m ^m IV FROM TH^ ! BENNO LOEWY LIBRARY COLLECTED BY BENNO LOEWY . , 1854-19-19 BEQUEATHED TO CORNELL UNIVERSITY CORNELL UNIVERSITY LIBRARY 3 1924 085 095 184 Cornell University Library The original of tiiis book is in tile Cornell University Library. There are no known copyright restrictions in the United States on the use of the text. http://www.archive.org/details/cu31924085095184 HUMBUGS OF NEW-YORK ; REMONSTRANCE POPULAR DELUSION; WSBTBEB IN SCIENCE, PHILOSOPHY, OR RELIGION. DAVID MEREDITH REESE, M. D. "An idol is nothing; and error is nothing^; but these nothings are the most dangerous things in the world." " He that is careful of himself was not made for the public." NEAV-YORK: JOHN S. TAYLOR, BRICK-CHUECH CHAPEL. BOSTON : WEEKS, JORDON & CO, 18 3 8. fi^.C^o^o'LS^ Entered according to the Act of Congress, in the year 1838, by JOHN S. TAYLOR, In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of Ihe United States, for the Southern District of New- York. THE CONSTITUTED GUARDIANS PUBLIC HEALTH, PUBLIC MORALS, AND PUBLIC PEACE ; AND E6PEG1A.LI.Y ffio all Knstvucters of "Sontti, THI3 HUMBLE ATTEMPT TO FURNISH A CORRECTIVE PREVAILING FANATICISM OP THE DAY, 19 RESPECTFULLT AND AFFECTIONATELY INSCRIBED BY THE AUTHOR. PREFACE. The quaint, and, in the estimate of fastidious critics, the vulgar term which is employed upon the title page of this work may, in the opinion of many readers, be exceptionable ; and by such, an apology for its use may be expected. While the partisans of each of the sects, — in science, philosophy, and reUgion, — which have been chosen for animadversion, may loudly protest against the profanation of their favourite study, or chosen occupation, by classifying it with the humbugs of the day. Believers in the " celestial science of Animal Magnetism,^! for example, will be shocked at the high handed wickedness of placing them on a level with the deluded victims of Ultra- Abolitionism; — while the dis- ciples of the latter delusion will be so outraged in their pious feel- ings, at being classed with the former, that they will anathematize the author, for having "named the two in the same day;" and still worse for having given their " hobby" so conspicuous a place in this gallery of humbugs. Indeed it is possible that those who have become the dupes of either of the impostures which are the subjects of the present volume, while they have not yet swallowed the rest, will admit the justice of the homely epithet by which all the others are designated, and only complain of its inappropriate- ness to themselves, or their creed. So that it is plain, from these and the like reflections, that in ushering this volume into the world, the author can expect little mercy, or quarter, from that portion of the public, who have already been ensnared among the victims of 1* VI PREFACE. the impostures upon popular credulity, -which he here reprobates, and condemns. Their fanaticism may be, and probably is, incu- rable by human means ; but it is with the uninitiated, and unso- phisticated portion of the community, — with the rising generation especially, — that he hopes to be successful, in preventing what he might otherwise fail to remedy. In explanation of the employment of the inelegant phrase, " hum- bug," as the qualifying epithet for each of the subjects herein de- scribed, the author would allege its singular appropriateness, and its conventional use ; as well as the authority of Noah Webster, that veteran lexicographer, who defines this word to signify " an imposture." By this latter synonyme, we understand any , system of science, philosophy, or religion, which "seems to be what it is not." And when such a system is found to "steal away men's brains," by ingenious sophisms and false logic ; or by its appeals to the corrupt and baser passions of the shallow thinkers, who abound in every community; or in any other way intoxicating the " weak sisters and female brethren," whose intellectual imbe- cility renders them an easy prey to delusion ; such an imposture is surely, by way of eminence, entitled to be called a humbug. The greater the sanctimonious pretensions of those who practise upon the popular credulity; — the louder their professions of su- perlative or exclusive humanity, philosophy, or religion ; — the more marvellous and supernatural the signs, wonders, and disco- veries, of which they proclaim themselves the inventors and pro- prietors, the more dangerous and mischievous they are to the pub- lic, and, the greater reason there is that they should be detected and exposed. But while each of the parties criticised in the present work may complain of being described as the dupes to their chosen humbug there are more who will be disappointed that so few species of the PREFACE. VU genus are named, out of the great multitude of reigning humbugs with which our city and country abounds. And to such the au- thor would say that he has only introduced a. few of the more prominent species 5 because neither his leisure, nor the limits of this single volume would suffice, for a more extended investiga- tion ; though he is aware that there are multiplied examples of popular delusion, which are perhaps equally entitled to animad- version, .and equally to be deprecated. He has, however, been careful to introduce the most successful, and the most mischievous among the reigning impostures ; — and especially those, to assault which requires either great moral courage, or entire indifference to personal vituperation. Of the former, the author is ashamed to confess, he has too little ; and for the goodly portion of the latter, which he has acquired, he is indebted to the experience he has de- rived by former conflicts with the votaries of some of these, and the like flagitious humbugs. And having here encountered the most formidable of the tribe, and exposed himself to the running fire of the whole phalanx of the most prominent impostors and their dupes ; when he shall have outlived their combined resent- ment, he may possibly gather time and strength for volume No. 2, in the same series, after volume No. I,, shall have done its work. Meanwhile should another and an abler hand extend favour to the benevolent object of this work, by expostulation with the American public against being devoured by imported fanaticism, and trans- atlantic humbug, such an author would, if successful, be indeed a public benefactor. He would deserve the thanks of every patriot, philanthropist, and Christian, throughout this land ; and he would recieve this reward from all such, as are not already engulphed in the vortex of popular frenzy and enthusiasm. The present humble effort, it is devoutly hoped, will contribute to encourage the preparation of a more ample and elaborate work, &om some of those statesmen, philosophers, philanthropists, or P R E F A C e- divines, whose names, ability, and influence, may commend their appeal to their countrymen, and restore the dominion of common sense, which may otherwise be annihilated by the desolatmg ten- dency of reigning delusion. Such a work would be worthy of the mightiest efibrt of the mightiest mind, among the wise and good of this land ; and the author will not have written in vain, if this result should follow ; and in such a case, he would find an abun- dant recompense, even if the feebleness and the imperfections of this little volume should prove the provocative to a wiser head and a better heart ; by enlisting his energies in the conflict with the frauds and impostures which overrun our beloved country, and which menace the overthrow of both reason and religion, from the popular creed and practice. CONTENTS. CHAPTER I, Introductory Obsertations. — Distinction between fanati- • ciam and its dupes — mistakes on this subject — frenzy of parti- sans — unwillingness to encounter it — complaints of persecution — ridicule, a lawful and potent weapon — rules for its use — dis- claimer of invidious personalities — reasons for selecting New- York — gullibility of its citizens — the impostors, Matthias, Fanny Wright, moon story, Crawcours, &c., — the same persons swallow- ing the whole — these humbugs, not indigenous but imported — the present a favourable time to gain the public attention — design of the author. CHAPTER II. Op Animal Magnetism. — Its origin in Germany — its repro- bation in France — discovery o( somnambulism — clairvoyance — its revival and spread through Europe — M. Delu^ — Perkins's tractors — introduction into America — Dr. Brigham — M. Poyen — Col. Stone — Mr. Durant, Miss Brackett, &c. — immoral ten- dencies of the humbug — Colquhoun's report — absurdities of sup- posing it to be true — abominable consequences. CHAPTER III. Of Phrenologt. — Its origin and claims to antiquity — doc- trines — deceptive title — causes which have prolonged its exist- ence — love of the marvellous — the anatomy of the skvll — brain — scalp — membranes, &c. — phrenological facts — not in Anatomy, not in Physiology, nor Pathology, nor Mental nor Moral Philosophy — inconsistent with Revelation — all the /acts are like those of other fortune-tellers — examples of their /acts'- X CONTENTS. explanation of the tricks of the sect in gulling fools — moral aspect — ridiculous nomenclature — maps of their own brains — Spurz- heim, a believer in Animal Magnetism— proof of his gullibility, incompatibility of Phrenology with Christianity. CHAPTER IV. Of Homceopathia. — Dr. Hahneman — his doctrines — their absurdity and monstrosity — theory for choosing remedies — drug- sicknesses— latent hereditary itch— invisible and intangible po- tenzes — roses — processes for infintesimal doses — wonderful discovery of dividing a single drop into the fraction of nothing — inconsistencies and contradictions in regard to doses, shakes, and pellets of sugar of milk — character of homoeopathic physicians — tricks of the trade — the gift of ignorance — asking questions— wonderful varieties of pain — smelling a phial, or the cork, every nine days — quackery of the tribe — their marvellous cures — preventive powers — analagous to witchcraft. CHAPTER V. Q,UACKEE.T IN General. — Definitions — ancient examples — modern instances, number, and variety in London, compared with New- York — impostors assuming the title of M. D. — infirmaries — dispensaries — lock hospitals, &c. — secret remedies — Thom- sonianism — wonderful simplicity — beautiful technicaJities — the- ory and practice — murderous results — pill-doctors — variety and number — all infallible cures for incurable cases — profit of advertisements — dyspeptic doctors, by thumping and kneading — injustice of the public towards the honest warnings of the reg- ular profession — no monopoly — ignorance and folly, the passport to fame and fortune — every man his own doctor — mortality which is the result of quackery. CHAPTER VI. TJltra-Temperance. — Ultraism, definition and criterion not Temperance Societies — nor total abstinence societies but the small party in those societies who hinder their success, by re- nouncing expediency as the great and potent weapon of offence and defence — abstract immorality of using alchohol under any circumstances denied — shown to be untrue and unnecessary mischiefs of this heresy in the temperance ranks — examples eONTEKTS. XI use and value of the " old pledge" — new pledge — reasons for its preference — its success — mischiefs ofultraism — chief obstacle to entire success of the cause — a humbug, and why. CHAPTER VII. Ultra- Abolitionism. — Not the creed and practice of Jeffer- son, Franklin, Rush, and John Jay, of the old school, for these la- boured for gradual abolition, and were clearly right. — All who insist that slave-holding is in all circumstances sin, and therefore contend for instant abolition — these are ultras — unscriptural dogmas — illustrated — Scripture dactrines on the subject — ex- amples of slave-holding, in which emancipation would be sin — • discrimination essential to a right decision of the moral character of anyact — fruits ofultraism — all men bom free and equal — comment on the Declaration of Independence — the golden rule — example — Bible definitions of sin — difference between wrong and moral wrong ^ slavery an evil — the controversy a worse evil — its unhappy spirit — the pulpit and the press — wealth and agen- cies employed in agitation — free discussion, and liberty of the press, not violated by remonstrating against licentiousness — ex- amples of the ultra-abolition practice, contrasted with their pro- fessions — causes of these e.xcesses — " slave-holding a heinous crime" — illustration of the practical falsehood of this dogma — Christian duty — official publications of the American Anti-slavery Society — billingsgate language — disastrous effects of the spirit of the party — vilification of all who differ from them— 'new gos- pel — our fathers — the churches — monomania — sincerity in er- ror — pusillanimity of the sect— just reprobation of mobs — inca- pable of palliation — wickedness of instigating them — illustration — falsehood of the profession that prayer and the diffusion of light ■are their only weapons — history of mobs, and their causes — mobs to be condemned under aH circumstances, whether /or abolition or against it — examples of both — case of Mr. Lovejoy — tragedy at Alton — its causes — successive destruction of presses — Mr. L. the victim of bad advisers — his folly and- crime — his death, and that of Mr. Bishop — celebration at the N. Y. Tabernacle — pro- fanity of Beriah Green — proofs that he was a victim to his infat- uation, and hot in any sense a martyr — Mr. Bishop in the same condemnation — the murder of Mr. B. the only cause of the murder of Mr. Lovejoy — bothalike in guilt and turpitude — reflections. CONTENTS. CHAPTER VIII. mxRA-PROTESTANTisM. — Popery and anti-Popery both hum- bugs.— Popery a system of imposture and intolerance —justifi- able opposition— danger of using carnal weapons— indiscrimi- nate anathemas — guilt of priests and nuns — morbid feeling of the party — plea for the invincibly ignorant — demoralizing char- acter of certain publications — a more excellent way — importance of the subject — mutual repulsion between Protestants and Papists — liberty and toleration of America — danger of an intolerant spirit — examples — origin of recent controversies — anti-popery literature — mischiefs it is inflicting upon public morals — proposed change — example of a better spirit — crimes of Popery — war against the Bible — infallibility — idolatry, &c., &c. The Bible an all-sufficient weapon — morbid and groundless fears of Protes- tants — omnipotence of truth — illustration — good things even in popery should be separated from evil, in our censures — certain triumph and victory of Protestantism, only delayed by Ultraisra — Conclusion. CHAPTER IX. Ultra-Sectarianism. — Not a plea for the abolition of sects, but of ultraism — bitterness and censoriousness - - examples of denunciation — intolerance — assumption of infedlibility — heresy hunting — philosophy of creeds — new nomenclature — orthodoxy and heterodoxy, examples, unwarrantable perversion of the pulpit — meetings for engendering strife — disastrous effect of this spirit upon Christian missions— illustrated by practical examples in- fluence upon converted heathens — extract ftom a late writer — hie own melancholy inconsistency. CHAPTER I. INTRODUCTORY OBSERVATIONS. Distinction between fanaticism and Its dupes — mistakes on this subject — frenzy of partisans — unwillingness to encounter it- complaints of persecution — ridicule, a lawful and potent wea- pon — rules for its use — disclaimer of invidious personalities — reasons for selecting New- York — gullibility of its citizens — the impostors, Matthias, Fanny Wright, mooiTstory, Crawcours, &c., — the same persons swallowing the whole — these hum- , bugs, not indigenous but imported — the present a favourable ^ lime to gain the public attention — design of the author. It has been facetiously remarked, that " man is the only being endowed with the power of laughter, and per- haps he is the only one who deserves to be laughed at." And were it not for the humiliating exhibition of our common nature, which the follies and frailties of mankind are ever developing, a " laughing philosopher " might have perpetual employment. Instead, however, of indulging our risible faculties at the expense of human folly and popular delusions, it is too common to direct our laughter at the victims of the one or the other. The former are fit subjects for ridicule and censure, while the latter are often entitled rather to our coramis- seration, since it is their misfortune, not their fault, (hat they have been thus deluded. 2 14 INTRODUCTORY OBSERVATIONS. The distinction so obvious between fanaticism itself, and its infatuated dupes, seems too often overlooked. It is for this reason that he who benevolently labours to detect imposture and expose error, however discrimi- nating he may be in separating men's errors from their persons, finds all his arguments and remonstrances mis- applied by his readers ; and the misguided votaries of popular delusion, regard the assault upon their creed, aimed directly at themselves. This results from the fact that men habitually identify themselves, their names, and charactel", vrith the dogmas of every system they embrace, and when that system is founded in error and enthusiasm, the party spirit which it inspires, burns with an intensity, which absorbs reason, conscience, and religion itself, in its unhallowed flame. Hence those who are gulled into a belief in any one or more of the numerous humbugs which abound in this age of ultraism, seem to regard themselves to have " pledged their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honour," for the support and defence of every jot and tittle of their new scheme, whether it be one of science, philanthropy, or religion. Accordingly, to venture the expression of an opinion adverse to the verity, or phi- losophical correctness of such novelties, and especially to hazard an attempt at their refutation, will expose one to rancorous hostility, and unmingled eensoriousness. And even when the system can be shown to be built upon radical and fundamental error, by arguments and facts which commend themselves both to reason and religion ; and when the tendencies of such errors can be demonstrated to be " evil, only evil, and that tinually ;" yet still, —no benevolence of motive, no spirit of kindness and conciliation of manner, no fairness INTRODUCTORY OBSERVATIONS. 15 candour of reasoning, can protect an antagonist from the anathemas of the clique who have embraced and propagated the humbug. It is for this reason that many- wise and good men have refrained from throwing themselves into the breach, under such circumstances ; though they have fully realized, and deeply deplored, the folly and infatuation which is raging around them. Not that they are deficient in moral courage for the work, nor would they shrink from the fiery arrows to which an attempt to stay the plague would expose them. But they withhold their hand from the consideration of the fruitlessness of the effort to reason against such sublimated folly, such double distilled nonsense, as popular credulity is perpetually swallowing. And, moreover, many such indulge the hope that such is the fury of the zealots of these seve- ral impostures, that they will presently burn out by the intensity of their own fires. Unhappily, however, those who have buckled on the armour against the follies of the times, have been often unwise and indiscreet in the character and spirit of their measures. Disgusted by the stupidity of the vic- tims of delusion, and provoked by their obstinate adhe- sion to error, they have assailed them personally, in- stead of attacking the false philosophy and pseudo-phi- lanthropy by which they have been imposed upon ; and thus they have made a show of intolerance which has been fatal to their success. They seem to have been unmindful of the sentiment, that "error of opinion may be safely tolerated, while reason is left free to combat it." For although the force of reason may be impo- tent with that species of infuriated insanity called fana- ticism, and hence fail in converting its unhappy victims 16 INTRODUCTORY OBSERVATIONS. from the error of their ways ; yet the great body of the community will always possess enough of intelligence, to be influenced by true philosophy and sound logic. Be- sides, there is an omnipotence in the majesty of truth, which will ultimately constrain the homage of the world. Persecution only serves to propagate new theories, whether of philosophy or religion, as the history of the world demonstrates ; and this it has never failed to do, whether those theories were true or false. They ac- quire fresh vigour under the blows of intolerance, and like vivacious insects seem to multiply by dissection. Hence, every attempt to put down impostors, or en- thusiasts, by censoriousness and invective, directed against them personally, because of their follies or their crimes, has ever been unsuccessful. They are them- selves so sensible that opposition of this kind promotes their cause, that they desire, invite, and even provoke it. Indeed some of the popular follies of the times are indebted solely to the real or alleged persecutions they have suffered, not only for the number of their vo- taries, but even for their present existence ; and but for this they would long since have descended to the tomb of the capulets, " unwept, unhonoured, and unsung. " The remark has been often repeated, but it has there- by lost none of its propriety or truth, that " Ridicule has ever been the most powerful enemy to enthusiasm, and is often the only antagonist that can be opposed to it with success." It is true that this is a weapon, if in- discriminately applied, which wounds both ways, and may-be thus rendered effective against truth as well as error. Still, however, there is high and even sacred au- thority for the employment of ridicule against acknow- ledged evils, and popular infatuation. It should, how- INTRODUCTORY OBSERVATIONS. 17 ever, never be relied on solely in controversial writing, since it derogates from the dignity of the subject,' and detracts from the influence of its author. It may, how- ever, and ought to be employed as an auxiliary in such a work; and when appropriately introduced, in connexion with sober and argumentative discussion, cannot justly be condemned. Indeed there are many topics on which it were idle to discourse with gravity, even if it were possible, since their intrinsic character will irresistibly prompt the rea- der to laughter ; apd this result will be produced just in proportion to our attempts to restrain it. We may be excused, then, incur notice of the " Humbugs of New- York," if we sometimes pause to laugh by way of re- creation from the sober consideration which we propose to give to each of them. And let no man flatter him- self that we have him in our mind's eye, or imagine that our organs of " individuality " and "locality" make him the object of our risibility. Principia non homines is our motto ; nor do we intend in these pages', while shooting folly as it flies, to give to any of our targets a local habitation, or a name, other than that which our title page proclaims. Should any reader inquire why we select the city of New- York as the scene of our strictures, he may be re- minded that this is the theatre of humbugs ; the chosen arena of itinerating mountebanks, whether they figure in philosophy, philanthropy, or religion. Here is found a motley population, multitudes of whom spend their " time in nothing else, but in searching after some new thing." Hence those who seek to make proselytes to any creed, however absurd, or to find believers in any pretensions, however incredible, or miraculous, may gather kindred 2* 18 INTRODUCTORY OBSERVATIONS. spirits here, by " calling them from the vasty deep, and they will come." The more ignorant, impudent, and even vicious, such charlatans proclaim themselves to be, the greater power and patronage they may expect from the gullible inhabitants of this metropolis. And if they can make a pedantic show of learning, lay claims to the character of philosophers, deal in hyeroglyphics and technicalities, and profess supernatural and miraculous powers, they have only to decry all existing systems, denounce all the learning of the schools, condemn and revile all prevalent opinions on any and every subject, and they will find here a great multitude of disciples, who will eargerly listen to their oracular teachings, and drink in wisdom and knowledge with the most marvel- lous credulity. It will be in vain for the guardians of the public weal, or the conductors of the public press, or that portion of it which cannot be bribed into silence, to utter their warnings, or proclaim their opposition ; for such impostors have only 'to raise the cry of persecution, and a tide of public sympathy will rush to their protec- tion. They need only refer to the cruelties suffered by Copernicus, vvhen he first proclaimed his astronomical discoveries, or Harvey, when he introduced his new doctrine of the circulation of the blood, or they may even compare themselves to Jesus Christ, as though their persecutions resembled his, and forthwith thou- sands will rally around their standard, and be ready to spill their blood in the defence of the authors or propa- gators of any humbug, however monstrous in philosophy or morals. That such a picture of New- York, is that which truth and candour demands, does not lessen the pain and mor- tification with which it is acknowledged. But lest anv INTRODUCTORY OBSERVATIONS, 19 should suppose it overdrawn, or at least coloured be- yond the facts of the case, it may be proper here briefly to allude to a few prominent examples, out of the great multitude which no man can number, which a few years have furnished. Witness the recent foul and horrid blasphemies of that stupid impostor Matthias, and his numerous fol- lowers. Especially let it be remembered, that he pro- claimed his own absolute Divinity, demanded Divine homage paid to himself, arrogated the name and attri- butes of the great Jehovah, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost ; and while proclaiming these stupid and impious profanities, he found crowds of gaping fools at all his public meetings; many of them men of character, wealth, and influence ; and some, both male and female, who had always sustained a moral and Christian character, became his willing disciples, and committed their wealth, and even their persons, to his polluted embrace. Let this specimen oi religious humbug suffice, though many others little short of Matthias in profanity, by their past, and even present success in this city, might be named, if further illustration were needed. Witness, again, the experiment performed in our midst a few years since, by Robert Dale Owen, and Fanny Wright, the latter of whom is even now lecturing to thou- sands, while the party she rallied, is still flourishing on each returning Sabbah, at Tammany-Hall, where hun- dreds of our yOuth, of both sexes, statedly assemble to desecrate the Sabbath, and listen to the blasphemies of the Bible, and the God of the Bible, from Fanny's high priest, an ignorant son of Crispin, who hammers out his reputation and support upon the lapstone of popular cre- dulity. This, too, is only one instance among many of infidel humbuggery. 