«^^ii^AVl W'l r^O ^^^ y Cornell University Library PR 4884.D6 1854 The Dodd family abroad. 3 1924 013 516 293 Cornell University Library The original of tliis book is in tlie Cornell University Library. There are no known copyright restrictions in the United States on the use of the text. http://www.archive.org/details/cu31924013516293 THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAD. \...;: ^,»: U.J IL®Rlll>®li53 : THE DODD FAMILY ABROAD. CHARLES LETEE, ADTHOK OF "HARBT LOKKEQUEE," "THE KNIGHT OF GWTNNE," &C. &C. WITH ILLUSTRATIONS BY PHIZ. LONDON: CHAPMAN AND HALL, 193, PICCADILLY. MDOCCMV. SIR EDWAED LYHON BULWER lYTTON, BART., M.P. Mt bbae Sie Edwabb, "While asking you to accept the dedication of this volmne, I feel it would be something very nigh akin to the Bathos were I to say one word of Eulogy of those powers which the world has recog- nised in you. Let me, however, be permitted, ia common with thousands, to welcome the higher development which your G-enius is hourly attain- ing, to say God speed to the Author of "The Caxtons" and "My Novel," and cry " Hear !" to the Eloquent Orator, whose words have awakened an enthusiasm that shows Chivalry stiU lives amongst us. Believe me, in all admiration and esteem, Tour faithful friend, Chaei.es Leveh. Casa Capponi, Florence, March, 1854. "A WORD FROM THE EDITOR." The Editor of the Dodd Correspondence may possibly be expected to give the Public some information as to the manner by which these Letters came into his possession, and the reasons which led Mm to publish them. Happily he can do both without any breach of ho- nourable confidence. The circumstances were these : Mr. Dodd, on his returning to Ireland, passed through the little watering-place of Spezzia, where the Editor was then sojourning. They met accidentally, formed acquaintanceship, and then intimacy. Amongst the many topics of conversation between them, the Continent and its habits occupied a very wide space. Mr. D. had lived little abroad ; the Editor had passed half of a life there. Their views and judgment were, as might be surmised, not always alike ; and if novelty had occasionally misled one, time and habit had not less powerfully blunted the perceptions of the other. The old resident discovered, to his astonishment, that the very opinions which he smiled at from his friend, had been once his own ; that he had himself incurred some of the mistakes, and fallen into many of the blunders, which he now ridiculed, and that, so far from the Dodd Eamily being the excep- tion, they were in. reality no very unfair samples of a large class of our travelling countrymen. They had come abroad with crude and absurd notions of what awaited them on the Continent. They dreamed of economy, refinement, universal politeness, and a profound esteem for England from aU foreigners. They fancied that the advan- tages of foreign travel were to be obtained without cost or labour ; that locomotion could educate, sight-seeing cultivate them ; that in the capacity of British subjects every society should be open to them, and that, in fact, it was enough to emerge from home obscurity to be- come at once. recognised in the fashionable circles of any continental city. They not only entertained aU these notions, but they held them in defiance of most contradictory elements. They practised the most rigid economy when professing immense wealth ; they afiected to despise the foreigner while shunning their own countrymen; they assumed to be votaries of. art when merely running over galleries ; and lastly, while laying claim, and just claim, for their own country to the highest moral standard of Europe, they not unfrequently out- VIU " A IVOED FEOM THE BDITOE." raged all the proprieties of foreign life by an open and sliameless profligacy. It is difficult to imderstand how a mere change of locality can affect a man's notions of right and wrong, and how Cis-Alpiae evil may be Trails- Alpine good. It is very hard to believe that a few parallels of l?,t^t]id.e cai^ age,ot th@ moral th^js^ometer ; but so it is, and so Mr. Dodd honestly confessed he fbund it. He not only avowed that he could do abroad what he could not dare to do at home, but that, worse still, the infraction cost no sacrifice of self-esteem, no self- lepee^eh. It was not that these. 4eielietions were part ef the habits of foreign lifig, or at least of such of it as met the eye ; it was, in reality, because ha. had eome abroa(^ with hi» own pieconeejved ideas of a certain latitude in morals, and was reselv^ to ha?>e the benefit of it. Such iaconsisteney in theory, led, naturally, to absurdity in action, and John Bull becfkme, in consequence, a mark for every teait of eccentricity that satirists could describe, or caricaturists paint. The gradations of ranfc so rigidly- defined in England are less accu- rately marked out abroad. Society, like the &ee cxf the soil,, is not enclosed by boundaries and fenced by hedgerows^ but stretches away in boundless undulattons: of unlimited extent. The Englishman fancies there are no boundariea, because h& does not see the l^dr mark-S:. Siaee all seems open, he imagines there can be no trespass. Thia is a serious mistake ! Not less a one is, to connect title with ranis. He fancies that nobility represents abroad the same pieten- sioija which it maintains ia England, and indignantly revenges his own blijudeir by calumniatiag in common every fereigne?- of rank. Mr* Doi^ feUi into, some af these errors j from others, he escaped. Moat, mdeed, of his mistakes were those insepaa-able from a :^e position ; audi, from, the aoutenesa of his remarks in eonvecsatioB, it is clear, that he possessed fair powers of observation, and a mind well disposedj tp receive and setain the. truth. One quality cee- t^mlj his observations possesaedrr^they were "his own." They were neither worked out from the Guidie-book, nor- borrowed from hia Laqimis de Fiaoe,. They were the, honest cooaviotions of a good osdi- nary capacity, sharpened by the habits of ?m active life. It was with sincere pleasure the Editor received from him the fblowing note, which reached him about three weeks after, they parted : "Dodsboro^gh, BruQ'. ■'; Mt DEAB HabET L0BEE(jrBB, '< I have fished up all the Correspondence of the Dodd Eamiiy duriag pur ' Anmus'Mirabilis' abroad, and send it to you with this. You have done some queer pranks at Editorship befbre now, so what would you say to standing Sponsor to ua aU, foumdliaigs as we are ia the world •' A WOBD TBOM QCHE EDITOB." ix of letteip ? I l\ave a potion in my head that we warea't a bit more rjdicujpug than nine^enths of wr traveUing countrymen, and that, maybe, oiff Buigtakea mi misccujeeptjons might serve to warn such as may oome a,fter na over the same road. At all events, uge your own digpretion on the matter, bnt say nothing about it when you- write to me, as Mrs. D, reads all m_y letters, and if she knew we were going to print her, the oonsequences would be awful ! " Tou'U be glad to hear that we got safe back here— Tuesday was a week^^fonnd everything mneh as usual — farming stock looking up, pigs better than ever I knew them- I have managed to get James into the Police, and hi^ foreign airs and gracea are bringing him into the tip'top society of the county, Purcell tells me that we'll be driven to ^ell Dpdsbor 'and carefully perused the entire correspondence ; nor was it. until afteif a mature consideration that he determined on accepting the responsible post which Mr. Dodd had assigned to him. Hft who edits a Correspondence^ to a certain extent is assumed to be a concurring party, if not to the statements contained in it, at least to itg generai tone and direotion.. It is in vain for him to try ^n.d hide his own shadow behind the foreground figme of the picture, or merge his responsibility in that of his principal. The reader wUl hold him chargeable fi^opinioas, that he has made public, and for sen- timents which, but for Ms intervention, had slept within the drawer of a cabinet. This is- more particularly- the ease whfire, the sentimients recorded are not those of any great thinker or high authority amongst men whose dicta may be supposed, capable of standing the test of a controversy, on the mere strength of him who uttered them. Now, unhappily, the Dodd Family have not. as yet produced one of these gifted individuals. Their views ojf the- world, as they saw it in a foreign, tour, are those of persons of very moderate capacity, with X " A WOED TEOM THE EDITOE. very few special opporttinities for observation. They wrote in all the frankness of close friendship to those with whom they were most in- timately allied. They uttered candidly what they felt acutely. They chronicled their sorrows, their successes, their triumphs, and their shame. Ajad although experience did teach them something as they went, their errors tracked them to the last. It cannot be expected, then, that the Editor is prepared to back their opinions and uphold their notions, nor is he blameable for the judgments they have pronounced on many points. It is true, it was open to him to have retrenched this, and suppressed that. He might have cancelled a confession here, or blotted out an avowal there, but had he done so in one Letter, the allusion contained in some other might have been pointless — ^the dis- tinctive character of the writer lost ; and what is of more moment than either, a new di£B.culty engendered, viz., what to retain where there was so much to retrench. Besides this, Mrs. D. is occasionally wrong where K. I. is right, and it is only by contrasting the impres- sions, that the value of the judgments can be appreciated. It is not in our present age of high civilisation that an Editor need fear the charge of having divulged family secrets, or made the private history of domestic life a subject for pubUc commentary. Happily, we live in a period of enlightenment that can defy such petty slanders. Very high and titled individuals have shown themselves superior to simUar accusations, and if the " Dodds" can in anywise contribute to the amusement or instruction of the world, they may weU feel re- compensed for an exposure to which others have been subjected be- fore them. As in all cases of this kind, the Editor's share has been of the very lightest. It would not have become him to have added anything either of explanation or apology to the contents of these Letters. Even when a word or two might have served to correct a mistaken impression, he has preferred to leave the obvious task to the reader's judgment to obtrusively making himself the means of interpretation. In fact, he has had little to do beyond opening the door and announc- ing the company, and his functions cease when this duty is accom- plished. It would be alike ungracious and ungrateful in him, how- ever, were he to retire without again thanking those kind and indul- gent friends who have so long and so warmly welcomed him. "WithjLO higher ambition in life than to be the servant of that same Public, nor any more ardent desire than to merit well at their hands, he writes himself, as he has so often had occasion to do before, but at no time more sincerely than now. Their very devoted and faithful servant, THE EDITOE. CONTENTS. LETTER I. PAGE To Mb. Thomas Ptjbcell, OP THE Grange, Bfiurr 1 LETTER n. Mes. Dodd to Misteess Mauy Gailaghee, at Dodsbobotigh 4 LETTER in. Miss Dodd to Miss DooLAisr, or Balltdoolan 8 LETTER IV. James Dodd to Robert Dooian, Esquiee, Tbinitt Couiegb, Dubun ... 14 LETTER V. Kenny Dodd to Thomas Puecell, Esq 22 LETTER TE. Maby AuNE Dodd to Mrss DooLAN, oe Ballydoolan 33 LETTER Vn. Mes. Dodd to Misteess Maey Gallagher, Dodsboeoitgh 41 LETTER Tin. Betty Cobb to Mes. Shusan O'Shea, Pebest's House, Beute 48 LETTER IX. Kenny Dodd to Thomas Purcell, Esq 50 LETTER X. Caroline Dodd to Miss Cox, at Miss Mincing's Academy, Black Rock, Ireland 65 LETTER XI. Mr. Dodd to Thomas Ptjecell, Esq., of the Grange, BRurE 71 LETTER Xn. Mes. Dodd to Mistress Maey Gallagher, DoDSBOEOUGH 87 XU CONTENTS. LBTTBB, Xm. PAGE Pbom K. I. DoBD TO Thomas Pubcell, Esq., ob the Graugb, Bbuct 97 LETTER XIV. * James Dodd to Kobebt Doolan, Esq., Trinity Colkege, Dubun 110 LETTER XT, Miss Dodd to Miss Doolan, op BAiiYDOOLiN 118 LETTER XVI. Kenny I. Dodd to Thomas Pubceix, Esq., oe the Gbange, Bktjef 129 LETTER XVn. Mbs. Dodd to MJrsTKESs Maet Gatlagheb, DoDSBOBOTJGH 141 LETTER xvnr. Maey Ajjne Dodd TO Miss Doolan, oe Ballydoolan 150 LETTER XIX. Betty Cobb to Mes. Shusan O'Shba, Peiest's House, Bbtiit 161 LETTER XX. James Dodd to Robebt Doolan, Esq., Teinity College, Dublin 165 LETTER XXI. Mbs. Dodd TO MJSTBEss Maby Gailaghee 178 LETTER XXn. Kenny Dodd to Thomas Puecbll, Esq., oe the Gbange, Beuep 193 LETTER XXm. Mes. Dodd to Mistbess Maby Gallagheb, Dodsbobotjgh 213 LETTER XXIV. James Dodd to Robeet Doolan, Esq., Teinity College, Dublin 222 LETTER XXV. Kenny Dodd to Thomas Puecell, Esq., op the Gbange, Bettpf.. LETTER XXVI. Mes. Dodd to Me. Puecell, op the Gbange, Beupf 245 LETTER XXVn. Mes. Dodd to Mb&, Maey Gallagher, Housekeepeb, Doi>8saiiauGH 247 LETTER XXVni. James Dodd TO Robert Doolan, Esq., Teinity CoiLEGEj Dublin 257 CONTENTS. xm LETTER XXrX, PAGE Cakoldo) Dodd to Miss Go3» at Miss Mencik&'s Aoadbmt, Black, Rock, Ibblanb 277 LETTER XXX. Ma-rt Aotte Dodd to Miss Doolaij, or BALLYD00i,Aisr 282 LETTER XXXI. Maey AitM Dodd to Miss DooLAu, op Baixtdoolan 389 LETTER XXXn, Jambs Dodd to Robert Doolaii, Esq., Trinity College, Dublin 296 LETTER XXXm, KErorr James Dodd to Me. Pubcell, op the Gbange, Bbufe 310 LETTER XXXIV. Mart Anne Dodd to Miss Doolan, op Balltdoolan .'. 319 LETTER XXXrV. Kenny James Dodd to Thomas Pobcbll,, Esq., op the Grange, Beuee... 331 LETTER XXXV. Mary AiiNE Dodd TO Miss DooLAjT, ob Baii^joolan 326 LETTER XXXVl. Mes. Dodd TO Mes. Mary Gaxlasheb, DcoJSBOROTJGH 330 LETTER XXXVil. Kenny James Dodd to Thomas PoBCfflE, BsQ., opthe Gbange, Bettff... 344 LETTER XXXVm. Kenny James Dodd to Thomas fvAcat, lia^, opthe Gbange, Beupf... 363 LETTER XXXIX. Betty Cobb to Mbs. Shusan O'SSea, Bkiest's House, Beupp , 356 LETTER XL. Kenny I. Dodd to Thomas Puecell, Esq., op She Gbange, Beupp 361 LETTER XLL Mary Anne Dodd to Miss Doolan^ op BAij.TDOOLAN.....r «. 380 LETTER XLH. Mary Anne Dodd to Miss Doolan, op BALXYDoOLAjf .-«... ......v.,,.,,,./,,^.. ggg XIV CONTENTS. LETTER XLm. pa^e Kenny Jambs Dobb to Thomas Pubcbll, Esq., op the Grange, 'Bnvw— 394 - LETTER XLTV. James Dodd to Robebt Dooian, Esq., Tmnity Coleege, Dubun 401 LETTER XLV. Caeoline Dodd to Miss Cox, at Miss Mincing's Academy, Black Rock, Ikeland 405 LETTER XL VI. Mes. Dodd TO Mks. Maby Gailagheb, DoDSBOEOHGH 413 LETTER XLVn. Kenny James Dodd to Thomas Pubceli,, Esq., op the Geange, Beitit... 417 LETTER XLVin. Maey A2JNE Dodd to Miss Doolan, op Ballydoolan 435 LETTER XLIX. Mes. Dodd to Mrs. Maey Gajjjlgheb, Priest's House, Beotp 442 LETTER L. James Dodd to Loed Geoege Tivbeton, M.P., Poste Rbstantb, Beegenz 449 LETTER LL Maey Anne Dodd to Thomas PuECBii, Esq., op the Geange, Bbupp ... 459 LETTER LH. Mes. Dodd to Mes. Maby Gallagheb, DoDSBOEOHGH .-. 461 . LETTER Lm. Maey Anne Dodd to Miss Doolan, op Bailydoolan 464 LETTER LIV. Kenny Jamjis Dodd to Thomas Phecell, Esq., op the Grange, Beupf... 469 LETTER LV. Kenny James Dodd to Thomas Pubcell, Esq., op the Geange,|Bbotf... 481 LETTER LYI. James Dodd to Loed George Tiverton, M.P 497 LETTER LVn. Mrs. Dodd TO Mrs. Maey GAiiAGHER, DoDSBOROUGH 498 LETTER LVHL Maey Anne Dodd to Miss Doolan, of BAiLYDOOLAN 509 CONTENTS. XV LETTER LIS. page Kennt James Dodd to Thomas Pueceil, Esq., op the GBAifGE,'.BaTJTE... 513 LETTER LX. Masy Anne Dodd to Miss Doolan, or BAiiTDOOLAN 520 LETTER LXI. Mbs. Dodd TO Mrs. Mart GailagheBj DoDSBOKouGH 538 LETTER LXn. Beity Cobb to Misteess Shusan O'Shea 531 LETTER LSm. James Dodd to Robeet Dooi-an, Esq., Teinitt Coluegb, Dublin ......... 533 LETTER LXrV. Mrs. Dodd to Mrs. Mary Gallagher 537 LETTER LXV. Gaeomne Dodd to Miss Cox, at Miss Mincing's Academy, Black Rock, Ireland 545 LETTER LXVI. Maey Anne Dodd to Miss Doolan, oe Ballydoolan 551 LETTER LXYn. James Dodd to Robert Doolan, Esq., Trinity College, Dublin 557 LETTER LXVin. Kenny Dodd to Thomas Puecell, Esq., Grange, Beuee 562 LETTER LXIX. Mrs. Dodd to Mrs. Gallagher, Dodsboeough 577 LETTER LXX. James Dodd to Robert Doolan,' Esq., Trinity College, Dublin 581 LETTER LXXI. Maey Anne Dodd to Miss Doolan, or Ballydoolan 592 LETTER LXXn. Kenny Jajies Dodd to Thomas Puecell, Esq., oe the Grange, Bruit... 600 LETTER LXXm. Caeoiine Dodd to Miss Cox, at Miss Mincing's Academy, Black Rock, Ireland 611 LETTER LXXIV. Kenny James Dodd to Thomas Puecell, Esq., of the Grange, Brupp ...616 LIST OP PLATES. PkONTISPIECE — ^VlGiraTTE TlTlE, _ PAGE Paddy Bybne DISPLAYS HIS KSowi^GE OP HoSsEHuESH 12 TKfcNEvDSSSS 42 Genbbai Count de Vandebdemt stoppe-d bt a Baiibicade 45 A Bacchante 49 Mil. D. DOING WHAT HE Hlil) BEiTES HATO LEfE tJSD&SS S2! ANoTB TOO High it..i.i. murfiv^.. 89 Mrs. Dodd's Tasteb 99 A SAesftgGiotfs MetfSTiffi , 122 Im PoltcE 6p A¥*KAC¥i6N 134 A"Ebtob.t" UN-ComiTEOirs ....rti..,...,..-*.^/!..... 148 K. D. -vnii BE A Maniac 166 Mbs. D. Bo*A8rMli& 183 K. D. getting ovek the Ground .j..»....<.v.nr«.i 200 K. D. ENJOYS Existence as Lord Sajivet Beooke .■ 207 K. T. PTJSS Htg fotff Sf EF gSO Me. Dodd on the Defensive. vm»..«..,...„,„.,.^,., 231 Jambs Dodd breaks the Bank 262 dokettp >.. 26s Universal Smasheey ,.., ,.,„,. .,„t, 300 Dodd peee, Mabius-like, sitting amidst the IIuins 301 ThS Proposal , , S26 The Arrival AT the Schloss <»■•« ,.,„.,.. 340 Taddy 377 MaAy ASNEDOBBloMtSSltodLiS §8l Mademoiselle Dodd's " Charmbjg STUBy" <...■ 386 Maby Anne "detrop" 388 KatheS CtJMlScf 446 AEix „.. ,,, 448 Dodd, Jun. (following the fashion) plays a Solo on his own Teumpet 450 AfimttttsYmtm 4g3 Keep 'em Going, or We'll bb Sph/t i „..„„ 501 The EiBST Gigas, 511 The fiL&MMAGftl'toOfeAfld g^ T?ai! VlKfilN Of OSAftO SNEISZIJTH 636 The Mabiybs! 555 K. I. enveloped in Mitslin 568 Maut Asm ASRjSfsawe tift Dtoetas g§6 The "Plant" inspected... 617 THE DODD FAMILY ABROAD. LETTEE I. TO MR. THOMAS PUBCBLL, OF THE GKANGE, BKUFF. Hotel de Bain, Ostende. Deab Tom, Heee we are at last — as tired and sea-sick a party as ever landed on the same shore ! Twenty-eight hours of it, from the St. Katharine Docks — six of them bobbing opposite Margate in a fog — ringing a big bell all the time, and firing minute-guns, lest some thumping Indiaman or a homeward-bound Peninsular should run into us ; and five more sail- ing up and down before Ostend, till it was safe to cross the bar, and enter the blackguard little harbour. The Phanix — that was our boat — started the night before the Faul Jones mail-packet, and we only beat her by a neck after all ! And this was a piece of Mrs. Dodd's economy : the Phaniat only charges " Ten and sis" for the first cabin ; but, what with the board for a day and a night — boats tO' fetch you out, and boats to fetch you in — brandy-and-water against the sickness, much good it was ! soda-water, stewards, and the devil knows what of broken crockery — James fell into the " Cuddy," I think they call it, and smashed two dozen and three wine-glasses, the most of a blue tearservice, and a big tureen — the economy turned out a " delusion and a snare," as they say in the House. It's over now, thank God ! and except some bruises against the bulkheads and a touch of a jaundice, I'm nothing the worse. "We landed at night, and were marched off in a gang to the Custom House. Such a time I never spent before ! for when they upset aU our things on the floor, there was no getting them into the trunks again ; and so we made our way through the streets, with shawls, and muffs, and silk dresses all round us, like a set of play-actors. As for me, I car- B 2 THE DODD rAMILT ABEOAB. lied a turban in one hand, and a tray of artificial flowers in the other, ■with a toque on my head and a hird-of-paradise feather in my mouth. James fell, crossing the plank, with three bran new frocks and a bonnet of the girls, and a thing Mrs. D. calls a " visite" — egad, they ■ made a visite of it, sure enough, and are likely to stay some time there, for they are under some five feet of black mud, that has lain there since before the memory of man. This wasn't the worst of it ; for Mra. D., not seeing very wefl in the dark, gave one of the passport people a box on the ear that she meant for poor Paddy, and we were hauled up before the police, and made pay thirty francs for " insulting the Authorities," with somethiug written on our passport besides, describing my wife as a dangerous kind of woman, that ought to be looked after. Poor Mathews had a funny song, that ran — " If ever you travel, it mustn't seem queer Ttiat you sometimes get rubs that you never get here." But, faitli, it appears to me that we have fallen in with a most uncommon allowance of friction. Perhaps it's all for the best, and by a little roughing at first, we'E the sooner accustom, ourselves to our new position. Tou know that I never thought much of this notion of coming abroad, but Mrs. D. was full of it, and gave me neither peace nor ease till I consented. To be sure, if it only realises the half of what she says, it's a good speculation — great economy — tip-top education for Tom and, the girls — elegant society without expense — fine climate — and wine for the price of the bottles. I'm. sorry to leave Dods- borough. I got into a way ef living there that suited me ; and even in the few days I spent in London, I was missing my morning's walk round the big turnip-field, and my little gossip with Joe Moone. Poor Joe ! don't let him want whUe I'm away, and be sure to give him his. turf off our own bog.. We won't be able to drain the Lough meadows this year, for we'll want every sixpence we can lay our hands on, for the start, Mrs. D. says, " 'Tis the way you begin abroad decides everything ;" and, faith, our opening up to this has not been too prosperous. I thought we'd have gotplenty of letters of recommendation for the Continent while we were in London ; but it is downright impos- sible to see people there. Vickers, our member, was never at home, and LordPummistone — I might besiegei Downing-street from morning till night, and never get a sight of him I I wrote as many as twenty letters, and it was only when I bethought me of saying that the Whigs never did anything except for people of the Grey, Elliott or Dundaa family, that he sent me five lines, with a kind of introduction THE BODD TAMILT ABHOAD. 3 to any of the Envoys or Plenipotentiaries I might meet abroad — a roTing commission after a dinner — sorrow more or less ! I beUeve, however, that this is of no consequence : at least, a most agreeable man, one Krauth, the Sub-Consul at Mcelendrach, somewhere in Holland, and who came over in the same packet with us, teUa me that people of condition, like us, find their place in the genteel society abroad as naturally as a man with moustaches goes to Leicester-square. That seems a comfort, for, between me and you, the fighting and scrambling that goes on at home about who we'U have, and who'll have im, makes life little better than an Election shindy ! K. is a mighty nice man, and full of information. He appears to be rich, too, for Tom saw as many as thirteen gold watches in hia room ; and he has chains, and pins, and brooches, without end. He was trying to persuade us to spend the winter at Mcelendrach, where, besides a heavenly climate, there are such beautiful walks on the dykes, and elegant society ! Mrs. D. doesn't like it, however, for though we've been looking all the morn- ing, we can't find the place on the map, but that doesn't signify much ; since even our Post town of KeUyunaignabacklish is put down in the " Gazetteer" " a small village on the road to Bruff," and no mention whatever of the Police station, nor Hannagia's school, nor the Pound. That's the way the blackguards make books now-ardays! Mary Anne is all for Brussels, and, afterwards, Germany and the Rhine, but we can fix upon nothing yet. Send me the letter of credit on Brussels in any case, for we'U stay there, to look about us, a few weeks. If the two town-lands cannot be kept out of the "Encumbered Estates," there's no help for it ; but sure any of our friends would bid a trifle, and not see them knocked down at seven or eight years' purchase. If TuUylioknaslatterley was drained, and the stones ofi' it, and a good top dressing, of lime for two years, you'd see as fine a crop of oats there as ever you'd wish ; and there hasn't been an " outrage," as they call it, on the same land since they shot M'Shea, last September ; and when you consider the times, and the way winter set in early, this year, 'tis saying a good deali I wish Prince Albert would take some of these farms, as they said he would. Uever mind enclosing the town parks, we can't afibrd it just now ; but mind that you look after the preserves. If there's a cock shot in the Boundary-wood, I'll turn out every mother's son of the barony. I was going to tell you about Mck Mahon's holding, but it's gone dean out of my head, for I was called away to the Police-offic© to bail out Paddy Byrne, the dirty little spaipeen j I wish. I never took him from Lome. He saw a man mamiiing off with a yeUow valise — this is his story — and thinking it was mine, he gave him chase ; he b2 4 THE BODD FAMIir ABROAD, doubled and turned — ^now, under an omnibus, now, through a dark passage — till Paddy overtook him at last, and gave him a clippeen on the left ear, and a neat touch of the foot that sent him sprawling. This done, Pat shouldered the spoils, and made for the Inn ; but what dy'e think ? It turned out to be another man's trunk, and Paddy was taken up for the robbery ; and what with the swearmg of the Police, Pat's yells, and Mrs. D.'s French, I have passed such a half-hour, as I hope never to see again. Two "Naps." settled it all, however, and five francs to the Brigadier— as well-dressed a chap as the Commander of the Forces at home — ^but foreigners, it seems, are the devil for bribery. "Wlien I told Pat I'd stop it out of his wages, he was for rushing out, and taking what he called the worth of his money out of the blackguard ; so that I had to lock him into my room, and there he is now, crying and screeching like mad. This will be my excuse for anything I may make in way of mistakes ; for, to say truth, my head is fairly moidored! As it is, we've lost a trunk ; and when Mrs. D. discovers that it was the one containing aU her new silk dresses, and a famous red velvet, that was to take the shine out of the Tuileries, we'U have the devil to pay ! She's in a blessed humour besides, for she says she saw the Brigadier" wink at Mary Anne ; and that it was a good kicking he deserved, instead of a five-franc piece : and now she's turning on me in the vernacular, in which, I regret to say, her fiuency has no impedi- ment. I must now conclude, my dear Tom, for it is quite beyond me to remember more than that I am, as ever, Tour sincere friend, EJENNT I. DODD. Betty Cobb insists upon being sent home ; this is more of it ! The journey will cost a ten-pound note, if Mrs. D. can't succeed in turn- ing her ofi" of it. I'm afraid the economy, at least, begins badly. LBTTBE II. MKS. DODD TO MISTKEBS MART OALLAOHEB, AX DODSBOROVOH. ^ ,, HStel of the Baths, Ostende. Deae Mollt, This is the first blessed moment of quiet I've had since I quitted home ; and even now there's the table d'h6te of sixty-two in the next room, and a brass band in the lobby, with, to be sure, the noisiest set of wretches as waiters ever I heard, shouting, screaming, knife- THE DODD FAMILY ABBOAB. 5 jingling, plate-crasliing, and cork-drawing — till my head is fairly turned with the turmoil. The expense is cruel besides — eighteen francs a day for the rooms, although James sleeps in the "^alon;" and if you saw the bed — ^his father swears it was a mignionette-box in one of the windows ! The eating is beautiful ; that must be allowed. Two soups, three fishes, five roast chickens, and a piece of veal, stewed with cherries ; a dish of chops with chickory, and a meat-pie garnished with cockscombs — you may be sure I didn't touch them — after them there was a carp, with treacle, and a big plate of larks and robins, with eggs of the same, all round. Then came the heavy eating : a roast joint of beef, with a batter-pudding, and a turkey stufied with chestnuts ; ducks ditto, with olives and onions, and a mushroom-tart, made of grated chickens and other condiments. As for the sweets, I don't remember the half of them, nor do I like to try ; for poor dear James got a kind of surfeit, and was obliged to go to bed and have a doctor — a complaint, they tell me, mighty common amongst the English on first coming abroad. He was a nice man, and only charged five francs. I wish you'd tell Peter Belton that ; for though we subscribe a pound a year to the Dispensary, Mr. Peter thinks to get six shillings a visit every time he comes over to Dods- borough — a pleasant ride of eleven mUes — and sure of something to eat besides ; and now that I think of it, Molly, 'tis what's called the learned profession in Ireland is eating us all up. The Attorneys, the Doctors, the Parsons — look at them abroad. Mr. Krauth, a remarkable nice man, and a Consul, told me last night, that for two- and-sixpence of our money you'd have the best advice, law or medical, the Continent afibrds, and even that same is a comfort ! The table d'h6te is not without some drawbacks, however, my dear Molly, for only yesterday I caught an officer, the Brigadier of the Gendarmerie, they call him, throwing sly glances at Mary Anne across the table. I mentioned it to K. I., but like aU fathers that were a little free and easy when young, he said, " Pooh ! nonsense, dear. 'Tis the way of foreigners ; you'll get used to it at last." "We dined to- day in our own room ; and just to pimish us, as I suppose, they gave us a scrag of mutton, and two blue-legged chickens ; and by the Bill before me — ^for I have it made up every day — I see " diner particulier" put down five francs a head, and the table d'hote is for, two ! K. I. was in a blessed passion, and cursed my infernal prudery, as he called it. To be sure, I didn't know it was to cost us a matter of fifteen francs. And now he's gone off to the cg|f^, a,»d |^ary Anne is erying in her own room, whUe Caroline is nijrsjng James ; fbr, to tell you the truth, Betty Cobb is no earthly use to us, and as for Paddy 6 THE BOBD FAMILY ABEOAD, Byrne, 'tia bailing him out of the iPoHoe-office and paying fines for him we are, aU. day. We'll scarcely save much this first quarter, for -what with travel- ling expenses and the loss of my trunk — I believe I told you that some villain carried away the yellow valise, with the bla«^ satin iammed with blonde, and the peach-coloured " gros de Naples," and my two elegant baU-dresses, one covered with xeal Limerick lace — these losses, and the little contingencies of the road, wiU run away with most of our economies ; but if we live we learn, and we'll do better afterwards. I never expected it would be all pure gain, MoHy ; but isn't it worth fiom^hing to see life — to get one's chiTdren the polish and refinement of the Continent — to teach them foragn tongfues with the real accent — to mis in the very highest circles, and learn all the ways of people of fashion ? Besides, Dodeborough was dreadful ; K. I. was BettUng down to a common farmer, and in a year or two more, would never have asked any fairer company than PnrceU and rather Maher; as for James, he was always out with the grey- hounds, or shooting, or something of the kind ; and lastly, you saw vourself what was going on between Peter Belton and Mary Anne 1 . . She might have had the pride and decency to look Mgher than a Disp^sary doctor. I told her that her mother's family-was McCarthy's, and, indeed, it was nothing but the bad times ever made me think of Kamy Dodd. Not that I don't think well of poor Peter, but sure it's hard to dress well, and keep three horses, and make a decent appearance, on less than eighty pounds a year — not to talk of a wife at aU ! I hope you'll get Christy into the Police — ^they are just ^Jie same as the Hussars, and not so costly. Be sure that you send off the two trunks to Ostend with the first sailing-vessel from Limeriek ; they'll only cost one-and-fourpenee a cubic foot, whatever that is, and I believe they'll come just as speedy as by steam. I'm sorry for poor Nancy Doran ; she'll be a loss to us in the dairy; but maybe she'll recover yet. How can yoii explain Brindled Judy not being in calf? I can scarce believe it yet. If it be true, however, you must sell her at the spring fair. Pather Maher had a conceit out of her. Tiy if he is disposed to give ten pounds, or guineas— guineas if you can, Molly. There's no curing that rash in Caroline's face, and it's maJdng her miserable. I've lost Peter's receipt ; and it was the only thing stopped the itching. Try and get a copy of it from him ; but say it's for Betty Cobb. THE DODB TAMILT ABSOAS. 7 I was interrupted^ my dear Molly, by a visit from a young gentle- man whose visiting card bears the name of Victorde Lancy, come to ask after James — a very nice piece of attention, considering that he only met us once at the table d'hote. He and Mary Anne talked a great deal together ; for, as he doesn't speak English, I could only smile and say, " we-we," occasionally. He's as anxious about James as if he was his brother, and wanted to sit up the night with him ; though what use would it be ? for poor J. doesn't know a word of Trench, yet. Mary Anne tells me that he's a Coimt, and that his family was very high under the late King ; but it's dreadful to hear him talk of Louis Philippe and the Orleans branch. He mentioned, too, that they set spies after him wherever he goes; and indeed Mary Anne saw a Gendarme looking np at the window all the time he was with ns. He spent two hours and a half here ; and I must say, Molly, foreigners have a wonderful way of ingratiating themselves with one : we . felt, when he was gone away, as if we knew him all our life. Don't pay any attention to Mat, but sell the fruit, and send me the money ; and as for Bandy Bob, what's the use of feeding him now we^re away ? Take care that the advertisement about Dodsborough is in the Mnl and the Packet every week: "A Sesidenee fit for a nobleman or gentleman's family — ^mosfc extensive ont-offices, and two hundred, acres of land, more if required," ought to let easy! To be sure, if s in Ireland, Molly, that's the worst of it. There isn't a little bit of a lodging here on the sands, with rush-bottom chairs and a painted table, doesn't bring fifty francs a week ! I must conclude now, for it's nigh post-hour. Be sure you look after the trunks and. the pony. Never mind sending the Limerick paper; it costs three sons, and has never anything new. K. L sees the Times at the rooms, and they give all the outrages just as vrell as the Irish papers. By the way, who was the Judkia Delaney, that was killed at BruflF? Sure it isn't the little creature that collected the County-Cess ; it would be a disgrace if it was ; he wasn't five foot high! Tell Father Maher to send me a few threatening lines for Betty Cobb ; 'tis nothing but the Priest's word will keep her down. Tour most aflfectionate friend, Jemima Dodd. THE BODD TAMILT ABEOAD. LETTEE III. MISS DODD TO MISS DOOIiAN, OF BALLYDOOLAN. Hotel de Belleyue, Brussels. DeAEEST KlTTT, Ie anytting could divert the mind from sorrow — from the " grief that sears and scalds" — it would be the delightful existence of this charming city, where associations of the past and present pleasure divide attention between them. We are stopping at the BeUevue, the great hotel of the upper town ; but my delight, my ecstasy, is the old city — the Grande Place, especially, with its curious architecture of mediaeval taste, its high polished roofs, and carved architraves. I stood yesterday at the window where Count Egmont marched forth to the scafibld — I touched the chair where poor Horn sat for the last time, whilst his fainting wife fell powerless at his knees, and I thought — yes, dearest Kitty, I own it — I thought of that last dreadful part- ing in the summer-house with poor Peter. My tears are blotting out the words as I write them. Why — why, I ask, must we be wretched ? Why are we not free to face the humble destiny which more sordid spirits would shrink from ? What is there in narrow fortune, if the heart soars above it ? Papa is, however, more inexorable than ever ; and as for Mamma, she looks at me as though I were the disgrace of our name and lineage. Gary never did — never could understand me, poor child ! — may she never know what it is to suffer as I do ! But why do I distress you with my sorrows ? — " let me tune my harp to lighter lays," as that sweet poet, Haynes Bailey, says. We were yesterday at the great ball of Count Haegenstroem, the Danish Ambassador here. Papa received a large packet of letters of intro-- duction on Monday last, from the Foreign Office. It would seem that Lord P. thought Pa was a member, for he addressed him as M.P. ; but the mistake has been so far fortunate, that we are invited on Tues- day to dine at Lord Gledworth's, our Ambassador here, and we hare his box for to-night at the Opera— not to speak of last night's invita- tion, which came from him. I wore my amber gauze over the satin THE DODB FAMILY AEBOAD. 9 slip, •with the " jonquilles" and white roses, two camehas in my hair, ■with Mamma's coral chaia twined through the roll at the back. Count Ambrose de Eoncy called me a " rose-cameo," and I believe I did look my best. I danced with " Prince Sierra d'Aguila Kero," a Sicilian that ought to be the King of Sicily, and will, they say, if the King of Naples dies without leaving seven sons. "What a splendid man, Kitty ! not tall, rather the reverse ; but such eyes, and such a beard, and so per- fumed ! the very air around him was like the garden of Attarghul ! He spoke very little English, and could not bear to talk French ; he said the Trench betrayed " la sua carissima Patria ;" and so, my dear Eatty, I did my best in the syllables of the sweet south. Se, at least, called my accent " divina," and said that he would come and read Petrarch with me to-morrow. Don't let Peter be a fool when he hears this. The Prince is in a very different sphere from Poor Mary Anne ! he al- ways dances with Queen Victoria when he's at Windsor, and called bur Prinze-Consort "II suo diletto Alberto;" and more than all, he's married, but separated from the Princess. He told me this him- self, and with what terrible emotion, Kitty ! I thought of Charles Kean in " Claude Melnotte," as he spoke in a low guttural voice, with his hand on his bosom. It was very dreadful, but these temperaments, moulded alike by southern climes and ancient descent, are awful in their passionate vehemence. I assure you, it was a relief to me when he stopped one of the trays and took a pine-apple ice. I felt that it was a moment of peril passed in safety. Tou can form no notion, dearest, of the fascination of foreign manners, something there is so gently insinuating, so captivating, so bewitching, and withal so natural, Kitty — that's the very strangest thing of all. There is absolutely nothing a foreigner cannot say to you. I almost blush as 1 think of what, I now know, must have been the veriest commonplace of society, but which to my ears, in all their untutored ignorance, sounded very odd. Mamma — and you know her prudery — is actually in ecstasy with them. The Prince said to me last night, " Savez-vous, Mademoiselle! Madame voire mere est d'une beaute classique ;" and I assure you Ma was delighted with the compliment when she heard it. Papa is not so tractable : he calls them the most atrocious names, and has aU the old prejudices about the Continent that ^w see in the old farces. Cary is, however, worse again, and thinks their easy elegance is imper- tinence, and all the graceful charm of their manner nothing but — her own words — " egregious vanity." Shall I whisper you a bit of a secret ? "Well then, Kitty, the reason of this repugnance may be. 10 a?H;E DODD rAMIIiT ABSOAD. that she malses no impFeesion wliateFeE, motwitinstandrng her beauty ; and, there is no denying that she does not possess the gift — whatever it he — of feiseination. She has, besides, a species of antipathy to everything foreign, that she makes no eifort to disguise. A rather unfortunate aequaiatanee Ma made, on board the steam-pafiket, ■with a certain Mr. Krauth, who called himself Sttb-Consul of somewhere in Holland, but who turned out to be a Jew pedlar, has given Cary such an opportunity of inveighiaig against all foreigners, that she is positively unendurable. This Krauth, I must say, was atrociously vulgar, and shoctingly ugly ; but as he could talk some broken Eng- lish, Ma rather liked him, and we had him to tea ; after which, lie took James home to his lodgings, to show him some wonderM stuffed birds that he was bringing to one of the Eoyal Princesses. I have not patience to tell you all the narrative, but the end of it was, that poor dear James, having given all his pocket-money and his silver pencil-case for a tin musical snuff-box, that won't play Weber's last waltz, except iu jerks like a hiccough, actually exchanged two dozen of his new shirts for a box of Havannah cigars and a cigar-case with a picture of Panny Elssler on it! Papa was iu a towering passion when he heard of it, and hastened off to EL's lodgings ; but he had already decamped. This unhappy incident threw a shade over our last few days at Ostend ; for James never came down to dine, but sat in his own room smoking the atrocious cigars, and contemplating the portrait of the charming Eanny — pursuits which, I must say, seemed to hare conduced to a most melancholy and despondent frame of mmd. There was another " mescmenture" tsoj dearest Eitty. My thanks to that sweet language for the word "bj which I charactesise it"! A certain Count Victor de Laney, who made acquaintance with us at the table d'hdte, and was presuming enough to visit us afterwards, turned out to be a common thief ! and who, thoughr under the surveillance of the Police, made away with Ma's workbox and her gold spectacles, putting on Pa's paletot, and a new plaid belonging to James, as he passed out. It is very shocking ; but confess, dearest, what a land it must be, where the pedlars are insiauatiug, and the very pick- pockets have all the ease and breeding of the best society. I assure yOTi that I could not credit l!he guilt of M. de L., until the Brigadier came yesterday to inquire about our losses, and take what he called his " sigmlement." I thought, for a moment or two, that he had made a mistake, Kitty, and was come for mine; for he looked into my eyes in such a way, and spoke so softly, that I began to blush ; THE BOBD FAMILY ABEOATX ll and Mamma, always on the watch, bridled up, and said, " Mary Anne !" in that Toioe you must so -well Teinemb«r ; and so it is, my dear friend, the Thief and the Constable, and I have no doubt, too, the Judge, the Jury, and the Gaoler, are all on>the same beat ! I have just berai called away to see such a love of a rose tunic, all glac4, to-be worn over a didl slate-coloiired jupe, looped up at one side, with -white camelias and lilies of the valley . Think of me. Batty, with my bair drawn back and slightly powdg red, red heels to my shoes, and a ^^eat fan hanging to my side, like grave Aunt Susan ia the picture, wanting nothing bat the -lo¥e-siek swain that plays the flageolet at her feet I — Madame Adele, the Modiste, says, "not long to wait for a dozen such" — and this, not for a fancy ball, dearest, but for a simple evraiing party — a " daneeable tea," as Papa will call it. I vow to you, Kitty, that it greatly detracts from the pictorial effect of this taste, to see how obstinately men will adhere to their present ungainly and ungraceful style of dress — that shocking solecism in costume, a narrow-tailed coat, and those more fearful outrages on shape and symmetry for which no name has been invented in any lan- guage. Now, the levelling effect of this bla«k coat system is terrific ; and there is no distinguishing a man of real rank from his tailor : amongst English at least, for the crosses and decorations so frequent with foreigners wee unknown to us. Talking of these, Kitty, the Prince of Aguila Nero is splendid. He wears nearly every bird and beast that Noah had in the ark, and a few others quite unknown to antediluvial zdology. These distinctions are sad reflections on the want of a chivalrio feeling in our country ; and when we think of the heroic actions, the doughty deeds, and high achievements of these Paladins, we are forced to blush for the spirit that con demns us to be a nation of shopkeepers. HoTf I run on, dearest, from one topic to another ! just as to my mind is presented the delightful succession of objects about me— objects of wrhose very existence I did not know till now ] And then to think of what a life of obscurity and darkness we were condemned to, at home ! Our neighbourhood—^ Priest, a Miller, and those odious Davises ; our gaieties, a detestable dinner at the Grange ; our thea- tricals, "The Castle Spectre," p^formed in the coach-house; and instead of those gorgeous and splendid ceremonials of our Church, so impressive, so soul-subduing, Kitty, the little dirty chapel at Bruff, with Lariy Behan, the lame Sacristan, hobbling about and thrashing the urchins with the handle of the extinguisher ! his muttered '' If I was near yeezl" breaking in on the- *' Oremus, Domine." Shall I 12 THE BODD FAMILY ABEOAD. own it, Kitty, there is a dreadful wagarity about our dear little cirde ofDodsborougli; and " one demoralises," as the French say,- by the incessant appeal of low and too familiar associations. I have been again called away to interpret for Papa with the ^°^<^- That graceless Uttle wretch, Paddy Byrne, who was left behind by the train at Malines, went to eat his dinner at one of the smaU " Eestaurants" in the town, called the " Oheval Pie," and not finding the food to his satisfaction, got into some kind of an altercation with the waiter, when the name of the hostel coming .up in the dispute,, suggested to Paddv the horaid thought that it w^s the " Horse Pie- house" he had chaiaced upon— an idea so revoltmg^to his culinary pre. judices that he smashed and broke everything before him, and was only subdued at last by a corporal's party of the Gendarmerie, who handcuflCed and conveyed him to Brussels ; and here he is, now, crying and calling himself a « poor boy that was dragged from home," and, in fact, trying to persuade himself and aU around him that he has been sold into slavery, by a cruel master. Betty Cobb, too, has just joined the chorus, and is eloquently interweaving a little episode of Irish wrongs and sorrows into the tissue of Paddy's woes ! Betty is worse than him. There is nothing good enough for her to eat ; no bed to sleep upon ; she even finds the Belgians deficient in cleanlmess. This, after Brufi; is a little too bad ! Mamma, however, stands by her in everything, and in the end she vrill become intoler- able. James intends to send a few lines to your brother Eobert ; but if he should fail— not improbable, as writing, with himj combines the double difficulties of orthography and manuscript — pray remember us kindly to him, and believe me ever, my dearest Kitty, Tour heart-devoted, Maet AinnB Dodd. P. B. must not think of writing; but you may tell him that I'm unchanged, unchangeable. The cold maxims of worldly prudence, the sordid calculations of worldly interests, affect me not. As Metastasio says: " 0' se ragione intende Subito, amor, non'e." I know it — I feel it. There is what Balsac calls v/tie perversite divine in true affection, that teaches one to brave father, and mother, and brother, and this"glorious sentiment is the cradle of true martyrdom. May my heart cherish this noble grief, and never forget that if there is no struggle, there is no victory. Do you remember Captain Morris, of the 25th, the little dark officer :,^V« ^ \> i ^ THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAD. 13 that came down to Bruflf after the burning of the Sheas ? I saw him yesterday, but, Eitty, how differently he looked here, in his passe blue frock, from his air in "our Tillage!" He wanted to bow, but I cut him dead. " No," thought I, " times are changed, and we with them !" Caroline, who was walking behind me with James, however, not only saluted, but spoke to him. He said, " I see your sister forgets me ; but I know how altered ill-health has made me. I am going to leave the service." He asked where we were stopping — a most unneces- sary piece of attention ; for after the altercation he had with Pa on the Bench at Bruff, I think common delicacy might keep him from seeking us out. Try and persuade your Papa to take you abroad, Kitty, if only for a summer ramble ; believe me, there is no other refining process like it. If you only saw James already — you remember what a sloven he was — you'd not know him ; his hair so nicely divided and perfumed ; his gloves so accurately fitting; his boots perfection in shape and polish ; and all the dearest little trinkets in the world — pistols and steam-carriages, death's-heads, ships, and serpents — hanging from his watch-chain ; and as for the top of his cane, Kitty, it is paved with .lurquoise, and has a great opal in the middle. Where, how, and when he got all this " elegance," I can't even guess, and I see it must be a secret, for neither Pa nor Ma have ever yet seen him " en gala." I wish your brother Eoberfc was with him. It would be such an advantage to him. I am certain Trinity College is all that you say of it ; but confess, Kitty, Dublin is terribly behind the world in all that regards civilisation and " ton." 14 THE DODB FAMIiiT ABBOi-S. LETTEB rv. JAMES DODD TO ROBERT DOOLAN, ESQUIRE, TRIKITT COLLEGE, DUBLIN. Hotel de Bellevne, Brussels. Deab Bob, Hbee we are, living another kind of life from o\ir old existence at Dodsborough ! We hare capital quarters at the " Bellevue" — a fine hotel,, excellent dinners, and, what I think not inferior- to either, a most obliging Jew money-changer hard by, who advances " moderate loans to respectable parties, on. personal security" — a process in which I have already made some proficiency, and with considerable advan- tage to my outward man. The tailors are first-rate, and rig you out with gloves, boots, hab, even to your cane — they forget nothing. The hairdressers are also incomparable. I thought, at first,, that capillary attraction was beyond me ; but, to my agreeable surprise, I discover that I boast a very imposing " ehevelure," and a bright promise of moustache, which, as yet, is only faintly depicted by a dusky line on ' my upper lip. It's aU nonsense to xmdervalue dress : I'm no more the same man in- my dark-green paletot, trimmed with Astracan, than I was a month ago in my fustian shooting-jacket — than a weU-plumed eagle is like a half-moulted turkey. There is an inseparable connexion, between your coat and your character ; and few things so react on the morality of a man as the cut of his trousers. Nothing more certainly teUs me this, than the feeling with which I enter any public place now, com- pared to what I experienced a few weeks back. It was then half- shame, half-swagger — a conflict between modesty and defiance. Now, it is the easy assurance of being " aU right" — the conviction that my hat, my frock, my cravat, my vest, can stand the most critical exami- nation ; and that if any one be impertinent enough to indulge in the inquiry through his eye-glass, I have the equal privilege to return stare for stare, with, mayhap, an initiatory sneer iato the bargain. By-the-way, the habit of looking unutterably fierce seems to be the first lesson abroad. The passport-people, as ydu land— the officers of the Custom?— the landlord of your Inn— the waiters— the railroad clerks, aU « get up" a general air of sovereign contempt for everybody and everything, rather puzzling at first, but quite reassuring when you are trained to reciprocity. Por the time, I rather flatter myself THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAJ). 15 to have leacmed the dodge well ; not but, I must confess to you, Bob, that my educatioa is prosecuted under difficulties. During the whole of the iDOiming, I'm either with the Governor or nvy Mother, sight- seeing and house-hunting — ^now, seeking out a Eubens, now, making an excursion into the market,'and making exploratory researches into the prices of fish, fowl, and vegetables ; cheapening articles that we don't intend to buy — a process my Mother looks upon as a moral exercise ; and climbing up " two-pair," to see lodgings we have no ia- tention to take; all because, as she says, "we ought to know every- thing;" and really the spirit of inquiry that moves her wiU have its reward — not always, perhaps, without some drawbacks, as witness what happened to us on Tuesday. In our rambles along the Boule- vard de "Waterloo,, we saw a smart-looking house, with au affiehe over the door — " A louer," and, of course. Mother and Mary Anne at once stopped the carriage for an exploration. In we went, asked foi? the Proprietor, and saw a small, rosy-cheeked little man, with a big wig, and a very inquiet, restless look in his eyes. " Could we see the house? "Was it fnrnished ?" "Tes," to both questions. "Were there stables?" "Capital room for four horses; good water — two kiuda, and both excellent." "Up-stairs we toiled, through one salon into another — now, losing ourselves iu dark passages, now, coming abruptly to unlockable doors — everlastingly coming back to the spot we had just left, and conceiving the grandest notions of the number of rooms, from the moainer of our own perambulations. Of course you Imow the invariable incidents of this tiresome process, where the owner is always trying to open impracticable windows, and the visitors wiU rush into inscrutable places, in despite of aU advice and admonition. Our voyage of discovery was like aU preceding ones ; and we looked down well-staircases and up into skylights — snuffed for possible smells, and suggested imaginary smoke, in every room we saw. While we were thus busily criticising the domicile, its owner, it would seem, was as acitively engaged in an examination of us, and apparently with a less satiafaetory result, for he broke in upon one of our con- sultations by a friendly " No, no. Ladies ; it won't do — it won't do at all. This house would never suit ;" and while my Mother stared, and Mary Anne opened wide her eyes in astoniahment, he went on, " We're only losing time. Ladies : both your time and mine wiU. be wasted. This is not the house for yn2^- -^ c:yA-€> --.y^year- yj/ie^\ THE lODD TAMIIiT ABEOAD. - 43 " Why not J" exclaimed he ; " because you're half-naked, Madam ; — ^because it wouldn't do for a bathing-dress ; — because the Queen of the Tonga Islands wouldn't go out in it." " If my dress is not high enough for your taste, K. I., maybe the bill is," says I, throwing down the paper on the table, and sweeping out of the room. Oh ! MoUy, little I knew the words I was saying, for I never had opened the bill at all, contenting myself with Mdlle. Adele's promise that the making would be a " bagatelle of some fifteen or twenty francs !" What do you think it came to ? Eight hundred and thirty-three francs five sous. Thirty-three pounds sis and tenpence-halfpenny ! as sure I write these lines. I was taken with the nerves — just as I used to be long ago — screeching and laughing and crying all together, when I heard it ; and the attack lasted two hours, and left me very weak and exhausted after it was over. Oh ! Molly dear, what a morning it was ! for what with ether and oura^oa, strong sherry and aniseed cordial, my head was splitting ; and Betfrf ran down stairs into the table d'hote room, and said that " the Master was going to murder the Mistress," and brought up a crowd of gentlemen after her. K. I. was holding my hands at the time ; for they say that I wanted to make at Mdlle. Adele to tear her eyes out ; so that, naturally enough, perhaps, they beHeved Betty's story ; however that might be, they rushed in a body at K. I., who, quitting hold of me, seized the poker. I needn't tell you what he is like when in a passion ! I'm told the scene was awful ; for they aU made for the stairs together — K. I. after them ! The appearance of the place afterwards may give you some notion of what it witnessed — all the orange-trees in the tubs thrown down, two lamps smashed, the bust of the King and Queen on the landing in shivers, several of the banis- ters broken ; while tufts of hair, buttons, and bits of cloth were strewn about on all sides. The head-w'aiter is wearing a patch over his eye stfll, and the Swiss porter, one of the biggest men I ever saw, has cut his face fearfidly by a fall into a glass globe with gold fish. It was a costly morning's work, Molly ; and if twenty pound sees us through it, we're lucky ! Mr. Proffles, too, the Landlord, came up, to request we'd leave the hotel ; that there were nothing but rows and disturb- ances in the house since we entered it ; and much more of the same sort. K. I. flared up at this, and they abused each other for an hour. This is very unfortunate, ior I hear that P. is a Baron, and a great friend of the King ; for abroad, Molly dear, the Nobles are not above anything, and seU cigars, and show the town to strangers to turn a penny, without any one thinking the worse of them ! AU this, as you may suppose, was a blessed pr^aration for the Court breakfast ; THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAD. but yet, by two o'clock we got away, and reached tbe AUee Verte, when we heard that all the special trains were abeady off, and had to take our places ia the common conveyances meant for the public, and worse again, to be separated from K. I., who had to go iuto a third- class, while Mary Anne and I were in a second. There we were, dressed up in full style La the noon-day, with bare necks and arms, in a crowd of bagmen, officers, and clerks, who, you may be sure, had their own thoughts about us ; and indeed there's no saying what they mightn't have done as well as thought, if K. I. didn't come to the window every time we stopped, with a big stick in his hand, and by a very significant gesture gave the company to comprehend that he'd make mince veal of the man that molested us. You may think, Molly, of what a two hours we spent, for the women in the train were worse than the men, and although I did not understand what they said, their looks were quite intelligible ; but I have not patience to tell you more. "We reached Mons at four o'clock ; a great part of the ceremony was over. The high mass and benedic- tion pronounced by the Cardiual of Malines — the rail was blessed — and the deputation had addressed the King, and his Majesty had re- plied, and all kinds of congratulations were exchanged, orders and. crosses given to everybody, from the surveyors to the stokers, and now the procession was forming to the Eoyal Pavilion, where there were tables laid out for eight hundred people. K. I.'s scarlet uniform, though a little the worse for wear, and so tight in the waist that the last three buttons were left unfastened, procured him immediate respect, and we passed through sentries and patrols as if we were royalty itself ; indeed, the military presented £irms to K. I. at every step, and such clinking of muskets and bayonets I never heard before. All this time, Molly, we were going straight on, without knowing where to ; for K. I. said to me iu a whisper, " Let us put a bold face on it, or they'll ask us for tickets or something of the kind ;" and so we went, hoping every moment to see our friend, the Count, who would take us under his protection. If it wasn't for our own anxieties, the scene would have amused us greatly, for there was aU manner of elegant females, and men in fine uniforms, and the greatest display of jewels I ever saw ; but for aU that, we were getting uneasy, for we saw that they each carried cards in their hands, and that the official came and asked for them as they passed on. " "We'll be in a nice way if Vanderdelft doesn't turn up," says K. I. ; and as he said it, there was the General himself beside us. He was greatly heated, as if he had been running or walking fast, and although N^ ^. THE DODD rAMrLT ABEOAD. 45 dressed in full uniform, his stock was loose and his cocked hat was without the feather. " I was afraid I should have missed you," said he, ia a hurried voice to Mary Anne, " and I'm half -killed running aboidpifter you. "Where's the Queen-Mother ?" This wasn't very ceremonious, my dear, but I didn't know what he said at the time ; indeed, he sgoke so fast it was aU Mary Anne could do to foUow him ! for he talked of everything and everybody in a breath. " We've not a minute to lose," cried he, drawing Mary Anne's arm inside his own. "If Leopold! once sits. down, to table, I can't present you. Come along, and I'U get you a good place." How we pierced the crowd the. Saints alone can tell ! but the Gene- ral went at them in a way of his own, and they feU back, as they saw him coming, in a style that made us think we had no common guide to conduct us. At last, by dint of crushing, driving, and pushing everybody out of :our way, we reached a kind of barrier, where two fine-looking men in blue and gold were taking the tickets. As Mary Anne and the General were in advaince of us, I didn't see what happened first ; but when we came up, we found Vanderdelft in a flaring passion, and crying out, " These scidlions don't know mfe — this canaille never heard of my name !" " We're in a mess, Mrs. D.," said K. I. to me, in a whisper. , "How can that be ?" said I. " We're in a mess," says he again, " and a pretty mess too, or I'm mistaken;" but hehadn't. time for, more, for just then the General kicked up the bar with his foot, and passed in with Mary Anne, flourishing his drawn sword in the air, and crying out, " Take them in flank — sabre them, every man— no, prisoners ! — no quarter !' ' Oh, Molly, I can't continue, though I'U never forget the scene that fol- lowed. Two big men in grey coats burst through, the crowd and laid hands on the General, who, it seems, had made his escape out of a madhouse, at Ghent, a week before, and was, as they said, the most dangerous Ivmatic in all Belgium. It appeared that he had gone down to his own country-house near Brussels, and stolen his uniform and his orders, for he was once on a time Aide-de-Campto the Prince of Orange, and went mad after the Eevolution. Just think of our situation as we stood there, among all the nobles and grandees, suffocated with laughter • for as .they tore the poor General away, he cried out " to take care of the Queen-Mother, and to be sure and get something to eat for the Aga of the Janissaries," meaning K. I. ! The mob at this time began screeching and hooting, and there's no knowing how it might have ended, if it wasn't for the little Captain — 46 THE DOIH) TAMHiT ABEOAD. Morris is his name — ^that was once quartered at Bruff, and who happened to be there, and knew us, and he came up and explained who we were, and got us away to a coach, more dead than ^re, MoUy. * And so we got back to Brussels that night, in a state of mind and body I leave you to imagine, K. I, abusing us aU the way about the Milliner's bill, the expense of the trip, and the exposure ! " It's clear,'' says he, "we may leave this city now, for you'll never recover what you call your ' position,' here, after this day's exploit !" You may conceive how humbled and broken I was when he dared to say that to me, MoUy, and I didn't so much as give him a word back ! You'll see from this that life isn't aU. roses with us ; and, indeed, for the last two days I've done nothing but cry, and Mary Anne the same; for how we're ever to go to Court and be presented now, nobody can teU ! Morris advises K. I. to go into Grermany for the summer, and maybe he is right ; but, to tell you the truth, MoUy, I can't bear that little man — ^he has a dry, sneering kind of way with him that is odious to me. Mary Anne, too, hates him. So Father Maher won't buy " Judy," because she's not in calf. It's just like him — ^he must have everything in this life his own way ! Send me the price of the- wool by Purcell ; he can get a Post-bill for it ; and be sure to dispose of the fruit to the best advantage. Don't make any jam this year; for I'd rather have the money than be spending it on sugar. You'd not believe the straits I'm put to for a pound or two. It was only last week I sold four pair of K. I.'s drab shorts and gaiters and a brown surtout to a hawker for a trifle of fifteen francs, and persuaded him they vrere stolen out of his drawers ! and I believe he has spent nearly double the money in hand-bills, offering a reward for the thief! That's the fruits of his want of con- fidence, and the secret and mysterious way he behaves to me ! Many's the time I told him that his imderhaiid tricks cost him half his income ! I teE him every day it's " no use to be here if we don't live in a certaia style;" and then he says, "I'm quite ready to go back, Mrs. D. It was never my will that we came here at all." And there he is right, for it's just Ireland he's fit for! Pather Maher, and Tom Purcell, and Sam Davis, are exactly the company to suit him ; but it's very hard that me and the girls' are to suffer for his low tasteS'! The Evening Mail, I see, puts Dodsborough down at the bottom of a column, as if it was Holloway's Ointment. That's what we get by having dealings with an Orange newspaper. They could murder us THE DODD rAMILT ABBOAJ). 4f^ — ^ttat's their feeling. They know in their hearts that they're heretics, and they hate the True Church. There is nothing I detest so much as bigotry. Gro to Heaven your own way, and let the Pro- testants go to the other place, theirs. Them's my sentiments, Molly, and I beUere they're the sentiments of a good Christian ! I'm sorry for Peter Belton, but what business has he to think of a girl like Mary Anne ? If Doctor Cavanagh was dead himself, the whole practice of the country wouldn't be three hundred a year. Try and get an opportunity to teU him what I think, and say that he ought to look out for one of the Davises ; though what a Dispensary Doctor wants with a wife the Lord only knows ! K. I. civilly says he ought; to be content making blisters for the neighbours, without wanting one on his ovra back ! Thafs the way be talks of women. JFather Maher never sent me the lines for Betty Cobb, and maybe I'U be driven to have her cursed by a foreign Priest after all. She and Paddy are the torment of our lives. I' saved up five pounds to send them both back by a sailing-ship, but by good luck I discovered the vessel was going to Cuba instead of Cork, and so here they are stiU. : maybe it would have been better if I had sent them off, though the way was something of a roundabout. There's no use in my speaking to K. I. about Christy, for he can get nothing for James. "We may write to Yickers every week, but he never answers ; he knows Par- liament won't be dissolved soon, and he doesn't mind us. If I'd my win, there wotdd be a Greneral Election every year, at least, and then we'd have a chance of getting something. I don't know which is worst, the Whigs or the Tories, nor is there much difference between them. K. I. supported each of them in turn, and never got bit nor sup from one or other, yet ! I was sounding K. I. about Christy last night, and Tte thinks' you ought to send him to the gold diggings ; he wants nothing but a pickaxe and a tin cullender and a pair of waterproof boots, to make a fortune there ; and that's more than we can say of the County Lime- rick. There's nothing so hard to provide for as a boy in these times, except a girl ! The trunks have not arrived yet ; T hope you despatched them. Tour attached and sincere friend, Jemima Dodd. 48 THE DODD FAMILY ABROAD. LETTER VIII. BETTY COBB TO MKS. SHUSAN o'SHAY, PEIEST's HOUSE, BRUFP. Deae Misses Shttsak-, This comes with my heart's sorrow that I'm not at home where I was hred and born, but livin' abroad like a pelican on a dissolute island, more by token that I never wanted to come, but was persuaded by them that knew nothin' about what they wor talking ; but thought it was all figs, and lemons, and raisins, with green pays and the sun in season all the year round ; but, on the contrahery, sich rain and wind I never seen afore ; and as for the eating, the Saints forgive me if it's not true, but I b'leve I ate more rats since I've come, than ever ould Tib did since she was kittened. The drinkin's as bad, or worse. "What they call wine, is spoilt vinegar ; and the vegables has no bone nor eatin' in them at aU, but melts away in the mouth like butter in July. But 'tis the wickedness is the worst of all. Shusan ! but the men is bad, and the women worse. Of all the devils ever I heerd of, they bate them. 'Tisn't a quiet walk to mass on Sunday, with maybe a decent boy beside you, discoorsin', or the like, and then sitting under a hedge for the evening, with your apron afore you, taUdn' about the praties or the price of pigs, or maybe the Polls ; but here 'tis danein', and rompin', and eatin', with merry-go-rounds, swing-swongs, and skittles, all the day long. The dancin's dreadful ! they don't stand up foment other, like a jig, where anything of a dacent partner wouldn't so much as look hard at jon, but keep minding his steps and humorin' the tune ; but they catch each other round the waist — 'tis true I am saying — and go huggin' and tearin' about like mad, till they can't breathe nor spake ; and then, the noise I for 'tisn't one fiddle they have, but maybe twenty, with horns, and flutes, and a murderin' big brown tube, that a man blows into at one side, that makes a sound like the sea among the rocks at Kelper ; and that's danein', my dear ! I got lave from the Mistress last Sunday to go out in the evening with Mr. IVancis, the currier, as they caU. him — a mighty nice man, but a little free in his manners ; and we went to the Moeleubeck Gardens, an iUgant place, no doubt, with a hundred little tables under the trees, and a flure for danein' and fireworks, and a boat on a lake, with an island in it, where there was a hermit — a fine-looking ould man, with a beard down to his waist, but, for all that, no better than he ought to be, for he made an ofi'er to kiss me when I was going into the boat, and Mr. Francis laughed at me bekase I was angry. No THE DODD TAMILT ABEOAD. 4a matter, we -went off to a place they call the Temple of Bakis, where there was a fat man, as I thought, stark nakit ; but it was flesh- coloured web he had on, and he was settin' on a beer-barrel, with a wreath of roses round his head, and looking as drunk as ever I seen; and for half a franc a-piece,. Bakis pulled out the spiget, and gave you a glassful of the nicest drink ever was tasted — warm wine, with nutmeg in it, and cloves, and a taste of mint. I was afeered to do more nor sup, seeia' the place and the croud ; but indeed, Shusan, little as I vtook,' it got into my head ; and I sat down on the 'steps of the Temple, and begun to cry. about home and Dodsborough; and something came over me that Mr.' Francis didn't mane well ; and so I told everybody that I was a poor Irish girl, and that he was a wicked blaguard ; and then the Polls came, and there was a Shindy ! I don't know how far niy head was wrong all the time ; and they said that I simg the " Croniawn Dhubh ;" maybe I did ; but I know that I 'haiie off the Polis ; and at last they took me • away home, when every stich on me was in ribbins; my elegant bdimet with the green bows as flat as a halfpeny ; and the bombazine the Mistress gave me, all rags ; one of my shoes, too, was lost, and except a handful of. hair I tore out of the corporal's beard 'twas aU loss to me. This wasn't the worst ; for little Paddy Byrne, that was in bed for a baiting he got 'mong the hackney-coachmen, jumped up and flew at Mister Francis for the honour of ould Ireland ; and they fit for twenty minutes in the pantry, and broke every bit of glass and ehaney in the house, forbye three lamps and some alybastard figures that was put there for safety ; and the end of it was, Mr. Francis was discharged, but woiddn't take his wages, if the Master didn't pay him half a year in advance, with diet and washing, and his expenses home to Swisserland, wherever that is ; and there it is now, and Master is ia alaw-shute, that eveiybody says wiU go agin him ; for there's one good thing abroad, Shusan, dear, the Coprts stands by poor sarvants, and won't see them wronged by any cruel masters ; and maybe it would be taching ould Mister Dodd something, if they made him smart for this ! Te may think, from all this, tha,t I'd be glad to be back again, and so it is. I cry aU day and night, and sorrow stich I do for either the Mistress or the young ladies, and maybe at last they'll see 'tis best to send me home. They needn't begrudge me the thrifle 'twould cost, for they're spending money like mad ; and even the Mistress, that would skin a flay in Ireland, thinks nothing of layin' out ten or fifteen pounds here of a day. Miss Mary Anne is as bad as the mother, and grown so proud and stand off that I never spake to her. Miss 50 THE DODD EAMIIT ABEOAB.. Caroline is what she used to be, barrin' the spirits ; to be sure she has no divarsion, and no horse to ride, nor doesn't be out in the fields as she used, but for aU that she bears it better than myselE. Mister Jamea is grown a young man in three weeks, and never passes me om the stair without a wink or a look of the same kind ; that's the way the Continent taehes good manners ! Mrs. Shusan ! oh deaa- !. oh dear ! but 'tis wishing it I am, the day I come on this inoomtential tour. If I can't get back — though it's not my feult if I don't — send me the pair of strong shoes you'U find in my hair trunk, and the two petticoats in the comer. If you could get a blade in the big scissors, send it too, and the two bits of dimity I want for mendin'. There was some Dandy Lion in a paper, I'd like ; for there's none here, they say, has strength in it. Tou'U be able to send me these by somebody coming this way, for I heerd Mistress say everybody is traveUin' these times. What was it Pather Tom used to take for the redness in his nose ? mine is tormentin' me dreadM, and though I'm poidticin' it every night with ash-bark, earth-worms, and dragon's blood, I think it's only worse it's gettin'. Mr. IVancis said that I must lam to sleep with my nose higher than my head, though how I'm to do it, the Saints alone can teU ! Uo time for more than to say your loving friend, BETa?T Cobb. LETTEE IX. KENNX DODD TO IHOMAS PUKCELL, ESQ. Bellevue, Brussels. Deae Toji, It's no use in talking; I can't go over to Ireland now, and you know that as well as myself. Besides, what's the good of me takiiig a part in the elections ? Who can tell which side wiLL be uppermost, after all ? And if one is " to enter, it's as well to ride the winning horse." Tickers has behaved so badly, that I don't think I'd support him ; but there's a fortnight yet before the elections, and perhaps he may see the errors of his ways before that ! I've little heart or spirits for politics^ for my life is fairly bothered out of me with domestic troubles. James is going on very slowly. There was a bit of glove-leather round the ball — a most inexcusable negligence on the part of his second — that has given much uneasiness ; and he has a kind of night fever, that keepa him low and weak. THE DODD FAMILT ABEOJJ). 51 "Witk that too, lie has too many doctors. Three of them come every moming, and never go away without a dispute. It strikes me forcibly, Tom, that medical science is one of the things that makes little progress, considering all the advantages of our century. I don't mean to say that they don't know better what's inside of you, what your bones is made of, that they haven't more hard names for everything than formerly ; but that when it comes to cure yon of a tooth-ache, or a colic, or a fit of the gout, my sure belief is they made just as good a hand of it two hundred years ago. I won't deny that they'll whip off your leg, tie one of your arteries,, or take your Hp out of the socket quicker than they used long ago ; but how few of us, thank Grod, have need of that kind of skill ! and if we have, what signifies a quarter of a minute more or less ? Tim Hackett, that was Surgeon to our County Infirmary, forty years, never used any other tools than an old razor and a pair of pinchers, and I believe he was j ust as successful as Ashley Cooper ; and yet these fellows that come to see James> cover the table every day with instruments that would puzzle the Eioyal Society — ^things like patent corkscrews, scissors with teeth like a saw, and one little crankum, for aU the world like a landing-net : James is more afraid of that than of all the rest. When I saw it first, I thought it was a new contrivance for taking the fees in. The Pharmacopceia — I hope I speH it right — ^is greater, to be sure, than long ago, but what's the advantage of that ? "We never discover a new kind of beast for food, and I see little benefit in multipljring what only disgusts you. 'Tis with Medicine as with Law, Tom ; the more precedents we have, the more confused we get ; and where our ignorant ancestors saw their way clearly, we, with all our enlighten- ment, never can hit on the right track at all The Millowner and the Engineer, the Tanner, the Dyer, the Printer, aye,, even the Farmer, picks up something every day that helps him in his craft. It's only the Learned Professions that never learn anything : maybe that's how they got the name "lucus anon," Tom, as Doctor BeU would say. You keep preaching to me about economy and maiking " both ends meet," and aU that kind of balderdash; and if you only saw the way we're living, you'd be surprised at our cheapness. Whenever a five- pound note sees me through our bOl for the day, I give myself a bottle of champagne at night out of gratitude ! Tou remember all Mrs. D'.'s promises about thrift and saving ; and, faith, I must say, that so far as cutting "down the estimates" for the rest of the family, she's worthy of the Manchester school ; but whenever it touches herself her liberality becomes boimdless. I!2 52 THE DOBD FAMILY ABBOAD. I believe it ■would be cheaper to give the MUUner a room in the house, than pay her coach-hire, for she's here every morning, and generally in my room when I'm shaving, sometimes before I'm up. Not that this trifling circumstance ever disconcerted her. On my con- science, I believe she'd have taken Eve's measure before Adam, without a blush at the situation ! So far as I have seen of foreign life, Tom, shamelessness is the grand characteristic, and I grieve to say that one picks up the indecency much easier than the iiregular verbs. I wish, however, I had nothing to complain of but this. I told you in one of my late letters, that I was getting into law here ; the plot is thickening since that, and I have now, I believe, four actions — I hope it is not five — spending in four different courts ; in some I'm the Plaintiff, in some the Defendant, and in another I'm something between the two ; but what that may be, or what conse- quences it entails, I know as much as I do about calculating the next eclipse ! Indeed, to distinguish between the several suits, and the advocates I have engaged, is no small difficulty, and a considerable part of every conference is occupied with purely introductory matter. These foreign Lawyers have a mysterious kind of way with them too, that always gives you the impression that a lawsuit is something like the Gunpowder Plot ! There's a fellow comes to me every morning for instructions, as he calls it, muffled up in a great cloak, and using as many precautions against being seen by the servants as if we were going to blow up the Government. I'd not be so sensitive on the subject, if it hadn't provoked a species of annoyance, at which, per- haps, you'll be more disposed to laugh than sympathise. Por the last week Mrs. D. had adopted a kind of warfare at which she, I'll be bound to say, has few equals and no superior — a species of irregular attack, at all times and on all subjects, by inuendo and insinuation, so dexterously thrown out as to defy opposition ; for you might as well take your musket to keep off the mosquitoes! What she was driving at I never could guess, for the assault came on every flank and in all manner of ways. If I was dressed a little more carefully than usual, she called attention to my " smartness;" if less so, she hinted that I was probably going out " on the sly." If I stayed at home, I was waiting for somebody ; if I went out, it was to " meet them.' ' But all this GueriUa warfare gave way at last to a grand attack, when I ventured to remonstrate about some extravagance or other. "It came well from »ne," she burst forth with indignant anger — " it came weU from me to talk of the little necessary expenses of the family — ^the bit they ate, and the clothes on their backs." She spoke as if they were Mandans or Iraquois, and Uved in a wigwam ! THE DODD TAMILT ABEOAD. 53 " It came well from me, living the life I did ! to grudge ttem the commonest requirements of decency!" "Living the life I did!" I avow to you, Tom, the words staggered me. "Warren Hastings tells us, that when Burke concluded his terrible invective, that he actually sat for five minutes overwhelmed vrith a sense of guilt ; and so stunning was this charge, that it took me fall double as long to rally ! for though Mrs. D.'s eloquence may not possess all the splendour or sublimity of the great Edmund, there is a homely significance — a kind of natural impressiveness about it not to be despised. " Living the life I did," rang in my ears like the words of a Judge in a charge. It Bounded like, " Kenny Dodd, you have been fairly convicted by an honest and impartial Jury !" and I confess I sat there expecting to hear " the last sentence of the law." It was only after some interval I was able to ask myself, "what was reaUy the kind of life I had been leading ?" My memory assured me it was a very stupid, tiresome existence — very good-for-nothing and uninstmctive. It was by no means, how- ever, one of flagrant vice or any outrageous wickedness ; and I couldn't help muttering with honest Jack, " If sack and sugar be a sin, God help the wicked !" The only things like personal amusements I had indulged in being gin- and- water and dominoes — cheap pleasures, if not very fascinating ones ! " Living the life I did !" Why, what does the woman mean ? Is she throwing in my teeth the lazy, useless, unprofitable course of my daily existence, without a pursuit, except to hear the gossip of the town — without an object, except to retail it ? " Mrs. D.," said I, at last, " you are, generally speaking, comprehensible. Whatever faults may attach to your parts of speech, it must be owned, they usually convey your meaning. Now, for the better maintenance of this characteristic, will you graciously be pleased to explain the words you have just spoken ? What do you mean by the ' life I am lead- ing?'" "Not before the girls, certainly, Mr. D.," said she, in a Lady Macbeth whisper, that made my blood curdle. The mischief was out at once, Tom — I know you are laughing at it already — ^it's quite true — she was jealous — mad jealous ! Ah, Tom, my boy, it's all very good fun to laugh at Keeley, or Buckstone, or any other of those diverting vagabonds who can convulse the house with such a theme, but in real life the Parce is downright Tragedy. There is not a single comfort or consolation of your life that is not kicked clean from imder you ! A system of normal agitation is a fine thing, they tell us, in politics, but it is a cruel adjunct of domestic life ! Every- thing you say, every look you give, every letter you seal, or every note 54 THE DODD I'AMILT ABEOAD. you receive, are counts in a mysterious indictment against you, till a± last you are afraid to blow your nose, lest it be taken for a signal "to tte fat widow lady that is caressing ber poodle at the window over the way ! You may be sure, Tom, that I repelled the charge with aU the indignation of imjured innocence. I invoked my thirty years' good character, the gravity of my demeanour, the grey of my whiskers ; I confessed to twenty other minor misdemeanours — a taste for practical jokes, a love of cribbage and long whist ; I went further — ^I expressed a kind of St. Kevenism about women in general ; but she cut me short with " Pray, Mr. D., make one exception ; do be gallant enough to say that there is one, at least, not included iu this category of horrors." " What are you at now ?" cried I, almost losing aU patience. " Yes, Sir," said ^he, in a grand melodramatic tone, that she alvsrays reserves for the peroration — as postilions keep a trot for the town — " yes. Sir, I am well accustomed to your perfidy and dissimulation. I know perfectly for what infamous purposes abroad, your family are treated so ignominiously at home ; I'm no stranger to your doings." I tried to stop her by an appeal to common sense — she despised it. I invoked my age — egad ! I never put my foot in it till then. That was exacstly what made me the greatest vUlaiu of all! "Whatever veneration attaches to white hairs, it must be owned they get mighty iU treated, in discuasions like the present — at least, Mrs. D. assured me so, and gave me to understand that one pays a higher premium for their morality, as they do for their life-assurance, as they grow older. " ]?^ot," added she, as her eyes glittered with anger, and she sidled near the door for an exit — " not but, in the estimation of others, you may be quite an Adonis — a young gentleman of wit and fashion — a beau of the first water ; I have no doubt Mary Jane thinks so — you old wretch !" This, in alt, and a bang of the door that brought down an oil picture that hung over it, closed the scene. " Maxy Jane thioks so !" said I, with my hand to my temples to col- lect myself. Ah, Tom ! it would have required a cooler head than mine was at that moment, to go hunting through the old archives of memory 1 Nor will I torment you with even a narrative of my strug- gles. I passed that evening and the night in a state of half distrac- tion ; and it was only when I was giving one of our Lawyers a check the next morning that I unravelled the mystery ; for as I wrote down his name I perceived it was Marie Jean de Eastanac — a not uncommon Christian name for men, though, consideriag the length and breadth of the masculine calendar, a very needless appropriation. THE DODD I'AMILX ABEOAJ). 55 This was " Mary Jane," then, and this the origin of as pretty a conjugal flare-up as I remember for the last twelvemonth ! Mrs. D. remiuds me of the Opposition, and the Opposition of Vickers. I suppose he wants to be a Lord of the Treasury. It's very like what old 3?rederic used to caU making a " Goat a Grar- dener." Wtat rogues the feEows are! Tou write to them about your son or your nephew, and they answer you with some tawdry balderdash about their principles, as if any one of ua ever believed they were troubled with principles ! I'm all for fair straightforward dealuig. Put James in the Board of Trade, and you may cut up the Cafires for ten years to come. Give us something iu the Customs, and I don't care if New Zealand never has a Constitution ! 'Tis only the fellows that have no families ask questions at the hustings ! Show me a man that wants pledges from his representative, and I'll show you one that has got none from his wife ! And there's Vickers writing to me, as if I was a fool, about aJl the old clap-traps that we used to think were kept for the election dinner ; and these chaps Uke him always spoil a good argument when they get hold of it. INow, when a Parson hasn't tact enough to write his ser- mons, he buys a volume of TUlotson or Blair, or any other, and reads one out as weE. as he can ; but your Member — God bless the mark ! — must invent his own nonsense. How much better if he'd give yon Peel, or EusseU, or Ben Disraeli in the original ! There are skeleton sermons for drowsy curates. I wish any one would compose skeleton speeches for the county Members. Tou'U say that I am unreasonably testy about these things — but I've got a letter this instant from Vickers, expressing his hope that I'll be satisfied with the view he has taken on the " question of free-labour sugar." Did I ever dispute it, Tom ? I drink no tea — I hate sweet things, and except a lump, and that a small one, that I take in my tmnbler of punch, I never use sugar ; and I care no more what's the colour of the man that raises it, than I do for the name of the supercargo that brought it over. Don't put cock- roaches in it, and sell it cheap, and I don't care a brass farthing whether it grew in Barbary or Barbadoes ! Not, my dear Tom, but it's all gammon, the way they discuss the question ; for the two parties are always debating two diiferent issues ; one, crying out cheap sugar, the other, no slavery ! and the consequence is, they never meet in argu- ment. As to the preference Vickers insists should be given to free- labour sugar, carry out the principle and see what it comes to. I ought to receive eight or ten shillings a barrel more for my wheat than old Joe M'Ourdy, because I always gave my labourers eight- pence a day, and he never went higher than sixpence, more often four- 56 THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAD. pence. Is not tLat free-labour and slavery, just as well exemplified as if every man ia the Barony was a black ? They tell me the niggers won't work if you don't thrash them, and I don't wonder when I think of the heat of the climate ; but sure if they've more idleness, they ought to get less money ; and lastly, I take the Abolitionists — bother it for a long word ! — on their own ground, and are they prepared to say, that if you impose a duty on slave sugar, that the Cubans and the rest of them won't only take more out of the niggars to meet "the exigency of the market," as the Newspapers call it. If they do so, they'll only be imitating our own farmers, since the repeal of the Corn-law. " Ton must bestir yourselves," says Lord Stanley ; " competition with the foreigner will demand all your activity. It won't do to go on as you used. Ton must buy guano-^' take to drainage — study Smith of Deanstown, and mind the rotation of your crops." Don't you think that some enlightened Cuban wiU hit upon the same train of argument, and make a fresh investment in whipcord ? Ah, Tom ! these are only party squabbles after all ! and so I told Vickers. I don't know why, but it always seemed to me that the Blacks absorb a very unfair amount of our loose sympathies ; whether it's the colour of them, or that they're so far away, or because they're naked, I never knew ; but certain it is, we pity them far more than our own people, and I back myself to get up a Ladies' Committee for a Nigger question, before you eoUect three people to hear you dis- cuss a home grievance. I have just been interrupted to receive Mon. JeUicot, my defender in action No. 3, a suit preferred by my late Courier, " Fran9ois Tehetuer, born in the Canton of Zug, aged thirty-seven years, single, and a Protestant, against Mon. Kenyidod, natif d'Irelande, pres de Dublin, dans la Eoyaume de la Grande Bretagne," Ac, &c. ; the demand being for a year's wages, bed, board, and travelling expenses to his native country. He, the aforesaid !Fran9ois, having been sent away for a disgraceful riot in my house, in which he beat Pat, the other ser- vant, and smashed about five-and-twenty pounds' worth of glass and china. A very pretty claim, Tom — the preliminary resistance to which has already cost me about one hundred and fifty francs to remove the litigation into an Upper Court, where the bribery is higher, aud consequently deemed more within the reach of my finances than those of honest Prancis ! To tell you all that I think of the rascality of the administration of justice here, would lead me into a diffusiveness something like that of the pleasant " M^moire" which my Advocate has just left me to read, and in which, as a measure of defence against an iniquitous demand, THE BODD I'AMILT ABEOAB. 57 I'm obliged to give a short history of my life, with some account of my Pather and Grandfather. I made it as brief as I could, and said nothing about the mortgages nor Hackett'a bond ; but even with all my conciseness, the thing is Tery voluminous. The greatest difficulty of all is the examination of Paddy Byrne, who, imagining that a law process cannot have any other object than either to hang or transport Mm, has already made two efforts at escape, and each time been brought back by the police. His repugnance to the course of justice has already damaged my case with my own defender, who, naturally enough, thinks if my own witnesses are so little to my credit, what will be the opposite evidence ? Another of my " Causes celebres," as Gary calls them — she is the only one of us has a laugh left in her — ^is for the assault and bat- tery of a certain Mr. Cherry, a little rascal that came one day to tell me that Mrs. D.'s appearance struck him as being more fasci- nating than respectable ! I kicked him down stairs into the street, and in return he has dragged me into the Court of the Correctional PoHce, where I'm told they'll maul me far worse than I did him ; be- sides this, I have a small interlude suit for a breach of contract, in not taking a lodging next an Anatomy School ; and lastly, James's duel ! I have compromised fully double the number, and have re- ceived vague threats from different quarters, that may either mean being waylaid or prosecuted, as the case may be. So far, therefore, as economy goes, this Continentalizing has not succeeded up to this. Instead of Hving rent free at Dodsborough, with our own mutton and turnips, the ducks and peas, that cost us, I may say, nothing, here we are, keeping up the price of foreign mar- kets, and feeding the foreigners at the expense of our own poor people. If, instead of excluding British manufactures from the Continent, Bony had only struck out the notion of seducing over here John Bull himself and his family, let me assure you, Tom, that he'd have done us far more lasting and irreparable mischief. "We can do without their markets. What between their ZoUvereins, their hostile tariffs, and troublesome trade restrictions, they have themselves taught us to do without them ; and indeed, except when we get up a row at Bar- celona, and smuggle five or six hundred thousand pounds' worth of goods into Spain, we care little for the old Continent ; but I'U tell you what we cannot do without — ^we cannot do without their truffled turkeys, their tenors, their men-cooks, and their dancing-women. IVench novels and Italian knavery have got a fast hold of us ; and I doubt much if the polite world of England wouldn't rather see this 58 THE BODB TAMILT ABEOAD. country cut off from all the eommerce of America than be themealTes excluded from the wiofced old cities of Europe ! When I think of myself holding these opinions, and still Hying abroad, I almost fancy I was meant for a Parliamentary life ; for assuredly my convictions and my actions are about as contradictory as any honourable or right honourable gentleman on either side of the House. But so it is, Tom. — "Whatever's the reason of it I can't tell, but I beUeve in my heart that every Irishman is always doing something or other that he doesn't approve of ; and that this is the real secret of that want of conduct, deficient steadiness, uncertainty of pxirpose, and all the other faults that our polite neighbours ascribs to us, and what the Times has a word of its own for, and sets shraiily dovm as "'Celtic barbarism." And between ourselves, the Times is too fond of blackguarding us. What's the use of it ? What good does it ever do ? I may throw mud at a man every day tiU the end of the world, but I'll never make his face the cleaner for it 1 The same system we used to follow once vrith America ; and at last, what with sneering and jibing, we got up a worse feeling be- tween the two countries than ever existed in the very heat of the war. No matter how stupid the writer, how little he saw, or how ill he told it, let a fellow come back from the United States with a good string of stories about whittling, spitting, and chewing, interlard the narrative with a fuU share of slang, show up Jonathan as a vulgar, obtrusive, self-important animal, boastful and ignoraiut, and I'U back the book to run through its two ox three editions with a devouring and delighted public. But what would you think of a man that went down to Leeds or Manchester, to look at some of our great factories at full work ; who saw the evidences of our enterprise and industry, that are felt at the uttermost ends of the earth ; who knew that every bang of that big piston had its responsive answer in some far- away land over the sea, where British skill and energy were diffusing comfort and civilisation; what, I say, would you think of him if, instead of standing amaaed at the futiure before such a people, he sat down to chronicle how many fustiajn jackets had holes in them, how many shaved but twice a week, whether the overseer made a poliliB bow, or the time-keeper tallced with a strong Yorkshire accent ? I tell you, Tom, our travellers in the States did little other tham this. I don't mean to say that it wouldn't be pleasamter and prettier to look at, if all the factory-folk were dressed Kke Young England, with white waistcoats amd cravats, and all the young ladies wore silk petticoats and white satin shoes ; but I'm afraid that, considering THE BODD SAMILT ABEOAB. 59 the work to do, that's searcely practicable ; and so with regard to America, considering the work to do, aye, Tom, and the way they are doing it, I'm not over-disposed to be critical about certain asperities that are sare to rub off ia time, particularly if we don't sharpen them into spikes by our own awkward attempts to polish them. If I was able, I'd Kke to write a book about America. I'd like to inquire first, if seeing the problem that the Yankees are trying to solve, the way they have set about it is the best and the shortest ? I'd like, too, to study what secret machinery combines a weak Grovem- ment and a strong people — the very reverse of what we see in the old world, where the Grovemments are strong and the people weaik ? I'd like to find out, if I could, why people that, for the most part, have formed the least subordinate populations of the Old World, behave so remarkably well in the New ? In running off into these topics, Tom, I suppose I'm Kke every one else, who, in proportion as his own affairs become embarrassed, takes a wonderful interest in those of his neighbours. Half the patriotism in the world comes out of the Bankruptcy Courts ! And here's Monsieur Grabriel Dulong, "for my instructions in ve Cherry," as if to recal me from foreign affairs, and once more bring back my wandering thoughts to the Home Office. Write to me, Tom, and send me money. Tou have no idea how it goes here ; and as for the Bankers, I never met the Kke of them ! The exchange is always against you, and if you want a ten-pound English note, they'K make you smart for it. The more I see of this foreign Kfe, the less I Kke it. I know that we have been unfortunate in one or two respects. I know that it is rash in me to speak on so brief an acquaintance with it, but I already dread our being more intimate. Mrs. D. is not the woman you knew her. No more thrift, no more saving — none of that looking after trifles, that however we may laugh at in our wives, we are right glad to profit by. She has taken a new turn, and fancies, Grod forgive her ! that we have an elegant estate, and a fine, thriving, solvent tenantry. Wherever the delusion came from, I cannot guess ; but I'm certain that the little slip of sea between Dover and Oailais is the origin of more false notions and extrasvagant fancies than the wide Atlantic ! I have been thinking for some days back that you ought to write me a strong letter — ^you know what I mean, Tom — a strong letter about matters at home. There's no great difficulty, when a man Kves in Ireland, to make out a good list of grievances. Give it to tib, then, and let us have our fill of rotten potatoes. 60 THE DODD TAMILT ABEOAB. blighted wheat, runaway tenants, and workhouse riots. Throw m a murder if you like, but make it " strong," Tom. Say that, consi- dering the cheapness of the Continent, we draw a terrible sight of money, and add that you can't imagiae what we do with the cash. Put " Strictly peitate and confidential" on the outside, and I'll take care to be out of the way when it comes. Tou can guess that Mrs. D. will soon open it, and perhaps it may give her a shock. Isn't it hard that I have to go about the bush in this way ? but that's what we're come to. If I hint a word about expense, they look on me as if I was Shylock ; and I believe they'd rather hear me blaspheme than say the phrase " economy." I think, from what I see in James, that he's fretting about this very same thing ! He didn't say exactly that, but he dropped a remark the other day that showed me he was grieved by the turn for dress and finery that Mrs. D. and Mary Anne have taken up ; and one of the nurses that sat up with him, told me that he used to sigh dreadfully at times, and mutter broken expressions about money ! To teU you the truth, Tom, I'd go back to-morrow, if I could. "And why can't you ? — what prevents you, Kenny?" I hear you say. Just this, then, I haven't the pluck ! I couldn't stand the attack of Mrs. D. and her daughter. I'm not equal to it. My constitution isn't what it used to be, and I'm afraid of the gout. At my time of life, they say it always flies to the heart or to the head — ^maybe be- cause there's a vacancy in these places after fifty-six or seven years of age ! I see, too, by the looks Mrs. D. gives Mary Anne occa- sionally, that they know this ; and she often gives me to understand that she doesn't wish to dispute with me, for reasons of her own. This is all very weU, and kindly meant, Tom, but it throws me into a depression that is dreadful. I see by the papers that you've taken up all kinds of " Sanitary Questions" at home. As for the health of towns, Tom, the grand thing is not to suffer them to grow too big. Tou're always crying out about twelve people sleeping in one room somewhere, and you gave the ages of each of them- in the Times, and you grow moral and modest, and I don't know what else, about decency, destitution, and so forth ; but what's London itself but the very same thing on an enlarged scale ? It's nonsense to fret about a wart, when you have a wen in the same neighbourhood ! Not that I'm sorry to see fine folk taking trouble about what concerns the poor, particularly when they go about it sensibly and quietly, without any balderdash of little books, and, above all, without a Ladies' Committee. If there's any- thing chokes me, it's a Ladies' Committee. Three married women pn THE DODD TAMILT ABBOAS. 61 bad terms with their husbands, four widows, and five old maids, all prying, pedantic, and impertinent — going loose about the world with little subscription-cards, decrying innocent pleasures, and decoying your children's pocket-money — turning Benevolence into a house-tax, and making Charity like the " Pipe- water." Tou remark, too, that the pretty women won't join these gangs at all. Now and then you may see one take out a letter of marque, and cruise for herself, but never in company. Seeing the importunity of these old damsels, I often wondered why the Government never thought of employing ladies as 'tax-collectors. He'd be a hardy man who'd make one or two I could mention, call twice. I have been turning over in my mind what you said about Dods- borough ; and though I don't like the notion of giving a lease, still it's possible we might do it without much danger. " He is an Eng- lishman,"- you say, " that has never lived in Ireland." Now, my notion is, Tom, that if he be as old as you say, it's too late for him to try. They're a mulish, obstinate, unbending kind of people, these English; and wherever you see them, they never conform to the habits of the people. After thirty years' experience of Ireland, you'U hear them saying that they cannot accustom themselves to the " lies and the climate !" If I have heard that same remark once, I've heard it fifty times. And what does it amount to but a confession that they won't take the world as they find it. Ireland is rainy, there's no doubt, and Paddy is fond of telling you what he thinks is agreeable to you — a kind of native courtesy, just like his offering you his potato, when he knows, in Lis heart, that he can't spare it — but he gives it, nevertheless. I'd say, then, we might let him have Dodsborough, on the chance that he'd never stay sis months there, and perhaps in the mean while we'd find out another Manchester gentleman to succeed him. I re- member poor old Dycer used to seU a little chestnut mare every Saturday — nobody ever kept her a fortnight — and when she died, by jumping over Bloody-bridge into the Liflfey, and killed herself and her rider, Dycer said, " There's four-and-twenty pounds a year lost to we" — and so it was, too ! Think over this, and tell me your mind on it. I believe I told you of the Polish Count that we took with us to Waterloo. I met him yesterday with my cloak on him ; but really the number of my legal embroilments here is so great, that I was shy of arresting him. "We hear a great deal of talk about the partition of Poland, and there is an English Lord keeps the subject for his own especial holdings forth ; but I am convinced that the greatest evil of that nefarious act lies in having thrown aU these Polish fellows broadcast over Europe. I wish it was a kingdom to-morrow, if they'd 62 THE DODD I'AMIIiX ABBOAB. only consent to stay tkere. To be well rid of tliem and their sympar thisers, wliom I own I like eyen less, would be a great blessing just now. I wiak the Times would stop' blackguarding Louis Napoleoiu. If the Prench Hke being buUied^ what is that to, us ? My own no- tion is, that the people and their ruler are' wel met ; besides, if we only reflect a little on it, we'll see that anything is better for ns than a Bourbon — I don't care what branch ! They- are under too deep obligations) to us, and have too often accepted of English hospi- tality, not to hate us; and bate us they do. I belieye the first iVenchman that: cherishes an undying animosity to England is your Legitimist ; next to him, comes the Orleanist. It's a straiage thing, but the more I have to think of about my own affairs, and the worse they are goiag with me, the more my thoughts run after politics and the newspapers. I suppose that's all for the best, and that if one dwelled too much on their own troubles, their head wouldn't stand it. You've seen a trick the horse jockos have when a horse goes lame of one foot — to pinch him a Ettle with the shoe of the opposite one ; and it's not bad philosophy to practise mentally, and you may preserve your equanimity, just by putting on the load fairly. And so it is, I try to divert my thoughts from mort- gages, creditors, and Chancery, by wondering howtfafiKingof ISTaples mil contrive to keep his throne, and how the Austrians wiU save themselves from bankruptcy ! I know it would be more to the pur- pose if I turned my thoughts to getting Mary Anne married, and James into the Eoard of Trade ; at least, so Mrs. D. tells me, and although she is always repeating the old saw about " marriage beiag made ia heaven," she evidently doesn't wish to give too much trouble in that quarter, and would like to lend a hand herself to the work. Jellicot has sent his clerk here to tell me that I have been pro- nounced " Contumacious," for not appearing somewhere, and before somebody that I never heard of! Egad! these kind of proceedings are scarcely calculated to develop the virtues of humanity ! They sent me something I thought was a demand for a tax, and it turns' out a Judge's warrant ; for aught I know, there may be am order to seize the body of Kenny James Dodd, and consign him to the dun- geons of the Inquisition ! Write to me at once, Tom, and, above all, don't forget the money. YoTJTS, most faithfully, K. I. Dodd. Why does Molly Gallagher keep pestering me about Christy? She wants me to get him into the " Grand CanaL" I wish they were both there, vrith all my heart. THE DODD FAMIIT ABBOAD, 63 I open this to say that Vickers has just sent me a copy of his address to the " Independent Electors of Bruff.' ' I'd like to see one of them, for the curiosity of the thing. He asks me to give him my opinion of the document, aaid the " henefit of my advice and counsel," as if I had not been reading the very same productions since I was a child. The very phraseology is unaltered. "Why can't they liit on some- thing new ? He " hopes that he restores to them, unsullied, the high trust they had committed to his keeping." Egad! if he does so, he ought to get a patent for taking out spots, staias, and discolora- tions, for a dirtier garment than our representative mantle has been, would be hard to find. Like: all our Patriots that sit iu "Whig company, he is sorely puzzled between his love for Ireland and his regard for himself, and has to limit his political Hne to a number of vague threats about overgrown Church Establishments and Landlord tyranny, not being quite sure how far his friends in power are disposed to worry the Protestants and grind the gentry. Of course he butters up the Pastors of the People ; but he might as weU leave that alone; the Priests are too cunning for all that balderdash, now-a-days. They'll insist on something real, tangible, and substantial. "What they say is this : " The Landlords used to have it all their own way at one time. Ov/r day is come, now." And there they're right, Tom ; there's no doubt of it. O'Connell said true, when he told the English " Te're always abusing me — you call me the ' curse of Ireland' and the destroyer of the Public Peace — but wait a bit. I'U not be five years in my grave tUl you'd wish me back again." There never was anything more certain. So long as you had Dan to deal with, you could make your bargain — it might be, it often was, a very hard one — but, when it was once made, he kept the terms fairly and honestly ! But with whom wUl you treat now ? Is it with M'Hale, or Paul CuUen, or Doctor Meyler .P Sure each of them wUl demand separate and specific conditions, and you might as weU try to settle the Cafire war by a compact with SandUla, who, the moment he sells himself to you, enters into secret cor- respondence with his successor. I'm never so easy in my mind as when I see the English in a row with the Catholics. I don't care a brass farthing how much it may go against us at first — how enthusiastically they may yell " No Popery," burn Cardinals in effigy, and persecute the Nuns. Give them rope enough, Tom, and see if they don't hang themselves ! There never came a fit of rampant Protestantism in England that all the weak, rash, and ridiculous zealots didn't get to the head of the 64 THE DODD rAMILT ABEOAD. movement. Off they go at score, subsidizing renegade vagabonds of our Churcb to abuse us, rating up bad stories of Conventual life, and attacking the Confessional. There never were guUs Uke them ! They swallow all the cases of cruelty and persecution at once — they foster every scoundrel, if he's only a deserter from us — aye, and they even take to their fireplaces the filthiest novels of Eugene Sue, if he only satisfies their rancorous hate of a Jesuit. And where does it end ? I'U tell you. Their converts turn out to be scoundrels too in- famous for common contact — their prosecutions fail — ^why wouldn't they, when we get them up ourselves ? — John BuU gets ashamed of himself — round comes the Press, and that's the moment when any young rising Catholic Barrister in the House can make his own terms, whether it be to endow the true Church, or to smash the false one! As for John BuU, he never can do mischief enough, when he's in a passion, but he's always ready to pay double the damage ia the morning. And as for putting " salt on our tads," let him try it with the " Dove of Elphin," that's aU. I was forgetting to teU you that I sent back Yickers's address, only remarking that I was sorry not to know bis sentiments about the Board of Trade. Ver. sap. THE DODD TAMILT ABEOAD. 65 LETTBE X. CAROLINE SODD TO MISS COX, AT MISS MIKCIKG's ACADEMY, BLACK BOCK, IRELAND. Mt deae Miss Cox, I HATE long hesitated and deliberated with myself whether it were not better to appear ungrateful by my silence, than by writiag inflict you with a very tiresome, good-for-nothrag epistle ; and if I have now taken the worse counsel, it is because I prefer anything rather than seem forgetful of one to whom I owe so much as to my dear, kind GoTerness. "Were I only to teU you of our adventures and mishaps since we came abroad, there might, perhaps, be enough to fill half a dozen letters; but I greatly doubt if the theme would amuse you. Tou were always too good-natured to laugh at anything where there was even one single feature that suggested sorrow ; and I grieve to say, that however ludicrously many of our accidents might read, there is yet mixed with them too much that is painful and distressing. Tou wiU say, this is a very gloomy opening, and &om one whom you had so often to chide for the wild gaiety of her spirits ; but so it is, I am sad enough now — sadder than ever you wished to see me. It is not that I am not in the very midst of objects fuU of deep interest — it is not that I do not recognise around me scenes, places, and names, all of which are imbued with great and stirring associations. I am neither indifferent nor callous, but I see everything through a false medium, and I hear everything with a perverted judgment; in a word, we seem to have come abroad, not to derive the advantages that might arise from new sources of knowledge in language, literature, and art, but to scramble for a higher social position — to impose our- selves on the world for something that we have no pretension to, and to live in a way we cannot afford. Tou remember us at Dods- borough — ^how happy we were, how satisfied with the world — that is, with our world, for it was a very little one. We were not very great folk, but we had all the consideration as if we were ; for there were none better off than ourselves, and few had so many opportu- nities of winning the attachment of all classes. Papa was always known as the very best of landlords, Mamma had not her equal for charity and kindness, James was actually adored by the people, and I hesitate not to say that Mary Anne and myself were not r 66 THE DOBD TAMIIT A3E0AD. friendless. There was a little daily round of duties that brought us aU together ia our cares and sympathies ; for however different our ages or tastes, we had but one class of subjects to discuss, and, hap- pily, we saw them always with the same light and shadow. Our Hfe was, in short, what fashionable people would have deemed a very vulgar, inglorious kind of existence ; but it was full of pleasant little incidents, and a thousand little cares and duties, that gave it abundant variety and interest. I was never a quick scholar, as you know too well. I have tried my dear Miss Cox's patience sorely and often, but I loved my lessons ; I loved those calm hours in the sum- mer-house, with the perfume of the rose and the sweet-briar around us, and the hum of the bee mi-ngling its song with my own not less drowsy French. That sweet " Telemachus," so easy and so softly- sounding ; that good Madame de Genlis, so simple-minded when she thought herself most subtle. Not less did I love the little old school- room of a winter's day, when the pattering rain streamed down the windows, and gave, by contrast, all the aspect of more comfort within. How pleasaait was it, as we gathered round the turf fire, to think that we were surrounded with such appliances against gloomy hours — the healthful exercise of happy minds ! Ah, my dear Miss Cox, how often you told us to study hard, since that, once launched upon the great sea of Hfe, the voyage would exact all our cares ; and yet see, here am I upon that wide ocean, and already longiag to regain the quiet little creek— the little haven of rest that I quitted ! I promised to be very candid with you — ^to conceal nothing whatever —but I did not remember that my confessions, to be thus frank, must necessarily involve me in remarks on others, in which I may be often unjust — in which I am certaia to be unwarranted — since nothing in my position entitles me to be their Censor. However, I will keep my pledge this once, and you will tell me afterwards, if I should continue to observe it. And now to begin. We are living here as though we were people of vast fortune. We occupy the chief suite of apart- ments at the first hotel, and we have a carriage, with showy liveries, a Courier, and are quite beset with masters of every language and accomplishment you can fancy — expensive kind of people, whose very dress and style bespeak the terms on which their services are rendered. Our visitors are all titled : Dukes, Princes, and Princesses, shower amongst our cards. Our invitations are from the same class, and yet, my dear Miss Cox, we feel all the imreality of this high and stately existence. "We look at each other and think of Dodsborough? We think of Papa in his old fustian shooting-jacket, paying the labourers, and higgling about half a day to be stopped, here, and a THE BOBD TAMILT ABEOAD. 67 sack of meal to be deducted, there. "We think of Mamma's injunctions to Darby Sloan about the price he is to get for the " boneens" — have you forgotten our vernacular for little pigs ? — and how much he must " be sure to ask" for the turkeys. "We think of Mary Anne and myself takmg our lesson from Mr. Delaney, and learning the Quad — drilles, as he pronounced it, as the last new discovery of the dancing art, and dear James hammering away at the rule of three on an old slate, to try and qualify himself for the Board of Trade. And we remember the utter consternation of the household — the tumult dashed with a certain sense of pride — when some Subaltern of the detachment at Bruff cantered up to the door and sent in his name ! Dear me, how the little words 25th Eegiment, or 91st, used to make our hearts beat, suggestive as they were of gay Balls at the Town-hall with red-coated paartners, the regimental band and the colours tastefully festooning the whitewashed walls. And now, my dear Miss Sarah, we are actually ashamed of the contact with one of those whom once it was our highest glory to be acquainted with ! Tou may remember a cer- taiu Captain Morris, who was stationed at Bruff — dark, with very black eyes, and most beautiful teeth ; he was very silent in company, and, indeed, we knew him but slightly, for he chanced to have some altercation with Pa on the Bench one day, and, as I hear, he was all in the right, Pa did not afterwards forgive him. "Well, here he is now, having left the Army — I don't know if on half-pay, or sold out altogether — but here he is, travelling for the benefit of his Mother's health — a very old and infirm lady — to whom he is dotingly attached. She fretted so much when she discovered that his regiment was ordered abroad to the Cape, that he had no other resource than to leave the service ! He told me so himself. " I had nobody else in the world," said he, " who felt any interest in my fortunes : she had made a hundred sacrifices for me. It was but fair I should make one for her." He knew he was surrendering position and prospect for ever — that to him no career could ever open again; but he had placed a duty high above all considerations of self, and so, he parted with comrades and pursuit, with everything that made up his hope and his object, and descended to a little station of unobtrusive, undistinguished humility, satisfied to be the companion of a poor, feeble old lady ! He has as much as confessed to me that their means are very small. It was an accidental admission with reference to something he thought of doing, but which he found to be too expensive, and the avowal was made so easily, so frankly, so free from any false shame on one side, or any un- worthy desire to entrap sympathy on the other ! It was aa if he i2 68 THE DOUD TAMILT ABEOAB. spoke of soinething whicli indeed concerned him, but in nowise gave th.e mainspring to his thoughts or actions ! He came to visit us here ; but his having left the service, coupled with our present taste for grand acquaintance, were so little in his favour, that I believed he would not have repeated his call. An accidental service, however, that he was enabled to render Mamma and Mary Anne at a railroad station the other day, and where but for him they might have been involved in considerable difficulties, has opened a chance of further intimacy, for he has already been here two mornings, and is comittg this evening to tea. Ton will, perhaps, ask me how and by what chain of circumstances Captain Morris is linked with the earlier portion of this letter, and I will teU you. It was from him that I learned the history of those high and distinguished individuals by whom we are surrounded ; from him I heard that, supposing us to be people of immense wealth, a whole web of iutrigiie has been spun around us, and everything that the iugenuity and craft of the professional adventurer could devise put in requisition to trade upon our supposed affluence and inexperience ! He has told me of the dangerous companions by whom James is sur- rounded ; and if he has not spoken so freely about a certain young Nobleman — Lord G-eorge Tiverton — who is now seldom or never out of the house, it is because that they have had something of a personal difference — a serious one, I suspect, and which Captain Morris seems to reckon as a bar to anything beyond the merest mention of his name. It is not impossible, too, that though he might not make any revelations to me on such a theme, he would be less guarded with Papa or James. "Whatever may be the fact, he does not advance at all in the good graces of the others. Mamma calls him a Dry Crust — a confirmed old Bachelor. Mary Anne and Lord George — for they are always in partnership in matters of opinion — ^have set him down as a " Military Prig;" and Papa, who is rarely unjust in the long run, says that " There's no guessing at the character of a fellow of small means, who never goes in debt." This may or may not be true ; but it is certainly hard to condemn him for an honourable trait, simply because it does not give the key to his nature. And now, my last hope is what James may think of him, for as yet they have not met. I think I hear you echo my words, and why your " last hope," Miss Cary ? "What possible right have you to express yourself m these terms ? Simply because I feel that one man of true and honourable sentiments — one right-judging, right-feeling gentleman, is aU-essential to us abroad ! and if we reject this chance, I'm not so sure we shall meet with another. THE BOED FAMILY ABEOAr. 69 How ashamed I am not to "be able to tell you of all I have seen. But so it is — description is a very tame performance, in good hands ; it is a lamentable exhibition, in weak ones ! As to painters, I prefer Vandyk to Eubens ; not that I have even the pretence of a reason for my criticism. I know nothing whatever of what constitutes excellence in colour, drawing, or design. I understand in a picture only what it suggests to my own mind, either as a correct copy of nature, or as originating new trains of thought, new sources of feel- ing ; and by these tests Vandyk pleases me more than his master. But, shall I own it, there is a class of pictures of a far inferior order that gives me greater enjoyment than either — 1 mean those scenes of real life — ^those representations of some little xmeventful incident of the every-day world — an old Chemist at work in his dim old labo- ratory ; an old house Vrow knitting in her red-tiled chamber, the sun- light slanting in, and tipping with an azure tint the tortoisesheU cat that purrs beside her ; a lover teaching his mistress the guitar ; an old Cavalier giving his horse a drink at a fountain. These, in all the life-like power of Gerard Dow, Teerburgh, or Mieris, have a charm for me I cannot express. They are stories, and they are better than stories, for oftentimes the Writer conveys his meaning imperfectly, and oftentimes he overlays you with his explanations, stifling within you those expansive bursts of sentiment that ought to have been his aim to evoke, and thus, by elaborating, he obliterates. Now, your Artist — I mean, of course, your great Artist — is eminently suggestive. He gives you but one scene, it is true, but how full is it of the past, and the future too ! Can you gaze on that old Alchemist, with his wrinkled forehead, and dim, deep-set eyes, his threadbare doublet, and his fingers tremulous from age — can you watch that coiuite- nance, calm, but careworn, where every line exhibits the long struggle there has been between the keen perceptions of science and the golden dreams of enthusiasm — where the coldest passions of a worldly nature have warred with the most glorious attributes of a poetic temperament ? Can you see him, as he sits watching the Alembic, wherein the toil of years is bubbling, and not weave within your own mind the life- long conflict he has sustained ? Have you him not before you in his humble home, secluded and forgotten of men ! yet inhabiting a dream-world of crowded images ? "What beautiful stories — what touching little episodes of domestic life — lie in the quiet scenes of those quaint interiors ; and how deep the charm that attaches one to these peaceful spots of home happiness ! The calm intellectuality of the old — the placid loveliness of the young — the air of cultivated enjoyment that pervades all — are in such perfect keeping, that you 70 THE DOBD FAMILY ABEOAD. feel as though they imparted to yourself some share of that gentle, tranquil pleasure, that forms their ovvti atmosphere ! Oh, my dear Miss Cox ! if there be " sermons in stones," there are romances in pictures — and romances far more truthful than the cir- culating libraries supply us with. And, to turn back to real life, shall I own to you that I am sadly disappointed with the gay world. I am fuUy alive to aU the value of the confession. I appreciate per- fectly how double-edged is the weapon of this admission, and that I am, in reality, but pleading guilty to my own unfitness for its enjoy- ments ; but as I never tried to evade or deny that &ct, I may be suffered to give my testimony with so much of qualification. When I compare the little gratification that society confers on the very highest classes, with the heartfelt deEght intercourse imparts to the humble, I am at a loss to see wherein lies the advantage of aU. the exclusive regulations of fashionable Hfe. Of one thing I feel as- sured, and that is, that one must be born in a certain class, habitu- ated from the earliest years to its ideas and habits, filled with its peculiar traditions, and animated by its own special hopes, to con- form gracefully and easily to its laws. We go into socieiy to pra:- form a pairt — just as artificial a one as any in a genteel Comedy — and, consequently, are too much occupied with " our character " to derive that benefit from intercourse which is so attainable by those less constrained by circumstances. If all this amounts to the simple confession that I am by no means at home in the great world, and far more at my ease with more humble associates, it is no more than the fact, and comes pretty near to what you often remarked to me : that, " in criticising external objects, one is very frequently but de- lineating little traits and lineaments of their own nature." I am unable to answer your question about our future plans ; for, indeed, they appear anything but fixed. I believe, if Papa had his choice, he would go back at once. This, however, Mamma will not hear of; and, indeed, the word Ireland is now as much under ban amongst us, as that name that is never " syllabled to ears polite." The Doctors say, James ought to pass a month or sis weeks at Schwal- bach, to drink the waters and take the baths ; and, from what I can learn, the place is the perfection of rural beauty and quietude. Cap- tain Morris speaks of it as a little Paradise. He is going there him- self; for I have learned — though not from him — that he was badly wounded in the Affghan war. I wiU write to you whenever our destination is decided on ; and, meanwhile, beg you to believe me my dear Miss Cox's Most attached and faithful pupil, Caeoline Dodd. THE BOBD FAMILY ABEOAD. 71 LETTEE XI. ME. DODD TO THOMAS PURCELL, ESQ., OF THE GRANOB, BEUFF. Deab Tom, I GOT the bills all safe, and cashed two of them yesterday. They came at the right moment — when does not money? — for we are going to leave this for Germany, one of the watering-places there, the name of which I cannot trust myself to speU, being recommended for James's wound. I suppose I'm not singular, but somehow I never ■was able to compute what I owed in a place till I was about to leave it. From that moment, however, in come a shower of bills and accounts that one never dreamed of. The Cook you discharged three months before has never paid for the poultry, and you have as many hens to your score as if you were a fox. You've lost the fishmonger's receipts, and have to pay him over again for a whole Lent's consump- tion. Tour Courier has run up a bill in your name for cigars and Curapoa, and your wife's maid has been conducting the most liberal operations in perfumery and cosmetics, under the title of her mistress. Then comes the Landlord, for repairs and damages. Every creaky sofa and cracked saucer that you have been treating for six months with the deference due to their delicate condition, must be replaced by new ones. Every window that wouldn't shut, and every door that would not open, must be put in perfect order — keys replaced, bells rehung. The saucepans, whose verdigris has almost killed you with coHc, must be all returned or coppered; and, lastly, the pump is sure to be destroyed by the housemaid, and vague threats about sinking a new well are certain to draw you into a compromise. Nor is the roguery the worst of it; but all the sneaking scoundrels that wouldn't " trouble you with their little demands" before, stand out now as sturdy creditors, that would not abate a jot of their claims. Lucky are ye if they don't rake up old balances, and begin the score with " Eestant du dernier compte." The Moralists say that a man should be enabled to visit the world after his death, if he would really know the opinion entertained of him by his fellows. Until this desirable object be attainable, one ought to be satisfied with the experience obtained by change of resi- dence. There is no disguise, no concealment then ! The little ble- mishes of your temper, once borne with such Christian charity, are remembered in a more chastening spirit ; and it is half hinted that V2 THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAD, your custom was more than compensated for by your complaining querulousness. Is not the moral of aU this, that one should liye at home, in his own place, where his father lived before him, and his son will live after him — ^where the tradespeople have a vested interest in your welfare, and are nearly as anzious about your wheat and potatoes as you are yourself ? Unlike these foreign rascals, that thini you have a manufactory of " Herries and Parquhar's circular notes," and can coin at will, your neighbours know when and at what times it's no use to tease you — that asking for money at the wrong season is like expecting new peas in December, or grouse in the month of May. I make these remarks in aU the spirit of recent suffering, for I have paid away two hundred pounds since yesterday morning, of which I was not conscious that I owed fifty. And besides, I have gone through more actual fighting — in the way of bad language, I mean — than double the money would repay me for. In these wordy combats, I feel I always come off worst ; for as my knowledge of the language is limited, I'm like the sailor, that, for want of ammunition, crammed in. whatever he could lay hands on into his gun, and fired off his bag of doubloons against the enemy instead of round shot. Mrs.D., too, whom the sounds of conflict always "summon to the field," does not improve matters ; for if her vocabulary be limited, it is strong, and even the most roguish shopkeeper does not like to be called a thief and a highwayman ! These diversions in our parts of speech have cost me dearly, for I have had to compromise about six cases of " defamation," and two of threatened assault and battery, though these last went no further than demonstrations on Mrs. D.'s part, which, however, were quite sufficient to terrify our Grocer, who is a Colonel in the National Guard, and a gigantic hairdresser, whose beard is the glory of a " Sappeur company." I have discovered, be- sides, that I have done something, but what it is — in contravention to the laws — I do not know, and for which I am fined eighty-two francs fiye centimes, plus twenty-seven for contumacy ; and I have paid it now, lest it should grow into more by to-morrow, for so the Brigadier has just hinted to me, for that formidable functionary — vrith tags that would do credit to a General — is just come to " invite me," as he calls it, to the Prefecture. As these invitations are like royal ones, I must break off now, abruptly. Here I am again, Tom, after four hours of ante-chamber and audience. I had been summoned to appear before the authorities to purge myself of a contempt — for which, by the way, they had already fined me — my offence being that I had not exchanged some bit of THE DODD TAMILT ABEOAB. 73 paper for another bit of paper given me in exchange for my passport, the purport of which was to show that I, Kenny Dodd, was living openly and flagrantly in the city of Brussels, and not following out any clandestine pursuit or object injurious to the state, and subver- sive of the monarchy. "Well, I hope they're satisfied now ; and if my eighty-two francs five centimes gave any stability to their institu- tions, much good may it do them ! This, however, seems but the beginning of new troubles ; for on my applying to have the aforesaid passport " vised" for Germany, they told me that there were two " detainers" on it, in the shape of two actions at law yet undecided,, although I yesterday morning paid up what I understood to be the last instalment for compromising all suits now pending against said Kenny I. Dodd. On hearing this, I at once set out for the Tribunal to see Vauhoegen and Draek, my chief lawyers. Such a place as the Tribunal you never set eyes on. Imagine a great quadrangle, with archways all roimd, crammed full of, dirty advocates — ^black-gowned, black-faced, and black-hearted ; peasants, thieves, gaolers, tipstaifs, and the general public of fruit-sellers and lucifer-matches all mixed up together, with a turmoil and odour that would make you hope Justice was as little troubled with nose as eyesight. Over the heads of this mob you catch glimpses of the several Courts, where three old fellows, like the figures in a Holbein, sit behind a table covered with black cloth, administering the law — a solemn task that loses some of its imposing influence, when you think that these reverend seignors, if wanting in the wisdom, are not free from one of the weaknesses of Bacon ! By dint of great pressing, pushing, and perseverance, I forced my way forward into one of these tiU. I reached a strong wooden rail, or barrier, within which was an open space, where the accused sat on a kind of bench, the witness under examination being opposite to him, and the Procureur hard by in a little box like a dwarf pulpit. I thought I saw Draek ia the crowd, but I was mistaken — an easy matter, they all look so much alike. Once in, however, I thought I'd remain for a while and see the proceedings. It was a trial for Murder, as well as I could ascertain the case. The prisoner, a gentlemanlike young fellow of six or seven-and-twenty, had stabbed another in some flt of jealousy. I believe they were at supper, or were going to sup together, when the altercation occurred. There was a waiter in the witness-box giving evidence when I came up, and reaUy the tone of deference he exhibited to the prisoner, and the prisoner's own offl'-hand, easy way of interrogating him, were greatly to be admired. It was easy to see that he had got many a half-crown from the accused, and had not given up hope of many 74 THE BODB- rAMIir ABEOAD. more ia future. TTiw chief evidenxie was to the effect that Monsieur de Verteuil, the accused, had ordered a supper for two in. a private room, the bill of fare offering a wide field for discussion, one of the points of the case beiag whether the guest who should partake of the repast was a lady or the deceased ; and this the advocates on each side handled with wonderful dexterity, by inferences drawn from the " carte." Tou see, Verteuil' s counsel wanted to show that Bretigny was an intruder, and had forced himself into the company of the accused. The opposite side were for implying that he came there on inyitation, and was murdered of malice aforethought. I don't think the point would have been so very material with us ; or, at all events, that we should have tried to eHcit it in this manner ; but they have their own way of doiug things, and I suppose they know what suits them. After half an hour's veiy animated skirmishing, the President, with a sudden flash of iateUigenee, bethought him of asking the accused for whom he bespoke the entertainment. " Tou must excuse me. Monsieur le President," said he, blandly ; " but I'm sure that your nice sense of honour will show that I cannot answer your question." ' " Tres lien, tres Men," rang through the crowded court, in appre- bation of this chivalrous speech, and one young lady from the gallery flung down her bouquet of moss-roses to the prisoner, in token of her enthusiastic concurrence. The deEcate reserve of the accused seemed to touch ev«ry one. Husbands and wives, sons and daugh- ters, aU appeared to feel that they had a vested interest in the pro- pagation of such principles ; and the old Judge, who had propounded the ungracious interrogatory, really seemed a^amed of himself. The waiter soon after this retired, and. what the newspapers next day called a "sensation prononeee" was caused by the entrance of a very handsome and showy-looking young lady — no less a personage than Madlle. Catinka Lovenfeld, the Prima Donna of the Opera, and the Dido of this unhappy .Sneid. With us, the admiration of a piuetty witness is always a very subdued homage ; and even the re- porters do not like venturing beyond the phrase, " here a person of prepossessing appearance took her place on the table." They are very superior to us here, however, for the buzz of admiration swelled from the lowest benches tiU it rose to the very judicial seat itself and the old President, affecting to look at his notes, wiped his glaisses afresh, and took a sly peep at the beauty, like the rest of us. Though, as Macheath says, " Laws were made for every degree," the mode of examining witnesses admits of considerable variety. The interrogatories were now no longer jerked out \(ith abruptness ; THE DODB EAitnX ABEQAD. 75 the questions were not put witt tte categorical sternness of that frowning aspect which, be the lawyer Belgian, iFreneh^ or In^ seems an instinct with him ; on the eontraiy, the pretty witnffls was in- vited to teU her name, she was wheedled out of her birthpkce, coaxed out of her peculiar reEgious profession, and joked into saying something about her age. I must say, if she had rehearsed the part as often as- she had that of Norma, she couldn't be more perfect. Her manner was the triumph of ease and grace. There was an almost filial deference for the Bench, an air of respectful attention for the Bar, courtesy for the Jury, and a most touching shade of compassion for the Prisoner, and all this done without the slightest seeming effort. I do not pretend to know what others felt, but as for me, I paid very little attention to the matter, so much more did the manner of the inquiry engage me : still I heard that she was a Saxon by birth, of noble parentage, bom with the highest expectations, but ruined by the attachment of her father to the cause of the Emperor Napoleon. The animation with which she alluded to this parental trait elicited a most deafening biu*st of applause, and the Tipstaff, a veteran of the Imperial Guard, was carried out senseless, overcome by his emotions. Ah, Tom ! we have nothing like this in England, and strange enough that they shoidd have it here ; but the fact is, these Belgians are only " second- chop" Frenchmen — a kind of weak " after grass," with only the weeds luxuriant ! It's pretty much as with ourselves — the people that take a loan of a language never take a lease of the traditions ! They catch up just some popular clap-traps of the mother country^ but there ends the relationship ! But to come back to MadUe. Catinka. She now had got into a little narrative of her youth, in some old chateau on the Elbe, which held the Court breathless ; to be sure, it had not a great deal to say to the case in hand ; but no matter for that, a more artless, gifted, lovely, and loving creature than she appeared to have been never existed. On this last attribute she laid considerable stress. There was, I think, a little rhetorical art in the confession ; for certainly a young lady who loved birds, flowers, trees, water, clouds, and moun- tains so devotedly, might possibly have a spare comer for something else, and even the old Judge couldn't tell if he had not chanced on the lucky ticket in that lottery. I wish I could have heard the case out ; I'd have given a great deal to see how they linked all that Paul and Yirginia life with the bloody drama they were there to investi- , gate, and what possible connexion existed between TLeck's romances and sticking a man vrith a table-knife. This gratification was, how- 76 THE DODD ITAMILY ABEOAD. ever, denied me ; for juat as I was listening -with my greediest ears, Vanhoegen placed his hand on my shoulder, and whispered, " Come along — don't lose a minute — yowr cause is on!" " What do you mean ? haven't I compro " " Hush !" said he, wamingly ; " respect the majesty of the law." " With all my heart ; but what's my cause ? — ^what do you meait by my cause ?" " It's no time for explanation," said he, hurrying me along ; " the Judges are in chamber — you'll soon hear all about it." He said truly ; it was neither the fitting time nor place for much converse, for we had to fight our way through a crowd that was every moment increasing, and it took at least twenty minutes of struggle and combat to get out, my coat being slit up to the collar, and my friend's gown being reduced to something like beU-ropes. He didn't seem to think much about his damaged costume, but BtiU dragged me along, across a court-yard, up some very filthy stairs, down a dark corridor, then up another flight, and, passing into a large ante-room, where a messenger was seated in a kind of glass cage, he pushed aside a heavy curtain of green baise, and we found ourselves in a court, which, if not crowded like that below, was still sufficiently filled, and by persons of respectable exterior. There was a dead silence as we entered. The three Judges were examining their notes, and handing papers back and forward to each other in dumb show. The Procureur was picking his teeth with a paper-knife, and the Clerk of the Court munching a sandwich, which he held in his hat. Vanhoegen, however, brushed forward to a prominent place, and beckoned me to a seat beside him. I had but time to obey, when the Clerk, seeing us in our places, bolted down an enormous mouthful, and, with an efibrt that nearly choked him, cried out, " L'afiaire de Dodd fils est en audience." My heart drooped as I heard the words. The " afiaire de Dodd fils" could mean nothing but that confounded duel of which I have abeady told you. AU the misfortune and aU the criminality seemed to fall upon us. !For at least four times a week I was summoned somewhere or other, now, before a civil, now, a military auditor; and though I swore repeatedly that I knew nothing about the matter tiU it was over, they appeared to think that, ■ if I was well tortured, I might make great revelations. They were not quite wrong in their calculations. I would have turned " ap- prover" against my father, rather than gone on in this fashion. But the difficulty was, I had really nothing to tell. The little I knew had been obtained from others. Lord George had told me so much as I THE BODD FAMILY ABEOAD. 77 was acquainted with ; and, from my old habits of the Bench at tome, I^was well aware that such could not be admitted as evidence. StiU it was their good pleasure to pursue me with warrants and summonses, and there was nothing for it but to appear when and wherever they wanted me. "Is this confounded affair the cause of my passport being de- tained ?" whispered I to Yan. " Precisely," said he ; " and if not very dexterously handled, the expense may be enormous." I almost lost aU self-possession at these words. I had been a mark for legal pillage and robbery from the first moment of my arrival, and it seemed as if they would not suffer me to leave the country while I had a Napoleon remaining. Stung nearly to madness, I resolved to make one desperate effort at rescue, and, like some of those wobegone creatures in our own country who insist on personal appeals to a Chief Justice, I called, " Monsieur le President " There, how- ever, my French left me, and, after a terrible struggle to get on, I had to continue my address in the vernacular. " Who is this man ?" asked he, sternly. " Dodd pere. Monsieur le President," interposed my Lawyer, who seemed most eager to save me from the consequences of my rashness. " Ah ! he is Dodd pere," said the President, solemnly ; and now he and his two colleagues adjusted their spectacles, and gazed at me long and attentively ; in fact, with such earnestness did they stare, that I began to feel my character of Dodd pere was rather an imposing kind of performance. "Enfin," said the President, with a faint sigh, as though the reasoning process had been rather a fatiguing one — " enfin ! Dodd pere is the father of Dodd fils, the respondent." Vanhoegen bowed submissive assent, and muttered, as I thought, some little flattery about the judicial acuteness and perspicuity. " Let him be sworn," said the President ; and accordingly I held up my hand, while the Clerk recited something vrith a humdrum rapidity that I guessed must mean an oath. "You are called Dodd pere?" said the Attorney- General, ad- dressing me. " I find I am so called here, but I never was so before," said I, tartly. " He means that the appellation is not usual in his own country," •said one of the Judges — a small, red-eyed man, with pock-marks. "Put it down," observed the President, gravely. "Thevntness informs ua that he is only called Dodd." 78 THE BOBB PAMILT JOIBOXD. " Kenny James Dodd, Monsieur," cried I, interrupting. "Dodd— dit Kenny James," dictated the small Judge; and the Amanuensis took it down. " And you swear you are the father of Dodd fils ?" asked the President. I suppose that the adage of a wise child knowing his own father cuts both ways, but I answered boldly, that I'd swear to the best of Bjy belief — a reservation, however, that excitfed a diBcussion of three- quarters of an hour, the point being at last ruled in my fevour. I am bound to say that there was a great deal of legal learning displayed in the eontroversy-— a Tast variety of authorities cited from King David downwards ; and although at one time matters seemed going against me, the red-eyed man turned the balance in my favotir, and it was agreed that I was the father of my own son. If I knew but aU, it might have been better for me there had been a hitch in the case ; but I am anticipating. There now arose another dispute, on a poimt of law I believe, and which was, what degree of responsibiltty — ^there were fourteen de- grees, it seems, in the Pandects — ^I stood in, as regarded the present suit. Prom the turn the debate took, I began to suspect we might, aU of us, have to plead to our responsibilities in the other world ere it could be finished ; but the red-eyed man, who seemed the shrewdest of them all, cut the matter short by proposing that I shotdd be invited — that's the phrase — ^to say so Hnich as I pleased in the question before the Court. "Tes, yes," assented the President. "Lethim relate the affair." And the whole bar and the audience seemed to re-echo the words. Ton know me well, Tom, and you can vouch for it, that I never had any objection to teUing a story. It was, in truth, a kind of weak- ness with me, and some used to say that I was getting into the habit of telling the same ones too often. Be that as it may, I never was accused of relating a garbled, broken, and disjointed tale, and for the honour of my anecdotic powers, I resolved not to do so. " My Lord," said I, " I'm like the knife-grinder — I have no story !" Bad luck to my illustration, it took half an hoiu- to show that my identity was not, somehow, mixed up with a wheel and a grinding- stone ! " Let him relate the affair," said the President, once more ; and this time his voice and manner both proeltdmed that his patience was not to be trifled with. " Eelate what ?" asked I, tartly. GPHE BOBB JiAMHiT ABEOAD. 79 "AH that you know — anything you have heard," whispered Van, who was trembling for my rashness. " My Lord," said I, "of myself I know nothing ; I was in bed all the time !" " He was in bed. all iie time," said the Rresidentfto the others. " In bed," said red eyes ; " let ns see ;" and he turned over a file of documents before him for several minutes. " Dodd pere swears that he was in bed from the 7th of February, which is the first entry here, to the 19th of May, inclusive." " I swear no such thing, Tny Lord," cried I. " What does he swear, then ?" asked the small Judge. " Let us hear his own version ; tell us unreservedly all that you know," said the President, who really spoke as if he compassionated my embarrassment. "My Lord," said I, "there is nothing would give me more plea- sure than to display the candour you require ; but when I assure you that I actually know nothing " " Know nothing. Sir !" interposed the President. " Do you mean to teU this Court that you are, and were, in total ignorance of eveiy part of your son's conduct — that you never heard of his difficulties, nor of his efforts to meet them ?" " If hearsay be sufficient, then," saidi, " youshallhave it ;" and so, taking a long breath, for I saw a weary road before me, I began thus, the Amanuensis occasionally begging of me a slight halt, to keep up. " It was about five or six weeks ago, my Lord, we — that is, Mrs. D., the girls, James, and myself — made an excursion to the field of "Waterloo, filled by the very natural desire to see a spot so intimately associated with our country's glory. I wiU not weary you with any detail of disappointment, nor deplore the total absence of everything that could revive recollections of that great day. In feet, except the big Lion with his tail between his legs, there is nothing symbolic of the nations engaged." I waited a moment here, Tom, to see how they took this ; but they never winced, and so I perceived my shell exploded harmlessly. " "We prowled about, my Lord, for two or three hours, and at last reached Hougoumont, in time to take shelter against a tremendous storm which just then broke over us ; and there it was that James accidentally came in contact with the young Gentleman whom I may not wrongfully call the cause of all our misfortunes. It would appear that they began discussing the battle, with aU the natural prejudices of the two conflicting sides. I wiU. not affirm that James was very well read on the subject ; indeed, my impression is, that 80 THE DODD PAMILT ABEOAD. Ms stock of information was principally derived from a representa- tion he had witnessed by an equestrian troop at home, and where Bony, after galloping twice round the circus, throws himself on his knees and begs for mercy ; — a fact so strongly impressed upon his memory, that he insisted the Frenchman should receive it as his- torical. The dispute, it would seem, was not conducted within the legitimate limits of debate ; they waxed angry, and the Frenchman, after a fierce provocation, set off into the thickest of the storm, rather than endure the further discussion." " This seems to me. Sir," interposed the President, " to be per- fectly irrelevant to the matter before us. The Court accords the very widest latitude to explanations, but if they really have no bear- ing on the case in hand — if, as it appears to my learned brethren and myself, that this polemic on a battle has no actual connexion with your son's difficulties " " It is the very source and origin of them, my Lord," broke I in. " He has no embarrassment which does not date from that incident and that hour!" " In that case you may proceed, Sir," said he, blandly ; and I went on. " I do not mean to say, my Lord, that all what followed was in- evitable ; nor that, with cooler heads and calmer tempers, the whole affair could not have been arranged ; but James is hot — mighty hot — ^the Celt is strong in him. He really likes a ' Shindy' — not like some chaps, for the notoriety of it — ^not because it gets into the newspapers, and makes a noise — but he likes it for itself, and for its own intrinsic merits, as one might say. And I may remark here, my Lord, that the Irishman is, perhaps, the only man in Europe that understands fighting in this sense ; and this trait, if rightly con- sidered, win give a strong clue to our national character, and will explain the general failure of all our attempts at revolution. "We take so much diversion in a row, that we quite forget it's only the means to an end. "We have, so to say, so much fun on the road, that we lose sight of the place we were going to." I don't know, Tom, how much further I might have gone on in my analytical researches into our national character, but the inter- preter cut me short, by assuring the Court that he was totally un- able to follow me. In the narrative parts of my discourse, he was good enough ; but it seemed that my reflections, and my general re- marks on men and manners, were a cut above him. I was, therefore, warned to "try back" to the line of my story, which I did accordingly. THE BODD FAMILY ABBOAD, 81 "As for the affair itself, my Lord," resumed I, "I understand from eye-witnesses that it was most respeetahly and discreetly con- ducted. James was put up with his face to the west, so that Eoger had the sun on him. The tools were beauties. It was a fine May morning, mellow, and not too bright. There was nothing wanting to make the scene impressive, and, I may add, instructive. Soger's friend gave the word — one, two, three — bang went both pistols together, and poor James received the other's fire just here — betweea the bone and the artery, so Seutin described it — a critical spot, I'm sure." " Dodd pere," said the President, solemnly, " you are trifling with the patience of the Tribunal!" A grave edict, which the other Judges responded to by a majestic inclination of the head. "If you are not," resumed he, slowly, and with great emphasis — " if you are not a man of weak intellects and deficient reasoning- powers, the conduct you have pursued is inexcusable — it is a high contempt!" "And we shall teach you. Sir," said the red-eyed, "that no pre- tence of national eccentricity can weigh against the claims of in- sulted justice." "Aye, Sir," chimed in number three, who had not spoken before,, " and we shall let you feel that the majesty of the law in this country- is neither to be assailed by covert impertinence, nor cajoled by- assumed ignorance." " My Lords," said I, " aU this rebuke is a riddle to me. Toa asked me to teU you a story, and if it be not a very connected and consistent one, the fault is not mine." " Let him stand committed for contempt," said the President. " The Petits Carmes may teach him decorum." Now, Tom, the Petits Carmes is Newgate, no less ! and you may imagine my feelings at this announcement, particularly as I saw the Clerk busily taking down, from dictation, a little history of my offence and its penalty. I turned to look for Yan in my sore dis- tress, and there he was, searching the volumes, briefs, and records, to- find, as he afterwards said, " some clue to what I had been saying." " By Heaven !" cried I, losing all patience, " this is too bad. Tou- urge me into a long account of what I know nothing, and then to. rescue your own ignorance, you declare me impertinent. There is not a lawyer's clerk in Ireland — there is no pettifogging practitioner- for half-crown fees — there's not a brat that carries a blue bag down the Bachelor's Wallc, couldn't teach you all three. Tou go through some of the forms, but you know nothing of the facts of justice.. 82 THE BODD FAMILY ABEOAD. Tou sit up there, like three stucco-men in. mourniag — ^a perfect mockery of " I was not suffered to finish, Tom, for, at a signal from the FreM- dent, two Grendarmes seized me on either side, and notwithstanding some demonstrations of resistance, led me off to prison. Aye, I must write the word again — to prison ! Kenny I. Dodd, of Dodsborough, Justice of the Peace, and Chairman of the Union of Bruff, committed to gaol like a common felon ! I'm sorry I suffered my feelings to get the better-^perhaps I ought to say the worse — of me. Now that it's all over, it were better that I had not knocked down the Turnkey, and kicked Vanhoegen out of my cell. It would have been both more discreet, and more decorous, to have submitted patiently. I know it's whatyoM would have done, Tom, and trusted to your action for damages to indemnify you ; but I'm hasty, that's the fact ; and if I wanted to deny it, the state of the Gaoler's nose, and j^y own sprained thumb, would give evidence against me. But are there no allowances to be made for the provoca- tion? Perhaps not for a simple assault; but of I .had killed the Turnkey, I'm certain the Jury would discover the " circonstances attenuantes." Partly out of respect to my own feelings, partly out of regard to yours, I have not put the words " Petits Carmes" at the top of this letter ; but truth wiU. out, Tom, and the real fact is, that I date the present from.CeIl No. 65, in the common prison of Brussels ! Is not that a pretty comfession ? Is not that a new episode in this Iliad of enjoyment, cultivation, and Heaven knows what besides, that Mrs.D. projected by our tour on the Continent? But I swear to you, solemnly, as I write this, that, if I Uve to get back, I'll expose the whole system of foreign travel. I don't think I could write a book, and it's hard now-a-days to find a chap to j)ut down one's own senti- ments fairly and honestly, neither overlaying them with bits of poetry, nor explaining them away by any garbage of his own ; so that, maybe, I'U not be able to come out hot-pressed and lettered ; but if the worst comes to it, I'U go about the country giving Lectures. I'U hire an organ-man to play at intervals, and I'U advertise, " Kenny Dodd on Men and Manners Abroad— Evenings with Frenchmen and .Nights with Distinguished Belgians." I'U show up their cookery, their morals, their modesty, their sense of truth, and their notions of justice. And though I weU know that I'U expose myself to the ever- lasting hate of a legion of hairdressers, dancing-masters, and white- mice men, I'U do it as sure as I live. I have heard you and Peter Belton wax warm and eloquent about the disgrace to our laws in A^ THE DODD FAMILY A3B0AB. 83 permitting every Mnd of quackery to prevail vmlriiidered ; but what quackery was ever the equal to thia taste for the Continent? If people ate Morison'B pills like green peas, they wouldn't do them- selves as much moral injury as by a month abroad ! And if I were called before a Committee of the House to declare, on my conscience, what I deemed the most pernicious reading of the day, I'd say — Murray's Hand-books! I give you this under my hand and seal. That fellow — ^Murray, I mean — has got up a kind of Pictorial Europe of his own, with bits of antiquarianism, history, poetry, and architec- ture, that serves to convince our vulgar, vagabondising English that they are doing a refined thing in coming abroad. He half persuades them that it is not for cheap champagne and red partridges they're come, but to see the Cathedral of Cologne and the Dome of St, Peter's, till he breeds up a race of conceited, ill-informed, prating coxcombs, that disgrace us abroad and disgust us at home. I think I see your face now, and I half hear you mutter, " Kenny's in one of his fits of passion ;" and you'd be right, too, for I have just upset my ink-bottle over the table, and there's scarcely enough left to finish this scrawl, as I must reserve a little for a few lines to Mrs. D. Apropos to that same, Tom, I don't know how to break it to her that I'm in a gaol, for her feelings will be terribly shocked at first ; not but, between you and me, before a year's over, she'll make it a bitter taunt to me whenever we have a flare-up, and remind me that, for aU my Justiceship of the Peace, I was treated like a common felon in Brussels ! I believe that the best thing I can do is to send for JeUicot, since Vanhoegen and Draek have sent to say that they retire from my cause, " reserving to themselves all liberty of future action as regards the injury personally sustained ;" which means, that they require ten pounds for the kicking. Be it so ! "When I have seen JeUicot, I'U give you the result of the inter- view, that is, if there be any result ; but my friend J. is a lawyer of the lawyers, and it is not only that he keeps his right hand on terms of distance with his left, but I don't believe that the thumb and fore- finger of the same side are even acquainted. He is very much that stamp of man your English Protestants call a Jesuit. God help them, little they know what a real Jesuit is ! It's now a quarter to two in the morning, and I sit down to finish this vidth a heavy heart, and certainly no inclination for sleep. I don't know where to begin, nor how to teU you, what has happened ; but the short of it is, Tom, I'm half ruined. JeUicot has been here for 02 THE DODD FAMILY ABROAD. hours, and gone over the ■whole case ; he received the papers from D. and V. ; and, indeed, everything considered, he has done the thing kindly and feelingly. I'm sure my head wouldn't stand the task of teEing you all the circumstances ; the matter resolves itself simply into this : " The affaire de Dodd fils," instead of being Tom's duel, as I thought, is a series of actions against him for debt, amount- ing to upwards of two thousand pounds sterling ! There is not an extravagance, from the BaUet to the Bettiag-book, that he has not tasted ; and saddle-horses, suppers, velvet waistcoats, jewellery, and gimcracks, are at this moment dancing an iofemal reel through my poor brain ! He has contrived, in less than three months, to condense and con- centrate wickedness enough for a lifetime ; this is technically called ■' going fast." Egad, I should say it's a pace far too quick to last with any man, much less with the son of a broken-down Irish gentleman ! Tou would not believe that the boy could know the very names of the things that he appears to have reckoned as mere necessaries of daily life; and how he contrived to raise money and contract loans — a thing that has been a difficulty to myself aU my life long — is clean beyond me to' explain. I'll get a copy of the "claims" and send it over to you, and I feel that your astonishment wiU equal my own. It would appear that the young vagabond talked as if the Barings were his next of kin, and actually took delight in squandering money ! Only think ! all the time I believed he was hard at work at his Prench lessons, it was rattling a dice-box he was, and his education for the Board of Trade was going on in the side-scenes of the Opera. Vickars has been the cause of all this. If he'd have kept his promise, the boy wouldn't have been ruined with rascally companions and spendthrift associates ! Where's the money to come from, Tom ? Have you any device in your head to get us out of this scrape ? I suppose some, at least, of the demands will admit of abatement, and Lazarus, they say, always takes a fourth of his claim. Tou can estimate the pleasant game of cross-purposes I was playing all yesterday with the Court of Cassa- tion, and w^hat a chaotic mass of rubbish the field of "Waterloo and the Duel must have appeared in an action for debt ! But why didn't they apprise me of what I was there for? Why did they go on with their ridiculous demand — " Eacontez I'affaire." Eecount what ? What should I know of the nefarious dealings of Shadrach, Meshec, and Abednego ? They torment me for six weeks by a daily exami- nation, tiU it would be nothing singular if I became monomaniac. THE DODD TAMILT ABEOAD. 85 and could discuss no other theme than a duel and a gunshot wound, and then, without the slightest suggestion of a change, they launch me into a thing like a Court of Bankruptcy ! It appears that I have been committed for three days for my " contempt," and before that time elapses, there is no resource in Belgian law to compel them to bring up tlie body of Kenny Dodd ! so that here I must stay, " chewing," as the Poet says, " the cud of sweet and bitter fancy." Not that I have not a great deal of business to transact in this interval. JeUicot's papers would fill a cart ; besides which, I have in contemplation a letter for Mrs. D. that will, I suspect, astonish her. I mean briefly, but clearly, to place before her the state we are in, and her own share in bringing us to it ! I'U let her feel that her own extravagance has given the key-note to the family, and that she alone is to blame for this calamity. Among the many fine things promised me for coming abroad, she forgot to say that I was to be like Silvio PeUico ; but Fll not forgot it, Tom! Then, I have an epistle special for James. He shall feel that he has a share in the general ruin ; for I wiU write to Vickars, and ask for a commission for him in a Black regiment, or an appointment in the Cape Mounted Eifles — what old Burrowes used to call the Blessed Army of Martyrs. I don't care a jot where he goes ! But he'll find it hard to give suppers at four pound a head in the Gambia, and ballet-dancers will scarcely be costly acquaintances on the banks of the Niger ! And lastly, I mean to threaten a return to Ireland ! " Only threaten," you say ; " why not do it in earnest f " As I told you before, I'm not equal to it ! I've pluck for anything that can be done by one efibrt, but I have not strength for a prolonged conflict. I could better jump ofi" the Tarpeian rock, than I could descend a rugged mountain ! Mrs. D. knows this so well, that, whenever I show fight, she lays down her parallels so quietly, and prepares for a siege with such deliberation, that I always surrender before she brings up her heavy guns. Don't prate to me of pusillanunity and cowardice ! Nobody is brave with his wife ! From the Queen of Sheba down to the Duchess of Marlborough, aye, and to our own days, if I liked to quote instances, history teaches the same lesson. "What chance have you with one that has been studying every weak point, and every frailty of your disposition, for, maybe, twenty years ? "Why, you might as well box with your Doctor, who knows where to plant the blow that will be the death of you ! I have another " dodge," too, Tom — don't object to the phrase, for it's quite Parliamentary ; see Bernal Osborne, passim. I'll tell Mrs. D. that I'll put an advertisement in Galignani, cautioning the public 86 THE DODD HAMTLT ABEOAD. against giving credit to her, or her son, or her daughters ; that the Dodd family is come abroad especially for economy, and has neither pretension to affluence, nor any claim to be thought rich. If that won't frighten her, my name is not Kenny ! The fact is, Tom, I in- tend to pursue a very brave liae of action for the three days I'm " in," since she cannot have access to me without my own request. Tou- understand me ! I cannot bring my mind to answer your questions about Dods- borough ; my poor head is too full of its own troubles. They've just brought me my breakfast, prison fare, for ia my indignation I have refused all other. Little I used to think, while tasting the gaol diet at home, as one of the Visitors, that I'd ever be reduced to eating it on less experimental grounds ! I must reserve all my directions about home affairs for my next ; but bestir yourself to raise this money for us. Without some sort of a compromise we cannot leave this ; and I am as anxious t& " evacuate Manders" as ever was Uncle Toby ! Captain Morris told me, the other day, of a little town in Germany where there are no English, and where everything can be had for a song. The cheapness and the isolation would both be very advisable just now. I'll get the name of it before I write next. By the way, Morris is a better fellow than I used to think him : a little priggish, or so, but good-hearted at bottom, and honest as the sun. I think he has an eye on Mary Anne. Not that at present he'd have much chance in that quarter. These foreign Counts and Earons give a false glitter to society that throws into the shade all untitled gentility ; and your mere country gentleman beside them is like your mother's old silver tea-pot on a table with a show specimen of Elkington's new galvanic plate. Not but if you wanted to raise a trifle of money on either the choice would be very difficult. I'U keep anything more for another letter, and now sign myself Tour old and attached friend, Kenut I. DOBD. PetitB Cannes, Brussels, Tuesday Morning. THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAD. ST LETTEE XII. MB8. DODD TO MISTRESS MAKT GALJCAeHEE, DODSBOBOUGH. ', Deae Mollt, The lilessed. Saints only can tell what sufferings I haye gone through the last two days, and it's more than I'm equal to, to say how it happened ! The whole family has been turned topsy and turvy, and there's not one of us isn't upside down ; and for one like me, that loves to live in peace and enmity with all mankind, this is a sore trial ! Mgny's the time you heard me remark that if it wasn't for K. I.'s temper, and the violence of his passion, that we'd he rich and well off this day ! Time, they say, cure's many an evil ; -but I'U tell you one, Molly, that it never improves, and that is, a man's wilful nature • on the contrary, they only get more stubborn and cross-grained, and I often think to myself, what a blessed time one of the young creatures must have had of it, married to some Patriarch in the Old Testament ; and then I reflect on my own condition — not that Kenny Dodd is like anything in the Bible ! And now to tell you, if I'm able, some of my distresses. You have heard about poor dear James, and how he was shot, but you don't know that these last six weeks he has never been off his back, with three Doctors, and sometimes five-and-thirty leeches on him ; and what with the torturing him with new-fashioned instru- ments, and continued "repletion," as they call it — if it hadn't been for strong wiae-gruel that I gave him, at times, "unknownst" — my sure belief is that he wouldn't have been spared to us ! This has been a terrible blow, MoUy ; but the ways of Providence is unscru- pulous, and we must submit ! Here it is, then. James, like every boy, spent a little more money than he had, and knowing well his father's temper, he went to the Jews to help him. They smarted the poor dear chUd, who, in his innocent heart, knew nothing of the world and its wicked ways. They made him take all kinds of things instead of cash — Dutch tiles, paving-stones, an altar-piece, and a set of surveying tools, amongsi? the rest, and these he had to sell again to raise a trifle of cash. Some of them he disposed of mighty well — particularly the altar-piece — but on others he lost a good deal, and, at the end, was a heavy balance in debt. If it hadn't been for the duel, however, he says he'd have no trouble at all in "carrying on" — that's his own word. §8 THE DODD FAMILY ABROAD. and I suppose alludes to the business. Be that as it may, his wound was his ruin. Nobody knew how to manage his affairs but ■himself. It was the very same way with my grandfather, Maurice lipich M'Carthy, for wheii he died there wasn't a soul left could make anything of his papers. There was large sums in them — thou- sands and thousands of pounds mentioned — but where they were, and what's become of them, we never discovered ! And so with James. There he was, stretched on his bed, while villains and schemers were working his ruin ! The business came into the Courts here, which, from all I can learn, MoUy, are not a bit better than at home with ourselves. Indeed, I believe, wherever one goes. Lawyers is just the same for roguery and rampacity. To be sure, it's comfort to think that you can have another, to the fuU as bad as the one against you ; and if there is any abuse or bad lan- guage going, you can give it as hot as you get it ! That's equal justice, Molly, and one of the proudest boasts of the British Consti- tution ! And you'd suppose that K. I., sitting on the Bench for nigh four-and-twenty years, would know that as well as anybody. Tet what does he do ! — you'll not believe me when I teU you ! In- stead of paying one of these creatures to go in and torment the others — to pick holes in aU he said, and get fellows to swear against them — he must stand out, forsooth, and be his own Lawyer ! And a blessed business he made of it ! A reasonable man woidd explain to the Judges how it all was — that James was a child — that it was the other day only he was flying a kite on the lawn at home — that he knew as much about wickedness as K. I. did of Paradise — that the villains that led him on ought to be publicly whipped ! Taith, I can fancy, MoUy, it was a beautiful field for any man to display every commotion of the heart; — but what does he do? He gets up on his legs — I didn't see, but I'm told it — ^he get's up on his legs, and begins to ballyrag and blackguard all the Courts of Justice, and the Judges, and the Attorneys, down to the Criers — he spares nobody ! There is nothing too dreadful for him to say, and no words too bad .to express it in ; tUl, their patience being aU run out, they stop him at last, and give orders to have him taken from the spot, and thrown into a dungeon of the Town G-aol— a terrible old place, MoUy, that goes by the name of the " Petit Car^me !" and where they say the diet is only a thin sheet of paper above starving. And there he is now, Molly ; and you may picture to yourself, as the Poet says, "what frame he's in!" The news reached me when we were going to the Play, I was under the hands of the hair- dresser, and I gave such a screech that he jumped back, and burned THE DOBD rAMILT ABB0A3). »» himself over the mouth with the curliag-irons. Eren that was a relief to me, Molly ; for Mary Anne and myself laughed till we cried agaia! I was for keeping the thing all snug and to ourselyea ahout K. I. ; but Mary Anne said we should consult Lord George, that was then in the house, and going with us to the Theatre. They are a won- derful people, the great English Aristocracy ; and if it's anything more than another distinguishes them, 'tis the indiflference to every kind and description of misfortune ! I say this, because, the moment Lord G-eorge heard the story, he lay down on the sofa and laughed, and roared, tUl I thought he'd split Ms sides. His only regret was, that he hadn't been there, in the Courts, to see it all. As for James's share of the trouble, he said it " didn't signify a rush !" He ma;de the same remark I did myself — that James was the same as an infant, and could, consequently, know nothing of the world and its pompous vanities. " I'll tell you how to manage it all," said he, " and how you'll not only escape all gossip, but actually refute even the slightest scandal that may get abroad. Say, first of all, that Mr. Dodd is gone over to England — we'll put it in the Qalignani — to attend his Parlia- mentary duties. The Belgian papers will copy it at once. This being done, issue invitations for an evening at home, ' tea and dance' — that's the way they do it. Say that the Governor hates a Ball, and that you are just taking the occasion of his absence to see your friends without disturbing him. The people that wiU come to you won't be too critical about the facts. Believe me, the gay company will be the very last to inquire where is the head of the house. I'll take care that you'll have everybody worth having in Brussels, and with Latour's band, and the supper by Dubos, I'd like to see who'll have a spare thought for Mr. Dodd the absent." I own to you, MoUy, the counsel shocked my feelings at first, and I asked my heart, " What will the world say, if it ever comes out that we had our house full of company, and the height of gaiety going on, when the head of the family was, maybe, in chains in a dungeon?" '' Don't you perceive," says Lord G., "that what I'm advising will just prevent the possibility of all that ? — ^that you are actually rescuing your family, by a master-stroke, from the evil con- sequences of Mr. D.'s rasliness! As to the boldness of the policy," added he, " that is the only merit it possesses." And then he said something about firing at St. Sebastian above somebody's head, that I didn't quite rightly imderstand. , The upshot was, Molly, I was convinced ; not, you may be sure, that I felt any pleasure or grati- 90 THE DODD TAMILT ABBOAD. fication in the prospect of a Ball under suet trying circumstances, but, just as Lord G-. said, I felt I was " rescuing the family." When we came home from the Play — for we went, with heavy hearts I assure you, though we afterwards laughed a ^eat deal — we set about writing the invitations for " Our Evening ;" and although James and Mary Anne assisted Lord G-., it was nigh daybreak when we were done. Tou'U ask where was Caroline? And you may well ask ; but, as long as I live, I'E never forget her unnatural conduct ! It isn't that she opposed everything about the Ball, but she had the impudence to say to my face, " that hitherto we had been only ridiculous, but that this act would be one of downright shame and disgrace." Her language to Lord Gleorge was even worse, for she told him that his " counsel was a very sorry requital for the generous hospitality her father had always extended to him." Where the hussey got the words so glibly, I can't imagine ; but she, that rarely speaks at all, talked away with the fluency of a Lawyer. As to helping us to address the notes, she vowed she'd rather cut her fingers off ; and what made this worse was, that she's the only one of them knows the genders in French, and whether a soi/ree is a man or a woman ! Ton may imagine the trouble of the next day ; for, in order to have the Ball come off before K. I. was out, we were only able to give two days' notice. Little the people that come to your house to dance or sup, know or think what a deal of trouble — not to say more — it costs to give a Ball. Lord G-eorge tells me, that even the Queen herself always gives it in another house, so she's not put out of her way with the preparations — and, to be sure, what is more natural ! — and tha* she wouldn't like to be exposed to the turmoil of taking down beds, hanging lustres, fixing sconces, raising a platform for the music, and settling tables for the supper. I'm sure and certain, if she only knew what it was to pass such a day as yesterday was with me, she'd never have a larger party than that Lord that's always in waiting, and the Ladies of the bedroom ! As for regular meals, MoUv, we had none. There was a ham and cold chickens in the lobby, and a veal pie and some sheny on the back stairs ; and that's the way we break&sted, dined, and supped. To be sure, we laughed heartily all the time, and I never saw Mary Anne in such spirits. Lord George was greatly struck with her— I saw it by his manner— and I wouldn't be a bit surprised if something came of it yet ! I have little time to say more now, for I'm called down to see the flower-pots and orange-trees that's to line the hall and the stairs ; but rU try and finish this by post hour. THE DODD PAMILT ABEOAD. 