•pi? 
 
 Fii 
 
 n 
 
 a^ 
 
 CORNELL 
 
 UNIVERSITY 
 
 LIBRARY 
 
 In memory of 
 
 HARRY F- STRATTON 
 
 Class of 1903 
 
nr> «-^> Cornell University Library 
 
 PR 3716.F38 1798a 
 
 Illustrations of Sterne; with other essay 
 
 3 1924 013 199 850 
 
Cornell University 
 Library 
 
 The original of tliis book is in 
 tine Cornell University Library. 
 
 There are no known copyright restrictions in 
 the United States on the use of the text. 
 
 http://www.archive.org/details/cu31924013199850 
 
Illustrations of Sterne; 
 
 with Other Essays 
 
 and Verses 
 
 John Ferriar 
 
 Garland Publishing, Inc., New York 
 
 1971 
 
Bibliographical note: 
 
 this facsimile has been made from a 
 
 copy in the Yale University Library 
 
 (Im St 45 S 798 f Beineckej 
 
 Library of Congress Catalog Card Number: 77-112122 
 
 Printed in U.S.A. 
 
ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 of 
 
 STERNE, Sc, 
 
ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 of 
 
 STERNE: 
 
 with 
 
 OTHER ESSAYS AND VERSES. 
 BY JOHN FERRIAR, M.D. 
 
 Peace be with the soul of that charitable and cour- 
 teous Author, who, for the common henejit of hi' 
 fellow-authors, introduced the ingenious way oj 
 Miscellaneous \yriting ! 
 
 SHArTZIBUHY. 
 
 raiNTiD toK 
 CADELL AND DAVIES, LONDON, 
 
 George Nicholioa, Manchester. 
 M.DCC>XCVX11. 
 
TO 
 
 GEORGE PHILIPS, ESQ. 
 
 MANCHESTER. 
 
 You must forgive me, my dear friend, for 
 having gratified, without your participation, 
 a wish which I have long entertained., to dedi- 
 cate this volume to you. This, indeed, is the 
 only part of the work on which your judgment 
 has not been consulted. Within the circle of 
 our acquaintance, no account of the motives for 
 this dedication will be demanded : to the pub- 
 lic let me say, that it is a tribute due, on my 
 part, to a long-tried and perfect friendships 
 cemented by the love of letters, and destined, I 
 trust, never to admit interruption or decay. 
 I am, 
 m^st truly and faithfully yours, 
 
 THE AUTHOR. 
 DAWSON-STREET, 
 August i6, >798. 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 Page. 
 Illustrations of Steme t 
 
 Chapter I. PrababU origin of Sttrnifs 
 ludicrous writings. — Gaicral account of the 
 nature of the ludicrous — fVhy the sixteenth 
 century produced many authors of this class 3 
 
 Chapter II. Ludifrous writers, from, 
 whom Sterne probably took general ideas, 
 or particular passages — Rabelais — Bero- 
 alde — D'Aubigni^ — Bouchet — Bruscambille 
 Scarron — Szuift— ^Gabriel John 23 
 
 Chapter III. Other writers imitated by 
 Sterne — Burton — Bacon — Blount — Mon- 
 taigne — Bishop Hall 55 
 
 Chapter IV, Mr. Shandy's hypothesis 
 ef noses explained — Taliacotius — Stories of 
 long noses — Coincidence between VigneuU 
 Marville and Lavater — Opinions of Gar- 
 mann — Riolan — Beddoes — Segar's point of 
 honour concerning the nose 100 
 
 Chapter V. Uncle Toby's hobby-horse 
 —Amours — Story of Sorlisi 145 
 
 Chapter VI, Mr, Shandy's hypothesis 
 of Christian names — Miscellaneous Illus- 
 trations—Conclusion 164 
 
 Additional notes 186 
 
viii CONTENTS. 
 
 Of certain Varietiet of Man 193 
 
 Menippean £uay on English Historians.. .. S25 
 
 The Puppet-Shew ; a didactic poem : partly 
 translated from Additon's Machtnae Gesti- 
 culantes 255 
 
 Of Genius 269 
 
 Dialogue in the Shades 289 
 
 Knaster; an elegy 303 
 
 A Northern Prospect. 311 
 
ADVERTISEMENT. 
 The following essays are of so familiar a nature, 
 that they require no formal introduction. A part of 
 the Comments on Sterne, which were published 
 some years ago, has been incorporated with these 
 Illustrations ; but with the exception of those few 
 pages, the work is entirely new. Tho' all the pieces 
 of this miscellany may be considered as the fruit of 
 " idle hours not idly spent," in the intervals of 
 an active Profession, I hope it will be found that 
 they have been composed with a degree of atten- 
 tion, proportioned to my respect for the opinion 
 of the public ; and that I have not been rendered 
 presumptuous, or careless, by the indulgence 
 which I have experienced on former occasions. 
 
ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 of 
 
 STERNE. 
 
Sterne, for whose sake I plod thro' miry ways 
 Of antic wit, and quibbling mazes drear, 
 Let not thy shade malignant cetisure fear, 
 Tho' aught of borrow'd mirth my search betrays. 
 Long slept that mirth in dust of ancient days, 
 (Erewhile to Guise, or wanton Vaiois dear) 
 Till wak'd by thee in Sicelton's joyous pile. 
 She flung on Tkistram her capricious rays. 
 But the quick tear, that checks our wond'ring 
 
 smile. 
 In sudden pause, or unexpected story, 
 Owns thy true mast'ry ; and Le Fevre's woes, 
 Maria's wand'iings, and the Pris'ner's throes 
 Fix thee conspicuous on the shrine of glory. 
 
ILLUSTRATIONS, 
 &c. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 Probable origin of Sterne's ludicrous writ- 
 ings. — General account of the nature oj the 
 ludicrous. — Why the sixteenth century pro- 
 duced many authors of this class. 
 
 It sometimes happens, in literary pur- 
 suits, as in the conduct of life, that parti- 
 cular attachments grow upon us by imper- 
 ceptible degrees, and by a succession of at- 
 tentions, trifling in themselves, though im- 
 portant in their consequences. When I 
 published some desultory remarks on the 
 writings of Sterne, a few years ago, having 
 told all that I knew, I had no intention to 
 resume the subject. But after an enquiry 
 
4 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 has been successfully begun, facts appear to 
 offer themselves of their own accord to the 
 investigator. Materials have encreased on 
 my hands, from a few casual notes and re- 
 ferences, to the size of a formal treatise : I 
 trust it will be found, however, that I have 
 had sufficient discretion not to bestow all 
 my tediousness on the public. 
 
 When the first volumes of Tristram 
 ■Siiandy appeared, they excited almost as 
 much perplexity as admiration. The feel- 
 ing, the wit, and reading which they display- 
 ed were sufficiently relished, but the wild 
 digressions, the abruptness of the narratives 
 and discussions, and the perpetual recur- 
 rence to obsolete notions in philosophy, 
 gave them more die air of a collection of 
 fragments, than of a regular work. Most 
 of the wi iters from whom Sterne drew the 
 general ideas, and many of the peculiari- 
 ties of his book, were then forgotten. Ra- 
 belais was the only French wit of the six- 
 teenth century, who was generally read, 
 and from his obscurity, it would have been 
 
OF STERNE. 5 
 
 vain to have expected any illustration of a 
 modem writer. 
 
 Readers are often inclined to regard with 
 veneration what they do not understand. 
 They suppose a work to be deep, in pro- 
 portion to its darkness, and give the author 
 credit for recondite learning, in many pas- 
 sages, where his incapacity, or his careless- 
 ness, have prevented him from explaining 
 himself with clearness. It was not the bu- 
 siness of Sterne to undeceive those, who 
 considered his Tristram as a work of un- 
 fathomable knowledge. 
 
 He had read with avidity the ludicrous 
 writers, who flourished under the last princes 
 of the race of Valois, and the first of the 
 Bourbons. They were at once courtiers, 
 men of wit, and some of them, profound 
 scholars. They offered to a mind full of 
 sensibility, and alive to every impression of 
 curiosity and voluptuousness, the private 
 history of an age, in which every class of 
 readers feels a deep interest; in which the 
 heroic spirit of chivalry seemed to be tern, 
 pered by letters, and the continued conflict 
 
b ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 of powerful and intrqpid minds produced 
 memorable changes, in religion, in politics, 
 and philosophy. They shewed, to a keen 
 observer of the passions, the secret move- 
 ments, which directed the splendid scenes 
 beheld with astonishment by Europe. They 
 exhibited statesmen and heroes drowning 
 their country in blood, for the favours of a 
 mistress, or a quarrel at a ball; and veiling 
 under the thew of patriotism, or religioiu 
 zeal, the meanest and most criminal mo- 
 tives. While he was tempted to imitate 
 their productions, the dormant reputation 
 of most of these authors seemed to invite 
 him to a secret treasure of learning, wit, and 
 ridicule. To the facility of these acquisi- 
 tions, we probably owe much of the gaiety 
 of Sterne. His imagination, untamed by 
 labour, and unsated by a long acquaintance 
 with literary folly, dwelt with enthusiasm on 
 the grotesque pictures of manners and opi- 
 nions, displayed in his favourite authors. It 
 may even be suspected, that by this influ. 
 ence he was drawn aside from his natural 
 bias to the pathetic; for in the serious parts 
 
■OF STE&NE. 7 
 
 of his works, he seems to have depended on 
 his own force, and to have found in his own 
 mind whatever he wished to produce; but 
 in the ludicrous, he is generally a copyist, 
 and sometimes follows his original so close- 
 ly, that he forgets the changes of manners, 
 which give an appearance of extravagance 
 to what was once correct ridicule. 
 
 It is more necessary to preserve a strict 
 attention to manners, in works of this 
 sort, because the ludicrous, by its nature, 
 tends to exaggeration. The passion of 
 laughter, the strongest effect of ludicrous 
 impressions, seems to be produced by the 
 intensity, or more properly, the excess of 
 pleasurable ideas : circum pracoriia ludere, 
 is the proper character of this class of emo- 
 tions. Thus, a ceruin degree of fulness 
 improves the figure, but if it be encreased 
 to excessive fatness, it becomes risible. So 
 in the qualities of the mind, modesty is 
 agreeable — extreme bashfulness is ridicu- 
 lous : we are amused with vivacity, we laugh 
 at levity. If we observe the conversation 
 of a professed jester, it will appear that his 
 
8 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 great secret consists in exaggeration. This, 
 is also the art of caricaturists : add but a 
 trifling degree of length or breadth to the 
 features of an agreeable face, and they be- 
 come ludicrous. In like manner, unbol- 
 ster Fahlaff, and his wit will affect us less,. 
 the nearer he approaches to the size of a 
 reasonable man. 
 
 I may add, that ia idiots, and persons of 
 weak understanding, laughter is a common 
 expression of surprise or pleasure; and 
 Young has observed, 
 
 That fools are ever on the laughing tide. 
 
 All these remarks prove, that we do not 
 reason with the accuracy which some au- 
 thors suppose, concerning the turpitude, or 
 incongruity of the ideas presented to us, be- 
 fore we give way to mirth. If their theory 
 were just, a malicious criuc might prove 
 from their effects, the incongruity of their 
 own discussions. 
 
 There is little difficulty in accounting for 
 the number and excellence of the ludicrous 
 writers, who appeared during the sixteenth 
 century, and who not only resemble each other 
 
OF STERNE. 9 
 
 in their manner, but employ similar turns 
 of thought, and by often relating the same 
 anecdotes, shew that they drew their mate- 
 rials from a common store. 
 
 The Amadis, and other similar romances, 
 had amused the short intervals of repose, 
 which the pursuits of love and arms afford- 
 ed, previous to the reign of Francis r, That 
 prince, equally the patron of letters and of 
 dissoluteness, formed a court, which requir- 
 ed works more calculated to inflame the 
 imagination : a libertine scholarship became 
 the tone of polite conversation, which was 
 too faithfully copied by the fashionable 
 wits. Even Brantome thinks it necessary 
 to treat his readers with quotations, though 
 mangled so barbarously, that he seems to 
 have caught them by his ear alone. Neither 
 the offensive details of this author, nor the 
 satirical touches of D'Aubigne, could per- 
 suade us of the extreme corruption of 
 manners in those times, if a witness, whose 
 veracity cannot be questioned, had not left 
 his testimony of its enormity, in a work de- 
 dicated to Cardinal Mazarine, and destined 
 
lO ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 to the instruction of Louis xiv, *' There 
 never was (says Perefixe, in speaking of the 
 court of Henry iii) a court more vicious, 
 or more corrupted. Impiety, atheism, ma- 
 gic, the most horrible impurities, the black- 
 est treachery and perfidy, poisoning and as- 
 sassination prevailed in it to the highest 
 degree." • 
 
 Rabelais, who shewed the way to the 
 rest, may be considered as forming the link 
 between the writers of romance and those of 
 simple merriment. Great part of his book 
 is thrown into the form of a burlesque ro- 
 mance; but, from the want of models, or 
 of taste, he found no other method of soft- 
 ening his narrative, than the introduction of 
 buffoonery. Some of his successors pre- 
 ferred the form of conversations, character- 
 istically supported; a fashion introduced 
 under the countenance of Henry 1 1 1. who, 
 in the midst of his vices and his dangers, 
 still felt the attractions of literature. He 
 instituted a meeting, which was held twice 
 a-week in his closet, where a question was 
 debated by the most learned men whom he 
 
 • See note I, 
 
OF STERNE. It 
 
 could attach to the court, and by some la- 
 dies, who had cultivated letters. This was 
 called the King's Academy, and admission 
 to it was reckoned a particular mark of fa- 
 vour.* It is remarkable that this institu- 
 tution took place at the very time when, ac- 
 cording to Perefixe, the morals of the court 
 were most depraved, and it may be suspect- 
 ed that the discussions were not always 
 stricdy philosophical. 
 
 From this Royal Academy, Bouchet seems 
 to have taken the plan of his SereeSi and it 
 is not improbable that the fashion extended 
 itself among the courtiers. In the succeed- 
 ing century, it seemed to be revived in the 
 celebrated conversations at the Hoiel de 
 RambouilUtf in recording which, Scuderi 
 has so completely succeeded in preserving 
 
 * Le Roi I'aiant fait de son Academic (1575)1 
 c'etoit une assemblee qu' il faisoit deux fois la Se- 
 maine en son cabinet, pour duir les plus doctes 
 hommes qu' il pouvoit, et mesmes quelques dames 
 qui avoient estudie sur un problemetoujoun pro- 
 prose par celui qui avoit le mieux fait a la der- 
 niere dispute. 
 
 D' Auiigne, Histoirc UnivcntUe, 
 
12 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 the verbose politeness of the time, and in tir- 
 ing the reader to death. Beroalde and 
 D'Aubigne published their most distinguish- 
 ed satirical pieces, in the colloquial form : 
 they cannot be termed dialogues, when we 
 think of Lucian, and when we consider, that 
 the diffidence of Erasmus prevented him 
 from assuming that title for his charming 
 Conversations. 
 
 The minds of men, just bursting from the 
 severe oppression of theological and philo- 
 sophical abuses, were peculiarly impressed 
 with the ludicrous aspect which the objects 
 of their fonner terror then presented. They 
 had seen absurdity in its full vigour, and 
 even in its tyranny; and they enjoyed the 
 opportunities of derision, wliich die violence 
 of parties afforded them. 
 
 Above all, the personal character of some 
 of their princes, especially some females of 
 the race of Valois, cherished this species of 
 writing. Margaret Queen of Navarre, the 
 accomplished sister of Francis i. was not 
 only the patroness of literary men, but a 
 writer of great merit. The original edition 
 
OS STERNE. 13 
 
 of her novels is unfortunately lost, and the 
 oldest which remains, was rendered into 
 « ieau langage" by some meddler, whose at- 
 tempt proves his want of taste and feeling. 
 But even through this kind of translation, 
 we discern a mind of exquisite sensibility, 
 highly ornamented both by reading and 
 conversation. 
 
 Her poetical correspondence with Marot 
 does great honour to her wit and elegance, 
 while it shews her sincere respect for genius, 
 unalloyed by the jealousy too common 
 among authors of her pretensions. 
 
 Marot had concluded some verses, which 
 he sent to a lady, as the forfeit of a wager, 
 with a wish, that his creditors would accept 
 the same kind of payment. Margaret re- 
 plied in the following lines : 
 
 Si ceux a qui devez, comme vous dites, 
 Vous cognoyssoient comme je vous cognois, 
 Quitte seriez des debtes que vous iites, 
 Le temps passe, tant grandes que petites, 
 £n leur payant un dizain, toutefois 
 Tel que le votre, qui vauc mieux mille fois, 
 Que I' argent deu par vous, en conscience : 
 Car estimer ou peut 1' argent au poids, 
 
14 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 Mais on ne peut (et j'en doane ma voix) 
 Asses priser vostre belle science. 
 
 If those, Marot, by whom you 're held in thrall, 
 Esteem'd, like me, your rich, excelling vein. 
 Full soon their harsh demands they would recal, 
 And quit you of your debts, both great & small, 
 One polish'd stanza thankful to obtain; 
 For verse like your's I hold more precious gain 
 Than commerce knows, or avarice can devise : 
 Gold may be rated to its utmost grain, 
 But well 1 deem (nor think my judgment vain), 
 That none your noble art can over-prize. 
 
 If Marot is to be believed, in his answer, 
 he made good use of this elegant compli- 
 ment: 
 
 Mes creanciers, qui de dizains n' ont cure, 
 Ont leu le vostre : et sur ce leur ay dit. 
 Sire Michel, Sire Bonaventure, 
 La socur du roi a pour moi fait ce dit : 
 Lors eux cuidans que fusse en grand credit, 
 M'ont appelle Monsieur a cry et cor, 
 £t m' a valu vostre escrit autant qu' or : 
 Car promis ont, non seulement d'attendre, 
 Mais d' en prester, foi de marchand, encore : 
 Et j'ay promis, foi de Clement, d* en prendre. 
 
or STERKE. 15 
 
 My cits, who nor for ode nor stanza care, 
 Have read yourlines, &op'd their rugged hearts; 
 I said, Sir Balaam, and Sir Plum, look there. 
 Thus our king's sister values my good parts : 
 They, deeming me advanc'd by courtly arts, 
 Honour'd and worshipp'd me, with bows pro- 
 found. 
 And by your {rolden verses I abound ; 
 Like ready coin, my credit they restore ; 
 To lend again my worthy friends are bound, 
 I pledg'd my honest word to borrow more. 
 
 A collection of the poems of this cele- 
 brated lady was published, under the title of 
 Lci Marguerites de la Marguerite des Prin- 
 cesses; the Pearls of the Pearl of Princesses; 
 a conceit worthy of the compiler, who was 
 her valet de chambre. 
 
 Margaret was suspected of an attachment 
 to the reformed religion, in common with 
 several of the wits whom she patronized, but 
 her brother's affection sheltered her from per- 
 secution. Francis condemned the opinions 
 of the reformed, as tending more to the de- 
 struction of monarchies, than to the edifica- 
 tion of souls. Brantome adds, in his manner, 
 that die great Sultan Soliman was of the 
 
l6 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 same opinion. • An excellent authority for 
 the papal religion ! 
 
 Even the death of this princess was con- 
 nected with her love of knowledge; she con- 
 tracted a mortal disease, by exposing her- 
 self to the night-air, in observing a comeut 
 
 Ker virtues were not inherited by the 
 first wife of Henry iv. who bore the same 
 
 name and title; but the second Margaret 
 
 • The whole passage is curious. " Le grand 
 Sultan Soliman en disoit de mesme : laquelle (la re- 
 formee) combien qu 'elle renversa pluseiurs points 
 de la religion Chrestienne et du Pape, il ne la 
 pouvoit aymer ; d'autant, disoit-il, que les reli- 
 gicux d' icellc n'estoient que brouillons et sediti- 
 cux, et ne sc pouvoient tcnir en irpos, qu' ils ne 
 remuasscDt tousjours. Voila pourquoi le roi 
 Francois, sage prince s' il en fust oncques, en 
 prevoyant les miscrcs qui en sont venues en plu- 
 sieurs parts de la Chrcstiente, les haVssoit, et fut 
 un peu rigourcux a faire hrusler vifs les here- 
 tiques de son temps. Si ne laista-t-il pourtant i 
 favoriser les princes protestantsd'AlIemagnecontre 
 1' Empereur. Ainsi ces grands rois se gouvernent 
 comme il leur plaist. 
 
 Brantome, torn, ii.p, zBj, e. 
 
 i lb. torn. ii. p. £89. 
 
OF STERNE. 17 
 
 seems to have possessed, with the spirit of 
 gallantry, some degree of the love of letters, 
 which distinguished her grandfather Fran- 
 cis i . It is sufficiendy clear, from many scat- 
 tered anecdotes in Brantome, and other 
 writers of that time, that during the brilliant 
 period of her youth, her manners were cal- 
 culated to encourage the class of authors 
 which I have been describing; but it must 
 be owned, that she concluded like many 
 other lively characters, by shewing as much 
 fervour in devotion, as she had formerly dis- 
 played in libertinism. 
 
 Among those fascinating women, who 
 united the attractions of taste and knowledge 
 to those of elegance and beauty, it would be 
 unjust to forget the unfonunate Mary 
 Stuart. Brantome, an eye-witness of the 
 early part of her life, informs us that she 
 was much attached to literature, and that 
 she patronized Ronsard and Du Bellay. 
 Her dirge on the death of Francis 1 1. which 
 Brantome has preserved, contains some 
 touches of true feeling amidst its conceits. 
 c 
 
i8 
 
 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 The affair of Chastelard, of which 
 the same writer gives us an account, shews 
 her affability to men of genius; though it 
 must be confessed, that she exhibited at last, 
 a degree of prudery, perhaps too austere. 
 
 Chastelard was a young man of family 
 and talents, who had embarked in the suite 
 of Mary, when she returned from France, to 
 take possession of a disgusting sovereignty. 
 He paid his court to the queen by compos- 
 ing several pieces of poetry, during the 
 voyage, and one among the rest, which I 
 have been tempted to imitate from Bran- 
 tome's sketch of it. " Et entre autres il 
 en fit une d' elle sur un traduction en Itali 
 ien ; car il le parloit et 1' entendoit bien, 
 qui commence : Che giova possedtr citta t 
 regni, (3c, Qui est un sonnet . trcs-bieo 
 fait, dont la substance est telle ; De quoi sert 
 posseder tant dc royaumts, ciiez, villes, pro~ 
 vinces; commander a tant de peupUs ; se 
 Jairt respecter, craindre et admirer, et voir 
 d'un chacun ; et dormir ve/ve, seule^ etfroiit 
 comme glace ?' 
 
OF STERNE. I9 
 
 What boots it to possess a royal state. 
 
 To view fair subject-towns from princely tow'rs, 
 
 With mask and song to sport in frolic bow'rs. 
 
 Or watch with prudence 6'er a nation's fate, 
 
 If the heart throb not to a tender mate; 
 
 If doom'd, when feasts are o'er, and midnight 
 
 lours. 
 Still to lie lonely in a widow'd bed, 
 And waste in chill regret the secret hours ? 
 Happier the lowly maid, by fondness led 
 To meet the transports of some humble swain, 
 Than she, the object of her people's care, 
 Rever'd by all, who finds no heart to share. 
 And pines, too great for love, in splendid pain. 
 
 Mary sought relief from the tiresome uni- 
 formity of the voyage, in attending to the 
 productions of the young Frenchman ; she 
 even deigned to reply to them, and amused 
 herself frequently with his conversation. 
 This dangerous familiarity overpowered the 
 heart of poor Chastelard, He conceived a 
 hopeless and unconquerable passion, and 
 found himself, almost at the same moment, 
 obliged to quit the presence of its object, 
 and to return to his native country. 
 
 Soon afterwards, the civil wars began in 
 
20 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 France; and Chastelard, who was a pro- 
 testant, eagerly sought a pretence for re- 
 visiting Scotland, in his aversion to take 
 arms against the royal party. Mary receiv- 
 ed him with goodness, but she soon repent- 
 ed her condescension. His passion no 
 longer knew any bounds, and he was found 
 one evening, by her women, concealed un- 
 der her bed, just before she retired to rest. 
 She consulted equally her dignity and her 
 natural mildness, by pardoning this sally of 
 youthful frenzy, and commanding the af- 
 feir to be suppressed. But Chastelard was 
 incorrigible : he repeated liis offence, and 
 the queen delivered him up to her court* of 
 justice, by which he was sentenced to be 
 beheaded. 
 
 His conduct, at the time of his death, was 
 romantic in the extreme. He would ac- 
 cept no spiritual assistance, but read, with 
 great devotion, Ronsard's Hymn on Death. 
 He then turned towards the Queen's apart- 
 ments, and exclaimed, Farewell the fairest^ 
 and moit cruel princess in the world; after 
 
OF STERNE. 21 
 
 .which he submitted to the stroke of jus- 
 tice, with the courage of a Rinaldo or an 
 Olindo. 
 
 ■ The ancient heroines of romance were 
 content with banishing a presumptuous lov- 
 er from their presence. Perhaps the ex- 
 travagance of Chastelard's feelings was such, 
 that he might have considered exile from 
 Scotland as the severest of punishmciits. 
 Mary certainly exercised her dispensing 
 power with more lenity, on some other oc- 
 casions. 
 
 The establishment of a buffoon, or king's 
 jester, which operated so forcibly on Sterne's 
 imagination, as to make him adopt the name 
 of Yorick^ furnished an additional motive 
 for the exertions of ludicrous writers, in 
 that age. To jest was the ambition of the 
 best company; and when the progress of 
 civilization is duly weighed, between the 
 period to which I have confined my ob- 
 servations, and the time of Charles ii. of 
 this country, it will appear that the value 
 ^t upon ihecr wit^ as it was then called, was 
 
22 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 hardly less inconsistent with -suict judgment, 
 than was the merriment of the cap. and bells 
 with the grave discussions of the- furred 
 doctors, or learned ladies of the old French 
 court. 
 
OF ST£-RNE. 23 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 Ludicrous writers^ from whom Sterne pro- 
 bably took general ideas, or particular pas- 
 sages. Rabelais — Beroalde — D'Aubigne — 
 Bouchet — Bruscambille — Scarron — Swjt — 
 Gabriel John. 
 
 Oome of my readers may probably find 
 themselves introduced, in this chapter, to 
 some very strange acquaintances, and may 
 experience a sensation like that which ac- 
 companies the first entrance into a gallery of 
 ancient portraits; where the buff and old 
 iron, the black skull-caps, wide ruffs and 
 farthingales, however richly bedecked, con- 
 ceal, for a while, the expression and the 
 charms of the best features. With a little 
 
84 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 patience, it will appear that wit, like beauty, 
 can break through the most unpromising 
 disguise. 
 
 From Rabelais, Sterne seems to have 
 caught the design of writing a general Saiire 
 on the abuse of speculative opinions. The 
 dreams of Rabelais's commentators have in- 
 deed discovered a very different intcndon 
 in his book, but ^^ have his own authority 
 for rejecting their surmises as groundless. 
 In the dedication of part of his work to Car- 
 dinal Chastillon, he mentions the political al- 
 lusions imputed to him, and disclaims them 
 expressly. He declares, that he wrote for the 
 recreation of persons languishing in sick- 
 ness, or under the pressure of grief and 
 anxiety, and that his joyous prescripuon 
 had succeeded with many paugnts. Que 
 plusiturs gens, langoureux, malades, ou autre- 
 menl Jachez ct desolez, avoient a la lecture 
 £ icelles trompe leur ennui, temps joy euiement 
 passe, et repie allegresse et consolation nou- 
 velle. And he adds, seultment avois egari 
 et intention par escrit donncr ce pen de souU 
 
OF STERNE. 25 
 
 agement que pouvois h affligez et malades 
 absens. The religious disputes, which then 
 agitated Europe, were subjects of ridicule 
 too tempting to be withstood, especially as 
 Rabelais was protected by the Chastillon fa. 
 mily ; this, with his abuse of the monks, ex- 
 cited such a clamour against him, that 
 Francis i. felt a curiosity to hear his book 
 read, and as our author informs us, found 
 nothing improper in it.* 
 
 The birth and education of Pantagruel 
 evidently gave rise to those of Mariinus 
 Scriblerus, and both were fresh in Sterne's 
 memory, when he composed the first chap- 
 ters of Tristram Shandy. 
 
 Jt must be acknowledged, that the appli- 
 cation of the satire is more clear in Rabelais, 
 than in his imitators. Rabelais attacked 
 boldly the scholastic mode of education, in 
 that part of his work ; and shewed the supe- 
 riority of a natural method of instruction, 
 ^Iore accommodated to the feelings and ca- 
 
 ♦ £t n' avail trouvc fasstgt qukun susptct. 
 
26 ILXUSTRATIONS 
 
 pacities of the young. But Stenie, and the 
 authors of Scriblerus, appear to ridicule the 
 folly of some individual! for no public 
 course of education has ever been proposed, 
 similar to that which they exhibit. 
 
 Perhaps it was Sterne's purpose, to deride 
 the methods of shortening the business of 
 education, which several ingenious men 
 liave amused themselves by contriving. The 
 LuUian art, which was once much celebrat- 
 ed, was burlesqued by Swift, in his Project 
 of a Literary Turning Machine, in the Voy- 
 age to Laputa. Des Cartes has defined Lul- 
 jy's plan to be, the art of prating copiously^and 
 uiihout judgment, concerning things of which 
 we are ignorant :* an art so generally, prac- 
 tised in our times, that its author is no more 
 thought of than the inventor of the compass. 
 Lully's seems to have been similar to the 
 fortune-telling schemes which we see on the 
 Jadies' fans, that enable any person to give 
 
 * Ats Lullii, ad copiosc, et sine judicio de iit 
 qux nescimus garrlendum. Brucktr, Histor. 
 Critic. Philos. t. ij. p. 205. 
 
OF STERNE. 27 
 
 an answer to any question, without under- 
 standing either one or the other. Erasmus 
 touched briefly on this subject, in his Ars 
 Noioria, where he has exposed, in a few 
 words, the folly of desiring to gain know- 
 ledge, without an adequate exertion .of the 
 fiiculties. Providence, as he says finely, has 
 decreed, that those common acquisitions, mo- 
 ney, gems, plate, noble mansions, and domi- 
 nion, should be sometimes bestowed on the in- 
 dolent and unworthy ; but those things which 
 constitute our true riches, and which are pro- 
 perly our own, must be procured by our own 
 labour.* Those who seldom knew the want 
 of power on other occasions, have felt it on 
 ■this: DioNYSius and Frederick both 
 •experienced, that there is no royal road to 
 the genuine honours of literature. 
 
 If Stemc-had been sufficiently acquainted 
 
 * Atquf SIC visum est superis. Opes istas vul- 
 gares, aurum, gemmas, argentum, palatia, regnum, 
 nonnunquam largiuntur ignavis et immcrenti- 
 uus; sed quae verx sunt opes, ac propria Dostrae 
 sunt, volucrunt parari laboribus. 
 
sB ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 •with the philosophical systems of his time, 
 he might have convened the Lullian art, in- 
 to an excellent burlesque of the Leibnitzian 
 doctrine of pre-established harmony, then 
 warmly discussed, and now completely for- 
 gotten. He seems to have avoided wiih 
 care every controversial subject, which could 
 involve him in difficulties. I observe in 
 the sneer at Water-landish knowledge, aniong 
 the criticisms of Yorick's sermons, a slight 
 glance at a celebrated theological dispute ; 
 but, like his own monk, he had looked 
 down at the prebendary's vest, and the hectic 
 passed away in a moment. * 
 
 It would be tedious to point out every pa- 
 rallel passage, between Sterne, and an au- 
 thor whose book is in every one's hand& 
 One of the conversations in Tritram Shan- 
 dy, is borrowed completely from the French- 
 man. 
 
 • Dr. Brown's Estimate is referred to in another 
 passage, so obscurely, that modern readers ca^ 
 hardly recognize it. 
 
OF STERNE. 89 
 
 « Now Ambrose Parxus convinced my 
 father, that the true and efficient cause of 
 what had engaged so much the attention of 
 the world, and upon which Prignitz and 
 Scroderus had wasted so much learning and 
 fine parts — was neither this nor that — but 
 that the length and goodness of the nose, 
 was owing simply to the softness and flac- 
 cidity of the nurse's breast — as the flatness 
 and shortness of puisne noses was, to the 
 firmness and elastic repulsion of the same 
 organ of nutrition in the heal and lively — 
 which, though happy for the woman, was 
 the undoing of the child, inasmuch as his 
 nose was so snubbed, so rebuifed, so rebat- 
 ed, and so refrigerated thereby, as never to 
 arrive ad mensuram suam legitimam; — but 
 that in case of the flaccidity and softness of 
 the nurse or mother's breast — by sinking ini 
 to it, qouth Paraeus, as into so mudi butter, 
 the nose was comforted, nourished, &c."* 
 
 " the causes of short and long noses. 
 
 • Tristram Shandy, vol, iii. chap, xxjtviii.' 
 
30 ILLUSTRATIOJfS 
 
 There is no cause but one, replied my un- 
 cle Toby, — why one man's nose is longef 
 than another's, but because that God pleaser 
 to have it so. That is Grangousier's solu-. 
 tion, said my Father. — 'Tis he, continued 
 my uncle Toby, looking up, and not re- 
 garding my Father's interruption, who 
 makes us all, and frames and puts us to- 
 gether, in such forms and proportions, and 
 for such ends, as is agreeable to his infinite-, 
 wisdom."* 
 
 " Pourquoy, dit Gargantua, est ce que 
 frere Jean a si beau nez ? Par ce (repon- 
 dit Grangousier) qu'ainsi Dieu I'avoulu, 
 lequel nous fait en telle forme, & telle fin, 
 selon son divin arbitre, que fait un potier ses 
 vaisseaux. Par ce (dit Ponocratesj qu'il. 
 fut des premiers a la foire des nez. II print- 
 de plus beaux & des plus grands, Trut 
 avant (dit le moine) selon la vraye Philoso. 
 phie Monastique, c'est, par ce que ma 
 Nourrice avoit les tetins molets, en 1' allaic- 
 
 • Tristram Shandy, vol. iii. chap, xli. 
 
OV STERNE. 3t 
 
 tant, mon nez y enfrondroit comme en 
 beurre, et la s' eslevoit et croissoit comme 
 la paste dedans la mets. Les durs tetms des 
 Nourrices font les enfans camus. Mais gay^ 
 gay, ad fonnam nasi cognoscitur ad te le- 
 vavi."* 
 
 Sterne even condescended to adopt some 
 of those lively extravagancies, which (as 
 Rabelais declares that he wrote " en man- 
 geant & buvant") would tempt us to be- 
 lieve that the Gallic wit, like Dr. King, 
 sometimes " Drank till he could not speak, 
 and then he writ." 
 
 " Bon jour! good morrow! — so 
 
 you have got your cloak on betimes 1 but 
 'tis a cold morning, and you judge the mat- 
 ter rightly — 't is better to be well mounted 
 than go o'foot — and obstructions in the 
 glands are dangerous — And how goes it with 
 thy concubine — thy wife — and thy little 
 ones o' both sides ? and when did you hear 
 from the old geqdeman and lady, &c.t 
 
 • Liy. 1. chap. xli. 
 
 + Trittram Shandy, vol. viii. chap. iii. 
 
3* IL1USTRATION8 
 
 «« Gens de bien," says Rabeiais," « Dieu 
 vous sauve et gard. Ou estes vous? je ne 
 peux vous voir. Attendez que je chausse 
 mes lunettes. Ha, ha, bien & beau s* en 
 va Quaresme, je vous voy. Et doncques? 
 Vous avez eu bonne vinee, a ce que 1' on 
 m' a dit. Vous, vos femmes, enfans, 
 
 parens et families estes en sante desiree. 
 Cela va bien, cela est bon, cela me plaist — " 
 &c 
 
 Beroalde, Sieur de Verville, a 
 canon of the cathedral of Tours, consider- 
 ed his reputation as a wit,' more than as a 
 clergyman, in his Moyen de Parvenir. pub- 
 lished in 1599; a book disgusting by its 
 grossness, but extremely curious, from the 
 striking pictures which it offers, of the man- 
 ners and knowledge of the age. From him, 
 I suspect, Sterne look Mr. Shandy's repar- 
 tee to Obadiah. 
 
 " My father had a little favourite mare, 
 which he had consigned over to a most 
 beautiful Arabian horse, in order to have a 
 pad out of her for his own riding ; he was 
 
OF ST£RNt. 33 
 
 sanguine in all his projects; so talked about 
 his pad every day with as absolute a securi- 
 ty, as if it had been reared, broke, bridled 
 and saddled at his door ready for mounting- 
 By some neglect or other in Obadiah, it so 
 fell out, that my father's expectations were 
 'answered with nothing better than a mule, 
 and as ugly a beast of the kind as ever was 
 produced. 
 
 « My mother and my uncle Toby ex- 
 pected my father would be the death of 
 Obadiah, and that there never would be an 
 end of the disaster. — See here ! you rasCal, 
 cried my father, pointing to the mule, what 
 you have done. — It was not I, said Oba- 
 diah — How do I know that? replied my 
 father."* 
 
 Un petit gar^on de Paris appella un 
 autre, fils de Putain, qui s'tn prit a pleurer, 
 et le vint dire a sa mere, qui lui dit : que ne 
 lui as-tu ,dit qu' il avoit menti ? £t que 
 savois-je, dit il.t 
 
 • Tristram Shandy, vol. v. chap. iii. 
 t Moyen de Farvenir, torn. i. p. 69. 
 
 D 
 
34 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 The Moyen de Parvenir has all the ab- 
 ruptness, and quickness of transition, which 
 Sterne was so fond of assuming. There is 
 also some galimatias, though not so much 
 as in Rabelais. I own it is possible, that 
 Sterne may have found this turn in some 
 other book, for Beroalde has furnished sub- 
 jects of pillage to a great number of au- 
 thors. He mentions a curious badge of 
 party, which I think Sterne would have no- 
 ticed, if he had been acquainted with the 
 book. " Je me souviens qu' aux seconds 
 troubles nous etions en garnison a la Cha- 
 rlie. Etant en garde s' il passoit un homme 
 avec une braguette, nous I'appellions Pa- 
 piste, ct la lui coupions; c'etoit mal fait, 
 d' autant que sous tel signe y a de grancL/ 
 mysteres quclquefois caches. — Je m' en re- 
 pentis, et m' en allai a Cosne, ou nous nous 
 fimes soldats derechef, et nous mismes es 
 bandes catholiques. II nous avint une 
 autre cause de rcmords de conscience; c'est 
 que voyant ccs cbraguetes, les disions Hu- 
 guenots."* 
 
 • Moyen de Parvenir, torn. i. p. 59. 
 
or: STERNE. 35 
 
 The detection of imiutions is certainly, 
 in many cases, decided by taste, more than 
 by reasoning ; the investigation is slow, but 
 the conviction is rapid. 
 
 The skilful miner thus each cranny tries, 
 Where wrapt in dusky rocks the crysul lies, 
 Slow on the varying surface tracks his spoil, 
 Oft' leaves, and oft' renews his patient toil ; 
 Till to his watchful eye the secret line 
 Betrays the rich recesses of the mine; 
 Then the rude portals to his stroke give way ; 
 Th' imprison'd glories glitter on the day. 
 
 It is sufficiently evident, from the works 
 of Sterne's Eugenius,* that he, at least, was 
 deeply read in Beroalde, who wanted no- 
 thing but decency to render him an univer- 
 sal favourite. 
 
 Theodore Agrippa D'Aubigne is well 
 known by his historical works, in which, va- 
 luable and interesting as they are, he has not 
 always been able to conceal his satirical dis- 
 position. In his Baron de Faneste^ with all 
 
 * Johil Hall Stevenson, Esq, of Skelton Castle. 
 
3^ ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 the extravagance of the Gascon, we arc so 
 consantly recalled to right and severe reason 
 by the other characters, that it almost pro- 
 duces the full effect of genuine history on our 
 minds. We discover, in every page, the 
 caustic moralist, the unconupted and indig- 
 nant courtier, unable to conceal the foibles 
 pf a monarch, whom he loved and served 
 but too faithfully, and impatient of those 
 ^vho acquired the favour of Henry, by shew- 
 ing more indulgence to his weaknesses. This 
 book may be considered, in some measure, 
 as a supplement to his general history, for it 
 contains much secret anecdote, as well as the 
 most curious particulars respecting manners. 
 
