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 Dean Swift and his writings. 
 
 3 1924 013 201 565 
 
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Dean Swift 
 
 cAND HIS WRITINGS 
 
 GERALD P. MORIARTY, B.A. 
 
 EALLIOL COLLEGE, OXFOKD 
 
 " A person of great honour in Ireland used to tell me that 
 my mind was like a conjured spirit, that would do mischief 
 if I would not give it employment."— 6'«;i/i! to the Rev. J. 
 Kendall, Feb. ii, 1692. 
 
 LONDON 
 
 SEELEY AND CO. LIMITED 
 
 ESSEX STREET, STRAND 
 
 1891 
 
PREFACE 
 
 The biographical part of this work must be regarded as 
 subordinate to the literary. I have attempted to describe 
 and illustrate Swift's chief writings, merely giving such a 
 sketch of his career as is required for a due understanding 
 of their import. 
 
 The quotations from Swift's works and correspondence 
 have been intentionally made as numerous and as full as 
 possible ; it being, in my opinion, easier to give an idea of 
 an author's genius in this way than by means of unsup- 
 ported critical disquisitions. The latter are always delu- 
 sive, except when a good knowledge of the works criticised 
 has been previously obtained by the reader. 
 
 In my quotations I have modernised the spelling, and 
 have given up the use of capital letters in the case of 
 common nouns prevalent in Swift's time. I have also 
 altered a few words and phrases, the crudity of which suits 
 not with present ideas. 
 
 The edition of Swift's works mainly used has been that 
 of Roscoe, published in 1864 by Bohn. 
 
 In dealing with Swift's character, I have contented 
 myself with the explanation of motives, without offering 
 any comment thereon. The reader will notice that my 
 view differs considerably from that of certain modern 
 writers. The latter, in a spirit of reaction against the 
 
iv Preface. 
 
 sombre and somewhat inaccurate picture drawn of Swift 
 by Thackeray and M. Taine, have all but tried to raise 
 the Dean of St. Patrick's to the rank of a saint and a 
 hero. 
 
 With this opinion, after much study of the original 
 authorities for Swift's life and the circumstances of his 
 time, I find myself unable to concur. It is ill supported 
 by the evidence; and it is self-contradictory in view of 
 the peculiar tone of Swift's writings. An amiable parish 
 priest could never have produced the " Tale of a Tub " 
 or " Gulliver's Travels." A high-minded politician would 
 never have written the " Character of Lord Wharton " 
 or the " Legion Club." 
 
 It may, in conclusion, be doubted whether any advan- 
 tage is to be gained from the present fondness for — to use 
 a colloquialism — " whitewashing " historical characters. 
 To paint in dark colours is not to depreciate. The 
 Napoleon of Lanfrey is a far more interesting figure than 
 the Napoleon of Thiers. It is true that Swift has much to 
 urge in his excuse. He had endured more disappointments 
 than fall to the lot of most men ; and he suffered, nearly 
 all his life, from an intermittent and distressing malady. 
 None the less, the qualities produced by these trials were 
 resentment, not resignation ; vindictiveness, not forbear- 
 ance ; misanthropy, not fellow-feeling. 
 
 GERALD MORIARTY. 
 Balliol College, Oxford, 
 October, 1892. 
 
CONTENTS 
 
 CHAPTER PAGE 
 
 I. SIR WILLIAM temple's SECRETARY I 
 
 n. AN ALLY OF THE WHIGS 23 
 
 III. A TORY CONVERT . ... -48 
 
 IV. POLITICAL ACTIVITY .... -77 
 V. IN THE GREAT WORLD 1 27 
 
 VI. THE TORY DOWNFALL . . ... 1 65 
 
 VII. THE DEAN OF ST. PATRICK'S . . ... 186 
 
 Vin. " GULLIVER'S TRAVELS" . .219 
 
 IX. SETTLED IN IRELAND 255 
 
 X. LETTERS TO ENGLAND (1727-1735) . 277 
 
 *OCI. SWIFT AS POET . . . . . 394 
 
 XII. CONCLUSION . . . .312 
 
 ERRATUM. 
 
 Page 136, line S: For words "but now married to a brother of the Dul<e of Hamilton" 
 retid " a different person to the wife of the Lord George Hamilton, created Earl of Orkney 
 in 1696." 
 
LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 PAGE 
 
 Dean Swift. After C.Jeruas._ . . Frontispiece 
 
 Sir William Temple. After Sir Peter Lely. ... 20 
 
 Joseph Addison. After Sir Godfrey Kneller. ... 66 
 
 Henry St. John, Viscount Bolingbroke. After H. Rigaiui. 92 
 
 Matthew Prior. After Sir Godfrey Kneller. . . .102 
 
 Robert Harley, Earl of Oxford. After Sir Godfrey 
 
 Kneller. 168 
 
 Hester Vanhom.righ (Vanessa) .... 194 
 
 Esther Johnson (Stella) 250 
 
 John Gay. After W. Aikman. ... . 284 
 
 The portraits of Stella and Vanessa are from pictures in the 
 possession of G. Villiers Briscoe, Esq., of Bellinter, Co. Meath. The 
 former is thus mentioned by Sir William Wilde in his " Closing 
 Years of Dean Swift's Life" -• " Jt was originally in the possession oj 
 the distinguished Charles Ford of Woodpark, where Stella was con- 
 stantly in the habit of visiting, and where she spent several tnonths in 
 1723, when probably it was painted, Stella being then about forty-two. 
 It remained, along with an original picture of Swift, at Woodpark 
 for many years, with an unbroken thread of Iradition attached to it, 
 until it came, with the property and effects of the Ford family, into 
 the possession of the Preston family." By permission of Mr. Preston, 
 of Bellinter, it was engraved (not satisfactorily) as a frontispiece to Sir 
 William Wilde's book. It afterwards passed into the possession of 
 Air. Preston's heir, its present owner, by 2uhose kind permission it has 
 been photographed, together ivith the portrait of Vanessa, for the 
 present volume. 
 
DEAN SWIFT AND HIS WRITINGS. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 SIR WILLIAM TEMPLES SECRETARY. 
 
 Sir William Temple at Moor Park — Career and character of that 
 statesman — Arrival of Jonathan Swift as his secretary — Retro- 
 spect on the latter : his parentage, birth and education — Enters 
 Temple's employment — The first residence at Moor Park — 
 Temple's treatment of Swift — The household at Moor Park — 
 First intimacy with Stella — Return of Swift to Ireland in search 
 of health — Second visit to Temple — Becomes M.A. of Hart 
 Hall, Oxford — Is now entrusted with important business— His 
 early poems — Resolves to take orders — Leaves for Ireland a 
 second time, after quarrel with Temple — The penitential letter 
 — Swift ordained ; receives the prebend of Kilroot — His life 
 there — Return to Moor Park -^Characteristics of the third visit — 
 Improved position— Attaches himself to Lord Sunderland — Is 
 disappointed— Writes the "Battle of the Books" — Death of 
 Temple — His will. 
 
 A Swiss gentleman, who travelled through England in 
 1695, gives an interesting account of his visit to Sir 
 William Temple, at Moor Park, in Surrey. The house 
 of that celebrated negotiator and philosopher, says our 
 informant, was the very model of an agreeable retreat. 
 Far enough from town to escape the intrusion of the 
 
2 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 vulgar, the air was wholesome, the land good, and the 
 view contained but pretty. No sound could be heard save 
 the rustling of the leaves and the murmur of a small 
 rivulet which ran near the windows. The house was 
 small, but convenient and neatly furnished ; the garden 
 proportioned to the house, and cultivated by the master 
 himself. The latter, completely retired from the world, 
 passed his time amidst the pursuit of letters and ' the 
 occasional society of a few chosen friends. 
 
 Sir William Temple is the most respectable figure of the 
 reign of Charles II. Whenever the merry monarch and 
 his myrmidons found that they had presumed too far upon 
 the loyalty of a long-suffering people, Temple, as the 
 incarnation of virtue, had been always summoned to ex- 
 tricate them from the gulf. On the downfall of Clarendon, 
 he had been called in to negotiate an alliance with the 
 sound Protestant governments of Holland and Sweden. 
 Ten years later, on the exposure of Charles' secret deal- 
 ings with France, Temple's scheme for a reorganisation 
 of the privy council, by which that body was to become an 
 efficient check on the prerogative, was accepted without 
 demur. Yet by the end of the reign Temple found him- 
 self completely shelved. Nor need the result be a matter 
 of surprise. Virtue, acting as a sort of mediator in times 
 of great national ferment, had alwa3's Won success. But 
 such moments were rare in their occurrence ; and men 
 noticed with an amused surprise that, once its task per- 
 formed. Virtue had always retired from the field. In the 
 storm and stress of a continuous political career it refused 
 to share. The dull debate, the tortuous intrigue, the 
 wearisome compromise, might be for others. For Virtue, 
 was to be preserved a perpetual pre-eminence, without 
 any of the toilsome strivings by which, in ordinary cases-, 
 that pre-eminence could be alone attained. The time 
 
Sir William Temple s Secretary. 3 
 
 came, therefore, when Virtue found itself deserted. Fear- 
 ful of making enemies, it had made no friends. Refusing 
 to join any distinct party in the state, it had been dis- 
 owned by all. At last, nothing was left for Virtue but to 
 shake the dust from off its feet and retire to the dignified 
 seclusion of a country seat. 
 
 The picture given of Sir William, in his later years, by 
 his sister Martha, Lady Giffard, is hardly pleasing. His 
 political memories were clouded by an ever-present sense 
 of disappointment. His humour had become " very 
 unequal, from cruel fits of spleen and melancholy." His 
 temper, naturally bad, was kept in uneasy subjection by 
 sheer force of will. An exact observer of nice points of 
 honour, he was ill-apt to make allowance for the deficiencies 
 of others ; liable to strong dislikes, which he only con- 
 cealed with difficulty; and kind to his inferiors, solely 
 because he thought it his duty to be just to all men. In 
 a word, a man capable of making a favourable impres- 
 sion on chance visitors, but a trying companion to his 
 familiars, and an ungracious patron towards those unfor- 
 tunates who might have to stand to him in the relation of 
 dependants. 
 
 Early in 1689 a petition came to Temple from a widow 
 lady, connected by blood and association with his family, 
 asking him to provide an opening in life for her only son. 
 Sir William, busily engaged, in drawing up his memoirs, 
 at once expressed a willingness to take the applicant into 
 his own service as secretary. The offer was accepted ; 
 and, in the summer of i68g, a young man of humble 
 appearance and unpractised manners, but whose strongly- 
 marked features and piercing blue eyes indicated a nature 
 of no common type, appeared at the threshold of Moor 
 Park. The new-comer was Jonathan Swift. 
 
 Full details regarding his birth and parentage are sup- 
 
4 Dean Swift and Ms Writings. 
 
 plied by Swift in a fragment of autobiography, written in 
 1727.^ His grandfather, Thomas Swift, vicar of Good- 
 rich, in Herefordshire, played a stirring part in the Great 
 Rebellion. More royalist than the king, he upheld the 
 Stuart cause from the pulpit, garrisoned his vicarage 
 against the parliament, and sent money and provisions to 
 the loyal commander at Raglan Castle. " At another 
 time," says Jonathan, who was very proud of this ancestor's 
 exploits, "being informed that three hundred horse of the 
 rebel party intended in a week to pass over a certain river, 
 Mr. Swift contrived certain pieces of iron with three spikes, 
 whereof one must always be with the point upward ; he 
 placed them overnight in the ford where he received 
 news that the rebels would pass early the next morning, 
 which they accordingly did, and lost two hundred of their 
 men, who were drowned or trod to death by the falling of 
 their horses, or torn by the spikes." In vain were his 
 flocks driven off, and his house plundered from cellar to 
 garret by Lord Stamford's troopers. It became necessary 
 to extinguish this redoubtable member of the church 
 militant. In 1646, the vicar of Goodrich was arrested and 
 ilung into prison. His private property was sequestrated, 
 and his three livings handed over to sour-visaged fanatics, 
 of whose true Puritan zeal the parliament was well 
 assured. Though released in 1649, he was a broken man. 
 He died in 1658 — two years before the Restoration might 
 have brought him some redress — and his family, " four- 
 
 ■ The Swifts were an old Yorkshire family. The elder branch 
 ended, in the male line, with Barnam Swift, a man of great wit and 
 ability, created Viscount Carlingford, in the peerage of Ireland, in 
 1627. The representative of the younger branch, Thomas Swift, 
 migrated from Yorkshire to Kent, and became preacher at St. 
 Andrew's, Canterbury. He died in 1592. His son, William Swift, 
 who married a Miss Philpot, was father of the Thomas Swift referred 
 to in the text. 
 
Sir William Temples Secretary. 5 
 
 teen or fifteen " in number, were thrown upon the world. 
 Five of his sons made their way to Ireland, the disturbed 
 condition of which country held out chances of fortune to 
 adventurers of every type. Of these, the eldest, Godwin 
 Swift, obtained great fame as a barrister in Dublin. The 
 " seventh or eighth son," Jonathan, though glad to take 
 the crumbs that fell from his rich brother's table, excited 
 the family anger by an indiscreet marriage with Mistress 
 Abigail Eric, daughter of a poor but ancient Leicester- 
 shire family. A daughter was born to him in 1665. He 
 obtained the post of Steward of the King's Inn, Dublin. 
 But in 1667 he died, some months before the birth of a 
 son, the greater Jonathan Swift, who saw the light in a 
 house in Hoey's Court, Dublin, on November 30, 1667. 
 Swift's infancy was destined to be passed in England. 
 " When he was a year old," says the autobiography, 
 which is written in the third person, " his nurse, who was 
 a woman of Whitehaven, being under an absolute neces- 
 sity of seeing one of her relations, who was then extremely 
 sick, and from whom she expected a legacy, and being at 
 the same time extremely fond of the infant, she stole him 
 on shipboard unknown to his mother and uncle, and 
 carried him with her to Whitehaven, where he continued 
 for almost three years. For, when the matter was dis- 
 covered, his mother sent orders by all means not to hazard 
 a second voyage till he could be better able to bear it. 
 The nurse was so careful of him that before he returned 
 he had learned to spell, and by the time he was three 
 years old he could read any chapter in the Bible." 
 
 Mrs. Swift's income consisted only of a settlement of 
 £%Q a year, and her son's education was due to the charity 
 of his uncle Godwin. Swift was wont to assert in later 
 times that his uncle had treated him like a dog. For 
 any special injustice on Godwin's part it would be 
 
6 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 vain to seek. But Swift's haughty nature chafed bitterly 
 at the mere thought of dependence ; and, in his auto- 
 biography, he declares that he felt the consequence of his 
 parents' improvident marriage, "not only through the 
 whole course of his education, but during the greatest part 
 of his life." At the age of six, Jonathan Swift was sent 
 to the foundation school of the Ormonds, at Kilkenny. 
 After remaining here eight years he proceeded to Tiinity 
 College, Dublin, where, with -his cousin Thomas, a son of 
 Godwin Swift, he was admitted on April 24, 1682. In 
 dealing with this period of his life, Swift states that, " by 
 the ill-treatment of his nearest relations, he was so dis- 
 couraged and sunk in his spirits that he too much neg- 
 lected his academic studies, for some parts of which he 
 had no great relish by nature, and turned himself to read- 
 ing history and poetry." As a consequence his university 
 career was not a success. In the terminal examination 
 of Easter, 1685, Jonathan Swift, though marked " bene" 
 in Latin and Greek, was stigmatised as "male" in Philo- 
 sophy, while his Thema, or Latin essay, was only marked 
 "negligenter." He had failed in two out of three sub- 
 jects, and, to use a modern university phrase, the unfor- 
 tunate Jonathan was " plucked." 
 
 In strict rule Swift should have been stopped of his 
 degree till the ensuing year. But the authorities were 
 inclined to temper justice with mercy, and they allowed 
 him to proceed to his B.A. degree on February 15, 1685, 
 speciali gratia. This concession. Swift subsequently con- 
 fessed, was little to his credit. But the results of a 
 university training are to be found elsewhere than in its 
 class lists. That Swift owed the foundation of his great 
 acquirements to Trinity College, Dublin, is an honour of 
 which that institution may be justly proud. 
 
 Swift continued to reside in college in order to qualify for 
 
Sir William Temples Secretary. 7 
 
 his Mastership of Arts. Up to the taking of his B. A. degree 
 he had Hved "with great regularity and observance of the 
 statutes." From that date, however, he began to show a 
 fondness for those minor breaches of the law which tend 
 to enliven the routine of an academic career. On March 
 18, i685, Jonathan Swift was publicly censured for 
 notorious neglect of duties and frequenting the town of 
 Dublin late at night, without leave. Many are the fines 
 imposed on him for non-attendance at chapel, and for 
 missing lectures. Lastly, the college register for Novem- 
 ber 30, 1688, records, in sonorous Latin, that Dominus 
 Swift and some others, for stirring up riots and assailing 
 the junior dean. Dr. Lloyd, with threatening words, are 
 to be suspended from all degrees they have taken or hope 
 to take ; and it adds that Dominus Swift and Dominus 
 Sargeant — quoniam cceteris adhuc intolerahilhis se gesserunt, 
 since they have behaved worse than the others — are to 
 ask pardon of the aforesaid junior dean on bended knee. 
 The first part of the punishment was remitted. From 
 the ignominious apology there seems to have been no 
 escape. But Swift, who was a good hater, nursed his 
 revenge, and in his " Character of Thomas, Earl of 
 Wharton," written many years after, he went out of his 
 way to make Dr. Lloyd the victim of a libel of peculiar 
 atrocity.' 
 
 The Revolution of 1688 was followed by universal con- 
 fusion in Ireland, Trinity College fell into the hands of 
 the Jacobites, The students were dispersed, and Swift, in 
 sorry plight, came to England and made his way to 
 
 » For Swift's university career, see Jolin Barrett, "Essay on tlie 
 Earlier Part of the Life of Swift." It is compiled from the Trinity Col- 
 lege records. There is a long discussion on the same point in John 
 Forster's " Life of Swift." Mr. Forster disagrees with Dr. Barrett's 
 conclusions. 
 
8 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 Leicester, where his mother had now been for some years 
 settled. Godwin Swift had lost much of his property in 
 foolish speculations, and was no longer able to help his 
 nephew. Another uncle, William Swift, settled in 
 Portugal, called by Swift " the best of my relations," 
 occasionally sent supplies, but these were precarious ; 
 and Swift, not liking to be a burden to his mother, was 
 compelled to find some new opening in the world. Mrs. 
 Swift was connected with Lady Temple, and Temple's 
 father, as Master of the Rolls in Ireland, had come into 
 frequent contact with Godwin Swift and the other 
 brothers. It was therefore resolved to send an applica- 
 tion to Sir William Temple on Jonathan's behalf. Its 
 result has already been described, and by the end of 1689 
 Jonathan Swift was domiciled at Moor Park as secretary 
 to Sir William Temple. Swift's duties were to read to 
 his patron, to copy out the rough draught of his memoirs, 
 and to keep accounts. Though not treated with deliberate 
 unkindness, he felt his position keenly. Temple's constant 
 suspicion that the world did not estimate him at his own 
 value had made him the most pompous of men. By his 
 trembling household he was regarded as a demigod. 
 Years afterwards when Swift, as the right-hand man of a 
 great political party, was being treated with deference by 
 princes and ambassadors, he i^emembered what pain he 
 used to suffer when Sir William Temple would look cold 
 and out of humour for three or four days. He recalled 
 how Temple, on one of his good days, would give his 
 secretary a few shillings to begin with and play at cards 
 with him. "Sir William Temple spoilt a fine gentleman," 
 he used to say ; and the enforced subservience to the 
 despot of Moor Park fostered those darker qualities, of 
 which an unhappy childhood had already sown the seeds. 
 Of Lady Temple, the charming Dorothy Osborne, whosq 
 
Sir William Temples Secretary. 9 
 
 early letters to Sir W. Temple are among the most delight- 
 ful in seventeenth-century literature, we hear nothing. 
 The household at Moor Park was under the manage- 
 ment of Temple's sister, Dame Martha Giffard. She was 
 a notable woman, proud as a German canoness, and with 
 an inborn talent for vindictive hatred, who might have 
 sat for the portrait, of Smollett's Tabitha Bramble. But 
 among the inmates of Temple's household was one des- 
 tined to exert a very different influence on Swift's career. 
 Attached to Lady Giffard, in the capacity of confidential 
 servant, was a certain Mrs. Johnson. The latter, though of 
 humble birth, had been married to a younger son of a 
 good Nottinghamshire family, who had been in Temple's 
 employment, probably as steward. Mr. Johnson had 
 died before Swift's arrival at Moor Park, leaving his 
 widow with two young daughters. Of the younger, Ann, 
 at this time little more than an infant, we hear little. The 
 elder, Esther, had been born in 1681, and was now in her 
 eighth year.^ She was a dark-eyed little maid, with 
 
 ' The chief authority for Esther Johnson's parentage and character 
 is Swift's own account in the curious paper, " On the Death of Mrs. 
 Johnson." There was, however, a tradition current, then and long 
 after, that Esther Johnson was, in reality, Sir William Temple's 
 natural child. It is referred to at some length in Mr. Deane Swift's 
 life of his great kinsman. Though documentary evidence is lacking, 
 there are strong presumptive grounds for the above belief. Firstly : 
 Esther Johnson always occupied an anomalous position in Temple's 
 household. She received an extremely good education ; she seems 
 to have moved on almost equal terms with the family and their 
 friends ; and she is always spoken of in a very distinct way from her 
 sister Ann ; Swift describing the latter as ''a good, modest sort of 
 girl." Secondly: There is the significant fact that Sir William 
 Temple in his will singled out Esther Johnson for a special and valu- 
 able legacy. Yet Temple's fortune barely sufficed to keep up the 
 family dignity, and his other dependants received nothing but the 
 most trifling gifts. 
 
lo Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 winning ways, and a most lovable disposition. In his 
 hours of idleness the sullen Irish secretary found his way 
 to the child's side, and in'the training of her infant mind 
 laid the foundations of an intimacy, the tale of which is 
 the most fascinating in romantic history. When Swift, 
 in later years, thought of his first gloomy residence with 
 Temple, he could always recall with pleasure, that it had 
 enabled him to be " little Stella's first writing-master." 
 
 In the spring of i6go. Swift began to suffer from attacks 
 of vertigo and deafness. It was suggested that a return 
 to, Ireland might benefit him, and he left Moor Park in 
 May. To Temple, Swift had as yet been a nonentity ; and 
 in recommending him to the Irish Secretary, Sir Robert 
 Southwell, he solemnly stated that the future author of 
 the ablest political pamphlet and the most scathing satire 
 in English literature, was honest, diligent, and wrote a 
 good current hand. 
 
 Swift failed to obtain any settled position through 
 Southwell's influence, and by the end of 1691 he was back 
 at Moor Park. Swift had now resolved to obtain his 
 Mastership of Arts. He disliked the idea of a return to 
 Trinity College, Dublin. In the summer of 1692, there- 
 fore, he went to Oxford, where he was entered at Hart 
 Hall. On showing the certificate of his Dublin B.A. 
 degree he was admitted by the Oxford authorities, ad 
 eundem, and on July 5th he took the degree of M.A.^ 
 The possession of a full Oxford degree would, under any 
 circumstances, have given him an improved social position. 
 But some inkling of his secretary's abilities had begun to 
 dawn upon Temple, and Swift now began to be entrusted 
 with important business. Temple's diplomatic work in 
 
 " Swift seems to have thoroughly enjoyed his visit to Oxford, where 
 he says " he had been obliged in a few weeks to strangers more than 
 in seven years to Dublin College." 
 
Sir William Temples Secretary. ii 
 
 Holland had brought him into early connection with 
 William of Orange. After the latter became King of 
 England, as William the Third, he frequently visited 
 Moor Park. On one occasion Mr. Jonathan Swift had 
 the honour of escorting his Majesty round the gardens. 
 The king was much taken with the young secretary's 
 address, showed him how to cut asparagus in the Dutch 
 style, and promised him the royal patronage in his future 
 career. In 1693, Swift was sent, at Temple's suggestion, 
 to point out to the king the impolicy of refusing his assent 
 to the Triennial Act. But 'V\'illiam, who had a high idea 
 of his prerogative, refused to listen to Swift's representa- 
 tions ; a result which, it would seem from the autobio- 
 graphy, caused the latter much chagrin. 
 
 The second residence with Temple is interesting as the 
 period of Swift's first literary efforts. They took the 
 shape of long poems, written in the style of Pindaric odes, 
 which were extremely fashionable at that time.' Any- 
 thing more out of touch with Swift's real bent and 
 capacity it would be impossible to imagine. Three of 
 these effusions have been preserved : an ode to Sancroft, 
 an address to the Athenian Society, and — most heart- 
 rending of all — an address to Sir William Temple. 
 
 That great man is represented as warding off, without 
 an effort — 
 
 " The wily shafts of state, those jugglers' tricks 
 Which we call deep designs and politics." 
 
 The fight between Virtue — i.e., the Right Honourable 
 Sir William Temple, baronettus — and the spirit of Evil 
 is thus described : — 
 
 ' They were, however, preceded by a metrical translation of the 
 iSth Ode of Horace's 2nd Book, written at Oxford. 
 
12 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 " And though as some ('tis said) for their defence 
 Have worn a casement o'er their skin 
 So he wore his within, 
 Made up of virtue and transparent innocence, 
 
 And though he oft renewed the fight, 
 And ahnost got priority of right, 
 
 He ne'er could overcome her quite, 
 In pieces cut, the viper still did reunite." 
 
 Fortunately Swift soon wearied of these super-heroic 
 flights. For the time he continued to write poetry, but 
 in a less ambitious strain. 
 
 He produced an ode to King "William and an address 
 to his old school and college friend, Congreve the 
 dramatist. But Temple still dominated the horizon. 
 When that great man recovered from an illness in 
 December, 1693, Swift felt called upon to celebrate the 
 event in a torrent of rhymed couplets. While Temple 
 lay in danger, we are told : — 
 
 " Joy every face forsook, 
 And grief flung sables on each menial look ; 
 The humble tribe mourned for the quickening soul. 
 That furnished spirit and motion through the whole ; 
 So would earth's face turn pale, and life decay, 
 Should Heaven suspend to act but for a day ; 
 So nature's crazed convulsions make us dread 
 That time is sick, or the world's mind is dead." 
 
 Lady Temple has a special passage to herself : — 
 
 " Mild Dorothea, peaceful, wise, and great, 
 Trembling beheld the doubtful hand of fate ; 
 Mild Dorothea, whom we both have long 
 Not dared to injure with .our lowly song, 
 Sprung from a better world, and chosen then 
 The best companion for the best of men." 
 
 Even grim Dame Martha, whom Swift in his later 
 
Sir William Temples Secretary. 13 
 
 days spoke of as that old beast, receives a shower of praise 
 under the melodious name of Dorinda. 
 
 It would seem that this last effort exhausted poor Swift's 
 stock of patience. The proffer of the royal patronage had 
 opened out to him a vista of the promised land of indepen- 
 dence. He had already made up his mind to enter the 
 Church, and, early in 1694, he began to ask Sir William for 
 some definite promise of support in the clerical profession. 
 But Temple was very disinclined to give Swift his liberty. 
 He asked for time to consider the matter; declared it was 
 impossible to obtain preferment just now; and in general 
 showed himself so adverse to Swift's aspirations, that the 
 latter at length had a violent quarrel with his patron and 
 left for Ireland, resolved to rely on his own efforts. Un- 
 fortunately the young man had forgotten an important 
 detail. He applied in due course to the Irish ecclesiastical 
 authorities for ordination ; but the latter naturally refused 
 to accede to his request till he could give them the usual 
 certificate as to his good conduct, during the last three 
 years. The only person who could give such a certificate 
 was Temple ; and Swift, after a frightful internal struggle, 
 had to swallow his pride and send his patron a humili- 
 ating appeal. What anguish such a letter as the following 
 caused to the writer can be well imagined : — 
 
 " Dublin, October 6, 1694. 
 " May it please your Honour, — . . . The sense I am 
 in, how low I am fallen in your honour's thoughts, has 
 denied me assurance enough to beg this favour, till I find 
 it impossible to avoid; and I entreat your honour to 
 understand that no person is admitted here to a living 
 without some knowledge of his abilities for it. ... I en- 
 treat that your honour will consider this, and will please 
 
14 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 to send me some certificate of my behaviour during almost 
 three years in your family ; wherein I shall stand in need 
 of all your goodness to excuse my many weaknesses and 
 oversight, much more to say anything to my advantage. 
 The particulars expected of me are what relate to morals 
 and learning, and the reasons of quitting your honour's 
 family, that is, whether the last was occasioned by any ill 
 actions. They are all left entirely to your honour's mercy, 
 though in the first I think I cannot reproach myself any 
 further than for infirmities. This is all I dare beg at pre- 
 sent from your honour, under circumstances of life not' 
 worth your regard : what is left me to wish (next to the 
 health and prosperity of your honour and family) is, that 
 Heaven would one day allow me the opportunity of leaving 
 my acknowledgment at your feet for so many favours I 
 have received ; which, whatever effect they have had upon 
 my fortune, shall never fail to have the greatest upon my 
 mind, in approving myself, upon all occasions, your 
 honour's most obedient and most dutiful servant, 
 
 "Jonathan Swift." 
 
 Temple was far too lofty a being to bear malice towards 
 Mr. Secretary Swift, especially when the latter had shown 
 so proper a sense of his base ingratitude. He sent the 
 required certificate. Swift was ordained on October 25, 
 1694, and on January 28, 1695, he was presented by Lord 
 Capel to the prebend of Kilroot, near Belfast. It was 
 worth about ;£'ioo a year. 
 
 Swift's first experience of the Irish Church was very 
 short. Kilroot was intensely dull. Excepting an old 
 Trinity chum named Waring, and an Oxford friend, Mr. 
 "Winder, Swift could find no society. Tho.ugh well pro- 
 vided with books he missed Temple's excellent library. 
 Partly in sheer desperation, partly out of that curious 
 
Sir William Temples Secretary. 15 
 
 longing to win the heart of any agreeable woman who 
 happened to be much thrown in his society, Swift made 
 furious love to Waring's sister, whom he styled Varina. 
 The following passage from a letter dated April 29, 1696, 
 in which Swift upbraids the lady's coldness, is worthy of 
 the Grand, Cyre : — 
 
 " Surely, Varina, you have but a very mean opinion of 
 the joys that accompany a true, honourable, unlimited 
 love ; yet either nature and our ancestors have highly 
 deceived us, or else all other sublunary things are dross 
 in comparison. Is it possible you can be yet insensible to 
 the prospect of a rapture and delight so innocent and so 
 exalted ? Trust me, Varina, Heaven has given us nothing 
 else worth the loss of a thought. Ambition, high appear- 
 ances, friends, and fortunes are all tasteless and insipid 
 when they come in competition. Yet millions of such 
 glorious minutes are we perpetually losing — for ever, irre- 
 coverably losing — to qualify empty forms and wrong 
 notions, and affected coldness and peevish humour. 
 These are the unhappy encumbrances which we who are 
 distinguished from the vulgar do fondly create to torment 
 ourselves. The only felicity permitted to human life we 
 clogwith tedious cii'cumstances and barbarous formality.'' 
 It may be that the lady doubted the good faith of such 
 hyperbolical proposals. She delayed the desired answer, 
 and the only other extant letter of Swift to her, to be 
 referred to in the next chapter, forms the drop-scene of 
 this curious comedy. 
 
 Sir William Temple, with all an old man's dislike to 
 any change in his habits, had soon begun to regret Swift's 
 absence. Lady Temple died in January, 1695, and he 
 felt very lonely now.^ 
 
 ' Lady Temple died about a month after Queen l\Iary. Lady 
 Giffard declares, with characteristic family pride, that the two had 
 
i6 Dean Swift and his Writings. ■ 
 
 Letters soon began to arrive at Kilroot, inviting Swift's 
 return. To be a guest where he had formerly been a 
 dependant, seemed to Swift a triumph. To come at 
 Temple's express invitation, would place him in the posi- 
 tion of one who grants instead of receiving favours. In 
 May, 1696, therefore, Swift returned to England. He 
 left the charge of Kilroot in the hands of the Oxford 
 friend, Mr. Winder, and by the end of 1697 had formally 
 resigned the living in his favour. 
 
 Swift's last residence with Temple was very different to 
 the two preceding. Treated as an honoured guest he was 
 left to order things his own way. Temple saw few 
 visitors, and was often confined to his room by illness. 
 Swift had thus much time thrown on his hands. Most of 
 this he devoted to reading. He took long walks in the 
 neighbourhood, and he drew closer the bond between 
 himself and Esther Johnson, now growing into woman- 
 hood. He scribbled on subjects innumerable for his own 
 amusement, and he revised his manuscript of the "Tale 
 of a Tub." In 1697, when the Temples went to London 
 to get a sight of Peter the Great, then on a visit to Eng- 
 land, Swift remained behind as master of the house. " I 
 live in great state," he says in a letter of the time, " and 
 the cook comes in to know what I please to have for 
 dinner. I ask very gravely what is in the house, and 
 accordingly give orders for a dish of pigeons, or &c." 
 
 But Swift had at last found an opening for- his ambition 
 in the political world. The patriotic enthusiasm which 
 had produced the Revolution of 1688 had long since died 
 away, and public life had again fallen back into the usual 
 struggle for place, in which the victory was to the most 
 dexterous or the most compliant. Swift may possibly 
 
 been close personal friends. Lady Temple's own death being hastened 
 by grief at her Majesty's. 
 
Sir William Temples Secretary. 17 
 
 have once had high ideas of civic virtue. But they had 
 been crushed out by a miserable childhood and a youth 
 of slavery ; and his sole aim v^^as now the attainment, by 
 fair means or foul, of personal distinction. "All my 
 endeavours from a boy," he afterwards confessed to Pope, 
 " were only for want of a great title and fortune, that I 
 might be used like a lord by those who have an opinion 
 of my parts ; whether right or wrong is no great matter." 
 Nothing proves the truth of this statement more than 
 that Swift at this, his entry into the political arena, 
 should have attached himself to Lord Sunderland. The 
 motto of that original genius had been. Thorough. When 
 the bill for excluding the Duke of York from the throne 
 was brought forward, he was the most determined of its 
 supporters. When the Duke of York became king as 
 James II., Sunderland promptly went over to the court, 
 was chief agent in the prosecution of the seven bishops, 
 and, to completely win the favour of his royal master, 
 became a Catholic. As soon as James II. 's throne began 
 to totter, Sunderland threw himself heart and soul into the 
 cause of William of Orange ; and in 1697, after a period 
 of diplomatic seclusion, the world learnt with astonish- 
 ment that this arch-plotter, having won another sovereign's 
 ear, had been made chamberlain of the royal household, 
 sworn of the privy council, and named one of the lords 
 justices who were to administer the government during 
 the king's absence. Of Swift's relations to Sunderland 
 the authorities, unfortunately, give us no information. It 
 is not unnatural that the latter must have gladly availed 
 himself of a supporter whose brilliant abilities later events 
 so amply proved. It is possible, too, that Swift may 
 at this time have taken some part in the pamphlet war 
 that was being waged on the question of standing armies. 
 But Swift's first political adventure was doomed to disap- 
 
 3 
 
1 8 Demi Swift and his Writings. 
 
 pointment. Except for a few kindred spirits, whose sym- 
 pathy was an insult, Sunderland was utterly alone. Whigs 
 and Tories readily joined together to attack one who was so 
 hopelessly their superior in the baser arts of political 
 warfare. In a few weeks' time the lord chamberlain, 
 warned of a coming motion against him in the House of 
 Commons, resigned. "Lord Sunderland fell," says Swift, 
 with enigmatic brevity, " and I fell with him." 
 
 A literary episode fortunately arose at this time to 
 occupy his attention. The French writer Fontenelle had, 
 in an unguarded moment, declared that the writers of 
 the present day surpassed in every respect those of clas- 
 sical times. Fontenelle had long been the standing butt 
 of literary France, and his dictum was greeted with a- 
 universal howl. Defenders of the ancients started up on 
 every side. The contest between the rival partisans soon 
 grew so furious that its fame spread across the channel; 
 and the English wits, not to be outdone by their brethren of 
 France, rushed with avidity to arms. Sir William Temple 
 remembered the time when his appearance — vir pietaie 
 gravis — had stilled the fight between prerogative and 
 liberty. He accordingly put forward a treatise on " Ancient 
 and Modern Learning," which, it was hoped, would drive 
 back the moderns in shame to their entrenchments. But 
 he had yet to learn that men of letters heed not that 
 scriptural maxim which bids a combatant make peace 
 with his adversar}' quickly. His intei'ference added fuel 
 to the flames. Temple's essay received a prompt answer 
 from the Rev. William Wotton. But this was only a 
 beginning. Temple had, in his pamphlet, declared that 
 the more remote the time, the better the authors. jiEsop 
 and Phalaris were, according to him, the earliest of known 
 authors. What fables were more delightful than those of 
 ^sop ? What letters so brilliant as those of Phalaris ? 
 
Sir William Temples Secretary. 19 
 
 Encouraged by Temple's dictum, the Hon. Charles Boyle, 
 of Chiist Church, Oxford, published a new edition of the 
 " Letters of Phalaris." The preface to Boyle's work 
 contained an ironical reflection on Dr. Bentley, the 
 greatest classical scholar of the day, afterwards master of 
 Trinity College, Cambridge, but at that time keeper of 
 the royal library in St. James's Palace. The latter 
 promptly rushed into the fray on the side of the moderns. 
 He proved that the so-called letters of Phalaris were a 
 clumsy forgery of later times, and overwhelmed Temple, 
 Boyle, and all their following, with a torrent of sarcastic 
 ridicule. An answer from Boyle and a rejoinder from 
 Bentley soon appeared, till to the contest there seemed to 
 be no end. It was now that Swift wrote his " Battle of 
 the Books," or, to give the work its full title, "A Full and 
 True Account of the Battle Fought last Friday Between 
 the Ancient and the Modern Books in St. James's Library." 
 Though Swift, for Temple's sake, supports the cause of 
 the ancients, the pamphlet is far more a satire than a 
 polemic. 
 
 The moderns in this celebrated battle begin by boasting 
 of their originality — a claim scornfully derided by the 
 ancients, and, after much mutual reviling, ancients and 
 moderns confront one another in hostile array. The 
 attention of the opposing forces is however suddenly 
 drawn off by a dispute between a spider and a bee. ^sop, 
 on behalf of the ancients, points to this as typical of the 
 present wrangle. The spider has boasted of her web, all 
 built with her own hands and from materials extracted out 
 of her own person, while the bee is a freebooter over fields 
 and gardens, and a universal plunderer of nature. The 
 bee in answer laughs ^t the filthy cobweb, which is the 
 only result of the spider's toil, and glories in the fact that 
 his own goods are sought for frorn every corner of the 
 
20 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 world. jEsop gaily applies the fable, mutato nomine. The 
 moderns, with all their boasted originality, says he, produce, 
 like the spider, nothing but dirt and poison. The ancients, 
 like the bee, acknowledge their indebtedness to the world 
 in general, and just as the bee fills his hive with honey 
 and wax, so we, says ^sop, furnish mankind with the two 
 noblest of things, which are sweetness and light. This 
 taunt rouses the moderns to frenzy, and war is declared. 
 
 Great interest is taken in its fortunes by the Olympian 
 deities. Momus, god of laughter, resolves to champion 
 the moderns, and goes to seek aid of the goddess of 
 criticism. The description of this malignant demon is 
 the gem of the whole pamphlet. She is discovered on 
 the top of a snowy mountain in Nova Zembla, extended 
 upon the spoils of numerous volumes, half devoured. 
 Around, are her father and mother. Ignorance and Pride; 
 her sister. Opinion ; and her children, Noise, Impudence, 
 Dulness, Vanity, Positiveness, Pedantry, and Ill-manners. 
 "It is I," she says, "who give wisdom to infants and 
 idiots ; by me children grow wiser than their parents, by 
 me beaux become politicians, and schoolboys judges of 
 philosophy ; by me sophisters debate and conclude upon 
 the depths of knowledge ; and coffee-house wits, instinct 
 by me, can correct an author's style, and display his 
 minutest errors, without understanding a syllable of his 
 matter or of his language." The goddess, in answer to 
 Momus, tells various members of her family to attend the 
 leaders of the moderns ; and the battle, which is described 
 in true Homeric style, now begins. The great heroes of 
 classical literature. Homer, Pindar, and Virgil, perform 
 prodigies of valour, and bear down all before them. 
 Temple, as general of a select band of moderns allied 
 to the ancients, shows a vigour worthy of his cause. 
 Bentley, whose uncouth scurrility }ias rendered I'jim odious 
 
.^t^y t^^.Ji/u- /i. 
 
Sir William Temples Secretary. ±t 
 
 even to his friends, sneaks up to the ancients' camp at 
 nightfall and steals the armour of Phalaris and ^sop. 
 Wotton, on a similar intention bent, throws a lance at 
 Temple's sleeping form ; but the latter's henchman, 
 Boyle, promptly avenges the outrage on his master. " As 
 a young lion ... if chance a wild ass, with brayings 
 importune, affront his ear, the generous beast, though 
 loathing to distain his claws with blood so vile, yet much 
 provoked by the offensive noise . . . hunts the noisy 
 long-ear'd animal. So Wotton fled, so Boyle pursued." 
 In vain Bentley comes to Wotton's aid. Boyle's fury 
 grows the greater, and he hurls his lance with such 
 tremendous force that Wotton and Bentley are transfixed 
 at one fell blow. " As when a skilful cook has trussed a 
 brace of woodcocks, he with one iron skewer pierces the 
 tender sides of both, their legs and wings close pinioned 
 to the ribs ; so was this pair of friends transfixed, till 
 down they fell, joined in their lives, joined in their deaths; 
 so closely joined that Charon would mistake them both for 
 one, and waft them over Styx for half his fare." 
 
 With the " Battle of the Books " Swift's last residence 
 at Moor Park came to an end. Sir William Temple had 
 long been sinking under a complication of diseases, and 
 he died on January 27, 1699. Swift had thoroughly 
 enjoyed his last stay at Moor Park, and it is not unlikely 
 that, during the last illness, Temple's better qualities 
 alone had shown themselves, and that Swift's last 
 memories of his patron were not unkindly. To Esther 
 Johnson Temple's will left some land at Monistown, in 
 the county of Wicklow, Ireland. To Swift Temple be- 
 queathed a legacy of £100, and "the care, trust, and 
 advantage of publishing his posthumous writings." The 
 latter eventually appeared in five volumes. From their 
 publication, which extended over ten years, Swift seems 
 
,22 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 to have derived a small profit.^ But the task, which en- 
 tailed much rearrangement and revision, was extremely 
 irksome, and, moreover, involved Swift in long and 
 bitter disputes with Lady Giffard. 
 
 ' From Swift's papers it appears that for the third part of Temple's 
 Memoirs he received £\o. There is no evidence to shovi' what his 
 gains were from the other four parts. 
 
CHAPTER IL 
 
 AN ALLY OF THE WHIGS. 
 
 Effect of circumstances on Swift's character — His position on 
 Temple's death — Goes to Ireland as chaplain to Lord Berkeley— 
 His various disappointments — Obtains livings of Laracor, Agher, 
 and Ralhbeggan ; and the prebend of Dunlaven — His life at 
 Dublin Castle — "Meditation on a Broomstick" — "Petition of 
 Mrs. Harris on the loss of her purse '' — Swift settles at Laracor — 
 His life there — Varina— Goes to London — "The Dissensions in 
 Athens and Rome" — Swift intimate with the Whig leaders — 
 The Act against Occasional Conformity — Settlement of Stella and 
 Mrs. Dingley in Ireland— The Tisdall episode — The "Tale of a 
 Tub " — Effects of this work — Toleration policy of the Whigs — 
 Swift wavers in his allegiance to them — Comes to England in 
 November, 1707, to obtain first-fruits for Irish Church. 
 
 With the death of Sir William Temple the first part of 
 Swift's career comes to an end. Henceforward he is his 
 own master, and the steps he takes are of his own de- 
 liberate choice. The preceding chapter has explained 
 how great an influence the events of his education and 
 early manhood had upon his character and aims. W^e 
 have shown how the germ of prid-e, implanted in him by 
 nature, was fostered by circumstances till it became a 
 domineering passion. In the succeeding chapters we shall 
 show the variations of this feeling, during the stress of 
 early struggles, till its triumph in the very highest fields of 
 social and political success ; and we shall trace its gradual 
 
 23 
 
24 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 degeneration into cynicism, isolation, and misanthropy 
 during the long years of an enforced and gloomy retire- 
 ment. With this we have to chronicle the achievements 
 of an active career, and to analyse the products of an 
 original and fertile genius. 
 
 The death of his patron left Swift completely stranded. 
 He had resigned his Irish living, and he had as yet failed to 
 obtain a fixed position as a writer or politician. His first 
 step, says the autobiography, was to go to London and 
 apply by petition to King William, who, it seems, had 
 promised Sir William Temple to give Swift a prebend of 
 Canterbury or W^estminster. The Earl of Romney, a 
 brother of the ill-fated Algernon Sidney, who was now in 
 great favour at court, engaged to second the petition. 
 Romney, a trifler and a debauchee, however, took no 
 trouble in the matter; and "Mr. Swift, having totally 
 relied on this lord's honour, and having neglected to use 
 any instrument of reminding his Majesty of the promise 
 made to Sir William Temple, after long attendance in 
 vain, thought it better to comply with an invitation given 
 him by the Earl of Berkeley to attend him to Ireland as 
 his chaplain and private secretary ; his lordship haying 
 been appointed one of the lords justices of that kingdom, 
 with the Duke of Bolton and the Earl of Galway, on June 
 2g, 1699. He attended his lordship, who hnded near 
 Waterford ; and ]\Ir. Swift acted as secretary the whole 
 journey to Dublin. But another person had so far in- 
 sinuated himself into the earl's favour by telling him that 
 the post of secretary was not proper for a clergyman, nor 
 would be of any advantage to one who aimed only at 
 church preferments, that his lordship, after a poor apology, 
 gave that office to the other." There were other disap- 
 pointments in store ; and Swift, who was furious when his 
 claims were disregarded, comments upon them with great 
 
An Ally of the Whigs. 25 
 
 bitterness. Just at this time the deanery of Derry fell 
 vacant. Its disposal was entrusted to Lord Berkeley, and 
 Swift confidently expected to obtain it. But the unscupu- 
 lous secretary, " having received a bribe," persuaded his 
 lordship to give the prize to Dr. Theophilus Bolton. The 
 lord justice told Swift he was too young for a deanery, and 
 put him off with the rectory of Agher, and the vicarage 
 of Laracor and Rathbeggan in Meath. They were worth 
 about £200 a year altogether — " not a third part of the 
 deanery of Derr}^" Swift indignantly remarks. In the 
 following year, September, 1700, the Archbishop of 
 Dublin conferred upon him the prebend of Duplaven in 
 the cathedral of St. Patrick's. But this slight addition 
 does not seem to have put Swift in a better humour. 
 However, Lord Berkeley would have been far too great 
 a man to quarrel with ; Swift concealed his disappoint- 
 ment as well as he could, and settled down to his duties 
 as chaplain at Dublin Castle. 
 
 He thoroughly enjoyed a position in which his peculiar 
 talent for the first time had full play. Of Lord Berkeley 
 himself we hear little. Lady Berkeley, who had what 
 would now be called strong Evangelical inclinations, was 
 much attached to devotional books of the vapid type. 
 Swift, part of whose duties was to read these productions 
 to her ladyship, was one day instructed to take up a work 
 which he held in especial horror — Boyle's Meditations. 
 To revenge himself he, therefore, substituted for one of the 
 passages in the text an invention of his own, entitled, "A 
 Meditation upon a Broomstick,'' from which the following 
 is extracted : — 
 
 " This single stick, which you now behold ingloriously 
 lying in that neglected corner, I once knew in a flourishing 
 state in a forest : it was full of sap, full of leaves, and 
 full of boughs ; but now in vain does the busy art of man 
 
26 Dean Swift and his WHtings. 
 
 pretend to vie with nature, by tying that withered bundle 
 of twigs to its sapless trunli. . . . When I beheld this I 
 sighed and said within myself, ' Surely man is a broomstick ! 
 Nature sent him into the world strong and lusty, in a 
 thriving condition, wearing his own hair on his head, the 
 proper branches of this reasoning vegetable, until the axe 
 of intemperance has lopped off his green boughs, and left 
 them a withered trunk ; he then flies to art and puts on 
 a periwig, valuing himself upon an unnatural bundle of 
 hairs (all covered with powder) that never grew on his 
 head. . . .' 
 
 " But^ broomstick, perhaps you will say, is an emblem 
 of a tree standing on its head ; and pray what is man but 
 a topsy-turvy creature, his animal faculties perpetually 
 mounted on his rational, his head where his heels should 
 be, grovelling on the earth ? And yet, with all his faults, 
 he sets up to be a universal reformer and corrector of 
 abuses, a remover of grievances, rakes into every slut's 
 corner of nature, bringing hidden corruptions to the light, 
 and raises a mighty dust where there was none before ; 
 sharing deeply all the while in the very same pollutions 
 he pretends to sweep away;vhis last days are spent in 
 slavery to women, and generally the least deserving ; till, 
 worn out to the stumps, like his brother besom, he is either 
 kicked out of doors, or made use of to kindle flames for 
 others to warm themselves by." 
 
 Lady Berkeley, who, like all persons of her stamp, had 
 no sense of humour, derived great consolation from the 
 above masterpiece. 
 
 With Lord Berkeley's daughters, the Ladies Betty, 
 Mary, and Penelope, Swift was a great favourite — the first 
 of them remaining his friend and correspondent through 
 life. They completely submitted to his autocratic ways, 
 in return for which he regaled them with a rich flow of 
 
An Ally of the Whigs. 27 
 
 merriment and wit. As Lady Betty expressed it in a 
 doggerel rhyme, tacked on to some verses of Swift's own, 
 describing a card-party at the castle : — 
 
 " With these is parson Swift, 
 
 Not knowing how to spend his time, 
 Does make a wretched shift, 
 To deafen them with puns and rhyme." 
 
 Of the latter the best which has survived is " The 
 Petition of Mrs. Frances Harris." One of the servants 
 having lost her purse raises the whole castle with her 
 lamentations. All the other domestics are put under 
 examination. 
 
 Says Cary, says he, " I have been a servant this five-and-twenty years 
 
 come spring, 
 And in all the places I lived I never heard of such a thing." 
 " Yes," says the steward, " I remember when I was at my Lord 
 
 Shrewsbury's, 
 Such a .hing as this happened iust about the time of gooseberries." 
 
 T.Iiss Frances taxes the wife of a footman with having 
 taken it. 
 
 " The devil take me ! " said she (blessing herself), " if ever I saw't ! " 
 So she roared like a bedlam, as though I had called her all to naught. 
 So you know what could I say to her any more ? 
 I e'en left her and came away as wise as I was before. 
 
 At last Miss Harris applies to parson Swift for assist- 
 ance in her search. 
 
 "Parson," said I, "can you cast a /za/zV/Zy when a body's plundered?" 
 
 (Now you must know he hates to be called parson, like the devil!) 
 
 " Truly," says he, " Mrs. Nab, it might become you to be more civil ; 
 
 If your money be gone, as a learned divine says, d'ye see, 
 
 You are no text for my handling ; so take that from me : 
 
 I was never taken for a conjurer before, I'd have you to know." 
 
 Eventually Lord Berkeley quiets the complainant by an 
 ample present. 
 
28 Dean Szvift and his Writings. 
 
 The poem is an instance of Swift's lightest and most 
 humorous manner; it has special interest, moreover, 
 owing to the insight it shows into the character of 
 servants — a line subsequently developed by Swift in his 
 "Advice to Servants." 
 
 Some months after Swift's appointment to the living of 
 Laracor he went down to take possession. It was 
 situated in the county of Meath, about a mile and a half 
 from the town of Trim. Swift arrived to find an ill-kept 
 church, and a dilapidated parsonage. His first duty was 
 to repair the one and rebuild the other. He laid out a 
 garden, in which he imitated the Dutch tulip beds, 
 straight canal, and quaint lines of willows which he 
 remembered at Moor Park. As time went on he in- 
 creased the amount of glebe, and endowed the parish 
 with additional tithes purchased at his own cost. Re- 
 garding his spiritual work there are few details. Tra- 
 ditions regarding the eccentricities of himself and his 
 clerk, Roger Coxe, subsequently grew up. But they are 
 as authentic as the epigrams which have been attributed 
 to Talleyrand, or the puns which have been fathered on 
 Sydney Smith. In a letter to Archbishop King Swift 
 speaks with sarcastic indifference of his " audiences of 
 half a score " ; and it may be safely concluded that Swift, 
 like most of the Irish churchmen of this time, was not 
 actuated by strong missionary zeal. His ambition was 
 political, not religious ; and his heart was far more set 
 upon shaging the conduct of English statesmen than on 
 saving the souls of a few Leinster peasantry. 
 
 It was during this settlement at Laracor that his first 
 love affair came to a termination. Reference has already 
 been made to Miss Waring, the Varina whose fascinations 
 had attracted Swift's attention at Kilroot. That lady 
 had heard of the improvement made in Swift's position 
 
An Ally of the Whigs. 29 
 
 by his chaplaincy at DubHn Castle, and his living of 
 Laracor. He had already offered her his heart, which 
 it would seem, from the scanty evidence extant, had 
 been accepted. When, however, she now pressed him to 
 fulfil his promise. Swift began to draw back. A strange 
 aversion to marriage, due partly to physical reasons, but 
 more, we believe, to an overpowering sense of moral 
 and intellectual isolation, had- been upon him ever since 
 he came to man's estate ; and the letter he now wrote to 
 Miss Waring indicates a resolve to rid himself at all costs 
 of an embarrassing intimacy.' 
 
 Swift began with a long string of explanations and 
 excuses. He expresses much concern at the lady's ill 
 health, and trusts that nothing on his part is to blame 
 for it. He thought that a full and clear statement of his 
 position had been already made, but as she is not yet 
 satisfied, he will answer her last letter, point by point. 
 She has expressed some surprise at the altered style of 
 his letters since his return to Ireland. This is not due, 
 as she insinuates, to the fact of his having found another 
 love. But he has tried to get her " from the company 
 and place she is now in." Her present circle of friends 
 is unworthy of her and hateful to himself, and seeing 
 that she is possessed of means, she might have acquiesced 
 in his suggestions and removed elsewhere. She must 
 hold him in very slight regard to pay no attention to his 
 requests. Her uncle Adam has been interfering in the 
 matter. He has asked for a categorical statement of 
 Swift's intentions, on the ground that the present con- 
 dition of uncertainty was doing Miss Waring considerable 
 harm. But Swift declares he has no wish to tie the lady 
 down to a hard and fast engagement. His living of 
 
 ■ The letter is dated Dublin, Mny 4, 1700. 
 
30 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 Laracor is a dismal place, and as yet unfit to live in. He 
 must either hire a house at Trim, which would be very 
 inconvenient, or build one for himself on the ground, 
 which would be too costly. However, if she is willing to 
 overlook all possible difficulties, he has no objection to a 
 definite arrangement. The letter ends as follows : — 
 
 "Are you in a condition to manage domestic affairs, 
 with an income of less (perhaps) than ;£"300 ^ a year ? 
 Have you such an inclination to my person and humour 
 as to comply with my desires and way of living, and 
 endeavour to make us both as happy as you can ? Will 
 you be ready to engage in those methods I shall direct 
 for the improvement of your mind, so as to make us en- 
 tertaining company for each other, without being miserable 
 when we are neither visiting nor visited ? Can you bend 
 your love and esteem and indifference to others the same 
 way as I do mine ? Shall I have so much power in your 
 heart, or you so much government of your passions, as to 
 grow in good humour upon my approach ? Have you 
 so much good 'nature as to endeavour by soft words to 
 smooth any rugged humour occasioned by the cross 
 accidents of life ? Shall the place wherever your 
 husband is thrown be more welcome than courts or 
 cities without him ? In short, these are some of the 
 necessary methods to please men who, like me, are deep- 
 read in the world; and to a person thus made I should 
 be proud in giving all due returns towards making her 
 happy. These are the questions I have always resolved 
 to propose to her with whom I meant to pass my life ; 
 and whenever you can heartily answer them in the 
 affirmative, I shall be blessed to have you in my arms, 
 
 ' Mr. Forster, after careful calculation, estimates the value of 
 Swift's livings, Dunlaven included, at ^230 a year. Miss Waring had 
 ;£ioo a year "to her fortune." 
 
An Ally of the Whigs. 31 
 
 without regarding whether your person be beautiful or 
 your fortune large. Cleanliness in the first, and competency 
 in the other, is all I look for." 
 
 The studied insults of the letter, whtch the reader will 
 do well to compare with the one quoted in the last 
 chapter, had the desired result. Henceforth Swift passed 
 out of Varina's life. 
 
 On February 16, 1701, Swift took his degree of Doctor 
 of Divinity at Trinity College, Dublin, and in the April 
 following he went with the Berkeley family to England. 
 He found the political world in a state of extraordinary 
 agitation. William of Orange had been gradually be- 
 coming more and more unpopular. Not merely the Tories, 
 who had only accepted the Revolution as a necessary 
 evil, but the moderate Whigs also were beginning to turn 
 against him. His desire for a standing army, his frequent 
 exercise of the royal veto, his exaggerated interest in- 
 foreign affairs, the management of which, moreover, he 
 kept strictly in his own hands, and, most of all, his pre- 
 dilection for Dutch favourites, had raised him up a host 
 of enemies. The parliament chosen in February, 1701, 
 showed itself bitterly hostile. Though a French prince 
 had just acquired the whole of the old Spanish dominions, 
 they refused to show the slightest sympathy with 
 William's fears of French aggression. At length the 
 Commons decided to formally impeach the leaders of the 
 Whig party and the king's most trusted servants — Lords 
 Somers, Halifax, Orford, and Portland. Swift's political 
 inclinations were at this time strongly Whig. He dis- 
 liked fanaticism in politics as much as in religion ; and 
 he hoped to reap some reward by standing forward on 
 behalf of the king and his ministers at this juncture. He 
 therefore wrote and published his first political tract, 
 " The Dissensions in Athens and Rome, and the Con- 
 sequences they had upon both these States." 
 
32 Dean Swift and his Writings . 
 
 Real liberty, says Swift, in this pamphlet, depends on 
 the maintenance of a balance of strength between the 
 different powers in the state. In England these powers 
 are the Crown, the aristocracy, and the House of 
 Commons. If one of them acquire an undue preponder- 
 ance, liberty is at an end. For a tyranny of the many 
 is just as baneful as the tyranny of one. He criticises 
 the pertinacious way in which the English Commons 
 have sought to usurp functions which by usage and 
 natural justice belong to the other two estates; and, 
 referring to the attack on the Whig leaders, he shows 
 what injustice may be done by the constant cry for 
 impeachment. To illustrate his contention he gives 
 a long and detailed account of several cases where 
 the Athenian democracy made accusations against promi- 
 nent statesmen. Under the latter the names of the 
 Whig leaders are thinly veiled. Thus Aristides is 
 meant for Somers, Themistocles for Admiral Russell, 
 Pericles for Halifax, and Phocion for the Earl of 
 Portland. Similar illustrations are given from Roman 
 history. If, then. Swift concludes, these ancient assem- 
 blies were always in the wrong, is it not possible that the 
 English Commons may be in the wrong to-day ? More- 
 over, he goes on to prove, such conduct has always 
 defeated its own ends. The Athenian democracy, by 
 frightening able men from the public service, was at 
 length compelled to yield without a struggle to Alexander 
 of Macedon. The triumph of the plebs in Rome, by pro- 
 ducing anarchy, paved the way for the establishment 
 of the empire. Let England take warning lest, through 
 following a similar course, she incur a similar doom. 
 
 The pamphlet, whose classical parallels smell of the 
 lamp, shows great knowledge of history, and is a valuable 
 contribution to political science. But it has no brilliancy 
 of style. 
 
An Ally of the Whigs. n 
 
 It is interesting, however, to note in it a statement 
 of Swift's dislike to that great popular fetish, party 
 government. The utter destruction of all individuality 
 which this system entails naturally rendered it odious 
 to his commanding intellect. He says : " I would be 
 glad if any partisan would help me to a tolerable reason, 
 that, because Bibulus, the party man, is persuaded that 
 Clodius and Curio do really propose the good of their 
 country as their chief end, therefore Bibulus shall be 
 wholly guided and governed by them in the means and 
 measures towards it. Is it enough for Bibulus and the 
 rest of the herd to say, without further examining, I am 
 of the side with Clodius, or I vote with Curio? Are these 
 proper methods to form and make up what they think fit 
 to call the united wisdom of the nation? Is it not 
 possible that upon some occasion Clodius may be bpld 
 and insolent, borne away by his passion, malicious and 
 revengeful ? That Curio may be corrupt, and expose to 
 sale his tongue or his pen ? " The pamphlet shows, 
 moreover, that Swift, like most statesmen, did not believe 
 in the maxim. Vox populi, vox Dd. Unlike most statesmen, 
 however, he was not afraid to say so. He refers in terms 
 of real regret to a recent act against bribery at parlia- 
 mentary elections. According to him, its only result 
 would be to bring an equally unprincipled and far more 
 dangerous type of men into public life. " Whoever 
 practices upon the weakness and vanity of the people is 
 guilty of an immoral action, as much as if he did it upon 
 their avarice ... as long as men engage in the public 
 service upon private ends it will be safer to trust our 
 property and constitution in the hands of such who have 
 paid for their election, than of those who have obtained it 
 by servile flatteries of the people." 
 
 The pamphlet was extensively read and made a very 
 
 4 
 
34 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 favourable impression. On September i6th, moreover, tlie 
 recognition of the elder Pretender as King of England by- 
 Louis XIV., created a tremendous reaction in favour of 
 King William. The voice of detraction was hushed. 
 The Whig leaders became heroes instead of criminals ; and 
 a new parliament, meeting on December 31, 1701, over- 
 whelmed William with loyal protestations. His unex- 
 pected death on March 8, 1702, unfortunately prevented 
 him from enjoying the benefits of this great political 
 change. 
 
 Swift, who had gone to Ireland in September, 1701, 
 returned to England in April, 1702. He revealed the 
 authorship of his pamphlet, and was at once taken into 
 high favour by the Whig leaders. " Lords Somers and 
 Halifax," he remarks with evident pride, " desii-ed my 
 acquaintance, with great marks of esteem and professions 
 of kindness — not to mention the Earl of Sunderland, who 
 had been my old acquaintance. They lamented that they 
 were not able to serve me since the death of the king, 
 and were very liberal in promising me the greatest prefer- 
 ments I could hope for, if ever it came in their power. I 
 soon grew domestic with Lord Halifax, and was as often 
 with Lord Somers as the formality of his nature (the only 
 unconversable fault he had) made it agreeable to me." ^ 
 The above passage, which forms part of an indirect 
 apology for his future conduct, is very significant. It is 
 evident from the last two sentences that the Whigs, 
 though glad of Swift's support, were more lavish in pro- 
 mises than in rewards, and that he was not altogether 
 pleased with Lord Somers' personal bearing towards him. 
 A later passage from this same work shows a distinct 
 ground of difference between himself and the Whigs. 
 
 ' See, for this, Swift's tract entitled, "Memoirs relating to the 
 change in Queen Anne's Ministry in 1710." 
 
An Ally of the Whigs. 35 
 
 Having entered the Church, Swift was determined to the 
 utmost of his abilities to maintain its power and indepen- 
 dence. In this feeling of his the Whig leaders declined 
 to share. 
 
 This want of perfect sympathy between Swift and the 
 Whigs probably accounts for his small exertions on their 
 behalf during the next few years. The ministry at Anne's 
 accession started with a strong Tory infusion. But as the 
 war against France continued, the Whigs, deriving great 
 credit from Marlborough's victories, began to gather 
 strength. No one at this time could hold a civil or muni- 
 cipal office without having taken the sacrament according 
 to the uses of the Church of England. It became cus- 
 tomary for many Dissenters to qualify themselves for these 
 posts by taking the sacrament as the law directed once a 
 year, after which they continued attendance at their own 
 chapels. The High Church section of the Tory party, 
 headed by Henry St. John, wished to put a stop to this 
 practice, and introduced a bill against " occasional con- 
 formity." The bill passed the Commons twice in 1703 ; 
 but on each occasion, by the influence of the Government, 
 it was stopped in the Lords. There is an amusing 
 account of the public excitement thereat in a letter of 
 Swift to Dr. Tisdall ^ :— 
 
 " I wish you had been here for ten days, during the 
 highest and warmest reign of party and faction that I ever 
 knew or read of, upon the bill against occasional con- 
 formity. ... It was so universal that I observed the dogs 
 in the street much more contumelious and quarrelsome 
 than usual ; and the very night before the bill went up 
 (to the Lords), a committee of Whig and Tory cats had a 
 very warm and loud debate upon the roof of our house. 
 
 ' Dated London, December i6, 1703 
 
36 Dean Swifi and his tVrtlzngs. 
 
 But why should we wonder at that, when the very ladies 
 are split asunder into High Church and Low, and, out 
 of zeal for religion, have hardly time to say their 
 prayers ! " 
 
 Though Swift was on the side of the Whigs at present, 
 his opposition to the bill was very slight ; and as time 
 passed on his allegiance to the Whigs became gradually 
 fainter. 
 
 An important addition had now been made to the society 
 of Laracor. Swift's intimacy with Esther Johnson (Stella) 
 had only become closer on Temple's death. Shortly after 
 that event Stella's mother, Mrs. Johnson, had married 
 Mr. Moser, the late Sir William Temple's steward. 
 Possibly owing to this it became advisable for Stella to 
 seek a new home ; and Swift now suggested that she and 
 Mrs. Cingley, her companion, should settle near him in 
 Ireland. The offer was accepted, and in the summer of 
 1701 the two women came over to Laracor. When Swift 
 was absent in England they lived at the parsonage ; 
 when he was in Ireland they took lodgings in the neigh- 
 bourhood. Swift knew the world, and was careful to avoid 
 giving rise to scandal. For Stella herself the die was 
 cast. Thenceforth, till her death, she remained bound to 
 Swift, The intimacy formed with the child at Moor Park 
 had become part of his life ; and in the dark years that fol- 
 lowed after his political career was ended, Stella was the 
 one bright spot which lightened his lonely path. In the 
 year 1704 he was near losing her. His friend Dr. Tisdali, 
 incumbent of a small Dublin parish, but a Belfast man by 
 birth, seems to have spent much time at Laracor during 
 Swift's absences in England. Introduced by Swift to 
 Stella he soon began to make advances to the dark-eyed 
 English girl. How these advances were received will 
 never be known. From the single letter remaining on the 
 
An Ally of the Whigs. 37 
 
 subject it would seem that Tisdall accused Swift of 
 prejudicing Stella against him. This Swift categorically 
 denied. He acknowledged, regarding Stella, that " if my 
 fortunes and humour served me to think of that state 
 (marriage), I should certainly, among all persons on earth, 
 make your choice; because I never saw that person whose 
 conversation I entirely valued but hers." But he declared 
 that no feelings of his own would allow him to try and 
 influence Stella's decision. Tisdall's suit was not suc- 
 cessful. More than this our authorities do not tell us. 
 Stella was content to let her destiny rest in Swift's 
 hands. 
 
 In the spring of 1704 Swift published anonymously his 
 "Tale of a Tub." ' It had been written as early as 1697. 
 To it was appended the " Battle of the Books," the manu- 
 script of which had up till now been only handed about 
 among Temple's friends. The " Tale of a Tub " was dedi- 
 cated "to the worthiest" — AetuY dignissimo. This is in- 
 terpreted, in the so-called Bookseller's-Dedication, as 
 equivalent to Lord Somers. For every one of whom the 
 bookseller had" made inquiry, though convinced that he 
 himself was the worthiest, had always mentioned Somers 
 second ; and it was a maxim " that those to whom every- 
 body allows the second place, have an undoubted title to 
 the first ! " 
 
 The best-known part of this extraordinary work consists 
 of a satirical account, in allegorical form, of the origin, 
 development, and divisions of the Christian Church. Once 
 upon a time. Swift begins, there was a man who had three 
 
 ' The phrase " Tale of a Tub " is derived from the sailor's habit 
 of throwing a tub overboard so as to distract the attention from their 
 ship cf an infuriated whale. Thus the object of Swift's boo]< is to 
 occupy those would-be wits and crazy fanatics whose folly was ruining 
 learning, njorals, and religion. 
 
38 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 sons by one wife, and all at a birth ; nor could it ever be 
 told which was the eldest. The father, dying early, be- 
 queaths to each of them a wonderful new coat (the Christian 
 religion). With good wearing the coats will last fresh and 
 sound for ever. Full instructions, moreover, concerning 
 the management of the coats will be found in the old man's 
 will (the Bible). For the first seven years after their 
 father's death (the first seven centuries of Christianity), 
 the brothers carefully observe his directions, and keep the 
 coats in good order. But, being now arrived at man's 
 estate, they come up to town to show their qualifications. 
 They have not been settled here long before they fall in 
 love with three ladies : the Duchesse d'Argent, Madame de 
 •Grands Titres, and the Comtesse d'Orgueil (covetousness, 
 ambition, and pride). These ladies are of high rank and 
 great estate, and will not even look at the three brothers 
 while the latter continue to wear their plain, formal coats. 
 After a time, moreover, a fashion arises in town of wear- 
 ing great shoulder-knots. The brothers, resisting the 
 novelty, are now laughed at wherever they go. But there 
 seems no hope for them, since their father's will forbids 
 them to make any change in the coats by recutting, addi- 
 tion, or diminution. At length, one of the brothers, who 
 was reputed a much better scholar than the other two, 
 discovers a way out of the difficulty. Their father's 
 will, says he, like all legal documents, is very obscure. 
 Perhaps, therefore, on careful examination of its language, 
 they may actually find some authority empowering them 
 -to assume the shoulder-knots. The will is accordingly 
 brought out. To the delight of his two other brothers, the 
 scholar discovers, scattered about on different pages, the 
 letters S. H. 0. U. L. D. E. R. It is true these letters form 
 part of ordinary words ; this, however, the scholar main- 
 tains, is of no consequence. They cannot find the letter 
 
An Ally of the Whigs. 39 
 
 " K " ; but this the scholar points out is the same as" C," 
 which may be found on every page. The few letters still 
 required are soon made up ; the brothers gladly sew 
 shoulder-knots on to their coats, and are at once received 
 into polite society. Fashions in clothes change rapidly, 
 but the wise brother always discovers some excuse for 
 their adoption. When gold lace comes into vogue : 
 " Brothers," says he, "if you remember, we heard a fellow 
 say, when we were boys, that he heard my father's man say 
 that he heard my father say that he would advise his 
 sons to get gold lace on their coats as soon as ever they 
 could procure money to buy it." The other two brothers 
 remember this perfectly well. " And so without more 
 ado they got the largest gold lace in the parish, and walked 
 about as fine as lords." Next comes a rage for flame- 
 coloured satin for linings. The scholar produces a slip of 
 paper, "written by a dog-keeper of my grandfather's," 
 which talks, as luck would have it, of flame-coloured 
 satin. He tacks it on to the will as a codicil. No codicil 
 is valid unless annexed to a will. No will, therefore, says 
 this sage logician, can be valid unless it has a codicil 
 annexed to it ! Soon silver fringes come into fashion. 
 The wearing of these, alas ! is on examination found to be 
 forbidden in the will under the most terrific penalties. But 
 this obstacle is soon surmounted by the learned one. He 
 discovers that " the same word which in the will is called 
 fringe does also signify a broomstick ; and doubtless ought 
 to have the same interpretation in this paragraph." In 
 fact, every new fashion, from embroidery to silver tags, is 
 found, after examination of the text, to be allowed by the 
 old man's will. At last the will itself is put aside and 
 locked up. New fashions are simply adopted without 
 hesitation as soon as they come up ; and in the end the 
 brothers' plain coats become so ornamented, embroidered, 
 
40 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 and bedizened, that their father would never have recog- 
 nised them. I 
 
 The learned brother obtains great fame owing to his 
 clever interpretation of the will. A certain lord (Constan- 
 tine the Great), therefore takes him into his family as 
 tutor. But when the lord dies the tutor forges a deed of 
 conveyance of the house and lands to himself, turns out 
 the young squires, and receives his brothers in their stead 
 (establishment of the temporal power). 
 
 With the acquisition of this estate the successful 
 schemer, who has taken the name of Peter and the style 
 of eldest brother, enters upon a great career. He assumes 
 numerous titles, invents quack medicines, runs puppet 
 shows, and gulls people into believing the most monstrous 
 fables. Strangest of all, he sells pardons to condemned 
 criminals in Newgate ; who, poor wretches, since the king 
 alone can pardon them, lose their lives and their money 
 too. At last Peter's brothers grow ashamed of him. 
 This feeling is changed into anger when, in imitation of 
 his own example, he makes them turn their wives into the 
 street, locks the cellar door and puts the key in his pocket 
 (the communion in one kind), and curses them most terribly 
 if they try and argue with him. 
 
