The original of tiiis book is in tine Cornell University Library. There are no known copyright restrictions in the United States on the use of the text. http://www.archive.org/details/cu31924073426813 CORNELL UNIVERSITY LIBRARY 3 1924 073 426 813 In compliance with current copyright law, Cornell University Library produced this replacement volume on paper that meets the ANSI Standard Z39.48-1992 to replace the irreparably deteriorated original. 1995 THE POTIPHAR PAPERS. THE POTIPHAE PAPEJiS. GEORGE WILLIAM CURTIS. NULW YORK: HA K PEE & BEOTUEES, PUBLISHEKS, PEANKLIN SQUAEE. 1858. Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1856, by GEORGE WILLIAM CURTIS, In the Clerk's Office of the DiBtrict Conrt of the United St-ates for the Southern District of New York. " Imag'matiou fondly stoops to trace The parlor splendors of that festive place." Goldsmitk'K Dcsci-led Village, " Manuel's are what vex or soothe, corrupt or purffy, exalt or debase, barbarize or refine us. by a constant, steady, uniform, iuscnsiblo opera- tion, like that of the air wo breathe in." Burke's Ftrst JM-tcr on a Regicide Peace, " And I do seriously approve of that saj'ing of yours, ' that you would rather bo a civil, well-governed, well-grounded, temperate, poor anglei than a drunken lord.' But 1 hope there is none such." IValloyi's Angler. ^S&flJ,.^ * " ' Mon petit faquin de philoeophe.* dit le Chevalier de Grammont, * tu faia ici lo Caton dc Normandie.' " " *Est-ce que jo mens V poursuivit Saint-Evremond." Mimoires de O rammont. CONTENTS I. " Our Best Society," 1 II. Our New Livery, and Other Things — A Letter FROM Mrs. Potiphar to Miss Caroline Pettitoes, 39 III. A Meditation by Paul Potiphar, Esq., . . 81 rV. Prom the Simmer Diary op Minerva Tattle, . 115 v. The Potiphars in Paris, 155 VI. KuKZ Pacha to the Eing of Sennaar, upon receiv- ing his Letters of Eeoall {now _^r.^i translated), 203 VII. The Eev. Uekry Dove to JIrs. Potiphar {private), 211 PREFATORY LETTER TO REV. CREAM CHEESE. Eey. and Dear Sir : It is surely unnecessary to call the attention of so astute an observer, and so austere a critic, as yourself, to the fact that the title of the leading essay in this little volume (of which, permit me to say, you are so essential an ornament) is marked as a quotation ; and a quotation, as you will very well remember, from the lips of our friend, Mrs. Potiphar, herself. Therefore, Eev. Sir, your judgment, which, you must allow me to say, is no less impartial than your experience is profound, will suggest to you that the subject of that essay (of the points of which the succeeding sketches are but elaborations) is the aspect of what is currently termed " our best society'' — whether with reason or not, is beside the purpose. Your pastoral charity, I am convinced, will persuade you to direct the attention of your parishioners to this fact, and to assure them that, when you prepared your timely trea- tise upon the progress of purple chasubles among the Feejee Islanders, you were not justly amenable to the charge of omitting all notice of the cultivation of artificial flowers by X LETTER TO REV. CREAM CHEESE. tlie Crim Tartars. The latter are, I believe, a very esti- mable people, but they were not the subjects of your consideration. To those in your parish, and elsewhere, who have thought fit to suppose that Mrs. Potiphar is Mrs. Some- body-else — what can we say? conscious as we are, that they who have once known that lady could never confound her with another. Bat for those who have actually supposed you, yourself, Eeverend Sir, to be, not somebody else, but nobody, (!) we can only smile compassionately, and express the hope that a broader experience may give them greater wisdom. In taking leave of you, Sir, I know that I express the warmest wish of a large, a very large parish (I might almost say diocese), that yon may long survive. For your parish is fully, and, as I think, most correctly persuaded, that while there is a Cream Cheese, there will always be a Mrs. Potiphar. With all proper regard, I am, Eeverend and Dear Sir, Your very obedient, humble servant, The Editok. New York, Dccemlcr, 1853. I. "OUE BEST SOCIETY," ^OUR LEST SOCIETY." If gilt were only gold, or sugar-candy common sense, what a fine thing our society would be ! If to lavish money upon ohjets de vertu, to wear the most costly dresses, and always to have them cut in the height of the fashion ; to build houses thirty feet broad, as if they were palaces ; to furnish them with all the luxurious devices of Parisian genius ; to give superb banquets, at v^hich your guests laugh, and which make you miserable ; to drive a fine carriage and ape European liveries, and crests, and coats- of-arms ; to resent the friendly advances of your baker's wife, and the lady of your butcher (you be- ing yourself a cobbler's daughter) ; to talk much of the " old families" and of your aristocratic foreign friends ; to despise labor ; to prate of " good so- ciety ;" to travesty and parody, in every conceivable way, a society which we know only in books and by the superficial observation of foreign travel, which arises out of a social organization entirely 2 THE POTirH A E PAPERS. unknown to us, and wlncli is opposed to our fun- damental and essential principles; if all this were fine, what a prodigiously fine societ}^ would ours be! This occurred to us upon lately receiving a card of invitation to a brilliant ball. We were quietly ruminating over our evening fire, with Disraeli's Wellington speech, " all tears," in our hands, with the account of a great man's burial, and a little man's triumph across the channel. So man)' great men gone, we mused, and such great crises impend- ing! This democratic movement in Europe ; Kos- suth and Mazzini waiting for the moment to give the word ; the Russian bear watchfully sucking his paws ; the Napoleonic empire redivivus ; Cuba, and annexation, and Slavery ; California and Australia, and the consequent considerations of political economy; dear me! exclaimed we, putting on a fresh hodful of coal, we must look a little into the state of parties. As we put down the coal-scuttle, there was a knock at the door. We said, " come in," and in came a neat Alhambra-watered envelope, contain- ing the announcement that the queen of fashion was " at home" that evening week. Later in the even- ing, came a friend to smoke a cigar. The card was lying upon the table, and be read it with eagerness. OUR BEST SOCIETY." 