20 INTRODUCTORY OUSERVATIONS. In relation to philosophical humbugs, an illustrious example is furnished by the celebrated moon story, in- geniously fabricated by a shrewd and intelligent practi- tioner on public gullibility, and the success of which proved, that he had rightly judged of the character of our population in regard to their readiness to swallow the most sublimated nonsense, when dignified by the name of science. Hundreds of thousands of copies were quickly disposed of in successive editions ; maps and drawings, without number, of the moon and its wondrous inhabitants were sold ; and there are very many in our city, who to the present hour, regard those revelations with more of reverence and confidence than atiy of the established truths in physics or morals. In proof that the success of humbugs is not owing to the vast proportion of the ignorant and depraved ; but that the intelligent, enlightened and respectable por- tion of the community are equally guillible ; a single in- stance may sufiice, from the numerous exhibitions of quackery in the medical profession, which our city is perennially furnishing. Every body remembers the celebrated Crawcours, surgeon dentists to KingSi Queens, and Emperors, who landed here a few years since from Paris and London. No sooner had their flourish of trumpets been heard, and their advertise- ments proclaimed their astonishing powers in operating upon the teeth of the old and the young, than their rooms were thronged with the beauty, and fashion, and wealth of the metropolis. Notwithstanding our city abounds with men of scientific attainment, in the Dental depart- ment, whose skill and experience have been well known and established in their profession, yet their modest merit was postponed to the towering pretensions of the IN TRODUCTfOR Y OBSERVATIONS. 21 Crawcours, and every body were crowding to see them. These stupendous humbugs, finding the ladies of New- York, whose carriages stood in long array before their house, to possess so extraordinary gulli- bility, drained their purses- of enormous fees ; and in a few weeks absconded from the country, bearing with them some 20,000 dollars, as the fruit of their profes- sional humbug ; leaving their victims to repentance at their leisure, for the mischiefs inflicted, many of which are forever irreparable. But it were an endless task to enumerate the half of similar impostures which our city has witnessed ; and if it were even done, it would be fruitless. While the reiga of humbug continues, our citizens have neither eyes nor ears; and experience itself seems to have been lost upon them, though bought so dearly. Every year, and indeed almost every month, brings to our city some imported mountebank ; some foreign or domestic hum- bug ; each of which in its turn is greedily swallowed while the rage of novelty lasts, until another more clamorous, or more showy, succeeds it. Meanwhile, however, each of these acquires proselytes ; and as fanaticism is con- stitutional, the same individuals, in many instances, deli- berately swallow them all. Indeed there are gentlemen and ladies in this city, who have been successively gul- led by Matthias, Fanny Wright, the moon story, and the Crawcours. They have taken the pills of foreign and domestic quacks by the thousand, with Lobelia, Cayenne pepper, and vapour baths. They have swal- lowed Maria Monk, abolitionism, and homceopathia ; and are now equally busy in bolting down Phrenology and Animal Magnetism. These several humbugs having been disposed of, the same persons, and thpusands more, will 22 INTRODUCTORY OBSERVATIONS. be prepared for still farther experiments in gullibility, ad infinitum. Let it not hence be supposed, that the city of New- York is the only locality where humbugs flourish and prevail, much less that they originate here. So far from this being the case, it will be seen, as we proceed, that in most cases, the delusions to which reference will be had, are imported humbugs, which have had their day, and long since become superanuate, in some transatlantic country. And we shall also perceive, that after the delusion has passed away, and its imposture been execrated in Europe, some foreign mountebank has visited our country to renew the experiment here ; and that not until he has succeeded in making converts in other and distant places, has he ventured to intro- duce it into New- York. Nevertheless, therei are so many among the population of this city, who are ever ready to embrace any new dogma, however monstrous or absurd, provided it be of imported origin, so many congenial spirits who greedily devour every foreign humbug, that soon it becomes naturalized here, and may therefore properly be denominated one among the " Humbugs of New-York," although this city is not the birth-place of the delusion, nor at all distinguished by exclusive pretensions to its patronage. In the use of this appellative, therefore, nothing more is meant than the fact that these several humbugs receive coun- tenance and patronage in this great city, as late in the nineteenth century as the year 1837. Such, then, are some of the reasons which have led to the present attempt to remonstrate and expostulate with the citizens of New-York, against the fashion of delu- sion, the reign of humbug. And the present time has INTRODUCTORY OBSERVATIONS. 23 been chosen, because of the more serious and important bearing upon the public weal which certain impostures now rife in our city are likely to exhibit. And as the commercial distress under which our country is labour- ing, as the result of humbuggery on a large scale, has paralyzed the public press, and prevented th^ publica- tion of the usual amount of popular reading, the present juncture has been chosen ; if hapily the author shall succeed in gaining the public eye artd ear to a few promi- nent examples of imposition upon popular creduility. It is the design of this work to examine briefly, but perspicuously, the nature of each of the topics selected for animadversion, as well as its pretended claims to truth ; and at the same time to present the author's un- disguised and conscientious views of the true character and tendency of each. If he shall succeed in conform- ing to his purposes, he will " nothing extenuate, or set down aught in malice." He may err, however, in mat- ter and manner ; and he only bespeaks the reader's at- tention and candour, by which such errors may be de- tected, and their efibrt averted. And should he at any time exceed the bounds of moderation, in his zeal to satirize reigning delusions, let it be imputed to a san- guine and ardent temperament, or to a just indignation against the stupendous mischiefs which prevalent frauds are inflicting upon the cause of truth. CHAPTER II. OP ANIMAL MAGNETISM. Its origin in Germany — its reprobation in France — discovery of somnambulism — clairvoyance — its revival and spread through Europe — M. Detuze---Perkin3's tractors — introduction into America — Dr. Brigham — M. Poyen — Col. Stone— Mr. Du- rant, Miss Brackett, &c. — immoral tendencies of the humbug — Colquhoun's report — absurdities of supposing it to be true — abominable consequences. This novelty in America is choseh as the first in or- der, only because it is the present reigning humbug in the United States ; although it is one which transatlantic countries have long since repudiated, and of which its votaries have become heartily ashamed. It originated in Germany, in the year 1776 ; although its advocates vainly allege much greater antiquity, and pretend to identify it with mineral magnetism, with which it can have neither connexion nor analogy. From the quaint old story of Faust and the Devil, down to Prince Hohlen- hoe, the Germans have never ceased to invent and pro- pagate wonders, both in philosophy and religion. But even among them, Animal Magnetism long since ceased to receive countenance among the learned, notwithstand- ing the multitude of believers which at one time re- ceived it both among physicians and divines. Father Hell, a Jesuit of Vienna, seems to have been the origi- OF ANIMAL MAGNETISM. 25 nal proprietor of the invention, which he applied to the treatment o£ diseases. He employed Antony Mes- mer, a physician of those times, to conduct his experi- ments ; and the latter contrived to identify his name with the subject, by a violent controversy with Father Hell, and thus the new science became generally known un- der the name o£ Mesmerism. In the year 1778, Mes- mer left Germany for the capital of France, where there is as great a pencltaiit for the supernatural as perhaps can be found upon the earth ; and in Paris he soon made the science a source of fame and emolument. Great numbers of the sick were collected from various aqd distant parts of the country upon whom Mesmer was reaping immense emoluments, and ever proclaiming the most miraculous cures. He made many converts, even aftiong learned and scientific physicians, who soon attempted to share the spoils with their great master. Among these M. d'Eslon, a member of the Medical Faculty of Paris, became most conspicuous ; and in 1784, the subject had attracted so much public atten- tion, that a royal commission was appointed, and also one from the Acad^mie de Sciences, to investigate the subject. Of the character of this commission, and the weight to which their opinions are entitled, it is only ne- cessary to record that Bailly, the historian of Astrono- my, Lavoisier and Berthollet, the distinguished chem- ists and philosophers, together with the celebrated Benjamin Franklin, who was at that time in France, were among the number. After a patient attention to public and private experiments for five months succes- sively, the commissioners reported, that there were " no proofs of the existence of Animal Magnetism; that all the effects ascribed to it were purely owing to the 3 2Q OF ANIMAL MAGNETISM. power oihnaginalion ; the tendency to imitation natural to all mankind, and the mechanical influence oi touching and frictions on the most sensitive parts of the body ; and that the practice of it was both hurtful and danger- ous in society, especially in a moral point of view." But although this learned and able report was, as might be expected, fatal to the pretensions of Mesmer- ism, strictly so called, yet the Marquis de Puys^gur, one of Mesmers followers, now introduced Animal Magnetism in a new and improved form, and pro- claimed the discovery of Somnambulism, or Magnetic sleep. Before his time, convulsions had been the result of the experim.ents ; but now somnambulism became the universal effect of manipulations. The Marquis, unable to at'tend to the multitude of patients who sought sleep at his hands, determined upon experimenting on a large scale. He therefore magnetized a tree, from which he suspended cords, to each of which a patient was at- tached ; and all being united by their thumbs, he passed around among them with his mystic rod, and magne- tized them by wholesale. " Expect a miracle and it will happen ; " and accordingly he soon discovered that his sleeping patients, when in a crisis, were gifted with su- pernatural vision, and this he denominated clairvoyances "While in this state, he called them medecins endormis, sleeping physicians ; because of the wonderful dis- coveries in the nature and cure of diseases, in which they instructed their magnetizer himself. Meanwhile, other practitioners were producing the same effects, by different means ; some of them, like the Chevalier de Barbarin, offering prayers at the bed sides of the sick, which produced all the phenomena seen under the mag- netic tree. This new form of Animal Magnetism OP ANIMAL MAGNETISM. 27 spread rapidly over France, Germany, Switzerland, Russia, and Sweden, and continued with the rage of an eipidemicv^until 1789, when the French Revolution in- terrupted, and almost annihilated the science. After the French war had termiaated, the subject began again to attract attention ; and in Germany as well as France, it was embraced by many learned and scientific men. Many periodicals were established for promoting it, and voluminous works on the subject were published. In 1813, M. Deluze, published his History of Animal Magnetism; and we may judge of the qualifications of this author, when we learn from his work, that "the ivay to be convinced of the existence of Animal Magnetism, is to magnetize ;" and that we must "forget, for the time, all our knowledge of physics, and metaphysics ;" and he adds, " Do not reason for six weeks after you commence the study !" Really, as has been well remarked, " M. Deluze is very modest ! he only asks a man to resign his reason, imagine an ab- surdity, forget his knowledge, commence with credu- lity, and then promises him that he shall end with belief!" Without dwelling farther upon the history of this hum- bug, it may be sufficient to remark, that, in 1826, an- other royal commission was appointed to examine the subject anew ; and their experiments were protracted through a period of five years, and although they were thus patient and laborious, they declare in their Report of 1831, that " the female somnambulist failed in ex- hibiting any one of the phenomena which the magne- tizers had pledged themselves to produce." The com- mission, nevertheless, seem to have been prejudiced ia favour of the new science j and their report, therefore, 28 OF ANIMAL MAGNETISM. has contributed to prolong the delusion. In the Lon- don Foreign Quarterly for October, 1833, will be found an elaborate review of the whole subject, in which this last French commission receive merited castigation. In this brief reference to the prominent features in the history of the " new science" in Europe, it is now time to mako allusion to Perkin's metallic tractors, in- troduced into England in 1798,, and which is believed to be the chief exhibition of this humbug which ever af- flicted Great Britain ; and indeed, it is supposed that the reader is sufficiently familiar with the circumstances at- tending that imposture, as well as the argumeniwn ad hominem, by which Dr. Haygarth annihilated the trac- tors and their author. In his work, entitled "Of the imagination, as a cause and cure of disorders, exem- plified by fictitious tractors ; " the reader will find amusement in learning that Dr. H. effected exactly the same cures by painted wooden tractors, as Dr. Perkins had done with his metallic and magnetic ones. But as this system of Perkinsism was of American origin, and received for a time, a large share of attention both at home and abroad, it may be in place to enlarge somewhat on the character of Perkins and the form of Animal Magnetism, by which he and his disciples so long humbugged the public. Elisha Perkins, was a na- tive of Connecticut, and born about 1740. In many respects he was an extraordinary man. His habits of life, as well as his studies, secured to him a very respect- able share of general knowledge. He was accustomed to ride on horseback for many years in succession sixty miles a day, and never made use of stimulating drinks, or ardent spirits. He was of a robust and vigorous constitution ; and it is said that three or four hours of OP ANIMAL MAGNETISM. 29 rest at night, was all the time he allowed himself, or needed, for repose. Jt is probable from all we can learn from his history, that with the exception of the outra- geous humbug he practised upon the'public with his " me- tallic tractors," his demeanour and principles bore the stamp of honour. Professing a belief in Animal Magnet- ism as a powerful agent in curing disease, he conceived the idea that for producing an influence upon the nerves and muscles of animals, by external medical agents, me- tallic substances were best adapted. After several years of experiments, he professed to have discovered a composition of metals, out of which he made what he called his " Tractors." He concealed the compound nature of the metals, as a mystery unknown to all but himself. They consisted of two instruments, one of which had the appearance of steel, and the other of brass. They were three or more inches in length, and pointed at one end ; and they were applied for the cure of disease, by drawing the points over the affected parts from above downwards, gently touching the skin for about twenty minutes at each operation. Like all the other panaceas, they were declared to cure the most diversified disorders, local inflammations, pains in the head, teeth, breast, side, back, as well as every form of rheumatism and neuralgia. He himself published multi- plied miraculous cures, and his disciples proclaimed the like results ; and the enthusiasm created by his vast pretensions to benevolence and skill, enlisted the coun- tenance of many of the most enlightened men in further- ance of his supernatural professions. Pamphlet after pamphlet gave wings to his renown ; and the scattered partizans of Mesmer, wherever found, seemed again to 3* 30 OF ANIMAL MAGNETISKT.. rally uader this new form of the old humbug, and Animal Magnetism became the reigning hobby of the times. In various sections of the American Union, Perkins found credulous dupes and designing knaves to enter into his views ; and this city of New-York, as might be naturally inferred, became the scene of some of his most conspicuous demonstrations of the sanative po- tency of his wonderful tractors. There are several physicians of repute, still among us, who well recollect the application of his metallic points as the only eifect- ual means of salvation in cases the most alarming. Even contagion and infection, those sturdy agents in pestilence, were said to be disarmed of their venom, by the graceful application of the tractors to different parts of the body, in cases of pestilential fever. What was 'proclaimed to be so effectual in private practice could hardly be looked on with indifference by the distin- guished and philanthropic men who presided over our public institutions. Accordingly, Perkinsism found its way into some of the most important of our public charities ; and the New- York Hospital, among others, afforded suitable subjects for the establishment of new- truths by experimental investigation, according to the true system of Baconian philosophy. It would be un- kind and invidious to record the names, or the number of the physicians of that great practical school of medi- cine, who employed these new fcmedial agents, and thus lent their influence to the humbug. From the ample and valuable letter contained in the life of the late Thomas Eddy, formerly President of that institu- tion, it may, however, be lawful to make an extract. Dr. John W. Erancis, who has so elaborately drawn the character of this real philanthropist, thus adverts to the OP ANIMAL MAGNETISM. 31 introduction of Perkinsism among the remedial measures of the New-York Hospital. The time appears to have been about the year 1798. Speaking of the late Mr. Eddy, Dr. Francis says : " I am acquainted with but one striking instance in his whole life, in which the integrity of his judgment was seriously impugned. He was unwittingly captivated by the enthusiasm which prevailed concerning the me- tallic tractors, and was led to confide in the remedial in- fluence of Perkinsism by experiments performed in the New- York Hospital, where that practice was counte- nanced for a short time by certain physicians of that charity."* It is foreign from our purpose to enlarge to any ex- tent on the progress of Perkinsism through Germany and England. The reports of the Frederick's Royal Hospital of Copenhagen, on the efficacy of the remedy, were drawn up by Professors Hernholdt and Rafn ; — while the report of the remedial potency of the tractors on the afflicted poor at the Perkinian institution estab- lished in London, by the son of the inventor, received the countenance of a long list of Right Honourables, besides Doctors both of Divinity and Medicine. The historian of this extraordinary imposition, states, that communications of cures were made to the London in- stitution from almost every quarter of Great Britain; and that among the names attached to those veracious documents, were eight professors, in four different Uni- versities, twenty-one regular physicians, nineteen sur- geons, and thirty clergymen, twelve of whom were Doctors of Divinity, all of whom were outrageously * Sec Col. Kaapp's life of Thomas Eddy, 1834. 32 OF ANIMAL MAGNETISM. humbugged. Their mortification may be imagined', but not described, when Dr. Haygarth produced similar proofs of equal success, when he used only wooden tractors, painted so as to deceive the patient into the be- lief that they were made of the mysterious compound of metals used by Perkins, and possessing the wonderful electro- galvanic-magnetic potency. One of the most distinguished men in Great Britain finally annihilated the humbug, by operating upon a great number of pa- tients collected for the purpose, in the presence of the most distinguished among the professional dupes of the imposture. All the patients professed to be relieved, or cured, instantaneously, on the use of the tractors ; but when the operator explained to them, that the pretended composition metallic tractors, were nothing but two iron skewers taken from his kitchen, and appealed to his cook who was present, and had furnished them ; in the twinkling of an eye, every pain and affliction re- turned upon the patients, and all the cures he had made suffered an instant relapse. The lame resumed their crutches, the blind had to be led out of the apartment, and every one of the sufferers became as much afflicted as before. The reader will find much to amuse him on the sub- ject of this well-performed comedy in Sir Christopher Caustic's poem, entitled Terrible Tractoration. Whether the American institutions made so formidable a display of the singular benefits of this once popular humbug, we have no means of ascertaining. Dr. Francis, with all his antiquarian researches, has left us in the dark as to the fact, whether the New-York Hospital published reports on the subject, either for, or against the success of the tractors. Some evidence, however,, corroborative of the OF ANIMAL MAGNETISM. 33 saving influence of Perkins's points, in protecting the American constitution from the shafts of death, must have been detailed in the volume of cases, edited by Benjamiu Perkins, the son of the inventor; for it is there set forth that no less than one million five hundred thou- sand patients submitted to their frictionizing agency." It is a remarkable fact, that Dr. Perkins practised his impositions upon the public with so much success, that he seems ultimately to have swallowed his own humbug. For this daring empiric wishing to prove the universal potency of his tractors, had the hardihood to apply them in person to the sick, during the yellow fever in New- York, in 1799; and while thus employed, he himself contracted the epidemic ; and notwithstanding the imaginary efficacy of his tractors, which were faith- fully tried, he fell a victim to the disease. Like Para- celsus, the prince and father of quacks, his boasted catholicon was of no utility to himself. Having thus glanced at the more remote history of Animal Magnetism, and indicated the variety of modi- fications the subject has received in different countries, we may now come down to our own times, and confine our observations to that form of this old imposture which it is believed no where finds favour or countenance, ex- cept in the United States, at the present hour. For although Mesmer and Perkins are dead, and their ex- periments on public gullibility are no longer repeated, yet, as we shall presently see, equally ridiculous and absurd dogmas on the subject, firid popularity and success. The recent introduction of this humbug into the Uni- ted States, and its present success in this country may therefore next claim our attention. It is but lately that 34 OF ANIMAL magnetism:. a German Journal of Magiiietrsm complained tha* Great Britain and America presented a tabula rasa in regard to every thing connected with Animal Magnetism. The reason is obvious why such was the fact. We have had our witches, and prophets, and miracle-mon- gers, and Perkins among them, but their wonders have ceased, and we had thought that their history had been written together with their epitaph. Nevertheless, our German reviewer need complain no longer, so far as America is concerned, for recent events have shown that this ancient humbug is destined to spread through the land with the rapidity of a contagious fever, sweep- ing before it the last vestige of common sense from its multiplied victims^ It is fit therefore that an attempt to remonstrate against its desolating mischiefs should be made, however unsuccessful such effort may be, by reason of the array of great names, by which the delu- sion is obtruded upon the public attention. Such re- monstrance may, at least, serve to protect the rising generation from the infatuation ; for the history of the times should at least ahow posterity, that there were some who strove to arrest its progress, and demonstrate its falsity. Very little has been said or thought of Animal Mag- netism in the United States since the time of Perkins, until within the last two years ; and perhaps Dr. Brig- ham, the recent correspondent of Colonel W. L. Stone, in his unfortunate pamphlet, gave the first impulse to the subject here in his book entitled "Influence of Religion upon Health," in which he introduces the subject as explaining every thing "supernatural" in re- ligion; and accounts for the phenomena of revivals, and the effect of the preaching of eloquent ministers, as well DP ANIMAL MAGNETISM. S5 as what is denominated spirituality in religious experi- ence, on the principles of Animal Magnetism. How far this book has been circulated, and to what extent it has been instrumental in preparing the public mind for the reception of this humbugr cannot accurately be affirmed. But it is certairi that it was not long after its publication at Hartford and Boston, before M. Poyen, a French Professor of Animal Magnetism, began to find favour among the people " down east." He commenced his public lectures during the winter of 1836 ^'7 ; and having found a girl who Was simpleton enough to favour his designs, by becoming his somnambulist, he visited Boston and other places, and to the present hour is itinerating with one or more " sleeping beauties " who are trained for the purpose, and by whom multitudes have been gulled into a belief in the " new science." At Providence, he seems to have gained over the fac- ulties of physick and divinity ; and by these the poor factory girls have been taught an easier and more pro- ductive employment than that of attending upon their spinning jennies. Still, however, the whole farce has been laughed at by people of sense who have not been brought within the charmed circle, and magnetized out of their brains, until very lately. A number of third rate doctors, merchants and mechanics, having failed in their appropriate employments to realize either fame or emolument, have become converts to the opinion that " the world is a great goose, and every man a fool who does not pluck its quills." Accordingly, providing themselves each with a factory girl, who would rather sleep than work, they have scattered themselves abroad in the villages, towns, and cities of the land ; at first giving private experiments for the purpose of testing the 36 OF ANIMAL MAGNETISM. gullibility of the inhabitants, and then inviting the public to witness the phenomena, at the modest fee of one dollar for each visiter. Next to Providence, R. I., these itinerating mounte- banks and their misses, have beien most successful, in Schenectady, New-York, where the President and Fac- ulty of Union College seem to have swallowed the humbug whole, some of whom have committed them- selves in writing, as it is said, by introducing the opera- tors, and endorsing their pretensions. It is rumored that one of the students submitted to the raagnetizer's manipulations axid feigned somnambulism, for the pur- pose of undeceiving his preceptors, and having gulled all parties, afterwards confessed his duplicity and the laudable motive of it. But for this, it is certain, that the inhabitants of that place had been overwhelmed with the humbug. Since then, however, an attempt has been made to redeem the college from this silly conceit, by one of the graduating class, who delivered a satire upon the whole concern on Commencement day, which was creditable to his head and heart. It is, therefore, ardently to be hoped, and it is fair to presume, that those excellent men who were for a time decieved by this new form of jugglery, have renounced the snare and are themselves again. The city of New- York, filled as it is with fanaticism, had not yet been visited by this species of imposture. Its propagators and ad- mirers were afraid to trust themselves in this metropolis with their factory girls, until they had secured among the victims of magnetic influence some of the public men who should vouch for their pretensions. After various unsuccessful attempts upon other citi- zens, among whom was Mr. C. F. Durant, the author OP ANIMAL MAGNETISM. 