 Perhaps the story of Pautrot, and the 
 lady de Noaille, in this book, suggested to 
 Sterne the scene with the Piedmontese lady, 
 in his Sentimental Journey, 
 
 There is stronger reason to believe that 
 Sterne took the hint of beginning some of 
 his sermons, in a startling and unusual man- 
 ner, from this source. D'Aubigne, who 
 seems to have been a man of deep religious 
 
OF STERNE. 37 
 
 impressions, has exposed, with equal keen- 
 ness, the extravagancies of the monks, and 
 of the ministers. He mentions one of the 
 latter, who began a sermon thus; Par la 
 vertu ^e Dieu^ par la mart de Dieu, par la 
 chair de Dieu, par le iavg de Dieu.: and 
 added after a long pause, nous scmmrs snuvez^ 
 et delivrejf de I' en/er. Several instances in 
 the same taste, but not so well authenticated, 
 may be found in the Passe Temps agreabfe- 
 I must here vindicate Sterne from a 
 charge of plagiarism, which has been made 
 from inattention to dates. It has been said, 
 that he borrowed much from the history of 
 Friar Gerund; and many parallel passages 
 have been cited (as they well might) to 
 prove the assertion. The truth is, that the 
 history of Friar Gerund, composed by Fa- 
 ther /s/fl, to ridicule the absurdities of the 
 itinerant Spanish preachers, was published 
 in Spain, the very same year in which the 
 two first volumes of Tristram Shandy ap- 
 peared. It was translated into English, 
 several years aftenvards, by Baretti, who 
 
38 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 thought proper to imiute, in his translation, 
 the style of Tristram Shandy, then extreme- 
 ly popular. If any plagiarisms exist, there- 
 fore, they are chargeable on Baretti. 
 
 The original of Friar Gerund appeared 
 in 1758; the translation in 1772. 
 
 As a specimen of D'Aubigne's style, 
 which unites the severe and the ludicrous, I 
 shall quote the following strokes on a con- 
 troversial point 
 
 " Your devotions," says the Baron, speak- 
 ing of the reformed, " are invisible, and 
 your church is invisible." — " Why do you 
 not finish," retorts his oponent, " by re- 
 proaching us, like savages, that our God is 
 invisible?" — " But we would have every 
 thing visible," cries the Baron. C est pour' 
 quoi, replies the other, enlre les reliqua de 
 S. Front on trouva dam ■une pttitc phiole un 
 esttrnument du S. Esprit. 
 
 D'Aubigne y/is so fond of writing epi- 
 grams, that he could not abstain fi-om them, 
 even in his history. He had no great ge- 
 nius for poetry, but his epigrams are general- 
 
OF STERNE. 39 
 
 ly acute, though better turned in the thought 
 than the expression. 
 
 One of them, which is introduced in the 
 Baron de Focneste, is written for a man of 
 distinction, whose wife finding his mistress 
 very ill drest, thought fit to clothe her anew. 
 LorSy says the Baron in his jargon, lou mon- 
 sur boiant cctte vraberie, en dit ce petit mout, 
 
 Oui, ma femme, il est tout certain 
 Que c' est vain^ re la jalousie, 
 £t UD trait de grand courtoisie 
 D' avoir revestu maputin. 
 Si je veux, comme la merveille 
 £t 1' excellence des maris, 
 Rendre a vos ribaux la pareille, 
 Cela ne se peut qu' a Paris. 
 
 I own, my life, beyond all doubt, 
 Your merit great, your conduct sage. 
 Since spurning jealous qualms and rage, 
 You 've deck'd my girl so smartly out. 
 If I, attentive to your wants. 
 Our mutual confidence to crown, 
 Should do as much for your gallants, 
 'T would empty half the shops in town. 
 
40 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 This, and many other passages in the 
 ■writers of those times, shew that the disso- 
 lute conduct of the gay circles in France is 
 not of modern date. The turn of the lines 
 I have just quoted, is in the taste of Vol- 
 taire or Bernis. In fact, the great corrup- 
 tion of manners took place in the time of 
 Francis i. who sacrificed to the ostentation, 
 and the future elegance of the court, eyeiy 
 principle leading to true happiness. 
 
 Another epigram of D'Aubigne's was 
 founded on a repartee of Henry i v. in his 
 youth. 
 
 Sylvia her gambling nephew chides, 
 "With many a sharp and pithy sentence; 
 The graceless youth her care derides. 
 Yet seems to promise her repentance: 
 " When you, dear aunt, relinquish man, 
 Expect me to abandon gaining." 
 The prudent matron shakes her fan; 
 " Go, rogue, I find you 're past reclaiming." 
 
 The same thought has been turned by 
 
 some of the modern French epigrammatists. 
 
 The question respecting the sincerity of 
 
OF STERNE. 4I 
 
 Henry's conversion seems pretty clearly de- 
 cided in the Baron de FcEnesie, in the chap- 
 ter on Nuns, book iv. chapter xii. 
 
 Sterne has generally concealed the sources 
 of his curious trains of investigation, and 
 uncommon opinions, but in one instance he 
 ventured to break through his restraint, by 
 mentibning Bouchet's Evening Conferences^ 
 among the treasures of Mr. Shandy's li- 
 brary. This book is now become so ex 
 tremely scarce, that for a long period, it has 
 escaped all my enquiries, and the most per- 
 severing exertions of my friends. Some of 
 the most curious collectors of books, among 
 whom I need only mention the late excel- 
 lent Dr. Farmer, informed me that they had 
 never seen it. I owe to the indefatigable 
 kindness of Thomas Thompson, Esq. 
 M. P. the satisfaction of perusing an odd 
 volume of this work. I have great reason 
 to believe that it was in the Sk.£lton li- 
 brary some years ago, where I suspect 
 )§terne found most of the authors of this 
 
42 ILLUSTRATIOKS 
 
 class; for Mr. Hall's poetry shevrs that he 
 knew and read them much. 
 
 The Serees of Bouchet consist of a set of 
 regular conversations, held, as the title im- 
 plies, in the evening, generally during sup- 
 per, and may be regarded as transcripts of 
 the petits soupers of that age. A subject of 
 discussion is proposed each evening, gene- 
 rally by the host, and it is treated charac- 
 teristically, with a mixture of great know- 
 ledge and light humour. Every conversa- 
 tion concludes with a jest. The chief diar- 
 acters, supported through the whole volume 
 which I have seen, are, a man of learning, 
 such as the times afforded ; a soldier, very 
 fond of talking over his past dangers; 
 a physician, who is sometimes found defi- 
 cient in his philosophy; and a droll, who 
 winds up all with his raillery. The conver- 
 sations are not, indeed, connected by any 
 narrative, but I entertain little doubt, that 
 from the perusal of this work, Sterne con- 
 ceived the first precise idea of his Tristram, 
 as far as any thing can be called precise, in 
 
OF STERNE. 43 
 
 a desultory book, apparently written with 
 great rapidity. The most ludicrous and 
 extravagant parts of the book seem to have 
 dwelt upon Sterne's mind, and he appears 
 to have frequently recurred to them from 
 memory. In the twenty-ninth Seree^ for 
 example, there is a long and very able dis- 
 cussion of the causes of colour in negroes ; 
 and Bouchet has anticipated most of the ob- 
 jections which are made to the supposition, 
 that the darkness of their complexion is 
 produced by the heat of the climate. In 
 the course of the Scree, it is asked, why ne- 
 groes are flat-nosed, and this question brings 
 into play the subject of noses, so often in» 
 troduced in Tristram Shandy. 
 
 I extract the following passages as speci- 
 mens of Bouchet's manner: the reader may 
 not be displeased to acquire some idea of 4 
 book so uncommon. 
 
 - jfe me trouvaf. un jour a la talk d'un 
 grand Seigneur, ou nous eiions bien empeschez 
 a rendre la raison, pourquoy en Espagne on 
 faiioit les pains plus grands qu en France on 
 
44 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 Italic. Les %ins disoicnt que c' atoit d came 
 que le grand pain sc ticnt plus Jraii que le 
 petit, et qu il ne se desseiche pas ii tost, estant 
 I' Espagne fort chaude. Les autres souste- 
 noient que les Espagnols avoient leurs fours 
 plus grands que les autres peuples,parce qu' ils 
 disent que le pain est meilleur cuit tnun grand 
 four qu' en un petit, le pain cuit en un 
 petit four ne cuisant pas esgallement, comme 
 en un grand, dies fours d' Espagne estant 
 grande, ce n at pas de merveilles s' lis font les 
 pains grands, et aussi qu a V enforn'r on 
 faict les pains cornus. Le tiers disnit, que 
 tant plus le pain estoit grand, tanl plus on le 
 tnuvoit savour eux et meilliur, ay ant plus dc 
 vertu 6? faculte assemblie, ccmme le vin est 
 plus fort i3 meilleur en unepippe qu'enun bui'- 
 sard. Que le grand pain, adjoustoit-il, soil 
 meilleur qu^ le petit, cela sepcut-prouver de a 
 qu il y avoit dtsfcstes, qui se nommoient Me~ 
 galartia, a came de la grandeur des pains, 
 doni le pain estoit estime sur tons les autreSy 
 (3 aussi bon que celiiy de la ville d' Eresus, si 
 ncus croyons au poete Archestrate, pour lequel 
 
OF STERNE. 45 
 
 pain Mercure prenoit bien la peine de de- 
 scendre du del, et en venir /aire provision 
 pour Its dieux. Et auai quand le pain est 
 petitf il se brusle par la crouste, (3 demeure 
 mal cuit ail dedans^ par V obstacle de la crouste 
 havie : et si la paste croist et leve mieux quand 
 il y en d beauccup, que quand il rC y en d 
 gueres, cotnme on dit que la paste se leve mieux 
 durant la pleine Lune qu en un autre temps. 
 Lors un Icurdaut qui servoit a la table, nous 
 voyant en si grand debat, se va mocquer de 
 nous, de ce qu' estions empeschez en si pen de 
 chose., (3 nous va dire, que les Espagnols fai~ 
 soient leurs pains plus grands qu ailleurs, 
 parce qu'ilsy mettoient plus de paste.* 
 
 Another of his speakers tells the follow- 
 ing story. 
 
 Ce maitre qui estoit de nos Screes, nous 
 conta qu un jour il demanda d un sien mes- 
 tayer comme il se portoit depuis deux on trois 
 jours que sa/emme estoit morte, lesquel hi re- 
 
 * Screes, torn. iii. p. 204. This edition was 
 published at Paris, 1608. 
 
45 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 sponiit, Quandje revins de V enterrctncnt ie 
 mafemmet »»' essj^ant les yeux, et travaillatU 
 d plorer, chacun me disoit, compere^ ne U 
 soucie, je Sfay hien ton fait, je te donneray 
 bicn icne autre femme. Helas 1 me disoit-ily 
 on ne me disoit point ainsi,quandf eu perdu 
 I' une de mes vaches* 
 
 How far Stcme was obliged to Bouchet 
 for particular passages, I am unable to <lc- 
 cide, having never seen the greater part of 
 the Sereii. 
 
 There was more reason to have represent- 
 ed the acquisition of this book as matter of 
 triumph, than the purchase of Bruscainbille, 
 Mr. Shandy has the good fortune, we arc 
 told, to get Bruscambille's Prologue on Noses 
 almost for nothing — that is, for three half, 
 crowns. " There are not three Bruscam- 
 billes in Christendom — said the stall-man, 
 except what are chained up in the libraries 
 of the curious. My father flung down the 
 money as quick as lighming — took Bnis- 
 
 * Screes, p. 216. 
 
or STERNE. 47 
 
 cambille into his bosom — hyed home from 
 Piccadilly to Coleman-street with it, as he 
 would have hyed home with a treasure, 
 without taking his hand once off from Brus- 
 cambille all the way."* This is excellently 
 calculated to excite the appeute of literary 
 epicures, but the book in question is not 
 sufficiendy entertaining to gratify much ex- 
 pectadon. It consists of occasional pro- 
 logues, in prose, a species of amusement 
 much in vogue during the reign of Louis x 1 1 1 . 
 Tabarin, who seems to have been con- 
 temporary with Bruscambille, but more 
 "a merry-andrew than a comedian, published 
 his dialogues with his master, and his pro- 
 logues, about the same time.t They both 
 stole largely from the Moyen de Parvenir^ 
 as the editor of that book has observed. 
 
 • Tristram Shandy, vol. iii. chap. xxxv. 
 ■f Tabaria is mentioned in the Description of 
 the Winter in Paris, by Boisrokrt, an officer of 
 Cardinal Richlieu. 
 
 Tout divertissement nous manque: 
 Tabarin ne va plus en banque. 
 
48 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 The original copy of the Pemees Factticusti 
 de Bruicambille was published in 1623, mine 
 was printed at Cologne, in 1741. 
 
 There is little merit in this mass of buf- 
 foonery; the only originality consists in its 
 galimatias ; however, as the book is not easi- 
 ly to be procured, I shall insert the Prologue 
 on Noses among tjie notes, that no future 
 collector may sigh for Bruscambille.* 
 
 The false taste of Scarrons humour has 
 occasioned a general neglect of his works ; 
 it was by mere accident that I discovered 
 the origin of a very interesting scene in the 
 Sentimental Journey, in taking up the Ro- 
 man Comique. It is the chapter of the 
 Dwarf, which every reader of Sterne must 
 immediately recollect, but I shall transcribe 
 that part which is directly taken from Scar- 
 ron. 
 
 " A poor defenceless being of this order 
 [a dwarf], had got thrust somehow or other 
 into this luckless place [the parterre] — the 
 night was hot, and he was surrounded by 
 
 • See note V, 
 
OT STERNE. 49 
 
 beings two feet and a half higher than him- 
 self. The dwarf suffered inexpressibly on 
 all sides; but the thing which incommoded 
 him most, was a tall corpulent German, near 
 seven feet high, who stood between him and 
 all possibility of his seeing either the stage 
 or the actors. The poor dwarf did all he 
 could to get a peep at what was going for- 
 wards, by seeking for some little opening 
 betwixt the German's arm and his body, 
 trying first one side and then the other; but 
 the German stood square in the most unac- 
 commodating posture that can be imagined 
 —the dwarf might as well have been placed 
 at the bottom of the deepest draw-well in 
 Paris; so he civilly reached up his hand to 
 the German's sleeve, and told him his dis- 
 tress. — The German turned his head back, 
 looked down upon him, as Goliah did upon 
 David — and unfeelingly resumed his pos- 
 ture." 
 
 Such was the distress of Scarron's dis- 
 astrous hero, Ragolin. " II vint tard a la 
 comedie, 8c pour la punition de ses pechez, 
 
50 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 il se pla^a derriere un gentilhomme ^ large 
 eschine, et couvert d'une grosse casaque 
 qui grossissoit beaucoup sa figure. II etoit 
 d' une taille si haute au dessus des plus 
 grandes, qu' encore qu' il fut assis, Ragotin 
 qui n' etoit separe de lui que d' un rang de 
 sieges, crut qu' il etoit debout, et lui cria 
 incessament qu' il assit comme les autres, ne 
 pouvant croire qu' un homme assis ne dust 
 pas avoir sa tete au niveau de toutes celles 
 de la compagnie. Ce gentilhomme qui se 
 nommoit la Baguenodiere, ignora longtemps 
 que Ragotin parlat. a lui. Enfin Ragotin 
 r appella Mr. a la plume verte, et comme 
 veritablement il en avoit une bien toufFue, 
 bien sale, et peu fine, il tourna la teste, et 
 vit le petit impatient qui lui dit assez rude- 
 ment qu'il s' assit. La Baguenodiere en 
 fut si peu emu, qu' il se retouma vers le 
 theatre, comme si de rien n' eut etc. Ra- 
 gotin lui recria encore qu' il s' assiL II 
 tourna encore la tcte devcrs lui ; le regarda, 
 et se retourna vers le theatre. Ragotin re- 
 cria, Baguenodiere tourna la tete pour la 
 
OF STERNE. 51 
 
 troisieme fois; regarda son homme, et pour 
 la troisieme fois se retourna vers le theatre. 
 Tant que dura la comcdie, Ragotin lui cria 
 de meme force qu'il assit, et la Baguenodiere 
 le regarda toujours d' un meme flegme, ca- 
 pable de faire enrager tout le genre hu- 
 main."* 
 
 For the mean and disgusting turn which 
 this story receives in the Roinan ComiquCt 
 Sterne has substituted a rich and beautiful 
 chain of incidents which takes the strongest 
 'hold on our feelings. He has in no instance 
 of his imitations shewed a truer taste : the 
 character of Scarron's manner, indeed, is 
 that it always disappoints expectation. 
 
 That Sterne frequently had in view the 
 Tale of a Jm^, in composing Tristram Shandy^ 
 cannot be doubted : Swift's Dissertation on 
 Ears probably contributed towards Sterne's 
 digressions on Noses, which shall be consider* 
 ed hereafter. I do not know that it has been 
 observed, that in this pleasant and acute 
 
 < Roman Comtque, tooi. ii. chap. xvii. 
 
52 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 satire, Swift has formed his manner very 
 much upon that of John Eachard. The 
 style of Swift is much superior in correct- 
 ness of taste, but the turn of pleasantry is 
 very similar, and has little in common with 
 other writers. Eachard was a writer of great 
 celebrity in Swift's early days, when he com- 
 posed his Tale of a Tub, a work produced 
 in the vigour of his fancy, and the first heat 
 of his literary attainments. 
 
 I shall not presume to determine whether 
 Sterne made any use of a whimsical book, 
 apparcndy published about the year 1748, 
 (for it has no date) under the title of. An 
 Essay towards the Theory of the Intelligible 
 World, by Gabriel John. It is a pretty close 
 copy of the Tale of a Tub in manner; some 
 appearances of imitation may, therefore, be 
 supposed to result from the common refer- 
 ence of both writers to Swift. If Sterne 
 can be supposed to have taken any thing 
 from this book, it must be the hint of his mar- 
 bled pages. The author of Gabriel John has 
 covered almost the whole of his 163d page 
 
OF STERNS. 53 
 
 with dashes, thus — ■ and he ob- 
 serves in a corner; The author very -well un 
 derstands, that a good sizeable hiatus discovers 
 a very great genius, there being no wit in the 
 world more idtal, and consequently more re~ 
 Jiruds than what is displayed in those elaborate 
 pages, that have ne'er a syllable written on 
 them. The only subject of doubt respect- 
 ing the charge of imitation in this case is, 
 that Sterne may be allowed to have possess- 
 ed sufficient genius to extend one of Swift's 
 hiatus over a whole leaf, without the aid of 
 our anonymous writer. 
 
 The essay in question was professedly 
 composed to sadrize Norris's Theory of the 
 Ideal World; but Hobbes (whose reveries 
 still retained the much injured name of phi- 
 losophy), Bendey, and Wotton, the ob- 
 jects of Swift's satire, were made equal vic- 
 tims of our author's ridicule. The book 
 contains several poems which have no ap- 
 parent connecuon with the general design, 
 excepting some parodies of Dr. Bentley's 
 peculiar system of emendation. It must be 
 
54 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 owned, that the author had warned the readc 
 er, with uncommon candour, in the title- 
 page, that he should introduce other strange 
 things, not insufferably clever, nor furiously to 
 the purpose ; the worst that can be said of 
 him therefore, is, that he has kept his word. 
 " Why," says our poet, " may not ima- 
 gination trace the noble dust of Alexander, 
 till he find it stopping a bung-hole ?" These 
 masters of ridicule may be tracked to a state 
 of similar degradation, through the works of 
 estimable writers, to miserable farces, and at 
 length to the jest-books, where the dregs of 
 different authors are so effectually intermin- 
 gled, that the brightest wit is confounded 
 with the vilest absurdity. 
 
Pr STERNE. 55 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 Other writers imitated by Sterne — Burton 
 — Bacon — ^lount — Montaigne — Bishop 
 Hall. 
 
 Sterne was no friend to gravity, for 
 which he had very good reasons; it was a 
 quality which excited his disgust, even in 
 authors who hved in times that exacted an 
 appearance of it. Like the manager in the 
 Farce,* he sometimes " took the best part of 
 their tragedy to put it into his own come- 
 dy." Previous to the Reformation, great 
 latitude in manners was assumed by the 
 flergy. Bandello, who published three 
 
 • The Critic. 
 
$6 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 volumes of tales, in which he often laid aside 
 decorum, was a bishop; and perhaps some 
 of Sterne's friends expected him to become 
 one also, without considering the severity of 
 conduct required in protestant prelates. 
 His friend Hall has run the parallel to my 
 hands. 
 
 Why may 'nt Bamoelio have a rap? 
 Why may 'nt I imitate Bakoeuio ? 
 There never was a prelate's cap 
 Bestow'd upon a droller fellow. 
 Like TmsTRAM in mirth delighting; 
 I'ike Tristram a pleasant writer; 
 Like his, I hope that TRisTHAM't writing 
 Will be rewarded with a mitre* 
 
 Sterne has contrived to give a ludicrious 
 turn to those passages which he took from 
 Burton's Anatoviy of Melancholy ^ a book, 
 once the favourite of the learned and the 
 witty, and a source of surreptitious learning 
 to many others besides our author.+ I had 
 
 • Zachary's Tale, 
 t See note II. 
 
or STERNE. ^J 
 
 often wondered at the pains bestowed by 
 Stenie in ridiculing opinions not fashion- 
 able in his time, and had thought it singular, 
 that he should produce the portrait of his 
 sophist, Mr. Shandy, with all the stains and 
 mouldiness of the last century about him. 
 I am now convinced that most of the sin. 
 gularities of that character were drawn from 
 the perusal of Burton. 
 
 The strange title of Tristram Shandy, and 
 the assumption of the name of Yorick, were 
 probably suggested by a passage in Burton's 
 preface, where he apologizes for styling him- 
 self Democritus junior, and for his title-page. 
 
 •* If the tide and inscription offend your 
 gravity, were it a sufficient justification to 
 accuse others, I could produce many sober 
 treatises, even sermons themselves^ which in 
 their fronts carry more fantastical names. 
 Howsoever it is a kind of policy in these 
 days, to prefix a fantastical tide to a book 
 which is to be sold : for as larks come down 
 to a day-net, many vain readers will urry 
 and stand gazing, like silly passengers, at an 
 
§8 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 antic picture in a p?iinter's shop, that will 
 not look at a judicious piece." The hint re- 
 specting sermons was not lost upon Sterne. 
 
 The Anatomy of Milancholy, though writ- 
 ten on a regular plan, consists chiefly of quo- 
 tations : the author has honestly termed it a 
 cento. He collects, under every division, 
 the opinions of a multitude of writers, with- 
 out regard to chronological order, and has 
 too often the modesty to decline the inter- 
 position of his own sentiments. Indeed the 
 bulk of his materials generally overwhelms 
 him. In the course of his folio, he has con- 
 trived to treat a great variety of topics, that 
 seem very loosely connected with the gene- 
 ral subject, and, like Bayle, when he starts 
 a favourite train of quotations, he does not 
 scruple to let the digression outrun the prin- 
 cipal question. Thus from the doctrines 
 of religion to military disciphne, from in- 
 land navigation to the morality of dancingr 
 schools, every thing is discussed and deter* 
 mined. 
 
 In his introductory address to the reader, 
 
OF STERNE. 59 
 
 •where he indulges himself in an Utopian 
 sketch of a perfect government (with due 
 homage previously paid to the character of 
 James i.), we find the origin of Mr. Shan- 
 dy's notions on this subject. The passages 
 are too long to be transcribed. 
 
 The quaintness of many of his divisions 
 seems to have given Sterne the hint of his 
 ludicrous titles to several chapters; and the 
 risible effect of Burton's grave endeavours 
 to prove indisputable facts by weighty quo- 
 tations, he has happily caught, and some- 
 times well burlesqued. The archness which 
 Burton displays occasionally, and his indul- 
 gence of playful digressions from die most 
 serious discussions, often give his style an air 
 of familiar conversation, notwithstanding the 
 laborious collections which supply his text. 
 He was capable of writing excellent poe- 
 try, but he seems to have cultivated this 
 talent too litde. The English verses pre- 
 fixed to his book, which possess beautiful 
 imagery, and great sweetness of versification, 
 have been frequently published. His Latin 
 
Go ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 elegiac verses addressed to his book shew a 
 very agreeable turn for raillery. 
 
 When the force of the subject opens his 
 own vein of prose, we discover valuable 
 sense and brilliant expression. Such is his 
 account of the first feelings of melancholy 
 persons, written, probably, from his own ex- 
 perience. " Most pleasant it is, at first, to 
 such as are melancholy given, to lie in bed 
 whole days, and keep their chambers; to 
 walk alone in some solitary grove, betwixt 
 wood and water, by a brook side, to medi- 
 tate upon some delightsome and pleasant 
 subject, which shall affect them most; ama- 
 iilis insania, and mentis gratissimus error : a 
 most incomparable delight it is so to melan- 
 cholize and build castles in the air, to go 
 smiling to themselves, acting an infinite va- 
 riety of parts, which they suppose, and 
 strongly imagine they represent, or that they 
 see acted or done.**** So delightsome these 
 toys are at first, they could spend whole 
 days and nights without sleep, even whole 
 ^ears alone in such contemplations and fan- 
 
OF STERNE. 6l 
 
 tastical meditations, which are like unto 
 dreams, and they will hardly be drawn from 
 them, or willingly interrupted ; so pleasant 
 their vain conceits are, that they hinder their 
 ordinary tasks and necessary business, they 
 cannot address themselves to them, or al- 
 most to any study or employment. These 
 fentasdcal and bewitching thoughts so co- 
 vertly, so feelingly, so urgendy, so continu- 
 ally set upon, creep in, insinuate, possess, 
 overcome, distract, and detain them; they 
 cannot, I say, go about their more necessaiy 
 business, stave off or extricate themselves, 
 but are ever musing, mclancholizing, and 
 carried along, as he (they say) that is led 
 round about a heath with a Pack in the 
 night, they run eamesdy on in this labyrinth 
 of anxious and solicitous melancholy medi- 
 tations, and cannot well or willingly refrain, 
 or easily leave off, winding and unwinding 
 themselves, as so many clocks, and still 
 pleasing their humours, until at last the scene 
 is turned upon a sudden, by some bad ob- 
 ject, and they being now habituated to such 
 
62 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 vain meditations and solitary places, can en* 
 dure no company, can ruminate of nothing 
 but harsh and distasteful subjects. Fear, 
 sorrow, suspicion, subrusticus pudor^ discon- 
 tent, cares, and weariness of life surprise 
 them in a moment, and they can think of no- 
 thing else, continually suspecting. No 
 sooner are their eyes open, but this infernal 
 plague or melancholy seizeth on them, and 
 terrifies their souls, representing some dismal 
 object to their minds, which now by no 
 means, no labour, no persuasions they can 
 avoid : hceret latcri Icthalis arunda."* This 
 passage should be carefully read by yourtjg 
 persons of fine taste and delicate sentiments, 
 for it contains a just account of the first in- 
 roads of melancholy on susceptible imagi- 
 nations. Nodiing is more seducuve, or 
 more hazardous to minds of this cast, than 
 that kind of mental luxuiy, which is gene- 
 
 • Anatomy of Melancholy, p. 52, 53. My copy 
 is the eighth edition, 1676. The first edition waft 
 published in i6i7« 
 
or STERNE. 63 
 
 rally called castle-building. It appears a 
 happy privilege to possess the direction of 
 an ideal world, into which we can withdraw 
 at pleasure, when disgusted with the gross 
 material scene before us. But in this fairy- 
 land lurk terrible phantoms, ready to seize 
 the incautious wanderer, in moments of de- 
 jection and weakness, and to deprive him 
 for ever of ease and liberty. 
 
 Burton has introduced a great part of these 
 ideas into his poetical abstract of melan- 
 choly. 
 
 Whea I go musing all alone, 
 Thinking of divers things fore-known. 
 When I build castles in the air. 
 Void of sorrow, void of fear, 
 Pleasing myself with phantoms sweet, 
 Methinks the time runs very fleet. 
 All my joys to this are folly, 
 Nought so sweet as melancholy. 
 
 When I go walking all alone. 
 Recounting what I have ill don«, 
 My thoughts on me then tyrranize. 
 Fear and sorrow me surprise ; 
 
64 ILLVSTRATIOKS 
 
 Whether I tarry still or go, 
 Methinks the time runs very slow: 
 All my griefs to this are jolly. 
 Nought so sad as melancholy. 
 
 When to myself I act and smile. 
 With pleasing thoughts the time beguile. 
 By a hrook-side, or wood so green, 
 Unheard, unsought for, and unseen, 
 A thousand pleasures do me bless. 
 And crown my soul with happiness. 
 All my joys beside are folly, 
 None so sweet as melancholy, &c.* 
 
 The first four chapters of Tristram Shan> 
 dy, are founded on some passages in Bur* 
 ton, which I shall transcribe. Sterne's im- 
 provements I shall leave to the reader's re- 
 collection. 
 
 • The resemblance between these verses, and 
 Milton's Allegro and Penseroso, has been -noticed 
 by Mr. Warton. One line in the former. 
 
 The Cynosure of neighbouring eyes, 
 was probably suggested by the following passage 
 in Burton; " She is his Cynosure, Hesperus, and 
 "Vesper, his morning and evening star," p. 316. 
 
OF STERKE. (j5 
 
 " Filii ex senibus nati raro sunt firmi 
 temperamenti, &c. Nam spiritus cerebri si 
 turn male afficiantur, talcs procreant, & 
 quales fuerint affectus, tales filiorum, ex 
 tristibus tristes, ex jucundisjucundi nascun- 
 tur. [Cardan.] " If she (the mother) be 
 over-dull, heavy, angry, peevish, dicontent- 
 ed, and melancholy, not only at the time of 
 conception, but even all the while she car- 
 ries the child in her womb (saith Fcrnelius) 
 her son will be so likewise, and worse, as 
 
 Lemnius adds, Sec. So many 
 
 w^ys are we plagued and punished for our 
 father's defaults ;* insomuch that as Ferne- 
 lius truly saith, it is the greatest part of our 
 felicity to be well-born, and it were happy 
 for human kind,t if only such parents as are 
 sound of body and mind should be suf- 
 fered to marry. Quanto id diligentius in 
 procreandis liberis observandum."J I can- 
 
 • This idea runs through Tristram Shandy. 
 + See Tristram Shandy, vol. viii. chap. 33, 
 X Anat. of Melanch, p. 37. edit, 1676. 
 Quanto id diligentius in liberis procreandis C3- 
 F 
 
66 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 not help thinking, that the first chapter or 
 two of the Memoirs of Scriblerus whetted 
 Sterne's invention, in this, as well as in other 
 instances of Mr. Shandy's peculiarides. 
 
 The forced introducuon of the sneer at 
 the term non-naturals,* used in medicinci 
 leads us back to Burton, who has insisted 
 largely and repeatedly, on the abuse of the 
 funcuons so denominated. 
 
 It is verj' singular, that in the introduc-* 
 lion to the Fragment on Whiskers, which 
 contains an evident copy, Sterne should 
 take occasion to abuse plagiarists. " Shall 
 we for ever make new books, as apothecaries 
 make new mixtures, by pouring only out of 
 one vessel into another ? Are we for ever 
 to be twisung and untwisting the same rope ? 
 
 vendum, sayeth Cardan. Tris. Shandy, vol. vi. 
 
 ch. 33- 
 
 *Tris. Shandy, vol. i. chap. 23. — "Why themost 
 
 natural actions of a man's life should be called 
 his non-naturals, is another question." See Bur> 
 ton, p. 39. The solution might be ea&ily given, 
 if it were worth repeating. 
 
OP STERNE. 67 
 
 for ever in the same track — for ever at the 
 same pace ?" And it is more singular that 
 all this declamation should be taken, word 
 for word) from Burton's introduction. 
 
 *' As apothecaries^ we make new mixtures 
 every day, pour out of one vessel into another ; 
 and as those old Romans robbed all the cities 
 of the world, to set out their bad-sited Rome^ 
 we skim off the cream cf ither men's wits, 
 pick the choice flowers oj iheir tilled gardens, 
 to set out our own sterile phts.*" Again, 
 *• We weave the same wib still, twist the same 
 rope again and again,"'^ 
 
 " Who made man, with powers which 
 dart him from earth to heaven in a moment 
 — that great, that most excellent, and most 
 noble creature of the world — the miracle of 
 nature, as Zoroaster in his book 'r:£p\ (pvieaig 
 called him — the Shekinah of the Divine 
 presence, as Chrysostom — the image of 
 God, as Moses — the ray of Divinity, ia 
 
 * Burton, p. 4« 
 f lb. p. £. 
 
68 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 Plato — the marvel of marvels, as Aristotle 
 — to go sneaking on at this pitiful, pimping, 
 pettyfogging rate ?" • 
 
 Who would suspect this heroic strain to 
 be a plagiarism ? yet such it is undoubtedly ; 
 and from the very first paragraph of the 
 Anatomy of Melancholy, t 
 
 Man, says Burton, the most excellent and 
 noble creature of the world, the principal and 
 mighty work, of God, wonder of nature, as 
 Zoroastes calls him; audacis naturcr miracu- 
 lum ; the marvel of marvels, as Plato ; the 
 alridgment and epitome of the world, as 
 Pliny; microcosmus, a little world, a model 
 of the world, sovereign lord of the earth, vice- 
 roy of the world, sole commander and gover- 
 nor of all the creatures in it *****, created of 
 God's own image, to that immortal and incor- 
 poreal substance, with all the faculties and 
 powers belonging to it, was at frst pure, di- 
 vine, perfect, happy, ©c. 
 
 • Tristram Shandy, vol. v. chap. i. 
 + Page 1. 
 
OF STZRNE. 69 
 
 *« One denier, cried the order of mercy — 
 one single denier, in behalf of a thousand 
 patient captives, whose eyes look towards 
 heaven and you for their redemption. 
 
 *< The Lady Baussiere rode on. 
 
 ** Pity the unhappy, said a devout, vene- 
 rable, hoary-headed man, meekly holding 
 up a box, begirt with iron, in his withered 
 hands — I beg for the unfortunate — good, my 
 lady, 't is for a prison — for an hospital — 't is 
 for an old man — a poor man undone by 
 shipwreck, by suretyship, by fire — I call 
 God and all his angels to witness — 't is to 
 clothe the naked — to feed the hungry — 
 t* is to comfort the sick and the broken- 
 hearted. 
 
 " The Lady Baussiere rode on. 
 
 " A decayed kinsman bowed himself to 
 the ground. 
 
 " The Lady Baussiere rode on. 
 
 *' He ran begging bare-headed on one 
 side of her palfrey, conjuring her by the 
 former bonds of friendship, alliance, con- 
 sanguinity, 8cc. — cousin, aunt, sister, mo- 
 
70 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 ther — for virtue's sake, for your own, for 
 mine, lor Christ's sake, remember me — pity 
 pae. 
 
 « The Lady Baussiere rode On."* 
 
 The citation of the original passage from 
 Burton will confirm all I have said of his 
 Style. 
 
 " A poor (decayed kinsman of his sets vpon 
 him by the way in all his jollity^ and runs beg- 
 ging bare-headed ly Lim, conjuring him by 
 those former bends of Jrienhhip, alliance^ con- 
 Sanguin ly, (3c. uncle, cousin, brct'.er,Jalhtr, 
 
 shew some pity for ChriiCs sake, pity a sick 
 
 man, an old man, &c. he cares mt, ride on : 
 pr (tend sit kness, inevitable loss of limbs, plead 
 suretyship, or ^hpwrect,Jires, common caia^ 
 mities, shew thy wants and imperfections, 
 swear, protest, take God and all his angels to 
 witness, quxre peregrin'im, ihou .art a coun* 
 terfeit crank, a cheater, he is not touched with 
 it, pauper ubique jac t, ride on, he takes no 
 notice of it. Put up a supplication to him in 
 
 * Tristram Shandy, vol. v. chap. i. 
 
or STERNE. 71 
 
 ihf name of a thousand orphans, an hospital, 
 a spittle, a prison as he goes by, they cry out 
 to him fir aid : ride on Shew him a de- 
 cayed haven, a bridge, a school, a fortif cation, 
 (3c. or some putlic work; ride on. Good 
 your worship, your honour, for God's sake^ 
 your couvitfs sake ; ride en."* 
 
 This curious copy is followed up in Tris. 
 tram Shandy, by a chapter, and that a long 
 one, written almost entirely from Burton. 
 It is the consolation of Mr. Shandy, on the 
 death of brother Bobby. 
 
 *• When Agrippina was told of her son's 
 death, Tacitus informs us, that, not being 
 able to moderate the violence of her passions, 
 »he abruptly broke off hej: work." This quo- 
 tation did not come to Sterne from Tacitus. 
 
 " Mezentius would not live after his son 
 
 And Pompey's wife cried out at the news- of 
 her husband's death, Turpe mori post te, &c. 
 — as Tacitus of Agrippina^ ra)t able to 
 pwderate her passions. So when she heard 
 
 t Anat, of Melanch. p. 269. 
 
7t ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 her son wai slain, she abruptly broke off her 
 work, (hanged countenance and colour, tore 
 her hair, and Jell a roaring downright''* 
 
 " 'T is either Plato," says Sterne, « or 
 Plutarch, or Seneca, or Xenophon, or 
 Epictetus, or Theophrastus, or Lucian — or 
 some one, perhaps of later date — either Car- 
 dan, or Budaeus, or Petrarch, or Stella — or 
 possibly it may be some divine or father of 
 the church, St. Austin, or St. Cyprian, or 
 Bernard, who affirms, that it is an irresisti- 
 ble and natural passion, to weep for the loss 
 of our friends or children — ^and Seneca, 
 (I 'm positive) tells us somewhere, that such 
 griefs evacuate themselves best by that par- 
 ticular channel. And accordingly, we find 
 that David wept for his son Absalom- 
 Adrian for his Antinous t — ^Niobe for her 
 children — and that Apollqdorus and Crito 
 both shed tears for Socrates before his 
 
 " Anat. of Melanch. p. 213. 
 
 + The time has been, when this conjunction 
 with the King of Israel wculd have smelt a little 
 of the faggot. 
 
OF STERNE. 73 
 
 death." — This is welTrallied, as the follow- 
 ing passage will evince ; but Sterne should 
 have considered how much he owed to poor 
 old Burton. 
 
 *' Death and departure ofjricnds are things 
 generally grievous ; Omnium quce in vita hu- 
 mana contingunt, luctus atque mors sunt acer- 
 bissima, [Cardan, de Consol. lib. 2.] the 
 moit austere and bitter accidents that can hap- 
 pen to a man in this life, in alernum vale- 
 dicere, to part/or evtr, to forsake the ■world 
 and all our friends, 't is ultimum terribilium, 
 the la^t and the greatest terror, most irksome 
 and troublesome unto us, (^c. — Nay many ge- 
 nerous spirits, and grave staid men otherwise, 
 are so tender in this, that at the loss of a dear 
 friend they will cry out, roar, and tear their 
 hair, lamenting some months after, howling 
 hone, as those Irish women and Greeks at their 
 graves commit many undecent actions," 6?c.* 
 All this is corroborated by quotations from 
 Ortelius, Catullus, Virgil, Lucan, andTaci- 
 
 * Anat. of Melancb. p. 213, 
 
74 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 tus. I take them in the order assigned them 
 by Burton. For he says, with great proba- 
 bility of himself, that he commonly wrote as 
 fast as possible, and poured out his quota- 
 tions just as they happened to occur to his 
 memory. But to proceed vith Mr. Shan- 
 dy's consolation. 
 