 The two younger brothers at last determine to run away ; 
 " but first," says the tale, " they humbly desired a copy of 
 their father's will, which had now lain neglected time out of 
 mind. Instead of granting this request Peter called them 
 rogues, traitors, and all the rest of the vile names he could 
 muster up. However, while he was abroad one day upon 
 his projects, the two youngsters watched their opportunity, 
 
 " The above passage refers to the additions gradually engrafted on 
 Bibhcal Christianity ; thus flame-coloured satin is intended for the 
 doctrine of purgatory. The Catholic will regard these changes as 
 authorised developments ; the Protestant as corruptions. 
 
An Ally of the Whigs. 41 
 
 made a shift to come at the will, and took a copy of it, by 
 which they saw how grossly they had been abused ; their 
 father having left them equal heirs, and strictly commanded 
 that whatever they got should lie in common between 
 them." Encouraged by this they break open the cellar 
 door, comfort themselves with a glass of wine, and send 
 for their wives. " While all this was in agitation," the 
 tale goes on, "there entets a solicitor from Newgate 
 desiring Lord Peter would please procure a pardon for a 
 thief that was to be hanged to-morrow. But the two 
 brothers told him he was a coxcomb to seek pardon from 
 a fellow who deserved to be hanged much better than his 
 cHent and discovered all the method of that imposture, 
 advising the solicitor to put his friend upon obtaining a 
 pardon from the king. In the midst of all this clutter and 
 revolution, in comes Peter with a file of dragoons at his 
 heels, and gathering from all hands what was in the wind, 
 he and his gang, after several millions of scurrilities and 
 curses, by main force very fairly kicked them both out of 
 doors, and would never let them come under his roof from 
 that day to this." ' 
 
 The first step of the two ejected brothers is to take the 
 names of Martin and Jack. They then set to work to 
 bring back their coats into strict accordance with the 
 regulations of their father's will. But here a difference 
 arises between them. Martin pulls off the lace and 
 fringes ; but he notices that much of the embroidery is 
 so carefully sewn in, that to cut it all out will ruin the 
 coat. He therefore resolves to let some of it remain. 
 Brother Jack, who is very hot-tempered, tears away at 
 his coat with such fury that the garment is rent from 
 
 ' The reference is to the outbreak of the Reformation in Germany ; 
 "Martin" and "Jack" are derived from Martin Luther and John 
 C ilvin. 
 
42 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 top to toe, whole pieces of the cloth are in many cases 
 torn away, while in certain places fag ends of Peter's old 
 livery still hang on unnoticed. Martin remonstrates, but 
 Jack refuses to listen. He accuses Martin of still hanker- 
 ing after Peter's gew-gaws, renounces his society, and 
 goes his way alone (separation of the Puritans from the 
 Anglican Church). The rest of the allegory which is 
 a little tedious, deals mainly with the history of religion 
 in England after the Reformation. Swift's hatred of the 
 Dissenters is markedly displayed. He dilates on their 
 affect'ed differences from other men ; on their habit of 
 cant ; on their dislike to Church music ; and on their 
 defacement, during the Commonwealth, of the statues and 
 paintings in English churches. 
 
 " In winter he (Jack) went always loose and un- 
 buttoned and clad as thin as possible to let in the 
 ambient heat, and in summer lapped himself close and 
 thick to keep it out. 
 
 " He was troubled with a disease reverse to that called 
 the stinging of the tarantula, and would run dog-mad at 
 the noise of music, especially a bagpipe. 
 
 " He was a person that feared no colours, but mortally 
 hated all, and upon that account bore a cruel aversion 
 against all painters, insomuch that, in his paroxysms, as 
 he walked the streets, he would have his pockets laden 
 with stones to pelt at the signs." 
 
 The above amusing allegory only occupies a few 
 sections of the work styled "A Tale of a Tub." In the 
 remainder, Swift hurls the shafts of his ridicule at the 
 folly of strugglers for fame, at the pretensions of coffee- 
 house wits, and at the shallowness of Grub Street critics. 
 No foible of human nature is left untouched. The work 
 lacks the tremendous power of Swift's later writings, 
 though in the scope and variety of its satire it excels 
 
An Ally of the Whigs. 43 
 
 them. The mass of ideas, moreover, to which the 
 author seeks to give expression, notably in the so-called 
 digressions, has produced great obscurity of style; and 
 to reach the vein of meaning his reader has to dig 
 through a close-set stratum of subtle irony and involved 
 allusion. 
 
 The most remarkable passage is that which treats 
 of a philosophy of clothes. It has special interest as 
 containing the germ of an idea developed by Carlyle in 
 his " Sartor Resartus." Swift describes for us a sect 
 whose tenets obtained at the time when Peter, Martin, 
 and Jack first came to town. " They worshipped a sort 
 of idol, who, as their doctrine deliv^ed, did daily create 
 men by a kind of manufactory operation. This idol they 
 placed in the highest part of the house, on an altar 
 .erected about three foot ; he was shown in the posture of 
 a Persian emperor, sitting on a superficies, with his legs 
 interwoven under him. This god had a goose for his 
 ensign. . . . His worshippers ' held the universe to be a 
 large suit of clothes which invests everything : that the 
 earth is invested by the air ; the air is invested by the 
 stars ; and the stars are invested by the primiim mobile. 
 Look on this globe of earth and you will find it to be a 
 very complete and fashionable dress. What is that which 
 some call land but a fine coat faced with green ? or the 
 sea but a waistcoat of water-tabby ? Proceed to the 
 particular work of the creation, you will perceive how 
 curious journeyman nature has been to trim up the 
 vegetable beaux ; observe how sparkish a periwig adorns 
 the head of a beech, and what a fine doublet of white 
 satin is worn by the birch. To conclude from all, what 
 is man himself but a micro-coat, or rather a complete 
 suit of clothes with all its trimmings ? ' Once grant this 
 theory, and who can deny that the world is peopled 
 
44 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 with suits of clothes and that differences in clothes are 
 differences in fact ? ' If one of them be trimmed up with 
 a great gold chain, and a red gown, and a white rod, or a 
 great horse, it is called a lord mayor ; if certain ermines 
 and furs be placed in a certain position, we style them a 
 judge ; and so an apt conjunction of lawn and black satin 
 we entitle a bishop. ' " 
 
 No notice of the " Tale of a Tub " would be complete 
 without a reference to the most significant section of all — • 
 the Dissertation on Madness. The subject was one which 
 had a terrible fascination for Swift, and in this passage it 
 is hard to say whether his spirit is one of satire or tears. 
 
 Madness, says the " Tale," is merely a disturbance or 
 transposition of the brain by certain vapours. Those 
 whose brains are in the ordinary state are content to live 
 out their lives in complacent dulness. It needs a dis- 
 turbance in the brain to raise a man above his fellows. 
 Hence all great men, from conquerors to philosophers, 
 have been mad. Owing to some accident their secret 
 has not been discovered, and they have had disciples 
 instead of keepers. 
 
 This theory, it is true, involves the consequence that a 
 great man is one who begins by deluding himself and ends 
 by deluding others. But, Swift maintains, credulity is 
 the greatest of all blessings. Things that have place in 
 the imagination exist, to all intents and purposes, as 
 palpably as those that are seated in the memory ; and, 
 since imagination can suggest far more magnificent and 
 wonderful things than real life can ever give, the fool is 
 not he who imposes on men, but he who undeceives them. 
 The latter, in fact, acts directly contrary to nature ; one of 
 whose eternal laws it is to put her best furniture forward. 
 Swift illustrates this paradox as follows : " In most 
 corporeal beings which have fallen under my cognisance, 
 
Aii Ally of the Whigs. 45 
 
 the outside has been infinitely preferable to the in : 
 whereof I have been farther convinced by some late 
 experiments. Last week I saw a woman flayed, and 
 you will hardly believe how much it altered her person 
 for the worse. Yesterday I ordered the carcass of a beau 
 to be stripped in my presence, when we were all amazed 
 to find so many unsuspected faults under one suit of 
 clothes. Then I laid open his brain, his heart, and his 
 spleen, but I plainly perceived at every operation that the 
 farther we proceeded we found the defects increase upon 
 us in number and bulk ; from all which, I justly formed 
 the conclusion to myself that whatever philosopher or 
 projector can find out an art to solder and patch up the 
 flaws and imperfections of nature will deserve much better 
 of mankind and teach us a more useful science, than that 
 so much in present esteem, of widening and exposing 
 them, like him who held anatomy to be the ultimate end 
 of physic." Having thus proved his point to demonstra- 
 tion. Swift concludes with minute instructions to show 
 how the lunatics in Bedlam may be turned into useful 
 servants of the commonwealth. The dangerous madman 
 must be packed off to the war in Flanders ; the babbler to 
 Westminster Hall; while the one who gabbles out a 
 string of unmeaning compliments to all his visitors should 
 be sent to St. James's Palace, where he will soon outshine 
 the whole court in the art of flattery. 
 
 On the object and effects of the '* Tale of a Tub " a 
 volume might be written. Sw^ift declared that his inten- 
 tion was to attack not religion and learning but their 
 abuses. It must, however, be said that this statement 
 finds slight support from a cursory reading of the work 
 itself. That extraordinary indifference to human sus- 
 ceptibilities which occasionally blunts the edge of Swift's 
 satire is nowhere so marked as in the " Tale of a Tub." 
 
46 Dean Swift and his Writings, 
 
 As might have been expected it was the religious allegory 
 -which, though really the less important part of the work, 
 attracted popular attention. The irreverence with which 
 the author treated all sacred things enabled the fanatics 
 against whom it was specially levelled to brand him as a 
 sceptic and blasphemer. The grossness of those passages 
 in which Swift, as so often happens in his work, has 
 followed the example of Rabelais without the excuse of 
 Rabelais, disgusted a public which grinned at Wycherly 
 and chuckled over Ward. The " Tale of a Tub " lost 
 Swift a bishopric. 
 
 In cultured circles, to whom its real merits were obvious, 
 the " Tale " had a most favourable reception. There is no 
 exact evidence to show that Swift ever revealed the secret 
 of his authorship. It must, however, have needed some- 
 thing besides a serious political pamphlet and a few light 
 poems to win him that great reputation which he now 
 began to enjoy among the London wits, and there is 
 strong presumption in the surmise that Addison, when he 
 gave Swift a copy of his recently published " Travels in 
 Italy," inscribed " to the greatest genius of his age," had 
 the " Tale of a Tub " in his mind.': 
 
 The years 1704 to 1707 were spent by Swift partly in 
 Ireland, partly in London. The Whig party growing 
 stronger every year had become more fixed in its opposi- 
 tion to an exclusive Church policy. The bill against 
 occasional conformity disappeared. In 1707, Lord 
 Pembroke was sent as lord lieutenant to Dublin with 
 direct instructions to bring forward a bill in the Irish 
 Parliament for the relief of Protestant Dissenters from 
 their most pressing disabilities. Pembroke's mission 
 failed, but Swift's faith in the Whigs was much shaken 
 
 ' See Forster's " Life of Swift," p. 160. 
 
An Ally of the Whigs. 47 
 
 by this effort at toleration. In the November of 1707, 
 Swift himself came to England at the request of the Irish 
 bishops, to try and obtain from Queen Anne a renuncia- 
 tion of the first-fruits due frofti the Irish Church. A 
 refusal to entertain his demand, especially if accompanied 
 by a personal slight to himself, would send him over to 
 the Tory ranks. 
 
CHAPTER III. 
 
 A TORY CONVERT. 
 
 Swift's mission on behalf of the Irish Church — He is disappointed of 
 the bishopric of Waterford — Writes " Project for the Advance- 
 ment of Religion" — His interview with Godolphin — Whigs favour- 
 able to the Dissenters — Growing alienation of Swift from the 
 Whig leaders — His private life at this time — Writes "Sentiments 
 of a Church of England Man " — His " Argument to Prove the 
 Inconveniences of Abolishing Christianity" — Summary and ex- 
 planation of Swift's religious views — His dislike of the Dissenters 
 — Final triumph of the Whigs — They refuse Swift any assistance 
 — His departure for Ireland — Stay at Laracor — Incidents thereof 
 — He returns to England on a second mission — Change in the 
 political situation there— Accession of the Tories — The Journal 
 to Stella— Swift's account of his own conduct — Policy of Harley 
 — He wins Swift over to the Tory cause — Swift's motives. 
 
 Swift had come over to England in the same vessel as 
 
 the Irish viceroy, Lord Pembroke, with whom he had 
 
 been very intimate at Dublin Castle. After a visit to his 
 
 mother at Leicester he proceeded to London, where he 
 
 arrived, it would seem, towards the end of December, 
 
 1707. He found the Whig party stronger than ever. 
 
 The ministry still contained a small Tory leaven ; but 
 
 the Tory opposition to the Spanish succession war, on 
 
 the steady prosecution of which the Whigs had staked 
 
 their reputation, rendered the influence of the former 
 
 party very weak. Before Swift could enter fully on the 
 
 48 
 
A Tory Convert. 49 
 
 question of the Irish first-fruits ^ he soon had evidence 
 that, in spite of his relations with Lord Somers, the Whigs 
 laid little value on his support. In January, 1708, the 
 bishopric of Waterford became vacant. Swift's claims 
 to the succession were suggested, but the Government 
 preferred to promote Dr. Milles. Swift's fury at what he 
 considered a personal slight is hardly concealed in a letter 
 written by him on this occasion to his friend. Archdeacon 
 Walls. "... I once had a glimpse," he sa3's, " that 
 things would have gone otherwise. But now I must 
 retire to my morals, and pretend to be wholly without 
 ambition, and to resign with patience. You know by this 
 time who is the happy man ; a very worthy person, and I 
 doubt not but the whole kingdom will be pleased with the 
 choice. He will prove an ornament to the order, and a 
 public blessing to the Church and nation. And after this, 
 if you will not allow me to be a good courtier, I will 
 pretend to it no more. But let us talk no further on this 
 subject. I am stomach-sick of it already." 
 
 Why Swift's claims were disregarded at this time is 
 not very clear. Considerable discord, however, existed 
 between him and the Whigs on the question of Church 
 policy. It is not impossible, moreover, that the open 
 secret of his authorship of the " Tale of a Tub " still 
 stood against him. There is no formal evidence on the 
 point ; but may not his " Project for the Advancement of 
 Religion and the Reformation of Manners," written at this 
 
 ' The value of the twentieth parts, first-fruits and crown-rents, 
 payable to the Crown from the Irish Church was ;£3,ooo a year. They 
 were a heavy burden and their collection was onerous and expensive. 
 A remission of these dues had been urgently demanded by the Irish 
 Convocation after Anne's resignation of the English first-fruits in 
 1704. See the memorial drawn up by Swift on October 7, 17 10, 
 and printed in his correspondence. 
 
 5 
 
50 Dean Swift and his Wriiings. 
 
 time, and dedicated to Lady Berkeley, have been intended 
 to show his real fitness for the episcopal office ? It is 
 without exception the dullest of his works, and may 
 be compared with Fielding's " Charge to the Grand Jury 
 of Westminster " to show how tedious a clever man can 
 be, when forced to -deal in an uncongenial style with an 
 uncongenial subject. So unlike Swift's ordinary vein is it, 
 that critics have endeavoured to find a hidden meaning in 
 the work. From its recommendations, which repeat the 
 sayings of all moralists in all ages, no extracts need be 
 given. The pamphlet, however, was well received, and 
 Loi'd Berkeley pressed Swift to see that the queen had a 
 copy thereof. She surely could not fail to form a high 
 opinion of so sound and pious a writer ! 
 
 In the February of 1708, Robert Harley-, the Tory 
 secretary of state, was dismissed from office. Henry 
 St. John, Sir Simon Harcourt, and Sir Thomas Mansell, 
 the remaining Tories in the ministry, resigned, and that 
 body was now wholly Whig. 
 
 Swift now hoped that, even though his personal claims 
 had been disregarded, the Government would at any rate 
 fall in with his other demand. But this was not the case. 
 The Whigs, relying for support on the Dissenters, were 
 naturally in favour of conciliating them. When Swift, 
 therefore, after much pressing, at length obtained an 
 interview with the Lord Treasurer Godolphin, he was 
 given to understand that the ministry saw no objection to 
 advising the queen to remit the first-fruits of the Irish 
 Church ; but in return for this favour, the Irish bishops 
 must make " due acknowledgments," i.e., allow a repeal 
 of the Sacramental Test against Irish Dissenters. 
 
 Swift, who refused to see that politicians give nothing 
 for nothing, was bitterly disappointed. Having resolved 
 to give no guarantee that the Irish bishops would 
 
A Tory Convert. 51 
 
 taake the concession required, it must Have' already 
 been obvious to Swift that his mission could only 
 end in failure. He had dreamed of statesmanship and 
 success ; and he found himself in the worst of all positions, 
 that of a wearisome and neglected suitor. He had looked 
 forwai'd to high social and political alliances ; and all he 
 obtained were pompous politeness from Somers, grinning 
 complaisances from Halifax, and promises never intended 
 to be kept from the Earl of Pembroke. A letter of Swift's 
 to the Irish primate. Dr. Marsh, on August 28, 1708, 
 shows his disgust with the Whig leaders. 
 
 Lord Pembroke's secretary, Dodington is described as 
 " a person who would not give threepence to save all the 
 Established clergy in both kingdoms from the gallows." 
 As to the Whigs in general he says, ". . . In the small 
 conversation I have had among great men, there is one 
 maxim I have found them constantly to observe, which 
 is, that in any business before them, if you inquire how it 
 proceeds, they only consider what is proper to answer, 
 without one single thought whether it be agreeable to 
 fact or no. For instance, here is lord treasurer assures 
 me that what you ask is a trifle ; that the queen would 
 easily consent to it, and he would do so too ; but then he 
 adds some general conditions, as I told you before. Then 
 comes lord lieutenant ; assures me that the other has 
 nothing at all to do with it, and that it is not to come 
 before him, but that he has made some progress in it. . . . 
 The progress he means must be something entirely 
 between the queen and himself, for the two chief ministers 
 assure me they never heard of the matter from him." 
 
 It is true that in the companionship of the London wits 
 Swift, during this visit, found some consolation for his 
 many disappointments. He gave Steele hints for his 
 latter I passed long evenings in conversation with 
 
52 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 Addison ; sat for his portrait to the painter Jervas ; and 
 made cruel sport of astrologer Partridge. 
 
 John Partridge, who seems to have combined the trades 
 of shoemaker and quack-doctor, was wont to publish an 
 annual almanac, containing prophecies for the ensuing year. 
 The latter readily lent itself to parody. In the beginning 
 of 1708, therefore, Swift published, under the name of 
 Isaac Bickerstaff, a portentous list of forthcoming events. 
 Most almanacs of this kind spoke only in general terms, 
 Bickerstaff, more boldly, dealt with actual names and 
 fixed dates. Thus the Cardinal de Noailles was to die on 
 April 4th ; Louis XIV. on July 29th ; the Pope on 
 September nth. But, first of all — a mere trifle, only 
 mentioned to show how blind professional astrologers 
 were in their own concerns — Partridge, the almanac maker 
 was to die on " March 29th next, about eleven at night, 
 of a raging fever," for which reason he had better settle 
 his affairs as soon as possible. In due course of time 
 there appeared a solemn account of Partridge's illness and 
 death on the pre-appointed day. Written by Swift him- 
 self, it described Partridge's death-bed repentance with 
 great minuteness. The sad event, however, took place 
 four hours later than foretold, by which it would seem 
 that. Mr. Bickerstaff was slightly mistaken in his 
 calculations. 
 
 In answer to this, Swift's friends published a burlesque 
 protest supposed to come from Partridge, saying that he 
 was still alive and had suffered great annoyance from the 
 story of his death. The sexton had tolled the bell for 
 him ; the undertaker had come to measure him for his 
 coffin ; and when he appeared in the street his friends 
 swore he was a ghost. The whole affair was con-, 
 ducted with such an air of gravity that at length the 
 real Partridge himself became alarmed ; and in his 
 
A Tory Convert . 53 
 
 almanac for the next year, 1709, he published a solemn 
 statement to the effect that he, John Partridge, shoe- 
 maker, had not died on March 29th last. Swift's re- 
 joinder is the cleverest piece of fooling in the English 
 language. 
 
 Writing again under the name of Bickerstaff, he 
 remonstrated with Partridge for the invectives he had 
 lavished on his brother prophet. " To call a man a fool 
 and villain, an impudent fellow, only for differing from 
 him in a point purely speculative, is, in my humble 
 opinion, a very improper style for a person of his educa- 
 tion. ... If men of public spirit must be superciliously 
 treated for their ingenious attempts, how will true, useful 
 knowledge be ever advanced?" Bickerstaff objected to 
 self-praise, but in defence he felt bound to call attention 
 to a few testimonials sent him from foreign professors. 
 " The most learned Leibnitz thus addresses me in his 
 third letter : ' Illustrissimo Bickerstaffio astrologise in- 
 stauratori,' &c. M. Le Clerc, quoting my predictions in 
 a treatise he published last year, is pleased to say, ' Ita 
 nuperrime Bickerstaffius, magnum illud Anglise sidus.' 
 Another great professor, writing of me, has these words : 
 ' Bickerstaffius, nobilis Anglus, astrologorum hujusce 
 sasculi facile princeps.' " 
 
 It is true a certain Frenchman had written to point out 
 an error of Mr. Bickerstaff's relating to the Cardinal de 
 Noailles. But was a Frenchman, a papist and an enemy, 
 to be believed against an English Protestant, who was 
 true to the present Government ? 
 
 With this preliminary justification, Bickerstaff now 
 turned to Partridge's denial of the fact that he, Partridge, 
 had died on the appointed day. 
 
 Firstly, about a thousand gentlemen have bought 
 Partridge's almanac for the ensuing year, and at every 
 
54 Dean Swift and his Writings, 
 
 line they cried out " they were sure no man alive ever 
 vix'ii such damned stuff as this." Wherefore Mr. Partridge 
 is bound either to disown his almanac or to allow himself 
 to be no man alive ! 
 
 Secondly, " death is defined by all philosophers a 
 separation of the soul and body. Now it is certain that 
 the poor woman, who has best reason to know {ix., Mrs. 
 Partridge), has gone about for some time to every ally in 
 the neighbourhood, and sworn to the gossips that her 
 husband had neither life nor soul in him. Therefore, if 
 an uninformed carcass walks still about, and is pleased to 
 call itself Partridge, Mr. Bickerstaff does not think himself 
 any way answerable for that. . . ." 
 
 Thirdly, " Mr. Partridge pretends to tell fortunes and 
 recover stolen goods, which all the parish says he must 
 do by conversing with the devil and other evil spirits, and 
 no man will ever allow he could converse personally with 
 either till after he was dead." 
 
 Fourthly, " Partridge says in the preface to his new 
 almanac that ' he is not only now alive, but was also 
 alive upon that very 29th of March which I foretold he 
 should die on ' ; by this he declares his opinion that a 
 man may be alive now who was not alive a twelve- 
 month ago. And, indeed, there lies the sophistry of his 
 argument. He dares not assert he was alive ever since 
 that 2gth of March, but that he ' is now alive and was so 
 on that day.' " 
 
 Fifthly, says Bickerstaff, " I will appeal to Mr. 
 Partridge himself whether it be probable I could have 
 been so indiscreet to begin my predictions with the only 
 falsehood that ever was pretended to be in them ; and this 
 in an affair at home, where I had so many opportunities 
 to be exact, and must have given such advantages against 
 me to a person of Mr. Partridge's wit and learning, who, 
 
A Tory Convert. 55 
 
 if he could possibly have raised one single objection more 
 against the truth of my prophecies, would hardly have 
 spared me." 
 
 Little satisfaction could be found in paying a succession 
 of unwelcome visits to busy ministers, so Swift had 
 plenty of time to employ in literature. In March, 1708, 
 he put forth his " Sentiments of a Church of England 
 Man on Religion and Government." He wrote partly 
 in the character of a moderator between the extremes 
 of Whig and Tory ; partly to defend the Church of Eng- 
 land against the charges of absolutism and intolerance 
 brought against it by the more advanced Whigs. 
 
 As in his " Dissensions in Athens and Rome," Swift 
 speaks strongly against the folly of a blind adherence 
 to party distinctions. "To enter into a party, as into an 
 order of friars, with so resigned an obedience to superiors, 
 is very unsuitable both with the civil and religious 
 liberties we so zealously assert. Thus the understand- 
 ings of a whole senate are often enslaved by three or 
 four leaders on each side, who, instead of intending 
 the public weal, have their hearts wholly set upon ways 
 and means how to get or to keep employments. But 
 to speak more at large, how has this spirit of faction 
 mingled itself with the mass of the people, changed 
 their nature and manners, and the very genius of the 
 nation ; broke all the laws of charity, neighbourhood, 
 alliance, and hospitality ; destroyed all ties of friendship, 
 and divided families against themselves ? And no 
 wonder it should be so, when, in order to find out the 
 character of a person, instead of inquiring whether he 
 be a man of virtue, honour, piety, wit, good sense, or 
 learning, the modern question is only whether he be a 
 Whig or a Tory; under which terms all good and ill 
 qualities are included." 
 
56 Dean Sivifi and his Writings. 
 
 This being the casei a Church of England man is not 
 bound by nature or tradition to any party. He will 
 support that party or section which at any given time 
 seems best capable of promoting the general good of 
 Church and state. There are, however, certain general 
 principles to which a Church of England man is strongly 
 attached. Firstly, he recognises the justice and necessity 
 of the Revolution. The expulsion of James II., it is true, 
 involved a breach of constitutional forms. But there is 
 a power behind the constitution — that of natural justice ; 
 and it is an inherent principle of limited monarchy that 
 the monarch must be punished if he refuse to observe 
 the limitations placed upon him. That certain clergy, in 
 times past, have upheld the doctrine of non-resistance 
 to the Crown cannot be gainsaid. But had they not 
 some excuse in the memory of a frightful civil war, 
 produced by the breach of that doctrine ? Is not, 
 moreover, resistance to the Crown merely a technical 
 term implying resistance to the supreme power of 
 the whole people, as expressed in their legislature ? 
 Secondly, in religious matters, a Church of England 
 man has a firm belief in " God and His providence, to- 
 gether with revealed religion and the divinity of Christ " ; 
 and a "true veneration for the scheme established 
 among us of ecclesiastical government ; and though he 
 will not determine whether episcopacy be of Divine 
 right, he is sure it is most agreeable to primitive in- 
 stitution, fittest of all others for preserving order and 
 pUrity, and, under its present regulations, best calculated 
 for our civil state." 
 
 As to toleration. Swift's remarks are of great interest 
 as throwing light on the general Church feeling of his 
 time. He objects to making changes in fixed ceremonial 
 at the request of Dissenters. This, he says, would only 
 
A Tory Convert. 57 
 
 be of use if accompanied by a guarantee that no new 
 sects would ever arise to trouble the new system. All 
 sects should be tolerated, but offices of emolument 
 under the constitution should be reserved for those who 
 will consent to support that constitution, civil and 
 ecclesiastical. It would be impossible to frame a com- 
 pletely comprehensive test ; and the abolition of all tests 
 would admit to office "Papists, Atheists, Mahometans, 
 Heathens, and Jews." 
 
 The Puritans, it must be remembered, when in power, 
 destroyed the old government and religion, and put 
 their administrators to death. Can a Church of England 
 man be blamed for refusing to give them a second chance 
 of doing so ? 
 
 Swift comments severely on the injustice of which the 
 Whigs were guilty in raising " a perpetual clamour 
 against the ambition, the implacable temper, and the 
 covetousness of the priesthood." " Church " and " High 
 Church " are very far from synonymous. Did not the 
 English Church prove its love for public liberty by 
 taking the chief share in the Revolution ? Let the 
 Whigs beware, then, lest by their insensate diatribes they 
 unite the whole Church against them. The concluding 
 passage, in which Swift states the historical argument 
 in favour of an exclusive Church establishment, has the 
 cogency, though not the sonorous roll, of Burke. 
 
 " I leave it among the divines to dilate upon, the 
 danger of schism as a spiritual evil ; but I would consider 
 it only as a temporal one. And I think it clear that any 
 great separation from the Established worship, though 
 to a new one that is more pure and perfect, may be an 
 occasion of endangering the public peace, because it will 
 compose a body always in resei've, prepared to follow 
 any discontented heads, upon the plausible pretext of 
 
58 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 advancing true religion and opposing error, superstition, 
 or idolatry. For this reason Plato lays it down as a 
 maxim that men ought to worship the gods according 
 to the laws of the country ; and he introduces Socrates, 
 in his last discourse, utterly disowning the crime laid 
 to his charge, of teaching new divinities or methods of 
 worship. Thus the poor Hxiguenots of France were 
 engaged in a civil war by the specious pretences of some 
 who, under the guise of religion, sacrificed so many 
 thousand lives to their own ambition and revenge. Thus 
 was the whole body of Puritans in England drawn to be' 
 instruments or abettors of all manner of villainy, by the 
 artifices of a few men, whose designs from the first were 
 levelled to destroy the constitution both of religion and 
 government. And thus, even in Holland itself, where it 
 is pretended that the variety of sects live so amicably 
 together and in such perfect obedience to the magistrate,, 
 it is notorious how a turbulent party, joining with the 
 Arminians, did, in the memory of our fathers, attempt 
 to destroy the liberty of that republic. So that, upon 
 the whole, where sects are tolerated in a state, it is fit 
 they should enjoy a full liberty of conscience, and every 
 other privilege of fixeborn subjects to which no power 
 is annexed. And to preserve their obedience upon all 
 emergencies, a government cannot give them too much 
 ease nor trust them with too little power." 
 
 A work of far more brilliancy and interest is " The 
 Argument to Prove the Inconvenience of Abolishing 
 Christianity," written in the January of lyoS. It is the 
 best instance of Swift's ironical style. The author 
 begins by an apology for his rashness in daring to write 
 in favour of a system, the absurdity and uselessness of 
 which has been so thoroughly exposed. It is not, how- 
 ever, in favour of real Christianity, " such as used in 
 
A Tory Convert. 59 
 
 primitive times (if we may believe the authors of those 
 ages), to have an influence upon men's belief and 
 actions," but solely of the nominal faith- professed at the 
 present day. 
 
 Firstly, it is said that the abolition of Christianity, 
 accompanied as it would be by the cessation of prosecu- 
 tions for blasphemy, would pave the way to that greatest 
 of all blessings, complete liberty of conscience. 
 
 " In answer to all which," says Swift, " with deference 
 to wiser judgments, I think this rather shows the 
 necessity of a nominal religion among us. Great wits 
 love to be free with the highest objects ; arid if they 
 cannot be allowed a God to revile or renounce, they will 
 speak evil of dignities, abuse the government, and reflect 
 upon the mfnistry, which I am sure few will deny to be 
 of much more pernicious consequence, according to the 
 saying of Tiberius, Deorum offensa diis cura. . . , And to 
 urge another argument of a pai^allel nature: if Christianity 
 were once abolished, how could the freethinkers, the 
 strong reasoners, and the men of profound learning, be 
 able to find another subject, so calculated in all points, 
 whereon to display their abilities ? What wonderful 
 productions of wit should we be deprived of from those 
 whose genius, by continual practice, has been wholly 
 turned upon raillery and invectives against religion, and 
 would therefore never be able to shine or distinguish 
 themselves upon any other subject. We are daily com- 
 plaining of the great decline of wit among us, and we 
 would take away the greatest, perhaps the only topic we 
 have left." 
 
 Secondly, Swift notices the telling argument against 
 Christianity in the large amount of money now devoted 
 to the support of the clergy. 
 
 " It is likewise urged that there are, by computation, 
 
6o Dealt Swift and his Writings. 
 
 in this kingdom, above ten thousand parsons whose 
 revenues, added to those of my lords the bishops, would 
 suffice to maintain at least two hundred young gentlemen 
 of wit and pleasure, and freethinking enemies to priest- 
 craft, narrow principles, pedantry, and prejudices, who 
 might be an ornament to the court and town : and then 
 again, so great a number of able [bodied] divines might 
 be a recruit to our fleet and armies. This, indeed, 
 appears to be a consideration of some weight; but then, 
 on the other side, several things deserve to be considered 
 likewise : as first, whether it may not be thought 
 necessary that in certain tracts of country, like what we 
 call parishes, there shall be one man at least of abilities 
 to read and write. Then it seems a wrong computation 
 that the revenues of the Church throughout this island 
 would be large enough to maintain two hundred young 
 gentlemen, or even half that number, after the present 
 rtfined way of living ; that is, to allow each of them such 
 a rent, as in the modern form of speech, would make 
 them easy. But still there is in this project a greater 
 mischief behind ; and we ought to beware of the woman's 
 folly who killed the hen that every morning laid her a 
 golden ^gg. For, pray, what would become of the race 
 of men in the next age if we had nothing to trust to 
 beside the scrofulous, consumptive productions furnished 
 by our men of wit and pleasure, when, having squandered 
 away their vigour, health, and estates, they are forced, 
 by some disagreeable marriage, to piece up their broken 
 fortunes and entail rottenness and politeness on their 
 posterity ? Now, here are ten thousand parsons reduced, 
 by the wise regulations of Henry VIII., to the necessity 
 of a low diet and moderate exercise, who are the only 
 great restorers of our breed,. without which the nation 
 would in an age or two become one great hospital." 
 
A Tory Convert. 6i 
 
 Thirdly, there is the plea tha't great advantage would 
 be gained by ceasing to waste one day out of every seven 
 in prayer, and by employing religious edifices for purposes 
 of practical utility. 
 
 " I hope," Swift answers, " I shall be forgiven a hard 
 word, if I call this a perfect cavil. I readily own there 
 has been an old custom, time out of mind, for people to 
 assemble in the churches every Sunday, and that shops 
 are still frequently shut in order, as it is conceived, to 
 preserve the memory of that ancient practice ; but how 
 this can prove a hindrance to business or pleasure is hard 
 to imagine. What if the men of pleasure are forced, one 
 day in the week, to game at home instead of the chocolate 
 houses ? Are not the taverns and coffee-houses open ? 
 Can there be a m>ore convenient season for taking a dose 
 of physic ? Is not Sunday the chief day for traders to 
 sum up the accounts of the week, and for lawyers to 
 prepare their briefs ? But I would fain know how it can 
 be pretended that the churches are misapplied ? Where 
 are more appointments and rendezvouses of gallantry? 
 Where more care to appear in the foremost box with 
 greater advantage of dress ? Where more meetings for 
 business ? Where more bargains driven of all sorts ; and 
 whei^e so many conveniences or excitements to sleep ? " 
 
 But surely, in the fourth place, it is absurd to pay 
 preachers to denounce every Sunday the practices which 
 men engaged in the pursuit of business or pleasure follow 
 during the other days of the week. 
 
 "This objection," Swift thinks, "is a little unworthy 
 of so refined an age as ours. Let us argue this matter 
 calmly. I appeal to the breast of any polite freethinker, 
 whether, in the pursuit of gratifying a predominant 
 passion, he has not always felt a wonderful incitement, 
 by reflecting it was a thing forbidden ; and therefore we 
 
62 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 see, in order to cultivate his taste, the wisdom of the 
 nation has taken special care that the ladies shall be 
 furnished with prohibited silks, and the men with pro- 
 hibited wine. And, indeed, it were to be wished that 
 some other prohibitions were promoted, in order to im- 
 prove the pleasures of the town ;' which, for want of such 
 expedients, begin already, as I am told, to flag and grow 
 languid, giving way daily to cruel inroads fi'om the spleen." 
 
 Lastly, there is the suggestion that the abolition of 
 Christianity will take away the greatest of all sources 
 of discord among men. Do men ever quarrel so furiously 
 as over a disputed point of dogma or ceremonial ? 
 
 To this the reply is made that " there is one darling 
 inclination of mankind which usually affects to be a 
 retainer to religion, though she be neither its parent, its 
 godmother, or its friend ; I mean the spirit of opposition 
 that lived long before Christianity, and can easily subsist 
 without it. Let- us, for instance, examine wherein the 
 opposition of sectaries among us consists ; we shall find 
 Christianity to have no share in it at all. Does the 
 gospel anywhere prescribe a starched, squeezed counte- 
 nance, a stiff formal gait, a singularity of manners and 
 habit, or any affected modes of speech, different from the 
 reasonable part of mankind ? ^ Yet, if Christianity did not 
 lend its name to stand in the gap, and to employ or divert 
 these humours, they must of necessity be spent in contra- 
 ventions to the laws of the land and disturbance of the 
 public peace. There is a portion of enthusiasm assigned 
 to every nation, which, if it has not proper objects to 
 work on, will burst out and set all in a flame. If the 
 quiet of a state can be bought by only flinging men a few 
 ceremonies to devour, it is a purchase no wise man would 
 
 ■ A reference to the exaggerated Puritanical bearing of the 
 Dissenters. 
 
A Tory Convert, 63 
 
 refuse. Let the mastiffs amuse themselves about a 
 sheep's skin stuffed with hay, provided it will keep them 
 from worrying the flock." 
 
 Swift concludes, therefore, that the abolition of 
 Christianity, or rather religion in general, for the latter, 
 not the former, is the great origin of evil, will be attended 
 with several inconveniences. He is, of course, ready to 
 bow to superior authority. But if religion must be 
 abolished, he suggests that this should be delayed to 
 a time of peace. Our allies are Christians, and might 
 misunderstand our motives ! 
 
 The present opportunity may be taken for a brief ex- 
 planation of Swift's religious views. He was not one 
 of those who are able to look upon the conflicting claims 
 of different creeds with the wise calm of a tolerant philo- 
 sophy. Of Roman Catholicism, Swift, like most English- 
 men of his time, was too ignorant to form a rational idea. 
 The eighteenth-century Briton had a deep horror of 
 " Popery and wooden shoes " — a sort of two-headed 
 chimera, like the famous " Pitt-et-Coburg " of the 
 French Revolutionists. Even to Swift's educated mind 
 a Catholic priest was never more than a compound of the 
 professional impostor and the stage villain. 
 
 In the same way. Swift's incapability of realising the 
 sterling qualities of his Nonconformist fellow-country- 
 men, will always be a source of surprise to succeeding 
 generations. His hatred of the Dissenters, it must be 
 noticed, was not based on doctrinal grounds. To these, 
 indeed, he paid little attention. M'hat he disliked in the 
 Puritans was their lack of culture, their horror of amuse- 
 ment, and their hatred of artistic beauty — in a word, the 
 complete absence in their life of what he regarded as life's 
 essentials, sweetness and light. To his intensely logical 
 mind, moreover, fanaticism — that is to say the habit 
 
64 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 of appealing to sentiment instead of to reason — was to 
 the last degree odious ; and in the Puritanism of his day 
 he saw fanaticism in its most extravagant guise. It 
 must be remembered, also, that the memory of Puritan 
 domination during the Commonwealth was still a strong 
 tradition. Men had seen that Puritanism, pushed to a 
 logical conclusion, became a tyranny, in comparison with 
 which the system of Naples or Castile, during the palmy 
 days of the Holy Office, was tolerant and enlightened; and 
 Swift, like countless other honest men, thought it his 
 bounden duty, to watch against the recurrence of such 
 a calamity. It may be added, in conclusion, that Swift's 
 views on the exclusive policy of the English Church were 
 strongly affected by the fact that he himself was an 
 ordained clergyman. Like a soldier at his post, he 
 considered his own prestige as inseparably bound up with 
 that of the army to which he belonged. 
 
 The death of Prince George, Anne's husband, on 
 October 28, 1708, was followed by several changes in the 
 ministry. Lord Pembroke was placed at the Admiralty. 
 Lord Somers, Swift's early friend and patron, became 
 president of the council. These changes might, under 
 ordinary circumstances, have been greatly to Swift's 
 satisfaction. But it soon became evident that the more 
 exclusively Whig the ministry became, the more favour- 
 able it would be to the Dissenters. To Lord Wharton, 
 the new Irish viceroy with whom Addison was associated 
 as chief secretary, direct instructions were given to press 
 for a repeal of the disabilities imposed on Irish Dissenters. 
 Swift soon began to look on Wharton as his deadly enemy. 
 The cause of quarrel between the two is unknown. A 
 story was long afterwards told that Swift applied, through 
 Somers, for the post of chaplain at the Castle, which 
 Wharton refused, with the cutting remark, " My lord. 
 
A Tory Convert. 65 
 
 we must not prefer these fellows ; we have not character 
 enough ourselves." As embodying the general opinion of 
 Dr. Swift's ecclesiastical reputation, the story has in 
 it nothing improbable.^ It, however, rests .on very weak 
 evidence ; and in view of Swift's wonderful ability for 
 contracting inveterate dislikes, it is enough to suppose 
 that Wharton's offence consisted partly in his political 
 opinions, partly in some personal slight offered to Swift 
 himself. Whatever the reason of the quarrel, Wharton's 
 appointment proved to Swift that between him and the 
 Whigs there was a great gulf fixed. He now abandoned 
 his efforts in the first-fruits remission matter. So small 
 had his interest in home affairs grown that when, shortly 
 after these events, a suggestion was made to send Lord 
 Berkeley on a special mission to Vienna, Swift applied for 
 the post of secretary to his lordship. The mission, 
 however, never came off. In December, 1708, Swift's 
 animosity against the Whigs had grown so strong that 
 he wrote a violent pamphlet to denounce the proposed 
 repeal of tests in Ireland. It was written in an assumed 
 character, and is entitled, " A Letter from a Member of 
 the House of Commons in Ireland to a Member of the 
 House of Commons in England, concerning the Sacra- 
 mental Test." London was obviously no place for him 
 under present circumstances. On May 3rd he called 
 on Lord Halifax to say good-bye. His lordship offered 
 him a book, " Poesies Chretiennes de M. Jolivet." Swift 
 took it and carefully wrote upon the fly-leaf, " This is the 
 only favour I have ever received from him (Lord Halifax) 
 
 " On the eve of his departure from England, Swift published an 
 " Apology for the Tale of a Tub." This evidently points to a 
 suspicion existing in his mind that it would have been better for 
 his prospects of advancement if the " Tale " itself had never been 
 written. 
 
 6 
 
66 Dean Swift and his Writings, 
 
 or his party." After a short stay — destined, unfortunately, 
 to be the last — with his mother at Leicester, Swift set out 
 for Ireland. 
 
 From the personal and the political point of view, his 
 visit to' England had been an utter failure. Yet he 
 dreaded the return to Laracor. On the eve of his de- 
 parture from England he heard that Dr. South, Bishop 
 of Cork and holder of a prebend at Westminster, already 
 in his eightieth year, was seriously ill. Like a drowning 
 man catching at a straw, Swift hurriedly wrote off to 
 Lord Halifax. He hoped his lordship would think of 
 him for the bishopric if Dr. South died. Even the 
 prebend would be welcome ; and he reminds Halifax, 
 " The late king promised me a prebend at Westminster, 
 when I petitioned him in pursuance of a recommendation 
 from Sir William Temple." Halifax wrote back, some 
 months later. . He was quite asham.ed of leaving such 
 a genius as Dr. Swift unprovided for. Dr. South could 
 not be immortal, and when he departed Lord Halifax 
 would see that justice was done. But when Dr. South 
 died, another ^yas again preferred in Swift's place, and 
 the episcopal mitre was as far off as ever. 
 
 By the end of June, 1709, Swift was back at Laracor. 
 Swift's stay in Ireland lasted for fourteen months. On 
 May ID, 1710, he received, news that his mother had 
 died at Leicester, on April 24, 1710. Between mother 
 and son there had always been a close ' and sincere 
 affection. " I have now," wrote Swift in his note-book; 
 "lost my barrier between me and death. ^ God grant 
 I may live tp be as well prepared for it as I confidently 
 believe her to have been ! If the way to heaven be 
 through piety, truth, justice, and charity, she is there." 
 Family ties were for hini now at an end. His only 
 sister, Jane Swift, had married a currier named Fenton, 
 

A Tory Convert. 67 
 
 of Bride Street, Dublin. Swift, according to Deane Swift/ 
 despised Fenton because of his occupation. Whatever the 
 reason, he was furious at the marriage. Some years after, 
 Fenton became bankrupt. Swift indeed consented to give 
 his sister a small allowance ; but with his usual implaca- 
 bility, he refused to resume friendly relations with her; nor 
 did he swerve from the resolution till her death in 1738. 
 
 Swift naturally saw a good deal of Mr. Secretary 
 Addison. But while Wharton was viceroy, the gates of 
 Dublin Castle were shut to him. He found no consolation 
 for his ambition in his work at Laracor. " I am this 
 minute very busy," he writes to Dean Sterne, "being 
 to preach to-day before an audience of at least fifteen 
 people, most of them gentle, and all simple. I can send 
 )'ou no news; only the employment of my parishioners 
 may, for memory's sake, be reduced under these heads : 
 Mr. Percival is ditching ; Mrs. Percival in her kitchen ; 
 Mr. Wesley switching ; Mrs. Wesley stitching ; Sir 
 Arthur Longford riching — which is a new word for heaping 
 up riches." The man was evidently pining for London 
 life, with its vast political interests, its brilliant society, 
 and its rich prizes. It is difficult, therefore, to regard 
 as genuine his expressions of dissatisfaction when he 
 received an invitation from the Irish bishops to return 
 to England, on the affair of the first-fruits. Swift, 
 in this second attempt, was associated with the Bishops 
 of Ossory and Killaloe. On August 31st, accompanied 
 by his servant Patrick, he crossed the Channel ; and on 
 Thursday, September 7th, he arrived in London, for 
 \vhat was destined to be the most eventful epoch of his life. 
 
 He came to find the political world as completely 
 changed as the colours in a kaleidoscope. In October, 
 
 ■ A grandson of the Godwin Swift mentioned in chap. i. by the latter's 
 marriaee with a Miss Deane. 
 
6S Dean Swifi and his Writings. 
 
 1708, the Whigs had been supreme. But they were not 
 destined to a long duration of power. England was fast 
 growing weary of the Spanish succession war. By an 
 extraordinary act of political fatuity the allies had refused 
 the abject terms offered by Louis XIV. in the beginning 
 of 1709. France rallied for a last effort, and before the 
 end of the year Englishmen read with astonishment and 
 horror that it had cost the lives of 20,000 allied soldiers 
 to carry the French positions at Malplaquet, while the 
 lives of the vanquished in this so-called victory amounted 
 to little more than half that number. The Whig hero, 
 Marlborough's, rapacity in engrossing offices and pensions 
 disgusted every one. The queen was fast becoming weary 
 of the duchess's aiTogance at court, and a new favourite, 
 the secret emissary of the ex-Tory minister Harley, was 
 rapidly acquiring influence in her place. In 1710, the 
 impeachment of the Tory preacher, Dr. Sacheverell, 
 raised a tremendous rush of Church feeling against the 
 Government. In June, 1710, Lord Sunderland,'^ and, in 
 the August following. Lord Godolphin, were dismissed 
 from office. Harley was made chancellor of the exchequer, 
 and found himself, to all intents and purposes, prime 
 minister. A lover of moderation, he endeavoured to form 
 a coalition with the less advanced Whigs. But the 
 negotiations fell through ; and after some weeks, during 
 which a ne\y parliament with a Toiy majority was 
 returned, the ministry was renconstituted on a Tory 
 basis. Sir Simon Harcourt became attorney-general, and 
 later on lord chancellor. Rochester was lord president in 
 place of Somers. Ormond replaced Wharton as Vicer.oy 
 of Ireland ; and the post of secretary of state was bestowed 
 ton one who, though young in years, had already made his 
 mark as the first orator, the most graceful scholar, and 
 ' Son of the Lord Sunderland mentioned in chap, i. 
 
A Tory Convert, 69 
 
 the most brilliant statesman of the time — Henry St. 
 John. 
 
 The two months which followed Swift's arrival in 
 England are the most interesting in his career. They 
 find him the humble hanger-on of a beaten party. They 
 leave him the honoured ally of a victorious one. Of 
 the incidents of his conduct and the motives which 
 actuated him during this and the ensuing period, we 
 fortunately possess a full account in the " Journal to 
 Stella." This consists of a series of letters written in 
 the form of a diary to his one friend on earth. ^ With no 
 object for reservation, with no suspicion of publicity, 
 writing down every passing whim and prejudice on the 
 spur of the moment, the "Journal to Stella" forms the 
 fullest and the most I'eliable account of his conduct there 
 can possibly be. Let Swift, therefore, tell the story of his 
 adhesion to the Tories in his own words. 
 
 September g, 1710. — " I got here," says Swift, " last 
 Tuesday, after five days' travelling : weary the first, almost 
 dead the second, tolerable the third, and well enough the 
 rest ; and am now glad of the fatigue, which has served 
 for exercise. The Whigs were ravished to see me, and 
 would lay hold on me as a twig while they are drowning, 
 and the great men making me their clumsy apologies. 
 But my lord treasurer (Godolphin) received me with a 
 great deal of coldness, which has enraged me so, I am 
 almost vowing revenge." 
 
 How keenly Swift felt these personal slights is con- 
 stantly evident. On September loth he writes : — " At ten 
 I went to the coffee-house, hoping to find Lord Radnor, 
 whom I had not seen. He was there ; for an hour and 
 
 ' The first date in the Journal is September 2, 17 10; the last, 
 June 6, 1713. The "Journal to Stella" was really written fpr Mrs, 
 Dingley as well as Esther Johnson. 
 
70 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 a half we talked treason heartily against the Whigs, their 
 baseness and ingratitude. And I am come home rolling 
 resentments in my mind, and framing schemes of revenge: 
 full of which (having written down some hints) I go to bed." 
 
 Harley was still trying to negotiate with the Whigs, a 
 few of whom even now remained in office. The latter, 
 however, would have none of him, and bent their efforts 
 to forming a revival of their own strength in the country 
 at large. When Swift applied to them on the affair of 
 the first-fruits, they naturally told him it was impossible 
 to discuss the matter now. His rage against the doomed 
 party grew keener, and he now resolved to apply to Harley 
 himself, whose strong Church views were well known. 
 
 Besides a desire to gain the support of the Church, 
 Harley had another end in view. Most of the clever writers 
 of the day were to be found in the Whig ranks. And to 
 strengthen the Tory side it would be absolutely necessary to 
 win some of them over. The minister well knew the extra- 
 ordinary powers which lay hid in the person of Dr. Swift. 
 When he heard that the latter had received a rebuff from the 
 Whigs, he resolved to send for him at once. In the following 
 extracts the' success of Harley 's conduct will be detailed ; 
 but the reader will notice that it was not the readiness to 
 settle the first-fruits question, but the personal courtesy 
 shown by Harley and his friends to Swift himself, which 
 really turned the latter from a Whig into a Tory henchman. 
 
 October 4th Swift writes: — "After I had put out my 
 candle last night, my landlady came into my room with a 
 servant of Lord Halifax (a Whig) to desire I would go dine 
 with him at his house near Hampton Court ; but I sent 
 him word I had business of great importance that hindered 
 me, &c., &c. And to-day I was brought privately to Mr. 
 Harley, who received me with the greatest respect and 
 kindness imaginable: he has appointed me an hour on 
 
A Tory Convert. 71; 
 
 Saturday at four, afternoon, when I will open my business 
 to him." 
 
 October 7th. — " Going this evening ... to visit Mr. 
 Harley by his own appointment. . . . They had just 
 done dinner. Mr. Harley came out to me and brought 
 me in, and presented me to his son-in-law (Viscount 
 Dupplin), and his own son, and among others Will Penn 
 the Quaker: we sat two hours. drinking as good wine as 
 you do : and two hours more he and I alone : where he 
 heard me tell my business, entered into it with all kind- 
 ness, asked for my powers and read them ; and read 
 likewise a memorial I had drawn up, and put it in his 
 pocket to show the queen, told me the measures he would 
 take, and, in short, said everything I could wish; told me 
 he must bring Mr. St. John, secreta:ry of state, and me 
 acquainted : and spoke so many things of personal kindness 
 and esteem for me, that I am inclined half to believe what 
 some friends have told me, that he would do everything 
 to bring me over. . . . He has desired me to dine with 
 him on Tuesday, and, after four hours being with him, 
 set me down at St. James's Coffee-house in a hackney- 
 coach. All this is odd and comical, if you consider him 
 and me. He knew my Christian name very well." 
 
 October 8th.—" I must tell you a great piece of refine- 
 ment of Harley. He charged me to come to him often ; 
 I told him I was loath to trouble him in so much business 
 as he had, and desired I might have leave to come at his 
 Uvea; which he immediately refused, and said, * That was 
 not a place iov friends to come to.' " 
 
 October loth.— " I dined with Mr. Harley to-day, who 
 presented me to the attorney-general. Sir Simon Har- 
 court, with much compliment on all sides, &c. Harley 
 told me he had shown my memorial to the queen, and- 
 seconded it very heartily ; and he desires me to dine with 
 
72 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 him again on Sunday, when he promises to settle it with 
 her Majesty before she names a governor,'' and I protest 
 I am in hopes it will be done all but the forms by that 
 time, for he loves the Church : this is a popular thing, 
 and he would not have a governor share in it ; and 
 besides, I am told by all hands he has a mind to gain me 
 over." From the last sentence it would seem Swift knew 
 Harley's design ; but he was a willing victim, and had 
 already made up his mind to break with the Whigs. 
 On October 12th he writes : — " Lord Halifax is always 
 teasing me to go down to his country house, which 
 will cost me a guinea to his servants and twelve 
 shillings coach hire ; and he shall be hanged first." 
 Giving full play to his new views, he \yrote a lampoon 
 on Godolphin, entitled " Sid Hamet's Rod." He refers 
 to it in a tone of great glee in the Journal for October 
 15th : — " I dined to-day with Mr. Harley : Mr. Prior^ 
 dined with us. He has left my memorial with the 
 queen. . . After dinner came in Lord Peterborough : 
 we renewed our acquaintance and he grew mightily fond 
 of me. They began to talk of a paper of verses called 
 ' Sid Hamet.' Mr. Harley repeated part, and then pulled 
 them out, and gave them to a gentleman at the table 
 to read, though they had all read them often ; Lord 
 Peterborough would let nobody read them but himself: 
 so he did : and Mr. Harley bobbed me at every line to 
 take notice of the beauties. . . . Harley presented me to 
 Lord President of Scotland (Dalrymple), and Mr. Benson, 
 a lord of the treasury." 
 
 Sid Hamet was Godolphin ; his rod was the white 
 staff, the sign of his office of lord treasurer. The 
 
 " I.e., the Lord Lieutenant of Ireland. The Duke of Ormond was 
 selected for this post. 
 
 ' Matthew Prior (1664-1721), poet and wit, first patronised by the 
 Whigs, but won over to the Tories by Harley. 
 
A Tory Convert. 73 
 
 poem is very bitter in tone, and one can well imagine 
 the glee with which it was received at a Tory dinner 
 party. The following lines refer to Godolphin's slavish 
 deference to moneyed men : — 
 
 " They tell us something strange and odd, 
 About a certain magic rod, 
 That, bending down its top, divines 
 Whene'er the soil has golden mines ; 
 Where there are none it stands erect, 
 Scorning to show the least respect : 
 As ready was the wand of Sid 
 To bend where golden mines were hid." 
 
 Then comes a reference to Godolphin's sleep -bringing 
 style of oratory ; — 
 
 " The rod of Hermes was renown'd 
 For charms above and under ground ; 
 To sleep could mortal eyelids fix. 
 And drive departed souls to Styx. 
 That rod was just a type of Sid's, 
 Which o'er a British senate's lids 
 Could scatter opium full as well, 
 And drive as many souls to Hell." 
 
 Lastly, Godolphin's trick of winning political adherents 
 by delusive promises of Government appointments is thus 
 satirised : — 
 
 " Sid's rod was slender, white, and tall, 
 Which oft he used to fish withal ; 
 A place was fastened to the hook, 
 And many score of gudgeons took ; 
 Yet still so happy was his fate. 
 He caught his fish and saved his bait." 
 
 Harley's engagement about the first-fruits was no 
 courtier's promise. On October 21st the queen granted 
 the desired remission. Harley, however, was not con- 
 
74 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 tented with this. In the memorial announcing the 
 remission to the Irish bishops, special mention was made 
 of the great energy and devotion shown in the matter by 
 Dr. Swifts— a subtle flattery by which Swift was greatly 
 delighted. 
 
 " I believe never anything was compassed so soon," says 
 the Journal, " and purely done by my personal credit with 
 Mr. Harley, who is so excessively obliging, that I know 
 not what to make of it, unless to show the rascals of the 
 other party that they used a man unworthily who had 
 deserved them better." St. John, the secretary of state, 
 who " used me with all the kindness imaginable," Swift 
 was not able to meet till November nth* But by the 
 end of October his alliance with the Tory ministry was 
 fully sealed. In his " Memoir Relating to the Change in 
 Queen Anne's Ministry in 1710," Swift gives a concise 
 though not very straightforward account of the arrange- 
 ment between them. When the affair of the first-fruits, 
 he says, was completed, he; paid Harley a visit to return 
 thanks, and announced his intention of now returning lo 
 Ireland. Harley thereupon, says Swift, told me " He and 
 his friends knew very well what useful things I had written 
 against the principles of the late discarded faction,^ and 
 that my personal esteem for" several among them would 
 not make me a favourer of their cause : that there was 
 now entirely a new scene : that the queen was resolved 
 to employ none but those who were friends to the Con- 
 
 ' Referring to Swift's pamphlets, "The Sentiments of a Church of 
 England Man," and the "Letter on the Sacramental Test." When 
 accused of being a " Trimmer," Swift referred to them to show he had 
 been a Tory in 1708, and had already incurred the dislike of the 
 Whigs because of his views. But it must be remembered that these 
 works were published anonymously, so his statement is not worth 
 much. 
 
A Tory Convert. 75 
 
 stitution of Church and State : that their great difficulty 
 lay in the want of some good pen, to keep up the spirit 
 raised in the people, to avert the principles and justify 
 the proceedings of the new ministers." The minister 
 went on to say that the writers now in present employ 
 did not give complete satisfaction ; would Swift therefore 
 undertake the task ? In return the Government would 
 see that his services were properly acknowledged. Swift 
 closed with the offer. 
 
 On November 2, 1710, he took charge of the ministerial 
 organ. The Examiner. The Whigs had discarded him, 
 but his hour of revenge had come. " Rot them for 
 ungrateful dogs," he wrote in his Journal. " I will make 
 them repent their usage (of me) before I leave this place." 
 
 On the morality of Swift's desertion from the Whigs to 
 the Tories much needless comment has been written. It 
 is enough to state here that a biographer's attitude should 
 be strictly impersonal ; and that he should confine him- 
 self to tracing the development of dominant character- 
 istics, rather than to showing how certain actions fall 
 above or below a certain moral standard.^ There is, more- 
 over, no subject less worthy of discussion than the ques- 
 tion of political consistency. To deal with the last century 
 alone, it is impossible to name a single eminent statesman 
 
 ■ Thomas Cailyle has thus staled the real object of biography : 
 " What are your historical facts ; still more your biographical .'' Wilt 
 thou know a man, above all a man-kind, by stringing together bead- 
 rolls of what thou namest facts ? The man is the spirit he worked in ; 
 not what he did, but what he became. Facts are engraved hiero- 
 grams, for which the fewest have the key, and then how your block- 
 head studies not their meaning ; but simply whether they are well or 
 ill-cut, what he calls moral or immoral ! " (" Sartor Resartus," bk. ii. 
 ch. X.). That great defect of English criticism, the attempt to find a 
 moral in everything, is specially noticed by M. Taine in his " History 
 of English Literature." 
 
76 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 whose career is not marked by the irost gross and glaring 
 contradictions. What has been said against Swift may 
 be said with greater truth against Bolingbroke, Walpole, 
 both the Pitts, and Charles James Fox. 
 
 All, therefore, that requires to be asked is, What 
 motives influenced Swift when he consented to become a 
 Tory henchman ? Regarding the earlier part of his con- 
 duct there is obviously no difficulty. He had laid it down 
 as an axiom that a "Church of England man " was at perfect 
 liberty to attach himself to whatever party seemed best 
 likely to promote his own special interests. And he went 
 from Somers to Harley solely because the latter was more 
 friendly to the Church of England than the former. But 
 the matter of the first-fruits was settled and done with in 
 October, 1710. What, then, induced Swift to go beyond 
 this point and turn himself into a close ally of the Tory 
 party on matters disconnected with the Church ? In 
 accordance with the view taken of his character in the 
 pi-eceding pages, his motives must be regarded as purely 
 personal. 
 
 Conscious of his strength, his ambition was to be able 
 to shape the destinies of a nation ; to be the adviser of 
 its chosen statesmen and the companion of its most 
 brilliant society ; and to prove the folly of those who had 
 committed the unpardonable crime of refusing to recog- 
 nise his talents. All this and more the Tories were ready 
 to give him in return for political support. Like Mira- 
 beau, when he undertook the defence of the French 
 monarchy against the Revolution, Swift was ready to join 
 any party which consented to place its conduct in his 
 hands. What use he made of political and social great- 
 ness the two ensuing chapters will endeavour to show. 
 
CHAPTER IV. 
 POLITICAL ACTIVITY. 
 
 Harley and St. John — Fondness of Swift for Harley — His character of 
 St. John — Distrust of that statesman — Ditificulties of the Tory 
 ministry— Swift's writings in The Examhter — His condemnation 
 of the Whig party and their leaders — Eulogy of the Tory 
 ministers — Swift's invectives against Wharton — General policy of 
 the Tories — Estrangement between Swift and his old friends, 
 Addison and Steele — Vexation of Swift thereat — Close intimacy 
 of Swift with Harley and St. John — A quarrel with Harley — A 
 quarrel with St. John — The '■Journal to Stella," a record of events 
 ■ — The Tory leaders willing to retain the Duke of Marlborough 
 — But resolved on the duchess's expulsion from court — Swift's 
 attacks on the duke — Avarice of the latter — The ministry resolve 
 to open negotiations for peace with France — Gaultier's mission — 
 The war attacked in The Examiner — Guiscard's attempt to 
 murder Harley — Consequent popularity of Harley — Anxiety of 
 Swift on his account — Prior's mission to France — Swift's burlesque 
 account thereof — The preliminaries of peace signed— Opposition 
 to it of the Whigs — They are joined by Nottingham — The peace 
 condemned in the House of Lords — Alarm of the ministry — 
 Swift's " Conduct of the AUies "—His ballad on Lord Nottingham ( 
 • — His "Windsor Prophecy" — Punishment of Marlborough — The 
 " Fable of Midas " — Pamphlet warfare — The Stamp Act — Swift 
 as a patron — Hesitation of the ministry to promote him — Is made 
 Dean of St. Patrick's — Peace signed — Swift's quarrel with Steele 
 — His departure for Ireland. 
 
 Of the new ministers, those with whom Swift was most 
 brought into contact were Harley and St. John, Few 
 statesmen have had a finer monument than that erected 
 
 77 
 
78 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 to Harley by Alexander Pope in the well-known lines 
 beginning : — 
 
 " A soul supreme in each hard instance tried, 
 Above all pain, all passion, and all pride, 
 The rage of pow'r, the blast of public breath, 
 The lust of lucre, and the dread of death." 
 
 Pope's admiration was, if anything, surpassed by that 
 of Swift. In his " Inquiry into the Behaviour of the 
 Queen's Last Ministry," the latter describes Harley as 
 " a person of as much virtue as can possibly consist with 
 the love of power; and his love of power is no greater 
 than what is common to men of his superior capacities ; 
 neither did any man ever appear to value it less after he 
 had obtained it, or exert it with more moderation. He 
 is the only instance that ever fell within my memory or 
 observation of a person passing from a private life, through 
 the several stages of greatness, without any perceivable 
 impression upon his temper or behaviour." And in a con- 
 fidential letter to Archbish'op King he writes of him as 
 " much the greatest minister I ever knew : regular in life, 
 with a true sense of religion, an excellent scholar, and a 
 good divine ; of a very mild and affable disposition, in- 
 trepid in his notions, and indefatigable in business, an 
 utter despiser of money for himself, yet frugal, perhaps to 
 an extremity, for the public." The " Journal to Stella," 
 the good faith of which is above suspicion, is crowded 
 with passages referring to Harley in terms of the most 
 reverential affection. 
 
 It must be confessed that there was little in Harley's 
 character or achievements to warrant such extravagant 
 laudations. 
 
 Robert Harley is one of many instances which prove 
 that success in English politics is far more easily ob- 
 
Political Activity. 79 
 
 tained by mediocre abilities, coupled with a conven- 
 tional type of character, than by original talent or trans- 
 cendent energy. He was not a great oi'ator ; he was 
 incapable of rapid and clear decision ; he could lay no 
 claim to constructive statesmanship. Yet as speaker of 
 three parliaments, at a time when the speaker was far 
 more of a partisan than now, he had made no enemies. 
 Devoid of personal animosity he was well fitted, as chief 
 minister, to reconcile the discordant interests which 
 occasionally arise in every cabinet. When once con- 
 vinced of the right political method he followed it up 
 with extraordinary pertinacity. He had great presence 
 of mind, and his calm bearing in moments of personal 
 danger extorted the admiration of the severest critics. 
 A good husband and father, and a sincere Christign 
 in morals and religion, he enjoyed the thorough con- 
 fidence of that great middle class, which though, at that 
 time, unable to take much direct part in politics, could 
 yet make its opinion felt with powerful effect when- 
 ever necessary. He loved the society of men of letters, 
 who repaid his patronage by many a panegyric. We are 
 told that he drank largely of claret — a practice which, 
 while it dulled his brain, increased the natural geniality 
 of his bearing; and few of his associates, especially if of 
 lower rank than himself, were able ~to resist the charm of 
 his familiar intercourse. 
 
 It would have been impossible- to find a greater contrast 
 to Harley than his brilliant young colleague, Henry St. 
 John, better known by his title of Lord Bolingbroke. The 
 character drawn of the latter by Swift is so excellent in 
 style that it may be reproduced entire. 
 
 " It happens to very few men, in any age or country, to 
 come into the world with so many advantages of nature 
 and fortune as the late Secretary Bolingbroke : descended 
 
So Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 from the best families in England, heir to a great patri- 
 monial estate, of a sound constitution, and a most graceful, 
 amiable person : but all these, had they been of equal 
 value, were infinitely inferior in degree to the accomplish- 
 ments of his mind, which was adorned with the choicest 
 gifts that God has yet thought fit to bestow upon the 
 children of men ; a strong memory, a clear judgment, a 
 vast range of wit and fancy, a thorough comprehension, 
 an invincible eloquence, with a most agreeable elocution. 
 He had well cultivated all these talents by travel and 
 study, the latter of which he seldom omitted even in the 
 midst of his pleasures, of which he had indeed been too 
 great and criminal a pursuer ; for although he was per- 
 suaded to leave off intemperance in wine, which he did 
 for some time to such a degree that he seemed rather 
 abstemious, yet he was said to allow himself other 
 liberties, which can by no means be reconciled to religion 
 or morals, whereof I have reason to believe he began to 
 be sensible. But he was fond of mixing pleasure and 
 business, and of being esteemed excellent at both ; upon 
 which account he had a great respect for the characters 
 of Alcibiades and Petronius, especially the latter, whom 
 he would be gladly thought to resemble. His detractors 
 charged him with some degree of affectation, and per- 
 haps not altogether without grounds ; since it was hardly 
 possible for a young man, with half the business of the 
 nation upon him and the applause of the whole, to 
 escape some tincture of that infirmity. He had been 
 early bred to business, was a most artful negotiator, and 
 perfectly understood foreign affairs. But what I have 
 often wondered at in a man of his temper was his pro- 
 digious application whenever he thought it necessary ; for 
 he would plod whole days and nights like the lowest clerk 
 in an office. His talent of speaking in public, for which 
 
Political Activity. 8i 
 
 he was so very celebrated, I know nothing of except from 
 the informations of others; but understanding men of both 
 parties have assured me that, in this point, in their 
 memory and judgment, he was never equalled." 
 
 It would be impossible to more finely appreciate St. 
 John's abilities than is done in the above. But Swift's 
 was a suspicious nature, and he never extended to St. 
 John the love and confidence he reposed in Harley. In 
 the "Journal to Stella " he describes the former as " the 
 greatest young man " he ever met. He praises his ability, 
 but he notes the secretary's affected air of overwork ; and 
 he comments unfavourably on his attempt to mix the man 
 of business and the man of pleasure. " What truth and 
 sincerity he may have," Swift concludes, " I know not." 
 Swift's judgment on the two leading statesmen is thus 
 somewhat conventional. Brilliance is not necessarily 
 associated with perfidy. St. John, it is true, was inclined 
 to look on the world as a great stage, on which he was 
 playing a prominent and dashing part. But there has 
 ever been a want of the picturesque in English politics, 
 and an unprejudiced reader will feel real gratitude to the 
 statesman who endeavoured to supply it. 
 
 The Tory ministry possessed a large majority in the 
 House of Commons. It was in high favour at court ; and 
 it had a definite political aim in the attainment of peace. 
 The ministerial party however was far from harmonious. 
 Harley, a man of moderate views, had no sympathy with 
 party feeling and wished to establish his government on a 
 wide basis of general support. The leading financiers, 
 moreover, were Whigs to a man, and the need of heavy 
 loans to carry on the service of the year rendered con- 
 ciliation absolutely necessary. Such a course did not 
 please the extreme Tories, who clamoured for revenge. 
 They were known as the October Club, from the October 
 
 7 
 
82 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 beer in which they nightly drank damnation to the Whigs. 
 The queen's favour, lastly, was very uncertain. Mrs. 
 Masham was a vigilant guardian of Tory interests ; but 
 to win the easy-tempered Anne's confidence was very 
 easy, and the knowledge that she might veer round at 
 any time was a constant source of alarm to the Tory 
 ministers. The whole situation is admirably summed up 
 by Swift : " This kingdom is as certainly ruined as much 
 as ever was any bankrupt merchant. We must have 
 peace, let it be a bad or a good one, though nobody dares 
 talk of it. The nearer I look upon things the worse I 
 like them. I believe the confederacy will soon break to 
 pieces, and our factions at home increase. The ministry 
 is upon a very narrow bottom, and stands like an isthmus 
 between the Whigs on one side and the violent Tories on 
 the other. They are able seamen, but the tempest is too 
 great, and the ship too rotten, and the crew all against 
 them. . . . They have cautioned the queen so much 
 against being governed, that she observes it too much." 
 
 In view of the above circumstances the Government 
 resolved to begin operations by following a middle course. 
 They determined to show their gratitude to the Church 
 without pressing too hardly on the Dissenters ; to under- 
 mine the Whig commander-in-chief, Marlborough, in public 
 estimation, but to allow him to retain his post in return 
 for political support ; to impress upon the October Club 
 the absolutfe necessity of moderation ; and lastly to bring 
 about a change in public opinion regarding the war with 
 France. 
 
 All these points are well brought out by Swift in Tha 
 Examiner, a weekly paper conducted by him from Novem- 
 ber 2, 1710 to June 14, 1711. The line he took was bold, 
 original, and effective. Discarding the ordinary methods 
 of political controversy he appealed to his countrymen in 
 
Political Activity, 83 
 
 the name of patriotism ; not of party. The Revolution of 
 168S he maintained had not changed the fundamental con- 
 stitution of the country. The Crown was still entitled to take 
 its part in the work of government ; its duty being to choose 
 as counsellors the best and most trustworthy men, irre- 
 spective of any private faction to which they might belong. 
 How absurd, then, to revile the queen for the recent minis- 
 terial revolution. " Why should not a revolution in the 
 ministry be sometimes necessary, as well as a revolution 
 in the Crown ? " asked Swift, with a clever hit at one of 
 the best-known Whig professions. Had not a large 
 majority of the people shown their approval of the change 
 by .sending a Tory majority to parliament ? The Whigs 
 affected to believe in the voice of the people. Why, then, 
 their opposition now ? The reason was this : 
 
 Shortly after the Revolution of 1688 a body of men, 
 now represented by the present Whig leaders, had entered 
 the political world. Forming themselves into an exclu- 
 sive faction, into vi^hich no man unable to utter their 
 unmeaning shibboleths could enter, they had drawn the 
 power and wealth of the whole state into their hands, 
 The Whig claim to speak in the name of the country was 
 an absurdity too gross to require refutation. 
 
 "I do not take the heads, advocates, and followers of 
 the Whigs," he writes in 'Examiner, No. ^6, " to make 
 up, strictly speaking, a national party ; being patched up 
 of heterogeneous, inconsistent parts, whom nothing served 
 to unite but the common interest of sharing in the spoil 
 and plunder of the people ; the present dread of their 
 adversaries, by whom they apprehended to be called to 
 an account ; and that general conspiracy of endeavouring 
 to overturn Church and State ; which, however, if they 
 could have compassed, they would certainly have fallen 
 out among themselves, and broke in pieces, as their prede- 
 
84 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 cessors did after they destroyed the monarchy and religion. 
 For how could a Whig, who is against all discipline, agree 
 with a Presbyterian, who carries it higher than the papists 
 themselves ? How could a Socinian adjust his models to 
 either ? Or how could any of these cement into a deist 
 or freethinker, when they have to consult upon points of 
 faith ? Neither would they have agreed better in their 
 systems of government. Where some would have been 
 for a king under the limitations of a Duke of Venice ; 
 others for a Dutch republic ; a third party for an aris- 
 tocracy ; and most of all for some new fabric of their own 
 contriving." 
 
