35mj T8foS4 \ CORNELL UNIVERSITY LIBRARY THE ANNA S. GURLEY MEMORIAL BOOK FUND FOR THE PURCHASE OF BOOKS IN THE FIELD OF THE DRAMA THE GIFT OP William F. E. Gurley CLASS OF 1877 1935 Cornell University Library PS 3537.T86S4 1922 Seventh heavenia play in three acts. 3 1924 021 706 035 The original of tliis book is in tlie Cornell University Library. There are no known copyright restrictions in the United States on the use of the text. http://www.archive.org/details/cu31924021706035 SEVENTH HEAVEN BY AUSTIN STRONG est 45th St., New York MRS. PARTRIDGE PRESENTS Comeay in 3 acts. By Maary Kennedy and Enth Haw- thorne. 6 males, 6 females. Modern costumes. 2 interiors. Plays 2% hours. The cbarscteTB, scenes and sitniktions bt6 thoroagtilr tip-to- date in this altogetlieT, delightful American comedy. The heroina iB a woman of tremensfilitlli^? energy, who manages a business — as rile manages ev&j:ythin'^-4-with great Baccees, and at home pre- sides over the idestinies of a growing son and daughter: ; Her struggle tO'giVs' the children the opportunities she herself had missed, and the children's ultimate revolt against her well-meant management-^that is the basis of/ the plot. Th'e son who is casfi for the part of artist and the daughter who is to go on the stags offer numerous opportunities for the development of the comio possibilities in the theme. The play is one of the most delightful, yet thonght-proTOki];ig American comedies of recent years, and is warmly recommended to all smateor sroaps. (Boyalty on application.) Price, 75 Oents. IN THE NEXT ROOM Melodrama in 3 acts. By fJIeanor Bobson and Harriet !Ford. 8 males, 3 females. 2 interioist Modem costumes. Plays 2% hours. , "Philip Tsntine lias bought a rare copy of an original Boslei cabinet and ordered it shipped tt> his New Toric home from Paris. ■When it arrives it is found tp be the original itself, the pos- session of which is desired by many strange people. Before tha mystery concerned with the cabinet's shipment can be eleareS 1^, two persons meet iny sterious death ' fooling with it and tha happiness of many otherwise happy actors is threatened^' (Burns Uantle). A first-rate mystery play, composing all the elements of suspense, curiosity, comedy and drama. "In the Next Eoom" » quiteleaSjr to stage. It can be nnreservedly recommended to high a«ht)9U and eoUegeg, (Boyalty, twenty-five dollars.) ttite, 75 Cents, umrEii raBiraa, ss wa«t letii stiest, xew Toric ouy Vnr sod BxpUolt Sesei^pttro Obtslogna Hailed Ftm on Beassst SEVENTH HEAVEN A PLAY IN THREE ACTS BY AUSTIN STRONG Duly copyrighted, 1922, in the United States of America, the British Empire, including the Dominion of Canada, and by Inter- national Copyright, by Austin Strong and John Golden, AH Sights Keserved ' CAUTION: Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that "SEVENTH HEAVEN," being fully protected under the copy- right laws of the United States of America, the British Empire, including the Dominion of Canada, and all other countries of the Copyright Union, is subject to royalty, and anyone present- ing the play without the consent of the owners or their author- ized agents will be liable to the penalties by law provided. The amateur acting rights are reserved for the present in all cities and towns where there are stock companies. Royalty will be quoted for those cities and towns where it may be presented by amateurs on application to Samuel French, 25 West 45th Street, New York, N. Y. Application for the professional acting rights must be made to John Golden, Hudson Theatre Bldg., 139 West 44th Street, New York, N. Y. New York SAMUEL FRENCH Publishes 25 West 45th Stbeet London SAMUEL FRENCH, Ltd. 26 Southampton Street STRAND SEVEN'TH HEAVEN All Rights Reserved Especial notice should be taken that the possession of this book without a valid contract for production first having been obtained from the publisher, confers no right or license to professionals or amateurs to produce the play publicly or in private for gain or charity. In its present form this play is dedicated to the reading public only, and no performance, representation, production, recitation by amateurs, public reading or radio broadcasting may be given except by special arrangement with Samuel French, 25 West 45th Street, New York. This play may be presented by amateurs upon payment of a royalty of Twenty-Five Dollars for each performance, payable to Samuel French, 25 West 45th Street, New York, one week before the date when the play is given. Whenever the play is produced the following notice must appear on all programs, printing and advertising for the play: "Produced by special arrangement with Samuel French of New York." Attention is called to the penalty provided by law for any infringement of the author's rights, as follows: "Section 4966: — Any person publicly performing or rep- resenting any dramatic or musical composition for which copyright has been obtained, without the consent of the proprietor of said dramatic or musical composition, or his heirs and assigns, shall be liable for damages thereof, such damages, in all cases to be assessed at such sum, not less than one hundred dollars for the first and fifty dollars for every subsequent performance, as to the court shall appear to be just. If the unlawful performance and representation be_ wilful and _ for profit, such person or persons shallbe guilty of a misdemeanor, and upon conviction shall be im- prisoned for a period not exceeding one year." — U. S. Revised Statutes: Title 60, Chap. 3. JOHN GOLDEN presents SEVENTH HEAVEN A Play by Austin Strong Produced at The Booth Theatre New York City, on October 30, 1922 THE CAST OF CHARACTERS BouL Hubert Druce The Rat Fred Holloway Arlette Beatrice Noyes Maximillian Gobin Alfred Kappeler Nana Marion Kerby Recan Bernard Thornton Diane Helen Menken Brissac Frank Morgan Blonde Richard Carlyle Pere Chevillon William Post Sergeant of Police John Clements Uncle Georges Harry Forsman Aunt Valentine Isabel West Chico George Gaul Lamplighter Lionel Joseph Act I : A street in Paris. Act II : "Heaven." Three days later. Act III : Four years later. To Mother John SEVENTH HEAVEN ACT I The curtain rises, disclosing a street in the Paris slums. It is a "cul de sac" known as "The Hole in the Sock." At the right of stage, under the shadow of a ragged awning, is the entrance to the "Mouth," a disreputable wine shop, which leans tipsily over a strip of sidewalk on which is an iron lamp post. Across the way is a drab stone house with all the windows closed. Stone steps, guarded by an iron rail, lead into this house, and at the foot and side of the stairs is an old ash barrel filled with ashes. Between these two sinners there rises at rear the massive wall and buttresses of the "Church of Heavenly Angels." Its dust-blurred windows are heavily barred, as though to keep all good- ness within. A round sewer trap is in the gutter centre. There is a little lane at upper right lead- ing off around to the front of the church. In the gutter