V, \ CORNELL UNIVERSITY LIBRARY BOUGHT WITH THE INCOME OF THE SAGE ENDOWMENT FUND GIVEN IN 1891 BY HENRY WILLIAMS SAGE DATE DUE ^^ Cornell University Library PR4884.A1 1894 v.1-38 Novels. 3 1924 013 516 111 The original of this book is in the Cornell University Library. There are no known copyright restrictions in the United States on the use of the text. http://www.archive.org/cletails/cu31924013516111 '■'^C^Pfr^^f^.^^^'^^'' j^t^r" ^ BOSTON LI TTLE ,BROWN,,,„J COMPANY. THE NOVELS OF CHARLES LEVER. aJSiti) an Kntroljuction Ijg anSvtto ILanfl. ARTHUR O'LEARY: ^i^ mandetfngjs ann p>onDet:tttgjs in jman^ lanD^. WITH ILLUSTRATIONS BY GEORGE CRUIKSHANK. BOSTON: LITTLE, BROWN, AND COMPANY. 1894. > THE- EDITION- 0ELU)CE-OF-CHARLES J LEVERS NQVEL5-ON-DlcklN30N- t S HAND-MADE- PAPER.- WlTH_PUPU't 1 CATE-PLATE3- IS-LIMlTED-tO-ONE/a I HUNDRED-AND-FlFTY-5ET3-FOB„ AMERICA- ., /, -NVMBER. /Z JEmijfvsitjB ^rcsB : John Wilson and Son, Cambkiuge, U.S.A. CONTENTS. Page Introduction . . . . 1 CHAfTEB 1. The " Attwood " . . .... . 15 II. The Passport. — A Perilous Adventure. — Mine Host or the Boar's Head . 24 III. Mine Host's Tale ... . . . 39 IV. Mems. and Moralizings . . ... 45 V. Strange Characters . ... 53 VI. The Smuggler's Story . ... 67 VII. The Smuggler's Story {continued) . . 93 VIII. The Smuggler's Story {concluded) . . 110 IX. Table-Traits , . , 148 X. A Dilemma . . . . . . .156 XL A Fragment or Forest Life . . 185 XII. Chateau Life . .... 310 XIII. The Abbe's Story .... . . 227 XIV, The Chase ... 245 XV. A Narrow Escape . . .... 261 XVI. A Mountain Adventure ... ... 279 XVII. The Bore. — A Soldier of the Empire . 292 XVIII. The Retreat from Leipsic ... 301 VI CONTENTS. Chapter Page XIX. The Top of a Diligence ... ... 311 XX. Bonn and Student Lipe ... . , 321 XXI. The Student . . , . - . . 340 XXII. Spas and Grand Dukedoms 355 XXIII. The Travelling Party . 364 XXIV. The Gambling-Room . 375 XXV. A Watering-Place Doctor 386 XXVI. Sir Harry Wycherlev 394 XXVII. The Recovery House . . 406 XXVIII. The " Dream oe Death " . . 411 XXIX. The Strange Guest . . . - 421 XXX. The Park . 429 XXXI. The Baron's Story . 435 XXXII. The Rapacious Oeeicer . . 462 XXXIII. The Fortress . . . . 478 XXXIV. A Play by Command ..... . 4S6 XXXV. Conclusion . 498 ILLUSTRATIONS BY GEORGE CRUIKSHANK. 3Etcf)tng0. Portrait op Arthur O'Leary Frontispiece A Plat by Command ... . . Engraved title Crossing a Erontier ... .... . . 27 Lust und Rust . .... 44 A Theatrical Exit . . . 83 A Night in the Forest of Arden 203 A ■■' MaRIAGE sous la CuEMINfe " , ... 275 Lazare .... . ... . . . . 284 PuTTisG AN Extinguisher on Mateimony . . 339 A New Way to reckon without One's Host . 472 INTRODUCTION. When some years ago we took the liberty, in a volume of our so-called "Confessions," to introduce to our reader's acquaintance the gentleman whose name figures in the title- page, we subjoined a brief notice by himself, intimating the intention he entertained of one day giving to the world a further insight into his life and opinions, under the title of "Loiterings of Arthur O'Leary." It is more than probable that the garbled statement and incorrect expression of which we ourselves were guilty re- specting our friend had piqued him into this declaration, which, on mature consideration, he thought fit to abandon. For, from that hour to the present one nothing of the kind ever transpired, nor could, we ascertain, by the strictest inquiry, that such a proposition of publication had ever been entertained in the West End, or heard of in the "Eow." The worthy traveller had wandered away to "pastures new," heaven knows where ! and, notwithstanding repeated little paragraphs in the second advertising column of the "Times" newspaper, assuring "A. O'L. that if he would inform his friends where a letter would reach all would be forgiven," etc., the mystery of his whereabouts remained unsolved, save by the chance mention of a northwest-pas- sage traveller, who speaks of a Mr. O'Leary as having pre- sided at a grand bottle-nosed whale dinner in Behring's Straits some time in the autumn of 1840 ; and an allusion in the second volume of the Chevalier de Bertonville's " Dis- 1 2 INTRODUCTION. coveries in Central Africa " to an Irlandais Men original, who acted as sponsor to the son and heir of King Bulla- nullaboo, in the Chieckhow Territory. That either, or, in- deed, both these individuals resolved themselves into our respected friend, we entertained no doubt whatever ; nor did the information cause us any surprise, far less, unquestion- ably, than had we heard of his ordering his boots from Hoby, or his coat from Stultz. Meanwhile time rolled on; and whether Mr. O'Leary had died of the whale feast, or been eaten himself by his godson, no one could conjecture ; and his name had probably been lost amid the rust of ages, if certain booksellers in remote districts had not chanced upon the announcement of his volume, and their " country orders " kept dropping in for these same " Loiterings," of which the publishers were obliged to confess they knew nothing whatever. Now, the season was a dull one, — nothing stirring in the literary world; people had turned from books to newspa- pers ; a gloomy depression reigned over the land. The In- dia news was depressing ; the China, worse ; the French were more insolent than ever ; the prices were falling under the new tariff ; pigs looked down, and " Kepealers " looked up. The only interesting news was the frauds in pork, which turned out to be pickled negroes and potted squaws. What was to be done ? A literary speculation at such a moment was preposterous ; for although in an age of temperance, nothing prospered but " Punch." It occurred to us, " then pondering," as Lord Brougham would say, that as these same " Loiterings " had been asked for more than once, and an actual order for two copies had been seen in the handwriting of a solvent individual, there was no reason why we should not write them ourselves. There would be little difficulty in imagining what a man like O'Leary would say, think, or do, in any given situa- tion. The peculiarities of his character might, perhaps, give point to what dramatic people call " situations," but yet were not of such a nature as to make their portraiture a matter of any difficulty. INTRODUCTION. 3 We confess the thing savored a good deal of book- making. What of tliat ? We remember once, in a row in Dublin, when the military were called out, that a senti- nel happened to have an altercation with an old woman of that class for which the Irish metropolis used to have a patent in all that regards street eloquence and repartee. The soldier, provoked beyond endurance, declared at last with an oath "that if she didn't go away, he'd drive his bayonet through her." " Oh, then, the devil thank you for that same," responded the hag, " sure, is n't it your trade ? " Make the application, dear reader, and forgive us for our authorship to order. Besides, had we not before us the example of Alexandre Dumas, in France, whose practice it is to amuse the world by certain "Souvenirs de Voyage," which he has never made, not even in imagination, but which are only the dressed-up skeletons of other men's rambles, and which he buys, exactly as the Jews do old uniforms and court suits, for exportation to the colonies. And thus, while thousands of his readers are sympathizing with the suffering of the aforesaid Alexandre, in his perilous passage of the great desert or his fearful encounter with Norwegian wolves, little know they that their hero is snugly established in his entresol of the Eue d' Alger, lying full length on a spring-cushioned sofa, with a Manilla weed on his lip, and George Sand's last bulletin of wickedness half cut before him ; these " Souvenirs de Voyage " being nothing more than the adventures and incidents of Messrs. John Doe and Richard Doe, paragraphed, witticized, and spiced for public taste, by Alexandre Dumas, pretty much as cheap taverns give " gravy " and " ox-tail," — the smallest modi- cum of meat to the most high-seasoned and hot-flavoured condiments. If, then, we had scruples, here was a precedent to relieve our minds, here a case perfectly in point, at least so far as the legitimacy of the practice demanded. But, unhap- pily, it ended there ; for although it may be, and indeed is, very practicable for Monsieur Dumas, by the perfection of 4 INTRODUCTION. his " cuisine," to make the meat itself a secondary part of the matter, yet do we grievously fear that a tureen full of " O'Leary " might not be an acceptable dish, because there was a bone of " Harry Lorrequer " in the bottom. With all these pros and cons, our vainglorious boast to write the work in question stared us suddenly in the face ; and, really, we felt as much shame as can reasonably be supposed to visit a man, whose countenance has been hawked about the streets, and sold in shilling numbers. What was to be done ? There was the public, too ; but, like Tony Lumpkin, we felt we might disappoint the com- pany at the Three Jolly Pigeons, — but could we disappoint ourselves ? Alas ! there were some excellent reasons against such a consummation. So, respected reader, whatever liberties we mighb take with you, we had to look nearer home, and bethink us of ourselves. After all, — and what a glorious charge to the jury of one's conscience is your " after all ! " what a plenary indulgence against all your sins of com- mission and omission! what a makepeace to self-accusa- tion, and what a salve to heartfelt repinings ! — after all, we did know a great deal about O'Leary: his life and opinions, his habits and haunts, his prejudices, pleasures, and predilections ; and although we never performed Boz to his Johnson, still had we ample knowledge of him for all purposes of book-writing ; and there was no reason why we should not assume his mantle, or rather his mackintosh, if the weather required it. Having in some sort allayed our scruples in this fashion, and having satisfied our conscience by the resolve that if we were not about to record the actual res gestm of :^Ir. O'Leary, neither would we set down anything which might not have been one of his adventures, nor put into his mouth any imaginary conversations which he might not have sus- tained; so that, in short, should the volume ever come under the eyes of the respected gentleman himself, con- siderable mystification would exist as to whether he did not say, do, and think exactly as we made him, and INTRODUCTION. 6 much doubt lie on his mind that he was not the author himself. We wish particularly to lay stress on the honesty of these our intentions — the more, as subsequent events have interfered with their accomplishment ; and we can only assure the world of what we would have done, had we been permitted. And here let us observe, en passant, that if other literary characters had been actuated by similarly honorable views, we should have been spared those very absurd speeches which Sallust attributes to his characters in the Catiline conspiracy ; and another historian, with still greater daring, assumes the Prince of Orange ought to have spoken at various epochs in the late Belgian revolution. With such prospective hopes, then, did we engage in the mystery of these same " Loiterings ; " and with a pleasure such as only men of the pen can appreciate, did we watch the bulky pile of manuscript that was growing up before us, while the interest of the work had already taken hold of us. And whether we moved our puppets to the slo-w figure of a minuet, or rattled them along at the slap-dash, ' hurry-scurry, devil-may-care pace, for which our critics habitually give us credit, we felt that our foot beat time responsively to the measure, and that we actually began to enjoy the performance. In this position stood matters when one early morning in December the post brought us an ominous-looking epistle, which, even as we glanced our eye on the outside, conveyed an impression of fear and misgiving to our minds. If there are men in whose countenances, as Pitt remarked, " villany is so impressed, it were impiety not to believe it," so are there certain letters whose very shape and color, fold, seal, and superscription have something gloomy and threat- ening, something of menace and mischief about them. This was one of these ; the paper was a greenish, sickly white, a kind of dyspeptic foolscap ; the very mill that fabricated it might have had the shaking ague. The seal was of bottle-wax, the impression, a heavy thumb. The ad- dress ran, " To H. L." The writing was a species of rustic 6 INTRODUCTION. paling, curiously interwoven and gnarled, to which the thickness of the ink lent a needless obscurity, giving to the whole the appearance of something like a child's effort to draw a series of beetles and cockroaches with a blunt stick. But what most of all struck terror to our souls was an abortive effort at the words " Arthur O'Leary," scrawled in the corner. What ! had he really then escaped the perils of blubber and black men ? Was he alive ? and had he come back to catch us «t delicto, — in the very fact of editing him, of raising our exhausted exchequer at his cost, and replen- ishing our empty coffers under his credit ? Our suspicions were but too true. We broke the seal, and spelled as follows : — SiE, — A lately-arrived traveller in these parts brings me intelli- gence that a work is announced for publication by you, under the title of " The Loiterings of Arthur O'Leary," containing his opinions, notions, dreamings, and doings during several years of his life, and in various countries. Now this must mean me ; and I should like to know what are a man's own, if his adventures are not ? His on- goings, his begehenheiten, as the Germans call them, are they not as much his, as his, — what shall I say 1 — his flannel waistcoat or hia tobacco-pipe ? If I have spent many years and many pounds (of tobacco) in my explorings of other lands, is it for you to reap the benefit ? If I have walked, smoked, laughed, and fattened from Trolhatten to Tehran, was it that you should have the profit ? Was I to exhibit in ludi- crous situations and extravagant incidents, with " illustrations by Phiz," because I happened to be fat, and fond of rambling ? Or was it my name only that you pirated, so that Arthur O'Leary should be a type of something ludicrous, wherever he appeared in company ? Or, worse still, was it an attempt to extort money from me, as I understand you once before tried, by assuming for one of your heroes the name of a most respectable gentleman in private life ? To which of these counts do you plead guilty ? "Whatever is your plan, here is mine : I have given instructions to my man of law to obtain an injunction from the Chancellor, restrain- ing you or any other from publishing these " Loiterings." Yes, an order of the court will soon put an end to this most unwarrantable invasion of private rights. Let us see then if yon '11 dare to persist in this nefarious scheme. INTRODUCTION. 