 " 'T is an inevitable chance — the first 
 statute in Magna Charta — it is an everlast- 
 ing act of Parliament, my dear brpther-r—aU 
 piust die."* 
 
 " 'Tis an inevitable chance, thejirst statvtt 
 in Magna Charta, an everlasting act of Par^ 
 liament, all must die. t" 
 
 " When Tully was bereft of his dear 
 daughter Tullia, at first he laid it to his 
 heart — he listened to the voice of nature, and 
 modulated his own unto it, &c. — But as soon 
 as he began to look into the stores of philoso- 
 phy, and consider how many excellent things 
 inight be said upon the occasion — nobody 
 
 • Tristram Shandy, vol. v. chap, 3, 
 t Anat. of Melaneh. p. 215, 
 
or STERNE. 75 
 
 upon earth can conceive, says the great or- 
 ator, how joyful, how happy it made me."* 
 
 •* Tvlly wai muck grieved Jor his daughter 
 Tu-'liola's death at Jir>t, until such time t'.at he 
 had crnfirmed his mind with some fhiiosoph cat 
 frecepts, then he began to triumph over for- 
 tune and grief, and for her reception into hea- 
 ven to be much more joyed than before he was 
 troubled for her loss "t 
 
 Sterne is uncharitable here to poor Cice- 
 ro. — 
 
 *' Kingdoms and provinces, and towns 
 and cities, have they not their periods? 
 Where is Troy, and Mycene, and Thebes, 
 and Delos, and Persepolis, and Agrigen- 
 
 tum. What is become, brother Toby, 
 
 of Nineveh and Babylon, of Cyzicum and 
 Mytilene; the fairest towns that ever the 
 sun rose upon, are now no more."J 
 
 " Kingdoms t provinces, cities, and towns,'* 
 »ays Burton, " have their periods, and are 
 fonsumed. In those Nourishing times of Troy, 
 
 f Interne. f Burton. { Sterne, 
 
76 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 M)'cene was the fairest city in Greece, 
 bid it, alas, and that Assyrian Ninive art 
 qwU overthrown. The like Jate hath that 
 Egyptian and Boeotian Thebes, Delos, the 
 common council-house of Greece, and Babylon, 
 the grealest city that ever the sun shone on, 
 hath now nothing but walls and rubbish left." 
 
 • And where is Troy itsdf now, Perse- 
 
 folis, Carthage, Cizicum, Sparta, Argos, and 
 all those Grecian cities? Syracuse and Agri- 
 gentum, the fairest towns in Sicily, which had 
 sometimes seven hundred thousand inhabitants, 
 are now decayed." 
 
 Let us follow Sterne again. " Return- 
 ing out of Asia, when I sailed from ^gina 
 towards Megara, I began to view the coun- 
 try round about. yEgina was behind me, 
 Megara was before, Pyraeus on the right 
 hand, Corinth on the left. What flourish- 
 ing towns now prostrate on the earth ! Alas ! 
 alas ! said I to myself, diat a man should 
 disturb his soul for the loss of a child, when 
 io much as this lies awfully buried in his 
 
Ot St£RN<. 77 
 
 presence. Remember, said I to myself 
 again — remember that thou art a man." 
 
 This is, with some slight variations, Bur- 
 ton's translation of Servius's letter. Sterne 
 alters just enough, to shew that he had not 
 attended to the original. Burton's version 
 follows. 
 
 •* Returning out of Asia, when I sailed 
 from jEgina towards Megara, I began to 
 view the country round about. uEgina was 
 behind me, Megara before, Pyrceus on the 
 right hand, Corinth on the left ; what Jlourish- 
 ing towns heretofore, now prostrate and over- 
 whelmed before mine eyes ? Alas, why are 
 we men so much disquieted with the departure 
 of a friend^ whose life is much shorter ? when 
 so many goodly cities lie buried be/ore us. 
 Remember, Servius thou art a man ; and 
 with that I was much confirmed, and correct- 
 ed myself" 
 
 " My son is dead," says Mr. Shandy, " so 
 much the better,* 't is a shame in such a 
 tempest, to have but one anchor." 
 
 * This is an aulcward member of the sentence. 
 
78 ILLUSTRATIOKS 
 
 I,hU he was my most dear and loving friend, 
 quoth Burton, luy sole friend — Thou maist 
 he ashamed, I say with Seneca, to confess it, in 
 such a tempest as this, to have l>i.t one anchor. 
 
 « But," continues Mr. Shandy, " he U 
 gone for ever from us ! be it so. He is 
 got from under the hands of his barber be- 
 fore he was bald. He is but risen from a 
 feast before he was surfeited — from a 
 banquet before he had got drunken. The 
 Thracians wept when a child was bom, and 
 feasted and made merry when a man went 
 out of the world, and with reason. Is it not 
 better not to hunger at all, than to eat ? not 
 to thirst, than to take physic to cure it ? Is 
 it not better to be freed from cares and 
 agues, love and melancholy, and the other 
 hot and cold fits of life,* than, like a galled 
 traveller, who comes weary to his inn, to be 
 bound to begin his journey afresh ?" 
 
 * This approaches to one of Shakespeare'* hap- 
 py expression' : 
 
 Durcan is in his grave ; 
 
 After lift'sjitjuljfttr he Ueept wdU 
 
OF STERNS. 79 
 
 I shall follow Burton's collections as they 
 stand in his own order.* " Thou dost him 
 great injury to desire his loriger life. WiU 
 thou have him crazed and sickty^still, like a 
 tired traveller that comis weary to his inn, he- 
 gin his journey afresh ? He is now gone 
 
 to eternity as if he had risen, saith Phi' 
 
 tarchtjrom the midst of ajeast before he was 
 
 drunk. Is it not much better not to hunger 
 
 at all, than to eat : not to thirst, than to drink 
 to satisfy thirst ; not to he cold, than to put on 
 clothes to drive away cold ? You had more 
 need rejoice that I am freed from diseases^ 
 agues, (So. The Thracians wept still when 
 a child was horn, feasted and made mirth 
 when any man was buried : and so should we 
 rather be glad for such as die well, that they 
 aire so happily freed from the miseries of this 
 life.f 
 
 Again — •« Consider, brother Toby,— 
 
 * Sterne has commonly reversed the arrange* 
 ment, which produces a strong effect in the com- 
 parison. 
 
 f Anat. of Mel. p. at6. 
 
80 ILLtTSTRATIOMS 
 
 when we are, death is not, and when death 
 is, we are not." — So Burton translates a 
 passage in Seneca : When we are, death is 
 not; but when death is, then we are not.* 
 The original words are, qmrni nos sumus, mon 
 non adest ; cum vera mors adest, turn nos non 
 sumus. 
 
 " For this reason, continued my father, 
 't is worthy to recollect, how little alteration 
 in great men the approaches of death have 
 
 made. Vespasian died in a jest Calba 
 
 with a sentence — Septimius Severus in a 
 dispatch; Tiberius in dissimulation, and 
 Caesar Augustus in a complimenL" This 
 conclusion of so remarkable a chapter is co- 
 pied, omitting some quotations, almost verba« 
 tim, from Lord Veiulam's Essay on Death. 
 
 Steme has taken two other passages from 
 this short essay : " There is no terror, bro- 
 ther Toby, in its looks, but what it borrows 
 from groans and convulsions — and the blow- 
 ing of noses, and the wiping away of tears 
 
 ♦ P. si3« 
 
Ot STERNE. 8t 
 
 Vith the bottoms of curtains in a dying man's 
 toom." Thus fiacon — Groans and convul- 
 sionSi ani discoloured Jace, andjriends weep- 
 ing, and blacks, and obsequies, and the liict 
 shew death terrible. Again, Corporal Trim, 
 in his harangue, *' in hot pursuit, the wound 
 itself which brings him is not felt."— ^Bacon 
 says, He that dies in an earnest pursuit, is 
 like one that is wounded in hot bloody who for 
 the time scarce feels the hurt. 
 
 Among these instances of remarkable 
 deaths, I am surprised that the curious story 
 of Cardinal Bentivoglio did not occur to 
 . Sterne. When the Cardinal entered the 
 conclave, after the death of Urban vi ii. he 
 was unfortunately lodged in the chamber 
 next to one who slept and snored quantum 
 poterat, says Erythraeus, all night long. Poor 
 Bentivoglio, worn down to a shadow by his 
 literary pursuits, and his disappointments, 
 and already but too wakeful, passed eleven 
 nights without sleep, by the snoring of his 
 neighbour; when symptoms of fever ap- 
 
8a ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 pearing, he was removed to a more quiet 
 room, in which he soon finished his days.* 
 
 We must have recourse to Burton again, 
 for part of the Tristra-Psedia. « O blessed 
 health ! cried my father, making an excla- 
 mation, as he turned over the leaves to the 
 next chapter, — thou art above all gold and 
 treasure ; 't is thou who enlargest the soul, 
 — and openest all its powers to receive in- 
 struction, and to relish virtue. — He that has 
 thee, has little more to wish for; and he 
 that is so wretched as to want thee, — ^wants 
 every thing with thee."t 
 
 blessed health ! says Burton, thou art 
 abcve all gold and treasure ; [EcclesiastJ 
 the poor maris riches, the rich man's bliss^ 
 ■without thee there can be no happintss.X 
 
 O beata sanitas, te presente arnxnum 
 Ver floret gratiis, absque te nemo bcatus. 
 
 But I should, in order, have noticed first 
 
 • Jan. Nic. Erythrae. Pinacothec. alter, p. 37. 
 + Chap, xxxiji. vol. v. 
 
 * Page 104. Ibid, page 276. 
 
6^ StKRNEi 93 
 
 an ^xcfamation at the end of chapter i x. in 
 the spirit of which no body could expect 
 Sterne to be original; »« Now I love you 
 for thifr— and 't is this delicious mixture with- 
 in yoU} which makes youj dear creatures, 
 what you are — and he who hates you for it 
 — all I can say of the matter is, That he 
 has a pumpkin for his head, or a pippin for 
 his heart, — and whenever he is dissected 
 t will be found so." — Burton's quotation is : 
 Qui vim non sensit amoris, aut lapis est, out 
 bellua : which he translates thus : He is not 
 a matit a block, a very stone, aut Numen, aut 
 Nebuchadnezzar, he hath a gourd for his head, 
 a pippin for his heart, that hath not felt the 
 power of it. 
 
 In chap, xxxvi. vol. vi. Stefne has pick- 
 ed out a few quotations from Burton's Es- 
 say on Love-Melancholy,* which afford 
 nothing very remarkable, except Sterne's 
 boldness in quoting quotations. 
 
 By help of another extract t from Bur- 
 
 ^ See Burton, p. 310, &■ seq. 
 
 f TrUt. Shandy, vol. vii. chap, ziii> 
 
84 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 ton, Sterne makes a great figure as a curioui 
 reader : " I hate to make mysteries of no* 
 thing ; — ^"t is the cold cautiousness of one of 
 those little souls from which Lessius (lib< 
 xiii. de moribus divinis, ch. xxiv.) has made 
 his estimate, wherein he setteth forth. That 
 one Dutch mile, cubically multiplied, will 
 allow room enough, and to spare, for eight 
 hundred thousand millions, which he sup- 
 poses to be as great a number of souls 
 (counting from the fall of Adam) as can pos- 
 sibly be damn'd to the end of the world. 
 
 1 am much more at a loss to know what 
 
 could be in Franciscus Ribera's head, who 
 pretends that no less a space than one of 
 two hundred Italian miles, multiplied into 
 itself, will be sufficient to hold the like num- 
 ber — he certainly must have gone upon 
 some of the old Roman souls," &c. 
 
 The succeeding raillery is very well, but 
 unfair with respect to the mathematical theo- 
 logist, as the original passage will prove. 
 " Franciscus Ribera, in cap. 14. Apocalyps. 
 will have hell a viaterial and local Jire in the 
 
or STERNE. 85 
 
 centre of the earth, two hundred Italian milts 
 in diameter, as he defines it out 0/ those words, 
 Exivit sanguis de terra — -per Stadia mille 
 sexcenta, &c. But Lessius, lib. xiii. de mori~ 
 bus divinis, cap. 24. will have this local hell 
 for less, one Dutch mile in diameter, alljilled 
 with f re and brimstone; because, as he there 
 demonstratts, that space cuhically multiplied 
 will make a sphere able to hold eight hundred 
 thousand millions of damned bodies, (allowing 
 each body six foot square) which will abund- 
 antly sujice." [I believe the damned, upon 
 Lessius's scheme, would be less crouded, 
 than the victims of the African slave-trade 
 have often been, on the middle passage.] 
 " Cum certum sit, inquit, facta subdicctione, non 
 futuros centies mille milliones damnandorum "* 
 Lucian, in his Necyomantia, allows only 
 a foot to each of the shades; but the oppo- 
 nents of some lace acts of the legislature must 
 not pride themselves in his patronage. He 
 supposed the tenants of his more merciful 
 
 * Anatt of Melanch. p. 156, 
 
86 ILLUSTRATJOK9 
 
 hell to be only skeletons, or the shadows, 
 which had accompanied the satuial bodies 
 of men upon earth.* 
 
 Again, at the end of the same chapter in 
 Tristram Shandy ; '* but where am I ? and 
 into what a delicious riot of things ara I 
 rushing ? I — I who must be cut short in 
 the midst of my days," &c. Burton con- 
 cludes his chapter '<on Maids', Nunns*, 
 and Widows' Melancholy," in the same 
 manner. *^ But where am I ? into what sub- 
 ject have Iruihed ? What have I to do ?"f (Sc 
 
 The preface to Tristram, which is whim* 
 sically placed near the end of the third 
 volume, contains another of Burton's sallies, 
 « Lay hold of me, — I am giddy — I am 
 ptone-blind — I 'm dying — I am gone — 
 Help! help! help!"— 
 
 Burton, in his Digression of Air^ stops 
 himself in a metaphysical ramble, in the 
 same manner. Bvi, hoo ! I am now gone 
 
 * Axarrii 7«f m^iut sXXuXoir finrrsi o^Mioi, rw orMf 
 
 + Page 124, 
 
or STERNE. 87 
 
 quite out of sight : I am almost giddy with 
 roving about. 
 
 It was observed to me by Mr. Isaac 
 Read, that Sterne had made use of the notes 
 to Blount's Translation of Phihstratus. 
 The most striking resemblances are contain- 
 ed in Blount's Observations on Death, in 
 which he has copied nearly the whole of 
 Lord Verulam's Essay on that subject. 
 Blount also declared war against gravity of 
 manners, and there are many eccentricities 
 scattered through his annotations (which are 
 almost as bulky as the explanatory notes to 
 our modem poems) that Sterne had turned 
 to his own account, though it is difficult to 
 trace them distinctly. 
 
 I shall just observe by the way, that a 
 pretty passage in the Story 0/ the King of 
 Bohemia and his seven castles; — "Modes- 
 ty scarce touches with a finger what Libe- 
 rality offers her with both hep hands 
 open" — alludes to a picture of Guide's, the 
 design of which it describes tolerably well. 
 
 fietaurnons a nos moutonsj as Rabelais would 
 
88 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 say ; in matters of painting, it is dangerou* 
 for a man to trust his own eyes, till he has 
 taken his degree of Connoisseur. 
 
 It confirms me strongly in the belief that 
 the character of Mr. Shandy is a personifi- 
 cation of the authorship of Burton, when I 
 find such a passage as the following in Sterne. 
 *' There is a Philippic in verse on some- 
 body's eye or other, that for two or three 
 nights together had put him by his rest; 
 which, in his first transport of resentment 
 against it, he begins thus : 
 
 " A devil 't is — and mischief such doth work. 
 As never yet did P^gan, Jew, or Turk." 
 
 This choice couplet is quoted by Burton* 
 from some bad poet, now unknown, of 
 whose name he only gives the initials. 
 
 « Hilarion the hermit, in speaking of his 
 abstinence, his watchings, flagellations, and 
 other instrumental parts of his religion,—, 
 would say — though with more facetiousness 
 
 • Page 33*' 
 
OF STERNE. 
 
 89^ 
 
 than became an hermit — That they were the 
 means he used, to make his ass (meaning his 
 body) leave off kicking."* 
 
 ** By this meam Hilarion made his assj as 
 he called his own body, leave kicking (so 
 Hierome relates of him in his life) when the 
 Devil tempted him to any foul offence."^ 
 
 *« I wish, Yorick, said my father, you 
 had read Plato; for there you would have 
 
 learnt that there are two Loves of 
 
 these loves, according to Ficinus's com- 
 ment upon Velasius, the one is rational — 
 the other is natural — the first ancient — 
 without mother — where Venus has nothing 
 to do : the second, begotten of Jupiter and 
 Dione — "J 
 
 II One Venus is ancieni, without a mother, 
 and descended from heaven, whom -we call 
 ealestial. The younger begotten of Jupiter 
 
 * Tris. Shandy, vol. viii. chap. xxxi. 
 + Burton, p. 333. 
 
 + Tris. Shandy, vol. viii. chap, xxxiii. 
 II Velasius is quoted through all the preceding 
 passages in Burton. 
 
pO ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 and DiorUf whom commonly we call Venus. 
 Ficinus, in his comment upon this places cap. 8. 
 follofwing Plato, called these two loveSy two 
 devils, or good and bad angels according to U5, 
 which are still hovering about our souls* 
 
 Mr. Shandy observes, on his son's cir- 
 cumcision, that the trine and sextile aspects 
 have jumped awjiy. This is taken from 
 Burton.t Many other small plagiarisms 
 might be noticed, but I shall conBne my 
 observations to those of more consequence. 
 
 The fragment respecting the Abderitans, 
 in the Sentimental Journey, is taken from 
 Burton's chapter of Artijicial Allurements,X 
 At Abdera in Thrace (says Burton) Andro- 
 meda, one oj Euripides^ tragedies being played^ 
 the spectators were so much moved with the 
 object, and those pathetical speeches of Perseus, 
 among the rest, Cupid, prince of gods and 
 men, (3c. that every man almost, a good while 
 
 * Page 260. 
 
 + Page 263. Objects of Love, 
 
 + Page 301. 
 
OF STERNE. ^t 
 
 ajter, spake fun iambics, and raved still on 
 Perseus' s speech, Cupid, prince of gods and 
 men. As car-men^ hoys, and prentices, when 
 a new song is published with us, go singing 
 that new tune still in the streets, they continue 
 ally acted that tragical part of Perseus, and 
 in every mans mouth was, Cupid, in every 
 street, Cupid, in every house almost, Cu- 
 pid, prince of gods and men ; pronouncing 
 still, like stage-players, Cupid. They were 
 so possessed all with that rapture, and thought 
 ^ that paihetical love-speech, they could not, 
 a long time after, forget, or drive it out of their 
 minds, but, Cupid, prince of gods and men, 
 Vias ever in their mouths. Why Sterne 
 should have called this a fragment, I can- 
 not imagine; unless, as Burton forgot to 
 quote his author, Sterne was not aware that 
 the story was taken from the introduction to 
 Lucian's Essay on the Method of Writing 
 History. 
 
 Burton has spoiled this passage by an un- 
 faithful translation. Sterne has worked it 
 pp to a beautiful picture, but very different 
 
92 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 from the original in Lucian, with which, I 
 am persuaded, he was unacquainted. 
 
 That part of Mr. Shandy's letter to Un- 
 cle Toby, which consists of obsolete medi- 
 cal practices, is taken from one of Burton's 
 chapters on the cure of Love-Melancholy.* 
 
 Gordonius's prescription of a severe beat- 
 ing for the cure of love, seems to have en- 
 tertained Sterne greatly. Tliis remedy was 
 once a favourite with physicians, in the cure 
 of many diseases : there M'as then good reason 
 for giving Birch a place in the dispensator- 
 ies. To say nothing of Luther's practice 
 in the case of his maid-ser\'ant, which I shall 
 have occasion to mention afterwards, we 
 find in the Appendix to Wcpfer's Historice 
 apopkcticoncm, an account of a soldier, who 
 prevented an attack of the apoplexy, by flog- 
 ging himself, till blood ran freely from his 
 back and nostrils. Oribasius, one of the 
 virtuosi of that time, wrote to recommend 
 whipping in fevers. Dr. Musgrave quotes 
 
 » .Anatomy of Melancholy, p. 333, to 335, 
 
OF STERNX. 93 
 
 a German physician, who cured two of his 
 patients of dysentery, by drubbing them as 
 much as was sufficient.* 
 
 The practice of these terrible doctors 
 among unfortunate lunatics, is too notori- 
 ous. One of them directs the application 
 for love-melancholy in this elegant manner, 
 in his book ; si juvenis est, Jlagellctur ejus 
 cuius CUM verberibus,f et si non sistit, ponatur 
 in/undo turris cum pane et aqua, ^c. 
 
 Campanella tells a curious story of an 
 Italian prince, an excellent musician, qui 
 alvum deponere non polerat, nisi verberatus a 
 servo ad id adscito.X I omit many other pre- 
 scriptions of the same kind. These in- 
 stances are sufficient to establish the pre- 
 dilection of the faculty for this practice, 
 which Buder has so highly celebrated for its 
 moral tendency : 
 
 Whipping that 's virtue's goveraess, 
 Tut'ress of arts and sciences ; 
 
 * Of the qualities of the nerves, p. 138. 
 + Meibomius, p. 5, et seq. 
 X Idem. 
 
94 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 That mends the gross mistakes of naturCf 
 And puts new life into dull matter } 
 That lays foundation for renowm, 
 And all the honours of the gowo.* 
 
 Peter i. of Russia seems to have adopts 
 ed this philosophy, for we are assured that 
 he was accustomed to cane his ministers and 
 courtiers, for high misdemeanors, with his 
 own imperial hands. 
 
 Sterne has made frequent references to 
 Montaigne: the best commentary on the 
 fifth chapter of Tristram Shandy, voL viii. 
 is Montaigne's essay on the subject of that 
 chapter. 
 
 Charges of Plagiarism in his Sermons 
 }>ave been brought against Sterne, which 
 I have not been anxious to investigate, as 
 in that species of composition, the principal 
 matter must consist of repetitions. But it 
 has long been my opinion, that the manner, 
 the style, and the selection of subjects for 
 those Sermons, were derived from the ex- 
 cellent Contemplations of Bishop Hall. 
 
 * Hudibras, part ii. canto i. 
 
or STERMK. 95 
 
 There is a delicacy of thought, and tender- 
 ness of expression in the good Bishop's 
 compositions, from the transfusion of which 
 Sterne looked for immortality. 
 
 Let us compare that singular Sermon, 
 entitled The Levite and his Concu- 
 BINE, with part of the Bishop's Contempla- 
 tionof the Levite's Concubine. Ishall 
 follow Sterne's order. 
 
 « — Then shame and grief go with her, 
 and wherever she seeks a shelter, may the 
 hand of justice shut the door against her."* 
 
 What husband would not have said — She is 
 gone, let shame and grief go with her; Ishall 
 find one no less pleasing, and more/ailhful.f 
 
 •* Our annotators tell us, that in Jewish 
 ceconomicks, these (concubines) differed little 
 from the wife, except in some outward cere- 
 monies and stipulations, but agreed with her 
 in all the true essences of marriage."J 
 
 The law o/Godf says the Bishop, allowed 
 
 * Sterne> Sermon xviii. 
 
 + Bp. Hall's Works, p. 1017. 
 
 X Sterne loc, ciut. 
 
gS ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 the Levitt a wife ; human connivance a conm 
 cuhine ; neither did the Jfewish concubine 
 differ from a wife, hut in some outward corn^ 
 pliments; both might challenge all the true 
 essence of marriage. 
 
 I shall omit the greater part of the Le- 
 vite's solioquy, in Sterne, and only take the 
 last sentences. 
 
 " Mercy well becomes the heart of all 
 thy creatures, but most of thy servant, a 
 Levite, who offers up so many daily sacri- 
 fices to thee, for the transgressions of thy 
 people." 
 
 — " But to little purpose," he would 
 add, « have I served at thy altar, where my 
 business was to sue for mercy, had I not 
 leam'd to practise it." 
 
 Mercy, says Bishop Hall, becomes well 
 the heart of any man., lut most of a Levite. 
 He thai had helped to offer so many sacrifices 
 to God for the multitude of every Israelites 
 sins, saw how proportionable it was, that man 
 should not hold one sin unpardonable. He 
 had served at the altar to no purpose^ if he 
 
or ST£RM£. 97 
 
 {whose trade was to sue for mercy) had not 
 at all learned to practise it. 
 
 It were needless to pursue the parallel. 
 
 • Sterne's twelfth Sermon, on the Forgive- 
 ness of Injuries, is merely a dilated com- 
 mentarj' on the beautiful conclusion of the 
 Contemplation ' of Joseph.' 
 
 The sixteenth Sermon contains a more 
 striking imitation. *' There is no small de- 
 gree of malicious craft in fixing upon a sea- 
 son to give a mark of enmity and ill-will ; 
 — a word, a look, which, at one time. Would 
 inake no impression, — at another time, 
 wounds the heart; and, like a shaft flying 
 with the wind, pierces deep, which with its 
 own natural force, would scarce have reach- 
 ed the object aimed at." 
 , This is little varied from the original i 
 There is no small cruelty in the picking out of 
 a time for mischief ; that word would scane 
 gall at one season, which at another killcth. 
 The same shaft flying with the wind pierces 
 deep, which against it, can hardly fnd strength 
 to stick upright.* 
 
 * Hall's Shimet Cursing. 
 H 
 
98 IlfDSTRATIOW* 
 
 In Sterne's fifth Sermon, the Coviempld* 
 ticn of ' Elijah with the Sareptan,' is closely 
 followed. Witness this passage out of 
 others: " The prophet follows the call of 
 his God: — the same hand which brought 
 him to the gate of the city, had led also the 
 poor widow out of her doors, oppressed 
 with sorrow."* 
 
 The prophet followi the call of his God ; 
 fhe same hand that brought him to the gate of 
 Sarepia, led also this poor widow out of her 
 doors.f 
 
 The succeeding passages which corres* 
 pond are too long for insertion. 
 
 Sterne has ackno^vledged his acquaintance 
 with this book, by the disingenuity of two 
 ludicrous quotations in Tristram Shandy .J 
 
 The use which Sleme made of Burton 
 and Hall, and his great familiarity with theii* 
 works, had considerable influence on his 
 
 • Sterne. 
 
 + Bishop Hall, p. 1323. 
 
 X Vol. i. chap. xxii. and vol. vii. chap. xiii. 
 
OF STER.N£> Qg 
 
 Style i it was rendered, by assimilation with 
 their's, more easy, more natural, and more 
 expressive. Every writer of taste and feel- 
 ing must indeed be invigorated, by drinking 
 at the « pure well of English undefiledj" 
 but like the Fountain of Youth, celebrated 
 in the old romances, its waters generally 
 elude the utmost efforts of those who strive 
 to appropriate them. 
 
loo ILLUSTRATrO-Ny 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 Mr. Shandy's hypothesis of noses explained 
 — Taliacctius — Stories of long noses — Coinci- 
 dence between Vigneul-Marville and Lava- 
 ter — Opinions of Garmann — Riolan — Bed~ 
 does — Segars point of honour concerning the 
 nose. 
 
 JtSy the labours of those vho cultivate 
 the philosophy of the East, we learn, that 
 there exists an order of sages,* who reckon it 
 the perfection of wisdom, to pass their lives 
 in silently contemplating the point of the 
 nose. The philosophy of noses has not 
 
 • The Yogeys. See Sketches relating to the His- 
 iory of the Hindoos, 
 
 Tho' the priesthood of /« on the vulgar impose 
 By squinting whole years at the end of their note. 
 
 CAMtftlDCK. 
 
Of STERNE. tQl 
 
 remalQed unnoticed in Europe, but it has 
 never been generally pursued, either from 
 an apprehension of the obliquity which it 
 occasions in the Indian students, or because 
 the science does pot lead to the same de- 
 gree of power aqd consequence among us> 
 fis in Asia. 
 
 The doctrine of noses was too common 
 in Sterne's favourite wri;tersj to be over- 
 looked by him ; but there is a cause of per- 
 plexity in his aill^sions^ which must be ex- 
 plained lo aq EngU&h reader. 
 
 Sonje languages, particularly the Latin, 
 the French, and Italian, abound in figura- 
 tive expressions respecting the understand- 
 ing and manners, which refer to the nose. 
 We have few expressions parallel to these 
 in English; and every attempt to engraft 
 such topics of raillery upon pur language is 
 necessarily attended with obscurity, 
 
 The Greeks, delicate to excess in what- 
 ever regarded the proportions of the body, 
 attached great ridicule to noses of immo- 
 ijfiate length. The Anthology contains 
 
lOa ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 several epigrams on this subject, which Pope 
 might have quoted as examples of hj/ferboU» 
 Such is the epigram on Produs; 
 
 Oy SvvxTxi Tvj 3cf tpi np5xX®J Tvjv p Vv* 
 
 His vast proboscis Proclus never Mows; 
 His hand too small to grasp his salient nose. 
 If when he snerzes, Proclus should refrain 
 To cry, • Jove bless me,' think him not profane; 
 For his own sneeze in time he cannot hear. 
 So distant either nostril from his ear. 
 
 Another epigram, written in the same taste, 
 demands respect, because it was the produc- 
 tion of the Emperor Trajan: 
 
 AvTlOV V]£X(8, (Sc* 
 
 Turn your nose to the sun, and gape wide for a 
 
 trial ; 
 Your neighbours will find you an excellent dial. 
 
 A very different sentiment prevailed a- 
 mong the Hebrews, respecting large noses ; 
 they were considered as indicating prudence 
 
 * Anthologia, torn. i. p. 412. 
 
or STERNE. 103 
 
 and long-suffering,— I must here transcribe 
 from Camerarius : Atque hoc quidtm tpitht- 
 ton inter cce'era Deus sibi arrogat, qui Mosen 
 alhquens, [Exod. 34.] proprietatibui decern 
 kanc adjicit, ^smhtt zi « /, m a c n o n a s o , u/ His- 
 panica edttio Comp'utensis, et recentior Avi- 
 ■verpiensis, ad verbum exprimunt, et aliis quo- 
 q-e Bibliorum locis Deus ita vacatur, quod 
 omnts interpretes expcnunt patieniem, vt con- 
 tra a brevi naso Hebrcei promptum ad iram 
 vel iracundum interpretantur* 
 
 As the nose furnishes the principal ex- 
 pression of derision in the countenance, se- 
 veral words and phrases in the. Greek and 
 Latin languages bear a reference to it, in 
 denoting raillery or contempt. But it is 
 sometimes assumed as the type of judgment 
 and acuteness. Ipse denique Nasus, says 
 Erasmus, in proverbium abiit, pro judicio. 
 Horat. Nov, quia milas illis nasus erat.f 
 
 • Horx Subcisivx, tom. i. p. 253. In p. 249, 
 /fasut Domini is mentioned as a figure for Anger. 
 + A4asia, p. 348. 
 
J04 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 Another phrase is not very refined in its 
 origin ; though it denotes acuteneSs aijd f yen 
 polish: 
 
 Emunctae narisduros cojnponere versus." 
 
 Martial has an epigram which cannot be 
 translated into English, (though somewhat 
 applicable to this book), on account of h^s 
 adherence to this figure : 
 
 Nasutus sis usque licet, sis denique pasus, 
 Quantum nolucrit ferre rogatus Atlas, 
 £t po5sis ipsum tu deridere Latinum, 
 Non potes in nugas dicere plura meas, 
 Ipse ego quam 4}xi : f 
 
 And in another place he employs a strong 
 figure, equally ititractable in English, to de- 
 note the early critical abilities of the Ro« 
 man youth ; 
 
 £t pueri nasum rhinocerotis habent.;^ 
 
 • Horat. 
 
 f Epigrammat. lib. xili. epigr. ;. 
 
 ^ Lib. i. epigr. 4. 
 
OF STERNE. 10^ 
 
 In the French and Italian languages, sucli 
 allusions are very common. I take the 
 following remarks from the Na^ea of Are- 
 tine, a writer whom Burton has quoted lav- 
 ishly (from the Latin translation of Barthius) 
 in some of the chapters on Love- Melan- 
 choly, where he seems to have unbended 
 himself so completely. The frequent re- 
 ferences to this author, in a book which 
 seems to have been perpetually in Sterne's 
 hands, would probably induce him to read 
 the original. 
 
 The author of the Nasea, after magnifying 
 his correspondent's nose, says, " in somma 
 egli e quel naso, che sendo veramcnte Re 
 de' nasi, v' ha degnamente fatto Re de gli 
 huomini, come voi sete : & tahto maggior Re, 
 quaoto egli e maggior naso, & piu magni- 
 fico, & piu onnipotente de gli altri. La- 
 qual cosa procedendo per via di ragione 
 si puo per diversi modi provare : ma prima- 
 mente le proveremo per 1' autorita de' Persi^ 
 i quali dopo la morte di Giro, (che secondo 
 $} seme si trovo un bel pezzo di naso} gi4- 
 
106 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 dicarono che nessuno huomo potesse esser 
 ne bello, ne degno di regnare, che non si 
 trovasse cosi nasuto, come fu egli. Nel 
 libro de' Re trovo una postilla del Mazza. 
 gattone, con un tratto del Zucca, che Na- 
 buccodenasor hcbbe quel Regno, & quel 
 nome, perchc hebbe gran bocca, & gran 
 naso. Sopra che si fonda J' oppenione 
 d'un mio compagno, quale c, che Carlo v» 
 sia hoggi si grande Imperadore, perche si 
 trova si gran bocca: & che Franceso 
 Re di Francia sia si gran Re, perche ha si 
 gran naso: & che si non fosse, che'l naso 
 del Re contrasta con la bocca dell' Impera- 
 dore; & la bocca dell' Imperadore col naso 
 del Re, ciascuno d'essi (merce di quella 
 bocca, o di quel naso) sarebbe Signor di 
 tutto il mondo : Dove per il pari, o poco 
 difFcrente contrapeso, di pari o poco difFe- 
 rcntimentc contendono della somma dell' 
 Impcrio. Et dicemi che '1 Re non per al- 
 tro fu prigione sotto Pavia, se non perche 
 in quel tempo la Maesta del suo naso, si tro. 
 
OF STE&N&. 107 
 
 vava impaniata di certi piastrelli,* per un 
 certo male del suo paese, et che la bocca 
 deir Imperadore era sana, et senza impedU 
 mento. Nel passagio poi di sua Maesta 
 Ces. in Provenza, che'l naso del Re era 
 sano, et la bocca dell' Imperadore per ca* 
 restia di vettovaglia si trovo mal pasciuta, 
 ognun sa come la bisogna andasse. Ma 
 per tornare al naso, io voglio dire alia 
 Maesta V. un gran segreto, che tutti i pe« 
 danti lo cercano, et non I'hanno ancor tro> 
 vato i che Ovidio Nasone non fu per altro 
 conBnato, se non perche Augusto dubbito 
 che quel suo gran naso non li togliesse 
 r Imperio; et mandollo in esiglio tra quelle 
 nevi et quel ghiacci della Moscovia, perche 
 li si seccasse il naso di freddo. L' Aquila 
 perche credete voi che sia Regina de gli 
 uccegli, se non perche si truova quel naso 
 cosi grifagno? L'Elefante perche € cgU 
 piu ingenioso de gli altri animali, se non 
 perche ha quel grugno cosi lungo? II 
 
 * Ficcioli emplastria 
 
t08 ItLVSTRATIONS 
 
 Rinocerote per qual cagione e tamo temuto 
 cla vitio^i se non perche 1' ha cosi duro ? 
 In somma un naso straordinario porta 
 sempre seco straordinaria maggioranza : et 
 non senza ragione. Percio che io ho tro- 
 vaio, che '1 naso e la sede della Maesta <fe 
 deir honore dell' liuomo: et per conse- 
 guenza chi maggior I'ha, piu honorato 
 debbe esscre. Donde si dice, Tu mi dai 
 del naso, id est, tu me tocchi nell* honore.*" 
 ** In a word, it is such, that being truly 
 the king of noses, it has justly rendered you 
 the king of men ; and so much a greater 
 king, as it is the greatest, the most magnifi- 
 cent, and most powerful of noses, which 
 may be proved in two different ways ; but 
 particularly by the authority of the Persians, 
 who after the death of Cyrus (a prince, ac- 
 cording to authors, excellently provided 
 yith' a nose) esteemed no man beautiful, nor 
 vorthy to reign, unless he had a nose of 
 
 * ^="5^ 53-> 3) 4- I quote from the scarf5 
 ^Iscvir editioq. 
 
OF StER.N£. lOg 
 
 like size. In the book of Kings is a note 
 by Mazzagattone,* with a jest by Zuccajt 
 that Nabuccodenasor had his kingdom and 
 his name from his great mouth and his large 
 nose. Upon which a friend of mine has 
 founded an opinion, that Charles' v. is at pre- 
 sent so great an emperor, because he has so 
 large a mouth; and that Francis king of 
 France is so great a king, because he has so 
 large a nose j and that if it had not happened 
 that the king's nose counteracted the empe- 
 ror's mouth, and the emperor's mouth the 
 king's nose, one of them (by virtue of the 
 mouth or the nose), would be master of the 
 whole world : whence it follows, that balancing 
 each other, they contend for tlie sovereignty 
 with nearly equal fortune. And he telb 
 me, that the king was taken prisoner at 
 Pavia, only because at that time the majes- 
 ty of his nose was degraded, by some out- 
 
 • Scarecrow. 
 
 f Gourd ; he had " a gourd for his head," I 
 suppose^ 
 
lia ILLUSTRATIONa 
 
 ward applications on account of the country- 
 disease, while the emperor's mouth waj 
 healthy and unimpaired. Afterwards, in the 
 emperor's invasion of Provence, the king's 
 nose being healed, and the emperor's mouth 
 being injured by want of provisions, every 
 dne knows how the affair terminated. But 
 to return to noses in general, I will tell your 
 majesty a great secret, which all the pedants 
 have tried without success to discover : that 
 Ovid (Naso), was banished for no other rea- 
 son, than that Augustus feared that his great 
 nose might carry off" the empire from him: 
 and he sent Ovid into exile among the snows 
 and ice of Russia, that his nose might be 
 shrivelled with cold. Why, think you, is the 
 eagle the queen of birds, but because of her 
 prominent beak? Why is the elephant the 
 wisest of animals, but because he has so long 
 a trunk ? Why is the rhinoceros so much 
 dreaded by the vitious,* but because his horn 
 
 * In translating an author full of extravagant 
 and far-fetched conceits, of the i6ih century, the 
 meaning sometimes unavoidably escapes us. 
 
of STERNE. ill 
 
 is SO hard ? In fine, an extraordinary nose 
 always carries with it extraordinary great- 
 ness ; and not without reason. For I have 
 found that the nose is the seat of maje&ty 
 and honour in man ; and consequently who- 
 ever has it largest ought to be most honour- 
 ed." The next passages relate to Italiati 
 proverbs taken from this figure, which hard- 
 ly admit translation, or to a view of the sub- 
 ject from which I totally abstain. 
 
 An account follows of the expression of 
 the passions depending on the nose, and of 
 the different kinds of noses : every thing that 
 might have been expected from Sterne's 
 Slawienbergius, the idea of which was per- 
 haps inspired by this very treatise. " Beato 
 voi, says die author in another place,* che 
 Vi portate in faccia la' meraviglia, 8c la con- 
 solatione di chiunque vi mira. Ognuno 
 strabilia che lo vede : ognuno stupisce che 
 lo sente : a tutti da riso ; a tutti desiderio. 
 Tutti i Poeti ne cantano : tutti i prosatori 
 ne scrivono ; tutti coloro che hanno favella 
 ne ragionano : — Qui 
 
 * P«fie 540. 
 
112 ILLUSTRATIONS' 
 
 dopo che voi sete partito s' e fatto piu friJ- 
 casso di questo vostro naso, che della gnat 
 del Papa a Nizza, et del passagio che pre-' 
 para il gran Turco ; tanto che mi par di- 
 ventato la tromba della fama, che da og- 
 iiuno e sonata, ct da ogmino e sentita." I 
 confess that all these circumstances, of the 
 " wonder which he carries in his face ; of 
 the astonishment and interest with which 
 cvciy one regards him; of the employment 
 which his appearance furnishes to all the 
 writers and talkers ; of the noise which is oc- 
 casioned by his wonderful nose afrer his de- 
 parture, which overpowers the reports of the 
 residence of the Pope at Nice, or the inva- 
 sion meditated by the grand Turk; and of 
 its resemblance to the trumpet of fame, 
 which is sounded and felf by everj' one;" 
 these, with many other allusions and inci- 
 dents rn this aurhor, remind me of the stran- 
 ger at the gates of Strasburgh, in Slawken- 
 bergius's talc. Sterne has shelved, on many 
 occasions, how well he could improve upon 
 flight hints. 
 