8 " You'll go, of course," said he, " for you will meet all the ' best society.' " Shall we, truly ? Shall we really see the " best society of the city," the picked flower of its genius, character, aud beauty? What makes the " best so- ciety" of men and women ? The noblest specimens of each, of course. The men who mould the time, who refresh our faith in heroism and virtue, who make Plato, and Zeno, and Shakespeare, and all Shakespeare's gentlemen, possible again. The wo- men, whose beauty, and sweetness, and dignity, and high accomplishment, and grace, make us under- stand the Greek mythology, and weaken our desire to have some glimpse of the most famous women of history. The "best society" is that in which the virtues are most shining, which is the most chari- table, forgiving, long-suffering, modest, and inno- cent. The " best society" is, by its very name, that in which there is the least hypocrisy and insincerity of all kinds, which recoils from, and blasts, artifici- ality, which is anxious to be all that it is possible to be, and. which sternly reprobates all shallow pre- tence, all coxcombry and foppery, and insists upon simplicity as the infallible characteristic of true worth. That is the " best society," which com- prises the best men and women. Had we recently arrived from the moon, we 4 THE POTIPHAE PAPERS. might, upon hearing that we were to meet the " best society," have fancied that we were about to enjoy an opportunity not to be overvalued. But unfortunately we were not so freshly arrived. We had received other cards, and had perfected our toilette many times, to meet this same society, so magnificently described, and had found it the least " best" of all. Who compose it ? Whom shall we meet if we go to this ball ? We shall meet three classes of persons : first, those who are rich, and who have all that money can buy ; second, those who belong to what are technically called " the good old families," because some ancestor was a man of mark in the state or country, or was very rich, and has kept the fortune in the family ; and, thirdly, a swarm of youths who can dance dexter- ously, and who are invited for that purpose. Now these are all arbitrary and factitious distinctions upon which to found so profound a social difference as that which exists in American, or, at least in New York, society. First, as a general rule, the rich men of every community, who make their own money, are not the most generally intelligent and cultivated. They have a shrewd talent which se- cures a fortune, and which keeps them closely at the work of amassing from their youngest years until they are old. They are sturdy men, of simple "OUR BEST SOCIETY." 5 tastes often. Sometimes, though rarely, very gener- ous, but necessarily with an altogether false and exaggerated idea of the importance of money. They are a rather rough, unsympathetic, and, per- haps, selfish class, who, themselves, despise purple and fine linen, and still prefer a cot-bed and a bare room, although they may be worth millions. But they are married to scheming, or ambitious, or dis- appointed, women, whose life is a prolonged pageant, and they are dragged hither and thither in it, are bled of their golden blood, and forced into a position they do not covet and which they despise. Then thei-e are the inheritors of wealth. How many of them inherit the valiant genius and hard frugality which built up their fortunes ; how many acknow- ledge the stern and heavy responsibility of their op- portunities ; how many refuse to dream their lives away in a Sybarite luxuiy ; how many are smitten with the lofty ambition of achieving an enduring name by works of a permanent value ; how many do not dwindle into dainty dilettanti, and dilute their manhood with factitious sentimentality instead of a hearty, human sympathy; how many are not satis- fied with having the fastest horses and the " crack- est" carriages, and an unlimited wardrobe, and a weak affectation and puerile imitation of foreign life ? 6 THE POTIPHAR PAPERS. And who are these of our secondly, these " old families" ? The spirit of our time and of our coun- try knows no such thing, but the habitue of " so- ciety" hears constantly of "a good family." It means simply, the collective mass of children, grand- children, nejihews, nieces, and descendants, of some man who desei'ved well of his country, and whom his country honors. But sad is the heritage of a great name ! The son of Burke will inevitably be measured by Burke. The niece of Pope must show some superiority to other women (so to speak), or her equality is inferiority. The feelmg of men at- tributes some magical charm to blood, and we look to see the daughter of Helen as fair as her mother, and the son of Shakespeare musical as his sire. If they are not so, if they are merely names, and com- mon persons — if there is no Burke, nor Shakespeare, nor Washington, nor Bacon, in their words, or ac- tions, or lives, then we must pity them, and pass gently on, nob upbraiding them, but regretting that it is one of the laws of greatness that it dwindles all things in its vicinity, which would otherwise show large enough. Nay, in our regard for the great man, we may even admit to a compassionate honor, as pensioners upon our charity, those who bear and transmit his name. But if these heirs should pre- sume upon that fame, and claim any precedence of "OUR BEST SOCIETY." 7 living men and women because their dead grand- father was a hero — they must be shown the door directly. We should dread to be born a Percy, or a Colonna, or a Bonaparte. We should not like to be the second Duke of Wellington, nor Charles Dickens, jr. It is a terrible thing, one would say, to a mind of honorable feeling, to be pointed out as somebody's son, or uncle, or granddaughter, as if the excellence were all derived. It must be a little humiliating to reflect that if your great uncle had not been somebody, you would be nobody — that, in fact, you are only a name, and that, if you should consent to change it for the sake of a fortune, as is sometimes done, you would cease to be an3rthing but a rich man. " My father was President, or Governor of the State," some pompous man may say. But, by Jupiter ! king of gods and men, what are you ? is the instinctive response. Do you not see, our pompous friend, that you are only pointing your own unimportance ? If your father was Grov- emor of the State, what right have you to use that fact only to fatten your self-conceit? Take care, good care ; for whether you say it by your lips or by your life, that withering response awaits you — " then what are you?''