7 The Swan River for you and the stocks for your publisher may, perhaps, moderate your literary and publishing ardour, — eh ! Mas- ter Harry ? Or, do you contemplate adding your own adventures beyond seas to the volume, and then make something of your " Con- fessions of a Convict ] " I must conclude at once ; in my indignation this half-hour, I have been swallowing all the smoke of my meer- schaum, and I feel myself turning round and round like a smoke- jack. Once for all, — stop ! recall your announcement, burn your manuscript, and prostrate yourself in abject humility at my feet, and with many sighs, and two pounds of shag (to be had at No. 8 Francis Street, two doors from the lane), you may haply be forgiven by yours, in wrath, Arthur O'Lbary. Address a line, if in penitence, to me here, where the lovely scenery and the society remind me much of Siberia. Edendebry, " The Pig and Pot-hooks.'' Having carefully read and re-read this letter, and having laid it before those vrhose interests, like our own, were deeply involved, we really for a time became thoroughly nonplussed. To disclaim any or all of the intentions attributed to us in Mr. O'Leary's letter would have been perfectly useless, so long as we held to our project of pub- lishing anything under his name. Of no avail to assure him that our " Loiterings of Arthur O'Leary " were not his, that our hero was not himself. To little purpose should we adduce that our alter ego was the hero of a book by the prebend of Lichfield, and " Charles Lever " given to the world as a socialist. He cared for nothing of all this ; tenax propositi, he would listen to no explanation ; unconditional, absolute, Chinese submission were his only terms, and with these we were obliged to comply. And yet how very ridiculous was the power he assumed. Was any- thing more common in practice than to write the lives of distinguished men, even before their death, and who ever heard of the individual seeking legal redress against his biographer, except for libel ? " Come, come, Arthur," said we to ourselves, " this threat affrights us not. Here we begin Chapter XIV." 8 INTRODUCTION. Just then we turned our eyes mechanically towards the pile of manuscript at our elbow, and could not help admir- ing the philosophy with which he spoke of condemning to the flames the fruit of our labor. Still, it was evident that Air. O'Leary's was no brutum fulrnen, but very respectable and downright thunder ; and that in fact we should soon be where, however interesting it may make a young lady, it by no means suits an elderly gentleman to be, namely, — in chancery. " What 's to be done ? " was the question, which like a tennis-ball we pitched at each other. "We have it," said we. " We '11 start at once for Edenderry, and bring this with us," pointing to our manuscript. " We '11 show O'Leary how near immortality he was, and may still be, if not loaded with obstinacy ; we '11 read him a bit of our droll, and some snatches of our pathetic passages. We '11 show him how the ' Immortal George ' intends to represent him. In a word, we '11 enchant him with the fascinating position to which we mean to exalt him ; and before the evening ends obtain his special permission to deal with him, as before now we have done with his betters, and — print him." Our mind made up, no time was to be lost. We took our place in the Grand Canal passage-boat for Edenderry, and wrapping ourselves up in our virtue and another thin gar- ment they call a zephyr, began our journey. We should have liked well, had our object permitted it, to have made some brief notes of our own " Loiterings." But the goal of our wanderings, as well as of our thoughts, was ever before us ; and we spent the day imagining to our- selves the various modes by which we should make our advances to the enemy with most hope of success. Whether the company themselves did not afford anything very re- markable, or our own preoccupation prevented our noticing it, certes we jogged on without any consciousness that we were not perfectly alone, and this for some twenty miles of the way. At last, however, the cabin became intolerably hot. Something like twenty-four souls were imprisoned in INTRODUCTION. 9 a space ten feet by three, which the humanity of the com- pany of directors kindly limits to forty-eight, — a number which no human ingenuity could pack into it, if living. The majority of the passengers were what by courtesy are called " small farmers," namely, individuals weighing from eighteen to six-and-twenty stone ; priests, with backs like the gable of a chapel ; and a sprinkling of elderly ladies from the bog towns along the bank, who actually resembled turf clamps in their proportions. We made an effort to reach the door, and having at length succeeded, found to our sorrow that the rain was falling heavily. Notwith- standing this, we remained without as long as we could venture, the oppressive heat within being far more intoler- able than even the rain. At length, however, wet through and cold, we squeezed ourselves into a small corner near the door, and sat down. But what a change had our unpro- pitious presence evoked. We left our fellow-travellers, a noisy, jolly, semi-riotous party, disputing over the markets, censuring Sir Robert, abusing the poor-rates, and discussing various matters of foreign and domestic policy, from Shah Shoojah to subsoil ploughs. A dirty pack of cards, and even punch, were adding their fascinations to while away the tedious hours ; but now the company sat in solemn silence. The ladies looked straight before them, without a muscle of their faces moving ; the farmers had lifted the collars of their frieze coats, and concealed their hands within their sleeves, so as to be perfectly invisible; and the reverend fathers, putting on dark and dangerous looks, spoke only in monosyllables, no longer sipped their liquor in comfort, but rang the bell from time to time, and ordered " another beverage," a curious smoking compound, that to our un-Mathewed senses savored suspiciously of whiskey. It was a dark night when we reached the Pig and Pot- hooks, the hostelry whence Mr. O'Leary had addressed us ; and although not yet eight o'clock, no appearance of light nor any stir announced that the family were about. After some little delay, our summons was answered by a bare-legged handmaiden, who, to our question if Mr. O'Leary 10 INTRODUCTION. stopped there, without further hesitation opened a small door to the left, and introduced us bodily into his august presence. Our travelled friend was seated more suo, with his legs supported on two chairs while he himself in chief occupied a third, his wig being on the arm of that one on which he reposed. A very imposing tankard, with a floating toast, smoked on the table; and a large collection of pipes of every grade, from the haughty hubble-bubble to the hum- ble dudeen, hung around on the walls. "Ha!" said he, as we closed the door behind us and advanced into the room, " and so you are penitent. Well, Hal, I forgive you. It was a scurvy trick though ; but I remember it no longer. Here, take a pull at the pewter, and tell us all the Dublin news." It is not our intention, dear reader, to indulge in the same mystification with you that we practised on our friend Mr. O'Leary, or, in other words, to invent for your edification, as we confess to have done for his, all the events and circumstances which might have, but did not take place in Dublin for the preceding month. It is enough to say that about eleven o'clock Mr. O'Leary was in the seventh heaven of conversational contentment and in the ninth flagon of purl. " Open it, let me see it. Come, Hal, divulge at once," said he, kicking the carpet-bag that contained our manu- script. We undid the lock, and emptied our papers before him. His eyes sparkled as the heavy folds fell over each other on the table, his mouth twitched with a movement of convulsive pleasure. " Ring the bell, my lad," said he ; " the string is beside you. Send the master, Mary," con- tinued he, as the maiden entered. Peter Mahoon soon made his appearance, rather startled at being summoned from his bed, and evidencing in his toilette somewhat more of zeal than dandyism. " Is the house insured, Peter ? " said Mr. O'Leary. " No, sir," rejoined he, with a searching look around the room, and a sniff of his nose, to discover if he could detect the smell of fire. INTRODUCTION. 11 " What 's the premises worth, Peter ? " " Sorrow one of me knows right, sir. Maybe a hundred and fifty, or it might bring two hundred pounds." " All right," said O'Leary, briskly, as seizing my manu- script with both hands he hurled it on the blazing turf fire ; and then grasping the poker, stood guard over it, exclaim- ing as he did so, " Touch it, and by the beard of the Prophet I '11 brain you ! Now, there it goes, blazing up the chimney. Look how it floats up there ! I never expected to travel like that anyhow. Eh, Hal? Your work is a brilliant affair, is n't it ? — and as well puffed as if you entertained every newspaper editor in the king- dom ? And see," cried he, as he stamped his foot upon the blaze, " the whole edition is exhausted already, — not a copy to be had for any money." We threw ourselves back in our chair, and covered our face with our hands. The toil of many a long night, of many a bright hour of sun and wind, was lost to us for- ever, and we may be pardoned if our grief was heavy. " Cheer up, old fellow," said he, as the last flicker of the burning paper expired. " You know the thing was bad ; it could n't be other. The damned fly-away harum-scarum style of yours is no more adapted to a work of real merit than a Will-o'-the-wisp would be for a lighthouse. Another jug, Peter, — bring two. The truth is, Hal, I was not so averse to the publication of my life as to the infernal mess you 'd have made of it. You have no pathos, no tenderness, — damn the bit." "Come, come," said we, "it is enough to burn our manuscript; but, really, as to playing the critic in this fashion — " "Then," continued he, "all that confounded folly you deal in, laughing at the priests ! Lord bless you, man ! they have more fun, those fellows, than you, and a score like you. There 's one Pather Dolan here would tell two stories for your one, — ay, better than ever you told." " We really have no ambition to enter the lists with your friend." 12 INTRODUCTION. " So much the better, — you 'd get the worst of it ; and as to knowledge of character, see now, Peter Mahoon there would teach you human nature ; and if I liked myself to appear in print — " "Well," said we, bursting out into a fit of laughter, "that would certainly be amusing." "And so it would, whether you jest or no. There's in that drawer there the materials of as fine a work as ever appeared since ' Sir John Carr's Travels ; ' and the style is a happy union of Goldsmith and Jean Paul, — simple yet aphoristic, profound and pleasing, sparkling like the can before me, but pungent and racy in its bitterness. Hand me that oak box, Hal. Which is the key ? At this hour one's sight becomes always defective. Ah, here it is ! — look there ! " We obeyed the command, and truly our amazement was great, though possibly not for the reason that Mr. O'Leary could have desired ; for, instead of anything like a regular manuscript, we beheld a mass of small scraps of paper, backs of letters, newspapers, magazines, fly-leaves of books, old prints, etc., scrawled on in the most uncouth fashion ; and purporting, from the numbers appended, to be a con- tinued narration of one kind or other. " What 's all this ? " said we. " These," said he, " are really ' The Loiterings of Arthur O'Leary.' Listen to this. Here 's a bit of Goldsmith for you : — " ' I was born of poor but respectable parents in the country — ' " What are you laughing at ? Is it because I did n't open with, ' The sun was setting, on the 25th of June, in the year 1763, as two travellers were seen,' etc., etc. ? Eh ? That 's your way, not mine. A London fellow told me that my papers were worth five hundred pounds. Come, that 's what I call something. Now I '11 go over to the 'Eow.' " "Stop a bit. Here seems something strange about the King of Holland." "You mustn't read them, though. No, no. That'll INTRODUCTION. 13 never do, — no, Hal ; no plagiarism. But, after all, I have been a little hasty with you. Perhaps I ought not to have burned that thing ; you were not to know it was bad." "Eh! how?" " Why, I say, you might not see how absurd it was ; so here 's your health, Hal : either that tankard has been drugged, or a strange change has come over my feelings. Harry Lorrequer, I '11 make your fortune, or rather your son's, for you are a wasteful creature, and will spend the proceeds as fast as you get them; but the ever-lastingly- called-for new editions will keep him in cash all his life. I '11 give you that box and its contents ; yes, I repeat it, it is yours. I see you are overpowered ; there, taste the pewter, and you'll get better presently. In that you'll find — a little irregular and carelessly- written, perhaps — the sum of my experience and knowledge of life, — all my correspondence, all my private notes, my opinions on literature, fine arts, politics, and the dramu." But we will not follow our friend into the soaring realms of his imaginative flight, for it was quite evident that the tankard and the tobacco were alone responsible for the lofty promises of his production. In plain English, Mr. O'Leary was fuddled ; and the only intelligible part of his discourse was an assurance that his papers were entirely at our service, and that, as in some three weeks' time he hoped to be in Africa, having promised to spend the Christ- mas with Abd-el-Kader, we were left his sole literary exec- utor, with full power to edit him in any shape it might please us, lopping, cutting, omitting, — anything, even to adding or interpolating. Such were his last orders; and having given them, Mr. O'Leary refilled his pipe, closed his eyes, stretched out his legs to their fullest extent, and although he continued at long intervals to evolve a blue curl of smoke from the corner of his mouth, it was evident he was lost in the land of dreams. In two hours afterwards we were on our way back to Dublin, bearing with us the oaken box, which, however, it is but justice to ourselves to say, we felt as a sad exchange 14 INTEODUCTION. for our own carefully-written manuscript. On reaching home our first care was to examine these