 " The most cursory examination of the Whigs," he 
 goes on to say, " will show them to possess all the 
 characteristics of a discreditable faction. They associate 
 themselves with those who dislike the old Establishment, 
 religious and civil. They are full of new schemes in 
 politics and divinity ; they have an incurable hatred 
 against the old nobility, and strengthen their party by 
 dependants raised from the lowest of the people. They 
 have several ways of working themselves into power; but 
 they are sure to be called when a corrupt administration 
 wants to be supported against those who are endeavour- 
 ing at a reformation : and they firmly observe that cele- 
 brated maxim of preserving power by the same arts by 
 which it is attained." ' 
 
 On the arrogance and ambition of the Whig leaders 
 Swift lays special stress. Putting the monarchy in tute- 
 lage to themselves they had " spread a huge, invisible 
 net between prince and subject." A government should 
 pride itself upon its national and conciliatory character.* 
 The Whig leaders, on the other hand, ' " went on daily 
 
 ' Examiner, No. 32, March 8, 1711. 
 
Political Activity. 85 
 
 narrowing their terms of communion, pronouncing nine 
 parts in ten of the kingdom heretics, and shutting them 
 out of the pale of the Church. These very men, who 
 talk so much of comprehension in religion among us, how 
 came they to allow so little of it in politics, which is their 
 sole religion ? " 
 
 The ministerial change of 1710 had been an attempt to 
 substitute a really national government for the system of 
 subservience to a grasping gang of political adventurers. 
 " Things were grown to such a height that it was no 
 longer the question whether a person, who aimed at an 
 employment, were a Whig or a Tory ; much less whether 
 he had merit or proper abilities for what he pretended to: 
 he must owe his preferment only to favourites ; and the 
 Crown was so far from nominating, that they would not 
 allow it a negative." Was not, then, the queen right in 
 emancipating herself from so iniquitous a bondage ? "I 
 believe," says Swift, " that a prince thus treated by those 
 he has most confided in, and perpetually loaded with his 
 favours, ought to extricate himself as soon as possible, 
 and is then only blamable in his choice of the time when 
 he defers one minute after it is in his power ; because 
 from the monstrous encroachments of exorbitant avarice 
 and ambition, he cannot tell how long it may continue to 
 be so. And it will be found upon inquiring into history 
 that most of those princes who have been ruined by, 
 favourites have owed their misfortunes to the neglect 
 of earlier remedies : deferring to struggle till quite 
 sunk." 
 
 Having thus exposed the character and designs of the 
 defeated party Swift turned to the defence of the new 
 Government. 
 
 In The Examiner, No. 37, published February i, 1711, 
 Swift eulogises the new Tory ministers in such a way as to 
 
86 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 make at the same time a series of bitter personal attacks 
 on their predecessors. 
 
 Regarding Sir Simon Harcourt he says : " Was any 
 man ever more eminent in his profession than the present 
 lord keeper ? ... It must be granted that he is wholly 
 ignorant in the speculative as well as practical part of 
 polygamy ; he knows not how to metamorphose a sober 
 man into a lunatic; he is no freethinker in religion, nor 
 has courage to be patron of an atheistical book, while he 
 is guardian of the queen's conscience. Although, after all, 
 to speak in my private opinion, I cannot think these 
 such mighty objections to his character as some would 
 pretend." 
 
 After giving a summary of Harley's merits he concludes : 
 " With all these virtues, it must be granted there is some 
 mixture of human infirmity. His greatest. admirers must 
 confess his skill at cards and dice to be very low and 
 superficial ; in horse-racing he is utterly ignorant ; then, 
 to save a few millions to the public, he never i^egards 
 how many worthy citizens he hinders from making their 
 plum." 
 
 Of Mr, St. John he remarks : " It is to be lamented 
 tha:t he has not yet procured himself a busy, important 
 countenance, nor learned that profound part of wisdom 
 to be difficult of access. Besides, he has clearly mistaken 
 the true use of books, which he has thumbed and spoiled 
 with reading, when he ought to have multiplied them on 
 his shelves; not like a great man of my acquaintance, 
 who knew a book by the back better than a friend by the 
 face, although he had never conversed with the former, 
 and often with the latter." 
 
 Swift knew that revolutions are not made by rose-water, 
 and he paid back his ruder opponents full measure in 
 their own coin. For the talent of abuse he had a natural 
 
Political Activity. 87 
 
 genius ; and woe betide those who, in this important 
 branch of political life, essayed to break a lance With so 
 fell an adversary ! His " Character of Thomas, Earl of 
 Wharton " stands pre-eminent among the abusive pam- 
 phlets of the time : 
 
 " Thomas, Earl of Wharton, Lord Lieutenant of Ireland, 
 by the force of a wonderful constitution has some years 
 passed his grand climacteric without any visible eifects 
 of old age either on his body or his mind, and in spite of 
 a continual prostitution to those vices which usually wear 
 out both. . . . He seems to be but an ill-dissembler and 
 an ill-liar, although they are the two talents he most 
 practises and most values himself upon.' The ends he 
 has gained by lying appear to be more owing to the fre- 
 / quency than the art of them, his lies being detected some- 
 times in an hour, often in a day, and always in a week. 
 . . . He swears solemnly he loves and will serve you ; 
 and your back is no sooner turned but he tells those about 
 him that you are a dog and a rascal. He goes con- 
 stantly to prayers in the, forms of his place and talks 
 blasphemy at the chapel door. . . . He bears the gallan- 
 tries of his lady with the indifference of a stoic. . . . With 
 a good natural understanding, a great fluency in speaking, 
 and no ill-taste of wit, he is generally the worst companion 
 in the world ; his thoughts being wholly taken up between 
 vice and politics, so that lewdness, profaneness, and busi- 
 ness fill up his whole conversation." 
 
 So much for personal character. On the iniquities of 
 Wharton's public career Swift dilated at great length. 
 He accused him of the grossest corruption in his office as 
 Lord Lieutenant of Ireland. Wharton, according to the 
 
 , ' This may be compared, to Talleyrand's sarcasm on his rival 
 Metternich. " M. de Metternich ment toujours, mais il ne trompe 
 jamais." 
 
83 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 pamphlet, had openly sold places in the administration ; 
 he had made enormous sums out of Government contracts ; 
 he had carried on peculation in the pettier details of 
 his office; and he had given Dr, Lloyd ^ rich Church 
 preferment, because that ecclesiastic married his cast-off 
 mistress. In No. i8, of T/ie Examiner, Swift, assuming 
 the character of Cicero, uttered an imaginary speech 
 against Verres, the evil governor of Sicily. Under Verres, 
 Wharton, under Sicily, Ireland, will be at once undei"- 
 stood : 
 
 " My Lords, — We bring before you in judgment, a 
 public robber, an adulterer, a defiler of altars, an enemy 
 of religion and of all that is sacred. In Sicily he sold all 
 employments of judicature, magistracy, and trust, places 
 in the council, and the priesthood itself, to the highest 
 bidder; and has plundered that island of forty millions of 
 sesterces. And here^I cannot but observe to your lord- 
 ships how Verres passed the day ; the morning was spent 
 in 'taking bribes and selling emj)loyments — the rest of it 
 in drunkenness and lust. His discourse at table was 
 scandalously unbecoming the dignity of his station ; noise, 
 brutality, and obsceneness. One particular I cannot 
 omit : that in the high character of Governor of Sicily, 
 upon a solemn day, a day set apart for public prayer 
 for the safety of the commonwealth, he stole at evening 
 in a chair to a married woman of infamous character, 
 against all decency and prudence, as- well as against all 
 laws, both human and divine." » 
 
 ' See Chapter I, p. 7. 
 
 ' It is amusing to compare with these diatribes the laudatory terms 
 in which Wharton is spoken of in The Spectator. " My lord," says 
 the dedication prefixed to No. 323, "we admire some for the dignity, 
 others for the popularity, of their behaviour ; some for their clearness 
 of judgment, others for their happiness of expression ; some for the 
 
Political Activity. 89 
 
 Swift's defence of the ministerial policy in general is no 
 less decided. He takes great credit for the high moral tone 
 of their rule. Have they not voted a sum of money to build 
 fifty new churches in the metropolis which the Whigs 
 had practically left in spiritual destitution ? On their 
 economy he lays great stress. They are ready to con- 
 tinue the war if need be, but they say that this enormous 
 increase of the national debt is a serious calamity, and they 
 will therefore have no objection to entering on negotia- 
 tions for peace as soon as favourable terms are offered. 
 He confesses that the Government can lay no claim to the 
 Whig merit of universal religious toleration ? But is this 
 necessarily a blessing ? The Whigs accuse the Govern- 
 ment of favouring popery. But, if any, it is the Whigs, 
 who, by their doctrine of complete liberty of conscience, 
 are in favour of this design. He praises the care shown 
 by the Government for "the landed men " — the real back- 
 bone of the country; and he points out the beneficial 
 character of certain minor ministerial measures — for in- 
 stance, the attempt to stop the naturalisation of pauper 
 foreigners.^ 
 
 Swift's close and novel alliance with the Tories had 
 much disgusted his Whig friends Addison and Steele. 
 Though, however, the latter were strong politicians, 
 Swift tried hard to remain on good terms with them. On 
 December 14, 1710, he writes: " Mr. Addison and I are 
 different as black and white, and I believe our fiiendship 
 
 laying of schemes, and others for their execution. It is your lordship 
 only who enjoys these several talents united, and that too in as great 
 perfection as others possess them singly.'' Richard Steele, by whom 
 this is written was a Whig ; hence the different views taken by him 
 and Swift. 
 
 ' For the case of the immigrants from the Palatinate, see E.va?m'/ter, 
 No. 45 (June/, 171 1). 
 
90 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 will go off by this damned business of party ; he cannot 
 bear seeing me fall in so with this ministry ; but I love 
 him still as well as ever, though we seldom meet." Un- 
 willing to quarrel with literary associates, from whose ruin 
 he had nothing to gain, Swift tried hard to persuade the 
 Tory ministry to keep Steele in his post of gazetteer. 
 Twice did he make appointments for an interview between 
 Steele and the chief ministers. But it was not known in 
 the memory of man that Richard Steele, Esq., ever kept 
 an appointment. Steele did not appear, and his post was 
 taken from him. Swift suggests in his Journal that 
 Addison " hindered him out of mere spite, being grated to 
 the soul to think he should ever want my help to save his 
 f.iend." ' For this charge there seems little foundation, 
 but the alienation between Swift and Addison rapidly 
 proceeded. On January 14, 1711, Swift met the latter 
 accidentally at a coffee-house. The two talked coldly 
 awhile. " All our friendship and dearness are off," * 
 Swift notes. 
 
 Yet even now we find him recommending Addison to 
 the ministry. This again came to nothing.3 ; The cold- 
 ness between Swift and his old friends, grew more 
 marked, and before long he found himself completely 
 estranged. On March 16, 1711, he writes: " I never see 
 them (Addison and Steele);, and I plainly told Mr. 
 Harley and Mr. St. John ten days ago, before my lord 
 keeper and Lord Rivers, that I had been foolish enough 
 to spend my credit with them in favour of Addison and 
 Steele ; but that I would engage and promise never to 
 say one word in their behalf, having been used so ill for 
 what I had already done." With Addison Swift always 
 maintained a polite though very frigid intercourse. Steele, 
 
 ' Journal, December 15, 1710. ' Ibid., Januaiy 14, 1711. 
 
 ' Ibid., February 14, 171 1, 
 
Political Activity, 91 
 
 as will be seen later on, became his bitter enemy. Some 
 compensation for the loss of private friendships was, how- 
 ever, obtained by Swift in the close intimacy he now 
 formed with the leading ministers. There were few 
 nights in the week in which he did not dine with Harley 
 or St. John, and spend the evening in discussing the 
 situation with his hosts. 
 
 His determination to be treated as an equal by his 
 patrons is constantly evidenced from passages in the 
 Journal. He hoped in return for his services to be offered 
 some rich preferment later on. But he was resolved not 
 to accept the wages of an ordinary hireling. 
 
 On one occasion Harley sent him a bank-note for fifty 
 pounds. Swift sent it back thi'ough Harley's secretary, 
 Erasmus Lewis, accompanied by a strong protest. Harley 
 saw his mistake, and sent a letter to Lewis, expressing 
 his regret at what had occurred. But this was not enough 
 for Swift. " I was deaf to all entreaties," he wrote in the 
 Journal,^ " and have desired Lewis to go to him and let 
 him know that I expected further satisfaction. If we let 
 these great ministers pretend too much, there will be no 
 governing them. He promises to make me easy if I will 
 but come and see him ; but I will not, and he shall do it by 
 message, or I will cast him off." Harley readily per- 
 formed the required humiliation, and Swift, to use his own 
 words, consented to " take him into favour again." ^ "I 
 went to Mr. Harley's," he writes on February 16, 1711, 
 " who was not gone to dinner ; there I stayed till nine, 
 and he has invited me to dinner to-morrow, which is the 
 day of the week (Saturday) that lord keeper and Secretary 
 St. John dine with him privately, and at last they have 
 consented to let me dine among them on that day." This 
 
 ' Journal, February 7, 1711. ^ Ibid., February 13, 1711. 
 
92 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 was in reality a very great triumph. The triumvirate above 
 mentioned formed a kind of inner cabinet, the Saturday 
 night dinners being specially devoted to important politi- 
 cal consultation. His admittance thereto, which was 
 regularly maintained, thus placed Swift in the most com- 
 plete confidence of his patrons. 
 
 With Harley Swift rarely quarrelled. That minister's 
 simple bearing and genial temper completely won Swift's 
 heart. To the last, however, he was unable to overcome 
 his feeling of distrust towards the more brilliant St. John. 
 One of the quarrels between them is referred to at great 
 length in the Journal. On April i, 171 1, Swift dined with 
 the secretary and found him very silent and reserved. 
 Swift was resolved not to put up with even an uninten- 
 tional slight. On April 3, 1711, we find in his diary the 
 following interesting passage : " I called at Mr. Secretary to 
 see what the devil ailed him on Sunday ; I made him a very - 
 proper speech ; told him ' I observed he was much out of 
 temper : that I did not expect he would tell me the cause, 
 but would be glad to see he was in better'; and one 
 thing I warned him of, ' never to appear cold to me, for I 
 would not be treated like a schoolboy ; that I had felt too 
 much of that in ray life already (meaning Sir William 
 Temple), that I expected every great minister, who 
 honoured me with his acquaintance, if he heard or saw 
 anything to my disadvantage, would let me know in plain 
 words, and not put me in pain to guess by the change or 
 coldness of his countenance or behaviour ; for it was what I 
 would hardly bear from a crowned head, and I thought no 
 subject's favour was worth it ; and that I designed to let 
 my lord keeper and Mr. Harley know the same thing, 
 that they might use me accordingly.' He took all right ; 
 said ' I had reason ' ; vowed ' nothing ailed him but 
 sitting up whole nights at business, and one night at 
 
c/lrri itj, ■yyt..y(<m7i', /<<,H-ru?it-^ /i)r>//'nr^/')/^Ay 
 
Political Activity. 93 
 
 drinking'; would have had me dine with him and Mrs. 
 Masham's brother, to make up matters, but I would not." 
 St. John's amends were ultimately accepted, but the great 
 difference in age, tastes, and character between him and 
 Swift always placed a bar between the two. 
 
 Of the history of the time and the part played therein 
 by Swift himself, from day to day, we have a minute 
 record in the "Journal to Stella." Parliament had met on 
 November 25, 1710. A vote of thanks to Marlborough 
 for the successes of the recent campaign was negatived. 
 General Cadogan, his favourite, was recalled from the 
 post of envoy to the Dutch Republic and succeeded by 
 Lord Orrery, an enemy of the duke. Three general 
 officers in Flanders, moreover, named Meredyth, Macart- 
 ney, and Honeywood, were cashiered for drinking damna- 
 tion to the Tory Government : " dressing up a hat on a 
 stick and calling it Harley ; then drinking a glass with 
 one hand and discharging a pistol with the other at the 
 manikin, wishing it were Harley himself! " ' 
 
 On December 28th Marlborough returned to England. 
 St. John had declared he was perfectly willing to act 
 cordially with him " if he would disengage himself from 
 the Whigs and put a stop to the rage and fury of his wife." 
 The latter task, unfortunately, was quite beyond the duke's 
 power. His calmness on the battle-field extorted the 
 admiration of every soldier of the time. Before his wife, 
 however, he trembled like a schoolboy " sent up " for 
 punishment. 
 
 Though not unfriendly to the duke, the ministry were 
 determined to remove the queen from the duchess's influ- 
 ence. The latter, who loved wealth and place as dearly 
 as her lord, held the three court offices of mistress of the 
 
 ' Journal, December 13, 1710. 
 
94 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 robes, keeper of the privy purse, and, rather strangely, 
 groom of the stole. To retain these posts for his wife the 
 Duke struggled with desperation. As soon as possible after 
 his arrival he had an interview with St. John. He lamented 
 his former wrong steps in joining the Whigs. He told 
 the secretary that he was worn out with age, fatigues, 
 and misfortunes. When taxed regarding his wife, he con- 
 fessed she had acted strangely. But, he pleaded, "A man 
 must bear with a good deal to be quiet at home." After 
 some negotiation the duchess offered, " if they would let 
 her keep her employments, never to come into the queen's 
 presence." ^ But the offer was too absurd to be accepted. 
 In vain did the duke, in an interview with the queen on 
 January 17, 1711, fall on his knees, and implore a con- 
 tinuance of the royal favour for his wife. Queen Anne 
 was thoroughly weary of the duchess's violence, and had 
 resolved once and for all to put a stop to it. With a re- 
 finement of cruelty she told Marlborough to go to his 
 wife and bring back the gold key which was the symbol of 
 her offices. In fear and trembling the duke crept home. 
 He entered his wife's room and told her of the failure of 
 his mission. Taking the key from her side the duchess 
 flung it on the floor and bade him carry it to whom he 
 pleased. 
 
 The duchess retired finally from court. Her offices of 
 mistress of the robes and groom of the stole were given 
 to the Duchess of Somerset ; the privy purse was en- 
 trusted to Mrs. Masham. Marlborough's own dismissal 
 was hourly expected. But the Tories were satisfied with 
 getting rid of the duchess ; the duke was allowed to 
 remain commander-in-chief, and on February 18, 1711, 
 he again returned to the seat of war. 
 
 " Journal, January 12, 1711, 
 
Political Activity. 
 
 95 
 
 Swift, writing in his Journal, declares he felt quite 
 sorry for the duke's troubles, and blames his friends for 
 being too hard upon him. This confession, however, 
 accords ill with his public behaviour.^ For the passages 
 in The, Examiner, in which Marlborough was at this time 
 mentioned, are specially noticeable for their virulence. 
 On November 23, 1710, Swift published a malignant dia- 
 tribe, in which an elaborate comparison was made between 
 the rewards obtained by the duke and those given to a 
 successful Roman general, as follows : — 
 
 A bill of Ro?nan gratitude. 
 
 £ s. 
 
 For frankincense and 
 
 d. 
 
 A bill of British ingi 
 Woodstock 
 
 ■atitude. 
 ^40,000 
 
 earthern pots to 
 
 
 
 Blenheim 
 
 200,000 
 
 burn it in 
 
 4 10 
 
 
 
 Post-office grant 
 
 100,000 
 
 A bull for sacrifice... 
 
 8 
 
 
 
 Mildenheim 
 
 30,000 
 
 An embroidered gar- 
 
 
 
 Pictures, jewels, &c. ... 
 
 60,000 
 
 ment 
 
 50 
 
 
 
 Pall Mall grant 
 
 10,000 
 
 A crown of laurel . . . 
 
 
 
 2 
 
 Employments 
 
 100,000' 
 
 A statue 
 
 100 
 
 
 
 
 
 A trophy 
 
 A thousand copper 
 medals, value half- 
 
 80 
 
 
 
 
 
 penny apiece 
 A triumphal arch ... 
 A triumphal car, 
 
 valued as a modern 
 
 2 I 
 500 . 
 
 8 
 
 
 
 
 coach 
 
 100 
 
 
 
 
 
 Casual charges of 
 
 
 
 
 
 triumph 
 
 150 
 
 
 
 Total 
 
 
 Total 
 
 £994 II 
 
 10 
 
 ;£54o,ooo 
 
 
 
 ' Journal, December 31, 1710, and January 7, 1711. 
 
 ° This is a gross exaggeration. The official emoluments of the 
 duke and duchess taken together, at the height of their power, 
 amounted to ;£S9,32S per annum. For the details see Stanhope's 
 " History of England," chap. i. 
 
96 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 The whole of Examiner, No. 21, published December 
 21, 17x0, is devoted to a commentary on Marlborough's 
 request to be made captain-general for life. Was not 
 this, Swift endeavours to show, a" deliberate attempt to 
 follow in the steps of Cromwell, and set up a military 
 despotism ? Examiner No. 28, published February 8, 
 1 71 1, i.e., a day after Swift noted in his diary that " I 
 think our friends press a little too hard on the Duke of 
 Marlborough," is the most malignant of all. Writing in 
 the classical style which he employed with such effect 
 against Lord Wharton, Swift indites an imaginary letter 
 to Crassus, the wealthiest and most avaricious of the 
 Romans. The analogy with Marlborough is carefully 
 observed throughout. 
 
 " To Marcus Crassus, health, — . . . You are the 
 richest person in the commonwealth ; you have no male 
 child ; your daughters are all married to wealthy patri- 
 cians ; you are far in the decline of life, and yet you are 
 deeply stained with that odious and ignoble vice of 
 covetousness. . . . Disguise your person, go among the 
 common people of Rome, introduce discourses about your- 
 self; inquire into your own character; do the same in 
 your camp; walk about in the evening; hearken at every 
 tent ; and if you do not hear every mouth censuring, 
 lamenting, cursing this vice in you, and even you for this 
 vice, conclude yourself innocent. . . ." Swift then goes 
 on to accuse Marlborough of refusing the terms of peace 
 offered by Louis in 1708, and of confining the war to the 
 Netherlands, solely and simply to fill his own pockets. 
 " They (the army) would have desired you to lead them 
 to the utmost limits of Asia (i.e., to hurry on the invasion 
 of France). But you rather chose to confine your con- 
 quests within the fruitful country of Mesopotamia (the 
 Netherlands), where plenty of money might be raised. 
 
Politic at Activity. ^7 
 
 How far that fatal greediness of gold may have influenced 
 you in breaking off the treaty with the old Parthian king 
 Orodes (Louis XIV.), you best can tell ; your enemies 
 charge you with it ; your friends offer nothing material in 
 your defence ; and all agree there is nothing so pernicious 
 which the extremes of avarice may not be able to inspire." 
 
 On coming into office the ministry had announced their 
 intention of carrying on the war with vigour in all 
 quarters, but especially in Spain ; such being the best 
 means of bringing France to terms. "^ Circumstances, how- 
 ever, soon forced them to give up this bold resolve. In 
 December, 17 lo, the allied forces in Spain suffered two 
 defeats at the hands of the French general, Vendome, at 
 Brihuega and Villa Viciosa. It was obvious that even 
 if the allied army in Flanders succeeded in forcing their 
 way to Paris they would never obtain Spain for the Arch- 
 duke Charles. The nation had long lost interest in the 
 war. So great was the need of peace for France, that 
 England could demand most favourable terms for herself 
 from the latter power. The enormous expense of the war 
 caused an annual deficit, which had to be made up by 
 loans ; and this could not go on for ever. 
 
 " We have nothing to save us but a peace," says Swift 
 as early as January 7, 1711. Before that date, however, the 
 ministry, without letting Swift into the secret, had opened 
 negotiations. There was then in England a certain Abbe 
 Gaultier, private chaplain to Marshal Tallard, the French 
 general taken prisoner at Blenheim in 1704. The ministry 
 resolved to employ him as a preliminary agent ; and armed 
 only with verbal instructions for greater security he left 
 
 " England's allies were Holland, Austria, Savoy, and the North 
 German States. They wished to obtain for the Archduke Charles of 
 Au^ria the Spanish dominions, which had been bequeathed by 
 Charles II. of Spain to Louis XIV.'s grandson, Philip, Duke of Anjou. 
 
98 Dean Swift ajid his Writings. 
 
 London early in Januarj'. He landed at Nieuport oft 
 January 15th, and travelled thence as quickly as possible to 
 Versailles, where he made known his object to the French 
 Government. A peace policy once resolved on, it re- 
 mained to make the idea familiar to the nation in general. 
 At a hint from St. John, The Examiner began to thunder 
 against the war. It was described as nothing but a 
 gigantic conspiracy, devised and maintained for the pur- 
 pose of keeping the Whigs in office. In No. 24, dated 
 January 11, 1711, Swift writes as follows: "It is not 
 obvious to conceive what could move men, who sat at 
 home, and were called to consult upon the good of the 
 kingdom, to be so utterly averse from putting an end to a 
 long and expensive war, which the victorious as well as 
 the conquered side were heartily weary of Few or none 
 of them were men of the sword ; they had no share in the 
 honour ; they had made large fortunes, and were at the 
 head of all affairs. But they well knew by what tenure 
 they held their power ; that the queen saw through their 
 designs ; that they had entirely lost the hearts of the 
 clergy ; that the landed men were against them ; that 
 they were detested by the body of the people ; and that 
 nothing bore them up but their credit with the bank and 
 other stocks, which would be neither formidable norneces- 
 sary when the war was at an end. For these reasons 
 they resolved to resist all overtures of a peace, ^ until they 
 and their party should be so deeply rooted as to make it 
 impossible to shake them." 
 
 It was obvious that this sudden change in foreign policy 
 would be bitterly opposed. But, fortunately for the minis- 
 try, an event now took place which raised Harley to the 
 highest point of popularity. On March 8, 1711, a French 
 renegade in the pay of the English Government, named 
 
 " Referring to the refusal of Louis' offers in 1706 and 1708. 
 
Political Activity. 99 
 
 Guiscard, was discovered in secret correspondence with 
 France. He was arrested and brought to Whitehall for 
 examination by the privy council. Maddened at an exposure 
 which meant utter ruin, the poor wretch suddenly drew a 
 penknife, which he had snatched up on his way to the 
 council chamber, rushed at Harley and stabbed him in 
 the breast. The prime minister fell to the ground. St. 
 John and the Duke of Newcastle drew their swords and 
 attacked the assassin, inflicting on him several severe 
 wounds before he could be secured by the attendants. 
 Harley's wound was not deep. Sarcastic Whig pamph- 
 leteers, indeed, stated that the prime minister's waistcoat 
 had suffered far more than his skin. But he was in bad 
 health, and the shpck of the assault for the time com- 
 pletely prostrated him. 
 
 Had Harley's danger been more severe, it would have 
 received ample compensation in the flood of popularity 
 which now poured down upon him. The English people 
 have ever had a deep horror of assassination. During 
 the week that Harley lay in danger his virtues were the 
 universal theme of conversation. The voice of detraction 
 was completely hushed. On April 13th Harley was able 
 to see visitors. He went for a short change of air to the 
 country, and on April 26th made his reappearance in the 
 House of Commons. Amidst the applause of the House 
 the speaker made him a long and elaborate address of 
 congratulation. Of the minister's popularity and success 
 there was now no doubt. His financial statement, brought 
 forward on May 2nd, was carried without .demur. On 
 May 24th he was created Earl of Oxford, and on May 29th 
 he was raised to the great dignity of lord treasurer. 
 Swift was delighted. " This man (Harley)," he writes, 
 " has grown by persecutions, turnings out, and stabbing. 
 What waiting, and crowding, and bowing there will be at 
 
100 Dean SiJotfi cirud his Writings. 
 
 his hvu ! Yet, if human nature be capable of so much 
 constancy, I should believe he will be the same man still, 
 bating the necessary forms of grandeur he must keep up." 
 The affair well brought out the sincere affection with 
 which Harley's simple character had inspired Swift. " My 
 heart is almost broken," he writes to Stella, on hearing 
 the news. Several times a day he goes to inquire after 
 the minister's progress. Stella must not expect to get 
 any long letters till Harley is out of danger. On March 
 I2th he writes : " We have been in terrible pain to-day 
 about Mr. Harley, who never slept last night, and has 
 been very feverish. But this evening I called there, and 
 young Mr. Harley (his only son) tells me he is now much 
 better, and was then asleep. They let nobody see him, and 
 that is perfectly right. . . . Pray God preserve him." On 
 April 13th Harley was able to see visitors. Swift, who 
 wi"ote a special account of the murderous attempt for the 
 general public, notes with special affection Harley's cool 
 demeanour throughout. " After the wound was given, he 
 (Mr. Harley) was observed neither to change his coun- 
 tenance nor discover any concern nor disorder in his 
 speech. . . . When the surgeon came, he took him aside 
 and desired he would inform him freely whether the wound 
 were mortal, because in that case, he said, he had some 
 affairs to settle relating to his family. The blade of the 
 penknife, broken by the violence of the blow against the 
 rib, within a quarter of an inch from the handle, was 
 dropped out (I know not whether from the wound or his 
 clothes) as the surgeon was going to dress him : he 
 ordered it to be taken up, and wiping it himself gave it to 
 somebody to keep, saying he thought it now properly 
 belonged to him. He showed no sort of resentment, nor 
 spoke one violent word against Guiscard, but appeared all 
 the while the least concerned of any in the company— a 
 
Political Activity, loi 
 
 state of mind which in such an exigency nothing but 
 innocence can give, and is truly woi^thy of a Christian 
 philosopher." ' 
 
 The immediate result of the attempt on Harley was to 
 give the ministry greatly increased confidence. 
 
 On May 3, 171 1, Lord Rochester, who held the office of 
 privy seal, died suddenl}'. After some delay he was suc- 
 ceeded in his post by the Bishop of Bristol. The nomina- 
 tion of an ecclesiastic to a political office excited great 
 surprise. Swift, who thought the days of Wolsey were 
 about to return, was in great glee. " The Bishop of 
 Bristol is made privy seal," he writes to Stella. " You 
 know his name is Robinson, and that he was many years 
 envoy in Sweden. AH the friends of the present ministry 
 are extreme glad, and the clergy above the rest. The 
 Whigs will fret to death to see a civil employment given 
 to a clergyman. It was a very handsome thing in my 
 lord treasure!-, and will bind the Church to him for ever." 
 
 By the end of April, 1711, the French and English 
 Governments had agreed to open negotiations for peace. 
 In June Matthew Prior was secretly despatched to Paris 
 with short instructions, signed by the queen herself. A 
 preliminary agreement was arranged after some discus- 
 sion ; and by the end of August Prior returned accom- 
 panied by a French agent, M. Mesnager, with full power 
 to sign the articles on behalf of the French king. Of this 
 negotiation Swift was kept entirely ignorant. On landing 
 at Dover, however, Prior was arrested by mistake as a 
 smuggler, and forced to reveal his name. 
 
 Suspicion of the ministerial designs had long existed, 
 and a tremendous outcry now arose. Prior was Boling- 
 broke's intimate friend. His journey to France must 
 therefore have had only one object. Immediately the 
 
 ' Examiner, No. 33, March 15, 171 1. 
 
I02 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 Whig press poured forth a flood of pamphlets on the 
 subject. The most minute details were given of Prior's 
 journey from London to Paris. His very conversations 
 with the French king, with Madame de Maintenon, with 
 M. de Torcy, were reported to the letter. Swift promptly 
 retaliated by an amusing little tract, entitled, "A New 
 Journey to Paris; together with some Secret Transactions 
 between the French King and an English Gentleman." 
 A pure invention from beginning to end it purported to be 
 a translation from the French of M. de Baudrier, Prior's 
 secretary. Written in an ironical style it was intended 
 to ridicule the portentous Whig diatribes. The circum- 
 stantial details given by the latter are burlesqued with 
 exquisite fidelity. In a solemn preface Swift points out 
 that M. de Baudrier seems to have been only a valet, not 
 a secretary. He was not, therefore, completely in his 
 master's secrets. In compensation, however, he informs 
 the reader of many important particulars which a person of 
 -more consequence would not have noticed. The author 
 begins by describing with extraordinary minuteness the 
 manner of Mr. Prior's journey from London to Boulogne. 
 At the latter place he met the French minister, M. de 
 Torcy, who was staying, under the assumed name of M. 
 de la Bastide, " at a private house in the Fauxbourgs . . . 
 over against the Hotellerie St. Jean." Various con- 
 ferences were held at Boulogne, and on Sunday, July i8th, 
 the two plenipotentiaries set out for Paris. " A small 
 valise, which -I suppose contained Mr. Prior's instructions, 
 he was pleased to trust to my care, to carry on horseback ; 
 which trust I discharged with the utmost faithfulness. 
 Somewhere above two leagues from Boulogne, at a small 
 village called Neile, the axletree broke, which took us 
 two hours to mend ; we waited at Montreuil^ and lay that 
 night at Abbeville. But I shall not give you any detail 
 

Political Activity. 103 
 
 of our journey, which passed without any considerable 
 accident till we arrived within four leagues of Paris ; 
 when, about three in the afternoon, two cavaliers, well 
 mounted, and armed with pistols, crossed the road, 
 then turned short, and rode up briskly to the chaise, 
 commanding the coachman to stop. M. de la Bastide's 
 two attendants were immediately up with them ; but I, 
 who guessed at the importance of the charge that 
 Monsieur Prior had entrusted me with, though I was in 
 no fear for my own person, thought it most prudent to 
 advance with what speed I could to a small village, about 
 a quarter of a league forward, to wait the event. I soon 
 observed the chaise come on without any disturbance, 
 and I ventured to meet it ; when I found that it was only 
 a frolic of two young cadets of quality, who had been 
 making a debauch at a friend's house hard by, and were 
 returning to Paris ; one of them was not unknown to M. 
 de la Bastide. The two cavaliers began to rally me, said 
 ' I knew how to make a retreat,' with some other 
 pleasantries ; but Monsieur Prior (who knew the cause) 
 highly commended my discretion. We continued our 
 journey very merrily, and arrived at Paris on Tuesday, 
 the 2Dth, in the cool of the evening." On the following 
 day the party go to Versailles. Monsieur Prior has an 
 audience of the king and Madame de Maintenon. They 
 spend the evening at a house in the neighbourhood. "The 
 house being small,", says the narrator, "my apartment 
 was divided from Mr. Prior's by a thin wainscot, so that 
 I could easily hear what they said when they raised their 
 voice, as they often did. After some time I could hear 
 Monsieur de la Bastide say, with great warmth, ' Bon 
 dieu ! Were ever such demands made to a great mon- 
 arch, unless you were at the gates of his metropolis ? ' 
 . . . Monsieur Prior, who has a low voice, and had not 
 
104 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 that occasion for passion, answered so softly that I could 
 not well understand him ; but upon parting I heard him 
 say, ' If you insist still on these difficulties, my next 
 audience will be that of leave 1 ' Like the detective in a 
 melodrama, M. de Baudrier next listens outside the garden 
 of the Royal Palace. He hears the king say, ' Consider 
 this night on what we have said to you.' To which 
 Prior answers, ' Sir, all or nothing, as I have had the 
 honour to tell your Majesty before.'" The cry of the 
 Whigs that France was reduced to ruin and that one 
 more campaign would complete her downfall, is ex- 
 quisitely parodied. As they drive away from Paris " a 
 comely person about fifty," all in rags, but with a mien 
 that showed him to be of a good house, cried, " Sir, for 
 the love of God, give something to the Marquis de 
 Sourdis ! " Prior exclaims that if the marquises are 
 reduced to beggary, the miseries of France must be indeed 
 great ! This jeu d'esprit proved too subtle for English 
 wits. Even Prior himself was tricked. He thought it 
 another Whig libel, and called on the Government to put 
 a stop to such outrages. This, however, only increased 
 Swift's delight, who Constantly chuckles over the subject 
 in his "Journal to Stella." 
 
 On September 27th, eight preliminary articles of peace 
 between England and France were signed in London by 
 M. Mesnager and the English ministers. The matter 
 had to be made public now, and, as might have been 
 expected, excited a universal storm. The Dutch envoys 
 protested that their country would be delivered up bound 
 into the hands of France. The Austrian ambassador, 
 Count Gallas, raged so furiously that he was forbidden to 
 appear at court. The whole Whig party raised the cry 
 of treason, Jacobitism, and surrender to our enemies 1 
 
 JJovember 17th, th? anniversary of Queen Elizabeth's 
 
Political Activity. 105 
 
 accession, was wont at this time to be kept as a great 
 national and Protestant festival. This year it was 
 resolved to celebrate it with unusual tumult, as a sort of 
 protest against the peace policy of the ministers. Large 
 sums had been subscribed by the Whig leaders, and an 
 attack on the private residences of Harley and St. 
 John was openly threatened.^ Before it could come off, 
 however, the police made a raid on the office where 
 preparations for the affair were being made. They carried 
 off all the paraphernalia, including figures of " Pregnant 
 nuns " ; " Fat friars in their habits," streamers carried 
 over their heads, with these words, " Eat and Pray " ; 
 and " the Pope under a magnificent canopy, accom- 
 panied by the Chevalier de St. George ^ on the left, and 
 his counsellor the Devil on his right." The latter figure 
 was made up to resemble Harley. A loud protest came 
 from the Whigs, but the Government called out the troops 
 and suppressed any attempt at disorder with a firm hand. 
 With parliament the ministry had yet to reckon. In 
 the Commons the opposition was in a hopeless minority. 
 They resolved therefore to concentrate their efforts on 
 the House of Lords, where parties were much more 
 evenly balanced. Circumstances, moreover, specially 
 favoured the Whig prospects in this chamber. Lord 
 Nottingham, a Tory, had been bitterly disgusted at his 
 non-appointment to the office of privy seal on Lord 
 Rochester's death. Resolved to be revenged he now 
 made overtures to the Whigs, and after a long negotiation 
 an arrangement was come to which throws curious light 
 on the political morality of the time. Nottingham and 
 some of his friends agreed to vote against the peace ; in 
 
 ' Journal, November 17, 171 1. 
 
 = Name given to James Stuart, son of James II., and pretender to 
 tjie English Crown. }Ie was then resident in France. 
 
io6 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 return, the Whig peers agreed to support Nottingham's 
 pet measure, the Act against Occasional Conformity. 
 
 Besides Nottingham, the Whigs succeeded in winning 
 over the Duke of Somerset, who held the post of master 
 of the horse. This was an important secession, for the 
 Duchess of Somerset by her place at court enjoyed great 
 influence over the queen, and a court intrigue was at that 
 time of more moment than a general election. 
 
 On December 7th parliament met. The Queen's 
 Speech mentioned with approval that a final treaty of 
 peace with France was on the point of completion, 
 " notwithstanding the arts of those who delight in war." 
 An amendment to the Address in the Commons moved 
 by Sir Robert Walpole was rejected by 232 to 106. In the 
 Peers, though Anne herself was present, a long and fierce 
 debate ensued. Lord Nottingham opened the attack on 
 the Government in a bitter speech, and ended by prijposing 
 an amendment to the effect " that no peace could be safe 
 or honourable to Great Britain or Europe if Spain and the 
 West Indies were allotted to any branch of the house of 
 Bourbon." The chief Whig Lords followed him with 
 great effect. Besides Somerset, the Duke of Shrewsbury, 
 who held the post of lord chamberlain, declared against 
 the Government. But the House was hushed in expecta- 
 tion when Marlborough, who had returned from the seat of 
 war a fortnight ago, arose to state his opinion. The duke 
 had long looked forward with dread to the time when he 
 must definitely declare for peace or war. But his 
 identification with the Whig hostility to France had been 
 too complete to allow of his adhesion to the Tories on the 
 present occasion. After a short statement that the terms 
 of peace suggested by the ministry were neither satis- 
 factory nor honourable, he solemnly signified his assent 
 to Nottingham's amendment. On a division bein"' 
 
Political Activity. 107 
 
 taken, the Government was defeated by a majority of 
 eight."^ 
 
 The immediate result of this defeat was to inspire the 
 ministry with the utmost consternation. Their power 
 rested largely on court influence, and the suspicion at 
 once arose that the fickle queen was veering round to the 
 Whigs. Swift especially was in grave alarm. He had 
 spent the day with Mr. St. John. Having heard the news 
 of the debate in the Lords, he went on the morning of 
 December 8th to Mrs. Masham. " She had heard nothing 
 of the thing being gone against us. It seems lord 
 treasurer had been so negligent, that he was with the 
 queen while the question was put in the House. I 
 immediately told Mrs. Masham that either she and lord 
 treasurer had joined with the queen to betray us, or 
 that they two were betrayed by the queen : she protested 
 solemnly that it was not the former, and I believed her ; 
 but she gave me some lights to suspect the queen is 
 changed. For, yesterday, when the queen was going- 
 from the House, where she sat to hear the debate, the 
 Duke of Shrewsbury, lord chamberlain, asked her, 
 ' Whether he or the great chamberlain Lindsay ought to 
 lead her out ? ' She answered short, ' Neither of you,' and 
 gave her hand to the Duke of Somerset, who was louder 
 Ihan any in the House for the clause against the peace. 
 She gave me one or two more instances of this sort, 
 \vhich convince me that the queen is false, or at least 
 very m-uch wavering. Mr. Masham "^ begged us to stay, 
 because lord treasurer would call, and we were resolved 
 to fall on him about his negligence in securing a majority. 
 He came and appeared in good humour as usual, but I 
 thought his countenance was much cast down. I rallied 
 
 ' The numbers were 62 to 54. 
 
 ^ Created Lord Masham, December 31, 171 1. 
 
io8 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 him, and desired him to give me his staff, which he did ; 
 I told him if he would secure it me a week I would set all 
 right; he asked. How? I said I would immediately turn 
 Lord Marlborough, his two daughters, the Duke and 
 Duchess of Somerset, and Lord Cholmondeley, out of all 
 their employments ; and I believe he had not a friend but 
 was of my opinion. Dr. Arbuthnot asked how he came 
 not to secure a majority? He could answer nothing, but 
 that he could not help if if people would lie and forswear. 
 A poor answer for a great minister . . . The Whigs are 
 all in triumph ; they foretold how all this would be, but 
 we thought it boasting. Nay, they said the parliament 
 should be dissolved before Christmas, and perhaps it 
 may : this is all your damned Duchess of Somerset's 
 doings. I warned them of it nine months ago, and a 
 hundred times since : the secretary always dreaded it. I 
 told lord treasurer I should have the advantage of him ; 
 for he would lose his head, and I should only be hanged, 
 and so carry my body entire to the grave." ^ 
 
 Swift's Journal for the ne.xt few days rings with 
 prophecies of the coming Tory downfall. He repeats 
 his statement that the queen is false. Those " scoundrel, 
 starving lords " would never have dared to vote as they 
 did, had they not known that it would please her. Some 
 declared the ministry would be dismissed in a week; 
 others at the end of the session : all agreed that its doom 
 was fixed. At one time, Swift thinks of hurrying back 
 to the seclusion of Laracor, saying, Hke Wolsey : — 
 
 " A weak old man, batter'd with storms of state. 
 Is come to lay his weary bones among you." 
 
 At another, he begs the secretary to find him some 
 
 ' Journal, December 8, 171 1. 
 
Political Activity, 109 
 
 appointment abroad before the hourly expected change. 
 " I should hardly trust myself," he says, " to the mercy 
 of my enemies while their anger is fresh." 
 
 Yet in the midst of these alarms the Earl of Oxford 
 remained calm ; and within a fortnight of the eventful 
 debate it became evident that all would still be well. Such 
 a result was largely due to the desperate energy of Swift 
 himself. During the months of October and November 
 he had been busy with " The Conduct of the Allies," a 
 long political pamphlet on behalf of the peace. Pub- 
 lished on November 27th, by December i8th it had 
 reached a fifth edition, and its effect was seen in a wide 
 increase of public sympathy with the ministers. 
 / "The Conduct of the Allies" has none of the command- 
 ing eloquence, the high-souled passion, the philosophic 
 wisdom which has made the errors of Burke more 
 valuable than the truths of ordinary men. But for 
 clearness of style and lucidity of argument it stands 
 pre-eminent in political literature. Appealing solely toi 
 the reason Swift points out : i. That we have engaged as' 
 principals in war when we should have acted only as 
 auxiliaries, a. That we spent all our vigour in pursuing 
 that part of the war which could least answer the end we 
 proposed by beginning it ; and made no efforts at all 
 where we could have most weakened the common enemy, 
 and at the same time enriched ourselves. 3. That we 
 suffered each of our allies, more especially Holland and 
 Austria, to break every article in the treaties by which 
 they were bound, and to lay all the real burden upon 
 ourselves. 
 
 The third count is far the most effective part of the 
 whole indictment. With a simple calmness characteristic 
 of the bench rather than the bar. Swift enumerates in 
 detail the frauds practised on England by her allies. On 
 
no Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 national sentiment as such no stress is laid. The conduct 
 of the allies is merely held up for examination and shown, 
 piece by piece, to be a complete nullification of their own 
 promises. The quotations from existing treaties are 
 frequent and apposite, and not a single point is brought 
 forward which may not be proved or disproved by chapter 
 and verse. Even in those passages in which reference 
 to principle is impossible to avoid, Swift's tone is that of 
 a. judge sternly commenting on the private conduct of 
 some party to a suit. He repeats his statement made in 
 The. Examiner, that this continual craving for war against 
 France has something more than national differences 
 behind it. In other words, it is to a great extent a party 
 move devised by the Whigs for their own special benefit. 
 In the reign of William of Orange, he declares, the plan 
 of carrying on war by means of a national debt was first 
 started. The object of this was "to create a moneyed 
 interest, that might in time vie with the landed 
 interest, and of which the Whigs hoped to become the 
 head." The Spanish succession war is merely a repetition 
 of the old trickery ; and its long duration has been 
 due " to the mutual indulgence between our general 
 (Marlborough) and the allies, wherein they both well 
 found their accounts ; to the fears of the money-changers, 
 lest their tables should be overthrown ; to the designs of 
 the Whigs, who apprehended the loss of their credit and 
 employments in a piece ; and to those at home, who held 
 their immoderate engrossments of power and favour by no 
 other tenure than their own presumption upon the 
 necessity of affairs." 
 
 The one brilliant passage in the pamphlet is intended 
 as a counterblast to the cry against peace. Again Swift 
 cleverly appeals from a political party to the nation at 
 large : " It is the folly of too many to mistake the echo of 
 
Political Activity. 1 1 1 
 
 a London coffee-house for the voice of the kingdom. The 
 city coffee-houses have been for some j'ears filled with 
 people whose fortunes depend upon the Bank, East India, 
 or some other stock. Every new fund to these is like a 
 new mortgage to a usurer, whose compassion for a young 
 heir is exactly the same with that of a stock-jobber to the 
 landed gentry. At the court end of the town the like 
 places of resort are frequented either by men out of place, 
 and consequently enemies to the present ministry, or by 
 officers of the army; no wonder, then, if the general cry in 
 all such meetings be against any peace, either with Spain 
 or without, which in other words is no more than this, 
 that discontented men desire another change of ministry; 
 that soldiers would be glad to keep their commissions ; 
 and that the creditors have money still, and would have 
 the debtors borrow on at the old extorting rate while they 
 have any security." 
 
 Regarding the resolution of the Tory Government to 
 allow the Duke of Anjou to remain King of Spain, he 
 shows that this is rendered necessary by military reasons. 
 As to the possibility of future union between the Bourbon 
 powers, he points out that identity of blood is by no means 
 s3'nonymous with community of interest. The only 
 alternative, moreover, is to win Spain for the Emperor 
 Charles VI.' The latter already owns the hereditary 
 Austrian States, and the addition of Spain will utterly 
 destroy the balance of power in Europe. Lastly, he lays 
 great stress on the magnificent territorial and commercial 
 advantages secured to England by the articles of peace. 
 . In conclusion he remarks: "The common question is: 
 
 ' The Archduke Charles of Austria, claimant to the Spanish 
 dominions in opposition to the Bourbon Duke of Anjou, succeeded 
 to his brother, the Emperor Joseph's, possessions and dignities in 
 April, 1711. 
 
1 1 2 Dean Swift and his Writings, 
 
 If we must surrender Spain, what have we been fighting 
 for all this while ? The answer is ready : We have been 
 fighting for the ruin of the public interest and the 
 advancement of a private. We have been fighting to 
 raise the wealth and grandeur of a particular family, to 
 enrich usurers and stock-jobbers, and to cultivate the 
 pernicious designs of a faction by destroying the landed 
 interest. The nation begins now to think these blessings 
 are not worth fighting for any longer, and therefore 
 desires a peace._^ 
 
 " The Conduct of the Allies " by no means exhausted 
 Swift's energies at this period. Hardly a day passed with- 
 out some ballad, tract, or parable against his enemies. Lord 
 Nottingham's gaunt figure, gloomy face, and depressing 
 manner had earned him the nickname of " Dismal" ; and 
 a few days after the debate of December 7th, Swift 
 issued a ballad against him, written in true Grub Street 
 style. 
 
 The introduction begins : — 
 
 " An orator dismal of NottinghamsMre, 
 Who has forty years let out his conscience to hire. 
 Out of zeal for his country and want of a place, 
 Is come up, vi et armis, to break the queen's peace." 
 
 Then follows a burlesque of the speech : — 
 
 "Whereas notwithstanding I am in great pain, 
 To hear we are making a peace without Spain ; 
 But most noble senators, 'tis a great shame, 
 There should be a peace, whilst I'm Not-in-game. ^' 
 
 The orator then ingenuously explains the reasons of 
 his conversion : — 
 
Political Activity. 1 1 3 
 
 " The duke ' show'd me all his fine house ; and the duchess 
 From her closet brought out a full purse in her clutches. 
 
 My long old-fashioned pocket was presently crammed, 
 And sooner than vote for a peace I'll be damned ! " 
 
 He then goes on to curse the Tories for not appointing 
 him to office, and concludes : — 
 
 " Since the Tories have thus disappointed my hopes, 
 And will neither regard my figures nor tropes, 
 I'll speech against peace while Dismal's my name. 
 And be a true Whig while I'm Not-in-game" 
 
 Lord Nottingham soon heard of the speech, and com- 
 plained of it in the House of Lords as a breach of 
 privilege. This, however, made little difference to Swift, 
 who, assisted by a crowd of agents — " under-spurleathers " 
 or " hang-dogs " he styled them — continued the paper 
 war with unbroken pertinacity. 
 
 His next effusion, written on December 25rd, and 
 styled " The Windsor Prophecy " was directed against 
 the Duchess of Somerset. On consideration, the 
 Government decided against its publication, but not 
 before a number of copies had been handed about. The 
 prophecy purports to be a transcript from a manuscript 
 two hundred years old, recently discovered at Windsor. 
 
 It begins by foretelling the day when, after a long and 
 needless war, England is about to enter upon the blessings 
 of peace : — 
 
 " Then shall the tail, black, Daventry bird 
 Speak against peace right many a word ; 
 And some shall admire his conyng wit, 
 For many good groats his tongue shall slit." 
 
 ' I.e., the Duke of Marlborough. 
 9 
 
114 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 The " tall, black, Daventry bird " is Lord Nottingham, 
 whose family name was Finch. 
 The poem then goes on : — 
 
 "But spite of the Harpy that crawls on all four, 
 There shall be peace, pardie, and war no more, 
 But England must cry alack and well-a-day. 
 If the stick be taken from the dead sea. 
 And, dear England, if ought I imderstond. 
 Beware of Carrots from Northumberlond j 
 Carrots sown Thynyte a deep root may get. 
 If so be they are in Somer set ; 
 Their Coiiyngs mark thou ; for I have been told 
 They assassine when young, axiA poison when old." 
 
 " Root out these Carrots, O thou whose name 
 Is backwards axidi forwards always the same. 
 And keep close to thee always that name, 
 Which backwards zxvA. forwards is almost the same. 
 And, England, wouldst thou be happy still, 
 Bury those Carrots under a Hill." 
 
 The explanation of these mystic words is as follows : 
 The Harpy is the Duke of Marlborough. The stick is 
 the lord treasurer's staff, then in the hands of Lord 
 Oxford, whose second title. Baron Mortimer, lends itself 
 to the punning translation "dead sea" {morte mer). Carrots 
 is the Duchess of Somerset, who had red hair. She is. 
 described as " a most insinuating woman," at heart a 
 Whig; and the Tories were having the same anxiety of 
 her influence as they had had in the case of the Duchess 
 of Marlborough. Daughter and heiress of the great 
 Earl Percy of Northumberland, she was first married, 
 in her fourteenth year, to Lord Ogle. He died in 1680, 
 and in 1681 she married Thomas Thynne of Longleat. 
 In February, 1682, Thynne was assassinated by the agents 
 of Count Konigsmarck, (" their Conyngs mark thou "), who 
 
Political Activity, 115 
 
 had been very intimate with Lady Ogle up to her second 
 marriage. Swift here charges her with being privy to 
 Tliynne's murder. The Duke of Somerset was her third 
 husband. 
 
 The name which is the same either way is of course 
 ANNA — i.e., Queen Anne. That which is almost the same 
 either way is MASHAM — i.e., Mrs. Masham, formerly 
 Abigail Hill. The whole purport of the advice con- 
 tained in the prophecy is to the effect that Anne must 
 keep Harley in pfQce, expel the Duchess of Somerset 
 from court, and take Mrs. Masham into her exclusive 
 favour. 
 
 By the end of December the ministry had recovered from 
 their panic. The bulk of the people were as strongly as 
 ever on their side. Their suspicions of Anne's fidelity were 
 found to be groundless. They resolved, therefore, to enter 
 boldly upon a policy of punishment and proscription. 
 The first victim was Marlborough. That eminent man's 
 weakness for money had already placed in his enemies' 
 hands a weapon of terrible efficacy. It had been dis- 
 covered that during the last ten years Marlborough had 
 been in the regular receipt of heavy bribes from Sir 
 Solomon Medina, a Jewish contractor who supplied the 
 army with bread. The duke's gains from this source 
 alone amounted to £63,000. But this was nothing to a 
 further sum of £177,000, consisting of a deduction of 
 2,\ per cent, on the foreign subsidies paid by England, and 
 transmitted to the duke, "for extraordinary and con- 
 -tingent expenses." Of these expenses no explanation was 
 forthcoming; and it was declared that the money had 
 been safely invested by the duke's own lawyers for the 
 duke's own benefit. 
 
 These charges were definitely formulated on Decem- 
 ber 21, 1711. Ten days later the duke was dismissed 
 
1 1 6 Dean Swift and Ms Writings. 
 
 from all his appointments. Again there was an oUtcry 
 from the Whigs at the removal, with war actually going 
 on, of an able, patriotic, and trustworthy leader. At 
 Whig suggestion, Prince Eugene, general of our Austrian 
 allies, hurried over to England. He arrived on January 6, 
 1712, and in several interviews with the queen pointed 
 out the iniquity and injustice of the Tory policy. This 
 availed nothing. On the reassembling of parliament after 
 the Christmas recess, the charges against Marlborough 
 were fully gone into. The duke declared that the bread 
 money had been used for the purpose of obtaining secret 
 information of the enemy's designs. The percentage on 
 foreign subsidies, he said, was a free gift from the princes 
 to whom these subsidies were paid. His plea availed 
 nothing — a decision, it should however be stated, due not 
 so much to the weakness of his cause as to the animosity 
 of his judges. The Duke of Ormond was appointed 
 Marlborough's successor as commander-in-chief. The 
 downfall of the latter, as might have been expected, was 
 regarded as a tremendous triumph by the Tory party. 
 All Grub Street was hired to hound him down ; Swift 
 himself joining in the cry with a broad-sheet entitled 
 "The Fable of Midas." In this not very clever effusion 
 he described the fate of Midas of old, with a side reference 
 to Marlborough. Asking for the power of turning every- 
 thing into gold, Midas found himself liable to starve as all 
 he touched turned into the precious but unsustaining 
 metal. Complaining of his lot, he is freed from it, but in 
 punishment receives a pair of ass's ears. The poem 
 concludes : — 
 
 " While he his utmost strength apphed. 
 To swim against this popular tide. 
 The golden spoils flew off apace ; 
 Here fell a pension, there a place ; 
 
Political Activity. \ 1 7 
 
 The torrent merciless imbibes 
 
 Commissions, perquisites, and bribes, 
 
 By their own weight sink to the bottom ; 
 
 Much good may't do them that have caught 'em ; 
 
 And Midas now neglected stands, 
 
 With ass's ears and dirty hands."' 
 
 The Duke of Somerset after a short delay was then 
 deprived of his post of master of the horse. His wife, 
 contrary to Swift's advice, was allowed to retain her court 
 offices. The Duke of Shrewsbury made his peace with 
 the ministry and was gazetted to the lord lieutenancy of 
 Ireland. To the smaller fry scant mercy was shown, and, 
 as Swift put it, there was " a sweep of employments." 
 Not content with this, the Government carried the war 
 into the very heart of the enemy's stronghold. Robert 
 Walpole, then a rising light of the Whig party, accused 
 and condemned of malversation while secretar3'-at-war, 
 was committed to the Tower. Protests were useless, for 
 the Government had, on the last day of 1711, prevailed 
 on the queen to create twelve Tory peers, by which all 
 opposition in the Upper House was effectually crushed. 
 
 Negotiations with France were rapidly pushed on during 
 the first five months of 1712. On June 6th, the proposed 
 terms of peace were communicated to parliament and ap- 
 proved in both Houses by large majorities. On June 21st, 
 parliament adjourned. On July 8th, St. John, who had 
 long chafed at Harley's elevation, unwisely accepted a 
 peerage under the title of Lord Bolingbroke, and was 
 despatched to France to complete the final treaty. 
 
 Swift during the last few months had been less busy. 
 In May, he wrote a little appeal to the Moderate Whigs 
 entitled, " Some reasons to show that no one is obliged 
 
 " Yet Swift writes in the Journal, January 8, 1712 : " Now he 
 (Marlborough) is down, I shall not trample upon him ; although I 
 love him not, I dislike his being out." 
 
Ii8 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 by his principles as a Whig to oppose the present Govern- 
 ment." On July 19th appeared a burlesque " Letter 
 from the Pretender to a Whig Lord " ; in the latter pro- 
 duction, the Pretender thanked Lord Wharton and his 
 colleagues for their support, and promised them full 
 reward on his restoration. On July 17th Swift writes to 
 Stella: "PDFR" {i.e.. Swift himself) " has writ five or 
 six Grub Street papers this last week. Have you seen 
 ' Toland's Invitation to Dismal,' or ' Hue and Cry after 
 Dismal,' or 'Ballad on Dunkirk,' or 'Agreement that 
 Dunkirk is not in our hands ' ? " Most pamphlets of this 
 time, however, though inspired by Swift, were the work 
 of his coadjutors. The best known of these was a lady 
 of adventurous antecedents and easy virtue named 
 Catherine Manley, the earnest patronage of whom by 
 Swift was much commented on by frivolous critics." 
 
 But the pamphlet warfare was losing its vitality. 
 Early in 1712 the Government, alarmed at the vast quantity 
 of libels against themselves, had imposed a halfpenny 
 stamp duty on all newspapers. This was a terrible blow 
 to the smaller pamphleteers. 
 
 " Grub Street has but ten days to live," writes Swift on 
 
 I Journal to Stella, July 3, 171 1 : "Lord Peterborough desired to 
 see me this morning at nine. I met Mrs. Manley there, who was 
 soliciting him to get some pension or reward for her service to the 
 cause by writing her ' Atalantis,' and her prosecution upon it. I 
 seconded her, and hope they will do something for the poor woman." 
 The "Atalantis" is the most malignant pamphlet of the time. It 
 accuses the chief Whig ladies of grave immorality, much space, for 
 instance, being occupied by the description of an amour between the 
 Duchess of Marlborough and Lord Godolphin. Among Mrs. Manley'? 
 other tracts are : " An Account of Guiscard's attempt on Harley " ; "A 
 Comment on Doctor Hare's Sermon (pi-eached against the peace) ; " 
 and an ironical " Vindication of the Duke of Marlborough." Mrs. 
 Manley was at this time in bad health from dropsy, and is described 
 as being " about forty, very homely, and very fat." 
 
Political Activity. 1 1 9 
 
 July igtb. A little later he moralises on its fall: "Do 
 you know that Grub Street is dead and gone last week ? 
 No more ghosts or murders now for love or money. I 
 plied it pretty close the last fortnight, and published at 
 least seven penny papers of my own, besides some of 
 other people's ; but now every single half-sheet pays a 
 halfpenny to the queen." It would seem, on the whole, 
 that the new stamp duty was not much liked by Swift. 
 
 On November 15, 1712, Swift relates that while he was 
 sitting with the lord treasurer there vi^as brought into 
 the room a mysterious band-box. Gentlemen in Queen 
 Anne's days were not wont to have their articles of 
 apparel sent home in such specially feminine enclosures ; 
 for which reason grave suspicion arose as to the contents 
 of the band-box. Swift, opening it with much trepidation, 
 discovered therein two ink-horns filled with gunpowder 
 and bullets ! He was astonished at his own bravery in 
 exposing and warding off this infernal machine. " I 
 wonder how I came to have so much presence of mind 
 which is usually not my talent ; but so it pleased God, 
 and I saved myself and lord treasurer." Swift had an 
 account of this horrid plot specially printed and published. 
 But there was an irreverent spirit abroad, and a universal 
 roar of laughter greeted this second attempt to rnurder 
 the heaven-sent prime minister; some impudent persons 
 going so far as to assert that Swift had packed and sent 
 the band-box himself, so as to obtain the chance of 
 figuring in attitude heroic. 
 
 Swift's intimacy with the ministers continued as close 
 as ever. Knowledge of this fact caused him to be much 
 pestered by office-hunters, to whom his fondness for the 
 character of patron rendered him an easy prey. " I 
 lodge up two pairs of stairs," he writes to Stella, " and 
 have but one room, and deny myself to everybody almost* 
 
120 Dean Swift and his Writings, 
 
 yet I cannot be quiet ; and all my mornings are lost with 
 people who will not take answers below stairs," On 
 March 17, 1712, we read that Dr. Sacheverel " came this 
 morning to give me thanks for getting his brother an 
 employment. It was but six or seven weeks since I spoke 
 to lord treasurer about him. Sacheverel brought Trap 
 along with him." Gratitude in this case was literally 
 a sense of favours to come, for on July 17, 1712, Swift 
 notes in the Journal, " I have made Trap chaplain to 
 Lord Bolingbroke." Some of these applicants had 
 singular requests, as, for instance, on February 8, 17 12 : 
 " This morning a scoundrel dog, one of the queen's music, 
 a German, whom I had never seen, got access to me in 
 my chamber by Patrick's" (Swift's servant) "folly, and 
 gravely desired me to get an employment in the customs 
 for a friend of his who would be very grateful, and like- 
 wise to forward a project of his own for raising ten 
 thousand pounds a year upon operas. I used him civiller 
 than he deserved, but it vexed me to the pluck. He was 
 told I had a mighty interest with lord treasurer, and 
 one word of mine, &c.i &c." But besides these smaller 
 men, members of the Government employed him to 
 press their demands on the prime minister. January 8, 
 1713 : "The Duke of Ormond employed me to speak 
 to lord treasurer to-day about an affair, and I did so, 
 and the duke spoke himself two hours before, which 
 vexed me, and I will chide the duke about it. I'll tell 
 you a good thing : there is not one of the ministry 
 but what will employ me as gravely to speak for them to 
 lord treasurer as if I were their brother or his ; and I 
 do it as gravely, though I know they do it only because 
 they will not make themselves uneasy, or had rather I 
 should be denied than they." 
 
 The congratulations Swift received on his services 
 
Political Activity. 121 
 
 were such as might have well satisfied a far prouder 
 man. A few extracts from the " Journal to Stella " 
 will show how vastly his position now differed from 
 what it had been as Temple's secretary, or even Lord 
 Berkeley's chaplain. It is curious to note the intense 
 satisfaction with which he refers to any instance of 
 deference paid him by the great. 
 
 February 4, 1712. — " The House of Commons have this 
 day made many severe votes about our being abused by 
 our allies. Those who spoke drew all their arguments 
 from my book,' and their votes confirm all I writ ; the 
 court had a majority of 150; all agree that it was my 
 book that spirited them to these resolutions." 
 
 December 21, 1713. — "This day se'nnight, after I had 
 been talking at court with Sir William Wyndham, the 
 Spanish ambassador came to him, and said he heard that 
 was Doctor Swift, and desired him to tell me that his 
 master, and the King of France, and the queen, were more 
 obliged to me than any in Europe ; so we bowed and 
 shook hands, &c. I took it very well of him." 
 
 December 23rd. — " I dined with (lord treasurer), and 
 Monteleon, the Spanish ambassador, who made me many 
 compliments." 
 
 While the Tories praised Swift as their saviour, the 
 Whigs joined together in cursing him as the chief author of 
 their downfall. Marlborough, indeed, regarded him with 
 special hatred, and a rumour was at one time prevalent 
 that the duke had brought an action for libel against him 
 in which the damages were laid at ^20,000. The printer 
 of " The Conduct of the Allies " was arrested and bound 
 over by Chief Justice Parker. Swift, however, strong in 
 Government support, escaped unscathed. Swift always 
 deprecated the fury of the Whigs against him. As to 
 ' " The Conduct of the Allies." 
 
122 Dean Swifi and his Writings. 
 
 Marlborough, he declared that he had often struck out 
 violent passages from pamphlets written against that 
 great man by Tory understrappers. If so, it is a pity no 
 specimens of these expurgations have been preserved. 
 As to his old Whig friends, Swift again and again com- 
 plains that he had done his best for them : " Steele I 
 have kept in his place ; Congreve I have got to be used 
 kindly, and secured ; Rowe I have recommended, and 
 got a promise of a place ; Philips I should certainly have 
 provided for, if he had not run party mad, and made me 
 withdraw my recommendations ; and I set Addison so 
 right at first, that he might have been employed, and have 
 partly secured him the place he has." ^ 
 
 But the Whig writers would have been more than 
 mortal if they had not shown some jealousy at their 
 quondam ally's super-eminent success under Tory colours. 
 
 While Swift continued thus to drink the cup of 
 flattery and congratulation, there was one thought which 
 ever and anon rose up before him like a cloud : What 
 and when was to be his reward ? He had spurned 
 Harley's pecuniary favours as an insult. High prefer- 
 ment alone he considered to be his due. But as time 
 went on, though the ministerial courtesy never relaxed, no 
 effort was made to obtain for Swift the expected recom- 
 pense. He refers frequently to the subject in his Journal. 
 As early as February g, 1711, he remarks: "Mr. 
 Harley, of late has said nothing of presenting me to the 
 queen. . , . He has such a weight of affairs on him that 
 he cannot mind all." A week later : " They (the 
 ministers) call me nothing but Jonathan ; and I said I 
 believed they would leave me Jonathan as they found me, 
 and that I never knew a ministry do anything for those 
 whom they make companions of their pleasures ; and I 
 . ' Journal, December 27, 1712, 
 
Political Activity. 123 
 
 believe you will find it so ; but I care not." On April 
 2nd he seems to have become rather doubtful : " The 
 assurances they (the ministers) gave me without scruple 
 or provocation, are such as are usuall}' believed in the 
 world ; they may come to nothing, but the first oppor- 
 tunity that offers and is neglected, I shall depend no 
 more, but come away." 
 
 May 23rd he writes : " faith ! I should be glad to be 
 in the same kingdom with MD (Stella). . , . But I am 
 kfept here by a most capricious fate, which I would break 
 through if I could do it with decency or honour. To 
 return without some mark of distinction would look 
 extremely little ; and I would likewise gladly be some- 
 what richer than I am." 
 
 For the next ten months Swift is so busy with the 
 political struggle that he has no time to think of himself. 
 
 He has found places for seven people since he came to 
 England, but can do nothing for himself. " I don't care," 
 he adds ; " I shall have ministries and other people 
 obliged to me." 
 
 But by the end of 1712, he begins to write in a really 
 complaining tone. December 26th : " I dined with lord 
 treasurer, who chid me for being absent three days. 
 Mighty kind ; less of civility and more of interest ! " 
 
 February 25, 1713. — " Lord treasurer met me last night 
 at Lord Masham's, and thanked m.e for my company in a 
 jeer, because I had not dined with him in three days. He 
 chides me if I stay away but two days together. What 
 will this come to ? Nothing. My grandmother used to 
 say, ' More of your lining, and less of your dining.' " 
 
 Of Lord Oxford's remissness in exerting himself for one 
 to whom he owed so much it is easy to find an explana- 
 tion. As a matter of fact, place-hunters always exaggerate 
 the perverseness of their patrons. Bishops and deans do 
 
124' Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 not die every day, and, with the best intentions in the 
 world, it was by no means easy to find a vacancy which 
 would satisfy Swift's demands. Lord Oxford was the 
 laziest of men, and perpetual solicitation by hungry clients, 
 lay and clerical, had rendered the practice of unmeaning 
 compliment a second nature to him. But beyond all this 
 was another and stronger obstacle to Swift's claims. 
 This was the queen herself, who insisted on a voice in all 
 high ecclesiastical appointments. 
 
 Poor Louis XVL is said to have feebly objected to 
 making Lomenie de Brienne Archbishop of Toulouse, on 
 the ground that the would-be prelate did not believe in 
 God. In the same way Anne had set her face firmly 
 against granting promotion to the author of the " Tale of 
 a Tub." I To what extent the ministry pressed Swift's 
 claims there is no means of knowing. Certain it is that 
 on April 13, 1713, Mr. Lewis (Lord Oxford's secretary), 
 in answer probably to some severe inquiries, showed Swift 
 an order for a warrant for three deaneries, none of which 
 were for him. " This was what I always foresaw," says 
 Swift, "and I received the notice of it better, I believe, 
 than I expected. I bid Mr. Lewis tell my lord treasurer 
 that I take nothing ill of him but his not giving me timely 
 notice, as he promised to do, if he found the queen would 
 do nothing for me. At noon lord treasurer, hearing I was 
 in Mr. Lewis's office, came to me, and said many things 
 too long to repeat. I told him I had nothing to do but go 
 to Ireland immediately ; for I could not, with any reputa- 
 tion, stay longer here, unless I had something honourable 
 immediately given me." This dignified remonstrance had 
 some effect on Harley. Swift's claims were energetically 
 pressed on the queen by Harley, Lady Masham and 
 
 ' It was the Archbishop of York, Dr. Sharp, who informed Anne that 
 Swift was responsible for this work. 
 
Political Activity. 125 
 
 the Duke of Ormond. The original warrants for the 
 deaneries were stopped ; and at length, on April 23rd, 
 Swift received the news that her Majesty had been pleased 
 to appoint him dean of the cathedral church of St. 
 Patrick's, Dublin. He had hoped for the deanery of 
 Windsor. But there was no help for it. With a. parting 
 murmur at the prospect " of having to spend my days in 
 Ireland," and a parting regret that the ministry let him go 
 from them so easily, he accepted the offer. His friends 
 congratulated him; but he was not happy, and'the whole 
 tone of his journals at this time shows that he was bitterly 
 disgusted at the ministerial ingratitude. 
 
 The final treaty of peace between France and England 
 was signed at Utrecht on March 31, 1713. The party 
 struggle, however, though not so definite, still continued 
 as virulent as ever. Before Swift could set out for 
 Ireland he found himself involved in a furious quarrel with 
 his old friend Steele. 
 
 An article had recently appeared in the Tory 'Examiner, 
 in which not only was Lord Nottingham attacked, but his 
 daughter also was made the subject of a disgraceful libel. 
 Steele promptly issued a protest against so dishonourable 
 an action in his paper, The Guardian, on April 28th. The 
 protest was answered ; and on May 12th, Steele published 
 a rejoinder written in strong terms and, though no names 
 were mentioned, pointing at Swift himself as the author 
 of the libel in question. The charge against Swift was 
 baseless. But much may be said in Steele's excuse. 
 Swift had, it is true, ceased to write in The 'Examiner since 
 June, 1711. But his name was specially identified with 
 it ; and its present conductors were universally regarded 
 as writing under his inspiration. Libels on women, more- 
 over, were a form of attack which Swift specially affected ; ^ 
 
 ' The reader will find an instance of this in the " Character of Lord 
 y.'harton." 
 
126 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 and he had done nothing to discourage the use of this most 
 odious of political weapons among his associates. On 
 reading Steele's insinuations against him, Swift at once 
 sent a disclaimer to Addison. He declared he was a 
 stranger to the present editor of The Examiner. " Should 
 not Mr. Steele" he added, "have first expostulated with 
 me as a friend ? Have I deserved this usage from Mr. 
 Steele, who knows very well that my lord treasurer has 
 kept him in his employment upon my entreaty and inter- 
 cession ? " Addison handed the letter to Steele. The 
 latter refused to believe the disclaimer, and in writing to 
 Swift he laughed at the latter's plea that he had spoken 
 in his behalf to the Government. In conclusion, he sneer- 
 ingly congratulated him on being made dean of St. 
 Patrick's. It was impossible for Swift to rest under this 
 imputation. He wrote a long epistle to Steele himself, 
 again -vindicating himself from the charge brought against 
 him and reproving Steele for the reckless way in which he 
 had endeavoured to take away the character of "a 
 Christian and a clergyman." On June ist Swift left 
 London. He sailed from Holyhead on June 8th, and 
 reached Dublin in two days. 
 
 The following chapter will describe Swift's social life 
 during this, his most important, visit to England. 
 
CHAPTER V. 
 
 IN THE GREAT WORLD. 
 