91 As I see that this cannot be despatched to-day, I'll keep it over, to give you a " full and true " account of the Ball, which Lord George, assures me will he the greatest f^te Brussels has seen this winter j and, indeed, if I am to judge from the preparations, I can weU believe him 1 There are seven men-cooks in the kitchen making paste and drinking sherry in a way that's quite incredible, not to speak of an elderly man in my own room that's doiug the M'Carthy arms in spun-sugar for a temple, that is to represent Dodsborough in the middle of the table, with K. I. on the top of it, holding a flag, and crying out something in Erench that means welcome to the company. Poor K. I., 'tis something else he's thinking of all the time ! Then, the whole stairs and the landing is aU one bower of cameHas, and roses, and lily of the valley, brought aU. the way from Holland for another ball, but, by Lord George's ingenuity, obtained by us. As for ice, MoUy, you'd think my dressing-room was a Panorama of the North Pole ; and there's every beast of that region done in straw- berries or lemon, with native creatures, the colour of life, in coffee or chocolate. The music will be the great German Brass Band, fifty- eight performers, and two Blacks with cymbals. They're practising now, and the noise is dreadful ! Carts are coming in every moment with various kinds of eatables, for I must tell you, MoUy, they don't do things here the way we used at Dodsborough. Plenty of cold roast chickens, tongues, and sliced ham, apple-pies, tarts, jelly, and Spanish flummery, with Naples biscuits and a plum-cake, is a fime supper in Ireland; and if you begin with sherry, you can always finish with punch ; but here, there's nothing that ever was eaten they won't have. Ice when they're hot, soup when they're chilly, oyster patties and champagne continually during the dancing, and eveiy delicacy under the sun afterwards on the supper-table. There's nothing distresses me in it all but the Polka, MoUy. I can't learn it. I always slide when I ought to hop, and where there's a hop,. I duck down in spite of me ! And whether it's the native purity of an Irishwoman, or that I never was reared to it, I can't say, but the notion of a man's arm round me keeps me in a flutter, and I'm always looking about to see how K. I. bears it. I suppose, however, I'll get through it weU enough, for Lord George is to be my partner, and as I know K. I.'s " safe," my mind is more easy. Perhaps it's the shortness of the invitation, but there's a great many apologies coming in. The English Ambassador won't come. Lord G. says it's aU the better, for the Tories are going out, and it will be a great service to K. I. with the Whigs if it's thought he didn't invite him ! This may be true, but it'fe no reason in life for 92 THE DODD TAMILT ABEOAD. the Austrian, the !French, the Prussian, and the Spanish Ministers sending excuses. Lord George, however, thinks it's the terrible state of the Continent explains it all, and the Despotic Powers are so angry with Lord Dudley Stuart and Eoebuck, that they like to insult the English ! If it be so, they haven't common sense. Kenny James has taken a turn with all their parties, and much good it has done him ! Lord Gr. and Mary Anne are in high spirits, notwithstanding these disappointments, for "the Margravine" is coming — at least so he tells me ; but whether the Margravine be a man or a woman, Molly, or only something to eat, I don't rightly know, and I'm ashamed to ask. I have just been greatly provoked by a visit from Captain Morris, who called twice this morning, and at last insisted on seeing me. He came to entreat me, he says, " if not to abandon, at least to put off our Ball till Mr. Dodd's return." I tried to browbeat him, Molly, for his impertinent interference, but it wouldn't do ; and he showed me that he knew perfectly well where K. I. was — a piece of informa- tion that, of course, he obtained from Caroline. Oh, Molly dear, when one's own flesh and blood turns against them — when children forget all the lessons you've been teaching them from infancy — it's a sore, sore trial ! Not but I have reason to be thankful. Mary Anne and James are like part of myself; nothing mean or little-minded about them, but fine, generous, confiding creatures — ^happy for to-day, hopeM for to-morrow ! "When I mentioned to Lord G. what Morris came about, he only laughed, and said, " It was a clever dodge of the Half-pay — he wanted an invitation;" and I see now that such must have been his object. The more one sees of mankind, the greater appears their meanness ; and in my heart I feel how unsuited guileless, simple-hearted crea- tures like myself are to combat against the stratagems and ambus- cades of this wicked world. Not that little Morris will gain much by his morning's work, for Mary Anne says that Lord G-eorge will never suffer him to get on full pay as long as he lives. " A friend in need, is a friend indeed," Molly, more particularly when he's a Lord. • The Margravine is a Princess, Molly. I've just found ib out ; for James is to receive her at the foot of the stairs, Mary Anne and myself on the lobby. Lord G. says she must have whist at half "Nap." points, and always play with her own " Gentleman-in- Waiting." She never goes out on any other conditions. But he says, "She's cheap even at that price, for an occasion like the present ;" and maybe he's right. THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAD. 93 No more now, for my gown is come to be tried on. ******** ******** Dear Molly, I'll try and finish this, since, maybe, it's the last lines you'll ever receive from your attached friend. Three days have elapsed since I put my hand to paper, and three such days I'U be bound no human creature ever passed. Out of one fit of hysterics into another, and taking the strongest stimulants, with no more effect than if they were water ! My screeches, I am told, were dreadful, and there's scarcely one of the family can't show the mark of my naUs ; and this is what K. I. has brought me to. You know weU what 1 used to suffer from him at Dodsboroughj and the terrible scenes we always had when the Christmas bills came in ; but it's aU. nothing, Molly, to what has happened here. But as my Uncle Joe said, no good ever came out of a " mess-alliance." My moments are few, so I'll be brief. The Ball was beautiful, Molly ; there never was the like of it for elegance and splendour ! Tor great names, rank, fashion, beauty, and jewels, it was, they tell me, far beyond the Court, because we had a great many people who, from political reasons, refuse to go to Leopold, but who had no pre- judices against your humble servant ; for, strange enough, they have Orangemen here as well as in Ireland ! Princes, Dukes, Counts, and Generals came pouring in, all shining with stars and crosses, blue and red ribbons, and keys worked on their coat-tails, till nearly twelve o'clock. There were then nigh seven hundred souls in the house, eating, dancing, drinking, and enjoying themselves ; and a beautiful sight it was : everybody happy, and thinking only of pleasure. Mary Anne looked elegant, and many remarked that we must be sisters ! Oh, dear, if they only saw me now ! There was a Mazurka, that lasted till half-past one, for it's a dance that everybody must take out each in turn, and you'd fancy there was no end to it, for indeed they never do seem tired of embracing and holding each other round the waist ; but Lord Greorge came to say that the Margravine had finished her whist and wanted her supper, so down we must go, at once. James was to take her Supreme Highness, and the Prince of Dam- miseisen — a name that always made me laugh — was to take me ; but he is a great man in G-ermany, and had a kingdom of his own till he was " modified" by Bonaparte, which means, as Lord George says, that " he took it out in money." But why do I dwell on these things ? Down we went, MoUy — down the narrow stairs — for the supper was laid out below — and a terrible crush it was, for, strange as it may 94 IHE DODD EAMILT ABBOAD. seem, your grand people are just as anxious to get good places as any ; and I saw a Diike fighting Hs way in, just like old Ted Davis, at Dodsborough ! When we came to the last flight of stairs the crowd was awful, and the bannisters creaked, and the wood-work groaned, so that I thought it was going to give way ; and, iastead of James moving on in front, he pressed back upon us, and increased the confiision, for we were forced forward by hundreds behind us. " What's the matter, James ?" said I. " Why don't you go on ?" " I'd rather be excused," said he. " It's like Donnybrook Pair, down there — a regular shindy!" It was no less, Molly ; for although the hall was filled with servants, there were two men armed with sticks, laying about them like mad, and fighting their way towards the supper-room. " WTio are those wretches ?" cried I ; " why don't they turn them out ?" The words weren't well out, my dear Molly, when the door gave way, and the two, trampling down all before them, passed into the room. From that moment it was crash after crash ! Lamps, lustres, china, glass, plates, dishes, fruit, and confectionery, flying on aU sides. In less time than I'm writing it, the table was cleared, and of ■fche elegant temple there wasn't a bit standing. I just got inside the door to see the McCarthy arms in smithereens! and K. I. — for it was him ! — dancing over them, with that little blackguard Paddy Byrne smashing everything round him ! I went off' into fits, MoUy, and never saw more ; and, indeed, I wish with aU. my heart that I never came to again, if what they teU me be only true. K. I., it seems, no sooner demolished the supper, than he set to work on the company. He snatched off the Margravine's wig, and beat her with it, kicking Dammiseisen and two other Princes into the streets. They say, that many of the nobility leapt out of the first-pair windows, and one fat old gentleman, a Chamberlain to the King of Bavaria, was caught by a lamp-iron, and hung there for twenty minutes, with a mob shouting round him ! This all came of the Belgians letting out K. I. at one o'clock, which, according to their reckoning, was the end of his three days. I'm getting another attack, so I must conclude. We left Brussels the next morning, and arrived here the same night. I don't know where we are going, and I don't care. K. I. has never had the face to come near me since his infamous conduct, and I hope, for the little time I may be spared on this side of the grave, not to see him again. Mary Anne is in bed too, and nearly as bad as myself; and THE BODD I'AMIIT ABEOAB. 95 as for Caroline, I wouldn't let her into the room! Lord Greorge took James away to his own lodgings till K. I. learns to behave more like a Christian ; but when that may be, is utterly beyond Tour afflicted and disgraced friend, Jemima Doss. Hotel d'Angleterre, liege. ^ TT TP TP TP Tr V Deae Molly, I open this to say that I have made my will, for, if Divine Providence doesn't befriend me, your poor Jemima will be in Paradise before this reaches you ! I have left you my black satin with the bugles, and my brown bombaziue, which, when it is dyed, will be very nice mourning for common wear. I also bequeath to you the things you'll find in the oak press in my own room, and ten silver spoons, and a fish-knife marked with the M'Carthy arms, which, not to be too particular, I have put down in the will as "plate and linen." I leave you, besides, my book of "Domestic Cookery," "The Complete House- wife," and the " Way to Grlory," by St. Prancis Xavier. There are marks aU through them with my own pen ; and be particular to observe the receipt for snow-pancakes, and the prayers for a "Plenary" after Candlemas ! It wiU be a comfort to your feeh'ngs to know that I am departing from this life in peace and charity with every one. TeU Mat I forgive him the fleece he stole out of the hay-loft ; and though he swears, stiQ, he never laid hand on it, who else was there, MoUy ? Tou can give Kitty Hogan the old shoes in the closet, for, though she never wears any, she'd like to have them for keepsakes ! K. I. cared too little for my peace, here, to suppose that he wiU think of my repose here- after, so that Father John can take the yearling calf and the two ewes out in masses! My feelings is overcoming me, MoUy, and I can't go on ! Breathing my last, as I am, in a far-away land, and sinking imder the cruelty of a hard-hearted man ! I think it would only be a decent mark of respect to my family if the M'Carthy arms was hung up over the door, to show I wasn't a Dodd. The crest is an angel sheltering a fox, or a beast like a fox, under his wing ; but you'U. see it on the spoons. When you seU the piggs — maybe I oughtn't to put two g's in them — but my head is wandering. Pay old Judy Cobb two-and-sevenpence for the yarn, and say that I won't stop the ninepence out of Betty's wages ! Maybe, when I'm gone, they'll begin to see what they've lost, and maybe K. I. will feel it too, when he finds no buttons on his shirts, and the strings out of his waistcoat ; and, what's far worse, nobody to contradict him, and 96 THE DODD TAMILT ABEOAB. control Us wilM nature ! That's the very struggle that's kiUing me now ! Nobody knows, nor would believe, the opposition I've given him for twenty years. But ^e'll feel it, MoUy, and that before I'm six weeks in the grave. I don't know my age to a day or a month, but you can put me down at thirty-nine, and maybe the Blast of Freedom would say a word or two about my family. I'd like that far better than to be " deeply regretted," or " to the inexpressible grief of her bereaved relations." I have made it a last request that my remains are to be sent home, and as I know K. I. won't go to the expense, he'U have to bear all the disgrace of neglecting my dying entreaty. That's my legacy ta him, Molly ; and if it's not a very profitable one, the " Duty" wiU not be heavy. Eemember me aifectionately to everybody, and say that to the last my heart was in my own country ; and indeed, Molly, I never did hear so much good about Ireland as since we left it ! I have just taken a draught, that has restored me wonderfully. It has a taste of Cura9oa, and evidently suits my constitution. Maybe Providence, in his mercy, means to reserve me for more trials and misforti;nes ; for I feel stronger already, and am going to taste a bit of roast duck, with sage and onions. Betty has done it for me herself If I do recover, MoUy, I promise you K. I. won't find me the poor submissive worm he has been trampling upon these more than twenty years ! I feel more like myself already ; the " Mixture" is really doing me good. Tou may write to me to this place, with directions to be opened by Mary Anne, if I'm no more. The very thought of it overwhelms me. The idea of one's own death is the most terrible of all afflic- tions ; and as for me, I don't think I could ever survive it. I mean to send for K. I., to take leave of him, and forgive him, before I go ! I'm not so sure that I'd do so, Molly, if it wasn't for the opportunity of telling him my mind about all his cruelty to me, and that I know well what he's at, and that he'U be married again before six months. That's the treachery of men ; but there's one comfort — they are well paid off for it when they marry— as they always do — some young minx of nineteen or twenty ! It's exactly what K. I. is capable of; and I mean to show him that I see it, and all the consequences besides ! The mixture is really of service to me, and I feel as if I could take a sleep. Mary Anne will seal tliis if I'm not awake before post hour. THE DODD FAMILY ABBOAD. 97 LETTEE XIII. FROM K.I. DODD TO THOMAS PUECELL, ESQ., OF THE GBANGE, BRUFF. Liege, Tuesday Evening. Mt deae Tom, TouE reproaches are all just, but I really have not had courage to wield a pen these last three weeks, nor have I now patience to go hack on the past. Perhaps when we meet — if ever that good time is to come round again — I may be able to tell you. something of my final exit from Brussels ; but now, with the shame yet fresh, and the dis- grace recent, I cannot find pluck for it. Here we are at what they caU the " Pavilion," having changed from the H6tel d'Angleterre yesterday. You must know, Tom, that this same city of Liege is the noisiest, most dinning, hammering, hissing, clanking, creaking, welding, smelting, and furnace-roaring town in Europe. Something like a hundred thousand tinkers are at work every day ; and from an egg saucepan to a steam-boiler there is something to be hammered at by every capacity ! Ton would say that tumult like this might satisfy the most craving appetite for uproar ; but not so ; the Liegois are regular gluttons for noise, and they insist upon having Verdi's new opera of " Nabuchodonosor' ' performed at their great Theatre. Now, this same Theatre is exactly in front of the Hotel d'Angleterre, so that when, by dint of time, patience, and a partial dulness of the acoustic nerves, we were getting used to steam-factories and shot-foundries, down comes Verdi on us, vnth a din and clangour to which even the works of Seraing were like an -Slolian harp ! Now, of aU the Pretenders of these days of especial humbug, with our " Long ranges," Morison's pills, and Louis Napoleons, I don't think you could show me a greater Charlatan than this same Verdi. I don't pretend to know a bit about music ; I only knew two tunes all my life, " God save the King" and "Patrick's Day," and these only because we used to stand up and take off our hats to them in the Dublin Theatre ; but modulated, soft sounds have always had their effect on me, and I never heard a country girl singing as she beetled her linen beside a river's bank, or listened to the deep bay of an old fox-hound of a clear winter's morning, without feeling that there was something inside of me somewhere that responded to the note. But this fellow is aU H 98 THE BODD TAMILT ABEOAD. marrow-bones and cleavers ! Trumpets, drums, big fiddles, and bas- soons, are the softest tbings he knows. I take it as a providential thing that his music cracks every voice after one season ; for before long there will be nobody left in Europe to sing him, except it be the steam- whistle of an express traia ! But we live in strange times, Tom, that's the fact. The day was when our operas used to be taken from real life — or what authors and poets thought was real Ufe. "We had the " Maid of the Mill," and the " Duenna," and " Love in a Village," and a score more, plear saut and amusing enough ; and except that there was nothing wrong or incomprehensible in them, perhaps they might have stood their ground. There was the great failure, Tom ; everybody could under- stand them, and nobody need be shocked. Now, the taste is, puzzle a great many, and shock every one ! A grand opera now must be from the Old Testament. Not even drums and kettle-drums would save you, if you haven't Moses or Melchizedek to sit down in white raiment, and see some twenty dam- sels, with petticoats about as long as a lace ruffle, capering and attitu- dinizing in a way that ought to make even a Patriarch blush. Now, this is aU wrong, Tom. The public might be amused without profanity, and even the most inveterate lover of dancing needn't ask David and Uriah for upas de deva. And now, let me remark to you, that a great deal of that so much vaunted social liberty abroad, is neither more nor less than this same latitude with respect to any and everything. "We at home were bred up to believe that good breeding mainly consists in a certain reserve — a cautious deference not alone for the feelings, but even the prejudices of others ; that you have no right to offend your neighbour's sense of respect for fifty thiags that you held cheaply yourself. They reverse all this, here. Everybody talks to you, of yourself, aye, and of your wife and your mother, as frankly as though they were characters of the Heathen Mythology ; they treat you like a third party in these discussions, and very likely it was a prac- tice of this kind originally suggested the phrase of being " beside oneself." You'll perhaps remark that my tone is very low and depressed, Tom ; and I own to you I feel so. For a man that came abroad to enjoy himself, I am, to say the least, going a mighty strange way about it. The most rigid Moralist couldn't accuse me of any Epi- curism, for I seem to be husbanding my Continental pleasures with a laudable degree of self-denial. Would you like a peep at us ? Well, Mrs. D. is over therein No. 19, iabed with fourteen leeches on her temples, and a bottle as big as a black jack of camphor and sal- l\^ THE ioODD TAMILT ABROAD. 99 volatile beside her as a kind of table beverage ;" Mary Aime and Caro- line are somewhere in the dim recesses of the same chamber, silent, if they're not sobbing ; James is under lock and key in No. 17, with Ollendorf 's Method, and the G-ospel of St. John ia Erench ; and here am I, trying to indite a few lines, with blast furnaces and brass instruments baying around me, and Paddy Byrne cleaning knives outside the door ! Mrs. D.'s attack is not serious, but it is very distressing. She has got the notion into her head that Foreign Apottiecaries have a general pardon for poisoning, and so she requires that some of us should always take part of her physic before she touches it. The consequence is, that I have been going through a course of treatment for the last four days that would push an Elephant rather hard. I can stand some things pretty well; but what they caU Edfrigerants, Tom, play the devil with me ! and I am driven to brandy-and-water to an extent that I can scarcely caU. myself quite sober at any time of the day. "Were we at home in Dodsborough, there would be none of this.; so that here, again, is. another of the blessings of bar Foreign erperiences! Ah, Tom! it's all a mistake from beginning to end. Tou wouldn't know your old iriend if you saw him; and although they've padded me out, and 'squeezed me in, I'm not the man I used to be ! Tou tell me that I'm not to expect any more money till November ; but you forgot to tell me how I'm to live without it. "We compro- mised with the Jews for fifteen hundred. Our " Extraordinaries," as the Officials would call them, amounted to three more ; so that, taking aU things into account, we have been living since April last at a trifle more than eleven thousand a year. It's a mercy that when they seE a man out by the Encumbered Estates Court, they ask no impertinent questions about how he contracted his debts. I'd cut a sorry figure under such an Examination. "We have begun the economy, Tom, and I hope that even you wilt be satisfied ; for although this place is detestable to me, here I'll stay,, if my hearing can stand it, till winter. Mary Anne says we might as well be in Birmingham, and my reply is, I'm quite ready to gO' there ! I own to you I have a kind of diabolical delight in seeing them all nonplused. There are neither Dukes nor Marquises here, neither Princesses nor Ballet Dancers ! The most reckless spend- thrift could only ruin himself in steam-boilers, gun-barrels, and kitchen-ranges; — there's nothing softer than cast-iron in the whole town. Our rooms are in the third story. James and I dine at the public h2 100 THE DODD FAMILT ABBOAS. table. Our only piece of extravagance is the Doctor that attends Mrs. D. ; and if you saw him, you'd scarcely give him the name of a luxury ! I needa't say that there is very little pleasure in all this ; indeed, for anything I see, I think we might be leading the same kind of life in Kilmainham Gaol ; and perhaps at last they'll see this themselves, and consent to return home. I go out for an hour's walk every day, but it does me little good. My usual stroll is to a shot factory, and back by a patent bolt and rivet establishment ; but this avoids the Theatre, for I own to you Kabucco, as they call him for shortness, shouts in a manner that makes me quite irritable. James never leaves his room; he's studying hard at last; and although his health would be the better for a little exercise, I'll just leave him to himself. It's right he should pay some penalty for his late conduct. As for the girls, Mary Anne is indignant with me, and only comes to say good morning and good night ; and Gary, though she tries to look cheerful and happy, is evidently fretting in secret. Betty Cobb takes less trouble to repress her feelings, and goes howling about the Hotel like a dog run over by the mail, and is always getting accompanied by strange and inquisitive travellers, who insist upon hearing her sorrows, and occasionally push their inquiries even as far as my room ! Paddy Byrne alone appears to have taken a philosophical view of his position, for he has been drunk ever since we arrived. He usually sleeps in the haU, on the stairs, or the lobbies ; and although this saves the cost of a bedroom, the economy is counterbalanced by occasional little reprisals he takes, as stray gentlemen stumble over him with their bedroom candles. At such moments he smashes lamps and china ornaments, for which his wages will require a long sequestration to clear off. And now a word about home. Our English tenant, you tell me, is getting tired of Dodsborough ; we f;uessed how it would be already. "He thiuks the people lazy!" Ask him, did he ever try to cut turf, with two meals of wet potatoes -per diem ? " They are bigoted and superstitious too." How much better would they be if they knew all about Lord Eosse's telescope ? " They won't give up their old barbarous ways." Isn't that the very boast of the Conservative party ? Isn't that what Disraeli is preaching every day and every hour ?^-" PaU back upon this — ^fall back upon that — think of the spirit of your ancestors." Now they say, our ancestors yoked their horses by the tails to save a harness. It's rather hard that all the " progress," as they call it, must begin with the poor. It's a dead puzzle to me, Tom, to explain one thing. THE DODD FAMILY ABBOAD. 101 All the Moralists, from the earliest ages, keep crying up humility, and telling you that true nohility of soul consists in self-denial and moderation, simple tastes, and so on ; and yet, what is the great re- proach they bring against Paddy ? Isn't it that he is satisfied with the potato ? There's the head and front of his offence. That he doesn't want beef, like the Enghshman — nor soup and three courses, like " Mounseer" — nor sauerkraut and roast veal, like a German ; " Cups and cold water" being the food of a fellow that could thresh the whole three of them aU round, and think it mighty good fun besides. Poor Dan used to say that he was the best abused man in Europe ; but I'U. tell you that the potato is the best abused vegetable in the universal globe. Erom the Times down to the Scotch farmers, it's one hue-and-cry after it — " The filthy root" — " the disgusting tuber"' — " the source of all Irish misery" — " the Eather of Eamine, and Mother of Eever" — on they go, blackguarding the only food of the people, tin at last, aa if it were a judgment on their bad tongues, it took to rot in the ground, and left us with nothing to eat. Now, Tom, you know as weU as myself, Ireland is not a wheat country ; it's one year in three that we can raise a crop of it ; for our climate is as treacherous as the Englisli Government. I hope you wouldn't have us live on oats, like the Scotch ; nor on Indian corn, like the Savages ; so what is there like the potato ? And then, how easy the culture, and how simple the cookery ! It does weU in every soil, and agrees well with every constitution. It feeds the peasant, it fattens the pig, it rears the children, and supports the chickens. What can compare with that ? Do you know that there's no cant of the day annoys me more than that cry about model farming, and green crops, and rotations, and sub-soiling, and so on. The whole ingenuity of mankind would seem devoted to ascertaining how much a bullock can eat, and how little will feed a labourer. Stuff one and starve the other, and you may be the President of an Agricultural Society, and Chairman of your Union. What treatises we have upon stock, and improving the breed of boars ! Will you tell me who ever thought of turning the same attention to the condition of the people ? and I'm sure, if you go into the county Galway, you'll soon acknowledge that they need it. " Look at that lanky pig," calls out the Scotch Steward, in derision; "his snout and his legs are fit for a greyhound!" But I say, " Look at Paddy, there. His neck is shrivelled and knotted, like an old vine-tree ; his back rounded, and his legs crooked ; all for 102 THE BODD TAMILT ABEOAD. want of care and nourishment. Is all your sympathy to be kept for the sheep, and have you none for the Shepherd ?" I made some memorandums for you about Belgian farmJTig, but Mary Anne curled her hair with them. It's no loss to you, however, for their system wouldn't do with us. Small tenures and spade hus- bandry do mighty well here, because there are great cities within a few miles of each other, and agriculture takes somewhat the character of market gardening ; but their success would be far different were there long distances to be traversed with the produce. This country is certainly prospering ; but I'm not so certain that it can continue to do so. Their industry is now stimulated to a high state of productiveness, because they are daily extending their rail- roads ; but there must come an end to that, and it' strikes me that a country that only deals with itself, is pretty much what the adage says of the " Man that is his own Doctor." They are now, however, enjoying what your Political Economists all agree in pronouncing to be the great test of prosperity. Everything has nearly doubled in price ; house rent, meat, vegetables, wages, clothes, luxuries of all kind, and, of course, taxation. I own to you I never clearly understood this problem ; it always seemed to me as if a whole population took to walk upon atUts, for the pleasure of thinking themselves nine feet high. These matters put me in mind of Vickars. I now see that I was wrong in not going over to the election. His tone is quite changed, and he writes to me as if I were a deputation from the distressed hand- loom weavers. He acknowledges mine of the 5th ult., and he de- plores, and regrets, and feels constrained to remind me, and so on, ending with being " humble and obedient"— two things that I believe his own mother never found him. The fact is, Tom, he's in Parlia- ment, and he is a Lord of the Treasury, and he doesn't care a brass farthing for one of us. Do you remark how the Ministerial papers praise the Grovemment for promoting Irishmen ? It is not on the ground of their superior capacity for office, their readiness and natu- ral ability. Nothing of the kind ; it is simply the unbounded genero- sity of the Administration, and perhaps as a proof of their humilily ! They put an Irishman in the Cabinet, just as the Eoman Conqueror took a slave in his chariot — to show that they don't intend to forget themselves ! I wish Fimch would make a picture of it. Pat with his pipe in his mouth beside the Premier ; the roguish leer of the eye, the care- less ease of his crossed legs, and small-clothes open at the knee, would be a grand contrast to the high-bred air of his companion. THE DODD TAMILY ABEOAB. 103 Don't bother me any more about the salmon weirs ; make the best bargain you can, and I'll be satisfied. It appears to me, however, the more laws we have, the less fish we catch. In my fether's time there was no legislation at all, and salmon was a penny a pound. The fish seem to hate acts of Parliament just as much as ourselyes ! And, talking of that, I'm glad we're out of our scrape with the Yan- kees. Depend upon it, all the cod that ever was salted wouldn't pay for one coUision. It wouldn't be Kfce any other war, Tom, for Eremeh and Eussians, Austrians and Italians, have each their separate peculiarities — giving certain advantages in certaiu situations; but we — ttiat is, English and Americans — ^fight exactly in the same way. Each knows every dodge of the other — long sixty-fives and thirty- twos, boarders, riflemen, riggers — all alike. It's the old story of the Kilkenny cats, and I'm greatly afraid our "taU" would he nearly as much mauled as Jonathan's. The longer I live, the nearer I find myself drawing to these Yan- kees ; and I've some notion of going over there to have a look at them. They tell me that the worst thing about them is the air of gravity, even of depression, that prevails — a strange fault, considering how many Irish there are amongst them ; but I suppose Paddy is hke the rest of the world, and he loses his fun when he gets prosperous. There was Tom Martin, that went our Circuit, and there wasn't as pleasant a fellow at the Bar till he got into busiuess. There was no good askiug him to dinner after that ; as he owned himself, " He kept his jokes for his clients." Now, there may be something like this the case in America ; at aU. events, Tom, I'd have one advantage, there — I'd know the language, what I'm never likely to do, here ; not but I'm doing my best every day at the table d'hote ; occasionally, per- haps, with some sacrifice of the " propers ;" but as a foreigner is so polite to laugh, the stranger has little chance to learn. For my ovm part, I'd rather they'd teU me when I was wrong, and give me some hope of going right. I'd think it more friendly of a man to say, " Kenny Dodd, you're going into a hole," than if he smiled and sim- pered, and assured me that I was in the middle of the path, and getting on beautifully. And there isn't any good-nature in it ; not a bit. It's not good- heartedness, nor kindness, nor amiability. I don't believe a word of it; because the chap that does it isn't thinkiug of you at aU — he's only minding himself; he's fancying how he's delighting you, or capti- vating your wife, or your sister-in-law ; or, if it's a woman, she wants to fascinate or make a fool of you. The real and essential difference between us and all foreigners is, 104 THE DODD PAMILT ABEOAD. that they are always thinking of what effect they are producing ; they never for a single moment forget that there is an audience. Now we, on the contrary, never remember it ! Life with them is a, Drama, in all the blaze of wax-lights and a crowded house ; with us, it's a day- rehearsal, and we slip about, mumbliug our parts, getting through the performance, unmindful of all but our own share iu it ! More than half of what is attributed to rudeness and unsociaHty in us, springs out of the simple fact that we do not care to obtrude even our politeness where there seems no need of it. Gur civilities are like a Bill of Exchange, that must represent value one day or other. Theirs are like the gilt markers on a card table : they have a look of money about them, but are only counterfeit. Perhaps this may explain why our women like the Continent so much better than our- selves. AU this mock interchange of courtesy amuses and interests tJiem ; it only worries «*. To come back to Vickars. He'll do nothing for James. His " own list is quite full;" he " has mentioned his name," he says, "to the Secretary for the Colonies," and will speak of him " at the Home Office." But I know what that means. The party is safe for the present, and don't need our dirty voices for many a day to come. It's distressing me to find out what to do with him. Can you get me any real information about the gold diggings ? Is it a thing that would suit him ? His mother, I know well, would never consent to the notion of his working with his hands ; but, upon my conscience, if it's his head he's to depend on, he'll fare worse ! He is very good-look- ing, six foot one and a half, strong as a young bull ; and to ride an unbroken horse, drive a fresh team, to shoot a snipe, or hook a salmon, I'll back him against the field. I hear, besides, he's a beau- tiful cue at billiards. But what's the use of all these at the Board of Trade, if he had even the luck to get there ? Many's the time I've heard poor old Lord Kibnahon say, that an Irish education wasn't worth a groat for England ; and I now see the force of the remark. Not but he's working hard every day, with French, and forti- fication, and military surveying, with a fine old Officer that served iu the wars of the Empire — Captain de la Bourdonaye — a regular old soldier of Bony's day, that hates the English as much as any Irishman going. He comes and sits with me now and then of an evening, but there's not much society ia it, since we can't understand each other. We have a bottle of rum and some cigars between us, and our con- versation goes on somewhat iu this fashion : " Help yourself, Mounseer." A grin and bow, and something mumbled between his teeth. THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAB. 105 "Take a weed?" We smoke. " James is getting on well, I hope ? Mon fils James improvimg, eh ? Grand General one of these days, eh ?" " Oui, oui." !Fills and drinks. " Another Bonaparte, I suppose ?" " Ah ! le grand homme !" "Wipes his eyes, and looks up to the ceiling. " "WeU, we threshed him for aU that ! Faith, we made him dance in Spain and Portugal. What do you say to Talavera and Vittoria ?" Swears like a trooper, and rattles out whole volumes of French-, with gestures that are all but hlows. I wait till it's over, and just say " Waterloo !" This nearly drives him crazy, and he forgets to put water in his glass; and off he goes about Waterloo in a way that's dreadful to look at. I suppose,'_if I understood him, I'd break his neck ; but as I don't, I only go on saying " Waterloo" at intervals ; but every time- I utter it, he has to blow off the steam again. When the rum is finished, he usually rushes out of the room, gnashing his teeth, and screaming something about St. Helena. But it's all over the next day, and he's as polite as ever when we meet — grins, and hands me his tin snuff-box with the air of an Emperor ! They're a wonderful people, Tom; and though they'd murder you, they'd never forget to make a bow to your corpse. You may imagine, from what I teU. you, that I am very lonely here ; and so I am. I never meet anybody I can speak to — I never see any newspaper I can read ! I eat things without knowing the names of them, or, what's worse, what they are ; and all this I must do for economy, while I could live for less than one-half the expense at Dodsborough ! Mary Aime has just come to say that the Doctors are agreed Mrs. D. must be removed — the noise of the town wiU destroy her ! My only surprise is that she didn't discover it sooner. They speak of a place caUed Chaude Fontaine, seven mUes away, and of a little watering-place called Spa. But I'U not budge an inch tiU I have all the particulars, for I know well they're all dying to be at the oH work again — tea-parties, and hired horses, and polkas in the evening, and the rest of it. Lord George has arrived at Liege, and I wouldn't be astonished if he was at the bottom of it all ; not but he behaved well in James's business. To deal with a Jew there's nothing in the world Hke one of your young sprigs of nobility ! Moses doesn't care a bulrush for you or me ; but when he hears of a Lord Charles 106 THE DODD EAMILT ABEOAD. or Lord Augustus, lie alters his tone. It is that class which supplies his customers, and he dares not outrage them. I wish you saw the way he managed oiir* friend Lazarus ! He wouldn't look into his statement, read one of his accounts, or even hestow a glance at the bills. " I'm up to all those dodges, Lazzy," said he ; " it's no use coming that, over me. What'll you do it for ?" " Ah, my good Lord Shorge, you know better as me that we can- not give away our monies. Here are all the bills " " Don't care for that, Lazzy — won't look at 'em. " What'll you do it for ?" " If I lendmy monies at a fair per shent " " 'Well, what's the figure to be ? Say it at once, or I'm oflF." " You'll shurely look at my claims " "JSTotoneof them." "STor the bills.?" " No." " JSFor the vouchers ?" « Mo." " Oh,, dear! oh, dear! how hard you are grown, and you.so young, and, so handsome, so little like- " " Never mind the rasamblance, but answer me. How much ?" " It's impossible, my Lord Shorge !" " Will two hundred do ? WeU, two fifty ?" " No, nor twelve fifty, my Lord, I will have my claim." " That's what I want to come at, Lazzy. How much ?" This process goes on for half an hour, without amy apparent result on dther side ; when at last Lord George, taking out his pocket- book, proceeds to count various bank-notes on the table. The effect is magical ; the sight of the money melts Lazarus — ^he hesitates, and gives in. Of course his compliance does not cost him much ; fifty per cent, is the very lowest we escape for ! But even at this, Tom, our bargain is a good one. I see it all, Tom ; they are bent on getting to a watering-place, and that's exactly the very thing I won't stand. Our Irish notions on these subjects are all taken from Bundoran, or Kilkee, or Dun- more, or some such localities ; and where, to say the least, there is not a great deal to find fault vrith. Tiresome they are enough ; and, after a week or so, one gets wearied of always waliiing over ankles in deep sand, listening to the plash of the tide, or the less musical squall of some half-drowned baby, or sitting on a rock to watch some miraculous draught of fishes, that ia sure to be sent off some twenty THE DODD TAMILT ABBOAD. 107 miles iato the interica:. These, and occasional pictorial studies of your acquaiatances, in aE the fasciaations of oil-skia caps and wet drapery, tire at last. But they are cheap pleasures, Tom ; and, as the world goes, that is something. ISFow, from all I can learn, for I know nothing of them myself, your Foreign watering-place is just a big City taking, an airing. The self-same habits of dress, late hours, play, dancing, debt, and dissipation ; the great difference being, that wickedness is cultivated in straw hats and Eussia-duck,, instead of its more conventional cos- tume of black coat and trousers ! Prom my own brief experience of life, I think a garden by moonlight is just as dangerous as a con- servatory with coloured lamps ; and a polka in public is less perilous than a mountain excursion, even on donkeys ! They'll not catch me at that game, Tom ! I have just discovered in " Cochrane's Guide" — for I have binned my "John Murray" — the very place to suit me — ^Bonn, on the Bhine. He says it has a pleasant appearance, and contains 1300 houses and 15,000 inhabitants, and that the Star, kept by one Schmidt, is reasonable, and that he speaks English, and takes in the' GaMgnani — two evideneea of civilisation not to be despised. I think I see you smUe ; but that's the fact — we come abroad to hunt after somebody we can talk to, or find a newspaper we can read — making actual luxuries of what we had every day at home for nothing. Besides these, Bonn has a University, and that will be a great thing for James, and Masters of various kinds for the Girls ; but better than all this, there's no society, no balls, no dinners, no Theatre. The only places of public amusement are the Cathedral and the Anatomy House ; and even Mrs. D. wiU be puzzled to get up a jinketing in them ! I'U write to Schmidt this evening about rooms, and I'll show him that we are not to be "done," like your newly-arrived BuUs; for I won't pay more than " four-and-six" a head for dinner ; and plenty it is too. I wish we could have remained here ; but now that the Doctors have decided against it, there's no help. It is not that I hke the place ; Heaven knows I have no right to be pleased with it ; but I'U. tell you one great advantage about it. It was actually "breaking them all in to hate the Continent;" another month of this tinkering din, this tiresome table d'hote, and wearisome exist- ence, and I'd wager a trifle they'd agree to any terms to get away. You'd not believe your eyes if you saw how they are altered. The girls so thin, and no colour in their cheeks ; James as lank as a grey- hound, and always as if half asleep ; and myself, pluffy, and full, and 308 THE BODD FAMILT ABBOAP. short-winded, irascible about everything, and always thirsty, without anything wholesome to drink. But I'd bear it aU, Tom, for the result, or for what I at least expect the result would be. I'd submit to it like a course of physic, looking to the cure for my recompense. Shall I now tell you, Tom, that I have my misgivings about Mrs. D.'s iUness. I was passing the'lobby last night, and I heard her laugh- ing as heartily as ever she did in her Hfe, though it was only two hours before she had sent down for the man of the house to witness her will. To be sure, she always does make a will whenever she takes to bed ; but this time she went further, and had a grand leave- taking of us all, which I only escaped by being wrapped up in blankets, under the " influence," as the Doctors call it, of " tartarised antimony," of which I partook, to satisfy her scruples, before she would taste it. If I have to perform much longer as a pilot balloon, Tom, I'm thinking I'm very likely to explode. As for one word of truth from the Doctors, I'm not such a fool as to expect it. The Priest or the Physician that attends your wife, always seems to regard you as a natural enemy. K he happen to be well-bred, he conducts himself with all the observance due to a distin- guished opponent ; but no confidence, Tom — nothing candid. He never forgets that he is engaged for the " opposite party." Tour foreign Doctor, too, is a dreadful animal. He has not the bland look, the soft smile, the noiseless slide, the snowy shirt-firiU, and the tender squeeze of the hand, of our own fellows, every syl- lable of whose honeyed lips seems like a lenitive electuary made vocal. He is a mean, scrubby, little, damp-looking chap, not unKke the bit of dirty cotton in the bottom of an ink-bottle, the incarnation of black draught and a bitter mixture. He won't poison you, however, for his treatment ranges between dill- water and syrup of gum ; in fact, to use the expressive phrase of the Prench, he only comes to " assist" at your death, and not to cause it. I have remarked that homoeopathic fellows are more attentive to the outward man than the others, whatever be the reason. Their beards and whiskers are certainly not cut on the infinitessimal principle, and, assuredly, flattery is one of the medicaments they never administer in small doses. By the way, Tom, I wish this same theory could be applied to the distresses of a man's estate as weU as that of his body. It would be a right comfortable thing to pay off one's mortgagees with fractional parts of a halfpenny, and get rid of one's creditors on the " decillioneth" scale. " I have now finished my paper, and I have just discovered that I have not answered one of your questions about home affairs ; but, THE DODD TAMILT ABEOAD. 109 after all, does it matter much, Tom ? Things ia Ireland go their Q-wii way, however we may strive to direct and control them. In fact, I am half disposed to think we ought to manage our business on the principle that our countryman drove his pig — turning his head towards Cork because he wanted him to go to Eermoy ! Look at us at this moment. "We never were so thoroughly divided as since we have enjoyed the benefits of a United Education ! If Tullylicknaslatterley must be sold, see that it is soon done ; for if we put it off till November, the boys will be shooting somebody, or doing some infernal foUy or other, that wiU. take five years off the purchase-money. These Manchester feUows are always so terrified at what is called an outrage ! Sure, if they had the least knowledge of the doctrine of chances, they'd see that the estate where a man was shot was exactly the place there would be no more mischief for many a year to come. The only spot where accidents are always recurring is the drop in front of a G-aol ! Try and persuade the Englishman to take Dodsborough for another year. Tell him Ireland is looking up, prices are improving, &c. If he be Hibernian in his leanings, show him how teachable Paddy is — how disposed to learn, and how grateful for instruction. If he be bitten by the Times, tell him that the Irish are all emigrating, and that in three years there wUl neither be a Pat, a Priest, nor a Potato to be seen. As old Eitzgibbon used to say on our circuit, " I wish I had a htmdred pounds to argue it either way !" I can manage to keep afloat for a couple of weeks, but be sure to remit me something by that time. Yours, ever sincerely, Kenny I. Dodd. 110 THE DODD PAMILT ABEOAD. LETTER XrV. JAMES DOSD TO EOBEET DOOLAIT, ESQ., TEINJTY COLLEGE, DTTBLIN, Iiiege, Tuesday Morning. Mt deab Bob, A THOTTSAiTD pardons for not answering either of your two last letters. It was not, believe me, that I have not felt the most sincere interest in all that you tell me about yourself and your doings. Ear from it : I finished two bottles of Hock in honour of your Science Premium, and I have called a short-tailed hack Bob, after you, though unfortunately she happens to be a mare. Mine has been rather a varied kind of existence since I wrote last. A little in the draft-board style, only that the black chequers have rather predominated ! I got " hit hard " at the Brussels races, lost twelve hundred at eearte, and had some ugly misadventures arising out of a too liberal use of my autograph. The Governor, however, has stumped up, and though the whole affair was serious enough at one time, I fancy that we are at length over the stiff couatry, and with nothing but grass fields and light cantering land before us. The greatest inconvenience of the whole has been, that we've been laid up here, " dismasted and in ordinary," for the last three weeks, during which my Mother has made a steeple- chase through the Pharmacopoeia, and the Grovemor finished all the Schiedam in the town. In fact, there has been nothing very serious the matter with her, but as we left the Capital under rather unpleasant circumstances, we came ia here to " blow off our steam," and cool down to a reason- able temperature. To reduce the Budget, and retrench expendi- ture, the choice was probably not a bad one, since we are housed, fed, and done for on the most reasonable terms ; but the place is a perfect disgust, and there is actually nothing for a man to do, except to poke iato steam-engines 'and prove gun-barrels. As for me, I never leave my room from breakfast tiU table d'hote hour. My Ereneh Master comes at eleven and stays till four. This sounds all very diligent and studious, and so thinks the Governor, Bob. The real state of the case is, however, different. The distin- guished officer of the Old Guard engaged to instruct me in military science and mathematics is an old hairdresser, who combines with his functions of barber the honourable duties of Laquais de Place and police spy, occasionally taking a turn at the " scholastic" whenever THE DODD TAMILT ABEOAD. Ill he is lucky enough to find any English illiterate enough to be his dupea. The Grovemor heard of him from the master of the hotel, and took him especially for his cheapness. Such is the Captain de la Bourdonaye, who swaggers up-stairs every morning with a red ribbon in his button-hole, and a cin-Hng-iron in his pocket, for I take good care. Bob, that as he cannot furnish the inside of my head, he shall at least decorate it without. I must say this is a most nefarious old rascal, and I hare heard of more viUany from him than I ever knew before. He knows aU the scandal and gossip of the town, and retails it with an almost dia- bolical raciness. As I have abeady made use of him in various ways, we are bound to each other in the very heaviest of recognisances. He brought me yesterday a note from Lord George, who had just arrived here, but judged better not to see ms tUl he had called on the Grovernor. The Captain was once Lord Gr.'s Courier, and, I believe, the chief Mentor of his earlier continental experiences. Lord George has behaved Kke a trump to me. He has brought away from Brussels all my traps, which, in the haste of my retreat, I had fancied fallen into the hands of the enemy. The brown mare, Bob, a neatish dennet, two sets of single harness, a racing saddle, a lady's ditto, three chests of toggery, all my pipes and canes, and a bull-terrier — the whole of which would have to-day been the chattels of Lazarus, had not Lord G. made out a bill of sale of them to him- self, and got two "respectable" Advocates to swear they were wit- nesses to it. The fun of this is, Lazarus saw all the knavery, and Tiverton never denied it ! The most rascally transactions are dashed with such an air of frankness and candour that, hang me ! if one can regard them as transportable offences ! I Imow all this would be in- famous in England — it wouldn't be quite right even in Ireland,' Bob — but here we are abroad, and the latitude warps morality just as the vicinity to the Pole affects the compass. I have learned from Lord George that there are to be races at a place called Spa, about, twelve miles off, and that if Bob were in training we might do a good thing among " Les gentlemen riders," who certainly ride like neither Gents nor Jocks. George shpped his knee-cap at a gate the other day, and cannot ride ; and how I am to get away from this for an entire day without the Governor's know- ledge, is more than I can see. I have told the Captain, however, that he must manage it somehow, or I'U turn king's evidence and betray him ; so that the case is not yet hopeless. Bob is exactly the kind of thing to walk into these feUows* She's very nearly thorough- bred, but has a cock-taUed look about her, and with a hogged mane 112 THE DODD TAMILT ABBOAD. and a short dock, is only, to all appearance, a clever hackney. I know well that these foreigners have got first-rate cattle : they huy the very hest of horses, and the smartest carriages, of London; but what avails it: they can neither ride nor drive! They curb up a thorough-bred so that he's thrown clean out of his stride, and they clap the saddle on his withers so that he is certain to come smash down if he tries to cross a furrow. Tou can imagine what hands they have, when I tell you that they all hold on by the head! Lord Gr., however, who knows them well, says that there's no use in bringing over a good horse against them. They are confoundedly cautious, and what they lack in skill they make up in cunning ; and if they heard of anything that ran second at Goodwood or Chester, they'd " shut up" at once. It's only a " dodge" will do, he says, and I am certain nobody knows better than he does. Whenever they get pluck enough for hurdle-racing, there will be some money to be picked up abroad ; but the prosperity won't last, for when one fellow breaks his neck, there will be an end of it. I'll not close this till I can teU you the success of our scheme for the races. Meanwhile to your questions, which, to make short work of, I'll answer all at once. It's all very fine to talk about studying, and the learned professions, but how many succeed in them ? Three or four swells carry off the stakes, and the rest are nowhere ! Let me tell you, Bob, that the fellows that really do best in life never knew trade nor profession, except you can call TattersaU's yard a Lecture-room, and Short- Whist a calling. There's Collingwood's got two hundred thousand with his wife ; Upton, he's netted thirty on the last Derby, and stands to win at least twelve more on the Spring Meeting. Brook — Shallow Brook, as you used to call him at school — has been deep enough to break the Bank at Hamburgh! I just wish you'd show me one of your University Dons who could do any one of the three ! If it came to a trial of wits, the Heads of Houses wouldn't have houses over their heads. Believe me. Bob, the Poet was right, "The proper study of mankind is man!" and if he add thereto a little knowledge of horseflesh, there's no fear of him in this life! Look at the thiag in another light, too. The Church is only open to the Protestants ; the Bar is, then, the sole profession with great rewards ; for as to the Army and Navy, they may do to spend money in and leave when you're sick of them, but nothing else. Now the Bar is awful labour ; ten or twelve hours a day for three or four years, as many more in a special pleader's office, six years after that reporting for the newspapers ; and, perhaps, after three or four strug- THE DODD TAMILT ABEOAD. 113 gling terms you drop oS out of the course altogether, and are only heard of as writing a threatening letter to Lord John Eussell, or as our " own Correspondent at Tahiti !" As to Physic, " I throw it to the dogs." It's not a gentlemanly calling ! So long as a fellow can rout you out of hed at night for a guinea, it's all nonsense to talk about independence. Tour Doctor hasn't even the Cabman's privilege to higgle for a trifle more. Eeal liberty, Bob, consists in having no craft whatsoever. Like the free Lances in the sixteenth century, take a turn of service wherever it suits you, but wear no man's livery. As Lord George remarks, whenever a fellow takes to that line of life the men are all afraid, and the women all delighted with him ; he's so sure with his pistol and so lax in his principles, nothing obstructs his progress. This same glorious independence I am like enough to attain, since, up to this moment, I am a perfect gentleman, according to Lord George's definition ; nor could I, by any means that I know of, support myself for twenty-four hours. You would probably remark, that so blank a prospect ought to alarm me. Not a bit of it ! I never felt more thoroughly confident and at ease than now as I write these lines. George's Theory is this : Life is a round game, with some skill and a vast amount of hazard ; the majority of the players are dupes ; who, some, from inattention, some, from deficient ability, and others, again, from utter indifierence, are easy victims to the few shrewd and clever fellows that never neglect a chance, and who know when to back their luck. " Do not be too eager," says George — '' do not be over anxious to play, but just walk about and watch the game for a year or so, and only cut in when it suits you. By that time you have mastered the peculiar style of every man's play. Ton are up to all their weak- nesses, and aware of where their strength lies ; and if you can only afford to lose a little cash yourself at the start, and pass for a pigeon, your fortune is made !" This, of course, is but a sorry sketch of his system ; for, after all, it requires his own dashing description, his figurative manner, and his flow of illustration, to make the thing in- telligible. He is, in reality, a first-rate fellow, and may be what he chooses. All that I know of life I owe to his teaching ; and I own to you I was in the " lowest form" when he began with me. The only thing that distresses me now, is the fear that Vickars may yield to the Governor's solicitations, and give, or get me, something — some confounded official appointment, that would shut me all day in a Government Ofiice, on mayhap one hundred and twenty per annum, with a promised increase of ten pounds when I attain the age of fifty. I'd nearly as soon be in the Hulks as the Home Office, I 114 THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAD. and I'm ceBtain that pouading, oyster-Bbells is j net as intelleetualj and a far more salubrious occupatioii, than precis writing ! The dread of ■ such a destiny has induced me to take a rather bold step, and one which it is possible you wiU not exactly approve of. I have written, myself, a "private and strictly confidential" note to Viekars, to say that my Father's application to him on my behalf never had my sanc- tion nor approval — ^that I despise the Board of Trade, and hold the Customs uncommon cheap ; aad that although there are some Gentle- men in what they call the Diplomatic service, that all the juniors are snobs, and the grade above them — what George calls snoozers — old red-tapery fellows, that label their washing. biUs " Soap question," and send out their boots to be new soled in an old despatch bag. I have added a few lines,, by way of showing that my repugnance does not proceed from any disinclination to exertion, or an active life — that I am quite ready to accept of a commission in the Guards, or any good post in the Household, where my natural advantages might be seen and appreciated. I have not told Lord George about this, because he is tremendoudy opposed to my taking anything like office. He says it's not only " bad. style," but a positive throwing away of oneself; since whenever they do get a regularly cleverfeUow amongst them, they always keep him in some subordinate position. " They'll just treat you the way they did Edmund Burke," he says ; and though I am not aware how that was, I am quite satisfied it was a rascally shame! Our name, too, I own to you, in all frankness, is awfully against us. Lord George has advised me over and. over to add a syllable or two to it ; so I should, perhaps, if I were not living with the Governor; but, for the present, I must submit. The Captain has just dropped in to tell me that aU is arranged — I am to have a fearful toothache, and be confined to bed for two days ; and this, with heavy blankets and nitre whey, will take at least seven pounds off me. The Governor is to be seduced: into an excursion, to see the works of Seraing. "We have contrived to have his card of admission dated for a particular day, and the hackney coachman has been bribed to break down on the way home, and. detain him several hours. Lord George is to have a drag ready for me at the outside of Liege at eigfht o'clock, and I hope to figure on the course by twelve ! Mary Anne alone is in the secret. I was obliged to teU her, since, without her aid, I should have had no jacket ; but she has cut up a splendid green, satin of my Mother's, which, with white sleeves and cap to match, will turn me out rather smart, and national to boot. Bob is already gone, and has had her canters for the last four morn- ings, so that who knows but we shall do something. THE DOBD EAMILT ABBOi.!). 115 Tou describe to me the trepidation of heart you felt ou going up for honours at College — the fits of heat and cold, the tremblings, the sighiu^, the throbbings, and faintishness ; trust me, Bob, it's all nothing to what one experiences on the eye of a race ! Your contest is conducted in secret — your success or failure is witnessed by a few ; otirs is an open tournament, with thousands of spectators, who are, or who at least fancy that they are, most competent judges of the performance ; and if it be a glorious thing to come sweeping past the Grand Stand amidst the vociferous cheers of a mighty host, to catch the fitful glance of waving hats and floatiog handkerchiefs as you dash by, it is a sorry affair to come hobbling along dead-lame or broke do?STi, three hundred yards behind, greeted only by the scofis of the multitude and the jokes of the greasy populace. "Which of these fortunes is to be mine you shall hear before I seal this epistle ; and now, for the present, adieu ! Friday Evening. I have just an hoiu' before the post closes to announce to you my safe return here, though I greatly doubt if my swelled and still trembling fingers wiU make me legible. We started at cock-crow, and reached Spa for an early breakfast, having "tooled along" with a spicy tandem the thirteen miles in an hour. Before eight o'clock I had taken a hot bath, and reduced my weight nine pounds, having taken seven rounds of the race-course in a heavy fur pelisse of Lord G-eorge's. Twenty minutes more toiling, and some hot lemonade, completed my training, and left me by twelve o'clock somewhat groggy in gait and white about the gUls, and, as George said, very much like a chicken boiled down for a broth ! Our game was not to bet on the general race, but to look on as mere spectators and see what could be done in a private match. This was not so easy, since these Belgian fellows were so intent on the " Liege St. Leger" and the " Spa Derby," and twenty other traves- ties of the like kind, that they would not listen to anything but what sounded at least like English sport. We had, therefore, to wait with aU. due patience for their tiresome races — " native horses and native jockeys," as theprintedprogramme very needlessly informed us. " Fle- mish mares and Fat riders" would have been the suitable description. I had almost despaired of doing anything, when near five o'clock George came up to say that he had made a match for a hundred Naps, a side ; Bob against Bronchitis, twice round the course. I, to ride my own horse, and Count Amedee de Eiierters the other ; he, giving me twelve pounds and a distance. Not too much odds, I assure you, since Bronchitis is out of Harpsichord by a Bay Middleton mare. i2 116 THE DODB FAMILY ABROAD. Before I had reached the Stand, G-eorge had made a very pretty book ; taking five, and even seven to two, against Bob, and an even fifty on her being distanced. Still I was far from comfortable when I saw Bronchitis : a splendid looking horse, with a great, slapping stride, light about the head, and strong in the quarters ; just the kind of horse that wants no riding whatever, only to be let do his own work his own way. " The mare can't gallop with that horse, G-eorge !" said I, in a whisper. " She'll never see him after the first time round !" " I'm half afraid of that," said he, in the same low voice. " They told me he wasn't all right, but he's in top condition. "We must see what's to be done." He smoked his cigar quite coolly for a minute or two, and then said, " Ah, here comes the Count ! I have it, ' Jim !' " — he always calls me " Jim " — " just mind me, and it will all come right." I was by no means convinced that everything was so safe, how- ever ; and had I been possessed of the fifty Naps, required, I should gladly have paid the forfeit. Fortunately, as it turned out, I hadn't so much money ; so into the scale I went, my heart being the heaviest spot about me ! " Eleven two," said G-eorge ; " we'U say eleven." The Count weighed eleven stone four, which, -with his added weight, brought him to upwards of twelve stone. " It's exactly as I suspected," whispered George tome. "The Belgian has weighed himself as if he was a gold guinea. He has been so anxious not to give you an ounce too much, that he has out- witted himself. All that you've to do, Jim, is, ride at him every now and then ; tease and worry the fellow wherever you can, and try if you can't take some of that loose flesh off him before it's over." I saw the scheme at once. Bob. I had nothing whatever to do but to save my distance to win the race ; for it was clearly impossible that the Count could go twice round a mile course, and come in as heavy as he started. I must be brief, for my minutes are few. Would that you could have seen us going round ! I, lying always on his quarter ; making a rush whenever I got a bit of ugly ground ; and, though barely able to keep up with him, just being near enough to worry him. He wasn't much of a rider, it is true, but he knew quite enough to see that he could run away from me whenever he liked ; and so he did, when he came to the last turn near home. Off he went at speed, pitching the mud behind him, and making my smart jacket something^ like a dirty draughtboard. It was only by dint of incessant spurring. THE DODD TAMIIT ABEOAD. 117 and tremendous pimishment, that I was able to get inside tlie dis- tance-post just as the cheering in front announced to me that he had passed the Grrand Stand. My canter in — for I was so dead beat, it was only a canter — was greeted with a universal yeU of derision. To have a laugh against the Englishman on a race-course was a national triumph of no mean order. "It was a ' set-off' against "Waterloo," George said. In I came, splashed, spattered, and scorned, but not crestfallen. Bob ; for one glance at my victorious rival satisfied me that all was safe. The Count was so completely fagged that he could scarcely get down from his horse, and when he did so he staggered like a drunken man. " Come now. Count, into the scale !" cried Lord George ; " show your weight, and let us pay our money !" " I have weighed already," said the other. " I weighed before the start." " Very true," rejoined George, " but let us see that you are the same weight stiU." It required considerable explanation and argument to show the justice of this proposition, nor was it till a Jury of English Jocks decided in its favour that the Belgians were convinced. At last he did consent to get into the scale, and, to the utter won- derment of all but the few English present, it was discovered that he had lost something like six pounds, and consequently lost the race. It was capital fun to see the consternation of the Belgians at the announcement. They had been betting with such perfect certainty ; they had been giving any odds to tempt a wager ; and there they were! "in," as George said, "for a whole pot of money." While they were counting down the cash, too, George kept assuring them that the lesson they ha:djust received was " cheap as dirt ;" " that it ought by right to have cost them thousands instead of hundreds but that we preferred doing the thing in an amicable way." At such times, I must say, George is perfect. He is so cool, so courteous ; so apparently serious, too, that even his sharpest cuts seem like civil speeches and kindly counsel. I never admired him more than when, having bought a Courier's leather-bag to stuff the gold in, he slung it round his neck, and, taking leave of the party with a polite bow, said : " There are times. Gentlemen, when one goes aU the lighter for a little additional weight !" I scarcely remember how we reached Liege. It was almost one roar of laughter between us the whole road ! And then such plans and schemes for the future ! 118 THE DODD FAMILY ABBOAB. Luck stood by me to tte last. I reached home before the Governor, and in time to resume my bandages and my toothache. Mary Anne had taken care to have a very tidy bit of dinner ready, and now, while I sip my Bourdeanx, I dedicate to you the last moments of piy long and eventful day. I do not ask of you to write to me till you hear again, for there is no giiessing where I may be this day fortnight. Yickars may pos- sibly respond to my request ; or I may find some complaisant Doctor to order me to a distant watering-place, in which case I may get free of the Dodd family, whom, I own to you, Bob, are a serious draw- back on the progress and advancement of your Attached, but now wide-awake friend, Jambs Dobb. Dodd Fere has just come home with a sprained ankle. The scoundrel of a Coachee overdid his instructions, and upset the " con- veniency" into a lime-kiln. I suppose I'll have to pay two or three Tfaps. additional for the damage. One good result, however, has followed : the Governor is in sudi a rage that he has determined to leave this to-morrow. LETTEE XV. MISS rOBD TO MISS DOOLAN, OF BALLTDOOLAK. My deabest Kittx, I no not, indeed, deserve your reproaches. Mine is not a heart to forget the fondest ties of early affection, nor woidd you charge me with this were you near me. But how can you, lying peacefully in the cahn haven of domestic quiet, " sleeping on your shadow," as the Poetess says, sympathise with one storm-tossed, and all but ship- wrecked on the wild, wide ocean of Life. Of the past I cannot trust myself to speak, and I must say, Kitty, if there be one lesson which the Continent teaches above aU others, it is not to go over the by-gone. A week ago, in foreign acceptation, is half a century ; and he who remembers the events of yesterday rather verges on being a " bore" for his pains. Probably it is the intensity THE DODD TAMILT ABB,OAD. 119 ■with wliicli they throw themselves into the "present" that imparts to foreigners their incontestible superiority in all that constitutes social distinction — ^their glowing enthusiasm even about what we should caU trifles — their ardour to attain what we should deem of little moment ! If you were not to witness it, Kitty, you couldn't believe what an odious thiag your regular untraveUed Englishman is. His pride, his stifl&iess, his self-conceit, his contempt for everybody and everything, from good breeding to grammar. Contrast him with yourpHantFrench- man, your courteous Grerman, or your devoted Italian; so smiling and BO submissive, so grateful for the slightest mark of your favour, that you feel all the power of riches in the wealth of your smiles, or the resources of your wit ! And they are so ingenious in discovering your perfections ! It is not alone the rich colour of your hair, the arch of your eyebrow, or the symmetry of your instep, Kitty, but even the secret workings of your fancy, the fitful playings of your imagination ; these they under- standby a kind of magic. I really believe that the reason English- men do not comprehend women is, that they despise and look down upon them. Eoreigners, on the other hand, adore and revere them ! There is a kind of worship paid to the sex abroad that is most fasci- nating. One reason for all this may be, that in England there are so many roads to ambition quite separated from female influence. Now here this is not the case. We are everything abroad, Kitty. Political, literary, artistic, fashionable, as we will. "We can be fascinating, and go everywhere, or exclusive, and only admit a chosen few. "We can be deep in all the secrets of state, and exhausted with aU the cares of the cabinet! or can be "Lionne," and afiect cigars and men society, talk scandal and " coulisses," wear aU the becoming caprices of costume, and be even more than men in independence. ,1 see — or I fancy that I see — -your astonishment at laU that I am teUing you, and that you half exclaim, " Where and how did Mary Anne learn all this ?" I'U tell you, my dearest Kitty, since even the expansion of heart to my oldest friend is not sweeter to me than the enjoyment of speaking of one whose very name is already a speU to me. You must know, then, that after various incidents, too numerous to recount, we left Brussels for Liege, -where poor Mamma was taken so iU that we were forced to remain several weeks. This, of course threw a gloom over our party, and deprived me of the inestimable pleasure I should have felt in visiting the scenes so graphically de- 120 THE BODD PAMILT ABEOAD. scribed in Scott's deligMful " Quentin Durward." As it was, I did contrive to make acquaintance with the old Palace of the Prince- Bishops, and brought away, as souvenir, a very pretty lace lappet and a pair of gold earrings of antique form, which I wanted greatly to suit a "moyen age" costume that I have just completed, and of which I shall speak hereafter. Liege, however, did not agree with any of us. Mamma never slept at night ; Papa did little else than sleep day and night ; poor James overworked himself at study ; and Gary and myself grew posi- tively plain. ! so that we started at last for Aix-la-Chapelle, intending to proceied direct to the Ehiae. On arriving, however, at the " Quatre Saisons" Hotel, Pa found an excellent stock of port wine, which an Englishman, just deceased, had brought over for his own drinking, and he resolved to remain while it lasted. There were for- tunately only seven dozen, or we should not have got away, as we did, in. three weeks. Not that Aix was entirely devoid of amusement. In the morning there is a kind of promenade round the Bath-house, where you drink a sulphur spa to soft music ; but, as James says, a solution of rotten eggs in ditch water is scarcely palatable even with Donnizetti. After that you breakfast with what appetite you may ; then you ride out in large parties of fifteen or twenty till dinner, the day being finished with a kind of half-dress, or no-dress, ball at " the Rooms." The Eooms, my dear Kitty, require a word or two of description. They are a set of six or seven salons of considerable size, and no mean pre- tension as to architecture ; at least, the ceilings are very handsome, and the architraves of doors and windows display a vast deal of orna- ment, but so dirty, so shamefully, shockingly dirty, it is incredible to say ! In some there are newspapers ; in others they talk ; in one large apartment there is dancing ; but the rush and recourse of aU seem to two chambers, where they play at rouge-et-noir and roulette. I only took a passing peep at this Pandemonium, and was shocked at the unshaven and ill-eared-for aspect of the players, who really, to my eyes, appeared like persons in great poverty ; and, indeed, Lord 0-eorge informs me that the frequenters of this place are a very in- ferior class to those who resort to Ems and Baden. I was not very sorry to get away from this ; for, independently of other reasons. Pa had made us very remarkable— I had almost said very ridiculous — before the first week was over. In order to prevent James from frequenting the play-room. Papa stationed himself at the door, where he sat, with a great stick before him, from twelve o'clock every day till the same hour at night — a piece of eccentricity THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAD. 121 that of course drew public attention to him, and made us all the sub- ject of impertinent remarks, and, indeed, of some practical jokes : such as sudden alarms of fire, anonymous letters, and other devices, to seduce him from his watch. It was, therefore, an inexpressible relief to me to hear that we were off for Cologne — that city of sweet waters and a glorious Cathedral ! — though I must own to you, Kitty, that in the first of these two attractions the place is disappointing. The manufacturers of the far- famed perfiime would seem so successfully to have extracted the odour of the richly-gifted flowers, that they have actually left nothing endurable by human nose ! Of aU the towns of Europe, it is, they tell, the very worst ia this respect ; and even Papa, who, between snuff and nerves long inured to Irish fairs and Quarter Sessions, is tolerably indifferent — even he said that he felt it " rather close and stuffy." As for the Cathedral, dearest, I have no words to convey my sen- sations of awe, wonderment, and worship. Tes, Kitty, it was a sense of soft devotional bewilderment — a kind of deUciously pious rapture I felt come over me, as I sat in a dark recess of this glorious buUding, the rich organ notes pealing through the vaulted aisles, and floating upwards towards the fretted roof. Even Lord George — ^that volatile spirit — could not resist the influence of the spot, and he pressed my hand in the fervour of his feelings — a liberty, I need scarcely tell you, he never would have ventured on under less exciting circum- stances. Shall I own to you, Kitty, that this sign of emotion on his part emboldened me to a step that you will call one of daring heroism. I could not, however, resist the temptation of contrasting the solemn grandeur and gorgeous sublimity of our Church with the cold unim- pressive nakedness of Ms. The theme, the spot, the hour — all seemed to inspire me, Kitty ; and I suppose I must have pleaded eloquently, for his hand trembled, his head drooped, and almost fell upon my shoulder. I told him repeatedly that it was his reason I wished to conviace — that I neither desired to captivate his imagination, nor engage his heart. "And why not my heart?" cried he, passionately. "Is it that " Oh, Kitty, who can tell what he would have said next, if a dirty little acolyte had not whisked round the corner and begged of us to move away, and let him light two tapers beside a skull in a glass case ? The officious little wretch might, at least, have waited till we had gone away ; but no, nothing would do for him but he must iUu- 122 THE DOBD TAMELT ABEOAD. minate Hs bones that very instant, and thus, probably, was lost to me for ever the unspeakable trirumph I had .all but accomplished. We arose and set. out in search of our party, who were, it appeared, in quest of Papa ; nor was it for two hours that we found him. He had ascended the tower withrus aU,butiiisteadofcomingdownwhenwe did, he took a short turn on the leads, and, finding the door closed on his retunn, remained a prisoner there djirjng all the time we were in search of him. There is no saying how much longer he might haTC passed in this captivity — for aU his cries- and shouts were unheard-^ had he not hit upon an expedient, 'not entirely deTodd of danger, for his .rescue. This was, to tear, off any loose tiles he could find,. and hurl them over into the street b.eaeath. Why and how nobody was killed by it we cannot guess, for it is a most crowded thoroughfere, and laetually crammed with 'stalls of fruit and vegetables. The but- tresses and projections of the Cathedral probably arrested many of the missives in their flight ; but one, thrown I conjecture with extiaor- dinary force, cameTaang on.theroof of the. Archbishop's carriage, just as his Grace had got in, the noise and the shock almost depriving him of consciousness ! Papa, however, knew nothing of ajl this, -and was actually hard at work detaching a lead gutter when they rushed up and apprehended him. It was almost an hour before we could come to .anything like a reasonable explanation of the incident, foK Papa insisted that he was the aggrieved person throughout, and .raved a&out his action for false imprisonment. The Dean of the Cathedral demanded a handsome simi for reparation, and threw in. a sly word about "sacrilege" if we de- munred. Mamma, still weak anddelicate, took to hysterics, while a considerable mob outside gave token of preparation to maltreat us on our exit. Under .aU these adverse conjunctures, we thought it wiser -to remain where we were tiU night ; so we sent for something to the Hotel, and made ourselTCs comfortable in the sacristan's room, ■where, the first shock over, we grew both merry and happy. Lord G., as usual, beiog the life of our party, by that buoysmt exhilaration that Teally, Kitty, is the first of all Nature's giifts. I already guess whither your thoughts are carrying you,Kitty ! Have I not divined ;aright ? Tou .are calliag to mind the night we passed at the old windmill at Gariif, when the bridge was carried away by the flood ! I vow to you it was uppermost in my own thoughts too ! It was there Peter first told me of his love .! Never till that moment had I the slightest suspicion of his feeling towards me. I was young, artless, and confiding— a mere child of Nature ! Indeed, I must say that he was not blameless in taking -the advantage he did of my fresh THE DODD TAMIIT ABEOAD. 123 and unsuspecting heart ! What knew I of the world ? How eould I anticipate the position I was yet to hold ia society? or how measure the degree of presumption by which he aspired to my hand ? He has many excellent qualities of head and heart. I do not deny it ; but the deceit he thus practised on me I can never forget. I do not desire that you should tell him so. No, Kitty. The like- Mhood is, that we may never meet again ; and I do not wish that one harsh thought should mar the memory of the past ! It may be that, at some future time, I can befriend and serve him ; and he may rest assured, that no station of life, however exalted and brilliant, will separate me from the ties of early friendship. Even now, I am certain, Lord George would oblige me on his behalf. Do you think, or could you ascertain, whether he would like to go out as surgeon to a convict ship ? They tell me that these are excellent appoiatments, and admirably suited to young men of enterprising habits and no friends; and that, if they settle in the colony, they get several thousand acres of land, and as many natives as they can catch. Prom what I can learn, it would suit P. B., for he was always of a romantic turn, and fond of mutton. How my wandering fancies have led me away ! "Where was I ? Gh, in the little vaulted chamber of the Sacristan, with its quaint old wainscot and its one narrow window, dim and many paned ! It was midnight before we left it to return to our Hotel, and then the streets were quite deserted, and we walked along in silent thought- fulness, I leaning on Lord G.'s arm, and wishing — I know not well why — that we had two miles to go ! "We are stopping at the " Emperor," a very fine Hotel that looks out upon the Ehine, and, as my window overhangs the river, I sat and gazed upon the rushing waters till nigh daybreak, occasionally adding a line to this scrawl to my dearest Kitty, and then wafting a sigh to the night-breeze as it stole along. And now at length, and after all these windings and digressions, I come to what I promised to speak of in the early part of this rambling epistle. "We were at breakfast on the morning after what Lord G-. calls otir " Cathedral service" — for he persists in quizzing about it, and says that Pa was practising to become a " minor canon," when a very handsome travelling-carriage drove up to the Hotel-door, attracting us all to the windows by the noise and clatter. It was one of those handsome britschkas. Batty, that at once bespeak the style of their ovmer ; scrupulously plain and quiet — almost Quaker-like in simplicity, but elegant in form, and surrounded with aU that luxury 124 THE DODD FAMIIT ABBOAD. of eases and imperials that show the trayeller carries every indulgence and comfort along with him. There was no Courier, but a very smartly-dressed maid, evidently French, occupied the rumble. "While we stood speculating as to the new arrival, Lord George broke out with a sudden exclamation of astonishment and delight, and rushed down stairs. The next moment he was at the side of the carriage, from which a very fair, white hand was extended to him. It was very easy to see, by his air and manner, that he was on the most intimate terms with the fair traveller ; nor was it difficult to detect, by the gestures of the landlord, that he was deploring the crowded state of the Hotel, and the impossibility of affording accommodation. As is usual on such occasions, a consider- able crowd had gathered — ^beggars, loungers, luggage-porters, waiters, and stable-men, who all eagerly poked their heads into the carriage, and seemed to take a lively interest in what was going forward, to escape from whose impertinent curiosity Lord Gr. entreated the lady to alight. To this she consented, and we saw a very elegant-looking person, in a kind of half-mourning, descend from the carriage, displaying what James called a " stunning foot and ankle " as she alighted. "We had not time to resume our seats at the breakfast table, when Lord George rushed in, saying, " Only think, there's Mrs. Gore Hampton arrived, and not, a place to put her head in ! Her stupid Courier has, they say, gone on to Bonn, although she told him she meant to stay some days here." Ifow, my dearest Kitty, I blush to own that not one of us had ever heard of Mrs. Gore Hampton till that hour, although unques- tionably, from the way Lord George announced the name, she was as well known in the great world as Albert Prince of "Wales and the rest of the Eoyal Tamily. "We of course, however, did not ex- hibit our ignorance, but deplored, and regretted, and sorrowed over her misfortune, as though it had been what the Times calls " a shock- iug case of destitution." " It just shows !" said Lord George, as he walked hurriedly to and fro, rubbing his hands through his hair in distraction, " that with every accident of fortune that can befal human beings — rank, wealth, beauty, and accomplishment, one is not exempt from the annoyances of life. If a man were to have laid a bet at Brookes's, that Mrs. Gore Hampton would be breakfasting in the public room of a Hotel on the Ehino on such a day, he'd have netted a pretty smart sum by the odds." THE DODD TAMILT ABROAD. 125 "And is she ?" cried three or four of us together. "Is that possible ?" " It will be an accomplished fact, as the French say, in about ten minutes," cried he, " for there is really not a comer unoccupied in the Hotel." We looted at each other, Kitty, for some seconds in silence, and then, as if by a common impulse, every eye was turned towards Papa. Whatever his feelings, I cannot pretend to guess, but he evidently shrunk from our scrutiny, for he opened the Oaligncmi and en- trenched himself behind it. "I'm sure that either Mary Anne or Gary," broke in Mamma, " would willingly give up their room." "Oh! delighted — but too happy to oblige," cried we together. But Lord G-eorge stopped us. " That's the worst of it — she is so timid, so fearful of giving trouble, and especially when she is not ac- quainted, that I'm certain she could not bring herself to occasion all this inconvenience !" " But it will be none whatever. If she could be content with one room " " One room 1" cried he — " one room is a Palace at such a moment. But that is precisely the value of the sacrifice." We assured him, again and again, that we thought nothing of it ; that the opportunity of serving any friend of his — not to speak of one so worthy of every attention — ^was an ample recompense for such a trifling inconvenience. We became eloquent and entreating, and at last, I actually believe, we had to importune him at least to give the lady herself the choice of accepting our proposition. " Be it so," cried he suddenly ; and starting up, hurried down stairs to convey our message. When he had left the room, we sat staring at each other, as if pro- foundly conscious that we had done something very magnanimous and very splendid, and yet at the same time not quite satisfied that we had done it in the right way. Mamma suggested that Papa ought to have gone down himself with our oiFer. He, on the contrary, said that it was lier business, or that of one of the girls. James was of opinion that a civil note would be the proper thing. " Mrs. Kenny James Dodd, of Dodsborough, presents her respectful compliments, and so forth" — thus giving us the opportunity of mentioning our an- cestral seat, not to speak of the advantage of rounding off a mono- syllabic name with a sonorous termination. James defended his opinion so successfully, that I actually fetched my writing-desk and 126 THE DODD rAMILT ABEOAD. opened it on the breakfast-table, wben Lord G-eorge flung wide the door, and announced " Mrs. Gore Hampton!" Ton may judge of our confusion, wben I tell you that Mamma was in her dressing-gown and without her cap ; Papa ia his shocldiig old flannel robe de chambre, with the brown spots, which he caUs his " Leprosy," and a pair of fur boots that he wears over his trousers, giving him. a look of the Eussian ferryman we see in the vignette of " Elizabeth, or the Exiles of Siberia ;" Gary and I in curl-papers, and " not fastened ;" and James in a sailor's check shirt and Eussia-duck trousers, with a red sash round him, and an enormous pipe in his hand — a picturesque group, if not a pleasing one. I mention these details, dearest Kitty, less as to any relation they bear to ourselves, than for the sake of commemorating the inimitable tact of our accom- plished visitor. To any one of less pea-feet breeding the situation might have seemed awkward — almost, indeed, ludicrous. Mamma's efibrts to make her seaaity drapery extend to the middle of her legs — Papa's struggles to hide his feet — James's endeavours to escape by an impracticable door— and Gary and myself blushing as we tried to shake out our curls, made up a scene that anything short of courtly- good manners might have laughed at. Li this trying emergency she was perfect ! The easy grace of her step, the elegant qidetude of her manner, the courtesy with which she acknowledged what she termed our "most thoughtful kindi^ss," were actual fascinations. It seemed as if she really carried into the room with her an atmosphere of good breeding, for we, magically as it were, forgot all about the absurdities of our appearance. Mamma thought no more of her ahnost Highland costume. Papa crossed his legs with the air of an old elephant, and James leaned over the back of a chair to converse with her, as if he had been a Gaptain of the Goldstreams in full uniform. To say that she was charming, Kitty, is nothing; for, besides beang almost perfectly beautiful, there is a grace, a delicacy, a feminine refinement in her manner, that make you feel her loveliness almost secondary to her elegance. It seemed, besides, like an instinct to her, the way she fell ia with all our humours, enjoying with a keen zest Papa's acute and droll remarks about the Contiuent and the habits of foreigners. Mamma's opinions on the subject of dress and domestic economy, and James's notions of " fast men" and " smart people" in general. She repeatedly assured us that she concurred ia everything we said, and gave exactly the same reasons for preferring the Gontinent to England that we did, instancing the very fact of our making ac- THE DODD TAMILT ABEOAD. 127 quaintance in this imeeremoiuous manner, as a palpable case in point. " Had we been at the Star and Garter, at Windsor,, or the Albion, at Brighton," said she, " you had certainly left me to my fate, and I should not have been now enjoying the privilege of an acquaintance that I trust is not destined to end here." Oh ! Eitty, if you could but have heard the tone of winning soft- ness with which she uttered words simple as these. But, indeed, the real charm of manner is to invest commonplaces vsdth interest, and impart to the mere nothings of intercourse a kind of fictitious value and importance. She congratulated us so heartily on travelling without a Courier — ^the very thing we were at the moment ashamed of, and that Mamma was trying all manner of artifices to conceal. " It is so sensible of you," said she, " so independent, and shows that you thoroughly understand the Continent. Travelling as I do" — there was a sorrowful tenderness as she said this, that brought the tears to my eyes — " traveUing as I do," — she paused, and only resumed after a moment of difficulty — " a Courier is indispensable ; but i/ou have no such necessity." " And Gregoire apparently wants to show you how well you could do without him," cried Lord George. " He has gone on to Bonn, and left you here to your destiny." " Oh, but he is such a good, careful old creature," said she, " that though he does make fearful mistakes, I cannot be angry with him." " It's very kind of you to say so," resumed he ; " but if Jtold him that I meant to stop at Cologne, and he went forward to order rooms at Bonn, I'd break his neck when we met." " Then I assure you I shall do no such thing," added she, taking off' her gloves, as if to show how unsuited her beautifully taper fingers, aU ghttering with gems, would be to any such occupa- tion. " And now you'll have to wait here for Pordyce ?" said he, half angrily. " Of course I shall!" said she, with a sweet smUe. Lord George made some rejoinder, but I could not hear it, to this, and so, Kitty, we aU determined, that instead of at once setting out for Bonn, we should stay and dine with Mrs. Gore Hampton, and not leave her tiU evening — a kindness at which she really seemed overjoyed, thanking each of us over again and again for our " dear good-nature." And now, Kitty, I have just left her to hasten off these lines by 128 THE DOBD FAMILY ABROAD. post hour. My heart is yet fluttering with the delight of her charm- -ing conversation, and my hand tremhles as I write myself Tour ever attached and fascinated friend, Maet Anite Dodd. Hotel de TEmpereur, Cologne. P.S. — Mrs. Gr. H. has just slipped in to my dressing-room to say that she is so sorry that we are going away ; that she feels as if we were actually old friends already. She has evidently some secret sorrow : would that I knew how to console her ! "We are to write to each other, but I am not to show her letters to Gary : this she made an express stipulation. She thinks Gary " a sweet girl, but volatile ;" and I believe, Kitty, that there is something of levity in her character, which is its greatest defect. THE DODD rAMIIiT ABBOAD. 129 LETTEE XVI. KENNY I. DODD TO THOMAS PCRCELL, ESQ., OF THE GRANGE, BKUEF. Mt deae Tom, Theee's an old Turkish proverb, to the effect that, whenever a man finds himself happy, he should immediately sit down and write word of it to his friends ; for the great likelihood is, that if he loses a post, he'll have to change his note. Depend upon it, the adage has some truth in it ! If, for example, I'd have finished and sent off a letter I began to you last "Wednesday, I'd have given you a very favourable account of myself and our prospects here. The place seemed very much what we were looking for — a quiet little University town on the bank of this fine river — snug and comfortable, and yet, at the same time, not shut in, but with glorious expansive views on every side ; shady walks for noonday, and hiU rambles for sunset ; mu- seums and collections for bad w^eather occupation, and that kind of simple, unostentatious living, that bespeaks a community of small fortunes, and as small ambition. A quaint-looking, half shy, half defiant look in the faces, showed that, if not very great or very rich folk, that they still had other, and per- haps not less sterling claims to worldly reverence ; and so they have too ! There are some of the first men, not only in Germany but. in , Europe, here, living on the income of a London butler, and letting the " first floor furnished" to people like the Dodd family ! It is a great privation to me that I don't speak Grerman, for some- thing tells me we should suit each other wonderfully ! Don't mistake me, Tom, and fancy that I am saying this out of any conceit in my abilities, or any false notion of my education. I beheve in my heart I have as little of one as the other ; and the only wise thing my father ever did, was to take me away jfrom Doctor Bell's when I was thirteen and when he saw that putting Latin and Grreek into me, was like sowing barley in a bog — a waste of good seed, in a soil not fit for it ! But I'll teU you why I think I'd get on well with these Germans ! They seem to be a kind of dreamy, thoughtful, imaginative creatures, that would relish the dry, commonplace thoughts, and hard, practical hints of a man like myself. I couldn't discuss a classical subject with them, nor talk about the varieties of the Greek dialects ; but I s ] 30 THE DODD FAMIIiT ABBOAI). could converse pleasantly enough about the difference between the ancients and ourselves in points of government, and on matters of social life. I know little of books, but I've seen a good deal of men ; and if it be objected that they were chiefly of my own country, I answer at once, that however strongly impressed with his nationality, there's not a man in any country of Europe so versatile, so many- sided, and so difficult to understand, as Paddy. Don't be frightened, Tom ; I'm not going off into the " Ethnologies," and not a word will you hear from me about the facial angle, or frontal development ! I'm not speaking of Pat as if he were a plaster-cast, to be measured with a rule and marked with a piece of charcoal ; I'm talking of him as he is, in a frieze coat, or one of broadcloth — a sceptical, credulous, patient, headlong, calculating, impulsive, miserly spendthrift — a spe- cies of " BuU" incarnate, that never prospers till he is ruined outright, and only has real success in life when all the odds are against him. Ireland's birdlime to me — I stick fast if I only touch it ; and why ain't I back there, growling about the inarkets, cursing the poor- rates, and enjoying myself as I used to do ? Doesn't it strike you, Tom, that we take more " out" of ourselves in Ireland — in the way of temper, I mean — than any other people we hear of in history? Paddy often reminds me of those cutters on the American lakes, where they saw across the timbers to give them greater speed ; we go fast, it is true, but we strain ourselves terribly for the sake of it. And now to cpme back to Bonn : there is really much to like in it. It is cheap, it is quiet without seclusion, and there's no snobbery. Tou know what I mean, Tom. There's not a Tilbury, nor a Tiger, nor a genteel Tea-party in the town ! I don't know of a single waistcoat with more than five colours in it ; and, except James and the head waiter, there's nobody wears diamond shirt buttons. In fact, if we must live out of our country, I thought, that this was about the best spot we could fix upon. "We made an excellent bar- gaitt at our Hotel ; ten pounds a week was to cover everything ; no extras of any kind after that ; so that at last I began to see my way before me, and perceive some chance of solving that curious pro- blem that torments alike Chancellors and Country Grentlemen — ^how to meet expenditure by income. Masters in German, Music, and Mathematics, and other little odds and ends, took a couple of pounds more ; and I allowed myself ten shillings a week for what the Doctor calls "my little charities," that now resolve themselves into threepenny whist, or a game of nine- pins, with the Professor of Oriental Languages. Even you, Tom — THE DODD I'AMILT ABEOAB. 131 " Joe " as you are about the budget — couldn't pick a hole in this ! Not that I want to give myself credit for a measure absolutely impe- rative ; for, to say the truth, our late performances in Brussels were of the very costliest, and even Liege ran away with a deal of money. Doctors have about the same ideas respecting your cash account as your constitution. They never leave either in a state of plethora ! Now, as I was saying, my letter, begun on "Wednesday last, had all these details, and might have concluded with a flattering picture of James hard at his studies, and the girls not less diligently occupied with their music and embroidery— the two resources by which modern ingenuity fancies it keeps female minds employed ! As if Double-Bass or Berlin wool were disinfecting liquors ! I could also have added that Mrs. D. had fallen into that peculiar condition which is natural to her whenever she finds a place stupid and xm- exciting, and which she fondly fancies to be a religious frame of mind ; in other words, she took to reading her breviary, and worry- ing Betty Cobb about her duties ; got up for five o'clock mass, and insisted upon IViday coming three times a week. I could bear all this for quietness' sake ; and if fish diet could insure peace, I'd be content to live upon isinglass for the rest of my days. Mrs. D., however, is not a woman to do things by halves ; there's no John Eusseliam about her; and now that she had taken this serious turn, I saw clearly enough what was in store for us. I had actually ordered a small silk skuU-cap, as a protection to my head, not knowing when I might be sent to do duty in a procession, when suddenly the wind veered round, and began to blow very fresh in ex- actly the opposite quarter. You must know, Tom, that just before we left Cologne, we chanced to make acquaintance with a certaia very fashionable person — a Mrs. Crore Hampton. She was standing disconsolately to be rained on, in the street, when Lord Greorge brought her up-stairs to our rooms, and introduced her to us. She was, I must say, what is popularly called a very splendid woman-^ tall, dark-eyed, and dashing, with a bewitching smUe, and that kind of voice that somehow makes commonplaces very graceful. She had, too, that wonderful tact — ^wherever it comes from I can't guess — to suit us all, without seeming to take the slightest trouble about the matter. She talked to Mrs. D. about London fashionable life, just as if they had both been going out together for the last three or four seasons ; aye, and stranger stiU, without even once puzzling her, or making her feel astray in the geography of this terra meognita. I conclude she was equally successful with the girls ; and though she scarcely ad- k2 132 THE DODD PA.MILT ABEOAB. dressed a word to James, I suppose she must have made up for it by a loot, for he has never ceased raving of her since. I haven't told you how she " landed " me — for I'm not above con- fessing that I was as bad as the rest ; but the truth is, Tom, I don't really know how I was caught. I am too old for these blandish- ments ; they no more suit me now than a tight boot or a runaway hack ; one gets too rheumatic and too stiff in the joints for homage after fifty ; and besides that, there's a kind of croaking conscience that whispers — " Don't be making a fool of yourself, Kenny James !" and between you and me, Tom, 'tis well for us when we're not too deaf to hear it. Besides this, Tom, it is only the fellows that never were in love- when they were young that become irretrievably entangled in after life. If you want to see a true sexagenarian victim, look out for some hang-dog, downcast, mopish creature, or some suspectful, wary, crafty, red-haired rascal, that thought every woman had a trap laid for him. These are your hopeless cases — these are the men that always die in some mysterious manner, and leave vriUs behind them to be litigated for half a century. The Kenny Dodds of this world come into another category. They knew that love and the measles are mildest in young constitu- tions, and so they began early. Maybe it was in a firm reliance on this that I felt so easy about the widow — if widow she be — ^for, to teU the truth, I don't yet know if Mr. Gore Hampton be to the fore, or only has left her a memory of his virtues. I leave you to guess what impression she made upon me ; for the more I go on trying to explain and refine upon it, the less intelligible do I become. One thing, however, I must say— these charming women are the ruin, of Irishmen ! Our own fair creatures, with a great share of good looks, and far more than ordinary agreeabUity, are not so dangerous as the English, and for this reason : in their demands for admiration they are too general ; they — so to say — ^fire at the whole covey ; now your Englishwoman marks her bird, and never goes home tiU she bags it ! "We were to have left Cologne that morning for Bonn, but so agree- ably did the time pass, that we didn't start tiU evening, and even then it was quite tearing ourselves away ; for the delightful widow — for widow I must call her till she shows cause to the contrary — hourly gained on us. She was obliged to wait there for some lawyers or men of business that were to follow her with papers to sign ; and although Lord George did his best to persuade her that she might as well come on with us — THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAD. 133 that Bonn was only fifteen miles further— slie was firm, and said that " Old Mr. Fordyce was a great prig, and when' she had once named Cologne for their meeting, she would have travelled from Naples rather than break the appointment." I own to you, there was a tenacity and determination in all that which pleased me. Maybe, the great charm of it was, that it was very unlike what I'd have done myself! The whole way to Bonn we talked of nothing but her, the discus- sion being all the more unconstrained that Lord George had stayed behind, and was only to come up the next morning. We were agreed upon a number of points : her beauty, her elegance, the grace and fascination of her manner, and her high breeding ; but we took dif- ferent views as to her condition — Mrs. D. and the girls thinking that she was married, James and I standing out for widowhood. Lord George joined us the next day ; and although he could have resolved our doubts at once, Mary Anne stopped all inquiry, by assuring us that nothing was so hopelessly vulgar as to display any ignorance about the family or connexions of people of rank. " If she be in the Peerage, we ought to know her, and all about her. She is, of course, some Augusta Louisa, b. 18 and dash ; m. to the Honourable Leopold Conway Gore Hampton, third son, and so on." In a word, Tom, we had the whole family tree before us, from its old gnarled root to its last bud, and ours the shame if we were ignorant of its botanical properties ! A few quiet humdrum days of Bonn existence had almost obli- terated our memory of the charming widow, and we were beginning to " train oflF" our attachments to fashionable life, when, in aU the splashing and whip-cracking of foreign posting, up dashes the dark green britschka to our Hotel one fine evening ; and before we could well recognise the carriage, the fair owner herself was making the tour of the Dodd , family, embracing, and hand-shaking, as age and sex dictated ! I wish any physiologist would explain why the English, that are so proverbial for a cold and chUliug demeanour at home, grow at once so cordial when they come abroad. Whether it be the fear of the damp, or the swell mob, I can't tell, but everybody in England goes about with his hands in his pockets, and only nods to a friend when he meets him ; whereas, here, you start with a grin at fifty yards ofi", then off goes your hat with a flourish, that, if you have any tact, what with shaking your head, and looking overcome with delight, occupies you till you come up with him, when your greeting grows more enthusiastic — lucky if it does not finish with a kiss on both cheeks. 134 THE DOBD FAMILY ABSOAS. I suppose it was the influence of habit betrayed me, for, iu a fit of abstraction, I took the charming widow into my arms, and saluted her as if she were Mrs. Dodd. If this was in London, Tom, or even in Dublin, there's no saying what mischief might not have grown out of it. I might have been fighting duels every day for the last week, not to mention stiU more formidable encounters of a domestic nature ; but, just to show you what the Continent does for us — ^how instiactively, as it were, we rise above the little narrow pre- judices of our insular sitiiation-^she threw herself into a chair and laughed immoderately. Aye, and droller again, so did Mrs. D. ! To teU you the truth, Tom, I couldn't well believe my senses when I saw it. It would seem to be the same bx morals as iu murder — ^you can dignify the offence by the rank of your victim ; for if it had been one of the maids at home, Mrs. D. would have left my fece like a piece of music paper ! There's a great deal in hosw ypu open an acquaintance ! Ton may be card-leaving, and bowing,- and how-d'ye-doing for years, and never get further ; or, on the other hand, by some lucky accident, you come plump down into the right place, just as a chance shell wiU now and then drop into a magazine, and finish an engagement at once ! In less than an hour after her arrival, Mrs. Gore Hampton was one of ourselves. It was not that she was caUing the girls dearest Cary, and darling Mary Anne, but she had got a regular sisterly tone with Mrs. D. and myself — treating James all the while as if he was about twelve years old, and at home for the holidays. She had not only done all this, but before luncheon was on the table we had ratified a solemn league and covenant that she was to travel with us, and be one of us, going wherever we went, and living as we did. How the treaty was ever mooted, Who proposed, and who signed it, I know no more than the Man m the Moon. It was done in a kind of rattling,' bantering fashion ; and when we rose from table it was all settled; Mis. Q-ore Hampton was to take Gary and Mary Anne with her in the britsohka; the " dear boy" — viz., James — would be the " Qniard in the rumble." There was a place for everybody and everything ; and I believe, if any one had proposed that I should ride the leader, it would have been carried without opposition. Never was there such unanimity ! The whole arrangement was huddled up like a road-presentment on a Grand Jury, or a Private BiU before the House on a Wednesday afternoon. As for myself, if I had even the wiU, I could not have summoned the shamelessness to offer any oppo- sition to the measure. " Devilish good thing for you, Dodd !" whispered Lord George. 1 -^ fe^ THE DODD FAMILY ABBOAD. 135 " Mrs. G-. knows everybody in the world, and doesn't care for money." — " Oh, Papa ! she is delightful ; there never was such a piece of good fortune as our meeting with her," cried Mary Anne. And Mrs. D. assured me, that, for the very first time in her life, had she met a person thoroughly companionable to her in all respects ; in fact, a "kindred soul," though not a " blood relation." Now, Tom, considering that we came abroad to enjoy the advan- tages of high society, fashionable habits, and refined associations, this accident did indeed seem a propitious one ; for, disguise it how we may, the great world is a dangerous ocean to venture upon without a pilot. Our own little experiences might teach that lesson. We Bailed out in all the confidence of a stout crew and a safe' vessel, and a pretty voyage we made of it ! Perhaps we did not make more mis- takes than our neighbours, but assuredly our bltmders were neither few nor insignificant ! Mrs. G-., however, would soon rectify all this. " No more making acquaintance with wrong people, K. I.," says Mrs. D. ; " no more getting into vulgar intimacies at the Caf6, and cementing friendships over a game of dominoes. James will know the class of young men that he ought to mix with, and the girls wiU only dance with suitable partners." It sounded well, Tom ! It was a grand protective policy, that really secured the Dodd family in the possession of all home ad- vantages, and relieved them of aU aggressions " from the foreigner." If we had fallen on a prize in the Lottery, I don't think the joy of our circle could have been greater. I am not going to pretend that I didn't join in it ! I make no affectation of prudent reserve and caution, and Heaven knows what other elegant qualities, that, however natural to other people, very seldom fall to the lot of an Irishman. I vow to you, Tom, I went oflf full cry like the rest of the pack. She is a fine woman this Mrs. Gore Hampton ; she has a low, soft voice, a very bewitching smile, and a way of looking at you while you are talking to her, that somehow half suggests to yourself that you must be making love without linowing it. Now, don't misunderstand me, Tom, and come out with one of your long whistles, as much as to say " Kenny James is as great a fool as ever !" No such thing ! a suit in Chancery, the repeal of the Corn Laws, and the Estates Court, have made me an altered man. The very nature of me is changed, aud changed so much, that many's the time I ask myself, "Is this Kenny Dodd ? Where upon earth is that] light-hearted, careless, hopeful vagabond, that always took the sunny road in life, though, maybe, it wasn't exactly the way to the place he was going !" I'm an- 136 THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAD. other man now ; I'm ■wiser, as they call it ; and, upon my conscience, I'm mighty sorry for it ! But, I hear you say, " Haven't you just confessed that you were, ■what shall I call it — fascinated by the widow ?" And if I did, Tom PurceU, do you mean to teU me that you ■would have escaped her ? Not a bit of it. The brown wig would have been set a little more forward, so as to bring one of those silky curls over your right eye. I think I see you exchanging your spectacles for a double eye-glass, and turning out your toes so as to display to the best advantage that shapely calf in its trim brown silk stocking. Ah, Tom ! not even Quarter Sessions and a Eate in Aid will drive these thoughts out of an Irishman's head. Prom the moment that this new aUiauce -was signed, we entered ' upon a new existence. Bonn, as I have told you, was a quiet little collegiate place, with primitive habits of no very expensive kind. The chief pleasures ■v^ere ■weak wine in a garden, or small whist in a summer-house, ■with now and then an " Esthetic tea," as they phrase it, at the Pro-Eector's ; of which, of course, I understand nothing, but sincerely hope that the discourse was better than the beverage. It vras, I own it, Tom, a strange kind of life, that seemed to me always like a moral convalescence, when you were only strong enough for small virtues. One undoubted advantage it had — it was inexpen- sive, Tom. "We were living, ■with few comforts and some privations, I confess, at only one-third more than we used to spend at Dodsbo- rough ; and, considering that we knew nothing of the language, I conclude that we were enjoying the Continent as cheaply as was practicable. I won't pretend that it suited me. I don't want you to believe that I was taking a scientific or a studious turn. StiU I Uked the place for one thing, which was this — its quiet monotony, its placid, unvarying simplicity was telling upon Mrs. D. and the children in an astonishing manner. It was exactly the way that the water-cxire works its wonders with old drunkards ; the mountain air, the light diet, and the early hours being the best of the remedy. They were getting into a healthy state of mind without ever suspecting it. Our Grand Junction, as Gary calls it, finished this ; from the day Mrs. Gr. arrived our reforms began. Pirst; we had to change our Hotel, and betake ourselves to one on the river side, three times as dear, and not one-fourth as good. The second story was fine enough for us before. Now we have the whole " premier," taking two rooms more than we want, lest anybody should live on the same floor with us. Instead of the table d'h&te, that was cheap and cheerful, we THE BODD TAMILY ABEOAD. 137 were to dine up-stairs — a "particular dinner," as they call what is particularly bad, and costly besides. Then we have had to hire two lacqueys, one of whom sits ia an ante-room all day reading the newspaper, and only rising to make me a grand bow as I pass ; which worries me so much that I usually go down by the back stairs to escape him. "We have two job coaches, for we are too many for one, and a boat hired by the week, with a considerable retinue of mountain ponies and donkeys, guides, goats, whey-seUers, and geological specimen- folk without end. If Mrs. Gr. was only fashionable, we couldn't be more than ruined ; but she is learned and literaryj and given to the " ologies," Tom, and that's what I fear will drive us clean mad. She has an eternal restlessness in her to be at something ; one day, it's the date of a medal ; the next, it is the family connexions of a " moss," or the chemistry of a meteoric stone; and, shall I own to you, my dear friend, that I don't believe she either understands or cares one jot about them all. There's a big Herbarium bound in green, and a grand book of Autographs in blue and gold, on the drawing-room table; there's a bit of "gneiss," a big beetle, and a fossil frog, on the chimney-piece ; but my name isn't Kenny Dodd if she hasn't more sympathies with Modern Dandies than Ante- diluvian Monsters. That's my private opinion ; and, of course, I mention it in confidence. Tou'U say, " What matter is that to you ?' ' and true enough, it is not, as regards her ; but what will become of ns, if Mrs. D. takes a turn for entymology or comparative anatomy, and worse, maybe ? She's just the kind of woman to do it. She'd learn the tight-rope if she thought it was fashionable ; or, as the newspapers say, " patronised by the Aristocracy." Now, Tom, you can fancy the unknown sea upon which we have embarked. Tor, however unadapted we may be to fashionable Ufe, one thing is quite clear — we never were made for the abstract sciences ; and it strikes me forcibly, that the great lesson of continental life is, that everybody can do everything. I am not going to say that it is not a pleasant and a very flattering theory, but is it quite safe, Tom ? that's the question. The highest step I ever attained in Chemistry, was how to concoct a tumbler of punch; and my knowledge of Botany does not go far beyond distinguishing " Grreens " from Gera- niums ; and it's not at my time of life that I'm to drive myself crazy with hard names and classifications ; and, if I know anything of Mrs. D., her intellectual faculties have attained all the vigour that nature meant for them many a year ago ! My own private opinion about these sciences is, they're capital 138 THE DOBD TAMILT ABEOAD. things for employing young people, and keeping them out of •wicked- ness ! The fellows that teach them, too, are rausiy, snufif-taking, prozy old dogs, with heavy shoes and greasy cravats — the very reverse of your race of dancing and music masters, who are a pestilent crew ! So that for a man who has daughters abroad my advice is — stick to the sciences. Grey sandstone is safer than the polka, and there's not as dangerous an experiment in all chemistry as singing duets with some black-bearded blackguard from. Naples or Palermo. Now miud, Tom, this coimsel of mine applies to the education of the young, for when people come to the forties, you may rely upon it, if they set about leamiug anything, they'U have the devil for a school- master. "What does all the G-eology mean ? Junketting, Tom — no- thing butjunketting ! Primitive rock is another name for a Pic-nic, and what they call Quartz is a figurative expression for iced cham- pagne. Just reflect for a moment, and see what it comes to. Ton can enter a protest against family extravagances when they take the shape of balls and soirees, but what are you to do against Botanical excursions and Antiquarian researches ? It's like writing yourself down Goth at once to oppose these. " Oh, Papa hates chemistry ; he despises natural history," that's the cry at once, and they hold me up to ridicule just in the way the rascally Protestant newspapers did Dr. Cullen, for saying that he didn't believe the world was round. If the liberty of the subject be worth anything — ^if the right for which these same Protestants are always prating, private judgment, be the great privilege they deem it — ^why shouldn't Dr. CuUen have his own opinion about the shape of the earth ? He can say, " It suits me to think that I'm walking erect on a flat sur&ce, and not crawl- ing along with my head down, like a fly on the ceiling ! I'm happier when I believe what doesn't puzzle my understanding, and I don't want any more miracles than we have in the Church." He may say that, and I'd like to know what harm does that do you or me? Does it endanger the Protestant succession or the State religion ? Not a J)it of it, Tom. The real fact is simply this : private judgment is a boon they mean to keep for themselves, and never share with their neighbours ! So far as I have seen of life, there's no such tyrant as your Protestant, and for this reason : it's bad enough to force a man to believe something that he doesn't like, but it's ten times worse to make him disbelieve what he's well safcisfiied with; and that's exactiy what they do. Even on the ground of common humanity it is inde- fensible. If my private judgment goes in favour of saints' toe-nails and martyrs' shin-bones, I have a right to my opinion, and you have no right to attack it. Besides, I won't be badgered into what may THE BOBD EAMIIT ABEOAD. 139 suit somebody else to think. My opinion is like my flannel waist- coat, that I'U take off or put on as the weather requires ; and I think it very. cruel if I must wear mine simply because you feel cold. I get warm— I almost grow angry, when I think of these things; and I wonder within myself why none of our people don't expose them, as ttiey might, l^ot that some are not doing the duty weU and man- fully, Tom. M'Hale is a glorious feUow ; and for blackguarding a Prime Minister, for a real good effectiye slanging, it's hard to find his equal. He never embarrasses himself with logic — ^he wastes no time in arguing, but " goes in" at once, and plants his blow between the eyes ! That's what the English can't stand. They want discus- sion. They are always fishing for evidence for this, and a proof of that ; but come down on them with a strong torrent of foul abuse, and you sweep them away like mud in a mill-raee. That's where we always beat them in our controversial discussions, Tom ; and we never failed, so long as we relied on this superiority. It was like the bayonet in the hands of our infantry ! Isn't it strange how I get back to Ireland in spite of me ? I'm like that Mad Man in the story, that can't keep Charles the Pirst out of his memorial ! And, after all, why should I ? Is there any- thing more natural than to think of my country, if I can't manage to live in it ? And this reminds me to ask you about home matters. What was it you wrote at the end of yoiu: letter about Jones M'Carthy ? I can't make out the word, whether it is his "death," or his "debts;" though, from my experience of the family, I sur- mise it to be the latter. If it's dead he is, I suppose we'U come in for that blessed legacy that Mrs. D. has been talking about every day for the last twenty-five years, the history of which I have heard so often, that I actually know nothing about it, except that it was the only bit of property possessed by my wife's relations they couldn't make away with. It was so strictly " tied up," as they call it in law, that nobody could ever get the use of it — ^pretty much like the silver sixpence given to a schoolboy, with the express stipu- lation that he is never to change it. I am rather curious to know what Mrs. D. will think of these "wise provisions" of her ancestors, if she succeeds to the bequest. To tell you the plain truth, Tom, I don't know a greater misfortune for a man that has married a wife without money, than to discover at the end of some fifteen or twenty years that somebody has left her a few hundred pounds ! It is not only that she conceives visions of unbounded extravagance, and raves about all manner of expense, 140 THE DODD FAMILT ABEOAD. but she begins to fancy herself an heiress that was thrown away, and imagines wonderful destinies she might have arrived at, if she hadn't had the bad luck to meet you. Por a real crab-apple of discord, I'll back a few hundreds in the Three per Cents, against all the family jars that ever were invented. Save us then from this, if you can, Tom. There must surely be twenty ways to avoid the legacy ; and so that Mrs. D. doesn't hear of it, I'd rather you'd prove her illegitimate, than allow her to suc- ceed to this bequest. I'U not enlarge upon all I feel about this sub- ject, hoping that by your skill and address we may never hear more of it ; but I teU you, frankly, I'd face the small-pox with a stouter heart than the news of succeeding to the M'Carthy inheritance. There are many other matters I intended to write about, but I believe I must keep them for the next time : such as the plan for taking away the Church property, and the Income-Tax for Ireland ; and that business of the Madiais, that I read of in the papers. So far as I have seen, Tom, the King of Tuscany — if that be his name — was right. There were plenty of books the Madiais might have read with- out breaking the laws. There are translations of all the rascally French novels of the day, from George Sand down to Paul de Kock ; and if they wanted mischief, mightn't these have satisfied them ? But the truth is, Protestants are never easy without they are attacking the true Church, and if there were more of them sent to the galleys, the world would be all the quieter. Ton amaze me about the Great Exhibition for this year in DubUn. Ifaith ! I remember when I used to think that the less we exhibited ourselves the better ! I suppose times are changed. I think, if I could send Mrs. D. over as a specimen of Continental plating on Irish manufacture, she'd deserve a place, and maybe a prize. "Well, well ! it's a queer world we live in. They've just come to tell me that the man of the Post-office has shut up an hour earlier, as he is engaged out to dine, so that I'U keep this open tUl to-mor- row's mail. Wednesday Morning. I suspect that the mischief is done, Tom — I mean about the legacy. Mrs. D. received a strange-looking, square-shaped, formally-addressed epistle this morning, the contents of which, not being a demand for money, she did not communicate to me. She and Mary Anne both retired to peruse it in secret, and when they again appeared in the drawing-room, it was with an air of conscious pride and self-posses- sion that smacked terribly of a bequest. I own to you, the prospect THE DODD TAMILT ABEOAD. 141 alarms me ; it may be that my fears take an exaggerated shape, but T can't shake off the impression that this is the hardest trial I had ever to go through. I know her in most of her moods, Tom, and have got a kind of way of managing her in each of them — not very successful, perhaps, but sufficiently so to get on with. I have seen her in straits about money ; I have seen her in her jealous fits ; I have seen her in her moments of family pride ; and I have repeatedly seen her on what she calls " her dying couch" — an opportunity she always seizes to say the most dis- agreeable things she can think of, so that I often speculate what she'd say if she was really going off — but all these convey no notion to me of how she'd behave if she thought herself rich. As for our poverty, we never knew anything else ; the jealousy I'm getting used to ; the family pride often gives me a hearty laugh when I'm alone ; and I am as hardened about death-bed scenes as if I was an undertaker. It's the prosperity I haven't strength for, Tom ; and I feel it. Maybe, after aU, it's only false terror alarms me. I hope it may turn out so ; and in this last wish I am sure of your hearty sympathy and good feeling. Ever yours, most sincerely, KEKinr I. DoDD. LETTEE XVII. MRS. DODD TO MISTRESS MARY GALLAGHER, DODSBOROUGH. The Rhine Hotel, Bonn. Mx DEAB MOLLT, If my well-known hand did not strike you, the sight of all the black around this letter, and the mourning seal, might suggest the thought that your poor Jemima was no more. Tour next impression will be that Providence had sent for K. I. No, my dear Molly, I am stiU reserved for more trials in this vale of tears. I must bear my burden further ! As for K. I., he's just as he used to be — croaking away about the pain in his toe, or a gouty cramp in his stomach. He's always taking things that disagrees with him, and what he calls " the correctives" makes him worse. I cannot givp you the least notion of how irritable he's grown. Tou know as well as anybody 142 THE BODD TAMILT ABBOAD. the blessings lie has about him. I don't speak of myself, nor the stock I came from. I don't want to revive the dreadful mistake that I made in my youth, nor to mention the struggles I've had •with, him on every subject for more than five-and-twenty years — struggles, my dear MoUy, that would have kUled any one that hadn't the constitu- tion of a horse ; but that now, thanks to the goodness of Providence, have become a part of my nature, so that there isn't an hour of the day or night that I'm not able and willing to dispute and argue with him on any question whatsoever. I don't want to mention these blessings — but isn't there James and Mary Anne, and, indeed, except for some things, Caroline — was there ever a father with more reason to be proud ? And so you'd say if you only saw them. As a dear friend of mine, Mrs. Gore Hampton, said this morning, " Where wiU you see such natural advantages ?" And I must own, Molly, it's not flattery ; for the way they talk French and waltz, even how they come into a room, salute, or sit down, has something in it that shows them to be brought up in the top of fashion. Any other man but K. I. would o-^erflow with gratitude for all this, but you'd scarcely believe, Molly, he only ridicules it ! " If we meant her for the stage," says he — this is the way he talks of Mary Anne — " if we meant her for the stage, I think she has efirontery enough to stand before a full house, and I don't say it would discompose her ; but for the wife of some respectable man of the middle rank, I see no use in all this flouncing about here, and flourishing there, whisking through a room, upsettiilg smaU tables and crockery by way of gracefulness, and never sitting down on a chair tin she has spread out her petticoats like a peacock !" If I've said it once to him, Molly, I've said it fifty times, there's nothing I despise so much as a respectable man in the middle rank. There's no refinement about them — no elegance ! They may be what's called estimable ia their families ; but what's the use of all that for the world at large. A man can only have one wife, but be may have a thousand acquaintances. "We don't ask how amiable he is at home ; what we want is, that he should be delightful abroad. " That," says Lord George, "is true, both socially and economically; it's the grand principle that everybody staads up for, ' the greatest happi- ness of the greatest number !' " And talking of this, I'd strenuously advise your cultivating your mind on matters of political economy. It appears dry and uninte- resting at first, but as you get on it improves wonderfully, and takes a great hold of the mind. I don't think I was ever more unhappy than since I read a chapter describing what vrould become of us when THE DODD TAMILT ABEOAB. 143 the population got too thick ; and if the unthinking creatures in Ireland don't take warning, it's exactly what will happen. When my mind was full of it, I ordered up Betty Cobb, and gave her such a lecture about it she'll never forget. But you'll say it's not for this I'm gone into black ; neither is it, Molly — it's for my poor relative, the late Jones M'Carthy, of the Tolly, one of the last surviving members of the great M'Carthy stock, in the west of Ireland. Grief and sorrow for the miserable condition of his country preyed upon him, and made him seek obliteration in drink ; and more's the pity, for he was a man of enlarged under- standing and capacious mind. My heart overflows when I think of the beautiful sentiments I've heard from him at various times. He loved his country, and it was a treat to hear him praise it. " Ah !" he would say, " there's but one blot on her — ^the Judges is rogues, the Government's rogues, the Grand Jury's rogues, and the People is villains !" He died as he lived, a little in drink, but a true patriot. " Tell Jemima," says he, " I forgive her. She was a child when she mar- ried, and she never meant to disgrace us ; but as she now succeeds to the estate, I hope she'll have the pride to resume the femily name." Yes, Molly, the M'Carthy property, that once extended from Gor- ramuck to Knocksheedownie, with seventeen townlands and four baro- nies, descends now to me. To be sure, it was aU mortgaged over and over again, and 'tis little there's left but the parchments and the maps ; and, except the property in the fands, there's not a great deal coming to me. This is all that I know at present, for Waters, the attorney, writes in such a confused way, I can make nothing of it, and I don't wish to show the letter to K. I. That seems strange to you, Molly, but you'U think it stranger when I tell you that the bare notion of my succeeding to the estate drives him half crazy. He thinks that all the money being on his side makes up for his low birth, and makes a Dodd equal to a M'Carthy, and that now when I get my fortune the tables will be turned. Maybe he's right there, I won't say that he is not ; but sure it would be time enough to show this feeling when my manner was changed to him. I suppose he must have heard something from Ptu:cell about the matter, for when I came into the room, ■wiih my eyes led from cryine he said, " Is it for old Jones M'Carthy you're crying ? Begad, then, you nvust have a feeling heart, for you never saw him since you were three years old!" Did you ever hear a more barbarous speech, Molly, not to say a 144 THE DODD FAMILY ABEOiO). more ignorant one ? Twenty or thirty years might he a rery long time in a family called Dodd, hut is it more than a week or so in one , with the name of M'Carthy ? And so I told ]}im. "Ton don't pretend that you're sorry after him?" says he. And I could only answer him with my sobs. " If it was Giles Moore, the distiller," says he, " that went into mourning, one could understand the sense of it, for Jie has lost a friend indeed!" " They're to bury him in Cloughdesman Abbey," says I, not wishing to let his sarcastic remarks provoke me. " They needn't take much trouble about embalming him, any way," says he, "for there's more whisky soaked into hira than could preserve a whole family!" "Tou may think, Molly, how far I was overcome by grief when he ventured to talk this way to me ; and, indeed, I left the room in a flood of tears. When I grew more composed I went over Waters's letter again with Mary Anne, but without any great success. There is so much law in it, and so many words that we never saw before, and to which, indeed, our pocket dictionary gave us little help. Ad- minister being set down — to perform the duty of an administrator ; and for administrator, we are told to see administer — a kind of hide- ■ and-go-seek that one doesn't expect in books like this. The Lawyers and the Doctors, my dear MoUy, go on the same plan — they never let us know the hard names they have for every- thing. If we once come to do that, we'll know what's the matter vyith ourselves, and our affairs, and neither need one or the other. Mary Anne thinks that administering means going to show the vriU to somebody that's to pay the money ; but my private opinion is, that it's something about Ministers' money, for I remember my poor cousin Jones never would consent to pay it, nor indeed anything else that went to the Established Church. It was against his conscience, he used to say ; and the Grovemment that coerces a man's conscience is worthy of " Grim Tartary." My notion is, then, that they're coming against me for the arrears, as if I hadn't any conscience too ! At all events, MoUy, the property is to come to me; and the very thought of it gives me a feeling of independence and pride that is really overwhelming. K. I.'s temper was, indeed, becoming a sore trial, and how I was to go on bearing it, was more than I could imagine. He may now return to Ireland and his deai- Dodsborough whenever he pleases. Mary Anne and I are determined to live abroad. Fortunately for us we have made acquaintance with a very distinguished English Lady — a Mrs. Gore Hampton, who can intro- duce us everywhere. She is in the very height of the fashion, and THE BODD TAMILT ABEOAD. 145 knows all the great people of Europe. She took a sudden liking — I might call it an affection — for me and Mary Anne, and actually pro- posed our all travelling together as one party. There never was luck lilte it, MoUy ! She has a beautiful barouche of her own, with the arms on it, and a French Maid, and a Courier, and such heaps of luggage, you wouldn't believe it could be carried. K. I. was afraid of the expense, and gave, as you may believe, every kind of opposi- tion to the plan. He said it would "lead us into this," and "lead US into that." The great thing he dreaded being led into — as I told him — being " good society and high company." So far from costing us anything, T believe it will be a considerable saving ; for, as Lord George says, " Tou can always make a better bargain at the Hotels when you're a strong party," And he has kindly taken the whole of this on himself. He is a wonderful young man Lord George ; and, considering his tip-top rank and connexions, he's never above doing anything to serve, or be useful to us. He knows K. I. as well too as I do my- self. "Let me alone," says he, "to manage the Governor; /know him. He's always grumbling about expense, and moaning over his poverty ; but you may remark, that he does get the money some- how." ' And the observation is remarkably just, Molly ; for no mat- ter what distress or distraction he's in, he does contrive to rub through it ; and this convinces me that he is only deceiving us iu talking about his want of means, and so forth. Since I have disco- vered this, I never fret the way I used about expense. It was Lord George that arranged our compact with Mrs. G. "Tou had better leave all to me," said he to K. I., "for Mrs. Gore Hampton is a perfect child about money. She tells that old fool of a Courier to put a hundred pounds in his bag, and he pays away till it's all gone, or till he says it's gone ; and then she gives him another check for the same amount. So that she's not bored with accounts, nor ever hears of them, she never cares." " Of course, then," said I, " her expenses are very great ?" " I should say enormous," replied he ; " for though personally the simplest creature on earth, she never objects to the cost of any- thing." I hinted, that, with our moderate fortune, we should never be able to maintain a style of living equal to hers, but he stopped me short saving — " Don't let that distress you — besides, she has taken such a fancy for you and Miss Dodd that it would be a downright cruelty to deny her your companionship ; and at this moment, too, when really she requires sympathy." I was dying to ask on what L 146 THE BODD rAMILT ABROAD. account, Molly — ^was it that she is a widow ; or is she separated, and what ? but I hadn't the courage — nor, indeed, did he give me time, for he went on so fast. " Let her pay half the expense, it's only fair ; she has plenty of tin, and nothing to do with it. Even then she wiU. be a gainer, for old Gtregoire pockets as muich as he pays away." Tou'd suppose, Molly, that an arrangement so liberal as this might have satisfied K. I. 'Not a bit of it. His only remark was — " What's to be the amount of the other half?" " Do you expect to travel about the Continent for nothing, K. I.," said I ; " does your experience say that it costs so little ?" " ISTo, faith !" replied he, with that sardonic grin that almost HUs me, " I can't say that." " "Well, then," said I, " is it better for us to go about the world unnoticed and unknown, or to be visited and received, and made much of everywhere ? The name of Dodd," said I, " isn't a great recom- mendation ; and there's some of us, at least; that haven't the exte- rior of the first fashion." I wish you saw how he fidgeted when I said this. " And as the great question is, What did we come abroad for ?" " Ay, that's exactly it," cried he, thumping his clenched fist on the table with a smash that made me scream out. " What did we come abroad for ?" " There's no need to drive all the blood to my head, Mr. Dodd," said I, " to ask that. Though I am accustomed to your violence, my constitution may sink under it at last ; but if you wish to know seriously and calmly why we came abroad, I'U tell you." " Do, then," said he, folding his arms in front of him, " and I'U be mighty thankful for the information." "We came abroad," said I, "first of all, for " " It wasn't economy," says he, with a grin. " No, not exactly." " I'm glad of that," cried he. " I'm glad that we've got rid of one delusion, at least. Now, then, go on." " Maybe you'U call refinement a delusion, Mr. Dodd," said I. " Maybe politeness and good-breeding, the French language and music, are delusions ? Is high society a delusion ? Is the sphere we move in a delusion ?" " I am disposed to think it is, Mrs. D.," said he, " and a very great delusion, too. It's like nothing we were ever used to. It is not social, and it is not friendly. It has nothing to say, nor any concern with a single topic, or any one theme that we can care for. Do you know one, or can you even remember the names of any THE BODD FAMILT ABEOAD. 147 of the Princes and Princesses you are always discussing ? Do you really care whether Mademoiselle Zephyrini's pirouette was steadier than Miss Angelina's ? Does it concern you that somebody, with a hard name, has given the first class order of the Pig and Whistle to somebody else, with a harder ? Is it the meat stewed to rags you like, or the reputations with morality boiled out of them ? Is it pleasant to think that, wherever you go, you meet nothing wholesome for mind or for body ? " I can stand scandal and wickedness as well as my neighbours, but I can't spend my life upon them, nor can I give up the whole day to dominoes. Ton ask me what are delusions, and I teU you now some things that are not." But I wouldn't listen to more, Molly. I stopped him short by saying, " Tou, at least, Mr. D., have little reason for your regrets, for really in all that regards your manner, language, dress, and demea- nour, no one would ever suspect you had been a day out of Dods- borough." " I wish to my heart my bank account could teU the same story," says he ; and with that he takes down a file of bUls, and begins to read out some of what he calls his anti-delusions. "Do you know, Mrs. D.," says he, "that your milliner has got more money in the last four months than I've spent on my estate for the last eight years ? That Genoa velvet and Mechlin lace have run away with what would have drained the Low meadows ? Ay, the price of that red turban, that made you look like Bluebeard, would have put a roof on the school-house. The Priest of our parish at home didn't get as much for his dues as you gave for a seat to look at a procession in honour of Saint — Saint " " If you're going to blaspheme, Mr. D.," said I, " I'll leave you;" and so I did, Molly, banging the door after me in a way that I know weU his gouty ankle is not the better for. I mention these particulars to show you the difficulties I have to contend against, and the struggles it costs me to give my children the benefits of the Continent. I intended to teU you something about this place where we are stopping, too ; but my head is rambling now on other matters, so that, maybe, I'U not be able to say much. It's a University, just like Trinity College in Dublin, only they don't wear gowns, nor keep within certain buildings, but scatter about over the whole town. "We know several of the young men who are Princes, and more or less related to crowned heads ; but, for aU that, very simple, quiet, inpfiensive creatures as ever you met, 12 148 THE DODD FAMILY ABBOAD. Billy Davis, after he -was articled to that attorney in Abbey-street, had more impudence in Mm than them all put together. The place itself is pretty, but I think it doesn't suit my constitu- tion. Maybe it's the running water, for there's a big river under the windows, but I am never free from cold in my head, and weak eyes. To be sure, we are always doing imprudent things, such as sitting out till ' after midnight in a summer-house, where the young Germans come to sing for us — for singing and smoking, MoUy, is their two passions. It's a melsmcholy' kind of music they have, that has no tune whatever, nor anything like a tune in it ; but as Mrs. G. and my daughters agree that it's beautiful, why, of course, I give in, and say the same. But, in confidence to you, MoUy, I own that it puts me to sleep at once ; and indeed most of our other amusements here are of the same kind. "We are either Botanising, or looking for stones andshells, ' to tell us the age of- the world. Paith I you may weU stare, Molly, but it's truth I.'m saying, that is what they pre- tend to find out. They got an Elephant's jaw-bone the other day, that gave them great delight, and K. I. said, " I could tell a horse's age by ^his teeth, but for guessing how old the earth is by an Ele- phant's grinders, is clear beyond me." When it rains and we can't go out, we have Chemistry athome ; but I'm always in a fright about the combustibles, and I'm sure one of these days- we'll pay for our curiosity. That man that comes to lecture hasn't a bit of eyebrows, and ■ only two fingers on one hand, and half a thumb on the other ; not to say that he sat down one day on a pocket-fuU of crackers, and blew himself up in a dread- ful manner. If the weather be fine — and I was near saying, God grant it mayn't ! — we are to have a course of Astronomy every night next week. I can stand everything, however, better than " Moral Philosophy and Economics." As to the first of the two, it's not even common sense. It was only two evenings ago they laughed at me for twenty minutes about a remark that's as true as the Bible. " What relations does Locke say are least regarded ?" says the Professor to me. " Paith ! I know nothing about Locke," says I ; " but I know well that the relations least regarded are poor relations." As to the Economics, if they could enliven it a bit by experi- ments, as they do the Chfemistry, I could bear it well enough ; but it's awfully dry to be always listening to what you can't understand. This is the way we live at Bonn; aud though it's very, elevating. '^^i^\ J/^ THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAB. 149 I find it's very depressing to the spirits. But I don't think we'll remaiu much longer here, for K. I. is beginning to find out that the Sciences are just as dear as sUks and satins ; and, as he remarked the other day, " It would be cheaper to have a dish of asparagus on the table than them dirty weeds, that they are gathering only for the sake of their hard names." Of course, when all is settled about the legacy, I'll not be obliged to submit to his humours, as I have been up to this. I'U have a voice, Molly, and I'U take care that it is heard, too. I suppose it will come to a separation yet between us. I own to you, MoUy, the " im- possibility " of our tempers wiU do it at last. WeU, when the time comes, I'll be, as Mrs. G-. says — equal to the occasion. I can say, " I brought you rank, name, and fortune, Kenny Dodd, and I leave you with my character unvarnished ; and maybe both is more than you deserved!" When I think of where and what I might be, MoUy, and see what I am, I fret for a whole livelong day. And now, a word about home, before I conclude. Don't mention a syllable about the legacy to Mat, or he'll be expecting a present at Candlemas, and I really can spare nothing. You can say to Pather John, that Jones M'Carfchy is dead, but that nobody knows how the estate wUl go. He'U maybe say some masses for him, in the hope of being paid hereafter by the heir. I'd advise you to keep the wool back, for they say prices will rise in Ireland, by reason of aU the people leaving it, just as it's described in the Book of Genesis, Molly, only that Ireland is not Paradise — that's the difierence. Mary Anne unites in her affectionate love to you, and I am your attached Jemima Dodd. 150 THE DODD rAMILT ABBOAD. LBTTEE Xyill. MART ANNE DODD TO MISS DOOLAN, OF BALI. YDOOL AN. Grand Hotel duEhin, Bonn. Ddabest Catheeiite, IFoEHiTE me if I substitute for the loved appellation, of infancy the more softlj sounding epithet which is consecrated to verse in every language of Europe. Tes, thou mayst be Kate of aU Kates to the rest af Christendom, but to me thou art Catherine. " Catri- nella Mia," as thou 'wiltst. Here, dearest, as I sit embowered beside the wide and winding Ehine, the day-dream of my childhood is at length realised. I live, I breathe in the land glorified by genius. Eeflected in that stream is the castled crag of Draehenfels — mirrored, as in. my heart, the image of my dearest Catherine. How shall I tell you of our existence here, fascinated by the chairms of song and scenery — elevated by the strains of immortal verse ? We are living at the Grand Hotel du EHn, my sweet child ; and, having taken the entire first floor, are regarded as something like an imperial family traveUing imder the name of Dodd. 1 told you in my last of our acquaintance with Mrs. Gore Hamp- ton. It has, since then, ripened into friendship. It is now love. I feel the dangerous captivation of speaking of her, even passingly. Her name suggests all that can fascinate the heart and enthral the imagination. She is perfectly beautiful, and not less gifted than she is lovely. Perhaps I cannot convey to my dearest Catherine a more accurate conception of this charming being than by mentioning some — a few of the changes wrought by her influence in the habits of our daily life. Our mornings are scientific — entirely given up to Botany, Che- mistry, Natural History, and Geology, with occasional readings in Political Economy and Statistics. "We all attend these except Papa. Even James has become a most attentive student, and never takes his eyes off Mrs. G. during the lecture. At three we lunch, and then mount our horses for a ride ; since, thanks to Lord George's attentive politeness, seven saddle horses have been sent down from Brussels for our use. Once mounted, we are like a school released from study, so fuU of gaiety, so overflo\ving with spirits and anima- tion. THE DODD FAMILY ABKOAD. 151 Where sball we go ? is then the question. Some are for Godes- berg, where we dismount to eat ice and stroll through the gardens ; others, of whom your Mary Anne is ever one, vote lor Eolandseck, that being the very spot whence Eoland the bravo — the brave Eo- land — sat to gaze upon those convent walls that inclosed all that he adored on earth. And oh ! Catherine, dearest, is there amongst the very highest of those attributes which deify human nature, any one that can com- pare with Fidelity ? Does it not comprise nearly aU. the virtues, heroic as well as humble ? Por my part, I think it should be the great theme of Poets ; blending, as it does, some of the tenderest with some of the grandest traits of the heart. Prom Petrarch to Paul — I meant Virginia's Paul — there is a fascination in these ex- amples that no other quality ever evokes. My dearest Emily — I call Mrs. G. H. by her Christian name always — joined me the other even- ing in a discussion on this subject against Lord George, James, and several others, our only cavalier being the Sitter von Wolfen- schafer, a young German noble, who is studying here, and a remark- able specimen of his class. He is tall, and what at first seems heavy- browed, but, on nearer acquaintance, displays one of those grand heads which are rarely met with, save on the canvas of Titian ; he wears a long beard and moustache of a reddish brown, which, accom- panied by a certain solemnity of manner and a deep-toned voice, im- press you with a kind of awe at first. His family is, I believe, the oldest in Germany, having been Barons of the Black Forest in some very early century. " The first Hapsburg," he says, was a " knecht," or vassal, of one of his ancestors. His pride is, therefore, something indescribable. Lord George met him, I fancy, first at some Eoyal table, and they renewed their acquaintance here, shyly in the beginning, but after a while vrith more cordiality ; and now he is here every day sing- ing, sketching, reciting Schiller and Goethe, taUdng the most de- lightful rhapsodies, and raving about moonlights on the Brocken, and mysticism in the Hartzwald, tUl my very brain turns with dis- traction. Don't you detest the "positif " — ^the dreary, tiresome, tame, sad- coloured robe of reality ? and do you not adore the prismatic tinted drapery that envelopes, the dream creatures of imagination ? I know, dearest Catherine, that you do. I feel by myself how you shrink from the stern aspect of reality and love to shroud yourself in the graceful tissues of fancy ! How, then, would you long to be here — to discuss with us themes that have no possible relation to anything 152 THE BODD TAMILT ABBOAD. actually existing — to talk of those visionary essences which form the creatures of the unreal world ? The " Kitter" is perfectly charmiag on these subjects ; there is a vein of love through his metaphysics, and of metaphysics through his love, that elevates while it subdues. Tou will say it is a strange transition that makes me flit from these things to thoughts of home and Ireland ; but in the wilful wandering of my fancy a vision of the past rises before me, and I mu^t seize it ere it depart. I wish, iu fact, to speak to you about a passage ia your last letter, which has given me equal astonishment and suffering. What, dearest Blitty, do you mean by talking of a certain person's "long-tried and devoted affection" — "his hopes, and his steadfast reliance on my truthfulness ?" Have I ever given any one the right to make such an appeal to me ? I do really believe that no one is less exposed to such a reproach than I am ! I have the right, if I please, to misconstrue your' meaning, and assume a total ignorance as to whom you are referring. But I will not avail myself of the privilege, Kitty — I will accept your allusion. You mean Doctor Belton. Now, I own that I write this name with considerable reluctance and regret. His many valuable qualities, and the natural goodness of his disposition, have endeared h^m to all of that humble circle in which his lot is cast, and it would grieve me were I to write one single word which should pain him to hear. But I ask you, Kitty, what is there in our relative stations iu society which should embolden him to offer me attentions ? Do we move in the same sphere P^have we either thoughts, ideas, or ambitions — have we even acquaiatanees in common? I do not want to magnify the position I hold. Heaven knows that the great world is not a sea devoid of rocks and quicksands. No one feels its perils more acutely than myself. But I repeat it : Is there not a wide gulf between us ? Could he live, and move, think, act, or plan, in the circle that I asso- ciate with ? Could I exist, even for a day, in his ? No, dearest, impossible — ^utterly impossible. The great world has its require- ments — exactions, if you will; they are imperative, often tyran- nical; but their sweet recompense comes back in that delicious tranquillity of soul — that bland imperturbability that springs from good breeding ; the calm equanimity that no accident can shake — from which no sudden shock can elicit a vibration. I do not pretend, dearest -friend, that I have yet attained to this. I know well that I am still far distant from that great goal ; but I am on the road, Kitty— my progress has commenced, and not for the wealth of worlds would; I turn back from it. With thbughts like these in my heart — instincts I should perhaps THE DODD TAMILX ABEOAD. 153 call them — how unsuitecl should I be to the humble monotony of a provincial existence. Were I even to sacrifice my own happiness, should I secure his ? My heart responds, No, certainly not. As to what you remark of the past, I feel it is easily replied to. The little chapel at Bruff once struck me as a miracle of archi- tectural beauty. I reaUy fancied that the doorway was in the highest taste of florid Q-othic, and that the east window was posi- tively gorgeous in tracery. As to the Altar, I can only say that it appeared a mass of gold, silver, and embroidery, such as we read of in the " Arabian Nights." Am I to blame, Kitty, that, after having seen the real splendours of St. Gudule, and the Dome of Cologne, I can recant my former belief, and acknowledge that the little edifice at Bruff is poor, mean, and iusignificant ; its architecture a sham, and its splendour all tinsel ? and yet it is precisely what I left it.- Tou vriU then retort, that it is Jam changed ! I own it, Kitty. I am so. But can you make this a matter of reproach ? K so, is not every step ia intellectual progress — every stage of development a stigma ? Tour theory, if carried out, would soar beyond the limits of this life, and dare to assail the angelic existences of the next ! But you could not intend this ; no, Kitty, I acquit you at once of such a notion ; even the defence of your friend could not make you so unjust. Doctor Belton must, surely, be in error as to any sup- posed pledges or promises on my part. I have taxed my memory to the utmost, and cannot recal any such. If, in the volatile gaiety of a childish heart — remember, sweetest, I was only eighteen when I left home — I may have said some sUly speech, surely it is not worth remembering, stiU. less recording, to make me blush for it. Lastly, Kitty,' I have learned to know that all real happiness is based upon filial obedience; and whatever sentiments it would be possible for me to entertain for Dr. B., woidd be diametrically opposed to the wishes of my Papa and Mamma. I have now gone over this question ia every direction I could think of, because I hope that it may never more recur between us. It is a theme which I advert to with sorrow, for really I am unable to acquit of presumption one whose general character is conspicuous for a modest and retiring humility. Tou wiU acquaint him with as much of the sentiments I here express as you deem fitting. I leave every- thing to your excellent delicacy and discretion. I only beg that I may not be again asked for explanations on a matter so excessively disagreeable to discuss, and that I may be spared alluding to those peculiar circumstances which . separate us for ever. K the time should come when he will take a more reasonable and just view of 154 THE DODD FAMILT ABEOAD. our respective conditions, notting will be more agreeable to me than to renew those relations of friendship which we so long cultivated as neighbours ; and if, in any fature state I may occupy, I can be of the least service to him, I beg you to believe that it wiU. be both a pride and a pleasure to me to know it. It is needless, after this, to answer the question of yanr postscript. Of course he must not write to me. Nothing could induce me to read his letter. That he should ever have thought of such a thing is a proof — and no slight one — of his utter ignorance of aU the con- ventional rules which regulate social intercourse. But a truce to a theme so painful. I answer your brief qTiestioiL of the turn-down of your letter as curtly as it is put. No ; I am not in love with Lord Greorge, nor is he vrith me. "VVe regard each other as brother and sister ; we talk in the most unreserved confidence ; we say things which, in the narrower prejudices of England, would be infallibly condemned. In fact, Kitty, the sway of a conscientious sense of right, the inward feeling of purity, admit of many liberties here which are denied to us at home. Here, I teU you in one word, what it is that constitutes the superiority in tone of the Continent over our own country — ^I should say it was this very same freedom of thought and action. The language is fuU of a thousand graceful courtesies that mean so much or so little. The literature abounding in analysis of emotions — ^that secret anatomy of the heart, so fascinating and so instructive ; the habits of society so easy, and so natural ; and then that chi- valrous homage paid to the sex, aU contribute to extend the realms of conversational topics, and at the same time to admit of various ways of treating them, such as may suit the temper, the talent, or the caprice of each. How often does it happen from this that one heiirs the gravest themes of religion and politics debated in a spirit of the most sparkling vrit and levity, while subjects of the most trivial kind are discussed with a degree of seriousness, and a display of learning actually astounding ! This wonderful versatility is very remarkable in another respect ; for, strange enough,, it is the youug people abroad who are the gravest in manner — the most reserved and most satur- nine. The high-spirited — ^the buoyant— the most daring talkers are the elderly. In a word, Kitty, everything here is the reverse of that at home ; and, I am forced to confess, possesses a great superiority over our own notions. I am dying to tell you more of the Eitter, which, I must explain to you, is the German for " Chevalier." If you want a confession, too, I will make one, and that is, that he is desperately in love with a THE DODD rAMILT ABEOAD. 155 poor friend of yours, who feels lierself quite unworthy of the devo- tion of this scion of thirty-two quarterings. In a worldly point of view, Kitty, the possibility of such an event would be brilliant beyond conception. His estates are a principality, and his Schloss von Wolfenberg one of the wonders of the Black Forest. Does not your heart sweU and bound, dearest, at the thought of a real castle, in a real forest, with a real Baron, Kitty ? one of those cruel creatures, perhaps, who lived in feudal times, and always killed a child, to warm their feet in his heart's blood. Not that our Sitter looks this. Oh the contrary, he is gentle, low voiced, and dreamy — a little too dreamy — if I must say it, and not suffi- ciently alive to the rattling drolleries of Lord Greorge and James, who torment him unceasingly. Mamma likes him immensely, though, their intercourse is limited to mere bows and greetings ; and even Papa, whose prejudice against foreigners increases with every day, acknowledges that he is very amiable and good-tempered. Gary appears to me to be greatly taken with him, but he never notices her, nor pays her the slightest atten- tion. I'm sure I wish he would, and I should be delighted to contri- bute towards siich a conjuncture. Who knows what may happen later, for he hsls invited us all to the Schloss for the shooting season — sometime I believe in autumn — and Papa has said " Tes." I now come to another secret, dearest Kitty, depending on all your > discretion not to divulge it, at least for the present. Mamma has received a confidential note from Waters, the attorney, informing her that she is to succeed to the M'Carthy estates and property of the late Jones M'Carthy, of M'Carthy's PoUy. The amount is not yet known to us, and we are surrouiided by such difficulties, from our desire to keep the matter secret, that we cannot expect to know the particulars for some time. The estates were considerable; but, like those of aU the Irish aristocracy, greatly encumbered. The personal property, Mamma thinks, could not have been burdened, so that this alone may turn out handsomely. By some deed of settlement, or something of the kind, executed at Papa's marriage with Mamma, he voluntarily abandoned aU right over any property that should descend to her, so that she will pos- sess the unlimited control over this bequest. Mr. Waters mentions that the testator desired — I am not certain that he did not require as a condition — that we should take the name of M'Carthy. I hope so with all my heart. I do not believe that anything could ofier such obstacles to us abroad as this terrible and emphatic monosyl- lable ; now, Dodd M'Carthy has a rhythm in it and a resonance also. 156 THE DOJDD FAMILY ABEOAD. It sounds territorially, too ; like the de of rrencti nobility. "We should figure ia fashionable "Arrivals and Departures" with a cer- tain air of distinction, that is denied to us at present ; and I really do not see why we should not be — " The M'Carthy." Tou know, dearest, that the Herald's office never interferes about Celtic nobiHty, inasmuch as its origin utterly defies investigation ; and there are, consequently, no pains nor penalties attached to the as- sumption of a native title. How I should be delighted to hear us announced as "The M'Carthy, family and suite," with an explana- tory paragraph about Papa being the Blue or the Black Knight. The English are always impressed with these things, and Foreigners regard them with immense devotion. There is another incalculable advantage, Kitty, not to be overlooked. All little eccentricities of manner, little peculiarities of accent, ^oice, and intonation, of which neither Pa nor Ma are totally exempt, instead of being criti- cised, as some short-sighted folk might criticise them, as vulgar, low, and commonplace, they rise at once to the dignity of a national trait. They are like Breton Erench, or certain Provencal expressions in use amongst the ancient " Seigneurie " of the land. They actu- ally dignify station, instead of disgracing it, so that a " Brogue " seems to seal the very patent of your nobility, and the mutilations of your parts of speech stand for quarterings on your escutcheon. It might seem invidious were I to quote the instances which support my theory ; but I assure you, seriously, that social success, to be rapid, requires aids liJte these. There was a time when being a Villiers, a Stanley, or a Seymour, gave you a kind of illusory nobUity. Tou were a species of human shot-silk, that turned blue in one light, and brown in another ; but now that Burke is read in the National Schools, and the " Almanach de Gotha" in the Godless Colleges, de- ception on this head is impossible. They take you " to book" at once. Tou can't be one of the Howards of Ettinham, for Lady Mary died childless — nor one of the "Worseley branch, for the present Marquis, who married Lady Alice de Courtenaye, had only two chil- dren, one, British Envoy at the Court of Prince of Salms und Schwei- nigen, the other, &c. In fact, Kitty, you are voted nobody. They wiU not allow you- father nor mother, uncle nor aunt, nor even any good friends. Better be Popkins, or Perkins, Snooks, or even Smith, than this! The Celtic "noblesse," however, is a safe refuge against all impertinent curiosity. Tracing the Dodd M'Carthy to his parent stem would be like keeping count of the sheep in Sancho's story. Besides, matters of succession are made matters of faith in the THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAB. 157 Church, and why shouldn't they be in the M'Carthy family ? I don't suppose we want to he more infallible than the Pope ? I have not forgotten what you mentioned about your brother Eobert ; nor was it at aU necessary, my dear Kitty, for you to speak of his talents and acquirements, which I well know are first-rate. I took an opportunity the other day of alluding to the matter to Lord George, who has influence in every quarter. I told him pretty much in the words of your letter, that he was equally distinguished in science as in classics, had taken honours in both, and was in aU other respects fully qualified to be a Tutor. That being a gentleman by birth, though of small fortune, his desire was to obtain the advan- tages of foreign travel, and the opportunity of acquiring modem languages, for which he was quite willing to assume all the labour and fatigue of a teacher. He stopped me short here by saying, " I'm a&aid it's no go. They've made a farce, and a deviUsh good one, too, of the ' Irish Tutor ;' and I half suspect that Dr. O'Toole, as he is called, has spoiled the trade." I tried to intercept a word about Eobert's attainments, but he broke in with, " That's all very well ; I'm quite sure of everything you say. But who takes a ' Coach ?' " — That's the slang for a Tutor, Kitty! — "No one takes a ' Coach' for his learning, now-a-days. "What's wanted — particularly when travelling — is a sharp, wide-awake fellow, that knows all the dodges of the Continent — as well as a Courier — can bully the Police, quiz the Custom-house, and slang the waiters. He ought to be up to the Opera and the Ballet ; be a dead hand at Ecarte, and a capital judge of cigars. " After these, his great requisites are never-ceasbg good-humour, and a general flow of high spirits, to stand all the bad jokes and vapid fun of young College men — a yielding disposition to go any- where, with any one, and for anything that may be proposed ; and, finally, a ready tact never to suppose himself included in any invita- tion with his ' Bear,' who, however well he may treat him,, will always prefer leaving him at home when he dines at an ' Embassy.' " This is the rapid sketch of a Tutor's life and habits, as practised abroad, Kitty ; and I more than suspect Eobert would not like it. Should I be in error, however, and that such would suit his views, I'm sure I can reckon on Lord George's kindness to find him an appointment. Meanwhile, let him "accustom himself to much smoking, and occasional brandy-and-water, lay. in a good stock of droU anecdotes ; and if he can acquire any conjuring knowledge, or tricks on the cards, it will aid him greatly." These hints are Lord G.'s, and, I'm sure, invaluable. 158 THE DODD PAMILT ABEOAB. A tliimderstorm has just broke over the valley of the Rhine, and the dread artillery of Heaven comes pealing down from the " Lurlie," like a chorus of Demons in a modern Opera. Our excursion being impossible, I once more resume my task, and again seat myself to hold communion with my dearest Kitty. I find, besides, innumerable questions still unanswered in your last dear letter. Tou ask me if, on the whole, I am happier than I was at Dodsborough ? How could yon ever have penned such a quere ? The tone of seriousness which you tell me of, in my let- ters, admits, perhaps, of a softer epithet. May it not be that soul- kiadled elevation which comes of daily association with high iutelli- gences ? If I were but to teU. you the names of the illustrious writers and great thinkers whom we meet here almost every evening, Kitty, you would no longer be amazed at the soarLug flight my facul- ties have taken ! IN'ot that they appear to us, my dearest friend, in the mystic robes of science, but in the humble garb of common life, playing "groschen" whist, or a game of tric-trac. Just fancy, if you can. Professor Faraday playing "petits jeux," or "Wollaston engaged at " hunt the sEpper." These are the intimacies, this the kind of intercourse, which im- perceptibly cultivates the mind, and enlarges the understanding ; for, as Mrs. Grore Hampton beautifiilly observes, " The charm of high- bred manner is not to be acquired by attendance on a, ' Levee ' or a ' Drawing-room,' it is imbibed in the atmosphere that pervades a Court, in the daily, hourly association with that harmonious elegance that surrounds a Sovereign." So, dearest Kitty, from intercourse with great minds, is there a perpetual gain to our stock of know- ledge. " They are," as Mrs. G. says, " the charged machines from which the electric sparks of Genius are eternally disengaging them- selves." What a privilege to be the receivers ! There is a wondrous charm, too, in their sirapUeity, as well as in that habit they have of mystically connectiag tlie most trivial topics with the most astoundiag speculations. A Pairy tale becomes to them a metaphysical allegory. Tou would scarcely credit what curious doctrines of Socialism lie veiled luider " Jack the Giant-Killer," or that the Marquis of Carabas, in the tale of " Puss in Boots," is meant to illustrate the oppression of the Landed Aristocracy. Nor is this all, Kitty ; but they go further, and they are always specula- ting on something beyond the actual catastrophe of a story ; as the other evening I heard a learned argument to show, that had Blue- beard not been killed, he would have inevitably formed an alliance with " Sister Anne," just for the sake of supporting the cause of THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAB. 159 "marriage with a deceased wife's sister," I only mention these as passing instances of that rich imaginative fertility, which is as much their characteristic as is their wonderful power of argumentation. Lord George and James worry me greatly for my admiration of Germany and the G-ermans. They talk, in slang, on themes that re- quire a high strain of iatelligence to comprehend or even appreciate. No wonder, then, if their frivolity offend and annoy me ! Th« Eitter von "Wolfenschafer is an unspeakable relief to me, after this tiresome quizzing. Shall I own that Oary is their ally in the same ignoble warfare ? Indeed, nothing surprises, and, at the same time, depresses me more than to remark the little benefit derived by Caroline from foreign travel. She would seem to sit down perfectly contented with the iaformation derived from books, as though the really sub- stantia] advantages of a residence abroad were not all dependent on direct intercourse with the people. " Why not read Uhland and Tieck at home at Dodsborough ?" say I to her. " To what end do you come hundreds of miles away from your country, to do what might so easily have been accomplished at home ?" What do you think was her reply ? It was this : " That is exactly what I should like to do. Having seen some parts of the Continent, having enjoyed the spec- tacle of those wonderful things of nature and of art which a town abroad would display, and having acquired that facility in languages which comes so rapidly by their daily use, I should like to go home again, adding to the pleasures my own country supplies, stores of knowledge and resources from other lands. I neither want to think that rrenchmen and Germans are better bred than my own country- men, nor that the rigid decorum of English manners is only a flimsy veil of hypocrisy thrown over the coarse vices of a coarse people." Now, my dear Kitty, be as national and patriotic as one will ; play " Eule Britannia" every morning, with variations, on the piano ; wear a Paisley shawl and a Dunstable bonnet ; make yourself as hideous and absurd as the habits of your native country wiU. admit of — and that is a wide latitude — you wiU be obliged to own to the startling fact, the Continent is more civilised than England. Daily life is surrounded with more of elegance and of refinement, for the simple reason that there is more leisure for both. There is none of that vulgarity of incessant occupation so observable with us. Men do not live here to be Poor-law Guardians and Quarter Sessions Chairmen, Directors of Eailroads, or Members of Select Committees. They choose the nobler ambition of mental cultivation and inteUeetual polish. They study the arts which adorn social intercourse, and 160 THE BODD FAMIIiT ABEOAB. acquire those graceful accomplishments which fascinate in the great world, and, in the phrase of the newspapers, " make home happy." I have now come to the end of my paper, and perhaps of your patience, but not of my arguments on this theme, nor the wish to impress them upon my dearest Kitty. Adieu ! Adieu ! I can understand your astonishment at reading this, Kitty ; but is it not another proof that Ireland is far behind the rest of the world in civilisation ? The systems exploded everywhere are stUl pursued there, and the unprofitable learning that aU other countries have abandoned, is precisely the object of hardest study and ambition. There are twenty other things that I wished to consult my dearest Kitty about, but I must conclude. It is now nigh eleven o'clock, the moon is rising, and we are off on our excursion to the Drachenfels — for you must know that one of the stereotyped amusements of the Continent is to ascend mountains for the sake of seeing daybreak from the " summit." It is frequently a failure as regards the pictu- resque ; but never so with respect to the pleasure of the trip. Think of a mountain path by moonlight, Kitty ; your mule slowly toiling up the steep ascent, while some one near murmurs " Childe Harold" in your ear, the perils of the way permitting a hundred little devo- tional attentions so suggestive of dependence and protection. I must break off — ^they are calling for me ; and I have but time to write myself my dearest Kitty's dearest friend, MaET AlOTE DODD. THE DODD FAMILY ABROAD. 