papers, and see if anything could be made of them which might prove readable. Unfortunately, however, the mass consisted of brief memoranda, setting forth how many miles Mr. O'Leary had walked on a certain day in the November of 1803, and how he had supped on camel's milk with an amiable family of Bedouins, who had just robbed a caravan in the desert. His correspondence was for the most part an angry one with washer-women and hotel-keepers, and some rather curious hieroglyphic replies to dinner invitations from certain people of rank in the Sandwich Islands. Occa- sionally, however, we chanced on little bits of narrative, fragments of stories, some of which his fellow-travellers had contributed, and brief sketches of places and people that were rather amusing; but so disjointed, broken up, and unconnected were they all, it was almost impossible to give them anything like an arrangement, much less any- thing like consecutive interest. All that lay in our power was to select from the whole certain portions which, from their length, promised more of care than the mere fragments -about them, and present them to our readers with this brief notice of the mode in which we obtained them, — our only excuse for a most irregular and unprecedented liberty in the practice of literature. With this apology for the incompleteness and abruptness of " The O'Leary Papers," — which happily we are enabled to make freely, as our friend Arthur has taken his departure, — we offer them to our readers, only adding that, in proof of their genuine origin, the manuscript can be seen by any one so desiring it, on application to our publishers ; while, for all their follies, faults, and inaccura- cies, we desire to plead our irresponsibility as freely as we wish to attribute any favor the world may show tlfem to their real author ; and with this last assurance, we beg to remain your ever devoted and obedient servant, Haret Loreequee. '-^U/Cf^^^^^Jcsk'^ -^/>nr7 ^5v ^^WA5RO;it4^^ BOSTON LI rriE , BROW N,,oJ COMPANY. AETHUR O'LEARY. CHAPTER I. Old Woodcock says that if Providence had not made him a Justice of the Peace, he 'd have been a vagabond himself. JSTo such kind interference prevailed in my case. I was a vagabond from my cradle. I never could be sent to school alone, like other children ; they always had to see me there safe, and fetch me back again. The rambling bump monopolized my whole head. I 'm sure my god- father must have been the Wandering Jew, or a king's messenger. Here I am again, en route, and sorely puzzled to know whither ? There 's the fellow for my trunk. " What packet, sir ? " "Eh ? What packet ? The vessel at the Tower stairs ?" " Yes, sir ; there are two with the steam up, — the ' Eotterdam ' and the ' Hamburgh.' " " Which goes first ? " "Why, I think the 'Attwood,' sir." "Well, then, shove aboard the 'Attwood.' Where is she for ? " " She 's for Rotterdam. — He ^s a queer cove, too," said the fellow under his teeth, as he moved out of the room, "and don't seem to care where he goes." A capital lesson in life may be learned from the few moments preceding departure from an inn. The surly waiter that always said " coming " when he was leaving the room, and never came, now grown smiling and smirk- ing; the landlord expressing a hope to see you again, 16 ARTHUR O'LEARY. while he watches your upthrown eyebrows at the exorbi- tancy of his bill ; the Boots attentively looking from your feet to your face, and back again ; the housemaid passing and repassing a dozen times on her way nowhere, with a look half saucy, half shy ; the landlord's son, an abortion of two feet high, a kind of family chief-remembrancer, that sits on a high stool in a bar, and always detects something you have had that was not "put down in the bill," — two shillings for a cab, or a "brandy and water." A curse upon them all ! This poll-tax upon travellers is utter ruin ; your bill, compared to its dependencies, is but Falstaff's " pennyworth of bread " to all the score for sack. Well, here I am at last. " Take care, I say ! you '11 upset us. Shove off. Bill ; ship your oar ! " splash, splash. " Bear a hand. What a noise they make ! " bang ! crash ! buzz ! What a crowd of men in pilot coats and caps ! women in plaid shawls and big reticules, band-boxes, bags, and babies ; and what higgling for sixpences with the wherrymen ! All the places round the companion are taken by pale ladies in black silk, with a thin man in spectacles beside them ; the deck is littered with luggage, and little groups seated thereon. Some very strange young gentlemen, with many-colored waistcoats, are going to Greenwich, and one as far as Margate ; a widow and daughters, rather prettyish girls, for Heme Bay ; a thin, bilious-looking man of about fifty, with four outside coats, and a bear-skin round his legs, reading beside the wheel, occasionally tak- ing a sly look at the new arrivals. I 've seen him before ; he is the Secretary of Embassy at Constantinople. And here 's a jolly-looking, rosy-cheeked fellow, with a fat florid face, and two dashing-looking girls in black velvet. Eh ! who 's this ? Sir Peter, the steward calls him ; a London alderman going up the Rhine for two months ; he 's got his courier, and a strong carriage, with the springs well corded for the -pave. But they come too fast for counting ; so now I '11 have a look after my berth. Alas ! the cabin has been crowded all the while by some fifty others, wrangling, scolding, laughing, joking, com- plaining, and threatening, and not a berth to be had. THE "ATTWOOD." 17 " You 've put me next the tiller," said one. " I 'm over the boiler," screamed another. " I have the pleasure of speaking to Sir Willoughby Steward," said the captain, to a tall, gray-headed, soldier- like figure, with a closely-buttoned blue frock. " Sir Willoughby, your berth is No. 8." " Eh ! that 's the way they come it," whispers a Cock- ney to his friend. " That 'ere chap gets a berth before us all." " I beg your pardon, sir," says the baronet, mildly ; " I took mine three days ago." " Oh, I didn't mean anything," stammers out the other, and sneaks off. " Laura-Mariar ! where 's Laurar ? " calls out a shrill voice from the aft-cabin. " Here, ma," replies a pretty girl, who is arranging her ringlets at a glass, much to the satisfaction of a young fellow in a braided frock, that stands gazing at her in the mirror with something very like a smile on his lip. There 's no mistaking that pair of dark-eyed fellows with aquiline noses and black ill-shaven beards, — Ham- burgh or Dutch Jews, dealers in smuggled lace, cigars, and Geneva watches, and occasionally small money- lenders. How they scan the company, as if calculating the profit they might turn them to ! The very smile they wear seems to say, "Comme c'est doux de tromper les Chretiens." But, halloa ! there was a splash ! we are moving, and the river is now more amusing than the passengers. I should like to see the man that ever saw London from the Thames, or any part of it, save the big dome of St. Paul's, the top of the Monument, or the gable of the great black wharf inscribed with " Hodgson's Pale Ale." What a devil of a row they do make ! I thought we were into that fellow. See, here 's a wherry actually under our bow. Where is she now ? Are they all lost already ? No, there they go, bobbing up and down, and looking after us, as if asking why we did n't sail over them. Ay, there comes an Indiaman ; and that little black slug that's towing her up against the stream is one of the Tug Company's craft ; and 2 18 ARTHUE O'LEARY. see how all the others at anchor keep tossing and pitching about as we pass by, like an awkward room-full of com- pany, rising at each new arrival. There 's Greenwich ! A fine thing Greenwich. I like the old fellows that the First Lord always makes stand in front, without legs or arms ; a cheery sight. And there 's a hulk, or a hospital ship, or something of that kind. " That 's the ' Hexcellent,' " said a shrill voice behind me. " Ah, I know her ; she 's a revenue cruiser." Lord ! what liars the Cockneys are ! The plot thickens every moment. Here come little bright green and gold things, shooting past like dragon-flies skimming the water, steaming down to Gravesend. What a mob of parasols cover the deck, and what kissing of hands and waving of handkerchiefs to anonymous acquaintances nowhere ! More steamers : here 's the " Boulogne boat," followed by the " Ostender," and there, rounding the reach, comes the " Ramsgate ; " and a white funnel, they say, is the Cork packet ; and yonder, with her steam escaping, is the " Edinburgh," her deck crowded with soldiers. "Port ; port it is ! Steady there, steady." " Do you dine, sir ? " quoth the steward to the pale gen- tleman. A faint "Yes." "And the ladies too?" A more audible "No." " I say, steward," cries Sir Peter, " what 's the hour for dinner ? " " Four o'clock, sir, after we pass Gravesend." " Bring me some brandy and water and a biscuit, then." " Lud, pa ! " " To be sure, dear, we shall be sick in the pool. They say there 's a head wind." How crowded they are on the fore-part of the vessel ! — six carriages and eight horses ; the latter belong to a Dutch dealer, who, by the bye, seems a shrewd fellow, and well knowing the extreme sympathy between horses and asses leaves the care of his to some Cockneys, who come down every half-hour to look after the tarpaulins, inspect the coverings, see the knee-caps safe, and ask if they want " 'ay ; " and all this, that to some others on board they may THE "ATTWOOD." 19 appear as sporting characters, well versed in turf affairs, and quite up to stable management. When the life and animation of the crowded river is passed, how vexatious it is to hear for the thousandth time the dissertations on English habits, customs, and constitu- tion, delivered by some ill-informed, under-bred fellow or other to some eager German, — a Frenchman, happily, is too self-sufficient ever to listen, — who greedily swallows the farrago of absurdity, which, according to the politics of his informant, represents the nation in a plethora of prosperity or the last stage of inevitable ruin. I scarcely know which I detest the more ; the insane toryism of the one is about as sickening as the rabid radicalism of the other. The absurd misapprehensions foreigners entertain about us are in nine cases out of ten communicated by our own people; and in this way I have always remarked a far greater degree of ignorance about England and the English to prevail among those who have passed some weeks in the country, than among such as had never vis- ited our shores. With the former, the Thames Tunnel is our national boast ; raw beef and boxing our national predi- lections ; the public sale of our wives a national practice. " But what 's this ? Our paddles are backed. Anything wrong, steward ? " " No, sir, only another passenger coming aboard." " How they pull, and there 's a stiff sea running, too ! A queer figure that is in the stern sheets; what a beard he has ! " I had just time for the observation, when a tall, athletic man, wrapped in a wide blue cloak, sprang on the deck. His eyes were shaded by large green spectacles and the broad brim of a very projecting hat ; a black beard a rabbi might have envied, descended from his chin, and hung down upon his bosom ; he chucked a crown-piece to the boatman as he leaned over the bulwark, and then turning to the steward, called out, — " Eh, Jem ! all right ? " "Yes, sir, all right," said the man, touching his hat respectfully. The tall figure immediately disappeared down the com- 20 ARTHUR O'LEARY. panion ladder, leaving me in the most puzzling state of doubt as to what manner of man he could possibly be. Had the problem been more easy of solution I should scarcely have resolved it when he again emerged, — but how changed ! The broad beaver had given place to a blue cloth foraging-cap with a gold band around it; the beard had disappeared totally, and left no successor save a well- rounded chin ; the spectacles also had vanished, and a pair of sharp, intelligent gray eyes, with a most uncommon degree of knowingness in their expression, shone forth ; and a thin and most accurately curled mustache graced his upper lip, and gave a character of Vandykism to his fea- tures, which were really handsome. In person he was some six feet two, gracefully but strongly built; his costume, without anything approaching conceit, was the perfection of fashionable attire, — even to his gloves there was noth- ing which D'Orsay could have criticized ; while his walk was the very type of that mode of progression which is only learned thoroughly by a daily stroll down St. James Street, and the frequent practice of passing to and from Crockford's, at all hours of the day and night. The expression of his features was something so striking I could not help noting it. There was a jauntiness, an ease, no-smirking, half-bred, self-satisfied look, such as a London linen-draper might wear on his trip to Margate; but a consummate sense of his own personal attractions and great natural advantages had given a character to his features which seemed to say, " It 's quite clear there 's no coming up to me; don't try it, — nascitur non fit." His very voice implied it. The veriest commonplace fell from him with a look, a smile, a gesture, a something or other that made it tell ; and men repeated his sayings without knowing that his was a liquor that was lost in decanting. The way in which he scanned the passengers — and it was done in a second — was the practised observance of one who reads character at a glance. Over the Cockneys, and they were, numerous, his eyes merely passed without bestowing any portion of attention ; while to the lady part of the company his look was one of triumphant satisfaction, such as Louis XIV. might have bestowed when he gazed at THE "ATTWOOD." 