^ If your ancestor was great, you are under bonds to greatness. If you are small, make haste to learn it betimes, and, thanking heaven 8 -THE POTIPHAE PAPERS- that your name has been made illustrious, retire into a corner and keep it, at least, untarnished. Our thirdly, is a class made by sundry French tailors, bootmakers, dancing-masters, and Mr. Browu. They are a corps-de-ballet, for the use of private entertainments. They are fostered by society for the use of young debutantes, and hardier damsels, who have dared two or three years of the " tight" polka. They are cultivated for their heels, not their heads. Theii' life begins at ten o'clock in the evening, and lasts until four in the morning. They go home and sleep until nine; then they reel, sleepy, to counting-houses and offices, and doze on desks until dinner-time. Or, unable to do that, they are actively at work all day, and their cheeks grow pale, and their lips thin, and their eyes blood- shot and hollow, and they drag themselves home at evening to catch a nap until the ball begins, or to dine and smoke at their club, and be very manly with punches and coarse stories ; and then to rush into hot and glittering rooms, and seize very decollete girls closely around the waist, and dash with them around an area of stretched linen, saying in the panting pauses, "How very hot it is!" "How very pretty Miss Podge looks !" " What a good redowa !" " Ai-e you going to Mrs. Potiphar's ?" Is this the assembled flower of manhood and '' -r^r' "OUR BEST SOCIETY." 9 womanhood, called " best society," and to see which is so envied a privileged If such are the elements, can we be long in arriving at the present state, and necessary future condition of parties ? " Vanity Fair" is peculiarly a picture of modern society. It aims at English follies, but its mark is universal, as the madness is. It is called a satire, but, after much diligent reading, we cannot .discover the satire. A state of society not at all superior to that of "Vanity Fair" is not unknovsTi to our expe- rience ; and, unless truth-telling be satire ; unless the most tragically real portraiture be satire ; unless scalding tears of sorrow, and the bitter regret of a manly mind over the miserable spectacle of arti- ficiality, wasted powers, misdirected energies, and lost opportunities, be satirical ; we do not find satire in that sad story. The reader closes it vdth a grief beyond tears. It leaves a vague apprehension in the mind, as if we should suspect the air to be poisoned. It suggests the temble thought of the enfeebling of moral power, and the deterioration of noble character, as a necessary consequence of con- tact with " society." Every man looks suddenly and sharply around him, and accosts himself and his neighbors, to ascertain if they are all parties to this corruption. Sentimental youths and maidens, upon velvet sofas, or in calf-bound libraries, resolve that 1* 10 THE POTIPHAE PAPERS. it is an insult to liumau nature — are sure that tlieir velvet and calf-bound friends are not like tlie dra- matis personaj of " Vanity Fair," and that the drama is therefore hideous and unreal. Tiiey should re- member, what thej' uniformly and universal!}' for- get, that we are not invited, upon the rising of tlie curtain, to behold a cosmorama, or picture of the world, but a representation of that part of it called Vanity Fair. What its just limits are — how far its poisonous purlieus reach — how much of the world's air is tainted by it, is a question which every thoughtful man will ask himself, with a shudder, and look sadly around, to answer. If the senti- mental objectors rally again to the charge, and de- clare that, if we wish to improve the world, its virtuous ambition must be piqued and stimulated by making the shining heights of "the ideal" more radiant ; we reply, that none shall surpass us in honoring the men whose creations of beauty inspire and insti'uct mankind. But if they benefit the world, it is no less true that a vivid apprehension of the depths into which we are sunken or may sink, nerves the soul's courage quite as nauch as the alluring mirage of the happy heights we may attain. " To hold the mirror up to Nature," is still the most potent method of shaming sin and strengthen- ing virtue. "OOR BEST SOCIETY." 11 If " Vanity Fair" be a satire, what novel of socie- ty is not ? Are "Vivian Grey," and " Pelham," and tlie long catalogue of books illustrating Eng- lish, or the host of Balzacs, Sands, Sues, and Dumas, tliat paint French society, less satires? Nay, if you should catch any dandy in Broadway, or in Pall-Mali, or upon the Boulevards, this veiy morning, and write a coldly true history of his life and actions, his doings and undoings, would it not be the most scathing and tremendous satire ? — if by satire you mean the consuming melancholy of the conviction, that the life of that pendant to a mous- tache is an insult to the possible life of a man. We have read of a hypocrisy so thorough, that it was surprised you should think, it hypocritical : and we have bitterly thought of the saying, when hear- ing one mother say of another mother's child, that she had " made a good match," because the girl was betrothed to a stupiid boy whose father was rich. The remark was the key of our social feel- ing. Let us look at it a little, and, first of all, let the reader consider the criticism, and not the critic. We may like very well, in our individual capacity, to partake of the delicacies prepared by our hostess's clief, we may not be averse to imte and myriad ohjets de goUt, and if you caught us in a 12 THE POTIPHAR PAPERS corner at the next ball, putting away a fair share of dinde mix truffes, we know you would have at us in a tone of great moral indignation, and wish to know why we sneaked into great houses, eating good suppBrs, and drinking clioice wines, and then went away with an indigestion, to write dyspeptic dis- gusts at society. We might reply that it is necessary to know something of a subject before writing about it, and that if a man wished to' describe the habits of South Sea Islanders, it is useless to go to Greenland ; we might also confess a partiality for pate, and a ten- derness for truffes, and acknowledge that, consider- ing our single absence would not put down extrava- gant, pompous parties, we were not strong enough to let the morsels drop into unappreciating mouths ; or we might say, that if a man invited us to see his new house, it would not be ungracious nor insult- ing to his hospitality, to point out whatever weak parts we might detect in it, nor to declare our can- did conviction, that it was built upon wrong princi- ples and could not stand. He might believe us if we had been in the house, but he certainly would not, if we had never seen it. Nor would it be a very wise reply upon his part, that we might build abetter if we didn't like that. We are not fond of David's pictures, but we certainly could never paint "OUR BEST SOCIETY." 