 In the only volume of Bouchct which i 
 
OF ST£RME. 113 
 
 bave seen, the subject of Noses is briefly 
 mentioned ; the passage follows : — Ceste 
 chaleur fait aussi, adjousta-U encores, que 
 les Mores sont fort camus, et diriez qu' on 
 leur a coupe le nez sur le billot : cela pro- 
 cedant de la grande chaleur, qui ne permet 
 pas que les os et les cartilages croissent beau- 
 coup, comme venans d' une matierc inutile 
 et vacante: les petits enfans le conBrment 
 bien, lesquels estans chauds, sont camus, 
 ayans en leur jeunesse le nez fort court. 
 £t si faut noter que les Mores, et tous ceux 
 qui sont camus, sont coleres : &c qu' au con- 
 traire, les grands nez sont plus patiens 8c 
 prudents, et qu' en la Bible quand on dit 
 que quelqu' un a grand nez, les interpretes 
 toument patient : ce qui ^emonstre qu' en 
 la physionomie y a quelquc divination dc 
 complexion.* 
 
 There is a writer who deserved a higher 
 place in Mr. Shandy's library, than any of 
 those whom Sterne has ventured to men- 
 
 * Bouchet, torn. iii. p. tio, ik 
 I 
 
1»4 ILLOSTRATIOMt 
 
 lion ; and he was the more entitled to no- 
 tice, because his fame has been unjustly and 
 unaccountably eclipsed. I allude to Caspar 
 Tagliacozzi, or, according to the pedantic 
 fashion of the times, Taliacotius, a professor 
 at Bologna, who outstripped his contempo* 
 raries too far, to gain the honour and the 
 confidence due to his discoveries. He had 
 indeed the misfortune of being too learned for 
 his time, in D'Akmbert's phrase ; /roj> ini/raif 
 pour ion sieck. The first part of his book 
 De Curiorum Chirurgia, however, was suffi- 
 ciently accommodated to the prevailing 
 taste. It contains several chapters on the 
 dignity of the face and its different features; 
 the fifth and sixth chapters are bestowed upon 
 the nose, and contain philosophy, enough 
 to have satiated Mr. Shandy himself. 
 
 There is a very curious S^culation in 
 the chapter on the Dignity of the Face, 
 medically considered, which the learned 
 reader will not be displeased to see, and 
 which, I hope, he will keep to himself. 
 ^ Agam saltern id, ut perspecto situ 
 membrorum genitalium, quanu ratio ha« 
 
bita fueiit excellentise faciei atque no-> 
 bilitatfs, quodque membra haec justissimo 
 architecti consilio, non exiguo interstitio 
 inter se dirempta sint, exacte cognoscamus< 
 Nam cum cerebri sit propago quaedam fa-> 
 cies,'ad quam sensuum omnium brganade- 
 fiectant, quo in loco animae virtus divinas 
 suas vires exerat, quid inconvenientius fuis^ 
 set, Sc protoplasta indignius, quam membra 
 ilia pecuina et abjecta, cum partibus adeo 
 nobilibus et divinis confundere ? Hoc enim 
 dominum esset cum mancipio eodem loco 
 ponere. Namque munia sensuum turbaret 
 talis constitutio, mentis aciem obtunderet, & 
 rationis imperium everteret. Innata enim 
 liominibus cupiditas, levi etiam de causa 
 instigata, ac indomita bestia multoties in 
 rectorem suum insiliret, & habenis excussis, 
 de sede sua eum dejiceret. Non dicam 
 quantum obfuturum sit decori & venustati, 
 quantaque loci fuerit iniquitas, Sc laboris 
 dispendium, si omnino membra ilia eo locari 
 debuissent. Quare ea procul hinc abrepta^ 
 aatura sapiens discrevit, Sc faciem alta in 
 
tl6 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 in sede & conspicua coUocari, membra venr 
 genitalia, instar vile pecus in stabula, locum 
 vilem, & depressum detrudi jussiu" 
 . In the fifth chapter, which treats of the 
 dignity of hoses, we meet with a laboured 
 description of the deformity resulting from 
 the mutilation of this important feature. 
 When the nose is cut off, we arc lold^ « thM 
 the gulphs and recesses of the inward farts are 
 disclosed; vast vacuities open^ and caverns dark 
 as the cave of Trophonius ; to the dismay and 
 terror of the beholders."* 
 
 " There is besides," says Taliacotius, 
 " something august and regal in the nose^ 
 cither because it is the sign of coporeal 
 beauty and mental perfection, or because it 
 denotes some peculiar aptness and wisdom 
 in go\'crning. So the Persians admire an 
 
 * Etenim nariuiti apice abscisso, panduntur 
 Mnus & partium intcrnarum recessus, vasti patent 
 hiatus, & caverm, instar antri Trophonii ob- 
 scurx ; horrcndum certe & abominaiidum aspi<. 
 cientibus spectaculum. 
 
 Lib. i. chap. v. 
 
JQF STERNE. \lj 
 
 aquiline nose in their king : so in the Old 
 Testament, those who had too small, or too 
 large, or a distorted nose, were excluded 
 •from the priesthood, and the sacrifices. 
 .Such is the dignity attributed to the nose, 
 that those who are deprived of it are not 
 admitted to the functions of government :" 
 .•which he confirms by historical examples^ 
 .from the dismal narratives of Josephus. 
 .*' The nose, therefore, is of such estimation," 
 ^ concludes, <' that upon the beauty and 
 .{Configuration thereof depend the high(:stec- 
 . desiastical dignities, the noblest governments, 
 and the most extensive kingdoms.* Besides, 
 the nose chiefly distinguishes one individual 
 from another ; wherefore iEneas could hard- 
 ly recognize Dei'phobusj when he encounter- 
 ed him in the shades withou.t his nose,'' 
 which he had lost, like many of Taliacotius's 
 friends, by means of his Helen ^ as Cassan- 
 dra complains in Seneca; 
 
 * Nasus ergo tantz est estimationis, ut ex ejut 
 decore, ornatuquc, summa Sacerdocia, amplissima 
 ^nperia, et regna latissima pcndere videantur. ; 
 
 Ibid, 
 
ixt OF tTtHifS* 
 
 1 incertos gerU 
 
 De'iphobe vultus, conjugU munus nova. 
 
 He then shew?, that the threat -of cutting 
 off the noses and ears of sinners is used in 
 scripture, to denote the utmost degree of 
 desolation and infamy, and he touches slight- 
 ly on the doctrine of the Pythagoreans re- 
 specting the nose; that nature has express* 
 ed in the formation of this feature, the 
 Monade and the Dyadr^ by connecting the 
 two nostrils by a common bridge; an ob- 
 servation from which those pompous triflcrs 
 draw fantastical ideas of the power of cer- 
 tain numbers. We are next told, that the 
 Egyptians used the nose as a hieroglyphic 
 to signify a wise man ; after which follow 
 the Latin phrases, which dcpeqd on this fi- 
 gure. The chapter is concluded by the 
 physiognomonic doctrine of the nose, on 
 •which Mr. Lavater has left qoihing unsaid. 
 
 The obscurity under which Taliacotius's 
 brilliant discoveries on the union of living 
 parts have remained, is not more remarkable 
 
OF STERME. tl9 
 
 than its cause : it was occasioned by the jest 
 of a. Dutchman. The contemptible story 
 which Butler has versified, in his well known 
 lines, was forged by Van Helmont, and 
 obtained such currency through Europe, 
 that even the Testimony of Ambrose Pare 
 in favour of Taiiacotius was disregarded.* 
 
 The real process employed by this great 
 man, in supplying deBcient or mutilated 
 parts, consisted in taking the additional sub. 
 stance from the patient's own arm. That 
 his attempts were successful, we have amp 
 pie testimony in the writings of Pare and 
 other surgeons, though his method seems 
 not to have been adopted by any of them. 
 I shall try to give the reader a general idea 
 of this curious operation, with the view of 
 rescuing the memory of a man of genius 
 
 * So completely unfounded is Van Helmont's 
 itory, that Taiiacotius (lib. i. chap, xviii,) has 
 considered the question formally, whether the 
 supplementary part ought to be taken from the 
 patient himself, or from another person, and has 
 decided for the former. 
 
120-- ILLUSTKATtONS 
 
 from the most galling of evils, the success- 
 ful misrepresentations of stupid malignity*^ 
 When the mutilation of the nose was to be- 
 repaired, the artist fixed, on a sufficient 
 portion of skin on the inside of the arm, 
 about half way between the shoulder and 
 the elbow. This was pinched up with a pair 
 of blunt forceps, and separated on three sides 
 from the other integuments, and from the 
 muscles beneath, so as to form an oblong slip, 
 remaining connected at one end to the rest of 
 the skin, which Taliacotius calls the root of 
 the slip. The edges of the nasal stump were 
 afterwards pared with a scalpel, and the edge 
 of the new slip was attached to them by 
 sutures;* the arm being bound up to the 
 face and head, by a curious apparatus, which 
 my author has elaborately described. The 
 
 * This part of the operation was delayed, till 
 the first inflammatory symptoms in the arm, oc- 
 casioned by the excision of the slip, had subsided. 
 If the operation should ever be revived, this cruet 
 and unnecessary interruption would certainly be 
 avoided. 
 
OF STERNE. 121 
 
 parts were now suffered to uiiite. In the- 
 course of a fortnight the adhesion became 
 so strong, that the engrafted part would bear 
 die experiment of being pulled and fillipped. 
 •* Licebit tunc experiri rem, et traducem. 
 jam infixum non leviter concutere, qui 
 cum validiori nexu cum naribus conjunc- 
 tus sit, omnem motus tunc violentiam egre- 
 gie sustinet."* It was then time to separate 
 the new part from its attachment to the arm, 
 which was performed by dividing the root 
 of the slip. Nothing then remained but to 
 cut the point of the nose into proper form, 
 for which Taliacotius has given a mathema-^ 
 tical rule, and to keep the artificial nostrils 
 open, by means of tents, till the cure was 
 completed. 
 
 If we attentively consider this method of 
 retrieving a deplorable misfortune, which 
 was a frequent consequence of the gallan- 
 tries of that time, it must be allowed that 
 the artist who invented, and who singly 
 
 * Taliacot. lib. ii. cap. xiii. 
 
lil» ILLVITEATIONS 
 
 practised it, possessed uncommon jHTofes^ 
 sional merit. But when we reQect, that the 
 display of facts, precisely similar, respecting' 
 the power of union in living parts, has con.: 
 ferred high celebrity on one of the most cmi#- 
 nent physiologists of our own times, our.re.- 
 spect for the author of the sixteenth century 
 advances to admiration.* I have too high an 
 opinion of the genius of the late Mr, Hu n> 
 TER, to suppose that he was indebted to 
 Taliacotius for his observations on this sub- 
 ject; I believe they were really discoveries to 
 him; but there can be no doubt that he 
 was anticipated by the Italian author. It is 
 a disagreeable proof of the neglect of medi- 
 cal literature, that facts, so important to the 
 theory and practice of the art, were so long 
 obscured by silly and unpardonable preju- 
 dice. 
 
 If the general reader can tolerate my zeal 
 in the cause of neglected merit, I would 
 venture to observe, that Taliacotius cam? 
 
 * Taliacotius published his boolc in 1597. 
 
or STERNE. I»J 
 
 nirprisingly near the present theory of the 
 
 manner in which the union of living parts 
 
 is effected. Had the true doctrine of the 
 
 circulation of the blood been discovered in 
 
 his time, he would have been deficient in 
 
 nothing. His only guide, embarrassed as 
 
 he was with ancient errors, which he was 
 
 forced to respect, was the vegetable process 
 
 of engrafting. This analogy led him so 
 
 &r, that he supposed the veins of the newly 
 
 united parts to coalesce, by mutual elonga* 
 
 tion. The arteries were then supposed to 
 
 contain no blood. He says,* « Dicendum 
 
 itaque est profecto vel novam vasorum so- 
 
 bolem denuo regenerari, vel conservatis iis, 
 
 quae cum brachio inhaereret [traduxj, ad- 
 
 erant, cutis ductibus et eorum oris, cum iis, 
 
 qu£ in curtis sunt, canaliculis commissis 
 
 rursus coalescere; vel si neque hoc fiat, 
 
 vasa ilia in curtis existentia, hos novarum 
 
 partium ductus excitare, et agendi vim tri- 
 
 buere." After considering, with great soli* 
 
 * Lib. i. cap. xxv. 
 
124 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 dity of reasoning, the supposition thai ne^r 
 vessels -were generated between the adherent 
 parts (an idea which Mr. Hunter .suppbrtedi 
 to prove the life of the blood), he concludes 
 in these words ; " Itaque tamen ea, quae sunt 
 in traduce vasa, quam in supite narium, 
 consei-vata hactenus coire, et oscuHs adjuncr 
 tis invicem coalescere, si quid ratio valet 
 (nam hie oculi czecutiunt) proculdubio afr 
 firmabimus."* The physiological reader 
 owly can appreciate the profound sagacity 
 of this conclusion, in a writer who lived 
 long before the discovery of the true course 
 of the blood. If Taliacotius had exchanged 
 places with Harvey, he would probably 
 have made better use qf that improvement, 
 which Harvey contented himself with hpldr 
 ing out to admiration. 
 
 O fountain Arethuse, and thou honour'd flood, 
 Smooth-sliding Mincius, crown'd with vocal reed}, 
 That strain I heard was of a higher mood; 
 But now my oat procceds.f 
 
 • Id. ib. 
 t Lycidas. 
 
OF STERNEt li^ 
 
 Several inconveniences attended the artir 
 ficial noses engrafted by our author, which 
 he has specified, and which could only be 
 known from actual experience. It was ne- 
 cessary to make the new parts considerably 
 larger than the original nose,* because ia 
 the course of a year or two, they became 
 shrivelled widi cold, and at the end of that 
 time were even smaller than the ancient or- 
 gans. The first severe frost after the ope^ 
 ration was apt to discolour the nose, or even 
 to turn it black, and sometimes to make it 
 fall off: it was therefore to be preserved 
 like a Russian's nose, in a cover. How^ 
 ever, it was thought a less evil, to wear a 
 nose rather too large and too long, for a 
 few years, than to have no nose at all.t 
 Another grievance was, diat the new nose 
 being taken from a part which is covered 
 with longer down than the skin of the face, 
 
 * L,ih. i. cap. xxlv. In quo restitutx nares 
 ex cutanea propamine, a naturalibus ante retcctii 
 differant. 
 
 t Ibid. 
 
1S6 ILiUSTRATIONS 
 
 ' was apt to become very hairy, and even ia 
 require shaving.* The new nostrils were 
 also liable to be contracted in their diame<> 
 ter by length of time, and when they were 
 neglected, to be shut up entirely. But in 
 return, the new nose possessed a more acute 
 sense, both of touch and smelling, than its 
 predecessor.t The reader must perceive 
 what a resource was denied to Mr. Shandy^ 
 after the demolition of his son's nose, by 
 Sterne's want of acquaintance with our au' 
 thor. To endow Tristram with a much 
 larger and more sagacious nose, so careful 
 a parent would have been tempted to ampu- 
 tate the little that Dr. Slop had spared. 
 
 Dr. Garmann has written a chapter on 
 the sympathy of artificial noses,J in his CU' 
 rious book De Miraculis Mortuorum ', he 
 
 • Non raro pratterea contingit, iit in novi* 
 naribuspiliexpuUulentatque in eamlongitudincm 
 cluxurient, ut noVacuIam aliquando adbiberi &«• 
 cesse est. Idem, Ibid< 
 
 \ Idem, Ibid. 
 
 X De Nasi insititii sympathia. 
 
lias stated} in this, the famous instance of 
 Cyrus's nose very strongly. «* Nasum 
 aduncum prominentemque estimabant Per- 
 sae^ quod Cj^rus tali naso armatus 
 regnum capesserit."* He denies Taliaco- 
 tius's claim to the invention of this opera- 
 tion, and mentions a remarkable passage in 
 the letters of an earlier writer, announcing 
 the discovery to his friend, who had lost his 
 nose, and informing him that he may now 
 he fitted with as large a nose as he chooses. 
 ** De hoc isu Calttinm in Uteris ad Orpia* 
 nam mutilum : Branca Siculusy ingenio vir 
 egregio, didicit nares inserere, quas vel de 
 brachio reficit, vel de servis mutuatus im- 
 pingiu Haec ubi vidi decrevi ad te scribere, 
 nihil existimans carius esse posse. Quod 
 si veneris, scito, te domum cum grandi 
 quamvis naso rediturum esse.t Whether 
 the practice was known in Bologna before 
 Taliacotius, we have no accurate means of 
 
 * Page 8s. 
 
 f De Miraculii Mortuorunii p. 84. 
 
ie8 ILLUSTRATI0K3 
 
 determining: we certainly have no. earlier 
 treatise on it than his. Licetus says, that 
 he often saw Taliacotius operate, during bis 
 residence at Bologna as a student. If other 
 surgeons had ventured on the same attempt, 
 
 La citta dc la Salciccia fina • 
 
 would have been as much celebrated for 
 its fabrication of noses, as for its sausages. 
 Fienus, a Lovain-Professor, and author 
 of a well-known book on the Power of the 
 Iviagination, has given a very satisfactory 
 account of the operation for the restitution 
 of the nose, in his surgical tracts. He says, 
 that he had frequently seen Taliacotius per- 
 form it, and that he had examined many 
 noses which the artist had engrafted ; among 
 other disadvantages, he found that the artificial 
 nose was apt to be too pliable, and to haflg 
 down like a turkey's. Fienus diought It 
 necessary that the new nose should be kept 
 in a case, during at least two years. 
 
 • Tassoni. 
 
..OF STERKEi 129 
 
 if the reader wishes to consult any other 
 aathorities, concerning the reality of this 
 (^ration, he will find a long list in that 
 chapter of Dr. Garmann to which I have 
 already referred. 
 
 It is said that a similar practice is knowil 
 in Asia (where the point of the nose is an 
 object of so much importance), and that the 
 new part is supplied from the patient's own 
 forehead. 
 
 But the chief merit of the discovery was 
 undoubtedly due to Taliacotius, who re* 
 quires, according to the ceremonies of his 
 time, a compliment at parting. 
 
 Brave mind, which durst, like Diomede, engage 
 To check the Paphian Queen's most deadly rage^ 
 The trifler's wonder, and the witling's jest, 
 Base tools of envy, long thy fame supprest } 
 The' pagan Jove display'd no art so high^ 
 In Pelops' shoulder, or the Samian's thigh i 
 I'ho' even the boast of Alchemy less bold, 
 To change imperfect ore to perfect gold : 
 ^y nobler thoughts approach'd creative skilli 
 Life, sense, and motion waiting on thy will. 
 
130 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 The French writers, especially thostf of 
 the sixteenth century, used the figures deriv- 
 ed from the nose very liberally. Eire ca~ 
 VMS, signifies with them to appear surprised 
 and abashed. Vigneul-Marville mentions 
 a curious anecdote on this subject, which 
 accords very closely with a passage in Stertie. 
 
 " Les nes camus deplaisent, et sont de 
 mauvaise augure. Le Connetable Anne 
 de Montmorency etoit camus ; et on 1' ap- 
 pelloit a la cour, le camus de Montmorency. 
 Le Due de Guise, fils de celui qui fut tue a 
 Blois, etoit aussi camus ; etj'ai connu un 
 genlilhomme qui ayant une veneration sin- 
 guliere pour ces deux maisons de Guise et 
 de Montmorency, ne se pouvoit consoler 
 de ce qu'il s'y etoit trouve deux camus, 
 comme si ce defaut en diminuoit le lustre."* 
 " He, (Mr. Shandy) would often de- 
 clare, in speaking his thoughts upon the sub- 
 ject, that he did not conceive how the great- 
 est family in England could stand it out 
 
 • Tom, i, p. 140. 
 
or STERNE. 131 
 
 against an uninterrupted succession of six 
 or seven short noses "* This is a curious 
 coincidence ; I pretend to call it no more. — 
 But it must be added, that Marville's Mis- 
 cellanies appear to have been much read, 
 about the time when Sterne wrote. 
 
 I am inclined to doubt whether Sterne 
 had read this author, because I find much 
 philosophy concerning noses in his se- 
 cond volume, which might have been ac- 
 commodated to Tristram. He observes, 
 that every face, however ugly it may ap- 
 pear, possesses such a degree of symmetry, 
 that the alteration of any feature would ren- 
 der it more deformed. " t For instance, if it 
 
 * Tris. Shandy, vol. iii. chap, xxxiii. 
 
 f Par exemple, si I'on pretcnduit alonger le 
 nez d'un camus, je dis qii'on ne feroic rien qui 
 vaille i parceque ce ncz ecanc alonge, il ne feroic 
 plussimecrie avec les autres parties du visage, qui 
 ecant d'une certaine grandeur, et aiant de cer- 
 taines elevations, ou de certains enfoncemens, de- 
 nandent que le nez leur soit proporcionne. Ain- 
 li seloa des ccrtaines regies trcs parfaites en dies- 
 
132 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 were attempted to lengthen the nose of a 
 flat-nosed man, I should expect no improve- 
 ment of his appearance ; because this nose 
 being lengthened, would no longer corres- 
 pond with the other parts of the face, which 
 
 memes, un camus doit £tre camus ; et selon ces 
 regies c'est un visage regulier qui devicndroit un 
 monstre si on lui faisoit le nez aquilin. Je dis 
 bien plus, qu'l est quelquefois aussi necessaire 
 qu' un homme n' ait point de nez, qu' il est ne* 
 cessaire dans I'ordre Toscan, par exemple, que le 
 chapiteau de sa colon n'ait point de volute. C'est 
 un bel ornement que la volute dans I'ordre lon- 
 ique ou dans le Corinthien, mais ce seroit un 
 monstre ct un irrrgularile dans 1' ordrc Toscan. 
 Un petit nez, des petits yeux, une grande bouche 
 qui nous choqucnt d' ordinaire, appartiennent a 
 un ordrc de beautc, qui peut bien n'etre pas de 
 notre goust ; mais que nous ne devons pas con- 
 damncr, parce qu'en cffet c'est un ordre qui a ses 
 regies, qu' il ne nous appartient pas de contredire. 
 
 Que les Francois meprisent les nez camus et 
 les petits yeux, et que les Chinois les estiment, 
 ces sent des bizarreries et des extravagances de 
 1' esprit humain, &c. Vigneul-Marville Melanges 
 d'Histoire et de Litterature, torn, ii. p. 164, i6j< 
 
OF STERNE. I33 
 
 being of a given size, and having their given 
 elevations and depressions, require a nose 
 proportioned to them. Thus, according to 
 certain rules, complete in themselves, a flat- 
 nosed man ought to be flat-nosed, and, ac- 
 cording to those rules, he has a regular face, 
 which would become monstrous, if an aqui- 
 line nose were clapped upon it, I go far- 
 ther, and I advance, that it is sometimes 
 as necessary that a man should be without 
 nose, as that in the Tuscan order, the capi- 
 tal of the column should have no volute. 
 The volute is a beautiful ornament in the 
 Ionic or Corinthian order, but in the Tus- 
 can it would be a monster, and an irregula- 
 rity. A short nose, small eyes, and a wide 
 mouth, which commonly disgust us, belong 
 to an order of beauty, which we may not ad- 
 mire, but which we ought not to condemn, 
 because in effect it is an order which has its 
 rules, that we have no business to contradict. 
 " Let the French despise flat noses and 
 little eyes, and the Chinese esteem them; 
 these are the caprices and extravagancies of 
 the imagination. But upon our principles, 
 
134 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 it appears, that there may be as many dif- 
 ferent orders of beauty as of architecture." 
 
 This mode of reasoning would have been 
 very useful to Uncle Toby. He might have 
 proved, that there ought to be flat noses as 
 well as flat bastions. 
 
 We meet with this peculiar phraseology 
 again, in a passage in the Memoirs of La 
 Porte. In mentioning a conversation with 
 Anne of Austria respecting the views which 
 he suspected Mademoiselle de Montpensier 
 to entertain of a marriage with Louis xiv. 
 he says, " Je dis tout cela a la Reine, qui se 
 mocqua de moi, me disant ; ce n' est pour 
 son nez, quoiqu' il sojt bien grand."* 
 
 Sterne's curious dilemma, by which a 
 very large nose must fall off from the man, 
 or the man must fall off from his nose, was 
 anticipated by Tabarin, in whose dialogues 
 more is said on the subject of noses than I 
 care to repeat. " O qu' il le feroit beau voir 
 sur la Montagne de Montmartre, avec un nez 
 
 * Memoirs de la Porte, p. 275. 
 
OF STERNE. 135 
 
 de dix lieues de long, car on y void de fort 
 loing. II lui faudroit des fourches pour 
 soustcnir son nez."t 
 
 The French have lampooned long noses 
 almost as much as the Greeks. Granger, 
 in the Pedant jfoue, is said to have a nose 
 which always made its appearance a quarter 
 of an hour before its owner : '* cet autentique 
 nez arrive partout un quart d' heure devant 
 son maitre." And even D'Alembert, who 
 united more good sense and good taste in 
 his criucal works than any other French 
 writer, has published some curious details 
 by d'Olivet concerning the nose of the Abbe 
 Genest, which was the admiration of the 
 courtiers, and the subject of royal wit. 
 
 « While the Abbe Genest was at Rome, 
 he often dined with Cardinal d'Estrees, who 
 was fond of poets, and who had himself 
 written well in his youth. One day, when 
 his Eminence had a great deal of company, 
 there was a person at table, who, having a 
 
 * Questions Tabariniijues, 
 
136 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 very large nose, gave occasion to a man of 
 humour,* one of the guests, to vent a num? 
 ber of witticisms, good or bad, on this mon- 
 strous nose, of which he pretended to be 
 afraid. The Abbe Genest arrived, who 
 merely looked in, and attempted to steal off, 
 that he might not disturb the party ; but the 
 Cardinal recalled him, and desired him to 
 take his seat. Then the bel humore having 
 Considered this second apparition of a great 
 nose, affected a greater degree of terror, and 
 exclaimed to the Cardinal; EminenlissimOt 
 per un, si puo soffrire, ma per duo no ;+ and 
 throwing down his napkin, he disappeared 
 with all speed."]; 
 
 We read, also, of Despointis, a Parisian 
 counsellor, whose nose was so immoderately 
 long, that it attracted the notice of passen- 
 gers in the street, who would turn and gaze 
 
 • Un le/ humore. 
 
 + May it please your eminence, I could bear 
 one, but it is impossible to endure two. 
 
 + Histoirc des Membres de TAcademie Fran^ 
 co'mc, toin. iii. p. 454. 
 
OP STERNE. 137 
 
 at it, to the hazard of their lives. The sha- 
 dow of this nose happened one day to fall on 
 a. very little counsellor, named Coqueley, and 
 eclipsed him so totally, that the judge could 
 not perceive him when it was his turn to 
 plead. Coqueley remonstrated, like Rago- 
 tin, but with as little effect; Despoinds would 
 not yield his place. The litde hero, exas- 
 perated beyond all patience, seized the point 
 of his antagonist's nose, and turning it aside, 
 according to the laws of the lever, said, you 
 may stay where you are, but I am determin- 
 ed that your nose shall make room for me."* 
 I have La Rinomachie or the Battle of 
 Noses, a French poem, as long as Brus- 
 cambille's Prologue, but it contains nothing 
 worthy of attention. 
 
 Great attendon was paid to the form of 
 the nose among the Roman Catholic clergy ; 
 some of the disqualifications for priest's or- 
 ders were, little noses, because they implied 
 ignorance ; great noses, because the owner 
 
 t L' iieureux Chanoine. Paris, 1707. 
 
138 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 was supposed to be puffed up with pride (as 
 he well might, according to the doctrines of 
 which I have given a view) and wry-noses, 
 because they implied a perverseness of un- 
 dersunding.* 
 
 The passage quoted above from Vigneul- 
 Marville coincides with the opinions of Mr. 
 Lavater, who has shewed himself a zealous 
 champion for the consequence of the nose, 
 and for homogeneity of features. 
 
 This very ingenious, but too fanciful wri- 
 ter, has formed an indication of genius which 
 I believe is entirely his own, from the de- 
 gree of the returning angle which is formed 
 by the junction of the nose with the upper 
 lip. I doubt the justness of such arbitrary 
 marks. 
 
 Mr. Lavater has been puzzled, I observe, 
 to explain the expression of anxiety in 
 Locke's portrait. It was certainly inde- 
 pendent of that great man's character. He 
 was subject to fits of asthma, and contract- 
 
 • Man of Sin, p. 76. 
 
or STERNE. 139 
 
 ed the appearance of distressful struggles 
 from his sufFerings in that disease. A medi- 
 cal observer would pronounce Locke to 
 have been asthmatic, from the first view of 
 his busts and prints. I believe, indeed, that 
 almost every disease is characterized by a 
 peculiar expression of the countenance, and 
 that medical physiognomy might be culti- 
 vated with the highest benefit to mankind. 
 Unfortunately, to treat of this art with suc- 
 cess, an author mui>t not only be an excel- 
 lent physician, but a good painter. 
 
 I shall close my view of foreign writers 
 on the philosophy of noses, with Riolan$ 
 who as a Frenchman and an anatomist felt 
 a double interest in the discussion. " The 
 nose," he informs us, " is the index of genius 
 and understanding." He then repeats the 
 story of the Persians, and adds from Plato, 
 that it was the duty of the ennuchs, who at- 
 tended the youths of the royal family, to 
 form their noses elegantly, by keeping tubes 
 in their nostrils. He adds, " In lege Mo- 
 saica Levitic. cap. xxi. qui naso pravo erant 
 
140 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 prsediti, judicati fuere indigni sacerdotio, 
 proinde Venusino poetsc in arte poetica, vita 
 displiceret, si deformem obtinuisset nasum : 
 
 Non Diagis ctse vclim, quam pravo vivere naso," 
 &c.» 
 
 I have observed, that our language is ra- 
 ther deficient in allusions to this organ, espe- 
 cially respecting its varieties, either of length 
 or curtailment. Dunton, indeed, says, that 
 judge Jeffreys had a nose fit for the great 
 service of destroying schismatics, " for he 
 told the grand jury at Taunton, that he 
 could smell a Presbyterian forty miles."t 
 And Dr. Johnson called sagacity the nosa 
 of the mind.jj; But a later attempt has been 
 made, to detect this figure in the very rudi- 
 ments of our language, by the ingenious 
 Dr. Beddoes. " We have," says he, " a 
 remarkable class of noun svhitahtiveSj&s they 
 are called by the grammarian; though ac~ 
 
 • Anlhropogrjphia, p. 213. It isneedlf.-i lo obr 
 serve how much Riolan has mistaken the sense of 
 Horace in this passage. 
 
 + Panegyric on Jeffreys. 
 
 t Boswell's Life of Johnson, vol. iii. p. 599, 
 
OF STERNE. 141 
 
 cording to the metaphysician, they cannot 
 stand by themselves, but are supported by 
 substaniiiEes. The words I mean are good- 
 ness, great-ness, and their fellows. We have 
 similar words ending in head. Onhedi in 
 old English, is unity {one head). It will not, 
 I presume, be denied, that head {capvt) is 
 here used in composition. Now, in the 
 other case, I suspect, that it is part of the 
 head which is used; the nose, ness, nez, 
 French. Both words have been indifferent- 
 ly employed to mark the points of land that 
 are or have been conspicuous. Will not 
 this geographical analogy be admitted as a 
 strong confirmation of my opinion ? liness 
 be any part of the body, what part else can 
 we imagine it to be, whether we regard sound 
 or situation ? There exists an etymological 
 as truly as a moral sense ; and those who 
 have acquired the former, will feel by how 
 very natural a transition two such eminent 
 members of the body natural, as the head 
 and nosej came to denote abstract qualities*"* 
 
 * Monthly Magazine, for July, 1796. 
 
142 XLtUST&ATlONt 
 
 What a blaze of light (to use the favourite 
 modem trope) do these observations throw 
 on Mr. Shandy's hypothesis : and'^how tri- 
 umphantly would he have opened to Uncle 
 Toby the mystery of littleness {little nose), 
 and of meanness (mean nose), of rashness 
 (rash nose), whence we talk of a man's 
 thrusting his nose into matters which do not 
 concern him ; and of many other knotty and 
 perplexing terms and phrases! All this 
 might be done with a tolerable portion of 
 leisure and application; for I suspect that 
 the etymological sense is very similar to the 
 sense required for playing at whist, driving 
 four in hand, or adjusting with philosophi- 
 cal precision the angle of incidence of a ten- 
 nis-ball. 
 
 It is easy to account for the mystery in 
 which Sterne has involved this subject, from 
 the preceding extracts. He had obtained a 
 glimpse of the physiognomic doctrines re- 
 specting the nose, but he was ignorant of the 
 general systems which had prevailed con- 
 cerning the art itself. He does not appear 
 
OF stern£. x43 
 
 to have been acquainted even with the work 
 of Baptista Porta. To have completed Mr. 
 Shandy's character, he ought to have been a 
 professed physiognomist. Slawkenbergius's 
 treatise would then have taken form and sub- 
 stance, and Sterne would have written one 
 of the most interesting and amusing books 
 that ever appeared. 
 
 Perhaps no man possessed so many 
 requisites for producing a good work on 
 physiognomy. His observation of charac- 
 ters was sagacious, minutely accurate, and 
 unwearied. His feeling was ever just, versatile 
 as life itself, and was conveyed to the read- 
 er with full effect, because without affecta- 
 tion. But his imaginadon was ill-regulated, 
 and it had a constant tendency to form com- 
 binations on this particular subject, which 
 his taste alone, to say nothing of other mo- 
 tives, shonld have led him to reject. 
 
 I shall conclude this chapter, with a curi- 
 ous question reladng to the dignity of the 
 nose. The common-point of honour is suf- 
 ficiently known. Segar, in his Honour Mi- 
 
144 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 litarie CS Civil, p. 127, puts this case respect- 
 ing duels; « Two gentlemen being in fightj 
 the one putteth out the eye of his eneihie, 
 and hee in rcquitall of that hurt cutteth off 
 his nose : the question is, who is by those 
 hurts most dishonoured ? It may seem at the 
 first sight, that losse of an eye is greatest, 
 being a member placed above, and that with- 
 out the sight a man prooveth unfit for all 
 worldly actions: yet for so much as the 
 want of a nose is commonly accompted the 
 greatest deformitie, and a punishment due 
 for infamous offences, it may be reason- 
 ably inferred, that the losse of that feature 
 should bring with it most dishonour. Be- 
 sides that, seeing man is made according to 
 the image of God, we account that the face 
 being made more deformed by the losse of 
 the nose than of one eye, therefore the great- 
 est honour of the combat is due unto him 
 who taketh the nose of the enemie." 
 
OF STERNE. 145 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 Uncle Toby's hohby-hone — Amours — Story 
 ojSorlisi. 
 
 ^t. Augustine has said very Justly, in his 
 Confessions, that the trifling of adults is cal- 
 led business :' majorum nuga negotia vocan~ 
 tur. The present times are peculiarly in- 
 dulgent in this respect. What the last age 
 denominated follies, or hobby-horses, we 
 style collections '. Uncle Toby's library would 
 have required no apology among the hunt- 
 ers of old ballads, and church-wardens' bills 
 of our day. I am sensible that a much 
 better defence might be made for him : it 
 would be easy to prove the utility of his 
 studies, and to shew, not only that the fate 
 
146 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 of empires has sometimes depended on 
 the construction of the retired flank of a 
 bastion, but that without some portion of 
 his knowledge, it is impossible to under- 
 stand completely some of the most interest- 
 ing passages in modem history. But I am 
 aware that this « sweet fountain of know- 
 ledge," as Sterne names it, is relished by 
 few : it is " caviar' to the generality of 
 readers. They will probably feel more in- 
 terest in the curious coincidence between 
 the story of Widow Wadman, and one 
 which made a great noise in Germany, a lit- 
 tle after the middle of the last century. The 
 origin of the lady's distress was nearly the 
 same, but her conduct was very different 
 from Sterne's heroine, and d;d the highest 
 honour to her purity. The misadventure 
 of the gentleman happened only thirty-six 
 years before the siege of Namur by King 
 William, where Sterne laid the scene of 
 Uncle Toby's wound. The distresses of 
 this pair, who may be almost termed the 
 Abelard and Heloise of Germany (saving 
 
or ST£RN£< 147 
 
 that they prosecuted their affections with the 
 strictest virtue, en tout bien et en tout honneuf) 
 deserve to be more generally known. Their 
 history has been confined to an obscure 
 book,* and has never yet found its way into 
 our language: I shall therefore venture to 
 make a sketch of it. 
 
 My readers may perhaps recollect, that 
 Charles x- of Sweden invaded Denmark, in 
 1659; that after passing the Sound, and 
 taking the castle of Cronenburg, he laid 
 siege to Copenhagen; where he lost so much 
 time in preparing for a general assault, that 
 the inhabitants, aided by the gallant exer- 
 tions of the Dutch cannoneers, recovered 
 sufficient spirits to repulse him; and that 
 the Swedes, after raising the siege, were at- 
 tacked and defeated in the Isle of Fiihnen, 
 where the remaining part of their amy was 
 obliged to surrender at discretion. 
 
 • Valentini's Novelise Medlco-legales; under 
 the title of Conjugiitm Eunuchi, An entertaina 
 ing selection might be made from this book. 
 
14^ ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 In the battle of Fiihnen, which cost th« 
 Swedes upwards of two thousand men, be* 
 sides several general officers) Bartholomevr 
 de Sorlisi, a young nobleman in Charles's 
 service^ had the misfortune to receive a 
 musket shot of the most cruel nature. He 
 was speedily cured, and was enabled, by 
 the fidelity of his surgeon, to conceal 
 the consequences of his Wound. Dis- 
 gusted by this accident with the army, he 
 retired to an estate which he had purchased 
 in Pomerania, where he endeavoured to 
 bury his melancholy in the occupations 
 of a country-Fife* But in the course of 
 time, the desire of society returned, and 
 having frequent occasions to consult an old 
 nobleman in the neighbourhood, respecting 
 the management of his estate, he insensibly 
 contracted an intimacy wirfi the family, 
 which consisted of his friend's wife and 
 daughter. Dorothea Elizabeth Lichtwer, 
 then a beautiful girl of sixteen, inspired 
 Sorlisi with so ardent a passion, that he at- 
 tempted every method to engage her affec* 
 
or STERNE. 149 
 
 !dons, without a!lo>ving himself to consider 
 the injustice of his pretensions. His assi. 
 duities were crowned with success; he found 
 his attachment repaid, and soon gained such 
 an interest in his mistress's heart, that he 
 demanded her in marriage. As he had be- 
 come a favourite with the whole family, his 
 proposals were readily accepted; and if he 
 could have suppressed his secret conscious- 
 ness, happiness and joy would have appear-, 
 ed to court him. 
 