 High position of literary men under Anne — Greatness of Swift — A 
 chartered libertine — Kennet's portrait of him — Discussion of his 
 conduct — Swift's economy — His habit of dining out — Extracts from 
 the "Journal to Stella" illustrating Swift's manner of life — His stay 
 at Chelsea— A favourite with the ladies — Visits to Buckleberry 
 and Parson's Green — Episodes in his social career — Addi- 
 son's " Cato " — Patrick and his sins — Literature — The court — 
 Incidents of the time — A madman — Guiscard's corpse — Gossip 
 about Swift's friends — ^The Duchess of Marlborough's avarice — 
 The story of little Harrison — The Mohocks — Duelling— Sir 
 Cholmley Dering and Mr. Thornhill — The Duke of Hamilton 
 and Lord Mohun — Swift's interest in the latter affair— Relations 
 between Swift and Stella — Importance of the Journal — The 
 "little language" — The Vanhomrighs — Swift's acquaintance with 
 Vanessa — His singular conduct — Prospect of future trouble. 
 
 Never have men of letters been held in so high an esti- 
 mation as in the reign of Anne. Both political parties 
 strove to the utmost to secure their services ; and their 
 rewards were such as might have satisfied the most 
 ambitious aspirants. Addison, in return for his poem in 
 praise of the victory of Blenheim, was made a com- 
 missioner of appeals, under-secretary of state, and 
 secretary to the Lord Lieutenant of Ireland. Steele, 
 another Whig henchman, from a trooper in the Guards 
 became commissioner of the stamp office, and enjoyed 
 later on three other lucrative offices. Matthew Prior, an 
 
128 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 innkeeper's nephew, whose verses pleased the cultured taste 
 of a great minister, rose to the high post of English 
 ambassador to France. Nor was the social position of 
 the man of letters at this time inferior to his political 
 importance. Between Addison and the haughty Whig 
 leaders the closest familiarity existed. Bolingbroke and 
 Prior in their private letters style one another by their 
 Christian names. As might have been expected, no writer 
 availed himself of his opportunity so eagerly as Swift. 
 "All my endeavours to distinguish myself," he has said, 
 " were only for want of a great title and fortune, that I 
 might be used like a lord by those who have an opinion of 
 my parts." The moment he had been waiting for ever since 
 the gloomy days at Moor Park had come at last, and he 
 enjoyed his unaccustomed honours to the full. From the 
 November of 1710 to the May of 17 13 he was the 
 chartered libertine of English society. Partly from 
 respect for his abilities, partly from the actual value of 
 his assistance, partly from amusement at the novelty of 
 the thing, the great world surrendered itself as to a con- 
 queror. He never flattered. When told that the Duke 
 of Buckingham desires his acquaintance, he answers that 
 the duke has not made sufficient advances to him yet. 
 When asked to a dinner party by a secretary of state, he 
 insists on drawing up a list of the company. Even ladies 
 have to bow beneath the yoke. However beautiful, 
 wealthy, or high-born, they must always appear as 
 suppliants for Dr. Swift's acquaintance. Even then his 
 rule is far from easy. " Lady Burlington," says he, " I 
 hear you can sing; sing me a song." Her ladyship 
 resents such an unceremonious address, and refuses. 
 " Why, madam," says Swift, " I suppose you take me for 
 one of your poor English hedge-parsons ; sing, when I bid 
 you." As Lord Burlington only laughs, the lady bursts 
 
In the Great World, iig 
 
 into tears and leaves the room. This does not soften 
 Swift. He meets her a few days after. " Pray, madam, are 
 you so proud and ill-natured now as when I last saw you?" 
 is his greeting. The man's fascination is so strong that all 
 yield to him. Not a night passes but he spends it as the- 
 centre of some aristocratic assembly. He positively fe-fels 
 in the novel splendour of his position. " I thought I saw 
 Jack Temple and his wife pass by me to-day in their 
 coach," he says to Stella. " I took no notice of them. I 
 am glad I have whollj' shaken off that family." He walks 
 straight up to the prime minister's private room on a 
 busy day, and jeers at the crowd of less favoured clients 
 who have been waiting long hours in the ante-chamber. 
 One can easily picture to oneself Swift's appearance at 
 this time. Like all Anglican clergymen he wears a 
 cassock and gown with wide puffed " pudding " sleeves, 
 his head being surmounted by an enormous periwig. He 
 is of middle height, with a robust and upright figure. 
 His marked features, clear brow, and keen blue eyes im- 
 press those who meet him with a mingled sense of vivacity 
 and power. His voice is strong, his language incisive, 
 his manner dictatorial. The influence of his conver- 
 sational powers is extraordinary. A master of irony, and 
 an adept in the art of playing upon words, on serious 
 subjects he can reach to the very heart of his auditor, 
 while in giving odd turns of interest to commonplace 
 matters he is without an equal. 
 
 The best picture of him at the height of his power is 
 that given by Bishop Kennet in his diary, 1713 : — 
 
 " Dr. Swift came into the coffee-house and had a bow 
 from everybody but me. When I came to the ante- 
 chamber to wait before prayers, Dr. Swift was the 
 principal man of talk and business, and acted as master 
 of requests. He was soliciting the Earl of Arran to spsak 
 
 10 
 
1 30 . Dean Swift and his Writings, 
 
 to his brother, the Duke of Ormond, to get a chaplain's 
 place established in the garrison of Hull for Mr. Fiddes, 
 a clergyman in that neighbourhood, who had lately been 
 in gaol, and published sermons to pay fees. He was pro- 
 mising Mr. Thorold to undertake with my lord treasurer 
 that, according to his petition, he should obtain a salary 
 of £200 per annum, as minister of the English church at 
 Rotterdam. He stopped F. Gwynne, Esq., going in with 
 the red bag to the queen, and told him aloud he had 
 something to say to him from my lord treasurer. He 
 talked with the son of Dr. Davenant to be sent abroad, 
 and took out his pocket-book, and wrote down several 
 things, as memoranda to do for him. He turned to the 
 fire and took out his gold watch, and then, telling the time 
 of the day, complained it was very late. A gentleman 
 said ' he was too fast.' ' How can I help it,' says the 
 doctor (Swift) ' if the courtiers give me a watch that won't 
 go right ? ' Then he instructed a young nobleman that 
 "the best poet in England was Mr. Pope (a papist), who 
 had begun a translation of Homer into English verse, for 
 which ' he must have them all subscribe ; for,' says he, 
 ' the author shall not begin to print till I have a thousand 
 guineas for him.' Lord treasurer, after leaving the queen, 
 came through the room beckoning Dr. Swift to follow him. 
 Both went off just before prayers," 
 
 In all this one sees an intense pride exulting at its de- 
 liverance frorn long years of enforced self-restraint. 
 
 Monck Mason, in his " Life of Swift," ' makes the fol- 
 lowing comment : — " That quality of Swift which most 
 redounds to his immortal honour is his zeal in asserting 
 the superiority of talents and virtue over titles and wealth; 
 he was the first person of genius and letters who went 
 
 " To be found in Mason's " History and Antiquities of the Church 
 of St. Patrick, Dublin." 
 
In the G7-eat World. 131 
 
 beyond vain speculation in this respect, boldly demanding 
 and actually receiving the homage due to that which con- 
 stitutes the true superiority of man." For this statement 
 there is little to be said. The leading men of the social 
 and political world had already learnt to pay due respect 
 to genius before Swift's appearance on the scene. One 
 never hears that Addison, Steele, or Pope, had to com- 
 plain of rudeness or oversights. Swift's roughness in 
 the presence of the great is frequently so pointed as to 
 betray a needless suspicion of inferiority. It is like that 
 of the mulatto who, in white society, is constantly calling 
 attention to his woolly hair and peculiar finger-nails ; and 
 it can hardly be supposed that Harley, St. John, or 
 Ormond would have treated Swift with less respect had 
 his bearing been simple, easy, and unembarrassed — in a 
 word, that of a gentleman among gentlemen. 
 
 Swift's available income during his stay in London was 
 under two hundred pounds a year. To maintain an 
 appearance in the great world he was therefore compelled 
 to exercise most stringent economy. But apart from 
 the, at that time, necessary cost of a man-servant, he had 
 few expenses. His lodgings were very cheap. In Bury 
 Street he had a dining-room and bed-chamber on the first 
 floor at eight shillings a week. At Chelsea he was con- 
 tent "with one silly room with confounded coarse sheets," 
 for which he paid six shillings a week. He bitterly 
 bewails any incidental expense. 
 
 January 15, 1711. — "It has cost me three guineas to- 
 day for a periwig. I am undone 1 It was made by a 
 Leicester man, who married Mr. Worrell's daughter, 
 vyhere my mother lodged ; so I thought it would be cheap, 
 and especially since he lives in the city." ^ Swift was a 
 
 ■ Yet the price of a full-bottomed periwig was often thirty or forty 
 guineas. 
 
I32 Dean Swift and his Writings, 
 
 good walker, and thus rarely incurred the trouble of a 
 coach or sedan chair. It was, however, necessary in 
 rainy weather, which he denounces as ruinous to his 
 " pate and purse." 
 
 September 8, 1711. — " It is terrible rainy weather and 
 has cost me three shillings in coaches and chairs." He 
 seems to have kept fairly clear of card-playing. 
 
 October 2, lyir. — "I have been very idle this after- 
 noon, playing at twelvepenny picquet with Lewis ; I won 
 seven shillings, which is the only money I won this year. 
 I have not played above four times." 
 
 Swift's greatest economical achievement was in the 
 matter of dinner. The occasions on which he dined at 
 his own expense during this three years' visit to London 
 might be almost counted on the fingers. Night after night 
 he dined with Harley or St. John. Other friends, such as 
 Harcourt, Masham, and Ormond, were always glad to re- 
 ceive him, and he soon began to look on dinner at a friend's 
 house every night as a matter of course. Some of his refer- 
 ences to the subject are rather amusing. The usual dinner 
 hour, it should be remembered, was three in the afternoon, 
 P'ashionable people dined at four ; reprobates as late as six. 
 
 December 18, 1710. — " I was hunting to dine with Mr. 
 Harley to-day, but could not find him ; and so I dined 
 with honest Dr. Cockburn and came home at six." 
 
 December 20, 1710. — " I went to the court of requests, 
 thinking to find Mr. Harley and dine with him, and refuse 
 Henley and everybody, and at last knew not where to go, 
 and met Jemmy Leigh by chance, so I dined at his 
 lodgings on a beef-steak." 
 
 August 26, 1711. — " People have so left the town that I 
 am at a loss for a dinner. It is a long time since I have 
 been at London upon a Sunday, and the ministers are all 
 at Windsor. It cost me eighteenpence in coach-hire 
 
In the Great World. 133 
 
 before I could find a place to dine in. I went to Frank- 
 land's and he was abroad ; and the drab, his wife, looked 
 out of window, and bowed to me without inviting me up ; so 
 I dined with Mr. Coote, my Lord Montrath's brother." 
 
 September 14, 1711. — " I was mortified enough to-day, 
 not knowing where in the world to dine, the town is so 
 empty. I met H. Coote, and thought he would invite me, 
 but he did not. Sir John Stanley did not come into my 
 head, so I took up with Mrs. Van (Vanhomrigh), and 
 dined with her and her landlady." But there was some- 
 thing besides dinner to be met at " Mrs. Van's." 
 
 Swift was not a gourmand. " I hardly ever eat of above 
 one thing," he tells Stella, '' and that the plainest ordinary 
 meat at table ; I love it best, and believe it wholesomest." 
 However, except with very great personages, dinner in 
 these simple days did not usually consist of more than two 
 courses. So Swift was not often called on to exercise 
 restraint. As regards favourite dishes, he seems to have 
 had a fancy for venison ; and he is specially enthusiastic 
 over a haunch he partook of at Lord Abercorn's " which 
 smelt rarely on one side." Occasionally he dined at a 
 tavern with a friend. Of these places Pontack's was the 
 best known. " I dined in the city at Pontack's with 
 Stratford," says Swift, adding rather ruefully, " It cost 
 me seven shillings." This, however, was nothing to a 
 trick played on him once by St. John. 
 
 September 15, 1711, he records that being on an excur- 
 sion with Mr. St. John : " I made the secretary stop at 
 Brentford, because we set out at two this afternoon, and 
 fasting would not agree with me. I only designed to eat 
 a bit of bread and butter, but he would light, and we ate, 
 roast beef like dragons. And he made me treat him and 
 two more gentlemen ; faith, it cost me a guinea, I don't 
 like such jesting." 
 
134 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 The following extracts from the " Journal to Stella " 
 will illustrate Swift's usual manner of life at this 
 time : 
 
 London, April lo, 1711. — ". . . Went to take leave of 
 poor Mrs. St. John, who gave me strict charge to take 
 care of the secretary in her ahsence ; said she had none 
 to trust but me : and the poor creature's tears came fresh 
 into her eyes. Before we took leave I was drawn in to 
 raffle for a fan ; it was four guineas, and we put in seven 
 shillings apiece. Several raffled for absent people, but I 
 lost, and so missed an opportunity of showing my gallantry 
 to Mrs. St. John, whom I designed to have presented it 
 to if I had won. ... I carried Ford to dine with Mr. 
 ,St. John last Sunday, that he may brag, when he goes 
 back, of dining with a secretary of state. The secretary 
 and I went away early, and left him drinking with the 
 rest, and he told me ' that two or three of them were 
 drunk.' " 
 
 The latter must have indeed been the case, as the 
 following entry in the Journal shows : 
 
 London, April 12, 1711. — " I went about noon to the 
 secretary, who is very ill with a cold, and sometimes of 
 the gravel, with his champagne, &c. I scolded him like 
 a dog, and he promises faithfully more care for the 
 future." 
 
 Swift always chronicles his own jokes with great glee. 
 
 London, April 23, 1711. — " I made a good pun on 
 Saturday to my lord keeper (Lord Harcourt). After 
 dinner we had coarse Doiley liapkins, fringed at each 
 end, upon the table to drink with. My lord keeper spread 
 one of them between him and Mr. Prior. I told him I 
 was glad to see there was such a fringeship (friendship) 
 between Mr. Prior and his lordship. Prior swore ' it was 
 the worst he had ever heard.' I said ' I thought so too,' 
 
In the Great World. 135 
 
 but at the same time I thought it was most like one of 
 Stella's that ever I heard. I dined to-day with Lord 
 Mountjoy, and this evening saw the Venetian ambassador 
 coming from his first public audience, tiis coach was 
 the most monstrous, huge, fine, rich, gilt thing that ever 
 I saw. I loitered this evening, and came home late." 
 
 During the summer of 1711, he took lodgings at 
 Chelsea for the benefit of the fresher air. He liked an 
 occasional bathe in the river; and the walk into town 
 did him good. 
 
 Chelsea, May 15, 1711. — " My walk to town to-day 
 was after ten, and prodigiously hot. I dined with Lord 
 Shelburne, and have desired Mrs. Pratt, who lodges 
 there, to carry over Mrs. Walls' tea ; I hope she will do 
 it ; and they talk of going in a fortnight. My way is 
 this : I leave my best gown and periwig at Mrs. Van- 
 homrigh's, then walk up the Pall Mall, through the park, 
 out at Buckingham House, and so to Chelsea a little 
 beyond the church. I set out about sunset, and get there 
 in something less than an hour; it is two good miles, 
 and just five thousand seven hundred and forty-eight 
 steps ; so there is four miles a day walking, without 
 reckoning what I walk while I stay in town. When I 
 pass the Mall in the evening it is prodigious to see the 
 number of ladies walking there ; and I always cry shame 
 at the ladies of Ireland, who never walk at all, as if their 
 legs were of no use but to be laid aside. I have been 
 now almost three weeks here, and, I thank God, am much 
 better in my head, if it does but continue." 
 
 Chelsea, May 19, 1711. — "Do you know that about 
 our town we are mowing already and making hay, and it 
 smells so sweet as we walk through the flowery meads ? 
 but the haymaking nymphs are penect drabs, nothing so 
 clean and pretty as farther in the country. There is a 
 
136 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 mighty increase of dirty wenches in straw hats since I 
 knew London," 
 
 With ladies, always more favourably disposed to a 
 tyrant than a slave, Swift was very popular. Besides 
 Mrs. St. John, the Duchess of Ormond, and Lady 
 Masham, he struck up a close acquaintance with the 
 Countess of Orkney, formerly mistress to King William 
 IIL, but now married to a brother of the Duke of 
 Hamilton. He was constantly at her house, and many 
 letters passed between the two. The countess made 
 Swift several little presents, such as an embroidered 
 dressing-gown and a writing-table. " Lady Orkney," he 
 adds in his Journal for February 8, 1713, " has given me 
 her picture, a very fine original of Sir Godfrey Kneller's ; 
 it is now a-mending. He has favoured her squint 
 admirably ; and you know I love a cast in the eye." 
 
 Another of Swift's admirers was Mrs. Anne Long. 
 She was a great beauty, and much liked in society. He 
 had met her first at Mrs. Vanhomrigh's in 1709. On the 
 ground that she was already a celebrated toast, she 
 rashly claimed exemption from the rule that all ladies 
 desirous of Dr. Swift's acquaintance were to make the 
 first advances. But on the case being submitted to 
 arbitration, judgment was given against her. It was 
 declared that the supremacy of Dr. Swift overrode all 
 law, all custom and all privileges. 
 
 However, the court concluded, "in consideration of the 
 said Mrs. Long being a toast, we think it just and reason- 
 able that the said Doctor Swift should permit her to give 
 herself the reputation of being one of his acquaintances, 
 which no other lady shall presume to do, upon any 
 pretence whatsoever, without his especial leave and license 
 first had and obtained." Poor Mrs. Long subsequently 
 got heavily into debt, and to escape arrest retired under 
 
In the Great World. 137 
 
 the assumed name of Mrs. Smith to Lynn, in Norfolk, 
 where she died in December, 1711, Swift has some 
 feeling remarks on her in his Journal : " The poor 
 creature had retired to Lynn two years ago to live cheap 
 and pay her debts. In her last letter she told me she 
 hoped to be easy by Christmas ; and she kept her word, 
 although she meant it otherwise. She had all sorts of 
 amiable qualities and no ill ones, but the indiscretion of 
 neglecting her own affairs. ... I believe melancholy 
 helped her on to her grave." In a private memorandum 
 book of his own he adds : " She was the most beautiful 
 person of the age she lived in, of great honour and virtue, 
 infinite sweetness and generosity of temper, and true 
 good sense." 
 
 The following extract shows Swift in his lighter mood : — 
 
 Chelsea, June 6, 1711. " Lady Berkeley after dinner 
 clapped my hat on another lady's head, and she in roguery 
 put it upon the rails. I minded them not, but in two 
 minutes they called me to the window, and Lady Carteret 
 showed me my hat out of her window five doors off, where 
 I was forced to walk to it, and pay her and old Lady 
 Weymouth a visit, with some more beldames. Then I 
 went and drank coffee, and made one or two puns with 
 Lord Pembroke, and designed to go to lord treasurer; 
 but it was too late, and besides, I was half broiled, and 
 broiled Without butter, for I never sweat after dinner if I 
 drink any wine. Then I sat an hour with Lady Betty 
 Butler at tea, and everything made me hotter and drier. 
 Then I walked home, and was here by ten." 
 
 Then there is mention of a visit to Mr. St. John's 
 country house. 
 
 August 4 and 5, 1711. — " I dined yesterday at Buckle- 
 berry,' where we lay two nights, and set out this morning 
 
 ' Usually written Bucklersbnry. 
 
138 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 at eight, and were here by twelve ; in four hours we went 
 twenty-six miles. Mr. Secretary was a perfect country 
 gentleman at Buckleberry; he smoked tobacco with one 
 or two neighbours ; he inquired after the wheat in such a 
 field ; he went to visit his hounds, and knew all their 
 names ; he and his lady saw me to my chamber just in 
 the country fashion. His house is in the midst of near 
 "three thousand pounds a year he had by his lady, who is 
 descended from Jack of Newbury, of whom books and 
 ballads are written ; and there is an old picture of him in 
 the house. She is a great favourite of mine." ^ 
 
 Occasionally we get an allusion to Swift's curious 
 inability to eat fruit, early over-indulgence in which he 
 thought was the cause of his bad health. 
 
 Windsor, September i, 1711. — "The secretary and I, 
 and Brigadier Sutton, dined to-day at Parson's Green, 
 at my Lord Peterborow's ^ house, who has left it and his 
 gardens to the secretary during his abserxe. It is the 
 
 ' Mrs. St. John was a Frances Winchescombe, a daughter and co- 
 heiress of Sir Francis Winchescombe. Her estate was near Reading. 
 She was a woman of great beauty, but her marriage was a family- 
 arrangement, and her husband never loved her. 
 
 " Charles Mordaunt, Earl of Peterborough (l658(?)-i735), a great 
 friend of Swift, though not often in London. He was the most ver- 
 satile man of the age, and earned equal distinction as a soldier, a 
 diplomatist, and a lover. His eccentric energy is described by Swift 
 in one of the best of his minor poems : — 
 
 " In journeys he outrides the post, 
 Sits up till midnight with his host. 
 Talks politics, and gives the toast. 
 
 Knows every prince in Europe's face, 
 Flies like a squib from place to place, 
 And travels not, but runs a race. 
 
 A skeleton in outward figure, 
 
 His meagre corpse, though full of vigour. 
 
 Would halt behind him were it bigger.'' 
 
In the Gi'eat World. 139 
 
 finest garden I have ever seen about this town, and 
 abundance of hot walls for grapes, where they are in 
 great plenty, and ripenhig fast. I durst not eat any fruit 
 but one fig ; but I brought a basketful to my friend Lewis 
 here at Windsor. Does Stella never eat any ? What ! 
 no apricots at Donnybrook? nothing but claret and 
 ombre? ^ I envypeople maunching and maunching peaches 
 and grapes, and I not daring to eat a bit. My head is 
 pretty well, only a sudden turn any time makes me giddy 
 for a moment, and sometimes it feels very stuffed ; but if 
 it grows no worse, I can bear it very well. I take all 
 opportunities of walking ; and we have a delicious park 
 here just joining to the castle, and an avenue in the 
 great part very wide and two miles long, set with a 
 double row of elms on each side. Were you ever at 
 Windsor ? I was once a great while ago, but had quite 
 forgotten it." 
 
 The next few extracts relate to dinners, visits, and 
 general episodes : 
 
 September 7, 1711. — " I dined with my friend Lewis at 
 his lodgings, and walked at six to Kensington to Mrs. 
 Masham's christening. It was very private ; nobody 
 there but my lord treasurer, his son, and son-in-law 
 — that is to say. Lord Harley, Lord Dupplin, Lord 
 Rivers and L The Dean of Rochester christened the 
 child, but soon went away. Lord treasurer and Lord 
 Rivers were godfathers, and Mrs. Hill, Mrs. Masham's 
 sister, godmother. The child roared like a bull, and I 
 gave Mrs. Masham joy of it. Mrs. Masham sat up 
 dressed in bed, but not as they do in Ireland, with all 
 smooth about her, as if she was cut off in the middle, for 
 you might see the counterpane (what d'ye call it?) rise 
 above her hips and body." 
 
 ' A same at cards. 
 
140 Dean Szvift and his Writings. 
 
 January 15, 1712. — " I was very deep with the Duke of 
 Ormond to-day at the Cock Pit/ where we met to be 
 private. . . . My friend Penn came there — Will Penn the 
 Quaker — at the head of his brethren, to thank the duke for 
 his kindness to their people in Ireland. To see a dozen 
 scoundrels with their hats on, and the duke compliment- 
 ing them with his off, was a good sight enough. I sat 
 this evening with Sir William Robinson, who has mighty 
 often invited me to a bottle of wine ; and it is past twelve 
 o'clock." 
 
 February 6, 1712. — "I went to dine at Lord Masham's 
 at three, and met all the company just coming out of 
 court — a mighty crowd. They stayed long for their 
 coaches. I had an opportunity of seeing several lords 
 and ladies of my acquaintance in their fineries. Lady 
 Ashburnham looked the best in my eyes. They say the 
 court was never fuller nor finer. Lord treasurer, his 
 lady, and two daughters, and Mrs. Hill dined at Lord 
 and Lady Masham's ; the five ladies were monstrous fine. 
 The queen gave Prince Eugene the diamond sword to- 
 day, but nobody was by when she gave it except my lord 
 chamberlain. There was an entertainment of opera 
 songs at night, and the queen was at all the entertain- 
 ment, and is very well after it. I saw Lady Wharton, as 
 ugly as the devil, coming out in the crowd all in an 
 undress ; she has been with the Marlborough daughters 
 and Lady Bridgewater in St. James's, looking out of the 
 window all undressed to see the sight. I do not hear that 
 one Whig lady was there, except those of the bed-chamber. 
 Nothing has made so great a noise as one Kelson's 
 chariot, that cost nine hundred and thirty pounds, the 
 finest was ever seen. The rabble huzzaed him as much 
 as they did Prince Eugene." 
 
 ' Name given to one of the council-chambers at Whitehall. 
 
In the Great World. 141 
 
 February 26, 1712. — " To-day in the morning I visited 
 upward. First I saw the Duke of Ormond below stairs, 
 and gave him joy of his being declared general in 
 Flanders; then I went up one pair of stairs, and sate 
 with the duchess; then I went up another pair of stairs, 
 and paid a visit to Lady Betty ; and desired her woman 
 to go up to the garret, that I might pass half an hour with 
 her, but she was j'oung and handsome and would not ! " 
 
 February 18, 1713. — " The Earl of Abingdon has 
 been teasing me these three months to dine with him ; 
 and this day was appointed about a week ago, and I 
 named my company : Lord Stawell, Colonel Disney, and 
 Dr. Arbuthnot; but the two last slipped out their necks 
 and left Stawell and me to dine there. We did not dine 
 till seven, because it is Ash Wednesday. We had 
 nothing but fish, which Lord Stawell could not eat, and 
 got a bi-oiled leg of a turkey. Our wine was poison ; yet 
 the puppy has twelve thousand pounds a year. His 
 carps were raw and his candles tallow. He shall not 
 catch me in haste again, and everybody has laughed 
 at me for dining with him." 
 
 Swift attended auctions, and was frequently tempted 
 to lay out money on books and pictures. 
 
 March 6, 1713. — "I was to-day at an auction of 
 pictures with Pratt, and laid out two pounds five shillings 
 for a picture of Titian, and if it were a Titian it would be 
 worth twice as many pounds. If I am cheated, I'll part 
 with it to Lord Masham ; if it be a bargain, I'll keep it 
 to myself." 
 
 March loth. — " I went to look on a library I am going 
 to buy, if we can agree. I have offered a hundred and 
 twenty pounds, and will give ten pounds more. Lord 
 Bolingbroke will lend me the money. I was two hours 
 poring over the books. I will sell some of them 
 
142 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 and keep the rest ; but I doubt they won't take the 
 money." 
 
 He tooklittle interest in the theatre. The following 
 shows that his connection with Addison was not quite 
 broken : 
 
 April 6, 1713. — " I was this morning at ten at the 
 rehearsal of Mr. Addison's play, called " Cato," which is to 
 be acted on Friday. There was not above half a score of 
 us to see it. We stood on the stage, and it was foolish 
 enough to see the actors prompted every moment, and 
 the poet directing them ; and the drab that acts Cato's 
 daughter (Mrs. Oldfield) out in the midst of a passionate 
 part, and then calling out ' What's next ? ' The Bishop 
 of Clogher was there too, but he stood privately in a 
 gallery." 
 
 Much of the Journal is devoted to the misdeeds of 
 Swift's servant, Patrick. The fascinations of London 
 proved too strong for that jovial Irishman. He entered 
 with great zest into the pleasures of his brother footmen, 
 who at that time formed quite a distinct class in the 
 community. They were usually put on board wages, 
 which left them largely at liberty. They claimed a right 
 of free admittance to the upper gallery at the theatres 
 whenever they accompanied their masters thither. Those 
 in the service of peers or members of parliament used to 
 hold mock debates outside the Palace of Westminster 
 whilst waiting for their masters. "Bromley is chosen 
 speaker," Swift writes to Stella, "and Pompey, Colonel 
 Hill's black, designs to stand speaker for the footmen. I 
 am engaged to use my interest for him, and have spoken 
 to Patrick to get him some votes." Patrick soon began 
 to grow fond of convivial meetings, which were apt to 
 end up in a free fight.i Patrick " has been drunk ten times 
 • The sedan-chairmen at this time and for long after were always 
 
In the Great World. 143 
 
 within three weeks," writes Swift as early as October 10, 
 1710. He tears his clothes, breaks furniture by his 
 "awkwardness — for which Swift has to pay — and disobeys 
 Swift's orders in the most scandalous manner. On July 
 28, 1711 Mr. St. John had engaged to call for Swift at his 
 lodgings in Bury Street at two and take him to Windsor. 
 Patrick is told to have everything packed up and be at 
 home half an hour earlier. " Do you think that abomin- 
 able dog Patrick," writes Swift, " was out after two to- 
 'day, and I in a fright every moment for fear the chariot 
 should come ; and when he came in, he had not put up 
 one of my things ! " 
 
 After the arrival at Windsor Patrick gets wo.rse than 
 ever. Swift writes on August 2, 1711 : — "I have been 
 now five days at Windsor, and Patrick has been drunk 
 three times that I have seen, and oftener than I believe. 
 He has lately had clothes that have cost me five pounds, 
 and the dog thinks he has the whip-hand of me ; he 
 begins to master me ; so now I am i-esolved to part with 
 him, and will use him without the least pity." When 
 sober, Patrick was a good servant. He told lies " nearly 
 as well as Mr. Barley's porter," and was an excellent 
 hand at keeping away unpleasant visitors. He had a 
 tender heart also, and devoted sixpence — a most extrava- 
 gant sum his master told him — to the purchase of a 
 tame linnet, of which he was very fond. Swift therefore 
 hesitated long about discharging him. Bat the case was 
 hopeless. On October i, 1711 Dr. Swift, after spending 
 the evening with Lady Oglethorpe, comes home to find 
 that Patrick has locked up his lodgings and gone off with 
 the key. He had to wait for two hours. " Then came in 
 
 Irish. Whenever one of their number died, his brethren iised to 
 subscribe among themselves so as to have a "wake." Patrick 
 attended one of these ceremonies. 
 
144 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 Patrick. I went up, shut the chamber door, and gave 
 him two or three swinge-ing ' cuffs on the ear, and I have 
 sprained the thumb of my left hand with pulling him, 
 which I did not feel until he was gone. He was plaguily 
 afraid and humbled." 
 
 December 24, 1711, Swift writes: — "I gave Patrick 
 half-a-crown, on condition that he would be good, and 
 he came home drunk at midnight. I have taken a 
 memorandum of it, because I never design to give him 
 a groat more." Swift gave his servant one more chance. 
 But it was no use, and in 1713 Patrick was discarded. 
 Yet Swift regretfully adds that " my new man is not such 
 an artist as Patrick at denying me." 
 
 In the midst of his political struggles Swift by no 
 means neglected the higher interests of general literature. 
 He had a great idea of combining the writers of his time 
 in a compact body and of making the link of patronage 
 between them and the powers of the state as close as 
 possible. In June, 1711,^ a club, composed partly of men 
 of wit, partly of men of interest, was formed. Consisting 
 first of twelve it was subsequently increased to nineteen 
 members. Its members included men like the Duke of 
 Ormond, Lord Lansdowne, and St. John on one side, and 
 Swift himself, Arbuthnot, and Freind on the other. They 
 styled themselves " Brothers " and dined together every 
 Thursday evening. Literary subjects were always dis- 
 cussed and the^ merits of the latest work by any member 
 of the club criticised and canvassed. Not content with 
 this, Swift, who always admired the French theory of 
 strict literary rules, in February, 1712, addressed to the 
 lord treasurer an elaborate proposal for " correcting, 
 improving, and ascertaining the English language." 
 
 ' Swinge, to beat ; the word is now obsolete. 
 ' See Journal for June 21, 171 1 
 
In the Great World. 145 
 
 Swift's object was, by creating certain definite standards, 
 to prevent such alteration as might render the works of the 
 good writers of one age unintelligible to those of a later. 
 The proposal, which would have involved the creation of 
 an English Academy of Letters, came to nothing. Dr. 
 Johnson's comment upon it is characteristic : 
 
 "The certainty and stability which, contrary to all 
 experience, Swift thinks attainable, he proposes to 
 secure by instituting an academy, the decrees of vs^hich 
 every man would have been willing, and many would 
 have been proud, to disobey, and which, being renewed 
 by successive elections, would in a short time have 
 differed from itself." 
 
 As to the justice of this criticism the reader may form 
 his own opinion. An authoritative standard of vocabulary 
 and style would be an inestimable blessing to English 
 literature. Whether it would be possible to make writers 
 obey that standard is another question. Besides the 
 above, Swift, who much aspired after the fame of a 
 historian, spent much of his leisure on a " History of 
 the last four years of Queen Anne's reign," a dull 
 work which only saw the light in 1758. 
 
 We get several pictures of life at court, which Swift 
 treated as " his coffee-house." 
 
 August 8, 1711. — "There was a drawing-room to-day 
 at court but so few company, that the queen sent for us 
 into her bed-chamber, where we made our bows, and 
 stood about twenty of us round the room, while she 
 looked at us round with her fan in her mouth, and once 
 a minute said about three words to some that were 
 nearest her; and then she was told dinner was ready 
 and went out. I dined at the green cloth, by Mr. 
 Scarborow's invitation, who is in waiting. It is much 
 the best table in England, and costs the queen a 
 
 II 
 
146 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 thousand pounds a month while she is at Windsor or 
 Hampton Court, and is the only mark of magnificence 
 or hospitality I can see in the queen's family ; it is 
 designed to entertain foreign ministers, and people of 
 quality, who come to see the queen and have no place 
 to dine at." 
 
 • J^^ly 3I) 1711- — " The queen was abroad to-day in order 
 to hunt, but finding it disposed to rain, she kept in her 
 coach. She hunts in a chaise with one horse, which she 
 drives herself, and drives furiously like Jehu, and is a 
 mighty hunter like Nimrod." 
 
 September 2, 1711. — " . . . We had a great court, and 
 among others I saw your Ingoldsby, who, seeing me 
 talking familiarly with the keeper, treasurer, &c., came 
 up and saluted me, and began a very impertinent dis- 
 course about the siege of Bouchain. I told him I could 
 not answer his questions, but I would bring him one that 
 should ; so I went and fetched Sutton (who brought over 
 the express about a month ago) and delivered him to the 
 general, and bid him answer his questions ; and so I left 
 them together. Sutton, after some time, came back in 
 rage ; finds me with Lord Rivers and Masham, and there 
 complains of the trick I had played him, and swore he 
 had been plagued to death with Ingoldsby's talk. ... So 
 we laughed." 
 
 September 19, 1711. — ■" Arbuthnot made me draw up a 
 sham subscription for a book, called a History of the 
 Maids of Honour since, &c., to pay a crown in hand, and 
 the other crown upon the delivery of the book, and all in 
 the common form of those things. We got a gentleman 
 to write it fair, because my hand is well known, and we 
 sent it to the maids of honour when they came to supper. 
 If they bite at it, it will be a very good court jest, and 
 the queen will certainly have it ; we did not tell Mrs. Hill. 
 
In the Great World. 147 
 
 September 31, 1711. — "The maids of honour are bit,' 
 and have all contributed their crowns, and are teasing 
 others to subscribe for the book." 
 
 October 4, 1711 (Windsor). — " It was the finest day in 
 the world, and we got out before eleven, a noble caravan 
 of us. The Duchess of Shrewsbury in her own chaise 
 with one horse, and Miss Touchet with her ; Mrs. Masham 
 and Mrs. Scarborow, one of the dressers, in one of the 
 queen's chaises ; Miss Forrester and Miss Scarborow, 
 two maids of honour, and Mrs. Hill on horseback. The 
 Duke of Shrewsbury, Mr. Masham, George Fielding, 
 Arbuthnot (the court-physician), and I, on horseback too. 
 Mrs. Hill's horse was hired for Miss Scarborow, but she 
 took it in civility ; her own horse was galled and could 
 not be rid, but kicked and winced ; the hired horse was 
 not worth eighteenpence. I borrowed coat, boots, and 
 horse. . . . My coat was light camlet, faced with red 
 velvet and silver buttons. We rode in the great park 
 about a dozen miles, and the duchess and I had much 
 conversation ; we got home by two, and Mr. Masham, 
 his lady, Arbuthnot, and I dined with Mrs. Hill." 
 
 January 6, 1712. — " I went to court, which I found very 
 full, in expectation of seeing Prince Eugene, who landed 
 last night, and lies at Leicester House; he was not to 
 see the queen till six this evening. I hope and believe he 
 comes too late to do the Whigs any good. ... I went at 
 six to see the prince at court, but he was gone in to see 
 the queen, and when he came out Mr. Secretary screened 
 me from him with his great periwig. I'll tell you a good 
 passage : as Prince Eugene was going with Mr. Secretary 
 to court, he told the secretary 'that Hoffmann, the 
 emperor's resident, said to his highness that it was not 
 
 " A bite, equivalent to the phrase a sell, used to mean a delusion. 
 
148 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 proper to go to court without a long wig, and his was a. 
 tied-up one. Now, says the prince, I knew not what to 
 do, for I never had a long periwig in my life; and I have 
 sent to all my valets and footmen, to see whether any of 
 them have one, that I might borrow it, but none of them 
 has any.' Was not this spoken very greatly with some 
 sort of contempt ? " 
 
 Besides being a record of his own doings, Swift's 
 Journal records many interesting incidents of the time for 
 Stella's benefit. The following extract shows that excite- 
 ment about war, politics, and national debts had driven 
 at least one poor man stark mad. 
 
 London, November 18, 1710. — " Coming home at 
 seven, a gentleman unknown stopped me in the Pall Mall 
 and asked my advice ; said he had been to see the queen 
 (who had just come to town), and the people in waiting 
 would not let him see her ; that he had two hundred 
 thousand men ready to serve her in the war ; that he 
 knew the queen perfectly well, and had an apartment at 
 court, and if she heard he was there she would send 
 for him immediately ; that she owed him two hundred 
 thousand pounds, &c., and he desired my opinion whether 
 he should go try again whether he could see her ; or 
 because, perhaps, she was weary after her journey, 
 whether he had not better stay till to-morrow. I had a 
 mind to get rid of my companion, and begged him of all 
 love to wait on her immediately ; for that to my know- 
 ledge the queen would admit him ; that this was an 
 affair of great importance, and required despatch ; and I 
 instructed him to let me know the success of his business, 
 and come to the Smyrna coffee-house, where I would wait 
 for him till midnight ; and so ended this adventure. I 
 would fain have given the man half-a-crown, but I was 
 afraid to offer it him, lest he should be offended ; for. 
 
In the Great World. 149 
 
 besides his money, he said he had a thousand pounds a 
 year." 
 , Then comes anotethrowingcuriouslightonpopulartaste. 
 
 March 24, 1711. — " We have let Guiscard be buried at 
 last, after showing him pickled in a trough this fortnight 
 for twopence apiece ; and the fellow that showed would 
 point to his body, and, ' See gentlemen, this is the wound 
 that was given him by his grace the Duke of Ormond ' ; 
 and ' this is the wound ' &c. ; and then the show was 
 over, and another set of rabble would come in." 
 
 Theprivateaffairs of his friends comein for frequent notice. 
 
 August 29, 1711. — " I dined to-day with Lord Abercorn, 
 and took my leave of them ; they set out to-morrow for 
 Chester, and, I believe, will now fix in Ireland. They 
 have made a pretty good journey of it. His eldest son is 
 married to a lady with ten thousand pounds ; and his son 
 has t'other day got a prize in the lottery of four thousand 
 pounds, besides two small ones of two hundred pounds 
 each; nay, the family was so fortunate, that my lord 
 bestowing one ticket, which is a hundred pounds, to one 
 of his servants, who had been his page, the young fellow 
 got a prize, which has made it another hundred." 
 
 Novembers, 1711. — " Lord Ashburnham told me to-day 
 at the coffee-house that Lord Harley ^ was yesterday morning 
 married to the Duke of Newcastle's daughter, the great 
 heiress, and it got all about the town. But I saw Lord 
 Harley yesterday at noon in his nightgown,^ and he dined 
 in the city with Prior and others, so it is not true ; but I 
 hope it will be so, for I know it has been privately manag- 
 ing this long time ; the lady will not have half her father's 
 estate, for the duke left Lord Pelham's son his heir. The 
 widow duchess will not stand to the will, and she is now 
 
 ' Eldest son of the Earl of Oxford. 
 
 ° The term nightgown, at this time, was used for dressing-gown. 
 
150 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 at law with Pelham. However, at worst, the girl will 
 have about ten thousand pounds a year to support the 
 honour, for lord treasurer will never save a groat for 
 himself. Lord Harley is a very valuable young gentleman, 
 and they say the girl is handsome, and has good sense, 
 but red hair." 
 
 March 2, 1712. — " I was awakened at three this 
 morning, my man and the people of the house telling me 
 of a great fire in the Haymarket. I slept again, and two 
 hours after my man came in again, and told me it was my 
 poor brother ^ Sir William Wyndham's house burnt, and 
 that two maids, leaping out of an upper room to avoid the 
 fire, both fell on their heads, one of them upon the iron 
 spikes before the door, and both lay dead in the streets. 
 It is supposed to have been some carelessness of one or 
 both those maids. The Duke of Ormond was there 
 helping to put out the fire. Brother Wyndham gave 
 £6,000 but a few months ago for that house, as he told 
 me, and it was very richly furnished. I shall know more 
 particulars at night. He (Wyndham) married Lady 
 Catherine Seymour, the Duke of Somerset's daughter; 
 you know her, I believe. At night. — Wyndham's young 
 child escaped very narrowly ; Lady Catherine escaped 
 barefoot : they all went to Northumberland House. Mr. 
 Bridge's house, next door, is damaged much, and was 
 likely to be burnt. Wyndham has lost above ;;f 10,000 by 
 this accident — his lady above a thousand pounds' worth of 
 clothes. It was a terrible accident. He was not at court 
 to-day." 
 
 Then we get a characteristic story about the Duchess 
 of Marlborough's meanness. 
 
 ' Wyndham was a member of Ihe literary club above mentioned, 
 the members of which called themselves brothers. Swift thus speaks 
 of Mr. Masham's little boy as his nephew, Masham also being a 
 member. 
 
In the Great World. 151 
 
 April II, 1712. — " I dined at lord treasurer's, with his 
 Saturday company. . . . Lord treasurer showed us a 
 small picture, enamelled work, and set in gold, worth 
 about twenty pounds : a picture, I mean, of the queen, 
 which she gave to the Duchess of Marlborough, set in 
 diamonds. When the duchess was leaving England, she 
 took off all the diamonds, and gave the picture to one 
 Mrs. Higgins (an old intriguing woman whom everybody 
 knows), bidding her make the best of it she could. Lord 
 treasurer sent to Mrs. Higgins for this picture, and gave 
 her a hundred pounds for it. Was ever such an ungrate- 
 ful beast as that duchess ? Or did you ever hear such a 
 story ? . . . She takes off the diamonds, and gives away 
 the picture to an insignificant woman, as a thing of no 
 consequence, and gives it to her to sell, like a piece of 
 old-fashioned plate. Is she not a detestable slut ? " 
 
 Swift was now at last able to indulge his fondness for 
 becoming a patron. There is quite a pathetic story 
 connected with one of his proteges named Harrison. He 
 is first mentioned in 17 10. 
 
 October 13, 1710. — " There is a young fellow here in 
 town we are all fond of, and about a year or two come 
 from the university — one Harrison, a little pretty fellow, 
 with a great deal of wit, good sense, and good nature ; 
 has written some mighty pretty things ; that in your 
 6th Miscellanea about the Sprig of an Orange is his : he 
 has nothing to live on but being governor to one of the 
 Duke of Queensberry's sons for forty pounds a year. The 
 fine fellows are always inviting him to the tavern, and 
 make him pay his club. Henley is a great crony of his : 
 they are often at the tavern at six or seven shillings 
 reckoning, and always make the poor lad pay his full 
 share. A colonel and a lord were at him and me the 
 same way to-night : I absolutely refused, and made 
 
152 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 Harrison lag behind, and persuaded him not to go to 
 them." 
 
 Swift took him up, introduced him to the ministry, and 
 exerted himself so much that the young man was appointed 
 secretary to the English Embassy at Utrecht. It was a 
 magnificent post, the salary being a thousand pounds a 
 year. But, alas, salaries in those happy-go-lucky days 
 though magnificent in amount were rarely paid with much 
 regularity. Poor Harrison returned from Utrecht in 
 January, 1713, without having received a groat. He was, 
 on the other hand, three or four hundred pounds in debt. 
 "Harrison was with me this morning," says Swift; "we 
 talked for three hours, and then I carried him to court. 
 When we went down to the door of my lodgings I found 
 a coach waited for him ; I chid him for it, but he whispered 
 me it was impossible to do otherwise ; and in the coach 
 he told me he had not one farthing in his pocket to pay 
 it ; and therefore took the coach for the whole day, and 
 intended to borrow money somewhere or other." Yet 
 even now, though Swift dunned the Government on 
 Harrison's behalf, nothing was done. At last, on February 
 I2th, a letter came to Swift to say that his poor protege 
 was very ill with inflammation of the lungs. Swift hurried 
 to his bedside, found him in great danger, and went 
 off to Lord Bolingbroke. The latter, with characteristic 
 generosity,^ sent thirty guineas out of his own pocket and 
 gave Swift an order for one hundred pounds on the 
 treasury. Swift obtained the latter sum the following 
 day. Let him tell the sequel of the episode himself. 
 
 February 14, 1713. — " I took Parnell (the poet) this 
 
 ' For this compare Swift's Journal for February 13th, same year: 
 " I was to see a poor poet, one Mr. Diaper, in a nasty garret, very 
 side. I gave him twenty guineas from Lord Bolingbroke." Swift 
 also notes Bolingbroke's kindness to the poet Parnell. 
 
In the Great World. 153 
 
 morning, and we walked to see poor Harrison. I had tlie 
 hundred pounds in my pocket, I told Parnell I was 
 afraid to knock at the door ; my mind misgave me. I 
 knocked, and his man in tears told me his master was 
 dead an hour before. Think what grief this is to me ! I 
 went to his mother, and have been ordering things for his 
 funeral, with as little cost as possible, to-morrow at ten 
 at night. Lord ti'easurer was much concerned when I 
 told him. I could not dine with lord treasurer, nor any- 
 where else J but got a bit of meat towards evening. No 
 loss ever grieved me so much : poor creature 1 I send 
 this away to-night, and am sorry it must go while I am 
 in so much grief." 
 
 In the spring of 1712 London was much alarmed by 
 the exploits of the Mohocks. The latter were young 
 men of family who "... flown with insolence and wine " 
 sallied forth nightly into the streets and took advantage 
 of the inefficiency of the watch and the absence of 
 illumination to smash windows, pull down signs, wrench 
 off door-knockers, and, what was more important, waylay 
 and assault peaceable citizens. Their outrages soon 
 became so flagrant as to cause a general scare. A 
 royal proclamation was published against them. Troops 
 were called out to patrol the streets. Addison and Steele 
 devoted whole pages of The Spectator to accounts of their 
 misdeeds. They were supposed to be especially hostile 
 to prominent adherents of the Tory Government, and 
 Swift himself was consequently in much alarm, as the 
 following extracts will show. 
 
 March 8, 1712.— " Did I tell you of a race of rakes, 
 called the Mohocks, that play the devil about this town 
 every night, slit people's noses, and bid them, &c. ? " 
 
 March gth. — " . . . Young Davenant was telling 
 us at court how he was set upon by the Mohocks, and 
 
154 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 how they ran his chair through with a sword. It is not 
 safe being in the streets at night for them. The Bishop 
 of Salisbury's son is said to be of the gang. They are 
 all Whigs ; and a great lady sent to me to speak to her 
 father and to lord treasurer, to have a care of them, and 
 to be careful likewise of myself; for she heard they had 
 malicious intentions against the ministers and their friends. 
 I know not whether there be anything in this, though 
 others are of the same opinion. The weather still con- 
 tinues very line and frosty. I walked in the park this 
 evening, and came home early to avoid the Mohocks." 
 
 March 12, 1712. — " Here is the devil and all to do with 
 these Mohocks. Grub Street papers about them fly like 
 lightning, and a list printed of near eighty put into several 
 prisons, and all a lie ; and I begin almost to think there 
 is no truth, or very little, in the whole story. He that 
 abused Davenant was a drunken gentleman ; none of that 
 gang. My man tells me that one of the lodgers heard in 
 a coffee-house, publicly, that one design of the Mohocks 
 was upon me if they could catch me; and though I believe 
 nothing of it, I forbear walking late, and they have put 
 me to the charge of some shillings already." 
 
 March 15, 1712. — " I am come home and got to bed. 
 I came afoot, but had my man with me. Lord treasurer 
 advised me not to go in a chair, because the Mohocks 
 insult chairs more than they do those on foot. They 
 think there is some mischievous design in those villains." 
 
 March i5th. — " Lord Winchelsea told me to-day that 
 two of the Mohocks had caught a maid of old Lady Win- 
 chelsea's at the door of their house in the park, with a 
 candle, and had just lighted out somebody. They cut all 
 her face, and beat her, without any provocation." 
 
 March 26th. — " Our Mohocks go on still and cut 
 people's faces every night, but they sha'n't cut mine. I 
 
In the Great World. 155 
 
 like it better as it is. The dogs will cost me at least a 
 crown a week in chairs. I believe the souls of your 
 houghers of cattle have got into them, and now they don't 
 distinguish between a cow and a Christian." 
 
 Duelling was extremely in vogue at this time. The 
 affair referred to in the ensuing passage arose from a mere 
 tavern quarrel. 
 
 Chelsea, May 9, 1711. — " Dr. Freind came this morn- 
 ing to visit Atterbury's lady and children as a physician, 
 and persuaded me to go with him to town in his chariot. 
 He told me he had been an hour before with Sir Cholmley 
 Dering, Charles Dering's nephew, and head of that family 
 in Kent, for which he is knight of the shire. He said he 
 left him dying of a pistol-shot quite through the body, by 
 one Mr. Thornhill. They fought at sword and pistol this 
 morning in Tuttle Fields, their pistols so near that the 
 muzzles touched. Thornhill discharged first, and Dering, 
 having received the shot, discharged his pistol as he was 
 falling, so it went into the air. The story of this quarrel 
 is long. Thornhill had lost seven teeth by a kick in the 
 mouth from Dering, who had first knocked him down. 
 This was above a fortnight ago. Dering was next week 
 to be married to a fine young lady. This makes a noise 
 here ; but you won't value it." 
 
 Sir Cholmley forgave his adversary on his death-bed. 
 Thornhill was brought to trial, but acquitted. This, how- 
 ever, availed him little. 
 
 On August 21, 1711, Swift writes : — " Thornhill, who 
 killed Sir Cholmley Dering, was murdered by two men 
 on Turnham Green last Monday night ; as they stabbed 
 him, they bid him remember Sir Cholmley Dering. They 
 had quarrelled at Hampton Court, and followed and 
 stabbed him on horseback." 
 
 This duel, however, sinks into insignificance when com- 
 
156 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 pared with that between the Duke of Hamilton and Lord 
 Mohun. The latter was a man of very bad reputation. 
 A gambler, a debauchee, and an assassin, he had long 
 acted as "bully" to the Whig party.i The Duke of Hamil- 
 ton, a prominent Tory, was, in 1712, designated Ambas- 
 sador to France. Mohun, who was engaged in a lawsuit 
 with his grace, seized the opportunity to force a quarrel 
 on him. They met early in the morning of November 
 15th, in Hyde Park, the duke being attended by his kins- 
 man. Colonel Hamilton, Mohun by General Macartney. 
 In accordance with the custom of the time, the seconds 
 engaged as well as the principals. The weapons used 
 were swords. After a brief but furious exchange of passes, 
 the duke ran his opponent through the body, but received 
 a bad wound himself at the same moment. What then 
 happened is uncertain. The two seconds desisted at the 
 fall of their principals, and ran up to render assistance ; 
 and it was declared that Macartney now treacherously 
 gave the already wounded duke a mortal stab. Macart- 
 ney promptly fled, but returned on hearing that a reward 
 was offered for his apprehension. In spite of Colonel 
 Hamilton's testimony, he was found guilty of manslaughter 
 only, and, by " pleading his clergy," escaped all punish- 
 ment. Swift's account of this affair and its consequences 
 is so interesting that I append it in full : 
 
 November 15, 1712. — "Before this comes to your hands 
 you will have heard of the most terrible accident that 
 hath almost ever happened. This morning, at eight, my 
 man brought me word that Duke Hamilton had fought 
 with Lord Mohun and killed him, and was brought home 
 
 ' Mohun had already assisted his friend, Captain Hill, to murder 
 the actor Will Mountford, Mrs. Bracegirdle's favourite. My readers 
 will remember the part played by Mohun, and the Hamilton-Mohun 
 duel, in Thackeray's novel of " Esmond." 
 
In the Great World. 157 
 
 wounded. I immediately sent him to the duke's house, 
 in St. James' Square; but the porter could hardly answer 
 for tears, and a great rabble was about the house. In 
 short, they fought at seven this morning. The dog 
 Mohun was killed on the spot ; and, while the duke was 
 over him, Mohun shortened his sword, stabbed him in at 
 the shoulder to the heart. The duke was helped towards 
 the cake-house by the ring in Hyde Park (where they 
 fought), and died on the grass, before he could reach the 
 house, and was brought home in his coach by eight, while 
 the poor duchess was asleep. Macartney and one Hamil- 
 ton were the seconds, who fought likewise, and both are 
 fled. I am told that a footman of Lord Mohun's stabbed 
 Duke Hamilton, and some say Macartney did so too. 
 Mohun gave the affront, and yet sent the challenge. I 
 am infinitely concerned for the poor duke, who was a 
 frank, honest, good-natured man. I loved him well, and 
 I think he loved me better. He had the greatest mind in 
 the world to go with me to France, but durst not tell it 
 me ; and those he did tell said I could not be spared, 
 which was true. They have removed the poor duchess to 
 a lodging in the neighbourhood, where I have been with 
 her two hours, and am just come away. I never saw so 
 melancholy a scene ; for, indeed, all reasons for real grief 
 belong to her ; nor is it possible for anybody to be a 
 greater loser in all regards. She has moved m.y very 
 soul. The lodging was inconvenient, and they would 
 have removed her to another ; but I would not suffer it, 
 because it had no room backward, and she must have 
 been tortured with the noise of the Grub Street screamers 
 mentioning her husband's murder in her ears." 
 
 November i6th. — " I sent a letter early this morning to 
 Lady Masham, to beg to write some comforting words to 
 the poor duchess. . . . She has promised me to get the 
 
158 Dean Swift and his Writings^ 
 
 queen to write to the duchess kindly on this occasion, 
 and to-morrow I will beg lord treasurer to visit and 
 comfort her. I have been with her two hours again, and 
 find her worse. Her violences not so frequent, but her 
 melancholy more formal and settled. She has abundance 
 of wit and spirit ; about thirty-three years old ; handsome 
 and airy, and seldom spared anybody that gave her the 
 least provocation, by which she had many enemies and 
 few friends. Lady Orkney, her sister-in-law, is come to 
 town on this occasion, and has been to see her, and 
 behaved herself with great humanity. They have been 
 always very ill together, and the poor duchess could not 
 have patience when people told her I went often to Lady 
 Orkney's. But I am resolved to make them friends; for 
 the duchess is now no more the subject of envy, and 
 must learn humility from the severest master — Afflic- 
 tion. I design to make the ministry put out a procla- 
 mation (if it can be found proper) against that villain 
 Macartney. . . ." 
 
 November 17th. — " I was to-day at noon with the 
 Duchess of Hamilton again, after I had been with Lady 
 Orkney, and charged her to be kind to her sister in 
 affliction. The duchess told me Lady Orkney had been 
 with her, and that she did not treat her as gently as 
 she ought. They hate one another; but I will try to 
 patch it up. . . ." 
 
 January 14, 1713. — " I then went to the Duchess of 
 Hamilton, who never grieved, but raged and stormed 
 and railed. She is pretty quiet now, but has a diabolical 
 temper." 
 
 December i8th. — " We hear Macartney is gone over 
 to Ireland. Was it not comical for a gentleman to be 
 set upon by highwaymen, and to tell them he was Macart- 
 ney ! Upon which they brought him to a justice of 
 
In the Great World. 159 
 
 peace, in hopes of reward, and the rogues were sent to 
 gaol. Was it not great presence of mind ? " 
 
 From the purely personal point of view, the chief interest 
 of the " Journal to Stella " lies in the light it throws on 
 Swift's own feelings towards the latter. In the passages 
 in which she is mentioned he drops the politician and 
 becomes the man. Written in the "little language" in 
 which he had prattled with her when a child at Moor Park, 
 they show how intimate and exclusive was the bond 
 between them. They teem with abbreviations, allusions, 
 and pet names, which could be known to them alone. 
 Swift himself is PDFR, FR, or Podefar, which, accord- 
 ing to Mr. Forster, may be interpreted as equivalent to, 
 poor dear foolish rogue. Sometimes he styles himself 
 Presto, the ItaHan equivalent of " Swift." Stella is PPT, 
 i.e., poppet, or poor pretty thing, but her most frequent 
 designation is MD, my dear. DD or D stands for 
 Stella's companion Mrs. Dingley, the latter being also 
 indicated by the letters ME, Madame Elderly. FW 
 stands for farewell. LFLE may mean " truly," " lazy," 
 or may be intended as an exclamation " there, there ! " 
 But other words in the passages meant for Stella are, as 
 it were, " translated " into the little language. " When I 
 am writing in our language I make up my mouth just as 
 if I were speaking it ! " The little language, in fact, is 
 that of a man imitating the prattle of a child. As editors 
 of Swift have usually omitted or transformed passages 
 written in the little language, I append a few original 
 illustrations ' : 
 
 February 23, 1713. — " I am going out; and must carry 
 zis in my Pottick to give it at some general post-house. 
 I will talk further with 00 at night. I suppose in my next 
 
 ' See Forster, " Life of Swift," Blc. vi., sections ii. and iii. 
 
i6o Dean Swift and his Writings. , 
 
 I shall answer a letter from MD that will be sent me. 
 On Tuesday it will be four weeks since I had your last. 
 . . . Farewell, mine deelest rife deelest char Ppt, MD 
 MD MD Ppt, FW, Lele MD, ME, ME, ME, ME adeu. 
 Lazy ones, Lele, Lele, all a Lele." 
 
 April 6, 1713. — " It is rainy weather again ; nevle saw 
 ze zike. This letter shall go to-morrow ; remember, ung 
 oomens, it is seven weeks since oor last, and I allow 00 
 but five weeks ; but 00 have been galloping in the country 
 to Swanton's. Oh pray tell Swanton I had his letter. . . . 
 Nite, deelest MD." April 7. — "I have not been abroad, 
 you may be sure ; so I can say nothing to-day, but that I 
 rove MD Ppt tettle zan ever if possibere. . . . Does this 
 perplex you ? Hat care I ? But rove Pdfr, sawey 
 Pdfr. Farewell, deelest MD, MD, MD, FW FW FW 
 ME ME ME Lele. . . . Nite de Sollahs. Late. Rove 
 Pdfr. 
 
 How eagerly he received news of her is shown by his 
 countless allusions to her daily pursuits in Ireland. Night 
 and day she is the great solace of his thoughts. Decem- 
 ber 1, 1710, he writes : — " I was dreaming the most melan- 
 choly things in the world of poor Stella, and was grieving 
 and crying all night. Pshaw ! It is foolish. I will rise 
 and divert myself ; so good morrow, and God of His infinite 
 mercy keep and protect you." 
 
 Constantly in the course of a letter he breaks into pretty 
 childish rhymes : 
 
 " Be you lords, or be you earls, 
 You must write to naughty girls." 
 
 Or take this New Year's greeting for January i, 
 1711: 
 
 " I wish you both a merry New Year, 
 Roast beef, mince pies, and good strong beer, 
 
In the Great World. l6l 
 
 And me a share of your good cheer ; 
 That I was there or you were here, 
 And you are a little saucy dear." 
 
 He draws up rules for writing : 
 
 " Mr. White and Mr. Red 
 Write' to MD when abed : 
 Mr. Black and Mr. Brown 
 Write to MD when you are adown : 
 Mr. Oak and Mr. Willow 
 Write to MD on your pillow." 
 
 A hard task-mistress to be sure ! But his toils are 
 richly rewarded when he receives a letter from her. 
 
 London, March 28, 1711. — " '0 faith, you're an impu- 
 dent, saucy couple of sluttekins for presuming to write so 
 soon,' said I to myself this morning ; who knows but there 
 may be a letter from MD at the coffee-house ? Well, you 
 must know, and so I just now sent Patrick, and he brought 
 me three letters, but not one from MD ; no, indeed, for I 
 read all the superscriptions; and not one from MD. One 
 I opened, it was from the Archbishop ; t'other I opened, 
 it was from Staunton ; the third I took, and looked at the 
 hand. ' Whose hand is this ? ' says I ; yes, says I, 
 ' Whose hand is this ? ' Then there was wax between 
 the folds : then I began to suspect ; then I peeped ; faith, 
 it was Wall's hand after all : then I opened it in a rage, 
 and then it was little MD's hand, dear, little, pretty, 
 charming MD's sweet hand again." 
 
 And this is how Swift begins a letter in answer : 
 
 London, April 5, 1711. — "Now let us proceed to 
 examine a saucy letter from one madam MD. God 
 Almighty bless poor dear Stella, and send her a great 
 many birthdays, all happy, and healthy, and wealthy, and 
 with me ever together, and never asunder again, unless by 
 
 12 
 
1 62 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 chance. When I find you are happy or merry there, it 
 makes me so here, and I can hardly imagine you absent 
 when I am reading your letter' or writing to you." 
 
 In the minute description which Swift gives to Stella of 
 his daily life during this period, one traces the feeling 
 which prompts every lover, in writing to a mistress, to 
 imbue her with his own feelings and envelope her with 
 his own individuality. In the letters to Stella, Swift 
 found a world to himself in which the colder interests of 
 statesmanship and society intruded not — a world, too, in 
 which he could escape even from that conjured spirit 
 which in his lonely moments tormented him with threaten- 
 ings of he knew not what. That Stella alone engrossed 
 his heart is obvious to any one who will trouble to read a 
 few pages of the Journal. But Swift would not have been 
 himself had he not, during this three years' absence, formed 
 another tie. As early as 1708 Swift had become acquainted 
 with the widow of a Dutch merchant, named Mrs. Van- 
 homrigh. She had two sons and two daughters ; Hester, 
 the elder of the two latter, being destined to play in Swift's 
 career a romantic but lamentable part. On his coming to 
 London in 1710 he took lodgings in Bury Street, in which 
 the Vanhomrigh's lived; and his connection with the 
 family soon became extremely intimate. 
 
 Hester Vanhomrigh was now in her twenty-first year. 
 To an engaging air she united intellectual ability and a 
 taste for the higher arts unknown to the ladies of that 
 time. Swift loved the adoration of women as much as the 
 homage of men. Between him and Hester Vanhomrigh a 
 close friendship soon arose. He gave her the fi^nciful name 
 of Vanessa. He corresponded with her in terms of interest 
 and familiarity. Dining constantly at her mother's house, 
 he showed his relish for the witty graces of her conversation. 
 Most of all he delighted in the half-assumed, half-real 
 
In the Great World. 163 
 
 Reference with which she ifell in with the whims and 
 caprices of his imperious nature. Though his own fidelity 
 to Stella remained unaltered, he accepted the gifts of the 
 gods with no thought of the morrow. But what was play 
 to Swift was to Vanessa a grim reality. Of his prior 
 entanglements She knew nothing. That one of his abilities 
 should single her out and show an unaffected delight in 
 her society could have but one meaning; and 'wliile 
 Swift's heart remained untouched, Vanessa had learnt 
 to love him with all the intensity of a cultured but ardent 
 hature. - - 
 
 •' However great his indifference to the feelings of others, 
 it is hard to believe that Swift was ignorant of this inevit- 
 able result. Certainly he took no steps to thwart it. 
 During the whole of his stay in England his visits to the 
 Vanhomrigh's never fell off; their home, in fact, became 
 a house of call where he dined or spent the evening when 
 not specially engaged elsewhere. On February 14, 171 1, 
 he writes : — " This was Mrs. Vanhomrigh's daughter's 
 birthday, and Mr. Ford and I were invited to dinner to 
 keep it, and we spent the evening there drinking punch. 
 That was our way of beginning Lent." They evidently 
 began Lent well, for on the following morning the Rev. 
 Dr. Swift was far too ill to go to church. In Swift's frequent 
 references to Mrs. Vanhomri,';;h's hospitality, the graces of 
 the fair Vanessa remain untold. But Stella, with feminine 
 curiosity, heightened by love's natural alarm, began to grow 
 suspicious. She could understand Swift's constant visits to 
 the leaders of the political or social world. But who were 
 these Vanhomrighs ? Are they people of consequence ? she 
 asks him. If not, why does he go there so often ? Swift 
 trying, as men will always try, to put back the evil day, 
 waits a little, and then writes back to say that the Van- 
 homrigh's are people of very great consequence. Lady 
 
164 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 Betty Butler goes there; also, Lady Betty Germaine ! 
 Wherefore, why should npt Dr. Swift go there too ? 
 
 By the date of Swift's departure for Ireland in June, 
 1713, relations with Vanessa were reaching a crisis. 
 Womanly refinement prevented a declaration of her love ; 
 but she appeals for sympathy and craves a continuance of 
 their affection in terms of heart-broken despair. Yet even 
 now, either Swift's courage failed him, or pride at his poor 
 slave's abasement proved too strong for his better nature. 
 He answered in terms which might mean everything or 
 nothing, and sailed for Ireland, reserving for himself the 
 full expectation of endless trouble and for Vanessa a 
 frightful legacy of woe. 
 
CHAPTER VI. 
 
 THE TOR V DO WNFALL. 
 
 Swift Installed Dean of St. Patrick's — Money troubles — Archbishop 
 King — Swift goes to Laracor — Regrets England — Decline of the 
 Tories during his absence — Quarrel Between Oxford and Boling- 
 broke — Swift pressed to return — Consents— Letter to Lord Oxford 
 on the death of his daughter — Renewed quarrel with Steele — 
 Attacks on the latter in the "Importance of the Guardian " and 
 the " Public Spirit of the Whigs "■ — The parliamentary struggle — 
 The succession question — Increasing bitterness between Oxford 
 and Bolingbroke — Swift's attempt to reconcile them — His error 
 — Literary life — Swift's depression at the state of affairs — He 
 retires to Letcombe— Delight of the Whigs — Their lampoons — 
 Relations with Vanessa — Continued contest between the ministers 
 — Bolingbrpke's vigour — Oxford at last dismissed — Bolingbroke's 
 betrayal in the hour of triumph — Tory collapse — Swift returns to 
 Ireland. 
 
 On June 13, 1713, Swift was installed Dean of St. 
 Patrick's. The deanery was worth about ^Tyoo a 
 }'ear, and Swift was able to retain his living of Laracor. 
 He was, however, compelled to pay to his predecessor, 
 Dr. Sterne, the sum of ;f 800 for the deanery house ; first- 
 fruits amounted to £150 ; and the fees for patent and 
 installation brought the initial cost up to £1,000. He 
 applied, through Lord Oxford, for a special grant to this 
 amount from the treasury. But there seemed small 
 chance of a favourable I'eply, and Dr. Swift ruefully con- 
 cluded that it would be a considerable time before he 
 
 16S 
 
1 66 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 derived any real advantage from his new preferment. His 
 superior, Dr. King, Archbisliop of Dublin, was the most 
 unsympathetic of mankind. At a time when Swift's 
 energies were being strained to the utmost in a great 
 political struggle, and his social talents were exacting the 
 admiration of a proud aristocracy. King had written to 
 suggest, as a fit subject for his abilities, the composition of 
 some work on Divinity. " Your knowledge of the world 
 and reading," said his lordship with unconscious sarcasm, 
 " will enable you to furnish such a piece, with such un- 
 common' remarks^ as will render it both profitable and 
 agreeable above most things that pass the press." " A 
 
 rare spark this, with a ! " writes Swift to Stella, his 
 
 fury breaking out against this would-be mentor. When 
 Swift, full of rage at the way he had been shelved, came 
 back to Dublin, King put himself forward again. Swift's 
 predecessor had begun to build a steeple for St. Patrick's 
 Church. "Bricks and lime were good and cheap," said 
 his lordship, and if Swift pushed on the work he would 
 give great satisfaction to the good people of Dublin. 
 
 The change from the throbbing social and political life 
 of London to its feeble imitation in the Irish capital, soon 
 became unendurable. As was usually the case at times of 
 depression, Swift suffered fearfully from his old complaints 
 of giddiness and deafness. After a few vveeks of Dublin, 
 therefore, he hurried off to the seclusion- of Laracor. " I 
 am fitter now," he said, " to look after willows and to 
 cut hedges than to meddle with affairs of state. I must 
 order one of the workmen to drive thpse cows out of my 
 island and make up the ditch again : a work much more 
 proper for a country vicar than driving out factions and 
 fencing against them." But the willows cried peace when 
 there was no peace. Stella, with her friend Mrs. Dingley, 
 was settled at a cottage in the neighbourhood. Bui; 
 
The Tory Downfall. 167 
 
 Swift's intimacy with her was clouded by the memory of 
 Vanessa. Undeterred by his coldness, the latter continued 
 to write by every post. " I really believe," she says, 
 " before you leave Ireland, I shall give you just reason to 
 wish I did not know my letters, or at least that I could not 
 write ; and I had rather you should wish so than entirely 
 forget me. Confess, have you thought of me once since 
 you wrote to my mother at Chester ? . . . Mr. Lewis has 
 given me the 'Dialogues des Morts'; and I am so charmed 
 with them that I am resolved to quit my body, let the 
 consequence be what it will, except you will talk to me, 
 for I find no conversation on earth comparable to yours ; 
 so if you care I should stay on earth, do but talk, and you 
 will keep me with pleasure." To return to England meant 
 a meeting with Vanessa. But Swift was too confident of 
 his own powers to fear the issue. Pie had a low idea of 
 •the strength of woman's love, and even now he thought 
 that a little diplomacy would cure his admirer's infatua- 
 tion. It may be, too, that he actually missed her brilliant 
 wit and educated talk, and with characteristic indifference 
 to the possible results of his weakness, wished once again 
 to taste their charms. Swift began to dream of England. 
 He wrote to Atterbury,^ complaining that he was ill at 
 ease, and hinting at a visit to that prelate in the coming 
 October. Fortunately the course of events soon gave him 
 an excuse to return still sooner. 
 
 With the departure of Swift from London the Tory 
 ministry had fallen upon, evil days. The successful 
 completion of the peace seemed to have exhausted 
 their energies. Bolingbroke, with a bold contempt for 
 the economic fallacies of the time, had brought for- 
 ward a commercial treaty with France which practically 
 amounted to free trade. After long debates it was thrown 
 
 ' Then Bishop of Rochester and Dean of Westminster. 
 
i68 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 out by a House of Commons in which manufacturing 
 interests were strongly represented ; and the Whigs, 
 flushed with success, were carrying on the campaign 
 against the Government with the most implacable de- 
 termination. The charge that the Government were 
 secretly plotting a Jacobite restoration on Anne's death 
 had acquired strength from the attempted approximation 
 to France, and was being worked with great effect. But 
 the weakest point of the Tory ministry was to be found in 
 their own disunion. Bolingbroke had long viewed the 
 incapacity and procrastination of the lord treasurer with 
 bitter disgust. The origin of this feeling was sometimes 
 assigned to the popularity which Oxford had, to the preju- 
 dice of his younger colleague, acquired from Guiscard's 
 attempt two and a half years before. Hostility between 
 the two ministers, however, was inevitable from the veiy 
 first. As Swift put it in his " Inquiry into the Behaviour 
 of the Queen's last Ministry " : 
 
 " This minister (Lord Oxford) had stronger passions 
 than the secretary, but kept them under stricter govern- 
 ment. My Lord Bolingbroke was of a nature frank and 
 open, and as men of great genius are superior to common 
 rules, he seldoin gave himself the trouble of disguising or 
 subduing his resentments, although he was ready enough 
 to forget them. In matters of state, as the earl was too 
 reserved, so perhaps the other was too free, not from any 
 incontinency of talk, but from the mere contempt of multi- 
 plying secrets, although the graver counsellors imputed 
 this liberty of speech to vanity or lightness. And upon 
 the whole, no two men could differ more in their diversions, 
 their studies, their ways of transacting business, their 
 choice of company, or conversation." 
 
 Like Canning in the case of Castlereagh, it soon became 
 clear tO Bolingbroke that his colleague's continuance in 
 
^y'l, /f I tr^/a >/(■/./. C>a>/ ('/ (.Wr^n/ 
 
The Tory Downfall. 169 
 
 office meant ruin, A ministry cannot live on the memory 
 of past successes. Tiie peace completed, a new policy 
 was needed. But it was hopeless to seek for this from 
 Oxford. So far from originating, the lord treasurer refused 
 even to accept suggestions. When asked for a statement 
 of the ministerial programme, he drank claret and smiled. 
 If pressed, he drank more claret, and said " all would be 
 well.'' If bullied, he collapsed into vacancy. 
 