13 half so well ; nor of Pojje's poetry, but posterity- will never hear of our verses. Criticism is not con- struction, it is observation. If we could surpass in its own way everything which displeased us, we should make short work of it, and instead of show- ing what fatal blemishes deform our present socie- ty, we should present a specimen of perfection, directly. We went to the brilliant ball. There was too much of everything. Too much light, and eating, and drinking, and dancing, and flirting, and dress- ing, and feigning, and smirking, and much too many people. Good taste insists iirst upon fitness. But why had Mrs. Potiphar given this ball? We in- quired industriously, and learned it was because she did not give one last year. Is it then essential to do this thing biennially? inquired we with some trepidation. " Certainly," was the bland reply, " or society will forget you." Every body was un- happy at Mrs. Potiphar's, save a few girls and boys, who danced violently all the evening. Those who did not dance walked up and down the rooms as well as they could, squeezing by non-dancing ladies, causing them to swear in their hearts as the brusque broadcloth carried away the light outworks of gauze and gossamer. The dowagers, ranged in solid pha- lanx, occupied all the chairs and sofas against the 14 THE POTIPHAE PAPERS. wall, and fanned themselves until supper-time, looking at eacli other's diamonds, and criticising the toilettes of the younger ladies, each narrowly watching her peculiar Polly Jane, that she did not betray too much interest in any man wlio was not of a certain fortune. — It is the cold, vulgar truth, madam, nor are we in the slightest degree exagger- ating. — Elderly gentlemen, twisting single gloves in a very wretched manner, came up and bowed to the dowagers, and smirked, and said it was a pleas- ant party, and a handsome house, and then clutched their hands behind them, and walked miserably away, looking as affable as possible. And the dow- agers made a little fun of the elderly gentlemen, among themselves, as they walked away. Then came the younger non-dancing men — a class of the community who wear black cravats and waistcoats, and thrust their thumbs and fore- fingers in their waistcoat-pockets, and are called " talking men." Some of them are literary, and affect the philosopher ; have, perhaps, written a book or two, and are a small species of lion to very young ladies. Some are of the Uasa kind ; men who affect the extremest elegance, and are reputed " so aristocratic," and who care for nothing in particular, but wish they had not been born gentlemen, in which case they might have escaped "OUR BEST SOCIETY." 15 eanui. These gentlemen stand with hat in hand, and their coats and trowsers are unexceptionable. They are the "so gentlemanly" persons of whom one hears a great deal, but which seems to mean nothing but cleanliness. Vivian Grey and Pelham are the models of their ambition, and they succeed in being Pendennis. They enjoy the reputation of being " very clever," and '• very talented fellows," and " smart chaps ;" but they refrain from proving what is so generously conceded. They are often men of a certain cultivation. They have travelled, many of them — spending a year or two in Paris, and a month or two in the rest of Europe. =Conse- quently they endure society at home, with a smile, and a shrug, and a graceful superciliousnessj which is very engaging. They are perfectly at home, and they rather despise Young America, which, in the next room, is diligently earning its invitation. They prefer to hover about the ladies who did not come out this season, but are a little used to the world, with whom they are upon most friendly terms, . and they criticise together, very freely, all the great events in the great world of fashion. These elegant Pendennises we saw at Mrs. Poti- phar's, but not without a sadness which can hardly be explained. They had been boys once, all of them, fresh and frank-hearted, and full of a noble 16 THE POTIPHAE PAPERS. ambition. They had read and pondered the histo- ries of great men ; how they resolved, and strug- gled, and achieved. In the pure portraiture of genius, they had loved and honored noble women, and each young heart was sworn to truth and the service of beauty. Those feelings were chivalric and fair. Those boyish instincts clung to whatever was lovely, and rejected the specious snare, how- ever graceful and elegant. They sailed, new knights, upon that old and endless crusade against hypocrisy and the devil, and they were lost in the luxury of Corinth, nor longer seek, the difficult shores beyond. A present smile was worth a fu- ture laurel. The ease of the moment was worth immortal tranquillity. They renounced the stern worship of the unknown God, and acknowledged the deities of Athens. But the seal of their shame is their own smile at their early dreams, and the high hopes of their boyhood, their sneering infi- delity of simplicity, their scepticism of motives and of men. Youths, whose younger years were fervid with the resolution to strike and win, to desei-ve, at least, a gentle remembrance, if not a dazzling fame, are content to eat, and drink, and sleep well ; to go to the opera and all the balls ; to be known as " gentlemanly," and " aristocratic," and " dangerous," and " elegant ;" to cherish a "OUR BEST SOCIETY." 