37 of the late "Exposition, Theory, and Key;" the mag- netizers had well nigh despaired of gaining ingress into New- York, until Col. Wm.- L. Stone, the editor of the Commercial Advertiser, being on a visit to Providence, R. I., was invited to witness the experiments of Dr. Capron upon a Miss Bracket of that city. This in- telligent and honourable man, for such he is in the es- timation of all who know him well, by reason of the organ of" benevolence," of which he has a singular de- velopement, is predisposed to give his confidence to the integrity of all with whom he meets, in any circle in which he allows himself to move. Like many other excellent men, he is unsuspicious, and will repel any thought which would impugn the honesty of others, until the evidence of a forfeiture of his courtesy is fully apparent. And having conducted a series of experiments in which he could perceive no collusion or mistake, unless he consented to harbour a suspicion that one of the parties was a knave, he could not consent to this latter alterna- tive, and therefore was beguiled by the former. It is, therefore, plainly unjust to accuse Col. Stone of a defi- ciency of intelligence, much less to question his in- tegrity, as some have incautiously done ; since his error only consisted in his refusing to admit the possibility of deception, on the part of his sleeping girl. In the first place, she pretended to be blind ; and the Colonel was too gallant to doubt her veracity, especially as Dr. C. confirmed the statement by his professional opinion ; in which it is fair to presume that he confided implicitly in her word ; for who should know so vrell that she was blind as the girl herself! Next, in reply to the question candidly put to herself, whether she was sound asleep ? she solemnly answered audibly in the affirmative, and 4 38 OF ANIMAt MAGNETISM. suiting the action to the word, her eyes were closed, and her limbs relaxed as though in a quiet slumber. But still more, she was not only blind and asleep, but she was also declared to be so deaf, that " a park of artillery could not wake her," always excepting that her ears were " open as melting charity," to her mag.- netizer; but she ever and anon herself affirmed, that she could hear nobody but Dr. Capron, unless some one else was placed in magnetic communication with her. And in addition to her being deaf, asleep, and blind, her eyes were stuffed with cotton waddings under her green spectacles, for the sensibility of her eyes to the light was most exquisite. It was in charity, therefore, to her optic nerves, while blind and asleep, that her eyes were thus blind-folded. It was not necessary, however, to burden her with, heavy bandages, much less to fit the bandage very accurately to prevent her seeing, for she was blind any how ! At least so she said, and it would not answer to contradict her, for she was represented to be both " re- spectable and pious ! " The Doctor and the gentlemen from vfhom the Colonel received his information, were doubtless highly respectable gfntlemen, and worthy of all confidence, so far as their personal veracity was con- cerned ; but it never entered into the Colonel's mind, that these gentlemen were gulled by this " respectable and pious girl ;" and hence the source of his delusion. Hence he believed that she had "vision without the visual organs ;" and being " favourably impressed in her behalf," by the " delicate mind and manners of this modest and diffident blind young lady," it was perfectly natural that be should be prepared for imposition on a large scale. The result of these experin.ents having been publish- OP ANIMAL MAGNETISM. 39 ei in a pamphlet, are before the public ; and the citizens of New- York, who had always^confided in the sagacity of its author, were truly astounded. The subject soon be- came noised abroad ; for although he did not profess himself to be a full believer, yet his narrative was ac- companied by so many evidences, that he confided in her miracles ; and these are told with so much gravity, that every reader is constrained to regard the Colonel as a convert to the new science. It would be easy to show by extracts from this pamph- let, that while in contact with the magnetizer, and this sleeping beauty of Providence, the Colonel was himself magnetized out of his usual self-possession. But a few examples only will be named, since it is no part of our design to deal censoriously with the pamphlet or its author. The Colonel invites Miss B., during magnetic slum- ber, to visit New- York with him ; and on page 19, we learn that he inquired both of herself and friends whether she had ever been in New- York, and was assured that she had not. Now the motive of the inquiry and the object of recording it, are doubtless to convey the idea that she was ignorant of the localities of this city, and that therefore whatever she should now describe would be by clairvoyance or supernatural vision. Yet, most strangely, we are informed by the -Colonel, on page 14, that at least " one gentleman had taken her to New- York, and placed her in the Park, and conducted her to sundry other places some time since," And how often she had been thus taken, in the very route he was about to con- duct her, and what familiarity she had thus acquired with the " Park and sundry other places,", seems not to have occurred to him as worthy of inquiry. It is in vain to say 40 OF ANlMAt MAGNETISM. that she had never been in New- York in her bodily pres- ence, but only in imagination, while in magnetic sleep, since a knowledge of localities and particularly of liona ! could be as readily obtained in that way as in propria persona, if she always had as communicative a compan- ion. Nor will it do to allege that she forgets all she sees and hears during her magnetic slumber, and is afterwards unconscious of every thing that has passed ; for Colonel S. assures us, that she did remember, after she had been awaked from her sleep, and related to Dr. C. many things she saw during her somnambulatory in- terview with him, and which she had refused to commu- nicate at the time. Another singular example of the strange infatuation of all within the magic circle, is seen in the Colonel's gravely informing his readers that Miss B. cannot hear any person when in the magnetic state, but the person or persons with whom the magnetizer has willed that she should be in communication. Nor can she hear even them, unless they direct their speech to herself. " He must speak to her, or she hears him not, and only wonders why his lips move! and yet that he does not speak." How strange, that this blind lady, asleep, and with her eyelids closely shut, and bandaged with cotton waddings, can, nevertheless, see through her green spectacles, whether the lips move ! So singular is the effect of magnetism upon all present, that the manuscript recording it, is approved by literary friends in Providence, who were present at the humbug, and swallowed it whole. It can scarcely be necessary to remind any reader of Colonel Stone's pamphlet of the palpable fact, that his questions were leading in their character, almost with- OP ANIMAL MAGNETISM. 41 out an exception ; and that he frequently told her what he wished her to see, and then questioned her in relation to it. As for instance, "Would you like to step into Castle Garden?" He talks of the " bridge," and then of the "gate;" and afterwards be marvels that she should seem to see both one and the other. " Now we are on the Battery. Have you heard of the .Astor House ? That is the College-green. How do you like the Boiuling-green ?" and so of the rest. Indeed this feature in the experiments i» so obvious, that all who have looked into the pamphlet, must have remarked it with surprise. And accordingly, no one seems to be amazed at any of the marvels related, until some of the pictures in Colonel Stone's bouse, are represented to have been described so minutely. At these "most wonderful" and astounding replies, the reader cannot fail to be petrified with astonishment, after reading the declaration, on the 37th page, that of these "principal tests, not a soul in the room, as I believe, bad any pre- vious knowledge but myself." But the miracle will be less miraculous, when turning to the 41st page of the same narrative, we find Dr. C. saying to Miss B., "When Mr. Stone was in Providence, a few days since, he spoke to me of some pictureSf which he prizes highly, did you see any of themi" On the presumption on which both the Doctor and the Colonel were acting, that she was "-asleep and blind and deaf," either of them might have spoken of the pictures, and one of them^ doubtless, had done so in her presence. It may, have been done unconsciously, and would have been perfectly safe and honest, if she was in magnetic sleep, at the time ; in view of their assurance of her incapacity to see and hear^ under such circumstances ; and it would be, 4* 42 OP ANIMAL MAGNETISM. perfectly natural for them to forget the circumstance afterwards, because of its unimportance. That this is the key to the wonderful discoveries of the pictures, does not admit of a rational doubt. What must have been the mystification of the Colonel, at the time he recorded and published these proofs, that he was himself " outrageously humbugged," is as great a mystery to his friends, as is Animal Magnetism un- explained. And yet, of his sincerity in narrating the facts in the case, as well as his purpose to avoid and detect any imposture or fraud in the experiments, no one can doubt. He seems, however,, to have anticipa- ted, as he approached the close of his narrative, that he was making himself a target for thousands of arrows, and with astonishing self-complacency, writes the epi- taph of all who may assail him, by denominating them in advance as ^'^ witlings and brish faols." This may have been expected to disarm or intimidate criticism ; but the subject is too important in its bearings, and the evidences of its fallacy too apparent to escape with im- punity, even at the hazard of incurring his displeasure, or suffering from the application of his hard names. Nevertheless, while condemning and reprobating the imposture, we are carefully to separate men's persons from their errors ; and especially when, as in the present case, the plausibility of the sophisms by which he has been imposed upon is so great, and the easy and natural process by which he has been practised upon is so. readily admitted. The error of Colonel Stone consists, first, in his con- fiding too implicitly in the truth and honesty of the "bhnd young lady," and in the impossibility of learned doctors and divines being gulled by aa ingenious, female OF ANIMAL MAGNETISM. 43 practitioner of a profitable humbug. But a still greater error is that of lending his name and influence to sustain the pretensions of the humbug, instead of contenting himself, as he should, in relating what he saw aftd heard, without committing himself to the pseudo-philosophy by which it was explained. It would have been easy to state all his experiments and conversations with Miss B., and explain the nature of the theory by which the advo- cates of the new science account for these mysteries, while, in the absence of all evidence, he should have left the public to judge whether their theory was true or false. The exposure of the imposture, by which so many have been the dupes, would then in no wise have wounded either his feelings or his reputation. The worthy Colonel may not thank any one for the exposition of the process by which he has been gulled, notwithstanding the kindness of the motive which prompts it. Still it is but justice to urge in his defence that he has been beguiled, by the craft of his convenient corres- pondent, into the position which otherwise he might have avoided ; and but for this it is scarcely credible that he would have taken it. In the letter of Dr. B. to which the Colonel replies, it will be perceived' that the doctor Galls the phenomena " incredible ;" and adds that " an immensity of proof appears to be necessary in order to establish things so extraordinary, and so contrary to the eommon sense and to the testimony of all times ;" and he most craftily calls Animal Magnetism a " new art, sci- ence, or imposture," as though he was a perfect novice ifl the subject, and had been taking lessons in non- committalism. The public, however, need hardly be reminded, that this innocent doctor being himself wofully committed by his pjihlication a few months before, in 44 or A.NIMAL MAG NET IS M» which he had taught this " art, science, or imposture,"' and arged it as furnishing an explanation of all that is miraculous, mysterious or supernatural in religion, had hence the strongest motives to enlist a professor of Christianity in the snare. Hence his letter is carefully and skilfully adapted to call out all the Colonel's strength to sustain the humbug, while he flatters him with the reminiscence that " Animal Magnetism has at- tracted the attention of many of the most scientific men in Europe." So far froin being the noviciate and unbe- liever his letter would indicate. Dr. B., during his visit to the countries where it prevailed, had opportunities for acquainting himself with the subject enjoyed by few ; and having become an admirer of the " art, science, or imposture," of which he had been the dupe, as his wri- tings prove, he had omnipotent reasons for securing so valuable an auxiliary. Hence Dr. Capron is not the only magnetizer of whose infatuation the Colonel has been the victim. It is now time to inform the reader that since the wonderful experiments of Colonel Stone have been published, Mr. C. F. Durant has issued a work, to which allusion has already been made, in which he has fully established the fact that this Miss Bracket is not blind if she was ever so ; and that the miraculous " vision vyi...„„. ..sual organs," which the Colonel has celebra- ted, is therefore altogether a humbug. She herself told Mr. D. that her sight was so far recovered (hat she could distinguish objects very well, and proved it by examining his whiskers wheti awake ! He also proved that while in magnetic sleep, she was not deaf as is pretended ; for on clapping his hands together near her ear, she started suddenly and jerked her head eight or ten inches. And OF ANIMAL MAGNETISM. 45 by this experiment he fully proved not only that she was not deaf but that she was not asleep, though pretending to be so. He also proved that she did not " see with the back of her head ;" for he opened a knife and stand- ing behind her, thrust it at her head, so that the persons in the room involuntarily shuddered^ while she did not move a muscle. He also ascertained that she had the cotton waddings under her spectacles so arranged that she could see objects distinctly under them when placed on the left temple, and that they were invariably placed there before being carried to the back of her head for inspection. The zeal of Mr. D. in exposing this humbug is worthy of all praise, whatever may be thought of the means he employed to detect it, or the causticity of manner in which he has made the exposure. But al- though this last is much talked of by the sect, yet the truths his work contains are, after all, by far the greatest specimens of severity in the book. He employed seve- ral weeks in visiting the various magnetizers and their " sleeping beauties," in different parts of the country, and conducted a series of amusing experiments upon each, all the while professing a belief in their miracles, and thus securing their confidence. The reader will find his book both entertaining and instructive ; exhibit- ing as it does the most astonishing trickery, and the most consummate knavery, on the part of the " factory girls," who are the chief somnambulists in the country, and likewise the most extraordinary instances of gulli- bility and " outrageous humbuggery " which this world has ever witnessed. It ought to serve as a perpetual antidote against public credulity and popular delusion. Soon after the publicity which the Colonel's pamphlet 46 OF ANIMAL MAGNETISM. gave to the humbug, a number of the professors and their sleeping beauties were successively brought to this city ; among whom were Messrs. Potter and Grant, with a Miss Ayres, as their somnambulist, and the celebrated Mr. Andros, and his wife ; the latter of whom was re- ported to be an extraordinarily good subject, and as having astonished the natives down east by her clairvoy- ance. The public invitations which were given in the newspapers on behalf of each of these parties, were responded to by very many of our citizens, each of whom were charged one dollar, for witnessing the ex- periments. Two public exhibitions were ordinarily given each day ; but for the accommodation of private parties, the accommodating ladies would go to sleep at any hour, and any number of times in the day, for a suitable fee. Many of the ladies and gentlemen who visited Miss Ayres, became sturdy believers, although there were palpable evidences at each experiment that she was " wide awake," during her feigned somnambu- lism, and notwithstanding her almost uniform failure to " guess " the answer that was expected from her. Her eyelids quivered incessantly as do those of any body else who purposely keep the eyes shut in the midst of a strong light, and is an infallible test by which'feigned sleep may be detected. Another equally palpable evi- dence that she was awake, was presented in the per- petual rolling of the eyeballs, which was visible through the eyelids when closed, and uniformly in the direction of the operator, or experimenter, and in that of the objects which she pretended to examine by claimoyance. And when she was made to open the eyes, the pupils contracted and dilated with the increase or diminution of the light, and she gave other evidences of perfect OF ANIMAL MAGNETISM. 47 and voluntary vision. All the while she professed to be unable to see or hear, except when magnetically connected with some one by the command of her magnetizer. The experiments in which Miss Ayres was instructed are chiefly those of accompanying her interrogator in imagination, to his house, or to some distant place ; and for the most part she contented herself with answering his questions. It was in this department that she was said to have made many successful hits. If she did, it must have been when we were not there to see ; for, in several attempts we were lucky enough to witness, al- though she guessed with all her might, she was very unlucky; Indeed she never, in a single instance, saw any thing in our presence, but through her earg, when her examiner led her o la mode Colonel Stone. She did not attempt to read any thing, though she frequently tried to tell the time, by watches placed to her stomach, when she was blindfolded ; but she uniformly failed ; and her convenient magnetizer, as uniformly, attributed it to her being fatigued or indisposed. On one occasion, when some of the visiters manifested- great indignation at the hoax which Mr. Grant and Miss Ayres were play- ing upon them, after taking their dollars, while the latter continued to sleep on, though every experiment was a failure, the former proposed to prove that she was asleep and blind, and offered the following proposition as a test. " I will .take this pencil," said he, " and drop it into her hand, and she shall mistake it for any article which one of the company may name." One of the gentlemen silently wrote on a piece of paper " let her mistake it for a loaf of bread." Mr. G., placing himself before his somnambulist, then commenced the following 43 OP ANIMAL MAGNETISM. dialogue, which is related with the results, that the read- ei- may have this decisive experiment fully before him. Mr. G.— Mary, are you sound asleep? Jlns. — Yes, Sir. Mr. G. — Do you see plain 1 Jlns. — Yes, Sir. Mr. G. — Hold out your hand. She obeyed. Mr. G. — The other hand. She obeyed. Mr. G. — Now tell me what this is, (dropping the pencil into her open hands,) be very particular. Mr. G. now looked intently, with a mysterious frown at Miss A., and willed with all his might, that she should call it a loaf of bread. In a few minutes she exclaimed. Oh yes ! it is a water-melon. At which tlie company laughed, and Mr. Grant bid her smell it and taste it, for she was mistaken. She guessed again, a " big apple," a potatoe, &c., until Mr. G. acknowledged it was a failure. He next held a knife in his- closed hand, and bid her tell him what it was, she said " a key." Next he held a key, and on inquiry, she answered " a knife ; " and so on until her guessing disgusted the company, aiid most of them retired abruptly. Thus ended the ex- periment, which was to prove that she was asleep, and blind, but evidently to his deep mortification. It was the prevalent and most charitable opinion that he was hoaxed by his fair cousin, although some were cruel enough to charge him with collusion, yet on no other authority than surmise. The utter failure to do any thing she attempted in our presence, seemed to afford proof that there was no collusion or fraud on his part ; for if so, either he or his confederate, were wofuUy OF ANIMAL MAGNETISM. 49 dcricient in the lesson. Peopfe were befooled out of their money, howevfer, and that was enough. But still worse, there were many befooled out of their brains ; al- though, doubtless, many among the visiters paid their money for the purpose of witnessing a humbug, know- ing it to be such, and were content with gratifying their curiosity by learning a new method by which women as well as men were contriving to live without work. Mrs. Andros, who attracted a much larger share of attention, and realized much more money than her pre- decessor, is, in many respects, an extraordinary woman. She goes to sleep at her husband's bidding, with most amiable complacency. She seats herself in her rocking chair, when the hours of exhibition arrive ; and on Mr. A. looking intently into her eyes for the space of only two or three minutes, her eyes close, her head falls, and she appears locked in the arms of Morpheus. Now he lovingly lays his ha^d upon her head, and passes his hands gently over her body and limbs, and by these manipulations, secures protracted somnambulism. Now she is prepared to be magnetically connected with any of the spectators ; and in answer to his questions and wishes, she will discourse of things however distant in time or space. Her magnetizer relates some of the wonders of her clairvoyance which he has witnessed, by her having told a gentleman " that his house was" built of brick, that it had a front door, that there was a table and two chairs in the hall, a carpet on the floor ;" and on being asked if she saw any thing else, she dis- covered a lamp, a back-door, or a staircase, with divers other similar wonders. The visiters are urged to take her in imagination to their houses ; and one after another tries the experiment. Believers in the humbug will be 5 50 OP ANIMAL MAGNETISM. amazed at her discoveries of the most common articles of furniture in their houses, after guessing and being corrected three or four times, until the question dictates the answer. On one of these occasions, when no one seemed to be inclined to repeat this " old saw ;" one gentleman inquired if she could do any thing else? and on her husband naming a number of her wonders, he handed her his watch when blindfolded, and she guessed the true time of day within ten minutes : but it happened that the watch had been previously set four hours out of the way, so that this was a failure. Next he gave her bank notes, but she failed to guess their denomination, unless her husband knew it; and so of other wonders which he vouched she had done and could do again. She professed to read letters and words enclosed in a sealed envelope, by holding them to her stomach ; but she repeatedly tried it in our presepce, and failed in every instance. She then said, she could read them if they were left in her possession, by placing them under her pillow during the night, but this also she utterly failed to do. In truth, no one of the wonders she promised was per- formed. At one of the private exhibitions, with a few friends, it was agreed to put her claims to a decisive test. A small image was taken from the mantle-piece and placed in her hands, while the gentleman in mag- netic communication with her, willed, with all his heart, soul, mind, and strength, that she should call it a lobster! After holding it to her stomach a full quarter of an hour, and being charged by h€r husband and magnetizer to be very particular and look at it very closely, she professed to see it, and instead of a lobster, she called it a green squash. If the reader is disposed to laugh at those of us who witnessed this scene, and marvel that men OF ANIMALMAGNETISM. 