161 LETTEE XIX. BETTY COBB TO MES. SHnSAN o'SHEA, PRIEST's HOtTSE, BBUrr. Dkab Misses Shusan, I THOUGHT before this I'd be back again in Bruff, but I leave it aU to Providence, that maybe, aU the time, is thinkin' little about me. It's not out of any unpiety I say this, but bekase the longer I live the more I see how Sarvants are trated in this vrorld ; and the next I'm towld is much the same. If the Mistress would let me alone I'd get used to the ways of the place at last, for there's some things isn't so bad at all ; since we came to this we have four males every day, but, if you mind grace, you might as well have none. They've a puddin' for everything, fish — flesh — fowl — vegebles, it's all alike ; but the hardest thing is to eat blackberries with beef, or stewed pork with rasberries ; not to spake of a pike with pineapple, that we had yesterday. There is always an abundance and a confusion at dinner that's pleazing to one's feeUn's ; for, indeed, in Ireland there is no great variety in the Sarvants' Hall, and polatics has a sameness in them that's very tiresome. We are livin' now at an elegant hotel, where we sit down forty- seven of us every day, at the sound of a big bell at one o'clock. They call it the table doat, and I don't wonder they do, for it's the pleasantest place I ever see. We goes down, linked arm-and-arm, me and Lord George's man, Mister Slipper, and the Prinsh made lanin' on Mounseer Gregory, the Currier ; and there's as much bowin' and scrapin', or more, than up-stairs in the parlour. Mister Slipper takes the head of the table, and I am on his rite, and Mamsel on his left, and the dishes all cums to us first, and we tumble the things about, and helps ourselves to the best before the others, and we laff so loud, Shuaan, for Mr. Slipper is uncommon drol, and tells a num- ber of stories that makes me cry for laffin' ; and he is just as polite, too, for whinever he tells anything wrong he says it in French. And if you only heerd the way Masters and Mistresses is spoke of, Shusan, you'd pity poor Sarvants that has to live with them, and put up with their bad 'umors. Mr. Slipper himself is trated like a dog, on eighty pounds a year, and what he calls the spoils — that's the close that spoiled. Many's the day he never sees the newspaper, for Lord G. sticks it in his pocket, and carries it out with him ; and when he 162 THE BODD TAMILT ABEOAD. went out to tay, the other evenin', there wasn't an amhroidered shirt of his Master's to put on, and he was obleeged to take a plain cam- hric to make a clane breast of it! "Pais," says he, " there's no sayin' what will happen soon, and maybe the day'll cum I'U have to buy my own cigars." He had an Uigant place before this one — Sir Michael Bexley — but tho' the wagis was high, and the eatin' first- rate, he couldn't stay. "We wor in Vi-enna," says he, "where they dance a grate dale in sosiety, and Sir Michael's hands and feet was smaller than mine, and I couldn't wear either his kid gloves or his dress boots, and goin' out every night the expense was krushia'." Mamsel is trated just as bad. It's maybe three when she gets to bed; her mistress, Mrs. G., wouldn't take a flour out of her head herself, but must have the poor crayture waitin' there, like a centry. And maybe it's at that time o'night she'll take the notion of seeiu' how it bekomes her to have her hare, this way or that, or to see if she'd look better with more paint on her, or if Tier eyebrows was blacker. Sometimes, too, she takes a fit of trjrin' ball dresses, five or six, one after another ; but Mamsel says, she thinks she cured her of that by dropping some lamp oil over a bran new white satin, with Brus- sels lace, that was never worn at all. As Mr.SHpper says, " Our in- genuity is taxed to a degree that destroys our dispositions ;" and I may here observe, Shusan, that aU Sarvants ever I heerd of get some- how worse trated than Irish. I don't mane in regard to wagis, be- kase the Irish cartainly gets laste, but I spake of tratement ; and the rayson is this, Shusy, the others do their work as a kind of duty, a thing they're paid for, and that they ought to do; we, the Irish I mane, do everything as if it was out of our own goodness, and that we wouldn't do it if we didn't Kke ; and that's the real way to manage a Master or a Mistress. If he asks for a kmfe at diner, sure he can't deny it's a knife bekase it's dirty, there wouldn't be common sense in that. There's two ways of doin' everything, Shusan ; but, easy as it is, the Irish is the only people profits by the lesson ! If a only ourselves, Shusan dear, knows how to make a Master or Mis- tress downright miserable ! It is true we seldom have good wagis, but we take it out in tem- per. If ye seen the life I sometimes lead the Mistress you'd pity her ; but why would you after all ? wasn't I taken away from my home and country and put down here in a strange place ; and if I didn't spend the day now and then cryin', would she ever think of razing my sperits with a new bonnet, or a pare of shoes, or a ticket for the play ? Take them azy, Shusy, and they'll take you the same. THE DODD FAMHiT ABEOAB. 163 But if you show them they're in your power, taike to youi bed, flick, when they're in a hot hurry, and want you :(aost ; be sulky and out of sperits when they're all full of fun ; and go singin' about the house the day they've got a distressin' letter by the post ; keep to that, and my shure and sartain beleef is, tha.t you'll break down the sperit of the wickidest Master and Mistress that ever breathed. Isn't my Mistress, I ask you, as hard to dale with as any ? "Well, many's the time, when I'm listenin' at the doore, I heerd her say, " Betty can't bear me in that shawl — Betty put it somewhere, and I'm afraid to ask for it — Betty's in one of her tantrums to-day, so I must not cross her. I wish I knew how to put Betty Cobb ia good humour." " Paix, Ma'am," says I to myself, " I beUeve you well, and it would puzzle wiser heads nor you !" And now. Misses Shusan, dear, is it any wonder that our tempers get spoiled? seein' the lives we lade, and the dreadful turns and twists we are obleeged to give our natral dispositions. It's for all the world like play actin'. There's many things different betune this and home, and first and foremost Beligion, Shusan. Eeligion isn't the same at all. To begin, there's no fastin' at all, or next to none ; maybe that's bekase, by the nature of the cookery, nobody could teU. what it was he was eatin'. Then, there's little penance — and the little there is ye can get off of it by a thrifle. Xe go to confessin' whin ye like, and ye keep anythiag back for another time that ye don't wish to teU. just then. In fact, my dear, it comes to this — it's harder to go to Heaven ia Ireland than any place ever I heerd of, and costs more money into the bargaia ! The Priests hasn't half the power they have in Ireland, they're not as well paid, and they can't curse a congregation, nor do any other good action that isn't set down ia their duty. It's the PoHs Shusy, that makes ye tremble abroad, and that's the great difference between the two countries. As to MorHs, my dear, I'm afraid we're not supariar, for it's the women always makes love to the men, which, till you get used to it has a mighty ugly appearance. I b'l'eve it's the smokin' leads to this, for a German wouldn't take his pipe out of his mouth for anything • so that courtiu' isn't what it is at home. These is my general remarks on the habits of furriaers, which I give you as free as you ask for them. As to the family, nobody knows where the money comes from, but that they're spendia' it in Lashins, is true as I'm here. And they're broke up, Shusy, and not the way they used to be'. The Master walks out alone, or with Miss m2 164 THE DODD TAMILT ABEOAD. Caraline. Miss Mary Anne stays with the Mother ; and Master James, that's now a grpne man, and as bowld as brass besides, is always phelanderin' about with Mrs. G., the lady that lives with us. I mistrust her, Shusan dear, and Mamsel Virginy, her made, too, though she's mighty kind and polite to me, and says she has so many " bounties" for the whole family. Paddy Byrne is exactly what you suspect. There's nothin' would put the least polish on him. The very way he ates at the table doat disgraces us ; whenever he gets a thing he likes, instead of helpia' himself and passin' it on, he takes the whole dish before him, and conshumeB it all. As he is always ready to fite, they let him do as he likes, and he is become now the terror of the place. I have towld ye now about everybody but the ould Currier, Mounseer Gregory, an invetherate ould Frinsh bla'guard, that never has a dacent word in his mouth, though he hasn't a good tooth in it ; and ye'd say 'twas at his prayers the oidd hardened sinner should be. The very laff he has, and the way his bleery eyes twinkle, is a shame to see ! It's nigh to fifty years siuce he took to the road, so that you may think, Shusan dear, what a dale of innequity he's seen in that time. It's dreadftd sometimes to listen to him. If I wasn't ashamed to write them, I'd tell you two or three of his stories, but I wiU. when we meet, and now with my hearty blessin' and love, I remane yours to command, Bettt Cobb. What's this I heer about one of the M'Carfchy's dyin', and leavin' his money to the Mistress. G-et the news right for me, Shusan dear, for I mane to ask for more wagis if it's true, and if Mrs. D. wont decrease- them, I'U lave the sarvis. Mamsel Virginy towld me last nite there was a Duches here that wants a confidenshal made to tache her only daughter English, and that's exactly the thing to shoot me ; five hundred Franks a year is equal to twenty pounds, all eairin' and washiu', not to mention the hoith of respect from all the men-ials in the house. I'm takin' Prinsh lessons from ould Gregory every evenin', and he says I'll be in my " accidents," next week. THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAD. 165 LETTEE XX. JAMBS DODD TO ROBERT DOOLAN, ESQ., TRINITY COLLEGE, DUBLIN. Tou guessed rightly, my dear Bob ; my letter to Vickars 'has turned out confoundedly iU, though, I must say, all ffom his total want of gentlemanlike feeling. To my ineffable horror the other morning, the post arrived with a large packet for the Grovemor, con- taining my " strictly private and confidential" epistle, which this infernal son of a pen wiper sends cooUy back to be read by my father. Matters were not going on exactly quite smooth before. "We had had a rather stormy sitting of the Cabiaet the evening previous on the estimates, which struck the President of the Council as out of aU. bounds; and yet, aU things considered, were reasonable enough. Tou know, Bob, we are a strongish party. Mrs. Gr. H., with maid and Courier ; Lord George and man ; the Dodd family five, with two native domestics, and two foreign supernumeraries ; occupying the first floor of the first Hotel at Bonn, with a capital table, and a con- siderable quantity of wine, of one kind or other ; these — without anything that one can call extravagance — swell up a bUl, and at the end of a month give it an actually formidable look. " What are these ?" said the Governor, peering through his glasses at a long battalion of figures at the foot of the score — " what are these ? Groschen, eh ?" " Pardon, Monsieur le Comte," said the other, bowing, " dey are Prussian thalers !" I wish you saw his face when he heard it ! George and I were obliged to bolt out . of the room, or we should have infallibly ex- ploded. "Tou'd better go back," said George to me, after we had our laugh out ; " I'll take a stroll with the womenkiud till you smooth him down a bit." A pleasant office this for me ; but there was no help for it, so, in I went. The first shock of his surprise was not over as I entered, for he stood holding the bill iu one hand, while he pressed the other on his forehead, with a most distracted expression of face. 166 THE DODD I'AMILT ABEOAD. " Do you suspect," said he — " have you any notion of what rate we are living at, James ?" " Not the slightest," replied I. " Do you think it's of any consequence ?" asked he again, in a harsher tone. " Why, of course. Sir, it — is — of some con " " I mean," broke he in, " does it signify whether I go to gaol, and the rest of you to thd workhouse — if there he a workhouse in this rascally land ?" Seeing that he had totally forgotten the landlord's presence, I now motioned to that ftMactienary to teave the loom. The noise of the door shutting roused, up the Grovejpnor • agaia. He looked wildly about him for an instant, and then snatching up the poker he aimed a blow at a large mirror over the chimney. He struck it with such violence that it was smashed in a dozen pieces, four or five of which came clattering down upon the floor. "I'H be a maniac," cried he. " They shall never say that I ran iato this, extravagance in my sober senSeB-^I'U finish my days ia a madhouse first." And with these words-he made a rush over to a marble table, where a large porcelain vase was standing: ; 1^ a timely spring I overtook him, and pressed him down on an ottoman, where, I assure you, it required all my force to hold him. After a few minutes, however,- there came a reaction ; he dropped the poker frmn his grasp, and said, in a low, faint .voice, " There — ^there — ^I'U do no- thing now — you may releas&me." There's not a doubt of it, Bob, but he really was insane for a few moments, though, fortunately, it passed away as rapidly as it came. " That," said he, with a motion towards the looking-glass — •" that will cost twenty or twenty-five pounds, eh ?" " Not so much, perhaps," said I, though I knew I was consider- ably below the mark. " Well, I'm sure it saved me from a fit of illness, amyhowj" rejoined he, sighing. " If I hadn't smashed it, I think my head would have burst. Gro over that, James, and see what it is in pounds." I sat down to a table, and after some calculation made out the total to be two hundred and seven pounds sterling. " And with the looking-glass, about two hundred and thirty," said he, with a sigh. " That's about — taking everything into considera- tion — five thousand a year." "You must remember," said I, trying to comfort him, " that these e/2f^ 4" ay^^ca>7?i1Z^^'■. THE DODD EAMILY A3E0AD. 167 are not our expenses solely. There's Tiverton and his servant, and Mrs. Grore Hampton and her people also." "So there is," added he, quicldy ; "bnt they had nothing- to do ■miihthat;" and he pointed to the confounded looking-glass, which somehow or other had taken a fast hold of his imagination. " Eh, James, that was a luxury we had for ourselves \" There was a bitter, sardonic laugh that accompanied these words-, indescribably pain&l to hear. " Come now,' ' said he, in a more composed and natural voice, " let us see what's to be done. This is a joint account, James ; why not have sent it to Lord George — aye, to the widow also. They may as well fraak the Dodd family, as we pay for tJiem — of course omitting the looking-glass." I hinted that this was a step requiring some delicacy in its manage- ment ; that if not conducted with great tact, it might be the occasion of deep offence. In a word, Bob, I surmised, and conjectured, and hinted a hundred things, just to gain a little time, and turn him, if possible, into another channel. " Well, what do you advise p" said he, as if wishing to fix me to some tangible project. Por a moment I was bent on adopting the grand Parliamentary tactic of stating that there were " three courses open to the House," and then going on to show, that one of these was absurd, the second impracticable, and the last utterly impossible ; but I saw that the Grovemor could not be so easily put down as the Opposition, and so I said, " Give it till to-morrow morning, and I'U see what can be done." Here I felt I ^ras on safe ground, for throughout life I have ever remarked, that whenever an Irishman is in difiSculties, a reprieve is as good as a free pardon to him — ^for so is it, the land which seems so thoroughly hopeless in its destinies, contains the most hopeful popu- lation of Europe ! The delay of a few hours made all the difference in the Governor's spirits, and he rallied and came down to supper just as usual, only whispering as we left the room, with a peculiar low chuckle in his voice, " I wouldn't wonder if the fire there cracked that chimney- glass." " Nothing more likely," added I, gravely; and down we went. It might possibly be out of utter recilessness, or perhaps from some want of a stimulant to cheer him, but he insisted on having two extra bottles of Champagne, and he toasted Mrs. Gore Hampton with a zest and fervour that certainly my Mother didn't approve of. On 168 THE DODD rAMIlT ABEOAD. the whole, however, all passed off well, and we wished each other good night, with the pleasantest anticipations for the morrow. All was well ; and we were at breakfast the next morning, merrily discussing the plans for the day, when the post arrived, with that ominous-looking packet I have already mentioned. " Shall I guess what that contains ?" cried Lord George, pointing to the words, " On her Majesty's service," printed in the corner. " They've made you Lord Lieutenant of your county, Dodd! Tou shake your head. Well, it's something in the Colonies they've given you." " Perhaps it's the Civil Cross of the Bath," said Mrs. Gore Hampton. " They told me, before I left town, they were going to select some Irishman for that distinction." "I'd rather it was a Baronetcy," interposed my Mother. "Tou are all forgetting," broke in my I'ather, "that it's the Tories are in power, and they'll give me nothing. I was always a Moderate Politician, and, for the last ten or fifteen years, there was nothing so unprofitable. Violence on either side met its reward, but the quiet men, like myself, were never remembered." " Then hang me if I should have been quiet !" cried Lord George. ""Well, you see," said my Father, breaking his egg slowly with the back of his spoon, " it suited me ! I've seen a great deal of Ire- land ; I'm old enough to remember the time when the Beresfords governed the country — if you can call that government, that was done with pitched-caps and cat-o'-nine-tails — and I remember Lord Whitworth's Administration, and Lord WeUesley's, and latterly Lord Normanby's. But, take my word for it, they were wrong, every one of them,' and the reason was this : The English had a notion in their heads that Ireland must always be ruled through the intervention of some Leadership or other. One time it was the Protestants, then it was the Landlords, then came Dan O'ConneU, and lastly it was the Priests. Now, every one of these failed, because they couldn't per- form a tithe of what they promised ; but still they all had that partial kind of success that saved the Administration a deal of trouble, and imposed upon the English the notion that they were at last learning how to govern Ireland. Meanwhile, I'U tell you what was happening. The Government totally forgot there was such a thing as a people iu Ireland, and, what's worse, the People forgot it themselves ; and the consequence was, they sank down to the level of a mean party follow- ing — a miserable shabby herd — to shout after an Orange or a Green Demagogue, as the case might be. It was a faction, and not a nation; and England saw that, but she had not the honesty to own it was THE BODD TAMILT ABEOAD. 169 her own doing made ib such. It was seeiiig all this made me a Moderate Politician, or, in other words, one who reposed a very moderate confidence in either of the parties that pretended to rule Ireland." " But you supported your friend Vickars, notwithstanding," said Lord George, slily. " Very true, so I did ; but I never put forward any mock patriot- ism as the reason. What I said was, ' Te're aU rogues and vaga- bonds alike, and I know you'll do nothing for Ireland, at least do something for the Dodd fatnil}'' ;' and now let us see if he has, for I perceive that this address is in his handwriting." I own to you. Bob, I quaked somewhat as I saw him smash the seal. My mind misgave me in fifty ways. " Yickars," thought I, " has given me some infernal storekeepership in the Gambia, or made me Inspector of yeUow fever in Chusan." I surmised a dozen different promotions, every one of which was several posts on the road to the next world. Nor were my anticipations much brightened by watch- ing the workings of the Governor's face as he perused the epistle, for it grew darker and darker, the angles of the mouth were drawn down, tUl that expressive feature put on the semblance of a Saxon arch, while his eyes glistened with an expression of fiend-like malice. "Well, K. I.," said my Mother, in whom the Job-Hke element was not of a high development — " well, K. I., what does he say ? Is it the old story about his list being full, or has he done it at last ?" " Tes, Ma'am," said my Father, as though echoing her words. " He has done it at last !" " And what is it to be, Papa ? Is it something that a gentleman can suitably accept ?" cried Mary Anne. " Done it at last, you may weU say !" muttered my father, half aloud. " Better late than never," cried Lord George, gaUy. " "Well, I don't know that, my Lord," said my Father, turning upon him with an abruptness little short of ofiensive ; " I am not so sure that I quite coincide with you. If a young fellow enters life totally uneducated and unprovided for, his only certain heritage being the mortgages on his father's property, and perhaps," he added with a sneer — " and perhaps some of his mother's virtues, I say I am not exactly convinced that he has improved his chances of worldly suc- cess by such a production as that!" And with these words, every one of which he delivered with a ter- rible distinctness, he handed a letter across the table to Lord George, who slowly perused it in silence. "As for ffou, Sir," continued my Father, turning towards me, "I 170 IHE BODD FAMILX ABEOAD. grieve to inform you that no vacancy at present offers itself in the Guards, nor in the Household, where your natural advantages could be remarked and appreciated. It will be, however, a satisfaction to you to know that your high, claims are already understood, and well thought of in the proper quarter. There's Mr. Viekars'a letter;" and he presented me with the note, which ran thus : "Dear Mb. Doddj " By the enclosed letter, bearing your son's signature, I have dis- covered how totally below his just expectjftions would be any of those official appoiutments which are within the limits of my humble patronage to bestow. " I have, consequenMy, cancelled the mirniie of his' nomination to a place in the Treaisury, which was yesterday conferred upon him, and having myself no influence in either of those departments to which his wishes incline, I have but to express the regret I feel at my inability to serve him, and the grea* respect with which I beg to remain, " Toxir very faithful servant, " HADDIirGTOlT ViCKASS. "Board of Trade, London; « To Mr. James E. Dodd, Bonn." I am able to give you the precious document word for word, for, if I went over it once, I did so twenty times. " Perhaps you might like to refresh your memory by a glance at the enclosure," said my fether. " My Lord George wiU kindly hand it to you." " It is a devilish good letter though, I must say," broke in George ; who, to do him justice, Bob, never deserts a friend in difficidties. " It's all very fine of this fellow to talk of his inability to do this, that, and t'other. Sure, we aU know how they chop and barter theu^ patronage with one another. One says, you inay have that thing at Bernambucco, and then another says, ' very well,' there's an ensigncy in the Fifty-ninth. And that's only gammon about the appointment mfade out yesterday ; he wants to ride off on that ; a sharp ffeUow your ffieiui Vickars. He'd look a bit surprised, however,, if you were to say that this letter of ' Jem's ' was a forgery, and that you most gratefully accept the nomination he alludes to, and which, of course, is not yet filled up." " Eh, what! how do you mean ?" cried my father, eagerly, for he caught at the very shadow of a chance with desperate avidity. " I was only in jest," said Lord George, who merely wanted, as THE DOBD I'AMILT ABEOAI. i 171 lie afterwards said, "to hustle the G-overnor througli the deep ground" of his anger. "I was in jest about them, for "^ Jem's' letter is so good, so exceedingly well put, that it would; be downright foUy to disavow it. Tou have no idea," contiaued he, gravely, "what excellent policy it is always to ask for a high thing. They respect you for it, even when they give you nothing ; and then, when you do at last receive some appoiatment, it is so certain to be be- neath what you solicited, it establishes a claim for your perpetual discontent. Tou go on eternally boring about neglect, and so on. Tou accepted the humble post of Envoy at Stuttgard, for instance, under an implied pledge about Vienna or Constantinople. Besides these advantages, it is also to be remembered that, every now and then, they actually do take a fellow at his own valuation, and give him what he asks for." " Lord George is quite right," chimed in Mrs. Gore Hampton ; "^ half of these things are purely accidental. I remember so well my Bncle writing to beg- that the tutor of his boys might get some smaU. thing in the Church, just at the moment when the Bishop of the diocese had died, and the Minister, reading the letter earelessly — my uncle's hand is very hard to decipher — mistook the object of the request, and appointed him to the Bisboprick." "In that case," remarked my father, drily, " I think Mrs. D. had better indite an epistle to the Home-office." And, although this was said in a sneer, the laughter that followed went far to restore us all to good-humour, particularly as Lord George took the opportunity of explaining to Mrs. Gore Hampton what had occurred, bespeaking her aid and influence in our behalf. " It is so absurd," said she, "that one should have any difficulty about these things, but such is the case. The Duchess will be certain to make excuses ; she cannot ask for something, because she is ' in waiting,' or she is not in waiting. Lord Harrowcliff is sure to tell me that he has just been refused a request, and cannot subject him- self to another humiliation ; but I always reply, these are most selfish arguments, and that I really must have what I want ; that a refusal always attacks my nerves, and that I wiU not be iU merely to indulge a caprice of theirs. What is it Mr. James wants ?" There was something so practical in this short question, Bob, something so decisive, that had she been talking the rankest ab'- surdity but the moment before, we should have forgotten it all in an instant. " A mere nothing," replied Lord George. " Tou'll smUe when you hear what we're making such a fuss about." As he said these 172 THE DODD TAMILT ABBOAD. words, lie muttered in the Governor's ear, " It's all right now ; she detests asking a favour, but, if she mil stoop to it " an expressive gesture implied that success was certain. " Well, you haven't told me what it is," said she again. Lord George passed round to the back of her chair, and whispered a few words. She replied in the same low tone, and then they both laughed. "Tou don't mean to say," cried she, turning to my father, "that you have experienced any difficulty about this trifle ?" The Governor blundered out some bashful confession, that he had encountered the most extraordioary obstacles to his wishes. " I really think," said she, sighing, "they do these things just to provoke people. They wanted Augustus t'other day to go out to the Cape, and I assure you it was as much as Lady Mary could do to have the appointment changed. They said his ' regiment' was there. ' Tant pis for his regiment !' replied she. ' It must be a most dis- gusting station.' And that is, I must say, the worst of the Horse Guards ; they are always so imperative — so downright cruel. Don't you agree with me, Mrs. Dodd ?" " They couldn't be worse than the regiment I've heard my father speak of," replied my mother. " They were called the ' North Britains,' and were the wickedest set of wretches in the rebellion of— 98." This unhappy blunder set my father into a roar of laughter, for latterly it is only on occasions like this that he is.moved to any show of merriment. Mrs. Gore Hampton, of course, never noticed the mistake, but saying, " Now for my letters," ordered her writing- desk to be brought ; a sign of promptitude that at once diverted all our thoughts into another channel. " Shall I write to the Duke or to Lady Mary first ?" said she, pon- dering ; and her eyes accidentally falling upon my mother, she thought herself the person addressed, and replied, " Indeed, Ma'am, if you ask me, I'd say the Duke." " I'm for Lady Mary," interposed Lord George. " There's nothing like a woman to ferret out news, and find a way to profit by it. The Duke will just say, casually, ' I've got a letter somewhere — I hope I have not mislaid it — about a vacancy in the " Coldstreams ;" if you hear of anything, just drop me a hint. By the way — is Pox in the PusUiers still f — or I hope they'll change that shako, it's monstrous !' Now, my Lady Mary will go another way to work. She'll remember the name of everybody that can be possibly useful. She'll drive about, and give little dinners, and tallc, and flatter, and cajole, and THE DODD rAMIlT ABROAD. 173 intrigue, and growing distant here, and jealous there, she'll bring into action a thousand forces that mere men-creatures know nothing of." " I'm for the Duke stiU," said my mother ; and Mary Anne, by an inclination of her head, showed that she seconded the motion. It became now an actual debate, Bob, and you would be amazed were I to tell you what strong expressions and angry feelings were evoked by mere partisanship, on a subject whereupon not one of us had the slightest knowledge whatsoever. My Eather and I were with Tiverton, and as " Caroline walked into the Lobby," as George phrased it, we carried the question. Mrs. G., however, declared that, beside the casting voice, she had a right to a vote, and giving it to my Mother's side, we were equal. In this stage of the proceedings a compromise alone could be resorted to, and so it was agreed that she should write to both by the same post ; but the discussion had already lost us a day, for the Mail went out while my Mother was " left speaking." I have probably been prolix, my dear friend, in all this detail, but it will at least show you how the Dodd family conduct questions of inter- nal policy ; and teach you, besides, that Cabinets and Councils of State have no special prerogative for folly and absurdity, since even small and obscure folk like ourselves can contest the palm with them. Neither could you well believe what small but bitter animosities, what schisms, and what divisions grew out of a matter so insignificant as this. The remainder of the day was passed gloomily enough, for we each of us avoided the other, with that misgiving that belongs to those who have uneasy consciences. They say that a good harvest often saves a bad Administration ; certainly a fine day will frequently avert a domestic broil. Had the morning which followed our debate been a favourable one, the chances are we should have been away to the Seven Mountains, or the village of Konigs Winter, or some such place ; bad luck would have it, that the rain came down in torrents from daybreak, heavy clouds gathered over the Ehine, shutting out the opposite bank from view, so that nothing remained to us but home resources, which is but too often a brief expression for row and recrimination. Breakfast over, each of us, as if dreading a " Call of the House," affected some peculiarly pressing duty that he had to perform. The Governor retired to pore over his accounts, and try to make out that the debit against him in liis Bank-book was a balance in his favour. My Mother retreated to her room to hold a grand inspection of her wardrobe ; a species of review that always discovers several deser- tions, and a vast amount of " unserviceables." Leaving her and 174 THE DODD rAMLLT ABBOiJ). Mary Ajine in courfc-marfcial over Betty Cobb, who, as usual, when brought up for sentence, claimed the right to be sent home, I pass on to Lord George, whose wet days are generaEy demoted to prac- tising some new " hazard ofF the cushion," or the investigation of that phUoBopher's stone — a martingale at Eouge-et-Noir. I arrive at my own case, which invariably resolves itself into a day of gun and pistol cleaning — an occupation mysteriously linked with gloomy weather, as though one ought to have everything in readiness to How their brains out, if the mercury continued to fall Mrs. G-. had a headache, and Caroline was in pursuit of one over the pages of the " Thirty Tears' War." Such was the tableau of the Dodd family on this agreeable day. I don't give myself much up to reflection, Bob. I have always thought that as Life is a road to be travelled, one step forward is worth any number in the opposite direction ; but I vow to you that, on this occasion, I did begin to ponder a little over the past and the present, with a half-glance at the future. What the Oovemor had said the day before was no more than the truth — we were living at a tremendous rate. If aU belong- ing to us were sold, the capital would scarcely afford sis or seven years of such expenditure. These were serious, if not stunning re- flections, and I heartily wished they had occupied any other head than my own. To you — who have always given your brains their own share of work — thinking is no labour. It's like a gallop to a horse in hard hunting condition, and only serves to keep him in wind ; but to me, whose faculties are to say fresh from grass, the fatigue of thought is no trifling infliction. Slow men, I take it, suffer more than your clever fellows on these occasions, since their minds are not sugges- tive of expedients, and they go on plodding over the same groimd, till they make a beaten course in their poor brains, like an old race- ground. Something in this fashion must have occmred to me ; for by dint of that dreary morning's rumination, I half made up my mind to emigrate somewhere, and if I didn't exactly know where, the fault lies more in my geo^aphy than my spirit of enterprise. The only book I could lay my hands on likely to give me any in- formation was " Cook's Voyages ;" and this, I remembered, was in the Groveraor's room. I at once descended the atairs, and had just reached the little Conservatory outside of it, when I caught sight of a woman's dress beneath the thick foliage of the ocange-trees. I crept noiselessly onward, and after a very devious series of artful dodges, I detected Mrs. D. playing eavesdropper at the Governor's door. THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAB. 175 I tried to persuade myself that I -was mistaken. I did my best to fancy that she was botanisiag, or " bouquet" gathering.; but, no, the stubborn fact would not be denied. There she was, bent down, with ear and eye alternately at the keyhole. Neither the act nor the situation were very dignified, and determining that she should not be detected by any other in this predicament, I kicked down a flower-pot, and, before I had weE time to replace it, she was gone. I'm quite prepared for the laugh you'll give. Bob, when I own to you, that no sooner had I seen her vanish from the horizon, than I deliberately took my place exactly where she had been. Of course, my sense of honour and delicacy suggested that I had no other object in view than to ascertain what it was that had drawn her to the spot ! Any curiosity that possessed me, was strictly eon- fined to this. I accordingly bent my ear to the keyhole, and had just time to re- cognise Mrs. Gore Hampton's voice, when the noise of chairs being drawn back, and the scuffling sounds of feet, showed that the inter- view had come to an end. Scarcely a moment was left me to shelter myself amongst the leaves, when the door opened, " ^covering," as stage directions would say, Mr. Dodd and !Mrs. G-ore Hampton in conversation. There was really a dramatic look in the situation too. The Gover- nor's flowered dressing-gown and velvet skuU-cap, decorated in front by his up-raised spectacles, like a portculUs over his nose, con- trasted so well with the graceful morning robe of Mrs. G., all floating and gauzy, and to which her every gesture imparted some new cha- racter of vapoury lightness. " Dear Mr. Dodd," said she, pressing his hand with extreme cor- diality, " you have been so very, very kind, I really have no words to express what I feel towards you. I have long felt that I owed you this explanation — ^I have tried to summon courage for it for wedss past — ^then, I sometimes doubted how you might receive it." "Oh, Madam!" interrupted he, gracefully closing his drapery with one hand, while he pressed the other on his heart. " Tou kind creature !" cried she, enthusiastically, " I can now wondef at myself that I should ever have admitted a doubt on the question. But if you only knew what sorrows I have seen — ^if you only knew with what severe lessons mistrust and suspieion have become graven on this heart, young as it is " " Ah, Madam !" murmured he, as though the last few words had made the deepest impression upon him, " "Well, it's over now," cried she, in her more natural tone of gaiety. 176 THE rOBD EAMILT ABEOAD. " The weary load is off me, and I am myself again — thanks to you, dear, dear kind friend." 'Faith, Bob, from the enthusiasm of the utterance of this last speech, I thought that a stage embrace ought to have followed ; and I believe that the G-overnor was of my mind too, andonly restrained by some real or fancied necessity to keep his toga closed in front of him. Mrs. G-., however, as though fearing that he might ultimately forget the " unities," again pressed his hand with both her own, and murmuring, " With you, then, my secret is safe — ^to yov, all is con- fided," she hurried away, as if overcome by her feelings. r could not guess what might have reached my Mother's ears, but I thought to myself, if she only had heard even this much, and wit- nessed the fervour with which it was uttered, the Grovernor's life for the next few weeks need not be envied by any one out of a con- demned cell. Not that to me the scene admitted of any interpreta- tion which should warrant her suspicions ; but so it is, she takes a jealous turn every now and then, and he can't take a pinch of snuff without her peering over his shoulder to see if he has not got a miniature in the lid of the box. He used to try to reason her out of these notions — ^his vindications even took the dan- gerous length of certain abstract opinions about the sex in ge- neral, very far from complimentary — but latterly he has sought refuge in drink, which usually ends in an illness, so that an attack of jealousy was the invariable premonitory symptom of one of gout ; and my Mother's temper and tincture of colchicum seemed inse- parably connected by some unseen link. Prom these thoughts I followed on to others about the scene itself, and what possible circumstance could have led Mrs. G-. H. to visit the Governor in his own room, and what was the prodigious mystery she had just confided to his keeping. Probability, I fear, takes up little space in any speculation about a woman. I am sure that if I were to recount to you one-half of the absurd and extrava- gant fancies that occurred, to me on this occasion, you would infaUibly set me down as mad. I'U not tax your patience with the recital, but frankly confess to you that I have not a clue, even the slightest, to the mystery ; nor, from the manner in which I have learned its exist- ence, can I venture to ask Lord George to aid me. The incident had one effect — it totally banished emigration, clear- ings, and log huts from my mind, and set my thoughts a rambling upon all the strange people and extraordinary events that travelling abroad introduces one to ; and with this reflection I strolled back to my room, and sat brooding over the fire till it was time to dress for THE BODD lAMILT ABBOAD. 177 dinner. Although you may not have the vaguest notion of what is passing in the minds of certain people, the very fact that they are fully occupied with certain strong feelings is a reason for observing them with an extraordinary interest ; and so was it, that our party at table that day was full of meaning to me. There was a kind of lan- guid repose about Mrs. Gore Hampton's manner which seemed espe- cially assumed towards the Grovemor, and a certain fidgety con- sciousness in Ms, sufficiently noticeable ; while my Mother, dressed in one of her war turbans, looked unutterably fierce things on every side. It was easy enough to see that all this additional weight upon the safety-valves of her temper threatened a terrible explosion at last, and it required all the tact I could muster to my aid, to defer the catastrophe. Lord George gave me, too, his w illin g aid, and by the help of an old Professor of Oriental Languages, we made up her rubber of whist in the evening. Alas, Bob ! even four by honours couldn't console her for the ■" odd trick" she suspected the Governor was playing her ; and she broke up the card-table, and retired with that swelling dignity of manner that is the accompaniment of injured feelings. It had been our plan to proceed from this place direct to Baden- Baden, which, from everything I can learn, must be a perfect Para- dise ; but now, to my great surprise, I discovered that for some secret reason we should first go to Ems, and remain there, a week or two, before proceeding further. This arrangement was Mrs. G.'s, and Lord George seemed to give it his hearty concurrence ; alleging, but for the first time, that it was absurd to think of Baden before the middle of July. I could easily perceive that this change of pur- pose contained some mysterious motive, but, as Tiverton persisted in averring that it was " all on the square," and "no double," I had to accept it as such. Such is, therefore, our position, as I write these lines ; and although to-morrow might develop the first movement of the campaign, I cannot keep my letter open to communicate it. Tou will see that we are as divided as a Ministerial Cabinet. Some of us, doubtless, have their honest convictions, and others are, perhaps, plastic enough to receive impressions from without, but how we are to work to- gether, and how, as the Great Authority said, the " Government is to be carried on," is more than yet appears to Tour ever attached friend, James Dodd. I open my letter to say that Lord G. has just dropped in to tell 178 THH BODD I'AMILT ABBOiD. me what is the plan of procedure. The Grrand Duehess of Hohen- sehwiUinghen ia to arrive at Ems this week, and Mrs. Gr. H. is anxious to wait upon her at onee. They were dear friends once, but something or other interposed a coolness between them of late years. Lord G. endeavoured to explain this, but I couldn't foUow the story. It was something about one of our Eoyal Family wanting to marry, or not to marry somebody else, and that Mrs. Gr. H., or the Duchess, had promoted or opposed the match. Suffice, it was a regular Bangly shindy, and all engaged in it were of the Blood Boyal. The really important thing at the moment is, that the Grovemor is to conduct Mrs. G. H. to-morrow to Ems, and we are t& follow in a day or two. How my Mother wiU receive this information^ or who is to communicate it to. her, are questions not so easily solved. LETTER XXT. MES. DODD TO MISTRESS^ MART G-ALLAGHER. Mr Deae Mollt, Ie it wasn't that I am supported in a wonderful way, and that my appetite keeps good for the bit I eat, I wouldn't be able to sit down here and relate the sufferings of my afflicted heart. There has been nothing but trials and tribulations over mo siuce I wrote last, and I knew it was coming too, for that dirty beast^ Paddy Byrne, upset the lamp, and spilled aU the oil over the sofa the other evening ; and whilst the others were scouring and scrubbing with spirit of soap and neumonia, I sat down to cry heartily, for I foresaw what was coming ; and I knew well that spilt oil is the. unluckiest thing that ever happens in a family. Maybe I wasn't right. The very next morning Betty Cobb goes and cuts my antic lace flounce down the middle, to make borders for caps ; and that wasn't enough, but she puts the front breadth of my new flowered satin upside down, so that, " to make the roses go right," as James says, "I ought to walk on my head." That's spilt oil for you! "Whilst I was endeavouring to bear up against these, with all Christian animosity, in comes the post-bag. The very sight of it, Molly, gave me a turn ; and, I declare to you, I knew as well there THE DODD BAMILT ABEOAD. 179 was bad news in it as if I was iaside of it. You've often heard of a " presentment," Mony,and that's what I had ; and, when you have that, it's no matter what it's about, whether it's a road that's broke up, or a bridge that's broke down, take my advice and never listen toi what they call "reason," for it's just flying in the face of Provi- dence. I had one before Mary An tip, was bom.- I thought the poor baby would have the mark of a snail on her neck ; and, true enough, the very same week K. I. was shot through the skirts of his coat, and came home with five slugs in him ; and, when you think, as Pather Maher said, " Slugs and Snails are own brothers," or, at least, have a strong anomaly between them, my dream came true ; not but I acknowledge gratefully that, in this case, the fright was worse than the reality. Well, to come back to the bag ; I looked at it, and said to myself as I often said to K. I., " Smooth and slippery as you seem without, there's bad inside of you ;" and you'll see yourself if I wasn't right both ways. The first letter they took out was for myself, and in "Waters' a handwriting. It began with all the balderdash and hard names the lawyers have for everytlung, trying to confuse and confound, just as Pather Maher says, the " scuttle fish" muddies the water before he runs away ; but, towards the end, my dear, he grew plainer ajid more conspicuous, for he said, " Ton will perceive, by the subjoined ac- count, that after the payment of law charges,, and other contingent expenses, the sum at your disposal will amount to twelve hundred and thirty-four pounds sis and niaepence-halfpenny." I thought I'd dropi, Molly, as I read it ; I shook and I trembled, and I believe, indeed, ended with a strong fit of screeching, for my nerves was weak before, and really this shock was too much for any constitution. Twelve hundred and thirty-sis ! when I expected, at the very least, fifteen or sixteen thousand pounds 1 It was only that very blessed morning that I was planning to myself about a separation from K. I. I calculated that I'd have about six hundred a year of my own ; and, out of decency sake, he couldn't refuse me three or four more, and with this, and my present knowledge of the Continent, I thought I'd do remarkably well. For I must observe to yon, MoUy, that there's no manner of disgrace, or even unpleasantness, in being separated abroad. It is not like in Ireland, where everybody thinks the worse of you both ; and, what between your own friends and your husband's friends, there isn't an event of your private life that's not laid bare before the world, so that, at last, the defence of you turns out to be just as dreadful as the abuse. No, Molly, here it's all different. n2 180 THE DODD SAMUT ABBOAB. jf^ext to being divorced, the most fasMonable thing is a separation, and for one woman, in really high life, that lives with her husband, you'U find three that does not. I suppose, like everything else in this siaful world, there's good and there's bad in this custom. "When I first came abroad, I own, I disliked to see it. I fancied that, no matter how it came about, the women was always wrong. But that was merely an Irish prejudice, and, like many others, I have lived to get rid of it. There's nothing convinces you of this so soon as knowing intimately the ladies that are in this situation. Of all the amiable creatures I ever met, I know nothing to com- pare with them. It is not merely of manners and good breeding that I speak, but the gentle, mild, quietness of their temper — a kind of submissive softaess that, I own to you, one can't have with their husbands, and maybe that's the reason they've left them. I merely mention this to show you, that if I had a reasonably good income, and was separated from K. I., there's no society abroad that I mightn't be in ; and, in fact, my dear MoUy, I may sum all up by saying, that living with your husband may give you some comfort, when you're at home, but it certainly excludes you from all sympathy, abroad ; and for one friend that you have in the former case, you'll have, at the least, ten in the latter. This will explain to you why and how my thoughts ran upon sepa- ration, for if I had stayed in Ireland, I'm sure I'd never have thought of it ; for I own to you, vdth shame and sorrow, MoUy, that we know no more about civilisation in our poor Ireland, " than," as Lord George says, "a Prairie Bull does about oil-cake." Tou may judge then of what my feeUngs was when I read Waters's letter, and saw all my elegant hopes meltiag like jelly on a hot plate. Twelve hundred pounds ! "Was it out of mockery he left it to me ? Taith, MoUy, I cried more that night than ever I thought to do for old Jones M'Carthy ! Myself and Mary Anne was as red in the eyes as two ferrets. The first, and of course the great shock, was the loss of the money, and after that came the thought of the way K. I. would behave when he discovered my disappointment. Por I must tell you that the bare idea of my being independent drove him almost crazy. He seemed, somehow, to have a kind of a lurking suspicion that I'd want to sepa- rate, and now, when he'd come to discover the trifle I was left, there would be no enduring his gibes and his jeers. I had it all before me how he'd go on, tormenting and harassing me from daylight to dark. 5?his was dreadful, Molly, and overcame me completely. I knew THE DODr FAMILY ABEOAD. 181 him well ; and that he wouldn't be satisfied with laughing at my legacy, but he'd go on to abuse the M'Oarthy family and aU my rela- tions. There's nothing a low man detests like the real old nobility of a country. Mary Anne and I talked it all over the whole night, and turned it every way we could think. If we kept the whole secret, it would save " going into black" for ourselves and the servants, and that was a great object ; but then we couldn't take the name of M'Oarthy after that of Dodd, quartering the arms on our shield, and so on, without announcing the death of poor Jones M'Oarthy. There was the hitch; for Mary Anne persisted in thinking that the best thing about it all, was the elegant opportunity it offered of getting rid of the name of Dodd, or, at the least, hiding it under the shadow of M'Oarthy. i Ah, my dear Molly, you know the proverb, " Man proposes, but Fate opposes." WhUe we were discoursing over these things, little I guessed the mine that was going to explode under my feet. I men- tioned to you in my last, I think, a lady with whom we agreed to travel in company — a Mrs. Gore Hampton, a very handsome, showy woman — though I own to you, Molly, not, what I call " one of my beauties." She is tail and dark haired, and has that kind of soft, tender way with men, that I remark does more mischief than any other. "We all liked her greatly at first — I suppose she determined we should, and spared no pains to suit herself to our various dispositions. I'm sure I tried to be as accommodating as she was, and I took to arts and sciences, that I couldn't find any pleasure in ; but I went with the stream, as the saying is, and you'll see where it left me ! I vow to you I had my misgivings that a handsome, fine-looking young woman was only thinking of dried frogs and ferns. They weren't natural tastes, and so I kept a sharp eye on her. At one time I suspected that she was tender on Lord George, and then I thought it was James ; but at last, Molly darling, the truth flashed across me, like a streak of lightning, making me stone blind in a minute ! What was it I perceived, do you think, but that the real "Lutherian" was no other than K. I. himself. I feel that I'm blushing as I write it. The father of three children, grown up, and fifty-eight in November, if he's not more, but he won't own to it ! There's things, Molly, " too dreadful," as Father Maher remarks, "for human credulity," and when one of them comes across you in life, the only thing is to take up the Litany to St. Joseph, and go 182 THE DODD TAMILT AJBBOAD. over it once or twice, then read a chapter or two of Dr. Orofte " Modem Miracles of the Church," and by that time you're in a frame to believe anything. "Well, as I hadnt the book 'by me, I thought I'd take a solitary ramble by myself to reflect and consider, and down I went to a kind of green-house that is full of orange and lemon-trees, and where I was sure to be alone. K. I. has what he calls his dressing-room — it's little trouble dj!eas- ing gives him — at the end of this, but I wasn't attending to that, but sitting with a heavy heart under a dwarf fig-tree, like Nebuchad- nezzar, and only full of my own misfortunes, when I heard through the trees the rustling sound of a woman's dress. I bent down my head to see, and there was Mrs. Gr. in a white muslin dressing- gown, but elegantly triamned with Malines lace, two falls round the cape, and the same on the arm, just as becoming a thing as any she could put on. " What's this for," said I to myself; for you may guess I knew she didn't dress that way to pluck lemons and green limes, and so I sat watching her in silence. She stood, evidently listening, for a miuute or two ; she then gathered two or three flowers, and stuck them in her waist, and, after that, she hummed a few bars of a tune, quite low, and as if to herself. That was, I suppose, a signal, for K. I.'s door opened; and there he stood himself, and a nice-looking article he was, with liis ragged robe de chambre, and his greasy skuU-cap, bowing and scrapimg like an old monkey. " I little Imew that such a flower was blooming in the ■Conservatory," said "he, with a smirk, I suppose he thought quite captivating. " Toil do not pretend that you selected your apartment here but in the hope of watching the unfolding buds," replied she ; and then, with something in a lower voice, to which he answered in the same, she passed on into his room, and he closed the door after her. I suppose I must have fainted, MoUy, after that. I remembered nothing except seeing lemon and orange-trees all sliding and flitting about, and felt myself as if I was shooting down the Ehine on a raft. MaylDe it's for worse that I'm reserved. Maybe it would have been ■well for me if I was carried away out of this world of woe, wickedness, and artful widows. "When I came to myself, I suddenly recalled everything; audit was as much as I could do not to scream out and bring all the house to the spot and expose them both. But I sub- dued my indigent feelings, and, creeping over to the door, I peeped at them through the keyhole. K. I. was seated in hia bag chair, she in another close beside him. THE KOBD FAMILT AEEOAB. 183 He was readiag a letter, and she, wateliing him, as if her life depended on him. " Now read this," said she, thrusting another paper into his hand, "for you'U see it is even worse." " My heart bleeds for you, my dear Mrs. Gore," said he, taking off his spectacles and wiping his eyes, and red enough they were after- wards, for there was snuff on his handkerchief — " my heart bleeds for you !" These were his words, and why I didn't break open the door when I heard them, is more than I can teR. :"I was certain of your sympathy; I knew you'd feel for me, my dear Mr. Dodd," said she, sobbing. " Of course you were," said I, to myself.' " He was the kind of old fool you wanted. But, faith, he shall feel for me, too, or my name is not Jemima." " I don't suppose you ever heard of so cruel a case ?" said she, still sobbing. "Never — never," cried he, clasping his hands. " I didn't believe it was in the nature of man to treat youth, beauty, and loveliness with such inhumanity. One that could do it must be a Creole Indian." " Ah, Mr. Dodd ! " said she, looking up into his eyes. "In Tartaay, or the Tropics," said he, "such wretches maybe found, but in our own country, and our own age " " Ah, Mr. Dodd," said she again, " it is only in an Irish heart such generous emotions have their home !" The artful hussey, she knew the tenderest spot of his nature by an instinct ! for if there was anything he couldn't resist, it was the appeal to his being Irish. And to show you, MoUy, the designing draft of her, she knew that weakness of K. I. in less than a month's acquaintance, -that I didn't find out tiU I was eight or nine years 3!Barried to him. For a minute or two my feelings overcame me so much, that I couldn't look or listem to them ; but when I did, she had her hand on his arm, and was saying in the softest voice, " I may, then, count upon your kindness — I may rest assured of your friendship." " That you may — ^that you may, my dear Madam," said he. Tes, MoUy, he called her Madam to her own face. " If there should be any cruel enough, ungenerous enough, or base enough," sobbed she, " to calumniate me, yoK will be my Protector • 184 THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAB. and beneath your roof shall I find my refuge. Your character — your station in society — the honourable position you have ever held in the world — ^your claims as a Father — your age — will all give the best contradiction to any scandal that malevolence can invent. Those dear venerable locks " Just as she said this, I heard somebody coming, and in haste, too, for a flower-pot was throvm down, and I had barely time to make my escape to my own room, where I threw myself on my bed, and cried for two hours. I have gone through many trials, Molly. Few women, I believe, have seen more affliction and sorrow than myseK; from the day of my Ul-suited marriage with K. I. to the present moment, I may say, it has been out of one misery into another with me ever since. But I don't think I ever cried as hearty as I did then, for, you see, there was no delusion or confusion possible ! I heard everything with my own ears, and saw everything with my own eyes. I listened to their plans and projects, and even heard them rejoicing that, because he was stricken in years, and the father of a grown family, nobody would suspect what he was at. " Those dear vene- rable locks," as she called them, wpre to witness for him! Oh, Molly, wasn't this too bad ; could you believe that there was as much duplicity in the world as this ? I own, I never did. I thought I saw wickedness enough in Ireland. I know the shameless way I was cheated in wool, and that Mat never was honest about rabbit- skins. But what was aU that compared to this ? When I grew more composed, I sent for Mary Anne, and told her everything ; but just to show you the perversity of human nature, she wouldn't agree to one word I said. It was law papers, she was sure, that Mrs. Gr. was showing; she had something in Chancery, maybe, or perhaps it was a legacy " tied up," Uke our ovm, " and that she wanted advice about it." But what nonsense that was ! Sure, he needn't be the father of a family to advise her about all that. And there I was, Molly, without human creature to support or sus- tain me ! Tor the first time since I came abroad, I wished myself back in Dodsborough. Not, indeed, that K. I. would ever have be- haved this way at home in Ireland, with the eyes of the neighbour- hood on him, and Father Maher within call. I passed a weary night of it, for Mary Anne never left me, arguing and reasoning with me, and trying to convince me that I was wrong, and if I was to act upon my delusions, that I'd be the ruin of them all. " Here we are now," said she, "with the finest opportunity for THE DODD TAMILT ABEOAD. 185 getting into society ever was known. Mrs. Gr. ia one of the aristo- cracy, and intimate with everybody of fashion, quarrel with her, or even displease her, and where will we be, or who will know us ? Our difficulties are already great enough. Papa's drab gaiters, and the name of Dodd, are obstacles in our way, that only great tact and first- rate management can get over. When we are swimming for our lives," said she, " let us not throw away a life-preserver." "Wasn't it a nice name for a woman that was going to shipwreck a whole family ? The end of it all was, however, that I was to restrain my feelings, and be satisfied to observe and watch what was going on, for as they could have no conception of my knowing anything, I might be sure to detect them. When I agreed to this plan, I grew easier in my mind, for, as I remarked to Mary Anne, " I'm like soda-water, and when you once draw the cork, I never fret nor froth any more." So that after a cold chicken, cut up with salad, a thing Mary Anne makes to perfection, and a glass of white wine negus, I slept very soundly till late in the afternoon. Mary Anne came twice into my room to see if I was awake, but I was lying in a dreamy kind of half-sleep, and took no notice of her, tiU she said that Mrs. Gore Hampton was so anxious to speak to me about something confidentially. " I think," said Mary Anne, " she wants your advice and counsel for some matter of difficulty, because she seems greatly agitated, and very impatient to be admitted." I thought at fiist to say I was indisposed, and couldn't see any one ; but Mary Anne persuaded me it was best to let her in ; so I dressed myself in my brown satin with three flounces, and my jet ornaments, out of respect to poor Jones that was gone, and waited for her as composed as could be. Mary Anne has often remarked, that there's a sort of quiet dignity in my manner when I'm oifended, that becomes me greatly. I suppose I'm more engaging when I am pleased. But the grander style, Mary Anne thinks, becomes me even better. Upon this occa- sion I conclude that I was looking my very best, for I saw that Mrs. Gr. made an involuntary stop as she entered, and then, as if suddenly correcting herself, rushed over to embrace me. " Porgive my rudeness, my dear Mrs. Dodd, and although nothing can be in worse taste than to ofier any remark upon a fiiend's dress, I must positively do it. Tour cap is charming — actually charm- ing." 186 THE DOBD 3?AMIIiT ABEOAD. It was a bit of net, Molly, with a rosette of pink and blue ribbon on tie sides, and only cost eight francs, so that I showed her that the flattery didn't succeed. " It's very simple, Ma'am," said I, " and therefore more suitable to my time of life." " Tour time of life," said she, laughing, so that for several minutes she couldn't continue. " Say ow time of life, if you Hke, and I hope and trust it's exactly the time in which one most enjoys the world, and is really most fitted to adorn it.'" I can't follow her, MoUy ; I don't inow what she said, or didn't say, about Princesses, and Duchesses, and other great folk, that made no "sensation" whatever in society tiD. they were, as she said, "like us." She is an artful creature, and has a most plausible way with her ; but this I must say, that many of her remarks were strictly and unde- niably true ; particularly when she spoke about the dignified repose and calm suavity of womanhood. There I was vrith her completely, for nothing shocks me more than that giggling levity one sees in young girls, and even in some young married women. "We talked a great deal on this subject, and I agreed with her so entirely, that I was in danger every moment of forgetting the cold reserve that I ought to feel towards her ; but every now and then it came over me like a shudder, -and I bridled up, and called her " Ma'am" in a way that quite chilled her. "Here, it's four o'clock," said she, at last, looking at her watch, " and I haven't yet said one word about what I came for. Of course you know what I mean ?" " I have not that honour, Ma'am," said I, with dignity. " Indeed ! Then Mr. Dodd has not apprised you — ^he has men- tioned nothing " " No, Ma'am, Mr. Dodd has mentioned nothing," and this I said with a significance, MoUy, that even stone would have shrunk under. "Men are too absurd," said she, laughing; "they recollect nothing." " They do forget themselves at tdmes, Ma'am," said I, with a look that must have shot through her. She was so confused, Molly, that she had to pretend to be looking for something in her bag, and held down her head for several seconds. " Where can I have laid that letter," said she. " I am so veiy careless about letters ; fortunately for me I have no secrets, is it not ?" THE DODD lAMIIiT ABEOA.D. 187 This was too barefaced, Molly, so I only said " Humpt!" " I must have left it on my table," said sbe, stiU searcbiog, " or perhaps dropped it as I came along." "Maybe in the Consea-vatory, Ma'am," said I, with a piercing glance. " I never go there," said she, calmly. " One is sure to catch cold . in it, with all the drafts." The audacity of this speech gave me a sick feeling all OTer, and I thought I'd have fainted. The effrontery that could carry her through that, thought I, will sustaiu her in any -wickedness ; and I sat there powerless before her from that minute. "The letter," said she, "was from old Madame de Eougemont, who is iu waiting on the Duchess, and mentions that they will reach Ems by the 24th at latest. It's fuU of gossip. You know the old Eougemont, what wonderful tact she has, and how well she tells everything." She rattled along here at such a rate, Molly, that even if I knew every topic of her discourse, I could not have kept up with her. There was the Emperor of Eussia, and the Queen of Greece, and Prince this of Bavairia, and Prince that of the Asturias, all moving about in little family incidents ; and what between the things they were displeased at, and others that gratified them — how this one was disgraced, and ttiat got the cross of St. Something, and why such a one went here to meet somebody who couldn't go there — my head was so completely addled, that I was thankful to Providence when she concluded the harangue by something that I could comprehend. " Under these circumstaiaces, my dear Mrs. Dodd," said she, "you will, I am sure, agree with me, there is no time to be lost." " I think not. Ma'am," said I, but without an inkling of what I was Baying. "I knew you would say so," said she, clasping my hand. "Ton have an unerring tact upon every question, which reminds me so strongly of Lady Paddingtou. She and the Great Duke, you know, were said to be never in the wrong. It is therefore an unspeakable relief to me that you see this matter as I do. It will be, besides, such a pleasure to the poor dear Duchess to have us with her ; for I vow to you, Mrs. Dodd, I love her for her own sake. Many people make a show of attachment to her from seMsh motives — they know how gratified our Eoyal Family feel for such attentions — but I really love lier for herself, and so will you, dearest Mrs. Dodd. Worldly folk would speculate upon the advantages to be derived from her vast 188 THE DODD TAMILT ABEOAD. influence — the posts of honour to be conferred on sons and daugh- ters ; but I know how little these things weigh with i/ou, Not, I must add, but that I give you less credit for this independence of feel- ing than I should accord to others. Ton and yours are happily placed above all the accidents of fortune in this world; and if it ever should occur to you to seek for anything in the power of patronage to bestow, who is there would not hasten to confer it ? But to return- to the dear Duchess. She says the 24ith at latest, and to-day we are at the 22nd, so you see there is not any time to lose." "Not a great deal indeed. Ma'am," said I, for I suddenly remem- bered all about her with K. I., as she laid her hand on wy arm ex- actly as I saw her do upon Ms. " "With a sympathetic soul," cried she, " how little need is there of explanation ! Tou already see what I am pointing at. Tou have read in my heart my devotion and attachment to that sweet Princess, and you see^how I am bound by every tie of gratitude and aflfection to hasten to meet her." Tou may^be sure, Molly, that I gave vaj heartiest concurrence to the arrangement. The very thought of getting rid of her was the best tidings I could hear ; since, besides putting an end to all her plots and devices for the future, it would give me the opportunity of settling accounts with K. I., which it would be impossible to do tiU I had him here alone. It was then with real sincerity that my " sym- pathetic soul" fully assented to all she said. " I knew you would forgive me. I knew that you would not be angry with me for this sudden flight," said she. " Not in the least. Ma'am," said I, stiffly. " This is true kindness — this is real friendship," said she, pressing my hand. " I hope it is. Ma'am," said I, drily ; for indeed, Molly, it was hard work for me to keep my temper under. She never, however, gave me much time for anything, for off she went once more about her own plans ; telling me how little luggage she would take ; how soon we should meet again ; how delighted the Duchess would be with me and Mary Anne ; and twenty things more of the same sort. At last we separated, but not till we had embraced each other three times over ; and, to tell you the truth, I had it in my heart to strangle her while she was doing it. The agitation I went through, and my passion boiling in me, and no vent for it, made me so ill, that I was taking Hoffman and cam- THE DODD TAMIIT ABEOiO). 189 pbor the whole evening after ; and I couldn't, of course, go down to dinner, but had a light veal cutlet Tivith a little sweet sauce, and a roast pigeon with mushrooms, in my own room. K. I. wanted to come in and speak to me, but I refused admission, and sent him word that " I hoped I'd be equal to the task of an in- terview in the course of a day or so ;" a message that must have made him tremble for what was in store for him. I did this on purpose, MoUy, for I often remarked that there's nothing subdues K. I. so much as to keep something hanging over him. As he said once him- self, " Life isn't worth having, if a man can be called up at any minute for sentence." And that shows you, Molly, what I often- times mentioned to you, that if you want, or expect true happiness in the married state, there's only one road to it, and that is by studying the temper and the character of your husband, learning what is his weakness, and which are his defects. "V\Tien you know these well, my dear, the rest is easy ; and it's your own fault if you don't mould him to your liking. Whether it was the mushrooms, or a little very weak shrub punch, that Mary Anne made, disagreed with me, I can't tell, but I had a nightmare every time I went to sleep, and always woke up with a screech. That's the way I spent the blessed night, and it was only as day began to break that I felt a regular drowsiness over me, and went off into a good comfortable doze. Just then there came a rat- tUng of horses' hoofs, and a cracking of whips under the window, and Mary Anne came up to say something, but I wouldn't listen, but covered my head up in the bed-clothes till she went away. It was twenty minutes to four when I awoke, and a gloomy day, with a thick, soft rain falling, that I knew well would bring on one of my bad headaches, and I was just prepariog myself for suffering, when Mary Anne came to the bed-side. " Is she gone, Mary Anne ?" said I. " Yes," said she ; "they went off before six o'clock." " Thanks be to Providence," said I. " I hope I'U never see one of them again." "Oh, Mamma," said she, " don't say that !" " And why wouldn't I say it, Mary Anne ?" said I. " "Would you have me nurse a serpent — ^harbour a boa-constrictor in my bosom." " But, then. Papa," said she, sobbing. " Let him come up," said I. " Let him see the wreck he has made of me. Let him come and feast his eyes over the ruin his own cruelty has worked." 190 THE DODD BAMILT ABBOAD. " Sure he's gone," said she. "Q-one! Who's gone f" " Papa. He's gone with Mrs. Gore Hampton !" With that, Molly, I gave a scream that was heard all over the house. And so it was for two hours — screech after screech' — tearing my hair, and destroying everything within reach of me. To think of the old wretch — for I know Hs age right well ; Sam Davis was at aehool with him forty-eight years ago, at Doctor Bell's, and that shows he's no chicken — behaving this way. I knew the depravity of the man well enough. I didn't pass twenty years with him with- out learning the natural wickedness of his disposition, but I never thought he'd go the length of this. Oh, Molly! the shock nearly killed me ; and coming as it did after the dreadful disappointment about Jones M'Carthy's affiiirs, I don't know at all how I bore up against it. I must tell you that James and Mary Anne didn't see it with my eyes. They thought, or they pretended to think, that he was only going as far as Ems, to accompany her, as they called it, on a visit to the Princess — just as if there was a Princess at all, and that the whole story wasn't lies from beginning to end. Lord George, too, took their side, and wanted to get angry at my unjust suspicions about Mrs. G-., but I just said, what would the world think of me, if I went away in a chaise and four with him, by way of paying a visit to somebody that never existed ? He tried to laugh it off, Molly, and made little of it, but I wouldn't let him, in particular before Mary Anne — ^for whatever sins they may lay to my charge, I believe that they can't pretend that I didn't bring up the girls with sound principles of virtue and morality — and just to convince him of that, I turned to, and exposed K. I. to James and the two girls tUl they were well ashamed of him. It's a heartless bad world we live in, Molly ! and I never knew its badness, I may say, till now. Tou'll scarce believe me when I teU you that it wasn't from my own flesh and blood that I met comfort or sympathy, but from that good-for-nothing creature, Betty Cobb- Mary Anne and Caroline persisted in saying that K. I.'s journey was all innocence and purity — that he was only gone in a fatherly sort of a way with her ; but Betty knew the reverse, and I must own that she seemed to know more about him than I ever suspected. " Ah, the ould rogue ! — the ould villain !" she'd mutter to herself, in a fashion that showed me the character he had in the servants' hall. If I had only a little command of my temper, I might have found out many a thing of him, Molly, and of his doings at Dodsborough, but how could I at a moment like that ? THE DODD I'AMILT ABEOAB. 191 And that's how I was, Molly, with nothiag but enemies about me, in the bosom of my own famCy ! One saying, " Don't expose us to the world — don't bring people's eyes on us;" and the other calling out, " "We'll be ruined entirely if it gets into the papers !" so that, in fact, they wanted to deny me the little bit of sympathy I might have attracted towards, my destitute and forlorn condition. Had I been at home, in Dodsborough, I'd have made the country ring with his disgrace ; but they wouldn't let me utter a word here, and I was obliged to sit down, as the Poet says, "like a worm in the bud," and consume my grief in solitude. He went away, too, without leaving a shilling behind him, and the bill of the Hotel not even paid ! Nothing sustained me, Molly, but the notion of my one day meeting him, and settling these old scores. I even worked myself into a half-fever, at the thought of the way I'd overwhelm him. Maybe it was well for me that I was obliged to rouse my energies to activity, and provide for the future, which I did by drawing two bills on Waters for a hundred and fifty each, and, with the help of them, we mean to remove from this on Saturday, and proceed to Baden, where, according to Lord George, "there's no such thing as evil speaking, lying, or slandering ;" to use his own words, " It's the most charitable society in Europe, and every one can in- dulge his vices without note or comment from his neighbours." And, after all, one must acknowledge the great superiority in the good breeding of the Continent in this particular, for as Lord Gr. remarks, " If there's anything a man's own, it's his private widsedness, and there's no such indelicacy as in canvassing or discussing it ; and what becomes of a Conscience,'' says he, " if everybody reviles and abuses you? Sure, doesn't it lead you to take your own part, even when you're in the wrong ?" He has a persuasive way with him, Molly, that often surprises myself how far it goes with me, and indeed, even in the midst of my aiSictions and distresses, he made me laugh with his account of Baden, and the strange people that go there. "We're to go to the Hotel do Eussie, the finest in the place, and say that we are expecting some friends to join us ; for K. I. and Madam may arrive at any moment. As I write these lines, the girls and Betty are packing up the things, so that long before it reaches you we shall be at our destination. The worst thing in my present situation is, that I mustn't mutter a syllable against K. I., or, if I do, I have them aU on my back ; and as to Betty, her sympathy is far worse than the silence of the others. And there's the way your poor friend is in. 192 THE BODD FAMILY ABEOAH. To be robbed — ^for I know "Waters is robbing me — and cheated, and deceived, all at the same time, is too much for my unanimity ! Don't let on to the neighbours about K. I. ; for, as Lord G. says, " these things should never be mentioned in the vrorld till they're talked of in the House of Lords ;" and I suppose he's right, though I don't see why — but maybe it's one of the prerogatives of the Peerage to have the first of an ugly story. I have done now, MoUy, and I wonder how my strength has carried me through it. I'll vwite you as soon as I get to Baden, and hope to hear from you about the wool. I'm always reading in the papers about the improvement of Ireland, and yet I get less and less out of it ; but maybe that same is a sign of prosperity ; for I remember my poor father was never so stingy as when he saved a little money; and indeed my own conviction is, that much of what we used to call Irish hospitality was neither more nor less than dovmright desperation — we had so little in the world, it wasn't worth hoarding. Tou may write to me stUl as Mrs. Dodd, though maybe it will be the last time the name wUl be borne by your Injured and afflicted friend, Jemima. P.S. I'm sure Paddy Byrne is in K. I.'s secret, for he goes about grinning and sniggering in the most offensive manner, for which I am just going to give him warning. Not, indeed, that I'm serious about discharging him, for the journey is terribly expensive, but by way of alarming the little blaguard. If Pather Maher would only threaten to curse them, as he used, we'd have peace and comfort once more. THE DODD TAMILT ABEOAD. 193 LETTEE XXII. KENNY DODD TO THOMAS PUKCELI,, ESQ., OP THE GEANGE, BEUFP. Eisenach. Mt beae Tom, ToTJ will be surprised at tlie address at the top of this letter, but not a whit more so than I am myself. How, when, and why I came here, being niatters which require some explanation, nor am I quite certain of making them very intelligible to you even by that process. My only chance of success , however, lies in beginning at the very com- mencement, and so I shall start with my departure from Bonn, which took place eight days ago, on the morning of the 22nd. My last Letter informed you of our having formed a travelling alliance with a very attractive and charming person, Mrs. Grore Hampton. Lord George Tiverton, who introduced us to each other, represented her as being a fashionable of the first water, very highly connected, and very rich — facts sufficiently apparent by her manners and appearance, as well as by the style in which she was travelling. He omitted, however, all mention of her immediate circumstances, so that we were profoundly ignorant as to whether she were a widow or had a husband living, and if so, whether separated from him casu- ally, or by a permanent arrangement. It may sound very strange that we should have formed such a close alliance while in ignorance of these circumstances, and, doubtless, in our own country, the inquiry would have preceded the ratification of this compact, but the habits of the Continent, my dear Tom, teach very different lessons. AH social transactions are carried on upon principles of unlimited credit, and you endorse every biU of passing acquaintanceship with a most reckless disregard to the day of pre- sentation for payment. Some would, perhaps, tell you that your scruples would only prove false terrors. My own notion, however, is less favourable, and my theory is this : you get so accustomed to " raffish" intimacies, you lose all taste or desire for discrimination ; in fact, there's so much false money in circulation, it would be useless to "riQg a particular rap on the counter." Not that I have the very most distant notion of applying my theory to the case in hand. I adhere to all I said of Mrs. G. ia my former epistle, and notwithstanding your quizzing about my "raptiu'es," o 194 THE DOSS TAMILT ABBOAJ). Ac, I can only repeat everything I there said about her loveliness and fascination. Perhaps one's heart becomes, lilce mutton, more tender by being old, but this I must say, I never remember to have met that kind of woman vrhen I was young. Either I must have been a very inaccu- rative observer, or, what I suspect to be nearer the fact, they were not the peculiar productions of that age. "When the Continent was closed to us by war, there was a home stamp upon all our manufactures — our chairs and tables, our knives, and our candlesticks, were all made after native models, solid and substantial enough, but, I believe, neither very artistic nor graceful. "We were used to them, however, and as we had never seen any other, we thought them the very perfection of their kind. The Peace of '15 opened our eyes, and we discovered, to our infinite chagrin and aistonishment, that, in matters of elegance and taste, we were little better than barbarians — ^that shape and symmetry had their claims as well as utility, and that the happy combination of these qualitieB was a test of civilisation. I don't think we saw all this at once, nor, indeed, for a number of years, because, somehow, it's in the nature of a people to stand up for their shortcomings and deficiencies — that very spirit being the bone and sinew of all Patriotism — but I'U teU you where we felt this discre- pancy most remarkably — ^in our women, Tom, the very point, of all others, that we ought never to have experienced it in. There was aplastic elegance — a species of soft, seductive way about foreign women, that took us wonderfully. They did not wait for our advances, but met us half-way in inttimacy, and this, without any bold- ness or efirontery — quite the reverse, but with a tact and delicacy that were perfectly captivating. I don't doubt but, for home purposes, we should have found that our own answered best, and, Hko our other manufactures, that they would last longer, and be less liable to damage ; but, unfortunately, the spirit of imitation that stimulated us in hardware and jewellery, set in just as violently about our vrives and daughters, and a pretty dance has it led us ! Prom my heart and soul I vrish wo had Umited the use of French polish to our mahogany ! I don't know how I got into this digression, Tom, nor have I the least notion where it would conduct me, but I feel that the Mrs. Gore Hamptons of this world took their origin in the time and from the spirit I speak of, and a more dangerous invention the Age never made. "When you read over your notes, and sum up what I've been THE DOBD FAMILY ABEOAD. 195 saying, you'll perhaps discover the reason of what you are pleased in. your last letter to call my "extreme sensibility to the widow's charms." But you wrong us both, for Tm not in love, nor is she a widow ! Aaid this brings me back to my narrative. About ten days ago, as I was sitting in my own room, in the "otium own dig." of my old dressing-gown and slippers, I received a visit foom Mrs. G. in a manner which at once proclaimed the strictest secrecy and confidence. She came, she said, to consult me, and, as a gentleman, I am bound to believe her ; but if you want to mate use of a man's faculties, you'd certainly never begin bytuming his brain. If you wished to send him of a message, you'd surely not set out by spraining his ankle ? They say that the IVench Cuirassiers puzzled our Horse Ghiards greatly at Waterloo. There was no knowing where to get a stick at them. There's a kind of dress, just now the fashion among ladies, that confuses me fially as much — a species of gauzy, filmy, floating costume, that makes you always feel quite near, and yet keeps you a considerable distance off. It's a most bewitching, setherial style of costume, and especially invented, I think, for the bewilderment of elderly gentlemen. More than half of the effect of a Eoyal visit to a man's own house is in the contrast presented by an iUustrious presence to the little commonplace objects of his daily life. Seeing a King in his own sphere, surrounded with all the attributes and insignia of his station, is not nearly so astounding as to see him sitting in your old leather arm-chair, with his feet upon your fender — ^mayhap, stirring your fire with your own poker. Just the same kind of thing is the ap- pearance of a pretty woman within the little den, sacred to your secret smokings and studies of the Times newspaper. An angel taking off her wings in the hall, and dropping in to take pot-luck with you, could scarcely realise a more charming vision ! AH this preliminary discourse of mine, Tom, looks as if I were skulking the explanation that I promised. I know well what is passing in your mind this minute, and I fancy that I hear you mutter, "Why not tell us what she came about — ^what brought her there ?" It's not so easy as you think, Tom PurceH. When a very pretty woman, in the most becoming imaginable toilet, comes and tells you a long story of personal sufferings, and invokes your sympathy against the cruel treatment of a barbarous husband and his hard-hearted family — when the narrative alternates between traits of shocking tjrranny on one side, and angeUc submission on the other — when you listen to wrongs that make your blood boU, re- o2 196 THE DODD FJlMILT AEBOi-D. counted by accents that make your heart vibrate — when the implor- ing looks, and tones, and gesture that failed to excite pity in her "Monster of a husband" are all rehearsed before you yourself — ^to you directed those tearful glances of melting tenderness — to. you raised up those beautiful hands of more than sculptured syrmnetry, I say again, that your reason is never consulted on the whole pro- cess. Tour sensibility is aroused, your sympathy is evoked, and all your tenderest emotions excited, pretty much as in hearing an Italian Opera, where, without knowing one word of the language, the tones, the gestures, the play of feature, and the signs of passion, move and melt you into alternate horror at cruelty, and compassionate sorrow for suffering. Make the place, instead of the stage, your own study, and the personage no prima donna, but a very charmiug creature of the real world, and the illusion is ten times more complete. I have no more notion of Mrs. Gore Hampton's history than I shoidd have of the plot of a novel from reading a newspaper notice of it. She was married at sixteen. She was. very beautiful, very rich — ^a petted, spoilt child. She thought the world a Pairy tale, she said. I was goiug to ask, was it " Beauty and the Beast" that was in her mind. At first aU was happiness and bliss ; then came jealousy, not on her part, but his ; disagreements and disputes followed. They went abroad to visit some Royal personage — a Duchess, a Grand Duchess, an Archduchess of something, who figures through the whole history in a mysterious and wonderful manner, coming in at aU. times and places, and apparently never for any other piu^pose than vrickedness, like Zamiel in the " Preyshiitz ;" but, notwithstanding, she is always called the dear, good, kiad Princess — an apparent contradiction that also assists the mystification. Then, there are letters from the hus- band — ^reproach and condemnation ; from the wife — ^love, tenderness, and fidelity. The Duchess happily writes French, so I am spared the pains of following her correspondence. Chancery was nothing to the confu- sion that comes of all this letter- writing, but I come out with the one strong fact, that the dear Princess stands by Mrs. G. through thick and thin, and takes a bold part against the husband. A ship- wrecked sailor never clung to a hen-koop with greater tenacity than did I grasp this one solitary fact, floating at large upon the wide ocean of uncertainty. I assure you I almost began to feel an affection for the Duchess, from the mere feeling of relief this thought afforded. She was like a sanctuary to my poor, persecuted, hunted-down imagination ! THE BODD TAMILT ABEOAB. 197 Have you ever, in reading a three-volume, novel, Tom, been on the eve of abandoning the task from pure inability to trace out the story, when suddenly, and as it were by chance, some little trait or incident gives, if not a clue to the mystery, at least that small flicker- ing of light that acts as a guide-star to speculation ? This was what I experienced here, and I said to myself, " I know the sentiments of the Duchess, at least, and that's something." Do you know, that I didn't like proceeding any further with the story — ^like a tired swimmer, who had reached a rock far out at sea, I didn't fancy trusting myself once more to the waves. However, I was not allowed the option. Away went the narrative again — like an express train in a dark tunnel. If we now and then did emerge upon a bit of open country where we could see about us, it was to dive the next minute into some deep cutting, or some gloomy cavern, without light or intelligence. It appeared to me that Mr. Gore Hampton would be a very proper case for private assassination, but I didn't like the notion of doing it myself, and I was considerably comforted by finding that the course she had decided on, and for which she was now asking my assistance, was more pacific in character, and less dangerous. "We were to seek out the dear Princess ; she was to be at Ems on the 24th, and we were at once to throw ourselves, figuratively, into her hands, and im- plore protection. The "Monster" — the word is shorter than his name, and serves equally well — had written innumerable letters to' prejudice her against his wife, recounting the most infamous calumnies, and the most incredible accusations. These we were to refute : how, I didn't exactly know, but we were to do it. With the dear Princess on our side, the Monster would be quite powerless for further mischief, for, by some mysterious agency, it appeared that this wonderful Duchess could restore a damaged reputation, just' as formerly Kings used to cure the evU. It was a great load off my miud, Tom, to know that nothing more was expected of me. She might have wanted me to go to England, where there are two writs out against me, or to advance a sum of money for law when I haven't a sixpence for living, or, maybe, to bully somebody that wouldn't be bullied; in fact, I didn't know what impossibilities mightn't be passing through her brain, or what difficult tasks she might be inventing, as we read of in those stories where people make compacts with the DevU, and always try to pose him by the terms of the bargain. In the present instance, I certainly got off easier than I should have done with the Black Gentleman. All that was required of me was, 198 THE BOSS I'A.MILT ABEOAB. to accompany a very charming and most agreeable woman on an excur- sion of about two or three days' duration through one of the most pic- turesque parts of the Ehine country, in a comfortable town-built britschka, with every appliance of ease and luxury about it. We have an adage in Ireland, " There's worse thanthis in the North," and Mth, Tom, I couldn't help saying so. Mrs. G.'s motive in aaking my com- panionship was, to show her dear Duchess that she was domesticated, and living with a most respectable family, of which I was the head. You may laugh at the notion, Tom, but I was to be brought forward as a model " Pater iamilias," who could harbour nothing wrong, I believe I smiled myself at the character assigned. But " Isn't Life a stage? " and in nothing more so than the fact that no man can choose his part, but must just take what the great Stage Manager — Fate — assigns him ; and it is just as cruel to ridicule the failures and shortcomings we often witness in public men as to shout, in gallery- fashion, at some poor devil actor obliged to play a gentleman with broken boots and patched pantaloons. There were, indeed, two difficulties, neither of them inconsiderable, in the matter. One was, money. The journey would needs be costly. Posting abroad is, to the full, as expensive as at home. The other was, as to Mrs. Dodd. How would she take it? I was bound over in the very heaviest recognisances to secrecy. Mrs. Gr. insisted that I alone should be the depository of her secret, and she was wise there, for Mrs. D. would have revealed it to Betty Cobb before she slept. What if she should take a jealous turn ? It was true the Mary Jane affair had made her rather ashamed of herself, but time was wearing off the effect. Mrs. Q-ore Hampton was a handsome woman, and there would be a kind of eclat in such a rivalry ! I knew well, Tom, that if she once mounted tliis hobby, there was nothing could stop her. All her visions of fashionable introductions, all the bright charms of high society, to which Mrs. Gr.'s intimacy was to lead, would melt away, like a mirage, before the high wiad of her angry indignation. She would have put Mrs. Gr. in the dock, and arraigned her like any common offender. It was not without reason, then, that I dreaded such a catastrophe, and, in a kind of semi-serious, semi-jocose way, I told Mrs. Gore of my misgivings. She took it beautifully, Tom, She didn't laugh as if the thing was ridiculous, and as if the idea of Kenny Dodd performing Airruwom was a glaring absurdity. " Not at all," she gravely said ; " I have been thinking over that, and, as you remark, it w a difficulty." Shall I own to you, Tom, that the confession sent a strange thrill through THE DODB FAMILY ABEOAD. 199 me ; and, lite a man selected to lead a forlorn hope, I still felt that the choice redounded to my credit. " I think, however," said she, after a pause, " if you confided the matter to my management, if you leave me to explain to Mrs. Dodd, I shall he able, without revealing more than I wish, to satisfy her as to the object of our journey." I heartily assented to an arrangement so agreeable ; I even pro- mised not to see Mrs. D. before we started, lest any unfortunate combination of circumstances might interfere with our project. The pecumary embarrassment I communicated to Lord George. He quite agreed with me, that I couldn't possibly allude to it to Mrs. Gr. "In all likelihood," said he, '' she wiU just hand you a book of blank cheques, or Herries's circulars, and say, 'pray do me the favour to take the trouble off my hands.' It is what she usually does with any of her feiends with whom she is sufficiently intimate, for, as I told you, she is a 'perfect child about money.' " I might have told him, that so far as having very little of it, so was I too. " But supposing," said I, " that, in the bustle of departure, and in the pre-occupation of other thoughts, she shouldn't remember to' do this ; such is likely enough, you know ?" " Oh, nothiug more so," said he, laughing. " She is the most ab- sent creature in the world." " In that case," said I, " one ought to be, in a measure, prepared." " To a certain extent, assuredly," said he, coolly. " Ton might as well take something with you — a hundred pounds or so." Tou can imagine the choking gulp in my throat as I heard these words ! Why, I hadn't twenty — no, not ten ; I doubt, greatly, if I had fully five poimds in my possession. I was Kviag in the daily hope of that remittance firom you, which, by the way, seems always tardier in coming in proportion as Ireland grows more prosperous. Tiverton, however, does not limit his services to good counsel, he can act as well as think. Por a bill of three thousand francs, at thirty-one days, I received, from the landlord of the hotel, something short of a hundred Napoleons — a trifle under six hundred per cent, per annum, but, of course, not meant to run for that time. Lord George said, "Everything considered, it was reasonable enough;" and if that implied that I'd never repay a feirthing of it, perhaps he was correct. " I'm sorry," said he, " that the ' bit of stiff,' " mean- ing the bill, " wasn't for five thousand francs, for I want a trifle of cash myself, at this moment." In this regret I did not share, Tom, for I clearly saw that the additional eighty pounds would have been out of my pocket ! 200 THE DODD TAMILT ABHOAD. I have now, as briefly as I am able, but, perhaps, tediously enough, told you of all the preliminary arrangements of our journey, save one, which was three lines that, I , left for Mrs. D. before start- ing — not very explanatory, perhaps, but written in "great haste." . It was a splendid ! morning when we started. The sun was just topping the Drackenfels, and sending a perfect flood of golden glory over the Ehine, and that rich tract of yeUow com country along its left bank, the right being; still in deep. shadow. I^om the Kxeutz- berg to the . Seven Mountains, it was one gorgeous panorama, with, mountain and crag, and ruined castles, vine-clad cliffs, and plains of waving wheat, ■ all seen in the calm splendour of a stUL summer's morning. ■ I never saw anything as beautiful, perhaps! never shall again. Of my rapturous enjoyment of the scene, as we whirled along with four posters at a gallop, the best criterion I can give you is, that I totally forgot, everythirig .but the , enchanting vision around, me. Ireland,. Home, Dodsborough, Petty Sessions, . Police and Poor-rates, County, Cess, CJiajicery, aU my difiiculties, down even to Mrs. D. herself, faded away, and left me in undisturbed and unbounded enjoyment. I have often had to tell you of my disappointment with the Conti- nent; how little.it responded to my previous expectations, and how short came every trait of nationality of that strikiag effect I had. once foreshadowed. The distinctive features of race, from which I had anticipated so much amusement, all the peculiarities of dress, custom, and manner, which I had speculated on as sources of inte- rest, had either no existence whatever, or demanded a far shrewder and nicer observation than mine to detect. These have I more than once complained of to you in my letters ; and I was fast lapsing into the deep conviction that, except in being the rear-guard of civilisa- tion, and adhering to habits which have long since been superseded, by improved, and better modes with u% the Continent differs wonder- ftdly little from, England. The reason of this impression was manifestly because I was always, ia intercourse with foreigners who live and trade upon English tra- vellers, vvho make a livelihood of ministering to John Bull's national leanings in dress, cookery, and furniture ; and who, so to say, get up- a kind of artificial England abroad, where the Englishman is painfuUy reminded of all the comforts he has left behind him, without one- single opportunity for remembering the compensations he is receiving in return. To this cause is attributable, mainly, the vulgar impres- sion conveyed by a first glance at the Continent. It is a bad tra- vestie of a homely original. 1 I THE DODD TAMIXT ABEOAD. 201 "Wtat a sudden change came over me now, as we swept along througli this enchanting country, where every sight and every sound were novel and interesting. The little villages, almost escarped from the tall precipice that skirted the river, were often of Eoman origin ; old towers of brick, and battlemented walls, displaying the S. P. Q. E., those wonderful letters which, from school days to old age, call up such conceptions of this mighty people. A great waggon would draw aside to let us pass ; and its giant oxen, with their massive beams of timber on their necks, remind one of the old pictures in some illus- trated edition of the " Georgics." The splash of oars, and the loud shouts of men, turn your eyes to the Elune, and it is a raft, whole acres of timber, slowly floating along, the evidence of some primeval pine forest, hundreds of miles away, where the night winds used to sigh in the days of the Cffisars. And now every head is bare, and every knee is bowed, for a procession moves past, on its way to some holy shrine, the zig-zag path to which, up the mountain, is traceable by the white line of peasant girls, whose voices are floating down in mellow chorus. Oh, Tom ! the whole scene was full of enchant- ment, and didn't require the consciousness that would haunt me to make it a vision of perfect enjoyment. Tou ask what was that same consciousness I allude to ? Neither more or less, my dear friend, than the little whisper within me, that said, " Kenny Dodd, where are you going, and for what ? Is it Mrs. D. is sitting beside you? or are you quite sure it's not some other man's wife ?" Tou'U say, perhaps, these were rather disturbing reflections, and so they would have been, had they ever got that far ; but as mere flitting fancies, as passing shadows over the mind, they heightened the enjoyment of the moment by some strange and mysterious agency, which I am quite unable to explain, but which, I believe, is referable to the same category as the French Duchess's regret — " That iced water wasn't a siu, or it would be the greatest delight of existence." If my conscience had been unmannerly enough to say, "Ain't you doing wrong, Kenny Dodd," I'm afraid I'd have said " Yes," vrith a chuckle of satisfaction. I'm afraid, my dear Tom, that the human heart, at least, in the Irish version, is a very incomprehensible volume. Let us strive to be good as much as we may, there is a secret sense ■ of pleasure in doing wrong, that shows what a hold wickedness has of us. I believe, we flatter ourselves, that we are cheating the Devil all the while, because we intend to do right at last, but the danger is, 202 THE DODD TAMILT ABBOAD. that the game comes to an end before we suspect, and there we are, " cleaned out," and our hand full of trumps ! Tou'U say, " Wliat has all this to say to the Ehine, or Mrs. Gktre Hampton?" Nothing whatever. It only shows, that, like the Ee- flections on a Broomstiek, that your poiid; of departure bears no re- lation to the goal of your voyage. " What's the name of this village, Mr. Dodd 2" whispers a soft voice from the deep recess of the britschta. " This is Andemach, Madam," said I, opening my " John," for I find there's no doing without him. "It is one of the most ancient cities of the Ehine. It was called by the Eomans " " Never miad what it was called by the Eomans, ' isn't there a legend about this ancient castle ?' To be sure there is, pray find it." And I go on mumbling about Drusus and Eoman camps, and vaulted portals. " Oh, it's not that !" cries she, laughing. " There are two articles of traffic peculiar to this spot. Mill- stones " She puts her hand on my Ups here, and I am unable to continue my reading, while she goes on : "I remember the leg^ui now. It was a certain Siegfried, the Count Palatine of the Ehine, who, on his return from the Crusades, was persuaded by slanderous tongues to believe his wife had been faithless to him." " The wretch ; the Count I mean." " So he was. He drove her out a wanderer upon the wide world, and she fled across the Ehine into that mountain country you see yonder, which; then, as now, was all impenetrable forest. There she passed years and yeaus of solitary existence; unknown and friendless. There were no Mr. Dodds in those days, or, at least, she had not the good fortune to meet with them." I sigh deeply, under the influence of such a glance, Tom, and she resumes : " At last, one day, when fatigued with the chase, and separated from his companions, the cruel Count throws himself down to rest beside a fountain : a lovely creature, attired gracefiilly, but strangely, in the skins of wild beasts — — " " She didn't kiU them, herself?" said I, interrupting. "How absurd you are ; of course she didn't ;" and she draws her own ermine mantle across her as she speaks^ smoothing the soft fiir with her softer hand. " The Count starts to his feet, and recognises her in a moment, and, at the same instant, too, he is so struck by the manifest protection Providence has vouchsafed her, that he listens to THE DODD EAMILT ABBOAD. 203 her tale of juBtification, and conducts her in triumpli, home — Ma in- jured, but adored wife. I think, really, people were better formerly than they are now — more forgiving, or rather,- 1 mean, more open to truth and its generous impulses." " Paith, I can't say," repKed I, pondering ; " the skins may have had something to say to it." Here she bursts into such a fit of laughter that I join from sheer sympathy with the sound, but not guessing ia the least why, or at what. "We soon left Andernach behind us, and rolled along beside the sapid Ehine, on a beautiful road almost level with the river, which now, for some miles, becomes less bold and picturesque. At last we arrived at Coblentz to dinner, stopping at a capital inn called the " Giant," after which we strolled through the town to stare at the shops and the quaintly-dressed peasant girls, whose em- broidered head-gear, a kind of velvet cap worked in gold or silver, so pleased Mrs. G-., that we bought three or four of them, as well as several 'of those curiously-wrought silver daggers which they wear slnck through their back hair. I soon discovered that my fair friend was a " Child " about other things besides "money." Jewellery was one of these, and for which she seemed to have the most insatiable desire, combined with a most jjivenUe indifference as to cost. The country girls wear massive gold earrings of the strangest fashion, and nothing would content her but buying several sets of these. Then she took a £mcy to their gold chains and rosaries, and, lastly, to their uncouth shoe-bucMes, all of which, she assured me, would be priceless in a fe,ney dress. In fact, my dear Tom, these minor preparations of hers, to resemble a Ehine-land peasant, came to a little over seventeen pounds sterling, and suggested to me, more than once, the secret wish that our excur- sion had been through Ireland, where the habits of the natives could have been counterfeited at considerably less cost. As " we were in for it," however, I bore myself as gallantly as might be, and pressed several trifling articles on her acceptance, but she tossed them over contemptuously, and merely said, "Oh, we shall find all these things so much better at Ems. They have such a Eazaar there !" an announcement that gave me a cold shudder from head to foot. After taking our coffee, we resumed our jouicney. Ems being only distant some eleven or twelve miles, and, I must say, a drive of unequalled beauty. Once more on the road, Mrs. Gr. became more charming and de- lightful than ever. The romantic glen, through which we journeyed, suggested much material for conversation, and she was legendary and 204 THE DODD FAMILT ABBOAJ). lyrical, plaintive and merry by turns, now recounting some story of tragic history, now remembering some little incident of modem fashionable life, but all, no matter what the theme, touched with a grace and delicacy quite her own. In a little silence that followed one of these charming sallies, I noticed that she smiled as if at some- thing passing in her own thoughts. " Shall I teU you what I was thinking of?" said she, still smiUng. " By all means," said I ; " it is a pleasant thought, so pray let me share in it." " I'm not quite so certain of that," said she. "It is rather puz- zling than pleasant. It is simply this : ' Here we are now within a mile of Ems. It is one of the most gossiping places in Europe. How shall we announce otirselves in the Strangers' List ?' " The difficulty had never occurred to me before, Tom ; nor, indeed, did I very clearly appreciate it even now. I thought that the name of Kenny Dodd would have sufficed for me, and I saw no reason why Mrs. Grore Hampton should not have been satisfied with her own appellation. "I knew," said she, laughing, "that you never gave this a thought. Isn't that so ?" I had to confess she was quite correct, and she went on. " Adolphus "-^this was the familiar for Mr. Gore Hampton — " is so well known that you coiddn't possibly pass for him ; besides, he is very taU, and wears large moustaches, the largest, I think, in the Blues." "That's clean out of the question, then," said I, stroking my smooth chin in utter despair. " You're very like Lord Harvey Brooke, couldn't you be him ?" " I'm afraid not ; my passport calls me Kenny James Dodd." " But Lord Harvey is a kind of relative of mine ; his mother was a Gore ; I'm sure you could be him." I shook my head despondingly ; but somehow, whenever a sudden- fancy strikes her, the impulse to yield to it seems perfectly irre- sistible. " It's an excellent idea," continued she, "andaUyou have to do is to write the name boldly in the Travellers' book, and say your pass- port is coming with one of your people." " But he might be here ?" " Oh, he's not here ; he coiddn't be here ; I should have heard of it if he were here." " There may be several who know him personally here." " There need be no difficulty about that," replied she ; " you have only to feign illness, and keep your room. I'll take every precaution THE BODD TAMILT ABEOAD. 205 to sustain the deception. Tou stall have everything in the way of comfort, but no visitors — not one." I was thunderstruck, Tom ! the notion of coming away from home, leaving iny family, and braving Mrs. D., all that I might go to bed at Ems, and partake of low diet under a fictitious title, actually over- whelmed me. I thought to myself, this is a hazardous exploit of mine ; it may be a costly one too ; at the rate we are traveUing, money flies like chafi", but, at least, I shall have something for it. I shall see fashionable Ufe under the most favourable auspices. I shall dine in pubHc with my beautiful traveUing companion. I shall accompany her to the Cursaal, to the Promenade, to the Play- tables. I shall eat ice with her under the "Liadens," in the " AUee." I shall be envied and hated by aU the puppy population of the Baths, and feel myself glorious, conquering, and triumphant. These, and similar, had been my sustaining reflections, under aU the adverse pressure of home thoughts. These had been my compensa- tion for the terrors that assuredly loomed in the distance. But now, instead of the realisation, I was to seek my consolation in a darkened room, with old newspapers and water gruel ! Anger and indignation rendered me almost speechless. " "Was it for this ?" I exclaimed twice or thrice, without being able to finish my sentence ; and she gently drew her hand within my arm, and, in the tenderest of accents, stopped me, and said, " No ; not for this !" Ah, Tom! you know what we used to hear in the "Beggar's Opera," long ago. " 'Tis women that seduces all mankind." I sup- pose it's true. I suppose that if. nature has made us physically strong, she has made us morally weak. I wanted to be resolute ; injured, and indignant, I did my best to feel outraged, but it wouldn't .do. The touch of three taper fingers of an ungloved hand, the silvery sounds of a soft voice, and the ten- derly reproachful glance of a pair of dark blue eyes, routed aU my resolves, and I was half ashamed of myself for needing even such gentle reproof. ]?rom that moment I was her slave ; she might have sent me to a plantation, or sold me in a market-place, resistance, on my part, was out of the question ; and isn't this a pretty confession for the father of a family, and the husband of Mrs. D. ? not but, if I had time, I could explain the problem, in a non-natural sense, as the fashionable phrase has it, or even go further, and justify my divided allegiance, like one of our own bishops, showing the difference between submis- sion to constituted authority, and fidelity to matters of faith — Mrs. D. standing to represent Queen Victoria, and Mrs. Grore Hampton, Pope Pius the Ninth ! 206 THE DOBD FAMILY ABEOAD. These thdiugiits didn't occur to me at once, Tom ; they were the fruit of many a long hoiir of self-examination and a?eflection as l lay alone in my silent chamher, thinking over all the singular things that have occanred to me in Hie, the strange situations I have occupied, and of this, I o-wn,-the very strangest of all. It must be a dreadful thiag to be really sick in one of these places. There seems to be no such thing as night, at least as a season of re- pose. The same clatter of plates, knives, and glasses, goes on ; the same ringing of bells, and scuffling sounds of running feet ; waltzes and polkas ; waggons and mule carts ; donkeys and hurdy-gurdies ; whistling waiters and small puppies, with a weak falsetto, infest the air, and make up a din that would addle the spirits of Pandemonium. Hour after hour had I to lie listening to these, taking out my wrath in curses upon Straus and late suppers, and anathema- tising the whole family of opera writers, who have nnquestionably (ttiginated the bleating performances of every late bed-goer. Not a wretch toiled up-stairs, at four in the morning, without yelling out " Casta Diva," or " Gib, mir wein." The half-tipsy ones were usually sentimental, and hiccupped the " Tu che al cielo," out of the " Lucia." To these succeeded the laite sitters at the play tables — a race who, to their honour be it recorded, never sing. Gambling is a grave passion, and, whether a man win or lose, it takes all fun out of him. A deep-muttered malediction upon bad luck — a false oath to play no more — a hearty curse against Portune — were the only soUloquies of these the last votaries of Pleasure that now sought their beds as day was breaking. Have you ever stopped your ears, Tom, and looked at a room-full of people dancing? The effect is very curious. What was so graceful but a moment back is now only grotesque. The plastie elegance of gesture becomes downright absurdity. She who tripped with such Fairy-like lightness, or that other who floated with Swan- like dignity, now seem to move without purpose, and, stranger atiU, without grace. It was the measure which gave the soul to the per- formance — ^it was that mystic accord, like what binds mind to matter, that gave the wondrous charm to the v?liole : divested of this it was like motion without vitality — abrupt, meehanical, convulsive. Exactly the same kind of effect is produced by witnessing fashionable amuse- ments, with a spirit untuned to pleasure. Tou know nothing of their motives, nor incentives to enjoyment ; you are not admitted to any participation in' their plan or their object, and to yowr eyes it is all " Dancing without Music." v^ ^ THE DODD FAMILY ABBOAS. 207 I need not dwell on a tiresome theme, for sucli would be any description of my life at Ems. Of my lovely companion I saw but little. About mid-day ber maid would bring me a few lines, written in pencil, witb kind inquiries after me. Later on I could detect the silvery music of ber voice, as sbe issued fortb to her afternoon drive. Later again I could hear ber, as she paBSed along the corridor to her room ; and then, as night wore on, she would sometimes come to my door to say a few words, very iiad ones, and in ber own softest manner, but of which. I sxaoli recal nothing, so occupied was I.'witb observing her in all the splendour of evening dsese. When a bright object of this kind passes from your presence, "there Btfll Ungers for a second or fio a species of twilight, after which comes the black and stairless, night, of deep despondency;- Oiit of these dreamy delusive fits of low ispirits I used to start with the sudden question — Wha.t are you doing here, Kenny Dodd ? Is it the father of a family ought to be living ia this fashion ? What tomfoolery is this ? Is this kiad of life instructive, inteUeetual^ or even amusing ? Is it respectable ? I am not eertaia it is any ,one of the four. How long is it to continue, or where is it to end ? Am I to go down to the grave under a false naine, and arte the Podd fftmiily to pat on mourning for Lord Harvey Brooke ? One night th^fc these thoughts had carried me to a high pitch of MLcitement, I was walking hurriedly to and fro in my room inveigh- ing against the absurd folly which originally had embarked vbb on this journey. Anger had so far mastered my reason that I b'^gan to doubt everything, and everybody. I grew sceptical that there were eueh people in the world as Mr. Gore Hampton or Lord Harvey. Brooke, and in my heart I utterly rejected the existence of the "Princess." Up. to this moment. I had contented myself with haifitSg, her, as the first cause of aE my calamities, but now, I denied her a reality and a being. I didn't at first perceive what would come of my thus disturbing a great foimdation-stone, and how in- evitably the whole edifice woiild come tumblujg. down about my ears in consequence. OMs terrible truth, however, now stared me in the iace,, and I sat down to consider it with a trembling spirit. " May I c6me in?" whispered a low but weli-known voice. " May I come in ?" My first thoughts were to affect sleep, and not answer, but I saw that there was an eagerness in the manner that would not brook denial, and answered, "Who's there ?" " It is I, my dear friend," said Mrs. Gore Hampton, entering, and 208 THE DODD TAMIIT ABEOAB. closing the door behind her. She came forward to where I was sitting despondingly on the side of the bed, and took a chair in front of me. "What's the matter; you are surely not ill in reality ?" asked she, tenderly. " I believe I am ; " replied I. " They say in Ireland ' mocking is catching,' and faith, I half suspect I'm going to pay the price of my own deceitfulness." "Oh! no, no ! you only say that to alarm me. Tou will be per- fectly weU. when you leave this ; the confinement disagrees with you." " I think it does," said I ; " but when are we to go ?" > " Immediately ; to-night, if possible. I have just received a few lines from the dear Princess " " Oh, the Princess !" ejaculated I, with a faint groan. " Why ; what do you mean ?" asked she, eagerly. " Oh, nothing; go on." " But, first tell me, what made you sigh so when I spoke of the Princess ?" - " Grod knows," said I ; " I believe my head was wandering." " Poor, dear head," said she, patting me as if I was a small King Charles's spaniel, " it will be better in the fresh air." " The Princess writes to say that we must meet her at Eisenach, since she finds herself too ill to come on here. She urges us to lose no time about it, because the Empress Sophia wiU be on a visit with her in a few days, which of course would interfere with our seeing her frequently. The letter should have been here yesterday, but she gave it to the Archduke Nicholas, and he only remembered it when he was walking with me this evening." These high and mighty names only made me sigh heartily, and she seemed at once to read all that was passing within me. " I see what it is," said she, with deep emotion ; " you are growing weary of me. Tou are beginning to regret the noble chivalry — the generous devotion you had shown me. Tou are asking yourself, ' What am I to her ? Why should she cling to me .<" Cruel ques- tion — of a still more cruel answer ! " But go, Sir, return to your family, and leave me if you wiU to those heartless courtiers who mete out their sympathies by a Sove- reign's smiles, and only bestow their pity when Eoyalty commands it ; and yet, before we part for ever, let me here, on my bended knees, thank and bless " I can't do it, Tom ; I can't write it. I find I am blubbering away just as badly as when the scene occurred. THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAD. 209 Blue eyes lialf swimming in tears, silky-brown ringlets, and a voice broken by sobs, are shamefully unfair odds against an Irish gentle- man on the shady side of fifty-two or three. It's aU very weU for you — sitting quietly at your turf fire — with an old sleepy spaniel snoring on the hearth-rug, and nothing younger in the house than Mrs. Shea, your late wife's aunt — to talk about " My time of life " — " Grown-up daughters " — and so on. " He scofis at wounds who never felt a scar." The fact is, I'm not a bit more sus- ceptible than other people ; I even think I am less yielding — less- open to soft influences than many of my acquaintances. I can answer for it, I never found that the strongest persuasions of a tax- gatherer disposed me to look favourably on " County Cess, or a Eate- in-Aid." Even the Priest acknowledges me a tough subject on the score of Easter dues and offerings. If I know anything about my own nature, it is that I have rather a casuistic, hair-splitting kind of way with me — the very reverse of your soft, submissive, easily- seduced fellows. I was always known as the obstinate juryman in our assizes, that preferred starvation and a cart to a ghb verdict, like the others. I am not sure that anybody ever found it an easy task to convince me about anything, except, perhaps, Mrs. D., and'! then, Tom, it was not precisely " conviction " — that was some- thing else. I think I have now made out a sufficient defence of myself, and' I'll not make the lawyer's blunder of proving too much. Give me the same latitude that is always conceded to great men when their actions wiU not square with their previous sentiments. Think of the- Duke and Sir Robert, and be merciful to Kenny Dodd. "We left Ems, like a thief, in the night ; the robbery, however, was; performed by the landlord, whose bill for five days amounted to up- wards of twenty-seven pounds sterling. Whether Gregoire and MdUe. Virginie drank aU the champagne set down in it I cannot say, but if so, they could never have been sober since their arrival. There are some other curious items too, such as Maraschino and Eau de Dantzic, and a large assessment for "real Havannahs!" Wha sipped and smoked the above is more than I know. With regard to out-of-door amusements, Mrs. G. must have- ridden, at the least, four donkeys daily, not to speak of carriages, and a sort of sedan chair for the evening. I assure you I left the place -with a heart even lighter than my purse. I was falling into a very alarming kind of melancholy, and couldn't much longer have answered for my actions. 210 THE BODD FAMILT ABEOAD. If we loitered inactively at^Ems, we cerbainly suffered no grass to grow under our feet now. Four horses on the level, six when the road was heavy or newly gravelled ; bulls at aU the lulls. It's truth I'm teUing you, Tom, for a light London hritschka, the usual team on a rising ground was six horses and three oxen, with ahout two men per quadruped — boys and beggars ai lihitwn. I laughed heartily at it, till it came to paying for them, after which it became one of the worst jokes you can imagine. Onward we went, however, ia one fashion or another, walking to " blow the cattle " when the road was level and smooth, and keeping a very pretty hunting pace when the ruts were deep, and the rocks rugged. It seemed, to judge from our speed, that our haste was most immi- nent, for we changed horses at every station with an attempt at despatch, that greatly disconcerted the post functionaries, and pro- bably suggested to them grievous doubts about our respectability. After twenty-four hours of this jolting process, I was, as you may suppose, weU wearied — the more so, since my late confinement to bed had made me weak and irritable. Mrs. Gr., however, seemed to think nothing of it, so that for very shame sake I could not com- plain. There is either a greater fimd of endurance about women than in men, or else they have a stronger and more impulsive wiU, overcoming aU obstacles in its way, or regarding them as nothing. I assure you, Tom, I'd have pulled up short at any of the villages we passed through and booked myself for a ten-hours' sleep, in that horizontal position that Nature intended, but she wouldn't hear of it. "We must get on, dear Mr. Dodd;" " You know how important time is to us ;" " Do our best, and we shall be late enough." These and such like were the propositions which I had to assent to, without the very vaguest conception why. That night seemed to me as if it would never end. I never could close my eyes without dreaming of bailiffs, writs, judges' warrants, and Mrs. D. Then I got the notion into my head that I had been sentenced for some crime or other to everlasting travelling — an im- pression, doubtless, suggested by my hearing through my sleep, how we were constantly crossing some frontier, and entering a new terri- tory. Now, it was Hesse Cassel would pry into our portmanteaus, now, it was Bavaria wanted to peep at our passports. Sigmaringhen insisted on seeing that we had no concealed fire-arms. Hoch Heck- inghen searched us for smuggled tobacco. Erom a deep doze, which to my ineffable shame I discovered I had been taking on my fair com- panion's shoulder, I was suddenly awakened at daybreak by the roll THE DODD TAMILT ABEOAD, 211 of a drum, and the clatter of presenting arms. Tliis was a place called Heinfeld, in the Duchy of Saxe "Weimar, where the Commandant, supposing us to be Boyal personages, from our six horses and .mounted Courier, turned out the guard to salute us. I gave him briefly to understand that we were incog., and we passed on without further molestation. By noon we reached Eisenach, where, descending at the " Eauten- kranz," the head inn, I bolted my door, and, throwing myself on my bed, slept till far into the night. When I awoke, the house was all at rest, every one had retired, and in this solitude did I begin the recital of the singular page in my history, which is now before you. I felt, like one of those storm-tossed mariners, who, on some un- known and distant ocean, commit their sorrows to paper, and then enclosing it in a bottle, leave the address to Portune. I know not if these lines are ever to reach you. I know not who may read them. Perhaps, like Perouse, my fate may be a mystery for future ages. I feel altogether very low about myself. I was obliged to break off suddenly above, but I am now better. "We have been two days here, and I like the place greatly. It lies in the midst of a fine mountain range — the Thuringians — ^with a deep forest on every side^ Up to this we have had no tidings of the Princess, but we pass our time agreeably enough in visiting the remarkable objects in the neighbourhood, one of which is the Wart- burg, where Luther passed a year of imprisonment. I have collected some curious materials about the life of this Protestant champion for Father Maher, which wiU, make a consi- derable sensation at home. There is an armoury, too, in the Castle of the most interesting kind, but, as usual, all the remarkable warriors were little fellows. The robbers of antiquity were big, but the great characters of chivalry, I remark, were small. The Con- stable de Bourbon's armour wouldn't fit Kenny Dodd. I intend to send off this package to-day by a " gentleman of the Jewish persuasion," so he styles himself, who is travelling "in the interest of soft soap," and will be in England within a fortnight. Where I shall be myself, by that time, Tom, Heaven alone can tell! My cash is running very low. I don't think that, above my law- ful debts in this place, I could muster twelve pounds, and, after a careful exploration of the localty, I see no spot at aU likely to " advance money on good personal security." Tou must immediately remit me a hundred, or a hundred and fifty for present emergencies. j2 212 THE BOBD FAMILY ABEOAB. My humiliation will be terrible if I have to speak about peeuniaiy matters in a certain quarter ; and, as I said before, how long we may- remain here, or where proceed when we leave this, I know as much as you do ! I have begun four letters to Mrs. D., but have not satisfied myself that I am on the right tack in any of them, Writing home when you have not heard from it, is like legislation for a distant colony without any clue to the state of public opinion. . Tou may be trying- rigorous measures -with a people ripe for rebellion, or, perhaps, re- fusing some concession that they have just wrested by force. "When I think of domestic matters, I am strongly reminded of the Caflfre -war, for somehow, afiairs never look so badly as when they seem to promise a peace ; and, like Sandilli, Mrs. D. is great at an ambush. ■ Tou must -write to her, Tom ; say that T am greatly distressed at not getting any answers to my letters ; that I -wrote four ; which is true, though I never sent off any of them. Make a plausible case for my absence out of the present materials, and speak alarmingly about my health, for she knows I have sold my poHcy of insurance at the Phoenix, and is really uneasy when I look iU. If I wasn't in such a mess I should be distressed about the family, for I left them at Bonn with a mere trifle. When a man has got an incurable malady he spends little money on doctoring, and so there is nothing saves fretting so much, as being irretrievably ruined. Besides, it is in the world as in the water, it is struggling that drowns you ; lie quietly dovm on your back, don't stir hand or limb, and somebody -wOl be sure to pull you out, though it may chance to be by the hair. I have often thought, Tom, that life is like the game of chess. It's a fine thing to have the " move," if you play well, but if you don't, take my word for it it's better to stay quiet, and not budge. This -will give you the key to my system ; and if I ever get into public life, this, I assure you, shall be "Dodd's Parliamentary Guide." I have now done, and you'U say it's time too ; but let me tell you, Tom, that, when I seal and send off this, I'U feel myself very lonely and miserable. It was a comfort to me some days back to go every now and then and dot do-wn a line or two ; it kept me from thinking, which was a great blessing. You know how G-ibbon felt when he wrote the last sentence of his great history ; and, although the Eise and Fall of Kenny Dodd be a small matter to posterity, it has a great hold upon his own affections. I see my pony at the door, and Mrs. G-. is abeady mounted. We are going to some old abbey in the forest, where she is to sketch, and THE BODD FAMILY ABEOAD. 213 I am to smoke for an hour or two ; 8o good-by, and remember that my escape from this must depend upon your assistance. This Princess has not yet made her appearance, nor have I the slightest guide as to her future intentions. There are a quantity of home questions I am anxious to speak about, but must defer the discussion tUl my next. I haye not seen a newspaper since I started on this excursion. I know not who is " in " or " out." I shall learn all these things later on, so once more, good-by. Address me at the "Eue Garland," and believe me, faithfully, your friend, Kennx J. DODD. P.S. "When you mention to the neighbours having heard from me, it would be as well to say nothing of this little adventure of mine. Say that the Dodds are all well, and enjoying themselves, or some- thing like that. If Mrs. D. has written to old MoUy, try and get hold of the epistle, or otherwise I might as well be in the " Hue and Cry." Indeed, I don't see why you couldn't stop her letters at the post-office in Bruif. LETTEE XXIII. MRS. DODD TO MISTKESS MARY GALLAGHER, DODSBOROUGH. Cour de Bade, Baden-Baden. Mt deae Molly, It wUl be iive weeks on Tuesday next since we saw K. I., and except a bit of a note, of which I'll speak presently, never any tidings of him has reached us ! I suppose within the memory of man, wick- edness equal to this has not been heard of To go and disgrace himself, and, what's more, disgrace us at his time of life, with two daughters grown up, and a son just going into the world, is a depth of baseness to which the mind cannot ascend. They're away in Germany, my dear, the happy pair ! I wish I was near him ! I'd only ask to be for five minutes within reach of: him. Eaith, I don't think he'd be so seductive and captivating for 214 THE DODD SAMILT ABEOAI. a little time to come. They're off, I tear, to wbat they call the " Hearts Forest ;" a place, I take from the name, to be the favourite resort of loTing couples. From the first day, Molly, I suspected ■what was coraiag, for though James and Mary Anne persisted in saying that he was only gone for a day or two, I went to his drawers and saw that he had taken every stitch of his clothes that was good for anythiug away with him. If he's only gone for two days, says I, what does he want with foiirteen shirts, and four embroidered fronts for dress, not to speak of his new black suit and his undress Deputy-Lieutenant's coat? I tossed and tumbled over everything, and sure enough there was little left to look at. So you see, Molly, it was all planned before, and the whole was arranged with a cold-blooded duplicity that makes me boU to think over. This wasn't all, either ; but he must go and draw a bill on the Landlord for a hundred and twenty pounds ; and, without the slightest attention to all that we owed in the Hotel, or even leaving us a sixpence, away goes my gallant Lutherian, only thinking of love and pleasure ! The half of the M'Carthy legacy is gone already to meet these demands, and enable us to come on here ; and even with that I couldn't have done it, if it hadn't been for Lord George's kindness, for he knows so much about Bills, and Bankers, and when the Ex- change is good, and what is the favourable moment to draw upon London, that, as he says himself, one learns at last to " make a pound go as far as five." As to staying any longer at Bonn, it was out of the question. The whole town was talking of K. I., and everybody used to stop us and ask, with a mournful voice, if we hadn't got any tidings of Mr. Dodd ? And now we're here, I must say it is a charming place ; and for real life and enjoyment, there's probably not its equal in Europe. And then, Molly, the great feature is certainly the universal kindness and charity that prevails. Ton may do what you like, wear what you like, go where you like. I was a little bit afraid at first that the story of K. I. would get abroad, and damage us in society ; but Lord George said, " Tou mistake Baden, my dear Mrs. Dodd. If there's anything they're peculiarly lenient to, it's just that. There's no cant, no hypocrisy here ; nobody would endure such, for an hour. Everybody knows that the world is not peopled with Angels, and England is the only country where they affect that delusion. Here, all are natural, sincere, and candid." These were his words, and I assure you they are no more than the truth ; and so far from K. I.'s THE DODD PAMILT ABROAD. 215 conduct being regarded in any spirit of unfairness towards us, I really beKeve that we have met a great deal of delicate and refined notice on account of it. As Lord G-. remarks, "They know that you don't belong to that strait-laced set of humbugs that want to frown down all mankind. They see at once that you have the habits of the world, and the instincts of good society, and that you come amongst them neither to criticise nor censure, but to please and be pleased." I quote his very expressions, MoUy, because, with all his wUdness, his sentiments are invariably beautiful ; and I must say, that an iU-natured word never comes out of his mouth. If there's amything he excels in, too, it's tact. This he showed very remark- ably, when we arrived here. " We must do the thing handsomely," said he, " or we shall be sure to hear that Mr. D.'s absence is owing to pecuniary difficulties." And so accordingly he arranged to pur- chase a beautiful pair of grey ponies, and a small park phaeton, belonging to a young Russian, that was just ruined at the tables. "We got the whole equipage for little more than half what it cost, and a tiger — as they call the little boy in buttons— goes with it. "We have taken the first apartment in the " Cour de Badp," and have put Paddy B3rme in a suit of green and gold, that always re- minds me of poor Daniel O'ConneU. Lord Or. drives me out every day himself, and I hear all the passers-by say it's " Tiverton and Mrs. Dodd," in a manner that shows we're as well loiown as the first people in the place. He is acquainted with every man, woman, and child, in the town ; and it is a perpetual " How are ye, Tiverton ?" — "How goes it, George?" — "At the old trade, eh?" — as we drive along, that amuses me greatly. And it isn't only that he knows them personally, but he is familiar with all their private histories. It would fiU a book — and a nice volume it would be ! — ^if I were to teU you one-half of the stories he told me yesterday, going down to Lichtenthal. But the names is so confusing. How he remembers them aU, I can't conceive. We go to the rooms in the evening, fiill dressed, and as fine as you please ; and if you saw how the company rises to meet us, and the gracious manner we are received by all the first people, you'd think we were sisters with half the room. For rank, wealth, and beauty, I never saw its equal; and the " tone," as Lord Gr. observes, is " so easy." Mary Anne usually dances aU night, but. J only stand up for a Quadrille, though Lord Grsorge torments me to Polka with him. As for James, he never quits the roulette- table, which is a kind of game where you always win thirty-six times as much as you put down, though maybe occasionally you lose your stake, for it's all 216 THE DODD FAMILY AEBOAB. chance,, Molly, and, like everything else ia this wicked world, in. the hands of Fate ! I'm afraid James doesn't understand the game, or forgets to take ■up his winnings, for when he joins us at supper he looks depressed and careworn, till he has taken two or three glasses of champagne. Caroline, as you may suppose, stays moping at home. If there's anything distresses me more than another, it's the way that girl goes on. Here we are, in the very thick of the fashion, spending money — as fast as hops — ruining ourselves, I may say, with expense ; and in- stead of taking the benefit of it while "it's going," she sits up in her room reading her eyes out of her head, and studying things that no woman need know. As I say to her, " What good is it to you ? Will it ever get you a husband, to Imow that Sir Humphrey Clinker invented the safety lamp ? or do you suppose that any man wiU take a fancy to you for the sake of your chemistry and eccentricity ? • Be- sides," says I, "you could do all this at home, in Dodsborough, and who knows if we shouldn't be obliged to go back and finish our days in Ireland!" And in my heart and soul I believe it's what she'd like ! The real affliction in life is to see your children not take after you ! That is the most dreadful calamity of all. Ton toil and you slave to bring them up with high notions, to teach them to look down upon whatever is low and mean, to avoid their poor relations, and whatever disgraces them, and you find, the whole time, that 'tis looking back they are to their humble origin, and fancying that they were happier, . for no other reason than because they were lower ! It is, maybe, the M'Cafthy blood in me, but I feel as if the higher I went the lighter I grew, and so it is, I'm sure, with Mary Anne. I know, from her face across theroom, whether she's dancing with a "Prince," or only, "a Gentleman from the United States!" And «ven in the matter of looks it makes the greatest difference in her. In the one case, her eyes sparkle, her head is thrown back, her cheek glows with animation; while in the other, she seems half asleep, dances out of time, and probably answers out of place. TromaU these facts, I gather, Molly, that there's nothing so ele- vating to the mind as moving in a rank above your own ; and I'm sure, I don't forgive myself when I keep company with my equals. I believe James has Iqss of the Dodd and more of the M'Carthy in him, than the girls. He takes to the aristocracy so naturally— calls them by their names, and makes free with them in a way that is really beautiful, and they call him " Jim," or some of them say " Jeemes," just as familiar as himself. I suppose it's no use repining. THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAD. 217 but I often feel, Molly, that if it was the Lord's wiE that I was to be left a widow, I'd see my children high in the world before long. This reminds me of K. I., and here's his letter for you. I copy it word for word, without note or comma : "Dbae Jemi, " "We are waiting here for the Princess, who has not yet arrived, . but is expected to-day, or to-morrow at furthest. Tou will be sorry to hear that I was ill and confined for more than a week to my bed at Ems." Will I indeed? " It was a kind of a low fever." I read it a love fever, MoUy, when I saw it first. " But I am now much better." Tou never were worse in your life, you old hypocrite, thinks I. " And am able to take a little exercise on horseback. " The expense of this journey, unavoidable as it was ! is very con- siderable, so that I reckon upon your practising the strictest economy during my absence." I thought I'd choke, MoUy, when I seen this. Just think of the daring impudence of the man telling me that while he is lavishing hundreds on his vices and wickedness, that the family is to starve to enable him to bear the expense. " The strictest economy during my absence." I wish I was near you when you wrote it ! Then comes in some balderdash about the scenery, and the place they're at, just as coolly described as if it was talking of Bruff, or the neighbourhood ; the whole winding up with, " Mrs. Gr. H. desires me to convey her tender regards ' ' — ^what she can spare, I suppose, without robbing him — " to you and the girls. No time for more, from yoiu?s, sincerely, " Kenny James Dodd." There's an epistle for you ! Tou'U not find the hke of it in the " Polite Letter "Writer," I'U wager. The father of a family, and such a family too, discoursing as easily about the height of iniquity as if he was aUuding to the state of the weather, or the price of sheep at the last fair. He flatters himself, maybe, that this free-and-easy way is the best to bamboozle me, and that by seeming to make nothing of it, I'll take the same view as himself. Is that all that he knows of me yet ? Did he ever succeed in deceiving me, dming thelast'seven- teen years ? Didn't I find him out in twenty things, when he didn't know himself of his own depravity? I tell you in confidence, Molly, that if coming abroad is an elegant thing for our sex, it's downright ruin to men of K. I.'s time of life ! When they come to fifty, or there- abouts, in Ireland, they settle down to something respectable, either 218 THE DODD FAMIIT ABEOAB. on the BencTi, or Guardians to the Union. Their thoughts runs upon green crops and draining, and how to raise a trifle, by way of loan, from the Board of Works. But not having these things, abroad, to engage them, they take to smartening themselves up with poUshed boots and blackened whiskers, and what between pinching here, and padding there, they get the notion that they're just what they were thirty years ago! Oh, dear! oh, dear! sure they've only to go up-stairs a little quick, to stoop to pick up a handkerchief, or button a boot, to detect the mistake, and if that won't do, let them try a Polka with a young lady just out for her first season ! Of all the old fools, in this fashion, I never met a worse than K. I. ! and what adds to the disgrace, he knows it himself, and he goes on saying, " Sure I'm too old for this," or " I'm past that ;" and I always chime in with, " Of course you are ; you'd cut a nice figure ;" and so on. But what's the use of it, MoUy ? Their vanity and conceit sus- tains them against all the snubs in the world, and tiU they come down to a Bath-chair, they never believe that they can't dance a hornpipe ! I could say a great deal more on this subject, but I must turn to other things. Tou must see PurceU and teU him the way we're left, without a fraction of money, nor knowing where to get it. TeU him that I wrote to Waters about a separation, which I would, only that K. I.'s afiairs is in such a state, I'd have to put up with a mere trifle. Say that I'm going to expose him in the newspapers, and there's " no knowing where I'll stop," for that's exactly the kind of threat Tom Purcell wDl be frightened at. Geb him to send me a remittance immediately, and describe our distress and destitution as touchingly as you can. Here's more of it, MoUy. James has just come in to say that the Ministry is out in England, and that the new Grovemment is giving everything away to the Irish, and that old villain, K. I., not on the spot to ask for a place ! James tells me, it's the Brigade is to have the best things ; but I don't remember if K. I. belongs to it, though I know he's in the Teomanry. Prom Lord-Lieutenant down to the letter-carriers, they must be all Irish now, James says. We're to have Ireland for ourselves and as much of England as we can, for we'll never rest till we get perfect equality, and I must say it's time, too! K. I. isn't fit for much, but maybe he might get something. The Treasury is where he'd like to be, but I'm not certain it would suit him. At all events, he's not to the fore, and I don't think they'll send to look for him, as they did for Sir Eobert Peel ! Till we know, THE DODD EAMILT ABEOAJ). 219 however, whether he has a chance of anything, it would be better to keep his present conduct a profound secret, for James remarks " that they make a gie&t fuss about character now-a-days ;" and it comes well from them, Molly, if the stories I hear be true ! Ask Purcell what's vacant in K. I.'s line ? which, you may say, goes from Lunatic Asylums to the Court of Chancery. I don't want James to have an Irish appointment, but he says there's something in Grambia — ^wherever that is — that he'd Uke. As of course K. I. and myself can never live together again, it would be very convenient if he was to get something that would re- quire hiTn to stay in Ireland — either a suspensory magistrate or a place in Newgate would do. Tou'U wonder at my troubling myself about a man that behaved as he did ; and iadeed I wonder at myself for it ; and what I say is, maybe this might happen, [maybe the other, and I'd be sorry afterwards ; and if he was to be taken away suddenly, I'd Kbe to be sure, to have my mind easy, and in a happy frame. Isn't it dreadful to think that it's about these things my letter is filled, whUe aU the enjoyment in life is going on about me. There's the Band underneath my window playing the Eailroad Polka, and the crowd round them is Princesses, and Duchesses, and Countesses, all so elegantly dressed, and looking so sweet and amiable. Every minute the door opens, with an invitation for this or that, or maybe a nose- gay of beautiful flowers that a Prince with a wonderful name has sent to Mary Anne. And here's a man vrith the most tempting jewellery from Vienna, and another with lace and artificial fiowers ; and all for nothing, MoUy, or next to nothing — if one had a trifle to spend on them. And so we might, too, if K. I. hadn't behaved this way. There's to be a Grand Ball to-night at the Eooms, and Mary Anne is come to me about her dress ; for one thing here is indispen- sable — ^you must never appear twice in the same. For the Hfe of me, I don't know what they do with the old gowns, but Mary Anne and myself has a stock already that would set up a moderate mantua- maker. As to shoes, and gloves too, a second night out of them is impossible, though Mary Anne tries to wear them at small tea-parties. Speaking of this, I must say, that girl vriU be a treasure to the man that gets her ; for she has so many ways of turning things to account : there's not an old lace veU, nor a bit of net, nor even a flower, that she can't find use for, somewhere or other. As to Caroline, she looks like a poor governess ; there's no taste nor style whatever about her ; 220 THE DODD FAMILY ABBOAD. and. as to a bit of ribbon round her throat, or a cheap brooch, she never wears one ! I tell her every day, " You're a Dodd, my dear — a regular Dodd. Tou have no more of the M'Carthy in you than if you never saw me." And indeed she takes after the father in every- thing. She has a dry, sneering way about whatever is genteel or high-bred, and the same liking for anything low and common ; but, after aU., I'm lucky to have Mary Anne and James what they are ! There's no position in life that they're not equal to ; and if I'm not greatly mistaken, it's in the very highest rank they'll settle down at last. This opinion of mine, Molly, is the best and shortest answer I can give to what you ask me in your last letter, " "What's the use of going abroad?" But, indeed, your question — as Lord G-eorge re- marked, when I told him of it — is, " What's the use of civilisation ? What's the use of clothes ? What's the use of cooked victuals ?" Tou'U say, perhaps, that you have all these in Ireland ; and I'U teU you, just as flatly, Tou have not. Tou stare with surprise, but I re- peat to you, Tou have not. An old iron shop in PiU-lane, with bits of brass, broken glass, and old crockery, is just as like Storr and Mortimer's as your Irish habits and ways are Hke the real world. Why, Molly, there's no breeding nor manners at all! Tou are all twice too familiar, or what you, perhaps, would call cordial, with each otheif ; and yet you daren't, for the life of yon, say what every foreigner would say to a lady the first time he ever met her. That's your notion of good manners ! As to your clothes, I , get red as a turkey-cock with pure shame when I think of a Dublin bonnet, with a whole botanical garden over it ; but indeed, when one thinks of the dirty streets and the shocking climate, they forgive you fcr keeping aU the finely for the head. The cookery I won't speak of. There's people can eat it, and much good may it do them ; and my heart bleeds when I think of their sufferings. But maybe Ireland is coming round after aU. What I hear is, that when everybody is sold out, matters will begin to mend. I suppose it's just as if the whole country was taking what's called the " Benefit of the Act," and that they'll start fresh again in the world without owing sixpence. If that's the meaning of the 'Cumbered Estates, it's the best thing ever was done for Ire- land, and I only wonder they didn't think of it earlier ; for my sure and certain opinion is, that there's nothing distresses a man like trying to pay oif old debts ; and it destroys the spirits besides, for ye're always saying, " It wasn't me that spent this. Jhadn't any fun for i/iat." James has just come in with the list of the new Ministry, and THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAB. 221 among all the Irish appointments I don't see as good a name as K. I.'b ; and you may fancy how respectable they are after that ! But the truth is, Molly, it's the same with politics as with the potatoes : one is satisfied to put up with anything in. a famine. K. I. used to say that when he was young, his Irish name would have excluded him as much from smj chance of office as if he was a Eed Indian ; but times is changed now, and I see two or three in the list that their colleagues will never pronounce rightly — and that at least is some- thing gained. And just to think of it, Molly ! Who knows, if K. I. wasn't dis- gracing himself this minute, that he wouldn't be high in the Admi- nistration ? I remember the time when it was only Lord James this, or Sir Michael that, got anything ; but now you may remark that it's maybe a fellow would rob the mail is a Lord of the Treasury, and one that would take fright at his own shadow is made Clerk of the Ordnance. That's a great " step in the right direction," MoUy, and it shows, besides, that we're daily living down obscene and antiquated prejudices. Ton like a long letter, you say, and I hope you'll be satisfied with this, for I'm four days over it ; but, to be sure, half the time is spent crying over the barbarous treatment I've met from K. I. That you may never know what it is to have a Kke grief, is the prayer of your affectionate friend, Jemima Dodd. P.S. Mary Anne sends her love and regards, and Gary, too, desires to be remembered to you. She is longing to have old Tib here, as if a black cat would be anything remarkable on the Continent. But that's the way with her. All the Dodsborough geese are swans in her estimation. 222 THE DODD TAMIIT ABEOAD. LETTEE XXIV. JAMES DODD TO KOBEET DOOtAN, ESQ., TKINITT COLLEGE, DUBLIIT. Baden-Baden. Mt beae Bob, I copr the foUowing paragraph from the Galigtumi of yesterday: — " Considerable exeitement has been caused amongst the fashionable visitors of Baden by the rumoured elopement of the charming Mrs. Q.*** jj****** -with an Irish gentleman of large fortune, and who though considerably past the prime of Ufe, is evidently not be- yond the age of fascination. Our readers will appreciate the reserve with which we only aUude to a report, the bare mention of whidi will doubtless give the deepest distress amongst a wide circle of our very highest aristocracy." Probably all your conic sections and spherical trigonometry learn- ing would never enable you to read the riddle aright, and so I shall save you the profitless effort by saying that the delinquent so deli- cately indicated in the above is no other than the worthy Grovemor himself. Aye, Bob, as the old song says : " No age, no profession, nor station is free ; To sovereign beauty mankind bends the knee j" and how should it be expected that Dodd Pere could resist the soft impeachment ? To be as intelligible as the circumstances permit, I must ask of you to caU to mind a certain very beautiful feUow- traveller of ours — a Mrs. Grore Hampton. She is the Dido of this JEneid. Not that there is in reality any — even the remotest — shade of truth in the newspaper paragraph ; the entire event being explicable upon far less romantic and less interesting grounds. Mrs. Gr. H. having desired the protection of my Father's escort to some small town in Grermany, and not wishing to excite the inevitable hostility of my Mother to the arrangement, determined upon a night march, without beat of drum. In this way was the fortress evacuated; and when the' garrison were mustered for duty, Dodd Pere was reported missing. THE DODD TAMILY ABEOAD. 22S Tiverton, who was in the secret throughout, explained everything to me, and I as readily imparted the explanation to the girls ; but all our endeavours to convince my Mother were totally fruitless. " She knew him of old." — " She guessed many a day since what he was." — " It was not now that she had to read his character." These and similar intimations, coupled with others even stronger, and less flat- tering as regarded his time of life, manners, and personal advantages, were more than enough to drown all our arguments ; and I must confess that she arranged the details of circumstantial evidence against him with a degree of art and dexterity that might have re- flected credit on a Crown Lawyer. Of course, the first three or four days after the event were not of the pleasantest, for not satisfied with the sympathies of a home circle, my Mother empanneUed "special juries" of the waiters and chambermaids, and arraigned the unlucky Governor on a series of charges, extending to a period far beyond the " statute of limita- tions." Under these circumstances there was nothing for it but to leave this place at once, and establish our quarters in some new locality. Baden ofiered the most advisable sphere, whither we have come, if not to hide our sorrows, at least to console our griefs. I am per- fectly convinced that if the Q-overnor came back to-morrow, and could only obtain a fair hearing, he could satisfactorily explain why he went, where he was, and everything else about his absence ; but there lies the real difficulty. Bob ! He will be condemned per con- tumaciam, if not actually hooted out of Court with indignation. "While this is undeniably true, you would be astonished to hear how thoroughly public sympathy would be with him, were he boldly to stand forth and tender his plea of " Guilty." I was slow to credit this when Tiverton told me so at first, but I now see it is perfect fact. Good society, abroad, exacts something in the way of qualification — like what certain charitable institutions require at home — you must have sinned before you can hope for admittance ! It is not enough that you express profligate opinions — speak disparagiogly of what- ever is right, and praise the vprong— you are expected to give a proof, a good, palpable, unmistakable proof of your professions, and show yourself a man of your word. The oddest thing about aU this is, that these evidences are not demanded on any moral or immoral grounds, but simply as requirements of good breeding — in other words, you have no right to mix in society where your purity of character may give oifence ; such pretension woidd be a downright impertinence. 224 THE BODD FAMILY ABBOAS. Hence you will perceive, that if the Governor only knew of it, he might take brevet rank as a scamp, and actually figure here as one of the "profligates of the season." Meanwhile, his absence is not ■without its inconveniences ; and if he remain much longer away, I am sorely afraid that we shall be reduced to a paper currency, not " convertible" at will. I have myself been terribly unlucky at " the tables," have lost heavily, and am deeply in debt. Tiverton, however, teUs me never to despair, and that when pushed to the wall a man can always retrieve himself by a rich marriage. I confess the remedy is not exactly to my taste — but what remedy ever is ? If it must be so, it must. There are just now some three or four great prizes in the wheel matrimonial here, of which I will speak more fully in my next ; my object in the present being rather to tell you where we are, than to communicate the " res gestm" of, Tour ever attached friend, James Dodd. P.S. Don't think of reading for the Fellowship, I beg and entreat of you. If you will take to " Monkery," do it among our own fellows, who at least enjoy lives of ease and indolence. Besides, it is a downright absurdity to suppose that any man ever rallies after four years of hard study and application. As Tiverton says, " Tou train too fine, and there's no work in you afterwards." THE DODD PAMILT ABEOAD. 225 LBTTEE XXV. KENNY DODD TO THOMAS PUBCELL, ESQ., OF THE GKANGE, BKUPP. Eisenach. " The Eue Garland." Mt Dbab Tom, Totr may see by the address that I am still here, although in some* what different circumstances from those in which I last wrote to you. No longer "Mi Lor," the occupant of the "grand suite of apart- ments with the balcony," flattered by beauty, and waited on with de- votion. I am now alone ; the humble tenant of a small sanded parlour, and but too happy to take a very unpretending place at my host's table. I seek out solitary spots for my daily walks — I select the very cheapest " Canastre" for my lonely pipe — and, in a word, I am undergoing a course of " the silent system," accompanied by thoughts of the past, present, and the future, gloomy as ever were inflicted by any code of penitentiary discipline. I know not if — seeing the bulk of this formidable despatch — you wiU have patience to read it ; I have my doubts that you will employ somebody to " note the brief " for you, and only address yourself to the strong points of the case. Be this as it may, it is a relief to me to decant my sorrows even into my ink-bottle ; and I. come back to my desk at night with a sense of consolation that shows me that, no matter how lonely and desolate a man may be in the world, there is a great source of comfort in the sympathy he has for himself. This may sound like a bull, but it is not one, as I am quite ready to show. But my poor brains are not in order for metaphysics, and so, with your leave, I'U just confine myself to narrative for the present, and keep all the philosophy of my argument for another occasion. Lest, however, you should only throw your eyes carelessly over these lines, and not adventure far into the detail of my sorrows, I take this early opportunity of saying that I am living here on credit — that I haven't five shillings left to me — that my shoemaker lies in wait for me in^the Juden-Grasse, and my washerwoman Tisatches for me near the Church. Schnaps, snuff, and cigars have encompassed me round about with small duns, and I live in a charmed circle of petty persecutions, that would drive a less good-tempered man half crazy. Not that I am ungrateful to Providence for many blessings ; I ac- knowledge heartily the great advantage I possess in knowing nothing Q 226 THE DOBD JFAMIIT ABEOAD. whatever of the language, so that I am enabled to preserve my equa- nimity imder, what very probably may be, the foulest abuse that ever was poured out upon insolvent humanity. My wardrobe is dwindled to the " shortest span." I have " taken out" my great-coat in Kirschwasser, and converted my spare small- clothes into cigars. My hat has gone, to repair my shoes ; and, as my razors are pledged for pen, ink, and paper, I have grown a beard that would make the fortune of an ItjtUan refugee, or O'f a Missionary speaker. at lExeter Hall! My host of " The Eue Garland" hasn't seen a piece of my money for "the last fortnight ; and now, for the first time since I came dbroad, ami able to say that I find the Continent cheap 'to live in. Aye, Tom, take my word for it, the Vifhole secret lies in this— "Do with little, and pay for less," and you'Ufind a great economy in coming abroad to live. But if you cannot cheat 'yourself as well as your creditors, take- my advice and stay at home. These,, however, are only spare reflections ; and'I'll now resume my story, taking up the thread of it where I left off inmy last. It is really all like a dream ito me, Tom ; and many times I am unable to convince myself that it is not a dream, so strange and so novel are all the incidents that have of late befallen me, so unlike every former passage of my life, and so unsuited am I by nature, habit, and'temperament, for the curious series of adventures in which I have 'been invdlved. After all, I suppose it is downright balderdash to say '.that a man ■is aot adapted for this, or suitedto that. Iremember people telling me that 'public Ufe wouldn't do for me; that I wasn't the kind of man for Parliament, and so on; but I see the folly of it all now. The truth is, Tom, that'there is ■a'facultyof accommodation "in human nature ; and wherever you are placed, under whatever circumstances situated, you'll discover that your spirit,'like your stomach, learns to digest- everything ; 'though! won't deny that-it may now and'then be at the cost of a heartburn in the one case as well as the other. "When I wrote to you last I was living a 'kind of pastoral life — a ■species of Meliboeus, without sheeji! If I remember aright, I left 'off' when we were just setting out on an excursion into "the forest — onex)f those charming riides over the smooth sward, and under 'the trelHced shadow of tall trees, now, loitering pensively before some vesta of the wood, now, cantering along ■with merry laughter, as though with every bound we left some care 'behind never to overtake us. Ahj'Tom, it's no use for me to argue and reason with myself; I dlways'find'that I come 'back to the same point, and that whatever itoiudhes my' feelings, whatever makes "my heartvibratewith-pleasaiit THE DODB FAMILY ABEOAD. 227 emotion, whatever brings back to me the ardent, confiding, 'trustful tone of my young days, does me good, and that Tm a better man for it, even though " the situation," as you would call it, was rather equi- vocal. Don't mistake me, Tom Purcell, I dori't want to go wrong-; I have not the slightest inclina,tion to break my neck. The height of my ambition is, only -to look over 'the precipice. Can't yx)U under- stand that ? Try and "realise" that to yourself, as the Yankees say, and you'll at once comprehend the whole charm and fascination di my late life here. I was always "looking over the precipice," sHwaja speculating upon the terrible perils of the drop, and always half- hugging myself in my sense of security. Maybe 'this is metaphysics again ; if it is, I'm sorry for it, but the German Diet must take the blame of it — a course of Sauerkraut would make any man flighty. Well, I'U spare you all description of these " Foresfrdays," at what- ever cost to my own feelings ; and it is not every man that would put that much constrairtt upon himself, for something tells me that the theme would make me " come out strong." That, what with my descriptive powers as regards «cenery, and my acute analysis on the score of emotions, I'd astonish you, and you'd be forced to exclaim, " Kenny is a very remarkable man. Faith ! I never thought 'he 'had this in him." Nor did I know it myself, Tom Purcell ; nor as much as suspect it. The fact is, my natural powers never had fair play. Mrs. D. 'kept me in a state of perpetual conflict. " Little wars," as the Duke used to say, "destroy a state;" and in the same way it's your small domesticities — ^to coin a word — ^that ruin a man's nature and fetter his genius. Tou 'think, perhaps, that I'm employing an over-ambitious phrase, but I am not. Mrs. G-. H. assiired me that I actually did possess "genius," and I believe in my heart that she is the only one who ever really imderstood me. No man uniierstood human nature better than Byron, and he says, in one of his letters," That none of us ever do amything tiU a woman takes us in hand;" by which, of course, ,he means the developing of our better instincts — the 'illustrating our latentt capabilities, and so on ; and that, let meobserve to you, is exactly what our wives never do. With them, it is everlastingly some small question of domestic economy. They "take the vote on the supplies" every moming at breakfast, and they go to bed at night-with thoughts of the "budget." The woman, therefore, referred to by the Poet, cannot be, what we should call in Ireland, "the woman that owns you." And here again, my dear friend, is another illustration of my old theory — ^how hard it is for a man to 'be good and great at the same time. Indeed, I am disposed to say that Nature never intended we 'dbould,"but in q2 228 THE DODD FAMILT ABBOAB, all probability meant to typify, by tbe separation, the great manu- facturing axiom — "the division of labour." Be this as it may, Byron is right, and if there be an infinitesimal sptok of the divine essence in your nature, your female fiiend wiU detect it with the same unerring accuracy that a Prenoh chemist hunts out the ten-thousandth part of a grain of arsenic in a case of poison. It would amaze you were I to teU you how markedly I per- ceived the changes going on in myself when under this influence. There was, so to say, a great revolution going on within me, that embraced all my previous thoughts and opinions on men, manners, and morals. I felt that hitherto I had been taking a kind of Dutch view of life from the mere level of surrounding objects, but that now I was elevated to a high and commanding position, from which I looked down with calm dignity. I must observe to you, that Mrs. Gr. H. was not only in the highest fashionable circles of London, but that she was one who took a very active part in political life. This wiU doubtless surprise you, Tom, as it did myself, for we know really nothing in Ireland of the springs that set great events in motion. Little do we suspect the real influence Women exercise — the sway and control they practise over those who rule us, I wish you heard Mrs. G. H. talk, how she made Bustle do, this, and persuade Pumistone do, the other. Foreign affairs are her forte, and, indeed, she owned to me, that purely Home matters were too narrow and too local to interest her. What she likes is a great B.ussian question, with the Bosphorus and the Danubian Provinces, and the Hospodar of Wal- lachia to deal with ; or Italy and the Austrians, with a skirmishing dash at the Pope and the King of Naples. She is a Whig, for she told me that the Tories were a set of rude barbarians, that never admitted female influence; and "the consequence is," says she, "they never know what is doing at Foreign Courts. Now we knew everything : there was the Princess Sleeboffsky, at St. Petersburg; and the Countess von Schwarmerey, at Berlin ; and Madame de la Tour de Force, at Florence, all in our interest. There was not a single im- pertinent allusion made to England, in all the privacy of Eoyal domestic life, that we hadn't it reported to us ; and we knew, besides, all the little ' tendresses' of the different Statesmen of the Continent, for, in our age, we bribe with Beauty, where formerly it was a matter of Bank-notes. The Tories, on the other hand, lived with their wives, which at once accounts for the narrowness of their views, and the limited range of their speculations." All this may read to you like a digression, my dear Tom, but it is not ; for it enables me to exhibit to you some of those traits by THE BODD PAMILT ABEOAD. 229 ■which this fascinating creature cbarmed and engaged me. She opened so many new views of life to me — explained so much of what was mystery to me before — recounted so many amusing stories of gi-eat people — gave me such passing glimpses of that wonderful world made up of Kings, and Kaisers, and Ministers, who are, so to say, the Great Pieces of the Chess-hoard, whereon we are but Pawns — that I actually felt as if I had been a child till I knew her. Another grand result of this kind of information is, that, as you extend your observation beyond the narrow sphere of Home — whether it be politically or domestically — you learn at last to think so little of what you once regarded as your own immediate and material interests, that you have as many — maybe more — sympathies with the world at large than with those actually belonging to you. Such was the progress I made in this enlightenment, that I felt far more anxious about the Bosphorus than ever I did for Bruff, and would rather have seen the Austrians expelled from Lombardy than have turned out every " squatter" off my own estate at Dodsborough. And it is not only that one acquires grander notions this way, but there are a variety of consolations in the system. Tou grumble at the Poor-rates, and I point to the population of Milan paying ten times as much to their tyrants. Tou exclaim against extermination, and I reply, "Look at Poland." Tou complain of the Priests' ex- actions, and I say, " Be thankful that you haven't the Pope." Now, Tom, come back from all these speculations, and bring your thoughts to bear upon her that originated them, and don't wonder at me if I didn't know how the days were slipping past ; nor could only give a mere passing, fugitive reflection to the fact, that I have a wife and three children somewhere, not very abundantly furnished with the " sinews of war." I suppose, if we could only understand it, that we'd discover our Minds were like our Bodies, and that we sometimes succumb to influences we coidd resist at other moments. Put your head out of the window at certain periods, and you are certain to catch a cold. I conclude that there are seasons the heart is just as susceptible. I cannot give you a stronger illustration of the strange delirium of my faculties than the fact that I actually forgot the Princess whom we came expressly to meet, and never once asked about her. It was some time in the sixth week of our sojourn that the thought shot through my brain — " Wasn't there a Princess to be here ? — didn't we expect to see her ?" How Mrs. Gr. H. laughed when I asked her the question! She really couldn't stop herself for ten minutes. " But I am right," cried I — " there really was a Princess ?" 230 HHE DODD EAMILT ABEOAB. "To be sure you are, my dear Mir:. Dodd," said she, wiping her eyes ; " but you must have been living ia a, state of. tranee, or you would have rememberedi that the poor dearBuchess was obliged, to' accompany the Empress to Sicily, and that she couldn't possibly count upon beiagihere: before, the middle of September." " What month are we in now ?" asked I, timidly.. " July, of course !" said- she, laughing; " June, July, August, Septiember," said. I, counting on. my fingers ; " that will' be four months !" " What do you mean?" asked. she. " I mean," said I,," it will^ be: four months, since I saw Mrs.D.and the family." Sha pressedi her handkerchief to her face, and I thought I heardiher sob; indeed;, lam certain I.didi, Nothingwasfurtherfromrmythou^tS' lihan to. say a rude things, or even an unfeeling one, and so I assured her over and over. I protested that, it was the^ very first time since I came away that I ever as much as remembered' one belonging to me ; that it was impossible for a man to feel less the ties of family^, that I lookedi upon myself — and, indeed,. I hoped; she also looked) upon me in ai way — in fact, regardedi me; in. a light — I'm not exactly clear, Tom, what- light I said; of course,. you can imagine what I in- tended to say, if 1 didn't say it.. " Is this reaUy true ?" said she, without uncovering her face^ while: she extended her other hand towards mci " True !' ' repeated L " If it were not true^ why am I here ? Whyt have. I left " I. just caught myself in time, Tom. I was nearly "in ib" again, with an allusion to Mrs. D. ; but I.ohangedi it, audi said.: "Why am I your slave; — why am I at your feet " just as I said' that, suiting the action to. the words, the door-of the room waB jerked violently open, and' a tall man,, with ■ a. tremendous pair of bushy whiskers, poked- in his head. " Oh, Hieavens !" cried she ;, "ruined and'utidone !" andifledbefisre I could see her, while the stranger,, fastening the door behind him. with the key, advanced towards me vrith an. air at once somenacing, and warlike that I seized the poker, an instrument aboiit four feet six long, and stood on the defensive. " Mr. Kenny Dodd, I believe," saidihe, solemnly. "The same!" said I. " And not Lord Harvey Bruce, at least on this occasion," said he;, wdth a kind of sneer. " No," said I ; " and. who are you ?" " I am Lord Harvey Bruce, Sir," was the answer. -^ N. v-.