21 the thousands in the garden of Versailles, and exclaimed, "Oui ! ce sont mes sujets." Such was the Honorable Jack Smallbranes, younger son of a peer, ex-captain in the Life Guards, winner of the Derby, but now the cleared-out man of fashion flying to the Continent to escape from the Fleet, and cautiously coming aboard in disguise below Gravesend, to escape the bore of a bailiff, aud what he called the horror of bills " detested." We read a great deal about Cincinnatus cultivating his cabbages, and we hear of Washington's retirement when the active period of his career had passed over ; and a hundred similar instances are quoted for our admiration of men who could throw themselves at once from all the whirlwind excitement of great events, and seek in the humblest and least obtrusive position an occupation and an enjoyment. But I doubt very much if your ex-man of fashion, your ci-devant winner of the Derby, the adored of Almack's, the enfant cheri of Crockford's and the Claren- don, whose equipage was a model, whose plate was perfec- tion, for whom life seemed too short for all the fascinations wealth spread around him, and each day brought the one embarrassment how to enjoy enough, — I repeat it, I doubt much if he, when the hour of his abdication arrives (and that it will arrive sooner or later not even himself enter- tains a doubt), when Holditch protests, and Bevan pro- ceeds ; when steeds are sold at Tattersall's and pictures at Christie's ; when the hounds pass over to the next new victim, and the favorite for the St. Leger, backed with mighty odds, is now entered under another name ; when in lieu of the bright eyes and honied words that make life a fairy tale, his genii are black-whiskered bailiffs and auc- tioneers' appraisers, — if he, when the tide of fortune sets in so strong against him, can not only sustain himself for a while against it, and when too powerful at last, can lie upon the current and float as gayly down, as ever he did joyously up, the stream, — then, say I, all your ancient and modern instances are far below him. All your warriors and statesmen are but poor pretenders compared to him : they have retired like rich shop-keepers, to live on the in- terest of their fortune, which is fame ; while he, deprived 22 ARTHUR O'LEARY. of all the accessories which gave him rank, place, and power, must seek within his own resources for all the future springs of his pleasure, and be satisfied to stand spectator of the game in which he was once the principal player. A most admirable specimen of this philosophy was pre- sented by our new passenger, who, as he lounged against the binnacle and took a deliberate survey of his fellow- travellers, formed the very ideal of unbroken ease and un- disturbed enjoyment. He knew he was ruined; he knew he had neither house in town or country; neither a steed nor a yacht nor a preserve ; he was fully aware that Storr and Mortimer, who but yesterday would have given him a mountain of silver, would not trust him with a mustard-pot to-day ; that even the " legs " would laugh at him if he offered the odds on the Derby ; and yet if you were bound on oath to select the happiest fellow on board, by the testi- mony of your eyes, the choice would not have taken you five minutes. His attitude was ease itself ; his legs slightly crossed, perhaps the better to exhibit a very well-rounded instep, which shone forth in all the splendor of French varnish ; his travelling- cap jauntily thrown on one side so as to display to better advantage his perfumed locks, that floated in a graceful manner somewhat lengthily on his neck ; the shawl around his neck having so much of negli- gence as to show that the splendid enamel pin that fastened it was a thing of little moment to the wearer. All were in keeping with the nonchalant ease and self-satisfaction of his look, as with hb,lf-drooping lids he surveyed the deck, caressing with his jewelled fingers the silky line of his mustache, and evidently enjoying in his inmost soul the triumphant scene of conquest his very appearance excited. Indeed, a less practised observer than himself could not fail to remark the unequivocal evidences the lady portion of the community bore to his success. The old ones looked boldly at him with that fearless intrepidity that character- izes conscious security ; their property was insured, and they cared not how near the fire came to them. The very young participated in the sentiment from an opposite rea- son ; theirs was the unconsciousness of danger. But there was a middle term, what Balzac calls la femme de trente THE "ATTWOOD." 23 ans ; " and she either looked over the bulwarks, or at the funnel, or on her book, anywhere in short but at our friend, who appeared to watch this studied denial on her part with the same kind of enjoyment the captain of a frigate would contemplate the destruction his broadsides were making on his enemy's rigging ; and perhaps the latter never deemed his conquest more assured by the hauling down of the enemy's colors than did the Honorable Jack when a let- down veil convinced him that the lady could bear no more. I should like to have watched the proceedings on deck, where, although no acquaintance had yet been formed, the indications of such were clearly visible. The alderman's daughters evincing a decided preference for walking on that side where Jack was standing, — he studiously per- forming some small act of courtesy from time to time as they passed, removing a seat, kicking any small fragment of rope, etc. ; but the motion of the packet warned me that note-taking was at an end, and the best thing I could do would be to " compose " myself. " What 's the number, sir ? " said the steward, as I stag- gered down the companion. " I have got no berth," said I, mournfully. "A dark horse, not placed," said the Honorable Jack, smiling pleasantljr as he looked after me, while I threw myself on a sofa, and cursed the sea. CHAPTER II. THE PASSPORT. A PERILOUS ADVENTURE. MINE HOST OF THE BOAr'S HEAD. If the noise and bustle which attend a wedding, like trumpets in a battle, are intended as provisions against reflection, so firmly do I feel that the tortures of sea-sick- ness are meant as antagonists to all the terrors of drown- ing and all the horrors of shipwreck. Let him who has felt the agonies of that internal earth- quake which the " pitch and toss " motion of a ship com- municates, who knows what it is to have his diaphragm vibrating between his ribs and the back of his throat, con- fess how little to him was all the confusion which he lis- tened to overhead, how poor the interest he took in the welfare of the craft wherein he was " only a lodger," and how narrowed were all his sympathies within the small circle of bottled porter and brandy and water, the steward's infallibles in suffering. I lay in my narrow crib, moodily pondering over these things ; now wondering within myself what charms of travel could recompense such agonies as these ; now mut- tering a curse, " not loud, but deep," on the heavy gentle- man whose ponderous tread on the quarter-deck seemed to promenade up and down the surface of my own pericra- nium. The greasy steward, the jolly captain, the brown- faced, black-whiskered king's messenger, who snored away on the sofa, all came in for a share of my maledictions, and I took out my cares in curses upon the whole party. Meanwhile I could distinguish, amid the other sounds, the elastic tread of certain light feet that pattered upon the quarter-deck ; and I could not mistake the assured footstep which accompanied them ; nor did I need the happy roar of laughter that mixed with the noise to satisfy myself THE PASSPORT. 26 that the Honorable Jack was then cultivating the alder- man's daughters, discoursing most eloquently upon the fascinations of those exclusive circles wherein he was wont to move, and explaining, on the clearest principles, what a frightful chasm his absence must create in the Lon- don world, — how deplorably fiat the season would go oif, where he was no actor, — and wondering who among the aspirants of high ambition would venture to assume his line of character and supply his place, either on the turf or at the table. But at length the stage of semi-stupor came over me ; the noises became commixed in my head, and I lost all consciousness so completely, that, whether from brandy or sickness, I fancied I saw the steward flirting with the ladies, and the Honorable Jack skipping about with a white apron, uncorking porter bottles, and changing sixpences. The same effect which the announcement of dinner pro- duces on the stiff party in the drawing-room is caused by the information of being alongside the quay, to the passen- gers of a packet. It is true the procession is not so formal in the latter as in the former case. The turbaned dowagers that take the lead in one would more than probably be last in the other; but what is lost in decorum is more than made up in hilarity. What hunting for carpet-bags ! what opening and shutting of lockers ! what researches into portmanteaus to extricate certain seizable commodities and stow them away upon the pet-son of the owner, till at last he becomes an impersonation of smuggling, with lace in his boots, silk stockings in his hat, brandy under his waist- coat, and jewelry in the folds of his cravat ! There is not an item in the tariff that might not be demonstrated in his anatomy. From his shoes to his night-cap, he is a living sarcasm upon the revenue. And, after all, what is the searching scrutiny of your Quarterly Eeviewer to the all- penetrating eye of an excise officer ! He seems to look into the whole contents of your wardrobe before you have unlocked the trunk " warranted solid leather," and with a glance appears to distinguish the true man from the knave, knowing, as if by intuition, the precise number of cambric 26 ARTHUR O'LEARY. handkerchiefs that befit your condition in life, and whether you have transgressed the bounds of your station by a single bottle of Eau-de-Cologne. What admirable training for a novelist would a year or two spent in such duties afford! what singular views of life, what strange people must he see ! how much of narrative would even the narrow limits of a hat-box pre- sent to him ; and how naturally would a story spring from the rosy-cheeked old gentleman, paying his duty upon a pate de foie gras to his pretty daughter, endeavoring by a smile to diminish the tariff on her French bonnet, and actually captivate a custom-house officer by the charms of her robe a la Victorine. The French douaniers are droll fellows, and are the only ones I have ever met who descend from the important gravity of their profession, and venture upon a joke. I shall never forget entering Valenciennes late one night, with a large " diligence " party, among which was a corpu- lent countryman of my own, making his first Continental tour. It was in those days when a passport presented a written portrait of the bearer ; when the shape of your nose, the color of your hair, the cut of your beard, and the angle of incidence of your eyebrow were all noted down and commented on, and a general summing-up of the expression of your features collectively appended to the whole ; and you went forth to the world with an air " mild " or " military," " feeble," " fascinating," or " fero- cious," exactly as the Foreign Office chose. It was in those days, I say, when on entering the fortress of Valen- ciennes the door of the diligence was rudely thrown open, and by the dim flicker of a lamp we beheld a mustached, stern-looking fellow, who rudely demanded our passports. My fat companion, suddenly awakened from his sleep, searched his various pockets with all the trepidation of a new traveller, and at length produced his credentials, which he handed, with a polite bow, to the official. What- ever the nature of the description might have been I can- not say, but it certainly produced the most striking effect on the passport officers, who laughed loud and long as they read it over. A PERILOUS ADVENTURE. 27 " Descendez, Monsieur," said the chief of the party, in a tone of stern command. " What does he say ? " said the traveller, in a very decided western accent. " You must get out, sir," said I. " Tare-and-ages," said Mr. Moriarty, " what 's wrong ? " After considerable squeezing, for he weighed about twenty stone, he disengaged himself from the body of the diligence, and stood erect upon the ground. A second lantern was now produced, and while one of the officers stood on either side of him, with a light beside his face, a third read out the clauses of the passport, and compared the description with the original. Happily Mr. Moriarty's ignorance of French saved him from the penalty of lis- tening to the comments which were passed upon his nez retrousse, hoiiche ouverte, etc. ; but what was his surprise, when, producing some yards of tape, they proceeded to measure him round the bodyj comparing the number of inches his circumference made with the passport. " Quatre-vingt-dix pouces," said the measurer, looking at the document. " II en a plus," added he, rudely. " What is he saying, sir, if I might be so bowld ? " said Mr. Moriarty to me, imploringly. " You measure more than is set down in your passport," said I, endeavoring to suppress my laughter. " Oh, murther ! that dish of boiled beef and beet-root will be the ruin of me. Tell them, sir, I was like a gray- hound before supper." As he said this, he held in his breath, and endeavored with all his might to diminish his size ; while the French- men, as if anxious to strain a point in his favor, tightened the cord round him, till he almost became black in the face. "C'est qa," said one of the officers, smiling blandly as he took off his hat ; " Monsieur peut continuer sa route." "All right," said I; "you may come in, Mr. Moriarty." " 'T is civil people I always heard they wor," said he ; " but it 's a sthrange country where it 's against the laws to grow fatter." I like Holland. It is the antipodes of France. No one 28 ARTHUR O'LEARY. is ever in a hurry here. Life moves on in a slow majestic stream, — a little muddy and stagnant, perhaps, like one of their own canals, but you see no waves, no breakers ; not an eddy, nor even a froth-bubble breaks the surface. Even a Dutch child, as he steals along to school smoking his short pipe, has a mock air of thought about him. The great fat horses that wag along, trailing behind them some petty, insignificant truck, loaded with a little cask not bigger than a Life Guardsman's helmet, look as though Erasmus was performing duty as a quadruped, and walk- ing about his own native city in harness. It must be a glorious country to be born in. No one is ever in a pas- sion ; and as to honesty, who has energy enough to turn robber ? The eloquence which in other lands might wind a man from his allegiance, would be tried in vain here. Ten minutes' talking would set any audience asleep, from Zetland to Antwerp. Smoking, beer-drinking, stupefying, and domino-playing go on in summer, before, in winter within, the cafes ; and every broad flat face you look upon, with its watery eyes and muddy complexion, seems like a colored chart of the country that gave it birth. How all the industry that has enriched them is ever performed, how all the cleanliness for which their houses are conspicuous is ever effected, no one can tell. Who ever saw a Dutchman labor ? Everything in Holland seems typified by one of their own drawbridges, which rises as a boat approaches, by invisible agency, and then remains patiently aloft till a sufficiency of passengers arrives to restore it to its place ; and Dutch gravity seems the grand centre of all prosperity. When, therefore, my fellow-passengers stormed and swore because they were not permitted to land their lug- gage ; when they heard that until nine o'clock the follow- ing morning no one would be astir to examine it ; and that the Ehine steamer sailed at eight, and would not sail again for three days more, and cursed the louder thereat, — I chuckled to myself that I was going nowhere, that I cared not how long I waited nor where, and began to believe that something of very exalted philosophy must have been A PERILOUS ADVENTURE. 