lies an empty wine cask. We hang between Heaven and Hell with des- truction to the right and left of us. A night-hawk with a burnt-brick face is cranking the engine of a very dilapidated- looking taxicab. He is known as Boul and plies his trade at night scuttling about in his wicked old chariot bearing dubious freight to dark and questionable places. He still affects 5 6 SEVENTH HEAVEN the red waistcoat, coat of many capes, and the white painted hat of the cocher. As the curtain rises, Boul cranks machine. Sergeant enters u.r., leans over watching him; after two futile efforts at cranking, Boul stands back disgusted, when, the Sergeant sympatheti- cally asks. Sergeant. Can't you start it? BoxJL. Yes. I'm just doing this for exercise! (Sergeant gives him a look of disgust and exits l. Boul cranks again; no result. Again he cranks, when the engine whirrs. Quickly he runs to steering wheel when the engine stops with a loud bang; he looks into the hood and sparks fly into his face.) (Then out of the Inn comes the Sewer Rat, a small, long-nosed creature with the remnant of a heard and a quick, beady eye. He carries a canvas bundle. Enters quickly and opens the sewer trap, about to disappear when out of the Inn runs Arlette — a young girl in short skirts and pigtail — wearing a blue apron. She catches the Rat and pulls him up by his collar.) Arlette. You thief, you ! I saw you ! Rat. (Whining) But I paid for my drink ! Let go my neck ! Arlette. (Shaking finger in his face) You stole a bottle of wine from the counter — (Slaps his face) — when you thought my back was turned — I saw you in the mirror. (Slap.) Give it to me or I'll call the Sergeant of Police. Rat. I haven't got your bottle ! Call the police if you want to ! Arlette. (Shouting) Police! Rat. (Jumping to his feet and going left of her) SEVENTH HEAVEN 7 My God — s-s-sch ! You don't have to take me seri- ously ! Arlette. Pol / BouL. (Coming up behind her — putting a large hand over her mouth) Hush, my dear, don't stir up the enemy ! Hand it over — hand it over to the lady. Sewer Rat! (Rat produces a large bottle of wine from among his rags.) There's your bottle, sweet child! Aklette. (Grabbing it and going between them, turns to BouL^ You old thief, you! (Starts tow- ard Inn; then turns.) As for you, Sewer Rat, don't you ever come in here again or I'll have my father open a bottle on your head! (She exits into Inn.) BouL. Huh! (A pause. Rat, with a glance about, comes stealth- ily to BouL, opens the palm of a dirty hand and shows a glittering brooch.) Rat. Look ! BouL. It isn't real ! Rat. (Handing him the brooch) It should bring five francs. BouL. (Pocketing it) You'll be lucky if I get two! Rat. There's no profit in that. BouL. It's all profit for you, Sewer Rat. What have you got there? Rat. Chico's supper. BouL. Oh! So we're to dine up here, are we? Good! Well, go down in your hole and tell your master Chico, not to keep me waiting as he did yes- terday. It's close on six now. (Goes up to cab and throws food in taxi.) I'll give him till the quarter hour. Rat. I'll come and eat with you ? BouL. (Growling) You're not invited. 8 SEVENTH HEAVEN Rat. (Looking carefully off-stage at the Inn and turning his back to it, gently produces another bot- tle from his rags) Supposing — supposing I can bring this ? BouL. Look out ! (Half hiding it under his coat.) Pretty work ! Pretty work ! (Sewer Rat goes into trap. With a glance at the Inn, Boul smiles as he examines the label, whistles and kisses the bottle ten- derly.) For this, my friend, you shall be guest of honor ! (Puts the bottle in the cab.) (Monsieur Boussonet Gobin has entered, from l., pulling after him his hose, an affair of jointed pipes on little wheels. He wears a linen blouse, leather apron and peaked hat. He has the repu- tation of having the largest and most beautiful mustachios in this quarter. He lays down his hose in the gutter, beside the stone stairway, and walks without haste toward the Inn.) Rat. I'll tell Chico to hurry. (He quickly exits down the hole.) Boul. Good evening, Maximilian Gobin ! (Gobin, with his nose in the air, fails to notice him and goes into the cafe as Nana, entering un- steadily from the Inn, bumps into Gobin. Gobin brushes his blouse, disgusted with the contact; Nana is dressed in dark clothes, a black crocheted shawl, feet shod in black felt slippers; hair beautifully dressed. She has a Spanish look. A superb black cat.) Nana. Look where you're going ! Gobin. (Disgusted) Ah-ah! (Exits.) (Nana crosses stage; as she passes Boul he speaks.) SEVENTH HEAVEN 9 BouL. (Following her left) Hey, Nana! Nana. Well? BouL. (Showing brooch) What can you bring me for that? Nana. (Taking it) Half of what I get. BouL. And do it yourself. Don't send the young one Nana. I'll do it my way or not at all. BouL. Very well — very well. But be careful — the police have been very active here lately. (Cross- ing to cab.) Nana. (Crosses left to steps) Police ! I'm not afraid of the police! (She has crossed to steps to the house; goes up them as Gobin enters from the Cafe, wiping his mustachios. Indicating Gobin) Let them take that swine to their slaughter house! (She exits into house left.) BouL. (Laughingly, to GoBiNJ She means you — Maximilian Gobin! Gobin. (Picking up hose; starts v.u) Bah ! If I had my way I'd turn my hose on all you street scum! (Paul Recan enters from, u.l., the private secre- tary to Brissac, a very modern, beautifully dressed youth with a hard face. Gobin exits, dragging his hose off. Boul gives a sigh of re- lief. The Angelus bell booms high above in the church.) Boul. (Removing his hat, prays aloud with en- thusiasm) "Angeles Domini Muntiavit — ave Maria," etc., etc. (Recan looks about, walks up left of Boul and smiles.) Recan. Are you religious ? Boul. Very, young man, very. Taxi? (Recan has crossed to right to the sidewalk.) Recan. No, thanks. lo SEVENTH HEAVEN BouL. It's just as well. I cannot get it started anyway. Recan. (Turning) What's your name ? BouL. Boul. Recan. Boul? Boul. (With a flourish) Boul — short for Boule- vard. Recan. Is that your cab ? Boul. It is — ^more's the pity. Recan. How long have you had it? Boul. Only two days, and I don't understand her. Recan. No — I mean, how long have you had it stationed here ? Boul. Since early morning. Recan. That's against the rules. Boul. (Who has been eyeing him suspiciously) You're not the police ! Recan. Never mind who I am — you must keep moving. Boul. (With a shrug) I know that. But Eloise doesn't. Recan. Eloise ? Boul. I named it after my old horse, Eloise. (Pointing to horseshoe over door.) That was her shoe. They are very much alike. Eloise was stub- born, but I mastered her before she died. (Turns crank and there is a noise.) This new Eloise — this thing of tin and grease — I shall conquer her yet! (Arlette enters and stands in door of Inn.) Recan. Well, get along as soon as you can. Arlette. (Coming forward a little) Thank you ! My father says that thing is a public nuisance. Boul. (Going u.r. to his taxi