^:'^ ' G y//y //yj J^fp^ ■m^'^ i9:>i- M;^^ a^/€/L'lt^^^y THE DOBD BAMILT AHEOAiD, 231 I don't think: L said anything- in reply; indeed, lam quite sure I did; not say a syllable; but I must hanre made some expressiyei gesture, or suffered some exclaimationto escape me^ for he quickly- rejoined : " Tes, Sir, you have, indeed, reason to-be thankful ;, for had it been my wretched, miserable, and injured friend instead, you would now be laying weltering in your.blood." " Might. I make bold to ask the name of the ■wretched, miserable^ and injured gentlemam. to whom I wa3 abouf- to be' so much in- debted F" "The husband, of your unhappy victim, Sir," exclaimed he,- and with such an energy of i voice that I "brandished the poker to show I. was ready for him. " Tes, Sir, Mv^ Gore Hampton is now- in this village — to a' mere accident you owe it that' he 'is not in this Hotels — aye, in this very room.' ' And, he gave a- shudder at the words, as though the thoughts tHey= suggested were ienough.to curdle a man's blood. " I'll tdl -you what, my Lord," said I, getting' the table between, us, to, prevent any sudden attack on his part, "all your anger and high-flown indignation is clean thrown away. There is- no -victim hereat-all — there ds no villain; and so far as I am concerned, your frieild is'.not either miserable or injured. The circumstances under- which 'I accompanied that lady to this place are all easy of explana- tion, and'suohi as require a^veryt different acknowledgment from what' you seem disposed to -make for them." "If you. think you are- dealing with a schoolboy, Sip, you' are some- what mistaken," broke he in. " I am a man of the world, and it wRV save us a deal of time. Sir, if you will please to bear this plain feet in your Inemory."' "Tbu maybe that, or anything' else you like, my Lord," said I; " but I'd have you to know that I am a man well respected' in tH© world, the father of ' a .gi?own-up family. There is no occasion for that heavy groan at all, my Lord ; the case is not what you suspect; I came here purely out of friendship " " Come, come. Sir, this is sheer trifling, or it is worse, it' is out- rageous insult. The man who elopes with a woman; passes imder a false name, retires with her into one of the most remote- and unvi' sited tt)wns of G-ermany, is discovered^— as I lately discovered you only insidts the understanding of him who listens tb such excuses. We have tracked you. Sir— it is but fairto tell' you'— fVom the Ehine to this village. We are prepared, when the proper time comes, to 232 THE DODD EAMILT ABEOAD. bring a host of evidence against you. In all probability a more scan- dalous case has not come before the public these last twenty years. Eest assured, then, that denial, no matter how well sustained, wiU avail you little ; and when you have once arrived at this palpable con- viction, it will greatly facilitate our progress towards the termination of this unhappy business," " "Well, my, Lord, let us suppose, for argument sake — ' without prejudice,' however, as the attorneys say — ^that I see everything with your eyes, what is the nature of the termination you allude to ?" " From a gentleman coming from your side of St. George's Chan- nel, the question is somewhat singular," observed he, vrith a sneer. " Oh, I perceive," said I ; " your Lordship means a duel." He bowed, and I went on — " Very weU ; I'm quite ready, whenever and wherever you please ; and if your friend shouldn't make the arrange- ment inconvenient, it would be a great honour to me to exchange a shot with your Lordship afterwards. I have no friend by me, it is true ; but maybe the Landlord would oblige me so far, and I'm sure you'll not refuse me a pistol." " As regards your polite attentions to myself, Sir, I have but to say I accept them ; at the same time, I fear you are only paying me a French compliment. It is not a case for a formal exchange of shots ; so long as Hampton lives, you can never leave the ground alive !" " Then the best thing I can do is to shoot him," said I ; and whether the speech was an unfeeling one, or the way I said it was bloodthirsty, but he certainly looked anything but easy in his mind. " The sooner we settle the affair the better. Sir," said he, haugh- tily. " I think so too, my Lord." " With whom can I then communicate on your part." " I'U ask the Landlord, and if he declines, I'U. try the little barber on the Platz." " I must say, Sir, it is the first time in my life I find myself in such company. Have you no countryman of your acquaintance within a reasonable distance ?" " If Lord George Tiverton were here " " If he were. Sir, he could not act for you — he is the near relative of my friend." I thought of everybody I could remember ; but what was the use of it ? I couldn't reach any of them, and so I was obliged to own. He seemed to ponder over this for some time, and then said: " The matter requires some consideration, Sir. When the un- THE 1)01)1) FAMILT ABBOAS. 233 happy result gets abroad in the world, it is necessary that nothing should attach to us as men of honour and gentlemen. Tour friends will have the right to ask if you were properly seconded." " By the unhappy result, your Lordship delicately insinuates my death ?" He gave a little sigh, adjusted his cravat, and smoothed down his moustachoes at the glass over the chimney. " If it should occur as your Lordship surmises," said I, " it little matters who officiates on the occasion; indeed," added I, stroking my beard, " the barber mightn't be an inappropriate friend. But I've been ' out ' on matters of this kind a few times, and, somehow, I never got grazed yet ; and that's more than the man opposite me was able to say." " Tou'U stand before a man to-morrow, Sir, that can hit a Napoleon at twenty paces." Paith, Tom, I was nigh saying I wish he could find one for a mark about me ; but I caught myself in time, and only observed, " He must be an elegant shot." " The best in the Blues, Sir ; but this is beside the question. The difiSculty is now about your friend. There may be some retired officer here — some one who has served ; if you will institute inquiry, I'll wait upon you this evening, and conclude our arrangements." I promised I'd do all in my power, and bowed him out of the room and down stairs with every civility, which, I am bound to say, he also returned, and we parted on excellent terms. Now, Tom, you'll maybe think it strange of me, with a thing of the kind on hand, but so it was, the moment he was ofi", I went to look for Mrs. Gore Hampton. " The Lady ?" cried the waiter ; " she started with extra-post half an hour ago." " Started !" exclaimed I—" which way ?" " On the high road to Munich." \ " She left no letter — no note, for me ?" \ « No, Sir." ' " Poor thing — overcome, I suppose. She was crying, wasn't she ?" " No, Sir, she looked very much as usual, but hurried, perhaps ; for she nearly forgot the ham sandwiches she had ordered to be got ready for her." " The ham sandwiches !" exclaimed I, and they nearly choked me. " I'm going to be shot for a woman, that in the very extremity of her 234 THE DODDFAHII/T ABHOAU. ruin Has the hearfcto order liam samdwiohes !" That was the reflection that aroseto my mind, and can yora fancy a more bitter one? "Are you. sure," asked! I, "the sandwiches wasn't for Madame Virginiei or the little dog ?"' " They might. Sir, but my Lady desired us to be sure and put plenty of mustard on them." This was the damning circumstance,' Tom.. She was fond! of mus- tard-^ — I had^ often remarked it — and just see,- now,, on what a terivial thing a man's- happiness can hang. 'Fori own to you^ so long as I: was' strong' iii what I fancied' to be her good; graces, I could have fought the whole regimentof Blues ; but when J thought to myself^ "She doesn't care a brass farthing' for you, Kenny Dadd.; she may- be laughing at you this minute over the ham sandwiches" — I felt like a drowning man that had nothing to grapple on; Talk of un- happy and injured men, indeed ! wasn't I in that category myself':' Not even a husband's selfishness could dispute: the palm of misery with me! In the matter- of desertion we were both in the same boat, and for the life of me, I don't see what we could have to fight about. I never heard of two sailors rescued/from shipwreck quar- relling as to who it was lost the vessel ! The best' thing for us to do, thought I, would be to try and console each other, and if he be a sensible, good-hearted fellow, he'lL mayibe take the same view of it. I'U ask him and myLord to dinner; I'U make the Landlord give us some of that wonderful old. Steiuberger,. that was bottled three hundred years ago ; I'll treat them to a regular. S&xon dish of venison with capers, washed' down with Marcobrunner, and if we're not brothers: before morning, my name isn't Kenny Dodd. I was on "these liospitable thoughts intentj" when Lord Harvey Bruce was again announced. He had found out an old Sergeant- Major of Artillery, who, for- a consideration; would undertake the duties of my second— kindly addiag, that he and: his family, a very large one, would also attend my obsequiesi. I iaterrupted his Lordship to remark that an event had just oc- ourred'ta modify the circumstances of the case, and mentioned Mrs. Grore Hampton's departure. " I really cannot perceive, Sir," replied he, " that this, in any way, affects the matter iiiihand. Is my friend less- injured— is his honour less tarnished, because this unhappy woman has at last awoke to a sense of her degraded and pitiable condition?" I thought of the sandwiches, Tom; but could say nothing. TJEE DOBB EASIHT ABEOAB. 2H3, "Are you less his greatest enemy on eactth, Sir?" cried he, pas- sionately. "Ifow listen to me patiently; my Lord,!' said I. "I'll be as brief as I can for both our sakes. I don't, value it one rush whether I gn outiwith your friend or not.. If you wantja proof of TOhat I say, step into the little gardBU here and I'LL give it. you. I'm neither boasting, nor bloodthirsty, when I say that I know, how to stand at either end), of a pistol;, but there's nobhingr toi fight, about between us." " Oh, if you renew that line of argument," cried he, inteirupting me, " it is totally impossible I can listen;" " And why not?"' said I. "Is it: a greater satisfaction to your; Mend to bjelieve himself injured and. dishonoured, than to know that he is neither one nor the other?" " Then why did you come away with her ?" " I can't.tell," said I, for my head was quite confused with all the; discussion. "And, why caU. yourself by my name atEias ?" "r cannot, tell." " Nor. what didi you mean by the attitude; in which I found yona when I entered the room ?" " I can't teU that, either," cried I, driven to desperation by sheer embarrassment. " It's no use asking me any more." " I have been living for the last five or six weeks like one imder a. spell of enchantment. I can no more account for my actions than ai patient in Swift's Hospital. Pm afraid to- commit, my scattered: thoughts to ; paper, lest they; might convict me of insanity.- I know- and: feel that I am a responsible being, but somehow my notions, of. right and wrong are so confused) I have learned to look on so many things difierently from what I used, that I'd; cut a sorry figure- under- orossrexamination on any matter of morality. There's the whola- truth of it now. I'd have kept it to myself if I could,; I'm heartily, ashamed at owning to it^— but I can't help it — ^it would come out. Therefore don't bother me with, ' Why did you do this ?' ' What made you do that ?' for I can give you na reasons for anything." " By Jove ! this is- a> very singular affair," said- he, leaning over the back of a chair, and staring me steadfastly ia the face. " Tour age — ^your standing in society — your appearance generally, Mr. Dodd;. would, I feel bound to say; rather^ " Here h& hesitated and fal;- tered, as if the right word was not forthcoming,' and so I continued: fbr him: ■ " Just so ; my Lord would' rather' reflite; tiiau' fix upon' me; such. 236 THE DODD FAMILY AEEOAB, an imputation. I'm not very like the kind of man that figures usually in these sort of cases." " As to that," said he, cautiously, " there is no saying. I am now only speaking my own private sentiments, the result of impressions made upon myself as an individual. Courts of Law take their own views of these things ; and the House of Lords has also its own way of regarding them," The words threw me into a cold perspiration from head to foot, Tom ! Courts of Law ! and the House of Lords ! wasn't that a pretty prospect for an encumbered Irish gentleman? A shot, or even two, at twelve or fourteen paces, cannot be a very expensive thing, in a pecuniary point, to any man ; and there's an awkwardness in declining it if others are anxious to have it, so that you appear un- gracious and disobliging. But "Westminster Hall and St. Stephen's I Tom, is mighty different. I won't speak of the disgrace that attends such a proceeding at my time of life, nor the hue-and-cry that the Press sets up at you, and follows you with to your own hearth — " the place from whence you came," and where now your wife waits for you — to perform the last sentence of the Law. I won't allude to Pimch and the Illustrated News, that live upon you for three weeks ; but I'U. just take the thing in its simplest form — ^financially. Why, racing, railroads, contested elections, are nothing to it. Tou go to work exactly as Cobden says IVance and England do with their armaments : Chatham launches a seventy-four, and out comes Cher- bourg with a line-of-battle ship — " Injured Husband" secures Sir Fitz- roy KeUy"; " Heartless Seducer" sends his brief to Cockburn. It's a game of Brag from that moment ; and there's as much scheming and plotting to get a hold of IVank Murphy, as if he was the Knave of Spades ! It matters little or nothing what the upshot of the case may be : you may sink the enemy, or be compelled to strike your own flag ; it doesn't signify in the least ; the damages of the action are fatal to you. Now, Tom, although I never speculated in aU my Ufe as to figuring in an affair like this, these considerations were often strongly im- pressed upon me by reading the newspapers, and I had come to the conclusion that a man should never think of defending an action of this kind, no more than he would a petition against his Election, and for the same reason. Since, although not actually guilty in the one case or the other, you are certain to have committed so many indis- cretions — written, maybe, so many ridiculous letters — and, in fact, exposed yourself so much, that if you cannot keep out .o' sight altogether, the next best thing is, let the judgment go by default. I THE DODD TAMILT ABEOAD. 237 say this to show you, that the moment my Lord threw out the hint about Law, that I had made up my mind from that instant. " I sincerely wish," said he, after some deliberation, " that I could hit upon any mode of arranging this afEair ; for although I own you have made a strongly favourable impression upon me, 'Dodd' " — he called me Dodd here, quite like an old friend — " we cannot expect that Hampton could concur in this view. The fact is, the whole thing has got so much blazed abroad — ^they are so weU known in the fashionahle world, both home and foreign — She is so very handsome, so much admired, and He, such a charming fellow — the case has created a kind of European eclat. Looking at the matter candidly, there may be a great deal in what you have said, but, as a man of the world, I am forced to say that Hampton must shoot you, or sue for a divorce. I am well aware that whichever course he adopts many will condemn him. In the Clubs there wiU be always two parties. There may spring up even a kind of 'juste milieu,' who will say, ' Now that poor Dodd is dead, I wonder if he reaUy was guilty?'" "I protest I feel very grateful to them, my Lord," said L But he paid no attention to my remark, and went on. " If vengeance be all that a man looks for, probably the Law of the Land wiU do as much for him as the Law of Honour. Tou ruin a fellow, irretrievably ruin him, by an action of this kind. Tou proba,bly remember Sir Gaybrook Poster, that ran off with Lady Mudford ? Well, he had a splendid estate, didn't owe a shilling they said before that ; they tell me now that some one saw him the other day at Greelong, croupier to a small ' HeU.' Then there was Lackington, whom we used to caL. the ' Cool of the Evening.' " "I never knew one of them, my Lord," said I, impatiently, for I didn't care to hear all the illustrations of his theory. " Lackington was older than you are," continued he, " when he bolted with that City man's wife — ^what's his confounded name ?" "I am shamefully ill-read, my Lord, in this kind of literature " said I, " nor has it the same interest for me that it seems to afford your Lordship. May I take the liberty of recaUing your attention to the matter before us ?" " I am giving to it. Sir," said he, gravely, " my best and most careful consideration. I am endeavouring, by the aid of such infor- mation as is before me, to weigh the difficulties that attach to either course, and to decide for that one which shall secure to my friend Hampton the largest share of the world's sympathy and approval. I have seen a great deal of life, and all that I know of it teaches the 238 THE BOBD TAMIIiT ABEOiD. one lesson — distrust, rather than yield to, first impressions. Awhile ago, when I entered this room, I would have said to Hampton, '.Shoot him like a dog, Sir.' Now, I own to you, ODodd, this is not ■the counsel I shoilld give him. Now, understand me well, Indther 'acquit nor condemn you;; circumstances are 'far ^too strong against you for "the one, and I 'have not the heart to do the other 1" " This talking is dry work, my .Lord," said I. "'Shall we have a •glass of wine f" " "Willingly," said he, seating himself, and throwing his gloves into his hat, -with the air of a man quite disposed to take his ease com- fortably. Our host iproduceda. flask of his inimitable Steinberger, and an- 'other of a native growth, to which he invited our attention, and left us to ourselves once more. We filled, touched our glasses, i German, ■fashion, drank, and resumed our converse. "If any man could have told me, .twenty-four hours ago, that I should be sitting where I now find myself, and with you for my companion, I'd have told him to his face he was a calumniator and a scoundrel! This time yesterday, Dodd, I'd have put a buUet through you, myself." " Tou don't say that, my Lord ?" " I do say, and repeat it, I believed you to be the greatest villain the EUniverse contained. I thought you a monster of the foulest ■ depravity." ""Well, I'm delighted'to have undeceived you, my Lord." " You ^Bue undeceivedme! — i. own to it. I believe, if I know anything, it is Human Nature. I have not been a deep student in other things, ibut dn the heart of man I have read deeply. I know your whole "history in this afiiair, as weU as if I was present at the events. Tou never intended seduction here." "Nothing, of the 'kind, my Lord — never dreamed of it !" "I iknow it, I knew it. She got an influence over you — she fascinated you — she iheld you captive, Dodd. She 'mingled in all ■your thoughts — she became part of all your most secret cogitations. With that warm, impulsive nature of your ^country, you made no resistance — ^you could make none. Tou fell into the net at once — don't deny it. I like you the better for it— Tipon my life I do. Don't suppose 'that I'm Archbishop of Canterbury. or Dean of Dur- iham, man." "I don't suspect it in the least," said I. " I'm no humbugof that kind," said he, resolutely. " I'm a Man of the World, that just takes Life; as he finds it, and neither fancies THEjBODD.rAMIIiT ABEOAD. ' '239 that Human Nature is one jot better or worse than it is. Hampton goes and marries a girl of sixteen ; she is very beautiful and very rich. What. of that? She leaves him — and what becomes of the wealth. and beauty? She is ruiaed — utterly ruined! He has his action at Law, and gets swinging damages, of course. What's the use of that? Will twenty thousand — will forty — .would a hundred thousand pounds serve to compensaite him for a lost position iu life, and the, affection of that charming creature? You know it would not, Sir. Don't affect hesitation nor doubt about it. Tou know it would not." " That wasn't what I was thinking of at aU, my Lord. I was only speculating on the mighty small chance your friend would have of the money." "Do you mean to say, Sir, that a Jury wouldn't give.it?" " The Jury might, but Kenny Dodd wouldn't," said.I. " The Queen's Bench, Sir, or the ^ Court of Exchequer, would take care of, that. They'd issue a ' Mandamus' — the strongest' weapon of our Law; they'd sell to the last stick of your property ; they'd-take your wife's jewek — the coat off your back " "As (to the jewels of Mrs. D.," says I, "and my own wardrobe, I'm afraid they'd not go &r , towards _the!liquidation." " They'd attach every acre of your estate." " Much good it would do them," said I. " We're. in the .Encum- bered Court already !" " Whatever your income may be derived from, they're sure to i dis- cover it." "Eaith!" said I, " I'd be grateful to them for .the information; for it's two months now since I i heard fromTom PuresU, anjdlIiion'.t know where I'm to get a shilling!" " But what, are damages after aU!" . said he ; "iiothiag, ahsnlutely nothing !" " Nothing, indeed !" said I. "And look at the misery through which a man most, wade ere he attain to them. A public trial, a rule to show- cause, a motion three or four hundred gone for that. The case heard :at Westminster HaU— r&rty-seven witnesses .brought, over special from different.parts of the Continent, at from two guineas. to ten per xliem,. and travelling expenses— 'What money couldfStand it; and see what it. comes to; you ruin some .poor .devil, without .benefiting yourself. That's. the foUy of it ! Believe me, Dodd,. the only pepple .that get any enjoy- .ment out of these cases are the Lawyers !" " I oan believe it well," imy Lord. 24iO THE DODD I'AMILT ABEOAJ). " I know it — I.know it, Sir," said he, fiercely. " I have abeady told you that I'm no humbug. I don't want to pretend to any nonsense about virtue, and all that. I was once in my life — 1 was young, it is true — in the same predicament you now stand in. It won't do to apeak of the parties, but I suspect our cases were very similar. The friend who acted for the husband happened to be one who knew all my family and connexions. He came frankly to me, and said : " ' Bruce, this afiair will come to a trial — the damages will be laid at ten thousand — the costs will be about three more. Can you meet that?' " ' No,' said I, ' I'm a younger son — I've got my commission in the Guards, and eight thousand in the ' Three-and-a-HalPs' to live on, so that I can't.' " ' "What can you pay ?' said he. " ' I can stand two thousand,' said I, boldly. " ' Say three,' said he — ' say three.' " And I said, ' Three be it,' and the affair was settled — an expo- sure escaped — a reputation rescued — and a clear saving of something like ten thousand pounds : and this just because we chanced both of us to be ' Men of the World.' Por look at the thing calmly ; how should any of us have been bettered by a three days' publicity at Nisi Prius — one's little tendernesses ridiculed by Thesiger, and their soft speeches slanged by Serjeant WUkitis. Turn it over in. your mind how you may, and the same conclusion always meet you. The hus- band, it is true, gets less money ; but then he has no obloquy. The wife escapes exposure ; and the ' other party' is only mulct to one-fourth of his liability, and at the same time is exempt from all the ruffianism of the long robe ! A vulgarly-minded fellow might have said, 'What's the woman's reputation to me ? I'll defend the action — I'U prove this, that, and t'other. I'll engage the first Counsel at the Bar, and fight the battle out. I don't care a jot about being blackguarded before a Jury, lampooned in the papers, and caricatured in the win- dows,' he might say ; ' what signifies to me what character I hold before the world — I have neither sons nor daughters to suffer from my disgrace.' I know that aU these and similar reasons might prompt a man of a certain stamp to regret this course, and say, ' Be it so. Let there be a trial !' But neither you, nor I, Dodd, could see the matter in this light. There is this peculiarity about a Man of the "World, that not alone he sees rightly, but he sees quickly ; he judges passing events with a kind of instinctive appreciation of what wiU be the tone of society generally, and he says to himself, ' There are doubt- less elements in this question, that I would wish otherwise. I would THE BODD FAMILY ABEOAD. 241 perhaps, say this is not exactly to my taste ; I don't like that,' but who ever yet found that he broke his leg exactly in the right place ? What man ever discovered that the toothache ever attacked the very tooth he wanted? I take it, Dodd, that you are a man who has seen a good deal of life ; now did your heart ever bound with delight on seeing the outside of a bill of costs ? or on hearing the well-known knock of a better known dun at your hall-door ? True philosophy con- sists in diminishing, so far as may be, the inevitable ills of life. Don't you agree with me ?" " With the general proposition I do, my Lord ; the question here is, how far the present case may be considered as coming within your theory. Suppose now, just for argument sake, I was to observe that there was no similarity between our situations ; that while yow openly avow culpability, I, as distinctly, deny it." " Ton prefer to die innocent, Dodd?" said he, puffing his cigar coolly as he spoke. " I prefer, my Lord, to maintain the 'vantage ground that I feel under my feet. Had you been patient enough to hear me out, I could have explained to jovac perfect satisfaction how I came here, and why. I could have shown you a reason for everything that may possibly seem strange or mysterious " " As, for instance, the assumption of a name and title that did not belong to you — a fortnight's close seclusion to avoid discovery — the sudden departure for Ems, and headlong haste of your journey here — and, finally, the attitude of more than persuasive eloquence in which I myself saw you. Of course, to a man of an ingenious and inventive turn, all these things are capable of at least some approach to explanation. Lawyers do the thing every day, some, with tears in their eyes, some, with very affecting appeals to Heaven, according to the sums marked on the outside of the briefs. If your case had been one of murder, I could have got you a very clever fellow who would have invoked divine vengeance on his own head in open court if he were not in heart and soul assured of your spotless innocence ! But now please to bear in mind that we are not iu Westminster Hall. We are here talking frankly and honestly, man to man — sophistry and special pleading avail nothing ; and here I candidly tell you, that, turn the matter how you will, the advice I have given is the only feasible and practicable mode of escaping from this difficulty." If you think me prolix, my dear PurceU, in narrating so circum- stantially every part of this curious interview, just remember that I am naturally anxious to bring to bear upon ^our mind the force of argument to which mine at last yielded. It is very possible I may 242 THE BOBD TAMILT ASBOAH. not be able to present tbese reasonings with all tbe strength and Tigour with which they appealed to myself. I may — ^libe a man who plays cheas with himself — favour one side a little more than the other, or it is possible that I may seem weaker in my self-defiHiee that I ought to have been. However yon interpret my conduct, on this trjring occasion,, give me the benefit of never having for a mo- ment forgotten the fame and fortune of that lovely creature whose fete was in my hands, and whom I have rescued at a heavy price. I do not wish to impose upon you the wearisome task of reading all that passed between my Lord and myself. The whole corre- spondence would fin a Blue Book, and be about as amusing as such folios usually are. I'U. spare you, therefore, the steps, of the nego- tiation, and^merely give you the heads of the treaty: " ^Firstly, Mr. Gr. H., by reason, and in virtue of certain compensa- tions to be hereafter stated, binds himself to consider Mrs. G. H. in all respects as before her meeting K. I. D., regarding her with the same feelings of esteem, love, and afiection as before that event, and treat- ing her with the same ' distinguished consideration.' " Secondly, K. I. D., on his part, agrees to give acceptances for two thousand pounds sterling, with interest at the rate of five per cent, per annum on same till the time of payment. The dates to be at the convenience of EL I. D. always provided that the entire payment be completed within the term of five years from, the pre- sent day. " Thirdly, K. I. D. pledges his word of honour never to dispute or contest his liability to the above debt, by any unworthy subterfuge, such as ' no value,' ' iatimidation used,' or any like artifice, legal or otherwise, but accepts these conditions: in aU the frankness of a gen- tleman." Here foUow the signatures and seals of the high contracting par- ties, vnth those of a host of witnesses on both sides. Brief as the articles read, they occupied several days in the discussion of them, during which Hampton retired to a village in the neighbourhood, it not being deemed " etiquette" for us to inhabit the same town until the terms of a treaty had laid down our respective positions. These were my Lord's ideas, and you can infer from them the punctilious character of the whole negotiation. Lord Harvey dined and supped with me every day, breakfasting at Schweinstock with his principal. I thought, indeed, when all was finally settled between us, that Gr. H. and I might have met and dined together as friends ; but my Lord negatived the notion strongly. " Come, come, Dodd,, you mustn't be too hard upon poor &ore ; it is not generous." And although, Tom, THE BOBD PAMI1"E ABBOAD. 243 I eannot see the force of the observation, I felt bound to yield to it, rather than appear ia any invidious or unamiable light. I, conse- quently, never met him during' his stay in the neighbourhood. LoiEd Harvey left this about ten days ago, for Dreadlen. We partsd! the veary best of friends, for with aU his zeal for Q-. H., I must say that he behaved handsomely to me throughout ; and in the matter of the bills, he at once yielded to my making the first for 500^., at mne months,, though he assured me it would be a great convemence t© hofl. friend if I could have said " six." I should have quitted this to join the family on the same day ; but when I came to pay the Hotel bill, I found that the dinners and champagne during the week of diplo- macy had not left me five dollars remaining, so that I have been detained by sheer necessity, and partly by my own will, and partly by my host's sense of caution, my daUy life has been gradually despoiled of its little enjoyments, till I find mysesif in the narrow ciir- cumstances of which this letter makes, mention at the opening. Erom beginning to end, it would be difficult to imagine a more unlucky incident ; nor do I believe that any man ever got less for two thousand pounds since the world began.. Yoni camnot say a severe thing to me that I have not said to myself; you cannot appeal tO' my age,, and my habits, with: a more sneering insolence than I am daily ia the habit of doing ; your very bitterest vituperations would: be mild in comparison, to one of my own soliloquies^ so that, as a matter of "surplusage," spare me all abuse, and rather devote your loose ingenuities to assisting me out of my great embarrassments. I know, well, that if we don't discover a gold mine at Dodsborough, or faU upon a coal shaft near Bruff, that I have no poBsibte prospect to pay these bills ; but as the first of them is: nine months ofi", there is no such pressing emergency. The immediate necessity is, to send me enough, to leave this place, and join. Mrs. D. and: the family. Write to me, therefore, at once, with a remittance, and mentimai where they are— if stiU. at Bonn, where I left them. Tou had also better write to Mrs. D. ; in what strain, and to what purport, I must leave to your own ingenuity. As for myself, I know no more how to meet her, nor what mood to assume, than if I were about to enter the cage of one of Van Amburgh's lions. Now I fancy, that maybe a contrite, broken-hearted look, would be best ■ and now, I rather lean to the bold, courageous, overbearing tone ! Heaven direct me to what is beat, for I never felt myself so much in want of guidance ! "When youwrite to me, be brief; don't worry me with details of e2 244 THE DODD PAMIIT ABEOAD. liome, and inflict me -with one of your national epistles about famine, and fever, and faction fights. I have no pity for anybody but myself just now, and I care no more for 'what's doing in Tipperary than if it was Canton. It will be time enough when I join the others to specu- late upon whither we shall turn our steps, but my present thoughts tend to goiag back to Dodsborough. I wish from my soul that we had never left it, nor embarked in this infernal crusade after high society, education, and grandeur — ^the vain pursuit of which leaves me to write myself, as I now do, your most miserable and melancholy friend, Keititt Dodd. P.S. I have a gold watch, made by Gaskiu of Dublin about fifty years back ; but it's so big and unwieldy that nobody would buy it, except for a town clock. The case of it alone wouldn't make a bad-sized covered dish, and I'm sure the works are as strong as a French steam- engiae ; but what's the use of it all if I can't find a purchaser ? I have already parted with my tortoisesheU snufi'-box, that my grand- mother swore belonged to Quintius Curtius ; and the only family relic remaining to me is a bamboo sword-cane, the being possessed of which, if it became known, would subject me to three months' imprisonment in a fortress, with hard labour ! If I were in Austria the penalty is death — and maybe that same would be a mercy in my misfortunes. The only walk where I don't meet my duns is down by a canal — a lonely path, with dwarf willows along it. I almost think I'd have jumped in yesterday, if it wasn't for the buU-frogs — the noise they made drove me away from the place. Depend upon it, Tom, the Humane Society ought to get the breed for the Serpentine. It's only a most '' determined suicide" could venture into their com- pany ! The chorus in " Eobert le Diable" is a love ditty compared to them! THE DODD TAMILT ABEOAD. 245 LETTEE XXVI. MBS, DODD TO ME. PUKOELL, OE THE GKANGE, BBUPF. Baden-Baden. Deab Me. Pttecell, TouE letter is now before me, and if I didn't know the mark of your hand before, I'd scarce believe that the sentiments was yours. It well becomes you ; one that but one woman would ever accept of, to lecture the likes of me on the way I ought to treat my husband. A stingy old creature that sits croaking over an extra sod of tuif on the fire, and counts out the potatoes to the kitchen, is not exactly the kind of authority to dictate laws to the respectable head of a family ! I often suspected the nature of the advice you gave K. I., but I dida't think you'd have the hardihood to come out with it yourself, and to me ! How much you must have forgotten both of us, it's mighty clear! Where did you get all the elegant expressions about K. I.'s " una- voidably prolonged absence" — "the sacrifices exacted from friendship" — " the generous ardour of a chivalrous nature," and the other fine balderdash you bestow upon your friend's disgraceful behaviour ? Do you know what you are talking about ? Have you a notion about the afiair at aU ? Answer me that. Are you aware that he is now two months and four days away without as much as a letter, except a bit of an impertinent note, once, to ask are we alive or dead, not a sixpence in cash, not a cheque, nor even a Bill that we might tiy to get pro- tested, or whatever they caU it. I don't make any ULusions to why he went, and what he went for. I wouldn't disgrace my pen with the subject, nor myself by noticing it ; but, except yourself, iu the brown wig and the black satin small clothes, I don't know one less suited to perform the " Lutherian." Tou are a nice pair, and I expect nothing less than to hear of yourself next ! And you have the impudence to teU me that these are some of the " innocent freedoms of Continental life !' ' What do you know about them, I'd beg to ask — you, that never was nearer the Continent than Malahide ? As to the innocent free- doms of the Continent, there's nobody can teach me anything ; I see them before me in the day when I drive out, at the table d'hote where I dine, and at every ball where they dance. Sweet innocence it is, indeed! and particularly when practised by the father of a grown-up family — fifty-seven, he says, in June, but more likely sixty 246 THE BODD FAMILY AKEOAD. odd, for I know many of his co-trumperies, and nice young gentlemen they are, too ! Tou assure me that you sympathise sincerely with K. I. I've no objection to that ; he'll need all the comfort it can give him when he comes home again, or I'm much mistaken. "With the help of the Saints, I'll teach him the differ lietween going off with a lady and living with his law&il wife. If he didn't know the distinction, before, he shall, now ! And then you think to terrify me about the state of his health. It won't do, Mr. Tom PurceR. He'H Hto to disgrace us this many a year. I know "well what his constitution can bear, and what he calls the gout is neither more nor less than the outbreaks of his violent and foriowe temper ! Never flatter yourself, therefore, that you can make any of us uneasy on that score ; and if he comes back on a litter it won't save Irim. Your " sincere regrets that we ever came abroad," are very ele- gantly expressed, and require all my aeknowledgments. Isn't there anything else yom are sorry for ? Isn't it grief to you that we never caught the smaU-pox, or ttia,t James wasn't transpori?ed for a forgery? We ought to have stayed at Bruff; and, judging from the charms of your style, I have no doubt that we might have derived great beiiefit from your vicinity. Tou are eloquent, too, about expense ; and add, that you always believed that there was no economy in living abroad. Perhaps not, Sir, if one unites foreign vices with home ones ; but I beg to say, •when we left Dodsborough, I, for one, never contemplated the cost of two establishments— take that, Mr. Tom Purcell ! I wonder at myself how I keep my temper, and condescend to ai^ne with you about points on which an old bachelor, or widower (for it's the same), must necessarily be ignorant. Don't you per- ceive, that for you to discourse on family matters, is like a deaf man describing music ? And you wind up about the privileges of old friendship, and so onl It's a new notion of friendship that makes a man impudent ! Where did yon ever hear, that knowing people a long time was a reason for insnltingthem ? As to your kind inquiries for the girls, I'd have liked them as weU. if not coupled with those "natural fears" for the con- sequences of foreign contamination. Mary Anne and myself got a hearty laugh ont of your terrors ; and so I forgive your mention of them. James is quite well ; and would, he says, be better, if that remit- tance you spoke of had arrived. Tom tell me that the M'Cartliy legacy is paid, and the money THE DODD TAMILT ABEOAB. 247 lodged at Latoucte's. But -what's the use of that ? It's here I want it. Pind out a safe hand, if you can, to send it oyer to me ; for I'm resolved to have nothinig to do with Bills as long as I Hve. And now I beUeve I have gone through the principal matters in your last, and I hope given you my ideas as clearly as your ovm. It may save you some time and stationery, if I say, that my mind is made up about K. I. ; and if it was Queen Yictoria was interceding for him, I'd not alter my sentiments. It's no use appealing " to the goodness of my heart, and the feminine sweetness of my nature ;" all that you say on that head is only a warning to me not to let my weaknesses get the upper hand of me: a lesson I vrill endeavour to profit by, so long as I write myself, Tour very obedient to command, ' Jemima Dobd. LETTEE XXVII. HBS. DOSD TO NS.S. MABT GALLAGHEB, HOUSXKBEFSB, SOSSBOSOireB. DeAE MOXI.T, I SEND you herewith a letter for Tom PurceU, which you'll take care to deliver with yoiir own hands. If you are by, when he reads it, you'U, maybe, perceive that it's not the " compliments of the season" I was sending him. He says he hkes plain speaking, and I trust he is satisfied now. Tou are already aware of the barbarous manner K. I. has behaved. I've told you how he deserted me and the family, and the disgrace that he has brought down upon us in the face of Europe ; for I must observe to you, Molly, that whatever is talked of here goes flying over the whole world, and is the common talk of every Oourt on the Continent. I could fill chapters if I was to describe his vrickednesa and inhumanity. "Well, my dear, what do you think! but in the face of all this Mr. Tom PurceU takes the opportunity to read me a long lecture on my " congenial" duties, and to instruct me in what manner I am to treat K. I. on his return. Considering what he knows of my character, MoUy, I almost suspect that he might have spared himself this trouble. Did he, or did any one else, ever see me posed by a difficulty ? "When did any event take me unawares ? Am I by nature one of those terrified 248 THE DODD FAMILY ABHOAD. creatures that get flurried by misfortune ? or am I, by tbe blessing of Providence, gifted in a remarkable manner with great powers of judgment, matured by a deep knowledge of life, and a thorough acquaintance with the wickedness of the human heart ? That's the whole question — which am I ? Is it after twenty-sis years studying his disposition and pondering over all his badness, that any one can come and teach me how to manage him ? I know K. I. as I know my old slipper ; and, indeed, one is worth about as much as the other ! I haven't the patience, it would be too much to expect from any one, to tell you how beautifully Mister Tom discourses ;to me about the innocent freedoms of the Continent, and the harmless fragilities of female life abroad! Does the old sinner believe in his heart that black is white abroad; and would he have me think that what's murder in Bniff was only a justifiable hom'-a-side at Brussels ? If he doesn't mean that, what does he mean ? Maybe, to be sure, he's one of the fashionable set that make out that the husband- is always driven to some kind of vice or other by his wife's conduct ! For, I must remark to you, MoUy, there's a set of people now in the world — they call themselves " The Peace Congress," I think — ^that say there must be no more w^ars, no fighting domestically or nationally ! Their notion is this : everybody is right, and nobody need quarrel with his neighbour ; but settle any trifling disagreement by means of arbitration. Mister Tom is, perhaps, an arbitrator. "Well, I hope he likes the office ! Since I knew anything of life myself, I always found that, if there was three people mixed up in a shindy, there was no hope of settling it, on any terms. He says, K. I. is coming home. Let him come, says I. Let him surrender himself, Molly, and justice will take its course. That's all the satisfaction I'll give either of them. " Don't be vindictive," says Mister Tom. Isn't that pretty lan- guage to use to me? I ask. Is the Chief Justice "vindictive," Molly, when he says " Stand forward, and hear your sentence ?" Is he behaving " unlike a Christian" when he says, " Use the little time that's left you in making your peace ?" The old creature then goes on to quote Scripture to me, and talks about the Prodigal Son. " Very well," says I, " be it so. K.. I. may be that if he likes, but I'll not be the fatted calf— that's aU !" The ffict is, Molly, I'm immutable as the Maids and Prussians — They; may talk till they're black in the face, but I'll never forgive him! ■Wouldn't it be a nice example, I ask, to the girls, if I was to THE DODD FAMIIT ABEOAD. 249 overlook K. I.'s conduct, and call it a " venal " offence ? And this, too, when the eyes of all Europe is staring at us. " How will Mrs. D. take it ?" says the Prince of This. " What wiH Mrs. D. say to him ?" says the Duke of That. " Does she know it yet ?" asks the Archduke of Moravia. That's the way they go on from morning till night ; so that, in fact, Molly — as Lord Greorge observes — " he is less of a private culprit than a great public malefactor." There's the way I am forced to look on the case ; and think more of the good of society than of my family feelings. Such are my sentiments, Molly, after giving to the case a most patient and careful consideration ; and its little good in Tom Pur- ceU's trying to oppose and obstruct me. If it were not for this unhappy event, I must own to you, Molly, that we never enjoyed ourselves anywhere more than we do here. It's a scene of pleasure and gaiety all day^and, indeed, aU night long ; and nothing but the anticipation of K. I.'s return could damp the ardour of our happiness. However it's managed, I can't tell; but the most elegant Balls and entertainments are given here free and for nothing ! Who keep up the rooms, pays for the lighting, the servants, and the refreshments, is more than I can say. All I know is, that your humble servant never contributed a sixpence to one of them. Lord Greorge says that the Grrand Dulse is never happy except when the place is crammed ; and that he'd spend his last shil- ling rather than not see people amuse themselves. And there's a Frenchman, too — a Mr. Begasset, or Benasset, or something like that — who is so wUd about amusement, that he goes to any expense about the place, and even keeps a pack of hounds for the public. Contrast this, my dear Molly, with one of our little miserable Sub* scription Balls at home, where Dan Cass'idy, the dancing-master, is driving about the country, for maybe three weeks, in his old gig, before he can scrape together a matter of six or seven pounds, to pay for mutton lights, two fiddles, and a. dulcimer ; and, after all, it's perhaps over the Bridewell we'd be dancing, and the shouts of the dirty creatures below would be coming up at every pause of the music. Now, here, it's like a royal palace — elegant lustres, with two hundred wax lights in each of them ; a floor like glass. Ask Mary Anne if it isn't as slippery ! The dress of the company actually magnificent ! none of your little shabby-coloured muslins, or Limerick lace ; none of your gauze petticoats, worn over glazed calico, to look like satin, but everything real, Molly — the lace, the sUk, the satin, the jewels, the gold trimmings, the feathers — all the best of the kind, and fresh as they came out of the shop. You don't see the white 250 THE EODD FAMILT ABEOAB. satin shoes with the mark of a man's foot on them, nor the satin body with four fingers and a thumb on the back of it, as you wouM at a Patrick's Ball in Dublin ! Everythimg is new for eadi night. How Mary Anne laughs at the Irish notions of dress, of what tiaey call in the Evemng Post " a beautifial Lama petticoat over a white satin slip !" or "a traia of elegant figured tabinet." Why, Moly, darling, you might as well wear a Mackintosh, or go out in a suit of gla7.ed alpaca cloth. Mary Anne says that a Ball at the Castle of Dublin is like a Tournament, where aU the company dance in armour; and, indeed, when I think of the rattling of bead bracelets, false pearls, and Berlin necklaces, it rather reminds me ■of a hornpipe in fetters ! I must confess to you, Molly, there's nothing as low anywhere as DubHn, and latterly, when anybody asks Mary Anne or me if it's pleasant, we aiways say, with a strong EagUsh accent, " Our miJitary friends sayTastly, but we really dom^t know ourselves." Isn't that a pretty pass to be reduced to ? Bat I'm told that all the Irish, of any distinction, are obliged to do the same, and never confess to have seen more of Ireland than one does from the "Welsh mountains. It's no want of Patriotism makes me say this. I wish, with aU my heart, that Ireland was a perfect Paradise; and it's no fault of mine that Providence intended otherwise. If I wasn't writing with my head so fiiH of Tom Purcdl and his late impudence, I'd have plenty to teU you about the girls and James. Mary Anne is more admired than any g^rl here, and so would Gary, if she'd only let herself be so ; but she has got a shorty snubby, tart kind of way with people, that never goes down abroad, where, as Lord Qc. says, " Every eat plays with his claws covered." And as to Lord George himself, I wonder is it Mary Anne or Gary that he's after. I watch him day by day, and can make nothing of it ; but sure and certain it is he means one of the two, and that is the reason why he left this suddenly the other morning for England, aad saying, " There's no use letter-writing ; I'H just dash over and have a talk with my G-overnor." I wouldn't ask him about what, but I saw the way the giils looked down when he spoke, and that was enough to show me in what quarter the wind was blowing. I wish from my heart and soul the proposal would come before K. I. came back. I'd like to have to show the superior way I have always managed the family affairs ; for I needn't teU you, Molly, that he never had an eye to the Peerage for one of his daughters ! but if THB BODB I'AMILT ABEOAD. 251 he returns before it's settled, he'll say that he had his share in it all! As to James, he is everything that a fond and doting Mother conid wish. Six feet two and a half— he grew the half since he came here — with dark eyes, and a pair of whiskers and moustachoes that there's not the like here, dressed in the very top of the fashion, with opal ajnd diamond studs to Ms sHrt and waistcoat, and a hlack Telvet paletot with torquoise buttons for evening wear. The whole room turns to look at him wherever he goes, for he walks along just for aB. the world as if he owned the place. Tou may suppose, vij dear Molly, how little he resembles K. I. ; and, indeed, I have heard maaiy Mtake the same remark when we were at Bonn. I made Mary Anne Twrite me down a list of the great people here who have all called on us ; but what's the use of sending it, after all ? You couldn't pronounce them if they were before you ! I send you, liowever, a bit I cut out of Oalignani's .Messenffer, where you'U see that we are put down amongst the distinguished visitors as " Madame M'Carthy Dodd, family and suite !" James still thinks if K. I. would caU himself "The O. Dodd," it would serve us greatly; and Mary Anne agrees with the opinion ; and perhaps now, when he comes back imda: a cloud, as one may say, it may not be so difScult to make him give in. As James remarks, " Print it on your card, call oat and shoot the first feUow that aiddresses you as Mr. — make it no laughing matter for anybody, before your face at least, — and the thing is done." Maybe we'll live to see this yet, MoUy, but I fear it won't be tiU Providence sends for K. I. I spoke rather sharply to Waters in my last ; and I find now that the legacy is paid into Latouche's. Will you remind Purcell, that to be of any use to me, the money ought to be here. As to the Loan Fund, I wonder how you have the face to ask me for anything, Icnowing the way I'm in for ready cash, and that I'd rather borrow than lend any day. Tell Peter Belton, also, that I stop my sub- scription after this year to the Dispensary ; as I am quite sure the old system of Physic is nothing but legalised poisoning. Looking to the facilities of the country, and the natural habits of the people, I'm convinced, MoUy, that the water-cure is what you want in Ire- land ; and I've half a mind to write a letter to one of the papers about it. Cheapness is the first requisite in a poor country ; and any one can vouch for it, water isn't a dear commodity with you. Father Maher's remarks upon poor Jones M'Carthy is, I must say, very unfeeling; and I don't coincide with the conclusions be draws from them ; for if he was half as bad as he says, Masses wiU do 252 THE DODD FAMILT ABEOAD. him little good : and for a few thousand years, more or less, I can't afford to pay fifty pounds ! Ask him, besides, is it reasonable, that when the price of everything is falling, with Pree-trade, that the old Tarif of Purgatory is to be kept up still ? That would be down- right absurd ! Priests, my dear Molly, must lower their rates, as the Protectionists do their rents : that's " one of the demands of the age, and can't be resisted." As Lord George says, " The Church, like the Haiboad people, fell into the mistake of lavish expenditure ! Purgatory was like a Station, and ought never to be made too costly. No one wants to live there : the most one requires is, to be decently comfortable, till you can ' go on.' What's the use of fine furniture, elegant chairs and carpets ? they're clean thrown away in such a place." If Pather Maher thinks that the remarks are not uttered in a respectful spirit, tell him he's wrong ; for Lord Gr. and all his family are great "Whigs, and intend to do more mischief to the Established Church than any party that ever was in power ; and I must say, I never heard Pather Maher abuse Protestants, Bigotry, and Intolerance, more bitterly than Lord Q. It is so seldom that one ever hears really liberal sentiments, or any- thing like Justice to Ireland, I could listen to him for hours when he begins. If I'm right in miy conjecture about the object of his journey to London, it will be the making of James ; since, once that we are connected with the aristocracy, MoUy, there's nothing we cannot have ; for, you see, the way is this : if you belong to the middle classes, they expect that you ought to have some kind of fitness for the occupation you look for ; and they say, " This wouldn't suit you at all ;" " That's not your line in the least ;" but when you are one of the " higher orders," there's, so to say, a general adaptive- ness about you, and you can do anything they put before you, from ranging Windsor Porest to keeping a Lighthouse ! When one re- flects upon that, it's no wonder that one of our great Poets says : " Oh, bless," or " preserve" — I forget which — " our old nobility !" Go into any of the great Public Offices — the Foreign, or the Colonial, for instance — and they teU me that such a set of incapable- looking creatures never was seen, with spy-glasses stuck in their eyes, airing themselves before a big fire, and reading the Times ; and yet, Molly — confess it we must — the work is done somehow, and by some- body. It reminds me of a paper-mill I once saw, and no matter how dirty and squalid the rags that went in, they came out at the other "beautiful fine wove," or " Bath extra." As to the questions in your last, I can't answer a tithe of them. THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAD. 253 You go on, letter after letter, with the same tiresome demand — " Are we as much ia love with the Continent as we were ? Is it so cheap ? Is the climate as fine as they say ? Is there never any rain or wind at all ? Is everybody polite and agreeable ? Is there no such thiag as backbiting or slandering ? Are all the men handsome and brave, and all the women beautiful and virtuous ?" This is but a specimen taken at random out of your late inquiries ; and I'd like to know, that if, even you gave me "notice of a question," as they do in the House, how could I satisfy you on these points ? The most I can do is to say, that there may be some slight exaggeration in one or two of these — the rain, for instance, and the virtue — but that, generally speaking, the rest is aU true. I can be more explicit in regard to what you ask in your last postscript — " After living so long abroad, can we ever come back to reside in Ireland ?" Never, Molly, never! I make neither reserve nor qualification in my answer. That would be clearly impossible ! for it's not only that Ireland would be insupportable to us, but, as Mary Anne remarks, " we would be insupportable to the Irish." Our walk, our dress, our looks, our accent, our manner with men, and our way with women ; the homage we're used to ; the respect we feel our due ; the topics we discuss with freedom, and the range of our views generally over Life, would shock the whole population from Cape Clear to the Causeway. It's not easy for me to explain it to you, MoUy ; but, somehow, everything abroad is different from at home. Not only the things you talk of, but the way you talk of them, is quite distinct ; and the whole world of men, morals, and manners, have quite another standard ! It is the same with one's thoughts as with their diet ■ half the things we like best are only what is called acquired tastes. Trouble enough we often have to learn them ; but when once we do so, who'd be fool enough to go back upon his old ignorance again ? High society and genteel manners, Molly, however you may like them when you are used to them, are just Uke London Porter — mighty bitter when you first taste it. I know there are plenty of people wUl teU you the contrary, and that they took to it naturally like mother's milk; but, don't believe them, it's quite impossible it could be true. Once for all, I beg to tell you that there's no earthly use in tor- menting and teazing us about the state the house is in at Doda- borough ; how the roof is broken here, and the walls given way there. I trust sincerely that it may soon become perfectly uninhabitable. 254 THE DOBD. rAMIJlT ABEOAD. for I never wish to see it again ! I often tMnk it -wouldn't be a bad plan &)r K. I. to go back and reside there.. I'm sure if lie collected Ms rents himself, instead of laavimg all to Tom PureeU, it would be " teUing him something. '^ You say that the country is getting dis- turbed again, and that they're likely to, have a " sharp winter for the Landlords ;" but if it was the will of Providence anythrag should happen, I hope I have Christian feelings to support me ! Indeed, I'm well used to trials now ! It's a mistake, besides, MoUy, to sup- pose that these — I hate to call them " outrages," as the newspapers do — ^these little outbreaks of the boys have any deep root in the country. The Orangemen, I know, would make them out as a regular system, and say that it's an organised society for murder ; but it's no such thing. Father Maher himself told me that he spoke against it from the Altar, and said : " What a pass the country is come to," says he, "that the poor laboiiring, hard-working man has no justice to right him, except his own stout heart and strong arm." What could he say more than that, MoUy? but even these beautiful expressions didn't save him from the EoemnffMail! The English are always boasting about their bravery and their courage, and so on ; and when any one says^ " Why don't yon buy property in IrelaaEuS ?" the answer is, " We're afraid." I have heard it myself, MoUy, with my own ears. But their ignorance is even worse than their cowardice, for if they only knew the people, they'd see there was nothing to be frightened at. Sure, I remember myself, when: we lived at Cloughmanus, Sam Gill came up to the house one morning, to say that there was two men come from below Lahinch to shoot K. I. "They have the pass ■words," says he, "and all the tokens, and though I'm your honour's man, I was obliged to take them into niy house and feed them." "It's a bad business, Sam," says he. "What are they to get for it?" "Five pound between them. Sir — ^if it's done complete." " Would they take three," says E. I., " and let me Uve ?" "I don't know, Sir ; but, if you like, I'U ask them." " I would like it indeed," says K. I. And down went Sam to the Gate-House, and spoke to them. They were both decent, reasonable men, and agreed at once to the offer. The money was paid, and the two came up and ate a hearty breakfast at the Hooise, and K. I. walked more than a mile of the road with them afterwairds — talking about the crops and the state of the THE BODB EAMIIil ABEOAB. 253 eonntry down weatward — and siook iands with them cordially at parting. Now, Molly, tMsia as true as the Bible, and yet there's people and there's newspapers call the Irish " irreclaimable saTages." It is as big a lie as ever was written ! The real truth is, they don't know how, if they really wished, to reclaim them ! And, after aU, how little re- claiming they need ! To hear English people discuss Ireland, you'd suppose that it was the worst part of Arabia Pelix they were de- scribing. But I haven't patience to go on ;. I fly out the moment I hear them, and, faith, they're not proud of themselTes when I'm done. " I wish you were in the House, Mrs. Dodd," says one of thena. to me the other night. " I wish I was," says I; "if I wouldn't make it too hot for Slow- buck, my name isn't Jemima ! for he's the one that abuses us most of all !" "Well, I must say, we are well repaid for all the cruel treatment we receive, at home, by the kindness and " consideration," as they call it, we meet with abroad ! The minute a foreigner hears we're Irish, he says, " Oh, dear, how sorry we are for your sufferings ; we never cease deploring your hard lot;" and to be sure, Molly, "wicked Old England," and " the Harlequin T'lag," as Dan called it, come ia for their share of abuse. Besides these advantages, I must remark that Catholics is greatly thought of on the Continent ; for it isn't as in Ireland, where it's only the common people go to Mass. Here you may see Royalty at their devotions. They sit iu little galleries with glass windows, which they open every now and then, to take paxt in the prayers ; and indeed, whatever rank and fashion is in the place, you're sure to see it " at Church ;" mind, MoUy, at Church, for no educated Catholie ever says '' at Mass." Tou want to hear " all about the converts to our Holy Faith," you say, but this isn't the place to get you the best information ; but as I hope we'U pass the winter in Italy, I'll, maybe, be able to give you some account of them. Lord George tells me that the Pope makes Eome delightful to strangers; but whether it's "dinners," or "recep- tions," I don't know. At any rate, I conclude he doesn't give " baUs." What a fuss they're making all over the world about these " rappa- rees," or refugees, or whatever they call them. My notion is, MoUy, that we who harbour them have the worst of the bargain ; and as to our fighting for them, it would be about as sensible as to take up arms in defence of a flea that got into your bed ! Considering how plenty 256 THE DODD BAMILT ABBOAD. blackguards are at home, I think it's nothing but greediness in us to want to take Eussian and Austrian ones ! We have our own villains ; and any one, of moderate desires, might be satisfied with them ! These are Lord Gr.'s sentiments, but I'm sure you'd like to hear the opinions of the aristocracy on all matters. "What you say about Bony's marriage was the very thought that occurred to myself, and it was just the turn of a pui whether Mary Anne wasn't at this moment Empress of France ! Well, who knows what's coming, Molly ! There's many a one, now in a private station, and mighty hard up for means, that wUl, maybe, turn out a King or a Grrand Duke before long. At any rate, no elevation to rank or dignity wiU ever make me forget my old friends, and yourself, the first of them. And with this, I subscribe myself. Tours ever afiiectionately, Jemima Dobd M'Cabtht. P.S. I'll make one of the girls vraite to you next week, for I know I'U be so much overcome by my feelings when K. I. arrives, that I'll be quite incapable to take up my pen. I sometimes think that I'U take to my bed, and be " given over," against the day of his coming ; for you see there's nothing gives such solemnity and weight to one's reproaches, as they're being last words. You can say such bitter things, Molly, when you are supposed to be too weak to bear a reply ! But I've done this once or twice before, and K. I. is a hardened creature ! Lord G-. says : " Treat him as if it were nothing at all — as if you saw him yesterday ; don't give him the importance of having irritated you. Be a regular Woman of Pashion." If my temper would permit, perhaps this would be best of all ; but have I a right to acquit a " great public malefactor ?" That's a " case of conscience," MoUy, that perhaps only the Church could resolve ! The saints direct me ! THE DODD TAMILT ABEOAD. .257 LETTEE XXVIII. JAMES SODD TO KOBEBT DOOLAK, ESQ., TBINITT COLLEGE, DVBLIN. Mt beae Bob, It is qtiite true, I am a shameful correspondent, and your last ■three letters now before me, unanswered, comprise a tremendous indictment against me ; but reflect for a moment, and you wiU see that in all complaints of this kind there is a certain amount of injustice, since it is hardly possible ever to find two people whose tastes, habits, and present circumstances place them on such terms of perfect equality that the interchange of letters is as easy for one as the other. Think over this for a moment, and you wiU perceive that sitting down at your quiet desk, in " No. 2, Old-square," is a differ- ent process from snatching a hurried moment amidst the din, the crash, and the conflict of life at Baden ; and ifyowr thoughts flow on calmly, tinctured with the solemn influences around you, mine as necessarily reflect an existence chequered by every rainbow hue of good or evil fortune. Be therefore tolerant of my sUence and indulgent to my stupidity, since to transmit one's thoughts requires previously that you should think ; and who can, or ever could, in a place like this ! Imagine a winding valley, with wooded hiUs rising in some places to the height of mountains, in the midst of which stands a little village — ^for it is no more — nearly every house of which is a palace, some splendid hotel of France, Eussia, or England. Tou pass from these by a shady alley, to a little rustic bridge, over what might be, and very pos- sibly is, an excellent trout-stream, and come at once in front of a magnificent structure, frescoed without and gilded and stuccoed within. " The Eooms," the Temple of Fortune, the ordeal of dpstiny. Bob, is hbld here ; and the rake of the Croupier is the distaff' of the Fate. Hither come flocking the representatives of every nation of the world, and of almost every class in each. Eoyalty, princely houses, and nobility with twenty quarterings, are jostled in the indiscriminate crowd with houseless adventurers, beggared spend- thrifts, and ruined debauchees. AU who can contribute the clink of their Louis-d'ors to the music are welcome to this orchestra ! And women, too, fair, deKcate, and lovely, the tenderest flowers that ever were nursed within domestic care, mixed up with others, not less 258 THE DODD ■SAMXLT .A3B0AS. handsome perhaps, but ■whose syren beauty is almost diabolic by comparison. What a Eabel of tongues, and what confusion of characters. The Grandee of Spain, the escaped Galley Slave, the Hungarian magnate, the London " Swell," the old and hoary' gambler with snow-white moustachios, and the unfledged minor, anticipating manhood by ruining himself in his " teens." All these are blended and commingled by the influence of play ; and, differing as they do in birth, in blood, in lineage, and condition, yet are they members of one guild, associates of one society — the igambling-table. An d what a leveller is play ! He who whispers in the ear of the Grown Prince yonder is a branded felon from the Bagnes de Brest:^ the dark-whiskered man yonder, who leans over the lady"* chair, is an escaped forger ; the CarHst noble is asking friendly counsel of a Chrifitino spy; the London pickpocket ofiers his jewelled snuff-box to an Archduke of Austria. " How goes the game to day ?" cries a Neapolitan Prince of the Blood, and the question is addressed to a Ted-bearded Corsican, whose livelihood is a stiletto. "Is that the beautiful 'Oountess of Hapsburg ?" asks a fresh-looking Oxford man ; and his friend laughingly answers : " Not exactly ; it is Made- moiselle Varenne of the Odeon." The fine-looking man yonder cis a Mexican General, who carried off the military chest from " Guana- guato ;" the pompous little feUow beside him is a Lncchese Count, who stole part of the Crown jewels of his sovereign ; the long-haired, broad-foreheaded man, with open shirt-collar, so violently denoundng the wrongs of iigured Italy; is a Eiussian spy ; and the dark Arab behind him is a Swiss valet, more than suspected of having murdered his master in the Mediterranean. Our English contingent embraces Lords of the Bedchamber, Members of Earhament, iBaUroad mag- nates, money-lending Attorneys, Legs, Swells, iind Swindlers, and a small sprinkling of University men, out to read and be ruined — the fair sex, comprising women of a, certain fast set in London, divojfeed countesses, a long category of the widow elasg, some with daughter^ some without. There is an abundance of good looks, splendid dress, and money without limit 1 The most striking feature of all, however, is the reckless helter-skelter pace at which every one is going, whe- ther his pursuit be play, love, or mere extravagance. There is no such thing as calculation — no counting the cost of anything. Life takes its tone from the tables, and where, as wealth and beggary suc- ceed each Other, so do every possible extreme of joy and misery ; and one wagers their passions and their emotions exactly as they do their bank-notes and their gold pieces. Chance, my dear Bob — ^Chance is ten times a more intoxdcating liquor than Champagne, and once take THE BODD FAMILY ABEOAT, 239 to " dramming " with fortune, and you may bid a iong adieu to sobriety! J. do not speak here of the terrible infatuation of flay, and the almost utter impossibility of resisting it, but I .allude to what is infinitely worse, the certainty of your' applying iplay theories and play tactics to every event and circumstance of real ilife. The whole world becomes to you but one great green cloth, and everything in it a question of Luck ! "Will the bad run continue here ? WiU good fortune stand much longer to you :? These are the questions ever rising to your mind. Tou grow, to aregard your- self as utterly powerless and impassive; a football at the tee of destiny ! I think I see your eyebrows fupraised in astonishment at these profound reflections of mine. Tou never suspected me of moralising, nor, shall I own it, was I aware myself that I had any genius that way. Shall I teU you the secret, Bob — shall I unlock the mysterious drawer of hidden motives for you ? It is this, then : I have been a tremendously heavy loser at Eouge'et-Noir ! As long as luck lasted, which it did for three weeks or more, I enjoyed this place with a zest I cannot describe to you. The moralists tell us that prosperity hardens the heart ; I cannot believe it. I know, at least, that in my brief experience I never felt such a imiversal ten- derness for everything and everybody. I seemed to live in an atmosphere of beauty, luxury, and splendour ; every one was courteous ; all were amiable ! It was not alone that fortune favoured me, but I appeared to have the good wishes of all beholders ; words of encouragement murmured around me,;asIwon; soft bewitching glances beamed over at me, as I raked up my gold. The very Banker seemed to shovel out the shining pieces to me with a sense of satirfaotion ! Old veterans of the tables peeped over me to watch my game, and exclamations of Tronder and admiration broke forth at each new moment lof my triumphs ! I don't care what it may be that constitutes the Subject of display : a great Speech in the House, a splendid Picture ,at the Gtillery, a Novel, a Song, a spirited Lecture, a wonderful feat of strength or horsemanship ; but there is an inward sense of intoxication in being the " cynosure loi all eyes" — ^the " one in a thousand" — ^that comes very nigh to madness ! Many a time have I screwed up my hunter to a fence — a regular yavmer — that I knew in my heart was touch and go with both of us,! simply because some one in the crowd said, " Look how young Dodd will do it." I made some smashing ventures at the "tables," under pretty similar promptings, and, I must say, with ;splendid success. " Are you always so fortunate?" asks a Eoyal Persoiiage, with a courteous smUe towards me. S2 260 THE DODD FAMILT ABBOAD. "And in everything?" sigts a gentle voice, witli a look of such hewitching softness that I forget to take up my stake, and see it remain on the board to double itself the next deal. Besides aU this, there is a grand magnificence ia all your notions under the access of sudden vrealth ! Tou give orders to your tradespeople vrith a Jove-like omnipotence. Tou revel in the unbounded realms of " I will." What signifies the cost of anything — the most gorgeous entertainment ! It is only adding twenty Naps, to your next bet ! That rich bracelet of rubies — ^pshaw ! — it is to be had for the turn of a card ! In a word, Bob, I felt that I had fallen upon the " Bendigo Diggins," without even the trouble of the search ! I wanted fifty Ifaps. for a caprice, and strolled in to win them, as .cooUy as though I were changing a cheque at my Banker's ! " Come, Jim ; be a good fellow and back me this time. I'm certain to win if you do," whispers a young Lord, with fifteen thou- sand a year. " Which side is Dodd on ?" asks an old Peer, with his purse in his hand. " How I should like to win eighty Louis, and buy that roan Arab,'' whispers Lady Mary, to her sister. " I'd rather spend the money on that opal Brooch," murmurs the other. " Egad ! if I win this time, I'U start for my regiment to-night," mutters a pale-looking sub., with a red spot in one cheek, and eyes lustrous as if on fire. Pancy the power of him who can accomplish these, and a hundred like longings, without a particle of sacrifice on his own part ! Ima- gine, my dear Bob, the conscious rule and sway thus suggested, and ask yourself what ecstasy ever equalled it! I possessed aU that I'eter SchlemU did, and hadn't to give even my " Shadow" in return. During these three glorious weeks, I gave dinners, concerts, and suppers, commanded plays, bespoke operas, patronised humbugs of all kinds, and headed charities without number. As to presents of jewellery, I almost fancied myself a kind of distributing agent for Storr and Mortimer. The Hotel stables were filled with animals of all kinds belonging to me — Dogs, Donkeys, Horses, Spanish Mules, and a Bear ; while every shape and description of equipage crammed the coach-houses and the court-yard. One of these, with a single wheel in front, and gre^t facilities for upsetting behind, was invented by a Baden THE DODD TAMILT ABEOAB. 361 artist, and most flatteringly and felicitously called "Le Dod." "Wasn't that fame for you, my boy ? Think of going down to posterity on noiseless wheels and patent axles! fancy being transmitted to remote ages ou springs and elastic cushions ! Such was the rage for my patronage, that an ingenious cutler had dubbed a newly- invented forceps by my name, and I was introduced into the world of surgery as a torture. Now for the obverse of the medal. It was on that unluckiest of aU days — a Eriday — that Fortune changed with me. 1 had lain all the morning a-bed, after being up the whole night previous, and only went down to the Eooms in the evening. As usual, I was accom- panied by my train of followers, Lords, Baronets, M.P.'s, foreign Counts, and Chevaliers — for I went to the field like a General, with his full staff around him ! You'll scarcely believe me when I teU you, Bob, but I say it in all truth and seriousness, that so long as my star was in the ascendant — so long as my counsels were what Homer would call " Wealth bestowing words," there was not an opinion of mine upon any subject, no matter how great my ignorance of it. might have been, that was not listened to vyith deference and re- peated with approval. " Dodd said so yesterday" — " I hear Dodi thinks highly of it" — " Dodd's opinion is iinfavourable ;" and so on, were phrases that rung around me, from every group I passed, and. from the " odds on the Derby" to the " division on the Budget,'* there was a profound impression that my sentiments were worth hearing. The pleasantest talkers in Europe, the wittiest conversers that ever convulsed a dinner-party with laughter, would have been de- serted and forsaken to hear me hold forth, whether the theme was art, literature, law, and politics, or the drama, or any other you please to mention, and of which my ignorance was profound. My luck was unfailing. " Dodd never loses," — " Dodd has only to back it ;" these, were the gifts which all could acknowledge and profit by, and these, no man undervalued or denied. " Benasset" — this was the proprietor of the tables — " has been em- ploying his time profitably, Dodd, during your absence. He has made a great morning of it — cleared out the old Elector, and sent the Margraf of Eagatz penniless to his dominions." This was the speech that met me as I entered the door, and a general aU hail fol- lowed it. "Now, you'll see some smart play," whispered one to his newly- come friend. " Here's young Dodd ; we shall have some fun pre- sently." Amid these and similar murmurings I approached the 262 THE BODB I'AMILT ABEOAD. tables-, at which a place' for me was speedily made, formy coming was regairded by the company as a good augury. I could dwell long upon the sensations that then thronged my brain ; they were certainly upon the whole highly pleasurable, but not unmixed with some sadness ; for I already was beginning to feel a kind of contempt for my worshippers, and for myself, too, as the unworthy object of their devotion. This scorn had not much leisure .■granted for its indulgence, for the cards were now presented to. me for "the cut," and' the game began. Am usual my luck was unbroken; If I doubled my stake, or by -caprice withdrew it altogether, it was the same. Fortune seemed to wait upon my orders. EeyeUing in a- kind of absolutism over fate, I played a thousand pranks with luck, and won — ^won on, as if to lose -was an imposBibility. What strange fancies crossed my mind as I Sat there; vague' fears, shadowy terrors of the oddest kind, wUd,- dreamy; and undefined ! Visions of joy and misery ; orgies, mad. and furious with- mirth, and agonising" sights of misery, thoughts of men vrho had made compacts with Hhe Fiend, and the terrors that beset theiri in the midst of their voluptuous abandonment ; Belahazzar at iiis feast ; Faust on the Brocken, rose to my mind, and I ahnost started up and fled from the table at one moment, so impressed was Jby these images'! Would that I had ! Would that I had listened to that warning whisper of my good genius; that was then admonish- iag me ! My reverie had become such at last, that I really never saw nor heard what went on about me.. Tou can picture my condition to yoTU-self, when I say, that I was oidy recalled to self-possession by loud and incessant laughter, that rung out on every side of me. "What's the matter — what has happened?" cried I, in amazement. " Don't you perceive. Sir," said: a bystander, " thatyou have broken the Bank, and they are waiting for a remittance to continue the play?;' So it was, Bob ; I had actually won their last Napoleon, ami. there- L sat, pushing my stake mechanically into the middle of the table, and raking it up again, playing an imaginauy game, to the amusement of that motley crowd, who looked on at me wrtK screams of laughter. I laughed, too, when I came to myself. It was such a relief to me to join, even for a moment, in, any feeling that others experienced! The money came at last. Two strongly-clasped, heavUy-ironed cofiers were bbrne into the room by four powerful men. I watched them with interest as they unlocked and poured forth their shining stores ; for in imagination they were already my own. I believe at.. THE BODD FAMILY ABEOAD. 263 that moment, if any one had offered to assure me the winning of them " for fifty Naps.," that I should have rejected the proposal witb disdain, so impossible did it seem to me that luck could desert me ! Da yon know. Bob, that what most interested me at the time, was the varied expressions displayed by the company at sight of the gorgeous trea- sure before them. It was strange to mark how little all their good breeding and fine manners availed to repress vulgarity of thought and ffieliiig, for there was greed, or envy, or hatred* or some inordiaate passion or other, on every face around; looks of mild and gentle meaning became dashed with a half ferocity ; venerable old age grew fretful and impatient ; youth lost its frank and careless beariug ; and, in fact, Grain, and the lust of Gain, was the predominant and overbear- ing thought of every mind, and wish of every heart! I pledge you my word, there was more animal savagery in the expressions on all sides than ever I saw on a pack of yelping fox-hounds when the huntsman held up the fox in the midst of them. It was the compa- rison that came to my mind at the moment, and I repeat it, with the reservation, that the dogs behaved best. There was an old careworn, meanly-dressed man, with a faded.blue ribbon in his button-hole, seated in the place I usually occupied, and he arose to give it to me with that mingled air of reluctance and respect which it is so hard to resist. His manner seemed to say, " I am too poor and too humble to contest the matter, but I'd remain here if I could." " So you shall, then," said I to myself, and pushed him gently down upon the seat again. "By Jove ! the old fellow has got the lucky place," cried one in the crowd behind me. " Hang me, if Dodd hasn't given up his old chair !" said' another; " I'd rather have had that seat," exclaimed a third, " than one at the India Board!" But I only laughed at these absurd superstitions — as though it were the spot, and not myself, that Fortune loved tO' caress ! As if to resent the foolish credulity, I threw a heavy bet on the table, and lost it ! Again and again I did the same, with theUke result ; and now a murmur ran through the room, that luck had turned with me. I had given up my winning seat, and was losing at every turn of the cards. " Let me have a peep at him," I heard one whisper to his friend behind. " I'd like to see how he bears it !" " He loses remarkably well," muttered the other. "Admirably!" said another. "He seems neither confident nor impatient. I like the way he stands it," 264l THS SOSD TAMILT ABBOAB. " Egad, his hand trembles though I He tore that bank-note in trying to get it out of his fingers !" " His hand is hot too — see how the Louis stick to it !" " They'll not do so very long, depend on't," said a close-shaved, ■well-whiskered fellow, with a knowing eye ; and the remark met an approving smile from the bystanders. " I have just added up his last fifteen bets," said a young man to a- lady on his arm, " and what do you think he has lost ? Porty-eight thousand francs — close on two thousand pounds !" "Quite enough for one evening!" said I, with a smile towards him, which made both himself and his friend blush deeply at being overheard ; and with this, I shut up my pocket-book, and strolled away from the tables into another room, where there were chess and whist- players. I took a chair, and affected to watch the game with interest, my heart at the moment throbbing as though it would burst through my chest. Don't mistake. Bob, and fancy that it was the accursed thirst for gold that enthralled me. I swear to you, that mere gain, mere wealth, never entered into my thought at the moment. It was the gambler's lust — to be the victor, not to be beaten — that was the terrible passion that now struggled and stormed within me ! I'd like to have stated a limb — honour — happiness — life itself — on the issue of a chance ; for I felt as though it were a duel with Des- tuiy, and I could not quit the ground tiU one of us should succumb ! How poor and unsatisfying seemed the slow combinations of skill, as I watched the chess-players ! What miserable minuteness ! what petty plottings for small results ! — nothing grand, great, or decisive I It was like being bled to death from some wretched trickling vessel, instead of meeting one's fate gloriously, amidst the roar of artillery and the crash of squadrons ! I lounged into the salons where they dance ; it was a very brilliant and a very beautiful assembly. There were faces and figures there that might have proved attractive to eyes more critical than my own. My sudden appearance amongst them, too, was rapturously wel- comed. I was already a celebrity ; and I felt that amidst the soft glances and beaming smiles around me, I had but to choose out her whom I would distinguish by my attentions. My mother and the girls came to me with pressing entreaties to take out the beautiful Countess de B., or to be presented to the charming Marchionessr of N. There was a Dowager Archduchess, who vouchsafed to know me. Miss Somebody, with I forget how many millions in the funds, told Mary Anne she might introduce me. Already the Master THE DODD FAMIXT ABEOAB. 265 of the Ceremonies came to know if I preferred a Mazurka or a Waltz. The world was, so to say, at my feet ; and, as is usual at such moments, I kicked it for being there. In plain English, Boh, I saw nothing in all that bright and brilliant crowd but scheming Mammas and designing Daughters^-a universal distrust — an utter disbelief in eyerything and everybody had got hold of me. What- ever I couldn't explain, I discredited. The ringlets might be false ; the carnation might be Touge ; the gentle , timidity of manner might' be the cat-like slyness of the tiger ; the artless gaiety of heart, the practised coquetry of a flirt — aye, the very symmetry that seemed,- perfection, might it not be the stay-maker's ! Play had utterly cor- nupfed me, and there was not one healthy feeliug, one manly thought, or one generous impulse left within me! I left the room a few minutes after I entered it. I neither danced nor got presented to ajiy one ; but after one lounging stroll through the salons, I quitted the place, as though there was not one to know, not one to speak to I I have, more than once witnessed the performance of this polite pro- cess by . another. I have watched a fellow making the tour of a company, with a glass stuck in his eye, and his hand thrust in his, pocket. I have tracked him as he passed on from group to group, examining the guests with the same coolness he bestowed on the chiaa, and am {ling his little sardo3aic appreciation of whatever struck him as droll or ridiculous ; and when he has retired, it has been all I could do, not to follow him out, and kick Mm down the stairs at his. departure. I have no doubt that my conduct on this occasion must have inspired similar sentiments ; nor have I any hesitation in avow- ing that they were weE merited. When I reached the open air, I felt a delicious sense of relief. It was so still, so calm, so tranquil. A bright starlit summer's night, with here and there a murmuring of low voices — a gentle laugh, heard amongst the trees, and the rustling sounds of sUk drapery, brushing through the alleys. All those little suggestive tokens that bring up one's reminiscences of Those odorous hours In jasmine bowers, Or under the Linden tree! But they came only for a second. Bob, and they left not a trace be- hind them. The monotonous rubric of the Croupier rang ever through my brain — " Faites votre jeu. Messieurs," — "Messieurs, feites votre jeu." The table, the lights, the glittering gold, the clank of the rake, were all before me, and I set off at foil speed to the Hotel, to fetch more money, and resume my play. 266 THB DODD FAliiLT ABEOAB. I'U not weary you with a detail, at every step of which I know that your condemnation tracks^ me. I re-entered the play-room, secretly and cautiously; I ftpproaehed the table stealthily; I hoped to escape aU observation — at least, for a time ; and with this object I betted small sums, and attracted no notice. My luck varied ; now, inclining to this side ; now, to that. Fortune seemed as though in a half capricious mood, and, as it were, undetermined how to treat me. "This comes ofuLyown miserable timidity," thought I; "wheal was bold and courageous-, she favoured me. It is the same in every- thing. To win, one must venture." There was a vacant place in front of me ; a young Hungarian had just quitted^ it, having lost his last " Louis." I immediaitely took it. The card on which he had been marking the chances of the game still lay there. I took it up, and saw that he had been playing most rashly ; that no luck could possibly have carried a man safely through such a system as he had foUowedi I must let you into a little secret of this game. Bob, and do not be incredulous of my theory, because my own case is a sorry illustration of it. Where' aU. men fail at Eouge-et-Noir, is from temper. The loser makes tremendous efforts to repair his losses ; the winner grows cau- tious wdth success, and diminishes his stake. Now the wise course is, play low, when you see Pate against you, and back your luck to the very limit of the bank. Ton ask, perhaps, " How are you to ascer^ tain either of these facts ? "What evidence have you that Eortune is with or against you ?" As you are not a Gambler, I cannot explain this to you. It is part of the Masonry of the play-table, and every one who risks heavily on a chance, knows well what are the iastincts that guide him. I own to you, that though well aware of these facts, and thoroughly convinced that they form the only rules of play, I soon forgot them in the excitement of the game,, and betted on, as caprice, or rather as passion, dictated. We Irish are bad stuff for gamblers. We have the bull-dog resistance of the Englishman — his stem resolve not to be beaten — but we have none of his caution nor reserve. We are as impassioned as the men of the South, but we are destitute of that in- tense selfishness that never suffers an Italian to peril his all. In fact, as an old Belgian said to me one night, we make bad winners, and worse losers ; too lavish in one case, too reckless in the other. I am not seeking excuses for my failure in my nationality. I accept the whole blame on my own shoulders. With common pru- dence I might have arisen that night a large winner ; as it was, I left the table with a loss of nigh three thousand pounds. Just fency it, THE DOBD JTAMILT ABEOAB. 267 Bob — ^five thousands pounds poorer ttan when I strolled out after luncheon! A sum sufficient to have started me splendidly ia some career — the Army, for instance- — gone without enjoyment, even with- out credit; for already the crities were busily employed in analysing my "play," which they unanimously pronounced " badly reasoned and contemptible." There remained to me still — at home in the Hotel fortunately — about eight hundred pounds of my former winnings, and I passed the night canvassing with myself what I *shoidd do with these. Three or foxir weeks back I had never given a second thought to the matter; indeed, it would never have entered my head to risk such a^ sum at play; but now, the habit of winning and losing heavy wagers, the alternations of affluence and want, had totally mas- tered aU the calmer properties of reason, and I could entertain the notion, without an effort. I'll not tire you with my reasonings on this subject. Probably you woidd scaueely dignify them with the name. They- aU resolved themselves into this : — " If I did not play, I'd never win back what I lost ;■ if I did, I might." My mind once made up to this, I began to plot how I should proceed to execute it. I resolved to enter the room the next day just as the table opened, at twelve o'clock. The players who frequented the room at that hour were a few straggling, poor-looking people^ who usually com- bined together to make up the solitary crown-piece they wished to venture. Of course I had no acquaintances amongst them, and, therefore, should be free from all the embarrassing restraints of ob- servation by my intimatesi My judgment would be calmer, my head cooler, andj in fact, I could devote myself to the game with aU my energies uncramped and unimpeded. Sharp to the moment of the clock striking twelve, I entered the room. One of the Croupiers^ was talking to a peasant-girl at the window. The other, seated on the table, was reading the newspaper. They both looked astonished at seeing me, bui? bowed respectfully, not, however; making any motion to assume their accustomed places, since it never occurred to them that I could have come to play at such an hour of the morning. A little group, of the very " seediest" exterior, was waiting respectfully for when it might be the CJtoupiers' pleasure to begin, but the funetionaxies never deigned to notice them. " At what hour are the tables opened ?" asked I, as if for in- formation. "At noon. Monsieur le Comte," said one of the Croupiers, folding up his paper; and producing the k^s of the strong box ; "but, ex-' cept these worthy people" — this he said with a most contemptuous 268 THE DODD TAMILT ABEOAD. air of compassion — " we have no players till four, or even five, of tte afternoon." " Come, then," said I, taking a seat, " I'll set the virtuous fasHon of early hours. There go twenty Naps, for a beginning." The dealer shuffled the cards. I cut them, and we begun. We, I say ; because I was the only player, the little knot of humble folk gathering around me in mute astonishment, and wondering what MiLionnaire they had before them. If I had not been too deeply im- mersed in the interest of the game, I should have experienced the very highest degree of entertainment from the remarks and comments of the bystanders, who aU sympathised with me, and made common cause against the Bank. Some of them were peasants, some, were small shopkeepers from dis- tant towns — the Police regulations exclude aU natives of Baden, it being the Grand Ducal policy only to pillage the foreigner — and one, a half-starved, decrepit old fellow, had been a Professor of something somewhere, and turned out of his University to starve for having broached some liberal doctriaes in a lecture. He it was who watched me vyith most eager intensity, following every alternation of my game with a card and a pin. At the end of about an hour I was winner of something more than two hundred pounds, and I sat betting on, my habitual stake of five, or sometimes ten, " Naps." each time. " Get up and go away now," whispered the old man in my ear. " Ton have done enough for once — gained more in this brief hour than ever I did in any two years of hard labour." " At what trade did you work ?" asked I, without raising my head from my game. " My faculty was the ' Pandects,' " replied he, gravely ; " but I lectured in private, on History, Philology, and Chemistry." Shocked at the rudeness of my question to one in his station, I muttered some half-intelligible excuse ; but he did not seem to sus- pect any occasion for apology — never recognising that he who laboured with head could arrogate over him who toiled with his hands. " There, I told you so," broke he in suddenly. " You will lose all back again. Tou play rashly. The rims of the game have been ' triplets,' and you bet on, to the fourth time of passing." " So, then, you understand it!" said I, smiling, and still making my stake as before. " Let the deal pass — don't bet now," whispered he, eagerly. " Herr Ephraim, I have warned you already," cried the Croupier, " that if you persist in disturbing the gentlemen who play here, you will be removed by the Police." THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAB. 269 The word Police — so dreadful to all German ears — made the old man tremhle from head to foot ; and he bowed twice or thrice in hurried submission, and protested that he would be more cautious in future. " Tou certainly do not exhibit such signs of good fortune on your own person," said the Croupier, " that should entitle you to advise and counsel others." " Quite true, Herr Croupier," assented he, with an attempt to smUe. " Besides that, if you reckon upon the Count's good-nature to give you a trifle when the game is over, you'U certainly merit it better by silence and respect now." The old man's face became deep scarlet, and then as suddenly pale. He made an effort to say something, but though his hands gesticu- lated, and his lips moved, no sounds were audible, and with a faint sigh he tottered back and leaned against the wall. I sprang up and placed him in a chair, and, seeing that he was overcome by wealtneas, I called for wine, and hastily poured a glassful down his throat. I could not induce him to take a second, and he seemed, while express- ing his gratitude, to be impatient to get away and leave the place. " Shall I see you home, Herr Ephraim ?" said I ; " wiH you allow me to accompany you ?" " On no account, Herr Graf," said Tie, giving me the title he had heard the Croupier address me by. " I can go alone ; I am quite able, and — I prefer it." " But you are too weak, far too weak to venture by yourself—is he not so ?" said I, turning to the Croupier to corroborate my words. A strangely significant raising of the eyebrow — a sort of — I know not what — meaning — was aU the reply he made me ; and half ashamed of the possibility of being rqade the dupe of some practised impostor, I drew nigh the table for an explanation. " What is it ? what do you mean ?" asked I, eagerly. A shrug of the shoulders, and a look of pity, was Ma answer. " Is he a hypocrite ? — is he a cheat ?" asked I. " Perhaps not exactly ihaf," said he, shuffling the cards. " A drunkard — does he drink ?" then asked I. " I have never heard so," said he. " Then what has he done ? — what is he ?" cried I5 impatiently. He made a sign for me to come close, and then whispered in my ear what I have just told you, only with a voice full of holy horror at the crime of a man who had dared to have an opinion not in accord- ance vrith that of a Police Prefect ! That he^a man of hard study 270 THE DODD PAMIiX ABBOA35. and deep reading — should Tenture to draw other lessons 'from history than those taught at drum-heads by corporals and petty officers ! " Is that aU? — is that aXLi" asked I, indignantly. " All ! all !" exclaimed he ; " do you want more ?" " Why, these things may possibly interest Police spies, but they have no imaginable concern for me." " That is precisely what they have, Sir," said he, hastily, and an a still more cautious tone. " Ton could not show tihat miserable man a kindness without its attracting the attention of the authorities. They never could be brought to believe mere humanity was the mo- ■tive, and they would seek for some explanation more iikin to their daily habits. As an Englishman, I know your custom is to treat these things haughtily, and make every personal insult of this kind a national question ; but the inconvenience of this course wiU. track you over the whole Continent. S^our passport wiU be demanded, here — permission refused you to remain, there. At one town your luggage wiU be scrutinised — at another, your letters opened. I conclude you come abroad to enjoy yourself. Is this the way to do itf At all events he is gone now," added he, looking down the room, " and let's think no more of him. Messiexirs, faites votre jeu," and once more rung out the burden of that monotonoiis injunction to ruin and beggary ! I wasn't exactly in the mood for high play at the moment ; on the contrary, my thoughts were with poor Bphraim and his sorrows ; but, for very pride sake, I was obliged to seem indifferent and at ease. For I must tell you, Bob, this cold, impassive hearing is the high breeding of the play-table, and to transgress it, even for an instant, is a gross breach of 'good manners. I have told you my miad was pre- occupied ; the results were soon manifest in my play. Every " coup" was iU-timed. I was always on the wrong colour, and lost without intermission. "This is not your 'beau-moment,' Monsieur le Comte," said the Croupier to me, as he raked in a stake I had suffered to quadruple itself by remaining. " I should almost say, wait for another time!" " Had you. said so half an hour ago," replied I, bitterly, " the counsel might have been worth heeding. There goes the last of twenty thousand francs." And there it did go. Bob ! swept in by the same remorseless hand that gathered all I possessed. I lingered for a few moments, half stunned. I felt like one that requires some seconds to recover irom the effects of a severe blow, but who feels conscious that with time he shall rally and be himself again. After that I strolled out into the open air, lighted my cigar, THE BODB TAMILT ABEOAB. 271 and turned off into a steep path that led up the .moTintainsidE, under the cover of a dense pine forest. I walked for hours, without no- ticing the way at either side of me, and it was only when, overcome with thirst, I stooped to drink at a little fountain, that I perceived I had crossed over the crest of the mountain, and gained a little glen at its foot, watered by what I guessed must be a capital fishing- stream. Indeed, I had not long to speculate on this point, for, a few hundred yards off, I beheld a man standing knee-deep in the water, ovier -which he threw his line, with that easy motion of the wrist that bespeaks the angler. I must tell you that the sight of a fly-fisher is so faa- interesting abroad, that it is only practised by the English; and although. Heaven knows, there is no scarcity of them in town and cities, the moment you wander in the least out of the beaten, frequented track of travel, you rejoice to see your countryman. I made towards him, therefore, at once, to ask what sport he had, and came up just as hs had, landed a good sized fish. " I see, Sir," said I, " that the fish are not so strong as in our writers. Tou'd have given that fellow twenty minutes more play, had he been in a Highland tarn." " Or in that brisk little river at Dodsborough," replied he, laugh- ing ; and turning round at the same time to salute me, I perceived that it was Captain Morris. Tou may remember him being quar- tered at Bruff, about two years ago, and having had some altercation with my Governor on some magisterial topics. He was. never much to my taste. I thought him somewhat of a mUitaxy prig, very stiff and stand off, but whether it was the Shooting-gacket vice the red coat, or change of place and scene, I know not, but now, he seemed far more companionable than I could have thought him. He was a capital angler too, and spoke of shooting and deer-stalking like one passionately fond of them. I felt half ashamed at first, when he asked me my opinion of the trout streams in the neighbourhood, and it was only as we warmed up, that I owned to the kind of life I had been leading at Baden, and the consequences it had entailed. " Fortunately for me, in one sense," said he, laughing, " I have always been too poor a man to play at anything;; and Chess, which excludes all idea of money, is the only game I know. But of this I am quite sure, that the worst of gambling is neither the time nor the money lost upon it ; it is the simple fact that, if you ever win, from that moment forth you are unfitted to the pursuits by which men earn their livelihood. The slow, careworn paths of daUy iu- dustry become insufferable to him who can compass a year's labour 272 THE SODS EAMIIX ABBOAS. by the tum of a die. Enrich yourself but once — only once — at the play-table, and try then what it is to follow any career of patient toil." He had seen, he said, many examples of this in his own re^ment ; some of the very finest fellows had been ruined by play, for, as he remarked, "It is strange enough, there are few vices so debasing, and yet the natures and temperaments moat open to the seduction of the gaming-table, are very far from being those originally degraded." I suppose that his tone of conversation chimed in well with my thoughts at the moment, for I listened to all he said with deep interest, and willingly accepted his invitation to eat some of his morning's sport at a little cottage, where he lived, hard by. He had taken it for the season, and was staying there with his mother, a «harming old lady, who welcomed me with great cordiality. I dined and passed the evening with them. I don't remember when I spent one so much to my satisfaction, for there was something more than courtesy — something beyond mere politeness in their manner towards me ; and I could observe in any chance allusion to the girls, there was a degree of real interest that almost savoured of friendship. There was but one point on which I did not thoroughly go with Morris, and that was about Tiverton. On that I found him full of the commonest and most vulgar prej.udices. He owned that there was no acquaintanceship between them, and therefore I was able to attribute much, if not aU, of his impressions to erroneous information. Now I know George intimately — ^nobody can know him better. He is what they call in the world " a Loose-fish." He's not overburdened with strict notions, or rigid principles ; he'd teU you himself, that to be encumbered with either would be like entering for a rowing-match in a strait waistcoat ; but he is a fellow to share his last shUling with a friend — thoroughly generous and free-hearted. These are qualities, however, that men like Morris hold cheap. They seem to argue that nobody stands in need of such attributes. I differ with them there, totally. My notion is, that shipwreck is so common a thing in life, it is always pleasant to think that a friend can throw you a spare hen-coop when you're sinking. We chatted till the night closed in, and then, as the moon got up, Morris strolled with me to within a mile of Baden. " There !" said he, pointing to the little village, now all spangled with its starry lights — " there lies the fatal spot that has blighted many a hope, and made many a heart a ruin ! I wish you were miles away from it !" " It cannot injure me much now," said I, laughing ; " I am as re- THE POBD FAMILY ABEOAB. 273 gularly ' cleaned out' as a poor old Professor I met there this morn- ing, Herr Ephraim." " Not Ephraim Gauss ?" asked he ; " did you meet him ?" " If that be his name, a smaU, mean-looking man, with a white beard- — " " One of the first men in Germany — the greatest Civilian — the most learned Orientalist — and a man of almost imiversal attainment in science — tell me of him." I told him the little incident I have already related to yon, and mentioned the caution given me by the Croupier. "Which is not the less valuable," broke he in, "because he who gave it is himself a paid Spy of the Police." I started, and he went on. " Tes, it is perfectly true ; and the advice he gave you was both good and well intended. These men who act as the Croupiers are always in the pay of the Police. Their position affords them the very best and safest means of obtaining information ; they see everybody, and they hear an immensity of gossip. StUl, it is not their interest, that the English, who form the great majority of play-victims, should be excluded from places of gambling resort. "With them, they should lose a great part of their income ; for this reason he gave you that- warning, and it is by no means to be despised or undervalued." At length we parted, he, to return over the moimtain to his cot- tage, and I, to continue my way to the Hotel. ■ " At least promise me one thing," said he, as he shook my hand ; " you'U not venture down yonder to-night ;" and he pointed to the great building where the play went forward, now brilliant in all its illumination. " That's easily done," said I, laughing, " if you mean as regards play." _ " It is as regards play, I. say it," replied he ; " for the rest, I sup- pose you'll not incur much hazard." " I say that the pledge costs little sacrifice ; I have no money to wager." " AH the better, at least for the present. My advice to you would be, take your rod, or, if you haven't one, take one of mine, and set out for a week or ten days up the valley of the ' Moorg.' Tou'll have plenty of fishing, pretty scenery, and, above all, quiet and tran- quillity to compose your mind and recover your faculties after all this fevered excitement." He continued to urge this plan upon me with considerable show of reason, and such success, that as I shook his hand for the last time X 274 THE BOBD TAMILT ABMIAS. it was in a promise to carry out the sclieine. He'd have gone with me himself, he said, but that he could not leave his mother, even for a few days; and, indeed, this I scarcely regretted, because, to own the honest fact, my dear Bob> I felt that there was a terrible gulf between us in fifty matters of thought and opinion ; and, what was worse, I saw that he was more often ia the right than myself. Now, wise notions of life, prudent resolves, and sage aphorisms, are certain to come some time or other to everybody; but I'd as soon think of "getting up" wrinkles and crows' feet as of assuming them, at one-and-twenty. I know at least that's Tiverton's theory, and he, it can't be denied, does tmderstand the world as well as most men. Not that I do not like Morris ; on the contrary, I am sure he is an excellent fellow, and worthy of aE respect, but somehow he doesn't " go along," Bob ; he's — as we used to say of a clumsy horse in heavy ground — " he's sticky." But I'm not going to abuse him, and particularly at the moment when I am indebted to his friendship. When I reached the Hotel I was so full of my plan that I sent for the landlord, and asked him to convert all my goods and chattels, live and dead, into ready cash. After a brief and rather hot discussion the scoundrel agreed to give me two hundred " Naps." for what would have been cheap at twelve* No matter, thought I, I'U make an end of Bad6n, and if I ever set foot in it again " Gome, out vpith the cashj. Master Muller," cried I, impatient to be off; "I'm sick of this place, and hope never to set eyes on't more !" " Ah, the ' Herr Graf " is goiag away then ?" said he, in some sur- prise. " And the. ladies, are they, too, about to leave ?" " I know nothing about their intentions, nor have you any business to make the inquiry," replied I ; " pay- this money, and make an end of it." He muttered something about doiiig the thing regularly, not having " so much gold by him," and so on, ending with a promise that in half an hour I should have the cash, sent to my room. I accordingly hurried up-stairs to put away my traps. My mother and the girls i had already gone out for the evening, so that I -wiote a few lines to say that I was off for a week's fishing, but would be back by Wednesday. I had just finished my short despatch, when the landlord entered with a slip of paper in one hand and a canvas bag of money in the other. " This is the inventory of the goods, Herr Graf, which you vrill please assign over-tome, by aflSxing your signature." I -vTTote it at once. THE BODD rAMItT ABEOAB. 275 *' This is my little account for your expenses at the Hotel," said he, presenting a hatefiiHooking strip of a foot and a half long. " Another time — no leisure for looking over_that now !" said I, angrily. " Whenever you please, Herr Grraf," said he, -with the same imper- turbable manner. " Tou wiU find it all correct, I'm sure. This is the balance !" And opening the bag he poured forth some gold and silver, which, when counted, made up twenty-seven Napoleons, four- teen francs. " And what's this ?" cried I, almost boUing over with rage. " Tour balance, Herr Grraf. AH that is coming to you. If you will please to look here " " Give me up that inventory — that bill of sale," cried I, perfectly wild with passion. He only gave a grim smile, while, by a significant gesture, he showed that the paper in question was in his breeches pocket. Por a second, Bob, I was so thoroughly beside myself with passion, that I determined to regain possession of it by force. To this end I went to the door, and locked it ; but by the time I returned to him, I found that he had thrown up the window and addressed some words to the people in the court-yard. This brought me to my senses, so I counted over my twenty-seven Naps., placed the biE on the chimney- piece, unlocked the door, and told him to^ go ; an injunction which, I assure you, he obeyed with such alacrity, that had I been disposed to assist his exit I could not have been in time to do it. For both our sakes I'U not recal the state of mind in which this scene left me. As to going an excursion with such a sum, or rather with what would have remained of it, after paying waiters, porters, and such like, it was too absurd to think of, so that I coolly put it in my pocket, walked over to the Eooms, threw it on the green cloth of the gaming-table — and — ^lost it ! There ends the episode of my last fortnight's existence — as dreary and disreputable a one as need ' be. As to how I have passed the last four days I'm not quite so clear ! I have walked some twenty-five or thirty miles in each, dining at little wayside inns, and returning late at night to Baden. Passing through picturesque glens, and along mountain ridges of boldest outline, I have marked little. I remember still less. StiU, the Play-fever is abating; I can sleep without dreaming of the Croupier's chant, and I awake without starting- at an imagiaary loss! I feel as though great bodily exertion and fatigue would ultimately antagonise the excessive tension of nerves too long and too painfully on the stretch, and I am steadily pursuing this system for a cure. T 2 276 THE BODD TAMILT ABKOAD. "WTien I come home — after piidnight — I add some pages to this long epistle, which I sometimes douht if I shall ever have courage to send you ! for there is this poignant misery about one's play mis- fortunes, you never can expect a friend's sympathy, no matter how severe your sufferings be. The losses at play are thoroughly selfish iUs — they appeal to nothing for consolation ! Tou will have remarked how I have avoided all mention of the family in this epistle. The truth is, I scarcely ever see my Mother or Mary Anne. Caroline occasionally comes to me before I'm up of a morning ; but it is to sorrow over domestic griefs of one kind or other. My Father is stiU away, and, strangely too, we do not hear from him ; and, in fact, we are a most ill-ordered, broken-up house- hold, each going his own road, and that being — ^in almost every case, I fear — a bad one ! This recital — ^if it be ever destined to come to hand — may possibly tend to. reconcile you to home life, and the want of those advantages which you are so thoroughly convinced 'pertain to foreign travel. I know that in my present mood I am very far from being an impartial witness, and I am also aware that I am open to the reproach of not having cultivated those arts which give to Continental residence its peculiar value ; but let me teU. you. Bob, the ignorance with which I left home — the utter neglect of education in youth — left me unable to derive profit from what lay so seemingly accessible. Tou do not plate over cast-iron, and the thin lacker of gold or silver would never even hide the base metal beneath. I haven't courage to go over and see Morris ; and here I live, perfectly isolated and companionless. Tiverton writes me word that he'll be back in a few days. He went over to speak on the Jew Bill. He says that his liberal speech on that measure " stood to him" very handsomely in Lombard-street. He has forwarded the report of his oration, but I haven't read it. His chief argument in favour of admitting them into Parliament is, " There are so few of them." It's very like the Lady's plea — of the child being a little one. However, I don't think it signifies much one way or t'other ; but it seems strange to exclude men from legis- lation who claim for their ancestor the first Law-Giver. I shall be all eagerness to hear what success you have had for the scholarship. Tou are a happy fellow to have heart and energy for an honourable ambition ; and that you may have "Luck" — for that is requisite, too — ^is the sincere wish of your attached friend, James Dodd. THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAB. 277 LETTEE XXIX. CABOLINE DODD TO MISS COX, AT MISS MINCING's ACADEMY, BLACK BOCK, IBELAND. « The Moorg Thai." Mt beae Miss Cox, How happy would you be, if only seated in the spot where I now write these lines! I am at an open window, the sUl of which is a great rock, all covered with red-brown moss, and beneath again, at some thirty feet lower, runs the clear stream of the Moorg river. Two gigantic mountains, clad in pine-forests to the summits, enclose the valley, the view of which, however, extends to fuU two mUes, showing little peeps of farm-houses and mills along the river's bank, and high upon a great bold crag, the Ducal castle of Eberstein. The day is hot but not sultry, for a Kght summer breeze is playing over the water, and, high up, the clouds move slowly on, now casting broad masses of mellow shadow over the deep-tinted forest. The stream here falls over some masses of rock with a pleasant gushing music, that harmonises well with the songs of the peasant- girls, who are what we should in Ireland call " beetUng" their clothes in the water. On the opposite bank some mowers are seated at their dinner, under the shadow of a leafy horse-chestnut tree, and, far away in the distance, a waggon of the newly-cut hay is traversing the river ; the horses stop to drink, and the merry children are screaming their laughter from the top of the load. I hear them even here ! That you may learn where I am, and how I have come hither, let me teU you that I am on a visit with Mrs. Morris, the mother of Captain M., at a little cottage they have taken for the season, about twelve miles from Baden, in a valley ca,lled the Moorg Thai. If its situation be the very perfection of picturesque choice, it contains within, quite enough of accommodation for those who occupy it. The furniture, too, most simple though it be, is of that nice old walnut- wood, so bright and meUow-looking ; and our little drawing-room is even handsomely ornamented by a richly carved cabinet and a centre table, the support of which is a grotesque dwarf with four heads. Then we have a piano, a reasonably well-filled book-shelf, and a painter's easel, to which I turn at intervals, as I write, to give a passing touch of light to those trees now waving in the summer's wind, and which 2.78 THU DODB rAMIIiX .ABBOAD. I destine, when finished, for my dear, dear Governess. All the ex- ternals of rural life in Germany are highly picturesque — I might almost call them poetic. The cottages, the costume, the little phrases in use amongst the people, their devotional offices, and, above all, their music, make up an ideal of country life such as I scarcely con- ceived possible to exist. There is, too, I am told — for my imperfect knowledge of the lan- guage does nab permit me to state the facft of myself — an amount of information amongst the people seldom found in a similar class throughout the rest of Europe. I do not mean the peasantry here, but the dwellers in the small villages — those, for instance, who folow handicrafts and small trades, and who are usually great readers, and very acute thinkers. Denied almost entirely all access to that daily literature of newspapers on which our people feed, they fall back upon a very difierent class of writing, and are conversant with the works of their great prose and verse writers. Their thoughts aa-e thus idealised to a degree ; they themselves be- come assuredly less work-a-day and practical, but their hopes, their aspirations, and their ambitions, take a higher flight than we could ever think possible from such humble resting-places. Mrs. Morris, who knew Germany many years ago, teUs me that those fatal years of '48 and '49 have done them great injury. Suddenly called upon to act, in events and contingencies of which they derived all their knowledge from some parallels in remote history, they rushed into the excesses of a medisevail period, as the natural consequences of the position ; and all the atrocities of bygone centuries were re-enacted by a people who are unquestionably the most docile and law-obeying of the whole Continent. They are now calming down again, and. there is every reason to think that if unshaken by troubles from without or within, that Germany vdE again be the happy land it used to be. Forgive me, my dear Miss Cox, if I grow tiresome to you, by a theme which now fiUs all my thoughts, and occupies so much of our ^aUy talking. Captain M. has gone to England on some important matter of business, and the old lady is my only companion. Oh, how you would like her ! and how capable you would be of appreciating traits and features of her mind, of which I, in my in- sufficiency, can but dimly catch the meaning. She is within a year or two of eighty, and yet with a freshness of heart and a brightness of intellect that would shame one of my age ! The mellow gaiety of heart that, surviving all the trials of Hfe, lives on to remote age, hopeful in the midst of disappointments, trustLag even when betrayed, is the most captivating trait that con THE BOSS TAMILT ASBOAD. 279 adorn our poor nature. The spirit that can extract its pleasant memories from the past, forgetting all their bitterness, is truly a happy one. This she seems to do, in all gratitude for what blessings re- main to her, after a life not devoid of misfortune. She is devotedly attached to her son, who, in return, adores her. Probably no picture - of domestic affection is more touching than that subsisting between a man already past youth and his aged and widowed mother. The little tender attentions — the watchful kindnesses on both sides — those graceful concessions which each knows how and when to make of their own comfort — and, above all, that blending of tastes by which at last each learns to adopt some of the other's likings, and, even in prejudices, to become more companionable. To me, the happiness of my present life is greater thaii I can de- scribe to you. The peaceful quietude of an existence on which no shocks obiiude is unspeakably deUghtful. If the weather forbid ils to venture abroad, which on fine days we do for hours together, our home resources are numerous. The little cares of a household, amusing as they are, associated with so many little peculiar traits of nationality, help the morning to pass ; after which I draw, or write,, or play, or read aloud, mostly Grerman, to the old lady. Whatever my occupation, be it at the easel, the desk, or the pianoforte, her criti- cisms are always good and just ; for, strange to say, even on subjects- of which she professes to know nothing, there is an instinctive appre- ciation of the right; and this would seem to result from an intense study, and deep love of nature. She herself was the first to show me, that this was a charm which the Bible possessed ia the most remarkable manner, and which even, as literature, gave it the most- uncommon value in the eyes of the humblest classes, who are from the very accidents of fortune the deep students of nature. The language whose iEustrations are taken from objects and incidents, that every peasant can confirm, has a direct appeal to a lowly heart ;, and there is a species of flattery to his intelligence in the fact, that- inspiration could not typify more strongly its conception than by • analogies open to the lowliest son of labour. After this, she places Shakspeare, whose actual knowledge is mira- culous, and whose immortality is based upon that very fact, since the true wUl be true to all ages and people ; and, however men's minds may differ about the forms of expression, the Fact will remain imperishable. According to her theory, Shakspeare understood human nature as learned men do an exact science — where certain results must foUow certain premises and combinations inevitably and of necessity. How otherwise explain that intimate acquaintance with the habits and modes 280 THE DODB TAMILT ABEOAJ). of thought of classes of which he never made one ? How account for the delineation of kingly feelings by him who scarcely saw the steps of a throne? "And yet," said Mrs. M., "Louis Philippe himself told me, that Shakspeare's Kiags were as true as his Lovers. His Majesty once amused me much," said she, " by alluding to a passage in ' Hamlet,' which assuredly would never have occurred to me to notice. It is where the King and Queen are dismissing their attendants from further waiting. His Majesty says, ' Thanks Eozenkrantz and gentle G-uHdenstem ;' on which the Queen adds, ' Thanks GuUdenstem and gentle Eozenkrantz.' ' Now,' said Louis Philippe, ' one almost should have been a Queen to know that it was needful to balance the seeming preference of the Eoyal epithet, by inverting the phrase.' " "While I ramble on thus, I may seem to be forgetting the sub- jects on which more properly I ought to dwell — home and family. Our pursuit of greatness still continues, my dear Miss Cox. We are determined to be fine people; and, I suppose, after all, that our shortcomings and disappointments are not greater than usually fall to the lot of those who aspire to what is beyond or above them. In England the gradations of rank are as fixed as the degrees of a service ; and we, being who and what we are, could ijo more pretend to something else than could a Subaltern pass off for a Colonel to his own regiment. Here, however, there is a general scramble for position, and each seems to have the same privilege to call himself what he likes, that he exercises over the mere spelling of his name. I judge this to be the case from the anecdotes I have heard in society about the Count this, and the Baron that. Since Papa's absence in the interior of Germany, whither he accompanied Mrs. Gore Hamp- i;on, to visit, I believe, some crowned head of her acquaintance, Mamma has pursued a kind of royal progress towards great- ness. Our style of living has been most expensive — I might almost call it splendid. We have servants, horses, equipage — every- thing, in fact, that appertains to a certain station, but one, and that one thing unfortunately is the grand requisite of aU — the air that •belongs to it. The truth is. Miss Cox, as the old Laveyer one day said at dinner to Papa, " Tou prove too much, Mr. Dodd." That is exactly what Mamma is doing. She dresses magnificently for small occasions ; she insists too eagerly upon what she deems her due ; and she is far too exclusive with respect to those who seek her acquaint- anceship. Would you believe it, that though I am permitted to accept the kind hospitality which I at this moment enjoy, it is upon the condition that neither Mamma nor Mary Anne are to "be THE DODD TAMILT ABEOAD. 281 dragged into the mire of low intimacies ;" that Mrs. Morris is to be " Gary's friend." Proud am I, indeed, if she will deign to consider me such ! I must acknowledge that Mamma's ""Wednesdays" collected all •that was high and distinguished at Baden. "We had the old Kurfiirst of something, with a long white moustache, and thirty orders ; an Arch-Duchess with a hump-back, and a mediatised Prince with one eye. There were Generals, Marshals, Ministers, Envoys, and Plenipos -without end — "your Highness" and "your Excellency" were house- hold words round our tea-table. But I often asked myself, " Are not these great folk paying off in falsehood the imposition we are prac- tising upon tliem ? Are they not laughing at the ' Dodds,' and their thousand solecisms in good breeding ?" These would be very unworthy suspicions of mine if I did not feel convinced they were well-founded; but more than once have I overheard chance words and phrases that have suffused my cheeks with " shame-red," as the Germans call it, for an hour after. Is it not an indignity to accept hospitality, and requite it by ridicule ? Is it not base to receive attentions, and repay them in scorn ? "Whether it is from feeling as I do on the subject or not, I cannot say, but James rarely or never appears at Mamma's receptions. He is among what is called " a fast set;" but I always incHne to think that his nature is not corrupted, though doubtless sullied, by the tone of society around us. Tou ask me about Mary Anne's appearance, and here I can speak without reserve or qualification. She is, indeed, the handsomest girl I ever saw ; tall and well-proportioned, and with a carriage and a style about her that might grace a Princess. A critic, inclined to severity, might say there was perhaps a slight tendency to haughti- ness in the expression of the features, especially the mouth ; the head, too, is a little, a very little, too much thrown back ; but some- how these might be defects in another, and yet, in her, they seem to give a peculiar stamp and character to her beauty. AU her gestures are grace itself, and her curtsey, save that it is a little too low, per- fect. She speaks Erench and German fluently, and knows the pre- cise title of some hundred acquaintances, every one of whom would be distracted if defrauded iu the smallest coin of his rank. I need not say how superior all these gifts make her to your humble and unlet- tered correspondent. Yes, my dear Miss Cox, the Erench "irre- gulars" are the same puzzle to me they used to be, and my mind vrill no more carry me on to the verb at the end of the German sentence than wiU my feet bear me over fifty miles a day. I am the stupid 282 THE DODD lAMILT ABEOAD. Caajoline of long ago, and what renders the case so hopeless is, with the best of dispositions to he otherwise ! I am, however, improved in my painting, particularly in my use of colour. I begin at last to recognise the merits of harmony in tint, and see how Nature herself always contrives to be correct. I hope you will like the little sketch that aecompanies this ; the rock in the foreground is the spot on which I sit at every sunset. Would that I had you. beside me there, to counsel, to guide, and to correct me ! "When Captain Morris returns, I shall leave this, as Mrs. M. will not reqtiire my companiaaship any longer, although she is already planning twenty things we are to do, then. Pray, therefore, write to me, as before, to Baden ; and with my most affectionate regards to all who may remember me, and my dearest love to yourself, Believe me, yours ever, Caboliite Dodd. LETTEE XXX. MISS MABT ANKE SOSD TO MISS DOOLAH, OF BALI.YD00LAN. Baden. Mt beakest Kittx, It was our name you saw in the Momvtig Post I "We are " The Dodd M'Carthys." It was no use deferring the decision fca- Papa's return; .and, as I observed to Mamma, circumstances are often stronger than ourselves; for, in all likelihood,, Louis Napoleon would not have de- clared the Empire so soon if it were not for the "Eouge," or the Qrleanists, or the others. Events, in ifect, pressed us from behind — go forward we must ; and so, like the distinguished authority 1 have mentioned, we accepted greatness, in the shape of our present de- signation. "We took the great step on Monday evening last, and issued one hundred and thirty-eight cards for our "Wednesday at home, as Madame Dodd M'Carthy. Of course, I conclude the new title was amply discussed and criticised ; but, as James remarked, the " Coup d'etat" succeeded perfectly. He sent me three different bulletins during the day from " the Eooms " where he was engaged at play. The first was briefly — " Great excitement, and much curiosity as to the reasons. Causes assigned — vague, various, and contradictory. Strict H^ence on wy part." The second ran — "JFunds rising rapidly THE DODD TAMILT ABBOAD. 283 ■ — confidence restored." The third was — " Yictory — opposition crushed, annihilated. — Dynasty secure. Send a card at once to the •Grown Prince of Dalmatia, at the ' Lion.' He is just come." Mamma's nervous tremors during this eventful day were dreadful. Nothing sustained her but a high consciousness, and some excellent •Curagqa. Every cry ia the street, every chance commotion, the slightest assemblage beneath our windows — she took for popular (demonstrations. You know, my dearest Kitty, we live in really eventful times, and nobody can answer for how the mere populace will receive any attempts to recover ancient feudal privileges. I own to you frankly, the attempt was a bold one. We, so to say, stemmed Ahe foamy torrent of Democracy at its highest flood ; but the moment was also propitious. JSTow or never was the time for Nobility to raise its head again ; and we, I am proud to say, have given the initiative to astonished Europe. IVom the hour that we took the great step, Eitty, I felt my heaub rise with the occasion. My spirit seemed to say, " Swell to the mag- nitude of those gcand proportions around you;" and I really felt myself, as it were, disenthralled from the narrow limits of a mere Dodd, and expanding to the wide realms of a M'Carthy! If you only knew the sufferings and heartburnings that plebeian appellation has cost us ! The hateful monosyllable seemed to drop down like a shell in the midst of a company ; and often has it needed a fortnight's dinners and evening parties, in a new place, to overcome the horrid impression caused by the name of Dodd I Now, as it stands at present, it serves to give vigour and energy to the name. Dodd M'Carthy is like Gorman O'Moore, Grogan O'Dwyer, or any other of the great patronymics of ancient Ireland. Prom the deep interest caused by this decisive step, I was obliged at once to turn to the details of our great reception to be held on the "Wednesday following, for it was necessary that in splendour and dis- tinction it should eclipse all that had preceded it. Happily for us, •dearest, Caroline was absent as well as Papa ; she had gone to spend a week with a tiresome old lady some miles away, and we were therefore -relieved from the annoyance of that vexatious restraint imposed by the mere presence of those whose thoughts and ideas are never yours. I have already told you that she has taken up a completely mistaken line, and utterly destroyed any natural advantages she possessed. I told her so myself over and over ; I reasoned and argued the question deliberately. " I see," said I, " your tastes are not those of high and fashionable society. Tou do not feel the instinctive fascination that comes of being admired by the distinguished classes. Tour ambitions 284 THE DODD TAMILT ABEOAB. do not soar to those aristocratic regions whose atmosphere breathes of royalty. Be it so : there is another path open to you — the senti- mental and the romantic. Tour hair suits it, your complexion, your figure, your style generally, will easily adapt themselves to the character. If not a part that attracts general admiration, it is one which never fails, in every society, to secure some favourable notice ; and elder sons, educated either 'at home or in clergymen's families,' are constantly captured by its fascination." This, I must remark to you, EJitty, is perfectly true, and it is of great consequence frequently to have a woman that suits shy men, and saves them the much- dreaded exhibition of themselves by talking aloud.' I told her all this, and I even condescended to use arguments derived from her own narrow views of life, by showing that it is a style requiring little expense in the way of dress : ringlets and a white muslin " peignoir" of a morning, abroad-leaved straw hat for the promenade, something, in short, of the very simplest kind, and no ornaments. No! my dearest Kitty, it was of no use ! She is one of those self-opinionated girls that reason never appeals to. She coolly replied to me, that all this would be unreal and unnatural — " a mere piece of acting," as she said, and consequently unworthy of her, and unbecoming. I repeat the very words of her reply, to show you the great benefits she has derived from foreign travel ! Why, dearest Kitty, nobody is real — nobody pretends to be real, abroad ; if they were to do so, they'd be shunned like wild beasts. "What is it, I ask, that constitutes the very essence of high breeding ? Conventional usages, forms of expression, coiu^tesies, attentions, flatteries, and observances — all simulated, . all put on, to please and captivate. Eeject this theory, and instead of society, you have a mob ; instead of a salon, you have a wild beast " menagerie." Caroline says she is Irish ; she might as weU say she was Cochin- Chinese. Nobody can recognise any trait in that nationality but its uniform " savagery," for I must tell you, Kitty, that Ireland itself — though politically deplored, pitied, and wept over, abroad — is encumbered by geographical doubts and difficulties like the North- West Passage. Many suppose it to be a town in the West of England 5 others fancy it a barren tract along the coast ; and a few, whose sym- pathies are more acute for suffering nations, fancy it to be a species of penal settlement in an unknown latitude. If Caroline even developed the character — ^if she had, as the Prench say, cree la rSle of an Irish girl, what with eccentricities of dress, manner, and Moore's melodies, something might be made of it. It admits of all those extravagancies that are occasionally admired, and any amount of liberty with the male sex. Gary's reading of the part THE BODD TAMILT ABROAD. 285 was very different ; it was neither poetic nor pictorial ; in fact, it was a mere vulgar piece of commonplace devotion to home and its tiresome associations, and a clinging attachment to whatever recalled memories of our former obscurity — these " national traits" being eked out with a most insolent contempt for the foreigner, and a com- passionate sorrow for the patience with which we endured him. Pardon me, my dearest friend, if I weary you with this unpleasant theme, but I wish to satisfy your mind,- that if my sisterly affection be strong, it still does not tyrannise over my reason, and that increased powers of judgment, if they elevate the understanding, are frequently exercised at the cost of our tenderest feelings. To come back to the point whence I started, " our Wednesday" — and this, by the way, enables me to answer some of the questions in your last. Tou ask about my admirers; you shall have the cata- logue as lately revised and corrected, though I scarcely flatter my- self that the names will admit of vocal repetition. First, then, there is the Neapolitan Prince Sierra d'Aquila Nero, whom I already mentioned to you in one of my letters from Brussels. In my then innocence of the Continent I thought him charming, so impassioned, so poetical, and so perfumed. Now, Kitty, I find him an intolerable old bore ; he is upwards of seventy, but so painted, patched, and plastered, as to pass off panoramically. for five-and-forty. He affects all the habits and even the vices of young men. He keeps saddle- horses that he dare not ride, and hires a " chasse," though he never fires a gun ; and lastly, issues from his hairdresser's shop at intervals with a wig of shortened proportions, coolly alleging that he has just had his hair cut ! ■ When he drives out of an evening the whole AUee reeks of " Bergamot," and the flutter of his handkerchief is a tornado in the spice islands. Need I say that his chance is at zero ? Count Eastuchewitsky, aEussian Pole, comes next — at least in order of seniority ; a short, stem-looking man, of about fifty, with a snow- white beard and moustache, with abrupt manners, and an unpleasant voice. I believe that he only pays me any attention because he sees the Prince do so, for he hates aU Italians, and tries to thwart them in everything. The Count's great claim to distinction rests upon his father, or mother, I forget which, having helped to assas- sinate the Emperor Paul — a piece of chivalry that he dwells on un- ceasingly. The Chevalier de CourceUes makes " No. Three," and thirty years ago he might have been very presentable, but he belongs to a school even older than his time. He is of the Eicheheu order, and seems to be always in a terrible fright about the effect of his own powers of 286 THE DOBiD TAMILT ABBOAflJi fascinatiom : Ms constaafb' efifort being to show you that he really is not fond of making victims. There is a German Graf von Herrens- hansen, a large, yellow-bearded,^ blear-eyed monster, with a frogged, coat and a huge pipe stick projecting from the hind pocket, who kisses my hand whenever we meet, and leers at me from the whist- table — for, happily, he is past dancing — ^Uke a Ghoul in an Eastern tale. There are a vast number of others, one or two of whom I reserve for favourable mention hereafter ; but these are the true " pretendants," of which number, I believe, I might select that which pleases me best. Amongst "home productions," as you term them, I may mention the Honourable Sackville Cavendish — a thin, pale, white-eyebrowed babe of diplomacy, that smallest of Poreign-office infants yclept an "unpaid Attache." He has just emerged from the "Nursery" at Downingisteeet, and is reaUy not strong enough to go alone. I have supported him in an occasional polka, and " hustled him," as James called it, through a waltz, and have in turn received the meed of his - admiration as expressed in the most lacklustre eyes that ever glittered out of a doll's head ; and, lastly, there is Mister Milo Blake O'Dwy^r, who formerly — O'ConneUregnante — represented the town of Tralee in Parliament, and who now, with altered fortunes, performs the duty of Foreign Correspondent to that great newspaper "The Sledge Hammeb of Pbebdom." Perhaps I'm not strictly correct in enrolling him amongst the number of my worshippers ; with more rigid justice, I believe he be- longs to Mamma ; at least he's in constant attendance upon her, and continually assures me, with upturned eyes and a smack of the lip, that she is a " gorgeous woman," and " wonderfully preserved !" This worthy individual is reaUy a curiosity ; since being in manner, exterior, knowledge, and fortune totally deficient of all those aids which achieve success in society, he has actually contrived, by the bare force of impudence, to move vdth, and be received by, persons in the very first ranks. Foreigners, I must tell you, Kitty, conceive the most ridiculous notions of England ; one of the most popular of which is, that more than one-half of our government is carried on by news- paper writing, the Minister contributing his sentiments, one day, some individual of the public replying, the next. Now, the illustrious; Milo takes every opportunity of propping up this fallacy, while he re- presents himself as the very bone and sinew of aU English opinion on the Continent. To believe him, no foreign Prince or Potentate could raise a sixpence on loan till he subscribes the scheme. How many an appropriation of territory have his warnings arrested ! From THE DODD FiMILT ABEOAD. 287 what cruelties has he saved the Poles ! "What a crisis did his pen achieve in the fortunes of Hungary ! And then the Bushels of dia- mond snuff-boxes that he has thrown from him with disgust, the "heaps of orders that he hais rejected with proud scorn." As he says him- self, " Haven't I more power than them all ? When I send off my article to the Sledge, don't I see them trembling and shaking for what's coming ? Aye," says I to myself, " haughty enough you look to-day, but won't I expose your Majesty, won't I lay bare the cruel- ties of your prisons and the infamy of your spies ! And your Emi- nence, too, how silky you are ; but I know you well, and I've a copy of the last rescript you sent over to Ireland ! Don't be afraid, my little darling ; never mind the puppies that hissed you at Parma, I'H make your fortune in London. A word from me to Lumley, and it's as good as five thousands pounds in the Bank 1" It really gives me a great notion of the glut of genius that we posssess in England, when you see a man whose qualifications are great in war and peace ; whose knowledge ranges over the world of Politics, Eeligion, Literature, Pine Arts, and the Drama ; who knows mankind to perfection, and understands statecraft to a miracle, with no higher nor prouder position than that of writing for the Sledge, It is but fair to own that he has been of great service to us, here. The hardest thing to find in the world is some person of pushing habits and impudent address, who will speak of you at all times and in aU. companies, doing for you, socially, what, in the world of trade, is accomplished by huge advertisements and red-lettered placards. Now, one really cannot stick up on the walls great announcements of " un- rivalled attraction," the " positively last night but one " of Mrs. Dodd's great soirees, and so on, but you can come pretty nigh the same result by a little tact and management. A few insignificant commisT sipns about camelias, a change of arrangement about the fiddles, en- trusted to him, and Milo was prepared to go forth, trumpet. in hand, for us, from day to dark. "Woe to the luckless wight that hadn't got a card for our "Evening." The obligation Milo would place hi'm under was a bond debt for Ufe ! Then he contrived to know every- body, and though he made sad hash of their names, they only smiled at his blunders. I have heard that a great EngUsh Minister one day confessed that the only exaction of office he never could thoroughly reconcile himself to, was the nature of those persons he was occasionally obliged to employ as subordinates. I suppose that without being leader of a Cabinet, everybody must have experienced something or other of this kind in life. 288 THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAD. I think I hear you ask, " Where is the Eitter von 'Wolfenshafer all this time? What has become of Urn?" you say. Tou really are very tiresome, dearest Kitty, with your little poisonous allusions to "old loves," former attachments, and so on. As to the Eitter, how- ever, I heard from him yesterday ; he cannot, it seems, come to Baden ; his father is not on terras with the &rand Duke, and he strictly charges me not to mention their names to any one. His letter repeats the invitation to us all to spend some weeks at the " Schloss " — an arrangement which might, very possibly, suit our plans well, since, when the season ends here, it is still too early to go into winter quarters ; and one is sorely puzzled what to do with the late autumn, which is as wearisome as the time one passes in the drawing-room before dinner. Of course we must await Pa's return, to reply to this invitation ; and I incline to say we shall accept it. Why will you be so sUly as to remind me of the follies of my child- hood ? Are there no naughtinesses of the nursery you can rake up to record ? Tou know as well, if not better thau myself, that the attentions you allude to could never have been seriously meant! nor could Doctor B. believe them such, if not totally deficient in those qualities of good sense and judgment for which I always have given him credit. I will not say, that in the artless gaiety of infancy, I have not amused myself with the mock devotion he proffered; but you might as well reproach me with fickleness, for not taking a child's interest any longer in the nursery games that once delighted me, as for not sustaining my share in this absurd illusion ! I plainly perceive one thing, Kitty — the Gentleman in question has very little pride ; but even that, in your eyes, may be an excel- lence, for you have discovered innumerable merits in his character under circumstances which, I am constrained to own, have failed to impress me with a suitable degree of interest. The subject is so very unpleasant, however, that I must beg it may never be re-opened between us ; and if you really feel for him so acutely as you say, I can only suggest that you should hit upon some plan of consolation perfectly independent of any aid from your attached friend, Maey Anne. THE DODD EAMII.X ABEOAD. 289 LETTEE XXXI. MART ANNE DODD TO MISS DOOLAN, OT B ALLTDOOL AN. Mt deabest Kittt, Afothee delay, and more " last words !" I had thought that my poor epistle was already miles on the way towards you, wafted by the sighs of my heaving heart, but I, now, discover that Mr. Cavendish vriU not send off his bag to the Foreign Office before Saturday, as the Grand Diike wants to send over some Gruinea-pigs to the Eoyal children, so that I shall detaiu this till that day, and perhaps be able to tell you of a great " Pic-nic" we are planniag to the Castle of Eberstein for Thursday next. It is one of the things everybody does here, and of course we must not omit it. James talks of the expense as terrific, which really comes with an ill grace from one who wagers fifty, or even sixty. Napoleons on a card ! Besides, a " Pic-nic" is an association, and the whole cost cannot fall to the share of an indi- vidual. The Great Milo begs that we will leave everything to him, and I feel assured that it is the wisest course we can adopt, not to speak of the advantage of seeing the whole festivity glowingly de- scribed in the columns of the Sledge. The Princess Sloboffsky has just driven to the door, so I must conclude for the present. I come back to say that the Pic-nic is fixed for Thursday, the number to be, by special request of the Princess, limited to forty — the list to be made out this evening. " Mammas" to go in open car- riages — ^young ladies horse-back, or ass-back — men indiscriminately ; no more at present decided on. I am wild with delight at the plea- sure before us. Would you were one of us, dearest Ejtty ! Thursday Morning. Oh, Kitty, what a day. It might be December in London ! The rain is swooping down the mountain sides, and the wind howling fearfully. It is now seven o'clock, and my maid, Augustine, has called me to get up and dress. Mamma has had two notes already, which, being in Prench, she is waiting for me to read and reply to. . I'll hasten to see what they mean. One of the "biUets" is from the Duchesse de Sargance, merely asking the question, " Que faire ?" The other is ffom the Princess Sloboffsky, who, ia consideration "for all the trouble Mamma has been put to," deems it better to go at aU events, and that we can dine at the Grand Ducal Schloss, instead of on the grass. This reads ominously in one sense, Kitty, and seems to imply that we are giving T 290 THE DODD PAMILT ABEOAB. the entertainment ourselves ; but I must keep this suspicion to my- self", or we should have a terrible exposure. "When an evil becomes inevitable, patient submission is the true philosophy. Ten o'clock. "What an animated, I might almost call it a stormy, debate we have just had in the drawing-room. The assembled Lieges have been all discussing the proposed excursion ; if that can be called discussion, where everybody screamed out his own opinion, and nobody listened to his neighbour. The two parties for and against going divided themselves into the two sexes — the men, being aU. for staying where we are, the ladies, as clamorously declaring for the road. Of course the " Ayes" had it, and we are now putting the whole house in requi- sition for cloaks, mantles, and Mackintoshes. The half-dozen men for whom no places caa be made in coach or " caleche" are furious at having to ride. I half suspect that some attachments, whose fidelity has hitherto defied time and years, will yield, to-day, before the influence of mere water. The truth is, Kitty, Foreigners dread it in every shape. They mix a little of it, now and then, with their wine, and they rather like to see it in fountains and "jets d'eau," but there ends all the acquaintance they ever desire to maintain with the pure element. I must confess that the aspect of the " outsiders" is suggestive of anything rather than amusement. They stand to- be muffled and waterproofed like men who, having resigned themselves to, an inevitable fate, have lost aU. interest in the preliminaries that conduct to it. They are, as it were, bound for the scafibld, and they have no care for the shape of the "hurdle" that is to draw them thither. The others, who have secured inside places, are overwhelmingly civil, and profuse in all the little attentions that cost nothing, nor exact any sacrifice. I have seen no small share of national character this morning, and if I had time could let you into some secrets about it. The arrangement of the company, that is, who is to go with whom, is our next difficulty. There are such intricacies of family history, such subtle questions of propriety to be solved, we'd not get away under a year were we to enter upon half of them. As a general rule, however, ladies ought not to be packed up in the same coach with the husbands from whom they have been for years sepai-ated, nor people with deadly feuds between them to be placed vis-or-vis. As to the attractive principles — the coheaionary elements — Kitty, are more puzzling still, since none but the parties themselves know where the bonds are simidated and where real. MUo has taken a great part of this arrangement upon his own hands, THE DODD FAMILY ABBOAB. 291 and from what I can see, ■with his accustomed want of success in all matters of tact and delicacy. Of this, however, he is most beautifully unconscious, and goes about in the midst of muttered execrations with the implicit belief of being a benefactor of the human race. I wish you could see the self-satisfied chuckle of his greasy laugh, or could hear his mumbled, " Maybe I don't know what ye'r after, my old lady. Haven't I put the little Count with the green spectacles next you ; don't I understand the cross looks ye'r giving me. Ah, Mademoiselle, never fear me, I have him in my eye for you — a wink is enough for Milo Blake any day. Tes, my darling, I'm looking for him this minute." These and such Uke mutteiings will show you the spirit of his ministering, and when I repeat that he makes nothing but blunders, you may picture to yourself the man. He has ap- pointed himself on Mamma's staff, and as I go with the Princess and the Count Boldourouki, I shall see no more of him for a whUe. It is quite clear, Kitty, that we are the entertainers, though how it came to be so, I cannot even guess. Some blunder, I suspect, of this detestable Milo ; and James will do nothing whatever. He is still in bed, and, to all my entreaties to get up, merely says that he'll be with us at dinner. The hampers of proggery will fiU two carriages, and a charette with the Champagne in ice is already sent forward. Three cooks — for such, I am told, are three Gentlemen in black coats and white neckcloths — are to accompany us ; and the whole preparations are evidently got up in the " very first style," and " totally regardless of expense." Twelve o'CIock. Another dilemma. There is only one " Bus" in the town ; and as none of the Band will sit outside in this terrible weather, what is tO' be done ? Milo proposes billeting them, singly, here and there, through the carriages ; but the bare mention has excited a rebellion amongst the equestrians, who wiU not consent to be treated worse- than the fiddlers ! The Commissary of Police has just sent to know if we have obtained a Ministerial permission to " assemble in vast numbers and for objects unnamed." I have got one of the G-erman Nobles to settle this difficulty, whi^i, in Milo's hands — if he only heard of it — might become formidable. Happily, he is now engaged " telling off" the Band, and selecting from the number such as we can find room to accommodate. The- permission has been accorded, the carriages are drawing up, the guests are taking their seats, we are ready — we are off. v2 292 THE DODD TAMILT ABEOAB. Saturday Morning. Deaeest Kittt, Mr. Cavendish has just sent me word that the Courier will start in half an hour, so that I have only time for a few lines. Gloomily as the day broke yesterday, its setting at evening was infinitely sadder and more sorrowful. Never did a prospect of pleasure prove more delusive ; never did a scene of enjoyment terminate more miserably. Tears of anguish, of passion, and of shame, blot my words as I write them. You must not ask me to describe the course of events, when my mind has but room for the sad catastrophe that closed them ; but in a few brief lines I will endeavour to convey to you ■what occurred. Our journey to Eberstein, from being all up hill and over roads terribly cut up by weather, was a slow process. The procession, some of the riders remarked, had a most funeral look, winding along up the zig-zags of the mountain, and on a day which assuredly sug- gested few thoughts of pleasure. I can only answer for my own companions ; but they, I am bound to say, were in the very worst of tempers the whole way, discussing the whole plot of the excursion with — considering Mamma's share in it — a far greater degree of candour than politeness. They ridiculed Pic-nics in general ; pro- nounced them vulgar, tiresome, and usually "failures." They in- sinuated that they were the resources of people who felt more at ease in the semi-civiUsed scramble of a country party than amid the more correct courtesies of daUy life ! As to the " diner sur I'herbe " itself, it was a shocking travestie of a real dinner. Spiders and cock- roaches settled in your sbup, blackbeetles bathed in your Cham- pagne, wasps contested your fruit with you, and you were lucky if you didn't carry back a scorpion or a snake in your pocket. Then the company came in for its share of comment. So many people crept in that nobody knew, nobody acknowledged, and apparently nobody had invited. Ton always, they said, found that all your objectionable acquaintances dated from these parties. Lastly, they were excursions which no weather suited, no toilette became ! If it were hot, the sufferings of sun-scorching and mosquitoes were in- sufferable. If it proved bad ajid rainy, they were in the sad situa- tion of that very moment ! As to dress, who could fix upon a cos- tume to be becoming in the morning, graceful in the afternoon, and fresh and radiant at night. In a word, Kitty, J)hey said so much, and so forcibly, that nothing but great constraint upon my feelings saved me from asking, " "Why, in Heaven's .name, could they have consented to come upon an excursion, every detail of which was a sorrow, and every step a suffering?" THE BODD TAMIir ABBOAB. 293 No other theme, however, divided attention with this calamitous one ; and as we toiled languidly up the mountain side, you can fancy with what pleasant feelings the way was beguiled. At last we reached the Castle; but fresh disappointment here awaited us. Although parties were admitted to see the Schloss and the grounds, they would not obtain leave to dine anywhere within the precincts. "We begged hard for a room in the porter's lodge, the laundry, the stable, even the hayloft ! but all without success. We at length capitulated for a moss-house, where the rain came filtered down through a network of foliage and birds' nests ; but even this was refused. What was to be done? The army was now Uttle short of mutiny ; a violent debate was carried on from carriage windows ; and strong partisans of particular opiaions went slopping about, with tucked-up trousers and huge umbrellas, trying to enforce their own views ! Some were for an equitable distribution of the eatables on the spot. "Food commissaries," as the Grermans ex- pressed it, being chosen, to allot the victuals to each coach, some were for a forcible entry into the Castle, and an occupation by dint of arms ; others voted for a return to Baden ; and lastly, a small section, which gradually grew in power and persuasiveness, suggested that, by descending the opposite side of the mountain, we should reach a little inn in the Moorg Thai, much frequented by fishermen, and where we were sure to find shelter at least, if not something more. The "Anglers' East" was now adopted as our goal; and thither we started, with some slight tinge of renewed hope and pleasure. , Our journey doum was nearly as slow as that up the mountain ; for the steep descent required the greatest caution, with heavily-laden and jaded horses. It was, therefore, already dark when we reached the Anglers' Eest. All that I could see of this " Hostel," from the rain-streaked glasses of the carriage, was a small, one-storied house, built over the stream of a small but rapid river. Mountains, half wrapped in mists, and seeming to smoke with the steam of hot rain, environed the spot on all sides, which probably, in fine weather, would have been picturesque, and even pretty. " We are destined to be unlucky to-day, Princess," said a young French Marquis, approaching our carriage. " This miserable ' Grin- guette,' it seems, is full of people, who are by no means disposed- to yield the place to us." " Who are they— what are they ?" asked she, in haughty astonish- ment at their contumacy. " They are, I believe, some young tradesfolk, on, what is called in Germany the ' Wander- Jahre'— that travelling probation that Muni- cipal Law dictates to native handicraft." 294 THE DODD I'AMILT abeoad. ■ But, surely, -when they liear who we are- " Q-raf Adelberger has been eloquently explaining that to them the last ten minutes, and the Baron von Badenschwill has told them of his eighteen quarterings ; hut though they have consented to drink his health, they will not abdicate the territory." Here was a pretty proof of what the years '48 and '49 had done for the Continent of Europe, and maybe Blum, Kossuth, Mazzini, and Co., didn't come in for their share ! To think of creatures — shoe- makers, who could assure ns they were, might be tailors — daring to proclaim that they preferred their own ease and comfort to that of carriages fuU of unknown but titled individuals. " It's impossible!" "Incredible!" "fabulous!" "Infamous!" " Monstrous !" were expressions screamed from carriage to carriage, while telegraphic signs of horror and amazement were exchanged from window to window. " Did they know who we were ?" " Do they know who I am ?" were the questions incessantly pouring forth. Alas ! they had heard it aU. There was not a claim we could prefer to greatness that they had not before them, and, alas ! they remained inexorable ! Deputations of various nations went in, and came back baffled and unsuccessful. The " Burschen," as they were called, were at that very moment impatiently waiting for their own supper, and seemed to verify the adage of the ill-result of arguing with hungry men. Milder and more practicable counsels now began to prevail amongst ns, and some even of the most conservative hinted at compromise and accommodation. What if we were to share with some of the vast abundance that we had with us ? "What if we tried bribery ? The " Pood Commissaries" assured us that, even after the most liberal allowance for our wants, we could feed a moderately-sized village. The proposal was therefore framed, and two Germans of high rank persuaded — sorely against their prejudices and inclination — to convey it to " Das Polk " — the populace. It seemed as though the memorable years I have referred to, had taught some curious lessons in popular force ; for the demands of the masses indicated strength and power. They stipulated, first, that they should hold the kitchen ; secondly, that the meats assigned them should be set before them uncut ; and lastly, that none of our servants were to be quartered on the table. Here was the " Monarchy of the Middle Classes" proudly enunciated ; and, I assure you, many excellent things were said by all of us — not only upon the past and the present, but on " what we were coming to !" If I weary you with this detail, Kitty, it is that you may sympa- thise with me in the fatigue the long discussion inflicted. We were THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAD. 295 fuUy three-quarters of an hour at the door ere the treaty was con- cluded. Then came the descent from the carriages, the xmpacking of the eatables, the unrolling of the life-mummies that were to consume them, which, wrapped up as they were in soaked drapery, was a long process. I shall not delay you with an account of the distribution of the proggery, but content myself with stating that the two deputies accredited by the "Trades' " union to receive their share, acknow- ledged that we behaved not only well, but with mimificence ; since not only did we bestow upon them the grosser material of a meal, but many of the higher refinements of a great entertainment ; in particular, a large game pasty, representing a feudal fortress, with a flag waving over it, on which the enthusiastic cook had inscribed the words, " Hoch Lebe die Dodd," or " the Dodd for ever." It was a vulgar dish, Kitty, and by my own special diplomacy was it consigned to the second table. At length we were seated at table, but only for new disappoint- ment. Milo, in telLing off the band, had made the irreparable blunder of leaving all the flute, clarionet, and horn players behind; and there we were, vrith kettle-drums, trombones, and ophocleides enough to have stunned a garrison. They could beat a "g6n6rale," it is true, .but there ended their orchestral powers. This stupid mistake, how- ever, gave room for laughter, and, in spite of our annoyance, we laughed at it long and heartily. I am spared the painful task of recording the catastrophe of our story, by a message from Mr. Cavendish, to say that the Courier is starting. Indeed, his carriage is now at the door, and I must say, Xitty, that the handsomest men in our Diplomacy are the Mercuries. They dress so becomingly, too — something betweena Hussar and Lord Byron ; their pelisses of rich furs, their slashed frocks, and Polish caps, harmonising beautifully with their mingled air of intrepidity and gentleness. Mr. Dudley Vignerton, who takes this, is remarkably good-looking — something of George Canning, with a dash of Count D'Orsay. I wish, however, he would let me finish these few lines in peace, for he keeps on complimenting 'me about my hair, and my handwriting, and I don't know what besides. He offers, also, to bring me shoes from Palis, for really G-ermany is too bad ! He is a strange man, Eatty, and I regret not to see more of him ; he looks at once so bland and so determined. He tells me' that the adven- -turous nature of the life he leads makes a man at once daring and enduring — about equal parts Lamb and Lion. Don't you wish to see him ? Tours, in great haste, M. A. D. 296 THE DODD TAMILT ABEOiLD. LETTEE XXXII.- JAMBS DODD TO EGBERT DOOLAN, E8(l., TEINITT COLLEGE, DUBLIN. " The Fox," Lichtenthal. Mt Deae Bob, I PEOMisED to give you the earliest intelligence of the Governor's return ; and this is to inform you that the agreeable incident in ques- tion occurred on "Wednesday last, accompanied, however, by circum- stances which I must call " attenuantes," that is to say, considerably impairing the felicitous character of the event. "We — that is, the Dodd Macarthy portion of the family, for so we had already consti- tuted ourselves — had organised a most stunning Pic-nic ; one of those entertainments which are the great facts of a season, just as certaia battles are the grand incidents of a campaign : we had secured every- thing that Baden contained of company and cuisine, and we did not leave a turkey, a truffle, nor a titled individual in the whole village. La Mere Dodd had in fact resolved on one of those great Cov/ps de Tete, which, in the social as in the political world, are needed to terminate a difficult position, and, as the journalists say in Erance, " legitimize the situation." How I love a phrase that permits one to escape the pettiaess of a personal detail by some grand and sweeping generality ! The Pic-nic is to the fashionable world what a General Election is in that of politics. It is a brief orgie, in which each condescends to acquaintaaceship, or even intimacy, without in the slightest degree pledging himself to future consequences. Tou, as it were, pass out of the conventional limits of ordinary life, and take a "day rule" for indiscretions. The natural consequence is, that people will come to you, in this way, that no efforts could seduce into your house ; and the great Lady, who would scorn your attentions on a Turkey carpet, will suffer you to carve her chicken, and iiU her champagne glass, when seated on the grass. " Oh ! I don't know him. I saw him somewhere— on a Steamer, or at a Pic-nic, perhaps." This spoken, with a stare of ineffable unconcern, is the extent of the recognition accorded to you after. At first, when you caU to mind the way you struggled to get her sherry, how you fought for the lobster, and de- scended to , actual meanness for the mustard, you are disposed to fancy yourself the most injured, and her the most ingrate of man- THE BOBD FAMILY ABEOAD. 297 kind ; but you soon learn to perceive that this is the law of these cases, and that you are not worse treated than your fellows. I leave you to conjecture why we deemed a Pic-nic an essential stroke of policy. I assure you it was a question weU and maturely discussed in our cabinet. We knew it to be a measure from which there was no retreating when once entered upon; we also knew that the Governor's return would utterly render such a course impossible. It was now or never -with. us. "Would that it had been never ! But to proceed. Everything, even from the start, promised badly ; the day broke it torrents of rain ; it was like one of those days of Irish Pic-nic at the " Dargle," where a drowned family squat imder a hedgeto eat soaked sandwiches. We set out, in bad humour, determined to " take out our pleasure excursion" under difficulties ; a proceeding about us sensible as that of a man who, having sprained his ankle on his way to a ball, stiU insists upon waltzing. At Eberstein, where we had purposed to dine, they would not admit us. It is a Eoyal residence, and although, usually, there was no permission necessary for parties wishing to pass the day there, an order from the Court had closed the Castle against all Pic-nic-aries ; a fact not made more palatable to us by the information that it was the misconduct of some interesting individuals of the family of the Simkins, the Popkins, or the Perkins, which had provoked the edict in question. And here I must say, Bob — and I say it in deep sorrow — that we are either grossly calumniated abroad, or else very grievous faults attach to us, since every scratched picture, every noseless statue, every chipped relic, and every flawed marble, is sure of being assigned to the work of English fingers. I repeat, I have no means of knowing if the accusation be wrongful or not ; at all events, I conclude it to be greatly exaggerated beyond truth. If scratching and mutilating, "the chalking and maiming acts" against works of art, be popular practices of travellers generally, it foUows that as we English supply a very large majority of the earth's vagabonds, that a vast number of these offences must fall to our share ; but I sincerely hope we do not deserve our wholesale reputation, nor possess any exclusive patent for barbarism. I argue the point as the Priest used to do at home about Catholics and Protestants, when he triumphantly asked, " Why white-faced sheep eat more than black-faced?" and having puzzled us all, answered, " Because there are more of them !" And that's the reason the EngHsh commit more breaches of decorum than their neighbours. Eely upon it. Bob, the simple illustration is very widely applicable ; and whenever you hear of our derelictions abroad, please to remember it. 298 THE DQDD rAMLLT ABHOAD. As we could not gain admittaaice to Eberstein, it became a grand subject of debate what to do. The prudent said, " Gro back." Is it not strange, Bob ? but there is an almost stereotyped uniformity ia wise counsellors, and that whenever a difficulty arises in Life, they all cry out, "Go back." I conclude that this is the whole secret of the Tory party, and that all the reputation they have acquired of " safe," " prudent," and so forth, has no other basis than this simple maxim. Upon the present occasion, " the Progresistas" carried the day — ^we went on ! A little wayside Inn — the resort of a few summer visitors — was to be our destiaation ; but, when we arrived there, it was to find the house crammed with a most motley rabble, a set of those wandering artisans which, from some singular notion of her own upon the vir- tues of vagabondism, Germany sends forth broadcast over her whole land ; the law requiring that each tradesman should travel for a year, or, in some states, two years, before he can obtain permission fi-om the municipality of his own town to reside at home. Now, as these individuals are rarely or never persons of independent fortune, but rather of scanty and precarious means, the " Wander-Jahre," as the year of travel is called, is usually a series of events vibratiag be- tween roguery and begging, and at aU. events little conducive to those habits of orderly, patient industry which, in. England at least, are deemed the highest qualities of a labouring man. "Wherever you travel in Germany you are certain to find droves of these people on the road, their heavy knapsacks covered with an im- dressed calf-skin, and usually decorated at either extremity by a Wellington boot, " pendant," but not " proper," their long pipes and longer beards, their well-tuned voices — for they always sing — and, lastly, their unblushing appeals to your charity, proclaim them to be " Lehre-Junge," or apprentices. Biit [you must not fall into the absurd mistake of one of our weU-knowm Engliah waiters on Ger- many, who has called them traveUing students, and thereupon mo- ralised long and learnedly on the poverty of Life and the cheapness of Education in that country. Occasionally, it is true, a student of the very humblest class wiU associate himself with these " youths ;" but even he will be the exception, and the University to which he belongs one of the very lowest in rank. I should ask your forgive- ness for this long and wide digression, my dear Bob, were it not that I know that whenever I speak of matters which are new and unfe- miliar to you, I am at least as interesting as by any purely personal history. Tou would like to hear a thousand traits of foreign life and manners, far better than I am capable of communicating them. THE DODD rAMILT ABEOiAB. 299 Our Inn, as I have said, was full of these " gents," and no persuasion of OUTS, no threats, nor any flatteries, could induce them to vacate the territory in our favour. In fact, they presumed to reason upon the case, on the absurd presumption that rain would wet and wind chill them, and positively resisted all our assurances to the contrary. We ended by a compromise ; they gave us the parlour, and retired to the kitchen, we, purchasing the concession by sundry articles of consumption, such as fowls, ham, preserves, and a pasty, to be by them devoured as their own proper and peculiar prog. The selection, which was made by a special commission named by both sides, was rather an amusing process, though probably prolonged a little beyond the limits of ordinary patience. At length the treaty was concluded, the price paid, the territory evacuated, and we sat down ourselves to table, I will not say in the very happiest of humours, for throughout the whole of the negotiation our pride and self-esteem were at each moment receiving the very rudest buffets, Princes, Dukes, Counts, and Barons as we were ! It was a sore lesson we were acquiring ; and, as a great man of our party remarked, " The canaille had ap- parently been taught little or nothing by the last two years." A fact not so difficult to entertain, when one remembers that those whose education is conducted by grape and musketry are seldom left to evidence the advantages of the system, and the survivors are the " naughty boys who have learned nothing." Our first disappointment was rather a laughable one, though certes in itself a bore. In the hnrry of leaving Baden, a selection of the town band of musicians was made, as we had not carriage-room for the whole ; but by ill-luck it was the rejected we had taken, and there we were with drums, cymbals, trombones, and an ophocleide, but not a flute, flageolet, or a Prench horn ! Tou may fancy the attempt to perform the overture to " WiUiamTell" with such appliances. Crash after crash it went, drowned in our own uproarious laughter, or louder cries of horror and disgust. "We had scarcely raUied, some, from the amusement, others, from the annoyance produced by this event, when a tremendous uproar outside the door attracted our attention. It sounded like an attempt being made to establish a forcible entry into our apartment, and vigorous resistance ofiered. So it proved, by the account of certain wounded and disabled who fell back to tell us of the .affi-ay. " The Trades" were in reality in open insurrection, and marching upon us, "headed," as the Trombone said, "by a stout, elderly man of savage appearance." To orgamise a resistance would have been impossible, with Countesses fainting on every side. Duchesses in hysterics. The men of our party, too, 300 THE DODD PAJMILT ABBOAB. avowed that without an armoury of gune, pistols, and cutlasses, they were powerless. As to smashing up a chair, or seizing a table-leg, they had no idea of it ; so that I saw myself the only combatant in a room full of people, who, by way: of fitting me for my task, threw themselves around my neck and on my back in a fashion far more flattering than favourable. By great exertions I wrested myself free from my " backers," and, bounding over the table with a formidable old tongs in my hand, I reached the' door just as it gave way to the assaulting party, and came flat down off the hinges, discovering the forlorn hope of the enemy led on by — oh, shame and disgrace inefiable ! — no other than my father himself ! There he was, Bob, without his coat, with a large saucepan in one hand for a shield, and a kitchen cleaver in the other. He vociferously cheered on his followers to the breach. I own to you that, what with his patched and poor attire, his long beard, and his moustaches, I scarcely- knew him. His voice, however, there was no mistaking ; and, at the first word he uttered, I grounded my arms in surrender. It' turned out that some infernal device in pastry had communi- cated to him the intelligence that it was Mrs. D; was the entertainer of the gorgeous company, the crumbs from whose sumptuous table he and his friends were then consuming. Maddened with the indignity of his position, and outraged at her extravagance, he tossed off two tumblers of sherry to give him courage, and cried out to his partisans " to charge !" I have often heard that no description can convey even the faintest notion of the horrors of a town taken by assault. I now believed it. For the same good reason, you will not expect of me to portray what I own to be beyond my pictorial powers. I can, it is true, give you the ingredients, as Lord Macartney did those of a plum-pudding to the Chinese cook, but you must yourself know how to mingle and combine . them. Take thitsty ladies of various ages, from sixteen to sixty^ and of all nations of Europe, with gents to match ; throw them into strong convulsions of fright, horror, fun, or laughter, amidst smashed crockery, broken glass, upset viands, and drinkables; beat them up with some ten or twelve travellers of unwashed appearance, neither civU of speech nor ceremonious in con- duct ; dash the mixture with Dodd Pere in a state of frenzied passion, to which he gave short and per saltim utterance in such phrases as " Spitzbuben," " Coquins," « CanaiUe," " Scoundrels," « Gueux," " Blackguards," &e. ; a vocabulary that, even without a laboured con- text, seemed sufficiently intelligible. The company took Lady Mac- beth's hint ; they didn't stand upon the order of their going, " they THE DODD TAMILT ABEOAfl. 