29 infused into my nature without my ever being aware of it. For twenty minutes and more, Sir Peter abused the Dutch ; he called them hard names in English, and some very strong epithets in bad French. Meanwhile, his cou- rier busied himself in preparations for departure, and the Honorable Jack undertook to shawl the young ladies, — a performance which, whether from the darkness of the night or the intricacy of the mufia.ing, took a most unmer- ciful time to accomplish. "We shall never find the hotel at this hour," said Sir Peter, angrily. "The house will certainly be closed," chimed in the young ladies. "Take your five to two on the double event," replied Jack, slapping the alderman on the shoulder, and prepar- ing to book the wager. I did not wait to see it accepted, but stepped over the side, and trudged along the Boomjes, that long quay, with its tall elm trees, under whose shade man}' a burgomaster has strolled at eve, musing over the profits which his last venture from Batavia was to realize ; and then, having crossed the narrow bridge at the end, I traversed the Erasmus Platz, and rang boldly, as an old acquaintance has a right to do, at the closed door of the Schwein Kopf. My summons was not long unanswered, and following the many-petticoated handmaiden along the well-sanded pas- sage, I asked, " Is the Holbein chamber unoccupied ? " while I drew forth a florin from my purse. "Ah, Mynheer knows it, then," said she, smiling. "It is at your service. We have had no travellers for some days past, and you are aware that unless we are greatly crowded we never open it." This I knew well; and having assured her that I was an habitue of the Schwein Kopf in times long past, I persuaded her to fetch some dry wood and make me a cheerful fire, which, with a " krug of schiedam " and some " canastre," made me happy as a king. The Holbeiner Kammer owes its name and any repute that it enjoys to a strange, quaint portrait of that master seated 30 ARTHUR O'LEARY. at a fire, with a fair-headed, handsome child sitting cross- legged on the hearth before him. A certain half-resem- blance seems to run through both faces, although the age and coloring are so different. But the same contemplative expression, the deep-set eye, the massive forehead and pointed chin, are to be seen in the child as in the man. This was Holbein and his nephew, Franz von Holbein, who in after years served with distinction in the army of Louis XIV. The background of the picture represents a room exactly like the chamber, — a few highly-carved oak chairs, the Utrecht-velvet backs glowing with their scarlet brilliancy ; an old-fashioned Flemish bed, with groups of angels, Neptunes, bacchanals, and dolphins all mixed up confusedly in quaint carving; and a massive frame to a very small looking-glass, which hung in a leaning attitude over the fireplace, and made me think, as I gazed at it, that the plane of the room was on an angle of sixty-five, and that the least shove would send me clean into the stove. " Mynheer wants nothing ? " said the Vrow with a curtsey. " Nothing," said I, with my most polite bow. " Good night, then," said she ; " schlaf wohl, and don't mind the ghost." " Ah, I know him of old," replied I, striking the table three times with my cane. The woman, whose voice the moment before was in a tone of jest, suddenly grew pale, and as she crossed herself devoutly muttered, " Nein ! nein ! don't do that ! " and shutting the door, hurried downstairs with all the speed she could muster. I was in no hurry to go to bed, however. The krug was racy, the canastre excellent; so, placing the light where its rays might fall with good effect on the Holbein, I stretched out my legs to the blaze, and as I looked upon the canvas, began to muse over the story with which it was associated, and which I may as well jot down here for the reader's sake. Frank Holbein, having more ambition and less industry than the rest of the family, resolved to seek his fortune ; and early in the September of the year 1681 he found A PERILOUS ADVENTURE. 31 himself wandering in the streets of Paris, without a Hard in his pocket, or any prospects of earning one. He was a tine-looking, handsome youth, of some eighteen or twenty years, with that Spanish cast of face for which so many Dutch families are remarkable. He sat down, weary and hungry, on one of the benches of the Pont de la Cite, and looked about him wistfully, to see what piece of fortune might come to his succor. A loud shout, and the noise of people hastening in every direction, attracted him. He jumped up and saw persons running hither and thither to escape from a caliche which a pair of runaway horses were tearing along at a frightful rate. Frank blessed himself, threw off his cloak, pressed his cap firmly upon his brow, and dashed forward. The affrighted animals slackened their speed as he stood before them, and endeav- ored to pass by ; but he sprang to their heads, and with one vigorous plunge grasped the bridle. Though he held on manfully, they continued their way ; and notwith- standing his every effort their mad speed scarcely felt his weight, as he was dragged along beside them. With one tremendous effort, however, he wrested the near horse's head from the pole, and thus compelling him to cross his forelegs the animal tripped, and came headlong to the ground with a smash that sent poor Prank spinning some twenty yards before them. Frank soon got up again ; and though his forehead was bleeding and his hand se- verely cut, his greatest grief was his torn doublet, which, threadbare before, now hung around him in ribbons. " It was you who stopped them ? Are you hurt ? " said a tall, handsome man, plainly but well dressed, and in whose face the trace of agitation was clearly marked. " Yes, sir," said Frank, bowing respectfully. " I did it ; and see how my poor doublet has suffered ! " " Nothing worse than that ? " said the other, smiling blandly. "Well, well, that is not of so much moment. Take this," said he, handing him his purse ; " buy yourself a new doublet, and wait on me to-morrow by eleven." With these words the stranger disappeared in a caliche, which seemed to arrive at the moment, leaving Frank in a state of wonderment at the whole adventure. 32 ARTHUR O'LEARY. "How droll he should never have told me where he lives ! " said he, aloud, as the bystanders crowded about him, and showered questions upon him. " It is Monsieur le Ministre, man, — M. de Louvois him- self, — whose life you 've saved. Your fortuue is made for- ever." The speech was a true one. Before three months from that eventful day, M. de Louvois, who had observed and noted down certain traits of acuteness in Frank's character, sent for him to his bureau. " Holbein," said he, " I have seldom been deceived in my opinion of men. You can be secret, I think ? " Frank placed his hand upon his breast, and bowed in silence. " Take the dress you will find on that chair ; a carriage is now ready, waiting in the courtyard; get into it, and set out for Bale. On your arrival there, which will be — mark me well — about eight o'clock on the morning of Thursday, you '11 leave the carriage and send it into the town, while you must station yourself on the bridge over the Rhine, and take an exact note of everything that oc- curs and every one that passes, till the cathedral clock strikes three. Then the caliche will be in readiness for your return ; and lose not a moment in repairing to Paris." It was an hour beyond midnight, in the early part of the following week, that a caleche, travel-stained and dirty, drove into the court of the minister's hotel, and five min- utes after, Frank, wearied and exhausted, was ushered into M. de Louvois' presence. " Well, Monsieur," said he, impatiently, " what have you seen ? " "This, may it please your Excellency," said Frank, trembling, " is a note of it ; but I am ashamed that so trivial an account — " " Let us see, let us see," said the minister. " In good truth, I dare scarcely venture to read such a puerile detail." " Bead it at once. Monsieur," was the stern command. Frank's face became deep-red with shame, as he began thus : — A PERILOUS ADVENTURE. 33 " Nine o'clock. — I see an ass coming along, with a child leading him. The ass is blind of one eye. — A fat German sits on the bal- cony, and is spitting into the Rhine. " Ten. — A livery servant from Bale rides by, with a basket. An old peasant in a yellow doublet — " "Ah, what of him?" " Nothing remarkable, save that he leans over the rails and strikes three blows with his stick upon them." " Enough, enough," said M. de Louvois, gayly. " I must awake the king at once." The minister disappeared, leaving Frank in a state of bewilderment. In less than a quarter of an hour he en- tered the chamber, his face covered with smiles. "Monsieur," said he, "you have rendered his Majesty good service. Here is your brevet of colonel. The king has this instant signed it." In eight days after was the news known in Paris that Strasburg, then invested by the French army, had capitu- lated, and been reunited to the kingdom, — the three strokes of the cane being the signal which announced the success of the secret negotiation between the ministers of Louis XIV. and the magistrates of Strasburg. This was the Franz Holbein of the picture, and if the three coups de baton are not attributable to his ghost, I can only say I am totally at a loss to tell where they should be charged. For my own part, I ought to add that I never heard them, — conduct which I take it was the more un- gracious on the ghost's part, as I finished the schiedam, and passed my night on the hearth-rug, leaving the feather bed with its down coverlet quite at Master Frank's disposal. Although the Schwein Kopf stands in one of the most prominent squares of Rotterdam, and nearly opposite the statue of Erasmus, it is comparatively little known to Eng- lish travellers. The fashionable hotels which are near the quay anticipate the claims of this more primitive house; and yet to any one desirous of observing the ordinary rou- tine of a Dutch family, it is well worth a visit. The buxom vrows who trudge about with short but voluminous petti- coats, their heads ornamented by those gold or silver cir- 3 34 ARTHUR O'LEARY. clets which no Dutch peasant seems ever to lack, are exactly the very types of what you see in an Ostade or a Teniers. The very host himself, old Hoogendorp, is a study. Scarcely five feet in height, he might measure nearly nine in circumference, and in case of emergency could be used as a sluice-gate should anything happen to the dykes. Jle was . never to be seen before one o'clock in the day, but lixactly as the clock tolled that hour, the massive soup- tureen, announcing the commencement of the table d'hote, was borne in state before him, while with " solemn step and slow," ladle in hand, and napkin round his neck, he followed after. His conduct at table was a fine specimen of Dutch independence of character; he never thought of bestowing those petty attentions which might cultivate the good-will of his guests ; he spoke a little, ■ he smiled never ; a short nod of recognition bestowed upon a towns- man was about the extent of royal favor he was ever known to confer ; or occasionally, when any remark made near him seemed to excite his approbation, a significant grunt of approval ratified the wisdom of the speech, and made a Solon of the speaker. His ladle descended into the soup, and emerged therefrom with the ponderous regularity of a crane into the hold of a ship. Every function of the table was performed with an unbroken monotony, and never, in the course of his forty years' sovereignty, was he known to distribute an undue quantity of fat, or an unseemly proportion of beet-root sauce, to any one guest in prefer- ence to another. The tahle d'Jiote, which began at one, concluded a little before three, during which time our host, when not helping others, was busily occupied in helping himself; and it was truly amazing to witness the steady perseverance with which he waded through every dish, making himself master in all its details of every portion of the dinner, from the greasy soup to that acme of Dutch epicurism, — Utrecht cheese. About a quarter before three, the long dinner drew to its conclusion. Many of the guests, indeed, had disap- peared long before that time, and were deep in all their wonted occupations of timber, tobacco, and train-oil. A few, however, lingered on to the last: a burly major of MINE HOST OF THE BOAR'S HEAD. 35 infantry, who unbuttoning his undress frock towards the close of the feast would sit smoking and sipping his coffee as if unwilling to desert the field, a grave long-haired pro- fessor, and perhaps an officer of the excise waiting for the re-opening of the custom-house, would form the company. But even these dropped oS at last, and with a deep bow to mine host passed away to their homes or their haunts. Meanwhile the waiters hurried hither and thither, the cloth was removed, in its place a fresh one was spread, and all the preliminaries for a new dinner were set about with the same activity as before. The napkins enclosed in their little horn cases, the decanters of beer, the small dishes of preserved fruit, without which no Dutchman dines, were all set forth, and the host, without stirring from his seat, sat watching the preparations with calm complacency. Were you to note him narrowly, you could perceive that his eyes alternately opened and shut, as if relieving guard, save which he gave no other sign of life ; nor even at last, when the mighty stroke of three rang out from the cathe- dral, and the hurrying sound of many feet proclaimed the arrival of the guests of the second table, did he ever ex- hibit the slightest show or mark of attention, but sat calm and still and motionless. For the next two hours it was merely a repetition of the performance which preceded it, in which the host's part was played with untiring energy, and all the items of soup, fish, bouilli, fowl, pork, and vegetables had not to complain of any inattention to their merits, or any undue preference for their predecessors of an hour before. If the traveller was astonished at his appetite during the first table, what would he say to his feats at the second ! As for myself, I honestly confess I thought that some harlequin-trick was concerned, and that mine host of the Schwein Kopf was not a real man, but some mechanical contrivance by which, with a trap-door below him, a certain portion of the dinner was conveyed to the apartments beneath. I lived, however, to discover my error; and after four visits to Eotterdam, I was at length so far distinguished as actually to receive an invitation to pass an evening with Mynheer in his own private den, which, I need scarcely say, I gladly accepted. 