(flatttcU llnitter0UH ffithratg Stlfutu, Wem Qorh FROM THE BENNO LOEWY LIBRARY COLLECTED BY BENNO LOEWY 1854-1919 BEQUEATHED TO CORNELL UNIVERSITY Cornell University Library The original of tliis book is in tine Cornell University Library. There are no known copyright restrictions in the United States on the use of the text. http://www.archive.org/details/cu31924031292935 corn... UnW.r,«V Ut^'V 8rV17204 Ah M'vHnniil AH THERE! PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER CINCINNATI ENQUIRER, COLLATED BY THE AUTHOR. COPYRIGHTED IN THE OFFICE OF THE LIBRARIAN OF CONGRESS WASHINGTpN, p. C, 1894. DEDICATION. "VVithout special, or any other kind of permission, this book is dedicated to JOHN R. McLEAN, Esq., by THE AUTHOH, PREFACE. The task of compiling this little volume has been accom- panied by so much pleasure to myself, that I am almost com- pelled to spare the excuse that is customary in presenting such efforts to the world. It has recalled so many amusing episodes of the foyer and beyond the footlights that I can only hope that the reader will find as much entertainment as I have in these twice told tales. They are tiny side-pictures, taken while the great show was moving the audience to tears or to laugh- ter, and drawn without moral or malice. They bring up memories of old friends, gome of whom have answered the last cue of all. It has been my aim to cull the bright and attrac- tive flowers that have blossomed in the garden of many years experience, and to fashion them into a bouquet of delightful recollections. Possibly they may aid in driving away moments of dull-care, and in sending smiling remembrance on a chase in the pleasant by-ways of the past. With this success, my ambition is satisfied. If old acquaintances present their faces anew, greet them with AH THERE. JhJIEi: TIEIEIBEI piCKiisTG-s ihrom: Lobby Chatter CINCINNATI ENQUIRER. A friend of mine, who was making a trip over the L. & N. R. R. recently, had his attention attracted to a couple of females who occupied the seat just opposite him. One of them who appeared quite mature wore a dress that just came below her knees, revealing a magnificent pair of limbs. A little flirtation brought on an acquaintance, and having his curiosity greatly excited at the girlish costume of the party, he made bold to ask: "Excuse me for my boldness, but would you mind tell- ing me your name?" "Not at all," she said; "We are the A sisters, variety performers. I suppose you think me pretty big for such a short dress ? Well that's so, I'm nineteen and I will tell you why I wear this dress, which is one of my stage costumes. My sister and I are going to Memphis from Baltimore to fill an engagement, and being a little short of money I am riding on a half-fare ticket. Don't give it away." PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. Beer, music and chorus girls will catch the boys every time. In Mexico the women do not wear hats or bonnets. That is the country where they enjoy going to the theater. The big-head disease is making great inroads in th€ ranks of the profession. It is spoiling many a good actor and actress. It does not hurt a burlesque company to burst up and have to walk home. As they generally travel on their legs anyway. Out in Deadwood in one of the variety theaters not long ago they had a souvenir night. Every patron was presented with a pint flask of whisky. Heard an old manager say the other day that E. O, Mc- Cormick is one of the most popular railroad men in the busi- ness with professionals. E. O. is popular with everybody. Persons who visited the Old Maids' Convention at the Museum last week, were excusable when they pulled their chestnut bells, but the chestnut belles on exhibition didn't seem to enjoy it. Andy Gilligan received a telegram from an actor friend in Dakota last week, asking for the loan of his whiskers for a few days, as he had struck a blizzard and wanted to see the wind go through them. Some one writes asking me to give the name of the oldest serio-comic in the business. Does some one want me to be murdered? None of the fair damsels own up to more than twenty-eight years. That is the limit. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. A young actress, who last season joined the Kentz-Santley Co., was asked by Kit Clarke, the manager, if he should send and have her costume trunk brought up to the theater. She said, "I don't carry any trunk, my costume will be in by mail in the morning." Young lady — "I want to be a singer." Manager — "Well can you sing?" Young lady — "No, but they tell me that I'm pretty, have a fine pair of legs and I've just invested $25 in some daisy hosiery." Manager — ' 'Engaged." If this story isn't true, blame Pap Jones, not me. A man called at the box-oflSce at Havlin's yesterday, and said: "Mr. Jones, I have a box engaged for this evening, but my wife died this morning and I don't feel like using it." "Under those circumstances, of course, we will refund the money," said Pap. "Never mind that," said the bereaved husband, "just change it to some night later in the week. Have you got time to come out and take a bowl?" Heakd a good one the other day on Prank McKee, the manager of "A Tin Soldier Co.," and who was recently married to the charming actress Miss Isabel Coe. A short time before their marriage, while the company was in Chicago, Frank purchased a twenty dollar basket of flowers, and told the head usher to see that they were handed to Miss Coe some time during the evening. Frank took lUB^is station in the lobby to watch the effect, but imagine hi^^nsternation when he saw his basket of flowers handed over the flootlights to Miss Amy A.mes, who was playing the Irish domestic. Prank went into the alley back of the theater and kicked himself just twenty times, at one dollar a kick. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. Some one complains that the ladies wear the highest hata at a ballet performance. Of course it is an old bald-headed man that makes this complaint. Ezra Kendall, who married little Jenny Dunn, is about twice as tall as his new wife. And when a friend spoke to Jenny about the discrepancy in size, Jenny replied, "I ain't saying a word, am I?" Every week the dramatic papers contain notices of presents of value from actresses to their husbands who are in most cases their managers. As the actresses earn the money they surely have a right to spend it as they please, but it seems bad taste to advertise the fact. Manager Heuck and his staff have a great deal of trouble with some of the agents who fall in love with the beauty of our Cincinnati girls. He has bought a pair of heavy sinkers to put on them ; this prevents them from chasing a girl up Vine and down 13th streets at the same time. Kit Clarke and Ed Bosenbaum are both anxious to be known as spring chickens, and during a very warm discussion the other evening as to who was the older, Clarke said "Rosy fell off the Ark and came near drowning." Rosy says "that is the truth, and a son of Kit's pulled him out of the water." Will KEOGHj|a|M,nager of the "Hustler," who is in the city this week, is^^old friend of the Sultan of Turkey, whom he met while traveling in that country a few years ago. The old man offered to make Will a present of some of his wives, but on account of his limited salary he was compelled to de- cline the offer. PICKINGS FkoM LOBBY CHATTER. 9 It is nothing short of a vile slander to call a ham an actor. It will soon be unfashionable for minstrel performers to blacken up. If Sarah Bernhardt is to go to a nunnery as reported, keep your eye on that nunnery. It is truly wonderful how some $26 a week actresses manage to flash such magnificent diamonds. "A Hard Time on Earth" is the title of a new play; the author is evidently a Turkey actor. The boys should remember when they go out between the acts that the girls all whisper "beer."' Wanted very much on the American stage — a few actresses who do not depend on dress and diamonds for success. The only Bernhardt says she left her soul in America. If her soul is as thin as her figure she has not left us much to crow over. A New York Dramatic Agency recently sold out; the stock consisted of an old water cooler, three date books and a rail- road guide. A dealer in statistics says there are forty thousand actors in the world. If that is the case, the number of hams must be close on to a million. One evening last week a friend met Bill Kiersted and asked his destination, "I'm going to see a dog act," said Willie, "and I hear he has a good company with him." to PICKII^GS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. YouES Merrily, John K. Rogers, in his early youth, was the proud driver of an ice wagon in this city, but his heart was always warm. Some of the minstrel troupes are advertised as "refined min- strels." I suppose this means they will not appear on the stage in a drunken state. Some one writes asking me who wrote "The Wind Blew Through His Whiskers." It was grandpa Hawley, and he still has the original whiskers. "What is the noblest work of God?" asked the Sunday School teacher of the brightest boy in the class. "A song and dance man," was the reply. I see an advertisement in one of our theater programmes of opera glasses and drawing instruments for sale. Our managers should secure a supply of the latter. Met a serio-comic this week whom I heard sing in Detroit twenty years ago and she was then about twenty-four. She said that at her age, twenty-eight, it waa too bad she had to work so hard. Wben a boy is engaged to work in a newspaper office, the first thing he learns to do is to strike the dramatic editor for a pass to the theater, and he repeats the lesson with surprising regularity. It is not generally known that the sea serpent was seen at our Coney Island this last summer; he wore whiskers and his appearance was so deceiving that Tom Paxton took him for a member of the band then playing in the dancing pavilion. Not very complimentary to either the band or the sea serpent. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. MiQUE O'Breen has been looking for a side cut for a long time and has it at last. John Havlin.mll let him sell ice cream and fans in his theater this winter. M'lXiE Rhea was christened Diana Rhea, but when she became a young lady and her first name was abbreviated, it made it unpleasant, and she had it changed. The manager of a party playing in hard luck on the road, wired to Billy Fennessy yesterday for a box of his smiles so that he could look cheerful before the company. An actor when he becomes old passes out of sight and is lost to the public forever, but an actress upon becoming too old to act goes in the ballet and we see more of her than ever. Charley Melville, who was here last week, was a ballad singer with Hunt & Hoyle's minstrels, performing in Melodeon Hall, 4th and Walnut, in 1853. He is one of the oldest and best of the advance men. Haeey Hoppee was terribly mad at the Grand one evening last week. He was standing in the lobby with a friend when he heard a man remark while he was looking right at him, "that is a great 'eater." The man was English and was referring to the steam heater. '' Phil Simmonds and LeGrande White were standing in front of the Grand yesterday, when, at the alarm of fire, the chemical engine came dashing down Vine street at an alarming rate of speed. "My goodness," said White, "are there no police in this town ? They would not allow a milk wagon to run that way in New York." When Phil explained. White bought the froth. 12 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. Ben Stern, when in advance of a show in the early part of his career started in to bill a one night stand, and he said to the manager : "Let's go in and boom the show, I've got Carte Blanche to do as I like." "You've got who?" asked the manager. "Carte Blanche," said Ben. The manager said not a word, but went back on the stage, climbed up to the top of a set rock and sat there in solemn medi- tation; finally he called Ben over, and said : "Who did you say you had to help you with that show of yours?" "Carte Blanche." This was too much for the manager, he slid down from the rock and cut loose as follows: "And you've got Carte Blanche to go ahead with you and boom the show, eh, Carte Blanche, eh. Well, who the h 1 is she anyway?" Here is a new play Aaron Stern has written, in which he pro- poses to star his friend Mock. The play will surely make a hit. Curtain goes up. Young woman discovered kissing young man. Back door opens. Husband appears in traveling suit. They do not hear him. He lays down his valise and umbrella, and taking out a revolver, fires. Bing — Woman falls dead. Bing — Man falls dead. Husband advances, puts on his eye glass and gazes at the dead couple. Husband — "Heavens, I don't know those people, I must be on the wrong floor." Quick curtain and call for author to kill him. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 13 Is marriage a failure? Ask an actor who has been there. Away back before the "wah," when the writer and Bob Morgan, of Russell, Morgan & Co., were kids, there was a minstrel show given in a barn in North Broadway, in which Bob and myself were the end men, and it cost two pins to see the show. A few seasons ago Bob Miles had a benefit at the Grand with a first part minstrel scene by amateurs, and Bob Morgan and myself were the end men. We probably made fools of ourselves on both occasions, although twenty-five years apart. Uncle Dan Rice tells me that while filling a star engage- ment as clown with the Rentz circus in Berlin in 1848, he was told by the manager, one evening, to make a speech in the ring lauding the German government and Bismarck in particular. He did .so and was cheered to the echo by the fifteen thousand people present, and all the papers gave the affair space. The next morning, in a fine carriage drawn by four white horses, he drove by the state ofiices, when Bismarck stepped to a window and touched his hat to the American clown. Uncle Dan is for Bismarck every time. Billy Tuenee, an enthusiastic bald-headed member of the Elks, read a squib in the Enquirer that Smiley Walker would feed the Elks at the Zoo last Sunday at three o'clock. Said Billy to himself: "That will be fun; all the Cincinnati Elks will be there and it will be a daisy time." So he combed his hair with a towel and started for Cincinnati, arriving safely and making the Zoo at an early hour. He took a seat in the restaurant with his Elk badge on the lapel of his coat. The result of it all is shown in the following telegram to the Enquirer from Columbus : "Please state that I was the only Elk fed at the Zoo last Sunday and it cost me $1.95. Give Smiley Walker M. H. for not keep- ing his word. Bill T," 14 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. Gus Williams tells me of an old gent who went to a theater full of corn juice; the show was "Humpty Dumpty," a pantomime. After seeing one act the old gent said to a man in the next seat "D d if I aint deaf, I haven't heard a word of the play." "What is your salary?" " $75 per week, sleepers and railroad fare home and to open- ing stand, and this is my very lowest. "I'll give you $35, no sleepers, pay your own way to and from, and you play twice a day.'' "I'll take it." Charley Davis, the well-known circus agent, and Jake Rosenthal met in Ft. Worth, Texas, one day. Charley had his pocket fuU of railroad passes, while Jake was compelled to buy from point to point. The passes all read Charles Davis and bill boxes, which means advertising materials. Jake hit upon the idea to ride with Davis from Ft. Worth to Dallas, and when the conductor passed through the train and looked at the pass Davis introduced Jake as his assistant. Bill Boxes. A well known manager recently offered a season's engage- ment to an actor who would not accept unless his wife was also taken with the show. "I've no use for your wife; what does she do?" asked the manager. To this the Thespian replied as follows: "My wife does this. My wife does that. She makes a hit when the part is fat; She eats the meat and leaves the bone. She makes a kick and the show goes home." PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 1 5 Did you ever notice that the Smiths, Joneses and Browns are few on the stage. The four smallest women on our stage are Lotta, Minnie Palmer, Julia Wilson and Ida MuUe. They say that when Madame Modjeska springs her broken English on her pet parrot the bird swears like a pirate. It takes more than a shapely pair of limbs nowadays to fill the front rows. The dudes and the baldheads are becoming hard to please. New Acquaintance — "Take a claret punch with me." Summer Actor^" Thank you, but claret doesn't agree with me. However, if it is all the same to you and as the price is the same, I'll take three beers." Pat Reilly always claimed to be stuck on Cincinnati. One day he was watching the men lay the granite on Vine street, and being interested did not observe that he was standing on warm tar until he started to leave, when his feet refused to lift. "Good Lord, I'm paralyzed," said Pat, and was almost in a faint when helped out of his dilemma. Since Dan Rice Las taken to literature, all the circus boys have the mania. Some of the works now on the stocks are the following : "Swearing made easy without a master," by Jack Robinson. " Lying a fine art," by Sam Joseph. "I can't be with you always," march, b^ Ed. CuUen. "What a deaf man heard in Australia," by Bob Campbell. " Cooke's Broth," by Lou Cooke. "One season with Noah," by George Gilford. l6 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. It is not generally known that Billy Manning, the famous minstrel, died in the arms of Alex Henderson, a Cincinnati newspaper man. Tony Pastor, the variety manager, never used an oath in his life. When he feels like using some very bad language, he says, "By jimmy nenty." Interlocutor — "What is larger than the mouth of a serio- comic?" End-man — "Her version of the salary she receives." Interlocutor — ' ' No. " End-man— " Give it up." Interlocutor — ' ' Her conceit. " A thirsty man is a nuisance in a theater. Of course he has a right to go out foraging for drinks if he does not annoy others in doing so. But generally the man who has to go out often- est has to pass the most people in doing so. He climbs out over feet, hats, umbrellas, etc., he treads on the toes and the dresses of the ladies going out, and then you get a whiff of his breath on his return. These "lushers" should take a back or an aisle seat and not make life a burden for others. Dave O'Brien was at one time in Maeauley's company at old Wood's theater, playing small parts; near the close of the season the manager caused a notice to be placed in the call "case" requesting any of the company who wished to re-engage for the next season to write at once, and to consider silence a negative. Dave put in his bid and every morning would look in the case the moment he entered the theater, and not seeing any letter addressed to him would remark, "Ah, another neg- ative this morning." PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 1 7 If the managers would allow all the ushers to wear squeaking shoes next season it would be -appreciated by their audiences, as generally only about half of the boys are shod this way. It's a pity that the majority of actresses don't think it wise to retire from the stage as soon as they get married. But stage notoriety is sweet, and besides how could the majority of husbands exist if their wives were to stop acting. An actress said to me one day: "I never was in love with a man in my life; I wonder if I ever will be? I wonder what love feels like? I never think of a man after he is out of my sight." To all of which allow me to say "Mice." Lew WiswEiJi, of the Grand, received a communication last week that made him weary. He wrote some time since dunning a friend for $10 that he had advanced the aforesaid. Last Tuesday he received a postal card written on as follows: "Inclosed find $10, please acknowledge receipt of same." Up to the present time Lew has been unable to open the P. C. Actresses take to diamonds like a duck to water. Now and then you will find one who has a preference for some other kind of gems. M'Ue Rhea has no taste for diamonds, but goes crazy over pearls and sapphires. Rubies and carbuncles please the fancy of Clara Morris. Sara Bernhardt's pet hobby is col- lecting opals and sapphires. Christina Nielson is fond of pearls, while Fanny Davenport goes wild over opals, of which she has a fine collection. Lotta dotes on sapphires and turquois in which she invests much of her surplus money. Mary Anderson will have nothing but the pure diamond. Verona Jarbeau takes to anything that glitters.. l8 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. The approach of ■winter brings sorrow to the heart of the barn-stormer. One of our Cincinnati comedians has quit the stage and gone to work as a trimmer in a coflBn factory. A good many come- dians were born coffin trimmers. It has been finally settled what a dead-head really is. It is the newspaper man who gives at least twenty dollars worth of free notices for any ticket used by the paper. A well-known actress once told me that her married life was a happy one, for the simple reason that if she did quarrel with her husband she fully understood the art of "making up." As everyone knows, -Jim Fennessy is a farmer and sometimes raises melons. Last week he raised a large watermelon, but when the man in the store said sixty cents he put it down again. Many of our theater-goers remember James Maffit's funny impersonations of Tony, the Donkey, in the "Devil's Auction." One evening while playing in one of the cities of the far West, Maffit took off the Donkey skin between acts and lay down in the dressing room for a snooze. Being called suddenly to go on in his scene he threw on his donkey skin in a hurry and made his entrance, and as he did so he pulled the string that made the tail elevate, then there was a roar that nearly took the roof off the theater. The more the audience yelled the more Jim pulled the string. All the company rushed to the entrance to see what caused the uproar, and horrors upon horrors, the tail was jumping up in front. Maffit in his hurry had put on the skin hind side afore. Manager Charley Yale was unconscious for three hours. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. I9 The old chestnut warblers that are found in our beer gardens should be muzzled. A new play is called "Antigone." Poker players who miss filling a bobtail flush know what this is. Without some novelties are soon brought out on the variety stage, this class of amusement will be a thing of the past. Did you ever notice one of those water tank actors as he posed so as to give the girls a treat? They are lala coolers. The "standing room only" sign is a source of great pleasure to the managers. But those who come late don't feel that way. In Logan, O. , recently, an ' 'Uncle Tom" Company gave the old chestnut under a tent, which was not exactly water-proof. A storm came up. Those in the audience who had umbrellas, raised them, and in a short time the actors who took part in the play were compelled to use them ; Little Eva, dying under a parasol belonging to Eck. Sands' best girl. Before it became Uncle Tom's time to pass in his checks, the rain had washed most of the cork off his face, and he was a very tough looking coon. The old timers will remember the comedian, Charley Sauls- bury. He was a great funny man, but unreliable, by reason of his convivial habite. When George Wood was managing old Wood's Theater, he one day received a telegram from Chicago, reading as follows: "What salary will you give me for re- mainder of season?" Signed Charley Saulsbujy. Wood at once answered: "Would'nt have you at any price." What was his astonishment the next day on receiving this: "Terms accepted, will be on at once." C. S. And he did come and filled out the season, being as great a favorite as was ever in the city. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. Some one asked one of our local managers if he intended to put the incandescent lights in his theater. He answered if business was not better soon he would put in candles. About a year ago, a Cincinnati author gave John Havlin a play to read. Last week he called on John and said: "I say, Havlin, when are you going to bring out my play ? " "I'll do it now," said John, and he went into his office and brought it out. The author looked daggers, but used none. A professional friend of mine has two young children — a girl of seven and a boy of five. The former was just convalescing from an attack of measles, and of course the boy was expected to have a dose of them. One evening the boy came in and spoke up as follows: "I'm feeling tough, and d d if I don't believe the measles have tackled me." A pretty lively five- year-old. A well-known and popular Western manager, was some years ago divorced from his wife, who was a "tough" by nature. He is now married again, and happily. A few weeks ago he was sur- prised in his office by the appearance of his divorced wife, who looked like a tramp. She said she had had nothing to eat for three days and was compelled to call on him. Aid was given her and she departed. What must have been her thoughts. A well-known Durnt-cork comedian, who has for a long time been considered one of the best, is an inveterate gambler, and some years ago, after being broke at a game of poker, ofiered to sell his wife, (a very handsome woman with a smirched reputa- tion,) for $50. A gambler present accepted the ofier, and what is more, took the wife, and they lived together for some time. This is not a fancy story, and I have the names of all concerned. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. One of Bartley Campbell's hallucinations was to produce a play with all the characters taken by ghosts. In that kind of a company there would be no trouble in seeing the ghost walk. Am told that working for a ten-cent circus means work. A bright Cincinnati boy, who joined one here a few weeks ago, has returned home. He says he gave a stump speech, 'tended door, took care of one of the horses, and sold song books. But when they told him he would have to assist in the cook tent, in cooking meals for the company, he thought he couldn't stand it on four dollars per week, so he quit. One of our managers made up his mind recently to take a trip that would give him a rest, and where he would have a chance to forget business for a time. In fact, a place where he could "sink the shop." On his arrival at the sea shore in buoyant spirits, as he started to enter the hotel, he took a glance to seaward. He was seen to turn pale and drop his gripsack. A friend rushed to his side and asked if he was ill. "Look there," said the manager, pointing to a light-house, "I came here to forget business and there is a d — n light-house; I had 'em all season." Manager W. J. Gilmoee, of Philadelphia, has for years suffered from the effects of a cataract on one of his eyes ; which caused it, as William expressed it, "to leak;" and a stranger seeing him at these times would think he was indulging in a quiet cry. He was approached one day by a ham actor, who gave him a tale of woe and a touch. At the finish "the leak"< •commenced, and Gilmore putting his handkerchief to his eye walked away. Later the performer was telling what a big heart Gilmore had. "Why," he said, "although he didn't give me any money, I'll be d — d if my story didn't make him cry." PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. Scenic artists are like a plate of molasses in a summer kitchen. They often draw flies. Why can't we have a theater where the ushers are not ex- pected to start all the applause in the wrong place? A song and dance man is badly wanted who does not say, in acknowledging an encore, "I'm all out of breathe." In presentations to actors, gold-headed canes are foremost. I know of one popular comedian who is the owner of twenty- Thb variety stage is sadly in need of a fresh supply of serio-comics. The good ones could be counted on the fingers of one hand. The liveliest piece of gall I ever heard of was when Boston Corbett wrote to Edwin Booth asking for a pass to see him act, and signed himself "The man that killed your brother, Wilkes Booth." The janitor of one of our theaters was seen to purchase a bar of soap last week. This means that the house will be im- proved and beautified at an expense of "steen" thousand dol- lars during the summer. A.T about half past eight on the evening of Jim Fennessy's benefit, a party rushed up to the ticket office, and, showing a roll of money, said hurridly : " Has Lee Williams or Jim Fen- nessy sang yet?" "No sir," said the ticket-seller, as visions of an increase in the receipts floated over him, "but they will sing in a few minutes." "All right," said the man, "then I won't go in until they are through." PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 23 A hotel man in Davenport, la., is named Crank. He only acts that way when an actor hangs him up. It is reported that some of the women in Mexico live to be a hundred. That must be the country where some of our ballet girls come from. A well-known comedian, who was in town not long ago, says " he has a lady friend who is so cold that her breath is a regular toboggan slide." Some one told John Havlin one day that there was a party "laying for him" under the stage. Now, John doesn't scare worth a cent. So, borrowing a revolver from Pap Jones, he started in search of the party. He found it — it was a hen. Managcb — "Have you enough courage Miss Alfresh to go on the stage in tights?" Miss A — " Why that's just a trifle. I can read the daily papers without blushing." Manager — ' 'Accepted. " At.t, music has the same sound to Mique O'Brien, the Terre Haute terrier, and Billy Owens, as that of a hog scratching himself on a splinter. And to see the twins at an opera dis- cussing the merits and demerits of the performance is one of the funniest of sights. The following lines were written by Lew Ballenberg and dedicated to a well-known singer: "There was a young prima-donna named Farrel, Had a waist as large as a barrel; She began lo tight-lace, got red in the face, And then was unable to carol." 24 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. Why wouldn't barbers make good ballet girls? They often clip the "light fantastic tow." What is the use of trying to be a great actor, if it is go- ing to end with softening of the brain ? It has been settled that bill-board tickets to the theaters are not received to settle bills for board, and some hearts are sad. In speaking of a variety actor who wants to star, a serio- comic said that "he would never be able to act as well as his liver.'' One of the superstitions of the profession is, that to allow a woman to enter the door of the theater first on the opening of the season is dead bad luck. Let a man in first and its all right. When Lilly Langtry was last in this country she made her- self solid in Kansas. She bought a tooth-brush in Lawrence, a cake of soap in Wichita, a hair-brush in Leavenworth, and took a Turkish bath in Topeka. Haeey Hoppee, of the Grand, told Lou Bauer to lookout for him that he would get to the front some day, and Lou had the hard-heart to tell Harry to try and not get there in a funeral. Theke is a young soubrette on the eve of retiring from the stage, of which she is an ornament, to become a wife. On the evening when the news was first circulated in the com- pany to which she belonged, the "first old woman" remarked: "Georgie to be married ! I won't believe it until I see her in the divorce court." PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 25 Ed Snydee had a birthday party last month, and among the many handsome presents received was one from Treasurer Theo. Mithoff, of Heuck's. It was a picture of Winnie Johnson, the fat woman at the Museum. The following conversation was heard the other evening in the dressing room of one of our theaters : "By the way, Susie, how old are you?" "I'm aa old as I look." "I thought you were younger than that." A well-known actress remarked, the other evening, that she had discovered the difference of "before" and "after" marriage to her sorrow. She said: '-He doesn't throw flowers to me on the stage as before we were wed, but he waits until I get home, and then throws the crockery and furniture." Billy Owens recently informed me that the first "vanish- ing lady" act ever seen in this city, was several years ago, at the corner of Court and Vine streets. It was a young heiress from Newport, who was at the corner talking to him and Lee Williams, and all of a sudden she disappeared. Can you blame her? They had not met since they were in the ballet at old Wood's Theater. "Dear Lizzie, I am so glad to meet you." "So am I, Maud, to meet you." "Are you married?" "Yes; are you?" "Yes; any children?" "Two; and you?" "None; our house is too small." 26 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. If we ever have sheet iron scenery, what chance will there be for the scene chewers? When poor Billy Scanlan first announced his play of "Shane na Lawn," a fellow called on him one day and tried to sell him a lawn mower. A number of performers were discussing the meaning of the word "boycott," and no one seemed to be able to give the correct definition of the word until Weber, of Weber & Field's, hove in sight and he was asked if he knew. "Why cert," said Weber. "There was an old German asked one day what he would do if a certain man should run away with his daughter: "Kill him. Boy Gott." Many years ago, when plays were given in small halls and the light was furnished by coal oil lamps, a. twenty dollar house was a loo-loo. The veteran manager John EUsler, now in retirement, once told me of an amusing incident in which he figured in those old days. The company of which he was a member was playing in a small town in Pennsylvania, and, as he was changing his clothes one night, some one rushed into his dressing room and told him that the scenery was on fire. Without a thought he rushed out on the stage and grasping a step ladder that lay in the wings, he placed it against the back drop, mounted to the top, pulled down the horder piece that was on fire and threw it on the stage, where it was quickly extinguished. The audience, which was in a panic when the fire was discovered, had stopped their flight on hia entree with the ladder, and soon burst into screams of laughter. From his perch on top of the ladder he looked around to see what was the matter, and concluded it must be him as to his dismay ; he found that he had on no other clothing than a short undershirt. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 2/ Will the profession never learn that there would not be half the scandal in it if they did not start the talk themselves. Theee is an actress by the name of Annie Robe. She is from Buffalo, and therefore a Buffalo Robe. RoBT. Downing thinks of adding "Julius Csesar" to his repertoire, and not Julius Cahn, as has been reported. They have a show in Philadelphia in which the ballet girls are said to be new and fresh. Most of them are the latter. Did you ever notice that at the end of the first act all the dead-heads congregate in the lobby and back-cap the show? There is a certain theatrical boarding house in New York that is a daisy. When a boarder's week is up, he finds a fancy cup set in front of him, with gilt letters on it, reading: "Think of Me." If this does'nt bring the ducats, the lettering on the cup the next day reads: "This coflfee has settled, have you?" I was spending the summer on Staten Island some years ago and had for my room-mate John Morrissey, the popular Vaudeville manager. The mosquitoes gave us an immense amount of trouble, and John especially seemed to be their prey; they going for him both day and night, and his face looked like that of a man with a good case of smallpox. One night I was aroused from my slumber by John, in a trembling voice exclaiming: "For the Lord sake look at this, here's one of those d d mosquitoes looking for me with a lantern." I turned over and went to sleep. It was a lightning bug. 28 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. When Patti was here last, Uncle Jim Homer told me that he was unable to go and hear her sing, but he took in the Vine street Museum twice that week. The effects of an opera company were recently sold at auction in one of the Western cities. They consisted of a bill trunk and a photograph of Punch Wheeler. A well-known female star is said to have the best piece now that she has ever appeared in. It is a piece of Val lace, said to have cost $ , and even more than that. The agent of "King Pharaoh's Daughter" has been writing for a date at one of our theaters, but our managers tell him they are afraid of the Police Commissioners, who have sat down on her father. I know an old actor who is always an old Confederate soldier when he is playing south of Mason and Dixon's line, and a Union veteran when he is on this side. Have never been able to find out just what he is in Canada. Years ago, "Macon," the well-known authority on sports, was in the professional ranks, and, at the Grand Opera House here, played seven different parts, (small ones of course,) in Kiralf/s "Around the World," but he wasn't required to 'tend door or sell tickets. John Havun once talked of taking "The Fall of Babylon" on the road. As soon as this was announced, another manager sent for Ed Renau and asked him to go in with him and put out the "Spring of Jerusalem;" but Ed said he was afraid it would cause the "winter of his discontent," and declined. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 29 If you have talent, and are so inclined, try the stage. The stage needs it. The farce-comedies, "The Kitty" and the ''Three Blind Mice," ought to consolidate. There is both money and fame awaiting the writer who can produce a play with a real snow blizzard in it. A great many professionals can give you the theory of good acting. But when it comes to practice they fail to pan out to any great extent. Isn't it strange how the starring fever strikes the average actress? No matter how well she is doing as leading lady, or how high a salary she is receiving, she is unhappy and ill at ease. She must risk a sure thing and tackle the uncertainty. She must be a star. After she becomes a star, what then? A season of one night stands, then a season of barn-storming, without sal- aries, and part of the time without decent food, and then — well, drop the curtain, the woods are full of wrecked and forgotten stars. God pity them ; they died of big-head. Nothing remains of them but the sad, mad, memories of their past follies. The other day, the directors of Coney Island sent a message to manager John Avery politely asking him to call at their office at once. When he called he was surprised when Lee Brooks said he would like to engage the large barge that Avery had in his Museum for excursion purposes. It took John some time to know what Mr. Brooks had reference to. But finally the light came into the face of Kohl & Middleton's able representative, and he smilingly replied: "Mr. Brooks, you are laboring under a slight mistake. Those were not barges you saw on exhibition. They were a pair of manager Jim Fenness/s slippers." 30 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. An actress out West calls herself Miss Fitz. She wiU probably marry a tailor. Manager George Baker should go on the stage. A baker ought to be able to play the leading "rolls." Milt Gotthold was in Cincinnati years ago with an "Uncle Tom" show. A friend of his met him one day and said: "MLlt, I'd like to see Uncle Tom's Cabin played d d bad." "Here's a ticket," said Milt, "come to my show to-night and see it played just that way." When the late John Rickaby was interested in the manage- ment of Frankie Kemble, with Ed. Clayburg, the latter asked him to engage a certain prominent comedian to support him. "I can't do it," said John. "Why?" asked Ed. "Because he is a friend of mine." D. B. Hodges is one of the oldest of the advance men, and he is also a second George Washington, when it comes to telling a story. The other evening to a party of friends he told the following: "A few years ago, while enroute to San Francisco, the train broke down right in the midst of an immense alkali desert. Feeling a little hungry, I started across the desert in search of a hotel. I had just got out of sight of the train, when I discovered that a number of Indians were pursuing me. Taking to my heels, I made haste to climb a very tall tree growing in the desert, when the bloodthirsty wretches surrounded the tree and began a war dance." Arriving at this portion of the story, Mr. Hodges said: "Well, you may imagine how I felt." And had gained the door when the listening crowd yelled: "How did you escape?" Then the old man smiled and replied: "I didn't escape, I was killed." PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 3I OuE managers should paper their houses during the summer when they are closed. It might save them from so much paper- ing after the season opens. Do you know that burnt-cork comedians are becoming a scarce article? There are not now a half-dozen first-class ones on the stage, and the balance are hardly worth damning. An actress friend writes me that she has a play called "HeJ* Husband," and thinks that she has a fortune in it. She will be one of the few actresses who have a fortune in their hus- bands. A SHOW that recently appeared in a town in the far West, had a souvenir night, and each lady attending was presented with a pickled pig's foot. It took a barrelful to go around. Wonder if this was one of Andy McKay's shows. Gil Robinson, the showman, tells a good one on himself. Some years ago, when the circus was traveling East, they met with a railroad accident. Gil was sleeping in the pay-car at the time, and, as it was in midsummer, he wore nothing but a gauze undershirt. The largest portion of the train had tumbled down a forty-foot embankment. Gil escaped unharmed, but de- cided to lay low until daybreak, when he crawled out. Above him stood two women, viewing the wreck, and, on seeing him, they cried out: " There's the wild man ! There's the wild man !" And away they ran for dear life. Gil thought they might be referring to a lion or a tiger broken loose, so he also took to his heels. He ran until he could go no farther, when he mus- tered up courage to look behind, only to discover nothing in sight. When he got back to the wreck his brother Jack said: •"Well, you're a h — ^1 of a pretty specimen to run around aUvel" 32 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. "Come up to-night, the dog is tied," is the latest song. It was written by Theo. Pettit. When a serio-comic springs a recitation in a variety thea- ter there is a great rush for the bar. It is real mean to say that most ballet girls are old maids. On the contrary, many of them are grandmothers. Miss Eastlake, of the "Wilson Barrett Company, was great as "Hello" in "Clito." But she is not the only woman who has played "Helle." Be sure and leave the theater before the last act is over, during the denouement of the play, and make all the noise you can in doing so. It's so pleasant for those who remain. If the ladies persist in wearing the high hats to the thear ters, it is proposed to have them all sit on one side of the house and the gentlemen on the other, Quaker meeting style. Joe Sewbes, the policeman, refused the title role in the new play called "The Sleeping Beauty." His refusal was based on the fact that he couldn't go to sleep so early in the evening and look pretty. Wilson Baeeett will catch our girls sure, if he keeps on. He went to see a performance of Heme's "Minute Men," in Chicago, and, being recognized, was called out of his box for a speech. Mr. Barrett pleasantly referred to the play, which treats of revolutionary incidents, and said "it was rather humil- iating to British pride to see an American girl get the better of six British soldiers. But after seeing how handsome Ameri- can women were, he was not surprised at anything." TICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 33 It tras suggested by some one in the lobby the other even- ing, that it would not be a bad plan for our managers to offer a haid-boUed egg or a wienerwurst with each ticket. No theater can possibly have good luck unless it boasts of a pet cat. All the Cincinnati theaters have a feline pet. But this season good luck and the cats appear to be on the outs. There was a lung tester in Andy Gilligan's saloon last season; but Sam Dawson went in there one evening and blew the top off of it, and now no advance man is allowed to use it. The newsboys are great theater-goers, and, as a general thing, quite generous in their applause. They had an enter- tainment at Music Hall some years ago and they gave the opening prayer a rousing encore.- I was walking down Vine street one winter evening, in company with Macon, the well-known sporting correspondent of the Enquirer, when we were met by a certain well-known actress, who is a talker from Talker ville. She stopped, and as I knew it meant a good half hour, took a rest on a fire plug, and left Macon to stand the brunt. The latter is no slouch with his chin music, but the lady gave him no chance for a word. Soon a tired look came over his face as he shifted his weight from one limb to the other, but there was no escape, as the lady had a tight hold on one of the buttons of his Overcoat. At length Macon could stand it no longer, and pulling out his pocket knife, cut off the button, leaving it in the hand of the astonished lady, as we bid her a soft good night. What the lady thought of the occurrence I have never learned, as when she is coming my way I take the other side of the street. 34 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. A song and dance man was not long ago compelled to "spout" his overcoat, and, on telling his wife that he had sent it to his "uncle's," she said: "You had better take care of me and let your relations look out for themselves." Heard a good one on Col. Bill Shaw, the railroad man. He had Ed Morris out in Indianapolis showing him the town, when he met a couple of ladies, to whom he introduced Ed as the leading comedian of the Evangeline Company, and then said: "Say something funny for the ladies, Ed." "Abe you an actor?" said one of the profesh to a stranger the other day. "No, sir," ''That's strange; your face looks familiar." "No doubt of it, I'm a pawnbroker." Did you ever notice that in the majority of theaters the ushers will always take the longest way around when they pi- lot people to their seats, and that they most invariably take them down the aisle the farthest from their seats, so that they have to discommode a number of people in reaching them? The average usher is as much a mystery as the Egyptian Sphinx. Here is a story on the late Barney Macauley that has never appeared in print. I was with him one evening in the office of the Gibson House, when a loud-mouthed drummer from New York was introduced. He got Barney in a corner and com- menced a long-winded story, and every few minutes he would tap his listener on the breast. I could see that Macauley was becoming very nervous. At last he rather abruptly stopped! the story teller and said: "Young man, I am. enjoying yoar story, but d— n it, I'm. losing a lung I " \ PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 35 No professional ■will wear an opal under any circumgtauces. This stone is considered dead, bad luck. Ed E.ENAU can never be persuaded to go to see the ballet. He says he is too tender-hearted to see aged women compelled to dance for a living. It is impossible to find a female artist^ ou the variety stage who will own up to being over twenty-eight years of age. This appears to be the limit. A man with a glass eye went into the museum one day last week, but when he found the glass-eater at work, he dove down the stairs very lively. The most enjoyable person to meet in an audience is the man or woman who has seen the play before, and tells his or her companion what will come next. Jake Aug, the Cardinal, is a great theater-goer. Does he enjoy it? you may ask. He mufet, or he would not go so often. But he never smiles, no matter how funny the per- formance, and seldoms makes a comment. One evening, when Richard HI was the play, at the death of Richard he said i.