made evident how 
 little disposed or ambitious the citizens were for developing 
 their many resources, and especially so in the removal of 
 obstructions to navigation. My entertainments created 
 pleasure and surprise to the intelligent, and fear and doubt 
 to the ignorant ; many grave feelings of suspicion were in- 
 dulged in as to my birth, parentage, and belief in the 
 Divine laws ; and notwithstanding my presence at church 
 on the Sabbath, which was an omen of some goodness in 
 me, yet it did not dispel the doubts and fears of this serious 
 and thoughtful people. 
 
 I was, as usual, consulted by those in love, and others 
 whose thoughts and hopes of the future was the sole object 
 of their hearts' approval. 
 
 Experience as a Detectiye. 
 
 One morning I was waited upon by a venerable-looMng 
 gentleman, with gray hair. He proclaimed his unlimited 
 confidence in my knowledge of astrology and those sciences 
 by which light and darkness are penetrated, and the evil- 
 doers discovered. He had been the victim of some thief: 
 his watch, diamond ring, and several hundred dollars had 
 been taken from him, and he had failed to discover the per- 
 petrators. • 
 
GAMBLING AND ITS RESULTS. 199 
 
 I declared I was not the potent person lie accredited ma 
 to be ; that I could only distinguish the evil from good by 
 those influences that were true and above doubt. After a 
 few additional remarks, I accompanied him to his residence, 
 where I was introduced to his family, when, in a moment 
 of inspiration,, or some spiritual manifestation which the 
 senses cannot define, my eyes encountered the object of the 
 inquiry. A nervous emotion attacked the guilty party, who 
 was not unconscious of my victory. 
 
 With a success so unexpected and complete, I returned 
 to the haU to give the matter my attention. I had scarcely 
 arrived, when a young gentleman, from whom I had but a 
 few minutes before separated, entered and confessed himself 
 the offender ; that, by an unfortuitous circumstance, he had 
 become an hahitvs of the gaming-table, whereby, in regular 
 and desperate play, he had become deeply involved, and to 
 save his honor from reproach, he had purloined the missing 
 articles ; but last night fortune had favored his efforts ; he 
 had recovered the watch and ring — which had been left for 
 security — and a larger amount of money than all his previ- 
 ous losses, and as he had the intuition to perceive that I 
 was aware of his guilt, he had come voluntarily to me, with 
 a heart full of contrition, in hopes of avoiding the damag- 
 ing consequence of exposure, by the restoration of the 
 property to his father, in some manner whereby the secret 
 might forever be unknown. 
 
 His story needed no confirmation, for my first impres- 
 sion, from his appearance, gave me the assurance of his 
 complicity in the matter. I entertained a sympathy for his 
 position, and felt it a duty to relieve his embarrassment, 
 and probably enjoy the proud satisfaction of preserving 
 him from destruction. I addressed him on the evil path he 
 was pursuing, the ruin and disgrace that must eventually 
 follow. I desired him, by all those principles which endear 
 
200 A SUSPBISINO FEAT. 
 
 US to manhood, and the sacred ties that bound him to his 
 family, to avoid the sin and destruction of a gambler's life ; 
 that I would convey the valuables to his father by means 
 that would appear equally inexplicable as was their re- 
 moval. He gave both hands as a pledge of hereafter ad- 
 hering to my advice ; and, placing the effects he had taken 
 upon the table, instantly departed, with a conscience greatly 
 relieved. After brief reflection, I despatched a note to his 
 father, expressing the importance of his presence at my 
 exhibition in the evening, as I entertained pleasant hopes of 
 obtaining for him his missing articles. At the hour of the 
 performance, I. observed him, in company with his son and 
 , daughter, seated in the hall, and when occasion required 
 the use of a hat, I procured his, remarking that there were 
 many things of value which he had forgotten to remove, 
 and I would take the liberty to do so, which I proceeded to 
 accomphsh by removing the notes, watch, and ring from 
 thence, much to his astonishment and that of the audience, 
 who, not imderstanding the cu-cumstance, considered the 
 hat a receptacle of wealth, and the owner thereof a lucky 
 man. The thanks I received from the gentleman were 
 many, and his entreaties for an explanation not less urgent. 
 It wiU be an interesting fact for my readers to know 
 that the son faithfully adhered to his determination, and 
 never afterward entered a gaming saloon, but became an 
 honest citizen. 
 
 New Orleans. 
 
 My next remove was to the Great Gulf City, noted 
 at home and abroad for the proclivities of her citizens to 
 that unlimited license of feeling, which their actions so 
 frequently developed. 
 
 Society here formed a very opposite character to that of 
 other large towns or cities, combining every variety of 
 
COMMERCIAL ASPECT OF NEW ORLEANS. 201 
 
 foreign and national element, conflicting and predisposed 
 to fatal consequences. Yet it must be admitted that the 
 numerous drinking-saloons and gaming-tables inaugurated, 
 in a great measure, most of the cases of shooting and killing 
 that have been so frequently recorded. 
 
 The importance of the city in a commercial aspect can- 
 not be over-estimated, for, while all comprehended her 
 position, few could realize her inseparable connection with 
 the immense agricultural productions with which the Mis- 
 sissippi and its tributaries abound, or imagine the increase 
 which the progress of time would prove. What I^ew York 
 is in importance to the North, such was New Orleans to 
 the South. Both are cities of immense combinations and 
 advantages, each ardent and spirited rivals for the trade and 
 commerce of the "Western and Middle States. Nature — 
 always just and wise — could not have been more liberal or 
 less ecoiiomical in her generosity to these extreme geograph- 
 ical points, which, in union with those arts and sciences that 
 provide facilities, remove obstructions, annihilate space, 
 and immensely multiply the resources and wealth of the 
 country, could not otherwise than give a metropoKtan stat- 
 ure to the city of New Orleans, such as woidd attract the 
 ambitious and enterprising from aU parts, whose habits were 
 rapidly imparted to the quiet impidses of the natives. 
 
 One portion of the city was occupied by the French 
 population, who, if not favored with that progressive spirit 
 to the same extent as their American fellow-citizens, were 
 far more happy and contented, and disinclined to dispute 
 the advance they advocated ; and, although their business 
 relations were frequent from necessity, socially they were 
 to a. degree limited: the vivacity and peculiarities of the 
 French being, as I suppose, little adapted to the Anglo- 
 Saxon race — otherwise, a perfect harmony existed. 
 
 For a stranger to be impressed with the conamercial 
 9* 
 
202 THE FOOLISH " SCHOOLMARM." 
 
 status of New Orleans, it' was at this period only necessary 
 to observe her levees, crowded for miles with ships and 
 steamboats, and mark the untold amount of exports and 
 imports with which they were lined; and how this com- 
 merce annually increased until the commencement of the 
 war, it would . be almost fabulous to describe. But a new 
 era in her history has taken place, which, however disastrous 
 in disturbing her progress, or embarrassing to the spirit and 
 pecuniary matters of her citizens, will in a brief period re- 
 place her in a position infinitely surpassing her days of 
 former greatness. 
 
 My entertainments were well patronized by all classes, 
 without distinction of color, and it would be a question of 
 much doubt to decide whether the wise or ignorant were 
 the most interested and amused, for many of the former 
 consulted me respecting hidden events — buried treasure by 
 the pirate Kidd, their future success, marriage, health, and 
 wealth, so earnest were they of my gifted powers to divine 
 their progress through life. It may not be out of place to 
 assert that in the many thousands of inquiries of this char- 
 acter, I never gave a single encouragement that a possibility 
 existed on my part, or that of others, to foretell coming 
 events, while I regret to state that in all the principal cities 
 the newspapers contain many advertisements by a class of 
 people professing their knowledge as fortune-tellers. 
 
 ^N Over-Zealous School-Teachei^ 
 
 During one of my exhibitions in this city, a lady, pro- 
 prietress of a boarding-school, attended with her pupils. 
 She was of a nervous, quick temperament, difficult to please, 
 and did not hesitate to criticise openly all my feats. A 
 singular scene occurred, owmg to her forward deportment, 
 which, while it did not add to her display of wisdom, pro- 
 duced much jnerriment in the audience. 
 
A PBACTICAL JOKE. 203 
 
 I had borrowed a lady's" silk cloak — at that time fashion- 
 able — and cut a large piece from the centre, replacing it 
 again without injury, to the no small astonishment of the 
 company. But the "schoolmarm" pronounced her dis- 
 satisfaction with the trick, and was anxious that I should 
 repeat the experiment with her own cloak. To this I as- 
 sented ; but as she desired to cut it herself, J. declined, stat- 
 ing the feat was a mere deception, and that her cutting and 
 mine would not produce the same effect. After much tan- 
 talizing and entreating me to aUow her to cut it, I consented, 
 and gave her the scissors, when she instantly cut a piece 
 large enough to admit the head of a person, and holding it 
 up to view, remarked : " There, sir ! repair this." 
 
 " Madam, that which I do not cut myself, I am unable 
 to restore ! " 
 
 The excitement and laughter my words produced can be 
 imagined. The poor woman paid dearly for her interfer- 
 ence. This scene was a theme of gossip for many days. 
 
 Jealousy and Love. 
 
 One morning a gentleman entered my room abruptly, 
 and signified his intention of shooting me, at the same in- 
 stant presenting a pistol to my head- I demanded an ex- 
 planation of his unwarrantable course. 
 
 "Why, sir," he hurriedly rephed, " at one of your exhibi- 
 tions, a few evenings since, your automaton figure accused me 
 of being in love with more than a dozen ladies, which, to my 
 misfortune, is readily believed by the lady who accompanied 
 me, and to whom I am engaged, and I hold you, sir, responsi- 
 ble for the destruction of my happiness." 
 
 "Why did you not assure the lady it was only a practical 
 joke?" 
 
 " It may be to you, sir, but to me it has had a most 
 
204 
 
 A PEACEFUL CONCLUSION. 
 
 damaging effect, and the only reparation you can afford is 
 to visit the lady with me, and convince her of the truth." 
 
 " Most certainly," I replied, seizing my hat, and imme- 
 diately walked with him to the home of the disquieted one, 
 who, after an explanation, banished her suspicions, and con- 
 firmed her faith by impressing a kiss on the lips of her 
 innocent lover. A peaceftd conclusion to a stormy begin-' 
 ning. 
 
CHAPTEK XX. 
 
 UP THE MISSISSIPPI EIVEE. 
 
 KOM New Orleans we went up the 
 noble Mississippi Kiver, which recalled 
 to our thoughts the absent Indians, 
 who, in the early age of its discovery, 
 inhabited its banks and the adjacent 
 forests, then in their glory. They 
 were a mighty and independent race — 
 happy in their social and barbarous 
 habits and customs, which time and civilization have partially 
 conquered — and are removed to a new home in the far west. 
 In my progress I exhibited at all the cities and towns 
 with my customary success, creating strange impressions as 
 to my origin, and the manner in which I obtained my mys- 
 tical and ventriloquial acquirements. 
 
 The stories which had preceded and accompanied me, 
 greatly alarmed the minds and imaginations of the colored 
 inhabitants, who speculated as to my nativity and claim to 
 humanity. They had been given to understand that I was 
 a wizard in the true sense; that I could metamorphose 
 black people white ; and if I was not a lineal descendant 
 of the magicians who lived and operated in the days of 
 Pharaoh, I must be fully equal to them, for by what natural 
 process could I accomplish the wonders they had heard of 
 and witnessed ? The more they inquired, the greater were 
 they perplexed. So earnest were they in their faith that 
 
206 TURNING CANNIBAL. 
 
 many came with large sums of money, and entreated me to 
 change their color. This ignorance was the more readily 
 excusable than that frequently displayed by their masters 
 and others. 
 
 At Natchez I encountered a party of the Cherokee tribe 
 of Indians, several of whom were squaws. In company 
 with a friend I visited their wigwams or tents in the imme- 
 diate vicinity of the city. I found them inquiring and 
 subtle to a degree unmistakable. In broken, yet compre- 
 hensive English, they complained of the aggressive power 
 of the Government in removing them from the land of their 
 childhood, and driving them to the far-off territories, where 
 the rivers and streams, the rocks and woods, were all 
 strange ! 
 
 I remarked to one, whose countenance betrayed an in- 
 dignant feeling, and who violently denounced the vindictive 
 acts of the Government toward their people, " that they 
 would be far happier in their new region of country, and 
 less exposed to the intrusions of their white brethren, 
 who were only influenced by that Great Spirit who giveth 
 wisdom, and whose sun and moon warms and lights every 
 part of the earth with His glory." To these words he 
 shrugged his shoulders, and replied, " Me no think so." 
 
 I communicated my wish for them to witness a few ex- 
 periments which I proposed to show them. Immediately 
 they all collected around me, and watched my movements 
 with the most unremitting scrutiny. Their surprise and aston- 
 ishment I have never seen equalled ; for their eyes bespoke 
 what a wonderful person I appeared to them — especially so, 
 when I declared my intention to eat one of their babies, 
 which the mother refused to part with, much to their joy and 
 satisfaction. But when I exercised my ventriloquial powers, 
 by imitating and conversing with various voices under the 
 ground and in their baskets, they became wild and alarmed, 
 
coNVERsma wits morses. sot 
 
 and precipitately fled, leaving myself and companion alone. 
 We followed and called aloud for them to stop, that I might 
 explain ; but this only increased their speed, giving the most 
 unearthly yeUs and screeches in reply. 
 
 Perhaps nothing in the course of my travels produced 
 such a continual smile of wonder, or afforded an equal 
 amount of enjoyment to all parties interested, as the horses 
 I drove. They were sold to me under the cognomens of 
 " General Jackson " and "Martin Van Buren." They were 
 a tall, well-matched, finely-proportioned pair of bays, and 
 admirably did they represent their illustrious namesakes. 
 A determined energy prevailed in the former, and a saga- 
 cious spirit predominated in the latter. They were known 
 and celebrated as the 
 
 Gifted Worses. 
 
 I found from experience that ostlers in general devoted 
 but little care and attention to their necessities. Frequently 
 they were without food and water, and in order to insure 
 better treatment, I resorted to stratagem. On my arrival I 
 invariably communicated to those who had charge of them 
 that they were gifted with the powers of speech, and if they 
 were in any manner neglected they would announce the 
 fact to me ; and to convince the people of this truth, I would 
 converse with the horses, and inquire how they were taken 
 care of at their last stopping-place. They would reply, 
 "Excellent; never better; good feed and water." Then 
 those present would utter their amazement, with a disposi- 
 tion to retreat. At other times they would express delight, 
 and collect their friends and the inmates of the house to see 
 the wonderful horses. 
 
 At Yicksburg I greatly doubted the sincerity of the 
 ostler. On questioning him in regard to his unkindness, he 
 stoutly declared it was not so. I stated to him that the 
 
208 THE SUBPRISED OSTLER. 
 
 horses had complained to me. He insisted that he had been 
 faithful. " If you hare, they have not spoken truly," I re- 
 plied, and proposed that we walk to the stable and inquire. 
 The man followed with a look of assurance, asserting that 
 he had done his duty. When we reached there, I said, — 
 
 "Well, General, how is it? How is the grain?" 
 
 "Plenty, but no water." 
 
 "How with you, Martin? " 
 
 " No water, no water." 
 
 At this point the ostler shook his fist in rage, accompa- 
 nied by an oath, exclaiming, — 
 
 "It is false, you brutes!" and hastened to fill their 
 troughs with a needless supply of com and water, sufficient 
 for several days. 
 
 The animals neighed, " Good ! this is what we wanted." 
 
 He did not stay to listen further, or to behold the gusto 
 with which the horses ate and drank, but made a rapid exit, 
 expressing his belief " that they were the d — I's horses." 
 
 This little episode was the theme of much jollity, and 
 during the remainder of my stay, the horses were well pro- 
 vided for. Many similar scenes of this character were con- 
 stantly occurring, which afibrded much merriment, and 
 insured the best offices of care for the " General " and 
 " Martin." 
 
 I continued my journey, receiving constant ovations 
 and courtesies, which provided me with a gayety of dispo- 
 sition that did not fail to impress me with a thoughtful 
 spirit. I could not help comparing my happy position 
 with the poor, sick, and unfortunate. At times, indeed, I 
 may assert that my mind was occupied with an expression 
 of acknowledgment to that source from whence we receive 
 all the love and goodness we enjoy, directing me on all 
 opportvmities to contribute to and assist the distressed and 
 deserving. I gave freely, and performed gratuitously for 
 
VAZITB OF A COLORED HEAD. 209 
 
 all societies and deserving objects, and realized an inexpres- 
 sible happiness thereby. 
 
 At this period — 183Y — the monetary affairs of the coun- 
 try were sadly inflated; the banks had everywhere sus- 
 pended specie payment, and issued an unlimited amount of 
 paper currency. Fabulous sums in shinplasters, from five 
 cents to a dollar, were circulated by the people, so that to a 
 considerable extent every man was a banker, and distributed 
 his own notes, promising to redeem them in bank bills 
 whenever a certain amount was presented. 
 
 In this manner every State was crowded with all de- 
 scriptions of worthless paper. Property and merchandise 
 became subject to the influence it produced, creating an 
 artificial value beyond belief. Many amusing instances to 
 me resulted from the exorbitant sums which storekeepers 
 . desired for their goods. 
 
 At Natchez I was looking at several pairs of boots sus- 
 pended at the door. When I inquired the price, the owner 
 replied, — 
 
 " Thirty-eight dollars." 
 
 "For the lot, sir?" 
 
 " No, sir, for one pair." 
 
 One storekeeper demanded eighteen dollars for a hat, 
 and when I observed it was an enormous price, answered, — 
 
 "That is not high, sir; I gave twenty-one hundred 
 dollars for that nigger's head you see there." 
 
 A Financial Crisis. 
 
 While in Mississippi, I had collected seven hundred and 
 fifty-five dollars of the Hinds County Bank at Clinton. 
 There were fives, tens, and twenties in post notes, including 
 thirty dollars in ones, which were payable in specie on de- 
 mand. The post notes were, like those of other banks, at 
 a great discount and almost valueless out of the State. I 
 
210 SHINPLASTBSS. 
 
 retained them until I arrived at Clinton, thinking I could 
 make better terms at the bank where they were issued. I 
 called with the expectation that I could purchase a draft on 
 ~Eew York, or some other northern city, but my hopes were 
 fiadly disappointed when I was ioformed that they would 
 only redeem the one-dollar notes ; the others they could not 
 give specie for until they arrived at maturity. I observed 
 that it would be impossible for me to keep them, especially 
 as they were of different dates, and I intended in a few days 
 to leave for St. Louis, where their money was foreign, and 
 it would be of little value. Therefore, I presumed that 
 they would discount them. 
 
 "Could not do that, sir. We should soon break." 
 
 " What ! not purchase your own notes ? " 
 
 "No, sir; not prepared to." 
 
 " That is singular," I replied. " Is there no one in the 
 town that would discount them ? " 
 
 "Yes," one answered, pointing to a dry-goods store. 
 " K you call upon the .proprietor, I think probably he may 
 oblige you." 
 
 I received all my pay in gold for the one-dollar notes, 
 and walked to the store mentioned, where I found the owner, 
 a polite geiltleman, but possessed of a sharp countenance. 
 
 After naming my business, he said he would exchange 
 for specie. 
 
 " At what rate ? " I asked. 
 
 " I will give you one hundred and twenty dollars for 
 your paper." 
 
 The reader may imagine I was a little more than sur- 
 prised at his offer. 
 
 " Did you not make a mistake, sir?" I inquired. 
 
 "No. I will give you one hundred and twenty dollars 
 in silver for your seven hundred and twenty-five in paper, 
 and I don't care to take it even at that." 
 
ST. LOUIS. 211 
 
 Finding it impossible to make better terms witb. bim, I 
 left and returned to tbe botel, with the supposition tbat I 
 sbould be fortunate enougb to meet with some person dis- 
 posed to be more liberal. I found several gentlemen will- 
 ing to accommodate me, but at no less rate tban tbe former. 
 After remaining in tbe place two days, I made a sale of it 
 for one hundred and thirty dollars, that being the highest 
 sum I could obtain for it. This sacrifice was nothing com- 
 pared with the insignificant value of some paper. 
 
 The destruction and loss entailed upon almost every one 
 was enormous. None escaped the terrific consequences that 
 ultimately resulted in banltruptcy. Counterfeit notes, and 
 those of broken banks, were circulated with the same free- 
 dom as the genuine. Extravagance and delusive wealth 
 predominated without limit, and when the explosion occur- 
 red, it was like the eruption of a volcano, leaving few rich 
 and many poor. As to the intrinsic value of money at this 
 period, I wUl give an instance : 
 
 The profits of my business during a journey of seven 
 months, amounted to thirteen thousand dollars, from which 
 I only realized thi/rty-s&oen hundred dollar's ! Such was 
 the character of the financial afi'airs of 1837! 
 
 I continued my peregrinations, and arrived at St. Louis, 
 a city occupying an important position in the commercial 
 history of the "West, and although limited in point of popu- 
 lation, there existed an indomitable energy of character 
 and business qualifications in the citizens at large, who, 
 prompted by a liberal policy, gave encouragement and 
 freedom to the interests of trade ; and to those principles, 
 combined with her extraordinary advantages, natural and 
 geographical, may be ascribed her present unbounded influ- 
 ence. A large proportion of the products with which the 
 boats on the Mississippi, Missouri, and Ohio rivers are laden 
 is -taken from her levee. 
 
212 SLAVE LABOR. 
 
 The rapid growtli of the city has indeed been marvel- 
 lous and gratifying. Her firm and untiring advocacy of 
 those issues that are unrestricted and benign, and which 
 accord so truthfaliy with the progress of the age, attract 
 the special admiration of all devotees of wisdom and 
 liberty. 
 
 I gave my exhibitions in the ball-room of the Planters' 
 Hotel, and was obliged to erect my own seats. For this 
 purpose I made a contract with a respectable master carpen- 
 ter. The following morning he came with five black men, 
 who performed the work under his direction, but in a slov- 
 enly and imperfect manner. At this time the mechanics 
 were mostly of the colored race, but when I again visited 
 the city, seven years after, I likewise had occasion to make 
 my own accommodations, and once more procured the above 
 person, who made his appearance with German carpenters, 
 and finished the work in an admirable and expeditious man- 
 ner ; and so, as emigration pursued its course westward, the 
 colored people gave way to the skill of the foreigner, and 
 in a short period the white citizen and laborer monopolized 
 every employment, by which means slave property became 
 unprofitable, and obliged the owners to dispose of them. 
 
 The city was pleasantly situated on the Missouri Kiver,- 
 with convenient and spaciou| streets, and all the opportuni- 
 ties for the display of taste and refinement. Pleasant so- 
 ciety and generous hospitality were the characteristics of 
 the inhabitants : a prevalent feature in western life. 
 
 j>s. Nervous Trayellei^^ 
 
 I left St. Louis for Louisville in a new iron steamer, 
 called the "Ion," in honor of Miss Ellen Tree, the charm- 
 ing actress who so exquisitely personated this character in 
 Mr. Talford's classically beautifdl tragedy of that name. 
 
 The boat was making her second trip. Shortly after 
 
MONOMANIA. FOB LIFE-PRESERVERS. 213 
 
 leaving, I became acquainted with one of the passengers, a 
 very pleasant Virginian, who had been in the interior of 
 Missouri to purchase land, and was now returning home to 
 take his wife and children to his new estate. 
 
 He was a man of good sound information, well acquaint- 
 ed with the history of his country, spoke of her in terms 
 of praise, whenever the subject deserved it, and condemned 
 that which all sensible Americans consider is not compatible 
 with her interest and honor. 
 
 Literatiire found in him a firm advocate, while the arts 
 and sciences animated his feelings as he discoursed of them. 
 His patriotism glowed with that quiet sensitiveness that 
 charmed every ear. He was good-looking, though corpu- 
 lent. After a few hours' association with him, I discovered 
 that, with his amiable qualities, he was extremely nervous, 
 for whenever the boat stopped to repleinsh her stock of fuel, 
 he would say, " My friend, let us hasten to the extreme end 
 of the boat; for if an explosion should occur, we should 
 have a better chance of escape." And whenever I at- 
 tempted to dismiss his fears, he would reply, " Friend, there 
 is much danger in the boat's stopping. I am always fearful 
 until a few moments have expired on her course." 
 
 The "Ion" had an innumerable quantity of life-pre- 
 servers suspended in various parts, for the protection of the 
 passengers, and my quondam acquaintance would constantly 
 promenade the deck with me, with one over his arm. I do 
 not ever remember to have met a person so apprehensive of 
 accident. 
 
 The second night, as we were steaming up the Ohio 
 River, we were thrown into great consternation by the boat 
 running upon a snag or tree buried in the river, one portion 
 of which was just beneath the surface of the water. The 
 shock was violent, and many others, as well as myself, were 
 precipitated from our berths, receiving numerous bodily 
 
214 DETERMINED TO FLOAT. 
 
 bruises. The shouts of voices, the rushing of the steam as 
 it escaped, the noise and confusion of passengers as they 
 frantically ran to and fro, greatly excited my apprehension 
 as to our situation. 
 
 Partially dressed, I hastened on deck, inquiring what 
 had happened, where we were, and what was to be the re- 
 sult. 
 
 'S.o one was capable of affording the least information, 
 and all were looking after their own preservation. Observ- 
 ing many with life-preservers, I ran to the place where I 
 had previously seen them, when, to my utter astonishment, 
 they had aU disappeared. At this instant the clerk of the 
 boat passed by, and assured me that there was no ground 
 for alarm, for the " Ion," instead of running against the 
 snag, was lying across it, and, in a short time, would be 
 able to proceed. 
 
 My anxiety being relieved, I turned to seek my Vir- 
 ginia friend, who I discovered on the lower deck, enveloped 
 in life-preservers. He was a perfect pyramid of them, for 
 scarcely a particle of his body was visible; a more comical 
 effect was never produced or witnessed. He looked Eal- 
 staff, complete. It was so grotesque that I laughed immod- 
 erately. He had placed four around his waisl, two on each 
 arm, and one attached to each leg. When the passengers 
 beheld him so equipped, their mirth was unbounded and 
 their wit unlimited. I inquired if he had entertained any 
 serious fright. 
 
 "Yes, indeed!" he replied, with much excitement; 
 " but I was determined to float, as you perceive ! " 
 
 During the continuation of our journey, the event was 
 a constant source of amusement, rendered especially so as 
 the author of our mirth kept possession of his preservers 
 until our arrival at Louisville, where I left the boat. My 
 nervous friend gave me his address, with a pressing invita- 
 
CHANGING A QUARTER TO A GOLD-PIECE. 215 
 
 tion to visit him, and talk over the — ^to him — ^wonderful 
 events of our voyage. 
 
 I have never had the pleasure of again meeting him, but 
 I frequently picture to myself, and describe to others, his 
 ludicrous appearance. 
 
 LotdsviHe was a neat, moderate sized city, the inhabi- 
 tants pleasant, social, and refined. Many families were im- 
 mensely wealthy, and not less liberal in their expenditures, 
 and encouraging the most expensive taste and splendor, 
 with gayety in Hfe. My professional exploits secured me 
 ^eat popularity and success. A little incident happened 
 to me here, which gave delight to the citizens, at my ex- 
 pense. 
 
 A OuicK-WiTTED Irishman. 
 
 "While conversing in a gi-ocery store with the proprietor, 
 an Irishman came in to make some purchases. The trader 
 was extremely anxious for me to astonish him by perform- 
 ing some feat, which I complied with. Before concluding, 
 I requested the loan of a quarter of a dollar from the Hi- 
 bernian, which he at first refused, and even when the store- 
 keeper pledged himself responsible for it, he reluctantly 
 gave it to me. I desired him to close his hand, and hold 
 the money secure, and I would change it to a five-doUar 
 gold-piece. 
 
 " Faith ! " he muttered, as he grasped the quarter, " it is 
 just as I would like ye to be alter doing, but I don't believe 
 ye can coin money so aisy. Let me see if you can do it ! " 
 he exciJtedly exclaimed. 
 
 " It is already done," I said. " Open your hand and 
 look." 
 
 The man cautiously relaxed his fingers, and, at the first 
 glimpse of the gold, jumped and hurrahed wildly, as an 
 Irishman only can; but when his curiosity was entirely 
 
216 OUTWITTED BY PATRICK. 
 
 satisfied as to its reality, he carefully deposited it in his 
 pocket, with many thanks, declaring me to be the most 
 wonderful man in the world. 
 
 I here desired him to replace the money in my hand, 
 and I would again convert it to the original quarter. 
 
 " Sure, after Mike being rich, would ye make him poor 
 again?" 
 
 " But you know it is only a trick," I answered. 
 
 " A thrick ? Divil a one ! Sure, man, it is a rale piece 
 of goold," — ^thrusting his hand into his pocket, to protect it 
 from any sudden or unperceived effort on my part to ex- 
 tract it. 
 
 " You know it is but a joke," I repeated. " Return me 
 the gold, and I will astonish you by transforming it into sil- 
 ver, once more." 
 
 " By St. Patrick, you had better not do that ! " 
 
 " Yes, you must give me back the gold." 
 
 " I would not part with it if priest McDermott bid me." 
 
 Finding my efforts to procure the money a failure, I 
 resorted to artifice by alarming his fears of my power to do 
 good or evil. I assured him that unless he returned the 
 piece of gold, he would be a miserable man all his life, for 
 it was Satan's coin, who was always around in search of his 
 own, and would take him away with the gold. 
 
 "Och! sure, your honor, the Holy Father will save 
 Mike, and if ye want any more silver quarters to change into 
 goold, come to Michael McCarty. He is the man for you." 
 And with these consoling words he walked rapidly away, leav- 
 ing me minus my half-eagle, while the storekeeper laughed 
 immoderately at the magician being outwitted by a son of 
 the Emerald Isle. 
 
 AU LoTiisville became cognizant of " the joke," as they 
 called it, and hugely enjoyed it at my expense ; but I could 
 not see it as such. 
 
A MAN OF LEISURE. 21'? 
 
 When I revisited the city, I learned that the smart Irish- 
 man frequently inquired after the man who made the five- 
 dollar gold-piece ! 
 
 A M.AN ON A Pleasure Toui^ 
 
 The peculiarities of travel in the United States singu- 
 larly impressed me, as it must all foreigners who visit the 
 country for profit or enjoyment. 
 
 In railroad cars, steamboats, and hotels, you are assuredly 
 certaia of meeting some acquaintance. In many instances 
 I encountered very singular evidences of American busiuess 
 and pleasure travelling combined — some so remarkable and 
 incredible as to produce admiration and wonder. Giant 
 efforts are undertaken, with a imanimity of thought and 
 action, only applicable to themselves. Naturally a people 
 of great fondness for pleasm-e and sight-seeing, their wan- 
 dering spirit has no limit, but, coupled with a desire to see 
 and learn, they view distances and adverse circumstances 
 as an impulse rather than an impediment. This characteris- 
 tic is truly and laughably estabhshed by the following : 
 
 On my travels in Kentucky I met a gentleman with 
 whom I was acquainted in the North. 
 
 After the usual congratulations, I inquired if he was resid- 
 ing in this State. " Oh ! no," he replied, with scmg-froid 
 expression, " I am on a pleasure tour." Encountering him 
 a few days after in the street, vrith a huge bundle of papers 
 under his arm, he remarked " that the times were veiy pre- 
 carious ; no money ; every one appeared to be insolvent ; 
 did not know what means he should resort to." 
 
 " What troubles you ? " said I. " Surely a person in pur- 
 suit of pleasm'e need not meet impediments in regard to the 
 character of the times." 
 
 " Yes, sir ; but I have several hundred bills to collect," 
 answered the pleasure-seeker, " and I have been unable to 
 10 * 
 
218 
 
 A PLEASintE TOUR. 
 
 procure as much as will suffice to pay my ordinary expenses, 
 althougli I have traversed this and three adjoining States, 
 the past six weeks, with accounts amounting to no less than 
 forty thousand dollars." 
 
 " Why, I really imagined you were on a pleasure tour." 
 " Oh, yes, I am," he replied, " with the exception of 
 making these collections, and searching after titles, and hold- 
 ing commissions for five commercial houses." 
 
 Such is a man of pleasure in the United States, and I 
 do not doubt he spoke the truth, for I am convinced you 
 cannot discover the American who does not mingle business 
 with his pleasure travel. 
 
CHAPTER XXI. 
 
 m THE BEITISH PEOYIUCES. 
 
 HE provinces of New Brunswick and 
 Nova Scotia being desirable points ta. 
 visit, I proceeded thence, direct from 
 Boston, in the autumn season, per 
 steamer "St. John." There was a large 
 number of passengers, composed of aU 
 nationalities, classes, and ages. It re- 
 minded me of Noah's Ark in miniature, for there were not 
 only men, women, and children, but goods, wares, and mer- 
 chandise of aU kinds and descriptions, with household fur- 
 nitiu'e of every variety, besides cattle and other four-footed 
 animals, without niunber. 
 
 In a few moments, I formed an affable acquaintance with 
 nearly all who desired or entertained any inclination to be 
 communicative, which enabled me to learn the antecedents 
 and past history of many, also their future prospects and 
 expectations in life. 
 
 They comprised pleasure seekers, business men, adven- 
 turers, and lovers ; and for a miscellaneous assemblage, their 
 views were above mediocrity. An American gentleman 
 inquired of a Nova Scotian, how he was pleased with his 
 visit to the United States ? 
 
 He replied, "Yery much, except its political charac- 
 ter." 
 
220 WASHINGTON AND NAPOLEON. 
 
 " "WTiy, it is our pride ; the admiration and hope of 
 mankind." 
 
 "But there is an excess of freedom; no restraint to 
 thought or action." 
 
 "These are the cardinal principles of our institutions. 
 Our forefathers fought vigorously and victoriously for them, 
 and they remaiu to-day an example of freedom, prosperity 
 and happiness." 
 
 "While I admit you enjoy many excellences, which 
 other nations would profit by adopting, yet this equality is 
 untenable, and unnatural. Society and authority demand a 
 line of demarkation." 
 
 *^ " This prevails abundantly, for the social elements of 
 life are not amenable to political jurisdiction." 
 
 " "While I admit the latter may predominate to an extent, 
 yet there is something in republicanism that is equaHziag, 
 without regard to merit or worth." 
 
 " Quite the contrary, sir. "We regard our warriors and 
 patriots with popular veneration. "We believe in our hearts 
 that Washington never had his compeer as a statesman or 
 General." 
 
 At this moment he was interrupted by a Frenchman 
 exclaiming, — 
 
 " Sir, excuse me, you make mistake ; the first General of 
 the world was Napoleon. Ah, sir ! you forget he conquered 
 kings and kingdoms. My dear sir, I admire Washington,' 
 but I love, reverence the Emperor Napoleon." 
 
 " It is but natural that you are endeared to Napoleon.' 
 AH history acknowledges his military genius ; but never- , 
 theless, in my own estimation, he was inferior to Washing- 
 ton in those attributes which give perfection to man ; for in 
 his efibrts to abolish monarchs he did not abolish monarchy, 
 while Washington, in establishing a republic, made every 
 citizen a nobleman, or gave him' the means to become one." 
 
A "DEAD-SEAD. 221 
 
 " You wrong the Emperor ; his glory is bright as the 
 summer's sun ; he fought the tyrants of Europe for civil and 
 political liberty." ' 
 
 " Tou naust remember, sir, America was very differently 
 situated ; a new country, unaccustomed to the influences of 
 wealth and a powerful aristocracy ; the cii'cumstances and 
 positions of each were very different ; both were great men, 
 but the exception in Washington's favor was, he was a great 
 and good man^ his life pure and unsullied, without a single 
 blemish upon his character." 
 
 These remarks evidently provoked the Frenchman, for 
 he drew up his shoulders, shook his head, and with much 
 excitement replied, — 
 
 "Pardon me, sir, I- cannot acknowledge your opinion 
 for the honor of France ; pride for the grand Emperor, and 
 my own consideration forbid it." 
 
 Here he turned away, and the party dispersed. 
 
 fs. M.YTH — One of the Smiths ! 
 
 A few moments before leaving the wharf, there was a 
 sharp controversy between the captain and a genteel-looking 
 man, who, it appeared, had on several occasions travelled on- 
 the boat without contributing the passage-money. Flat- 
 tered by his former success, he believed he could again 
 repeat the imposition ; but the clerk, not being desirous of 
 granting him the opportunity, demanded his fare. Smith 
 obsei-ved he would pay it when ready.- The clerk then 
 requested him to leave the boat. 
 
 " No, indeed ! I would Uke to see the man who could 
 put me off." 
 
 After an angry exchange of words, the captain was. 
 called, and promptly requested payment, not only for his 
 present passage, but for all previous ones. 
 
222 THE CAPTAIN AND SIS TBICKS. 
 
 "Now, captain, there is no need of your being so pro- 
 voked. My name is Ezra Smith, son of Ben Smith, and 
 nephew of Joe Smith, the Mormon prophet." 
 
 "I don't care for all the Smiths in . Pay your 
 
 money. We have no room for dead-heads." 
 
 " Let us talk the matter over, captain. The world will 
 not explode if a man's pockets are empty, and he don't 
 always have ready money to pay his way. Why should he 
 be called a dead-head ? " 
 
 " There, now, leave the boat, or I will throw you over- 
 board," at the same time pushing him toward the plank. 
 
 " Captain, hands off, or I'll take the law on you, sure as 
 my name is Ezra Smith." 
 
 "I don't care for the law; come, walk ashore," said 
 the captain, at the same time calling several of the crew. 
 They landed him on the dock, amidst much laughter, he 
 vehemently shouting, — 
 
 " It is an outrageous insult to the Smith family." 
 
 The night was soft, and the moon brightly illumiaatiag 
 and cheerful. The whole horizon presented the remarkable 
 feature of a prismatic curtain — ^not a speck or cloud, while 
 the vast space was one spectacle of harmony and beauty. 
 To insensible minds the splendid magnitude of the sight 
 would fail to attract admiration or reverence, for the potent 
 power of a benign, hand would be invisible to them, and 
 they never behold the glory and wisdom which give birth 
 to all that is magnificent and good, but gaze without a re- 
 flective thought or an inward praise. 
 
 Old Neptune was in the best of humor ; not a ripple 
 disturbed his ocean bed ; tie vessel fleetly moved over the 
 calm sea, emitting from her bow the phosphorescent light in 
 dazzling abundance. The captain of the boat was a wag — 
 at least-he pretended to be such. He had related several sin- 
 gular adventures he had participated in, such as the removal 
 
EZBA SMITH TUttNS UP. 223 
 
 of doorsteps, unfastening of bells, and exchanging sign- 
 boards, with other similar midnight depredations, arising 
 from his love of a good joke, as he said. 
 
 Fortunately I was unknown to him; neither was he 
 aware that there was a magician on board, which enabled 
 me to test his qualifications for encountering one of those 
 pranks he was so fond of enjoying at the expense and ridi- 
 cule of others. Tor this purpose it was necessary for me 
 to act with precaution, and then only as opportunity pre- 
 sented, especially as ventriloquists depend as much upon 
 favorable circumstances as upon science, or the artist's skill. 
 Nearly all the passengers had retired for the night, with the 
 exception of a few who could not resist the temptation of 
 strolling on deck, to enjoy the noble sight the heavenly 
 bodies afforded. For several hours I paced .every part of 
 the vessel, with the hope of meeting the captain ; but be- 
 coming weary and feeling fatigued, I, was about proceeding 
 to my berth, when I perceived him coming from the cabin. 
 Preparing myself for an interview, I saluted him, remark- 
 ing on the loveliness of the night. 
 
 "Yery fine," he replied, also remarking that he had 
 been suffering the past three hours with an excruciating 
 headache. 
 
 I stated that I had in my carpet-bag a peculiar powder, 
 a pinch or two of which would probably relieve him, as its 
 efficacious character had so frequently been tested. With 
 the utmost despatch I procured the restorative and gave it 
 to him, and after partaking liberally of the same, he de- 
 clared he had experienced much benefit therefrom ; at all 
 events, he was decidedly more lively and loquacious. "We 
 at last descended into the cabin, where he seated him- 
 self upon a large travelling trunk, when, to his great amaze- 
 ment, a voice proclaimed from the inside, — 
 
 "Halloo! captain." 
 
224 A GREAT MYSTERY. 
 
 In a moment he was on his feet, inquiring, with looks 
 • of intense interest, who was secreted there. 
 
 " It is only me," said the concealed one. 
 
 "Who are you?" demanded the captain, excitedly. 
 
 " Only an old friend — a dead-head," was the response. 
 
 "Have you not paid your passage-money?" questioned 
 the captain. 
 
 " Pay ! I never pay," retorted the imseen. 
 
 "What is your name ? " 
 
 " Ezra Smith." 
 
 The captain's countenance was petrified with astonish- 
 ment, and he observed to me that he thought he recognized 
 the tone at first, but he said, "Well, Ezra, you are a scamp. 
 I thought you were put off at the wharf? " 
 
 " So I was, captain, but I managed to get here, and un- 
 less you give me something to eat, I shall die from starva- 
 tion." 
 
 "A good thing if you do." 
 
 At that moment groans and moaning issued from the 
 trunk, which so affected the captain that he called for the 
 steward to bring a hatchet and some brandy, quick as possi- 
 ble; but it is needless to say that upon his opening the 
 trunk Mr. Smith was not to be found. The noise awakened 
 many from their sleep, who came rushing to the spot in 
 their night-garments, in time to witness the success of my 
 ruse. The mystery greatly perplexed and disturbed the 
 captain's mind ; so much so, that he emphatically declared 
 he believed some fearful calamity had occurred to Smith, 
 of which he was the cause, and that his spirit had truly 
 appeared. 
 
 The foUowipg morning the event was a theme of general 
 discussion, all unanimously agreeing that Smith was then on 
 board, or a fatal tragedy had overtaken him. Nothing of a 
 special character engrossed attention, until our arrival at 
 
A FULL DISCLOSURE. 225 
 
 Eastport, where the steamer was detained several hours dis- 
 charging cargo, and a vigilant watch was kept to discovei^ 
 Smith, which was a source of great amusement to me. 
 
 The boat again proceeded on its journey, after a com- 
 plete and indefatigable search had been njade for Smith, 
 whose whereabouts, living or dead, was of momentous con- 
 sequence to the captain, who, being of a speculative dispo- 
 sition in regard to spiritual manifestations, could not divert 
 his thoughts from the conviction he entertained of Ezra 
 Smith's death, and his own complicity. It was evident that 
 a few hours had effected an extraordinary change in his 
 appearance, for in his movements there was a total absence 
 of that vivacity and self-possession which at first impressed 
 me. Every footstep betrayed less activity, and a gloomy 
 care pervaded his countenance, as if some sad and portent- 
 ous event awaited him. 
 
 "With mingled feelings of satisfaction and sympathy for 
 his present unhappy condition, I concluded my object had 
 been attained, and the proper time had arrived for remov- 
 ing his fears and embarrassment, by acknowledging myself 
 the sole author of the misery and suffering he had endured. 
 This was the more necessary from the rapid pace at which 
 we were approaching our destination, when we shoidd in all 
 probability separate forever. There was but little time to exe- 
 cute my purpose, for the passengers were all busy collecting 
 their baggage, preparatory to landing. My first step was to 
 arrange for an interview. This was soon accomplished, and 
 without ceremony I proceeded to discharge my mission. 
 At the commencement he was reticent and guarded, which 
 was only relieved by the gradual development of the whole 
 plot, and my mischief. 
 
 "What ! do you mean to assert that Smith was not in the 
 trunk ? " he indignantly demanded. 
 
 " I do, most emphatically." 
 
 ) 10* 
 
226 SMITJa ONLY A MYTH. 
 
 "Is it possible my senses have so deceived me?" 
 
 " Precisely so, captain." 
 
 "Eut hove am I to account for the conversation,. and the 
 disappearance of the man? If not Smith, who was it?" 
 
 "A myth — one invented for the occasion. To be ex- 
 plicit, captain, I personated Smith by my powers of ven- 
 triloquism." 
 
 "Who are you?" 
 
 " Signor Blitz, at your service." 
 
 "What! the celebrated ventriloquist I have heard so 
 much of ? " 
 
 " I am the person." 
 
 " Then I am indebted to you for all the torments I have 
 experienced ? " 
 
 " Truly so — I was a witness to the altercation between 
 you and Smith — and I had the presumption to exercise my 
 professional abilities upon your credulity." 
 
 " Well, Signor Blitz, you succeeded admirably, and for- 
 getting all I have had to contend with, mentally and physi- 
 cally, on account of your roguery, I freely forgive you ; only 
 promise not to mention the subject to any person during 
 your stay in this part of the country, and be assured I shall 
 never hear the name of Smith again without being reminded 
 of you and my friend Ezra." 
 
 I promised, and faithfully kept it during my sojourn in 
 the town. 
 
 Shortly after my disclosure to the captain, we arrived at 
 St. John, a peculiar, quaint town, void of any attractive 
 feature. The houses were mostly built of wood, with no 
 pretension to architectural rule or taste whatever. 
 
 The inhabitants I found to be a rugged and unpretend- 
 ing people, genial and hospitable in their feelings toward 
 strangers, and unquestionably happy and contented in their 
 civil and political enjoyments, devoted in their attachments 
 
fjllse reports circulated. 227 
 
 to tibie mother coimtry, depending more npon the impe- 
 rial legislation for justice and material aid, than the wisdom 
 of their own provincial parliament, and those beneficial re- 
 qtdrements which should emanate from themselves, as a 
 people anxious and desirous of securing such legislation as 
 might be necessary to the development of their resources, 
 and a permanent assurance of prosperity for the future. 
 
 National blessings are the results of energy and judg- 
 ment, and may not always be secured without an indom- 
 itable struggle; yet, when consummated, they display a 
 pride aT>d glory in behalf of the nation, whose discernment 
 lost no time in anticipating and realizing them. 
 
 The busiuess of St. John was important, consisting 
 priucipally of large exports of lumber, ship-building, and 
 fisheries, which, if proper means had been used in giving 
 encouragement and opportunity for the development of 
 these and other advantages, the extent of trade would have 
 been infinitely greater. 
 
 The soil, for the most part, is unproductive, and the cli- 
 mate uninviting, especially so to emigrants who dislike 
 cold and severe winters of five months' duration. Yet 
 there are tracts of land of great fertility, which, with skill 
 and industry, make amends for the imfavorable seasons. 
 Iron, coal, and other minerals abound in immense quanti- 
 ties, which, of late years, have become a source of wealth, 
 and if the American spirit of progress was only imbued in 
 the character of the New Brunswick people, their trade 
 would be immense. 
 
 My professional exertions were bountifully rewarded, for 
 a crowded audience was in constant attendance. By my 
 patrons I was looked upon with anxiety and dread — suspi- 
 cious of my ability for good or evil. 
 
 It was declared that armies of mice infested every house, 
 as all the cats had been driven to distant localities by me ; 
 
228' PROOBESSIVE SPIRIT OF AMERICANS. 
 
 also, the cows failed to give their customary milk, much to 
 the discomfiture of every family. These, and other diabol- 
 ical visitations, were attributed to my influence, so that the 
 grave looked upon me with misgivings, and the young with 
 fear and anxiety. 
 
 At the close of my engagement, I proceeded by steamer 
 up the St. John Eiver, a beautiful and picturesque Stream, 
 with lovely and interesting scenery, — a miniature resem- 
 blance of the majestic Hudson, in its grandeur and magnifi- 
 cence,- — to Fredericton, the capital of the province. 
 
 I foimd Fredericton to be a small inland city, void of 
 every significant claim for its extent of commerce, or any 
 eflfort on the part of its inhabitants to promote it. 
 
 A silent submission yields to existing circumstances, 
 namely, a total indifference to progression, or that spirit 
 which buoys up hope and effort, and conquers even when 
 despair appears trimnphant. This trait is a distinguishing ■ 
 feature in the people of the British temtories of North 
 America, in whom there is not that intuitiveness that marks 
 the nervous sanguinity of native Americans, whose hap- 
 py felicity to embrace advantages have given them their 
 present greatness. To accoimt for the inertness of one and 
 the energy of the other is an enigma which embarrasses 
 the mind ; and when we refer to the rapid transformation 
 of wildernesses into States, with the growth of cities and 
 towns, we are impressed with amazement, yet we cannot 
 otherwise than premise that their immense strides toward 
 civilization and power must be based upon the liberal influ- 
 ences which the United States manifests toward emigrants, 
 a policy that inspires man with ambition for wealth and im- 
 provement. Bad government restrictions, and the multifa- 
 rious impediments which surround settlers in the English 
 possessions, must be the index to the tardy increase of their 
 population, 
 
a prophecy respecting slavery. 229 
 
 John 0. Adams. 
 