51 should waste time in being so outrageously humbugged, let him suspend his ridicule, when he is informed that we witnessed all this from a benevolent desire to open the eyes of a worthy friend who had committed himself most lamentably before the public ; and he will find a new reason for his risibility when he is informed, that oxir friend left the somnambulist, and still continues a sturdy disciple of Mrs. Andros and her husband, and a firm believer in the wonderful science of Animal Mag- netism ; notwithstanding her failure to exhibit one single fact, or even the semblance of a fact, which to any other of the friends assembled on the occasion, was either sur- prising or unaccountable. Her failures, it is urged by the infatuated dupes who swallow the humbug, are a proof that there is no fraud, else she would invariably succeed. This Mrs. Andros is the lady with whom many of Mr. Durant's most ludicrous experiments were performed ; and it was she who, during somnambulism, when she professed to be unable to see or hear any one but her magnetizer, on her husband being sent out of the room, was instantly waked, by a proposition made to a medical man who was present, to bleed her. She heard that quickly, and cried out for her husband, so that her somnambulism was transformed into hysterics. The philosophy of this whole matter, by this time, must be plain to the reader. If all the spectators are gulled into the belief that the somnambulist is " so deaf that a park of artillery will not wake her," as Colonel Stone was, and as hundreds of visiters are, they will say to the magnetizer aloud, put this pencil in her hand, and make her call it a water-melon. He complies, and says, what is that? and she answers it looks like a water- melon ; and then the bye-standers are ama?ed, and think 52 OF ANIMAL MAGNETISM. she must have dealings with the devil. Another tells the rnagnetizer aloud, I wish you would take her to ray- house, I have a very singular picture there, it is an Indian, or a cat, or a dog, or what not, and straightway she is taken in imagination to the house, and when the time comes, behold she cries out, I see a picture, — it is an Indian, a cat, or a dog, as the case may be ; and forth- with the spectators are amazed at her astounding replies. Such instances, and many more equally palpable, were witnessed by many, during the reign of the humbug in this city ; nor can it be doubted, that wherever any of the wonders spoken of have been exhibited, similar infatua- tion on the part of those who certify to them, is the secret of their delusion. That they do hear every word that passes between those around them, during the pre- tended somnambulism, was proved in the presence of many of us beyond the possibility of mistake. And the reader of Mr. Durant's book, will perceive that he has fully established this fact, and availed himself of the knowledge of it to practise upon them flagrant deception, and extort from them the precise answers which he pre- dicted, in defiance of the will of the rnagnetizer put forth to prevent it. It is in vain to allege that Messrs. Potter, Grant, and Andros, are not skilful magnetizers, or that Miss Ayres or Mrs. Andros are not good somnambulists ; for many who have seen them all, give the former the preference over Dr. Capron, or M. Poyen himself; and the superi- . ority of these ladies to the renowned Miss Bracket, is shown by the accumulated evidence contained in Mr. Durant's "key," to which the reader is referred for ample evidence. Animal Magnetism, then, we may now surely hope, has had its day ; for one can scarcely OF ANIMAL MAGNETISM. 53 imagine it possible, henceforth, that any can have the hardihood to practise it ; and if they do, the age of hum- bug will indeed be the appropriate epithet for the present generation, should any body be hereafter deceived by its absurd and fallacious pretensions. It is fit that the victims of this delusion should be treated with kindness and forbearance; and that, henceforth, they and the world, should be taught the necessary and important lesson, that he or she who pretends to supernatural and miraculous powers, whether planted upon the ramparts of philosophy, or enthroned upon the semblance of re- ligion itself, is uniformly and infallibly either a knave or a/ooi. It has been already noticed, that in the report of the commissioners appointed by the French Academy, ip 1784, of whom the celebrated Dr. Franklin was one. Animal Magnetism, thus, early in its history, had become " hurtful and dangerous to society, especially in a moral point of view." For, although the existence of Animal Magnetism was denied, yet the commissioners witness- ed enough to convince them of the extraordinary effects which artifice and imposture may produce on enfeebled intellects and over-heated imaginations. They there- fore felt it their duty to address a private memoir to the king, setting forth the serious injury to public morals, consequent upon its employment as a remedial agent. They referred to the physician, at whose instance the commission had been appointed, M. D'Eslon himself, as admitting that "a woman ia a high state of magnetic excitement, was not mistress of her own actions, and was incapable of resisting any attempts on her modesty." In Mr. Russel's tour in Germany, will be found the following melancholy evidence, that the practice called 5* 54 OP ANIMAL MAGNETISM. Animal Magnetism, has lost none of its demoralizing tendencies. " A melancholy instance of the pernicious results to which this may lead, was still the subject of general conversation when I arrived at Berlin. The principal actor in the affair was Dr. W , the great apostle of the doctrine in Prussia, and moreover a professor in the University. The unfortunate victim was a young lady of very respectable family. She had been led by curi- osity to visit the apartments in which the doctor per- forms the magnetical process on a number of patients, in presence of each other ; and it is at once a very de- cisive and intelligible fact, in that science, that females are found to be the most suitable subjects for its ex- ercise." Several experiments, which it is unnecessary to re- peat, were gone through for her satisfaction. " The lady departed, still in doubt ; but these amusing scenes had so far shaken her original skepticism, that the magician easily prevailed upon her to arrive at cer- tainty, by having the truth displayed in her own person. * * * * " To the poor girl conviction and juin came together i a miscreant could find little difficulty in abusing the mental imbecility which must always accompany such voluptuous fanaticism. I cannot enter into the details of the miserable and disgusting circumstances which followed. Excess of villainy brought the whole affair before a court of justice and the Prussian pubhc. It was clear that what was to become the living witness of their guilt had met with foul play ; and the enraged father pre- ferred against the professor an accusation of a crime which is next to murder, or rather which threatened a OF ANIMAL MAGNETISM. 55 double murder. The judges ordered the recipes of cer- tain medicines which the doctor had administered to the lady, to be submitted to three medical gentlemen for their opinion. The report of these gentlemen rendered it impossible to convict Dr. W of having used the drugs directly for his infamous purpose ; but, as in cer- tain circumstances, their indirect operation would lead to the same issue, the professional persons gave it as their opinion that the professor was bound to explain on what grounds he had administered medicines of a most suspicious class, in circumstances where no prudent medical man would have prescribed them. The man did not choose to do himself this justice ; the court did not think there was sufficient evidence to convict him of the direct charges. Professor W has lost his cha- racter, but retains his chair." — Vol. i., p. 102. Mr. Durant's late book gives some hints on this as- pect of the subject, which prove that these experiments in somnambulism, fictitious as he has proved the pre- tended phenomena to be, not only stamp the whole science with the character of humbug, but are alike cal- culated to brand it with infamy. Finally, it ought to be distinctly remembered that whatever may be the apparent mysteries, which have deluded any of those respectable men who have unwit- tingly given their names to this humbug, as exhibited in New- York and at Providence, that Mr. Durant has con- clusively proven by numerous unequivocal tests, that Miss Brpcket is not blind ; and that neither she, nor Mrs. An Iros, nor Miss Ayres, nor any one of the som- nambulists who have become celebrated in those places, were asleep during their alleged somnambuUsm. He applied his tests to them individually, and in a variety of 66 OF ANIMAL MAGNETISM. ways. It is also established by his experiments that these women all magnetize themselves ; that is, they go to sleep and they wake again precisely at the times which they think the magnetizer intends they should ; and when they misunderstand his will, or are purposely deceived in relation to it, they disappoint his expecta- tions. He has also proved that the bandages on their eyes do not prevent sight, especially if the object be placed at the epigastrium, as most of them requires ; and that when objects are seen at all they are invariably brought within the range of vision before they are placed at the pretended seat of sight, and that when this is pre- vented, the experiment is always a failure. The pro- cess by which pictures are examined, and other objects, at a distance, he has shown is by means of their ears, when they pretend to be deaf, and the parties are off their guard. And he thinks he has established the fact, that the girls are uniformly the knaves in the humbug, and the magnetizers as constantly are gulled. The fact of the concerted signals he sometimes detected, how- ever, seem to show that in some cases there was palpa- ble collusion. As to these and all other alleged proofs of clairvoy- , ance, and especially the success of somnambulists, in detecting and descrrbing diseases and their treatment, it may be sufficient to refer to the report of the recent French commissioners, heretofore alluded to, where these cases are all explained to be uniformly wrong, unless when their ears have been the medium of infor- mation, while seeming to be asleep and deaf, as in the case of the pictures, &c.^, before mentioned. In this famous report of which Mr. Colquhoun has made a voluminous work, it is but fair to state^ that they OP ANIMAL MAGNETIS^M. 57 made a report on the whole favourable to the humbug ; although the precious confessions it contains, annihi- late the validity of their cases, as they were extorted from men evidently prejudiced in its favour. This will appear obvious in the sequel. For after numerous ex- periments conducted by M. Foissae, at whose impor- tunity they had been commissioned, they declare that " the somnambulist failed in exhibiting any one of the phenomena which he had pledged himself to produce ;" and straightway they attribute this total failure to their own " inexperience and incredulity," and by conse- quence intimate, that had they been as gullible as the magnetizer, they might have reported differently. Next we tind them conducting experiments in which the som- nambulist resided in the- houses of the magnciizers them- selves; and then to prevent the natural impression of conspiracy, they gravely tell us that they " guarded against the possibility of any other collusion than that which might exist between the magnetizer and his pa- tient." This is the only collusion that any body sus- pected, and yet they did not guard against this, because it would imply suspicion against the integrity of the par- ties which would have been uncourteous. And never- theless, they were afterwards obliged to record their conviction, that " somnambulism itself may be feigned, and furnish to quackery the means of deception." These commisioners then proceed to classify the cases according to the " more or less conspicuous de- gree of the magnetic action recognized in each." The classes thus formed, including all the cases they saw during the period of six years, are the following : " I. Magnetism has no effect upon persons in a state of sound health, nor upon some diseased persons. II. In others, its effects are slight. 58 OP ANIMAL MAGNETISM. III. These effects are produced sometimes by en- nui, by monotony, by the imagination. IV. We have seen them developed independently of these last causes, most probably as the effect ot magnet- ism alone. Of the first three classes we need not here speak, for to talk of " magnetic effects, " in cases in vchich by their own concession it has " no effect," as in the first class, or' " slight" effects as in the second, or when the result of other causes, as in the third class, is unphi- losophical and absurd. The cases included in the fourth class can alone be relied on as relevant, and even here it is only affirmed that they most probably resulted from magnetism. Every reader of the cases reported under this class, will marvel how the committee ascer- tained that the " effects" were .not the result of the ima- gination, especially as they were so few and insignifi- cant, as scarcely to be appreciable. In the experiments intended to prove the existence of somnambulism among magnetic effects, the cases as reported are acknowledged to have been utter fail- ures. So also of the boasted faculty of clairvoyance, although some of them held the objects at the pit of the stomach, as does Mrs. Andros, and others placed them at the occiput, or the back part of the head as does Miss Bracket ; yet the French commissioners ad- mit that the ball of the eye, in all cases, was kept mov- ing in the direction of the object, and always looked at it before placing it either at the epigastrum or occiput. A bandage over the eyes, or even a sheet of paper inter- posed between their eyes and the object, uniformly de- prived them of the faculty of clairvoyance. And as to the miracle of looking into the body of another person, OF ANIMAL MAGNETISM. 59 or that oS^ prevision or prophesying, which the somnam- bulists attempted, the report proves that the whole pre- tence was delusion and imposture. But it were idle any longer to dwell upon the evi- dences before the world, both in ancient and modem times, that the whole art and mystery of Animal Mag- netism is unworthy of the attention of any sober mind, and that its miracles are wholly fictitious and delusive. And there is obviously abundant evidence before the reader, as well as in the nature of its processes, that the whole affair is not only a scandalous and mischievous humbug, disgraceful to all parties, the guUer and the gulled ; but that the practice ought to be reprobated by every friend to the good order and morals of the com- munity. Hence the deep regret which is so generally felt, that so many excellent men in the learned profes- sions, and others occupying high places in society, should incautiously have given their names and in- fluence to the advancement of this humbug. That this and kindred delusions should have prevailed in the dark ages, need not be a source of wonder ; but that it should receive countenance in the nineteenth century, demon- strates the present to be indeed the age of humbug. In order to detect the true character of Animal Mag- netism, and demonstrate it to be a stupenduous humbug if we were without any of the evidences which its history furnishes, it would only be necessary to admit its truth but for a moment ; and we shall see that to suppose its existence to the extent claimed, proves too much, and therefore proves nothing. It is thus that the professors of any humbug can be made to stultify themselves. For example, if the claims of the science are true, it follows, that certain persons possess a power over cer- 60 OF ANIMAL MAGNETISM. tain other persons, by which they can at any time, or at any distance, by a simple volition, produce magnetic sleep ; and this, whether the subjects of this involuntary and irresistible sleep be standing, sitting, walking, or running, at home or abroad, by sea or by land. And this sleep thus willed by another, without the consent of its victim, is so profound that it is impossible to awake the sleeper by any process. The senses are all closed, and no person but the raagnetizer has power to arouse the sleeper. It is plain, then, that the magnetizer may destroy human life at pleasure ; since if the individual over whom he has this power, be in a position in which sleep would be fatal, he has only to put forth the voli- tion, and the deed is done. And in the commission of this and other crimes, he would have perfect impunity, since there are no laws of evidence in human jurispru- dence, by which guilt could be established. Besides, if the claims of the " science, falsely so called," have any foundation, these sleepers may be privy to all the deeds of darkness and secrecy which are performed in any place however distant ; for neither darkness, dis- tance, nor any physical obsti uction hinders their clairvoy- ance ; and no other police for the detection of criminals need be desired than a few "sleeping beauties," who might be hourly consulted, especially in reference to any suspicious per'sons or houses, and to whom, as to a di- vine oracle, appeal might be made, when no other vigil- ance can prevail. And as prevision is also claimed as a faculty of these somnambulists, future events may be anticipated, if not prevented. So also there would be an annihilation of all our hos- pitals, and medical colleges, and physicians ; for these " medecins endormez " would detect and cure all OF ANIMAL MAGN~ETISM. 61 manner of diseases, by looking into the inside of the stomach, bowels, liver, spleen, lungs, brain, or any other organ of the body, and describing the disease as well as naming the remedy. For all this and much more has been and is still claimed by the professors of Animal Magnetism as fully established ; and all this is as credi- ble and as true as any other feature of the contemptible humbug. It cannot be doubted that if this imposture should continue to gain credence or countenance in the com- munity, the infatuation and crimes of the days of Salem witchcraft are to be re-enacted in our times. For should an individual be found dead, having fallen into the fire, it will be ascribed by superstitious believers in the hum- bug, to some neighbouring or distant magnetizer, whose witchery has done the deed. And who shall control the popular indignation, or limit the infliction of the penalties of the Lynch code, should the superstitions of Animal Magnetism become a public and reigning humbug. The purest characters in the community may wither beneath the calumnies of these clairvoyant " factory girls" who may accuse their neighbours of crimes, which they profess to witness during a magnetic reverie ; nor can such'calumnies become the subject of litigation with the view to punishment and reparation, since no known code of laws can be brought to bear in the premises. All who believe in the humbug, for consistency sake, are bound to receive the testimony of these somnambulists as to what they profess to have seen and heard while asleep, and to bear them harmless from the conse- quences of their discoveries, inasmuch as they are the involuntary victims of this wonderful and mystic phi- losophy. 6 62 OP ANLMAL MAGNETISM. But enough has been said to satisfy all who think, that the science is a humbug ; its practitioners knaves, and its believers dupes. Should public gullibility still perpetuate the stupid delusion, may it be confined henceforth to the ignorant and depraved ;_and such will ultimately abandon it, when it ceases to be profitable. CHAPTER III. PHRENOLOGY. Its origin and claims to antiquity — doctrines — deceptive title — causes which have prolonged its existence — love of the marvellous — the anatomy of the skull — brain — scalp — mem- branes, &c — phrenological /acfj — not in Anatomy, not in physiology, or Pathology, or Mental or Moral Philosophy — inconsistent with Revelation — all the facts are like those of other fortune-tellers — examples of their facts — explanation of the tricks of the sect in gulling fools — moral aspect — ridi- culous noinenclature — maps of their own brains — Spurzheim, a believer in Animal Magnetism — proof of his gullibility, in- compatibility of Phrenology with Christianity. This " science falsely so called," is among the pre- valent and prevailing humbugs of the day ; and it is placed next to Animal Magnetism in the present vol- ume, because of its claiming to be of similar antiquity, and of kindred character too ; since both profess to be eminently philosophical. The same individuals who embrace the one, very frequently become the willing disciples of the other ; and it is fortunate for the interests of true science, and for the character of our common nature, that both are equally vulnerable to defeat and overthrow, since each of them is capable of great and complicated mischiefs. It will not be in place here to enlarge upon the early iKstory and great antiquity of those theories which have 64 PHRENOLOGY. led men to attempt the explication of the phenomena of mind by physical signs, although all these are now quo- ted in confirmation of the doctrines of Phrenology. It will be sufficient for our purpose to flame Dr. Gall as the modern founder of the system at present reigning under this name ; and to ascribe to his illustrious pupil Dr. Spurzheim the merit, if it be such, of having devoted his learning, industry,and eloquence, to the establishment of the doctrines of his distinguished preceptor, with a zeal worthy of a better cause. The doctrines of Phrenology may be briefly stated to be the following : 1st. The brain is the organ of all our instincts, — pro- pensities, — sentiments, — aptitudes, — intellectual fac- ulties, — and moral qualities. 2d. Each of these has a portion of the brain which is specially appropriated to it, and the developement of these " little brains" or organs is manifested on the cra- nium or skull ; and by examining these protuberances or bumps, an adept in the science can ascertain and describe the dispositions, and intellectual and moral (Aaracter of any individual. This brief summary of the doctrines may suffice, since they will serve to show the " primordial ideas " on which the system is based ; and without pursuing the subject any further, the reader may estimate the charac- ter and claims of Phrenology, since the whole may be correctly judged by a part, especially by the corner stone of the entire edifice. The name given to the science would lead us to ex- pect that its foundations would be laid in consistency with the established laws of mental and moral philosophy, since it arrogates the title of the "science of mind." PHRENOLOGY. 65 Instead of which, however, it will be perceived that the whole fabric is ostensibly built upon the anatomy of a ma- terial organ ; and goes upon the bald hypothesis that the brain, which is the most frail, delicate, and important structure of the body, in its growth and developement, not only moulds the form of Ihe head in the plastic and yielding condition of infancy, but that the exercise or cultivation of any particular faculty, instinct, or moral quality, so increases the part of the brain which is the supposed locality or organ of that faculty, as to result in a " prominence, protuberance, or bump," upon the external surface of the skull, by which the form, shape, and configuration of the bony casement is so essentially modified and changed, that the phrenologist can detect and describe the intellectual and moral character of the individual, by seeing and feeling the head. The intrin- sic absurdity and nonsense of this starting point of the system would have written the epitaph of Phrenology long since, but for three causes ; to the combined influ- ence of which, this hiimbug owes its prolonged and temporary existence. These causes are the following : 1st. The array of [great names, including those of learned and scientific men, who have cultivated and taught it, and dignified it by the misnomer of philosophy and science. 2d. The ridicule and persecution of its votaries, by which alone it has been chiefly opposed ; for, like every other species of fanaticism, it is thus enabled to enUst public sympathy, and impose Upon popular credulity. 3d. The native gullibility of human nature, by which a natural bias exists in most men, and women too, to believe the marvellous, or the supernatural, without evidence ; while sober truth, accompanied by ample 6* 66 fhrenologV. testimony, is rejected, or at least listened to with doubt and incredulity. The two former causes have so obviously operated in perpetuating and sustaining Phrenology, that they re- quire no illustration. The latter, however, will not be so readily admitted ; for most men can better bear the impeachment of their integrity, than an insinuation ad- verse to their intelligence. They seem to prefer blame to pity, — the charge of impostors to that of dupes, — and had rather be regarded as knaves, than supposed to be fools. In other words, a man seems often to prefer any measure of reproach and contumely, even for moral delin- quency, rather than to be written down an ass. There is but one way, however, to escape the dreaded alternative, which is to admit into our creed the unwelcome axiom "this world is given to lying ;" or in the quaint expres- sion of one, " there is the least dependence to be placed upon mankind, o( any people in the world." One would think a priori that no anatomist could ever become a believer in Phrenology, so irresistible are the evidences of its fallacy which the structure of the skull itself presents ; especially when taken in connexion with the endless variety in the thickness of the bones composing it, and the universal dissimmilarity between the internal structure of those bones, in different heads, by conformation, casualty, disease, and the artificial means employed by many pagan nations for modifying the shape of the head. And yet it is true that the founders and chief writers of the science, have excelled many of their fellows as anatomists, and become, be- lievers in despite of the palpable and insurmountable difficulties which anatomy has been ever forcing upon tjieir attention. It is worthy of remark, however, that PHRENOLOGY. 