cmd petting it. Grumblingly) You know, I think Eloise is sick! Recan. (Half -smiling) Sick, eh? SEVENTH HEAVEN ii Eloise. Bang ! ! BouL. (Kicks her mudguard) Shut up, idiot! (Crosses up to Aelette "with pail.) May I borrow some water for Eloise ? Arlette. If it will get you away from here sooner — ^yes ! (Exit Boul info wine shop.) Recan. (To Arlette, in a low voice) Has the Colonel been here? Arlette. Is he coming again today? Recan. (Nodding) Yes — with another gentle- man — and mind, keep your mouth shut ! (Exits into wine shop.) Arlette. (Following him off) Of course, of course. (Exits talking.) Nana^s Voice. (Off-stage) Get out ! (A terrified girl is hurled backwards out of the house left and against the iron railing at head of the stairway.) Diane. (In real terror) Nana — please — Nana — please — please (Nana enters and fairly towers above her; she grasps Diane by the throat with her left hand; speaks in husky voice.) Nana. Take it back, Diane, or I'll split your head open ! Take it back, I tell you — take it back ! Diane. I do — I do ! Nana. (In triumph, throws whip from under her shawl backwards into the house) Ha ! Now take this to Villeau's and bring me absinthe for it ! Diane. No — no! (Then grasping the girl by the shoulders she jerks her forward, bringing their faces close together. In a quiet voice, shaking with pas- sion.) "NT A XT A "V/-*ii'lt Ar\ nc T foil trcMi I 12 SEVENTH HEAVEN Diane. You're killing me! (She totters down steps and sits, almost falling in a heap.) (BouL enters with a pail of water,, and starts filling radiator. Aelette appears in the doorway of the cafe, attracted by the noise of the quarrel.) Nana. Diane ! Get up ! (Diane does not move.) Do you want me to come down to you then? (A pause — no movement.) Diane! Diane. No — ^no — Nana, I'll go ! (She half rises. Nana goes into the house. Arlette crosses to Diane sympathetically.) Arlette. Why don't you fight her back ? Diane. I can't. Arlette. I wish she'd try that whip on me once. I'd push it down her throat ! Diane. (Gets to her feet) Oh, it's because I'm afraid of her. Arlette. (Helping her up) If she wasn't your sister, I'd tell the police ! Boul. (Jumping over keg and coming down to Arlettej Police! And get us all into trouble? You have horrible ideas — you! Listen, Diane, I wouldn't try to cross Nana when she's like this. When she's been drinking. Papa Boul's your friend. (He goes to her.) Arlette. (Crossing right) Friend ! (Recan enters from r. and watches Diane. As Diane starts u.r. Boul returns to front of taxi.) Recan. (Stopping Arlette at door, hut watching Diane cross) Arlette, I may want some informa- tion from you about that girl ! Arlette. Oh, you may? Well, you won't get it. (Exits into cafe.) SEVENTH HEAVEN 13 Recan. I won't, eh? I'll have to find out for my- self then. (BouL exits into cafe e., closing door. Recan exits off-stage r. after Diane as if following her.) (Enter Brissac and M. Blonde accompanied by two gendarmes. Brissac is a distinguished mmi in his early forties, humorovis, relaxed, charming. He is immaculately dressed. Blonde, in sharp contrast, is an elderly country avocat, in an ill- fitting frock coat; face is lean and his shrewd eyes peer out from under shaggy eyebrows.) Brissac. (As they enter, turning to gendarmes) I don't think we'll need you any longer. Thank you very much. First Gendarme. You're quite sure, Colonel? Brissac. Quite. (Gendarmes salute and exit left.) Blonde. What place is this ? Brissac. This, my friend, is a cul-de-sac. Blonde. A what? Brissac. No one passes through here. We are, as it were, in the bottom of a bag. (Rat enters from the trap, blinks at both of them and runs off left.) Blonde. Good Heavens, what's that? Brissac. That, my friend, is a Sewer Rat — even in this quarter of Paris considered a low form of ani- mal life ! Blonde. (Wiping his face with a large handker- chief) Are we safe here, Colonel? Brissac. We are not ! This place — (Indicating rnfp imth his rane ) — is fhe famniis "Halp in tVip 14 SEVENTH HEAVEN Brissac. Wait! Here is where the sisters live! (Recan enters swiftly, approaching BrissacJ Blonde. What ? Brissac. (Pointing to left with cane) They have a room in that house ! Recan. (Coming down left of De Brissac and removing hat) Colonell Brissac. Ah, Paul ! Paul, this is M. Felix Blonde, the lawyer for the uncle of the girls you have been watching. Blonde, let me present Recan, my brilliant and efficient secretary. You will have to thank him for finding the girls. Blonde. (Pompously crossing to and shaking Recan's hand) I can never express my gratitude, young man. (Blonde goes l. of Recan.J Brissac. Were you able to get the girls' records from the Police Department ? Recan. (Producing them from brief case) They are here. Brissac. (Taking them) Are the young women in the house now ? Recan. The elder sister. Nana, is in the house. She's just sent the younger one out. Brissac. (Furious) She's gone! You let her go? Recan. No, my Colonel. She's being watched. She's in a shop at the end of the lane. Shall I have her brought to you? Brissac. Er — not yet. I'll talk to the older sister first. Recan. (Going right towards steps) Yes, sir. This way, Colonel. Brissac. (Starts, stops, looks at the house in dis- gust) No — no, I think not. Bring her out! (Exit Recan into the house. Brissac returns to sidewalk right.) SEVENTH HEAVEN 15 Blonde. It's a fine thing you're doing, Brissac — leaving your important affairs to help me find these girls. I can never thank you Brissac. (Looking over the records) It's noth- ing, old friend. Blonde. You call it nothing ? To put your whole staff at my disposal ! In all fairness I should pay you the fee I am to receive for bringing these girls back to their uncle ! Brissac. I am a politician — God help me — and we hold our positions by giving and receiving favors. Blonde. I see! Brissac. (Tapping papers) These records show up your young ladies in rather an unpleasant light. Blonde. (Dismayed) They've been bad? Brissac One of them has, I'm sure. Blonde. That's dreadful! Brissac. Why ? Blonde. (A few steps R.) I'm wondering what my client — their uncle — will say — how he will take this news. Brissac. What kind of a man is the uncle? Blonde. Religious. Brissac. That's bad. Protestant? Blonde. (Nods) Calvinist ! Brissac. (Frowning) Good God ! Blonde. Of the old, hard, uncompromising kind ! Brissac. (With a grimace) I know! Uncle must never know the facts about these girls. Blonde. But we can't do that Brissac. We will do it ! Look ! (Enter Nana from house, followed by Recan.j Blonde. (In a low tone, to De Brissac) Good Heavens, she's ill ! Brissac. No — absinthe ! i6 SEVENTH HEAVEN Recan. (To Nana, giving her rough push) This way, you! (Blonde crosses Brissac left.) Nana. What do yoa want with me ? Recan. (Angrily) This gentleman wishes to speak with you, and you'd better keep a decent tongue in your head. Brissac. It's all right, Paul. Just see that we are not disturbed. (Recan retires u.c. and stands up- stage on guard.) Nana. (Coming