 My visit was a very agreeable one, and MgUy interest- 
 ing, not especially on account of my enthnsiastic reception, 
 but from several pleasing incidents. One was the arrival at 
 tbe liotel where I was stopping of John Q. Adams, accom- 
 panied by Ml". Curtis, of Boston, who had been on an ex- 
 tended tour through Maine and Nova Scotia, travelling 
 in that quiet simplicity which gives dignity to greatness 
 wherever it is known to exist, and which was so conspicu- 
 ous an element in the character of Mr. Adams, who was an 
 impressive conversationalist. 
 
 His years, experience, learning, and statesmanship gave 
 confidence to his words. He exhibited no erratic verbosity 
 of language, but, with a Greek and Roman earnestness, 
 personified wisdom in its various attributes. 
 
 American politics was a theme discussed with special 
 interest, occasioned by the approaching election which was 
 to take place in a few weeks — ^Mr. Yan Buren and General 
 Harrison being rival candidates. Mr. Adams warmly advo- 
 cated the claim of Mr. Harrison, with eloquence and argu- 
 ment, and declared that public opinion was so absorbed in 
 his favor that he would annihilate all opposition, and be 
 elected by a tremendous majority, which prediction history 
 has verified. 
 
 A gentleman inquired of Mr. Adams if he did not be- 
 lieve the slave oligarchy of the South would fall from its 
 own influences; remarking that their iUiberal and dictatorial 
 spirit disquieted pubHc sentiment, assumed an antagonist- 
 ical form to the great principles of true liberty, and that 
 the issue between slavery and freedom was fast approaching, 
 and God, in His righteousness, would visit retribution on 
 Southern institutions. 
 
 " Exactly so," he replied. " The intelligence of the age 
 
230 SIR JOHN HABVET. 
 
 is provoked by the assnmptioii of their public men, and the 
 toleration given by the convention of political parties in the 
 free States, to emolument and power. But the time is not 
 very remote when the combat between truth and error will 
 occupy the nation's mind ; and however great the struggle 
 may be between the existence of a free government or one 
 of an arbitrary and repugnant nature, I feel confident jus- 
 tice and wisdom will triumph." 
 
 Twenty years after these opinions were expressed, the 
 battle for human rights and liberty broke forth, and for a 
 period of four years was signalized by the most noble and 
 daring deeds of bravery and heroisni, with immense sacri- 
 fices of life and property ; but in the death of slavery, and 
 the great glory of universal liberty for all races and all 
 time, surely our anticipations have been realized to the full- 
 est extent. 
 
 Mr. Adams, in company with His Excellency General 
 Sir John Harvey, the governor of the province, Lady Har- 
 vey, and a distinguished party, attended my performance. 
 On their entering the hall, the whole male portion of the 
 audience arose out of respect to the distinguished person- 
 ages. The following , morning Mr. Adams left for the 
 TJnited States. 
 
 Sir John Harvey was an extremely popular man, and 
 much admired for his kind and benevolent nature. His ad- 
 ministration of public affairs was marked by a liberal and 
 conciliatory spirit, and he was noted for his hospitality to 
 Americans. 
 
 To his wise and just policy may be attributed our amic- 
 able relations with the English government during the 
 warlike excitement pending the boundary negotiations be- 
 tween the State of Maine and New Brunswick. 
 
CHAPTEE XXII. 
 
 A VISIT TO THE PROVINCE OF NOVA SCOTIA. 
 
 T returning to St. Jolm, I could leave 
 by steamer for "Windsor, Nova Scotia, 
 en route for Halifax. "We set sail at 
 midnight. A dense fog, such as is 
 known only in this climate, was pre- 
 vailing; not an object was visible to 
 the sight; the air was chilly,- which, 
 with the quiet gloom, engendered the most anxious thoughts 
 of awe and solemnity, and unaccountably impressed the feel- 
 ings with impending danger. 
 
 Fortunately the sea was unruffled, and the boat enabled 
 to pursue her course under a moderate pressure of steam, 
 piloted by the captain, whose watchful eye was ever upon 
 the "mariner's hope" — the compass — or endeavoring to 
 penetrate the thick atmosphere, while contending against 
 the fluctuating tides, which are so frequent in the Bay oi^ 
 Fundy, whose waters we crossed, but we arrived safely, at 
 noon the following day, at our destined port, favored by a 
 kind Providence and a skilfiil commander. 
 
 "Windsor was a pretty little place, and its commerce rap- 
 idly increasing, arising from its immediate vicinity to vast 
 mines of coal, plaster, and limestone, with many other im- 
 portant minerals. 
 
 It contained a university, and was the residence of 
 Judge Haliburton, the author of "Sam Slick" and other 
 
232 RESIDENCIS OF THE DUKE OF KENT. 
 
 works, that obtained for him, at that time, a popiJar celeb- 
 rity, and which were imquestionably written for the pur- 
 pose of picturing the inactive habits of his countrymen, the 
 Nova Scotians, in comparison with the busy and progressive 
 Americans. 
 
 After a pleasant ride by stage, of forty miles, over an 
 excellent and interesting road, I reached Halifax, the capital 
 of Nova Scotia, a garrison town, containing several barracks 
 and a dockyard, an extensive harbor, with large military 
 and naval fortifications. The town was clean, and neatly 
 built, with commanding streets and many spacious and com- 
 modious houses. The harbor is one of the finest on the 
 American continent, and, in the summer season, is remark- 
 able for its romantic, picturesque scenery. The eflfect upon 
 the traveller, as he enters from sea, is most grand and im- 
 posing. 
 
 Much nobility of character prevailed here, and few places 
 can claim a more refined society, partly attributable to its 
 being the residence of the governor of the province, and 
 the rendezvous of the admiral of the British fieet, who, with 
 the army, navy, and government oflBcials, gave a lively 
 tone to public and private afiairs. 
 
 The commerce of Halifax is principally fish, consisting 
 of salmon, cod, mackerel, herring, and alewives, dried, 
 pickled, smoked, and preserved, numerous quantities of 
 which are exported. 
 
 A few miles distant, on a popular and fashionable road, 
 was the former summer residence of his Royal Highness 
 the Duke of Kent, the father of Queen Victoria, who was 
 at one time the governor of the province of Nova Scotia. 
 It was beautifully situated, and no doubt originallyof great 
 elegance and magnificence, with all the adaptations for roy- 
 alty ; but when I visited the place, it was a ruin in the 
 completest sense of the word. The roof, doors, shutters, 
 
ANIMALS BEWITCHED. 233 
 
 and frames were all a momiment of wanton destruction and 
 dilapidation. The interior of the once gay and animated 
 halls was the home of the owl and rook. A trifling sum, 
 annually, would have preserved this agreeable and memo- 
 rable spot as a suburban resort for future executives ; but I 
 presume the Nova Scotians were not more overburdened 
 with a spirit of liberality than with pride. 
 
 Many of the inhabitants remembered the Duke with 
 great affection and regard, and they invariably spoke with 
 admiration of his various traits of kindness, and other noble 
 attributes. 
 
 The success I experienced was more than my hopes an- 
 ticipated. All classes vied with each other in patronizing 
 and extolling my efforts. The old and infirm, and the resi- 
 dents of the country for miles around, attended my soirees ; 
 and, as they had never had any previous opportunity of wit- 
 nessing entertainments similar to my own, they enjoyed 
 amazingly the wonders of magic and the ventriloquial mod- 
 ulations of the voice. I was, however, credited with every 
 variety of roguery and -mischief, which, if not absolutely of 
 a kindred character with the misdoings of the evil one, were 
 at least able personifications of his power. 
 
 The horses had become drones and refused to eat ; the 
 most faithful dogs were stupid and reluctant to obey ; house- 
 maids careless and inefficient in their duties, so that a gen- 
 eral grievance and disorganization prevailed in the domestic 
 arrangements of the people. These and similar absurdities 
 were attributed to my professional skill and sinful alliance. 
 To judge humanity severely for its excess of simplicity in 
 matters of apparent mystery, would be inconsiderate and 
 ungenerous ; yet it is impossible to avoid complaining of 
 the great amount of marvellous ignorance that is attached 
 ,to circumstances and events that are subject to a rational 
 explanation. 
 
234 application pob a warrant. 
 
 Golden Oranges, 
 
 A lively and highly entertaining scene occurred in this 
 place, between a vender of oranges and myself. She ac- 
 costed me on the street, with a basket of this delicious fruit, 
 importuning me with no ordinary praise of their superior 
 excellence. 
 
 " What is the price ?" I inquired. 
 
 " Three shillings a dozen, and cheap at that, sir." 
 
 " Are they sweet ? " 
 
 " Tes, like honey." 
 
 " If so, I will purchase some." 
 
 Taking my knife from my pocket, and cutting one into 
 two pieces, a golden sovereign lay in the centre, to the 
 amazement of the seller, who looked alternately at me and 
 the money with wonder. A similar coin appeared in an- 
 other, at which her countenance betrayed the most intense 
 surprise and delight, exclaiming, in an excited tone, — 
 
 " Golden oranges, by St. George ! " 
 
 A third orange was cut with the same success, when the. 
 woman suddenly stopped me, and commenced squeezing her 
 fruit, refusing to -part with any more of her valuable com- 
 modity : " They were not for sale ; that her fortune was 
 made." "With great animation and agility, she hurried to a 
 secluded spot on one of the wharves, where she cut up all 
 her oranges, without realizing a single golden hope. The 
 disappointinent was beyond her endurance. She came to 
 me, expressing her indignation and contempt, and applied 
 to the mayor of the city for a warrant to prosecute me for 
 being instrumental in destroying her prospects. I sent for 
 the deluded woman, and more than compensated her for the 
 loss she had sustained. 
 
 This transaction becoming known, created intense excite- 
 ment. The hall was constantly filled until the close of my 
 
UP THE ST. LAWRENCE. 235 
 
 engagement, by pleasure-seekers and others interested, al- 
 though, by some I was condemned and stigmatized as a 
 representative of sin, from some bottomless pit, and a per- 
 secutor of the human race. 
 
 My appearance was a special object of interest to the 
 poor, unwise believers in witchcraft, and, although I ear- 
 nestly endeavored to convince them of their unphilosophical 
 and erroneous ideas, and that my feats were natural experi- 
 ments, my reasonings were powerless. The bad assailed 
 me, and the self-righteous shook their heads with suspicion, 
 and thus I was treated until my departure. 
 
 After a profitable and agreeable visit to Pictou and 
 Truro — certainly the most interesting, fertile, and promising 
 portions of Nova Scotia — I returned to Halifax and took my 
 departure by steamer for Quebec, in Lower Canada, passing, 
 through the Gut of Canso, up the St. Lawi-ence river. 
 
 During the passage, the coal on board the vessel ignited, 
 and produced no little alarm among the passengers and 
 crew, but, by the blessing of Providence, and the increasing 
 diligence of the captain, officers and sailors, the fire was 
 extinguished. The weather was favorable, which materially 
 assisted in preventing any serious disaster, as it enabled the 
 seamen to labor with little or no difficulty. 
 
 When all danger was removed, and every countenance 
 beamed with cheerfulness, I was solicited to exercise my 
 ventriloquial powers in the cabin, to which all disengaged 
 from duty were invited. The steward, a Canadian by birth, 
 declared that I had control of all the fairies- on sea and 
 land, for they sang and conversed with me at command. 
 
 Quebec. 
 
 Quebec was an ancient city, with all the antiquated prin- 
 ciples of the past, with opporttmities for improvements in 
 comfort and wealth ; a lingering spirit prevailed for old land 
 
236 CANADIANS DBFICIENT IN ENERGY. 
 
 marks and business propensities that neither enriched or 
 assimilated with the times. No one could sojourn a day in 
 the place without observing the lamentable inconveniences 
 and deficiencies. Perhaps this insensibility to public and 
 private welfare may, in a measure, be assigned to the oppo- 
 site elements that exist in the French and English character, 
 which greatly predominates here, and whose nationalities 
 have frequently been embittered and provoked, so as to 
 create little or no sympathy or union of feeling. To these 
 and other causes is to be attributed their slow progress and 
 dim faculties; for, favored with an immense producing 
 country, and highly important water communications and 
 privileges, there are few of those practical combinations 
 that give success to commercial enterprise and manufactur- 
 ing spirit. A complete laxity of resolution and energy 
 exhibits itself, and a comparison with the extraordinary 
 entei-prise of their Anaerican neighbors cannot but startle 
 the reader witli amazement, and impress the mind with 
 conjecture at its unaccountabihty. 
 
 Quebec was settled in the year 1608, two hundred and 
 thirty odd years previous to my visit, in 1840. It then 
 contained a population of thirty thousand, with a trade light 
 and less in importance than that of hundreds of towns of 
 one fifth its numbers, and not a quarter of a century in 
 existence. 
 
 American energy and perseverance, combined with indus- 
 try, has so far outstripped their Canadian brethren, as to 
 stamp them their superiors for those practical purposes 
 which give a standard to a nation. 
 
 This truth is confirmed in the numerous States that have 
 become a part of the American Confederacy, many of which 
 were an uninhabited wilderness thirty years since, whose 
 population to-day are numbered by millions, with cities of 
 several hundred thousand- inhabitants ; people of genius 
 
GREAT CUBIOSITT OF TSE PEOPLE. 237 
 
 and force, marching onward in the great advance of the 
 world's progress, building up a vast empire, and expanding 
 those influences that promote virtue and happiness. This 
 powerful energy is continually developing itself, without 
 Kmit or exhaustion, and, although occasionally these efforts 
 may fail from some untoward circumstances, or by over- 
 reaching and speculation, the persevering march continues 
 unabated. 
 
 If Canada, a hundred years since, had become indepen- 
 dent of British alliance, her present history in the world 
 would have been far more glorious — greater in the arts and 
 sciences, her commerce immense, and her enormous tracts 
 of unpopulated, uncultivated land improved and settled 
 upon, with commanding towns, secure for all time, no mat- 
 ter what political faith her citizens may have adopted. . 
 
 M.J appearance in public was hailed with extraordinary 
 expressions of delight and wonder. All classes attended 
 my representations, many of whom manifested frightfol 
 thoughts as to my abilities and the exercise thereof. Others, 
 again, of wiser philosophy, admired my exhibitions for illus- 
 trating how successfully the senses were capable of being 
 deceived. Tet, I was accused of committing every form of 
 mischievous pranks. Infants were sleepless, pianos out of 
 tune, and lights burned dimly ; and one poor, feeble-minded 
 woman called and beseeched me to have compassion upon 
 her child, whose eyes had not been closed for nearly a week. 
 Such instances of folly awakened the most unpleasant 
 thoughts, and imhappy regrets that ignorance should be so 
 prevalent among them. 
 
 My notoriety had become so general, that the curiosity 
 to witness my marvels was not confined alone to the lovers 
 of amusement. The clergy, and devout of all sects were 
 more than ordinarily interested. They could not conceive 
 me to be the representative of error, or that my art was 
 
238 TME SON OF JEBIN. 
 
 pernicious to the morals, and, in giving countenance to my 
 necromancy and ventriloquial powers, they supposed it 
 would operate to disahuse the minds of the believers in the 
 evil of my wonders, and convince them that my exhibitions 
 were of a natural character, and their success attributable to 
 the adroitness and perfection I had arrived at, in the art. 
 
 Before the Bishops and Clergy. 
 
 While these views were entertained and expressed, I 
 was invited to give a special performance at the Koman 
 Catholic Seminary, an institution valued for its high repute 
 and scholastic attainments. 
 
 The event was peculiarly gratifying, as my audience 
 was composed of two bishops and sixty-five gentlemen in 
 "Holy Orders," besides several hundred scholars and 
 domestics. A more joyous and happily excited party I 
 cannot remember. The prelates were pleased, and laughed 
 incessantly, and cheerftilly loaned me their rings and hand- 
 kerchiefs to manipulate with. The person who assisted me 
 was an honest son of Erin, who had charge of the cattle 
 necessary for the establishment. He was the subject of 
 frequent mirth, especially when a calf blated seemingly 
 from him, which convulsed the company with the most 
 uproarious laughter. 
 
 The scenery and views from every part of the city was 
 magnificent, the public squares and walks handsome in the 
 extreme, containing monuments to Wolfe and Montcalm,' 
 generals in the French and English armies, who feU at the 
 taking of Quebec, in 1759, 
 
 M.ONTREAL, 
 
 My next move was to Montreal, which presented the 
 opposite impression from Quebec. 
 
 The people were more active, as a locomotive pressure 
 
ALLEGED MIRACLES. 239 
 
 animated every pursnit; hands and minds were on the 
 alert, engaged vigorously in the construction of railroads 
 and manufacturiag establishments, extension of commerce, 
 or other progressive movements tending to prosperity. The 
 upper part of this city is admirably laid out, with fine 
 streets and conveniently-constructed houses of gray stone ; 
 the public buildings spacious and numerous; the quays, 
 locks, and wharves were of cut stone and heavy masonry, 
 unequalled on the whole continent of North America for 
 extent of structure, durability, and grandeur. Montreal 
 has within herself untold evidences of future greatness. 
 
 My exhibitions assumed more than a marked notoriety, 
 as the whole population at once became interested therein. 
 I was the object of every eye, and the mark of the curious. 
 All grades of society crowded the theatre, manifesting their 
 applause and astonishment. Eeports were circulated as to 
 the strange things I had accomphshed in the progress of my 
 travels ; how I healed the sick and enriched the poor ; that 
 the natural laws yielded to my purposes ; old people became 
 young ; the ugly beautiful ; signs disfigured and misplaced ; 
 these and other extravagances were fearlessly asserted by 
 many citizens of a credulous nature to be my diabolism, and 
 immensely enhanced my success. 
 
 At this period the pohtical tranquillity of the country 
 had become perplexed by the annexation of Upper to 
 Lower Canada. Party feeling was bitter and personal. 
 The consummation of the act was opposed as unwise and 
 detrimental to public interests, but this fallacy has been dis- 
 proved by the material happiness, great prosperity, and in- 
 crease of population since its accomplishment. 
 
 The Governor- General. 
 
 Lord Sydenham, who was at this time the Governor- 
 General of Canada, encountered much opposition in passing 
 
240 NEWSPAPER BULLETS. 
 
 the measure. The sarcasm of the press and the people was 
 Yiolent beyond reason. As a proof of this, I quote the fol- 
 lowing passages from the papers, which honored me by a 
 connection with his lordship : 
 
 [From the Montreal Messenger, November 3, 1840.] 
 "SIGNOE BLITZ. 
 
 ""We have more than once alluded to this renowned 
 magician, who, during the last week, has been astonishing 
 the senses of the citizens of Montreal. "We learn with sur- 
 prise, however — for we did not know that he was a Her- 
 cules also — that he draws great houses nightly. 
 
 " It was with much greater surprise we read the follow- 
 ing, which we copy from the Montreal Herald: _ 
 
 " Signer Blitz's performances at the Theatre Eoyal con- 
 tinue to attract good houses, in spite of the inclemency of 
 the weather. We understand he is to exhibit his dicMerie 
 at the Government House, on Monday evening. 
 
 " There is some mistake in that, ' for sure,' as the boys 
 say. Who tries to sell wooden nutmegs to Yankee ped- 
 dlers ? Who throws pearls before ? — (it would be vulgar 
 
 to say what, therefore we forbear putting the animal into 
 print). Who carries coal to Newcastle ? Who gilds refined 
 gold? Who paints a lily? Therefore, we say, there is, 
 ' for sure,' some great mistake in the announcement of our 
 typographical chum. 
 
 " There is already a great deal of diaMerie of one kind 
 and another going on at the Grovemment House, or else the 
 world is sadly given to — (another word which it is impos- 
 sible we should use). This. Canada of ours is remarkable 
 for the number of magicians ; our French call them sacres 
 asirologues ! We believe they have the impudence to call 
 Her Majesty's Kepresentative by that name. That Signor 
 Blitz should go to the Government House to exhibit his , 
 
ENTERTAINMENT AT TSE GOVERNMENT BOUSE. 241 
 
 diablerie is a thing we will not beKeve, any more than 
 that the moon is made of gi-een cheese. 
 
 " Why, Signor Blitz would be ashamed of himself before 
 he had been five minutes ia the saloon. What should we 
 have thought of Major-General William Henry Harrison, 
 of the United States army, although a very rerrmrhahle 
 military hero, if he had ventured to insbnict the conqueror 
 of Marefigo and Austerlitz in the art of war? What, 
 then, should we think of Signor Blitz? No, no, Mr. Blitz 
 is not quite so green as that. 
 
 "When the magician we allude to ^o\, Usse French, to 
 agree to the Union of the Canadas, about a year since, aJl the 
 French — vide the despatches — ^was not that wonderful? 
 Did he not get the ' family compact ' of Upper Canada to 
 agree to it too ? Was not that wonderful ? He has done 
 more than that, however. He has converted into thick and 
 thin admirers of Whigs and Whiggery (those atrociously 
 vidga/r persons and that thimble-rig thing) the rabid, high- 
 flown Tories of Canada ! What do you think of that, Mr. 
 -Blitz? Go to Grovemment House to exhibit your dia- 
 hlerie! The thing is impossible! If it had been an- 
 nounced that Signor Blitz was going to — (that is really too 
 vulgar a place to print), we might have believed it, although 
 to exhibit diablerie there would have been, in truth, wast- 
 ing sweetness on the desert air ; but the going to Govern- 
 ment House for such a purpose — ^Ha! ha! ha! ha!" 
 
 " Signor Blitz exhibited his wonderftil sleight of hand 
 tricks yesterday evening, in presence of that illustrious po- 
 litical conjuror, the Governor General. Sm-prising as are 
 the Signer's optical ^illusions, they are immeasurably sur- 
 passed by what has been performed by his excellency by 
 way of Jim Crow change in politics, on the part of the in- 
 habitants of Upper Canada, 
 11 
 
242 EXAGaEBATED REPORTS. 
 
 "We know not what may have been the respective feel- 
 ings of the aristocratic and plebian conjurors on beholding 
 each other face to face ; but we suppose they both laughed 
 in their sleeves, at each other and at the public, and admired 
 their mutual dexterity on their own peculiar stages." — 
 Montreal Herald, Nov. 3, 1840. 
 
 The entertainment at the Government House was a 
 brilliant affair. The heads of the various departments, and 
 a select number of the elite and fashion of the city were 
 present. The next morning I received the following letter : 
 
 " The aid-de-camp in waiting is commanded by His Ex- 
 cellency the Governor-General, Lord Sydenham, to state 
 that Signer Blitz performed at Government House on Mou; 
 day evening, November 2d, to the satisfaction of his lord- 
 ship and a numerous party. 
 " Govebnmeot: House, Monteeal, Nov. 3, 1840." 
 
 Lord Sydenham was a quiet, unassuming gentleman, 
 the first and last of his title, originally an eminent mer- 
 chant of London. He entered Parliament in early life, and 
 in the course of a few years, became distinguished for his 
 practical knowledge of Commerce, which procured him the 
 appointment of President of the Board of Trade. Ulti- 
 mately he accepted the governorship of Canada, and was 
 made a peer. The mental and physical labor connected 
 with his administrative duties, and the bitterness with 
 which hie assailants assaulted his government, so overtaxed 
 his endurance that he shortly died. 
 
 Toronto. 
 
 Having concluded my prosperous engagement, I en- 
 joyed a brief vacation, and next appeared at Toronto. The 
 
Sm GEORGE ARTBXm. 243 
 
 numbers who attended were immense. Soon the usual ex- 
 aggerated stories were in circulation, concerning not only 
 my professional skill, but which attributed to me exploits far 
 more wonderful than those related of Agrippa, Dr. Faustus, 
 and other mighty professors of magic in the olden time. 
 
 These rumors greatly interested the admirers of mys- 
 tery, as well as those of a more pious nature ; and when- 
 ever I attempted to vindicate myself from such ridiculous 
 tales, the more inclined were they in the behef of my guilt. 
 As might have been expected, my audiences were immense, 
 and the enthusiasm extravagant. 
 
 I was invited to give an entertainment at the Govern- 
 ment House in this city, and received the following letter 
 after the same was concluded : 
 
 " GOVEEMMENT HoUSE, ToEONTO, 
 
 11th February, 1841. 
 
 " The aid-de-camp in waiting is dirfected by Sir George 
 Arthur to express to Signor BKtz the great satisfaction felt 
 by His Excellency, Lady Arthur, and a numerous party of 
 Mends, with his performance at Government House this 
 evening. 
 
 " To Signor Blitz." 
 
 Sir George Arthur was Lieutenant-Governor of Upper 
 Canada, a plain, practical gentleman, of retiring habits, 
 with no extreme political principles or special characteris- 
 tics, but honestly disposed to promote the happiness and 
 welfare of the people. 
 
 Toronto is beautifully and advantageously situated on 
 Lake Ontario, and certainly one of the prettiest places in 
 Canada. 
 
 The city contains numerous attractions in its public 
 buildings and benevolent institutions; also, fine and spa- 
 
244 
 
 CITY OF TORONTO. 
 
 cioTis streets, and well-built houses. Its population and com- 
 merce have increased with amazing rapidity, outstripping 
 all other cities in British America, and fully equalling in 
 growth the most BuccessM ones in the United States, and 
 her citizens have favored all the various projects for advanc- 
 ing in the great van of human progress. 
 
 I continued my perambulations, visiting all the princi- 
 pal places in Upper Canada, meeting with the most liberal 
 patronage and the cordial welcome of the public at large. . 
 A large portion of the country was well adapted to agricul- 
 tural pursuits, the soil being fertile and productive, and the 
 people engaged in cultivating the same appeared to be con- 
 tented and industrious, and their minds were but little dis- 
 turbed either by the vagaries of politicians or the ostenta- 
 tion of fashion. 
 
CHAPTEE XXni. 
 
 A FEW LAUGHABLE rNCTOENTS. 
 
 IVU^fG my whole time and attention to 
 ^ my profession, I soon completed my en- 
 gagements in Upper Canada, and returned 
 if] to Boston, en route for New Tork, and, 
 3S«^ as usual, met with many laughable inci- 
 dents on the way, which may interest the 
 reader, and therefore I will relate a few of them. 
 
 The Wise Turkeys. 
 
 At one place a marketman had some fine turkeys in his 
 wagon, and was selling them quite rapidly, when I stepped 
 up and inquired the price. 
 
 " Twelve and a half cents a pound," said the owner. 
 
 " Twelve and a half cents ! " I exclaimed ; " why, that's 
 an extraordinary charge for stale poultry," effecting a slight 
 nplifting of the nose, as I uttered the last words. 
 
 " Stale ! " shouted the farmer ; " you're no judge ; " and 
 placing his arms akimbo, he eyed me with a fierce expres- 
 sion. 
 
 " Keep cool," I replied ; " this matter can be soon set- 
 tled without a quarrel, for the turkeys know how long they 
 have been killed, and I have the powerof giving them voice 
 to teU, if you will but submit to their verdict." 
 
 The farmer, at this, laughed immoderately, and seemed 
 now to regard me as just out of a lunatic asylum. I, 
 
246 TBE GOBBLEB'S TALK. 
 
 however, retained my gravity, and pertinaciously insisted 
 upon putting the question to the turkeys, offering to give 
 twenty dollars for the six which were in the cart, if one of 
 them did not confirm the charge I made. 
 
 " Well, you're one of 'em," replied the farmer ; " I'E 
 do it ; put up your money." 
 
 I took four eagles out of my pocket and placed them in 
 the hands of a spectator — a large crowd having now col- 
 lected — telling him that if the first turkey I lifted did not 
 say he was killed last fourth of July, he (the farmer) was to 
 have the gold. 
 
 All was now arranged, and I grasped one of the largest 
 of the turkeys, and said to it, in a solemn tone of voice, — 
 
 " When were you killed, old gobbler ? " 
 
 " On the fom-th of July last," said, or seemed to say, the 
 turkey. 
 
 The farmer's eyes stood out about, two inches from his 
 head, as he cried out, " It's a darned lie ! " 
 
 To be brief, I was soon recognized, and the whole mys- 
 tery was speedily explained, entirely to the satisfaction of 
 the farmer, for the last words he said on my leaving him 
 were, — 
 
 "I'll be hanged if I don't take all my folks to see 
 Blitzen, if it costs me the whole six of the talking turkeys." 
 
 The Astonished Clergyman. 
 
 While chatting with a few friends, one Saturday after- 
 noon, in the United States Hotel at Hartford, a clerical gen- 
 tleman, of mUd demeanor, entered and examined the regis- 
 ter, for he was expecting, as he observed, a brother minister, 
 to officiate in his pulpit the following morning. One of the 
 gentlemen present, of humorous character, remarked to me 
 
 that the stranger was the Kev. Mr. , of a neighboring 
 
 village, to whom he was desirous I should be introduced. I 
 
tHE ASTONISHED CLERGYMAN. 247 
 
 endeavored pleasantly to decline the honor, as I concluded 
 the introduction would not be profitable or agreeable to 
 either of us, on account of the decided impression I enter- 
 tained in regard to his physiological developments, which 
 idtimately. proved my sagacity ; but my friend B— ^ — , one of 
 the old Knickerbockers of Hartford, was irresistible, and I 
 was formally presented, and at the same time requested to 
 perform, for his gratification, a particular feat, to prove by 
 my skill how the mind and vision could be deluded in the 
 open daylight, independent of all preparations and fixtures. 
 I consented, and succeeded admirably ; but the effect upon 
 him was such, that without the least hesitation, and in the 
 most abrupt manner, he commenced declaiming against my 
 pursuit, and expressed his opposition to all amusements, 
 considering them frivolous and dangerous to the welfare of 
 mankind. His words were so unwelcome and ungenerous, 
 that I endeavored to convince him to the contrary; and 
 while engaged in this object, my attention was directed 
 to a slight pressure upon my back, and, placing my hand 
 there, a pack of cards were dropped ■ into it. This was 
 ammunition I little expected, and I determined to use it to 
 the best advantage. 
 
 " Why, sir," I said to the domine, " you are the last 
 person to take exceptions, or speak unfavorably of innocent 
 recreations, when you, a minister of the Gospel, carry cards 
 about with you, to play your games in some sly corner, per- 
 haps for drinks and money." 
 
 "What's that you say, sir! I have cards? you are 
 insane ! " he spiritedly replied. 
 
 " Oh, yes ! you are entirely mistaken, Signor," cried the 
 wag, my confederate ; "for Mr. is a strict, unwaver- 
 ing, orthodox preacher." 
 
 " That may be," I answered ; " but he plays cards, never- 
 theless ; he has them in his pocket now " and to prove my 
 
248 A MISOSISrOUS IKIEim. 
 
 assertion, I drew a quantity from the shawl round his neck, 
 and with great rapidity deposited the balance in his pocket. 
 
 The reverend gentleman looked confused and serious; 
 my droll assistant, Mr. B., again declared L was in error, 
 and at the same time piit me ia possession, of the back- 
 gammon box and dice. 
 
 " WiU you satisfy all present, and myself, that yoahave 
 no cards in your pocket," I resolutely demanded. 
 
 " Oh, yes ! with pleasure ; I despise such articles," he 
 reiterated, as he thrust his hand into his pocket, from whence 
 he drew the cards, the appearance of which overcame him 
 with amazement and fright. 
 
 I, excitedly exclaimed, " I knew I was right! and. that 
 is not, all, you. are an expert gambler, for look here," I con- 
 tinued, taking the hatfrom his head, out of whicli tumbled 
 the box and dice. 
 
 This so completely nonplussed liim, that for a few 
 moments he was powerless of speech. Eecovering liimself, 
 however, he moved toward the door, and, speaking in. a 
 severe tone, said, — 
 
 "You'll do, sir! you'll do!" and quickly left for the 
 street. 
 
 The effect upon all was intensely rich and. memorable, 
 and no one better appreciated the incident than myself; 
 but, without the voluntary aid of my mischievous friend, I 
 could not have triumphed so successfully. The story spread 
 far and near, and gave rise to great mirth ; and an editor 
 of one of the city papers published in his daily issue that 
 the clergyman would not have been more surprised if he 
 had found a sheep in his pocket. 
 
 While in New Haven, Connecticut, I spent an evening 
 at the Tontine Hotel, in company with several gentlemen 
 of that city. Quite an animated and interiesting discussion 
 arose, respecting the theory and practice of picHng pockets. 
 
PROFESSIONAL TBIEVES. 249 
 
 Of course, the opinions given were materially opposite, yet 
 their conclusions and inferences were not totally void of 
 truth. One declared that success was entirely attributable 
 to nimble fingers ; another, to the absence of mind on the 
 part of those victimized ; a third maintained it proceeded 
 from the robber's instinct and knowledge of mankind, as 
 invariably the pocket-books were valuable and usually well 
 fiUed ; finally, I was solicited to state my views. I replied 
 it was a business, and the people who pursued it made it 
 the exclusive study of their lives, and that few were safe 
 from their depredations. One of the party, a vain and posi- 
 tive person, joined issue with me, by emphatically announc- 
 ing that he defied any one to extract his pocket-book from 
 his pocket. 
 
 " Why, the Signer himself can do it," said one of his 
 friends. 
 
 " I greatly doubt it," replied the gentleman in question. 
 
 " Convince him. Signer ! " all exclaimed. 
 
 I jocosely said I could not at the present time, from the 
 simple fact that he had neither money or pocket-book about 
 his person. 
 
 "Yes, I have," he sharply retorted, at the same moment 
 producing from his pocket one of an uncommon size, which 
 created a general smile. " Here it is," he continued, " con- 
 taining two hundred dollars ; and if yon can remove it from 
 me, you are welcome to it and its contents." 
 
 To this I replied, " I seldom exercise my abilities upon 
 friends, although there are occasions when circumstances 
 compel me to vindicate my professional powers in opposi- 
 tion to my feelings." 
 
 "I scarcely think. Signer," he responded, "that you 
 have the ingenuity," — at the same time placing his pocket- 
 book on his knee, beneath the table. The conversation as- 
 Bumed a political turn, and, during the excitement it pro- 
 11* 
 
250 PICKIN& POCKETS. 
 
 Toked, my friend forgot all precaution in regard to his 
 pocket-book, which neglect was taken advantage of by 
 the gentleman occupying the adjoining chair, who gently 
 abstracted it from its position, and passed it to me. This I 
 little anticipated ; however, it gave me the opportunity of 
 triumphing over my obstinate companion. We separated 
 late at night, and when I was confident he had retired to 
 bed, I repaired to his residence, and rang the door-bell 
 with energy, until he threw up the window, peevishly in- 
 quiring who it was, and the object of the visit. 
 
 "It is only me — Signer Blitz — ^briaging your pocket- 
 book." 
 
 "What! my pocket-book?" he cried. "Oh! that's a 
 joke!" 
 
 " Ifot in the least, for I have it here. Shall I throw it 
 up to you ? " 
 
 " No ; I'U come down," he answered ; but first he exam- 
 ined his pockets, when the fact became apparent that, with 
 all his shrewdness, he was as capable of having his pocket 
 picked as others who were less pretentious and defiant. 
 
 When he appeared, he looked bewildered ; and, being 
 but half dressed, presented an exceedingly ludicrous pic- 
 ture. It was a late hour, and I did not pause to answer his 
 questions, but wished him pleasant dreams. Early the fol- 
 lowing morning he came and urged me to relate by what 
 means I had become possessed of his pocket-book — ^for it 
 appeared to him a complete mystery. 
 
 In thus announciag my views as to pocket-picking, I 
 do not wish it to be understood that I am a professional in 
 that line, especially as in this case I was simply a receiver. 
 
 A Family Bedroom. 
 
 At one of the hotels in a western city, after being light- 
 ed to my room in the fourth story at bed-time, I retired to 
 
A FAMIZr BUDSOOM. 251 
 
 rest; the room, although elevated, was commodious, and 
 in a distant corner was another bed. The moon, although 
 full, could scarcely, with all its penetrating powers, force 
 its inflected rays into my room, owing to the cloudiness 
 of the atmosphere, and the bleached domestic hanging 
 before my windows. I had been in bed, perhaps, half 
 an hour, when I heard footsteps approaching my door, 
 which was opened noiselessly, and two well-dressed men 
 entered. I could see there were two — only when moving, 
 however — and my first thought was one of apprehension ; 
 but upon their going silently to bed, I concluded to play 
 off a little joke upon my neighbors. I began to imitate an 
 old man of the coxmtry, with a cracked voice, and a long, 
 spitting cough. By his side, apparently, lay his beloved 
 companion, offering a word or so of advice, whenever an 
 opportunity permitted. Even the innocent infant was not 
 forgotten ; for, awakened by the restlessness of its parents, 
 it manifested its vexation by plaintive wailing. " Old be- 
 loved" became furious at the disturbance; mamma vented 
 her spleen upon baby, and confusion was fairly rioting over 
 in my corner. About this time, I noticed a head pop up 
 from the other corner. 
 
 " Bob ! Bob ! " whispered the head. " Bob ! we have 
 made a serious mistake, and got into a family room." 
 
 "Old man," whispered the old woman, "didn't you 
 hear some one open the door ? " 
 
 " No, no ! go to sleep ; you are always thinking about 
 ghosts." 
 
 The head brought out from imder the cover a body and 
 thin legs. 
 
 " Bob," said the hea,d, " you can stay if you are a mind 
 to, but I am going." And out came the head and legs, fol- 
 lowed by Bob, now aroused to consciousness of the peculiar 
 delicacy of his situation ; but little time was takgn to clothe 
 
252 A SEBI0U8 MISTAKE. 
 
 themselves, for the door was immediately opened, and the 
 head and Bob disappeared, with the balance of their cloth- 
 ing. It required all the nerve I possessed to restrain my 
 laughter while they were hastily decamping, yet I kept up 
 the conversation between the "old beloved'-' and mamma, 
 and the crying of the child. 
 
 But a few minutes elapsed ere the door was again opened, 
 and the clerk, followed by the head and Bob, entered and 
 approached my bed, as I feigned heavy sleep. 
 
 " You see, you are mistaken," said the clerk* 
 
 " I tell you," replied the head, " that Bob and I were in 
 that bed yonder — see where we occupied it — and we heard 
 a man, his wife, and I don't know how many children, over 
 in this corner." 
 
 The muscles of the clerk's cheeks began to twitch, and 
 Bob seemed touched with awakening intelligence. As pro- 
 found as was my slumber, I could scarcely resist laughing 
 aloud. 
 
 " Do you think that fellow has been playing a trick on 
 us?" asked the head. 
 
 " "Well, it kinder looks so," said the clerk. 
 
 The head approached my bed,, laid its hands roughly on 
 my breast, and shook me violently. 
 
 "Stranger! stranger! where's that woman and baby?" 
 it inquired, in a loud voice. 
 
 I yawned and rubbed my half-opened eyes, and ap- 
 peared astonished at the unexpected visitation. 
 
 "Where's that woman and baby you had here?" re- 
 peated the head. 
 
 " What woman and baby are you speaking of? " said I, 
 in utter amazement. 
 
 " Ah ! poor innocent young man ! how suddenly igno- 
 rant you are. Eise from your bed, and follow lis instantly." 
 
 " Oh, excuse me." 
 
DROWNED IN A BUTT OF WINE. 253 
 
 ""We cannot," escaped from Bob's lips. 
 
 I half rose, yet hesitated. The look of the head was 
 grave, yet the clerk and Bob were smiling. 
 
 " Be quick, and don't keep us here all night," remarked 
 Bob. 
 
 I was a little irritated at this, and springing to the floor, 
 demanded the cause of my being disturbed at that hour of 
 the n^ght. 
 
 " No harm wiU befall you, stranger," said the clerk, with 
 a half-suppressed laugh. 
 
 " For hiding that woman and baby," said the head, with 
 a smile struggling at the comer of its mouth. 
 
 "What do you wish of me?" said I, hastily dressing 
 myself. 
 
 " Follow us," commanded the head, in a deep, sepulchral 
 tone ; "you are to meet the fate of the Koyal Beast — drowned 
 in a butt of wine." 
 
 Having finished my toilet, I followed my curious visitors 
 to the bar-room of the hotel. I was called upon in the 
 presence of the landlord, who presided behind, to make a 
 fiill confession of my capital offence. Bob exploded ; the 
 clerk swallowed his tobacco in trying to save his breath, 
 while the landlord closed his eyes in ecstasy. " Give us," 
 said the head, in an authoritative command, " some wine : 
 let it be dark for the criminal, that it may drown his recol- 
 lection of the deed of darkness ; give us also wine, that we 
 may hide the frightful vision that drove the very blood from 
 our cheeks, as well as sleep from our eyes." 
 
 Smuggling a Passejstgef^ 
 
 I was superintending the operation of transferring my 
 luggage from the porter's truck to the car at the Old Colony 
 depot, in Boston, when the baggage-master threw on its 
 
254 SMUaGIiINQ A PASSENGEB. 
 
 end an important box of mine, with tlie usual force for which 
 they are distinguished, when he was startled by a voice cry- 
 ing out, — 
 
 "Don't — don't stand me on my head ! " 
 
 The baggage-master — who, by the way, was a country 
 fellow — stared in round-eyed wonder, while the occupant of 
 the box repeated, with some impatience, — 
 
 " I'm on my head. I tell you, turn me over, quick ! " 
 
 The frightened baggage-master, with considerable trepi- 
 dation, placed the box in a horizontal position, when the 
 voice cried out, — 
 
 " That won't do ; you've put me on my face — Oh! oh!" 
 
 The manipulation of tninks and carpet-bags reversed 
 the position of the troublesome box, when a sort of grunt 
 of satisfaction at once issued from it, and wiping the perspi- 
 ration from his brow, the baggage-master addressed me, — 
 
 "I say, look here, you must pay fare for this young 
 gentleman in the box." 
 
 "Oh, no," I replied, "I have carried him more than 
 one hundred thousand miles upon railroads, and never paid 
 his fare yet." 
 
 "Can't help it," he replied, "you can't smuggle no- 
 body over this 'ere road ; and if you don't fork over, I'll set 
 him. out on the platform, and leave him standin' on his head; 
 you kin depend on that, old fellow." 
 
 The incensed official was about suiting the action to the 
 word, when the conductor of the train approached — ^who 
 had frequently witnessed my performances — and inquired, 
 " What's the trouble. Signer Blitz ? " 
 
 I explained; and when he understood that the only 
 occupant of the box was my automaton boy, " Bobby," that 
 figured in the ventriloquial scenes, he readily allowed him 
 to pass as a " dead-head." 
 
 After the train left, the perplexed baggage-master found 
 
A CHILD IN A CAEPET-BAGf. 255 
 
 ' in one of his vest pockets a silver quarter, which he de- 
 clared must have been placed there by magic. 
 
 fs. Child in a CARPEx-fiAG, 
 
 Since people have got to carrying dogs, bundles, kits of 
 tools, loaded market-baskets, and such like truck inside of 
 omnibuses — at least they did so at the time this occurred — 
 we presume no regular patron would be much surprised to 
 hear of a baby being transported in a carpet-bag, bundled 
 into a Broadway stage. 
 
 The day was rainy, and everybody out of doors in bad 
 humor, of course ; particularly such as, after waiting under 
 a dilapidated awning, or in a dripping doorway for half an 
 hour, rush out into the rain and mud, and run the risk of 
 their lives to get a stage, and be told by the twelve inside, 
 that it's " all full." As a general thing, persons thus bluffed 
 off work their way back to the pavement the best way they 
 can, and wait for another chance ; but there are some who 
 will not stand it, and force their way iuto the vehicle, no 
 matter how many object. 
 
 One of these won't-be-refused persons paid dearly for 
 his boorishness, as the story will show. A stage, filled with 
 its compelment of twelve, was hailed by a big man, in a 
 wet, shaggy coat, and carrying a large carpet-bag. The 
 driver stopped, of course — ^who ever heard of "coachee" 
 fancying his stage fiill ? 
 
 " All full ! Go on, driver. There's no room here, sir," 
 and a dozen other exclamations came from the insiders, but 
 the driver sat still on his box, and the dripping stranger 
 pulled away at the door, which a man was holding together 
 by the strap. The outsider was too strong for the insider, 
 however, and, puUing the door open, jammed in, and passed 
 roughly along, over boots and gaiters, to the front of the 
 
256 TRAVELLING XJKDER DIFFICULTIES. 
 
 stage. Here he deposited his carpet-bag upon the feet of a 
 lady passenger, and crowded about one third of his huge 
 persoii upon the bit of spare space on the opposite seat, and 
 &ced the audience. 
 
 " A pretty idee, to keep a man standing out in the rain 
 and mud, wasn't it ? " exclaimed the angry intruder. 
 
 The ladies looked at each other and smiled, while the 
 men laughed outright. 
 
 " Maybe I've been amongst civilized people some time 
 in my life," said the now fairly riled stranger, " even if they 
 didn't have painted stages and painted people in 'em." 
 
 This drew a deprecating glance from the ladies, while 
 the gentlemen looked as if they wouldn't mind pitching the 
 fellow out. 
 
 " A-h ! a-h ! a-h ! " came from the carpet-bag. 
 
 " Halloa ! what's that ? " asked a short, fat man, with 
 big hair and a thin voice. 
 
 " A baby in a carpet-bag," shouted another. 
 
 " A-h ! a-h ! a-h ! a-h ! ar-h ! " — ^from the carpet-bag. 
 
 " Take it out ! " cried the man with the thin voice. 
 
 " There ain't any child in my bag," roared the shaggy 
 coat. " Them's my clothes, and nothing else." 
 
 "A-h! a-h!" 
 
 " The deuce there ain't ! " — ^from the fat man. " Turn 
 him out with his baby ! Turn him out ! " 
 
 "Let 'em try it!" j-oared the shaggy man. "Who's 
 a-goin' to do it ? " 
 
 "A-h! a-h! a-h!" 
 
 " Gentlemen, we cannot stand this any longer ! Go out 
 with your baby, you brute 1" said I, assuming immense in- 
 dignation. 
 
 " Stop the stage and let me out 1 " called out one of the 
 ladies. 
 
 "I tell you I ain't got no babe in this bag," growled 
 
GREAT CONFUSION. 257 
 
 the shaggy man. " I'll bet ten dollars on it. The critter 
 is somewhere else, — ^in some of the seats, maybe." 
 
 "A-h! a-h! a-h!" 
 
 Here the alai-m of the ladies began to be intense. Sev- 
 eral insisted on getting out ; one improvised a very good 
 feint at a &int. 
 
 " Sit still. I'll go out and see the driver. This nuis- 
 ance is not to be borne any longer ! " 
 
 The stage was stopped and I got out, and did see the 
 driver long enough, at any rate, to hand him a quarter, and 
 then walked straight into Stuyvesant Institute, giving a 
 quizzical look at the people in the stage. 
 
 "Who is that fellow?" growled the man with the 
 shaggy coat, after I left. "I've a good mind to get out 
 and thrash him. The idee of 7ny having a child in this 
 carpet-bag!" 
 
 "That man?" answered the person addressed. "That 
 is Signer Blitz, the ventriloquist and magician." 
 
 "The devil!" 
 
 " 'No, not quite, but rather a near relation. You can go 
 on, driver." 
 
 The M.YSTIFIED ^akef^ 
 
 In Nantucket I had occasion to visit a bank, on entering 
 which, I inquired of an elderly Quaker gentleman if I could 
 be accommodated with a draft for thi'ee hundred dollars, for 
 which I would give him the specie. He requested George, 
 a tall, gaunt, and serious-looking man, who acted as paying 
 and receiving teller, to count the coin, which he carefiiUy 
 did, placiag it upon a tray, on which there was already a 
 considerable sum. Finding the amount correct, he informed 
 the Quaker, who inquired of me to whose order I wished 
 my draft made payable. 
 
 " Mj own name, sir, — Signor Blitz," I replied. 
 
258 THE MYSTIFIED QUAKER. 
 
 "Art thee the man?" he asked, in great surprise, dart- 
 ing his full, hazel eyes through the comer of his spectacles 
 at the money. " Art thee truly the veritable Blitz ? Can 
 thee deceive me as thee do others?" 
 
 " Oh ! Yes, sir, -with pleasure." 
 