67 Ihey have bestowed all their labour and ingenuity in searching within the brain itself, for analogies and proofs of their theory, while most strangely and inconsistently they have overlooked the infantile separation of the se- veral bones of the skull ; their gradual growth and bony union ; their firm and unyielding construction acquired by maturity ; and the physical impossibilities which these features of the skull itself present, as an argumentum ad hominem, against all they have written. For it must be obvious that after they have exhausted all their labour and ingenuity in the dissection of the brain ; and even on the absurd supposition, that they could demonstrate each individual organ by its separate and distinct formation, and prove incontestably the spe- cific capacity of each ; still they would not gain an ad- vance of a single step towards the establishment of the pretensions of their science, since the particular struc- ture of the brain cannot be ascertained in any individual case, until after death, when the deductions of the sys- tem could in no wise increase our stock of practical knowledge, or, in the least, benefit the living. It is plain, then, that Prenologists, while busying them- selves in vainly searching for evidences of their system in the brain itself, have not only been fruitlessly em- ployed, but they have begun at the wrong end, and built their pyramid upon its apex. They have done nothing,— they can do nothing which can commend their system, or gain confidence among the discerning, until the anatomy of the head, apart from that of the brain, shall be shown to favour their views ; or at least, they must remove the physical impossibilities which the structure of the bony and soft parts constituting the covering of the brain, so palapably throw in their way. 68 PHRENOLOGY. Let the uninitiated reader learn, that the human brain is entirely covered within the skull by three distinct tu- nics or coats, which are called the dura mater, the pia mater, and the arachnoid coat, and which separately in- terpose between the brain itself and the interior of the cranium. Let such then be informed, that the skull it- self is composed of two tables or layers of bone, sepa- rated by a third or intermediate layer of cellular struc- ture called the diploce, and often by cavities of greatei; or less extent, utterly unascertainable during life ; and that a membrane called the pericranium is superadded within and without; closely adhering to the several bones. And let him still further be instructed in the fact, that outside of the skull, between the fingers of the phrenolo- gist, and the bumps he is pretending to examine, there are muscles or tendinous expansions of muscles, with all their accompanying membranes,, blood vessels and nerves, together with the cellular structure, and difierent coats of the skin constituting the hairy scalp, and he will have a glimpse at the physical impossibilities which explode the dogmas of this humbug, however much of ingenuity, learning, and eloquence may be employed in its defence. The conclusion of any rational man who will consider these premises, will be irresistible, and irrefragable ; that even on the supposition of the distinct and separate existence of the thirty-five organs in the structure "of the brain, being visible and tangible on its surfaces, which is not pretended ; and on the still further hypothesis that we were acquainted with the precise size and capacity of each of these organs with its ap- propriate function ; we should still be wholly in the dark in relation to any judgement we might form, during the life of the individual, because of the numerous inter- tH REN OLOGY. 69 Vening obstacles, and their ever varying thickness in different heads. For, had we all this knowledge, we must first scaZ/j the individual, after the fashion of our aborigi- nal neighbours, and we should still find it necessary to remove the upper part of the skull ; nor even then could we learn the size or location of the organs, until the intervening membranes were removed. And should we thus operate upon a man, and expose the entire cerebrum to the vision of the phrenologist, he would find, by comparing the elevations on the surface of the brain, with the internal table of the skull which covered itj- that there was no evidence or impression of the pro- minent organs, however long they might have been cul- tivated or exercised during life ; — and upon examining the cap of the skull he would discover ; that th° bump on the external surface, would very often preset* a con- vexity instead of a concavity ivithin; and still farther, that the elevations and depressions upon the surface of the brain itself, in no one instance Correspond with those discoverable on the external superficies of the cranium. And yet in ths face of such testimony of the senses, there are multitudes who adhere with the tenacity of a death grasp, to every jot and tittle of the new philoso- phy, and popular delusion continues to render it'an at- tractive and profitable humbug. Men and women of reason and religion, who eschew fortune-telling, witch- craft, and astrology, will nevertheless, submit their own heads, and th6se of their sons and daughters, to these fortune-tellers, who itinerate through the country like other strolling mountebanks, for the purpose of living without labour, by practising upon public gullibility. But not only does the anatomy of the skull thus present insuperable barriers to the credibility of phrenology, but 70 PHRENOLOGY. the structure of the brain itself, affords not the slightest authority for the arbitrary and ridiculous divisions into which the sect have consented to dissect it. So far from these hypothetical " organs " being found, to exist any where but in the prohfic imagination of these vision- - aries, there are natural and actual divisions in the brain which are not only inconsistent with the artificial ones, but which wholly overthrow the possibility of their ex- istence. The multiplied and beautiful convolutions of the brain, and which are not only visible on its surface, but dis- cernible throughout its entire structure by careful dis- section, completely overthrow the possibility of the ex- istence of the pretended separate organs ; not only be- cause each of these convolutions cross from one organ into another, of different and even opposite functions ; but they are often themselves divided, by the imaginary line which separates the one organ from the other; so that parts of the same convolution of the brain, must not only perform these various and essentially different offi- ces ; but must be active in one portion, and inactive in another. And as the organs are described to be of in- verted conical or pyramidal form, the apex being at the medulla oblongata, or the inferior portion of the cere- brum, and radiating to the surface next the skull ; it is plain that every organ must be formed, wholly irrespec- tive of these convolutions ; the lines which divide the one from the other passing longitudinally, transversely, and diagonally through their successive layers. Not only so, but these imaginary lines must pass through the ven- tricles, the corpus callosum, the fornix, the pulpy and the fibrous portions indiscriminately, so that each organ includes more or less of these intricate and delicate PHRENOLOGY. 71 structures, and many of them are by the ventricles cut asunder in the middle. And as these ventricles contain fluid, we must suppose that there is an upper and lower part of some organs, separated by water or serum, the one from the other, so that they are not only double, but quadruple ! Another conclusive fact in refutation of this wild scheme is seen in the essential difference there is in the convolutions of one hemisphere of the brain, and those of the opposite side, although the organ is located by the sect in precisely the same relative position in each hemisphere. If such organs really exist on each side of the head, destined jointly to perform the same office, it would be indeed an anomaly in the animal economy, that they should be entirely dissimilar in their structure ; for the variations between the opposite organs will ex- hibit such dissimilarity. In short, if Phrenology were in any sense entitled to belief, in accordance with the economy of nature, the organs should all be double or none, while the science lays down a number of single organs, and others double ; and still worse, there is no provision in nature, as in other cases, for one of these to perform the function of the other when disabled ; and both have been removed by disease, and the function remained unimpaired ! The natural divisions of the brain into the cerebrum, the cerebellum, and the medulla oblongata, and the equally palpable difference between the cortical and medullary portions, together with the distinct variety of beautiful structures which lie in the base of the cere- brum, are all well defined and cognizable by the anato- mist. But the most powerful microscope has never re- vealed the existence of any one of the localities, or 72 PHRENOLOGY. phrenological " organs" so called, although probably mil- lions of human brains have been dissected for the purpose of finding and establishing them. And though such are the facts upon which alone the pretended science could be logically based, not one such has ever been furnished, although the party are even proclaiming thai facts ! facts ! facts ! are the foundation of the science. It is plain, then, that if there he facts favourable to the science, they are not to be found in the anatomy of the parts concerned ; and we shall be equally unsuccessful if we search for them in the physiology of the brain, not- withstanding, the brilliant discoveries which learned men have been making in this department of the profession. While the pathological observations of centuries have demonstrated, that the removal of a part of the brain by accident or disease, amounting in some instances to an absolute destruction of a portion of its substance, includ- ing a score or more of single and double organs, has been followed by no diminution or change in the in- tellectual or moral faculties ; so that all the ^^ facts" of pathology are against them. Nor need reference be had to the obvious truth, that mental and moral philoso- phy, highly cultivated as this department of science has been, by many of the most gifted minds in the universe, is utterly overthrown by Phrenology. And that the science of Christianity, and the book of Revelation is entirely at variance with Phrenology, needs no other proof than the fact every where apparent, that all the hosts of infidelity are marshalled in its favour, while its originators, propagators, and proviinent teachers, from Gall and Spurzheim down to Amariah Brigham, M. D., have been either skeptics or free thinkers, Deists or Atheists, neologists or materialists. PHRKNOLOGY. 73 Where, then, are the " facts " by which this humbug is professedly sustained, and by which so many of our citizens are gulled into its reception 1 They are to be sought after, and only to be found in the experiments of the sect upon the heads of their dupes. A professor of phrenology applies his "tacius regalis" to the bumps of some blockhead, and pours into his ears the discov- ery that he has " organs " (jualifying him for great lite- rary and moral elevation; capacities to excel in this, that, or the other art or science, and propensities leading him to some particular employments. If a developement of the total failure of the mystic science be then shown by the character and acknowledged habits of the ir- li- vidual, still though he be proverbially an ass, he never- theless has the " organs," and might have been a Solon. What he is we know, — what he might have been, we know not, and of course dare not contradict this " Phre- nological/act." A thousand of such " facts" can be furnished by any itinerant pedler in the wares of phre- nology ; and, as in Animal Magnetism, the failure of the somnambulist nine times out often, is no argument against the single fact of her success in one single in- stance ; so the phrenologist claims that one single " fact" of correctly interpreting a particular bump is " confirmation strong as holy writ," since " facts are stubborn things," while failures are incidental to every system, and are all easily disposed of by the arts of the party. " An amusing circumstance has lately come to light as connected with Mr. Combe's work, and his phrenolo- gical facts, It will be recollected by any one who has read it, — and a more entertaining work on phrenology does not exist, — how often he supports his views by 7 74 PHRENOLOGr. drawings of Raphael's skull, compared with the sknfis of people noted for deficiency in imaginative and picto- rial talent. An extremely ingenious and well written paper published in the Phrenological Journal, Vol. ii. p. 327, also traces the minutest shades of Raphael's cha- racter and disposition in the protuberances of this same skull. It now appears, the skull no more belonged to Raphael than to Judas Iscariot ! Raphael's tomb was opened but the other day, and his skeleton was found per- fect, skull and all!" See For. Q. Review, Oct. 1833, p. 438; And yet this is one of the phrenological /aci«.' which Spurzheim and others have been proclaiming with trumpet-tongue, to furnish so ample proof of phre- nology. Thus, when an illiterate, stupid, indolent, and conceit- ed knave is told by the phrenologist that the develope- ments of his " organs " indicate that he is, or may become readily, a linguist, a philosopher, and a saint ; he " lays the flattering unction to his soul," and forthwith pays his fee, and departs with his " character" in his pocket, and is recorded as another of the "stupendous facts of the sublime science." And although this may be re- garded as an extreme case, yet the most skilful practi- tioner on public credulity in this department, furnishes similar " facts," and becomes himself humbugged by his own gullibility. Phrenologists are keen enough to discern that flattery is a correct coin among their dupes; and hence they are careful to discover in the bumps so many good qualities, as to counteract the bad ones, and then throw in a few faculties in conformity with the les- son they have all learned, that " the art of pleasing, consists in sending every one away, well pleased with themselves." Acting on this maxim, they are ever PH RE N O I. O G V, 75 making converts to their humbug, even from the ranks of opposers, by the magic and mystic words, " A re- markable head," a " capital study for a phrenologist," " most have a cast," " remarkably intellectual," " sin- gular developement of individuality, causality and form," " great ideality," " very large benevolence," " promi- nent veneration and caution," *' very little combative- ness," " small destructiveness," " the animal propensi- ties not much developed," &c. &c. ; and many a physi- cian, lawyer, and clergyman have been brought over to phrenology, by the fancied evidence of talents which its professors point out upon their heads ; and often when nobody else has ever been able to discover that they were above mediocrity. Indeed there are many fools, who are wise in their own conceit, because forsooth, some strolling mountebank has sold them a phrenological chart, and a description of character as indicated by their bumps. Such great men, owing their greatness to the discoveries of the science, are clamorous in its praise, and zealous in its, defence. They occasionally have their zeal moderated, and their conceit lowered by find- ing that one lecturer on this humbug discovers upon their heads the presence or absence of bumps, entirely opposite to the indications pointed out by others; though all of them contrive to please, by sufficiently sprinkling the spice of flattery into the phrenological dish, which is served up for these victims of humbug, whose " or- gan of self-esteem" is often so large, that it extends from head to heel. The moral aspect of phrenological doctrines is that, however, which renders the humbug the most mischiev- ous and deplorable. Multitudes go to the science for the purpose of easing a loaded conscience, by learning 76 PHRENOLOGY. that their delinquencies and vices are constitutional, and depending wholly on organization. Such find a false peace, — an imaginary comfort in the doctrine, thatvirtue and vice are alike the result of organs implanted by the Creator, and thus persuade themselves into the disbelief of human accountability. And learning, as they do, that they are irresistibly under the influence of their pro- pensities to which the animal organs impel them, they despair of reformation, notwithstanding its necessity is so obvious to themselves and others. And here they are taught to regard the lascivious man to be prompted by the organ of " amativeness," formed by the muscles of the neck ; — the liar to be driven by the developeraent of " secretiveness," — the thief by that of " acquisitive- ness," — " the desperado by " combativeness," — the drunkard by " alimentiveness," — and the murderer by " destructiveness." While on the other hand, the vir- tues of charity, truth, honesty, peaceableness, and broth- ly kindness are the results either of the absence or di- minished size of these organs, or the counteracting in- fluence of others. Hence a man is religious, or other- wise, by reason of a physical necessity, since the promi- nence, or the depression of the top of the head, where the organs of veneration, theosophy, and marvellousness are located, must irresistibly result in one or the other character. But we must not call this materialism or fatalism, else a hue and cry of persecution is raised, as though the sympathy of heaven and earth should be moved in behalf of this precious humbug. One can scarcely suppress his laughter at the com- placency with which phrenologists boast of the pro- digious novelty, ingenuity, and convenience of their nomenclature, and the newly coined words it has intro- PHRENOLOGY. 77 duced into our language. That it possesses the attribute o[ simplicity, cannot be denied ; for he must be a simple- ton indeed, who does not take the idea conveyed by " alimentiveness, philoprogenitiveness, combativeness, and destimctiveness." It is matter of wonder that they did not adopt among their classical technicalities, " guUibili- tiveness, humbugitiveness, phrenologitiveness," all of which might be introduced as synonymes for the organ of wonder or marvellousness ; and would be equally elegant, besides being both significant and appropriate. Nor is their " map of regions," less ludicrous, since, with all the accuracy of a geometrician, with compasses and rule, they gravely describe on paper a map of their own brains ; discoursing learnedly and eloquently upon each particular organ, and indicating its locality with as much minuteness as that with which the modern Sir John Herschel described the geography of the moon by the aid of his phrenological telescope. Next, they mark on the skull of some luckless wight, or upon their plaster busts, the mystic numbers of the thirty-five organs ; and then draw black lines around each in imita- tion of " the illustrious expunger," who is probably a phrenologist, and may have derived the process from this sublime science. But still more, they provide casts in imitation of the brain itself; and they mark these with their magic figures and beautiful nomenclature, until every man may hold the model in his hands, and by the aid of phrenology, read the arcana of his own brains. And, provided with these paraphernalia of office, every wiseacre of the party is at once dubbed a professor of the celestial humbug, and prepared to enlighten the na- tion into all the intricacies of mental and moral science ; while in the capacity of a phrenological fortune-teller, 7* 78 PHRENOLOGY. he strolls through the country in search of subjects on whom to experiment, by fumbling their heads in pursuit of" facts" in the form of phrenological bumps. Such is a sacj,- but true picture of the reign of humbug in this de- partment, while popular credulity" still prolongs the delusion. From what has been said, without any further ampli- fication, the reader may form an accurate conception of the system ; and be able to understand the authorities for the " map of regions,'' which has been laid down on the surface of the head, by which the various faculties and propensities are located. This may be seen in the various busts and drawings, which are sufficiently nu- merous in every part of the country, and which are potent in making uninitiated rustics stare and wonder at the mysteries of the philosophy of their own brains. The reader will perceive that phrenology is only an extension of the science of physiognomy, though pos- sessing infinitely less philosophy and truth. For while Lavater interpreted the expression and form of the coun- tenance, as indicative of the mental constitution and character, yet he rehed upon the visible and tangible action of the muscles of the face, which, to a great ex- tent, are acknowledged to be under the influence of volition and habit. But Dr. Gall relies upon the invisi- ble and intangible action, which he gratuitously supposes the brain to perform ; and which, if it really existed, must necessarily be unappreciable, because of the solidity and thickness of the bones of the cranium, after the age of puberty ; although he and his disciples con- tend for the validity of their maps of developements, dur- ing every period of hfe, even to advanced age. And the important circumstances, so often mentioned, that PHRENOLOGY. 79 the departnrents of the brain, which phrenology desig- nates with so much accuracy and minuteness, neither agree with the natural divisions of the brain, which are so remarkable, nor with the metaphysical classification of the mental phenomena, has neither been gainsayed nor refuted. But even on the admission of the whole of the "pri- mordial ideas," still it would be easy to show that the artificial division and appropriation of the functions to distinct localities, as taught by phrenology, is wholly arbitrary and fictitious. This will be obvious, when the reader is informed that the first grand discovery of Dr. Gall, and which has led to the whole of the numbers and localities which the maps of the regions exhibit, as subsequently laid down by himself and others, was made under the following circumstances : He observed, while yet at school, that all his fellows who were distin- guished at the public examinations, were indebted for their success to an extraordinary memory, and that they all had very prominent eyes. This remarkable coinci- dence, led him irresistibly to the conclusion, that there must be some mysterious connexion between a good memory and a profusion of the eye-balls from the socket; such as that for which some persons are so remarkable. And, on this momentous thought having taken posses- sion of his brain, at once he leaped to the still further conclusion, that every other faculty must be connected with other external conformations. But for this accidental discovery of the organ of me- mory, being located in the eyes, and its perfection being developed by their size and prominence, the world might have yet been in the dark whether we had any " organs ;" nor should we be possessed of a map of our own brains, 80 PHRENOLOGY. which is now, thanks to Dr. Gall, the privilege of every man and woman in Christendom. But while Dr. Gall located this organ of memory in the eyes, his pupil. Dr. Spurzheim, denominates it " the organ of language ;" by which term he means to convey the idea, that "prominent eyes" indicate not only phi- lological memory, but an aptitude for the study of lan- guages. All phrenologists agree in attributing the faculty of speech, and the power of articulating sounds to the eyes, and great skill in the use of language to their prominence. And Dr. Gall Used to exhibit in proof of this ridiculous conceit, the cranium of a lunatic who was unable to articulate words, in which the roofs of the orbits were arched, and this organ small ; or, in other words, the eyes were not prominent. As this faculty is avowedly the origin of all the dis- coveries made by Gall, and the cause of all his re- searches, as well as the foundation of the whole science of phrenology, the reader who will acquaint himself with the anatomy of the eye, and the causes nf its prom- inence, may readily satisfy himself that this " corner- stone" of the entire edifice, is a mere fiction and fable. Nor can he persuade himself to believe that the struc- , ture and relative position of the human eye, while it is so admirably adapted by the Creator for the purposes of vision, is at the same time designed to impart \he faculty of speech, and the articulation of sounds, for which it has no degree of adaptation, while locally disconnected with those organs, whose elaborate structure indicates their design and use for this important and essentially different function. And yet all the phrenological au- thorities will be found to inculcate the doctrine, that " large and prominent eyes " indicate the developement PHRENOLOGY. 81 of " the organ of memory and language," though Spurz- heim is so very particular as to inform us that for the perfection of this organ we are to look, not merely for " large and prominent eyes, but at the same time, pres- sed, as it were! towards the lower part of the orbit;" a coincidence which will be found in practice to be as scarce as instances of lohile crows. This appendage of Spurzheim, appears to have been designed to meet the objections to the science which were constantly multiplying upon the hands of practitioners in this art and mystery, who found thousands of examples, in which " large and prominent eyes," were connected with a deficiency both in " memory and language." He, there- fore, adds to the description of the organ that the " large and prominent eyes must, at the same time, be pressed towards the lower part of the orbit," and the convenient words " as it were," are parenthetically introduced for wise and obvious purposes. With such an equivocal definition of signs, a common fortune-teller would rival the most acute phrenologist in developing character. And, we need hardly add, that as the " science" is as applicable to all other animals as man, that no human example of the perfect developement of " the organ of language and memory " can be produced, which will at all compare with the claims possessed by an Owl ! We have dwelt a moment on this first discovery of Dr. Gall, because it was the origin and cause of all his researches, the primum mobile of the whole machinery of the system. And as this philosopher was impelled by so pure a fiction, to proceed in the location of the faculties and propensities in the various parts of the brain, it is not to be wondered at, that the divisions which he and his followers have successively discovered, marked, 82 PHRENOLOGY. aad numbered upon their maps and casts, should, like the first, be wholly arbitrary ; nor will it be found, that any one of them possesses any greater claim to our confidence, either drawn from philosophy or facts; though of the latter, they are ever proclaiming them- selves the discoverers and inventors ; and upon these alone they profess to rely. Another specimen of the facts, upon which phrenology has authoritr lively located the " organs " of the human mind, and an exhibition of the slender basis on which these localities rest, may be seen in the " love of off- spring," which Spurzheim calls the propensity of " phi- loprogenitiveness," and which both he and his illustrious master, place in the posterior and inferior part of the head ; and when much developed, forming a large prominehce above the centre of the neck. The reader must preserve his gravity, while the history of this "discovery" is thus accurately developed by a distinguished phrenologist. " Dr. Gall had long known that the back part of the head was more prominent in females, children, and monkeys, than in men, but was utterly unable to account for this wondrous /aci, even after he had long believed and taught the science. At last, however, a clergyman who attended his lectures, led him to the true solution of this problem, which had so long puzzled his brains, by reminding him that the 'love of offspring' was remarkable in %vmnen! and female monkeys !" This striking collocation and astonishing coincidence, conclusively estabhshed the organ of "phi- loprogenitiveness," as it is now called ; and it has since received conclusive confirmation by another prodigious fact, discovered by the lamented Spurzheim, that it is this organ -which induces young girls to play with dolls !" PHRENOLOGV. S3 Such are a Cew examples of the facts upon which every " facuhy, propensity, and sentiment" of man and all other animals, lave been laid down in maps of the brain, with more than mathematical precision.; and they and their definite localities are now learnedly spoken of with magisterial authority. But we forbear to enlarge on these several topics, and shall confine our observations to a few of those which present the science in its moral aspect ; and, as we think, demonstrate its infidel ten- dencies. And the first of these we would present, is the " organ of moral sense," or " benevolence ;" for these dispositions, according to the system, are owing to the " developement " on the " superior, anterior part of the head, just above the forehead." From the universal presence of this " organ," phrenologists maintain that " man is naturally good ;" and that " the question so often agitated among philosophers, whether man is born with a disposition to good or evil," has been settled definitely by the " science." It is scarcely necessary to say, that the authority of Revelation is here utterly rejected, and the multiplied testimonies of the Bible denied ; nor need we add, that the history of every na- tion under heaven, demonstrates the fallacy of the posi- tion, and of the system which inculcates it. Immediately in a neighbouring locality, on the upper part of the head, is the "> organ of marvellowsness," or " the love uf supernatural objects," while near the crown of the head is the " organ of theosophy," which Spurzheim divides into three " organs," viz. " veneration," " con- scientiousness," and " hope." Upon these several organs depend, according to the system, the dispositions to see and believe in visions, ghosts, witches, and supernatural revelations, together with all belief in the existence of a 84 PHRENOLOGY. God, all idea of a Supreme Being, all propensity towards worship, devotion, piety, love of God, idolatry, &c. &c. And it can scarcely be necessary to remark, that this single fact — that all these dissimilar and even opposite sentiments, in which good and evil, virtue and vice, reality and delusion, truth and falsehood, are mingled in heterogeneous combination ; and yet all ascribed to the same "organs" and " developements," — is enough to brand the' system which recognises such absurdity, not merely with infidel character and tendency, but with profound stupidity and folly. And to exhibit the immo- rality of such a vile imposture upon public credulity, if it were at all needful, would be easy, by simply repeating the opinions of Gall and Spurzheim, in their arguments in favour of the validity of their designation of these organs. Alluding to those who beUeve in ghosts, vis- ions, and witches, and indeed in any supernatural reve- lations ; they tell us, that " this disposition which loves what is astonishing, mysterious, or miraculous, is the immediate result of a particular organization ; and it would be as unjust to accuse those endowed with it, of imposture, as it would be to censure poets for imbody- ing and personifying their ideas ; for they are only the slaves of a too energetic action of one part of the brain." If this be not sublimated impiety, materialism, and fa- talism, we know not where these characteristics are to be found ; and that such sentiments annihilate all moral distinctions between truth and falsehood, vice and virtue, is too obvious to need comment. And yet they go on to tell us, that in the creation of the organ of marvelious- ness, NATURE had views and intentions, which serve to strengthen our faith, and fortify our belief, and thus nature, not the " God of nature," is represented to be the " author of faith." PHRENOLOGV. 