to bottom of steps) What do you want? (Blonde crosses back and goes h.'l.) Brissac. (Crossing to her; politely) A little in- formation, that's all. Will you please tell us your name? Nana. (After a pause) Arlette du Fois. Blonde. (Stepping forward) Oh, no, it isn't. Nana. (Retreating a step) Monsieur Blonde! Blonde. Ah — ^you remember me, eh? Now tell this gentleman your name ! Nana. Nana Vulmir. Blonde. Good ! Nana. What — what do you want? Blonde. I have been sent here to help you. This gentleman found you for me ! Nana. He is the police? (Starts upstage; Re- can makes a movement down-stage to stop her.) Brissac. Wait — wait — ^you have nothing to fear. Nana. I've done nothing wrong. Brissac. I'm very glad to hear it. (Consults rec- ords.) Why did you two girls run away from your Uncle and Aunt? Nana. They were very poor — ^treated us like ser- vants — made us go to church four times a day. You wouldn't like that yourself, would you? Brissac. (With a smile) No, I can sympathize with that ! Nana. We were willing to go back later, when SEVENTH HEAVEN 17 we found how hard it was, but they'd left the coun- try. Brissac. Your Uncle Georges became a trader in the South Seas and has made a fortune in the pearl industry. Nana. (Rises and crosses to him) A fortune! You mean Uncle Georges Vulmir is rich ! Brissac. So our story does interest you ? Nana. (Crossing to right) Uncle Georges is rich — and wants us ? Blonde. Yes. Brissac. (Smilingly) And so, Nana, your troubles are over. (Nana sinks slowly on barrel in the gutter. Regan stays upstage.) Congratulations — and now that I have brought you together, my part is done. Monsieur Blonde will take charge of you. (Crosses up to Recan.J Here, Paul. (Hands him papers which Recan returns to portfolio.) Blonde. (Going to Brissac and just above him left) Again I must thank you. Brissac. Nonsense. I have thoroughly enjoyed the experience. Quite a romance, eh. Nana? Out of this into a home of wealth ! Nana. (Dazed) Wealth ! Brissac. (Taking card and pencil from pocket) Monsieur Blonde will take you to their hotel tonight. (To Blonde^ Hotel St. Roc — isn't it? (Then turn- ing to Nana.J Rue Comartin. (Writes address on card.) Blonde. Better still — ^they're coming here. Brissac. (Turning back to him abruptly) What's that you say? Blonde. Why, I telegraphed Vulmir when I re- ceived your note to meet us here at six — in front of this sarristv donr. i8 SEVENTH HEAVEN one way. Hurry, Blonde. (Takes his arm and starts him off.) Blonde. (Starts off left and then hesitates) I don't understand Brissac. (Going to him) You surely don't want your religious client to find her in that condition — in this environment Blonde. (Vagviely comprehending) I see- Brissac. (Looking at her) This young woman may have made her mistakes, but I prefer her to your Calvinist uncle and aunt. Take the old people back to their hotel. The girls will follow. Blonde. Yes. Brissac. I think we can trust Nana to invent a good story to tell your uncle, can't we, Nana? Nana. (Eagerly, at the same time awed) Oh, yes. Blonde. (Going u.l.^ I'll go and stop them. (He exits left.) Brissac. Paul, you go and bring the young one here. (Recan exits u.R.j Hotel St. Roc — Rue Comartin. (Hands Nana the card.) There, go pack your things at once and take your sister there as fast as you can. (Nana, rising, goes quickly tow- ard the house, and up steps.) Do you think you can pull yourself together — give up absinthe? Nana. (With an eager laugh) Huh-uh! Yes, sir — ^yes, sir. (Exits into house left.) Brissac. (Going upstage) I wonder ! Voices. (Heard off-stage) Police! There he goes ! Catch him ! Stop thief ! (Brissac gives a shrug as he places a cigarette in his long amber holder and goes upstage to the sac- risty door, watching Boul enter from the wine shop. In dashes The Sewer Rat, from u.l., holding a fat silver watch and chain, which he hands to Boul, who, with one engulfing gesture, SEVENTH HEAVEN 19 piishes the Rat into the taxicab, shuts the door and pockets the watch. Voices grow louder. BouL industriously rubs' his taxi with a cloth. Sergeant of Police dashes on, followed by a Priest, a human little man with an honest face. His spectacles hang from one of his ears. He is clinging to the Sergeant's coat tails.) Sergeant. Let me go — I can catch the thief and arrest him ! Pere Chevillon. (Going front of him, and push- ing him back. They are just left of cab) But I don't want him arrested ! Sergeant. But he stole your watch, good Father. Pere Chevillon. It was my joke ! Brissac. (Coming down right of ChevillonJ You call it a joke to be robbed of your watch? Chevillon. But the watch has no value — it is made of tin ! Sergeant. Tin ! Brissac. (Stepping forward with an interested smile) Tin ! BouL. Tin ! (Scratching his head ruefully, he exits into Inn 's..) Chevillon. (To Brissac^ Yes. With a tin watch as my bait, I find out who the thieves are, and when I've found them, I convert and baptize the ras- cals — is it not a good joke on them ? You see, I buy them by the dozen at the Bon Marche. (Holds up three fat watches and chains.) Sergeant. (Laughing, as he goes off u.L.j Ha, ha! Good day. Father. The man who has it now must feel a fine fool ! (He exits.) Brissac. (Stepping forward) Bravo! You are a priest after my own heart ! Here ! (Opening door of taxi, and reaching in, he pulls the Rat out by the ear and swings him around between them.) I pick the snail out of his shell for you — here's your con- 20 SEVENTH HEAVEN vert ! I would advise baptism on the spot — he needs a bath. (Closes cab door and dusts fingers.) Pere Chevillon. (Holding his sides) Ha, ha! La, la! What a prize (They both laugh.) Brissac. Can you make a saint of that? Pere Chevillon. (With a shrug) Not perhaps in a moment, but now that we know him and his weakness, we will help him in good time. What's your name, my poor child ? Rat. Pierre. Pere Chevillon. Where do you work ? Rat. (Crossing to sewer) In the sewer with Chico. (Opens sewer trap.) Pere Chevillon. (Delighted) Chico! The very man I've been looking for — won't you bring him to me? Rat. (Frowning) Chico hates priests ! Brissac. Hates priests — why ? Rat. (Opens sewer) Because he is an atheist! Brissac. An atheist — evidently you are badly needed here, good Father. Pere Chevillon. Yet that atheist saved a priest's life. My nose in a book — an omnibus on top of me — when the ground opened and Chico rose like St. Aloysius and snatched me away from death ! Child, go and tell Chico his friend is the new priest here at the church of the Heavenly Angels and to come and see me, for I have something very important to give him. Do you understand? Rat. Yes, Monsieur. Pere Chevillon. (Pointing his finger menacing- ly at his nose) As for you — no more pocket-picking ! From now on you are going to be good — aren't you ? Rat. (Gets sewer open and is half into it) Oh, I hope so! Pere Chevillon. You can't escape me! I shall haunt you — I shall follow you to the uttermost depths of the sewer and shall purify you, if