 Mr. Erasmus Lewis, Oxford's private secretary, re- 
 membered that the one person who enjoyed enough 
 influence with both Bolingbroke and Oxford to arrange 
 their differences was Swift. He soon began to write 
 letter after letter imploring Swift's presence for this 
 important purpose. The lord treasurer himself favoured 
 the proposal. The invitation was none the less palatable 
 because it amounted to a confession on the part of the 
 ministry that in discarding Swift they had committed a 
 grave mistake. Swift jumped at the proposal, and on 
 August 31st he left Ireland in such hurry as to omit 
 saying good-bye to Archbishop King, who was grievously 
 angered by the slight. Parliament had been dissolved in 
 July, and Swift thus arrived on the eve of a general 
 election. He received a warm welcome from all his 
 friends, especially from Lord Oxford, and soon settled 
 down in the midst of his old circle. In November the 
 lord treasurer suffered a heavy bereavement by the loss 
 of his daughter, Lady Carmarthen. Swift's letter of 
 condolence on this occasion is so characteristic of the 
 writer, and so superior in style to the usual epistles of 
 this nature, that the following extract from it may be of 
 interest : 
 
 "November 21, 1713. 
 "... I have often said to your lordship, 'That I never 
 knew any one by many degrees so happy in their domestics 
 
1 70 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 as you ' ; and I affirm you are so still, though not by so 
 many degrees : from whence it is very obvious that your 
 lordship should reflect upon what you have left, and not 
 upon what you have lost. . 
 
 " To say the truth, my lord, you began to be too happy 
 for a mortal ; much more happy than is usual with the 
 dispensations of Providence long to continue. You had 
 been the great instrument of preserving your country 
 from. foreign and domestic ruin ; you have had the felicity 
 of establishing your family in the greatest lustre, without 
 any obligation to the bounty of your prince, or any 
 industry of your own : you have triumphed over the 
 violence and treachery of your enemies by your courage 
 and abilities : and, by the steadiness of your temper, over 
 the inconstancy and caprice of your friends. Perhaps 
 your lordship has felt too much complacency within your- 
 self upon this universal success : and God Almighty, who 
 would not disappoint your endeavours for the public, 
 thought fit to punish you with a domestic loss, where He 
 knew your heart was most exposed ; and, at the same 
 time, has fulfilled His own wise purposes by rewarding in 
 a better life that excellent creature he has taken from you." 
 
 But political affairs were already engaging Swift's most 
 earnest attention. The present struggle was very different 
 to that which he had quitted a few months ago. As 
 happens in all public contests, the great question of the day 
 once settled, hatred of persons had taken the place of 
 hatred of abuses. The Treaty of Utrecht had been signed 
 and sealed. The ministry, sphinx-like, gave no sign of 
 their next intended measure ; and the leaders on each 
 side had no other resource but mutual revilings.. Every, 
 lover of literature will, regret that, in this dishonourable 
 task, the chief burden should have been thrown on Steele 
 and Swift. Some malignant genius had inspired honest 
 
The , Tory Downfall. iji 
 
 Richard Stdele with th6 idea that the care" spent on thos& 
 exquisite pictures of contemporary manners, which have 
 made The Spectator of Queen Anne's I'eign a possession for 
 all time, was thrown away. He m.ust needs blossom forth 
 into a great political writer, and waste talents designed 
 for the amusement of succeeding ages on the ephemeral 
 interests of party warfare.' The Treaty of Utrecht had 
 declared that the fortifications of Dunkirk v^ere to be 
 dismantled. ^The Whigs declared that the Tory Govern- 
 ment, in theif fondness for France, were conniving at an 
 evasion of ^ this a:rticle, and Steele was called upon to 
 state the Whig view in a pamphlet entitled, ." The Im- 
 portance of Dunkirk." On the Tory side. Swift promptly 
 answered it, December, 1713, by " The Importance of 
 The Guardian." The title of the latter indicates its 
 import. The Guardian was Steele's own paper, and Swift's 
 pamphlet was little more than a bitter personal attack on 
 Steele himself. Steele rejoined by what was intended to_ 
 be a crushing blow in " The Crisis," a long and laboured 
 indictment of the Treaty of Utrecht and its authors.- 
 Swift, whose skill in the talent of abuse gathered strength 
 from its own exercise, responded by "The Public Spirit 
 ^f the Whigs." Into the merits of these two pamphlets 
 of Swift's it would be idle to. enter, save in a purely 
 historical work. That Swift used a disgraceful weapon 
 more skilfully than Steele is not a merit on which his 
 biographers would congratulate him ; and Steele's reputa- 
 tion is too firmly fixed to be shaken by the defects of two 
 uninteresting political effusions. The " Importance of 
 The Guardian" conid-in^ the following diatribe against 
 Steele : " To take the height of his learning, you are to 
 
 ' None of his friends took Steele's jiolitics seriously. "I am in a 
 thousand troubles," writes Addison, " about poor Dick, and wish that 
 his zeal, for the public may not be ruinous for himself J' 
 
172 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 suppose a lad just fit for the university, and sent early 
 from thence into the wide world, where he followed every 
 way of life that might least improve or preserve the 
 rudiments he had got. He has no invention, nor is 
 master of a tolerable style; his chief talent is humour, 
 which he sometimes discovers both in writing and dis- 
 course, for after the first bottle he is no disagreeable 
 companion. I never knew him taxed with ill-nature, 
 which has made me wonder how ingratitude came to be 
 his prevailing vice ; and I am apt to think it proceeds 
 more from some unaccountable sort of instinct than pre- 
 meditation. Being the most imprudent man alive, he 
 never follows the advice of his friends, but is wholly at 
 the mercy of fools or knaves, or hurried away by his own 
 caprice, by which he has committed more absurdities in 
 economy, friendship, love, duty, good manners, politics, 
 religion, and writing, than ever fell to one man's share. 
 ... I would only have his friends be cautious not to 
 reward him too liberally ; for, as it was said of Cranmer, 
 ' Do the archbishop an ill turn, and he is your friend for 
 ever ' ; so I do affirm of your member, ' Do Mr. Steele a 
 good turn, and he is your enemy for ever.' " 
 
 In "The Public Spirit of the Whigs," Swift thus 
 describes the appearance of poor Steele's thunderbolt, 
 " The Crisis." "At the destined period the first news we 
 hear is of a huge train of dukes, earls, viscounts, barons, 
 knights, esquires, gentlemen, and others, going to Sam 
 Buckley's, the publisher of 'The Crisis,' to fetch home their 
 cargoes, in order to transmit them by dozens, scores, and 
 hundreds, into the several counties, and thereby to pre- 
 pare the wills and understandings of their friends against 
 the approaching sessions. Ask any of them whether they 
 have read it, they will answer no ; but they have sent it 
 everywhere, and it will do a world of good. It is a 
 
The Tory Downfall. 173 
 
 pamphlet, they hear, against the ministry ; talks of 
 slavery, France, and the Pretender ; they desire no more ; 
 it will settle the wavering, confirm the doubtful, instruct 
 the ignorant, inflame the clamorous, although it never be 
 once looked into. I am told, by those who are expert in 
 the trade, that the author and bookseller of this twelve- 
 penny treatise will be greater gainers than from one 
 edition of any folio that has been published these twenty 
 years. What needy writer would not solicit to work 
 under such masters, who will pay us befoi'ehand, take off 
 as much of our ware as we please at our own rates, and 
 trouble not themselves to examine, either before or after 
 they have bought it, whether it be staple or not ? " 
 
 For the time, victory in this wretched contest lay with 
 the Tories. The Whigs, in spite of the great use they 
 made of the cries, " No foreign influence ! " " No Popish 
 Pretender ! " were beaten at the polls ; and the meeting of 
 parliament on February 16, 1714, seemed to open for the 
 Tories a new lease of power, " There are some who are 
 arrived at that height of malice," said the queen's speech, 
 " as to insinuate that the Protestant succession in the 
 House of Hanover is in danger under my Government." 
 Steele, now member for Stockbridge, had made this very 
 charge in " The Crisis," and after a fierce debate his 
 pamphlet was declared a libel, and himself expelled the 
 House by a majority of 245 to 152. A determined effort 
 was made by the House of Lords to prosecute the anony- 
 mous author of " The Public Spirit of the Whigs," but 
 this came to nothing. Swift had in his pamphlet bitterly 
 reviled the Scotch nobility ; and the Scotch representative 
 peers went in a body to the queen to demand the punish- 
 ment of their libeller. Oxford who, whatever his other 
 failings, could lie with the best of them, issued a procla- 
 mation offering ;^300 reward for the author's apprehension. 
 
i 74 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 But as the only person aware of the criminal's name was 
 Oxford himself, Swift's slumbers remained undisturbed. 
 
 Undeterred by these early failures, the Whigs continued 
 their attack. While Anne lived the Tories were safe. 
 But her health was extremely bad. An illness in the 
 December of 1713 had nearly proved fatal, and the Whigs 
 we're' straining every nerve for the establishment of a 
 ■favourable impression at the court of Hanover, whence the 
 next sovereign, according to the Act of Settlement, was 
 bound to come. They had so thoroughly imbued the 
 ElectresS Sophia and her son Prince George with the 
 -idea that Toryism and Jacobitism were synonymous, that 
 Mr. Thomas Harley, the Government agent who appeared 
 'at Hanover early in 1714, met with a very cold reception. 
 The Whigs won over Schutz, the Hanoverian envoy. 
 Prince George had been created Duke of Cambridge in 
 the peerage of England ; and, in order to have him on the 
 spot, the Whigs now persuaded him to demand his writ 
 so as to take his seat as alord of parliament. For the 
 -moment this new move rather weakened the Whig cause. 
 The queen was rigidly averse to the presence of the 
 electoral prince in England as a sort of memento mori. 
 She wrote a furioua letter to Hanover, which so affected 
 the old Electress Sophia, that shortly after re'ading it the 
 latter was seized with an apoplectic fit, and died on May 
 28th. Prince George stepped into her place as heir 
 apparent to the English throne. From a wise considera- 
 tion for Anne's feelings, he declined' to come over to 
 England, but he was thoroughly in the Whig interest, and 
 the hopes of that party rose higher than ever. 
 
 Meanwhile, the struggle within the ministry increased 
 in bitterness. It would seem th^t the lord treasurer's 
 influence with the queen- was-^ practically gone, and that 
 none knew the fact so Well as he. But he loved the 
 
The Tory Downfall. 175 
 
 appearance of power, and so long as he could retain it 
 proved impervious to invective or contempt. 
 
 " I remember," says Swift, " upon a Saturday, when 
 the ministers and one or two friends of the treasurer con- 
 stantly met to dine at his house, one of the company 
 attacked him very warmly, on account that a certain lord 
 who perpetually opposed the queen's measures was not 
 dismissed from a great employment which, beside other 
 advantages, gave that lord the power of choosing several 
 members of parliament. The treasurer evaded the matter 
 with his usual answer, ' That this was whipping-daj'.' 
 Upon which the secretary, Bolingbroke, turning to me, 
 said, ' It was a strange thing that my- Lord Oxford would 
 not be so kind to his friends and so just to his own 
 innocence as to vindicate himself where he had no blame ; 
 for to his knowledge and the chancellor's (who was then 
 also' present) the treasurer had frequently and earnestly 
 moved the queen upon that very point without effect." 
 Better, as Danton used to say, be a poor shoemaker 
 than a ruler of men ! Of the methods used by Swift to 
 bring about harmony in the ministry and give the Tory 
 policy a definite and clear aim little can be known. From 
 a subsequent letter of his ' it would seem that, seeing the 
 complete incompatibility between Oxford and his col- 
 leagues, Swift actually advised that statesman to resign 
 rather than endanger his whole party by a useless continu- 
 ance in office. He recommended as the heads of a political 
 .scheme — conciliation of the Church, expulsion of Whig 
 swash-bucklers from the army, and the invitation to 
 England, not of the Elector, but of his- grandson, who, 
 while amenable to Tory influences, would be too far 
 from the throne to hurt Anne's prejudices by his presence 
 
 ' Letter to Lord Bolingbroke, August 7, 1714. 
 
176 Dean Szvifi and his Writina^s. 
 
 in England.' But Swift's admiration for the lord 
 treasurer was too profound to allow him to be of real use 
 in the present difficulty. With all his acuteness he saw 
 not that, to save the party, his bounden duty was to throw 
 in his lot with Bolingbroke and press on the war against 
 Oxford without compunction. That affection for a patron 
 and a friend disarmed his hostility against a driveller and 
 a dotard does credit to his heart. None the less, his 
 refusal to turn against Oxford on this occasion is a 
 cardinal mistake of his political career. 
 
 In the general stagnation of all political endeavour Swift 
 found time to renew his relations with Pope, Arbuthnot, 
 and the other wits. The literary society referred to in 
 the "Journal to Stella," was revived and reorganised as the 
 "Scriblerus Club." The members constantly met at the 
 rooms in St. James's Palace occupied by Arbuthnot, then 
 court physician. Proposals were made for a great 
 united satire on pedantic learning, and the apocryphal 
 instructions of Martinus Scriblerus, an imaginary pedant, 
 were actually commenced by Arbuthnot. 
 
 Lord Oxford was delighted with the scheme. The 
 Emperor Ferdinand, during the height of the 1848 re- 
 volution in Vienna, occupied his scanty wits by counting 
 and comparing the number of carriages which passed to 
 right and left in front of his palace windows. In the same 
 way Lord Oxford, " at a time when his all was at stake," 
 sent to the Scriblerus Club every day a fresh copy of 
 doggerel verses, each one more feeble, more drivelling,, 
 more idiotic than the last. One of these effusions, usually 
 printed in Swift's works, and dated April 14, 1714, runs 
 as follows : 
 
 ' See Swift's " Free Thoughts on the present State of Affairs." This 
 pamphlet was not published. 
 
The Tory Downfall. 177 
 
 " I honour the men, sir, 
 
 Who are ready to answer, 
 When I ask them to stand by the queen : 
 
 In spite of orators, 
 
 And blood-thirsty praters, 
 Whose hatred I highly esteem. 
 
 Let our faith's defender 
 
 Keep out every pretender. 
 And long enjoy her own ; 
 
 Thus you four, five, 
 
 May merrily live 
 Till faction is dead as a stone " 
 
 Swift's political hopes sank lower every day. " I 
 never," he wrote to Lord Peterborough on May i8th, "led 
 a life so thoroughly uneasy as I do at present. Our 
 situation is so bad that our enemies could not, without 
 abundance of invention and ability, have placed us so ill 
 if we had left it entirely to their management. . . . The 
 height of honest men's wishes at present is to rub on this 
 session, after which nobody has impudence to expect that 
 we shall not immediately fall to pieces ; nor is anything 
 I write the least secret, even to a Whig footman. The 
 queen is pretty well at present, but the least disorder she 
 has puts us all in alarm, and when it is over we act as 
 if she were immortal. Neither is it possible to make any 
 preparation against an evil day. ... I am sure you 
 would have prevented a great deal of ill if you had con- 
 tinued among us ; but people of my level must be content 
 to have their opinion asked, and to see it not followed." 
 
 The division in the ministry grew worse. At last Swift 
 resolved to give up his thankless task. He met Boling- 
 broke and Oxford for the last time at Lord Masham's 
 towards the end of May, and announced his intention of 
 retiring to the country. He once more warned them of 
 their folly. Lord Bolingbroke was in despair. The lord 
 
 13 
 
178 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 treasurer as usual said that all would still be well. Never 
 was seen such a lord treasurer ! 
 
 The place chosen by Swift for his retreat was the 
 house of an old friend, Mr. Gery, vicar of Letcombe, in 
 Berkshire. The news of his sudden resignation of the 
 post of adviser-in-chief to the Tory ministry was wel- 
 comed by the Whigs with a scream of delight. Swift, 
 who had met the most courtly Whig logician and the 
 foulest Whig libeller on their own ground and beaten 
 them with their own weapons — Swift who, at the most 
 dangerous moment, had never been lacking in resource 
 ■ — Swift, who had endowed Toryism with an object and 
 a principle, had despaired of the present Tory ministry 1 
 Who, then, could hope for it ? Immediately the Whig 
 Grub Street writers rushed upon their prey. One morning 
 saw a blasphemous burlesque: "Essays divine, moral, and 
 political, by the author of the 'Tale of a Tub.'" Another saw 
 a simpler but more bitter effusion entitled, " Hue and Cry 
 after Dean Swift," an obvious parody of Swift's own " Hue 
 and Cry after Dismal." The latter consisted of extracts 
 from an imaginary diary kept by Swift himself. That 
 any one should have at this time obtained access to the 
 "Journal to Stella" is impossible. It is, however, very 
 likely that Swift's habit of keeping a Journal was well 
 known. The following extracts will give an idea of this 
 curious lampoon : 
 
 Thursday. — "Waked with a headache. Said no prayers 
 that morning. Drest immediately. Looked confounded 
 rakish. Repeated verses whilst I was washing my hands. 
 Resolved (whilst I was putting on my gown) to ridicule 
 the orders of bishops, priests, and deacons, after dinner 
 at my Lord Bolingbroke's. Went to drink tea in York 
 buildings. The earl looked queerly. Left him in a huff. 
 Bid him send for me when he was fit for company. Took 
 
The Tory Downfall. 179 
 
 coach to Lord Harry's. The viscount looked whimsically. 
 Left him. Promised to sup with him at earl's. Drove to 
 the Cocoa-tree. Sat till one, musing and thinking of 
 nothing. Played for half an hour with three impertinent 
 puppies, an Irish lord, an English colonel, and a Scotch 
 gamester. Retired into a private corner where a whim 
 came into my head of which I will shortly give the world 
 an account. Went to dine at the George with two 
 papists, three Jacobites, and a Tory. Damned the cook ; 
 liked the wine; no wit. All politics ; settlec,-$i^ succession. 
 Fixed the place, time, and manner of his landing (the Pre- 
 tender's). Went to my lodgings at five. Slept. Writ 
 an examiner. Supped at York buildings. Earl and 
 Lord Harry (Oxford and Bolingbroke) part in dudgeon 
 and division. . . ." 
 
 Friday. — " Resolve to fast. Send a note to church to 
 pray for the conversion of a great sinner. Read the Bible. 
 Find that no man can serve two masters; and that a 
 house divided against itself cannot stand. Consider of 
 these words, when ye hear of these things flee to the 
 mountains. . . . Don't like things ; confirmed concerning 
 animosities between the earl and Lord Harry. In a 
 quandary. Go to the club of ugly faces. Some wit. 
 Much impiety. Drink hard. Am treated. Expenses 
 one shilling. Mem. : This day month I had clean sheets." 
 
 Nor is there much relief in turning to Swift's relations 
 with Vanessa at this time. That lady had been delighted 
 at his return from Ireland, and it would seem that the old 
 intimacy between the two was speedily renewed. Swift's 
 first letter from Letcombe in Berkshire was written to 
 Vanessa. It gives an excellent description of both his 
 mode of life and state of mind at this time. It is dated 
 June 5, 1714 :"...! am at a clergyman's house, whom 
 I love very well ; but he is such a melancholy, thoughtful 
 
i8o Dean Swift and his Writings, 
 
 man, partly from nature, and partly by a solitary life, 
 that I shall soon catch the spleen from him. Out of ease 
 and complaisance, I desire him not to alter any of his 
 methods for me, so we dine exactly between twelve and 
 one. At eight we have some bread and butter and a glass 
 of ale, and at ten he goes to bed. Wine is a stranger, 
 except a little I sent him ; of which, one evening in two, 
 we have a pint between us. His wife has been this month 
 twenty miles off, at her father's, and will not return these 
 ten days. I never saw her ; and perhaps the house will 
 be worse when she comes. I read all day, or walk, and do 
 not speak as many words as I have now writ in three days; 
 so that, in short, I have a mind to steal to Ireland, unless 
 I find myself take more to this way of living, so different, 
 in every circumstance, from what I left. This is the first 
 syllable I have writ to anybody since you sav/ me. I 
 shall be glad to hear from you, not as you are a Londoner^ 
 but as a friend ; for I care not threepence for news, nor 
 have heard one syllable since I came here. The Pretender 
 or Duke of Cambridge may both be landed, and I never 
 the wiser ; but if this place were ten times worse, nothing 
 shall make me return to town while things are in the 
 situation I left them. I give a guinea a week for my 
 board, and can eat anything." 
 
 He writes again to Vanessa a month later, with special 
 reference to her own affairs. Mrs. Vanhomrigh had 
 lately died, leaving considerable debts, and her children 
 were for the time in very straitened circumstances. 
 Poor Vanessa pours all her troubles into Swift's bosom. 
 The latter behaves with much kindness. He not only gives 
 her his sympathy and advice, but offers to become surety 
 in case she wants to borrow money. " But as time went 
 
 ' Letter of July, 1714.— " If you want to borrow any money, I would 
 have you send to Mr. Barber or Ben Tooke, which you please, ancj 
 
The Tory DownfalL l8i 
 
 on Swift's tone altered. Contemplating a speedy return 
 to Ireland, he was in terror lest she should follow him 
 thither, and he endeavoured by coldness and excuses to 
 uproot that passion which his wilful renewal of their 
 intimacy had planted more firmly than ever. 
 
 By the May of 1714 Bolingbroke's indignation against 
 his chief had reached boiling point. The queen might 
 die at any moment. Unless a determined attempt were 
 made to form the Tory party into a compact phalanx 
 before the accession of a Whig puppet in the person of 
 Prince George of Hanover, the doom of Toryism was 
 sealed. The secretary determined to take matters into 
 his own hand.^ He could reckon on the support of the 
 lord chancellor, Harcourt, and the chancellor of the 
 exchequer, Sir William Wyndham ; and he had the ear 
 of Lady Masham, the queen's favourite. 
 
 Oxford was known to be bound to the Dissenters. 
 Partly to force his hand, partly to gratify the Church, the 
 Schism Act was pressed forward. It proposed that no one 
 in future should keep a school or act as a tutor unless he 
 first subscribed a declaration to conform to the Church 
 of England, and also obtained a written licence from a 
 bishop. In spite of great opposition it passed the 
 Commons by a majority of nearly two to one. In the 
 Lords an interesting debate ensued. The Earl of 
 Nottingham rather cleverly seized on the opportunity to 
 
 let them know it, and the sum, and that I will stand bound for it and 
 send them my bond." 
 
 ' It is impossible in a short biographical work to enter into the much- 
 debated question as to whether Bolingbroke ever intended to bring 
 about a Stuart restoration on Anne's death. I believe he only aimed 
 at putting the Tory party in such a position that when the Elector of 
 Hanover came to the throne, he would have to continue them in 
 office. 
 
i82 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 make an attack on Swift. " My lords," said he, " I have 
 many children, and I know not whether God Almighty 
 will vouchsafe to let me live to give them the education 
 I could wish they had. Therefore, my lords, I own 
 I tremble when I think that a certain divine, who is 
 hardly suspected of being a Christian, is in a fair 
 way of being a bishop, and may one day give licences 
 to those who shall be entrusted with the education of 
 youth ! " Lord Oxford's behaviour was characteristic. 
 On the final reading of the bill on June loth, when 
 it was carried by ']'] to 72, he absented himself from the 
 House. 
 
 Oxford had in this instance shown his dislike to the 
 policy of his "colleagues. On other points he was equally 
 at variance with them. Bolingbroke drew up a scheme 
 by which notorious Whig officers should be forced to sell 
 their commissions in the army to men of Tory views. 
 The money required was to be paid by the Government. 
 Oxford as usual began by offering no opposition. When 
 the money required was demanded, he drew back and the 
 plan came to nothing. But though the lord treasurer 
 grew more obstinate, more incapable, more unintelligible 
 every day, he clung to office like a leech. There were 
 times when Bolingbroke's heart died within him. " If 
 my grooms," he wrote to Swift, "did not lead a happier 
 life than I, I, am sure they would leave my service." At 
 last, towards the end of July, his hopes were realised. 
 On the 27th of that month, after a final and furious 
 altercation between the two leading ministers, carried on 
 in the queen's presence, Anne ordered Oxford to resign 
 his post. 
 
 The lord treasurer had for some weeks expected his fall 
 and his nature was too apathetic to be affected by it. In 
 sending the news to Swift, he seized the opportunity to 
 
The Tory Downfall. 183 
 
 ask the Dean's opinion on what he was pleased to call an 
 imitation of Dryden : 
 
 " To serve with love, 
 And shed your blood, 
 Approved is above. 
 But here below, 
 Th' examples show, 
 'Tis fatal to be good." 
 
 The lines are somewhat above the average of those 
 with which Oxford was wont to weary his friends. It, 
 however, throws a curious light on his vanity that, after 
 ruining his party, he could think of no other theme than 
 his own merits. 
 
 Bolingbroke at last found himself chief minister. Fie 
 tried to persuade himself that he had triumphed. On the 
 very night of July 27th he gave a great dinner party to 
 the Whig leaders. Stanhope, Walpole, and others at his 
 house in Golden Square, and assured them of his fidelity 
 to the House of Hanover. It remained to make a fresh 
 arrangement of the ministry. Bolingbroke himself was 
 to remain first secretary of state and practical prime 
 minister. The treasury was to be put in commission, Sir 
 William Wyndham occupying the post of first lord. 
 Ormond and Harcourt were to remain respectively 
 commander-in-chief and lord chancellor. Bishop Atter- 
 bury was to be privy seal., and the Duke of Buckingham 
 president of the council. The Tories were to be made 
 so strong that the new sovereign on his arrival would 
 displace them at his peril. But there was a traitor in 
 the Tory camp who rendered Bolingbroke's efforts 
 unavailing. The Duke of Shrewsbury at that time held 
 the office of Lord Lieutenant of Ireland. He had been 
 treated with complete confidence by Bolingbroke. But 
 
184 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 Queen Anne was rapidly sinking, and Shrewsbury, con- 
 vinced that the cause of Toryism was lost, had already 
 concerted a plan for associating himself with the Whigs. 
 While the ministers were in consultation at Kensington 
 on the morning of July 30th, the Dukes of Argyle and 
 Somerset, both Whigs, suddenly appeared in the council 
 chamber. They claimed their right to attend as privy 
 councillors, and after a short delay proposed that the 
 Duke of Shrewsbury should be raised to the post of lord 
 treasurer. Bolingbroke was so disconcerted by this 
 unexpected move that he and his followers were forced 
 into an unwilling assent ; and a deputation went to the 
 queen's bedside where Shrewsbury was invested with the 
 white staff of supreme office. Of Bolingbroke's paper 
 schemes and paper ministry nothing more was heard. 
 The queen's death on August ist found everything 
 prepared for the Elector of Hanover's accession. 
 
 "The Earl of Oxford," wrote Bolingbroke to Swift, 
 " was removed on Tuesday ; the queen died on Sunday. 
 What a world is this ! and how does fortune banter us. 
 . . . Here everything is quiet and will continue so. 
 Besides which, as prosperity divided, misfortune may 
 perhaps to some degree unite us. The Tories seem to 
 resolve not to be crushed, and that is enough to prevent 
 them from being so." He asked Swift not to go to 
 Ireland yet, but the Dean knew better than Bolingbroke 
 that the end was come. Toryism was in articulo mortis. 
 Its votaries might heave a sigh over its last moments ; 
 but they could do no more. After a parting letter of 
 thanks and commendation to Bolingbroke, Swift, on 
 August 16th left Letcombe for Chester. On August 24th 
 he was back again in Dublin. 
 
 So ends Swift's period of political greatness. There 
 was much in it on which in after years he could look 
 
The Tory Downfall. 185 
 
 back with pride and satisfaction. He had won poli- 
 tical eminence. He had drunk to the full the cup 
 of social homage. But he had also seen a great political 
 party undermined by disunion and destroyed by treachery. 
 He had been drawn into bitter conflict with once-trusted 
 friends. He had seen his own hopes of glory and advance- 
 ment checked when they were at their apogee ; and it 
 was in gloom and bitterness that he entered on his 
 retirement. 
 
CHAPTER VII. 
 
 THE DEAN OF ST. PATRICICS. 
 
 Whig revenge on the Tory leaders — Unpopularity of Swift — Settle- 
 ment in Dublin— His position as Dean of St. Patrick's — Letters 
 to Bolingbroke, Oxford, Lady Bolingbroke, and the Duchess of 
 Ormond — Renewal of friendship with Addison — The story of 
 Vanessa — Poem of " Cadenus and Vanessa " — Vanessa at Marley ' 
 Abbey — Correspondence between her and Swift — Rupture 
 between them — Vanessa's death — Condition of Ireland at this 
 time— The Catholic peasantry — The ruling Protestant minority 
 • — Their grievances, legislative and commercial — Entry of Swift 
 into Irish politics — His " Proposal for the Universal Use of Irish 
 Manufactures " — His printer prosecuted — Wood's halfpence — 
 Origin of the affair — Its injustice — The "Drapier's Letters" — 
 Alarm of the Government — Wood's patent cancelled — Triumph 
 of Swift's policy^His personal views on his triumph — Growing 
 misanthropy. 
 
 Never have the hopes of a political party been at lower 
 ebb than those of the Tories during the first few years 
 that followed George I.'s accession. One of the first acts 
 of the new Government was to dismiss Bolingbroke and 
 his colleagues with all the circumstances of disgrace. A 
 Whig ministry, in which Stanhope, Townshend, and Wal- 
 pole were the most prominent, was called to office ; and 
 the general election of 1714 resulted in a large Whig 
 majority. Discredited as traitors, Jacobites, and con- 
 spirators, the Tories were for the time unable to rhake 
 head against the breeze of popular disfavour. But the 
 
 188 
 
The Dean of St, PatricMs. 187 
 
 Whigs were not content with victory ; they must have 
 revenge.' A special committee was appointed to investi- 
 gate the conduct of the late ministry in relation to the 
 ■peace with France and the succession question. Against 
 Bolingbroke the bitterest animosity prevailed, and the cry 
 for his impeachment soon became irresistible. That great 
 'man knew that his known abilities rendered a fair trial 
 exceedingly doubtful. In the present state of party feel- 
 ing, a bill of attainder, which would preclude his being 
 heard in his own defence, was by no means impossible. 
 He recognised that the game was up, and that nothing 
 remained but to make an effective exit from the scene. 
 On March 25, 1715, he appeared in his box at Drury 
 Lane Theatre. His conversation had- never be£n so gay, 
 his demeanour so nonchalant. As to the threats of the 
 "Whigs, he spoke of them with amused contempt. On the 
 following day, London was astonished to hear that he had 
 fled to France. His affected indifference had in reality 
 covered the most bitter exasperation. Young and ambi- 
 tious, it cut him to the heart to see his political hopes 
 blasted in one untimely moment. In the indignation of 
 a clever man, ruined by his natural inferiors, he shook the 
 dust of his country from off his feet and took service with 
 the Pretender. An Act of Attainder was passed against him 
 in his absence. His example was followed by Ormond. 
 Oxford, stolid to the last, remained behind. He was 
 arrested, and after two years' imprisonment in the Tower 
 brought to trial. But by that time (1717) the Whigs had 
 quarrelled among themselves ; Walpole, formerly Oxford's 
 enemy, was now his friend, and the trial ended in nothing. 
 
 . ■ ' Walpole said " he wanted words to express the villainy of the late 
 Frenchified ministry.'' Stanhope wondered that " men who were 
 guilty of such enormous crimes had still the audaciousness to appear 
 in the streets." 
 
1 88 Dean Szvift and his Writings. 
 
 Swift, closely as he had been identified with the Tory 
 ministry, escaped prosecution. But his position was for 
 a long time precarious. On his arrival in Dublin he was 
 received with insults and execrations ; lampoons were 
 affixed to the doors of his cathedral, and he was assaulted 
 when riding out for exercise. His old associates shunned 
 him as a leper. Erasmus Lewis wrote urging him to 
 destroy his papers. Archbishop King had not forgiven 
 Swift's little lack of courtesy in the preceding year. He 
 was now able to retaliate, and writes, on one occasion, with 
 evident satisfaction : " We have a strong report that my 
 Lord Bolingbroke will return here and be pardoned; 
 certainly it must not be for nothing. I hope he can tell 
 no ill story of you. I add only my prayers for you," &c., 
 &c. Bolingbroke was not very likely to turn king's 
 evidence. But Swift was much annoyed at the implied 
 charge of Jacobitism, and wrote to the archbishop to deny 
 it in the most explicit terms. '^ 
 
 For the next six years Swift remained in retirement. 
 In his first letters he affected a stoical resignation with 
 his lot. " You are to understand," he writes to Pope, 
 " that I live in the corner of a vast unfurnished house ; 
 my family consists of a steward, a groom, a helper in the 
 stable, a footman and an old maid, who are all at board- 
 wages ; and when I do not dine abroad or make an enter- 
 tainment (which last is very rare), I eat a mutton-pie and 
 drink half a pint of wine ; my amusements are defending 
 my small dominions against the archbishop, and en- 
 deavouring to reduce my rebellious choir." The latter 
 were for some time rather more than amusements. Swift 
 was determined to be supreme in his own cathedral. In 
 a letter to Atterbury, dated April i8, 1716, he enumer- 
 
 ' See Swift's letter of December 16, 1716. 
 
The Dean of St. Patrick's. 189 
 
 ates his various powers with a pompous pride, which no 
 one recalling the more important events in which Swift 
 had recently played so great a part, can read without a 
 smile. " The dean (of St. Patrick's) has great preroga- 
 tives. He visits the chapter as ordinary, and the arch- 
 bishop only visits by the dean. The dean can suspend 
 and sequester any member, and punishes all crimes except 
 heresy, and one or two more reserved for the archbishop. 
 No lease can be let without him. He holdsacourt-leet in 
 his district, and is exempt from the lord mayor, &c. No 
 chapter can be called but by him, and he dissolves them 
 at pleasure. He disposes absolutely of the petty canons 
 and vicars — choral places. All the dignitaries, &c., swear 
 canonical obedience to him." For some time he encoun- 
 tered a bitter opposition from the different members of his 
 chapter. But the man who had fought and beaten the 
 Whig aristocracy was not to be frightened by the puny 
 weapons of a few minor canons ; and the new dean of St. 
 Patrick's had little difficulty in making himself master. 
 It may be mentioned here that the £1,000 Swift hoped 
 for, vanished into thin air on the advent of the Whigs. He 
 was thus for some time much occupied in wiping off the 
 debt incident to his new preferment. 
 
 In other letters Swift congratulates himself on his 
 ignorance of contemporary political events. He could 
 not, however, help expressing sympathy for the fate of his 
 old patrons. On Bolingbroke's dismissal, he wrote to him 
 in the mingled tone of seriousness and banter which that 
 brilliant man affected in his own letters. No character- 
 istic of Swift, indeed, is more pleasing than the care with 
 which he adapted his style to the correspondent for the 
 time being. 
 
 The following extract is from the letter to Boling- 
 broke: 
 
I go Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 " Dublin, September 14, 1714. 
 
 " My Lord, — I hope your lordship, who were always 
 so kind to me while you were a servant, will not forget 
 me now in your greatness. I give you this caution, 
 because you will be apt to be exalted in your new station 
 of retirement, which was the only honourable post that 
 those who gave it you were capable of conferring '. . . . 
 I must be so free as to tell you that this new office of 
 retirement will be harder for you to keep than that of 
 secretary ; and you lie under one great disadvantage, 
 besides your being too young ; that, whereas none but 
 knaves and fools desire to deprive you of your former post, 
 all the honest men in England will be for putting you out 
 of this." 
 
 Swift then proceeds to rally this new Cincinnatus on his 
 rural occupations : "... They tell me you have a good 
 crop of wheat, but the barley is bad. Hay will certainly 
 be dear unless we have an open winter. I hope you found 
 your hounds in good condition, and that Bright has not 
 made a stirrup-leather of your jockey-belt. I imagine you 
 now smoking with your humdrum squire (I forget his 
 name), who can go home at midnight and open a dozen 
 gates when he is drunk. I beg your lordship not to ask 
 me to lend you any money. If you will come and live at 
 the deanery, and furnish up an apartment, I will find you 
 in victuals and drink, which is more than ever you got 
 by the court : and, as proud as you are, I hope to see you 
 accept a part of this offer before you die. . . . However, 
 pray God forgive them by whose indolence, neglect, or 
 
 ' Compare for the sentiment here expressed the well-known lines 
 from Addison's " Cato " : 
 
 " Where vice prevails, and impious men bear sway. 
 The post of honour is a private station," 
 
The Dean of St. Patrick's. 191 
 
 want of friendship, I am reduced to live with twenty 
 leagues of salt water between your lordship and me, &c. 
 
 " Jonathan Swift." 
 
 Swift's letter to Oxford after that statesman's arrest 
 was very different. Ever suspicious of brilliance, Swift 
 had been completely deluded by Oxford's simple air. The 
 following would have been exaggerated if addressed to 
 Richelieu : 
 
 " I do not think myself obliged to regulate my opinions 
 by the opinions of a House of Lords, or Commons ; and 
 therefore, however they may acquit themselves in your 
 lordship's case, I shall take the liberty of thinking and 
 calling your lordship the ablest and faithfullest minister 
 knd truest lover of your country that this age has pro- 
 duced ; and I have already taken care that you shall be so 
 represented to posterity, in spite of all the rage and malice 
 of your enemies. And this I know will not be wholly 
 indifferent to your lordship, who, next to a good consci- 
 ence, always esteemed reputation your best possession. 
 Your intrepid behaviour under this prosecution astonishes 
 every one but me, who know you so well, and how little 
 it is in the power of human actions or events to discom- 
 pose you. I have seen your lordship labouring under 
 great difficulties and exposed to great dangers, and over- 
 coming both by the providence of God and your own 
 wisdom and courage. Your life has been already 
 attempted by private malice ; it is now pursued by public 
 resentment. Nothing else remained. You were destined 
 to both trials ; and the same power which delivered you 
 out of the paws of the lion and the bear will, I trust, 
 deliver you out of the hands of the uncircumcised. . . ." 
 
 Nor were Swift's letters to his lady friends less apposite. 
 On Bolingbroke's flight he at once wrote to console Lady 
 
192 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 Bolingbroke. How well he succeeded is shown by her 
 reply : 
 
 " Your letter came in very good time to me, when 
 I was full of vexation and trouble, which all vanishes, 
 finding you were so good to remember me under my 
 afflictions." 
 
 She wrote frequently and at length to Swift, describing 
 her misfortunes. There had been little sympathy between 
 her and her husband. But Lady Bolingbroke was a loyal 
 wife. She was working hard through friends to obtain 
 the king's pardon for her husband, and describes herself 
 to Swift as " a little fury, especially if they dare mention 
 my dear lord without respect." The poor Duchess of 
 Ormond was in similar plight. A sentence of attainder, 
 it must be remembered, involved confiscation of property ; 
 and the Duke of Ormond's retreat had left her nearly penni- 
 less. "You kindly ask how my affairs go," she writes to 
 Swift on September 14, 1716. " There is yet no end of 
 them, and God only knows when there will be. For 
 when everything was thought done, a sudden blast has 
 blown all hopes away, and then they give me fresh expec- 
 tations. In the meantime I am forced to live upon the 
 borrow; my goods all taken away that I shall not have 
 so much as a bed to lie upon but what I must buy, and 
 no money of my own to do that with ; so that you may 
 imagine me in a cheerful way. I pray God support 
 me. 
 
 Besides the task of consoling broken statesmen and dis- 
 tressed women, Swift had a great resource in his literary 
 associations. During the years of his exile he maintained 
 an active correspondence with Pope, Gay, Prior, and 
 Arbuthnot. One great compensation for his political 
 eclipse was found in a renewal of his friendship with 
 Addison. So high was the reputation of the latter that 
 
The Dean of St. Patricks. 193 
 
 on the accession of the Whigs to office he was appointed 
 secretary to the new Irish viceroy, Lord Sunderland. In 
 Addison's calm' and generous nature there was no place 
 for vindictiveness. On arriving in Dublin he sought out 
 the dean of St. Patrick's. Swift had by political differ- 
 ences been long separated from Addison. But he had 
 never been forced into personal enmity with him. He 
 readily accepted his old friend's overtures, and the 
 intimacy between the two became as close and as delight- 
 ful as before.^ 
 
 We are now come to that important episode in Swift's 
 private life : the story of Vanessa. 
 
 In his relations with the fair sex a versatile and sensi- 
 tive man will aim at the indulgence of every form which 
 those relations may take — the fond, the intellectual, and 
 the gay. The very coldness of Swift's temperament, 
 which enabled him to enjoy, without falling a victim to, 
 feminine fascinations, subjected him to this rule more 
 strongly than other men. Eager to live his life to the 
 full, he had, at one and the same time, found rest in 
 the homely but sincere devotion of poor Stella ; satis- 
 faction in the stately grace of Lady Bolingbroke or the 
 Duchess of Ormond ; and companionship in the cultured 
 mind of Hester Vanhomrigh. Mrs. Vanhomrigh's two 
 sons had survived her but a very short time. The family 
 property consisted mainly of an estate near Celbridge in 
 Ireland, and Vanessa had thus additional excuse besides 
 her passion for Swift for coming over to that country in 
 1714. She brought with her a younger sister, Mary, who 
 
 ' Addison returned to London in 1715. He married the widowed 
 Countess of Warwick in the following year. There is an extremely 
 kind letter of his, dated 1718, inviting Swift to come and stay with him 
 at Holland House. Addison's premature death on June 17, 1719, 
 deprived Swift of his noblest and best-hearted friend. 
 
 14 
 
194 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 appears as Molkin in Swift's letters. Settling first in 
 Dublin, Vanessa soon renewed her relations with the dean. 
 The latter with his curious love for self-analysis had 
 already written for Vanessa's benefit a poem, descriptive 
 of the origin and growth of their intimacy, entitled 
 " Cadenus and Vanessa." Cadenus is merely a trans- 
 position of the letters Decanus, the Latin for Dean, and 
 means Swift himself. 
 
 Vanessa is represented as a woman of great beauty, 
 whose intellectual gifts, however, make her dislike the 
 brainless fops of high society. Her affection, therefore, 
 concentrates itself on her preceptor, Dr. Swift. The 
 latter is described as— 
 
 " Grown old in politics and wit, 
 Caress'd by ministers of state, 
 Of half mankind the dread and hate." 
 
 He is far too old and crabbed for love's delights, and 
 great is his consternation when he discovers his fair 
 young pupil's secret. To meet her as she wishes is 
 impossible — 
 
 •' But friendship in its greatest height, 
 A constant rational dehght, 
 On virtue's basis fix'd to last, 
 When love's allurements long are past, 
 Which gently warms but cannot burn. 
 He gladly offers in return ; 
 His want of passion will redeem 
 With gratitude, respect, esteem." 
 
 Vanessa, however, declines to accept this offer. She 
 refuses to believe that her tutor's blood is so chilled as to 
 be insensible to the tender passion. She will therefore 
 
(yU'^J-^/^''/ / rr,/U/y^^//f.''u/:/Jl .(7'a.?i.r.-).}u ) 
 
 jtA/ ^-c 
 
 -/ff^7/ €t ^i,tc/i.tA.f^ ^ri, t./if /i(^.*.Jf.J.ti,>^/i f>/ ■ }/ h'///^ 'fj /'j-/.Mrf€ 
 
The Dean of St. Patrick's. 195 
 
 take up the part of tutor in her turn, and direct this 
 laggard into the right paths. 
 
 ^ The following lines refer to Vanessa's new enterprise. 
 Their ambiguous style lays them open to a very sinister 
 meaning. But our knowledge of Swift's life and charac- 
 ter enables us to regard them as harmless though some- 
 what injudiciously put : 
 
 " But what success Vanessa met 
 Is to the world a secret yet. 
 Whether the nymph to please her swain 
 Talks in a high romantic strain, 
 Or whether he at last descends 
 To act with less seraphic ends ; 
 Or to compound the business, whether 
 They temper love and books together, 
 Must never to mankind be told. 
 Nor shall the conscious muse unfold." 
 
 The worst that can be said of the above passage is that, 
 being intended for Vanessa's ear alone, it put the relations 
 between Swift and that lady in a condition of uncertainty. 
 Chance of a sudden rupture was thus averted. The way 
 was left open for time and explanation to do its work.' 
 
 Swift had by coldness and inuendoes attempted to 
 deter Vanessa from coming to Ireland. When she per- 
 sisted in her design, it was still open to him by a few 
 decisive words to show her the folly of her hopes. But 
 again he shrank back from his duty. Whether he feared 
 a scene, or wished to continue even now an intimacy in 
 which his intellect delighted, we know not. On hearing 
 of her arrival he tried to dishearten her by references to 
 
 ' The poem " Cadenus and Vanessa " was written in 1713. It was 
 revised in 1719, and it is the revised version which has come down to 
 us. 
 
196 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 the inconveniences of her new life. She must take care 
 of her health in this damp Irish air. He fears Dublin 
 will be very dismal after London, and the country round 
 is so miserable. There are no walks about as pleasant as 
 the grounds of Marlborough Lodge. But Vanessa was 
 not to be foiled. A desperate appeal to his mercy was 
 followed by wild threats to wreck his peace, and hints at 
 the other passion which she taxed him with concealing 
 from her. Swift gave up the struggle. Stella had, at his 
 special request, come down from Laracor with Mrs. 
 Dingley and taken lodgings on Ormond's Quay. She was 
 constantly at the deanery.^ But this did not prevent 
 Swift from maintaining close relations with Vanessa. 
 They wrote verses to one another. Swift asked Vanessa's 
 opinion of his work — " Gulliver's Travels " — which was 
 now in composition. Vanessa studied French, and Swift 
 congratulated her on her progress therein in a fluent, 
 though not strictly grammatical, letter in that language. 
 
 Meanwhile he strove by secret and underhand methods 
 to avert the catastrophe which his instincts told him must 
 come at last. By assiduous flattery of Vanessa's conver- 
 sational talents he frequently prevailed on her to seek the 
 distractions of general society. He kept a sharp lookout 
 for possible admirers. When one appeared, he did his best 
 to bring him and Vanessa together. A certain Dean 
 Winter was the first to offer himself. On his repulse by 
 Vanessa he was succeeded by Dr. Price, afterwards Arch- 
 bishop of Cashel. But the latter also met with a refusal. 
 In 1717 Vanessa and her sister Mary, who suffered from 
 a chest complaint, took up their abode on the family 
 estate of Marley Abbey, near Celbridge. The river Liffey 
 flowed through the grounds which were rich in yew-trees 
 
 ' For the later relations between Swift and Stella see next chapter. 
 
The Dean of St. Patrick's. 197 
 
 and laurels ; and on the river bank was a secluded arbour, 
 with steps leading down to the water's edge, where one 
 can fancy Vanessa'spent many hours in meditation on her 
 unrequited love. 
 
 Some of her occasional poems at this time indicate at 
 once the distress of her spirits and the tenderness of her 
 emotion. The best of them is the following short " Ode 
 to Spring " : 
 
 " Hail, blushing goddess, beauteous Spring, 
 Who in thy jocund train dost bring 
 Loves and Graces, smiling hours, 
 Balmy breezes, fragrant flowers, 
 Come, with tints of roseate hue, 
 Nature's faded charms renew. 
 Yet why should I thy presence hail ? 
 To me no more the breathing gale 
 Comes fraught with sweets, no more the rose 
 With such transcendent beauty blows, 
 As when Cadenus blest the scene. 
 And shared with me those joys serene. 
 When, unperceived, the lambent fire 
 Of Friendship kindled new desire ; 
 Still hstening to his tuneful tongue, 
 The truths which angels might have sung, 
 Divine imprest their gentle sway. 
 And sweetly stole my soul away. 
 My guide, instructor, lover, friend, 
 (Dear names !) in one idea blend ; 
 O ! still conjoin'd, your incense rise, 
 And waft sweet odours to the skies." 
 
 By the year 1720 Vanessa's letters grow piteous. " Tell 
 me sincerely," she writes on one occasion, " if you have 
 once wished with earnestness to see me since I wrote to 
 you ; no, so far from that, you have not once pitied me, 
 though I told you how I was distressed. Solitude is in- 
 supportable to a mind which is not easy. I have worn 
 
198 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 out my days in sighing, and my nights with watching, 
 
 and thinking of , who thinks not of me. How many 
 
 letters shall I send you before I receive an answer ? Can 
 you deny me, in my misery, the only comfort which I can 
 expect at present ? ! that I could hope to see you 
 here, or that I could go to you. I was born with violent 
 passions which terminate all in one, that inexpressible 
 passion I have for you. Consider the killing emotions 
 which I feel from your neglect of me, and show some 
 tenderness for me, or I shall lose my senses. Sure you 
 cannot possibly be so much taken up but you might com- 
 mand a moment to write to me, and force your inclinations 
 to so great a charity. I firmly believe, if I could know 
 your thoughts (which no human creature is capable of 
 guessing at, because never any one living thought" like 
 you), I should find you had often in a rage wished me 
 religious, hoping then I should have paid my devotions to 
 Heaven ; but that would not spare you, for were I an 
 enthusiast, still you would be the deity I should worship. 
 What marks are there of a deity but what you are known 
 by ? You are present everywhere : your dear image is 
 always before my eyes. Sometimes you strike me with 
 that prodigious awe, I tremble with fear ; at other times 
 a charming compassion shines through your countenance, 
 which revives my soul. Is it not more reasonable to adore 
 a radiant form one has seen than one only described ? " 
 
 Swift was aghast at the misery which his fatal irresolu- 
 tion had pi^ovoked. But even now he still refused an expla- 
 nation. All her pleadings could draw nothing from him save 
 a commonplace excuse, or an unmeaning protestation. He 
 was busily engaged with official work ; he was travelling 
 about the country ; scandal would arise if he visited Cel- 
 bridge often ; there was no one on earth whom he adored 
 so much as Vanessa ; he had been sitting the other night 
 
The Dean of St. Patricias. 199 
 
 with " half a score of both sexes for an hour, and grew as 
 weary as a dog." They had bored him to the death with 
 their sapient talk about society, the state of the kingdom, 
 the South Sea Bubble ; he would a thousand times rather 
 have sat with Vanessa and hear her talk unreason for two 
 hours ! 
 
 In 1720 Mary Vanhomrigh died, and the unhappy 
 Vanessa was left quite alone. She clung to her idol more 
 closely than ever. Swift was at his wits' end. What 
 crime had he committed that this undesired and weari- 
 some adoration should be thrust upon him ? He adopted 
 a tone of cynical worldliness, the wisdom of which he 
 tried hard to impress upon Vanessa. Humbler men 
 would have seen the worthlessness of such an expedient. 
 But, with all his insight into human character. Swift was 
 incapable of anything but blind contempt for the refine- 
 ment of feminine affection. 
 
 His letters to Vanessa at this time resemble those 
 which a London flaneur, on a visit to the seaside, might 
 write to his friends at the club. Take, for instance, the 
 following : 
 
 " Clogher, Jum I, 1722. 
 " The weather has been so constantly bad that I have 
 wanted all the healthy advantages of the country, and it 
 seems to continue so. It would have been infinitely 
 better once a week to have met at Kendal, and so forth, 
 where one might pass three or four hours in drinking 
 coffee in the morning, or dining tete-a-tete, drinking coffee 
 again till seven. . . . Remember that riches are nine 
 parts in ten of all that is good in life, and health is the 
 tenth ; drinking coffee comes long after, and yet it is the 
 eleventh ; but without the other two former you cannot 
 drink it right." 
 
200 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 Or this, written from Loughgall, in the County of 
 Armagh, July 13, 1722 : 
 
 "... I doubt the bad weather has hindered you much 
 from the diversions of your country house, and put you 
 upon thinking in your chamber. The use I have made of 
 it was to read I know not how many diverting books of 
 history and travels. I wish you would get yourself a 
 horse, and have always two servants to attend you, and 
 visit your neighbours ; the worse the better : there is a 
 pleasure in being reverenced, and that is always in your 
 power, by your superiority of sense, and an easy fortune." 
 
 Or this, written on August 7th, following : 
 
 " How do you wear away the time? Is it among the 
 groves and fields of your country seat, or among your 
 cousins in town, or thinking in atrain that will be sure to 
 vex you, and then reaping and forming teasing conclusions 
 from mistaken thoughts ? The best companion for you is 
 a philosopher, whom you would regard as much as a 
 sermon. I have read more trash since I left you than 
 would fill all your shelves, and am abundantly the better 
 for it, though I scarcely remember a syllable. What a 
 foolish thing is time, and how foolish is man, who would 
 be as angry if time stopped as if it passed. . . ." ' 
 
 One wearies oneself over the history of Vanessa's 
 passion — so hopeless and yet so enduring. By the 
 beginning of the year 1723 she had grown despei'ate. 
 Her health was failing, and a final decision as to her- 
 fate must be obtained at all cost. She had long been 
 aware of the close intimacy existing between Swift and 
 Stella. Could it be that he preferred the latter to 
 herself? To solve the doubt, she sacrificed her pride, 
 and wrote a letter to Swift demanding a clear 
 
 ' There is some uncertainty about the dates of these letters. I 
 have adopted those generally approved. 
 
The Dean of St. Patrick's. 201 
 
 statement of his final intentions. The latter acted 
 with the fury into which an irresolute man always I 
 falls when he at last finds himself face to face with 
 stern necessity. He took Vanessa's letter, and rode off 
 with it to Marley Abbey. Striding into the lady's apart- 
 ment, he flung her letter on the table, and departed 
 without a word. We know from Vanessa herself that 
 Swift's countenance was pre-eminently fitted to express 
 the emotion of infuriated rage. No words were needed 
 now to tell her that henceforth all was over between them. 
 
 The shock of this last interview aggravated the ill- 
 health under which Vanessa had long been sinking. 
 She grew rapidly worse, and in the May of 1723 she 
 passed away. Before her death she revoked a will she 
 had made in Swift's favour. Posterity will forgive her 
 this little piece of human vindictiveness. She loved much.'' 
 
 For some years previous to the death of Vanessa 
 the condition of Ireland had begun to attract Swift's 
 earnest attention. The northern province of Ulster 
 exhibited some harmony both of racial and religious 
 feeling ; and it enjoyed a vigorous industrial life. In 
 the other three provinces of the island a landed 
 aristocracy, English in descent and Protestant in creed, 
 ruled over an Irish and Catholic peasantry. The latter 
 were in the most miserable of all conditions — that of 
 serfs without land. Absence of trade or manufacture 
 drove a teeming population to the soil, the rent of which 
 
 ■ The correspondence between Swift and Vanessa, found in the 
 latter's possession, was destroyed by her executors. Bishop Berlteley 
 and Judge Marshall. The latter, however, had taken a careful copy 
 from which Sir Walter Scott's publication was made in his edition of 
 Swift's works. The poem of "Cadenus and Vanessa," much to Swift's 
 annoyance, was published soon after Vanessa's death. We know 
 little of Vanessa's personal appearance beyond that, unlike Stella, she 
 was fair, with light hair and eyes. 
 
202 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 was consequently pushed to an enormous and unnatural 
 height. As a matter of fact, rents promised were rarely 
 paid — in many cases they could not be paid — and the 
 Irish cultivator, never out of debt, remained bound to 
 the soil, the whole produce of which, save a bare sub- 
 sistence, went to the landlord. The established Anglican 
 Church, which exacted its tithes from all, irrespective 
 of creed, represented the minority of a minority. Seven- 
 eighths of the population of Ireland were Catholics ; and 
 of the Protestants no less than two-thirds were Non- 
 conformists. The latter suffered from social obloquy 
 and petty disabilities. But the Irish Catholic was to 
 all intents and purposes devoid of all civil and political 
 rights. He could not enter the legislature. He was 
 excluded from corporations.^ He could not be a 
 solicitor. He could hold no civil or military office. 
 He could not sit on a grand jury. He was forbidden to 
 keep arms or ride a horse worth more than five pounds. 
 If he were a landowner, his children, by turning 
 Protestant, could at once obtain a share of his property. 
 Catholic education was prohibited under heavy penalties ; 
 even the sending of a Catholic child to a Continental 
 seminary entailed the confiscation of the delinquent's 
 whole property, real and personal. The celebration of 
 Catholic worship was still allowed. But in 1704 all 
 Catholic priests then in Ireland were carefully registered. 
 The presence of Catholic bishops was forbidden, and, 
 granted that the law were executed, the Catholic clergy 
 must eventually die out. Meantime the harrying down 
 of " unregistered " priests formed a prominent duty of 
 the local magistracy^ 
 
 The relations between the dominant and subject class 
 
 ' In 1727 the Catholics were deprived of the right of voting at 
 parliamentary or municipal elections. 
 
The Dean of St. Patrick's. 203 
 
 in Ireland resembled those known in no civilised country. 
 By the Protestant landowner his Catholic fellow-country- 
 men were spoken of sometimes as " the natives," more 
 generally as " the common enemy." Their poverty, their 
 squalor, their rags excited the astonishment of men who 
 had seen the misery of the French or German serf. In 
 many cases, it is true, a semi-feudal attachment existed 
 between the peasant and his lord. The latter, genial, hos- 
 pitable, reckless, was too good-natured to be deliberately 
 oppressive. But he had been brought up to regard himself 
 as absolute master over his tenants ; he was hard pressed 
 for means to supply the extravagances of an aimless life ; 
 and if he forbore to use his powers to the full it was 
 due to good nature only. Whatever the faults of the 
 Irish resident landowner, he was blameless in com- 
 parison with his absentee brother. In Swift's time it 
 was computed that a third of the rental of Ireland was 
 carried out of the country. The estates of absentees 
 meanwhile were either rack-rented by a steward, or 
 leased out to middlemen, who sublet them, so as to 
 get the highest possible profit for themselves. 
 
 But the dominant class, closely as it was protected 
 by statute and convention, was very far from being 
 without grievances of its own. They could be summed 
 up in three words — dependence upon England. No bill 
 could be passed by the Irish Parliament unless previously 
 approved of by the English privy council. The English 
 parliament, on the other hand, could pass any act it chose 
 to bind that of Ireland without taking the opinion of 
 the sister legislature. Under these restrictions the 
 Irish parliament was reduced to a rnockery. Its chief, 
 it might be said its only, work was to vote supplies to 
 the Crown, after which it was usually prorogued by the 
 viceroy till again wanted for that purpose. 
 
204 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 What, then, was the conduct of England towards her 
 colony in Ireland ? Worse, it must be stated, than that 
 of the colony towards the native Irish. Colonies at that 
 time were regarded as farms cultivated simply and solely 
 for the benefit of the mother country ; and Ireland, 
 inasmuch as her proximity made her more dangerous 
 than other colonies, required the most jealous repression. 
 This showed itself in the restrictions placed by England 
 upon Irish trade. 
 
 In 1663, in answer to the complaints of the English 
 landowners, the importation of Irish cattle into England 
 was absolutely prohibited. In the same year Ireland 
 was excluded from the English Navigation Act, which 
 meant that no Irish-built ship was in future to have the 
 privilege of trading with any English colony. In 1696 
 a law was passed, forbidding any colonial produce to 
 be imported into Ireland otherwise than through an Eng- 
 lish port and after payment of the English customs duty. 
 
 The crowning iniquity came in 1699. Debarred from 
 the breeding of cattle, the Irish had turned their atten- 
 tion to sheep. A rich trade was soon opened in the 
 production and expoilation of wool. But the alarm 
 of the English wool growers was now aroused ; and in 
 1699 the English parliament prohibited the export of 
 Irish wool, either raw or manufactured, to any foreign 
 country, and to any English port save Milford, Chester, 
 Liverpool, and a few places in the Bristol Channel. The 
 effect of this measure on Irish prosperity was appalling. 
 The most important branch of industry was destroyed 
 at a blow. Of those engaged in it, many thousands left 
 the country ; the rest rushed to increase the already 
 frightful competition for the land. But the moral of the 
 Act was worse than its immediate result. The Irish 
 now learnt that the success of any industry in which 
 
The Dean of St. Patrick's. 205 
 
 they might engage would be the signal for its destruc- 
 tion. Energy was useless ; apathy and despair reigned 
 supreme over every element of Irish life. 
 
 Not content with the suppression of Irish industry in 
 the name of English manufacturers, the English Govern- 
 ment next exploited the Irish administration for the 
 benefit of English place-hunters. Every available office 
 in Ireland was appropriated to men of English birth. 
 Many of these officials were non-resident ; they drew 
 their salaries and spent them in England. Lastly, came 
 the scandalous misuse of the Irish pension list. Upon 
 this unfortunate fund was quartered every creature, who, 
 while possessing some political interest, was too insignifi- 
 cant or too infamous for English bounty. 
 
 How did the Irish parliament endure the outrages 
 inflicted on it by England ? The an^ver is to be found 
 in the fact that the latter had at its command two great 
 engines, fear and corruption. If the English Protestants 
 in Ireland murmured at their dependence, England could 
 always threaten to abandon them to the vengeance of 
 their Irish and Catholic neighbours. If a dangerous 
 opposition was formed in the Dublin parliament, 
 England broke it up by offers of pensions, titles, or 
 places. An actual majority of the seats were in the 
 hands of a few great Protestant landowners, so there 
 was no difficulty in arranging the bargain. The expense 
 might be heavy, but as the Irish exchequer bore the 
 burden this mattered little to an English ministry. 
 The very intensity of the evil, however, created re- 
 formers ; and even before Swift's appearance on the 
 scene, a small but resolute band of men had arisen 
 whose demands included abolition of the restraints on 
 Irish trade, and modification of the bonds which fettered 
 Irish legislation. 
 
2o6 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 It was this party that Swift decided to join in 1720. It 
 would be difficult to say how far his sympathy with them 
 was real. It may be that Swift, now that his lot was 
 cast in Ireland, found that the best policy was to join 
 that party who aimed at making Ireland a prosperous 
 and respected country. The English Government, more- 
 over, to whose interference the degradation of Ireland 
 was really due, was a Whig Government. By joining 
 the Irish parliamentary opposition Swift was thus again 
 able to take the field against the hated faction which had 
 baulked his ambition, and driven him from public life. 
 But Ireland at this time consisted really of two nations ; 
 and the men with whom Swift threw in his lot had no 
 ideas of benefiting any save the Protestant minority. 
 In what sense, then, have Swift's views on Ireland an 
 original and enduring value ? In the sense that he goes 
 beyond the demands of the dominant faction and calls 
 attention to the dangerous misery of the Irish lower classes. 
 Swift was the first to point out that, even were the 
 question of dependence on England settled, the real 
 difficulties of the Protestant minority would be just 
 begun. A few extracts taken at random from his minor 
 Irish pamphlets will illustrate this feeling : 
 
 " Whoever travels this country, and observes the face 
 of nature, or the faces and habits and dwellings of the 
 natives, will hardly think himself in a land where law, 
 religion, or common humanity is professed." 
 
 " Farms are screwed up to a rack-rent — leases granted 
 but for a small term of years — the tenants tied down to 
 hard conditions, and discouraged from cultivating the 
 lands they occupy to the best advantage, by the certainty 
 they have of the rent being raised on the expiration of 
 their lease proportionally to the improvements they shall 
 make." 
 
The Dean of St. Patrick s. 207 
 
 " I confess myself to be touched with a very sensible 
 pleasure when I hear of a mortality in any country 
 parish or village, where the wretches are forced to pay 
 for a iilthy cabin and two ridges of potatoes treble their 
 worth — brought up to steal or beg, for want of work — 
 to whom death would be the best thing to be wished 
 for on account both of themselves and the public." And 
 he points out to the landlords that " good, firm, penal 
 laws for improvement, with a tolerably easy rent, and a 
 reasonable period of time, would in twenty years have 
 increased the rents of Ireland at least a third part of the 
 intrinsic value." 
 
 On absentee-ism he is especially severe. " Another 
 cause of the decay of trade, scarcity of money, and 
 swelling of exchange is the unnatural affectation of our 
 gentry to reside in and about London. Their rents are 
 remitted to them, and spent there. The countryman 
 wants employment from them ; the country shopkeeper 
 wants their custom. For this reason he can't pay his 
 Dublin correspondent readily nor take off a great 
 quantity of his wares. Therefore the Dublin merchant 
 cannot employ the artisan, nor keep up his credit in 
 foreign markets. I have discoursed with some of these 
 gentlemen, persons esteemed for good sense, and de- 
 manded a reason for this their so unaccountable pro- 
 ceeding — expensive to them for the present, ruinous to 
 their country, and destructive to the future value of their 
 estates — and find all their answers summed up under 
 three heads — curiosity, pleasure, and loyalty to King 
 George. The two first excuses deserve no answer ; let 
 us try the validity of the third. Would not loyalty be 
 much better expressed by gentlemen staying in their 
 respective countries, influencing their dependents by their 
 examples, saving their own wealth, and letting their 
 
2o8 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 neighbours profit by their necessary expenses, thereby 
 keeping them from misery and its unavoidable conse- 
 quence, discontent ? . . . I have heard great divines 
 affirm," he concludes, " that nothing is so Hkely to call 
 down a universal judgment from heaven upon a nation as 
 universal oppression ; and whether this be not already 
 verified in part, their worships, the landlords, are now at 
 full leisure to consider." 
 
 Swift's first action on behalf of Ireland was in 1720. 
 In that year he published his "Proposal for the Universal 
 Use of Irish Manufactures." He pointed out that, since it 
 was at present hopeless to expect England to abandon her 
 policy of commercial injustice, Ireland must retaliate. 
 Let no Irish man or woman wear or use any article that 
 had not been produced in Ireland. " Upon the whole, 
 and to crown all the rest, let a firm resolution be taken, 
 by male and female, never to appear with one single shred 
 that comes from England." All English imports, in fact, 
 should be burnt except the people and the coals, and a 
 lady who wore even a single English stay-lace should be 
 denounced as a traitress. This humble protest against 
 a system, on behalf of which no plea could be urged, 
 excited the utmost fury of the English Government. At 
 a hint from the castle, the Irish Chief Justice, Whitshed, 
 hurried on a prosecution against the printer. But in spite 
 of the threats of the judge the jury refused to find a verdict, 
 and as a dangerous murmur began to arise the Govern- 
 ment found themselves compelled to stop proceedings. 
 
 Another and far more important question now arose. 
 In the year 1722 Irish industry became much incon- 
 venienced by a deficiency of copper coin. No mint was 
 allowed in Ireland by the English Government ; when 
 money was wanted, the latter used to grant patents to 
 private persons authorising them to coin the required 
 
The Dean of St. Patrick's. 209 
 
 sums. It was impossible for the English ministry to lose 
 so excellent an opportunity for a job. After a short delay 
 the privilege was granted to a certain Birmingham iron- 
 master named William Wood, whose recommendation 
 consisted of a bribe of £10,000 paid to the Duchess of 
 Kendal, the king's mistress. The copper money to be 
 coined was to be equal in nominal value to £108,000. 
 Each pound avoirdupois of copper, worth i2d. bullion 
 price, was to be turned into farthings and halfpence 
 valuing half-a-crown. 
 
 From the iinancial point of view there was much to be 
 said against the arrangement. The low intrinsic value 
 of the coins mattered little. Copper coins being only 
 legal tender up to s|-d., they were merely counters, and 
 the only qualities they required were durability and dis- 
 tinctness. The total amount to be coined was, however, 
 preposterous. The whole circulating medium of Ireland 
 at this time was only about £400,000, and the utmost 
 amount of copper conceivably required was calculated at 
 only £15,000 worth. To flood the country with copper 
 to the enormous extent the Government proposed would, 
 it was maintained, produce serious evils. Bad money 
 always drives out good, and the new copper would tend 
 to expel from Ireland the scanty store of gold and silver. 
 The foreign exchanges would be turned against the 
 country, and Irish commerce would eventually suffer 
 a disastrous blow. 
 
 But it was not the financial but the political aspect 
 of the scheme which roused popular indignation. Ireland 
 had long been murmuring against her ignominious treat- 
 ment by England; and the only answer vouchsafed was to 
 impose a new coinage on her, not after consultation with the 
 Irish parliament or any other Irish corporation, but simply 
 and solely by private arrangement between an English 
 
 15 
 
2IO Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 minister, an English king's mistress, and an unknown 
 Birmingham iron-master ! A financial question appealed 
 to the whole country irrespective of blood or creed, and 
 a universal agitation against " Wood's halfpence " im- 
 mediately arose. This had been in progress for some 
 time when Swift, early in 1724, resolved to come forward 
 on the popular side. Assuming the character of " M. B.," 
 a Dublin draper or " drapier," as he chose to write the 
 word, and employing a simple, popular style, he attacked 
 the scheme in a series of virulent pamphlets. They are 
 usually known as the " Drapier's Letters," and the fol- 
 lowing extracts will give some idea of their style and 
 argument. 
 
 As might have been expected in a dispute with Swift, the 
 unhappy William Wood comes in for much personal abuse. 
 " But, since I have gone so far as to mention particular 
 persons, it may be some satisfaction to know who is this 
 Wood himself, that has the honour to have a whole 
 kingdom at his mercy for almost two years together. 
 I find that he is in the patent entitled esquire, although 
 he were understood to be only a hardwareman, and so 
 I have been bold to call him in my former letters : how- 
 ever, a squire he is, not only by virtue of his patent, but 
 by having been a collector in Shropshire ; where, pre- 
 tending to have been robbed, and suing the county, he was 
 cast, and, for the infamy of the fact, lost his employment. 
 
 " I have heard another story of this Squire Wood from 
 a very honourable lady that one Hamilton told her. 
 Hamilton was sent for, six years ago, by Sir Isaac 
 Newton, to try the coinage of four men, who then 
 solicited a patent for coining halfpence for Ireland ; their 
 names were Wood, Costor, Eliston, and Parker. Parker 
 made the fairest offer, and Wood the worst, for his coin 
 were three halfpence in a pound weight less value than 
 
The Dean of St. Patrick's. 2 1 1 
 
 the othef. By which it is plain with what intentions he 
 soHcited his patent, but not so plain how he obtained it." ' 
 
 The last sentence pointed at the Duchess of Kendal. 
 It would have been dangerous to refer to her by name ; 
 the court would have at once cried out that the Drapier 
 was a Jacobite. 
 
 Wood being such a scoundrel, the connection between 
 him and the present dearth of halfpence, which forms 
 the excuse for the patent, is obvious. " Wood by his 
 emissaries — enemies to God and this kingdom — has taken 
 care to buy up as many of our old halfpence as he could, 
 and from thence the present want of change arises ; to 
 remove which by Mr. Wood's remedy would be to cure 
 a scratch on the finger by cutting off the arm." 
 
 Any stick will do to beat a dog with, and Swift in his 
 zeal against the new coinage treats as gospel the most 
 outrageous financial fallacies. We will not do him the 
 injustice of supposing that he believed them himself. 
 
 Wood's halfpence were to be legal tender only up to 
 52-d. Swift at once assumes that everybody will now pay 
 for their goods in successive sums of 5jd. The difference 
 between the mint and the bullion price of the copper is 
 150 per cent. Therefore every person who receives a 
 payment will suffer loss to this amount. Somewhat 
 strangely, every person who makes a payment will suffer 
 an equal loss ! Swift then goes on to describe the 
 frightful state of things to be expected as soon as the 
 debased copper has driven out all the gold. 
 
 " The common weight of these halfpence is between 
 four and five to an ounce — suppose five ; then 3s. 4d. will 
 weigh a pound, and consequently 20s. will weigh six 
 pounds butter weight. Now there are many hundred 
 farmers who pay £2,00 a year rent ; therefore, when one 
 ' Drapier's Letter III. 
 
2 12 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 of these farmers comes with his half-year's rent, which 
 is £ioo, it will be at least six hundred pounds weight, 
 which is three horses' load. If a 'squire has a mind to 
 come to town to buy clothes, and wine, and spices for 
 himself and family, or perhaps to pass the winter here, 
 he must bring with him five or six horses well laden with 
 sacks, as the farmers bring their corn, and when his lady 
 comes in her coach to our shops it must be followed by a 
 car loaded with Mr. Wood's money. And I hope we 
 shall have the grace to take it for no more than it is 
 worth. They say 'Squire ConoU}' (the Speaker) has 
 ;^i6,ooo a year ; now, if he sends for his rent to town, 
 as it is likely he does, he must have 250 horses to bring 
 up his half-year's rent, and two or three great cellars 
 in his house for stowage. But what the bankers will 
 do I cannot tell, for I am assured that some great bankers 
 keep by them ^^40,000 in ready cash, to answer all pay- 
 ments ; which sum, in Mr. Wood's money, would require 
 1,200 horses to carry it." ' 
 
 Even this, however, is only a foretaste of what will 
 happen. The Government acknowledge that the new copper 
 coinage has a very low intrinsic value. But, so great is 
 Wood's villainy, even the Government has been deceived. 
 
 " Your newsletter says that an assay was made of the 
 coin. How impudent and insupportable is this ! Wood 
 takes care to coin a dozen or two halfpence of good metal, 
 sends them to the Tower, and they ai'e approved, and 
 these must answer all that he has already coined or shall 
 coin for the future. It is true, indeed, that a gentleman 
 often sends to my shop for a pattern of stuff; I cut it 
 fairly off, and, if he likes it, he comes, or sends, and com- 
 pares the pattern with the whole piece, and probably 
 we come to a bargain. But if I were to buy a hundred 
 ' Drapier's Letter I. 
 