^ me: "That's the funniest d— d thing I ever saw." Still it did not cause him to smile. Harry Rainforth bought a little wee bit of a dog a few weeks ago, and it was the admiration of all who saw it. It was' such a tiny creature. Shortly after it came into Harry's posses- sion it began to grow, and now any "Uncle Tom" show that wants a dog to chase Eliza over the ice, will please apply at the box office of the Grand. 36 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. A good, strong shoe, adapted for real deep siiow or tough railroad ties, will soon be in demand by the members of the water-tank combinations. In a company playing at Heuck's not long ago were two actors named respectively Wilkes and Booth. A person Lincoln their names together would have a reminder of history. "How old is Maggie Mitchell?" asked some one in the lobby of the Grand, one evening. "Oh, she's not so very old; she played around here just before Daniel Boone drove the Indians out of Kentucky." They have a good scheme for keeping the boys quiet in the gallery of the People's theater. When the place is packed, and they become too noisy, the officer picks out some boy down near the fr\)nt seats and waltzes him to the street, then the others keep quiet. He don't need to take a noisy boy, any boy will do. The men of the profession who are continually scandalizing actors and actresses should be boycotted socially. The man who does it is not worthy of associating with performers. He spends his time in villifying men and women whose shoes he is not fit to blacken. He enjoys seeing the white wing of an angel trailed in the pollution of the street. Not only his body but his mind is debauched, and he cannot even imagine the purity in others which he cannot recall in himself. Men with higher ideals than he ever dreamed of, and women animated by noble ambitions and gentle impulses, he rejoices in slander- ing, as he calls for another "pot," for which his accidental "angel" will pay. These men are the shysters, the quacks, the blatant hypocrites, of the stage. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 37 In our theaters nowadays nearly everything goes out be- tween the acts but the ladies and the lights. Nevek throw a bouquet on the stage with a string tied to it. It is a great drawback to the person who tries to pick it up. I met an old actor not long since, who told me that he never went on the stage once in his entire career without hav- ing a dose of stage fright. An "Uncle Tom" manager wrote to a friend here last week that "Eliza had escaped on the ice," and to send him another one, if he had to pay as high as eight dollars per week. A young lady told me yesterday that she had attended the theater the evening before with a gentleman who left her four times to go out for a clove. She said it was rather late in the season for a "four-leaf clover." The worst class of dead-heads are the fellows that loaf around the theaters all the time, and not only pass in them- selves, but ask for- passes for all their friends, and many of them have the "gall" to ask^or the private boxes. \ ■ The wife of a well-known variety performer, and who is hei-self a professional, has had the honor of owning seven hus- bands; five of them being still alive. 8he ought to hold a re- union, bring the boys together and make them acquainted. The baker has no free list for his loaves of bread, nor the butcher for meat, nor the tailor for suits of clothes. But the theatrical man, who is their customer, is expected to give them all free seats, and yet pay current prices for their commodities. 3? PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. Do the girls wear high hats at the theaters to attract hat-tention ? Mlle. Khea hae a very smart pug dog, -whose bark is said to be nearly as intelligent as his mistress' English. One of our amateurs made a kick when it was proposed to engage a professional to coach the club. He said, he "didn't think they wanted a man that knew anything about acting." Some of the "next" shows are catching it just about now. A member of one of them writes me that he put up his um- brella for something to eat last week ; and another time he shoveled in a load of coal for his dinner. Still they vyill be actors. Combinations have killed dramatic art in more ways than one, and are producing a great crop of "big-head." No sooner has a comedian or a soubrette made a hit in a combination and received a few press notices than they want to see their names on the fences in three sheet letters. Andy McKay was in Nashville last week, and looking over the hotel register he found a list of show people booked as the Kichards Company. He said to the clerk: "I see you have some show people here; where are they playing?" "They are not playing this week, the agent has a sore throat." A new ballet girl was engaged for the People's and given a pair of tights to wear on her first appearance. When she emerged from the dressing room, George Heuck noticed that she wore glasses, and said: "You are going to take off those spectacles, ain't you?" "No, sir," she said very emphatically, "I'll not take off another thing." PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 39 The ambition of the average serio-comic is to own a seal skin sacque and a pug dog. An old manager tells me that most actors are Uke the front wing of a stage set. They are tormentors. A young lady from Lander, Wyo., writes me that she wants to go on the stage. But fails to say where she wants to go. If you always go late to the theater and disturb everyone in the audience by the noise you make in getting to your seat, you will be sure to make yourself a favorite. When you see or hear anything you don't like while at- tending the theater, say "chestnut," in a loud voice. It makes some people think you know it all. But more to think you are a D. F. While in Chicago, recently, Scott Small had his watch stolen from him and he left the city at once. He said he was afraid they would come back after the suit of clothes he got with the Waterbury. When Patti sang last year in Philadelphia she was inter- viewed by a reporter of that city, and just as she remarked that this would be her farewell tour, the fire bell in an engine house near by struck one. The reporter said "chestnut," and bowed himself out. A burnt-cork artist has been found who has eight living wives. There is a retired serio-comic living in New York who has the same number of husbands. Now, if this couple could be mated they could put in their spare time relating their dif- ferent matrimonial experiences. 40 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. An actor's life is a hard one, and same of them help to make the life of the people who patronize them the same way. Jim Summeefeeeze Wintebburn was called upon to decide a bet as to who was the best minstrel manager in the country. He merely handed out one of his cards. EvEEY show we hear of has met with "signal success" at the last stand, and when I met an agent last week, who told me that business at the last stand was d — d rotten, it nearly took my breath away. A museum manager should put him on exhibition. A couple of the DeWolf Hopper Opera girls took in the monkey house at the Zoo, and one of them said : "Those monkeys are very amusing." "What do they remind you of?" "Stage-door mashers, of course." "What a pity they have no money." Lee Williams, at one time, arranged to get up a show for a charitable benefit at the People's, and promised Fennessy that he would have a daisy. So Jim, with perfect confidence in Lee's long experience as an operatic manager on the road, did not give the matter any more attention, leaving everything to Williams. When Lee showed up to give a copy for the bill, he said he had concluded to produce "Uncle Tom's Cabin" with an amateur cast. Said Lee, "I have engaged the six hundred pound fat woman at the Museum to play Eva." When Lee came to, he was on the counter at Henry Frank's, l)cing fanned by Ed. Snyder and Jim Winterburn, and several other electric and base ball fans. He said some one hit him with the office safe. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 41 When a man's hair commences to get thin on top he buys his seat in the theater down near the music. Did you ever notice that the female with the tallest hat in the theater always has the seat just in front of you ? While on the subject of patent shut-up hats for ladies to wear to the theater, why not patent a few shut-up actors? The manager who fills his theater with dead-heads is like the man who dyes his whiskers. He fools no one but himself. A young lady from the country writes to ask what "supes" in theaters are. "Supes" are young men with very thin legs, who carry banners and spears. Bad weather is a good excuse for the girls to absent them- selves from church. But it is a tough night that will keep them from accepting an invitation to attend the theater. An agent of one of the variety shows now on the road is said to wear a sealskin coat and a glass eye. The two combined being something no other hustler on the road can boaet of. The following was heard from one variety fake to another in front of the People's. "Say, cull, me drama is buUier than ever since I reconstructed it, and I'll split 'em up de back when I put her on de road next season." The safe and lock companies often loan the theaters a safe to be used in the play, as it is an "ad" for the firm. But it is always with the understanding that the safe is not to be robbed. The safes are supposed to be burglar-proof. See? 4^ PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. Why wouldn't a good undertaker make a good "end man?" Bernhardt is hard to get acquainted with. While she was here at the Grand, Harry Rainforth never called her Sally. A friend of mine took his wife to Heuck's one evening. She is quite jolly, and when he remarked, after being seated, that he was not going to enjoy the play. She naturally asked "why?" " Because I've forgotten my glasses," said he. "Your breath doesn't smell like it, dear," she sweetly answered. It is announced in the Eastern papers that the daughter of a light-house keeper would soon make her debut on the stage. They may mean that she is the daughter of one of our Cin- cinnati managers. One of our managers claims to be a mind reader. But when Ke arrives home very late and tells his wife that he was detained at the theater balancing his books, does he read her mind? You can bet he gets some of it. I heard a good one on Billy Gorman, yesterday. Billy is a guitar player of excellence, and has a tenor voice that would charm a sparrow off of a loaf of bread. While on a visit up ia Ohio last summer, one moonlight night, he intended to sere- nade a young lady that he had met the evening before at the house of a friend. He stopped in front of what he supposed was her residence and sang several of his sweetest ditties. But alas no light was turned on, no sweet voice murmured thanks. He returned very sad, but was sadder the next day, when he found that he had struck the wrong house, and had wasted his serenade on an old colored couple who were deaf and dumb. PtCKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 43 Met an actor, last week, who says he has pie at evfery meal. This is for the simple reason that he has quit acting and is clerking in a shooting gallery. Mike Brand has a violin that cost him two hundred dol- lars. Charley Koenig, of the B. & O. R. R., one that cost him eighty cents, and he can't play near as well as Mike. At Deming, N. M., if a manager wants the theater orches- tra for rehearsal he must call them at 6 a. m., as they are bricklayers and go to work at their trade at seven o'clock. They tell me that a man is not recognized as a journalist in New York, Boston or Philadelphia, until he has written a play or a libretto to a comic opera. Out West they lynch a man for a less oifense. It has been discovered that this city was "the dog" for the original "Rip Van Winkle." Chas. B. Parsons, an actor, who turned preacher, acted "Rip" here in the fall of 1829. Dick Thayer and Trux McCanless had front seats. A slightly inebriated individual called on treasurer Ed Ayl- ward, of the Grand, one evening and said, "Give me a clove seat." "What's that?" said Ed. "An aisle seat, and in the rear, so as not to be too far to go out for a smile." A theatrical company started out on a summer tour and summer salaries, and now they have struck a snag. The man ager told his leading man that he did not act with his usual vim. The actor replied, "I'm on a summer salary and I'm acting in my summer style." • 44 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. Some actors, who know nothing about architecture, can draw good houses. Ladies can not possibly be reading the newspapers, as the hats at the theaters are as high as ever. During the civil war the brave soldiers were always found at the front. Now, in times of peace, the bald-heads are there in the theaters. An old manager tells me that he has always noticed that the more homely the women are who occupy the private boxes in the theaters, the more conspicuous they make themselves. Ed. Lane, of the Walnut, has invented a new chair to be used in theaters, and it is sure to be a favorite with the male portion of the audience who occupy rear seats. It is arranged so that when occupied by a lady with a high hat on it -will drop down two feet. Charley Hoyt, the author, is the only showman in the business who ever had the honor of playing a game of cards with Royalty. While in Bavaria, several years ago, he played table stakes with the late King. Out of compliment "to his nibs" he allowed his Majesty to win. Since that time he has often played with three Kings and lost. Punch Wheeler tells me that in California everyone drinks wine. "You get a pint bottle with a ham sandwich. When you get a shave the barber pours claret all over you. The chambermaid on our floor serenaded the room with a quart bottle before sweeping. In fact, they sprinkle the streets in 'Frisco with claret. It's cheaper than water.'' PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 45 An- the agents like to play Walla- Walla in tlie far West. The local manager owns a brewery. Wonder -if Billy Shakespeare was thinking about the divorce courts when he placed the title of "Love's Labor Lost," to one of his plays. An actor, who lately made the trip through Chinatown, San Francisco, tells me, that after "hitting the pipe" a man doesn't care when the season closes. A Japanese man-of-war has totally disappeared with a crew of two hundred men. They will probably turn up in one of flur specialty shows, doing balancing acts and sich. Lucky-dog, Dave Edwards. How many there are who envy him the possession of such a charming fiancee. By-the-by, Dave's railroad experience still had something to do with the selection of a bride. When a man has traveled and conquered as many "miles" as Dave has, he is willing to add Miles to his expense account. Heard the following, last week, on one of the boys, Jim : He called at one of the concert halls over fhe Rhine, and being impressed favorably with the appearance of one of the serio-comics, after her song, he invited her to one of the tables for refreshments. She accepted, and after getting away with a good supper and a bottle of wine, she said: "How are the kids? I just love those two little ones of yours; bring them around to see me some time." James was paralyzed when he discovered that his new mash had, at one time, been one of his nurse girls. He forgot to tell his wife of this whea he arrived at home. 46 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. Daly's Theater, New York, is said to have fewer dead- lieads than any theater in America. It is queer the number of big-salaried actors there are who are always wanting to borrow a chew of tobacco. A water-tank manager announces that he will double his company next season. He probably intends to feed them on cucumbers. They have a doorkeeper at one of our theaters who speaks eight different languages. Yet no one has ever heard him say aught but "ticket, please." It is astonishing the number of people you meet who are willing to give managers a "tip" in regard to the manner in which a theater should be run. During Edwin Booth's engagement here, he told me the following story, which has never appeared in print: When a young man, he was iiUing an engagement in Richmond, Va. , and, one day, accepted an invitation to make a balloon ascen- sion with Prof. Wise, the famous aeronaut. A pleasant trip of about twenty miles was made, and the balloon safely landed in a field near a village inhabited by colored people; who, one and all, took to the woods when they noticed the descent of the balloon. The Professor started in search of a train to take them back to Richmond, leaving Mr. Booth to look after the balloon until his return. After a time an old colored man ventured cautiously from his place of concealment, and, when within about fifty feet of Mr. Booth, with hat in hand, he made a low bow and said: "Good morning, Mr. Jesus! How did you leave your Pa?" PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 47 Home of the water-tank shows are already coming in. They have all they want until the roads are not quite so dusty. Eu RosENBAUM, the manager, has a three-year-old bahy, as sharp as a steel trap. I asked him, one day, if his father was a Republican or a Democrat, and he said: "Dad is a sheeny." Two song and dance men were standing on the platform of a street car as a funeral was passing. Said one to his pal: "Say, cull, get on to the planting bee. Let's try and mash a girl in one of the carriages." Fact. A party of actors were in front of Hawley's, one day last week, when one of them told of a Western trip in which he met with trouble from the Indians, and he claimed he killed eleven himself "Did you act for them?" innocently asked Grandpa Hawley. Gene Robinson, manager of the Paul Kauvar Company, tells the following on himself: Some time ago he was to reach a Michigan town early in the morning, and he thought it would be a good time to indulge in a day of writing and catch up with his delayed correspondence. So he wrote to the land- lord of the hotel to keep for him a nice room on the eunny side of the house, etc. On his arrival he met the landlord and asked if his letter was received and if the room was ready. "I haven't any room for you." "Why not?" "Well, I'll tell you. Show people as a general thing are great kickers, but you take the biscuit; d — d if you dou't commence kicking before you reach town." Gene squared things, however, and the landlord turned out to be quite a clever fellow. 48 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. When any of our slugger-actors visit a theater they should have a box. lu some of the Western towns, the managers of the thea- ters are wearing crape on their hats. Bad business is given as the reason. I see that Madame Gerster has recovered her health and her reason. But what about her voice? If she can recover that she will be in clover. Someone asks me if I think Charley Mack, of the People's Theater, the handsomest man in Cincinnati, and I answer, no. He is not a bit handsomer than his fishing partner, John Berne. The report that Scott Small froze to death at Coney Island on the Fourth of July turns out to be false. He had a chill, that was all. At least the German barkeeper said he had a " chill " of brandy. Frank Steenbeegee, who looks after the theatrical post office at Grandpa Hawley's, denies that he is the author of the new play, "Labor and Capital." Frankie likes capital, but does not enjoy labor. EvEEYBODY knows Jake Tannebaum, the man who owns the key to the South, or in other words books combinations in most of the Southern cities. Jake was, at one time, leader of the orchestra of a minstrel show, which was behind with sala- ries. Jake got mad, and at the termination of an evening's entertainment he flatly refused to wash up until he was paid. It is needless to say that Jake was not left in the town with the cork on his face, as he saw his error, and waited until the next evening and refuged to black up unless he was paid. PICKINGS FROM I.OBRY CHATTER. 49 " Hello, Charley Koenig — I see that you were one of the end-men at the Ducks' benefit ! " " That's what I was." "What did you play?" "The d-d fool." The show business in Tucson, Arizona, was - at one time under the management of Punch Wheeler. The bill-poster was an old Indian, and one day he went on a strike. His squaw put out the bUls and went over the route without clothes enough on her to flag a freight train. When the Anarchists of Europe succeed in overthrowing the Kings and Queens and Dukes, etc., a few of them might make a living on the stage. The Czar of Russia is something of a cornet tooter. Emperor WUliam plays the organ. King Oscar of Sweeden is a good bass singer. Queen Vic. sings a little, so do the Prince and Princess of Wales. While the Duke of Edinburg can murder a violin with the greatest of ease. Heee's a field for the ambitious female street Arabs of Vine Street: Nell Gwynne began by selling oranges in the streets and theaters. Sarah Bernhardt was once a dressmaker's apprentice. So was Matilda Heron. Adelaide Neilson began life as a children's nurse and after- wards served as a bar-maid. Maude Granger ran a sewing machine once for a living. Charlotte Cushman was the daughter of very poor parents, and so is Mrs. Langtry. Rachel, barefooted and hungry, played the tambourine in the streets. 50 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. It's a mighty cold day when an actor gets caught in a bank failure. Fanny Davenport owns thirty^ dogs, but Bernhardt's pet tiger can wallop the entire lot. Negro minstrelsy has never been able to gain a foot-hold in France or Germany. They are poor countries for chestnuts. The moment an actress gets a dollar ahead she sails for Europe, while the actor with an extra dollar in his inside pocket will blow it in. Well, it's all in a life-time. A theatrical paper says " Crawford, the song and dance man, is working this summer." But the paper leaves its readers in the dark as to whether Mr. Crawford is sawing wood or shovel- ing smoke. No sooner does one of our female stars disappear from the boards ere her daughter or granddaughter appear in full rigging and war paint, ready to fill the bill, and the poor public never says, "nary a word." New Yoek critics claim that there is nothing real about Mrs. Langtry's kissing. Now I'd like to know what the deuce those critics know about kissing anyhow. They assume alto- gether too much for their places. It is not generally known that, Ed. Boyce, at one time a member of the Board of Public Works, and a jolly, good fel- low, is an old-time minstrel performer and played on the "bone-end" with Billy Birch, in Smith & Nixon's old haU; way back in the fifties. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 5 1 How refreshing it is to see a fairy in one of the tough variety theaters rush from the green-room to the stage and warble about "me other love." HiSTOKY tells us that Louis XIII was a very weak King. Actors nowadays make him so. Some of them make him ter- ribly weak. Weak actors usually make weak Kings. The estimable wife of manager Bob Miles needed some one to look after the farm, and she needed him badly. So she came into town last week and secured the services of a party who had been captain of the "supers" at the Grand. Yesterday he reported that "the set row" of onions he had planted on the O. P. side was a daisy, and when he put in the "bean wing " no one would know the place. A well-known actress, on the shady side of forty, was seated in a private box at one of our theaters. She was dressed elegantly and was covered with diamonds. A couple of young actresses sat near in the parquette, and one of them remarked, after gazing intently at the occupant of the box, "Look at that make-up, will you." Mashers must have been more generous fifty years ago than they are now. JOHK Hart, the minstrel performer, went over to England recently and became dead sore on the Britishers. Just before leaving for home he was being shaved in a London shop, when the barber said : "Are you having good bicycle riders in Hamerica?" '' They can't use the d— d things over there," said John. "Why so?" asked the shaver. " Because the country is all up hill from the time you land." 52 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. You can spoil a good specialty act by making it too long. No charge to the profession for this advice. «F An opera company left San Francisco recently for a tour of the coast. They hit a town where they were paying raisin pickers $2 a day, and the chorus all left and went to picking. The troupe had to quit. Heremann's duck began to quack the other night before the time for its appearance in the magician's famous hat trick, and when the "quack" was heard four different doctors in the audience looked around, thinking some one was insulting them. Queen Bess, the Kentucky thoroughbred which Laura Burt rides to victory every night in "In Old Kentucky,'' was sick in a one-night stand a week or two ago, and couldn't go on. " I will not ride that horse," said Miss Burt, when a strange animal was brought on the stage, looking big, clumsy, ugly and anything but the fleet-footed racer that saved the bero from ruin. " Oh, but you must," replied the diplomatic stage man- ager; "the scene will be ruined if you don't." The fair young jockey was finally prevailed upon to mount the animal. She got through all right with the race and rode back to accept the usual curtain call, smiling and bowing, when, above the applause, there arose a voice from the gallery, shrill and pip- ing, -which created consternation on the stage and set the house in a roar. It said: " Say, that ain't no Kentucky mare — that's a hoss." Manager Dingwall says that hereafter, when engaging a sub- stitute for Queen Bess, he will loqk to the gender of the animal. PICKINGS PROM LOBBY CHATTER. 53 The stage manager -may -well be called the stage driver. A few good dogs, some good scenery, and a man to chew it, is all you need nowadays. Don't worry about the^^ay. Clara Mokris has always been a popular star with saloon keepers in the neighborhood of the theater in which she ap- pears. The waits between acts are generally about five drinks. John Davis, manager of Robinson's, is in tough luck. A friend presented him with a Newfoundland pup. He has his appetite-^with him. John thinks if the season is prosperous he may be able to keep him. John Russell tells of two actors who were on a toot in New York and who dropped into the morgue. The bodies of two women were on the slabs, who had been drowned in the Hudson River. "Just look at that," said one of the fakirs, "that's what they came to through taking too much water." The late Manager Miles asked Jim Collins, one day, if he wanted a date for the Martha Wren Co. Of course Jim said "yes."' Then Bob took him to a fruit stand and bought him a paper full of dates. You all know what a spitter Jim is. Well for the remainder of that day he did more expectorating than ever before. Billy Owens was on the street last Monday, for the first time in several weeks and no one knew him in his new red beard. He dropped into Billy Gruber's and the latter threw a bottle of fire extinguisher over him, and then turned in the fire alarm. If the barber can stand it, little Willie Winter Owens will be shaved at once. 54 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. The amateur actress has yet to be heard of who •an not beat the record playing "Juliet." AN^ctor friend tells me that he wanted to buy a carriage for his wife this summer, but she g&t a little sulky and he gave up the idea. George Wood, the comedian, told me in New York that the American people did not know how to proj)erly pronouube the name of the composer Wagner. His recipe is as follows : " You must start to spit, but change your mind and cough ; then bite a chunk out of* the air and say, ' Vacnar.'" ^ A man claiming to be an actor, but who looked more like a member of the hobo contingent, dropped into grandpa Haw- ley's yesterday, and, picking up the office cat, started for the door. Of course, they didn't do a thing to him. When the boys got through with him he was a sight. Both eyes blacked, nose on one side, an ear gone, one knee out of joint and nine of his teeth were out on the floor. As he limped out he said he "didn't want the d— d cat anyhow." Kellae, the magician, called on. me the other evening after his performance at the Grand was over and said: "I want to bother Mrs. Kellar at the hotel. Just think of some card and write a note to Mrs. Kellar, tell her what you have done and ask her what card you thought of." I did so and sent the note by a messenger boy, Mr. Kellar waiting in my office for the answer. It soon came: "The ace of hearts," and it was correct. Was it not a wonderful test? I would tell you how.it was done but for two reasons. One is, I don't want to hurt Kellar's business. Another is, I haven't the faintest idea. PICKINGS- FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 55 The outside man who backs the show is the angel. That ia he is so called. But in reality is in most cases a jackass. A press agent told me last week that he never tried to flatter an actress. Ift says the photographer can beat him doing that. When the prodigal son returned they killed the fatted calf. In these times it is often the two fatted calves of a ballet girl that took him away ^from home. Habry Rainforth, engaged a new German hired man last week, and wanting to take a ride one evening sent the man to a stable on Walnut Hills to hire a skeleton wagon. You can imagine Harry's feelings when the man returned with a "hearse." As Bill Jackson sat at the opera with his best girl he re- marked: "I'm not stuck on opera, I like something "spicy." Then she sweetly said : "You have been out between every act and you smell strong enough of clove to make this spicy for me." He made no reply. Just kept still and wondered why he was ever born. Here is a good one I heard the other evening: One of the attaches of the Hagenbeck menagerie has a wife who is a holy terror, and one evening last week he was out with the boys about an hour after the show, and being afraid to go home and face his wife, he slept in the menagerie building in a cage with the lions. He showed up fibout 6 in the morn- ing, and his wife was ready for him. She greeted him with: "Well, you dirty pup; where yvere you all night?" "I slept in the cage with the lions," said Jake. "You coward." 56 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. While there are thousands of unemployed actors, there is still a demand for actors who can act. Some of our variety shows are well loaded with "hard- boiled-egg" soubrettes and souvenir comedians, and some of their alleged funny acts cause one to shudder. They have no earthly use for comedy in Texas. A play where three or four actors don't get killed in the first act proves a dead failure in thp Lone Star State. They want blood for their money, and plenty of it. I know just what I am talking about when I say that by her company LiUian Russell is almost worshiped. She has a heart large enough for a half dozen women, and she has a pleasant word at all times for one and all, from the highest to the lowest. She is all sunshine and always the same. Exchanges are saying that Lydia Yeamans and Rose Coghlan are the only women in the world entitled to wear the Elks' badge. Where did they get the right? To have the privilege of wearing the badge one must be an iplk, and a wo- man can not be made one, as it is against the constitution, which says: "White males alone admitted." The coming of Kellar to the Grand this week recalls the name of a magician famous twenty years ago. His name was Heller. I well remember his queer style of advertising. On a one-sheet bill was printed : "Shakespeare wrote well. Dickens wrote Weller. All magicians are Halt. But this one is Heller.'' PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 57 They have a preacher in Chattanooga ■who says that he " would rather own stock in hell than in a theater." He ought to visit both places and then he might change his mind. Ben Tuthlll's new wife is suing him for a divorce, and Ben says it is a case of mother-in-law, as it was with his No. 1. — Little Ida Mulle. Ben, my boy, if you chance it again marry an orphan. When you see an actor come on the stage, the best dressed man in the company, silk hat and yellow gloves, flower in his button-hole and smoking a cigarette, you can be sure that he is the villain of the play. She was singing, " Where are the Friends of My Youth," in one of the over-the-Ehine concert halls and a man in the audience said he thought from her looks that the friends of her youth were in the Old Men's Home. I have a bald-headed friend who is fond of the show girls, and one evening recently, while out to supper with a couple of them, he said: " What do you think of me, girls?" "We love every hair in that head." "That's not saying much, girls. Some of the pretty girls who fill up space on the stage in the different comic opera companies that hit this village are so stiff and lifeless that it seems funny that some enterprising manager does not put on his thinking cap and try to invent a dummy that would take the place of those natural, but inactive creatures. We have had the walking-man machine that walked with ease and grace at the touch of a eprring. Now, why can't we have a pretty-girl-in-tights machine to accomplish the same purpose. 58 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. The Boubrettes talk of forming a labor union. I wonder if it is to boycott the chewing gum manufacturers. An actor friend of mine tells me that in his twenty years of married life he ha:d never given his wife a cross word. Now, if you knew this little fellow and had ever seen his 200-pound wife you would understand that he didn't dare to. DuKiNG the cold spell of a month ago one of the Lilly Clay girls told Sam Jack that she had to wear so little on the stage that she nearly froze to death, and asked if she could not remedy the matter. " Why, certainly," said Sam. "Wear one of your bracelets." They have a mascot cat at Havlin's, which ran in from the street the other day. Since that time all the boys are playing in luck. Joe Havlin found ten cents in the lobby, and Pap Jones met a man who. went in on a dead-head ticket and spoke well of the show. The latter is something out of the ordinary. The encore business is becoming a nuisance. If a half dozen people, including four ushers, applaud, out comes the performer again and gives you more, and this in spite of the fact that all the audience but the aforesaid six kept still, as they had all they wanted in the first round. Break it up. I wonder why it is that chorus girls are so fond of suppers after the show, and are always ready to accept an invitation? Some of the nicest of women are to be found in the ranks of the chorus and ballet, and there are lots of jolly, sociable fel- lows who are glad to take them to a meal, as they are gener- ally bright and good company. PICKINOS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 59 You can get soup iu bowls for 10 cents, but supe in a theater costs 25 cents. If a ballet girl has a pretty form, her face has nothing to do with the case. She can fix that up so as to be all right. When "Uncle Tom" was here at the Pike, one of the colored actors one day said to Manager Davis: "Boss, sir, please, sir, I would like some of my salary." "About how much?" , "Fifteen cents, sir, please, sir." "All right; here it is. But you shouldn't draw a week's salary a,ll in a lump." John Staunton, an old-time actor, when he was first mar- ried, stayed out very late with the boys, which caused his wife much worry and she decided to stop it. So, one morning about three o'clock he rolled homo full of juice and rang the door bell. His wife did not open the door, but whispered through the key-hole: "Is that you, Willie, love?" After that John was home every night and had a revolver handy in case Willie called. Some of the boys were gathered around the stove in the cafe of the People's Theater, one evening last week, the subject of "colds" being under discussion. One of the boys said that for a cold settled on the kidneys, he thought a plaster was the correct thing. Another . said the best thing to use was a "pad;" that a liver-pad would give relief in a short time. John Berne said he did not know about getting relief from a liver-pad, but one night several years ago, when on his way home he met a "foot-pad" who relieved him in one-eighth of a minute. This settled it. 6o PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. An aotor friend of mine reached his home one morning about 3 o'clock, and in a beautiful gin-fizz voice told his wife that he was a bird. She said she guessed he was, as before she was through with him she would make him "quail." OvEK at the museum the other day, a little boy stood by a glass case containing a stufied snake. His old mother from the country said: "Don't go too close, Johnny, it might seize you." "Don't fear, madam," said Manager Avery, "wonders will never seize." The little dodger said to the one-sheet while lying in the bill room of the theater: "I don't like a poster." "Why?" ''Because it is stuck up." An old time agent told me yesterday, and I am sure he told me the truth, that he was actually starving. He was sick all last season and just out of the hospital. He had just left a man who owed him $75, and when he asked for a few dol- lars, only got the laugh, although the fellow wears diamonds, and plenty of them. I have a little memorandum of him. Once upon a time, and not so very long ago, one of our managers —I won't say who, as they are all married — was talk- ing behind the scenes to the pretty soubrette of a company playing at his theater, and as she pouted a pair of pretty lips, he gallantly said: "Lead us not into temptation.'' She said quietly: "Deliver us from evil," and disappeared. He sadly wended his way to the front of the house and kicked two little opera-glass boys to get even. " IS PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 6l An actor friend writes me from his summer resort that it very, very lonesome — not even any flies around. Mabley and Fechheimer had great opposition last week. Annie Suits was at Heuck's, and she was prettier than "any suits" they offered. The women's hats will be higher than ever this winter, and the poor man will -not see much of a show when he visits the theaters. By the way, a high hat "is no slouch." A local lodge, headed by a band, recently paid its last re- spects to a departed brother, by escorting his remains as far as Court and Freeman avenue, where it opened ranks for ihe funeral cortege to pass through; it then closed ranks and com- menced its return march, the band playing, "He Never Came Back." Appropriate, probably, but as the mourners must have heard the strains, it could not have proved consoling. One evening at Heuck's the gallery was a little noisy, in a good-humored way, and Sam Dawson thought he would go up and help quiet things. On his return he remarked that he thought the butchers were holding a convention up there and they all had cleavers. Sam concluded not to interfere. This little incident reminds me of the night Tom Miaco, manager of the City Sports Company, went up in a gallery. It was in Detroit, and the boys were very noisy. The local manager said they could not keep them quiet, so Tom said he would go up himself and see that order was maintained. He walked up the gallery stairs, but did not come down that way. He rolled down, and when he reached the bottom he was a sight. It took two doctors and three weeks' time to straighten him out, and Tom now does not even look at the gallery in any theater. 62 PICKINGS FROM T.OBBY CHATTER. The copy boy took in Corbett last week, and sized him up as follows: "He can't act. Why, Sullivan can drown him out talkin'." A soubrette died in Boston last week of tight lacing. Well, if the girls do away with corsets and have to be squeezed, the men will have to sacrifice themselves. Boys, are you ready for the sacrifice? A young girl, very, very thin, went on the stage at the museum last Monday in tights. Just as she reached the foot- lights John Foster sang out, ' ' Look out, there, or you'll break 'em of;'' and now she pads. Jim Fennessy was standing near the front gate of his farm one day last week, when a hobo came along, carrying an elegant jag. He said to James : "Please give Ine a dime. I want to get shaved so as to go to church next Sunday." "If I was in your place," said Jim, "I'd shoot myself" "If you was in my place you couldn't hit a barn." Then the bum sailed down the pike, singing, "I'll be there love, at half-past nine." George Baker, now managing Heuck's, was at one time a member of a traveling company that was on the " hog train.'' At the close of the week in a little town George discovered he was without a cent to settle his board bill, so he had to use heroic treatment. ^He fixed up his valise and at midnight dropped it out the window. A man, who was passing, was hit on the head and nearly knocked over. Who was the man? Tough Luck. There was but one policeman in the village and he was the party the valise hit. Where the valise is George doesn't know. He never called on the officer for it. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 63 Fat actors don't necessarily make fat parts. Geandpa Hawuey's cat lay in the sun in the window of the store yesterday, and paid no attention to a mouse playing near her nose. It seems she killed a big rat a few days since, and now mice are beneath her notice. Bob Miles had the happy knack of not only making friends, but keeping them, and with all his ups and downs his friends were innumerable. It did not matter to them whether he was rich or poor, they liked Bob for himself. It ^ is said that a policeman reported to headquarters last week that one of the girls in Sam Jack's Lilly Clay show at the Fountain did not wear garments enough. Now, when a policeman feels this way, that girl needs more clothes. Charley Koenig and Fred Mayer have collaborated on a play with the rather queer title, "The Murdered Lemon, or the Canal Boat Cook's Revenge." The scene is laid in a hen roost, and is said to be eggsciting. The play is for sale. Do you want it? Well, all right — no harm done. Lewis Mokeison relates the following story of an orthodox friend who had religious scruples about eating the "forbidden ham:" "He passed a delicatessen shop, in the window of which was displayed a tempting dish of sliced, juicy ham. Entering it, and pointing to the dish, he modestly requested the storekeeper to give him 25 cents worth of that smoked salmon. The storekeeper, thinking the customer had made a mistake, replied: "My friend, that is ham, not salmon." The customer walked to the door, and turning back, said, with a disgusted tone: 'You chump. Did I ask you what it was?'" 64 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. Billy Grubee is said to play the accordion so well, that you are almost persuaded it is a musical instrument. They have an actor in England by the name of L. P. Cinch. As he is married his wife surely has a "lead pipe cinch." Al Lane, of the Walnut, has a patent on a rat extermi- nator, and is right in the push. It's a snuff; a rat smells it, and sneezes its head off at the third sneeze. In some of the Colorado concert halls a man will light a cigar and put his heels on the shoulders of the man in front of him. Then the man in front objects. He's not sociable A road manager who now lives in New York, has saved up a little money, and I hear that he is willing to stake the boys — at an interest of 10 per cent, a month and good real estate security. An actress has refused to take a pair of shoes made for her by one of our prominent shoemakers here, claiming she could not get inside of them. He says he will sue her; that she could get them on if she would wash her feet. This probably should go as a "society item," but I will chance it in my column. Chaeley Koenig, of the B. & O. Railroad, had a singu- lar experience one night last week. While dreaming that he was to again be an end-man in the minstrel scene at Lew Wiswell's benefit, he got out of bed, and, with the help of the soot in the chimney, he managed to black -up "all over" be- fore he awoke. Only one or two know of this and nothing will be said about it. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 6S Jim Fennessy cannot understand why he does not find more eggs out at the farm. He says he often sees lots of hens standing around doing nothing. Pat Reilly said to John Burke yesterday: "John, I'm going to the postoflSce. Shall I inquire for you?" John said he could, but he wouldn't be there. An actress, who is suing for a divorce, says that all her husband gave her since her marriage, was a pair of shoe strings. Not much of a wardrobe for the winter. There was quite a scare in one of the Sixth-street restau- rants one evening recently. One of the bearded women attend- ing the convention at the museum lost her beard in the soup. When John Berne, of the People's, was about 10 years old, to have some fun with his mother he laid a train of powder in thfe kitchen and touched it off. The old lady did the "go act" out of the window head first. In a short time the scene changed, and there was a shoe playing tag with the middle of Berne. You remember this day yet, do you not, John? Adele Watees, who died in New York a few days ago in the alcoholic ward of a hospital, at one time, and not so long ago, had many admirers among the chappies of New York and many other cities. She was loaded with presents, and nothing was too good for her. But where were those friends when she needed them most? Not one called to look on her face. Not one offered her poor body a decent burial, and had it not been for the actors'- fund, the potter's field would have been her lafit resting place. This should be a warning, but it will not. 66 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. A well-known and popular actress, who was in the city last week, is a great favorite with all her gentleman friends — from the fact that when she is out to drive she never orders wine. The dear old girl always says "beer."' Ix the last act of ' ' Darkest Russia," one of the actors, Mr. Black, steps to the center of the stage and says : " I am Ivan Bolosky." On Monday evening when Mr. Black says this little line a man sitting near me said: "D — d if you don't look it." ;_ Lew Kyek, the Walnut-street florist, took his five-year-old boy to the circus last Tuesday evening. As the Queen of Sheba procession passed Lou pointed out the different characters. "Now,'' said Lou, "see that man with the long whiskers? You hear of him in Sunday-school. That is Abraham." "Is it?" said the youngster, "I thought it was Andy Gilligan." Geoege Heuck and Doc Querner where over in Kentucky one day recently on a hunting trip, and, meeting an old far- mer, George gave him a swig out of the ammunition bottle, and said : ' ' 8ay, old pard, can't you steer us against some game out this way ? " The farmer told them if they would go to his house he would give them a little "ten-cent limit." The boys were shocked. In the first act of Bob Graham's play, "After the Ball," a lady starts to undress herself, and gets pretty well along, when the appearance of the star causes a halt. A bald-headed gentleman in the spit-row remarked one evening that Graham should wait about two minutes longer before making his entrance, and then the lady could be entirely undressed. What a bad old sinner of a. majil / PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. °7 The manager of to-day does not worry so much over the cost of his company as over the outlay of scenery. A ten-dol- lar-a-week actor and a hundred-dollar parlor scene is now the style. Harry Rainforth has quit smoking. He read in The Enquirer recently that scientific men have discovered that the poison taken into the system from continued smoking will cause death in 167 years. When Abe Erlanger was out West last year, he had his picture taken in a cowboy suit. In showing this picture, his good old mother always explains that Abe has to dress that way when he is out managing a show. An actor friend tells me that in a Buffalo beer saloon the landlord still reverently shows the stain on the wall left by Grover Cleveland's oiled head when he took a little nap after a game of cards and a few glasses of beer. A young girl with a pretty face and fair voice, and having the aid of some willing man with money, thinks she will star this season at the head of an opera company and make a great go. The great go will be when she, early in the season, does the "go home" act. Billy West, the minstrel, has a family doctor who he^ al- ways thought was a pretty clever fellow until last week. A short timiB ago Billy gave a party at his home and invited the doctor, and now the^ latter has sent in a bill for $25 for his visit. Bill refuses to pay and says it is a new idea to charge a friend $25 for calling on him and filling up with wine and good grub. 68 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. An actor told me the other day that the best way to get along in this world was to "keep your countenance open and your thoughts closed." A hotel clerk in Butte City looked through the key-hole of an actress' room, and the doctors are still trying to get the knitting needle out of his eye. Managers throughout the country are worried over the growth of the army of dead-heads, and they say it is time to call a halt. If the numbers continue to increase, the dead- heads will before long outnumber the people who pay. In the far West they go out to see a man between acts just like they do here. On a recent occasion in one of the Idaho theaters the entire audience with the exception of two men went out for a drink after the first act. The two that stayed were already so drunk that they did not need to go out. Billy Fleming writes me that while in Lawrence, Kan., recently he went to church on a Sunday morning. While the minister was holding forth a chicken fight started out in the yard, and most of the congregation slipped out to enjoy it. In a short time the preacher came to the window and said: "Come in here you miserable sinners! Aren't you ashamed? WTiich whipped ? " A song and dance girl, playing at one of our variety houses last week, proved what a good-hearted girl she was on Wednesday last. On returning from the matinee she found her room full of sparrows, which had flown in through an open window during her absence. Did she drive them out? Not much. Her heart was too large for that. She captured them and had them served up in a pot-pie the next day. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 69 An actor out West recently shot his mother-in-law, and ever since, while in jail, he solaces himself by singing, "Who Will Care for Mother Now?" John Kebnell has reformed again. I know he has, for he told me so himself. Of course, a reform doesn't absolutely debar a man from indulging in a few gin fizzes in vacation time. Tom Nei^on, of Heuck's, has the blues. His girl has gone back on him. She is very modest, and while out the other evening,- Tom innocently remarked that the wind had shift-ed. This settled it. She goes to Eobinson's now instead of Heuck's. One of the performers at the People's last week, engaged board at a German boarding house. At supper time the first evening, the boy of the family knocked at his door and said: "Fadder and mudder is on the table, and coffee is poured out. Come ahet onct." At one of the over-the-Rhine concert halls one evening last week, as the prima-donna was singing, "Do Not Forget Me," a young man was sailing out of the door on the end of the "bouncer's" boot. He did not need a reminder — "he did not forget;" it hurt him too much. Scott Makble, the author of " Down in Dixie," was walk- ing up Vine street yesterday wondering if the audience at Heuck's to-day would call for the author to* appear in front of the curtain, when his off foot touched a banana peel and Scott slid ten feet in the air before he hit the pavement with the usual dull thud. It was the first time that "a banana ever was known' to shoot a marble." 70 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHAJTER. Met Bob Monroe running up the steps at Klaw and Er- langer's yesterday, and asked the cause of his hurry. "Don't say a word," said Bob, "I am going upstairs to kiss Mrs. Fernandez." Bob has not been seen since. Charles A. Davis, of the theatrical firm of Davis & Keogh, the producers of "The Hustler," "McFadden's Elopement," "Rush City," "On the Mississippi," "Down in Dixie," etc., is troubled with a marked impediment in his speech. He and consonants are continually at war. He has one or two rivals as a stammerer. Frank L. Per- ley, for many years press agent of the Barnum-Bailey circus, is one of them. When Davis and Perley meet they generally creep into a dark doorway to talk. If they stand on the street people get the idea that they are so mad at each other that they can't speak, and a curious crowd always gathers to see the out- come of the apparent quarrel. William MorreU, the Philadelphia show printer, has the same affliction. Davis and Perley met him on Broadway, New York, one day last week, and the three started in for what would ordinarily be a brief conversation. A ragged little news- boy noticed them curiously for a moment, and then yelled to a companion: "Say, Chimmey, get on ter der three blokies chirping VoUeypuck." A moment later Perley slyly whispered to Davis : " L-1-l-let's g-g-get a-a-a-away f-f-f-from t-t-t-this m-m-man M-M-Mor-Morrell. * Th-th-these d-d-d-damu-dammed s-s-st-st-stut- stutter-stutterers f-f-fatigue me." " A-a-all r-r-right," replied Davis. "8-s-s-so 1-1-long,' said Printer Morrell, as they bade him au revoir. PlCltlNGS FROM i.OBBY CHATTER. Jt Al Caldwell says that there will be money sure in the show business next season. He is going to put some in an "Uncle Tom" show. The "diamond ad" is no more. You must have appendi- citis to get a first-class free " ad." In place of losing your dia- monds you must lose your vermiform appendix. One of the serio-cpmics in the city laet week had a birth- day, and gave a little supper to a few friends over-the-Rhine. The bill of fare contained nine different kinds of wiener-wurst. John Aveey, of the Museum, had a caller yesterday who wanted a job, and said if he didn't get one he would clean out the place. At midnight last evening he was cleaning it out — with a bucket and a scrubbing brush. Since Manager George Baker has been farming he does not consult the Weather Bureau. He says when he sees two cats on top of his barn looking at each other, and waving their tails, he is sure of a squall. Pete Baker has a German girl to play Lena, in his play, of "Chris and Lena," who has only been in this country a few years, and her knowledge of the English language is limited — but this is just what the part requires. Last Sunday she said to Mr. Baker: "Ach, Gott, Mr. Baker, my feets is killing me. I must go me by a feets doctor." "Buy you what?" said Pete. "A feets doctor. Show me de place onct." Pete found her a chiropodist and made her happy.' 72 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. A soubrette out with Mr. Jolinnie one evening last week said she thought soda . water was soda-licious. He bought some. A storm may keep a man at home during the evening from going to see his best girl, or from visiting his regular evening loafing place, but it will not keep him from going to the theater — providing, of course, that he has a dead-head ticket. Gus WiiiLiAMS tells me of a German 'squire in St. Louis who had a man before him for bigamy, he being the husband of four wives. "What many fraus?" said the Judge. "Four, Your Honor." " Let him go. He has bunishment blenty. I lif mit one." The New York authorities have stopped the shooting at parties wearing the bullet-proof garments, although they did not try to stop Herrmann in his act of letting six soldiers shoot at him, and he catch the bullets in his hands. The police argue, that, whereas the bullet-proof clothes were really more or less dangerous, no trouble could ever possibly happen to Herrmann; in fact those who know Herrmann are perfectly well satisfied that when any danger is in sight Herrmann is not there. At last we have a roof garden, and one that is a credit to the city. It is the property of Will Ackerland, and is on the roof of his hen coop, on Walnut Hills. Every pleasant even- ing he and Aaron Stern are .up in the garden enj dying a smoke and a small bottle. The performance is a good one. They sing "Comrades," then Stern sings: "Bing, Binger," then Ack- erland does some high kicking — because the song is so bad. At ten o'clock the bands on their little hats play, " Put Me in My Little Bed," and out go the lights. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 73 An old time soubrette said to the clerk in the shoe store: "Will rubbers draw my feet." After looking at her troughs, he thought it would take a locomotive to draw them, but he just said, "nope." Al Caldwell, who, as manager of " Coon Hollow," is an authority on the drama, having heard that both Corbett and Jackson are looking for new plays, suggests that they appear jointly in "A Scrap of Paper." Isn't that what they are doing ? Billy Cleveland, Ohio's own minstrel manager, has been playing the mining regions of Pennsylvania with profit. On the tour he met a retired manager, who related: "I tell you, Bill, the coal miners have always been good to good shows. If they didn't like a show they just threw coal at the actors — that was all. They were too gentlemanly to hiss. Between you and I, it was a good dodge to put in a few bad shows in the course of the season. I always found that it was the cheapest way to get my winter's coal." A. L. Eklangee, E. H. Price, M. W. Livingston and W. H. Bowles recently took a " week off" at Atlantic City. The first and last named were enveloped in "sweaters" most of the time in an heroic effort to reduce their weight. It was given out by the others that Erlanger was the Australian light-weight, Griffo, training for a fight. The help about the hotel would attend to the wants of no one else but Griffo. This was all right for a time, but when Gold Dust Sam sent a challenge for a four-round go, it began to be serious. Erlanger, in answer to the defi, invited him out on the beach for a finish. This disposed of Gold Dust Sam ; but when the party was ready to leave, Griffo had sixteen attendants to tip, and is now figuring out whether the joke was on them or himself. 74 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. Some of the alleged comedies we have shoved on us now- adays are about as funny as a funeral in a rain. An actress in. Salt Lake by the name of Bird was married last week to a non-professional, Mr. Somerset. It was the first time in her stage career that she had been able to turn one. No matter what first-class theater you visit you will find that in every orchestra, the man who plays the double bass is bald-headed. This is dead sure in nine theaters out of ten all over the country. A song-and-dance man in one of the dives here lost his wife last week, and said to one of the representatives of the Actors' Fund: "Say, Kocks, cane yese fellars give me sum- thin' toward planting the old girl?" Fact. Little five-year-old Kuth Christie, the pretty daughter of a wBll-known journalist of that name, went to the Pike last week to see "Uncle Tom's Cabin." Upon reaching home^ she told her father that "Little Eva did not die real dead." "What makes you think so?" asked Pap. "Because, after she died she came out and asked us to buy her picture, and she had on the little blue dress she died in." In her lecture at the Grand, last week, Mme. Yale, or Harvard, told her lady hearers that to have a clear skiij and good health they should take a milk bath twice a day, and about 30 gallons of mUk would give a person a good bath. As this would cost about $10 a day, it would make quite a hole in the salary of a working girl, and very few of them will indulge. The madame failed to state whether slop-fed mUk would do, and I shall ask the Health Officer. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 75 Punch Wheeler once engaged as lecturer for a war pano- rama. The first night he located Ft. Donaldson near Terre Haute, Ind,, and his services were no longer required. These serio-comics who pick out men in the audience and guy them should be suppressed. If one of them should fall against a sick egg some evening it raiight be a lesson to her. One of our country cousins who took in the "Black Crook" last week remarked that some of the fat girls in the ballet foamed over the tops of their dresses. They have a theatrical boarding house over-the-Rhine and the landlady is pretty close. At dinner one day one of her song and dance boarders asked for the second piece of pie, which caused her to remark " Owing to the peculiar arrange- ment of the programme, no pie can be repeated." About a year ago I met Manager Bob Miles standing in front of the Grand looking at some workmen repairing the elec- tric lights over the door, and he asked me to step into the office to look at a letter he had just received. As ladders were across the entrance I said: "I'll not walk under that ladder." " Watch me," said Bob. " I'm not superstitious on the lad- der question." He then passed under the ladder and came back. "Well, Bob, you're the first showman I ever knew who would do what you have just done." "My only superstition," said he, "is the No. 13. I'm afraid of it, and have been all my life." And poor Bob died March 13. 76 Pickings from lobbV chatter. _^ It will be remembered that for one season, about 12 years ago, Lev Steele, who was then a high roller, was Bob Miles' partner in the Grand Opera House. The first day he was in charge he hired an office boy, and during the day gave him a five-dollar note to go out and purchase some office supplies. The boy failed to return, and after a few days the affair was forgotten. Last week I saw that same boy doing a musical sketch with a woman in one of the variety theaters. I knew his face, but to make sure went behind the stage and called him by name — not the one on the bills. He wilted. Don't worry, no _one shall know you. The country manager has a great jolly from advance men during the season, who tell him what a time they will give him should he ever visit New York in Ihe summer and walk on the Rialto. He finally makes up his mind he will make the trip, and, although no braes bands or torchlight processions meet him on arrival, he is not cooled off", but makes for the famous part of Broadway where professionals congregate. Soon he spies his old friend Johnny Goahead, who has al- ways insisted on his taking in New York, and, approaching him, says : "Hello, old man, here I am, and here for a week." "Excuse me," says the advance man, "your face is famil- iar, but I forget the name." "Manager Jabez Grassgrown, manager of the Squashtown Opera House." "Oh, yes; glad to see you. Hope you will have a good time. By-by.'' The country manager catches several of these ice-wagon re- ceptions and then takes the train for home, satisfied that even a country manager does not cut much of a swath in New York, and that advance men have poor memories. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 77 Willis Clakk was at one time quite in love with a young girl who had lost an eye^ She told Clarkie that she lost it looking for furnished rooms. Last year "The White Squadron" had for an assistant property man a New York Bowery boy about as tough as they make 'em. One. of his duties was to look after the bull used in the play. While here the company was to leave on a special about 4 a. m., and, in settling bills, the one at the stable for the board of the bull was forgotten. WhUe the manager was snoozing sweetly at his hotel, just at 2 o'clock his door was kicked in by his Bowery boy, who, shaking him rudely, said: "Say, cull, get a move on you, de bull is in soak for tree-fifty. Cough quick." "A lot depends on one's point of view," said Tom Davis. "Here's Harry Kennedy, for instance. When he was a travel- ing manager, with 'Siberia' and 'The White Slave,' and other shows, he always thought theater managers were un- reasonable because they wouldn't agree to give him as large a percentage of the gross receipts as he thought he ought to have. He used to growl because the road manager didn't get as big a share of the receipts as his share of the expenses warranted. Last season he became a theater manager. He took charge of the Bijou, the Brooklyn house of the Kennedy, Gulick and Bennett circuit. Then he changed his tune. He was in here just now, saying that I wanted to rob him. Next season he's going to put out some shows on the road again and run the theater at the same time. Then he'll have to shake dice with himself to see which side he's on — whether ifs the road manager or the local manager that wants the earth. I wouldn't be in his dual position for a good" deal." , 78 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. Pakts make actors, and they should realize the fact. As a general thing, the actor, when in an audience, is overcritical. A SHOW in St. Paul recently gave every lady in the audi- ence a rose. This was to keep them from smelling the plot. An "Uncle Tom" show playing in the far West, claims to carry the original Eliza, but say nothing about the ice original. The printer who called Lottie Gilson the little maggot in place of magnet, will have trouble if he ever meets the Gilson family. A GIRL came on the stage of the People's one evening re- cently wearing clock stockings, and still she couldn't tell the correct time. I KNOW a little fellow in the variety business who never looks clean. I mentioned the fact to Pat Reilly last week and Pat says the man is afraid to wash, as he might shrink and he is too short now. J. Bennett, as registered at hotels, but Miss Johnstone Bennett on the theatrical programmes, says in a recent inter- view that she "loathes the stage." Well, why not retire? Of course it will be pretty hard on us, but we will try to sur- vive it. Steve Brodie gives presents in a style that is out of the usual rut. On Christmas afternoon, just as the orchestra fin- ished playing the introduction to his song, he handed the leader a box of cigars and said : " Split them up among the gang." Then he went on with his song. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 79 A STINGY actor, well-known to all theater-goers, geldom spends his money for more than one meal a day. At times when he is quite hungry he sits by a hot fire and reads a cook book. One of our serio-comies was married recently, and, calling on a friend, said: "Lizzie, my husband writes some nice letters." "You bet he does," said Lizzie. "I've got a trunk full of them." Now, what do you think of this? The last time Susan B. Anthony was in this city she went to see the play of "Cleo- patra," and a man — in on a lithograph ticket — said that it was Susan's brother, Marc, whom the real Cleopatra was in love with. A young man in the lobby of the Grand, on Wednesday evening, said to a gentleman beside him whom he knew slightly, "I don't see what is the matter with that good look- ing woman down in the front row. She has been flirting with me all evening — now she won't look this way." "I can tell you," said his frielid. "She saw me standing along side of you and she's my wife." Hurry-call at front door for first gent. Harky Claek tells the following story: During his man- agement of the theater at Niagara Falls, he engaged Miss Annie Hindle, the well-known male impersonator. Miss Hindle's brother at that time resided in that city, and accompanied Hindle to the theater. Approaching Mr. Clark, the brother said: "Permit me to introduce you to my sister. Miss Annie Hindle." After the introduction, Miss Hindle then said to Mr. Clark: "Permit me to introduce you to my wife, Mrs. Hindle." Still a guessing. 8o PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. Would it surprise you to know that Eddie Toy's right uame is Pat Fitzgerald? Well, it is. A fire broke out on the stage of an opera house down East recently, and they put it out with stage wine. Now we know what they use on the stage for wine. Water shame! I heard last week of an actress who was very jealous of her husband, and always accusing him of flirting. One day hubby became very ill, and thinking he was dying, said to his wife: "My darling, I am going to heaven." "Oh, you know it, do you?" said the wife. "Just like you. You want to meet some girl up there." Then he got well. The folks at Mackinac gave an amateur performance this summer while Billy Gruber was sojourning there, and he was one of the actors. The part called for a man with a smooth face and he was compelled to shave oif his mustache. That is a false one he is wearing now— a lip wig. The performance, I hear, was a great success— it acting as a sedative — most of the audience going to sleep. An actress who has her home in this city, but who is out of an engagement, was at the Walnut one evening last week. She was alone, and as she stood at Sixth street after the show waiting for the car, a nicely dressed man accosted her and afiked if he could go home with her. She said certainly. In the cars they had quite a pleasant chat. As she reached her flat she opened the door with a night key and called to her husbuid, "Oh, Jim, come to the door. I've got a man out here who wants to come home with me." When Jim reached the door the masher — oh, where was he? Sailing in the night air at the rate of one mile in less than two minutes. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 8l It is whispered that the road managers are organizing a society for the annihilation of actresses' husbands. Why is it that stage sailors have so much trouble with their trousers? You don't see sailors in real life hauling at them all the time. One of our well-known physicians was called behind the stage of one of our theaters one night last week, and one of the actresses told him that he looked "quite killing." He thanked her, but said he was "off duty." Will Heck, ot the Museum, wrote yesterday to tell me of the new curiosity at his house this week, and he throws it at me in this style: "From the deep, dark depths of the moan- ing sea, each one of whose rolling billows is a shroud-like mantle to hide its mysteries, comes one of the greatest attrac- tions of the week of thrilling wonders." I at once sent over to find out if he had it so bad that he needed the assistance of the physician of the Actors' Fund; but manager Avery had him in charge. A MAN with his overcoat buttoned up to his ears and shak- ing as with a chill, rushed into the oiBce of Heuck's, last week, and asked manager Brady if he wanted to freeze his patrons to death. Brady dashed into the lobby to look at the old thermometer, which has been hanging there ever since the house was built and never moved a degree, summer nor win- ter, and sure enough, it was down to 30. Brady made a rush for the engine room and ordered on the steam at full head, and when he returned to the thermometer it was back at the old stand of 70. The man with the chill was gone and so was the piece of ice he had placed in the bottom of the instrument. 82 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. Most of the dressing rooms in our so-called first-cla«s thea- ters throughout the country would disgrace a cow-pen. What would some of the stars do if it were not for their press agents? In a great many cases the latter has more abil- ity than the star. Della Fox says that she values her diamonds at $75,000. But what does Moses Levi value them at ? He may get a whack at them before Miss Fox gets through her starring tour. When the dead-head list becomes too large, our managers can solace themselves with the following: ''In these days there were no passes" (Numbers xx., 18); "Suffer not a man to pass" (Judah); "The wicked shall no more pass" (Numbers i., 15); "None shall ever pass" (Mark xiii., 30); "Though they roar, yet they shall not pass" (Jeremiah); "So he paid his fare and went" (Jonah i., 15). Some years ago, Billy Jerome, song writer, and Willie Clark, went through Ohio with the Cowboy Pianist Company. The C. B. was the manager and he made the boys earn their dough. They played base drum and cymbals in the parade, and it was in the winter. On Sunday they were compelled to go to church and sing in the choir. On Tuesday he would have a mock marriage on the stage between Jerome and the skinny soubrette, and on Wednesday he would give away a silver tea set to a "plugger," who would return it after the- show, to be used at the next stand. Thursday he would give a matinee, and on Friday the boys would have to put out bills all day. Saturday the property man would be arrested for stealing his sealskin coat and fake diamonds. The boys did not get their salary, so they attached the show and the manager's long hair. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 83 Thk reason why nearly . all of the society actresses employ cigarette fiends for advance agents is the fact that they will get more puffs. Did you ever notice that you know the whole story of an English melodrama in a few minutes after the curtain goes up on the first act? Kate Maxwell, known as Cattle Kate, who was lynched recently by the regulators in Wyoming, was, at one time, a Chicago serio-comic. This is pretty tough on the girls but it wiU have to go. It seems so strange that actors will gossip about actresses among themselves, but they will not hear of any talk from an outsider, and will resent it at once, no matter be she a star or simply a chorus girl. When "Clio" was first produced in New York, little Tommy Russell played a part called ''Spring." When the play took the road the part was cut out. Tom met one of the company one day and asked who was playing his old part "Spring." He was told that the part had been cut out. "Why how did they give the play?" asked Tom. In one of the Western cities, when J. B. McCormick (Macon) was ahead of Billy Crane, he called on a dramatic editor on whose desk was a placard reading, "Don't offer the dramatic editor a cigar he haa better ones." In a short time Macon and the D. E. became quite friendly, and on parting, the latter asked Macon to dine with him the next day at his home. Mac said, "Don't ask the agent to dinner he has better ones." Then they went out and had a couple of ginger ales on the outside. 84 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. One of the chorus of the New York Casino has eloped with an actor. This is a dead insult to the bald-heads in the front row, and they are pained. Some of the New York Bialto actors are afflicted with what they call summer-home-mania. We don't calLit that in the West. Too much grease paint will cause it. The play of "Ten Nights in a Bar Room" contains a high moral lesson. At one of our theaters last week, just after the "jim-jam" scene, 1 heard a party in the audience say: "Lets go into Davis' and hoist a bowl." I know a Cincinnati manager who had a narrow escape not long since. In sewing a button on his coat his wife noticed a letter in his pocket, and pulling it out asked who it was from. "A new mash of mine, a pretty little blonde. Read it," he said. The bluff saved him, for she replaced it in his pocket. When he reached the cool air of the street he was in a cold sweat. It was a close call as he had told the truth. Lotta's father is coming over to make the folks a visit. I hardly think Papa C-rabtree will be regally welcomed. About ten years ago the folks purchased an ale house for him in England; thinking perhaps ,he would drink himself to death, but he fooled them. I remember at the commencement of Lotta's career her playing in Cleveland with John Ellsler, and Papa was the manager. When the time came for counting up the house on the opening night, the old man could not be found, and he was missing for three days, when he was dis- covered in the fifth story of the hotel in company with an empty whisky jug. He was a darling "budger." PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 85 The average audience is generally in a much greater hurry to get out of a theater than they are to get in, and when the old father shows signs of relenting and allowing the lovers to wed, then the stampede commences. In the future, notice that when a 'comedian says anything about having theaters where no high hats are allowed, that the very same women who laugh the loudest are the ones that wear hats rivaling umbrellas in size. A COMPANY going West, recently, received a shock when they read the following inscribed on the canvas-cover of an emigrant wagon due East: "Farewell, Iowa and Nebraska, To such we bid adieu ; We may emigrate to h — 1 some day, But never back to you." An actor friend of mine, who played, a few weeks ago, in Oklahoma, sends me a copy of the rules of one of the hotels in which he lingered. Here they are: 1 — If the bugs are troublesome you will find the chloroform bottle on the shelf. 2 — Gents going to bed with their boots on will be charged extra. 3 — Three raps on the do&r means that there has been a murder in the house and you must get up. 5 — Please wipe your face and hands on the sheet, we do not furnish towels. 5 — Don't spit in the cuspidor, but in the tin, which you will find in the top drawer of the bureau. 6 — The shooting of a pistol is no cause for alarm. 7 —The other leg of the chair is in the closet if you need it. 86 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. Mince pies are great attractions during the holidays. Why don't some of the managers try a "French Spy?" They have an actor in Australia by the name of Chris Anthem. Lou Kyrk, the florist, should bring him to this city and put him in his show window. MoDjESKA says that Mrs. James Brown -Potter does not come within the range of dramatic art; therefore, she does not care to criticise her, and in return, Mrs. Potter says Modjeska is no better than she ought to be. There now; these women folks, ain't they just too awfully awful. "When W. J. Fleming was the manager of Niblo's, New York, he promised to read a couple of new plays. The first one he started on the opening line was: "Go no further," and he didn't. In the other the first line was: "I've had enough of this," and he thought he had too and quit. It was a rather singular coincidence. I see that Ella Wheeler Wilcox has written a poem where- in she gives some moral advice to actresses. You are a very clever poet, Ella, but when you tackle a subject you know little if anything about, you make us weary. Stick to love making, as that is your fortune. You and Swinburne have the inside track on writing poetry that stir the human passions. Either of you can put more fire in ten lines of verse than all the balance of rhymers put in their verses during their natural lives. But don't go out of the way to give advice to people on the stage. As the majority of them are just as good as you are, and far more honest in their dealings with their fellow beings than the average person outside of the profession is found to be. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 87 One of the noblest works Tof God, barring a policeman, is the fledgeling press agent who imagines he can work the news- papers. Thebe is no class of men who love to risk their spare change at some game of chance as well as actors. The tiger is always happier and fatter after having been monkeyed with by them. Sakdou calls Hamlet an idiotic play, and he is not far from being right. Could Shakespeare see some of the Hamlets of the present day he would certainly be willing to saddle the authorship on "his nibs," Lord Bacon. A homely girl, no odds what talent she may possess, has no business to think of going on the stage with any idea of making a success of it. The girl with a pretty face and well shaped limbs, with just enough "chic" to give grace to her movements is the one the public is after every time. What a delusion is a stage kiss. A few weeks ago, at one of our theaters were a couple who had to kiss each other six times during the action of the play. The lady in the case told me "she would rather kiss the town pump." While the man said, "Her breath would stop a cable car." Still to the audi- ence it looked all right. Salvini, the elder, the great Italian actor, once told Booth that in playing OtheUo he did not stab Desdemona in the death scene, as he considered that altogether too brutal. "But I do not confine myself to simply suffocating her," he said. "For in addition to that I break her neck across my knee." Such a tender-hearted man is too good for this world. 88 tlCKtNGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. The "Wife" drew well at one of our theaters last week. The mothers-in-law all went to see her. Always buy the libretto of the opera. The auditorium is so dark that you can't possibly read it, but it shows that you have style about you. It looks pretty hard for a Iwo-pound-poodle to be earning a living for a two-hundred-pound man. But we had a case of it last week at the People's. Why is it that only members of the theatrical profession afik for benefits? No busted or broken down lawyer or doctor, etc., has the nerve to ask for a benefit to help him out. Andy McKay made a public oifer the other day in Phila- delphia to marry the eight-hundred-pound fat wom'm on exhi- bition at the museum for $500. The offer was rejected and the fat beauty says nothing goes with her but love. I am glad to see another Ohio boy coming to the front. I refer to George Backus who hails from Columbus, and who is receiving some very glowing praises from the New York editors for his clever acting. A few years ago George was a bank cashier and was recognized as a very popular society gentleman. But he was of the ambitious sort; felt he was cut out for an actor,- so in spite of the entreaties of his many friends he threw up his excellent position and accepted a place in a dramatic company at starvation wages, and for a few seasons worked as only a man of grit and ambition can. Well, he is now getting there step by step, slow but sure, and he is one of the kind that when he arrives at the top of the ladder he will stay there. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 89 An actor in Colorado by the name of Gallagher, mourns the loss of his wife, who eloped with a Leadville gambler. "Let her go, Gallagher." Bob Ingeesoll once told Stuart Robson that the difference between the pulpit and the stage is: "The pulpit is the pre- tense of honesty and the stage is the honesty of pretense.'' Bob Miles was never short of a witty answer. One day while in a street car a gentleman accosted him with: "Do you know a gentleman with one eye named Walker?" "What's the name of the other eye?" asked Eobert. Some time ago, when Jennie Yeamans was down in Texas playing "Our Jennie," she struck a one night town where the people did not go wild over her singing and dancing. Finally she got a hand and walking down to the footlights, she said: "I'm glad I have finally done something that pleases you "yaps." A young lady writes me that she is anxious to adopt the stage as a profession and wants my advice on the subject. She says she has studied elocution with some of the best teachers, and besides, possesses histrionic talent. My advice is plain and to the point. Keep off the stage if you know when you are well off". Even if you have every quality necessary to make a success, the life of the average actor and actress is that of a slave. Elocution and histrionic talent go a very little way toward making a successful actress. It takes good looks and a good . figure, plenty of gall and the knack of. being able to twist a manager around your little finger, and above all, a large wardrobe of costly dresses and a big cnsket of jewels to make any headway on the stage nowadays. If you possess all these, "spiel." go PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. Why is it that the Kiralfys have never engaged Fanny Mills, the big-footed girl of museum fame, for their ballets? Her feet are not much larger than those of some of their coryphees. One of Joe Emmet's peculiarities was that he would permit no one to photograph his home near Albany, N. Y. He thought it bad luck, and -when he was away his man in charge had strict orders to not let even the amateur fiend within four hundred yards of the house. I HAVE a couple of friends (brothers) who are great theater- goers. I saw them in a box one evening. One of them in full evening costume. As the other brother strutted about the lobby between acts, I said: "Where is your dress suit? I see that John has his on." "Yes," he replied, "John got home to supper before I did." John Keakney, the programme publisher, made a very unkind remark to me the other day about Mique O'Brien. He asked me if he had applied to the Actors' Fund for relief. I told him that he had not and inquired the reason for the question. John said: "I saw him act at Bob Marsh's benefit several months ago and he struck me as being a pretty sick actor. However, he may have improved." Geoege Thompson, the German comedian, tells the follow- ing : There was a German whose wife had presented him with twins, which they called respectively Hans and Rudolph, and, in speaking of them, he said: "They had eyes, nose and smiles alike, and that the only difference was that Hans had two teeth and Eudolph none. To tell the difference you had to put your finger in Rudolph's mouth, and if he bit you, it was Hans." PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 91 A stupid, cold, shabby advance agent will damn the best show on earth. Iea Paine, the great shot, who died recently, began his stage career as a singer, but finally became a plumber. He thought probably that some of his old customers might try to take his life oh account of the terrible prices he charged. So he learned to shoot. One of the best known actors of our stage was a sign painter until he was seventeen, and did not know that he had any talent, until one day he happened to be on the stage where a company was rehearsing, and, in a spirit of devilment, attempted a song and dance. He made such a hit that he was employed at five a week, and that was the first money Joe Emmet ever received for stage services. DuBiNG a recent sale of wild animals in New Orleans, the bidding on a ferocious tiger was very spirited between Pete Sells, of Sells Bros.' Circus, and an old hayseed, to whom the animal was finally knocked down. Pete wondered what in the world the jay could want with the beast and asked the question. Said the old chap: "My wife died about six months ago and I'm d — d lonesome." George Shoettle and Tom Nelson, of Heuck's box office, talk seriously of doing some of the small towns of Ohio, next summer, in a play called " Hamlet." George will -play the Lone Dane, on account of his pensive look, and Tommy, by reason of his effective soprano voice, will do the role of "Ophe- lia." The only salvation for the inhabitants will be for a cyclone or a blizzard to strike the place just before the barnstormers reach it. 92 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. An actor, with a play, looking for au angel might be termed "A Midsummer Night's Dream." When Henry Irving was in New York, Eddie Foy wrote George Bowles to see him every night for a week, and see if he was stealing any of his business. "Why Women Weep," is the title of a new play. There are some husbands who would say the reason was because they did not get all of their husband's salary. Did you ever notice that while dining with an actress, if she is asked what part of the fowl she prefers, she will always take a wing. It reminds her of the stage. When Charley Saulsbury was filling an engagement here, after recovering from a few days illness, he called on his doc- tor and said he wanted another box of the same kind of pills he had been taking. "You don't need any more. You're all right," said the doctor. "I don't want them for myself I've no use for the beer saloon under the theater and I want to clean it out." ACTOES and actresses seem to take up high art like ducks to water. Joe Jefferson is one of the cleverest artista in America, some of his landscape paintings are beauties of the first water. Francis Wilson dabbles in paints and does some right clever work. The decorative paintings of Bertha Welby attracted favorable comment in Eastern cities from art critics. Pretty Ida Bell is so fond of penciling sketches, with which she adorns her dressing room, that they say whenever she leaves a theater, the manager always takes out the four walls and door of the dressing room and has them framed. PICKINGS FROM LqBBY CHATTER. 93 Charley Day tells me that Banks Winters and also sum- mers with minstrel troupes. One of our farce-comedies has a colored soubrette. Here is one case where the manager does not carry a gripsack. Since getting hold of Coney Island, Lee Brooks has become a real showman. He wears red neckties, spotted clothes, and tries to walk like Harry Eainforth. One of our dead-heads was asked the other evening how he liked the show, and he said: "Not much. If the second act is not better I'm going to the box office and buy a ticket so I can swear." Persons striking the dramatic editor for passes to the thea- ters should ask for enough to last them for the season. It will save them the trouble of hunting him up every time they want to go. I saw an actor in one of our saloons, last week, take a tumbler, fill it to the brim with absinthe, and drink it down with a relish. Eugene Brown, who was in charge of the bar, offered him a paper of tacks to wash it down with. A good story is told on Hosmer, the professional oarsman, who is with "The Dark Secret." While playing in Chicago, during the regatta scene, everyone was worked up to a pitch of excitement, and loud was the applause when the heroine exclaimed: "Hurrah, hurrah! Hosmer has won the race!" But a consternation was raised when a broken-down old sport in the audience loudly exclaimed: "Well, by gosh, its the first race be ever won." 94 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. Some times the "heavy" man in a company will take a "light" cocktail before breakfast. A young actress wants to learn fencing and writes me for the name of some teacher. My dear, go to some farmer in the spring of the year. Someone writes me to let up on bald-heads as I will be one myself some day. That's so, I'm already down to about the fourth row from the stage. A very queer actor told me, last week, that he was hold- ing out for a big salary, and I knew that he had been wear- ing two old porous plasters in place of an undershirt for several months. To make a good actor, don't talk shop with every one you meet and don't know it all the first season you. are on the road. It may take two seasons to make you as good as Edwin Booth was. Manager Larry Reist has had the jaundice, lately, and they tell me that when he sits in front of the theater people hand him bundles of soiled linen to be washed. He looked like a Chinaman. While playing an engagement in Boston, Nat Goodwin was accosted by a boy who asked him for ten cents. . "What do you want it for?" asked Nat. "I've got fifteen, and I want a quarter to see Nat Goodwin." This made Nat feel good and he readily gave up the dime. The boy looked at it and smiled. He turned toward Nat and said: "I've changed my mind, Nat, I believe I'll take in the Rag^ Baby." Nat threw a foot at him, but the boy was out of reach. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 95 Lawrence Barrett once said that the hands of the kids in the gallery are more apt to applaud than the kids of the hands of the parquette. They have a burlesque actress stopping at Long Branch, who, the boys say, rows out about a half-mile from the shore when the weather is bad and sings to keep the vessels from coming ashore. She has a fog-horn voice. Charley Zimmkrmann having heard of the large price paid by photographers to noted persons in the profession to sit for their pictures, some as high as $1500, offers to give them a sitting for forty cents and throw in the Empire Theater (Indi- anapolis) office cat. When Charley Smith was running the Vine Street Opera House he was called on, one day, by a young girl who wanted a chance to warm the varnish on the chairs in the female minstrel scene. She had a pretty face; but, oh, my! how thin she looked, and Charley told her that she was too thin to wear tights. She said: "Try me to-night and see." He did and she was the prettiest formed girl ever in the building, and no padding was used either. You must not always judge by appearances. The elder Joe Emmet, while playing an engagement at old Wood's Theater, gave a pass for "seventeen." John Havlin, who was treasurer of the theater at the time, refused to honor it. The party went to the stage door and told Joe. He was pretty well loaded and said the curtain should not go up until the pass was received. Barney Macauiey, the manager, arrived on ihe scene about this time and the facts were reported to him by Havlin. " I'll have to stand in with Joe," said Barney, "I've been standing in Trith him all the afternoon, and I'm just as full as he is." The seventeen filed in. 90 PIC|KINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. A Kentucky distiller has the picture of Mary Anderson for advertising purposes. Guess they call it "Our Mary's Sour Mash," meaning some one who would like to he Mr. Mary Anderson. Milt Gotthold made his stage debut at the age of ten, as "Eva" in "Uncle Tom's Cabin." Next he appeared as "Topsy," then as "one of the bloodhounds," then as "Uncle Tom," and finally he blossomed into a grand manager. Milt is a wonder. Tom Gakrigan was distributing cards of the dog show last week, and, in striking a butcher shop over the Rhine, he asked the woman in charge if he might hang one of the cards in the window. "Well, yes," she said, "but do you think it would be right to put the picture of a dog in a sausage store?" Tom thought it a poor place for a dog and waltzed off. When Uncle John Eobinson was in the full bloom of health he always traveled with the circus. One morning, after driving all night, (it was during the days of wagon shows), his song drove up to a hotel in West Virginia that was run by a preacher, and one of them springing from the buggy started towards the hotel, after exclaiming: "Where is the — man who runs this — hotel?" The minister hearing this unseemly language from the man of the sawdust ring, threw up his hands in holy horror and said, "the young Robinsons would drive away all his other boarders." At this moment Uncle John drove up. Running out to him, the clerical gentleman said: "Mr. Robinson, your sons are using profane language in my house." Uncle John straightened up and yelled: "What, my boys swearing in your house? Where are the — scoundrels? I'll break every — bone in their — bodies, yes I will, — 'em," PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 97 Isn't it strange that a star actress should haye a leading man without falling in love with him? A couple of song and dance men appeared in Chicago re- cently, and hilled themselves as "Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde, the hard-egg song and dance men." When Dickie Mansfield hears of this he will have heart trouble. "I'm a professional and I want to go in and see the show," said an individual to Bill Anderson, manager of "Two Old Cronies," the other evening. "Don't know you," said Bill. "Well, I don't know you either, so its hoss and hoss." He got in. It has reached that point with the average actress of the day, that, after she has worked all the advertising schemes on her string, she winds up by suing her husband for divorce, and she generally gets there, too. In nine cases out of ten the husband is only too willing to stand any charge made against him for the sake of being free once ipore. Gus WnxiAMS is to blame for the following: One morn- ing at rehearsal in a Harlem variety theater the serio-comic handed the leader her song, entitled: "Who Owns the Baby?" and said: "Now I sing a verse of the song and stop to say to you 'Who Owns the Baby?' and you say I do." "I won't do it," said the leader, "But you must," said the serio-comic. " I'm d — d if I do. My wife and mother-in-law are in the audience every Monday night and I don't propose to be killed." A compromise was made on the bass fiddler, who agreed to own the baby for a week. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. A dying actor told his physician that he could die in peace if he was sure his name would be "starred" on his tomb-stone. Some one writes me that Rising Sun, Ind., has a genuine ghost, and it is continually walking. What a picnic this would be for some of the road shows. The name of a leading lady of a "Monte Cristo" company traveling through Pennsylvania, doing the two by twice towns, is Helen Frost; and the weather is quite warm in that section of the country at that. A young and pretty actress said to me the other day: " Why do many of the critics, in speaking of a handsome act- ress, say she captured the dudes? Now, a dude is an idiot, and actresses prefer to capture men with brains, if they capt- ure any at all." That was a great speech Bob IngersoU made at the seventh anniversary of the Actors' Fund, and ' one remark the orator made that actors • would do well to take under consideration. He said: "Orthodox religion has been the enemy of the theater. It has been the enemy of every possible comfort, of every rational joy, that is to say of amusement. And there is reason for this. For if that religion be true, there should be no amusement. If you believe that in every amusement is the peril of eternal pain, don't amuse yourselves. I have always loved the theaters and the stage simply because it added to the happiness of my life. But they say it is immoral. Now I believe that everything in. the world that tends to make men happy is moral. Everything that buds and blossoms and breathes the breath of joy is moral. Nobody can be mor& immoral than to want his own, life sour as well as others," PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. gg Mrs. Bkown Potteb has thirteen new Parisian gowns which she is using to elevate the stage. One of the curiosities at the Museum, last week, was a woman who could not stop talking. Where did they get the Wea that she was a curiosity ? You can shut up an umbrella — GiBL in New York dramatic agency. — "I want to get a position in the chorus." Manager — "What is your voice?" Giri— "Soporalto." Leg shows are not what they used to be. We are having too much of them. There is too much of a sameness in legs, and, in most shows, too much of a display of beef. Only a hog cares to see the whole world at a single glance. Mk. Cahill, the comedian, in speaking of the statement of several road managers that the "tank" was something new to the stage, says: "A water tank was used in a play called 'The Tempest,' at the Theater Eoyal in Dublin, in 1843." Those who are familiar with the play of "Monte Cristo," remember that the hero has three of his enemies to see out of the road during the action of the drama. The other evening at the Walnut, when the second man shoots himself. Monte Cristo, holding up two fingers, said: "Two!" Frank Sternberg was sitting in the front row with his best girl, and it seemed as if the actor was looking directly at him; so he said to his girl: "Come on; we'U go home now." "What for? The play isn't over," said the lady. "I know," Frank said, "but I oidy had a pass for "t\Vo." PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. One of our regular dead-heads had a dream the other night that he paid to go in a theater. He -woke up in a cold sweat. LoBD Hope is considered by the boys who ever met May Yohe to be a brave man, as he has really married her. There is no two weeks' clause in this contract. A sloop recently capsized in the river near Philadelphia, and four persons were drowned. A museum manager has now on exhibition a man who saw the boat upset. It is a strange thing to me that variety actors, as a rule, are not aware that originality is the road to success. No branch of the profession has such a wide field to work. While in Louisville, recently, I called on the Whallen Brothers. In the many years that they have been in business together they have yet to have their first quarrel. Something unusual for brothers associated in business. I was requested to read a new play, last week, written by a young lady of this city. At the close of the first act, three females are rescued from a band of savages on the coast of Africa by a company of U. S. soldiers, who arrive on the scene by railroad. I quit here. The actors and actresses who travel on their good looks, can only hope to reach a middle plane at the highest. The four greatest actors of to-day, are the elder Salvini, Coquelin, Irving and Jefierson, and they are far from being in the pretty class. . The same can be said of our greatest actresses, Ellen Terry, Bernhardt and Clara Morris. Good looks has proved the ruin of more than one clever actor and actress. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. lOI If Mrs. Potter plays here she will have to see our Pottery. I received some verses from a stage-struck young lady, en- titled: "I am waiting." The verses are not — I sent them back. Perhaps the ladies will drop the high hats now worn at the theaters if the men will stop parting their hair in the middle. The manager or agent who claims to have cleared a profit of less than $20,000 on the season, is not "in it" at all with those who hang out on the New York Eialto. When it comes to imagination, the man who does not indulge in big figures has no excuse for living. , One day, just before the production of the "Arrant Knave" at the Grrand, Steele Mackaye, the author, was rehearsing the Cincinnati girls who took part as nuns in the convent scene, and said to them: "Now all you have to do is to look as if you hadn't seen a man for several years." The girls all say that this is real hard acting. Small boy — "Who is that man with the very tall hat and tight fitting shoes? The man who looks like he owned the earth." Man — "That is an advance agent." 8. B. — "Well, who is the other man with the taller hat, with that air of care hanging a foot thick on him?"| Man — "That^s the treasurer." S. B. — "Who is the quiet looking man who looks like he was there on suflferance?" Man — "Oh, he's only the manager." PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. The average actor eujoys nothing better in life than monkey- ing with the "tiger" now and then; but in summer, he finds penny-ante plenty good enough for him. It was reported in the papers a few days ago, that an actor was found dead on the street in Kalamazoo, and that he had starved to death. The reports do not mention the name of his hotel. The position of advance agent is, in one sense, a thankless one. If too energetic, he is considered "too fresh." If he moves along easily, "he is too slow and dead." When the company first start out, their agent is a hustler and a dandy. If business drops, his abilities generally drop in the estimation of the company. Managers of theaters should give some attention to the condition of the dressing-rooms in their houses. How many of them would dare to think of neglecting to clean their own private houses and dwellings, at least once a year. I wonder if some of the nasty, unhealthy dressing rooms have ever been aired in the same length of time. This little attention would be greatly appreciated by the boys and girls. Chas. a. Hoyt, on last Tuesday night, at New Bedford, while "A Midnight Bell" boomed out the hour, observed a "Tin Soldier" take from his pocket "A Bunch of Keys" and proceed to unlock the ice house door, and carefully lay aside "A Eag Baby" that he carried in his arms, and take fj^om "A Hole in the Ground" "A Brass Monkey" of immense pro- portions. He then went to "A Temperance Town," waving "A Milk White Flag," scaring "A Black Sheep," making "A Trip to Chinatown." PICktNGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. IO3 GiBLs in tights have been known to get tight themselves. George Heuck tells me that this is as good a watering place as there is in America, that he can sit in front of the theater and see the watering carts pass the house every hour. An actor friend of mine has a bright little boy. His father told him one day to drink plenty of milk as it would make his cheeks red. The kid asked if "that was what colored Pa's nose?" Ma laughed, but Pa never smiled. Jim Pbnnessy got on the weighing machine at the Museum yesterday, and it didn't budge an inch. With a pale face Jim said: *'My goodness, I know I am thin, but I thought I weighed something." Jim hadn't put the coin in the slot. They belonged to the same company and used the same dressing-room and were inseparable companions. "Talking of ages, dear, how old are you?" "Oh, I've given up telling it. I am just as old as -I ap- pear to be." "Really, I always imagined you were so much younger." MiND-EEADiNG- is becoming altogether too common. It should not be encouraged. Those fellows that know just what other fellows are thinking about are dangerous, to say the least, and just think of it, what if the women should catch on to the snap, what earthly show would a poor devil of a husband have? How could he play the lodge racket when his wife knew a41 the time that her hubby was thinking of the pleasure he would have in a game of poker, or in meeting a pretty member of the ballet? No, sir, the mind-reader must go for good. 104 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. A new play for the road is called "A Bar of Soap." The cast ought to be a clean one. "OvEK THE Hills" is the name of a new attraction. What is that old song about "Over the Hills,'' etc.? The bald-heads are the polite men at the theater. They not only take off their hats, but their hair also. The new play, "Her Father is said to be Very Strong." It is to be hoped that the old man will not have to test his strength walking home. In one of the New York theaters, recently, a matinee per- formance of an opera was given in less than an hour. The tenor wanted to go to a ball game. I sincerely hope that the nine patients of a lunatic asylum in New York, who defeated nine actors in a game of base ball, will not try to go on the stage, as it is feared they will. If the London police will be on the alert, they will prob. ably find out that the Whitechapel fiend is some broken- down tragedian. A man who has murdered Shakespeare will do anything. A Cincinnati lady, who was lately visiting some friends in one of the opera companies now playing in St. Louie, sat behind the scenes, and noticing a rather bold looking girl standing in one of the wings, remarked to the stage manager: "What is the name of that brazen-faced girl over there?" The reply was a staggerer, as the manager said: "Ask your son. He took her to lunch after the show last evening.' PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. lOJ The son of Wm. Davidge, the veteran actor, writes me that his father's last -words were: "God bless and save us all, Boys. Tm dying." A local manager sent me a communication, one day last week, and the word "great" appeared eight times in ten lines. Most too many "grates" for hot weather. As Bob Miles was standing in front of the Grand, one day last week, his eyes full of tears from hay fever, a kind hearted old gent stepped up to him and said: "Here, my poor man, take this nickel and stop crying." A lady, when quite young, met with an accident by which one of her limbs was broken. As she grew up, one was shorter than the other. But this did not prevent her from wanting to go on the stage as a song and dance artist, and she called on the old-time minstrel, BUly Arlington, to ask his advice on the subject. "My dear girl," said Billy, "the only thing that stands in your way is that off foot of yours." "What would you advise me to do?" "Break the other leg and make it a stand off." She did — not. The C. L. C. (Centennial Liar Club) met last Sunday evening, and, at eight o'clock. President Willie Owens rushed in the room, pale and trembling. Said Owens, "I have had a terrible experience to-day. Went up in one of the balloons at Coney Island, and when about five thousand feet high, the balloon burst and I fell in the river and was drowned before aid could reach me." There was a painful silence for some time, and nothing could be heard but the fall of beer drops from the mustache of Secretary O'Brien. Mr. Owens was then re-elected president for another term. 166 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CltATTfeR. If you have talent, try the stage, if so inclined. The stage will have to stand it. Managkk Baker, of Harris', should go on the stage. A Baker ought to be able to play leading "rolls." The usher who tackled the safe at Harris' found it im- possible to keep house, attend the races, set up the drinks, on $3 a week. "How is the house?" Asked a friend of a popular manager. "Can't get them in," was the reply. "It must be packed." "No, they won't come." A correspondent says: "The fashion this season will be for ballet girls to wear shorter skirts." Where are their skirts now? Nothing but a ruffle around the neck. It is reported that the Sultan of Turkey has murdered an American prima-donna. Oh, if some of the fly-by-night serio- comics would visit that country and fall into the hands of His Royal Highness. A man was found dead on Court street, one day last week. He had been seen looking at an old lithograph picture of Coney Island, that hung in the window of a vacant store, and the supposition is that he froze to death. Miss Pauline Maekham's own name is Pauline Hall, when she adopted the stage she thought the name too common and chose the one she is now known by. Had she used her own name when she came over with Lydia Thompson, the lady now known as Pauline Hall would have hunted up some other stage name. PICKINGS Prom Lobby chatter. 107 "Heij) by the Enemy" — The actor's trunks. Ballet dancers are like canned goods. They get this way by dancing the can-can. PatM is called the "Diva." Such a diver into a man's pocket-book was never before known in the show business. New York actors have a new drink called "apple jack sour.'' Four of them will make a man believe he can go "Around the World in Eighty Minutes." Little Arthur Dunn says they are very strict in the matter of fines in the Blue Beard company, and that Ed. Foy was once fined $10 for getting to rehearsal too early. Gus Williams tells of an old farmer who caught his son in the kitchen kissing the colored hired girl. He gave the boy a cuff on the side of the head and said: "I suppose the next thing I know you will be smoking cigarettes." At the office of a hotel catering for the profession: Landlord — "I think he is a drummer; give him the best room in the house." Clerk — "He's not a drummer, he's an actor." Landlord — "An actor! Put him on the roof." They tell me that Henry Dixey has read the riot act to his chorus girls for rushing the growler between the acts. The great and only "Adonis" should not kick on a little thing like that. I remember when he was a member of the chorus him- self, and at that time he couldn't rush the growler too often. But thus great stars are sheol on showing their authority. •"o PICKINGS PROM LOBBY CHATTKR. In some of the productions nowadays there is more scenery than acting. At the beginning of the season Ed. Rice sent for Flora Moore, for the purpose of engaging her for "Gabriel" in "Evangeline." "How is your voice?" asked the festive Edward. "Pretty good," replied Miss Moore. "Suppose we try it?" said Rice. This was too much for the clever artiste, who said : "That she had only been on the stage a short time, but too long to have her voice tried. If you have never heard me sing, pome down to the Bowery where I am playing. Here is a dollar to buy you a ticket.'' The serio-comic in a Buffalo variety theater, became ill dur- ing her engagement, and her place was filled by one of the first part ladies, whose salary was $5 a week, but on this occafiion was raised to $7. The title of her song was: "On the Promenade." On the second night of her serio-comic en- gagement she made a stage wait and was find $2. She related her woes to the audience the next night, in the following style : "You see, ladies and gentlemen, I am not the regular serio- comic, she's sick, and I am takjng her place. I am a chair warmer. Last night I received a telegram' from my brother _ in Leadville, telling me he was pretty sick and about to die. You know how it is when your brother is sick? It made me feel pretty bad. "Go on with your song," interrupted the stage manager, "or get off!" "I'll not get off, and you bet your Bweet life the fine don't go. My brother in Leadville is good people, and I missed my cue on account of going in the dressing-room and having a cry, but with all my sadness and gloom you will always find me 'On the Promenade.'" PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. fog One-eyed men are now admitted to the theaters at half price. SouBEETTES are generally the best natured girls in the pro- fession ; but when they do get mad, look out. A -well-known gentleman tells me that Los Angeles is dead as a show town that there is crape on the city gates. Herbert Cawthoen tells me that he always thought that Postmaster-General Wanamaker was not a drinking man, until he saw by the new two-cent stamp that he had been painting "Washington red." George Loomis, the clever agent of the Emma Abbott company, tells the following on himself: He says, "Some years ago, whUe in Chicago, I put up at the Leland in grand style. One afternoon, feeling a bit tired, I took oflf my clothes and lay down on the bed. Soon a boy came with a package, it was a new Prince Albert coat from my tailor, I put on my gaiters and then tried on the coat. It fitted like a glove, and before I knew what I was up to, I was out of the room into the hallway, and a moment later going down the grand stairway where I met a number of ladies and gents, and they all gave me such looks that to save my life I couldn't think what was the matter with me; every one I met gazed for all that was out, and some of the ladies seemed horror-stricken. It worried me like the deuce; for I felt something was wrong in my make-up, but I never tumbled until within a few feet of the end of ihe stairway, where I struck a mirror; and, great guns! Would you believe it? There I was without my pants, and in white cotton drawers at that. It was a caution the way I flew up those stairs and into my room. I changed my hotel." I PICJCINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. It is one thing to be an actor and another thing to act. EvEEY actor should be married. It will prove a protec- tion from female cranks, who must marry an actor or have "blood." f I heard a kicker say, last week, that what the public really wanted is a play where all the actors get killed in the first act and stay dead. I.T has always been a mystery to me why ninety-nine men out of a hundred prefer to visit a show on a dead-head ticket to seeing the performance on an independent basis. To make an attraction draw one must have one. One actor does not make a show, especially one of average ability or one on the decline. A lot of sticks monkeying through a poor play can't catch on tHese times, when every one is on the look- out for something fresh and new. Lew Dockstadeh told me a good story on John L. Sulli- van, the other day, that has never been published. While the champion was in training for one of his matches, Mrs. Fiske, "The Giddy Gusher," now deceased, told Lew she would like to go to his training quarters and take Mrs. Langtry with her, the latter being very desirous of seeing Sullivan. Lew and John were old friends and the latter said he would be glad to meet the ladies. On their arrival at the Sullivan quarters they were introduced, and, after shaking hands, the champion said: ' 'Ladies, would you like to see me strip ? " Of course he ment to show them his muscle, but the "Jersey Lily" was "not on" and she blushed to the roots of her hair. "The Gusher" winked at Lew and said: "We should be proud to." And Sully stripped. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. Did you ever notice that the older an actress is the better (-lie plays a young girl, even if she doesn't look it? Why is it that the lithographs of famous pianists and vo- calists make them look like escaped lunatics? Did you ever notice it? « When will actors get it out of their heads that a show can't get along without them? As soon as they get that way their usefulness is gone. It makes the regular dead-heads feel like committing sui- cide to have a firslxslass show strike the city and learn that the free list is suspended for the week. Why must the average tenor be below the medium size, sport a big black mustache and still bigger head? This ques- tion was asked me by a lady and I give it for what it is worth. The latest thing for some of our actors, when they engage with a manager, is to get two contracts, one showing the genu- ine salary, the other his bluflf salary. The latter is for his friends, and is usually made out for twice the amount he re- ceives. Billy Leachman, now convalescing, at the Burnet House, from a severe illness, was charmed by the visits of his many friends. Among those who called one evening, when he was in a dangerous condition, was the famous Italian, Mique O'Brien, who, after expressing his sorrow for the bad condition of Billy, said, consolingly: "Old man, I hope you will pull through, but if you don't, remember I am down for that yel- low diamond stud of yours." BICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. Isn't it strange that no matter how old an actress becomes, she still thinks she can play a young girl's part? John Stetson tells of a restaurant keeper in Boston who is worth $500,000, made by cutting pies in five pieces. A man who tries to keep track of the marriages and di- vorces in the profession at the present time, will be kept pretty busy. People go to the theaters to be amused, and not to be educated in dramatic art. The sooner managers tumble to this fact the more money they will have. The opera " Goetterdsemmerung," bothered the girls in New York, as when they were asked to name the opera they would like to visit, it sounded like swearing. It is one thing to be a bill-poster and another to post bills. The true bUl-poster is an artist, and you can tell his work every time. He is worth his weight in gold, for he is a decidedly scarce article. Nobody has any business on the street when Pat Reilly is out walking, as that monster diamond pin of his is apt to knock a passer-by sailing. They say the jewel used to belong to the Czar of Sussia ; but he got hard up, and — well Pat has it now. During one of the most ultra emotional moments in the last act of one of Miss Morns' plays at the Grand, last week, the leading man's speech was, "There, my God, will no one speak? Who is this woman?" A voice from the gallery sang: "She's my Anrie, I'm her Joe." PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. II3 ToKY Pastor began his life as a showmaa by singing tem- perance songs, but took his beer just the same then as he does now. Fkank Daniels was a tooth -puller in his younger days, and did not make the people smile as much at that business as he does by his acting. Have been told that the employes of some of the PhUar delphia theaters are paid off in tickets, which they peddle around selling for whatever they can get. Gus Williams' latest story: "Hello, Hiedersheimer, I dink ve will have rain to-day." "Well," replied H., "you have a nerve! Since when did we become partners?" I can't see what is to become of the variety stage in the dear future. All the best people are deserting it for farce- comedy, and few new faces are coming in to fill up the ranks. Why is it that people will insist in taking babies to the theaters to annoy audiences and disturb the performers? A year- old "kid" will surely not enjoy a play as well as it would a bottle of soothing syrup at home. PooK, dead and gone Barney MaCauley. I spell it just as we used to before he saw unhappy days. He said to me, one day: "Come to the theater this evening and see my new member of the company. He's all legs, and looks as if be had just broke out of a church pulpit." And now Wm. GiUette is a star and successful dramatic author, and his legs and bis funny features have, as well as his pen, aided him in gaining fame and fortune. 114 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. John F. Ea^mond was a printer, and was known as plain John F. O'Brien before he became famous as an actor. Some actresses seem to depend more on the heaving of the bust than on the expression of the face for effect. Perhaps I am wrong, but I think not. There is a local manager of one of the Indiana towns who wears a fur-lined overcoat when he makes terms for a combi- nation. A road manager received a contract from him the other day with icicles hanging all over it. Frank Btjsh, now one of the best of all the dialect come- dians, who left the vaudeville stage, was at one time one of the bright particular stars of the Grand Duke's Theater, (admission two cents), which flourished a great many years ago in Baxter street. New York. As Will Kising, of the Lotta company, started for the depot last Monday morning, a man stepped up to him and asked: "Can I carry your grip?" "You can," whispered Rising, "and I wish you had been carrying it all the week." Then he sneezed twenty-seven times by actual count. When May Irwin, of the City Directory company, went into the business, she was with a comedy company. "Where do we open?" she asked of the manager. "We will try the new piece on the dogs at Norristown." When the party reached the city, she asked the hotel keeper where the great kennels were located the town was noted for. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER, II5 Six advance agents talked of their past lives and how great they were, in Akron, Ohio, last Sunday, but did not attend church. "It's a great thing to be an actor," remarked a Vine street concert hall ham the other day. ''It gives a man a good deal of satisfaction to hear folks say as you. go by, there goes an actor.". It is not generally known that Ralph Delmore is one of the cleverest fencers on the stage; can handle his dukes with any one of the boys, and is a capital all-around athlete. One thing is sure, Ralph is a finished actor, and as the stage vil- lain has no superior. "Do you love my sister?" is a question Duncan Harrison asked John L. Sullivan in "Honest Hearts and Willing Hands,'' one. night, when John L. was pretty full of milk and seltzer. He replied: "Yes, if she is an Elk." John had just been initiated, and probably instructed to love all Elks. John Havlin wants to be the owner of a monster tent show, and hopes to be one of these days. About eighteen years ago, I remember, John and Harry Bates started out from here with a circus, the proud owners of one of the side shows, Iconsisting, to the best of my recollection, of a lame cow, a three-legged hog and a one-eyed parrot. The night be- fore they left they were buying wine and twenty-five cent cigars for "The Angel Club." When they returned in about a month, they were smoking clay pipes and glad to get beer. • But John stuck to the show business and he is , now on top, and ^ no one is more happy over his success than bis old friend, Ab There, Il6 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. John Kogers registers at the hotels as Jolin K. Rogers, "anywhere." When John Marble was the comedian of the old Wood's Theater he was the possessor of a watch which was considered the best time -keeper in the city, from the fact that every day at noon, when the big bell at the engine house struck twelve, John would pull out his watch and it was always on the dot. This was kept up for months, when one day it occurred to John Havlin, who was then the treasurer of the theater, that no one ever saw John pull out his watch except at the noon hour. So one evening, about six o'clock, he asked Marble the time. The watch stood on the dot for 12 o'clock, and then Marble owned up. The watch was without works, and the face was set for the noon hour. Beet Dasher, business manager of "A Brass Monkey," loves to tell stories of his past life, and, as Bert is a second George Washington, his stories are always enjoyable. A few evenings ago he told a circle of admiring friends the follow- ing: "In 1870, when I was an officer in the British army, stationed at Alexandria, Egypt, I was ordered to take com- mand of a raid to be made in the interior. On the second day's march we were struck by a sand storm on the desert, and when I got out of the sand under which I was buried for three days, I found myself alone and starving to. death. In the distance I saw a solitary hut, and dragging myself along I managed to reach it, and fell in the open door. An old Arab was the only inhabitant. He saw at once my condition, and said 'the only thing to eat he had was a handful of corn meal,' which he placed in my hand. As I raised it to my mouth I coughed, the meal flew to the winds and I dropped dead." Some one broke the silence and asked Jim Pennessy what he thought of the story, but Jim was paralyzed. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. I17 P. T. Baknum claims to be tie owner of the biggest lyre ever seen. Now he has about twenty advertising agents and I would like to know which one he refers to. EvEEY actor should learn to saw wood. This thing of get- ting stranded without a cent, and five hundred miles from home, is not at all pleasant. There is nothing like having a trade to fall back on. With what perfect ease some actors sit in a beer saloon and tell of the wonderful acting they have done, and there is never a soul to dispute their statement, as no one ever saw them act or ever will. Wiii. McCoNNELL, professional wag and story teller, is at present acting as press agent for H. R. Jacobs' two theaters in Chicago. A few weeks ago, M'cConnell purchased a seal- skin cap, which had upon its peak the customary two small seal balls. Hearing that Jacobs was to arrive in town that night, he sent the cap back to the store and had another ball added. He entered the theater in the evening, and going up to Manager Jacobs, pointed to the cap and remarked: "You see, Governor, I am with you now." A manager gave me the following chin music the other day: "It is very probable that the general public has little or no idea of the extent to which complimentary tickets are asked for, or of the great hole they make in the managerial pocket-book, which is generally thin enough; yet this has much to do with the prevalent bad business on the road. Why should this be? The manager pays for what he gets. He pays his printers, his musicians, his ushers; he pays his baggage man, his landlord, his railway fares. Yet all -those people want free passes." Il8 PICKINGS PROM LOBBY CHATTER. Will ruaiiagers ever tumble to the fact that a short and strong notice of an entertainment is better than a half-column of slush? It sometimes takes more than one star to make an enter- tainment a success. The sooner managers tumble to this fact, the better for all hands. No matter how much admiration a man may have for the fair sex, after seeing the chorus women in a grand opera com- pany he feels like entering a monastery. They are great on style in Pittsburg. A road manager, who played that city recently, tells me "that a man came to the theater one evening with a ticket to a private box, wearing a handsome dress suit, with his pants tucked in the tops of his rubber boots." Said a lady, the other day, in my hearing: "I don't 'see how such a wicked woman as Sara Bernhardt can play the role of a saint to perfection, as the papers claim she is doing at present in Paris," My dear lady, experience has taught men that the more wicked the woman the easier for her to assume the role of a saint. Whuje the "Galley Slave" company was playing at one of Jacobs' Theaters, three weeks ago, McConnell worked up a professional matinee. The company comprised such veterans as Theodore Hamilton, Gussie DeForrest, Frank Evans, H. Liston, etc. McConnell sent out invitations reading: "Old Folks' Assembly, Grand Reunion of the Pioneers." He sent Joseph Jefferson, Maggie Mitchell, J. H. McVickers and Uncle Dick Hooley, orders for private boxes. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. II9 'You ■will at times find flats on the stage not belonging to the scenery of the same. Billy Pennessy claims that Emma Juch always rides in a Pullman, although she sings Wagner. Wonder if Pete Baker ever thinks of his old pard, Farron, and longs for the days when every thing went their way? Louis Habbison says that managers who are now putting up new theaters, may, before long, be putting up their watches. They have a theater in one of the far West cities, where the stage is so small they can only play four acts of a five-act drama. When the new play of "Noah's Ark" is produced in New York, and they need any one to play "Ham," they will find plenty in the profession. It is not generally known that Leon, the famous female impersonator, was at one time a dry goods clerk in this city, and called "cash thirty-one" as sweet as any of the boys. A party applied for admission to Havlin's, the other even- ing, stating that he was a "male soubrette," and then he showed a variety programme with his name on it as a "female impersonator." A very, suburban young man stepped up to the box-office of the Grand, New Year's Night, and asked for two seats in the "Rochester." Lew Wiswell- handed him the tickets with the remark: "There's two in Syracuse. They are both in the same state." Pickings from lobby cSATTEit. "la he acting?" "He must be. He doesn't seem natural." They have a saloon in New Orleans called the "Truth Exchange." No advance agent ever goes near it. A girl who can't turn a "flip-flap'' on the stage, has no business to think of becoming a first-class actress. Barney Maoauley despised a man who would eat peanuts, but when on his drinking bouts, was almost constantly eating them himself. Some of the alleged comedians with whom we are afflicted this season, are about as funny and exhilarating as a bottle of embalming fluid. An alcohol foot-bath is one of the late prescriptions for the renewal of youth, or removal of freckles, or something. This will be good news for the soubrettes. ^ "I wish I wasn't such a 'sawed-off",'" said an actress to me recently. "It's the tall and willowy woman who has the call with managers, unless you are a soubrette." A barber was telling me, recently, that "were it possible he would refuse to shave minstrel performers." He says "that the burnt cork they use lodges permanently in the skin and dulls and almost ruins any razor." Sybil Johnson has a young husband, and some' one wants to know if he is enjoying her .success "as an undresser" in the Cleraenceau Case. But come to think of it, actresses' hus- bands, the non-professional, are only lieutenants in the company. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 121 A Western actor died, recently, and his sorrowing manager paid a delicate compliment to the widow by sending a floral pillow with "standing room only'' in immortelles. A writer, in speaking of an actress, said: "Her face was surmounted by an abundance of ripplfe hair." I don't know what kind of hair this is, but hope it isn't the short kind. Jake Taitnenbaum got a telegram once requesting a date for "The Three Fast Men." Jake answered : "Andy McKay, John Hickey and Charles Hicks have already played Mobile." Emma Abbott was not a great singer nor a beautiful woman, but she had a womanly charm about her that was irresis- tible. She had a big heart and was never afraid to stand up for what she believed to be right. She was idolized by her sex, and her untimely death is mourned by thousands of her fair sisters. All of the boys know that Lotta's mother is a pretty lively old lady, and managers and agents speak of her in terror. I hear that the soubrette herself is not allowed to do much arguing when a question is sprung. But for all that, Lotta owes much of her financial success to the shrewdness of the old lady, who is business from the word go. In writing me of his marriage, Billy McConnell says: "The drop fell at 11:30, I passed my last night on earth with Frank Murray, who was my best man. The last thing he did, was to hand me a card of a Chicago divorce lawyer that he stands in with. Do you know, hereafter I am going to associate with bunko men and confidence opeiJatprs." 122 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. If some actors would keep from acting they would be better actors. After all, I think you will agree with me that the heart drama is the real drama. On all Emma Abbott's writing paper was the motto: "Conquer or die." She did both. Andy Gilligan tells a good one on Nat Goodwin: "Some years ago, when this now good city was given over to the enriched gamblers, and few held high sway, Nat Goodwin, who, was then in partnership with Ed. Thorne, appeared at the Grand Opera House, in a play caUed "The Black Flag." In the play Nat appeiared as a convict, and in his make-up looked just like a Sing-Sing bird. Now, it is known that Nat at that time was very fond of monkeying at the green cloth, and never let an opportunity pass by to win or loose a few chips. At that time, there was a secret game of faro going on on Long worth street, just in the rear of the Grand. Nat knew this, and as soon as the first act was over he was out of the theater and rushed into the gambling den with his convict suit on. He called for a stack ' of chips and com- menced to play, all present looked on with surprise, as they did not know but that a real escaped convict had appeared on the scene. In about twenty minutes, a call-boy from the theater appeared, and rushing up to Nat said: "The drop has gone up and they are waiting for you." " Drop be d — d; I don't move, until I get a drop here." Just then he did get a drop. It made him just even and he quit in good grace, and in time was back to the theater, and no one was aware of the fact that the fun-making convict was out on a little bit of a lark. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 123 At all the meetings of the "Knocking Club," the members open the seance by singing the "anvil chorus." It is quite cool now at all of our summer resorts; but dur- ing the heated term it requires a press agent to find the cool Have been told that Nat Goodwin, Henry E. Dixie and John L. SuDivan, were in the same class in one of the public schools of Boston, in their boyhood days. One of our managers had a queer experience last week. A notorious dead-head wrote for a pass for two, and actually enclosed a postage stamp for a reply. This is an unheard-of case, as they generally expect street car tickets furnished with their theater passes. The manager is better, but not yet able to be out. At the recent Actors' Fund benefit, in New York, a manager delivered a letter to Sadie Martinet, which was without a signature, and containing a fifty dollar note. It read: "Will Miss Martinot kindly give the bearer a few flowers for sweet charity sake?" Bert Dasher tells me it came from Andy McKay. When Jake Rosenthal was quite a boy, he went into a decline, his physician advised a change of scene. Jake hired out as scene shifter at the old Coliseum. Speaking of the Coliseum, reminds me of the first night there of a fat serio-comic, who was exceedingly fond of her beer. Just as she stepped on the stage to throw out her first note, the man at the bar was heard tapping a fresh keg. "Hello," said Dan Sully, who was playing here at the time, "both beer kegs opened at the same time." 144 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. A contortionist was recently killed in Philadelphia by fall- ing from a chestnut tree. Some of the end-men had better take warning and not climb for any more. I found Aaron Stern at a very tart show, one evening recently, and knowing that he had seen it before, asked how he could stand it the second time? He said "the orchestra had to stand it a dozen times a week, and he ought to be able to go it twice." "And where do you go from here?" asked the host at our hotel. "And where do you go from here?" asks the boy who answers 1- the ring of our bell. We have ordered ice water, and towels, and soap, and a call at six or near. And our trunks brought up, that the porter may ask: "Where do you go from here?" The fireman asks as he builds the fire, "Where do you go from here?" And the old friends too, ere their calls expire, "Where do you go from here?" The barber who shaves us and grasps his tips, " As we hurriedly disappear, With "call again" hushed on his trembling lip, "Where do you go from here?" "And where do you go from here?" Oh, heavens! "And where do you go from here?" Till in fancy we stand at the last command, Facing our doom with fear; Facing the keeper of the heaven's gates, As he peers outside with a leer. And says, "oh, yes; you're them actor-folks, Where do you go from here?" PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 12$ The stage people, take them as a whole, are generous, a good natured lot, and the world owes them much. Miss Adelaide Moore wears a No. 2 shoe. This fact was announced in Chicago papers, and hurt her business in that city. While with the "Nabobs" Miss Dora Wiley, the sweet singer of Maine, one evening sang "I Cannot Sing the Old Song," and for an encore sang "Annie Laurie," and "Home, Sweet Home." Wasn't this going back on her word? "Give me an egg-nog," said an actor of a queer show to a barkeeper in a one-night stand. "Can't do it; out of eggs." "None in town?" "No, they've all been bought up for your show to-night." The little pet opera singer, Marie Tempest, says "if she were not a singer, she would like to be a hospital nurse, and that she learned the profession some years ago." Well, my dear, when you decide to make the change wire the Cincin- nati Hospital, please, and the boys will all go in your ward. "WONDEEifthe stars, both male and female, are aware of the fact that many letters addressed to them never get nearer than the box-office of the theater in which they may be filling an engagement," said an old manager to me last week. "Why, who gets away with them?" "The manager. If they look like letters that wouldn't do for the parties to see, they quietly ^destroy them." "Is this straight goods?" "You bet, X have done lots of it myself." 126 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. Have you noticed the fact that great actors generally die poor, and only poor actors die rich? Isn't it funny? If that law forbidding the wearing of tights in Minneapolis passes the Legislature "Hamlet" will have to wear pants. ShOuu) John L. Sullivan conclude to try "Richard III," he would probably use the gloves in the fight with Richmond. A serio-comic wishes me to announce that she has changed her songs. If she would change ,her face and have her voice filed, she would "catch on" better. San Fkancisco wouldn't have Fay Templeton in long dresses, so she appeared in tights. They know the girl out there and know that there is nothing to her only her shape, and they only wanted the worth of their money. Manager. — "Your play is not very good in its present shape, but I can see possibilities in it." Star.— "Thank you kindly." Manager. — "That you will soon close season." In many of the cities East the police are required to in- spect all theatrical pictorial paper before it is allowed to go on the walls. This takes care of the morals of the citizens, but think of the poor police. It may corrupt the *' cops." A squib is going the rounds to the effect that Lillian Russell recently dined oif of a brace of golden Chinese pheasants worth $50. I can remember, and it was not very many years ago either, when a wiener-wurst was a good enough lunch for Lilliau after the show, PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 12J The profession is pretty well filled with actresses who have trick hearts. They need them in their business. A NEW song is called "You'll Never Miss Your Mother," Of course not. In speaking of the dear old lady you would call her Mrs. James O'Neil, was preparing himself for the Catholic clergy, when he changed his mind and became an actor, and a good one. Bob Grau, the great road impresario, has announced his intention of securing a divorce from his wife as soon as he can get nine other men to go in with him, so that they can get a "rate." George Beane, of "A Trip to Chinatown," tells me of a railroad lunch counter he struck in the west where they keep their pies dated. By the way, when George first started on the stage it was as a super, and they always called him the "Bean supe." Dear Ah There: " Seeing Stanley's pictures all over the country reminds me of the last time I played ' Siberia.' I was ahead of Newton Beers' ' Lost in London,' and wrote to the manager of the Grand at^Niwoniskky for a date. When he replied politely that 'they expected to have the yellow fever there about that time and did not want them both at the same date.' I met Charley Melville, ahead of 'Healey's Hibemicon Tomska,' he was playing one-night stands also, and I rode in his droshki some fifteen versts to the 'coal mines you hear so much about. Our ideas were up to concert pitch about these mines, but coal is just as cheap right here in Cin- cinnati," Punch Wheewr, 128 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. An actress in New York, last week, uot only lost a pair of diamond earrings but a train for Cincinnati. An agent wrote to Charlie Melville, last week, for an en- gagement, saying that "the company would have to play two- night stands, as he was a cripple." In writing the criticism of a. play the critic often has to say the villain was good. Now, how can a man be a villain and be good? Please figure this out. An actor with Bandmann, the tragedian, who had several weeks' salary due him asked for a dollar, the other day, when the irate star jumped on him, saying: "What are you trying to do, blackmail me?" A Texas barber once gave Ben Stern a tough shave, but the wily agent got even. He put on a wire wig and went over to have his hair cut. The barber ruined all the scissors in the shop before he tumbled. In Mexico everything must be produced as advertised. An American fakir billed a town and failed to get there. Two weeks later he was arrested and fined $50 for deceiving the people. He said "it was lucky for him they never saw the show or he'd been fined $500." Punch Wheeler tells me he will put a new star on the road next season in a play called "Hoboken by Candle Light." He says that "he has engaged Billy Thompson for the summer to run his weiner-wurst factory in Pennsylvania, to manufact- ure souvenirs for the coming tour," PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 129 The old boys in the front row at the ballet do not think that distance lends enchantment to the view. In a new French play it is required that an actor be shot at with a revolver in the hands of a party in the audience. This will be a great play in the West. EoLAND Reed is playing "Lend Me Your Wife." An actor who is being sued for divorce and alimony, recently wired him: "For God's sake, take mine." A well-known first violin player is now conductor on a street car in 'Frisco. He claims "he hasn't changed his busi- ness, as he was a conductor when he played first violin." Mes. Shaw, the whistler — "Look here, Mr. Manager, I want my money." Manager — "Oh, you will have to whistle for your salary." Ned Buckley was out, for a time this season, playing "Paul Kauvar." In the company was a very "tart" leading lady, and some one asked Ned where he got her. "She came with the manuscript," said Ned. Nick Kobeets tells me that while playing his "Humpty Dumpty" company in a Texas town, and during the course of the pantomime, the audience and actors were astonished by a man yelling out, "Louder." He proved to be deaf. Hugh Dougherty says that he once asked an impecunious acquaintance "Why don't you get shaved? Haven't you got the price?" The party in need of the razor, with a view to the next meal, responded: "Yes, but I can't eat my whiskers." 