301 went at once." I do not believe that a party ever separated with greater despatch, and less useless ceremony. A few of the " greatly overcome" were, indeed, led out between friends, " unconscious ;" but the mass fled with a laudable precipitancy, leaving the field to my Pather and the rest of the Dodd family — a group, I beg to say, that nothing but a painter could properly render. That it may one day be thought worthy of a fresco, let me record it. Poreground, and principal figure,' Dodd Pere, seated Marius-Kke amidst the ruins, cravat in one hand,' turban of a spoiled Countess inadvertently grasped in the other ; countenance strongly marked with intense perplexity, a kind of universal doubt of everything ; pre- vaUirig impression of the figure, power, but power weakened by incredulity. Middle distance, Maiy Anne Dodd, dishevelled and weeping, gracefully draped, and the attitude well chosen. Jlxtreme distance, Dodd Mere, seated on the floor, with a student's cap stuck on, over her own toque, evidently horror-struck and uncon- scious, as seen by the wild stare of her eyes, and the half open lips. Dodd Kls, dimly detected in the shadow, of left foreground, mixing brandy-and-water. . There's the tableau ; the smaller details are, a universal smashery, with -occasional vestiges of that part of the creation consigned to hair- dressers, tailors, and milliners, of, which the ground displays various curious specimens, in scalps, fronts, ringlets, and tufts, scraps of lace, tucters, and trinkets, with skirts of coats, cravats, and a false calf! Had these been all that the company left behind them. Bob, it might have been bearable, but, alas ! they had bequeathed to us other relics. Their contempt, their very lowest contempt! Even my Father's IVench was intelligible enough to show what he claimed, and what we coidd not deny him to be ! Ton can fancy, therefore, the im- pression they must have conceived of us ! One of the worst features of this unlucky occurrence was, that it happened at Baden. Baden is, so to say, one of those great banking- houses at which a note is sure to be presented at some period or other of its circulation, and here we were now — declared a " forgery," pro- nounced "not negociable !" These were the bitter thoughts which each of us had now to revolve in secret; tormenting our several ingeniuties to find a remedy for the evU. The Governor was apparently the first of us to rally, for he turned round at last to the table, cleared a small spot for his opera- tions at a corner, helped himself to some of a game pie, and began to eat like one who had not relished such delicacies for some time back. 302 THE BODD BAMILT A.BBOAD. " May I give you a glass of Champagne, sir?" said I, seeing that he was " going in" with an air of determination. " With all my heart," responded he; "hut I think you might as well open a fresh bottle." I did so, Bob, and followed it by another, of which I partook also. " There are some excellent fellows out there in the kitchen," said the G-overnor. " There's a little lame tailor from Anspach, and an ivory-turner from the town of Lindau, both as agreeable companions as ever I journeyed with. Take them out that pie, James, and let the waiter fetch them half a dozen bottles of this red wine. Pay Jacob — he's the tailor — four florins that I borrowed from him ; and beg of Herman, a little Jewish rogue, with an Astracan cap, to keep my tobacco-bag, out of remembrance of me. TeU the assembled com- pany that I'll see them all by-and-by, for, at present, I have some family affairs to look after. Be civil and courteous with them, James, they aU have been so to me ; and if you'll sit down at the table for half an hour, and converse with them, take my word for it, boy, you'U not rise to go away without being both wiser and humbler." I set about my mission with a willing heart. I was glad to do anything which should give the Grovernor even a momentary satisfac- tion ; and I was well pleased, also, to mark the calm, dispassionate tone of his language. The " Lehre- Junge" received me with a most respectful courtesy, in which, however, there was not the very slightest taint of subserviency or meanness. They showed me that they reaUy felt kindly, and even affectionately, towards my father, who had been their companion for the last nine days on foot. They enjoyed in a high degree the dry humour which he possesses, and they relished his remarks on the country, and the people, through which they travelled, savouring as they did of a caustic shrewdness perfectly new to them. In fact, I soon saw that his frank temperament, enriched by that native quaintness every Irishman has his share of, had made him a prime favourite with them, and they were equally disposed to be flattered by his acquaint- anceship as attached to himself. I sat with them till past midnight. Indeed, when I heard that our family had ordered bedrooms, and retired for the night, I was not sorry to dissipate my cares, even in much humbler society than I had left home to foregather with. It is not necessary I should make any confession to you of my xm- lettered ignorance, nor ovra. how deplorably deficient I am in every branch of knowledge or acquirement. I was a stupid schoolboy, and an idle one, and the result is not very difiScult to imagine ; and yet, with all these disadvantages, I h^ive a lazy man's craving for informa- THE DODD TAMIIiT ABEOiLD. 303 tion,.if I only could obtain it easily. I'd like to be cured, if the Doctor would only make the physic palatable. Now, will you believe me, Bob, when I. say, that these poor travelling tradesfolk, patched and threadbare as they were, talked upon subjects of a very high cha^ racter, and discussed them, too, with a shrewdness and propriety perfectly astonishing. I had been living in Germany for some six or eight months, and yet now, for the first time, did I hear mention made of the popular literature of the day — ^who were the writers most in vogue, and what modifications pubUo taste was imdergoing, and how the mystical and the imaginative were giving way before a prac- tical common-sense and common-place spirit more adapted to the exigencies of our age. This, I must observe, they entirely ascribed to the influence of England, which they described as being paramount on the Contineat since the Peace. Not alone that the vast hordes of our nation flooded every land of Europe, but that our mechanical arts, our inventions, and our literature, pervaded every nook and crevice of the Continent. As the Tailor said, "It is not alone that we conform to your notions in dress, and endeavour to make our coats loose and square- skirted, to look English, but there is an Anglo-mania in all things, even where we will not confess it. Our novelists, too, have followed the fashion, and instead of those dreamy conceptions, where the possible and impossible were always in conflict, we have now domestic stories, ay, even before we have domesticity itseK." I do not quote my friend Jacob for anything remarkable iu the sentiment itself, though I believe it to be just and true, but to show the general tone of a conversation maintained for hours by a set of poor artisans, not one of whom would not be well contented could he earn a shiUing a day. Perhaps you wiU ask me, if, in their several trades, these fellows were the equals of our own ? In all probability they were not. The Kkehhood is, they were greatly inferior, as in every detail of the useful and the practical G-ermany is far behind us ; but it is strange to speculate on what such a people may, or might, become,, if their institutions should ever conform to the development of their natural iateUigence. This again is the Tailor's remark — and I could " cab- bage " from him for hours together. I thought a hundred times of you. Bob. How you would have enjoyed this strange fraternity. "What amusement — not to say something better and higher — ^you would have extracted from them. What traits of native humour — what studies of character ! As for me, much, by far the greater part, was lost upon me for want of pre- 304 THE DODD TAMILT ABEOAD. vioTis knowledge of the subjects they, discussed. Of the kingdoms whose politics they canvassed, I scarcely knew the names ; of the books, I had not even heard the titles ! I have no doubt many of their opinions were incorrect ; much of what they uttered might have been illogical or inaccurate ; but making a wide allowance for this, I was struck by the general acuteness of their remarks, and the tone of moderation and forbearance that characterised all they said. This brief intercourse has at least taught me one thing — ^whioh is not to look down with any depreciating pity on the troops of these wayfarers we pass on the road, still less to ridicule their absurd appear- ance, or make a jest of their varied costume. I now know that amidst those motley figures are men of shrewd intelligence and culti- vated minds, content to follow the very humblest callings, and quite satisfied if their share of this world's good things never rise higher than black bread and a cup of sour wine. I should like greatly to see something more of the gipsy Hfe they lead, and if ever the op- portunity ofier, shall certainly not suffer it to escape me. We left the Inn of the Moorg Thai at daybreak, my Mother and Mary Anne in one carriage, the Grovernor and myself in a little open caleche. He spoke little, and seemed deep in thought all the way. From an occasional expression he dropped, I dreaded to surmise that he had resolved on returning to Ireland. One remark which he made of more than ordinary bitterness was, " If we go on as we are doing, we shall at length close every town of Europe against us. We left Brussels in shame, and now we quit Baden in disgrace : the sooner this ends, the better." We did not proceed the whole way to Baden, but stopped about a mile from it, at a village called Lichtenthal, where we found a com- fortable Inn, with moderate charges. Prom this I was despatched to oiu* Hotel, after nightfall, to arrange our affairs, settle our biU, fetch away our baggage, and make all necessary arrangements for depar- ture. I am free to own that I entered on my mission with no common sense of shame. I knew, of course, how our story had by this time become the table-tails of Baden, and how, from the Prince to the Courier, "the Dodds" were the only topic. Such notoriety as this is no boon, and I confess, Bob, that I believe I could have submitted my hand to the knife, with less shrinking of the spirit, than I raised it to pull the door-bell of the H6tel de Eussie. When a man has to encounter any anticipated humiliation, he usually puts on an extra amount of offensive armour. I suppose mine, upon this occasion, must have been of unquestionable strength. TUB DODD FAMILY ABEOAD. 305 None seemed willing to put it to the proof. The Host was humble — ^the "Waiters cringing — the very Porter fawned on me ! The Secre- tary — at your ilash Hotels abroad they always have a Secretary, usually a Pole, who has an immense estate under sequestration some- where — this dread functionary, who, in presenting you the bill, ever gives you to understand that he is quite prepared to afford you personal satisfaction for any item in the score — even" he, I say, was bland, courteous, and gentle. I little knew at the moment to what circumstance I owed all this unexpected politeness, and that this silky courtesy was a very different testimony from what I suspected ; it being neither more nor less than the joyful astonishment of the household at seeing one of us again, and an amazement, rising to en- thusiastic delight, at the bare possibility of our paying our bill I Already in their estimation the "Dodd family" had been pronounced swindlers, and various speculations were abroad as to the value of the several trunk's, imperials, and valises we had left behind us. My Mother, in her abject misery — you may imagine the amount of it from the circumstance — had given me her bank-book, with fuU liberty to deal with the balance in her favour. In fact, such was her dread of encountering one of our former acquaintances, that I verily believe she would have agreed to an exile to Siberia rather than pass one week more at Baden. Ou.r bill was a swinging one. "With all the external show of politeness, I plainly saw that they treated us just as Napoleon used to treat a conquered nation whose imputed misconduct had outlawed it ! Por iis there was no appeal ; we could ■not threaten the indignation of powerful friends — the terrors of •fashionable exposure — not even the hackneyed expedient of a letter in the Times ! Alas ! we had ceased to be " reasonable and sufficient bail" for any statement. Such charges never were seen before, I'd swear. Dinners and suppers figured as unimportant matters. It was the "extraordi- naries" that ruined us ; for your Hotel-keeper is obliged, for very shame's sake, to observe a semblance of decorum in his demands for recognised items. It is in the indefinable that he revels ; just as your Greographer indulges every caprice of his imagination when liaying down the limits of land and water at the Pole ! It would not amuse, nor could it instruct you, ■ were I to give ' the details of this iniquitous demand. I shall therefore spare you all, save the "grand fact of the total, wherein • something less than six weeks' Uving of four people, with as many servants, amounts to a fraction under three hundred pounds sterling ! Meanwhile, the price of rooms, breakfasts, beds, &c., were all reasonable enough. It was 306 THE DODD PAMILT ABEOAD. " Eclairage," " Service," " Eeceptions Mardi," " Mercredi," and " Jeudi." These were the heavy artillery, to which aU the rest was a light-droppiBg fire. This Bill settling is iadeed an awful process ; for when you rally from the first horror-stricken feelings that the sum total calls up, and are blandly asked by the smirking Secretary " To what is it that Monsieur objects?" you are totally powerless and prostrated. Tour natural impulse would be to say, " To the whole of it — to that infamous row of figures at the bottom 1" In all probability, you never made a Hotel bUl in your Hfe. The wretches know this, and they feel the full force of your unhappy situation. Just fancy a surgeon saying, " What particular part of the operation do you dislike. Sir ? It can't be the first incision ; I made it in Cooper's method — one sweep of the knife. Tou surely have no complaint about the arteries — I took them up in eighteen seconds by a stop watch." " What do I care for all this ?" you answer. " I know nothing about science, but I am fuUy open to the impression of pain." Nothing, however, kills me Kke the fellow saying, " If Monsieur thinks the Lemonade too dear, we'll take off half a franc." Two-and-sixpence deducted from a BiU of three hun- dred poimds ! I went through aU this, and more. I went through special appeal cases, from twenty subordinates, on peculiar infractions of broken heads, smashed crockery, and damaged furniture, which each assured me in turn " would be charged against him," if Monsieur had not the " honourable consideration" — ^that's the formula — to pay it. I satis- fied some, I compromised with others ; I resisted none. No, Bob. There was no " locus standi," as you would call it, for oppositioiQ. None of the Dodds could come into Court, and claim to be heard, as witnesses. This agreeable function concluded, I drove off to the PoUce Com- missary about our passport. The "Authorities" had finished the duties of the day. The Bureau was closed., I asked where the "Authorities" lired, and was told the street and the number. I went there, but the " Authorities" were at their " Caf6." They liked " their dominoes and their beer ;" and why should they not have their weaknesses ! I hastened to the Cafe ; not one of those briUiaxitly decorated and lighted establishments where foreigners of aU nations foregather, but a dimJooking, musty, sanded-floored, smoke-dried den, fiUed with a company to suit. There was that mysterious half light, and that low whispering sound which seemed to form a fit atmosphere for spies and eavesdroppers, of which, I neffid scarcely tell you. Govern- ment officials are composed. By the guidance of the waiter, I reached the table where the Herr THE DODD rAMIIT ABEOAD, 307 Ton Schureke was seated at his dominoes. He was a beetle-trowed, scowling, Hi-conditioned looking gent of about fifty, who had a trick of coughing a hard dry cough between every word he uttered. " Ah," said he, after I explained the object of my visit, " you want your passport. Tou wish to leave Baden, and you come here to give your orders to the Polizey Beamten as if you were the Grand Duke !" I deprecated this intention in my politest German; but he went on : " Es geht nicht" — ^literally, " It's no go" — " my worthy friend. "We are not the officials of England. We are Badeners. We are the functionaries of an Independent Sovereign. Tou can't buUy us here, with your line-of-battle ships, your frigates, and bomb-boats." "No. Gottbewahr!" echoed the company; " that wiU do else- where — but Baden is free !" The enthusiasm the sentiment evoked brought all the guests from the several tables to swarm around us. I assured the meeting that Cobden and Co. were not more paci- ficaUy-minded than I was ; that as to anything like threat, menace, or insolence towards the Grrand Duchy, it never came within thou- sands of mUes of my thoughts ; that I came to make the civUest of requests, in the very humblest of manner ; and if, by iU-luck, the distiuguished functionary I had the honour to address should not deem either the time opportune, or the place suitable '' Tou'U make it an affair for your House of Commons," broke he in. " Or your Ti-mes newspaper!" cried another, converting the title of the Thunderer into a strange dissyllable. " Or your Secretary of State will teU us that you are a ' Civis Eomanus,' " wheezed out a small man, that I heard was Archivist of something, somewhere. " Britannia rule de waves, but do not rule de Grand Duchy," mut- tered a fourth, in English, to show that he was thoroughly imbued not alone with our language, but the spirit of our Constitution. " EeaUy, G-entlemen," said I, " I am quite at a loss for any reason for this laudable outburst of nationality. I disclaim the very re- motest idea of offending Baden, or anything belonging to it. I entertain no intention of converting my case into a question of international dispute. I simply wait my passport, and free permission to leave the Grrand Duchy and all belonging to it." This declaration was unanimously pronounced insolent, offensive and insulting ; and a vast number of unpleasant remarks poured down upon England and EngUshmrai, which, I need not teU you, are i2 " 308 THE DODD ITAMILT ABBOAB. not worth repetition. The end of all was, that I lost temper too — the wonder is how I kept it so long — and ventured to hint that people of my country had sometimes the practice of righting themselves, when wronged, instead of tormenting their Government or pestering the Times newspaper ; and that if they had any curiosity as to the Jiow, I should be most happy to favour any one with the information that would follow me into the street. There was a perfect Babel of angry vociferation as I said this ; the meaning of which I might guess, though the words were unintelligible ; and, as I issued forth into the street, expressions of angry indigna- tion and insult were actually showered upon me. I reached Lichten- thal late at night; the Grovernor was in bed, and I hastened to " report myself" to him. This done, I sat down to give you this full narration of our doings ; and only regret that I must conclude without telling you anything of our future plans, of which I know actually nothing. I should have spared you the uninteresting scene with the authorities, if you had not asked me, in your last, " Wbether the respect felt towards England by every foreign nation did not invest the travelling Englishman vfith many privileges and immunities unknown to others ?" I have heard that such was once the case. I WeUeve, indeed, there was a time that a^y absurdity or excess of John Bull would have been set down as mere eccentricity — a dash of that folly ascribable to our insular tastes and habits ; but this is all changed now ! Partly from ova own conduct ; in part from real, and sometimes merely imputed, acts of our rulers ; and partly from the tone of our Press, which no foreigner can ever be brought to imder- stand aright, we have got to be thought a set of spendthrift, wealthy, reckless misers, lavish and economical by turns, socially proud and exclusive, but politically red republican and levelling— tyrants in our families, and democrats in the world ; in fact, a sort of living mass of contradictory qualities, not rendered more endurable by coarse tastes and rude manners ! This, at least, Morris told me, and he is a shrewd observer, like many of those sleepy-eyed, quiet " coves" one meets with. Not that he reads individuals like Tiverton! No; George is unequalled in ready dissection of a man's motives, and will detect a dodge before another begins to suspect it. I wish he were back ; I feel frequently so helpless without his counsel and advice. The Turf is, surely, a wonderful school for sharpening a man's faculties, and it gives you the habit of connecting words with motives, and asking yourself, " "What does so and so mean by that ?" " "What is he up to now?" That, at last, you decipher character, let its lines be vsritten in the very faintest ink ! Our post leaves at daybreak, so that I shall just have time for this. THE I) ODD lAMIXY iBEOAD. 309 When I write next, I'll answer — that is, if I can — all your questions about myself, what I mean to do, and when to begin it.- Not, indeed, that they are themes I like to touch upon, for some- how all the quiet pursuits of life look wonderfully slow and tiresome affairs in comparison with the panoramic effects of travel. The per- petual change of scene, actors, and incidents, supplies in itself that amount of excitement which, under other circumstances, calls for so much exertion and effort. There is another thing, also, which has always given me great discouragement. It is, that the humbler walks of life require not only an amount of labour, but of actual ability, that are never called for in higher positions. Think of the work a fellow does as a Doctor or a Lawyer ; and think of the brains, too, he has to bring to these careers, and then picture to yourself a man in a Grovernment situation, some snug Colonial Grovemorship, or something at home — say, he's Secretary-at-War, or has some- thing in the household. He writes his name at the foot of an occasional report or a despatch, and he puts on his blue ribbon, or his Grand Cross, as it may be, on birthdarys. There's the whole of it ! As Tiverton says, " One needs more blood and bone now-a-days for the hack stakes than the Derby ;" he means, of course, in allusion to real life, and not to the Turf! Don't fancy that I take in iU part any remarks you make upon my idleness, nor its probable con- sequences. We are old friends. Bob ; but even were we not, I accept them as sincere evidence of true interest and regard, though I may not profit by them as I ought. The Dodds are an impracticable race, and in nothing more so than by fully appreciating aU their faults, and yet never making an effort for their eradication. Some people are civil enough to say how very Irish this is ; but I think it is only so in half, inasmuch as' our perceptions are sharp enough to show us, even in ourselves, those blemishes which your blear-eyed Saxon would never have discovered anywhere. Do you agree with me ? 'Whether or not, my dear Bob, continue to esteem and believe me, ever your affectionate friend, James Dodd. Though I am totally innocent as to our future, it is better not to write till you hear again from me, for of course we shaU leave this at once; but, where for? that's the question. 310 THE DODD FAMILY ABBOAS. LETTEE XXXin. KENNY JAMKB DODD TO MB. PUBCELL, OF THE GRANGE, BEUFF. Mt Deae Tom, I AM not in a humour for letter-writing, nor, indeed, for anything else that I know of. I am sick, sore, and sorry — sick of the world, sore in my feet, and sorry of heart that I ever consented to come out upon this touring expedition, every step and mUe of which is marked by its own misery and misfortune. I got back — I won't say home, for it would be an abuse of the word — on Wednesday last, I travelled all the way on foot, with something less than one-and- fourpence English for my daily expenses, and arrived to find my wife entertaining, at a Pic-nic, all Baden and its vicinity, with pheasants and Champagne enough to feast the London Corporation, and an amount of cost and outlay that would have made Dods- borough brilliant during a whole Assizes. I broke up the meeting, perhaps less ceremoniously than a Cabinet Council is dissolved at ' Osborne House, where the Minis- ters, after luncheon, embark — as the Court Journal teUs — on board the JB'airy to meet the express train for London. Valuable facts, that we never weary of reading ! I routed them without even read- ing the Eiot Act, and saw myself " master of the situation ;" and a very pretty situation it was. Now, Tom, when the best of two evUs at a man's choice is to expose his family as vulgar pretenders and adventurers — to show them up to the fine world of their fashionable acquaintances as a humbug and a sham — let me tell you that the other side of the medal cannot have been very attractive. This was precisely the case here. " It is not pleasant," said I to myself, " to bring all the scandal and slander of professional bad tongues upon an unfortunate family, but ruin is worse st'Ul !" There was the whole sum and substance of my calculation — " E.uin is worse still !" The Pic-nic cost above a him- dred pounds — the Hotel expenses at Baden amount to three hundred more — there are bills to be paid at nearly every shop in the town — and here we are, economising as usual, at a large Hotel, at, td say the least, the rate of some five or six pounds per day. That I am able to sit down and write these items, in a clear and legible hand, I take , to be as fine an example of courage as ever was given to the world. Talk of men in a fire — an earthqiiake — a shipwreck — or even the " last collision on the South-Eastern" — I give the palm to the man who can be calm in the midst of duns, and be collected when his debts cannot be. To be credited when you can no longer pay — to THE DODD TAMILT ABEOAD. 311 drink Champagne when you haven't small change for small beer, is enough to shake the boldest nerves ; it is exactly like dancing on a tight rope, from which you know in your heart you must ultimately come down with a crash. When one reads of any sudden calamity having befallen a man who has incurred voluntary peril, the natural question at once rises, " "What did he want to do ? What was he trying for ?" Now, sup- pose this question to be addressed to the Dodd family, and that any one should ask, " What did we want to do ?" I am sadly afraid, Tom, that we should be puzzled for the answer. I have no donbt that my wife would sustain a long and harassing cross-examination before the truth would come out. I am well aware of all the specious illusions she would evoke, and what sagacious notions she would scatter about education, accomplishments, modem languages, and maybe — mother like — great matches for the girls ; but the truth woiild out, at last — we came abroad to be something — ^whatever it might be — that we couldn't be at home ; we changed our Theatre, that we might take a new line of parts. We wanted, in short, to be in a world that we never were in before, and we have had our wish. I am not going to rail at fashionable life and high society. I am sure that, to those brought np in their ways, they are both pleasaiit and agreeable ; but they never were our ways, and we were too old when we began to learn them. The grand world, to people like us, is like going up Mont Blanc — fatigue, peril, expense, injury to health, and ruin to pocket, just to have the barren satisfaction of saying, " I was np there last August — T was at the top, in June." " What did you get for your pains, Kenny Dodd ? What did you see for all the trouble you had ? Are you wiser ?" "No." " Are you happier ?" "No." " Are you better inforpied ?" " ^o." " Are you pleasanter company for your old friends ?" "No." " Are you richer ?" "Upon my conscience, I am not ! All I Imow is, that we were there, and that we came down again." Aye, Tom, there's the moral of the whole story — we came doum again ! Had we limited our ambition, when we came abroad, to things reasonably attainable — had we been satis- fied to know and to associate with people like ourselves — had we sought out the advantages which certainly the Continent possesses in certain matters of taste and accomplishment, we might have got something at least for our money, and not paid too dearly for it. But, no ; the great object with us seemed always to be, swimming for our lives in the great ocean of fashion. And, let me tell you a secret, Tom; this grovelling desire to be amongst a set that we have no pretension to, is essentially and entirely English. No foreiguBr, so far as I have seen, has the vulgar vice of what is called " Tuft-hunt- 312 THE DODD FAMILT ABBOAD. ing." "When I see my countrymen abroad, I am forcibly reminded . of what I once witnessed at a show of wild beasts. It was a big cage full of monkeys, that were eating their dinner at a long trough, but none of them would taste what was before himself, but was always eatiag out of his neighbour's dish. It gave them the oddest look in the world ; but it is exactly what you see on the Continent ; and I'U tell you what fosters this taste more strongly than all. Our titled classes at home are a close borough, that men like you and myself never trespass upon. "We see a Lord as we see a Prize BuU at a cattle show, once and away in our lives ; but here, the Aris- tocracy is plentiful — Barons, Counts, and even Princes, abound, and can be obtained at the " shortest notice, and sent to any part of the town." Think of the fascination of this ; fancy the delight of a family like the Dodds, surrounded with Dukes and Marquises. One of the very first things that strikes a man on coming abroad ia the abundance of that kind of fruit that we only see at home in our hot-houses. Every ragged urchin is munching a peach or a melon, and picking the big grapes off a bunch that he speedily flings away. The astonishment of the Englishman is great, and he naturally thinks it all Paradise. But wait a bit. He soon discovers that the melon has no more flavour than mangel-worzel, and that the apricot tastes like a turnip radish. If they are plenty, they are totally deflcient in every excellence of their kind; and it is just the same with the Aristocracy. The climate is favourable to them, and the same sun and soil rears Princes and ripens pine-apples ; but they're not like our own, Tom ; not a bit of it. Like the fruit, they are poor, sapless, tasteless productions, and the very utmost they do for you is to give you a downright indifference to the real article. I know how it reads in the newspapers, in a letter dated from some far-away land, on a Christmas-day — " As I write, my window is open ; the garden is one sea of blossoms, and the perfume of the rose and the jasmine fill the room." Just the same is the effect of those wonderful paragraphs of distinguished and illustrious guests at Mrs. Somebody's soir6e. They are the common products of the soil, and they do not rise to the rank of luxuries with even the poor ! Don't mistake me ; I am not depreciating what is called high society, no more than I would condemn a particular climate. AU that I would infer is, simply, that it does not suit my constitution. It's a very common remark, how much more easily women conform to the habits and customs of a class above their own than men, and, so far as I have seen, the observa- •. tion is a just one ; but, let me tell you, Tom, the price they pay for this same plastic quality is more than the value of the article, for they lose all self-guidance and judgment by the change. Tour THE BODD TAMILT ABEOAJ). 313 quietly-disposed, domestic ones turn out gadders, your fclirifty house- keepers grow lavish and wasteful, your safe and cautious talkers become evil speakers and slanderers. It is not that these are the characteris- tics of the new sect they have adopted, but that, like all converts, they always begin their imitation with the vices of the Paith they conform to, and by way of laying a good foundation they start from the bottom ! If I say these things in. bitterness, it is because I feel them in sin- cerity. Poor old Giles Langrishe used to say that all the expenses of contested Elections, all the bribery and treating, all the cost of a Parliamentary life, would never have embarrassed him, if it wasn't for his wife going to London. " It wasn't only what she spent," said he, " while there ; but Molly brought Piccadilly back with her to the County Clare ! She turned up her nose at all our old neigh- bours, because they didn't know the Prussian Ambassador, or Che- valier Somebody from the Brazils." The only man that could fit her in shoes lived in Bond-street, and as to getting her hair dressed, ex- cept by a Prench scoundrel that made wigs for the Aristocracy, it was clearly impossible. And I'll tell you another thing, Tom, our ■wives get a kind of smattering of political knowledge by this trip to town, that makes them unbearable. They hear no other talk aU the morning than the cant of the House and the slang of the Lobby. It's a dodge of Sir James, or a sly trick of Lord John, that forms the gossip at breakfast ; and all the little rogueries of political life, all the tactics of party are discussed before them, and when they take to that line of talk they become perfectly odious. Haven't they their own topics. Isn't dancing, dress, the drama, enough for them, I ask ? — without even speaking of divorce cases — that they won't leave bills, motions, and debates to their husbands ? Whenever I see Mrs. Eoney, of Bally Eoney, or Mrs. Miles Mac Dermot, of Castle Brack, in the Mx/rning Post, among the illustrious company at Lady Wheedleham's party, I say to myself, "I wish your neighbours joy of you when you go home again, that's all !" And yet all this would have been better for me than this coming abroad ! I might have been member for Bruff for half the cost of this unlucky expedition! And this was economy, forsooth! Do you know how much we spent, hard cash, since March last ? I am fairly ashamed to tell you, Tom ; and though money lies mighty close to my heart, I don't regret the loss as much as I do that of many a good trait that we brought away with us, and have contrived to lose on the road. All this running about the world, this eternal change of place and people, imparts such an " Old Soldierism," if I may make the word, to a family, that they lose all that quiet charm of domesticity that forms the fascination of a home. 314 THE BODD FAMILY ABROAD. I'atters and mothers are worldly, as a matter of course. It comes upon them just like chronic rheumatism, or baldness, or any other infirmity of time and years, but it's hateful to see young people cal- culating and speculating ; planning for this, and plotting for that. Ton ask, perhaps, " "What has this to do with foreign trayel ?" and I say — " Everything." Tour young Lady that has Polka'd at Paris, Gralloped up the Ehine, Waltzed at Vienna, and Bolero' d at Madrid, has about as much resemblance to an English or Irish girl, brought up at home, as the show-off horse of a Circus has to a thorough-bred hunter. It's all training and teaching — very gracefal, perhaps, and pretty to look at — hut only fit for display, and worth nothing without lamps, sawdust, and spectators. Now, these things are not native to us, partly from climate, partly from old habit, prejudice, and natural inclination. "We like to have a Home. Our fireside has a kind of religious estimation in our eyes, associated as it is with that family grouping that includes everything from two years and a half to eighty —from the pleasant prattle of infancy to the harmless murmurings of grandpapa. The foreigner — I don't care of what nation, they are all alike — ^has no idea of this. His own house to him is only one remove above a prison. He has little light, and less fire ; neither comfort nor companionship ! Eor him, life means society, plenty of weU- dressed people, handsome salons, wai-Hghts, movement, bustle, and confusion. The din of five hundred tongues, that only wag for scandal, and the sparkle of eyes, that are only brilliant for wickedness. These foreigners are really wonderful people, so frivolous about all that is graye or serious, so sober-minded in every foUy and absurdity ; we never rightly understand them, and that is one reason ■frhy all our imitation of them is so ludicrous. Have you ever seen a fellow in a Circus, Tom, whose feat was to jump from a horse's back through some half-dozen hoops a little bigger than his body? He has kept this performance for his finish, for it is his chef d'oeuvre, and he wants to " sink in full glory resplendent." Somehow or other, though, he can't summon up pluck for the effort. Now the horse goes wrong leg — now it's the fault of the fellows that hold the hoops — ^now the pace is not fast enough ; in fact, nothing goes right with him, and there he spins roimd and round, wishing with all his heart it was done and over. I'm pretty much in the same plight this moment, Tom, at least as regard hesitation and indecision ; for while I have been rambling on about foreign life and manners, my mind was fuU of a very different theme ; but from downright shame have I kept off it, for I'm tired of recording all our miseries and mis- fortunes. Here goes, however, for the spring ; I can't defer it any longer. THE BODD PAMIIiT ABEOAB. 315 Since I came back, I haven't exchanged ten words with Mrs. D. It is an armed truce between us, and each stands ready, and only •waiting for the attack. If, however, I consign to oblivion all remem- brance of her extravagance, the chance is that she is to keep blind to my infidelity ! In a word, the Pic-nic and Mrs. G-. H. axe to be buried together. Of course the terms of our convention prevented my learning much of the family doings in my absence. Even had I moved for any papers or correspondence on the subject, I should have been met by a flat refusal ; and, in fact, I was left, the way poor Curran used to say of himself, to pick up my facts from the opposite counsel's statement. I was not long destined to the bliss of ignorance. Such a hurricane of bills and accounts I never withstood before. James, however, by what arts of flattery I know not, succeeded in getting hold of his mother's Bank-book, and went out, a few evenings ago, and paid everything ; aiid, that we might escape at once from this den of iniquity, went immediately to the Prefecture for our passport. The Commissary was at his Cafe, whither James followed him, and, some- how or other, an angry discussion got up between them, and they separated, after exchanging something that was not the compliments of the season. I'm so used to rows and shindies, that I went fast asleep while he was telling me of it ; but the following morning I was to have a jog to my memory that I didn't expect — no less than two Grensdarmes, with their carabines on their arms, having arrived to escort me to the " Bureau of the Police." I dressed accordingly, and set out alone ; for although James might have been useful in many ways, I was too much afraid Of his rashness and hot temper, to take him. We arrived before the door was open, and spent twenty minutes in the street, surrounded by a mixed assemblage, who commented upon me, and my supposed crime, with great freedom and impartiality. After another long wait in a dirty ante-room, I was ushered into a large chamber, where the great functionary was seated at a table covered with papers, and at a smaller one, close by, sat what I per- ceived to be his clerk, or private secretary. Of course I imagined it was for something that James had said the previous evening, that I was thus arraigned, and though I thought it was like reading the passage in the Decalogue backwards, to make the father suffer for the chU- dren, I resolved to be patient and submissive throughout. " Your name ?" said the Commissary, bluntly, but never offering me a seat, nor even noticing my " Good morning." " Dodd," said I, as shortly. " Christian name ?" " Kenny James." 316 THE DODD PAIIIIT ABBOJJ). ""Where born?" " At Bruff, in Ireland." "How old?" " Upwards of fifty — not certain for a year, more or less." " EeHgion ?" " CathoUc." " Married or single ?" "Married." " "With children — how many ?" " Three — a boy and two girls." " Do you follow any trade or profession ?" " No." " Living upon private means ?" " Yes." These, and a vast number of similar queries — they filled five sheets of long post — ^followed, touching where we came from, how we had travelled, our object in the journey, and twenty things of the like kind, till I begun to feel that the examination in itself was not a small penalty for a light transgression. At last, after a close scrutiny into all my family matters, my money resources, and my habits, he entered upon another chapter, which I own I thought was pushing the matter rather far, by saying : " Apparently, Herr Dodd, you are one of those who think that the Monarchies of Europe are obsolete systems of Government, iU suited to the spirit and requirements of the age. Is it not so ?" If I had only a moment's time for reflection, I should have said, " What is it to you how I think on these subjects ? I don't belong to your country, and wiU. render no account of my private sentiments to you;" but unfortunately a discussion on politics is always " nuts" to me — I can't resist it — and in I went, with that kind of specious generality, that lays down a broad and wide foundation for any edifice you like afterwards to rear. " Kings," said I, " are pretty much like other men — good, bad, or indifferent, and, like other men, they are not bettered by being left to the sway of their own unbridled passions and tempers. Wherever, therefore, there is no Constitution to bind them, the chances are, that they make ducks and drakes of their subjects." I must tell you, Tom, that we conducted our interview in English, which the Commissary spoke fluently. " The divine right of Kings, then, you utterly overlook ?" " I deny it— I laugh it to scorn," said I. •" Look at the fellows we see on thrones— one is a creature fit for Bedlam ; another ought to be in Norfolk Island. If they possessed any of this divine right TH^ BOBD I'AMILT ABBOAD. 317 ■ you talk of, sliOTiLd we have seen them scuttling away as they did the other day, because there was a row in their capitals ?" " That will do — quite enough," said he, stopping me short. " Tour sentiments are sufficiently clear and explicit. Tou are a worthy dis- ciple of your friend G-auss." " I never heard of him till now," said I. " Nor of Isaac Hentenstrom ? — nor Eeichard Blitzler ? — nor Jo- hann von Darg ?" "Not one of them." "This you swear?" " This I swear," said I, firmly; but the words were not well out, when the door was opened at a signal made by the Commissary, and an old man, with a very white beard, and in shabby black, was led forward. " Do you know the Herr Professor now ?" asked the Commissary of me. " No," said I, stoutly — " never saw him before." " Bring in the others," said he ; and, to my astonishment, came forward three of the young fellows I had travelled with on foot from Saxony, but whose names I had not heard, or, if heard, had for- •gotten. " Are these men known to you ?" asked the Prefect, with a sneer. " Tes," said I ; " we travelled in company for some days." "Ah! you acknowledge them at last?" said he, "although you swore you had never seen them." "Are you so stupid," said I, "as not to distinguish between a man's knowledge of an individual and his remembrance of a name ?" " You yourself might be a puzzle in that respect," replied he, not heeding my taunt. " Toil assumed one appellation at Bonn, another at Ems, and your family are living under a third here." " I deny it !" cried I, indignantly. "Here's the proof," said he. " Is this your wife's handwriting? ' Mrs. Dodd M'Carthy requests the favour of having two Gensdarmes stationed at the Hotel on each "Wednesday evening, to keep order in the line of carriages at her receptions.' Is that authentic ?" What a shell exploded beneath me, as I saw that I was tracked by the spies of the Police from tovra to village, up the Ehine, and half across Germany. The three youths with whom I was confronted were already condemned to prison. One had a tobacco-bag, with a picture of Blum on it ;' the other was detected with a case-knife, whose blade exceeded the regulation length by half an inch ; and the third was heard to say, " Germany for ever," as he tossed off a tumbler of beer ; and I was the associate and trusted comrade of this 318 THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAB. comtined Socialism and Democracy. It came out, that amongst otir fraternity of the road there had been a paid spy of the Police, who kept a regular journal of all our wayside conversation ; and from the singularity of an Englishman's presence in such a party, it was in- ferred that his object was to spread those infamous doctrines by which it is now well known England sustains her position in Europe. The absurdity I could laugh at, but there were some things in the matter not to be treated lightly. "With my name at Ems they had no possible concern. Ems was in Nassau, not Baden. "What could haye persuaded my wife to call herself Dodd M'Carthy ? "We were always Dodd ; we never had any other name. I couldn't explain this, nor even give it a colouring ; but I grew angry, Tom, vexed and irritated by the pestering impertinence of this pumping scoundrel. I said a vast number of things which had been better unsaid. I gave a great deal of good advice, too, about legislation generally, that I might have known would not have been accepted; and, in fact, I was what would be called generally indiscreet ; the more, since all my remarks were committed to paper as fast as I made them, the whole being cour- teously submitted to me for signature, as if I had been purposely making a confession of my political belief. " Give me my passport," cried I, at last, "and let me quit your little rascally territory of spies and sharpers. I promise you sacredly I'U never put foot in it again." " Not so fast, my worthy Mend," said he. " We must first know under which of your aliases you are to travel ; meanwhile, we shall take the liberty of committing you to prison as Herr Dodd !" "To prison! — for what crime?" cried I, nearly choking with passion. " Tou'H hear it all time enough," was the only response, as, ring- ing his bell, he summoned the Gensdarmes, who, advajuang one to either side of me, led me away, like a common malefactor. The Prison is a kind of Bridewell, over a livery-stable, and only meant as a " Station" before being forwarded to the larger establish- ment at Oarlsruhe. I suppose, had they wished it, they could not have accorded me any place of separate confinement ; for there was but scanty space, and many occupants. As it was, my lot was to be put in the same cell with two fellows just apprehended for a murder, and who obligingly entered into a full narrative of their, crime, be- lieving that my revelations would be equally interesting. I lost no time in writing a note to James, and another to our English ChargS d' Affaires, a young Attach^, I believe, of the Legation at Studtgart. James and the sucking Diplomatist were both out, so that I had no answer from either till evening. During this interval I had much THE BODD PAMIIiT ABEOAJ). 319 meditation over the state of politics in Grermany, and the probable future of that country, of -whicb. I shall take another occasion to tell you. At six o'clock came the following, enclosed in a very large envelope, and sealed with a very spacious impression of the English Arms : " Th& imdersigned Attache of H. B. M.'s Legation at the Court of Studtgart has the honour to acknowledge receipt of Mr. Kenny J. Dodd's communication of this morning's date, andwiU lay it under the consideration of H. B. M.'s Principal Secretary of State for Foreign Affairs." This was pleasant, forsooth ! And was I to remain in gaol till the despatch had reached London, a deliberation formed on it, and an answer returned ? I was boiling over with rage at this thought, when James entered. He had just been with our illustrious Charge d' Affaires, who received him with that diplomatic reserve so peculiar amongst the small fry of the Foreign Office. At the same time, James saw a lurking satisfaction in his manner at the thought of having got up a case of international dispute, which might have his name mentioned in the House, and possibly a despatch vidth Ms sig- nature printed in a Blue Book. He was dying for an opportunity of distinguishing himself, and Baden offered nothing to his ambition ; and all his fear was, that the Authorities might liberate me too soon. James perceived all this — for the lad is not wanting in shrewdness, and this continental Life, if it has not bettered his morals, has cer- tainly sharpened his wit ; but aE his arguments were unavailing, and all his reasonings useless. The despatch was already begun, and it was too good a grievance to let slip unprofitably. James next called on a friend of his, a certain Mr. MUo Blake O'Dwyer, who is the correspondent of a great London paper called the Sledge HLajvimee oe Feeedom ; but instead of advice and guidance, the worthy newsgatherer was taking down all the particukts for a grand letter to his journal ; and he, too, it was plain to see, wished that some outrageous treatment of me by the Authorities would make his communication the great event of that day's post in London. " I wish they'd put him in irons — ^in heavy irons," said he. " Are you sure that his cell is not eight feet below the surface of the earth ? Be particular, I beg of you, about the depth. Tou saw how Glad- stone destroyed that elegant case of Poerio, all for want of a little accuracy in his measurements ; for, I must observe to you, in all our ' correspondence,' names, dates, and distances, require to be true as the Bible. Facts admit of varnishing. They can be always stretched a little, this way or that. Now, for instance, we'll call the conduct of the Authorities in this case brutal, cowardly, and disgraceful. 320 THE DODD TAillLY ABHOAD. / ■ We'll appeal to the imiTersally aclmowledged right of Englishinen to do everything everywhere, and we'll wind up with a grand peroration about Despotism and the glorious privileges of the British Con- stitutidn." The fellow chuckled over my case with unfeigned satisfaction. He wouldn't listen to the real, plain facts of the matter at all. They were poor, meagre, and insignificant in themselves, till they had acqiiired the touch of genius to illustrate them ; and though I was a gem, as he owned, yet, like the Koo-i-noor, I was nothing, without cutting. He appears, besides, to think that he has a kind of vested in- terest in me, now that my case is to figure in his newspaper, and he contradicts my own statements flatly, wherever they don't suit him. I have just despatched James to assure him that I don't care a rush about the sympathy of the whole British public ; that I have no taste for Martyrdom ; and that, as to expending any hopes in redress from our Foreign OfSce, I'd as soon make an investment in Poyais Scrip, or Irish Canal Debentures. I trust that he will be induced to leave me alone, and neither make me matter for the Press nor a speech in Parliament. These reporters, or correspondents, or whatever they caU them, are, in my mind, the greatest disturbers of the Peace of Europe. The moment they assert anything, they set about looking for proofs of it ; and they don't know how to praise themselves enough, whenever they are driven to confess that they were in the wrong ; and then, if you mind, Tom, it is not to the Public they excuse themselves — not a bit of it ; it's the King of Naples, or the Emperor of Russia, or the Bey of Tifiis, that "they sincerely hope wiU not be offended by statements made after mature reflection and painful consideration of the topic." They throw out sly hints of all the Eoyal attentions that have been bestowed upon them, and the intimate habits they have enjoyed of confidence with the Queen of this, and the Crown Prince of that. Vulgar rapscallions ! they have never seen more of Eoyalty than what a Church or an Opera admits; and though Majesty now and then may feel the sting, take my word for it, he never notices the mosquito. If you, then, see me in print — and be on the look out — just write a letter in my name from Dodsborough, to say that I am well and hearty on my paternal acres, and know nothing of Politics, Police, or Eeporters, and would rather the Government would reduce the County Cess than persecute every Grand Duke in Europe. I wiU write again to-morrow. Tours ever, K. I. DODD. THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAD, 321 LETTEE XXXIV. KENNI JAMBS DODD TO THOMAS PUKCELL, ESQ., OF THE GRANGE, BRTjrP, " The Fox." Mt deae Tom, HowETEE Morris managed it I know not, but an order, came for my liberation that same evening, with, the assurance that my passport was to be made out for wherever I pleased to name, and the Prefect was to express to me his regrets and apologies for an inadvertence which he deeply deplored. It seemed that, but for diploJnacy, I'd not have been detained half an hour ; but our worthy representative of Great Britain had asked for copies of all the charges against me, so formally, had requested the names, ages, and station in life of the several witnesses, so circumstan- tially, and had, in fact, imparted such a mock importance to a Police impertinence, that the Grand Ducal authorities began to suspect that they had caught a first-rate revolutionist, with a whole trunk full of Kossuth and Mazzini correspondence. This comes of setting school- boys to write despatches ! The greedy appetite for notoriety — to be up and doing — to be before the world in some public capacity — of these juveniles, brings England intp more trouble, and Englishmen into more embarrassment, than you could believe. If they'd be satis- fied with recording Eoyal dinner-parties and Court scandal — who got the Order of the Guinea-pig, and who is to receive the "Tortoise," they couldn't do much harm ; but the moment they get hold of an international grievance, aud quote Pufiendorf, we have no peace on the Continent for six months after. " You wish to leave Baden," said Morris ; " where will you go ?" " I have not the slightest notion," said I. " I'm waiting for letters from Ireland — yours, my dear Tom, the chief of them — and therefore it must be somewhere in the vicinity." " Go over to Eastadt, then," said he, "and amuse yourself with the fortifications : they are now in course of construction, and when com- pleted win be some of the strongest in Europe. I'll give you a letter ' to the Commandant, who will show aU that can interest you, and ex- plain everything that you may wish to know." Eastadt is only twenty miles away ; it is, however, in all that regards intercourse with Baden, fuUy two hundred distant. It is cheap, rarely visited by strangers, has no " fashionables," and, in fact, just the kind of model prison re- sidence that I was wishing for to discipline the family, and get them once more " in hand." Thither, therefore, we remove to-morrow morning, if nothing un- foreseen should occur in the interim. Morris, as you may observe, Y 322 THE BODD FAMILT ABBOAI. tehayed most kindly in this affair; and, indeed, showed a strong interest in James, from certain remarks the boy himself has let drop ; but he seems cold, Tom ; one of those excellent fellows that are always doing the right thing for its own sake, and not for yonrs. I don't want to disparage principle, no more than I do a great balance at Contts's, or anything else that I don't possess myself; but I mean to say that, somehow or other, one likes to feel that it is to yourself, as an indi- vidual — to your own proper identity — a service is rendered, and not to a mere fraction of that great biped race that wear cloth clothes and eat cooked victuals. That's the way with the English, however, all over the globe, and I have often felt more grateful to an Irishman for helping me on with my surtout, than I have to John BuU for a real downright piece of service. I suppose the fault is more mine than his ; but the fact is true, and so I give it to you. I suppose, besides, that an impartial observer of both of us would say, that we make too much of every favour, and the Englishman too little ; we exact all the obligation of a debt for it, they treat the whole thing lightly, as if the service ren- dered, and those to whom it was done, were not worthy of further con- sideration. However we strike the balance between us, Tom — ^ia our favour or against us — I own to you, I like our own way best ; and though nothing could be more truly kind and considerate than Morris, it was quite a relief to me when he gave me his cold shake hands, and said «Good-by!" And so will it ever be, so long as human actions are swayed by human emotions. The man who recognises your feelings — who regards you vpith some touch of sympathy — is more your friend than the benevo- lent machine who bestowed upon you his mechanical philanthropy. " The Golden Ox," Rastadt. "We left Lichtenthal Hke a thief in. the night ; and here we are now in the Golden Ox at Itastadt, which, I own to you, seems a most com- fortable house. James and I — for we are now ^«oo parties domestically, Mrs. D. and Mary Anne living very much to themselves, and Gary still on a visit with Morris's mother — had a most excellent breakfast of fresh trout, a roast partridge, a venison steak with eapers^a capital dish — and chocolate, with abundance of good white wine of the place, and on caUing for the bill, out of curiosity, I see we are charged some- thing under a florin for two of us — about tenpencB each. Tom, this will do. Tou may therefore look upon me as a citizen of Eastadt for the next month to come. I have kept my letter by me hitherto, to give you a bulletin of this place before closing it, and I have still some short time at my disposal before the post leaves. I'm not sure though I'd exactly recommend this town to a patieni laboiiring under nervous headaches, op to a university man reading for THE BOBI) rAMUiT ABEOAD. 323 honours. Indeed, up to tMs — I suppose I'll get used to it later on — the din has so addled me, that I have often to stand two minutes reflecting over what I had to say, and then own that I have forgotten it. We are — that is, the Ox is — in the quietest spot ia the town, and yet close under my bedroom there are, from early morning till dusk, twelve drummers at practice, with a head drummer to teach them. In the green, before the door, two companies of recruits are at driQ. The foot artillery limbers and unlimbers all day in the " Platz' ' close by, and what should be our garden is a riding-school for the cadets. These several educational establishments have their peeuliaT tumult, which accompany me through my sleep ; and for all the requirements of quiet and reflection, I might as well have taken up my abode in a kettle- drum. Liege was a Trappist Monastery in comparison ! As it is, the routine tramp of feet has made me conform to the step, and I march "quick" or "orderly," exactly as the fellows are doing it outside. I swallow my soup to the sound of a trumpet, and take off my clothes to the roU of the drum. James is in ecstasy with it all ; I never saw him enjoy himself so much. He is out looking at them the entire day, and I'm greatly mistaken but Mary Anne passes a large portion of her time at the green "jalousie" that opens over the riding-school. I am always asking myself — that is, whenever I can summon compo- sure even for so much-^what do the Germans want with aU these soldiers ? Surely they're not going to invade IVance, nor Eussia ; and yet their armies are maintained in a strength that might imply it ! As to any occasion for them at home in their own land, its downright bal- derdash to taUi of it ! Do you know, Tom, that whenever I think of Germany and her rulers, I am strongly reminded of poor old Doctor Drake, that lived at Dronestown, and the flea-bitten mare he used to drive in his gig. She was forty if she was an hour ; she was quiet and docile from the day she was foaled : all the whipping in the world couldn't shake her into five miles an hour, and yet the Doctor had her surrounded with every precaution and appliance that would have suited a regular runaway. There were safety-reins, and kicking-straps, and double traces without end — and aU to restrain a poor old beast that only wanted to be let alone, and drag out her tiresome existence in the jog-trot she was used to ! " Ah, you don't know her as well as I do," Drake would say ; " she's a devil at heart, and if she didn't feel it was useless to resist, slie'd smash everything behind her. She looks quiet enough, but that doesn't impose upon me." These were the kind of reflections he indulged in, and I suppose they are about the same in use in the Cabinets of Austria, Prussia, and Bavaria. I was often malicious enough for a half wish that Drake should have a spicy devil in the shafts, just for once, to show him a trick or two ; and in the same spirit, t2 324 THE DODD rAMllT ABBOAD. Tom, I cannot help saying, that I'd like to see John BuU "put to" ia this fashion ! "Wouldn't he kick up — wouldn't he soon knock the whole concern to atoms ! Ah, Tom, it's all alike, believe me ; and whether you have to drive a Nag or a Nation, take my word for it, the kick- ing-straps are only efficacious when the beast hasn't a kick in him ! At aU events, such are not the popular notions here, and on they go building fortresses, strengthening garrisons, and reinforcing army corps, till at last the military will be more numerous than the nation, and every prisoner will have two gaolers to restraiu him. " Who is to pay ?" becomes the question ; but indeed that is the very question that puzzles me now. Who pays for all this at present ? Is it pos- sible that a people will suffer itself to be taxed that it maybe bullied ? I'm unable to ; continue this theme, • for there go the drums again — there, are forty of them at it now ! What's in the wind I can't guess. Oh, here's the explanation. It is the Herr Commandant — be sure you accent the last syllable — ^is come to pay me a visit, and the Guard has turned out to drum him up-stairs 1 Four o'clock. He is gone at last — I thought he never would— and I have only time to say that he has appointed to-morrow after breakfast to show me the Portress, and as I am too late for the post, I'll be able to add a Une or two before this leaves me. Mary Anne has come to say that her Mother's head is distracted, and that she cannot endure the uproar of the place. My reply is : " Mine is exactly in the same way; but I can't go any farther; — I've no money." Mrs. D. " thinks she'll go mad 1" If she means it in earnest, this is as cheap a place to do it in, as any I know. We are only to pay two pounds a week each, and I suppose whether we preserve our senses or not, makes no difference in the expense ! This would sound very un- feelingly, Tom, but that you are well aware of Mrs. D.'s system, and that she gives notice of a motion without any intention of going to a debate, much less of pressing for a " division." Mary Anne is very urgent that I should see her Mother, but I am not quite equal to it yet. Maybe after visiting the Fortress to-morrow I'll be in a more martial mood ; and now here's dinner, and a most savoury odour preludes it. Tuesday. This must go as it is, Tom— I'm dead beat ! That old Yeteran wouldn't let me off a casemate, nor a bomb-proof, and I have walked twenty miles this blessed morning ! Nor is that aU, but I have handled shot, lifted cannon-balls, adjusted mortars, and peeped out of embrar sures, tiU my back is half broken with straining and fatigue. Just to judge from what I'm suffering, a siege must be a dreadful thing ! He says he showed me everything ; and, upon my conscience, I can well be- lieve it ! There was a great deal of it, too, that I saw in the dark, for THE DODD PAMIIY ABEOAB. 325 there was no end of- galleries without a single loophole, and many of the passages seemed only four feet high ; for, though a short man, I had to stoop ! I ought to have a great deal to say ahout this place, if I could remember it, or if I could be sure it would interest you. It appears that Eastadt is built upon an entirely new principle, quite distinct from any hitherto ia use. It must be attacked en ricochet, and not directly ; a hint, I suppose, they stole from our common law, where they fire into you, by pretending to assail John Doe or Eichard Eoe. The Commandant sneered at the old system, but I'd rather trust my- self in Gibraltar, notwithstanding aU he said ! It stands to reason, Tom, that if you are up in a window, you have a great advantage over a fellow down in the street. Now all these modem fortresses are what is called " &fleur d'eau,'' quite level, and not raised in the least over the attacking force ! Put me up high, say I ; if on a parapet, so much the better ; and besides, Tom, nothing gives a man such coolness as to know that he is aU as one as out of danger ! Of course, I didn't make this remark to the Commandant, because in talking with military people it is good tact always to assume that being shot at is rather pleasant than otherwise ; and so I have observed that they themselves generally make use of some jocular phrase or other to express being killed or wounded ! " He was knocked over," " He got an ugly poke," being the more popular mode of recording what finished a man's existence, or made the remainder of it miserable ! Soldiering has always struck me as an insupportable line of life. I have no objection in the world to fight the man that has injured me, nor to give satisfaction where I have been the offender ! But to go patiently to work to learn how to destroy somebody that I never saw and never heard of, does seem absurd and unchristianlike altogether. Tou say, " He is the enemy of my country, and consequently mine." Let me see that ; let me be sure of it. If he invades us, I know that he is an enemy ; but if he is only occupied about his own affairs — if he is simply hunting out a nest of old squatters that he is tired of — if he is merely changing the sign of his house, and instead of the " Lily" prefers to live under the " Cock," or, maybe, "the Drone-bee," what have I to say to that ? So long as he stays at home, and only " gets drunk on the premises," I have no right to meddle with him. It's all very well to say that nobody likes to have a disorderly house in his neighbourhood. Very true ; but you oughtn't to go in and murder the residents to keep them quiet ! — There's the mail gone by, and I have forgotten to send this off! It's a wonderful thing how living in Germany makes a man long-winded and tiresome. It must be the air, at least with me, or the cookery, for I am perfectly innocent of the language. The " mysterious gutturals," as Macaulay call them, will 326 THE DODD FAMIIT ABEOAD. ever be mysteries to me ! At all events, to prevent further indiscre- laons, I'll close this and seal it now. And so, with my sincere regards, ■believe me, dear Tom, ever yours, Keitnt I. Dobd. Address me " Golden Oz" — I mean at the sign of — ^Eastadt, for you're sure of finding me here for the next four weeks, at least. LETTBE XXXV. MAEY ANNE DODD TO MISS DOOLAN, OF BALLTDOOLAN. Mx BEABEST KiTXT, " ^te Golden Ox," Eastadt. I HATE only time for a few and very hurried lines, written with trembling, fingers and a heart audible in its palpitations ! Tes, dearest, an eventful, moment has arrived — the dread instant has come, on which my whole future destiny must depend. It was last night, just as I was making Papa's tea, that a servant^ arrived on horseback at the Inn with a letter addressed to the Eight Honourable and Eeverend the Lord Dodd de Dodsborough. This, of course, could only mean Papa, aaid so he opened and read it, for it was ia English, deaxest, or at least in imitation of that language. I refrain from quoting, the preeise expressions, lest in circumstances so serious a smile of passing levity should cross those deslr features, now all tension with anxiety for your own Mary Anne. The letter was from Adolf von Wolfenschafer, making me an offer of his htod, title, and fortune ! I swooned away when I heard it, and only recovered to hear Papa stUl spelling out the strange phraseology of the letter.- I wish he had not written in. English, Kitty. It is provoking that an event so naturally serious in itself should be alloyed with the dross of grammatical absurdities ; besides that, really, our tongue does not lend itself to those delicate and half-vanishing allusions to future bUss so germain to such a proposal. Papa, and James, too, I must say, evinced a want of regard to my feelings, and an absence of that fine sympathy which I should have looked for at a moment like this. They actually screamed with laughter, Kitty, at little lapses of orthography, when the subject might reasonably have imposed far different emotions. " "Why, it's a proposal of marriage !" exclaimed Papa, " and I thought it a summons from the Police." " Egad, so it is," cried James. " It's an offer to you, Mary Anne. ' The Baron Adolf von Wolfenschafer, Freiherr von Schweinbraten and Eitter of the Order of the Cock of Tubingen, maketh hereby, and not the less, that with future-coming-time-to-be-proved-and-experienced affection, the profound humility of an offer of himself, with all his to be named and enumerated belongings, both in effects and majorats, to f^'^ m vK CJ THE DOBD PAMIXT ABEOAD. 827 the lovely and very beautiful Miss, tlie first daughter of the Venerable and very Honourable the Lord Dodd de Dodsborough.' " " Pray stop, James," said I ; " this is scarcely a fitting matter for coarse jesting, nor is my heart to be made the theme for indelicate banter." " The letter is a gem," said he, and went on : " ' The so-named A. Ton W., overflowing with a mild but in-heaven-soaring and never-to- earth-descending love, expecteth, in aU the pendulating anxieties of a never-at-any-moment-to-be-distrusted devotion ' '* " Papa, I really beg and request that I may not be trifled with in this unfeeling manner. The Baron's intentions are sufficiently clear and explicit, nor are we now engaged in the work of correcting his English epistolary style." This I said haughtily, Kitty ; and Mister James at last thought proper to recover some respect for my feelings. " Why, I never suspected you could take the thing seriously, dear Mary Aime," said he. " If I only thought " " And pray, why not, James ? I'm sure the Baron's ancient birth — his rank, his fortune — his position, in fact " " Of aU of which we know nothing," broke in Papa. " But of which you may know everything," said I ; " for here, at the postscript, is an invitation to us all to pass some weeks at the Schloss, in the Black Porest, his ancestral seat." "Or, as he styles it," broke in James, impertinently, " 'the very old castle, where for numerous centuries his high-blooded and on- lofty-eminence-standing ancestors did sit,' and where now ' his with- years-bestricken but not-the-less-on-that-account-sharp-with-inteUi- gence-begifted parent Father do reside.' " " Bead that again, James," said Papa. " Pray allow me. Sir," said I, taking the letter. "The invitation is a most hospitable request that we should go and pass some time at his Chateau, and name the earliest day our convenience wUl permit for the visit." " He spoke of capital shooting there !" cried James. " He told me that the Auer-Hahn, a kind of black cock, abounds in that country." " And I remember, too, that he mentioned some wonderful Stein- berger — a cabinet wine, full two hundred years in wood !" chimed in Papa. I wished, dearest Kitty, that they could have entertained the sub- ject-matter of the letter without these "contingent remainders," and not mixed up my future fate with either wine or wild fowl ; but they really were so carried away by the pleasures so peculiarly adapted to their own feelings, that they at once said, and in a breath, too, " Write him word ' Tes,' by aU means !" 328 THE DODD TAMIXT ABROAD. " Do you mean for Ha offer of marriage, Papa ?" asked I, with struggling indignation. " By George, I had forgotten all about that," said he. " We must deliberate a bit. Tour Mother, too, -wUl expect to be consulted. Take the letter up- stairs to her ; or, better stiU, just say that I want to speak to her myself." As Papa and Mamma had not met, nor spoken together, siuce his return, I willingly embraced this opportunity of restoring them to intercourse with each other. " Don't go away, Mary Anne," said James, as I was about to seek my own room, for I dreaded being left alone, and exposed to his un- feeling banter ; " I want to speak to you." This he said with a tone of kindness and interest which at once decided me to remaiu. He wore a look of seriousness, Eatty, that I have seldom, if ever, seen in his features, and spoke in a tone that, to my ears, was new from him. " Let me be your friend, Mary Anne," said he, " and the better to be so, let me talk to you in aU frankness and sincerity. If I say one single word that can hurt youx feelings, put it down to the true account — that I'd rather do even such than suffer you to take the most eventful step in aU life without weighing every consequence of it. Answer me, then, two or three questions that I shall ask you, but as truly and unreservedly as though you were at confession." I sat down beside him, and with my hand in his. " Now, first of all, Mary Anne," said he, " do you love this Baron von "Wolfensehafer ?" Who ever could answer such a question in one word, Kitty ? How seldom does it occur in life that all the circumstances of any man's position respond to the ambitious imaginings of a girl's heart ! He may be handsome, and yet poor ; he may be rich, and yet low bom ; intellectual, and yet his great gifts may be alloyed with infirmities of temper ; he may be coldly-natured, secret, self-contained, uncom- municative — a hundred things that one does not like — and yet, with all these drawbacks, what the world calls an " excellent match." I believe very few people marry the person they wish to marry. I fancy that such instances are the rarest things imaginable. It is a question of compensation throughout — you accept this, notwithstand- ing that — you put up with that, for the sake of this! Of course, dearest, I am rejecting here all belief in the " greatest happiness prin- ciple" as a stupid fallacy, that only imposes upon elderly gentlemen when they marry their housekeeper. I speak of the considerations which weigh with a young girl who has moved in society, who knows its requirements, and can estimate all that contributes to what is called a " position." THE DODD FAMILT ABEOAD. 329 This Kttle digression of mine will give you to understand what was passing in my mind as James sat waiting for my reply. " So then," said he, at last, " the question is not so easily answered as I suspected ; and we wiU now pass to another one. Are your afiections already engaged elsewhere?" , What could I say, Kitty, but " No ! decidedly not." The embar- rassment, however, so natural to an inquiry like this, made me blush and seem confused, and James, perceiving it, said : " Poor feUow, it wiU be a sad blow to him, for I know he loved you." _ I tried to look astonished, angry, unconscious — anything, in fact, which should convey displeasure and surprise together ; but with that want of tact so essentially fraternal, he went on : " It was almost the last thing he said to me at parting, ' Don't let her forget me !' " " May I venture to inquire," said I, haughtily, " of whom you are speaking?" Simple and inoffensive as the words were, Kitty, they threw him into an ungovernable passion ; he stamped, and stormed, and swore fearfuUy. He called me " a heartless Coquette," " an unfeeling Phrt," and a variety of epithets equally mellifluous and well merited. I drew my embroidery-frame before me quite calmly under this tor- rent of abuse, and worked away at my pattern of the " Paithful Shepherd," singing to myself all the time. " Are you really as devoid of feeling as this, Mary Anne ?" askedhe. " My dear brother," said I, " don't you wish excessively for a com- mission in a regiment of Hussars or Lancers ? Well, as your great merits have not been recognised at the Horse Guards, would you feel justified in refusing an appoiutment to the E.ifle Brigade ?" " What has all this to say to what we are discussing?" cried he, angrily. " Just everything," replied I ; " but as you cannot make the applica- tion, you must excuse me if T decline the task also." " And so you mean to be a Baroness ?" said he, rudely. I curtsied profoundly to him, and he flung out of the room with a bang that nearly brought the door down. In a moment after. Mamma was in my arms, overcome with tenderness and emotion. " I have carried the day, my dearest child," said she. " We are to accept the invitation, at all events, and we set out to-morrow." I have no time for more, Kitty, for aU our preparations for depar- ture have yet to be made. What fate awaits me I know not nor can I even fancy what may be the future of your ever attached and de- voted Mend, Maet Amra Dodd. 330 THE DODD EAMIIT AIBOAD. LETTEE XXXVI. # MBS. SODD TO MBS. MABT GALLASHEB, DOSSBOSOr'GE. " Schloss, WolfenfelB.' Mx DEAE MoiLT, It is only since we came to the elegant place, the hard name of which I have written at the top of this letter, that my feelings have subsided iato the calm sereniousness adapted to epistolaary corre- spondence. Erom the day that K, I. returned, my life has been like the paralas of a fever ! The man was never possessed of any refined or exalted sentiments ; but the woman, this Mrs. G. H. — I couldn't write the name in full if you were to give me twenty pounds for it — ^made him far worse with self-conceit and vanity. If you kaew the way my time is passed, " taMng it out of him," Molly, showing him how ridiculous he is, and why everybody is laughing at him, you'd pity me. As to gratitude, my dear, he hasn't a notion of Nit ; and he feels no more thankful to me for what I've gone through, than if I was indulging him in all his nefarious propensities. It is a weary task ; and the only wonder is how I'm able to go on with it. " Haven't you done yet, Mrs. D. ?" said he, the other morning. " Don't you think that you might grant me a Httie peace, now ?" " I wish to the Saiats I had," said I ; " it's bringing me to the grave, it is ; but I have a duty to perform, and as long as my tongue can wag, I'U do it! When I'm gone, K. I," said I — "when I'm gone, you'U not have to say, ' It was her fault — ^it was all her doing. Jemima never said this — she never told me that.' " I vow and declare to you here, Molly, that there isn't a thing a Woman could say to a Man, that I haven't said to him ; and as I remarked yesterday, " If I haven't taken the self-conceit out of you, now, it is because it's grained in your nature" — I believe, indeed, I said, " in your filthy nature." When we left Baden, we came to a place called Eastadt, a great fortifiiCation that they're making, as they tell me, to defend the Ehine; but, between ourselves, it's as far from the river as our house at Dodsborough is from Kelly's Mills. There, we stopped three weeks — I believe in the confident hope of K.. I. that I couldn't survive the uproarious tumult. They were drilling, or training horses, or firing guns, or flogging recruits under our windows, from THE DODD FAMILY ABBOAD. 331 BTinrise to sunset, and although at first the novelty was amusing, you grew at last so tormented and teased with the noise, that your very brain ached &om it. " I wonder," said I, one night, " that you never thought of taking fiindshed apartmemts in Barrack-street! It ought to be to your taste." " It's not unUkely, Ma'am, that I may end my days in that neigh- bourhood," said he, tartly, " for I believe it's very convenient to the Sheriff's prison." " I was alluding to your military tastes," said I. " One might suppose you were meant for a great General." " I might have claim to the character. Ma'am," said he, " if being always under fire signified anything — always exposed to attack." " Oh, but," said I, " you forget ; " she has retired her forces" — I meant Mrs. G-., Molly — " she took pity on your poor unprotected situation !" "Look now, Mrs. D.," said he, with a blow of his fist on the table, " if there's another word — one syllable more on this matter, may I never sign my name K. I. again, if I don't walk you back, every one of you, to Dodsborough. It was an evil hour that saw us leave it, but it won't be a joyous one that brings us back again." "When he grows so brutal as that, MoUy, I never utter a word. 'Tisn't to-day nor yesterday that I learned to be a martyr ; so that all I did was to wait a minute or two, and then go off in strong hys- terics ; and, indeed, I don't know anything that provokes him more. I give you this as a slight sample of the way we lived, with occasional diversions on the subject of expense, the extravagance of James, his idleness, and so forth ; pleasant topics, and amusing for a family circle. Indeed, Molly, I'm ashamed to own that my natural spirit was beginning to break down under it. I felt that aU the blood of the M'Carthys was weak to resist such inhuman cruelty ; and whether it was the climate, or what, I don't know, but crying didn't give me the same relief it used. I suppose the fact is, that one exhausts the natural resources of their constitution ; but I think I'm not so old but that a good hearty cry ought to be a comfort to me." This is how affairs was, when, about a week ago, came a servant on horseback with a letter for K. I. I was sitting up at my vrindow, with the blinds down, when I saw the man get off and enter the Inn, and the first thought that struck me was, that it was Mrs. G-. herself sent him. "I've caught you," says I to myself; and throwing on my dressing-gown I slipped down stairs. It was K. I. and James were 332 THE DODD PAMIIT ABEOAD. together talking, so I just waited a second at the door to listen. " K I had a voice in the family" — ^it was K. I. said this— "if I had a voice in the family," said he, " I'd refuse. These kind of things always turn out ill — people calculate so much upon affection ; hut the truth is, marrying for love is like buying a pair of russia-duck trousers to wear through the year. They'll do beautifully in summer, and even an odd day in the autumn ; but in the cold and rainy season they'll be downright ridiculous." " Still," said James, " the offer sounds like a great one." "AH glitter, maybe. I distrust them all, James. At any rate, say nothing about it to your Mother till I think it over a bit." "And why not say anything to his Mother?" says I, bouncing into the room. " Am I nobody in the family ?" " Bedad you are !" said K. I., with a heavy sigh. " Haven't I an opinion of my own — eh ?" " That you.have !" said he. " And don't I stand to it, too — eh, Kenny James ?" " Tour worst enemy couldn't deny it !" said he, shaking his head. " Then what's all this about ?" said I, snatching the letter out of his hands. But though I tried with my double eye-glass, Molly, it was no use, for the writing was in a German hand, not to say any- thing of the language. " "Well, Ma'am," said K. I., with a grin, " I hope the contents are pleasing to you ?" And before I could fly out at him, James broke in: "It's a proposal for Mary Anne, Mother. The young Baron that we met at Bonn makes her an offer of his hand and fortune, and invites us all to his castle in the Black Forest, as a preliminary step.' " Isn't that to your taste, Mrs. D. ?" said K. I., with another grin. " High connexion — nobility — great family— eh ?*' "I don't think," said I, " that, considering the step I took myself in life, anybody can reproach me with prejudices of that kind." The step I took ! MoUy, I said the words with a sneer that made him purple. " What's his fortune, James ?" said I. "Heaven knows! but he must have a stunning income. This Castle of "Wolfenfels is in all the print-shops of the town. It's a thing as large as "Windsor, and surrounded by miles of forest." " My poor child," said I, " I always knew where you'd be at last ; and it's only two nights ago I had a dream of taking grease out of my yellow satin. I thought I was rubbing and scrubbiDg at it with all my might." THE BODB TAMILT ABEOAD. 333 "And what did that portend, Ma'am ?" said K. I., with his usual sneer. " Can't you guess ?" said I. " Mightn't it mean an effort to get rid of the stain of alow connexion?" "Wasn't that a home thrust, Molly ? Taith, he felt it so ! "Mrs. D.," said he, gravely, and as if after profound thought, "this is a question of our child's happiness for life-long, and if we are to discuss it at all, let it be without any admixture of attack or recrimination." " Who began it ?" said I. " Tou did, my dear," said he. " I didn't," said I ; " and I'm not, ' your dear.' Oh, you needn't sigh that way ; your case isn't half so bad as you think it, but, like all men, you fancy yourself cruelly treated whenever the sHghtest bar is placed to your bad passions. Tou argue as if wickedness was good for your constitution." " Have you done ?" said he. "Not yet," said I, taking a chair in front of him. "When you have, then," said he, " call me, for I'U go out and sit on the stairs." But I put my back to the door, MoUy, so that he had nothing for it but to resume his seat. " Let us move the order of the day, Mrs. D.," said he. " This business of Mary Anne. My opinion of it is told in few words. These mixed marriages seldom succeed. Even with long previous intimacy, suitable fortune, and equality of station, there is that in a difference of nationality that opens a hundred discrepancies ia taster— feeling " "Bother!" said I, "we have just as much when we come from the same stock." " Sometimes," said he, sighing. "Here's what he says, Mother," said James, and read out the letter, which I am bound to say, MoUy, was a curiosity ia its way, for though it had such a strange look, it turned out to be in English, or at least what the Baron thought was such. Happily there was no mistaking the meaning ; and as I said to K. I., " At least there's one thing ia the Baron's favour — there's neither deceit nor subterfuge about him. He makes his proposal like a man !" And let me teU. you, MoUy, we live in an age when even that same is a virtue ; for really, with the liberties that's allowed, and the way girls goes on, there's no saying what intentions men have at aU ! Some Mothers make a point of never seeing anything; but that may be carried too far, particularly abroad, my dear. Others are for 334 THE DODD I'AMILT ABEOAB. always being dragons, but that is sure to scare off tbe men ; and as I say, what's the use of birdHme if you're always shouting and screaming! My notion is, MoUy, that a moderate degree of what the IVench call " surveillance" is the right thing — a manner that seems to say: " I'm looking at you ; I'm not against innocent enjoyments, and so forth, but I won't stand any nonsense, nor falling in love." Many's the time the right man is scared away by a new flirtation, that meant nothing : " She's too gay for me — she has a loot in her eye, or a toss of the head, or a — Heaven knows — I don't Kke." " Does she care for him ?" said K. I. " Does Mary Anne care for him? — ^that's the question." " Of course she does," said I. " If a girl's affections are not en- gaged in some other quarter, she always cares for the man that pro- poses for her. Isn't he a good match ?" " He as much as says so himself." " And a Baron ?" "Tes." " And has an elegant place, with a park of mUes round it ?" « So he says." " Well, then, I'm sure I see nothing to prevent her being attached to him." " At all events^ let us speak to her," said he ; and sent James up-stairs to fetch her down. Short as the time was that he was away, it was enough for K. I. to get into one of his passions, just because I gave him the friendly caution that he ought to be delicate and guarded in the way he men- tioned the matter to Mary Anne." " Isn't she my daughter ?" said he, with a stamp of his foot ; and just for that, Molly, I wouldn't give him the satisfaction to say she is. " I ask you," cried he again, " isn't she my daughter ?" Not a syllable would I answer him. "Well, maybe she isn't," said he; "but my authority over her is all the same." " Oh, you can be as cruel and tyrannical as you please," said I. "Look now, Mrs. D. ," said he; but, fortunately, Molly, just at that moment James and his sister came in, and he stopped sud- denly. " Oh, dearest Papa," cried Mary Anne, falling at his feet, and hiding her face in her hands, " how can I leave you, and dear, dear Mamma." THE DODD FAMILT ABEOAD. 335 " That's what we axe going to tali over, my dear," said he, quite drily, and taking a pinch of snuff. " Tour rather is nerer overpowered by his commotions, my love," said I. "To forsake my tappy home!" sobbed Mary Anne, as if lier heart was breaking. " Oh, what an agony to think of." " To be sure it is," said K. I., in the same hard, husky voice ; " but it's what we see done every day. Ask your Mother " " Don't ask me to justify it," said I. " My experiences go all the other way !" " At any rate you ventured on the experiment," said he, with a grin. Then, turning to Mary Anne, he went on : " I see that James has informed you on this affair, and it only remains for me now to ask you "what your own sentiments are " " Oh, my poor heart !" said she, pressing her hand to her side, "how can I divide its- allegianice ?" "Don't try that, at all events," said he, "for though I never thought him a suitable match for you, my dear, if you reaUy do feel an attachment to Peter Belton " " Of course I do not, Papa." " Of course she does not — never did — never could," said I. " So much the better," said he; " and now for this Baron Von — I never can remember his name — do you think you could be happy with him ? Or do you know enough of hia temper, tastes, and dis- position to answer that question ?" " I'm sure he is a most amiable person ; he is exceedingly clever and accomplished " " I don't care a brass bodkin for all that," broke in K. I. " A man may be as wise as the bench of Bishops, and be a bad husband." " Let me talk to Mary Anne," said I. It's only a female heart Molly, understands these cases ; for men discuss them as if they were matters of reason ! and with that I marched her off with me to my own room. I needn't teU. you all I said, nor what she replied to me ; but this much I will say, a more sensible girl I never saw. She took in the whole of our situation at once. She perceived that there was no saying how Icmg K. I. might be induced to remain abroad ; it might be, perhaps, to-morrow, or next day, that he'd decide to go back to Ireland. "What a position we'd be in, then ! " I don't doubt," says she, " but if time were allowed me, I could do better than this. With the knowledge I have now of bfe, I feel very confident ; but if we 336 THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAB. are to be marclied off before the campaigu begins, Mamma, bow are we to win our laurels f " Them's her words, MoUy, and they express her meaning beautifully. "We agreed at last that the best thing was to accept the invitation to the Castle, and when we saw the place, and the way of living, we could then decide on the offer of marriage. If I could only repeat to you the remarks Mary Anne made about this, you'd see what a girl she was, and what a wonderful degree of iateUigence she possesses. Even on the point that K. I. himself raised a doubt — the difference of nationality and language — she summed up the whole question in a few words. Her observation was, that this very circumstance was rather an advantage than other- wise, " as offering a barrier against that over-intimacy and over- famUiarity that is the bane of married life." " The fact is, Mamma," said she, " people do not conform to each other. They make a show of doing so, and they become hypocrites — great or little ones, as their talents decide for them — but their real characters remain at bottom unchanged. Now, married to a fo- reigner, a woman need not even affect to assume his tastes and habits. She may always foUow her own, and set them down, what- ever they be, to the score of her peculiar nationality." She is really, Molly, an astonishing girl, and in all that regards life and knowledge of mankind, I never met her equal. As to Caroline, she never could have made such a remark. The advantages of the Continent are clean thrown away on her ; she knows no more of the world than the day we left Dodsborough. Indeed, I sometimes half regret that we didn't leave her behind with the Doolans ; for I ob- serve, that whenever foreign travel fails in inculcating new refinement and genteel notions, that it is sure to strengthen all old prejudices, and suggest a most absurd attachment to one's own country ; and when that happens to be Ireland, MoUy, I need scarcely say how in- jurious the tendency is ! It's very dreadful, my dear, but it's equally true, whenever anything is out of fashion, in bad taste, vulgar, or common, you're sure to hear it called Irish, though, maybe, it never crossed the Channel ; and out of self-defence one is obliged to adopt the custom. On one point Mary Anne and myself were both agreed. It is next to impossible for any one but a Banker's daughter, or in the Ballet, to get a husband in the Peerage at home. The nobility, with us, are either very cunning or very foolish. As to the gentry class, they never think of them at all. The consequence is, that a girl who wishes for a titlemust take a foreigner. Now, Molly, G-erman nobility THE DODD I'AMIIT ABEOAD. 337 is mightily like German sUver — it has only a look of the real article ; but, if you can't afford the right thing, it is better than • the vulgar metal ! Mary Anne has declared, over and over again, that nothing would induce her to be Mrs. Anybody. As she says, "Your whole life is passed in a struggle, if not heralded by a designation, even though it only be ' Madame.' " And sure nobody knows this better than I do. Hasn't the odious name weighed me down for years past ? "Take him, then, my dea;r child," said I — "take him, then, and may you have luck in your choice ! It wiU. be a consolation to me, in all my troubles and trials, to know that one of my girls at least sustains the honour of her .mother's family. You'll be a Baroness at all events." She pressed my hand affectionately, MoUy, but said nothing. I saw that the poor dear .child wasn't doingit all, without some sacrifice or other ; but I was too prudent to ask questions. There's nothing, in my opinion, does such mischief as the system of probing and poking into wounds of the affections ; it's the sure way to keep them open, and prevent their healing ; so that I kept on, never-minding, and only talked of " the Baron." "It will kUl the Davises," said she, at last; "they'll die of spite when they hear it." " That they will," said I; "and they'll deny it to all the neigh- bours, tUl it's copied into the country papers out of the Morning Post. What wUl become of all their sneering remarks about going abroad now, I wonder ! Faith, my dear, you might live long enough at Bruff without seeing a Baron." "I think Mr. Peter, too, wUl at last perceive the outrageous absurdity of his pretensions," said she. "The Castle of "Wolfenfels is not exactly like the village Dispensary !" In a word, my dear MoUy, we considered the question in all its bearings, and agreed, that though we had rather he was a Viscount, with a fine estate at home, yet that the thing was still too good to refuse. "It's a fine position," said Mary AJme, "and I'll see if I can't improve it." "We agreed, that as Caroline was so happy where she was — on a visit -with this Mrs. Morris — that we'd leave her there a little longer ; for, as Mary Anne remarked, " She's so natural, and so frank, and so very confiding, she'U just tell everything about us, and spoil all !" And it is true, MoUy. That girl has no more notion of the difiS.culties it costs us to be what we are, and where we are than if she wasn't one of the famUy. She's a regular Dodd, and no more need be said. 338 THE BODD PAMIIT ABEOAB, The next day, you may be sure, wasn't an idle one. "We had to pack all our things, to get a new livery made for Paddy Byrne, and to hire a traveUing carriage, so that we might make our appearance in a style becoming us. Betty, too, had to be drilled how she was to behave in a great house full of servants, and taught not to expose us by any of her outlandish ways. Mary Anne had her up to eat before her, and teach her various pditenesses ; but the Saints alone can tell how the lesson will prosper ! "We started for Eastadt in great style — six posters, and a riding Courier in front, to order relays on the road. Even the sight of it, MoUy, and the tramp of the horses, and the jingle of the bells on the harness, aU did me good, for I'm of a susceptible nature ; and what between my sensations at the moment, and the thought of all before us, I cried heartUy for the first two stages. "K it overcomes you so much," said K. I., "don't you think you'd better turn back ?" Did you ever hear brutality like that speech, Molly ? I ask you, in all your experience of life, did you ever know of any man that could make himself so odious ? Tou may be sure I didn't cry much after that 1 I made it so comfortable to him, that he was glad to exchange places with Betty, and get into the rumble for the re- mainder of the journey. Betty herself, too, was in one of her blessed tempers, all because Mary Anne wouldn't let her stick all the old artificial flowers, that were thrown away, over her bonnet. As Mary Anne said to her, " She only wanted wax candles to be like a Cluistmas Tree." The consequence was, that she cried and howled all the way, tiU. we dined ; after that she slept and snored awfully. To mend matters, Paddy got very drunk, and ha,d to be tied on the box, and drew a crowd round us, at every place we changed horses, by his yells. In other respects the journey was agreeable. "We supped at a place called Offenburg ; and, indeed, I thought we'd never get away from it, for K. I. found out that the landlord could speak English, and was, besides, a great farmer ; and, in spite of Mary Anne and myself he had the man in to supper, and there they sat, smoking, and drinking, and prosing about clover, and green crops, and flax, and such things, till past midnight. However, it did one thing — it made K. I. good-humoured for the rest of the way ; for the truth is, Molly, the nature of the man is unchanged, and, I believe, unchangeable. Do what we wUl, take him where we may, give him all the advantages of high life and genteel society, but his heart will still cling to yearling heifers and ewes ; and he'd rather be at Ballinasloe than a Ball at Buckingham Palace. THE DODD TAatlLT ABBOAD. 339 "We ought to have been at Freyburg in time to sleep, but we didn't get there till breakfast hour. I'm mighty particular about aU. the names of these places, MoUy, for it will amuse you to trace our journey on the celestial globe in the school-room, and then you'U perceive how we are going " round the world" in earnest ! After breakfast we went to see the Cathedral of the town. It is really a fine sight; and the carving that's thrown away in dark, out-of-the-way places, would make two other churches. The most beautiful thing of all, however, is an image of the Virgin, sheltering under her cloak more than a dozen Cardinals and Eishops. She is looking down at the creatures — for they are all made small ia com- parison — ^with an angelical smUe, as much as to say, " Keep quiet, and nobody will see you." I suppose she wants to get them into heaven "unknownst;" or, as James rather irreverently expressed it, " going to do it by a dodge." To judge by their faces, they are not quite at their ease ; they seem to think that their case isn't too good, and that it will go hard with them if they're found out ! And I suppose, my dear Molly, that's the way with the best of us. Sure, with all our plotting and scheming for the good of our children, after Uves of every kind of device, ain't we often masses of corrup- tion? — isn't our very best thoughts, sometimes, wicked enough? Them was exactly my own meditations, as I sat alone in a dark comer of the church, musing and reflecting, and only brought to myself as I heard K. I. fighting with one of the " Beagles" — I think they call them^about a bad groschen in change ! " I'm never in a heavenly frame of mind, K. I." said I to him, " that you don't bring me back to earthly feelings with your meanness." " If you told me you were going to heaven, Mrs. D.," said he, " I wouldn't have brought you out of it for worlds !" It didn't need the grin that he gave, to show me what the mean- ing of this speech was. The old wretch said as much as that he wished me dead and buried ; so I just gave him a look, and passed out of the church with contempt. Oh, MoUy, MoUy, whatever may be your spire in life, never descend from it for a husband ! Tou'U laugh when I tell you that we left this place by the Valley of Hell. That's the name of it ; and, so far as gloom and darkness goes, not a bad name either. It is a deep, narrow glen, with only room for a narrow road at the bottom of it, and over your head the rocks seem ready to tumble down and crush you to atoms. Instead too, of getting through it as fast as we could, E. I. used to stop' the carriage, and get out to examine " the position," as he called it ; for it seems that a great IVench General once made a wonderful z2 340 THE DODD TAMILT ABROAD. retreat through this same pass years ago ! K. I. and James had bought a map, and this they used to spread out on the ground ; and sometimes they got into disputing about the name of this place or that, so that' the Valltey of Hell had its share of torments for me and Mary Anne; before we got out of it. At a. little lake caUed;.the "Titi,See" — be sure you look for it on the globe, and you'U. know, it by a small island in it with willow- trees^ — we found that the Baron ■ had seiit horses to meet us, and eight miles more brought us to the ;.ipiace of our destiny. I own to you, Molly, that Ixould'have cried-.withf sheer disap'^ointmentj when I found we were' in the demesne without knowing it. . I was always looking out for a grand entrance ; maybe an archway between two towers,, like Nockslobber' Castle ; or an elegant cut-stone buildingj with a lodge at each side, like DoUy Mount ; but there we were, Molly, driving through deep clay roads, with great fields of maize at each side of us, and- neither a gate, nor a hedge— not a bit -of paling to.be seen anywhere. There were trees enough, but they were ugly pines arid firs, or beech,with all the Ibwer branches lopped away for, firewood. We had two miles or more of this interesting landscape, and then we .came, out upon a .great wide space planted with mangel and beetrpot, and all cut up with little drains, or canals of running water ; and in the middle of this, like a great, big, black dirty gaolj stood the Castle of Wolfenfels. I give you my first im- pressions honestly, Molly, because, on , nearer acquaintance^ I have lived to see them changed. : . I must say our reception drove aU other thoughts away. The old Baron was confined to his room with the gout, and couldn't come down to meet us ; but the discharge of camion, the sounds of music, and the joyful. shouts of the .pfepple— -of whom there were some hun- dreds assembled^-was really imposing. The young Baron, too, looked far more awake and alive than .he used to do at Bonn ; and . he was dressed in a kind of uniform that rather became him. He was overjoyed at our arrival, and kissed K. I. and James on both cheeks, and .made them look very much ashamed before aU the people. " Never was my poor Castle so much honoured," said he, " since the King of — somewhere I forget— came to pass the night here with my ancestor, Conrad von Wolfenschafer ; and that was in the sixth century." " Begad, it's easy to see you have had no Encumbered Estates Court," saidK. I., " or you wouldn't be here to tell us that." " My ancestor did not hold from the King," said he. " He was not what you call a vessel !" //"^^ .■ . THE DODD rAMlLX ABBOiLD. 341 K. I. laughed, and only said :_ " Faith, there's many of us mighty weak vessels, and very leaky besides." After that he conducted us through two lines of his memals.^ " I do detest to have so many ' detainers' "—he meant retainers. " I hope you are less annoyed in this respect." "Tou don't dislike them more than I do," said K. I. ; "the very name makes me shudder." « How your Eader and I agree !" said he to Mary Anne. " We are one family already." And we aU laughed heartUy as we went to our rooms. Every country has its own ways and habits, but I must say, Molly, that the furniture of these Castles is very mean. There were two chil- dren's beds for K. I. and myself— at least they didn't look longer than the beds in the nursery at home — ^with what K. I. called a swansdown poultice for coverlid ; no curtains of any kind, and the pillows as big as a small mattress. Eour oak chairs, and a looking- glass the size of your face, and a chest of drawers that wouldn't open, and that K. I. had to make serviceable by lifting off the marble slab on the top— this was all our room contained. There were old swords and pikes hung up in abundance, and a tree of the family history, framed and glazed, over the chimney — but these had little to do towards making the place comfortable. " He's a good farmer, anyhow," said K. I., looking out of the window. " I didn't see such turnips since I left England." " I suppose he has a good Steward," said I, for I began to fear that K. I. would make some blunder, and speak to the Baron about crops, and so forth. " Them driUs are as neat as ever I seen," said he, half to him- self " Look now, K. I.," said I to him gravely ; " make your own re- marks on whatever you like, but remember where we are, and that it's exactly the same as if we were on a visit to the Duke of Leinster at home. If you must ask questions about farming, always say — ' How does your Steward do this ?' ' What does he think of that ?' Keep in mind that the Aristocracy doesn't dirty its fingers abroad as it does in England, with agracultural pursuits, and that they have neither prizes for cows nor cottagers !" "Mrs. D.," said he, turning on me like a tiger, "are you going to teach me polite breeding and genteel manners ?" "I wish to the Saints I could," said I, "if the lesson was only good for a week." " Look now," said he ; " if I detect the slightest appearance of any drilling or training of me — if I ever find out that you want to im- 342 THE BODD EAMIIT ABBOAD. pose me on the world for anything but what I am — may I never do any good if I don't disgrace you aE by my behaviour !" " Can you be worse ?" said I. "I can," said he; "a devilish deal worse." And with that he went out of the room with a bang that nearly tore the door off its hinges, and never came back till late in the evening. We apologised for his not appearing at dinner, by saying that he felt fatigued, and requested that he might be permitted to sleep on undisturbed ; and as happUy he did go to bed when he returned, the excuse succeeded. So that you see, Molly, even in the midst of splendour and great- ness, that man's temper, and the mean ways he has, keeps me in per- petual hot water. I know, besides, that when he is downright angry, he never cares for consequences, nor counts the damage of anything. He'd just go down and teU the Baron that we hadn't a sixpence we could call our own ; that Dodsborough was mortgaged for three times its value ; and that, maybe, to-morrow or next day we'd be sold out in the 'Cumbered Court. He'd expose me and Mary Anne without the slightest compunctuation, and there's not a family secret he wouldn't publish to the servants' hall ! Don't I remember weU, when the 55th was quartered at Bruff, he used to boast at the Mess that he couldn't give his daughters a far- thing of fortune, when any man with proper feelings, and a respect for his position, would have made it seem that the girls had a snug thing quite at their own disposal. Isn't the world ready enough, MoUy, to detect one's little failings and shortcomings, without our going about to put them in the Hue and Cry. But that was always the way with K. I. He used to say, "It's no disgrace to us if we can't do, this ;" " It's no shame if we're not rich enough for, that." But I say, it is both a shame and a disgrace if ifs found out, MoUy. That's the whole of it! I used to think that coming abroad might have taugbt him some- thing — that he'd see the way other people lived, and simUate himself to their manners and customs. Not a bit of it. He grows worse every day. He's more of a Dodd now than the hour he left home. The consequence is, that the whole responsibility of supporting the credit of the family is thrown upon me and Mary Anne. I don't mean to say that we are unequal to the task, but siirely the whole burden needn't be laid upon our shoulders. That we are on the spot from which I write these lines, is aU my own doing. "When we first met the young Baron at Bonn, K. I. tried to prejudice us against him ; he used to ridicule him to James and the girls, and went so far 2A to say that he was sure he was a low fellow ! THE DODD EAMILT ABEOAD. 343 What an elegant blunder we'd have made if we'd took his advice. It's all very fine saying he doesn't "look like this" — or he hasn't an " air of that ;" sure nobody can he taken by his appearance abroad. The scrubbiest old snuffy creatures that go shambling about with shoes too big for them, airing their pocket-handkerchiefs in the sun, are Dukes or Marquises, and the elegantly dressed men in light blue frocks, all frogs and velvet, are just Bagmen or watering-place Doctors. It takes time, and great powers of discriminaHty, Molly, to divide the sheep from the goats ; but I have got to that point at last, and I'm proud to say that he must be a really shrewd hand that imposes upon your humble servant. Long as this letter is, I'd have made it longer if I had time, for though we're only a short time here, I have made many remarks to myself about the ways and manners of foreign country life. The post, however, only goes out once a week, and I don't wish to lose the occasion of giving you the first intelligence of where we are, what we are doing, and what's — ^with the Virgin's help — ^before us ! Up to this, it has been aU hospitalities and the honours of the house, and I suppose, until the old Baron is up and able to see us, we'U. hear no more about the marriage. At all events, you may men- tion the matter in confidence to Father John and Mrs. Clancey ; and if you like to teU the Davises, and Tom Kelly, and Margaret, I'm sure it will be safe with them. Tou can state that the Baron is one of the first families in Europe, and the richest. His Great- Grandfather, or Mother, I forget which, was half-sister to the Empress of Poland, and he is related, in some way or other, to either the Grand Turk, or the Grand Duke of Moravia — ^but either will do to speak of. All the cellars under the Castle are, they say, filled with gold, in the rough, as it came out of his mines, and as he lives in, what might be called, an unostensible manner, his yearly savings is immense. I suppose while the old man lives the young couple will have to con- form to his notions, and only keep a moderate establishment, but when the Lord takes him, I don't know Mary Aime if she'll not make the money fly. That I may be spared to witness that blessed day, and see jny darhng child in the enjoyment of every happiness, and aU the pleasures of wealth, is the constant prayer of your faithful friend, Jemima Dodd. P.S.— If Maiy Anne has finished her sketch of the Castle, I'll send it vidth this. She'd have done it yesterday, but unfortunately she hadn't a bit of red she wanted for a fisherman's small-clothes — fop it seems they always wear red in a picture — and had to send down to the town, eleven miles, for it. Address me still here when you write, and let it be soon. 344 THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAD. LETTEE XXXVII. KENNY JAMES DODD TO THOMAS PUBOELL, ESQ., OF THE GRANGE, BSni'F. " The Castle of Wolfenfels." Mr DEAE Tom, I'm glad old Molly has shown you Mrs. D.'s epistle, which, inde- pendent of its other claims, saves me all the trouble of explaining where we are, and how we came there. "We arrived here on Wed- nesday last, and since that have been living a very quiet, humdrtun, kind of monotonous life, which, were it in Ireland, we should call honestly, tiresome; but, as the scene is Grermany and the Black Eorest, I suppose should be chronicled as highly romantic and in- teresting. , To be plain, Tom, we inhabit a big house — they call it a Castle — in the midst of a large expanse of maize and turnips, backed by a dense wood of pines. "We eat and drink in a very plain sort of over-abundant and greasy fashion. We sleep in a thing like the drawer of a cabinet, with a large pincushion on our stomachs for covering. We smoke a home-grown weed, that has some of the bad properties of tobacco ; and we ponder — at least I do — of how long it would take of an existence like this to make a man wish himself a member of the vegetable creation. Don't fancy that I'm growing ex- orbitant in my demands for pleasure and amusement, nor believe that I have forgotten the humidrum uniformity of my life at home. I remember it all, and weU. I can recal the lazy hours passed in the sunshine of our few summer days — I can bring back to mind the wearisome watching of the rain, as it poured down for a spell of two months together, when we asked each other every morning, " "What's to become of the wheat ? How are we to get in the turf, if this lasts ?' ' The newspapers, top, only alternated their narratives of outrage with flood, and spoke of bridges, mills, and mail-coaches being carried away in all directions. I mention these to show you that, though " Ear from the Land," not a trait of it isn't green in my memory. But stiU, Tom, there was, so to say, a tone and a keeping in the picture, which is wanting here. Our home dulness impressed itself as a matter of necessity, not choice. "We looked out of our window at a fine red- brick mansion, two miles away — where we've drank many a bottle of claret, and, in younger days, danced the " "White Cockcade " till morning — and we see it a police-station, or mayhap a union. A starved dog dashes past the door with a hen in his mouth ; we recog- THE DODB TAMIIiT ABEOAB. 345 nise him as the last remnant of poor Petherstone's foxhoimds, now broken up and gone. The smoke doesn't rise, from the midst of the little copses of beech and alder, along the river side ; no, the cabins are all roofless, and their once inhabitants are now in Australia, or toiling to enrich the Commonwealth of America. There is a stir and a movement going forward, it is true ; but un- like that which betokens the march of prosperity and gain, it only implies transition. Ay, Tom, all is changing around us. The Gentry are going, the Middle Classes are going, and the Peasant is going ; some, of their free will ; more, from hard necessity. I know that the general opinion is favourable to all this — in England at least. The cry is ever, " Ireland is improving — ^Ireland will be better." But my notion is, that by Ireland we should understand not alone the sqU, the rocks, and the rivers, but the people — the heart, and soul, and life- blood that made the island the generous, warm-hearted, social spot we once knew it. Take away these, and I no longer recognise it as my country. What matters it to me if the Scotchman or the Nor- folk farmer is to prosper where we only could exist ? My sympathies are not vrith him. You might as weU try and console me for the death of my child by showing me how comfortably some other man's boy could sleep m his bed. I want to see Ireland prosper with Irishmen ; and I wish it, because I know in my heart the thing is possible and practicable. I'm old enough — and, indeed, so are you — to remember when the English used to be satisfied to laugh at our blunders and our buHs, and ridicule our eccentricities ; but the spirit of the times is changed, and now they've taken to rail at us, and abuse us, as if we were the greatest villains in Europe. They assume the very tone the Tailkee adopts to the Eed Man, and frankly say, " Tou must be extirpated !" Hence the general flight that you now witness. Men naturally say, " Why cling to a land that is no longer secure to us ? Why Hnk our destinies to a soil that may be denied to us to-morrow ?" And the English wiU be sorry for this yet. Take my word of it, Tom, they'll rue it ! Paddy, by reason of his poverty and his taste for adventure, and a touch of romance ia his nature, was always ready to enlist. He didn't know what might not turn out of it. He knew that WeHLng- ton was an Irishman, and faith, he had only to read very little to learn that most of the best men came from the same country. Luck might, then, stand to him, and, at all events, it wasn't a bad change from fourpence a day, stone-breaking ! Wow, John BuU took another view of it. Se was better off at home. He hadn't a spark of adventure about him. His only notion 346 THE DODD EAMTLT ABBOAD. of worldly advancement led through money. Ton'U not catch Mm becoming a soldier. Every year wiU. make him less and less disposed to the Ufe. Cheapen food and luxuries, reduce tariffs and the cost of foreign produce, and the labourer -will think twice before he'U give up home and its comforts, to be, as the song says, Froud as a goat, With a fine scarlet coat. And a long cap and feather! Turn over these things in your nund, Tom, and see if England has not made a great mistake in eradicating the very class she might have reckoned upon, in any warlike emergency. Take my word for it, it is a fine thing to have at your disposal a hundred thousand fellows who can esteem a shining a day a high premium, and who are not too well off ia the world to be afraid of leaving it ! How did I come here at aE. ? "What has led mp into this digression ? I protest to you solemnly, Tom, I don't know. I can only say, that my hand trembles, and my head throbs with indignation, as I think over this insolent cant, that teUs us that Ireland has no chance of prosperity save in ceasing to be Irish. It is worse than a lie — it is a mean, cowardly slander ! I must leave off this till my brain is calmer ; besides, whether it is the light wiues I'm drinking, or my anger has brought it on, but I've just got a terrible twinge of gout ia my right foot. Tuesday Eveiiing. I have passed a miserable twenty-four hours. They've all the in- centives to gout in this country, and yet they don't appear to have the commonest remedies against it. I sent Belton's recipe to be made up at the apothecaries, and they had never as much as heard of one of the ingredients ! They told me to regulate my diet, and be careful to avoid acids — and this while I was bellowing like a bull with pain. It was like repljdng to my request for a shirt, by saying that they were going to sow flax in August. It's their confounded cookery, and the vinegar we wash it down with, has given me this ! The old Housekeeper at last took compassion on my sufferings, and made me up a kind of broth of herbs that nearly finished me. She assured me that they all grew wild in the fields, and were fipeely eaten by the cattle. I can only say it's well that Nebuchadnezzar wasn't put out to graze here ! Sea-sickness was a mild nausea compared to it. I'm better now ; but so low, and so depressed, and with such loss of energy, that in a discussion with Mrs. D. about Mary Anne'a " trousseau," as they caU'it, I gave in to everything. THE DODD FAMILY ABBOAD. 347 Since this attack seized me, events have made great progress ; in- deed, a suspiciously-minded person wouldn't scruple to say that a mild poison had been administered to me to forward the course of negotiations ; and in my heart and soul I believe that another bowl of the same broth would make me consent to my daughter's union with the Bey of Tunis ! The poor old Dean of Lurra used to say of the Baths of Kreutznach, " I've lost enough flesh in three weeks to make a Curate !" — and, indeed, when I look at myself in the glass, I turn involuntarily around to see where's the rest of me ! Meanwhile, as I said, aU has been arranged and settled, and the marriage is fixed for an early day in the coming week. I suppose it's all for the best. I take it that the match is a very great one ; but I own to you frankly, Tom, I'd have fewer misgivings if the dear child was going to be the wife of some respectable man of her own country, though he had neither a Castle to live in, nor a title to bestow. Foreigners are essentially and totally different from us in every- thing ; and marrying one of them is, to my thinking, the very next thing to being united to some strange outlandish beast, as one reads of in Fairy Tales. I suppose that my prejudice is a very mean and narrow-minded one ; but I can't get rid of it. It looks churlish and cold-hearted in me, that I cannot show the same joy on the occasion that the others display ; but with aU my efforts, and the very best will, I can't do it, Tom. The bridegroom, too, is not to my taste : he is one of those moping, dreamy, moonstruck fellows, that pass their lives in an imaginary sphere of thought and action ; and to my thinking these people are distasteful to the world at large, and insuf- ferable to their wives. I think I see that Mary Anne already anticipates he wiU prove a stubborn subject. Her Mother, however, gives her courage and support. She gently insinuates, too, that worse eases have been treated successfully. Lord help us, it's a strange world ! As to the material features of the affair — I mean as regards means and fortune — ^he appears to have more than enough, yet not so much as to prevent his giving a very palpable hint to me about what I in- tended to give my daughter. He made the overture with a most laudable candour, though, I own, with no excess of delicacy. James, however, had in a manner prepared me for it, and mentioned that I was indebted for this gratification, as I am for a variety of others, to Mrs. D, It seems that, by way of giving a very imposing notion of our possessions, she had cut the county map out of O'KeUy's old 348 THE DOJDD FAMILY ABEOAD. Gazetteer, and passed it off for the survey of our estate. Of course I couldn't disavow the statement, and have been reduced to the plea- sant alternative of settling on my daughter about five Baronries and tweiity town-lands of Tipperary, with no inconsiderable share of vil- lages and hamlets. Some old leases, an insurance policy, and a writ against myself ! have served me for title-deeds ; and though the young Baron pores over them for hours with a dictionary, thanks to the figurative language of the law, they have defied detection ! The Father is stiU too ill to receive me, but each day I am pro- mised an interview with him. Of what benefit to either of us it is to prove, may be guessed from the fact that we cannot speak to each other. Tou will perceive from all this, Tom, that I am by no means enamoured of our approaching greatness ; and it is but fair to state that James is even less so ! He calls the Baron a " Snob ;" and pro- bably, in aU the fashionable vocabulary of an enlightened age, a more depreciatory epithet could not be discovered. What a sham and a humbug is all the parade we make of our parental affection, and what a gross cheat, too, do we practise upon ourselves by it ! We train up a girl from infancy with every care and devotedness — ^we surround her with all the luxuries our means can compass, and every affection of our hearts — and we give her away, for " better and for worse," to the first fellow that offers with what seems a reasonable chance of being able to support her ! Many of us wouldn't take a Butler with the scanty knowledge we accept a son-in-law. His moral qualities, his disposition, the habits he has been reared in — what do we know of them ? Less than nothing ! And yet, while we ask about these, and twenty more, of the man to whom we are about to confide the key of our cellar, we entrust the happiness of our child to an unknown individual, the only ascertained, fact about whom — if even that be so — is, his in- coine ! As I should like to teU you every step I take in this affair, I'll not send off my letter till I can give you the latest information. Mean- while, let me impress upon you that it is now three months since I received a shilling from Ireland. James has just informed me that there is not fifty pounds left of the M'Carthy legacy, of which his Mother only gave him permission to draw for three hundred. The debate upon this, when it comes, wUl be strong. What I intend is, that immediately after Mary Anne's marriage we should return to Ireland ; but of course I reserve the declaration for a fitting oppor- tunity, since I weU know how it will be received. Gary would never THE DODD FAMILY ABROAD. d*y marry a foreigner, nor would anything induce me to consent to her doing so. James is only frittering away his best years here in idle- ness and dissipation ; and if I can get nothing for him from the Govemment, he must emigrate to Australia or New Zealand. As for Mrs. D., the sooner she gets home to Dodsborough, the better for her health, her means, and her morals ! I am afraid to say a word about Ireland and Irish afiairs, for as sure as I do I stick fest there ; stiU I must say that I think you're wrong for abusing those Members that have accepted office from Govemment. Put it to yourself, my dear Tom : if anybody offered you fifty pounds for the old grey mare you drive into market of a Saturday, would you set about explaiaing that she was blind of an eye, and a roarer, with a splint before, and a spavin behind ? "Wouldn't you rather expatiate upon her blood and breeding, her endurance of fatigue, and her fine trotting action? I don't know you if you wouldn't! WeU, it's just the same with these fellows. Briefless Lawyers and distressed Gentlemen as they are, why should they say to the Ministry, " Tou're giving too much for us ; we can neither speak for you, nor write for you ; we have neither influence at home, nor power abroad ; we are a noisy, riotous, disorderly set of devils, always quarrelling amongst ourselves, and never agreeing, except when there's a bit of robbery or roguery to be done ; don't think of buying us; it is a clear waste of public money; we'd only disgrace, and not benefit you ?" If anybody is to be blamed, it is the Ministers that bought them, Tom. As to all your disputed questions of Education, Tenant-right, and Taxation, take my word for it you have no chance of settling them amicably ; and for this reason: a great number of excellent men, on both sides, have pledged themselves so strongly to particular opi- nions, that they cannot decently recant, and yet they begin to see many points in a different view, and woidd, were the matter to come fresh before them, treat it in another fashion. If you really wish to see Ireland better, try and get people to let her alone for some fifteen or twenty years. She is nearly ruined by doctoring. Just wait a bit, and see if the natural goodness of constitution won't do more for her than all your nostrums. James has just interrupted me, to say that he has shot the "par- tridge," for it seems there was only one in the country. That's the fruits of revolution. Before the year '48, this part of Germany abounded in game of every sort — partridges, hares, and quails, in immense abundance, besides plenty of deer on the hills, and that ex- cellent bird the " Auer-Hahn," which is like the black cock we have at 330 THE DODD EAMILT ABEOAD. home. "WTien the troubles came, the peaBants shot everything ; and now the whole breed of game is extinct. They tell me it is the same throughout Bohemia and Hungary — ^the two best sporting countries in all Europe. Foreigners were never oppressed with game-laws as we are ; there was a far wider liberty enjoyed by them in this respect, and, iu consequence, the privileges were less abused ; so that really this wholesale destruction is much to be regretted. But is it not exactly what always foUows in every case of popular domination ? The masses love excess, and are never satisfied with anything short of it. I don't pretend to say that the Germans had not good and valid reasons for beiag dissatisfied with their Governments. I beheve, in my heart, it would be difficult to imagine a more stupid piece of ingenious blundering than a German Administration ; and this is the less excusable when one thinks of the people over whom they rule. The excesses of that same year of '48 will be the stock-in-trade for these grinding Governments for many a day to come. It is like a " barring out" to a cruel schoolmaster: the excuse for any violence he may wish to indulge in. At the same tnne I say this, I tell you frankly that none of the foreigners I have yet seen are fit for the system of a representative Government. I^om whatever causes I know not, but they are less patient, less given to calm investigation than the English. Their perceptions are as quick — ^perhaps quicker — but they will not weigh the consequences of conflicting interests, and above all, they vriU not put any restrictions upon their own liberty for the benefit of the community at large. Their origin, climate, tra- ditions, and so forth, of course influence them greatly ; but I have a notion, Tom, that our domesticity has a very considerable share in the formation of that temperate and obedient spirit so observable amongst us. I think I see the sly dimple that's deepening in the corner of your mouth as you murmur to yourself, " Keimy James is thinking of his Mrs. D." " He's pondering over the natural results of home discipline." But that is not what I mean, at least it is not the whole of it. My theory is, that a EamUy is the best training-school for the virtues that prosper in a well-ordered State, and that the little incidents of home life have a wonderful bearing upon, and similarity to, the great events that stir mankind ! I was going to become very abstruse and incomprehensible, I've no doubt, on this theme, but Mrs. D. just dropped in with a small cata- logue of some three hundred and twenty-one articles Mary Anne re- quires for her wedding. I ventured to hint that her Mother entered the connubial state with a more modest preparation ; and hereupon arose one of those THE BODD PAMILT ABEOAD. 351 liyely discussions now so frequent between us, ia which, amidst other desultory and miscellaneous remarks, she drew a graphic con- trast between marryiag a man of rank and title, and " making a low connexion that has for ever served to alienate the affection of one's famUy." Will you teU me what peculiarity there is in the atmosphere, or the food, or the electric influences abroad, that have made a woman, that was at least occasionally reasonable at home, a most unmanage- able fury on the Continent ? I don't want to deny that we had our little differences at Dodsborough, but they were "tiffs" — mere skir- mishes — ^but here they are downright pitched battles, Tom. She wiU have it so, too. She won't exchange a few shots and retire, but she comes up in line, with her heavy artillery, and seems resolved to have a day of it ! If this blessed tour brought me no other pleasures than these, I'd have reason to thank it ! Tou, of course, are quite ready to assert that the fault is as much mine as hers — that I pro- voke contradiction — that I even invite conflict ! There, you are per- fectly in the wrong! I do, I acknowledge, entrench myself in a strong position, and only Are an occasional shot at any tempting ex- posure of the enemy ; but she comes on by storm and escalade, and sparing neither age nor sex, never stops till she's ia the very heart of the citadel. That I come out maimed, crippled, and disabled from such encounters, is not to be wondered at. Amongst the other signs of progress of our enlightened age, a very remarkable one is the habit, now become a law, for everybody with any pretensions to the rank of a Gentleman to live ia the same style, or, at least, with as close an imitation as he can of it, as persons of large fortune. Men like myself were formerly satisfied with giving their friends a little Sherry and Port at dinner, continued afterwards, tUl some considerate friend begged, " as a favour," for a glass of Pimch. Now we start with Madeira after the soup, if you haven't had oysters and Chablis before. Hock with your first Entree, and Champagne afterwards, graduating into Chambertia with " the roast," and Pacqua- rete with the dessert. Claret, at double the price it costs ia Ireland, closing the entertainment. Why, a Duke cannot do]more than Kenny Dodd at this rate ! To be sure the cookery will be more refined, and the wiaes in higher condition. Meet will be iced to its due point, and Chateau Margaux will be served in a carefully aired decanter ; but the cost, the outlay, vnU be fully as much in one case as the other. Have we — that is to say, humble men like myself — gained by this ia an iateUectual or social poiat of view ? Not a bit of it ! We have lost all that easy cordiality that was native to us in our former 352 THE DOBD FAMILY ABEOAB. condition, and we have not become as coldly polite and elegantly tiresome as the grand folk. The same system observes in other matters. My daughter must be dressed on .her wedding-day Uke Lady Olivia or Lady Jemima, who has a father a Marquis, and fifty thousand pounds settled on her for pia-money. The whole Griobe has to become tributary to the marriage of Mary Anne ! Cashmere sends a shawl ; Lyons, silk ; and Grenoa, velvet ; furs from Hudson's Bay, and feathers from Mexico ; Valenciennes and Brussels contribute lace ; Paris reserving for her peculiar share the architectural skill that is to combine these costly materials, and construct out of them that artistic being they call a " Bride." Taking a wife with nothing, " but the clothes on her back," used to be the ex- pression of, a most disinterested marriage. Kow, it might mean any- thing between Swan and Edgar's and HoweU and James's, or, to state it differently, between moderate embarrassment and irretrievable ruin! If you ask me how I am to pay for all this, or when ? I teU. you honestly and fairly, I don't know. As well as I can make out the last accounts you sent me, we're getting deeper into debt every day; but as figures always distract and puzzle me, I'd rather you'd put the case into something like a statement in words, just saying when we may expect a remittance, and how much it will be. I find that I shall lose the mail if I don't close this at once ; but I'U send you a few lines by to-morrow's post, as I have something important to say, but can't remember it now. Tours, ever sincerely, Kenitt James Dobb. THE BODD EAMILT ABEOAD. S53 LETTEE XXXVIII. EENNT JAMES SODD TO THO«AS FUKCELL, ESQ., OF THE OBANOE, BBVFF. Mt beae Tom, The post hadn't left this five minutes yesterday, when I remem- bered what I wanted to say to you. "Wednesday, the 26th, is fixed for the happy occasion ; and if nothing should intervene, you may insert the following paragraph ia the Tipperwry Press, under the accustomed heading of "Marriage ia High Life:" — "The Baron Adolf Heinrich Conrad Blapsburg von Wolfenschafer, Lord of the Manors of Hohendeken, Kalbsbratenhausen, and Schweinkraut, to Mary Anne, eldest daughter of Kenny James Dodd, Esq., of Dods- borough, in this county." Faith, Tom, I was near saying "uni- versally regretted by a large circle of afflicted survivors," for I was just wishing myself dead and buried ! But you must put in the usual formula of " beautiful and accomplished," and take care it is not applied to the Bridegroom, for, upon my conscience, his claim to the first epithet couldn't be settled by even a Parliamentary title ! My heart is heavy about it all, and I wish it was over ! If anything exemplifies the vanity of human wishes, it is our efibrts to marry our daughters, and our regrets when the plans succeed. Tom goes to India, and BiUy to sea, and there is scarcely a gap in the family circle. " The boys" were seldom at home — they were shoot- ing in Scotland, or hunting in England, or fishing in Norway. They never, so to say, made part of the efiective garrison of the house ; they came and went with that racketty good-himiour that even in quiet families is pleasurable; but your girls are household gods: lose them, even one of them, and the altar is despoiled. The thousand little unobtrusive duties, noiseless cares, that make home better a hundred-fold than anywhere else, be it ever so rich and splendid — the unasked solicitude, the watchful attention that provides for your little daily wants and habits, is aU iheir province. And just fancy, then, what scheming and intriguing we practise to get rid of them ! Tou'U say that this shows we are above the selfishness of only con- sidering our own enjoyment, and that we sacrifice aU. for their happi- ness.. There you mistake; our sole aim is a rich man — our one notion of a good marriage is, that the husband be wealthy. It's not a man like myself, who has sometimes paid fifty, ay, sixty per cent, for money, that can afford to sneer at and despise it ; but this I wiU. say, that the mere possession of it wiU. not suffice for happiness. I know fellows with fifteen thousand a year that have not the heart to 2a 354l TSB DODD PAMIIT ABEOAB. spend five hundred. I know others, that with as much, are always over head and ears in debt, raising cash everywhere, and any how ! What kind of life must a girl lead that marries either of these ; and yet would you or I think of refusing such a match for a daughter,? Let me tell you, Tom, that fot people of small fortune, the Nun- neries were fine things ! What signifies serge and simple diet to the wearisome drudgery of a G-overness. If I was a woman, I think I'd rather sit in my quiet cell, working an embroidered suit of body clothes for Father O'Leary, than I'd be snubbed by the femiiy of some vulgar citizen, tortured by the brats, and insulted by the servants. I don't suppose that it signifies a straw one way or other, but I feel some compunctions of conscience at the way I have been assigning imaginary estates, mines, woods, and collieries, to Mary Anne, for the last three days. I know it's mere greed makes the Baron so eager on the subject, since he is enormously wealthy. James and I rode twelve miles, this morning, through a forest that belongs to the Castle, and the arable land stretches more than that distance in another direction ; but who knows how he'll behave when he ■discovers she has nothing! To be sure, we can always ascribe our ruin to political causes, and, in verification, exhibit ourselves as poor as need be ; but stiU I don't like it. And this is one of the blessed results of g, false position — one step in a wrong direction very frequently necessitates a long journey. Yesterday, I protested to my affluence; to-day, I vouched for the nobility of my family. Heaven only can teU what I won't swear to to-morrow ! And again I am intCTrnpted by Mrs. D., who has just come to inform me that though the Bride's finery can all be had at Paris — -"whither the happy couple are to Tepaar for the honey- moon—there are certain indispensables must be obtained at once from Baden; and she begs that I will privately write a few lines to Morris, who wUl, of course, undertake the commission. It is not without shame that I enclose a list of purchases to make, which, to a man who knew what we were in Ireland, will appear preposteroae; but the false position we have attained to is surrounded with inter- minable mortifications of the same kind. Ah, Tom ! I remember the time when, if a Bride changed her smart white silk and muslin that she wore at the altar for a good brown or blue satin pelisse to travel in, we thought her a miracle of fashion and finery ; but now the millinery of a wedding is the prin- cipal thing. There is a stereotyped formula, out of which there is no hope of conjugal happiness ; and the Bride that begins life vrithout Brussels lace, enters upon her career with gloomy omens ! Now, a scarf of this alone costs thirty guineas ; you may, if you like, go as Hgh as a hundred and fifty. Why can't people wait for the ruin that is so sure to overtake them, without forestalling it in this way ? THE DODB TAMILT JUBEOAB. 355 Twenty pounds for clothes, and a trip to Castle Connel or Kilkee for the honeymoon, would have satisfied every wish of Mary Anne's heart in Ireland ; and if she drove away in a post-chaise with foiu: horses for the first stage, she'd have been the envy of all the mar- riageable girls for miles round. But now I have had to ask Morris to buy a travelling carriage, because Mrs. D., in one of those expansions of splendour that occa- sionally attack her, said to the Baron, " Oh, take one of our car- riages, we have left several of them at Baden," The excellent woman cannot be brought to perceive that romance of this kind is a most expensive amusement. I have drawn a biU on you for four hundred at three months, to meet these, and sent it to Morris to " get done." I hope he'll succeed, and I hope you'll pay it when it comes due; so that come what wUl, Tom, my intentions are honourable ! If Mrs. D. and myself had been upon better terms, we might hare discussed this marriage question more ftdly and confidentially, but there are now so many cabinet difficulties, that we rarely hold a council, and when we do, we are sure to disagree. This is another blessed result of our continentalising. Home had its duties, and with them came that spirit of concord and agreement so essential to family happiness; but in this vagabond kind of existence, where everything is feigned, unreal, and unnatural, all concert and confi- dence is completely lost ! Now I have told you frankly and fairly everything about us, and don't take advantage of my candour by giving advice, for there is nothing in this world I have so little taste for. There's no man above the condition of an idiot that isn't thoroughly aware of his failings and shortcomings, but all that knowledge doesn't bring him an inch nearer the cure of them. Do you think I'm not fully alive to everything you could say of my wasteful habits, my improvidence, indolence, irritability, and so forth ? I know them all better than you do — ay, and I feel them acutely, too, for I know them to be incurable ! Eeformation, indeed ! Do you know when a man gives up dancing, Tom ? "When he's too stiff in the knees for it. There's the whole philosophy of life. "When we grow wiser, as they are pleased to call it, it is always in spite of ourselves ! I find that by enclosing this to Morris, he can forward it to you by the bag of the Legation. Once more let me remind you of our want of cash, and believe me, very faithfully your friend, KEinnr I. Dodb. P.S. — Address me TVeyburg, to be " forwarded to the Schloss, "Wolfenfels." 2a2 356 THE DODD TAMILT ABEOAD. LETTEE XXXIX. BETTT COBB TO MK^. SHUSAN o'SHBA, FSIEST''S IBOUSE, BBUIF. Deae Mes. Shttsait, I WAS meaning to write to you for tte last week, but couldn't by reason of the conflagration I was in, for sure any poor girl migbt feel it, seeing that I was far away among furriners, and had nobody to ad- vise, barrin' the evil counsels of my wicked heart. "We cam here two weeks gone, on a visit to the father of the young man that's going to marry "Mary Anne." It's a great big ould place,, like the Jail at Limerick, only darker, with little windows, and a flite of stairs out of every comer in it, And the furnishing isn't a bit newer. It's a bit of rag here and a rag there, an ould cabbinet, a hard sofia, and maybe four wooden chairs that would take a ladder to get into ! Eatin' and drinkin' likewise the same. Biled beef — biled first for the broth, and sarved afterwards with cow-comers, sliced and steeped in oil — the heavens preserve us! Then a dish of roast vale, with ras- berry jam and musheroons, for they tries the human stomich with every ingradiant they can think of! But the great favorite of aH is a salad made out of potatoes, biled hard, sliced and pickled the same way as the cow-comers ! A bowl of that, Mrs. Shusan, after a long dinner, makes you feel as full as a tick, and if the House was a-fire I couldn't run ! To be sure, when the meal is over everybody sits down to coffee, and doesn't distress themselves about anything for a matter of two hours. And, indeed, I must make the remark that " manials" isn't as badly treated any- where in the whole 'Versal Globe as in Ireland, and if it wasn't that I hear the people is runniu' away o' themselves, I'd write a letter to the Papers about it ! 'Tis exactly lilce Pigs you are, no better ; pota- toes And butter-mUk all the year round ! deny it if you can. Could you offer a Pig less wages than four pound a year ! I must say, too, Shusan, that eatin' one's fill moUy-fies ther nature, and subdues ther hasty dispositions in a wonderful way ; J know it, myself; and that after a strong supper now I can bear more from the Mistress than I used at home, only giving a sigh now and then out of the fullness of my heart. But it's not them thiogs I wanted to tell you, but of the state of my infections ! Don't be angry with me, Mrs. Shusan, I don't forget the iligant lessons you gave me long ago, about thrusting the men ; I know well how thrue every word you said THH BODD TAMILT ABBOAI).. 357 IS. They're base, and wicked, and deceatful!, Hatterin' ua when we're young and beautiful, and gibin' and jeeria' when we're ould as your- self ! But what's the use of fiting agin the wiU of Providence ? Sure, if he intended us to have better husbands it's not them craytures he'd have left us to ! My sentiments is these, Shusy : 'Tis a way of chas- tezia' us is marriage ! The throubles and tumults we have vnth a man are oxir crosses, and it's only cowardly to avoid them. Meet your feat, say I, whatever it be, whether it be a Man or the Measles ! don't be afraid ! I'm shure and sartain it's nothing but fear makes young girls go and be Nuns ; they're a&aid, and no wonder, of the wickedness of the world ! but somehow, Shusan, like everything else in this life, one gets used to it ! I know it well, there's many a thing I see now, without minding, that long ago I dared not look at ! " Live and learn" they say, and there's nothing so thrue ! and talking of that, you'd be shocked to see how Mary Anne goes on wid the young Baron. She, that would scarce let poor Doctor Belton spake to her alone. We meet them walkin' in the lonesomest places together ; and Taddy and I never goes into the far part of the wood without seeing them ! And that's not all of it, my dear, but she must get the Mistress to give me a lecture about going off myself with a man. "Doesn't your daughter do it,' Ma'am," says I. "Is aU the wicked- ness of this world," says I, " to be kept for one's betters ?" " Do you call marriage wickedness p" says she. " Sometimes it is, Ma'am," says I, with a look she understood well. " Tou're a Hussy," says she ; " and I'll give you wamin' next Saturday." " I'U take it now," says I, " Ma'am, for I'm going to better myself." If ye saw her face, Shusy, as I said this ! She knows in her heart that, she couldn't get on at all without me. Not a word of a ftirrin lingo can she say; and I'm obleeged to traduce her meanin' to all the other sarvants ! And, indeed, that's the way I become such an iHgant linguist ; and it's no differ to me now between talkin' French and Jarman — ^I make them just the same ! I wasn't in my room when Mary Anne was after me. " " Ain't you a fool, Betty ?" says she, puttin' a hand on my shoulder. " Maybe I am, Miss," says I ; " but there's others fools as well as me! I" " But I mean," says she, " isn't it siUy to Ml out with Mamma — that was always so good, and so kind, and so fond of you?" I saw at once, Shusy, how the wind was, and so I just went on, folding up my coUars and settling my things without a word. • 358 THE DODD FAMILT ABBOAS. " I'm sure," saya slie, " you couldn't leave her in a fer-away country like this !" " The dearest friends must part, Miss," says I. " Not to speak of your own desolate and deserted condition," r she. " There's them that won't lave me dissolute and disconsoled. Miss," says I. And with that, Shusy, I told her that Taddy Hetzler had made me honoiarable proposials. " But you'd not think of Taddy," says she. " He's only a Herd," says she. " "We must take what we can get, Misa," says I, " and be thankful, in this life." And she blushed red up to the eyes, Shusy ; for she knew well what I meant by tJiat ! "But a nice girl, and a puriy girl Hke yoo, Betty," says she, "gleuierm^i" me, "isn't it throwing yourself away; sure, ye have only to wait a little to make an iligant match here on the Continent. Don't be precipitouous," says she, "but see the effect you'U make with that beaatiful pink gownd ;" and here, Shusan, she gave me all as one as a bran new silk of the Mistress's, with five flounces, and lace trimmins down the front ! It's what they call glassy silk, and shines like it ! " I'm sorry, Miss," says I, " that as I took the Mistress's wamin', I'm obleeged to refuse you." " NoBseatise, Betty," says she ; " I'H arrange all that." " But my feelias. Miss, my feelins." " "WeU, I'll even engage to smooth these," says she, laughing. And so, Shusy, I had to laugh too ; for vaj nature is always to be easy and complyiant ; and when anybody means well to me, they can do what they plaze with me. ^It's a weak part in my charact^, but I can't help it. " I'm not able to be selfish. Miss Mary Anne," says L "No, Betty, tJial you are not," says she, patting my cheek. But for all that,, Shusy, I'm not going to give up Taddy till I know why — ^tho' I didn't say so to her. So I just put up the pink gownd ia my drawer, and went up and told the Mistress I'd stay ; but begged she wouldn't try my nerves that way another time, for my constitution wouldn't bear repated shocks ! I saw she was burstin' • to say samething, but darn't, Shusy, and she tore a lace cuff to tatters while I was talkin'. "WeU, well, there's no denyin' it any how: manials baa many troubles^ but they can give a great deal of annoy- ance and misery, if they set about it right ! You'd like to hear about Taddy, and I'll be candid and own that he isn't what would be called handsome in Ireland, though here he is reckoned a fine^looldng man ! THE DODD FAMILY ABUOAB. 359 He is Eoi foot four and a hal^ witliout shoes, a little bent in the shoulders, has long red hair, and sore eyes ; that cmns from the snow, for he's out in all weathers — after the pigs. Tou're surprised at that, and well you may ; for instead of keeping the craytures in a house as we do, and giving them all the filth we can find to eat, they turns them out wild into the woods, to eat beech-nuts, and acorns, and chestnuts j and the beasts grow so wicked, that it's not safe for a stranger to go near them; and even the man that guides them they call a " swine-fearer."* Taddy is one of these ; and when he's dressed in a goat-skin coat and cap, leather gaiters buttoned on his legs, and reacMn' to the hips, and a long pole, with an iron hook and a hatchet at the end of it, and a naked kmfe, two feet long, at his side, you'd think the pigs woxdd be more likely to be afraid of Mm I Indeed, the first time I saw him come into the kitchen, with a great hairy dog they call a fang-hound at his heels, I schreeched out with Mte, for 1 thought them — God forgive me ! — the ugliest pare I ever set eyes on. To be sure, the green shade he wore over his eyes, and the beard that grew down to his breast, didn't improve him ; but I've trimmed him. up since that ; and it's only a slight squint, and two teeth that sticks out at the side of his mouth, that I can't remedy at aU ! Paddy Byrne spends his time mockin' him, and makin' pictures of him on the servants' haU with a bit of charcoal. It well becomes a dirty little spalpeen like him to make fun of a man four times his size. His notion of manly beauty is four foot eight, short legs, long breeches and gaiters, with a waistcoat over the hips, and a Jim Crow ! A Monkey is graceful compared to it ! Taddy is not much given to talkin', but he has told me that he has been on the estate, "with the pigs," he calls it, since he was eight years old; and, as he said another time, that "he was nine-and- twenty years a herd;" you can put the two together, and it makes him out thirty-three or thirty-four years of age. He never had any father or mother, which is a great advantage, and, as he remarks, " it's the same to him if there came another flood and drowned all the world to-morrow I" Ovnr plans is, to live here tiU we can go and take a bit of land for ourselves, and as Taddy has saved something, and has very good idais . about his own advantage, I trust, with the Blessin* of the Virgin, that we'll do very well. This that I tell you now, Shusan, is all in con- fidence, because to the neighbours,* and to Sam Healey, you can say ♦ Perhaps the accomplished Betty has been led into this pardonable mistake from the sound of the German epithet " Schwein-fuhrer." — Editor of " Dodd Correspondence." 360 THE BODD FAMILY ABEOAB. that I am going to Tje married to a rich farmer that has more pigs — and that's thrue — than ye'd see ia Ballinasloe Pair. ' What distresses me most of aU is, I can't make out what religion he's of, if he has any at all ! I try him very hard about penance and 'tamal punishments, but all he says is, " When we're married I'll know all about that." As the Mistress writ all about Mary Anne's marriage to Mrs. G-allagher, at the House, I don't say anything about it ; but he's an ugly crayture, Shusan, dear, and there's a hang-dog, treach'rous look about him, I wonder any young girl could like. The servants, too, knows more of him than they lets on, but, by rayson of their furrin language, there's no coming at it. Between ourselves, she doesn't take to the marriage at all ! for I seen her twice cryin' in her room over some ould letters, but she bundled them up whin she seen me, and tried to laugh. "I wonder, Betty," says she, ''will I ever see Dodsborough again!" " Who knows. Miss," says I ; " but it would be a pity if you didn't, and so many there that's fond of you !" " I don't believe it," says she, sharp. " I don't believe there's one cares a bit about me !" " Baithershin !" says I, mocking. " Who does ?" says she ; " can ye tell me even one ?" " Sure there's Miss Davis," says I, " and the Kellys, and there's Miss Kitty Doolan, and ouldMoUy, not to spake of Dr. Bel " "There, do not speak of him," says she, getting red; "the very names of the people make me shudder. I hope I'll never see one of them." Now, Shusan, dear, I told you all that it's in my mind, and hope you'll write to me the same. If you could send me the grey cloak with the blue liaiu', and the Bayver bonnet I wore last winter two years, they'd be useful to me here, and you could tell the neighbours that it was new clothes you were sending me for my weddin'. Be sure ye teU me how Sam Healey bears it. Tell him from me, with my regards, that I hope he won't take to drink, and desthroy his constitution. Tou can write to me stiU as before, to your attached and true friend, Bettx Cobb. THE DOBD EAMILT ABEOAJ). 361 LETTEE XL. KENNT I. DODD TO THOMAS FUBCELL, ESQ., OF THE GBANOE, BBT7FF. Constance, Switzerland. Mt deae Tom, Beeoee passion gets the better of me, and I forget all about it, let me acknowledge thewelcome, arrival of your Post BiU for one hundred ; but for which, Heaven knows in what additional embarrassment I might now be in. Tou will see, by the address, that I am in Swit- zerland. How we came here I'll try and explain, if Providence grants me patience for the efibrt ; this being the third time I have addressed myself to the task unsuccessfully. I need not refer to the situation in which my last letter to you left us. Tou may remember that I told you of the various preparations that were then in progress for a certain auspicious event, whose, accomplishment was fixed for the ensuing week. Amongst others, I wrote to Morris for some articles of dress and finery to be procured at Baden, and for, if possible, a comfortable travelling carriage, with a sufficiency of boxes and imperials. Of course in doing so it was necessary, or at least it was fitting, that I should make mention of the cause for these extraordinary pre- parations, and I did so by a very brief allusion to the coming event, and to the rank of my future son-in-law, the youthful Baron and heir of Wolfenfels. I am not aware of having said much more than this, for my letter was so crammed with commissions, and catalogues, of purchases, that there was little space disposable for more intelli- gence. I wrote on a Monday, and on the following "Wednesday evening I was taking a stroU with James through the park, chatting over the approaching event in our family, when a mounted postboy galloped up with a letter, which being marked " Most pressing and immediate," the postmaster had very properly forwarded to me vrith all expedition. It was in Morris's hand, and very brief. I give it to you verbatim. " Mt deae SlE, "Eor heaven's sake do not advance another step in this affair.. Tou have been grossly imposed upon. As soon as I can procure horses I wiU join you, and expose the most scandalous trick that has ever come to the knowledge of yours truly, " E. Moeeis. "Post-house, Tite See. 2 o'clock, p.m., Wednesday." 362 ^HE SODD lAMXLT ABBOAS. Tou may imagine — I cannot attempt to describe — ^the feelings with which James and I read and re-read these lines. I suppose we had passed the letter back and forwards to each other fully a dozen times, ere either of us could summon composure to speak. " Do you. understand it, James F" said I. "No," said he. "Jioyou?" " Not unless the scoundrel is married already," said I. "That was essactly what occurred to me" replied he. " 'Most scandalous trick,' are the words ; and they can only mean that." "Morris is snek a safe fellow — so invariably sure of whatever he says." "Precisely the way I take it," cried James. "He is far too cautious to make a grave charge withoirt ample evidence to sustaai it ! "We may rely upon it that he knows what he is about." " But Bigamy is a crime in G-ermany, They send a fellow to &e Galleys for it," said I., "Is it likely that he'd put himself in such peril?" "Who knows!" said James, "if he thought he was going to get an English girl of high family, and with a pot of money !'* IShall I own to you, Tom, that remark of James's nearly stunned me — carelessly and casually as it fell from him, it almost overwhelmed me, and I asked myself why should he think she was of high family ? Why should he suppose she had a krge fortune ? Who was it that propagated these delusions 2 and if there really was a " scandalous trick," as Morris said, could I affirm that all the roguery was on one side P Gould I come into Court with dean hands, and say, " Mxa. Dodd has not been cheating, neither has Eienny James 1" Where are these broad acres of arable and pasture — ^these verdant forests and swelling lawms, that I have been bestowing with such boundless munificence E How shall we prove these fourteen quarterings that we have been quoting incessantly for the past three weeks ? No matter for that, thought I, at length. If the fellow has got another wife rU break every bone ia his skin ! I must have pondered this sentiment aloud, for James echoed it even more forcibly, adding, by way of sequel, " And kick him from this to Eotterdam !" I mention this iu detail to show that we both jumped at once to the same conclusion, and having done so, never disputed the correct- ness of bur guess. We now proceeded to discuss our line of action, James advising that he should be " brought to book" at once— I overmiling the counsel by showing that we could do nothing whatever till Morris arrived. , ". But to-nuorrow is fixed for the wedding ?" exclaimed James. THE DODD TAMILT ABBOAI. 363 " I know it," said I, " and Morris will be here to-night. At all eyents, the marriage shall not take place till he comes." " I'd charge him with it on the spot," cried James. " I'd tdl him, in plain terms, the information had come to me from an authority of unimpeachable veracity, and to refute it if he could." " Eefiite what E" said I. " Don't you see, boy, that we really are not in possession of any single feet — we have not even an alle- gation." • I assure you, Tom, that I had to make him read the note over again, word by word, before he was convinced of the case. As we walked back to the Castle we talked over the affair, and turned it in every possible shape, both of ua agreeing that we could not, with any safety, entrust our intelligence to the womankind. " We'll watch him," said James ; "we'H keep an eye on him, and wait for Morris." I own to you my feelings distressed me to that degree I could scarcely enter the house, and as to appearing at supper it was clean out of the question. How could I bring myself to accept the shelter of a man's roof agaiust whom I harboured the very worst suspidons ! Could I be Judas enough to sit down at table with one against whom I was hatching exposure and shame I It was bad enough to think that my wife and daughter were there. As for James, he took his place at the board with such an expression in his features that I verily believe Sangiuo looked a pleasanter guest at MaebetVs ban- quet. I betook myself to the terrace, and walked there till mid- night, waitchiug with eye and ear towards the road that led from Erey- burg. " Night or Blucher !" said the Duke on the memorable field at "Waterloo ; but there was the blessing of an alternative in to case. Mine had none. It was Morris or nothing with me. And now I began axkathematising to myself those crusty, secret, cautious natures, that are always satisfied when they cry " Stopj" with- out taking the trouble to say " Wherefore !" What may be a preci- pice to one man, thought I, is only a step to another \ How does Tie know that Ids notions of roguery Would tally with mine. There's many a thing they call a cheat in England, we might think a practical joke in Ireland. The national prejudices are constantly in opposi- tion — ^look, for instance, at the opposite view they take of the " In- come-tax !" Morris, besides, is a strait-laced fdlow, that would be shocked at a trifle. Maybe it's some tomfoolery about his ancestors some flaw in the 'scutcheon of Conrad, or Leopold, that lived in the year nine. Egad ! I wonder what the Dodds were doing in that century ? Or perhaps it is his Politics he's hinting at, for I believe 364 THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAD. the. Baron is a bit of a Eadical ! Por that matter so am I — at least, occasionally, and when the "Whigs are in power ; for, as I observed to you once, Tom, " Always be a shade more liberal than the Grovem- ment." It was years and years before I came to see the good policy of that simple rule, but, believie me, it's well worth remembering. Be a Whig to the Tories ; be a Eadical to the Whigs ; and when Cobden and that batch come iu, as they are sure to do sooner or later, there will be yet some lower depth to descend to and cry " Tate me out!" I was remarking that Morris is quite capable of being shocked at the Baron's politics, and fancying that I am giving my daughter to one of those Organisation of Labour and Eights of Man humbugs, that are always getting up rows and running away from them. Now, TorQ, I hold these fellows mighty cheap. A Pateiot without pluck is like a steam-engine wanting a boiler. Why, it's the very essence and vitality of the whole ; but still I am not sure that, as the world goes, I'd be right in refusing him my daughter because he put his faith in Kossuth, and thought the Austrian Empire an imelean thing ! I tell you all these ruminations and. reasonings of mine, that you may perceive, how I turned the matter over with myself in a candid spirit, and was led away neither by prejudice nor passion. Prom ten o'clock tin eleven — from eleven to midnight — I walked the terrace up and down, like the QTiost in " Hamlet " — I hope I'm right in my quotation — but neither sight nor sound indicated Morris's arrival! " What, if he should not come !" thought I. " How can I frame a pretext for putting off the wedding ?" There was no opening for delay that I could think off. I had signed no end of deeds and parchments — I had written my name to "^acts" of every possible shape and description. The solemnity of the Chxirch and my pater- nal blessing were alone wanting to complete the fifth act of the Drama. I racked my brain to invent a plausible, or even an intel- ligible, cause for postponement. Had I been a condemned felon, I could not have tortured my imagination more intensely to find a pre- text for a reprieve. But one issue of escape presented itself. I could be dangerously iU. — a sudden attack — at my age a man can always have gout in the stomach ! My daughter, of course, could not be married if I was at Death's door ; and as, happily, there was no. Doctor in the neighbourhood, the feint attack ran no risk of being converted into a serious action ! Since the memorable experiment of my mock illness at Ems, I own I had no fancy for the perform- ance, nor could I divest my mind of the belief that all these things are, in a measure, a tempting of Providence. But what else could I do ? There was not, so far as I could see, another road open to me. . THE DODD FAMIIT ABEOAB. 365 I was just, therefore, turning back into the house, to take to my bed in a dangerons condition, when I heard the clattering of whips, in that crack-crack fashion yoxu* German Postilion always announces an arrival. I at once hastened down to the door, and' arrived at the same moment that four posters, hot and smoking, drew up a travel- ling barouche to the spot. Morris sprung out at once, and seizing my hand, with what, for him, expressed great warmth, said : " Not too late, I hope and trust ?" " No," said I ; "thanks to your note, I was fuUy warned." By this time a stranger had also descended from the carriage, and stood beside us. " Krst of all, let me introduce my friend. Count Adelberg, who, I rejoice to say, speaks English as well as ourselves." "We bowed, and shook hands. " By the greatest good luck in. the world," continued Morris, " the Count happened to be with me when your letter arrived, and, seeing the post-mark, observed, ' I see you have got a correspondent in my part of the world — ^who can he be ?' Anxious to obtain information from him, I immediately mentioned the circumstance to which your note referred, when he stopped me suddenly, exclaiming, ' Is this possible ! — can you jeaUy assure me that this is so ?' " But, my dear PurceU, I cannot go over a scene which nearly over- came me at the time, and now, in recollection, is scarcely endurable. The torture and humiliation of that moment I hope never to go through agaia. In three words, let me tell my tale. Count Adel- berg was the owner and Lord of "Wolfsberg, the Wolfenshafers being his stewards. This pretended Baron was a yoimg swindling rascal, who had gone to Bonn less for education than to seek his fortune. The popular notion in Germany, that every English girl is an heiress of immense wealth, had suggested to him the idea of passing himself off for a noble of ancient family and possessions, and thixs securing the hand of some rich girl ambitious of a foreign rank and title. He had considerable difficulties to encounter in the prosecution of- his scheme, but he surmounted or evaded them all. He absented him- self from Baden, for instance, where recognition would have been in- evitable, under the pretext of his political opinions ; and he, with equal tact, avoided the exposure of his Father's vulgarity, by keeping the worthy individual confined to bed. Of the servants and retainers of the Castle, the shrewd ones were his accomplices, the less intelli- gent his dupes. In a word, Tom, an artful plot was well laid and carried out, to impose upon people whose own shortsightedness and vulgar pretensions made them ready victims for even a less ingenious, artifice. S66 THE SODS BAUIXX ABBOiJ). I was Terj nigH crazy as I heard tliis explanation. They had to hold me twice or thrice by main, force to prevent my rushing into the house, and wreaking a personal vengeance on the scoundrel. Morris reasoned and argued with me for above an hour. The Count, too, showed that our whole aim should be to prevent the affair getting rumoured abroad, and to suppress all notoriety of the transaction. He alluded with consummate delicacy to our want of knowledge of Germany and its people as an explamtion of our blunder, and con- doled with me on the outrage to our feelings with all the tact of a well-bred gentleman. Any slight pricks of conscience I had felt be- fore, from our own share in the deception, were totally merged in my sense of insulted honour, and I ntteriy forgot everytiiing about the imaginary townlands and villages I had so geaerously laid apart for Mary Anne's dowry. The next'question was, what to do ? The Count, with great polite- ness and hospitality, entreated that we should remain, at least for some days, at the Caatle. He insisted that no other course could so effectually suppress any gossip the affair might give rise to. He sup- ported this view, besides, by many arguments, equally ingenious as polite. But Morris agreed perfectly vrith me, that the best thing was to get away at once ; that, in &ct, it would be utterly impossible for us to pass another day under that roof. The next step was to break the matter to ISlis. D. I suppose, Tom, that, even to as old a friend as yourself, I ought not to make the confession ; but I can't help it— if; will out, in spite of me ; and I frankly admit it would have amply oompeusated to me for all the insult, outrage, and humiliation I expmenced, if I were permitted just to lay a plain statement of the case before Mrs. D., aad compli- ment her upon the talents she exercises for the advancement of her children, and the proud successes they have achieved. In my heart and soul I believe that, in the disposition I then felt myself, and with as good a cause to handle, I could very nearly have driven her stark mad with rage, shame, and disappointment. Morris, however, de- clared positively against this. He took upon himself the whole duty of the explanation, and even made me give a solemn pledge not in any way to interfere in the matter. He went further, and compelled me to forego my plans of vengeance against the young rascal who had so grossly outraged us. I have not patience to repeat the arguments he employed. They, however, just came to this : that the paramount question was, to hush up the whole affair, and escape at once from the scene in which it occurred. I don't think I'U ever forgive myself for my compliance on this head ! I have an accommodating conscience with respect to THE DODD FAMHiT A3E0AJ). 