The Dean of St. Patricks. 213 
 
 sheep and the grazier should bring me one single wether, 
 fat and well fleeced, by way of pattern, and expect the 
 same price round for the whole hundred, without suffering 
 me to see them before he was paid, or giving me good 
 security to restore my money for those that were lean, 
 or shorn, or scabby, I would be none of his customer. 
 I have heard of a man who had a mind to sell his house, 
 and therefore carried a piece of brick in his pocket, which 
 he showed as a pattern to encourage purchasers ; and 
 this is directly the case in point with Mr. Wood's assay." ' 
 Swift's financial exaggerations, though well fitted to 
 delude an unlettered populace, could have hardly with- 
 stood serious investigation. He was on safer ground 
 when he denounced the cynical indifference shown by 
 England to Irish sentiment in this affair. Wood himself 
 had actually published a statement in the newspapers 
 deriding the alarm expressed by the Irish parliament. 
 Swift seizes on this impudent declaration with avidity. 
 " Observe this little impudent hardwareman turning into 
 ridicule the direful apprehensions of a whole kingdom, 
 priding himself as the cause of them, and daring to 
 prescribe (what no king of England ever attempted) how 
 far a whole nation shall be obliged to take his brass coin. 
 And he has reason to insult ; for sure there was never 
 an example in history of a great kingdom^kept in awe for 
 above a year, in daily dread of utter destruction — not by 
 a powerful invader at the head of 20,000 men — not by a 
 plague or a famine — not by a tyrannical prince (for we 
 never had one more gracious) or a corrupt administration 
 — but by one single, diminutive, insignificant mechanic. 
 ... It is no loss of honour to submit to the lion, but 
 who with the figure of a man can think with patience 
 of being devoured alive by a rat ? "^ 
 
 ' Drapier's Letter II, " Ibid. 
 
214 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 On the insult involved by the refusal to cancel the 
 patent in answer to Ireland's demand Swift lays great 
 stress. " Put the case, that the two Houses of Lords and 
 Commons of England, and the privy council there, should 
 address his Majesty to recall a patent from whence they 
 apprehend the most ruinous consequences to the whole 
 kingdom ; and, to make it stronger if possible, that the 
 whole nation, almost to a man, should thereupon discover 
 ' the most dismal apprehensions,' as Mr. Wood styles 
 them ; would his Majesty debate half an hour what he 
 had to do ? Would any minister dare to advise him 
 against recalling such a patent ? Or would the matter 
 be referred to the privy council or to Westminster Hall, 
 the two Houses of Parliament plaintiffs and William 
 Wood defendant ? And is there even the smallest dif- 
 ference between the two cases ? 
 
 " Were not the people of Ireland born as free as those 
 of England ? How have they forfeited their freedom ? 
 Is not their parliament as fair a representative of the 
 people as that of England ? And has not their privy 
 council as great or a greater share in the administration 
 of public affairs ? Are not they subjects of the same 
 king ? Does not the same sun shine upon them ? And 
 have they not the same God for their protector ? Am I 
 a freeman in England, and do I become a slave in six 
 hours by crossing the Channel ? " ' 
 
 ". . . It is true indeed that within the memory of man 
 the parliaments of England have sometimes assumed the 
 power of binding this kingdom by laws enacted there ; 
 wherein they were at first openly opposed (as far as truth, 
 reason, and justice are capable of opposing) by the famous 
 Mr. Molyneux,^ an English gentleman born here, as well 
 
 ' Drapier's Letter III. 
 
 " Mr. Molyneux, in "The case of Ireland being bound by Acts of 
 Parliament in England stated," had maintained that the Irish Parlia- 
 ment possessed an immemorial right to freedom of legislatioti, 
 
The Dean of St. PatricJis. 215 
 
 as by several of the greatest patriots and best Whigs in 
 England ; but the love and torrent of power prevailed. 
 Indeed the arguments on both sides were invincible. For 
 in reason, all government without the consent of the 
 governed is the very definition of slavery; but in fact, 
 eleven men well armed will certainly subdue one single 
 man in his shirt. But I have done ; for those who have 
 used power to cramp liberty, have gone so far as to resent 
 even the liberty of complaining, although a man upon the 
 rack was never known to be refused the liberty of roaring 
 as loud as he thought fit." ' 
 
 The last few paragraphs were little less than a demand 
 for the parliamentary independence of Ireland. The 
 boldest, however, could hardly expect so much for many 
 years to come. For the_ present the enemy was Wood's 
 halfpence. As the best weapon against them Swift recom- 
 mends what I believe is the first instance of " boy- 
 cotting" in Irish history. 
 
 " When the evil day is come (if it must come) let us 
 mark and observe those who presume to offer these half- 
 pence in payment. Let their names and trades and 
 places of abode be made public, that every one may be 
 aware of them as betrayers of their country and con- 
 federates with Mr. Wood. Let them be watched at 
 markets and fairs, and let_the first honest discoverer give 
 the word that Mr. Wood's halfpence have been offered 
 and caution the poor innocent people not to receive them." 
 
 The ensuing passage stands apart as an instance of 
 Swift's humour. Wood was declared to have threatened 
 to make the Irish " swallow his coin in fireballs." In 
 order to make fun of Wood Swift seizes on this state- 
 ment and actually treats it as a serious proposal. 
 
 " As to ' swallowing these halfpence in fireballs ' it is 
 ' Drapier's Letter IV. 
 
2 1 6 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 a story equally improbable. For to execute this opera- 
 tion, the whole stock of Mr. Wood's coin and metal must 
 be melted down and moulded into hollow balls with wild- 
 fire, no bigger than a reasonable throat may be able to 
 swallow. Now, the metal he has prepared, and already 
 coined, will amount to at least fifty millions of halfpence, 
 to be swallowed by a million and a half of people ; so 
 that, allowing two halfpence to each ball, there will be 
 about seventeen balls of wildfire apiece to be swallowed 
 by every person in the kingdom ; and to administer this 
 dose there cannot be conveniently fewer than fifty thousand 
 operators, allowing one operator to every thirty, which, 
 considering the squeamishness of some .stomachs and the 
 peevishness of young children, is but reasonable. Now, 
 under correction of better judgments, I think the trouble 
 and charge of such an experiment would exceed the profit." ' 
 
 In conclusion, the following is interesting as giving 
 Swift's explanation of the method he chose in attacking 
 Wood; it is one of the very few instances in which 
 Swift quotes Scripture : 
 
 " I was in the case of David, who could not move 
 in the armour of Saul, and therefore I rather chose 
 to attack this uncircumcised Philistine (Wood, I mean) 
 with a sling and a stone. And I may say, for Wood's 
 honour as well as my own, that he resembles Goliath 
 in many circumstances very applicable to the present 
 purpose, for Goliath had ' a helmet of brass upon his 
 head, and he was armed with a coat of mail ; and the 
 weight of the coat was five thousand shekels of brass; and 
 he had greaves of brass upon his legs, and a target of 
 brass between his shoulders.' In short, he was like Mr. 
 Wood, all over brass, and he defied the armies of the 
 living God. Goliath's conditions of combat were likewise 
 ' Drapier's Letter IV. 
 
The Dean of St. Pal-ricMs. 217 
 
 the same with those of Wood : ' if he prevail against 
 us, then shall we be his servants.' But if it happens that 
 I prevail over him, I renounce the other part of the con- 
 dition ; ' he shall never be a servant of mine, for I do not 
 think him fit to be trusted in any honest man's shop.' " ' 
 The history of Wood's halfpence can soon be told. A 
 Committee of Inquiry opened in answer to Irish demands 
 in April, 1724, recommended a reduction of the proposed 
 coinage to £40,000. But Swift's first Drapier's Letter, 
 published before the committee's report was issued, had 
 inflamed the people to madness. The second and third 
 letters followed in August. The fourth letter, addressed 
 " to the whole people of Ireland," appeared in October. 
 A stirring summons to national independence, the sensa- 
 tion it aroused was extraordinary. The Government at 
 last felt bound to take action. Harding, the Drapier's 
 printer, was arrested, and a reward of £300 offered for the 
 apprehension of the Drapier himself. But England saw 
 that conciliation was needed besides force. They recalled 
 the actual lord lieutenant, the Duke of Grafton, a man 
 of dull manners and no ability, and sent over in his place 
 the brilliant and versatile Lord Carteret. The latter was 
 an old friend of Swift's, and had no wish to embitter 
 public feeling. In addition to this, though Swift's author- 
 ship was universally known, any informer against him 
 would have been in peril of his life. It was resolved, 
 however, to press the charge against Harding. On 
 November nth his cause came on before Chief Justice 
 Whitshed. The grand jury threw out the bill. They 
 were dismissed after a furious denunciation from the 
 judgment-seat. Another grand jury was summoned. 
 Again the judge threatened, expostulated, and reviled. 
 Their only reply was to present Wood's halfpence as a 
 ' Drapier's Letter IV. 
 
2 1 8 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 common nuisance. Beaten at last, the English Govern- 
 ment gave up the struggle. Wood's patent was can- 
 celled, a pension of £3,000 a year for eight years being 
 given to him in compensation for the great expense and 
 trouble he had undergone. 
 
 Swift's triumph was complete. He had taught Ireland 
 for the first time in her history to substitute constitutional 
 agitation for the old system of rebellion, and he had made 
 her first effort in this new field a brilliant success. He 
 had given the Irish parliamentary party the watchword, 
 " Free trade and legislative independence." Alone among 
 Irish leaders he had united every class in Ireland, Church- 
 man, Catholic, and Dissenter into an irresistible phalanx. 
 On his arrival in Dublin in 1714 he had been the most 
 unpopular man in the city ; he was now its idol. 
 
 All this might well have been a source of pride. But we 
 should err greatly in regarding Swift as satisfied by his 
 triumph. Disappointed ambition and personal pique had 
 set too deep a mark on his nfoody spirit. Even now he 
 looked on Ireland as a land of exile. ^ In the organised 
 schemes of its would-be liberators he refused to share. 
 He had shown the power of his genius ; he had defeated 
 that Whig aristocracy which ten years before had so 
 exulted in his downfall. For the rest he cared not. He 
 well knew the emptiness of popular favour. One will 
 again find him denouncing the iniquities of Irish mis- 
 government ; but it is not as the patriot who suffers with 
 his country, but as the misanthrope who finds in the vice 
 and folly of his fellow-creatures fit food for the ravenous 
 appetite of his rage. The success of the Drapier arrested 
 not the despondent bitterness which now begins to grow 
 upon him more strongly year by year. 
 
 " In 1727 Swift wrote : 
 
 " Remove me from this land of slaves. 
 Where all are fools and all are knaves.'' 
 
CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 " GULLIVERS travels:' 
 
 Story of a marriage between Swift and Stella — This not the case — 
 ^_^ Evidence — No definite intention on Swift's part ever to marry — 
 ^Reasons — His relations to Stella never more than those of a 
 friend — Stella at the deanery — With Swift at Quiica — Experi- 
 ences there — Swift's birthday odes to Stella — Her want of senti- 
 ment — This admired by Swift — Witticisms of Stella — Visit of 
 Swift to England in 1726 — Illness of Stella — Swift's letters 
 'thereon — He returns to Dubhn — Publication of " Gulliver's 
 \T ravels " — Plan of the work — Extracts — Swift's opinion of 
 princes, prime ministers, the House of Commons, the peerage 
 — Denunciation of war — Of lawyers — Of English public life — 
 Swift's ideal simplicity — His theories of education and marriage 
 — Passage on lying — The people who never die — " Gulliver's 
 Travels " a general anathema — Swift's last visit to England in 
 1727 — Death of George I. does not aid the Tories — Renewed 
 illness of Stella — Swift's unhappiness — He returns to Dublin — 
 Death of Stella — Swift's comments thereon. 
 
 It has been shown, in the preceding chapter, that be- 
 tween the connection with Stella and the connection with 
 Vanessa there was a difference in kind. In spite, there- 
 fore, of their external similarity, it has seemed best to 
 treat these two passages in Swift's life entirely apart. 
 
 There is a fixed tradition with the average type of 
 English novelist, that his task remains undone till the 
 hero of his fancy finds a resting place in the joys of a 
 
 conventionally loving wife. This theory has extended its 
 
 219 
 
2 20 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 dominion beyond the realm of fiction ; and English 
 biographers, even the most unprejudiced, have come to 
 doubt the possibility of a permanent friendship between 
 two persons of opposite sex, unjoined by marriage. 
 
 It was probably in obedience to the same feeling that 
 most of Swift's contemporaries insisted so strongly on the 
 marriage between him and Esther Johnson. 
 
 Their statements have been regarded as authoritative 
 by later writers," and therefore need a brief recapitulation. 
 
 Lord Orrery, in his " Remarks upon the Life and 
 Writings of Dr. Jonathan Swift," published in 1751, says 
 " Stella was the concealed but undoubted wife of Dr. 
 Swift, and if my informations are right, she was married 
 to him in the year 1716 by Dr. Ashe, then Bishop of 
 Clogher." Whence these " informations " came, Orrery 
 does not state. Dr. Delany, in his " Observations upon 
 Lord Orrery's Remarks," published three years later, 
 merely expresses his agreement with Orrery's bare 
 assertion. Mr. Deane Swift, in his " Essay on the Life 
 and Writings of Dr. Jonathan Swift," written in 1756, is 
 equally vague ; and the various statements on the subject 
 made by the younger Sheridan in his " Life of Swift " 
 are so crowded with palpable inaccuracies as to be 
 entirely inconclusive. Dr. Johnson was told by a certain 
 Samuel Madden that, soon after his forty-ninth year. 
 Swift was married to Stella by Dr. Ashe. The ceremony, 
 said Madden, took place at Dublin, in the deanery 
 
 ' Sir Walter Scott and Mr. Craik, in their Lives of Swift, uphold 
 the marriage. For the opposite view see Monck Mason and an 
 article on " Dean Swift in Ireland," Quarterly Review, vol. 156. Mr. 
 Leslie Stephen, in his monograph on Swift, in the English Men Oi 
 Letters Series, commits himself to neither side. The late Mr. Forster, 
 in vol. i. of his unfinished Life of Swift, expresses strong disbelief in 
 the marriage. 
 
"Gullivers Travels." 221 
 
 garden. Madden was a man of erratic character, and 
 there is no evidence that he ever met Swift or any of his 
 circle. He, therefore, merely repeats the current rumour 
 of his time, with the addition of a little picturesque detail. 
 Mr. Monck Berkeley, on page xxxvi. of his " Literary 
 Relics," published in 1789, is more definite. According 
 to him. Swift and Esther Johnson were married in 1716, 
 by the Bishop of Clogher, " who himself," says the 
 annalist, " related the circumstance to Bishop Berkeley, 
 by whose relict the story was communicated to me." 
 Bishop Berkeley was in Italy at the date of the supposed 
 marriage, and remained there till 1721. The Bishop of 
 Clogher died in 1717, without having left Ireland since 
 the same date. The news must therefore have been 
 communicated to his friend by letter. But till this letter 
 is prodiaced, Monck Berkeley's statement made on third- 
 hand information, seventy-three years after the event, 
 goes for nothing. 
 
 The whole evidence for the marriage may be thus 
 summed up in a vague rumour, utterly unsupported by 
 documentary evidence. 
 
 What, then, is the presumption against the marriage ? 
 
 In the first place, there is no extant record on the point 
 by the three persons mostly concerned — Dr. Ashe, Swift, 
 and Esther Johnson. In the numerous communications 
 that passed, between Swift and Stella subsequent to 1716, 
 they write to one another as ordinary friends. This may 
 be so, say the upholders of the marriage ; but it had 
 taken place on the understanding that it should be kept 
 secret, and that no cohabitation should ensue. Swift's 
 most marked characteristic was an openness that verged 
 on brutality. Is it likely that from 1716 to 1728, the 
 date of Stella's death, he could have kept up so elaborate 
 and organised a scheme of hypocrisy ' The quality he 
 
222 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 most admired in his friends was honesty. Would he have 
 forced that dearest friend of all to describe herself in 
 her last will and testament as a single woman, when this 
 was not the case ? But even in his most secret records, 
 where there was no motive for concealment, records which 
 only accident has preserved, the Journal written at Holy- 
 head in 1727, and the Memoir and other notices composed 
 after Stella's death, he never speaks of Esther Johnson 
 save as his "dearest friend." It is the same with private 
 letters written hurriedly to friends when Stella's death was 
 hourly expected. No word is used which could be possibly 
 construed into a reference to marriage. More than this, 
 the one person whose testimony is most important of all, 
 Mrs. Dingley, Stella's companion and confidante, to whom 
 even the Journal to Stella and all similar communications 
 were submitted, always denied the story of the marriage. 
 Yet it was largely to her friend's interest that the fact of 
 a marriage should be established. Mrs. Brent, the dean's 
 housekeeper in 1716, was equally positive against it. 
 "lastly, we have the great authority of Dr. John Lyon. 
 He was Swift's personal attendant during his declining 
 years, managed his private affairs, and took charge of all 
 his papers. Yet after going carefully into all the possible 
 evidence, written and oral, on the subject, he came to the 
 conclusion that there was no foundation for the marriage 
 but " hearsay authority, and that very ill founded." 
 
 In my opinion, not only did no marriage ever take 
 place between Swift and Stella, but none was ever contem- 
 plated. Up to his forty-seventh year Swift's income was 
 very small ; and his contempt for the traditional married 
 clergyman with a large family is too well known to need 
 illustration. Besides financial considerations, it must be 
 remembered that to the purely physical side of marriage 
 Swift had a most intense aversion. Even in youth his 
 
" Gulliver s Travels" 223 
 
 temperament was extremely cold. Though intensely fond 
 of female society, he valued his fair acquaintances for 
 their mental rather than their physical charms. In 
 manhood his constitution was undermined by frequent 
 attacks of ill-health. There is, in fact, much to support 
 the contention that even before his appointment to the 
 deanery of St. Patrick's, celibacy had become a matter of 
 necessity. I The closeness of the bond between Swift and 
 Stella is well exhibited by Swift's language in the Journal 
 written from London during the years 1710-1713. I, 
 however, believe that, even then, he looked upon their 
 relation as one of friendship only. It is characteristic of 
 Swift's indifference to ordinary sentiment that he should 
 have sought and obtained a girl's love, without any fixed 
 intention of offering her the usual return. Whether he is 
 to be blamed, is a point on which the reader may form 
 his own opinion. The biographer's duty is to explain 
 conduct, not to judge it. 
 
 The old terms between Swift and Stella were renewed as 
 closely as ever after Swift's return to Dublin in August, 
 1714. In their intercourse he took especial pains to ob- 
 serve the proprieties. Mrs. Brent, the dean's housekeeper, 
 subsequently told Hawkesworth that " Mrs. Johnson never 
 came alone to the deanery, that Mrs. Dingley and she 
 always came together, and that she never slept in that 
 house if the dean was there, only in time of his sickness, 
 to attend him, and see him well taken care of; and during 
 this course of her generous attendance Mrs. Dingley and 
 she slept together, and, as soon as he recovered, they re- 
 turned to their lodgings in Ormond's Quay." During the 
 dean's absence from Dublin, Stella and Mrs. Dingley 
 usually resided at the deanery to take charge of the 
 
 " There is a very sensible discussion of tliis question in Sir Walter 
 Scott's Life of Swift, pp. 216-220. (Edition of 1834.) 
 
2 24 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 house. Of Stella herself we have few notices. She always 
 appeared at Swift's dinner parties on Sunday evenings ; 
 she met him at the Wednesday receptions, given by Dr. 
 Delany at his house of Delville ; and she was a guest 
 with him at the ramshackle country seat of Quilca, 
 belonging to Dr. Thomas Sheridan, a Dublin school- 
 master, careless, witty, and a great friend of Swift's. The 
 great Dean of St. Patrick's did not bear trifling incon- 
 veniences like a hero, and there exists an amusing 
 impeachment drawn up by him against " The Blunders, 
 Deficiencies, Distresses, and Misfortunes of Quilca (pro- 
 posed to contain twenty-one volumes in quarto. Begun 
 April 20, 1724, and to be continued weekly, if due 
 encouragement be given)." 
 
 The following extracts will give an example of this 
 formidable indictment : 
 
 " The door of the dean's bed-chamber full of large 
 chinks. 
 
 " The dean's bed threatening every night to fall under 
 him. 
 
 " The passages open overhead, by which the cats pass 
 continually into the cellar and eat the victuals, for which 
 one was tried, condemned, and executed by the sword. 
 
 " But one chair in the house fit for sitting on, and that 
 in a very ill state of health. 
 
 " The grate in the ladies' (Stella's and Mrs. Dingley's) 
 bed-chamber forced to be removed, by which they were 
 compelled to be without fire, the chimney smoking intoler- 
 ably, and the dean's great-coat employed to stop the wind 
 from coming down the chimney, without which expedient 
 they must have been frozen to death. 
 
 " Not one utensil for a fire, except an old pair of tongs, 
 which travels through the house, and is likewise employed 
 
"Gulliver's Travels !' 225 
 
 to take the meat out of the pot for want of a flesh- 
 fork. 
 
 " Every servant an arrant thief as to victuals and drink. 
 
 April 28th. — " The ladies' and dean's servants growing 
 fast into the thieveries and manners of the natives ; the 
 ladies themselves very much corrupted ; the dean per- 
 petually storming, and in danger of either losing all his 
 flesh or sinking into barbarity for the sake of peace. 
 
 " Bellum lactceum, or the milky battle, fought between 
 the dean and the crew of Quilca ; the latter insisting on 
 their privilege of not milking till eleven in the forenoon, 
 whereas Mrs. Johnson wanted milk at eight for her 
 health. In this battle the dean got the victory ; but 
 the crew of Quilca begin to rebel again, for it is this day 
 almost ten o'clock, and Mrs. Johnson has not got her 
 milk. 
 
 " A proverb on the laziness and lodgings of the servants 
 — ' The worse their sty — the longer they lie.' " 
 
 People who met Stella have recorded their admiration 
 of the beauty which she still retained in spite of advancing 
 years. She had very fine dark eyes, with hair of raven 
 blackness, and a pensive, but not melancholy expression. 
 Regularly on Stella's birthday the dean presented her with 
 a copy of verses. 
 
 The following, though pretty, would, one fears, have 
 experienced a dubious reception from a less intimate 
 friend. It is dated for March 13, 1719 : 
 
 " Stella this day is thirty-four 
 (We shan't dispute a year or more) : 
 However, Stella, be not troubled 
 Although thy size and years are doubled 
 Since first I saw thee at sixteen, 
 The brightest virgin on the green ; 
 16 
 
2 26 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 So little is thy form declined ; 
 Made up so largely in thy mind. 
 
 would it please the gods tb split 
 Thy beauty, years, and size, and wit ! 
 
 " No age could furnish out a pair 
 Of nymphs so graceful, wise, and fair ; 
 With half the lustre of your eyes, 
 With half your wit, your years and size. 
 And then, before it grew too late, 
 How should I beg of gentle fate 
 (That either nymph might have her swain) 
 To split my worship too in twain." 
 
 The following extract from another poem, written five 
 years later, shows what qualities of Stella Swift chiefly 
 prized : 
 
 " When, among scholars, can we find 
 So soft and yet so firm a mind ? 
 All accidents of life conspire 
 To raise up Stella's virtue higher, 
 Or else to introduce the rest 
 Which had been latent in her breast. 
 Her firmness who could e'er have known, 
 Had she not evils of her own .' 
 Her kindness who could ever guess, 
 Had not her friends been in distress .' 
 Whatever base returns you find 
 From me, dear Stella, still be kind. 
 In your own heart you'll reap the fruit, 
 Though I continue still a brute. 
 But, when I once am out of pain ' 
 
 1 promise to be good again ; 
 Meantime, your other juster friends 
 Shall for my follies make amends ; 
 So may we long continue thus, 
 Admiring you, you pitying us." 
 
 In Swift's fondness for Stella one again remarks' his 
 
 " This poem was written while Swift was very ill. 
 
" Gulliver s Travels.'' -227 
 
 preference for practical simplicity rather than refined 
 sentiment ; for sympathy rather than adoration. That 
 Stella's was a plain, if not a homely nature, is shown by 
 the "good sayings of Stella," of which Swift made a 
 collection. They certainly savour far more of the house- 
 keeper's room than of the boudoir. 
 
 " A gentleman who had been very silly and pert in her 
 company at last began to grieve at remembering the loss 
 of a child lately dead. A bishop sitting by comforted 
 him — that he should be easy because the child was gone 
 to heaven. ' No, my lord,' said she, ' that is it which 
 most grieves him, because he is sure never to see his child 
 there.' 
 
 " A very dirty clergyman of her acquaintance, who 
 affected smartness and repartees, was asked by some of 
 the company how his nails came to be so dirty : he was 
 at a loss, but she solved the difficulty by saying, 
 ' The doctor's nails grew dirty by scratching himself.' 
 
 " On one occasion she called to her servants to know 
 what ill smell was in the kitchen ; they answered, they 
 were making matches. " Well," said she, " I have heard 
 matches were made in heaven, but by the brimstone one 
 would think they were made in hell."^ 
 
 In 1726 Swift resolved to answer the persistent invita- 
 tions of his friends by a visit to England. 
 
 The Whigs under Walpole's leadership still monopo- 
 lised all power. But the Tories had recovered from their 
 panic of twelve years ago, and, encouraged by the support 
 of the Prince of Wales, were engaged in vigorous opposi- 
 tion. Oxford had died in 1724. Ormond was still in 
 exile. But Bolingbroke, by a judicious bribe to the 
 Duchess of Kendal, had obtained a pardon with leave to 
 
 " From a paper of Swift's entitled "Bon Mots de Stella." 
 
2 28 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 return to England. His property was restored, tho>igh 
 he was not allowed to resume his seat in the House of 
 Lords. Literary enterprise, however, made up for exclu- 
 sion from the senate ; and he was busily endeavouring, 
 as a pamphleteer, to recover the power he had lost as a 
 statesman. 
 
 Swift's literary friends were still vigorous and united. 
 Arbuthnot, no longer Court physician, solaced himself 
 by the cultivation of a genial cynicism towards things 
 in general. Gay was being patronised by the Duke 
 and Duchess of Queensberry. Prior, checked in his 
 diplomatic career by the advent of the Whigs to power, 
 had been compensated for his losses by Lord Oxford, and 
 was as cheerful and epigrammatic as of yore. Pope, a 
 beginner when Swift had left London, had made over 
 £8,000 by his translation of the Homeric poems, and 
 was now living in cultured ease at his villa of Twickenham. 
 Even William Congreve, though grievously afflicted with 
 gout and blindness, was stilLable to enjoy the pleasures 
 of social intercourse. 
 
 Swift arrived in England in March, 1726. After 
 staying with Gay in London he paid long visits to 
 Bolingbroke, Pope, and Arbuthnot. Besides advising his 
 friends on their own projects. Swift took their opinion on 
 his own great work, " Gulliver's Travels," the manu- 
 script of which he had brought with him. 
 
 He paid his court at Leicester House, the Prince of 
 Wales's residence ; and became great friends with pretty 
 Mrs. Howard, afterwards Lady Suffolk, the prince's 
 mistress. The authorities in Ireland had been much 
 alarmed at" the redoubtable Drapier's visit to England ; 
 and wrote to Walpole suggesting that an eye should be 
 kept on his movements. The minister took the hint, 
 asked ' Swift to dinner, and graciously granted him a 
 
" Gulliver s Travels." 2.i<^ 
 
 private interview. It is probable that Walpole would 
 have gladly won over so able a partisan. But Swift, 
 whose adhesion to the Whigs was under any circum- 
 stances impossible, only asked redress for the most 
 flagrant Irish grievances. Walpole refused, and the 
 breach between Swift and the Whigs remained unhealed. ' 
 
 In the midst of his new interests he was suddenly 
 plunged in alarm by news of Stella's serious ill-health. A 
 letter of his to Dr. Stopford, dated July 20, 1726, shows 
 the distress with which he received the sad intelligence. 
 " As I value life very little," says Swift, " so the poor casual 
 remains of it after such a loss would be a burden, that I 
 must heartily beg God Almighty to enable me to bear ; 
 and I think there is not a greater folly than that of 
 entering into too strict and particular a friendship, with 
 the loss of which a man must be absolutely miserable, 
 but especially at an age when it is too late to engage in 
 a new friendship. Besides, this was a person of my own 
 rearing and instructing from my childhood ; who excelled 
 in every good quality that can possibly accomplish a 
 human creature. . . . Dear Jim, pardon me, I know not 
 what I am saying ; but believe me, that violent friendship 
 is much more lasting than violent love." Luckily Stella 
 rallied. Swift had, however, made up his mind to return 
 to Dublin, and by the 22nd of August he was back at the 
 deanery. 
 
 In November, 1726, " Gulliver's Travels," the publica- 
 tion of which had been entrusted to Pope's discretion, 
 appeared.^ 
 
 ' See for Swift's demands a very interesting letter of his to Lord 
 Peterborough, April 28, 1726. 
 
 "= Swift obtained ^300 by " Gulliver's Travels.'' In spite of his 
 strong business aptitudes, he neither made nor tried to make anything 
 by his other works. 
 
230 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 " Gulliver's Travels " had its origin in the idea of a 
 great general satire on human foibles, projected as early 
 as 1714, by the Scriblerus Club. But the extraordinary 
 care spent on the work by Swift, the breadth of its appli- 
 cation, and the completeness with which it expresses his 
 peculiar sentiments during the twelve years that followed 
 his settlement at the deanery of St. Patrick's, make it in 
 every way his own. 
 
 A full commentary on "Gulliver's Travels" would 
 need a volume to itself. Critics have pointed out the 
 sources from which Swift derived the groundwork of his 
 plan ; they have explained the special allusions to con- 
 temporary history which abound throughout ; and they 
 have expatiated on the extraordinary skill with which 
 the story is told, the exactness of its proportions, the 
 accuracy of its logic, and the verisimilitude of its facts. ^ 
 
 Considered merely as a story the adventures of Captain 
 Gulliver, somewhat corrected by the necessary blue 
 pencil, have formed the delight of countless children. 
 I propose in the following pages to consider the work 
 from the point of view of its more serious and real inten- 
 tion. 
 
 The method of the book is obvious. Change man's 
 ' conventional view of himself, and how absurd, how 
 fatuous will appear everything in which he has previously 
 taken pride. 
 
 In Lilliput the reader is transported to a country 
 
 ' The reader is referred to Scott's " Life of Swift," Appendix V., 
 entitled " RemarliS on 'Gulliver's Travels' " ; to Taine, " Histoire de 
 la littdrature Anglaise,'' vol. iii. chap. v. part v. ; and to an article, 
 " Dean Swift in Ireland," in the Quarterly Review, vol. clvi. It is to 
 be feared that " Gulliver's Travels " is far better known as a story 
 than as a satire. A similar fate has befallen Fielding's " Jonathan 
 Wild." 
 
"Gullivers Travels^ 231 
 
 inhabited by pigmies six inches high. Their sovereign, 
 whose dominions extend within a circumference of no less 
 than twelve miles, happens to be taller b}^ the breadth of 
 Captain Gulliver's nail than any of his subjects. He 
 describes himself as "jthe delight and terror of the uni- 
 verse, whose dominions extend to the extremities of the 
 globe ; monarch of all monarchs, taller than the sons of 
 men ; whose feet press down to the centre, and whose 
 head strikes against the sun ; at whose nod the princes of 
 the earth shake their knees ; pleasant as the spring, com- 
 fortable as the summer, fruitful as autumn, dreadful as 
 winter." His courtiers are divided into two great 
 opposing factions, the High Heels and the Low Heels. 
 His whole realm is racked by the question of questions: 
 Shall men break their eggs at the big end or at the little 
 end ? Then comes the inference : Would not our own ' 
 assumptions of princely grandeur, our own political 
 parties, and our own religious schisms seem equally 
 trivial if viewed by a superior being ? 
 
 In Brobdingnag the telescope is reversed. Gulliver is 
 a pigmy among giants. Many cherished illusions are 1 
 now destroyed through the medium of a magnifying glass. 
 The coarse skins of the Brobdingnagian ladies turn* 
 Gulliver sick with horror. Would not our own beauties 1 
 be equally hideous if seen on a similar scale ? TNaturalt 
 operations among the Brobdingnagians are tne quint-' 
 essence of disgust. Is not it really the same with us ? 
 But the satire in Brobdingnag soon drops back to the 
 attack on human pettiness. | Swift has a love for his 
 genial giants, with their contempt for philosophic^ 
 quibbles, their hatred of legal subtleties, and their 
 ignorance of political finesse. He delights in the scorn 
 they express for him and his fellows. " After a hearty 
 fit of laughing," says Gulliver, " the King of Brobdingnag i 
 
232 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 asked me whether I was a Whig or a Tory?" \Then, 
 turning to his first minister, who waited behind him with 
 a white staff, near as tall as the mainmast of the Royal 
 Sovereign, he observed, " How contemptible a thing was 
 human grandeur, which could be mimicked by such 
 diminutive insects as I ! and yet," says he, " I dare 
 engage, these creatures have their titles and distinctions 
 "of honour ; they contrive little nests and burrows that 
 they call houses and cities ; they make a figure in dress 
 and equipage ; they love, they fight, they dispute, they 
 cheat, and they betray ! " 
 
 In Laputa we are confronted with the absurdities of 
 science and philosophy pushed to their extremes. Gul- 
 liver finds projectors trying to build house *from the roof 
 downwards; to extract sunbeams from cucumbers; to 
 prevent the growth of wool upon young lambs, " by which 
 it was hoped in a reasonable time to propagate the breed 
 of naked sheep all over the kingdom." Others have a 
 wonderful scheme to simplify conversation by abolishing 
 words. But are these schemes much more foolish than 
 those which rise in the brains of our own pedants ? ^ 
 
 Swift's satire increases in severity as he goes on. It is 
 mild in Lilliput and Brobdingnag. It grows fiercer in 
 Laputa. In the fourth part of the work, where the 
 horses, Houyhnhnms, are described as rulers, while man, 
 the Yahoo, is in the condition of a beast, the satire 
 reaches to the very summit of indignant scorn. Know- 
 ledge and civilisation have been exposed. The elemental 
 instincts of the human being are now shown to be 
 
 ' In justice to Swift it should be remembered that this passage was 
 written shortly after the great financial mania known as the South 
 Sea Bubble. There was a rage for speculation at that time, and 
 schemes for working a wheel for perpetual motion, and for trans- 
 muting quicksilver into a fine malleable metal, found ready support. 
 
" Gulliver-' s Travels." 233- 
 
 abominable to the very core. Deprive man of reason, and / 
 we find the most detestable of nature's products. Fihhier/ 
 than the sow, more quarrelsome than the tiger, more 
 ravenous than the wolf, more noisome than the polecat, 
 more obscene than the pariah dog, one wonders what 
 possible reason there can be for the creation of so foul a 
 thing. But this is only the introduction. After a view 
 of civilisation, Swift comes to the conclusion that its vices 
 only aggravate man's bad instincts. Human reason, the 
 distinction which separates man from beast, in fact, is 
 only a quality " fitted to increase our natural vices, as the 
 reflection from a troubled stream returns the image of an 
 ill-shapen body, not only larger, but more distorted." ' / 
 
 The following quotations from "Gulliver's Travels" 
 will illustrate the style and ideas of that work. 
 
 One may begin with Swift's character of princes. / 
 " Three kings protested to me," says Gulliver at Glubb- 
 dubdrib, " that in their whole reigns they never did once 
 prefer any person of merit, unless by mistake, or 
 treachery of some minister in whom they confided ; 
 neither would they do it were they to live again ; " and 
 they showed with great strength of reason, " That the 
 royal throne could not be supported without corruption, 
 because that positive, confident, restive temper, which 
 virtue infused into a man, was a perpetual clog to public 
 business." 
 
 From the prince, we pass to the prime minister. " I 
 told him," says Gulliver to his master in Houyhnhnm 
 Land, " that a first or chief minister of state, who was the 
 
 ' The voyage to the Houyhnhnms, forming the fourth and most 
 effective part of'GulUver's Travels," is not printed, or at any rate 
 much cut down, in the popular editions of " Gulliver." The gross 
 incidents and disgusting details with which it is crowded to an extent 
 rare §ven for Swift, render it-unfit for general reading. 
 
234 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 person I intended to describe, was a creature wholly 
 exempt from joy and grief, love and hatred, pity and 
 anger ; at least, makes use of no other passions but a 
 violent desire of wealth, power, and titles ; that he applies 
 his words to all uses, except to the indication of his mind ; 
 that he never tells a truth but with an intent that you 
 should take it for a lie ; nor a lie, but with a design that 
 you should take it for a truth ; that those he speaks worst 
 of behind their backs are in the surest way of preferment ; 
 and whenever he begins to praise you to others, or to your- 
 self, you are from that day forlorn. The worst mark you 
 can receive is a promise, especially when it is confirmed 
 with an oath ; after which every man retires, and gives 
 over all hopes. 
 
 " There are three methods by which a man may rise to 
 be chief minister. The first is, by knowing how, with 
 prudence, to dispose of a wife, a daughter, or a sister ; the 
 second, by betraying or undermining his predecessor ; and 
 the third is, by a furious zeal in public assemblies, against 
 the corruptions of the court. But a wise prince would 
 rather choose to employ those who practise the last of 
 these methods : because such zealots prove always the 
 most obsequious and subservient to the will and passions 
 of their master. That these ministers, having all em- 
 ployments at their disposal, preserve themselves in power 
 by bribing the majority of a senate or great council; and 
 at last, by an expedient called an act of indemnity, they 
 secure themselves from after-reckonings and retire from 
 (the public laden with the spoils of the nation. 
 ^ "The palace of a chief minister is a seminary to breed up 
 others in his own trade : the pages, lackeys, and porter, 
 ijy imitating their master, become ministers of state in 
 their several districts, and learn to excel in the three prin- 
 cipal ingredients of insolence, lying, and bribery. Accord- 
 
" Gullivers Travels." 235 
 
 ingly, they have a subaltern court paid to them by persons 
 of the best rank ; and sometimes by the force of dexterity^ 
 and impudence arrive, through several gradations, to be 
 successors to their lord. He is usually governed by a 
 decayed wench, or favourite footman, who are the tunnels 
 through which all graces are conveyed, and may properly 
 be called, in the last resort, the governors of the kingdom." 
 
 So much for the prime minister. The following is 
 Swift's view of the House of Commons. At Glubbdub- 
 drib, the island of sorcerers, Captain Gulliver is able to 
 call up before him any character or scene in past or pre- 
 sent history. " I desired that the senate of Rome might 
 appear before me in one large chamber, and a modern 
 representative assembly in counterviewin another. The 
 first seemed to be an assembly of heroes and demigods ; 
 the other a knot of pedlars, pickpockets, highwaymen, 
 and bullies." 
 
 This was bad ; but the House of Commons, according 
 to Gulliver, is a communion of saints when compared 
 with the House of Lords. " Our young noblemen," says 
 he, " are bred from their childhood in idleness and luxury ; 
 as soon as years will permit, they consume their vigour ; 
 and when their fortunes are almost ruined, they marry 
 some woman of mean birth, disagreeable person, and un- 
 sound constitution (merely for the sake of the money), 
 whom they hate and despise. By which means the family 
 seldom continues above three generations ; a weak, dis- 
 eased body, a meagre countenance, and sallow complex- 
 ion are the true marks of noble blood ; and a healthy, 
 robust appearance is so disgraceful in a man of quality, 
 that the world concludes his real father to have been a 
 groom or a coaahman. The imperfections of his mind 
 run parallel with those of his body, being a composition of 
 spleen, dulness, ignorance, caprice, sensuality and pride."/ 
 
236 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 The denunciation of war implied in the following con- 
 versation in Houyhnhnm Land between Captain Gulliver 
 and his master, is specially remarkable. 
 
 " He asked me, ' What were the usual causes or motives 
 that made one country go to war with one another ? ' I 
 answered, ' They were innumerable, but I should only 
 mention a few of the chief. Sometimes the ambition of 
 princes, who never think they have land or people enough 
 to govern ; sometimes the corruption of ministers, who 
 engage their master in a war in order to stifle or divert the 
 clamour of the subjects against their evil administration. 
 Difference in opinions has cost many millions of lives : 
 for instance, whether flesh be bread, or bread be flesh ; 
 whether the juice of a certain berry be blood or wine ; 
 whether whistling be a vice or a virtuef whether it be 
 better to kiss a post or throw it into the nre ; what is the 
 best colour for a coat, whether black, white, red or gray ; 
 and whether it should be long or short, narrow or wide, 
 dirty or clean, with many more. Neither are any wars so 
 .furious and bloOdy, or of so long continuance, as those 
 occasioned by difference in opinion, especially if it be in 
 things indifferent' 
 
 '"Sometimes the quarrel between two princes is to decide 
 which of them shall dispossess a third of his dominions, 
 where neither of them pretend to any right. Sometimes 
 one prince quarrels with another, for fear the other should 
 quarrel with him. Sometimes a war is entered upon be- 
 cause the prince is too^strong, and sometimes because he 
 is too weak. Sometimes our neighbours want the things 
 which we have, or have the things which we want, and we 
 both fight till they take ours, or give us theirs. It is a 
 
 ' The allusions in the above passage are to disputes about Tran- 
 substantiation, the admission of the Cross into churches, and the 
 shape and colour of ecclesiastical vestments. 
 
" Gulliver s Travels!' iTy'j 
 
 very justifiable cause of war to invade a country after the 
 people have been wasted by famine, destroyed by pesti- 
 lence, or embroiled by factions among themselves. It is 
 justifiable to enter into war against our nearest ally when 
 one of his towns lies convenient for us, or a territory of 
 land, that would render our dominions round and compact. 
 If a prince sends forces into a nation where the people are 
 poor and ignorant, he may lawfully put half of them to 
 death, and make slaves of the rest, in order to civilise and 
 reduce them from their barbarous way of living. It is a 
 very kingly, honourable, and frequent practice, when one 
 prince desires the assistance of another to secure him 
 against an invasion, that the assistant, when he has driven 
 out the invader, should seize on the dominions himself, 
 and kilLj.imprison, or banish the prince he came to relieve. 
 Alliai^^j^Wy' blood or marriage is a frequent cause of war 
 between princes ; and the nearer their kindred is, .the 
 greater their disposition is to quarrel. Poor nations are 
 hungry, and rich nations are proud : aniivpride and hunger 
 will ever be at variance. For these reaso'iis the trade of a 
 soldier is held the most honourable of all others , because 
 a soldier is a Yahoo hired to kill, in cold blood, as many 
 of his own species who have never offended him as he 
 possibly can.' " i^i 
 
 If we look at private life, the condemnation is equally 
 severe. Take, for instance, the following judgment on 
 law and the lawyers. ' Gulliver tells the same master as 
 
 ' The attorney is the stock villain of eighteenth century romance. 
 For a specimen of the class see Smollett's novel of " The Adventures 
 of Ferdinand, Count Fathom." The attorney is always held up to 
 reprobation in the journals, ballads, and caricatures of the time. 
 English law during the last century was far more technical and cum- 
 brous than now. The student of the old law of Real Property will 
 find an excellent proof of this in the ancient method of barring an 
 entail, by suffering a common recovery. 
 
238 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 above that " There was a society of men among us, bred 
 up from their youth in the art of proving, by words 
 multiphed for the purpose, that white is black and black 
 is white, according as they are paid. To this society all 
 the rest of the people are slaves. For example, if my 
 neighbour has a mind to my cow, he has a lawyer to 
 prove that he ought to have my cow from me. I must 
 then hire another to defend my right, it being against all 
 rules of law that any man should be allowed to speak for 
 himself. Now, in this case, I, who am the right owner, 
 lie under two great disadvantages — first, my lawyer, being 
 practised almost from his cradle in defending falsehood, is 
 quite out of his element when he would be an advocate 
 for justice, which is an unnatural office he always attempts 
 with great awkwardness, if not with ill-will. The second 
 disadvantage is, that my lawyer must proceed with great 
 caution, or else he will be reprimanded by the judges and 
 abhorred by his brethren, as one that would lessen the 
 practice of the law. And therefore I have but two 
 methods to preserve my cow. The first is to gain over my 
 adversary's lawyer with a double fee, who will then betray 
 his client by insinuating that he has justice on his side. 
 The second way is, for my lawyer to make my cause 
 appear as unjust as he can, by allowing the cow to 
 belong to my adversary ; and this, if it be skilfully done, 
 will certainly bespeak the favour of the bench. . . . The 
 judges are persons appointed to decide all controversies of 
 property, as well as for the trial of criminals, and picked 
 out from the most dexterous lawyers, who are grown old 
 or lazy ; and having been biassed all their lives against 
 truth and equity, lie under such a fatal necessity of 
 favouring fraud, perjury and oppression, that I have 
 known some of them i-efuse a large bribe from the 'side 
 where justice lay, rather than injure the faculty, by doing 
 anything unbecoming their nature or their office; . . . 
 
" Gtillivers Travels." 239 
 
 " In pleading, the lawyers studiously avoid entering 
 into the merits of the cause, but are loud, violent, and 
 tedious in dwelling upon all circumstances which are not 
 to the purpose. For instance, in the case already men- 
 tioned, they never desire to know what claim or title my 
 adversary has to my cow ; but whether the said cow were 
 red or black ; her horns long or short ; whether the field 
 I graze her in be round or square; whether she was milked 
 at home or abroad ; what diseases she is subject to, and 
 the like ; after which they consult precedents, adjourn the 
 cause from time to time, and in ten, twenty, or thirty 
 years come to an issue. 
 
 " It is likewise to be observed, that this society has a 
 peculiar cant and jargon of their own, that no other 
 mortal can understand, and wherein all their laws are 
 written, which they take special care to multiply ; whereby 
 they have wholly confounded the very essence of truth 
 and falsehood, of right and wrong -1 so that it will take 
 thirty years to decide whether the field left me by my 
 ancestors for six generations belongs to me or to a 
 stranger three hundred miles off." 
 
 Swift's view of things in general is summed up in the 
 comment put into the King of Brobdingnag's mouth on 
 the view given by Gulliver of the state of England. 
 
 " My little friend, you have made a most admirable 
 panegyric upon your country; you have clearly proved 
 that ignorance, idleness, and vice, are the proper ingre- 
 dients for qualifying a legislator ; that laws are best 
 explained, interpreted, and apphed, by those whose 
 interest and abilities lie in perverting, confounding, and 
 eluding them. I observe among you some lines of an 
 institution, which, in its original, might have been toler- 
 able, but these half erased, and the rest wholly blurred, 
 and blotted by corruptions. It does not appear, from all 
 
240 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 you have said, how any one perfection is required, toward 
 the procurement of any one station among you ; much 
 less, that men are ennobled on account of their virtue ; 
 that priests are advanced for their piety and learning; 
 soldiers for their conduct or valour; judges for their 
 integrity ; senators for the love of their country ; or 
 counsellors for their wisdom. As for yourself," continued 
 the king, " who have spent the greater part of your life 
 in travelling, I am well disposed to hope you may hitherto 
 have escaped many vices of your country. But by what 
 I have gathered from your own relation, and the answers 
 I have with much pains wringed and extorted from you, I 
 cannot but conclude the bulk of your natives to be the 
 most pernicious race of little odious vermin that nature 
 ever suffered to crawl upon the surface of the earth." 
 
 Is there, then, no hope for his fellow-men ? Abso- 
 lutely none, answers Captain Gulliver. In the academy 
 of Lagado he met many impostors, drivellers, and idiots. 
 But those for whom he reserves his most withering scorn 
 were a set cf political projectors who were " proposing 
 schemes for persuading monarchs to choose favourites 
 upon the score of their wisdom, capacity, and virtue ; of 
 teaching ministers to consult the public good ; of reward- 
 ing merit, great abilities, and eminent services ; of in- 
 structing princes to know their true interest by placing it 
 on the same foundation with that of their people ; of 
 choosing for employments persons qualified to exercise 
 them ; " with many other wild impossible chimeras, that 
 never entered before into the heart of man to conceive ; 
 and confirmed in me the old observation, " That there 
 is nothing so extravagant and irrational, which some 
 philosophers have not maintained for truth." 
 
 Swift's ideal in politics may be gathered from what he 
 finds among the good-natured giants of Brobdingnag. 
 
"Gullivers Travels." 241 
 
 " I remember very well in a discourse one day with the . 
 king when I happened to say, ' there were several thou- 
 sand books among us written upon the art of government,' 
 it gave him (directly contrary to my intention) a very 
 mean opinion of our understandings. He professed both 
 to abominate and despise all mystery, refinement, and 
 intrigue either in a prince or in a minister. He could 
 not tell what I meant by secrets of state, where an enemy 
 or some rival nation was not in the case. He confined 
 the knowledge of governing within very narrow bounds, 
 to common sense and reason, to justice and lenity, to the 
 speedy determination of civil and criminal causes ; with 
 some other obvious topics, which are not worth consider- 
 ing. And he gave it for his opinion, 'that whoever could 
 make two ears of corn, or two blades of grass, to grow 
 upon a spot of ground where only one grew before, would 
 deserve better of mankind, and do more essential service 
 to his country, than the whole race of politicians put 
 together. . . . No law of that country (Brobdingnag) 
 must exceed in words the number of letters in their 
 alphabet, which consists only of two-and-twenty. But 
 indeed few of them extend even to that length. They 
 are expressed in the most plain and simple terms, wherein 
 those people are not mercurial enough to discover above 
 one interpretation ; and to write a comment upon any 
 law is a capital crime. As to the decision of civil causes, 
 or proceedings against criminals, their precedents are so 
 few, that they have little reason to boast of any extra- 
 ordinary skill in either." 
 
 Many passages in Gulliver illustrate Swift's peculiar 
 views on family !^life and education. The following is 
 from the voyage to Lilliput : 
 
 " Their notions relating to the duties of parents and 
 children differ extremely from ours. . . . They will never 
 
 1/ 
 
242 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 allow that a child is under any obligation to his parents 
 for bringing him into the world. . . . Their opinion is, 
 that parents are the last of all others to be entrusted 
 with the education of their own children : and therefore 
 they have in every town public nurseries, where all 
 parents, except cottagers and labourers, are obliged to 
 send their infants of both sexes to be reared and edu- 
 cated, when they come to the age of twenty moons, at 
 which time they are supposed to have some rudiments of 
 docility. These schools are of several kinds, suited to 
 different qualities and to both sexes. They have certain 
 professors, well skilled in preparing children for such a 
 condition of life as befits the rank of their parents, and 
 their own capacities, as well as inclinations." Swift then 
 describes with evident approval the method of education 
 followed by the Lilliputians. At a very early age, children 
 are sent to these establishments where they receive nurture 
 and education till of marriageable age. "Their parents are 
 suffered to see them only twice a year ; the visit is to last 
 but an hour ; they are allowed to kiss the child at meeting 
 and parting ; but a professor, who always stands by on 
 those occasions, will not suffer them to whisper, or use 
 any fondling expressions, or bring any presents of toys, 
 sweetmeats, or the like." All who have children in the 
 public establishments are compelled to pay the expenses 
 of education. " For the Lilliputians think nothing can be 
 more unjust than for people, in subservience to their own 
 appetites, to bring children into the world and leave the 
 burden of supporting them on the public." A similar 
 absence of parental affection, and a similar respect for 
 what is now known as Malthusianism, are admiringly 
 noted by Swift among the Houyhnhnms. 
 
 " They have no fondness for their colts or foals, but the 
 care they take in educating them proceeds entirely from 
 
" Gulliver s Travels!' 243 
 
 the dictates of reason. And I observed my master (the 
 dapple-grey horse) to show the same affection for his 
 neighbour's issue that he had for his own. They will 
 have it that nature teaches them to love the whole 
 species, and it is reason only that makes a distinction of 
 persons, where there is a superior degree of virtue." 
 
 Besides this philosophic absence of fondness for their 
 offspring, the Houyhnhnms are unaffected by the loss of 
 particular friends or near relations. " If they can avoid 
 casualties, they die only of old age, and are buried in the 
 obscurest places that can be found ; their friends and 
 relations expressing neither joy nor grief at their depar- 
 ture ; nor does the dying person discover the least regret 
 that he is leaving the world, any more than if he were 
 upon returning home from a visit to one of his neigh- 
 bours." Gulliver notes with admiration that in the well- 
 bred Houyhnhnm households there are never more than 
 two children. As a consequence, that country never suffers 
 from the miseries caused by over-population. 
 
 Marriage as practised among men excited Swift's 
 extreme contempt. It was very different in his ideal 
 equine State. 
 
 " Courtship, love, presents, jointures, settlements, have 
 no place in their thoughts, or terms whereby to express 
 them in their language. The young couple meet and are 
 joined, merely because it is the determination of their 
 parents and friends ; it is what they see done every day, 
 and they look upon it as one of the necessary actions 
 of a reasonable being. But unhappiness resulting from 
 marriage was never heard of ; and the married pair 
 pass their lives with the same friendship and mutual 
 benevolence that they bear to all others of the same 
 species who come in their way, without jealousy, fond- 
 ness, quarrelling, or discontent." 
 
244 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 His ideal of female education is well set forth by what 
 he finds among the Lilliputians. 
 
 " If it be found that the nurses ever presume to enter- 
 tain the girls with frightful or foolish stories, or the 
 common follies practised by chambermaids among us, 
 they are publicly whipped thrice about the city, imprisoned 
 for a year, and banished for life to the most desolate part 
 of the country. Thus, the young ladies there are as much 
 ashamed of being cowards and fools as the men, and 
 despise all personal adornments beyond decency and 
 cleanliness ; neither did I perceive any difference in the 
 education made by their difference of sex, only that the 
 exercise of the females were not altogether so robust, and 
 that some rules were given them relating to domestic life ; 
 and a smaller compass of learning was enjoined them : 
 for their maxim is that among people of quality a wife 
 should be always a reasonable and agreeable companion, 
 because she cannot always be young." 
 
 The same rule is followed in the land of horses. Gulli- 
 ver's master " thought it monstrous in us to give the 
 females a different kind of education from the males, 
 except in articles of domestic management ; whereby, as 
 he truly observed, one-half of our natives were good for 
 nothing but being mothers ; and to trust the care of our 
 children to such useless animals, he said, was yet a 
 greater instance of brutality." 
 
 The following is interesting in view of Swift's hatred of 
 falsehood : 
 
 " The Houyhnhnms have no word for ' lying.' When 
 they doubt some of Captain Gulliver's statements, they 
 tax him with ' saying the thing which is not.' It is with 
 the greatest difficulty that he makes them understand the 
 meaning of the words ' lying ' or ' misrepresentation.' 
 ' The use of speech,' say these right-minded creatures, 
 
" Gulliver s Travels.'^ 245 
 
 ' was to make us understand one another, and to receive 
 information of facts ; now, if any one said the thing 
 which was not, these ends were defeated because I can- 
 not properly be said to understand him ; and I am so 
 far from receiving information that he leaves me worse 
 than in ignorance ; for I am led to believe a thing black 
 when it is white, and short when it is long.' And these 
 were all the notions he had concerning the faculty of 
 lying, so perfectly well understood, and so universally 
 practised, among human creatures." 
 
 In his visit to Lugnagg, Captain Gulliver comes across 
 the Struldbrugs, ix., the people who never die. Their 
 description occupies the most frightful and at the same 
 time the most significant page in Swift's writings. From 
 his youth upwards, Swift had a horror of old age. The 
 disease, querulousness and decay which accompany 
 advancing years, seemed to him to rob poor humanity of 
 the only merits which made it endurable. Most of all he 
 dreaded old age for himself. He was a lonely man. His 
 health was bad. He already often suffered from loss of 
 memory. And he contemplated with terror the approach 
 of that cheerless twilight of physical and mental ruin 
 which in so many cases precedes the end. 
 
 " They (the Struldbrugs) commonly acted like mortals 
 till about thirty years old, after which by degrees they 
 grew melancholy and dejected, increasing in both till they 
 came to fourscore. When they came to fourscore years, 
 which is reckoned the extremity of living in this country, 
 they had not only all the follies and infirmities of other 
 old men, but many more, which arose from the dreadful 
 prospect of never dying. They were not only opiniona- 
 tive, peevish, covetous, morose, vain, talkative, but in- 
 capable of friendship, and dead to all natural affection, 
 which never descended below their grandchildren. Envy 
 
246 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 and impotent desires are their prevailing passions. But 
 those objects against which their envy seems principally 
 directed are the vices of the younger sort and the deaths 
 of the old. By reflecting on the former they find them- 
 selves cut off from all possibility of pleasure ; and when- 
 ever they see a funeral they lament and repine that others 
 are gone to a harbour of rest to which they themselves 
 can never hope to arrive. They have no remembrance of 
 anything but what they learned and observed in their 
 youth and middle age, and even that is very imperfect. 
 And for the truth or particulars of any fact, it is safer to 
 depend on common tradition than upon their best recollec- 
 tions. The least miserable among them appear to be 
 those who turn to dotage and entirely lose their memo- 
 ries ; these meet with more pity and assistance be- 
 cause they want many bad qualities which abound in 
 others. . . . 
 
 "At ninety they lose their teeth and hair; they have 
 at that age no distinction of taste, but eat and drink 
 whatever they can get, without relish or appetite. The 
 diseases they were subject to still continue, without in- 
 creasing, or diminishing. In talking they forget the 
 common appellation of things and the names of persons, 
 even of those who are their nearest friends and relations. 
 For the same reason they never can amuse themselves 
 with reading, because their memory will not serve to 
 carry them from the beginning of a sentence to the end ; 
 and by this defect they are deprived of the only entertain- 
 ment whereof they might otherwise be capable, 
 
 " The language of this country being always on the 
 flux, the Struldbrugs of one age do not understand those 
 of another; neither are they able, after two hundred 
 years, to hold any conversation (further than by a few 
 general words) with their neighbours, the mortals ; and 
 
" Gullivers Travels." 247 
 
 thus they lie under the disadvantage of living like 
 foreigners in their own country. . . . 
 
 " I afterwards saw five or six of different ages, the 
 youngest not above two hundred years old, who were 
 brought to me at several times by some of my friends, 
 but although they were told ' that I was a great traveller, 
 and had seen all the world,' they had not the least 
 curiosity to ask me a question; only desired I would 
 give them slumskudask, or a token of remembrance ; 
 which is a modest way of begging, to avoid the law that 
 strictly forbids it, because they are provided for by the 
 public, although indeed with a scanty allowance. ... 
 
 " They were the most mortifying sight I ever beheld ; 
 and the women more horrible than the men. Besides 
 the usual deformities in extreme old age, they acquired 
 an additional ghastliness, in proportion to their number 
 of years, which is not to be described ; and among half 
 a dozen I soon distinguished which was the eldest, 
 although there was not above a century or two between 
 them." _ ^^ 
 
 Attempts have been made to assign a definite aim to 
 " Gulliver's Travels." According to some critics it was 
 to mortify pride ; according to others it sought to exalt 
 the virtues of simplicity ; others again have looked on it 
 as a political allegory applicable solely to the t^me at 
 which it was written. But on a careful reading of the 
 work I feel unable to accept this view. It is not so 
 much a satire at all as a universal denunciation. It is 
 Timon howling out curses against the world ; or Mephis- 
 topheles counting up the sins and follies of mankind with 
 a sneer of triumph. According to Gulliver, man's in- 
 stincts are vile, his civilisation is vile, and the two 
 together produce the most execrable combination in 
 
248 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 nature. No sex, no class, no institution, no sentiment, 
 no theory is mentioned save for sweeping condemnation. 
 The simplicity of the style, the protestations of partiality 
 for his fellows, the affected disregard for an inevitable 
 conclusion, all serve to bring out with greater force the 
 underlying contempt and hate. In the records of misan- 
 thropy " Gulliver's Travels" stands for all time supreme 
 and unapproachable. 
 
 Swift came back to England for another visit in April, 
 1727. " Gulliver's Travels " had had an immediate and 
 unprecedented success, and he was received by the wits 
 with raptures of delight. He made arrangements for a 
 tour in France; the great Voltaire, whom he now first met, 
 giving him a letter of introduction to M. de Morville, the 
 French secretary of state. On June 10, 1727, the death 
 of George I. filled the Tories with a hope that their 
 exclusion from power was now at an end. But it was 
 not to be. The new king, George II., had shown Tory 
 leanings while Prince of Wales solely and simply to 
 annoy his father. Now that he was on the throne he 
 saw no reason for discarding the Whigs. From personal 
 dislike to Walpole he made a sort of attempt to push 
 forward Sir Spencer Compton, speaker of the House of 
 Commons and treasurer of the new monarch's household, 
 when the latter was Prince of Wales. But Compton was 
 devoid of energy. Walpole promptly won back the royal 
 favour by offering to add £130,000 a }ear to the civil 
 list, and to give Queen Caroline a jointure of £100,000 
 a year more ; and the great Whig minister remained 
 in office, thanking his God that he had a country to 
 sell. 
 
 The events connected with the accession of George II. 
 had put a stop to Swift's projected journey to France. 
 By the time that the political excitement had subsided, 
 
" Gulliver s Travels ^ 249 
 
 his health had again become so bad that an extended 
 voyage was out of the question. There had come upon 
 him a great weariness. His friends crowded round with 
 proposals, literary and political ; but they interested him 
 not, Stella, after a slight improvement, had suffered 
 a relapse, and Swift now expected news of her death by 
 every post. " I have just received yours of August 24th," 
 he writes to Sheridan, on September 2nd. " I kept it 
 an hour in my pocket with all the suspense of a man who 
 expected to hear tl;e worst news that fortune could give 
 him ; and at the same time was not able to hold up my 
 head. These are the perquisites of living long ; the last 
 act of life is always a tragedy at best ; but it is a bitter 
 aggravation to have one's best friend go before one. . . . 
 I do profess, upon my salvation, that the distressed and 
 desperate condition of our friend makes life so indifferent 
 to me, who by course of nature have so little left, that I 
 do not think it worth the time to struggle ; yet I should 
 think, according to what hath been formerly, that I may 
 happen to overcome this present disorder ; and to what 
 advantage ? Why, to see the loss of that person for 
 whose sake only life was worth preserving." Swift's 
 uneasiness alarmed his friends. But he resented their 
 sympathy. Fearful to the last of Stella's reputation, he 
 wrote to his friend Worrall pointing out that scandal 
 would arise if her decease took place at the deanery. 
 If she were well enough therefore let her be removed to 
 her own lodgings. From his letters it would seem that 
 he could not trust himself to be present at her death- 
 bed. But the increase of his own attacks of giddiness 
 and deafness soon grew so severe as to render further 
 stay with his friends out of the question. 
 
 In Dublin at least he would feel at home. In the 
 middle of September he left London for Holyhead. He 
 
250 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 had to wait a week before the packet sailed, and occupied 
 his time in jotting down his impressions on the incon- 
 veniences of country inns, and the miseries of Ireland, 
 in a curious little notebook still preserved at South 
 Kensington Museum. At length, early in October, he 
 was able to start for Ireland. He was never to visit 
 his English friends again. 
 
 He spent a gloomy autumn in Dublin. Esther Johnson, 
 though cruelly tortured by asthma, lingered till, on the 
 January 28th following, she " closed her weary pilgrim- 
 age." We will conclude with an extract from Swift's 
 account of his dear friend's character and virtues. 
 
 " This day, being Sunday, January 28, 1728, about 
 eight o'clock at night, a servant brought me a note with 
 an account of the death of the truest, most virtuous, and 
 valuable friend that I, or perhaps any other person, was 
 ever blessed with. . . . 
 
 " Never was any of her sex born with better gifts of the 
 mind, or who more improved them by reading and conver- 
 sation. Yet her memory was not of the best, and was 
 impaired in the latter years of her life. But I cannot call 
 to mind that I ever once heard her make a wrong judg- 
 ment of persons, books or affairs. Her advice was always 
 the best, and with the greatest freedom, mixed with the 
 greatest decency. She had a gracefulness, something 
 more than human, in every motion, word, and action. 
 Never was so happy a conjunction of civility, freedom, 
 easiness and sincerity. ... A rude or conceited coxcomb 
 passed his time very ill, upon the least breach of respect ; 
 for, in such a case, she had no mercy, but was sure to 
 expose him to the contempt of the standers-by, yet in 
 such a manner as he was ashamed to complain, and durst 
 not resent. All of us who had the happiness of her 
 friendship agreed unanimously, that, in an afternoon or 
 

''Gullivers Travels.'^ 251 
 
 evening's conversation, she never failed before we parted 
 of delivering the best thing that was said in the com- 
 pany. . . . 
 
 " Her servants loved and almost adored her at the 
 same time ; she would, upon occasions, treat them with 
 freedom ; yet her demeanour was so awful, that they 
 durst not fail in the least point of respect. She chid 
 them seldom, but it was with severity which had an effect 
 upon them for a long time after. 
 
 January 29th. — " My head aches, and I can write no 
 more. 
 
 January 30th, Tuesday. — " This is the night of the 
 funeral, ^ which my sickness will not suffer me to attend. 
 It is now nine at night, and I am removed into another 
 apartment, that I may not see the light in the church, 
 which is just over against the window of my bed- 
 chamber. . . . 
 
 " She was never known to cry out, or discover any fear, 
 in a coach or on horseback, or any uneasiness by those 
 sudden accidents with which most of her sex, either by 
 weakness or affectation, appear so much disordered. 
 
 "She never had the least absence of mind in conversa- 
 tion, or was given to interruption, or appeared eager to 
 put in her word, by waiting impatiently until another 
 had done. She spoke in a most agreeable voice, in the 
 plainest words, never hesitating, except out of modesty 
 before new faces, where she was somewhat reserved ; nor, 
 among her nearest friends, ever spoke much at a time. 
 She was but little versed in the common topics of female 
 chat : scandal, censure, and detraction never came out of 
 her mouth ; yet, among a few friends, in private conver- 
 sation, she made little ceremony in discovering her con- 
 
 ■ In the upper and middle classes funerals at this time always took 
 place at night. 
 
252 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 tempt of a coxcomb, and describing all his follies to the 
 life ; but the follies of her own sex she was rather inclined 
 to extenuate or to pity. 
 
 " Her charity to the poor was a duty not to be 
 diminished, and therefore became a tax upon those trades- 
 men who furnish the fopperies of other ladies. She 
 bought clothes as seldom as possible, and those as 
 plain and cheap as consisted with the situation she was 
 in ; and wore no lace for many years. Either her judg- 
 ment or fortune was extraordinary in the choice of those 
 on whom she bestowed her charity, for it went further 
 in doing good than double the sum from any other hand. 
 And I have heard her say, ' she always met with grati- 
 tude from the poor,' which must be owing to her skill in 
 distinguishing proper objects, as well as her gracious 
 manner in relieving them. . . . 
 
 " By returning very few visits, she had not much com- 
 pany of her own sex, except those whom she most loved 
 for their easiness, or esteemed for their good sense ; and 
 those, not insisting on ceremony, came often to her. But 
 she rather chose men for her companions, the usual 
 topics of ladies' discourse being such as she had little 
 knowledge of, and less rich. Yet no man was upon the 
 rack to entertain her, for she hastily descended to anything 
 that was innocent and diverting. News, politics, censure, 
 family management, or town talk, she always diverted 
 to something else ; but these indeed seldom happened, 
 for she chose her company better ; and therefore many, 
 who mistook her and themselves, having solicited her 
 acquaintance, and finding themselves disappointed, after 
 a few visits dropped off ; and she was never known to 
 inquire into the reason, nor ask what was become of 
 them. . . . 
 
 " When she was once convinced, by open facts, of any breach 
 
" Gulliver s Travels." 253 
 
 of truth or honour in a person of high station, especially in 
 the church, she could not conceal her indignation, nor hear 
 them named without showing her displeasure in her counte- 
 nance ; ^ particularly one or two of the latter sort, whom 
 she had known and esteemed, but detested above all 
 mankind, when it was manifest that they had sacrificed 
 those two precious virtues to their ambition, and would 
 much sooner have forgiven them the common immoralities 
 of the laity. . . . 
 
 " Although her knowledge from books and company 
 was much more extensive than usually falls to the share 
 of her sex, yet she was so far from making a parade of it, 
 that her female visitants, on their first acquaintance, who 
 expected to discover it by what they call hard words and 
 deep discourse, would be sometimes disappointed and say, 
 ' They found she was like other women.' But wise men, 
 through all her modesty, whatever they discoursed on, 
 could easily observe that she understood them very well, 
 by the judgment shown in her observations, as well as 
 in her questions." ^ 
 
 So died Esther Johnson in the forty-sixth year of her 
 age. In Swift's private life Stella and Vanessa occupy 
 a place curiously similar to that held by Oxford and 
 Bolingbroke in his public career. The brilliancy and 
 culture of the first of each pair pleased his imagination. 
 The honesty and plainness of the others won his heart. 
 For a parallel for Swift's affection for Stella there is no 
 bet.ter one than that of Hamlet for Ophelia. The Danish 
 
 ' The italics are my own. Would a person of this character have 
 consented to the eleven years of acted falsehood involved in a secret 
 marriage with Swift ? 
 
 ' From a paper of Swift entitled " On the death of Mrs. Johnson." 
 The reader will remember that at this time even unmarried ladies 
 were styled " Mrs." 
 
2 54 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 prince found in the simplicity and naturalness of the one 
 a relief from the corruption and hollowness of a depraved 
 court. Swift, in the straightforward character, and un- 
 assuming devotion of the other, obtained consolation for 
 the folly, perverseness and deceit which his " savage 
 indignation " led him to regard as the dominating 
 qualities of all mankind. 
 
CHAPTER IX. 
 
 SETTLED IN IRELAND. 
 
 Commencement of the last period of Swift's life — A Dublin potentate 
 — Lord Carteret his only Castle friend — Swift's manner of life — 
 His circle — Close intimacy with Dr. Thomas Sheridan— Trifles 
 passing between them — The art of punning — Occasional verses 
 — " Mary the Cookmaid's Letter to Dr. Sheridan " — Sheridan and 
 the vice-regal chaplaincy — Swift's harshness — Parsimony — His 
 views on woman — " Letter to a very young lady on her marriage " 
 — Public affairs — The government of Ireland — Swift's isolation — 
 The "Answer to The Craftsman" — The Intelligencer — The 
 famine of 1729 — " The Modest Proposal for preventing the Chil- 
 dren of Poor People in Ireland from being a Burden to their 
 Parents" — Significanceof this work — Growing alienation between 
 Swift and the Irish Parliament. 
 
 The year 1728 ushers in the last period of Swift's life. 
 The death of Stella had deprived him of his chief link 
 with early memories. Never again does he leave Ireland; 
 and the connection with his English friends grows fainter 
 year by year. There is nothing now to check the deepen- 
 ing bitterness and despondency which were eventually to 
 crush his genius in their icy grasp. 
 
 Yet these last years ai^e not without their brighter side. 
 Swift had always made the most of his position as dean 
 of St. Patrick's. But the immense reputation he acquired 
 through the Drapier's Letters turned him into the auto- 
 crat of Dublin as well. " Shall Jonathan die ? " cried an 
 
 2S5 
 
256 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 enthusiastic Quaker during the height of the agitation 
 against Wood's halfpence, " who has wrought this great 
 salvation in Israel ? God forbid : as the Lord liveth, 
 there shall not one hair of his head fall to the ground ; 
 for he hath wrought with God "this day." The text had 
 been taken up with delight ; and from that time Swift's 
 popularity was assured. His eccentric character, his 
 sardonic humour, his ready insight into their peculiarities 
 were thoroughly appreciated by the citizens of the Irish 
 capital. They gave him a tremendous welcome on his 
 return from England, and celebrated his birthday regu- 
 larly every year with public rejoicings. In 1729 the 
 Corporation presented him with the freedom of the city. 
 He was hated by the ruling faction, or English ascendency 
 party, as they were called. But Lord Carteret, though a 
 Whig in politics, was a personal friend of Swift's ; and 
 during that nobleman's viceroyalty (1724-1730) Swift 
 was a frequent guest at Dublin Castle. Carteret incurred 
 much obloquy from his intimacy with an opposition 
 partisan. To check this. Swift put forth an amusing 
 "Vindication of Lord Carteret," in which it was pointed 
 out that literary tastes and a predilection for learned 
 acquaintances, irrespective of the fact whether they were 
 Whig or Tory, need not necessarily place a man outside 
 the pale of humanity. 
 
 On the whole, 'Swift, after his settlement at St. Patrick's, 
 led a rather secluded life. He spent a great deal of time 
 in renewing his acquaintance with classical and historical 
 literature. He performed his ecclesiastical duties with 
 exemplary care ; and he carried on an extensive corre- 
 spondence with his English friends. All contemporary 
 writers speak in the highest terms of the Dublin society 
 of that time. The presence of a legislature consisting 
 mainly of wealthy and well-born men gave it a fulness 
 
Settled in Ireland. 257 
 
 and eclat which it has ceased to possess since the Act of 
 Union. HospitaHty was generous without display; public 
 entertainments were brilliant, refined, and at the same 
 time devoid of the formalism which marked the great 
 world of London. Swift, however, preferred to confine 
 himself to a small circle of chosen friends. Among 
 others, he speaks well of Dr. Helsham, " an ingenious 
 good-humoured physician, a fine gentleman, an excellent 
 scholar, easy in his fortunes, kind to everybody, has 
 abundance of friends, entertains them often and liberally." 
 He was intimate with several of the Fellows of Trinity 
 College, Dublin, notably the accomplished Dr. Patrick 
 Delany, whose biographical notice of Swift is a work of 
 great value. Swift's circle also comprised the Grattans, 
 a family of seven brothers, the sons of a wealthy clergy- 
 man, resident in Dublin. The latter, so Monck Mason 
 records on the authority of the old Bishop of Clogher, 
 " kept hospitality beyond both the lords who lived on 
 either side of him." One of the Grattan brothers, an 
 eminent merchant, became lord mayor of Dublin. The 
 others earned equal distinction in the liberal professions. 
 But Swift's favourite was the Lord of Quilca, Dr. Thomas 
 Sheridan. I The latter was always welcome at the 
 deanery. Alone among Swift's friends Sheridan had the 
 power, by a sudden jest, of diverting the dean from those 
 sudden fits of anger to which he became liable with 
 declining years. Swift and Sheridan delighted in writing 
 to one another in doggerel Latin, or more frequently in 
 Latin words written so as to sound like English. The 
 following is a brief example of the latter : 
 
 " Prsebe specus a Superaturus. Summas par a gusto 
 
 " His son wrote a Life of Swift. Richard Brinsley Sheridan was 
 his grandson. 
 