I have to SEVENTH HEAVEN 21 break every bone in your body! (He has followed the Rat with his threatening finger to the sewer while the Rat disappears, closing the trap after him.) Brissac. Wonderful, good Father — wonderful! Pere Chevillon. (Crossing r. to Brissac, tak- ing snuff) Alas, it isn't altogether the fault of these poor children that they are criminals. I know the medicine that would cure most of their ills. (Sits on barrel.) Brissac. And what is that, Father? Pere Chevillon. Work ! Honest work — up here in the sunshine — would save their souls quicker than all my sermons. Brissac. The Department needs men in the Street Cleaning Service. Pere Chevillon. Yes, but what hope have these men against official red tape? Brissac. Well — er — ^how would you like to have the authority to appoint such men as you think fit for positions in the Street Service ? Pere Chevillon. That would be a privilege in- deed. Brissac. (Handing him a card on which he has been writing) It is yours ! One good man like you is worth all our departments; you have merely to send them to this address. (Boul comes from Inn r. and starts toward cab.) Pere Chevillon. (Reads) Commissioner of Po- lice! (BouL, in horror, turns and hastily retreats into Inn.) 22 SEVENTH HEAVEN Peee Chevillon. (Rising and going to the sac- risty door) Thank you, my son. You have given me real happiness. I will have great fun dispensing this tonic. Ha, ha ! (Opens the small sacristy door, the light from within shining on him.) Brissac. (Following him up to door) Life is a joke to you, good Father? Pere Chevillon. The Bon Dieu has made the world a very amusing place. We all must be very droll to Him. He must laugh all the time. (Brissac removes his hat as Chevillon exits into church. Brissac stands for a moment smiling. Walks doTJtm right as Diane enters running down the little lane u.r. in terror, followed by Regan. She runs into Brissac, then turns to retreat, but Regan bars the way.) Regan. No, you don't. Brissac. Is this the younger sister, Paul? Regan. Yes, Colonel — I caught her trying to sell this. (Hands De Brissac the brooch.) Lxsok up — you! (He thrusts Diane forward sharply. She looks up into De Brissac's face.) Brissac. (After a pause — half to himself) Are you sure this is the young woman, Paul ? Why, she's beautiful. Regan. Yes, Colonel, this is Diane Vulmir — alias Denise du Fois. (De Brissac gives him a significant nod and Regan retires and stands on guard u.c.^ Brissac. (Regarding her thoughtfully for some moments, asks in low voice) Are you a thief? Diane. No. Brissac. Then where did you get this ? (Diane hangs her head.) Stop trembling — don't be afraid. Diane. (In terror) Are you the police ? Brissac. (Shakes his head) I want to be your SEVENTH HEAVEN 23 friend — don't you know it's just as wrong to sell a stolen thing as to steal it? Diane. Yes. Brissac. Then this is stolen? (Diane starts.) Is somebody making you do this? (Pause, she does not answer.) You needn't tell me anything you don't want to. Diane. (Trembling) Am I going to prison? (Recan saunters off u.L.j Brissac. (Takes her by the arms and seats her on barrel R. of c.) No. Now, if you had a chance to be a good girl, do you think you could stop this sort of thing? Diane. Yes — oh, oh, yes ! Brissac. Well, your chance has come. Diane. What ? Brissac. Once you lived for a while with an uncle and aunt. Diane. (Amazed) How do you know? Brissac. I should say that was the happiest time of your life — wasn't it? Diane. (Staring at him) Yes. Brissac. (Quietly) Well, they have not forgotten you. Diane. What do you say ? Brissac. They are here in Paris and they want you to come home with them. Diane. Here — they are here? Brissac. Yes, and your uncle is able to give you every luxury. He is rich ! Diane. Rich ! Brissac. So now you will have a good home care and love. It's like a fairy story, eh? (Opens his palm and shows brooch.) Diane. (Lookina at the brooch; hanas her head) 24 SEVENTH HEAVEN I've had a talk with your sister — she will tell you what to do and say. You must forget the past. Diane. We are to lie to them then ? Brissac. (Taking a step toward her) Why tell them unhappy truths ? Diane. (Rising) Ye-es. I suppose you're right. (Crosses l. to stairs.) Brissac. (Gaily) Come, come — cheer up! You're a very young thing and young things, given the right surroundings and large quantities of happi- ness, can make themselves over in no time. Diane. (Catching his mood and laughing eager- ly) You are kind and I thought you were a police- man! Brissac. Ha, ha! Instead of being a policeman I'm by way of being a fairy godmother. Come, it's delightful in a cynical world and warms my heart to be able to wave a magic wand. Quick — ^pack your bag and go to the palace before midnight is struck ! Diane. The palace ? Brissac. (Waving an imaginary wand) Hotel St. Roc, of course — Rue Comartin. They are wait- ing for you with smiling faces — good fortune and romance ! Diane. (Runs up two steps and then leaning over railing gives him her hand — laughing and eager) Thank you — and God bless you. (Enter Lamplighter, who lights a bracket lamp on the corner of the house, then crosses to lamp post right.) Brissac. My last word of advice — be happy, for when you smile you are beautiful — lovely ! Diane. (Happily) Good-bye! (Brissac kisses her hand; she turns to go; then pauses.) Brissac. (Laughing, yet moved) Au revoir — SEVENTH HEAVEN 25 sweet child! (Diane exits into house. Brissac turns gaily and sees the old Lamplighter lighting his lamp.) Hello, Master Liberty! Lamplighter. (Sourly) My name is Margo — August Margo ! Brissac. But you're lighting the world ! (Lamp- lighter grunts and exits u.R. As Brissac goes off, he murmurs half to himself) Let me see — who said "Let there be light" ? Oh, yes. (Exits left.) VuLMiR. (In angry tone — off-stage) But you're wrong — but you're wrong (It is Uncle Georges Vulmir, followed by Aunt Valentine. They enter through the lane u.R. Uncle Georges is a tall, solemn man with a missionary look. His face is browned by the tropics. Dressed in pongee, a brown varnished straw hat and carrying a whale- bone cane, he makes a strange figure in these sur- roundings. Aunt Valentine is dressed in a dark old-fashioned gown.) There, what did I tell you, Valentine? This lane opens out on the back of the church ! Valentine. (Always gentle) I think you're right, dear. VuLMiR. This must be the sacristy door. We were on the wrong side. I told you so. Valentine. (Always agreeing) Yes, dear, you're right. VuLMiR. (Looking about in disgust, as he mops his brow) Now, where's Blonde, the old fool ! Valentine. (Reads from a note) The note says to wait for him here. (Diane appears in doorway l. and stares at them.) VuLMiR. Wait! I won't wait another minute. (Crossing R. Looking about with disfavor.) Do you mean to tell me he found our nieces in this dread- ful place ? Valentine, I don't like it. 26 SEVENTH HEAVEN Valentine. Please, Georges, of course you're right. But don't let us judge them before