 Unfortunately, his alliance was disagree- 
 able to some of the lady's relations, for three 
 excellent reasons : he was a stranger, a ro- 
 man catholic, and his family had been but 
 recendy ennobled by Christina. These dis- 
 qualifications, howeyer, might have been 
 surmounted, especially as 3orlisi, about this 
 "time, became knowi^ to the Elector pf Sax- 
 ony, who appointed him one qf hjs cham- 
 berlains, but an unexpected piece qf p'cach- 
 ery put him into the hands of his enemies, 
 
 Sorlisi happened to consult the physician 
 usually employed in the Licbtwer family, 
 
t$0 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 and in the confidence which naturally arises 
 between medical men and their patients, had 
 disclosed to him the secret which preyed 
 upon his mind. The officious doctor, for- 
 getting not only his inaugural, oath, but the 
 obligations of honour and gratitude, betiayi- 
 ed his patient's confidence to the discontent- 
 ed part of the family, and furnished them 
 widi a tale capable of over\vhelming the 
 object of their hatred j especially as about 
 this time, death deprived the Ipvers of a pow- 
 erful friend in Mr. Lichtwer. Many men 
 would have shrunk from the obloquy which 
 was now let loose against Sorlisi,but he faced 
 the storm gallandy; and by exposing his 
 life in some duels at the- onset, obtained an 
 exemption from any.farther private insults. 
 But the greatest trial of his firmness was 
 yet behind : it was impossible longer to con- 
 ceal the cause of all his vexations from his 
 intended bride, and it became necessary for 
 him to explain hjs real situation. What a 
 painful confession for Sorlisi, desperately 
 enamoured, and yet touched with the nicesf 
 
or STEKNC. 151 
 
 feelings of honour ! What reproaches might 
 he not expect from his mistress, when she 
 discovered her affections to be fixed on a 
 ^dow; the fervent expectations of love 
 and youth deceived; with the prospect of 
 infamy and scorn clinging to her future con- 
 necuon. Could an inexperienced girl coiv. 
 quer such alarming obstacles to his pursuit ? 
 Sorlisi determined to try. How he manag- 
 ed this delicate communicadon ; with what 
 preparatives and softenings he introduced 
 his melancholy narrative; and with what 
 emodon he appealed to the generosity of 
 the fair one, and the compassion of the ma- 
 tron, we are left to imagine. Madame de 
 Lichtwer seemed inclined to give up the 
 match; but the amiable Dorothea declared 
 that no misfortune could affect her attach- 
 ment, and that she was determined to pass 
 her life with Sorlisi, under every disadvant. 
 age. So exalted a strain of tenderness could 
 not fail to produce acquiescence and respect 
 in the heart of a mother, and the lovers 
 were soon after betrothed, in presence of 
 
*S9 ILLySTRATIpNS 
 
 Madame de Lichtwcr and a select party qf 
 friends. 
 
 To complete their marriage became a 
 matter of difficulty, for several theologists 
 had taken the alarm, and murmured so loiid- 
 ly against the proposed scandal, that in con- 
 sequence of the machinations of their ene- 
 mies, it was evident that every clergyman 
 would be deterred fropi solemnizing the 
 nuptials. 
 
 In this urgency, it was again necessary 
 for Sorlisi to undergo the mortification of 
 repeating his unhappy case, He drew it 
 up in August, 1666, for the opinion of the 
 Ecclesiastical Consistory at Leipsic, using 
 the feigned names of Titius and Lucretia, 
 and giving the best turn to the matter that 
 it would bear. The Consistory, availing it- 
 self of a very considerate distinction,* gave 
 
 * Ut taceamus, in hac persona virili non qui- 
 dem talem impotentiam et inhabilitatem observari 
 quae generationis actum, ut scholastici loquuntur, 
 &ed generationis cfFectum tantum impedit. Con- 
 jug. Eunuchi, p. 109. 
 
OF STERNE. 1^3 
 
 favounible answer; though they acknow^ 
 ledged, that the impossibility of having off- 
 spring was the only one out of eighteen rea- 
 sons, which Luther admitted as a sufficient 
 plea for divorce. 
 
 All that was now wanting, was a mandate 
 from the Elector, to authorize the comple- 
 tion of the marriage ; but as he thought pro- 
 per to consult several theologists on the 
 subject, nothing was decided till the suc- 
 ceeding year, when the mandate was grant- 
 ed, which imposed, at the same time, a dis- 
 cretionary fine upon Sorlisi, by way of 
 quieting the tender consciences of those vho 
 opposed the match, for the honour of the 
 Lutheran church. 
 
 The marriage ceremony was therefore, at 
 length, privately performed at Sorlisi's coun- 
 try-house. 
 
 Here the malice of their enemies might 
 have been expected to rest: but they re- 
 turned to the attack with fresh fury, resolute 
 to dissolve the union, or to embitter the lives 
 pf ^is persecuted pair, Their chaste atr 
 
154 II.LU8TRATI0NS 
 
 .tachment was to be subjected to the coarse 
 discussions, and abominable constructions 
 of dull theologists, animated by party-zeal, 
 and totally incapable of estimating the sen- 
 timents of a respectable woman; their names 
 were to be coupled widi scorn and reproach; 
 and every effort of Teutonic eloquence was 
 to be employed, to persuade them that they 
 ought to find no satisfaction in living toge- 
 ther. 
 
 The Supreme Ecclesiastical Consistory, 
 which had hitherto taken no cognizance of 
 the affair, now interposed, and demanded 
 that the parties should be separated, to do 
 away the great scandal which their union 
 gave to the godly. 
 
 To take off the force of this formid- 
 able interference, Sorlisi had recourse to 
 that method by which die papal bulls have 
 been so often tamed. He offered to en- 
 large his fine to the extent of building a 
 church, and providing a stipend for a preach- 
 er. The Consistory could not instandy 
 retract, but this proposal certainly procured 
 
OF STERNB. I55 
 
 time for digesting conciliatory measures. 
 Jn the mean time, as Madame de Sorlisi 
 protested that she would rather die than for- 
 sake her husband, her ghosdy directors 
 thought it veiy edifying to punish her con- 
 tumacy, by refusing her the sacrament. 
 
 In a matter of so much consequence to 
 the Protestant religion, as the union of two 
 persons, who preferred each other's happi- 
 ness to the scruples of their reverences, it 
 was necessary to consult grave examples. 
 That of our Henry viii. seems to have 
 occurred to all pardes; it was therefore 
 agreed to collect the opinions of the diffe- 
 rent theological faculdes in Germany, of 
 the Lutheran persuasion. My fair readers 
 must excuse me from detailing the whole 
 distincdons of those learned bodies; for it 
 seems, that to counteract the pracdce of 
 vice, they had thought it necessary to be 
 completely masters of every vice in specu> 
 lation. 
 
 The faculty of Hasse-Giessen professed 
 great concern for the young lady, and ap- 
 
156 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 prehended that her husband could not fail 
 to tonnent her inexpressibly ; quoting the 
 famous passage from St. Basil, " instarbovis 
 cui cornua sunt abscissa, imaginem impetus 
 facere, incredibilera vesaniam spirando." 
 After much other reasoning on her unhappy 
 situation, they concluded, that as the matri- 
 monial ceremony had been profaned by this 
 union, it was necessary to dissolve it imme- 
 diately. 
 
 I apprehend, that the communication of 
 the case must have operated in some very 
 sudden and extraordinary manner on the 
 faculty of Strasburg, so much agitation and 
 wonder do they express on coming at the 
 knowledge of such a scandal, which they 
 say, « cannot be tolerated, or approved, or 
 defended." While thiey wished to weep 
 tears of blood over the indiscretion of those 
 who had permitted this union (always saving 
 his Electoral Highness) they could not avoid 
 testifying the greatest horror against the la- 
 dy's desire to live with her husband: itwas, 
 tbey said, a mortal siq. 
 
OF STERNE. i^f 
 
 So extreme was the agoiiy and perturba--^ 
 tionofthe Strasburg doctors, that I could not 
 help suspecting their consultation had been 
 held in the mdst dangerous part of a hot 
 autumn; but, on referring to the date, 1 Blid 
 it took place in November, 1667. 
 
 Finally, they exclaimed that if the young 
 toiiple persisted in their refusal to separate, 
 they ought to be banished from a land of 
 piety; and that severe punishments should 
 be inflicted On Madame de Lichtwer, and 
 those relations who had encouraged so dam- 
 nable a connection. 
 
 The matter worked more gendy with the 
 faculty of Jena. They made some al- 
 lowances for the strength of attachment 
 which the parties displayed, and appeared to 
 experience some faint touches of humanity. 
 They thought, however, tliat as the only ex- 
 cusable motive which could induce Sorlisi to 
 tnariy &t all must be the desire of society, 
 he would have acted mote properly, if he 
 had taken unto himself some quiet old wo- 
 man to manage his family. And for divers 
 
158 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 Other reasons, which they reckoned very 
 solid, it was their opinion that a separation 
 should take place. 
 
 The faculty of Kznigsberg, proceeding 
 on the principle, volenti non Jit injuria^ 
 thought that great regard should be had to 
 the contentment expressed by the lady, al- 
 though they were not quite satisBed with the 
 affair. They put a very subtle case, in 
 which they imagined that even the Pope 
 must permit an union of this kind : " sc. si 
 maritus quidam a barbaris castratur et ab- 
 hinc mulieri suae cohabitare et camaliter, ut 
 ante, se miscere voluerit." And upon the 
 whole they ccMicluded, that the marriage 
 should be deemed valid, and the parties re* 
 admitted to all religious privileges. 
 
 I am most pleased with the decision of 
 the faculty of Gripswald: they opined, that 
 as the lady had got into the scrape with her 
 eyes open, they might suffer her to take the 
 consequences without danger to their own 
 souls; and that as she had been encouraged 
 by her mother and several friends in her at- 
 
OF STERNE. 159 
 
 tachment to Sorlisi, it did not quite amount 
 to a mortal transgression. 
 
 While these huge bodies of divinity thun- 
 dered forth their decrees, a shoal of small 
 Writers skirmished on both sides. The noise 
 of the contest occupied the attention of all 
 Dresden. 
 
 One Dr. Bulaeus, on the part of the Sor. 
 lisis, proved in form, that there was nothing 
 so very scandalous and alarming as had been 
 represented, in their marriage. He shewed, 
 with great modesty, that excepting the cer- 
 tain prospect of sterility, they had no pecu- 
 liar cause of dissatisfaction, and that other 
 matches, equally objectionable in that re- 
 spect, were often concluded between persons 
 of very unequal ages. He also shrewdly 
 observed, that no small scandal had been 
 given, by the singular discussions in which 
 their reverences had indulged; discussions 
 which he considered as snares for their con- 
 sciences, and not highly edifying to the pub- 
 lic. 
 
 An examination of this paper immediate. 
 
l66 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 ]y appeared, by an anonymous writer, whtf 
 remarked acutely enough, that the consent 
 of the parties could not render a compact 
 legal, which was illegal in its nature; he pro- 
 ceeded to shew syllogistically, that the lady 
 had been blinded respecting certain circum- 
 stances, by the rank and fortune of Sorlisi, 
 and that this match was certainly broMght 
 about by the Devil himself. — To strengthen 
 his argument, he adds the curious story 
 quoted by Dr. Warton, in his Essay on 
 Pope, respecting the complaints of a matron 
 against the barbarities of a certain Italian 
 duke ; adding, by way of inference, « huic 
 sane uxori — plus credendum, quam nostrae 
 Mariae inexperta: et nescienti quid distent 
 acra lupinis." He adds, that it would be 
 harsh and uncivil to prefer the fancies of a 
 raw girl, to the unanimous sentiments of as 
 host of bearded civilians. 
 
 Another examiner came forth, who might 
 be suspected, from his manner, to have be- 
 longed to the faculty of Strasburg. He 
 declared, that Madame de Sorlisi lived '* in 
 
OF STERNE. l6t 
 
 Statu peccaminoso, scandaloso et damna'. 
 bili;" and gave the most odious turn to the 
 pure attachment she had manifested. Will 
 it be believedj that this furious theologist 
 wished that the lovers, instead of being mar- 
 ried, had been cudgelled out of dieir mutual 
 affection ? He supported this extraVagance 
 by the example of Luther, who seems to 
 have been fond of using the argumentum 
 baculinum with his friends. It is well known 
 that he once compelled a disputant to come 
 into his opinion, by the dextrous applica- 
 tion of a good cudgel; and the examiner 
 says, he took the same method with his 
 maid-servant, who had been silly enough to 
 fall in love, and whom he thrashed into a 
 severer way of thinking. 
 
 It would have been easy to have replied, 
 that Luther shewed a little more complais- 
 ance for the tender passion, when he sanc- 
 tioned the bigamy of the Elector, his patron; 
 but the retort would have been ill received 
 at the court of Dresden. This terrible doc- 
 tor, however, literally called out for clubs; 
 
 M 
 
i62 il;lustration« 
 
 « ad baculum, ad baculum quo pruritum 
 exstinguite !" 
 
 A milder adversary, moved by the large- 
 ness of the fine which Sorhsi had engaged 
 to pay, doubted whether the parties, upon 
 acknowledging the enormity of their ofTencej 
 might not be suffered to live together as 
 brother and sister, a concession which the 
 unfortunate pair seem to have been at length 
 willing to make. But upon setting aside 
 the consideration of the money, and regard- 
 ing the scandal and danger likely to accrue 
 to the protestant church, from such an in- 
 dulgence, he reluctantly decided in the ne- 
 gative. 
 
 After wearying the reader with this tedi- 
 ous detail, he will be glad, for more reasons 
 than one, to learn, that in May, 1668, the 
 Consistory of Leipsic declared that the 
 marriage ought to be tolerated, and the 
 parties to be freed from any father vexation 
 or prosecution on that account. At the 
 same time, the Elector, to prevent the growth 
 of scandal, ordered that this case should not 
 
6F StEllNE. 163 
 
 be considered as a precedent, and that no 
 future indulgence of the same kind should 
 be permitted. 
 
164 ILLUSTRATION* 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 Mr. Shandy s hypothesis of Christian names 
 — Miscellaneous illustrations — Conclusion. 
 
 1 think it is D'Aubigne who mentions 
 a fact, wrought up by Steme into a chap- 
 ter, that the States of Switzerland proposed 
 the name of Abednego to be given to one 
 of the children of Henry 11. of France. 
 Sterne transferred the story, with his usua} 
 carelessness, to Francis i. Burton certainly 
 should have added to the happiness of be- 
 ing well-bom, that of being well-named ; and 
 this superstition has been so common among 
 the learned, that I wonder how it escaped 
 him. 
 
 In the general theory respecting Christian 
 names, I am persuaded that Sterne had in 
 
OF STER.NE. 165 
 
 view Montaigne's Essay des Nmns. « Chaque 
 nation," says Montaigne, " a quelques noms 
 qui se prennent, je ne s^ai comment, en 
 mauvaise part ; et a nous, Jean, Guillaume, 
 fienoist." Mr. Shandy has passed a similar 
 condemnation on some English names, to 
 which vulgar prejudices are attached. I am 
 surprised that Sterne should have withheld a 
 story \^hich Montaigne has told, in support 
 of this fancy. He mentions a young man, 
 who was reclaimed from a very dissolute 
 course of life, by discovering that the name of 
 a prostitute whom he went to visit, was Mary. 
 His reformation was so exemplary, that a 
 chapel was built on the spot where his house 
 had stood, and on the same ground was 
 afterwards erected the church of our lady of 
 Poictiers. « Cette correction," says he, 
 ** voyelle et auriculaire, devotieuse, tira 
 droit a Tame:" it was indeed a palpable 
 hit. 
 
 «* A gentleman, my neighbour," proceeds 
 ihe venerable Gascon, " preferring the man- 
 ners of old times to ours, did not forget to 
 
l66 ILLUSTRATIp.NS 
 
 boast of the proud and magnificent names 
 of the ancient nobility, such as Don Gru- 
 medan, Don Quedragan, Don Agesilan, oe 
 to say that on hearing them pronounced, he 
 felt that they must be a different kind of 
 people from Peter, Giles, and Jacob. 
 
 Another passage contains, I suspect, a 
 stroke of satire against the Huguenots, 
 where he compliments them on their subdu- 
 ing the old names of Charles, Louis, and 
 Francis, and peopling the world with Me- 
 thusalems, Ezekiels, and Malachis. 
 
 It is curious enough, that St. Pierre, a 
 late writer, should adopt,* and treat largely 
 of this hypothesis, without referring either 
 to Montaigne or to Sterne. 
 
 Pasquier wrote a whole chapter, in his 
 Recherches sur la France^ on the fortune at- 
 tendant on particular names, allotted to the 
 French monarchs; but MorhofF, who treats 
 gravely of the fatality of Christian names, 
 goes much farther, and asserts, that the evil 
 
 * In the Etudes de la Nature, torn, iii. 
 
OF STERNE. l6j 
 
 influence of the original name may be cor- 
 rected by assuming another. « Notarunt 
 nonnulli infaustorum nominum impostione 
 fortunam hominum labefactari, eorum immu- 
 tatione quoque immvlari.* This would have 
 been a good quotation for Mr. Shandy, at 
 die Visiution. 
 
 On one occasion, Sterne has pressed a 
 name into this service to which he had no 
 right. ** But who the duce has got laid 
 down here beside her? qouth my father, 
 pointing with his cane to a large tomb — as 
 he walked on — It is St. Optat, sir, an- 
 swered the sacristan — And properly is St. 
 Optat placed! said my father; and what is 
 St. Oput's story? continued he. St. Op- 
 tat, replied the sacristan, was a bishop. I 
 thought so, by heaven! cried my father, 
 interrupting him — St. Optat! how should 
 St. Optat fail ?"t Unluckily for all diis good 
 raillery, the saint's name was Optatus^ which 
 
 * Morhoff. Polyhistor. torn. i. p. it6, § 6. 
 i Tristram Shandy, vol. viii. chap. 27, 
 
l68 ILLUSTKATIONS 
 
 is quite a different affair, unless the worlds 
 should be disposed to admit the sincerity o£ 
 the, no/o episcopari. If Sterne had looked 
 into Pasquier, he might have found other 
 promising names, such as St. Opportune, 
 St, Pretextat, and several others ; Machia- 
 vel too informs us, that the first pope who 
 altered his name was Ospurcus ; he changed 
 it to Sergius, from his dislike of the former; 
 but indeed all these curiosities are, as Dio- 
 genes said on another subject, f^fyatX* 
 fiauV^T* i^"po~:, great marvels for fools. 
 
 In the present state of knowledge, it would 
 be unpardonable to omit a remark, with 
 which an author like Sterne would make 
 himself very merry. It relates to the pas- 
 sage, in which Mr. Shandy treats the name 
 of Tristram with such indignity, and de- 
 mands of his supposed adversary, « Whe- 
 ther he had ever remembered, — whether he 
 had ever read, — or whether he had ever heard 
 tell of a man, called Tristram, performing 
 any thing great or worth recording? — No, 
 — he would say, — Tr i str am ! — The thing 
 
OF STERNE. 169 
 
 15 impossible!" A student of the fashion- 
 able black-letter erudition would have tri- 
 umphed, in proclaiming the redoubted Sir 
 Tristram, Knight of the Round-table, and 
 one of the most famous knights-errant up- 
 on record. Steme might have replied: 
 
 Non scribit, cujus Cannina nemo legit ;* 
 
 and indeed his pleasant hero has no resem- 
 blance to the preux chevalier. 
 
 I have a few observations to add, which 
 are quite unconnected with each other. 
 Sterne truly resembled Shakespeaie's Biron, 
 in the extent of his depredations from other 
 writers, for the supply of Tristram : 
 
 His eye begot occasion for his wit : 
 For ev'ry object that the one did catch, 
 The other turn'd to a mirth-moving jest. 
 
 Burton furnished the grand magazine, but 
 many other books, which fell incidentally 
 into his hands, were laid under contribution. 
 
 * Martial, lib. ii. 
 
170 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 I am sorry to deprive Sterne of the fol- 
 lowing pretty figure, but justice must be 
 done to every one. 
 
 « In short, my father advanced so 
 
 very slowly with his work, and I began to 
 live and get forward at such a rate, that if 
 an event had not happened — &c. I verily 
 believe I had put by my father, and left him 
 drawing a sun-dial, for no better purpose 
 than to be buried under ground."* 
 
 Donne concludes his poem entitled The 
 Will, with this very thought : 
 
 And all your graces no more use shall have 
 Than a sun-dial in a grave. 
 
 I have said that Sterne took the hint of 
 his marbled pages either from Swift, or the 
 author of Gabriel John, quisquis Juit ilk. 
 There is no great merit in his mourning 
 pages for Yorick, which are little superior, 
 in point of invention, to the black borders of 
 
 * Tris. Shandy, vol. v. chap. 16. 
 
OP STERNE. 171 
 
 a hawker's elegy, yet even here an original 
 genius has anticipated him. 
 
 Every one knows the black pages in Tris- 
 tram Shandy j that of prior date is to be 
 found in Dr. Fludd's Utriusjue cosmi HiUo- 
 ria^ and is emblematic of the chaos. Fiudd 
 was a man of extensive erudition, and con- 
 siderable observation, but his fancy, natural- 
 ly vigorous, was fermented and depraved, 
 by astrological and cabbalistic reseaches. 
 It will afford a proof of his strange fancies, 
 and at the same time do away all suspicion 
 of Sterne in this instance, to quote the lu- 
 dicrous coincidence mentioned by Morhoff, 
 between himself and this author. « Cogi- 
 tandi modum in nobis et speculationes illas 
 rationum, mirifice quodam in loco, videlicet 
 in libro demystica cerebri anatome [FluddiusJ 
 ob oculos ponit. Solent ab anatomicis illic 
 delineari genitalia membra, utriusque sexus, 
 quod processus quidam et sinus, eum in mo- 
 dum hgurati sunt. Hie Fluddius, invenit, 
 
 • Page 16. 
 
lyZ ILLUSTRATIOIfS 
 
 non quod pueri in faba, illic dicit generari 
 cogitationes; quod mihi mirum visum est, 
 cum ego aliquando joculare carmen de ente 
 raticnis scriberem, et, ferente ita genio car- 
 minis, joci gratia finxissem, illic generari entia 
 rationis, postea cum incidi in istud Fluddii, 
 quod ne somniando quidem cogitaveram, 
 invenisse me, serio haec asseri a Fluddio."* 
 
 I am not acquainted \with the foundation 
 of the curious passages respecting the possi- 
 bility of baptizing infants imiiero^f but I find 
 that Mauriccau adverts to the circumstance, 
 in his attack on the Caesarian operation: 
 " il n' y a pas d' occasions ou on ne puisse 
 bien donner le Bapteme a 1' enfant, durant 
 qu' il est encore au ventre de la mere, estant 
 facile de porter de 1' eau nette par le moyen 
 du canon d' une seringue jusques sur quel- 
 que partie de son corps" — He then obviates 
 a difficulty unthought of by Sterne's doctors ; 
 which persuades me that this passage of 
 
 * Morhoff. Polyhist. Philos.lib. ii.p. tjCap. 15, 
 + Tribtram Shandy, vol. i, chap. xx. 
 
OP STERNE. 174 
 
 Mauriceau had not occurred to him — « ct 
 U seroit inutile d'alleguer que 1' eau n' y peut 
 pa5 etre conduite, a[ cause que 1' enfant est 
 envelop^ de ses membranes, qui en em- 
 pechent; car ne s^ait-on pas qu' on les peut 
 rompre tres aisement, en cas qu' elles ne le 
 fussent pas, apres quoi on peut toucher effec- 
 tivement son corps."* 
 
 This writer has also mentioned the mis- 
 chievous effect of strong pressure, applied to 
 the heads of very young children ; which is 
 connected with another theory that Sterne 
 has diverted himself with. I have not met 
 with the original of it in my reading, but will 
 give a passage from Bulwer's Anthropome- 
 tamorphosis, analogous to Mauriceau's.t 
 
 * Mauric. Maladies desFemmes Grosses, p. 347 
 (edit. 3me. 410. 1681.) 
 
 t I knew a gentleman who had divers sons, and 
 the midwives and nurses with headbands and 
 •trokings had so altered the natural mould of their 
 heads, that they proved children of a very weak 
 understanding. His last son only, upon advice 
 (iven him, had no restraint imposed upon the na- 
 
174 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 There is one passage in the seventh vo- 
 lume, which the circumstances of Sterne's 
 death render pathetic. A believer in the 
 doctrine of pre-sentiment would think it a 
 prop to his theoiy. It is as striking as 
 Swift's digression on madness, in the Tale of 
 a Tub. 
 
 " Was I in a condition to stipulate with 
 
 Death 1 should certainly declare against 
 
 submitting to it before my friends ; and there- 
 fore I never seriously think upon the mode 
 and manner of this great catastrophe, which 
 generally takes up and torments my thoughts 
 as much as the catastrophe itself, but I con- 
 stantly draw the curtain across it with this 
 v/ish, that the Disposer of all things may so 
 order it, that it happen not to me in my own 
 house — but rather in some decent inn 
 
 tural growth of his head, but was left free from 
 the coercive power of headbands and other artifi- 
 cial violence, whose head, although it were big- 
 ger, yet he had more wit and understanding than 
 them all. 
 
 Artificial ChangtUng. p. 42. 
 
OF STERNE. IJ^ 
 
 At home, — I know it, — the concern of my 
 friends, and the last services of wiping my 
 brows and smoothing my pillow, will so 
 crucify my soul, that I shall die of a distem- 
 per which my physician is not aware of: but 
 in an inn, the few cold offices I wanted, 
 would be purchased with a few guineas, and 
 paid me with an undisturbed but punctual at- 
 tention." It is known that Sterne died in 
 hired lodgings, and I have been told, that 
 his attendants robbed him even of his gold 
 sleeve-buttons, while he was expiring. 
 
 Yet a paragraph in Burnet's History of 
 his own Times has been pointed out, in a 
 periodical work,* from which both the sen- 
 timents and expressions of Sterne, in this 
 passage, were certainly taken. This appears 
 to me one of the most curious detections of 
 his imitations ; but I shall not be surprised 
 if many others, equally unexpected, should 
 be noticed hereafter. The extract from 
 Burnet follows -. 
 
 * Gentleman's Magazine, for June, 1798, 
 der the signature of R. F. 
 
 un- 
 
176 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 " He [Archbishop Leighton] used (rften 
 to say, that if he were to choose a place to 
 die in, it should be an inn ; it looking Hke 
 a pilgrim's going home, to whom this world 
 was all as an inn, and who was weary of the 
 noise and confusion in it. He added, that 
 the officious tenderness and care of friends 
 was an entanglement to a dying man; and 
 that the unconcerned attendance of those that 
 could be procured in such a place would 
 give less disturbance."* 
 
 Sterne has amused himself with a pane- 
 gyric on the literary benefits of shaving: 
 '* I maintain it, the conceits of a rough- 
 bearded man are seven years more terse and 
 juvenile for one single operation; and if they 
 did not run a risk of being shaved quite 
 away, might be carried up, by continual 
 shavings, to the very highest pitch of su- 
 blimity."t It is an honour to think like 
 great men; upon this occasion, I must in- 
 
 • Vol. ii. p. 259, 8vo. 
 
 ■i Triitram Shandy, vol. ix. cbap. 13. 
 
Ot STERNE. 177 
 
 troduce Sterne to no less a personage than 
 the Macedonian hero. Before one of Al- 
 exander's battles, Parmenio presented him- 
 self, to give an account of his arrangements, 
 ind to enquire whether any thing remained 
 to be done : nothing, said Alexander, but 
 that the men should shave. Shave! cried 
 Parmenio : yes, replied the prince ; do you 
 not consider what a handle a long beard af- 
 fords to the enemy?* 
 
 Peter i. of Russia gave the clearest proof 
 that he reckoned the custom of shaving es- 
 sential to the progress of civilization : it is 
 pity that Sterne did not quote this convinc- 
 ing historical exaviple. Horace, too, seems 
 to have thought that his philosopher would 
 have reasoned better without his beard: 
 
 Di te, Damasippe, Dcacque 
 
 Verum ob consilium donent tonsore. 
 
 The plan of the Sendmental Journey 
 
 * Barbat. de Barbigenio, in Domavius's Am. 
 phitheatrum Sapientia;. 
 
 N 
 
178 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 seems to have been taken from the little 
 French pieces, which have had such cele- 
 brity; the Voyage of Chapelle and Bachau- 
 mont, and the Voyage of Fontaine j the me- 
 rit of which consists in making trifles consi- 
 derable. The only material difference be- 
 tween Sterne's pleasant fragment and these, 
 consists in the want of verse. The French 
 sentimental tours are enlivened by rhymes 
 of great variety, and Sterne would perhaps 
 have imitated them in this respect, if he 
 could have written poetry. 
 
 There is one French writer, whom Sterne 
 seems to have imitated; it is Marivaux, whose 
 style, according to D'Alembert, is much more 
 popular in England than in his own coun- 
 tr)'. From him and Crebillon, I think, Sterne 
 learnt to practise what Quintilian had made 
 a precept: Minus est totum dicere quam 
 OMNIA. With genius enough for the at- 
 tempt, one has frequently failed in produc- 
 ing pleasure by the length of his digressions, 
 and the other by affecting an excessive re- 
 finement and ambiguity in his language. 
 
or STERNE. 179 
 
 Les hons ecrivains du Steele de Louis XIV. 
 says Voltaire, ont eu de la/orce, aujour d'hui 
 on cherche de contorsions. Our own writers 
 are not free from this error ; and it would 
 not be unworthy their consideration, that a 
 sentence, which is so much refined as to ad- 
 mit of several different senses, may perhaps 
 have no direct claim to any sense.* Sterne 
 has seldom indulged these lapses, for which 
 he was probably indebted to the buoyant 
 force of Burton's firm Old-English sinews. 
 
 Whoever will take the trouble of compar- 
 ing Sterne's Dialogue with his own feelings, 
 in the Sentimental Journey ,t to that of Ja- 
 
 • Maynard puts this very well : 
 
 Mon ami, chasse bien loin 
 Cette noire rhetorlque, 
 Tes ouvragcs ont besoin 
 D' un devin qui les expliquc. 
 Si ton esprit veut cacher 
 Les belles choses qu'il pense, 
 Di-moi, qui peut t' empScher 
 De te servir du silence ? 
 
 f Compare also the first Conversation with 
 
l8o ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 cob with his Avarice and his Honour, in th€ 
 first part of the Paysan Parvenu, will per- 
 ceive a near resemblance. It would be 
 cruel to insert the French declamation. A 
 shorter passage from the same work will 
 shew that the Shandean manner is very si- 
 milar to that of Marivaux. 
 
 Le Directeur avoit laisse parler I'ainee 
 sans r interrompre, & sembloit meme un 
 peu pique de 1' obstination de 1' autre. 
 
 Prenant pourtant un air tranquille et be- 
 nin : ma chere Demoiselle, ecoutez moi, 
 dit il a cette cadette; vous savez avec quelle 
 affection particuliere je vous donne mes con- 
 seils a toutes deux. 
 
 Ces derniers paroles, a toutes deux, furent 
 partagees, de fa^on que la Cadette en avoit 
 pour le moins les trois quarts & demi pour 
 
 Me. Freval, in the Paysan Parvenu, with a scene 
 in the Sentimental Journey, Bayle, too, fur- 
 nished Sierne with some hints, which Mr. Jack- 
 son of Exeter has noticed, in his Four Agest 
 The preceding part of this book was printed, be* 
 foie I saw Mr. Jackson's work. 
 
OF STERNE. l8l 
 
 cMe, et ce ne fut meme que par reflection 
 subite, qu 'il en donna le reste a l' ainee.* 
 
 I have thus put the reader in possession 
 of every observation respecting this agree- 
 able author,t which it would be important 
 or proper to communicate. If his opinion 
 of Sterne's learning and originality be les- 
 sened by the perusal, he must, at least, ad* 
 mire the dexterity and the good taste with 
 which he has incorporated in his work so 
 many passages, written with very different 
 views by their respective authors. It was 
 evidently Sterne's purpose to make a plea- 
 sant, saleable book, coiite que coute; and af- 
 ter taking his general plan from some of tlie 
 plder French writers, and from Burton, he 
 
 • Paysan Parvenu, partieame. 
 
 + I have seen some anecdotes of Sterne, in the 
 
 European Magazine, in which Madame de L 
 
 mentioned in the Sentimental Journey, was said 
 to be Madame de Lamberti, and the Count dc 
 B , the Count dc Brctucil ; upon what autho< 
 rity \ do not know. 
 
l82 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 made prize of all the good thoughts that 
 came in his way. 
 
 Voltaire has compared the merits of Ra- 
 belais and Sterne, as satirists of the abuse of 
 learning, and, I think, has done neither of 
 them justice. This great distinction is ob- 
 vious; that Rabelais derided absurdities then 
 existing in full force, and intermingled much 
 sterling sense with the grossest parts of his 
 book; Sterne, on the contrary, laughs at 
 many exploded opinions, and forsaken 
 fooleries, and contrives to degrade some of 
 his most solemn passages by a vicious levi- 
 ty. Rabelais flew a higher pitch, too, than 
 Sterne. Great, part of the voyage to the 
 Pays dt Lanternois,* which so severely stig- 
 matizes the vices of the Romish clergy of 
 that age, was performed in more hazard of 
 fire than water. 
 
 * I do no recollect to have seen it observed by 
 Rabelais's Commentators, that this name, as well 
 as the plan of the Satire, is imitated from Lucian's 
 True History, Lucian's town is called Lychno- 
 polist 
 
or STERNE. 183 
 
 The follies of the learned may as justly 
 be corrected, as the vices of hypocrites ; but 
 for the former, ridicule is a sufficient pun- 
 ishment. Ridicule is even more effectual 
 to this purpose, as well as more agreeable 
 than scurrility, which is generally preferred, 
 notwithstanding, by the learned themselves 
 in their contests, because anger seizes the 
 readiest weapons; 
 Jamque faces et saxa volant; furor anna ministrat: 
 
 And where a litde extraordinary power 
 has accidentally been lodged in the hands 
 of disputants, they have not scrupled to em- 
 ploy the most cogent methods of convincing 
 their adversaries. Dionysius the younger 
 sent those critics who disliked his verses, to 
 work in the quarries ;* and there was a plea- 
 sant tyrant, mentioned by Horace, who ob- 
 liged his deficient debtors to hear him read 
 his own composidons, amaras historias, by 
 way of conunutadon. I say nothing of the 
 
 • Plutarch, 
 
1^4 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 " holy faith of pike and gun," nor of the 
 strong cudgel with which Luther terminated 
 a theological dispute, as I desire to avoid re- 
 ligious controversy. But it is impossible, 
 on this subject, to forget the once-celebrat- 
 ed Dempster, the last of the formidable sect 
 of Hoplomachists, who fought every day, 
 at his school in Paris, either with sword or 
 fist, in defence of his doctrines in omni 
 scibili.* The imprisonment of Galileo, and 
 the example of Jordano Bruno, burnt alive 
 for asserting the plurality of worlds,t among 
 other disgraceful instances, shew that laugh- 
 ter is the best crisis of an ardent disputa- 
 tion. 
 
 The talents for so delicate an office as 
 that of a literary censor, are too great and 
 numerous to be often assembled in one per- 
 son. Rabelais wanted decency, Sterne 
 
 • Jan. Nic. Erythnc. Pinacothec. 
 
 + Brucker. Hh, Critic. Philosoph. torn, v. p. 28, 
 sg. The famous Scioppius published a shocking 
 letter of exultation on this execution. 
 
OF STERNE. 185 
 
 learning, and Voltaire fidelity. Lucian 
 alone supported the character properly, in 
 those pieces which appear to be justly as- 
 scribed to him. As the narrowness of par- 
 ty yet infests philosophy, a writer with his 
 qualifications would still do good service in 
 the cause of truth. For wit and good sense 
 united, as in him they eminently were, can 
 attack nothing successfully which ought not 
 to be demolished. 
 
I 
 
 ADDITIONAL NOTES 
 
 to the 
 ILLUSTRATIONS OF STERNE. 
 
 Note I. page xo; 
 
 The following extract from the Pieces Interes- 
 santes et peu connues, p. 196, may eerve in place of 
 a whole history. 
 
 " II y a un fait assez curieux, tres-sur et peu 
 connu, au sujet du collier de /' ordre du S, Esprit: 
 la devotion s' allioit autrefois avec le plus grand 
 debordement des moeurs, et la mode n'en est pat 
 absolument passee: 
 
 Le motif public de Henri iii. en instituant 
 /' ordre du Saint-Esprit, fut la defense de la catho- 
 licite, par une association de seigneurs qui ambi- 
 tionneroient d.' y entrer; 
 
 Le vccu secret fut d'en faire hommage a sa sceur 
 Marguerite de Valois, qu'il aimoit plus que fra- 
 temellement. 
 
 Le S. Esprit est le symbole de 1' amour: les or* 
 
ADDITIONAL KOTES. 187 
 
 nemens du collier ctoient les Monogrammes de 
 Marguerite et de Henri, separei alternativement 
 par un autre MoDOgramme symboltque, compose 
 d'un P phi et d' un * delta joints ensemble; *, 
 auquel on faisoit »ignifier_^(i«/ifl ^owf delta en Ita- 
 lien,ct_fidelite en Francois. Henri iv. instruit de 
 ce mystere, changea le collier par deliberation au 
 ckapitTt, du 7 Janvier 1597, & rempla^a par deux 
 trophees d' armes, le 9 et le Monogramme de Mar- 
 guerite. J' en ai vu les preuvesnon suspectcs." 
 
 Duclos, who was the collector of these curious 
 anecdotes, is very high authority. But the truth 
 of this fact appears from other proof. In Secak's 
 Honor MiLitarie & Civil, published in it)02, is a 
 full-length portrait of Henry iv. in the habit of 
 the order, and the mysterious symbols appear most 
 distinctly, not only on the collar, but embroider- 
 ed, of a very large size, round the robe. 
 
 Note II. page 52. 
 
 Eachard's works are now in the hands of few 
 persons. It will be interesting however to his 
 admirers, to mention, that a complete outline of 
 the Grounds and Causes of the Contempt ojthe Clergy 
 may be found in Burton, in the section entitled. 
 Study aCause of Melancholy, from p. 81 to 87. 
 
 Note III. page 70.. 
 The French translator of Tristram Shandy, who 
 
188 
 
 ADDITIONAL NOTES. 
 
 knew nothing of Burton, confesses himself 
 strangely puzzled with the fragment on Whiskers. 
 " Vaincment il a voulu tdaircir cc ckapitre par dei re- 
 iherches historiques ; U scul fruit de its peines a etc 
 dt trouvtr que Miles. Rebours et la Fosseuse iont 
 cities dans plusieurs livrcs, et notammtnl dans Its 
 memoires de Marguerire de Valois, comnie maitrisses 
 de Henri IV. Qjuant au Guiol, Maronette, Battar- 
 tlle, (3c. &c. le hasard les lui a offert dans la nom- 
 breuse liste des temoins enlendus auprocei de Cirard 
 & la Cadiere." 
 
 It would have diverted Sterne extremely, to 
 have seen a Frenchman seeking to illustrate his 
 lucubrations by historical researches. 
 
 Rebours is mentioned by Brantome. The source 
 of the other names pointed out by the translator 
 is sufijciently probable. 
 
 Note JV. page i2, 
 
 I have mentioned, in another work, the pracr 
 tice once gcneial on the continent, of destroying 
 dying persons, by violently pulling away the piU 
 lows from beneath their heads. There is a trea- 
 tise on this subject preserved by Valentin!, writr 
 ten with a degree of pomp and affectation, which 
 equally defies a serious perusal, and the power of 
 burlesque. The author first disputes concerning 
 the definition of a pillow ; and after a great deal 
 of erudition, gives the fallowing: Est aliquid sup- 
 
AODITIOKAL NOTES. 189 
 
 Positum capiti nostra subUvandi gratia adinventum. 
 In the next section comes the etymology, lest the 
 reader should still be uncertain concerning the 
 meaning of the word pillow. Here pulvinar is very 
 naturally deduced from polala, a foot-ball, and it 
 follows, like a chain, that polula comes from tuU 
 bus, a root. We may apply the French epigram 
 to this sort of derivation : 
 
 Alfana vient d' Equus, sans doute ; 
 Mais il faut avouer aussi, 
 Qu' en venant de la jusqu' ici 
 II i bien change sur la route. 
 
 As if all this precision were not sufficient, an- 
 other definition follows, of the component matter 
 of a pillow. 
 
 Hoc est pulvinar, sen lectus capitis irevior, hoc est 
 omne id quod ad ejus elevationem et erectionem adhi- 
 betur, sive ex plumis vel stramentis constet, aut alia 
 commoda pro persons ac loci conditions materia. 
 The author concludes with this severe commina- 
 tion against these pillow-jerkers : quod dum itd 
 contra conscientiam reclam, Deique ac legum volunta- 
 tem, agant, se privent animi tranquillitate, simulqut 
 peccatis exponant gravissimis, unde Deum scelcrum 
 korum vindicem severum kabeant metuendum. Id 
 ergo nejiat, cavenda hctc solicite omnibus est cervi- 
 cularum subdmctio, ut per se illicita et injusla, &c. 
 
190 ADDITIONAL NOTZf. 
 
 Note V. 
 
 BruscambiUe's Prologue on Noses. 
 