36t many debts; but to know and feel that I owe a fellow a horse- whipping, and to experience ia my heart the conviction that I don't intend to pay it, lowers me in my own esteem to a degree I have no power to express. I explained this to Morris. I showed him that in yielding to his views I was storing up a secret soiirce of misery for many a solitary reflection. I even proposed to be satisfied with ten minutes' thrashing of him in secret ; none to be the wiser but our two selves ! He would not hear of it. And now, Tom, I own to you that if the story gets abroad in the world, this is the part of it that will most acutely afflict me. I really can't tel you why I permitted him to over-persuade me, and make me do an act at once contrary to my country, my nature, and my instincts. The only explanation I can give is this : it is the air of the Continent. Bring an English bull- dog abroad, feed him with raw beef as you would at home, treat him exactly the same — ^but he loses his courage, and wouldn't face a terrier. I'm convinced it's the same with a man ; and you'll see fel- lows put up with slights and offences here that in their own land they'd travel a hundred miles to resent. One comfort I have, however, and it is this — I have never been well since I yielded this point. My appetite is gone ; I can't sleep without starting up, and I have a flut- tering about my heart that distresses me greatly ; and although these are all more or less disagreeable, they show me that, under fair cir- cumstances, K. I. could be himself again ; and that though the Con- tinent has breached, it has not utterly destroyed his naturally good constitution. To be brief, our plan of procedure was this : I was to remain with the Count in his apartment, while Morris went on his mission to Mrs. D. The explanation being made, we were to take the Count's carriage to Constance, where we could remain for a week or so, until we had decided which way to turn our steps ; and gave also time to Caroline, who was still with Morris's mother, to join us. I told M. that I didn't like to go far, that my remittances might possibly miss me, and so on ; and the poor fellow at once said, that if a couple of hundred pounds could be of the slightest convenience to me, they were heaxtUy at my service. Of course, Tom, I said no, that I was not in the least in want of money. It was the first time in my life I refiised a loan ; but I couldn't take it. I could have found it easier to rob a Church at that moment! He flushed deeply when I declined the ofier, and stammered out something about hi deep regret if he could have offended me ; and, indeed, I had some trouble to prove that I wasn't a bit annoyed or provoked. Although all the conversation I have tdluded to took place outside the Castle, we were not well inside the door when we perceiveii that 368 THE BODD FAMILY ABEOAB. Count Adelberg's arrival had already been made known to the house- hold. Troops of servants hastened to receive him, amongst whom, however, neither the Steward nor his son were to be found. " Send "Wolfenschafer to the Library," said he to a footman, as we went along, and then conducted me to a small and favourite chamber of which he always kept the key himself. He made me promise not to quit this tiU he returned, and then left me to my ovm, not over- gratifying, reflections iu perfect solitude as they were ; Morris having departed on his embassy. I was speculating on the various emotions each of us was likely to experience at the discovery of this catastrophe, when Morris entered the room, with an amount of agitation in his maimer I had never witnessed before. " "Well," said I, "you've told her — ^how does she bear itp" " I confess," said he, stammeringly, "Mrs. Dodd does not appear to place too much reliance upon my mere word-^I mean, not that kind of confidence which could be called implicit." " Why, you showed her that we have been infamously deceived, grossly insulted?" " I endeavoured to do so," said he, still hesitating. " I tried in the most delicate manner to explain by what vUe artifices you had been tricked ; and that, on my detection of the scheme, I had hastened over from Baden, fortunately in sufficient time to prevent the accom- plishment of this nefarious plot. She scarcely would hear me out, however ; for, vsdthout paying any regard to the proofs I was giving of my statement, she flew into a passion about my habit of ob- truding myself into family afiairs, and the impertinent interference which I had practised more than once in matters which did not con- cern me. In a word, she utterly disbelieved every word I said, attributed my interested feelings to very unworthy motives, and made a few personal remarks of a nature the reverse of compli- mentary." " "Was my daughter present ?" asked I. " Miss Dodd had gone to her room- a short time previously, but Mrs. Dodd sent for her as I was leaving the chamber." I could not any longer master my impatience, but, without -waiting for more, rushed up-stairs and into my vrife's room. A glance assured me that the work of persuasion was already accom- plished ; for she was lying half fainting in a large chair, while Mary Anne and Betty were bathing her temples and using the usual re- storatives for suspended animation. I had abundant time to observe Mary Anne during these proceed- ings, and, to my excessive wonderment do I ovm it, the girl was as THE DODD FAMILY ABBOAD, 369 calm, as self-possessed, and as collected as ever I saw her. I defy the very shrewdest to say that they could detect one trait of anxiety or discomposure about her ; so that, though I saw Mrs. D. had yielded to the convictions of tmth, I really could not say whether or not Mary Anne had yet heard of the story. I thought, however, I'd explore the way by an artificial path, and said : " If she's weU enough to be carried down stairs, Mary Anne, we ought to do it. The great matter is to quit this place at once." " Of course. Papa," said she, without the slightest touch of emotion. " After what has occurred," said I, " every moment I remain is a fresh insult." " Quite so," said she, composedly. Ah, Tom, these women are out and out beyond us ! Neither Phy- siologists nor Novel-writers know a bit about them. The stock themes with these feUows are their tender susceptibility, gentleness, and so forth. Take my word for it, it is in strength of character, in down- right power of endurance, that they excel us. They possess a quality of submission that rises to actual heroism, and they can summon an amount of energy to resist an iasult to their pride, of which we men have no conception whatever. Instead of any attempt to condole with Mary Anne, or to comfort her, the best I could do was, to try to imitate the dignified calm of her composure. " Don't you think," said I to her, " that we could be off by day- break." " Easily," said she. " Augustine is packing up, and when Mamma is a little better I'U assist her." " She knows it all ?" said I, with a gesture towards my wife. "Everything!" " And believes it at last ?" A nod was the reply. Egad, Tom, this coolness completely took me aback. I could do nothing but stare at the girl with amazement, and ask myself, " Does she really know what has happened ?" In utter indifierence to my scrutiny, she continued her attentions to her mother, whispering orders from time to time to Betty Cobb. "Hadn't you better give some directions about your trunks. Papa ?" said she to me. And thus recalled to myself, I hastened to foUow the advice. Paddy, as is customary with him at any great emergency, was drunk, and, with the usual consequence, engaged m active conflict with the rest of the servants' hall. As for James, I sought for him every- where in vain, but at last learned that he was seen to saddle and 2b 870 THE BODD FAMILT ABEOAD. bridle a horse for Mmself about half an hour before ; which done, he mounted and rode off at speed towards the forest, which direction, it appeared, the young Baron ! had iaken some time before. I should have felt uncommonly uneasy for the result had they not assured me that there was not the very slightest chance of his overtaMng the fugitive. Morris told me, too, that the old Steward had been turned out of doors already, so that we had at least the satisfaction of a very heavy vengeance. The Count never ceased to show us every attention in his power ; and, so far as politeness and good manners coidd atone to us, everything was done that could be imagined. "With Morris's add I got my things together, and before daybreaJi the carriage stood fully loaded at the door. There was, it is true, " an awful sacrifice'' ■exacted by this hurried packing ; and the frail finery of the trousseau found but scanty tenderness, as it was bundled up iato valises and even carpet-bags ! However, I was determined to march, even at the loss of all my baggage if necessary ! "While these active operations went forward, Mrs. D. '" improved the occasion" by some sharp attacks of hysterics, which providentially ended in a loss of voice at last ; and thus a happy oahn was per- mitted us, ia which to take a slight breakfast before starting. If I call it slight, Tom, it is not with reference to the preparations, which were reaUy on the most sumptuous scale, and all laid out in the large dinner-room with great taste. The Count had told Morris that if his presence might not be thought intrusive, he would feel it a great honour to be permitted to pay his respects to the ladies ; smd when I mentioned this to Mary Anne, to my no small astonishment she replied, " Oh, with pleasure. I really think we owe it to him for all his attentions." Ay! Tom, and what is more, down came my wife, who had passed the night in screaming and sobbing, looking all smiles and blandnesses, leaning on Mary Anne, who, by the way,liad dressed herself ia the most becoming fashion, and seemed quite bent on a conquest. Oh, these women, these women ! — ^read them if you can, Tom Purcell ! for, upon my conscience, they are fer above the humble intelligence of your friend K. I. I don't think you'd believe me if I was to give you- an account of that same breakfast. If ever there was an incident calculated to overwhelm with shame and confusion, it was precisely that which had just occurred to us. It was not possible to conceive a situation more painful than we were placed in; and with all that, I vow and declare that, except Morris and myself, none seemed to feel it. Mrs. D. eat and drank, and bowed, and smiled, and gesticulated, and ogled the Count to her heart's content ; and Mary Anne chatted THE BODD FAMIIiT ABBOADi 371 and laughed with him in aJl the ease of intimate acquaintanxjeBhip ; and as he evidently was struck by her beauty, she appeared to accept the homage of his admiration as a very satisfactory compUment. As for me, I tried to behave with the same good breeding as the others, but it was no use ! — every mouthful I eat almost choked me ; every time I attempted to be jocose, I broke down, with a lamentable failure. Eage, shame, and indignation, were all at work vrithia me ; and even the ease and indifference displayed by the womankind, in- creased my sense of humiliation. It might very probably have been far less weU-mannered and genteel'; but I tell you frankly, I'd have been better pleased with them both, if they had cried heartily, and made no secret of their suffering. I half suspect Morris was of the same mind, too ; for he could not keep his eyes off them, and evi- dently in profound astonishment. But for him, indeed, I don't know how I should have got through that morning, for Mrs. D. and her daughter were far too intent upon fresh conquests to waste a thought on recent defeats, and it was evident that Count Adelberg was re- ceived by them both with all the credit due to the " real article." This threw me completely on Morris for all counsel and guidance ; and I must say, he behaved admirably, making all the arrangements for our departure with a ready promptitude that showed old habits of discipline. In the Count's ealeche there was no room for servants ; but our own was to follow with them and the baggage, and also bring up James. AU of which details M. was to look after, as well as the care of forwarding to me any letters that might arrive after I was gone. It was nigh eight o'clock before we started, though breakfast was over a little after six ; and, indeed, when aU was ready, horses har- nessed and postilions in the saddle, the Coimt insisted on the " ladies" ascending the great watch-tower of the Castle to see the sun rise. He assured them people came from all parts of the world for that view, which was considered one of the finest in Europe ; and in proof of his assertion pointed to a long string of inscriptions on marble tablets in the wall. Here, it was the Kur Furst of this ; and there, the Langravine of that. Dukes, Archdukes, and Keld-Marshals figured in the cata- logue, and amidst the illustrious of foreign lands a distinguished place was occupied by Mi Lor' Stubbs, who made the ascent on a day in a year recorded. That Mrs. Dodd and Mary Anne are destined to a like immortality I have no doubt whatever ! At last we got into the carriage, but not until the Count had saluted me on both cheeks, and embraced me tenderly in stage fashion ; he kissed Mrs. D.'s hand, and Mary Anne's also, with such a touch- 2b2 372 THE DODD TAMILT ABEOAB. ing devotion, that, for the first time during that memorable morning, they both wiped their eyes. The sight of Morris, however, seemed to recal them to the Sober realities of life ; they shook hands with him, and away we went at that tearing gallop, which, though very little more than six miles an hour, has all the apparent speed and the real peril of a special train. " Where's my fur cloak ? Is my muff put in ? I don't see the grey shawl. Mary Anne, what has become of the rug ? I'm certain hallf our things are left behind. How could it be otherwise, seeing the absurd haste in which we came away !" These are a few specimens of Mrs. D.'s lucubrations, given " per saltim" as we bumped through the deep ruts of the road, and will explain, as well as a chapter on the subject, the train in which her thoughts were proceeding. Ay, Tom! for all the disgrace and ignominy of that miserable night and morning, she had no other sentiment of sorrow than for the absurd haste in which we came away ! I had firmly determined not to recur to this unpleasant afiair, and to let it sleep amongst the archives of similar disagreeable reminiscences, but this provocation was really too strong for me ! "Were they women ? — were they human beings, and could reason this way ? — ^were the questions that struggled for an answer within me ! I tried to repress the temptation, but I could not, and so I resolved, if I could do no more, at least to discipline my emotions, and hold them within certain limits. I waited till we were out of the grounds — I delayed tiU we were some miles on the high road — and then, with a voice subdued to a mere whisper, and in a manner that vouched for the most complete subjection, said : " Mrs. Dodd, may;I be permitted to inquire — and I premise thatthe object of my question is neither any personal nor a mere vulgar curio- sity, but simply to investigate what might be termed a physiological fact, namely, whether females reaUy feel less than the males of the human speties?" My dear Tom, the calm tone of my exordium availed me nothing ! To no end was it that I propounded the purely scientific basis of my investigation. She flew at me, at once, like a tigress. The abstract question that I had submitted for discussion she flung indignantly to the winds, and boldly asked me if I thought "to escape that way." "Es- cape" — that way ! I was thunderstruck, stupified, dumb-foundered! Did the woman want to infer — could she by any diabolical ingenuity or perverseness imply that I was possibly to blame for our late calar mity ? You'll not credit it ; nobody could, but it is the truth, not- withstanding. That was exactly the charge she now preferred against me ! If J had taken proper steps to investigate the " Baron's' ' real pre- tensions — if J had made due and fitting inquiries about him — ^if Jhad THE DODD EAMIIT ABKOAD. 373 been commonly intelligent, and displayed the most ordinary knowledge of the world — in fact, if, instead of being a bull-headed, blundering old, Irish Country Gentleman, I had been a cross between a Foreign Prefect and a London Detective, the chances were that we had been spared the mortification of exhibiting ourselves as endeavouriag to dupe people who were already successfully engaged in duping us ! This wasn't aU, Tom, but she boldly propounded the startling declaration, that she and Mary Anne both had suspected the Baron to be an im- position and a cheat ! and although his low manners and vulgar tone imposed upon me, they had always regarded him as shockingly under- bred ! It was I, however, who had rushed into the whole misadventure — it was J concocted the entire scheme — Jplanned the visit — J made up the match. My stupid cupidity, my blundering anxiety for a grand alliance, were the causes of all the evil ! The mock munificence of my settlements was hurled at me as proof positive of the eagerness of my duplicity, and I was overwhelmed with a mass of accusations which I verily believe would have obtained a verdict against me at the hands of any honest and impartial jury of my countrymen. I have more than once had to acknowledge, that when perfectly assured in my own conscience of my innocence, Mrs. D. has contrived to shake my doubts about myself, and at last succeeded in making me believe that I might have been culpable without knowing it. I sup- pose in these cases I may have been morally innocent and legally guilty, but I'll not puzzle my head by any subtlety, of explanation ; enough if I own that a less enviable predicament no man need covet ! I sat under this new allegation sad, silent, and abashed; and although Mary Anne said but little, yet her occasional " Ton must admit, Papa," " Tou wiU surely acknowledge," or " Ton cannot pos- sibly forget," chimed in, and swelled the full chorus of accusation against me. If I said nothing, I thought the more. My reflections took this shape : Here is another blessed fiMiit of our coming abroad. Such an incident never could have befaUen us at home. Why then should we continue to live on exposed to similar casualties ? why re- side in a land where we cannot distinguish the man of rank from his scullion, and where all the forms that constitute good breeding, and maybe, good grammar, are quite beyond our appreciation ? Every dilettante scribbler for the magazines who sketches his rambles in Spain or Switzerland, grows jocose over some eccentricity or absur- dity of his countrymen. Their blunders in language, dress, or de- meanour are duly chronicled and relied upon as subjects for a droll chapter ; but let me tell you, Tom, that the difficulties of foreign re- sidence are very considerable indeed, and, except to the man who 374 THE DODD FAMILY ABBOAB. issues from England with, a certain well proved and admitted station, social or political, the society into which he may be thrown is a down- right lottery. The first error he commits, and it is almost inevitable, is to mistake the common forms of hat-lifting and bowing for acquaint- anceship. "Bull" thinks that the gentleman desires to know him, and obligingly condescends to accept his overtures. The foreigner, somewhat amused to see the veriest commonplaiee of politeness re- ceived as evidence of acquaintance, profits by the admission, chats, and comes to tea. Now, Tom, whether it be cheap soup, cheap cloth- ingj cheap traveUing, or cheap friendship, I have a strong prejudice against them all. My notion is, that the real article is not to be had without some cost and trouble. These were some of my ruminations as we rattled along; and although the road was interesting, and the day a fine bracing autumnal one, my mind was not attuned to pleasure or eigoymaat^ "We stopped to bait at Donaueschingen, for we were obliged, by some accident or other, to take the same horses on, and found a most com- fortable little Innat the sign of the " Sharpshooter." After dinner we took a stroll in the garden of the Palace of the Mediatised Prince of Fiirstenberg, for of course there is a Palace and a Mediatised Prince wherever there is a town of three thousand inhabitants throughout Germany. By the way. Napoleon treated these people pretty much like our own Encumbered Estates Court at home. He sold them out without any ceremony, and got rid of the feudal privileges and the seignorial rights with a bang of the Auctioneer's hammer. Of course, as with us, there was often a great deal of indi- vidual hardship, but these little Principalities were large evils, and half the disturbances of Europe grew out of their corrupt admiaik-- tration. There is, I often fancy, a natural instinctive kind of corruptian incidental to the dominion of a small State. They are too small and too insignificant to attract any attention from the world without, and within their own narrow limits there is no such thing as a public opinion. The ruler, consequently, is free to foUow the caprices of his foUy, his cruelty, or his wastefulness. He has neither to dread a Parliament nor a newspaper. If he send his small contingemt — a " Commander-in-Chief and a Drummer of great experience" — to the great army of the Confederation he belongs to, he may tax his sub- jectsi or hang them, to his heart's content ! Now, I cannot imagine a worse state of things than this, nor any more likely to foster that spirit of discontent which every hour is adding to the feeling of the Continent. "While I am following this theme, lam forgetting what was upper- THE BODD PAMIIT ABEOAD. 375 most a few mimitea back in mj mind. In the garden of the same Palace, which belong3 to a certain Count IHiratenber^i there is a singularly beautiM little spring j it bubbles up amidst flowers and grass, and overruna the green sward in many a limpid streamlet. There is something in the unadorned simplicity of this tiny well, rippling through the yellow daffodils and " starry river buds," wonder- fiiUy pleasing ; but what an interest fills the mfnd as we hear- that thia is the source of the Danube ! " The mighty river that sweeps along through the rocky gorges of Upper Austriaj. washes the founda- tiona of the Imperial Vienna, and flows on, ever sweUing, and widen- ing, and deepening, to the Black Sea — ^that giant stream, so romantic in its associations with the touching tale of our own Eichard — so picturesque in its windings, so teeming with interest to the Poet, the Painter, the Merchant, and the PoHtician ; there it ia, a little crystal rivulet, whoae destiny might weU seem limited to the flowery borders and blossoming beds around it." This isn't mine, Tom, though it's exactly what I would have said if the words occurred to me, but I copy it out of the Visitors' Book, where strangers vmte their names, and, 80 to aay, leave their cards upon the infant Danube. Truisms are only tiresome to the hearer; they are a deEghtfuI recreation to the man that tells them, so that I am sorely tempted to mention some of those that suggested themselves to my mind as I stood beside that little spring — all the analogies that at once arose to my feney, between human life and the course of a mighty river, between the turnings, and twinings, and aberrations of eHldhood, the headlong current of youth, the mature force of manhood, and the track- less issue, at last, into the great ocean of eternity ! One lesson we may assuredly gather from the contemplation r not to predicate from small beginnings against the likelihood of a glorious, future ! I left the place regretfiiUy ; the tranquil quietude of my two hours' ramble through the gaarden restored me to a serene and peaceful frame of mind. The little viUage itself, the tidy, impretending Inn,, clean, comfbrtable, and a model of cheapness, were all to my fancy, and I could very weU. have liked to linger on, there^. for a week or so. After aU,. what a commentary ia it upon all pursuits of pleasure and amuse- menb, to think that we really find our greatest happiness in those little, out-of-the-way, isolated spots, remote from all the attractions and blandishments of the gay world ! I don't mean to aay that Mrs. D. quite concurred with me, for she grew very impatient at my delay and wondered excessively " what peculiar attraction the garden of the Palace might ha.ve possessed, to make me forget myself." But it's not so easy a thing to do as she thinks ! Forgetting oneself, Tom implies so many other oblivions. It means forgetting one's tenants 376 THE DODD PAMILT ABEOAD. that they have over-rented — one's banker over-drawn — one's horses over-worked — one's house out of repair — one's estate out at elbows — forgetting the duns that torment, the creditors that torture you — ^the latitats, the writs, the mortgages, the bonds — all the inflictions, in fact, consequent to parchment, signed, sealed, and delivered over to your persecuting angel! Oh dear, oh dear ! what a thirsty swigw'ould I take of Lethe if I could ! and how happy would I be to start fresh in life without any one of the " liabilities," as they call them, that at- tach to Kenny Dodd ! I remember, when I was a schoolboy, no day of the week had such terrors for me as Saturday, because we were obliged to answer a re- petition of the whole week's work. That carrying up of the past was a load that always destroyed me ! My notion was to let bygones be bygones, and it was downright cruelty to take me over the old ground of my former calamities. The same prejudice has tracked me through life. I can face a new misfortune as well as my neighbours ; what kiUs me is going back over the old ones. Let me tell you, too, that there is a great deal of balderdash talked in the world about Expe- rience ! That with expefieiice you'U do this, that, and t'other, better. Don't believe a word of it. Tou might as well teU me that having the typhus vriU teach a man patience the next time he catches a fever! Take my word for it, be as fresh as you can against the ills of life — know as little of them as you can — think as little of them ! Keep your constitution — whether it be moral or physical — as intact as you are able, and rely on it you'U not fare the worse when it comes to the trial! It was a fine evening, with a thin rim of a new moon in the'sky, when we got ready to leave Donaueschingen. The bill for dinner came to about five shiUings for three of us, wine included, and no charge for rooms, so that when I gave as much more to the servants, the enthusiasm of the household knew no bounds. The housemaid, indeed, in an , access of enthusiasm, would kiss my hand, and got rebuked by my wife as a " forward hussy, that ought] to be well looked after." Prom this incident, however, our attention was soon diverted by the arrival of our second carriage, but without James ! A note from Morris explained that he did not like to detain the ' servants, lest it should prove inconvenient to us, and that he would take care James should join us at Constance — ^probably early on the next day. This note was handed to me by the postboy, a circum- stance speedily accounted for, as I got out and saw that the whole company, consisting of Betty, Augustine, the Courier, Paddy Byrne, and a fifth, unlmown, were aU very drunk and unable to speak, closely wedged in the britschka ! Of course it was no time to ask THE DOBD TAMILT ABEOAD. 377 for any explanations, and we came on to this place, whicli we reached by midnight. As I have given you a somewhat full narrative of what befel us, I may as well, ere I conclude, add some words of explanation of the state of our amiable followers. Betty Cobb, it appears, was seized with connubial symptoms while we were at the Castle, and yielding to the soft impeachment, and not being deterred by any discovery of false rank or pretensions, actually bestowed her hand on a distinguished Swineherd that pertained to the place. The wedding took place after we left, the convivial festivities being continued all along ;the road tiU they overtook us. Had the unlucky girl married a New Zealand chief, or a Kaffir, her choice could not have fallen upon a more thoroughly savage specimen of the human race. The fellow is a Black Forest Caliban of the worst description. The question is now to know what to do with him, for Mrs. D. wiU not consent to part with Betty, nor will Betty separate from her'Hege lord; so that amongst my other blessings I may number that of carrying about the world a scoundrel that would disgrace a string of galley-sjaves ! Just imagine, Tom, in the rumble of a trayelling carriage a. fellow sis foot and a half high, dressed in a cow-hide, with an ox-goad in his hand, and a long naked knife in his girdle, speaking no intelligible tongue, nor capableof any function save the herding of wild animals. The most uncultivated specimen of brute nature I ever heard, saw, or even read of!, Taney, I say, the pleasure of "lugging" this creature over the Continent of Europe, feeding, housing, and clothing him, his sole claim being that he is the husband of that precious bargain, Betty Cobb! "Why, he'd bring shame on a Beast Caravan! The best of it is, too, he holds to his " caste " like a Hindoo, and refuses aU other oc- cupation save the charge of swine. He would not aid to unload the carriage-^^would not lift a trunk, nor carry a carpet-bag; and wlien admonished by Paddy for his laziness, showed two inches of a broad knife up his sleeve with a grin meant to imply that he knew how to resist any assault on his dignity ! That the scoimdrel has no respect for law is clear enough ; so that my hope is, he vrill commit some terrible infraction, and that we may be able to send him to the galleys for the rest of his days. How I'm to keep him and Paddy apart is more than yet appears to me. I suppose, in the end, one of them will kiU the other. Prom what I see here, the expense of keeping this beast — at a Hotel at least — will be equal to the cost of three ordinary servants ; for he has no regular meal times, but has food cooked for him " promiscuously," and eats — ^if I'm to credit the land- lord — either a kid or a lamb per diem. A bear wouldn't be half the 378 THE BODD TAMILT ABEOAB. expense, and a far more' companionaMe feeast besides. It is but Mr to say that Betty seems to adore bim ; sbe crams tbe monster all day witii stolen -victuals, and appears to have no other care in life than in watching after him. "What induces Mrs. D. to feel this sudden attachment ta Betty her- self I can't imagine. Tip to this she railed at her unceasingly, and deplored the day and the hour she took her from home.. But now, when this', alliance really makes her insupportable, she won't hear of parting with her, and submits to a degree of tyraimy from, this woman that is utterly inexplieable. It's another of those feminine anomalies, Tom, that neither you nor I, nor, maybe,, anybody else, will ever be able to reconcile. Tou win probably wonder how, at a moment like this, smartingj as I am, under the combined effects of insult and disappointment, I can turn my attention to a matter of this trifling nature ; but I confess to you. that the admission of this uncivilised element into the drcle of my family inspires me with feeKngs of disgust, not unmixed with terror ; for what he may do in any access of fmy the Infernal Grods alone can say. So long as we are here, in this remote and little- visited town, the notice he attracts is confined to the troop of street loungers who foUowbim ; but I have yet to learn how we are ever to make our appearance in a regular- city in his company. 'Now to another matter, Tom, and the most essential of alL "What are we to do for money ? for, whether we go on or go back, we must have it. I haven't the heart to go over the aecounts ; nor would it put sixpence more in my pockets if I was like Babbage's calculatiDg machine ! Screw up the tenants, and make them pay the arrears. Healey owes us at least two hundred pounds. Try if he can't pay haK See, besides, if you cannot find, a tenant for the place, even for a year. This Exhibition in DubHn -will fiU the country with strangers ; and a good, advertisement of Dodsborough, vrith an account of the " shooting and fishing, capital society, and two packs of hounds in the neighbourhood," might take the notiiee of some asiHiing Caekufiy, IVom what I see in the papers, Ireland is going to be the fashion this summer. I suppose that she is stairved down to the pitch to be " thin and genteel," and that's the reason of it. TeU me what you think of this great display of " Industrial pro- duets," as they call it. Are we as wonderful as the Irish papers say, or are we really as backward as the Times pronounces us B My o-vm notion is, that the whole thing proceeds on a misconception of the country and its capabilities. These Exhibitions are essentially de- pendent on manufacturing skill for their excellence. Now, we are not a manufacturing people. "We are agricultuxiatsj- and so THE DODD PAMllT ABEOAB. 379 are the Tankees; and, consequently, tlie utmost we can do is to show off the clever inTentions and cunning products of our neighbours. Writing, as I do, confidentially to yourself, I wiU own, too, that I am not one of those sanguiue admirers of these raree-shows, nor do I see iu them the seeds of all that progress that others prophesy. Looking at a wonderful mecha- nical invention vniR no more teach me to imitate it, than going to Batty's Circus wiU enable me to- jump through a hoop, or ride on my head I Amusement, pleasure, interest, there is in one as much as the other ; but as for any educational advantage, Tam-, I doa't believe in it. To the scientific man these things are all familiar — to the pea- sant they are all miraculous ; and though the Electric Telegraph, be really a wonderful thin^ after one sees the niiraclea of the Church it ceases to surprise you ! At all events, give me some account of the place and the people in your next, and write soon. I have kept this a day back, hoping to announce James's arrival here, but up to this iheie is no tidings of him. Tours, ever faithfully, Kehbt James Dobd. P.S. I find now that this town, is not in Switzerland,, but in Baden, for the PoUee have been here to know " who we are ?" and " why we have come ?" — two questions that would take longer to answer than they suspect. How absurd these little bits of national prejudice sound, when the symbol of nationality is only a blue post or a white one, and no geographical limit announces: a new country. DroU enough, too, they are most importunate in their inquiries after James ; as if the appearance of his name in the passport requires that he should be forthcoming when asked fi)P. Ah, Tom ! if the fellows that knocked old Europe about in '48 had resolutely set their faces against these stumbling-blocks to civilisation — Passports, Police spies, Town dues, and Gate imposts — they'd have won the sympattu.es of millions, who do not care a msh about TJniversal Sufiage and the Liberty of the Press^ — and, what is more, the eon- cessions could never have been revoked nor recalled I To myself, individually, the system presents few annoyances ; for I sit serene behind my ignorance of all Continfintal languages, and say to myself, " Touch me if you dare." Maybe they half suspect the substance of my meditations, for they show the greatest deference towards my condition of passive resistance, The Brigadier has just bowed himself out of the room, with what sounded like a hearty curse, but what Mary Anne assures me was a sincere protestation of his semtiment of " high consideration and esteem." Andnow to dinner. 380 THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAD. LETTEE XLI. MART ANNE DODD TO HISS DOOLAN, OF BALLTDOOLAN. Constance on the Lake. DeAEEST EllTTT, With what rapture do I once more throw myself into the arms of your affection! How devotedly do I seek the sanctuary of; my dearest Kitty's heart ! It is aU over, my sweet Mend, all over ! I see you start — your cheek is bloodless, and your lips tremble — ^but reassure yourself, Kitty, and hear me. If there be anything against which I am weak and powerless — ^if there be aught in life to oppose which I have neither strength or energy — ^it is the reproach of one I love ! Already do I stand accused before you, even now have you arraigned me, and my condemnation is trembling on your hps. Avow it — own it, dear girl. Tour heart, at least, has said the words of my sentence : " AH over ! so then Mary Anne has jilted bitn — changed her mind in the last hour — trifled with his affections, and made a sport of his feelings." Tes, such is the charge against me ; and, trembling as I stand before you, I syllable the word " Guilty." " Guilty, but with extenuating circumstances." Be calm then, be patient ; and, above aU, be merciful, while I plead before you. I deny nothing, I evade nothing. I cannot even pretend that my altered feelings originated in any long process of reason or reflection. I wUl not affect to say that I struggled against conflicting doubts, and only yielded when powerless to resist them. No, dearest, I am above every such shallow artifice ; and I own that it was on the very morning your letter arrived — at the moment when my hot tears were falling over the characters traced by your hand — as, enraptured, I kissed the lines that breathed your love — ^then there suddenly broke upon me a light illumining the dark horizon around me. Space be- came peopled with forms and images, voices and warnings floated around and above me, and- as I read your words — " If, then, your whole heart be his " — I trembled, Kitty, my eyes grew dim, my bosom heaved in agony, and, in my heart-wrung misery, I cried aloud, " Oh save me from this perfidy — save me from myself!" Save that the letter which my fingers grasped convulsively was the offspring of friendship and not of love betrayed, the scene was pre- cisely like that which closes the second act of the " Lucia di Lam- ^y/'iaA'f/.y ^^'K/ yye>i d> -J-'couz^t^ THE BODD FAMILY ABEOAD. , 381 mermoor." Mamma, the Baron, James, even to the Priest, all were there ; and, like Lucia, dressed in my bridal robe, the orange flowers in my hair, and such a love of a Brussels veil fastened mantiUa-wise to the back of the head. I stood pale, trembling, and conscience- stricken ! the awful words of your question ringing in my ears, like the voice of an angel come to call me to judgment. " ' If your whole heart be his!' But it is not," cried I, aloud. " It is not— it never can be!" I know not in what wild rhapsody my emotions found utterance. I have no memory of that gushing cataract in which overwrought feelings found their channel. I spoke in that rapt enthusiasm in which, as we are told, the ancient Priestesses de- livered their dream-revealings, for I, too, was as one inspired, as agony alone can inspire. Of myself I know nothing; but I have since heard that the scene was harrowing to a degree that no words can convey. The Baron, mounted on his fastest courser, fled into the woods ; James, spirited on by some imagined sense of injury, thirst- ing for a vengeance on he knew not what or whom, pursued him ; Mamma was seized with frantic sereamiag ; and even Papa himself, whose lethargic humour stands him like an armour of proof — even he swore and imprebated in a manner that called forth a most impres- sive rebuke from the Chaplain. The scene changes-^we are away ! The Castle and its deep woods grow dim behind us ; the wild: mountains of the Schwartz "Wald rise before and around us. The dark pkies wave their stately tops, the wood-pigeon cries his plaintive note ; rocky glen and rugged pre- cipice, foaming waterfalls and - wooded slopes pass swiftly by, and on we hasten — on and on ; but, with all our speed, dark, brood- ing care can stfll outstrip us, and sorrow follows faster than the wind. We airived at Constance by midnight, when I soon betook me to bed, and cried, myself to sleep. Sweet — sweet tears were they, flowing like the crystal drops from the margin of an over-charged fountain ; for such was the heart of your afflicted Mary Anne. It is not by any casuistry about the injustice I should have done, had I bestowed a moiety "where I had' promised a whole heart. It is not by any pretence that I felt this to be an imworthy- artifice, that I now appeal to your merciful consideration. It is simply as one suddenly awakened to the terrible conviction that she cannot be loved as she is capable of loving; or, in other words, that she despairs of even inspiring that passion which alone could requite .her for the agony of love. Oh, Kitty, it is an agony, and such a one as no torture of human vrickedness ever equalled. May you never feel it in that intensity of Buffering which is ahke its ecstasy and its woe 382 THE BOBD lAMIIiT ABEOABi Do not reproaeli , me, Kitty : my heart has already done so, bitterly — ^terribly ! Again and again have I asked myself, " Who, and what are you, that dares to reject rank, wealth, station, glorious lineage, and a noble name ? If these and the most devoted love can- not move you, what are the ambitions that rise before you ?" Over and over do I interrogate myself thus, and yet the only reply is, a heart-heaved sigh — the spirit- wrung voice of inward sufferaig ! Tou, dearest, who know your friend, will not accuse her of exaggerated or overwrought vanity. Uone so well as you, are aware that these are not my characteristic failings. An excess of humility may depreciate me, even to the lowliest con- dition of humble fortune ; and if happiness be but there, I will not deem the choice a mean one ! Tou will judge of the sincerity c£ my words, when I tell you that I have just been unpacking all my things^ and putting them away in drawers and wardrobes ; and oh, Eitiy, if you could but see them ! Papa was really splendid, and allowed me to order everything I could fancy. Of course his generosity fettered instead of stimulated my extravagance, so that I merely took the absolute necessaire.. Of these I may mention two cashmeres and three Brussels scarfs, one a perfect love ; twelve morning, eighteen evening dresses, of which one for the altar is covered with Yalen- ciennes, looped up vsdth pearls and brilliants ; the corsage ornamented down the front with a bouquet of the same stones, ajranged to repre- sent Kly of the valley, with dewdrops — a pretty device, and quite simple, to suit the occasion. The presentation robe is actually mag- nificent, and only needs a diamond parure to be queenly. How I dote, too, on these deax little bonnets. I never weary of trying them on : they sit so coquettishly on the back of the head, and make one look sly and modest, and gentle and saucy aU at once ! In this walk of art the French are incomparably above us. Dress with them ob- serves all the harmony of colour and the keeping of a great picture. No IQac bonnets and blue shawls — no scarlets and pinks alternately killing and marring each other — none of that false heraldry of costume by which your Englishwoman displays her vulgar wealth and ill-as- sorted finery. All is gracefiil, well toned, and harmonious. Tour mise is, so to say, the declaration of your sentiments just as the signal of a man-of-war proclaims her intention ; and how ingenious to think that your stately cashmere suggests homage, your ermined mantle, watchfid devotion, your muslin peignoir, coiifidence and inti- mate intercourse. Now, your "English" must looh all these to be intelligible, and constantly converts herself into a great staring, ogling, leering machine, very shocking to contemplate. THE B033D TAMILT ABHOAD. dVd I need scarcely remark to you, dearest, tliat tie step I hare just taken has made my position in tlie family like that of tlie young lady ■wbo refused Louis Napoleon before Europe. Our situations, if you come to consider them, are ■wonderfully aKke ; and there are extrar ordinary points of resemblance between the Gentlemen, to ■which I cannot at present more fuUy allude. The ungenerous obserrationa and slighting allusions to ■which I am exposed would actualiy ■wring your heart. Even James remarked that the ■whole aSaie reminded him of Joe Hudson, ■who, after accep"ting an Indian appointment, refused to sail ■when he had obtained the outfit. " Mary Anne only ■wanted the kit," ■was the ■ndgar impertinence by ■which he closed this piece of flattery ; and this ■was in allusion to the trousseau ! Men are so shallo^w, so meanly-minded, Kitty ; and, above all, so ungenerous in the measure of our motives. They really think that we value dress for itself, and not as a means to an end — that end being their o^wn subjection! Mamma, I must say, is truly kind; she regrets, naturally enough you ■will think, the loss of a great aUiance. She had pictured to herself the quartering of the M'Garthys with the house of W , and ranged in imagination over various remote, but ambitious, contingencies ; but, with true maternal affection, she has effaced all these memories from her heart, only to think of me and of my emotions. I have also been able to supply her with a consolation, no less great than unexpected, in this ■wise : Papa, from one cause or other, had been of late seriously meditating a return to Ireland ; I shame to say, Kitty, that he never valued, never under- stood the Continent ; its habits, its ways, and its ■wines, all disagreed ■with him ; financial reasons, too, infiuenced him ; for somehow, up to this, we have been forced to overlook the claims of economy, and only regard those which refer to the station we are to maintain in society. Now, from aU these causes, he had brought himself to think the only safety lay in a speedy retreat ! Mamma had ascer- tained this beyond a doubt by some passages in Mr. PurceU's letters to Papa ; how obtained I know not. From these she gathered that at any moment he was capable of abandoning the campaign, and embarking the whole army ! The misery such a course would entail upon us I have no need to enlarge upon ; nor could I, if I tried, find words to depict the condition of suffering that would be ours if again domesticated in that dreadful Island. Porgive me, dearest, iS. I wound one susceptibility of your tender heart — I would not ruffle even a rose-leaf of your gentle nature ; but I cannot refrain from saying that Ireland is very dreadful ! Philosophers affect to teU us, Kitty, that from the chemical properties of meteoric stones we can predicate thfe nature of the planets from which they have fallen; 384 THE DODD SAMIIiT ABEOAD. and the most ingenious theories as to the structure, size, and con- formation of their bodies, are built upon such slender materials. Now, would it be too wide a stretch of ingenuity to apply this theory to home affairs, and argue from the specimen one sees of the dear country, " What must be the land that has reared them ?" And, ob, Kitty, if so, what a sentence we should be condemned to pass ! But to the consolation of which I spoke, and which in this diver- sion I was nigh forgetting. Papa, as I mentioned, was bent on going home ; and now these costly preparations of wedding finery offer the means of opposing him, for of what use could they possibly be at Dodsborough, Kitty ? To what end that enormous outlay, if brought back to the regions of Bruff ? Here is an expensive armament — all the materiel of a campaign provided ; who would counsel the eonsign- iQg it to rust and decay ? who would advise giving over to moths what might be made the adornment of some brilliant capital? Whether we consider the question morally, financially, or strategically, we arrive at the same conclusion. Such a display as this, if exhibited at home, would revolutionise the whole neighbourhood, disgust them with home-grown gowns and bonnets, and lead to irrepressible extrava- gance, debt, and ruin. So far for moral considerations. Fiuancially, the cost is incurred, and it only remains to make the outlay profit- able ; this, it is needless to say, cannot be done at Dodsborough. And now for the strategy, the tactical part, Kitty. We all know, that whenever a marriage is broken off, Scandal seizes the occa- sion for any reports she likes to circulate, and the good-natured world always agrees in condemning " the Lady." If her character or conduct be unimpeachable, then they make searches as to her temper. She was a termagant, that ruled her whole family, scolded her sisters, bullied her brothers, and was the terror of every one. If this indict- ment cannot be sustained, they find a flaw in her fortune ; her twenty • thousand was "only ten;" ten, Irish currency; perhaps on an Irish mortgage of an Irish property, mayhap charged with Heaven knows what of annuities to Irish relations ! Now, Kitty, it is essen- tial to avoid every one of these evil imputations, and I have supplied Mamma with so good a brief in the cause, so carefully drawn up, and so well argued, that I don't think Papa wiU let the case go to a jury ; or, in other words, that he wiU give in his submission at once. I have much more to teU you, and wiU write again to-morrow. Ever yours in affection, Maet Anne Dodd. THE DODD TAMILT ABEOAD. 385 LETTEE XLII. MAXT AKNE SOSI) TO MISS DOOLAN, OF BALLTDOOLAN. Lake of Constance. Mt beaeest Kitty, Teub to my pledge, I sit down to continue the revelations, the first volume of which is already before you ; and, as I left off in a chapter of " desagreables," let me finish the theme ere I proceed to pleasanter paths and greener pastures. Betty Cobb has gone and taken to herself a husband ; and such a husband as reaUy I did not fancy could be found nearer us than the Waterkloof, if that be the correct spelling of the pleasant locality in K^ffirland, where some of, the something — Eifth, or Eighth- are always getting surprised and cut to pieces! The creature is a Swineherd — one of those dreadful semi-savages that Germany rears out of respect to its ancient traditions about Wood Demons and Kobolds. So terrific an object I never beheld, and his " get up," as James would call it, equals his natural advantages. Tou may remember the wretches who are thrusting the Page into the furnace, iu Eetsch's Illustrations of Schiller's Poem, " Der Gang auf den Eisenhammer " — one of these is a flattering likeness of him. Betty, however, whose taste ia manly beauty is not formed on the Antinois' model, believes him to be perfection. At all events, no promise of double wages, presents, or other seductions, could warp her allegiance from this seductive object ; and as Mamma suddenly discovered that she was quite indispensable to her, the con- sequence is, that we have to accept the company and companionship of the graceful " Taddy," who is now part of our Legation as a Swineherd unattached. Tou must know, Kitty, that these worthy people, who are brought up from infancy to regard pigs as the most important part of the creation, are impressed with a profound con- tempt for the human species — ^that aU their habits are imbued with swinish tastes, modes, and prejudices — that they love to live in woods, sleep on the ground, and grunt their sentiments, when they have any. Whether these be the characteristics of conjugalism, or the features which, as the book says, " Make Home happy," Time and Betty alone can teU. I must say that fear and disgust are, for the present, the impressions his appearance suggests to me, but Betty is clearly of a different mind. Meanwhile, as regards ourselves, he is really a most embarrassing 2c 386 THE BOM) EAMILI ABEOAD. element of the state. He is totally imacquainted witli aU laws, Divine and Human, and only sufficiently gifted with speech as to convey his commonest wishes ; and, from what I can learn, Gasper Hauser was a man o!f the world in comparison to him. Papa is, of course, frantic at the-^thoiight of his pertaining to ns — but wfeat is to be done? Betty has declared that she wiLL foUow him to Jericho ; by which she means, to some fabulous land of unreal geography ; and Mamma wDl not part with Betty. To-morrow, or next day, I expect to hear that Taddy protests he can't live without his, pigs, amd that a legion of swine become part of our travelling equipment. Abeady has his presence on our staff called for the attention of the authori- ties, who are, fevj naturally, curious to know what we mean by such a functionary. Papa, on Iris side, thinks it part of an Englishman's birthright to resist, oppose, and torment the Poliee; and, of course, will givei no information whatever as to why he is here, but avows his determiaation to retain Mm iin his service, just on that account. These eomplieatioiis— to give them a mild name — have so absorbed me, that I have forgotten to- tell yon about our present place of so- iourn. - The Lake 'x)f Gonstaiioe sounds pretfy, dearest. It seems to. address itself at once to our sense of the beautiful, and our moral attachment to the Urue ! As we approached it, I looked eagerly from the Carriage, at eaieh turning of the mountain road, for some glimpses of the seenery ; but' night fell suddenly, and closed aH in darkness. Early on the following momiHg I arose, and taking Augustine with my sketch-book, huaried! down to the bord^of the Lafcej for our most quaint and andraat " Sastelry " stands in the very CCTtre of the town, and fully fifteen miniites' walk from the water. We reached it suddenly, on turning the angle of a narrow lane, and came out upon a small stone pier projeetmg into the water, and this was the Lake — ^the Lake of Constance I Only think, Kitty, of a great wide expanse of bleak watM", with low shores ; • no gladesrs, no alps, no sublimity ! I could have, cried with disappointment. The Cus- tom-honse people — ^very nice-looking' men, with a becoming^uuSarm of green and gold — assured! me that at the upper eni of the Lake I should see the Mountains of the Yoms&erg, and also the range of the Swiss Alps, and have abundant material for my pencfl. Mean- while, they made an old boatman Sit while I sketched Mm ; he was mending his net, and with his long blue nightcap, and acarf of the same colour, his snow-white beaafd, and fine Eembrandt colour, he really made a ehaopmiug study. The chief officer of the Customs— a remarkably handsome man, with the very blackest moustaches — ^was in dioWHright enthusiasm at the success of my little sketch ; and V- '^ THE BOm) EAMILT ABROAD. 387 really, as it was tttterly valueless, I coijld not resist Augustine's entreaty to tear it out of my book and give it to him. Ton can't tMnk, Kitty, with what a grace&l mixture of gratitude and dignity he accepted my worthless present. He might, so fer as breediQg went, have been a Captain of Hussars. He accompanied us all the way back tO' the Hotel, having previously placed his boatt aind his boat's crew at my disposal during our stay here. Ah, Eitty, what a charm there is ia the amiable tone of foreigners! How striking the contrast between their cultivated politeness and the rude barbarism of our own people I Fsmcy for a moment what ia our home notion of a Custom-houae official ! — a shabby-genteel indi- vidual, with a week's beard and a bramdy-and-water eye, thast pokes into your trunk after iPreiich glores, and searches your brother's pocket for cheroots. Imagine him beside one of these magnificently- dressed and really splendid-looking men, with all the air of an Aide- de-Camp to the Queen ! How naturally are we led to estimate the style in which people Uve by the dress and appointment of their household ; and should we not pass a similar judgment on States, and argue, from the appropriate costume of the functionaries, to their ovm completeness and perfection of system ! I said nothing to Mamma of our newly-made acquaintance ; for as I entered the Inn I learned that James and another G-entleman had just arrived, but so tired and fatigued, that they both had given orders that they should not be disturbed on any account. ¥ou may be sure, Kitty, I was intensely curious to know who the sfa-anger was ; but aU my inquiries were only so many additional provocatives to my eagerness, without any satisfaction ! I learned, indeed, that he was young, handsome, tall, and spoke Erench and Grerman fluently ; so much so, indeed, that the "Waiter hesitated whether to eaU him Engli^ or not I James and his feUow-traveUer had arrived by the Diligence from Scbaffhausen, so that there was really nothing by which we could catch a/ due to has friend ; and I was left to my patience and my canjecfcures till breakfast time. I own to you, Kitty, the trial was too much for my nerves, over- strung as they have been by late events. I fancied a thousand thiogs'. I imagined incidents, events, caanalties, of which, even to you, dearest, I cannot give the interpretation. Unable^ at last, to resist the work- ing of a curiosity that hadi rfeea to a torture, I took the resolution to awake James, and ask " "Who was his friend ?" I traversed the cor- ridor with stealthy footsteps, and sought out the number of his room. It was 4a, the Waiter saii^ and the last on the gallery; amd so I found.it. I tuMied the handle noisetessiyr, and entered. The window- 2o2 388 THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAD. curtains were closely drawn, and all was in deep shadow. In one comer of tte chamber stood the bed, from which the deep respirations of the sleeper issued ; and, poor fellow, it must have been more than common fatigue and weariness that could have caused such sounds. As vrith cat-like stiUness I stole across the chamber, my eyes, grow- ing accustomed to the dim half-light, began to discover objects on each side of me. For instance, I perceived a splendid dressing-gown of amber-coloured silky lined with pale blue, and gorgeously em- broidered ; a cap of the same colours, with a silver tassel of a foot in length, lay beside it. • Slippers of costly embroidery in silver thread, and a most magnificent meerschaum, with a mounting of gold and rubies; was on the table, beside a ipair of pistols, whose carved stocks were inlaid with a tracery of the finest workmanship. These I knew to be James's, for I' had seen them with him ; and there were various other articles equally splendid and costly, aU new to me — such as card-cases, . tablets, cigar-hold6rs, and a most gorgeous dressing-case of gold and Bohemian glass,ifrom which, really, I could scarcely tear mysejf away. I was well aware that James had set no limit to his personal: extravagance ; but- these," and the display of rings, pins, but- tons, shirt-studs, chains, and trinkets of aU kinds, perfectly astounded me. And here let me remark, IQtty, that the young men of the pre- sent day far exceed us in aU that pei?tains to this taste^fof ornamental jewellery. As my eyes ranged over these attractive and beautiftd objects, I wa^ particularly struck withan opal brooch, representing a parrot in themidst of palm leaves. It was a most beautiful piece of enamel work, studded with-gems of every brilliant hue. It was, as you may imagine,' far too pretty for a man's wear, and I resolved to profit by the occasion, to appropriate, or, as the Ame- ricans say, to " annex,'' it to my own possessions. I had just fast- ened it in the front of my dress, when :the handle of the door turned, and— oh, Kitty ! conceive myagony as I.heard James's voice speaking from without ! It was therefore not his chamber where I was stand- ing, nor could the sleeper be him ! Escape and concealment were my first thought, and I sprang behind a screen at the very moment the door opened. Should I live a, hundred years, I shall never cease to remember the intense misery of that moment. Ton need only picture my situation to your own mind, to see how distressing it must have been. The certainty of being discovered if I made the slightest noise saved me from fainting, but I almost fancied that the loud beating of my heart might have betrayed me. James came in without any peculiar, deference for the sleeper's nerves, and, upsetting a chair or two, stumbled across the room Z^.^J^M'K^ .:23'tic4y' THE DODD TAMILT ABEOAD. 389 towards the bed, on which he seated himself, calling out " George — Tiverton — old fellow ! don't you mean to get up at aU, to-day ?" Oh, Kitty ! fancy my trembling terror as I heard that I was in the chamber of Lord G-eorge Tiverton. The very utmost I could do was to refrain from a scream ; nor do I now know how I succeeded in re- pressing it. It was not till after repeated efforts that James succeeded in awaking his friend, who at length, with a long-drawn sigh, exclaimed, " By Jove, Jemmy ! I'm glad you routed me up. I've had a horrid dream. Only think, I imagined that I was still in the House of Lords listening to that confounded case ! I fancied that Seratchley was addressing their Lordships in reply, and pledging himself to show that gross neglect, and even cruelty, could be proved against me. The old scoiindrel's harsh voice is still ringing in my ears, and I hear him tearing me to very tatters !" ""Was there anything of that sort?" said James, as he struck a light for his cigar and began smoking. " "Why, I must say, he was not complimentary. These fellows, you are aware, have a vocabulary of their own, and when setting up a defence for a pretty woman, married at seventeen, they pitch into one's little frailties at a very cruel rate. Not exactly that the narra- tive is very detrimental to a man's future prospects ; what really damages you is what they call Cruelty, and your wife's maid — par- ticularly if she be a iPrenchwoman — can always prove this." " Indeed !" exclaimed James, in some astonishment. " To be sure she can. "Why, everything that thwarts her Mistress in anything — good, bad, or indifferent — is Cruelty in the IVench sense. Ton are rather given to fast acquaintances ; you bring home with you to supper, some three or four times a week, detachments of that respectable company one meets at Tattersall's Yard, or in the Turf Club ; chicken hazard and the Coulisses of the Opera are amongst your weaknesses ; you have a taste for sport, and would rather take the odds agaiust the favourite than lay out your spare cash at Howell and James's. That's Cruelty ! When regularly done up in Town, you make a bolt for Boulogne, or rush down to your shooting- box in the Highlands. That's more Cruelty, and neglect besides ! Terribly pressed for money, you try to bully your wife's TJncle, one of the Trustees to her settlement, and threaten to kick him down stairs. Gross Cruelty ! Harder up again, you pledge her diamonds. Shocking Cruelty ! Cleared out and sold up, you suggest the pro- priety of her sending away the TVench maid, and travelling up to Paris alone. That's monstrous Cruelty ! And, in fact, all together 390 THE BOBI) XAMILY ABItOAB. establish a clear justification for amytiiing that may befel you. Besides tMs, Jeidamy, if you marry a gfirl of good femUy, sli© ie sure to haTe either a father, an nnde, or a "brothra", or perhaps some three or foiar cousins in the Lords:: now, whateirer comes off, they oppoee your Bill, and as their Lordships only want to hear your story, to listen to the piquant narrative of domestic differences and conjugal jarrings, nobody cares a straw whether you succeed or not. Give me a light, Jem." They both continued to puff their cigars for some time in silffliee, dxiring which my smfferings rose to absolute torture, for, in addition to the shocking circuiastancea of my own situation, was now the feet of my having overheard a most private 'Conversation. " So they threw out your BiUJ?" asked James, after a pause. " Deferred judgment !" replied the other, puffing, "which comes to pretty nigh the same thing. Asked for further evidence, explanations, what not — cursed •cigars, don't draw at aU." " They're Bollards' best Havannahs." " Well, perhaps I've been unlucky in my choice ; if so, it's not the first time, Jem ;" and he laughed heartily at the notion. " I say, take care and don't say anything about this affair of mine." " But it wUl be in all the papers. The Times will give it to-moirow or next day." " Not a bit of it — had a private hearing, old fellow. Too many good names compromised to have the thing made town talk — ^you understand." "Ah, that's it !" said James. " Yes, it's one of the few privileges remaining to what Lord Ctrey calls ' our order,' except, perhaps, the judgments of the London Ma- gistrates. To do them justice, the fellows do know what a Lord is, and 'they act accordingly.' There, it's out at last" — and he threw away his dgar — " and I suppose I may as well think of getting up. Just draw that curtain, Jem, and open the shutter." Oh, Xitty, dearest, can you form to yourself any idea of my situa- tion ! James had already risen from the bedside, and was groping his way to the window. Another moment, and a flood of light would pour into the room and inevitably discover me. My a^tation almost choked me ; it was like a sense of drowning, and at the same time accompanied by the terrible thought that I must not dare to cry for succour. James was busy with the button of the window-fastening — another instant and it would be too late — ^and with the energy of utter despair I sprang from behind the screen, and then pushing it with all my force, upset it over the toilet-table, the whole tumbling THE DODD FXMIUT ABEOAD. 391 against James with a hoprid craah, and laying him prostrate beneath the ruins. I dashed from the room with the speed of lightning ; I know not how I flew along the gallery, up the stairs, and gained my own chamber, but, as I tMmed ths key inside, all conseionsness left me, and I fell fainting on the floor. The noise of many footsteps on the corridor outside, and the sound of voices, aroused me. The frag- mraits I could collect showed me that aU were diseiassing the late catastrophe, and none able to explain it Oh, Kitty, what a gush of delight rushed through me to hear that I had escaped unseen, un- known, unsuspected ! The general voice attributed the accident to James's awkwardness, and I could perceive that he had not escaped without some bruises. It was a long time, too, ere I could turn my thoughts from imy late peril to think of the strange revelation I had been witness to ; nor was it without a certain shock to my feelings that I learned Lord George was married. His attentions to me were certainly particular, Kitty. Jf girl, with any knowledge of Ufe, makes any mistake on the subject, because, if she entertains a doubt, she knows how at once to resolve it by tests as unerring as those a Chemist employs to dis- cover arsenic. Now, I had submitted him to one or two of these at times, and ihey aU showed him to be " infallibly affected." With what a sense of disappointment, then, was I to hear that he was already married, the only alleviation being that he was seeking to dissolve the tie ! Poor fellow 1 how completely did this unhappy circumstance explain many expressions whose meaning had hitherto puzzled me ! How I saw through clouds and mists that once obscured the atmosphere of my hopes J And how readily did I forgive him for vacOlation and uncer- tainty, which before had often distressed and displeased me. UntU. free, it was of course impossible that he could avow his sentiments undisguisedly, and now, I reeognised the noble character of the straggle that he had maintaimed with himself. Oh, Kitty, it is not only that " the course of true love never did run smooth," biit it really could not be true love if it did so. The sluggish stream of common affection flows lazily along between the muddy banks and sedgy sides of ordinary life, but the boiling torrent of passionate love requires the rocks of difficulty to dam its course, and impart that character of foamy impetuosity that sweeps away every obstacle and dashes on- ward to its goal regardless of danger ! I'm sure I feel quite ranvinced that such is the nature of Lord G-.'s passion ; and that now these stupid " Lords" have rejected his plea for a divorce, if he be;not rescued by the hand of devoted affection, he may rush madly into eveiy 393 THE I) ODD PAMILT ABEOAD. excess, and dissipate the gjreat talents with which he is so remarkably gifted. Be candid now, my darling Kitty, and confess frankly that you are greatly shocked at these doctrines, and your dear little Irish prudery blushes crimson at the bare thought of feeling even an interest in a man already married, and horrified at the notion of bis hypothetical attentions. Tes, I see it aU ; your sweetly-dimpled mouth is pursed up with conscious propriety, and you are arranging your features into all the sternness of judicial severity, but hear me for one mo- ment in defence, if not in justification. All these things seem very dreadful to you in the solitudes of Tipperary, simply because of their infrequency. The man who has separated from his wife, or the woman divorced from her husband, are great criminals to your home- bred notions, and by your social code they are sentenced at once to a • life of solitude and isolation ; but in the real world, my dear Kitty, , on the great stage of life, this severity would be downright absurdity: the category so mercilessly condemned by you, is exactly that which contains the true salt of society ; these are the very people that every- body calls charming, fascinating, delightful ! All the elastic, buoyant natures, the joyous spirits, the invariable good tempers, the generous hearts, one meets with, are amongst them. "Why such happily- gifted creatures should not have made their homes a Paradise, is a problem none can solve. It is like the squaring of the circle — ^the cause of Irish misery — or anything else you can think of equally inscrutable ; but the fact is as I teU you ; and if you wiU just run your eye over any list of fashionable company, and select such as I speak of, believe me you wiU. have extracted all the plums from the pudding. Aa for Lord George himself, a more delightful creatiu-e does not exist ; and one has only to know him to be convinced that the woman who could not be happy with him must be a demon. Of the generous character he possesses, and at the same time the con- summate tact of his manner, an instance grew out of the little event I have just related. In my confusion and embarrassment after escaping from the room, I totally forgot the brooch which I had placed in my dress, and actually came down to breakfast with it stiU. there. Guess my shame and horror, Kitty, when James called out, across the table, " I say, Mary Anne, what a smart pin you've got there — one of the neatest things I have seen." I grew scarlet — then pale ; and felt as if I was going to faint ; when Lord George cried out, " It is, really, very tasty. I had one myself something like it, but the stones were emeralds, not rubies ; and I think Miss Dodd's is prettier." THE DODD PAMILT ABEOAD. 393 The man who could rescue one at such a conjuncture, Kitty, is worthy of all confidence, and so I told him by a glance. Meanwhile, he gave the conversation another turn by proposing a fishing ex- cursion on the Lake, and immediately after breakfast we all sallied forth to the water. Notwithstandiag his agreeability — and he never displayed it to greater advantage — I was silent and abstracted during the entire day. The embarrassment of my position was almost unendurable ; and it was only as he took my arm, to conduct me back to the Hotel, that I regained anything like courage. " "Why are you so serious ?" said he. " Mind, I don't want a con- fession ; only, that I have a secret for yowr ear, whenever you will trust me with one of yours." I made him no answer, Kitty, but walked along in silence, and with my veil down. I write all these things to my dearest Mend with less reserve than I could reeal them to my own memory in solitude. I tell her everything ; and she is the true partner of my joys, my sorrows, my hopes, and my terrors. Tet must I leave much to her imagination to picture forth the state of my afiections, and the troubled sea of my heart's emotions. And, oh ! dearest, kindest, tenderest of all friends, do not mistake, do not misconstrue the feelings of your ever attached and devoted Mabt Awirai. I wanted to teU you something of our future destination, and I have detained this for that purpose, but still everything is uncertain and undecided. Papa received a large packet, like law papers and leases, from Mr. Purcell yesterday, and has been occupied in perusing them ever since. "We are in terror lest he should decide on going back ; and every time he enters the room, we are trembling in dread of the announcement. Mamma has had a hysterical attack, in preparation for the moment, for the last twenty-four hours ; and even if " no cause be shown," I fancy she will not throw away so much good agony for nothing, but take it out for what Sir Boyle Eoach fought his duel — " Miscellaneous reasons." Gary is still staying with the Morrises. How she endures it I can't conceive : a half-pay lover, and a half-pay menage, are two things that, to tne at least, would be insupportable. The girl is really totally destitute of all proper pride, and makes the siUy mis- take of supposing that a spirit of independence is the best form of self-esteem. I suppose it will end by the " Captain's" proposing for her ; but up to this, I believe, it is all friendship, regard, and so on. S94 THE DODD FAMILY ABBOAD. LETTEE XLIH. KJBNNT JAMES DODD TO THOMAS PUECELi, ESft., OT THE ORANGE, BEXIPI'. Constaxioe. Mr DEAE Tom, I fiOT the papers all safe. I am STire the acooTint is perfectly leorrect. I only vnsh the feaianee was bigger. I waited here to receive these things, and now I discover that I can't sign the war- jant of Attorney except hefore a Consul, aad there is none in this place, so that I must keep it over till I can find one of those pleasant fonfitionames— a. dass that, between ourselvfis, I detest hesoMlj. Thegr ane a puesiomptuous, under-bred, eonsequemtaal race — ^a cross between a small Bkij)per, and smaller Secretary of Legatioa, mth. a nuxture of official pedaaitiy and maritime off-handedness that is per- fectly disgusting- "Why our reforming economists don't root them laM out I eaatMiot oDJoeeire. Nobody wants, nobody benefits by them ; and save tiaat you are now and then called on for a. "Consular fee," you might never hear of their existence. I (doil't jnghtly understand what you say about the loan from that Land Improvement Society. Do you mean that the money lent must be laid out on the land as a necessary icondition ? Is it pos- sible .tiaat Mm is what I am to infer ? If bo, I never heaid anything half so preposterous ! Sure, if I raise five hundred pounds from a Jiew, he has no right to stipulate that I must spend the cash on copper BDal-scuttles or potted meats ! I want it for my own con- veuience; enough for him that I comply wilii his demands for in- terest ajnd repayment. Anything else wouM, be downright tyranny and oppression, Tom — as a Baere momentary coasideration of the matter will show yiou. At all events, let us get the money, for I'd like to contest the point with these fellows; and if ever there was a man heart and soid determined to break down any antufiiiaiied bander of craielty or domination, it is your friend Kenny Bodd ! As to that printed paper, with its twenty-seven queries, it is positive balderdash frooa beg^nnipg to end. What right have they to conclude that i approve of smb-soil draining ? When did I tell them that I believed in Smith of Deanstown ? Where is it on record that I gave in my adhesion to model cottages, Berkshire pigs, greesn crops, and guano manure ? In what document do these appear P Maybe I hsve my THE DODB FAMILY ABEOAB. 395 own notions on these matters — maybe I kee^ iiiean for my own guidance, too ! Tou wf ttat tlie G-emtry is all etangiag throra^out the wfeole land, and I believe you well, Tom Purcell. Changed indeed must they be if th^y subacribe to such preposterous humbug as this ! At all events, I repeat we wamt the money, bo fill up the blanks as you think best, and remit me the amonjnt at your earliest, for I hsare barely enough to get to the end of the present month. I don't dislike tihis place at all. It is quiet, peaceful — humidnim, if you will j but we've bad more than our share of racket and row lately, and the reclmsion is very gratefuL One day is exactly like anothier with us. lord GesBTge — for he is back again — land James go a ifishing as soon as breatfaat is otbp, and only return for supper- Masej Anne reads, "writes, sews, and sings. Mrs. J3. £lls up the time disdbrarging BeMy, iseitling wiMi her, searehiisg her trunks for missing articles, and b^g reconciled to her again, which, with occasional ■crying fits, and her usual devotions, don't leave her a single moment unoccupied! As for me, I'm trying to leara German, whenever I'm not asle^. I've got a Master — he is a Swiss, and maybe his accent is not of 13ie purest ; bntlie is an amusing old vagabond — an mnbrdla-maker, but in his youth a travelling servant. His time is not very valuable to iim, BO that he sits with me soiuietimes for half a day ; but still I make little |)rogresB. Jlly notion is, Tom, that there's no use in either making love, or trying a new language, after you're five or six- and-twenty. It's all np-Mllwork after that, beHeve me. Neither your declensions nor declarations come natural to you, and it's a bungling performance at the best. The first condition of either is, to bave your bead perfectly free — as little in it as need be. So long as your tiioughts are jostkd by debts, duns, mortgages, and mar- ■liageable daughters, you'U have no room for vows or irregailar verbs ! It's lucky, bowever, that one can dispense both with the love and the learning, and indeed of the two— with the last best, for of all the useless, unprofitable kinds of labour ever pursnied out of a gaol, acquiring a foreign language is the most. The few words reqaidred for daily necessaries, such as snaps and cigaira, aire easUy learnt^ aU beyond that is downright rubbish. J'or what can a man express his thoughts in so well as his mother tongue ? with whom does be want to talk but his eoantrymen ? Of coiuTse you come out with the
man ia scarified by Dims, and flayed alive by Law-Buita ; and when a feUew comes to my time of life, he can no THE BODD rAMTLT ABEOAD. 399 more bear' the candid rudeness of what ia eaUed friemtoip than am ex-Lord Mayor could endure Penitemtiaxy diet ! I must confess, however, that whenever we come to divide on any question, Xord George always votes with Mrs. D. He told me once, that with respect to Parliament, he always sided with the Gkivem- ment, whatever it was, when he could, and perhaps he follows the same rule in private life. Last nighty after tea, we discussed our future movements, and I found Mm; strongly in favour of getting' us on to Italy for the winter, I didn't like to debate the matter exactly on financial grounds, but I hazarded a half-eonjecture that the ex- pedition would be a costly one. H& stopped me ast once, " Up to this time," said he, "you have really not benefited by the cheapness of Continental livLog"^ — that was certainly true — ■" and for this, simple reason, yon have always lived in the beaten track of the wandering Coekney, Tou must go further away from England. Tou must reach, those places where people settle as residents, not ramble as tourista ; you will then be rewarded, not only economically, but socially.. The markets and the morals are both better ; for our countrymen filter by distance, and the further from home the purer th^ become." To Mrs. D. and Mary Anne he gave a glowing description of Trans- Alpine existence, and rapturously pictured forth the fescinations of Italian life. I can only give you the items, Tom ; you must arrange them for yourself. So make what you can of starry skies, olives, ices, tenors, volcanoes, music, mountains, and maccaroni. He appealed to me by the Budget. Never was there such cheapness in the known world. The Italian nobility were actually crushed down with house- accommodation, and only entreated a stranger to accept ctf a Palace or a ViUa. The climate produced everything without labour, and consequently without cost. Fruit had no price j wine was about two- pence a bottle ; a strong tap rose to two and a half! Clothes one scarcely needed ; and, except for decency, " nothing, and a cocked hat" would suffice. These were very sedeetive considerations, Tom ; and I own to you that, even allowing a large margin fbr exaggeration, there was a great amount of solid advantage remaining; Mrs. D. adduced an additional argument when we were alone, and ia this wise : What was to be done vrith the wedding finery, if we should return to Ireland,- for aU purposes of home life they would be- totally inapplicable. Tou might as weU order a serviee of plate tO' serve vp potatoes as introduce P&ris fashions and fotreiga elegance into our provincial circle. "We have the things now," said she; "let ns have the good of them." I remember a cask of Madeira being left with my Father once, by a mistake, 'and thait was the very reason he 400 THE DODD TAMILT ABBOAD. gave for drinking it. She made a strong ease of it, Tom ; she argued the matter well, laying great stress upon the duty we owed our girls, and the necessity of " getting them married before we went back." Of course, I didn't give in. . If I was to give her the notion that she could convince me of anything, we'd never have a moment's peace again ; so I said I'd reflect on the subject, and turn it over in my mind. And now, I want you to say what disposable cash can we lay our hands on for the winter ! I am more than ever disinclined to have aay- thiug to say to these Drainage Commissioners. It's our pockets they drain, and not our farms. I'd rather try and raise a trifle on mortgage ; for you see, now-a-days they have got out of the habit of doing it, and there's many a one has money lying idle and doesn't know what to do with it. Look out for one of these fellows, Tom ; and see what you can do with him. Dear me, isn't it a strange thing the way one goes through life, and the contrivances they're put to to make two ends meet ! I remember the time, and so do you, too, when an Irish Grentleman could raise what he liked ; and there wasn't an estate in my own comity wasn't encumbered, as they call it, to more than double . its value. There's fellows will tell you " that's the cause of all the pre- sent distress." Not a bit of it. They're all wrong! It is because that system has come to an end that we are ruined ; " that's the root of the evU," Tom PurceU ; and if I was in Parliament I'd teU them so. Where will you find any one vriHing to lend money now, if the estate wouldn't pay it ? We may thank the English Government for that ; and, as poor Dan used to say, " They know as much about us as the Chinese !" I can't answer your question about James. Vickars has not replied to my last two letters; and I really see no opening for the boy whatever. . I mean to write, however, iu a day or two to Lord Muddle- ton, to whom Lord George is nearly related, and ask for something in the Diplomatic way. Lord G. says it's the only career now-a-days doesn't require some kind of qualification — since even in the Army they've instituted a species of examination. " Get him made an Attache somewhere," says Tiverton, " and he must be a ' Plenipo' at last." J. is good-looking, and a great deal of dash about him ; and I'm informed that's exactly what's wanting in the career ! If nothing comes of this application, I'll think seriously of Australia ; but, of course, ]\Irs. P. must know nothing about it ; for, according to Tier notions, the boy ought to be Chamberlain to the Queen, or Gold-stick, at least. I don't know whether I mentioned to you that Betty Cobb had THE BODD FAMIIiT ABEOAD. 4Q1 entered the holy bonds with a semi-civilised creature she picked upin the Black Forest. The oiirang-outang is now a part of our household — at least so far as Hying at rack and manger at my cost— r-though in what way to employ him I have not the slightest notion. Do. you think if I could manage to send him over to Ireland, that we could get him indicted for any transportable offence ? Ask Curtis about it ; for I know he did something of the kind once in the case of a natural son of Tony Barker's, and the lad is now a Judge, I believe, in Sydney, Gary is quite well. I heard from her yesterday, and when I write, I'll be sure to send her your affectionate message. I don't mean to leave this till I hear from you. So write immediately, and beKeve me. Very sincerely your friend, Keitnt James Dodb. LETTEE XLIV. JAMES DODD TO ROBEET DOOLAN, ESQ., TRINITY COLLEaE, DUBLIN. Bregenz. Mt deae Bob, I HAD made up my mind not to write to you till we had quitted this place, where our life has been of the " slowest ;" but this morn- ing has brought a letter with a piece of good news which I cannot defer imparting to you. It is a communication from the Under- Secretary for foreign Affairs to the Grovernor, to say, that, I have been appointed to something somewhere, and that I am to come over to London, and be examined by somebody. Very vague all this,, but I suppose it's the style of Diplomacy, and one will get used to it. The real bore is the examination, for George told " Dad" that there was none, and, in fact, that very circumstance it was which gave the peculiar value to the " service." Tiverton tells me, however, he can make it " all safe ;" whether you " tip" the Secretary, or some of the underlings, I don't know. Of course there is a way in all these things, for half the fellows that pass are just as ignorant as your humble servant. I am mainly indebted to Tiverton for the appointment, for he- wrote to everybody he could think of, and made-as much interest as if it was for himself. He tells me. in confidence, that the list of names down is about six feet long, and actually wonders at the good fortune of my success. Erom all I can learn, however, there is no salary at first,, so that the Governor must " stump out handsome," 2d 402 THE DODD BAMimT AJ8B0AD, for an Attacli^ is expected to live in a certain style, keep horses, and, in fact, come it " rayther strongist." In some respects, I should have preferred the Army ; hut then there are terrihle draw- backs in Colonial banishment, whereas, in Diplomacy, you are, at least, stationed iu the vidnity of a Court, which is always something. I wonder where I am to be gazetted for, I hope Naples, but even Vienna would do. In the midst of our universal joy at my good few- tune, it's not a little provoking to see the Governor pondering over all it will cost for outfit, and wondering if the post be worth the gold lace on the uniform. Happily for me, Bob, he never brought me up to any profession, as it is called, and it is too late now to make me anything either in Law or Physic. I say happily, because I see plainly enough that he'd refuse the present opportunity if he knew of any other career for me. My mother does not improve matters by little jokes on his low tastes and vulgax ambitions ; and, in fact, the an- nouncement has brought a good deal of discussion and some discord amongst us. I own to you, frankly, that once named to a Legation, I will do my utmost to persuade the Governor to go back to Ireland. In the first place, nothing but a very rigid economy at Dodsborough wiU enable him to make me a liberal allowance ; and secondly, to have my family prowling about the Legation to which I was attached, would be perfectly insufferable. I like to have my Pather and Mother what theatrical folk call "practicable," that is, good for aU efficient purposes of bill paying, and such like ; but I shudder at the notion of being their pioneer into fashionable life, and indeed I am not aware of any one having carried his parent on his back since the days of ^neas. I am obliged to send you a very brief despatch, for I'm off to- morrow for London, to make my bow at " P. O.," and kiss hands on my appointment. I'd have liked another week here, for the fishing has just come in, and we IriUed yesterday, with two rods, eleven large, and some thirty smaU trout. They are a short, thick-shouldered kind of fish, ready enough to rise, but sluggish to play afterwards. The place is pretty, too — the Swiss Alps at one side, and the Tyrol mountaias at the other. Bregenz itself stands well, on the very verge of the Lake, and although not ancient enough to be curious in architecture, has a picturesque air about it. The people are as pri- mitive as anything one can well fancy, and wear a costume as un- gracefully barbarous as any lover of nationality could desire. Their waists are close under their arms, and the longest petticoats I have yet seen finish at the kneel They affect, besides, a round low- THE DODD TAMILT ABBOAB. 403 crowned cap, like a fur turban, or else a great piece of filigree silver, shaped like a peacock's tail, and fastened to the back of the head. Nafimre, it must be owned, has been somewhat ungenerous to them ; and with the peculiar advantages conferred on them by costume, they are the ugliest creatures I've ever set eyes on, ik is ouly just to remark that Mary Anne dissents from me ia all this, and has made vairious " studies" of them, which are, after all, not a whit more flattering than my own description. As to a good- looking peasantry, Bob, it's all humbug. It's only the weU-to^do classes, in any country, have pretensions tO' beauty. The woman of rank numbers amongst her charms the unmistakable stamp of her condition. Even in her gait, like the Q-oddess in Virgii, she dis- plays her divinity. The pretty " bourgeoise" has her peculiar &sci- nation in the brilliant intelligence of her lanugMng eye, and the sly archness of her witty mouth ; but your peasant beauty is essen- tially heavy and dull. It is of the earth — earthy ; and there is a bucolic grossness about the lips the very antithesis to the pleasing. I'm led to these remarks by the question in your last as to the cha- racter of Continental physiognomy. Up to this. Bob, I have seen nothing to compare with our own people, and you will meet more pretty faces between Stephen's Gfreen and the Eotundathan between Schaffhausen and the sea. I'm not going to deny that they " make up" better abroad, but our boast is the raw material of beauty. The manufactured article we cannot dispute with them. It would be, however, a great error to suppose that the artistic excellence I speak of is a small consideration ; on the contrary, it is a most important one, and well deserving of deep thought and reflection, and, I mtist say, that »U our faUures in the decorative arts are as nothing to our blunders when attempting to adorn beauty. A IVeneh woman, with a akin like an old drumhead, and the lower jaw of a baboon, will actually "get herself up" to look better than many a really pretty girl of our country, disfigured by unbecoming hairdressing, iQ-assarted colours, ill pat on clothes, and that confounded walk, which is a cross between the stride of a Grenadier and running in a sack ! "With all our parade of Industrial Exhibitions, and shows of Na- tional productions lately, nobody has directed his attention to this subject, and for my part, I'd infinitely rather know that our female population had imbibed some notions of dress and aelf-adomment from their Erench neighbours, than that (EUasgow could rival Q-enoa in velvet, or that we beat Bohemia out of the field in coloured glass. If the proper study of mankind be man — which of course includes woman — we are throwing a precious deal of time away on centrifugal 2d2 404 THE DODD FAMILY ABBOAD. pumps, sewing machines, and self-acting razors. If I ever get into Parliament,' Bob, and I don't see why I should not, when once fairly launched in the Diplomatic Une, I'll move for a Special Commission, not to examine into foreign railroads, or mines, or schools, or smelt- ing-houses, but to inquire into, and report upon, how the women abroad, with not a tenth of the natural advantages, contrive to look — I won'-t say better — ^but more fascinating than our own, and how it is that they convert something a shade below plainness, into features of downright pleasing expression! Since this appointment has come, I have been working away to brush up my French and German, which you wiU be surprised to hear is pretty nearly where it was when we first came abroad. "We English herd so much together, and continue to follow our home habits, and use our own language, wherever we happen to be, that it is, not very easy to break out of the beaten track. This observation applies only to the men of the family, for our Sisters make a most astonishing progress, under the guidance of those mustachioed and well- whiskered Gents they meet at Balls. The Govemer and my Mother of course believe that I am as great a linguist as Mezzofanti, if that be the fellow's name, and I shall try and keep up the delusion to the last. It is not quite impossible I may have more time for my studies here than I fancy, for " Dad" has come in, this moment, to say that he hasn't got five shillings towards the expenses of my journey to London, nor has he any very immediate prospect of a remittance fi;om Ireland. What a precious mess wiU it be if my whole career in hfe is to be sacrificed for a shabby hundred or two. The Governor appears to have spent about three times as much as he speculated on, and our affairs at this moment present as pleasant a specimen of hopeless entanglement as a Counsel in Bankruptcy could desire. I wish I was out of the ship altogether, Bob, and would willingly adventure on the broad ocean of life in a punt, were it only my own. I trust that by the time this reaches you, her Majesty's gracious pleasure will have numbered me amongst the servants of the Crown, but whether in high or humble estate, believe me ever Unalterably yours, Jamss Doso. P.S. — My Sister Cary has written to say she will be here to-night or to-morrow ; she is coming expressly to see me before I go ; but from all that I can surmise she need not have used such haste. What a bore it will be if the Governor should not be able to " stump out." I'm in a perfect fever at the very thought. THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAD. 405 LETTEE XLV. CAROLINi: DODD TO MISS COX, AT MISS MINCINO'S ACADEMY, BLACK. BOCK, IBELAND. Mt deae Miss Cox, It would appear from your last, that a letter of mine to you must have miscarried ; for I most distinctly remember having written to you on the topics you aUude to, and, so far as I was able, answered all your kind inquiries about myself and my pursuits. Lest my former note should ever reach you, I do not dare to go over again the selfish narrative, which would task even your fiiendship to peruse once. I remained with my kiad friend, Mrs. Morris, till three days ago, when I came here to see my brother James, who has been promised some Government employment, and is obliged to repair at once to London. Mamma terrified me greatly by saying that he was to go to China or to India, so that I hurried back to see and stay with him as much as I could before he left us. I rejoice, however, to tell you that his prospects are in the Diplomatic service, and he will be most probably named to a Legation in some European capital. He is a dear, kind-hearted boy ; and, although not quite untainted by the corruptions which are more or less inseparable from this rambling existence, is stiU as fresh in his aflfections, and as generous in nature, as when he left home. Captain Morris, whose knowledge of life is considerable, predicts most favourably of him, and has only one misgiving — ^the close intimacy he maiatains with Lord George Tiverton. Towards this young Noblepian the Captaia expresses the greatest distrust and dislike ; feelings that I really own seem to me frequently tinctured by a degree of prejudice rather than suggested by reason. It is true, no two beings can be less alike than they are. The one, rigid and unbending ia all his ideas of right, listening to no compromise, submitting to no expediency, reserved towards strangers even to the verge of stiffness, and proud from a sense that his humble station might by possibility expose him to freedoms he could not reciprocate. The other, all openness and candour, pushed pro- bably to an excess, and not unfrequently transgressing the barrier of 406 THE DODD TAMILT ABEOAD. an honourable self-esteem ; without the slightest pretension to prin- ciple of any kind, and as ready to own his own indifference as to ridicule the profession of it by another. Tet, with all this, kind and generous in aU his impulses, ever willing to do a good-natured thing ; and, so far as I can judge, even prepared to bear a friendly part at the hazard of personal inconvenience. Characters of this stamp are, as you have often observed to me, far more acceptable to very young men than those more swayed by rigid rules of right ; and when they join to natural acuteness considerable practical knowledge of Hfe, they soon obtain a great influence over the less gifted and less experienced. I see this in James ; for, though not by any means blind to the blemishes in Lord George's character, nor even indifferent to them, yet is he submissive to every dictate of his will, and an implicit believer in all his opinions. But why should I feel astonished at this ? Is not his influence felt by every member of the family; and Papa himself, with aH his native shrewdness, strongly disposed to regard his judgments as wise and correct. I remark this the more, because I have been away from home ; and after an absence one returns with a mind open to every new impression ; nor can I conceal from myself that many of the notions I now see adopted and approved of, are accepted as being those popular in high society, and not because of their intrinsic correctness. Had we remained in Ireland, my dear Miss Cox, this had never been the case. There is a corrective force in the vicinity of those who have known us long and intimately, who can measure our pretensions by our station, and pronounce upon our mode of life from the knowledge they have of our condition ; and this discipline, if at times severe and even unpleasant, is, upon the whole, beneficial to us. Now, abroad, this wholesome — shall I call it — " surveillanee" is wanting altogether, and people are induced by its very absence to give themselves airs, and assume a style quite above them. IVom that very moment they insensibly adopt a new standard of right and vrrong, and substitute fashion and conventionality for purity and good conduct. I'm sure I wish we were back in Dodsborough with all my heart ! It is not that there are not objects and scenes of intense interest around us here on every hand. Even I can feel that the mind expands by the variety of impressions that continue to pour in upon it. StiU, I would not say that these things may not be bought too dearly ; and that if the price they cost is discontent at our lot in life, a craving ambition to be higher and richer, and a cold shrinking back from all of our own real condition, they are unquestionably not worth the sacrifice. THE DODD TAMIIiT ABEOAB. 407 To really enjoy tie Continent, it is not necessary — at least for people bred and brought up as we have been — to be very rich ; on the contrary, many — ay, and the greatest — adrantages of Continental travel are open to very small fortunes, and very small ambitions. Scenery, cUmate, inexpensive acquaintanceship, galleries, works of art, public libraries, gardens, promenades, are all available. The Morrises have certainly much less to live on than we have, and yet they have travelled over every part of Europe, know all its cities well, and never found the cost of living considerable. You will smile when I teU you that the single secret for this is, not to cultivate English society. Once make up your mind abroad to live with the people of the country, Ereneh, G-erman, and Italian — ^and there is no class of these above the reach of well-bred English — and you need neither shine in equipage, nor excel iu a cook. There is no pecuniary test of respect- ability abroad; partly because this vulgarity is the offspring of a commercial spirit, which is of course not the general characteristic, and partly from the fact, that many of the highest names have been brought clown to humble fortunes by the accidents of war and revo- lution, and poverty is consequently no evidence of deficient birth. Our gorgeous notions of hospitality are certainly very fine things, and well become great station and large fortune, but are ruinous when they are imitated by inferior means and humble incomes. Foreigners are quite above such vulgar mimicry ; and nothing is more common to hear than the avowal, " I am too poor to do this ; my fortune would not admit of that;" not uttered in a mock humility, or with the hope of a polite incredulity, but in all the unaffected sim- plicity with which one mentions a personal fact, to which no shame or disgrace attaches. Ton may imagine, then, how unimpressively fall upon the ear all those pompous announcements by which we travelling English herald our high and mighty notions ; the Palaces we are about to hire, the f^tes we are going to give, and the other splendours we mean to indulge in. I have read and re-read that part of your letter wherein you speak of your wish to come and Hve abroad, so soon as the fruits of your life of labour will enable you. Oh, my dear, kind Governess, with what emotion the words iilled me — emotions very different from those you ever suspected they would call up ; for I bethought me how often I and others must have added to that toilsome existence by our indo- lence, our carelessness, and our wilfulness. In a moment there rose before me the anxieties you must have suffered, the cares you must have endured, the hopes for those who threw aU their burdens upon 408 THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAB. you, and left to you the blame of ihew Bhort-comiiigs and the reproach of tlievr insufficiency. "What rest, what repose would ever requite such labour! How delighted am I to say, that there are places abroad where even the smallest fortunes will suffice. I profited by the permission you gave me to show your letter to Mrs. Morris, and she gave me in return a list of places for you to choose from, at any one of which you could live with comfort for less than you speak of. Some are in Belgium, some in Germany, and some ia Italy. Think, for instance, of a small house on the " Meuse," in the midst of the most beauteous scenery, and with a country teeming in every abundance around you, for twelve pounds a year, and all the material of life equally cheap in proportion. Imagine the habits of a Grand Ducal capital, where the Prime Minister receives three hundred per annum, and spends two ; where the admission to the theatre is fourpence, and you go to a Court dinner on foot at four o'clock in the day, and sit out of an evening with your work in a public garden afterwards. Now, I know that in Ireland or Scotland, and perhaps in "Wales too, places might be discovered where all the ordinary wants of life would not be dearer than here, but then remember, that to live with this economy at home, you subject yourself to all that pertains to a small estate ; you endure the barbarising influences of a solitary life, •or, what is worse, the vulgarity of. village society. The well-to-do classes, the educated and refined, vrill not associate with you. Not so here. Tour small means are no barrier against your admission into the best circles; you will be received anywhere. Tour black sUk gown win be " toilet" for the " Minister's reception," your white muslin will be good enough for a ball at Court ! "When the Army numbers in its cavalry fifty Hussars, and one battalion for its infantry, the simple resident need never blush for his humble retinue, nor feel ashamed that a maid-servant escorts him to a Court entertainment with a lantern, or that a latch-key and a lucifer-match do duty for a hall-porter and a chandelier ! One night: — I was talking of these things — Captain Morris quoted a Latin author to the eifect, " That Poverty had no such heavy inflic- tion as in its power to make people ridiculous." The remark sounds at first an unfeeling one, but there is yet a true and deep Philosophy in it, for it is in our own abortive and siUy attempts to gloss over narrow fortune that the chief sting of poverty resides, and the ridicule alluded to is all of our making ! The poverty of two thousand a year can be thus as glaringly absurd — as ridiculous, as that of THE DODD TAMILT ABEOAD. 409 two hundred, and even more so, since its failures are more con- spicuous. Now, had we been satisfied to live in this way, it is not alone that we should have avoided debt and embarrassment, but we should really have profited largely besides. I do not speak of the negative advantages of not mingling with those it had been better to have escaped ; but that in the society of these smaller capitals there is, especially in Germany, a highly cultivated and most instructive class, slightly pedantic, it may be, but always agreeable and always affable. The domesticity of Germany is little known to us, since even their Writers afibrd few gHmpses of it. There are no Bulwers, nor Bozes, nor Thackerays to show the play of passion, nor the working of deep feeling around the family board and hearth. The cares of fathers, the hopes of sons, the budding anxieties of the girlish heart, have few chroniclers. How these people think, and act, and talk at home, and in the secret circle of their families, we know as little as we do of the Chinese. It may be that the inquiry would require long, and deep, and almost microscopic study. Life with them is not as with us, a stormy wave-tossed ocean ; it is rather a calm and land-locked bay. They have no Colonial empires, no vast territories for military ambi- tion to revel in, nor great enterprise to speculate on. There are neither gigantic schemes of wealth, nor gold-fields to tempt them. Existence presents few prizes, and as few vicissitudes. The march of events is slow, eveuj and monotonous, and men conform themselves to the same measure ! How, then, do they live — what are their loves, their hates, their ambitions, their crosses, their troubles, and their joys ? How are they moved to pity — how stirred to revenge ? I own to you I cannot even fancy this. The German heart seems to me a clasped volume ; and even Goethe has but shown us a chance page or two, gloriously illustrated, I acknowledge, but closed as quickly as displayed. Is Marguerite herself a type ? I wish some one would teU me. Is that childlike gentleness, that trustful nature, that resistless, pas- sionate devotion, warring with her piety, and yet heightened by it — are these German traits ? They seem so ; and yet do these Frauleins that I see, with yellow hair, appear capable of this head- long and impetuous love ? Faust, I'm convinced, is true to his na- tionality. He loves like a German — and is mad, and mystical, fond, dreamy, and devoted by turns. But aU these are not what I look for. I want a family picture — a Teerburgh or a Mieris — ^painted by a German Dickens, or touched 410 THE BODB TAMILT ABBOAD. by a native Titmarsh. So far as I have read of it too, the Gl-ermaii Drama does not fill up this void ; the Comedies of the stage present nothing identical of the people, and yet it appears to me they are singularly good materials for portraituare. The stormy incidents of University life, its curious vicissitudes, and its strange, half-crazed modes of thought, blend into the quiet realities of after-life, and make up men such as one sees nowhere else. The tinge of Eomance they have contracted in boyhood is never thoroughly washed out of their natures, and although Statecraft may elevate them to be grave Privy Counsellors, or good fortune select them for its Sevemiie Officers, they cherish the old memories of Halle and Heidfilbarg, and can grow valorous over the shape of a rapier, or pathetic about the colour of Fraulein Lydchen's hair. It is, doubtless, very presumptuous in me to speak thus of a people of whom I have seen so little ; but bear in mind, my dear Mjss Cox, that I'm rather giving Mrs. Morris's experiences than my own, and, in some cases, in her own Tery words. She had a very extensive acquaintance in Germany, and corresponds besides with many very distinguished persons of that country. Perhaps private letteis give a better insight into the habits of a people than most other thiugs, and if so, one should pronounce very fevourably of Grerman charac- ter from the specimens I have seen. There are, everywhere, great truthfulness, great fairness; a willingness to concede to others a standard different from their own ; a hopeful tone in all things, and extreme gentleness towards women and children. Of rural life, and of scenery, too, they speak with true feeling 5 and, as Sir Walter said of G-oethe, " They understand trees.'' Ton will wish to hear something of Biregenz, where we are staying at present, and I have little to say beyond its situation in a little bay on the Lake of Constance, begirt with high mountains, amidst which stretches a level flat, traversed by the Ehine. The town itself is scarcely old enough to be picturesque, though from a distance on the Lake the effect is very pleasing. A part is built upon a considerable eminence, the ascent to which is by a -very steep street, impassable save on foot ; at the top of this is an old gateway, the centre of which is ornamented by a grotesque attempt at sculpture, repre- senting a female figure seated on a horse, and to all seeming, tra- versing the clouds. The phenomenon is explained by a legend, that tells how a Bregenzer maiden, some three and a half centuries ago, had gone to seek her fortune in Switzerland, and becoming domes- ticated there in a family, lived for years among the natural enemies THE DODD I'AMILT ABEOAD. 411 of her people. Having learned, by an accident one niglit, that an attack was meditated on her native town, she etole away xmpereeived, and taking a horse swam the current of the Bhine, and reached Bregenz in time to give warning of the threatened assanlt, and thus rescued her kinsmen and her birthplace from sack and slaughter. This is the act commemorated by the sculpture, and the stormy waves of the river are doubtless typified in what seem to be clouds. There is, however, a faar more touching memory of the heroism preserved than this, for, each night, as the watchman goes his round of the village, when he comes to announce midnight, he calls aloud the name of her who at the same dead hour, three centuries bade, came to wake the sleeping town and tell them of their peril. I do not know of a monument so touching as this I No bust nor statue, no group of marble or bronze, can equal in association the simple memory transmitted from age to age, and preserved ever fresh and green in the hearts of a remote generation. As one thinks of this, the mind at once reverts to the traditions of the early dhiaa'ch, and insensibly one is led to feel the beauty of those transmitted words and acts, which, associated with place, and bound up with customs not yet obsolete, gave such impressive truthfulness to all the story of our Paith. At the same time, it is apparent thai the current of tradition cannot long run pure. Even now there are those who scoff at the grateful record of the Bregenzer maiden ! Where wiU her memory be five years after the first railroad traverses the valley of the Vorarlberg? The shrill whistle of the "express" is the death-note to all the romance of life ! Some deplore this, and. assert that, with this immense advancement of scientific discovery, we are losing the homely virtues of our fathers. Others pretend that we grow better as we grow wiser, and that increased intelligence is but another form of enlarged goodness. To myself, the great change seems to be, that every hour of this pro- gress diminishes the influence of woman, and that, as men grow deeper and deeper engaged in the pursuits of wealth, the female voice is less listened to, and its counsels less heeded and cared for. But why do I dare to hazard such conjectures to you, so far more capable of judging, so much more able to solve questions like this! I am sorry not to be able to speak more confidently about my music ; but although Grermany is essentially the land of song, there is less domestic cultivation of the art than I had expected ; or, rather, it is made less a matter of display. Tour mere acquaintances seldom or never wiU sing for your amusement ; your friends as rarely refuse 412 THE DODD I'AMIIiT ABBOAS. you. To our notions, also, it seems strange that men are more given to the art here than women. The Itau is almost entirely devoted to household cares. Small fortunes and primitive habits seem to require this, and certainly no one who has ever witnessed the domestic peace of a German fainUy could find fault with the system. What has most struck me of all here, is the fact, that while many of the old people retain a freshness of feeling, and a warm suscepti- bility that is quite remarkable — the children are uniformly grave, even to sadness. The bold, dashing, half-reckless boy; the gay, laughing, high-spirited girl, have no t3rpes here. The season of youth, as we understand it, in all its jocund merriment, its froUes, and its wildness, has no existence amongst them. The child of ten seems weighted with the responsibilities of manhood ; the little sister carries her keys about, and scolds the maids vrith all the semblance of maternal rigour. Would that these liquid blue eyes had a more laughing look, and that pretty mouth could open to joyous laughter ! With aU these drawbacks, it is still a country that I love to live in, and should leave with regret ; besides that, I have as yet seen but little of it, and its least remarkable parts. Whither we go hence, and when, are points that I cannot inform you on. I am not sure, indeed, if any determination on the subject has been come to. Mamma and Mary Anne seem most eager for Eome and Naples ; but though I should anticipate a world of delight and interest in these cities, I am disposed to think that they would prove far too expensive — at least with our present tastes and habits. Wherever my destiny, however, I shall not cease to remember my dear Governess, nor to convey to her, in all the frankness of my affection, every thought and feeling of her sincerely attached Caeolike Dodd. THE DODD TAMILT ABEOAD. 413 LETTER XLVI. MBS. SOSD TO MBS. MABT OALLAGHEB, BODSBOBOTTGH. Mt beae Molly, It's well I ever got your last letter, for it seems there's four places called Ereyburg, and they tried the three ■wrong ones first, and I believe they opened and read it everywhere it stopped. " Much good may it do them," says I, " if they did !" They.know at least the price of wool in Kinnegad, and what boneens is bringing in BaUinasloe, not to mention the news you teU of Betty "Walsh ! I thought I cau- tioned you before not to write anything like a secret when the letter came through a foreign post,. seeing that the Police reads everything, and if there's a word against themselves, you're ordered over the frontier in sis hours. That's Liberty, my dear ! But that is not the worst of it, for nobody wants these dirty spalpeens to read about their private affairs, nor to know the secrets of their families. I must say, you are very unguarded in. this respect, and poor Betty's mishap is now known to the Emperor of Prussia aiid the King of Sweden, just as well as to Eather Luke and the Coadjutor ; and as they say that these Courts are always exchanging gossip with each other, it will be back in England by the time this reaches you! Let it be a caution to you in future, or, if you must aUude to these events, do it in a way that can't be understood, as you may remark they do in the newspapers. I wish you wouldn't be tormenting me about coming home and living among my own people, as you caU. it. Let them pay up the arrears first, MoUy, before they think of establishing any claim of the kind on your humble servant. But the fact is, my dear, the longer you live abroad, the more you like it ; and going back to the strict rules and habits of England, after it, is for aU the world like putting on a strait-waistcoat. If you only heard foreigners the way they talk of us, and we aU the while thinking ourselves the very pink of the creation ! But of all the things they're most severe upon is Sunday. The manner we pass the day, according to their notions, is downright barbarism. No diversion of any kind, no dancing, nor theatres; shops shut up, and nothing legal but intoxication. I always tell them that the fault isn't ours, that it's the Protestants that do these 414 THE DOBD TAMILY AEEOJJJ. things ; for, as Father Maher says, " They'd put a bit of crape oyer the blessed sun if they could." But between ourselves, Molly, even we Catholics are greatly behind the foreigners on all matters of civUi- sation. It may be out of fear of the others, but really we don't enjoy ourselves at all like the French or the Germans. Even in the little place I'm writing now, there's more amusement than in a big city at home ; and if there's anything I'm convinced of at aU, MoUy, it's this : that there is no keeping people out of great wickedness except hy employ- ing them in small sias ; and, let me tell you, there's not a Political BcffittomiBt that ever I heard of has hit upon the secret. We are all ia good health, and except that K. L is in one of his habitual moods of discontent and grumbling, there's not anything particular the matter with us. Indeed, if it wasn't for his natural perverseness of disposition, he oughtn't to be cross and disagreeable, for dear James has just been appointed to an elegant situation, on what they call the " Diplomatic Service." "When the letter came first, I was almost off ia a faiut. I didn't know where it might be they might be sending the poor child — perhaps to Great Carey-o, or the Hymenieal Mountains of India ; but Lord George says that it's a.t one o£ the great Courts of Europe he's sure to be ;. and, indeed, with his figure and advantages, that's the very tlnng to suit him. He's a pietiuxe of a young man, and the very image of poor Tom M'Carthy, that was shot at BaJlyhealey the year of the great frost. If he doesn't make a great match I'm surprised aib it ; and the young ladies must be mighty diflferent in their notions from what I remember them, besides. Getting him ready and fitting him out has kept us here ; for whenever there's a call upon E. L's right-hand pocket, he buttons up the left at once ; so that, till James is fairly off, there's no hope for us of getting, away from this. That once done, however, I'm determined to pass the winter in Italy. As Lord George says, coming abroad and not crossing the Alps, is like going to a dinner- party and getting up after the " roast" — " Tou have all the solids of the entertainment, but none of the light and elegant trifles that aid digestion, and engage the imagination." It's a beautiful simiLe, MoUy, and very true besides ; for, after all, the heart req^uires more than mere material enjoyments ! You're maybe surprised to hear that Lord G. is back here; and so was I to see him. "What his intentions are, I'm unable to say ; but it's surely Mary Anne at all events ; and as she knows the world well, I'm very easy in my mind about her. Aa I told K. I. last night — " Abuse the Contiaent as you like, K. I., waste sill your bad THE DODD FAMLLT ABEOAB. 415 worda about the cookery, and the morals^ and the light •wines and ■women, but there's one thing you can't deny to it — there's no falMng in love abroad, that I maintain !" And when you come to think of it, I believe that's the real evil of Ireland ! Everybody there falls in love, and the more surely when they haven't a sixpence to marry on 1 All the young Lawyers without briefs — all the young Doctors in Dispensaries — every marching Lieutenant living on his pay — every young Curate with seventy pounds a year — ^in fiict, Molly, every case of hopeless poverty — all -what the newspapers call heartrending distress — is sure to have a sweetheart! "When you think of the misery that brings on a single family, you may imagine the ruin that it entails on a whole country. And I don't speak in ignorance, Mrs. GraUagher ; I've lived to see the misery of even a tincture of love in my own unfortunate fate. Not that indeed I ever went far in my feelings towards K. I., but my youth and inexperience carried me away ; and see where they've left me ! Now that's an error nobody commits abroad ; and as to any one being married according to their inclination, it's quite unheard of; and if they have less love, they have fewer disappointments, and that same is something ! Talking of marriage brings me to Bettf — ^I suppose I mustn't say Betty Cobb, now that she calls herseK the Prau Taddey. Hasn't she made a nice business of it ? " They're fighting," as K. I. says, " like man and wife, already !" The creature is only half human ; and when he has gorged himself with meat and drink, he sometimes sleeps for twenty-four, or maybe thirty hours, and if there's not. something ready for him when he wakes up, his passion is dreadfol. I'm afraid of my life lest K. I. should see the bill for his food, and told the Landlord only to put down his four regular meals, and that I'd pay the rest, which I have managed to do, up to this, by disposing of K. I.'s wearing apparel. And would you believe it, that the beast has already eaten a brown surtout, two waistcoats, and three pair of kerseymere shorts and gaiters, not to say a spencer that he had for his lunch, and a Mackintosh cape that he took the other night before going to bed ! Betty is always crying from his bad usage, and con- sequently of no earthly use to any one ; but if a word is said against him she flies out in a rage, and there's no standing her tongue ! Maybe, however, it's all for the best ; for without a little excite- ment to my nervous system, I'd have found this place very dull. Doctor Morgan Moore, that knew the M'Carthy constitution better than any one living, used to say, " Miss Jemima requires movement and animation ;" and, indeed, I never knew any place agree with me like the " Sheds" of Clontarf. 416 THE DOBD TAMILT ABEOAB. Mary Anne keeps telling me that this is now quite viilgar, and that your people of first fashion are never pleased with anybody, or anything ; and whenever a place, or a party, or even an individual is peculiarly tiresome, she says, "Be sure, then, that it's quite the mode." That is possibly the reason why Lord George reconimends us passing a few weeks on the Lake of Comus ; and if it's the right thing to do I'm ready and willing ; but I own to you, MoUy, I'd like a little sociality, if it was only for a change. At any rate, Comus is in Italy ; and if we once get there, it will go far with me if I don't see the Pope. I'm obliged to be brief this time, for the post closes here whenever the Postmaster goes to dinner ; and to-day I'm told he dines early. I'll vreite you, however, a fuU and true account of us all next week, till when, believe me your ever affectionate and attached friend, Jemima Dobd. P.S. — ^Mary Anne has just reconciled me to the notion of Comus. It is really the most aristocratic place in Europe, and she remarks that it is exactly the spot to make excellent acquaintances in for the ensuing winter ; for you see, MoUy, that is really what one requires in summer and autumn, and the English that live much abroad study this point greatly. But, indeed, there's a wonderful deal to be learned before one can say that they know Life on the Continent ; and the more I think of it, the less am I surprised at the mistakes and blunders of our travelling countrymen — errors, I am proud to say, that we have escaped up to this. THE DODD TAMILT ABEOAD. LETTEE XLVII. 417 KBNNT JAMES DODD TO THOMAS PUKCELL, ESQ., OF THE GEANOE, BRUEF. Bregenz. Mt deae Tom, AiTHoro-H it is improbable I shall be able to despatch this by the post of to-day, I take the opportunity of a few moments of domestic peace to answer your last — I wish I could say — agreeable letter. It is not that your iatentions are not everythiag that consists with rec- titude and honour, or that your sentiments are not always those of a right-minded man, but I beg to observe to you, Tom PurceU, in all the candour of a five-and-forty years' friendship, that you have about the same knowledge of life and the world that a toad has of Lord Eosse's telescope. We have come abroad for an object, which, whether attaiaable or not, is not now the question ; but if there be any prospect whatever of realising it — confound the phrase, but I have no other at hand — is surely by an ample and liberal style of living, such as shall place us on a footing of equality with the best society, and make the Dodds eligible anyvrhere. I suppose you admit that much. I take it for granted that even bucolic dulness is capable of going so far. Well, then, what do you mean by your incessant appeals to "retrenchment" and "economy?" Don't you see that you make yourself just as preposterous as Cobden, when he says, cut down the estimates, reduce the navy, and dismiss your soldiers, but stUl be a first-rate power. Tie your hands behind your back, but cry out, " Beware of me, for I'm dreadful when I'm angry." Tou quote me against myself; you bring up my old letters, like Hansard, against me, and say that all our attempts have been failures j but without calling you to order for referring to " what passed in. another place," I wiU reply to you on your own grounds. If we have failed, it has been because our resources did not admit of our maintaining to the end what we had begun in splendour — that our means feU short of our requirements — that, in fact, with a well-chosen position and picked troops, we lost the battle only for want of ammu- nitioUj having fired away aU our powder in the beginning of the en- gagement. Whose fault was thai, I beg to ask ? Can the Com- missary-General PurceU come clear out of that charge ? 2e 418 THE BODD FAMILY" ABBO AD. I know your hair-splitting habit — I at once anticipate your reply. An. Agent and a Commissary are two very different tilings ! And just as flatly I tell you, you are wrong, and that, rightly considered, the duties of both are precisely analogous, and that a General com- mandiag an army, and an Irish Landlord travelUng on the Contiaent, present a vast number of points of similitude and resemblance. In the one case as ia the other, supplies are indispensable — come what will, the forces must be fed, and if it would be absurd for the General to halt in his march and inquire into aU the difiB.culties of providing stores; it would be equally preposterous for the Iiandlord to arrest his career by going into every petty grievance of his tenantry, and' entering into a minute examination of the state of every cottier on his land. Send the rations, Tom, and I'U answer for the campaign. I don't mean to say that there are not some hardships attendant upon thisi I know that to raise contributions an occasional severity must be employed'; but is the fate of a great engagement" to be jeopardised for the sake 'of such considerations ? No, no, Tom. Even your spirit wiU recoil from such an admission as this !' It is only fair to mention that l&eBe are not merely my own senti- ments. Lord George Tiverton, to whom I happened to show your letter, was really shocked at the contents. I don't wish to offlend you, Tom, but the expression he used was, " It is fortunate for your friend Purcell that he is not my Agent." I wiU not repeat what he said about the management of English landed property, but it is obvious that our system is not their system, and that such a thing as a Landlord in my position is actually unheard of.' " If Ireiand were subject to earthquakes," said he, "if the arable land were now and then covered over ten feet deep with lava, I could understand your Agenf s arguments ; but wanting these causes, thej are downright riddles to me." He was most anxious to obtain possession of your letter ; and I learned from Mary Anne that he really meant to use it in the House, and show you up bodily as one of the prominent causes of Irish misery. I have saved you from this exposure, but I really cannot spare you some of the' strictures your conduct calls for. I must also observe to you that there is, what the Duke used to call, " a terrible sameness " a'bout your letters. The potatoes are always going to rot, the people always going to leave. It rains for ten weeks at a time, and if you have three fine days you cry out that the country is ruined by drought. Just for sake of a little variety, can't you take a prosperous tone fbr once instead of " drawing my atten- tion," as you superciliously phrase it, to the newspaper announcemBnt THE DODD EiLSmT ABKOAD. 41ff about " George Dayis and other petitioners, and the lands of Bally- clough, KiltiiDiaon,. and Knocknaslattery, being part of the Estate of James Kenny Dodd, Esq., of Dodsborough.' ' I hanre abeady giyen you my opinion about that Encumbered Estates Court, and I see no reason for changing it. Confiscation is a nuld name for its operation. "What Ireland really wanted wae a Loam Fund — a good round sum, say three and, a half or four millions, lent out on reasonable secusrity, but free from aU embarrasBing conditions. Compel every proprietor to plant so much potatoes for the use of the poor, and get rid of those expensive' absurdities called " Unions," with all the laay, indolent officials ; do that, and we might have a chance of prospering once more. It makes me actually sick to hear you, an Irishman bom and bred, repeating all that English balderdash about " a cheap' and indis- putable title," and so forth. Do you remember about fouri-and-twenty years ago, Tom, when I wanted to breach a place for a window in part of the old house at Dodsborough, and Hackett warned me that if I touched a stone of it I'd maybe have the whole edifice come tumbling about my ears. Don't you see the analogy between that and our condition as Landlords, and that our real security lay in the fact that nobody could dare to breach us ? Meddle with us once, and who could teU where the ruin would fall ! So long as the system lasted we were safei Tom. Now, your Encumbered Court, with its Parliamentary title, has upset all that security; and that's the reason of aU the distress and misfortune that have overtaken us. 1 think, after the- specimen of my opinions, I'U hear no more of your reproaches about my " growing indifference to home topics," my " apparent apathy regarding Ireland," and other similar reflectiona in your last letter. Eorget my country, indeed ! does a man ever forget the eantharides when he has a blister on his back. If I'm warm, I'm sorry for it; but it's your own fault, Tom PureeU. Tou know me since I was a ehUd', and understand my temper well ; and whatever it was once, it hasn't improved by conjugai felicity. And now for the Home Office. James started last night for Lon- don^, to go through whatever formalities there may be before recraving his appointment. "What it is to be, or where, I have not an idea ; but I cling to the hope that when they see the lad, and discover his utter ignorance on all subjects, it vriU be something very hmnble, and not requiring a sixpence from me. AU that 1 have seen of the world shows me that the higher you look for your children, the more they^ cost_'you ; and for that reason, if I had my choice, I'd raifeher have him a Cruager than in the Grenadier Guards. Even' as it is the 2e2 420 THE DODD PAMILT ABBOAB. outfit for this journey has run away with no small share of your late remittance ; and now that we have come to the end of the M'Carthy legacy— the last fifty was " appropriated" by James before starting — it wiU require all the financial siUl you can command to furnish me with sufficient means for our new campaign. Yes, Tom, we are going to Italy. I have discussed tbe matter so long, and so fully argued it in every shape, artistical, philosophical, economical, and moral, that I verily believe that our dialogues would famish a very respectable manual to Trans- Alpine travellers ; and if I am not a convert to the views of my opponents, I am so far van- quished in the controversy as to give in. Lord George put the matter, I must say, very strongly before me. " To turn your steps homeward from the Alps," said he, " is Uke the act of a man who, having dressed for an evening party, and ascended the stairs, wheels round at the door of the drawing-room, and quit* the house. All your previous knowledge of the Continent, so costly and so difficult to attain, is about, at length, to become profitable ; that insight into foreign life and habits, which you have arrived at by study and; observation, is now about to be available. Italy is essen- tially the land of taste, elegance, and refinement ; and there, will all the varied gifts and acquirements of your accomplished family be ap- preciated." Besides this, Tom, he showed me that the." Snobs," as he politely designated them, are aU. " Cis- Alpine ;" strictly confining themselves to the Ehine and Switzerland, and never descending the southern slopes of the Alps. According to his account, therefore, the climate of Italy is not more marked by superiority than the tone of its society. There, all is polished, elegant, and refined ; and if the men " be not all brave, and the women all virtuous," it is because " their moral standard is one more in accordance with the ancient traditions, the temper, and the instincts of the people." I quote you his words here, because very possibly they may be more intelligible to you than to myself. At all events, one thing is quite clear — we, ought to go and judge for ourselves, and to this resolve have we come. Tiverton — without whom we should be actually helpless — has arranged the whole afiair, and, really with a regard to economy that, consider- ing his habits and his station, can only be attributed to a downright feeling of friendship for us. By a mere accident he hit upon a Villa at Comp, for a mere trifle — he won't tell me the sum, but he calls it a " nothing "^and now he has, vrith his habitual good luck, chanced upon a return carriage goiagto Milan, the di'iver of which horses our carriage, and takes the servants with him, for very little more than the keep of his beasts on the road. This piece of intelligence will THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAD. 421 tickle every stingy fibre in your economical old heart, and at last shall I know you to mutter, " K. I. is doing the prudent thing." Tiverton himself says, " It's not exactly the most elegant- mode of travelling ; but as the season is early, and the Splugen a pass seldom traversed, we shall slip down to Como unobserved, and save some forty or fifty ' Naps.,' without any one being the wiser." Mrs. D: would of course object if she had the faintest suspicion that it was inexpensive; but " my Lord," who seems to read her like a book, has told her that it is the very mode in which all the Aristocracy travel, and that by a happy piece of fortune we have secured the Vetturino that took Prince Albert to Eome, and the Empress of Eussia to Palermo ! He has, or he is to find, four horses for our coach, and three for his own ; we are to take the charge of bridges, barriers, rafts, and " re- mounts," and give him besides five Napoleons per diem, and a "Buona Mano," or gratuity, of three more, if satisfied, at the end of the journey. Now, nothing can be more economical than this ; for we are a large party, and with luggage enough to flU a ship's jolly- boat. Ton see, therefore, what it is to have a shrewd and intelligent friend. Tou and I might have walked the main street of Bregenz till our shoes were thin, before we discovered that the word " Gele- genheit," chalked up on the back-leather of an old caleche, meant " A return conveniency to be had cheap." The word is a German one, and means " Opportunity ;" and ah, my dear Tom, into what a strange channel does it entice one's thoughts ! "What curious reflections come across the mind, as we thiak of aU our real Opportunities in this world, and how little we did of them. Not but there might be a debit side to the account, too, and that some two or three may have escaped us, that it was just as well we let pass ! We intended to have left this to-morrow, but Mrs. D. won't travel on aPriday. " It's an unlucky day," she says, and maybe she's right. If I don't mistake greatly, it was on a Priday I was married, but of course this is a rerainiscence I keep to myself. This reminds me of the question in your postscript, and to which I reply : Not a bit of it, nothing of the kind. So far as I see, Tiverton feels a strong attach- ment to James, but never even notices the girls. I ought to add, that this is not Mrs. D.'s opinion ; and she is always flouncing into my dressing-room, with a new discovery of a look that he gave Mary Anne, or a whisper that he dropped into Gary's ear. Mothers would be a grand element in a Detective Police, if they didn't now and then see more than was in sight ; but that's their failing, Tom. The same generous zeal which they employ in magnifying their husband's faults. 422 THE BODB BAMILT A3E0AII. Tielps thein to many anoibbier exaggeration. Now Mrs. 33. is wliaitslie calls fially persuaded — in otter words, she has some shadowy sus- picions—that Lord George has formed a Strang attaehment to one or other of her daughters, the only doubtful point heing -whioh of -tiiem is to be " my liady." Shall I (Confess to you, that I raths: cherish the notion than fleek to disabuse her of it, and for this simple reason : Whenever she is in full cry after grandeur, whether in the shape of an acquaintance, an inTitation, or a match for the girk, she usually gives me a little peace and quietness. The Peerage, " Grod bless our old NobiHty," acts lite an anodyne on her. I give you, thanefore, both sides of ifche question, repeating once more my own conviction, that Lord G. has no eerious intentioiiB, to nse "the phrase maternal, whatever. And now to your second query : If not, is it prudent to encourage his intimacy ? Why, Tom Puroell, just bestihink you for a moment, and see to what a strange .condition wotdd your theciry, if acted on, resolve all the inhabitants of the globe. Into one or other category they must go infallibly. " Either they want to marry one of the Dodds, or they don't." Now, though the fact is palpable enough, it is for all purposes of action a most embarrassing one, and. if I proceed to make use of it, I shall either be doomed to very tiresome aoquaintanees, or a life of utter solitude and desertion. Can't a man like your society, your dinnesrs, jour port, your jokes, and your cigars, but he must perforce marry one of your daughters ! Is your house to be l&e a rat-trap, and if a fellow puts his head in must he be caught ! I don't like the notion at all ; and not the less, that it rather throws a slight over certain convivial gifts and agreeable qualities fcxr wMch, once upon a time at least, I used to have some reputation. As to Tiverton, I like him, and I have a notion that he likes me. We suit each other as well as it is fpossible for two men bred, born, and brought np so perfectly unlike. We both have seen a great deal of the world, or rather of two worlds, for Ms is not mine. At the same time, eveay remark he makes — and all his observations show me that mankind is precisely the same thing everywhewe, and that it is exactly with the same interests, the same impulses, and the same j)assions, my Lord bets his thousands at " Crocky's," that BiJly Healey, or Father Tom, ventures his half-crown at the Pig and Pincers, in Bruff. I used to think that what with races, elections, horse-fairs, and the like, I had seen my share of rascality or roguery; but, compared to my Lord's experiences, I might be a babe in the nursery. There isn't a dodge — not a piece of knavery that was ever invented, he doesn't know. Trickery ,and deceptJEBi of every kirtH THE DQDD I'AMIIT ABEOiJ). 423 are .all familiar to him, .and, as he says himself, he only -wants a few- weeks in a -oonTlct settlement -fco put the finish on his education. Tou'd fancy, from what I say, that he must be a cdd, misamtkropic, Buspectful fellow, with an iLL-natured temper, and a gloomy view of everybody and everything. !Far from it ; his whole theory of life is benevolent ; and his maxim, to believe every one honourable, trust- worfciry, and amiable. I see -the half-cynical smile -with which you listen to this, and I already know the remark that trembles on your lip. Tou -would say, that such a code cuts both ways, and that a man •who pronounces so favourably of his fellows almost secures thereby a merciful verdict on himself. In fact, that he who passes base money can scarcely refuse, now and then, to accept a bad halfpenny in change. Well, Tom, I'U not argue the case with you, for if not jayself a dis- ciple of this creed, I have learned to think that there are very few in- deed who are privileged to play censor upon their acquaintances, -and that there is always the chance that when you are occupied looking at your neighbour drifting on a lee shore, you may bump on a a?ock yourself. Tou said in your last that you thought me more lax than I used to be about right and wrong, " less straightlaced," you were pdifceienough to call it ; and with an equal urbanity you ascribed this change in me to the habits of the Continent. I am proud to say " Gruilty" to the charge, and I believe you are right as to the cause. Tes, Tom, .the tone of society abroad is eminently merciful, and it must needs be a bad case where there are no attenuating circumstances. So much the worse, say you ; where vice is leniently looked on, it wiU be sure to flourish. To which I answer : Show me where it does not ! Is it in the modern Babylon, is it in moral Scotland, or drab-coloured Wash- ington ? On my conscience, I don't believe there is more of -wicked- ness in a foreign city than a home one ; the essential difference being that we do -wrong -with a consciousness of our immorality ; whereas the foreigner has a strong impression that after all It's only a passing frailty, and that human nature was not ever intended to be perfect. Which system tends most to corrupt a people, and which creates more hopeless sinners I leave to you, and others as fond of such specu- lations, to ponder over. Another charge — -for your letter has as many counts as an indict- ment — another you make against me is, that I seem as if I was begin- ning to like — or as you modestly phrase it — as if I was getting more reconciled to the Continent. Maybe I am, now that I have learned how to qualify the Ught -wines -with a little brandy, and to make my dinner of the eight or nine, instead of the two-and-thirty dishes they ,424 THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAD. serve up to you ; and since I have trained myself to walk the length of a street, in rain or sunshine, vi^ithout my hat, and have attained to the names of the cards at whist in a foreign tongue, I believe I do feel more at home here than at first ; hut still I am far, very far, in arrear of the knowledge that a man bred and born abroad woidd possess at my age. To begin, Tom : He would be a perfect cook ; you couldn't put a clove of garlic too little, or an oHve too much, without his de- tecting it in the dish. Secondly, he would be curious in snuffs, and a dead hand at dominoes ; then he would be deep in the private histo- ries of the Ballet, and tell you the various qualities of short-draperied damsels that had figured on the boards for the last thirty years. These, and such like, would be the consolations of his declining years ; and of these I know absolutely next to nothing. Who knows, however, but I may improve ? The world is a wonderful schoolmaster, and if Mrs. D. is to be believed, I am an apt scholar whenever the study is of an equivocal kind. We hope to spend the late autumn at Como, and then step down into some of the cities of the South for the winter months. The ap- proved plan is Florence till about the middle of January, Home till the begiiming of Lent, then Naples till the Holy Week, whence back again for the ceremonies. After that, northward wherever you please. All this sounds like a good deal of locoinotion, and consequently of expense, but Lord Gr. says, " Just leave it to me. I'U be your Courier ;" and as he not only performs that function, but unites with it that of Banker — he can get anything discounted at any moment — I am little disposed to depose him from his office. Now no more complaints that I have not replied to you about this, that, and t'other, not informed you about our future movements, nor given you any hint as to our plans : you know everything about us, at least so far as it is known to your Very sincere friend, KENsrr I. DoDB. As I mentioned in the beginning, I am too late for the post, so I'U keep this open if anything should occur to me before the next maU. The Inn. Splugen, Monday. I thought this was already far on its way to you ; but to my great surprise, on opening my writing-desk this morning, I discovered it there still. The truth is, I grow more absent, and what the Frfench call " distracted," every day ; and it frequently happens that I forget some infernal bill or other, till the fellow knocks at the door with THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAD. 425 " the notice." Here we are, at a little Inn on the very top of the Alps. "We arrived yesterday, and, to our utter astonishment, found ourselves suddenly in a land of snow and icebergs. The whole way from Bregenz the season was a mellow autumn : some of the com was still standing, but most was cut, and the cattle turned out over the stubble : the trees were in full leaf, and the mountain rivulets were clear and sparkling, for no rain had fallen for some time back. It was a picturesque road, and fuU of interest in many ways. From Coire we made a little excursion across the Ehine to a place called Eagatz — a kind of summer resort for visitors who come to bathe and drink the waters of Pfefiers, one of the most extraordi- nary sights I ever beheld. These Baths are built in a cleft of the mountain, about a thousand feet in depth, and scarcely thirty wide in many parts : the sides of the precipices are straight as a wall, and only admit of a gleam of the sun when perfectly vertical. The gloom and solemnity of the spot, its death-like stillness and shade, even at noonday, are terribly oppressive. Nor is the sadness dispelled by the living objects of the picture! Swiss, Germans, French, and Italians, swathed in flannel dressing-gowns and white dimity perements, with nightcaps and slippers, steal along the gloomy corridors and the gloomier alleys, pale, careworn, and cadaverous. They come here for health, and their whole conversa- tion is sickness. Now, however consoling it may be to an invalid to find a recipient of his sorrows, the price of listening in turn is a tremendous infliction. Nor is the character of the scene such as would probably suggest agreeable reflections : had it been the portico to the nameless locality itself, it could not possibly be more dreary and sorrow-stricken. Now, whatever virtues the waters possess, is surely antagonised by all this agency of gloom and depression ; and except it be as a preparation for leaving the world without regret, this place seems to be marvellously iU adapted for its object. It appears to me, however, that foreigners run into the greatest ex- tremes in these matters ; a sick man must either Uve in a perpetual Vauxhall of fireworks, music, dancing, dining, and gambling, as at Baden, or be condemned to the worse than Penitentiary diet and prison discipline of Pfefiers ! Surely there must be some halting- place between the Ball-room and the Cloister, or some compromise of costume between sUk stockings and bare feet! But really, to a thinking, reasonable being, it appears very distressing that you must either dance out of the world to Strauss's music, or hobble miserably out of life to the sound of the falling waters of Pfefiers. Does it not sound also very oddly to our Free-trade notions of 426 THE DODD lAMIiLT ABEOAD. malady, that tte Doctor of these places is appointed 'by the State; :that without his sanction and opinion of your ease, you must neither bathe nor drink : that no matter how satisfied you may be with your own Physician, nor how little to your liking the Government MedioB, lie has the last word on the isubjeet of your disorder, and without his .wand the pool is never to be stirred in your behalf. Tou don't quite approve of this, Tom — neither do I. The State has no more a right to choose my laoefear than to select a Wife for me. If there be any- thimg ^essentially a man's own prerogative, it is his — what Bhaill I call it F— Jiis caprice about his medical adviser. 'One man Ukes a grave, .aententiouB, silently-disposed fellow, who feek his pulse, shakes his head, takes his fee, and departs, with scarcely more than a muttered monosyUablei; another piieferB the sympathetic Doctor, that goes half-and-half in all his sufieriags, lies awake at night thinking of his case, and seems to rest his own hopes of future bliss in bfe on curing him. As for myself, I lean to the fellow that, no matter what ails me, is sure to make me pass a pleasant half hour ; that has a lively way of laughing down aU my unpleasant symptoms, and is certain to have a droll story about a patient that he is just come fi-om. That's the man for my money ; .and I wish you could teU me where a man gets as good value as sfor the guinea he gives to one of these. Kow, i?om what I have seen of the Continent, this is an order of which they have no representative. All the professional classes, but more essentially the medical, are taken from an inferior grade in sodeiy, neither brought up in intercourse with the polite world, nor ever admitted to it afterwards. The consequence is, that your Doctor comes to visit you as your Shoemaker to .measure you for shoes, and it would be deemed as a great Uberly were he to talk of anything but your complaint, as for Crispin to impart his sentiments about Eussia or the poUcy of Louis ^Napoleon. I don't like the system, and I am convinced it doesn't work weU, If I know anything of Jiuman nature, too, it is this — that nobody tells the whole truth to his Physician till he can't help it. No, Tom, it only comes out after a, long cross-examination,, great patience, and a deal of dodging.; and for these you must have no vulgarly-minded, common-place, under- bred fellow, but a consummate man of the world, who knows when you are bamboozling him, and when fencing him off with a sham. He must be able to use aU the arts of a Priest ra the confessional, and an Advocate in a trial, with a few more of his own not known to either, to extort your secret from you ; and I am sure that a man of vulgar habits and low associations is not the best adapted for this. I wanted to stop and dine with this lugubrious company. I was THE JDODD T'A'M-TT.T AJSEQAB. GuidouB to see -what they ate, and whether their natures attained any social expansion under the genial influences of food and drink ; but Mrs. D. wouldn't hear of it. She had detected, she said, an " impu- dent hussy with hlack eyes " hestowing suspicious glances at your humble servant. I thought that she was getting out of these fancies — I fondly hoped that a little peace on these subjects would in a degree reconcile me to many of the discomforts of old age ; but, aJas:! the grey hairs and the stiff ankles have come, and no writ of ease against conjugal jealwusies. Away we came, fresh and festing, and as there was nothing to be had at Eagatz, we were obliged to go on to Coire before we got supper ; and if you only knew what it is to amve at one of these foreign Inns after the hour of the ordinary meals, you'd confess there was little risk of our isommifcting an excess. I own to you, Tom, that the excursion scarcely deserved to be called a pleasant one. Patigue, disappointment, and hunger, are bub ill antagonised by an outbreak of temper; and Mrs. D, lightened the way homeward by a homily on fidelity that would have made Don Juan appear deserving of Tjeing canonised as a Saint ! I must also observe, that Tivertoa's conduct on this occasion was the very reverse of what I expected from him. A shiiewd, keen fellow like him could not but know in his heart that Mrs. D.'.s suspicions were only nonsense and absurdity ; and yet what did he do but play, shocked and horrifted, agreed completely with every ridiculous notion of my wife, and actually went so far as to appeal to me, as a father, against myself as a profligate. I almost choked with passion ; and if it was not that we were imder obHgations to Mm about James's business, I'm not certain I should not have thrown him out of the coach. I wish to the ■Saints that the woman would take to any other line of suspicion, even for the sake of variety — fancy me an incurable drunkard, a gambler, an uncertified bankrupt, or a forger. I'm not certain if I would not accept the charge of a transportable felony rather than be regarded as the sworn enemy of youth .and virtue, and the snake in the grass to all unprotected females. ■EVom Coire we travelled on to Eeichenau, a pretty village at the foot of the Alps, watered by the Ehine, which is there a very inconsiderable stream, and with as little promise of fafcure greatness as any Barrister of six years' standing you please to mention. There is a neat-looking Chateau, which stands on a small terrace above the river here, not with- out a certain interest attached to it. It was here that Louis Philippe, then Duke of Orleans, taught mathematics in the humble capacity of usher to a school. Just fmcy that deep politician — the wiliest head 428 THE DODD TAMILT ABEOAD. ia all Europe, witli the largest views of statecraft, and the most con- summate knowledge of men — ^instilling angles and triangles into im- practicable numskuUs, and crossing the Asses' bridge ten times a day with lame and crippled intellects. It would be curious to know what views of mankind, what studies of Ufe, he made during this period. Such a man was not made to suffer any opportunity, no matter how inconsiderable in itself, to escape him without profiting ; and it may be easily believed that in the monarchy of a school he might have meditated over the rule of larger masses. History can scarcely present greater changes of fortune than those that have befallen that family, which is the more sing^ar, since they have been brought about neither by great talents nor great crimes. The Orleans family was more remarkable for the qualities which shine in the middle ranks of life than either for any towering genius or any unscrupulous ambition. Their strength was essentially in this mediocrity, and it was a momentary forgetfulness of that same strong- hold — by the Spanish marriage — that cost the King his throne. The truth was, Tom, that the nation never liked us — they hated England just as they hated it at Cressy, at Blenheim, and at Waterloo, and will hate it, notwithstanding your great Industrial gatherings, to the end of time. They were much dissatisfied with Louis Philippe's policy of an English alliance; they deemed it dis- advaijtageous, costly, and humiliating ; but that it should be broken up and destroyed for an object of mere family, for a piece of dynastic ambition, was a gross outrage and affront to the spirit of national pride. It was the sentiment of insulted honour that leagued the followers of the Orleans branch with the Legitimists and the Eepub- licans, and formed that terrible alliance that extended from St. An- toine to the Eaubourg St. G-ermain, and included every one from the Peer to the common Labourer. AU this prosing about politics will never take us over the Alps ; and, indeed, so far as I can see, there is small prospect of that event just now ; for it has been snowing smartly all night, with a strong Bouthemly wind, which they say always leaves heavy drifts in dif- ferent parts of the mountain. "We are cooped up here in a curious, straggling kind of an Inn, that gradually dwindles away into a bam, a stable, and a great shed, filled with disabled diligences and smashed old sledges — an incurable asylum for diseased conveyances. The house stands in a cleft of the hills ; but from the windows you can see the zig-zag road that ascends for miles in front, and which now is only marked out by long poles, THE BOBD PAMIIT ABBOAD. 429 already some ten or twelve feet deep ia snow. It is. snow on every side — on the mountains, on the roofs, on the horses that stand shaking their bells at the door ; on the Conducteur that drinks his schnaps; on the Postilion as he lights his pipe. The thin flakes are actually plating his whiskers and moustaches, till he looks like one of the " Old Guard," as we see them in a Melodrama. Tiverton, who conducts all our arrangements, has had a row with our Vetturino, who says that he never contracted to take us over the moimtain in sledges ; and as the carriages cannot run on wheels, here we are discussing the question. There have been three stormy de- bates abeady, and another is to come off this afternoon; meanwhile, the snow is falling heavily, and whatever chance there was of getting forward yesterday, is now ten times less practicable. The Landlord of our, Inn is to be arbiter I understand ; and as he is the pro- prietor of the sledges we shall have to hire, if defeated, vidthout im- pugning in any way the character of Alpine Justice, you can possibly anticipate the verdict. A word upon this Vetturino system ere I leave it — I hope for ever. It is a perfect nuisance from beginning to end. From the moment- you set off with one of these rascals, tiU the hour you arrive at your journey's end, it is plague, squabble, insolence, and torment. They start, at what hour of the morning they please ; they halt where they like, and for as long as they like, invariably too at the worst wayside Inns — away from a town and from all chance of accommodation — since rye-bread and sour wine, with a mess of stewed garlic, will always satisfy them. They rarely drive at fuU five, miles the hour, and walk every inch with an ascent of a foot in a hundred yards. If expostulated with by the wretched traveller, they halt in some public place, and appeal to the bystanders in some dialect unknown to you. The result of which is that a ferocious mob surrounds you, and with invectives, insults, and provocative gestures, assail and outrage you, tiU.it please your tormentor to drive on; which you do at length amidst hooting and uproar that even convicted felons would feel ashamed of. On reaching your Inn at night, they either give such a representa- tion of you as gets you denied admittance at all, or obtain for you the enviable privilege of paying for everything "enMilor." Between: being a Swindler or an Idiot, the chance alone lies for you. Then they refuse to unstrap your luggage ; or if they do so, tie it on again so insecurely that it is sure to drop off next day. I speak not of a running fire of petty annoyances : such as fumigating you with pesti- lent tobacco, nor the blessed enjoyment of that infernal Spitz dog, 430 THE DOBD PAMILT ABEOAD. which standa' all day on the roof, and baaks every mile of the road from Berne to Naples. As to any redress against their insoleneff, misconduct, or extortion, it is utterly hopeless — and for this reason: they are sure to have a hundred petty occasions of rendering smaH- services to the smaller Authorities of every village they frequent. They carry the Judge's Mother for nothing to a watering-place ; or they fetch his Aunt to the market-town ; or they smuggle fep him — or thieve for him — something that is oniyto be had over the frontier. Yery probably, too, on the very morning of your appeal, you have kicked the same Judge's brother, he being the waiter of your Inn, and haiviiQg givem you bad money in change — at all events, you are 3iot Kkely ever to be- met with again ; the Vetturino is certain to ■come back within the year ; and, finally, you are sure to have money, and be able to pay — so that, as the Irish foreman said, as the reason for awarding heavy damages against, an llnglishman, "'It is a fine thing to bring so much money into the country." Take my word for it, Tom, the system is a perfect disgust from' l)eguining to end, and even its cheapness! only a sham; fer your economy is more than counterbalanced by EoHce fees, fines', and im^- positions, delays, remounts, buUs, and starved donkeys, paid for at a price they would not bring if sold at a market. Post, if you can afibrd it ; take^ the public conveyancesi if you must ;. but for the sake of all that is decent and respectable — all that consists with comfort and self-respect — avoid the Vetturino! I know that a contrary ■opinion has a certain prevalence in the world — I am quite aware that these rascals have their advocates — and no bad ones either — since they are women. I have witnessed more than one Guiseppe, or Antonio, with a beard, whiskers, and general " get up;" that would have passed muster in a comic opera ; and on looking at the fellow's book of certificates i(for such as these always have a bound volume, smartly enclosed ia a neat case), I have found that " Mrs. Miles Dalrymple and daughters made the journey from Milan to Ais les Bains with IVancesco Bir- l)ante, and found him excessively attentive, civil, and obliging ; fuU of vairied information about the road, and quite a treasure to ladies travelling alone." Another of these villains is styled " quite an agree- able companion ;" one was called " charming," and I found that Miss Matilda Somers, of Queen's-road, Old Birompton, pronounces Luigi Balderdasci, " although in the humble rank of a Vetturino, an accom- plished gentleman." I know, therefore, how inefiectual would it be for Eenny Dodd to enter the lists against such odds, and it iff only under the seal of secrecy that I dare to mutter them. The widows THE BODD PAMIir ABEOAD. 431 and the fetherless form a strong category in foreign; travel; dark dresses and demure looks are very vagrant in their habits, and I am not going to oppose myself single-handed to such an united force. But to you, Tom Pureell, I may teH the truth in aU confidence and security. If I was in authority, I'd shave these scoundrels to-morrow. I'd not suffer a moustache, a red sash, nor a hat with a feather amongst them ; and take my word for it, the- panegyrics would be toned dtown, and we'd read much more about the horses than the drivers, and learn how many miles a day they could travel, and not how many sonnets of Petrarch the rascal could repeat. I have lost my John Murray. I forgot it in our retreat from Pfeffers ; so that I dto't remember whether he lauds these feUows or the reverse, butthe chances are it is the former. It is one of the endless delusions travellers fall into, and many's the time I have had to endure a tiresome description of their delightftil Vetturino, that " charming Beppoi 'wtoj ' however he got them,"had a bouquet for each of us every morning at breakfast." If I ever could accomplish the writing of that book I once spoke to you about upon the Continent and foreign travels, I'd devote a whole chapter to these feUows ; and more than that, Tom, I'd have an Appendix — a book of travels is nothing with- out an Appendix in small print — wherein I'd give a list of aU these scoundrels who have been convicted as bandits, thieves, and petty larceners ; of all their misdeeds against old gentlemen with palsy, and old ladies with "nerves." I'd show them up, not as Heroes but High- waymen ; and take my word for it, I'd be doing good service to the writers of those sharply-formed little paragraphs now so enthusiastic about Giovanni, and so fuU of " grateful recollections" of " poor Guiseppe." I am positively ashamed to say how many of the observations, aye, and of the printed observations of travellers, I have discovered to have their origin in this same class ; and that what the Tourist jotted down as his own remark on Men and Manners, was the stereotyped opinion of these illiterate vagabonds. But as for- Books of Travel, Tom, of aH. the humbugs of a humbugging age, there is nothing can approach them. I have heard many men talk admirably about foreign life and customs. I have never chanced upon one who could WEiTE about them. It is not only that your really smart fellows do not write ; but, that to pronounce authoritatively on a people, one must have a long and intimate acquaintance with them. Now, this very fact alone, to a great degree, invalidates the freshness of obser- vation ; for what we are accustomed to see every day, ceases to strike us as worthy of remark. To the raw Tonriflt, aU is strange, novel, 432 THE DODD FAMILY ABBOAK. and surprising ; and if he only record what he sees, he will tell much that everybody knows, but also some things that are not quite so familiar to the multitude. Now, your old resident abroad knows the Continent too well, and too thoroughly, to find any one incident or circumstance peculiar. To take an illustration : A man who had never been at a Play in his Hfe would form a far better conception of what a Theatre was like from hearing the description of one from an intel- ligent child, who had been there once, than from the most laboured criticism; on the acting from an old frequenter of the Pit. Hence the majority of these tours have a certain success at home ; but for the man who comes abroad, and wishes to know something that may aid to guide his steps, form his. opinions, and direct his judgment, believe me, they are not worth a brass farthing. There is this also to be taken into account — that every observer is, more or less, recounting: some trait of his own nature, of his habits, his tastes, and his prejudices ; so that before you can receive his statement, you have to study his disposition.. Take all these adverse and difficult con- ditions into consideration— give a large margin for credulity, and a larger for exaggeration — -bethink you of the embarrassments of a foreign tongue, and then I ask you how much real information you have a right to expect from Journals of the long vacation, or " "Winters" in Italy, or Tyrol Rambles in autumn? I say it in no boastfulness, Tom, nor in any mood of vanity; but if I was some twenty years younger, with a good income, and no encumbrances, well versed in languages, and fairly placed as regards social advantages, that I, myself, could make a very readable volume about foreign hfe, and foreign manners. Tou laugh at the notion of Kenny Dodd on a title-page ; but haven't we one or two of our acquaintances that cut just as ridiculous a figure ? Tiverton has come in to tell me that the judgment of the Court has been given against him, and consequently against us, "in reYet- turino ;" and the award of the Judge is, " That we pay aU the expenses for the journey to Milan, the gratuity — that was only to be given as an evidence of our perfect satisfaction — and anything more that our sense of honour and justice may suggest, as compensation for the loss of time he has sustained in litigating with us." On these con- ditions he is to be free to foUow his road, and we are to remain here till— I wish I could say the time — but, according to present appear- ances, it may be spring. before we get away. "When I tell you that the decision has been given by the Landlord of the Inn, where we must stop — as no other exists within twenty mUes of us — you may guess the animus of the judgment-seat. It requires a great degree THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAD. 433 of self-restraint not to be carried into what the law calls an overt act, by a piece of iniquity like this. I have abstained, by a great effort ; but the struggle has almost given me a fit of apoplexy. Ima- gine the effrontery of the rascal, Tom ; scarcely had he counted over his Napoleons, and made his grin of farewell, than he mounted his box and drove away over the mountain, which had just been declared impassable — a feat witnessed by all of us — in company with the Landlord who had pronounced the verdict against us. I stormed — T: swore. In short, I worked myself into a sharp fit of the gout, which flew from my ankle to my stomach, and very nigh carried me off. A, day of extreme suffering has been succeeded by one of great depres- sion; and here I am now, with the snow still falliug fast; the last Courier who went by, saying, "that all the Inns at Chiavenna were full of people, none of whom would venture to cross the mountain." It appears that there are just two peculiarly unpropitious seasons for the passage — ^when the snow falls first, and when it begins to melt in spring. It is needless to say that we have hit upon one of these, with our habitual good fortune ! Thursday. The Inn, Splugen. Here we are stiU in this blessed place, this being now our seventh day in a hole you wouldn't condemn a dog to live in. How long we might have continued our sojourn it is hard to say, when a mere accident has afforded us the prospect of liberation. It turns out that two families arrived and went forward last night, having only halted to sup and change horses. On inquiry why we couldn't be supposed capable of the same exertion, you'U not believe me when I tell you the answer we got. No, Tom ! The enormous power of lying abroad is clear and clean beyond your conception. It was this, then. We could go when we pleased — it was entirely a caprice of our own that we had not gone before. " How so, may I ask ?" said I, in the meekest of inquiring voices. " Ton wouldn't go like others," ■was the answer. " In what respect — how ?" asked I again. " Oh, your English notions rejected the idea of a sledge. Ton insisted upon going on wheels, and as no wheeled carriage coidd run " Grant me patience, or I'll explode like a shell. My hand shakes, and my temples are throbbing so that I can scarcely write the lines. I made a great effort at a calm and discretionary tone, but it wouldn't do ; a certain fulness about the throat, a general dizziness, and a noise like the sea in my ears, told me that I'd have been behaving basely to the " Gruardian" and the " Equitable Eire and Life" were I to continue the debate. I sat down, and with a sponge and water and loose cravat, I got better. There was considerable confusion in 2f 4S4i O^BJ! SODS FAKILY ABBOAS. mj faculties on my ccHoaing to myself; I had a vague notion of having conducted myself in some most ridiculous and extravagant fashion — having insisted upon the horses being harnessed in some imposslMe mode, or made some demand or other totally impracticable. Cary, like a dear, kind girl as she is, laughed andquizzed me out of my delu- sion, and showed me that it was the cursed imputation of that scoundrel of a Landlord had given this erratic turn to my thoughts. The gout has settled in my left foot, amd I now, with the exception of an occa- sional shoot of pain that I relieve by a shout, feel much better, aad hope soon to be fit for the road. Poor Cary made me laugh by & story she picked up somewhere of a Scotch gentleman who had con- tracted with his Yetturino to be carried from Genoa to Eome and fed on the road — a very common arrangemesnt. The journey was to occupy nine days ; but wishing to secure a splexidid " Euona Mano," the Vetturino drove at a tremendous pace, and actually arrived in Eome on the eighth day, having almost kiUed his horses and exhausted himself. "When he appeared before his traveller, expecting compli- ments on his speed, and a handsome recognition for his zeal, guess his astonishment to bear his self-panegyrics cut short by the pithy remark : " You drove very weU, my Mend ; but we are not going to part just yet — you have stiLL another day to feed me." Tiverton has at length patched up an arrangement with our Land- lord for twelve sledges — each only carries one and the driver — so that if nothing adverse intervene we are to set forth to-morrow. He sajs that we may reasonably hope to reach Chiavenna before eveniog. I'U therefore not detain this longer, but in the prospect that our hour of liberation has at length drawn nigh, conclude my long despatch. Our Yilla at Como wiLL be oxir next .address, .and I hope to find. a letter there from you soon after our arrival Eemember, Tom, aU that I have said about the supplies, for though they teE me Italy be cheap, I have not yet discovered a land where the population believes gold to be dross. Adieu ! THE SOm) DBAJMILT iMBBOAiD. 4:35 LETTEE XLVin. HAUY ANNE JDQSB 10 HISS DOOLAK, O! BALLTSOOI/AH. On the Spbigen Alps. Deaeest Kitsct, I WEiTE tbeae £ew lines from the Eefiige-house on the Splugen Pass. We are seven thousand feet above the leyel of something, with fifty feet of snow around us,. and the deafening roar of avalanches thunder- ing on the ear. We set out yesterday from the village of Splugen, con- trary to the advice of the Guides, but Papa insisted on going. He de- daxedg that if no other means offered, he'd go on foot, so that opposi- tion was really out of the question. Our departure was quite a pic- ture. J'irst came a long, low sledge, with stones and rocks to explore the way, and show where the footing was secure. Then, came three others with our luggage ; after that Mamma, under the guidance of a moat careful person, a oertain Eemaxdt something, brother of the man who acted as Gruide to Hapoleonj Gary followed her in another sledge, and I came third, Pa,pa bringing up the rear, for Betfy and the other servants were tastefully grouped about the luggage. Several additional sledges followed with spade laind shovel-folk, rojiea, daags, and other implements most suggestive of perU and adventure. We were perfect frights to look at, for, in addition to fur boots and caj)es, tarpauhns and hoods, we :had to wear snow-goggles as a precaution against the fine drifting snow, so that really for very shame sake I was glad that each sledge only held one, and the driver, who is fortunately, also, at your back. The first few miles of ascent were really pleasurable, for the snow was hard, and the pace occasionally reached a trot, or at least such a resemblance to one as ^ook the convenieney, and made the bells jingle agreeably on the harness. The road, too, followed a xig-zag course on the steep side of the mountain, so that you saw at moments some of those above and some beneath you, winding abng exactly like the elephant procession in Bluebeard. The voices sounded cheerily in the sharp morning air, itself exhilarating to a degree, and this, with the bright snow peaks, rising one behind the other in the distance, and the little village of Splugen in the valley, made up a scene strikingly picturesque and interesting. There was a kind of adventure, too, about it all, dearest Eitty, that never loses its charm for the soul deeiply 212 436 THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAB. imbued with a sense of the beautiful and the imaginative. I fancied myself at moments carried away by force into the Steppes of Tartary, or that I was Elizabeth crossing the Volga, and I believe I even shed tears at my fancied distress. To another than you, dearest, I might hesitate even if I confessed as much, but you, who know every weak- ness of a too feeling heart, will forgive me for being what I am. MyGruide, a really fine-looking mountaineer, with a magnificent beard, fancied that it was the danger that had appalled me. He hastened to ofier his rude but honest consolations ; he protested that there was nothing' whatever like peril, and that if there were- ^but why do I go on ? even to my dearest friend may not this seem childish ? and is it not a sUly vanity that owns it can derive pleasure from every homage, even the very humblest ? We gradually lost sight of the little smoke-wreathed village, and reached a wild, but grandly desolate region, with snow on every side. The pathway, too, was now lost to us, and the direction only indicated by long poles at great intervals. • That all was not perfectly safe in front might be apprehended, for we came frequently to a dead halt, and then the Gruides and the shovel-men would pass rapidly to and fro, but, muffled as we were, all inquiry was impossible, so that we were left to the horrors of doubt and dread without a chance of relief. At length we grew accustomed to these interruptions, and felt ia a mea- sure tranquil. Not so the Guides, however ; they frequently talked together in knots, and I could see from their upward glances, too, that they apprehended some change in the weather. Papa had contrived to cut some of the cords with which they had fastened his muffles, and by great patience and exertion succeeded in getting his head out of three horsecloths, with which they had swathed him. " Are we near the summit?" cried he in English — " how far are we from the top?" His question was of course unintelligible, but hia action not ; and the consequence was, that three of our followers rushed over to him, and after a brief struggle, in which two of them were tumbled over in the snow, his head was again enclosed within its wooUy cenotaph ; and, indeed, but for a violent jerking motion of it, it might have been feared that even all access to external air was denied him. This little in- cident was the only break to the monotony of the way, till nigh noon, when a cold, biting wind, with great masses of misty vapour, swept past and around us, and my Guide told me that we were some- where, with a hard name, and that he wished we were somewhere else, with a harder. I asked why, but my question died away in the folds of my head- THE DODD PAMILT ABBOAD. 437 gear, and I was left to my own thoughts, when suddenly a loud shout rung through the air. It was a party about to turn back, and the sledges stopped up the road. The halt led to a consultation between the Guides, which I could see turned on the question of the weather. The discussion was evidently a warm one, a party being for, and another against it. Hearing what they said was of course out of the question, muffled as I was ; but their gestures clearly defined who were in favour of proceeding, and who wished to retrace their steps. One of the former particularly struck me ; for, though encumbered with fur boots and an enormous mantle, his action plainly indicated that he was something out of the common. He showed that air of com- mand, too, Kitty, that at once proclaims superiority. His arguments prevailed, and after a considerable time spent, on we went again. I followed the interesting stranger till he was lost to me ; but guess my feelings, Kitty, when I heard a voice whisper in my ear, " Don't be a&aid, dearest; I'll watch over yowr safety." Oh! fancy the per- turbation of my poor heart, for it was Lord George who spoke. He it was whose urgent persuasions had determined the Guides to pro- ceed, and he now had taken the place behind my own sledge, and actually drove instead of the Postilion. Can you picture to yourself heroism and devotion like this ? And while I imagined that he was borne along with aU the appliances of ease and comfort, the poor dear fellow was braying the storm for me, and for me enduring the perils of the raging tempest. Prom that instant, my beloved Kitty, I took little note of the dangers around me. I thought but of him who stood so near to me ; so near, and yet so far off; so close, and yet so severed ! I bethought me, too, how unjust the prejudice of the vulgar mind that attributes to our youthful Nobility habits of selfish indolence and efieminate ease. Here was one reared in all the voluptuous enjoyment of a splendid household, trained from his cradle to be waited on and served, and yet was he there wUfuUy encountering perils and hard- ships from which the very bravest might recoil. Ah, Kitty ! it is im- possible to deny it — ^the highly-born have a native superiority in everything. Their nobility is not a thing of crosses and ribbons, but of blood. They feel that they are of Earth's purest clay, and they assert the claim to pre-eminence by their own proud and lofty gifts. I told you, too, that he said " dearest." I might have been deceived ; the noise was deafening at the moment ; but I feel as if my ears could not have betrayed me. At all events, Kitty, his hand sought mine while he spoke, and though in his confusion it was my elbow he caught, he pressed it tenderly. In what a delicious dream did I revel 438 THE DODD rAMUT ABEOAJD. as -WB slid' along over the snow. "WTiart cared I for the swocqping ■wincl, the thundering avalanche, the drifting snow-wreath — was he not there, my protector and my guide ? Had he not sworn to be. my succour and my safety ? We had just arrived at a lofty table-land — some few peats appeared still above us, but none very near — wJien the wiud, with a violence' beyond all deseription, bore great masses of drift against us, and effectually barred all farther progress. The stone sledge, too, had partly become embedded; in the soft snow, and the horse was standiag powerless, when suddenly Mamma's horse stumbled) ami fell. In his efforts to rise he smashed one of the rope traces, so that when he begaai to pull again, the unequal draught earned the sledge to one side, and upset it. A loud shriek told me some- thing had happened, and at the instant Lord Gr. whispered in my ear, " If s nothing — she has only taken a ' header ' in the soft snow, and won't be a bit the worse." Further questioning was vain; for Gary's sledge-horsB' shied at the confusion in front, and plunged off the road into the deep snow, where he disappeared aU but the head, fortunately flinging her out into the €ruide's arms. My turn was now to come ; for Lord &., with his mad impetuosity, tried to pass on and gain the front, but the animal, by a furious jerk, smashed all the tackle, and set off at a wild, halif-swimmiag pace thromgh ttie snow, leaving our sledge fimdy wedged between two dense walls of drift. Fapa sprung out to our rescue ; but so helpless was he, from the quantity of bis integuments, that he roUed over, and lay there on his back, shouting fearfully. It appeared as if the violence of the storm had only waited for this moment of general disaster; for now the wind tore along great masses of snow, that rose aroimd lis to the height of several feet, covering up the horses to their backs, and embedding the men to their armpits. Lond booming masses announced the fall of avalanches near, and the sky became darkened, like as if night was approaching. Vords can- not convey the faintest conception of that scene of terror, dismay, and confusion., Q-uides shouting and swearing; cries of distress, and screams of anguish, mingled with the rattliug thunder and the whist- ling wind. Some were for trying to' go back; others proclaimed it impossible ; each instant a new disaster occurred. The baggage had disappeared altogether, Betty Cobb being saved, as it sunk, by almost superhuman efforts of the Guides. Paddy Byrne, who had mistaken the kkk of a horse on the back of his head for a blow, had pitched into one of the G-mides, and they were, now fighting in four feet of snow, and. likely to carry their quarrel out of the world with them. Taddy was "nowhene." To add to this uproar, Papa had, immistate for THE BOiDD TAMILT ABBOAS. 4aw brandy, drank two-thirds of a bottle of complenon wash, and screaanfid out that he was poisoned. Of Mamma I could see nothing, but a dense group surrounded her sledge, and showed me she was in trouble. I could not give you an idea of what followed, &r incidents of peril were every moment interrupted by somethiag ludicrous. The vecy efforts we made to disengage ourselves were conatamtly attended by some absurd catastrophe, and no one could stir a step without either a fall, or a plunge up to the waist ia soft snow. The horses, too, would make no efforts to rise, but lay to be snowed over as if perfectly indifferent to their fate. By good fortune our britsehla, from which the wheels had been taien off, was in a sledge to the rear, and Mamma, Cary, and myself, were crammed into this, to which all the horses, and men also, were speedily harnessed, and by aatimidiing efforts were we enabled to get on. Papa and Betty were wedged feat into one sledge, aaid attached to us by a tow-rope, and thus we at length proceeded. When Mamma found herself in comparative safety, she went off into a slight attack of her nerves ; but fortunately Lord Gr. found out the bottle Papa had been in vain in search of, and she got soon better. Poor fellow, no persuasion could prevail on him to come inside along with us. How he travelled, or how he contrived to brave tha/t feairful day, I never learned ! Prom this moment our journey was at the rate of about a nule in three hours, the shovel and spade men having to clear the way as we went ; and what between horses that had to be dug out of holes, harness repaired, men rescued, and frequent acci- dent to Papa's sledge, which on an average was upset every half hour, our halts were incessant. It was after midnight that we reached a dteary-looking stone edifice in the midst of the snow. Anything so - Hi -1 lal! V-.' i'k' ' R-yiaB 4: ,r«^!^' ^ / THE BODD FAMILY AEBOAJD. 