 Whereupon I performed some feats that appeared so 
 mysterious to him and his assistant, that the latter moved 
 the tray, with its contents, to a shelf in a distant part of 
 the bank. The Quaker became so absorbed and interested 
 that he urged me to repeat my tricks, saying, " I think I can 
 detect thee next time;" but I baffled him so completely 
 that he turned round, calling on George to take away the 
 silver, pointing his finger at the tray. The latter lost no 
 time in doing as he was directed, and immediately deposited 
 it in the immense iron safe, which he locked, and planted 
 himself with his back against the wall, holding the key in 
 his two hands behind him, with a timorous and watchful 
 countenance. 
 
 "Do you think, sir" — ^addressing myself to the Quaker 
 — ^"the money is secure because he has locked it up and 
 holds the key?" 
 
 "Can thee take it out now, fiiend?" he asked, with 
 anxiety. 
 
 " Yes, all the money I paid you, and as much as I wish 
 besides, which I will return on your allowing me ten per 
 cent, of the sum." 
 
 " No, no, I beg thee will not do it ! I am confident 
 thee can do anything, after what I have seen thee perform." 
 
 There were many citizens in the bank at the time, who 
 deeply enjoyed the earnest manner of the Quaker and his 
 assistant. 
 
CHAPTEE XXIV. 
 
 AMUSING INCIDENTS. 
 
 |trRrN"G my western and southern tour, 
 several other laughable occurrences took 
 place, which might as well be related here, 
 lest they be forgotten. One of them hap- 
 pened in Cincionati, and created quite 
 
 An Excitement in the M.arket. 
 
 About eight o'clock one morning, there was considerable 
 excitement in the Fifth Street Market, on the south side. 
 A middle-aged German woman was earnestly engaged in 
 disposing of a choice collection of fresh vegetables. She 
 was as busy as die well could be, measuring out her prod- 
 uce and receiving money in return. Among other articles, 
 she had a barrel of fine, large beets, which a gentleman 
 seemed disposed to purchase ; and while he was examining 
 them carefully, he was astounded by hearing a pig squeal 
 in the bottom of the barrel. 
 
 " Why, madam," said he, " you have buried a pig be- 
 neath your beets ! " 
 
 " Yat ? " asked the astonished woman. 
 
 "There is a pig in this barrel," replied the would-be 
 purchaser. 
 
 At the same moment, a pig was distinctly heard giving 
 smothered grunts and squeals beneath the beets. This, of 
 
260 TKE PIG IN A BEET BARREL. 
 
 course, attracted the attention of all, and soon the barrel 
 was surrounded by a crowd of inquisitive men and women. 
 
 " Mine gracious ! " exclaimed the female vegetable deal- 
 er, " mine poys have covered von of mine leetle pigs mit 
 der beets ! " and she instantly went to work, removing the 
 vegetables with speed. The nearer she came to the bottom 
 of the barrel, the more distinctly was the pig heard. Faster 
 and faster were the beets tumbled upon the sidewdlk, until 
 at length the bottom was reached, and no pig was there ! 
 
 "That's strange," said the purchaser. "I positively 
 heard the pig squeal." 
 
 " So did I," responded more than a dozen voices. 
 
 The woman was bewildered. She examined the barrel 
 and the beets, yet could not account for the phenomenon. 
 The crowd grew larger ; the circumstance was related over 
 and over again, but no one could account for it. 
 
 But a few moments after, incidents stranger stiU oc- 
 curred in another part of the market ; for the same gentle- 
 man who wished to purchase the beets approached a butch- 
 er's stall, where a lad was in attendance as salesman. 
 
 " What do you call this ? " said he, catching hold of a 
 pickled hog's head. 
 
 " That's a hog's head," responded the boy, as he whetted 
 his knife. " Do you want to buy it ? " 
 
 " How long since it was killed ? " asked the purchaser. 
 
 " About four weeks," answered the boy. 
 
 " What a lie ! You only killed me yesterday," came 
 from the hog's head, in a grunting sort of tone. 
 
 The lad was so startled, he dropped his knife. 
 
 "Why, the hog ain't dead yet ! " said the purchaser. 
 
 " That's a fact, old fellow," sang out the head. 
 
 The stupefied boy looked at the man, and then at the 
 head. The butchers gathered around, and the head, to the 
 amazement of all, gave a series of very natural grunts. At 
 
THE VEGETABLE TRICK. 261 
 
 last the countenance of the butcher-boy suddenly bright- 
 ened, and, with a broad grin, he said, — 
 
 " What great fools we are ! I knows you, sir, — ^you're 
 Signor Blitz, — ^the man who did all them funny things." 
 
 He was right. I acknowledged my name, on hearing 
 which the butchers enjoyed a hearty laugh, and no one was 
 better pleased than the boy, who laughed boisterously. 
 
 " Ha ! ha ! " I said to him, " you're a singular boy, to 
 come to market without your breakfast, and carry your veg- 
 etables -in your bosom ! " 
 
 " What's that ? " he pertly inquired. 
 
 " Carry your vegetables in your bosom. Ah! I knew 
 you were a remarkable boy." 
 
 At the same moment, I drew an immense carrot from 
 beneath his white frock. Another shout of laughter fol- 
 lowed, in which all joined. 
 
 " Don't laugh so," said I to his master, " for yon are as 
 bad as your boy. See here ! " I exclaimed, as I pulled a 
 huge beet from under his jacket, amid a perfect roar. 
 
 Advising the butchers to look out for their meat, I left 
 the market in the best; humor. 
 
 Another^ Market Scene. 
 
 In going through Sixth Street Market one morning, I 
 observed a middle-aged Dutchman leaning against a lamp- 
 post, with a basket of clean-looking eggs before him. He 
 seemed anxious to sell out, and constantly kept up the 
 
 cry,— 
 
 "Bure eggs, shentleman and vomans. Sheap, sheap, 
 sheap ! " 
 
 "How do you sell your eggs?" I inquired. 
 
 " Fourteen cent a tozen." 
 
 " Fourteen cents, eh ? Well, now, that is not dear, if 
 they are all good." 
 
262 CBICKEN IN TBE EGG. 
 
 " Goot ! " remarked the Dutchman, rather indignantly. 
 " I sells noting but fresh, goot eggs. Der isn't a pad egg 
 in all dem vat's in de basket." 
 
 " Not a bad egg ? " said I. " Now, my good sir, if I 
 was convinced of that, I would instantly purchase the en- 
 tire lot at your own price. Good eggs are what I want, 
 and I wUl not stop at a cent or two a dozen." 
 
 " Shoost look at that, mine Men," said the egg dealer, 
 as, with a sort of pride, he picked up one of the eggs, and, 
 shading it with his hand, held it between his eyes and the 
 sun ; " clear as vasser mit a well-bucket, eh ? " 
 
 I took the egg, and, holding it ia the same position, de- 
 clared it was not fresh. 
 
 The Dutchman examined it again, and then reiterated 
 his former assertion, when, to settle the dispute, it was 
 agreed to break the egg. I broke open one end of the 
 shell with my knife, when lo ! a feathered head came peep- 
 ing through the aperture. The Dutchman started back 
 with affiight, while much merriment arose from the mixed 
 crowd which had gathered around. 
 
 "I thought that chap's eggs wasn't good," muttered 
 one. 
 
 "Arrah! an' it's chickens he's selling, and not eggs," 
 chimed in an Irishman, with a smile. 
 
 " La, me, I was just goin' to buy some of them," ex- 
 claimed an old lady, as she put on her specs and looked at 
 the bird. 
 
 "And the darling thing is alive," said a young lady, 
 as I caught the unhatched chicken and drew it carefully 
 out. 
 
 The Dutchman was too much struck with wonderment 
 to heed the numerous jeers which came from the crowd, and 
 with his hands crammed in his breeches pockets, and his 
 eyes fixed on me, he seemed transfixed as a statue. 
 
TSE DUTCHMAN AND HIS EGGS. 263 
 
 " Now, my Mend, you Bee you cannot deceive me with 
 your eggs. If they were really as you represented them^ I 
 would have taken the lot, but as it is, I can only have the 
 one I broke open. The chicken is worth something — ^what 
 do you charge me?" 
 
 "Two cent," replied the Dutchman, with a heavy 
 sigh. 
 
 " Cheap. I wiU pay you," running my hand into my 
 pocket. " But stop — ^may be I can get the money out of 
 another egg." 
 
 Picking a sound one out of the basket, I broke it open, 
 and to the great amusement of the now very large crowd 
 aroimd me, and to the stupefaction of the owner of the 
 eggs, I pulled out from it a ten^ioUar bill. 
 
 " Ah ! " said I, " that's better than chicken. I will try 
 another." 
 
 I reached down, and was about to select a third egg, 
 when the Dutchman seized his basket, and covering it with 
 his body, shouted, — 
 
 " Go way mit you ! you spile aU my good eggs mit your 
 tarn fool tings ! " 
 
 Laughingly, I tossed him a half-dime to pay for the two 
 eggs I had used, and pushing my way through the crowd, 
 made oflF. The eyes of all followed me, for more than one 
 thought I had some connection with the evil spirit ; but, 
 learning who I was. Mynheer said I might come again, if I 
 would only put ten-dollar bills, instead of unhatched chick- 
 ens, into his eggs. 
 
 A Conscientious Doctof^ 
 
 The difficulty I labored under in New Orleans was ia 
 not being able to procure a hall, for at that period minstrels, 
 lectures, concerts, and other evening entertainments were 
 not so plentifttl as they are now, and owners of property were 
 
264 A DEEP INQUIJRT. 
 
 cautious about changing the architectural arrangement of 
 their buildings for such purposes. It happened, however, 
 that Dr. Plough, an eminent dentist, had converted the 
 third story of a large building into a museum, with a stage 
 or platform erected at the extreme end for scientific lectur- 
 ing purposes. I called upon him in relation to the room." 
 Now, the doctor was an earnest Christian gentleman — one 
 of that class of men very strict and sometimes over-zealous 
 in the cause of religion. He was thunderstruck when I 
 gave him an insight into the nature of my performances. 
 
 " No, sir ! " he exclaimed, " I will not let my room for 
 any such purpose. It would be blasphemy ; I wiU not aid 
 the d — ^1 in his works." 
 
 His decision placed me in a dilemma, from which I knew 
 not how to extricate myself; but remembering there was in 
 the city a gentleman engaged in mercantile pursuits, who 
 had frequently attended my entertainments at the North, I 
 at once referred the doctor to him, in regard to the moral 
 character of my exhibitions. The doctor consented to see 
 him, and the interview between them was reaUy amusing. 
 I give it in form : 
 
 Dr. Plough (addressing the merchant) : " A certain 
 Signer Blitz is anxious to rent my room for demonstrations 
 in magic. I call upon you, who, I am told, witnessed his 
 performances in New York, to inquire whether they are of 
 such a description as to justify me, a member of a Christian 
 Church, to grant his request, as magic, you know, sir, was 
 one of the vices of the people of the city of Ephesus — a 
 city it took St. Paul three years to save from destruction." 
 
 " I consider that the magic spoken of in Scripture was 
 very different from that practised by the Signor. The 
 study of magic in that age of the world was resorted to for 
 evil purposes, and to gratify the licentious habits of its in- 
 habitants. The Signor's magic, on the contrary, is merely 
 
A.NCIENT MAGICIANS. 265 
 
 ■leight of hand, aided by mechanical genius, and peculiar 
 conversations of art and science." 
 
 " I am informed he can throw his voice into a horse or a 
 figure, and even make animals speak. Is not this sinful ? " 
 
 " No, sir ! some say that it is a peculiar gift, but in my 
 opinion it is simply imitation; and this, doctor, is the most 
 interesting part of the Signor's exhibitions. It is termed 
 ventriloquism — ^meaning, literally, speaking from the stom- 
 ach — a word derived from the Latin venter, the stomach, 
 and loquor, to speak. This, doctor, is purely legitimate, 
 and closely allied to philosophy and science." 
 
 "Yes, I perceive — I see; but his tricks of legerde- 
 main ? " 
 
 " Simply mechanical. He is a follower of those learned 
 men, whose genius in mechanics. and art flashed over the 
 earth, and actually went out in the dark ages of the world, 
 but now they are revived in the nineteenth century, and 
 Signor Blitz is one of the students in the art." 
 
 " Can you name some of those disciples ? " 
 
 "Certainly: Cornelius Agrippa, Paracelsus, Cagliostro, 
 Michael Scott, Dr. Faustus, Bacon, Dr. Dee, and many 
 others." 
 
 " You have raised my curiosity, and I should like very 
 much to be present at his representations." 
 
 " Let him have your room, and take my word for it, the 
 clergy wiU be the first to witness him." 
 
 " He shall have it, sir. Can I use your name to Parson 
 Clapp as an authority for the character of the Signor and his 
 mysteries ? " 
 
 " Most certainly." 
 
 I was thus successftil in getting the room, and to 
 this day enjoy a pleasant acquaintance with the doctor, 
 who, I will add, attended my exhibitions, and seemed much 
 pleased with them. 
 12 
 
266 A DISCOMFITED WIDOW. 
 
 In St. Louis I was accustomed to patronise a cigar store, 
 the proprietress of whicli was a sharp business woman, who 
 attended to the sales in person, I was invariably disap- 
 pointed in obtaining the article represented; and, as the 
 imposition (for such I considered it to be) continued, not- 
 withstanding my complaints, I came to the conclusion that, 
 as I possessed the power to detect and punish, I would em- 
 brace the opportunity, more for the pubUe good than -my 
 own advantage. Entering the estabhshment after closing 
 my entertainment, I inq[uired if she had any particular 
 brand of cigars. 
 
 " Oh, yes, sir," she replied, briskly opening the show- 
 case, and. pointing her finger, "here they are, imported 
 Havanas." 
 
 At this moment a voice was heard to issue from a brick 
 flue, — 
 
 " Oh, widow Jones, what a fib ! " 
 
 Hastily turning her head in the direction of the sound, 
 she demanded who dared impeach her word, and by what 
 means he became secreted in the chimney. 
 
 "Why, you know, I'm Ben, and those cigars were 
 made in Connecticut. Why not tell the truth ? " 
 
 " You are a scamp, or some thief," replied the widow. 
 " How did you get in there ? " 
 
 " Why, widow, that's a good joke, pretending to be so 
 innocent ; I'm not the first man you have concealed here. 
 How about Sam Baker and Old 'Perkins ? " 
 
 This excited the widow's wrath beyond measure, and 
 she declared she would send for the poUce and have the 
 wretch arrested. 
 
 " Before executing your threat, madam, what about the 
 cigars?" I asked. 
 
 " About fiileen cents each," she replied. 
 
 " I'll take four." 
 
JSOVnS WITS THB INSANE. 267 
 
 Here the voice in the chimney cried, — 
 
 "Signer! Signer! take my pocket-book out of the 
 snnff-jar and pay for the cigars, and keep it until I call for 
 it." 
 
 The widow lifted the lid, and to her horrible surprise 
 removed from amidst the snuff a handsome porte-monnaie, 
 and, handing it to me, I paid her the amount and left the 
 store, while she hurriedly tied on her bonnet to proceed to 
 the Mayor's oflBce, with a countenance black and vengeful. 
 
 Hours with the Insane. 
 
 It is a Christian and generous feeling to turn from the 
 dazzle and bustle of daily life to seek the unfortunate objects 
 removed from the world's mirror; and where is there a 
 better or rarer opportunity for cultivating it, than in a 
 visit to an asylum for the insane, to behold poor humanity 
 in its saddest ^arb — a household of wrecked minds, of all 
 ' ages and sexes ? From some, occasionally a gleam of wit 
 and rational thought wiU emanate, while in others a com- 
 plete darkness of mind prevails. Each siifferer has his own 
 peculiar phase to dream and dwell upon, which is a source 
 of pleasure to his diseased imagination ; yet these afflicted 
 patients are not without that strong anchor — Hope ; it is to 
 them as the bright sun to the earth, and flatters the hearts 
 of families and frieiids. The gentle and benevolent are 
 devoted to the inmates, and the surroundiugs of these insti- 
 tutions are arranged for their pleasure, benefit, and im- 
 provement. 
 
 In my professional visits I never failed to attract their 
 attention and amuse their feelings, and if they had not the 
 sharp and observing traits of people free from the infirmi- 
 ties they experience, there was invariably a quiet cunning, 
 a philosophical emotion, which revealed an expression of 
 their comprehension and enjoyment — a temporary freedom 
 
268 A TOUCSING APPEAL. 
 
 from their mental ailments, was indicated by their gloomy 
 faces becoming radiant with smiles and mirth. Possessing 
 the faculty of rendering the unfortunate happy, I improved 
 it on every occasion, and my own heart was delighted in 
 seeing how they could appreciate the most dexterous of my 
 feats, and ofttimes their critical and witty remarks were both 
 sensible and amusing. 
 
 I remember while performing the egg-bag feat, at "West 
 Philadelphia, one of the audience — an elderly man, confined 
 for his religious views — rose and said, in a loud tone, — 
 
 " You are the very man wanted here, sir ! We are aU 
 fond of eggs, but seldom have them." 
 
 This matter-of-fact view of my abilities created, as one 
 may suppose, a general laugh, in which the steward, who 
 was present, joined, promising to provide a better supply 
 of them thereafter. 
 
 On another occasion, a female patient, whose maniacal 
 laugh interrupted my entertainment, when requested by the 
 doctor not to laugh so loudly, replied, — 
 
 " I cannot cry when nature makes me smile ; I wish you 
 were as funny a man, doctor, then we should always be 
 merry and happy." 
 
 I once accompanied a visiting committee on their tour 
 of inspection, and upon leaving one of the wards, a bright, 
 healthy-looking woman nervously pulled my coat and beck- 
 oned me toward her. On approaching, she begged me to 
 take her to her husband and children. I replied that I 
 regretted I had not the power to do so. 
 
 " Oh ! yes, you have ; you can take me away and no one 
 • will ever know it. Ton can spirit me out of this place," 
 she continued. " I believe you can do anything, after what 
 I have seen you do to-day." 
 
 To soothe her, I told her the doctor would no doubt take 
 her home to those she loved. 
 
A.N INTERESTING LETTER. 269 
 
 " The doctor ! " slie uttered, with emphasis, and a face 
 of scorn, drawing herself up in a dignified manner. " The 
 doctor ! I would not beheve him on his oath; he has prom- 
 ised to do so the last three years. He don't keep his word. 
 Signer. Oh ! it is cruel of you not to take me away when 
 you can do it. I want to be with my husband and children 
 so badly ! " 
 
 I left the poor, afflicted soul, and followed the party, but 
 not without a flow of tears, for her request and urgent ap- 
 peal were very touching. 
 
 One day, on leaving an asylum, I shook hands with sev- 
 eral, one of whom said, — 
 
 "Are you going, Signer?" 
 
 " Yes ; there is no further necessity for my presence." 
 
 "I wish there was," remarked another, "for we would 
 like to have you here all the time." 
 
 "Under what circumstances?" I smilingly inquired. 
 
 " As a crazy man," they all cried out ; " for then we 
 would find out your tricks." 
 
 This I thought was not bad, although severe upon me. 
 
 The canary birds were always an unfailing source of 
 pleasure to the patients, who appeared to realize the won- 
 der of their perforraance, the sagacity they displayed, and 
 the patience exercised. 
 
 The day succeeding an exhibition I gave at the Worces- 
 ter Asylum, Massachusetts, I received the following letter, 
 written in a neat and beautiftil style : 
 
 " WoEOESTEB Asylum, Mass., 
 
 "October, 1860. 
 " Deak Signok BLnz : The lady patients of this estab- 
 lishment owe you a debt of gratitude for the charming en- 
 tertainment you gave them yesterday. The sweet little 
 . birds were so pretty and astonishing, that we wish we had 
 
2^0 LOVM OF LIBERTY BT TBE INSANE. 
 
 them as companions ; they would occupy our time while 
 passing the tedious hours of our confinement.- We feel 
 assured you love the dear little creatures, and are good 
 to them. Tour visiting' us in our solitude proves you have 
 a good heart. Pray come again soon. 
 
 "YoTTK Ladt Fedends." 
 
 I recollect being introduced to a gentlemanly person 
 from the South, whose father had been, a few years previ- 
 ously, governor of the State in which he resided. He was 
 very melancholy, and much given to despondency. He re- 
 membered my name and profession, and remarked that I 
 called to see him at a most desirable time, for he was a pris- 
 oner against his wUl, and th^ I was the one to give him his 
 liberty. 
 
 " By what means ?" I inquired. 
 
 " Why, your magic art," he replied. 
 
 I shook my head seriously. 
 
 "Do you refuse?" he sadly questioned. 
 
 "Ifo; but I am not capable. I should suppose you 
 would be happy and contented here, away from the cares 
 of the world, surrounded as you are with aU these lovely 
 flowers, brought to you by kind friends." 
 
 " What are ^U the beauties of nature,".' he remarked, 
 " without liberty ? Look at these bars and bolts ; is this a 
 free country?" 
 
 "Tour confinement wiU doubtless prove beneficial, and 
 you will return to yom* home, reconstructed in health and 
 strength." 
 
 He looked upward, and drew a long sigh, softly exclaim- 
 
 "I hope so." 
 
 Here we separated. 
 
 On another occasion I was invited into the ladies' par- 
 
^iV I2fTJ!SJSSTnfa CASE. 211 
 
 lor, for tlie pxirpose of hearing a young lady inmate of the 
 asylum sing, accompanying herself upon the harp. She 
 was very prepossessing in her appearance, with a counte- 
 nance chaste and intelligent. Her phant fingers gracefully 
 ran over the many strings of the instrument with extraor- 
 dinary rapidity, producing the sweetest strains, combined 
 with a voice rich and melodious ; when suddenly, during 
 the execution of an air from the opera of Norma, she fran- 
 tically threw the harp from her, and relapsed into a wild 
 distraction of mind. It was the most distressing scene I 
 witnessed in all my intercourse with these people ; but it 
 is gratifying to relate that the young lady subsequently 
 fully recovered, and is now an ornament to society. 
 
CHAPTER XXV. 
 
 DAME rOETUNE. 
 
 ETEE returning from Canada, I remained 
 a short time in New York City before my 
 departure for the West Indies. Looking 
 back, thirty-five years ago, when I first 
 landed at the Battery, and contrasting 
 New York as it then was with its pres- 
 ent appearance, I am filled with sur- 
 prise and astonishment at the great changes that have been 
 made. It is truly wonderful! There was then but one 
 man in New York reputed to be worth over a million of 
 dollars, and that was John Jacob Astor, who previously, 
 when he was a young man, eighteen years of age, peddled 
 cookies, cakes, and tea rusk, which he carried aroxmd in a 
 basket. Then a very few wealthy men resided above Canal 
 street, but most of them below Chambers street. 
 
 Eemando Wood, about this time, resided at 37 White 
 street, and was a leader at the Tabernacle Church, in Broad- 
 way, and one of its deacons. Arthur Tappan & Co. were 
 doing the largest silk business in the city, their store being 
 at No. 122 Pearl street. James Gordon Bennett, about this 
 time, from a small dilapidated basement in Ann street, near 
 where his marble building now stands, issued the first num- 
 ber of the Herald, using a board on two barrels for his edi- 
 torial desk ; and having but little money, he did all the edi- 
 
TBIRTY-FIVE YEARS AGO. 2^3 
 
 torial work himself. It was a small, inferior sheet, on poor 
 paper, but has proved an immense success. Only six years 
 previous to this, Horace Greeley, with $10 in his pocket, 
 and all his worldly goods tied up in a cotton handkerchief, 
 was wandering up and down the streets, looking for work to 
 keep himself from starvation. He set type, and wrote, and 
 labored on, poor, but not despondent, till, in 1841, he issued 
 the first number of the Tribune, which, like the Herald, 
 has grown famous, and proved a wonderful success. 
 
 At the time spoken of, the Battery — the great prome- 
 nade — ^was in all its glory, for here were congregated the 
 aristocracy of the city, in aU their wealth and magnificence. 
 And Broadway, too, how changed ! What architectural pal- 
 aces have been constructed ; what- immense wealth has been 
 expended in erecting stately and magnificent structures. 
 At the time spoken of the old jail stood at the east of the 
 City Hall, on the very ground now occupied by the Hall of 
 Eecords. It was a plain brick building, and had on the top 
 a cupola and bell, and in this cupola the poor debtors used 
 to sit for hours sunning themselves — ^imprisonment for debt 
 being not then abolished. 
 
 When I first came to New York there were but four daily 
 papers, the Gom/mercial Advertiser, Evening Post, Jo^i/rnal 
 of Com/merce, and the Sufi, which was then sold for a 
 penny ; but what an immense increase ! The dailies are 
 very numerous, and the weekhes^devoted to the various 
 interests and kinds of business — are said to number at least 
 one hundred and fifty ! In the little triangle bounded by 
 Park How, Nassau and Beekman streets, at that time stood 
 the old brick church wherein Dr. Spring officiated, which 
 fronted on Beekman street, and extended back to the place 
 where the Times buildiag now stands ; but it has passed away, 
 with all its sacred associations, and where its entrance once 
 was, the editorial and publishing rooms of the World now are. 
 12* 
 
214: POVJBRTT AND RICBES. 
 
 Fronting the Times building is Printing-house Square, 
 and within a stone's throw are published and printed the 
 Tribwne, Times, Svm,, World, Democrat, Da/y-Booh, Rural 
 New Yorher, Christian Union, and other papers, making 
 the name of the locality a very appropriate one. 
 
 Dame Fortune seems also to have been a necromancer, 
 for the many changes in the city have been effected as if by 
 magic. The old police — ^leather-heads, as they were called 
 —with their pea-jackets and firemen's caps, have disap^ 
 peared, and gentlemen in blue, with gilt buttons, trimmings, 
 and white gloves, drilling and marching with all the regu- 
 larity and precision of veteran soldiers, have taken their 
 place. The old fire companies and fii-e-engines have be- 
 come things of the past, while steam-engines and paid men 
 have been substituted; and these may soon disappear, for 
 inflammable, wooden buildings are being transformed into 
 brick, and brick into iron, granite, and marble, so durable 
 and perfect as to be not only fircrproof, but proof against 
 burglars. 
 
 "What changes, also, in iudividual affairs ! Forty years 
 ago If at Prime, the banker, was considered the richest man 
 in ITew York, and yet he was not worth a million. John 
 Jacob Astor, at eighteen years of age, a poor boy, peddled 
 cakes as before stated ; and although he inherited nothing, he 
 died leaving an immense fortune. A. T. Stewart came to 
 this country very poor, and taught school for his support, 
 but he is now represented as worth $50,000,000 ! Corne- 
 lius Yanderbilt was the son of a Long Island farmer, in 
 moderate circumstances, and received but a limited educa- 
 tion, but being energetic and saving, he succeeded in be- 
 coming the owner of a small sloop or periauger, and at 
 twenty-three years of age had saved $10,000 ; he is now 
 considered worth about $25,000,000. Daniel Drew was bom 
 on a small farm also, and received but a limited education. He 
 
TSE FUTURE . OF NEW TOBK. 2Y5 
 
 began business in a small way by driving cattle to market and 
 selling them, and for fifteen years was a cattle drover ; then 
 he became speculator, broker, and banker, and is now worth 
 his millions. David Groesbeck was apprenticed to a shoe- 
 maker, and had a hard struggle with fortune, but is now 
 .worth $10,000,000. Jay Cooke, without the knowledge or 
 consent of his parents, got a situation as clerk to enable him 
 to support himself, has. been very successful, and probably 
 is worth $10,000,000. Mr. Hatch, of the firm of Fisk & 
 Hatch, was, ten or twelve years since, the cashier of the 
 Jersey City Bank, in New Jersey, at a salary of $1,200 
 per annum, and with this salary he supported his wife and 
 several small children. He lived on the second fioor, over 
 the bank, which was in a smaU brick building. Eeceiving 
 governmental favors during the war, he can now be looked 
 upon as one of the millionaires of the city. James Gordon 
 Bennett, in 1835, had but a few hundred dollars, but his 
 fortune is now estimated at $7,000,000; but why go on 
 with this digression, for thousands could be named whom 
 Dame Fortune has equally blessed. Let the city of New 
 York continue to increase in population, wealth, improve- 
 ments, and architectural splendor, for thirty-five years to 
 come, as she has for thirty-five years past, and she will have 
 outstripped even London, and stand as the Empire City of the 
 world, while her Broadway, in the language of another, will 
 " glitter in continuous marble, from the Battery to Central 
 Park." 
 
 Having procured a passage for Barbadoes and the West 
 India Islands, I finally set sail in a bark, the master of 
 which was a Virginian by birth, an intelligent young man, 
 but opinionated, arbitrary, self-conceited, and arrogant. The 
 passengers, five in number, were constantly irritated and 
 provoked by his tone of conversation, which frequently was 
 personal and offensive. He persisted that he was familiar 
 
276 TSE VICIOUS captain: 
 
 with all professions and pursuits, knew their virtues a&d 
 failings, declared he could detect error from truth without 
 failure, allowed no merit to genius or character. In bis 
 own judgment the world was one commonalty of bad peo- 
 ple, and himself the personification of wisdom and perfec- 
 tion. He assailed the most distinguished men with an un- 
 generous spirit, and his manner toward humanity, in every 
 phase, was contemptuous and unpardonable. He defied 
 man to deceive him, or act upon his imagination. 
 
 Of course we all considered him the most egotistic of 
 men we had ever met, but these peculiar traits of character 
 were only displayed on special occasions. Usually his 
 demeanor was bland and courteous, but whenever excited, 
 or engaged in argument, his disposition was betrayed. One 
 afternoon, while conversing with him upon deck, the sails 
 trembled for a moment, indicating the vessel slightly off the 
 wind. With the alertness of an antelope, and the strength 
 of a lion, he ran and seized the man at the wheel, throwing 
 him down upon the deck, and then, with his knee on his 
 chest, and hand grasping his throat, expressed the most 
 horrid imprecations — blaspheming the name of the good 
 and gracious God in language so wicked that I was para- 
 lyzed with terror. The abuse and violence he gave the poor 
 man grieved my feelings sadly. The submissiveness of the 
 sailor was extraordinary, for not a murmur or word of com- 
 plaint escaped his lips as he resumed his duty at the wheel. 
 
 These exhibitions of cruelty by captains a^d officers of 
 vessels are constant and numerous, and in general result 
 more from a violent temper and love of domineering than 
 necessity. Very few know or can imagine the outrages and 
 injuries inflicted on sailors. No class of people are subject 
 to such degradation and unnatural treatment, and when 
 they appeal to courts for redress, judgment is in almost 
 every instance decided in favor of the transgressor; so there 
 
MEN OVERSOAltD. 217 
 
 is but little hope for the poor sailor of obtaining justice 
 from the law. Yet we need not live without anticipation 
 of a change, for in these days of civilization, when societies 
 are continually being inaugurated for the protection of ani- 
 mals, why should not a hvely interest develop itself in behalf 
 of the mariner 1 
 
 Independent of the incident referred to, our voyage was 
 a pleasant one ; favorable winds and a placid sea accompa- 
 nied us during the passage, which was short. 
 
 For two days previous to our arrival, the captain was anx- 
 ious and unremitting in his endeavors to ascertain his posi- 
 tion, especially as he had no chronometer, and from early 
 to late his eflPorts were directed to avoid the embarrassment 
 attending the passing of the island, or encountering the 
 perils of a tropical shore. The evening previous to reach- 
 ing our destination was a serene and lovely one ; the ocean 
 appeared as a glassy lake, vrith the bright full moon dis- 
 pensing her mantle of light, in its glory of beauty and won- 
 der ; the passengers and men were on deck, in eager antici- 
 pation of hearing the joyous sound of " Land," when sud- 
 denly the prevailing tranquillity was disturbed by loud 
 cries of distress from beneath the forward part of the vessel. 
 
 "Ship ahoy! ship ahoy!" 
 
 " Heave a line ! " shouted the captain, as he sprang 
 toward the unfortunate suiferers. "Where are you?" 
 bending his body over the vessel's side. 
 
 " Here — ^under the bow," a voice replied. 
 
 " Heave over 1 " he commanded, in animated tones. 
 
 " Ay, ay, sir, she is gone ! " 
 
 "It fell short," answered the shipwrecked men, des> 
 pondingly. 
 
 " Haul in smart — ^let go again ! " ordered the captain. 
 
 " Look out — catch ! " hallooed the mate, as his brawny 
 hands threw the coil over. 
 
278 A VENTRILOqUIAL ILLUSION: 
 
 "Missed!" mom-nfiilly retumedr those in the water. 
 " Don't let us drown." 
 
 " Hold on a little ! " exclaimed the captain, as he hastily 
 placed a rope around his body, and a heavy one over his 
 shoulder, prepared to descend to the rescue of those who 
 were crying for help. "Hang on, you are all safe." 
 
 " But we are faint and sinking." 
 
 " I doil't see you," he uttered, in disappointed tones. 
 
 "We are below the keel — the vessel is running us 
 under!" 
 
 " Come abaft, I'll be with you ! " he loudly remarked, 
 as he climbed on deck and hurried to the stem, followed by 
 the passengers and crew, whose countenances betrayed deep 
 and solemn interest. "Whereabouts, men?" he lustily 
 inquired, as he looked over the rail. 
 
 " We are clinging to the rudder ; lower your boat, we 
 are exhausted." 
 
 In a moment the captain and two sailors jumped into 
 the boat, vehemently excited, giving the, order to let go easy. 
 
 "Steady! steady!" he repeated, as the frail messenger 
 approached the water's surface. " Come, now, boys, give 
 us your hands," himself and men looking eagerly over. 
 
 " We haven't any." 
 
 "What!" he muttered, with amazement, "no hands!" 
 
 " ISTo ; nor feet." 
 
 "Is that so? Who are you, spirits of pirates, or ghosts 
 of land monsters ? " 
 
 " Neither," a voice broke forth above ; " it is but a ven- 
 triloquial illusion." 
 
 "Is it possible!" he cried out. "Haul in on deck 
 there ; " which, on reaching, a loud burst of laughter greeted 
 him. 
 
 But this reception was in no way flattering to his boasted 
 claim for shrewdness and judgment ; yet he had the magna- 
 
BETSET DAWSON. 2*79 
 
 nimity to acknowfedge Ms being the dtipe of art, and him- 
 self as vulnerable as other men. It was a satisfaction and 
 a triumph to me, that I had gained my point in proving to 
 him, before those he had so frequently insulted, and whose 
 intelligence he so little estimated, that if not his superiors 
 in knowledge and practical information, they were fuUy 
 capable of judging as correctly as himself. The circum- 
 stance also enabled me to rebuke him, in my own peculiar 
 manner, in return for his barbarous and tyrannical course as 
 a captain. 
 
 Barbadoes. 
 
 Early the next morning land was reported in sight, 
 which was found to be the place we were destined for. We 
 dropped anchor in the roadstead, there being no harbor, and 
 immediately after landing I proceeded to the Clarence Hotel, 
 so named in consequence of His Koyal Highness, the Duke 
 of Clarence, taking up his abode there while on a visit to 
 the place when a midshipman. 
 
 A. Royal Bed. 
 
 The landlady was a corpulent, masculine mulatto woman, 
 known to all travellers as Betsey Dawson, not less renowned 
 for her pecub'arities than her exorbitant charges. When 
 she showed me my room, I was surprised at the magnitude 
 of the bed, its dimensions in height, length, and breadth 
 exceeding anything I had previously witnessed or heard of. 
 
 " What a bed I " I exclaimed. 
 
 " It is a good one," said Eetsey. 
 
 "ISTo doubt of that," I replied. 
 
 "l^one equal to it on any of the islands, sir." 
 
 "But its size!" 
 
 " Why, is it not large enough ? " 
 
280 A DANGEROUS ATTEMPT. 
 
 "Tes," I answered, laughing; "there is roofii for a 
 regiment." 
 
 " "Well, sir, that is a royal bed." 
 
 " Yes, it loots royal." 
 
 " The King of England has occupied it." 
 
 " Ah, indeed I Which ting ? " 
 
 "William the Fourth." 
 
 "Is that possible?" 
 
 " Yes, indeed." 
 
 "Well, how am I to reach the top ?" — ^it being not less 
 than nine feet from the floor. 
 
 "Good gracious!" she remarked, directing her eyes 
 toward a recess in the comer of the room, " you have not 
 examined the furniture. Don't you see the steps? — the 
 precise ones His Majesty made use of." 
 
 Turning to the spot, I beheld the indispensable article. 
 Eetiring to, and arising from, this bed, was an adventurous 
 undertaking ! The like history of a bed was never before 
 known to me. 
 
 The dense population, confined in so small a space, com- 
 pelled all to be occupied. There was no idleness, nor a rod 
 of unimproved land on the island. A model community, a 
 busy little world, of more than one hundred thousand 
 people. 
 
 The surface of the country was greatly varied, and oc- 
 casionally very beautifiil. 
 
 Of the 106,470 acres which it contains, 100,000 are 
 under cultivation, and, with a rich and attentively tiUed 
 soil, produces, in bulk and valuation, an enormous supply. 
 The products are sugar, aloes, arrow-root, cotton, rum, and 
 molasses. 
 
 The island is girded by numerous coral reefs, of a dan- 
 gerous character. Bituminous coal, potter's clay, ochre, 
 and petroleum are found therein. The woods and forests 
 
BARBADOES AND GEORGE III. 281 
 
 had been nearly all cleared away, so that the land could be 
 occupied for agricultural purposes, much of -which is an- 
 nually planted with sugar-cane, the remainder appropriated 
 • to pasturage and provisions. 
 
 In 1842, 21,545 hogsheads of sugar were produced, and 
 the quantity has increased in ratio with each succeeding 
 year, till the product has reached 60,000, — a notable fact that 
 the colored race, when encouraged and compensated, are 
 neither indolent nor indifferent to their own or their em- 
 ployers' interest. 
 
 The churches have accommodations for 40,000 persons, 
 and schooling is provided for 10,000 children. In addition 
 to this, all the churches and chapels have Sunday schools 
 attached. There are five weekly newspapers, one of which, 
 the Barbadoes Mercv/ry, has been published more than one 
 hundred and twenty years. 
 
 The attachment of the natives to their home ia warm 
 and sincere. No nation can possibly be prouder of their 
 coimtry than the islanders, especially the colored race, who 
 declare themselves to be the true Barbadians. Indeed, this 
 devotion is not confined to the latter, for an eminent law 
 officer of the Crown asserted, at a public dinner given in 
 honor of his return from Europe, that he would prefer be- 
 ing a dog in Barbadoes, to a Duke in England. 
 
 It may, however, be presumed that in his desire to flat- 
 ter his countrymen, the gentleman was far from particular 
 in the delicacy of his comparison, or the graceful selection 
 of his language, saying nothing respecting his-veracity. 
 
 The confidence which has always prevailed in the minds 
 of the inhabitants as to their power and strength, and. the 
 loyalty they entertain toward the English Crown, is proved 
 by the fact that when !N"apoleon contemplated an invasion 
 of England, they invited George the Third to take up his 
 abode with them, promising him protection from his ene-- 
 
282 MY PROFESSIONAL APFEABANCK 
 
 mies ; at the same time the island did not possess a single 
 gmi or fortification for defence ! 
 
 Bridgetown is a plain city, with no palatial residences^ 
 but many of a comfortable character. 
 
 Hospitality abounds so universally that a stranger is the 
 recipient of constant attention, and the citizens, white and 
 black, are noted for their industrial habits, and good order 
 is everywhere preserved. WMle aU other islands, since the 
 emancipation, have diminished in wealth and prosperity, 
 Barbadoes has rapidly advanced. Her agricultural re- 
 sources have increased abundantly ; at the present time ex- 
 porting double the amount of her productions annually 
 that she did any one year during the period of her slavery. 
 This pleasant feature is a powerful rebuke to aU who are 
 illiberal and opposed to the merits and claims of freedom. 
 
 The benevolent institutions of the island are numerous, 
 and the hearts of the residents charitably disposed, contrib- 
 uting a large amount of good in a qidet and unobtrusive 
 manner. 
 
 The political and civil administration of the government 
 was so admirably and faithfully conducted, that I never 
 heard a single murmur or complaint. 
 
 During the winter months the tropics are subject to 
 severe storms and hurricanes, but no island experiences its 
 severity so much in the destruction of life and property as 
 Barbadoes. Its position as the most windward island ex- 
 poses it to the sweeping vengeance of Neptune's ill-humor. 
 In ordinary seasons the atmosphere is pure and clear, but 
 excessively hot during the day. The mornings and even- 
 ings are refreshing, and delightful breezes prevail. 
 
 My professional appearance was a success. The wisest 
 shook their heads with amazement, while those more igno- 
 rant, particularly the colored population, appeared grave 
 and impressed: they could not possibly imderstand the 
 
WARM RECEPTION AT GRANADA. ~ 283 
 
 philosophy of magic to be the emanation of art. Their ed- 
 ucation, associations, and limited intercourse with the world 
 ' gave them no comprehensive ideas, no penetrating spirit or 
 strength of mind, and they looked upon my feats as the off- 
 spring of a gifted and unholy power. 
 
 No portion of the entertainments given excited so much 
 wonder as my ventriloquial exercises. They were uaac- 
 quaiated with any explanatory principle to admit of its ac- 
 quirement, but unhesitatingly proclaimed that no person 
 could represent so many human voices and natural tones 
 without being an accomplice of His Satantic Majesty ! 
 
 Concluding a profitable and satisfactory engagement, I 
 bade adieu to Barbadoes, bearing with me a lasting recollec- 
 tion of the gracious reception I had received from the people. 
 
 Granada. 
 
 From Barbadoes I proceeded to Granada, once a flourish- 
 ing island, but at that time it presented a sad and melan- 
 choly spectacle of dilapidation. 
 
 The produce of sugar and other resources had decKned 
 to a serious extent, and appalrently the ambition and indus- 
 try of the residents accompanied it. The Granadians ex- 
 tended many greetings to me. They were deeply inter- 
 ested, and particularly anxious that my visit should be both 
 pleasant and advantageous. This was fiilly attained, for 
 crowds attended my exhibitions, and -the unquaHfied atten- 
 tion they gave me in private, inspired me to please and 
 entertain them. Nothing could exceed the dehght and 
 laudatory expressions my feats procured for me. The whole 
 community were unquestionably behevers in astrology, and 
 the traditional accounts of the early ages. They considered 
 my powers more than human, and consequently many were 
 the demands made upon me to revive the sick, remove dis- 
 eases, restore property, and banish trouble. 
 
284 a dinner-pabtt disturbed. 
 
 An Uninvited Guest. 
 
 A number of gentlemen invited me to dine with tliem at 
 their hotel. The party was a very pleasant and agreeable 
 one, marked for that affability and geniality desirable in 
 social life. Suddenly, in the midst of anecdote and song, 
 the company was disturbed by a voice from the closet. 
 
 "Who is there?" several gentlemen inquired. 
 
 "Only me." 
 
 "Come out," said one of the guests. 
 
 " I wish I could," the man replied. 
 
 "What do you want?" another asked. 
 
 " Have you any wine ? " 
 
 "Plenty," was the answer, "but none for strangers; 
 you had better go home." 
 
 The unknown one responded, — 
 
 " Fill up the cup, the cheerful bowl. 
 And drink long life to each good soul." 
 
 At the close, two of the party arose and opened the 
 closet, and to their surprise found no one. This crea- 
 ted an interesting discussion. Every variety of opinion 
 was given, and the closet examined and reexamined. A few 
 declared it was an acoustic illusion ; others that a person 
 had secreted himself to annoy them, and disturb their pleas- 
 ures by occupying some unknown retreat. This argument 
 was considered indisputable, from the fact of the voice and 
 conversation being so distinctly heard, and the closet so 
 thoroughly examined. After much exchange of sentiment, 
 it was admitted to be a mystery that none could unravel, 
 and all resumed their seats at the table, when they were 
 immediately attracted by the same voice in the closet beg- 
 ging for wine. 
 
 " It is some discarded spirit from the infernal regions ! " 
 
TBE MYSTERY. EXPLAINED. 285 
 
 declared an elderly gentleman of the party, with a dismal 
 frown. 
 
 "What do you come here for ? " called out one. 
 
 "Wine," answered the invisible visitor, — 
 
 " It makes a man so jolly and free — 
 Give, oh, give a bottle to me ! 
 Fill a bumper, and drown all sorrow. 
 Live to-day, and heed not the morrow." 
 
 All acknowledged that, whoever the rogue was, he had 
 a poetical taste. 
 
 "Wine, I say — bring wine ! " reiterated the intruder. 
 
 In a moment a number proceeded to the closet, and several 
 to the outside of the house, whei-e they stationed them-, 
 selves to prevent an escape, but their ingenuity and expec- 
 tations were again baffled — ^the closet was unoccupied, as 
 before — ^not a shadow of humanity was seen therein. On 
 reassembling, the landlord and his family were summoned 
 and questioned, without eliciting anything to solve the mys- 
 tery. It was evident I had sufficiently confounded and con- 
 fused my entertainers, as they were beginning to show signs 
 of vexation. I therefore explained my wantonness, and 
 confessed myself the guilty party, alone responsible for im- 
 posing upon their credulity; but they were far from im- 
 pressed with the truth. 
 
 " It is ridiculous ! Ha ! ha ! That is amazingly prepos- 
 terous ! Certainly you do not expect us to believe what you 
 have said? Do you consider us crazy?" These were but 
 a few of the various exclamations in reply to my statement. 
 
 " I repeat, gentlemen, that you behold in me the inter- 
 rupter of your festivity, the object of your search, the culprit 
 you were so anxious to secure ; the wine man in the closet 
 is your humble servant, and it needs but the simple experi- 
 ment for you to take your former positions, and I will 
 
286 BELIEVEES IN SOBOEBY. 
 
 amuse you mtli a repetition of the wonders of the human 
 voice, and the great power of ventriloquism, by which you 
 were misled." 
 
 A second invitation was not required. Eager and curi- 
 ous, they once more gathered around the table, and with 
 surprise pictured upon their countenances, listened to my 
 rendering a second edition of the closet scene. A great 
 shouting accompanied the close; hands and feet applauded ;- 
 every tongue congratulated me ; extra bottles of wine were 
 called for, and my health toasted as Blitz and his dovhle, 
 
 St. George. 
 
 The capital of Granada was a peculiarly-constructed 
 place. Nothing fanciful or in any way pertaining to ele- 
 gance in its buildings, public or private. Tet the character 
 of the island, in many of its parts, is not without beauty 
 and picturesque scenery, especially its mountains, a portion 
 of which are wild and interspersed with numerous rivers 
 and brooks, produced from time to time by volcanic erup- 
 tions. There are also several bays and creeks, besides a 
 lake of more than two miles in circumference, situated in 
 the interior. The climate is healthy and salubrious — one 
 of the most agreeable in the tropics. 
 
 My next voyage of a few hours landed me at " 
 
 St. yiNCENT. 
 
 Here I found the people no less kind and liberal than 
 those of the preceding islands. 
 
 My appearance awakened an interest and curiosity that 
 was universal; and increased by the many fanciful stories 
 which reached them in advance of me. I promptly per- 
 ceived that the public mind was incorporated with the im- 
 aginary world and its impracticabilities, for I was impor- 
 
EFFECTS OF SLAVERY. 287 
 
 tuned to accomplish greater marvels than ever were achieved 
 by pagan or Christian. 
 
 Their belief in sorcery and its works was evidently sin- 
 cere; and all important or remarkable events, either in 
 public or private life, were ascribed to the presence of the 
 miagician. 
 
 The reception accorded me was novel in its excessive 
 laudations. The masses were jubilant with my fame, and 
 many hundreds were nightly present, enjoying with amaze- 
 ment the thaumaturgical efforts of the hands, and the fasci- 
 nating mysteries of ventriloquism. 
 
 Kingstown. 
 
 This city did not present a flourishing condition. Dwell- 
 ing-houses and business places revealed decay and neglect ; 
 consequently agricultural returns were gradually declining, 
 while trade and commerce, so dependent on the former, 
 necessarily experienced reverses, with little hope for the 
 future. 
 