 Or Messieurs, puisque nous sommes sur U ma- 
 tiere des nez, ne laissons pas un beau champs sans 
 le cultiver : le proverbe si commun en France de 
 dire voila qui n'a pas de nez nous y servira htiv- 
 coup; c'est une maniere de parler commune a 
 tout le monde, & dont on se sert frequemment; 
 je vous prends vous memes a temoins, Messieurs, 
 n'est-il pas vrai que quand on veut meprlser 
 quelque chose on se sert ordinairement de ce pro- 
 verbe ; si par example un homme comme moi qui 
 ne suis pas des plus habiles en tout genre, hazarde 
 parmi le public quelque ceuvre ou discours im- 
 parfait comme celui que j'ai presentement en 
 bouche, ne dira-t-on pas en le meprisant, voila qui 
 n' a point de nez. 
 
 On en pourra dire autant d'un peintre, d'un 
 orfevre, de I'auteur d' un pitoyable livre, & ge« 
 neralement de toute sorte de choses qui ne seroit 
 pas dans le gout des Messieurs qui se qualifient du 
 nez fin ; de maniere qu' a leur sentiment tout ce 
 qui n'a point de nez est meprisable & ne merite 
 pas de voir le jour. £t c' est la raison pourquoi 
 Ton cache ordinairement le cul comme etant un 
 visage qui n'a point de nez ; & au contraire la face 
 est toujours decouverte a cause qu' il y a dans le 
 milieu un nez; un homme sans nez est rejette dea 
 
ADDITIONAL NOTES. 1^1 
 
 femmes. Le phitionomiste Albert le grand, aussi- 
 bien que le Sfavant Trismegiste, disent que les 
 femmes estiment les grands nez nobles & de bonne 
 race, les mediocres de contentement & les petits 
 de bon appetit. Souvent les grands arbres plantez 
 en bonne terre fructifient noblement. 
 
 S9avez-vous, Messieurs, pourquoi le sexe femi- 
 nin n' est pas si bicn pourvu de nez que le mascu- 
 lin ? L'on tient & I'on assure que c'est a cause 
 du peu d' etat que la curieuse Pandore fit de 1' Or- 
 donnance de Jupiter, lequel lui ayant batlle la 
 boele ou etoient renfermcz tous les malheurs & 
 infortunes, avec defense exprssse de I'ouvrir, 
 cette miserable curieuse fut si fort tentce, que 
 Jupiter n'eut pas plutot le cul tourne, qu'elle 
 e&t le nez dedans : je vois que vous riez de cette 
 expression. Messieurs, ne vous imaginez pas que 
 je veuUe dire que Pandore eut mis le nez dans le 
 cul de Jupiter, aussitot qu'il s'en fut alle, cette 
 expression equivoque tombe sur la boete fatale 
 dans laquelle sa curiosite la porta a. y mettre son 
 oez, c' est-a-dire, a y regarder contre la defense 
 de Jupiter. De quo! cette divinite etant indig. 
 nee, permit que les malheurs, disgraces & infor- 
 tunes renfermez dans cette boete, se rcpandissent 
 impitoyablement sur la terre : et voila un echan- 
 tillon de 1' obligation que nous avonsaux femmes 
 qui veulent fourrer leur nez par tout, 
 
 Je a'entreprend point de faire ici une ample 
 
192 ADDITIONAL NOTES. 
 
 description des differens nez avec les proprietet 
 singulieres qui leursontannexecs,j'cn dirois peut 
 etre trop des grands nez au prejudice des nez me- 
 diocres, des petits nez, des nez cornus, des nez 
 plats & autres de toute sorte d'cspece, je me con'* 
 tcnte de dire que les grands nez ont beaucoup 
 d' avantage sur les petits pour les odeurs dont ils 
 sont r organe nature!, d'autant que par leur ci- 
 pacite plus etendue ils peuvent recevoir plus de 
 vapeurs odoriferentes & que celles qui montent 
 de bas en haut leur peuvent moins echapper 
 qu'aux petits nez : en un mot, Messieurs, si c'est 
 quelque chose dc beau, de bon, de louable, d'avano 
 tagcux en tout genre d' avoir du nez, il le doit 
 ctre encore plus d' avoir du grand nez: un homme 
 qui a du nez sent toutes choses, celui qui n' a point 
 de nez ne se sent pas soi-meme; le nez discerne 
 les senteurs comme 1' ceil les couleurs, I'aveugle 
 peut juger des senteurs, & les vents du Pais-Bas 
 qui souflent a la sourdine dans ses chausses sont 
 decouvcries par 1' experience de son nez. Je 
 finis. Messieurs, en vous disant que si j' avois un 
 pied de nez davantage, je ferois un discours qui 
 auroit plus de nez; &je crains que quelque me-> 
 disant ne vienne ici critiquer sur ce mien verbiage 
 & ne publie a mon deshonneur & au votre, que 
 vous ctcs des idiots de vous laisscr ainsi mencv 
 par le nez. 
 
OP CERTAIN 
 
 VARIETIES OF MAN, 
 
 described by Authors. 
 
-who reads 
 
 Incessantly, and to his reading brings not 
 A spirit and judgment equal or superior, 
 (And what he brings, what need he elsewhere 
 
 seek ?) 
 Uncertain and unsettled still remains, 
 Deep vers'd in books and shallow in himself. 
 
 MiLTOX. 
 
^95 
 
 OF CERTAIN VARIETIES OF 
 
 MAN. 
 
 In the various fortunes of opinions, it 
 may be observed, that when a tenet hap- 
 pens to be refuted, after having gained 
 for a time implicit belief, every one begins 
 to wonder that it should have acquired 
 any credit. This is the progress of what 
 has been called philosophical ttuth, than 
 which nothing is more absolute during its 
 reign, and nothing but life more transitory 
 in its duration. There is this great differ- 
 ence between the extinction of opinions 
 and that of men, that the former lose their 
 characters with their existence, while the lat- 
 ter generally encrease their estimation by 
 
196 OF CERtAlM 
 
 dying; for excepting an epitaph on the 
 Pineal Gland, which was written after phy-» 
 siologists had degraded it from the seat of 
 the soul, I recollect no example of gratitude 
 to a decayed theory. 
 
 Every age cherishes its favourite errors, 
 which serve to divert the succeeding gener- 
 ation. We ridicule our predecessors for 
 their belief in the fiery sphere of Aristotle, 
 or the vortices of Descartes, without reflect- 
 ing, that some of our present opinions niay 
 afford equal subject of derision to posterity. 
 Why does the history of opinions contain 
 such a list of errors and falsehoods, but be- 
 cause men have so long mistaken their con- 
 jectures concerning facts, for facts them- 
 selves ? 
 
 Much of this evil has certainly proceeded 
 from undue deference to authorities. Au- 
 thors have believed assertions without en- 
 quiry; and might well be expected to assign 
 ridiculous causes, when they engaged to ac- 
 count for events that never existed. 
 
 I have been led into this train of reflec- 
 
VARIETIES OF MAK. igj 
 
 don, by trying to discover tlie true founda- 
 tions, on which the existence of some mon- 
 strous varieties of our species has been sup- 
 posed. Every philosophical reader is ac- 
 quainted with the theory of Lord Mon- 
 boddo on tliis subject, on which Mr. Tooke 
 has bestowed such masterly satire, that we 
 may justly apply to .the author of the Exe* 
 TlTspoevTCi, what Milton has said of Tasso, 
 in his Mansus, though in a different sense ; 
 -^^zternis inscripsit nomina chariis, 
 
 'I expected to have found the clue to tliis 
 romance of philosophy, in Linnzus's 6^s- 
 tema Natura^ because he has mentioned, 
 under the genus, Homo, the varieties of the 
 Hovio Troglodytes, or pygmy, and the Homo 
 Caudatus, the man with a tail (Lord Mon- 
 boddo's patriarch]; but the greater number 
 of authorities has occurred to me in casual 
 heading. ' 
 
 Homer is the first author who mentions 
 the pygmies, and is cited as the chief of the 
 ppinion^ by all writers on this subject. The 
 
198 OF CERTAIN 
 
 Trojans, says he, moved on to Rattle with 
 shouts and acclamations, like the noise of 
 the cranes, when they fly screanjing over 
 the ocean, bearing slaughter and death to 
 the pygmies : 
 
 Hvri trif KXfltY7» ^ytpavuv -viXii Hfavodi vp9t 
 
 Air' iTii tfy y^itfAuytt Ot>70y msi tL^tffparot n/jJ^oWf 
 
 KXat77Y) Tsi^i virovraii iv* fliciavoio poseur, 
 
 Atistotle delivers their history as an in- 
 dubitable truth. " It is not fabulous, but 
 certain, that a diminutive race of men, and 
 il is said of horses, exists; living in caverns, 
 whence ihcy take the name of Troglodytes. 
 They figln with crancs."t 
 
 But it was not enough with the older na- 
 turalists, to shorten a whole nation to three 
 spans, or to oblige men 
 
 -per Arenas 
 
 Cauilarum longos sinuatim ducere tractut; 
 
 but the species was tortured into more fan- 
 
 * Iliad, r. 
 
 \ Histor. Animal, lib. viii. cap. xiia 
 
VARIETIES OF MAN. igg 
 
 t^tic shapes than are to be found in the 
 Temptation of St. Antliony. These trans- 
 figurations rest both on Pagan and Christian 
 authority, and if any thing could be sup- 
 ported by the mere force of repeated as- 
 sertion, the monstrous varieties of man 
 would become undeniable. 
 
 Pliny exerted surprising industry in ac- 
 cumulating authorities for human mon- 
 sters;* many of these were supposed to exist 
 among the northern nations, such as the 
 Arimaspi, who had only one eye, and cm- 
 ployed themselves in stealing gold from the 
 Gryphons, those compound animals which 
 the ancient naturalists have dressed up for 
 us. Milton employs this fable in a Rnc 
 simile, describing Satan's laborious flight 
 through the chaos. 
 
 As when a Gryphon thro' the wilderness 
 With winged course, o'er hill or moory dale, 
 Pursues the Arimaspian, who by stealth 
 Had from his wakeful custody purloin'd 
 The guarded gold. Par. Lost, b.ii, 943. 
 
 * Lib. viii, c. ii. 
 
20Q or CERTAIN 
 
 One of the authorities quoted for this 
 ttoiy is Herodotus, who expressly say* 
 that he does not believe it.* 
 
 Another race of the Scythians were bom 
 ■with feet turned behind the leg, " aversis post 
 crura plantis," and were (of course) wonder- 
 fully swift. Others had heads resembling 
 those of dogs, with long ears, and were arm- 
 ed with talons; Ctesias says, they were in 
 number one hundred and twenty thousand. 
 This is " profound and solid lying." Iri 
 other nations, the people were monocolous, 
 that is, having only one leg,t or sciapodous, 
 having feet so large as to shelter the whole 
 body, in a supine posture; these were the 
 first parasols ; In majori aestu humi jacentes 
 resupini, umbra se pedum protegunt. Near 
 these, according to Pliny, lived the pygmies, 
 but they must be confessed to look extrem- 
 ly small beside such astonishing neighbours. 
 
 • Clio. 
 
 + See modem authorities for this story, in the 
 Orig. and Prog, of Lang, vol. i, b. ii. c. iii. 
 
VARIETIES OF MAN. 201 
 
 Yet they had still better company ; for west- 
 ward of the pygmies lived a nation without 
 necks, and with eyes in their shoulders; and 
 near them, the Astomores, who have no 
 mouths, and are nourished by the smell of. 
 fruits and flowers. 
 
 . This is the substance of a chapter which 
 has omainented the pages of many a natur- 
 alist and cosmographer, with figures so in- 
 geniously horrible, as almost to beget a be- 
 lief of their reality, by the apparent diffi- 
 culty of feigning them. 
 
 It must be owned, in vindication of Pli- 
 ny, that he asserts none of these wonders 
 without authority, and that many of them are 
 mentioned simply as facts advanced by for- 
 mer writers. Several of his relations are taken 
 from those of the Greeks, said to have been 
 employed by Alexander in embassies to the 
 eastern princes. Pliny's attention has pre- 
 served the folly of these men, which could 
 have well been spared, to our days. 
 
 Fomponius Mela* says, the pygmies in- 
 
 * Lib. iii, c. 34. 
 
202 OF CERTAIN 
 
 habited part of Egypt, and fought with the 
 cranes ro preserve their com. Solinus also 
 asserts their existence.* 
 
 Strabo remarks, on this subject, that, moa 
 of the writers on India, before his age, were 
 egregious hars. 
 
 Aulus Gellius, however, asserts the ex- 
 istence of pygmies,t and Eustathius, in the 
 notes on Dionysius. 
 
 ^lian is quoted as supporting the same 
 opinion, and even as describing the Pyg- 
 maean form of government. Whoever 
 takes the trouble of reading Elian's ac- 
 count,;J; will perceive that he relates the whole 
 as an idle story; but this is the method of 
 making quotations, to which literary adepts 
 generally think themselves entitled. 
 
 From these pure fountains a croud of 
 later authors have drawn the belief of pyg- 
 mies ; St. Augustine comes first, by right,]] 
 
 • Cap. XV. 
 
 + Lib. iv. c. ix. 
 
 + Hist. Anim. lib. xv. c. xix. 
 
 I) De Civiut. Dei. lib. xvi. c. viii. 
 
VARITIES OF MAN. 263 
 
 as an assertor of the pygmies, then follow, 
 Majolus, Antonius Pigafetta, Jovius (de 
 rebus Moscovitarum) Odericus (de rebus 
 Indicis) Caspar Schottus, in his Collection 
 of wonders, Joannes Eusebius Nierember- 
 gensis, Caspar Bartholine, in an express dis- 
 sertation, Weinrichius, Licetus, and Cas- 
 sanio. I do not pretend to have consulted 
 all these respectable authors (who are no- 
 thing less than Clarissimi) on this subject, 
 but I Rnd dicm quoted by many others, 
 with whom it would be easy to swell the 
 list. 
 
 Writers differ greatly in their accounts of 
 the seat of the Pygmies, being chiefly so- 
 licitous to remove them sufficiently far from 
 themselves, according to a just remark of 
 yEneas Sylvius, semper longius miraculaju- 
 gere. The prophet Ezekiel speaks of Tyre 
 as being garrisoned by Pygmies.* Horstius 
 supposes the sense of this passage to be, that 
 
 * Chap. 2-j, Our translation calls them Gifni- 
 madims. 
 
204 O' CERTAIN 
 
 the centinels, on the lofty towers of that 
 city, appeared, to a spectator on the ground, 
 of a very diminutive size. 
 
 It is less surprising that St. Augustine 
 should credit the reality of Pygmies, be- 
 cause he had been an eye-witness of greater 
 wonders : he asserts, in one of his sermons, 
 [ad fratres in eremo] that he had preached 
 to a nation without heads, and with eyes in 
 their breasts. This may indeed be consi- 
 dered, by those who explain away every 
 thing, as a figurative expression; but we 
 must not pretend to understand St. Augustine 
 better than the learned bishop Majolus, who 
 quotes this passage in his Dits Ccniculares, 
 as a certain proof of the monstrous varieties. 
 Besides, it would be uncharitable to reject 
 a fact of so much consequence, in the de- 
 cision of that curious question, An monstra 
 sal'jtis aternx capacia? which the learned 
 bishop affirms, because of St. Augustine's 
 mission to the Acephali.* 
 
 • In the modern editions of St. Augpstine's 
 works, this passage is retrenched. 
 
Varieties op man. 205 
 
 "The force of party has extended even to 
 these fictions, apparently remote enough 
 from either civil or religious divisions. 
 Thus, the Monachns Marinus, Episcopus 
 Marinas, €3 Vitulty-Monachus., in Ambro- 
 sini's edition of the frightful folio of Aldro- 
 vandus de Monstrisj seem to have been en- 
 gendered in the extremity of hatred against 
 teligious orders. 
 
 It is to be regretted, that among his other 
 treasures, Palazphatus has omitted to place a 
 derivation of the belief in Pygmies: possi- 
 bly because the word did not admit of a 
 pun. 
 
 There is no proof, unless this fable be 
 supposed a proof, that the ancients were ac- 
 quainted with those varieties, which are 
 really inferior to the usual standard of hu- 
 man size; was this opinion an approach to 
 the hypothesis of the Scale of Beings ? Such 
 it seems to have been in the hands of Para- 
 celsus, who supposed the Pygmies to be 
 different in their origin from men, and to 
 consist of the Caro Non Ad arnica. 
 
206 OF CERTAIN 
 
 Scaliger is blamed by Aldrovandus^ in 
 his Treatise de Monstris,* and by Bulwer,; 
 in his Artificial Changeling^ for denying 
 the existence of Pygmies, because they can- 
 not be found in Ethiopia or Arabia, where 
 Pliny and Mela had placed them : this cir- 
 cumstance, both the moderns think of no 
 weight; argumenium nullius valoris. They 
 missed one strong argument, that is, Pom- 
 ponius Mela's assertion, that the Pygmies 
 were extirpated by their wars with the 
 cranes. Of this Addison has availed him- 
 self very successfully, in his War of the Pyg- 
 mies and Cranes; in the introduction to 
 which, he has raised up a new and beautiful 
 landscape of the ruins of the Pygmean em- 
 pire: 
 
 Nunc si quis dura cvadat per saxa viator, 
 Dcsertosque lares, et valles ossibus albas 
 Exiguis videt, et vestigia parva stupescit* 
 Desolata tenet victrix impune volucris 
 Regna,'*et sccuro crepitat Crus improba nidoi 
 
 • Page 40. 
 + Page 499^ 
 
VARIETIES OF MAN. 20/ 
 
 He has even furnished, from this story, a 
 highly poetical origin of the fairies : 
 
 Elysii valles nunc agmine lustrat inani, 
 £t veterum Herotim miscetur grandibus umbris 
 Flebs parva : aut si quid fidei mereatur anilis 
 Fabula, Pastores per noctis opaca pusillas 
 Saepe vidcnt Umbras, Pygtnasos corporc cassos, 
 Dum secura Cruum, et veteres oblita labores, 
 Laetitix penitus vacat, indulgetque choieis, 
 Angustosquc terit calles, viridesque per orbes 
 Turba levis salit,et Umurum cognomine gaudet.* 
 
 Unless we can resolve to adopt Mela's ac- 
 
 • Perhaps we owe this elegant passage to the 
 following lines in Paradise Lost, where the fallen 
 spirits in Pandemonium contract their size to gain 
 room, and 
 
 Throng numberless, like that Pygmean race. 
 
 Beyond the Indian Mount, or faery elves, 
 
 TAr'hose midnight revels by a forest side 
 
 Or fountain, some belated peasant sees. 
 
 Or dreams he sees, while over-head the moon 
 
 Sits arbitress^and nearer to the earth , 
 
 Wheels her pale course, they on their mirth and 
 
 dance 
 Intent, with jocund music charm his ear; 
 At once with joy and fear his heart rebounds, 
 
 Mook i. ver, 780. 
 
^OS OF CERTAIH 
 
 count of the matter, howevej:, I believe 
 Scaligcr's objection must remain in fiitt 
 force, against the existence of Linnaeus's 
 Troglodyte; for Pygmies are not found in 
 the habitations •which he assigns thenj, 
 namely, the confines of Ethiopia, the caves 
 of Java, Amboyna, and Ternate, or in 
 Malacca. The Albinos, on whose peculi- 
 arities he appears to found his definition, 
 were never proved to exist as a nation;* on 
 the contrary, wherever the history of an 
 Albino could be traced, it was found to have 
 been born in ordinary society. It is true 
 Linnaeus attempts to distinguish between his 
 Troglodyte and man, by ascribing to the 
 former the Membrana Nictiians^ but anatO' 
 mists in general know very well, that man 
 possesses that membrane also, though with- 
 out the power of expansion. 
 
 Besides, Linnasus's Troglodytes are plac- 
 ed at a very great distance from the sup- 
 
 • Wafer's single testimony is not suSciect 
 proof. 
 
VARIETIES OF MAK. ZOg 
 
 posed seat of the Albinos, which is said 
 by the best authorities in this case to be 
 near the isthmus of Parien. Whether, then, 
 the Pygmean history'be derived from the 
 frequent appearance of dwarfs in society, or 
 whether, like the Short Club in the Guar- 
 dian, it be the inveiiticn of ambitious little 
 men, we must send back 
 
 -the small in.'antry 
 
 Wanr'd on by cranes- 
 
 to the poetical quarter, for sound geography 
 and natural histury disclaim them. 
 
 Linnaeus admits, with rather more hesita- 
 tion, his variety of the Homo Ccndatus : he 
 is uncertain whether he ought to be ranked 
 with men or apes, and is deterred from plac- 
 ing him among the latter, chiefly because 
 he lights his own fire, and roasts Iiis victuals. 
 " Homo Caudatus, hirsutus, incola orbis 
 antarctici, nobis ignotus, ideoque utrum ad 
 honiinis aut simiae genus pcrtincat, non de- 
 termino. Mirum quod ignem excitet, car- 
 nemque asset, quamvis et cruda voret, testi- 
 
210 OF CERTAIN 
 
 monio peregrinantium.* Of the few autho- 
 rities which Linnaeus has produced in sup- 
 port of this variety, I have only been able 
 to consult one; but others have occurred to 
 me at different times, which I am now go- 
 ing to mention. 
 
 Pausanius is the most ancient authority 
 for the existence of men with tails. t He is 
 more frequently quoted to tliis purpose, be- 
 cause he derived his story from the very 
 person who saw such a race, in the Insula: 
 Satyriades, at which he touched, on being 
 driven westward while he was sailing for 
 Italy. The inhabitants, says Pausanias, are 
 red, and have tails not much less than those 
 of horses. 
 
 Pliny introduces among his other won- 
 ders, men witli hairy tails, of wonderful 
 swiftness, but I think without any authority. 
 This is all the testimony afforded by anti- 
 quity of the Caudatory variety, tmlcss the 
 
 ♦System. Natur. torn, 
 + Attic, lib. i. p. 43. 
 
VARIETIES OF MAN. 211 
 
 fable of the Fauns be reckoned some con- 
 firmation. Modem times have produced 
 more advocates for it. After the natives of 
 Europe began to penetrate into the east, au- 
 thorities multiplied. Marco Paolo, who 
 had the fate to be disbelieved in eveiy cre- 
 dible assertion, was believed, when he re- 
 ported that he saw in the kingdom of Lam- 
 bri men with tails of the length of a span.* 
 Peter Martyr describes a nation in India, 
 who have hard, immoveable, crooked tails, 
 of a span long, resembling those of croco- 
 diles ; so inconveniently appended, adds he, 
 that they are obliged to use perforated seats. 
 Majolus, Aldrovandus, and Bulwer, quote 
 a story from Major, and Joannes Neirem- 
 bergensis, of a generation produced with 
 tails, in Kent, or Dorsetshire, as a punish- 
 ment of some disrespect shewed to the mis- 
 sionary, St. Augustine, soon after his land- 
 ing. Bulwer was informed,t that in his 
 
 * Lib. Hi. c. xviii. , 
 i Artif. Chang, p. 410. 
 
aia OF CERTAIM 
 
 time, theit was a family in Kent, \Ch6se dt* 
 scendants were tailed; " insomuch," say*, 
 he, " that you may know any one to be 
 rightly descended of that family, by having 
 a tail." He adds, as a more probable ac- 
 count, that the inhabitants of Stroud, near 
 Rochester, incurred the curse of tails, by 
 cutting off the tail of Archbishop Becket'^ 
 horse. " Insomuch as you may know a 
 man of Stroud by his long taile. And to 
 make it a little more credible, that the 
 rump-bone, among brutish and strongs 
 docked nations, doth often sprout out with 
 such an excrescence, or beasfly emanation, 
 I am informed by an honest young man of 
 Captain Morris's company, in Lieutenant 
 General Ireton's regiment, that at Cashel in 
 die county of Tipperary, in the province of 
 Munster, in Carrick Patrick church, seated 
 on a hill or rock, stormed by the Lord 
 Inchjquin, and where there were near seven 
 hundred put lo the sword, and none saved 
 but the major's wife and his son; there were 
 found among the slain of the Irish, when 
 
VARIETIES OF MAN. SI3 
 
 they were stripped, divers that had tails near 
 a quarter of a yard long. The relator, 
 ieing very difidenf of the truth of -this 
 story f after enquiry, was ensured of the cer- 
 t^iinty thereof, by forty soldiers, that testified 
 .upon their oaths they were eye-witnessess, 
 being present at the action. It is reported 
 idso that in Spain there is such another tail- 
 ed nation." 
 
 The story of the miracle of St. Augus- 
 tine seems to have gained currency in early 
 times, as we learn from a passage in Fuller's 
 Wortkiesi " When there happened in Pa- 
 lestine a difference betwixt Robert, brother 
 of Saint Lewis king of France, and our Wil- 
 liam Longspce, Earl of Salisbury, heare 
 how the Frenchman insulted our nation. 
 Matthew Paris, a. d. 1250, p. 790. O 
 timidorum caudatorum fonnidolositas ! quam 
 beatus, quam mundus praesens foret exer- 
 citus, si a caudis purgarctur et caudatis. 
 ♦' O the cowardliness of these fearful long- 
 fails ! how happie, how cleane would this 
 
814 OF CERTAIN 
 
 our armie be, were it but purged from tailes 
 and longtailes."^ 
 
 I might add the testimony of Sir John 
 Maundevyle, of fabulous memory, werie 
 there not reason to fear, that in the con- 
 ceptions of unphilosophical readers, he 
 would disgrace so much good company. 
 There is less necessity for employing any 
 doubtful evidence, because the celebrated 
 Dr. Harvey is my next witness. He intro- 
 duces a story of a tailed nation,, in his fourth 
 Exercitation de Generadone Animalium, 
 chiefly, it would seem, for the sake of the 
 fact, for it has very little connection with 
 his subject. « Chirurgus quidam," saith the 
 learned doctor, " vir probus, mihique fami- 
 liaris, ex India Orientali redux, bona fide 
 jnihi narravit, in Insnlae Borneae locis a mare 
 remotioribus & montosis, nasci hodie genus 
 hominum caudatum (uti olim alibi accidisse 
 apud Pausanium legimus) e quibus aegre 
 papiam virginem (sunt enim s)'lvicote) ipse 
 
 * fuller's Worthies. Kent^ 
 
VARIETIES OF MAN. 215 
 
 vidit, cum cauda carnosa, crassa, spithamae 
 longitudine, intra dunes reflexa, quae anum 
 & pudenda operiebat." Slight hints are 
 sufficient for men of genius; and we may- 
 perceive by the inference we are about to 
 add, with how much reason nature is jealous 
 of discovering her mysteries, since Dr. Har- 
 vey having gotten a tail of a span long into 
 his hands, immediately fathoms the final 
 cause of the structure with it; " Usque adeo 
 velari ea loca voluit natura." This great 
 authority proved a seasonable support to the 
 Caudatory system, at a time when anato- 
 mists were much divided concerning it. 
 Among some it made such progress, that 
 Caspar Hoffman did not scruple to call the 
 Os Coccygis, the mark of a tail in untail- 
 ed animals; " caudce in non-caudatis nota." 
 But Riolan, that pompous declaimer on the 
 dignity of the human frame, sharply repre- 
 hended Hoffman for this irrevcrend expres- 
 sion, which shocked his delicacy severely, 
 and moreover touched him in a tender part ; 
 I mean, his hypothesis of the final cause of 
 
9l6. OF CERTA.IK 
 
 the sedentary posture. " Homo enim ad 
 sedendi commoditatem, says he, solus na- 
 tes habet, ut commode sedere possit ad me- 
 ditandumet philosopbandum. Sedensenim 
 anima (ex Aristou 7, Phys.) prudentior 
 est." 
 
 Diemerbroeck, an eminent writer on the 
 plague, and author of ^ System of Ana^ 
 tomy, in quarto, says, he saw a child newly 
 born (in 1638), which had a tail a foot and 
 half in length, resembling a monkey's. The 
 mother told him, that she had been frighten- 
 ed by a monkey at an early period of gesta- 
 tlon. 
 
 Aldrovandus gives a figure of a monstrous 
 fcetus with a tail; Caspar Schottus (in 
 1662) introduced a tailed man into his 
 ■Choice Collection of Prodigies ; what a hap- 
 py time had literary men, when philosophical 
 books were made up of such diverting ex*- 
 travaganciesi 
 
 In that volume of the Miscellanea Cu- 
 riosa, published in 1689, Dr. Michael Fre. 
 deric l^ochner relates a case of a Puer cau- 
 
VARIETIES OF MAN. SlJ 
 
 datus, which came under his own inspections 
 The story, which must lose by repetition, 
 out of the doctor's own quaint Latin, is 
 briefly this. Dr. Lochner was consulted for 
 the son of a respectable family, about eight 
 years of age. When the particulars of his 
 disease were enquired into, the parents, in- 
 stead of answering, shook their heads and 
 wept. The doctor was confounded, till recol- 
 kcting, he says, the Titulus jurisconsulto- 
 rius de ventre inspiciendo, he began to un- 
 button his patient's waistcoat; but the pa- 
 tient stopped him, by giving him to under- 
 stand that the complaint lay elsewhere : on 
 exploring then the peccantis pueritia: bi- 
 folium calendarium (as he facetiously 
 )>hrases it after Barlacus], he foand a tail re- 
 flected between the buttocks, of the length 
 bf a man's middle Rnger, and ' thickness of 
 the thumb. The parents were desirous of 
 amputation, but the doctor persuaded them 
 that no inconvenience would attend this or- 
 nament, and thus, says he, they retired peace- 
 ably with their Asconiolus caadatus. He 
 
Sl8 or CERTAIN 
 
 adds, that Dr. David Zollicofer observed a 
 similar case at Basil, and the celebrated 
 Blancard another in Holland. 
 
 In another volume of the Miscellanea 
 Curiosa, to which I cannot immediately re- 
 fer, a learned physician describes a puer 
 caudatus, whom he examined carefully, in 
 consequence of hearing him derided by his 
 play-fellows, on the subject of this unlucky 
 appendage. 
 
 I must regret my inability to consult the 
 Collection de I'Academie Royale de Scien- 
 ces,* for a paper on Men with Tails, publish- 
 ed under the promising name of Otto Helbi- 
 gius. I find a quotation from an author of 
 this name, in Dr. Lochner's note, asserting 
 the existence of Homines Caudati in the 
 island of Formosa. 
 
 Here the matter appears to have rested, 
 till the year 1771, when Dr. Guindant pub- 
 lished his Variations de la Nature dans /' Es- 
 fece Humaine, in which he took occasion to 
 
 • This is a separate work from the Memoirs. 
 
VARIETIES OF MAN. 219 
 
 assert the existence of men with tails, and 
 even to corroborate the opinion with new 
 examples. One 6f these occurred at Or- 
 leans, in ,1 7 1 8, where the subject, ashamed of 
 his tail, submitted to an operation for its 
 removal, which cost him his life. There 
 can . be no doubt of this fact, because it was 
 taken from the Mercure for the month of 
 September in that year. Doctor Guindant 
 mentions two other instances, at Aix in 
 Provence, one of a girl named Marline, the 
 other of a Procureur named Berard, but he 
 does not specify the length of their tails. 
 And in his extreme zeal for the caudatory 
 system, he asserts, that a man's courage is 
 not diminished by such an appendage ; as a 
 proof of which, he mentions the Sieur de 
 Cruvellier of La Ciotat, who, though he 
 had a tail, distinguished himself greatly in 
 some actions against the Turks. It is ra- 
 ther surprising, that the ingenious doctor 
 did not consider the extraordinary necessi- 
 Q'^ of courage, in a man who has a tail, as 
 
aso or cEftTAiN 
 
 that peculiarity must expose him to man^r 
 affronts. 
 
 Dr. Guindant adds, but I fear from reU 
 port, that the southern part of the island of 
 Formosa, the Molucca and Philippine islands,' 
 contain whole races of men with tails, and 
 that in the burning desarts of Borneo, die 
 greatest part of the inhabitants are tailed. 
 
 An experimental philosopher of the high- 
 est reputation, furnishes another authority, ' 
 
 " Travellers make mention of a nation 
 with tails, in the islands of Nicobar, Java, 
 Manilla, Formosa, and others. Koping re- 
 lates, that when the ship on which he was 
 aboard anchored near Nicobar, a number 
 of blackish yellow people, having cat's tails, 
 came on board. They wanted iron in ex- 
 change for their parrots, but as nobody would 
 trade with them, they wrung their birds* 
 heads off, and eat them raw. Bontius saw 
 from the mountains, in the island Born€o,f 
 
 • In viewing a savage clothed with the skin of 
 a quadruped, a traveller, intent on wonders. 
 
VARIETIES OF MAN. 221 
 
 a nation whose tails were only a few inches 
 long, and in all probability only an elonga^: - 
 tion of the Os Coccygis. Ptolomy already 
 had made mention of a people having tails,'' 
 &c. &c.* 
 
 The latest evidence of such conformation 
 (in the case of the school-master of Inver- 
 ness t) is an honourable and learned writer, 
 vho has erected a most stupendous hypo- 
 thesis on this unequal foundation of a span. 
 What would Boileau's Ass say to.all this 
 evidence ? 
 
 O! que si I' ane alors, a bon droit misantrope, 
 Pouvoit trouver la voix qu'l cut au terns d'Esope, 
 De tous cotcz, docteur, voiant les hommes foux, 
 Qu' il diroit de bon cgeur, sans en ctre jaloux. 
 Content de ses chardons, et sccouant sa tete, 
 Ma foi, non plus que nous, I'hommc n'est qu'une 
 bete! 
 
 might mistake the. tail of his prey for a natural 
 appendage. 
 
 * Bergmann's Physical Description of the 
 £arth. 
 
 t Orig. and Prog, of Lang, vol.i. b. ii, c.iii. 
 
222 or CERTAIN 
 
 There are few stronger, proofs of the in- 
 utility of single observations, than this af- 
 fair of the Homines Caudati. The only 
 solid foundation of any of these stories, is 
 an accidental elongation of the os coccygis, 
 which we can easily conceive to happen, as 
 that bone consists of four pieces: redun- 
 dancies in other parts of the body are so fre- 
 quent, in monstrous cases, that we cannot 
 wonder to find a joint occasionally added to 
 this part. Thus it is, that a few instances 
 of dwarfs are multiplied by writers into na- 
 tions; fewer instances of accidental mal-con- 
 formation of parts produce other nations — 
 in books. 
 
 Men have complained for many years, 
 and we complain at present, of want of 
 facts; yet it appears, that in books of 
 good character we find more facts than can 
 be credited. Do we not want good ob- 
 servers rather than new facts? And is not 
 the indiscriminate collection of facts an en- 
 creasing evil? It is certain that in consult- 
 
VARIETIES OF MAN. 223 
 
 ing authors on the subjects they profess 
 to examine, we are commonly as much dis- 
 appointed as Mr. Shandy, when he applies to 
 Rubenius for the ancient construction of a 
 pair of breeches. Chemistry is perhaps im- 
 proving under the fashionable mediod, be- 
 cause the principal experiments are fre- 
 quendy repeated, and because its objects 
 being permanent, former errors have many 
 chances of being discovered; but in other 
 branches of knowledge, die number of facts, 
 on the whole, overbalances their credibility. 
 It is unfortunate, that since the means of 
 publicadon have been so much facilitated, 
 every man thinks himself endtled to observe 
 and to publish. How many collections of 
 pretended facts are daily offered to medical 
 men, in which it is happy for mankind if the 
 author's weakness be sufficiently evident, to 
 destroy, at first sight, the credit of his obser 
 vauons ! Writers who publish merely for 
 the sake of reputadon, may be solid enough 
 for those who read for die sole purpose of 
 
S24 ON VARIETIES OF MAK. 
 
 talking, but every man who is in quest of 
 real knowledge must lament, that so few 
 books are written with a design to instruct, 
 and so very many only to surprise or amuse. 
 
Menippean essay 
 
 on 
 
 ENGLISH HISTORIANS. 
 
 Tw dys &uf*ov etep'Tcev. 
 
 Iliad : ix. 
 
The following essay consitts of prose and verie intermixeil« 
 a practice not very commoa at prescDt, which may therefore 
 require some explanation. Among the French writers, this 
 mode has been much used in many celebrated productions ; 
 In this country, thr excellence of Cowley's mixed pieces hai 
 served rather to deter, than to invite imitation. I recollect 
 only two essays written on this plan, the Polite rhihsopkcT, 
 and the Essay on Delicacy, the first by Mr. Forrest, and the lat- 
 trr by Dr. Lancaster; but the poetry of those gentlemen dif- 
 fered so little from their piose, that the transition produced 
 rj> remarkable effect. It seems favourable to an author's ex> 
 ritions, that he should be obliged to proceed no farther in 
 verse, than his poetical impulse determines him ; and that up~ 
 on a change of subject, or a toul deficiency of poetical ideas, 
 he should be permitted to betake himself to prose. The best 
 poets are unequal, and are obliged to admit occasionally weak 
 or insipid verses, for the purpose of connecting the better parts 
 of their work. But it must be allowed, that many laborioui 
 productions would have been much improved, if only the 
 happier passages had appeared in the poetical form, and the re- 
 mainder had been printed as plain prose. Much fatigue 
 would thus have been spared to the author, and much disgust 
 to the reader. It must be owned that tliere is something im- 
 posing in the appearance of verse ; aVa noted critic lately mis- 
 iuok die nonsrn:>r-\ crses in Pope's Miscellanies fttr a serious 
 love pnem; but my proposal is intended for the relief of a 
 »las« of viiters very different from Pope. 
 
»2J 
 
 mei^iippean essay on englijh 
 historians. 
 
 ^ince English writers have discovered 
 the secret of uniting elegance and interest 
 with the narration of facts, historical com- 
 positions have multiplied greatly in the lan- 
 guage. The avidity with which they are 
 perused was indeed to be expected, at a. 
 time when the love of reading proceeds to 
 a degree of dissipation. In these produc- 
 tions, the reader feels his understanding im- 
 proved, and his taste gratified at the same 
 time; and for the sake of those who can 
 dnly be allured '.by the dainties of know- 
 ledge, some historians have condescended to 
 adopt the style of novellists, and to relieve 
 the asperities of negociation and war, by 
 tender dialogue and luscious description. 
 If "some writers, envious of the treasures 
 
228 MENIPPEAN ESSAY OM 
 
 they mean to impart, have sullenly involved 
 themselves in Latin, they are however not 
 more difficult than those who present us 
 with aenigmatical English. 
 
 It was very late, before the class of his? 
 torians became a respectable department of 
 our literature. The natural reserve and 
 coldness of our countrymen seems even to 
 have influenced their publications, and to 
 have made them sensible of the difficulty 
 of telling the gravest story to the world. 
 Meanwhile, tradition, corrupted by poetry, 
 and other seductive causes, offered our own 
 history to the reader, in a state more proper 
 to exercise his critical powers, than to fur- 
 nish him with either agreeable or useful in- 
 formation. 
 
 From bards, inspir'd by mead, or Celtic beer, 
 Burst forth the bloody feud, or vision drear. 
 Till each attendant bagpipe squeak'd for fear 
 
 • } 
 
 • At thy well-sharpen'd thumb, from shore to 
 
 shore 
 The trebles squeak for fear, the bases roar. 
 
 Mac FUckno. 
 
ENGLISH HISTORIANS. 229 
 
 They sung how Fin Mac Coul * controU'd the 
 
 fight, 
 Or Merlin rav'd with more than second-sight. 
 Down Time's long stream the dying music floats, 
 And cheats th' impatient ear with broken notes, 
 LuU'd by the murmur, antiquarians snore, 
 Of Highland-epics dream, and Druid-lore; 
 Or on the seeming steep, and shadowy plain. 
 Hunt the glass-castle, or Phenician fane.-|- 
 
 Next doleful ballads troU'd th' immortal theme. 
 Sung to the car, or whistl'd to the team : ^ 
 Tfao' wicked wits, from age to age, refuse 
 The homely ditties of the hob-nail-muse. 
 Long tost, the sport of mountain-air and winds,|| 
 These P — y comments, and these Edwards binds. 
 Now from his store each restless rival draws 
 Rhyme's tarnish'd flowers, blunt points, and rusty 
 
 saws. 
 Till our bright shelves, in gilded pride, display 
 The trash our wiser fathers threw away. 
 
 Our early hist'ry shuns the judging eye. 
 Id convents bred, the urchin learn'd to lie; 
 
 • Fingal. 
 