85 But, in relation to the " organ of theosophy," or " vene- ration," these phrenologists more distinctly disclose their gross and unmingled atheism. Here we are taught that " some persons, for want of this organ, have no capacity for religious instruction, while others, who possess the organ, receive it with the greatest eager- ness ;" and surely if there be those who have " no ca- pacity " for religion, because of their " physical organi- zation," their accountability is annihilated ; and those who are religious, because of a different organization, are equally victims of uncontrollable destiny; nor can virtue or vice be predicated in either case. Indeed, all this and more, is unblushingly avowed ; for they affirm that " our ideas on all subjects depend on our being furnished with organs to originate, or to give birth to them ; and we have an idea of God, as we have love of offspring, benevolence, &c., because we have an organ fitted for such a purpose." And still they maintain that man, wherever he is found, has the "organ of theosophy," and hence a " sentiment of the existence of the Divini- ty is innate, and inherent in our nature." And yet they add, that there is a great difference between this senti- ment and the revelations, dogmas, mysteries, &c., of different religious sects. And it is obvious, that the revelations of Christianity, and of the Bible, are here aimed at as among the religious sects, whose dogrnas and mysteries phrenology disclaims. This disclaimer might have been spared, however, since there is a mutual and irrepressible repulsion, which must eternally separate phrenology from Christianity ; and, we think, sufficient evidence is now before the reader, that from the nature of this science, falsely so called, its votaries must not 86 PHRENOLOGY. only believe ours to be literally " a world without souts," but equally " without God." Among the distinguished men, however, who it must be granted have cultivated and promoted phrenological investigations, and who are not to be classed with the strolling pedlers of the science whom they despised, Dr. Gall's celebrated and distinguished pupil and coadju- tor, Dr. Spurzheim, deserves honourable mention. But great as were his talents, industry, learning and elo- quence, all of which he zealously consecrated to phre- nology, and to which science he devoted his life, everi to martyrdom ; yet no one can candidly peruse his work without perceiving evidence of his proneness to fanati- cism. Whether this was constitutional, and the fruit of the " organ of marvellousness" in his upper story, we need not determine. The single fact that he was an admirer of Animal Magnetism, and a believer iri its humbugs, is of itself decisive in relation to the calibre of his gullible organs; and we might a priori anticipate that the kindred humbug of phrenology would be an ob- ject of his faith. But there are other palpable evidences in the works of this truly great man, which amply show that while rejecting divine testimony to some of the most important doctrines of Revelation, he was never- theless, credulous to a fault in regard to every thing claiming to be supernatural or miraculous, when its ad- vocates disclaimed the agency of Deity, and alleged science and philosophy as explaining the causation of the phenomena. Hence the enthusiasm with which he embraced and adhered to phrenology. But it were needless to enlarge on this and kindred topics, which will suggest themselves to the reader. PHRENOLOLGY. 87 since it is only nacessary for any individual to inquire into the opinions of the leading writers, professors, lec- turers, and practitioners of phrenology, on the subject of the inspiration of the Scriptures, and revealed reli- gion, and ample evidence will be furnished that the re- ception of this miscalled science is incompatible with a belief in the truths of Scriptural Christianity. And al- though it is not insinuated that " facts" are to be denied, or " philosophical truths" rejected, because of their con- flicting, or seeming to do so, with the prevailing views of Divine Revelation, yet the existence of such contra- riety is a valid reason for our scrutinizing the alleged "facts and /j'mpealed to in proof that error is in its own nature, adverse to morality and religion. Nor is this tendency the reason, or any reason for rejecting the " science," but is superadded to the substantial reasons found in Anatomy, Physio- logy, Intellectual and Moral Philosophy, as well as in the intrinsic absurdities and monstrosities of the sys- tem itself. And it is only after establishing and sus- taining the position, that the whole fabric of phrenology is absurd, its pretensions -false, its boasted "facts" un- founded, and its philosophy all fiction and fable, that we allow ourselves to warn the community against its re- 88 PHRENOLOGY. ception, by showing its legitimate fruits to be pemicioas and destructive to religious principle and moral charac- ter. And we allege this to be the result, not of its be- ing at variance with revelation, but as a consequence of its being false. CHAPTER IV. HOMffiOPATHIA. Dr. Hahneman — his doctrines — their absurdity and monstrosity — tiieory for choosing remedies — drug-sicknesses — latent hereditary itch — invisible and intangible potenzes — roses — processes for infintesimal doses — wonderful discovery of di- viding a single drop into the fraction of nothing— inconsisten- cies and contradictions in regard to doses, shakes, and pellets of sugar-of-milk ■ — character of homoeopathic physicians — tricks of the trade — the gift of ignorance — asking questions — wonderful varieties of pain — smelling a phial, or the cork, every nine days — quackery of the tribe — their marvelloua cures — preventive powers — analagous to witchcraft. This stupendous humbug, although it might fitly be in- cluded in the chapter devoted distinctively to quack- ery, yet because of the prominence it has attained, and the prodigious pretensions it has set up, deserves to be singled out for separate animadversion. This new technical has been introduced to designate the system of Dr. Hahneman for curing diseases by a new, simple, and lilliputian process. This German sa- var who modestly says in his preface, " the true art of heahng begins with me," very consistently begins by denouncing all the medical theories which have been accumulating for two thousand years, as well as all the experience and observation of so many centuries as "(earned lumber" which is to be utterly rejected, and 8* 90 H OM (EOF A T H 1 A. which he labours to supplant and overthrow by his " New Art of Healing." The maxim adopted by Hah- neman, and which he calls the homceopathic law of na- ture, is thus expressed " similia similibus curardur" which is the opposite to the prevalent doctrine so fre- quently and so rationally exemplified both by nature and art, " contraria contrariis curantur." By the former dogma, he maintains that the same remedy which pro- duces given symptoms in a healthy body, will cure any similar symptoms in the diseased body. And all that is necessary is to develope the drug-virtue by mechan- ical tributation and dilution j — and he alleges that the power or virtue of a drug is thus developed ad infinitum in the direct ratio of these processes, and in the indirect ratio of the quantity, so that the doses can never be too small. Hence he divides every medical agent into " infintesimal doses " by laborious and complicated processes, very learned and accurate descriptions of which he gives in his works ; and this course is pursued not merely with the active poisons which he retains in his rnateria medica, but with the most inactive and ab- solutely inert agents. A single grain of common salt, for example, which homoeopathists regard as possessed of immense healing virtues when "polemized" by tu- turation and dilution, is divided by repeated solutions until it is reduced very many millions of atoms less than a grain. And when the drug-virtue is thus developed the "potenz," of this infintesimal dose of common table-salt is capable of producing eight hundred and ninety-five serious and dangerous forms of drug-sick- ness, and by consequence is curative infallibly in alt the variety of diseases in which these symptoms, or any of them appear. And even then, so much caution is HOMffiOPATHIA. -91 necessary in the use of this inconceivably small dose of common salt, that they are not to take a drop, but the drop must be divided by admixtures lest its "in- tensely raised energy " might be fatal. In many cases Hahneman directs, that this dreadful medicine should not be given internally, even after all this dilution ; but recommends that a pellet of sugar-of-milk not larger than a hempseed, should be moistened with this fluid, and then the patient may smell this pellet once in fifteen or twenty days ! While in other cases, thus to smell a Biogle pellet would be mischievous, and even dangerous ; and hence the patient is directed only to smell the cork out of the phial containing the pullets, once a month, but on no account to smell the phial itself! The theory upon which homoeopathia selectsits reme- dies is briefly this : Whatever symptoms are produced in "the human body in a state of health, by any substance introduced into the stomach, whether by accident or de- sign, the same symptoms occurring in any disease will he cured by an infintesimal dose of the same substance. Of course, when it is clearly ascertaiaed that any one remedy is useful in the treatment of a disease, it is proved a priori or a posteriori, that the same remedy would produce that disease in a healthy body if the dose were increased. Hence the materia medica of Hahne- man and homcEopathic physicians is made up of a cata- logue of the symptoms or drug-sicknesses produced in the healthy body, by allceopathic* doses of the diiferent medicinal agents. * By the term AUosopathic, in contradistinction from Homoeo- pathic, this sect mean the common or large doses of medicine usually employed by the regular faculty, as distinguished from their own lilliputian or infintesimal doses. Such is the use Hah- 92* H O M CE O r A T H I A. Under the head of rhubarb, sixty symptoms of drug- sickness are enumerated; — digitalis, seventy; — cam- phor, one hundred and seventy-Jive ; — table-salt, eight hundred and ninety-Jive : — silex, or flint ,^«e hundred and sixty -Jive ; — charcoal, nine hundred and thirty ; — and belladonna, fourteen hundred and forty ! &c. &c. Sul- phur or common brimstone being capable of producing many thousands of different symptoms, is therefore pre- scribed in a great variety of organic and functional dis- eases, acute and chronic, all of which are attributed to a latent Itch! for with this disease Hahneman affirms nearly all mankind are afflicted from their birth, and hence the miraculous cures effected even by the fifteen hundredth dilution of a single grain of sulphur, by reason of its antipsoric powers which have made it the basis of itch remedies in every part of the world. In an anonymous publication, lately published in New- York, will be found an extract from the Gazette Medi- cale for 1835, which presents a curious and ludicrous picture of the homoeopathic preparation or attenuation of medicines, which we give in the language of the re- viewers of Dr. Panvini, physician to the hospital della Pace, &c., accompanied by the calculation, in figures, of the unknown author of this pamphlet, which is enti- neman makes of tliis appellative. This theory similia similibns cnrantur, he denominates by the significant title HomcEopathia; and ho designs by the phrase AUoeopathia to indicate the system which adopts the opposite maxim, contraria contrariis curantur. Those who wish to see a more extended examination of this whote subject, will find it in the work of Dr. Wm. Leo Wolf, a German Bcholar and physician, entitled " Remarks on the Abracadabr^i of the nineteenth century." HOMffiOPATIlIA. "93 tied "Anatomy of- a Humbug," and contains much other evidence of acquaintance with the subject. " Homoeopathists have adopted for the multiplier of their attenuations the number 100. Thus, vfhen the medicine is a liquid, we take a drop of it, which we mix with 100 drops of alcohol. This is the first atten- uation or dilution. For the second dilution,- 10,000 drops are required, and so on ; always multiplying by 100, until the thirtieth or even fortieth dilution. " Dr. Panvini has calculated how much alcohol would be required for the dilution of a single medicinal drop, and how much sugar for the attenuation of a grain of solid substance reduced to a powder, so as to reach the thirtieth or fortieth dilution. " The first dilution of a drop of tincture of chamomile, for example, would demand, as has just been said, 100 drops of alcohol. "The second, 10,000, or nearly a pound. " Third, 100 pounds, or about a barrel.* » Fourth, 100 barrels. " Fifth, 10,000 barrels. " And so on, and so on ; the ninth, as much alcohol as the lake of Agnano could contain. " The twelfth, one hundred million lakes of Agnano. " The seventeenth, 10,000 Adriatic seas. "The thirtieth, as much alcohol as the terrestrial globe, all our planetary system, and perhaps all the stars of the first and second magnitudes that we can discover on a beautiful summer night ; to which must be added, for the fortieth dilution, all the constellations we can discover from one pole to the other ! As to pulverized substances, analogous proportions." * This must he an Italian barrel, smaller than ours. 94 H O M CE O P A T M I A . " To attain these infinite dilutions, only a drop of each dilution is used to be still further diluted ; otherwise the universe could not supply the homcsopathians with ma- terial to attenuate their medicine. " The above statements may seem incredible ; but figures are not apt to lie or deceive. A grain of char- coal or sulphur, mixed with sugar, and attenuated to the fortieth degree, would require the following amount of sugar in grains : 100,000,000,000,000,000,COO,000, 000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,00- 0,000,000,000,000,000,000— equivalent to the following number of pounds avoirdupois: 132083333333333333 33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 33333333333333. Allowing two thousand pounds to a ton, this grain of sulphur, charcoal, flint, or rock crystal, would require, to reduce it to the fortieth degree of attenuation, the following number of tons of sugar — 60416666666666666666666666666666666666666- 6666666666666666666666666666666 ! ! ! ! " But Hahneman not only attributes remedial influ- ences to the numerous active and inert articles which he-employs, but insists that all the substances in nature are continually developing remedial influence, which is imperceptibly acting upon the animal organism ; and when he fails to cure diseases, he ascribes his want of success, not to a deficiency in the potenzized virtues of his drugs, but to some invisible and intangible agent which counteracts his remedies. This process he finds vastly convenient in all cases of fatal diseases ; and hence he depends on the absence of all remedial influ- ence, other than that which he employs. If the patients has ever in his life been under the influence of calomel, or even taken an alloeopathic dose of this or any other H O M CE O P A T 11 I A . 95 drug, the result of his curative means must be doubtful. Of course his patients must, on no account, submit to any other than homoeopathic treatment, else the direct or after operation of his drug-sicknesses will be likely, by the "intensely raised energy and virtue" of his'poten- zes, to result in an explosion by coming in contact with some other imperceptible remedial influence. The mischievous effect of roses upon the eyes, by seeing or smelling them, or living in the neighbourhood where they grow, is one of the immortal discoveries of homceopathia ; for if j'o«e-water which contains a ho- moeopathic orinfintesimal dose of the drug-virtue of rose- leaves, will sometimes cure opththalmia or inflammation of the eyes, it is morally certain that to see or smell of roses will occasion sore eyes, unless some counteract- ing remedial influence be simultaneously operating. And so if stramonium, or belladonna, be growing in the neighbourhood; or if men live in the vicinity of charcoal, or sulphur, or flinty rocks ; or if they even pass by an apothecary shop, and inhale musk or any other aromatic vapour ; pleasant, or otherwise, the drug symptoms of some of these potenzes will be produced ; for it is im- possible to avoid receiving into the lungs an inflntesimal dose of these medicinal agents ; and as it is impossible that the dose can be too small, it is impossible to breathe the atmosphere which surrounds the earth, or drink the purest water flowing from its centre, without suffering continually from a homoeopathic dose of one or the other of the remedial influences which are mystically and perennially acting upon the animal organism. So that whether we will or not, and whether sick or well, in our own estimation, it is impossible to escape drug- sickness ; for horaceopathic doses are found in the air ; 96 HOMCEOPATHIA. upon the earth is food and drink ; above, beneath, around, " they throng the air, and darken heaven," so that active remedial influences are e\eiy where acting medicinally ; and when an over dose of any one of these is not coun- teracted, by its appropriate antidote, we are all exposed to danger and death from these imperceptible agencies. Hahneman being a full believer in all these crudities, anJ unheard of niceties, is exceedingly particular in directing the preparation of his medicines, by reducing their quantity to the borders of infinity, or the close proximity to nothing. Thus he says, " Take one grain of any solid substance, and one third of 100 grains of 8ugar-of-milk, and put them together in a porcelain ves- sel. Mix the medicine and sugar an instant with an ivory spatula ; then triturate the mixture with some little force six minutes ; then detach the mass from the bottom of the vessel four minutes, till it becomes homogeneous ; then triturate it again six minutes with the same force. Four other minutes are employed to re-unite the powder in a mass, and then add the second third of the sugar-of- milk ; mix it an instant with a spatula, then triturate with an equal force, six minutes ; then re-unite in a heap or mass, four minutes ; then triturate it again six minutes ; then, after having scraped it again four minutes, add the last third of the sugar-of-milk, which must be mixed by stirring it with the spatula ; then triturate it with force six minutes ; scrape it four minutes ; then terminate by triturating and mixing six minutes." This single process, however, only reduces the drug to its hundredth dilution. One grain of this is then carried through a similar pro- cess, with another hundredth of sugar-of-milk ; and this process is to be repeated not only fifteen hundred limes, as in the case of sulphur, but in other cases, until a grain HOMCEOPATHIA. 97 of the preparation shall be reduced to the forty-millionth part of a grain of the original medicine. And even then we are in many cases only to smell it; or when this is too active, we are to smell the cork once in three, four, or six weeks. The homoeopathic physicians are ever boasting of the learning and ingenuity of Hahneman, of whose" pro- digious discoveries they speak with rapture ; especially of that by which he has " contrived to divide with ac- curacy one drop into any desirable number of parts," which is among the unheard of niceties which are indis- pensable to his " true art of healing." And another equally marvellous discovery, in proof of the almost uni- versal hereditary Itch with which mankind are infected, is that gravely announced by himself as a " great truth," that " a new bom baby, only a few days old, will con- stantly rub and scratch the place where bis latent Itch is located." For the convenience of giving a dose of a drug dilu- ted to the borders of infinity, the processes directed by Hahneman are vague and contradictory ; and hence it is with marvellous consistency that he says " it is impossi- ble to give doses too small." And lest any should com- plain that this would imply that no medical virtue or po- tency will remain after such unlimited dilution, he ar- gues the matter thus : " Let a substance be divided into any number of parts ; its smallest imaginable part will still contain something of this substance, and can therefore never become a nonentity ! " He admits, how- ever, that the infinite nature of the drug-virtues begins to be developed at the eighteenth dilution, and gener- ally reaches its beneficial degree at the thirtieth dilution. And to understand this technicality let it be remem- 9 98 H O M CE O P A T H I A . beied that if a single atom of sulphur, flint, or charcoa] be mixed in one hundred drops of alcohol, and one drop of this solution, so called, although the drugs be, as in many cases insoluble, mixed in one hundred drops of alcohol, we then have the first dilution ; one drop of which is to be added to another one hundred drops of alcohol, for the second dilution, and so on to the eigh- teenth dilution ; when the drug-virtues begin to be de- veloped, and if carried to the thirtieth dilution they are nearer perfection. In accordance, however, with Hah- neman's direction, some of his followers have had the patience and skill to reduce a grain of sulphur, by mixture in snow and spring-water one hundred drops at a time, to the fifteen hundredth dilution, carefully and conscientiously giving each of the fifteen hundred phials the two mystic " shakes from above downwards," and then proclaim very distinct medical virtues in one drop of this infintesimal solution of nothing, and Hahneman endorses this miraculous result. But he objects to transmitting the drug-preparations from place to place in a fluid state, because of the changes they undergo by the agitation they receive from long continued and ex- cessive shaking. Hence it is that homoeopathic physi- cians generally employ atoms or " pelliets no larger than hemp seed" moistened with their mystical solu- tions of the centiUionth part of nothing ! For the manu- facture of these atoms or pellets, this " great benefactor of mankind" directs that two hundred sugar-pellets are to be prepared by a confectioner from one grain of starch and sugar; although in another volume of his works, he thinks these would be too potent, and therefore orders three hundred to be made with one grain ! In one edition, he directs one hundred sugar-pellets to be moist- nOMffiOPATIHA. 