 In contrasting the present time with that period, called 
 the " golden era," when slavery existed there, we discover 
 nothing strange or unexpected. The magnificence of the 
 one, compared with the desolation of the other, is but a 
 legitimate consequence. Its significance dates back to the 
 original wrong, — the base of an institution fortified by 
 power and might, whose odiousness subverted every moral 
 principle, permitted by law to annihilate all good, and de- 
 generate the generous impulses of character. Should any 
 one complain of this decline, when they consider that dur- 
 ing the "golden era" men, women, and children were 
 treated like brutes, obtaining no other remuneration than a 
 meagre sustenance and the whip, enduring a life of misery 
 and wretchedness, in order to enrich their profligate and im- 
 grateftil masters, was it reasonable to expect that when 
 
288 WffAT TBEY NEED. 
 
 their happy deliverance from bondage arrived, that these 
 persons, without the least education, or having any idea of 
 industry, economy, or love for God or man, would become 
 at once nsefal and capable citizens, gifted with that ambition 
 and thrift their masters never exemplified ? 
 
 It is to the selfish evils they tolerated, that the inhabi- 
 tants of the West Indies owe their present condition ; to re- 
 cover from which, they must incite their colored brethren, 
 by personal example and word of mouth, to organize schools 
 and crowd them • with pupils, must encourage learning 
 amongst them, and never fail in public to impress upon 
 their minds the value of education and industry. Then 
 wiU their lovely and sunny land be filled with an abun- 
 dance of the earth's good, and all colors and conditions of 
 men made comfortable and contented. Those islands, so 
 naturally beautiful, wiU smile with renewed grace; the 
 rivers, rocks, and streams, those sweet valleys and noble 
 woods, with towering mountains, will appear as never before, 
 • — spots of enchantment. 
 
 St. Vincent is one of the most charming places in the 
 tropics, the soil uncommonly productive, and the scenery 
 majestic and beautiful, — the mountains and groves especially 
 so. Near the summit of one is a volcano, which underwent 
 a terrible eruption in 1812. Its height is nearly 3,000 feet 
 above the level of the sea, its crater three miles in circuT" 
 ference and 600 feet in depth. 
 
CHAPTEK XXVI. 
 
 THE CHRISTIAN SKIPPEB AND HI8 CEEW. 
 
 ^HEN I sailed for Trinidad, it was in a 
 email sloop; and having left at 5, p.m., 
 we arrived there shortly after sunrise the 
 following morning. The captain and two 
 men were negroes, and comprised the en- 
 tire crew. The size, imcleanliness, and 
 miserable accommodations generally, of 
 the sloop, impaired my confidence in her 
 safely crossing the water. This unpleasant apprehension 
 was largely increased by imagining base intentions on the 
 part of these three men toward myself. 
 
 I was the bearer of a package, entrusted to- me by the 
 manager of the West India Bank at Granada, to deliver at 
 the bank in Trinidad. I was notified that the contents 
 amounted to several thousand dollars in current bills, be- 
 sides many notes of large amount, and as I was particularly 
 requested to guard it safely against loss or theft, I was 
 anxious and watchfiil. 
 
 The night was purely tropical, the air sweet and balmy, 
 fragrant with the perfume of flowers wafted by the wind 
 from the shore. The stars were twinkling brightly in 
 the azure canopy, while the gentle swell of a fair sea 
 floated us merrily on our course. My enjoyment of the 
 noble sight was marred by my anxiety, and the attention I 
 gave the skipper and his men, respecting whom I had so 
 13 
 
290 A OBEAT SURFBISE. 
 
 strong a suspicion. Perceiving the three collected together 
 and conversing iii low tones, as I imagined for no good pur- 
 pose, I approached them with some hesitation, and com- 
 menced a fidendly conversation with them, which, to my 
 surprise, they understood and appreciated from the begin- 
 ning. I talked of the deep and its mysteries ; the glories 
 of heaven, and its imperishable gifts ; how the promises of 
 God were fulfilled, and the hopes of all believers realized. 
 
 "Blessed is the name of the Lord," cried out the skip- 
 per. 
 
 " Amen ! " came from the two men. 
 
 "How gratified and thankful I am, captain," said I, 
 looking in his face, "that you acknowledge a kingdom of 
 eternal bliss for man ! " 
 
 " Why, sir," he replied, " when I was a boy, my moth- 
 er used to pray with me, night and morning, to 'Our 
 Father in heaven.' " 
 
 " Is she living ? " I inquired. 
 
 " Yes, sir, — ^in heaven ; she left this earth for that happy 
 land four years since. Her body is buried under a palm- 
 tree on the plantation where she was born and died. I 
 walk out every month to her grave, to take out the weeds 
 and water the flowers ; and before leaving I pray, and sing 
 the hymns she loved." 
 
 " She .must have been a good and pious woman." 
 
 " She was truly so, always singing praises to her Ee- 
 deemer, and I love to do like her, and so does George and 
 Joe," — now addressing his companions, who acknowledged 
 the truth by bowing. "Their mothers were slaves, and 
 had no opportunity of knowing the Saviour like mine, who 
 was a free woma^n ; but I read the Scriptures to them, and 
 prayed with them, until they, too, loved the Lord." 
 
 " Glory ! glory ! " they shouted. 
 
 "Amen!" said the skipper, and continued by remark- 
 
PS^YER AND FMAISE. 291 
 
 ing that " slavery never failed to oppose religion. It was 
 Satan contending witli the Lord; he had combated with 
 Him in Egypt and all comers of the earth ; but the day of 
 deliverance was at hand. Our Eedeemer, the true Lord 
 and Master, came in the armor of Power and Justice, 
 stretched forth His hands, and broke the chains of the en- 
 slaved." 
 
 " Praise Grod for ever and ever ! " cried the seamen, in 
 ecstatic tones. 
 
 " Amen ! " reiterated the skipper, proceeding with his 
 harangue. " Then the fathers, mothers, and children be- 
 held the light of Christ, Christians came a? did the Apos- 
 tles, preaching and explaining the Word, giving hope and 
 -comfort. You see, sir, the advantages my people now 
 have ; all this they were not permitted to know before, for, 
 as I stated, it was considered unwise and dangerous for 
 slaves, with few exceptions, to recognize their Maker. Oh ! 
 my heart is full with song. Let us sing and return thanks. 
 Perhaps you will join?" 
 
 The effect was impressive. A devoted tribute of love 
 and gratitude arose from voices admirably harmonious, 
 whose sweetness was materially increased by the melody of 
 sympathetic minds. In tones that faintly trembled in the 
 gray morning clouds, hymns and songs of praise were sung. 
 My fears were turned to joy, for I found the skipper a man 
 of enlarged intelligence, and possessing the Christian vir- 
 tues, and whose thank-offering I am sure God was pleased 
 to accept, notwithstanding his color and race. 
 
 The mountains of the island soon commenced to be visi- 
 ble, and they were soon followed by the sun's golden rays, 
 stealthily penetrating every cliff and craggy precipice. A 
 strong tide at the entrance of the Grand Bogus delayed our 
 speed a trifle, but we shortly afterward came to anchor 
 close to the landing at Port of Spain. 
 
292 a visit to the bank. 
 
 Trinidad. — Port of Spain. ^ 
 
 For a few moments I reflected upon the agreeable man- 
 ners of the captain ; my good fortune in being a passenger 
 with a man of so many excellent traits of character — a truth 
 that was afterward corroborated by many of the leading 
 merchants of the place, who regretted there were no more 
 people, black or white, of the same spirit. 
 
 I was so anxious to be relieved from all farther responsi- 
 bility attending the money I had in charge, that, notwith- 
 standing it was but five o'clock in the morning, I proceeded 
 immediately to the bank, but found it closed. I ascer- 
 tained, however, that the upper story of, the building 
 was occupied by the manager, as a dwelling. I proceeded 
 to a side entrance, and knocked at the door, which was 
 opened by a negro, who, vigorously rubbing his eyes, and 
 with a mouth extended at extreme angles, inquired, in thick- 
 tongued speech, — 
 
 "Who's thar?" 
 
 " A stranger." 
 
 "What's your business dis soon?" 
 
 "Can I see Mr. Finley?" 
 
 " Tes, sir, he opens the bank at ten o'clock." 
 
 " I would like to see him before that hour." 
 
 " Him asleep, sir." 
 
 "What time does he breakfast?" 
 
 At this moment, a gentleman, awakened by our col- 
 loquy, looked from a window above, and requested me to 
 walk in and be seated imtil he came down. On his ap- 
 pearance he introduced himself as Mr. Finley. I informed 
 him that the occasion of the early visit was owing to my 
 eagerness to deliver to him, in person, a largo amount of 
 money, committed to my care for him. 
 
 He broke the many seals and tape which bound the 
 
TEMPOBASr AMALOAMATION. 293 
 
 wrapper, examined the contents, and pronounced them per- 
 fectly satisfactory, and then cordially invited me to the hos- 
 pitalities of his house, during my residence in the city. 
 
 I returned to the vessel, obtained my baggage, and es- 
 tablished myself at the best hotel on the island. When I 
 entered the breakfast-room, I found some half-dozen black 
 men, and as many white, collected around the table. I 
 paused at the sight, and drew back with a hesitating feeling 
 as to the course to pursue, which, from the smiles depicted 
 on the countenances of the party, assured me was fully un- 
 derstood by them ; but a keen appetite, and a disposition to 
 conform to the customs and usages of the place, induced me 
 to take my seat, which was between two of the colored 
 men, whose politeness was more natural than artificial ; and 
 I cannot but admit that I was favorably impressed with this 
 temporary amalgamation. The dignified tone and refine- 
 ment of the conversation, its versatility, questions discussed, 
 and opinions given in the French, German, and English 
 languages, gave a decided superiority of mind to my col- 
 ored associates, and temporarily abolished the inequality of 
 the races. 
 
 The colored population of Trinidad, numerically, have 
 produced many eminent and solid educationists, with spir- 
 ited purposes, aspiring to all the noble traits of the Saxon 
 character. Every island contains very many of like cul- 
 ture and accomplishments, which procure for them distin- 
 guished positions in civil and political life. These persons, 
 with slight exceptions, were favored with special advantages, 
 having been students at the most celebrated seats of learn- 
 ing in Europe. 
 
 This nobility of intellect was not applied to the ameliora- 
 tion of their own masses. There was no semblance of unity 
 or sympathy toward those whose suffering ignorance needed 
 the advice and guidance of the better informed. No great 
 
294 laNQRANCE OF THE POORER CLASSES. 
 
 effort was made, or wealth contributed, for improving the 
 schools, and giving the necessary instructions for their moral 
 and spiritual welfare. 
 
 The English government, and that of the West Indies, 
 are equally responsible for the manifold evils and general 
 diminution of trade, and of those productions which are 
 the source of wealth and prosperity. Their policy exhibit- 
 ed an abandonment of all concern — a complete sacrifice of 
 that protection which duty, wisdom, and philanthropy ex- 
 pected when slavery was abolished. iPTo suitable laws were 
 passed by the British parliament, or the native legislators, to 
 encourage labor and frugahty, and to elevate those whose 
 minds and souls were sadly benighted. 
 
 How unlike is the melancholy history of these islands 
 to the Christian measures of the American nation, which, 
 with freedom, gave light and truth, and those other auxilia- 
 ries so indispensable and necessary ; as, for instance, the im- 
 mediate establishing of schools for old and yoimg, protect- 
 ing and instructing aU in their rights and privileges; "ap- 
 pointing the fit and proper ones to office, and permitting 
 them to participate in the reconstruction, and unite with 
 their fellow-citizens in the discharge of all their poHtical 
 duties and privileges ; advising every one to emulate their 
 neighbors and friends in industry and thrift, to ignore idle- 
 ness and extravagance, and prove to the observing world, 
 by their conduct and daily life, how justly they deserve 
 immunities. 
 
 My advent was, to a remarkable degree, a fortunate one. 
 The favorable notice and attention I received from aU par- 
 ties, and influential citizens, gave a tone and character to my 
 position as a stranger and possessor of an art involving so 
 much mystery. Shrewd and penetrating minds were in- 
 voked to determine as to the natural merits of' my exhibi- 
 tions in public, and those ascribed to me in private, and as 
 
POST OF SPAIN. 295 
 
 they were unable and feiled to enlighten the inquirers, my 
 renown became more and more extended. It would be 
 impossible, even if memory permitted, to give a full and 
 proper account of my rumored achievements. Bars and 
 bolts yielded explicit obedience, by which means I had dis- 
 gorged numerous iron safes of their contents ; the bills and 
 notes I had deposited with Mr. Finley, on my arrival from 
 Granada, were spirited away by me, with other moneys 
 from the bank, in defiance of every human precaution. 
 None contradicted or denounced these falsities; the very 
 parties named as victims of my deeds became themselves 
 accomplices in imposing on the credulity of the people. 
 Such was the confidence I had secured, that several visited 
 me in regard to family matters, of the most secret and deli- 
 cate character ; any undertaking appertaining to my busi- 
 ness prospered ; I was the triumphant and roving monarch 
 of my profession. 
 
 Port of Spain is unquestionably the most perfect and 
 handsomely built city in the British West Indies. With 
 regular, well-paved streets, and houses imposing for their du- 
 rability, also small and pleasant squares, that gave a tasteful 
 appearance, the whole character of the place disclosed the 
 evidence of a substantial and dignified community. 
 
 My letters of introduction gave me the entree of the 
 best society, which was superior and highly refined. 
 
 The ■ M.AsquE Ball. 
 
 During my sojourn I attended a grand fancy dress ball, 
 given at the Government House by His Excellency Sir 
 John McCloud, in honor of Queen Victoria's marriage. It 
 was but natural that the interest in a youthful sovereign 
 should be loyal, and of an affectionate and devotional nature. 
 Invitations were extended to the adjacent islands, and hun- 
 dreds of the distinguished and fashionable were present.. 
 
296 CHARACTERS AT A MASQUERADE. 
 
 The event was a successM and graceful homage to the 
 young queen. The sweet and lovely faces of the young, 
 the happy cheerfulness of the old, the animated appearance 
 of the officials, combined with the elegance and costliness 
 of the costumes, produced a scene of brilliancy seldom 
 seen. The whole affair was liberal and expensive, and 
 afforded pleasure and gratification to the generous host a];id 
 his guests, and the occasion has never been effaced from my 
 memory. 
 
 My character in the ball-room was in the dress of an 
 astrologer or magician, composed of a black domino, cov- 
 ered with playing cards, and a high, conical-shaped hat, 
 covered with hieroglyphic and mystic symbols. A large 
 board was in front of my person, supported by a strap from 
 my shoulders, on which I exhibited various demonstrations 
 in legerdemain that bewildered the bright faculties of 
 the merry group that surrounded me, and who could not 
 unravel the spontaneous growth of bouquet after bouquet 
 of matchless flowers, which I distributed in endless num- 
 bers to the fair observers. 
 
 One countenance surprised me at this assembly. It was 
 that of a tall black man, handsomely dressed in a suit of 
 black, with white kid gloves. He was promenading with a 
 lady of Saxon beauty, clear blue eye, and a complexion ex- 
 quisitely fair. They were acknowledging the bows and 
 recognition of all they encountered. I was informed that 
 this gentleman was Dr. Phillips, a person of fine literary 
 attainments, a member of the Governor's Council, and in 
 every respect a nobleman — educated abroad, possessing a 
 fine mental capacity, and, in his personal appearance and 
 manners, highly cultivated. The lady who accompanied' 
 him was his wife, whom he married in England. 
 
 There were many others of like color and similar accom- 
 plishments, with large wealth, but whose dark complexions 
 
MUD VOLCANOES AND PITCH LAKE. 297 
 
 did not deny tliem a reciprocal intercourse with their fairer 
 friends. 
 
 Trinidad contains a variety of natural wonders not found 
 elsewhere. Its many volcanic actions Of the past and 
 present; the tall mountainous scenery; the hills, valleys, 
 and fertile plains, with odorous plants, bounded by sweet 
 rivers and placid streams, charm the eye with delight. The 
 mud and submarine volcanoes are numerous ; the largest of 
 the former is between one and two hundred feet in diameter, 
 with mud continually boiliag and bubbling, which never 
 overflows the surface. Some give heavy discharges of water, 
 impregnated with earth, and burdened with earthy matter. 
 The latter frequently emit petroleum, with loud explosions, 
 accompanied by fire and smoke, shooting out unctuous mat- 
 ter of bright black fossils. But of all the objects, none is 
 so impressive as the Pitch Lake, to which I made a visit in 
 company with several gentlemen. We provided ourselves 
 with refreshments, and engaged a party of negroes to row us 
 down the river, a labor of some hours' duration. For many 
 miles before reaching our destination a strong sulphuric 
 odor greeted us, increasing in strength as we approached 
 our destination. 
 
 The sight of the lake astonished me, and I stood contem- 
 plating the phenomenon with a feeling of awe and amaze- 
 ment. My friends, more intimate with its security, walked 
 at once upon the surface. At first I refused to foUow, which 
 created a hearty laugh, but their freedom and total indiffer- 
 ence to danger gave me resolution to join them. At every 
 advance I found its bituminous substance less solid, and 
 experienced, as we gradually neared the centre, a slight 
 undulation — an elastic feeling, such as is realized on the 
 sand at the sea-shore; a sensation which, if it did not en- 
 tirely overcome my bravery, at least gave it a temporary 
 check. I followed my companions, however, pausing at 
 13* 
 
298 A BEMAHKASLE STATEMENT. 
 
 intervals to admire tlie lovely quietness of the silver waters 
 of the innumerable streams that diverged from various 
 points, and the sulphurous springs ejecting their boiling 
 liquid. We penetrated every nook and corner, examining 
 the few isolated trees and brush, whose vitality was so singu- 
 larly sustained, and all other objects, with deep interest. 
 Nothing escaped our observation ; the most minute trifles 
 supplied us with' interest and reflection ; a burning sun of 
 intense heat did not prevent our perambulating the circum- 
 ference of the lake and its vicinity repeatedly. Our labor 
 of pleasure was continued until time intimated the necessity 
 of our return, after one of the most enjoyable of days. 
 The lake is on the leeward side of the island, more than 
 seventy feet above the sea, and one and a half miles in cir- 
 cumference. It is a deposit of asphaltum, bituminous secre- 
 tion, and earth, united in a compact body. On its border 
 the pitch is fii'm and cool; in the environs are to be seen ' 
 several layers of cinders. Its depth is unknown, although 
 several attempts have been made to fathom it. The pitch 
 has been extensively exported to Europe, to be used in con- 
 nection with other compositions for asphaltum sidewalks, 
 pavements, and roofing, but, I believe, not with profit. 
 Whether this results from the expense of procuring and 
 shipping, or its imperfections, I am unable to state, although 
 it had been applied and practically approved of for paving 
 and other purposes. Its most remarkable feature was, that 
 however great the excavation, even if made by one hundred 
 negroes per day, the next morning the whole surface of the 
 lake would be upon a level. For miles aroimd the soil con- 
 tains a mass of this matter; dead bodies have been exhumed 
 after twenty years' burial, and found without the least de- 
 composition—an evidence of the preservative qualities of 
 this composition. To the scientific the island is one mag- 
 nificent field for exploration, for there is scarcely a step that 
 
TBE CONNECTICUT CAPTAIN. 299 
 
 does not develop some interesting subject for the mind to 
 dwell upon. 
 
 Trinidad is favored with a healthy climate, and the 
 mortality is less than in other islands. The constant dews 
 and vapors ascending from its inland water-courses and the 
 ocean are greatly beneficial to vegetation, and furnish a 
 pleasing and-cooling atmosphere. 
 
 The island has an area of 1,292,800 acres, but only 
 30,000 under tillage. The soil is unusually rich, capable 
 of inexhaustible supplies, with extensive woodlands, valu- 
 able for ship-building and other uses, but the want of in- 
 dustry and development is disheartening, and has an embar- 
 rassing effect upon the community. 
 
 My mission to Trinidad having been completed, I sailed 
 for Antigua. My visit had been pleasant and profitable. 
 The patronage, kindness, and hospitality were more than I 
 could have anticipated. It was not possible to take my 
 departure without strong feelings of regret, and earnest good 
 wishes for the happiness of the inhabitants, and a speedy 
 development of the wealth and resources of their beautiful 
 and unequalled island. 
 
 The brig in which I took passage was built and owned 
 in Connecticut. The master, first and second mates, cook, 
 and one seaman were aU natives of the same State, and a 
 part of the cargo was also manufactured there. There was 
 a fair sprinkling of K'ew England influence, which was per- 
 ceptibly displayed in the discipline and management of the 
 vessel. 
 
 The master was shrewd and parsimonious, and extremely 
 careful of the odds and ends. He would say that many 
 little stones would build a house. If he was not the king 
 of arithmetic, he was its great admirer, and a constant stu- 
 dent, for he never failed to record his faith in the proposi- 
 tion that one and one make two. He "reckoned" and "cal- 
 
300 TBE COOK AND THE MONKEY. 
 
 dilated" by rule in aU matters. When I called to inqxdre 
 if I could take passage with him, he replied,— 
 
 " I reckon so." 
 
 "What will be the charge?" I inquired. 
 
 " Thirty-fire dollars, I calculate, for there are the fixings 
 and extras." 
 
 " That is so. When do you leave ? " 
 
 " At daylight in the morning. Tou had better sleep on 
 board ; it will be no extra expense, ' I- calculate^' " 
 
 During the evening, a party of friends accompanied me 
 to the vessel, and, after much hand-shaking and bestow- 
 ing on me their best wishes, returned, saluting me with 
 hurrahs and waving of their hats until they had reached 
 the shore. 
 
 An Expensive Pet. 
 
 I then retired to my berth and sliimbered, unconscious 
 of my whereabouts, until morning, when I arose, and foimd 
 we were miles on our journey, dancing over the waves, 
 under full sail, and with a strong breeze in our favor. 
 
 The deck of the brig was encumbered with horses, ship- 
 ped in the States for the market, and besides these the cap- 
 tain had a pet monkey, which was the special favorite of 
 nearly all. He was continually playing his pi:anks ; some 
 droll and amusing, others mischievous. He would jump 
 upon the backs of the horses, go through the evolutions of 
 a circus-rider, or he might be seen climbing to the highest 
 point of the mast, bearing with him as a trophy a cooked 
 chicken, or a large piece of beef or pork. This propensity 
 drew upon him the extreme anger of the cook, who was 
 responsible for all losses and waste, as the captain said this 
 was the only way to make people " calculate." The cun- 
 ning of the monkey more than equalled the shrewdness of 
 the man, and a warfare always existed between the two. 
 
THJE LAST OF TBE MONKEY. 301 
 
 The least absence from the galley enabled "Sajn" — who 
 never failed to watch his opportunity — ^to enter and commit 
 sad havoc : the tea and coffee were upset, and all the pre- 
 parations of the culinary department scattered around, or 
 carried away by this imitator of humanity. 
 
 For two days these exploits were continually enacted, the 
 monkey escaping up the rigging, with the sailors in pursuit, 
 but to no purpose. The third morning events reached their 
 olimax, and " Sam's" misdoings brought him to an untimely 
 end. While the captain was taking an observation, he slyly 
 crept into the cabin, and was seen absconding with the cap- 
 tain's gold watch. A hue and cry was raised, all hands en- 
 deavoring to capture the culprit, who ascended the ropes 
 and masts to the highest point. All the shouting, cursing, 
 and chasing was of no avail ; there the monkey remained 
 poised in mid-air, chattering his teeth in ridicule and tri- 
 umph. The captain, perceiving that there was no possi- 
 bility of recovering his property, became much excited, and 
 lost his forbearance. He procured a gun, took deadly aim, 
 and fired; the watch dropped upon the deck; but with 
 a spring " Sam " fell shrieking into the sea, wl^ere he was 
 soon lost to sight. 
 
CHAPTEE XXVn. 
 
 ANTIGFA. 
 
 N the course of tlie afternoon we arrived off 
 the Island of Antigua. The rocks and surf, 
 with a fresh wind and heavy sea, for some 
 time baffled us in our attempts to reach the 
 wharf. The pilot, a loquacious man, notwith- 
 standing his natural agility and constant cus- 
 tom of boarding vessels, found much diffi- 
 culty in getting over the side. As soon as 
 he reached the deck he bowed and assumed charge, observ--. 
 ing, " De most labor I eber experienced, Cap, was to climb 
 dis vessel's side." 
 
 " I reckon so," was the reply. 
 He now, upon duty, sang out, — 
 
 " Take in the topsails ! Haul up the fore-tack ! What's 
 the news in the States, Cap? Steady! steady! that's it — 
 keep her so. Have you any corn beef. Cap ? " 
 
 " I calculate so ; reckon jon want to beg a piece ? " 
 "That's queer — ^both of the. same mind. Fools often, 
 are. There is nothing foolish in a piece of American com 
 beef. Cap." 
 
 "Work the vessel in before dark, and you shaU have 
 some." 
 
 "Good! Don't let her fall off; brace the main yard; 
 easy. Brig don't steer well. Cap. She is not trim. Ah I 
 she is slipping in fast. Ever on the island afore, Cap?" 
 
WONDERFUL " CSITTEBS." 303 
 
 " I reckon I have made twenty voyages here." 
 
 " Thought so ; face familiar." 
 
 "Why, you have taken me in several times." 
 
 "Glad of that; better to have old friends than new. 
 Let her luff; clew up the foresail ; keep her off a point." 
 
 The action and energy of the pilot soon placed the 
 vessel alongside the dock, when he declared he never before 
 carried a vessel in with the same despatch. The pilot, hav- 
 ing discharged his duty, received his fee, and was rewarded 
 with a large joint of meat, which he accepted gratefully, 
 acknowledging his thanks in a comical vein of language. 
 
 The Educated Horses. 
 
 When leaving for the shore, and passing the horses on 
 deck, one of the latter spoke, saying, " Pilot, I would like 
 to dine with you to-morrow." 
 
 "Halloo!" cried the pilot, looking with surprise. 
 
 "I would like a slice of your beef," said the horse. 
 
 " What kind of horses are these. Cap ? " 
 
 " Very fine ones," replied the latter, as he approached 
 them. 
 
 " Not exactly fine," spoke one of the animals, " we are 
 old and worn out." 
 
 "Who made that observation?" said the captain, with a 
 degree of amazement that was unmistakable. 
 
 "I did," retorted a gray horse. 
 
 "Dem wonderful critters, Cap ! " 
 
 " Yes, I reckon they are. I am astonished and thunder- 
 struck. I never heard them speak before." 
 
 "What a story, captain ! " 
 
 Here the skipper drew up in a rage toward the one he 
 presumed had accused him. 
 
 " Don't be rash ! " exclaimed the other horse. 
 
 "Well, Cap, they beat all I have ever seen." 
 
304 THE ENRAGED CAPTAIN. 
 
 "I calculate they do. What made you so long silent?" 
 addressing the horses. 
 
 " No one noticed us till now. It is not polite to in- 
 trade. Our education is more refined." 
 
 "I should Hke to know where you obtained it?" de- 
 manded the captain. 
 
 " At home." 
 
 "Where is that?" 
 
 "With the spirits." 
 
 " I don't believe a word of it." 
 
 " Tou don't ? Then you are a heathen." 
 
 " K you talk, I'U throw you overboard." 
 
 "Tou had better not ; we cost too much, and you would 
 lose your freight." 
 
 " I reckon I should ; but you cannot be horses, unless 
 you have the Old Boy in yon ! " 
 
 " If our Great Spirit was here, he would turn you into 
 yone." 
 
 Here the captain seized a billet of wood, and was in the 
 act of striking, when a loud guttural tone cried, " Beware ! 
 beware ! " The captain dropped the wood with fright, star- 
 ted back with fear and indignation, threatening to procure 
 his gun. At this I interposed, and professed myself the evil 
 spirit that had perplexed his mind. 
 
 "Tou?" 
 
 " Tes, me, captain ; I have done all the talking." 
 
 " What kind of a man are you ? " 
 
 "Dat child don't belong to dis world," the pilot re- 
 marked. 
 
 "Not difierent from other people, except I am gifted 
 with the power of throwing my voice." 
 
 " Tou are a ventriloquist, then ? " 
 
 "lam." 
 
 " What is dat ? " inqiured the pilot. 
 
KIDNAPPED IN A TRUNK. 305 
 
 The captain attempted to explain, but the pilot shook 
 his head, and said it was a language he did not understand. 
 Here I imitated the barking of a dog at his heels,, when he 
 made a rush for the shore, shouting, — 
 
 " Dat's too much for me ! " 
 
 This restored the captain's good nature, and giving me 
 a hearty shake of the hand, admitted I had the best of him. 
 
 The Kidnapped Negro. 
 
 The following morning, while removing my luggage to 
 the hotel, the porter — a negro — ^was unexpectedly aston- 
 ished by a sound from the trunk he was carrying, — 
 
 " Be careful — ^be very careful." 
 
 "Who's dar?" 
 
 " A man." 
 
 "Whatman?" 
 
 "Colored boy." 
 
 "Who put you dar?" 
 
 "Master." 
 
 "What for?" 
 
 " To save passage-money." 
 
 " He is a mean man. What is he going to do with 
 you?" 
 
 " Take me to the Southern States of America to sell 
 for a slave. He says I'll bring twelve hundred dollars." 
 
 " I would not go." 
 
 " I don't intend to, if any one will help me." 
 
 By this time several persons had collected, and demanded 
 his release. 
 
 " Where is the owner of the trunk ? " 
 
 " Break it open." 
 
 "Who has a key?" 
 
 " It is a wicked thing ; the man will be stifled. Here, 
 let us have him out," giving the trunk a vigorous kick. 
 
306 THE " OLD NIGK." 
 
 " Halloo ! that thumped my head ! " shouted the man. 
 
 Perceiving there was a determination to force the lock, 
 I drew the key from my pocket, and inquired if he wanted 
 his liberty. 
 
 "Yes, I do." 
 
 "Well, you shall have it." 
 
 On opening the trunk, the suffering man was missing ; 
 but his voice was distinctly audible penetrating the ground, 
 saying, " I am off to the other world ! " 
 
 This unexpected result produced the greatest sensation 
 and suprise. 
 
 " He is the devil ! " cried eveiy voice. 
 
 The countenances of the bystanders proclaimed the in- 
 terest they felt for the man, and their inability to solve the 
 sudden exit and whereabouts. They declared, as they 
 walked discontentedly away, that I must be the Old Mek, 
 and those who lingered near the spot made vain attempts to 
 discover some opening in the ground through which he had 
 disappeared. So great was the excitement attending this 
 occurrence, that it was some time before I could induce any 
 person to take my trunks to the hotel. 
 
 St. John. 
 
 This is one of the chief towns of Antigua, and although 
 the capital, yet it presented a gloomy spectacle, for it was 
 destitute of those encouraging influences which stimulate 
 the energies and mind to industry, and give character to a 
 prosperous and independent people. The gorgeous sun 
 never revealed its smiling rays upon an island more rich 
 and luxurious ; but iN'ature, however prolific and generous, 
 not only relies upon man, but expects him promptly to de- 
 velop and diffuse her gifts, and whenever there is no deter- 
 mination or disposition to exercise the physical and intel- 
 lectual powers and faculties, to improve the advantages so 
 
WONDER OF TSE ANTWUANS. 307 
 
 tincommon and rare, desolation and pecuniary suffering 
 must be the inevitable fate of all such communities. 
 
 My public representations here were also successful. 
 Nothing could exceed the interest they created. "Such 
 wonders," as the Antiguans expressed themselves, had 
 never before been witnessed on the island. They had 
 heard and read, to some extent, of the supposed miracles 
 said to have taken place in the early ages of the world, and 
 even in later times ; but in this enlightened century, when 
 the mind is capable of grasping with every important sub- 
 ject of science, — of penetrating into the wonders of the 
 heavenly bodies, to unravel their mysteries, — of employing 
 lightning as an agent of speech, connecting continents by 
 its mighty action, — of compelling steam and machinery to 
 do that which was formerly the labor of the hands, and 
 when the natural effects of genius predominates in every 
 department of life's busy scenes — how strange it is that the 
 vision and reasoning of thousands should fail to detect and 
 explain the secrets of my art ; but on the contrary, its de- 
 velopment confotinds and perplexes their imaginations, 
 and gives to me an unwarrantable greatness of character. 
 Were I endowed with powers above aU men, it would not 
 be possible to commit such immeasurable and extravagant 
 marvels as I was accredited with in this place. The intense 
 heat, scarcity of water, dull times, and aU other local griev-" 
 ances, were attributed to me. Such was the behef of .the 
 ignorant ; and even those unaccustomed to be impressed by 
 romance, could not resist the pressure of opinion as to my 
 complicity with the evil one, and final destination to his 
 regions. 
 
 This was singularly developed in various instances. 
 Many avoided my presence; others refiised to hold any 
 interviews on business matters with me; and even the 
 most eminent divine on the island, the pastor of a large 
 
308 A CONSCIENTIOUS MINISTEB. 
 
 and influential congregation, declined accepting two hun- 
 dred dollars, being the profits of a benefit given for the 
 poor ! and when rebuked for his unwise course, justified 
 himself on principle? of religious morality in the following 
 language : 
 
 " What ! receive alms for the poor from a wizard — ;a be- 
 witched hand ? Oh ! no. "What spiritual grace would flow 
 upon the objects in distress ? No good can possibly come 
 from such a source, any more than the presentation of the 
 Bible to Satan, with the expectation of his becoming pious 
 and prayerful." 
 
 So said this godly man ; but a majority of his parish- 
 ioners, more truly Christian in character, and with broader 
 philanthropy, disgusted by the reverend gentleman's mawk- 
 ish sensibilities and inclination to acquiesce in the current 
 gossip of the day, at the expense of the poor and distressed, 
 in opposition to his opinions, appointed a committee for its 
 proper distribution. 
 
 From most of the intelligent I received respect and at- 
 tention. Their uniform kindness greatly diminished the 
 injurious effects of the many and conflicting statements con- 
 nected with my public and private life, which, with a self- 
 consciousness as to my innocence of any evil motives, en- 
 couraged me to invent more startling mysteries. The only 
 serious difficulty I encountered, was in the procuring of a 
 haU ; but a wealthy and popular gentleman, with a liber- 
 ality seldom exhibited, placed at my disposal the spacious 
 drawing-room of his elegant mansion, to which the public 
 were admitted. 
 
 Antigua is a pleasant island, with an unusually dry at- 
 mosphere ; the coast remarkable for its ruggedness, but the 
 interior especially rich and diversified, which is frequently 
 beautiful beyond description. Usually, sufficient grain is 
 produced for the requisite want of the inhabitants, being 
 
SIR CHABLES AND LADY FITZ ROY. 309 
 
 the only island in that section where the soil and climate 
 are favorable to its growth. 
 
 After a few days of quiet retirement from professional 
 exertions, I prepared to make my adieux to many pleasant 
 acquaintances ; but previous to my leaving, I received the 
 following letter from His Excellency Sir Charles Fitz Koy : 
 
 " Sir : The Govemor-in-Chief desires me to say that he 
 has been highly gratified at witnessing your very surprising 
 performances, during your visit to Antigua. 
 " I am, sir, yours, 
 
 " G. H. Frrz Eoy, 
 "I^rivate Secretary to the Corrrnicmder-m- Chief." 
 
 Sir Charles and Lady Fitz Eoy were connected with the 
 best and most aristocratic families of England, but in pecun- 
 iary matters they were less distinguished ; yet there was a 
 liberality in their characters which they exercised even be- 
 yond the resources they possessed, and which gave them 
 popularity and respect. 
 
 Neyis. 
 
 This is one of the small but beautiful groups of the 
 Antilles, delightfully situated, containing various objects of 
 geographical and scientific interest, with special advantages 
 of a medicinal and curative character for invalids. Nu- 
 merous sulphur-springs, and baths of varied temperature, 
 attract to its beneficial soil numbers inclined to pulmonary 
 or consumptive complaints. 
 
 If the facilities for reaching the island were only better, 
 and the hotel accommodations more extensive and conven- 
 ient, with the necessary comforts attached to them, the in- 
 crease of visitors would be large, and of pecuniary benefit 
 to the citizens ; but the same want of energy, so conspicu- 
 
310 OPINIONS OF THE PEOPLE. 
 
 OTIS in the tropical character, prevails here. Here is a vine- 
 yard rich and profuse, without laborers to plant or gather 
 the golden treasures. They prefer contented poverty to 
 the more exalted physical employment and ingenuity of the 
 mind, for which there are ample opportunities, with a fair 
 prospect of success. 
 
 I gave two entertainments, that were liberally patron- 
 ized, and created an immense furor. Not a few declared 
 that I was an escaped imp from the fold of darkness ; that 
 my walk, actions, and speech were not in common with 
 other men, and my constant dress of black was considered 
 an evidence of the truth of their opinions. Others, less 
 speculative, and not disposed to admit my friendship with 
 beings of the invisible world, praised the dexterity with 
 which I exercised my art, and regarded it as the very best 
 evidence of the unrehability of the sight, besides being an 
 excellent medium for enlightening the timid and supersti- 
 tious, to awaken their dreamy thoughts, and give liberty to 
 rational impressions. 
 
 I concluded a short engagement, and proceeded to St. 
 Kitts, or St. Christopher, a charming spot, with healthy, 
 fresh air — in fact, a little Eden ; for here grows exuberantly, 
 fragrant exotics, and aU the luscious fruits and productions 
 of a warm earth and glowing sun. jJTature, in aU her fruit- 
 fulness and loveliness, betrays a happy greeting, a solicitude 
 for aU who live in this genial chme, the excellences of 
 which are not, unfortunately, made available. 
 
 My presence and wonder-working were the occasion of 
 much commotion, for I was flattered and feared without 
 reference to truth or merit, and obtained great popularity, 
 and a crowded attendance. Tew understood me, or cared 
 to reason respecting me. They beheld with astonishment 
 the wonderful effects produced by the mechanical action of 
 the hand, its promptness of execution, and superiority over 
 
CAPITAL OF ST. KITTS. 311 
 
 the mental and optical organs. They doubted nothing, but 
 admitted everything ; to them, seeing was believing, in the 
 positive sense. ISo explanation of facts could convince the 
 islanders, particularly the uneducated, as to my mortal bear- 
 ing. " How is it possible," they asked, " for a man to 
 transform white to black, extract the choicest wines from 
 empty bottles, and produce all the supplies of a vegetable 
 garden out of a borrowed hat ? Surely, these things, ob- 
 served with our own eyes, are confirmations beyond all con- 
 jecture ! " 
 
 These, and similar expressions, were indulged in freely. 
 The proprietor of the hotel was a notional and remarkably 
 unhappy man. He feared his house would be ever after 
 haunted, and spirits make it their rendezvous, for he had, 
 more than once since my arrival, been awakened from his 
 slumbers by wild and fearful cries, to gaze on features of the 
 most ghastly hue. These nocturnal visions were told to 
 friends and neighbors, and naturally increased the general 
 speculation. 
 
 Basseterre. 
 
 This is the capital of St. Kitts, a plain, forlorn place, 
 with no striking beauties in its buildings or streets, or orna- 
 mental squares ; but an exhibit of unconcern appeared in all 
 the minor and important duties of the town? The absence 
 of the most trifling conveniences was very marked. Con- 
 tentment, however, governs the feelings of the people. The 
 scenery of the island is unusually grand and imposing. The 
 lofty ridges, descending magnificently toward the sea, pre- 
 sents a charming picture ; the soil, rich and fertile to the 
 highest degree, and cultivated woodlands and pasturage 
 reach the mountain tops, near which is the remains of what 
 was an active volcanic crater. Salt-ponds afford valuable 
 advantages, while sulphur .and silver ore are also found to 
 
312 CHARTERING A VESSEL. 
 
 some extent. The island is subject to fearfial hurricanes, 
 and one occurred in 1Y22 that nearly destroyed the whole 
 of it. 
 
 My engagement completed, my patrons and myself were 
 united. in reciprocating those amenities which are so pleas- 
 ant on all occasions, and in every degree of life. 
 
 After waiting several days in vain for an opportunity 
 to procure a passage, I found it necessary to charter a vessel, 
 as the only possible means of continuing my journey. The 
 skipper and his son (colored people), proud of their contract, 
 and the confidence reposed in them, washed and scrubbed 
 their sloop to a praiseworthy extent, and decorated her rig- 
 ging with some half-dozen flags, of different nations, which 
 floated their tattered drapery on the gentle breeze. All 
 preparations being complete, a delegation of friends accom- 
 panied me to the water's edge, and dispensed their farewells 
 and good wishes, the mellow tones of which lingered long 
 in my ears. The swan-like sails were spread, and the little 
 boat floated on the blue waters, with a fairy grace, toward 
 St. Thomas. 
 
CHAPTEE XXVIII. 
 
 A SEA VOYAGE. 
 
 I HE vessel looks quite gay, captain," 
 I remarked, "with so many nation- 
 al emblems flying." 
 
 "Oh! yes. I did not know 
 which one was yom-s, so I set them 
 aU." * 
 
 " That was very kind and com- 
 plimentary of you. I am an American by adoption. I see 
 you have the English one at the top." 
 
 " Yes ; because it is the only flag under which all men 
 are free." 
 
 " Not more so than the American, eh ? Does not that 
 defend all who seek its protection ? Any political refugee 
 is safe imder its banner." 
 
 " That may be, so far as concerns the whites ; but the 
 EngUsh flag does not admit of difference in color, — it is 
 just to all." 
 
 " So is that of the United States," I said. 
 " No, there is a great difierence in that country. The 
 laws are unkind to the colored race— very much so ; in 
 some parts of it they are neglected and desjAed, and in 
 others, oppressed and enslaved." 
 
 " But that is not so as a rule. ■ Of course there are ex- 
 ceptions ; but as regards the institution of slavery, it was 
 admitted as a compromise, at the formation of the constitu- 
 14 
 
314 INTERIOR OF THE CABIN. 
 
 tion, but it has millions of opponents, and, in a few years, 
 will be abolished." 
 
 " I hope so,— the sooner the belter. The Americans, I 
 see, are wise and sharp." 
 
 At this moment our conyersation was interrupted by 
 the announcement of dinner. I descended, and entered a 
 small, confined cabin, and seated myself to a well-prepared 
 meal of turtle soup and curried chicken. While dining, I 
 employed my eyes in examining the surrounding objects. 
 The first and most imposing one was a large and apparent- 
 ly well-used family Bible, on a small carpet-shelf," over which 
 was painted, in large white letters, — 
 
 " Blessed is lie who often looks 
 Into the best of all books." 
 
 Above this was suspended a spy-glass and several maps, a 
 silver watch, and lithographic portrait of Lord Nelson, in a 
 tasteful frame, entwined with oleanders and roses; andfi'om 
 this handsome adornment I concluded the admiral was held 
 in high esteem. There were also a table and bench, which 
 comprised the whole of the furniture. The bench I was to 
 sleep upon ! 
 
 "Do things please you, sir?" inquired the man who 
 waited upon me. 
 
 " Yery much. Tou appear to understand cooking." 
 
 " A little, sir ; mo^t "West India people are good cooks." 
 
 " How do you account for it ? " 
 
 " The climate, sir." 
 
 "Is that so?" 
 
 " Yes, sir. Food has not the same taste here as in cold 
 countries. We have to season it well, to sharpen the appe- 
 tite." 
 
 A whistle from above was a signal that assistance was 
 needed. The man hurried upon deck, and I followed. 
 
Jr 
 
 ■".^ly-'jiff 
 
A STORM AT SEA. 315 
 
 " Joe, take tlie helm," said the skipper. " The wind has ' 
 shifted to the southeast, and I had better take in sail, and 
 make aU snug. It looks dusty-like to me; we shall have a 
 heavy sea." 
 
 He now let down and furled the mainsail, and reefed 
 the jib. By this time the storm had commenced in earnest, 
 and the vessel combated the angry waves with a defiant 
 spirit ; the more it blew, the more zephyr-like the little 
 craft danced over the strong and undulating, waters. 
 
 " ITow, Joe, m steer. Tou close the cabin door and 
 lash it." 
 
 " Bad weather," I remarked. 
 
 " Yery ; but it will soon be over." 
 
 Gradually the whole horizon became dismal with a 
 gloomy darkness. Occasionally the fierce and rapid flashes 
 of lightning illumined for a moment the sable dome, while 
 the thunder echoed a mighty chorus. The wind and rain 
 were fearful, and the sea terrific. J held on to the slender 
 rigging with a frightful feeling, as now and then a raging 
 billow would break upon the deck. The tiny boat betrayed 
 no weakness, but, like the ark in the deluge, rode out the 
 gale in safety. 
 
 " Well, captain, that was a hurricane with a vengeance." 
 
 "Nothing to what we sometimes experience. The 
 sloop has been in much heavier weather, by a long shot." 
 
 " She worked nobly." 
 
 "Tes, she is reKable; I well know her qualities; a 
 better piece of work never floated." 
 
 Slowly but gradually the elements became peaceful ; the 
 glorious sun penetrated once more the sombre clouds, and 
 prismatically distributed his golden lustre around heaven's 
 vast curtain, and as every vestige of the tempest vanished, 
 the sky smiled with a rich mellowness — a transformation 
 so lovely and exhilaratiug, that no artist's pencil could sketch 
 
316 THE QUEEN OF FAIRIES. 
 
 the grandeur of the scene. Once more the boat was under 
 full sail, and apparently aware of her superiority, pursued 
 her course with unprecedented speed, bending the whole 
 burden of her canvas to the pressure of a yet strong but 
 settled breeze. 
 
 '^She is leaping! " exclaimed the captain, with a smile 
 of satisfaction. 
 
 " Yes, she is sailing fast ; she is a racer." 
 
 " Nothing equal to her in these waters ; you know her 
 name is the ' Dart,' sir." 
 
 " I think you should have called her the ' Fairy.' " 
 
 " I could not christen her that, for I have seen too many 
 ocean spirits — as some call them — and been frightened by 
 their wild and antic capers." 
 
 " When and where ? " 
 
 " At all hours of the night — sometimes dressed in the 
 colors of the rainbow." 
 
 " Were you not asleep and dreaming ? " 
 
 " Not I, sir ; I never close my eyes when at the helm ; 
 and I have often beheld the whole surface of the water 
 appear as a lake of silver, and have observed the Queen of 
 Fairies upon a golden throne, surrounded by her court; 
 their beauty and graceful homage toward her, the music 
 ^of their sweet voices, ascending from their coral beds in the 
 boundless depth of the ocean, and their crystal laugh, rip- 
 pling the gentle waves, appeared truly enchanting." 
 
 "These charmed melodies must have entranced your 
 senses." 
 
 " Yes, I cannot express the sensation ; it seemed as if I 
 were at the gates of Paradise." 
 
 "Was the dance you mentioned equally fascinating?" 
 
 "Yes, more so; their little feet skipping on the foam- 
 crested wave, with a bewitching velocity, every attitude of 
 their extraordinary motions was, by some reflecting conju- 
 
A DREAM OF HEAVEN. 3 17 
 
 ration, increased to millions of shadows, countless as the 
 stars — a perfect jack-o' -lantern." 
 
 " How did they close their festive gathering ? " 
 " Always, at the dawn of day, they grew more mystical 
 and fanciful, and gradually sank from view." 
 
 The shades of night had now approached, and as the 
 moon deepened her broad and beaming light over the sol- 
 emn quiet, with unlimited generosity, I could not but think 
 of life's varied and dramatic character. How cheerful to 
 some, and tragic to others ! Its influence on the universal 
 mind ; the joy derived from hope and affection, blind to 
 every fault, shoots its love with imerring aim ; its struggles, 
 triumphs, and miseries, combined with a thousand incidents, 
 mark how strange and wonderful is the lot of man. 
 
 A Dreaja of Weayen. 
 
 In my reflective mood, I remembered all dear to me in 
 heaven ; and those xmited by family ties and friendships, in 
 this mundane sphere, were equally pictured to my memory. 
 
 After thus exhausting my mental feelings, I became 
 wearied, bade the captain good night, and retired to the 
 cabin to seek repose. I foimd my bed was composed of a 
 light hair mattress, stretched upon the settee before alluded 
 to. « 
 
 " Hope you will rest well to-night, sir," said Joe, the 
 attendant; "and if you need more clothing, there is a 
 blanket at the foot." 
 
 "Thank you." 
 