 ■I- Glass-castle.3 Vitrified forts in Scotland; and 
 the celebrated ship-temples in Ireland. 
 
 f Sung to the wheel, and sung unto the paile. 
 
 HaU's Virgidcm. 
 ]| 1. 1 rapidis ludibria ventis. Vik<;. 
 
230 MENITPSAM ESSAY Otf 
 
 White phantoms wave their palmsin golden meadi^- 
 And the pale school-boy trembles as he reads. 
 
 The later chroniclers, with little skill. 
 Darkling and dull, drew round th' historic mill. 
 In wild confusion strow'd, appear the feats 
 Of shews and battles, duels, balls, and treats ; 
 Here the rich arms victorious Edward bore, 
 There the round oaths which great Eliza swore : 
 And quaint devices, justs, and knightly flames, 
 And gay caparisons, and dainty dames. 
 
 The most striking defect in the present 
 figure of history, is not meagreness, but in- 
 flation, which distorts her feattures, and con- 
 founds her proportions. Like the Roman,* 
 who thought it increased his dignity to wear 
 robes too long for his body, and shoes too 
 large for his feet, some of our writers in this 
 style have endeavoured to adapt huge words, 
 and immeasurable periods to every trifling 
 occurrence. 
 
 Such tumid lines a failing age betray, 
 
 As bloated limbs bespeak tho heart's decay. 
 
 Some critics, fond of discovering analo- 
 • Plin. EpistoU 
 
BKCLISH HlSTOaiAMSt S3I 
 
 gies in science and art, have compared Hs* 
 tory with architecture : in this country, th^ 
 progress of taste in both has some degree of 
 correspondence. The dark tales, and wild 
 ^storical ballads, may be compared to the 
 caves and summer bowers of our remote an< 
 .cestors. In the monkish histories, the re- 
 ligious gloom of the monastery perpetually 
 overshadows us. And indeed, the similari- 
 ty of old histories to Gothic edifices is so 
 impressive, that we often meet with the 
 thought. Two beautiful passages immedi- 
 ately suggest themselves. Mr, Hayley, in 
 his Essay on History, says of Lord Claren- 
 don: 
 
 Yet shall his labours long adorn our isle, 
 Like the proud glories of some Gothic pile ; 
 They, tho' constructed by a bigot's hand, 
 Nor nicely fiuish'd, nor correctly plann'd,* 
 With solemn majesty, and pious gloom. 
 An vuUA influence o'er the mind assume; 
 And from the alien eyes of ev'ry sect 
 Attract observance, and command respect, 
 
 * This appears to me a harsh censure of tho 
 playful elegance, and complex itgularity of Gothic 
 architecture. 
 
238 MENIPPEAN -ESSAY OH 
 
 Strada, in the second part of his Muretus, 
 offers us nearly the same image on the same 
 subject: — " ut nonnullae aedium sacrarum 
 rudes attritae ac vetustate propemodum cor- 
 ruptae religiosius interdum coluntur, quam 
 quae magniBco sunt opere atque elegant! ; 
 sic ilia incuriosa sermonis structura saepe- 
 numero majorem habet venerationem ac 
 fidem." 
 
 To pursue the figure, the works of our 
 historians, who wrote before the reign of 
 James i. may be compared to the old ba- 
 ronial castles, strong and dreary, full of dark 
 and circuitous passages, but interesting by 
 the very melancholy which they inspire. 
 In these compositions, the glimmering sen- 
 timents, obscure explanations, and the in- 
 artificial combination of incidents, remind 
 us of Gray's 
 
 Rich windows, that exclude the light. 
 And passages which lead to nothing.* 
 
 As the study of the Greek and Latin 
 • I-ong Story. 
 
KNCLISR HISTORIANS. 233 
 
 writers prevailed among us, a mixed style 
 was introduced, similar to that which we 
 condemn in buildings of the seventeenth cen- 
 tury; where we perceive an unsuccessful 
 attempt to combine ancient elegance with 
 modem rudeness. Where an ornament, 
 beautiful in itself, is often misplaced, so as to 
 appear ridiculous; the artist, for example, 
 transferring those decQrations which would 
 have graced the nobler parts of the edifice, 
 to add to the enormity of an over-grown 
 chimney. 
 
 At length the aera of elegant simplicity 
 arrived, when our writers and artists became 
 convinced, that the easiest method of ex- 
 celling, consisted in a close imitation of the 
 models of antiquity. We have seen good 
 taste carried nearly to its point of perfection; 
 and as great exertions seem to exhaust the 
 moral, as well as the physical world, we have 
 perhaps witnessed the first symptoms of its 
 decay. Robertson was simple and correct ; 
 Hume was more lofty, uniform, and ap- 
 proached the point of Attic elegance. But 
 
234 MENIPrSAN ESSAY ON 
 
 Other authors have thought it necessary, ta 
 cover their marble with gold and azure; .la 
 their avidity of beauties, they have amused 
 the most incongruous figures, and have 
 blended them in one glare of barbarous mag^ 
 nificence.* 
 
 An excess of polish and refinement, a* 
 mong other inconveniences, tempts the his- 
 torian to suppress or vary the strong, origi> 
 nal expressions, which trying occasions exf 
 tort from men of genius. Yet these, infi^ 
 nitely superior to phrases which have cooU 
 ed in the critical balance, always form the 
 brightest ornaments of a well-composed his- 
 tory. They transport our imagination to 
 the scene, domesticate us with eminent men, 
 and afford us a kind of temporary existence 
 in other ages. Few of our writers, except- 
 ing Lloyd, have attended su£Bciently to the 
 preservation of these flashes of sentiment and 
 
 • Such writers oblige us to recollect Quintili* 
 an's observation respecting figures; " sicutomant 
 orationem opportune positai, ita iNEFTitsiMAt 
 esse cum immodicc petuntur." 
 
ENGLISH HISTORIANS. 235 
 
 inteUigeiice. A single word sometimes con- 
 veys as much information of character and 
 principles^ as a whole dissertation. An old 
 French historian, for example, in describing 
 the punishment of some peasants, defeated in 
 an insurr^cdon, by an officer of the Empe- 
 ror's, in 1525, displays the ferocious intoler- 
 ance of that dme by one epithet. ^ II punit 
 grievemment les prisonniers, signamment les 
 meurtriers du Comte d' Helfestein, et entre 
 autres un, sur lequel il pratiqua une cen- 
 T.I LL£ invendon. Le criminel fut contraint 
 amasser un tas de bois, autour d' un posteau, 
 fiche au milieu d' une grande place, auquel 
 puis apres on le lie, d' une chesne portant un 
 pen outre le bois. Ainsi quand 1' executeur 
 eut allume le feu de toutes parts, le malheu- 
 reux couroit autour se rotissant peu a peu 
 luy mesme."* 
 
 When a prevalent taste for a certain smooth- 
 ness and splendor of style is established, the 
 value of such a decoration is easily over-rated. 
 
 * Ltval, Hilt, des Guerres Civiles, p. 24. 
 
836 MENIPPEAK^ tSIAV OK' 
 
 And writers, capable of doing good service 
 by a laborious union of facts, are compelled 
 to waste their exertions, in imitating those 
 favourite turns of expression, which they 
 can never incorporate with their own dic- 
 tion, by the strongest mechanical efforts. It 
 gives pain to a good-natured reader, to see 
 his author engaged in such unavailing strug- 
 gles ; for some persons can no more acquire 
 a good style, than a graceful manner, and in 
 both instances, the affectation of unattainable 
 graces only adds distortion to clownishness. 
 <. 
 
 Vain such a boast of polish'd style, 
 We seem to hear the rasping file 
 
 As thro' the hbour'd lines we' drudge; 
 If sullen nature grace deny. 
 Not Vestris can the fault supply. 
 
 Nor win to praise the sneering judge. 
 
 Indeed, if an elegant writer adopt a fa- 
 vourite class of metaphors, it is pursued to 
 extermination by his imitators. At one 
 time, all occurrences were like a race; after- 
 wards they were like a battle; lately, they 
 
ZMCL-ISH. HISTORIANS. 2^7 
 
 have resembled a ship. At present, light 
 and darkness are the favourite sources of 
 figures. Every subject is luminous^ or 
 shadedi and every author, proud to ex- 
 hibit his lanthorn at noon like Diogenes, is 
 eager to "light his farthing candle at the sun."* 
 When iin historian merely translates in 
 patch-work, like KnoUes (whom Dr. John- 
 son has unfortunately, dragged into notice, 
 by injudicious praise), he is easily misled 
 by the formal track of those grave authors, 
 who treat all parts of their subject in the 
 same manner. When the story thus comes 
 unexpectedly to a full stop, a very ludicrous 
 surprise often follows the most tragical his- 
 tory. To avoid the offence of particular 
 application, I shall try the effect of abstract- 
 ing such a passage from Laval, whom I have 
 just quoted. It relates to the siege of Poi- 
 tiers, by the French Protestants, in 1569. 
 " On the 24th of August, the festival of 
 St. Bartholomew, the besiegers began, ear- 
 
 • Young's Love of Fame. 
 
-^38 -MENIPP£AN' X8S'AY>-0N 
 
 ly in the morning, to batter in breach, with 
 twenty-two pieces of cannon; and fired all 
 day without intermission, so briskly that 
 the whole city shook. They seemed de- 
 termined to overturn every thing, by so fii- 
 rious an attack, for they had never raged in 
 such a manner before; and it was said, that 
 this was their last effort, if we could resist 
 which, there would be nothing more to ap- 
 prehend. They were so diligent, that they 
 fired near eight hundred cannon shot that 
 day; so that several officers declared, that 
 considering the number of their guns, it was 
 impossible to keep up a more terrible dis- 
 char^. 
 
 ** The garrison expected the assault, about 
 t\¥o or three o'clock in the afternoon, when 
 it was supposed that the breach would be 
 practicable; and in fact, about half an hour 
 past one, it was so large, that for more than 
 an hundred paces, a man bn horseback, in 
 complete armour, might have entered it with- 
 out difficulty. About that time, therefore, 
 the enemy drew up in order of battle, on 
 
2NGLISK HISTORIANS. £39 
 
 t&e rising ground of the suburb, covered in 
 front by a wall, which extends from St. Cy- 
 prian to the said suburb. They were all in 
 
 white surcoats and we could see their 
 
 officers flying from rank to rank, haranguing 
 and encouraging them. They seemed to 
 threaten, at the same time, the Pre I'Abbesse 
 and Pont Joubert, which, notwithstanding 
 the inundation, they expected to force : they 
 had also on this side another division of their 
 troops, who were in full expectation of sup- 
 ping in the town, and called to our people to 
 
 get ready for them. In the mean time, 
 
 they fired from all their batteries, especially 
 on those places which they designed to attack. 
 ** The poor townspeople, though quite 
 unaccustomed to such thunder, were inde- 
 fatigable in carrying beds, fascines, barrels, 
 and other things, to cover the breach. 
 Every one did his duty, without being terri- 
 fied by seeing his neighbour fall. A single 
 
 bullet would carry off four or five good sol- 
 diers ; and several poor people, workmen, 
 and others, were killed while they were busy 
 
240 MEKIBPEAN ESSAY OK 
 
 in repairing the breach; while the nobility. 
 who were present were covered with the 
 blood of the slain, yet kept their posts to en- 
 courage the men. It is a certain fact, that 
 several persons were killed between the legs 
 of the Sieurs du Lude and de RufFec, so that 
 their clothes were dyed in blood, yet they 
 did not quit the breach, but shewed them- 
 selves on the top of it, to evince their ala- 
 crity to encounter the enemy. When they 
 
 saw what countenance the enemy kept, the 
 alarm-bell was rung, to give notice of the 
 assault, and the Srs. de Guise and du Lude, 
 having ordered every one to his post, took, 
 respectively, the charge of the breaches, one 
 of that of Pre I'Abbesse, and the whole of 
 that face; the other, of that which was made 
 that day, between St. Radegonde and St. 
 Sulpice; both very large, and difficult to be 
 defended. 
 
 The Italians being prepared to go to the 
 breach, and harangued by one of their lead- 
 ers, swore on the crucifix to die sooner than 
 to fail in their duty. And before they took 
 
ENGLISH HISTORIANS. 24! 
 
 their post, falling on their knees, in the 
 church of St. Radegonde, they devoted 
 themselves to God with such eamestqess, 
 that the bystanders could not refrain from 
 tears. 
 
 ** In the mean time, the principal ladies 
 of Poitiers retired into the castle, and betook 
 themselves to their prayers with great fer- 
 vency. A strong body of horse patroled 
 the streets, to prevent disorders, and com- 
 pel the people to assist in the defence £ve- 
 ly thing thus prepared, Mr. de Guise and 
 his brother, with a good troop of brave men, 
 guarded all the breaches of Pre I'Abbesse 
 and Pont Joubert (where the town was 
 open to an assault], and at the grand breach, 
 newly made, was the Count du Lude, who 
 defended the centre, with the Sieur de RufFec 
 and other gentlemen on his right. The 
 Sieur de Montpezac, with some gentlemen 
 of his dependance, was stationed on the left. 
 
 " The enemy, who, from the rising 
 grounds, saw almost every thing that 
 p.as$ed in the town, perceiving the firm 
 
 R. 
 
24* MENIPPEAN ESSAY OR - 
 
 countenance which the garrison shevcd^" 
 
 DID NOT COMt TO THE ASSAULT.'* 
 
 However ridiculous this lame and impo- 
 tent conclusion may appear, it is yet mortf 
 inconvenient, that historians, fond of a figU-' 
 rative style, are extremely averse to deliver 
 any fact, in a manner intelligible to readers 
 less instructed than themselves. They often 
 notice an important event, as a possible case,' 
 and tempt the reader, from the plain road 
 of narration, into pleasing and sportful tields 
 of digression, where he is sometimes arrested 
 by a display of the " non-vulgaris eruditio," 
 and sometimes by exhibitions not very suit- 
 able to tlie dignity of history. 
 
 Let us suppose an author of this class (d 
 describe some event, which he desires to res- 
 cue from obscurity, such as the taking of 
 Cashel in Ireland, during Cromwel's usur- 
 pation; a fact equally illu.vtrious with many, 
 which the industry of modern historians has 
 deigned to illuminate. 
 
 « A numerous body of natives, distrust- 
 ing the mercy of the victors, had fortified 
 
ENGLISH HISTORIANS. 243 
 
 themselves on the steep and difficult hill of 
 Cashel, in the county of Tipperary. A 
 royal residence, converted by the piety of 
 its monarch into a magniRcent cathedral, and 
 once dignified by the priestly functions of 
 the Prince of Munster, offered at once the 
 means of defence, and the motives of resist- 
 ance. A generous enemy would have re- 
 spected the attachments of patriotism and 
 religion; but Ireton had learned to despise 
 the impression of episcopal grandeur. 
 
 « On the northern side of the choir, was 
 elevated one of those lofty, conical towers, 
 which have exercised the genius of antiqua- 
 ries, respecting their origin and destination. 
 The most probable opinion assigns them to 
 the sect of Stylita,* anchorites, who to with- 
 draw their attention more completely from 
 
 * " Dr. Campbell, in his Philosophical Survey of 
 the South of Ireland, supposed these towers to 
 have been belfries, because he found bells or bell- 
 ropes in most of those which he had seen. Post 
 hoc, ergo propuflioc, I fear, is bad logic. The best 
 view of one of these towers, is in the Virtuosi's 
 Museum, plate xxiv." 
 
244 MENIFPrEAN ESSAT Olf 
 
 sublunary objects, mounted the aspiring 
 summit of a tower or pillar, and consumed 
 the revolving years of a monotonous exist- 
 ence, in gazing intently on the heavenly bo- 
 dies. Some of the ancient philosophical 
 sects, received their denominations from 
 their places of instruction : these holy men, 
 condescending, in this instance, to follow a 
 heathen example, took the name of pillar- 
 climbers, from the seat of their contempla- 
 uons. 
 
 " Simeon, a shepherd of Syria, founded 
 ihis sect in the eighth century. Perhaps, as 
 superstition is strongly imitative, the austeri- 
 ties of Simeon drew their origin from the 
 mysterious exercises, annually performed in 
 Syria, on elevations apparently very differ- 
 ent in their original design. From the tra- 
 ditional honours of the colossal symbols, de- 
 dicated by Bacchus to Juno, in the sacred 
 city,* an imagination inflamed by solitude 
 
 * " See the treatise riifi i-nt Si>fiiw Sea, inserted 
 ;<:noiig Lucian's pieces. In the description of 
 •itc irnip'e of Hicrzpolis, the author, whoever he 
 
SNCLISH HISTORIANS. S45 
 
 and a burning sky, would pant after die pure 
 -and privileged region of watchful seclusion. 
 But even in Syria, it became necessary to 
 •belter the candidate for ascedc honours, in 
 
 WM , treats at some length of these singular anti> 
 quities. 
 
 " —-^ % •«XX»i Jt irovi w run «f»«vX<ioiji im xafrt 
 
 TOTEAE *AAAOTfj; AI0NY£0£ 
 HPHP< MHTHP< ANE3HKA. 
 
 Other monuments, of a similar kind, erected in 
 the same temple, to Bacchus, contained the nufot- 
 v«rs> or, in the familiar language of the antiqua- 
 rian (for I cannot suspect Lucian of writing such 
 a cold catalogue of absurdities) »'ifat /Mxfut u {»Xii 
 mmiiifuiiii, /iv/xxa wSois ij^gnro. He adds, that one of 
 the colossal pauoi was yearly ascended, by a man 
 who remained on the summit for seven days. 
 The reader who wishes to know how such a 
 monument, three hundred cubits high, according 
 to the original, or even thirty, by the correction of 
 criticism, could be ascended without the aid of 
 steps, or any security for the feet, may consult 
 Reitzius's excellent edition of Lucian, tom. iii. 
 p. 475, where his curiosity will be amply grati- 
 fied." 
 
246 MENIPPEAN ESSAY Orf 
 
 his permanent residence, when the place's of 
 the inanimate Neurospasta were supplied 
 by the vigour of living saints. The majes- 
 tic emblem was therefore excavated, and a 
 winding staircase facilitated the access of the 
 votary. Perhaps an arched roof complet- 
 ed the figure, and the hermit, elevated on 
 the mystical summit, enjoyed the visionary 
 raptures of his proximity to superior intel- 
 ligences. Such an edifice, in the hour of 
 danger, could only serve to descry the ap- 
 proach of an enemy, marked by the pro- 
 gress of terror and desolation. On minds 
 rendered fierce and sanguinary, by the ha- 
 bit of deciding theological differences with 
 the point of the sword, the religion of anti- 
 quity could not operate; and if the regi- 
 ment of Inchiquin was destined to the at- 
 tack, it was probably designed to weaken 
 the imputation of cruelty, which an English 
 commander would have incurred by the re- 
 fusal of quarter,"* 
 
 * " In the extermination of the garrison, insult 
 Y/is added to outrage : the victors pretended, that 
 
ENGLISH HISTORIANS. £47 
 
 \- Our passion for oriental history, and the 
 -peculiar character of the specimens with 
 which we have been favoured, must remind 
 the most careless observer of the distorted 
 railing, shapeless pavilions, and gilded dra- 
 gons, which the love of what was called 
 Chinese architecture poured into our fields 
 and gardens, a few years ago. Indeed, the 
 attraction of novelty, however hideous, has 
 proceeded so far, that in reading some late 
 productions, one cannot avoid thinking of the 
 Sicilian Prince, who surrounded his villa 
 with statues of monsters, only remarkable by 
 the extremity of their distance from truth 
 and probability. 
 
 But, tired of this extravagance, we now 
 begin to recal the Gothic labours of our 
 ancestors into our pleasure-grounds; we 
 crown the artificial mound with the shivered 
 (ipnjon, and wind the ivy round the un. 
 finished pinnacles of the mimic abbey, 
 
 ^tnong (He sUip, several homines caudali were di}- 
 fovered.'' 
 
£4^ 'menippeah essay om 
 
 While good taste is contented with simply 
 restoring the traces of ancient grandeiu^ 
 caprice disfigures whatever it attempts to 
 embellish, and prefers absurdity of inven- 
 tion to correct imitation. So it has iared 
 with those who have revived select portions 
 of English history, mingled with a certain 
 degree of sentiment and fiction. In some 
 of these attempts, the small chasms of pri- 
 vate history are so dextrously supplied, and 
 the bare line of general narration is so hap- 
 pily ornamented, that we readily give up 
 our fancy to a delusion, which instructs 
 while it imposes on us. In the inferior pro- 
 ductions of this kind, all intricacy and dis- 
 tress revert to the common peace-breaker of 
 novels, love. All state-mysteries and revo- 
 lutions are imputed to some sighing damsel 
 in her ruS* and farthingale; 
 
 Some whisker'd pecr^with song and sonnet big ; 
 Some tender Damon, in his lion-wig; 
 
 and the author, presuming on his read- 
 er's inadvertence, does not scruple to bestow 
 
ENGLISH HISTORIANS. 249 
 
 youth, and the hearts of young ladies on a 
 paralytic senator, or to represent a beauty 
 as inexperienced and frail in her grand cli- 
 macteric. An anachronism of thirty or 
 forty years, however injurious to ancient 
 characters, is easily overlooked : 
 
 -Thus harshly Maro treats the Tyrian datne; 
 Tho' sev'ring time protects her spotless fame : 
 Safe from the pious chiePs imputed lust, 
 Scarce ev'a their skeletoos could mingle dust. 
 Ye beauteous maids, who fire the modern lay, 
 With merit humble, and with virtue gay, 
 Tho' with such sacred heat your charms allure. 
 That ev'ry melting thought but runs more pure, 
 (As, on Helvetian hills, the virgin-snow 
 Takes its fine polish from the solar glow] 
 Yield your soft pity to the injur'd shade. 
 Whom Virgil's arms, disdaining time, invade. 
 
 No guiding angel taught her to descry, 
 
 Tlyro' fabled dreams, the ruler of the sky ; 
 
 No hope yet fann'd the soul's immortal flame, 
 
 Her hell was censure, her religion fame. 
 
 Of these short hopes, ye poets, what abuse ; 
 
 Pepelope is chaste,* and Dido loose! 
 
 * Tradition has made very free with the cha. 
 ncter of this Udy, notwithstanding the praisci 
 
250 MENIPPEAN ESSAr Ojr 
 
 It must be owned, however, that in the 
 passion for restoring ancient beauties,. some 
 deception has taken place. If an author,* 
 professing to vindicate the character of an 
 unfortunate princess, has thought proper to 
 falsify the features of a medal yet in exist- 
 ence,t what credit shall we give to his ac- 
 count of circumstances which he could only 
 know by conjecture ? Some of the cham- 
 pions in this cause have, indeed, displayed 
 great abilities, and great charity; and no- 
 body, I imagine, could be more suprised by 
 the result of their enquiries, than the un- 
 happy subject of them. 
 
 Could she from cold oblivion peep. 
 And sec her modern portrait shine, 
 So pure, so holy, so divine. 
 
 Round which cv'n wits and scholars weep ; 
 
 bestowed on it by Homer, In some parts of 
 Greece, altars were raised to her, as the patroness 
 of promiscuous intercourse, 
 
 * Dr. Stuart, in his Hist, of Scotland. 
 
 + See the profile of Queen Mary, in that work, 
 where the features are very different from the 
 pinched cheeks and turned up nose of the cele» 
 brated medal, from which it is said to be taken. 
 
ENGLISH HISTORIANS. 25^ 
 
 The nymph, who on the mountain's steep 
 
 Once more adom'd poor Darnley's brow * 
 Would rouse her from her tedious sleep, 
 
 With many a hymn, and many a vow ; 
 And drawing from her bosom deep 
 
 Those tales 'bout which historians vary. 
 Beg, while her humble sinews bow. 
 
 Protection from the new St. Mary. 
 
 By the uncertainty of historical truth, and 
 by the appearance of success, which in cer- 
 tain periods, attends the worst men, and the 
 most wicked designs, some have been induc- 
 ed to prefer romantic to real history, as 
 the more favourable to virtue. But fic- 
 tion is always more feeble than truth ; for 
 the most difficult task of imagination, is the 
 invention of incidents; and those who wish 
 to improve by experience, cannot be too 
 accurate in determining the real connection 
 of the facts, from which they are to conclude. 
 
 * A tradition, from which a hill, in the neigh- 
 bourhood of Linlithgow, takes the denomination 
 'of Cocu U Roy. 
 
352 M^NirPEAV ESSAY OK 
 
 A fable may illustrate a moral apophthegm, 
 but can add no force to a political maxim. 
 
 Some eminent philosophers, on the con- 
 trary, attaching too much importance to 
 mathematical demonstration, have wished to 
 confine the knowledge of history to certain 
 undeniable facts, and would deprive us of 
 some of its most engaging passages, to pre- 
 vent the possibility of deception. But the 
 essence of history, or indeed of any study, 
 requiring much labour, is always apt to eva- 
 porate in the moment of enjoyment. It is 
 nearly impossible to transmit the result of our 
 own labours into the minds of others, who 
 have hot qualified themselves for their re- 
 cepdon by the necessary degree of previous 
 research. Oc, if they are imderstood, they 
 can only furnish the reader with an author's 
 opinions, of which he knows not the founda- 
 tion, and that can neverbecome active sources 
 of knowledge, like those which he might 
 obtain by his own exertions. After all, how 
 small is the class of readers, who study his- 
 tory, with the expectation of acquiring vir» 
 
ENGLISH HISTORIANS. 253 
 
 tue or experience ! To those who are des- 
 tute of the habits and discipline of literature, 
 history is litde better than a splendid pan- 
 tomime, where some of the spectators are 
 delighted with the dexterity and boldness 
 of the hero, others with the magnificence 
 of the scenes, and the astonishing changes 
 of the machinery; from such' an entertain- 
 ment, the majority carry away, perhaps, as 
 many moral impressions, as they would 
 receive from the study of Thucydides or 
 Davila. 
 
THE PUPPET-SHEW J 
 
 A DIDACTIC POEM: 
 
 partly translated from Addison's Machinct 
 CtiticulanUs. 
 
 Written in 1788. 
 
THE ARGUMENT. 
 Exordium — Merry Andrea — The Booth— En^ 
 (ranee of the Puppets — PUNCH — ReveUings — 
 Simile— A BattU— AMERICAN WAR— PIETY 
 IN PATTENS — OMBRES C HINGISES— A 
 Simile— PAT AGON I AN THEATRE— SERI- 
 OUS BALLETS— A Vision— PhUosophy of Pup- 
 ftt-Shtois — The Marquis de Casnux — Poets are 
 Puppets — Conclusion. 
 
«57 
 
 THE PUPPET-SHEW. 
 
 X be wondrous pageants of an humble train^ 
 A tiny race, and nation Toid of brain, 
 I sing. No heav'nly spark inflam'd their hearts; 
 Their framer guiltless of Promethean arts. 
 
 Where the hoarse drum, and motley droll in- 
 vite 
 The gaping mob, with foretaste of delight. 
 Where jests are dealt to please the long-ear'd crc w^ 
 As old as Miller's, and as C-^ — t — y's new. 
 
 Admiranda cano levium spectacula rerum, 
 Exiguam gentem, et vacuum sine mente pope!- 
 
 lum ; 
 Quem, nonsurreptis cxli de fornice ftammis, 
 Inoccua melior fabricaverat arte Prometheus. 
 Compita qua risu fervent, glomeratque tumul' 
 turn 
 Histrio, delcctatque inhiantem scommatc turbam, 
 
 ■ 
 
858 THE PUPPET-SHEW. 
 
 Led by the love of sights, or love of fun, 
 To pit and gallery the audience' run. 
 Not equal benches hold the staring rows, 
 But peerage-like, the fees their worth disclose; 
 At length, the figur'd curtain rolls away ; 
 Full on the narrow stage the tapers play. 
 Where crossing wires deceive the curious eye, 
 That else too plain the homely fraud would ^py. 
 And now the actors croud, in squeaking droves. 
 By painted domes, and Lilliputian groves ; 
 'Mid scanty scenes, like us they sport or jar, 
 In narrow passes forms th' embattled war j 
 Our pomps, our cares contracted to a span. 
 The little mimics play gigantic man< 
 
 Quotquot Iztitise studio aut novitate tenentur, 
 Undique congressi permissa sedilia complent. 
 Nee confusus honos ; nummo subsellia cedunt 
 Diverse, et varii ad pretium stat copia scamni. 
 Tandem ubi subtrahitur velamen, lumina passim 
 Angustos penetrant aditus, qua plurima visum 
 Fila secant, ne cum vacuo datur ore fenestra, 
 Pcrvia fraus paieat : mox stridula turba penates 
 Jngreditur pictos, et msenia squalida fuco. 
 Hie humiles inter scenas, angustaque claustra, 
 Quicquid agunt homines, concursus, bella, triw 
 umphos. 
 
THE PUPPET-SHEW. 259 
 
 But o'er the rest see Punchinello rise, 
 Of hoarser accent, and tremendous size ! 
 An ample clasp his jerkin's round confines, 
 His well-taught eye with vivid motion shines ; 
 Far-stretch'd before his jutting paunch appears^ 
 His lofty back o'erwhelms his humbled ears : 
 Not with more terror to each sweeping gown 
 Thro' country-dances plods thelab'ring clown, 
 Than the small heroes, thro' the parted sheet,! 
 See his broad paunch precede hisdistanc'd feet. 
 Proud of his bulk, and " huge two-handed sway,'* 
 He reigns, the tyrant of the puppet-play. 
 Gibes his poor wooden slaves in wanton fit, 
 "And shakes the clumsy bench with" antic ".wit." 
 
 Ludit in exiguo plebecula parva theatre. 
 
 Sed praeter reliquos incedit Homumcio rauca 
 Voce strepens, major subnectit fibula vestem, 
 £t referunt vivos errantia lumina motus ; 
 In ventrem tumet immodicum ; pone eminet 
 
 ingens 
 A tergo gibbus ; Pygmseum terrltat agmen 
 Major, et immanem miratur turba gigantem. 
 Hie magna fretus mole, imparibusque lacertis 
 Confisus, gracili jactat convitia vulgo, 
 Et crebro solvit, lepidum caput, ora cachinno^ 
 
S60 THE PUPPET-SHEW. 
 
 When courtly lords and shining dames are seen 
 Round beauteous Grisild' or St. George's Queesi 
 His saucy laugh disturbs the solemn place. 
 And the room echoes to his pert grimace. 
 Or wilder still, his lawless (lame invades 
 The modest beauties of the varnish'd maids ; 
 The varnish'd maids with disapproving hiss. 
 And coy reluctance, shun the saucy kiss. 
 
 But undisturb'd the meaner forms advance. 
 And ply their little limbs in busy dance. 
 
 And oft with glitt'ring paste and tinsel gay, 
 The wooden race their birth-day robes display; 
 In marshall'd order trip the ladies bright. 
 And lordlings sparkle on the vulgar sight. 
 While the small people, joining in the press, 
 R.evive the dream of Pygmy-happiness s 
 
 Quanquam res agitur solenni seria pompa, 
 Spernit sollicitum intractabilis ille tumultum, 
 Et risu importunus adest, atque omnia turbat. 
 Nee raro invadit moUes, pictamque protervo 
 Ore petit Nympham, invitoque dat oscula lignor 
 
 Scd comitum vulgus diversis membra fatigant 
 I.udis, et vario lascivit mobile saltu. 
 
 Sxpe etiam gcmmis rutila, et spectabilis auro, 
 Lignea gens prodit, nitidisque superbit in ostriSr 
 
THE PUPPET-SHEW. 
 
 261 
 
 As if the warlike dwarfs, relax'd from toils, 
 In knightly glories rich, and feather'd spoils, 
 Had quench'd in gentle ease, and soothing strains, 
 The airy terrors of the hostile cranes. 
 
 So when the stars their middle station keep. 
 The sportive Faries o'er the greensward sweep ; 
 In merry round they print the narrow ring, 
 And wave the yielding grass with nimble spring, 
 Whence kindly juices the glad soil bedew. 
 And the rich circle shoots with darker hue. 
 
 But sudden clouds the happy scene o'ercast, 
 Wars, horrid wars resound their dreadful blast. 
 
 Nam, quoties festam celebrat sub imagine lucem, 
 Ordtnc composito Nympharum incedit honestum 
 Agmen, et exigui proceres, parvique Quirites. 
 Pygmaeos credas positis mitescere bellis, 
 Jamque infensa Gruum temnentes praelia, tutos 
 Indulgere jocis, tenerisque vacare choreis. 
 Tales, cum medio labuntur sideracsclo, 
 Parvi subsiliunt Lemures, populusquc pusillus 
 Festivos, rediens sua per vestigia, gyros 
 Ducit, et angustum crebro pede pulsitat orbem. 
 Mane patent gressus ; hinc succos terra feraces 
 Concipit, in multam pubentia gramina surgunt 
 I«uxuriem, tenerisque vircscit circulus herbis. 
 
96a THE PUPPET-SHEW. 
 
 Their hasty arms the wooden w.iiors seize. 
 And desp'rate combat interiupts their ease. 
 So short our pleasures: thus our bliss withstpodl 
 Sodash'd with care is ev'ry mortal good! 
 
 Now front to front the dazzling lines appear,- 
 Raise the thin sword, or point the taper spear; 
 With martial port they meditate the blow. 
 And Icvell'd-muskets threat' the darin|( foe. 
 Hark ! the smart crackers spit their fiery breath, 
 Hi^s, bounce, and thunder in the field of death. 
 Thro' ev'ry arch the mingled bursts resound ; 
 Thick-falling warriors strew th' unhappy ground,- 
 
 Sometimes the sad detail of civil rage 
 Lifts to sublimer aim the pygmy-stage. 
 From Bunker's Hill now flaming rosin darts. 
 Now dreadful Howe appals the Yankey -hearts; 
 Here Burgoyne, forc'd to yield, forbid to fly, 
 A welUdissembled Puppet ! seems to sigh. 
 
 At non tranquillas nulla abdunt nubilalucet, 
 
 S:epegravi surgunt bella, horrida bella tumultu. 
 
 Arma ciet truculenta cohors, placidamque quie< 
 tem 
 
 Dirumpunt pugnx; usque adeoinsincera volupta* 
 
 Omnibus, et mista: castigant gaudia curae. 
 
 Jamgladii, tubulique ingestosulphure fceti. 
 
THE PUPPET-SHEW. 263 
 
 A little Caipe shoots resistless fires, 
 On Barnwell's gibbet Andre's form expires; 
 Or Rodney's thunder sends the Gallic foe 
 Thro' canvas billows, to the depths below. 
 
 Inventive Foote produc'd, his wit to skreen, 
 Socratic puppets, and th' ambiguous scene ; 
 Hence chasten'd love and humble faith inspire 
 The patten'd beauty, and the gen'rous 'Squire. 
 Great lord of irony ! he sway'd the age. 
 The peerless Plato of the puppet-stage. 
 
 Next, meagre France, who could afford no more 
 Substantial forms to grace a rival shore, 
 Sarcastic, taught in airy space to flit 
 Her Eastern shades, with empty Sounds of wit. 
 Lo! half-conceal'd the dext'rous puppet plays. 
 Beneath the artful veil's indulgent blaze ; 
 In flippant French the restless figures jar. 
 And foreign sounds perplex the list'ning tar; 
 But soon th' imperfect forms disgust the eye, 
 
 Protensapque hastae, fulgentiaque arma, minaeque 
 Telorum ingentes subeunt ; dant daustra fragorem 
 Horrendum, ruptac stridente bitumine charts 
 Confuses reddunt crepitus, et sibila miscent. 
 Stemitur omne solum pereuntibui ; undique ca:sx 
 /VppareDt turmae, civilis crimina belli. 
 
964 THE PUPPET-SHEW. 
 
 Darkling they come, and unregretted fly: 
 
 60 when the wand'ring chief the ghosts survey'd* 
 
 That " squeak and gibber" in th* infernal shade, 
 
 His wonder past, he view'd with careless ease 
 
 Forms impotent alike to hurt or please. 
 
 Then high the gen'rous emulation ran, 
 
 Th' ennobled puppet tow'ring into man. 
 
 Fair in the Strand the pleasing stage was found. 
 
 With lovely art, and happy graces crown'd. 
 
 There Shakespeare's wit in wooden gesture shone. 
 
 There J — p — n's, blest, to please the eye alone 1 
 
 With rapid step a nobler band succeeds. 
 The Fantoccini, known by deathless deeds; 
 Scarce man himself their promptness can surpass 
 To trim the taper, or present the glass. 
 
 Behold Novcrre the mimic art restore ! 
 Medea raves and Phxdra weeps no more. 
 Here sense and shew decide their long dispute. 
 For man turns puppet, and the stage is mute. 
 Ungraceful Hamlets, aukward Romeos fly ! 
 )L>et Mother Goose* more worthy themes sup> 
 ply. 
 
 • This passage might very well have been writ? 
 ten at the time when the poem is dated ; for the 
 entertainment of Selima and Azor was taken from 
 the story of Beauty and the Beast, in Mother 
 Goose's Tales. The stage is now farther indebt; 
 cd to that learned author. 
 
THE PUPPET-SHEW. 265 
 
 On the vast stage, o'er many an acre spread, 
 Be lowing herds and num'rous squadrons led ; 
 While Blus Beard fierce the fatal key demands, 
 Or Puss IN Boots acquires the Ocre's lands; 
 Or fair Rcd Rioikc-Hooo, in luckless hour, 
 A helpless victim falls to fraud and pow'r. 
 Proceed, great days! till poetry expire, 
 Till Congreve pall us, and till Shakespeare tire ; 
 Till ev'ry tongue its useless art let fall, 
 And moping Silence roost in Rufus' hall ; 
 Till nimble preachers foot the moral dance. 
 Till cap'ring envoys check the pow'r of France, 
 And full St. Stephen's see, with mute surprise. 
 The Opposition sink, and Preniier rise. 
 
 But oh! what God inspires my boding mind 
 To paint the glimm'ring prospect yet behind ! 
 I see in gesture ev'ry wish exprest. 
 Each art, each science quit the lighten'd breast : 
 No wand'ring eyes the distant heav'ns explore, 
 On two legs tott'ring, man descends to four. 
 Then, great Monboddo, proves thy system true ; 
 Again in caves shall herd the naked crew ; 
 Again the happy savages shall trail 
 (A long-lost gift !) the graceful length of tail: 
 In that blest moment, by indulgent heav'n. 
 Thy wish, Rousseau, and Swift's revenge are 
 given. 
 Now,whence the puppet's various functions came 
 The muse shall teach, and make instruction /a^le, 
 
266 THE rvttiT-iHtvrs' 
 
 The workmen first the lumb'ring logs inform, 
 
 And chip, and torture into human form ; 
 
 Next string the limbs, and clasp the joints with 
 
 art. 
 
 Add piece to piece, and answ 'ring part to part ; 
 Then wheeling pullies join, and flowing cords, 
 Whose secret influence guides the wooden lords. 
 And now the nice machine completed stands, 
 And bears the skilful print of master-bands; 
 Seems in its new creation to rejoice, 
 Th' imparted motions and the grafted voice ; 
 As justly turning to the ruling springs 
 As votes to ministers, or hearts to kings. 
 
 Kunc tamen unde genus ducat, quae dextnt Ia> 
 
 tentes 
 Suppeditet vires, quern poscatturba moventem, 
 Expediam. Truncos opifex et inutile lignum 
 Cogit in humanas species, et robore natam 
 Progeniem tclo efformat, nexuque tenaci 
 Crura ligat pedibus, humerisque accommodat ar> 
 
 mos, 
 £t membris membra aptat, et artubus insuit artus. 
 Tunc habiles addit trochleas, quibus arte pusillum 
 Versat onus, molique manu famulatus inerti 
 SuScit occultos motus, voccmque ministrat. 
 