17 luxurious and enervating indolence, and to " suc- ceed," upon the cheap reputation of having been "fast" in Paris. The end of such men is evident enough from the beginning. They are snuffed out by a "great match," and become an appendage to a rich v^oman ; or they dwindle off into old rou6s, men of the world in sad earnest, and not vpith ele- gant affectation, hlase ; and as they began Arthur Pendennises, so they end the Major. But, believe it, that old fossil heart is wrung sometimes by a mortal pang, as it remembers those squandered opportunities and that lost life. From these groups we passed into the dancing- room. We have seen dancing in other countries, and dressing. We have certainly never seen gen- tlemen dance so easily, gracefully, and well, as the American. But the style of dancing, in its whirl, its rush, its fury, is only equalled by that of the masked balls at the French opera, and the balls at the Salle Valentino, the Jardin Mahille, the Chateau Rouge, and other favorite resorts of Parisian Gri- settes and Lorettes. We saw a few young men looking upon the dance very soberly, and, upon inquiry, learned that they were engaged to certain ladies of the corps-de-ballet. Nor did we wonder that the spectacle of a young woman whirling in a decollete state, and in the embrace of a warm youth, 18 THE POTIPIIAE PAPERS. around a heated room, induced a little sobriety upon her lover's face, if not a sadness in his heart. Amusement, recreation, enjoyment ! There are no more beautiful things. But this proceeding falls under another head. We watched the various toi- lets of these bounding belles. They were rich and tasteful. But a man at our elbow, of experience and shrewd observation, said, with a sneer, for which we called him to account, " I observe that American ladies are so rich in charms that they are not at all chary of them. It is certainly generous to us miserable black coats. But, do you know, it strikes me as a generosity of display that must necessarily leave the donor poorer in maidenly feel- ing." We thought ourselves cynical, but this was intolerable ; and in a very crisp manner we de- manded an apology. " Why," responded our friend with more of sad- ness than of satire in his tone, " why are you so ex- asperated ? Look at this scene ! Consider that this is, really, the life of these girls. This is what they ' come out' for. This is the end of their ambition. They think of it, dream of it, long for it. Is it amusement? Yes, to a few, possibly. But listen and gather, if you can, from their remarks (when they make any), that they have any thought beyond this, and going to church very rigidly on Sunday. "OUR BEST SOCIETY." 19 The vigor of polking and church-going are propor- tioned ; as is the one so is the other. My young friend, I am no ascetic, and do not suppose a man is damned because he dances. But life is not a ball (more's the pity, trul}% for these butterflies), nor is its sole duty and delight, daucing. When I consid- er this spectacle — when I remember what a noble and beautiful woman is, what a manly man — when I reel, dazzled by this glare, drunken by these per- fumes, confused by this alluring music, and reflect upon the enormous sums wasted in'a pompous pro- fusion that delights no one — when I look around upon all this rampant vulgarity in tinsel and Brus- sels lace, and think bow fortunes go, how men struggle and loose the bloom of tbeir honesty, how women hide in a smiling pretence, and eye with caus- tic glances their neighbor's newer house, diamonds or porcelain, and observe their daughters, such as these — why, I tremble, and tremble, and this scene to-night, every ' crack' ball this winter, will be, not the pleasant society of men and women, but — even in this young country — an orgie such as rotting Corinth saw, a frenzied festival of Rome in its de- cadence." There was a sober truth in this bitterness, and we turned away to escape the sombre thought of the moment. Addressing one of the panting houris 20 THE PO TIP HAE TAPERS. who stood melting in a window, we spoke (and con- fess how absurdly) of the Dusseldorf Gallery. It was merely to avoid saying how wai-m the room was, and how pleasant the party was, facts upon which we had already enlarged. "Yes, they are pretty pictures; but la! how long it must have taken Mr. Dusseldorf to paint them all ;" was the reply. By the Farnesian Hercules ! no Roman sylph in her city's decline would ever have called the sun-god, Mr. Apollo. We hope that houri melted entirely away in the window ; but we certainly did uot stay to see. Passing out toward the supper-room we encoun- tered two young men. " What, Hal," said one, "-you at Mrs. Potiphar's ?" It seems that Hal was a sprig of one of the "old families." "Well Joe," said Hal, a little confused, " it is a little strange. The fact is I didn't mean to be here, but I concluded to compromise by coming, and not hemg introduced to the host." Hal could come, eat Potiphar's sup- per, drink his wines, spoil his carpets, laugh at his fashionable struggles, and affect the puppyism of a foreign lord, because he disgraced the name of a man who had done some service somewhere, while Potiphar was only an honest man who made a for- tune. "OUR BEST SOCIETY." 21 The supper-roora was a pleasant place. The table was covered with a chaos of supper. Every- thing sweet and rare, and hot and cold, solid and liquid, was there. It vfas the very apotheosis of gilt gingerbread. There was a universal rush and strug- gle. The charge of the guards at Waterloo was no- thing to it. Jellies, custard, oyster-soup, ice-cream, wine and water, gushed in profuse cascades over transparent precipices oi tulle, muslin, gauze, silk, and satin. Clumsy boys tumbled against costly dresses and smeared them with preserves ; when clean plates failed, the contents of plates already used were quietly " chucked" under the table — heel-taps of chamjjagne were poured into the oj'ster tureens or overflowed upon plates to clear the glasses — wine of all kinds flowed in torrents, particularly down the throats of very young men, who evinced their man- hood by becoming noisy, troublesome, and disgust- ing, and were finally either led, sick, into the hat- room, or carried out of the way, drunk. The supper over, the young people attended by their matrons descended to the dancing-room for the " German." This is a dance commencing usually at midnight or a little after, and continuing indefinitely toward day- break. The young people were attended by their matrons, who were there to supei-vise the morals and manners of their charges. To secure the perform- 22 THE POTIPHAR PAPERS. ance of this duty, the yoinig people took good care to sit where the matrons could not see them, nor did they, by any chance, look toward the quarter in whicli the matrons sat. In that quarter, through all the varying mazes of the prolonged dance, to two o'clock, to three, to four, sat the bediamonded