447 " Don't jou remember me, Ma'am ?" says he, in a soft voice ; " or must I tell you my name ?" " I'm afraid even that, Sir, would not suffice," said she,-vrith a most insulting smile of compassion. "Ain't you Mrs. Gore Hampton, Ma'am?" asked hej trembling all over between passion and astonishment. " Pray, do send him away, Augustus," said she, sipping her tea. " Don't you perceive. Sir — eh, au — don't ye see — that it's a au — an, eh — a misconception — a kind of a demned blunder ?" " I tell you what I see. Sir," said K. I. — " I see a lady that tra- velled day and night in my company, and with no other companion, too, for two hundred and seventy miles. That lived in the same Hotel, dined at the same table, and, what's more " But I couldn't bear it any longer, Molly. Human Nature is not strong enough for trials like this — to hear him boasting before my face of his base behaviour, and to see her sitting coolly by listening to it. I gave a screech that made the house ring, and went off in the strongest fit of screaming ever I took in my life. I tore my cap to tatters, and pulled down my hair — and, indeed, if what they say be true, my sufferings must have been dreadful ; for I didn't leave a bit of whisker on one of the Guides, and held another by the cheek till he was nigh insensible. I was four hours coming to myself; but many of the others weren't in a much better state when it was all over. The Girls were completely overcome, and K. I. taken with spasms, that drew him up like a football. Meanwhile, she and her friend were off; never tiU the last minute as much as saying one word to any of us ; but going away, as I may say, with colours flying, and all the "horrors of war." Oh, Molly, wasn't that more than mere human fragility is required to bear, not to speak of the starvation and misery in my weak state ? Black bread and onions, that was our dinner, washed down with the sourest vinegar, called wine forsooth, I ever tasted. And that's the way we crossed the Alps, my dear, and them the pleasures that accompanied us iato the beautiful South. If I wanted a proof of K. I.'s misconduct, Molly, wasn't this scene decisive ? Where would be the motive of her behaviour, if it wasn't conscious guilt ? That was the ground I took in discussing the sub- ject as we came along ; and a more lamentable spectacle of confounded iniquity than he exhibited I never beheld. To be sure, I didn't spare him much, and jibed him on the ingratitude his devotion met with, till he grew nearly purple with passion. " Mrs. D.," said he at last, "when we lived at home, in Ireland, we 448 THE DODD EAMILT ABEOAD. had our quarrels like other people, ahout the expense of the house, the waste in the kitchen, the time the horses was kept out under the rain, and such like — ^but it never occurred to you to fancy me a gay Lutherian. What the has put that in your head now ? Is it coming abroad ?■ for, if so, that's another grudge I owe this infernal excursion " You've jiist guessed it, Mr. Dodd, then," said I. "When you were at home in your own place, you were content, like the other old fools of jovx own time of life, with a knowing glance of the eye, a sly look, and maybe a passing word or two, to a pretty girl ; but no sooner did yoii put foot on foreign ground, than you fancied yourself a Lady-kiUer ! You never saw how absurd you were, though I was telling it to you day and night. You wouldn't believe how the whole world was laughing at you, though I said so to the Girls." I improved on this theme till we came at nightfall to the foot of the Alps, and by that time — take my word for it, Mrs. G-aUagher — there wasn't much more to be said on the subject. New troubles awaited us here, MoUy . I wonder wiU they ever end ? Yon may remember that I told you how the wheels was taken off our carriage to put it on a sledge on account of the snow. Well, my dear, what; do you think the creatures did, but they sent our wheels over the Great St. Bernardt— I think they call it — and when we arrived here we found ourselves on the hard road without any wheels to the coach, but sitting with the axles in the mud ! I only ask you where's the temper can stand that ? and worse, too, for K. I. sat down on a stone to look at us, and laughed till the tears run down his wicked old cheeks and made him look downright horrid. "May I never!" said he, "but I'd come the whole way from Ire- land for one hearty laugh like this. It's the only thing I've yet met that requites me for coming ! If I live fifty years I'U never for- get it." I perceive that I haven't space for the reply I made him, so that I must leave you to fiU it up for yourself, and believe me your Ever attached and suffering Jemima Dodd. THE DODD TAMIIT ABEOAD. U9 LETTEE L. JXJtSa DODD TO IiOBD OEOBGE TIVERTOIT, H.P., POSTE BESIANTE, BSEGENZ. Hotel of AH Nations, Baths of Homburg. Mt DEAE TlTEETOir, Totr often said I was a fellow to make a spoon or spoil a — some- tMng wMch I have forgotten — and I begin to fancy that you were a better Prophet than that fellow in Bell's Life, who always predicts the horse that does not win the Oaks. When we parted a few days ago, my mind was resolutely bent on becoming another Mettemich or Palmerston. I imagined a whole life of brilliant diplomatic suc- cesses, and thought of myself receiving the Freedom of the City of London, dining with the Queen, and making "very pretty running " for the Peerage. What will you say, then, when I tell you that I despise the highest honours of the entire career, and wouldn't take the seals of the Foreign Office, if pressed on my acceptance this minute, fo save myself from even the momentary accusation of madness, I'U give you — and in as few words as I can — my explanation. As I have just said, I set out with my head full of Ambassadorial ambi- tions, and jogged along towards England, scarcely noticing the road or speaking to my fellow-travellers. On arriving at Frankfort, how- ever, I saw nothing on all sides of me but announcements and ad- vertisements of the Baths of Homburg — "The last week of the season, and the most brilliant of all." G-orgeous descriptions of the voluptuous delights of the place — ^lists of distinguished visitors, and spicy bits of scandal — alternated with anecdotes of those who had " broke the Bank," and were buying up all the Chateaux and Parks in the neighbourhood. I tried to laugh at these pictorial puffs ; I did my best to treat them as mere humbugs ; but it wouldn't do. I went to bed so full of them, that I dreamed all night of the play- table, and fancied myself once agaia the terror of Croupiers, and the admired of the fashionable circle in the sahti. To crown all, a waiter called me, to say that the carriage I had ordered for the Baths was at the door. I attempted to undeceive him ; but even there my effort was a failure : and, convinced that there was a Fate in the matter, I jumped out of bed, dressed, and set off, firmly impressed with the 2 Q ^50 THE BODD I'AMILT ABBOAB. notion that I was not a free agent, bat actually impelled and driven by Destiny to go and win my millions at Hombnrg. , Perhaps my ardour was somewhat cooled down by the aspect of the place. It has few of the advantages Nature has so lavishly be- stowed on Baden, and which really impart to that delightful resort a charm that totally disarms you of all distrust, and make you forget that you are in a land of " Legs " and Swindlers, and that every second man you meet is a rogue or a runaway. Now, Homburg does not, as the Erench say, " Impose " ia this way. Ton see .at once that it is a " Hell," and that the only amusement is to ruin or be ruined. ' ' " No matter," thought I ; " I have already gradnatai.at the green table ; I ha;ve taken my degree in arts at Baden, and am no young hand fresh from Oxford and new to the Continent ; I'll just go down ^d tiy my luck — ae a fisherman whips a stream. If they rise to my fly — ^weU ; if not, pack up the traps, and tiy some other water." Ton know that my capital was not a strong one — about a hundred and thirty in cash, and a Bill on Drummond for a hundred more — and with this, the Grovemor had " cleared me out " for at least sis months to come. I was, therefore, obliged to "come it small;" and merely dabbled away with a few "Naps.," which, by diat of extraOTdinaty patience and intense application, I succeeded in accumulating to the gross total of sisty. As I foresaw that I couldn't loiter above a day- longer, I went down in the evening to experimentalise on tiiis fund ; and, after a few hours, rose a winner of thiriyi-two thcmBand odd hundred francs. The following morning, I more than doubled this ; .and, in the evening, won a trifte of twenty thousand francs ; when, seeing the game take a capricious turn, I left oi^ and went to supper, I was an utter stranger iu the place ; had not even a passing ac- quaintance with any one ; so that, although dying for a little com- panionship, I had nothing for it but to order my roast partridge in my own apartment, and hob-nob with myself.. It is true I was in capital spirits — I had made glorious running, and no mistake — and I drank my health, and returned thanks for the toast with an eloquence that really astonished me. Egad, I think the waiter must have thought .me mad, as he heard me hip, hipping, with " one cheer more," to the sentiment. I suppose I must have felt called on to sing ; for sing I ■'lid, and, I am afraid, with far more of zeal than musical talent ; &rl overheard a tittering of voices outside my door, and could plainly perceive that 1^ ^ THE DODD I'AMILT ABEOAD. 451 the houaehold had assemMed as audience. What cared I for this ? The world had gone too well with me of late to make me thin- skinned or peevishly disposed. I could afford to be forgiving and generous ; and I revelled in the very thought that I was soaring in an atmosphere to which trifling and petty annoyances never ascended. In this enviable frame of mind was I, when a waiter presented himself with a most obsequious bow, and, iu a voice of submissive civility, implored me to moderate my musical transports, since the lady who occupied the adjoioing apartment was suffering terribly from head- ache. " Certainly; of course," was my reply at oncej and as he was leaving the room— just by way of having something to say — I asked, " Is she young, waiter?" " Toung and beautiful, Sir." "An angel— eh?" " Quite handsome enough to be one, Sir, I'm certain." " And her name ?" " The Countess de St. Auber, widow of the celebrated Count de St. Anber, of whom Monsieur must have read in the newspapers." But Monsieur had not read of him, and was therefore obliged to ask further iriformation ; whence it appeared that the Count had accidentally shot himself on the morning of his marriage, when draw- ing the charge of his pistols, preparatory to putting them in his carriage. The waiter grew quite pathetic in Ids description of the young bride's agonies, and had to wipe his eyes once or twice during his narrative. " But she has rallied by this, hasn't she ?" asked I. " If Monsieur can call it so," said he, shrugging his shoulders. " She never goes into the world. Knows no one — receives no one lives entirely to herself; and, except her daily ride in the wood, appears to take no pleasure whatever in life." " And so she rides out every day ?" " Every day, and at the same hour too. The carriage takes her about a league into the forest, far beyond where the usual promenade extends, and there her horses meet her, and she rides till dusk. Often it is even night ere she returns." There was something that interested me deeply in all this. Tou know that a pretty woman on horseback is one of my greatest weak- nesses ; and so I went on weaving thoughts and fancies about the charming young widow till the Champagne was finished, after which I went off to bed, intending to dream of her, but, to my intense dis- gust, to sleep like a sea-calf till morning. 2g2 452 THE DODD rAMIIiT ABBOAD^ My first care on waking, however, was to despatch a very humble apology by the waiter for my noisy conduct on the previous evening, and a very sincere hope that the Countess had not suffered on iaccount of it. He brought me back for answer, " That the Countess thanked me for my polite inquiry, and was completely restored." " Able to ride out as usual ?" "Tea, Sir." " How do you know that ?" " She has just given orders for the carriage. Sir." " I say, waiter, what kind of a hack can be got here ? Or, stay, is there such a thing as a good-looking saddle-horse to be sold iu the place ?" " There are two at Lagrange's stables, Sir, this moment. Prince G-uiciatelH has left them and his groom to pay about thirty thousand francs he owes here." In less than a quarter of an hour I was dressed and at the stables. The nags were a neat pair ; the groom, an , English , fellow, had just brought them over. He had bought them at Anderson's, and paid close -upon three hxmdred for the two. It was evident that they were " too much,", as horses, for the Prince, for he had never backed either of them. Before I left I had "bought them both for sis thousand francs, and taken ".Bob" himself, a very pretty specimen of the short-' legged, red-whiskered tribe, into toy service. This was on the very morning, mark ! when I should have presented myself before the Dons of Downing-street, and been admitted a somethiag into her Majesty's service ! "I wish they may catch me at red-tapery!" thought I, as I shortened my stirrups, and sat down firmly in the saddle. "I'm much more at home here than perched on an office-stool in that pleasant den they call the 'Nursery' at the Foreign Office." Guided by a groom, with a led horse beside him, I took the road to the forest, and soon afterwards passed a dark-green barouche, with a lady in it, closely veiled, and evidently avoiding observation. The wood. is intersected by alleys, so that I found it easy, while diverging from the carriage-road, to keep the equipage within view, and after about half an hour's sharp canter, I saw the carriage stop, and the Countess descend from it. Even ^ou admit that I am a sharp critic about all that pertains to riding gear; and that as to a woman's hat, coUar, gloves, habit, and whip, I am a first-rate opinion. Now, in the present instance, every- thing was perfect. There was a dash of " costume" in the long, THE DODD FAMILY ABHOAD. 453 drooping feather and the snow-white gauntlets, but then all was strictly toned down to extreme simplicity and quiet elegance. I had just time to notice this much,' and catch a glimpse of such a pair of dark eyes ! when she was in the saddle at once. I only want to see a woman gather up her reins in her hand, shake her habit back with a careless toss of her foot, arid square herself well in the saddle, to say, " That's a horsewoman !" Egad, George, her every gesture and movement were admirable, and the graceful bend- forwards with which she struck out into a canter was actually captivaliing. I stood watching her till she disappeared in the wood, perfectly entranced. I own to you I could riot understand a frenchwoman 'sitting her horse in this fashion, I had always believed the accodplishment to be more or less English, and'I felt ashamed at the narrow prejudice into which I had fallen. ' '*'What an unlucky fellow that same Count must have been!" thbughtl; and with this reflection I spurred my nag into a sharp pace, hoping that fast motion might enable me to turn my thoughts into some other channel. It was to no use. G-o how I would, 'or where ^ I- would, I could think of- nothing but the pretty widow — whither she might be travelling— where she intended to stop— whe- ther "alone, or with others of. her family — ^hef probable age-^her fortune ? — all would fisie up before me, to trouble my curiosity or awaken my interest. I was deep in my speculations, when suddenly a horse ■ bounded past me by a cross path. I had barely time to see the flutter of a habit, when it was lost to view. I waited to see her. groom follow, but he did not appear. I listened, but no sound of a horse, could be heard approaching. Had her horse run away. ? ' Had her servant lost trace of her ? were questions that immediately occurred to me • but there was nothing to suggest the answer or dispel the doubt. I could bear my anxiety no longer, and away I dashed after her, ■ • It was not till after a quarter of an hour that I came in sight of her and then she was skimming along over the even turf at a very slapping pace, which, however, I quickly p^ereeived was no run-away gallop. ; This fact proclaimed itself in a most unmistakable manner, for she suddenly drew up, and wheeled: about, pointing at the same'tune to the ground, where her whip had just fallen.. I dashed up, and dis- mounted, when, in a voice tremulous with ; agitation, and -vrith a face suffused in blushes, she begged my pardon for her gesture; she believed it was her groom who was [following her, and had never noticed his absence before. I cannot repeat her words, but in 454l THE DODD rAMILT AIEOAE; accent, manner, tone, and utterance, I never heard the like of them before. What would I have given at that moment, George, for your glib facility of French ! Hang me if I would not have paid down a thousand pounds to have been able to rattle out even some of those trashy common-places I have seen you scatter with such effect in the coulisses of the Opera ! It was all of no avail. " "Where there's a wiU there's a way," says the adage ; but it's a sorry maxim where a foreign language is concerned. AH the volition in the world won't supply irregular verbs ; and the most go-ahead resolution will never help one to genders. I did of course mutter ail that I could think of ; and, default of elocution, I made my eyes do duty for my tongu^ and with tolerable success, too, as her blush, betrayed. I derived one advantage, too, from my imperfect French, which is worth recording^-I was per- fectly obdurate as to anything she might; have replied in opposition to my wishes, and notwithstanding all her scruples to the contrary, persisted in accompanying her back to the town. If I was delighted with her horsemanship, I was positively en- chanted with her conversation ; for, the first little novelty of our situation over, she talked away with a frank innocence and artless ease which quite fascinated me. She was, in fact, the very realisation of that high-bred manner you have so often told me of as character- ising the best IVench society. How I wished I could have prolonged that charming ride. I'm not quite sure that she didn't detect me in a purpose mistake of the road, that cost us an additional mile or two ; if she did, she was gracious enough to pardon the offence without even showing any consciousness of it. Short as the road was, George, it left me irretrievably in love. I know you'U not stand any raptures about beauty, but this much I must and vrill say, that she is incom- parably handsomer than that Sicilian Princess you raved about at Ems, and in the same style too, brunette, but with a dash of colour in the cheek, a faint pink, that gives a sparkling brilliancy to the rich warmth of the southern tint. Besides this — and let me remark, it w something^- system of administEation where thsre were- all penalties and no. rewards — a school with no premiums but plemifcy of Sog^g:. That vrajs precisely what- liiey- did; They put a. "-bam" vspcm' the natives of the country ; they appoiated them toe nojplaces'of trust or con- fidence ; insulted, their feelings ; outraged) iskeie sense of'nationalifef y and whefnever the syatemL had goaded: them into a' passionste burs^ at indignationi. they- proclaimed martial law, and BangEd tiiem.- Now, the questian: is not whetirer any Mnd of resistance would ndtbbe pardonable agaiiast,auch.a:state of things, but it is Miis: whait specieB of resistance: is moat, likely to succeed'? That is the red. iaquiry ; and I don't think it demands much knowledge of mankind and. the world, fer say -that stabbing^ a Gadetin thebswi as he leaves a ca^R^ shooting a soUtafry 'sentinel on Ms postj or even aasassnating his Corporal as he waHia home of an evening, are exactly the appro- priate methods! for." lefomniiig' a state- or rranodeililing' a constitDtion. Had the InombaiEda devoted' themsdves heart and haad to the material prosperily of ■ their» country — educatedtheir- people, employed them in' useftil works-, fostered their rising and moat pjposperous sUk manu- factories — they would h^ave attained to a weight and consideration in the Austrian Empire' which would have enabled' them* not to soUeit, but dictate the terms of their administration. A few years badE, as late as '47, Milan, I am told, was more torn the rival of Vienna in all that constitutes lie pride-and splendour of a Capital city ; and the growing' iofluenee of her" feiglter classes- was already regarded with jealousy bythe Austrian IS^ofeffity; Look what a revolution has made her now!' Her palaces aire barracks; her' squares are encampments-; artiUeiy bivouac in her puMic- gardens;^ and the rigours of a state of siege penetrate into every private house, and poison all social' intercourse. THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAB. 475' Ton mayTelyupon one thing, Tom, and it iatbia: that no Govern- ment ever persisted in a policy of oppression towards a country that was advancing on lie road of prosperity. It is- to' the disaffected, dispirited, bankrupt people — idle and cantankerous, wasting 'Hieir re- sources, and squandering their means of wealth — that Cabinets play the bully. They grind them the way a cruel edlomel flogs- a con- demned regiments. Let industry and its consequences flow in ; let the : labourer be well fed, and housed, and^ clothed; and the spirit of in- dependence in Hm will be a far stronger and more dangerous* element to deal with, than the momentary burst of passion that comes from a fevered heart in a famisbed framel Ask a Cabinet Minister if he wouldn't be more Mghtened bya deputation from the City, than if the telegraph told him a; Chartist" mob was moving on London ? "We Kve ' in; an age'of a* very peculiar- kind, and ■where real: power and real sfe-engthare more respected than ever they were before. Don't you think I have given you a dose of politics ?• Well, Hap- pily for you, I must deaist now, for Cary has come to order me off to ' bed. It is only two p.m., but" the siesta is now one of my habits; and. so pleaaamt a. one, that I intend to keep it when I get well again. Mne* o'clock, EreDing. Here I am again at my dest for yoir, though Cary. has only given me leave to devote half-an-hour to your edification. "What a good girl it is; so watchful in all her attention, and witb that kind of devotion that shows;her whole heart is engaged in what she is doing. The Doctor may fight the malady, Tom, but, take my word for it, it is the Nurse that' saves the' patient. If ever I raised my eyelids^' there she was beside" me ! I, couldn't make a sign that I was thirsty till' she had. the drink to my: lips. She had^tao, that noiseless, quiet way vpith her, so soothing to a sick man ; and, above all, she never bothiered vritH questions^ but learned to guess what I wanted, and sat patiently watching at her post; it ia a strange confession to make, but the very best thing I feiow o£ this foreign tavr of ours is^ that it: has not ^iled that girl ^ ahe has- contracted no taste for eitra finery in dress, nor extra liberty in morals ; her good-: sense is not overlaid, by the pretentious- tone of those- mock IS^'obles that run about calling each other Count and Marquis, and fkncying they are the great world. There she is, as warm-hearted, as natural, and as simple — in aU'thaifmakes the real excellence of sim- plicity — as -when she left hornet And now -with aD. this, I'd wager° a crown that nineteen young feUows' oat of twenty would- prrfer' Mary Anne to her. &ke is, to be sure] a fine, sho-wy girl, and has 476 THE BODD TAMILT ABBOAD. taken to a stylisli line of character so naturally that she never aban- dons it. I assure you, Tom, the way she used to come in of a morning to ask me how I was, and how I passed the night ; her graceful stoop to kiss me ; her tender, little, caressing twaddle, as if I was a small child . to be bribed into black bottle by sugar-candy; were as good as a play. The little extracts, too, that she made from the newspapers to amuse me, were all from that interesting column called fashionable intelligence and the movements in fashionable life, as if it amused me to hear who Lady Jemima married, and who gave away the bride. . Cary knew better what I cared for, and told me about the harvest and the crops, and the state of the potatoes ; with now and then a spice of the foreign news, whenever there was anything remarkable. To all appearance, we are not far from a war ; but where it's to be, . and with whom, is hard to say. There's no doubt but fighting is a costly amusement ; and I believe no country pays so heavily for her fun in that shape as England ; but, nevertheless, there is nothing would so much tend to revive her. drooping and declining influence on the Continent as a little brush at sea. She is, I take it, as good as certain to be victorious ; and the very fervour of the enthusiasm success would evoke in England, would go far to disabuse the foreigner of his notion that we are only eager about printing calicoes, and sharpening Sheffield ware. Believe me, it is vital to us to eradicate this fallacy ; and until the world sees a British fleet reeling up the Downs with some half-dozen dismasted line-of-battle ships in their wake ; they'll, not be convinced of what you and I know well — ^that we are just the same people that fought the Nile and Trafalgar. Those Industrial Exhibitions, I think, brought out a great deal of trashy sentimentality about universal brotherhood, peace, and the rest of it. I suppose the Crystal Palace rage was a kind of allegory to show that they who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones ; but our ships, Tom — our ships, as the song says, are " hearts of oak !" Here's Cary again, and with a confounded cup full of something green at top and muddy below ! Apothecaries are filthy distillers all the world over, and one never knows the real blessing of health till they have escaped from their beastly brewings. G^od night. Saturday Evening. A regular Italian morning, Tom ; and such a view ! The mists are swooping down the Alps, and showing clifis and crags in every tint of sunlit verdure. The Lake is blue as a dark torquoise, reflecting the banks and their hundred villas in the calm water. The odour of THE DODD FAMIIiT ABEOAD. 477 the orange-flower and the oleander load the air, and, except my vagabonds under the window, there is not an element of the picture devoid of interest and beauty. There they are as usual ; one of thein has his arm in a bloody rag I perceive, the consequence of a row last night — at least Paddy Byrne saw a fellow wiping his knife and wash- ing his hands in the Lake — very suspicious circumstances — just as he was going to bed. I have been hearing all about our neighbours — at least, Gary has been interrogating the gardener, and " reporting progress" to me as well as she could make him out. This Lake of Como seems the Paradise of ci-devanf theatrical folk ; all the Prima Donnas who have amassed millions, and all the dancers that have pirouetted into great wealth, appear to have fixed their ambition on retiring to this spot. Of a truth, it is the very antithesis to a stage existence. The silent and almost solemn grandeur of the scene, the massive Alps, the deep dense woods, the calm unbroken stUlness, are strong contrasts to the crash and tumult, the unreality and uproar, of a theatre. I wonder, do they enjoy the change ? I am curious to know if they yearn for the blaze of the dress-circle and the waving pit? Do they long at heart for the stormy crash pf the orchestra and the maddening torrent of applause ? and does the actual world of real flowers, and trees, and terraces, and fountains, seem in their eyes a poor counterfeit of the dramatic one ? It would not be unnatural if it were so. There is the same narrowing tendency in every profes- sional career. The Doctor,' the Lawyer, the Priest, the Soldier — ay, and even your Parliament man, if he be an old Member, has got to take a House of Commons standard for everything and everybody. It is only your true idler, your genuine good-for-nothing vagabond, that ever takes wide or liberal views of life ; one like myself, in short, whose prejudices have not been fostered by any kind of education, and who, whatever he knows of mankind, is sure to be his own. They've carried away my ink-bottle, to write acknowledgments and apologies for certain invitations the womenkind have received to go and see fireworks somewhere on the Lake ; for these exhibitions seem to be a passion with Italians ! I wish they were fonder of burning powder to more purpose ! I'm to dine below to-day, so it is likely that I'U not be able to add anything to this before to-morrow, when I mean to despatch it. A neighbour, I hear, has sent us a fine trout ; and another has forwarded a magnificent present of fruit and vege- tables ; very graceful civilities these to a stranger, and worthy of record and remembrance. Lord George tells me that these Lombard Lords are fine fellows — that is, they keep splendid houses and capital 4/13 THE BODD a'AMILT ASBOAD. torses, have first-rate cooks,. ami :London-built carriages — aaad,,as lie adds, will bet you what you like at piquet or licarte. Egad, such qualities ihaTe gieat suecess ia the world, despite aE that moralists may say of them ! The ink has come back, but it ie Jam drynowf! The fact is, .Tom, that veiy littleiexertion goes fer with a man in. iShis, climate! It is scarcely noon, but the sultry heat is most oppressive; and I half .agree >with my Mends under the window, that the dorsal attitude is iihertrue one for Italy. In any lOther country you want to be up amd doing: there are snipe or woodcoeks to be shot,. a. 'salmon 1)0 kill, or a fox to hunt,; you .hav« tolook at .the .potatoes, or the poor-house ; there!s ajcow, or a roadjsesBioi],.or something or other to employ you.: but iiere,, it's a snug spot in the ehade you look for — sis. feet of even ground under a tree ; and with .that the howcB go glibly OTaer, dn a manner that is quite miraculous. It ought to be the best place under thesun for men of small, fortune. The climate alone is an immense economy inifurs and:firing ; ;and there is scarcely a luxury that ds 2not,rea]ly recollect nothing. I inow that I had ques- tions to ask, doubts to resolTe, and directions to g^ra, hut they are all so commingled and blended together in my distracted brain, that I can make nothing out of Ae disorder. The. feet is, Tom, the feUow has bledme too liar, and it is not atmy timB of life— 58° in the shads, by old Time's thermometer — that one rallies quickly outsoftheJiands of the Doctor. I thought myself well enough this jnoming to lodkiOTer my accounts ; lindeed, I. felt certain that the inquiry could not be pmidently delayed, so IfsentJoriMaryAnne after breakfast, and proijeeded in state to a grand audit. I have already informed you that all thermaterial of life hereis the Teryeheapest. Meat about fourpence apound; breadand butter, and milk, and vegetables, still more leasonablet; wine, such as it is, twopence a bottle ; fimt for half nothing. It was not, therefare, any inordinate expectation on my part that we should be economising in rare style,. and making up for past extravagance by real retrench- ment. I actua%- looked forward to the day of reckoning as a kind of holiday from all care, and for once in my life xevel in the satisfaction of having done "the prudent thing. Conceive my misery and disappointment — I was too weak; for rage — tojfindthat our daily expenses here, with a most moderate houeehold, and no company, amounted to a fraction over five pounds English a day. The broad fact so overwhelmed me, that it was only with camphor-julap and ether that I got over it, and could proceed to details. Proceed to details, do I say ! mmch good did it do me ! jfor what between a new coinage, new weights and measures, and a-new language, I: got soon into a conftision and embarrassment that would have been too much for my brain in its best days. Now and then I began to hope that I grappled with a feet, even a small one ; but, alas ! it was 'only a delusion, for though the prices were strictly as I told you, there was no means of even approximatii^cto the quantities ordered in. On a rough calculation, however, it appears that my mutton broth took half a sheep per diem. The family consumed about two cows a week in beef — besides hares, pheasants, hams, and capons at wiU. The servants — ^with a fourth of the vrine set down to me — could never have been sober an hour ; while our vegetable and fruit supply would have rivalled Covent Garden market. " Do you understand this, Mary Anne ?" said I. " JS'o, Papa," said she. 480 THE DODD TAMIIT ABBOAD. "Does your Mother?" said I. "No, Papa." " Does Lord George understand it ?" " No, Papa; but he says he is sure Giacomo can explain everything ; for he is a capital feUow, and honest as the sun !" " And who is Giacomo ?" said I. " The Maestro di Casa, Papa. He is over all the other servants, pays aU the bills, keeps the keys of everything, and, ia fact, takes charge of the household." " Where did he come from ?" " The Prince Belgiasso had him in his service, and strongly recom- mended him to Lord George as the most trustworthy and best of servants. His discharge says, that he was always regarded rather in the light of a friend than a domestic !" Shall I own to you, Tom, that I shuddered as I heard this. It may be a most unfair and ungenerous prejudice, but if there be any class in life of whose good qualities I entertaia a weak opinion, it is of the servant tribe, and especially of those who enter into the confidential category. They are, to my thinking, a pestilent race, either tyran- nising over the weakness, or fawning to the vices of their employers. I have known a score of them, and I rejoice to think that a very large proportion of that number have been since transported for life. " Does Giacomo speak English ?" asked L " Perfectly, Papa : as well as Erench, Spanish, German, and a little Eussian." " Send him to me, then," said I, " and let us have a talk together." " Tou can't see him to-day. Papa, for he is performing St. Bar- nabas in a grand procession that is to take place this evening." This piece of information shows me that it is a " Pesta," and the post will consequently close early, so that I now conclude this, pro- mising that you shall have an account of my interview with Giacomo by to-morrow or the day after. Not a line from James yet, and I am beginning to feel very un- comfortable about him. Tours ever faithfully, Kenht I. DODD. THE BODD TAMILT ABBOAJJ- 481 LETTER LY. KENNT JAMES DODD TO THOMAS PUBCELIi, ESQ., OF THE GRANGE, BEUFF. Como. Mt deae Tom, This may perchance be a lengthy despatch, for I have just received a polite invitation from the authorities here to pack off, bag and baggage, over the frontier ; and, as it is doubtful where our next move may take us, I write this " in extenso," and to clear off all arrears up to the present date. At the conclusion of my last, if I remember aright, I was in anxious expectation of a visit from Signer Griacomo Lamporeccho. That accomplished Gentleman, however, had been so fatigued by his labours in the procession, and so ill from a determination of blood to the head, brought on by being tied for two hours to a tree, with his legs uppermost, to represent the saiut's martyrdom, that he could not wait upon me tiUthe third day after the Eesta ; and then his streaked eyeballs and flushed face attested that even mock holiness is a costly performance. " You are Griacomo ?" said I, as he entered ; and I ought to men- tion that in air and appearance he was a large, full, fine-looking man, of about eight-and-thirty or forty, dressed in very accurate black, and with a splendid chain of mosaic gold twined and festooned across his ample chest : opal shirt-studs and waistcoat-buttons, and a very gor- geous-looking signet-ring on his fore-finger, aided to show off a stylish look, rendered still more imposing by a beard a Grand Vizier might have envied, and a voice a semi-tone deeper than Lablache's. " Giacomo Lamporeccho," said he; and though he uttered the words like a human bassoon, they really sounded as if he preferred not to be himself, but somebody else in case I desired it. " "Well, Giacomo," said I, easily, and trying to assume as much familiarity as I could with so imposing a personage, " I want you to afford me some information about these accoimts of mine." " Ah ! the house accounts !" said he, with a very slight elevation of the eyebrows, but quite sufficient to convey to me an expression of contemptuous meaning. "Just so, Giacomo; they appear to me high — enormously— ex- travagantly high !" 2i ^82 THE DODD EAMILX A^BOAB. "His Excellency paid, at least, tlie double in London," said he, bowing. " That's not the question. "We are in Lombardy — a land where the price of everything is of the cheapest. How comes it, then, that we are maintainuig our house at greater cost than even Paris would require ?" "With a volubility that I can make no pretension to follow, the fellow ran over the prices of bread, meat, fowls, and fish, showing that they were for half their cost elsewhere : that .his Excellency's table was actually a mean one ; that sea-fish from Venice, and ortolans, seldom figured at it above once or twice a week ; that it was rare to see a second flask of Champagne opened at dinner ; that our Bour- deaus was bad, and our Burgundy bitter ; m short, he thought his Excellency had come expressly for economy, as great " Milors" will occasionally do, and that if so, he must have had ample reason to be satisfied with the experiment. Though every sentiment the fellow uttered was an impertinence, he bowed, and smiled, and demeaned himself with such an air of hu- mility throughout, that I stood puzzled between the matter and the manner of his address. Meanwhile, he was not idle, but running over with gUb volubility the names of aU the " Elusfcrissimi Inglesi" he had been cheating and robbing for a dozen years back. To nail him to the fact of the difference between the cost of the article and the gross sum expended, was downright impossible, though he clearly gave to understand, that any inquiry into the matter showed his Excellency to . be the shabbiest of men — mean, grasping, and avaricious ; and, in fact, very likely to be no " MUor" at all, but some poor pretender to rank and station. I felt myself waxing wroth with a weak frame — about as un- pleasant a situation as can be fancied ; for, let me observe to you, Tom, that the brawny proportions of Signor Lamporeccho would not have prevented my trying conclusions with Mm, had I been what you last saw me ; but, alas ! the Italian Doctor had bled me down so low, that I was not even a match for one of his countrymen. I was therefore obliged to inform my friend, that, being alone with him, and our interview having taken the form of a privileged communica- tion — ^he was a Thief, and a Eobber ! The words were not uttered, when he drew a long and glistening knife from behind his back, under his coat, and made a rush at me. I seized the butt-end of James's fishing-rod — fortunately beside me — and held him at bay, shouting wildly, " Murder !" all the while. The room was filled in an instant ; Tiverton and the girls, followed by all THE DODD TAinXT ABEOAD. 483 «tlie servants, and several peasants, rushing in pell-meU. Before, however, I could speat, for I was almost choked with passion, Signer Griacomo had gained Lord G-eorge's ear, and evidently made him his partisan. Tiverton cleared the room as fast as he could, mumbling out something to the girls that seemed to satisfy them and allay their fears, and then, closing the door, took his seat beside me. " It wiU. not signify," said he to me, in a kiad voice ; " the thing is only a scratch, and wiU be well ia a day or two." " What do you mean ?" said I. " Egad ! you'U have to be cautious, though," said he, laughiag. " It was in a very awkward place ; and that tool isn't the handiest for minute anatomy." " Do you want to drive me mad, my Lord ; for, if not, _pist take the trouble to explain yourself." " Pooh, pooh," said he ; " don't fuss yourself about nothing. I understand how to deal with these fellows. Tou'U see, five-and- twenty Ifaps. wiU. set it all right." " I see," said I, " your intention is to outrage me ; and I beg that I may be left alone." " Come, don't be angry with me, Dodd," cried he, in one of his good-tempered, coaxing ways. "I know well you'd never have done it " " Done what — done what ?" screamed I, in an agony of rage. He made a gesture with the fishing-rod, and burst out arlaughing for reply. " Do you mean that I stuck that scoundrel that has just gone out?" cried L " And no great harm neither !" said he. " Do you mean that I stuck him ? — answer me that." " "Well, I'd be just as much pleased if you had not," said he ; " for, though they are always punching holes into each other, they don't like an Englishman to do it. StiU, keep quiet, and I'U set it all straight before to-morrow. The Doctor shall give a certificate, setting forth mental excitement, and so forth. We'll show that you are not quite responsible for your actions just now." " Egad, you'll have a proof of your theory, if you go on much longer at this rate," said I, grinding my teeth with passion. " And then we'U get up a provocation of some kind or other. Of course, the thing vrill cost money ; that can't be helped, but we'U try to escape imprisonment." 2i2 484 THE DODD TAMIIT ABBOAS. " Send Gary to me; send my daughter here!" said I, for I was* gro'wing weak. " But hadn't you better let us concert " "Send Gary to me, my Lord, and leave me ;" and I said the words in a way that he coxddn't misunderstand. He had scarcely quitted the room when Gary entered it. "There, dearest Papa," said she, caressingly, "don't fret. It's a mere trifle ; and if he wasn't a wretchedly cowardly creature he'd think nothing of it !" " Are you ia the conspiracy against me, too ?" cried I ; "have yow also joined the enemy P" " That I haven't," said she, puttiag an arm round my neck; " and I know well, if the fellow had not grossly outraged, or perhaps menaced you, you'd never have done it !. I'm certain of that. Pappy !" Egad, Tom, I don't like to own it, but the truth is — I btirst out a-erying, that's what aU this bleeding and lowering has brought me to, that I haven't the nerve of a kitten ! It was the inabOity to rebut all this balderdash — to show that it was a lie from beginning to end — ^confounded pie ; and when I saw my poor Gary, that never be- lieved iU of me before, that no matter what I said or did always took my part, and if she couldn't defend, at least excused me — when, I say,' I saw that she gave in to this infernal delusion, I just felt as if my heart was going to break, and I sincerely vsdshed it might. I tried very hard to summon strength to set her right ; I suppose that a drowning man never struggled harder to reach a plank than did I to grasp one thought well and vigorously ; but to no use. My ideas danced about like the phantoms in a magic lantern, and none would remain long enough to be recognised. "I think I'E take a sleep, my dear," said I. " The very wisest thing you could do. Pappy," said she, closing the shutters noiselessly, and sitting down in her old place beside my bed. - Though I pretended slumber, I never slept a wink. I went over aU this affair in my mind, and summing up the evidence against me, I began to wonder if a man ever committed a homicide without know- ing it — I mean, if, when his thoughts were very much occupied, he could stick a fellow-creature and not be aware of it. I couldn't exactly call any case in point to mind, but I. didn't see why it might not be possible. If stabbing people was a common and daily habit of an individual, doubtless he might do it, just as he would wind his watch or wipe his spectacles — ^whUe thinking of something else ; but as it was not a customary process, at least where I came from, there THE BODD TAMIIT ABBOAD. 485 was the difficulty. I would have given more than I had to give, just to ask Gary a few questions ; as, for instance, how did it happen ? where is the wound ? how deep is it ? and so on, but I was so ter- rified lest I should, compromise my innocence, that I would not ven- ture on a syllable. One sees constantly in the Police Eeports how the Prisoner, when driving off to gaol with Inspector Potts, iavariably betrays himself by some expression of anxiety or uneasiness, such as, " "Well, nobody can say I did it ! I was in Hounsditch till eleven o'clock ;" or, " Poor Molly, I didn't mean her any harm, but it was she begun it." "Warned by these indiscreet admissions, I. was guarded not to utter a word. I preserved my resolution with such firmness, that I fell into a sound sleep, and never awoke tiU. the next morning. Before I acknowledged myself to be awake — don't you know that state, Tom, in which' a man vibrates between consciousness and indo- lence, and when he has not fully made up his mind whether he'U not skulk his load of daily cares a little longer ? — I could perceive that there was a certain stir and movement about me that betokened ex- traordinary preparation, and I could overhear Uttle scraps of discus- sions as to whether " he ought to be awakened," and " what he should wear," Gary's voice being strongly marked in opposition to every- thing that portended any disturbance of me. Patience, I believe, is not my forte, though long suffering may be my fortune, for I sharply asked, " "What the was in the wind now?" ""We'll leave him to Gary," said Mrs. D., retiring precipitately, followed by the rest, while Gary came up to my bedside, and kindly began her inquiries about my health ; but I stopped her, by a very abrupt repetition of my former question. " Oh ! it's a mere nothing. Pappy — a formality, and nothing more. That creature, Giacomo, has been making a fuss over the a&ir oif last night; and though Lord George endeavoured to settle it, he refused, and went off to the Tribunal to lodge a complaint." ""WeU, goon." " The Judge, or Prefect, or whatever he is, took his depositions, and issued a warrant " "To apprehend me?" " Don't flurry yourself, dearest Pappy ; these are simply formalities, for the Brigadier has just told me " " He is here, then — in the house ?" " "Why will you excite yourself in this way, when I teU you that all will most easily be arranged. The Brigadier only asks to see you — to ascertain, in fact, that you are reaUy iU, and unable to be removed " 486 THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAD. " To Gaol — to the common Prison, eh. ?" " Oh, I must not talk to you, if it irritates you in this fashion ; indeed, there is now little more to say, and if you wiU just permit the Brigadier to come in for a second, everything is done." "I'm ready for him," said I, in a tone that showed I needed no further information ; and Gary left the room. After about five minutes' waiting, in an almost intolerable impa- tience, the Brigadier, stooping his enormous bearskin to fuUy three feet, entered with four others, armed cap-a-pie, who drew up in a Unfr behind him, and grounded their carbines with a clank that made the room shake. The Brigadier, I must teU you, was a very fine soldier- like feUow, and with fully half a dozen decorations hanging to his coat. It struck me that he was rather disappointed ; he probably expected to see a man of colossal proportions and herculean strength, instead of the poor remnant of humanity that chicken broth and the lancet have lefb me. The room, too, seemed to fall below his expecta- tions; for he threw his eyes aroimd him without detecting any armoTuy, or ofiensive weapons, or indeed any means of resistance whatever. " This is his Excellency ?" said he at last, addressing Gary ; and she nodded. "Ask him. his own name, Gary," said I. " I'm curious about it." " My name," said he, sonorously, to her question— '" my name is Alessandro Lamporeccho ;" and with that he gave the word to his people to face about, and away they marched, with aU the solemnity of a military movement. As the door closed behind them, however, I heard a few words uttered in whispers, and immediately afterwards the measured tread of a sentry slowly paradmg the lobby outside my room. " That's aaothev formality, Gary," said I, " isn't it ?" She nodded for reply. " TeU them I detest ceremony, my dear," said I ; " and — and" — I couldn't keep down my passion — " and if they don't take that fellow away, I'U pitch him head and crop over the banisters." I tried to spring up, but back I fell, weak, and almost fainting. The sad truth came home to me at once, that I hadn't strength to face a baby ; so I just turned my face to the wall, and sulked away to my heart's content. If I teU you how I spent that day, the same story wiU. do for the rest of the week. I saw that they were all watching and waiting for some outbreak, of either my temper or my curiosity. They tried every means to tempt me into an inquiry of one kind or other. They dropped hints, in half-whispers, before me. They said twenty things to arouse anxiety, and even alarm in me ; but I re- THE DOBD EAMIIT ABEOAB'. 487 solved that, if I passed my days ttere, I'd starve theim out, and so I did. On the ninth day, when I was eating my breakfast, just as I had finished my mutton chop, and was goiug to attack the eggs, Caiy, in a half-laughing way, said : " "Well, Pappy, do you never intend to take the air agaia ? The weather is now delightful — ^that second season they caU the summer of St. Joseph." " Ain't I a prisoner S" said I. " I thought I had murdered some- body, and was sentenced for life to this chamber." " How can you be so silly !" said she. " Tou know, perfectly well, how these foreigners make a fiiBs about everything, and exaggerate every trifle into a mock importance. Now, we are not in Ire- land " " No," said I, " would to Heaven we were !" " WeR, perhaps I might echo the prayer, without doing any great violence to my sincerity ; but as we are not there, nor can we change the venue^ — ^isn't that the phrase ? — to our own country, what if we just were to make the best of it, and suffer this matter to take its course here ?" "As how, Gary P" " Simply by dressing yourself, and driving into Como. Tour case wUl be heard on any morning you present yourself; and I am so convinced that the whole affair will be settled in five minutes, that I am quite impatient it should be over." I will not repeat aU her arguments, some good, and some bad ; but every one of them dictated by that kind and affectionate spirit, which, however her judgment incliue, never deserts her. The end of it was, I got shaved and dressed, and within an hour was skimming over the calm clear water, towards the little city of Como. Gary was with me — she would come — she said she knew she did me good ; and it was true : but the scene itself, those grand, great moun- tains, those leafy glens, opening to the glassy Lake, waveless and stiU^ that glorious reach of blue sky, spanning from peak to peak of those Alpine ridges, all soothed and calmed me ; and iu the midst of such gigantic elements, I could not . help feeling shame that such a reptile as I should mar the influence of this picture on my heart, by petty passions, and little fractious discontents, unworthy of a sick school- boy. " Isn't it enough for you, K. I.," said I, " ay, and more than you deserve, just to Uve, and breathe, and have your being, in such a bright and glorious world ? If you were a Poet, with what images would not these swooping mists, these fleeting shadows, people your 488 THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAD. iriiagination ? What Toicea would you tear in tlie wind sighing through the olive groves, and dying in many a soft cadence along the grottoed shore ? If a Painter, what effects of sunlight and shadow are there to study ? what tints of colour, that without nature to guarantee, you would never dare to venture on ? But being neither, having neither gift nor talent, being simply one of those ' fruit con- sumers,' who bring back nothing to the common stock of mankind, and who can no more make my fellow-man wiser or better than I make inyself taller or younger, is it not a matter of deep thankfiil- ness that, in all my common-place of mind and thought, I too— even K. I. that I am — have an intense feeling of enjoyment in the con- templation of this scene ? I couldn't describe it like Shelley, nor paint it Hke Stanfield, but I'U back myself, for a five-pouud note, to feel it with either of them." And there, let me tell you, Tom, is the real superiority of nature over all her counterfeits. Tou need no study, no cultivation, no connoisseurshjp to appreciate her: her glorious works come home to the heart of the Peasant, as, mist-begirt, he waits for sunrise on some highland waste, as weU as to the Prince, who gazes on the swelling laiidscape of his ovm dominions. I couldn't teU a Claude from a Canaletti— I'm not sure that I don't like H. B. better than Albert Durer — ^but I'd not surrender the heartfelt delight, the calm, intense, deep-souled gratitude I ex- perience from the contemplation of a lovely landscape, to possess the Stafford gallery. I was then in a far more peaceful and practicable frame of mind as we entered Como, than when I quitted the Villa. I should like to have lingered a little in the old town itself, with its quaint little arched passages and curious architecture ; but Gary ad- vised me to nurse all my strength for the " Tribunal." I suppose it must be with some moral hope of discountenancing litigation that foreign Governments always make the Law Courts as dirty and dis- gusting as possible, pitch them in a filthy quarter, and surround them with every squalor. This one was a paragon of its kind, and for rags and ruflBanly looks, I never saw the equal of the company there as- sembled. I am not yet quite sure that the fellow who showed us the way didn't purposely mislead us ; for we traversed a dozen dark corridors, and went up and went down more staircases than I have accomplished for the last six months. Now and then we stopped for a minute to interrogate somebody through a sliding pane in a kind of glass cage, and off we went again. At last we came to a densely-crowded pas- sage,, making way through which, we entered a large haU with a vaulted roof, crammed with people, but who made room at the in- stance of a red-eyed, red-bearded Httle man in a black gown, that I THE DODD TAMILT ABEOAJ). 489 now, to my horror and disgust, found out was my Counsel, being already engaged by Lord Greorge to defend me. " This is treachery, Gary," whispered I, angrily. " I know it is," said she, " and I'm one of the traitors ; but any- thing is better than to see you pine away your life iu a sick-room." This was neither the time nor place for much colloquy, as we now had to fight our way vigorously through the mob tUl we reached a row of seats where the Bar were placed, and where we were politely, told to be seated. Directly in front of us sat three ill-favoured old fellows in black gowns and square black caps, modelled after those brown-paper helmets so popular with plasterers and stucco men in our country. I found it a great trial not to laugh every time I looked at them ! There was no case " on" at the moment, but a kind of wrangle was going forward about whose was to be the next hearing, iu which I could hear my own name mingled. My lawyer, Signer Mastuecio, seemed to make a successful appeal in my favour ; for the three old " Plasterers" put up their eye-glasses, and stared earnestly at Gary, after which the chief of them iiodded benignly,'and said that the case of Giacomo Lamporeccho might be called, and accordingly, with a voice that might have raised the echoes of the Alps, a feUow screamed out that the " Homicidio" — I have no need to trans- late the word — was then before the Gourt. If I only were to tell you, Tom, of the tiresome, tedious, and unmeaning formalities that followed, your case in listening would be scarcely more enviable than was my own while enduring them. All the preliminary proceedings were in writing, and a dirty little dog, with a vile odour of garlic about him, read some seventy pages of a manuscript which I was informed was the accusation against me. Then appeared another creature — his twin brother in meanness and po- verty — who proved to be a Doctor, the same who had professionally attended the wounded man, and who also read a memoir of the patient's suiferings and peril. These occupied the Gourt till it was nigh three o'clock, when, being concluded, Giacomo himself was called. I assure you, Tom, I gave a start when, instead of the large, fine, burly, well-bearded rascal with the Lablache voice, I beheld a pale, thin, weakly creature, vrith a miserable treble, informthe Court that he was Giacomo Lamporeccho. Gary, who translated for me as he spoke, told me that he gave an account of our interview together, in which it would appear that my conduct was that of an outrageous maniac. He described me as accusing everybody of roguery and cheating — calling the whole coun- 490 THE BODD TAMILT ABEOAD. try a den of thieves, and the authoritieB their accomplices. He detailed his own mild remonstrances against my hasty judgment, and his calm appeals to my better reason. He dwelt long upon his wounded honour, and, what he felt still more deeply, the wounded honour of his nation ; and at last he actually began to cry when his feehngs got too much for him, at which the Court sobbed, and the Bar sobbed, and the general audience, in a mixture of grief and menace, muttered the most signal vengeance against your humble servant. I happened to be — a rare thing for me, latterly — ^in one of my old moods, when the ludicrous and the absurd carry away all my sympa- thies ; and faith, Tom, I laughed as heartily as ever I did in my life at the whole scene. " Are we coming to the wound yet, Caiy," said I, " tell me that," for the fellow had now begun again. " Tes, Papa, he is describiug it, aind, by his account, it ought to have killed him." " Egad," said I, " it will be the death of me with laughing;" and I shook till my sides ached. " Does his ExceUency know that he is ia a Court of Justice ?" said Plasterer No. 1. " Tell him, my dear, that I quite forgot it. I fancied I -was at a play, and enjoyed it much." I believe Gary didn't translate me honestly, for the old fellow seemed appeased, and the case continued. I could now perceive that my atrocious conduct had evoked a very strong sentiment in the auditory, for there was a great rush forward to get a look at me, and they who were fortunate enough to succeed, complimented me by a string of the most abusive and insultiag epithets. My Advocate was now called on, and seeing him rise, I just whispered to Gary — "Ask the Judge if we may see the wound?" " What does that question mean ?" said the Chief Judge, im- periously. " Wotdd the prisoner dare to insinuate that the wound has no existence ?" "You've hit it," said I. " Tell him, Gary, that's exactly what I mean." " Has not the Prisoner sworn to his sufferings," repeated he, "and the Doctor made oath as to the treatment ?" " They're both a pair of lying scoundrels. Tell him so, Gary." " Tou see him now. There is the man himself in his true colours, most illustrious and most ornate Judges," exclaimed Giacomo, point* ing to me with his finger, as I nearly burst with rage. " Ah ! Ghe Diavolo ! Che Demonio Infemale !" rung out amidst THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAB. 491 the ■waving crowd, and the looks bestowed on me from the Bench seemed to give hearty concurrence to the opinion. Now, Tom, a Court of Justice, he its locale ever so humble, and its procedure ever so simple, has always struck me as the very finest evidence of homage to civilisation. There is something in the fact of men submitting, not only their worldly interests and their characters, but even their very passions, to the arbitration of their feUow-men, that is indescribably fine and noble, and shows — ^if we even wanted such a proof — ^that this corrupt nature of ours, in the midst of aU its worst influences, has stiU some of that Divine essence within, un- sullied and untarnished. And just as I reverence this, do I execrate with all my heart's indignation, a corrupt Judicature. The Govern- ments who employ, and the People who tolerate them, are weU worthy of each other. Take all the vices that degrade a Nation, " bray them in a mortar," and they'll not eat so deep into the moral feeling of a people as a tainted administration of the Law. Tou may fancy that, in my passionate warmth, I have forgotten all about my individual case: no such thing. I have, however, rescued myself from the danger of an apoplexy by]opening this safety- valve to my indignation. And now I cannot resume my narrative. No, Tom, " I have lost the scent," and all I can do is to bring you " in at the death." I was sentenced to pay seven hundred zwanzigers — eightpences — all the costs of the procedure, the Doctor's bill, and the maintenance of Griaeomo tUl his convalescence was completed. I appealed on the spot,- to an upper Court, and the judgment was con- firmed ! I nearly burst with indignant anger, and asked my Advocate if he had ever heard of such iniquity ? He shrugged his shoulders, smiled slightly, and said, " The Law is precarious in aU countries." "Tea — but," said I, "the Judges are not always corrupt. Now, that old President of the first Court suggested every answer to the witness " " Yincenzio Lamporeocho is a shrewd man -" " What ! How do you call him ? Is he anything to our friend Griaeomo ?" « He is his father!" " And the Brigadier who arrested me ?" " Is his brother. The Junior-Judge of the Appeal Court, Luigi Lamporeocho, is his first cousin." I didn't ask more questions, Tom. Pancy a country where your Butler is brother to the Chief Baron, and sues you for wages in the Court of Exchequer ! 492 THE DODD I'AMILT ABEOAD. " And you, Signer Mastuccio," said I. " I hope I have not ex- posed you to the vengeaiice of this powerful family, by your zeal in my behalf?" " Not in the least," said he ; " my mother was a Lamporeccho herself." Now, Tom, I think I need not take any more pains to explain the issue of my Law-suit ; and here I'U leave it. My parting benediction to the Court was brief: " Good-by, old Gentlemen. I'm glad you have the Austriaris here to buUyyou; and not sorry that yov, are here to assassinate them" This speech was overheard by some learned linguist in Court, and on the same evening I received an intimation to quit the Imperial dominions within twenty-four hours. Tiverton was for going up to Milan to . Eadetzky, or somebody else, and having it aU " put straight," as he calls it ; but I would not hear of this. " We'll write to the Ambassador at Vienna ?" said he. " Nor that either," said I. " To the Times, then." "Not a word of it." " Tou don't mean to say," said he, " that you'U put up with this treatment, and that you'll lower the name of Briton before these foreigners, by such a tame submission ?" " My view of the case is a very simple one, my Lord," said I ; " and it is this. "We travelling English are very prone to two faults ; one is, a bullying effort to oppose ourselves to the laws of the countries we visit ; and then, when we fail, a whining appeal to some Minister or Consul to take up our battle. The first is stupid — the latter is contemptible. The same feeling that would prevent me trespassing on the hospitality of an unwilling host, wiU rescu6 me from the indignity of remaining in a country where my presence is distasteful to the rulers of it." " Such a line of conduct," said he, " would expose us to insult from one end of Europe to the other." " And if it teach us to stay at home, and live under laws that we understand,, the price is not too high for the benefit." He blustered away about what he wouldn't ^do in the Press, and in his " place" in Parliament ; but what's the use of aU. that ? WiH England go to war for Kenny James Dodd ? No. Well, then, by no other argument is the foreigner assailable. Tell the Austrian or the Eussian Government that the company at the " Freemasons' " dinner were shocked, and the ladies at Exeter Hall were outraged at THE BODD FAMTLT ABBOAB. 493 their cruelty, and they'll only laugh at you. We can't send a fleet to Vienna ; nor — we wouldn't if we could. I didn't teU Lord George, but to you, in confidence, Tom, I wiU say, I think we have — if we liked it^a grand remedy for aU these cases. Do you know that it was thinking of Tim Eyan, the rat- catcher at Kelly's mills, suggested it to me. "Wlienever Tim came up to a house with his traps and contrivances, if the family said they didn't need him, " for they had no rats," he'd just loiter about the place till evening — and, whatever he did, or how he did it, one thing was quite sure, they had never to make the same complaint again ! Now, my notion is, whenever we have any grudge with a foreign State, don't begin to fit out fleets or armaments, but just send a steamer oiff to the nearest port with one of the refugees aboard. I'd keep Kossuth at Malta, always ready ; Louis Blaine and Ledru EoUin at Jersey ; Don Miguel and Don Carlos at Gibraltar ; and have Mazzini, and some of the rest, cruising about for any service they might be wanted on. In that way, Tom, we'd keep these Governments in order, and, like Tim Eyan, be turning our vermin to a good account besides ! I thought that Mrs. D. and Mary Anne displayed a degree of attachment to this place rather surprising, considering that I have heard of nothing but its inconvenience tiU this moment, when we are ordered to quit it. Ifow, however, they suddenly discover it to be healthful, charming, and economical. I have questioned Gary as to the secret of this change, but she does not understand it. She knows that Lord George received a large packet by the post of this morning, and instantly hurried oif to communicate its contents to Mary Anne. By George, Tom ! I have come to the notion that to rule a family of four people, one ought to have a " Detective officer" attached to the household. Every day, or so, something puzzling and inexplicable occurs, the meaning of which never turns up tiE you find yourself duped, and then it is too late to complain. Ifow, this same letter Cary speaks of is at this very instant exercising a degree of influence here, and I am to remain in ignorance of the cause till I can pick it out from the efiect. This, too, is another blessed result of foreign travel ! "When we lived at home the incidents of our daily life were few, and not very eventful ; they were circumscribed within narrow limits, and addressed themselves to the feelings of every one amongst Us. Concealment would have been absurd, even were it possible ; but the truth was, we were all so engaged with the same topics and the same spirit, that we talked of them constantly, and grew to think that outside the little circle of ourselves the world was 494 THE DODD rAMILT ABEOAB. a mere ^^ildemess. To be sure, all this sounds very narrow-minded, and all that. So it does ; but let me tell yon, it conduces greatly to happiness and contentment. Now, here we have so many irons in the fire, some one or other of us is always burning his fingers ! I continue to be very uneasy about James. Not a line have we had from him, and he's now several weeks gone ! I wrote to Vickars, but have not yet heard from him in reply. Gary endeavours to persuade me that it is only his indolent, careless habit is in fault ; but I can see that she is just as uncomfortable and anxious as myself. Ton will collect from the length of this document that I am quite myself again ; and, indeed, except a little dizziness in my head after dinner, and a tendency to sleep, I'm all right. Not that I complain of the latter, far from it, Tom. Sancho Panza himself never blessed the inventor of it more fervently than I do. Sometimes, however, I think that it is the Newspapers are not so amusing as they used to be. The racy old bitterness of party spirit is dying out, and all the spicy drollery and epigrammatic fun of former days gone with it. It strikes me too, Tom, that "Party," in the strong sense, never can exist again amongst us. Party is essentially the submission of the many to the few ; and so long as the few were pre-eminent in ability and tactical skill, nothing was more salutary. Walpole, Pelham, Pitt, and Fox, stood immeasurably above the men and the intelligence of their time. Their Statecraft was a sdeoce of which the mass of their followers were totally ignorant, and the crew never dreamt of questioning the PUot as to the course he was about to take. Wbereas now — although by no means deficient in able and competent men to rule us — the body of the House is filled by others very little their inferiors. Old Babington used to say, " that between a good Physician and a bad one, there was only the difierence between a pound and a guinea." In the same way, there is not a wider interval now, between the Eight Honourable Secretary on the Treasury Bench, and the Honourable Member below him. Education is widely disseminated — ^the intercourse of Club Life is immense — opportunities of knowledge abound on every hand — the Press is a great popular instructor ; and, above all, the temper and tendency of the age favours labour of every kind. Idleness is not in vogue with any class of the whole community. "What chance, then, of any man, no matter how great and gifted he be, imposing his opinions — as such — ^upon the world of Politics ? A Minister, or his opponent, may get together a number of supporters for a particular measure, just as you or I could muster a mob at an Election or a THE DODD TAMILT ABEOAD. 495 Pair ; but there ■would be no more discipline ia the one casfe than in the other. They'd come now, and go when they liked; and any chance of reducing such " irregulars" to the habits of an army, would be downright impossible ! There is another cause of dulness, too, in the Newspapers. All the accidents — ^a most amusing column it used to be — are now entirely caused by railroads ; and there is a shocking sameness about them. They were "shunting" waggons across the Line when the Express came up, or the Pointsman, didn't turn the switch, or the fog obscured the danger signal. With these three explanations, some hundreds of human beings are annually smashed, smothered, and scalded, and the survivors not a whit more provident than before. Cruel assaults upon women — usually the wives of the ruffians themselves — ^are, I perceive, becoming a species of popular custom in England. Every Times I see, has its catalogue of these atrocities ; and I don't perceive that five shilling fines, nor even three weeks at the Treadmill, diminishes the nmnber. One of the railroad companies announces that it will not hold itself responsible for casualties, nor indemnify the sufferers. Don't you think that we might borrow a hint from them, and insert some clause of the same kind into the marriage ceremony, and that the woman should know aU her " Liabili- ties," without any hope of appeal? Ah! Tom PurceU, all our naval reviews, and industrial exhibitions, and boastful " Leading " articles about our National greatness, come with a very ill grace in the same broad sheet with these degrading Police histories. Must savage ferocity accompany us, as we grow in wealth and power ? If so, then I'd rather see us a third-rate power to-morrow, than rule the world at the cost of such disgrace ! Ireland I see jogs on just as usual, wrangling away. They can't even agree whether the potatoes have got the rot or not. Some of the papers, too, are taking up the English cry of triumph over the downfal of our old Squirearchy ; but it does not sound weU from them. To be sure, some of the new proprietors would seem not only to have taken our estates, but tasted the Blarney-stone besides ; and one, a great man, too, has been making a fine speech, with his " re- spected friend, the E.^verend Mr. O'Shea," on his right hand, and vowing that he'U never turn out anybody that pays the rent, nor dis- possess a good tenant! The stupid in&tuation of these EngHsh makes me sick, Tom. "Why, with all their seH-sviffiijiency, can't they see that we understand our own people better than they do ? "We know the causes of bad seasons and short harvests better ; we know the soil better, and the climate better, and if we haven't been good landlords, it is simply because we couldn't afford it. Now, they are 496 THE BOBD I'AMIIT ABBOAD. rich, and can aflPord it ; and if they have bought up Irish estates to get the rents out of them, I'd like to know what's to be the great benefit of the change. " Pay up the arrears," say I ; but if my Lord Some- body from England says the same, I think there's no use in selling me out, and taking Mm m my place. And this brings me to asking when I'm to get another remittance ? I am thinking seriously of retrenchment ; but first, Tom, one must have something to retrench upon. Ton must possess a salary before you can stand " stoppages." Of course we mean " to come home again." I haven't heard that the Grovernment have selected me for a snug berth in the Colonies ; so be assured that you'll see us aU back in Dodsborough before Mrs. D. had been looking over my shoulder, Tom, while I was writing the last line, and we have just had what she calls an " expla- nation," but what ordinary grammarians would style — a row. She frankly and firmly declares that I may try Timbuctoo or the G-ambia if I Uke, but back to Ireland she positively will not go ! She informs me, besides, that she is quite open to an arrangement about a sepa- rate maintenance. But my property, Tom, is like poor Jack Hefier- nan's goose — it wouldn't bear carving, so he just helped himself to it all! And, as I said to Mrs. D., two people may get some kind of shelter under one umbrella, but they'll infallibly be wet through if they cut it in two, and each walk off vrith his half. " If you were a bit of a gentleman," said she, "you'd give it aU to the lady." That's what I got for my illustration ! • But now that I'm safe once more, I repeat you shall certainly see us back in our old house again, and which, for more reasons than I choose to detail here, we ought never to have quitted. I have been just sent for to a Cabinet Council of the family, who are curious to know whither we are going from this ; and as I wish to appear prepared with a plan, and am not strong in geography, I'll take a look at the map before I go. I've hit it, Tom — Parma. Parma will do admirably. It's near, and it's never visited by strangers. There's a gallery of pictures to look at, and, at the worst, plenty of cheese to eat. Tourists may talk and grumble as they will about the dreary aspect of these small capitals, without trade and commerce, with a beggarly Court and a ruined NobiHty — to me they are a boon from Heaven. Tou can always live in them for a fourth of the cost of elsewhere. The head Inn is your own, just as the Piazza is, and the Park at the back of the Palace. It goes hard but you can amuse yourself poking about into old churches, and peeping into shrines, and down wells, pottering into the market- place, and watching the bargaining for eggs and onions ; and when these fail, it's good fun to mark the discomfiture of your womankind THE BODD TAMIIT ABEOAD. 497 at being shut up in a place where there's neither opera nor playhouse — no promenade, no regimental band, and not even a milliner's shop. IVom aU I can learn, Parma wUl suit me perfectly ; and now I'm off to announce my resolve to the family. Address me there, Tom, and with a sufficiency of cash to move further when necessary. I'm this moment come back, and not quite satisfied with what I've done. Mrs. D. and Mary Anne approve highly of my choice. They say nothing could be better. Some of us must be mistaken, and I fervently trust that it may not be Tour sincere friend, KENirr Jambs Dodd. LETTEE LYI. JAMES DODD TO LOED GEORGE TIVERTON, M.P. Cour de Vienne, Mantua. Mt deae Geoege, I've only five minutes to give you ; for the horses are at the door, and we're to start at once. I have a great budget for you when we meet ; for we've been over the Tyrol and Styria, spent ten days at "Venice, and " done" Verona and the rest of them — John Murray in hand. "We're now bound for Milan, where I want you to meet us on our arrival, with an invitation from my Mother, asking Josephine to the "Villa. I've told her that the note is abeady there awaiting her, and for mercy sake, let there be no disappointment. This dispensation is a horribly tedious affair ; but I hope we shall have it now withiu the present month. The interval she desires to spend in perfect retirement, so that the YiUa is exactly the place, and the attention will be well timed. Of course they ought to receive her as well as possible. Mary Anne, I know, requires no hint ; but try and persuade the Governor to trim himself up a little, and if you could make away with that old flea-bitten robe he calls his dressing-govm, you'd do the State some service. Look to the servants, too, and smarten them up : a cold perspiration breaks over me when I think of Betty Cobb ! I rely on you to think of and provide for everything, and am ever your attached friend, James Dodd. I changed my last five hundred pound note at Venice, so that I must bring the campaign to a close immediately. 2k 498 THE BOBD EAMILT AEBOAS. LETTBE LVn, KBS. DODD TO HBS. irABT GALLAQHEB, DODSBOBOiraE. Parma. The " Cour de Parme." Mt Deae Molly, "When I wrote to you last, we were living, quietly it is true and unostensively, but happily, on the Lake of Comus, and there we might have passed the whole Autumn, had not K. I., with his usual thoughtfulness for the comfort of his family, got into a row with the Police, and had us sent out of the country. No less, my dear ! Over the frontier in. twenty-four hours was the word ; and when Lord George wanted to see some of the great people about it,, or even make a stir in the Newspapers, he wouldn't let him. " No," said he, " the world is getting tired of Englishmen that are wronged by foreign Governments. They say, naturally enough, that there must be some fault in ourselves, if we are always in trouble, this way ; and, besides, I would not take fifty pounds, and have somebody get up in the House and move for all the corre- spondence in the case of Mr. Dodd, so infamously used by the authorities in Lombardy." Them's his words, MoUy ; and when we told him. that it was a fine way of getting known and talked about in the world, what was his answer do you think ? "I don't want notoriety; and if I did, I'd write a letter to the Himes, and say it was I that defended Hougoumont, in the Battle of Waterloo. There seems to be a great dispute about it, and. I don't see why I couldn't put in my claim." I suppose after that, MoUy, there will be very little doubt that his head isn't quite right, for he was no more at Waterloo than you or me. It was a great shock to us when we got the order to march ; for on that same morning the post brought us a letter £pom James, or, at least, it came to Lord George, and with news that made me cry with sheer happiness for fuU two hours after. I wasn't far vrrong, Molly, when I told you that it's little need he'd have of learning, or a pro- fession. Launch him out well in life was my words to K. I. Give him ample means to mix in society and make friends, and see if he won't turn it to good account. I know the boy well ; and that's what K. I. never did — never could.. THE BODD TAMIIT ABEOAD. 499- See if I'm not right, Mary Gallaglier^ He went down to the: Baths of I'm afraid of the name, but it sounds like " Humbug," aa well as I can make out — and what does he do but make acquaintance with a beautiful young creature, a widow of nineteen, rolling in. wealth, and one of the first families in Trance. How he did it, I can't tell ; no more than where he got all the money he spent there on horses, and carriages, and diimeis, and elegant things that he ordered for her from Paris. He passed &ve weeks there, courting her, I suppose; and then away they went, rambling through Germany, and over the mountains, down to Venice. She in her own traTeULng-carriage, and James driTing a team, of four beautiful greys of his own ; and then meeting' when they stopped at a town, but all with as much discretion as if it was only politeness between them. At last he pops the question, MoUy ; and it turns out that she has no objection in life, only tha,t she must get a dis- pensation from the Pope, because she was promised and betrothed to^ the King of l^aples, or one of his brothers j and though she married another, she never got what they call a Bull of release. This is the hardest thing in the world to obtain ; and if it wasn't that she has a Cardinal an uncle, she might never get it* At all events, it will take time, and meanwhile she ought to live in the strictest retirement. To enable her to do this properly, and also by way of showing her every attention, James wrote to have an in- vitation ready for her to come down to the YiUa and stay with us on a visit. By bad luck, my dear, it was the very morning this letter came, K. I. had got us all ordered away f What was to be done, was now the question ; we daren't trust hhn with the secret till she was in the house, for we knew weU he'd refuse to ask her — say he couldn't afford the expense, and that we were all sworn to ruin him. "We left it to Lord George' to manage ; and he, at last, got K. I. to fix on Parma for a week or two ; one of the quietest towns in Italy, and where you never see a coach in the streets, nor even a well-dressed creature out on Sunday. K. I. was delighted with it all; saving mqney is the soul of him, and he never thinks of anything but when he can make a hard bargain. What he does with his income, Molly, the saints alone can tell ; but I suspect that there's some sinners, tooi, know a trifle about it ; and the day will come when I'll have the proof! Lord G, sent for the Landlord's tariff; and it was reasonable enough. Eooms were to be two zwanzigers — one and foUrpence — a piece ; breakfaist> one ; dinner, two zwanzigers ; tea, half a one ; no charge for wine of 2k2 500 THE BODD TAMILT ABEOAB. the place ; and if we stayed any time, we were to have the key of a Box at the Opera., K. I. was in ecstasy. " If I was to live here five or six years," says [he, " and pay nobody, my affairs wouldn't be so much em- barrassed as they are now !" " If you'd cut off your encumbrances, Mr. Dodd," said I, " that would save something." " My what ?" said he, flaring up, vdth a face like a turkey-cock. But I wasn't goiag to dispute with him, Molly, so I swept out of the room, and threw down a little china flower-pot just to stop him. That same day we started, and arrived here, at the Hotel, the Cour de Parme,'by midnight ; it was a tiresome journey, and K. I. made it worse, for he was fighting with somebody or other the whole time ; and Lord George was not with us, for he had gone off to Milan to meet James ; and Mr. D. was therefore free to get into as many scrapes as he pleased. I must say, he didn't neglect the opportunity, for he insulted the Passport people, and the Custom-house- officers, and the man at the bridge of boats, and the postmasters and postilions everywhere. " I didn't come here to be robbed," said he everywhere ; and he got a few Italian words for "thief," "rogue," "villain," and so on ; and if I saw one, I saw ten knives drawn on him that blessed day. He wouldn't let Gary translate for him, but sat on the box himself, and screamed out his directions like a madman. This went on till we came to a place called San Donino, and there — it was the last stage from Parma — they told him he couldn't have any horses, though he saw ten of them standing all ready harnessed and saddled ia the stable. I suppose they explained to him the reason, and that he didn't understand it, for they aU got to words together^ and it was soon who'd scream loudest amongst them. At last K. I. cried out, " Come down, Paddy, and see if we can't get four of these beasts to the . carriage, and we'U not ask for a postilion." Down jumps Paddy out of the rumble, and rushes after him into the stable. A terrible uproar followed this, and soon after the stable people, helpers, ostlers, and postboys, was seen running out of the door for their Uves, and K. I. and Paddy after them, with two rack- staves they had torn out of the manger. " Leave them to me," says K. I. ; " leave them to me, Paddy, and do you go in for the horses ; put them to, and get a pair of reins if you can ; if not, jump up on one of the leaders, and drive away." If he was bred and bom in the place he could not have known it better, for he came out the next minute with a pair of horses, that he ■ im'a.fmw ^ /'^'>"^ ^^ -y^^^' / THE BODD TAMILX ABEOAD. 501 ^stened to the carriage in a trice, and then hurried hack for two ihore, that he quickly brought out and put to also. " There's no whip to be fouud," says he, " but this wattle wiU do for the leaders ; and if your Honour will stir up the wheelers, here's a nice little handy stable-fork to do it with." With this Paddy sprung into the saddle, K. I. jumped up to the boi, and off they set, tearing down the street like mad. It was pitch dark, and of course neither of them knew the road, but K. I. screamed out, " Keep in the middle, Paddy, and don't puU up for any one." We went through the village at a fuU gaUop, the people all yelling and shouting after us ; but at the end of the street there were two roads, and Paddy cried out, " Which way now ?" " Take the widest, if you can see it," screamed K. I. ; and away he went at a pace that made the big travelling-carriage bump and swing like a boat in a sea. We soon felt we were going down a dreadful steep, for the carriage was all but on top of the horses, and K. I. kept screaming out, " Keep up the pace, Paddy, Make them go, or we'll aE be smashed.' ' Just as he said that, I heatd a noise, like the sea in a storm, a ter- rible sound of rushing, dashing, roaring water,- then a frightful yell froni Paddy, followed by a plunge. " In a river,' by 1" roared out K. I. ; and as he said it the coach gave a swing over to one side, then righted, then swung back again, and with a crash that I thought smashed it to atoihs-, feU over on one side into the water.; "AH right," said K. I. ; "I turned the leaders short.. round and saved ual" and with that he began tearing and dragging us out. I fell into a swoon after this, and know no more of what hap- pened. When I came to myself I was in a small hut, lying on a bed of chestnut-leaves, and the place crowded with peasants and postilions. " There's no mischief done, Mamma," said Gary. " Paddy swam the leaders across beautifully, for the traces snapped at once, and ex- cept the iWght, we're nothing the worse." " Where's Mary Anne ?" said I. " Talking to the Gentleman who assisted us-:— outside— some friend of Lord George's, I believe, for he is with him." Just as she said this, in comes Mary Anne with Lord George and his friend. " Oh, Mamma," says she, in a whisper, " yon don't know who it is — ^the Prince himself!" "Ah, been and done it, Marm," said he, addressing me with his glass in his eye. "What, Sir?" said L ■502 THE DOBD rAMUT ABEOAD. " Taken a ' header,' they tell me, eh ? Olad there's no harm done." "His Serene Highness hopes you'll not mind it, Mamma," said Mary Anne. " Oh, is that it ?" said I. " Tes, Mamma. Isn't he delightful — so easy, so familiar, and so truly kind, also." " He has just ordered up two of his own carriages to take us on." By this time his Serene Highness had lighted his cigar, and, seating himself on a log of wood in the comer of the hut, began fimofctng. In the intervals of the puffs he said : " Old Gremt took a wrong turning — should have gone left — water very high, besides, from the late rains — ^regular smash — ■•wish I'd Been it." K. I. now joined us, all dripping, ^nd hung round Tsith weeds and water-lilies — as Lord G-eorge said, like an ancient river G-od. "In any other part of the globe," said he, "there would have been a warning of some kind or other stuck up here to show there wasnt a bridge ; ibut exactly as I said yesterday, these little beggarly States, with their petty Grovernments, are the curse of Europe.'' "Hush, Papa, for mercy sake," whispered Mary Anne; "this is the Prince himself; it is his 'Serene Highness " « Oh, the devil!" said he. "My friend, Mr. Dodd, Prince," said Lord Greorge, presenting him, with a sly look, as much as to say, " the same I told you about." " Dodd — Dodd — fellow of that name hanged, wasn't there 1" said the Prince. " Tes, your Highness ; he was a Doctor Dodd, who committed for- gery, and for whom the very greatest public sympathy was felt at the time," said K. I. "Tour father, eh?" " No, your Highness, no relation whatever." " Won't have him at any price, G-eorge," said the Prince, with a wink. "Never draw a weed, Miss?" said he, .turning to Mary Anne. I don't know what she said, but it must have been smart, for his Serene Highness laughed heartily, and said : " Egad, I got it there, Tiverton !" In due time a royal carriage arrived. The Prince himself handed us in, and we drove off with one of the Court servants on the box. To be sure, we forgot that we had left K. I. behind ; but Mary Anne THE DODD TAMILT ABEOAD. 503 said he'd have no difficulty in finding a conTeyance, and the distance was only a few miles. " I wish his Serene Highness had not taken away Lord Creorge," said Mary Airne ; " he insists upon his going with him to Venice." " For my part," said Gary, " though greatly obliged to the Prince for his opportune kindness to ourselves, I am stiU more grateful to him for this service." On that, my dear, we had a dispute that lasted till we got to our journey's end; for, though the girls never knew what it was to dis- agree at home in. Dodsborough, here, abroad, Gary's jealousy is such that she cannot control herself, and says at times the most cruel and unfeeling things to her sister. At last we got to the end of this wearisome day, and found our- selves at the door of the Inn. The Gourt servant said something to the Landlord, and immediately the whole household turned out to receive us ; and the order was given to prepare the " Ambassador's suite of apartments for us." " This is the Prince's doing," whispered Mary Anne in my ear. " Did you ever know such a piece of good fortune ?" The rooms were splendid, Molly ; though a little gloomy when we first got in, for all the hangings were of purple velvet, and the pictures on the walls were dark and black, so that, though we had two lamps in our saloon and above a dozen candles, you could not see more than one-half the length of it. I never saw Mary Anne in such spirits in my life. She walked up and down, admiring everything, praising everything ; then she'd sit down to the piano and play for a few minutes, and then spring up and waltz about the room Kke a mad thing. As for Gary, I didn*t know what became of her tUl I found that she had been down stairs with the Landlord, getting him to send a conveyance back for her i'ather, quite forgetting, as Mary Anne said, that any fuss about the mistake would only serve to expose us. And there, Molly, once for all, is the difierence between the two girls I The one has such a knowledge of life and the world, that she never makes a blunder; and the other, with the best intentions, is always doing Bomething wrong! We waited supper for K. I. tiU past one o'doek; but, with his usual selfishness and disregard of others, he never came tUl it was nigh three, and then made such a noise as to wake up the whole house. It appeared, too, that he missed the coach that was sent to meet him, and he and Paddy Byrne came the whole way on foot ! Let him do what he will, he has a knack of bringing disgrace on his 504 THE DOBD FAMILT ABEOAB. family! The fatigue and wet feet, and Ms temper more than either, brought back the gout on him, and he didn't get up till late in the afternoon. "We were in the greatest anxiety to tell him about James ; but there was no saying what humour he'd be in, and how he'd take it. Indeed, his first appearance did not augur well. He was cross with ererything and everybody. He said that sleeping on that grand bed with the satin hangings, was like lying in state after death, and that our elegant drawing-room was about as comfortable as & KOathedral. He got into a little better temper when the Landlord came up with the bill of fare, and to consult him about the dinner. "Egad!" said he, "I've ordered fourteen dishes; so I don't think they'll make much out of the two zwanzigers a head !" Out of decency he had to order Champagne, and a couple of bottles of Italian wine of a very high quality. "It's like all my economy," says he; "■five shillings for a horse, and a pound to get him shod !" "We saw it was best to wait till dinner was over before we spoke to him ; and, indeed, we were right, for he dined very heartily, finished the two bottles every glass, and got so happy and comfortable that Mary Ajine sat down to the piano to sing for him. " Thank you, my darling," said he, when she was done. " I've no doubt that the song is a fine one, and that you sung it well, but I can't follow the words, nor appreciate the air. I like something that touches me either with an old recollection, or by some suggestion for the future: and if you'd try and remember the 'Meeting of the Waters,' or ' Where's the Slave so lowly' " " I'm afraid. Sir, I cannot gratify you," said she ; and it was aJl she could do to get out of the room before he heard her sobbing. " What's the matter, Jemi," said he ; " did I say anything wrong ? Is Molly angry with me ?" " Will you tell me," said I, " when you ever said anything right ? Or do you do anything from morning till night but hurt the feelings iand dance upon the tenderest emotions of your whole family ? I' ve sub- mitted to it so long," said I, " that I have no heart left in me to com- plain ; but now that you drive me to it, I'll teU you my mind ;" and so I did, Molly, till he jumped up at last, put on his hat, and rushed down stairs into the street. After which I went to my room, and cried till bed-time ! As poor Mary Anne said to me, " There was a refined cruelty in that request of Papa's, I can never forget •" nor is it to be expected she should ! The next morning at breakfast he was in a better humour, for the table was covered with delicacies of every kind, fruit and liqueurs THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAD, 505 besides. " Not dear at eiglitpence, Jemi," he'd say, at every time he filled his plate. " Just think the way one is robbed by servants, when yon see what can be had for a ' zwanziger ;' " and he made Gary take down a list of the things, just to send to the Times, and show how the English hotels were cheating the public. "We saw that this was a fine opportunity to tell him about James, and so Mary Anne undertook the task. " And so he never went to London at all," he kept repeating all the wMe. No matter what she said about the Countess, and her fortune, and her great con- nexions ; nothing came out of liis lips but the same words. " Don't you perceive," said I, at last, for I couldn't bear it any longer, " that he did better — ^that the boy took a shorter and surer road in Hfe, than a shabby place under the Crown !" " May be so," said he, with a deep sigh — " may be so ! but I ought to be excused if I don't see at a glance how any man makes his for- time by marriage !" I knew that he meant that for a provocation, MoUy, but I bit my lips and said nothing. "We then explained to him that we had sent off a note to the Countess, asking her to pass a few weeks with its, and were in hourly expectation of her arrival. He gave another heavy sigh, and drank off a glass of Cura^oa. Mary Anne went on about our good luck in. finding such a capital hotel, so cheap, and ia such a sweet retired spot, just the very thing the Countess would like. " Never went to London at all !" muttered K. I., for he couldn't get his thoughts out of the old track. And, indeed, though we were all talking to him for more than an hom: afterwards, it was easy to see that he was just standing stiLl on the same spot as before. I don't ever remember passing a day of such anxiety as that, for every distant noise of wheels, every crack of a postilion's whip, brought us to the window to see if they were coming. "We delayed dinner tiU seven o'clock, and put K. I.'s watch back, to persuade him it was only five ; we loitered and lingered over it as long as we could, but no sight nor sound was there of their coming. " TeU Paddy to fetch my slippers, Molly," said K. I., as we got into the drawing-room. " Oh, Papa ! impossible," said she ; " the Countess may arrive at any moment." "Thiak of his never going to London at aU!" said he, with a groan. 506 THE DOBD FAMILY ABEOAB. I almost cried with spite, to see a man bo lofit to every sentiment of proper pride, and even dead to the prospe6ts of his own children! " Don't you think I might have a cigar ?" said he. "Is it here, Papa?" said Mary Anne. "The smell of tobacco would certainly disgust the Oountess." " He thinks it would be more flattering to receive her into all the intimacy of the family," said I, " and see us without any disguise." "Egad, then," said he, bitterly, "she's come too late for ^Aaf ; she should have made oxir acquaintance before we began vagabondising over Europe, and pretending "to fifty things "we've no right to !" " Here she is — ^here they are !" screamed Mary .Arrne at this moment, and, with a loud noise like thunder, the heavy eaxaaigs rolled under the arched gateway; while craek — crack — crack went the whips, and the big bell of the ball began rii^ing away furiouflly. " I'm off, at all events," said X. L ; and snatching one of the candles oif the table, he rushed out of the room as hard as he couM go. I hadn't more than time to put my cap straigjkfc on my head, when I heard them on "the stairs ; and then, with a loud "bang of the folding doors, the Landlord himself ushered them into the xoom. She was leaniflg on James's arm, but the minute she saw me, she rushed for- ward and kissed my hand ! I never was so ashamed in my life, Mdly. It was making me out such a great personage at once, that I thought I'd have fainted at the Tery notion. As to Mary Anne, they were in each other's arms in a second, and kissed a dozen times. Cary, how- ever, with a coldness that I'll never forgive her for, just shook haaids with her, and then turned to embrace James a second time. "While Mary Anne was taking off Iter shawl and her bonnet, I saw that she was looking andously about the room. " "What is it?" said I to Mary Anne — " what does she want ?" " She's asking where's the Prince ; she means Papa," whispered Maa?y Anne to me ; and then, in a flash, I saw the way James represented us. " Tell her, my dear," said I, " that the Prince wasn't very well, and has gone to bed." But she was too much engaged with us all to ask more aboiit him, and we aU sat down to tea, the happiest party ever you looked at. I had time now to look at her, and really, Molly, I must allow she was the hand- somest creature I ever beheld. She was a kind of .a Spanish beauty^ brown, and with jet-black eyes and hair, but a little vermilion on her cheeks, and eye-lashes that threw a shadow over the upper part of her face. As to her .teeth, when she smiled — ^I thought Mary Anne's good, but they were nothing in comparison. "When she caught me THE BOUD FAMILY ABEOAB. 507 looking at her,' she Beamed to guess what was passing ia my mind, for ehe stooped down and kissed my hand twice or thrice with rapture. It was a great loss to me, as you may suppose, that I couldn't speak to her, nor understand what she said to me ; but I saw that Mary Anne was charmed with her, and even Gary — cold and distant as she was at first — seemed very much taken with her afterwards. When tea was over, James sat down beside me, and told me eveiy- thing. " If the Grovernor will only behave handsomely for a week or two," said he — " I ask no more — that lovely .creature and four thousand a year are aU my own !" He went on to show me that we «ught to iive ia a certain style — not looking too narrowly into the cost of it — while she was with us. " She can't stay after the four- fteenth," said he, "for her uncle the Cai^dinal is to be at Pisa that day, and she must be there to meet Mm ; so that, after aU, it's only three weeks I'm asking for, and a couple of hundred pounds will do it aU. As for me," said he, " I'm regulairlyiaground — haven't a ten- pound note jemaining, and had to sell my ' drag ' and my four greys at Milan, to get money to come on here." He then informed me that her saddle-horses would arrive in a day or two, and that we should immediately provide others, to enable him and the girls to ride out with her. " She is used to every ima- giaable luxury," said he, "and has no conception that want of means could be the impediment to having anything one wished for." I promised him to do my best with his Father, MoUy ; but you may guess what a task that was ; for, say what I could, the only remark I could get out of him was, " It's very strange that he never went to London." After aU, MoUy, I might have spared myself all my fatigue and all my labour, if I had only had the common sense to remember what he was — what he is — ay, and what he wUl be — to the end of the chap- ter. He wasn't well in the room with her the next morning, when I saw the old fool looking as soft and as sheepish at her as if he was making love himself. I own to you, Molly, I think she encouraged it. She had that French way with her, that seems to say, " Look as long as you like, and I don't mind it ;" and so he did — and even after breakfast I caught him peeping under the Times at her foot, which, I must say, was beautifully shaped and smaU, not but that the shoe had a great >deal to say to it. " I hope you're pleased, Mr- Dodd ?" said I, as I passed behind his chair. " Yes," said he; " the Funds is rising." " I mean with the prospect," said I. " Yes,'' said he ; "we'll be all looking, up presently," 508 THE BODD TAMIIT ABEOAB. " Better than looking down," said I, " you old fool." I couldn't help it, Molly, if it was to have spoiled everything — -the words would come out. He got very red in the face, MoUy, but said nothing, and so I left him to his own reflections. And it is what I'm now going to do with yourself, seeing that I have come to the end of all my news, and carefully jotted down everything that has occurred here for your benefit. Eour days have now passed over, and they don't seem like as many hours, though the place itself has not got many amuse- ments. The young people ride out every morning on horseback, and rarely come back until time to dress for dinner. Then we all meet ; and I must say a more elegant display I never witnessed! The table covered with plate, and beautiful-coloured glass globes filled with flowers. The girls in fuU dress — for the Countess comes down as if she was going to a Court, and wears diamond combs in her head, and a brooch of the same, as large as a cheese-plate. I, too, do my best to make a suitable appearance — in crimson velvet and a spangled turban, with a deep fall of gold fringe — and, except the " Prince" — as we call K. I. — we are all fit to receive the Emperor of Eussia. In the evening we have music and a game of cards, except on the Opera nights, which we never miss ; and then, with a nice warm supper at twelve o'clock, MoUy, we close as pleasant a day as you could wish. Of course I can't teU you much more about the Countess, for I'm unable to talk to her, but she and Mary Anne are never asunder; and,' though Cary still plays cold and retired, she can't help calling her a lovely creature. It seems there is some new difficulty about the dispensation ; and the -Cardinal requires her to do " some meritorious works," I think they call them, before he'U ask for it. But if ever there was a saintly young creature, it is herself ; and I hear she's up at five o'clock every morning, just to attend first mass. Here they are now, coming up the stairs, and I haven't more than time to seal this, and write myself Tour attached friend, Jemima Dodd. Mary Anne begs you will teU Kitty Doolan that she has not been able to write to her, with all the occupation she has lately had, but will take the very first moment to send her at least a few lines. As James's good luck will soon be no secret, you may teU it to Kitty, and I think it won't be thrown away on her, as I suspect she was making eyes at him herself, though she might be his mother ! THE BODD TAMIir ABROAD. 509 LETTEE LVIII. MISS MABT AKNE SODD TO MISS DOOLAN, OE BALLTDOOLAN. Farma. Deaeest Kitty, It is but seldom I tave to bespeak your indulgence on the score of my brevity, but I must do so now, overwhelmed as I am with occu- pation, and scarcely a moment left me that I can really call my own. Mamma's letter to Old MoUy will have explained to you the great for- tune which has befallen James, and, I might add, also, aU who belong to him. And really, dearest, with all the assurance the evidence of my own senses can convey, I stiU find it difficult to credit such un- paralleled luck. Fancy beauty, — and such beauty — ^youth, genius, mind, rank, and a large fortune, thrown, I may say, at his feet ! She is Spanish, by the mother's side ; " Las Caldenhas," I think the name, whose father was a Grandee of the first class. Her own father was the General Count de St. Amand, who commanded in the celebrated battle of Austerlitz in the retreat from Moscow. I'm sure, dearest, you'U be amazed at my familiarity with these historical events, but the truth is, she is a perfect treasury. of such knowledge, and I must needs gain some little by the contact. I am at a loss how to give you any correct notion of one whose universality seems to impart to her character all the semblance of con- tradictory qualities. She is, for instance, proud and haughty, to a degree little short of insolence. She exacts from men a species of de- ference little less than a slavish submission. As she herself says, " Let them do homage." All her ideas of life and society are formed on the very grandest scale. She has known, in fact, but one " set," and that has been one where Eoyalties moved as private individuals. Her very trinkets recal such memories ; and I have passed more than one morning admiring pearl earrings, with the cipher of the Czara- witsch ; bracelets with the initials of an Austrian Archduke, and a dia- mond cross, which she forgot whether it was given her by Prince Mettemich or Mehemet Ali. If you only heard her, too, how she talks of that " dear old thing, the ex-King of Bavaria," and with what afiection- ate regard she alludes to "her second self — the Queen of Spain/' you'd feel at once, dearest Kitty, that you were moving amidst' crowns and sceptres, with the rustle of royal purple beside, and the shadow of a thronely canopy over you. In one sense, this has been for us the 51Q THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAD. very rarest piece of good fortune ; for, accustomed as ste has been to only one sphere — and that the very highest — she does not detect many little peculiarities in Papa's and Mamma's habits, and censure them as vulgar, but rather accepts them as the ways and customs among ordinary nobility. In fact, die thinks the Prince, as she calls Papa, the very image of "Pozzo di Borgo ;" and Mamma she can scarcely see without saying, " Your Majesty," she is so like the Queen, Dowager of Piedmont. As to James, if it were not that I knew her real sentiments, and that she loves him to distraction, — ^merely judging from what goes on in society — I should say he had not a chance of success. She takes pleasure; I almost think, in decrying the very qualities he has most pretension to. She even laughs at his horsemanship ; and yesterday went so far as to say that activity was not amongst his perfections — James, who really is the very type of agility ! One of her amusements- is to propose to him some impossible feat or other, and the poor boy has nearly broten his back and dislocated his limbs by contortions that nothing^ but a fish could accomplish. But the contrarieties of her nature do not end here ! She, so grave, so dignified, so imperious, I might even call it, before others, once alone with me becomes the wildest creature in existence. The very moment she makes her escape to her own room, she can scarcely control her- delight at throw- ing off the " Countess,", as she says herself, and being once again free, joyous, and unconstrained, I have told her, over and over again, that if James only knew her in these moods, that he would adore her even more than he does now ; but she only laughs, and says, " "Well, time enough ; he shaU see me so one of these days." It was not till after ten or twelve days that she admitted me to her real confidence. The maimer of it was itself curious. "Are you sleepy," said she to me, one evening as we went up-stairs to bed, " for, if not, come and pay me a, visit in my room." I accepted the invitation ; and after exchanging my evening robe for a dressing-gown, hastened to the chamber. I could scarcely be- lieve my eyes as I entered !' She was seated on a richly embroidered cushion on the floor, dressed in Turkish fashion, loose trousers of goH-sprigged muslin, with a small fez of scarlet cloth on her head, and a jacket of the same coloured velvet. almost concealed beneath its golden embroidery ; a splendid scimitar lay beside her, and a most costly pipe, in pure Turkish taste, which, however, she did not make use of, but smoked a small paper cigarette instead. " Come, dearest," said she, "turn the key in the door, and light your cigar'; here we are at length free and happy." It was in vain that I assured her I never had tried to smoke. At first she wouldn't 4-^ C^^^Z^^^ THE DOBD PAMUr ABEOAB-. 511 believe, and then she actually screanjed witt laughter at me. " One would fancy," said she, " that you had only left England yesterday; Why, ehil(^ where have you lived, and with whom ?" I cannot go over all she said ; nor need I repeat the efforts I made to palliate my want of knowledge of Hfe, which she really appeared to grieve over. " I should never think of asking your sister here," said she ; " there is a frivolity in aU. her gaiety — a, light-heaa^edness, without senti- ment — ^that I cannot abide ; but you, ma chere, you have a nature akin to my own. Tou ought, and, indeed, must be one of us." So far as I could collect, Eitty — &r remember I was smoking^ my first cigarette all thia time, and not particularly clear of head — there is a set in Parisian society, thei most exdusive and refined of all, who have voted the emancipation of woman from all the slavery and degradation to which, the social usages of the world at large would condemn them. Eightly judging that the expansion of inteUigenee is to be acquired only in greater Kberty ef action, they have admitted them, to a freer community and participation in the themes which occupy men's thoughts, and the habits which accompany their moods of reflection. Gifted, as we coitfesaedly are, with nicer and more acute perceptions,, finer powers of discrimination and judgment, greater delicacy of feeling, and more apt appreciation of the beautiful and the; true, why should we deacend to an intellectual bondage ?. As dearest Josephine says : "Our influence to be beneficial should be candidly and openly exercised, not furtively practised, and cunningly insinuated. Let us' leave these arts to women who want to rule theij; husbands; our destiny be it — to sway mankind !" Her theory, so far as I understand it, is that men will not endure petty rivalries, but succumb at once to superior arfitainments. Thus, your masculine young lady, Kitty — your creature of boisterous manners, slang, aiid slap-dash — is invariably a disgust; but your true "Iiiomie," gifted, yet graceful, possessing every manly accomplishment, and yet em- ploying her knowledge to enhance the charms of her society and render herself more truly companionablej the equal of men in culture, their superior in, taste and refinement, exercises a despotic influence around her. Men will quit the salon for the play-table.. Let us, them, be gamblers for the nonce, and we shall not be deserted. They smoke, that they may get together and talk with a freedom and a licence not used before ua. Let ua adopt the custom', and we are no longer debarred from their intimacy and the power of infusing the refining influences of our sex through their barbarism ! As Josephine says : 512 THE BODD FAMILY ABEOAD. ""We are the Martyrs, now, that we may be the Masters, here- after !" I grew very faint, once or twice, while she was talking; and, indeed, at last, was obliged to lie down, and have my temples bathed with Eau-de-Cologne ; so that I unluckily lost many of her strongest arguments and happiest illustrations ; but, from frequent conversa- tions since, and from reading some of the beautiful romances of " George Sand," I have attained to, if not a full appreciation, at least an unbounded admiration of this beautiful system. Have I forgotten to teU you that we met the Prince of Pontremoli on our way here ? — a Serene Highness, Kitty ! but as easy and as familiar as my brother James. The droUest thing is, that he has lived while in England with all the " fast people," and only talks a species of conventional slang in vogue amongst them; but for all that he is delightful — fuU of gaiety and good spirits, and has the' wickedest dark eyes you ever beheld. Dear Josephine's caprices are boundless ! Yesterday she read of a black Arabian that the Imaum of somewhere was sending as a present to General Lamoriciere, and she immediately said, " Oh, the General is exiled now, he can't want a charger — send and get him for me." Poor James is out all the morning in search of some one to despatch on this difficult service ; but how it is to be accomplished — not to speak of where the money is to come from — ^is an unreadable riddle to Tour affectionate and devoted Maet Anne Dodd. Tou wiU doubtless be dissatisfied, dearest Kitty, if I seal this without inserting one word about myself and my own prospects. But what can I say, save that aU is mist-wreathed and shadowy in the dim future before me. Se has said nothing since. I see — ^it is but too plain to see — the anguish that is tearing his very heart- strings ; but he buries his sorrow within his soul, and I am not free even to weep beside the sepulchre! Oh, dearest, when you read what George Sand has written — when you come to ponder over the miseries the fatal institution of marriage has wrought in the world — ^the fond hearts broken — the noble natures crushed, and the proud spirits degraded — you will only wonder why the tyranny has been borne so long ! and exclaim with me : " When — oh, when shall we be free!" THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAD. 513 LETTEE LIX. KENNY JAMES DODD TO THOMAS PCRCELL, ESQ., OF THE GEANGE, BRUFF. Parma. Mt deae Tom, The little gleam of sunshine that shone upon us for the last week or SO, has turned out to be but the prelude of a regular hurricane, and all our feasting and merriment have ended ia gloom, darkness, and dis- union. Mrs. D.'s letter to old Molly has made known to you the circumstances under which James returned home to us, without ever having gone to London. Tou, of course, know all about the lovely young widow, with her immensejointure and splendid connexions. If you do ncft, I must say that from my heart and soul I envy you, for I have heard of nothing else for the last fortnight ! At all events, you have heard enough to satisfy you that the house of Dodd was about to garnish its escutcheon with some very famous quarterings — illustrious, enough, even to satisfy the pride of the M'Carthys. A Cardinal's daughter — niece I mean — ^with four thousand a year, had deigned to ally herself with us, and we were all running breast high in the blaze of our great success. She came here on a visit to us while some negotiations were being concluded with the Papal Court, for we were great folk, Tom, let me tell you, and have been performing, so to say, in the same piece with Popes, Kings, and Cardinals, for the last month ; and I, myself, under the style and title of the " Prince," have narrowly escaped going mad from the unceasing influences of delusions, shams, and imposi- tions in which we have been living and moving. Of our extravagant mode of Ufe, I'll only aay, that I don't think there was anything omitted which could contribute to ruin a mode- rate income. Splendid apartments, grand dinners, horses, carriages, servants, opera-boxes, bouquets, were all put in requisition to satisfy the young Countess that she was about to make a suitable alliance, and that any deficiencies observable in either our manners or breeding, were fully compensated for by our taste in cookery and our tact in wine. To.be plain, Tom, to obtain this young widow with four thou- sand a year, we had to pretend to be possessed of about four times as much. It was a regular game of " Brag" we were playing, and with a very bad hand of cards ! 2l 514 THE DODD FAMILY ABE0A3). Hope led me on from day to day, trusting that each post would bring us the wished-for consent, and that at least a priyate marriage would ratify the compact. Popes and Cardinals, however, are too stately for fast movements, and at the end of five weeks we hadn't, so far as I coiild see, gained an inch of ground ! At one time his Holiness had gone off to Alhano to bless some- body's bones, or the bones were coming to bless him, I forget which. At another, the King of Naples, fatigued with signing warrants for death and the galleys, desired to enjoy a little repose ffom public business. Cardinal Antonelli, hearing that we were Irish, got in a rage, and said that Ireland gave them no peace at aU. And so it came to pass that the old thief — procrastination — ^was at his usual knavery ; and for want of better, set to work to xuin poor Kenuy Dodd! It is only fair to observe, that except Cary and myself, nobody manifested any great impatience at this delay ; and even she, I be- lieve, merely felt it out of regard for me. The others seemed satisfied to fare sumptuously every day, and assuredly the course of true love ran moat smoothly along in rivulets of mock " turtle" and " potages a la fiancee." At last, Tom, I brought myself to boot with the simple question, " How long can this continue ? "WiU your capital stand it for a month, or even a week ?" Before I attempted the answer I sent for Mrs. D., to give her the honour of solving the riddle if she could. Our interview took place in a little crib they call my dressing-room, but which I must remark to you, is a dark comer under a stair- case, where the rats hold a parliament every night of the season. Mrs. D. was so shocked with the locality, that she proposed our ad- journing to her own apartment ; and thither we at once repaired to hold our council. I have too often wearied you with our domestic differences to make any addition to such recitals pleasant to either of us. Tou know us both thoroughly, besides, and can have no difficulty in filling up the debate which ensued. Enough, that I say Mrs. D. was more than usually herself. She was grandly eloquent on the prospect of the great alliance ; contemptuously indifferent about the petty sacrifice it was to cost us ; caustically criticised the narrow-mindedness by which I measured such grandeur ; winding up all with the stereotyped com- parison between Dodds and M'Carthys, with which she usually con- cludes an engagement, just as they play " God save the Queen" at VauxhaH to show that the fireworks are over. "And now," said I, " that we have got over preliminaries, when is this marriage to come off?" THE rOBD I'AMIIiT ABEOAB. 515 "Ask the Pope wken he'U sign the Bull," said she, tartly. " Do you know," said I, " I think the ' Bull is a mistake ;' " but she didnt take the joke, and I went on. " After that, what delays are there ?" " I suppose the settlement wiU. take some time. You'll have to make a suitable provision for James, to give him a handsome allow- ance out of the Estate." "Egad, Mrs. D.," said I, "it must be out of it with a vengeance, for there's no man living will advance five hundred upon it." " And who wants them ?" said she, amgrily. " Ton know what I mean, well enough !" " Upon my conscience, Ma'am, I do not," said I. " Tou must just take pity on my stupidity and enlighten me." "Isn't it clear, Mr. D.," said she, "that when marrying a woman with a large fortune he ought to have something himself?" " It would he better he had ; no doubt of it !" " And if he hasn't ? if what should have come to hiTii was squan- dered and made away with by a life of No matter, I'U restrain my feelings." " Don't, then," said I, " for I find that mine would like a little expansion." It took her five minutes, and a hard struggle besides, before she could resume. She had, so to say, " taken off the gloves," Tom, and it went hard vrith her not to have a few " rounds" for her pains. By degrees, however, she calmed down to explain, that by a settlement on James she never contemplated actual value, but an inconvertible medium — a mere parchmentajy figment to represent lands and tene- ments, just, in feet, what we had done before, and with such memorable success in Mary Anne's case. " No," said I, aloud and at once — " no more of that humbi^ ! Tou got me into that mess before I knew where I was. Tou involved me in such a maze of embarrassments that I was glad to take any, even a bad road, to get away from them. But you'E not catch me in the same scrape again ; and rather than deliberately sit down to sign, seal, and deliver myself a swindler, James must die a bachelor, that's all!" If I had told her, Tom, that I was going into Holy Orders, and in- tended to be Bishop of Madagascar, she could not have stared at me with more surprise. " What's come over you ?" said she, at last ; " what's the meaning of all these elegant fine sentiments and scruples P Are you going to die, Mr. D. ? ia it making your soul you are ?" 2.L2 516 THE BODD lAMILT ABROAD. " However unmannerly the confession, Mrs. D.," said I, " I'm afraid I'm not going to die ; but the simple truth is, that I can't be a rogae in cold blood ; maybe, if I had the luck to be bom a M'Carthy, I might have had better ideas on the subject" — ^this was a poke at Morgan James M'Carthy that was transported for altering a wiU. She couldn't speak with passion, she was struck dumb with rage, and so, finding the enemy's artillery spiked, I opened a brisk fire at musket-range ; in other words, I told her, that all we had been hitherto doing abroad rarely went beyond making ourselves ridicu- lous, but, that, though I liked fun, I wouldn't push a joke as far as a felony. And, finally, I declared, in a loud and very unmistakable manner, that as I hadn't a sixpence to settle on James, I'd not go through the mockery of engrossing a lie on parchment. That I thought very meanly of the whole farce we were carrying on ; and that if I was only sure I could make myself intelligible in my IVench, I'd just go straight to the Countess and say — I'm afraid to write the words as I spoke them, lest my spelling should be even worse than my pronunciation, for they were in French, but the meaning was — " I'm no more a Prince than I'm Primate of Ireland. I'm a small country Q-entleman, with an embarrassed estate and a rascally tenantry. I came abroad for economy, and it has almost ruined me. If you like my son, there he is for you, but don't flatter yourself that we possess either nobility or fortune !" " You've done it now, you old ," the epithet was lost in a scream, Tom, for she went off in strong hysterics, so I just rung the bell for Mary Anne, and slipped quietly away to my own room. I trust it is a good conscience does it for me, but I find that I can almost always sleep soundly when I go to bed ; and it is a great bless- ing, Tom, for let me tell you, that after five or six-and-fiffcy, one's waking hours have more annoyances than pleasures about them ; but the world is just like a man's mistress : he cares most for it when it is least fond of him ! I slept like a humming-top, and, indeed, there's no saying when I should have awoke, if it hadn't been for the knocking they kept up at my door. It was Cary at last got admittance, and I had only to look in her face to see that a misfortune had befallen us. " "What is it, my dear ?" said I. " All kinds of worry and confusion, Pappy," said she, taking my hand in both of hers. " The Countess is gone." " Gone ?— how ?— where ?" " Grone. Started this morning — indeed, before daybreak — I be- THE DODD PAMILT ABEOAD. 517 lieve for Genoa ; but there's no knowing, for the people haTe been evidently bribed to secrecy." " "What for ? with what object ?" ' ■" The short of the matter is this, Pappy. She appears to have over- heard some conversation — evidently intended to be of a private nature — that passed between you and Mamma last night. How she under- stood it does not appear, for of course you didn't talk Trench." " Let that pass. Proceed." " Whatever it was that she gathered, or fancied she gathered, one thing is certain, she immediately summoned her maid, and gave orders to pack up ; post-horses were also ordered, but all with the greatest secrecy. Meanwhile, she indited a short note to Mary Anne, in which, after apologising for a very unceremonious departure, she refers her to you and to Mamma for the explanation, with a half-sar- castic remark, ' that family confidences had much better be conducted in a measured tone of voice, and confined to the vernacular of the speakers.' With a very formal adieu to James, whom she styles ' votre estimable frere,' the letter concludes with an assurance of deep and sincere consideration on the part of Josephine de St. A." " What does all this mean ?" exclaimed I, with a terrible misgiving, Tom, that I knew only too well how the mischief originated. " That is exactly what I want you to explain, Pappy," said she, " for the letter distinctly refers to something within your knowledge." " I must see the document itself," said I, cautiously ; " fetch me the letter." " James carried it ofi'with him." " Off with him — why, is he gone too ?" " Tes, Pappy, he started with post-horses after her — at least, so far as he could make out the road she travelled. Poor fellow ! he seemed almost out of his mind when he left this." " And your Mother, how is she ?" Gary shook her head mournfully. Ah, Tom, I needed but the gesture to show me what was in store for me. My fertile imagination daguerreotyped a great family picture, in which I was shortly to fill a most lamentable part. My prophetic soul — as a Novelist would call it — depicted me once more in the dock, arraigned for the ruin of my children, the wreck of their prospects, and the downfal of the Dodds. I fancied that even Gary would turn against me, and almost thought I could hear her muttering, " Ah, it was Papa did it all !" While I was thus communing with myself, I received a message from Mrs. D.,'that she wished to see me. I take shame to myself for the 518 THE BOBD I'AMILT ABBOAS. confession, Tom, but I own tliat I felt it like an order to come up for sentence. There could be no longer any question of my guilt — my trial was over — there remained nothing but to hear the last words of the Law, which seemed to say, " Kenny Dodd, you have been con- victed of a great offence. By your blundering stupidity — your un- bridled tenq)er — and your gratuitous folly — ^you have destroyed your son's chance of worldly fortune — blasted his affections — and — and lost him four thousand a year. But your iniquity does not end even here. Tou have also"-r-As I reached this, the door opened, and Mrs. D., in her " buff coat," as I used to call a certain flaniiel dressing-govm thai she ugualy donned for battle, slowly entered, followed by Mary Ajine, with [a whols pharmacopoeia of restoratives — an " ambulance" that plainly predicted hot -work before us. Eesolving that our duel should have no witnesses, I turned the girls out of the room, and for the same reason do I preserve a rigid secrecy as to aU the details of our engagement ; enough when I say, that the sun went down upon our wrath, and it was near nightfall when we drew off our forces. Though I fought vigorously, and with the courage of despair, I couldn't get over the fact that it was my unhappy explosion in I"rench that did all the mischief. I tried hard to make it appear that her sudden departure was rather a boon than otherwise — ^that our expenses were terrific, and, moreover, that, as I was determined against any fictitious settlement, her flight had only anticipated a certain catastrophe ; but all these devices availed me little against my real culpability, which no casuistry could get over. " "Well, Ma'am," said I, at last, " one thing is quite clear — ^the Continent does not suit us. All ouj experience of foreign life and manners neither guides us in difficulty, nor warns us when in danger. Let us go back to where we are, at least, as wise as our neighbours — where we are familiar with the customs, and where, whatever our shortcomings, we meet with the indulgent judgment that comes of old acquaintance." " "Where's that ?" said she. " I'm curious to know where is this elegant garden of Paradise ?" " Bruff, Ma'am — our own neighbourhood." " Wlere we were always in hot water with every one. Were you ever out of a squabble on the Bench, or at the Poor-house ? "Weren't you always disputing about land with the tenants, and about water with the miller ? Hadn't you a row at every Assizes, and a skirmish at every road Session ? Bruff, indeed ; it's a new thing to hear it called the Happy Valley !" " Paith, I know I'm not Easselas," said I. THE DODD TAMILT AJBBOAJ).. 319 " You're restless enough," said slie, mistaking the word ; " but it's your own temper that does it. No, Mr. D., if you want to go back to Ireland, I won't be selfish enough to oppose it ; but as for myself, rU never set a foot in it." " Ton are determined on that?" said I. "I am," said she. "In that case. Ma'am," said I, "I'm only losiag valuable time waiting for you to change your miad, so I'll start at once." " A pleasant journey to you, Mr. D.," said she, flounciug out of the room and leaving me the field of battle, but scarcely the victory. Now, Tom, I've too much to do and to think about, to discuss the point that I know you're eager for — which of us was more in the wrong. Such debates are only casuistry from beginning to end. Besides, at aU events, my mind is made up. I'U. go back at once. The little there ever was of anything good about me is fast oozing away in this life of empty parade and vanity. Mary Anne and James are both the worse of it ; who knows how long Gary wiU resist its evil influence? Ill go down to Genoa, and take the Peninsular steamer straight for Southampton. I'm a bad sailor, but it will save me a few pounds, and some patience besides, in escaping the lying and cheating scoundrels I should meet with in a land journey. To any of the neighbours, you may say that I'm coming home for a few weeks to look after the tenants ; and to any whom you think would believe it, just hint that the Government has sent for me. I conclude that I'U be very short of cash when I reach Genoa, so send me anything you can lay hands on, and believe me. Ever yours faithfully, Kenttt James Dodd. P.S. — I told you this was a cheap place. The BiU has just come up, and it beats the Clarendon ! It appears that his Serene Highness told them to treat us like Princes, and we must pay in the same style. I'm going to settle part of our debt by parting with our travellLng- carriage, which, besides assisting the exchequer, will be a great shock to Mrs. D., and a foretaste of what she has to come down to when I'm gone. It is seldom that a man can combine the double excel- lence of a great Pinancier and a great Moralist ! 520. THE BODD tamut absoad. LETTER LX. MAST ANNE DODD TO MISS DOOLAN, OF BALLTDOOLA N. Cour de Farme, Farma. Dbabest Kittt, So varied have been my emotions of late, and with such whirlwind rapidity have they succeeded each other in my distracted brain, that I am really at a loss to know where I left off in my last epistle to you, and at what partieidar crisis in our adventures I closed my nar- rative. Eorgive me, dearest, if I impose on you the tiresome task of listening twice to the same tale, or the almost equally unpleasant duty of trying to follow me through gaps of unexplained events. Have I told you of the Countess's departure — that most mysteri- ous flight, which has thrown poor James into, I fear, a hopeless melan- choly, and make shipwreck of his heart for ever ? I feel as if I had revealed it to my dearest Kitty ; my soul whispers to me that she bears her share in my sorrows, and mingles her tears with mine. Tes, dearest, she is gone ! Some indiscreet revelations Papa made to Mamma in his room, would appear to have disclosed more of our pri- vate affairs than ought to have obtained publicity, were overheard by her, and she immediately gave orders to her servants to pack up, leaving a very vague note behind her, plainly intimating, however, that Papa might, if he pleased, satisfactorily' account for the step she had taken. This, and a few almost flippant acknowledgments of our attentions, concluded an epistle that fell in the midst of us Uke a rocket. If I feel deeply wounded at the slight thus shown us, and the still heavier injury inflicted on poor dear James, yet am I constrained to confess that Josephine was quite justified in what she did. Born in the very highest class, all her habits, her ways, her very instincts aristocratic, the bare thought of an alliance vsdth a family strug- gling with dubious circumstances must have been too shocking ! I did not ever believe that she returned James's affection ; she liked him, perhaps, well enough — that is, well enough to marry! She deemed him her equal in rank and fortune, and in that respect re- garded the match as a fair one. To learn that we were neither titled nor rich, neither great by station nor rolling in wealth, was of course to feel that she had been deceived and imposed upon, and might reasonably warrant even the half-sarcastic spirit of her fare- well note. THE DODD TAMILX ABEOAD. 521 To tell what misery this has cost us all is quite heyond me ; scorned affection — ^blasted hopes — ambitions scattered to the winds — a glorious future annihilated I Conceive aU of these that you can, and then couple them with meaner and more Tulgar regrets, as to what enormous extravagance the pursuit has involved us in, the ex- pense of a style of living that even a Priace could scarcely have main- tained, and all at a little secluded capital where nobody comes, no- body lives ; so that we do not reap even the secondary advantage of that notoriety for which we have to pay so dearly. Mamma and I, who think precisely alike on these subjects, are overwhelmed with misery as we reflect over what the money thus squandered would have done at Home, Elorence, or Vienna ! James is distracted, and Papa sits poring aU. day long over papers and accounts,' by way of arranging his affairs before his death. Gary alone maintains her equanimity, for which she may thank the heart- lessness of a nature insensible to all feeling. Imagine a family circle of such ingredients ! Think of us as you saw us last, even in all the darkness of Dodsborough, 'and you will find it difficult to believe we are the same ! Yet, dearest, it might aU have been different — ^how different! But Papa — there is no use trying to conceal it — has a talent for ruining the prospects of his family, that no individual advantages, no combination of events, how- ever felicitous, can avail against ! An absurd and most preposterous notion of being what he calls " honest and aboveboard" leads him to excesses of every kind, and condemns us to daily sorrows and humilia- tions. It is in vain that we tell him nobody parades his debts no more than his infirmities ; that people wear their best faces for the world, and that credit is the same principle in morals as in mercan- tile affairs. His reply is, " No. I'm tired of all that. I never per- form a great part without longing for the time when I shall be Kenny Dodd again !" This one confession will explain to you the hopelessness of all our efforts to rise in life, and our last resource is in the prospect of his going back to Ireland. Mamma has already proposed to accept a thousand a year for herself and me ; while Gary should return with Papa to Dodsborough. It is possible that this arrangement might have been concluded ere this, but that Papa has got a relapse of his gout, and been laid up for the last eight days. He refuses to see any Doctor, saying that they all drive the malady in by depletion, and has taken to drinking port wine all day long, by way of confining th& attack to his foot. What is to be the success of this treatment has yet to be seen, but up to this time its only palpable effect has been to 522 THE BODD FAMILY ABEOAD. make him like a chained tiger. He roars and shouts fearfully, and has smashed all the more portable articles of furniture iu the room — throwing them at the waiters. He insists, besides, on having his BUI made up every night, so that instead of one grand engagement once a week, we have now a sharp skirmish every evening, which usually lasts tin bedtime. For economy, too, we have gone up to the second story, and come down to a very meagre dinner. No carriage — ^no saddle-horses — no Theatre. The Courier dismissed, and a strict order at the Bar against all "extras." James lies all day a bed; Gary plays Nurse to Papa; Mamma and I sit moping beside a little miserable stove tiU evening, when we receive our one solitary visitor — a certain Father M'Grrail — ^an Irish Priest — who has been resident here for thirty years, and is known as the Padre Griacomo ! He is a spare, thin, pock-marked little man, with a pair of downcast, I was going to say, dishonest-looking eyes, who talks with an accent as rich as though he only left Kilrush yester- day. We have only known him ten days, but he has already got an immense influence over Mamma, and induced her to read innumerable little books, and to practise a variety of smaU penances besides. I suspect he is rather afraid of me — at least we maintain towards each other a kind of armed neutrality ; but Mamma wiU. not suffer me to breathe a vrord against him. It is not unlikely that he owes much of the esteem Mamma feels for him to his own deprecatory estimate of Papa, whom he pronounces to be, in many respects, almost as infamous as a Protestant. Gary he only alludes to by throwing up hands and eyes, and seeming to infer that she is irrecoverably lost. I own to you, Eitty, I don't like him — ^I scarcely trust him — ^but it is, after all, such a resource to have any one to talk to, anything to break the duUmonotony of this dreary life, that I hail his coming with pleasure, and am actually working a rochet, or an alb, or a something else for him to wear on Saint Mcolo of Treviso's " festa" — an occa- sion on which the little man desires to appear with eatraordinary splendour. Mamma, too, is making a canopy to hold over his honoured head ; and I sincerely hope that our " oeuvres meritoires" wfll redound to our future advantage ! I am half afraid that I have shocked you with an apparent irreverence in speaking of these things, but I must confess to you, dearest Kitty, that I am occasionally pro- voked beyond all bounds by the degree of influence this small Saint exercises in our family, and by no means devoid of apprehension lest his dominion should become absolute. Even already he has per- THE BOBD EAMIIT ABBOAD. 523 suaded Mamma that Papa's iUneas will resist all medical skill to "the end of time, and will only yield to the intervention of a certain Saint Agatha of Orsaro, a newly-discovered miracle-worker, of whose fame you will doubtless hear much ere long. To my infinite astonishment, Papa is quite converted to this opinion, and Gary teUs me is most impatient to set out for Orsaro, a little village at the foot of the mountain of that name, and ahout thirty miles from this. As the only approach is by a bridle-path, we are to travel on mules or asses ; and I look forward to the excursion, if not exactly with pleasure, with some interest. Pather G-iacomo — I can't call him anything else — has already written to secure rooms for us at the little Inn ; and we are, meanwhile, basely employed in the manu- facture of certain pilgrim costumes, which are indispensable to all fre- quenting the holy shrine. The dress is far from unbecoming, I assure you; a loose robe of white stuff — ours are Cashmere — with wide sleeves, and a large hood, Uned with sky blue ; a cord of the same colour round the waist ; no shoes or stockings, but light sandals, which show the foot to perfection. An amber rosary is the only ornament permitted ; but the whole is charming. Saint Agatha of Orsaro wiU, unquestionably, make a great noise in the world ; and it wiU, therefore, be interesting to you to know s^mething of her history — or, what Pra Gtiacomo more properly calls, her manifestation — which was in this wise : The Priest of Orsaro — a very devout and excellent man — ^had occasion to go into the church late at night on the Eve of Saint Agatha's festival. He was anxious, I believe, to see that all the decorations to do honour to the day were in proper order, and, taking a lamp from the sacristy, he walked down the aisle tiU. he came to the shrine, where the Saint's image stood. He knelt for a moment to address her in prayer, when, with a sudden sneeze, she extinguished his light, and left him Muting and in darkness on the floor of the church. In this fashion was he discovered the following morning, when, after coming to himself, he made the revelation I have just given you. Since that she has been known to sneeze three times, and on each occasion a miracle has followed. The fame of this wonderfiil occurrence has now traversed Italy ; and will doubtless soon extend to the Paithful in every part of Europe. Orsaro is becoming crowded with penitents ; among whom I am gratified to see the names of many of the English Aristocracy ; and it has become quite a &shioDable thing to pass a week or ten days there. Now, dearest JEitty, from yon, with whom I have no <»HicealmentB, I win not disguise the. confession that I look forward to this excur- 524 THE BODD FAMILT ABBOAD. sion with considerable hope and expectation. Ton cannot but have perceived latterly how our Paith, instead of being, as it once was, the symbol of low birth and ignoble connexions, has become the very bond of Aristocratic society. . The Church has become the salon wherein we make our most valued acquaintances ; and devout obser- vances are equivalent to letters of introduction. If I wanted a proof of this, I'd give it in the number of those who have become converts to our religion, from the manifest social benefits the change of Paith has conferred. How otherwise would third and fourth-rate Pro- testants obtain access to Princely soirees and Ducal receptions ? By what other road could they arrive at recognition in the society of Eome and Naples, frequent Cardinals' Levees, and be even seen lounging in the ante-chambers of the Vatican ? Hence it is clear that the true Faith has its benefits in ihis world also, and that piety is a passport to high places even on Earth ! I have no doubt, if we manage properly, our sojourn at Orsaro may be made very profitable, and that, even mthout miracles, the excursion may pay us weU. I have been interrupted by a message to attend Mamma in her own room — a summons I rightly guessed to imply something of im- portance. Only fancy, Kitty — it was a letter which had arrived ad- dressed to Papa — but of course not given to him to read in hfs present highly agitated state — from Captain Morris, with a proposal for Caroline ! He very properly sets out by acknowledging the great difierence of age between them, but he might certainly have added something as to the discrepancy between their stations. He talks, too, of his small means, " sufficient for those who can limit their ambitions and wants within a narrow circle," — I wonder who they are? — and pro- fesses a deal of that cold kind of respectful love which all old men afiectto think a woman ought to feel flattered by. In fact, the whole reads far more like a law paper than a love-letter, and is rather a rough draft of an Act of Parliament against celibacy, than a pro- posal for a pretty girl ! Mamma had shown the letter to Fra Giacomo before I entered, and I had very little trouble to guess the efiect produced by his counsels. The Captain, as a Heretic, was at once denounced by hitn ; and the little man grew actually enthusiastic in inveighing against the insulting presumption of the ofier. He insisted on a peremptory, flat rejection of the proposal, without any reference whatever to Papa. He said that to hesitate in such a question was in itself a ain ; and he even hinted that he wasn't quite sure what reception Saint Agatha THE DODD rAMirr ABEOAB. 525 might vouchsafe us, after so much of intercourse with an outcast and a disbeliever. This last argument was decisive, and I accordingly sat down and wrote, in Mamma's name, a very stiff acknowledgment of the receipt of his letter, and an equally cold refusal of the honour it tendered for our acceptance. "We all agreed that Gary should hear nothing whatever of the matter, hut, as Fra Giacomo said, " we'd keep the disgrace for our own hearts." I own to you, Kitty, that if the religious question coiild be got over, I do not think the thing so inadmissible. Gary is evidently not destined to advance our family interests : had she even the capa- city, she lacks the ambition. Her tastes are humble, common-place, and — shall I say it ? — vulgar. It gives her no pleasure to move in high society, and she esteems the stupid humdrum of domestic life as the very supreme of happi- ness. With such tastes this old Gaptain — ^he is five-and-thirty at least — would perhaps have suited her perfectly, and his intolerable Mother been quite a companion. Their small fortune, too, would have consigned them to some cheap, out-of-the-way place, where we should not have met — and, in fact, the arrangement might have combined a very fair share of advantages. Fra G-., however, had decided the matter on higher grounds, and there is no more to be said about it. There is another letter come by this post, too, from Lord Greorge, dearest ! He is to arrive to-night, if he can get horses. He is fuU of some wonderful Tournament about to be held at Grenoa — a spec- tacle to be given by the city to the King, which is to attract aU the world thither ; and Lord G. writes to say that we haven't a moment to lose in securing accommodation at the Hotel. Little suspecting the frame of mind his communication is to find us in, and that, in place of doughty deeds and chivalrous exploits, our thoughts are turned to fastings, mortifications, and whipcord ! Oh, how I shudder at the ridicule with which he will assail us, 'and tremble for my own constancy imder the raillery he will shower on us ! I never dreaded his coming before, and would give worlds now that anything could prevent his arrival. , How reconcile his presence with that of Pra Giacomo ? How protect the Priest from the overt quizzings of my Lord ? and how rescue his Lordship from the secret machinations of the " Father ?" are difficulties that I know not how to face. Mamma, besides is now so totally under Priestly guidance, that she would sacrifice the whole Peerage for a shaving of a Saint's shin-bone! There wiU not 526 THE DODD EAMILT ASBOAS. be CTen time left me to concu."-!; measures with Lord G-. The mo- ment he enters the house, he'l] see the " altered temper of our ways" in a thousand instances. Eelics, missals, heads, and rosaries, have replaced Gravami's etchings, Pv.mh, and the nVustralmm. Charms and amulets blessed by Popes occupy the places of eigar-holders, pipe-sticks, and gutta-pereha drolleries. The " Stabat Mater " has usurped the seat of " Casta Diva "■ on the: piano, and a number of other unmistakable signs point to our reformed condition. I hear post-horses approaching — they come nearer aaid nearer ! Tes, Kitty, it must . be — it is he ! James has met him — they are already on the stairs — how they laugh! James must be telling him everything. I knew he would. Another burst of that unfeeling laughter ! They are at the door. Good-by I Mount Orsaro, " La Pace." Here we are, dearest, at the end of onr Pilgrimage. Such a de- lightful excursion I never remember to have taken. I told you all about my fears of Lord George, "Woald that I had never written the Tongracious lines ! — ^never so foully wronged him ! Instead of the levity I apprehended, he is actually reverential — ^I niight say, devout ! The moment he reached Parma, he ordered a dress to be made for him exactly like James's, and dbcided immediately on accompanying us. !Fra Giacomo, I need scarcely observe, was in ecstasies. The prospect of such a noble convert would be an immense piece of suc- cess, and he did not hesitate to avow, would materially advance his own interests at Home. As for the journey, Kitty, I have no words to describe the scenery through which we travelled: deep glens between lofly mountains, wooded to the very summits with cork and chestnut-trees, over which, towering aloft, were seen the peaks of the great Apenmnes, glistening in snow, or golden in the glow of sunset. Wending along through these our little procession went, in itself no unpicturesque feature, for we were obliged to advance in single file along the nari-ow pathway, and thus our mules, with their scaiiet trappings, and tasseled bridles, and our floating costumes, made up an effect which wiU. remain painted on my heart for ever. In reality, I made a sketch of the scene ; but Lord George, who for the conyenience of talking tome always rode with his face to the mule's tail, made me laugh so often, that my drawing is quite spoiled. At last, we arrived at the little Inn called "La Pace" — how beautifully it sounds, dearest ! and reaUy stands so, too, beside a gushing mountain-stream, and perfectly embowered in olives. "We •/^ y yr^-'. •^MM'^^^mez^e'.S" lJm^i<7:0 THE DODD FAMIIiT ABEOAD. 527 could only obtain two rooms, however ; one adjoiaing the kitchen for Papa and Mamma; the other, under the tiles, for Cary and myself. IVa Giacomo quarters himself on the Priest of the village ; and Lord George and James are what the Italians call " a spasso." Betty Cobb is furious at being consigned to the kitchen, in com- pany with some thirty others, many of whom, I may remark, are English people of rank and condition. In fact, dearest, the whole place is so crowded, that a miserable room, in aU its native dirt and disgust, costs the price of a splendid apartment in Paris. Many of the first people of Europe are here : Ministers, Ambassadors, Gene- rals ; and an English Earl, also, who is getting a drawing made of the Shrine and the Yirgin, and intesnds sending a narrative of her miracles to the Tablet. You have no idea, my dearest Kitty, of the tone of affectionate kindness and cordiality inspired by such a scene. Dukes, Princes, even Eoyalties, accost you as their equals. As Era G. says, " The holy influences level distinctions." The Duke of San Pietrino placed his OAim cushion for Mamma to kneel on yester- day. The Graf von Dummerslungen gave me a relie to kiss as I passed this morning. Lord ToUington, one of the proudest Peers in England, stopped to ask Papa how he was, and regretted we had not arrived last Saturday, when the Yirgin sneezed twice ! As we begin our Novena to-morrow, I shaU probably not have a moment to continue this rambling epistle ; but you may confidently trust, that my first thoughts, when again at liberty, shall be given to you. Tin then, darling Kitty, believe me Tour devoted and ever affectionate MaetAmte Dodd. P.S. — More arrivals, Kitty — three carriages and elevea donkeys ! Where they are to put up, I can't conceive. Lord G. says, " It's as fuU as the 'Diggins,' and quite as dear." The excitement and novelty of the whole are charming ! 528 THE DODD FAMILT ABEOAD. LETTEE LXI. UBS. DODD TO MBS. MaBT GALLAeEEB, DOD8BOBOVOH. Orsaro. Feast of Saint Gingo. Mx BEAB MOLLT, The Earl of Guzebeny, that leaves this to-day for England, kindly offers to take charge of my letters to you ; and so I write " favoured by his Lordship" on the outside, just that you may show the neigh- bours, and teach them Davises the respect they ought to show us, if it's ever our misfortune to meet. The noble Lord was here doing his penances with us for the last three weeks,' and is now my most intimate friend on earth. He's the kindest-hearted creature I ever met, and always doing good works, of one sort or other ; and whenever not sticking naUs in his own flesh, or pulling hairs out of his beard or eyelashes, always ready to chastise a friend ! We came here to see the wonderful Virgin of Orsaro, and beg her intercession for us all, but more especially for K. I., whose tem- per proves clearly that there's what Father James calls a " possession of him ;" that is to say, " he has devils inside of him." The whole account of the Saint herself — her first manifestation , and miraculous doings — ybii'llfind in the little volume that accompanies this, written, as you wiU see, by your humble servant. Lord G. gave me every assistance in his power ; and indeed, but for him and Eather James, it might have taken years to finish it ; for I must tell you, MoUy, bad as Berlin-work is, it's nothing compared to writLag a book : for, when you have the wool and the frame, it's only stitcWng it in, but with a book you have to arrange your thoughts, and then put them down ; after that, there's the grammar to be minded, and the speUiag, and the stops ; and many times, where you think it's only a comma, you have come to your fuU period ! I assure you I went through more with that book — ^little as it is — than in all my " ob- servances," some of them very severe ones. Eirst of aU, we had to be so particular about the Miracles, knowing weU what Protestant bigotry would do when the account came out. "We had to give names, and dates, and places, with witnesses to substantiate, and all that could corroborate the facts. Then, we had a difficulty of another kind — how to call the Virgin. Tou may remember how those Exeter THE BODB FAMIIT ABEOAD. 529 Hall wretches spoke of Oui* Lady of Eimini— as the " "Winking Vir- gin." We couldn't say sneezing after that, so we just called her " La Madonna dei gospiri "— " Our Lady of Sighs." To be sure, we can't get the people here to adopt this title — but that's no conse- quence as regards England. By the time the volume reaches you, all Europe will be ringing with the wonderful tidings ; for there are three Bishojps here, and they have aU signed the " Memoire," recommending special services in honoxtr of the Yirgin, and strongly urging a subscription to buUd a suitable shrine for her in this her native village. Tou have no idea, dear MoUy, of what a blessed frame of miad these spiritual duties have enabled me to enjoy. How peaceful is my spirit! — ^how humble my heart! I turn my thoughts away from Earth as easily as I could renounce rope-dancing ; and when I sit of an evening, in a state of what Lord Giizeberry calls " beatitude," K. I. might have the cholera without my caring for it. The season is now far advanced, however, and, to my infinite grief, we must leave this holy spot, where we have made a numerous and most valuable acquaiutance ; for, besides several of the first people of England, we have formed intimacy with the Duchessa di Sangue Nero, first Lady to the Queen of Naples ; the Marquesa di Villa Guasta, a great leader of fashion in Turin; the "Noncio" at the Court of Modena ; and a variety of distinguished Elorentines and Eomans, who aU assure us that our devotions are the best passports for admissioU in ^11 the select houses of Italy. Mary Anne predicts a brilliant winter before us, and even Gary is aU delight at the prospect of Picture Galleries and works of art. Isn't it paying the Protestants off for their insulting treatment of us at home, MoUy, to see all the honour and respect we receive abroad ? The tables are completely turned, my dear ; for not one of them ^ver gets his nose into the really high society of this country, while we are welcomed to it with open arms. But, if there's anything sure to get you well received in the first houses, it is having a convert of rank in your train. To be the means of bringing a Lord over to the true fold, is to be taken up at once by Cardinals and Princes of all kin'ds. As Mary Anne says, " Let us only induce Lord George to enter the Catholic Church, and our fortune is made." And oh, Molly, — putting all the pomps and vanities of this world aside, never heeding the grandeur of this life, nor caring what man may do to us, isn't it an elegant reflection to save one poor creature from! the dreadful road of destruction and ruin ! I'm sure it would be the, 2ii 530 THE DQDD I'AMIEX ABEOAI. happiest day of my life when I could read in the Tablet, " We have great satisfaction in announcing to our readers that Lord George- Tiverton, Member for" — I forget where — ^"and son of the Mar' quis" — I forget whom^ — "yesterday renounced tie errors of the Protestant Church to embrace those of the Church of Eome." Maybe, now, you'd like to hear something about ourselves; but I've little to teU that is either pleasant or entertaining. Ton know — or, at least, you wiE know from Kitty Doolan — ^the way K. I. destroyed poor James, and lost him a beautiful creature and four thousand a year That was a blow there's no getting over ; and, indJBed, I'd have sunk under it, if it wasn't for Eather James, and the consolations he has been able to give me. There was an offer came for Oiiroliae. Captain Morris, that you've heard me speak of, wxQt^ and propoaedj which I opened during K. I.'s illness, and sent him, a flat refiisal, Molly, with a bit of advice in the: end, about keeping in his own rank of life, and marryiag into his own creed. Maybe I mightn't have been so stoutabout rejecting him, for it's the^iaidest thing in life to marry a daughter now-a^days, but that Father Griacomo said Ma Holiness would never forgive me for taking a Heretic into the famtty ; and that it was ■ one of the nine dM,dlj- sins. Ton may percfiive firam this, that Father G. is of great use to me when I need adrice and guidance^ and indeed I consulted him as to wheiheE L ought to separate from K. I., or not. There are cases of conscience, he tells me, and eases of convenience. The first are matters for the Cardmals and the Holy College ! but the others, any ordinary Priest can settle ; and. this ia. one of them. " Bon't leave him," saya he, "for your means of doing good wiU. only be more limited ; and as to your trials, take out some of your moitifiea- tions that way ; and above all, don't be too lenient to Mm." Ay, MoUy, he saw my weak pomt, do what I would to hide it : he knew my failing was, an easy disposition, and a patient, submissive turn of mind. But I'll do my endeavour to conquer it, if it was only for the pootohEdren's sake ; for I know he'd marry again ; and I sometimes suspect I've hit the one he has his eyes on. ' On. Friday next,, we are to leave this, for Genoa. It's the end of our Novena, and we wouldn't have time for another before the snbw sets in ; for though we're in Italy, Molly, the mountains all round us are tipped with snow, and it's as cold now, when you're in the shade^ as I ever felt it in Ireland. It's a great Tournament at Genoa is taking us there. There's to be the Bang of Saxony, and the: Ejjig of- Bohemia, too, I believe ; for whenever you begin to live in fashionable life, you mttst run after Soyal people from place to THE DODD EAMUiT ABEOAB. 531 place, be seen wherever they are, and be quite satisfied whenever your name is put down' among the " distinguished company." I was near forgetting that I want you to get Pather John to have my little book read by the children in our National School ; for, as K. I. is the Patron, we have of course the right. At all events, I'll withdraw if they refuse ; and they can't accuse me of iHiberality or bigotry ; for I never said a word against the taldng away the Bible. Let them just remember that ! Lord Giizeberryis just going, so that I have only time to seal, and sign myself as ever yours, Jemima Dodd. I send you two dozen of the Tracts, to distribute among our friends. The one bound iu red silk is for Dean O'Dowd, " with the author's devotions and duties." LETTER LXn. BETTY GOBB TO MISTEBSS SKITSAS O'SHEA. Mount Orsaro. Mt deab Shttsait, It's five months and two' days since I vrrote to you last, and it's like five years in regard to the way time' has worn and distressed me. The Mistress tould Mrs. G-aUagherhow I was deserted by that deeeat- full blagnard, taking off vrith him my peace of mind, two petticoats, and a blue cloth cloak, that I thought would last me for life! so that I needn't go over my miseries agaiu to yourself. We heard siace that he had another wife ia Switzerland, not to say two more wandering about, so that the Master says, if we ever meet him we can hang him for "Bigotry." And, to teE you the truth, Shusy, I feel as if it would be a great relief to me to do it ! if it was only to save other craytures from the same feat that he did to your poor friend Bfetty Cbbb; besides, that until somethiiigof the kind is done I can't enter the holy state again ■with any other deeeaver. Such a life as we're leadin', Shusy, at one miuute all eatin' and drinkia' and caressin' from morning till night ; at another, my dear, it's! all fastin' and mortification, for the Mistress has no modderation at all ; but, as the Master says, she's always- in her extremities ! If ye seen "Sie dSess of her last weels^ she was Satan from head tofoot, 2 m2 532 . THE BODD TAMILT ABEOAD. and now she's, by way of a Saint, in white Caslimar, with a little scurge at her waist, and hard pegs ia her shoes! We have nothin' to eat but roots, like the Beasts of the Keld ; and them, too, -mostly raw ! That's to make ns good soldiers of the Church, Father James says ; but in my heart and soul, Shusy, I'm sick of the regiment. Shure, when we've a station ia Ireland, it only last a day or two at most ; and if your knees is sore with the pen- nance, sure you have the satisfaction of the pleasant evenings after ; with maybe a dance, or, at all events, tellin' stories over a jug of punch; but here it's prayers and stripes, stripes and offices, starva-, tion and more stripes, tUl, savin' your presence, I never sit down without a screech ! Why we came here I don't know ; the Mistress says it was to cure the Master ; but didn't I hear her teU him a thousand times that the bad drop was in him, and he'd never be better to his dyin' day ? so that it can't be for that. Sometimes I think it's to get Mary Anne married, and they want Saint Agatha to help them ; but faith, Shusy, one sinner is worth two saints for the like of that. Lord Gteorge tould me in confidence — ^the other day it was — that the Mistress wanted an increase to her family. Eaith, . you may well open your eyes, my dear, but them's his words ! And tho' I didn't believe him at first, I'm more persuaded of it now, that I see how she's^oin' on. If the Master only suspected it, he'd be off to-morrow, for he's always groanin* and moanin' over the expense of the family ; and be- tween you and me, I believe I ought to go andteU him. Maybe you'd give me advice what to do, for it's a nice point. You wouldn't know Paddy Byrne, how much he's grown, and the' wonderful whiskers he has all over his face ; but he's as bowld as brass, and has the impediuce of the Divil in him. He never ceases tormentin' me about Taddy, and says I ought to take out a few florins, in curses on him, just as if I couldn't do it cheaper myself than payin' a Priest for it. As for Paddy himself — do what the Mistress will — she can get no good of him, in regard to his duties. He does all his stations on his knees, to be sure, but with a cigar in his mouth ; and when he comes to the holy well, it's a pull at a dram bottle he takes instead of the blessed water. I wondered myself at his givin' a crown piece to the Virgin on Tuesday last, but he soon showed me what he was at by sayin' : " If she doesn't get my wages riz for that, the Divil receave the farthin' she'll ever receive of mine again !" After all, Shusy, it's an elegant sight to see all them great people that thinks so much of themselves, crawliag about on their hands and knees, ikissin' a xelict here, huggin' a stone there, just as much .THE DODD FAMILT ABEOAB. 533 frightened about the way'the Saint looks at them as one of us! It •does one's heart good to know that for all their flue liTin' and fine clothes, ould Nick has the same hould of them that he has of you and me ! • I had a great deal to teU you about the family and their goln'a on, but I must conclude in haste, for tho' it's only five o'clock, there's the bell ringin' for Mattins, and I have a station to take before first •Mass. I suppose it's part of my mortifications, but the Mistress and Mary Anne never gives me a stitch of clothes tUl they're spoiled ; -and I'ifx drivin to my wit's end, tearin' and destroyin' things, in such a way, as not to ruin them when they come to me ! Miss Caroline never has a gown much better than my own ; and, indeed, she said the other day, " "When I want to be smart, Betty, you must lend me your black bombaseen." , There's the Mistress gone out already, so no more from Tour sincear friend, Betty Cobb. I think Lord Q-. is right about the Mistress, The Saints forgive her, at her time of life ! More in my next ! LETTEE LXIII. JAMES SOSI) TO ROBERT DOOLAK, ESQ., IRINITT COLLEGE, DUBLIN. The Inn, Orsaro. Mt dbae Bob, ' This must be a very brief epistle, since, amongst other reasons, the sheet of letter-paper costs me a florin, and I shall have to pay three more for a messenger to convey it to the post-town, a distance of as many, miles off. To explain these scarce credible facts, I must tell you that we are at a little village called Orsaro, in the midst of a wild mountain country, whither we have come to perform penances, say prayers, and enact other devotions at the shrine of a certain St. Agatha, who, sometime last autumn, took to working miracles down here, and consequently attracting all theTaithfiil, who had nothing to do with themselves before Carnival. My excellent Mother it was, who, in an access of devotion^ devised •the excursion ; and the Governor, hearing that the locality was a bar- !barous one, and the regimen a strict fast, fancied, of course, it would 534 THE DODB PAMILT A3B0AD. be a most economical dodge, at once agreed ; but, by Jove ! tlie saving is a delusion and a snare. Two miserable rooms, dirty and ill- fumisted, cost forty francs a day^ bad coffee and black bread for breakfast, are supplied at four francs a head ; dinner — if by sueh. a name one would designate a starved kid stewed in garlic, or a boiled hedgehog with chicory sauce — ten francs each; sour wine at the price of Chateau Lafitte ; and a seat in the Sanctuary, -to see the Virgin, four times as dear as a stall at the Italian Opera. Exor- bitant as aU these charges are, we are gravely assured that -they will be doubled whenever the Virgin sneezes again, that being the mani- festation, as they call it, by -which she displays her satis£iction at our presence here. I do notfancy talking irreverently of these things. Bob, but I own to you I am ineffably shocked at the gross imposi- tions innkeepers, post-masters, donkey-owners, and others practise by trading on the devotional feelings and pious asjmjationa of weak, but worthy people. I say nothing of the Priests themselves, they may or may not believe all these miraculous occurrences. One thing, however, is clear, they make every opportunity of judging of them so costly that only a rich man can afford himself the luxury, so that you and I, and a hundred others like us, may either succumb or scoff, as we please, without any means of correcting our convictions. One inevitable result ensues from this. There are two camps : the Faithful, who believe everything, and are cheated by every imaginable device of mock relics and made-up miracles ; and the Unbelieving, who actually rush into ostentatious vice, to show their dislike to hypocrisy ! Thus, this little dirty vUlage, swarming with Priests, and resounding with the tramp of Processions, is a den of every kind of dissipation. Th© rattle of the dice-box mingles with the nasal chantings of the tonsured monks, and the wild orgies of a drinking party blend with the strains of the organ ! If men be not reUgiously-minded, the contact^ with the Church seems to make demons of them. How otherwise interpret the scoff and mockery that imceasingly goes forward against Priests and Priestcraft in a little community, as it were, separated for acts of piety and devotion ? That we Hve in a most believing age is palpable, by the fact that this place swarms with men distinguished in every court and camp in Europe. Crafty Ministers, arfcfdL Diplomatists, keen old Generals, versed in every wile and stratagem, come here, as it were, to divest themselves of all their long-practised acuteness, and give in their adhesion, to the most astounding and incoherent revelations. I cannot bring myself to suppose these men Eogues and Hypocrites, and yet I have nearly as much difficulty to believe them Dupes! THE BODD lAMILT ABEOAB. . 535 Wtat have become of those sharp perceptive powers, that clever insight into motives, and the almost unerring judgment they could exhibit in any question of politics or war ? It cannot surely be that they who have measured themselves with the first capacities of the world, dread to enter the lists against some half-informed and narrow- minded village Ourate ? or is it that there lurks in every human heart some one spot, a refuge as it were for credulity, which even the craftiest cannot exclude? Tou are far better suited than me to canvass such a question, my dear Bob. I only throw it out for your consideration, without any pretension to solve it myself. My Pather, you are well aware,, is too good a Churchman to suifer a syllable to escape his lips which might be construed into discredit of the Faith ; but I can plainly see that he skulks his penances, and shifts oif any observance that does not harmonise with his comfort. At the same time, he strongly insists that the fastings and other privations enjoined, are an admirable system to counteract the efiect of that voluptuous life practised in almost every capital of Europe. As he shrewdly remafrked, " This place was like Groeffenberg — you might not be restored by the water-cure, but you were sure to be benefited by early hours, healthful exercise, and a light diet." This, you may perceive, is a very modified approval of the miracles. I have dwelt so long on this theme, that I have only leffc myseL. what Mary Anne calls the selvedge of my paper, for anything else. Nor is it pleasant to me, Bob, to tell you, that I am low-spirited and down-hearted. A month ago, life was opening before me with every prospect of happiness and enjoyment. A lovely creature, gifted and graceful, of the very highest rank and fortune, was to have been mine. She was actually domesticated with us, and only waiting for the day which should unite our destinies for ever, when one night — I can scarcely go on — I know not how either to convey to you what is *aZf shrouded in mystery, and should be, per- haps, aZZ concealed in shame ; but, somehow, my Father contrived to talk so of our family afiairs — our debts, our difficulties, and what not — ^that Josephine overheard everything, and shocked, possibly, more at our duplicity than at our narrow fortune, she hurried away at midnight, leaving a few cold lines of farewell behind her, and has never been seen or heard of since. I set out after her to Milan ; thence to Bologna, where I thought I had traces of her. Erom that I went to Eimini, and on a fdse scent down to Ancona. I got into a sKght row there with the Police, and was obliged to retrace my steps, and arrived at Parma, after three weeks' incessant travelling, heart-broken and defeated. 036 THE DODD I'AMILT ABEOAD. That I sljaU ever rally: — that I shall ever take any real interest in life again, is totally out of the question. Such an opportunity of fortune as this rarely occurs to any one once iu life ; none are lucky enough to meet it a second time. The Grovemor, • too, instead of feeling, as he ought, that he has heen the cause of my ruin, con- tiuues to pester me about the indolent way I spend myUfe, and iuyeighs against, even the little dissipations that I endeavour to drown my sorrows by indulging in. It's all very well to talk about active employment, useful pursuits, and so forth ; but a man ought to have his miud at ease, and his heart free from care, for all these, as I told the Gkivemor yesterday. When a fellow has got such a •' stunner" as I have had lately, London porter and a weed are his only solace. Even Tiverton's society is distastefid, he has such a confoundedly flippant way of treating one. I'm thinking seriously of emigrating, and wish you could give me any useful hints on the subject. Tiverton knows a fellow out there, who was in the same regiment with himself— a IBaronet, I believe — and he's doing a capital stroke of work with a light four-in-hand team that he drives, I think between San Prahcisco and G-eelorig, but don't trust me too far in the geography ; he takes the diggers at eight pound g, head, and extra for the " swag." N-ow that is precisely thp . thing to suit me ; I can tool a coach as well as most fellows ; and as .long as one keeps on the box they don't feel it Hke coming down in the world ! , I' half suspect Tiverton would come out too. At least, he seems very sick of, England, as everybody .must T^e that hasn't ten thou- sand a year and a good house in Belgravia. -> . I don't know whither we go from this, and, except in the hope of hearing from yoiij I could almost add, care as little. The Governor has got so much better from the good air and the. regimen, that he is now anxious to be off; while my Mother, attributing his recovery to the Saint's interference, wants another "(Ifovena." Mary Anne Ukea the. place too, and Gary, who sketches aU day long, seems to enjoy it. How the .decision is to come is, therefore, not easy to foresee. Mean- while, whether here or tJiere, Believe me your attached friend, James Dodd. ■ I open this to say, that we are " booked" for another fortnight here. My Mother went to consult the Virgin about going away last night, and she — that is the Saint — gave such a sneeze, that my Mother fainted, and was carried home insensible. The worst of all this is, / / /^ f,. THE DODD. FAMILT ABEOAD. 537 jihat Pather Giacomo — our Guide in spirituals — insists on my Mother's publishing a little tract on her experiences ; and the women are now hard at work with pen and ink at a small volume to be called " St. Agatha of Orsaro," by Jemima D '-^ They have offered half a florin apiece for good miracles, but they are pouring ia so fast they'll have to reduce the tariff. Tiverton recommends them to ask .thirteen to the dozen. The Governor is furious at this authorship, which will cost some five-and-twenty pounds at the least ! LBTTEE LXIV. UBS. DODD TO MBS. MABT GALLAGHEB. Hotel Feder, Grenoa. Mt ])eae Molly, It's little that piety and holy living assists us ia this wicked world, as you'll allow, when I tell you that after all my penances, my mor- tifications, and my self-abstaiaings, instead of enjoyment and pleasure, as I might reasonably look for in this place, I never knew real misery and shame till I came here. I wouldn't believe anybody that said people was always as bad as they are now ! Sure, if they were, why wouldn't we be prepared for their baseness and iniquity ? "Why would we be deceived and cheated at every hand's turn ? It's all balderdash to pretend it, Molly. The world must be coming to an end, for this plain reason, that it's morally impossible it can be more corrupt, more false, and more vicious, than it is. I'm trying these three days to open my heart to you. I've taken .ether, and salts, and neumonia — I think the man called it— by the spoonfuls, just to steady my nerves, and give me strength to tell you ' my afflictions ; and now I'll just begin, and if my tears doesn't blot out the ink, I'll reveal my sorrows, and open my breast before you. , "We left that blessed vUlage of Orsaro two days after I wrote to you by the Earl of Guzeberry, and came on here, by easy stages, as we were obliged to ride mules for more than half, the way. Oup journey was of course fatiguing, but unattended by any other incon- : venience than K. I.'s usual temper about the food, the beds, and the hotel charges as we came along. He wouldn't fast, nor do a single penance on the road ; nor would he join in chanting a Litany with 538 THE DODD BAMILT ABEOAB. Father James, but threatened to sing " Nora Chrina," if we didn't stop. And though Lord d-eorge was greatly shocked, James was just as bad as' his ^Father. Father Giacomo kept wMspering to me from time to time, " "We'll come to grief for this. We'll have to pay for all this impiety, Mrs. D. ;" till at last he gat my nerves in such a state, that I thought we'd be swept away at every Mast of wiad from the mountains, or carried down by every torrent that crossed the road. I couldn't pass a bridge without screeching ; and as to fording a stream, it was an attack of hysterics. These of course delayed us greatly ! and it was a good day when we got over eight miles. For all that, the girls seemed to like it. Gary had her sketch-book always open ; and Mary Anne used to go fishing with Lord Gr. and James, and contrived, as she said, to make the time pass pleasantly enough. I saw very little of K. I., for I was always at some devotional exercise ; and, indeed, I was right glad of it, for his chief amusement was getting Father James idto an argument, and teasing and insult- ing him so, that I only wondered why he didn't leave us at once and for ever* He never ceased, too, gibing and jeering about the miracles of Orsaro ; and one night, when he had got quite beyond aU bounds, laughing at Father' Gr., he told him, "Faith," says he, " you're the most credulous man ever iTnet in my life ; for it seems to me that you can believe anything but the 'Christian Eeli^on." From that out, Father G. only shook his hands at iim, and wouldn't discourse. This is the way we got to G-enoa, where, because we arrived at liight^ they kept us waiting outside the gates of the town till the Commandant of the Fortress had examined our passports; K. I. all the while abusing the authorities, and blackguarding the Governor in a way that would have cost us dear, if it wasn't that nobody could understand his Italian. That wasn't all, for when we got to the Hotel, they said that all the apartments had been taken before Lord Greorge's letter arrived, and that there wasn't a room nor a pantry to be had in the whole city at any price. In fact, an English family had jnstgone off in despair to Chiavari, for even the ships in the harbour were fiUed with strangers, and the " steam dredge" was fitted up like a Hotel ! K. L took down the list of visitors, to see if he could find a friend or an acquaintance amongst them, but, though there were plenty of English, we knew none of them ; and as for Lord Gr., though he was acquainted with nearly all the titled people, they were always relatives or connexions vnth whom he wasn't " on terms." WhUe we sat thus at the door, holding our cduncil of war, with sleepy waiters and a sulky porter, a THE DOBD rAMIIiX ABEOAD. 