99 cnsd with one drop of the developed drug solution; but in the next edition, he thinks this dose too large, even to smell once amonth, and he prescribes that three hundred pellets be moistened with one drop ! So, also, in regard to the shaking of his solutions for the developement of the powerful innate drug-virtues he says, that " of late years he has been forced, by convincing experiments, to reduce the ten shakes formerly prescribed to two, with the arm, from above downwards ! " And in every suc- cessive volume Hahneman has issued, it will be found that he is, reducing his dose from nothing down to the infintesimal fraction of nothing. For example in 1815, he says, that immediate and permanent benefit resulted from one unmixed drop of Byonia juice. A few years af- ter he forbids giving more than one drop of the decillionth solution ; which- is one-tenth of a drop, divided by one with sixty zeros, because of the danger of a larger dose; and twelve years later, he says the patient must not even take a drop of this fraction of nothing, but must smell only of a sugar-pellet of the size of a hemp or poppy seed, moistened with the decillionth part of the same ! -7 and this smelling operation can only be safely re- peated at intervals of days, weeks, or months ! Although utterly inconsistent with their doctrines, homceopathists consider their atoms or pellets of sugar and milk only as the menstrua or vehicles of the medi- cinal solutions with which they are moistened ; but in it- self they admit that the sugar-of-milk is equivalent to nothing. Nevertheless, these pellets are of infinite impor- tance to. all homoeopathic physicians ; and many millions of them are always kept among their stock in trade; and as their infintesimal doses are seldom to be given of- tener than once in three, four, or six weeks, they are 100 HOMffiOP AT HIA. obliged to seem to do something during these long inter- vals, and these atoms of sugar and milk are therefore given by placing one upon the tongue daily; and they can only distinguish those which are moistened with a homoeo- pathic dose of a drug by their being marked to b^ taken once in fifteen, thirty, or sixty days. And when the im- portance of doing nothing, while seeming to do some- thing, is upon this system so apparent, we need not marvel that Hahneman should say very piously, " for this purpose, I consider sugar-of-milk an invaluable gift of God, and one of the greatest blessings ever be- stowed on man." But without dwelling longer on the ludicrous mon- strosities of this humbug in detail, it is time to account for the fact that men are found who not only possess belief in this entire nonsense, but set themselves for its defence ; and assume thfagsponsibility ot the health and lives of others while professedly devoted to the use of homoeopathic doses of drugs, and relying upon their curative powers. To admit that Hahneman himself be- lieved in the doctrines he has promulgated is more than ordinary organs of gullibility can receive, were it not for the evidences of insanity which charity can detect in his writings. But this mantle will not cover all his fol- lowers ; for many of these are men whose sanity is un- questionable, whatever maybe thought of their candour or integrity. The facts in most cases will be found to be these : Homoeopathic physicians are most frequently those who have failed to acquire either fame or emolument in the regular practice, and who have for the most part been unsuccessful in the treatment of diseases. Disap' pointed men, whose sensibility is wounded by the want HOMCEOPATHIA. 101 of discernment in those around them, as exhibited in their failing to appreciate the professional character they claim for themselves, are apt to become disgusted with their employment, and often become skeptics in physicks as well as morals. Hence having lost confidence in the science of medicine by their own want of success, they are ready to join any clique, or embrace any creed by which they may gain fortune, or even notoriety. While others impatient with the slow process of eleva- tion to rank and consideration as physicians, -by means of patient industry and thankless labour, gladly avail themselves of any shorter way to distinction which opens before them. Any, or all of these classes may be rationally supposed to be the ready victims of this humbug ; and we shall seldom find an educated man among the ranks of homceopathia, without learning from his history, to which of these classes he truly ap« pertains. That there is no want of charity or courtesy in these opinions, must be apparent ; for surely no medical man who was every day witnessing multiplied instances of his success in combating disease and restoring health by alloeopathic practice, would be led to abandon his ac- quirements both of learning and experience, and beconie a pedler of pellets or atoms of sugar of milk ! Much less would he hazard his reputation and the lives of his patients in acute and dangerous diseases, even by an ex- periment at doing nothing for a single hour. Familiar with the potency and success of his lancet in subduing a pleurisy or frenzy, and having proven by numerous ex. amples in himself and others the innocence and safety of depletion, as well as having witnessed so often the dangerous and even fatal consequences of delay, or 9* 102 HOMCEOPATHIA. inefficiency under such circumstances, such a phy- sician must be " alloeopathically sick of idiotism " or knavery, before he could be induced to Usten to the ab- surd and ridiculous doctrines of Hahneman, much less adopt either his theory or practice. These remarks ob- viously apply to those men who have been regularly inducted into the profession, and afterwards became homoeopathic practitioners ; for with barber and shoe- maker, schoolmaster, and clerical quacks, who in six weeks practice at triturating drugs, and making sugar- pellets, turn homceopathists, we have nothing to do ; al- though in perfect consistency with the dogmas of the system, they are better practitioners than the former, since they are not encumbered with the " learned lum- ber of the schools which has been accumulating for two thousand years," and against which Hahneman is ever denouncing his anathemas. A homoeopathic physician is required to lay aside his learning, if he has any, renounce all the sciences he may have acquired, and sacrifice his reason, however he may dispose of his conscience, and faithfully follow the cata- logue of drug-sicknesses contained in his symptom- book, always remembering that it is " impossible that his dose should be too small." He is never to know what disease hispatient is labouring under; but, in answer to anxious inquiries on the subject, he is to look wipe, and only say he is sick; or, in the language of Hahneman, " it is a kind of such, or such a complaint." This si- lence is all-important, for it would be inconvenient in all cases to state with frankness, that a gentleman or lady had the " Itch," and would be vastly inconvenient to add that it was " hereditary," and still worse to call it " la- HOMffiOFATHIA. 103 lent," lest this might elicit inquiry how it was discover- able, for " The doctor's optics must be keen, "Who sees what is not to be seen." And yet, the catalogue of the complicated and ordinary diseases which Hahneman ascribes to hereditary latent itch, will be found to include diseases of every organ of the body, from the brain to the great toe. But the disciples of Hahneman, though thus silent in answering questions, are nevertheless celebrated for asking them. For as it is necessary before administer- ing even an atom of sugar-of-milk to know all the symp- tomatology with the greatest accuracy, including the history of the patient's life, we are told that " the ad- vantage of short visits and quickly writing a recipe, cannot be reconciled with homoeopathia." All the feel- ings and complaints of the patient, whether bodily or mental, are to be diligently inquired into. Says Hah- neman, " all the circumstances under which any com- plaint arises or disappears, increases or diminishes, — whether in motion or at rest, in certain situations and postures, whether by warmth or cold, in the open air or in the room ; by light, by noises, by talking, or thinking, eating or drinking ; touch or pressure ; emotions of the mind,' or mental exertion, all must be taken into ac- count. Sensations on falling asleep, during sleep, and on waking ; the posture during sleep, even the dreams, and the kind of them, — whether of falling, or flying, of fire, of noises, ^f hunger, of motion, of seeing frightful objects, &c., all belong to the image of the disease, and any one of which may not unfrequently be the deciding 104 HOMCEOPATHIA. symptom. All such questions are to be put and an- swered, the result being written down minutely to be compared with the image in the gallery of drug-sick- ness-symptoms, to discover the appropriate remedy. Some idea of the critical character of these indispensa- ble cross examinations, may be formed by enumerating the different expressions of pain, which this " great benefactor of mankind," declares " must be discrimina- ted minutely, and are indispensable for a correct diag- nosis." Have you pain? In what part of the body? Is it simple, obtuse, pressing, compressing, bending, jam- ming, pinching, culling, slinging, drawing, teazing, shrugging, streaming, crawling, turning, boring, twist- ing, gnawing, eating, extending, scratching, knocking? Sj-c. All these different kinds of pain are to be dis- tinguished from each other, and one or more detected as existing, before the remedy is to be selected. But we forbear to enlarge on these and kindred topics; and now we suppose that the image of the disease, and the likeness of the drug-symptoms, are detected from among the 1400 drug-symptoms vi'hich many of thera produce ; it then remains to decide, whether the patient shall be directed to take the decillionth part of a drop of the centillionth solution of a grain of sulphur, or be al- lowed only to smell once a pellet moistened with a quad- rillionth solution of charcoal, by a single drop upon 300 of tjiem, or whether a pellet of sugar-of-milk may be gently placed upon his tongue every nine days! Or should a phial of the thirtieth solution of silex, which is insoluble, be given him, one drop of which is to be taken every six weeks, smelling the cork once during the in- terval ; the patient is cautioned against " shaking" the phial, " lest its intensely raised energy " should destroy HOMffiOPATHIA. 106 life. W ho can wonder that an individual carrying such a remedy home with him, should shudder lest by a single shake, the phial should blow him up by exploding in his pocket. Nor need we marvel at the influence upon the imagination which this humbug must produce upon patients whose nerves are weak enough to listen to the oracular croakiags of such an impostor, as is the miracle- monger by whom they are gulled. Notwithstanding these absurd and ridiculous mon- strosities are but an infintesimal portion of the con- temptible humbugs with which the doctrines and prac- tice of homoeopathia abound, it is nevertheless true, that in the nineteenth century, physicians of character and education are engaged avowedly in practice on this principle, and find multitudes of patients who are clam- orous encomiasts of the system and its practitioners. That such are acquiring fame and emolument, as well as certificates of their success in curing diseases by thousands, is however by no means marvellous. Many reasons may be assigned why such men obtain numer- ous patients, and why they, should be able to report many cures. The proneness of the multitude to receive every humbug with an eclat proportioned to its super- natural and miraculous pretensions, need not be argued ; since but for this homoeopathia had never made converts. Add to this the popular prejudice against mercury, by reason of its empirical abuse, and the outcry made against bleeding by the Thompsonians, who with their illustrious master most sagely argue, that " if God Al- mighty intended any blood to be taken out of the human body, he would have left an opening somewhere on the surface for the purpose, and a cork to stop it ; " and the additional fact, that all homoeopathists unite with Hahne- i 06 H M CE O P A T H 1 A . man in agreeing with these maxims of ignorance, and availing themselves of all similar prejudices, while they denominate all who practice allceopathically, the " mur- derers of the human race." And we see still other reasons of their success in getting patients; — in their promises of infallible cure, in their mysterious remedies, in the known repugnance of people generally to swallow nauseous and bitter medicines, and in the well-known fact, that there are hundreds of people in every com- munity, who are ever complaining, although without any urgent symptoms of disfease, and often without any other real ailment, other than in the imagination. This latter class are exceedingly numerous, and are only deterred from submitting themselves to medical treatment peren- nially, by the disagreeable nature t)f allceopathic medi- cines. To such, the "new art of healing" is indeed a desideratum, for there are no nauseous mixtures, or bitter pills to be taken ; no active or severe remedies to be endured, for the pellets of sugar and milk are so in- conceivably small, that they dissolve upon the tongue in the effort to swallow them ; and in very many cases there is not even this inconvenience in being sick; for to smell one of them on Fridays ! or to touch the nos- trils with thfe cork out of the phial containing them, will produce most marvellous curative effects. These and many similar reasons will account for the numer- ous patients who are humbugged by homcEopathic phy- sicians. Their cures, when they make any, are accounted for thus : A large majority of their patients, are only sick with imaginary diseases, and hence imaginary remedies will cure them, especially when they have strong faith ; or, as the Animal Magnetists call it, " robuste foi." A large HOMffiOPATHIA. 107 proportion of the remainder are suffering from those forms of nervous diseases, scrofula and other hereditary and constitutional maladies, which being absolutely incur- able by human means, and in which the highest medical skill consists in doing nothing, since all medicines do but aggravate and prolong the symptoms. In such cases horacBopathists take the patients from the hands of the quacks by whom they are only injured by medicine, and as they do absolutely nothing with their infintesimal doses of drugs, while seeming to do much, the patient improves in their hands, by being left to the unassisted powers of nature, which is the true indication. Such patients are benefitted, but never cured ; and the benefit they receive is wholly derived from their literally taking no medicine, since the doses are reduced to the infinite part of nothing. All other cases among their cures in which sickness of any kind, acute or chronic, really exists, and recovery takes place while under this treat- ment alone, would recover if they never saw a homoeopa- thic doctor, or tasted, or even smelled his pellets of sugar and milk. And that this is the case with many of the milder forms of disease, every physician very well knows ; and hence it is agreed on all hands, that in such instances, medicines though given by allceopathists are often unnecessary. Still, physicians of skill and honesty only employ the mildest forms of medicine in these in- stances, which in very many cases, are as innocent as bread pills, or as inert as homcEopathic doses of flint or charcoal. And it wrould be but silly trifling to argue that the latter exert any influence upon the body or the disease ; for it were easy to prove that if a homoeopathic dose of any drug, even the most potent, reduced secun- dum artem by the process of Hahneman, were mixed in every mouthful of food, and drink from the cradle to the 108 HOMCEOrATHIA. grave, and the patient should live to the age of Methu- selah, still he would not have taken, during nine centu- ries, a sufficient quantity to produce the smallest percep- tible or appreciable effect, upon any living organ or tissue of the body. These remarks^ are intended to apply solely to the homoBopathic treatment, when rigidly and honestly ad- hered to ; for it is not alleged that no cures are per- formed by those who pretend, for motives of imposition, to practice homoeopathically, and at the same time re- sort to alloeopathia in every case of genuine disease by -bleeding, emetics, calomel, and blisters, as many of them do, and only use the infintesimal doses, when "there is nothing the matter." That there are such professed homceopathists is well known, as any one may satisfy himself by sending for one of them, when suffer- ing under acute disease. While there are others base enough to " run an accommodation line," by offering the patie-nt his choice either to treat him by the regular practice, or homoeopathically if he prefers it, and prom- ising him that he can be cured either way. Such cha- racters often make converts to homceopathia, by treating him rationally, and at the same time superadding a taste or smell of a pellet of sugar and milk, and then dog- matically assuring the patient that his recovery is attrib- utable wholly to the latter. These are only a few of the " tricks of the trade," which are becoming too notorious to admit of denial. But the most wonderful secret of homceopathia, and by which Hahneman and his followers have always made the most of reputation and money, consists in the preventive powers of infintesimal doses. In times of prevalent epidemics, every homoeopathist has' a sove- reign specific, which ho persuades every body to take, COMCEOPATHIA. 109 while in health, as a protection from the attack. When scarlet fever appears in the city, men, women, and children, are importuned to take one drop of a solution of belladonna, reduced to the " frontier of infinity," which will prevent an attack. This is a most profitable spec- ulation ; for not one in a hundred will take the disease, even if they take nothing ; and when those who use the infallible preventive, suffer an attack, the homceopathist ascribes it to having taken too large a drop, or one drop too much, or to the bottle having had " one shake " too many, by which its " intensely raised energy," has been potenzized, or some other device of this systematized humbug. The like fraud is adopted when influenza, or cholera, or any other epidemic, is indicated ; and multi- tudes who are not predisposed to the disease, and would not have taken it, are humbugged into the belief that they owe their exemption fromdisease and death, wholly to having smelt a pellet of sugar-of-milk, moistened with an atom of camphor; the minuteness of which no arithmetic can compute, since " it is impossible that the dose can be too small." Such, then, is homceopathia ; a greater humbug than witchcraft, or any other form of imposture, by which mankind have ever been gulled ; and a more impudent and shameless form of quackery than was ever con- cocted by any charlatan practitioner in " roots andyq.rhs," with whom our world was ever cursed. That it should assume the garb of science, and, still worse, that of piety, is among the secrets of its gullibility. And the fact that men of sense and character should become its dupes, is one of the most striking exhibitions of intel- lectual stupidity and moral obliquity which the history of fanaticism itself can furnish. 10 CHAPTER V. QUACKERY IN GENERAL. D&Snitions — ancient examples — modern instances, number, and variety In London, compared with New- York — impostors as- suming the title of M. D. — infirmaries — dispensaries — lock- hospitals, &c. — secret remedies — Thomeonianism — wonderful simplicity — beautiful technicahties — theory and practice — murderous results — pill-doctors — variety and number — all infallible cures for incurable cases — profit of advertisements — dyspeptic doctors, by thumping and kneading — injustice of the public towards the honest warnings of the regular profession — no monopoly — ignorance and folly, the passport to fame and fortune — every man his own doctor — mortality which is the result of quackery. Under this head there are so many and so various genera and species belonging to the same order, that it is convenient to" include thera together under this general title, rather than give to each of these humbugs a dis- tinction to which they are not entitled, by separate consideration. The term quackery has been variously defined ; but perhaps the definition by the celebrated Dr. Parr, is the most unexceptionable. He says " the term quack, is applied to every practitioner, who, by pompous preten- sions, mean insinuations, and indirect promises, endeav- ours to obtain the confidence to which neither success nor experience entitles him." In other words, every QUACKBRY IN GENERAL. Ill practitioner, whether educated "or not, who attempts to practise imposture of any kind, is justly denominated a quack ; although the epithet is often restricted within narrow limits, and is attached ordinarily only to those ignorant and impudent mountebanks, who, for purposes of gain, make pretensions to the healing art, without any acquaintance with the structure or functions of the human body ; and alike destitute of all knowledge of the dis- eases they profess to cure, or the remedies they employ. The fraternity may be every where recognised by their pompous pretensions ; their slanderous insinuations, and their infallible promises ; and it is humiliating to confess that these attributes too often appear under the shelter of a diploma. It is for this reason, that this testimonial of professional character has ceased to be, as it ought, a passport to confidence and respect, — not because of any palpable criminality on the part of those to whom the business of medical education is, assumed, — but be- cause of the "love of money, which is the root of all evil." The popularity and emolument which public gullibility enables every impostor and humbug to acquire, furnishes a powerful mercenary motive to quackery in medicine, which some who have been regularly inducted into the profession have found themselves unable to resist. For while the reputable young physician can only gain a competence after years of toil and patient industry, whatever be his scholastic acquirements ; the most con- temptible humbug, the most barefaced charlatan and mountebank, leaps at oiice into both fame and fortune. So that it is now well understood, that any man may grow rich by imposture in our profession, if be will only consent to pay the price, by sacrificing character, conscience, and decency ; and consenting to become a quack. 112 dUACKERY IN G E N E B A t. The word quack has always been understood to apply lo a man or woman who, as Nicholson says, "for the good of the public, aind by the blessing of Heaven, un- dertakes by his pills, powders, balsams, potions, or tricks, to cure all disorders." Thus, ignorance and blasphemy unite in picking the pockets, and ruining the constitu- tions of thousands -of credulous people. The pretension that any one medicine is a certain cure for any one dis- order, is next to absurd ; much more ridiculous is it then to suppose that any one medicine will remove all kinds of complaints. Every medicine possesses active properties, or it does not : if it be active, it must be dangerous to apply it indiscriminately to persons of every age, without regard to their habit of living. An active medicine which might be very useful in strengthening a debilitated constitution, would be highly injurious if ex- hibited in an acute rheumatism, or other inflammatory disorder, and vice versa. Consequently the application of the same remedy in all ea.ses, can hardly fail of being fatal to some. Should the medicine be inactive, and inert, which happily is often the case, it can be of no other utility than to work upon the patient's imagination, and amuse him while his pocket is picked." Among rude and barbarous nations, charms, incanta- tions and amulets, have ever been in vogue, to appease the wrath of malignant spirits, and frighten them out of the diseased patient ; and they have often acquired a tem- porary sway over credulous minds, among people of a higher character, as in the instance of the Abracadabra, of the ancient Greeks, for curing fevers ; and the equally unmeaning word Abracalans of the Jews, for other dis- orders. The more polished polytheists, who failed in their supplications to Apollo and Esculapius, seem to QDACKERT IN GENERAL. 113 have partaken of the same superstition ; and hence they sacrificed to the Dii inferiores ; and even Paracelsus, in the sixteenth century, taught that the devil should, in prudence, be invoked to cure a desperate malady. — Witchcraft having been employed in all ages to cure diseases, as well as to inflict them, is another species of quackery ; and among the most enlightened nations of the earth, this humbug prevailed as late as the begining of the eighteenth century ; and all who dared to doubt it were regarded as atheists. - And as we shall presently discover, very many species of modern quacks, practise impostures little short of witchcraft, in absurdity and wickedness, and they meet with a success which proves the potency of their spell in this age of humbug. Paracelsus, the ancient prince of quacks, was ren- dered So illustrious in his day, that he was honoured by many other names, — Aurelius, Philippus, TheophrastUB, Bombastus de Hohenheim, were included among them ; and one of these names so eminently characteristic of the tribe of Bombast, is supposed to have been the ori- gin of this term. After his early death, notwithstanding his boasted pretensions to confer immortality by his " golden drop," or elixir of life ; the next distinguished sect of quacks, were denominated Astrological, since they classed diseases and remedies under the several signs of the zodiac, designating them as solar and lunar ; and giving elaborate prescriptions in regard to the as- cendency of particular planets, under whose influence, the herbs and plants to be used as medicines, were to be gathered. Indeed the mystical ceremonies with which the collection of remedies was accompanied, comprise many volumes. Some plants are only to be plucked at the rising of the dog-star, when neither sun 10* 114 aUACKERY IN GENERAL. nor mcion shine, while others are to be cut with a golden knife, only when the moon is six days old." While oth- ers, we are told, must only be gathered in the night ; and as it is dangerous to pluck them, "a string must be fastened to it, and a hungry dog tied thereto, who being allured by the smell of roasted flesh set before him, may pluck it up by the roots." Next came the vegetable quacks, and these followed by the animal quacks, both of whom denounced the mi7ieral quacks who had preceded them, and sometimes combined their remedies, as in the celebrated vegeto- animal oil of swallows, which was a sovereign remedy, and was prepared by compounding twenty different herbs, with hoeniy live swallows, to be well beaten together in a mortar. And the animal quacks performed the most wonderful cures for centuries, with medicines prepared from the raspings of a human skull unburied; from the moss growing on the head of a thief who has been hangedand left in the air; powder of a mummy; the liver of frogs; the blood 'of weasels; and the famo'is ointment made of sucking whelps, the marrow of a stag, and the thigh-bone of an ox. But although such were the strange and mystical fea- tures of ancient quackery, yet many of the modern hum- bugs in this department, are equally superstitious and absurd. Hume has long ago truly remaiked, that man- kind are constantly deceived by the same trick-s, played over and over again. Human credulity indeed seems wholly incurable ; and, in spite of all warning, we see one generation after another, with their eyes wide open, run into the same gulf of fraud, quackery, and impos- ture, swallowing the same humbug, in some new form, in almost every successive century. QUACKERY IN GENERAL. 