dowagers, the mothers, the matrons — against nature, against common sense. They babbled with each other, they drowsed, they dozed. Their fans fell listless into their laps. In the adjoining room, out of the waking sight, even, of the then sleeping mam- mas, the daughters whirled in the close embrace of partners-who had brought down bottles of cham- pagne from the supper-room, and put them by the side of their chairs for occasional refreshment during the dance. The dizzy hours staggered by — " Azalia, you must come now," had been already said a dozen times, but only as by the scribes. Finally it vs^as declared with authority. Azalia went — Amelia — Arabella. The rest followed. There was prolong- ed cloaking, there were lingering farewells. A few papas were in the supper-room, sitting among the debris of game. A few young non-dancing husbands sat beneath gas unnaturall}' bright, reading what- ever chance book was at hand, and thinking of the young child at home waiting for mamma who was dancing the " German" below. A few e.xhaust- "OUR BEST SOCIETY." 23 ed matrons satin the robing-room, tired, sad, wish- ing Jane -would come up ; assailed at intervals by a vague suspicion that it was not quite worth while ; wondering how it was they used to have such good times at balls ; yawning, and looking at their watches ; while the regular beat of the music belov/, with sardonic sadness, continued. At last Jane came up, had had the most glorious time, and went down with mamma to the carriage, and so drove home. Even the last Jane went — the last noisy youth was expelled, and Mr. and Mrs. Potiphar hav- ing duly performed their biennial social duty, dismiss- ed the music, ordered the servants to count the spoons, and an hour or two after daylight went to bed. Enviable Mr. and Mrs. Potiphar ! We are now prepared for the great moral indig- nation of the friend who saw us eating our dinde aux truffes in that remarkable supper-room. We are waiting to hear him say in the most moderate and "gentlemanly" manner, that it is all very well to select flaws and present them as specimens, and to learn from him, possibly with indignant publici- ty, that the present condition of parties is not what we have intimated. Or, in his quiet and pointed wa)', he may smile at our fiery assault upon edged flounces and nuga pyramids, and the kingdom of Lilliput in general. 24 THE POTIPHAR PAPERS. Yet, after all, and despite the youths who are led out, and carriedhome, or who stumble through the " German," this is a sober matter. My friend told us we should see the " best society." But he is a prodigious wag. "Who make this country"? From whom is its character of unparalleled enterprise, heroism, and success derived? Who have given it its place in the respect and the fear of the world ? Who, annually, recruit its energies, confirm its pro- gress, and secure its triumph? Who are its char- acteristic children, the pith, the sinew, the bone, of its prosperity? Who found, and direct, and con- tinue its manifold institutions of mercy and educa- tion ? Who are, essentially, Americans ? Indig- nant friend, these classes, whoever they may be, are the " best society," because they alone are the rep- resentatives of its character and cultivation. They are the " best society" of New York, of Boston, of Baltimore, of St. Louis, of New Orleans, whether they live upon six hundred or sixty thousand dol- lars a year — whether they inhabit princely houses in fashionable streets (which they often do), or not — whether their sons have graduated at Celarius's and the Jardin Mabille, or have never been out of their fathers' shops — whether they have " air" and "style," and are " so gentlemanly" and " so aristocratic," or not. Your shoemaker, your lawyer, your butcher, "OUR BEST SOCIETY" 25 your clerg3mien — if they are simple and stead j^, and, whether rich or poor, are unseduced by the sirens of extravagance and ruinous display, help make up the " best society." For that mystic communion is not composed of the rich, but of the worthy; and is " best" b}^ its virtues, and not b}'- its vices. When Johnson, Burke, Goldsmith, Garrick, Reynolds, and their friends, met at supper in Goldsmith's rooms, where was the " best society" in England ? When George the Fourth outraged humanity and decency in his treatment of Queen Caroline, who was the first scoundrel in Europe ? Pause yet a moment, indignant friend. Whose habits and principles would ruin this country as rapidly as it has been made ? Who are enamored of a puerile imitation of foreign splendors ? Who strenuously endeavor to graft the questionable points of Parisian society upon our own ? Who pass a few years in Europe and return sceptical of republican- ism and human improvement, longing and sighing for more sharply emphasized social distinctions? Who squander, with profuse recklessness, the hard-earned fortunes of their sires ? Who diligently devote their time to nothing, foolishly and wrongly suppos- ing that a young English nobleman has nothing to do ? Who, in fine, evince by their collective con- duct, that they regard their Americanism as a rais- 2 26 THE POTIPHAK PAPEES. fortune, and are so the most deadly enemies of their country ? None but what our wag facetiously termed " the best society." If the reader doubts, let him consider its practical results in any great emporiums of " best society." Marriage is there regarded as a luxury, too expen- sive for any but the sons of rich men, or fortunate j'^oung men. We once heard an eminent divine as- sert, and only half in sport, that the rate of living was advancing so incredibly, that weddings in his experience were perceptibly diminishing. The reasons might have been many and various. But we all acknowledge the fact. On the other hand, and about the same time, a lovely damsel (ah ! Clorinda !) whose father was not wealthy, who had no prospective means of support, who could do nothing but polka to perfection, who literally knew almost nothing, and who constantly shocked every fairly intelligent person by the glaring ignorance betrayed in her remarks, informed a friend at one of the Saratoga balls, whither he had made haste to meet " the best society," that there were " not more than three good matches in society." La Dame aux CaimliaSj.'M.dsie Duplessis, was to our fancy a much more feminine, and admirable, and moral, and hu- man person, than the adored Clorinda. And yet what she said was the legitimate result of the state "OUR BEST SOCIETY.