 My couch was hard and uncomfortable in every respect, 
 but I closed my eyes, and without difficulty was soon wrapt 
 in slumber. I little realized the frail support between me 
 and the mighty deep. I dreamed of walking in fields and 
 gardens laden with flowers; the paths were paved with 
 pearls, and the trees filled with birds of every hue, war- 
 
318 TBE RIGBTEOUS AND WICKED. 
 
 bling their songs of joy and welcome; there were mag- 
 nificent palaces, and grand castles built of sparMing gems, 
 with majestic turrets, extending their brilliant spires, with 
 splendor and dignity, far heavenward. The more I wan- 
 dered, the more beautiful and grand were the objects 
 brought to view ; and I also saw innumerable happy-look- 
 ing people, of noble and courteous demeanor, apparently of a 
 nation unknown to me. I asked one, in flowing white robes, 
 whence he came, and who were the beings that surrounded 
 me. 
 
 "We are inmates here; this is our final home," he 
 replied. 
 
 " Well, who are you, and where am I ? " 
 
 "This is the righteous world — ^the eternal home — ^the 
 great city of the good — ^where the spirit of life never be- 
 comes extinct ; angels miuister to the wearied their holy 
 comfort ; the sweetness you inhale is the essence of a dew 
 that descends from the Throne of Grace, and gives ever- 
 lasting vitality ; the air is constantly impregnated with its 
 rich and precious blessings." 
 
 " What are these superb structures ? " 
 
 " They are Temples of the L.ord, where He administers 
 His Divine Will, and where millions of voices with mingled 
 praises, vibrate gladness and honor to His glory." 
 
 " Is this happiness perpetual ? " 
 
 " Yes, it is for ever and ever." 
 
 " Tou are greatly favored." 
 
 " Divinely so." 
 
 " Is the prospect aU so bright — ^not one dark and ob- 
 scure spot ? " 
 
 " No ; the light of heaven is never dim. Beyond this 
 boundary, however, is a yawning pit, bottomless and mx- 
 fathomable, which'' contains masses of beings whose moi-tal 
 career unfitted them for the unfading bHss of this spot." 
 
JOE SPOILS TSE DREAM. 319 
 
 " Are there many convicted ones ? " 
 
 " Their mimbers are countless, yet this domain is filled 
 ■with precious gifts ; the spirit of immortality is provided 
 for old and young. .Thei-e is also a great book, wherein are 
 ■written and recorded the names and deeds of all, and it is 
 kept near the Throne in the judgment-room. I cannot take 
 you to it, for no hand is permitted to touch its golden 
 clasps ; no eye note its revered contents, save Se whose love 
 is Justice ! ' 
 
 " Why this prohibition ? " 
 
 " You must not question the wisdom of the command." 
 
 " Is it not natural to seek to learn our destiny % " 
 
 " To those who doubt the truth, but not to the faithfiil." 
 
 " Is there no appeal— no hope ? " 
 
 "Yes; belief." 
 
 " "Will that secure the treasure ? " 
 
 " Triumphantly so ; for, without you are fortified with 
 it, there is no salvation, and bitter is the wrath that punishes 
 those whose hearts are unregenerated. Go thy way, and 
 teach faith, hope, and charity; scatter thy good deeds 
 around, that a life among the saints may be thy reward." 
 
 As the last words were spoken, the illusion was dispelled 
 by the entrance of Joe, who inquired if I had rested well, and 
 how soon I would be ready for breakfast. I made a hasty 
 toilet, and after regaling myself with a hearty meal, pro- 
 ceeded to the deck, where I found the captain steering his 
 craft with pride, and a capability deserving a more impor- 
 tant command. After the usual salutation, I remarked how 
 bright the morning was ; that a happy loveliness, a laugh- 
 ing joy, bedecked the horizon and mingled with the rays 
 of the cheering sun. There was much to admire, and noth- 
 ing to mar the beauty of the scene ; indeed, the whole pros- 
 pect was the coimterpart of an Italian lake : the more the eye 
 surveyed its magnificence, the more it increased, and our 
 
320 WATER NTMPBS. 
 
 boat bounded over tbe gUded ocean with the swiftness of 
 the wind. 
 
 ""Was the night a pleasant one?" I asked the skipper. 
 
 " Yes, beautiful, with a light wind and quiet sea, while 
 hundreds of water-nymphs were tripping their shadows on 
 its surface, Hke the will-o'-the-wisp." 
 
 " Captain, you must be a ready believer in witches and 
 phantoms." 
 
 " How can I be otherwise, when I see them with my 
 own eyes ! " 
 
 "Do they ever niolest you, or desire to come on board?" 
 
 " Oh, no," he replied. " They hold no communication 
 with the children of men. I. only wonder for what purpose 
 such mysterious beings were ci'eated." 
 
 " Well, captain, we will not moralize upon their pres- 
 ence or usefulness ; but teU me how long you have made 
 the sea your profession." 
 
 " Since I was a boy." 
 
 " Then you must be well acquainted with the different 
 islands?" 
 
 " Yes," he replied ; " there is not a mountain-spot but 
 that I am familiar with, a harbor or inlet that I cannot navi- 
 gate in the darkest night. My father, for fifty years piloted 
 in these waters, and was famed for his care and knowledge. 
 He carried me with him to sea from boyhood, so that I l^d 
 a good master, and he, I hope, a faithful apprentice. But 
 the Jones family, for generations, have aU been noted as 
 skilful pilots and captains; and Joe, I feel assured, will 
 take my place. For our predilections we are dubbed ' sea 
 dogs' ; but a man is not a fish, even if he can swim." 
 
 "When do you expect we shall reach St. Thomas?" 
 
 " I think we shall make the run by to-morrow morning, 
 sir. The vessel is skipping her best." 
 
 " She appears to do so, most certainly. I presume, cap- 
 
TME CAPTAIN^S ABGVMENT. 321 
 
 tain, there is a great falling oflF in the trade and wealth of 
 the islands?" 
 
 " Very much. The imports are nothing in extent now 
 to what they were in former times ; their value is insignifi- 
 cant in comparison." 
 
 " To what do you attribute the great change?" I asked. 
 
 "The result is owing to many circumstances. First, 
 the chmate is better adapted to the colored people, who, 
 when they were slaves, were never encouraged or coun- 
 tenanced, their only worth being their labor ; hence they 
 were neglected in every instance. Their moral and mental 
 condition was of no importance to their employers, com- 
 pared to their physical developments, l^o care- or atten- 
 tion was given to instruct the mind, or to improve those 
 natural impulses that are essential to a man, however low 
 or degraded his position may be." 
 
 " Captain, how could you expect the advocates of slavery 
 to adopt those measures you speak of? "Would it have been 
 wise and philosophical for them to have done so ?" 
 
 " Most assuredly, sir ; for intelligence, in any capacity, 
 strengthens and stimulates the actions." 
 
 " But such a course might have been dangerous in its 
 effects, might have engendered discontent, and been detri- 
 mental to the relation existing between master and servant." 
 
 " Not in the least, sir. Knowledge has always alarmed 
 tyrants, but in principle it is just and reasonable ; and had 
 the slave-holders estabhshed schools for the children during 
 the day, and relievei^ the labor of men and women an hour 
 or two earlier, and thus have afforded them an opportunity 
 to attend a night school, both parties would have experi- 
 enced the advantage in a wonderful degree, for time never 
 fails to exhibit the results of knowledge. In this case, both 
 the master and slave would have been benefited, and, as 
 circumstances and occasions arose, the latter could have 
 14* 
 
322 BESULTS OF EDUCATION. 
 
 purchased their freedom, and with other advantages which 
 would have arisen, and the saving of their earnings, they 
 would have become landholders, and our. islands, to-day so 
 distressed and impoverished, though rich in soil, would be 
 cultivated with success and profit by a happy, industrious, 
 and prosperous population, prepared also for self-govern- 
 ment." 
 
 " There is much truth in what you have stated, captain, 
 for no doubt, if such a course had"been pursued, the most im- 
 portant benefits would have been experienced ; but, doubt- 
 less, such a measure was opposed by the advocates of sla- 
 very, who lived in an age less refined, and their liberality 
 was not disposed to destroy — as they supposed — their pe- 
 cuniary interest." 
 
 " Exactly so ; they were deficient in wisdom, and could 
 not penetrate the future. Their selfish nature predomi- 
 nated in every thought and movement." 
 
 " Do you entertain any hope of a better condition of 
 things?" 
 
 " ISTot, sir, until more earnest efforts are given to educa- 
 tional purposes ; for it is impossible that wealth, industry, 
 or comfort, can emanate from ignorance. A man without a 
 mind capable of directing his habits and actions, cannot ad- 
 vance in the scale of civilization. It will take a generation 
 to produce the good •! have named, for the most devoted 
 exertions wiH be required from the government, and from 
 hvmiane and phUosophical people, to render it a success." 
 
 "Do you consider that emancipation has been 'a bene- 
 fit?" 
 
 "Tes, it has removed an aristocracy, whose hearts were 
 insensibly hardened to the sufferings of a captive race, de- 
 prived of enjoying the natural love and possession of their 
 own families, and who were ofttimes punished and cruelly 
 tortured for exhibiting natural affection." 
 
AN XINJCNOWN VISITOR. 323 
 
 Thus we conversed, upon various topics, the day long, 
 broken only by the hour for our meals ; and when night 
 came, with the splendor of a tropical clime, and the lustre 
 of countless stars, our thoughts and language turned upon 
 other subjects. 
 
 The captain spoke of witches and miracles on land and 
 sea, their influence upon different minds, how some recog- 
 nized the invisible spirit, and others doiibted the existence 
 of any power beyond the present, being evidently a sceptic 
 himself respecting those events which his judgment could 
 not unravel. I concluded, therefore, to test his sincerity 
 and confidence in ghosts, and the unreal objects he had 
 spoken of. 
 
 An Old M.aid on Board, 
 
 Suddenly, a female voice called " Joe! " who, springing, 
 from his position on the deck, repMed, — 
 
 " Ay, ay, what is it ? Who are you ? " 
 
 " It is a woman's voice," said the captain ; " some of the 
 water witches." 
 
 " You are mistaken, sir ; I am an honorable woman." 
 
 "If so, why here at this hour of the night?" said the 
 captain. 
 
 " I have been sadly abused, driven from my home, with- 
 out friends or protection." 
 
 " Excuse me. We don't hold intercourse with dwellers 
 of the mystic regions," replied the skipper. 
 
 " My people are as good as yours." 
 
 " Wliat do you know of me ? " asked the captain. 
 
 "A great deal." 
 
 "Ton do?" 
 
 "Tes; everybody has heard of the Joneses, — the sea 
 dogs." 
 
 The latter words produced a marked effect upon the 
 
324 THE SKIPPER CONFOUNDED. 
 
 captain's mind, and, nervously placing the vessel in Joe's 
 charge, he rushed from one side to the other, to discover 
 the stranger, and question her identity more closely, but 
 she was invisible. 
 
 " What's become of you ? " he sharply inquired. 
 
 " Don't you see me ? " 
 
 "No!" 
 
 "Why, here I am." 
 
 " Strange, then, not to see you." 
 
 "No, not at all; you've been drinking." 
 
 " You are an impertinent creature ; I'U pull your ears 
 if I get hold of you." 
 
 " I am sure I am right, or you would not talk so unlike 
 a gentleman." 
 
 " Do you mean to say I am intoxicated ? " 
 
 "I do." 
 
 The captain, turning to me, remarked he had a good 
 witness to the contrary. 
 
 "But that) man is no better than you; he has been 
 drinking, too ! " 
 
 " You are outrageously insulting." 
 
 " What can such as you expect ? " 
 
 The captain's eyes wandered in every direction to find 
 his accuser, but without success ; and he then declared it 
 was a mystery unexplainable. 
 
 " Facts are unwelcome things to those whom they con- 
 cern," said the woman. 
 
 " She is evidently some mischievous old maid concealed 
 about the boat," I observed. 
 
 "Pretty shrewd guess for you, sir; but fortunately, 
 Jones knows who I am, and all about me. I am where 
 he placed me, and he can find me in a moment if he 
 wishes." 
 
 " Is that so, captain ? " I asked. 
 
JOE TAKES TBB BELM. 325 
 
 " No, sir ! " he declared, in a great rage ; " I am as in- 
 nocent as you are, and ignorant as to who she is, and her 
 whereabouts." 
 
 " Ah, Jones ! you are a wicked man to fib so. Didn't 
 you conceal me in the store-room \ " 
 
 " Ah, captain ! the affair is explained ! " I cried out. 
 
 " Do you believe it ? " he fiercely asked. 
 
 " Of course I do ; so trot out your ghostly passenger." 
 
 " There is no one there, living or dead, to my knowl- 
 edge," he answered; "but we will see. Joe, take the 
 helm, whUe we look for ourselves." 
 
 We descended, and the captain took a key from his 
 pocket, with which he tmlocked the door of a small store- 
 room, encumbered with paiat, pitch, ropes, sails, blocks, and 
 implements of hardware, a barrel of flour, one of sugar, and 
 coffee, with other necessary provisions for a vessel. 
 
 " Hallo ! " shouted the captain, with herculean lungs ; 
 "if you are here, come out and let us see who you are ! " 
 
 " I would like to do so, but I am so squeezed in, I am 
 unable to move." 
 
 " K so, it is no one's fault but your own ; what did you 
 go there for ? "^ 
 
 "Why, you know well enough. What is the use of 
 your pretending innocence ? — ^you behave shamefully ! " 
 
 " You are crazy ; but come out — ^I'll not ill-treat you. 
 
 " I don't know about that — but remove your goods." 
 
 The captain tumbled out his stores, but no shadow of 
 humanity appeared. Gazing at me, he inquired what I 
 thought of it. I shook my head, and said it appeared in- 
 comprehensible. 
 
 He replaced his goods, and relieved Joe; when, for a 
 whole hour, he discoursed upon the strangeness of the event, 
 when I explained that he had been the dupe of the power 
 of a ventriloquist. 
 
326 
 
 THE SECRET REVEALED. 
 
 " "Well, well— is it possible ! " he replied. " It is a 
 great art, capable of tuming a man's brain. How is it 
 done?" 
 
 "By knowledge of tone and modulation of the voice." 
 
 " You must be a perfect master of it, for you completely 
 embarrassed me." 
 
 Here Joe notified us that the Island was in sight. We 
 soon arrived there, and found a large fleet, of vessels at 
 anchor, whose flags, with one or two exceptions, repre- 
 sented every nation. The magnificent and romantic harbor, 
 and the beauty of the scene, can only be imagined by those 
 who have visited the spot. 
 
 Soon as it was possible, I landed with my luggage, and 
 pleasantly located myself in the best regulated, and most 
 •comfortable hotel in the tropics. 
 
CHAPTEE ZXIX. 
 
 CONTINtrATION AKD CLOSE OF MY TEOPICAL TOTTR. 
 
 'N my arrival at the Island of St. Thomas, I 
 found it to be a pleasant place, but confined 
 to a small geographical area. The inhabitants 
 were composed of Germans, Spaniards, Amer- 
 icans, English, French, and "West Indians, besides a 
 large nunaber of colored people. 
 
 The trade and commerce transacted here with 
 Europe and the United States, likewise with aU the 
 sister islands, was immense. The number of vessels 
 from all parts of the world, that daily arrived and left, was 
 wonderful. This traffic was owing in a great measure to the 
 port being free — ^the wisdom of which explains itself. 
 
 The isla,nd is seventeen miles in length, and four and a 
 half miles in breadth. The mountains are rough and 
 elevated, which occasionally decline gradually, but near the 
 shore are freq-uently very steep. Much inconvenience from 
 the want of an ample supply of water prevails ; and little 
 attention is given to the productions of the soil, which is 
 sandy and barren, the greater portion not being under cul- 
 tivation. The island formerly abounded with wood, that 
 protected it from the excessive heat. 
 
 My entertainments were held in the dining-hall of the 
 hotel, and attracted large audiences, who laughed, and be- 
 trayed their emotions and feelings in doubting their 
 
323 JAMAICA. 
 
 senses, and at times broke forth in the most excessive bursts 
 of merriment. Each day increased my celebrity; few 
 could understand the philosophy of my art, for my opera- 
 tions were not classified with the ordinary actions and 
 doings of man. Humors and speculations entered largely 
 into the imagination of the people. By some I was sup- 
 posed to be the king of a gypsy tribe, travelling in search 
 of new subjects to connect with my race ; by others I was 
 judged to have been a descendant of the master spirits who 
 practised their skill in ancient days ; for such impossibilities 
 as I seemed to perform, they imagined demonstrated the 
 truth of their opinions. 
 
 Reports of my movements and actions were constantly 
 given, which old and young, in their simplicity and excite- 
 ment, believed, from the effect of what they themselves had 
 seen, and witnessedi^ 
 
 Jamaica. 
 
 After the close of a prosperous engagemenf, I proceeded 
 by the English mail steamer for Jamaica. The establish- 
 ment of this line of vessels has been invaluable in every 
 degree to the inhabitants of the tropics. Not unlike rail- 
 roads, they have afforded facilities of equal importance — 
 annihilated time and space, connected as they are with the 
 whole group of islands by branch lines extending to all the 
 principal seaports in the Grulf of Mexico. The approach to 
 Jamaica is very beautiful. The elevation and grandeur of 
 the mountains, whose peaks are almost invisible by the 
 misty drapery that surrounds them, is romantic and glori- 
 ously magnificent. 
 
 Port Eoyal harbor, which we enter, is guarded by forts 
 of powerful construction ; its navigation is difficult and pre- 
 carious, requiring much judgment, which is overcome by 
 the masterly efficiency of the colored pilots. 
 
EFFECTS OF SJjAVEST. 329 
 
 Kingston, 
 
 The largest city of all the British "West India Islands, is 
 built upon a sandy soil, with streets of fair pretentions. 
 The houses in general, are erected with convenience and 
 comfort, those of the wealthy especially so ; but since the 
 decline of the prosperity of their owners, have become mag- 
 nificent ruins. 
 
 The public buildings are not remarkable for their im- 
 portance or special character, either in appearance or struc- 
 ture. 
 
 Jamaica excels all the other islands, not from any par- 
 ticular superiority, but on account of the magnitude and 
 variety of its productions, natural advantages and scenery, 
 combining in the general productions all the excellences 
 foimd beneath a tropical sky. Yet, with aU its resources 
 and advantages, the greater portion of the land is still in 
 its normal state, which, in a measure, is attributable to the 
 scarcity of labor to improve it ; but a far more notable im- 
 pediment is the lamentably inactive, unenergetic character of 
 all classes, who, notwithstanding many disadvantages, have 
 had abundant opportunities of improving their condition. 
 Why is this prevailing feature so prominently observable in 
 every island, with the exception of Barbadoes, where the 
 population is dense ? Is it a want of sensibUity, or the 
 enfeebling habits that arise from habitual indolence, or an 
 indifference to the great blessings that arise from intelligence, 
 labor, and an activ.e life ? 
 
 The paramount obstacle is doubtless the general char- 
 acter of the climate, and its depressing influences upon the 
 system, together with the evil effects arising from the insti- 
 tution of slavery, the radical errors of which are permanently 
 engrafted upon the masses, and which time and education. 
 
330 A DIABOLICAL CSAJtAOTEB. 
 
 combined with good laws and a correct estimation of in- 
 dustry, can alone change. 
 
 My arrival was hailed with general satisfaction, and an 
 anxious desire to witness my performances. For this pur- 
 pose I engaged the theatre, which was nightly filled with 
 all classes, who were astonished and elated beyond descrip- 
 tion. My notability increased to a remarkable extent, for 
 the scenes were never before so emphatically bewildering. 
 The oldest inhabitants had not witnessed during their lives 
 such manifestations, which, if not absolute miracles, were 
 not less so in mystei^y^ ; neither had the hearing ever been 
 charmed by such a variety of tones, emanating from one 
 voice. Gray heads and youthful faces looked upon me with 
 fear and trembling, mingled with curiosity, and at times 
 provoking me to exercise my profession on those they were 
 hostile to, or tantalizing some well-known wag. whose local 
 pranks were an annoyance to their quiet propensities. 
 
 The whole community became inquirers as to my rela- 
 tionship with " the great master of sin," from whom many 
 believed I received all- my knowledge ; and not less perplex- 
 ing was the natural disposition I assumed, for I laughed and 
 talked like other people, and even conducted myself as one 
 free from all pretentions, so that in some measure my virtues 
 counterbalanced my evil doings. But this view was eon- 
 fined only to a limited number of the thinking class. The 
 majority, however, were less liberal in their opinions, for 
 they considered me as, one to be avoided, and much of this 
 feeling arose from the diabolical spells it was said I had 
 invoked and inflicted upon the inhabitants since I had made 
 my appearance, and a multitude of absurd stories did not fail 
 to excite the imagination and develop their superstitions. 
 
 These pecuKarities sadly demonstrate how inferior intel- 
 lects can be imposed upon, and the evil effects possible to 
 result from their convictions ; for of such instances the his- 
 
A BAUNTEJ) SOaSE. 331 
 
 tory of the world has an abundance of unfortnnate proofs. 
 Those that we read of in the Dark and Middle Ages, we can 
 generously afford to pardon, but now, since Christianity, 
 science, and learning are universally disseminated, we feel 
 deprived of that sympathy, and express our feelings of pity 
 and disgust. 
 
 h Haunted House. 
 
 In one of the principal streets was an untenanted house, 
 from which, at divers times, day and night, were heard issuing 
 the most unnatural and distressing noises, so that the prem- 
 ises had, far and near, acquired the character of being 
 haunted, which the people declared had, under my direc- 
 tion, become a rendezvous for all heaven's rejected spirits, 
 that revelled therein at midnight. 
 
 Sober minds smiled, as I did myself, at the inventive 
 source that connected me with such imaginative acts of 
 wantonness, but neither their denial or mine could convince 
 to the contrary ; so I determined \ofavrVy deserve the credit 
 so profusely bestowed upon me. 
 
 One afternoon I procured the keys, and in company with 
 a few speculative friends, and some who doubted my inno- 
 cence, directed our steps toward the house mentioned. 
 
 The moment we entered the door, great commotion was 
 heard in all parts of the building, similar to a number of 
 people endeavoring to escape discovery. 
 
 " HaUo ! " I shouted, "here is a company called to make 
 your acquaintance." 
 
 " We have no desire for acquaintance with our enemies." 
 
 "Why not?" 
 
 " Because our hearts warm for kindred spirits, whose 
 delight is in the midst of a bewildered atmosphere, where 
 dreamers reign." 
 
 " Are there any here ? " 
 
332 A PABTY OF COWAMDS. 
 
 " Several ; but we do not wish to be disturbed in our 
 duties," replied a deep, hollow voice. 
 " What are they ? " was asked. 
 
 " We want the blood of wicked men, ^ 
 
 To light the lamp of our gloomy den ; 
 Where skulls and bones are scattered around, ^ 
 
 In our home beneath the silent ground." , 
 
 The whole party now exhibited an earnest desire to 
 leave. 
 
 " I am going," said one ; and " I feel afraid to remain," 
 observed another ; " Let us all immediately depart," said a 
 third; "We shall aU be murdered," uttered the fourth, 
 trembling with fear and emotion. 
 
 " You had better leave, and save your lives, before we 
 come down," spoke a most unearthly voice. 
 
 I now proposed that we should all go up and attack 
 the imps ! 
 
 A spontaneous reply of "No! no!" proceeded from 
 every mouth. 
 
 " We knew you were cowards," muttered the disagree- 
 able spirits. 
 
 I again urged my friends to ascend the stairs with me, 
 but I entreated in vain. I then announced my intention of 
 proceeding alone. 
 
 " We shall not permit you to risk your life," responded 
 the gentlemen. 
 
 "I am bound to face these embodiments of Satan!" I 
 replied, and darted up to the next story with lightning 
 speed, followed a step or two by my frightened friends, 
 whose desire to prevent my sacrificing myself I firmly be- 
 lieve was sincere ; but after a second thought they retreated. 
 When I reached the floor above, I produced a tumultuous 
 uproar of voices, stamping, fighting, and every species of 
 
GREAT BATTLE WITS HOBGOBLINS. 333 
 
 noise, — I seemingly contending with a tost of invisibles, — 
 which gradually ceased, and quiet was restored. 
 
 Thus victorious, I descended and found myself alone, 
 for those I left had hastily fled to the street, where they 
 impatiently awaited the result of my boildness, and when 
 they beheld me free from injury, without a solitary scratch, 
 they were more than amazed, and congratulated me upon 
 the courage I had displayed. Their inquiries as to who I met 
 or came in contact with were so numerous, that I was wearied 
 with giving my experience. 
 
 They all agreed that the authorities should bum the 
 house, and thus relieve the city from the carnivals of hob- 
 goblins and their attendants. 
 
 " You are a superstitious people," I answered. "Why, 
 there are no such creatures in existence. The uncouth 
 sounds, noises, and battles, said to have taken place are 
 all fictitious, mere inventions of the imagination ; for on our 
 visit Zwas the only evil one present, and I hope my ven- 
 triloquial powers gave you a satisfactory evidence of its 
 being a fact." 
 
 My companions looked at each other with a singular 
 feeling of ignorance and shame, admitted how httle they 
 knew of this world and its wonders, and the folly of their 
 presuming to discuss their knowledge of the mysteries that 
 shadow the fature. 
 
 ■ I was subsequently invited to an entertainment, where 
 mirth prevailed to an unusual extent, at the expense of the 
 haunted house. 
 
 The Singing and Talking M.ule. 
 
 Observing a dingy African standing in charge of a mule 
 and cart, I inquired if the mule was for sale. 
 "No, sir," the man replied. 
 " I regret it, for he is just such an one as I want." 
 
'334 TSE SIN&INO MULE. 
 
 "Missis wouldn't sell him for de world." 
 
 "Why not?" 
 
 "Bekase-him belonged to massa, who am dead. Ton 
 can find plenty of 'em." 
 
 " Tes, I know that myself; but I cannot find a smgmg 
 one." 
 
 " Dis mule don't slug." 
 
 " Tes, I do," said the mule, shaking his head. 
 
 The man's eyes looked wild at this announcement, and 
 he screamed, — 
 
 " Dick, is de debil in you ? " 
 
 " I knew he was a siuger." 
 
 " Well, I neber heard him talk before now ; I think it's 
 funny." 
 
 " I suppose he knows you are not musical." 
 
 " Exactly — ^he has no soul for it," said the animal. 
 
 " Grolly, Dick ! I am frightened to hear your tongue wag 
 so. Are you turning into a man ? " 
 
 " That's just what I have done ; " and the mule com- 
 menced singing as follows — 
 
 " Long time I've been a drudging mule, 
 I am now no longer such a fool." 
 
 The negro shuddered with fear, rolling the whites of 
 his eyes with rapidity, and stammering — 
 
 "Why, dis be very curious." 
 
 " It is true, Tom — I am a beast no more. I shall never 
 go into the stable again and eat corn." 
 
 " Then you'll die," said Tom. 
 
 " No ; rU live on beefsteak and the fat of the land." 
 
 " Come Dick, you are bewitched, and I tink we had 
 better go home," said Tom. 
 
 " I have no home, no family dear. 
 No heart to love, no one to cheer." 
 
OBSTINATE DICK. 335 
 
 " Why, you sing as good as a bird. "Wlio was your mas- 
 ter?" 
 
 " The Spirit of the Mountain. Shall I send him to 
 you?" 
 
 "No, I don't want his acquaintance. Let's go to the 
 plantation, Dick." 
 
 " I am not going." 
 
 " It takes two to make a bargain, Dick." 
 
 Here the negro caught hold of the bridle, when the 
 beast said, — 
 
 " Tom, drop that ; I'll not move a foot." 
 
 " Tou am a stubborn creature." 
 
 " All my fcmdhf are ! " 
 
 Tom appealed in vain, but the mule insisted to the con- 
 trary. The crowd had now largely increased, and were 
 much edified by the scene, which terminated in Tom's con- 
 quering and driving up the street at the utmost speed, firm 
 in his conviction that Dick would make his " missis " lots 
 of money, for it was the only mule he had ever heard sing 
 and talk. 
 
 Such incidents were not, probably, calculated to correct 
 the sentiments prevailing in regard to my affinity with mid- 
 night genii and their host of dependents ; yet, to compre- 
 hensive and educated minds, especially those possessed of 
 worldly knowledge, they were not only amusing features, 
 but acceptable for their meritorious perfection ; while, to un- 
 told numbers, encouraged by their fanatical and natural in- 
 clination to believe- in incredible facts, it tended to increase 
 their faith the more. 
 
 After visiting Spanishtown, the seat of government, and 
 enjoying a pleasant residence on the island, I bade fereweU 
 to many friends, whose hospitality and general indulgences 
 are most gratefully remembered. 
 
336 appearance of demabara and georgetown. 
 
 Demarara. 
 
 I embarked for Demarara,, Britisli Guiana, by steamer, 
 the approach to which presents nothing pleasing or encour- 
 aging. The flat surface of the soil, as you pass up the 
 river, is not broken by a single object far as the eye can 
 reach. The only extraordinary feature is the total absence 
 of moimtains, rocks, woods, and hills. ]S^ot a tree-top, 
 church spire, or a commanding building could be recog- 
 nized, and the law and uninteresting appearance of the 
 land is a matter of uncommon surprise. The most singular 
 attraction is the' sudden discoloration of the water immedi- 
 ately after leaving the ocean to enter the harbor. 
 
 Georgetown. 
 
 The capital has the appearance and character of a Dutch 
 settleinent. The houses are capacious, and erected upon piles, 
 to reach which it is necessary tp pass over canals or drains. 
 The streets, in many instances, are spacious, and the public 
 edifices erected with taste and elegance. It was evident 
 that a general understanding prevailed on the part of the 
 inhabitants to ignore antiquated styles of buildings for those 
 more modem, with valuable improvements and sources of 
 comfort, to the extent of their means. The country in the 
 immediate neighborhood is extremely low, and to reach the 
 grander portions, it is necessary to traverse some distance 
 into the interior, where plains of great magnitude, and ele- 
 vated spots, betray pleasant and agreeable views. 
 
 It would be impossible to describe the satisfaction and 
 applause with which my entertainments were received, or 
 the considerations and reflections of the gay and thought- 
 fill ; the former acknowledged my acquirements with grace- 
 ful compliments and unsurpassed patronage, while the latter 
 were captious and less sanguine as to my merits and claims 
 
A GENERAL TOPIC OF COirTEBSATION. 337 
 
 upon society. It was a matter of discussion with them 
 how far I was deserving of their friendly salutation, by 
 what process I became intimate with the character of my 
 doings, for they eagerly believed in what they did not see, 
 and the exaggerated accounts they heard enhanced this feel- 
 ing, so that I became the general topic of conversation 
 during my stay, which was frequently accompanied by the 
 most unwarrantable faith in my achievements and depend- 
 encies on the powers below. They xmhesitatingly asserted 
 my name was recorded in the black book, for no one of 
 Christian virtue was ever known to exercise such evidence 
 of gifted traits. Dame rumor charged me with provoking 
 an increase of sickness, imusual annoyance from insects, 
 while fragments of broken pastels filled the air. Disa- 
 greeable as these accounts were, I pursued my career with 
 more than my accustomed ardor. Experience had by this 
 time removed all sensibility of feeling pertaining to such 
 intolerant fancies. Sceptics and fanatics have flourished in 
 every clime where the mind is imperfectly balanced, or ed- 
 ucation is neglected. 
 
 My out-door feats procured me great popularity, for 
 whenever a suitable opportunity presented itself, I did not 
 fail to make use of my dexterity of hand and ventriloquial 
 powers, which were generally of a momentary creation. 
 The intense interest and pleasure my roguery would supply 
 to the gazing crowd, was alone a compensation ; but this 
 modics operandi invariably resulted to my pecuniary bene- 
 fit, by the numbers who patronized my appointed soirees at 
 the haU. 
 
 The Prolific Eggs. 
 
 Early one morning I visited the market, by far the most 
 neat and commodious one I had seen during my travels in 
 the tropics. A clean and orderly air prevailed in all its ar- 
 15 
 
338 TSE VNHATCasn CSICKENS. 
 
 rangements. The -women were neatly attired in light mus- 
 Hn dresses, and their heads decorated with &nciful cotton 
 handkerchiefs, while the men were not less particular in 
 their appearance. I came to a dealer in eggs, and inquired 
 the price per dozen. 
 
 " One shiUing." 
 
 "Are they fresh?" I asked. 
 
 " Dem laid dis morning." 
 
 " How do you know ? " 
 
 "De hens cackle when de sun rise, and den me get 
 urn." 
 
 " Then there are no chickens in these ? " 
 
 " No ; no chicks in dese." 
 
 "Are you sure of that?" 
 
 "Why, yes; what make you think dere any?" 
 
 " Because I ate some yesterday which contained several, 
 and they are alive in me now, for I feel them." 
 
 Here a number chirped,, and the woman shrank back 
 with terror, saying, — 
 
 " Why, bless you, massa ! I think they kill you. Ain't 
 you sick ? " 
 
 "Tes, they trouble me a great deal," — the chickens 
 making themselves heard again, and the woman evincing 
 her previous alarm. 
 
 " I think I'U take one of yours, and try it," said I, 
 when, taking one in my hand, a soimd proceeded from it, 
 which produced additional fear. 
 
 " Well, dere is one in dat, I am sure ; " and she com- 
 menced turning over the eggs in her basket, when a whole 
 brood of chickens greeted her curiosity, by a vigorous chirp- 
 ing, and she declared they were warm, and refused to part 
 with a single one, as she intended to take them home and 
 put them under the hen, which would. pay her better. Of 
 couree, the different market people who had gathered around 
 
THU NONPLUSSED MERCSANT. 339 
 
 were greatly astonished, for their imagiiiations eould not 
 solve the phenomenon ; but a policeman who had been on 
 duty at my hall the previous evening, being now a looker- 
 on, relieved their anxiety by making known to them that I 
 was Blitz, the ventriloquist — a queer fellow. 
 
 A Merchant Nonplussed, 
 
 In life we encounter every phase in the human charac- 
 ter. Mankind are far from being alike gracious in their 
 demeanor. Some are more difficult to please than others. 
 Many are over suspicious and conscientious. They believe 
 in no merit or righteousness but their own. To them the 
 sun is seldom bright or warm, the flowers sweet or lovely, 
 and nothing in nature is cheerful or pleasant. Such 
 seldom or never contribute a smile or a joy to a single 
 heart, however great may be its affliction. They live for 
 their own sake, and their opinions are at war with every 
 plan or principle that -affords happiness to society. 
 
 There is a large class of such people in the world, one 
 of whom it was my misfortune frequently to meet here. 
 He was a merchant of good standing, but unpopular in his 
 social intercourse, by reason of his parsimonious habits. I 
 endured his waspish obstinacy and garrulous disposition 
 without betraying the slightest degree of anger, believing 
 it wiser to repay him in a manner that would render him 
 ridiculous in the eyes of his friends, than by any rebuke or 
 altercation, thus waiving all considerations in reference to 
 my own personal feelings. The occasion was afforded me 
 at the residence of a wealthy gentleman, where a large as- 
 sembly had gathered, by invitation, to partake of and en- 
 joy his munificent liberality. Luxuries were mmierous be- 
 yond relation, being the products of all climes, independent 
 of cost. The richness of the exotics, their perfume, the 
 fruits and delicacies, the substantials, the variety and rare- 
 
340 AXr AWFUL PREDICAMENT. 
 
 ness of the Wines, the decorations, the valuable qualities of 
 the plate and china, the splendid dresses of the ladies, their 
 sparkling gems and animated countenances, radiant with 
 health and beauty, rendered the event a most brilliant and 
 interesting one. 
 
 The guests were constantly grouping around me, in the 
 hope and expectation that I would amuse them with some 
 experiments. Most eager among them was the individual I 
 have alluded to. Without hesitation I consented, and com- 
 menced operations by causing the disappearance of handker- 
 chiefs, rings, and gloves, and the producing of an inexhausti- 
 ble supply of bouquets, which were presented to the ladies. 
 The eyes of all looked electrified, especially those of the mer- 
 chant, who, after endeavoring to account for what he him- 
 self and others had seen, remarked it was a happy faculty — 
 the obtaining the growth of flowers without owning a foot 
 of land. Why did I not supply fruit in like manner ? 
 
 "Are you fond of it?" I asked. 
 
 " Yes, I live upon it," he answered. 
 
 "That, then, will account for the quantities in your 
 pocket." 
 
 "In mine?" 
 
 "Yes, sir." 
 
 " You have made a mistake." 
 
 " Oh ! . no ; I'll take them out, if you will aUow me." 
 
 " With all my heart, sir." 
 
 He turned his body partially around, while my hand 
 entered his pocket, and withdrew bananas, oranges, and 
 other fruits, one after another, not only to his consterna- 
 tion, but to the great merriment and glee of his acquain- 
 tances. 
 
 "Well, you assisted yourself liberally to-night," I said. 
 
 "]Sro, sir! I never carry things away ! " he indignantly 
 answered. 
 
TMH DRXmKAJRD. 341 
 
 " But facts show for themselves," I retorted ; " and here 
 is a quantity more of things ! " — taking from his neck ham 
 sandwiches and grapes. 
 
 He appeared confiised and ashamed at what had taken 
 place, and, lifting his hands, protested he was not guilty 
 of stealing, and by what magic means they came about 
 him, his philosophy could not fathom. This, however, did 
 not subdue the taunts and laughter he was subjected to, 
 or prevent my realizing fuU satisfaction. 
 
 h pRUNKARD Saved. 
 
 Perhaps one of the most agreeable and happy incidents 
 of my Kfe occurred in this city. 
 
 A friend whose hospitality knew no bounds, and whose 
 nature was most social and genial, became daily more and 
 more addicted to intemperance. He was the husband of a 
 lovely and intellectual wife, and father of three sweet chil- 
 dren. His convivial habits naturally gave great concern to 
 his friends, and especially so to her whose heart and love he 
 had secured. The demon of liquor betrayed its destroying 
 hand upon his constitution, to the appalling horror and un- 
 mitigating agony of her whose affection was imceasing as 
 her hopes. 
 
 My intimacy with both was of the most cordial charac- 
 ter. Observing his inclination for indulging to excess, and 
 deeply sympathizing with his wife and family, at the same 
 time lamenting that a mind so brilliant, with aU the ac- 
 complishments and refinements of a gentleman, should be- 
 come a prey to such sad influences — a most melancholy 
 example of a noble intellect lost to family ties and the world 
 — ^I considered it my imperative duty, if I possessed the 
 power — which I believed I did — to rescue him from the 
 dark pit to wliich he was approaching, and revive in him a 
 conscious reflection of his own suffering, the evils and sor 
 
342 Tffl! WAEmNQ VOICE. 
 
 rows entailed upon his relatives, and tlie immoral effect 
 upon society. 
 
 Without communicating my plans to any one, the day 
 following my decision, I invited him to a quiet dinner with 
 me, which he readily accepted. In the meantime, I pre- 
 pared an ample supply of liquors, consisting of wines, 
 -brandy, porter, and ale. We took our seats at the table, 
 and, soon as courtesy permitted, I invited him to take a 
 glass of wine. " Here is sherry, madeira, and champagne ; 
 which is your choice?" 
 
 " Champagne," he replied. 
 
 A Portuguese waiter fiUed our glasses." My guest saluted 
 me, and placed the wine to his lips, when a deep voice, as if 
 coming from his glass, warned him not to drink. My fiiend 
 seemed agitated, as he looked me in the face, inquiring who 
 addressed him. 
 
 " That was singular. Did you taste ?" I responded. 
 
 " No, but I will," raising his glass. 
 
 " Stop ! It's poison ! " a solemn voice; exclaimed. 
 
 He betrayed an unconxfortable feeling, and gazed around 
 the room for intruders, observing, — 
 
 "Why, this is a mysteigr, is it .not?" 
 
 " It is a guardian spirit, with a warning, I believe." 
 
 " Do you think so ? " he asked. 
 
 " I do, and would accept the advice." 
 
 " But suppose we try sherry ? " 
 
 " With pleasure." 
 
 The waiter poured the wine, and each took a glass in 
 hand to drink, when a grave voice again commanded him 
 to beware ! My visitor put his glass down again, and arose 
 from his chair, lifting the table cover, which in a moment 
 he dropped, evincing great disappointment and vexation, 
 pronouncing it some incarnate imp, who desired to disturb 
 our pleasure. 
 
TMB OOOD BBSOLITTION. 343 
 
 " Perhaps they have a good object in view," I remarked. 
 
 " What ! in preventing my drinking ? " 
 
 " That is my hope," spoke the invisible one. 
 
 "Who are you that ma,de those unearthly-sounds?" he 
 inquired. 
 
 " A friend that wishes to save you from a drunkard's 
 grave," uttered the warning voice. 
 
 He decided to test the phenomenon by swallowing the 
 wine in the glass, as his appetite was strong, but had scarcely 
 taken the glass up for that purpose, when the same voice 
 solemnly insisted on his not drinking it. 
 
 He had not the courage to drink it, but again put it 
 down, demanding the voice to appear and prove its iden- 
 tity. 
 
 " It is forbidden. I come to plead for your wife and 
 children, your family, your reputation ; that joy and happi- 
 ness may replace misery and bitterness." 
 
 " Excellent monitor ! " said I. 
 
 After a slight hesitation, he broke forth with the follow- 
 ing declaration, — 
 
 " Signor, there is something so singular in this circum- 
 stance that I am induced to give it attention. I shall for- 
 ever abandon all liquor. I am resolved. Eemember what 
 I say." 
 
 " Bravo ! bravo ! " loudly echoed the unknown coun- 
 sellor. 
 
 " What a fortunate affair this has proved ! " I exclaimed. 
 
 We sat and chatted over the unaccountable episode until 
 late at night, when the new disciple of temperance retired 
 to his home, and singular to say, his sleep was one contin- 
 uous dream of a home of pleasure, an affectionate family, a 
 sober and respectable life, excepting for a moment, when 
 he saw, as through a veil, the drunkard's family — his care- 
 her starving, squalid, ragged children — marks 
 
344 TO NEW YORK, VIA ST. TffOMAS. 
 
 of desolation and final ruin. This and more he told me the 
 next morning. 
 
 How greatly I have rejoiced that I succeeded in my 
 wishes none can imagine, for I am informed and believe 
 that my friend has never violated his promise and resolution, 
 and for more than twenty years I am assured he has been 
 a devoted and consistent champion of temperance, and to 
 this day knows not to whom to attribute his happy escape 
 from degradation and the thraldom of liquor. 
 
 After a successful season, I visited several plantations, 
 the proprietors of which were gentlemen of marked charac- 
 ter and noble impulses, unfailing in their efforts to render 
 my stay pleasant and agreeable. The sweet air, fragrant 
 and perfumed, and nature sparkling all around with anima- 
 tion and luxury, increased the pleasure I realized, and my 
 departure from which was a deep regret ; but necessity, tlio 
 harbinger of a wanderer's fate, so decreed it. The. third day 
 after my return to the town, I embraced the opportunity of 
 leaving for New York, via St. Thomas, parting from many 
 warm hearts and sunny smiles, with a sincere regard and 
 interest for their future. 
 
CHAPTEE XXX. 
 
 mCJIDENTS IN CTTBA. 
 
 N reaching St. Thomas, I received the pleasant 
 greetings of my friends, and their unabated 
 hospitality, until I sailed for the American 
 metropolis, where I safely arrived, and passed 
 the summer and a portion of the winter months 
 in pleasant retirement with my family, whose care and 
 education were to me of momentous importance. This 
 education, though, was in a degree dependent upon the nat- 
 ural talent and ambition of the children themselves, yet 
 they required, as all youthful minds do, paternal advice,- 
 domestic instruction, and home training, which duty I never 
 under any circumstances failed to discharge. My whole at- 
 tention was thus occupied with these and other matters up 
 to the time of my leaving for Cuba. 
 
 I will not undertake to depict the sorrow occasioned by 
 a separation from home and its endearments; how fond 
 hearts are distressed, and dread to utter what they feel and 
 fear. It is a picture common to every-day life, which nearly 
 every one has experienced, and if any have escaped the 
 scene, they know not what a test of pure love is mingled ia 
 the pain, or the cheering compensation it gives to every 
 forward footstep ; for there arises a sweet halo, an inspira- 
 tion, above all earthly value — that which riches are unable 
 to procure ; it is the satisfying consciousness that yoii are 
 beloved at, and missed from, home. 
 
346 POLITENESS IN PUBLIC CONVEYANCES. 
 
 I Had engaged passage on the " Christoplier ColTimbus," 
 a regular packet ship running between the cities of I^ew 
 York and Havana. Her figure-head was a majestic bust of 
 the immortal discoverer of the New World, elaborately 
 carved, painted, and gilded. The large number of passen- 
 gers were composed. of Americans, Spaniards, French, Eng- 
 lish, Germans, and Italians, who far exceeded the accom- 
 modations. Many were obliged to sleep on temporary beds 
 in the cabin, and take their meals as opportunity might af- 
 ford; but notwithstanding the abundance of inconveniencies, 
 there were no complaints or ill-humor, but a general mani- 
 festation to divide all the comforts, and render each other 
 comfortable as possible. 
 
 I resigned my berth in favor of an elderly Spanish gen- 
 tleman who was sick, and accompanied by his daughter. 
 His Castilian pride and politeness refused to deprive me of 
 what I had contracted for, but I explained that he was ad- 
 vanced in years, while I was young and healthy, and better 
 able to dispense with the luxury. " Very well, sir, I accept, 
 and ever shall esteem you my friend," he replied, which 
 he truly proved. 
 
 There was no paucity, of life or character, for the voyage 
 was such an one as might be expected from a collection of 
 unselfish, yielding spirits, aU hilarity and good-will. ISTight 
 and day passed away without any apparent reserve or self- 
 ishness being exhibited, so that when the time arrived to 
 separate, it impressed the fact upon my mind that any 
 amount of annoyances can be overlooked, where the oblig- 
 ing traits of our nature develop themselves. 
 
 The King Pig. 
 
 I must not fail to give an account of an event which 
 created no little commotion for the time, f(311owed by a tlieine 
 for mirth and wonder. Late one night a pig (several of 
 
THE Pia IN THE CABIN. 347 
 
 which were on board), escaped from his pent-up abode and 
 entered the cabin, where all was calm and quiet, in search 
 of something to eat ; but after reconnoitring and failing in 
 his search, commenced squeahng to the extent of his powers, 
 which in a moment produced a scene not often witnessed on 
 the sea. 
 
 State-room doors were thrown open, and the inmates 
 stood looking, in their white robes, like ghosts, and the 
 occupants of the cabin were on their feet, equally as odd in 
 their drapery. 
 
 "Where ish de hanimal?" uttered a phlegmatic Ger- 
 man. 
 
 A grunt answered, which occasioned the inquirer to re- 
 treat backward, amid much laughter. 
 
 " Dunder and blitzen ! it ish under my ped ! " 
 
 Here a general crowding commenced toward the spot, 
 to secure the intruder, who, either defiantly or from alarm, 
 grunted and squealed his best, which soon brought the cap- 
 tain down from the deck to learn what caused the excite- 
 ment. 
 
 "A pig is in the cabin ! " several exclaimed. 
 
 " If that's so, let us drive the rascal out." 
 
 By this time the steward and his assistants, who had 
 been awakened by the excitement, made their appearance, 
 when all present began to hunt for the pig. 
 
 The German laid flat upon his face, with his eyes and 
 hands stretched in every direction. 
 
 At one moment piggie squealed here, and the next there, 
 the hunters changing their positions accordingly. 
 
 " He is a devil of a pig ! " broke forth mynheer. 
 
 " Vat you expect, sa^-, from one swine ? " said a French- 
 man. 
 
 Piggie grunted. 
 
 " Ha ! ha ! he understand ze language ! " 
 
348 THE TITLE OF "KING PIG" 
 
 The captain called tlie steward to know if he had seen 
 him. He answered, — 
 
 " No, sir ; I have looked in aU directions — he must have 
 gone out." 
 
 But the pig denied this statement by grunting in one of 
 the etate-rooms. 
 
 Every one made a rapid movement toward the spot; 
 the captain entered first, with a pleasant smile, confident 
 of success ; but he was sadly disappointed. After looking 
 and feeling beyond all doubt, he came out, exclaiming, — 
 
 " This puzzles my brain ! " 
 
 Others were equally chagrined, for their efibrts were not 
 less fruitless. 
 
 I thought it time to own my complicity and roguery in 
 the matter, and allow those I had so wilfully disturbed to 
 enjoy the balance of the night in rest and peace. 
 
 Gradually all retired, but not without a peculiar dread 
 of master piggie's reappearance. This feeling was height- 
 ened by the squealing which continued long afterward, and 
 by degrees was lost in the deep waters. 
 