we've seen them. (He crosses left and up.) VuLMiR. Come along. Diane. (Coming down the steps and toward them — then hesitating — irresolute) Aunt Valentine! Valentine. (Running and embracing her) It's Diane — the little one^ — the bebe, the dear one ! Diane. Uncle Georges ! I can't believe it's you ! Valentine. See, Georges, our bebe is a woman. (Valentine holds Diane in her arms while Vul- MiR holds one of her hands.) Diane. (Seeing ring on his hand) I remember that ring — it's made of tortoise shell. VuLMiR. (With a dry smile) You remember my ring — do you remember the prayers I taught you? Diane. Yes. (Still gripping his hand, she lays her head on Aunt Valentine's bosom.) How good you smell — of sandal wood — and fresh hnen — ^you smell of home. Valentine. (Tearfully) Ha! Ha! You hear, Georges, the little puppy! She smells her kind. (Bursts into tears.) VuLMiR. If you keep this up you'll flood the Seine ! Valentine. (Wiping her eyes and fadrly gulp- ing) Of course, of course you're right. I mustn't — (Nana enters left and runs down steps.) VuLMiR. Where do you live, Diane? Dlane. Why, we live Nana. Uncde Georges — Aunt Valentine — ^how good to see you again! (Kisses Uncle Georges and crosses to Valentine and embraces her.) VuLMiR. (Shocked) Is this Nana? Nana. But we were to meet you at your hotel. SEVENTH HEAVEN 27 Valentine. Nana, how pale you look ! (Crosses to her.) VuLMiR. (Frowning) You live in that house? Nana. (Volubly) Yes, Uncle Georges — ^and you've no idea how hard it has been to keep decent in a place like this. (Starts R. to Diane.J Valentine. (Quickly) We understand, my dear. Nana. (Going to Diane^ But we have kept de- cent, haven't we, Diane? (Diane is sitting on barrel R. There is a pause as Georges turns his eyes on Diane^ in cold scrutiny. Nana''s eyes are full of menace. Diane regards them for a moment impass- ively, then turns her head away. Hurriedly, continu- ing) Poor child, she knows how we have struggled. How I've had to fight every step of the way to keep flesh and bone together — and to protect Diane. It's well you came in time. (Going to her aunt.) Valentine. We had faith in you. We always knew the good blood of our family would keep you from harm. (Crossing to Diane.J Diane. But it hasn't. Nana. Diane ! VuLMiR. What's that? Diane. I said it hasn't kept us from harm. Nana. Don't listen to her — she always imagines she's done wrong. Diane. (Crossing to NanaJ Oh, what's the use — lies — lies — you'd only find out sooner or later. Nana. She doesn't mean that, Uncle Georges, she just imagines — — VuLMiR. (Crossing to Dianej Be quiet, you! I want the truth, Diane — the truth. Diane. We've not been good. We've not been fifood. 28 SEVENTH HEAVEN right, but (Going between Diane and Vul- MIR.) VuLMiR. (Crossing left and threatening NanaJ Curse this Sodom and Gomorrah. Curse both of you ! — Why, you ! Valentine. (Crossing to Vulmir^ Georges, please don't be angry. VuLMiR. Come away from here ! Nana. Please, Uncle Georges, let me explain — Valentine. Yes, Georges, let Nana explain. VuLMiR. (u.c.^ More lies — come away, I tdl you! Valentine. We can't leave them like this — they're poor. VuLMiR. (Taking from pocket and throwing a few hundred-franc notes on the ash-barrel) There, let them have that, then ! Get away from her ! Valentine. (Clinging to Diane^ But, Georges, they are Ernestine's children ! VuLMiR. Valentine, do you mean to disobey me? Valentine. (Going up to him) No, Georges, of course not, but VuLMiR. Then do as I command. Not another word from you, I tell you — not another word. Come away, Valentine, come away! (He pulls her away from Diane and drags her to u.l. Valentine weeping and protesting inarticulately. Diane has dropped on the bench. Nana deliberately picks up the money and counts it, tucking it in her bosom, then turns to Diane threateningly.) Diane. (Fear turning her feet to stone) Oh, no, please. Nana — Nana, please! (Nana is silent.) Na-na — Nana — ^please! (Nana moves like a cat toward Diane, who retreats a few steps right, grow- ing weaker in her terror. Nana comes to Diane, who is cringing, pushes her sleeves further back, then putting her strong fingers slowly through Diane's hair, suddenly clutches at her throat. Diane screams SEVENTH HEAVEN 29 and tries vainly to free herself and Nana's fingers deliberately close around her throat and begin slowly with all their strength to strangle her. Diane falls on her back and Nana fcHls with her, clinging to her throat like a big black cat. They lie in the gutter to- gether. On second scream, Boul runs out of the wine shop, having heard the cries.) Boul. Here, here! For the love of God — what are you doing there? Help! Help! Help! some- one! (He tries in vain to pull Nana off by the shoulders.) (Suddenly the sewer trap is pushed open from belozv beside Diane's face and up out of the man-hole springs a handsotne young giant, with curling hair and whipcord muscles in his neck. He wears a gay checked shirt, huge velveteen breeches, a red sash, a beret worn at the ex- treme side of his face. He leaps out, closing the trap, showing a smiling flash of white teeth. His hair is dishevelled — his clothes worn and shabby.) Chico. (In high spirits) Hello ! What the devil — hell-cats fighting ! Boul. (In horror) She's killing her ! Chico. (Catching Nana by the back of the neck, holds her up like a cat) Stop that ! Leave her alone ! (Nana hurls herself at him, scratching his face.) I'll cut your claws ! I'll show you what I'll do with you ! (Catching both her wrists he holds them above her head, deftly kicks her feet from under her and then slips her body down into the mnn-hole out of sight. We hear muffled cries. Boul in the mean- while has lifted Diane to the taxi, lays her along the mudpuard, covering her head and shoulders zitith her 30 SEVENTH HEAVEN Nana. (In agony of fear) Don't drop me! Don't drop me ! Chico. Now, sweet lady, let us have a little reason here. Will you promise Nana. I'll promise anything. Don't drop me! Chico. (Lifting her out to safety) Good ! Now, if I ever catch you abusing this woman, I shall come for you wherever you are. I'll cut out your gizzard and fry it. Nana. (Under her breath) Oh, my God! Chico. Get out of here ! (He gives a jump at her with arms in air.) Yah! (Nana runs out in terror u.l. Chico draws a large bandana frow, his trouser pocket, wipes his face.) Whew! Now, I ask you. Comrade Boul, why the devil did I do that? It's no affair of mine. I am always doing the thing I don't want to do. Every time I come up out of the sewer, I get into trouble. (Rat enters from sewer, goes to taxi and gets bun- dle.) Boul. (Who has lain Diane along the mudguard of the taxi, in an awed voice) You saved her life, Chico. Chico. (Removing jacket) What good is it? Why have I saved a creature like that ? A thousand times better for everyone if she were dead. (Closing trap.) Boul. (Patting Diane Tmth rough sympathy as she slowly recovers consciousness) There — ^there — your sister won't harm you again. Rat. Dinner is