36 AETHUR OXEARY. I have a note of that evening somewhere — ay, here it is : — "Mynheer is waiting supper," said a waiter to me, as I sat smoking my cigar one calm evening in autumn in the porch of the Schwein Kopf. I followed the man through a long passage, which, leading to the kitchen, emerged on the opposite side, and conducted us through a little garden to a small summer-house. The building, which was of wood, was painted in gaudy stripes of red, blue, and yel- low, and made in some sort to resemble those Chinese pagodas we see upon a saucer. Its situation was con- ceived in the most perfect Dutch taste. One side, flanked by the little garden of which I have spoken, displayed a rich bed of tulips and ranunculuses, in all the gorgeous luxuriance of perfect culture, — it was a mass of blended beauty and perfume superior to anything I have ever wit- nessed; on the other flank lay the sluggish, green-coated surface of a Dutch canal, from which rose the noxious vapors of a hot evening and the harsh croakings of ten thousand frogs, "fat, gorbellied knaves," the very burgo- masters of their race, who squatted along the banks, and who, except for the want of pipes, might have been mis- taken for small Dutchmen enjoying an evening's prome- nade. This building was denominated "Lust und Rust," which in letters of gold was displayed on something resem- bling a sign-board above the door, and intimated to the traveller that the temple was dedicated to pleasure and contentment. To a Dutchman, however, the sight of the portly figure who sat smoking at the open window was a far more intelligible illustration of the objects of the build- ing than any lettered inscription. jMynheer Hoogendorp, with his long Dutch pipe, and tall flagon with its shining brass lid, looked the concentrated essence of a Hollander, and might have been hung out as a sign of the country from the steeple of Haarlem. The interior was in perfect keeping with the designation of the building. Every appliance that could suggest ease, if not sleep, was there. The chairs were deep, plethoric- looking Dutch chairs, that seemed as if they had led a sedentary life, and throve upon it; the table was a short thick-legged one, of dark oak, whose polished surface MINE HOST OF THE BOAR'S HEAD. 37 reflected the tall brass cups and the ample features of Mynheer, and seemed to hobnob with him when he lifted the capacious vessel to his lips ; the walls were decorated with quaint pipes, whose large porcelain bowls bespoke them of home origin, and here and there a sea-fight, with a Dutch three-decker hurling destruction on the enemy. But the genius of the place was its owner, who in a low fur cap and slippers, whose shape and size might have drawn tears of envy from the Ballast Board, sat gazing upon the ca- nal in a state of Dutch rapture, very like apoplexy. He motioned me to a chair without speaking; he directed me to a pipe, by a long whiff of smoke from his own ; he grunted out a welcome, and then, as if overcome by such unaccus- tomed exertion, he lay back in his chair, and sighed deeply. We smoked till the sun went down, and a thicker haze, rising from the stagnant ditch, joined with the tobacco vapor, made an atmosphere like mud reduced to gas. Through the mist I saw a vision of soup-tureens, hot meat, and smoking vegetables. I beheld as though Myn- heer moved among the condiments, and I have a faint dreamy recollection of his performing some feat before me, — but whether it was carving, or the sword exercise, I won't be positive. Kow, though the schiedam was strong, a spell was upon me, and I could not speak ; the great green eyes that glared on me through the haze seemed to chill my very soul ; and I drank, out of desperation, the deeper. As the evening wore on, I waxed bolder; I had looked upon the Dutchman so long that my awe of him began to subside, and I at last grew bold enough to address him. I remember well that it was pretty much with that kind of energy, that semi- desperation, with which a man nerves himself to accost a spectre, that I ventured on addressing him. How or in what terms I did it. Heaven knows! Some trite every-day observation about his great knowledge of life, his wonder- ful experience of the world, was all I could muster; and when I had made it, the sound of my own voice terrified me so much that I finished the can at a draught, to reani- mate my courage. " Ja, Ja ! " said "Van Hoogendorp, in a cadence as solemn as the bell of the cathedral; "I have seen many strange 38 ARTHUR OXEARY. things; I remember what few men living can remember. I mind well the time when the ' HoUandische Vrow ' made her first voyage from Batavia, and brought back a paroquet for the burgomaster's wife. The great trees upon the Boomjes were but saplings when I was a boy; they were not thicker than my waist," — here he looked down upon himself with as much complacency as though he were a sylph. " Ach Gott ! they were brave times ; schiedam cost only half a guilder the krug." I waited in hopes he would continue, but the glorious retrospect he had evoked seemed to occupy all his thoughts, and he smoked away without ceasing. "You remember the Austrians, then?" said I, byway of drawing him on. "They were dogs," said he, spitting out. " Ah, " said I, " the French were better, then ? " "Wolves!" ejaculated he, after glowering on me fearfully. There was a long pause after this; I perceived that I had taken a wrong path to lead him into conversation, and he was too deeply overcome with indignation to speak. During this time, however, his anger took a thirsty form, and he swigged away at the schiedam most manfully. The effect of his libations became at last evident; his great green stagnant eyes flashed and flared, his wide nostrils swelled and contracted, and his breathing became short and thick, like the convulsive sobs of a steam-engine when they open and shut the valves alternately. T watched these indications for some time, wondering what they might portend, when at length he withdrew his pipe from his mouth, and with such a tone of voice as he might have used if confessing a bloody and atrocious murder, he said, — "I will tell you a story." Had the great stone figure of Erasmus beckoned to me across the market-place, and asked me the news "on Change," I could not have been more amazed; and not venturing on the slightest interruption, I refilled my pipe, and nodded sententiously across the table, while he thus began. CHAPTEK III. MINE host's tale. " It was in the winter of the year 1806, the first week of December; the frost was setting in, and I resolved to pay a visit to my brother, whom I had n't seen for forty years : he was burgomaster of Antwerp. It is a long voyage and a perilous one, but with the protection of Providence our provisions held out ; and on the fourth night after we sailed, a violent shock shook the vessel from stem to stern, and we found ourselves against the quay of Antwerp. "When I reached my brother's house I found him in bed, sick; the doctors said it was a dropsy. I don't know how that might be, for he drank more gin than any man in Holland, and hated water all his life. We were twins; but no one would have thought so, I looked so thin and meagre beside him. " Well, as I was there, I resolved to see the sights of the town; and the next morning, after breakfast, I set out by myself, and wandered about till evening. Now, there were many things to see, — very strange things too. The noise and the din and the bustle addled and confused me; the people were running here and there, shouting as if they were mad, and there were great flags hanging out of the windows, and drums beating; and, stranger than all, I saw little soldiers with red breeches and red shoulder-knots, running about like monkeys. " ' What is all this ? ' said I, to a man near me. " ' Methinks, ' said he, ' the burgomaster himself might well know what it is.' " ' I am not the burgomaster, ' quoth I ; ' I am his brother, and only came from Eotterdam yesterday.' "'Ah, then,' said another, with a strange grin, ' yoa didn't know these preparations were meant to welcome your arrival ? ' 40 ARTHUR O'LEAKY. " ' No, ' said I ; ' but they are very fine, and if there were not so much noise I should like them well. ' "And so I sauntered on till I came to the great Platz, opposite the cathedral. That was a fine place ; there was a large man carved in cheese over one door, very wonder- ful to see; and there was a big fish, all gilt, where they sold herrings. But in the town-hall there seemed some- thing more than usual going on, for great crowds were there, and dragoons were galloping in and galloping out, and all was confusion. " ' What 's this ? ' said I. 'Are the dykes open ? ' "But not one would mind me; and then suddenly I heard some one call out my name. "'Where is Van Hoogendorp? ' said one; and then another cried, ' Where is Van Hoogendorp ? ' " ' Here I am, ' said I ; and at the same moment two oificers, covered with gold lace, came through the crowd, and took me by the arms. " ' Come along with us, Monsieur de Hoogendorp, ' said they, in French, — ' there is not a moment to lose ; we have been looking for you everywhere.' "Now, though I understand that tongue, I cannot speak it myself; so I only said ' Ja, Ja, ' and followed them. "They led me up an oak stair, and through three or four large rooms crowded with officers in fine uniforms, who all bowed as I passed; and some one went before us, calling out in a loud voice, ' Monsieur de Hoogendorp ! ' '"This is too much honor,' said I, 'far too much;' but as I spoke in Dutch, no one minded me. Suddenly, however, the wide folding-doors were flung open, and we were ushered into a large hall, where, althovigh above a hundred people were assembled, you might have heard a pin drop; the few who spoke at all did so only in whispers. "' Monsieur de Hoogendorp! ' shouted the man again. " ' For shame ! ' said I ; ' don't disturb the company ; ' and I thought some of them laughed, but he only bawled the louder, ' Monsieur de Hoogendorp ! ' " ' Let him approach, ' said a quick, sharp voice, from the fireplace. MINE HOST'S TALE. 41 "'Ah,' thought I, ' they are going to read me an address. I trust it may be in Dutch. ' " They led me along in silence to the fire, before which, with his back turned towards it, stood a short man, with a sallow, stern countenance, and a great broad forehead, his hair combed straight over it. He wore a green coat with white facings, and over that a gray surtout trimmed with fur. I am particular about all this, because this little man was a person of consequence. " ' You are late. Monsieur de Hoogendorp, ' said he, in French; 'it is half -past four;' and so saying, he pulled out his watch, and held it up before me. " * Ja, ' said I, taking out my own, ' we are just the same time. ' "At this he stamped upon the ground, and said some- thing I thought was a curse. '" Where are the echevins, Monsieur ? ' said he. " ' God knows, ' said I ; ' most probably at dinner. ' "'Ventre bleu! — ' " ' Don't swear,' said I. ' If I had you in Eotterdam, I 'd fine you two guilders.' " ' What does he say ? ' while his eyes flashed fire. ' Tell la grande morue to speak French.' " ' Tell him I am not a cod-fish, ' said I. " ' Who speaks Dutch here ? ' said he. ' General de Eitter, ask him where are the echevins, or is the man a fool?' " ' I have heard, ' said the General, bowing obsequiously, — 'I have heard, your Majesty, that he is little better.' "' Tonnerre de Dieu! ' said he; ' and this is their chief magistrate! Marat, you must look to this to-morrow. And as it grows late now, let us see the citadel at once; he can show us the way thither, I suppose; ' and with this he moved forward, followed by the rest, among whom I found myself hurried along, no one any longer paying me the slightest respect or attention. " ' To the citadel ! ' said one. " ' To the citadel ! ' cried another. "'Come, Hoogendorp, lead the way!' cried several together; and so they pushed me to the front, and not- withstanding all I said that I did not know the citadel 42 ARTHUR O'LEARY. from the Dome Church, they would listen to nothing, but only called the louder, ' Step out, old Grande culotte ! ' and hurried me down the street at the pace of a boar-hunt. "'Lead on!' cried one. ' To the front! ' said another. ' Step out ! ' roared three or four together ; and I found myself at the head of the procession, without the power to explain or confess my ignorance. '"As sure as my name is Peter van Hoogendorp, I'll give you all a devil's dance,' said I to myself; and with that I grasped my staff, and set out as fast as I was able. Down one narrow street we went, and up another; some- times we got into a cul-de-sac, where there was no exit, and had to turn back again; another time we would ascend a huge flight of steps, and come plump into a tanner's yard, or a place where they were curing iish. And so we blun- dered on, till there was n't a blind alley or crooked lane of Antwerp that we did n't wade through, and I was becom- ing foot-sore and tired, myself, with the exertion. "All this time the Emperor — for it was Napoleon — took no note of where we were going; he was too busy conversing with old General de Eitter to mind anything else. At last, after traversing a long narrow street, we came down upon an arm of the Scheldt; and so overcome was I then that I resolved I would go no farther without a smoke, and I sat myself down on a butter firkin, and took out my pipe, and proceeded to strike a light with my flint. A titter of laughter from the officers now attracted the Emperor's attention, and he stopped short, and stared at me as if I had been some wonderful beast. '"What is this?' said he. 