 The affair was a continued matter of discussion and 
 speculation. The captain insisted that it was a general 
 dream, until the day preceding our arrival, when a fuU- 
 baked member of the pig family, that was placed before him 
 for carving, commenced to grunt and squeal in the same 
 manner as his midnight friend had indulged in. 
 
 "Where is the man-pig?" cried the captain. 
 
 I arose from the table and acknowledged the compli- 
 ment. 
 
 " You have cheated us grandly," he continued. " Now 
 give us a first-class imitation of a live pig, and let us see 
 how you do it, and we will forgive you for our nocturnal 
 adventure." 
 
 This I did, and I believe it gave a good relish to the 
 
SAVAIfA. 349 
 
 meal, for the hearty laughter must have greatly assisted 
 digestion, while I secured the title of " King Pig ! " 
 
 Mavana. 
 
 The harbor, a fine one, presents an admirable view of the 
 Moro Castle and other forts. The various buildings, from 
 their promiaent position and novel style, are quite im- 
 posing. 
 
 The large fleet of shipping, with their national colors 
 flying, enlivens the appearance and increases the general 
 interest. 
 
 The boats of the officials and those for the accommoda- 
 tion of the visitors that collect around the steamer, impart 
 a momentary excitement, particularly as every one is anx- 
 ious to leave for the shore. 
 
 One of the first inconveniences encountered is ia re- 
 gard to the baggage, wjiich can pass an examination only at 
 the Custom-house. This is frequently a tedious and annoy- 
 ing process, and the only course to ensure despatch is the 
 free use of gold, which never fails to obtain promptness, 
 with an excess of politeness. But the greatest inconveni- 
 ence passengers have to contend with is the passport sys- 
 tem. The general submission with which governments 
 allow their subjects to be taxed for arriving at and depart- 
 ing from the island, independent of the imposition for land 
 permits and the vexation attending them, is equally cul- 
 pable and ungenerous, and betrays how little is the care and 
 protection they afford. 
 
 It is not necessary or desirable to discuss the national 
 right of Spain to regulate her internal affairs and those of 
 her dependencies, or to enforce a law so obnoxious by ex- 
 acting such sums from travellers, but it is not a policy in 
 accordance with the spirit of reform which nations are al- 
 most everywhere exhibiting. If the Spanish government 
 
350 BIGSTS AND PRIVILEGES OF TBAVELLEBS. 
 
 enforces the law from necessity and as a political safeguard, ' 
 it is an evidence of a want of confidence in its own stability, 
 and marks how corrupt must be the principles upon which 
 it is based. "Why should every stranger be considered with 
 suspicion, as a revolutionist and political adventurer ? My 
 own convictions are that the mercenary laws of Spain, made 
 for the purpose of obtaining means for its support, knows 
 no bounds,, recognises no principles of justice or honor, and 
 therefore it is the necessary and paramount duty of all gov- 
 ernments, and especially so of our own, to remonstrate and 
 demand the entire abolishment of taxation, and remove the 
 impediments upon the temporary movements of their peo- 
 ple. 
 
 The period has passed for the maintenance of laws so 
 extreme and insulting. We find a better and even a more 
 equitable vein of men's privileges prevailing in our inter- 
 course with the Chinese or Japanese nations, who, with their 
 alleged barbarisms, do not deign to tax the ingress of those 
 who visit their countries. Surely Spain will not consent to 
 be surpassed in the scale of liberality by those who have 
 but so recently countenanced and inaugurated so broad a 
 spirit of intelligence, and a desire to keep pace with the 
 tendencies of the age. 
 
 If Spain, after a proper and respectful demand to aban- 
 don her tariff upon the footsteps of every man and woman 
 who may enter her dominions, obstinately persists therein, 
 claiming it as her legal right, then it becomes the duty of 
 every government to peremptorily demand and insist upon 
 the removal of aU restrictions on personal travel; and should 
 Spain refuse to comply therewith, then should the govern- 
 ments enforce such compliance by such means as may be 
 necessary ; for it is infinitely more honorable than submit- 
 ting to a rule discreditable to the nineteenth century. 
 
 The splendor of the city, as it appears from the water, 
 
AFPEARANCM OF THE CITY. 351 
 
 disappears on entering it. The stranger is instantly aston- 
 ished at the absence of the more notable attractions. Noth- 
 ing meets the eye that is noble or grand ; the streets are 
 contracted and badly paved, with a general uncleanly 
 appearance. The houses are gloomy in their external 
 arrangements, but comfortable and adapted to the cli- 
 mate and style of living, which, with attention and enter- 
 prise, could be immensely improved. My expectations 
 were greatly disappointed in regard to the beauty and 
 grandeur of the place, as I was sanguine of finding much 
 more elegance than the reality proved. 
 
 There were no magnificent structures of art, no tasty 
 displays in their public and private buUdings, or the least 
 indication of modernizing to the current want of the times, 
 with the exception of the Plaza de Armes, a handsome 
 square, with finely-prepared walks, graced with several 
 fountains and choice exotics, which, in the evening, presents 
 a blaze of light. Near this resort is the government house, 
 and a large number of mansions belonging to the aristoc- 
 racy and those possessing large capital ; yet nothing reveals 
 itself that might be anticipated from its great wealth and 
 celebrity. 
 
 The universal feature, so remarkable in the habits and 
 proclivities of the tropical character, are no less developed 
 here than in those islands where slavery and wealth are ex- 
 tinct; for you will perceive all the associate evils that 
 linger around that gigantic institution, from whence their 
 riches are derived, without any qualifying preparation for 
 future wants. A brief residence in the city wiU strikingly 
 impress the peculiarities of the population upon the mind ; 
 for each and all seek the immediate gratification of their 
 desires — no matter how limited or profuse may be the 
 extent of their means. They never deny themselves a 
 wish, or pause to reflect upon consequences, so that the 
 
352 TBE GOVMSNOB-GENJEBAL. 
 
 poorest at times appear the gayest and most gorgeously 
 dressed. Indeed, there are no people that can surpass the 
 Cubans In pride and love of ostentation, for they are seen in 
 every movement, public or private. 
 
 In their business transactions they are more than punc- 
 tual and suspicious, so that frequently one detects a species 
 of meanness that almost destroys confidence in their integ- 
 rity. There is a strong and undoubted avaricious feeling in 
 their nature, for money never fails to exhibit itself in all 
 matters of trade. While we perceive a similar inclination 
 in the natural traits of mankind generally, there is nowhere 
 that quiet, artful attempt to disguise it from observation, as 
 is displayed in Cuba. There are invariably two or three 
 prices to an article, so that it requires some knowledge and 
 no little ability to purchase to advantage, even if familiar 
 with the language. This I learned from experience. Yet 
 there are, beyond doubt, numerous exceptions to what I 
 write ; but that a cunning and unflattering vein of their 
 own interest is signalized in all occupations of every-day 
 life, from the humblest trader to the wealthiest merchant, is 
 indisputable. 
 
 The Governor, or Captain-General of the island, pos- 
 sesses the supreme power to rule. He is an autocrat in the 
 true sense of the word — his judgment and verdict are abso- 
 lute. There is no appeal from his decision, except in a very 
 few peculiar cases which have to be carried to the " home 
 government" at Madrid, with only a faint hope of success, 
 unless the result is of more than special importance to Spain 
 or the islanders. 
 
 The highest officers, the rich, the poor, the good and bad, 
 the old and young, the innocent and guilty, are equally sub- 
 servient to his interpretation of right and wrong; a sad and 
 painful comment upon Spanish institutions. This almost 
 unlimited authority being invested in one man, it is cer- 
 
QUALIFICATIONS OF MULFBS. 353 
 
 tainly important and necessary for the gopd of the people, 
 that the ruler should be a person of rare genius and the 
 most exalted virtue and integrity — with the principles and 
 character of Washington — so as to serve his coimtry with a 
 fidelity of purpose, and add renown to the laws and the 
 government. 
 
 Hulers may be honest, and fulfil their responsibilities 
 with credit, and yet be of only ordinary capacity. It is the 
 heart and intellect combined, which works, remodels, and 
 presides for the amelioration of the masses. They should 
 remove the burdens and unjust laws of antiquated date, so 
 unsuitable for the present enlightened age, and substitute 
 patriots for despots, that all may feel happy and confident 
 in the paternal care of those who govern. This class of rulers,, 
 however, are not found in Cuba, where the administration 
 of justice is but an apology for what it signifies, as it is 
 vmiversally admitted that, fi-om the highest official to the 
 lowest, in all departments of the government, they are the 
 most corrupt persons known. The more, elevated the posi- 
 tion, the greater their peculations. It is a notorious truth 
 that many of the governors have returned to Spain, after 
 two or three years' residence on the island, with large 
 wealth, a great portion of which has been obtained from an 
 interest in, and conniving at, the landing of slaves, which 
 is in direct violation of the treaty for the suppression of the 
 abominable traffic, Spain being one of the contracting par- 
 ties, and bound to punish all who countenance or partici- 
 pate in its extension ; thus, through the whole ramification 
 of the laws, there is neither security or virtue. 
 
 Society is entirely controlled by the Gaptain-General. 
 He may be despotic or otherwise, as may be for his interest, 
 without a fixed principle for either course. Usually the exec- 
 utive character of the law is excessively procrastinating. The 
 Ohanceiy Court of England, at one time so famous for its 
 
354 UPBIGMT JUDGES NUEDBD. 
 
 lingering propensities, gave judgment with locomotive speed 
 compared to the long and tedious course pursued here, ex- 
 cepting in cases of treason and fermenting revolution, of 
 which disposition is made with despatch, as are some minor 
 cases, subject to fines, which are imposed and collected with 
 a nervous rapacity. Independent of these, there is nothing 
 decided in regard to the guilt and punishment of parties,^ 
 many of whom have been prisoners for years, unable to 
 procure a trial, on account of influences brought to bear, or 
 from personal aversion and indifference to their fate. 
 
 The prisons throughout the island are miserably ar- 
 ranged dens, crowded with people charged with every 
 known crime, promiscuously incarcerated, and who have no 
 possible expectation of their trial or hope of release. In my 
 visits to these establishments, I have seen and conversed 
 with gentlemanly-looking and well-dressed, intelligent men, 
 who informed me of the untiring and fruitless efforts of 
 themselves and friends to procure either a conviction or 
 declaration of their innocence; for in the event of the 
 former, their condition could not be any worse, and in the 
 event of the latter, they would be entitled to immediate 
 freedom, and could return, after their long absence, to home, 
 family, and friends. 
 
 These are unpleasant and startling revelations, but nev- 
 ertheless they are true ; and if the attention of the humane 
 could be attracted sufficiently to interest themselves in be- 
 half of a class so abused, or Spain could be inspired to re- 
 form her crimiaal code, and to appoint judges of high legal 
 knowledge and acumen, with the moral uprightness to de- 
 cide faithfully, at reasonable periods, it would be happy in- 
 deed for the fortunes of all living under that government- 
 One cannot but lament the harassing despondency 
 which the poor victims wf Cuban injustice, under the rule 
 
LAND AKD NAVAL FORCES. 355 
 
 of Spain, liave to endure. I must not omit to observe 
 that there is a civil court, at least one that has pretension 
 to this character ; but apart from the trifling eases intrusted 
 to the Alcaldes — ^local justices — the law is entirely dispensed 
 by the military commanders, who, iii a measure, are abso- 
 lute dictators. Of course, I do not charge them with a 
 wilful dereliction of their duty, but it is wrong, both in the- 
 ory and practice, to intrust them with such important re- 
 sponsibilities, the result of which must be, in almost every 
 instance, adverse to the privileges of the people, and in fa- 
 ■ vor of the government ; for no personal rights are so secure 
 as when the laws are administered by the civil courts, es- 
 pecially when the trial by jury is the palladium of every 
 man's right — a prerogative not permitted in Cuba. It is a 
 sorrowful sight to see Spain, strong in her proclivities for 
 ancient usages, remaining a passive observer of the wonder- 
 ful advance of civilization, and forgetting how importantly 
 her own interest and the happiness of her subjects are iden- 
 tified in this utilitarian era. 
 
 To convey some idea of the military establishment neces- 
 sary for the preservation of the island from internal dis- 
 order, and revolt from its allegiance, there was, according to 
 an ofiicial statement made some few years since, the follow- 
 ing number of troops : Sixteen regiments of infantry, of one 
 thousand men each; two companies of picked men, one 
 hundred and twenty-five in number; two regiments of 
 lancers, of four squadrons each, comprising six hundred and 
 two men and five hundred horses ; besides four light squad- 
 rons, each consisting of one hundred and fifty-one men and 
 one hundred and twenty-five horses; also a regiment of 
 foot, with eight batteries of artillery, a brigade of five bat- 
 teries, and a company of sappers and miners, together with 
 a large reserve of chiefs and other officials, making the 
 total number of the regular army as follows : Infantry, 
 
35G A GREAT CONTRAST. 
 
 17,500; cavalry, 1,800; artillery, 1,500; sappers and 
 miners, 130. Total, 20,.930. 
 
 This does not include the civil guard, which is also a 
 part of the forces. In addition to the above, there is on 
 the island one regiment of militia infantry, one of militia 
 disciplined, and one of militia cavalry, of seven hundred 
 and eighty-one horses ; also, eight rural squadrons of two 
 companies each, with one hundred horses. The Cuban 
 companies of cavalry also number seven hundred and forty 
 mounted men, making in all thirty-five hundred men, and 
 the complete land force, 24,438. 
 
 The naval force consisted of 1 frigate, 44 guns ; Y brig- 
 antines, 104 guns ; 11 steam vessels, 54 guns ; 4 schooners, 
 11 guns ; 2 gunboats, 6 guns ; 2 transports : in all, 25 ves- 
 sels, carrying 219 guns, manned by three thousand seamen. 
 At the same time there were in construction two war steam- 
 ers, for additional defence. But this immense military and 
 naval force has largely increased, the expense of raising 
 and supporting which is many more millions of dollars an- 
 nually. 
 
 This only shows how weak was the loyalty of the island- 
 ers toward the government of Spain, and proves that inde- 
 pendence or annexation to the United States would be 
 joyfully welcomed. This perpetually surrounding a people 
 with an extensive armament, and the taxation it imposes, 
 must daily enlarge the prevailing discontent. 
 
 The great difference between a despotic and a republi- 
 can government is remarkably illustrated : this island, hav- 
 ing a population of 1,018,060, out of which 510,988 were 
 white, 176,647 free colored, and 330,425 slaves, required a 
 force on land and water of 27,438 men, fully equipped for 
 war. This is startling compared with the government of the 
 United States, embracing a population of upward of forty 
 millions of inhabitants, and but recently emerged from a 
 
MORAL rOWEB OF A REPUBLIC. 357 
 
 civil war, the most bloody and desperate known in the an- 
 nals of ancient or modern times, with an acrimony of feel- 
 ing predominating in the rebellious States, not only between 
 political parties and the different races, but an imyielding 
 hostility to the laws of Congress, accompanied with fre- 
 quent demonstrations of cruel acts of bloodshed and mur- 
 der toward each other, with an area of country extending 
 from the Atlantic to the Pacific shores, with territories con- 
 taining several hundred thousands of Indians constantly 
 violating their treaties of peace, and encroaching upon the 
 rights of border settlers and the path of emigrants, destroy- 
 ing life and property, driving families from their homes, 
 and spreading fear and distress around them. With the 
 ordinary supply of troops for her hundreds of forts, ar- 
 senals, dock-yards, armories, and other important points. 
 Congress reported a biU for reducing gradually the military 
 establishment to 29,300 men. This is the most perfect com- 
 parison between an absolute monarchy, whose sole existence 
 depends upon the army and navy, and a republic, where 
 the moral power only sustains the sovereignty of the law, 
 and has given to her the glory and prosperity she enjoys, to- 
 gether with the immense civilizing influence for which she 
 is preeminently the most in advance. 
 
 The educational character of the people is, in a degree, 
 not less demonstrative of the benighted influence of the 
 government, than is the general acquiescence of the Cubans 
 themselves. There are but two universities or colleges. 
 The primary schools are very few, and controlled by special 
 boards appointed by the government. The whole number 
 of teachers, according to the last census, was only 500, and 
 the pupils 9,000. The more wealthy families have their 
 children instructed at home, for which purpose a private 
 teacher is engaged, who attends the house from one to two 
 hours daily. It is not extravagant to. state that four fifths 
 
358 SCB00L8, TEACSEBS, AND PUPILS. 
 
 of the children are without schooling. On the whole, the 
 ignorance of the islanders is deplorable, for, in the rural 
 districts throughout the country, the master, servant, and 
 slave are alike unacquainted with the first elements of edu- 
 cation. According to the statistics of the United States, 
 pulslished in 1860, there were 106,911 schools, 130,125 teach- 
 ers, and 4,917,332 pupils attending school, being five times 
 the whole population of Cuba. Besides these, there were 
 6,636 academies, with 15,763 teachers, and 455,545 pupils. 
 There were also 455 colleges, with 2,772 teachers and 54,- 
 969 students. There were 26,564 libraries, containing 12,- 
 889,601 volumes, with an annual income of $33,990,405. 
 
 This array of figures, even ten years ago,, appeared al- 
 most fabulous when placed in contrast with Spain and her 
 subjects in Cuba at that time. 
 
 Of course there was no essential demand for newspa- 
 pers, no deep interest for a knowledge of passmg events in 
 the world, no ambition or enterprise. On the entire island 
 there were not more than six daily newspapers, and three 
 weekly — not one of which was political, while all were 
 under a censorship. In 1860, there were in the United^ 
 States — daily newspapers, 387 ; tri-weeklies, 86 ; semi- 
 weeklies, 79 ; weeklies, 3,173 ; monthlies, 280 ; quarterlies, 
 30; annuals, 16; grand total, 4,051. Of the newspapers 
 and periodicals, 3,242 were political, 277 religious, 298 lit- 
 erary, and 234 miscellaneous. The unbounded patronage 
 given to the difiusion of mformation has caused the num- 
 ber of papers and periodicals to increase rapidly, till their 
 number is now legion. Surely, that people must be pros- 
 perous and mighty whose gates ot knowledge are thrown 
 so wide open for all their children, and where it is the 
 privilege of all to become thoroughly educated in aU the 
 aifairs of the government. 
 
 The moral and religious principle of the masses in 
 
CUBAN SOIL AND CLIMATE. 359 
 
 Cuba are low and degrading. One singular fact, on the 
 part of the male popiilation, is, that they are never known 
 to attend church or evince any devotional feeling, their zeal 
 being entirely engrossed by those depraved exhibitions of 
 bull and cock-fighting — amusements barbarously disgusting 
 and evU, in which the priests frequently participate. The 
 females, however, are constant and earnest in their devo- 
 tional duties, crowding the consecrated edifices at all times. 
 "Whether this emanates from a reverential feeling, or from 
 custom, their own hearts know best. In all domestic and 
 other desirable qualifications, they are sadly deficient '; they 
 have not those capable and requisite traits which give to a 
 home those sterling assurances of comfort and happiness. 
 Indolence in their habits is so proverbial that they appear 
 but living automatons. To what extent education and cli- 
 mate has influenced this characteristic, I am unable to state ; 
 but the "presumption is, that they are the effects which slav- 
 ery, wealth, and a tropical temperature combined, pro- 
 duce. ^_ 
 
 Three fourths of the population are of the colored race; 
 the balance is composed of Europeans and natives. Some 
 few years since, an active emigration took place from the 
 Azores, and the fingal and industrious habits of these peo- 
 ple have been productive of much good to the old residents. 
 
 The geological character of the island has never been 
 accurately investigated, but it is sufficiently known to be of 
 a gi'anitic gneiss sienite character, with a secondary and 
 third formation, principally calcareous. The minerals are 
 rich and mmierous. Gold and silver have not been found 
 in any quantities, yet there is no question but that they 
 extensively exist. Copper is plentiful ; several large mines 
 have long been in operation, conducted with a degree of 
 success and profit. Coal, marble, magnesia, iron pyrites, 
 quartz, and slate, have been discovered, with many other 
 
360 SUGAB PLANTATIONS. 
 
 varieties of the greatest importance. The floral character 
 is magnificently grand and diversified, the sweetest flowers 
 and plants are everywhere visible, and the air laden with 
 their perfume, the beauty and fragrance of which are be- 
 yond description. The water lily — Victoria Begia — ^is in- 
 digent here, and is to be seen spreading its cool, broad 
 leaves on the rivers. The scenery is varied — at times lovely 
 and grand; vegetation exuberant and elegant in the ex- 
 treme, in many instances presenting the most beautiful 
 panorama of nature imaginable. The climate is damp and 
 unhealthy, subject to fevers and other diseases of a serious 
 nature, which the low position of the city greatly accele- 
 rates, but in the interior the air is more salubrious, and 
 sickness less prevalent. 
 
 Earthquakes are frequently experienced in the southeast 
 part of the country, but hurricanes are not of common 
 occurrence. 
 
 The soil is good and fertile ; perhaps not quite equal in 
 quality to many of the islands, yet the productions are very 
 abundant, and if cultivated on modern principles, and at- 
 tended with the smallest approach to science, the return 
 would be greatly augmented, for the capacity of the land 
 and its resources are far from taxed ; but the higher class 
 of agricultural improvements are not a subject of any great 
 interest, for the inference is, that that which is lost by ignor- 
 ing these improvements, is gained by the compulsory toil 
 exacted from the slaves. This wisdom of economy, how- 
 ever, results in a serious loss, for their physical energies 
 become relaxed and feeble, which might otherwise have 
 been largely strengthened and saved, so that in an economical 
 point of view it is not less important. Many of the large and 
 principal sugar plantations are managed with skill and sys- 
 tem, and the proprietors exercise a fair treatment of their 
 slaves. But the land for all other purposes throughout the 
 
SCARCITY OF LABOB. 361 
 
 island is wretchedly neglected, the owners depending 
 entirely upon the natural growth more "than any judicious 
 exertion or attention to its necessary wants and capabilities. 
 A perfect confidence or satisfactory feeling prevails, without 
 reference to results, consequently every branch of farming 
 is in a deplorable condition, and this in a country overflow- 
 ing with milk and honey. But the love of ambition or 
 desire for wealth cannot impress ignorant minds with the 
 value and importance of industry; yet, notwithstanding 
 this neglect, the crops are very large, and annually increas- 
 ing. In many districts of the island there are vast tracts 
 of uncultivated land, superior and excellent in character, 
 well wooded and valuable, comprising mahogany, ebony, 
 cedar, and others no less precious, which, from the scarcity 
 of labor, remain unimproved. Much land is appropriated 
 to the raising of cattle, which is quite lucrative. The prin- 
 cipal productions are sugar, tobacco, cofi«e, rice, maize, 
 indigo, molasses, and malloehlen grass. Honey, wax, on- 
 ions, and poultry are largely produced. The supply of fruit 
 is prolific, embracing the pine, oranges, limes, bananas, figs, 
 strawberries, and other varieties of a delicious nature. 
 16 
 
CHAPTEK XXXI. 
 
 INCIDENTS AUD EXHIBITIONS IN HAVAHA. 
 
 \ HE greatest embarrassment I experienced 
 was the want of a hall, bnt ultimately I 
 procured a large room at the Tacon 
 Theatre, which was at this time in course 
 of erection. The carpenter engaged "by 
 me to prepare seats and other necessary 
 arrangements, was a native of the island, 
 and made a special promise to use despatch, but he pursued 
 his work with the greatest leisure, although he had twelve 
 persons employed. It took them a full week to do what 
 two Americans would have accomplished in two days. 
 Every few minutes the whole party would stop to smoke 
 their cigarettes, and when they did labor, the scene was so 
 amazingly ridiculous, that, notwithstanding my patience was 
 tried almost beyond endurance, stiU I could not for the 
 moment bu^ forget the feeling, and laugh freely. I once 
 saw a man take an ordinary hand-saw to saw a common 
 board, which he could not do till a, second-man sat himself 
 down on the floor opposite, and holding the point of the 
 instrument between the thumb and forefinger, aided him in 
 the work, while a third person balanced the end; and when 
 a piece of wood or plank was needed, however small or 
 light, it required two men to furnish it. This whole job 
 seemed to me to be a complete farce, so that I became 
 fatigued and disgusted with such indolent mechanics, and 
 
GREAT POPXTLARITY. 363 
 
 to add to the annoyance, they did not labor but six hours 
 per day. The more I complained and urged them forward, 
 the less they accomplished, and to my inquiry as to the 
 time they would finish, the reply inrariably was, " Mayana, 
 Signor ! " whiclr, interpreted, means to-morrow — a common 
 and characteristic word among the Cubans ; and so it con- 
 tinued " mayana, mayana, mayana," until they finally an- 
 nounced it completed. 
 
 I commenced my exhibitions with great expectations, 
 which were fully realized. The hall was continually crowded 
 with a sea of heads, combining the old, middle aged, and 
 youth ; also, the gay, and idle, and those of a morbid and 
 sensitive nocture. Nothing could surpass the excitement and 
 interest created: some smiled; others looked solemn and 
 agitated ; what was engendered in their minds could only 
 be imagined from their expressions, for there evidently 
 appeared an uneasy feeling in their actions, as when it be- 
 came necessary for me to approach any portion of the audi- 
 ence, to solicit the loan of any particular article, many would 
 shrink back and shake their heads, as though I was the in- 
 carnation jof evil. But this betrayal of superstitious belief 
 prevailed continually ; there was ho release from its powers; 
 their whole nature was impregnated with it ; they were the 
 personification of its principles, and yoked to its influences. 
 An easy and simple feat was as equally unaccountable to 
 them as the most complicated one ; their organs of vision 
 were not less contracted than those of their reflections — ^un- 
 able to distinguish by sight or reason, they were ever in a 
 dream of amazement, and gave \itterance to their emotions 
 by exclaiming that I was a " Brugo ! " In the hall, draw- 
 ing-room, or street, I was pointed out, and even parents 
 flocked to the windows, holding up their children to see the 
 "Brugo," as I passed. 
 
 This popularity, however distasteftil to my feelings, was 
 
364 SUPERSTITION OF THE PEOPLE. 
 
 a tribute to and a confidence in my necromantic abilities, 
 and very largely increased my receipts. The more sober 
 and reflecting people were, with few exceptions, no less 
 enthusiastic and interested. I was considered by some as 
 the author of all misfortunes ; yet the deaf, blind, crippled, 
 and the afflicted of every kind, sanguine of my powers to 
 ' benefit their condition, visited me constantly ; from morn- 
 ing until night they crowded my residence, importuning 
 me to prescribe remedies for their recovery — to exercise 
 such potent spells as were at my command. Their en- 
 treaties were unceasing and earnest, and all efforts on my 
 part to disabuse and enlighten their thoughts in respect to 
 my vocation, its duties, and my powerless position over 
 spiritual events, were unavailing. I told them that the 
 Great Master of heaven and earth directed and distributed 
 His favors agreeable to His wisdom ; that it was to Him 
 they must appeal, for no man could grant dispensations be- 
 yond the ordinary laws of science, or penetrate into the 
 kingdom of peace and love. These and a thousand similar 
 remarks made no impression upon their minds. The confi- 
 dence they entertained in my powers and capabilities was 
 beyond removal ; it was a conviction arising from a religious 
 superstition, always prominent in those whose views and 
 peculiarities conflict with the common law, or attempt to 
 render ridiculous those permanent principles which govern 
 the world. 
 
 The incongruity of the mental organs has existed in 
 all- time. The most learned have been noted for their idio- 
 syncrasies, so that it is more generous to sympathize with 
 the feebleness of humanity than to decry and rebuke its in- 
 tellectual derangements. While, however, there may be 
 occasion, in some respects, for solicitude, there is ample 
 prospect for future congratulations, for the sweeping pro- 
 gress of the age favors disencumbering the mind of crude 
 
TBE ENCHANTED APPLE. 315 
 
 impressions ■which encompass it. These are pleasant hopes 
 for those fam.iliar with the immense credulity that pervades 
 all classes of all nations. 
 
 My exploits lost none of their attraction, as no one pre- 
 tended to account for the facts they saw, or bestowed time 
 to think of or explain them, or from whence appeared the 
 emanations of the mystic world. Men and women shrank 
 with fear, refusing to taste or accept the fruits and flowers 
 produced hy the enchanted hand of the magician. " What ! 
 eat your apples ! " exclaimed a believer in diahlerie. "No, 
 indeed ! I should feel Beelzebub prowling around me." A 
 person more adventurous carried one — " the enchanted ap- 
 ple" — ^home, which he ate before retiring. During the 
 night he imagined he suffered intensely, and invoked every 
 infernal curse upon my head, and prayed forgiveness for the 
 sin of receiving the "Brugo's" gifts. 
 
 The M.YSTIC Flowei\j^ 
 
 A lady, whose love for flowers could not resist the 
 temptation of taking home a bouquet, in the morning 
 found, to her surprise, that the flowers composing it had 
 completely changed their character. There was no longer 
 the beauty and variety of the previous evening, but a mere 
 bunch of dry sticks, without a solitary leaf to be seen, 
 or even the appearance of there having, been any. This 
 alarmed the possessor, whose imagination called up all the 
 peculiar fears and apprehensions prevalent with people 
 whose optics and perceptions are of a chameleon character. 
 The circumstance spread far and wide, and became the com- 
 mon discussion in high life and low. The bishop and priest 
 were consulted, who examined the dark and musty volumes 
 of the Church, but their anxious researches were unsuccess- 
 ful. This failure on the part of the learned teachers to 
 reach a solution of the wonder-workings I was daily and 
 
366 TME TBIEVING SOLDIERS. 
 
 hourly exercising, materially increased my reputation, and 
 tte Cubans' belief in necromancy, to an unprecedented ex- 
 tent. Nothing was lost or found but that I was in some 
 manner connected with it. This forcibly demonstrated 
 itself in various instances, perhaps in none more so than 
 the aimexed incident : 
 
 The Thieving Soldiers. 
 
 Early one morning, before sunrise, I was notified that 
 the hall door of my exhibition room was discovered to be 
 open. I repaired immediately to the spot, and found the 
 room in possession of a corporal and two soldiers, who had 
 been placed there to protect it. I looked carefully over my 
 apparatus several times, and missed a Spanish real — twelve 
 and a half cents — a pack of cards, and a mechanical stick. 
 I inquired of the soldiers if they had seen any of the arti- 
 cles. One of them replied that he had purchased a bottle 
 of wine with the money, but all denied any knowledge of 
 the cards or stick. " It is very strange," I remarked, "that 
 no one should know anything of the matter. The cards," 
 I continued, "were of no consideration, but the stick was 
 of great value to me on account of its mechanical construc- 
 tion ; and unless the person who had taken it from me re- 
 turned it, I would haunt his dreams, and destroy his sleep." 
 Each man shook his head and declared his innocence. I 
 dismissed the men, locked the door, and returned home. 
 
 Many days had passed without any clue to the stick, and 
 all hopes of ever obtaining it had vanished, when I was 
 suddenly surprised by the appearance of one of the soldiers, 
 who drew from his sleeve the stick. 
 
 "Here, Signer," he said, with much emphasis, having 
 evidently a disturbed and harassed mind, "here is your 
 stick, or the devil's rod ; take it, and return me peace. I 
 have been a miserable wretch since I committed the theft — 
 
TSE SOLSISB'S confession. 367 
 
 punislied at night by restless sleep and grim phantoms, and 
 during the day I experience an inward mortification and 
 shame that destroys my happiness." 
 
 " "Wen, did I not predict all this to you?" 
 
 " Truly so ; yet I expected to escape detection, and to op- 
 erate with the stick, by summoning the genii of gold to lay 
 before me his richest treasures; but your mighty power 
 prevented this. Only bestow upon me my former com- 
 fort." 
 
 "I grant it freely, with the condition that you state 
 what became of the pack of cards." 
 
 " Ah ! Signer, I concealed them in my shoe for safety, 
 but before I reached the guard-house they were gone ; you 
 deprived me of them." 
 
 "What reason have you for so thinking?" 
 
 " Because I feel satisfied no one but yourself could have 
 taken them from me." 
 
 " Soldier, it is gratifying to hear you entertain so much 
 confidence in my knowledge and skUl." 
 
 " I have occasion for so doing." 
 
 "Well, truth will always triumph. I freely forgive 
 you, and trust your future actions in life may be guided by 
 those principles of virtue, that bring respect and considera- 
 tion." 
 
 He bowed his leave, and took his departure with a re- 
 lieved countenance, and,! hope, an unburdened conscience. 
 
 The world is a mirror, that reflects every ism and oddity 
 of belief. The feelings of society are the premonitory foun- 
 dation for good or evil. Circumstances may have much to 
 do with the character of men ; but the teachings of a moral 
 home, and the education of the early mind, is a solid struc- 
 ture to man. To him, the highest hills are easy of ascent, 
 and his life, not unlike a green and verdant vaUey, pleasant 
 to look upon and remember. Men of evil minds are always 
 
368 TSE UNJUST WNE. 
 
 tmhappy and discontented, and it is natural they should be 
 so, for they are devoid of all love, blind to every form of 
 beauty and worth, and impenitent to the last. They mur- 
 mur at their condition, and express themselves dissatisfied 
 with everything. 
 
 The Unjust Fine. 
 
 Frequently I was engaged to give my entertainments at 
 private parties. On the first occasion, I was subject to 
 much embarrassment, for, returning home one night be- 
 tween the hours of eleven and twelve, — after my performance 
 at the residence of a wealthy Spaniard, — ^in company with my 
 interpreter, having birds, rabbits, and trunks, the driver of 
 the ijolcmte was stopped by the police, who desired to see 
 my permit for being out so late, l^ot having the special 
 document required, they stated that the whole party were 
 their prisoners. They inquired my place of residence, to 
 which we all proceeded. When we arrived at the house, 
 they intimated that we -could all retire to our beds, but they 
 were obliged to keep the carriage, horse, and postilion in 
 the court-yard. Happy to escape in this manner, I readily 
 consented to do so. 
 
 In the morning we all had to report ourselves before the 
 judge, who fined us three doubloons — ^fifty-one dollars. 
 Not admiring his wisdom, or comprehending the justice of 
 his decision, I requested to be informed of what I had been 
 guilty. He replied that I had violated the laws of the isl- 
 and, and I must pay the penalty. I respectfully protested 
 against this decision, pleading my ignorance of the law in 
 regard to the necessity of procuring a pass from govern- 
 ment. 
 
 " I accept your statement," said he, " and for that reason 
 I have only imposed one half the usual sum." 
 
 At this moment a gentleman entered the ofl5ce in appar- 
 
THE MAOICIAN''S GOLD. 869 
 
 ent haste, to obtain his honor's signature to some papers. 
 The interruption afforded me an excellent opportunity to 
 make arrangements for astonishing the learned judge. I 
 seized an envelope, in which I placed three silver dollars, 
 and folded the paper, near as possible, to the shape of the 
 coin. 
 
 After the gentleman left, I counted out three doubloons, 
 but told the judge that the government treasury would not 
 be benefited by the money. 
 
 " Why not ? " he indignantly asked. 
 
 " Because it is magic gold, and will become silver the 
 instant I leave your presence," I replied ; and in proof of 
 this, I requested to be allowed to wrap them in an envelope, 
 to which he assented. 
 
 I di'opped in the pieces, one by one, and shaped it closely 
 resembling the one I had prepared with the dollars, when, in 
 a second, I substituted the silver enveloped in paper, for 
 that of the gold, notwithstanding the judge's sharp atten- 
 tion to my movements. Then I requested him to make 
 some memorandum in writing upon the pa,ckage. 
 
 " Yes, I will seal it with wax ; " which he did, made an 
 impression with a ring, and, further, wrote something upon 
 the paper, then placed it in his pocket,_ remarking that " it 
 was not in the power of man to change it." I assured him 
 that he would find himself deceived. 
 
 "If you can abstract it," he defiantly exclaimed, "you 
 are welcome to it." « 
 
 Having discharged my obligation, the judge said I was 
 at liberty to retire. I heard nothing in relation to the 
 money deposited in the judge's pocket until the following 
 day, when a message reached me from him, stating his wish 
 to see me. I anticipated his object, and was fully prepared 
 for his surprise. 
 
 I found him in company with many persons, whose di- 
 16* 
 
370 GOLD TURNS TO SILVER. 
 
 lated eyes indicated their interest in what he was relating. 
 His own countenance also evinced that peculiar expression 
 which never fails to develop itself whenever the feelings are 
 perplexed or severely troubled. "With the silver and paper 
 in his hand, he was explaining, in an excited manner, what 
 appeared to him a miracle, the movement of his head, 
 shoulders, and hands, keeping time with the volubility of 
 his tongue. 
 
 All eyes turned to me as I entered. The gentlemen 
 buttoned their pockets, as if afraid that I should relieve 
 them of their contents. The judge received me graciously, 
 and commenced by saying that after I left him the previous 
 day, a strange sensation came over him, such as he had 
 never before experienced. The blood in his veins began to 
 throb, and shocks penetrated his system, which alarmed 
 him much. I repHed that there was no necessity for fear; 
 that the shocks were only caused by the electric action on 
 the metallic substance in his poCket. 
 
 "What length of time did the feeling you describe con- 
 tinue?" I asked. 
 
 " For several hours ; but ultimately it subsided," he re- 
 plied. 
 
 I explained to him that such was the natural result of 
 those laws that appertain to science, that there need be no 
 farther apprehension, as the substitution of the sUver for 
 the gold was fully accomplished. 
 
 " What invisible source have yon ?" 
 
 " I^one but these," exhibiting my hands ; " they are the 
 crucibles by which I dissolve and recoin the metals." 
 
 " Then you have the faculty of making the rich poor, 
 and the poor rich?" 
 
 "That depends upon circumstances," I answered; "for 
 wealth, when fraudulently secured, only becomes liable to 
 evil propensities ; but when honorably acquired, it is harm- 
 
GREAT FJEAM AND CONSTERNATION: STl 
 
 less, even as against the magician's caprice. When did you 
 discover the fact of the transformation ? " I asked. 
 
 "While at dinner. I removed the package from my 
 pocket, broke it open, and you can picture my am^azement 
 on finding the silver dollars. The effect was astounding. 
 My brain became dizzy vsrith fear ! " 
 
 " You may remember, judge, that I distinctly informed 
 you, at the time you fined me, that the money would never 
 be of any advantage to the island revenue, the truth of . 
 which you have realized." 
 
 " You speak truly ; but how was it effected ? It seems 
 incomprehensible ; for nothing has ever transpired in Cuba 
 so decidedly beyond comprehension, and it even surpasses 
 in wonder the renowned magicians of the East, the magic 
 of India, the fakirs of China, and the feats of the Hindoo 
 and Brahmin priests, who cultivated and practised their 
 knowledge of necromancy with a stubbornness of mind in- 
 comprehensible. ' ' 
 
 "I am happy, judge, to hear you express so high an 
 estimation of my abilities. I was operating only on my 
 own money, but I am prepared at any moment to repeat 
 the experiment by converting all the gold and silver in your 
 residence into copper, without approaching the premises.", 
 
 This proposition created the greatest consternation in 
 the astute mind and feelings of the magistrate, who rose 
 from his chair with the fearful expectation that I would 
 execute what I had proposed. 
 
 "No, no, Signor, pray do not!" he cried, in a voice 
 broken with fear, " I 'have several thousands of gold, and 
 much family plate ; I should be ruined ! " 
 
 "I have no object," I continued, "beyond convincing 
 you of the immensity of my art, and what it enables me 
 and those who are its disciples to achieve ; but even this is 
 nothing in comparison to what I am capable of doing. I 
 
372 NATURAL MAGIC. 
 
 can remove the teeth from your mouth, the hair from your 
 head, and the clothes from your back." 
 
 " I believe all you state, Signor ; indeed, I think what- 
 ever you undertake will be successful — only spare __ my per- 
 son and property." 
 
 "Tes, we are ,all confident," responded the judge's 
 friends, " that there is no exaggeration in what you affirm. 
 We feel assured you are the master and embodiment of a 
 power miraculous and absolute." 
 
 I gave my word I would suspend all further action ; that 
 no fiiture exercise on my part should molest the judge, in- 
 directly or otherwise, for, as I had succeeded in establishing 
 the wonders of natural magic, I could afford to be generous 
 and forgiving. The judge hastened toward me, and shook 
 me heartily by the hand, for what he termed my magna- 
 nimity, in which they all expressed their acquiescence. 
 
 In the evening a messenger delivered to me, the follow- 
 ing letter, written in Spanish, accompanied by a box : 
 
 "WoNDEEFUL SiGNOE ! Plcase accept a souvenir of 
 twelve doubloons as a memorial of my high consideration 
 for your eminent — I might say, without impropriety, super- 
 natural — talents. 
 
 "With wishes of friendship and esteem, 
 
 " Your sincere admirer, 
 
 "Don ." 
 
 Of course the greater portion of Havana was greatly 
 disturbed by the positive statement of the judge, who was 
 overwhelmed and tormented day and night by eager inqui-, 
 ries from every grade in society, and to each and all he em- 
 phatically declared the truth of the report in regard to 
 himself. 
 
 How marvellous is the imagina,tionj How frequently 
 a little unpremeditated circumstance wijl excite the mental 
 
A SIT OF PHILOSOPHY. 373 
 
 faculties and create a marked sensibility for romantic ex- 
 travagances, and those ideas that are associated with the 
 invisible spheres! for so sensitive are the organs which 
 direct our opinions, that we unthoughtfully become victims 
 to the most improbable and ridiculous conclusions. This 
 instability of character has always been conspicuous in man, 
 and notwithstanding knowledge, and all the civilizing influ- 
 ences of life, it seems likely to continue. This declaration 
 may appear strange, and not complimentary to the enlight- 
 enment of the age, and endless numbers will be prepared 
 to deny and affirm to the contrary. No doubt such persons 
 have their opinions respecting the decline of those follies 
 which were so prominent in ancient periods ; but if time 
 has accomplished this object, it has been no less successful 
 in the creation of countless frailties and follies equally ab- 
 surd. This is fully established by reference to all the lead- 
 ing newspapers and periodicals, whose columns continually 
 abound with editorial essays and discussions of the Spirit- 
 ualists and their public lectures, and the advertisements of 
 fortune-tellers and astrologers ; indeed, there is scarcely any 
 exemption from their influences. Society is painfully in- 
 terested in seeking a faith that is untenable as it is inju- 
 dicious and wicked. 
 
 Nothing could surpass my uninterrupted success. Ap- 
 plications were repeatedly made to me, by people of position 
 and understanding, to awaken the dead from their slumber- 
 ing graves, and excavate the buried secrets of pecuniary 
 value on matters of family importance in regard to mislaid 
 bills or papers. There was no description of fanaticism 
 that did not daily reveal itself. This is illustrated by the 
 
 Box OF Cigars. 
 
 In compliment to a friend, who had rendered me valu- 
 able services, I had obtained a box of the finest cigars manu- 
 
■3'74: THE LIBERAL LANDLADT. 
 
 factured on the island, whicli I forwarded, with, my compli- 
 ments. To my surprise he returned them, with a copy of 
 the Bible, and a note expressing his thanks, but stating that 
 he could not on any account — devoted as he was to a cigar — 
 attempt to inhale the perfumes of hell ! and hoped the good 
 Book would guide me through life, and protect me from the 
 powers of Satan and his innumerable advocates. This gen- 
 tleman was cultivated in mind and dignified in character, 
 but not without his idiosyncrasies. 
 
 A most remarkable illustration of how efiectually the 
 physicar system is affected by the mind, came at this time 
 under my observation, which I will here relate : 
 
 The Liberal Landlady. 
 
 On my arrival in Havana, I settled at a quiet and con- 
 venient boarding-house. The proprietress was an invalid, 
 yet, in some degree, active and industrious. After attend- 
 ing my exhibitions," she frequently consulted me in regard 
 to her ailments, urging me to charm away her trouble, and 
 provide her with the health and strength of former days. I 
 regretted my inability to benefit her, as I professed no knowl- 
 edge of medicine whatever, but stated that I had by me a bot- 
 tle of mixture in the virtues of which I had the most implicit 
 confidence, and if she would take a teaspoonful at night 
 and in the morning, it perhaps might be of advantage to her. 
 To this she joyfully assented, and, strange as it may appear, 
 in the course of one week she fully recovered, and affirmed 
 she was well. My remedy was a bottle of Cherry Pectoral, 
 which I had by me. I explained it to her, but she attri- 
 buted its healing power solely to my magic powers. The 
 gratitude of this woman knew no limit ; there was no luxury 
 or comfort, however expensive, that she did not procure for 
 me ; and I sincerely believe that this simple circumstance 
 alone would have enabled me to obtain any amount of patients 
 
PECULIAR PEOPLE. 3t5 
 
 as a medical practitioner. From the time of my prescrip- 
 tion up to tte time of my leaving the city, she refused all 
 compensation for my board, as she stated I had restored her 
 to life and health. Of course I remunerated her in other 
 ways, poor deluded woman ! 
 
 My readers may correctly infer that my profession has 
 subjected me to an infinite variety of events of a character 
 developing all the singular traits and dispositions of the 
 human mind. Charity for the infirmities of others should 
 not fail to enlist our sympathy and forbearance, and remind 
 us that we cannot see ourselves as others see us. So con- 
 stituted are the faculties that the reasoning powers will be- 
 come the dupe of their own senses, for it is extraordinarily 
 difficult, if not impossible, to remove impressions produced 
 by traditions and adventures. There are more people in 
 the world wrong than right. To attempt to change their 
 belief would not only be a herculean task, but in most in- 
 stances a failure. There was no escape for me, either from 
 the importunities of the illiterate or the demands of the 
 wise and learned, for all looked upon me as capable of exer- 
 cising my art either for good or evil. 
 
CHAPTEE XXXn. 
 
 THE CUBAlf LOTEES. 
 
 N the city of Havana resided a retired planter, 
 Senor Jose Garcia, and his amiable lady, 
 Senora Madelon. They were rich and influ- 
 ential, blessed with an only chUd, a daugh- 
 ter, who was the idol of their hearts, the 
 flower and happiness of a palatial home. 
 Few possessed such graces of nature, or en- 
 joyed the advantages of so high a position, 
 which she adorned with the beauty of her person and the 
 brilliancy of a gifted mind. The most fabulous sums were 
 appropriated to educate and accomplish this darling of their 
 love, and teachers were procured proficient in all languages 
 and sciences. 
 
 Sefiorita Inez Garcia was also the delight and idol of 
 society, and was admired by old and young, for there was 
 not in the city or on the island one so popular, or so much 
 entitled to the universal homage she received. A smile 
 and a kind word for friend or stranger, and an afiability 
 almost irresistible, accompanied at all times with a generous 
 purse for the poor and afilicted, were the magic attractions 
 of this fair lady. But as wealth, youth, and beauty are, not 
 exempt from vicissitudes, or independent of those trials 
 which surround life, so in this case. Inez was privately 
 betrothed to Senor Carlos, a young gentleman of ability 
 and character, the son of an old Castilian, haughty and 
 
OPPOSITION OF TMEIR PARENTS. Sl1 
 
 aristocractic as all natives of Old Spain are well known to 
 be, especially as exhibited by those residing in Cuba, while 
 between the fathers of the lovers a bitter and undying feud 
 had for a long time existed, neither of whom was conscious 
 of the engagement. 
 
 This enamoured couple met, conversed, and enjoyed 
 each other's presence with that transport and delight so 
 usual where love predominates. Thus two years passed 
 fleetingly away, when our hero and heroine resolved to 
 solicit the consent of their parents. This was an act of no 
 ordiiiary undertaking, for both full well knew in advance 
 the opposition and denial they would encounter ; but true 
 love suffers no defeat, encounters opposition in every form, 
 and fights valiantly for its prize. This was the determina- 
 tion and feeling that inspired Carlos and his fimicee. But 
 the repulse they met with was overwhelming. The grief 
 and sorrow which from this day encompassed the two was 
 not only distracting, but mingled with the most painful 
 apprehensions. 
 
 The father of Inez, invariably a man of qiiiet and liberal 
 impulses, became frantic with rage and curses. 
 
 "What! marry the son of a tyrant, an enemy to my 
 beautiful country — earth's paradise ! Never will I sanction 
 such an alliance." 
 