115 All the world has heard of the " tactus regalis," or the touching quackery, by which so many kings of the earth have been celebrated ; — the awful solemnity with which so many sovereigns touch for the cure of scrofu- la, or king's evil. Charles the second touched 23,621 persons for this disease, in five years ; but although Queen Anne, and many other kings and queens of Eng- land, and France, continued the royal experiment, yet the superstition has long since been exploded ; and in- stead of th3 touch of the sovereign, the same virtue has been since derived from the hand of a hanged felon ; and in England, which is the paradise of quackery, this latter remedy is often applied for under the gallows. A late writer on the quackery which abounds in the city of London, attempts a classification of these hum- bugs, by enumerating twelve species of quacks : 1st. the astrological : — 2d. vegetable: — 3d. animal: — 4th. mineral: — 5th. magnetical : — 6th. chemical: — 7th. and 8th. rubbing and touching : — 9th. cosmetic : — 10th. capillary : — 11th. lonsorial : — i2th. blacking. But in New- York, which is the London of America, we are obliged to claim great numerical superiority in the classification of our quacks ; for we have not only im- ported all those mentioned as flourishing in London, but we have many more of domestic manufacture. In ad- dition to the twelve classes, we have 13th. pilular quacks; 14th. steamers; 15th. dental; 16th. ocular; 17th. infirmary and dispensary quacks ; 18th. thumping ; 19th, pawing; 20th breathing; 21st. dyspeptic; 22d. liver ; 23d. bowels ; 24th. lungs ; 25th. skin ; 26th. worm ; 27th. children's ; 28th. females ; 29th. urine ; 30th. rain-water; 31st. bone-setting; 32d. Indian; 33d. botanical ; 34th. secret quacks ; besides a multitude of other classes which no man can number. 116 QUACKERY IN GENERAL. The most common and prevalent form of this hum- bug in New- York, and elsewhere, is seen in the numer- ous advertisements with which the newspapers are filled, in which men, arrogating the title of doctors, and often appending the mystic letters M. D. to their names when they have no claim, honorary, or otherwise, to this distinction ; announce the establishment of an office, or dispensary, or infirmary, for some single disease or class of diseases, in which "pompous pretensions" are ex- pressed or implied, with the design of humbugging the public into the belief, that they possess exclusive and superior knowledge in the medical treatment of those diseases, and often accompanied with reports of cases, certificates of cures, and sometimes affidavits containing " mean insinuations," and "indirect promises" of infalli- ble cure. These examples are sufficiently notorious to be fa-" miliar to all ; and they are not confined to the lock- hospitals, and other institutions for secret diseases and remedies, for the encouragement of licentiousness, else they might be left to wallow in their filth and infamy, and fester amid their ill-gotten gains. But in addition to these, we have infirmaries for almost every disease, and for every organ of the body ; and often with an array of the names of physicians, as attending and consulting, who thus degrade themselves, and dishonour the pro- fession. Infirmaries for the eye, for the ear, for the liver, for the lungs, for the bowels, for dyspepsia, for fever, for surgical diseases, for female complaints, for children, for the ski ,, and last not least, for all secret diseases. Now it is plain,_ that in each of these kindred examples, whether called public or private infirmaries, those who advertise them, do by this act, make preten- ClUACKERY IN, GENERAL. 117 sions to exclusive and superior acquaintance with the re- spective diseases they profess to treat, which they and the profession alike understand to be in the generality of cases, utterly fictitious. They are all alike, pretenders to secret remedies, or nostrums of some kind ; and they aim to impose on the public, by this false insinuation, either directly or indirectly set forth in their circulars, signs, handbills, or advertisement. From this condem- nation no exception can be made, except in the instances of public charities. It is scarcely necessary to say, that no worthy mem- ber of the profession claiming to be enlightened and liberal, is at liberty to conceal any remedy for disease, or curative process which can benefit mankind ; nor is it ever done but at the forfeitijre of his character. Hence all who either by direct profession, or mean insinuation, pretend to the exclusive possession of such nostrum, are de facto quacks, and the gullible public who patron- ize them, are the victims of humbug. The multiplied instances of this form of quackery need not be individu- ally particularized, since the imposture has been so often and so justly castigated, that none but those who are beyond the reach of these strictures, need suffer by such empiricism. But there are some other species, which from their unblushing impudence, and boasted success, are entitled to distinct notice. The tribe of homceopathists have been disposed of in anotlier chapter ; and the sect of Thompsonians may now be introduced to the reader. A few years since, a certain Dr. Thompson, so called, published a book, designed to make " every man his own doctor," containing a new theory of diseases, with their treatment, and for which a patent was obtained 118 ftUACKERY IN GENERAL. under the great eeal of the U. S. The doctrine of the sect, so far as it is intelligible, seenns to be, that cold and heat are the grand agents in producing as well as in curing diseases ; and the remedies chiefly relied upon are, first, steaming with the vapour of water poured upon hot stones, until universal perspiration is induced, where- by the cold is driven out through the pores of the skin, and then by deluging the body with cold water, the pores are shut, and the cold is thus kept out. Second, enor- mous doses of lobelia inflata, or indian tobacco, which is both emetic and narcotic. Third, cayenne pepper, given alone, or in combination with myrrh, cloves, ginger, and other heating drugs, in the form of tinctures, bitters, or teas, with the view of regulating the conflict between heat and cold, which is supposed to be the cause of disease. The simplicity of the theory and practice of Thomp- sonianism is such, that any simpleton, by the payment of 20 dollars for a patent-right, may be fully armed and equipped for " the work of death ;" and besides all the "laming" imparted to him, he will be supplied with lobelia, bayberry, and other " yarbs ; " and the entire library of Thompsonianism, consisting of one book ! will be thrown into the bargain. To become a doctor there- fore upon this system, requires no kind of knowledge either of the human body, its diseases, or its remedies, nor indeed any other qualification than to be a fool : for it is agreed on all hands, that any literary or medical knowledge is only in the way. So that a man can read this one little book of Samuel Thompson, without spel- ling more than half the words, he is just fool enough to make a doctor on this plan ; and for great success in gulling the public, all that is requisite is that he add (iUACKERY IN GENERAL. 119 knavery to his folly, and his " edication " is complete. Some farther idea of the vileness and mischiefs of this imposture may be gathered from the fact, that their different medicines are known by the classical and eu- phonous names of " screw-augur ! ram-cat ! and hell- scraper ! " This stupendous humbug has gained converts in various parts of our country, although the state and city of New- York is perhaps the most extensive field of the operations of the sect. The number of lives which have been sacrificed by the steaming process, and the violence of the external and internal treatment to which this sect of quacks resort, has again and again been brought before the civil and criminal tribunals. The systematic arrangements for clandestinely murdering its victims, may be seen in the fact, that as numerous courses of the steaming and medicine are -called for, in- firmaries are established, in which patients are received both for boarding and physic, where they are successive- ly taken care of on the Thompsonian plan, until they either run away before they have become its victims, or are quietly buried from the infirmaries ; whhout, in the general, having the benefit of the clergy, or of the coroner's inquest ; to which last, they are justly entitled, seeing that they come to their death by violence. At the present hour, one of this fraternity is, in "durance vile," convicted by a jury of this city, on the charge of manslaughter, in a case so flagrant that it could not es- cape the notice of the law, though the victim had been snugly ensconced six feet below ground, for some days before the outrage became the subject of investigation. Whether, as heretofore, the " glorious uncertainty of the law " shall, as in other cases, suffer this Thompsonian to 120 QUACKERY IN GENERAL. escape the penalty due to his offence, remains to be seen. Next to this form of medical humbug may be named, the innumerable kinds of pills which are manufactured by cart-loads ; -some of them by steam process, and which it seems are sold and swallowed, to an extent which would be incredible, if we had no other evidence of public gullibility. Some of these are imported by ship-loads from foreign colleges of health, while millions of them are made by Indian debtors, or " root and yarb " doctors, or their "'grandfathers and grandmothers ; " — some are " life pills, or chamomile pills, or female pills, ■bilious and anti-bilious pills," and each and all are re- ported to have cured all manner of incurable diseases ; and are accompanied by columns, and even volumes of certificates and afHdavits of their wonder-working pow- ers. Some of these arc good for the " constUuiion, or that which constitutes;" while others are "sovereign for the blood." Some are to be taken by dozens or scores at a time, and warranted to be innocent, if the patient will only take enough of them at a dose ; and there is no danger whatever of taking too many, as they can be made by the steam-engine faster than they can be swallowed. If the patient finds himself worse after taking any of these pills, he has only to take more, doubling the quantity every time, and the cure will soon be finished ; for should he die, it only proves that he has not lived long enough to swallow a sufUcient number of pills ; for so long as he can take pills, he cannot die if he should tryt And the only means by which a man can escape, therefore, from this troublesome world; if these doctors or their grandfathers report truly, is to QUACKERY IN GENERAL. 121 cease to take the pills, since they " infallibly cure all in- curable diseases." Such are the astounding pretensions of this pill-making humbug, and yet popular gullibility continues to furnish victims to every successive imposture, notwithstanding the glaring character of the stupid delusions, by which these mountebanks perpetuate the deception. Some of them expend thousands of dollars annually in advertise- ments, on the principle avowed by some of them as the secret of their success, — "any kind of pills will sell, if you will only advertise them enough," — and in a few years, the emolument derived from some of the vilest and most mischievous of these humbugs is known to have amounted to an ample fortune ; while it has been confessed, that the cost of printing advertisements, handbills, and pamphlets, has been ten times that of the humbug itself, and all other expenses attending upon its manufacture, sale, and the support of agents and venders. And this has been the case when the compo- sition of the pills has been perfectly understood by every medical man in the country ; and when the mischievous effects upon the health of those who swallowed them, has yielded a rich harvest to the physicians who have been called to subdue the diseases which were the con- sequence of the pills. Perhaps no more memorable instance of the success of quackery in New- York can be adduced, than the tribe of dyspeptic doctors, with which the city has been visited within a few years. The habits of high living, gluttony, intemperance, and sensual indulgence, in which all classes of the population have been growing worse and worse, have resulted in the almost universal prevalence of indigestion ; to every variety of which the name dysr 11 122 dUACKiSRY IN GENERAL. pepsia has been stupidly and indiscriminately applied ; and to suffer from this disease has become so fashion- able, that scarcely any one has escaped its symptoms, except those whom poverty, or imprisonment, has con- demned to short allowance. Quacks have accordingly availed themselves of the existence of this almost uni- versal disease, and many of them have amassed wealth in a few months, by the discoveiy of a universal remedy tbr this malady. The most successful of these may be called the " thumping quacks," who, professing to cure dyspepsia without medicine, for the fee of fifty or five hundred dollars, according to the length of the patient's purse, always paid in advance, and administered under an oath of secrecy, have succeeded in humbugging a multitude. The chief practitioner in this line, who has many less successful imitators, made some 30,000 dol- lars in a few months, with his sovereign remedy. It consisted in ^^ thumping" the stomach and abdomen; and sometimes " kneading " with the knuckles, and teaching the patient how to expel flatulence from the stomach, by "squeezing" upon the epigastric region, and belching up the gases, which the fermentation of the food had occasioned. The mystery of his success con- sisted in the fact, that no gentleman or lady, after having been befooled into an oath of secrecy and gulled of an enormous fee, for being taught this " thumping, knead- ing, and squeezing process," was at liberty to expose the humbug ; but on the contrary, they were willing that others should become its victims ; so that neither could afford to laugh at the other, after having been exposed to the equally ludicrous treatment of this thumping quack. Nor was it until the gullible portion of the public had been used up, and fees became so " few and far be- QCACKERT IN GENERAL. 123 tween,'" mat " Othello's occupation was gone," that the whole art and mystery- was published in a book, when forthwith all the patients relapsed into dyspeptics, their oaths being cancelled, and the humbug forthwith ex- pired. It is not only vain, however, while the reign of popu- lar delusion lasts, for the guardians of the public health to remonstrate against this, or any other form of quack- ery; for the reason that physicians are disfranchised from expressing an opinion on a subject, in relation to which they only are competent to judge, by the stupid impeach- ment of their motives which they invariably suffer. But those who are the best informed of the facts in the case know very well, that it is never for the pecuniary interest of any member of the profession, to oppose any form of quackery, since, without an exception, they are all tributary to his interest, and must continue to be so, while they continue to be successful. If medical men were actuated by sordid and mercenary motives, they would exult in every new and successful species of quackery, since even if it were one which might be use- ful, if employed with discrimination; yet because indis- criminately used, it must infallibly increase and multi- ply the number of the sick, and the fees of the faculty. It is therefore contrary to their interest, that any effort is ever made to gain the public ear by remonstrance against the experiments of ignorance and folly which quack-doctors are ever perfornjing upon the public health. That they should not be believed when they make the affirmation is at once the fruit and the proof of the dominion of humbug. But it were an endless task to specify the multitu- dinous variety ofmedical quackery, which abounds in 124 QUACKERY IN GENERAL. Jfew-York, and elsewhere, since the supply will keep pace with the demand. And until the public shall be sufficiently enlightened to protect themselves from im- position, neither the remonstrances of the faculty, nor the restraints of the laws in relation to quackery, will ever arrest or diminish the evil. All the profession can do is at the hazard of encountering the vituperation of the ignorant, and the interested, to release themselves of the responsibility they would otherwise bear, by timely and faithful remonstrance. The people regard it among their vested rights to buy and swallow such physick, as they in their sovereign will and pleasure, shall determine ; and in this free country, the democracy denounce all restrictions upon quackery, as wicked monopolies for the benefit of physicians. Be it so, if the democracy please, so long as it can be shown that the faculty have individually and collectively done what they can to give the warning, which is a duty they owe to themselves, whether the public will hear or forbear. Is it not passing strange, that while the populace are almost universally sufficiently well informed to select for their artists, mechanics, and even labourers, those only who have been trained for their respective kinds of business, they should betray such reckless indiffer- ence in committing their health and lives to the hazard- ous experiments of ignorance, and even stupidity itself. Who, for instance, would commit the ' repair of his watch to the blacksmith who shoes his horse ? What man would go to sea in the ship built by his tailor ? or who would wear the coat made by his barber? And yet there are those who will entrust the care of their sto- machs, liver, lungs, and brain, to men whom they would not trust, because of their profound stupidity, either to QUACKERY INGENERAL. 125 repair their shoes, or mend their breeches. Any clown, who has failed in his appropriate employment of teach- ing children their A, B, C, or digging ditches, or saw- ing wood, or mending shoes, may succeed in acquiring popularity, -and even wealth, -by announcing himself a quack doctor ! The more ignorant of the human body, its diseases, and the remedies he uses, the better for his purpose, since it only proves that " the weak things of the world are to confound the wise." And if he have knavery enough to feign a special call from heaven to the work of doctoring; or profess to have received the " gift of healing," either by a dream or vision; or by learning from an Indian medicine-man the use of roots and yarbs ; or by being the seventh son of a seventh daughter ; or, what is still better, if he style himself a sur- geon-barber to some foreign king, emperor, or royal family, from London or Paris, his opinion will te sought, and his physick swallowed by thousands who are labouring under intricate and complicated diseases of vital organs, which demand the most enlightened and scientific discrimination, to afford any hope of re- covery. And amazing as it may seem, it is neverthe- less true, that these vile and infamous impostors will demand and receive an amount in fees, and these in ad- vance, which would subject a regularly educated physi- cian to a criminal prosecution for the crime of extor- tion and swindling, even should he restore his patient to life and health, by laborious art, and a consummate exhibition of science and skill. In truth, there is no profession under heaven, in which imposture and humbu g are so certainly successful as in medicine ; though in none are such frauds so easy of de- tection, with an ordinary degree of discernment. If a 11* 126 ftUACKERY IN GENERAL. man were to propose to dispense with the professions of law, and divinity, by issuing books entitled " Every man his own lawyer," or " Every man his own clergy- man," who among the besotted ranks of stupidity would attempt a cause involving his property or reputation by the aid of the former, or who would assume the "cure of his own soul" with the assistance of the latter. And yet the great mass, of the people confide in time of sick- ness for themselves and families, in similar books, and rely upon some one or more of the numerous " guides to health," " medical compaiiions," or some of the simi- lar attempts to make " every man his own doctor." And they will take the pills and potions, or submit to the steaming operations of men, who are too ignorant to write their own name, and who could not tell whether their remedies belong to the animal, vegetable, or mine- ral kingdom. Nor do they discover their delusion in too many instances, until both health and life are forfeit- ed, and they become the silly victims of some sense- less humbug. Such are the facts abounding and accumulating in our midst ;_ and when one form of quackery by its fatal mischiefs becomes detected and annihilajLed, another quickly succeeds it with the like history and results. Meanwhile, the public become no wiser by the experi- ence of the past, but persist in yielding up fresh vic- tims to every new impostor, who with sufficient impu- dence manufactures his certificates of cures, fulfilling the maxim of Lord Bacon, that " in the opinion of the multitude, witches and impostors have always held com- petition with physicians." CHAPTER VI. ULTKA-TEMPERANCE. Ultraism, definition, and criterion — not Temperance Societies — nor total abstinence societies — but the small party in those societies who hinder their success, by renouncing expediency as the great and potent weapon of offence and defence — ab- stract immorality of using alchohol under any circumstances denied — shown to be untiue and unnecessary — mischiefs of this heresy in the temperance ranlLS — examples — use and value of the "old pledge" — new pledge — reasons for its prefer- ence—its success — mischiefs of ultraism — chief obstacle to entire success of the cause — -a humbug, and why. Our definition of a humbug, by the use of its synonyme imposture, will protect us from the imputation of apply- ing this epithet to temperance, or to temperance so- cieties, as the qualifying term ultra prefixed will con- clusively show. Indeed, the predominant motive for in- troducing this chapter^has been to protect the great Tem- perance Reformation from being identified with the doc- trines and measures which are justly thus denomina- ted. But as in successive chapters a number of species belonging to this genus, " ultra" will receive a dis- tinct notice, the following preliminary inquiries, and ob- servations, are commended to the intelligent reader, as they will be important to be remembered as we proceed. What is ullraism 1 and Who are the ultras 1 are questions which are frequently proposed, and as often 128 ULTRA-TEMPERANCE. remain unanswered. Every body is talking of the ul- tras, whose folly seems to be universally deplored, and yet it is an epithet which no one is found willing to bear, as his just and appropriate designation, however readily he employs the term in his vocabulary, when speaking of his neighbours. Indeed, the frequent occasions upon which this word is employed in public discussions, whether upon politics, morals, or religion, would seem to indicate that the present is neither the iron, the bra- zen, the silver, nor the golden age, but strictly, and em- phatically, the age of ultraism! The justice and pro- priety of this indication can only be estimated when we have distinctly and definitively settled the important questions at the head of this paragraph. It is true that the signification of those English com- pound words, to which the Latin prefix ultra is" added, as ultra-marine, ultra-mundane, &c., might be supposed to furnish a sufficient definition ; and as these are found in our English Dictionaries, the word ought to be suf- ficiently intelligible, even to those who are ignorant of the Latin language, to which it belongs ; and it is on this hypothesis, that it has remained untranslated in common parlance. But as it has now become Angli- cised by frequent use, it must be owing to its perver- sion and misapplication, that its ambiguity of meaning continues, and to rescue it from such abuse is the ob- ject of the present pa^er. It would be a work of supererogation to remind the reader that the word ultra is a preposition in our own as well as in its orignal tongue, and uniformly signifies be- yond. Still, however, like all other prepositions, it only shows the " relation of words," while abstractly it sig- nifies nothing. The word beyond, standing alone and ULTRA -TEMPERANCE. 129 unconnected, is unintelligible, nor can its precise mean- ing be ascertained in any given case, without a know- ledge of tl.p persons, things, or subjects to which it re- fers. And hence, for convenience sake, it is com- monly united directly with another word, to which it is applied with the powers of an adjective, as in the fol- lowing examples, ultra-democracy — ultra-Episcopalian — ultra-Calvinist — ultra-Protestant — ultra-temperance — ultra-abolitionist, &c. In such examples as these, the meaning of the prefix is obvious, however the ap- plication of the epithet may be disowned, as it univer- sally is by those to whom it is applied. It obviously signifies one who goes beyond the true character of a democrat, an Episcopalian, a Calvinist, &c. But still, when used as a term of reproach, or at least of disrespect, it is important and desirable that there should be some standard or rule, by which the measure of orthodoxy on these several topics, is to be adjudica- ted, else it still remains equivocal, and is exceedingly liable to be misapplied. As, for example, some men have so much reverence for antiquity, that they indis- criminately condemn all improvement, innovation, and reform in ancient opinions or practice, by denominating such novelty as ultra ; that is, beyond what they have al- ways held sacred. While others adopt the opposite ex-. treme,and are ever seeking " some new thing ;" and their rage for innovation leads them to reject every doctrine or usage of our ancestors, for no other reason than that it is too antiquated, and such apply the term ultra to every thing which has any claim to be old-fashioned. While numerous examples may be found, illustrating the truth of the proverb, " Every man has a Pope in his own bel- ly." Those of this class who arrogate infallibility to 130 ULTRA- TEMPERANCE. all their oivn opinions, call every man ultra who goes beyond them on any topic, being fully persuaded that they stand on the zenith of perfection, and constitute the very personification of rae plus ultra, in science, morals, and religion. But while there are many illustrations of the misappli- cation of this significant word, still there are much. more numerous instances, in which it is appropriate and use- ful ; nor is there any conceivable danger of abusing the term, if those who use it can but agree to adopt some common standard, to transcend which, shall by unani- mous consent be called ultraism, whether in ourselves or others. Svich a. standard, we humbly submit, is found in the Book of Revelation, which is " the infallible rule of faith and practice " in the creed of Christianity. And we propose that he who becomes in his own conceit, or in his philosophy, philanthrophy, or religion, either wiser or better than the Bible, shall henceforth be denomina- ted an ultra, and his principles and practice be ranked as idtraism. Having reached this ultimatum, and erected our stand- ard, we now propose to " try the spirits " of a few of the pseudo-reformers of this age of ultraism ; and we select for our purpose three of the Unties, viz. . the Anti-In- . temperance, Anti-Slavery, and Anti-Popery ; or, as we shall call them in our philosophy, the Z7/fra-Temper- ance, ?7/