served ! Chico. What did you get ? Rat. (Handing him bundle) Look! Chico. (Picks out large sausage) Truffles ! (A hunk of cheese.) Caviarre de Russe ! (Rat crosses to gutter and holds up a big onion.) And violets' SEVENTH HEAVEN 31 (BouL hands him the bottle of wine and loaf of bread which he has unearthed from the seat of the taxi.) And champagne ! (Boul annexes the wine and opens it imth care. Rat peels the onions, while Chico produces a long, thin clasp-knife which he opens with a snap and cuts the bread against his breast. Boul has returned to DianeJ Come, Com- rade Boul, leave her alone. Dinner is more impor- tant. Boul. (Growling) Then why do you keep me waiting every day now? Chico. The sewer is an exacting master. Stop your snout with that ! (Places a hunk of bread on the end of his knife and thrusts it towards Boul^s mouth. But he is still troubled. He rises and goes to Diane, still cutting bread; looks down at her with a wry face.) Still a little sick, eh? Your stomach feels nervous ? — Like this ? (He opens his hand and closes it. Then to Ratj Hey, give me that violet. (Rat brings an onion and stands left of him as Chico jabs it on the end of his knife, placing it un- der her nose. She draws away. Rat laughs loudly.) There you have it — she's cured ! (He gives knife back to Rat. Walks away; then turns and looks back at her. Rat returns to gutter.) Come, you can't stay there. You're going to eat with us ! Diane. (Weakly) No, thank you. Chico. What's that? You don't think I'm going to let you sit there like a dead rat and spoil our party ? Boul. Aw, leave her alone, Chico. Chico. I will not. Come along, get up! (He lifts her and assists her down to gutter; where she sits at the right of Rat.j Sit down there — here, eat. (Gives her some bread.) You're not dead. If vou 32 SEVENTH HEAVEN I am a very remarkable fellow. (Sits.) That's why I am an atheist ! (Gobin enters with hose.) BouL. (Pointing left, in a low whisper) Look ! — Maximilian Gobin, the Street Washer ! (Chico turns swiftly and is plainly awed.) Chico. (Aside to Boul^ Let's ask him to join us! BouL. That snob ! Talk to you ? You're too low for him, Chico. Chico. Is that so? (Bowing to Gobin as he crosses to Inn.) Good evening, Citizen Street Washer. (Gobin gives him a surly look as he pro- ceeds on his way.) Will you do me the honor of din- ing with us ? Gobin. (Deliberately; looking over his shoulder at Chico^ Dine with you! No! (Goes into Inn.) Chico. (Hurt; clears his throat) You're right, BouL BouL. (Judicially) Of course, I'm right. Never forget — (Picks up sausage) — the hose represents a social position higher than the sewer! (Hands Chico the sausage.) Chico. Social position (Sits.) Now I ask you, what is our liberty, fraternity, equality? Words ! Words ! That's why I'm an atheist. Why should that sheep's bladder have the hose while I am kept down among the drain pipes ? Me — who I know am a very remarkable fellow ! It's easy to see that I am that ! BouL. Chico, what made you an atheist ? Chico. Everything. Women like that (Jerks his thumb at Diane.^ Did God make her on pur- pose to live in the gutter — to be beaten and stran- gled? BouL. But, Chico, you don't understand. Chico. Oh, I understand right enough. Of course, there is no God. You have only to look around you at life. SEVENTH HEAVEN 33 BouL. I know there is. Chico. How do you know ? BouL. I've proved it. Chico. (Sits) How ? BouL. A hundred ways. Chico. All right. Name one ! BouL. The idea proves itself. There must be a Bon Dieu — otherwise who made good things of life — this wine— this cheese — this onion — France and Frenchmen ? Chico. Wait ! Did the Bon Dieu make me? BouL. (Hesitatingly) Certainly ! Chico. And you ? BouL. (Cheerfully) Of course. Chico. (Indicating RatJ And that ? BouL. (With a look at the Rat; then confiden- tially to Chicoj We-ell, everybody makes mistakes sometimes. Chico. Let's ask her. (Rises and goes to Diane; kicks her foot.) Hey, you! {DiAViis. looks up slcw- ly.) Do you believe there is a Bon Dieu ? Diane. I always have — but Chico. But — but — you see, she doesn't know. Nobody else does ! BouL. But you've got to have faith, Chico. You've got to believe. Chico. (Now down right) Huh ! BouL. I can tell you faith has worked a miracle with me ! Chico. A miracle ! Pooh ! BouL. Pooh, nonsense. My old horse, Eloise, dropped dead. I had nothing. I prayed to St. An- toine for a taxi. Three days later my friend Albert died and left me his machine and it's been running 34 SEVENTH HEAVEN Chico. (With derision) Yes — no — no — yes. That's religion. (Laughs. Crosses around back to left of BouL.^ BouL. (Filling an old pipe) Chico, the trouble with you is — you're ignorant ! You know nothing of the beauty and consolation of religion. Chico. (Going left to coat and getting cigarettes and matches) Religion — huh! Let me tell you something ! I'm an atheist because I was religious ! I've gone all through that. BouL. Did you ever pray ? Chico. (Taking center) Pray? How I have prayed ! I've prayed so long and so loud that unless your Bon Dieu was deaf He must have heard me. I gave him a fair test — three times. BouL. Three times ? Chico. (Holding up fingers) Three times! First, I prayed for the hose. Above all things, you know my ambition was to be a Street Washer — to carry the hose — ^that thing ! (Points to it.) I wanted to wash the streets up here among people and sun- shine. I chose the finest church in Paris — the ca- thedral of Notre Dame — and bought the largest can- dle in the place for five francs. BouL. (Awed) Five francs — ^that's money! Chico. (Nodding gravely) But I didn't get it. So I said perhaps the Bon Dieu, if there is any, meant me for a sewer man. You see, I am a philosopher. Then I wanted another thing — again I lit a candle — five francs more. BouL. What was that for ? Chico. (With an embarrassed smile — rather wist- fully) A wife with yellow hair. BouL. (Laughing) A wife? Chico. I prayed for a good wife. I prayed till I sweat. Bah — nothing turned up. The only women I ever see are creatures like that. (He points with disgust at Diane, who turns from him with a slight SEVENTH HEAVEN 35 movement. Sqimts doum on his haunches before BouL.) But do you think I gave up your Bon Dieu then? No, my friend, I said: "Monsieur, le Bon Dieu, I'm going to give you one more chance. For the third and last time — and then if you can't see that there is such a one as Chico — Chico can't see that there is such a one as You. Good sense, eh ? So for this last time I prayed — (Searches for a word) — for an — ^an experience 1 BouL. A what ? Chico. Oh, you wouldn't understand. Nobody would but myself. I wanted once to have the experi- ence of feeling like a fine gentleman and riding in a taxi cab. BouL. And you lit another candle for that ? Chico. I did — another five francs gone to the devil! BouL. (Amused) But I would have driven you for nothing ! Chico. I knew you couldn't understand! Listen — I wanted to have enough money once in my life to climb into a taxi and say, "Fellow, make