- 27 of our fashionable society. It worsliips wealth, and the pomp which wealth can purchase, more than virtue, genius, or beauty. We may be told that it has always been so in every countiy, and that the fine society of all lands is as profuse and flashy as our own. We deny it, flatly. Neither English, nor French, nor Italian, nor German society, is so unspeakably barren as that which is technically call- ed " society" here. In London, and Paris, and Vi- enna, and Rome, all the really eminent men and women help make up the mass of society. A party is not a mere ball, but it is a congress of the wit, beauty, and fame of the capital. It is worth while to dress, if you shall meet Macaulay, or Hallam, or Guizot, or Thiers, or Landseer, or Delaroche — Mrs. Norton, the Misses Berry, Madame Recamier, and all the brilliant women and famous foreigners. But why should we desert the pleasant pages of those men, and the recorded gossip of those women, to be squeezed flat against a wall, while young Doughface pours oyster-gravy down our shirt-front, and Caroline Pettitoes wonders at " Mr. Diissel- dorf's" industry ? If intelligent people decline to go, you justly re- mark, it is their own fault. Yes, but if they stay away, it is very certainly their great gain. The el- derly people are always neglected with us, and no- 28 THE rOTIPHAR PAPERS. thing surprises intelligent strangers more than tlie tyrannical supremac)^ of Young America. But we are not surprised at this neglect. How can we be, if we have our eyes open? "When Caroline Petti- toes retreats from the floor to the sofa, and instead of a " polker" figures at parties as a matron, do you suppose that "tough old Joes" like ourselves are going to desert the young Caroline upon the floor, for Madame Pettitoes upon the sofa ? If the pretty young Caroline, with youth, health, freshness, a fine, budding form, and wreathed in a semi-trans- parent haze of flounced and flowered gauze, is so vapid that we prefer to accost her with our eyes alone, and not with our tongues, is the same Caro- line married into a Madame Pettitoes, and fanning herself upon a sofa — no longer particularly fresh, nor young, nor pretty, and no longer budding, but very fully blown — likely to be fascinating in con- versation ? We cannot wonder that the whole con- nection of Pettitoes, when advanced to the matron state, is entirely neglected. Proper homage to age we can all pay at home, to our parents and grand- parents. Proper respect for some persons is best preserved by avoiding their neighborhood. And what, think you, is the influence of this ex- travagant expense and senseless show upon these same young men and women? We can easily dis- "OUR BEST SOCIETY." 29 cover. It saps their noble ambition, assails their healtli, lowers their estimate of men, and their re- verence for women, cherislies an eager and aimless rivalry, weakens true feeling, wipes away the bloom of true modesty, and induces an ennui, a satiety, and a kind of dilettante misanthropy, which is only the more monstrous because it is undoubtedly real. You shall hear young men of intelligence and cul- tivation, to whom the unprecedented circumstances of this country offer opportunities of a great and beneficent career, complaining that they were born within this blighted circle ; regretting that they were not bakers and tallow-chandlers, and under no obligation to keep up appearances ; deliberately surrendering all the golden possibilities of that fu- ture which this country, beyond all others, holds before them ; sighing that they are not rich enough to marry the girls they love, and bitterly upbraiding fortune that they are not millionaires ; suffering the vigor of their years to exhale in idle wishes and pointless regi-ets ; disgracing their manhood by lying in wait behind their " so gentlemanly" and " aristocratic" manners, until they can pounce upon a " fortune" and ensnare an heiress into matrimony : and so, having dragged their gifts — their horses of the sun — ^into a service which shames out of them all their native pride and power, they sink in the 30 THE roTiPiiAE papers. mire ; and their peers and emulators exclaim that they have " made a good thing of it." Are these the processes by which a noble race is made and perpetuated? At Mrs. Potipbar's we beard several Pendennises longing for a similar lux- ury, and announcing their firm purpose never to have wives nor houses until they could have them as splendid as jewelled Mrs. Potiphar, and her palace, thirty feet front. Where were their heads, and their hearts, and their arms? How looks this craven de- spondency, before the stern virtues of the ages we call dark ? When a man is so voluntarily imbecile as to regret he is not rich, if that is what be wants, before he has struck a blow for wealth ; or so das- tai'dly as to renounce the prospect of love, ^because, sitting sighing, in velvet dressing-gown and slippers, he does not see his way clear to ten thousand a year : when young women coifTed a merocille, of un- exceptionable "style," who, with or without a pros- pective" penny, secretly look down upon honest wo- men who struggle for a livelihood, like noble and Christian beings, and, as such, are rewarded; in whose society a man must forget that be has ever read, thought, or felt ; who destroy in the mind the fair ideal of woman, which the genius of art, and poetry, and love, their inspirer has created; then, it seems to us, it is high time that the subject should "OUR BEST SOCIETY.'' 