THE PUPPIT-SHKW. 267 
 
 Hence, leam'd Casaux,* thy earnest thoughts 
 began 
 To trace the jointed frame of polish'd man. 
 In some low booth, that on the rampart lies, 
 To catch in heedless throngs Parisian flies, 
 Where the wise Hebrew shone in tinsel-light, 
 Or Europe's princes charm'd thy tender sight. 
 Thy soul divin'd, for such the will of fate. 
 The shifting puppet-shew of pow'r and state. 
 Poets tliemselves in puppet-motions sport. 
 And steal sweet voices from ih' Aonian court ; 
 Transporting sounds ! that pass, with struggling 
 
 pain. 
 Our narrow organs in a ruder strain. 
 See, classic Addison with ease combines 
 Virgilian accents in his sportive lines : 
 But mine, weak offspring of a languid age. 
 Love the low roof, and haunt the humble stage-^ 
 Congenial themes the mimic muse requires, 
 And on mean altars lights her scanty fires. 
 
 His structa auxiliis jam machina tota peritos 
 Ostendit sulcos, duri et vestigia ferri : 
 Hinc salit, atque agili se sublevat incita motu, 
 Vocesque emittit tenues, et non sua verba. 
 
 * Author of the Mechanism of Society, 
 
OF GENIUS. 
 
From haunted spring and dale, 
 Edg'd with.poplar pale. 
 The parting Genius is with sighing sent. 
 
271 
 
 OF GENIUS. 
 
 It is useful to observe the effect of our 
 early reading, in perpetuating false impres- 
 .sions, even among those who boast an 
 ^mancipation from all prejudices of educa- 
 tion. Hume's classical knowledge was too 
 strong for his scepticism ; for in one of his 
 essays he supposes it probable, that such a 
 scheme as that of the ancient mythology may 
 have been carried into effect, at some pe- 
 riod, in some part of the solar system, 
 Camoens makes the Virgin Mary intercede 
 with Jupiter, when the Portuguese are in 
 danger, and seems as much attached to one 
 religion as to the other. Vossius, of whom 
 Charles ii. used to say, that he believed 
 every Uiing but the Bible, was another in- 
 
fjZ OP CENIUS. 
 
 Stance of the ease with which men suffer the 
 grossest impostures to gain upon them, when 
 they are unhappily recommended by elegance 
 and wit.* I am apt to imagine, that the 
 extravagancies of the ancient poets, engrav- 
 ed on our minds by the rdd, and too par- 
 tially entertained by our rehsh of the more 
 sober beauties of those authors, have some- 
 times deceived us in our estimate of hu- 
 man faculties, and have supported, unper- 
 ceived, something of literary superstition and 
 metaphysical mysticism, even to the present 
 time. When we speak of a man who has 
 made any considerable discovery in science 
 or art, who has painted a good picture, writ- 
 ten a fine poem, or a very good novel, wc 
 
 • It is said, that when Vossius, who was a 
 canon of Windsor, lay on his death-bed, the Dean 
 came to persuade him to receive the sacrament. 
 Vossius rejected the proposal with indignity : af- 
 ter some altercation, the Dean gravely said ; " Mr. 
 X'ossius, if you will not receive it for the love of 
 God, take it, at least, for the honour of the chap- 
 ter." 
 
OP CENIUS. 273 
 
 call him a man of genius, without under- 
 standing our own meaning. Books have 
 been written, indeed, to explain the word 
 genius, but speakers and readers have con- 
 tinued to doubt; for authors have agreed 
 in the same error, of considering genius as 
 a. distinct power of the mind, while in realit)', 
 k originally denoted something totally inde- 
 pendent of iL 
 
 I know not whether weakness or pride 
 contributed more to those delusions, which 
 appropriated a divinity to preside over the 
 most usual, . and the least dignified of our 
 natural functions, but if the ancients sup- 
 posed themselves to be supematurally as- 
 sisted on such occasions, it is not won- 
 derful that they should lay claim to superior 
 protection, in the bright and enviable mo- 
 ments of literary success. They believed, 
 that every man was under the direction 
 of one of the smaller deities, or aerial das- 
 mons; a sort of valets to the superior 
 gods,* and according to Seneca, tutors 
 
 • Apuleius dc Deo Socratls. i^uxdam di- 
 
 T 
 
274 Of CENItJS. 
 
 of men; like the usual arrangement' iit 
 families of distinction upon earth. Se* 
 pone in prsesentia quae quibusdam placent : 
 unicuique nostrum pzdagogum dari Deum, 
 non quidem ordinarium, sed hunc inferioris 
 notse, ex eorum numero quos Ovidius ait 
 de plebe deos* 
 
 These obsequious inhabitants of the air^ 
 who at their leisure-hours chased swallows 
 and crows, obtained the general 'name of 
 genius. And some eminent men, in their 
 iitrabilious moments, have fancied that they 
 discerned the presence of such attendants. 
 It would appear, however, that Socrates 
 and the Platonists, confined the influence of 
 the genius chiefly to presages, and directions 
 In religious ceremonies. The poets thought 
 
 vinz medix potestates, inter sunimum aethen «t 
 infimas terras, ••»•••••• inter terricolas caslico- 
 
 lasque vectores, hinc precuni, inde donorum *•** 
 Horum enim munus et opera atque cura est,ut An. 
 nibali somnia orbitatem oculi comminarentur, Fla- 
 minio extispicia periculutn cladis prasdicant, &c. 
 * Senec. Epist. ex. 
 
OF GENIUS. ^75 
 
 tliemselves of sufficient importance to de' 
 serve a separate establishment, and made 
 their genii stationary on Parnassus. But 
 after the introductioh of Christianity, when 
 the learned embarrassed themselves, by re> 
 taining the Platonic doctrine of daemons, to 
 grace their systems of magic, the genius 
 was not only considered as a supernatural 
 attendant, but as a being possessed of most 
 extensive knowledge, which he was dispos- 
 ed to communicate on certain considera- 
 tions. Marinus, a biographer of Proclus, 
 has asserted that Rufinus, a man of conse- 
 quence, and no doubt a very able statesman, 
 observed one day the head of Proclus sur- 
 rounded with rays (such as we denominate a 
 ^ory) while he was teaching; " ut divino 
 signo," says Brucker, « qualis in hoc cor- 
 pore daemon lateret, omnes intelligerent.* 
 Non puduit itaque Marinum, vitx hujus 
 Comptlatorem, divinx inspirationis (dfta;; 
 CTiTvota;) participem eum fuisse, asserere, 
 
 * Hilt. Critic. Pbilosph. torn. ii. p. 333. 
 
276 OF GENIUS. 
 
 et vultum oculosque ac ora divinos radios 
 sparsisse mentiri." Proclus affected to be- 
 lieve, that he was assisted in the composition 
 of his works by the g6ddess Cybele. Hence 
 the visionary hopes of forming a commerce 
 with angelic existences, which dissipated the 
 hours of many ardent scholars. The Para- 
 celsian and Rosicrucian follies, and the most 
 sincere part of Alchemy, as well, perhaps, as 
 some late sects, derive their origin from this 
 mixed and doubtful source. 
 
 This wild conjunction of mythology and 
 magic formed a spell, not easily to be broken. 
 An undefined veneration was attached to 
 the term genius, which became more power- 
 ful as it was less understood. The influence 
 of classical imagery, and its perpetual recur- 
 rence to inspiration, supported an impres- 
 sion, which, like the terror of nocturnal il- 
 lusions, though disclaimed in public, and no 
 longer existing as a system, still haunts the 
 hours of silence and solitude. Poets, at all 
 times the most incorrigible of the literary 
 tribe, still dream of impulse, and mistake 
 
OF CENIUS. 277 
 
 their own idleness for the frown of Minerva. 
 Morhoff, one of those singular characters, 
 who acquire the belief of common errors, 
 by extensive reading and profound medita- 
 tion, was so struck with this impression, that 
 he wrote a whole chapter, dc eo, quod in di- 
 fiplinis divinum est. He has indeed faintly 
 rejected the syncretistic follies of the former 
 age, but he perhaps allowed inspiration 
 rather too largely, when he granted it to 
 an Italian improvisatore, and to Valentine 
 Greatrak.* 
 
 The concluding lines of Buchannan's ad- 
 dress to Mary Queen of Scots, which have 
 been reckoned so obscure, may be easily 
 explained by this vjew of the former accep- 
 tation of genius. 
 
 Non tamen ausus cram male natum exponere fac- 
 tum, 
 Ne mibi displiceant quae placuere tibi. 
 Nam qucd ab ingenio domini sperare nequibant, 
 Pebebunt genio forsitan ilia tuo. 
 
 * Folyhistor. Literar. Iib> it cap, xii. § 13. 2Q. 
 
07^ OF genius; 
 
 The feebleness of the poet's verses (as his 
 modesty led him to speak), was to be pro- 
 tected by the genius of the Queen, which, 
 by the courtesy of the age, was deemed of 
 superior rank and power to the genius of a 
 private person. I cannot suspect so excellent 
 a poet as Buchannan, of any intentional play 
 on the words ingenium and genius. In the 
 Ajax Mastigophorus, Sophocles ascribes the 
 hero's execrations to his evil genius, whp 
 alone, he says, could have invented them. 
 
 Lord Verulam had many strange fancies, 
 about the genius attendant on great minds ; 
 he sublimed his notions on this subject with 
 Van Helmont's doctrine of transmitted spi- 
 rits, which referred all eminence in military 
 and civil affairs, as well as in wjt, to the 
 force of perspiration. 
 
 The genii were sometimes supposed to be 
 the spirits of departed men, especially those 
 which were thought to revisit the places pf 
 
OF GENIUS. 279 
 
 their former residence, or the scenes of their 
 destruction: hence that passage in Milton; 
 
 Henceforth thou art the genius of the shore. 
 In thy large recompense, and shak be good 
 To all that wander in the perilous flood.* 
 
 With all this contagious mysticism float- 
 ing from brain to brain, it is not to be won- 
 dered, that poets should be presumptuous 
 and idle, or that readers should be slavishly 
 timid. The votary of poetical frenzy fan- 
 cied himself entering the temple of Apollo, 
 and invested with the sacred characters of a 
 priest and a prophet, when he " poured forth 
 his unpremeditated verse," while the multi. 
 tude, combining the most distant analogies, 
 believed that in the writings of eminent 
 poets, they discovered predictions, in which 
 the author hjmself had been unconsciously 
 prompted by his genius. 
 
 It was not enough to admire Virgil as 
 a great Poetj his votaries were determin- 
 ed to venerate him as a prophet, and al- 
 
 * Ly;ida$, 
 
28o 
 
 OF GENIUS. 
 
 most as a god. While altars were erected, 
 and incense was burnt to him, by some 
 of the first restorers of letters, the credu- 
 lous explored their destinies in his pages, 
 by the aid of false translation, and distorted 
 inference. It is well known, that Charles i. 
 was greatly disconcerted and distressed, on 
 finding the Sortcs Virgilianae unfavourable, 
 at the beginning of the civil war. With the 
 liberties of application allowed in these 
 cases, it is easy to find a prophecy of any 
 event, after it has taken place. If, for in- 
 stance, a prediction is wanted of the calami- 
 ties occasioned by the Pragmatic Sanction, 
 it is ready in Juvenal; 
 
 Inde cadunt partes, ex foederc Pragmaticonim. 
 
 In this manner, the celebrated prophecies of 
 Nostradamus have acquired the protection, 
 even of the learned. MorhofF dwells with 
 great satisfaction, on the number of import- 
 ant events predicted by this man, who wrote 
 his rhapsodies in 1555. One of his rhimes 
 was supposed to be accomplished sixteen 
 
OF GENIUS. sSl 
 
 years afterwards, by the massacre of St. Bar- 
 tholomew; 
 
 En grande cito, qui n' a pain qu' a demy, 
 Encore un couple St. Barthelemy. 
 
 But unluckily, in another quatrain, he 
 foretold that in 1707, the Turks would con- 
 quer the northern parts of Europe, not 
 foreseeing Prince Eugene. The couplet I 
 have quoted, might, with the usual latitude of 
 appropriating predictions, be applied to later 
 occurrences, as some degree of similarity in 
 the course of human affairs must often re- 
 cur, when miracles are out of the question. 
 But to shew how easily the rank of prophet 
 may be thus obtained, I shall quote a pas- 
 sage from Camerarius's Horx Subcisivz, 
 my edition of which was published one 
 hundred and thirty-six years ago, which 
 bears more minute characters of resemblance 
 to recent events, than any thing I have met 
 with; — " Ne exempla tam longe petamus 
 quid obsecro non perpessi sunt homines 
 miseri nuper in carniBcinis Gallicis, prxser- 
 
282 OF GENIUS. 
 
 tim Lutetiana? Quid enim vulgus, veluti 
 ludos agcret, quibus humanus sanguis ef- 
 funderetur, s^evitiae, crudelitatis, libidlnis, 
 turpitudinisj ignominiae, tam in eos qui neci 
 destinati erant, quam in alios qui pro in- 
 noxiis habebantur, et quidam non solum 
 erga vivos, sed erga mortuos etiam, non 
 habita rations aetatis, dignitatis, conditionis, 
 aut sexus, omisit ? 
 
 We can more easily pardon this tribute 
 to those works, which are the pride and de- 
 light of all ages, when we consider the signs 
 and conditions annexed to the character of 
 a prophet, during the prevalence of the hea- 
 then mythology, and tacitly acknowledged 
 by those who pay attention to the ravings of 
 Brothers, or the Cheshire boy, among our- 
 selves. When frenzy and imposture us» 
 urp the regard, which is only due to the 
 oracles of truth, it becomes interesting to 
 know the source of a delusion, capable of ex- 
 isting among any class of men, in ages which 
 boast the possession of true religion. The 
 state of mind in which men were anciently 
 
ON GENIUS. 283 
 
 supposed to acquire a knowledge of futu- 
 rity, was formed by dreaming, drunkenness, 
 madness, epilepsy, or the approach of death. 
 In one word, delirium was the characteristic 
 of a prophet: we cannot be at a loss for that 
 of his admirers. 
 
 The Platonic philosophers of the eclectic 
 class, thought that predictions were commu- 
 nicated during sleep, or immediately on 
 awaking, by low voices.* This is now a 
 very prevalent vulgar error, though un- 
 doubtly of Platonic descent. In the ecsta- 
 sy, which may be considered as a morbid 
 state, a number of objects is obtruded on 
 the prophet's senses, from which he can sel- 
 dom form any conjecture. Such was the cele- 
 brated vision of Arise Evans,t in which he 
 saw the restoration and succession of mon- 
 archy in thij country delineated in the palm 
 of his hand, without being able to deduce 
 more from it, than that after four reigns 
 
 * Brucker. torn, ii; p. 444. 
 f Appendix to the first volume of Jortin's Re« 
 suj-kt on Ecclesiastical History. 
 
^84 or CENius. 
 
 there would be a change of blood.* In all 
 these operations the genius acts; the prophet 
 is passive, and generally ignorant. 
 
 It appears not improbable, that an in- 
 toxicating potion was given to the Pythia, 
 by way of ensuring the strength of her ec- 
 fitasy.t There seems to have been some tra- 
 
 • I have in my possession a small tract by this 
 inan, written in 1656, to prove that Charles 11. 
 was the Messiah, destined to restore the Jews, 
 in Nvhich is a prediction still more circum- 
 Ctantial and remarkable ; " But I say, he that 
 lives five years to an end, shall see King Charles 
 Stuart flourish on his throne, to the amaze- 
 ment of all the world, for God will bring 
 him in without bloodshed." Light to the 
 Jews, p. 5. But mark the juggling of this fel- 
 low. This egregious prophecy, though said to 
 be printed in 1656 on the second title-page, was 
 'n reality, only published in 1664, four years after 
 theevent. In this instance, therefore, he was clear- 
 ly guilty of imposture. Prophecies, at that time, 
 were party-matters. Evans prophesied for the 
 Royalists ; Lilly, a more successful knave, for the 
 republicans. 
 
 + The Pylhia always drank, before she place4 
 herself on the Tripod. 
 
OF CENIUS. 285 
 
 ditionary knowledge handed down on this 
 subject, for in Dr. Harsnett, Archbishop 
 of York's Discovery of Popish Impostures, 
 the girls who were exorcised had delirium 
 excited, by nauseous potions and fumiga- 
 tions. 
 
 Delirious exclamations, in certain diseases, 
 have been received as indications of future 
 events; hence it has become necessary for 
 those who aspired to the character of pro- 
 phets, to make the multitude believe them 
 to be afflicted with those diseases.* Lucian's 
 Alexander learnt the art of frothing at the 
 mouth, and the mob, as Lucian tells us, held 
 his froth to be sacred. Epileptic complaints 
 have certainly been familiar to men of great 
 talents: Caesar, Peter i., and several others 
 of distinguished merit, were subject to cpi- 
 
 * Even philosophers, of the mystic class, have 
 thought the imputation of madness an addition to 
 their fame. " Porphyrius **♦ sc secieto multa 
 mysterio ex divino alBatu interdum disseruisse, 
 ideoque pro fURENTE habitum fuisse jactat." 
 Bruckcr. Hist. Crit. Fhilos. torn. ii. p. 245, 
 
fi86 OF GLSIVS. 
 
 lepsy. But it cannot be supposed that they 
 were iipproved by the disease. 
 
 It is an unhappy circumstance, that phi- 
 losophy has sometimes strengthened, instead 
 of correcting vulgar prejudices. Plato's fol- 
 lowers, by their description * of the tvflsyt- 
 ao-fi®^, constituted madness a sign of in- 
 spiration. To the misfortune of mankind, 
 the ravings of lunatics have often been more 
 regarded than the arguments of wise men; 
 but such a preference ought not to have 
 been sanctioned by philosophers. This 
 must surely have been one of the exoteric 
 doctrines, calculated only for the porters 
 and fishwomen of Athens. No doubt, the 
 same causes which, in a strong degree, pro- 
 duce madness, may in a lower ehcrease 
 the natural powers of the mind. Car- 
 dan, and a melancholy list of illustrious 
 names, appear, in some parts of their writ- 
 ings, as mad as the author of Hultothrumbo, 
 while in others they discover an extraordina- 
 
 * Brucker. Hist. Crit. Philos. t. ii. p. 445, 
 
Ot GENIUS. 287 
 
 ty acuteness and sagacity. The popular 
 prophets of this country, were all really or 
 affectedly mad. They are now little read 
 or respected; but they were formerly pow- 
 erful en^nes of faction, and became the 
 objects of repeated acts of the legislature. 
 Les reveSi as Voltaire says of Plato, donnoient 
 alori de grande reputation. 
 The courteous demons of antiquity have 
 vanished, but they have left a kind of magic 
 splendor over the heads of men of talents, 
 which the herd of metaphysicians has beheld 
 with awe. If a person of unassisted good 
 sense were to enquire, what constitutes a 
 man of genius, he would discover it to be a 
 vigorous and successful exertion of the 
 mind, on some particular subject, or a ge- 
 neral alacrity and facility of intellectual la- 
 bour. In a word, that genius consists in the 
 power of doing best, what many endeavour 
 to do well. 
 
 In the best treatises on this subject, there 
 has been much of a fallacious method, 
 which imposes equally on the author and the 
 
288 OF CENIU«. 
 
 reader; I mean, a prolix description of &cts, 
 substituted for a theoiy of their causes. Un- 
 doubtedly this kind of writing would be usc- 
 iul, if it were appreciated at its just value; 
 but its facility, and its pretensions create pre- 
 judices against the more slow and difficult 
 method of induction. Molicre has charac- 
 terized this false philosophy bv a single 
 stroke: " Quarc fecit opium dormire? — 
 Quia est in eo virtus donniti\'a." Behold 
 the fruit of many a huge and thorny meta- 
 physical quarto! 
 
DIALOGUE IN THE SHADES. 
 
291 
 
 DIALOGUE IN THE SHADES. 
 
 LUCIAN. NEODID ACTUS. 
 
 Lucian. 
 
 Y ou appear very melancholy, for a phi- 
 losopher of the new stoical sect. Do you 
 regret the glory, which you doubtless enjoy- 
 ed in the other world? Or do you dislike 
 the grim equality of the stalking skeletons 
 which surround you? We cannot boast, 
 indeed, of our gaiety, but we have tranquil- 
 lity, which to a philosopher is much better. 
 We enjoy our exemption from the pertur- 
 bations of life, as the wearied mariner re- 
 poses in the still gloom, succeeding a mighty 
 tempest. 
 
S99 sialocue in 
 
 Neodidactus. 
 Enjoy yourselves as you will; I am tor- 
 mented by anxiety jind doubt. By pro- 
 fessing the doctrines of the new and pure 
 philosophy upon earth, my character was 
 ruined, and I was abandoned by society. 
 Here, I find no one disposed to investigate 
 my principles, excepting yourself, who, I 
 suppose, intend to laugh at me, according 
 to your custom. I had learned, indeed, 
 from our master, that " the wise man is sa- 
 tisfied with nothing:" that " he is not satis- 
 fied with his own attainments, or even with 
 his principles and opinions:"* but I feel 
 that mine have produced the extremity of 
 wretchedness. 
 
 Lucian. 
 You must then be extremely wise, on 
 your own principles. But be not dejected. 
 The world, I perceive, preserves its old 
 
 * Godwin's Enquiry concerning Political Jus- 
 lice, voli i. p. 268. 2d edition. 
 
¥H£ shades; 393 
 
 character: mankind have seldom troubled 
 their benefactors with expressions of grati- 
 tude. 
 
 Neodidactus. 
 
 I beg that you may never again mention 
 so disagreeable a word to me. Gratitude, 
 according to the new philosophy, " is no 
 part either of justice or virtue;"* nay we 
 hold it to be actually a vice,t when it re- 
 sults merely from our sense of benefits con- 
 ferred on us. 
 
 Lucian. 
 
 By the Graces ! this is very strange phi- 
 losophy. In teaching men to be ungrate- 
 ful, do you not render them wicked? 
 
 Neodidactus. 
 We do not embarrass ourselves much 
 vith the distinctions of virtue and vice; the 
 motives and the tendencies of human ac- 
 tions are so comple:(, and their results so 
 
 * Enquiry concerning Political Justice, vol, i, 
 p. 130. 
 
 t Ibid. p. 966* 
 
294 DIALOGUE IK 
 
 uncertain, that we find it difficult to assign 
 them places under those designations. We 
 even doubt whether there be any such thing 
 as vice. . 
 
 Lucian. 
 You puzzle me: let me beg that you 
 would explain yourself a little more clearly; 
 unless your philosophy enjoins you to be 
 obscure, 
 
 Neodidactus. 
 I will explain myself most gladly. Know 
 then, that " vice, as it is commonly under- 
 stood, is, so far as regards the motive, pure- 
 ly negative,"* and that " actions in the 
 highest degree injurious to the public have 
 often proceeded from motives uncommonly 
 conscientious. The most determined poli- 
 tical assassins, Clement, Ravaillac, Damiens, 
 and Gerard, seem to have been deeply pe- 
 netrated with anxiety for the eternal wcIt 
 fare of mankind."* Our sublime contem- 
 plations lead us also to believe, that " bene- 
 
 • Enquiiy, vol. i. p. J53, I54, 
 
THE SHADES. 295 
 
 volence probably had its part in lighting the 
 fires of Smithfield, and pointing the daggers 
 of St. Bartholomew."* 
 
 Lucian. 
 If I rightly understand you, murder and 
 |iersecution are justifiable on the principles 
 of the i^evif philosophy. 
 
 Neodidactus. 
 
 Our only rule is the promotion of gene- 
 ral good, by strict, impartial justice; what- 
 ever inconyeniepces may arise to indivi- 
 duals from this system, wg disregard them, 
 and as we allow no merit to actions which 
 respect the good of individuals only, so we 
 perceive no demerit in those which benefit 
 the public, though they may considerably 
 injure individuals. Justice, eternal justice 
 must prevail. 
 
 ZMcian. 
 
 But how shall this over-ruling justice be 
 
 9 Enquiry, vol. i. p. 153, 154. 
 
^9^ DIALOGUE IN 
 
 ascertained, or limited? If every man is to 
 decide for himself and the world, confusioo, 
 and universal ruin must ensue. 
 
 Neodidactui.. 
 You speak, O Lucian, of man in his pre- 
 sent state; but we regard him in the state of 
 perfection, to which he may attain by in- 
 struction and experience. We hope the 
 time will arrive, when neither government 
 nor laws will be necessary to the .existence 
 of society; for morality is nothing but the 
 calculation of the probable advantages, or 
 disadvantages of our actions. 
 
 Lucian. 
 By what means, then, shall those be cor- 
 rected, who may err in their calculations re- 
 specting the public good, and eternal justice? 
 For I suppose, you can hardly expect that 
 all men will reason with equal acuteness, in 
 the most enlightened periods. 
 
THE SHADES. t^J 
 
 Neodidactus. 
 By persuasion; the only* allowable me* 
 thod of supressing human errors. The 
 establishment of positive laws is an insult to 
 the dignity of man ;t so greatly do we detest 
 their influence, that we consider an honest 
 lawyer as a worse member of society than 
 a dishonest one,;{| because the man of in- 
 tegrity palliates, and in some degree masks 
 the ill effects of law. 
 
 Lucian. 
 This part of your philosophy is not so 
 new as you imagine. All punishments, 
 then, would be banished from your republic, 
 excepting the long discourses, to which you 
 would oblige criminals to listen. 
 
 Neodidactus. 
 Punishment is nothing else than force,{l 
 
 * Enquiry, vol. i. p. t8o. 
 f Vol. ii. p. 399, 400. 
 X Vol. ii. p. 399. 
 II Vol. i. p. 181. 
 
SgS 0{ALDCU£ IN 
 
 and he who suffers it must be debased, and 
 insensible of the difference between right 
 and wrong, if he does not consider it as un- 
 just.* " I have deeply reflected, suppose, 
 upon the nature of virtue, and am convinc- 
 ed that a certain proceeding is incumbent 
 on me. But the hangman, supported by an 
 act of parliament, assures me that I am mis- 
 taken."t Can any thing be more atrocious? 
 more injurious to our sublime speculations p 
 
 Lucian. 
 Doubtless, philosophers of your sect must 
 sometimes be thus disagreeably interrupted, 
 in their progress to perfection. But in a 
 society without laws, without the fear of 
 punishment for offences, without the distinc- 
 tions of virtue and vice, and destitute of the 
 ties of gratitude and friendship, I feel it dif- 
 ficult to conceive, how the transaaions ne- 
 cessary to existence can be carried on. You 
 
 • Enquhy, vol. i. p. }8t, 
 + lb, p. 178, 179. 
 
THE SHADES. 299 
 
 must depend much on family attachments, 
 and on the inviolable regard which indivi« 
 duals should pay to their promises. 
 
 Neodidactus. 
 Family-attachments we regard as silly, 
 and even criminal, when they tend to bias 
 otlr opinions; and as to promises, our mas< 
 ter has written a long chapter, to prove that 
 they are great evils, and are only to be ob- 
 served, when we find it convenient. 
 
 Lucian. 
 
 Did it never occur to you, that this system 
 might produce more evil than good in the 
 world? and that you have been recommend- 
 ing a plan, which instead of perfecting 
 man, and improving society, must be de- 
 structive of every estimable quality in his 
 breast, and must drive him again into savage 
 solitude ? 
 
 Neodidactus. 
 
 We cannot always answer for events. 
 f* Every thing is connected in the imiverse. 
 
300 DIALOGUE IN 
 
 If any man asserted that, if Alexander bad 
 not bathed himself in the river Cydnus, 
 Shakespeare would never have written, it 
 would be impossible to affirm that his as- 
 sertion was untrue."* Such is our doctrine, 
 
 lucian. 
 Your logic is equally admirable with your 
 morality ; this species of sophism has been 
 exploded with contempt by good authors : 
 you now revive it as one of your discoveries, 
 and you may perhaps raise it to the rank of 
 those which merit indignation. 
 
 Neodidactus. 
 Be not too hasty, facetious Greek; you 
 miscalculate, like all those who err, the 
 quantity of energy necessary for this occa^ 
 sion. Our master has taken many of the 
 things which you disapprove, from the writr 
 ings of your friend Swift, 
 
 LuciaJif 
 Yes, I am aware that a great part of youy 
 
 • Enquiry, vol. i. p. t6u 
 
THE SHADES. goi 
 
 new philosophy is stolen from Gulliver's 
 Travels, and that the republic of horses was 
 the archetype of your perfect men* But 
 come, that we may part in good humour, I will 
 treat you with a sentiment, which I derive from 
 a dear friend of Swift. « We are for a just 
 partition of the world, for every man hath a 
 right to enjoy life. We retrench the super- 
 fluities of mankind. The world is avarici- 
 ous, and we hate avarice. A covetous fel- 
 low, like a jackdaw, steals what he was never 
 made to enjoy, for the sake of hiding it. 
 These are the robbers of mankind, for mo- 
 ney was made for the free-hearted and ge- 
 nerous: and where is the injury of taking 
 from anodier, what he has not the heart to 
 make use of?" What is your opinion of 
 this? 
 
 Neodidactus. 
 It is admirably expressed, in the true 
 spirit of our philosophy, and of impartial 
 justice. Indeed our master has said some- 
 
 • See the Voyage to the Houynhms, 
 
302 DIALOGUE IN THE SHADES. 
 
 thing very like it.* Pray, in what divine 
 work is this great truth to be found? 
 
 Lucian. 
 In the Beggar's Opera; it expresses the 
 sentiments of a gang of highwaymen, an in- 
 stitution which approaches nearer to your 
 idea of perfect society, than any other with 
 which I am acquainted. 
 
 * Enquiry, vol. i. p. 2o8, and vol. ii. p. 444f 
 445. 
 
KNASTER; 
 
 AN ELEGY. 
 
 WRITTEN IN 179l< 
 
The following elegy was originally written, to 
 rally a particular friend on his attachment to Cer- 
 man tobacco, and German literature. It is well 
 known to the learned, that the tobacco chiefly 
 Smoked by philosophers in Germany, is denomi- 
 nated Knaster; but it may be necessary to ap^ 
 prise the reader, that when this poem was compos- 
 ed, the fragrant weed was sold in covers, marked 
 as low-priced tea, for the purpose of evading the 
 excise laws. The subject did not appear consi- 
 derable enough to excite the sympathy of the pub- 
 lic, till I found that Professor Kotzebue had 
 founded the distress of a serious comedy on a si- 
 milar incident. In his Indians in England,* be 
 represents an amiable Baronet, overwhelmed with 
 afRiction, from the want of a pot of porter, and a 
 pipe of tobacco. Convinced of my error, by the 
 approbation with which his work has been re- 
 ceived, I have ventured to draw my elegy from 
 the heap of my papers, and to produce it, with 
 some slight alterations, and with the suppression 
 of all personal allusions. 
 
 t See " The German MiscelUny," by Mr. Thompioa. 
 
305 
 
 KNASTER. 
 
 i-)eep in a den, conceal'd from Phccbus' beams. 
 Where neighb'ring la well leads his sable 
 
 streams. 
 Where misty dye-rooms fragrant scents bestow, 
 And fires more fierce than love for ever glow, 
 Damxtas sate ; his drooping head, opprest 
 By heavy care, hung sullen on his breast : 
 His idle pipe was thrown neglected by,* 
 His books were tumbled, and his curls awry. 
 Beneath, the furnace sigh'd in thicker smoke. 
 Each loom return'd his groans with double stroke ; 
 In mournful heaps around his fossils lay. 
 And each sad crystal shot a watry ray. 
 
 * Ah I what,' he cry'd, * avails an honour'd place. 
 Or what the praise of learning's hectic race ! 
 In vain, to boast ,my well-instructed eyes, 
 I dip in buckets, or in baskets rise ; 
 Now plung'd, like Hob, to sprawl in dirty wells, 
 Now bent, with demon-forms, in murky cells. 
 Or where columnar salt enchants the soul, 
 Or starry roofs enrich the northern hole. 
 
306 KNASTEX. 
 
 Not me th' adjacent furnace can delight, 
 
 7*hat cheers, with c hemic gleam, the languid 
 
 night. 
 In vain my crystals boast their angles true. 
 In vain my port presents the genuine hue ; 
 Nor spars nor wine my spirits can restore, 
 My Knaster's out, and pleasure is no more. 
 ' To German books for refuge shall I fly ? 
 Without my Knaster these no bliss supply. 
 Here in light tomes grave Meiners, prone to 
 
 pore. 
 Like thin bank-notes, confines a weighty store ; 
 Here Burgher's muse, with ghostly terrors pale. 
 Runs, " hurry-skurry*," thro' her nursery-tale; 
 Here HuoN loves, while wizard-thunders roll, 
 Here Gorgon-SciiiiLER petrifies the soul; 
 Cr ell's sooty chemists here their lights impart ; 
 Here Pallas, skill'd in ev'ry barbarous art. 
 In vain to me each shining page is spread. 
 Without tobacco ne'er compos'd — nor read. 
 + • Who Knaster loves not, be he doom'd to 
 
 feed 
 With Caffrcs foul, or suck Virginia's weed. 
 
 * Hurry-skurry: one of the phrases, by which 
 some translators of Burgher's Le*noic have at- 
 tempted to convey an adequate impression of the 
 energy, and elegance of their original. 
 
 + Qui Bavium non odit, &c. 
 
KNASTER. 307 
 
 * At morn I love segars, at noon admire 
 The British compound, pearly from the fire ; 
 But Knaster always, Knaster is my song, 
 In studious gloom, or mid th' assembly's throng, 
 
 * Let pompous Brucb describe in boastful 
 style, 
 The wond'rous springs of fertilizing Nile. 
 Fool t for su many restless years to roam. 
 To drink such water as we find at home ; 
 And know, to end his long, romantic dreams, 
 That Nile arises — much like other streams. 
 Far other streams let me discover here, 
 Of yellow grog, or briskly-sparkling beer ! 
 But more my glory, more my pride, to see 
 My Knaster cas'd, with pious fraud, like tea ; 
 Glad soars the muse, and crowing claps her wings 
 At my discovery, hid, like his, from kings. 
 
 ' Some chase the fair, some dirty grubs employ. 
 And some the ball, and some the race enjoy. 
 Cooper the courting sciences denies, 
 -And from their envied love to bleaching flies. 
 Let serious fiddling nobler minds engiige, 
 Or dark black-letter charm the studious sage ; 
 
 * In ipriDgthe fielda, in autumn hills I love, 
 At mom the plains, at noon the shady grove, 
 But Delia always ; absent from her sight, 
 {for plains at morn, nor graves at noon delight. 
 
 Fori. 
 
308 KNASTER. 
 
 I 'd envy none their rattles, could I sit 
 To feast on Knaster, and Teutonic wit.' 
 
 Lo, while I speak the furnace-red decays, 
 And coy by fits the modest moon-beam plays. 
 Which thro' yond' threatening clouds, that bode 
 
 a shower. 
 Just tips with tender light the Old-Church tower. 
 Now wheels the doubtful bat in blund'ring rings. 
 Now " half past ten" the doleful watchman sings. 
 To-morrow Boaier supplies my fav'ritc store : 
 My Knaster's out — and I can watch no more. 
 
A NORTHERN PROSPECT ; 
 
 AN ODE. 
 
 Thou shalt not laugh in this leaf. Muse — 
 Don N e's 5tA Satire. 
 
The following ode contains ideas, suggested by the 
 extraordinary prospect from a rock, in the neigh- 
 bourhood of Alnwick Castle. That view compre- 
 hendsa series of antiquities, deeply interesting, not 
 only by their magnificence, but by their relation to 
 history ; and frequently recollected by the author, 
 amidst the exertions of active life, as the fa- 
 vourite scenes of his youth. Some readers may, 
 perhaps, suppose that the thoughts are not suf> 
 ficiently developed. But I have always con> 
 sidered it as essential to the ode, that it should 
 indicate impressions, without dwelling upon 
 them. The torrent of ideas, which characterizes 
 this species of poetry, only presents an object 
 with force, to hurry it more rapidly beyond the 
 view of the spectator. 
 
3<» 
 
 A NORTHERN PROSPECT. 
 
 When blazing noon illumes the plain, 
 And tips each spiry dome with quiv'ring fire. 
 Where Ratcheugh's pillar'd rocks aspire 
 
 Swift let my steps the airy height attain. 
 
 Around the various prospect thrown, 
 
 Th' expanded sea's majestic zone 
 In many a floating tint reflects the beam ; 
 
 Dark stretch the wood's high-shell'ring arms. 
 
 The village spreads her simple charms, 
 And shines afar the silver-winding stream. 
 
 Bold on the eye advance those tow'rs, 
 Where Percy boasts his princely bowers, 
 
 CrowiLthe slope-hill, and awe the subject-vale ; 
 In faded glory Warkworth's turrets rise. 
 And point to yonder cell * the raptur'd eyes. 
 
 Where figur'd rocks record the Hermit's tale. 
 Swift o'er Howick's attic hall, 
 And shelter'd Craster's sylvan wall, 
 
 • The Hermitage. 
 
312 A NORTHERN PROSPECT. 
 
 The view excursive flies, 
 Where Dunstonburgh • o'erhangs the roaring 
 
 tide. 
 And lifts his shatter'd arms, and mourns his ruin'd 
 
 piide. 
 
 Trembling o'er the rocky ground. 
 
 His genius sends a hollow sound. 
 Like the vex'd sea, when thund'ring winds are 
 
 fled; 
 " Relentless hands, which these proud works de- 
 
 fac'd ! 
 Mistaken avarice, with such costly waste 
 To rear the hardy peasant's simple shed ! 
 See Alnwick tower in Gothic pride ; 
 
 The marsh exhale, the heath recede. 
 In graceful wave the ductile river glide ; 
 
 'Tis liberal power's creative deed. 
 And far-conspicuous on the wat'ry waste, 
 Bambrough's huge rock the massy structures^ 
 crown : 
 
 On the black vale when rolling vapours spread. 
 The turrets gleam high o'er the driving blast: 
 
 Sharp + rear'd their drooping head. 
 
 Beneath old Cheviot's frown, 
 
 • A romantic fortress, nearly demolished to en- 
 large a farm-house, which lies at its feet. 
 
 + Dr. Sharp, late Archdeacon of Northumber- 
 land. 
 
A NORTHERN PROSPECT. 313 
 
 See Ford's • white line the Verdant slope adorn ; 
 
 But when shall rise my vernal morn ? 
 These fragments of Lancastrian pride, 
 
 These broken halls, these jutting mounds o'er- 
 throwD, 
 Rough gales, as thro' the mould'ring arch they 
 haste,. 
 
 Learn, soften'd, to bemoan ; 
 While deaf'ning waves, with aggregated roar. 
 Surmount the wall they vainly lash'd before." 
 
 Dim-shewn in yonder leafy glade, 
 Sequester'd Huln her fair enclosure rears. 
 Sweet hope of peaceful years. 
 
 Well might'st thou haunt that cloister'd shade ! 
 Let those proud trophies + tell 
 Where hostile monarchs fought and fell. 
 
 These walls beleag'ring round ; 
 Unhurt by war's tumultuous rage. 
 The tranquil monk illum'd the page, 
 
 Safe in thy consecrated ground. 
 
 Amid yon' happy woods 
 The careless rustic seeks his game, 
 
 • Ford Castle, repair'd by Lord Delaval. 
 
 t Monuments in the pleasure-grounds of the 
 Duke of Northumberland, which commemorate 
 the captivity of one king of Scotland, and the 
 death of another, while they were besiging the 
 castle of Alnwick. 
 
314 '^ aottttiERii PROSPECT. 
 
 Or in the murin'ring floods 
 Ensnares the fry, by loneness tame ; 
 
 Nor heeds where creeping ivy's trail 
 
 O'er knightly trophies draws its veil ; 
 
 Nor, as the crumbling turrets fade. 
 
 Remarks the abbey's shorteii'd shade ; 
 
 Unmov'd alike by piety and fame. 
 
 Ye who catch at glory's flame. 
 
 To yon' majestic walls repair ; 
 
 Know Tyson,+ Vescy,+ or Fitzharding* 
 there 
 Spread their rich banners in the flutt'ring gale; 
 Learn to contemn, from their neglected tsie. 
 The wild ambition of a name. 
 
 + The Saxon, and first Norman Lords of Aln> 
 wick. 
 
 • Founder of Warkworth Castle. 
 
 FINIS. 
 
 ERRATA. 
 Page S7, note, for Atquc, read AljmL 
 28, for Triiram, rcid Triitram, 
 34, line 18, for grand, read grands, 
 90, line 8, for away, read twrj. 
 141, line 3, for subsiantivei, read suijtMMCCS, 
 S43, noie, for proptca, read frtftcr.