 The father of Carlos was less impetuously demonstrative 
 in his denunciation, but equally firm in his opposition. His 
 antipathy to connect himself with a native Cuban in family 
 alliance was unconquerable. From necessity, therefore, all 
 secret meetings, as well as communications between the 
 lovers, were for a period entirely broken off and discon- 
 tinued. But not many weeks had elapsed before the 
 inventive genius of love baffled all the precautions, of 
 whatever character, taken by the parents, and their ap- 
 pointments and communications were again resumed and 
 
3*78 VISITED BT 8EN0BITA INEZ Aim DON CABLOS. 
 
 uninterrupted, there being a determination on their part to 
 love the more, and brave every obstacle. 
 
 In this critical position of affairs I arrived in Havana, 
 when my fame and wonders soon became known to the dis- 
 tressed Carlos and Inez, who immediately consulted me as 
 to the truih of the reports concerning me, and of my will- 
 ingness and ability to serve them, proffering to me untold 
 sums of gold to interest myself in their present and fut- 
 ure happiness; to relieve their difficulties by gaining the 
 permission of their natural guardians to their union. I 
 gave them no encouragement, as I was unwilling to under- 
 take that which I could not accomplish. They retired de- 
 jected and disappointed at my refusal, but returned again 
 in a few days, supplicating me to intercede and put in prac- 
 tice my powers of necromancy for the accomplishment of 
 their desire. TJhe more I urged the impossibility of my 
 benefiting them, the greater was their persuasions and 
 promises of gold. I assured them my feelings were deeply 
 interested in their behalf, and if circumstances could be 
 favorably arranged, I would place in execution a project 
 that might not be without its influences, and possibly 
 might affect their destiny. 
 
 I suggested that Inez should promenade with her father 
 in the piazza during the evening, but if by any imforeseen 
 occurrence she should be unable to attend, to communicate 
 at once with me. "With this understanding we parted. 
 This course I considered the only plausible one to insure 
 success, as it was a customary and usual place of resort for 
 the people. At the proper time I proceeded to the prome- 
 nade, and, after a few impatient moments, observed the fair 
 Inez leaning upon the arm of an elegant-looking gentleman, 
 in the prime of life, and dressed in a suit of white linen. 
 I followed them cl&sely, without a recognition from Inez. 
 Suddenly a voice exclaimed, — 
 
TBE WARNING VOICE. 379 
 
 " Seftor Jose Garcia ! Senor Garcia here 1 " 
 
 Thus startled, he separated from his daughter, and 
 turned toward the sound, inquiring who it was. 
 
 " Me, Senor ; a member of your family from the in- 
 visible dominion." 
 
 " "What do you require of me ? " he asked, in trembling 
 accents. 
 
 " Consent to your daughter's marriage with Senor Car- 
 los." 
 
 " Never ! " he angrily muttered. 
 
 " Tour happiness in this world and the next depends 
 upon it," was the response. 
 
 " Who are you that rebukes and advises me ? " he asked. 
 
 "I am gone," was said, in receding tones, "but be- 
 ware ! " 
 
 I retreated some distance, and obsei-ved him directing 
 his search in the vicinity of the spot whence came the ad- 
 monition of the imperceptible monitor. Suddenly he took 
 his daughter's arm, and walked toward his home, where he 
 arrived much perplexed and troubled ; he then related the 
 strange event to his wife, who was equally bewildered, es- 
 pecially as she was of a superstitious turn of mind, and an 
 advocate of all the isms of the age. 
 
 The night to them was a fearftd one. All sleep was 
 banished from their eyes; forms and characters of every 
 description appeared to them; and thus they passed the 
 hours of darkness, restless aijd sleepless, until the morning 
 sun arose in its splendor and cheerfulness, when they arose . 
 and arranged their toilet for taking a carriage ride, and dis- 
 cussing the scenes of the night, the precise nature of which 
 was a secret known only to themselves ; but one thing soon 
 became very evident to them, which was, that their sym- 
 pathies were aroused, and hearts softened, for on their re- 
 turn to breakfast a reaction had taken place, and they em- 
 
380 INEZ MADM HAPPY. 
 
 braced Inez, withdrawing their hostility to her becoming' 
 thie bride of Senor Carlos. 
 
 The heart of the maiden throbbed with bright anticipa- 
 tions for the future. No butterfly was more light and 
 airy. All this she imparted to me in the course of the day, 
 with a countenance sparkling writh animation and brilliancy. 
 The outburst of her gratitude was touching in the extreme. 
 My pen cannot convey the least approach to its excess. 
 
 "Now," she vivaciously exclaimed, "you have only to 
 conquer the father of Carlos, and we shall then be united." 
 I shook my head, and gave her no great hope of my further 
 success, for all depended upon the probability of meeting 
 opportunities, although I felt greatly elated at what had 
 been achieved. 
 
 Day after day they visited me, to inquire what I pro- 
 posed to do. My good fortune in my first attempt had in- 
 spired their confidence so much that their minds fully be- 
 lieved me invulnerable to failure. 
 
 During the week, a masquerade ball was to take place 
 at the residence of Count Hormoso, at which Carlos in- 
 formed me his father was to be present, and specified the 
 disguise he would appear in, at the same time promising to 
 procure me an invitation. This was a fortunate circum- 
 stance to further my scheme, in which I had become ear- 
 nestly enlisted. 
 
 True to his promise, the invitation was received, and I 
 repaired to the assembly in a well-chosen disguise, and soon 
 perceived the old Castilian, the object of my search. Time 
 was valuable, and I immediately commenced operations by 
 using my ventriloquial powers in impressing his feelings 
 with great alarm at the consequences of his refusal to his 
 son's marriage with Inez, the lovely and virtuous daughter 
 of Senor Jos6 Garcia. 
 
 " Give me your name," he demanded. 
 
all's well that ends well. 381 
 
 " I^ever ! " I returned, in a hollow voice. " I am not 
 of this sphere. Remember the advice you have received." 
 
 I then departed, and mingled with the gay and merry 
 crowd. This second attempt was not less a victory over 
 prejudice, for, in a few days following the masquerade, Car- 
 los and Inez came with the glad tidings that Don Luis had 
 complied, though reluctantly, and had removed all impedi- 
 ments to their alliance. 
 
 Carlos and Inez literally considered me their good genii, 
 and loaded me with handsome presents, of great value. 
 
 In a few months, the nuptials of these lovers were cele- 
 brated with mucTi pomp and magnificence, amidst great re- 
 joicing. Long previous to the marriage, I received many 
 pressing invitations to be present, but untoward events pre- 
 vented the pleasure of my participating in celebrating an 
 event to which I had contributed so successfully ; but hun- 
 dreds, however, did witness the unalloyed exuberance of 
 those whose hearts were fuU with sweet joy and fond pros- 
 pects in the union of the houses of Garcia and Luis, whose 
 rivalry, once so implacable, has since mellowed into a bond 
 of affection and interest. 
 
 Tears have come and gone since this happy event, and 
 many of those prominently associated with the narrative 
 are beyond famUy feuds or pleasures. Their memory only 
 remains. Carlos and Inez are stiU living, blessed with 
 lovely children, and other of heaven's choice gifts to an un- 
 precedented extent, much of which is liberally bestowed 
 upon the needy and destitute ; in return for which they re- 
 ceive the blessings of the recipients, and the smiles of num- 
 berless poor. 
 
 The Captain-General of Cuba. 
 
 It is totally out of my power to describe the intense 
 feeling of excitement produced by the exercise of my art. 
 
382 THE CAPTAIN-OENMBAJj OF CUBA. 
 
 for even the Captain-General was carried away in the vor- 
 tex. He was a man of stem character, whose rigid system 
 of government occasioned a feeling of much terror to the 
 lawless and wicked, as it was grateful to the peaceful. 
 
 Strictly faithful to his duties, his rule recognized no 
 distinction between the rich and poor. His administration 
 demanded respect and obedience from alL Previous to 
 his appointment, crime prevailed constantly; the daring 
 hand of the murderer and robber knew no limit ; society 
 ' and the laws were aHke demoralized ; there was no protec- 
 tion for either life or property by day or night. Those who 
 administered the government were influenced and silenced 
 by the assassin's and plunderer's gold. 
 
 My fame and acts, combining truth and fiction, had 
 been made known to him, for there was nothing unknown 
 to his ear, that occurred in public or private life. His mind 
 could not unravel the strange and exciting stories afloat in 
 all classes of society, and, anxious to see and learn from 
 myself, he despatched one of his attaches to me, with the re- 
 quest that I would visit him. 
 
 My interview was an agreeable one. I enjoyed it very 
 much ; to his Excellency it was at times merry and serious. 
 He was sharp and cool in his questions, and betrayed much 
 determination of character. His language was forcible and 
 commanding, yet free from that presumption I expected. 
 He seriously inquired if I was in possession of some con- 
 trolling power over mind and matter ; if I could invoke the 
 saints and produce longevity ; if I was a Mephistopheles in 
 disguise — one ultimately doomed to the torments of perdi- 
 tion. 
 
 "Happily I am quite the contrary to that which your 
 Excellency has expressed." 
 
 "I am pleased to hear this, for I had doubts of your 
 claim to a natural life; yet. your conception of coming 
 
HE BECOMES A VICTIM. 383 
 
 events, and the practical success that attends your profes- 
 sional exercises, are mystical. They impress the thoughts 
 and feelings with distrust." 
 
 "With ignorant people only; for I assume no super- 
 natural qualifications. I only foUow the strict principles of 
 my profession," I replied. 
 
 "But where is the solution to the art of suppressing the 
 organ of sight and other senses?" 
 
 "It is a knowledge of man's unguarded habit, his 
 proneness to novelty and excitement, and surrounding cir- 
 cumstances." 
 
 " Do you pretend all men are victims to this principle ? " 
 
 " They are, in a general rule." 
 
 " Can you convince me of this?" 
 
 " I think it is possible." 
 
 He Becomes a Victim. 
 
 This part of our conversation was disturbed by the 
 barking of a dog in one of the ante-rooms, then the mew- 
 ing of a cat in a closet. The Captain-General seized a 
 stick and ran toward the cur (as he supposed), in a menacing 
 attitude, but no dog was found ! the only proof of his for- 
 mer presence was a deep, low growl. He returned, and 
 made a plunge with the stick into the closet, which he had 
 hastily opened, and from whence came the incessant mew- 
 ing of the cat, whose antagonist belabored resolutely about, 
 but in vain, for puss escaped his vengeance, and was last 
 heard in a distant "mew, mew," down a staircase. The 
 ridiculous scene quite overbalanced my gravity, and I burst 
 into an uncontrollable fit of laughter, saying, — 
 
 " This is conviction, I hope. Is your excellency a be- 
 liever in my power to deceive the faculties of man ? " 
 
 In the utmost consternation he looked at me, and ex- 
 claimed, — 
 
384 GREAT EXCITEMENT AMONG TBE PEOPLE. 
 
 "I am satisfied of the fact that you are a perfect master 
 of your art, and I have been, the victim ! " — when he, too, 
 laughed immoderately. 
 
 Here we separated, miuch to our mutual satisfaction at 
 the pleasant interview. During my residence in Havana I 
 found him a warm friend and valuable patron. This inci- 
 dent soon circulated, and there was no little mirth produced 
 at the expense of the civil and military governor of the isl- 
 and. It provided food for the gossips and busy tongues of 
 the people. To the sceptics, as well as believers in d/ial- 
 lerie, it was a source of great mystery. 
 
 M.ATANZAS. 
 
 After an unparalleled visit, mingled with good fortune 
 and notoriety, I left for Matan^as, a neat and attractive city. 
 
 The people were prepared for my reception, for they 
 had, long in advance, become familiar with my professional 
 career in Havana. The whole community were not only 
 interested, but animated with an inquisitive zeal, beneath 
 which could be detected an unsettled feeling of insecurity. 
 Why they did not openly avow- their apprehensions was a 
 question even among themselves. My own convictions 
 were that they entertained doubts as to my origin, and the 
 lawful nature of my pursuits. They importuned me on 
 every point to give them that satisfaction which disordered 
 minds invariably seek. My only response would be the 
 enacting of some feat, or the exercise of my ventriloquial 
 power, which startled them the more, and increased their 
 anxiety ; yet, notwithstanding, I wag the recipient of their 
 well-known courtesies and hospitalities. 
 
 The theatre I occupied was nightly filled to overflowing, 
 and the sensation I produced was emphatically impressed 
 upon all. Some manifested dismay and gloom; others 
 grasped the hands of companions, and there was no detrac- 
 
SEFOSE THE ALCALDE. 385 
 
 tion from the usual inventions in regard to my proceedings, 
 which produced special eifect upon the ignorant minded, 
 who fully believed I had given a bond to the father of all 
 sin, to serve his purposes, and enjoy and exercise a power 
 strange and fearful, such as no Christian would undertake 
 or covet. "With this possession a terrible doom was sup- 
 posed to await me, and at an allotted time I was to consign 
 my body to the pains and miseries of purgatory. This idea 
 extended generally, and some few fanatical individuals com- 
 plained of me to the chief magistrate. They proclaimed 
 me a dangerous person, and that the peace and good of 
 society required I should be examined. 
 
 Battle with the Bees. 
 
 The Alcalde, a vain, conceited man, whose brain com- 
 prised but little depth of thought, himself had faith in the 
 rumor that so disturbed the public. This official at once 
 enclosed his card, requesting me to call at my earliest con- 
 venience, which I lost no time in complying with. 
 
 I found this dignitary an emaciated, shrivelled up, elder- 
 ly person, with a fierce expression of countenance, indica- 
 tive of passion and tyranny. His first words were delivered 
 with an assumed softness, — 
 
 "Ah! Signor Blitz ; much pleasure in meeting you." 
 
 I replied, through an interpreter, " Happy to make your 
 acquaintance." 
 
 Said the Alcalde, " Signor, you are turning the people's 
 heads with what you term demonology. What master have 
 you studied ? " 
 
 " The only great and true one — Nature." 
 
 This discomposed his honor for a moment. 
 
 "But you must," he continued, " follow the rales that 
 governed your predecessors in ancient magic, or how dould 
 you obtain such power over the senses ? The cabalistic art 
 17 
 
386 BATTLE WITS TSE BEES. 
 
 is, I know, an unearthly science — one tliat revels in the 
 midnight choruses of the enchanter's councils." 
 
 "I never, sir, consulted the living or the dead. My 
 success depends upon my manipulating qualifications and 
 the failure of the observers to direct their reason and sight .' 
 to circumstances as they transpire, v^hich provides me with 
 advantages so incomprehensible to you and bthers. All 
 men are absent-minded, and as one faculty will betray the 
 others, it is no wonder we hear and view deficiently of aU 
 facts." 
 
 "This may be so with those whose vision and hearing 
 are impaired, but not in regard to those whose mental or- 
 gans are harmonious and centralized." 
 
 " But those people are very scarce," I replied. 
 
 " I consider myself one of this character," he energet- 
 ically, and with self-confidence, exclaimed. 
 
 " "Well, sir, it is flattering to your perception." 
 
 " Yes ; I am a man you cannot impose upon or falsdy 
 impress." ilTow at this precise time he was annoyed by the 
 buzzing of a bee. "I only state," he contiuued, "my ex- 
 perience in matters that commonly provoke the world." 
 Here the bee buzzed to its utmost capacity, and to the great 
 annoyance of the speaker. " A bee is an insect I detest 
 above all others," he observed, moving his hands with great 
 velocity! 
 
 I remarked that they were unwelcome visitors. 
 
 Here there was an accumulation of bees, industriously 
 humming and buzzing around his head and shoulders. This 
 increased provocation obliged him to renew the tossing of 
 his hands in every possible direction, with great vexation 
 of manner and theatrical effect. 
 
 "You seem to have an invasion of the troublesome in- 
 sects." 
 
 " Yes ; some bee-hive has been upset," he. angrily mut- 
 
TSS KING BEE, SST 
 
 tered ; " but I don't like their company," — }m hands be- 
 ing in active motion as he was further provoked by the 
 "buzz, buzz," when, finding himself overcome, and with 
 the perspiration on his brow, he attempted a hasty retreat, 
 when I coolly walked up to him and buzzed in his face, in 
 this manner announcing myself the king bee. 
 
 " Is it possible I have been so deceived ?" he murmured, 
 with amazed looks. 
 
 " Tes, sir. Tou see you are not impervious to the false 
 conceptions you accuse others of." 
 
 "Most true, Signor. It is a moral for the future; I 
 shall never forget my battle with the bees, and always hold 
 you in remembrance for your skill and waggery, also your 
 happy illustration of man's infirmities." 
 
 This triumph over the principal administrator of justice 
 was auspicious and opportune. It gave not only a rebuke to 
 the parties who advocated my indictment for a wizard and 
 of being a dangerous person, but Hkewise silenced those 
 whose feeble imaginations were restless and discontented, as 
 they could no longer hope for the intervention of the law 
 to satisfy their fanatical and malevolent spirits, for I had 
 conquered the chief power — ^the only one able to molest or 
 injure me. The alcalde, when consulted in regard to my 
 legitimate course, did not hesitate to declare I was in every 
 way a. rational being, without guile, and accomplished my 
 feats by the extraordinary perfection of my peculiar talents, 
 and that his own experience had convinced him that the 
 sinftil acts imputed to me were without foundation ; that I 
 was more a benefit than a harm, for I dissipated those theo- 
 ries that had prevailed, and given importance to the most 
 simple principles from the dark ages until the present. 
 
 All farther endeavors to persecute me ceased, but 
 opinions as to my life continued varied and unabated. In 
 the meantime, so general was the -attention I en^ossed, 
 
3a8 TME ELEQANTLT-DRE8SED LADY. 
 
 that numbers followed me continually through the streets, 
 watching every step and pause I made. Numbers would 
 urge me to fill their pockets with gold, and change old 
 and tattered clothing to new, with many more preposter- 
 ous requests which these poor deluded people honestly be- 
 lieved me capable of performing. Such exhibitions of feeble 
 rainds are melancholy illustrations of how deep and serious 
 are the impressions produced by superstition. Is it not a - 
 deplorable dereliction from duty on the part of any gov- 
 ernment to wilfully neglect the education of the mind, and 
 thus keep the unfortimate masses in the fetters of ignorance 
 and degradation? 
 
 Every device was invented for the purpose of discover- 
 ing the philosopher's stone, or the talisman which report 
 gave me credit for possessing. There was no end to these 
 speculations, but they were so conflicting that it was amus- 
 ing to listen to them, while my success continued unabated, 
 esDecially as I constantly introduced new attractions. 
 
 One morning I was waited upon by an elegantly-dressed 
 lady, of middle age, who, in presenting herself, said that 
 the object of her visit was to ascertain if I could give her 
 information in regard to a property litigation in which she 
 was interested, and whether she would gain her suit. It 
 was impossible for me to satisfy her mind, as I was unac- 
 quainted with the circumstances ; and even with the most 
 favorable knowledge it was not in my power to anticipate 
 events, as I was not gifted with the art of divination. She 
 was evidently prepared for this reply, as she continued, — 
 
 " Have you not made a doubtful confession, Signer, for 
 one whose touch is like Prospero's wand?" 
 
 "You are extravagant, Signora, in your appreciation of 
 my genius." 
 
 " E'o, no ; you are the king of miracles." . 
 
 "I make no presumption to that title, Signora." 
 
OOOD DEEDS. 
 
 389 
 
 "Why," she continued, with a declamatory earnestness, 
 " you give strength to the sick, provide happiness for the 
 miserable, and wealth for the poor. What is there you are 
 unable to accomplish? Surely you know my fiiture, es- 
 pecially if you allow me to relate my history." 
 
 To this I consented, which I will give, as nan-ated by 
 her, in the next chapter. 
 
CHAPTEE XXXni. 
 
 THE SPEAIOTTG POETEATT. 
 
 ( HKRE shall I conunence," said slie, 
 " to tell my sad story, and the great in- 
 justice that I have experienced? My 
 parents were natives of Cuba, dearly de- 
 voted to the interest and prosperity of 
 the island, neither were their feelings and attachments less 
 ardent toward the Spanish crown, for they fully believed 
 and maintained that the rights and prerogatives of kings 
 were necessary and absolute. My father, through, the in- 
 fluence of his family connections, obtained a commission in 
 the army, a position he greatly desired. His strict and un- 
 wearied attention to his official duties, and the pride and in- 
 terest which he manifested for its great improvement and 
 tone of character, attracted the attention of his superiors, 
 who advanced his promotion rapidly. Perhaps the ser^ce 
 had no better disciplinarian, or one so admirably calculated 
 to perfect its status among the grand armies. 
 
 " For a long period he was employed on the island, but 
 when war was proclaimed between the adherents of Don 
 Carlos, the usurper, and the rightful heir to the throne of 
 Spain, he became a faithful partizan of the latter, defending 
 his rights with not only distinguished valor, but with the 
 contribution of his fortune, which was princely. Previous 
 to embarking for the field of glory, he disposed of his prop- 
 erty, all of which he patriotically presented to the govern- 
 
TSE SAB FARSWULL. 391, 
 
 ment, reserving fifty thousand dollars as a contingency for 
 my mother in case of his death. This sum he entrusted to 
 the care of his most intimate friend, Don Felix, between 
 •whom and my lather there existed an affection and confi- 
 dence so pure and unsullied that they were called Damon 
 and Pythias. Born and educated ia the same locality, par- 
 ticipants in all youthfid enjoyments and .pleasures, they ad- 
 vanced in life inseparable in feeling and action, with the 
 one exception that Don Felix was engaged in commercial 
 pursuits, while my father was devoted to a military Hfe. 
 They held each other's honor as sacred ; therefore no re- 
 beipts or papers were given or required. 
 
 " As the time approached for my father to leave his na- 
 tive island, Don Felix became moved with grief and melan- 
 choly. He could not meet what appeared to him to be the 
 terrible dispensation of parting with the companion of his 
 earlier and later years. It provoked a dark and gloomy as- 
 pect, an apprehension that they would never meet again. 
 The effect upon my father was quite the opposite; his 
 warm devotion to his friend, and the noble traits he was en- 
 dowed with, had no parallel, and although the separation 
 deeply agitated his mind, yet those emotions yielded to a 
 higher sense of duty and consideration — a love of country, 
 an abiding interest in defending the national vrill. These 
 obligations imposed themselves so emphatically as to the 
 line of action he should pursue, that he did not hesitate to 
 sacrifice his social and private endearments for the public 
 good. This was not, however, accomplished without his 
 experiencing the most touching pangs. It was impossible 
 to erase from memory the scenes of his boyish days, how 
 he had wandered with Don FeUx in the groves, and shel- 
 tered themselves from the burning sun beneath tlae luxuri- 
 ant foliage of the palm and orange trees. He looked upon 
 the past as the panorama of a pleasant life, for memory, 
 
392 OFF TO THE BATTLE-FIELD. 
 
 ever active, ■would bring before him fresh and vivid recol- 
 lections of bright and joyous days and happy hours he had 
 spent beneath skies bright and cloudless. 
 
 " As time advanced, my father and Don Felix, ever in- 
 separable, passed their leisure hours in solacing each other; 
 it vfas mournful to hear and witness their conversation, 
 how joy and sorrow mingled as they pictured the changes 
 which destiny had decreed. 
 
 " When the morning arrived for the final separation, the 
 whole city was alive with excitement. The bells of churches 
 and convents tolled a farewell in language of their own 
 metallic ring ; the private dwellings and public offices were 
 decorated with flags and other complimentary emblems. 
 
 "At noon, my father, at the head of his regiment, 
 marched from the garrison, escorted by various troops and 
 their bands. The streets and housetops 'were filled with 
 masses of human beings, whose cheers and good words 
 echoed on the air. The blessings that escaped the lips, and 
 tears that moistened the eyes of the multitude, affected the 
 sympathy of the most stem and resolute. 
 
 "The wild hurrahs, the waving of hats and handker- 
 chiefs, mingled with the sweet strains of music, were unmis- 
 takable evidences that the hearts of the people were with the 
 gallant men about to leave their homes and country. It was 
 an ovation honorable' and remarkable in the annals of the 
 island. The farewell scene between my father and mother 
 cannot be depicted. The embracing and tears would have 
 moved the coldest observer, for past joys, future fears and 
 hopes, were mingled in their minds and feelings. It was a 
 struggle between love and honor. To the last moment 
 they were insensible to surrounding objects and the passing 
 observations of strangers. They knew of nothing" worldly 
 beyond the fond love for each other, which, however seem- 
 ingly selfish, was natural to the occasion. 
 
HON FELIX IN A SMALL BOAT. 393 
 
 " My fond father devoured me witli kisses, and bade my 
 mother to live for my sake, that in due time I woidd he- 
 come her companion and confidante, — a comfort and bless- 
 ing, as he fondly trusted. 
 
 "The bugle sounded for all to be on board, yet my 
 father made no movement to obey until the last signal was 
 given to weigh anchor, when, with lightning velocity and 
 considerable physical strength, he withdrew himself from 
 my mother's arms, and, with unusual agihty, succeeded in. 
 reaching the boat as it was making its final return, plying 
 its course midst the thundering echoes of the guns of the 
 forts, and acclamations of thousands of people. 
 
 " When my father reached the ship he was greeted by 
 his friend, who was present, by mutual arrangement, to 
 take a last adieu. Their manly characters yielded to the 
 sorrows of the moment. It was a conflict of no ordinary 
 power : not a fictitious sensibility, but asterling appreciation 
 of each other's virtues. With clasped hands and saddened 
 features, they talked of the days when freedom to them had 
 no boundary, or life a seeming mystery. 
 
 " Thus time was consumed until the ship and her con- 
 sorts had long passed the Moro Castle. This fact was com- 
 mimicated to them by the captain, who also intimated the 
 approach of a storm, and as my father's friend had but a 
 small boat, he would suggest, as a matter of prudence, that 
 he^should return to the city without a moment's delay, for 
 by so doing he might escape serious consequences. This 
 information, so unexpected and alarming, effectually ter- 
 minated the parting scene. Don Felix's head fell upon the 
 neck of my father, whose hands were boimd around his 
 friend with an iron grasp. After this manifestation of feel- 
 ing they went to the vessel's side, when Don Felix de- 
 scended the ladder into the boat, which was speedily loos- 
 ened, and directed toward the city, already many miles dis- 
 17* 
 
394 A BVBBICANM AT SEA. 
 
 tant.- The winds and waves were fast beeonting angry, as 
 the motion of the ship gave evidence. My father stood, 
 watched, and turned a hundred times toward the boat, 
 which was only occasionally visible, riding on the surging 
 sea, and when last seen, was rolhng and ploughing with 
 desperate efforts, the raging deep. 
 
 " As night advanced, the clouds darkened and the storm 
 increased terrifically ; for it seemed as if all the boisterous 
 elements of heaven and sea had combined their forces to 
 devastate and destroy. No one — ^not even the oldest sea- 
 man — remembered its equal. The position of the ship was 
 critical and dangerous in the extreme ; yet nobly she bat- 
 tled with the tempest, trembling from bow to stem. Her 
 saUs were torn and spars broken, while amid all the wild 
 tempest, crash after crash was heard. My father, uncon- 
 scious, as well as indifferent, to all personal danger, turned 
 his thoughts to his- wife, child, and dear friend, respecting 
 whose safety he was exceedingly anxious. He pictured the 
 little boat, her frail structure struggling amidst the foaming 
 surf. The more he reflected, the more his thoughts were 
 troubled. 
 
 " Morning at length dawned, and the mighty winds and 
 raging billows had quelled their strife, and, gradually, a 
 gorgeous sun imveiled his grandeur. The sky betrayed a 
 smiling softness — an omen that peace and harmony pre- 
 vailed ; and now the ship was repaired as she pursued her 
 course, arriving in Spain after an unusually rapid passage. 
 
 " Not so fortunate was Don Fehx. His tender craft for 
 a time, like the stormy petrel, pierced the maddened waters, 
 and bounded over their white-peaked caps with a fairy grace, 
 as if she held the enchanted wand. For miles she rode 
 thus at the mercy of the gale, and was tossed by the angry 
 waves, yet the occupants were inspired with hope. It was 
 a miracle-how she maintained herself: it was not by skill 
 
DEATH OF BON FELIX. 395 
 
 oi' human wisdom, but ty a perfect submission to the vio- 
 lence of the hurricane. The endurance of the sufferers 
 was not less marvellous. They sustained themselves with a 
 pertinacious fortitude, suitable for the occasion. But God 
 did not intend their escape : a few hours brought them near 
 the shore, when the boat was dashed to pieces by the treach- 
 erous sea. The skipper, who alone was saved by clinging 
 to a rock, heard the piteous cries for help, but darkness and 
 the necessity of saving his own life made it impossible to 
 render the least assistance. 
 
 " This misfortune produced the greatest sorrow and 
 mourning, for Don Felix was much beloved for his philan- 
 thropy and nobleness of character. It was a sad event — an 
 irreparable loss to the community, and pecuniarily disas- 
 trous to my mother. 
 
 "When the death of Don Felix was commuiucated to 
 my father, his grief and pain was great.' His manly mien 
 was depressed and dejected, operating on his sensitive mind 
 so seriously as to affect its usual firmness of purpose ; but 
 this feeling, though it never ceased to exist, soon became 
 absorbed in his daily military duties. The sick and wound- 
 ed were the constant recipients of his attention, and while 
 the principles and associations of life, with all their endear- 
 ments, were nevertheless sacred to his heart, they did not 
 impair the interest in the conflict ; for, day and night, his 
 active spirit animated the indolent and inspired the brave, 
 the necessity of which was indispensable. 
 
 "Man is an excitable being when interested, and oft- 
 times, blood alone will assuage or satisfy his passions. It is 
 mournful for the mind to reflect on this failing. To ac- 
 count for this imperfection in nature has ever been a theme 
 for the philosopher. 
 
 "War, unfortunately, continued, as usual, with all the 
 horrors imaginabk.' The sight, of the dying, the cries of 
 
39C THE CIVIL WAS IN SPAIN. 
 
 the wounded, the suffering from hunger and thirst, can be 
 but feebly portrayed. 
 
 " My father was not a sentimentalist. His conduct was 
 ruled by an action of principle. He fought, as he con- 
 ceived, for his lawful sovereign. The fatigue he endured, 
 gradually undermined his constitution, but he remained de- 
 voted to his post. The engagements were active and reso- 
 lute, with an unrelenting determination. Though frequent- 
 ly defeated, they rallied and obtained reinforcements, in 
 defiance of every obstacle. Their course was not popular 
 with the inhabitants of the mountain and rural districts, for 
 they loved the usurper Don Carlos, for his Jesuitical char- 
 acter interested their hearts. It was a civil war, with the 
 most frightful results. 
 
 "My father's health, in defiance of every precaution, 
 failed daily. His wounds, severe marches, and the fatigue 
 of the camp, completely incapacitated him for exertion or 
 duty. It was a misfortune to the army and the cause to 
 which he was devoted. His medical advisers urged for him 
 an immediate leave of absence, with the earnest hope that 
 rest and change of scene might not fail to recuperate his 
 strength. 
 
 " The announcement, though not unexpected, was re- 
 ceived with universal regret and an imanimous prayer for 
 his speedy restoration. My father at first peremptorily de- 
 clined to separate himself from his comrades ; he knew 
 the important necessity of every officer's presence, and its 
 moral effect upon the ardor of the troops. This resolution 
 ho was unable to sustain : his feebleness increased until utter 
 -prostration compelled submission. 
 
 " Accompanied by a faithful servant, he proceeded to 
 the south of France to seek health, that golden treasure 
 without which man is indeed poor. He wrote my mother 
 constantly, with all the warmth of a lover. Every letter 
 
DEATH OF A NOBLE SOH>TEB. 397 
 
 was a clironicle of events. Instantly upon Ms arrival in 
 France, he informed my mother of the perilons state of his 
 health, and that, if in a brief time he realized no advantage, 
 it would be prudent and advisable for her to join him in 
 Europe. 
 
 "My mother's fears increased hourly, which, together 
 with an excitable brain, brought on a fever, and for many 
 days she lingered unconscious of anything that took place, 
 her friends and attendants despairing of her life. Favora- 
 ble symptoms, however, appeared, and she rallied. 
 
 " My father, with every benefit that skill and a balmy 
 atmosphere combined could give, and with the best possible 
 attention, obtained no relief, but gradually his shattered life 
 calmly declined as the setting sun. His heart, bright with 
 expectation, wandered over the broad waters to my mother 
 and myself, with an affection inseparable and undivided. 
 Nobly he. fought the battle of life, and now his gentle na^ 
 ture, content and grateful for the past, brightly visioned the 
 fdture. The only affliction he felt was the absence of those 
 he loved ; but their presence was denied him. The destroy- 
 ing angel, true to his Master's law, was imperative; he 
 came to obtain his own, not with vengeance, but a slow and 
 patient forbearance. As night put on her sable mantle, and 
 the busy scenes of life were at rest, his mortal spirit happily 
 and serenely passed away into the kingdom of righteous- 
 ness. His last words were for his wife and child. 
 
 " When my mother was notified of the event, she be- 
 came delirious, and ultimately a confirmed maniac. The 
 community of Havana were overwhelmed with gloom. 
 Ifo efforts were unheeded to console her broken heart, or 
 alleviate her mental suffering ; but reason had fled, and in 
 a short time her spirit joined that of my father, in the 
 realms of heaven. Her burial was one of mourning; not 
 of pomp or affectation, but of sincerity and affection. 
 
398 DEFBAUDINQ AN OBPBAN. 
 
 " Time, while it softens our trials, does not eradicate 
 their reality. The loss of both of my parents was a dis- 
 tressing affliction. A friend of my mother's kindly — ^not 
 from impulse, but feeling — received me as a member of his 
 family for a long period ; but a true sensibility of what was 
 just to him, and honorable to my own independence, dic- 
 tated my removal. 
 
 "After the settlement of my father's estate, but little 
 remained, with the exception -of the fifty thousand dollars 
 he gave in trust to Don Felix, in behalf of my mother and 
 myself. His ample means, with this exception, had, as I 
 before stated, been devoted to the war. My only reliance 
 was, therefore, upon the payment to me of this sum. This 
 was refused by the brother of Don Felix, Eaymond Fehx, 
 and who was heir to his estate. His refusal was based upon 
 the want of proof, on my part, that the money was ever in- 
 trusted by my father to the care of Don Ferdinand FeHx. 
 The result of this misfortune arose from the great confi- 
 dence existing between the latter and my father being so 
 abiding and mutual that they had no reference to death, or 
 the necessity of an obligation in case of an emergency. 
 
 " The refusal to refund the sum to me has occasioned an 
 appeal to the courts of law, where I had hoped to recover 
 my legal rights, but the wealth and position of my oppo- 
 nent has enabled him to postpone the trial from term to 
 term, tiU I am discouraged, and I now beseech you to em- 
 ploy your profession in my cause, and impress, either by 
 art or reasoning, the justice of my suit. I know you can 
 bring influences to bear upon the minds of others, that are 
 irresistible." 
 
 " I have listened to your history with much interest," I 
 replied; "and nothing would add so much satisfaction to 
 myself as to be instrumental in your obtaining the restitu- 
 tion of your rights ; but I fear I cannot." 
 
ASSISTANCE PSOMISEJ). 399 
 
 " Oh ! sir, do not express yotirself so empliatieally, for 
 you have only to consult the oracles of didblerie to insure 
 success." 
 
 " It is out of the question to presume for a moment that 
 I can exercise any potent will upon a man whose principles 
 are. deficient of those attributes which contribute nobleness 
 to character. A thought has, however, impressed me, 
 which, if it is possible to execute, I may afford you impor- 
 tant assistance. I will endeavor to obtaiu an interview 
 with Senor Eaymond Felix, and if I find my endeavors to 
 induce him to acknowledge your rights a failure, I will ap- 
 ply a course which I think will be successful." 
 
 This announcement greatly animated my visitor's coun- 
 tenance, and excited her ardent hopes, so that she left me 
 satisfied in the belief of the fulfilment of her ardent wish. 
 
 It was a serious and responsible undertaking on my 
 part, for the person I had to encounter was a man of strong 
 nerve and mind, abounding in strong prejttdices; conse- 
 quently it became the more requisite to be prepared for any 
 opposition that might arise. I therefore made it a point to 
 obtaiu an interview with him in the evening, concluding it 
 to be more advantageous to discuss important matters at a 
 time when the mind was released from business cares and 
 responsibilities. 
 
 My introduction was of a character fraught with appre- 
 hension and difflcidly ; for in relating my mission and its 
 object, he appeared cool and collected, questioned me as to 
 my motive and interest in the affair. " It is," he said, " a 
 delicate interposition on your part, an entire stranger to all 
 parties concerned, and unless you came possessed of the 
 most incontrovertible proof of the indebtedness of my 
 brother's estate to the daughter of his friend, I must de- 
 cline discussing the subject." 
 
 I remarked that I Came as a friend, provided with the 
 
400 THE SPEAKING PORTRAIT. 
 
 most undoubted and unanswerable facts, so positive that 
 they left not a doubt of their correctness, and they ex- 
 plained themselves in connection with the intimacy, af- 
 fection,, and confidence which commenced in youth, and 
 continued through manhood. It was almost conclusive tes- 
 timony in respect to Don Felix being the repository of the 
 amount claimed. 
 
 He combated my argument, and finally closed by de- 
 claring the improbability of the money ever being received 
 without a written acknowledgment, or, at least, a memoran- 
 dum of the transaction. 
 
 " That such a matter could have taken place, I am posi- 
 tive," he spoke with much spirit and assurance, "was 
 utterly impossible ; and if that picture of my brother" — 
 pointing to a portrait suspended on the wall — " could speak, 
 it would declare the falsity of the claim." 
 
 " No, no," said a voice, coming from the likeness, " not 
 so. I received the money, and desire its prompt paynlent, 
 for the sake of justice to, and happiness ofj the child of my 
 fiiend, who is now in heaven with me." 
 
 These words produced the most thrilling effect upon 
 Senor Eaymond Felix, who withdrew his chair from the 
 table, under great excitement, and, for full two minutes, 
 gazed wildly at the painting. Kecovering himself, he ex- 
 pressed his conviction of the marvellous intervention of 
 Providence, and the undeniable justice of Colonel Alonzo's 
 daughter's claim to the inheritance, of which, he assured 
 me, he should make immediate restitution. 
 
 " Will you accompany me to her residence, that in your 
 presence I may give a check for the full sum?" 
 
 " Honorable brother ! Justice at last ! " exclaimed the 
 portrait. 
 
 Tears flowed copiously from the eyes of Senor Eay- 
 mond, as he turned them toward the magic tone of his 
 
SENOJRITA ALONZO OBTAINS HER FORTUNE. 401 
 
 brother's voice. Excusing his absence, he retired to an ad- 
 joining apartment much agitated, and overcome with men- 
 tal agony. In a reasonable time he returned with a check 
 for the principal sum and interest. We proceeded, without 
 delay, to the residence of Senorita Alonzo, whom we for- 
 tunately found at home. Our appearance was unexpected, 
 and our object even more so. She manifested great delight, 
 and upon receiving the check, her feelings nearly over- 
 powered her. She wept and smiled alternately : it was a 
 struggle between doubt and certainty, — a romance in real 
 life, and, withal, a triumph of her father's honor, and justi- 
 fication of her own rightftd claim and course taken to ob- 
 tain it. 
 
 Th« conclusion is not void of a moral that truth is 
 greater than fiction, or that the most difficult point may be 
 gained by the ingenious skill of a ventriloquist, whose 
 special object in life has been both to amuse and do good, 
 by rendering the service of his art to the sick, poor, needy, 
 and oppressed. 
 
 From Senorita Alonzo I received every demonstration 
 that could emanate from a grateful heart. Her thanks 
 knew no limit, and she offered to place at my disposal any 
 portion of the money I had been instrumental in securing 
 for her. This, of course, I absolutely refused, satisfied with 
 the reward of being the oracle that obtained for her the for- 
 tune. It may be gratifying to my readers to be informed 
 that she was finally married to a wealthy planter, who ap- 
 preciated her worth, and honored her love in the circle of 
 a family of children. She was not less inspired with the 
 graces of a sweet nature, than she was courted and admired 
 by society at large, for her virtue, liberality, and great kind- 
 ness to the poor and needy. 
 
CHAPTEE XXXIV. 
 
 TMCIDENTS AND ADVENTUBES ELSEWHEEE. 
 
 EK.T soon after my return from 
 my West India tour, I had occar 
 sion to travel in many States, 
 and as a natural consequence, 
 met -with many comical erents 
 and droU adventures, some few 
 of whicli I will here relate. 
 
 The Landlord and His Guest. 
 
 A few years since, in tlie dusk of evening, while trav- 
 elling through Virginia, in a sulky, leisurely pursuing my 
 way, I overtook a negro going home from ploughing, who 
 was singing the favorite Ethiopian melody — 
 
 " Gwine down to Shin-bone Alley, 
 Long time ago." 
 
 I hailed him : " Halloo, uncle ! " 
 
 " Sah ?" said Blackey, holding in his horses. 
 
 " Is that the Half-way House a-head yonder ?" 
 
 "No, sah, dat Massa Billy Lemon's 'Otel." 
 
 " Hotel, eh ? Billy Lemon ? " 
 
 " Yes, sah. Tou know Massa Billy — ^he used to lib at 
 de mouf o' Cedar Crick. He done move now — ^keeps mon- 
 s'ous nice tavern now, I tell you ! " 
 
 "Indeed!" 
 
TSE UrUSIOAL QUASH. 403 
 
 "Yes, sah. You stop dah dis ebenin', I suppose? 
 all ^spectable gentlemen put up dah. You chaw 'baeca, 
 Massa?" 
 
 " Yes, Sambo, here's real Cavendish for you." 
 
 " Tankee, Massa, tankee, sah ; Quash my name." 
 
 "Quash, eh?" 
 
 " Yes, sah, at your service. 0-oh ! " grunted the de- 
 lighted African, " dis is nice ; he better 'an Green Kiber ; 
 tankee, sah, tankee." 
 
 " "Well, Quash, what kind of a gentleman is Mr. Lemon ? " 
 
 "Oh! he nice man, sah, mons'ous nice man, sah — omen- 
 s' ous nice man; empetain genplemen in the fuss style, and he 
 take care ob de horses. I 'longs to him, and do I say it, 
 Massa BiU mighty clebby man ; he funny, too, — ^tell heap 
 o' stories about ghosses and spirits, notwithstandin' he 'fraid 
 on 'em heself, my 'pinion." 
 
 "Afraid of ghosts, eh?" said I, musing. "Well, go 
 ahead, Mr. Quash ; as it's getting late, I'll tarry with this 
 Mr. Lemon to-night." 
 
 " Yes, sah. Gree up, hoa ! go 'long, lively ! " and set- 
 ting off at a brisk trot, followed by myself, the musical 
 Quash again broke out with, — 
 
 " Gwine down to Shin-bone Alley." 
 
 The burthen, " Long time ago," was taken up by some onfe 
 apparently in an adjacent cornfield, which occasioned Quash 
 again to prick up his ears with some surprise. He contin- 
 ued, however, with — 
 
 " Dak I meet ole Johnny Gladdin " 
 
 and the same voice responded from the cornfield, — 
 " Long time ago." 
 
404 • qUASH AND BIS MASTEB. 
 
 ""Who dat?" said the astonished negro, cheeking sud- 
 denly his horses, and looking around on every side for the 
 cause of his surprise. 
 
 " Oh ! never mind ; drive a-head. Snowball. It's some 
 of yoiir master's spirits, I suppose." 
 
 Quash, in a very thoughtful mood, led the way to the 
 tavern, without uttering another word. Halting before the 
 door, I was very soon waited upon by the obliging Mr. 
 Lemon, a bustling, talkative gentleman, who greeted me 
 with, — 
 
 " 'Light, sir, 'light — ^here, John ! Quash ! — ^never mind 
 your umbrella, sir — ^here. Quash ! take off that rug — ^give me 
 your whip, sir — ^take off that trunk — walk in, sir-^John, 
 .take out the chair-box — come, sir — ^and carry this horse to 
 the stable — do you prefer him to stand on a chip-floor, 
 sir?" 
 
 " If you please, sir ; he's rather particular about his 
 lodgings." 
 
 " Carry him to the lower stable. Quash, and tend to him 
 well. I always like to see horses well tended, and this is a 
 noble critter, too," continued the landlord, slapping him on 
 the back. 
 
 " Take carfe, will you ! " said the horse. 
 
 " What the d— 1 ! " exclaimed the landlord, starting back. 
 
 "None of your familiarity!" said the horse, looking 
 "round at the astonished tavern-keeper. 
 
 "Silence, Beelzebub!" said I, caressing the animal; 
 and, turning to the landlord, observed, " You must excuse 
 him, sir. He's rather an aristocratic horse — ^the effect of 
 education, sir." 
 
 ""Woa, hoa, Beelzebub! Loose the traces. Quash. 
 "What are you staring at ? He won't eat you." 
 
 " Come, landlord," said Beelzebub, " I want my oats." 
 
 Quash scattered ; the landlord backed up into the porch, 
 
TBE ATTENTIVE LANDLORD. 406 
 
 and I was feign to jump into my vehicle and drive round 
 in search of the stables myself. Succeeding to my satisfac- 
 tion in disposing of the horse, with some assistance from 
 Quash, who was carefiil to keep his distance, I returned to 
 the tavern. 
 
 Anon supper came on. The eggs aU had chickens in 
 them. The landlord was in confusion at such a mortifying 
 circumstance, and he promised me amends from a cold pig, 
 which, as he inserted the carving-fork, uttered a most 
 piercing squeal, which was responded to by a louder one 
 from the landlady. Down went the knife and fork, and the 
 cold perspiration began to grow in large beads upon the 
 forehead of the poor landlord, as he stood looking fearfully 
 at the grunter. His attention was soon taken, however, by 
 voices from without, calling, — 
 
 "Halloa, landlord!" 
 
 "Aye, coming, gentlemen. More travellers. Do help 
 yourself, sir." 
 
 "Landlord!" 
 
 "Coming, gentlemen. Here, John, a light — ^bring a 
 light to the door. Sally, wait on the gentleman ! " and out 
 the landlord bounced, followed by John, with lights, but 
 soon returned, with a look of disappointment. He declared 
 that there was no living being without. 
 
 The voices called again ; and the landlord, going out, 
 returned a second time, declaring his belief that the whole 
 plantation was haunted that night by evil spirits. 
 
 I presently arose from the table and drew my chair to- 
 ward the fire, having made a pretty hearty supper from the 
 eggs and young porker, their cries to the contrary notwith- 
 standing. 
 
 That night, rumor saith, Mr. Billy Lemon slept with 
 the Bible under his head, and kept a candle burning ; and 
 those who pass there to this day, may, upon close examina- 
 
406 ACCIDENT ON TBE BOAD. 
 
 tion, discover the heels of old horseshoes peering, above the 
 door casement, as a bulwark against the witches, hobgob- 
 lins, and all other evil spirits. 
 
 In the morning I gave my name to mine host, who 
 shortly afterward made out the following biU : 
 
 Signor BUtz cmd his EdMcated Sorse, 
 
 To WiUia/m Lemon, De. 
 
 To Board for self and horse, - $5.00 
 
 "William Lemok. 
 
 I paid the amount, and left with the good wishes of the 
 landlord and his wife. 
 
 A Surprise-Party Surprised. 
 
 One pleasant evening, between eleven and twelve 
 o'clock, a surprise-party from the southern section of the 
 city of Philadelphia, entered a car at Fairmount, for the 
 purpose of returning home. The party consisted of four- 
 teen females and as many males. Of course, the car was 
 crowded, and a more joyful number of friends never got 
 together. I was seated in a comer, wearing a slouched felt 
 hat, drawn partly over my face, and appeared as though , 
 asleep. Various pleasantries were indulged in between the 
 happy ones, as the car moved homeward. 
 
 Presently the horses stumbled, and the wheels bounded 
 over a turnout, when " O my ! I'm killed ! " came as a voice 
 from beneath the car. 
 
 "There is somebody run over!" exclaimed several of 
 the young ladies. 
 
 " It's Charlie," said another ; " I know his voice." 
 
 " Oh ! my legs ! How can I walk ? " was next heard. 
 
 The car was speedily partly emptied, and a search was 
 made under aad around th^ wheels and rear platform, but- 
 
TRICKS PLAYED ON BOTM SIDES. 40? 
 
 no crushed individual could be found, and no one could 
 divine the reason of the outcry. All felt sure that some- 
 body was injured ; but on assuring themselves that nothing 
 of the kind had occurred, returned, and the car passed on 
 its way. 
 