the grand tour. Drive me first to the Place Concord; then to the Champs Elysee ; then to the Arc de Triumph ; then home to 48 Rue Notre Dame de Lorette and perdition take the expense !" BouL. (Counting on one finger at a time; deeply impressed) Fifteen francs! (Here the priest enters from the church and stands listening with a smile.) Chico. Yes. Your Bon Dieu owes me fifteen francs. You must admit, Boul, that's a lot of money to spend on an idea. But I have proved to mvself ^6 SEVENTH HEAVEN Chevillon. (Crossing down to left of Cnico) Come, I don't think you really are, my son ! Rat. (Running behind taxi) Look out, Chico, he'll baptize you ! Chevillon. (Laughing) Have no fear, Chico. But I can tell you what you are. You're a fine brave young man, and an old priest owes his life to you ! Chico. (Eyeing him with distaste, yet politely) Forgive me. Citizen. Why I saved you I don't know. I always do the thing I don't want to do. Frankly, I don't like priests. (Rat slowly returns from be- hind taxi.) BouL. For shame, Chico. Chevillon. But then neither do I — not all of us — we do look a bit like old crows — but as man to man, then, you must see I arn under obligation to you. I want to do something for you. Chico. (Haughtily) I want nothing in this world, Citizen. I am an atheist. I ask for nothing. (Crosses left of priest.) BouL. (Rising and crossing r. of priest) Come now, Chico, you mustn't lie to a priest. It's bad luck! Chico. It's true. I want nothing. BouL. Why, you just told us what you wanted! (To priest) Why, he prayed for them, Father. He prayed hard for three things. Chevillon. (Twinkling with amusement) Ah! And what were they ? Chico. (Treateningly) Boul! BouL. (Hurriedly) He wanted a ride in a taxi- cab with a yellow-haired wife and have money enough to pay for it — ^the money to be earned from the hose ! Chevillon. (Laughing) The what? Boul. (Dodging ChicoJ The hose — ^the hose — that thing! (He points to it.) He wants to be a street washer ! SEVENTH HEAVEN 37 Chevillon. (Gaily) Bravo! I can do one of these things. The hose is yours — take it ; you are ap- pointed street washer! Chico. (Collapsing, then suspicious) Wh-at! You can do this ? Chevillon. (Who has been writing on a colored religious card which he has taken out of his missal) It is done! (BouL crosses back and sits on curb. Rat sits.) Take this card to the Commissioner. The hose is yours, Chico, and the obligation is somewhat paid ! (Producing a small box from the deep pocket of his soutaine.) Now, I am going to ask you to keep these two medals of St. John and St. Agnes I bought for you. Chico. (Frowning) Religious medals? Chevillon. I know it hardly pleases an atheist — Chico. You are right. Citizen. Chevillon. But these two saints will protect you from danger. Please don't refuse them. They may remind you of the very grateful old crow you saved. (BouL and the Rat go up near taxi. Priest turns u.L. BouL and Rat return to gutter.) And whether you Uke it or not, I'm going to pray for you. (He turns. Chico crosses center and looks at priest.) The Bon Dieu has a sense of humor and the joke is on you, Chico. Au revoir. Citizen Street Washer. (He walks down the lane u.l., laughing merrily.) Chico. (Walks a few steps after him; then stands in awe ; turns slowly and stares at the others dumb- struck. Then looks at the card in his hand. Wildly) I'm a street washer ! I have risen ! I have risen ! Boul. Didn't the Bon Dieu do that? Chico. (Suddenly baring his teeth, advances tow- ards his companions, who retreat before him) Oh, ves. vou would sav that! If anvthin? sooA haooens 38 SEVENTH HEAVEN Chico rubs his poll, awed.) Still, it was strange. A moment ago I was nothing ! Now I am a man of po- sition ! Mon Dieu ! (He has opened the box, hold- ing up the chain with the two medals.) BouL. Eh? Chico. It's silver — real silver! (Boul and the Rat rise and go to him. He turns them upside down; a queer noise comes into his throat.) Ah ! Boul. Eh? What is it? Chico. (In a faint whisper) The price mark! Look! Boul. Fifteen francs! (The church bell rings once. They look at each other with a qualm of fear; then peer apprehensively over their shoulders; then at each other; Rat and Boul cross themselves fer- vently.) Paid the debt ! Now do you believe ? Chico. No ! (Goes u.R.j A coincidence to fool me ! Come, we'll go into the Sock and celebrate ! Come, comrades Rat. Drink! That's it! (All three link arms and with fine gestures walk toward the Inn singing: Drink a little bit, steal with care; Lie right out of it, fight and dare. Love with your soul each day in seven — And you'll earn your turn in Heaven!) Boul. Wait — we can't leave her. (He breaks away and comes d.r. to Diane, helping her to her feet.) Come on, Diane — drink with us — come on ! (Diane obediently rises, crosses u.r. and takes a step toward them when Chico bars the way. Boul and Rat exit merrily into the Inn.) (GoBiN enters from cafe and crosses left.) Chico. (u.r.) No, no! You understand. Mad- emoiselle, now that I am a street washer — I couldn't (He sees Gobin and leaves Diane. Joyously) Ah, Maximilian Gobin! (Gobin, as re- SEVENTH HEAVEN 39 sponsive as a turtle, waddles slowly on and picks up his hose u.l. Chico follows him across stage.) I have just been elevated to the hose. Look! (Shows GoBiN the card. Diane returns to gutter and sits.) GoBiN. Er? — (Reads the card and unbends — with a charming smile offers a finlike paw to Chico^ — Street Washer ! Welcome, Comrade ! Chico. I thank you, Comrade. GoBiN. Good evening, Comrade. Chico. (Following him rear left) Good evening. Comrade. (He stands there a moment, looking after GoBiN, boxtnng low. Diane, who has sat still, now, seeing Chico's knife lying in gutter, stares at it, then her hand slowly is seen to reach for it and pick it up. Chico turns and starts toward cafe, when he sees her.) Hey! What the devil are you doing there? (He makes a dash for her and grabs the knife.) Diane. (Wildly) No — no— , Austin Strong A. A- Milne Harriet Ford Paul Green James Montgomery Edward Childs Carpenter Arthur Riqhman Philip Barnr George Middleton Channine Pollock George Kaufman ' Martm Flavin Victor Mapes > Kate Douglas Wiggia Rida Johnson Young Margaret Mayo Roi Cooper Megrue Jean Webster George Broadhurst George Hobart Frederick S. tsham ' Madeline Lucette Ryley Fred Ballard Percy MacKaye Willard Mack Jerome K. Jerome R. C. Carton Mark Swan Rachel Crother* W. W. Jacobs < Ernest Denny Kenyon Nicholson Aaron Hoffman H. V. Esmond Edgar Selwyn Laurience Houstnon Israel Zangwill Walter Hackett A. E. \Thonias Edna Ferber Justin Huntley McCarthy John Henry Mean John B. Stapleton Frederick Lonsdale Bryon Ongley Rex Beach Paul Armstrong bcludes Play* by George Kelly Booth Tarkington George Ade J. C. and Elliott Nncatt J. Hartley Manners Barry Connors Edith Ellis. Harold Bri^ouse Harvey J. O'Higgini Clare Kummer James Forbes i WilUam C. DeMilb Louis N. Parker Anthony Hope Lewis Beach Guy Bolton Edward E. 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