'Why don't you move forward ? ' '"It's impossible,' replied I; 'I never walked so far since I was born.' " ' Where is the citadel ? ' cried he in a passion. '"In the devil's keeping,' said I, 'or we should have seen it long ago.' That must be it yonder, ' said an aide-de-camp, point- ing to a green, grassy eminence at the other side of the Scheldt. "The Emperor took the telescope from his hand, and looked through it steadily for a couple of minutes. MINE HOSrS TALE. 43 "'Yes,' said he, ' that's it; but why have we come all this round ? The road lay yonder. ' "' Ja,' said I, 'so it did.' "'Ventre bleu!' roared he, while he stamped his foot upon the ground, ' Le gaillard se mocLue de nous ! ' " ' Ja, ' said I again, without well knowing why. '" The citadel is there! It is yonder! ' cried he, point- ing with his finger. " ' Ja, ' said I, once more. " ' En avant ! then, ' shouted he, aS' he motioned me to descend the flight of steps which led down to the Scheldt; ' if this be the road you take, par Saint Denis ! you shall go first. ' "Now the frost, as I have said, had only set in a few days before, and the ice on the Scheldt would scarcely have borne the weight of a drummer-boy; so I remonstrated at once, — at first in Dutch, and then in French, as well as I was able, — but nobody minded me. I then endeavored to show the danger his Majesty himself would incur; but they only laughed at this, and cried, — " ' En avant, en avant toujours, ' and before I had time for another word, there was a corporal's guard behind me with fixed bayonets ; the word ' march ' was given, and out I stepped. "I tried to say a prayer, but I could think of nothing but curses upon the fiends, whose shouts of laughter behind put all my piety to flight. When I came to the bottom step I turned round, and, putting my hand to my sides, endeavored by signs to move their pity; but they only screamed the louder at this, and at a signal from an officer a fellow touched me with a bayonet. "That was an awful moment," said old Hoogendorp, stopping short in his narrative, and seizing the can, which for half an hour he had not tasted. "I think I see the river before me still, with its flakes of ice, some thick and some thin, riding on one another ; some whirling along in the rapid current of the stream ; some lying like islands where the water was sluggish. I turned round, and I clenched my fist, and I shook it in the Emperor's face, and I swore by the bones of the Stadtholder that if I had but one grasp of 44 ARTHUR O'LEARY. his hand, I 'd not perform that dance without a partner. Here I stood, " quoth he, " and the Scheldt might be, as it were, there. I lifted my foot thus, and came down upon a large piece of floating ice, which the moment 1 touched it slipped away, and shot out into the stream." At this moment Mynheer, who had been dramatizing this portion of his adventure, came down upon the waxed floor with a plump that shook the pagoda to its centre ; while I, who had during the narrative been working double tides at the Schiedam, was so interested at the catastrophe that I thought he was really in the Scheldt, in the situation he was describing. The instincts of humanity were, I am proud to say, stronger in me than those of reason. I kicked off my shoes, threw away my coat, and plunged boldly after him. I remember well catching him by the throat, and I remember, too, feeling what a dreadful thing was the grip of a drowning man ; for both his hands were on my neck, and he squeezed me fearfully. Of what hap- pened after, the waiters or the Humane Society may know something. I only can tell that I kept my bed for four days; and when I next descended to the table d'hote, I saw a large patch of black sticking-plaster across the bridge of old Hoogendorp's nose, and I never was a guest in Lust und Eust afterwards. The loud clanking of the table d'hote bell aroused me, as I lay dreaming of Frank Holbein and the yellow doublet. I dressed hastily, and descended to the saal. Everything was exactly as I left it ten years before, even to the cherry- wood pipe-stick that projected from Mynheer's breeches- pocket; nothing was changed. The clatter of post-horses and the heavy rattle of wheels drew me to the window in time to see the alderman's carriage, with four posters, roll past; a kiss of the hand was thrown me from the rumble. It was the Honorable Jack himself, who somehow had won their favor, and was already installed their travelling companion. "It is odd enough," thought I, as I arranged my napkin across my knee, "what success lies in a well- curled whisker, particularly if the wearer be a fool." CHAPTER IV. MEMS. AND MOKALIZINGS. He who expects to find these " Loiterings " of mine of any service as a guide-book to the Continent, or a voy- ager's manual, will be sorely disappointed. As well might he endeavor to devise a suit of clothes from the patches of cloth scattered about a tailor's shop ; there might be, indeed, wherewithal to repair an old garment or make a penwiper, but no more. My fragments, too, of every shape and color — sometimes showy and flaunting, sometimes a piece of hodden-gray or linsey-woolsey — are all I have to present to my friends. Whatever they be in shade or tex- ture, whether fine or homespun, rich in Tyrian dye or stained with russet brown, I can only say for them, they are all my own, — I have never "cabbaged from any man's cloth." And now, to abjure decimals and talk like a unit of humanity, if you would know the exact distance between any two towns abroad, the best mode of reaching your des- tination, the most comfortable hotel to stop at when you have got there, who built the cathedral, who painted the altar-piece, who demolished the town in the year fifteen hundred and — fiddlestick, — then take into your confi- dence the immortal John Murray; he can tell you all these, and much more ; how many kreutzers make a groschen, how many groschen make a gulden, reconciling you to all the difficulties of travel by historic associations, memoirs of people who lived before the flood, and learned dissertations on the etymology of the name of the town, which all your ingenuity can't teach you how to pronounce. Well, it's a fine thing, to be sure, when your carriage breaks down in a chaussee with holes large enough to bury a dog, it 's a great satisfaction to know that some ten thousand years previous, this place, that seems for all the 46 ARTHUR O'LEARY. world like a inountain torrent, was a Roman way. If the inn you sleep in be infested with every annoyance to which inns are liable, — all that long catalogue of evils, from boors to bugs, — never mind, there 's sure to be some delightful story of a bloody murder connected with its annals, which will amply repay you for all your suffering. And now, in sober seriousness, what literary fame equals John Murray's ? What portmanteau, with two shirts and a nightcap, has n't got one Handbook ? What Eng- lishman issues forth at morn without one beneath his arm ? How naturally does he compare the voluble state- ment of his valet-de-place with the testimony of the book. Does he not carry it with him to church, where, if the sermon be slow, he can read a description of the build- ing ? Is it not his guide at table d'hote, teaching him when to eat, and where to abstain ? Does he look upon a building, a statue, a picture, an old cabinet, or a manu- script, with whose eyes does he see it ? With John Murray's, to be sure! Let John tell him this town is famous for its mushrooms, why, he '11 eat them till he becomes half a fungus himself; let him hear that it is celebrated for its lace manufactory or its iron work, its painting on glass or its wigs, straightway he buys up all he can find, only to discover, on reaching home, that a London shopkeeper can undersell him in the same articles by about fifty per cent. In all this, however, John Murray is not to blame; on the contrary, it only shows his headlong popularity, and the implicit trust with which is received every statement he makes. I cannot conceive anything more frightful than the sudden appearance of a work which should con- tradict everything in the Handbook, and convince English people that John Murray was wrong. Xational bank- ruptcy, a defeat at sea, the loss of the colonies, might all be borne up against ; but if we awoke one morning to hear that the "Continent" was no longer the Continent we have been accustomed to believe it, what a terrific shock it would prove. Like the worthy alderman of London, who, hearing that Eobinson Crusoe was only a fiction, confessed he had lost one of the greatest pleasures MEMS. AND MORALIZINGS. 47 of his existence ; so, should we discover that we have been i-obbed of an innocent and delightful illusion, for which no reality of cheating waiters and cursing Frenchmen would ever repay us. Of the implicit faith with which John and his "Manual '' are received, I remember well, witnessing a pleasant in- stance a few years back on the Rhine. On the deck of the steamer, amid that strange com- mingled mass of Cockneys and Dutchmen, Flemish boors, German barons, bankers and blacklegs, money-changers, cheese-mongers, quacks, and consuls, sat an elderly couple, who, as far apart from the rest of the company as circum- stances would admit, were industriously occupied in com- paring the Continent with the Handbook, or, in other words, were endeavoring to see if Nature had dared to dissent from the true type they held in their hands. "'Andernach, formerly Andernachium, '" read the old lady, aloud. " Do you see it, my dear ? " "Yes," said the old gentleman, jumping up on the bench and adjusting his pocket telescope: "yes," said he, "go on. I have it." "'Andernach,'" resumed she, "'is an ancient Eoman town, and has twelve towers — ' " " How many did you say ? " " Twelve, my dear — " "Wait a bit, wait a bit," said the old gentleman, while, with outstretched finger, he began to count them, — one, two, three, four, and so on till he reached eleven, when he came to a dead stop; and then, dropping his voice to a tone of tremulous anxiety, he whispered, "There 's one a-missing." "You don't say so!" said the lady; "dearee me! try it again." The old gentleman shook his head, frowned ominously, and recommenced the score. "You missed the little one near the lime-kiln," inter- rupted the lady. "No!" said he, abruptly, "that's six, there's seven — eight — nine — ten — eleven, — and see, not another." Upon this, the old lady mounted beside him, and the enumeration began in duet fashion; but try it how they 48 ARTHUE O'LEARY. would, let them take them up hill, or down hill, along the Rhine first, or commence inland, it was no use, — they could not make the dozen of them. "It is shameful! " said the gentleman. " Very disgraceful, indeed ! " echoed the lady, as she closed the book, and crossed her hands before her; while her partner's indignation took a warmer turn, and he paced the deck in a state of violent agitation. It was clear that no idea of questioning John Murray's accuracy had ever crossed their minds ; far from it. The Handbook had told them honestly what they were to have at Andernach : " twelve towers built by the Romans " was part of the bill of fare; and some rascally Duke of Hesse something had evidently absconded with a stray castle. They were cheated, "bamboozled, and bit," in- veigled out of their mother-country under false pretences, and they "wouldn't stand it for no one;" and so they went about complaining to every passenger, and endeav- oring, with all their eloquence, to make a national thing of it, and determined to represent the case to the minis- ter the moment they reached Frankfort. And now, as the a propos reminds me, what a devil of a life an English min- ister has in any part of the Continent frequented by his countrymen. Let John Bull, from his ignorance of the country or its language, involve himself in a scrape with the authorities, let him lose his passport or his purse, let him forget his penknife or his portmanteau; straightway he repairs to the ambassador, who, in his eyes, is a cross between Lord Aberdeen and a Bow-street officer. The minister's functions are indeed multifarious, — now investigating the advantages of an international treaty; now detecting the whereabouts of a missing cotton umbrella; now assigning the limits of a territory; now giving instructions on the ceremony of presentation to court; now estimating the fiscal relations of the navigation of a river; now apprais- ing the price of the bridge of a waiter's nose. As these pleasant and harmless pursuits, so popular in London, of breaking lamps, wrenching off knockers, and thrashing the police, when practised abroad require explanation at the MEMS. AND MORALIZINGS. 49 hands of the minister, he hesitates not to account for them as national predilections, like the taste for strong ale and underdone beef. He is a proud man, indeed, who puts his foot upon the Continent with that Aladdin's lamp, — a letter to the am- bassador. The credit of his banker is in his eyes very inferior to that all-powerful document, which opens to his excited imagination the salons of royalty, the dinner-table of the embassy, a private box at the opera, aud the atten- tions of the whole fashionable world; and he revels in the expectation of crosses, cordons, stars, and decorations, private interviews with royalty, ministerial audiences, and all the thousand and one flatteries which are heaped upon the highest of the land. If he is single, he does n't know but he may marry a princess; if he be married, he may have a daughter for some German archduke, — with three hussars for an army, and three acres of barren mountain for a territory, — whose subjects are not so numerous as the hairs of his mustache, but whose quarterings go back to Il^oah, and an ark on a "field azure" figures in his escutcheon. Well, well ! of all the expectations of mankind these are about the vainest. These foreign-office documents are but Bellerophon letters, — born to betray. Let not their pos- session dissuade you from making a weekly score with your hotel-keeper, under the pleasant delusion that you are to dine out four days out of the seven. Alas and alack ! the ambassador does n't keep open house for his rapparee coun- trymen ; his hotel is no shelter for females destitute of any correct idea as to where they are going, and why ; and how- ever strange it may seem, he actually seems to think his dwelling as much his own as though it stood in Belgrave Square or Piccadilly. Now, John Bull has no notion of this; he pays for these people; they figure in the "Budget," and for a good round sum, too ; and what do they do for it ? John knows little of the daily work of diplomacy. A treaty, a tariff, a question of war, he can understand ; but the red-tapery of ofBce he can make nothing of. Court gossip; royal marriages ; how his Majesty smiled at the French envoy, 4 50 ARTHUR O'LEARY. and only grinned at the Austrian charge d'affaires ; how the queen spoke three minutes to the Danish minister's wife, and only said "Bonjour, madame," to the Neapoli- tan's; how plum-pudding figured at the royal table, thus showing that English policy was in the ascendant, — all these signs of the times are a Chaldee manuscript to him. But that the ambassador should invite him and Mrs. Simp- kins, and the three Misses and Master Gregory Simpkins, to take a bit of dinner in the family way; should bully the landlord at the Aigle, and make a hard bargain with the lohn-kutscher for him at the Schwan; should take care that he saw the sights, and was n't more laughed at than was absolutely necessary, — all that is comprehensible, and John expects it as naturally as though it was set forth in his passport, and sworn to by the foreign secretary before he left London. Of all the strange anomalies of English character, I don't know one so thoroughly inexplicable as the mystery by which so really independent a fellow as John Bull ought to be, — and as he, in nineteen cases out of twenty, is, — should be a tuft-hunter. The man who would scorn any pecuniary obligation, who would travel a hundred miles back on his journey to acquit a forgotten debt, who has not a thought that is not high-souled, lofty, and honorable, will stoop to anything to be where he has no pretension to be, — -to figure in a society where he is any- thing but at his ease, unnoticed save by ridicule. Any one who has much experience of the Continent must have been struck by this. There is no trouble too great, no expense too lavish, no intrigue too difficult, to obtain an invitation to court or an embassy soiree. These embassy soirees, too, are good things in their way, a kind of terrestrial inferno, where all ranks and condi- tions of men enter, — stately Prussians, wily Frenchmen, roguish-looking Austrians, stupid Danes, haughty English, swarthy, mean-looking Spaniards, and here and there some " eternal swaggerer " from the States, with his hair en Kentucli, and "a very pretty considerable damned loud smell " of tobacco about him. Then there are the grandes dames, glittering in diamonds, and sitting in divan, and MEMS. AND MORALIZINGS. 