 Among the party was a very pretty young lady, who 
 seemed to be lost in thought. Presently she gave a loud 
 snore. 
 
 "Wake up, Maggie, wake up!" said the one sitting 
 next to her, as she gave her a nudge. 
 
 " I'm not asleep ; I'm Only tired," she replied. 
 
 Then came another snore ; again another nudge. The 
 subject was the cause of much merriment, at the expense 
 of Maggie, who declared she was never more wide awake 
 in her life. 
 
 A canary bird now chirped in different parts of the car, 
 and the railroad time-keeper ticked much louder than usual. 
 A sort of an awfiil pause came over the whole party, as 
 though by enchantment. Everybody thought there was 
 something queer in these strange noises, but nobody could 
 tell the reason. 
 
 One young lady said, " Oh ! quit that ! Why don't you 
 behave yourself?" 
 
 Another said, " Well, I didn't enjoy myself at all." 
 
 "O Jennie! how could you say so?" remarked a gen- 
 tleman. 
 
 Thus thetime passed away, until at last I attempted to 
 leave the car ; but as I was elbowing my way out, the light 
 shone full in my face and revealed my features, when I soon 
 found myself in a tight place, for the young ladies would 
 not let me out before they reached the southern terminus 
 of the rputfe^ _but I experienced a delightful time, and was 
 so well pleased that I invited the whole party to attend my 
 entertainment in the Assembfy Building. ^ 
 
408 THE OLD TOM-CAT. 
 
 Old Scratch. 
 
 Contrary to my usual custom, I consented to stop at a 
 small town on my route through the British Provinces, by 
 the assurance of certain persons that it would pay me well, 
 for the amusements were scarce and the "free list" small. 
 I accordingly gave a short series of performances in a hall 
 at the principal hotel in the place, which was a large, old- 
 fashioned structure. 
 
 The haU was crowded to its fullest capacity on each of 
 the three evenings, and everything worked to a charm until 
 the last night, when a mischievous boarder conceived the 
 idea of varying the programme slightly. 
 
 One of the most popular parts in my exhibition was the 
 ventriloquism. I had an animated conversation with " Pe- 
 ter," in the chimney, which was situated on one side of the 
 hall, near the middle. The aforesaid boarder was aware 
 that the smoke-house, in which his daily sUce of bacon was 
 cured, was situated over the hall, and an aperture in the 
 main chimney at that spot gave access to the place, which 
 led from the fireplace of the ball-room. He captured a 
 large cat, a few minutes before the ventriloquism com- 
 menced, and ensconced himself in the smoke-house just 
 before I was to begin. When I called "Peter," he allowed 
 me to converse with the imaginary interlocutor for a short 
 time, without interruption ; but when I requested " Peter" 
 to come down near the fireplace for a little familiar chat, 
 the boarder's voice replied that he would see me in a certain 
 place of punishment first, and even then he wouldn't ! 
 
 I was scarcely able to conceal my astonishment at this 
 reply, but the audience thought I was outdoing myself, and 
 cheered me tremendously. 
 
 "Peter, come down, will you?" 
 
A RICS JOKE. 409 
 
 "See ye in my home first; but my name ain't Peter; 
 he keeps the keys of t'other place." 
 
 "What is your name?" 
 
 "I am Old Scratch." 
 
 The audience thought I was getting rather profane. I 
 knew I was a victim, but could think of nothing better 
 than to continue the talk. 
 
 "Are you Old Scratch, the fire king?" 
 
 "Yes." 
 
 " I would be happy to see Old Scratch here." 
 
 " Well, are you ready ! " 
 
 "Tes, aU ready." 
 
 The words had scarcely entered the chimney, when the 
 big tom-cat came tumbling and scratching down, filling my 
 eyes with soot, and the audience with uncontrollable laugh- 
 ter. 
 
 The cat's eyes glared like a flash of two lucifer matches, 
 and he disappeared with a bound. I was utterly discom- 
 fited, and compelled to close the performance without fin- 
 ishingthe last scene. 
 
 A Prison Scene, 
 
 During one of my visits to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, I 
 was induced very reluctantly to accompany some fiiends to 
 the prison, and see Hugh Carrigan, then under sentence of 
 death for murdering his wife. On arriving at the con- 
 demned man's cell, he was introduced, and expressed great 
 pleasure at seeing me, as he said he had heard a great deal 
 of my performances, but as he could not attend my place 
 of entertainment at this time, owing to events beyond his 
 control, he should be obliged if I would show him a trick 
 or two to gratify his curiosity. To this I objected, and re- 
 minded him of his fearful position ; that it would be im- 
 proper for me ta abstract his thoughts from more serious 
 18 
 
410 TOTAL DEPRAVITY BVT QUICK JUSTICE, 
 
 reflections, consequently lie nnist excuse my declining. He, 
 however, importuned me bo earnestly, that my companions 
 entreated me to comply. I consented, although quite re- 
 pugnant to my own feelings. I borrowed a twenty-five cent 
 piece, which I gave him to mark, so that he could recognize 
 it again. He procured a knife from one of the gentlemen, 
 and retired to one comer of the cell, where he carefully 
 made an incision on the piece of money. I then, after some 
 time, wished him to return me the quarter. He replied he 
 had not the money. I insisted he had. He searched his 
 pockets, and found it, greatly to his surprise and amaze- 
 ment. Eyeing me very closely for a few moments, he re- 
 quested me to repeat the feat, which I did, and again de- 
 sired him to hand back the piece of silver. This time he 
 protested quite violently, saying that I was mistaken, for he 
 had watched me very closely, and he was positive I had the 
 money myself. I finally prevailed upon him to feel in his 
 pockets once more, which he did, and again found the quar- 
 ter. He then scanned me more suspiciously than before, 
 and moved away, remarking he would " hate very much to 
 meet me in the dark ! " 
 
 I replied, " That was the place in which I should object 
 to encoimter him ! " 
 
 The wretched man murdered his wife on a Friday, burnt 
 her remains in the vicinity of his house on Saturday, went 
 to Pittsburg on Sunday, and Monday gave evidence before 
 the District Court; returned home, and was arrested on 
 Tuesday, tried and convicted Wednesday, and Thursday 
 sentenced to be hung; but a few days before the time ap- 
 pointed for his execution, he took poison, and thus ended 
 his career. 
 
 Carrigan was wealthy, and about sixty years of age. 
 He resided on a farm in "Westmoreland County, where he 
 conynitted the dreadful deed. He had a respectable appear- 
 
A SLEWS-RIDE, 411 
 
 ^nce, and from the little conversation I had with him, I 
 should judge him to be weU informed; but his habits of in- 
 temperance were of the most degraded and vicious charac- 
 ter, and while in this state he perpetrated the crime for 
 which he forfeited his life. 
 
 It is almost beyond belief that a being could be found 
 so totally depraved and indifferent to his own wickedness 
 and the punishment that awaited him by betraying so great 
 an interest in the frivolities of the world. What I exhibited 
 to him interested his mind far more earnestly than the great 
 tribunal beyond, before whom he had so shortly to appear. 
 The evil effects of drinking were probably never more sadly 
 illustrated. Here was a person well off in pecuniary mat- 
 ters, and when not excited by the demon liquor, his deport- 
 ment, I was informed, was stich as entitled him to the re- 
 spect of his feUow-men ; but he could not withstand the 
 temptation — ^thus his dreadful end. " 
 
 , A * M.ERRY Sleighing-Party, 
 
 Some years since, when the city and country were covered 
 with snow, and our streets literally thronged with sleighs,' 
 those of our ladies whose better-halves could not afford to 
 keep one of those convenient articles, usually availed them- 
 selves of a merry and cheap sleigh-ride in a public convey- 
 ance. On one of those days one of our public sleighs was 
 proceeding up Chestnut street in fine style, crowded with 
 men, women, and children, highly enjoying the ride, al- 
 though their noses exhibited a little touch of Jack Frost. 
 The horses were jogging along at a slow pace, when, com- 
 ing to one of those spots in the street where it was very 
 thickly thronged, the voice of a female cried out, — 
 
 " Driver, stop, I want to get out ! " 
 
 The driver pidled up and turned around, but no person 
 seemed ready to make their exit. The driver asked who 
 
412 TSE CONFUSED DRIVER. 
 
 told him to stop, Ijiit no one knew. He, however, came to 
 the conclusion he was mistaken ; so whack went the whip, 
 and jingle went the sleigh-beUs, and the horses into a slow 
 trot. They had not gone more than a scjuare, when the 
 gruff voice of a man spoke, — 
 
 " Hold up, driver." 
 
 Accordingly, the driver stopped, and turning to receive 
 his fare, the passengers looked at each other, but none of 
 them seemed to know who it was that spoke. 
 
 " Who told me to hold up ? " said the driver. 
 
 But no answer was made to his inquiiy. The driver 
 was evidently inclined to get angry. After receiving no 
 answer, he turned and started his horses, but when about to 
 turn into one of those storeets through which the line passes, 
 the voice of a child was heard, — 
 
 " Stop ! stop ! stop ! I want to get out ! " 
 
 The driver stopped his horses, but no one moved. 
 
 " Now, looker here, what do you folks mean ? Why, if 
 you keep me stopping aU day this way, I will never be able 
 to get to the end of my route," said the driver. 
 
 "Oh, drive on, do; I am cold and in a hurry to get 
 home," said the husky voice of a man. 
 
 On went the sleigh a^ain. When he had gone about a 
 block, all of a sudden titie' voice of a woman screamed out, 
 
 "Driver! driver! somebody is trying to pick my 
 pocket ! " 
 
 The driver turned quickly, and exclaimed, — 
 
 " Which one, madam, is it ? " 
 
 No one answered. 
 
 "Who was the lady that said somebody was trying to 
 pick her pocket ? " 
 
 "That's the lady, dressed in black," said a man's voice. 
 
 "Oh! ;what a whopper ! I said nothing of the kind," 
 exclaimed the lady in black, to the man opposite her. 
 
EXPOSURE. 413 
 
 " My dear madam, I said no such, thing," answered the 
 man, endeavoring to exonerate himself. 
 
 " Well, did you «ver ! " exclaimed the lady, in surprise. 
 
 At this state of affairs, a gent in the sleigh, being ia 
 somewhat of a hurry to get home, and seeing that a quarrel 
 was likely to ensue, said : 
 
 " Come, this is carrying the joke too far. Ladies and 
 gentlemen, Signor Blitz, the ventriloquist, is sitting here in 
 the corner." 
 
 This was enough ; the driver was about to storm out, 
 but it was of no use — a hearty la,ugh broke from all in the 
 sleigh. The driver seized his reins, and off went the horses 
 at a lively gait, and all hands seemed to enjoy the joke. 
 All was soon forgotten in the joyfiil sound of the sleigh-bells, 
 and the merry laughter of those flying over the crusty ice. 
 
CHAPTEE XXXV. 
 
 PHILADELPHIA, ABD THE GEEAT EEBELLIOIf. 
 
 HEN" I had returned from Havana, I located 
 myself permanently in Philadelphia, where 
 I am now residing with my family, very 
 comfortably situated in my own house, and 
 with ample means for all the necessaries 
 and comforts of life, surrounded also by a 
 host of very near and dear friends, whose 
 warm hearts and smiling faces always greet 
 and cheer me. 
 
 The gigantic civil war of 1861-5, called into existence 
 all the combined resources of the nation. Most liberal were 
 the contributions ; and the amount of good that was accom- 
 plished thereby, history has yet to record — ^previous to which 
 party spirit and all the bitter sensitiveness of the present 
 generation must pass away and be forgotten. How par 
 tiently a patriotic, charitable and feeling people can afford 
 to submit to the . necessity of time, to signalize their 
 magnanimity and greatness of heart, must rest upon the 
 conviction of having fulfilled the duties and obhgations dur- 
 ing a period of the most momentous trials and afflictions. 
 When loss of life and destruction of property, accompanied 
 by aU the horrors of war, were hourly exciting the fears 
 and sorrows of every age and class, how nobly were the 
 people developing all the best qualities of their nature, 
 without regard to pecuniary cost or labor ! Surely, the like 
 
JPATBIOTIO LADIES. 415 
 
 demonstration of pure generosity and touching evidences 
 of millions of people united in Christian sympathy has no 
 parallel in ancient or modern annals. Neither can we find 
 any similar amount of devotion and loyalty — where the 
 youth of every grade in society, separating themselves from 
 their families and homes, by vohinta/ril/y enlisting in the 
 ranks, shirking no responsibility or duty, however danger- 
 ous or fearftd, and being animated by a love of country and 
 its principles, immolated their lives with a heroism sacred 
 to memory and virtue. 
 
 "With what grace and humane tenderness did the masses 
 return their gratitude How, in conjunction with the Sani- 
 tary and Christian Commissions, did every community and 
 local district form Aid Societies, imder the direction and 
 influence of the ladies, and what wonderful results from 
 their labor and cooperation ! With what tenacity of pur- 
 pose they toiled, night and day, in the making of garments 
 to clothe and comfort the soldier in the perils of campaign — 
 to soothe his wounds and relieve his sufferings ! How like 
 guardian angels they visited the battle-fields and hospitals, 
 administering hope, consolation and religion, with every 
 possible attention, to the living and dying sufferers ! Great 
 self-denial and patriotic efforts were exhibited, no class -with- 
 holding their services, but cheerfully nursing the sick, and 
 dispensing those delicacies that were soothing and welcome 
 to the patient. In these duties were found the most re- 
 fined minds, and those of great wealth ; and equally zealous 
 as Samaritans were their poorer sisters. There was no dis- 
 tinction or jealousy in regard to station or circumstances ; 
 a perfect concord prevailed, and all remembered the soldier 
 in his perilous absence ; even little children were animated 
 by the warmest motives of love for "the army," united with 
 a simplicity of affection. The schools and churches were 
 constantly occupied in promoting the benefit of the invalid 
 
416 SANITARY COilMISSIONS. 
 
 soldier. The fairs and subscriptions heavily taxed the peo- 
 ple, but they gave, and that freely. If only a faithful ex- 
 hibit could be made of the amount of money collected, and 
 the noble labors and sacrifices of the American ladies dur- 
 iQg this period, the world would be amazed ; and the period 
 must necessarily arrive when full justice to the efforts and 
 liberality of ^.U will be better known and appreciated, and 
 patriotism and virtue will shine bright as the evening star. 
 ■ Philadelphia enjoyed the privilege and great honor of 
 being the principal depot for the sick and wounded. It was 
 literally a city of hospitals, for in almost every district, con- 
 venient and conamodious establishments were provided. 
 Those erected especially for this purpose were of a marvel- 
 lous magnitude ; the wards alone of the West Philadelphia 
 and Chestnut Hill hospitals were each several miles in ex- 
 tent, and occupied a full morning to inspect medically. 
 Frequently there were three thousand patients at one time 
 In each of them. All, without distiuction, were the recipi- 
 ents of the kindest treatment and most distinguished skill. 
 The sanitary appliances were conducted in an admirable 
 manner and with great care, and the amount of deaths 
 averaged a far less percentage than in similar institutions 
 of smaller capafeities. The system and excellence of man- 
 agement greatly encouraged aU interested. Everything 
 that ingenuity of the mind could devise was provided for 
 comfort and amusement. Committees of ladies were de- 
 tailed daily at every hospital, to assist and protect the in- 
 mates from any neglect, whose smiles and feelings of sym- 
 pathy gave hope and promise to many a weary heart. 
 Nothiag escaped their observation. They administered 
 constantly, and, to cheer the desponding, amusements of 
 every character were provided, and the most prominent 
 siQgers, lecturers, and artists were invited. The vocal and 
 instrumental concerts frequently combined the highest or- 
 
EFFECTS OF A GOOD LAXTGS. 417 
 
 der of talent. Accomplislied amateurs foimd delight in 
 warbling tlieir sweet notes to the imfortunates, and some 
 gentleman or lady would preside the whole day at the 
 piano, charming the invalid hearers. How much these en- 
 tertainments were enjoyed, no one can better testify than 
 myself. 
 
 My own exhibitions were remarkably popular with the 
 soldiers. Constantly I was written to, and personally so- 
 licited by the surgeon and his assistants, or the ladies of the 
 committees, for my services. Occasionally some convales- 
 cent patient would procure permission to call, and entreat 
 me personally, in behalf of his comrades, to come and 
 amuse them ; a request I am thankful I never refused. 
 
 How the poor fello\^s loved to laugh, and drive away 
 their paios and cares ! It certainly appeared of more advan- 
 tage to them than medical • attendance. Whenever it was 
 known that I was to appear, unusual excitement prevailed. 
 Men whose hmbs had been amputated but a few days, al- 
 though forbidden by the physician, begged to be dressed, 
 that they might attend ; and the same was the case with 
 the feeble and exhausted, who were confined to their beds ; 
 who, when refoinded of the imprudence and danger, re- 
 phed, " A good laugh will raise our spirits, and bring about 
 a speedy recovery." "Is not laughing good for health?" 
 said one unfortunate man, who had lost a leg, and was suf- 
 fering from a gunshot in the arm ; he reminded the surgeon 
 that there was no medicine hke laughing. One observed 
 that if the doctors suffered as much as their patients, they 
 would be as anxious for a laugh to remove their thoughts 
 from the aches of body and ennui of miud. Generally 
 these appeals triumphed, and they- were carried down in 
 chairs, and, after the recreation, were taken back ia a hap- 
 pier state of mind, if not better health. 
 
 One good and active lady, who deeply interested herself 
 18* 
 
418 SOLDIMBS^ BEADINO-BOOM. 
 
 in the spiritual welfare of the men in the hospital at Broad 
 and Cherry streets, addressed me one day by saying, " Oh, 
 Signor, if you would attend here on Sunday morning, and 
 exercise the same influence over the soldiers in prevailing 
 upon them to attpnd Divine Service, what an agreeable 
 effect you would produce 1 for when the drum beats at the 
 hour for prayer, few or none are present." 
 
 No doubt her heart was for the purpose she expressed, 
 and it would not have been less a victory for me to produce 
 the results she so earnestly desired ; but my forte was m an 
 opposite direction — rather to remove solemnity and produce 
 mirth. 
 
 Perhaps no place afforded so much gratification for its 
 social as well as rational pleasures as the 
 
 Soldiers' Reading-Room. 
 
 This room was located in Eighteenth street, and was 
 fitted up as a theatre and library, which contained many 
 hundred volumes. The institution was organized under 
 the auspices of a band of kind ladies, with the special ob- 
 ject of attracting the men from bar-rooms and drinking 
 saloons, who, when health was improving, were permitted 
 daily recreation outside the hospital, from 8 a.m. mitil 6 
 P.M. The main floor of the " room " contained numerous 
 tables, at which the visitors could sit and instruct them- 
 selves with books, periodicals, and newspapers, not only 
 those published in that city, but from every other State. 
 They also found scattered around light games, and they 
 were further provided with refreshments. It was a charm- 
 ing and popular retreat, where miuds could mingle and dis- 
 cuss their battles and sufferings. 
 
 Occasionally dinners were supplied, when hundreds 
 dined and enjoyed all the luxuries of the season, the appro- 
 priation for which was entirely contributed from the purses 
 
AN AFFECTINO FICTUSE. 419 
 
 of the ladies. The happy gatherings on these occasions 
 were sights that rendered more than ordinary enjoyment to 
 those favored with the privilege of being observers. I ex- 
 hil^ited at the reading-room a number of times, and once 
 before what was termed a Umbless audience. Every man 
 had either lost a leg or an arm ; it was truly a pathetic sight 
 to witness the mutilations of so fine a body of soldiers. I 
 need only remark that it inspired me with extra exertion 
 in my endeavors to entertain these af^cted ones, and was 
 fully compensated by their light hearts reflected from their 
 smiling faces. It was remarkable with what freedom they 
 would volunteer to assist me on the platform, aided by their 
 crutches, and, at times, tl«)se minus an arm, proving how 
 completely they were interested. A little reflection cannot 
 otherwise than teach a moral of contentment to those gifted 
 with health, wealth, and all the blessings of life ; and in the 
 midst of their enjoyments, they should not forget that 
 where misery and bodily deprivations exist, cleasure is to 
 be found. 
 
 The reading-room established in Philadelphia was en- 
 tirely under the supervision of the most respectable ladies 
 of the city, moved by the loftiest motives of Christian prin- 
 ciples, constantly present in person to superintend and pro- 
 vide for their wants. All honor to such generosity and 
 womanly patriotism ! Truly, these benefactresses cannot be 
 without their reward. 
 
 The most affecting picture I remember, was the anxiety 
 to witness my performance at Twenty-third Street Hospital, 
 where two young men, each deprived of both legs, were 
 present, seated in front of my platform, in easy chairs. 
 Their faces were remarkably beautiful, of a feminine charac- 
 ter, with a great delicacy of feature and complexion, scarcely 
 ever seen on any manly form. Apparently in the full en- 
 joyment of mirth, they had forgotten their helpless con- 
 
420 FREE ENTERTAINMENTS TO THE SOLDIERS. 
 
 dition. Their countenances beamed with pleasure, and 
 ahnost inclined me to wish that even J was not less dis- 
 contented or aggrieved by misfori;unes incidental to life. 
 
 That I faithfully performed my duty during these severe 
 trials, it wUl only be necessary for me to state that I gave 
 132 entertainments before 63,000 soldiers, at the following 
 hospitals in Philadelphia : West Philadelphia, Chestnut 
 Hill, Hestonville, Broad and Cherry, St. Joseph's, Twenty- 
 second and Wood, Christian Street, Sixth and Master, Fifth 
 and Buttonwood, Sixteenth and Filbert, McClellan, Episco- 
 pal, and Soldiers' Reading-room. I also gave three weeks 
 of xmtiring labor, every afternoon and evening, at the 
 " Great Sanitary Fair" in Logan square. 
 
 It could not be otherwise than expected that, before so 
 large a number of people, there would be some ebullition 
 of superstition developed. Many declared I was the devil 
 in disguise ; others exclaimed, " That man is Satan's agent ; " 
 others affirmed I wonld be dangerous in a crowd, for they 
 were assured I coidd empty every man's pocket at will ; 
 while others thought I was the person to go to the front, 
 and extract the buUets from the enemy's guns. Not a few 
 considered me anti-religious, because I performed, appar- 
 ently,, such wicked things. These, and hundreds of sioilar 
 remarks, were aU made in public, and did not fail io create 
 immense glee. 
 
 My ventriloquial powers produced no less mystery. At 
 the Chestnut Hill Hospital a soldier was positive I had fifty 
 tongues in my head ; another, that I must have devoured a 
 regiment, to have so many voices within me. These ex- 
 pressions are not to be taken as the general character of the 
 men's minds, for the mental superiority of so many thou- 
 sands was their most remarkable feature; this is strongly 
 corroborated in their style of reading. All the hospitals 
 contained a library with more or less volumes, and fre. 
 
INDEPENDENCE BALL. 421 
 
 quently application would be made for books of a theolog- 
 ical or scientific nature, that was surprising. The Eev. Mr. 
 Specktnan, chaplaia of the Chestnut Hill Hospital, told me 
 he was astonished beyond measure at the books the patients 
 would request. Many applied for mathematical, chemical, 
 or philosophical works of the most abstruse character, which 
 he had to procure from the mercantile and various libraries 
 in the city. This is certainly strong evidence of the supe- 
 riority of the intelligence that composed the army. The 
 armies of the world never exhibited a similar display of in- 
 tellect and patriotismTcOmbiaed, as did these noble defend- 
 ers of their country. 
 
 Independence Hall.. 
 
 The great State of Pennsylvania, with its three milHons 
 of people, and its immense and varied interests, took active 
 measures to crush and put down the rebellion, and gave 
 pledges of her patriotism, fidelity, and love of the Union, 
 by generous gifts, both of men and money, to the cause. 
 Even before the secession conventions, there was an im- 
 mense assemblage of citizens in Independence square, in 
 Philadelphia, which was addressed by men of all parties, 
 and all deprecated war, and expressed a willingness to make 
 every possible concession consistent with honor, for the 
 preservation of peace and union. 
 
 At the end of the avenue of trees stands the venerable 
 State House, in which great hall the Declaration of Inde- 
 pendence was discussed, adopted, and signed. It was com- 
 menced in 1Y29, and completed in 1734, at a cost of £5,- 
 600 — about $30,000. There is no spot so sacred to the 
 American people, contaimng, as it does, the remembrances 
 and portraits of the great and good who so wisely and nobly 
 proclaimed universal liberty. One of the most conspicuous 
 relics of that important period is the beU that first sounded 
 
422 SINOULAB IDEAS OF FREEDOM, 
 
 the notes of freedom. As an evidence of the interest 
 manifested by the citizens of every section of the comitry, 
 no less than 1,600 persons daily visit it, and on public occa- 
 sions, 15,000 ; and since the commencement of the present 
 century, it is estimated that nearly five millions of people 
 have visited the hall. 
 
 Some four years since, a bill passed the State Senate and 
 House of Eepresentatives, granting the privilege to the 
 original thirteen States to erect, at their own expense, a 
 statue of each of the Signers to the Declaration ; but from 
 untoward circumstances, and by reason of the war, the object 
 has been neglected. When, however, the present incum- 
 brances are removed, the busts of patriots will adorn and 
 ornament the square, and thus give to Philadelphia an at- 
 traction for all time. 
 
 Many anecdotes are related in regard to visitors. Some 
 have been known to expectorate profusely upon the floor,, 
 and when requested to desist, exclaimed, " Why, is this not 
 Independence Hall — ^where our forefathers signed the Declar 
 ration, and cannot we do as we like ? " 
 
 Another instance is told of a man from one of the West- 
 em States, who, just at the closing of the doors at night, 
 was observed to place his portmanteau upon the floor, and 
 spread his coat upon it ; and when questioned as to his mo- 
 tive, declared his intention to sleep there. 
 
 " Cannot do that, sir," replied the janitor ; " this is no 
 place for sleeping people." 
 
 " Why, here's where freedom was declared ! What's to 
 stop me?" 
 
 He had, however, to yield, notwithstanding his enlarged 
 ideas of liberty. 
 
CHAPTEE XXXVI. 
 
 (XJNCLTTSION. 
 
 jHE Merchants' Exchange is one of the 
 prominent architectural beauties of the 
 Quaker City — ^a rich pile of white mar- 
 ble — as chaste in 'design as it is imposing 
 in appearance. 
 
 Strangers invariably visit the Ex- 
 change, and are as well pleased with its interior arrange- 
 ments as its external grandeur. It is the Eialto of com- 
 mercial men, and the daily resort of those who roam the 
 sea; for the amiable and obliging superintendent gives a 
 cordial welcome to aU. 
 
 The newspaper files, in the well-arranged reading-room, 
 are, as all business men know, placed on racks a little higher 
 than a man's head, with papers on both sides of the rack, 
 so that readers stand unseen face to face, though the space 
 above and below the rack being open, there is nothing to 
 obstruct the soimd. 
 
 A Buzz ON "Change. 
 
 It was here, in this quiet condition of things, that a 
 short, square-built, ruddy-faced little gentleman, of some 
 fifty-five years, was intently poring over one of the files, 
 the interest of his subject rendering him oblivious to almost 
 everything passing around him, when at length his ear was 
 disturbed by the buzzing sound of a bee. At first it was 
 
424 UGBTINQ THE BEE. 
 
 low and indistinct, but gradually descending from the high 
 dome, the sound grew louder, until a sudden dodge of the 
 head seemed necessary to keep the impudent intruder from 
 actual contact with his ear, but it passed him, while the 
 deeply engaged reader, without raising his head, continued 
 on reading. In less than a minute the buzzing was again, 
 heard, as if it were steadily approaching the burly reader's 
 ear, and this time it came so near, that not only a dodge of 
 the head, but a quick and somewhat spiteful blow of the 
 hand seemed necessary to prevent its nmning directly into 
 that sensitive organ of sound. Again the buzzing passed 
 by, and was faintly heard some eight or ten yards up near 
 the dome. The reader, placing his finger upon the paper 
 to keep his place, cast his eyes above, but seeing nothing, 
 applied himself to his reading again. He had hardly run 
 through the first sentence, however, before the buzzing of 
 the bee returned, and so loud and direct was it, as fairly to 
 divide the reader's attention with his matter. From a sUght 
 twitching of the lips and pursing of the brows, it was evi- 
 dent that patience and forbearance were fast wearing out, 
 and with an impulsive bracing up of the whole person, the 
 appearance of the vexatious intruder was anxiously awaited. 
 As if conscious of the rising wrath of his victim, the bee 
 seemed studiously to delay its approach, though the sound 
 told plainly that it was on its road back? — and back event- 
 ually it came — and this time with that loud, peculiar whiz- 
 zing tone, that the reader fancied it had fairly entered his 
 ear. The blow directed at the approaching sound missed 
 its aim, and, exasperated beyond endurance, a " damn the 
 bee," involuntarily slipped from between his firmly set teeth. 
 A long and intent gaze was now thrown after the receding 
 sound of the bee, until it was at last lost in the distance. He 
 had hardly, however, resumed his reading, before again the 
 buzzing was heard, each moment louder and more distinct, 
 
A 6BEAT SURPRISE. 425 
 
 the mental excitement of the reader rising faster than the 
 disagreeable whizzing descended. Setting his hat firmly on 
 his head, and gradually tightening his clenched fist, he, 
 with that, irascibility peculiar to the English commcmdcmt, 
 awaited the enemy's approach, and when the sound indi- 
 cated him sufficiently near, let drive vigorously, missing the 
 bee, but knocking loose the file of papers and emptying its 
 contents on the floor. The noise and confusion now called 
 up the superintendent, yet the buzzing was still heard; but 
 where was the bee ? AU eyes were directed upward. The 
 old merchants wiped their specs, and the young clerks pulled 
 out their eye-glasses, but all to no purpose — the buzzing 
 continued, up and down and all around ; but the bee was 
 nowhere to be seen. All was confusion, and a perfect hor- 
 nets' nest seemed to be aroused. The superintendent won- 
 dered, the captain swore, and all were surprised, excepting 
 one, who seemed to be intently poring over the papers im- 
 • mediately facing the vexed gentleman, whom the bee had 
 selected as its victim. 
 
 Just at this moment in popped a reporter of the press, 
 who, with that foresight peculiar to his calling, saw through 
 the whole case at a glance, and, to explain all, begged the 
 captain to allow him to make him acquainted with Signor 
 Blitz, the ventriloquist. Cards were exchanged, I dined 
 with the captain, and in the evening he visited my hall, 
 where the same huzzwig of the bee greeted his ear. 
 
 Thoughts and Sayings of Children. 
 
 Early impressions are fanciful images. In after years 
 they appear the reflection of sweet promise and hope — 
 golden days without realization — a summer's prospect bereft 
 of a single thought as to winter or its blighting effects upon 
 the glittering sunshine of a brighter season. 
 
 Few live from cMldhood to the close of life and escape 
 
426 TOUTHFTTL HAYS. 
 
 passing througli the vicissitudes and disappointments that 
 mankind is heir to. What joys and brilliant pictures are 
 visioned in boyhood, and how undimmed and clear is the 
 perspective of the landscape of- the future to the inexperi- 
 enced and ready mind, we all know from our ovra. anticipa- 
 tions. 
 
 When we reflect on the happy days of childhood, with 
 the thousand associations of their pure love, sweet prattle 
 and welcome footsteps, we perceive the streams that supply 
 the fountain from which are gradually developed truth and 
 knowledge. But youthful imaginations are imdoubtedly 
 the offspring of those evidences which, in their natural sense, 
 are dreams of innocence. 
 
 Who does not recollect full well the effect of circum- 
 stances on his early age ? How he gazed with amazement 
 at the conduct and movements of others ; with what interest 
 and pleasure he regarded trifles ; how the mind wondered 
 at beholding and the heart desired to possess and partici- 
 pate! 
 
 These views recall pleasantly to memory my own per- 
 sonal enjoyment in scenes as they then impressed me — 
 when the moon and stars bewildered my struggling brain 
 as to their majesty and beauty at night, and their where- 
 abouts during the day. So with the sun — ^its marvellous 
 absence of heat in dreary winter. How I started with, fear 
 at the thunder's loud peal — ^the snow, rain, green grass, rivers, 
 flowers, and all were a mystery ! Happy ignorance was 
 this ; yet how strangely are children gifted with an instinct 
 that is remarkable — the most perfect judges of physiognomy 
 and character, and in their appreciation of kindness, infin- 
 itely more grateful than those advanced in life. 
 
 Few have, perhaps, enjoyed the love and confidence of 
 children more than myself. There are but few whose op- 
 portunities have been so numerous to excite and attract 
 
AN IMPOSSIBLE TRICK. 427 
 
 their curiosity, or to perceive the peculiar astonishment 
 with which they regarded me, and all appertaining to my 
 profession. 
 
 Their belief in the reality of what they witnessed, and 
 their desire to imitate, invariably enhanced my pleasure, 
 and stimulated me to introduce the feats and amusements 
 which contributed to their happiness. 
 
 Fortunately, I never possessed the incliaation to refiise 
 their applications, and always in return found myself liber- 
 ally compensated, either in their confidence, gratification, or 
 imaginative expressions. 
 
 A bright boy of ten years was assisting me upon the plat- 
 form, when. I proposed to pass several pieces of silver into 
 his pockets. He shook his head, resolutely declaring I 
 " could not do that." 
 
 "■Wtynotl" 
 
 " Because I have only one, and that has a la/rge hole i/n, 
 it!" 
 
 I need not state his ingenious reply produced great 
 lAughter and applause among the audience. 
 
 I remember once saying to a lovely child of six summers 
 — ^who had the most perfect confidence in whatever I at- 
 tempted — ^that I could turn her into a canary bird. She 
 rejoicingly replied, — 
 
 " Oh ! do ! do ! because I shall have vrings, and can fly 
 to heaven and see God." 
 
 This was so sweet, I promised her a bird, and the next 
 day carried her the choicest warbler J could purchase. 
 
 An amusing remark was made by a boy who looked 
 amazed at my apparently cmtvpellmg a gentleman to speak 
 in a ventriloquial scene. The lad came to me at the close 
 of the exhibition, and with a supplicating face entreated me 
 to " call at his grandpa's house and make Uncle George talk," 
 who was deaf and dumb. I shook the little fellow's hand, 
 
428 FOOS LITTLE jyWKET. 
 
 and explained to Mm the deception, expressing sorrow at 
 his uncle's aflliction. How much I admired his affectionate ■ 
 feeling ! 
 
 At one of my exhibitions, a small girl inquired if I could 
 turn her eat into a rabbit, for her kitty had scratched her 
 brother's face, and hurt him very much ; so badly, that he 
 could not come with her to my exhibition. 
 
 I replied, " She is certainly a very bad cat, and if I had 
 the power to change naughty puss, I certainly would." 
 
 " Well, you can, for this afternoon you made an orange 
 into a guinea pig, and sugar-plums from canary seed." 
 
 " Yes ; but you only thought so ; it was not a reality." 
 
 " Why, I thought you did it real. Will you, Signor 
 Blitz, show me how to play them ? " 
 
 She left much disappointed, and thought I was not the 
 great man she expected. 
 
 The Dead Canart. 
 
 On another occasion a delicate and beautiful child came 
 to me previous to the commencement of the entertainment^ 
 with a countenance the picture of grief and melancholy, 
 and placed in my hand a piece of white paper with some- 
 thing enclosed. 
 
 " What does it contain, my little angel ? " 
 
 I opened it, when there, appeared a dead canary. Her 
 little tongue feelingly uttered, — 
 
 " He died last night ; please make him alive again. He 
 always used to talk and sing to me, poor Dickey, did you 
 not ? " smoothing his feathers with her little hand. 
 
 "Who told you to bring it to mel" 
 
 " No one, sir ; only I loved him so much, and I have 
 seen you put a bird to sleep, and look as if he were dead, 
 and then when you spoke to him he would jump up and fly 
 around and sing." 
 
A PROSPECTIVE GEmXfS. 429 
 
 "Very true, my dear; but lie was trained to do bo." 
 
 ""Well, why not do the same with Dickey?" 
 
 " I cannot." 
 
 Finding her wish could not be gratified, she commenced 
 sobbing and kissing the bird with a tenderness so truthful in 
 a child's affection.. The more I endeavored to console her, 
 the more she repeated, " Dear Dickey ! dear Dickey ! " 
 Ultimately, I proposed to preseiit her with one of my own ; 
 this checked her falling tears, and in a moment she smiled 
 and looked happy. "Wben she returned home she carried 
 her new pet, expressing her intention of burying poor 
 Dickey beneath some flowers in her pa's garden — ^for she 
 also took the dead bird as tenderly as the living one. This 
 was an interesting and earnest incident, which furnished me 
 with much pleasure, and the wish that there existed a more 
 general kindness and attachment toward animals. 
 
 Visiting the house of a friend, an active, intelligent boy 
 ran to me, exclaiming^ — 
 
 " Signor Blitz, ma told me you could take money out of 
 other people's pockets ! Can you ? " 
 
 " Sometimes." 
 
 " "Well, you could not do that to me." 
 
 "Why not?" 
 
 "Because I have none in my pockets." 
 
 "We aU laughed, and in consideration of his great pov- 
 erty, I gave him a five-cent piece. There was silver then. 
 
 These are but a very few of the incidents which occurred 
 in my exhibitions before the children, but they are sufficient 
 to demonstrate the ample opportunities I have possessed of 
 understanding and learning their character, love, and origi- 
 nality, and the invariable delight which surrounds those that 
 can make them types of affection; yet there are many in 
 life who never perceive a child or a fiower, but traverse the 
 world without beholdring a single beauty in either. 
 
430 - TBE LABOR OF PLEASING. 
 
 A Servant of the J^'ublic. 
 
 TChe realities and vagaries of a public life are little un- 
 derstood or appreciated. The surroimdings are only known 
 to those subject to their vicissitudes, so that the pleasure of 
 pleasing frequently becomes a labor. The varied and con- 
 tinual demands upon the physical and mental nature, and 
 the time occupied to amuse "and entertain, is no doubt flat-, 
 tering to those whose philosophy is without judgment, as it 
 is strikingly wanting in discretion. These people form a 
 large class of society, and are to be found in public and 
 private. They assume to themselves peculiar privileges, 
 which they advance with an assumption that is rude and 
 offensive. To escape from their intrusions is impossible. 
 Unless you gratify their curiosity to an tmlimited extent, 
 you are denounced as being ungenerous and selfish, so that 
 you actually become a captive to their whims and ignorance. 
 The obligations which professional duties impose are at 
 times both humorous and pei^lexing ; yet while a punctili- 
 ous regard to every engagement is required, they are occa- 
 sionally unnecessarily so. A dull and inanimate audience 
 discourages and suppresses the spirits and injures the per- 
 formance, while an enthusiastic one inspires confidence and 
 afition. Perhaps the most trying position is that of fre- 
 quently appearing before a company comprised of so few 
 that the lights exceed by far in number the people present, 
 whose quiet and sombre countenances and gloomy expres- 
 sions convey not a single mark to cheer. How numerous 
 these instances are, and their effect upon the feelings, expe- 
 rience alone can relate. 
 
 I remember on one occasion, while exhibiting in Phila- 
 delphia, ia the lecture-room of the Chinese Museum, that 
 the wind blew a perfect hurricane, and the streets were so 
 impassable that it was neither wise nor safe to leave the 
 
A SMALL AUDIENCE. 431 
 
 agreeable comforts of a good and pleasant home — at least it 
 required a brave resolution and an extraordinary induce- 
 taent to do bo — ^wben, to my utter surprise and astonisb- 
 ment, I found a lady and her son — a boy of ten years — 
 present for the entertainment. After waiting considerably 
 past the appointed hour, I delicately communicated to her 
 the impossibility of my giving an exhibition under the 
 circumstances. 
 
 " Oh, dear ! we came six miles in the storm from the 
 country expressly to see you. This is a sad disappointment 
 to my son. He is obliged to leave to-morrow for his school 
 in the interior of the State." 
 
 "Indeed, I regret it should be such an unfortunate 
 time." 
 
 " "Well, now, Signor, in a measure it is my fault, for I 
 have been promising to bring him for the last two weeks. 
 Observe the sorrow depicted on the poor little fellow's face; 
 do exhibit, and we shall never forget your kindness." 
 
 Here the lad looked up at me most pitifully, and in quiet 
 eloquence, petitioned himself. His appeal was triumphant, 
 for on an instant's thought I consented to perform. At 
 this announcement the mother- and youth became trans- 
 ported with delight. The former exclaimed, " Good, Sig- 
 nor ! " The boy clapped his hands and danced with joy. 
 
 The undertaking was a difficult one, but I had given my 
 word ; so, to increase the audience, I invited the professor 
 of the piano and the ticket receiver to take seats, and, with- 
 out further delay, commenced the entertainment, when I 
 became so intensely interested, that I continued for two un- 
 broken hours to gratify my four spectators, one of whom 
 paid twenty-fioe, the other t/wehe and a half cents ! The re- 
 maining two, being employes, were free. This is the smallest 
 audience, and the least pay, I ever received during my long 
 professional career, but was one of those untoward events 
 
432 THE PUBLIC SERVANT. 
 
 that performers are subject to, and which leave their im- 
 pressions for life, enabling one to learn the singularities of 
 manldnd. 
 
 A thousand similar circumstances could be related to 
 substantiate the remarkable predicaments that are connected 
 with the life of a public man — ^the servant of all, but never 
 the master of himself. No profession or calling can escape 
 from .the appeals of the people, and the more emdnent the 
 position, the greater the demands ; so that a man^s own en- 
 joyments are sacrificed in contributing to the gratification 
 of friends, and often strangers, many of whom are unable 
 ■'- to comprehend or appreciate. Besides these annoyances, a 
 public man is subject to pecuniary applications, at all times 
 and for every purpose, consequently his liberality is severely 
 tested, and his good nature tried upon every occasion; Those 
 elements of character so generally admired secure to him a 
 popularity at an expense which renders him poor in purse, 
 and often he is unable in his declining years to furnish 
 means for the necessities of life, when he must sufier or 
 become under obligations to others. 
 
 Such are the vicissitudes of the life of a public per- 
 former ! 
 
BELE^TAP & BLISS, 
 
 OP 
 
 HARTFORD, CONN., 
 
 A-re engaged, in tlie 'fublioation. of 
 
 YALUABLE STANDARD WORKS, 
 
 SOLD ONLY BY SUBSCRIPTION. 
 
 Old Agents, and all odiers who want the Best and most Fofttlar 
 Books, and the Best Paying Agencies, will please send for their Cir- 
 culars, which are sent &ee, and give full particulars. 
 
 THE EXPOSE: 
 
 OR, 
 
 MORMOl^S AJ^D MORMOOTSM. 
 
 Giving its Rise, Progress, and Present Condition, 
 -witti the Narration of 
 
 Mrs. MAET ETTIE Y. SMIT^L^ 
 
 a Sister of one of the High Priests — of her residence and experience for 
 Fifteen Years among them, with a full, graphic, and authentic account of 
 their Social Condition, their Beligious Doctrines, and Political Govern-' 
 ment. It is a full and truthful disclosure of the Bites, Ceremonies, and 
 Mysteries of Polygamy, with facts and statements truly startling; and 
 also contains the speech recently delivered hefore the Elders in Utah, 
 by Vice-President Colfax, and the reply of John Taylor. 
 
 It is an illustrated 12mo Volume, and sold only by subscription at the 
 following prices : 
 
 Bound in Fine Cloth, $2.00 
 
 " " Leather, Library Style, . . . 2.SO 
 
 " " extra Half Morocco, . . . 3.00 
 
 Agents Wanted. Apply to 
 
 BELKNAP & BLISS, 
 
 HARTFORD, OONTsT. 
 
PALACE AKD HOVEL; 
 
 OR, 
 
 PHASES OF LONDON LIFE. 
 
 By DANIEL JOSEPH KIRWAN, 
 
 The weU-hnown Oorreapondrnt and JowmalUt. 
 
 ONE LAEGE OCTAVO VOLUME OF 650 PAGES, 
 
 BEAUTIFULLY ILLUSTRATED WITH 
 
 OVER 200 EN^aR^VINaS, 
 
 AND A FINELY EXECUTED MAP OF LONDON. 
 
 Being personal observations by day and night of an American 
 in London, with graphic descriptions of the Manners, Social 
 Customs, and Modes of Living in the English Metropolis. 
 The Engravings are from Original Photographs and Sketches 
 by some of the most Eminent Artists. The book, although ' 
 startling and sensational, is one of real merit amd vahie, and 
 will be read not only with interest but profit. 
 
 It is sold by Subscription at the following prices : 
 
 eautifal 
 
 ft 
 
 ly Bound 
 
 cc 
 
 in Fine Cloth, . . - . 
 
 ant Edge, - - 
 " Leather, Library Style, 
 " Half Morocco, . - - 
 " Full Morocco, 
 
 . $3.50 
 4.00 
 
 - 4.00 
 5.00 
 
 - 7.00 
 
 Agents 
 
 Wanted. 
 
 Apply to 
 
 BELEXAiP & BLISS, 
 
 
 
 
 Hartford^ Conn, 
 
PICTORIAL 
 
 |i^t0rg 0f t\t ^nitd mMt§. 
 
 m MAI OCTAVO VOLUME OP ABOUT BIGflT HUNDRED PAGES, 
 
 AND CONTAINING 
 
 Four Hundred Engravings on Wood, besides T-welve 
 Full Page Steel Engravings. 
 
 By BEISTSOI^ J. LOSSII^J^G. 
 
 In this single volume may be found a record of every important event, 
 from the discovery of the country to the present time, including short 
 biographical sketches of all the distinguished men -who have figured in its 
 history. Every family should possess it. Prices as follows : 
 
 In Sml>ossed Clotli, ..... SS.OO 
 In ILiea.tIier, X^fbrary ©tyle, .... 5. SO 
 In Half Turkey Sloroooo, .... O.OO 
 
 LIVES OF CELEBRATED AMERICANS. 
 
 COMPRISING 
 
 BiflgrapMes of Three Hnnfired and Forty Eminent Persons 
 
 AND 
 
 ILLUSTRATED "WITH OVER ONE HUNDRED FINE PORTRAITS. 
 
 By BENSON J. LOSSING. 
 
 Sold only by subscription, at the following prices : 
 
 In Cloth 3BIndlnB, -.--.. $3.50 
 
 In IL.eatlier, Lltorary Style, - - . - . 3.00 
 
 AGENTS WANTED. Apply to 
 
 BELKNAP & BLISS, 
 
 HARTFORD, CONN., 
 
LOSSING'S PICTORIAL HISTORY 
 
 OP 
 
 THE GREAT CIVIL WAR. 
 
 Tliree Imperial Octavo "Volumes, <■ 
 
 OP OVER 600 PAGES EACH, EMBELLISHED BT 
 
 MOHB TBAIT 1,200 EmUAVnTaS 01:7 WOOD, and 100 70ETBAITS OF VMS 
 QEITEIIALS, ElTaHAVEB OIT STEEL. 
 
 By BEl^SOIS" J. LOSSIJS'G, 
 
 Author of " Field Book of the Revolution," "Emment Ajnericana," " History of (he 
 ITnitea States," etc. 
 
 The work is very valuable, being a full and perfect pen and pencil picture 
 of the Great Kebellion, and illustrates everything capable of delineation by 
 the pencil and graver. 
 
 Sold only by subscription, at the following prices : 
 
 Xlmltossed Clotii, - - - - per "Vol., $5.00 
 
 3Liea.tIier, Ijltorary Style, - - - " 6.00 
 
 Ara'besq.ixe Bloroooo, - - - « 6.00 
 
 Half Calf, ...... « 7.50 
 
 Agents Wanted. Apply to 
 
 BELKNAP & BLISS, HABTFOKD, Com. 
 
 DICTIONARY 
 
 OF THE 
 
 j« c g r A I* 
 
 Compiled as a Book of Reference for the American People. 
 
 Bt CHARLES LANMAN. 
 
 This volume contains about Five Thousand Biographies, as well as 
 a large amount of official information connected with the General Govern- , 
 ment not to be found in any other publication. As a book of Reference it 
 is invaluable. Sold only by subscription at the following prices : 
 In Clotli Sindlng, . - - _ . $4„00 
 
 In ILiltorary Slieep, ..... 4.50 
 
 In Half Turlcey IkTorooeo, .... 5.00 
 
 Agents Wanted. Apply to 
 
 BELKNAP & BLISS, Hartford, Conn.