130 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. Some folks die young and some folks live to a ripe old age, but some of our female stars keep on forever. A company in the South, playing" Hamlet, uses a tank for Ophelia to drown in. Let us have realism on the stage. Will McConnell says "he always enjoyed a trip on the Hudson, gazing on the bluifs. They remind him so much of the actors." "This isn't a bad house," said an agent to me the other night as he pulled out a slip of paper which read, $926.75. In a few minutes I met the manager, who said: "Pretty good house for Monday night, near $700." Oh, dear, how the boys will mix things at times in the show business. Hebe are a few words of truth: Nerve, judgment, and determination, are just as essential to theatrical managers as capital. It often happens that a nervy manager, Awthout any capital to boast of, succeeds in accomplishing what his less determined rival, with substantial backing fails in. "What funny creatures these actresses are," says an old manager. "You never can tell how to take them. Here is a pretty woman who will only take roles that call for tights, and the less clothes she is called to put on the better she is satis- fied. And yet this frisky maiden, who, by the way, is a born flirt and a wine drinker from away back, refuses to play Sun- day nights, claiming that to act on that day is nothing short of a great crime. And here is another woman who is known as a wrecker of men's hearts by her handsome face and almost per- fect figure, and yet she absolutely refuses to appear in tights. They beat the devil, those actresses." PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. I3I In a Philadelphia Museum they advertise "the m^n with the big head." Isn't it queer he don't go starring in a new play? An irresponsible party has started the rumor that Sara Bernhardt will play the 'asp' of Fanny Davenport's 'Cleopatra.' This would be a good chance for Sara to get fat. These is a manager in Indiana who runs a laundry and sent the rules for washing shirts to actors. He struck one company the other night that had nothing but dickeys. Will MoConnell says: "I take off my hat to every horse I meet now. How do I know but some day he'll be a star in a 'Country Fair Company,' and I'll be only the agent." Chaeley Tennis, the smilmg manager of "The Nabobs," had a date in a Massachusetts town, and recently received the following from the manager of the opera house: "Just received copy for your 'ad' for the local papers, also reading notices. I didn't use it though, as the people in this town don't read the newspapers. Send lots of pretty pictures, that'll catch 'em." "I am playing in hard luck," said a pretty actress not long ago to me. "I had a monkey that I fairly idolized and it died. Then I bought a prize dog at a big price, and I had it stolen from me. Dear me, it's just my luck, I believe if I were to marry the homeliest man on earth, some other woman would elope with him within a week. But I get so lonesome at times that I feel the need of a pet of some sort, and I must either get married right away or get another dog or monkey.'' She got married, and now she swears that "her hus- band is nothing more or less than the ghost of the dead monkey.'' 132 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. Neither au actor nor a mule ever commits suicide, some one tells me. There is a well-known actress who shaves her upper lip with a razor just like a real man. Now guess who it is? Whjsn you notice that a queer joke by the comedian is received in dead silence, you can make up your mind that the ushers have gone out for a beer. An actor seen at one of our theaters last week, never uses a looking-glass. He has been advised by his medical adviser to avoid anything like a nerve shock. The other day, when May Tenbroek's thirteen-year-old dog named Snipe died, she actually went into mourning for it. I'll bet Henshaw is happy 'Snipe' was sniped. A property list for a company playing at one of our thea- ters, recently, called for "two masks and three dominoes." Mr. Props, got the masks from a costumer, and borrowed a box of dominoes from a saloon near the theater. Joe Cawthokn writes me "that if I know of thousands who woi(ld like to be the Anthony to Fanny Davenport's 'Cleopatra,' he knows as many more who would be even more willing to play the 'asp' in the last act.'' Charley Yale says "the first time he ever came to^Ciu- cinnati he walked in with a silver-mounted banjo under his arm. The manager of the show had played to paper all the previous nights, and that settled it. He 'hocked' the banjo, and lived on the proceeds at a fifteen-cent hotel for four weeks." PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 133 "Ah, flirting again?" Was the remark a well-known actor made the other day here, when he caught his wife drinking a small bottle with one of the boys. Some smart duck ought to write a play on "All the Com- forts of a Flat" It wouldn't take more than one act to tell the story; including janitor and coal bin. A New York actress, who has quite a showing of hair on her upper lip, was, last week, the recipient of a box contain- ing a safety razor. If she finds out who sent it she will use an old time razor on the party, and she will "cut deep." Julius P. Witmaek, that pretty kid-actor in "A Pair of Jacks," gives promise of a bright future. There is a sort of manly style about his looks and movements that is refreshing, and he is a singer way above the average. The only trouble he is liable to encounter, is a swelled head from being puffed too much, and die before he gets ripe. BEAii life is very seldom seen on the stage. The scenes presented are shams, even at their best. Everything is over- done. The actors who act like human beings in every day life are few and far between, I can count them on my finger ends. Good comedians,- now and then, give us touches of real life, but tragedians, never. There are no Edwin Forrests, Henry Irvings, Edwin Booths, Mary Andersons, or Clara Morrises, in real life, outside of the lunatic asylum; and even there, you would find them only in the wards where they wear straight jackets. The stage tragedian is a relic of the dark ages. There is nothing real in him and very little that's good ; and the sooner he dies the better for the world at large. 134 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. You may be a man who is a great lover of babies, but when one sets up a yell in a theater, the ardent affection vanishes. Some one in Kentucky wishes me to send them a list of the dramatic critics of Cincinnati. I will express him a city directory to-morrow. Several of the English actors here were talking about their clubs, the other day, when John Mackey told them "they ought to join a club he called the 'Westphalia.'" "Why do you call it that?" asked one of the gang. "Composed entirely of hams." And the band played the "Star Spangled Banner." A soubrette called on Tom Davis for a position in "The Hustler." "How much salary do you want?" asked Davis. "One hundred dollars." "For the season?" said Tom. As she went out of the room her accordion skirt fanned such a breeze that Will Keogh thought a storm was coming up, and he shut down the window. Everyone who knows the jolly Brooklyn manager, Col. Sinn, is aware of the fact that he dearly loves a friendly game of poker, and, although most always a looser, he indulges in the game quite often. During last season, a stranger called at the office of the Park Theater, and asked the Colonel's son, Walter, "who was the manager of the house?" Walter said that "Col. Sinn was an hour ago, but as he had gone over to Hyde & Behman's to play poker, he may have played in the lease by this time." The Colonel tells this on himself. Pickings prom losby caATTER. 135 An actor with the "jams'' bit off his thumb in a Chicago saJoon, the other night. He only wanted four fingers. Some one perpetrated a cruel joke, this week, by placing a sign in front of a well-known dramatic agency, which read as follows: "Wrinkles in faces nicely painted. Aged sou- brettes treated in confidence." "Have you signed for the next season?" asked an actor on Broadway, the other day. "No, but I have two very good things now." "What are they?" "Heaven and earth." When the late manager Pat Harris first took hold of the theater in this city which bears his name, he was not entirely "up in theatricals" and had to depend a good deal on his manager for advice as to his booking. Milt Gotthold said to him, one day that " 'Young Mrsf Winthrop' wanted a week, and he was in doubt about the attraction being of the kind that would suit the patrons of the house." "Oh," said Mr. Harris, "if she has plenty of good clothes and can act a little, give her a week and we'll chance her." During a performance of "Richelieu," some years ago, Edwin Booth turned to Julia and said: "And now, Julia, what can I do for you?" The leading lady promptly replied, sotto voce: "Play for my benefit." But hastUy went on with her right lines. • The audacity and the humor of the side speech, are said to have completely broken up the great tragedian. 136 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. Some of the "hams" in the profession could never be cured by smoking process. They are too tough. Lee Harrison was held ,iip in Chicago the other day by a highwayman. The robbers are in debt. The two weeks' clause in a contract between actors and managers is absurd. An| actor is no better off than if en- gaged for no specified time. AiNT it strange how great actors differ ? Edwin Booth says "it requires years of constant study and hard work to become an acceptable actor." While John L. Sullivan says "acting is dead easy,'' and that "any chump can catch on if he has the right sort of a trainer.'' During the brief time that Laura Burt was a member of the "Blue .Beard" company, a rather peculiar incident occurred. The company had an early morning jump from St. Joe to Omaha. The soubrette was not called in time and had only a few minutes to catch the train. Not having time to dress, she deliberately made the journey with nothing on but a pair of unmentionables and an ulster. The season of Jack Gordon's Knight Errant closed sud- denly in some jay Western town. The star was an actress named Livingstone, who gave as a reason for the company's collapse her refusal to marry the backer of the enterprise. He withdrew his support, and the company was plunged into distress. Backers always want something they can't get. This one was a little brighter than the usual run of angels. The show was loosing a whole lot of money, and the only way out of, the scheme was to propose marriage and be rejected. PICKINGS FROM LOBSy CHATTER. I37 , j^ It is ofttimes the treasurer and not the advance agent who is ahead of the show. When Pauline Hall was a iallet girl at the Grand Opera House, she hadn't voice enough to join in the simplest chorus. Her voice is a made one, and she is "deserving of success for the hard work she has done to gain her present position as one of the queens of the comic opera stage. In a little game of penny-ante among some professional friends the other evening, one of the party said to his wife, as he pulled in the stakes: "Thafs mine, dear, I've a full hand." "Don't dear me and take my money at the same time," said the wife. Punch Wheelee was sitting in front of Havlin's Theater, Chicago, one afternoon recently, with his limbs adorned with a pair of very queer checked pants, which caused manager Jim Hutton to remark : "For goodness sake, Punch, where did you get those pants?" "Don't say a word," said Punch. "Those pants cost me more than the 'Shenandoah' scenery." During the late Edwin Forrest's time, in the days of stock companies, he was playing a town in the West. Forrest hap- pened to be chatting to the door-keeper, one evening, when a rather curious looking feDow walked up to the door and said: "Do you pass the profesh?" "Yes, when we know them," said the door-keeper. "Well, I've got the educated hog on exhibition down the street." "Go right in, interrupted Forrest, I have a whole company of them inside." 138 PICKINGS From lobby cMATTEk. Some one told one of our maDagers, the other day, that a certain person had been back-capping him. "Don't give a d — ," he said, "I'll be riding in my own carriage when he is hunting a town clock to find^ut what time it is." Aklie Latham, the base ball player, and a friend were at the Grand last Monday evening. The friend went out several times, until finally Latham said: "Hadn't you better take your base now?" "Why?" "That makes four balls." "Did you engage that girl?" said one of the "Hustler" actors to Jake Eosenthal, who was talking with a youngJady in front of Havlin's, the other day. "I did," replied Jake. "Did you notice her teeth? They were all filled." "That's why I engaged her. In case the show gets stuck, there is enough gold in her teeth to get the gang out of town." When Flora Moore was playing "A Bunch of Keys" in the South she a^ked a colored chambermaid in the hotel if she would like to attend the theater. "What am de show?" asked the chambermaid. "What kind of a show do you like, minstrels?" asked Miss Moore. "No, I don't like dem frauds what black der faces and call themselves niggers." "Well, what kind do you like?" "I'll tell you de troof, Miss Moore. When dat Mister Shakespeare's pieces come around dese yer quarters, my people got to chain me to the floor." PICKINGS PROM LOBBY CHATTER. 139 Some ageuts work as hard as the musicians and use up about as much wind. I heard last week of a charming soubrette who claimed to be 27 years of age. She was reduced from 38. Many actresses do a great deal of work themselves on their magnificent dresses. Professional people are most all hard workers on and oif the stage. Whek Fisk, the water-tank manager, was killed in Fresno, the other day, several of his friends sent to his funeral a floral revolver inscribed "C. of Y. D." (Cause of your death.) Tailing of realism on the stage. I am sure that some actress could score a hit if she would only show , how a woman really disrobes. How she sits on the floor while taking ofi" her stockings, although there are a half-dozen vacant chairs in the room, and how, when she has flnished disrobing, she manages to have her clothes distributed on every chair and still have enough left to hang on the foot of the bed while her shoes occupy the center of the floor. Whek Milt Gotthold was managing the theater at Vine and Canal he had some pretty tart shows to play, which had been booked by his predecessor. The manager of one of them, on the opening night, asked Milt "how he liked the show?" "I don't want to flatter you," said Milt, "but it is as good a show as we have had for three weeks." "Thanks," said the manager, 'IJ'm glad you like it." "Like it! Who in h — said I liked it? The other shows were so rotten they came near having us indicted for running a stink factory, and after seeing your show I'm sure we are goners." 140 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. It is real mean to call Lydia Thompson the perennial bur- lesquer. There are several people in the country older than Lydia. Wonder why it is so many of the comic opera singers die young? It isn't their good voices that kill them, as but few of them can sing a little bit. John Robb and J. M. Gilbert recently went to Greenwood Lake for a day's fishing. The first bite they got was from a date-book, marked: "Time all filled," and signed "George W. June." / Roland Reed not only is a good all-around actor, but will rank with the cleverest comedians of the stage of to-day. There is nothing loud nor assuming about him. His funny business comes with a naturalness .that is always enjoyable. He wDl be alive and drawing good houses when a goodly number of the alleged comedians of the day are dead, buried and forgotten. Manager Tom Davis, of "The Stowaway," shot oflf the following, the other day, and his life is now in danger: "The extraordinary run of the farce-comedy has bred a great many alleged soubrettes, but most of them don't amount to anything. Promenading up and down Broadway every afternoon are several hundred women of various ages, and more or less badly dressed, who call themselves soubrettes. They may have played a small soubrette part somewhere at some time, and from that on besieged the managers for an engagement. A good many of these don't want an engagement, as they live by their wits about the streets of New York, on the reputation they have given themselves as actresses. Their pretensions are insulting to every woman that earns her living by legitimate business.'' PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. I4I Society girls, with a mission to elevate the stage, are springing up all over the country, but before they get her elevated they appear to loose their hold. I heard a man remark, yesterday, that he "hoped our managers would only book the best attractions for next season." He is a chronic dead-head, and never paid to go in a theater in his life. Had Bob Morgan, the printer, gone on the minstrel stage in his younger days he would have been now at the top. As an amateur, he was one of the best old-time darky delineators I have ever seen. "Where in hades is that thermometer that was in the lobby?" asked Jim Fennessy, at Heuck's the other day. "I took it down," said little Jakey, it was last years. Jakey thought thermometers run out the same as almanacs. In the time when Fritz Buchmann was running the Coli- seum, on the site of which was built Heuck's Opera House, Fritz was, one day, looking at a lithograph just put up in the bar-room of a hamfat star who was shortly to open the house. Calling to his manager, Jim Edwards, he said: "Jim, I'll bet he is a good actor; look what a big diamond pin he's got on." Soon after Francis Wilson arrived from Europe he called at the Broadway Theater to congratulate DeWolf Hopper on his success with "Castles in the Air." "You see, my boy," said Francis, "that sometimes New York newspapers' slugging doesn't amount to much after all. You are simply repeating my experience with 'The Oolah;' I got it in the neck a great deal worse than you did, but I made $75,000 out of it just the same." 142 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. Two commercial travelers, enroute from Columbus yester- day, were comparing notes. "How'd you find business in Columbus?" asked one. " — — bad," replied the irate knight of the grip. "I was there all day yesterday and only found two parties I could get a word out of. There is a fellow from there named Vance, a telegraph operator, who haa written a railroad play, 'The Limited MaU,' and made a fortune, and now every — man in town is either writing a play or training for it. No Columbus for mine.'' The woods are full of pretty girls, and the woods are full of sticks. To be both pretty and clever is another thing. One gets awfully tired of stage beauties when they are only useful as chair warmers or as stage ornaments. Beauty is all right in its place, but the young lady who depends on it solely in her career as an actress will go to the wall in a very short time. To succeed on the stage one must have brains and plenty of will-power to carry out plans designed, and must give every spare moment to hard study instead of wasting the time at late suppers after Ijje show. Papa Chappelle, he of the "Limited Mail," doesn't spend all of his salary on fashionable-cut clothing, and makes no claim for a rival of Berry Wall, but he's going to turn over a new leaf since his experience one day last week in Newark. Pap signified to the clerk of the- New Warden, that he was ready to retire, and he was shown to his room by a bright bell-boy, noted for his correct "sizing up of guests," and care- fully cautioned him against the danger of blowing out the gas, and thoroughly instructed him as to the turning off and ou of the poisonous vapor. Pap says he knows now why his good old mother named him W. "J." Chappelle. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. I43 "Did you bet on a white horse at the races?" asked the chorus girl of her papa, who buys her flowers, food and shoes. "No, darling. Why do you ask?" "Oh, simply because there is a long red hair on your coat collar." A. variety performer whom I have known for many years, writes me from far West Montana, that he is "acting as treasurer for a company, and that business is great. There is not a day but he plays to 'standing room only.'" He is con- ductor of a street car in Butte City. Although rather late in the day, Milt Gotthold informed me recently, "that, in connection with Jake Rosenthal and Dave Peyser, he would shortly engage an eminent lawyer and move for a new trial in the 'Shylock' case, on the ground that forcing 'Shylock' to turn Christian was unconstitutional." "How did you like the turkey?" asked the mistress of a New York theatrical boarding house. "It reminds me of the time I was in the minstrel busi- ness," said Billy Buckley, the negro comedian of the "Hustler" company. "How so?" "That was when I played the bones." Clara Morris is an inveterate indulger in stage guying. It is said that on the first night of "Miss Moulton'^ at the Union Square Theater, during her great death scene and im- mediately after she is supposed to expire, she looked out of the corner of her eyes and said to Mr. Stoddard: "I think we have got 'em sure." Stoddard was dumfounded. Miss Morris Djeftot that the new piece was undoubtedly a great success. 144 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. "Theee is a man from Philadelphia next to me and I would like to have him removed," said Lee' Harrison to the clerk of the Grand Hotel. "Why so?" asked the clerk. "Because there was a terrible smell of gas last night.'' Hebe is a story they are telling on Mark Murphy, who is now playing the Sheriff in "Later On." Although Mark is a young man, his hair is almost snow-white. A-^ singular fact about it is that it turned white in a single night. Some years ago he was receiving treatment at the sulphur baths at Mt. Clements, Mich., and a party of his friends held him up as highwaymen one night, after returning from a visit to his best girl, and they succeeded in impressing him with the belief that he was done for, with the aid of pistols and unearthly yells which would have frightened a Sioux Indian into con- vulsions. The next morning it was seen that his hair had lost its color. Statements have been going the rounds to the effect that Menken was our first "Mazeppa." It is a mistake. Bob Miles antedates her several seasons. While he was playing in Al- bany, N. Y., in 1860, Menken was in that city in hard luck, having made a failure at the variety theater, and out of an engagement, she went to Miles and asked him to let her play the first act of "Mazeppa" for his benefit, he playing the other acts. As she was confident she could make a go of it, Bob consented and gave her the part to study. The first night she fell off the horse going up the run, and very narrowly escaped a serious injury. On the second night she was so nervous that when she was being strapped on the horse she fainted dead away, and the scene was cut out. An English actor named Barrister, was the first to play the part in this country. / PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. I45 The Bernhardt will publish the story of her life. If she tells it all, will the Postmaster-General allow the book to go through the mails? Now that Fay Templeton is announced to wear sixty-four- buttoned kid leggins in her new play, what else does she wear, or is there nothing else? Am in receipt of a programme of a variety theater in LeadviUe, at which the performance commences at 9 p. M., and the last turn is on at 4:50 A. m. The boys stay out late in those parts. Performers must enjoy it. Lee Hakeison has a knock-about act with Marr in "The Hustler," and just before each rehearsal Harrison takes off his vest and places it in the bossom of his pants. He has written his friends to bury him in the Actors' Fund lot. Sam Harrison says "that upon his arrival at the Palace, San Francisco, a few weeks ago, a new arrival stepped up to the register, pen in hand, read the five names registered upon the page: Guggerheimer, Hocheimer, Schollzenburg, Strauss- meir, and Gassengein, and dropped the pen with the remark to clerk Gaffery: 'Give me the register; this is a wine list?'" They have amateur nights at the Museum, and Manager Avery offers a prize to the best amateur. One night, not long ago, a "ham" came on with his mouth full of milk, and, as he bowed to the audience before prancing in a song and dance, he squirted the lacteal fluid in the face of the leader, and ex- claimed: "Jxist dropped off the teat of the cow." The calf was rejected as quick as the milk by the frenzied stage manager. 146 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. If a blind man should write a farce -comedy, how would "Out of Sight" be for a title? If you notice closely this season you will find the villain in every play is almost constantly smoking cigarettes. A few seasons ago they smoked cigars. Wonder what has caused the change ? Fay Templeton, while in San Francisco recently, was wearing a very decollete dress in Miss McGinty; and stooping over too suddenly, caused a sensation. A friend writes me that Mrs. Brown-Potter and her asp were thrown in the cold shade by the immediate developments. I see Emma Abbott's ghost has returned and that she has been attending a number of spiritualistic seances throughout the country. Now why doesn't some enterprising manager se- cure the ghost of "Honest Little Emma" and give a series of ghost concerts? There's millions in it. A young friend of mine recently had his leg pulled for his gold watch and chain by a well-known soubrette actress, and very shortly after she received the present she gave him the shake. She wrote him a nice little note telling him that when he wanted to know the time of day to hunt a town clock. Some of the smart ones have it that the origin of the slang term "cull," as applied to a person, is from the name of the old Dutch settler. Kill von Kull. This is not so, as when Chris- topher Columbus discovered America, George W. June was his advance agent, and coming over the Jersey City Ferry, one day, he saw "Kill" fishing for frogs ofi" the dock^ and he called out: "Hello, Kull, have you had a bite?" PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 147 AccoKDiNG to the Music and Drama, they have aa ad- vance man in San Francisco whom they call "Flannels." He shrinks from water. DoBSON, of the advance of Cleveland's Minstrels, was at one time a partner of Punch Wheeler's in a show that could not play return dates. Th^ traveled on a barge and floated down the Mississippi. One of the snakes that Sara Bernhardt uses in her play of "Cleopatra" died the other day. The papers say that the cold spell killed it. My boy, that is a mistake. It died from the lack of nourishment. You haven't heard of any of Fanny Davenport's snakes dying, have you? A well-known actor who can not write very much is in love with a certain serio-comic. A friend in the same company answers all his letters for him. A few days ago he received one in which she told him "that she was compelled to lay off a week for rest ; that if she did not he would have to come all the way to Chicago to attend her funeral." He told his friend and secretary to make the reply strong, and tell her that "his love was so great he would go twice the distance to attend her funeral." A young man of this city has written a drama and asked me to read it. Here is a scene from the same:' "The Lord of the manor, a great and good man, has just died." One of his Irish servants makes the announcement as follows: "S'hure it is a sad thing to have death snatch away your best friend. Well, as there's nobody around, I'll just amuse myself with a bit of a song and dance." He danced off singing "I feel just as happy," and the curtain drops on that. This scene would draw tears from a soda fountain. 148 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. Dm it ever strike you that a show bill is a "mean, stuck- up thing?" "AcTOES, go to bed!" is a cry often heard in a one-night stand hotel when the merry Thespians sit up and talk over their past lives. "Where are you playing?" asked a friend of "True Irish Hearts" McCarthy, one day last week. "At Harris'" was the reply. "What, twice a day?" "No, every minute.'' J. M. Kemington, now looking after the interest of "Money Mad," made his first trip on the road with the Kedmond-Barry Company, and he says: "The most humorous failure of the sea- son was train robbers, in Texas holding up J_the train which the company was on. There wasn't money enough in the entire party to buy a postage stamp." He told the leader with the black mask "if they found a doUar in the crowd he'd join the gang." In the old days in this city, when the river business was the business of the town, there was a boat called the Floy Campbell, and she was very unfortunate. She had a dozen owners, and they all lost money trying to make her a success. She was. a veritable Jonah. One evening at the old National Theater, on Sycamore street, a play was being produced in which the heroine refused to marry the hero because he was rich. A little different from the girls of the present age. However, the aforesaid hero was very anxious to become poor, and in his agony, said : "My God, what can I do to get rid of my money? " An old river captain up in the second tier yelled out, "Buy the Flojr Campbell ! " He made ^n instantaneous bit. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 149 ) An "Uncle Tom" show lately appeared in one of the interior towns, and after the performance, the manager asked an old Cincinnati boy, John S. Morgan, who happened to be one of the audience, how he liked the show, John said: "Pretty good; but I don't like the fellow who plays Marks." "You ought to see him in the street parade," said his jags. "He's h — 1 on the cornet." A young lady of 16 who was stage-struck was very anxious to meet Aimee, when she first appeared in New York, and an intimate friend of the actress promised her an introduction. They called at the hotel and the gent sent up his card. Not knowing the gent had company Aimee sent word to come to her room, and such a room it was. It was early in the day and the help had not yet cleaned up, everything being in dire disorder, while the actress herself was looking pretty rocky from the effects of a big >wine supper the night before. On seeing the young girl, Aimee said in French, the gent being a French scholar: "Why did you not tell me you had company?" "This young girl, who does n«A speak French, was anxious to meet you, and wants to go on the stage. Do her friends a favor and get her out of the notion." ^ "AH right." She went to the sideboard, poured out a glass of whisky, and saying to the girl in broken English: "Take a drink whisk." The girl shrank back and said : '.'I never drink anything." "Don't yer?" said Aimee. "Den why de h — 1 you call on Aimee? Go away fast.'' The girl did, and her desire to go on the stage went with her. This story is straight goods, as the gent mentioned is a well-known Cincinnatian, and is fond of telling the incident. ISO PICKINGS FROM LOUBY CHATTER. How all the doings, and especially the faults and misfortune of theatrical people are brought into needless and exaggerated prominence. Chaelotte Cushman, the great actress, was once asked to contribute to the fund for the education of the heathen in Africa. She subscribed $5. Some one told her it was a small amauat for her to give, so she said: "Well, I'll give $500 more to pay for getting the 'five' over to Africa." George Baker is a great admirer of nature, and he was telling the Knockers' Club, in the office at Heuck's the other evening, , that the late cold spell showed how nicely nature divided up things. Said George: "In winter the poor people have plenty of ice, and in the summer the rich people have plenty." A piano tuner, well-known about town, is troubled at times with a cough and one of his customers, at aU calls, gives him a good dose of whisky to relieve him. When he called last week he had a bad attack of coughing, which caused the ser- vant girl to say: "It's no use coughing; there's no whisky in the house." His cough stopped. The manager of a certain queer show recently applied to Jake Tannenbaum, the well-known Southern manager, for a date at Mobile, which Jake refused. The queer show manager then waxed indignant and accused Tannenbaum of running down his company, and after a tirade of abuse remarked, "he made no apology for his show, as he was after the gtuif." Jake then sent him a collect message : "Letter received ; so was Eube Burrows." PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. I5I The cruel war has been over for some years, but the war- drama is with us still, and it will be alive and kicking when we are dead and buried. Mike Lacy, an old time actor and stage manager, is now Librarian at the Soldiers' Home, Dayton, O. Mike was a good soldier and a good actor. The five reddish Witmark Brothers, the six little J^cob Brothers, and the seven Sutherland Sisters, would make a great collection for a farce-comedy. When you see on a programme that a song is given by request, you can about make up your mind that it is at the request of the party who is to sing it. Theee is an actress in New York who has not had a position in two years, and in aU. that time has never passed a morning that she has not called at a certain dramatic agency and said: "Any news for me to-day?" Padeeewski can look at a sign reading "hair cutting done here" and never flinch. Bill McConnell says: "He eats canary birds to make his hair stand up that way. He is under contract not to comb it while he is in America." A young man with whiskers on the bottom of his pants, and of a seedy appearance generally, was telling a few com- rades in front of Hawle/s yesterday, that "he had been oifered $50 a week as a leading juvenile man for next season, but no manager could get him for less than $75, that he did not need money badly enough ;" and then he took one of the boys aside and touched him for a quarter. 152 PICKINGS I'ROM LOBBY CHATTER. A manager in the West announced that he will have the theater swept out and open his season shortly. AcTOES in New York who can not afford to go to the country for the summer, ask for passes for the Casino Koof Garden. John Kusseix tells of a man who keeps a railroad eating house out West. He has a sign up reading: "No credit given ; can't get any myself." George Powers, one of the end-men of Dockstader's Minstrels, tells of "having a friend who recently suffered from having a mouthful of splinters from kissing chips." In a big leg show the man most detested and feared by the girls is the stage manager, and the more deadly their hatred, the more sure you may be that he is a good man for the position. When the author and dramatic critic, Lew Kosen, was in- troduced to Jennie Yeamans, on Broadway one afternoon, as she winked the other eye, she said: "Oh, yes, you are the man who once wrote that I waddled like a goose and had legs like a piano stool. A friend sent me the paper with that notice in. Thafs all right now, though I'll forgive you. Shake." Whele in New York, I ran across a lady who has met with success on the concert stage, being an excellent vocalist. She thinks of trying comic opera, and said: "I am going to write to Wilbur for an engagement, but do not know what salary to ask him. How do you think $100 a week would strike him?" I told her I thought it would strike him dead. PICKINGS FROM I-OBBY CHATTER. 1 53 PuJSCH Whbelek is ahead of "A Runaway Wife." He said he would catch her if it took all summer. At a variety theater in Butte City a sign reads: "Beer on the floor, five cents." Do they have to sponge it up? An actor who visited Cincinnati recently, was asked if his wife was with him, and he replied: "No, an understudy." A divorced actor on being informed of the death of his wife said: "he was playing in luck as he wasn't stuck for the funeral expenses." "Always Togethek," the new eong which is making such a hit in New York, is not an applicable title in the life of an actor man and wife. The latest fad out with actresses is to get married and have a baby to carry around the country instead of a pug dog or a monkey. The husband is of course expected to look after the baby. It is time for the managers to announce that they will spend $100,000 in improvements on the theaters during the summer season, and then go out and buy a scrubbing brush and a cake of soap. The first performance at Robinson's circus, as the procession was inoving in the spectacle of "Solomon," Jack Robinson re- marked "that the thing was going off too slow.'' I told him that Egyptian soldiers were supposed to move slowly. "Before I have them on the road a week," said Jack, "I'll make them think they are in the battle of 'Bull Run.'" 1^4 PICKINGS 1'E.OM LOBBY CHATTER. We have a soubrette wlio -wears a bracelet ou her aukle. Now we want one who wears ear-rings in her nose. There are 159,974,000 watches in the world, and an actor friend of mine is trying to figure how many are in soak. The fad now is to be fat. A soubrette or comic opera singer who can not tip the beam at 175 pounds has no business to appear before the foot-lights. Russia has sent over to us a company named Prjlowklinlsky. Now what can we do to get even with Russia? Send some of our comic opera singers or a dozen or so of our soubrettes. A well-known soubrette, who is not married, says that "dogs are great company, especially when you are playing one-night stands and have to sleep in a lonely, cold bed in small towns." Rev. Dr. George C. Larimer, the famous Chicago Bap- tist orator, who has accepted a call to return to his old pulpit in Tremont Temple, Boston, was formerly an actor. While playing in Louisville several years ago he and a fellow Thes- pian, while out sky-larking one evening, dropped in upon a revival meeting, and both were converted and became great preachers. A young lady in front of me at the Grand, the other evening, said to her female companion: "So that is Bob Hilliaxd, so much talked about in the New York papers as a heart killer. I don't think he is any great shakes, you can have him, Liz, I'll stick to John awhile longer, even if he is my husband." Now, Robert, are you not sorry you shaved oif your mustache? PICKINGS I'ROM I.OliliY CMATTER. tSJ An actor who understands his businesB never plays to the stage boxes. I fondly hope that next season will give us more acting and less horse play. AiXi of the old timers remember the clever comedy, "Our Boarding House," and wonder it is not played any more. My dear boys, the actors play it every summer. Lee Hareison, the comedian and understudy for "King Sol- omon," spent part of the summer at the Mafia Hotel, Chicago. He ate so much spaghetti he doesn't know whether he is an Indian or a speak-easy. Theee is plenty of talk about the saw-mill scene in "Blue Jeans" and other plays as to who used it originally. I saw it used in a play called "I. O. IT.," by J. Holmes Grover, at the old National Theater on Sycamore street, about 18 years ago. AccoHDiNQ to a New York exchange there are over 1,000 actors looking for employment in that city, and the majority of them are willing to work for their board through the sum- mer months, and every city in the Union is full of unem- ployed actors, not mere hams and sticks, but good, capable actors, who in times past have filled important roles with credit. The fact of it is, the business is being overdone and besides the amateur is driving the professional to the wall. In days past, when an actor was supposed to have been fully educated up to his business, the amateur stood very little show. But nowadays, a divorce suit or bit of scandal brings the amateur to the front and the professional is not in it. A pretty face, a good figure and a touch of scandal or notoriety go far more than years of study. IS6 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. Some actors ■when they have to make a "wry" face drink bourbon. An actor told me last week that there are 2,700 ties in a mile of railroad. He counted them on a little stroll from Dayton here last season. Jolly John Hopkins says the best thing he saw during his foreign trip was Sandy Hook on his way home. Hop. tipped everybody, but the Prince of Wales. There is a man in Minnesota who has been slumbering for over a dozen years without a break. As yet none of our managers have offered him a position as advance agent. We now have Day, Noon and Knight in the business. John R. Noon is in San Antonio, Texas, Ben K. Knight is with W. S. Cleveland, and Chas. H. Day is in San Francisco. If there is anything more disgusting than the average female impersonator I fail to see it. They should be stricken from the list. The profession has enough to answer for without those barnacles. Some actresses have remarkable memories and can commit to memory parts of hundreds of words by only reading them over a few times, but after they are 30, they can't remember their own age. "Comrades" was first sung by a London concert hall singer by the name of Tom Costello. Fred Hallen, while in that city, found an advance copy and sailed home with it at once. He gave it to John E. McWade of the ' 'Later On" Company, and it was MeWade who first sang it in this country. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 1 57 Isn't it funny that hot weather will knock managers cold. New England is called the meal ticket circuit, as the jumps are small. "Aai^EP OH Awake" is the latest farce-comedy. The com- pany will try both during the season. A soubrette likes to have you tell her she is full of chic, but she would rather you would fill her with chicken. I know a leading man in New York who threw up a good engagement for next season, for the reason that the lady en- gaged to play the opposite parts is noted for having a breath strong enough to stop a street car. Some one told Johnny Kearney last week, that one of the wealthy men of New York had money enough to give every man, woman and child in the United States $2. ^ohn got his address and will call for his $2. A new and inexperienced agent sat with railroad guide in hand, Much perplexed to find a single one-night stand. When softly entered an old and well-known agent. Who said: "The likes of you are fixed and I have no engagement." Some ' of the variety people who have made a reputation, imagine they need not look for anything new and give us the same old stuff every season. Now, boys, while you are resting new people are coming to the front with new features, and they will soon crowd you into the back row if you do not wake up and bustle. Managers do not want "has beens," 158 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. They have a prima-donna in ' Frisco who is a great singer, but her character is not of the best. All her purity appears to be in her voice. When the news of Emmet's death reached the Rialto, a well-known road manager said: "Poor fellow, I'm very sorry, I must try to get some of his 'time.'" In a new play now preparing for the road one scene is a dissecting room. None of the actors have as yet been en- gaged to play the corpse, although many are dead broke. Tecere is a sign on a Broadway candy store reading: "Fresh every day;" but nothing to show what it refers to. As the place is well patronized by the soubrettes, it may possibly refer to them. Manager John Eussell tells me that on his arrival in Paris, "he wei^t into a restaurant and tried his French, ordering a fried chicken, and the waiter brought him a watermelon." John is now convinced his French is a little off. A manager of a country opera house wired Klaw & Er- langer, New York: "Can you book Edwin Booth with me one night next season?" He was answered that the great tragedian would not be on the road. "All right, how about Zo-Zo?" While in the Coleman House yesterday, I noticed a very dudish looking individual pass through the office. He was a very pronounced type of the Hebrew race. I asked Milt Gott- hold what line of business he thought that fellow played? Milt replied: "Jewveniles," PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. Jjg Good actors, are in demand. Bad ones never work. , An actor should be full of spirits, but not have them all under the belt. I passed a one-legged man on Broadway who, I am told, had his leg puUed off by soubrettes. Sam Haerison went over to Europe to look for attractions for John Russell, and all he brought back with him was a cake of soap. Did you ever notice that when business is bad they blame it on the agent, and when it is good it is the attraction that draws? The advance man is not in it. When Jack Haverly was in Pittsburgh, recently, he met the manager of the Grrand Opera House, who asked him" what line of business he was in. "The mining business," said Jack. "I thought you were not a show man, as I know aU of them," said the manager. Manager Will Cleveland once told me that he had ballet singers who would kick about rehearsals as it hurt their voices, but they would go into saloons after the show, fill up with beer, and sing for hours to entertain the boys who were witling to set 'em up. A well-known soubrette met Lew Eoseu, the dramatic critic and author the other day, eind told him she was aU tired out hunting a place to board. "Should not think you would have much trouble about that," said Lew. "Yes, I have. , You see I want a place where all the people in the house are respectable but myself." l6o PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. In one of the Western towns the manager of the opera house was asked what he furnished for his percentage? He said, ''the key of the theater." English actors are not finding the American stage such a picnic ground as they used to. Our theater-goers are begin- ning to realize the fact that we have plenty of good actors of our own. ~~ » A young man connected with one of our theaters whose salary is not a great one, took an actress to supper at the St. Nicholas after the show the other evening. As she looked over the bill of fare he thought of what his bill might be, and his heart palpitated so loud that the waiter rushed up and asked "if he had rapped on the table for anything.'' When Harry Schwab was here as the press agent for Harris, who was then running the Museum, it was conceded that he wrote the toughest hand of any that ever showed up in a newspaper office. In fact, many of the printers refused to handle it as they couldn't make enough setting up his manu- script to buy their sandwiches for lunch. Harry is now press agent for a Pittsburg theater, and whUe on the street one day with Sam Dawson, he met Manager Dave Henderson who gave him several points which Harry wanted to remember. To make sure he would not forget them, he wrote them out, put them in an envelope and mailed them to himself to the theater. When opening his mail next day he found the letter and was heard to remark: "Well, here is a letter from some d— d fool who hasn't signed his name and I can't make out a word of it." "Why, that's the letter you wrote to yourself, yesterday," said Dawson, who was present. "Say nothing," said Schwab. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. l6l An agent writes me that he will have a "reigning" success next season, but at the same time he will want clear weathes. An advance agent very well known in this city, was caught telling the truth in New York the other day and made to apologize. Well, this is the time of the year when treasurers take their annual benefits and loan the managers enough money to live on during the summer. An actor named Drum was badly beaten by a lot of toughs in one of the Western towns lately. He has no redress, as there is no law against beating a drum. A man died recently in San Francisco, and was buried in a rough pine box. A few years ago he was a constant attend- ant at the theaters, and always bought a private box. The managers should have given him one to be buried in. A young man writes me from Jamestown, O., to know what he will have to do to go on the stage. He says "he is a farm-hand receiving $17 per month, and would it be advis- able to give up his place." No, sir, you have a summer job, and that is what most of the actors are looking for about now. Realistic dramas being in vogue, it is currently reported that the educated pig will next season star in a play of foreign adaption by George Rhodins, a Hoosier author. Several horses of more than ordinary ability will be in the cast, while a real express train will perform its specialty in the second act. A novelty is promised in the appearance of a real man and wo- man in the third act of the play who will speak a few lines. l62 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. A kicking soubrette who recently appeared at a benefit in SCow York, was billed as follows: "Sadie Ray, in her own way." There is no truth in the report that Andy McKay recently left a show because they wanted him to carry a cash register. Aftee years of failure as an actor or actress, the proper thing to do is to prepare pupils for the stage. This is now a "great gag." One of our managers in giving a pass for two, last week, made it read "Pass two vegetables.'' The doorkeeper "was on" that it meant beats, and let it go. "The Hotel de Bloomingdale" is one of the few hotels that does hot give theatrical rates. Wheels and merry-go-rounds are the principal features of that hostelry. Ike English is going to join a circus. Some of the boys asked him what position he was to occupy- with the show, and he said "he was to sponge the perspiration off the fat women in the side show." Why is it that the female stage villain is always a brunette? Is it because the blondes are naturally so good that they don't take to such roles, or is it because they are not capable of playing such trying parts? When a man passes the fifty mile post in his voyage through life it is time to quit calling himself "Billy," as some of our performers persist in doing. If they don't want the William, what is the matter with "Bill?" Are you with me Mr. Bill Emerson & Co.? PICKINGS FROM LPBBY CHATTER. 163 A member of the " Paresis Club," which is composed of a great many profassionals, was fined $5 at the last meeting for talking sense. Punch Wheeler is now the proud owner of a corner lot in Florida. He purchased it with two lithograph passes. It is eighteen feet under water. An old, broken-down actor, used up by drink, said to me last week: "If I don't catch on to something pretty soon, I know what I'll do, I'll open a dramatic school." Some managers seem to think they can run a theater as they would a dry goods store, but you can't and make it a success. The question of art enters into it to a great extent. In one of the Texas towns the agent ahead of the show had drawn $30 from the opera house manager. As the company's share of the receipts only reached $32, they wired him to come back and get the other $2. A jaggy individual, wearing a check suit on which the checks rattled, called at the box office of the Grand yes^rday and asked Lew Wiswell if he could change a five. "I can," said Lew. "All right," said his jags, "I'll go out and see if I can borrow one." John T. Kelly, the well-known Irish comedian, stepped into a German saloon on Avenue A the other night and tasted a piece of Limburger cheese for the first time in his life. He asked the barkeeper what it was. "Limburger" said the barkeeper. "I know it is," said John, "but what's on it?" 164 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. A show traveling through Texas is giving away a barrel of pigs' feet at the door every evening. It is said that no one has really graduated as a manager until he has handled an opera company. An agent just from the South tells me business was not good, although the only opposition he had was Hood's Sarsaparilla. A manager who takes out a new show next season tells me he will have a pawnbroker travel with the show, so as to have every thing handy. Heaed last week of an agent who was found two weeks behind the show. His excuse was that he wanted to see how the people liked the performance. One of the Western cross-road managers has cut salary day out of the almanac, and when his company say they need any thing, he tells them "to put up their umbrellas.'' When George Welty, the manage for John F. Kelly, asked Jake Rosenthal "if New Orleans was any good on Washington's Birthday." Jake preplied: "No, but it was great on Henry Greenwall's birthday." They have a cipher now to indicate salaries, John Kelly asked Jake Eiosenthal yesterday about a soubrette's salary, and Jake said "about Brooklyn," Kelly said "he would give her only Syracuse," and Jake said "Albany wouldn't catch her." This was Greek to me until I found the key to the cipher: Brooklyn $100 a week, Albany $60 and Syracuse $40. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 165 New York is full of Farmer Alliance managers from Blue Earth and Platzville. The landlady of a theatrical boarding house always uses cups and saucers on settling days, on which are the mottoes "Eemember Me" and "Forget Me Not." ' A large, shabbily dressed woman parades the Rialto nearly every day, winter and summer. No one seems to pay any at- tention to her, and only a few years ago she was the reigning queen of the stage as the leading lady of a great stock com- pany. You ask, what is the trouble? Why, she crooks her elbow too much. Gus Heege, the dialect comedian, who plays the title role in "Yon Yonson," tells a good story about two sons of Sweden, who were engaged in painting a building. They had mounted the scaffolding and had been at work some time when Peter- sen arose to adjust one of the guy ropes, as they seemed to let the scaffold sag on his end, but in doing so his foot slipped, and he fell some fifty feet into a mass of debris composed mostly of sheet-iron, shavings and light building material. The crash could have been heard for miles, but the pliability of the material probably saved the unfortunate son of Scandinavia from instant death. Yonson, his partner, out of fear of losing his job kept right on with his work until called down by an angry crowd that had gathered around the wounded man. A doctor being summoned, it was found that Petersen was covered with bruises, both arms were broken, one hip was fractured, and a leg was dislocated at the knee. After several hours he began to regain consciousness, and his first words after recog- nizing his chum were: "Yon, yo tank dae boas is mad baecouse ay quivit vork?" l66 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. "He'll Do Well 'if He Does Good," is the latest farce- comedy. I heard, while in New York, of a variety actress who is now living with her eighth husband, the others being alive. There is some talk of calling the old boys together this sum- mer for a reunion. A few weeks ago, when the Christian Endeavors were meeting in New York, a well-known comedian was asked what all of those people were wearing the C. E. for. He answered : "It was the annual parade of the Cincinnati Enquirer." DuEiNG his trip East, Manager Avery secured for his museum one of the greatest curiosities of this or any other age. It is a woman who has been married twenty years and has never gone through her husband's pockets while he slept. DeWolf Hopper is said to be the boss stage kisser. The chorus girls say that he is a very ardent kisser and can make more fun out of a kiss than any other man on the stage. One of his chorus girls says "it is worth the price of admis- sion to see Hopper pucker his lips." But I doubt it She may be a little prejudiced. Jake Rudolf, (the only barber,) was called to New York by a bogus telegram to secure the job of cutting Paderewski's hair. He took with him a mattress- maker and a barrel of shampoo. He has returned a little disappointed about Paddy, but he had a chance to "shave a note" to get money to return on. "While in New York, he went to Caetle Garden to try and find a pair of wooden shoes he left there when he first came to this country. They are not where he left them and Jake is afraid they are lost. PICKINGS FROM tOUBY CMATTER. 167 You all remember the popular song, "Mary Kelly's Beau." Daniel Bandmann has just married a Mary Kelly, so Dan was the man. Theee is one woman in this city who has done more to cleanse the stage than any one else I know of, and she has never had a notice. She scrubs the stage at the Grand. A soubrette, looking at Edwin Booth's photograph in front of a Broadway gallery, remarked to her friend, "I wish I was like Ned; he never has to wonder if he will gqt his salary if he joins 'Duffy's Glass Eye Co.'" A well-known manager in New York had an actress who was in love with and claimed him as her own. A prominent star actress also fell in love with the same gentleman and wanted him, so she bought off the former. Now she is tired of her investment and can't sell or give him away. And there you are. A certain manager in New York engaged a certain sou- brette. It took two days to sign the lady as she wanted fares both ways. At last a compromise was made by the manager promising to pay fares to the opening. After the contract was signed the soubrette asked: "Where do we open." She fainted when he told her "in Hoboken." The fare being two cents. I went with some of the boys to a Chinese restaurant down on Mott street, in New York, one day last week. The waiter was barefooted, and as he was bringing in a bowl of rice he put it down on the floor, roUed up his pants and gave his leg a good scratching. Then he picked up the bowl, with his thumb in the rice, and brought it to us. I never did like rice, anyway. l68 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. Ip a man were to marry Millie Christine, the double-headed woman, at the museum, would he be committing bigamy? Some folks wonder how the ushers at the theaters always look so stylish. Nothing strange about that; if you got the salary they get you would be able to dress stylish too. If an actor accepts fifty dollars a week it is with the pro- viso that he must be quoted at double that amount. Why is this thus? The public does not care what salary he receives. All he is expfected to do is to act the best he knows how. The death of Pat Eooney recalls to my mind a little talk had on Union Square about ten years ago, Pat was telling the boys that he contemplated a starring tour of Australia. "There's nothing over there but kangaroos," said John Russell. "Well," said Pat, "Their money is as good as anybodys." Charles Incog Dickson was promenading the Rialto when he met a popular actress of his acquaintance who looked the picture of health, but stated that she was quite ill, and had been advised by her physician to take mud baths, but she could not afford to stop acting. "Not necessary," asserted Dickson, "Come out as a star and you will get all the mud you want." Bob Gkaham began his career in Cincinnati as a comedian. He carried a epear at the old Wood's Theater and got his lit- tle envelope every week from John Havlin, who was then business manager. M. B. Curtis and John Mackey were in the same company. Maggie Mitchell was the first to tell Bob he was a comedian, and gave him the opportunity in "The Pearl of Savoy." PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 169 They do say Joliet was named after the jolliers in the business. "Dast-Lize" is the name of a new play. Just as though a play ■could be anything else. Now that they have female press agents wonder if they won't soon have female leading men? "I be the second cousin of the Town Marshal. I reckon you'll pass me." Is a speech frequently heard in one night stands. DuEiNG the Philadelphia Centennial in 1876, the late Pat Kooney was asked by a friend why he did not go to the City of Brotherly Love and see the sights. "Och, I'll wait for the next Centennial," was Pat's reply. Did you ever notice that it takes a matinee audience just twice as long as a night crowd of the same size to empty a theater ? The ladies generally stop at the front of the theater and block the entrance. "A girl doesn't feel like doing any more flirting after see- ing that play, does she Maggie?" said a young girl to her friend as the audience was passing out of Havlin's after "The Two Sisters" matinee last Wednesday afternoon. "Y"ou bet your life she doesn't; ifs cured me. Did you notice that young fellow who sat next to us wink at me just before the show was over? Let's wait up at the corner and see if he will try to flirt with us." "No I won't, Maggie, it isn't right and besides one fellow is not enough for both of us." 170 ^ PICKINGS t-ROM i.oSBV CMATTfeJl. It seems as if the average actress only marries for the sake or" the sensation of getting a divorce. Los Angeles, Cal., is now called by the show people Lost Angels, as the most of them have made a losing there this season. A landlord in Wheeling is willing to give rates to theatri- cal companies, provided they do not contain any dogs, colored people or women. ^ When Wallick, the Bandit King actor, wants a new play he turns one of his horses around, changes the name of one of his old plays, and there you are. Why do people who chin all through the ' evening go to the theater? They should stay at home and do their talking and give people who go to the theater a chance to hear the actors talk. ON THE WALL. As to the three-sheet posters, Her comely form I view ; If I should judge her years I'd say, She must be twenty-two. ON THE BOARDS. But when I turn my glasses to This beauty on the stage; I estimate that thirty-five ' Comes nearer to her age. ON THE STREET. I meet her on the promenade, Her hair is turning gray; Then do I realize the truth, She's fifty, if a day. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 17I "Touchville" is the name of a new actors' resort in Hoboken. They have a woman in Texas 110 years old. She should start in playing soubrette. Don't believe every maa who tells you he's an actor, good many of them only think they are. Why all this controversy about female virtue on the stage? It all depends on the woman on the stage or off. Punch Wheeler writes me as follows: "I struck a funny snap yesterday. At Fort Branch the theater is wide open all the time. A traveling fakir came along the other day and went in and opened up the hall, had all the lamps lighted and was proceeding with the show, when the manager, who happened to come out after supper saw something was going on and went up to the place. The magician was hard at work pleasing a three-dollar audience when the manager asked him, 'how's business?' 'Oh, pretty fair,' said the fakir, ' I guess I'll stay several nights.' 'Don't you think it would be a wise play to make some arrangements for the theater?' said the manager. 'Oh, certainly,' said the artist. 'I got in late last night and didn't have any time to see you. My agent, Andy McKay, got behind the show in Canada and has not caught up yet.' Andy told me that he had written the manager for a date, and he replied 'that he had the petrified woman for a run about that time,' and told him to come later. He thought the 'Petrified Lady' was one of Charles Frohman's new p^ys." 172 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. Jake Rosenthal has been known to make ten contracts, "stand off" a hackman, pack ten bill trunks and bill a town in twenty minutes. An actor friend of mine wbo prides himself on his good looks has just learned that a lady friend has named a pet calf after him, and he's sore. Paderewski is said to devour a fine Steinway piano at every meal. He is now suffering from dyspepsia, having eaten another make of piano by mistake. James Owen O'Connoe recently returned from a short starring tour and entered a restaurant in New York near the depot for his breakfast. "WiU you have eggs?" said the waiter. O'Connor shuddered. Punch Wheeuek says "he knows an agent who commenced in the business by leading a blind man and later was advance man for a performing bear. He would go a block ahead and clear the room for the next performance." The boys all know how long it takes Mique O'Brien to tell a story, and when he starts in on one there is usually a great scattering. A story that would take most men about two min- utes to tell takes Mique about two hours. While Charley Hoyt, the well-known author, was on his last visit to this city Mique tackled him one day at the Grand Hotel with one of his old- timers. Charley is a very nervous man and after listening to Mique for about fifteen minutes and the end of the" story being no where in sight, Hoyt said: "Mique let's take a drink and you can finish this story wlien I come back next season." Mique looked sad but consented to a cock-tail. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 1 73 We have some clever pianists in Cincinnati but they can never be great. They all comb their hair. A manager named Shears cut up a thousand-dollar bill by mistake the other night, while his company was playing in Turkey Roost. A manager telis of a show at Hot Springs where the agent gave away so many passes that they had to play two nights to get them all in, A certain well-known manager on hearing that silver was falling in WaU street, rushed down to get some of it. He came home with a souvenir spoon. The serio-comics we have now seem to think all they have to do to be a success is to try and impress the audience with their toughness, and the audience is usually impressed. Some ' of the old-timers start out on a tour and wonder why they fail to draw as in days gone by. The old favorites of the past never seem to realize the fact that the public is very fickle and always after new idols to worship. The favorites of yester- day are forgotten and the pets of to-day will not be remem- bered to-morrow. A German who had heard Kate Castleton sing, once upon a time, "For Goodness Sake Don't Say I Told You," went to the box office of a theater where the luxurious Kate was play- ing recently and inquired: "Does dot Kadie sing 'For Heaf- fen's Sake Don't Tell Anypody Dot I Have Said Anyting about it Yet Nod ?' " When assured that Miss Castleton was still warbling the old song, the pleased Teuton bought a front seat. 174 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. Some alleged actors labor under the impression ttat the Actors' Fund is in existence simply to keep them alive. The dramatic critic who a few days since wrote that "Mag- gie Mitchell had a bright future before her," must be a humorist. An usher who would walk around a theater without making any noise would draw a large salary at a dime museum as a curiosity. Frank Bush loves to tell stories. He revels in them. His manager says "when Bush can't find any one to shoot a story into he tells them to himself." When Millie Christine, the double-headed girl, left here for the East her manager only bought one ticket for her as usual. John Avery tells me that "the conductor said there must be two tickets or he would have to put one of them off of the train." "Rollicking, JoUy and Ginger," is the way a certain sou- brette advertises herself. "Cute, Cunning and Curly," is the line another uses. "Full of Prunes" would be a suggestive title for either. They have nerve enough. There is an old fowling piece in the property room of the Grand Opera House which Nick, the property man, claims was used by Sarah Bernhardt as a dressing room during her last engagement here. I can scarcely believe this. It is "our sisters, our cousins and our aunts" who make or mar the success of the majority of theatrical ventures. Let the critics rave and argue aa they will. Criticism never warps a woman's mind when it is once made up. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 175 Some actors claim that they do not care what the papers say of their acting. But give them a little prod and they are the first to squeal. A serio-comic, weighing 200 pounds, sang "Papa "Wouldn't Buy Me a Bow-wow," in a Texas variety theater recently, and was presented with a string of sausages. Young Ellslee, who is in advance of his sister's show, was on the stage once only, and he was a howling success. It was when he was a year old, twenty-seven years ago, and Clara Morris was in the cast, "Uncle Tom" was the play. Miss Morris the Eliza and young Ellsler the baby. In the scene where Eliza, with her husband and baby, make their escape from the slave hunters the baby was so scared at the shouting that his "howl" was heard above all the din. WiixxE Gaeen, the fair youth with the sunny eyebrows, who is ahead of "My Jack," is getting up an expense account for the benefit of the advance agents. Here is a sketch of it: Sleeper, Cincinnati to Covington, $3. Three pitchers of ice water in one morning, 65c. Looking at a bad show that we followed in a one-night stand, $4.25 Boozing with local newspaper men and local managers, get- ting a big head and losing a day's work in consequence, $5. Three extra meals at Oshkosh, to make for up three missed at Sheboygan, $2.50 Doctor's bill for damages to me as a result of telling a man- ager at Minneapolis that his city was a jay town compared with St. Paul, $10. Buying the drinks for a rival star who said my star was a good actor, 75c. 176 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. An actor recently playing the villain in a border drama at one of our theaters was so bad that the calcium light hissed. Jake Rosenthal says "the Ponce de Leon Hotel in Roan- oke is a beauty bright. They ring the bell for meals, and be- fore the guests have time to enter the dining room the door is closed and the meal is over." He suggested to the proprietor to change the name to "Bounce de Leon." When a crowd of theatrical men were together in a South- ern hotel, recently, one of them remarked to the manager of a well-known concert company that he was a nice fellow, but his feet were not mates. "That's no joke," said the impres- sario, and he pulled up his trowsers and displayed a wooden leg. Miss Sadie Connolly, the acrobatic colleen who gyrates through an open window head foremost in "Yon Yonson," thought to bring her act up-to-date and donned a crinoline skirt at Pittsburgh, recently, apparently forgetting her own and the dimensions of the window, for one weighs nearly two- hundred pounds and the window is scarce two feet in width. Imagine the consternation she felt and the hilarity of the au- dience when the graceful Sadie stuck fast and only succeeded in extricating herself by leaving the skirt behind. Undaunted, however, the quick-witted comedienne snatched up a cloth ban- ner and enveloped in this friendly covering finished the act. The audience was fairly convulsed, and Miss Connolly thought that the accident went so well that she would repeat it at each ' performance in the future. Judge if you can of her conster- nation when upon examining the banner at the fall of the cur- tain these words, in big lurid letters, met her eyes: "Matinee inside, doors open at 2 p. m." PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 1 77 Richard Mansfield has the advantage over his fellow . actors, as he is able to swear fluently in ten different languages. At Palmer's Theatre, New York, if you get a pass you must drop ten. cents in a box for the Actors' Fund. If Cin- cinnati managers should try that, one of them says "they would have to furnish the dime with the pass.'' Joe Jackson, the property man of "A Society Fad Com- pany," is quite a poet. Here is one of his latest: The dramatic profession a labyrinth of care. With worries and troubles perplexed, The property man who is with us this year. May be our manager next. It is said that Horace Cone, who plays "Conrad," the atro- cious villain in Chase & Benton's play of " Uncle Darling in Alaska," sheds the gore of the innumerable victims in such profusion that he is compelled to carry an umbreUa, wear a mackintosh' and overshoes, carry a sponge and soap in every pocket, and still you can hear the blood swash around in his boots as he walks across the stage. The following bill of fare was provided recently at a ban- quet tendered to Gus Williams, the popular German comedian, by the Bradford Avenue Theatre Club, Williamsburg, on Washington's Birthday: "Sauerkraut, Frankfurters, pig's heads, pig's knuckles, head cheese, smoked wurst, blood wurst, potato salad, Swiss cheese, Limburger cheese, pot cheese, schnittlauch, Dutch bread and German beer." After the guests had fully discussed the nicely cooked viands, the police patrol was called in and they were safely conducted to the ferry boat. 178 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. Ladies' hats with low crowns are worn extensively in the summer. This is because the theaters are closed. The woman with the iron jaw has a husband, but he has nothing to say. He doesn't want any of that jaw. What has become of the good serio-comics ? They appear to be pretty scarce. You run across alleged ones, but the good ones like in the old-time variety days are few. Guess farce- comedy catches them. When Mrs. Flannagan was asked how she furnished her flat so magnificently, she said her Maggie was now a soubrette in the "Black Crook Company" and was soon to marry a rich binder at Clara Morris Park. Salvini, the elder, the great Italian actor, gives this whole- some advice: "Don't play poker if you want to be anything of aa actor. Save your money to buy good clothes." Alex must have opened the wrong jack pot. Billy Cleveland, of the minstrels, is a man from Ohio and proud of it, but he says it is surprising the number of men he meets that knew him as a boy, and went to school with him. He relates that way out on the Pacific Coast he came across an old chap who must have been 91, if a day; a little dried up old fellow, as chirper and as spry as he could be, but so very ancient he looked like a mummy, and he was from Ohio, too. "BiUy,"' said the antique, "you ain't changed a bit since we went to school together." William Schuyler gave grandpa a seat in a private box. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER, 179 Theee is a certain well-known manager whose wife is his leading lady and also his manager. Now why is he billed as manager ? An actor, who was stranded out in the far West and while on his tramp fell into several show drifts, says he didn't mind the snow. He was an Elk. While George June, business manager for Gus Williams, was in Milwaukee, one evening on his way to the hotel he ran across a young dude with a pistol to his head about to commit suicide. "Wait a minute," said June, "before you shoot leave a note stating that you killed yourself for love of one of the girls in our company. It will be a good ad." He waited and changed his mind. Chakley Koenig, of the B. & O. Kailroad and Jim Fennessy had quite an argument last week as to how wild animals were caught, and they concluded to let George Baker, of Heuck's decide it, and this is what George says about the matter: "The Desert of Sahara is composed of lions and sand, sift the sand carefully through a sieve and the lions will remain in the sieved then you have got them." The man who crowds gast a dozen people between acts, and who on his return smells like a distillery, too tough to be in the trust, is an annoyance, and if possible more so than the high hat. Borne time since at one of the theaters two rather fleshy ladies in the end seats had to walk out in the aisle to let a man out at each fall of the curtain. On his return after his fourth trip one of the ladies said: "The next time you come to the theater bring a keg with you." He said nothing but he kept his seat until the play was Over, l8o PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. The Bialto is full of Susan Brettes with spotless reputation. When they laid the corner-stone of the new Walnut Street Theater last week, a ten doUar bill was placed under the stone. That will be safe enough, but if it had been a "pass for two" some of the dead-heads would have rolled the stone off and ciptured the passes before twenty-four hours. Lbje Haeeison is very mad just now. Charley Weigand told him if he would raise a beard he would look like Oscar Hammerstein. Lee denies the report that he is loosing his eight looking for good business. He wears glasses because Charlie Eoss told him he looked like the Prince of Wales with- out them. Tim Murphy says he worked for a manager ten years ago who used to get so mad at himself that he would wear a fourteen collar on a seventeen shirt. "Before I joined the company," said Murphy, "a man who had just left it came to me and said : Mr. Murphy don't you go with that man, he will beat you out of your money." Murphy approached the manager and had an understanding that he was to get his salary every Saturday night. He worked ten weeks and then gave the manager twenty minutes notice. "I refuse to accept your resig- nation," said the manager. "Look here, Mr. Murphy, I have not broken my faith with you, I told you I would give you your salary every Saturday night and you have got it." "Yes, you certainly did give it to me every Saturday night," replied Murphy, "but just as soon as Tuesday came around you bor- rowed it of me again to pay some one else. It has taken me ten weeks to drop on myself, and I guess you had better get another actor, who will only want his salary the second Monday of every week." PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. l8l There is a hotel in Knoxville that boards actors free. Some of them have been there two years. During the recent cold weather in Pittsburgh, Alvin Joslin Davis had his ushers attired in sealskin coats, with fur on the inside and outside. On Broadway the actors doSiot use the expression "swelled- head" any more. Nowadays they say "he scratches his head two feet away from its natural position." I overheard this remark on Broadway the other day: "Con- gratulate me old man, I had my silver wedding Sunday. Just think, Walter, I have been tnarried twenty-five years to the one wife." "That's nothing," said Walter, "I can beat you, I have been married twice to my present wife." A well-known manager asked the bill-poster of a certain Southern town what had became of the treasurer of the theater? who "was an old employe. "He was color blind, and the governor let him go," replied the bill-poster. "How was that?" asked the manager. "Well, he could not tell his money from the money that belonged to the theater." A bowery song and dance man sent his wife out the other day to rush the growler. On her way back a gang standing on the corner caught sight of the pitcher and all made a rush for it. One of the gang accidentally punched her in the face. The song and dance man seeing his wife being whipped opened the window and shouted out at the top of his voice: "For heaven's sake, boys, don't punch my meal ticket." l82 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. Why do gkinuy woineii persist in wearing low neck and short sleeve dresses on the stage? Take a man with a very bald head and he will tell you that he fails to see anything shocking about a ballet. Critics can pick a poor ^lay to pieces and ought to be able to avoid the faults and write a better play. But they can't do it. Very few dramatic critics have ever written a successful play, some of them can give old Bill Shakespeare pointers, but when they try to write a play themselves, they make a fail- ure of it. Why is it? "Coming down from Akron, I found a good place for impe- cunious Thespians," said Manager Bemington. "Where was that, my gay journalist leg puller?" "Hocking Valley." There was a deathly silence in the office, and you could have heard an egg drop. Remington got out of the door just in time to dodge a Webster's Unabridged and a City Directory. At one of our theaters last week the wife of one of the performers sat behind a gentleman and his wife in the audi- ence when the company began to sing "Ta-Ra-Ea, " the man exclaimed in horror: "Why that is scandalous.'' "What is scandalous?" asked his wife. "Why they are actually singing that 'Ta-ra-ra Boom-de-ay.'" "What is that?" said she. "It's a song that is never heard outside of disreputable places," he replied. "How do you know?" And there was trouble for that man. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 183 Knoxville, Tenn., is a good place for the Knockerg in the profcBsion. The production of "Ala Baba" recalls the old story of the first production in old times of " The Forty Thieves." The business was large and the price of admission had been raised. A man who had been in the habit of paying $1 for a seat was told by the ticket seller that it would cost him $2, which caused him to remark : "I suppose the other thirty-nine are on the stage.'' Gus Heeqe, the Swedish dialect comedian, has resolved never again to assist a seeker for alms. Heege declares that there is some field of labor for everybody, which fact was brought forcibly to his mind recently when a one-armed man whom he had befriended showed ability in the line of humor which would command a handsome salary in any newspaper office. Heege expressed pity for the fellow, and ventured to ask how he had lost his arm. "I aint lost it," quietly re|)lied the wretch, "I know where it is, but I don't want it." Some of the alleged superstitions of managers and advance agents are : ' ' Never permit a dead-head to enter the house first. The yellow clarionet beware of. Never drop an awning in front of a theater without supports. Never refuse the bag- gage man of a railroad passes if he owns a yellow dog and is cross-eyed. Never rock an unoccupied rocking-chair. Never get on a car with your left foot first. Never in counting up pick up a yellow ticket first. Never let any member of your com- pany look through the peep hole of the curtain. Never in mak- ing a railroad jump make connections at 3:37 a. m. Never put on the right shoe first in a new town. Never wire for money with thirteen words. Never use your left foot in getting into a berth in a sleeper. Never chase a black cat." 184 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. They call a theatrical sucker an angel. This is because his money flies away. I met an actor last week who told me he was so hard up he couldn't raise an umbrella. The actresses don't want hoops in fashion again. Some of the actors would like them for their heads at times. An Iowa manager sent a Chicago scenic artist an order for ten yards of woods, and you bet that no one can tell him anything about the show business. Omene, the dancer, denies she is Turco-Irish. If the truth were told, it is probable that the only Turkey in Omene is what she has obtained from Thanksgiving dinners. Pauline Haix. is as handsome as ever. But few women on the stage equal Pauline for beauty, and her success in life has not swelled her head in the least. To all her old friends she is the same good-hearted girl as of old. Max Fbeeman, the stage manager, says "Lillian Russell is amiable and charming. Marie Jansen most easy to get along with, and as for Marie Tempest, the wonderful serenity of her temper would put a Grosvenor to shame." During the recent engagement of "Yon Yonson" in Omaha, Gus Heege was approached by a committee of the Sons of Sweden Lodge, and asked to suggest an appropriate song to be Bung on the occasion of the celebration of the anniversary of the founding of the order. "Swede Violets,'' said Heege, "is the song I should advise Swedes to sing upon all occasions.'' PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 185 The mouth of the soubrette grows larger every year. By- and-by it will take in the whole stage. Susie Keewin owns up to being thirty-two. This is the first time on record where an actress has ever acknowledged to be over the limit, which is twenty-eight. A Chicago reporter interviewed Minnie Hauck, and this is the way he commenced his slush: "As the reporter entered the door of the magnificent suite of rooms he heard the hum- ming of a jolly air from H Trovatore." That is good, it is such a jolly opera. Statuesque beauties are good to look at, but they ain't worth a cent when it comes to filling speaking parts. As long as they stand still and keep their mouths shut they are all right, but they loose their power of fascination the moment they attempt to talk or act in any way. A prominent actor said the other day: "What has brought elocution into disrepute is the dense ignorance of forty-nine out of every fifty that pretend to teach it, and the gross stupidity of those that mistake what they get from the ignoramuses for elocution. There are not a half-dozen people in the country capable of teaching it." When Bert Dasher was mayor of Broad Kipple, Ind., he was called upon to decide many important points of law, but when carried to the upper courts his decisions were always sat down upon. One day, in an intricate case. Mayor Dasher said, "I won't decide this case now, take it to the upper courts first, get their decision and then Fll decide. D — d if I don't want to do a little of this overruling myself." l86 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. It is always customary for a successful actor to be sick. Billy Barry is said to suifer with pains in his finger nails. One of our variety combinations has a troupe of Arabs in its ranks. The principal Arab has no teeth, and Charley Day says "he has to gum-Arabic," Pauline Hall is decided in her opinion on the wearing of tights. She says "Tights should never expose more than the body up to the hips. I draw the line at the hips." A good advance agent is never supposed to sleep. He is expected to be around until the newspapers go to press and to show up again about the time the papers appear on the street. Julia Maklowe says she does not thank any one to puff her in the newspapers, what she wants is the plain unvarnished truth told about her. Well, Julia, may be in earnest, but the plain truth would prove the death of nine actresses out of ten. The Russian Government refused to allow Mme. Modjeska to play Hamlet during her recent visit to that country, on the ground that there was altogether too much King killing in the play, and that it might have a tendency to induce the people to kill the Czar. Managee Tillottson, of the "Niobe" company, last week sent a pair of pants to the cleaner. The man of repairs re- turned to him several articles found in the pockets, which "Tilly" neglected to remove. After looking over the list, Manager George Murray has come to the conclusion that my friend Tillottson is a Republican, and in favor of protection. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 187 MoDjESKA is a grandmother, but as she doesn't pose as a soubrette we can aflford to tell it. It takes a man a long time to write a play, and he is glad when the end is reached. The critics often end it for him. I heard an actor telling some of his friends, last week, that he had never known stage fright. He admirers have, however. Handing floral offerings over the footlights will mar any performance, and it is a nuisance that should be abated. Wait until the close of the performance. An actress remarked in my hearing the other day that a woman should never marry a fine looking man, unless she wants to spend her evenings alone, as they belong to more lodges than there are days in the week. A friend of mine chased me for six hours last Monday and spent sixty cents in car fare to have me give him a circus ticket, and then he failed. A chronic dead-head will spend two dollars looking for a free paas to the show before he would put up fifty cents at the door. A gentleman at one of the theaters, the other evening, had a seat near the center of the house off from the aisle. A lady was compelled to rise every time he went out to see a man, and as he was going out for the fourth time he said, in a tone of apology, "I am very sorry to disturb you, Madame." She sweetly smiled as she replied, "Don't mention it. My husband keeps a saloon, and I like to encourage trade." And the orchestra played "He Never Came Back.'' 1 88 TICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. AcTOKS can take their choice iu Warren, Ohio. The jail is on one side of the theater and a church on the other. Did it ever strike you that a manager never smiles when the dead-heads laugh? He knows they are laughing at his expense. My idea of a comedian is that his business is to create laughter, but I've seen quite a number of alleged comedians of late who can make a fellow cry, but nary a laugh can they raise. The manager who finds no profit in his attraction, accepts the verdict of the public and retires, is wise. But the man who insists on trying to make the public believe he has a good show when he has not, is a D. F. Some time ago Tim Murphy took the pledge to abstain from drink for two years. It went very hard with him, and, on meeting Charley Hoyt one day, Tim was advised by the great author to give the preachers two weeks' notice. Let me give you a pointer. The weather has very little efiect on theatricals. A good show will bring a good audience every time, while the finest weather ever known will not fill a theater for a show that travels on a name or paper alone. The public knows what it wants all the same. Eugene Canheld, of Hoyt's a Midnight Bell Company, lays claim to being the homliest man on the stage. He had some photographs taken recently in San Francisco, and when they were finished refused to accept them, on the grounds that they were too pretty. He said: "I'm an old-timer and got over being pretty forty years ago." PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. l8g One of our managers will not let his men give lithograph tickets to one-armed men. He says, "they can't applaud the performance." You saw her on the stage. What a beautiful face. What a lovely complexion. What a superb form. This was at night. "But, oh, what a difference in the morning." A man who never puts up a cent to go into a theater told me last week that he would like to run a place of amusement just to be able to shut down on dead-heads. Most of the farce-comedy companies have an announcement on their programmes to the effect that no claim is made as to plot. The audience soon discovers that the statement is correct. Billy Goeman, of the "Danger Signal," advertised the other day for a singing chambermaid. He received an appli- cation, and when he asked who she had been with last he nearly fainted when she said "At the Sturtevant House, New York." __^ A young man who considers himself quite up in the show business told a friend last week that he didn't think the Juch Opera Company could give "The Walpurgis Nights," as it hadn't the voices. When told it was a ballet, he gave a man six cents to kick him six times. Heaed last week of a young man who was employed as a reporter on one of our papers. He had never tried newspaper work, but was confident he would be a go, and was given a trial. He went to work at 2 p. m. and at 2:10 he asked the city editor who he would have to see to get fixed for free passes to the theaters. I go PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. Elocution has spoiled more actors than anything else. Did you ever see an elocutionist that could act? Never. At Coney Island there is a machine that tells your fortune by electricity. A lot of chorus men and women are trying to get Edison to work on a machine that will tell where Jules Grau keeps his bank roll. Uncle Joslin Davis says: "Talk about dramatic art, here's what I can do that none of the rest on 'em can, I can touch my nose with my lower lip, and I've got all my teeth too, 'tain't as if I was gumming it." Manager George Dittman went to the Hot Springe to cufe rheumatism in his right leg, took twenty-one baths and a regular course of treatment, and returned home the other day with rheumatism in both legs. He has no more legs, so will not need to worry. Did you ever notice that scar over Bob Miles' right eye? Wilkes Booth the murderer of President Lincoln made him a present of that. Bob was playing Bichmond to Richard III of Booth many years ago, and in the excitement of the combat the latter cut Miles over the eye and on the right hand. Frank Bush, the Hebrew impersonator, suggested to Lewis Morrison a new entrance on his first appearance as Mephisto- pheles in "Faust." Bush gave an imitation of the scene in his act with the Mildred Novelty Company at New Rochelle, New York, recently. He made his entrance through a trap in the center of the stage with a load of overcoats on each arm and remarked: "I just came from sheol, now if these coats were only linen dusters I would have sold out," PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. igi What we want in this country is not new plays as much as some actors who can act. The idea of every ten-dollar-a-week song and dance artist tackling the legitimate is nothing short of crime. Billy Bland, one of the managers of "The Wicklow Postman," let one of the actresses go because her feet were ' 'in the way" when she danced. She is suing them now. Her de- fence is that she played cards one night, and after winning $26 she got cold feet, and since that time she has been unable to dance. An English critic, after filling up with several mugs of "'alf and 'alf," thus writes of our Ada's 1 — s. "But it may be said without any frivolty or levity, that not the least charm of Miss Rehan's exquisite impersonation of Rosalind lies in the plump calves and delicately moulded legs sheathed in chocolate tights, with which she disports in Arden Forest. The Rehan legs suggest the graceful strength and subdued decorativeness of the Doric style of architecture. The Doric is more massive and severe, the Corinthian is more ornate. Miss Rehan's legs are Doric." Snitz Edwards, the clever little comedian of the Jane company, has a father and mother who speak but little Eng- lish, altiiough they have been in this country over twenty years. They are devoted to their boy, and when he appears in a new play, they always attend the opening night. They were on hand the first night of "Jane" and Snitz told them he would not appear until the third act, but forgot to tell them of the curtain raiser. At the second act of "Jane," with the curtain raiser making three acts, they rose from their seats and left the theater, his mother bursting into tears and exclaimed, "My Snit? is discharged," 192 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 80MK of the boys call Ed Cleary "The Irish Kentuckian Globe Trotter." Years ago, when a boy convinced his parents that he was a born block-head, they at once made arrangements to make a preacher of him, but nowadays it's different, they put him on the stage. A.LL the important serio-comics that now flutter on the stage of the roof gardens and music halls of New York, require four times the amount of introductory music that an American does, but with their encore it is hardly requisite that they should have any, barring the faint applause that they receive from the audience. So anxious apparently are they to return, two beer-jerkers clapping their hands will bring them back on the stage in one second. Eddie Foy tells a good story on his mother. When he received $25 per week his mother used to tell her neighbors her son got $100 a month for clogging and jigging. When he received $75 per week, she almost went crazy with delight. One day he wrote her a letter saying he would ask for $150 a week for the coming season. She wrote back to him and said, "Lookout, my son, you are liable to be arrested for ob- taining money under false pretenses.'' Ted Marks was approached by an actor the other evening, who asked for a pass to go to the Imperial Music Hall. "I wont let any actor have passes," said Marks. "And why not?" replied the actor. Said Marks, "Show me one hundred actors and I will show you one hundred roasters." To this the actor replied : ' 'There are but three liars on earth, one is Jim Lederer and Ted Marks is the other two." PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. I93 Happy Ward says "that the streets of Daytou are paved with waffles." There is an actor with a prominent company who wears a crease in his leg instead of his trousers. John Kernell has the record for being the most careless man in the theatrical business when he is drinking. "Many a time," said a friend of John's, "have I seen him start out on a drunk with one dollar in his pocket and return the next day with twenty-three dollars." She was seated at the piano at 10 p. m. singing "Papa Won't Buy Me a Bow-wow," when the old man rolled in loaded to the guards. "You can bet your sweet tintype he 'won't buy a you a bow-wow.' What's the matter with that 'pug' who calls here twice a week? How many dogs do you want?" While the May Howard Company was here, Manager Harry Morris hired a horse for use in the afterpiece, and on Sunday received the bill for use of same, $8. Harry thought the bill a little steep and told the man that "he could probably have bought the horse for that amount." "No, sir," said the owner, "there is no man living can buy that horse from me for less than $11.'' Enter American and English actors — Bartender to Ameri- can: "What's your order?" American actor: "A cocktail, please." "And yours, please?" to the Englishman. Englishman : " I don't think, old fellow, that I have a preference for any of the tail feathers of the fowl. You may give me a little of the breast, however, if you please." 