 18 
 
258 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 eat. Sum colli flo ures, ac ab age laetis fora Sal ad." 
 The interpretation of this is : "Pray bespeak us a supper at 
 your house. Some asparagus to eat. Some cauliflowers, a 
 cabbage, lettuce for a salad." 
 
 Both Swift and Sheridan were fond of punning. They 
 wrote to one another in letters composed of puns, and 
 united together to write a curious tract, "Ars Punica; 
 i.e. The Art of Punning," in a preface and thirty-seven 
 rules. Puns ai-e given to illustrate every rule : e.g. 
 
 " Rule I. The Capital Rule. He that puns must have a 
 head for it ; that is, he must be a man of letters, of a 
 sprightly and fine imagination, whatever men may think 
 of his judgment ; like Dr. Swift, who said, when a lady 
 threw down a Cremona fiddle with the frisk of her 
 mantua — ' Mantua, vse ! miserae nimium vicina Cre- 
 monae ! ' " 
 
 " Rule 12. The Elementary Rule. Keep to your elements, 
 whether you have fish, fowl, or flesh for dinner ; as, for 
 instance, ' Is not this fish ex-stream sweet ? On my sole, 
 I never tasted better.' " 
 
 " Rule 24. The Salic Rule is a pretence to a jumping 
 of wits : that is, when a man has made a good pun, the 
 other swears with a pun he was just coming out with 
 
 it. One night, I remember, Mr. served Dr. 
 
 so. The former, saying over a bottle, ' Will, I am for 
 my mistress here.' — 'How so?' says Tom. — 'Why, I 
 am for Wine-if-red ! ' — ' By this crooked stick ' (cane-a- 
 wry, i.e. Canary) ' I was coming out with it.' 
 
 " Rule 28. The Brazen-head Rule is when a punster stands 
 his ground against a whole company, though there is not 
 one to side with him, to the utter destruction of all con- 
 versation but his own ; e.g. says one, ' I hate a pun.' 
 Then he, ' When a pun is meant, is it a punishment ? ' — 
 ' Deuce take your quibbling ! ' — ' Sir, I will not bate 
 
Settled in Ireland. 259 
 
 you an ace, cinque me if I do.' — ' This fellow cannot talk 
 out of his element.' — ' To divert you was all I meant.' " 
 
 Swift and Sheridan wrote enough doggerel verses to 
 one another on subjects such as dinner parties and daily 
 accidents to fill a moderate-sized volume. 
 
 Swift, for instance, thus summarises his views on the 
 classical dramatists : 
 
 " Whate'er your predecessors taught us, 
 I have a great esteem for Plautus ; 
 And think your boys may gather there-hence 
 More wit and humour than from Terence ; 
 But as to comic Aristophanes, 
 The rogue too vicious and too profane is. 
 
 Proceed to tragics : first Euripides 
 
 (An autlior where I sometimes nip a-days) 
 
 Is rightly censured by the Stagirite, 
 
 Who says his numbers do not fadge aright. 
 
 A friend of mine that author despises 
 
 So mucli he swears the very best piece is, 
 
 For aught he knows, as bad as Thespis's ; 
 
 And that a woman in these tragedies. 
 
 Commonly speaking, but a sad jade is. 
 
 At least I'm well assured that no folk lays 
 
 The weight on him they do on Sophocles. 
 
 But, above all, I prefer .iEschylus, 
 
 Whose moving touches, when they please, kill us." 
 
 The following is a supposed letter from Swift's vener- 
 able cook, Mary, or " Sweetheart " as he always called 
 her, to Dr. Sheridan, who had called the dean a knave : 
 
 " Mary the Cookmaid's Letter to Doctor Sheridan." 
 
 " Well, if ever I saw such another man since my mother bound up my 
 
 head ! 
 You a gentleman ! Marry come up ! I wonder where you were 
 
 bred? 
 
26o Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 I'm sure such words does not become a man of your cloth ; 
 
 I would not give such language to a dog, faith and troth. 
 
 Yes, you call'd my master a knave ; fie, Mr. Sheridan ! 'tis a shame 
 
 For a parson, who should know better things, to come out with such 
 
 a name. 
 Knave in your teeth, Mr. Sheridan ! 'tis both a shame and a sin ; 
 And the dean, my master, is an honester man than you and all your 
 
 kin . 
 He has more goodness in his little finger than you have in your whole 
 
 body- 
 My master is a parsonable man, and not a spindle-shanked hoddy- 
 
 doddy. 
 And now, whereby I find you would fain make an excuse. 
 Because my master one day in anger call'd you a goose : 
 Which, and I am sure 1 have been his servant four years since 
 
 October, 
 And he never call'd me worse than sweetheart, drunk or sober : 
 Not that I know his reverence was ever concern'd to my knowledge, 
 Though you and your come-rogues keep him out so late in your 
 
 college." 
 
 The amount of care Swift devoted to trifles like the 
 foregoing was extraordinary. Lord Orrery blames him 
 for not spending his time better. A wiser critic will 
 recognise Swift's fondness for such childish distractions 
 as perfectly natural. The great Dean of St. Patrick's 
 could not be always railing at human folly in general, or 
 political malpractices in particular ; and his emotions 
 would have soon become unendurable, had they not been 
 able to find relief in less heart-killing occupations. 
 
 Sheridan was at once the kindliest and the most simple- 
 minded of men. Of the value of money he had no idea. 
 Though possessed of private property and a flourishing 
 school, a fondness for lavish hospitality kept him in con- 
 tinual difficulties. Swift, ever zealous about the private 
 affairs of his friends — a quality which must have been 
 singularly unpleasant at times, however excellent the 
 motive — made himself Sheridan's mentor. He took great 
 
Settled in Ireland. 261 
 
 interest in his school, advised him about the management 
 of his revenues, and obtained for him the post of chaplain 
 to the viceroy, Lord Carteret. But poor Sheridan, in 
 addition to being the most extravagant, was the most 
 absent-minded of men. On the ensuing August ist, the 
 anniversary of the accession to the throne of the house 
 of Hanover, he happened to be asked to preach at Cork. 
 In sublime ignorance of its obvious application he chose 
 as his text : " Sufficient to the day is the evil thereof." 
 The cry of "Jacobite ! " was promptly raised by the Castle 
 sycophants ; Sheridan's name was struck off the list of 
 viceregal chaplains, and his chances of promotion ruined. 
 Swift's habits of bullying and banter grew upon him 
 with years. Even Sheridan was often treated as a butt 
 rather than a companion. The latter's good-nature must 
 have been indeed extraordinary if he endured such gibes 
 as Swift's " Character of the Second Solomon." The 
 " Second Solomon " was Sheridan himself, and the 
 "character" is an elaborate list of all his private 
 failings, especially his carelessness in money matters. 
 Sheridan's wife was a slattern and a shrew; but was he 
 much amused at the following verses on her which Swift 
 composed and sent to him ? 
 
 " Come sit by my side, while this picture I draw. 
 In chattering a magpie, in pride a jackdaw, 
 A temper the devil himself could not bridle. 
 Impertinent mixture of busy and idle.'' 
 
 Swift paid frequent visits to friends' country houses, 
 where he must have been a most troublesome guest. 
 Wherever he went he exacted absolute submission to his 
 every caprice. At Sir Arthur Acheson's he cut down a 
 fine thorn-tree without deigning to ask his host's per- 
 mission. He inquired into people's most private concerns 
 
262 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 with the most insulting pertinacity. If a poor man enter- 
 tained him sumptuously he reproved him for his extrava- 
 gance. At the deanery his guests trembled before him. 
 Occasionally he was pleased by a smart repartee ; but in 
 general the slightest contradiction plunged him into an 
 ungovernable rage. And the time was fast coming when 
 his sole companions would be reduced to flatterers and 
 sycophants. Another habit which grew upon him was 
 avarice. Though the wine was good, the deanery dinners 
 were remarkable for their meagreness ; and, in haggling 
 over the details of a bill, Dr. Swift displayed a keenness 
 and determination which aroused the envy and despair of 
 all who entered into business relations with him. It 
 must, however, be remembered in his behalf that every 
 shilling saved from his personal expenses was either 
 devoted to immediate charity, or went to swell the fund 
 he intended to leave at his death as a bequest to the 
 public. To the poor of his parish he paid great attention. 
 He built an almshouse at his own expense ; he carried 
 out a system by which deserving beggars were dis- 
 tinguished by badges ; he assisted workmen or small 
 tradesmen in temporary distress with loans repayable in 
 weekly instalments. His private donations were very 
 large. He allowed Mrs. Dingley £52 a year ; he main- 
 tained his sister, who did not die till 1738 ; and destitute 
 persons of his own class, if properly recommended, 
 always obtained a recompense. Swift's charity, however, 
 was unsentimental to an excess ; and his donations were 
 accompanied with a contemptuous harshness which 
 must have made many a recipient regret his applica- 
 tion. 
 
 To women. Swift was ruder even than to men. To 
 the end of his days the great dean looked on those 
 delicacies and refinements, which are the special pre- 
 
Settled in Ireland. 263 
 
 rogative of the fair sex, as silly affectation. The 
 " drudge " theory of womanhood, very prevalent at that 
 time, inspired him with equal dislike. To Swift, the 
 perfect woman was a being who in intellectual attain- 
 ments, social theories, and business-like capability, was 
 identical with a well-educated and able man. His views 
 on this subject are summarised in a " Letter to a very 
 Young Lady on her Marriage," ' from which the following 
 is extracted. It is a pity that we do not possess the 
 answer. 
 
 " Madam, — The hurry and impertinence of receiving and 
 paying visits on account of your marriage being now over, 
 you are beginning to enter into a course of life where you 
 will want' much advice to divert you from falling into 
 many errors, fopperies, and follies to which your sex is 
 liable. . . . Your parents were so far in the right that 
 they did not produce you much into the world, whereby 
 you avoided many wrong steps which others have taken, 
 and have fewer ill impressions to be removed ; but they 
 failed, as is generally the case, in too much neglecting to 
 cultivate your mind; without which it is impossible to 
 acquire or preserve the friendship and esteem of a wise 
 man, who soon grows weary of acting the lover, but 
 wants a reasonable companion, and a true friend through 
 every stage of life. It must be therefore your business 
 to qualify yourself for those offices ; wherein I shall 
 not fail to be your director as long as I shall think 
 you deserve it, by letting you know how you are to 
 act and what you are to avoid." Swift then starts off 
 with a piece of advice, which at the present day ought 
 to be inscribed on the walls of many a married house- 
 
 ' Supposed to have been written on the marriage of Lady Betty 
 Moore, daughter of the Earl of Drogheda, to Mr. George Rochfort. 
 
264 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 hold. Beware, says he, of that most odious of all 
 practices, the expression of fondness for your husband, 
 by endearing words or pet caresses, when there is a third 
 party present. In the same way the lady should not 
 affect an unreasonable uneasiness when her husband is 
 away ; starting at every knock at the door, and running 
 to see if it is her husband come back. Nor should she 
 " receive him at his return with such a medley of chiding 
 and kindness, and catechizing him where he has been, 
 that a shrew from Billingsgate would be a more easy and 
 eligible companion." Equally reprehensible are those 
 wives "who, when their husband is gone on a journey, 
 must have a letter every post, upon pain of fit or 
 hysterics." 
 
 As to society. Swift starts with the dictum that he 
 " never yet knew a tolerable woman to be fond of her own 
 sex." If his correspondent wishes for lady companions, 
 let her have as few as possible — " half-a-dozen fools are, 
 in all conscience, as many as you should require ; " 
 and let her make it a fixed rule " to proceed in her practice 
 and behaviour directly contrary to whatever they shall say 
 or do." In the same way she must beware of men com- 
 panions whose sole recommendation is their fitness for 
 frivolous society ; and she must never amuse herself with 
 the stories her maid tells her about other houses in which 
 she has been in service. 
 
 Swift then proceeds with his positive recommendations 
 as follows : 
 
 " You have but a very few years to be young and hand- 
 some in the eyes of the world, and as few months to be 
 so in the eyes of a husband who is not a fool ; for I hope 
 you do not still dream of charms and raptures, which 
 marriage ever did and ever will put a sudden end to. 
 Besides, yours was a match of prudence and common 
 
Settled in Ireland. 265 
 
 good liking, without any mixture of ridiculous passion 
 which has no being but in play-books and romances. 
 You must therefore use all endeavours to attain to some 
 degree of those accomplishments which your husband 
 most values in other people, and for which he is most 
 valued himself. You must improve your mind by closely 
 pursuing such a method of study as I shall direct or 
 approve of. You must get a collection of history and 
 travels, which I will recommend to you, and spend some 
 hours every day in reading them, and making extracts 
 from them if your memory be weak. . . . 
 
 " If you are in company with men of learning, though 
 they happen to discourse of arts and sciences out of your 
 compass, yet you will gather more advantage by listening 
 to them than from all the nonsense and frippery of your 
 own sex, and if they be men of breeding as well as 
 learning they will seldom engage in any conversation 
 where you ought not to be a hearer, and in time have 
 their part. If they talk of the manners and customs of 
 the several kingdoms of Europe, of travels into remoter 
 nations of the state of your own country, or of the great 
 men and actions of ancient Greece and Rome ; if they 
 give their judgment upon English and French writers 
 either in verse or prose, or of the nature and limits ot 
 virtue and vice ; it is a shame for an English lady not to 
 relish such discourses, not to improve by them, and 
 endeavour by reading and information to have her share 
 in those entertainments, rather than turn aside, as it is 
 the usual custom, and consult with the woman who sits 
 next her about a new cargo of fans." Here Swift takes 
 opportunity to blame the English custom by which at the 
 close of dinner the ladies leave the gentlemen to their 
 wine. He never allowed it at the deanery. Besides the 
 above. Swift gives many sound warnings against taking 
 
266 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 too much interest in the fashions in dress, against ex- 
 travagance, and, lastly, in case she becomes intellectual, 
 against vanity. The sound course of instruction he 
 intends to make her undergo will, however, obviate any 
 possibility of the latter. 
 
 In conclusion, Swift draws, as an example of the neglect 
 of his advice, the miseries of the ordinary lady of fashion, 
 when old age comes upon her, then as now the saddest 
 figure in social life. " Pray observe how insignificant 
 things are the common race of ladies when they have 
 passed youth and beaut}', how contemptible they appear to 
 the men, and yet more contemptible to the younger part 
 of their own sex ; and have no relief, but in passing their 
 afternoons in visits, where they are never acceptable, and 
 their evenings at cards among each other, while the former 
 part of the day is spent in spleen and envy, or in vain 
 endeavours to repair by art and dress the ruins of time. 
 Whereas I have known ladies at sixty, to whom all the 
 polite part of the court and town paid their addresses 
 without any further view than that of enjoying the 
 pleasure of their conversation." 
 
 Swift still took a deep interest in the state of Ireland. 
 The English Government had been greatly alarmed at 
 their defeat on the question of Wood's halfpence, and 
 every effort was now taken to prevent the repetition of 
 such a disaster. The administration was left mainly in 
 the hands of Dr. Boulter, who, as Archbishop of Armagh, 
 and so-called Primate of All Ireland, was one of the lord- 
 justices, or governors, of the country during the lord- 
 lieutenant's absence. The latter, however, besides being 
 in England more than half his time, was regarded as little 
 more than a figure-head. Boulter, as the trusted agent of 
 the English Government, enjoyed supreme power. He 
 carried out his task to the letter. Public offices were 
 
Settled in Ireland. 267 
 
 filled by Englishmen. The resident Irish gentry were 
 discouraged and depressed. Any movement of reform 
 was checked by a vigilant system of bribery and division. 
 Out of a House of Commons numbering three hundred, 
 the party of reform could rarely reckon on more than 
 twenty-eight votes. The odds were too great, and for 
 more than forty years following the affair of Wood's half- 
 pence, the English ascendency held its own untouched. 
 In such a state of things Swift could do little. Had it 
 been otherwise, it is doubtful whether he could have co- 
 operated heartily with the Irish reformers. Their aims, 
 at this time, extended not beyond the acquisition of certain 
 privileges for the Protestant minority. From one point 
 of view they were wise in their generation. Where par- 
 liamentary institutions exist, reform can only proceed by 
 slow stages. But, as Swift's misanthropy and bitterness 
 increased, the one object which began to stand out before 
 him with burning distinctness was the frightful misery of 
 the Irish lower classes. His soul scoffed at interminable 
 discussions about the political rights of dependent legis- 
 latures, while the people were starving for want of bread. 
 Parliamentary freedom might be won ; but unless a radical 
 change took place in the relation of the landowner to his 
 serfs, where was the benefit ? ^ As the ways grew darker, 
 
 ' Compare for this the following extract from the seventh " Drapier's 
 Letter,";'commenced in 1726 (?), but only published in 1735. "And I 
 shall never forget what I once ventured to say to a great man in 
 England, ' That few poHticians, with all their schemes, are half so 
 useful members of a commonwealth as an honest farmer, who, by 
 skilfully draining, fencing, manuring, and planting, has increased the 
 intrinsic value of a piece of land, and thereby done a perpetual sei:- 
 vice to his country ; ' which it is a great controversy whether any ot 
 the former ever did since the creation of the world, but no contro- 
 versy at all that ninety-nine in a hundred have done abundance ot 
 mischief" There is a curious similarity between this passage and 
 the remarks of the King of Brobdingnag on the uselessness of poli- 
 cian 
 
268 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 the social question gradually absorbed Swift's attention 
 to the exclusion of all other topics. Nor is his mind 
 fixed on Irish misery save as it is a fraction of the uni- 
 versal sum of human misery. The Swift of the Irish 
 tracts of 1729 and 1730 is the Swift, not of the " Drapier's 
 Letters," but of " Gulliver's Travels." To treat them as 
 political pronouncements is an error. They are outbursts 
 of frantic indignation at an evil which the writer knows is 
 too gross for remedy. It is not the English Government, 
 it is not the Irish administration Swift attacks, but 
 the folly, perversity, and intestine hatreds of mankind 
 itself.i 
 
 Among other measures for the better government of 
 Ireland, it had recently occurred to the Whig ministry 
 that it would be an excellent plan to facilitate the expa- 
 triation of the more vigorous Catholic inhabitants of that 
 country. An Irish brigade had been long maintained in 
 France. Leave was therefore given to the French 
 Government to send a recruiting officer to Ireland to 
 enlist young Irish Catholics for the French service. The 
 Tory opposition soon obtained knowledge of the scheme, 
 and on Dec. 12, 1730, a denunciation thereof appeared in 
 their journal. The Craftsman. The article laid stress on 
 the infamy of depopulating a portion of one's own 
 country, and pointed out the folly of deliberately increasing 
 the army of a vigilant enemy, by the accession of men 
 animated by a bitter detestation of England's constitution 
 and religion. The whole affair struck Swift as so charac- 
 teristic of English methods that he seized on it with 
 avidity. In a so-called " Answer to the Craftsman,'' he 
 
 ' In 1729 Lord Allen had publicly denounced the Dublin Corpora- 
 tion for giving the freedom to a Tory like Swift. The latter retahated 
 by an extraordinary attack, a poem styled " Traulus," the insensate 
 fury of which well illustrates the tension of his mind at this time. 
 
Settled in Ireland. 269 
 
 published a bitterly ironical defence of the scheme. He 
 declared that so far from being harmful, it was for the 
 direct benefit of Ireland. He had already pointed out in 
 his " Maxims controlled in Ireland," 1724, that ordinary 
 principles of prosperity, e.g., a growing population, did not 
 apply to that country. He now proceeded to show that 
 The Craftsman was in error when it attacked the recruiting 
 scheme. Such action on their part was " a manifest 
 mark of their disaffection to his majesty, a want of duty 
 to the ministry, a wicked design of oppressing this king- 
 dom, and a traitorous attempt to lessen the trade and 
 manufactures of England." In the assumed strain of a 
 member of the English ascendency, he proceeds as 
 follows: "Our truest and best ally, the most Christian 
 king,^ has obtained his majesty's licence, pursuant to law, 
 to export from hence some thousand bodies of healthy, 
 young, living men, to supply his Irish regiments. The 
 King of Spain, as you assert yourself, has desired the 
 same civility, and seems to have at least as good a claim. 
 Supposing then that these two potentates will only desire 
 leave to cany off 6,000 men between them to France and 
 Spain, then by computing the maintenance of a tall, 
 hungry Irishman in food and clothes to be only £5 per 
 head, here will be £30,000 per annum saved clearly to 
 the nation ; for they can find no other employment at 
 home besides begging, robbing, or stealing. But if 
 30,000, 40,000, or 50,000 (which we would gladly spare), 
 were sent on the same errand, what an immense benefit 
 it must be to us ; and if the two princes, in whose service 
 they were, should happen to be at war with each other, 
 how soon would those recruits be destroyed ! then what a 
 number of friends would the Pretender lose, and what a 
 
 ' Diplomatic title for the King of France. The King of Spain is 
 always styled " His Catholic Majesty.' 
 
270 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 number of enemies all true Protestants get rid of 1 Add 
 to this that then, by such a practice, the lands of Ireland 
 that want hands for tillage must be employed in grazing, 
 which would sink the price of wool, raw hides, butter and 
 tallow, so that the English might have them at their 
 own rates, and in return send us wheat to make our 
 bread, barley to brew our drink, and oats for our horses, 
 without any labour of our own." So far from condemning 
 the proposal of the English Government, Swift ironically 
 caps it by the following : 
 
 " The profitable land of this kingdom is, I think, usually 
 computed at 17,000,000 acres, all of which I propose to 
 be wholly turned to grazing. Now it is found by ex- 
 perience that one grazier and his family can manage 2,000 
 acres. Thus 16,800,000 acres may be managed by 8,400 
 families ; and the fraction of 200,000 acres will be more 
 than sufficient for cabins, outhouses, and potato-gardens ; 
 because it is to be understood that corn of all sorts must 
 be sent to us from England. These 8,400 families may 
 be divided among the four provinces, according to the 
 number of houses in each province ; and making the equal 
 allowance of eight to a family, the number of inhabitants 
 will amount to 67,200 souls. To these we are to add a 
 standing army of 20,000 English which, with their camp- 
 followers and horse-boys, will by a gross computation, 
 very near double the count, and be very sufficient for the 
 defence and grazing of the kingdom, as well as to enrich 
 our neighbours, expel popery and keep out the Pretender. 
 And, lest the army should be at a loss for business, I think 
 it would be very prudent to employ them in collecting 
 the public taxes for paying themselves and the civil 
 list. 
 
 " I advise that all our owners of these lands should live 
 constantly in England, in order to learn politeness and to 
 
Settled in Ireland. 271 
 
 qualify themselves for employments ; but, for fear of in- 
 creasing the natives in this island, that an annual draught 
 according to the number born every year, be exported to 
 whatever place will bear the carriage, or transplanted to 
 the English dominions on the American continent, as a 
 screen between his Majesty's English subjects and the 
 savage Indians." 
 
 The following is interesting as giving a real description 
 of Irish poverty at this time. It is from a paper called 
 the Intelligencer, carried on for a short time by Swift and 
 his friend Sheridan. The date is 1730 : 
 
 " I have been at the pains to render a most exact and 
 faithful account of all the visible signs of riches which I 
 met with in sixty miles, riding (from Dublin to Dundalk) 
 through the most public roads, and the best part of the 
 kingdom. First, as to trade ; I met nine cars loaden with 
 old musty, shrivelled hides ; one car-load of butter ; four 
 jockeys driving eight horses, all out of case; one cow and 
 calf driven by a man and his wife ; six tattered families 
 flitting to be shipped off to the West Indies ; a colony of 
 one hundred and fifty beggars, all repairing to people our 
 metropolis. . . . Secondly, travellers enough, but seven 
 in ten wanting shirts and cravats ; nine in ten going bare- 
 foot, and carrying their brogues (shoes) and stockings in 
 their hands ; one woman in twenty having a pillion, the 
 rest riding bare-backed ; above two hundred horsemen 
 with four pairs of boots among them all, seventeen saddles 
 of leather (the rest being made of straw), and most of 
 their garrons only shod before. I went into one of the 
 principal farmer's houses out of curiosity, and his whole 
 furniture consisted of two blocks for stools, a bench on 
 each side the fire-place made of turf, six trenchers, one 
 bowl, a pot, six horn spoons, three noggins, two blankets, 
 one of which served the man and maid-servant ; the other 
 
272 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 the master of the family, his wife and five children ; a 
 small churn, a wooden candlestick, and broken stick for 
 a pair of tongs. In the public towns, one-third of the 
 inhabitants walking the street bare-foot ; windows half 
 built up with stone to save the expense of glass ; the 
 broken pane up and down supplied by brown paper, few 
 being able to afford white ; in some places they were 
 stopped with hay or straw. Another mark of our riches 
 are the signs at the several inns upon the road, viz., in 
 some a staff stuck in the thatch with a turf at the end of 
 it ; a staff in a dunghill, with a white rag wrapped about 
 the head ; a pole, where they can afford it, with a besom 
 at the top ; an oatmeal cake on a board in a window ; and 
 at the principal signs of the road I have observed the 
 signs taken down and laid against the wall near the door, 
 being taken from their post to prevent the shaking of the 
 house down by the wind. In short, I saw not one single 
 house, in the best town I travelled through, which had 
 not manifest appearances of beggary and want." 
 
 Merciless exactions, coupled with three successive bad 
 harvests, had by the year 1729 produced a frightful famine 
 in Ireland. The people died of starvation in thousands. 
 Even Boulter was aghast. To Swift the calamity seemed 
 the very consummation of that mingled mass of iniquity 
 and woe, against which he had for so long been vainly cry- 
 ing. Denunciation was useless. Tears would be common- 
 place. He poured out his rage at the horrors he saw 
 round him in a satire which, by universal assent, is the 
 most terrible piece in all his writings. It is entitled : " A 
 Modest Proposal for preventing the children of poor 
 people in Ireland from being a burden to their parents 
 or country, and for making them beneficial to the 
 public." I 
 
 ' This tract is dated 1729, a year earlier than the two preceding. 
 
Settled in Ireland. 273 
 
 Swift begins by a reference to the crowd of starving 
 children by whom the Irish beggars are always sur- 
 rounded. For these children, of whom Swift computes, 
 about 120,000 are born every year, no work can possibly 
 be found. Nothing, therefore, is left for them but 
 mendicancy or vice. Something must be done ; where- 
 upon Swift offers the following humble proposal which he 
 trusts " will not be liable to the least objection " : 
 
 " I have been assured by a very knowing American of 
 my acquaintance in London, that a young, healthy child 
 well nursed is at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, 
 and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or 
 boiled ; and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in 
 a fricassee or a ragout. I do therefore humbly offer it to 
 public consideration that out of the 120,000 children 
 mentioned . . . 100,000 may, at a year old, be offered in 
 sale to the persons of quality and fortune through the 
 kingdom. A child will make two dishes at an entertain- 
 ment for friends ; and when the family dines alone, the 
 fore or hind quarters will make a reasonable dish, and 
 seasoned with a little pepper or salt will be very good 
 boiled on the fourth day, especially in winter. 
 
 " I have reckoned upon a medium that a child well 
 born will weigh twelve pounds, and in a solar year, if 
 tolerably nursed will increase to twenty-eight pounds. 
 
 " I grant this food will be somewhat dear, and there- 
 fore very proper for landlords, who, as they have already 
 devoured most of the parents, seem to have the best title 
 to the children. . . . 
 
 " I have computed the charge of nursing a beggar's 
 child (in which list I reckon all cottagers, labourers, and 
 four-fifths of the farmers) to be about 2s. per annum, rags 
 included ; and I believe no gentleman would repine to give 
 los. for the carcase of a good fat child, which, as I have 
 
 19 
 
2 74 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 said, will make four dishes of excellent and nutritive meat, 
 when he has only some particular friend or his own family 
 to dine with him. Thus the squire will learn to be a good 
 landlord and grow popular among his tenants ; the mother 
 will have 8s. net profit. 
 
 " Those who are more thrifty (as I confess the times re- 
 quire) may flay the carcase ; the skin of which artificially 
 well dressed will make admirable gloves for ladies, and 
 summer boots for fine gentlemen. 
 
 " As to our city of Dublin, shambles may be appointed 
 for this purpose in the most convenient parts of it, and 
 butchers, we may be assured, will not be wanting; 
 although I rather recommend buying the children alive 
 than dressing them hot from the knife as we do roasting 
 pigs." 
 
 Swift then mentions a suggestion of his friend, that 
 young lads and maidens between twelve and fourteen 
 years of age would be an excellent substitute for venison. 
 With this, however, he disagrees. 
 
 He refers to an objection to the scheme. It will get rid 
 of the useless infants. But what of the crowds of old 
 people and of young labourers ? Regarding these he says 
 no trouble need be taken. The former, he points out, are 
 every day " dying and rotting by cold and famine, and 
 filth and vermin, as fast as can be reasonably expected." 
 And as to the young labourers ; " they cannot get work, 
 and consequently pine away for want of nourishment to a 
 degree, that if at any time they are accidentally hired to 
 common labour, they have not strength to perform it ; and 
 thus the country and themselves are happily delivered 
 from the evils to come." 
 
 Swift concludes by mentioning a few additional advan- 
 tages of his plan, as for example : 
 
 I. It will lessen the number of papists. 
 
Settled in Ireland. 275 
 
 2. " The poorer tenants will have something valuable 
 of their own, which by law may be made liable to distress, 
 and help to pay their landlord's rent ; their corn and 
 cattle being already seized, and money a thing unknown." 
 
 3. Granted that the maintenance of 100,000 infants 
 may be put at los. each per annum, the result of the 
 scheme will be to increase the nation's stock by ^^50,000. 
 
 This scheme, he points out for the benefit of the 
 ascendency, can in nowise disoblige England : " for this 
 kind of commodity will not bear exportation, the flesh 
 being of too tender a consistency to admit a long continu- 
 ance in salt." 
 
 Lastly comes a personal explanation. Swift points out 
 that he himself" has no children by which he can propose 
 to get a single penny." His proposal is therefore entirely 
 disinterested. 
 
 A French critic ^ has well remarked of the " Modest 
 Proposal," that there is nothing like it in all literature. 
 It indicates the utter isolation of Swift from his con- 
 temporaries. It marks the supreme point of that savage 
 indignation which, in his own words, ceased not to 
 lacerate his heart. It is indeed matter of doubt 
 whether Swift, after the conclusion of the " Drapier's 
 Letters," anticipated undertaking the leadership of an 
 Irish parliamentary party. The conciliation and wari- 
 ness needed for such a task had by that date become an 
 impossibility. It would be too much to say that he dis- 
 believed in the efficacy of any parliament to cure the 
 wrongs under which Ireland laboured ; and that he 
 would have preferred to see the settlement of the Irish 
 question carried out by some enlightened despot, a 
 Frederick the Great, or a Joseph II. From the year 
 
 ' M. Taine. 
 
^7^ Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 1730, however, the gulf between Swift and the parliamen- 
 tarians of College Green rapidly widens. It is a strange 
 comment on the inconsistency of human nature, that, as 
 the last chapter of this work will show, the final separa- 
 tion should have been brought about by Swift's insistence 
 on the privileges of the Anglican Church. 
 
CHAPTER X. 
 
 LETTERS TO ENGLAND. 1727-1735. 
 
 Apparent decline in the art of letter-writing^=Reasons — Artificial 
 character of most eighteenth-century letters— Genuineness of • 
 Swift's letters — Their value — He refuses to revisit England — Ex- 
 tracts from his letters — His melancholy — Attempts to escape- 
 from it — English politics at this time — Depression of the Tories — 
 Energy and success of Swift's literary friends — Gay: the "Beggars 
 Opera " — Swift's letters to Gay and the Duchess of Queensberry — 
 Pope : " The Dunciad " — Swift's admiration for Pope— His friend- 
 ship for Pope and Bolingbroke — The latter's philosophic moral- 
 isings — Death of Congreve — Of Gay — Swift's great grief — Death 
 of Arbuthnot — Swift's despondency — Gloomy view of England — 
 Hatred for Ireland. 
 
 Many complaints are uttered nowadays over the decline 
 that has taken place in the art of letter-writing. Like 
 most sweeping statements the charge is hardly fair ; it 
 being usually based on a comparison between the letters 
 of private individuals of the present time and those of 
 literary giants of the past. The amount of eighteenth- 
 century correspondence possessing a high artistic value 
 is, however, extraordinarily great in proportion to the 
 general literature of the time. The reason lies not in 
 the large amount of leisure enjoyed by the society of that 
 day, or in the great difficulties that then stood in the way 
 
 of Qommiinication, The usual type of eighteenth-century 
 
 277 
 
278 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 letter is not, in the modern sense, a letter at all. Owing 
 to the worthlessness of contemporary newspapers, a letter 
 written by a prominent man of that day contained a vast 
 amount of political or social intelligence, mere reference 
 to which would now be superfluous. Letters, moreover, 
 were constantly written with a view to future publication; 
 which gave them the character of chapters in an intended 
 autobiography. Even when neither of the above condi- 
 tions was present, letters were often intended for a large 
 circle of friends. It was thus necessary that they should 
 have some pretension's to lucidity and grace of style. 
 Most of the letters published in the voluminous correspon- 
 dence between Swift and his English friends possess the 
 above characteristics. Swift's own letters, however, have 
 the true genuine ring. In so far as he came under the 
 spirit of the age, and found himself in correspondence 
 with men who would have shuddered at incorrect syntax 
 or bad logic, they are careful compositions. But he was 
 an exceedingly quick writer ; and, as most of his letters 
 are addressed to friends of tried fidelity, they afford us a 
 real insight into the man and his being. They describe 
 his manner of life ; they show how the solitary chafed 
 against exile without being able to summon up strength 
 to quit it ; and they enable us to trace his gradual decline, 
 from attempted resignation, into a bitterness which no 
 philosophy could soothe. 
 
 During the whole period of his latter residence in Ire- 
 land, Swift received constant invitations from Pope, 
 Bolingbroke, the Earl of Oxford, Lady Masham, and 
 numerous other friends. He refused them all, partly from 
 a sense of his growing infirmities, pity for which he 
 always resented ; partly because he loved the society of 
 his English friends so strongly, that a subsequent return 
 from them to Ireland would have been rnore than he could 
 
Letters to England. 279 
 
 bear. I Pope's health was more delicate even than that 
 of Swift, or it is probable he would have gone to visit 
 Swift at Dublin. A plan was also set on foot by Boling- 
 broke, by which Swift was to change his deanery for the 
 living of Burfield in Berkshire. But there were impossible 
 obstacles in the way, and Swift would never have endured 
 the loss of dignity thereby required. ^ 
 
 The ensuing five extracts will give some idea of Swift's 
 melancholy and isolation during the years that succeeded 
 Stella's death. 
 
 " I do sincerely assure you," he writes to Pope, on 
 March 6, 1729, " that my frequent old disorder, and the 
 scene where I am, and the humour I am in, and some 
 other reasons which time has shown, and will show more 
 if I live, have lowered my small talents with a vengeance, 
 and cooled my disposition to put them to use. I want 
 only to be rich, for I am hard to be pleased ; and, for 
 want of riches, people grow every day less solicitous to 
 please me. Therefore I keep humble company, who are 
 happy to come where they can get a bottle of wine with- 
 out paying for it. I give my vicar a supper, and his wife 
 a shilling, to play with me an hour at backgammon once 
 a fortnight. To all people of quality, and especially of 
 titles, I am not within ; or at least am deaf a week or 
 two after I am well. But on Sunday evening it costs 
 me six bottles of wine to people whom I cannot keep 
 out." 
 
 In a letter written a little before this time to an Irish 
 lady,3 Swift had stated his theory of old age. " God in 
 
 ■ Compare for this, a letter to Pope, dated November 17, 1726. 
 " Going to England is a very good thing, if it were not attended with 
 an ugly circumstance of returning to Ireland." 
 
 = See a letter from Bolingbroke to Swift, dated July 18, 1732. 
 
 3 Swift to Mrs. Moore, Dec. 27, 1727. 
 
28o Dean Swift ana his Writings. 
 
 His wisdom hath been pleased to load our declining years 
 with many sufferings, with diseases and decays of nature ; 
 with the death of many friends, and the ingratitude of 
 more ; sometimes with the loss or diminution of our 
 fortunes, when our infirmities most need them ; often 
 with contempt from the world, and always with neglect 
 from it ; with the death of our most hopeful or useful 
 children ; with a want of relish for all worldly enjoyments ; 
 with a general dislike of persons and things ; and though 
 all these are very natural effects of increasing years, yet 
 they were intended by the author of our being to wean us 
 gradually from our fondness of life, the nearer we approach 
 toward the end of it." In his practice, however, Swift 
 was far from submitting without a murmur. " I find 
 myself disposed every year, or rather every month," he 
 writes to Bolingbroke, on March 21, 1729, "to be more 
 angry and revengeful ; and my rage is so ignoble, that it 
 descends even to resent the folly and baseness of the 
 enslaved people among whom I live. I knew an old lord 
 in Leicestershire who amused himself with mending 
 pitchforks and spades for his tenants gratis. Yet I have 
 higher ideas left, if I were nearer to objects on which I 
 might employ them ; and contemning my private fortune, 
 would gladly cross the channel and stand by while my 
 betters were driving the boars out of the garden, if there 
 be any probable expectation of such an endeavour." Still, 
 he struggles against his discontent. " When I was your 
 age," he goes on, " I often thought of death, but now, 
 after a dozen years more, it is never out of my mind, and 
 terrifies me less. I conclude that Providence has ordered 
 our fears to decrease with our spirits, and yet I love la 
 bagatelle better than ever ; for finding it troublesome to 
 read at night, and the company here growing tasteless, I 
 am always writing bad prose or worse verses, either of 
 
Letters to England. 281 
 
 rage or raillery whereof some few escape to give offence 
 or mirth, and the rest are burnt.'' 
 
 Occasionally Swift sought for relief, not in la bagatelle — 
 trifling, but in his character of Dublin potentate. On 
 July 8, 1733, he writes to Pope : " I am one of the 
 governors of all the hackney coaches, carts, and carriages, 
 round this town, who dare not insult me like your rascally 
 waggoners or coachmen, but give me the way; nor is 
 there one lord or squire for a hundred of yours to turn me 
 out of the road, or run over me with -their coaches and 
 six. Thus I make some advantage of the public poverty, 
 and give you the reasons for what I once wrote, why I 
 choose to be a freeman among slaves rather than a slave 
 among freemen. Then I walk the streets in peace with- 
 out being jostled, nor even without a thousand blessings 
 from my friends the vulgar. I am lord-mayor of 120 
 houses, I am absolute lord of the greatest cathedral in 
 the kingdom, am at peace with the neighbouring princes, 
 the lord-mayor of the city, and the archbishop of Dublin, 
 only the latter, like the king of France, sometimes 
 attempts encroachments on my dominions, as old Louis 
 XIV. did upon Lon-aine." 
 
 There was little consolation to be obtained either from 
 writing verses or frightening hackney coach drivers, as a 
 letter of Swift's to Bolingbroke, dated April 25, 1729, shows. 
 " I never wake without finding life a more insignificant 
 thing than it was the day before ; which is one great 
 advantage I get by living in this country where there is 
 nothing I shall be sorry to lose. But my greatest misery 
 is recollecting the scene of twenty years past, and then all 
 on a sudden dropping into the present. I remember 
 when I was a little boy I felt a great fish at the end of my 
 line which I drew up almost on the ground, but it dropped 
 in, and the disappointment vexes me to this very day, and 
 
282 
 
 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 I believe it was the type of all my future disappointments. 
 I should be ashamed to say this to you if you had not a 
 spirit fitter to bear your own misfortunes than I have to 
 think of them. Is there patience left to reflect by what 
 qualities wealth and greatness are got, and by what 
 qualities they are lost ? " 
 
 Such being Swift's dissatisfaction at exile, the pleasure 
 he derived from a regular correspondence with his English 
 friends can be readily imagined. His old political asso- 
 ciates were still pining in the cold shade of opposition. 
 The Whig party, comprising in its ranks all the great 
 peers and influential borough owners, was as impregnable 
 as ever. The Whig prime minister, Sir Robert Walpole, 
 grew stronger and more jovial every year. The first 
 Englishman who had taken up politics purely as a pro- 
 fession, his success was due, not so much to his own 
 energy and determination, as to the exactitude with which 
 he gauged the spirit of the time. It was an age of narrow 
 views and low ideals. For the time being no great 
 question arose to excite national feeling. Walpole gave 
 the country peace and kept the funds high. If he refused 
 to initiate either social or political reform ; if he organised 
 and carried on a tremendous system of public corruption ; 
 if he was gross, low, and sensual in his private life, the 
 mass of the nation cared little. Had the Tories come 
 into office, they could not have made much change.^ But 
 
 ' Political programmes were unknown at elections of this time ; the 
 contest turning on a few well-worn principles derived from the 
 antagonism between the houses of Stuart and Hanover. The Whigs 
 pointed to increased commerce and the Protestant succession. The 
 Tories railed against the land tax, and denounced the reigning 
 dynasty's fondness for Germany. The voter, knowing that no differ- 
 ence would arise whether Whig or Tory got in, wisely plumped for the 
 most generous candidate. The best picture of an eighteenth-century 
 election is thatin Smollett's novel of "Sir Lancelot Greaves,'' chapter ix. 
 
Letters to England. 283 
 
 of such an event there was no chance at present. Boling- 
 broke, the secret but real organiser of the opposition, 
 looked to the future rather than to the present. In the 
 great political tracts which he composed at this time, he 
 set himself rather to remodel the feelings of the political 
 world at large, than to devise special attacks on the 
 existing government. As he himself expressed it in his 
 " Letter on the Spirit of Patriotism," his object was to 
 " enlarge the minds of men which the minister had 
 narrowed to personal regards alone ; to expand their views 
 which he had confined to the present moment, as if nations 
 were mortal like the men who composed them, and Britain 
 was to perish with her degenerate children." What makes 
 this struggle interesting to a biographer of Swift, is the 
 curious fidelity with which Bolingbroke reproduced the 
 maxims advanced by Swift himself in the Examiney, and 
 in " The Conduct of the Allies." One notes the same 
 exposure of Whig methods, the same denunciation of 
 party, the same cry of country before faction. 
 
 Bolingbroke's theories eventually enjoyed a long period 
 of triumph. To Swift, therefore, must be attributed a 
 share in the movement which, after breaking up the 
 Whig phalanx, and inspiring the exalted statesmanship 
 of Chatham, formed a basis for the ill-omened domination 
 of George III. 
 
 To the formal struggle of the opposition against Wal- 
 pole, Swift paid little attention. In one of his letters he 
 expresses great admiration for Bolingbroke's " Disserta- 
 tion on Parties," in which party exclusiveness was elo- 
 quently denounced. He corresponded with William 
 Pulteney, one of the opposition heroes, and frequently 
 congratulates him on his energy in leading the forlorn 
 hope. But Swift could derive little pleasure from con- 
 templating the constant depression of his former political 
 
284 Dean Szvifi and his Wrzfmg's. 
 
 allies ; and he was at this time far more familiar with the 
 details of Irish than of English affairs. 
 
 In literature Swift's friends held the field. Swift's 
 interest in this part of their efforts was extremely keen. 
 In 1728 came the success of Gay's " Beggar's Opera," 
 the idea of which—" an idyll of low life " — had been 
 suggested.'to Gay by Swift himself. As a literary pro- 
 duction the opera had rrtuch merit, but it owed its real 
 triumph to the suspected undercurrent of satire against 
 Walpole. For a time Gay became quite a hero ; another 
 Sacheverell, Arbuthnot styled him. The performance of 
 a sequel, Polly, was stopped by the authorities ; but the 
 sequel sold well as a book, and with the profits of the 
 play added thereto, Gay reaped a rich reward. 
 
 Gay, like other Tories, had expected to obtain some- 
 thing on George II. 's accession. He was, indeed, offered 
 the post of gentleman usher to the Prince of Wales, but 
 refused to accept so insignificant an appointmaent. Swift 
 promptly wrote to console him : 
 
 " I have known courts these thirty-six years," he says, 
 in a letter dated November 27, 1727, " and know they 
 differ, but in some things they are extremely constant : 
 first, in the trite old maxim of a minister's never forgiving 
 those he hath injured; secondly, in the insincerity of those 
 who would be thought the best friends ; thirdly, in the 
 love of fawning, cringing, and tale-bearing ; fourthly, in 
 sacrificing those whom we really wish well to a point of 
 interest or intrigue ; fifthly, in keeping everything worth 
 taking for those who can do service or disservice." 
 
 Swift, however, rarely displays his cynicism for Gay's 
 benefit. The simplicity and child-like affection of the 
 latter touched his heart, and Swift's numerous letters to 
 Gay are mainly concerned with ordinary topics of social 
 life, expressions of the brightest and most genial sym- 
 pathy, and much fatherly advice about the disposal of his 
 
z-/.:^./-,,,^ 
 
 
 3). 
 
 
 <:^t..'■^'Z■t■^^'■t4^.^ 
 
Letters to England. ' 285 
 
 money, a subject on which Gay was apt to show 'little 
 solicitude. 
 
 Though deprived of court preferment, however. Gay 
 was quite happy with his kind patrons, the Duke and 
 Duchess of Queensberry, in whose household he was 
 practically domiciled. The Duchess ^ — " Kitty, beautiful 
 and young," according to a poem of Prior's — had, when 
 quite a child, come under Swift's notice. Though a 
 leader of fashion, she possessed a kind heart and cultured 
 mind, and in a postscript to one of Gay's letters she 
 solicited an introduction to the Dean of St. Patrick's. A 
 regular correspondence was opened, which enabled Swift 
 to resume his old habits of banter with the great. 
 
 On April 13, 1731, he writes to the Duchess, as 
 follows : 
 
 " Madam, — Since Mr. Gay affirms that you love to 
 have your own way, and since I have the same affection, 
 I will settle that matter immediately, to prevent those ill 
 consequences he apprehends. Your grace shall have 
 your own way in all places except your own house, and 
 the domains about it. There, and there only, I expect to 
 have mine, so that you have all the world to reign in, 
 baring only two or three hundred acres and two or three 
 houses in town or country. I will likewise, out of my 
 special grace, certain knowledge, and mere motion, allow 
 you to be in the right against all humankind except 
 myself, and to be never in the wrong but when you differ 
 from me. You shall have a greater privilege in the third 
 article of speaking your mind, which I shall graciously 
 allow you now and then to do even to myself, and only 
 rebuke you when it does not please me." 
 
 Besides the duchess. Swift's chief informant as to the 
 events of the fashionable world in London was his old 
 ' She was born Lady Catherine Hyde. 
 
2 86 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 friend Lady Betty, Lord Berkeley's daughter. She had 
 married a Sir John Germaine, but was left a widow in 1718. 
 
 In Pope's " Dunciad," == which, like " Gulliver's 
 Travels," had its origin in the discussions of the Scrib- 
 lerus Club, Swift took an intense pleasure. The Dean 
 of St. Patrick's, past-master as he was in the art of 
 reviling, preferred not to show his peculiar talent unless 
 for some very definite reason. He doubted the wisdom 
 of Pope's bitter attack on the inferior writers of the day. 
 With the "Dunciad" as a poem, however, he was 
 delighted. " When I began this long paper," he says, 
 writing on July 29, 1728, " I thought I should have filled 
 it with setting down the several passages I had marked 
 in the edition I had ; but I find it unnecessary, so many of 
 them falling under the same rule. After twenty times 
 reading the whole, I never in my opinion saw so much 
 good satire, or more good sense, in so many lines." 
 There is, it may be said, no more pleasing trait in Swift 
 than his extraordinary freedom from the slightest sus- 
 picion of literary jealousy. His letters to Pope are 
 crowded with the most enthusiastic encomiums. 
 
 But the chief value to Swift of his correspondence with 
 England lay in its power of keeping warm his old friend- 
 ships, now become the sole bright spot in his gloomy life. 
 He refers to this, writing to Pope on June i, 1728 ; the 
 letter is also interesting as containing a clue to his Irish 
 political career. 
 
 " I look upon my Lord Bolingbroke and us two as a 
 
 ' The "Dunciad" appeared in May, 1728. A mock epic poem, it 
 had for its hero Lewis Theobald, who had criticised unfavourably 
 Pope's edition of Shakspere (1725). The "Dunciad" had been 
 preceded in 1727 by a volume of " Miscellanies," lo which Pope, 
 Arbuthnot, and Swift, contributed. In this work also Pope had 
 bitterly satirised his literary rivals. 
 
Lettei'^s to England. 287 
 
 peculiar triumvirate, who have nothing to expect or to 
 fear ; and so far fittest to converse with one another ; 
 only he and I are a little subject to schemes, and one of 
 us (I would not say which) upon very weak appearances, 
 and this you have nothing to do with. I- do profess with- 
 out affectation that your kind opinion of me as a patriot 
 (since you call it so) is what I do not deserve ; because 
 what I do is owing to perfect rage and resentment, and 
 the mortifying sight of slavery, folly, and baseness about 
 me, among which I am forced to live. And I will take 
 my oath that you have more virtue in an hour than I in 
 seven years ; for you despise the follies and hate the vices 
 of mankind without the least ill effect on your temper; 
 and with regard to particular men, you are inclined 
 always rather to think the better, whereas with me it is 
 always directly contrary. I hope, however, this is not in 
 you from a superior principle of virtue, but from your situa- 
 tion, which has made all parties and interests indifferent 
 to you, who can be under no concern about High and Low 
 Church, Whig and Tory, or who is the first minister." 
 
 Pope, who was then staying with Bolingbroke at 
 Dawley, was much pleased with these compliments. 
 Bolingbroke also was delighted at being included in such 
 a noble trio. 
 
 " I now," writes Pope in answer, on June 28th next, 
 " hold the pen for my Lord Bolingbroke, who is reading 
 your letter between two haycocks, but his attention is 
 somewhat diverted by casting his eyes on the clouds, not 
 in admiration of what you say, but for fear of a shower. 
 He is pleased with your placing him in the triumvirate 
 between yourself and me ; though he says that he doubts 
 he shall fare like Lepidus' — while one of us runs away 
 with all the power, like Augustus, and another with all 
 the pleasures, like Anthony." Bolingbroke was now 
 
288 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 playing the part of Cincinnatus to perfection. " Now 
 his lordship," Pope goes on, "is run after his cart, I have 
 a moment left to myself to tell you that I overheard him 
 yesterday agree with a painter for £"200 to paint his 
 country hall with trophies of rakes, spades, prongs, &c., 
 and other ornaments, merely to countenance his calling 
 this place a farm." 
 
 Bolingbroke was not so enraptured with bucolic joys, 
 but that he found time for an occasional tour on the 
 continent. He loved, moreover, to moralise on the vanity 
 of things in general. On September 27, 1729, he writes 
 to Swift from Brussels in the following strain : 
 
 " Both of ur, (referring to his wife ') have closed the 
 tenth lustre, and it is high time to determine how we 
 shall play the last act of the farce. Might not my life be 
 entitled much more properly a what-d'ye-call-it than a 
 farce. Some comedy, a great deal of tragedy, and the 
 whole interspersed with scenes of Harlequin, Scaramouch, 
 and Dr. Baloardo, the prototype of your hero Oxford. I 
 used to think sometimes formerly of old age and of death ; 
 enough to prepare my mind." 
 
 His lordship, with an evident eye to the admiration of 
 posterity, continued in similar strain in a subsequent 
 letter of November igth following. Friendship, however, 
 is now the theme : 
 
 "While my mind grows daily more independent of the 
 world, and feels less need of leaning on external objects, 
 the ideas of friendship return oftener — they bury me, they 
 warn me more. Is it that we grow more tender as the 
 
 ' This was Bolingbroke's second wife, whom he married in 1720. 
 She was a French lady, the Marquise de ViUette. The first Lady 
 Bolingbroke, Swift's old friend, had died in 1718. The letters both 
 of Pope and Bolingbroke to Swift were intended for ultimate publica- 
 tion by the writers. They both sometimes go so far as to refer to the 
 act in the letters themselves. 
 
Letters to England. 289 
 
 moment of our great separation approaches, or is it that 
 they who are to live together in another state (for vara, 
 amicitia, non nisi inter bonos) begin to feel more strongly 
 that divine sympathy which is to be the great band of 
 their future society ? " 
 
 Friendships formed in early life are the great solace of 
 old age. None felt this more keenly than Swift. At the 
 same time he saw the possibility of suffering involved 
 therein ; and as, with advance of time, he saw his friends 
 taken away from him by death, his anguish was terrible. 
 
 In 1728 came the death of Swift's old school and 
 college friend, William Congreve. The latter, broken 
 down by gout and ophthalmia, had long since retired from 
 the world, and the later intercourse between him and 
 Swift had been very slight. Still, the loss struck Swift 
 as an omen. He had few friends, and the disappearance 
 of one of them made a serious gap. In a letter of 
 February 13, 1729, to Pope, Swift speaks feelingly of 
 Mr. Congreve, " whom I loved from my youth, and who, 
 surely, besides his other talents, was a very agreeable 
 companion. . . . Years have not hardened me, and I 
 have an addition of weight on my spirits since we 
 lost him." And Swift goes on to contrast himself with 
 hospitable Dr. Helsham with his crowd of table com- 
 panions. " He has twenty of these at command ; if one 
 of them dies, it is no more than poor Tom ; he gets 
 another or takes up with the rest, and is no more moved 
 than at the loss of his cat ; he offends nobody, is easy 
 with everybody; is not this the truly happy man ? " 
 
 In 1732 Gay died.' Swift writes thus to Pope in the 
 January of 1733 : 
 
 ' Swift received the letter, in which Gay's death was announced, on 
 December 15th. He left it unopened till the 20th, from "an impulse 
 foreboding some misfortune." 
 
 20 
 
290 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 " I received yours with a few lines from the doctor 
 (Arbuthnot), and the account of our losing Mr. Gay, upon 
 which event I shall say nothing. I am only concerned 
 that long living has not hardened me. ... I would 
 endeavour to comfort myself upon the loss of friends as 
 I do upon the loss of money, by turning to my account- 
 book, and seeing whether I have enough left for my 
 support ; but in the former case I find I have not any 
 more than in the other ; and know not any man who 
 is in a greater likelihood than myself to die poor and 
 friendless." 
 
 He writes on the same subject to Gay's patroness, the 
 Duchess of Queensberry, in the March following : 
 
 " The greatest unhappiness of my life is grown a com- 
 fort under the death of my friend, Mr. Gay — I mean my 
 banishment in this miserable country ; for the distance I 
 am at, and the despair I have of ever seeing my friends 
 further than by a summer's visit, and this, so late in my 
 life, so uncertain in my health, and so embroiled in my 
 little affairs, may probably never happen, so that my loss 
 is not so great as that of his other friends, who had it 
 always in their power to converse with him. . . . Loss 
 of friends has been called a tax upon life, and what is 
 worse, it is then too late to get others if they were to be 
 had, for the younger ones are all engaged." 
 
 How strongly the death of Gay affected him is shown 
 by the numerous references to it in his later letters. On 
 May I, 1733, he writes again to Pope on the same 
 subject : 
 
 " When I was of your age, I thought every day of 
 death, but now every minute ; and a continual giddy dis- 
 order, more or less, is a greater addition than that of 
 many years. I cannot affirm that I pity our friend Gay, 
 but I pity his friends; I pity you, and would at least 
 
Letters to England. 291 
 
 equally pity myself if I lived among you; because I 
 should have seen him oftener than you did, who are a 
 kind of hermit, how great a noise soever you make by 
 your ill nature in not letting the honest villains of the 
 time enjoy themselves in this world, which is their only 
 happiness, and terrifying them with another. I should 
 have added in my libel that of all men living you are the 
 most happy in your enemies and your friends ; and I will 
 swear you have fifty times more charity for mankind than 
 I could ever pretend to." 
 
 Soon after this Swift had to condole with Pope on the 
 death of his mother. His friend's sorrow affected Swift 
 also, and the latter's gloom deepened. The death of Gay 
 was soon followed by that of another old friend of Swift's, 
 Lady Masham, who had for some time past been vainly 
 pressing him to pay a visit to England ; and in 1735 
 Swift lost the kindliest and the most humorous friend of 
 all, Dr. Arbuthnot.^ Swift's despondency grew unendur- 
 able. " The death of Mr. Gay and the Doctor," he writes 
 to Pope on May 12, 1735, " have been terrible wounds 
 near my heart. Their living would have been of great 
 comfort to me, although I should never have seen them ; 
 like a sum of money in a bank, from which I should 
 receive at least annual interest, as I do from you, and 
 have done much from my Lord Bolingbroke." 
 
 Under these blows of time and fortune Swift's hatred 
 of the world grew deeper. Public and private, all seemed 
 hopeless. On March 8, 1735, he writes to William 
 Pulteney who was still carrying on the war against Wal- 
 pole : 
 
 " I will do an unmannerly thing, which is, to bequeath 
 
 ' Swift had 'declared, ten years before, that if there had been a 
 dozen Arbuthnots in the world, he would have burnt his manuscript 
 of " Gulliver's Travels." 
 
292 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 you an epitaph for forty years hence in two words, ' Ultimus 
 Britannorum.' You never forsook your party. You might 
 often have been as great as the court can make any man so ; 
 but you preserved your spirit of liberty when your former 
 colleagues sacrificed theirs ; and if it ever begin to breathe 
 in these days, it must entirely be owing to yourself and 
 one or two friends. But it is altogether impossible for 
 any nation to preserve its liberty long under a tenth part 
 of the present luxury, infidelity; and a million of corrup- 
 tions. . . . But no more of this. I am as sick of the 
 world as I am of age and disease, the last of which I am 
 never wholly without." 
 
 If England was bad, Ireland was worse ; and Swift 
 hated the latter all the more, because a perverse fate had 
 doomed him to spend so much of his life within her 
 boundaries. March 23, 1734, he writes thus to a 
 London merchant, Mr. Francis Grant : 
 
 "As to my native country, I happened indeed by a 
 perfect accident to be born here, my mother being left 
 here from returning to her house at Leicester, and I was 
 a year old before I was sent to England ; and thus I am 
 a Teague, or an Irishman, or what people please, although 
 the best part of my life was in England. 
 
 " What I did for this country, Ireland, was from perfect 
 hatred of tyranny and oppression. . . . 
 
 " I have done some smaller services (besides the sup- 
 pression of Wood's halfpence) to this kingdom, but I can 
 do no more. I have too many years upon me, and have too 
 much sickness. I am out of favour at court, where I was 
 well received during two summers six or seven years ago. 
 The governing people here do not love me. For, as 
 corrupt as England is, it is a habitation of saints in 
 comparison with Ireland. We are slaves, and knaves, 
 and fools ; and, all but bishops and people in employ- 
 
Letters to England. 293 
 
 ments, beggars. . . . The few honest men among us 
 are dead-hearted, poor, and out of favour and power." 
 
 In the above illustrations of Swift's correspondence 
 with his English friends, during the years 1727-1735, we 
 have anticipated the order of events. The following 
 chapter will be devoted to a brief consideration of Swift's 
 position as a poet ; and will contain a few extracts from 
 poems which, though not readily lending themselves to 
 quotation in a sketch of his career, are yet worthy 
 of note. In the next and final chapter, we shall resume 
 our history of Swift's life in Ireland from the year 1731, 
 and follow it to its close in 1745. 
 
CHAPTER XI. 
 
 SWIFT AS POET. 
 
 Merits of Swift's prose — Defects of his poetry — Its narrow scope — 
 Homeliness — Futility of its passion — No sense of natural beauty 
 or high emotion — Illustrations — " The Curate's Complaint of 
 Hard Duty" — "The Parson's Case"— "The Furniture of a 
 Woman's Mind" — " The Journal of a Modern Lady" — The morn- 
 ing — Tea and scandal — Card-playing — " Satirical Elegy on the 
 Death of the Duke of Marlborough "— " The Beast's Confession" 
 — Its moral — Swift's egoism — Poetical account of his promotion 
 to the deanery of St. Patrick's — Of his daily life — Verses by him- 
 self " On the Death of Dr. Swift." 
 
 Swift's prose is marked by its affection for simple 
 language and its constant use of logical sequences. He 
 dislikes metaphors, and never troubles about graces of 
 style ; even when an appeal to the emotions is intended, 
 it is always made through the reason iirst. As a result. 
 Swift's prose stands pre-eminent in English literature for 
 its clearness. No writer expresses his own ideas more 
 exactly ; no writer is more readily understood. 
 
 It has been well said that the merits of Swift's prose 
 form the defects of his poetry. Poetry demands sentiment 
 and pathos ; to these Swift's genius was altogether alien. 
 Poetry, at its best, takes for its subject the more tender 
 notes of human feeling ; Swift regarded them with un- 
 disguised contempt. Poetry ignores, or, at any rate, 
 
 idealises vulgar necessities and mean ideas ; Swift loved 
 
 294 
 
Swift as Poet. 295 
 
 to dwell on their naked reality with the intensity of a 
 monomaniac. Poetry in its bolder flights welcomes 
 extravagance of diction ; Swift always abhorred it. 
 Swift's poetry is thus nothing but his prose put into 
 rhyme. The language is as simple, and the images as 
 commonplace in the former as in the latter. None of 
 the qualities of true poetry are to be found. Swift 
 never has a refined simile. He goes out of his way to 
 materialise. The coarser, one might add, the more 
 disgusting, a subject, the more he dwells upon it. He 
 denies that poetry can spring from a natural aspiration 
 for better things. In " The Progress of Poetry," he 
 compares the poet to a goose, in its two stages of reple- 
 tion and ravenousness. In the former it waddles about, 
 feebly cackling ; in the latter, 
 
 " Her body light, she tries her wings 
 And scorns the ground and upward springs, 
 While all the parish, as she flies, 
 Hear sounds harmonious from the skies." 
 
 Even so, the poet, when he makes some profits out of a 
 successful drama, subsides into the joys of a greasy 
 eating-house.- When his money is gone, hunger comes, 
 and the poet 
 
 " Rises like a vapour. 
 Supported high on wings of paper, 
 He singing flies and flying sings. 
 While here below all Grub Street rings." 
 
 Impossible to be more homely. From the fattened goose 
 to the gin-sodden bard ; from the parish, with its sugges- 
 tion of frowsy parson and clod-pated squire, to Grub 
 Street, with its threadbare ballad-mongers, all is gross. 
 But for a higher conception of poetry one would seek in 
 
296 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 vain. Swift's celebrated " Rhapsody on -Poetry " is 
 merely advice to a huckster how to push his wares : 
 
 " Then poet, if you mean to thrive, 
 Employ your muse on kings alive ; 
 With prudence gathering up a cluster, 
 Of all the virtues you can muster. 
 Which formed into a garland sweet, 
 Lay humbly at your monarch's feet, 
 Who as the odours reach his throne. 
 Will smile and think them all his own.'' 
 
 It may, indeed, be doubted whether Swift ever took a 
 serious view of the power of poetry to arouse noble emo- 
 tions. He himself uses it to illustrate his wit, or because 
 it lends itself so well to the expression of satire. It is 
 true that Swift's verse often reaches to the extreme of 
 indignant passion. But passion, though always valuable 
 as an index to character, can only excite real and abiding 
 interest if aroused by an adequate cause. Read the 
 following, from a diatribe against Joshua, Lord Allen : 
 
 " Let me now the vices trace 
 From the father's scoundrel race. 
 
 Hence the mean and sordid soul. 
 Like his body, rank and foul, 
 Hence that wild suspicious peep, 
 Like a rogue that steals a sheep ; 
 Hence he learned the butcher's guile 
 How to cut your throat and smile." 
 
 This would have worth, if directed against Domitian or 
 Caligula. It becomes verbiage when applied to an igno- 
 rant, commonplace, Irish squire of whom nothing would 
 ^ver have been heard, had he not by an ordinary act of 
 
Swift as Poet. 297 
 
 political opposition roused Swift's fury. Another charac- 
 teristic of the poet, love of natural scenery, is also absent 
 from Swift's writings. The man with the muck-rake, he 
 sees nothing save the usual surroundings and appliances 
 of every-day life. Swift's realism, to use a modern term, 
 is so intense and so ill-directed, that it misses the pic- 
 turesque. 
 
 Take for instance the following : 
 
 A Description of the Morning. 
 
 " Now hardly here and there a hackney coach. 
 Appearing, show'd the ruddy morn's approach. 
 The slip-shod 'prentice from his master's door. 
 Had pared the dirt and sprinkled round the floor. 
 Now Moll had whirl'd her mop with dext'rous airs, 
 Prepared to scrub the entry and the stairs. 
 The youth with broomy stumps began to trace 
 The kennel's edge, where wheels had worn the place. 
 The small-coal man was heard with cadence deep, 
 Till drowned in shriller notes of, chimney-sweep : 
 Duns at his lordship's gate began to meet. 
 And brick-dust Moll had screamed through half the street. 
 The turnkey now his flock returning sees, 
 Duly let out a-nights to steal for fees : 
 The watchful baihffs take their silent stands, 
 And schoolboys lag with satchels in their hands." 
 
 Poetry loves to concentrate itself on acts or emotions 
 which ennoble human nature ; love, fidelity, self-sacrifice. 
 Even its darker themes, the treason of an lago, the lust of 
 a Cenci, have, in their own way, the element of grandeur. 
 Swift deals with petty defects, and from their meanest 
 point of view ; the shallow deceits of a fourth-rate place- 
 hunter, the sordid miseries of a Traviata from the slums of 
 Drury Lane. For the plainer virtues he has a certain 
 admiration. But it was a central point of his philosophy 
 
298 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 that men habitually act from the basest motives ; and in 
 dealing with the loftiest subjects Swift, to parody a well- 
 known Latin saying, touched nothing which he did not 
 degrade. The follov^^g instances have been collected as 
 illustrating the most characteristic features of Swift's 
 poetry. It will be noticed they are all in the rhyming 
 eight-foot metre specially affected by Swift, for its suita- 
 bility to his purposes. One of his features is the exact- 
 ness and felicity of his rhymes. As Scott has said, 
 " Rhyme, which is a handcuff to an inferior poet, he who 
 is master of his art wears as a bracelet. Swift was of 
 the latter description ; his lines fall as easily into the 
 best grammatical arrangement, and the most simple and 
 forcible expression, as if he had been writing in prose." 
 
 Swift is frequently humorous on the woes of the " in- 
 ferior clergy." Take the following : 
 
 Curates Complaint of Hard Duty. 
 
 ' I march'd three miles through scorching sand. 
 With zeal in heart, and notes in hand, 
 I rode four more to Great St. Mary, 
 Using four legs when two were weary : 
 To three fair virgins I did tie men 
 In the close bands of pleasing Hymen ; 
 I dipp'd two babes in holy water, 
 And purified their mother after. 
 Within an hour and a half, 
 I preach'd three congregations deaf ; 
 Where, thundering out, with lungs long-winded, 
 I chopp'd so fast, that few there minded. 
 My emblem, the laborious sun, 
 Saw all these mighty labours done, 
 Before one race of his was run. 
 All this performed by Robert Hewitt ; 
 What mortal else could e'er go through it ? ' 
 
 Or the following ; 
 
Swift as Poet. 299 
 
 The Parson's Case. 
 
 " That you, friend Marcus, like a stoic, 
 Can wish to die in strains heroic, 
 No real fortitude implies : 
 Yet all must own thy wish is wise. 
 Thy curate's place, thy fruitful wife, 
 Thy busy, drudging scene of life. 
 Thy insolent illiterate vicar. 
 Thy want of all-consoling liquor. 
 Thy threadbare gown, thy cassock rent, 
 Thy credit sunk, thy money spent, 
 Thy week made up of fasting-days. 
 Thy grate unconscious of a blaze. 
 And to complete thy other curses. 
 The quarterly demands of nurses. 
 Are ills you wisely wish to leave, ' 
 And fly for refuge to the grave : 
 And, O, what virtue you express, 
 In wishing such afflictions less ! 
 But now should fortune shift the scene. 
 And make thy curateship a dean ; 
 Or some rich benefice provide, 
 To pamper luxury and pride ; 
 With labour small, and income great ; 
 With chariot less for use than state ; 
 With swelling scarf and glossy gown. 
 And licence to reside in town ; 
 To shine where all the gay resort, 
 At concerts, coffee-house, or court ; 
 And weekly persecute his grace 
 With visits or to beg a place ; 
 With underlings thy flocks to teach. 
 With no desire to pray or preach ; 
 With haughty spouse in vesture fine, 
 With plenteous meals and generous wine 
 Would'st thou not wish, in so much ease, 
 Thy years as numerous as thy days ?" 
 
 Much of Swift's poetry is devoted to attacks on the I 
 fair sex. ^ 
 
 " Rhymes like this prove that Swift spoke with an Irish brogue. 
 
300 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 The Furniture of a Woman's Mind. 
 
 " A set of phrases learn'd by rote ; 
 A passion for a scarlet coat ; 
 When at a play to laugh or cry, 
 Yet cannot tell the reason why ; 
 Never to hold her tongue a minute, 
 While all she prates has nothing in it. 
 'Whole hours can with a coxcomb sit, 
 And take his nonsense all for wit ; 
 Her learning mounts to read a song, 
 But half the words pronouncing wrong 
 Has every repartee in store 
 She spoke ten thousand times before ; 
 Can ready compliments supply 
 On all occasions cut and dry. 
 Such hatred to a parson's gown, 
 The sight would put her in a swoon ; 
 For conversation well endued, 
 She calls it witty to be rude ; 
 And, placing raillery in railing, 
 Will tell aloud your greatest failing ; 
 Nor make a scruple to expose 
 Your bandy leg or crooked nose ; 
 Can at her morning tea run o'er 
 The scandal of the day before ; 
 Improving hourly in her skill 
 To cheat and wrangle at quadrille." 
 
 Swift pursues the same topic in "The Journal of a 
 Modern Lady." 
 
 " By nature turn'd to play the rake well 
 (As we shall show you in the sequel), 
 The modern dame is waked by noon 
 (Some authors say not quite so soon). 
 Because, though sore against her will, 
 She sat all night up at quadrille.' 
 
 ' A game at cards very popular at this time. Cards were the sole 
 occupation at all polite assemblies, both now and long after. C/. 
 
Swift as Poet. 30 1 
 
 She stretches, gapes, unglues her eyes. 
 
 And asks if it be time to rise ; 
 
 Of headache and the spleen complains ; 
 
 And then, to cool her heated brains, 
 
 Her night-gown and her slippers brought her, 
 
 Takes a large dram of citron water. 
 
 Then to her glass ; and ' Betty, pray, 
 
 Don't I look frightfully to-day? 
 
 But was it not confounded hard ? 
 
 Well, if I ever touch a card ! 
 
 Four matadores, and lose codille ! 
 
 Depend upon't, I never will. 
 
 But run to Tom, and bid him fix 
 
 The ladies here to-night by six.' 
 
 ' Madam, the goldsmith waits below ; 
 
 He says his business is to know 
 
 If you'll redeem the silver cup 
 
 He keeps in pawn ?' ' First show him up.' 
 
 ' Your dressing plate he'll be content 
 
 To take for interest, cent, per cent. : 
 
 And, madam, there's my Lady Spade 
 
 Has sent this letter by her maid.' 
 
 ' Well, I remember what she won ; 
 
 And has she sent so soon to dun ? 
 
 Here, carry down these ten pistoles 
 
 My husband left to pay for coals ; 
 
 I thank my stars they all are light. 
 
 And I may have revenge to-night.' " 
 
 As the lady sips her tea various tradesmen come in and 
 display their wares. She then proceeds with her toilette 
 — a very long affair — and at last dinner, to which several 
 guests have been invited, is announced. 
 
 " At table now she acts her part. 
 Has all the dinner cant by heart ; 
 
 Smollett's " Humphrey Clinker " : — " Lady Griskin is a person 
 of fashion, to whom we have the honour to be related. She keeps 
 a small rout at her own house, never exceeding ten or a dozen card 
 tables ; but these are frequented by the best company in town.' 
 
302 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 ' I thought we were to dine alone, 
 My dear ; for sure, if I had known 
 This company would come to-day — 
 But really 'tis my spouse's way ! 
 He's so unkind, he never sends 
 To tell when he invites his friends : 
 I wish ye may but have enough ! ' 
 And while with all this paltry stuff 
 She sits tormenting every guest, 
 Nor gives her tongue one moment's rest, 
 In phrases batter'd, stale, and trite, 
 Which modern ladies call polite, 
 You see the booby husband sit 
 In admiration at her wit ! " 
 
 Dinner is followed by the usual gossip at the tea-table, 
 between the lady and a select coterie of female scandal- 
 mongers. 
 
 " Now voices over voices rise, 
 While each to be the loudest vies ; 
 They contradict, affirm, dispute. 
 No single tongue one moment mute. 
 
 Nor do they trust their tongues alone, 
 But speak a language of their own ; 
 Can read a nod, a shrug, a look, 
 Far better than a printed book ; 
 Convey a libel in a frown, 
 And 'wink a reputation down ; 
 Or by the tossing of the fan 
 Describe the lady and the man.'' 
 