51 the ministers' ladies of every gradation, from plenipos' wives to charges d'affaires, with their cordons of whiskered attacMs about them, maids of honor, aides-de-camp du roi, Poles, savants, newspaper editors, and a Turk. Every rank has its place in the attention of the host; and he poises his civilities as though a ray the more, one shade the less, would upset the balance of nations, and com- promise the peace of Europe. In that respect, nothing ever surpassed the old Dutch embassy at Dresden, where the maitre d'hotel had strict orders to serve coffee to the ministers, eau sucrie to the secretaries, and nothing to the attach&s. Xo plea of heat, fatigue, or exhaustion was ever suffered to infringe a rule founded on the broadest views of diplomatic rank. A cup of coffee thus became, like a cordon or a star, an honorable and a proud distinc- tion; and the enviable possessor sipped his Mocha, and coquetted with the spoon, with a sense of dignity ordinary men know nothing of in such circumstances; while the secretary's eau sucr^e became a goal to the young aspirant in the career, which must have stirred his early ambition, and stimulated his ardor for success. If, as some folk say, human intellect is never more conspicuous than where a high order of mind can descend to some paltry, insignificant circumstance, and bring to its consideration all the force it possesses, certes diplomatic people must be of a no mean order of capacity. From the question of a disputed frontier to that of a place at dinner — there is but one spring from the course of a river towards the sea — ^and a procession to table, the practised mind bounds as naturally as though it were a hop and a step. A case in point occurred some short time since at Erankfort. The etiquette in this city gives the president of the diet precedence of the different members of the corps diplo- matique, who, however, all take rank before the rest of the diet. The Austrian minister, who occupied the post of presi- dent, being absent, the Prussian envoy held the office ad interim, and believed that, with the duties, its privileges became his. 52 ARTHUR O'LEARY. M. Anstett, the Russian envoy, having invited his col- leagues to dinner, the grave question arose who was to go first. On one hand the dowager was the Minister of France, who always preceded the others ; on the other was the Prus- sian, a pro-tempore president, who showed no disposition to concede his pretensions. The important moment arrived; the door was flung wide, and an imposing voice proclaimed: "Madame la Baronne est servie." Scarce were the words spoken, when the Prussian sprang forward, and offering his arm gal- lantly to Madame d'Anstett, led the way before the Frenchman had time to look around him. When the party were seated at table, M. d'Anstett looked about him in a state of embarrassment and uneasi- ness; then, suddenly rallying, he called out in a voice audible throughout the whole room : " Serve the soup to the Minister of France first ! " The order was obeyed, and the French minister had lifted his third spoonful to his lips before the humbled Prussian had tasted his. The next day saw couriers flying, extra post through all Europe, conveying the important intelligence that when all other precedence failed, soup might be resorted to, to test rank and supremacy. And now enough for the present of ministers ordinary and extraordinary, envoys and plenipos; though I intend to come back to them at another opportunity. CHAPTER V. STRANGE CHARACTEES. It was through no veneration for the memory of Van Hoogendorp's adventure that I found myself one morning at Antwerp. I like the old town. I like its quaint, irreg- ular streets, its glorious cathedral, the old Place, with its alleys of trees ; I like the Flemish women, and their long- eared caps ; and I like the table d'hote at the St. Antoine, — among other reasons, because, being at one o'clock, it affords a capital argument for a hot supper at nine. I do not know how other people may feel, but to me, I must confess, much of the pleasure the Continent affords me, is destroyed by the jargon of the commissionnaires, and the cant of guide-books. Why is not a man permitted to sit down before that great picture, The Descent from the Cross, and " gaze his fill " on it ? Why may he not look till the whole scene is, as it were, acted before him, and all those faces of grief, of care, of horror, and of despair are graven in his memory, never to be erased again ? Why, I say, may he not study this in tranquillity and peace, with- out some coarse, tobacco-reeking fellow at his elbow, in a dirty blouse and wooden shoes, explaining in patois French the merits of a work which he is as well fitted to paint as to appreciate ? But I must not myself commit the very error I am reprobating. I will not attempt any description of a picture which to those who have seen it could realize not one of the impressions the work itself afforded, and to those who have not would convey nothing at all. I will not bore my reader with the tiresome cant of "effect," "expression," "force," "depth," and "relief," but instead of all this will tell him a short story about the paint- ing, which if it has no other merit has at least that of authenticity. 54 ARTHUR O'LEARY. Rubens — who, among his other tastes, was a great florist — was very desirous to enlarge his garden by adding to it a patch of ground adjoining. It chanced, unfortu- nately, that this piece of land did not belong to an indi- vidual who could be tempted by a large price, but to a society or club called the " Arquebussiers, " one of those old Flemish guilds which date their origin several cen- turies back. Insensible to every temptation of money, they resisted all the painter's offers, and at length only consented to relinquish the land on condition that he would paint a picture for them representing their patron saint, Saint Christopher. To this Eubens readily acceded, his only diSiculty being to find out some incident in the good saint's life which might serve as a subject. What Saint Christopher had to do with cross-bows or sharp- shooters no one could tell him ; and for many a long day he puzzled his mind, without ever being able to hit upon a solution of the difficulty. At last, in despair, the etymol- ogy of the word suggested a plan; and "Christopheros," or cross-bearer, afforded the hint on which he began his great picture of The Descent. For months long he worked industriously at the painting, taking an interest in its details such as he confesses never to have felt in any of his previous works. He knew it to be his chef-cfwiivre, and looked forward, with a natural eagerness, to the moment when he should display it before its future pos- sessors, and receive their congratulations on his success. The day came; the Arquebuss men assembled, and re- paired in a body to Rubens's house. The large folding- shutters which concealed the painting were opened, and the triumph of the painter's genius was displayed before them. But not a word was spoken; no exclamation of admiration or wonder broke from the assembled throng; not a murmur of pleasure, or even surprise, was there. On the contrary, the artist beheld nothing but faces expressive of disappointment and dissatisfaction; and at length, after a considerable pause, one question burst from every lip, " Where is Saint Christopher ? " It was to no purpose that he explained the object of his work. In vain he assured them that the picture was STRANGE CHARACTERS. 55 the greatest he had ever painted, and far superior to what he had contracted to give them. They stood obdurate and motionless. It was Saint Christopher they wished for; it was for him they bargained, and him they would have. The altercation continued long and earnest. Some of them, more moderate, hoping to conciliate both parties, suggested that as there was a small space unemployed in the left of the painting. Saint Christopher could be intro- duced there, by making him somewhat diminutive. Ru- bens rejected the proposal with disgust, — his great work was not to be destroyed by such an anomaly as this ; and so, breaking off the negotiation at once, he dismissed the Arquebuss men, and relinquished all pretension to the "promised land." Matters remained for some months thus, when the bur- gomaster, who was an ardent admirer of Rubens 's genius, happened to hear of the entire transaction, and waiting on the painter, suggested an expedient by which every diffi- culty might be avoided, and both parties rest content. "Why not," said he, "make a Saint Christopher on the outside of the shutter ? You have surely space enough there, and can make him of any size you like." The artist caught at the proposal, seized his chalk, and in a few min- utes sketched out a gigantic saint, which the burgomaster at once pronounced suited to the occasion. The Arquebuss men were again introduced, and, imme- diately on beholding their patron, professed themselves perfectly satisfied. The bargain was concluded, the land ceded, and the picture hung up in the great cathedral of Antwerp, — where, with the exception of the short period that French spoliation carried it to the Louvre, it has remained ever since, a monument of the artist's genius, the greatest and most finished of all his works. And now that I have done my story, I '11 try and find out that little quaint hotel they call the Fischer's Haus. Fifteen years ago, I remember losing my way one night in the streets of Antwerp. I couldn't speak a word of Flemish; the few people I met could n't understand a word of French. I wandered about for full two hours, and heard the old cathedral clock play a psalm-tune, and the St. 56 ARTHUR O'LEARY. Joseph tried its hand on another. A watchman cried the hour through a cow's horn, and set all the dogs a-barking; and then all was still again, and I plodded along, without the faintest idea of the points of the compass. In this moody frame of mind I was, when the heavy- clank of a pair of sabots behind apprised me that some one was following. I turned sharply about, and accosted him in French. " English ? " said he, in a thick, guttural tone. "Yes, thank Heaven," said I; "do you speak English ?" " Ja, Mynheer," answered he. Though this reply didn't promise very favorably, I immediately asked him to guide me to my hotel, upon which he shook his head gravely, and said nothing. "Don't you speak English ?" said I. " Ja," said he once more. "I 've lost my way," cried I; "I am a stranger." He looked at me doggedly for a minute or two, and then with a stern gravity of manner, and a phlegm I cannot attempt to convey, he said, — " Damn my eyes ! " "What," said I, "do you mean ?" " Ja," was the only reply. "If you know English, why won't you speak it ? " "Damn his eyes! " said he, with a deep solemn tone. " Is that all you know of the language ? " cried I, stamp- ing with impatience. "Can you say no more than that ? " " Damn your eyes ! " ejaculated he, with as much com- posure as though he were maintaining an earnest conver- sation. When I had sufficiently recovered from the hearty fit of laughter this colloquy occasioned me, I began by signs, — ■ such as melodramatic people make to express sleep, placing my head in the hollow of my hand, snoring and yawning, — to represent that I stood in need of a bed. "Ja," cried my companion, with more energy than before, and led the way down one narrow street and up another, traversing lanes where two men could scarcely go abreast, until at length we reached a branch of the Scheldt, along which we continued for about twenty minutes. Sud- STRANGE CHARACTERS. 67 denly the sound of voices shouting a species of Dutch tune — for so its unspeakable words and wooden turns bespoke it — apprised me that we were near a house where the people were yet astir. "Ha! " said I, "this is a hotel then ?" Another " Ja." "What do they call it?" A shake of the head. " That will do ; good-night, " said I, as I saw the bright lights gleaming from the small diamond panes of an old Flemish window; "I am much obliged to you." " Damn your eyes ! " said my friend, taking off his hat politely, and making me a low bow, while he added some- thing in Flemish, which I sincerely trust was of a more polite and complimentary import than his parting bene- diction in English. As I turned from the Fleming I entered a narrow hall, which led by a low-arched door into a large room, along which a number of tables were placed, each crowded by its own party, who clinked their cans, and vociferated a chorus which, from constant repetition, rings still in my memory, — " Wenn die wein ist in die nianii, Der weisdheid den ist in die l