194 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. A circus in Paris advertised a serpentine dance by a woman on horseback. By the shade of Barnum and Dan Rice, what is the circus coming to? A well-known soubrette wired a friend for $100 a few days ago. The friend replied: "Will $50 do?" She answered, "Yes, $50 will do." The last reply was: "Do, do, My Huckle- berry, do." Say, you fellow, if you can write a play that will make an entire audience laugh all over the house just alike, and make them keep it up for two hours, the play will be worth $100,000 to you. Can you do it? It's worth trying for. I met a pretty little black-eyed girl the other day. She was wearing a dainty little cap, and as she is quite a theater-goer, I told her she should wear that style to the play. She said, "no indeed, she always wore a big hat, as it was so jolly to hear the men who sat behind her swear." Peofessionals are queer people in many ways. It is notori- ously the fact, that most of, the men and women on the stage will accept promises of large salaries from men who can not pay it if the money fails to come in, rather than take more moderate compensation from managers who are safe. Thebe is the chorus girl and there is the soubrette. Farce comedy gave occasion for a grade between the two. It includes those young women who slug and dance in "bevies" of four or five, each girl having two or three lines to speak. They re- pudiate with indignation the name of chorus girl. John Kemell of "The Hustler," in which several are engaged, has at last found a designation for them, he calls them "sub-soubrettes." WCKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. '9S A manager writes me: "We are dropping money all the time; but health good, and we are lucky to be living." He is a wise man who knows his own father, and he is a wise author who knows his own play after the actors have had a pull at it. If a comedian faUs to get a laugh any other way, all he has to do is to say "d — n'' and the average audience will be sure to laugh. Wonder why it is swearing is not supposed to be funny? Some time ago, Herrmann gave a performance in Mont- gomery, Ala. It was his first appearance in that city, the audience was a very small one and the professor was disgusted. During one of his feats he needed the assistance of some one from the audience. When the man reached the stage Herrmann said, "Did you ever see me in this city before?" "No, sir." "Well, take a good look at me for you will never see me here again." Hagbnback, who had the trained wild animal show in the Midway Plaisance, has an immense place in Hamburg, and he supplies all of the principal zoological gardens and animal shows of the world with their stock. A few years ago, Billy Gruber, while in the city of Hamburg, visited the place, and at the entrance met an elderly man in working clothes, who, when he found Gruber was from America, .took pains to see that Billy would not miss a,ny of the sights, and escorted him all through the place. As Gruber was leaving he handed the man a gold piece, but the money was refused. Gruber insisted, saying, "you have been kind to me and I want you to accept the money as I can afford it." "Well," said the map, "I can afford to refuse it, I am Mr. Hagenback." It was then that two persons crossed the street and corks were pulled from several long-necked bottles, and this saved Billy from kicking himself to death. ig6 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. The great drawback to the average soubrette is sbe won't flirt. She is simply on the smash. A female Hamlet is running loose out in the far West, and yet we raise a holy howl because they have lynching bees out there. ^ Nowadays the soubrette who does not have a press agent "is not in it." It does not cost the girls much. They are not a case of "come high." A jay presented two tickets for admission to the Bijou Thea- ter in Pittsburgh the other night. When the door-keeper asked him why he bought two tickets for one admission, the yokel replied, "I'm coming out again." I see a good many ladies in the audiences of the theaters in the evening wearing veils. Do they know that they are not "in it" as far as fashion is concerned, as the veil is tabooed for evening wear at places of amusement? Nowadays, when the played-out soubrette can't get adver- tised on the diamond racket or on the divorce business, she borrows a cowhide and goes in search of some alleged dramatic critic. Anything to get her name before the public. Milton Coffee-pot Mack was recently accosted in the- Phoenix Hotel by an actor who took oifense at something that was said regarding his ability. "Come outside and I'll lick you," said the actor. ■ "Will you?' "Yes." "Then I'll stay right where I am." • PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 197 Some of the actors we have had here of late can hardly draw their breath, much less expenses. Why can't our legislature pass a law making it punishable by death to foist and aged chestnut on the public, as some of our comedians do. The style for old actresses is to marry men at least twenty years younger than themselves. But then can you blame the giddy young things. A manager writes me that the opera house in a town in Ohio has twenty-six ushers. These and the dead-heads always insure companies big houses. Here is one a friend sends in, so don't blame me; The actor and pugilist were playing poker when the call came, said the actor: "I'm sick." "What have you got?" asked the pugilist. "Pair aces." (Paresis.) Tom Davis, of the managerial firm of Litt & Davis, car. tell some daisy stories. . He is an old-time circus agent, and here is one of his sawdust stories: He says "that he met a fakir in the streets of Bombay who implored backsheesh, and promised in return to do something remarkable. The liberal circus agent bestowed some of Mr. Barnum's money, whereup- on, the fakir threw a rope up in the air and it stood upright. He then climbed the rope hand over hand, and ■ after disap- pearing from view pulled the rope up after him; and while he stood gazing up into the sky the rope reappeared and the fakir came down hand over hand, and after coiling the rope around his body disappeared with a low salaam." tgS Pickings from lobby chatter. "Give me a light beer," said a thirsty thespian in Detroit the other night, and the -waiter brought it with a match in the glass.j DuEiNG a performance in a one night stand recently, the fire bells rang and the entire orchestra ran to the fire. The musicianB all belonged to the department. I know a variety actress who says she never has to worry about how her husband spends his evenings. He is up in the pen at Columbus on a five years' sentence for bigamy. An Eastern poet gives the long-haired piano player the fol- lowing send olF: "All hail to thee, great Ignace Paderewski; Thy shock of hair through which the breezes blewski. Is not so lengthy as of yore it grewski. For which all hail and many thanks to youski." While playing in Columbus last season, Evans and Hoey had occasion to borrow a dog, as the acting dog, so long identi- fied with the success of "The Parlor Match,'' was on the sick list and could not appear. The property man, after considerable trouble, secured one. While holding him for the entrance of Old Hoss, the dog saw Evans on the other side of the stage, made a break and started across the stage for him and chased him up into the fly gallery. Evans in the mean time calling them to take the dog off. On questioning the property man as to where he had obtained the dog, he said "It was left in the town by an 'Uncle Tom Company.'" The dog recognized the make-up of Evans, which so much resembled Marks, the lawyer, and could not resist the temptation to give him a run for his money. » PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. I99 AiNT it funny we never meet widows half so charming in real life as those who appear on the stage? Across the pond, in the music halls the performers stand up to the bar in their stage clothes and take their tod. Ed Abrams tells me of a German manager of a theater in Pennsylvania who is a "corker." The house was not well filled the night Ed's show was there and he asked the manager the cause of the small audience. "Veil, you see dis is how it is, lots of de men here is out of vorli, and dem what is not vork- ' ing is doing nothing." This was entirely satisfactory to Ed. Variety stage life has its adversities. While the members of The Hustler Company were waiting at the Grand Eapids railroad station, there came stalking down the railroad track a tall, slim, long-haired man, attired in the conventional Hamlet costume, much tattered, who recognized John Kernell as a fellow actor; the stranger said that he was Sylvester Cushman, who had started out starring in Shakespearean plays a few weeks before; that he had been stranded in the little town of Elbing, that his companions^ had deserted him and his landlord had kept his clothes, allowing him only the useless Hamlet costume, in which he had walked ties for thirty-seven miles. He was hungry and willing to do anything. E. J. Nugent, the treasurer of the Hustler Company, at once engaged him for the small part commonly filled by the property man, the engagement to be subject to manager Thomas, H. Davis' ap- proval, which promptly came by wire. In this role the ex- Shakespearean tragedian has only to grind a barrel organ in one scene and to drive a patrol wagon in another. He grace- fully agreed to take the part until the company should reach Chicago, where he might obtain some position more congenial. Pickings prom j.obby chatter. Why not caJl some of our opera houses theaters? What makes them opera houses, any how? The Uncle Tom and Eva of an U. T. «how, -which stranded this summer in a Western town, went to work skinning toma- toes in a canning factoty and made enough money to get to their homes. They have lost all desire to act. I met a variety ham at one of our theaters a few days since, and noticed that his wife was not the same as last season. The man said: "My wife died about four months ago and this is my new one. You can bet your life that I am a hustler.'' Whenever an actress, who has traveled more on her shape than on her merits as an artist, makes a failure on the Ameri- can stage, she strikes a bee-line for Europe, and advertises her- self as "the lady who is considered to have the finest figure in America.'' I have a friend in the profession whose home is in Louis- ville, who has played in tough luck this season. Early in the season, the troupe he was with broke up and left him stranded in Denver. Then he joined a company going East, and now he is stranded in Maine. An actor walked into one of our theaters last night and looked in. The house was not very good. Later in the even- ing he was talking to the manager of the company, he asked how business was. "Oh, great," said the manager, "we had over $800 in the house to-night." The actor looked at him a minute, and replied: "Well, if you had $800 in that house to-night, some one in the audience dropped it on the floor." PICKINGS PROM LOBBY CHATTER. Sol Did it ever strike you that a dead-head is a lively corpse? If you have to go out between acts, don't bring your breath back -with you without diluting it with a clove. We want sadness to wake us up to the responsibilities of life, and that is why we enjoy some of the alleged comedians' funny business. The moral of the play do5s not appear to cut any figure with an audience. "Ten Nights in a Bar-Room" will not keep the boys from going out between the acts and hoisting in a bowl. A certain local manager and the proprietor of a combination could not agree on terms. A heated argument ensued and the former told the latter to "go to h — 1." "I am booked there Christmas," said the combination manager. Snitz Edwards, is a ninety-pound comedian who smokes one hundred cigarettes every day but has never been on a bicycle. He is a quiet character and tells me that a French Countess was so deep in love with him a few years ago that she suicided when he left over there. He has a picture of the tombstone to show in case one doubts the story. The real actors don't have to loaf in the summer time any more. They can all get engagements on the roof gardens. When it rains they don't need to appear, and an actor who can't do a specialty takes roof garden engagements just the same. If it rains three nights in a week, he gets half a week's salary, because when it don't rain he sends a note to the mana- ger and informs him that he is too ill to appear. He only shows up on rainy nights. See? MckiNgs Prom lobbV CHaTteR. A manager in hard luck told his company to whistle for their money, same as Mrs. Shaw. Some one has been mean enough to say that Deadham, Mass., would be a good place to bury bad actors. When the glass-eater was at our museum. Manager Avery tells me that he would not eat hot biscuits; they gave him the dyspepsia. Theke are two types of press agents; one who writes a line with the certainty of getting it into the papers, and the other who writes a column with a dead certainty of getting left. One actor asked another: "What are you going to do in the winter season?" "First let me get through with the sum- mer season," replied the second actor, "and if I can manage to do that much I really think I will commit suicide to pass away the winter season." Jake Rosenthal ordered a plate of soup at Coney Island last Sunday, and as the waiter was placing it on the table, Jake became excited and exclaimed: "Hold on waiter, excuse me, but you have got your finger in my soup." "Oh, dat's all rig'if," said the waiter, "It won't burn my fingersj de soup is cold." A ballet girl was discharged from the "Black Crook" about seven weeks ago. The manager told her she had either to buy a pair of pads or quit. She preferred the latter. The ballet girl found out the managers summer residence, and yesterday he was surprised to receive by express a bale of cotton with a note, saying: "While you are resting this summer buy a machine and make some shapes for your tribe for next season." PICKINGS PROM LOBBY CHATTER. 20^ A certain New York hotel lives on the patronage of Bhow people. Yet they keep a special policeman to see that no pro- fessionals congregate on the sidewalks.' Lookout for some of our good dramatic authors springing a play on us about the cholera scare, with a great sensational scene in which a doctor will bring in a couple of microbes — handcuffed. An old colored woman, one of those dear old daughters of - Ham, who are known under the general term of "Auntie," walked into a large store in an Arkansas town one day, ac- companied by a well-grown boy. She had quite a number of purchases to mate. As she bought a package she placed it in a big bag, each time she made a new purchase she would re- count all the other packages to make sure that she had not lost none. Everything appeared to be all right until her last purchase, when she made her recount and missed a package, she dumped the entire contents of the bag in the main pas- sageway and began to count her packages, heedless of the comfort of the other customers in the store. One of the clerks thought he would chaff the old woman a bit, and ventured a remark or two. The old woman only replied: "Go way chile, go way chile, doan you 'no I'se a widder?" "How long have you been a widow. Auntie?" persisted the clerk. "I'se been a widder eighteen years.'' "Why, how old is that boy over there?" "He's foteen years old." "Why, how do you make that out? You a widow eighteen years and that boy only fourteen years old?" "Don't pry, chile, don't pry; don't you 'no de hul State of Arkansas am one big fambly?" 404 PICKINGS PROM LOBBY CHATTER. AiNT it funny that the average comedian thinks that he was cut out to be a tragedian ? And most of them act as if they really were tragedians. Curtain raisers accomplish one thing, and one only, they spoil an entertainment. No matter how clever they are, they hurt the play they precede. Mike Leavitt has adopted a new scheme for the treasurers of his various enterprises. They will all wear boxing gloves to keep their hands out of their pockets. The wild yell of the scared baby is not heard so often in our theaters, and the women have mostly given up the idea of making nurseries out of the show shops. How amusing Kocky Mountain dramas are; the hero always says to the city chap: "Why, stranger, this yar gal has never been out of this yar canyon in her life; no, siree, she never seed a city.'' Then he calls the Rocky Mountain Boubrette over to him and says: " Come, gal, sing a song for the city cuss," and the first song she sings is a French one, with an imitation of Patti for an encore. Not one actor out of a hundred is cut out for a business manager. But the majority of them think otherwise. The moment the average actor makes a hit he wants to star, and not only does he want to shine as a star, but he wants to run the business as well, be stage manager and chief cook and bottle washer in all things. And he never takes a tumble to him- self until the whole show collapses, and then, as he lays flat on his back, perfectly helpless, he wonders what on earth could have struck him. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 205 An enterprising manager is about to build a theater iu Pittsburgh, with the people in it. OscAK Murray, now the traffic manager of the Big Four railroad, not many years ago was treasurer of Harry Greeu- wall's Theater, in Galveston, Texas, and Harry says he was a good one. There is a Western barn-storming manager of the name or Potter, who is not very prompt on salaries. One day one of his company asked for $3. "What do you want with $3?" "To buy a pair of shoes." "No, you don't get it," said Potter. "You want to buy a pair of shoes so as to quit me and walk home." An actor of the name of Carr called on his best girl one evening last summer, and rang the door bell. A window was raised in the upper story and the old man yelled: "Who's there?" "Mr. Carr." "Well, wait for another." The window closed with a bang, and Mr. Carr followed his bang down the street. Every one has his respective way of judging an actor. There are no two who think exactly alike as to the merits of this or that actor. One says that Mansfield is a dramatic freak, another says he is a great actor that lacks judgment in pick- ing out his plays, another says he is splendid in refined comedy, but has not the least conception of tragedy. Then comes a critic who says, "Mansfield is undoubtedly a very clever actor, but he lacks the humor of John Kernell, and the easy, grace- ful style of Jim Corbett." 206 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. AxL the world is a stage, but all the players are not actors by a long sight. A manager remarked to me, one evening last week, that "there was ice outside of his theater and snow inside." We are to have a play in which the villain will not inspect his nails or smoke cigarettes. This piece should be a success. An agent made out his wash list thus: "One streamer, two half-sheets and a three-sheet," and gave his wash lady a collar, pair of cuffs and a white vest. I asked an actor once why he did not use his own name while on the stage, and he said "that he was such a bad actor he did not want to disgrace his relations.'' People who crowd the theaters to see the sluggers try to act, are most of them freak worshipers. To people who love the drama, this class of actors are objects of pity. An actor was reported dead the other day in New York, and the papers gave him a great send off. He says "he never had any idea what a royal good fellow he was until he read his obituaries, and is almost sorry he isn't a stiff." Theeb is a certain sort of biped that infests the theater that should be muzzled before being admitted, as it would save peo- ple who go with the intention of enjoying the play a great deal of annoyance. The animal referred to is invariably blessed with a Hunyadi yoice, which is used to the best advantage by repeating to whoever he may be with every word on the stage, to the great discomfort of those seated in front of him. ' PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 207 Did you ever notice what fast writers the ac,tors are when they write a letter on the stage? Smiley Walkek went through the Thousand Islands, and he counted only 963, he went to the captain and got a rebate on his fare. There are a certain class of actors and actresses who are not much on acting, but they make it their business to write in- terviews withthemselves and tell the public what good acting is. A well-known amateur actress recently received an offer of marriage, but declined on the ground that it would injure her future career. She ought to have known that a divorce would have been a big boom for her. A lady writes me to let up on the high hat question. She says: "They are not near the nuisance that the man is who goes out between every act, and who when he returns and blows off his breath along the row almost takes the varnish off the seats." Some of the boys who smoke cigarettes in the corridors between acts have a new scheme. They carry little scissors, and when the bell rings and they have to go in the auditorium again they clip the burnt end of the cigarette and save the rest. This is good for the dudes but bad for the cigar stores. Aechie Boyd writes me of a manager he met recently in the West who refuses to give the company their mail until after the performance. His excuse was that there might be something in the letters that would make the actors sick and they would not play, consequently would ruin his reputation. Boyd told him there would be no show if he did not give up tbe Jjaail; and he flunked. 2o8 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. It looks as if the day of prize fighters posing as actors Lad gone by. So mote it be. The latest fad for stage people is to hold a reception after the show. It tickles the bald-heads, dudes and matinee-crazed women. It looks as if the divorce court and scandal had had their day on the stage. The woman must know how to act or she will be a failure. Pat Eeilly told one of his girls, in Indianapolis last week, that in her dance she must raise her skirts higher. She said: "If I do you'll have to raise my salary," and Pat said "Let it go at that." The temporary insanity trick has not yet been tried by the star who requires booming. Stars have jumped ofi" trains, arrested burglars, recovered jewels, returned borrowed um- brellas and paid bogus checks, but none of them have tried this dodge. « They have a hotel man in the Northern part of the state who says he does not like show troupers. When asked why, he said: "They ask me to take half of their board bill off; then they ask me if I am satisfied, and when I say yes they take off the other half, to satisfy themselves." The old story was again heard last week. A young fellow falls in love with a ballet girl, and when his money gives out and he gets into trouble, the girl gives him the shake and has the old gag of "Oh, yes, he was in love with me, but I did not encourage him." Mice! She can sing "One of his Legs is longer than it really ought to be." And you pulled it. Sis. PICKINGS KROM LOBBY CHATTER. 209 Punch Wheeler is responsible for the statement that there are no footlights in the opera house at Tucson, Arizona, and the manager made the actors wear candles on their feet. That freak, Laloo, who has been seen at the Museum here, is to be married to a Philadelphia girl. He will take her to his home iu India, and it is to be hoped he will keep her there, as such damphools should be kept out of the country. Lou Harbison writes from Upper Sandusky: "As I opened the doors of the theater this evening an usher was whistling 'After the Ball.' I called him over and said, 'Young man, please don't whistle After the Ball.' He replied: 'You are mistaken, partner, I was not whistling After the Ball, I was whistling a parody on it.'" I see by a dispatch in an Eastern paper that another preacher has decided to become an actor. No wonder the stage is becoming demoralized. If preachers and prize fighters and women who live on scandal are going to adopt the stage as a profession, those who were born to the business of acting will find their means of gaining an honest living cut off, and will have to become fakirs in turn if they wish to keep from starving. Talk about enterprise, they are going to produce a play in Berlin with real cannibals on the stage, and they are going to roast and eat each other right before the footlights. Won't that be nice? Better than a real prize fight, where they slug each other into unrecognizable shapes. No use in talking, dra- matic art is getting there with both feet, and that too without the aid of Shakespeare, Sheridan Knowles, and other playwright heavy weights. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. Good plays like good actors, are always scarce. Did you ever notice that when the hero of the play says, "I will save her or die," that he always saves her? He never dies. An actor remarked the other day that it -was always hot for him. ' In the summer the weather roasted him and in the winter it was the newspapers. They are having an Egyptian dance in a new ballet in Paris, and the costume consists of a handkerchief tied around the hips. This is nearing the limit. What is the matter with society? So far this season there has not been even one lone society woman who has secured a divorce from her hubby in order to go a starring. A water tank manager called his leading man to the office after the performance and said: "What do you mean by smiling in your death scene as you did to-night?" "With the salary you promise me death seems a happy relief." Lee Harbison writes me: "How awfully amusing it is to take tickets in a one night stand. A man had been in the theater about five minutes this evening when he suddenly came to the door on a dead run and said : ' Give me my money back.' For why? says I. 'Because,' says he, 'I thought this was a church festival and I've been waiting for the oyster soup to be passed around.' Well, I said, I'm very sorry, but I can't give you your money back. 'By gosh,' he exclaimed, 'I can't stay anyhow, I have to milk ten cows before 8 o'clock.' He got his money back.'' PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER, Necessity has forced a good many -women on the stage, and necessity ought to force a good many alleged actresses into the laundry. A good many professional people are getting married just now. Cold weather is setting in and — well, one berth in the sleeper is cheaper than two. A soubrette writing for a position describes herself as fol- lows: "I am the personification of purity and sweetness, my physical construction and durability of beauty are unsurpassable. I have an elegant wardrobe, in itself a feature." Smirched society women are not rushing to the stage as much as they did. They have learned from the cold treatment given to Baroness Blanc, Mrs. Carter and others that they are not wanted by theater-goers. Jake Rudolph, the Sixth street barber, was shaving the star of' the "Isle of Champagne Company,'' one day last week, and after he finished the chin scraping, said to the comedian : "Seabrook!" "Well, what is it?" "I mean sea-foam." "Oh! Yes, give me a lithograph ticket's worth." Ted Marks, who does the advance for "Gloriana," was walking up Vine street yesterday, giving the ladies a treat. He was accompanied by Harry Rainforth's big mastiff. King. When near Eighth street he was accosted by a party who said: " That's a fine dog. Do you belong to an Uncle Tom troupe?" "Yes," said Ted, "I'm Marks, the lawyer." PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. The colder the weather, the lighter the costumes iii comic opera. No wonder the girls kick high. The man who was born a bad actor requires uo explana- tion, as he has no right to achieve bad acting. There is an actor in New York who is the envy of the Rialto. He is a great linguist, and during the summer season can ask for the loan" of money in eight languages. Young ladies when they go on the stage, think of it as fairy land and want to be wedded to their art. In a short time they all talk shop. And art is not in it. An actress out West wants a divorce. When angry with her husband she has been in the habit of biting him. Recent- ly he took away her false teeth, and she thinks she has a good caae. A society lady of New York recently went on the stage, and a friend remarked: "I want to see her act dreadfully." Her friend, who had witnessed the acting of the lady, said: "She always acts that way." A manager engaged an actor the other day on account of his nobby dressing. The actor told him that he dressed just the same on the stage as off. The manager inferred that he meant just as nobby. At a dress rehearsal a few days after the manager was surprised to see his nobby-dressed actor with the same suit on. When questioned about it' he said, "I told you that I dressed the same off as on." Sequel: The actor was wearing his^tage clothes on the street. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 2X3 Therk is a soubrette iu New York who leads a pretty gay life, and one of her friends, in speaking of her, said "that even her hosiery was stamped warranted fast." Now that the prize fighters and horse jockeys are becoming star actors we may soon hear of some saloon keeper writing a temperance drama and starring his barkeepers. As the actors had to work on Thanksgiving Day, they were not as thankful as people who enjoyed it as a holiday. How- ever, as it is generally a good da,y for their managers, it gives great assistance to the "walking of the ghost," and for this they can return thanks. A member of the profession was seen on Broadway one day wearing the A. O. U. W. badge. He was accosted by a man who gave him a sign which was not recognized by the actor, who was told by the stranger that he should not wear the badge as it was one of the Ancient Order of United Work- men. The actor replied: "Not much, with me it means the Actors Order of Unpaid Wages." Odeul Williams, who plays the judge in "Alabama," tells the following good one. "When I was in San Francisco in 75," said the actor, "I had a very amusing experience. I had just stepped into a side door when a tenderfoot entered and asked for a drink, and on being informed that the price was two bits he looked surprised. The bartender assured him that our goods are only of the finest and our saloon is furnished in the best. 'Why,' said the drink mixer, 'there is a picture painted by Meissoner that cost $50,000.' The stranger left in disgust" but soon returned blindfolded, and laying ten cents on the counter asked for a dime's worth of whisky without art." 214 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. The right name of the late Kate Castleton was Jennie E. Freeman. A soubrette received a letter from her latest mafib, and he said: "Come to me in the flush of summer." She wrote that she was not at work and consequently not flush. I saw a colored funeral not long since with five pall bear- ers. This odd number struck me as singular until a theatrical friend of mine said that in life the deceased, while playing craps, had never been able to throw more than that number. Sol Smith Eussell says: "Some critics have been trying to discover why I am popular. One said it was my winning smile, another said that it was the downright homeliness of my face, and still another said it was due to my pedal extremities. Sometimes I am surprised myself." Andy McKay writes that he has been playing the state of Maine with an opera company, but owing to the high prices paid to harvest hands nearly all his company has left him and taken to the hay fields, leaving him with the town billed and no company to play the date. ■* Consequently he offers a cer- tainty anywhere from $500 to $2,500 for an organized opera company to play the date with. I know an actor who^dreads the number 13 more than the smallpox. He got in a street car one day and on alighting at the end of his trip, he discovered that the car bore the fatal num- ber 13. When I left him in the East, he was expecting every moment that bad luck of some kind would strike him, and it did. He received by mail a tailor bill four years old, and it was for a balance of 13 dollars. He wont pay it, it would be bad luck. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. JIJ Punch Wheeler is putting in the winter trying to solve the problem: "Does an incubated chicken love its mother?" "1 can't eat lithographs," -was the telegraphic reply an actor made to a manager, when he was offered a small salary and a litho. I have a theatrical friend who has a mania for pumping everyone for news. He is said to have once tried to pump a church organ. One of our soubrettes has had marriage proposed to her by her latest Johnnie and says, "if the detectives report favorably on him she may let him carry her grip for life, unless discharged You wiU see women on the street no matter how hot the sun in a hat not larger shan a postage stamp. But when she goes to a theater she wears one about the size of an open umbrella. On one occasion when Bob Miles was playing "Mazeppa" at the "Old Nash" on Sycamore street, his trained horse was taken suddenly very ill late in the afternoon, and as he had no understudy, tilings looked blue. Finally the property man found a horse at one of the livery stables that he thought would do. He came on the stage all right until he saw the footlights. He trembled like an aspen for a few seconds, and then made a leap for the orchestra. Lew Ballenberg was blow- ing away on his flute in about the pla,ce the horse jumped for, and as the horse jumped into the orchestra. Lew jumped out, and he declares to this day that he cleared sixteen rows of seats in one jump. The play was finished without a horse and without a flute player. 2l6 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. Isn't it strange that you never hear of an actress artlicted with paresis? JiMMiB Robinson, the great bareback rider, was at one time a tape measurer in a Louisville dry goods store at $5 a week. His last engagement in the ring was at a salary of $500 a week. Lee Harrison writes that he has no intention ot starring in an Irish drama. He says he will either play the "Marble Heart" next season or have the ham sandwich privilege at the Oriental Theater, New York. Milt Gotthold tells a funny one on Will Gorman. Milt lives on Thirty-fourth street, the street that Princess Eulalia was first driven through on her arrival in New York. The next day the street was torn up to lay gas pipes. Gorman ^ who is a constant visitor at Milt's house, was informed that the citizens were taking up the paving stones as souvenirs. Gorman grabbed two of them weighing ten pounds each and carried them home under difficulties. The last seen of Will he was swearing a blue streak and vengeance against Milt as he has since found out the gag. Al Field, the Minstrel manager, was sitting in the Cole- man House office the other day, when he saw enter the door a man who had been very kind to him while* showing in a Southern town, that is he thought this was his friend, Al being troubled with his eyes and not seeing very well. At any rate, he grabed the man by the hand, told how glad he was to see him, bought him a small bottle with lunch and cigars, and when he got a good flash at the man, found he had never seen him before. The fellow was a race follower, and it was not his place to explain anything. PICKINGS FkOM LOBBY CHATTER. 21'J The greatest idea yet thought of is credited to Bob Grau. He insists, aa further proof, that all agents of companies that have made the traditional $30,000 this season and their words not taken, that said agents carry a kodak and take an instan- taneous photograph of their large houses. A good thing is told of Billy. Mestayer, the fat comedian. While riding in an elevated car two very thin dudes sitting opposite Meetayer got funny, and remarked "that hereafter the Elevated was going to charge by weight." Mestayer looked at said thin dudes in disgust and said to them: "When that happens they won't stop to pick you up, as you don't weigh enough." Milt Gotthold tells me of a Cincinnati actress who came to him last week and said she had made up her mind to play "old women" after this, although only about 28 years of age. She said her mother had concluded to go on the stage and she must get a posyion for her. "What line of business will your mother try?" Said Milt. "Oh, mother will only play juveniles." A certain booking agent wrote a local manager in an Ohio town for a date, and to save time told said local manager that he wanted to live and let live, and knowing him to be a worker and only playing two attractions a week, he would give him gilt-edge terms, 65 and 35 per cent. The local manager wrote back that he was glad to see him a man of sense and alive to the fact he (said local manager) was a hustler, but he could not play the attraction for less than one-third of the gross. The contracts were sent and signed, and it has not yet donned on the local hustler that he beat himself out of one-and-two- thirds per cent. 2l8 PICKINGS PROM LOBBY CHATTER. John Springer lost a few three-sheets and his whiskers in ii poker game the other night in New York. Matt Berey who was over in Australia recently, tells me that George Miln, the preacher actor, has made $50,000 in New Zealand. He has a leading lady in his company with a Michigan brogue, which Matt says couldn't be cut with a scythe. * It is funny to see one of the country managers get to New York for the first time. He strikes the Kialto expecting to create a sensation, and finds out that he has to tell every- one who he is, and then they say: "Hello, old boy, glad to see you," and rush along. And after the first day the country manager shrinks up. I attended a benefit performance at Jacobs' Theater last Sunday evening. The volunteers were all well-known variety people and as the turn of each came to go oi^the stage, his name was announced by Mike Gallagher, the well-known vol- unteer fireman of the "Still Alarm." He announced Kate Eooney as the daughter of the late diseased Irish comedian. The clever gentleman Will Kohs, has charge of Klaw and Erlanger's Dramatic Exchange, and the questions thrown at him during the day are not only many but some of them quite funny. One day last' week a man showed him a note he had found out on the front pavement which read as follows : "Dear Jim: Can you come up? Flo." "Well, what have I got to do with this?" Asked Will. "Can you tell me where Flo lives?" Said the man. "I cannot." " Well, this is a h — 1 of an information bureau." PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTEtl. 2I9 / The Kev. Bob Ingersoll acts as hie own treasurer, and in counting up the house mearly asks what the receipts are, re- quests his share and pockets the same with thanks, trusting to the honesty of the house treasurer. This method would send a cold chill chasing down the backs of some of the old-time managers. See Little Willie with little school-bag, Came home singing with little dog-jag. See Little Willie with little beer-kag. Coming home singing with another kind of jag. The above was the way a well-known comedian called Willie Pepkow, was seen going home the other night. George Welty took the heavy part, Lee Harrison took the swell. Jake Rosenthal took the hero. And they say he took it well. Doc Freeman took the leading part, John T. Kelly took the Prince. John Springer took the money, Andjhey haven't seen him since. Manager Harry Greenwall may be a little rough in his way, and impress a new acquaintance unfavorably, but he is one of the kindest of men and the stanchest of friends with a heart too big for his body. I heard of an act of kindness of his the other day to an unfortunate young man which I would love to tell, but cannot do so without hurting the young man, and I want him to be able to repay Harry Greenwall for the help he extended him in his hour of need. PICKINRS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. Thkkk are a good many schools of acting in this country, but the average actor they turn out is hardly -worth damning. EuGENK EoBiNSON has written to the Czar of Eussia asking permission to produce "Paul Kauvar" in St. Petersburg, and offering him a pass for two. l^o answer up to date. DeWolf Hoppek is not the handsomest, man on earth. He is a long, bony sort of a fellow, but every bone in him is filled with humor that is bound to break out at every given opportunity. A young aspirant for dramatic honors made application to a dramatic agent for a position; when asked her line, she said "she had played old woman," but her mother wanted an en- gagement and would have to play juveniles as she had never been on the stage. "Why should I give you a pass?" said Lew Ballenberg to a man who asked for a pass for two. "Why?" said his jaylets, "Why, Mr. Ballenberg, I clerked in a store where you bought a flute twenty yBars ago, and I boarded next door to you when you sat up nights learning to play." "Here! Hurry in the theater." Manager Avery came over to the Museum the other eve- ning, and gazing into the apartments of Jonathan R. Bass, the ossified man, asked that "rocked-ribbed" gentleman how he felt. . A queer twinkle shone in the sightless eyes of the living statue of bone as he replied: "Well, I am pretty tired. The skele- ton down in the glass case and myself were out over the Bhine last night, got pretty well loaded and did not g^ in until four o'clock this morning." PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. THk Prince of Wales never goes to the theater as a dead- head. He always puts up $50 for a box. Level-headed young men keep shy of the stage. There iis more money in commercial life, unless you are away up in front. Billy Goeman, manager of "The Danger Signal," was in- vited to spend last Sunday with friends at Mt. Vernon, N. Y., a. charming suburb of New York City. Billy accepted with thanks, as there are no offers of that kind that Billy won't accept. A new minister had an opening engagement that night at one of the churches, and as in all small towns, a new minister brings out all the congregation to size him up, so did this one; in fact, it was town talk, and fifteen minutes before service the standing-room sign was hung out. This minister was a dandy as Billy tells it. After the collection had been takea up, the minister made a few remarks like this: "He thanked all the brethern and sisters who had contributed, but for those who had not, he told a story of a certain man who had a severe case of malaria, and for whom the doctor prescribed calomel. He was advised not to be out in the rain, but on taking a walk one Sunday through the woods a shower came up unexpectedly, upon which this man made for a hollow tree and crawled in, after a while the rain stopped, but the hole had contracted and started to close up and he was then im- prisoned. Like the man who faces death, all this man's actions passed in review before him, he could not think of anything exactly mean that he had done except that he had not put any contribution in the plate at the church that morning, and thinking of this made him appear so small that he easily crawled out through the hole again." Billy says " that minister ig a dandy." The whole congregation laughed at the story. 222 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. Not one play out of a hundred written is accepted, and not one out of twenty produced proves a winner. The Governor of Texas is so stout that the manager of the opera house at Austin has a special chair made expressly for him. When he buys a ticket for the show he is charged for excess baggage. HEaiENA MoEA was an actress in a stock company in the English Provinces, and had been several years on the stage before she was aware that she could sing. One day the stage manager told her she must introduce a song in the part she was to play that evening. "I can't sing," said Mora. -"Make a bluff at it," said the manager. She did, and made a hit. She then went on the vaude\alle stage, as the salaries were better, and she is now one of the best cards in the country. One evening last season, during the run of "A Texas Steer" at Heuck's, Charley Hoyt, the author, was called in front of the curtain. After a speech of thanks, and as he was bowing himself off, he was confronted by manager Jim Fennessy who presented him with an elegant watch and chain, the gift of admiring friends. As Hoyt was going to the dressing room to show the watch to his wife, Fennessy said: "Well, give it to me." " Give you what?" said Hoyt. "The watch. Won't that make a bully 'ad' for us this week?" Jim had rushed on with his own watch and made the presentation, the idea suddenly seizing him when he saw Hoyt in front of the curtain. Hoyt nearly fainted but neither he nor Jim gave the joke away, and the newspapers all over the country made notice of the affair. I just caught on a short time since myself. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 223 "I never play cards for money,'' said Lillian Lewis when she was playing at the Walnut a few weeks ago. "I had one experience and that was enough for^a life-time. It was a few years ago near the close of a successful season. We were on the train rushing from one town to another, when some one thought it would be a good idea to get up a game of poker to pass the time away. There were only three in our party who cared to play, so we invited two strangers in. There was no limit, and by and by the game became hot and highly in- teresting. Cards came my way, and I was a good $100 win- ner. Then came one of the incidents of my life, one that I'll not be apt to forget for some time to come, I picked up my cards to find that I had four jacks, there was raising and re- raising and betting to a considerable extent before the draw, and I found that I had nearly $200 of my good money in the pot. In drawing cards one player stood pat, another took two cards and I one, the other two players stayed out. Then the betting started off livelier than ever. The first player started off with $100, the second went over him $100, and I went over both $100, and then came the climax. The second player took out a roll of money and not only called us down, but put in $600 over us. Well I was in a fix; I had only $300 left, but I felt that I had the winning hand, so I took off my ear-rings that I had paid $500 for and offered them for the balance. They were accepted. The first player could only raise $150 of the $600 raised, so he called sight for the amount he had in the pot. Then came the show-down. The first player had an. ace full, the second player four kings, and I, well, my four jacks, my $900 and my diamond ear-rings were all in the same boat. That cured me of poker or any other game of chance, I have not played cards for money since and never will again." If you don't believe this story, blame Miss Lewis, 224 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. Sandow, the strong man, can hold a soubrette on each little finger and take twenty per cent, of the gross with his left hand without the aid of a net. A Cincinnati author has a drama in which a locomotive blows up and kills the engineer and fireman. Pieces of the latter will be distributed to the audience as souvenirs. The risks are great in the show biz, but there is more money to he made on the capital invested than in any other line of business. When you do hit it you are liable to hit it bard. Did you ever know why the hair does not grow on the heads of some of the men you see on the front seats? It is because some of them are dead-heads. Nothing will grow on a dead-head. Why is it that in nine cases out of ten in our stage plays the woman who is talked about as being the handsomest of her sex, is generally played by a female who is old and ugly enough to chew hay? CosGKOVE AND Geant ofiered Maggie Cline $200 a week to go with "The Dazzler." She said $300 and no one night stands. John Cosgrove gave her his bank, and Sandy Grant sent her a deed to aU his real estate in Lawrence, Mass. An actor had to make a leap for life to get aboard one of our street cars the other day, and as he landed the con- ductor puUed the bell as usual. My actor friend says "he does that to notify the driver that you got on without break- ing your neck." PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 22$ Some actors can play ten bar-rooms in one night better than "Ten Nights in a Bar-room." Bobby Gayloe is said to try all his new songs and "gags" on his landlady in New York before he gives them to the public. The poor old lady is pretty -weak. Did you ever notice that soubrettes never grow old? They remain the same, even in advanced years they have the same smUe, the same wiggle, and the same blonde wig. When the papers said that Salvini and his manager, Billy Wilkinson, had bought a fruit ranch in California, one of the boys on the Bialto said, "It's a mistake, it's a fruit stand over on Sixth avenue." Was told the other day of a serio-comic who went out to supper with a well-known gambler of this city. He wanted her to order some wild duck but she refused, saying "She never ate game with a gambler." Mes. John Deew saw her daughter Mrs. Barrymore act in New York recently, and some one asked her what the veteran actress said, "She didn't say anything,'' said Mrs. Barrymore calmly, "I suppose she was afraid that if she did I'd be send- ing congratulatory telegrams to myself." When an actor makes a hit in Japan they throw on the stage some article of wearing apparel. It is said that a hand- some young Japanese actor recently made a tremendous hit with the ladies, and they expressed the admiration so forcibly that many of them went home in their artless Japanese ways, clad in smiles and rouge. 226 TICKINGS FROM. LOBBY CHATTER. RiCHAED Mansfield got quite mad the other day when on being introduced to a prominent citizen of Detroit as an actor, he was asked if he did a song and dance business. You will scarcely find an actor who has not brains and intelligence enough to earn a comfortable living in a commer- cial life and have a home, but they prefer the stage with all its discomforts and hardships. It has always been a mystery to me why this is thus. A good story is told on Billy Gorman, in advance of the "Danger Signal" Company: It is customary for the agent to look up the hotel rates and send them back to the company. Being in a hurry in a certain one night stand, Billy asked the rates of the local manager. Imagine the surprise of several • members of the company on applying for accommodations at one of the hotels sent back to learn that the hotel had been turned into a Keeley Institute. The local manager had giv- en the old rates, forgetting the change at the time. Now Billy makes the rounds of the hotels himself. A young blood of this city who prides himself on his good clothes and the headlight he wciars in his tie, and on his great powers as a masher, a fellow who curies his mustache, parts his hair in the middle and uses powder like a real girl, is the hero of this little story. He was introduced to an actress play- ing here last week and waited on her to supper. During the repast she said: "I'll bet I can tell what business you are in." "What do you think?" said he and smiled his sweetest. "You are either a jockey or a tin-horn gambler." Then his smile and hie appetite both left him and he hurried her to the hotel. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 227 Bad actors like mules never die. Only the bright lights of the profession disappear. Have you noticed that the last act of a bad play is always the best because it is nearest the end? Let us move to Russia. "Uncle Tom's Cabin" has been forbidden there. Oh ! Blessed land. Did you ever notice that most all the dancers and high kickers have such large mouths? Why is this? Aftek the actors and actresses quarrel, it is natural that they should go to their dressing rooms to make up. The surest way for an actor to advertise himself is to com- mit suicide, but then the "ad" will not do him much good. Isn't there too much mechanical management in the show business at the present day and not (snough personal attention and individual knowledge of the business? Funny John Gilbert, the comedian, springs this one: "I was at a show some time ago," said he, "sitting next to a very tough mug. The comedian on the stage was exceedingly tart and I noticed that the tough mug eyed him with but little favor. Finally the tough mug tried to get a quarter into the nickle in the slot opera glass case near his seat. What are you trying to do, I ventured to ask my tough neighbor, got an opera glass? ' No,' the tough mug answered, eyeing the rank comedian on the stage with a knowing look, 'I'm look- ing for a gun.'" 228 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. Did you ever hear of other women losing diamonds like actresses? What a careless lot they must be, and do they really lose them? Sometimes some people doubt it. When a one-man show can draw a two-thousand-dollar audi- ence, there is some money being made. Bob IngersoU does it often and he does not carry any ballet or special scenery. He just carries a great big brain and a few lithographs. They tell the story of a star actor who has a tailor for a brother, and every male member of his company, according to the story, has to dress exactly like the star. Of course the aforesaid star has his clothes made by the brother. This neces- sitates every member of the company ordering their suits of clothes from the same source. Great head that actor's got. They have a hotel, in Pittsburgh run and patronized by circus people. They do not enjoy the luxury of bell-boys. An actor who stopped there recently woke up one morning with a dry throat and wanted some ice water. He rang his bell twenty times, but no attention was paid to it. A happy idea struck him, he went out to the head of the stairway and yelled "Hey, Kube!" In one minute every man in the house was on the floor with a club. , Bob Miles attended a performance ot " Ingomar" at the old Academy, Cleveland, Ohio, many years ago, when the audience was composed of exactly seven people, of the seven two were dead-heads. Bob and a friend. Charles Foster was the "Ingomar" and Miss Effie EUsler the "Parthenia;" and Bob told me that it was the best performance of the play he ever witnessed, either before or since. No one guyed and all did their best, just as if the house was packed to the walls. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 289 A manager told me recently that if 'Bob Ingereoll is sincere in his belief that there is no hell, he ought to try and run a farce-comedy company and see how quick he would change his mind. The agent who substituted the Maltese cat for the rabbit at a performance given by the great and only Herrmann, when he endeavors to make the audience believe he has caused the ' aforesaid agent to swallow a rabbit, can never expect recog- nition from him in any particular. Spf.akinG' of treasurers recalls the fact that an actor, last week in this city struck and knocked down his treasurer. We have known treasurers to be "touched" before, but this is the first case on record where the touch was heavy enough to floor him. The actor must have wanted a, hundred. , A colored woman who has been doing the washing for the actresses at one of our theaters the past week, showed up at the house the other evening with a very comfortable "jag." Every actress in the building cut off a piece of her wool and they are carrying it in their stockings for luck. This is a superstition of the stage that is supposed to be a sure thing. Bob Miles was playing Alice Oates through- the south one winter. One evening the house was crowded and the perform- ance was going on with great vim. About the middle of the second act of "Mme. Angot" a man came in the door and yelled, "it's snowing." Immediately there was almost a panic and in a few minutes there was no one in the house but the actors, as the audience was out playing in the snow like a lot of young kids. It was the first snow storm in that country in twenty years. 230 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. I have a friend who has a son on the stage. Some one asked him if the young man was a star and he said "he thought he ought to be as he was a great hand to stay out all night.'' Met the treasurer of a dramatic company last week, who reported as follows: "If it hadn't rained on me at Wadds- ville I would have played to $900. I turned 'em away nightly last week, and I, stood 'em up at every performance in Lamp- wick." I asked him why he didn't get in out of the rain and secure the $900, also if he was giving a monologue perform- ance? I see George W. Thompson shows up "to-day with Katie Emmett. He is the man who rushed into the sleeping car after every one had retired, and in a loud fog-horn voice asked the porter if "he had seen anything of that pet snake that had es- caped from his box? It was perfectly harmless when caged, but freedom made a demon of the aforesaid snake." Thompson got no further than that, the thirty-two passengers were hang- ing onto the bell-rope by this time and those who had given up good money to Mr. Pullman went forward to the smoker. Sol Smith Kussell told me a good one. His uncle, Sol Smith managed a St. Louis theater for years. One evening two of his friends, both with a "jag," asked for passes which were given them. They left at the close of the second act, getting checks from the doorkeeper. Two years afterwards they showed up again with the same old "jag," presented their checks, which of course were refused. Sol Smith was appealed to and he passed them in. It happened that the play was the same as that which had been running on their former visit. They took it in for a few minutes, when one of them got out of his seat and said: "Come on Bill, d — n if that piece is over yet." PICKINGS From lobby chatter. 231 A •well-known manager had a benefit tere last season and sent his tickets all over the country. Among those who re- ceived ten was Jake Tannenbaum, of the Southern circuit. He answered: "All right, received the tickets; will credit you with ten dollars." Lillian Lewis, the well-known emotional actress, says "that the only standard of acting is fashion." Right you are. Miss Lewis, and the sooner some of our managers and star actors tumble to this fact the better for their pocketbooks. The time is past when you can educate the public by stage or pulpit. The people know what they want and you must give them the article they are willing to pay for. If it's their taste to see girls in tights kick up their heels, instead of witnessing mad tragedians chew scenery, that's their business, and it's the busi- ness of wide awake managers to furnish the material that is in demand or make room for some one who can do so. In the old-time days, John Green was manager of the Memphis Theater. One evening the bill was "Coriolanus.'' When the curtain rose there was not a person in front except the ushers. Mark Smith, father of the now popular singer, and Sam Chester were the first to make their entrance, and taking in the situation. Smith borrowed a violin from the or- chestra leader and said : " Sam, give us a jig," striking up " McGowan's reel." As Sam was jigging. Manager Green came to the prompt entrance wild with rage and rang down the cur- tain. He was told there was no one in front, but was not ap- peased, and fined the actors a week's salary. Before long, peo- ple straggled in and the receipts showed about $60. Gus Pennoyer told me the above story, and he was the prompter of the theater at the time. Gus is now treasurer for Boland Reed. 232 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. A professional pianist who combs his hair has been dis- covered in France. At one of our theatrical boarding houses they had a sou- brette last week who, it is claimed, could eat three plates of hash without turning a hair. Snitz Edwards has at last given up betting on the races. He got himself together the other day and ruled one Snitz Edwards off of every race track and pool room in the country. Lee Harrison writes me from New York: "Laborers are tearing up the streets all over town, which makes it bad" for the actors here, as you know the policemen won't let them stand on the sidewalks." I have received twenty letters from as many advance agents asking me to deny the rumor that they threw the bomb at Russell Sage. They enclosed me copies of their last expense account to prove that they are still alive. An actor who is on the road a great deal said to me: "WhUe they are trying to pass a law compelling doctors to write prescriptions in English, they should pass another com- pelling landlords to have their menu cards printed in English. A person might possibly know then what he was eating.'' John E^rnelx, and Charlie Tennis met on Broadway the other day, and this is what happened: "What are you doing, Charley?" "The best I can." "Go hire Maggie Cline and you can do better." And the ship sailed on Yum Kipper. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 233 A well-known actor was entertained by the Pendennis Club in Louisville, and a Policeman's club in Cincinnati. The salary of the average actor is about $40 per week, out of this comes all his expenses but railroad fares, he even has to buy his stage costumes. Besides this, he has three or four idle months during the year, and yet every one is anxious to go on the stage. Ddeing the performance of "My Official Wife," at the Grand last Monday evening, in the last act, where Mr. Cutting draws a knife and is about to kill his wife, a young man in the audience remarked: "There will be some tall Cutting done here in a minute." Paul JDeessee, the heavy-weight comedian whose escapades have furnished amusement for the public for a long time, seems continually to land from one scrape into another. In Dubuque, Iowa, the past week, Mr. Dresser thought his pants would be greatly improved by a pressing process. So ringing his bell at the hotel, he proceeded to send a bell-boy to a tailor's shop. Toward dusk a boy was sent for the pants who returned without them, the tailor having closed his jla.ce and gone home. Now, here was a dilemma, Dresser only had one pair of pants, and his weight and build precluded the possi- bility of fitting him unless he stumbled on a member of a fat man's club somewhere. His non-appearance at the theater meant the dismissal of a crowded house, which alarmed the manager, Mr. Edward J. Abram, who insisted on Dresser throwing on a wrap of some kind and riding in a hack to the theater. At the last moment he was compelled to do this. Dresser wore his stage pants to the hotel, and bright and early hunted up his tailor who received a scorching he will not for- get in some time. 434 PICKINGS PROM LOBBY CHATTER. I am afraid I can't enjoy a circus performance in a theater sitting in a comfortable seat. It is the hard board seats that make the circus so enjoyable. There are five successful women theatrical managers in London. Somehow or other the female manager does not catch on in this country. Perhaps she's too stingy with the passes. As a well-known saloon keeper was strolling along Fourth street yesterday, his elaborate make-up caused a lady who was passing to ask her husband who he was. "My dear, he is the man I have to go out to see between the acts when I go to the theater." During the engagement of the " Tar and Tarter" at Pal- mer's Theater, New York, a Jersey hayseed walked up to the box oifice and demanded a seat for ten cents. "You can't go in here for ten cents," said Treasurer McKeever. "How much?" inquired the hayseed. "The price is one doUai: and fifty cents, but you can go up in the gallery for fifty cents." "What are they playing up there?" asked the hayseed. It is not generally known that Francis Wilson is a collector of rare books, but such is the case. His special hobby is to collect anything he can lay his hands on pertaining to Napoleon Bonaparte. He has a number of autograph letters of Napoleon, and no end of portraits and engravings, some of which are very rare. Mr. Wilson's aim is to gather a complete collection of all books printed in America that relate to that remarkable man. Portraits, letters and relics of George Washington also brings delight to the comedian's heart. His collection of books, pictures and other articles pertaining to the truthful George is worth a little fortune in itself. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 235 I have just found out what the private boxes in most thea- ters are good for, make all the women with big hats go into them. What a burlesque some people make of singing. You will find comedians in comic opera with about as much voice as an old pet poodle dog. Colonel Sinn, the jolly Brooklyn manager, says "it cost him $24,000 trying to make a successful star of his wife, Cora Tanner, and he knows when he has hit the limit." THfeY are telling a good one on one of our managers who is absent-minded at times. "He thought the other day that he had left his watch at home and pulled it out and took a look at it to see if he would have time to go back after it." Several well-known chronic dead-heads held a meeting last week and prepared an address to the Managers' Association objecting to an early closing of the theatrical season. They say it will be a long, dull summer and they must have amuse- ments. Another kick they have is that when they write for a pass they are expected to send stamps for reply. This is downright robbery. • Gus Pennoyer, who was for many seasons with Lotta as manager, writes : "Little Lotta, the actress, had at one time a fad in the shape of a desire to visit the jails and prisons in each town or city where her professional duties might call her, and the first question she would ask of the warden would be : 'Have you an actress or an actor confined here?' And in the four years that I was her manager, and accompanying her on such visits, I never heard the question answered in the afiirm- ative." 236 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. I heard a young lady at the matinee at the Grand last Wednesday remark: "Men should not go to matinees, I hate a matinee man." Some of the boys had evidently made her raise from her seat between acts as they went out to get an ApoUinaris. The old style of ballet dancing has gone completely out of vogue. It's nothing but gymnastics now, and the girl who can't stand on her head and put both of her feet in her mouth at the same time while she is doing her dance, doesn't stand a ghost of a show nowadays. Now that nearly all the members of the prize ring have gone on the stage, would it not be a good idea for some of our old-time actors to become prize fighters? There is big money in the business, besides its only once in a great while that you'll be called on for actual work. Spencee Cone, agent for Kate Claxton, cut up a German newspaper in strips and gave it to the star, who complimented him highly on such efficient press work, presenting him with a gold-headed umbrella. An hour later, when the leader of the orchestra unraveled them and found out it was all about a riot in Holland, the fair Katherine fined herself two dollars for being alive. ^ •A. Scandinavian trombone player named Berwiski, in the Ft. Wayne orchestra, fell heir to over 23,000 piasters by the death of an uncle at Kalatski, a weU-known one night stand in Sweden. On account of such good luck the members of his band went around to serenade him, on the way they fig- ured it up and found it only amounted to $14.60 in our money, and they immediately went on a strike and fired him out of the orchestra. PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 237 It is reported in seeial circles that Lee Harrison will have the fan privilege on the Casino Roof, New York, next winter. They have an amateur actress in Boston who wants to be a professional, and her name is Hamm. You will have to change that, Sissy, or go into the variety business. The girls who think Kyrle Bellew so handsome and think his name so pretty, will be shocked to learn that his right name is Higgins, plain Higgins, or as his English friends call him, "'Iggins.'' An exchange says: "A St. Bernard dog, a jackass and a tank have been added to the attraction of 'Down on a Farm.'" The most important article is still left out, for what is a farm without a grindstone. Baeney Ferguson, favorably known through "McCarthy's Mishaps," is quite a character in his way. It seems that when anything goes wrong he, like a great many other stars, blame everything on his agent. John W. Eansome relates an amus- ing anecdote which happened in Meriden, Conn., the past season. Barney and John went out rather late that night and overslept themselves the following morning. Bansome was the first to appear, and rushing up to the clerk said: "Give me my bill. I don't want breakfast as my train leaves in ten minutes across the way." "Why," said the clerk, "you can't make that train, it leaves from the other depot, which is fully a mile off." Hardly had he finished speaking before along rushes Bar- ney Ferguson, who went over identically the same conversation. Upon being told that the train left at the other depot, Barney became indignant and said: "That's it, that's it! That is Joe Kenney's fault!" Joe is Barney's agent. 238 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. When an actor pulls out a pawn ticket to see what time it is you may know he has passed a tough summer. Jack Geeig, in advance of Newton Beers' new comedy, "Eloped with a Circus Girl," arrived in Piqua just in time to see the Opera House burn down. He wired Punch Wheeler, the manager, what to do. Wheeler immediately replied: "I express you to-day a new trowel and a bill-trunk full of mortar, please rebuild the theater by Friday as we never can- cel a date, besides, the company is too expensive to lose a night." Some of the press agents in their desperate aim to get in their work send in a lot of rot about the social standing of their respective stars. That's all bosh, boys, . it's only when an actress or actor has achieved wonderful success on the stage that society recognizes her or him, and at this stage of the game, the actress or actor has good reason to care very little about society and her whims. It's only the small fry of the profession that chase after a social standing. "Talking about the intelligence some one-night local mana- gers possess," wrote George A. Kingsbury, agent of the "Stow away" Company. "The manager of the Opera House at Fargo took me back on the stage to show me that while he could not put on 'Sinbad or Ali Baba,' he could put on a very heavy show. I asked him where the dressing rooms were and how many he had. 'Here it is,' he said, pointing to a rather dingy looking room. I asked him where the others were, and he said 'he had no more.' Well, I said, you don't suppose that ladies and gentlemen of my company are going to dress in the same room, do you? 'What's the matter, don't they speak?' said he," PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 239 Now that the sluggers are all becoming actors, will the actors become buggers? At one of the San Francisco theaters a good rule is in force. People coming in during the progress of an act are not ushered to their seat until its termination. Every theater in the country should adopt the same rule. The people who arrive on time should not be disturbed by the tardy ones. The majority of the latter make a point to be late so as to cause a sensation. Bartholomew's Equine Paradox appeared in one of the smaller towns in New York State recently, and one of the native's went down to see the car unloaded. As it happened the horses had already been sent to the theater, and when the native arrived only a couple of dogs came out of the car. Upon going up town and meeting a friend who asked him if he had seen the Equine Paradox he made this reply : "Well, I saw a pair of dogs (paradox), but I didn't see the equine." There was a supposed drummers' picnic at Coney Island recently and the crowd was very large. At 4 p. m. one of the managers of Coney Island arrived on the ground and dis- covered that not a commercial traveler, or as the bill an- nounced chevalier of the road, was to be found in aU the vast throng. This would never do, some of the newspaper boys might get on to the fact and guy the picnic. It was decided to capture at least one drummer and have hira on the ground, and George Turner was sent to the city to make the capture. He returned about 7 o'clock, having with him a little bow- legged, sawed-off German. "What it is?" said the manager. "All I could find," said George, "he's the drummer for Swie- bels' Band pf Pelhi." And the air was blue in streaks. 24° PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. A young friend of mine who is very fond of the society of soubrettes, tells me "they are as false as their lithographs; Poor boy, with age he will know more. I can't understand why managers have their passes printed to read "admit one." A genuine dead-head would feel gravely insulted if he were not given a pass for two. On amateur night at the museum recently, an elderly fe- male, whose face would wreck a freight train, sang "Will Birdie Love Me." I don't know Birdie, but feel safe in saying that he will not. Here is a joke told by E. A. Sothern: "During his en- gagement with John McCuUough, the route on one occasion lay in a remote section of Texas. Arriving at the town which was billed for a performance of 'Ingomar,' the stage manager was horrified by receiving a telegram stating that on account of an accident the costumes, which had been left behind in the last town to be forwarded by express, would not arrive until the following day. The manager was dumbfounded. ' Ingomar' had to play that night according to the announce- ment, and the supernumeraries had to be clothed in hides ac- cording to tradition, finally, as the only way out of his diffi- culty, the manager went to every butcher's shop in town and hired all the sheep-skins and cow-hides that were to be had to dress his supes in. When John McCuUough made his entrance on the stage that evening, he was at once astonished and appalled by the stench proceeding from the hastily im- provised costumes worn by his barbaric supporters. 'You neither look, talk nor act like barbarians,' he growled indig- nantly after the curtain fell, 'but, by G — d, you smell like them.'" PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 24I Lillian Kussell's press agent says her salary averages $1300 a week. Does she give any of it to her agent? Some of the girls in the May B>UBsell show are pretty fat, and their appearance in tights causes Bob Monroe to remark "that they ought to wear corsets on their calves." A ballet girl lives forever; like a mule, she never dies. But the average life of a chorus girl is only five years, the awful strain on her mouth is what shortens her career on earth. There is a soubrette in New York who thinks a great deal of George Welty. When asked why she thought so much of the genial George, she replied "that he was so good to her when she was sick in Chicago. He bought her a box of bon- bons." A manager in New York recently wrote his star, who was summering in Mt. Clements, for money to defray the booking expenses. The actor sent him two dollars with a letter telling him he could buy one hundred stamps for that. The manager replied: "Many thanks, but I can't eat stamps." A friend of mine who at times falls into a poetic mood, sends me the following: If you want to succeed as an actor. You must be a pugilist; Learn to strike out from the shoulder. And play hard with your fist. Then if you knock your man out, All the world is at your feet; With money and fame to cheer you, While you live on easy street, 242 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. A Western manager recently deserted his company, beating every one. He even beat the bass drum just before be left. John T. Kelly says an actress who always shows her teeth on the stage is "a dental soubrette," and an actresses' husband who makes trouble in a company is a "prop." Phil Irving, now managing Katherine Rober, has been a showman for twenty-five years, and although he looks like a well preserved man of 40, he is 57 years old. He commenced as agent for Joe Murphy in San Francisco, and has been at it ever since. Phil is a worker. The real cause of Hugh Fay and John Kernell's trouble about not going out with "After thfe Ball" has just leaked out. James Lederer wrote to Hugh Fay at Mt. .Clemens asking him to send on some money to boom the show, and Fay enclosed him a five-dollar bill and a letter saying "Get five more from Kernell and whoop her along." Lederer and Kernell had the five photographed and sent Fay a proof of it; took $250 each and went to the World's Fair and spent every cent of it. Terrible. A party of friends were discussing about the State of Michi- gan at the Hofiinan House, New York, the other night. They could not agree on one point, and decided to leave it to the first stranger who passed their table. It happened to be "Mc- Phee of Dublin," John T. Kelly. They asked him to decide it. "Gentlemen," replied Kelly, "you can't prove it by me. There are only two things I know about Michigan; one is you must give ninety days notice before you can draw your money out of a bank, and the other there is no capital punishment in the State." PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 243 One of our Western serio-comics fell on the stage and broke her voice, and now she wants the manager to put her on in a thinking song. Seveeal of the new plays have for a sensational scene the tapping of a telegraph wire on the stage. A Cincinnati author expects to excel them all in his play, a keg of beer will be tapped and the audience will stand in. There is no audience so easy for actors to play before as a theatrical one. The actors and actresses are generous in their applause if the play be worthy, and even if it is not. They are outspoken in their criticisms some times, but are generally fair. At the hour of midnight this -season, the comedians will gather at Andy's and sing the following: Andy Gilligan sat on the back yard fence, Talking to his neighbor's sisters; A cyclone of wind swept by the place, But never touched his whiskers. John Kelly, "the rolling-mill man," was recently filling an engagement at the Lyceum, Chicago, and one evening, while a little "under the fluence," he walked over to a private box, in which was seated a man with a long beard. He looked at him a moment, and said: "Old boy, those lace curtains are beauts." The audience hissed, and Kelly asked: "Who are you hissing — me or him?" At another time, as he walked on the stage, he said: "I'm dead sore to-night. This house isn't good enough for me; I ought to be at McVicker's." "That's a scab "house," yelled a boy in the gallery. "Now I know I'm sore," said Kelly. 244 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. Good printing on the walk has carried many a poor show to financial success. Feanz Ebeet, the tiny comedian of the Liliputians, drinks cocktails, smokes cigarettes and carries on a correspondence with susceptible maidens. He is a high roller in every sense of the word. "Gbimes' Cellar Door" was being played lately on a one night stand. On the bottom of the house programme appeared the following: "Si Perkins' dirty linen, (over 1,000 pieces) was washed by us. Why can't we do the same for you ? laundry." John T. Kelly, of the "Twentieth Century Girl" Com- pany, hails from South Boston. He made his first appearance on the stage in Boston, and invited his mother and father to see the show, buying for them two good front row seats. He sung for the first time on that evening his first hit, entitled: "My Father Sold Charcoal, and That "Was the Cause of It." The next day he called on his parents to see how they enjoyed the performance. His father was out, and his mother greeted him as follows, after him asking "how did you like my per- formance?" "Oh, John! John! John! You have disgraced us forever. It wasn't bad enough to think that aU the clothes you had on your back as that Irishwoman were mine, and stolen from me, and every eye in the theater was on your father and mother, but you had further to disgrace us by yel- ling at the top of your voice that your father sold charcoal, and that was the cause of you being there, when you know well enough, John, he was an honest, hard working blacksmith. We will never get over it. Your father and I left the theater after the first act. It was our first visit to 'the playhouse, and it will be our last." PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 24S Wonder if Warden James, of the Columbus Penitentiary, can be the same Warde and James we had at the Walnut Street Theater last season? An actor friend of mine, who is just out after quite a siege of illness, says he has been sufiering from a "tramp" liver. The latter refused to work. Because she had an "angel" is why several of our actresses have become well known, and to be an angel for an actress he must be able to light his cigars with ten-dollar bills. He must keep the money flowing in to his star, for as soon as the flow stops, no more actresses. A good many years ago John Morrissey did a specialty for the first time in a Philadelphia variety theater. It was quite a go. After he went to his dressing room he was visited by the editor of a weekly paper, who said to him : " Mr. Morrissey, I am the editor of the Philadelphia , and I want to tell you that your act is one of the best I have ever seen in a variety theater." John was profuse in his thanks, and told the aforesaid editor that he hoped he meant what he said. "Most certainly I mean it, my dear boy, and I will say the same in the next issue of the Philadelphia , and' it will only cost you $3." John said he was sorry that he couldn't put up the $3, as he had been out of an engagement for some time, and the editor made a hasty exit. When the Philadelphia came out on the following Saturday it contained this squib: "John Morrissey, a Cincinnati ham, is at the theater, and is the rottenest performer ever seen in the building." 245 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. Heard an actor say the other day that a man seldom gets tired of drinking, although drinking often makes him weary. There is one sure thing about the Jersey Lily — or I might say, two. If she is not a great actress she has a great diamond necklace and a great poodle dog. Meeting Fritz Buchman the other day recalled the time when he managed the old Coliseum Theater, on the site of which was built the present Heuck's Opera House. Fritz was eccentric, but he and I were always good friends and got along splendidly. He was quite jealous of the then Heuck's Opera House, now the People's. He did not read English very well at that time, but would look at the papers every morning to see which house would have the largest notice, Heuck's or the Coliseum. One morning he sent for his stage manager, Jim Edwards, and, with a copy of the Enquirer in his hand, said: "Gim, vat de devil vas de matter mit Al Tare. He gif Heuck's a long notice and us only a little one ? " "That's all right," said Jim, "he says our show is good, and gives the show at Heuck's a scorching." "I don't vast gif a dam," Fritz says, "Tell Al to give us h — 1 too, so he makes the notices yust so long as Heuck's. I vant de' same chance as dem fellars git." They produced quite a number of lurid dramas at the Coli- seum one season and there was a big bill for red fire. Fritz said to his manager one morning: "Gim, try some of dem green red fire; maybe it's sheaper." One more and I will let up on my friend Fritz. Harry Richmond, now dead, was to be the coming star and the boys were placing his lithographs in the entrance to the theater. As I strolled in Fritz said: "Al, I'll bet he is a goot actor fellow. Look vat a pig diamond pin he vears." PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 247 The Kendalls have sold out their interest in their cordage factory in England. The main object of the factory was to produce string to be used upon the American public. A lady applied to one of our managers for a pass last week, and said she would reciprocate some time, as her hus- band owned a marble yard, and she could get rates on tomb- stones. " Let's go over and play the races to-morrow,'' said Bert Riddle, of "The Bainmakers,'' to George Baker yesterday. "Well, let's," said George. "What will we play?" "Lunch — 12 to 1," was what Riddle riddled Baker with. She gave him a terrible Minneapolis glance as he said: "Darling, I will not take you to see 'The Grand Duchess.' The ladies appear in tights and show their figures.'' "It isn't the ladies' figures you care about," she said; "ifs the figures on the two-dollar bills that you wUl have to put up for seats that is bothering you." A party of theatrical men were standing in front of the Grand Opera House yesterday discussing the current afiairs in the dramatic world, when some one made the remark (I think it was Joe Buckley): "Why is it that Richard Mansfield is always called Mr. Mansfield and not Dick or Mansfield? We speak of Joseph Jefferson as Jefferson, Stuart Robson as Rob- son, Nat Goodwin as Nat and so on with all the rest, but it is always Mr. Mansfield." The party turned to Frank Slocum, who is here representing Mr. Mansfield, and who was naturally supposed to reply. "The only answer I can offer," said Slo- cum, "is that Mr. Mansfield is always so extremely courteous to others that his treatment necessarily compels others to be particularly respectful to him." 248 PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. One of the strict rules of Kiohard Mansfield's Garrick Theater, in New York, is that all attaches of the house shall assemble upon the stage every day at noon, and as Mr. Mans- field approaches the center of the stage they shall sing "Nearer, My God, To Thee." A well-known dramatic agent in New York recently re- ceived a telegram from his brother in Chicago, to the efiect that a business man in the latter town had $10,000 to invest in the show business. The agent replied: "Tell him to send $5,000 to me immediately and to keep the balance, and he will be the only outsider who has ever made money in the theatrical business.'' Papa Chappell, "Elmer E. Vance's hired man," to quote from his card, carries a graphophone (an up-to-date talking machine) with which he sings the praises of his "boss" and his great play, "The Limited Mail," thus saving much lung power and avoiding those modest blushes, which will, etc. Here's the latest selection given by the machine, the dia- logue being given in sound signals, familiar to expert tele- graphers, and greatly enjoyed by the craft, every sound being given properly: "Elmer E. Vance, formerly a lightning slinger of Colum. bus, O., and Beatrice Conroy, a member of his Limited Mail Company, were married at Camden, N. J., and immediately after the ceremony took the 'Limited* for New York. " The bridal couple took a seat quietly, but attention was drawn to them in rather an odd way — by telegraphic signals. "Two young men, who sat opposite each other across the aisle, were making remarks about them by ticking with their pocket knives on the metal arm of the seat. " 'Sweet ss a peach, isn't she?' ticked ofi" the young man whose seat was immediately behind the new arrivals. PICKINGS FROM, LOBBY CHATTER' 249 "'You bet,' replied the other, 'bridal couple, evidently.' " 'How on earth do you suppose a spectacled chump like that managed to catch such an angel?' " 'Give it up; she surely couldn't see anything in him to admire.' " 'Her lips were just made for kisses.' " 'That's right, my boy.' "'Say!' "'Well?' "'When the train gets into the next tunnel I'm going to reach over and kiss her.' " 'You wouldn't dare.' "'Yes, I would; she'd think I was her husband, you know.' "Their telegraphic conversation ceased here, for the bride- groom had taken out his pocket-knife and commenced to tick off this message on the arm of the seat : " 'When the train gets to the next tunnel the spectacled chump proposes to reach over and hammer your two heads to- gether until your teeth drop out. Savvy?' " Soon after that two passengers might have been seen sneaking off to the smoking car. And they remained in the smoker, not only while the train went through the tunnel, but until the conductor shouted: 'Jersey City; all out.'" She was warbling in her sweetest concert hall style "I would not live always," when a rude, nasty man, with a load of beer on, yelled: "You've come pretty near it, old gaJ." He laughed hoarsely as the bouncer threw him out. Lee Haekison, the bright and clever comedian who is tackling "St. Julian" in "A Temperance Town," is the hus- band of the great premiere Clara Qualtz, who ia now touring Europe, and writing letters to Lee with a lead pencil because bis mother-in-law doesn't like him. 2SO PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. When a sketch team separate, the male of the team speaks of the female thusly: "Cull, I lost my meal ticket." An actor very seldom lives at his home when he plays a city where his father and mother are. The only reason is, he says, he doesn't like "home cooking." Theo. Petit, so many years the "officer" of the Enquirer, and who is known to many professionals, was at one time the special officer of the "Old Nash" on Sycamore street, and you bet the boys knew he was there. John Davis, manager of Robinson's Opera House, opened a dramatic agency in this city in 1861. John didn't know much about the business, but that cut no solidified water. The first order was from John McDonough, of "Seven Sisters" fame. It was to send to Lexington one old man and one chambermaid. Davis got the former from the Old Men's Home and the latter from the old Spencer House. McDonough came to Cincinnati for the express purpose of killing Davis, but the latter kept out of the way until Mac adjourned. A show recently appeared at Hot Springs, Ark., to a large audience, and at the close of the first act the manager of the company was greatly discouraged, as there was not a hand or a foot worked in the way of applause, and, going to the house manager, he said: "Well, they don't appear to like us." "Oh, yes, they do," was the reply.; "your show has made a big hit." "Then why don't they demonstrate it," asked the manager, "by giving the actors some encouragement in the way of applause?" "How the can they? They've all got the rheumatism." PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. 251 Lee Harrison received a letter from hia mother yesterday saying "business in Chicago will be great for 'A Temperance Town,' as Aunt and Uncle will be here from Kansas, and if you send us six tickets we will all go to the opening night." E. O. McCoRMiCK, of the Big Four R. R., wrote to a cir- cus friend for the use of a small tent for a little fishing tour. When the tent arrived it was found to be the one the Barnum show used last [season and would seat 10,000 people. Mac wilted. At the last benefit William Mestayer had in New York Hank Johnson coutited up the house, then went back into Mestayer's dressing-room. "Well," exclaimed Mestayer, "how did it pan out?" "Great!" said Johnson, "we only lost $35. It's the best we ever had." Al Fields, the popular comedian and all-round good fel- low, got off the train at a station one day last week, and going up to the lunch stand said: "Give me that pie, I'm sorry for it and I want it. It was out on this counter last season when I passed through here and I don't want it to be lonesome any longer." The proprietor said "all right. I knew we'd sell it some time to one of you show fellars." An actor tells me he heard the following conversation between two old soldiers while he was playing at the Dayton Soldiers' Home. "Did you fight at the battle of Bull Run?" "I did." "And did you run?" "You bet your life I run, and those that didn't are there yet." 25* PICKINGS FROM LOBBY CHATTER. Ellen Beach Yaw has gone to Europe, and it is to be hoped that she will change that name before she returns. Do you say "Yaw" to this, Ellen? People wonder why so many cross-eyed people. The three- ring circuses cause it. They try to see all the show at the same time and the result — "off eyes." They have a theatrical boarding house in New York, near Union Square, kept by a Mrs. Settle. The boys like her, but not the name. Speaking of boarding houses reminds me of one I heard of some years ago. They had hash three times a day, and on Sunday they mixed a few raisins in with the hash and put it in a pie pan and asked you if you would have some mince pie. If your bill was not settled Saturday evening they neglected to call you to dinner on Sunday. Those fresh serio-comica, who pick out some one in the audience and sing their "Georgie" and other tough songs at, and make a guy of him, should be suppressed. Some men will not have it. In Toronto recently the man picked out pulled an orange out of his pocket and caught the s. c. between the eyes, knocking her senseless. A lady, by mistake, one day last week, opened the door of the dressing room of the Nelson Sisters, at the Lagoon. The ladies had just donned their tights, and were quite on the "living picture" order. The lady started to apologize, when a friend who was with her said: "For goodness sake, shut that door. If our husbands get a peep in there we will not get them away from the Lagoon to-night." TIZB GIBSON HOUSE CINCINNATI'S PRE-EMINENT HOTEL, AND ONE OF THE 6REAT HOTELS OF THE WORLD. Qo/i\/nereial f[\eT) Sojouri? apd Qop^re^ate jiere. Its LooatioD is riglit in tlje very heart of the Business Eentre of ElBoinijati, 0. 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