 A little after six in the evening a fresh set of ladies 
 arrive, and cards begin. The heroine loses; her cash 
 being run out, she stakes her jewelry ; and as the bad 
 luck continues, she falls to accusing the guests of playing 
 false. A storm of mutual reviling ensues. 
 
Swift as Poet. 303 
 
 " But, conscious that they all speak true, 
 And give each other but their due, 
 It never interrupts the game, 
 Or makes them sensible of shame.'' 
 
 At one in the morning they have supper, after which 
 cards go on again till 4 a.m. 
 
 " Now all in haste they huddle on 
 Their hoods, their cloaks, and get them gone ; 
 But first the winner must invite 
 The company to-morrow night. 
 Unlucky madam, left in tears 
 (Who now again quadrille forswears), 
 With empty purse and aching head 
 Steals to her sleeping spouse to bed." 
 
 Swift was utterly devoid of chivalry. The following \ 
 piece will show that, not even in death, were his political > 
 opponents free from his abuse. 
 
 A Satirical Elegy 07t the Death of the Duke of Marlborough. 
 
 " His Grace ! impossible ! what, dead ! 
 Of old age too, and in his bed ! 
 And could that mighty warrior fall, 
 And so inglorious, after all ? 
 Well, since he's gone, no matter how, 
 The last loud trump must wake him now ; 
 And, trust me, as the noise grows stronger, 
 He'd wish to sleep a little longer. 
 And could he be indeed so old 
 As by the newspapers we're told .■' 
 Threescore, I think, is pretty high ; 
 'Twas time in conscience he should die 1 
 This world he cumbered long enough ; 
 He burnt his candle to the snufF. 
 And that's the reason, some folks think. 
 He left behind so great a stink. 
 Behold his funeral appears. 
 Nor widow's sighs, nor orphan's tears, 
 
304 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 Wont at such times each heart to pierce, 
 
 Attend the progress of his hearse. 
 
 But what of that ? his friends may say 
 
 He had those honours in his day. 
 
 True to his profit and his pride, 
 
 He made them weep before he died. 
 
 Come hither, all ye empty things ! 
 
 Ye bubbles raised by breath of kings ! 
 
 Who float upon the tide of state ; 
 
 Come hither and behold your fate ! 
 
 Let pride be taught by this rebuke, 
 
 How very mean a thing's a duke ; 
 
 From all his ill-got honours flung, 
 
 Turn'd to that dirt from whence he sprung." 
 
 Swift's cleverest satirical poem is "The Beast's Con- 
 fession," written to show how most men mistake their 
 own talents. 
 
 " And thus the pious Wolf begins . 
 Good father, I must own, with shame. 
 That often I have been to blame, 
 I must confess on Friday last, 
 Wretch that I was ! I broke my fast : 
 But I defy the basest tongue 
 To prove I did my neighbour wrong ; 
 Or ever went to seek my food 
 By rapine, theft, or thirst of blood. 
 The Ass, approaching next, confess'd 
 That in his heart he loved a jest : 
 A wag he was, he needs must own. 
 And could not let a dunce alone : 
 Sometimes his friend he would not spare, 
 And might perhaps be too severe. 
 But yet the worst that could be said 
 He was a wit both born and bred ; 
 And if it be a sin and shame. 
 Nature alone must bear the blame : 
 One fault he has, is sorry for't. 
 His ears are half a foot too short, 
 Which could he to the standard bring. 
 
Swift as Poet. 305 
 
 He'd show his face before the king : 
 Then for his voice, there's none disputes 
 That he's the nightingale of brutes. 
 The Swine with contrite heart allow'd 
 His shape and beauty made him proud ; 
 In diet was perhaps too nice, 
 But gluttony was ne'er his vice : 
 In every turn of life content. 
 And meekly took what fortune sent. 
 Inquire through all the parish round, 
 ^ A better neighbour ne'er was found ; 
 
 His vigilance might some displease ; 
 'Tis true he hated sloth like peas. 
 The Mimic Ape began his chatter, 
 How evil tongues his life bespatter ; 
 Much of the censuring world complain'd. 
 Who said his gravity was feign'd : 
 Indeed the strictness of his morals 
 Engaged him in a hundred quarrels. 
 He saw, and he was grieved to see't, 
 His zeal was sometimes indiscreet. 
 He found his virtues too severe 
 For our corrupted times to bear ; 
 Yet such a lewd, licentious age 
 Might well e.xcuse a stoic's rage." 
 
 Then comes the moral. Does not the lawyer always 
 declare his aversion for legal quibbling ? Does not the 
 courtier proclaim his contempt for flatterers ? Is not the 
 statesman always vaunting his patriotism ? And does not 
 the sharper complain of how people take advantage of his 
 innocence ? 
 
 It is, however, in writing about himself that Swift's 
 poetic humour is at its best. The following extracts are 
 from a long poem, describing the circumstances of Swift's 
 elevation to the deanery of St. Patrick's. It is imitated 
 from Horace's Epistles, book i, Ep. vii. One day, we 
 are told. Lord Oxford, passing along the street, sees an 
 odd-looking parson cheapening books at a stall. Struck 
 
 21 
 
3o5 Dean Swtft and his Writings. 
 
 with a whim, Oxford sends his secretary, Mr. Lewis, to 
 ask this parson who he is. 
 
 " Lewis his patron's humour knows, 
 Away upon his errand goes, 
 And quickly did the matter sift ; 
 Found out that it was Dr. Swift, 
 A clergyman of special note 
 For shunning those of his own coat ; 
 Which made his brethren of the gown 
 Take care betimes to run him down : 
 No libertine, nor over nice, 
 Addicted to no sort of vice. 
 Went where he pleased, said what he thought. 
 Not rich, but owed no man a groat : 
 
 In state opinions d, la mode, 
 
 He hated Wharton like a toad. 
 
 Had given the faction many a wound, 
 And libelled all the junto ' round ; 
 
 Kept company with men of wit, 
 
 Who often fathered what he writ ; 
 
 His works were hawked in every street. 
 
 But seldom rose above a sheet : 
 
 Of late, indeed, the paper-stamp 
 
 Did very much his genius cramp ; 
 
 And, since he could not spend his fire. 
 
 He now intended to retire." 
 
 Swift is introduced to Harley, becomes his intimate, 
 and receives as a reward for his services the deanery 
 of St, Patrick's. 
 
 " Suppose him now a dean complete, 
 Demurely lolling in his seat, 
 The silver verge, with decent pride. 
 Stuck underneath his cushion side ; 
 Suppose him gone through all vexations, 
 Patents, instalments, abjurations. 
 First-fruits, and tenths, and chapter-treats, 
 Dues, payments, fees, demands, and cheats ; 
 
 A nick-name for the Whig leaders. 
 
Swift as Poet. 307 
 
 The wicked laity's contriving, 
 
 To hinder clergymen from thriving. 
 
 Now, all the doctor's money spent, 
 
 His tenants wrong him in his rent ; 
 
 The farmers spitefully combined, 
 
 Force him to take his tithes in kind, 
 
 And Parvisol ' discounts arrears 
 
 By bills for taxes and repairs. 
 
 Poor Swift, with all his losses vex'd, 
 
 Not knowing where to turn him next, 
 
 Above a thousand pounds in debt, 
 
 Takes horse, and in a mighty fret 
 
 Rides day and night at such a rate, 
 
 He soon arrives at Harley's gate ; 
 
 But was so dirty, pale, and thin. 
 
 Old Read ° would hardly let him in. 
 
 Said Harley, ' Welcome, reverend dean ! 
 
 What makes your worship look so lean ? 
 
 Why, sure you won't appear in town 
 
 In that old wig and rusty gown ? 
 
 I doubt your heart is set on pelf 
 
 So much that you neglect yourself. 
 
 What ! I suppose now stocks are high, 
 
 You've some good purchase in your eye ; 
 
 Or is your money out at use ? ' 
 
 ' Truce, my good lord, I beg a truce ' 
 
 (The doctor in a passion cried), 
 
 ' Your raillery is misapplied ; 
 
 Experience I have dearly bought ; 
 
 You know I am not worth a groat ; 
 
 But you resolved to have your jest. 
 
 And 'twas a folly to contest ; 
 
 Then, since you now have done your worst. 
 
 Pray leave me where you found me first.' " 
 
 The following well describes the dean's manner of 
 living : 
 
 " On rainy days alone I dine 
 Upon a chick and pint of wine. 
 
 Swift's estate agent. ' Harley's porter. 
 
3o8 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 On rainy days I dine alone, 
 And pick my chicken to the bone ; 
 But this my servants much enrages, 
 No scraps remain to save board-wages. 
 In weather fine I nothing spend. 
 But often spunge upon a friend ; 
 Yet, where he's not so rich as I, 
 I pay my club, and so good-bye." 
 
 The most striking " document " in Swift's writings 
 is the poem " On the Death of Dr. Swift," written in 
 November, 1731. It is the best illustration of Swift's 
 intense egoism; wit it also possesses, but of the kind 
 which Daniel O'Connell, speaking of Sir Robert Peel's 
 smile, compared to the silver plate on a coffin. 
 
 The moral of the poem is based on the best known 
 of Rochefoucauld's maxims : " Dans I'adversite de nos 
 meilleurs amis nous trouvons toujours quelque chose 
 qui ne nous deplait pas." 
 
 After a short exordium on the truth of the above 
 saying, Swift describes how his friends begin to remark 
 on his dotage : 
 
 " See how the dean begins to break ! 
 Poor gentleman, he droops apace ! 
 You plainly find it in his face. 
 That old vertigo in his head 
 Will never leave him till he's dead. 
 Besides, his memory decays : 
 He recollects not what he says ; 
 He cannot call his friends to mind : 
 Forgets the place where last he dined ; 
 Plies you with stories o'er and o'er ; 
 He told them fifty times before." 
 
 The dean rapidly declines, and at last the fatal day 
 arrives. Then begins the comment. Swift, it should 
 be remembered, had already resolved to insert a clause 
 
Swift as Poet. 309 
 
 in his will, by which the bulk of his fortune was left to 
 found a lunatic asylum. In this bequest some biographers 
 have discovered a generous zeal on behalf of a body of 
 unfortunates, to whom the vrorld at that time was in- 
 clined to pay little heed. All this is verbiage. It was 
 due partly to Swift's desire to spite his relatives ; partly 
 to perpetuate the idea he desired men to form of his own 
 character. 
 
 " Behold the fatal day arrives ! 
 ' How is the dean ? ' — ' He's just alive.' 
 Now the departing prayer is read ; 
 ' He hardly breathes.' ' The dean is dead.' 
 Before the passing bell begun, 
 The news through half the town is run. 
 ' O ! may we all for death prepare ! 
 What has he left ? and who's his heir ? ' 
 ' I know no more than what the news is ; 
 'Tis all bequeathed to public uses.' 
 ' To public uses ! there's a whim ! 
 What had the public done for him ? 
 Mere envy, avarice, and pride : 
 He gave it all, but first he died. 
 And had the dean, in all the nation, 
 No worthy friend, no poor relation ? 
 So ready to do strangers good, 
 Forgetting his own flesh and blood ! ' 
 Now Grub-street wits are all employ'd ; 
 With elegies the town is cloy'd : 
 Some paragraph in every paper 
 To bless the dean or curse the drapier. 
 The doctors, tender of their fame, 
 Wisely on me lay all the blame : 
 ' We must confess his case was nice ; 
 But he would never take advice. 
 Had he been ruled, for aught appears, 
 He might have lived these twenty years ; 
 For when we opened him we found 
 That all his vital parts were sound.' 
 From Dublin soon to London spread, 
 
3 to Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 'Tis told at court ' the dean is dead.' 
 And Lady Suffolk, in the spleen, 
 Runs laughing up to tell the queen. 
 The queen so gracious, mild, and good, 
 Cries, ' Is he gone ! 'tis time he should. 
 He's dead, you say, then let him rot : 
 I'm glad the medals were forgot." 
 I promised him, I own : but when ? 
 I only was the princess then ; 
 But now, as consort of the king. 
 You know 'tis quite another thing.' 
 
 Here shift the scene, to represent 
 
 How those I love my death lament. 
 
 Poor Pope would grieve a month, and Gay 
 
 A week, and Arbuthnot a day. 
 
 St. John himself will scarce forbear 
 
 To bite his pen and drop a tear. 
 
 The rest will give a shrug, and cry, 
 
 ' I'm sorry, but we all must die ! ' 
 
 My female friends, whose tender hearts 
 
 Have better learned to act their parts, 
 
 Receive the news in doleful dumps : 
 
 'The dean is dead. (Pray, what is trumps ? ) 
 
 The Lord have mercy on his soul ! 
 
 (Ladies, I'll venture for the vole.) 
 
 Six deans, they say, must bear the pall. 
 
 (I wish I knew what king to call.) 
 
 Madam, your husband will attend 
 
 The funeral of so good a friend. 
 
 No, madam, 'tis a shocking sight. 
 
 And he's engaged to-morrow night : 
 
 My Lady Club will take it ill 
 
 If he should fail her at quadrille. 
 
 He loved the dean — (I lead a heart). 
 
 But dearest friends, they say, must part. 
 
 His time was come, he ran his race, 
 
 We hope he's in a better place.' " 
 
 ' Referring to some medals promised to Swift by the queen, when 
 Princess of Wales, in 1727. 
 
Swift as Poet. 311 
 
 The poem ends with an elaborate and extremely partial 
 character of the dean, who seems to have forgotten Hobbes' 
 dictum, that no man can be judge in his own cause. He 
 protests his political integrity, recounts his services, and 
 takes much pride for the contempt he had always shown 
 for rank and wealth. He acknowledges a fondness for 
 satire — 
 
 " Yet malice never was his aim ; 
 He lash'd the vice, but spared the name." 
 
 A somewhat curious comment on the libels on Marl- 
 borough, Wharton, Steele, Lord Allen, and other victims. 
 
 The lines which follow, beginning : 
 
 " True genuine dulness moved his pity, 
 Unless it offered to be witty," 
 
 however, admirably sum up one of Swift's most distinc- 
 tive traits — ^his respect for simplicity. 
 
 He concludes by a reference to his bequest : 
 
 '' He gave the little wealth he had 
 To build a house for fools and mad ; 
 And show'd by one satiric touch 
 No nation wanted it so much." 
 
CHAPTER XII. 
 
 CONCLUSION. 
 
 The Established Church in Ireland — Small number of its adherents 
 — Its internal quarrels — Causes of discord between the bishops 
 and parochial clergy — Position of the Protestant Dissenters 
 — Swift's views on the Established Church — His errors — His 
 hatred of the Irish bishops — Opposition to the bill for commuting 
 the tithe on hemp — Fury against the Dissenters — Quarrel with 
 Serjeant Bettesworth — Question of the tithe of agistment — The 
 Irish House of Commons denounces it — Breach between them 
 and Swift in consequence — "The Legion Club" — Political isola- 
 tion of Swift — Literary work of these later years — The guide to 
 " Polite Conversation" — "The Directions to Servants" — Swift's 
 growing ill-health from 1737 — Its causes — He struggles against 
 old age — Loss of friends — Lonehness — " Only a woman's hair " — 
 Deepening senility from 1740 — Loss of memory and paralysis — 
 Swift's condition becomes dangerous — Guardians appointed for 
 him, March, 1742 — Picture of him during his last three years — 
 His utter helplessness — Is seized with convidsions and dies, 
 October 19, 1745— His burial — And epitaph. 
 
 Reference- has already been made to the anomalous 
 
 condition at this time of the EstabHshed Church in 
 
 Ireland. Seven-eighths of the Irish population were 
 
 Catholics ; yet only one-third of the non- Catholic minority 
 
 followed the Anglican form, the remaining two-thirds 
 
 being divided among Protestant dissenting sects, of which 
 
 the Presbyterian was far the largest. The worship of the 
 
 latter was allowed ; but a Test Act passed in 1703 had 
 
 312 
 
Conclusion. 313 
 
 shut them out from all civil, military, or municipal 
 offices. 
 
 Even the Established Church itself was a prey to 
 internal struggles — a result due to the discord existing 
 between the bishops and the parochial clergy. The Irish 
 bishoprics at that time were extremely wealthy, no less 
 than a nineteenth of the whole soil of Ireland being in 
 their possession ; so low, on the other hand, was the value 
 of Irish livings, that though pluralities were universal, it 
 was hard to find an incumbent whose income amounted to 
 ^100 a year ; cases where it was less than £50 were 
 extremely common. 
 
 The bishops, in accordance with the settled policy of 
 the English Government, were invariably chosen from men 
 of English birth and English training. The rank and file 
 of the Irish clergy were, in the majority of cases, sons of 
 Irish landowners, with strong prejudices on behalf of the 
 country their fathers had adopted. 
 
 Lastly, the Irish bishops were Whig in politics and 
 Latitudinarian in ideas ; their clergy, owing to the hos- 
 tility then felt by Ireland for the English Whig Govern- 
 ment, were, as a rule, High Church and Tory. The 
 Irish clergy had thus very reasonable grounds of com- 
 plaint against their bishops. These, however, were 
 united to claims for which it is impossible to have any- 
 thing but condemnation : their rigid insistence on tithes, 
 and their fury against any proposal to repeal the disabili- 
 ties of Irish Protestant Dissenters. Both these claims. 
 Swift, actuated partly by resentment against the Whigs, 
 partly by ecclesiastical predilection, supported with the 
 most intense pertinacity. His action in doing so has been 
 rightly fixed upon as the great fault of his career as an 
 Irish statesman. The main feature of the error was its 
 inconsistency with his previous conduct. The excessive 
 
314 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 tithes exacted by the incumbent were as burdensome, and 
 far more odious than, the excessive rent exacted by the 
 landlord. Toleration of the Irish Catholics was in those 
 days too much to expect from a Protestant politician. It 
 was, however, obvious that if the patriot party in Ireland 
 intended, as Swift hoped, to acquire free trade and parlia- 
 mentary freedom, the first step would be to sink their 
 petty ceremonial prejudices, and take their vigorous Non- 
 conformist brethren into a close alliance. 
 
 The Irish parliament was by no means unwilling to 
 discuss the settlement of tithes, or the repeal of the Test 
 on Dissenters. 
 
 Swift declined to entertain the idea of either. As a 
 consequence, the last part of his Irish career sees its 
 early promises completely stultified. The tribune of the 
 people sinks into an advocate of the tithe proctor and the 
 Anglican bigot. The man, who had been the first to 
 demand free trade and legislative independence, ends by 
 becoming the bitter enemy of the one body through whom 
 those blessings could be obtained. 
 
 In 1731 the Irish bishops introduced two bills into the 
 parliament at Dublin. The first was intended to enforce 
 clerical residence, for which purpose it contained certain 
 clauses compelling the clergy to build proper parsonages 
 on their glebes. The second was for the subdivision of 
 certain very large livings. Swift was promptly up in 
 arms against these proposals. Their object, he declared, 
 was to make the unfortunate clergy more powerless and 
 miserable than they were before. If these bills were 
 carried, the Irish incumbents would become slaves to the 
 bishops. The latter he attacked with the utmost fury. 
 He had already given his opinion of them. " Excellent 
 and moral men," he remarked, " have been selected on 
 every occasion of vacancy. But it unfortunately has 
 
Conclusion. 3 1 5 
 
 uniformly happened that, as these worthy divines crossed 
 Hounslow Heath on their way to Ireland to take posses- 
 sion of their bishoprics, they have been regularly robbed 
 and murdered by the highwaymen frequenting that 
 common, who seized upon their robes and patents, came 
 over to Ireland, and are consequently bishops in their 
 stead." 
 
 He now drew a cutting picture of the difference 
 between the lordly prelate with his enormous income 
 safely secured, his seat in the House of Peers, his free- 
 dom from all onerous duties, and the struggling rector, 
 overburdened with work, and hardly collecting a wretched 
 pittance in tithes from the sullen and mendacious farmer.^ 
 The two bills passed the Peers, but were thrown out in 
 1732 by the Irish House of Commons. The latter, how- 
 ever, were soon to fall in their turn under Swift's resent- 
 ment. In 1733 a bill was introduced therein for the 
 encouragement of the Irish linen manufacture. It con- 
 tained a clause proposing that the variable tithe on hemp 
 and flax should be commuted for a fixed payment. Swift 
 again came forward with a bitter pamphlet on the sub- 
 ject. ^ " This bill," said he, using an argument that 
 must have made the bones of Stephen Langton turn in 
 their grave, " is directly against Magna Charta ; whereof 
 the first clause is for confirming the inviolable rights of 
 holy church." He proceeded to point out the injustice 
 done to the clergy by cutting short the possible increase 
 of their tithes, which " by the expense, the trouble, and 
 
 ' See Swift's Tracts, " On the Bill for the Clergy residing on their 
 Livings" and " Considerations upon Two Bills sent down from the 
 House ot Lords." 
 
 ' See Swift's " Some Reasons against the Bill for setthng the Tithe 
 of Hemp." All these tracts contain much curious information rela- 
 tive to the Established Church of Ireland. 
 
3i6 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 vexation of collecting and bargaining for them, are of all 
 rents the most precarious, uncertain, and ill paid ; " and 
 he inveighed in bitter terms against the gentlemen of the 
 House of Commons, who, he declared, had introduced the 
 bill solely in order to increase their own rents. The bill, 
 mainly from his vigorous denunciation of it, was eventually 
 lost. But his suspicions of the Irish parliament were too 
 deeply rooted to be allayed. Suggestions for repealing 
 the Sacramental Test on Irish Protestant Dissenters 
 roused him to frenzy ; and much of his time was spent in 
 writing bitter diatribes against that party. His fury was 
 especially aroused by the phrase employed by the advo- 
 cates of the bill : " Brother Protestants and Fellow 
 Christians." He indited a special poem against it : 
 
 " Thus Lamb, renown'd for cutting corns. 
 An offered fee from Radcliffe scorns, 
 ' Not for the world — we doctors, brother, 
 Must take no fees of one another.' 
 Thus to a dean, some curate sloven 
 Subscribes, ' Dear sir, your brother loving.' 
 Thus all the footmen, shoeboys, porters, 
 About St. James's, cry, ' We courtiers!" 
 
 The struggle against the Dissenters was relieved by an 
 amusing incident. A certain Serjeant Bettesworth, one 
 of the leaders of the Irish bar, a member of parliament, 
 and an advocate for toleration, had happened lately to 
 talk of one of Swift's own friends, another barrister, 
 Serjeant Singleton, as " his brother Singleton." Swift 
 made use of the incident in the above poem as follows : 
 
 "Thus at the bar the booby Bettesworth, 
 Though half a crown o'erpays his sweat's worth. 
 Who knows in law nor text nor margent, 
 Calls Singleton his brother Sergeant." 
 
Conclusion. 317 
 
 Betteswortli, wild with rage, rushed to the deanery, 
 breathing the most horrible threats. He there learnt 
 that Swift was dining with Mr. Worrall, his vicar. He 
 followed him thither, and insisted on an interview. Swift 
 left the table and met him in a private room. " Dr. 
 Jonathan Swift, dean of St. Patrick's, I am Sergeant 
 Bet-tes-worth ! " he roared, in his most bullying tones. 
 " Sergeant ? " answered the dean, affecting utter igno- 
 rance of his visitor. " Of what regiment, pray ? " It was 
 a crushing hit, but the learned barrister recovered, 
 and demanded whether Swift was author of the poem 
 above mentioned. Swift refused to answer, and Bettes- 
 worth growing obstreperous, Mr. Worrall and the servants 
 turned him out of the house. Bettesworth still threatened 
 revenge, but the Dublin mob rallied like one man in 
 defence of their beloved Drapier. Thirty-one of Swift's 
 neighbours formed themselves into a regular bodyguard 
 for his protection. Bettesworth was pursued with lam- 
 poons ; and so great was the indignation against him, 
 that his practice at the bar actually fell off to the amount 
 of. £1,200 a year. 
 
 Bettesworth's discomfiture did not, however, check the 
 anti-clerical policy of the Irish parliament. Opposition 
 had long been made by the graziers to the tithe of 
 agistment or pasturage. Many landowners and members 
 of parliament were graziers on their own account. The 
 clerical claims were bitterly contested in the courts of 
 law, and at last, in 1737, the Irish House of Commons 
 passed a resolution against the tithe in question. This 
 event roused Swift's smouldering anger into a blaze. He 
 shook the dust from off his feet against the parliament of 
 College Green, and vented his rage against that body in 
 the most furious of all his poetical satires, " The Legion 
 Club." One trembles at the thought of a human soul 
 
3i8 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 which could feel and express such intensity of passion. 
 The following extracts will give some idea of this 
 satire : 
 
 " As I stroll the city oft I 
 See a building, large and lofty, 
 Not a bow-shot from the college,' ' 
 
 Half the globe from sense and knowledge. 
 
 Tell us what the pile contains ? 
 Many a head that holds no brains. 
 These demoniacs let me dub 
 With the name oi Legion club. 
 Such assemblies you might swear 
 Meet when butchers bait a bear : 
 Such a noise and such haranguing 
 When a brother thief is hanging. 
 
 Could I from the building's top 
 Hear the rattling thunder drop, 
 While the devil upon the roof 
 (If the devil be thunder-proof) 
 Should with poker fiery red 
 Crack the stones and melt the lead. 
 Drive them down on every skull, 
 When the den of thieves is full ; 
 Quite destroy that harpies' nest ; 
 How might then our isle be blest ! " 
 
 In language paralleled only by that of Dante in his 
 description of the Inferno, Swift figures to himself the 
 parliament hall turned into a madhouse, each member 
 having his allotted cell ; whence, rolling swine-like in filth, 
 he raves and curses at the passers-by. One by one Swift 
 makes the keeper describe the noisome, screaming 
 wretches : 
 
 ■ Trinity College, Dublin. 
 
Conclusion. 319 
 
 " Who is that hell-featured brawler ? 
 Is it Satan ? No ; 'tis Waller. 
 In what figure can a bard dress 
 Jack the grandson of Sir Hardress ? 
 Honest keeper, drive him further, 
 In his looks are hell and murther ; 
 See the scowling visage drop, 
 Just as when he murthered Throp.' 
 
 Keeper, yon old dotard smoke, 
 Sweetly snoring in his cloak : 
 Who is he ? 'Tis humdrum Wynne, 
 Half encompassed by his kin : 
 There observe the tribe of Bingham, 
 Yqx he never fails to bring 'em ; 
 While he sleeps the long debate, 
 They submissive round him wait ; 
 Yet would gladly see the hunks 
 In his grave and search his trunks : 
 See, they gently twitch his coat. 
 Just to yawn and give his vote, 
 Always firm in his vocation. 
 For the court against the nation." 
 
 So strong became Swift's overmastering rage while 
 employed in this composition, that he was compelled, 
 by a sudden attack of illness, to leave it unfinished. 
 With the writing of " The Legion Club " Swift's career 
 in Irish politics comes to an end. Starting under such 
 bright auspices it had ended in savagery and contempt. 
 His possible allies had been weighed in the balance and 
 found wanting, and Swift was left utterly alone. 
 
 " Better we all were in our graves 
 Than live in slavery to slaves," 
 
 ' The Rev. Roger Throp was a clergyman who, it was said, had 
 died of a broken heart, through being harassed with law-suits by 
 Colonel Waller. 
 
320 Dean Szvift and his Writings. 
 
 he had written in 1735, referring to the degradation of his 
 adopted country. On the lips of Fitzgerald or Robert 
 Emmett, these words would have meant much. But not 
 yet was to be the uprising of the true Irish nation. 
 Between them and Swift there was a great gulf fixed. 
 And he now enters upon the last period of his life in utter 
 hopelessness. 
 
 It is a relief to turn from the dark episodes, which 
 centre round the close of his political career, to the literary 
 work of these later years. His genius was still clear, 
 though its attention was devoted rather to the improve- 
 ment of old, than to the commencement of new essays. 
 The two chief works connected with this period are the 
 guide to " Polite Conversation " and the " Directions 
 to Servants." ^ They are both referred to in a letter 
 to Gay, dated August 27, 173 1. But the first of these 
 works would seem to have been begun many years before 
 this date; the materials for it having been best obtainable 
 during Swift's social career in London, from 1710 to 1713. 
 In his introduction to the former work Swift ironically 
 sets forth the care at which he has been to sum up in 
 this guide the " whole genius, humour, politeness, and 
 eloquence of England." Those, therefore, who wish to 
 achieve fame as great talkers, have only to learn his 
 guide by heart. 
 
 The " Polite Conversation " is the best instance of 
 Swift's extraordinary power of observation. No other 
 writer has ever reproduced with such exactness the 
 average conversation of the contemporary fashionable 
 
 ' The manuscript of the " Polite Conversation " was given by Swift 
 to his friend Mrs. Barber, with full leave to publish it for her own 
 benefit. The " Directions to Servants " only saw the light after 
 Swift's death. 
 
Conclusion. 321 
 
 world.' Its lack of imagination, the pert rudeness it 
 mistakes for wit, its incessant personality, all find their 
 place. The characters are such as Swift must have met 
 in many a drawing-room — Lord and Lady Smart, Lady 
 Answerall, Lord Sparkish, Colonel Atwit, and the incom- 
 parable pair. Miss Notable and Mr. Tom Neverout. The 
 scene, it should be remembered, takes place at Lady 
 Smart's, where the above go to a late breakfast. The 
 various bouts between Miss Notable and Tom Neverout 
 are superb in their exquisite pointlessness, e.g. : 
 
 Miss Notable [to Tom Neverout, who has just sneezed]. 
 God bless you ! if you ha'n't taken snuff. 
 
 Neverout. Why, what if I have, miss ? 
 
 Miss. Why, then, the deuce take you ! 
 
 Neverout. Miss, I want that diamond ring of yours. 
 
 Miss. Why, then, want's like to be your master. 
 
 Neverout [looking at the ring]. Ay, marry, this is not 
 only, but also ; where did you get it ? 
 
 Miss. Why, where 'twas to be had : where the devil 
 got the friar. 
 
 Neverout. Well, if I had such a fine diamond ring 
 I wouldn't stay a day in England ; but you know, far- 
 fetched and dear bought is fit for ladies. I warrant this 
 cost your father 25-d. 
 
 Tom Neverout. Here's poor miss has not a word to 
 
 throw at a dog. Come, a penny for your thought. 
 
 Miss Notable. It is not worth a farthing, for I was 
 thinking of you. 
 
 The speaker's whole character reveals itself in the use 
 
 ' An exception should be made, to the credit of our own day, for 
 Mr. Anstey's " Voces Populi." 
 
 22 
 
32 2 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 of such an obvious rejoinder. In tlie following instance 
 the gentleman comes off best. 
 
 Miss Notable. Pray, Mr. Neverout, what lady was that 
 you were talking with in the side-box last Tuesday ? 
 Tom Neverout. Miss, can you keep a secret ? 
 Miss Notable. Yes, I can. 
 Tom Neverout. Well, miss, and so can I ! 
 
 These gems of wit are, however, not confined to the 
 above two guests. 
 
 Sparkish. I wonder what makes these bells ring ? 
 Lady Answerall. Why, my lord, I suppose because 
 they pull the ropes. 
 
 [Here all laugh.] 
 
 But a collection of detached sayings gives a false idea 
 of the "Polite Conversation." That work is intended 
 to be an actual photograph of contemporary talk, not 
 an ideal picture. Its prevailing tone is thus a soul- 
 killing fatuity, to realise which a long extract therefrom 
 is needed. The reader will note the difference between 
 the following dialogue and that of Congreve, Goldsmith, 
 or Sheridan's plays. Which is likely to have been most 
 true to real life is a question the reader can at once solve 
 by his own observation. 
 
 From another point of view the " Polite Conversation " 
 has great value in showing that the tradition, as to the 
 superiority of eighteenth-century conversation to that 
 of our own day, is altogether erroneous.^ Even at a 
 
 ' Was the talk of even the wits of Swift's day as brilhant as is 
 supposed ? He himself says that " the worst conversation I ever 
 remember to have heard in my life was that at Wills' coffee-house, 
 where the wits (as they were called) used formerly to assemble." He 
 
Conclusion. 323 
 
 modern afternoon tea it would be difficult to equal the 
 colossal banality of the following. The company above 
 enumerated dine with Lady Smart at three in the after- 
 noon. 
 
 Sir John Linger, a Derbyshire squire, whose rusticity 
 is strongly though not unduly marked, joins the company 
 rather late. The dinner begins with oysters, after which 
 the guests set to work on a sirloin of beef, a tongue, 
 a shoulder of veal, and a black-pudding ; then comes 
 soup ; this is followed by hare, venison pasty, and a 
 ham ; some of the guests then try a little goose and 
 stuffing ; the sweets consist of jellies, almond pudding, 
 and fritters ; and the meal concludes with cheese and 
 dried sturgeon. 
 
 Conversation at dinner proceeds thus : 
 
 Smart. Oh, here comes the venison pasty ; here, take 
 the soup away. [He cuts it up and tastes the venison.] 
 'Sbuds ! this venison is musty. 
 
 Neverout eats a piece, and it burns his mouth. 
 
 Smart. What's the matter, Tom ? you have tears in 
 your eyes, I think. What dost cry for, man ? 
 
 Neverout. My lord, I was just thinking of my poor 
 grandmother; she died just this very day seven years. 
 Miss takes a piece, and burns her mouth. 
 
 Neverout. And pray, miss, why do you cry, too ? 
 
 Miss. Because you were not hang'd the day your 
 grandmother died. 
 
 Smart. I'd have given £40, miss, to have said that. 
 
 adds, as an explanation, that a man of wit is never easy but where 
 "he can be allowed to dictate and preside." See Swift's "Hints 
 towards an Essay on Conversation.'' It is to be presumed, however, 
 that this does not apply to the ordinary conversation between Swift 
 and his intimates in their private parties. 
 
324 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 Colonel. Egad ! I think the more I eat the hungrier 
 I am ! 
 
 Sparkish. Why, Colonel, they say one shoulder of 
 mutton drives down another. 
 
 Neverout. Egad ! if I were to fast for my life, I would 
 take a good breakfast in the morning, a good dinner at 
 noon, and a good supper at night. 
 
 Sparkish. My lord, this venison is plaguily peppered ; 
 your cook has a heavy hand. 
 
 Smart. My lord, I hope you are pepper-proof ; come, 
 here's a health to the founders. 
 
 Lady S. Ay, and to the confounders, too. 
 
 Smart. Lady Answerall, does your ladyship love 
 venison ? 
 
 Lady A. No, my lord, I can't endure it in my sight ; 
 therefore please to send me a good piece of meat and 
 crust. 
 
 Sparkish [drinks to Neverout]. Come, Tom ; not always 
 to my friends ; but once to you. 
 
 Neverout [drinks to Lady Smart]. Come, madam, here's 
 a health to our friends, and hang the rest of our kin. 
 
 Lady S. [to Lady A.]. Madam, will your ladyship 
 have any of this hare ? 
 
 Lady A. No, madam ; they say 'tis melancholy meat. 
 
 Lady S. Then, madam, shall I send you the brains ? 
 I beg your ladyship's pardon ; for they say 'tis not good 
 manners to offer brains. 
 
 Lady A. No, madam; for perhaps it will make us 
 hare-brained. 
 
 Neverout. Miss, I must tell you one thing. 
 
 Miss [with a glass in her hand]. Hold your tongue, 
 Mr. Neverout; don't speak in my tip. 
 
 Colonel. Well, he was an ingenious man that first found 
 out eating and drinking. 
 
Conclusion. 325 
 
 Sparkish. Of all victuals drink digests the quickest : 
 give me a glass of wine. 
 
 Neverout. My lord, your wine is too strong. 
 
 Smart. Ay, Tom, as much as you're too good. 
 
 Miss. This almond pudding was pure good, but it is 
 grown quite cold. 
 
 Neverout. So much the better, miss ; cold pudding will 
 settle your love. 
 
 Miss. Pray, Mr. Neverout, are you going to take a 
 voyage ? 
 
 Neverout. Why do you ask, miss ? 
 
 Miss. Because you have laid in so much beef. 
 
 -Sir J. You two have eat up the whole pudding 
 between you. 
 
 Miss. Sir John, here's a little bit left ; will you please 
 to have it ? 
 
 Sir jf. No, thankee ; I don't love to make a fool of my 
 mouth. 
 
 Colonel [calling to the butler] . John, is your small 
 beer good ? 
 
 Butler. And please your honour, my lord and lady 
 like it ; I think it is good. 
 
 Colonel. Why then, John, d'ye see, if you are sure 
 your small beer is good, d'ye mark? then, give me a glass 
 of wine. [All laugh.] 
 
 In the inner vagaries of servant-life. Swift always took 
 an extraordinary interest. =^ Illustration has already been 
 given of the fidelity with which he could reproduce the 
 phraseology of servants, in " Mrs. Harris's Petition," and 
 
 ' To his own servants Swift was an exacting, but very just master. 
 He kept them on board wages fixed at a generous rate, and encouraged 
 them to save. 
 
326 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 in "Mary the Cookmaid's complaint against Dr. Sheridan." 
 It remains to consider the " Directions to Servants," in 
 which servant life is treated in most elaborate detail. 
 Some critics have gone so far as to consider the " Direc- 
 tions to Servants" to be Swift's masterpiece. This is 
 rather an exaggeration ; but certain it is that in no other 
 work of his does Swift so well show his minuteness of 
 insight and genius for verisimilitude. Of one, it might 
 be said the distinguishing characteristic of the " Direc- 
 tions to Servants," it is impossible in these pages to give 
 an adequate idea. That fondness for dwelling on the 
 physically noisome side of human nature, which marks so 
 much of Swift's poetry, is especially prominent in the 
 " Directions to Servants ; " and the following illustrations 
 of that work are extracted from the midst of a mass of 
 crudities, with which none but special students of Swift's 
 character and writings need make any acquaintance. 
 
 The " Directions to Servants" is, from the point of view 
 of style, the most perfect instance of pure irony in all 
 Swift's writings. Assuming the character of an ex-foot- 
 man, Swift draws up a code of rules which will enable 
 servants to cheat, rob, deceive, and, in general, " get the 
 better of" the common enemy, i.e., their masters and 
 mistresses. 
 
 He begins with rules which apply to servants in general. 
 First of all, they must be true to one another, unless one 
 of them happens to be a tell-tale, in which case they must 
 do their utmost to achieve his or her immediate ruin. If 
 convicted of an omission, they must always have an excuse 
 ready. They should never stir a finger in any business, 
 save that for which they have been actually hired. They 
 must spend as much time out of the house as possible ; if 
 this be discovered, they or their fellows must have some lie 
 ready to explain their absence. They must on no account 
 
Conchtsion. 327 
 
 be afraid of breaking or wearing out their master's goods. 
 They must get drunk at every possible opportunity. They 
 must arrange matters so as to obtain as much as possible 
 out of visitors to the house in the way of "tips"; and 
 those who are ungenerous should be treated with insult 
 and neglect. 
 
 But it is in the directions to individual servants that the 
 extraordinary cleverness of the book is best displayed. 
 The knowledge of domestic life and the astounding gravity 
 of the tone are alike perfect. 
 
 The special directions to the butler run as follows : 
 
 " If a humble companion, a chaplain, a tutor, or a 
 dependent cousin, happen to be at table, whom you 
 find to be little regarded by the master and the company 
 (which nobody is readier to discover and observe than we 
 servants), it must be the business of you and the footman 
 to follow the example of your betters, by treating him 
 many degrees worse than any of the rest ; and you 
 cannot please your master better, or at least your 
 lady. 
 
 " If any one calls for small beer toward the end of 
 dinner, do not give yourself the pains of going down to the 
 cellar, but gather the droppings and leavings out of the 
 several cups and glasses, and salvers, into one ; but turn 
 your back to the company, for fear of being observed. On 
 the contrary, when any one calls for ale towards the end 
 of dinner, fill the largest tankard cup top-full, by which 
 you will have the greatest part left to oblige your fellow- 
 servants, without the sin of stealing from your master. 
 There is likewise a perquisite full as honest, by which you 
 have a chance of getting every day the best part of a 
 bottle of wine for yourself ; for you are to suppose that 
 gentlefolks will not care for the remainder of a bottle ; 
 therefore always set a fresh one before them after dinner, 
 
328 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 although there has not been above a glass drunk out of 
 the other. . . . 
 
 " If you are curious to taste some of your master's 
 choice bottles, empty as many of them just below the neck 
 as will make the quantity you want ; but then take care 
 to fill them up again with clean water, that you may not 
 lessen your master's liquor. . . . 
 
 " I now come to a most important part of your eco- 
 nomy, the bottling of a hogshead of wine, wherein I recom- 
 mend three virtues, cleanliness, frugality, and brotherly 
 love. Let your corks be of the longest kind you can get ; 
 which will save some wine in the neck of every bottle ; as 
 to your bottles, choose the smallest you can find, which 
 will increase the number of dozens, and please your 
 master ; for a bottle of wine is always a bottle of wine, 
 whether it hold more or less ; and if your master has his 
 proper number of dozens, he cannot complain. . . . 
 
 " In bottling wine, fill your mouth full of corks, together 
 with a large plug of tobacco, which will give to the wine 
 the true taste of the weed, so delightful to all good judges 
 in drinking. . . . 
 
 " Always lock up a cat in the closet where you keep 
 your china plates, for fear the mice may steal in and break 
 them." 
 
 Then come directions to the cook. 
 
 " When you roast a long joint of meat, be careful only 
 about the middle, and leave the two extreme parts raw, 
 which will serve another time, and will also save 
 firing. . . . 
 
 " Always keep a large fire in the kitchen when there is a 
 small dinner, or the family dines abroad, that the neigh- 
 bours, seeing the smoke, may commend your master's 
 housekeeping; but when much company is invited, then 
 be as sparing as possible of your coals, because a great 
 
Conclusion. 329 
 
 deal of the meat being half raw will be saved, and serve 
 next day. . . . 
 
 " If a lump of soot falls into the soup, and you cannot 
 conveniently get it out, stir it well, and it will give the 
 soup a high French taste. . . . 
 
 " Scrape the bottom of your pots and kettles with a 
 silver spoon, for fear of giving them a taste of copper. . . . 
 
 " Never make use of a spoon in anything that you can 
 do with your hands, for fear of wearing out your master's 
 plate. 
 
 " When you find that you cannot get dinner ready at 
 the time appointed, put the clock back, and then it may 
 be ready to a minute. . . ." 
 
 The " Directions to Servants " was intended to form an 
 elaborate scheme of misconduct for the whole household. 
 The work was never finished. But fragments of the latter 
 part which still remain are well worthy of the beginning. 
 The following is a direction to the children's maid : " If 
 a child be sick, give it whatever it wants to eat or drink, 
 although particularly forbid by the doctor ; for what we 
 long for in sickness will do us good ; and throw the physic 
 out of the window ; the child will love you the better ; 
 but bid it not tell." 
 
 From the year 1737 Swift's health began to grow rapidly 
 worse. Recent investigations have shown that his illness 
 was in no way akin to insanity. From his youth he had 
 suffered from a peculiar disease of the parts near the ear, 
 known technically as labyrinthine vertigo. Hence those 
 early attacks of giddiness and deafness, which he wi^ongly 
 attributed to over-indulgence in fruit and exposure to cold. 
 The increased severity of his distemper, as time went on, 
 engendered a belief that it would eventually prostrate him 
 before his life reached its allotted span ; and constant 
 
23'^ Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 brooding on this subject combined with senile decay and 
 sense of disappointment, to produce the gloom and irri- 
 tability of his later years."^ 
 
 Old age is to the misanthrope what winter is to the 
 poor — a time at which the evils incident to their condition 
 come upon them with an unexpected force. Swift had 
 exulted in his freedom^ from human sentiment and his 
 contempt for human weakness, so long as physical and 
 mental vigour allowed his genius to have full play. When 
 senility and disease began to check the exercise of his 
 powers, he at last realised his isolation. Though he would 
 have scorned the suggestion, what he now lacked was 
 that sympathy and kindliness which, coming from one's 
 fellows, brightens the declining years of ordinary men. 
 As early as i6gg he had drawn up a curious code for his 
 conduct " when he should come to be old." It points to a 
 fixed resolve to avoid the weaknesses natural to that state 
 of life. For instance : 
 
 " Not to scorn present ways, or wits, or fashions, or 
 men, or war. 
 
 " Not to be fond of children, or let them come near me 
 hardly.'^ 
 
 " Not to be covetous. 
 
 " Not to hearken to flatteries, nor conceive I can be 
 loved by a young woman ; et eos qui hoereditatem captant 
 odisse ac vitare. 
 
 "To conjure some good friends to inform me which of 
 
 ■ The reader is referred to Sir William Wilde's interesting book, 
 "The Closing Years of Dean Swift's Life" (Dublin, 1849). Swift's 
 disease is also the subject of an article by Dr. Bucknill, in the journal 
 Brain, for January, 1882. 
 
 " The words in italics were subsequently crossed out by a later 
 possessor of the manuscript. The reader will find a facsimile of these 
 rules as originally written, in Forster's " Life of Swift," p. 104. 
 
Conclusion. 331 
 
 these resolutions I break or neglect, and wherein, and 
 reform myself accordingly." 
 
 During the years 1738 and 1739 Swift continued to act 
 as if his powers were unimpaired. He kept up his old 
 erectness of bearing and arch severity of expression. But 
 the louring gloom of the brow, the savage curl of the 
 lip, and the heavy folds which gave a new coarseness to 
 the outline of the throat and chin showed the change 
 within. He refused to wear spectacles, by which he so 
 injured his eyesight that he was scarce able to read. In 
 spite of growing weakness, he took the most violent exer- 
 cise every day. He continued to give entertainments at 
 the deanery, but his parsimony had grown so keen that 
 he now chafed at the expense of a meal or a bottle of 
 wine. 
 
 He tried to retain his old circle of friends, though his 
 temper was now so uncertain that few but sycophants 
 could endure it for long.' One day Dr. Sheridan, who had 
 been compelled by money troubles to leave Dublin for 
 Cavan, ventured in obedience to an old request of Swift's 
 to remind the dean of his growing defects. The latter at 
 once turned upon him in a fury, and treated the honest 
 doctor with such insolence that the intimacy between the 
 two had to be broken off. Nor was Swift's loneliness 
 relieved by pleasing memories. More had indeed been 
 given to him than to others of his contemporaries ; 
 
 former acquired Swift's favour by humbly swallowing the dregs of a 
 bottle of wine, accompanied by the polite invitatiori, " I always keep 
 some poor devil of a parson to drink the foul wine for me." The 
 latter would seem to have been a worthy successor of Mistress Doll 
 Tearsheet. Her memoirs, however, contain much curious informa- 
 tion relative to the dean's social habits during his latter years. 
 
332 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 political success, literary triumphs, the homage of men, 
 and the love of women. But, in the view he had forced 
 himself to take of life, all these things were worthless. By 
 a strange irony, the logical result of his philosophy had 
 been to reduce him to the level of that Puritan barrenness 
 on which he had vented such bitter scorn. One sees in both 
 the same contempt for human learning and the same 
 derision for human sentiment ; the same fixed belief in 
 the hopeless depravity of man, and the same hatred of 
 those fair and tender graces which give this world all its 
 best beauty. At a time like this, one asks whether the 
 memory of that dearest friend of all brought not with it 
 some source of gentler feeling. After Swift's decease 
 there was found in his desk a packet containing one 
 of Stella's dark curling locks. It bore the superscrip- 
 tion : " Only a woman's hair." Was this callousness ? 
 Or was it suffering unspeakable, veiling itself under 
 the affectation of callousness ? It is almost a pre- 
 sumption to try to penetrate into the secrets of this 
 last solitude. Dark as was all reminiscence of the 
 past, the future was darker still. The enemy was ap- 
 proaching, silent, irresistible ; and Swift looked forward 
 in terror to the day when, his small remaining powers 
 completely gone, he would sink into a useless burden, 
 which escaped men's scorn solely because it moved their 
 pity. At times, it is said, he fell on his knees and prayed 
 despairingly that he might die before this worst state 
 came upon him. 
 
 One contemplates with respect and awe the miseries of 
 a decline, so stubborn and yet so disconsolate. 
 
 By the year 1740 Swift's memory had become so weak, 
 that it could only retain the contents of a letter for a few 
 hours after reading it. He could hardly recall any but 
 the closest friends. His deafness had increased. But he 
 
Conclusion. 333 
 
 still clung desperately to life. He continued to take an 
 interest in things, and to receive visits. In the May of 
 1740 he finished drawing up his third and final will. Ex- 
 cept for some trifl^ing legacies, his fortune, eventually 
 amounting to about ;£"ii,ooo, was left to form the basis of 
 a fund for building a public lunatic asylum in Dublin. 
 Up to January, 1741, he contiiiued to write short notes. 
 But from that date a change for the worse took place. 
 Paralysis of the facial muscles rendered articulation 
 almost impossible. He became subject to sudden fits of 
 anger. He no longer knew his friends, and the mere sight 
 of a human face would plunge him into a paroxysm of 
 fury. Mr. Deane Swift going to visit him, he pointed to 
 the door, saying " Go, go ! " but directly afterwards, he 
 raised his hand to his head and began to speak with the 
 
 words : " My best understanding " ; then, finding 
 
 himself unable to continue, he seemed to sink into a stolid 
 despair. He spent whole days walking up and down his 
 room like a caged apimal. He would never eat while any 
 one was present, and his food had to be left by his side to 
 remain, often, untouched for hours. His friends now fear- 
 ing that he might lay violent hands on himself, guardians 
 were, in March, 1742, appointed for him by the Court of 
 Chancery. During the October of that year an abscess 
 formed behind his left eyelid, the pain of which was so 
 frightful that it took the efforts of five men to keep him 
 from tearing out his eye. At last the swelling subsided, 
 and at the first reaction from torture his mind seemed to 
 recover itself. It is said that " he knew Mrs. Whiteway,^ 
 
 ■ Born Martha Swift, daughter of Adam Swift, one of the dean's 
 paternal uncles. She was married first to the Rev. Theophilus 
 Harrison ; on his death she espoused a Mr. Whiteway. Though a 
 relative, she was always a welcome guest at the deanery, where she 
 spent much time during Swift's last years. 
 
334 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 took her by the hand, and spoke to her with his former 
 kindness ; that day, and the following, he knew his 
 physician and surgeon, and all his family, and appeared 
 to have so far recovered his understanding and temper, 
 that the surgeon was not without hopes he might once 
 more enjoy society, and be amused with the company of 
 his friends." ' But this glimmer of sensibility was soon 
 followed by an apathy, from which he never roused him- 
 self. He was very quiet and gave his servants no trouble. 
 He knew no one ; but there was sometimes a faint sign 
 that his mind was not quite destroyed. When the light 
 of the bonfires with which the Dublin mob were cele- 
 brating his birthday on November 30, 1743, shone through 
 the deanery windows, he seemed to want to know what it 
 meant ; and on being told, said " 'Tis all folly; better let 
 it alone." On the Christmas Day of that year Mr. Deane 
 Swift came to dine with him. The housekeeper said, 
 " Won't you give Mr. Deane Swift a glass of wine " ; on 
 this, he shrugged his shoulders as had been his wont in 
 times past, when playfully remarking to a guest: "You 
 will ruin me in wine." He then tried to speak; and his 
 efforts being useless, he gave a heavy sigh. His visitor 
 could scarcely bear the scene. Some months later, in the 
 March of 1744, he marked his housekeeper removing a 
 knife out of his reach, and, rocking himself in his chair, 
 muttered several times : " I am what I am." He could 
 repeat his servants' names and would sometimes repri- 
 mand them for carelessness ; for once seeing one of them 
 trying to break a large coal on the hearth, he said : "That 
 is a stone, you blockhead." But from the beginning of 
 1745 he kept complete silence ; and appeared to be un- 
 conscious of what was going on around him. Strangers 
 
 ' So Delany. 
 
Conclusion. 335 
 
 sometimes came in a sort of frightened curiosity to gaze 
 at what had once been Jonathan Swift, but he took no 
 notice of them. 
 
 Suddenly, in the middle of October, 1745, he was seized 
 with a strong convulsive fit, which lasted for thirty-six 
 hours. On its leaving him, his strength was found to be 
 finally exhausted. He sank rapidly and died on October 
 ig, 1745. He was in the seventy-eighth year of his age. 
 
 At the time of his death Swift had not a single friend. 
 With the exception of Bolingbroke, he had outlived all his 
 literary and political associates.' His relatives he had 
 always regarded with indifference and contempt. His 
 later acquaintances had either dropped off or forgotten 
 him. But the news of his decease suddenly evoked a flood 
 of memories. Crowds flocked to have a view of the great 
 dean as he lay in the grim stillness of death. Men recalled 
 to one another instances of his tremendous sarcasm, of 
 his relentless denunciation of tyranny and wrong, of his 
 political triumphs, which, though marred by egoism, 
 bigotry, and vindictiveness, had been none the less 
 splendid, serviceable, and enduring. A public funeral 
 would have been only common justice. But in deference 
 to the stern injunctions found in his will, he was buried 
 on October 22nd, in his church of St. Patrick, at dead of 
 night ; in strict privacy, without pomp, trappings, or 
 invited throng of mourners. To his views of life, he was 
 faithful to the end ; and in the spirit of the proud Roman 
 requiem, 
 
 " Victrix causa deis placuit, sed victa Catoni." 
 
 Swift's epitaph exulted in his escape from the sight of 
 that human vice and folly which had ceased not to 
 
 ' Pope had died in 1744. Bolingbroke survived till 1751. 
 
336 Dean Swift and his Writings. 
 
 lacerate his heart, and dared mankind, if they could, to 
 imitate his struggles for the right. ^ 
 
 ' The following is the full text of Swift's epitaph : 
 
 HIC DEPOSITUM EST CORPUS 
 
 JONATHAN SWIFT, S.T.P. 
 
 HUJUS ECCLESI^ CATHEDRALIS 
 
 DECANI : 
 
 UBI S^VA INDIGNATIO 
 
 ULTERIUS COR LACERARE NEQUIT. 
 
 ABI VIATOR, 
 
 ET IMITARE, SI PO'PERIS, 
 
 STRENUUM PRO VIRILI LIBERTATIS VINDICEM. 
 
 OBIIT ANNO (174s) : 
 
 MENSIS (OCTOBRIS) DIE (19) 
 
 jETATIS ANNO (78). 
 
 This epitaph was drawn up by Swift during his last years of vigour. 
 In his will, dated May, 1740, he gives directions that the above words 
 are to be inscribed over his tomb on a black marble tablet, " in large 
 letters, deeply cut and strongly gilded." 
 
INDEX. 
 
 A. 
 
 Abercorn, Lord, 149 
 
 Abingdon, Lord, 141 
 
 Acheson, Sir Arthur, 261 
 
 Addison, Joseph, 52, 64, 67, 89, 90, 
 142, 193 
 
 Allen, Lord, 268 
 
 Anne, Queen of England, lo6, 124, 
 146, 174, 182 
 
 Anjou, Duke of, 1 1 1 
 
 Arbuthnot, Dr., 144, 146, 147, 228, 
 291 
 
 Argyle, Duke of, 184 
 
 Ashe, Dr., Bishop of Clogher, 220, 
 221 
 
 "Atalantis, The," 118 
 
 Atterbury, Francis, Bishop of Roches- 
 ter, 188 
 
 B. 
 
 Band-box plot, the, 119 
 
 Bentley, Dr. 19, 21 
 
 Berkeley, Countess of, 25, 26 
 
 Berkeley, Earl of, 24, 25 
 
 Berkeley, Lady Betty, afterwards 
 
 Lady Betty Germaine, 26, 27, 286 
 Berkeley, Monck, " Literary Relics " 
 
 quoted, 221 
 Bettesworth, Serjeant, 316, 317 
 " Bickerstaff, Isaac," 52, 53 
 Boulter, Dr. Hugh, Archbishop of 
 
 Armagh, 266 
 " Boyle's Meditations," 25 
 Boyle, the Hon. Charles, 19 
 Buckleberry, 137, 138 
 Burlington, Lady, 128 
 
 C. 
 
 Cadogan, General, 93 
 Carlyle, Thomas, quoted, 75 
 
 Carteret, Lord, 217, 256, 261 
 Charles XL, 2 
 Charles VL, 97, ill 
 Congreve, William, 12, 122, 228, 289 
 Court, the English, 145, 146 
 Craftsman, The, 268 
 Craik, Henry, "Life of Swift" re- 
 ferred to, 220 
 "Crisis, The," 171 
 
 Delany, Dr. Patrick, 220, 257 
 
 Dering, Sir Cholmley, 155 
 
 Derry, Deanery of, 25 
 
 Dinglcy, Mrs., 36, 69, 222, 223, 262 
 
 Dissenters in England, 56, 63, 64, 
 
 181 
 Dodington, 51 
 Dublin, S, 126, 249, 250, 256, 257, 
 
 317 
 
 Eric, Abigail, afterwards Mrs. Jona- 
 than Swift, mother of Dean Swift, 
 5, 8, 66 
 
 Eugene, Prince, 116, 140, 147 
 
 F. 
 
 Fenton, Mr., husband of Jane Swift, 
 
 66, 67 
 First-fruits of Irish Church, 47, 49, 
 
 67,73 
 
 FonteneUe, 18 
 
 Forster, John, "Life of Swift" re- 
 ferred to, 7, 220, 330 
 
 Freind, Dr., 144, 155 
 
 Gaultier, the Abbe, 97 
 Gay, John, 228, 284, 289 
 
 3 337 
 
338 
 
 Index. 
 
 George I., 174, 248 
 
 George II., 248 
 
 George, Prince of Denmark, husband 
 
 to Queen Anne, 64 
 Gery, Rev. Mr., Vicar of Letcombe, 
 
 Giffard, Lady, sister to Sir William 
 
 Temple, 3, 9, 12, 13, 22 
 Godolphin, Lord, 50, 68, 69, 72 
 Grattans, the, 257 
 Grub Street, 118, 119 
 Guardian, The, 125, 171 
 Guiscard, Marquis de, 98, 99, 149 
 
 H. 
 
 Halifax, Lord, 31, 34, 51, 65, 66, 70, 
 
 72 
 Hamilton, Duchess of, 157, 158 
 Hamilton, Duke of, 156, 157 
 Harcourt, Sir Simon, afterwards Lord, 
 
 50, 68, 71, 86, I S3 
 Harley, Lord, son of ensuing, 149, 
 
 150, 278 
 Harley, Robert, afterwards Earl of 
 Oxford, 50, 68, 70, 71, 72, 74, 78, 
 79, 86, 91, 92, 99, too, 122, 123, 
 124, 132, 168, 169, 173, 174, 17s, 
 
 177, 181, 182, 183, 1S7, 191, 227 
 Harrison, 151, 152, 153 
 
 Hart Hall, Oxford, 10 
 
 Helsham, Dr., 257, 289 
 
 Hill, Abigail, Mrs. Masham, after- 
 wards Lady Masham, 82, 94, 107, 
 115, 139, 140, 181, 278, 291 
 
 "History of the Maids of Honour," 
 146 
 
 Howard, Mrs., afterwards Lady Suf- 
 folk, 228 
 
 ' ' Hue and Cry after Dean Swift, " 
 
 178, 179 
 
 I. 
 
 " Importance of Dunkirk, The," 171 
 Ireland, oppression of the Catholics 
 
 in, 202 
 Ireland, character of the (Anglican) 
 
 bishops in, 314, 315 
 Ireland, the Established (Anglican) 
 
 Church in, 202, 312-316 
 Ireland, the Parliament of, 203, 205, 
 
 214, 215, 275, 314, 315, 317, 318, 
 
 319 
 
 Ireland, the Protestant Dissenters m, 
 46, SO, 316 
 
 Ireland, trade of, destroyed by Eng- 
 
 ■ land, 204, 205, 208 
 Ireland, social condition of, 201, 202, 
 206, 207, 267, 271, 272, 292, 293 
 
 J- 
 
 Johnson, Ann, sister to Esther John- 
 son, 9 
 
 Johnson, Esther, " Stella," 9, 10, 52, 
 53> 69, 159-162, 166, 193, 218-229, 
 249-254, 332 
 
 Johnson, Mrs., mother of Esther John- 
 son, 9 
 
 Johnson, Dr. Samuel, quoted, 145, 
 220 
 
 K. 
 
 Kendal, Duchess of, mistress of George 
 
 I., 209, 227 
 Kennet, Bishop, 129 
 Kilroot, 14, i6 
 King, Dr., Archbishop of Dublin, 166, 
 
 169, 188 
 
 L. 
 
 Laracor, 25, 28, 36, 66, 166 
 
 Leicester House, 228 
 
 " Letter^ of Phalaris, The," 19 
 
 Letter-writing, art of, in the last 
 century, 277, 278 
 
 Lewis, Erasmus, Lord Oxford's secre- 
 tary, 124, 139, 169, 188 
 
 Literary men under Queen Anne, 127, 
 128 
 
 " Little Language, The," 159, 160 
 
 Lloyd, Dr., 7, 88 
 
 Long, Anne, 136, 137 
 
 Louis XIV., 52, 68, 97 
 
 Lyon, Dr., 222 
 
 M. 
 
 Macartney, General, 93, 156, 157 
 Maintenon, Madame de, 102 
 Manley, Catherine, 118 
 Marlborough, Duchess of, 93, 94, 151 
 Marlborough, Duke of, 35, 82, 93, 94, 
 
 95, 106, 115, 116, 121 
 Marley Abbey, 196, 201 
 Marsh, Dr., Archbishop of Armagh, 
 
 51 
 Masham, Mr., afterwards Lord, 107, 
 
 123 
 Masham, Mrs., afterwards Lady, «« 
 
 Hill, Abigail 
 
Index. 
 
 339 
 
 Medina, Sir Solomon, 115 
 
 Milles, Dr., Bishop of Waterford, 49 
 
 Mohocks, the, 153, 154 
 
 Mohun, Lord, 156, 157 
 
 Monck Mason, quoted, 130, 220 
 
 Moor Park, i, 8, 9, 11, 21 
 
 N. 
 
 Newcastle, Duke of, 99, 149 
 Nottingham, Lord, 105, 106, 112, 125, 
 181 
 
 O. 
 
 October Club, the, 81 
 
 Orkney, Lady, 136, 158 
 
 Ormond, Duchess of, 28S 
 
 Ormond, Duke of, 68, 72, 116, 120, 
 140, 141, 183, 227 
 
 Orrery, Lord, " Remarks upon the 
 Lite and Writings of Dr. Jonathan 
 Swift," referred to, 220, 260 
 
 P. 
 Parnell, Thomas, 52 
 Partridge, John, 52, 53, 54 
 Party, Swift's views on, 33, 55 
 Patrick, Swift's servant, 67, 142, 143, 
 
 144 
 Pembroke, Lord, 46, 48, 51 
 Penn, William, 71, 140 
 Peterborough, Lord, 138, 177 
 Pilkington, Ltetitia, 331 
 Pilkington, the Rev. Matthew, 331 
 Poetry of Swift, characteristics, 294- 
 
 298 
 Pope, Alexander, 17, 130, 228, 278, 
 
 279, 281, 286, 287, 289, 291 
 Pretender, the, 34 
 Prior, Matthew, 72, loi, 228, 2S9 
 Pulteney, William, 283, 291 
 
 Q- 
 
 Queensberry, Duchess of, 228, 284, 
 
 290 
 Quilca, 224, 225 
 
 R. 
 
 Robinson, Dr. Thomas, Bishop o( 
 Bristol, loi 
 
 Sacheverell, Dr., 68, 120 
 
 St. John, Mrs., afterwards Lady 
 Bolingbroke, see Winchescombe, 
 Frances 
 
 St. John, Henry, afterwards Lord 
 Bolingbroke, 50, 68, 71, 74, 79, 80, 
 81, 86, 91, 92, 99, 117, 132, 133, 
 134, 152, 168, 175, 177, 181, 182, 
 183, 184, 186, 187, 190, 227, 278, 
 281, 283, 287, 288 
 
 St. Patrick's Cathedral, Dublin, 125, 
 165, 189, 262 
 
 Schutz, Hanoverian envoy, 174 
 
 Scott, Sir Walter, " Life of Swift " 
 referred to, 220, 223 
 
 Seymour, Lady Catherine, 150 
 
 Sheridan, Mrs., 261 
 
 Sheridan, Thomas, the elder, 224, 249, 
 257, 258, 260, 261 
 
 Sheridan, Thomas, the younger, " Life 
 of Swift " referred to, 220 
 
 Shrewsbury, Duke of, 106, 107, 117, 
 183 
 
 Shrewsbury, Duchess of, 147 
 
 Somers, Lord, 31, 34, 37, 184 
 
 Somerset, Duchess of, 106, 108, 
 114 
 
 Somerset, Duke of, 106, 107, 117 
 
 Sophia, Electress of Hanover, 174 
 
 Soutli, Dr., Bishop of Cork, 66 
 
 Southwell, Sir Robert, 10 
 
 Spanish Succession War, 48, 97 
 
 Stamp Duty on Newspapers, 118 
 
 Stanhope, Lord, 1S6, 187 
 
 Steele, Richard, 51, 89, 90, 122, 125, 
 126, 171, 172, 173 
 
 Stephen, Leslie, " Life of Swift" re- 
 ferred to, 220 
 
 Sterne, Dean, 67 
 
 " Stella," j«« Johnson, Esther 
 
 Sunderland, Charles, Third Earl of, 
 68, 193 
 
 Sunderland, Robert, Second Earl of, 
 17,18 
 
 Swift, Adam, uncle of Dean Swift, 
 
 333 
 
 Swift, Barnam, Lord Carlingford, an- 
 cestor of Dean Swift, 4 
 
 Swift, Deane, cousin of Dean Swift, 
 67 
 
 Swift, Deane, " Essay on the Life and 
 Writings of Dr. Jonathan Swift " re- 
 ferred to, 9 
 
 Swift, Godwin, uncle of Dean Swift, 
 5.8 
 
34° 
 
 Index. 
 
 Swift, Jane, sister of Dean Swift, 5, 
 66, 67, 262 
 
 Swift, Jonathan, the elder, father of 
 Dean Swift, 5 
 
 Swift, Jonathan, Dean of St. 
 Patrick's, life : Birth (November 
 30, 1667), 5 ; at Kilkenny School 
 (1673), 6 ; goes to Trinity College, 
 Dublin (i68i),.6; takes B.A. de- 
 gree (February, 1685), 6 ; goes to 
 Sir William Temple at Moor Park 
 (1689), 8; personal appearance, 3, 
 129, 331 ; goes to Oxford and be- 
 comes M.A. (1692), 10 ; ordained* 
 (October, 1694), 14 ; on Temple's 
 death becomes chaplain to Lord 
 Berkeley (1699), 24 ; receives living 
 of Laracor (February, 1700), 25 ; be- 
 comes Whig pamphleteer (1701), 31; 
 is made agent for the Irish Church 
 in the matter of the First-fruits, 
 47 ; occasional visits to England, 
 47, 65 ; becomes estranged from 
 the Whigs (July, 1709), 65; comes 
 to England (September, 1710), 68 ; 
 joins Tories, 75 ; is made Dean of 
 St. Patrick's (April, 1713), 125 ; re- 
 turns to Ireland (June, 1713), 126; 
 comes back to England (September, 
 1713), 169; departs again for Ire- 
 land (June, 1714), 188; begins to 
 take part in Irish politics (1720), 
 201 ; revisits England (1726), 228 ; 
 short return to Ireland (1726), 229 ; 
 last visit to England (April, 1727), 
 248 ; final settlement in Ireland 
 (October, 1727), 255 ; quarrels with 
 Irish parliament, 317 ; last illness 
 (1742-1745), 333-334; fleath (Oct. 
 19. 1745). 335 ; epitaph, 336 
 
 Swift, Jonathan, Dean of St. 
 Patrick's, works referred to : 
 "Address to Sir William Temple," 
 
 II 
 " Answer to the Craftsman,'' 269- 
 
 271 
 "Argument against the Abolition 
 
 of Christianity," 58-63 
 " Art of Punning, The," 258-259 
 •'Autobiography," 4-7, 24, 25 
 " Battle of the Books, The," 19-21 
 " Beasts' Confession, The," 304- 
 
 305 
 " Bon mots de Stella, 227 
 
 Swift, Jonathan (conlim(ect) — 
 " Cadenus and Vanessa," 194-195 
 " Character of the Second Solo- 
 mon," 261 
 " Character of Thomas, Earl of 
 
 Wharton," 87 
 " Conduct of the Allies," 109-112 
 " Considerations upon Two Bills 
 sent down from. the Lords," 315 
 " Curate's Complaint of Hard 
 
 Duty," 298 
 " Description of the Morning, A," 
 
 297 
 "Directions to Servants," 326- 
 
 329 
 " Dissensions in Athens and Rome, 
 
 The," 31-33 
 " Drapier's Letters, The," 210-217 
 Examiner, The, 75, 82-86, 88, 95, 
 
 95 
 " Fable of Midas, The," 116-117 
 " P'urniture of a Woman's Mind," 
 
 300 
 " Gulliver's Travels," 230-248 
 "Imitation of Horace's Epistles," 
 
 bk. I., Ep. vii., 305-307 
 " Importance of The Guardian, 
 
 The," 171-172 
 " Inquiry into the Behaviour of the 
 
 Queen's last Ministry," 78, 79 
 Intelligencer, The, 271-272 
 " Journal of a Modern Lady, The," 
 
 300-303 
 "Journal to Stella, The," 69-162 
 " Legion Club, The," 317-319 
 " Letler to a very Young Lady on 
 
 her Marriage," 263-266 
 "Mary the Cookmaid's Letter to 
 
 Dr. Sheridan," 259-260 
 " Meditation on a Broomstick, A," 
 
 25-26 
 " Memoir Relating to the Change 
 
 in Queen Anne's Ministry (of 
 
 1710)," 74-75 
 " Misfortunes of Quilca, The, ' 224- 
 
 225 
 " Modest Proposal for Preventing 
 
 the Children of Poor People in 
 
 Ireland from being a Burden to 
 
 their Parents," 273-275 
 " New Journey to Paris, A," 102- 
 
 104 
 " Ode on the Recovery of Sir 
 
 William Temple," 11, 12 
 
fndex. 
 
 341 
 
 wiFT, Jonathan {contimied) — 
 " On the Bill for the Clergy Re- 
 siding on their Livings," 315 
 " On the Death of Dr. Swift," 308- 
 
 3" 
 " On the Death of Mrs. Johnson," 
 
 ■250-253 
 " Parson's Case, The,'' 299 
 " Petition of Mrs. Harris," 27 
 " PoHte Conversation," 320-325 
 " Project for the Advancement of 
 
 Religion," 49-50 
 " Proposal for Improving the Eng- 
 lish language," 144, 145 
 " Proposal for the Universal use of 
 
 Irish Manufactures," 208 
 " Public Spirit of the Whigs, The," 
 
 172-173 
 " Resolutions when I come to be 
 
 old," 330 
 " Satirical Elegy on the Death of 
 the Duke of Marlborough, A," 
 303-304 
 " Sentiments of a Church of Eng- 
 land Man," 55-58 
 " Sid Ilamet's Rod," 72-73 
 " Some Reasons against the Bill 
 for Setthng the Tithe of Ilemp," 
 
 31.5 
 " Speech of a Famous Orator," 
 
 112-113 
 " Tale of a Tub, A," 37-46 
 " Vindication of Lord Carteret, A," 
 
 256 
 " Vindication of Mr. Bickerstaff 
 
 against John Partridge, A," 53- 
 
 55 
 "Windsor Prophecy, The," 114- 
 
 "5 
 Swift, Thomas, grandfather of Dean 
 
 Swift, 4 
 Swift, William, uncle of Dean Swift, 8 
 
 Taine, M., referred to, 230, 275 
 
 Tatlei-, The, 51 
 
 Temple, Jack, 129 ) 
 
 Temple, Lady, 8, 12/15 
 
 Temple, Sir Williarji, i, 2, 3, 8, II, 
 
 12, 13, 15, 18, 21, 92 
 Thornhill, Mr., 155 
 Tisdall, Dr.,35, 36, 37 
 Treaty of tftrecht, 117, 125, 170, 171 
 Triennial Act, 11 
 Trinity College, Dublin, 6, 7 
 
 V. 
 
 " Vanessa," see Vanhomrigh, Hester 
 Vanhomrigh, Hester, "Vanessa," 162, 
 
 163, 164, 167, 179, 180, 193-201 
 Vanhomrigh, Mary, 193, 194 
 Vanhomrigh, Mrs., 133, 162, 180 
 Villette, Marquise do, afterwards the 
 
 second Lady BolingbroUe, 288 
 
 W. 
 
 Walpole, Sir Robert, 106, 117, 186, 
 
 187, 228, 229, 248, 282 
 Waring, Jane, " Varina," 15, 28, 29, 
 
 30, 31 
 Wharton, Lord, 64, 87, 88 
 Whitehaven, 5 
 Whiteway, Martha, 333 
 Whitshed, Chief Justice of Ireland, 
 
 217 
 Wilde, .Sir William, referred to, 330 
 William III., 11, 24, 31, 34 
 Winder, the Rev. Mr., 14, 16 
 Winchescombe, Frances, afterwards 
 
 Mrs. St. John and Lady Boling- 
 
 broke, 134, 192, 288 
 "Wood's Halfpence," 208-213, 215- 
 
 218 
 Wood, WiUiam, 209, 210, 217, 218 
 Wotton, the Rev. William, 18, 21 
 Wyndham, Sir William, 121, 150, 181, 
 
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