539 gentleman passed in, and went by ns, up tlie stairs, before we could see Lis face. The Landlord, who lighted him aU the way himself, showed that he was a person of some consequence. K. I. had jnst time to learn that he was " No. 4, the grand apartment on the firsit floor, towards the 6ea," which was all they knew; when the Land- lord came down, smiling and smirking, to say, that the occupant of No. 4 felt much pleasure in putting half his suite of rooms at our disposal, and hoped we might not decUnb his offer. " "Who is it ? — ^who is he ?" cried we all at once ; but the Land- lord made such a mess of the. English name, that we were obliged to wait tiU we could read it in the Strangers' Book. Meanwhile, we lost not a second in installing ourselves in what I must call a most princely apartment, with mirrors on, all sides, fine pictures, china, and carved femiture,' giving the rooms the air of a palace. There was a fine fire in the great drawing-room, and the table was littered with Eaghsh Newspapers and Magazines, which proved that he had just left the place for ns as he was himself occupying it, "Now, for our great Unknown," said Lord George, opening the Strangers' Book, and running his eye down the Hst. There was Milor Hubbs and Miladi, Baron This, Count That, the " Vescovo" £i Kilmore,, with the " Vescova" and five " Vescovini," — ^that meant the Bishop and his wife, and the five small little Bishops-^which made us laugh. And at last we came down to " No. 4, Grand Suite," Sir Morris Penrhyn, Bt., not a word more. " There is a swell of that name that owns any amount of slate quarries down near Holyhead, I think," said Lord George. " Do you happen to know him F' " No," was chorused by all present. " OhJ every one knows his place. It's one of the show things of the neighbourhood. How is this they call it — PwUdmmolly Castle? ■ — that's the name, at least so far as human Hps can approach it. ■ At aU events, he has nigh fifteen thousand a year, and can afford the annoyance of a consonant more or less." " Any relative of your Lordship's ?" asked E. L " Don't exactly remember ; but if so, we never acknowledged him. Can't afford Welsh cousinships !" " He's a right civil feEow, at aU events," said K. I., " and here's his health ;" for at that moment the waiter entered with the supper, and we all sat down in far better spirits than we had (expected to enjoy hstif an hour back. "We soon forgot all about our unknown benefactor, and, indeed, we had enough of our own concerns to engross our attention, for there were places to be secured for the 540 .THE DODD rAMILT ABEOAD. Tournament, and the other great sights ; for, -with all the frailty of our poor natures, there we were, as hot after the vanities and plea- sures of. this world as if we had never done a "novena" nor a penance in our lives ! "When I went to my room, Mary Anne and I had a long conver- sation about the stranger, whom she was fully persuaded was a con- nexion of Lord Gr.'s, and had shown us this attention solely on his account. "I can . perceive," said she, "from his haughty manner, ihat he doesn't like to actnowledge the relationship, nor be in any way bound by the tie of an obligation. His pride is the only sen- timent he can never subdue! A bad 'look out' for «»e, perhaps. Mamma," said she, laughing; "but we'll see hereafter." And with this she wished me good night. The next morning our troubles began, and early too, for Father James, not making any allowance for the different life one must lead in a great city from what one follows in a little out-of-the-way place amidst mountains, expected me to go up to a Chajpel twomUes away and hear Matins, and be down at mid-day Mass in the Town, and then had a whole afternoon's work at the Convent arranged for us, and was met by Lord George and James with a decided, and, indeed, almost rude opposition. The discussion lasted till late in the morn- ing, and might, perhaps, have gone on further, when K. I., who was reading his Oalignani, screamed out, " By the great O'Shea !" — a favourite exclamation of his — " here's a bit of news. Listen to this. Gentles, all of you ; ' By the demise of Sir "Walter Prichard Penrhyn, of — I must give up the Cas|;le— the ancient title and large estates of the family descend to a sister's son. Captain George Morris, who formerly served in the — ^th Toot, but retired from the army about a year since, to reside on the Continent, The present Baronet, who will take the name of Penrhyn, will be, by this accession of for- tune, the richest landed proprietor in the Principality, and may, if he please it, exercise a very powerful interest in the political world. "We are, of course, ignorant of his future intentions, but we share in the generally expressed wish Of aU classes here, that the ancient seat .of his ancestors may not be^ left unoccupied, or only tenanted by those engaged in exhibiting to strangers its varied treasures in art, and its unrivalled curibsities in antiquarian lore. — Welch Serald.' , There's the explanation of the civility we met with last night ; that clears up the whole mystery, but, at the same time, leaves another riddle unsolved. Why didn't he speak to us on the stairs ? Could it be that he did not recognise us ?" Oh, Molly ! I nearly fainted while he was speaking. I was afraid THE DODD TAMILT ABEOAD. 541- of my life Le'd look at me, and see by ray changed colour what was agitating me ; for only think of what it was I had done— just gone and refused fifteen thousand a year, and for the least marriageable of the two girls, since, I needn't say, that for one man that fancies Gary, there's forty admires Mary Anne — and a Baronetcy ! She'd have been my Lady, just as much as any in the Peerage. I believe in my heart I couldn't have kept the confession in, if it hadn't been that Mary Anne took my arm and led me away. Father G-. followed us out of the room, and began : " Isn't it a real blessing from the Virgin on ye," said he, " that you rejected that Heretic before temptation' assailed ye ?" But I stopped him, Molly ; and at once, too ! I told him it was all his own stupid bigotry got us into the scrape. " What has religion to do with it ?" said I. " Can't a Heretic spend fifteen thousand a year ; and sure if his vyife can't live with him, can't she claim Any-money, as they call it ?" " I hope and trust," said he, that your backsliding won't bring a judgment on ye," And so I turned away from him, Molly, for you may remark that there's nothing as narrow-miaded as a Priest when he talks of worldly matters. Though we had enough on our minds the whole day about getting places for the Tournament, the thought of Morris never left my head ; and I knew, besides, that I'd never have another day's peace with E. I. as long as I Uved, if he came to find out that I refused him. I thought of twenty ways to repair the breach : that I'd write to him, or make Mary Anne write — or get James to call and see him. Then it occurred to me, if we should make out that Caiy was dying for love of him, and it was to save our child that we condescended to change our mind. Mary Anne, however, overruled me in everything, sEtying : " Eely upon it. Mamma,- we'U have him yet. If he was a very young man there would be no chance for us, but he is five or six-and-thirty, and he'll not change, now ! For a few months or so, he'll try to bully himself into the notion of forgetting her, but you'U see he'U come round at last ; and if he should not, then it will be quite time enough to see whether we ought to pique his jealousy or awaken his compassion." She said much more in the same strain, and brought me round completely to her own views. " Above all," said she, " don't let Pather James influence you ; for though it's all right and proper to consult him about the next world, he knows no more than a child about the affairs of this one." So we agreed, Molly, that we'd just wait and see, of course keeping K. I. blind all the time to what we were- doing. 542 THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAD. The Games and the Circus, and all the wonderful sights that we were to behold, drove everything else out of my head, for every moment Lord George was rushing in vrith some new piece of intelli- gence about some astonishiag Giant, or some beautiful creature, so that we hadn't a moment to think of anything. It was the hardest thing in life to get places at all. The Pit was taken up with Dukes, and Counts, and Barons, and the Boxes rose to twenty-five iNapoleons apiece, and even at that price it was a favour to get one ! Early and late Lord George was at work about it, calling on Ministers, writing notes, and paying visits, tiU you'd think it was life and death were involved in our success. Ton have no notion, Molly, how different these matters are abroad and with us. At home, we go to a Play or a Circus just to be amused for the time, and we never think more of the creatures we see there- than if they weren't of our species ; but, abroad, it's exactly the re- verse. Nothing else is talked of, or thought of, but how much the Tenor is to have for six nights. " Is Carlotta singing well ? Is Nina fatter ? How is Erancesea dancing ? Does she do the little step Ufce a goat, this season ? or has she forgotten her rainbow spring ?" Now, Lord George and James gave us no peace about all these people till we knew every bit of the private history of them, from the Man that carried a BuU on his back, to the small Child with Wings, that was tossed about for a Shuttlecock by its Pather and Uncle. Then there was a certain Sofia Bettrame, that everybody was wild about ; the Telegraph at one time sayingshe was at Lyons, then sbe was at Vichy, then at Mont Cenis ; — ^now she was sick, now she was supping with the Princes Odelzeffska — and, in fact, what betwBen the people that were in love with her, and 'a number of others to whom she was in debt, it was quite impossible to hear of anything else but " La Sofia," " La Bettrame," from morning till night..- It's long before an honest woman, Molly, would engross so much of public notice ; and so I couldn't forbear remarking to K. I. Nobody cared to ask where the Crown Prince of [Russia was going to put up, or where the Archduchess of Austria was staying, but all were eager to learn if the Croce diMatta, or the Leone D'Oro, or the Cour de Naples were to lodge the peerless Sofia. The man that saw her horses arrive was the fashion for two entire days, and an old Gen- tleman, who had talked with her Courier, got three dinner invitations on the strength of it. What discussions there were whether she was to receive a hundred thousand francs, or as many crowns ; and then whether for one or fbr two nights. Then there were wagers about her age, her height, the colour of her eyes, and the height of her instep, THE DODD EAMILT ABEOAK. 543 till I own to you, Molly, it was downright offensiTe to the Mother of a Family to Hsten to what went on about her ; James being just as bad as the rest. At last, my dear, comes the news that Sofia has taken a sulk and won't appear. The Grand Duchess of somewhere did something, or didn't do it — I forget which — that was or was not " due to her." I wiEfh you saw the consternation of the town at the tidings. If it was thfi Plague was announced, the state of distraction would have been less. Tou wouldn't believe me if I told you how they took it to hearts Old Generals with white moustaches — fat, elderly G-entlemen in counting-houses — grave Shopkeepers — and grim-looking Clerks in the Excise, went about as if they had lost their father, and fallen suddenly into diminished circumstances. They shook Imuds, when they met, with a deep sigh, and parted with a groan, as if the occa- sion was too much for their feelings. At this moment,, therefore, after all the trouble and expense, no- body knows if there will be any Tournament at all. Some say it is the Government has found out that the whole thing was a con- spiracy for a rising ; and there are fifty rumours afloat about Mazzini himself being one of the company, in the disguise of a Juggler. But what may be the real truth, it is impossible to say. At all events, I'll not despatch this till I can give you the latest tidings. Tuesday Evening. The Telegraph has just brought word that she will come. James is gone down to the ofi5.ce to get a copy of the despatch. James is come back to say that she is at Novi. If she arrive here to-night, there will be an illumination of the town ! Is not this too bad, Molly ? Doesn't your blood run cold at the thought of it all ? They're shouting like mad under my window now, and Lord George thinks she must be come already. James has come ia with his hat in tatters, and his coat in rags. The excitement ia dreadfiiL The people suspect that the G-ovemment are betraying them to Eussia, and are going to destroy a Palace that belongs to a TaEow Merchant. All is right, MoUy. She is come ! and they are serenading her now under the windows of the " Croce di Matta!" Wednesday Mght. If my trembling hand can subscribe legibly a few lineSj- it is per- haps the last you will ever receive from your attached Jemima. I was never intended to go through such trials as these ; and they're 544 THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAD. DOW rending a heart that was only made for tenderness and affection. We were there, Molly! After such a scene of crushing and squeezing as never was equalled, we got inside the Circus, and with the loss of my new turban and one of my "plats," we reached our Box, within two of the stage, and nearly opposite the King. For an hour or so, it was only fainting was going on all around us, with the heat and the violent struggle to get in. Nobody minded the stage at all, where they were doing the same kind of things we used to see long ago. Ten men in pinkish buff, vaulting over an old white horse, and the Clown tumbling over the last of them, with a screech ! — ^the little Infant of three years, with a strap round its waist, standing and tottering on the horse's back — ^the Man with the Erass Balls and the Basin, and the other one that stood on the Bottles — aU passed off tiresome enough, tiU a grand flourish of trumpets announced Signor Annibale, the great Modem Hercules. In he rode, Molly, full gallop, all dressed in a light, flesh-coloured web, and looking so like naked that I screeched out when I saw him. His hair was divided on his forehead, and cut short all round the head ; and, indeed, I must confess he was a fine-looking man. After a turn or two, brandishing a big club, he galloped in again, but quickly re-appeared with a woman lying over one of his arms, and her hair streaming down half-way to the ground. This was Sofia ; and you may guess the enthusiasm of the audience at her coming ! There she lay, like ia a trance, as he dashed along at full speed, the very tip of one foot only touching the Saddle, and her other leg dangling down like dead. It was shocking to hear the way they talked of her symmetry and her shape— not but they saw enough to judge of it, MoUy ! — ^tiU. at last the Griant stopped to breathe a little just imder our box. K. I. and the young men of coiu-se leaned over to have a good look at her with their glasses, when suddenly James screamed: "By the " I won't say what — "it is herself!" Mary Anne and I both rose to-- gether. The sight left my eyies, MoUy, for she looked up at me, and who was it — but the Countess that James was going to marry ! There she was, lying languidly on the Giant, smiling up at us as cool as may be. I gave a screech, MoUy, that made the house ring, and went off in Mary Anne's arms. If this isn't disgrace enough to bring me to the grave, Nature must have given stronger feelings than she knows to your ever afflicted and heart-broken Jemima Dobs. THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAI. 545 LETTEE LXV. MISS CABOLINE DODD TO HISS COX, AT MISS MINCINg's ACADEUT, BLACK BOCK, IBELAND. Sestri, Gulf of Genoa. Mt beau Miss Cox, I HAD long looked forward to our visit to G-enoa in order to ■write to you. I had fancied a thousand things of the " Superb City" which would have been matters of interest, and hoped that many others might have presented themselves to actual observation. But with that same fatality by which the future for ever evades us, we have come and gone again, and really seen nothing. Instead of a week or fortnight passed in loitering about these myste- rious, narrow streets, each one of which is a picture, poking into crypts, and groping along the aisles of those dim churches, and then issuing forth into the blaze of sunshine to see the blue sea heaving in mighty masses on the rocky shore, we came here to see some vulgar spectacle of a Circus or a Tournament. By ill-luck, too, even this pleasure has proved abortive ; a very mortifying, I might say, humi- liating discovery awaited us, and we have, for shame sake, taken our refuge in flight from one of the most interesting cities in the whole Peninsula. I am ashamed to confess to you how ill I have borne the disap- pointment. The passing glimpses I caught here and there of steep old alleys, barely wide enough for three to go abreast — the little squares, containing some quaint monument or some fantastic foun- tain — the massive iron gateways, showing through the bars the groves of orange-trees within — the wide portals, opening on great stairs of snow-vyhite marble — all set me a dreaming of that Proud Genoa, with its merchant Princes, who combined all the haughty characteristics of a feudal state with the dashing spirit of a life of enterprise. The population, too, seemed as varied in type as the buildings around them. The bronzed, deep-browed Ligurian — the "Eaquino" — ^by right of birth, stood side by side with the scarcely less athletic Dalmatian, The Arab, from Tiflis, the Suliote, the Armenian, the duU-eyed Moslem, and the treacherous-looking Moor, were all grouped about the Mole, with a host of those less picturesque figures that re- present Northern Europe. There, was heard every language and every dialect. There, too, seem the lineaments of eveiy nation, and 2n 546 THE SOSS EAMIIiT ABEOAD. the traits of every passion that distinguish a people. Just as on the deep blue water that broke beside them were ships of erery build, from the proud three-decker to the swift " Latine," and from the tall, taper spars of the graceful Clipper, to the heavily-rounded, low- masted Gralliot of the Netherlands. I own to you, that however the actual life of commerce may include commonplace events, and commonplace people, there is something about the sea and those that live on the great waters, that always has struck me as eminently poetical. The scene — ^the adventurous existence — the strajige far-away lands they have visited — the Spice Islands of the South — the cold shores of the Arctic Seas — the wondrous people with whom they have mingled — the dangers they have confronted — all invest the sailor with a deep interest to me, and I regard him ever as one who has himself been an actor in the great drama, of which I have only read the outhne. I was, indeed, very sorry to leave G-enoa, and to leave it, too, un- seen. An event, bowever, too painful to allude to, compelled us to start at once ; and we came on here to the little yUlage from whence I write. A lovely spot it is — sheltered from the open sea by a tall promontory, wooded with waving pines, whose feathery foliage is re- flected in the calm :sea beneath. A gentle curve of the strand leads to Chiavari, another town about sis miles off, and behind us, landwaird, rise the great .Apennines, several thousand feet in height — ^g^and, barren, volcanic-looking masses of wildest outline, and tinted with the colours of every mineral ore. On the very highest pinnacles of these are villa^s perched, and the tall tower of a church is :seen to rise against the blue sky, at an elevation, one would &ncy, mitrodden by man. There is a beaaitiful distinctness in Italian landscape — ^every detail is " picked out" sharply. The outline of every rock and cliff, of every tree, of every shrub, is clean, and well defined. Light and shadow fall boldly, and even abruptly on the eye,; but, shalllown it ? Ilong for the mysterious distances, the cloud-shadows, the vague atmospherie tints of our Northern lands. I want those passing effects that seem to give a vitality to the picture, and make up something Uke a story of the scene. It is in these the mind revels, fis in a dream-land of its own. It is from these we conjure up so mamy amii^gled thoughts of the past, the present, and the coming time — inyesting the real witii the imaginary, and blending the ideal with the actual world. Hownaturally do all these thoughts lead us to that of Home ! Hap- pily for us, there is that in the religion of our hearts towards home that takes no account of the greater beauty of other lands. The THE BODD TAMILT ABEOAJ). 547 loyalty "we owe our own heartt defies seduction. Admire, glory ia how you will the grandest scene tke aun ever set upon, there is stili a holy spot in your heart of hearts for some little humble locality-^ a lonely glen — a Highland taim — a rociy path beside some -winding river, rich in its childish memiories, redolent of the bright hours of sunny infancy — and this you would not give for the most gorgeous landscapes that ever basked besueath Italian sky. Do not j(ancy that I repine at beiog here, because I turn with fond affection to the scene of my earliest days. I delight in ItaJy, J glory iu its splendoiu: of sky, and land, and water. I never weary .of its beauteous vegetation, and my ear drinks in with equal pleasure the soft accents of its language, but I always feel that these things are to be treasured for memory to be enjoyed hereafter, just as the Emi- grant labours for the gold he is to spend in his own country. In this wise, it may be, v?hen wandering along some mountaia " boieeai" at home, sauntering of a summer's eve through some waving meadow, that Italy in all its brightness will rise before me, and I will exult in my hestrt to have seen the towers of the Eternal City, and watched the waves that sleep in ".etiU Sorento." "We leave this to-morrow for Spezia, there, to pass a few days ; our object being to loiter slowly along till Papa can finally decide whether to go back or forward— for so is it, my dearest friend— aU our long- planned tour and its pleasures have resolved themselves into a hundred complications of finance and fashionable acquaintances. One might have supposed, from our failures in these attempts, that we should have learned at least our own unfitness for success. The very mortifications we have suffered might have taught us that aU the enjoyment we could ever hope to reap, could not repay the price of a single defeat. Tet here we are, just as eager, just as short-sighted, just as infatuated ias ever, after a world that wiU have "none of us," and steadily bent on storming a position in society that, if won to-morrow, we could not retain. I suppose that our reverses in this wise must have attained some notoriety, and I am even prepared to hear that the Dodd family have made themselves imhappily conspicuous by their unfortunate attempt at greatness ; but I own, dearest friend, that I am not able to con- template with the same philosophical 'Submission the loss of good men's esteem and respect, to -which these failures must expose us ; an instance of which, I tremble to think, has already occurred to us. Ton have often heard me speak of Mrs. Morris, and of the kind- ness with which she treated me during a visit at her house. She was, at that time, in what many would have called very narrow circmn- 2s2 548 THE DODD TAMILT ABBOA.II. Btances, but wBich, by consummate care and good management, suf- ficed to maintain a condition in every way suitable to a gentlewoman. She has since — or rather her son has— succeeded to a very large fortune and a title. They were at Genoa when we arrived there — at the same hotel — and yet never either called on or noticed us ! It is ;perfectly needless for me to say that I know, and know tho- roughly, that no change in tJieir position could have produced any alteration in their manner towards us. If ever there were people totally removed from such vulgarity — ^utterly incapable of even con- ceiving it — ^it is the Morrises. They were proud in their hxmible fortune — ^that is, they possessed a dignified self-esteem, that would have rejected the patronage of wealthy pretension, but willingly accepted the friendship of very lowly worth ; and I can weU believe that prosperity will only serve to widen the sphere of their sjrmpa- thies, and make them as generous in action as they were once so in thought. That their behaviour to us depends on anytHng in themselves, I therefore completely reject — this I know and feel to be an iripossibility. What a sad alternative is then left me, when I own that they have more than sufficient cause to shun our acquaint- ance and avoid our intimacy ! The loss of such a friend as Captain Morris might have been to James, is almost irreparable ; and from the interest he once took in him, it is clear he felt well disposed for such a part; and I am thoroughly convinced that even Papa himself, with all his anti- English prejudices, has only to come into close contact with the really noble traits of the EngUsh character, to acknowledge, their excellence and their worth. I am very far from imdervaluing the great charm of manner which comes under the category of what is called " aimable." I recognise aU its fascination, and I even ovm to an exaggerated enjoyment of its display^-but,- shall I confess, that I believe that it is this very habit of simulation that detracts from the truthful character of a people ; and that English blunt- nesB is — so to say — the complement of English honesty. That they push the characteristic too far, and that they frequently throw a chiU over social intercourse, which, im.der more genial influ- ences, had been everything that was agreeable, I am free to admit ; but, with aU these deficiencies, the national character, is incom- parably above that of any other country I have any knowledge of. It will be scarcely complimentary if I add after all this, that we Irish are certainly more popular abroad than our Saxon relatives. "We are more coitipliant with foreign usages ; less rigid in maintaining our own habits ; more conciliating in a thousand ways ; and both our THE DODD TAMLLT ABEOAB. 549 tongues and our temperaments more easily catch a new language and a new tone of society. Is it not fortunate for you that I am interrupted in these gossip- ings by the order to march. Mary Anne has come to tell me that we are to start in half an hour; and so, adieu till we meet at Spezia. Spezia, Croce di Malta. The little sketch that I send with this, will give you some very faint notion of this beautiful Gulf, with which I have as yet seen nothing to compare. This is indeed Italy. Sea — sky— foliage — balmy air — the soft influences of an atmosphere perfumed with a thousand odours — all breathe of the glorious land. The Grarden — a little promenade for the townspeople, that stretches along the beach, is one blaze of deep crimson flowers^-the blossom •of the San Gruiseppe — I know not the botanical name. The blue sea — and such a blue ! — mirrors every cliff, and crag, and castellated height with the most minute distinctness. Tall, latine-sailed boats, glide swiftly to and fro ; and lazy oxen of gigantic size drag rusthng waggons of loaded vines along, the ruddy juice staining the rich earth as they pass. Como was beautiful ; but there was — so to say — a kind of trim coquetry in its beauty that did not please me. The viUas — the gar- dens — the terraced walks — ^the pillared temples — seemed all the creations of a landscape-gardening spirit that eagerly profited by every accidental advantage of ground, and every casual excellence of situation. Now, here, there is none of this. All that man has done here, had been even better left undone. It is in the jutting promon- tories of rock-crowned olives — the land-locked, sUent bays, darkened by woody shores — the wild, profuse vegetation, where the myrtle, the cactus, and the arbutus, blend with the vine, the orange, and the fig — the sea itself, heaving as if oppressed with perfumed languor ; and the tall Apennines, snow-capt, in the distance, but whiter stiU in the clifts of pure Carara marble. It is in these that Spezia maintains its glorious superiority, and in these it is indeed unequalled. It wUl sound, doubtless, like a very ungenerous speech, when I say that I rejoice that this spot is so little visited — so little frequented by those hordes of stray and straggling EngUsh who loimge about the Continent. I do not say this in any invidious spirit, but simply in the pleasure that I feel in the quiet and seclusion of a place which, should it become by any fatality "the fashion," wUl inevitably de"e- 550 THE BOBD TAMIIY ABEOAB. nerate by all the vtilgaritiea of tlie change. At present the Eiviera — as the coast-line from G-enoa to Pisa is called — is little travelled. The steamers passing to Leghorn by the cord of the arch, take away nearly all the tourists, so that Spezia, even as a bathing-place, is little resorted to by strangers. There are none, mot one, of the ordinary signs of the watering-place about it. Neither donkeys to hire, nor subscription concerts ; not a pony phaeton, a pianist, nor any species of human phenomenon to torment you ; and the music of the Town band is, I rejoice to say, so execrably bad, that even a crowd of twenty cannot Be mustered for an audience. Spezia is, therefore, au natwrel — and long may it be so. Distant be the day when frescoed buildings shall rise around, to seduce from its tranquil scenery the peaceful lover of nature, and make of him tie hot-cheeked gambler or the broken debauchee. I sincerely, hopefully trust this is not to be, at least in our time. "We made an excursion this morning by boat to Lerici, to see poor Shelley's hotise, the same that Byron lived in when here. It stands in the bight of a little bay of its own, and close to the sea ; so dose indeed, that the waves were plashing' and frothing beneath the arched colonna'de on which it is built. It is now in an almost ruinous condi- tion, and the damp-discoloured walls and crumbling plaster bespeak neglect and decay. The view from the terrace is glorious ; the Gulf ia its entire extent is before you, and the Island of Palmaria stands out boldly, with the tall headlands of Porto Venere, forming the breakwater against the sea. It was here SheUey loved to sit ; here, of a summer's night he often sat till morning, watching the tracts of hiH and mountain wax fainter and fainter, till they grew into brightness again with coming day ; and it was not far from this, on the low beach of "Via Eeggio, that he was lost ! The old fisherman who showed us the house, had known Mm well, and spoke of his habits as one might have described those of some wayward child. The large and lustrous eyes, the long waving hair, the uncertain step, the look half-timid, half-daring, had made an impression so strong, that even after long years he could recal and tell of them. It came on to blow a " Levanter" as we returned, and the sea got lip with a rapidity almost miraculous. From a state of calm and tranquil repose, it suddenly became storm-lashed and tempestuous ; nor was it without difficulty we accomplished a landing at Spesda. To-morrow we are to visit Porto VenerC' — the scene which it is sup- posed suggested to TirgU his description of the Cave in which ^neas meets with Dido— and the following day we go to Carara, to see the THE DODD rAMIIiT ABEOAB. 551 marble quarries and the Aitists" studioa. In fact, we are " hand- booking" this part of our tonr in the most orthodox fesMon; and from the tame, hatf-effaeed impressions objects suggest, of which you come primed with previous description, I can almost fancy that read- ing "John Murray"' at your fireside at, home, might compensate for the fatigue and cost of a Journey. It would be worse than un"- grateful to deny the aid one desEiros ftom G-uide-books ; but there is unquestionably this disadvantage' ia them, that they limit your faculty of admiration or disapproval. They set down rules for your liking and disliking, and far from, contributing to form and educate your taste, they cramp its development by substituting criticism for instinct. As I hope to write to yon again from Horence, I'll not prolong this too tiresome epistle, but with my most affectionate greetings to all my old schoolfellows, ask my dear Miss Cox to believe me her ever attached and devoted CiEOi-rra DoDB. The Morrises arrived here last night and went on this morning, without any notice of us. They must have seen our names in the Book when writing their own. Is not this more than strange ? Mamma and Mary Anne seemed provoked when I spoke of it, so that I have not again alluded to the subject. I wish from my heart I could ask how yoM interpret their coldness. LETTEE LXVI. MAKY ANNE DODD TO MISS DOOLAN, OF BALIYDOOLAN. Lucca. Pagnihi's Hotel. Dbaeest Kittt, This must be the very shortest of Letters, for we are on the wing, and shall be for some days to come. Very few words, however, vrDl suffice to tell you that we have at length persuaded Papa to come on to Florence — ^fof the winter of course. Eome will follow — then Naples — e poi ? — who knows ! I think he must have received some jvery agreeable tidings from your Uncle Purcell, for he has been in better spirits than I have seen him latterly, and shows something like a return to his old vein of pleasantry. Not but I must own, that it is what the French would call, very often, a mauvaise plaiscmtetie in its 652 THE BODD FAMILY ABEOADi exercise, his great amusement being to decry and disparage the people of the Continent, He seems quite to forget that in every country the traveller is, and must be, a mark for knavery and cheat- ing. His newness to the land, his ignorance, in almost all cases, of the language, his occasional mistakes, all point him out as a proper subject for imposition ; and if, the English come to compare notes with any Continental country, I'm not so sure we should have much to plume ourselves upon, as regards our treatment of strangers. Por our social misadventures abroad, it must be confessed that we are mainly most to blame ourselves. All the counterfeits of rank, station, and position, are so much better done by foreigners than by our people, that we naturally are more easily imposed on. Now in England, for instance, it would be easier to be a Duchess than to imitate one successfully. AU the attributes that go to make up such a station abroad, might be assumed by any adventurer of little means and less capacity. "We forget — or, more properly speaking — we do not know this, when we come first on the Continent ; hence the mis- takes we fall into, and the disasters that assail us. It would be very disagreeable forme to explain at length how what I inentioned to you about James's marriage has come to an untimely conclusion. Enough when I say that the Lady was not, in any respect, what she had represented herself, and my dear Brother may be said to have had a most fortunate escape. Of course the poor fellow has suffered considerably from the disappointment, nor are his better feelings alleviated by the^I wOl say — very indelicate raillery Papa is pleased to indulge in on the subject. It is, however, a theme I do not care to linger on, and I only thus passively allude to it that it may be buried in oblivion between us. "W"^ came along here from Genoa by the seaboard, a very beautiful and picturesque road, traversing a wild range of the Apennines, and almost always within view of the blue Mediterranean. At Spezia we loitered for a day or two, to bathe, and, I must say, nothing can be more innocently primitive than the practice as followed there. Ladies and gentlemen — men and women, if you like it better — all meet in the water as they do on land, or rather not as they do on land, but in a very first-parentage state of no-dressedness. There, they splash, swim, dive, and converse:— float, flirt, talk gossip, and laugh with a most laudable forgetfulness of externals. Introductions and presentations go forward as they would in society, and a Gentleman asks you to duck instead of to dance with him. It would be affecta- tion in me were I not to say that I thought all this very shocking at first, and that I really could scarcely bring myself to adopt it ; but THE BODD FAMILY ABEOAD. 553 Lord George, who really swims to perfection, lauglied me out of some, and reasoned me out of others of my prejudices, and I will own, dearest Kitty, his arguments were unanswerable. " Were you not very much ashamed," said he, " the first time you saw a Ballet, or ' Poses Plastiques,' — did not the whole strike you as exceedingly indelicate ? — and now, would not that very same sense of shame occur to you as real indelicacy, since in these exhibitions it is Art alone you admire — Art ia its graceful development? The ' BaUarina ' is not a woman, she is an ideal — she is a Hebe — ^a Psyche ^an Ariadne, or an Aphrodite. Symmetry, grace, beauty of outline —these are the charms that fascinate you. Can you not, therefore, extend this spirit to the sea, and, instead of the Marquis of This and the Countess of That, only behold Tritons and Sea nymphs disporting in the flood P" I saw at once the force of this reasoning, Kitty, and perceived that to take any lower view of the subject would be really a gross indeli- cacy. I tried to make Gary agree with me, but utterly in vain, — she is so devoid of imagination ! There is, too, an utter want of refine- ment in her mind positively hopeless. She even confessed to me that Lord George, without his clothes, stUl seemed Lord George to her, and that no effort she could make was able to persuade her that the old Danish Minister, in the black leather skuU-cap, had any re- semblance to a river god. Mamma behaved much better ; — seeing that the custom was one followed by all the " best people," she adopted it at once, and though she would scream out whenever a Gentleman came to talk to her, I'm sure, with a few weeks' practice, she'd have perfectly reconciled herself to " etiquette in the water." Should you, with your very Irish notions, raise hands and eyes at all this, and mutter, " How very dreadful — how shocking !" and so on, I have only to remind you of what the Princess Pauline said to an English Lady, who expressed her prudish horrors at the Princess having " sat for Canova in wet drapery :" — " Oh, it was not so disagreeable as you think; there was always a fire in the room." Now, Kitty, I make the same reply to your shocked scruples, by saying the sea was deliciously warm. Bathing is here indeed a glorious luxury. There is no shivering' or shuddering, no lips chattering, blue-nosed, goose- skinned misery, like the home process ! It is not a rush in, in desperation, a duck in agony, and a dressing in ague, but a delicious lounge, associated with all the enjoyments of scenery and society. The temperature of the sea is just sufficiently below that of the air to invigorate without chUling, like the tone of a company that stimu- lates without exhausting you. It is, besides, indescribably pleasant 554 THE BODD TAMILT ABEOAD. to meet with a pastime so suggestive of new themes of talk. Instead of the tiresome and trite topics of Ballet and Balls, and Dress and Diamonds, your conversation smacks of salt water, and every allusion " hath suffered a sea change." Instead of a compliment to your Dancing, the flattery is now on your Diving ; and he who once offered his arm to conduct you to the " buffet^" now proposes his company to swim out to a Life-buoy I And now let me get back to land once more, and you will begin to fancy that your eorrespondtent is Undine herself in disguise. I was very sorry to leave Spezia, since I was just becoming an excellent swimmer. Indeed, the surgeon of an American frigate assured me that he thought " I had been raised in the Sandwich Islands" — a com- pliment which, of course, I felt bound to accept in the sense that most flattered me. We passed through Carara, stopping only to visit one or two of the studios. They had not much to interest us, the Artists being for the most part copyists^ and their works usually busts ; busts being now the same passion with our travelling countrymen as once were oil. portraits. The consequence is, that every Sculptor's shelves are loaded vrith thin-Upped, grim-visaged English women, and triple- chinned, apoplectic-looking Aldermen, that contrast very unfevourably with the clean-cut brows and sharply-chiselled features of classic antiquity. The English are an eminently good-looking- race of people, seen in their proper costume of broad-cloth and velvet. They arQ manly and womanly. The native characteristics of boldness, decision, and high-hearted honesty are conspicuous in all their traits ; nor is there any deficiency in the qualities of tenderness and gentleness. But with all this, when they take off their neckcloths, they make but very indifferent Eomans ; and he who looked a Gentleman in his Shirt-collar, becomes, what James would caU, " an arrant Snob" when seen in a Toga. And yet they mil do it ! They have a notion that the Anglo-Saxon can do anything — and so he can, perhaps — ^the difference being whether he can looh the character he knows so weU. how to aci. We left Carara by a little mountain path to visit the Bagni di Lucca, a summer place, which once, in its days of Eouge-et-Noir cele- brity, was greatly resorted to. The Principality of Lucca possessed at that period, too, its own reigning Duke, and had not been annexed to Tuscany. Like all these small states, without trade or commerce, its resources were mainly derived from the Court ; and, consequently, the withdrawal of the Sovereign was the death-blow to all prosperity. It would be quite beyond me to speculate on the real advantages or THE BODB BAMILT ABEOAD. 555 disadvantages resulting from this practice of absorption, but pronoimc- ing merely from ^ctemals^ I should say that the small states are great sufferers. Nothing can be sadder ■^an the aspect of this little capital. Euined palaces, grass-grown streets, tenantless houses, and half-empty shops are seen everywhere. Poverty — I might call it misery — on every hand. The various arts and trades cultivated had been those required by, even called into existence by, the wants of a Court. All the usages of the place had been made to conform to its courtly life and existence, and now this was gone, and all the " occu- pation" with it! Tou are not, perhaps', aware that this same terri- tory of Lucca supplies nearly aU of that tribe of image and organ- men, so weE known, not alone through Europe; but over the vast continent of America. They are skilful modellers naturally, and work really beautiful things in " terra cotta." They are a hardy mountain race, and, like all " Montagnards," have an equal love for enterprise and an attachment to home. Thus they traverse every land and sea — they labour for years long in far-away climes — th^ endure hardships and privations of every kind — supported by the one thought of the day when they can return home again ; and when in some high-perehed mountain village — some " Granuolo," or "Bennab- bia" — they can rest from wandering, and seated amidst their kith and kiad, tell of the wondrous things; they have seen in their joumeyings. It is not uncommon here, in spots the very wildest and least visited, to find a volume in English or Erench on the shelf of some humble cot- tage : now, it is perhaps a print, or an engraving of some English landscape — a spot^ doubtless, endeared by some espedal recollection — and not unfrequently a bird from Mexico — a bright-winged parrot from the Brazils — shows where the wanderer's footsteps have borne him, and shows, too, how even there the thoughts of home had fol- lowed. Judged by our own experiences, these people are but seantQy wel- comed amongst us. They are constantly associated in our minds with intolerable hurdy-gurdies and execrable barrel-organs. They are the nightmare of invalids, asad the terror of aU studious heads, and yet the wealth, with which they return, shows that their gifts are b^th acknowledged and rewarded. It must be that to many the organ- man is a pleasant visitor, and the image-hawker a vendor of " high art." I have seen a great many of them since we came here, and in their homes, too, for Mamma has taken up the notion that these ex- cellent people are all Uving in a state of spiritual darkness and desti- tution, and to enlighten them has been disseminating her precious little volume on the Miracles of Moxtnt Orsaro. It is plain to me 556 THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAP. that all this zeal of a woman of a foreign nation, seems to them a far more miraculous manifestation than anything in her little book, and they stare and wonder at her in a way that plainly shows a compas- sionate distrust of her sanity. It is right I should say that Lord Greorge thinks all these people knaves and vagabonds ; and James says they are a set of Smugglers, and live by contraband. Whatever be the true aide of the picture, I must now leave to your own acuteness, or rather to your prejudices, which, for all present purposes, are quite good enough judges to decide. Papa likes this place so much, that he actually proposed passing the winter here, for " cheapness ;" a very horrid thought, but which, for- tunately. Lord George averted by a private hint to the Landlord of the Inn, saying that Papa was rolling in wealth, but an awful miser ; so that when the Bill made its appearance, with everything charged double. Papa's indignation turned to a perfect hatred of the Town and all in it ; the consequence is, that we are to-morrow to leave for Florence, which, if but one-half of what Lord G-eorge says be true, must be a real earthly Paradise. Not that I can possibly doubt him, for he has Kved there two, or, I believe, three winters — ^knows every- body and everything. How I long to see the Gascini, the Court Balls, the Private Theatricals at Prince Polywkowsky's, the Pic-Nics at Kezole, and those dear receptions at Madame Delia Montanare's, where, as Lord G. says, every one goes, and "there's no absurd cant heard about character." Indeed, to judge from Lord G.'s account, Plorence — to use his own words — is " the most advanced city in Europe ;" that is to say, the Florentines take a higher and more ample view of social philoso- phy than any other people. The erring individual in our country is always treated like the wounded crow — the whole rookery is down on him at once. Not so here ; he — or she, to speak more properly — is tenderly treated and compassionated ; all the little blandishments of society showered on her. She is made to feel that the world is really not that ill-natured thing sour moralists would describe it ; and even if she feel indisposed to return to safer paths, the perilous ones are made as pleasant for her as it is possible. These are nearly his own words, dearest, and are they not beautiful ? so teeming with delicacy and true charity. And oh ! Kitty, I must say these are habits we do not practise at home in our own coimtry. But of this more hereafter; for the present, I can think of nothing but the society of this delightful City, and am trying to learn off by heart the names of all the charming houses in which he is to introduce us. He has written, besides, to various friends in England for letters for us, a?HE BODD FAMILY ABROAD. 557 SO that we shall be unqilestionably better off here-^socially speaking — than in any other City of the Continent. We leave this after breakfast to-morrow ; and before the end of the week it is likely you may hear from me again, for I am longing to give you my first impressions of Krenza la Bella ; tiU when, I am, as ever, your dearly attached Maet Aiorn DoDD. P.S. — Great good fortune, Kitty — ^we shall arrive in time for the races. Lord Gr. has got a note from Prince Pincecotti, asking liim to ride his horse " Bruise-drog" — which it seems is the Italian for " BuU-dog" — and he consents. He is to wear my colours too, dearest — green and white — and I have promised to make him a present of his jacket. How handsome he toill look in jockey dress ! James is in distraction at being too heavy for even a hurdle race ;. but as he is six feet one, and stout in proportion, it is out of the question. Lord Gr. insists upon it that Cary and I must go on, horseback. Mamma agrees with him, and Papa as stoutly resists. It is in vain we tell him that aE depends on the way we open the campaign here, and that the present opportunity is a piece of rare good fortune ; he is in one of his obstinate moods, and mutters some- thing about " Beggars on horseback," and the place they "ride to." I open my letter to say — carried triumphantly, dearest^we are to ride. LETTEE LXVII. JAMES SODS TO EOBEET SOOLAN, ESQ., TEINITT COI,I.BGE, SUBLIK. Hotel ditalie, Florence, Wednesday. Mt dbab Bob, Heee we are going it, and in about the very " fastest" place I ever set foot in. • In any other city, society seems to reserve itself for evening and lamplight ; but here. Bob, you make " running from the start," and keep up the pace tiU you come in. In the moming^ there's the Club, with plenty of Whist ; all the gossip of the towu — and such gossip, too — the real article, by Jove! — no shadowy inuendos — no vague and half-mystified hints of a flaw here or a crack there ; but home "blows, my boy — with a smashed character, or a ruined reputation, at every stroke. This is, however, only a breathing canter, for what awaits you at the , Cascioi — a sort of " promenade," where aU the people meet in their carriages, and ex- change confidences iu scandal, and iiivitaitions to tear-^the Gascini. 558 THE BOID TAMILT ABEOAO). being to the Club "what the Ballet is -to the Opera. After this, you have barely time to dress for ditmer ; whieh, oyer, the Opera begins. There you pay Tisits from box to box — ^leam all ihat is going on for the eveniag — hear where the prettiest women .are going, and where the smaaiest -play will be found. Midnight arrives, and ibhen — -"but not before — the real life of Florence begins. The dear Oontessa, that never showed by daylight, at last appears iu her salon ; the charming Marchesa, whose very head-dress is a study from Titian, and whose dark-fringed eyes you tliink jou recognise from the picture in " the Pitti," at length sails in, to receive the humble homage of — what, think you ? a score of devoted worshippers ! — a, band of chival- rous adorers ! — ^nothing of the kind. Bob : a dozen or so of young fellows, iu all manner of costumes, and all shapes ■of beard^ and moustaches ; all smoking cigars or cigarettes, talking, singing, laugh- ing, thumping the piano, shouting choruses, playing tricks with cards — all manner of tomfoolery, in fact ; with a dash of enthusiasm in the nonsense, that carries you along in spite of yourself. The conversation — if one can dare to call it such — is a vpild chaos of turf-talk, politics, scandal, literature, buffoonery, and the Ballet. There is abundance of wit — ^plenty of real smartness on every side. The fellows who have just described the cut of a tuckar, can teU jou accurately the contents of a treaty ; and they who did not seem to have a thought above the depth of a flounce or the width of a sandal, are thoroughly well versed in the politics of every state of Europe. There is no touch of sarcasm in their gaiety — none of that refined, subtle ridicule, that runs through a Frenchman's talk — ^these fellows are eminently good-natured : the code of morals is not severe, and hence the secret of -the merciful judgments you hear pronounced on every one. As to breeding, we English should certainly say there vras an excess of familiarity. Everybody puts his aim on your shoulder, pats you on the back, and calls you by your Christian name. I am " Giacomo," to a host of fellows I don't know by name; and " Gree- mess," to a select few, who pride themselves on speaking English. At all events. Bob, there is no constraint — 'no reserve amongst them. Tou are at your ease at once— and good feUowship is the order of the day. As to the women, they have a haif-shy, half-confident look, that puzzles one sadly. They'll stand a stare from you most unblush- ingly — they think it's aU very right and very reasonable that you should look at them as long and as fitxedly as you would do at a Eaffael in the Gallery ; but with all that, there is great real delicacy THE BODD FAMILX ABBOAB. 559 of deportmeni;, and those coram-publico preferences wMct are ocea- sionaUy esHbited in England, and even in Prance, are never seen in Italian society. As to good looks, there is an abundance, but of a character which an^EngHshman at first mil scarcely accept as beauty. They are xaarely handsome by feature^ but frequently beautiful by expression. There is, besides, a graceful languor, a tender Cleopatra- like voluptuousness in their air that distinguishes them from other women ; and I have no doubt that any one who has lived long in Italy would pronounce Erench smartness and coquetry the very essence of vulgarity. They cannot dress like a Parisian, nor waltz liie a Wienerin ; but, to my thinking, they are far more captivating than either, and I am already in love with four, and I have just heard of a fifth, that I am sure will set me downright distracted. There's one thing I like especially in them ; and I own to you, Bob, it would compensate to me for any amount of defects, which I believe do not pertain to them. It is this : they have no accom- plishments — they neither murder Eossini, nor mar Salvator Eosa; they are not educated to torment society, poison social intercourse, and push poUteness to its last entrenchment. You are not called on for ffllenjce while they scream, nor for praise when they paint. They do not convert a drawing-room iato a Boardiag-Bchool on Examination-dayji and they are satisfied to charm you by fascina- tions that cost you no compromise to admire. After all, I believe we English are the only people that adopt the other plan. We take a commercial view ,of the mattea", and having invested so much of our money in accomplishment^ we like to show our friends that we have made a good speculation. Eor myself, I'd as soon be married to a musical snufi'-box, or a daguerreotype machine, as to a " well brought up English girl," who had always the benefit of the best masters in music and drawing. The fourth-rate Artist -in anything is better than the first-jate Amateur ; and I'd just as soon wear home-made shoes as listen to home-made music I have not been presented in any of the EngUsh houses here as yet. There is some w.onderful controversy going forward as to whether we are to call first, or to wait io- be called on; and I begin to fear that the Carnival will open before it can be settled. The Governor, too, has got into a hot controversy, with onr Minister here, about our presentation at Court. It would appear that the rule is, you should have been presented at home, in order to be eligible for presentation abroad. Now, we have been at the Castle, but never at St. James's. The Minister, however, will not recognise reflected Eoyalty; and here we are, suffering under a real Irish ^^0 IHE DODD TAMILT ABEOAD. grieyance O'Connell would have giTen his eye for. The fun of it is, that the Court — at least I hear bo — is crammed with English, who never even saw a Viceroy, nor perhaps partook of the high festivities of a Lord Mayor's EaU. How they got there is not for me to inquire, but I suppose that a vow to a Chamberlain is like a Custom-house oath, and can always be reconciled to an easy conscience. "We have arrived here at an opportune moment — time to see all the notorieties of the place at the races, which began to day. So far as I can learn, the foreigners have adopted the English taste, with the true spirit of imitators : that is, they have given little attention to any improvement in the breed of cattle, but have devoted considerable energy to all the rogueries of the ring, and with such success, that Ifewmarket and Doncaster might still learn something from the " Legs" of the Continent. Tiverton, who is completely behind the scenes, has told me some strange stories about their doings ; and, at the very moment I am writing, horses are being withdrawn, names scratched, forfeits de- clared, and bets pronounced " off," — ^with a degree of precipitation and haste that shows how little confidence exists amongst the mem- bers of the ring. As for myself, not knowing either the course, the horses, nor the colours of the riders, I take my amusement in ob- serving — ^what is really most laughable — the absurd effort made by certain small folk here to resemble the habits and ways of certain big ones in England, Now, it is a retired Coachmaker, or a pen- sioned-off Clerk in a Crown-office, that jogs down the course, betting- book in hand, trying to look — in the quaintness of his cob and the trim snugness of his groom — ^like some old County Squire of fifteen thousand a year. Now, it is some bluff, middle-aged G-ent, who, with coat thrown back, and thumbs in his waistcoat, insists upon being thought Lord George Bentinck. There are Massy Stanleys, George Paynes, Lord "Wiltons, and Colonel Peels by dozens; " Gentlemen Jocks," swathed in drab palet6ts, to hide the brighter rays of costume beneath, gallop at fuU speed across the grass on ponies of most diminutive size ; smartly got-up fellows stand under the Judge's box, and alang the authorities above, or stare at the Ladies in front. There are cold luncheons, sandwiches. Champagne, and soda-water; Bets, Beauties, and Bitter Beer — everything, in short, that constitute races, but Horses ! The system is, that every great man gives a cup and wins it himself. The only possible inte- rest attending Buch a process being whether, in some paroxysm of anger at, this, or some frump at, that, he may not withdraw his horse at the last moment ; — an event on which a small knot of gen- THE DODD FAMlir ABEOAB. 561 tlemen -mih. dark eyes, thick lips, and aqtuline noses, seem to specu- late on as a race chance, and only second in point of interest to a wliist party at the Casino mth a couple of newly-come "BuUs." • A more stupid proceeding, therefore, than these races — bating : always the fun derived from watching the " snohocracy" I have mentioned — cannot be conceived. Now it was a walk over ; now a " seU ;" now two horses of the same owner ; now one horse that was owned by three. The private history of the rogueries might possibly amuse, but all that met the public eye was of the very slowest imaginable. I begin to think, Bob, that horse-racing is only a sport that can be maintained by a great nation abounding ' in wealth, and with all the appliances of state and splendour. Tou ought to have gorgeous equipages, magnificent horses, thousands of spectators, stands crowded to the roof by a class such as only esdst in great countries. Eoyalty itself, in aU its pomp, should be there ; and all that can represent the pride and circumstance of a mighty people. To try these things on a small scale is ridiculous — -just as a little navy of one sloop and a steamer ! "With great proportions and ample verge, the detracting elements are hidden from view. The minor rascalities do not obtrude themselves on a scene of such grandeur ; and though cheating, knavery, and fraud are there, they are not foreground figures. Now, on a little "race-course," it is exactly the reverse: just as on board of a three-decker you know nothing of the rats, but in a Nile boat they are your bedfellows and yoinr guests at dinner. To-morrow we are to have a match with Gentlemen riders, and if anything worth recording occurs I'U keep a comer for it. Mother is in the Grand Stand with any amount of Duchesses and Mar- chionesses around her. The Governor is wandering about the field, peeping at the cattle, and wondering how the riders are to get round a sharp turn at the end of the coiu'se. The Girls are on horseback, with Tiverton ; and, in the long intervals between the matches, I jot down these rough notes for you. The scene itseK is beautiful. The field, flanked on one side by the wood of the Cascini, is open ; on t'other, to the Mountains : Kezole, from base ■ to summit, is dotted over with villas half buried in groves of orange and olive-trees. The Val d'Amo opens on one side, and the high Moimtain of VaUom- brosa on the other. The gaily-dressed and bright-costumed !Ploren- tine population throng the ground itself, and over their heads are seen the glorious domes, and towers, and spires of beautiful Florence, under a broad sky of cloudless blue, and in an atmosphere of rarest purity. 2o . S62 HHE Dcmi):EAimirr ABBOAD. TJuusday. ; aSTerton iaa won hi»- match, aad wi±li.±he worat horse too. Of his competitcffs, one fdU. ©ffi; another never got up at aU; a third belted ; and a fourth took so much out of his horse in a breathing camter before the race, that tdie ,animal was dead beat before ie came to lie start. And now, the knowing ones are going about muttering angry denunciations on ^ihe treachery of grooms aad -trainers, and yoiwing that " GU Gentlemen riders son' grand! Bricconi." J am glad it is over. The whole scene was one of guaixeUing, raw, and ammosity from beginning to end. These people- neither Jmow how to win money or to lose it ; and. as to the English who figfure on such occasions, take my word for it, Bob, the national character gains little by ttieir .alliance. It is too soon for me, per- hstps, to pronounce in this fashion, but Tiverton has told me so many liijtle private histories — revealed so much of the secret memoirs of Ifchese fglk — that I believe lam speaking what subsequent eqierience will amply eomfirm. i'or the present, good-by, and beEeve me, Ever yours, Jahbs Dosd. LETTEE, liXVin. S.EH11IY DOOS TO THOMAS FUBCEXLj EBQ., 6BXNOE, BBnEF. Morenoe, iLuDgo L'Amo. Mt .bbae To jr. It is nigh a month isinoe I wrote to you last, and if I didn't " Steal a few hours from the night, my dear," it might be longer still. Tlie address wiU tell you where we are — I wish anybody or anything else woidd tell you how or why we came here ! I intended to have gone back .from Genoa, nor do I yet understand what prevented me doing so. My poor head none of the fclearest — ^in what may be called m-y lucid: intervals^s but a very indifferent thinking machine when harassed, worried, and tormented as I have been latterly. You have heard how James's Countess, the Cardinal's niece and the betrothed jof a ilJCeapolitan Prince, turned out to be a Circus woman, one of ithipse bits of tawdry gold fringe and pink silk pantaloons that dance on a idhaUiBd saddle to a one shilling multitude ! By .good fortune she had two husbaads living, or she might have married the boy. As it was, he has gone into all manner of debt on her account, and if it was not that I can defy ruin in any shape — for certain excellent THE BOBD TAMILT iBEOAD. 563 reasons you may guess at — this feat exploit of his would go migli to our utter destruction. "We hurried away out of Genoa in shame, and came onherehyslow Staiges. The women-kind plucked up wonderfully on ihe way, and I beUeve of the whole party your huanble servant alone carried abase- ment with him inside the gates of Plorence. My sense of sorrow and shame probably somehow blunted my facidties and dulled my reasoning powers, for I would seem to have concurred in a vast number of plans and aarangements that now, when I have come to myself, strike me with intense astonishment. For instance, we hare taken a suite of rooms on the Amo, hired a cook, a carriage, and a courier ; we are, I hear, also in megottaition for a box at the " Pergola," and I am credibly irformed that I am myself looking out for Baddlfi-horses for the Girls, and a "atout-uaadje, square- jointed cdb of lively action," to carry myself. It may be a.U true — I have no doubt it is more philosophical, as the cant phrase is — to believe Kenny Dodd to be mistaken rather than suppose his whole family deranged, so that if I hear to-morrow or next day that I'm about to take lessons in singing, or to hire la studio as a sculptor, I'm fully determined to accept the tidings wifh a gratseful submission. There ia only one thing, Tom Purcell, thkt passes my belief, and that is, that there ever lived as besotted an o|.d fool as your fiiemd Kenny D., a man so thoronghly dive to mety- thing that displeased him, and yet so prone to endure it ; so actively bent on going a road the very opposite to the one he wanted to travel ; and that entered heart and soul into the spirit of ruining himself, as if it was the very best fun imaginable. That you can attempt to follow me through the vagaries of this strange frame of mind is more than I expect, neither do I -pretend to explain, it to you. There it ia, however — make "what you can of it, just as you "Would vrith a handful of copper money abroad, where there was no clue to the value of a single coin in i;he Tnass, but wherewith you are assured you have received your chai^. With afine lodging, smart liveries, a rery good cook, and a weU^sup- pled table, I thought it possible thatthoiighluin wouldfoUowin about three months, yet in the interval I might probably enjoy a little ease and contentment. At aU events, Hke ike Indian, who, -when hfe saw that .he must inevitably go over the Falls, put his paddles quietly aside, and iresolved to give himself no unnecessary-trouble; I also determined I'd leave the boat alone, and never ''fash myself for the futuJte." "Wise as .13118 policy might seem, it has not saved me. Mrs. D. is a regular storm-bird! wherevier she sgoes she earriea 'her' own 2o2 564 THE DODD FAMTtT ABEOAD. hurricane with her, and I verily believe she could get up a tornado under the equator ! In a little pious paroxysm that seized her in the mountains, she, at the instigation of a stupid old Lord there, must needs write a tract about certain miracles that were or were not — for I'll not answer for either — ^performed by a Saint that for many years back nobody had paid any attention to. This precious volume cost her three weeks' loss of rest, and me about thirty pounds sterling. . It was, however, a pious wo^k, and even as a kind of vise on her passport to Heaven, I suppose it would be called cheap ; I assure you, Tom, I spent the cash grudgingly ; that I did pay it at all I thought was about as good " a miracle" as any in the book. Armed with this tract she tramped through the Luechese moun- tains, leaving copies everywhere, and thrusting her volume into the hands of all who would have it. I'm no great admirer of this practice in any sect. The world has too many indiscreet people to make .this kind of procedure an over safe one ; besides, I'm not quite certain that even a faulty religion is not preferable to having none at all, and, it happens not unfrequently that the convert stops half-way on his road, and leaves one faith without ever reaching the other. I'U not discuss this matter further ; I have trouble enough on my hands without it 1 These little, tracts of Mrs. D.'s attracted the attention of the authorities.- It was quite enough, that they had been given away gratis, and by an En^shwoman, to stamp them as attempts to pro- selytise, and, although they couldn't explain how, yet they readily adopted the idea that the whole was written in a figurative style purposely to cover its real object, and so they set Lawy.ers and Judges to work, and what between oaths of Feasants and affirmations of Prefects, they, soon made a very pretty case, and yesterday morn- ing, just as we had finished breakfast, a sergeant of the Gendarmerie entered the room, .and with a military salute asked which was La Senora Dodd ? The answer being given, he proceeded to read aloud a paper that he held in his hand, the contents of which Gary trans- lated for me ia a whisper. They were, in fact, a Judge's warrant to commit Mrs. D. to prison under no less than nine different sections of a new law on the subject of religion. In vain we. assured him that we were all good Catholics, kept every ordinance of the Church, and hated a heretic. He politely bowed to our explanation, but said that with this part of the matter he had nothing to do ; that doubt- less we should be able to establish our innocence before the Tribunal ; meanwhile Mrs. D. must go to prison ! IHE DODD EAMILT ABEOAB. 565 I'm ashamed at all the warmth of indignation we displayed, seeing that this poor fellow was simply discharging his duly — and that no pleasant one — ^but somehow it is so natural to take one's anger out on the nearest official, that we certainly didn't spare him. Tiverton threatened him with the House of Commons ; James menaced him with the Times ; Mary Ajme protested that the British fleet would anchor oif Leghorn within forty hours ; and I hinted that Mazzini should have the earliest information of this new stroke of tyranny. He bore all like — a Gendarme ! stroked his moustaches, clinked his sword on the ground, put his cocked hat a little more squarely on his head, and stood at ease. Mrs. D. — there's no guessing how a woman wiU behave in any exigency — didn't go off, as I thought and expected she would, in strong hysterics ; she didn't even show fight ; she came out in what, I am free to own, was for her a perfectly new part, and played martyr ; ay, Tom, she threw up her eyes, clasped her hands upon her bosom, and said, " Lead me away to the stake — ^burn me — torture me — cut me in four quarters-^tear my flesh off with hot pincers." She sug- gested a great variety of these practices, and with a volubility that showed me she had studied the subject. Meanwhile the sergeant grew impatient, declared the "seance" was over, and ordered-her at once to enter the eairriage that stood awaiting, her at the door, and which was to convey her to the prison. I needn't dwell on a very painful scene ; the end of it was, that she was taken away, and though we all followed in another carriage, we were only admitted to a few moments of leave-taking with her, when the massive gates were closed, and she was a captive ! Tiverton told me I must at once go to our Legation and represent the case. " Be stout about it," said he ; " say she must be liberated in half an hour. Make the Minister understand that you are some- body, and won't stand any humbug. I'd go," he added,' "but I can't do anything against the present Government." A knowing wink accompanied this speech, and though I didn't see the force of the remark, I winked too, and said nothing. "What language does he speak ?" said I, at last. " Our Ministerf English, of course !" " In that case I'm off at once ;" and away I drove to the Legation. The Minister was engaged.. Called again — ^he was out. Called later — he was in conference vrith the Foreign Secretary. Later stiU — ^he was dressing for dinner. Tipped his valet a Nap. and sent in my card, with a pressing entreaty to be admitted. Message brought back, quite impossible — ^must call in the morning. Another Nap. to the flunkey, and asked his advice. 566 THE BOBn FAMILY iKEOAn: "HisExeellency receiTestUseTening — come as one of the guests." I didn't half Eke this eotmsBl, Tom ; it was rather an obtrusive line of policy, btit what was t® be: done? I thought for a fe* minutea, and seeing no chance of anything better, resolved to adopt it. At ten o'dock, then, behold me ascending a splendidly iUnmi- natedstaiEcasejWith marble statues on either side, hailf hid amidst all manner of rare and beautiful plants. Crowds of splendidly dressed people are wending their way upward with myself — doubtless with lighter hearts — ^which was not a diflScult matter. At the top, I find myself in a dense crowd, all a blaze of diamonds and deoorations, gorgeousi uniforms and je^eieUed. dresses of the most costly magni> fieenoe, I assure you. I was perfectly lost in wonderment and admiration. The glare of wax-lights, the splendour of the apartments themselves^ and the air of grandeur on every side, actually dazzled and astoimded me. Ait each instant I heard the title of Duke and Erince given to some one ot other. " Tour Highness is looking better ;" "I trust your Grace )will dance ;" " Is the Princess here ?" " Pray present me to the I>uohess." Egad, Tom, I, felt I was really in the very centre of that charmed cirole of which one hears so much and yet sees so little ! I needn't say that I knew nobody, and I own to you it was a great relief to me that nobody knew ««e. "Where should I find the Minister in alt this chaos of splendour, and if I did succeed, how obtain the means of addressing him ? These were very puzzling questions to be solved, and by a brain turning with excitement, and half wild between astonishment and apprehension. On . I went, through room after room— there seemed no end to this gorgeous display. Here, they were crushed together, so that stars, crosses, epaulettes, diamond co- ronets, and jewelled arms seemed all one dense mass; here, they were broken into card parties ; here, they were at billiards ; here, dancing ; and heire, all were gathered around a splendid buffet, where the pop, pop of Champagne corks explained the lively sallies of the talkers. .1 was not sorry to find something like refreshment ; indeed, I thought my courage stood in. need of a glass of wine, and so I set myself vigorously to pierce the firm and compact crowd in front of me. My resblver had scarcely been taken, when I felt a gentle but dose pressure within my arm, and on looMrig down, saw three fingers of a white^gloved hand on my wrist. I started back ; and even before I could turn my head, Tom, I heaard a gentle voice murmur in my ear : " Dear raeature — ^how de* lighted to see you-r-when did you arrive ?" and my eyes fell upon the; setDn I'AMXLT ABEOAilX 567, Mrs. G-ore Hamptem, ! There she vfas, in all the Bfteadow of full dress, which, I am hoiand. to. say, in the presenifc inatanee, meant as small an amoimt of raiment as; any one could, well YeiLti»e. out ia. That I never saw her look half so heautifid.-ia quite true. Her comhs of brilliants set off her glossy hair, and added new brilliancy to her eyes, ■while her beauteous meek and sheuMeara aietuaUy shone in the brightness of its tints^ I betiiought me of the " Splugen," Tom, and the cold insidenee of her disdain. I triedto' summon tsp indignation to reproach her, hut she anticipated me, by sayiag, with a bewitch- ing sitiile: " Adolphus isn't.hdly — do everything necessary for iha Blue Soak, and in the mean while take care thad; Mrs. D. is out of prison before the day is over." I was surpxiaed to find how little Sir Alesander cared for the real facts of the case, or ihe .gross injiistice rif the jentire piaceading. In fact, he listened to my explanations on this head with :w :much im- patience as could consist with his unquestioniable good .breeding, simply interpolating as I went on : " Ah, very true.;" ■" Your observa- tion is quite correct ;" "Perfectly just," and BO on. "Can you dine here to-day, Mr. Dodd," said h^ as I finished 5 •"ienrhya is coming, and a few other friends ?" I had some half scruples aboat accepting a dinner invitation while my wife remained a prisoner, .but I thought, " after all the Minister must be the best judge of such a point," Jtod accordingly said " Tes." A most agreeable dinner it was, too, Tom. A party of seven at a,round table, admirably served, and with — ^what I assure you is growing rather a rarity now-a-days — a suflS.cienoy of wine. The Minister himself proved most agreeable; his long residence abroad had often brought him into contact with amusmg speci- TBJE BODD TAMILT ABEOAD. 575 mens of his bwn countryBaien, some of whose traits and stories he recounted, admiuahly, Aowing me thai; the Dodds are only the specie of aTery wideiyi-extended and ■well appreciated genus. I own to you that I heard, with no small degree of humiliation, how prone we English are to demand money compensations for the wrongs inflicted upon us hy Foreign Governments. As the informUr tion caiue from a source I cannot question, I have only to accept the fact, and deplore it. As a nation, we are assuredly neither mean nor mercenary. As individuals, I sincerely hope and trust we can stand comparison in all that regards liberality of purse with any people. Tet how comes it that WB have attained io an almost special notoriety for converting our sorrows into silver, and making our personal injuries into a credit at our banker's? I half suspect that the tone imparted to the national inind by our Law Courts is the true reason of this, and that our actions for damages are the damaging features of our character as a people. The man who sees no indignity in taking the price of bis dishonour, will find little difficulty in appraising the value of an insult to Ms liberty. Take my word for it, Tom, it is a very hard thing to make foreigners respect the institutions of a country stained with this reproach, or believe that a people can be truly high-minded and high- spirited who hawe recourse to aueh indemnities. IVom what fell from Sir Alexander on this subject, I could plainly perceive iihe embarrassment a Minister must labour under, who, while asserting the high pretensions of a great nation, is compelled to descend to such ignoble bargains ; and I only wish that- the good public at home, as they pore over Blue Books, would take into account this very considerable difficulty. As regards Fopeign G-ovemments themselves, it is right to bear in mind that they rarely or never can be induced to believe the trans- gressions of individuals as anything but parts of a grand and compre- hensive scheme of English interference. If John BuU smuggle a poimd of tea, it is immediately set down that England is going to alter the Custom Laws. Let him surreptitiously steal his fowling- piece over the frontier, and we are accused of " arming the disaffected population." A copy of a tract is construed into a Treatise on Socialism: and a "Jim-Crow" hat is the symbol of EepubUcan doc- trines. I see the fuU absurdity of these suspicions, but I wish, for our own comfort sake, to take no higher ground, that we were somewhat more circumspect in our conduct abroad. " Eule Britannia" is a very fine tune, and nobody likes to hear it, well sung, better than myself, but 576 THE DODD TAMILT ABBOAD. this I will say, Tom, " Britons ever will be slaves" to their prejudices and self-delusions, until they come to see that ikew notions of right and wrong are not universal, and that there is no more faulty impres- sion than to suppose an English standard of almost anything appli- cable to people who have scarcely a thought, a feeling, or even a prejudice in common with us. One might almost fancy that the travelling Englishman loved a scrape from the pleasure it afforded him of addressing his Minister, and making a fuss in the Times. Just as a fellow who knew he had a cork jacket under his waistcoat might take pleasure in falling over- board and attracting public attention, without incurring much risk. , Wliile we were discussing these and such like topics, there came a note from James to say that Mrs. Dodd had just been liberated, and was then safe in what is popularly called the bosom of her fainily. I accordingly arose and thanked Sir Alexander most heartily for his kind and successful interference ; and though I should not have objected to another glass or two of his admirable port, I felt it was only decent and becoming in me to hasten home to my wife. As Morris had shown so much good-nature ia the affair, and had — formerly at least — been on very friendly terms with us, I asked him to come along with me ; but he dechned, with 8 kind of bashful reserve that I could not comprehend ; and so, half offended at his coldness, I wished him a " good night," and departed. I have now only to add, that I found Mrs. D. ia good health and spirits, and, on the whole, rather pleased with the incident than otherwise. Ton shall hear from me again ere long, and meanwhile, believe me, Tour ever faithful friend, EJEiWT James Dodd. THE BODD FAMILY ABEOAD. 577 LETTEE LXIX. UBS. DODD TO MBS. OALLAGHEB, SOSSBOBOUQB. Casa Dodd, Florence. Mt deae Moli-t, So you tell me that the Newspapers is full of me, and that nothing is talked of but " the case of Mrs. Dodd" and her " cruel incarnation in the dungeons of Tuscany." I wish they'd keep their sympathies to themselves, MoUy, for to teU you a secret, this same captivity has done us the greatest service in the world. Here we are, my darling, at the top of the tree — going to all the Balls — dining out every day — and treated with what they caU the most distinguished con- sideration. And I must say, Molly, that of all the cities ever I seen, Morence is the most to my taste. There's a way of living here — ^I can't explain how it is done exactly — but everybody has just what he likes of everything. I believe it's the Bankers does it — ^that they have a way of exchanging, or discounting, or whatever it is called — that makes every one at their ease ; and, iadeed, my only surprise is why everybody doesn't come to live in a place with so many advan- tages. Even K. I. has ceased grumbling about money matters, and for the last three weeks we have really enjoyed ourselves. To be sure, now and then, he mumbles about " as well to be hanged for a sheep as a lamb ;" and this morning he said that he was " too old to beg," to " dig he was ashamed." " I hope you are," says I ; " it isn't in your station in life that you can go out as a navvy, and with your two daughters the greatest beauties in the town." And so they are, MoUy. There isn't the like of Mary Anne in the Cascini, and though Caroline won't give herself fair play in the way of dress, there's many thinks she's the prettiest of the two. I wish you saw the Cascini, MoUy, when the carriages aU drive up and get mixed together, so that you would wonder how they'd ever get out again. They are all full of elegantly-dressed ladies ; there's nothing too fine for them, even in the morning, and there they sit, and loU back, with all the young dandies lying about them, on the steps of the carriages, over the splash-boards — ^indeed, nearly under the wheels — squeezing their hands, looking into their eyes and under their veils. Oh, dear, but it seems mighty wicked tUl you're used to it, and know it's only the way of the place, which one does remark- 2p 578 THE DODD rAMIlT ABBOAP. aMy soon. The first thing strikes a stranger here, Molly, is, that everybody knows every other body most intimately It's all " Carlo," " Luigi," " Antonio Mio," with hands clasped or arms about each other, and everlasting kissing between the women. Ajid then, Molly, when you see a newly-arrived EngUsh family in the midst of them, with a sulky father, a stiff mother, three stem young ladies, and a stupid boy of sixteen, you think them the ugliest creatures on earth, and don't rightly know whether to be angry or laugh at them. Lord G-eorge says that the great advantage of the Cascini is, that you hear there " all that's going on." Faith you do, Molly, and nice goings on it is! The Florentines say 'they've no liberty. I'd like to know how jnuch more they want, for if they haven't it by right, Molly, they take it at all events, and with everybody, too. The creatures, all rings and chains, beards and moustaches, come up to the side of your carriage, put up their opera glasses, and stare at you as if you was a wax- work ! Then they begin to discuss yon, and alinost fall out about the colour of your hair or your eyes, till one, bolder than the rest, comes up close to you, and decides what is, maybe, a wager ! It's aU very trying at first — ^not but Mary Anne bears it beautifully, and seems never to know that she is standing under a battery of fifty pair of eyes ! As to James, it's all Paradise. He knows aU the beauties of the town already, and I see him with his head into a brougham there, and his legs dangling out of a phaeton here, just as if he was one of the family. You may think, MoUy, when they begin that way of a morning, what it is when they come to the evening! If they're aU dear Mends in the daylight, its brothers and sisters — no, but hus- bands and wives they become when the lamps are lighted ! Whether they walk or waltz, whether they hand you to a seat, or offer you an ice, they've an art to make it a particular attention — and, as it were, put you under an obligation for it ; and whether you like it or not, Molly, you are made out in their debt, and woe to you when they discover you're a defaulter ! I'm sure, without Lord George's advice, we couldn't have found the right road to the high soeiety of this place so easily ; but he told K. I. at once what to do— and, for a wonder, MoUy, he did it. f lorence, says he, is like no other capital in Europe. In all the others there is a circle, more or less wide, of what assumes to be " the world;" there every one is known, their rank, position, and even their fortune. Now in Florence, people mis as they do at a Swiss table d'h6te; each talks to his neighbour, perfectly aware that he THE DODB FAMUT ABEOAB. 679 may be a blackleg, or she— if it be a she-^something worse. 5jhat society is, agreeable, pleasaat, and briUiaiit, is the best refutation to all the cant one hears about freedoni of manners, and so on. And, as liord G. observes, it is Buanifestly a duty with the proper peetple to miogle with the naughty ones, since it is only in this way they can hope to reclaim, them. " Take those tw« charming girls of yours into the world here, Mrs. D.," said he to me the other day; " show the folks that beauty, grace, and fascination are all compatible with correct principles and proper notions ; let them see that you yourself, so certain of attracting admiration, are not afraid of its incense ; say to society, as it were, here we are, so seciffe of ourselves that we can walk unharmed through aJl the perils around us, and enjoy health and vigour with the plague on every side of us." And that's; what we're doing, Molly. As Lord Q-eojige s^iys, "we're diffueing our ittiuence," and I've no doubt we'll- see the results before long. I wish I was as sure of K. I.'s goings lOn ; but Betty tells me that he constantly receives letters of a rooming, and hurries out iammdi- ately after — that he often drives away late at night in a hackney- coach, and doesn't jretum till nigh morning ! I'm only waiting fop him to buy us a pair of carriage-horses to be at hicu about this behaviour ; and, indeed, I think he's trying to push me on to it,, to save him from the expense of the horses. I roust tell you, Molly, that next to having no character, the most fashionable tHng here is a handsome coach ; and, indeed, without something striking in that way, you can't hope to take society by storm. "With a phaeton and a pair of blood bays, James says, you. can drive into Prince WaJley- koffsky's, drawing-room ; with a team of fouir, you can trot them up the staics of the Pitti Palace. After a coach, comes your cook ; and. isfl't my heart broke trying them I We've had a round of " experimental dinners," thaithas cost us a little fortune, since each " chef" that came was free to. do what he pleased, without regard to the cost, and m eatable morsel never came to the table all the while. Our present artist is MoBsieur Chardron, who goes out to market in a Brougham, .and buys a turkey with kid gloves on him. He won't cook for us except on company days, but leaves us to. his ".aide," as he .callshhn, whom K. I. likes best, for he condescends to give us a bit of roast meat, now and then, that has really nourishment in it. "We're now, tijerefore, ia a state to open the campaigu. "We've an elegant apiartment—ra: first-rate Cook— a capital Couiiep— and next week we're to set up a .Chasseur, if K. I. win only eonseat to be made, a Count. Tou may stare, ,MoUy, when I teU you that he fights againat it 2p2 S80 THE DODD FAMIIT ABEOAD. as if it was the Court of Bankruptcy ; though Lord George worked night and day to have it done. There never was the like of it for cheapness ; a trifle over twenty pounds clears the whole ex- pense ; and for that he would be Count Dodd, of Piezole, with a title to each of the children. As many thousands wouldn't do that in England ; and, indeed, one doesn't wonder at the general outcry of the expense of living there, when the commonest luxuries are so costly. Mary Anne and I are determined on it, and before the month is ov«r yoiu? letters will be addressed to a Countess. In the middle of aU this happiness, my dear, there is a drop of bitter, as there always is in the cup of Ufe, though you may do your best not to taste it ! Indeed if it wasn't for this drawback, Florence would be a place I'd like to live and die in. What I allude to is this : — ^here we are between two fires, MoUy — ^the Morrises on one side and Mrs. Gore Hampton on the other, both watching, seruti- nisiog, and observing us, for, as bad luck would have it, they both settled down here for the vrinter ! Now, the Morrisses Taiow all the quiet, well-behaved, respectable people, that one ought to be acquainted with, just for decency's sake. But Mrs. G. H. is in the fashionable and fast set, where all the fim is going on ; and from what I can learn thems the very people would suit us best. Being in neither camp, we hear nothing but the abuse and scandal that each throws on the other ; and, indeed, to do them justice, if half of it was true, there's few of them ought to escape hanging ! That's how we stand ; and can you picture to yourself a more embarrassing situation? for you see that many of- the slow people are high in station and of real rank, while some of the fast are just the reverse. Lord George says, " Cut the fogies, and come amongst "the fast 'uns ;" and talks about making friends with the " Mammoth of unrighteousness ;" and if he means Mrs. G. H., I believe he isn't far wrong : but even if we consented, MoUy, I don't know whether she'd make up with us ; though Lord George swears that he'M answer for it with his head. One thing is clear, Molly, we must chooSe between them, and that soon, too ; for it's quite impossible to :be " well with the Treasury and the Opposition also." ' K. I. affects neutrality, just to blind us to his real intentions ; but i know him well, and see plainly what he's after. Cary fights hard for her friends ; though, to say the truth, they haven't taken the least notice of her since they came to their fortune — the very thing I expected from them, Molly, for it's just the way with all upstarts ! Now you see some of the difficulties that attend even the highest ■successes in life ; and maybe it will make you more contented with a?HE BODD TAMIIT ABEOAD. 581 your own obscurity. Perhaps, before this reaches. you, we'll have de- cided for one or the other ; for, as Lord G-, says, you can't pass your life between silly and crabbed.* There's another thing fretting me, besides, Molly. It is what this same Lord George means about Mary Anne ; forit's now more thans six months since he grew particular ; and yet there's nothing come- of it yet. I see it's preying on the girl herself, top — and what's to be done ? I'm sure I often think of what poor old Jones Macarthy; used to say about this : " If I'd a family of daughters," says he, " I'd do just as I manage with the horses when I want to sell one of them. There they are — look at them as long as you like in the stable, but I'U have no taking them out for a trial, and trotting them, here, and. cantering them, there ; and then, a fellow coming to tell me that they have this, that, and the other." And the more I think of it, Molly, the more I'm convinced it's the right way ; though it's too late,, maybe, to help it now ! As I mean to send you another letter soon, I'U close this now,^ wishing you all the compliments of the season, except chilblains,, and remain your true and affectionate friend, Jemima Dodb. P.S. Tou'd better direct your next letter to us, " Casa Dodd;" for I remark that all the English here try and get rid of the Italian names to the houses as soon as they can. LETTEE LXX. JAMBS SODD TO BOBBKT DOOLAK, ESQ., THIKITI COLLEOI, DHBIilN.- Florence. Mt beae Bob, Ir you only knew how difficult it is to obtain even five minutes of quiet leisure in this same Capital, you'd at once absolve me from all the accusations in your last letter. It is pleasure at a railroad pace, from morning tiU night and from night till morning. Perhaps after all it is best there should be no time for reflection, since it would be like one waiting on the rails for an Express train to run over him ! I can give you no better nor speedier illustration of the kind of life we lead here, than by saying that even the Governor has felt the fascination of the place, and goes the pace, signing cheques and draw- * Does Mrs. D. mean ScyUa and Charjbdis ?— Ed. o/doU Correspondence, 582 THE BODD EAMriT ABEOAD. ing bills' -without the slighitest hesitation^ or any apparent sense of a coming responsibility. He plays, too, and loses his money freely, and, altogether, comports himself as if he had a most liberal income, or^— teffrible alternative) — ^not a sixpence in the world. I own to yon, Bob, that this recklessness afftights me far more than all his former grambling over our expensive and wasteM habits. He seems to have adopted it, too^ with a certain method' that gives it all the appear- ance of a plan, though I confess what possible advantage could redound from it is utterly beyond my power of calculation. Meanwhile, our style of living is on a scale of splendour that might well suit the most ample fortune. Tiverton says that for a month or •two this is absolutely necessary, and that in soeiely, as in war, it is the first dash often deeides a campaign. And realLy even my own brief experience of the world shows that one's friends, as they are conventionaEy called, are far more interested in the skill of your cook than in the merits of your own character ; and ttiat he who has a good cellar may indulge himself in the luxury of a very bad con- science. Tou of course suspect that I am now speaking of a class of people dubious both in fortune and position, and who have really no right to scrutinise too closely the characters of those with whom they associate. Quite the reverse. Bob. I am actually alluding to our very best and most correct English, and who wonld not for worlds do art; home any one of the hundred transgressions they commit abroad. !For instance: we have in this goodly capital of debt and divorce celebrity, a certain house of almost princely splendour. The furni- ture, plate, pictures aU perfection,; the Cook, an artist that once pampered Boyal palates. In a word, everything, from the cellar to the conservatory, a miracle of correct taste. The owner of aU this magnificence is — what think you ? — a successful swindler ! — ^the hero of a hundred Bubble speculations — the spoliator of some thousands of shareholders — a fellow whose infractions have been more than once stigmatised by public prosecution, and whose rascalities are of Euro- pean fame! You'd say, that with all these detracting influences he was a man of consummate social tact, refined manners, and at least pos- sessing the outward signs of good-breeding. Wrong again. Bob. He is coarse, uneducated, and vulgar ; he never picked up any sem- blance of the class from whom he peculated ; and has lived on as he begtin, a " low comedy villain," and no more. "Well, what think you when I teU you that is " tlie house," par excellence, where all strangers strive to be introduced. That to be on the dinner-list here is a dis- tinction, and that even a visitor enjoys an envied fortune ; and that at the very moment I write the Dodd family are in earnest and active XHE BOSS FJ.MILT A^BBOJU). negotiatibnto attain to tHs inestimable privilege. Now, Bob, there's no denying that tte© must be something rotten,, aad to the core^ too, where such a condition of things prevailsv If this man fed the hungry and sheltered the housdesSj who had no alternative but his table, or no food, the thing requires no explanation ; or if his hospi- Mities were partaken of by that large ioating class who ia every cily are to be found, vrith tastes disproportionate to their fortunes, and who wiE at any time postpone their principles to their palates, even then the matter is not of difficult solution ; but what thinfe you that his company includes some of the very highest names of our stately nobility, and that the titles that resound through his scion are amongst the most honoured of our haughly aristocracy! These people assuredly stand in no want of a dinner. Theyare comfortably lodged, and at least reasonably well fed, at the Italie, or the " G-rand Bretagne." Why should they stoop to such companionship ? Who can explain this. Bob ? Assuredly 1 am not the Qidipus ! I am nothing surprised that people like ourselves, for instance, seek to enjoy even this passing splendour, and find themselves at a princely board, served with a more than royal costliness. One of these grand dinners is like a page of the Arabian Nights to a man of ordinary condition; but surely his Grace the Duke, or the most "Noble the Mai'quis, has no such iUusiona. With Mm, it is only a question whether the Madeira over-flavoured the soup, or that the ortolans might possibly have been fatter. He diaes pretty much in the same fashion every day during the London season, and a great part' of the rest of the year afterwards. Why then should he descend to any compromise to accept Gouiit " Dragonards' " hospitality ? for I must tell you that "Dives" is' a Count, and has orders from the Pope and ttie Queen of Spain. • With the explanation, as I have said, I have nothing to do; It is beyond and above me. For the fact alone I am guarantee ; and here comes Tiverton in a transport of triumph to say that " Heaven is won," or in humbler phrase, " Monsieur le Comte de Dragonards prie ITionneur," &e., andthat Dodd pere and Dodd mere are requested to dine vrith him on Tuesday. The younger Dodds to assist at a recep- tion in the evening. Tiverton assures me that by accepting with a good grace the humbler part of a "refresher,"'! am certain of promotion afterwards to a higher range of character ; and in this hope I live for the present. It is likely I shall not despatch this vrithout being able to tell you more of this great man's house ; meanwhile — " majora cantamus" I am in love. Bob ! If I didn't dash into the confession at once, as ' 584 THE DODD I'AMILT ABBOAD. one springs into the sea of a chilly morning, I'd eveji put on the clothes of secresy, and walk off unconfessed. She is lovely, beyond anything I can give you an idea of — pale as marble ; but such a flesh tint ! a sunset sleeping upon snow, and with Uds fringed over a third of her cheek. Ton know the tender, languid, longing look that vanquishes me — that's exactly what she has! A glance of timid surprise, like an affrighted fawn, and then a downcast consciousness — a kind of self-reproaching sense of her own loveliness — a sort of a, — what the devil kiad of enchantment and witchery. Bob ? that makes a man feel it's all no use struggling and fighting — that his doom is there! that the influence which is to rule his destiny is before him, and that turn him which way he wiU, his heart has but one road — and will take it ! She was in Box 19, over the orchestra ! I caught a glimpse of her shoulder — only her shoulder — at first, as she sat with her face to the stage, and a huge screen shaded her from the garish light of the lustre. How I watched the graceful bend of her neck each time she saluted — I supposed it was salutatioii — some new visitor who entered. The drooping leaves and flowers of her hair trembled with a gentle motion, as if to the music of her soft voice. I thought I could hear the very accents echoing within my heart! But oh! my ecstasy when her hand stole forth and hung listlessly over the cushion of the box. True it was gloved, yet still you could mark its sym- metry, and, ia fancy, picture the rosy-tipped fingers in aU their graceful beauty. Night after night I saw her thus ; yet never more than I have told you. I made superhuman efforts to obtain the box directly in front ; but it belonged to a Eussian Princess, and was, therefore, inacces- sible. I bribed the bassoon, and seduced the oboe in the orchestra ; but nothing was to be seen from their inferno of discordant tunings. I made love to a ballet-dancer, to secure the entree behind the scenes j and, on the night of my success, she — ^my adored one — had changed her place with a friend, and sat with her back to the stage. The adverse fates had taken a spite against me. Bob, and I saw that my passion must prove unhappy ! Somehow it is in love as in hunting, you are never really in earnest so long as the country is open and the fences easy; but once that the ditches are "yawners," and the walls "raspers," you sit down to your work with a resolute heart and a steady eye, determined at any cost, and at any peril, to be in at the death. Would that the penalties were alike also ! How gladly would I barter a fractured rib, or a smashed collar-bone, for the wrecked and cast-away spirit of my lost and broken heart ! THE DODD TAHIIT ABEOAI. 585 If I suffer myself to expand upon my feelings, there will be no end of this, Bob. I already have a kind of consciousness that I could fill three hundred and fifty folio volumes, lite " Hansard's," in subtle description and discrimination of sensations that were not exactly " this," but were very like " that;" and of impressions, hopes, fancies, fears, and visions, a thousand times more real than aU the actual events of my land fide existence. And, after all, what balderdash it is to compare the little meaningless incidents of our lives with the soul-stirring passions that rage within us ! the thoughts that, so to say, form the very fuel of our natures ! These are, indeed, the reali- ties ; and what we are in the habit of caUing such, are the mere mockeries and semblances of fact! I can honestly aver that I suffered — in the true sense of the word — more intense agony from the conflict of my distracted feelings than I ever did when lying imder the pangs of a compound fracture! and I may add, of a species of pain not to be alleviated by anodynes and soothed by hot flannels. To be brief. Bob, I felt that, though I had often caught slight attacks of the malady, at length I had contracted it in its deadliest form — a regular " blue case," as they say, with bad symptoms from the start. Has it ever struck you that a man may go through every . stage of a love fever without even so much as speaking to the object of his affections ? I can assure you that the thing is true, and I myself suffered nightly every vacillating sense of Hope, Fear, Ecstasy, Despair, Joy, Jealousy, and frantic Delight, just by following out the suggestions of my own fancy, and exalting into importance the veriest trifles of the hour. With what gloomy despondence did I turn homeward of an evening, when she sat back in the Box, and perhaps nothing of her but her bouquet was visible for a whole night — with what transports have I carried away the memory of her profile, seen but for a second! Then the agonies of my jealousy, as I .saw her listening, with pleased attention, to some essenced puppy — I could swear it was such — who lounged into her Box before the Ballet ! But at last came the climax of my joy, when I saw her " lorgnette" directed towards me, as I stood in the Pit, and actually felt her eyes on me! I can imagine some old Astronomer's ecstasy, as, gazing for hours on the sky of night, the star that he has watched and waited for, has suddenly shone through the glass of his telescope, and lit up his very heart within him with its radiance. I'd back myself to have experienced a stUl more thrilling sense of happiness as the beams of her bright eyes de- scended on me. S86 THE DODD TAMILY ABEOAD. AA first, Bob, I thought that the glances might have been meant for another. I turned and looked around me, ready to fasten a deadly quarrel upon him, whom I should have regarded at once as my greatest Enemy. But the company amidst which I stood soon reassured me. A few snuflfy-looking old Counts, with brown wigs and unshaven chins — a stray G-ovemment clerk, with a pinchbeck chain and a weak moustache, couldn't be my rivals, I looked again, but she had turned away her head ; and save that the " lorgnette " stni rested within her fingers, I'd have thought the whole a vision. Three nights after this the same thing occurred. I had taken care to resume the vesry same place each evening, to wear the same dress, to stand in the veiy same attitude — a very touching " pose" — which I had practised before the glass. I had not been more than two hours at my post, when she turned abruptly round and stared fuU at me. There could be no mistake^ — no misconception whatever"; for, as if to confirm my wavering doubts, her Mend took the glass from her, and looked full and long at me. Ton may imagine. Bob, somewhat of the preoccupation of my faculties when I tell you that I never so much as recognised her friend. I had thoughts, eyes, ears, and senses for one — aaid one only. Judge then my astonish- ment when she saluted me, giving that little gesture with the hand your [Florentines are such adepts in — a species of salutation so fuU of most expressive meaning. . Short of a crow^quiUed billet, neatly endorsed with her name, nothing could have spoken more plainly. It said, in a few words, " Come up here, Jim, we shall be deUghted to see you." I accepted the augury, Bob, as we used to say in Virgil, and in less than a minute had forced my passage through the dense crowd of the Kt, and was mounting the Box stsdrs, fi.ve steps at a spring. " "Whose Box is 1^0. 19 ?" said I to an official. " Madame de Groranton," was the reply. Awkward this ; never had heard the name before ; soumded like Erench ; might be Swiss ; possibly Belgian. H'o time for debating the point, tapped and entered — several per- sons within barring up the passage to the front — suddenly heard a well-known voice, which accosted me most cordially, and, to my in- tense surprise, saw before me Mrs. Grove Hampton! Tou know already all about her. Bob, and I need not recapitulate. " I fancied you were going to pass your life in distant adoration yonder, Mr. Dodd," said she, laughingly, while she tendered her hand for me to kiss. " Adeline, dearest, let me present to you my friend Mr. Dodd." A very cold — an icy recognition was the reply to this speech ; and Adeline opened her fan, and said something behind THE BODD FAMILY ABBOAB. 587 it to an elderly dandy beside hec, who laughed, and said, " Farfaite- mentj ma foii" Eegisteiing a secret vow to be tlie death of the antiquated tiger aforesaid, I entered into conversation with Mrs. Gr. H., who, not- withstanding some wipleaBant passages between our families, ex- pressed unqualified delight at the thought of meeting us all once more — ^inquired after my Mother most affectionately; and asked if the Girls were looking weU, and whether they rode and danced as beautifully ae ever^ She made, between times, little efforts to draw her friend into conversation by some allusion to Mary Aime's grace, or Gary's accompKshmemts ; but all in vain. Adeline only met the advances with a «old stare, or a little half smile of most sneering ex- pBession. It was not that she was distant and. reserved towards me. No, Bob ; her manner waa downright contemptuous ; it was insult- ing; and yet such was the fascination her beauty had acquired over me, that I could have knelt at her feet in adoration of her. I have no doubt that she saw.thisi I soon perceived that Mrs. Gore Hampton did. 3Jhere is a wicked consciousness in a woman's look as she sees a man "hooked," there's no mistaking. Her eyes ex- pressed this sentiment now ; and, indeed, she did not try to hide it. She invited me to come home and sup with them. She half tried to make Adeline say a word or two in support of the invitation ; but no, she would not even hear it;'aud when I accepted, she half peevishly declared she had got a bad headache, and would go to bed after the play. I tell you these trivial circumstances. Bob, just that you may fency how irretrievably lost I was when such palpable signs of dislike could not discourage me. I felt this all — and acutely, too ; but somehow with no sense of defeat, but a stubborn, resolute deter- mination to conquer them. I went back to sup with Mrs. G. H., and Adeline kept her word and retired. There were a few men — foreigners of distinc- tion'— but I sa/t beside the hostesSj and heard nothing but praises of that " dear Angel." These eulogies were mixed up with a certain tender: pity that puzsledme sadly, since they alwa,ys left the im- pression that either the Angel had done something herself. Or some one else had done it towards her, that called for all the most com- passionate sentiments of the human hearti As to any chance of hei history— who she was — whence she came, and so on — it was quite out of the question ; you might as well hope for the private life of some aerial spirit that descends in the midst of canvas clouds in a BaUet. She was there— to be worshipped, wondered at, and admiced, but not to be catechised. 588 THE DODD TAMILT ABBOAB. I left Mrs. H.'a house at three in the morning — a sadder but scarcely a wiser man. She had charged me most solemnly not to mention to any one where I had been — a precaution possibly sug- gested by the fact that I had lost sixty Napoleons at Lanzquenet — a game at which I left herself and her friends deeply occupied when I came away. I was burning with impatience for Tiverton. to come back to Florence. He had gone down to the Maremma to shoot snipe. Por, although I was precluded by my promise from divulging about the supper, I bethought me of a clever stratagem by which I could obtain aU his counsel and g^dance without any breach of faith, and this was, to take him with me some evening to the Pit, station him opposite to No. 19, and ask all about its occu- pants ; he knows everybody, everywhere, so that I should have the whole history of my unknown charmer on the easiest of all terms. Erom that day, and that hour, I became a changed creature. The gay foUies of my fashionable friends gave me no pleasure. I detested balls. I abhorred theatres. She ceased to. frequent the Opera. In fact, I gave the most unequivocal proof of my devotion to one by a most sweeping detestation of aU the rest of mankind. . Amidst my other disasters, I could not remember where Mrs. Gore Hampton lived. "We had driven to her house after the theatre ; it was a long way off, and seemed to take a very circuitous course to reach, but in what direction I had not the very vaguest notion of. The name of it, too, had escaped me, though she repeated it over several times when I was taking my leave of her. Of course, my omitting to call and pay my respects would subject me to every possible construction of rudeness and incivility, and here was, therefore, another source of irritation and annoyance to me. My misanthrophy grew fiercer. I had passed through the sad stage, and now entered upon the combattive period of the disease. I felt an iutense longing to have a quarrel with somebody. I fre- quented Cafes, and walked the streets in a battle, murder, and sudden- death humour — frowning at this man, seowhng at that. But, have you never remarked, the caprice of Portune is in this as in all other things ? Be indifferent at play, and you are sure to win ; show yourself regardless of a woman, and you are certain to hear she wants to make your acquaintance. Go out of a morning in a mood of universal love and philanthropy, and I'll take the odds that you have a duel on hands before evening. There was one man in Florence whom I especially desired to fix a quarrel upon — this was Morris, or as he was now called, Sir Morris Penrhyn. A fellow who unquestionably ought to have had very THE DODD TAMILT ABEOAD. 589 different claims on my regard, but who now, in this perversion of my feelings, struck me as exactly the man to shoot or be shot by. Don't you know that sensation. Bob, in which a man feels that he must select a particular person, quite apart from any misfortune he is suffering under, and make Mm pay its penalty ? It is a species of antipathy that defies all reason, and, indeed, your attfempt to argue yourself out of it only serves to strengthen and confirm its hold : I could have cried with vexation, but at the same instant heard Papa's voice on the staira,, saying; " If you'll step into the drawing-room, I'll join you presently," and Doctor Belton entered. Inspected if.not humility, dearest, at least deference, mingled with, intense astonishment and .perhaps ; admiration., WiE yoji believe me when I teU you that he was just as composed, as easy, and uncon- strakifid as if it was my .mstejs Gary ! The: very utmost I, could do was to restrain my angry sense of indignation ; I'm not, indeed, quite cesifctaa that Irsucsseededin' this, for I thought I. detected ai one 2 e=2,. 596 THE BODD 'FAMILY ABEOAD. moment a half-smile upou his features at a sally of more than ordi- nary smartness which I uttered. I cannot express to you how much he is disimproved, not in appearance, for I own that he is remarkably good-looking, and, strange to say, has even the air and beariug of fashion about him. It is his manners, Eitty, his insufferable ease and self-sufficiency that I allude to. He talked away about the world and society, about great people and their habits, as if they were amongst his earliest associations. He was not astonished at anything ; and stranger than all, showed not the slightest desire to base his present acquaintance upon our former intimacy. I told him I detested Ireland, and hoped never to go back there. He coldly remarked, that with such feelings it were probably wiser to live abroad. I sneered at the vulgar tone of the untraveUed English ; and his impertinent remark was an allusion to the demerits of badly- imitated manners and ill-copied attractions. I grew enthusiastic about Art, praised pictures and statues, and got eloquent about Music. Fancy his cool insolence, in telling me that he was too un- informed to enter upon these themes, and only knew when he was pleased, but without being able to say why. In fact, Kitty, a more iasufferable mass of conceit and presumption I never encountered, nor could I have believed that a few months of foreign travel could have converted a simple-hearted, unaffected young man, into a vain, self-opinionated coxcomb — too offensive to waste words on, and for whom I have really to apologise in -thus obtruding on your notice. It was an unspeakable relief to me when Papa joined us. A very little more would have exhausted my patience; and in my heart I believe the puppy saw as much, and enjoyed it as a triumph. "Worse again, too, Papa complimented him upon the. change a knowledge of the world had effected in him, and even asked me to concur in the commendation. I need not say that I replied to this address by a sneer not to be misunderstood, and I trust he felt it. He is to dine here to-day. He declined the invitation at first, but suffered himself to be persuaded into a cold acceptance afterwards. He had to go to Lord Stanthorpe's in the evening. I expected to hear him say " Stanthorpe's ;" but he didn't, and it vexed me. J. have not been peculiarly courteous nor amiable to him this morning, but I hope he wiU find me even less so at dinner. I only wish that a certain person was here, and I would show, by the preference of my manner, how I can converse with, and how treat those whom I really recognise as my equals. I must now hurry away to prepare Gary for what she is to expect, and, if possible, instil into her mind some share- of the prejudices which now torture my own. c.- ^%2^o^ I'/i'Pze' ^%3;^ THE DODD EAMIIiT ABEOAD. 597 Saturday Morning. Ererything considered, Kitty, our dinner of yesterday passed off pleasantly — a thousand times better than I expected. Sir Morris Penrhyn was o£ the party, too; and notwithstanding certain awkward passages that had once occurred between Mamma and Mm, comported himself agreeably and well. I conclude that Papa was able to make some explanations that must have satisfied him, for he appeared to renew his attentions to Gary ; at least he bestowed upon her some arctic civilities, whose frigid deference chill me even in memory. You wiU be curious to hear how Mr. B. (he appears to have dropped the Doctor^ appeared on further intimacy ; and really I am forced to confess that he rather overcame some of the unfavourable impressions his morning visit had left. He has evidently taken pains to profit by the opportunities afforded to him, and seen and learned whatever lay within his reach. He is a very respectable linguist, and not by any means so presumptuous as I at first supposed. I fancy, dearest, that somehow, unconsciously perhaps, we had been sparring with each other this morning, and that thus many of the opinions he appeared to profess were simply elicited by the spirit of contradic- tion. I say this, because I now find that we agree on a vast variety of topics, and even our judgments of people are not so much at variance as I could have imagined. Of course, Kitty, the sphere of his knowledge of the world is a very limited one, and even what he Tias seen has always been in the capacity of a subordinate. He has not viewed life from the eminence of one who shall be nameless, nor mixed in society with a rank that confers its prescriptive title to attention. I could wish he were more aware — more conscious of this fact. I mean, dearest, that I should like to see him more penetrated by his humble position, whereas his manner has an easy, calm unconstraint, that is exactly the opposite of what I imply. I cannot exactly, perhaps, convey the impression upon my own mind, but you may approximate to it, when I teU you that he vouchsafes neither surprise nor astonishment at the class of people with whom we now associate ; nor does he appear to recog- nise in them anvthing more exalted than our old neighbours at Bruff. Mamma gave him some rather sharp lessons on this score, which it is only fair to say that he bore with perfect good breeding. Upon the whole, he is really what would be called very agreeable, and un- questionably very good looking. I sang for him two things out of Verdi's last Opera of the "Trovatore;" but I soon discovered that music was one of the tastes he had not cultivated, nor did he evince S98 THE BODB FAMiLT ABEOAD. any knowledge wiatever when the conversation turned on dress. In fact, dearest, it is only your really fashionable man ever attains to a nice appreciation of this theme, or has a true sentiment for the poetry of costume. • Sir Morris and he seemed to have fallen into a sudden friendship, and found that they agreed precisely ia their opinion about Etruscan vases, frescoes, and pre-Baphaelite art — subjeets which I own general good breeiding usually excludes from discussion where there are pretty girls to talk to. Gary of course was in ecstasies with all this ; she thought — or fancied She thought — Morris most agreeable, whereas it was really the other man that '' made aU the running." James arrived while we were at supper, and the first little awkward- mess of the meeting over, became excellent friends with Morris. "With all his cold, unattractive qualities, I am sure that Morris is a very amiable and worthy person ; and if Gary likes him, I see no reason in life to refuse such an excellent offer^always provided that it be made. But of this, Kitty, I must be permitted to doubt, since he informed us that he was daily expecting his yacht out from EnglBmd, and was about to sail on a voyage which might possibly occupy upwards of two years. He pressed Mr. B. strongly to accompany him, assuring him that he now possessed influence sufficient to reinstate him in his career at his return. I'm not quite certain that the proposal, when more formally renewed, wiU not be accepted. I must tell you that I overheard Morris say, in a whisperjto Belton, " I'm sure if you ask her. Lady Louisa-wiU give you leave." Cannot be that the Doctor has dared to aspire to a Lady Louisa ? I almost fancy it may be so, dearest, and thkt this presumption is the true explanation of aU his cool self-Bufficiency. I only want to be certain of this to hate him thoroughly. Just before they took their leave a most awkward incident oc- curred. Mr. B., in answer to some question from Morris, took out his tablets to look over his engagements for the next day : " All ! by the way," said he, "that must not be' forgotten. There is a certain scampish relative of Lord Darewood, for whom I have been entrusted with a somewhat disagreeable commission. This hopeful young gentleman has at last discovered that his wits, when exercised within legal limits, *ill not support him, and though he has contrived to palm himsfelf off as a man of fashion on some second-rate folks who know no better, his bMU at ecart^ and' lansquenet feila to meet his requirements. He has acco]»dingly taken a higher flight, and actually committed a forgery. The Earl whose name was counterfeited has paid the biU, but charged me with the task of acquainting his nephew THE DOBD TAMIJjX ABEOAH. 599 with his knowledge of the fraud, and as frankly assuring him that, if the offence be repeated, he shall pay its penalty. I assure you I wish the duty had devolved upon any other, though, from aU I have heard, anything like feelings of respect or compassion would be utterly thrown away if bestowed on such an object as Lord G-eorge Tiverton." Oh, Kitty, the last words were not needed to make the cup of my anguish run over. At every syllable he uttered, the conviction of what was coming grew stronger ; and though I maintained conscious- ness to the end, it was by a struggle that almost convulsed me. As for Mamma, she flew out in a violent passion, called Lord Darewood some very hard names, and did not spare his emissary ; fortunately, her feelings so far overcame her that she became totally unintelligible, and was carried away to her room in hysterics. As I was obliged to follow her, I was unable to hear more. But to what end should I desire it ? Is not this last disappoiatment more than enough to discourage all hope and trustfulness for ever ? Shall my -heart ever open again to a sense of confidence in any ? "Vyhen I sat down to write, I had firmly resolved not to reveal this disgraceful event to you ; but somehow, Eitty, in the overflowing of a heart that has no recesses against you, it has come forth, and I leave it so. James came to, my room later on, and told me such dreadful storiea — he had heard them from Morris — of Lord Gr., that I really felt my brain turniag as I listened to him ; that the separation from his wife was all a pretence — part of a plot arranged between them ; that she, under the semblance of desertion, attracted to her the compas- sion — in some cases the affection — of young men of fortune, from whom her husband exacted the most enormous sums ; that James himself had been marked out for a victim in this way ; in &et, Kitty,. I cannot go on; — a web of such infamy was exposed, as I firmly believed tiU then impossible to eidst, and a degree of baseness laid bare, that, for the sake of human nature, I trust has net its paralleL I caai write no more. Tears of shame as well as sorrow are blotting my paper, and ia my self-abasement I feel how changed I must haye become, when, ia reflecting over such disgrace as -this, I have a single thought but of contempt for one so lost and dishonoured. Tours, in the depth of affliction, Mabt AWNB DOBB. 600 THE DOBD TAMILT ABEOAD. LETTEE LXXII. KENNY JAMES DODD TO THOMAS PUECELL, ESQ., OF THE SEANCE, BKUPr. Florence. Mt beae Tom, I HAVE had a busy week of it, and even now I scarcely perceive that the day is come when I can rest and repose myself. The pleasure-life of this same capital is a very exhausting process, and to do' the thing weU, a man's constitution ought to be in as healthy a condition as his cash account ! Now, Tom, it is an unhappy fiiict, that I am a very "low letter" in both person and pocket, and I should be sorely puzzled to say whether I find it harder to daace or to pay for the music ! Don't fancy that I'm grumbling, now ; not a bit of it, old feUow ; I have had my day, and as pleasant a one as most men. Axid if a man starts in life with a strong fund of genial liking for his fellows, enjoying society less for its display than for its own resources in developing the bright side of human nature, take my word for it, he'U carry on with him, as he goes, memories and recollections enough to make his road agreeable, and, what is far better, to render himself companionable to others. Ton teU me you want to hear " aU about Florence" — a modest «:equest, truly ! Why, man, I might SR a volume with my own short .experiences, and afterwards find that the whole could be condensed into a foot-note for the bottom of a page. In the first place, there are at least half a dozen distinct aspects in this place, which are almost as many cities. There is the Florence of Art — of pictures, statues, churches, frescoes, a town of unbounded treasures in. objects of high interest. There are Galleries, where a whole life might be passed in cultivating the eye, refining the taste, and elevating the imagination. There is the Elorence of Historical Association, with its palaces recalling the feudal age, and its castellated strongholds, telling of the stormy times before the " Medici." There is not a street, there is scarcely a house, whose name does not awaken some stirring event, and bring you back to the period when men were as great in crime as in genius. Here, an inscription tells you Benvenuto Cellini lived and laboured ; yonder was the window of his studio > there, the narrow street through which he walked at nightfall, his THE DODD FAMILY ABEOAD. 601 hand upon his rapier, and his left arm well enveloped in his mantle. There, the stone where Dante used to sit ; there, the villa Boccaccio inhabited ; there, the lone tower where GallUeo watched ; there, the house, unchanged in everything, of the greatest of them all, Michel Angelo himself. The pen sketches of his glorious conceptions adorn the walls, the half-finished models of his immortal works are on the brackets. That splendid palace on the sunny Amo was Alfieri's. Oo where you will, in fact, a gorgeous story of the past reveals itself before you, and you stand before the great triumphs of human genius, with the spirit of the authors around and about you. There is also Florence the Beautiful and the Picturesque; Morence the City of Fashion and Splendour, and, saddest of all, Florence garrisoned by the stranger, and held in subjection by the Austrian ! I entertain no bigoted animosity to the German, Tom ; on the contrary, I like him : I like his manly simplicity of character, his thorough good^faith, his unswerving loyalty ; but I own to you, his £gure is'out of keeping with the picture, here — the very tones of his harsh gutturals grate painfully on the ears, attuned to softer sounds. It is pretty nearly a hopeless quarrel when a Sovereign has recourse to a foreign intervention between himself and his subjects ; as in private life, there is no reconciliation when you have once called Doctors' Commons to your councils. Tou may get damages ; you'll never have tranquillity. You'll say, perhaps, the thing was inevitable, and couldn't be helped. Nothing of the kind. Coercing the Tuscans by Austrian bayonets was like herding a flock of sheepwith buU-dogs. I never saw a people who so little require the use of strong measures ; the difficulty of ruling them lies not in their spirit of resistance, but in its very opposite — a plastic facility of temper that gives way to every pressure. Just like a horse with an over-fl.ne mouth, you never can have him in hand, and never know that he has stumbled till he is down. It was the duty of our Government to have prevented this occupa- tion, or at least to have set some limits to its amount and duration. "We did neither, and our influence has grievously suffered in conse- quence. Probably at no recent period of history was the name of England so little respected in the entire Peninsula as at present. And now, if I don't take care, I'll really involve myself in a grumbling reverie, so here goes to leave the subject at once. These Italians, Tom, are very like the Irish. There is the same blending of mirth and melancholy in the national temperament, the same imaginative cast of thought, the same hopefulness, and the same indolence. In justice to our own people, I must say that they 602 THE BOBB I'AMIIiT ABBOAD. are the better of the two. Paddy- has strong attachineiits, and is imqiifistionably courageous ; neither of these qualities are conspicuous here. It would be ungenerous and unjust to pronounce upon the " naturel" of a people who for centuries have been subjected to every species of misrule, whose moral training has been jilso either neglected or corrupted, and whose only lessons haive been those of craft and de- ception. It would be worse than rash to assume that a people so treated were unfitted for a freedom they never enjoyed, or unsuited to a Hberty they never even heard of. StiU, I may be permitted to doubt that Constitutional G-ovemment will ever find its home ia the hearts of a Southern nation. The family, Tom — ^the fireside, the domestic habits of a Northern people are the normal schools for self- government. It is in the reciprocities of a household men learn to apportion their share of the burdens of life, and to work for the common weal. The fellow who with a handful of chestnuts can provi- sion himself for a whole day, and who can pass the night under the shade of a fig-tree, acknowledges no such responsibilities. All-suffic- ing to himself, he recognises no claims upon him for exertion in be- half of others ; and as to the duties of citizenship, he would repudiate them as an intolerable burden. Take my word for it, ParUamentary Institutions wiU only flourish where you have coal-fires and carpets, and Elective Governments have a close affinity to easy-chairs and hearth-rugs ! You are curious to learn " how far familiarity with works of high art may have eontributed to influence the national character of Italy ?" I don't like to dogmatise on such a subject, but so far as my own narrow experience goes, I am far from attributing any high degree of culture to this source. I even doubt whether objects of beauty suggest a high degree of enjoyment, except to intellects already cultivated. I suspect that your man of Glasgow or Manchester, who never saw anything more artistic than a power-loom and a spinning- jenny, would stand favourable comparison with him who daily passes beside the " Dying Gladiator" or the Famese Hercules. Of course I do not extend this opinion to the educated classes, amongst whom there is a very high'range of acquirement and culti- vation. They bring, moreover, to the knowledge of^ any subject a peculiar subtlety of perception, a certain MachiaveUian ingenuity, such as I have never noticed elsewhere. A great deal of the national distrustfulness and suspicion has its root in this very habit, and makes me often resigned to Northern dulness for the sake of Northern re- liance and good fiiith. They are most agreeable in all the intercourse of society. Less THE BODB rAMILT.ABBOAJ). oUS fuH of small attentions than the I'rench, less ceremonious ttian the Germans, they are easier in manner than either. They are natural to the very verge of indifference ; but above all their qualities stands pre-eminent their good-nature. An ungenerous remark, a harsh allusion, an unkind anecdote,,are jitterly unknown amongst them, and all that witty smartness which makes the success of a French salon, would find no responsive echo in an Italian drawing'troom. In a word, Tom, they are eminently a people to live amongst. They do not contribute much, but they exact as little ; and if never broken-hearted when you, separate, they are de- lighted when you meet; falling -in naturally with your humour, tolerant of anything and everything, except what gives trouble ! There now, my dear Tom, are all my Italian experiences in a few words. I feel that by a discreet use of my material I might have made a tureen with what I have only filled a teaspoon; but as I am not writing for the PubKe, but; only for Tom FurceU, I'U not. grumble at my wastefulness. Of the society, what can I say that would not as weH.apply^ to . any city of the same size as much resorted to by strangers ? The world of fashion is pretty much the same thing everywhere ; and : though we may "change the venue," we are always pleading the same cause. They tell me that social liberty here is understood in a very liberal sense, and the right of private judgment on questions of morality exercised with a more than Protestant independence. I ■heai: of things being done that could not be done .elsewhere, and so on ; but were I only to employ my own unassisted faculties, I should say that everything follows its ordinary routine, and that profligacy does not put on in Morenee a single " travesty" that I have not seen at Brussels and Baden, and twenty similar places ! True, people :know each other very well, and discuss each other in, all the privi- ledged candour close friendship permits. This sincerity, abused, as any good thing is liable to be, now and then grows scandalous ; but still, Tom, though they may bespatter you with mud, nobody ever thinks. you too dirty for society, iln point of fact, there is a great deal of evn speaking, and very little malevolence; abundance of slander, but scarcely any ill-wiU. Maik you, these are what they .tell me; for up to this moment I have not seen or heard anything but what has pleased me — met much courtesy, and some actual cor- diaEty. And surely, if a man can chance npon a city where the climate is good, the markets weU supplied, the women pretty, and the Bankers, traetable, he must needs be an iU-conditionedfellow not to rest satisfied with his good fortune. I don't mean to say I'd, like 604 THE DODD EAMILT ABEOAD. to pass my life here, no more than I would like to wear a domino, and spend the rest of my days ia a Masquerade, for the whole thing is just as unreal, just as unnatural ; but it is wonderfully amusing for a while, and I enjoy it greatly. IVom what I have seen of the world of pleasure, I begin to suspect that we English people are never likely to have any great success in our attempts at it ; and for this simple reason, that we bring to our social hours exhausted bodies and fatigued minds ; we labour hard all day in Law Courts, or Counting-houses, or Committee-rooms, and when evening comes are overcome by our exertions, and very little disposed for those efforts which make conversation brilliant, or iater- course amusing. Your foreigner, however, is a chartered Libertine. He feels that Nature never meant him for anything but idleness ; he takes to frivolity naturally and easily ; and, what is of no small importance too, without any loss of self-esteem ! Ah, Tom ! that is the great secret of it all. We never do our fooling gracefully. There is everlastingly rising up within us a certain bitter conviction that we are not doing fairly by ourselves, and that our faculties might be put to better and more noble uses than we have engaged them in. We walk the stage of life like an actor ashamed of his costume, and " our motley" never sets easily on us to the last. I think I had better stop dogmatising, Tom. Heaven knows where it may lead me, if I don't. Old Woodcock says that " he might have been a vagabond, if Providence hadn't made him a Justice of the Peace ;" so I feel that it is not impossible I might have been a Moral Philo- sopher, if Pate hadn't made me the husband of Mrs. Dodd ! Wednesday Afternoon. Mt deae Tom, I had thought to-have despatched this prosy epistle without being obliged to inflict you with any personal details of the Dodd family. I was even vaunting to myself that I had kept us all " out of the Indictment," and now I discover that I have made a signal failure, and the codicil must revoke the whole body of the testament. How shall I ever get my head clear enough to relate all I want to tell you ? I go looking after a stray idea the way I'd chase a feUow in a crowded fair or market, catching a glimpse of him, now — Closing him, again — here, with my hand almost on him — and the next minute no sign of him! Try and follow me, however; don't quit me for a moment ; and, above all, Tom, whatever vagaries I may fall into, be still assured that I have a road to go, if I only have the wit to dis- cover it ! THE BODD FAMILr ABEOAD. 605 !Pirst of all about Morris, or Sir Morris, as I ought to call him. I told you in my last how warmly he had taken up Mrs. D.'s cause, and how mainly instrumental was he in her liberation. This being accomplished, however, I could not but perceive that he inclined to resume the cold and distant tone he had of late assumed towards us, and rather retire from, than incur, any renewal of our intimacy. "When I was younger in the world, Tom, I believe I'd have let him follow his humour undisturbed ; but with more mature experience of ife, I have come to see that one often sacrifices a real friendship in thef indulgence of some petty regard to a ceremonial usage, and so I resolved, at least, to know the why, if I could, of Morris's conduct. I went frankly to him at his hotel, and asked for an explanation. He stared at me for a second or two without speaking, and then said something about the shortness of my memory — a recent circumstance — and such like, that I could make nothing of. Seeing my embarrass- ment, he appeared slightly irritated, and proceeded to unlock a writing-desk on the table before him, saying hurriedly : " I shall be able to refresh your recollection, and when you read over — —" he stopped, clasped his hand to his forehead suddenly, and, as if overcome, threw himself down into a seat, deeply agitated. " Forgive me," said he at length, " if I ask you a question or two. You remember being ill at Genoa, don't you ?" " Perfectly." " Tou can also remember receiving a letter from me at that time?" " No— nothing of the kind !" " No letter — you received no letter of mine ?" "None!" " Oh, then, this must really " he paused, and, overcoming what I saw was a violent burst of indignation, he walked the room up and down for several minutes. "Mr. Dodd," said he to me, taking my hand in both his own," I have to entreat your forgiveness for a most mistaken impression on my part influencing me in my re- lations, and suggesting a degree of coldness and distrust which, owing to your manliness of character alone, has not. ended in our estrangement for ever. I believed you had been in possession of a letter from me ; I thought until this moment that it really had reached you. I now know that I was mistaken, and have only to express my sincere contrition for having acted under a rash credulity." He went over this again and again, always, as it seemed to me, as if about to say more, and then suddenly checking himself under what appeared to be a quickly-remembered reason for reserve. 606 THE DODD EAMIIiT ABEOAD. I was getting impatient at laaiJ.r I thought that the explanatiou'ex- plained little, and was reaUy about to say so ; but he anticipated me by saying : " Believe me, my dear Sir,, any Bufiiering, any unhappinesS'that. my error has occasioned, has fallen entirely upon me. , You,, ^t^ least,- have nothing to complain of. The letter which ought to have reached you contained a proposal feom me for the hand of your younger daughter; a ;prbposal which I now make to you, happily, jn.a way that cannot be frustrated -by an accidrait." He went on to press his suit, Tom, eagerly and warmly; but, still with that scrupulous regard to truthfulness I have ever remarked in him. He ackojowledged the difference in age, the i difference in< character, the disparity between Gary's joyous, sunny nature and his own colder mood; but he hoped foE-happiness, on grounds so solid and .so reasonable, thati ghowed ma much of his own thoughtful habit of mind. Of his fortune, he simply said that, .it was very far above aH^hia. requirements ; that he himself had few, if any, expensive taBtES,jbiit was amply able to indulge such in a wife, jf she were disposed to cultivate them. He added, that he knew my daughter had always been accustomed to habits of luxury and expense, always liied in a style that included every possible gratification, and therefore^ if not in possession of ample means, he never would have presumed on his present offer. I felt for a moment the vulgar pleasure that such flattery confers. I own to you, Tom, I experienced a degree of satis&etion at thinfring that even to the observant eyes of Morris himself — old soldier as he was — the Dodds had passed for briUia&t and feishionable folk, in the fullest enjoyment of every gift. of fiartune! but as quickly a more honest and more manly impulse overcame this thought, and in a few words I told him that he was tot^ly mistaken 4 that I was a poor, half-ruined Irish Grentlemaai,. with an indolent teQantry and. an en- cumbered estate ; that our means afforded no possible pretension to the style ia which we Uved, nor the society we mixed iu ; that it would require; years of patient' economy and privation to repay the extravagance into which our foreign tour had launched us ; andthat, so conviuoed was I of the inevitable ruin a continuance of such a life must incur, I had firmly resolved to go back to Ireland at the end of the present month, and never leave it again for the rest of my days. I suppose I spoke wajsmly, for I felt deeply. The shame many ox the avowals might have cost me in calmer mood was forgotten^ now, in my acdent determination to be honest and .aboveboard. I was resolved, too, to make amends to my own heart for all the petty THE DODD FAMILY ABBOAB. 607 deceptions I had descended to in a former case, and,/ even at the cost of the loss of a son-in-law, to secure a little sense of selC-esteem. He would .not let me finish, Tom, but, grasping my hand in his with a grip I didn't believe he was capable of, he said : "Doddj" he -forgot the Mr. this time—" Dodd, you are an honest, true-hearted feUow, and I always thought so. Consent now to my entreaty — at least do not refuse it — and I'd not exchange my condi- tion with that of any man in Europe !" Egad, I could not have recognised him as he spoke, for his cheek coloured up, and his eye flashed, and there was a dash of energy about him I had never detecte'd in his nature. It was just the quality I feared he was deficient in. Ay, Tom, I can't deny it,, old Celt that I am, I wouldn't give a brass farthing for a fellow whose temperament cannot be warmed up to some burst of momentary enthusiasm ! " Of my hearty consent and my good wishes," I speedily assured him; just adding, " Cary must say the rest." I told him frankly that I saw it was a great match for. my daughter ; that both in rank and fortune he was considerably above what she might have looked for; but with aU that, if she herself wouldn't have taken him in his days of humbler destiny, my advice would be, " don't have him now." He left me for a moment to say something to his mother — I suppose some explanation about this ■. same letter that went astray, and of which I can make nothing — and then they came back together. The old lady seemed as well pleased as her son, and told me that his choice was her own in every respect. She spoke of Gary -with the most hearty afiection ; but with aU her praise of her, she doesn't know half her real worth ; but even what she did say brought the tears to my eyes, and — I'm airaid — I made a fool of myself! Tou may be sure, Tom, that it was a happy day with me, although, &)T a variety of reasons, I was obliged. to keep my secret for my own heart. Morris proposed that he should be permitted to wait on us the next monung, to pay his respects to Mrs. D. upon her liberation, and thus his visit might be made the means of re-opening our ac- quaintance. Tou'd think that to these arrangements, so simple and natural, one might look forward with an easy tranquillity. So did I, Tom — and so was I mistaken. Mr. James, whose conduct latterly seems to have pendulated between" monastic severity and the very wildest dissipariiion, takes it into his wise head that Morris -has in- sulted him. He thinks — no^ not thinks^ but dreams — that this calm- tempered, quiet Gentleman is pursuing an organised system of out- rage towavda him,, and ' has for a time back made him the mark .of bis 608 THE DODB FAMILY ABEOAD. sarcastic pleasantry. PuU of this sage conceit, he hurries off to his hotel, to offer him a personal insult. They fortunately do not meet ; but James, ordering pen and paper, sits down and indites a letter. I have not seen it : but even his Mend considers it to have been " a step iU-advised aild inconsiderate — in fact, to be deeply regretted." I cannot conjecture what might have been Morris's conduct under other circumstances, but in his present relations to myself, he saw, probably, but one course open to him. He condescended to over- look the terms of this insulting note, and calmly ask for an explana- tion of it. By great good luck, James had placed the affair in young Belton's hands — our former Doctor at Bruff — who chanced to be on his way through here ; and thus, by the good sense of one, and the calm temper of the other, this rash boy has been rescued from one of the most causeless quarrels ever heard of. James had started for Modena, I believe, with a carpet-bag full of cigars, a IVench novel, and a bullet-mould; but before he had arrived at his destination, Morris, Belton, and myself were laughing heartily over the whble adventure. Morris's conduct throughout the entire business raised him still higher in my esteem ; and the consummate good tact with which he avoided the slightest reflection that might pain me on my son's score, showed me that he was a thorough Grentleman. I must say, too, that Belton behaved admirably. Brief as has been his resi- dence abroad, he has acquired the habits of a perfect man of the world, but without sacrificing a jot of his truly frank and generous temperament. Ah ! Tom, it was not without some sharp self-reproaches that I saw this young feUow, poor and friendless as he started in life, struggling with that hard fate that insists upon a man's feeling in- dependent in spirit and humble in manner, fighting that bitter battle contained in a Dispensary Doctor's life, emerge at once into an ac- complished, well-informed Qentleman, weU versed in aU the popu- lar topics of the day, and evidently stored with a deeper and more valuable kind of knowledge — I say, I saw all this, and thought of my own boy, bred up with what were unquestionably greater advantages and better opportunities of learning, not obliged to ad- venture on a career in his mere student years, but with ample time and leisure for cultivation ; and yet, there he was — there he is, this minute — ^and there is not a station nor condition in life wherein he could earn half-a-crown a day. He was educated, as it is facetiously called, at Dr. Stingem's school. He read his Homer and Virgil, vrrote his false quantities, and blundered through his Greek themes like the rest. He went through — ^it's a good phrase— some books of THE DODD FAMILY ABBOAB. 609 Euclid, and covered reams of foolscap with equations ; and yet, to this hour, he can't translate a classic, nor do a sum in common arithmetic, while his handwriting is a cuneiform character that defies a key : and with all that, the boy ia not a fool, nor deficient in teachable qualities. I hope and trust this system is coming to an end. I wish sincerely, Tom, that we may have seen the last of a teaching that for one whom it made accomplished and well informed, converted fifty into Pedants, and left a hundred Dunces ! In- telligible spelling, and readable writing, a little history, and the " Eule of Three," some geography, a short course of chemistry and practical mathematics — that's not too much, I think — and yet I'd be easy in my mind if James had gone that far, even though he were ignorant of " spondees," and had never read a line of that classic morality they call the Heathen Mythology. I'd not have touched upon this ungrateful theme, but that my thoughts have been running on the advantages we were to have derived from our Foreign tour, and some misgivings striking me as to their being realised. Perhaps we were not very docile subjects — ^perhaps we set about the thing in a wrong way — perhaps we had not stored our minds with the preliminary knowledge necessary — perhaps anything you like, in short; but here we are, in all' essentials, as ignoraiit of everything a residence abroad might be supposed to teach, as though we had never quitted Dodsborough. Stop — I'm going too fast — ^we have learned some things not usually acquired at home ; we have attained to an extravagant passion for dress, and an inordinate love of grjmd acquaintances. Mary Anne is an advanced student in modem French romance literature ; James, no mean proficient at Ecarte ; Mrs. D. has added largely to the stock of what she calls her " knowledge of life," by familiar intimacy with a score of people who ought to be at the galleys ; and I, with every endeavour to oppose the tendency, have grown as suspicious as a Government spy, and as meanly inquisitive about other people's afiairs as though I . were Prime Minister to an Italian Prince. "We have lost that wholesome reserve with respect to mere ac- quaintances, and by which our manner to our friends attained to its distinctive signs of cordiality, for now we are on the same terms with all the world. The code is, to be charmed with everything and everybody — with their looks — with their manners — ^with their house and their liveries — ^with their table and their " toilette" — ay, even with their vices ! There is the great lesson, Tom ; you grow lenient to everything save the reprobation of wrong, and that you set down 2e 610 THE DODD PAMILT ABEOAD. fdp rank hypocrisy, and cry out against as the blackest of all the blemishes of humanity. Nop is it a small evil that our attachment to home is weakeaied, and even a sense of shame engendered wilii respeet to a hundred little habits and customs that to foreign eyes appear absurd — aad perhaps vulgar. And lastly comes the great qpiestioa, How are we ever to live in our own country again, with all these exotic notions and opinions ? I don't mean how are vie to bear Ireland, but how is Irdcmd to endure ws? An American shrewdly remarked to me t'other day, " That one of the great difficulties of the slave •question was, how to emancipate the slave owners? how to liberate the shackles of their rusty old prejudices, and fit them to stand side by side with real freemen ?" and in a vast variety of questions you'll often discover that the puzzle is on the side opposite to that we had been looking at. In this way do I feel that aU. my old friends will have much to overlook — much to forgive in my piresent mooda of thinking. I'll no more be able to take interest ia home polities again, than I could live on potatoes ! My sympathies are now more Catholic. I can feel acutely for Schleswiek-Holstein, or the Druses at Lebanon^ I am deepty interested about the Danubian Provinces, and strong on Sebastopol; but I regard as contemptible the cares of a Quarter Sessions, or the business of the " Union." If you want me to listen, you must talk of the Cossacks^ or the war in the Caucasus ; and I am far less anxious about who may be the new Member for Bruff, than who will be the next " Vladica" of " MJonten^;ro." These ruminations of mine might never come to a conclusion, Tom, if it were not that I have just received a short note from Belton, with a pressing entreaty that he may see me at once on a matter of importance to myself, and I have ordered a coach to take me over to his hotel. If I can get back in time for post hour I'll be able to explain the reason of this sudden call, till when, I say, adieu. THE EODD FJLMHiT ABBOAP. SH liETTEE IrXXni. MISS CAEOLINE DODD TO MISS COX, AT MISS MINCING'S ACABEMX, BLACK BOCK, IKELAND. Ftoence. Mt deahbst Miss Oor, It would be worse than ingratitude in me were I to defer telling you how happy I am, and -with what a perfect shower of fevours Fortune has just overwhehned me ! Little thought I, a few weelis back, that Moremoe was to become to me the spot nearest and dearest to my heart, associated as it is, and ever must be, with the most blissful event of my life ! Sir Penrhyn Morris, who, from some unexplained misoonoeptioD, had all but ceased to know us, wus accidentally thrown in our way by the dircumstance of Mamma's imprisonmeBt. By his kind and zealous aid her liberation was at length aoeomplished, and, as a matter of course, he called to make his inquiries after her, and receive our fateful acknowledgments. I scarcely can tell — my head is too confused to remember — the steps by which he retraced his former place in our mtimacy. It is possible there may have been expfemations on both sides. I only know tiat he took his leave one morning with -the very coldest of salutations, aaid appeared on the next day with a manner of the deepest devotion, so evidently directed towards myself, that it would have been downri^t affectation to appear indifierent to it. He asked me in a low and faltering voice if I would accord him a few moments' interview. He spoke the words with a degree of effort at calmness that gave thean a most si^ificant meaning, and I sud- denly rememljered a certain passage in one of your letters to me, wherein you speak of the in-considerate eonduet which girls occa- sionally pursue in accepting the attentions of men, whose difference in age would seem to exclude them from the eategoiy of suitors. So far from iaraig incurred this error, I had actually retreated from any advances on his part, not from the disparity of our ages, but from the far wider gulfs that separated Ms highly cultivated and in- formed mind from my ungifted and unstored intellect. Partly in shame at my inferioriifcy, partly witi a conscious sense of what hifi impression of me must be, I avoided, so far as I could, his intimacy' and even when domesticated with him, I sought for occupations in 2e2 612 THE DODD TAHILT ABBOAS. wMch he could not join, and estranged myself from the pursuits whicli he loved to practise. Oh! my dear, kind G-ovemess, how thoroughly I recognise the truthfulness of all your views of life ; how sincerely I own that I have never followed them without advantage — never neglected them without loss. How often have you told me that " Dissimulation is never good;" that, however speciously we may persuade ourselves that in feigning a part we are screening our self-esteem from insult, or saving the feelings of others, the policy is ever a bad one ; and that, " if our sincerity be only allied with an honest humility, it never errs." The pains I took to escape from the dangerous proxi- mity of his presence, suggested to him that I disKked his attentions and desired to avoid them ; and acting on this conviction it was that he made a journey to England during the time I was a visitor at his Mother's. It would appear, however, that his esteem for me had taken a deeper root than he perhaps suspected, for on his return his attentions were redoubled, and I could detect that in a variety of ways his feelings towards me were not those of mere friendship. Of mine towards him I will conceal nothing from you. They were deep and intense admiration for qualities of the highest order, and as much of love as consisted with a kind of fear — a sense of almost terror lest he should resent the presumption of such affection as mine. You already know something of our habits of life abroad — wasteftd and extravagant beyond all the pretensions of our fortune. It was a difficult thing for me to carry on the semblance of our assumed posi- tion so as not to throw discredit upon my family, and, at the same time, avoid the disingenuousness of such a part. The struggle, from which I saw no escape, was too much for me, and I determined to leave the Morrises and return home — to leave a house wherein I already had acquired the first steps of the right road in life, and go back to dissipations in which I felt no pleasure, and gaieties that never enlivened ! I did not tell you all this at the time, my dear friend, partly because I had not the courage for it, and partly that the avowal might seem to throw a reproach on those whom my affec- tion should shield from even a criticism. If I speak of it now, it is because, happily, the theme is one hourly discussed amongst us in all the candour of true frankness. We have no longer concealments, and we are happy. It may have been that the abruptness of my departure offended Captain Morris, or possibly some other cause produced the estrange- ment ; but,'assuredly, he no longer cultivated the intimacy he had THE BODD rAMIIT ABEOAD. 613 once seemed so ardently to desire, and, until the event of Mamma's misfortune here, he ceased to visit us. And now came the interview I have alluded to ! Oh, my dearest friend, if there be a moment in. life which combines within it the most exquisite delight with the most torturing agony, it is that in which an affection is sought for by one who, immeasurably above us in aU the gifts of fortune, stiU seems to feel, that there is a presump- tion in his, demand, and that Ms appeal may be rejected. I know not how to speak of that conflict between pride and shame, between the ecstasy of conquest and the innate sense of the unworthiness that had won the victory. ! Sir Penrhyn thought, or fancied that he thought, me fond of dis- play and splendour— that in conforming to the quiet habits of his Mother's house I was only submitting with a good grace to priva- tions. : I undeceived him at once. I confessed, not without some shame, that I was in a manner unsuited to the details of an exalted station — that wealth and its accompaniments would in reality be rather burdens than pleasure. to one whose tastes were humble as my own — ^that, in fact, I was so little of a " Grrande Dame," that I ■ should inevitably break down in the part, and that no appliances of mere riches could repay for. the onerous duties of dispensing them. "In so much," interrupted he, with a half-smUe, " that you would prefer a poor man to a rich one ?" s " If you mean,", said I, "a poor man who felt no shame- in his poverty, in comparison with a rich man who felt his pride in his wealth, I say, Tes." " Then what say you to one who has passed through both ordeals," said he, " and only asks that you should share either with him to make him happy?" I have no need to teU you my answer. It satisfied him, and made mine the happiest heart in the world. And now we are to be married, dearest, in a fortnight or three weeks — as soon, in fact, as may be ; and then we are to take a short tour to Eome and Naples, where Sir Penrhyn' s yacht is to meet us ; after which we visit Malta, coast along Spain, and home. Home sounds delightfully when it means aU that one's fondest fancies can weave of country, of domestic happiaess, of duties heartily entered on, and of affections weU repaid. Penrhyn is very splendid ; the castle is of feudal antiquity, and the grounds are princely in extent and beauty. . Sir Morris is justly proud of his ancestral possessions, and longs to show me its stately magni- ficence ; but stm more do I long for the moment when my dear Miss 6X4 THE DODD FAMILY ABECtAD. poi will be my guest, aad take up her qaflitera in a ceartain little room tHat opens on a terraced gwden. oreilaokiaig ihe sea. I fixed on the apot tlie TCry inatant I saw tbe dcaiwiiig «f the Caatle, aaiiL I am certain you will not find it ia your heart to ijafuse me what will tkns Eflake up the peEfect measure of my h^piness. In all ihe selfishnesa of my j-oy, I have forgottea to tell you. of ^Florence ; but, in truth, it would require a calmer head than mine to talk of Q-alleriea aud worka of Ajit, while my iHma^ata ace running an the blight realitiea of my condition. It is true we go everywhere and see everything, but I am in such a humo«r to be pleased that I am delighted with aU, and can be critical to nothiag. IhaJf smspect tiat Art, as Art, is a source of pleasure to a rery fbw. I meacn, that the number ia a limited on« which can enter into all the sainute excel- lences of a i^eat work, appreciate Juatiy the difficulties overcome, and value desarmgly the re^ triumph aoooniplidsed. For myaeH I know and feel that painting has its greatest charm for me in its power of BUggeatiireneaSy and, consequently, the subject is often of more cosse- quenee than the treatm.^it af it ; not that I am cold to tbe chaste loveliness of a Baphael, or indifferent to the gorgeous beau%- of a Ctiordano. They appeal to me, howerer, in somewhat tie same waty, and my mind at once sets to work upon an ideal character of the CTeation before me. That this same admiration of mixte ia a very humble effort at appreciating artistic ratcdfeniee, I want no better piavis, affecting to write down his words, but in his confusion unable to form a letter. " I shall accept yoiir caution as it deserves," said Belton, " and say that they are a party of professional svrindlers — men who dieat at play, intimidate ftn" money, and even commit forgery for it." Davis moved towards the door, but Belton ax^ieipated him, and he sat down again without a word. " Now, Mr. Davis," said he, calmly, "it is left entirdy to my dis- cretion in what way I am to proceed with respect to one of the parties to these frauds." As he got thus far, the waiter entered, and pre- sented a visiting card, on which Belton said — " Tes, show him np- sfcairs," and the next minute Lord Oeorge Tiverton made his appear- ance. He was already in the middle of the room ere he perceived me, and for the first time in my life I saw signs of embarrassment and shame on his impassive features. " They told me you were alone, Mr. Belton," said he, angrily, and as if abomt to retire. " Por all the purposes you have come upon, my Lord, it is the same as though I were." " Is it bloiwn, then ?" asked his Lordship of Davis ; and the other replied with an almost imperceptible nod. Muttering what sounded like a curse, Tiverton threw himself into a chair, drawing his hat, whidi he still wore, more deeply over his eyes. I assure you, Tom, that so overwhehned was I by this distressing scene, for, say what jou will, there is nothing so distressing as to see the man with whom you have lived in intimacy, if not actual friend- ship, suddenly displayed in all the glaring colours of scoundrelism. Ton feel yourself so humiliated before such a spectacle, that the sense of shame becomes like an atmosphere around you — I actually heard nothing — I saw nothing. A scene of angry discussion ensued between Belton and the Lawyer — ^Tiverton never nttered a word— ^of THE SODS TAMIIY ABBOAD. 619 whieh I caioglai not one syllable. I could oinly mark, at last, that Belton had g^ed the upper hand, and. in the other's sufcdned manner and submissive tone defeat was plainly written. " Will Mr. Dodddeny his liability ?" cried out Daivis ; and though, I suppose, he must have said the words manly times over, I Could not bring nayaelf to suppose they were addressed to me. " I shall not ask him that question," said Belton, " butyoM may." " Hang it ! Curl, you know it was * a plant,' " said Tiv«^on, who was now smiokiug a cigar as coolly as possible. " "What's the use of push- ing them further. "We've lost the game, man !" " Just so, my Lord," said Beltoa ; " and notwithstanding aU his pre- tended boldness, nobody is more aware of that fact than Mr. Curl Davis, and the sooner he adopts your Lordship's frankaess the quicker wiU this affair be settled." Belton and the Lawyer conversed eagerly together in half- whispers. I could only Cfverhear a stray word or two ; but they were enoagh to show me that Davis, was pressing for some kind of a compromise, to which the other would not a«eede, and the terms of which came down Successively from five hundred pounds to three, two, one, and at last fifty. " No, nor five, Sir — not five shillings in such a cause!" saidBdtoa, determinedly. " I should feel it an indelible disgrace upon me for ever to concede one farthing to a scheme so base and contemptible. Take my word for it, to escape exposure in such a case is no slight immunity." I>avis stin demurred, but it was rather with the disciplined resist- ance of a well-trained rascal than with the ardour of a strong con- viction. The altereatian— for it was such— interested me wonderfully little, my attention brang entirely bestowed on Tiverton, who had now lighted his third dgai^ which he was smoking away vigoroiisly, never once bestowingalook towards me, nor in any way seeming to recognise my presence. A sudden pause in the discrassion attracted me, and I saw that Mr. Davis, was handing over several papers, which, to my practical eye, resembled Bills, to Belton, who carrfuUy perused each of them in turn before endosing them in his pocket-book. " Now, my Lord, I am at your service," said Belton j " but I pre- sume OUT interview may as wdi be without witnesses." "I shotdd like to hsuve Davis here," replied Tiverton, languidy; " seeing how you hiavB bullied him only satisfies me how little chance JshaU have. with yuu." Not waiting to hear an answer to this speech, I arose and took my 620 THE DOBD FAMIIT ABBOAD. hat, and pressing Belton's tand cordially, as I asked him to dinner for that- day, I hurried out of the room. Not, however, without his having time to whisper to me : " That affair is all arranged — ^have no further uneasiness on the subject." I was in the street in the midst of the moving, bustling population, with all the life, din, and turmoil of a great city around me, and yet I stood confounded and overwhelmed by what I had just witnessed. " And this," said I at last, " is the waythe busiuess of the world goes on — robbery, cheating, intimidation, and overreaching are the polite- nesses men reciprocate with each other !" Ah, Tom, with what scanty justice we regard our poor hard-working, half-starved, and ragged people, when men of rank, station, and refinement are such culprits as this ! Nor could I help confessing that if I had passed my life at home, in my_ own country, such an instance as I had just seen had in all likelihood never occurred to me. The truth is, that there is a simplicity in the life of poor Countries, that almost excludes such a craft as that of a swindler. Society must be a complex and intricate machinery where they are to thrive. There must be all the thousand requirements that are begotten of a pampered and luxurious civilisation, and all the faults and frailties that grow out of these. Tour well-bred scoundrel trades upon the follies,, the weak- nesses, the foibles, rather than the vices of the world, and his richest harvest lies amongst those who have ambitions above their station, and pretensions unsuited to their property — ia one word,- to the " Dodds of this world, whether they issue from Tipperary or York- shire, whether their tongue betray the Celt or the Saxon !" I grew very moral on this theme as I walked along, and actually found myself at my own door before I knew where I was. I disco- vered that Morris and his Mother had been visiting Mrs. D. in my absence, and that the interview had passed off satisfactorily Gary's bright and cheery looks sufficiently assured me. Perhaps she was " not i' the vein," or perhaps she was awed by the presence of real wealth and fortune, but I was glad to find that Mrs. D. scarcely more than alluded to the splendours of Dodsborough ; nor did she bring in the M'Carthys more than four times during their stay. This is encouraging, Tom ; and who knows but in time we may be able to " lay this family," and live without the terrors of their resurrection ! The Morrises are to dine with us, and I only trust that we shall not give them a " taste of our quality" in high living, for I have just caught sight of a fellow with a white cap going into Mrs. D.'s dress- ing-room, and the preparations are evidently considerable. Here's THE DODD FAMILY ABBOAO. 621 Mary Anne saying she has something of consequiBnce to impart to me, and so, for the present, farewell. The murder is out, Tom, and aU the mystery of Morris's' missing letter made clear. Mrs. D. received it during my iUness at Genoa, and finding it to be a proposal of marriage to Gary, took it upon her to write an iadignant refusal. • Mary Anne has just confessed the whole to me iu strict secresy, frankly owning that she herself was the great culprit on the occasion, and that the terms, of the reply were actually dictated by her. She said that her present avowal was made less in reparation for her misconduct — which she owned to be inex- cusable — ^than as an obligation she felt under to requite the admi- rable behaviour of Morris, who, by this time, must have surmised what had occurred, and whose gentlemanlike feeling recoiled from viadicating himself at the cost of family disunion and exposure. I tell you frankly, Tom, that Mary Anne's own candour, the honest, straightforward way in which she told me the whole incident, amply repays me for all the annoyance it occasioned. Her conduct now assures me that, notwithstanding all the corrupting influences of our life abroad, the girl's generous nature has stiU. sxirvived, and may yet, with good care, be traiued up to high deservings. Of course she enjoined me to secresy; but even had she not done so, I'd have respected her confidence. I am scarcely less pleased with Morris, whose delicacy is no bad guarantee for the future ; so that for once, at least, my dear Tom, you find me in good humour with all the world, nor is it my own fault if I be not oftener so ! Tou may smile, Tom, at my self-flattery ; but I repeat it. All my philosophy of life has been to submit with a good grace, and make the best of everything — to think as weU of everybody as they would permit me to do ; and when, as will happen, events went cross-grain, and aU fell out "wrong," I was quite ready to "forget my own griefs and be happy withyow." And now to dinner, Tom, where I mean to drink your health ! It is all settled ; though I have no doubt, after so many " false starts," you'U. stiU expect to hear a contradiction to this in my next letter; but you may believe me this time, Tom. Gary is to be married on Saturday ; and that you may have stronger confidence in my words, I beg to assure you that I have not bestowed on her, as her marriage portion, either imaginary Estates or mock Domains. She is neither to be thought an Irish Princess, "en retraite," nor to be the proud possessor of the " M'Garthy diamonds." In a word, Tom, we have contrived, by some good luck, to conduct the whole of 622 TKD BODB rAMUT AKIIlOjaJv this negotiation mi&emt involving oursalves in a laibpitttih. of lies, and the consequence has been a very ■widenspread happiness and contentment. Morris improTea evEsy bonr on nearer acquaintance; ia»d eten Mrs. D. a(^nowiedgea, that vrhea "his shynaBs ruibs off, ie'E be downright lagireeable aod amuaimg." JSTow, that same shyness iai very little more than the constitutional cdldbess of kis oetmiiry, more palpable when comtrasifced with the over- warmth, of ows. Jjs never does rub 0:^ Tom, whieh imffstrtnnately oixr eordialii^ oecasion^y does; and hence the praise bestowed on the constancy of one coun- try, and the censure on the changeability of the othec. Biit Has im no time for such diBsertations, nor is my head in a condition, to follow thiem out. The house is beset with Milliners, Jewellers, and oikee seduction- ists of, the same type ; aad Mrs. D.'s voice is loiad in the drawing? room on the ..merits of Brussds lace and tiiie beeomimgness of rubies. Even Caiy appears to Mve yielded somewhat to thfl temptation of these vanities, and giyes a passing glance at herself in the glass without any very maiied disapproval. James is in ecstasies vrith Morris, who has confided all his horse arrangements to his e^edal care ; and he sits in solemn conclave every morning with ialf a dozen stunted, knock-kneed bipeds, in earnest diaicussion of thorougli-bredB, weight-carriers, and fencers, and talks Bell's lif^ half the day after- wards. But, above all, Mary Anne has pleased me throughout the whole transaetion. Not a shadow of jealousy, not the feintest «ok»u;iag of any unworthy rivalry has interfered ' with her sisterly affection, and her whole heart seems devoted to Gary's happiness. Handsome as she always was, the impulse of a high motive has elevated the cha- racter of her beauty, and rendered her perfectly loydy. So Belton would seem to -tiiink also, if I were only to pronounce from the mere expression of his face as he looks at her. I mnst close this at once ; there's no use in my trying to jomxulise any longer, for events follow too faet for recording ; besides, Tom, in the midst of all my happiniess there comes a dash of sadness across me that I am so soon to part with one so dear to me ! TOk© fest branch that drops from liie tree tells the story of the decay at the trunk ; and so it is as the chairs around your hearth become tenant- less, you are led to think of the dark winter of old Age, the longnigh^ before the longer journey! This is aE selfishness, mayhap, and so no toore of it. Om Safcmnday the wedding, Tom \ 13ie Morrises -start for THE DODD TAMILT ABEOAD. 623 Eome and the Dodids foi Ireland. Af, my old ftiend, once more we shall meet, and, if I inow myself, not to part again, till our pass- ports are laade out for a better place. And now, inj dear ftiead, for the last time on foreign ground, I am, yours ever affeetionately, Kenity James JDodd. Tell Mrs. Gallagher to have fires in all the rooms, and to flee tihat NeEigan has a look to the roof where the rain used to come in. We must try and mate the old house comfortable, and if we cannot have the blue sky without, we'll at least endeavour to secure the means of an Irish wekome within doors. I suppose it must be a part of that perverflity that pertains to human nature in everything, but now that I have determined on going home again, I fancy I can detect a hundred advantages to be derived from foreign travel and foreign residence. Tou will, of course, meet me by saying, what are your own experienfies, Kenny Dodd ? Do they serve to confirm this impression ? Have you the evidences of such within the narrow circle of your own family ? No, Tom, I must freely own I have not. But I am perhaps able to say why it has been so, and even that same is something. Tou can scarcely take up a number of the Times without read- ing of some newly-arrived provincial in London being " done" by sharpers, through the devices of a very stale piece of roguery ; his appearance, his dress, and his general air being the signs which have proclaimed him a fit subject for deception. So it is abroad ; a certain class of travellers, the "Dodds" for instance, ramble about Switzer- land and the Ehine country, J ohn Murray in hand, speaking unintel- ligible Erench, and poking their noses everywhere. So long as they are migratory, they form the prey of innkeepers and the harvest of Laquais de Place ; but when they settle and domesticate, they become the mark for ridicule from some, and for robbery from others. If they be wealthy, much is conceded to them for their money — that is, their house will be frequented, their dinners eaten, their balls danced at; but as to any admission into " the society" of the place, they have no chance of it. Some Lord George of their acquaintance, cut by his equals, and shunned by his own set, vrill undertake to pro- vide them guests ; and so far as their own hospitalities extend, they will be " in the world," but not one jot further. The illustrious com- pany that honours your soiree, amuses itself with racy stories of your bad Erench, or flippant descriptions of your wife's " toilette ;" nor is it enough that they ridicule these, but they wUl even make laughing 624 THE DODD TAMILT ABEOAB. matter of your homely notions of right and wrong, and scoff at what you know and feel to be the very best things in your nature. Tour " noble friend," or somebody else's "noble frifend," has said in public that you' are "nobody;" and every Marquis in his garret, and every Count with half the income of your Cook, despises as he dines with you. And you deserve it, too ; richly deserve it, I say. Had you come on the Continent to be abroad what you were well contented to be at home — ^had you abstained from the mockery of a class you never belonged to — had you settled down amidst those your equals in rank, and often much more than your equals in knowledge and acquirement — ^your journey would not ^ have been a series of dis- appointments. Tou would have seen much to delight and interest, and much to improve you. Tou would have educated your minds while richly enjoying yourselves ; and while forming pleasant inti- macies, and even friendships, widened the sphere of your sympathies, with ' maiikind, and assuredly have escaped no small share of the misfortunes and mishaps that befel the " Dodd PamUy Abroad." THE END. c. WHrrrao, BKAuroRi hodse, strahd. "„