81 be regarded, not as a matter of breaking butterflies upon the wheel, but as a sad and sober question, in whose solution, all fathers and mothers, and the state itself, are interested. When keen observers, and men of the world, from Europe, are amazed and appalled at the giddy whirl and frenzied rush of our society — a society singular in history for the exag- gerated prominence it assigns to wealth, iiTespective of the, talents that amassed it, they and their pos- sessor being usually hustled out of sight — is it not quite time to ponder a little upon the Court of Louis XIV., and the " merrie days" of King Charles II? Is it not clear that, if what our good wag, with caustic irony, called " best society," wei-e really such, every thoughtful man would read upon Mrs. Potiphar's softly-tinted walls the terrible " mene, mene" of an imminent destruction? Venice in her purple prime of luxury, when the famous law was passed making all gondolas black, that the nobles should not squander fortunes upon them, was not more luxurious than New York to- day. Our hotels have a superficial splendor, derived from a profusion of gilt and paint, wood and da- mask. Yet, in not one of them can the traveller be so quietly comfortable as in an English inn, and nowhere in New York can the stranger procure a dinner, at once so neat and elegant, and economical, 32 THE rOTiniAE PAPERS. as at scores of cafes in Paris. The fever of display has consumed comfort. A gondola plated with gold was no easier than a black wooden one. We could well spare a little gilt upon the walls, for more cleanliness upon the public table ; nor is it worth while to cover the walls with mirrors to reflect a want of comfort. One prefers a wooden bench to a greasy velvet cushion, and a sanded floor to a soil- ed and threadbare carpet. An insipid uniformity is the Procrustes-bed, upon which " society" is stretch- ed. Every new house is the counterpart of every other, with the exception of more gilt, if the owner can afford it. The interior arrangement, instead of being characteristic, instead of revealing something of the tastes and feelings of the owner, is rigorously conformed to every other intei-ior. The same hol- low and tame complaisance rules in the intercourse of society. Who dares say precisely what he thinks upon a great topic ? What youth ventures to say sharp things, of slavery, for instairce, at a polite dinner-table ? What girl dares wear curls, when Martelle prescribes puffs or bandeaux ? What spe- cimen of Young America dares have his trowsers loose or wear straps to them ? We want individu- ality, heroism, and, if necessarj', an uncompromising persistence in difference. This is tlie present state of parties. They arc "OUE BEST SOCIETY." 33 wildly extravagant, full of senseless display; the}^ are avoided by the pleasant and intelligent, and swarm with reckless remments of " Brown's men." The ends of the earth contribute their choicest pro- ducts to the supper, and there is everything that wealth can purchase, and all the spacious splendor that thirty feet front can afford. They are hot, and crowded, and glaring. There is a little weak scan- dal, venomous, not witty, and a stream of weary platitude, mortifying to every sensible person. Will any of our Pendennis friends intermit their iadigna- tion for a moment, and consider how many good things they have said or heard during the season ? If Mr. Potiphar's eyes should chance to fall here, will he reckon the amount of satisfaction and en- joyment he derived from Mrs. Potiphar's ball, and will that lady candidly confess what she gained from it beside weariness and disgust? What eloquent sermons we remember to have heard in which the sins and the sinners of Babylon, Jericho and Gomor- rali were scathed with holy indignation. The cloth is very hard upon Cain, and completely routs the erring kings of Judah. The Spanish Inquisition, too, gets frightful knocks, and there is much eloquent exhortation to preach the gospel in the interior of Siam. Let it be preached there and God speed the Word. But 2* 34 THE POTIPHAE PAPERS. also let US have a text or two in Broadway and the Avenue. The best sermon ever preached upon society, witliin our knowledge, is "Vanity Fair." Is the spirit of that story less true of Xew York than of London? Probably we never see Amelia at our parties, nor Lieutenant George Osborne, nor good gawky Dobbin, nor Mrs. Rebecca Sharp Crawley, nor old Steyne. We are very much pained, of course, that any author should take such dreary views of human nature. We, for our parts, all go to Mrs. Potiphar's to refresh our faith in men and wo- men. Generosity, amiability, a catholic charity, simplicity, taste, sense, high cultivation, and intelli- gence, distinguish our parties. The statesman seeks their stimulating influence ; the literary man, after the day's labor, desires the repose of their elegant conversation ; the professional man and the mer- chant huriy up from down town to shuffle off the coil of heavy duty, and forget the drudgery of life in the agreeable picture of its amenities and graces presented by Mrs. Potiphar's ball. Is this account of the matter, or " Vanity Fair," the satire ? What are the prospects of any society of which that tale is the true history? There is a picture iu the Luxembourg gallery at Paris, " The Decadence of the Romans," which made "OUE BEST SOCIETY." 35 the fame and fortune of Couture, the painter. It represents an orgie in the court of a temple, during the last days of Rome. A swarm of revellers occupy the middle of the picture, wreathed in elaborate in- tricacy of luxurious posture, men and women inter mingled ; their faces, in which the old Eoman fire scarcely flickers, brutalized with excess of every kind ; their heads of dishevelled hair bound with coronals of leaves, while, from goblets of an antique grace, they drain the fiery torrent which is destroy- ing them. Around the bacchanalian feast stand, lofty upon pedestals, the statues of old Rome, look- ing, with marble calmness and the severity of a re- buke beyond words, upon the revellers. A youth of boyish grace, with a wreath woven in his tangled hair, and with red and drowsy eyes, sits listless upon one pedestal, while upon another stands a boy in- sane with drunkenness, and profiering a dripping goblet to the marble mouth of the statue. In the corner of the pictm"e, as if just quitting the court — Rome finally departing — ^is a group of Romans with care-worn brows, and hands raised to their faces in melancholy meditation. In the foreground of the picture, which is painted with all the sumptuous splendor of Venetian art, is a stately vase, around which hangs a festoon of gorgeous flowers, its end dragging upon the pavement. In the background, 36 THE POTIPIIAE PAPERS. between the columns, smiles the blue skj^ of Italy — the only thing Italian not deteriorated by time. The careful student of this picture, if lie have been long in Paris, is some day startled by detecting, especially in the faces of the women represented, a surprising likeness to the women of Paris, and perceives, witli a thrill of dismay, that the models for this picture of decadent human nature are furnished by the very city in which he lives. II. OUR NEW LIVERY, AND OTHER THINGS. A LETTER FROM MRS. POTIPHAR TO MISS CAROLINE PETTITOES. OUR NEW LIVERY, AND OTHER THINGS A LETTER FROM MRS. POTII'HAR TO MISS CAROLINE PETTITOES. New Tore, April. My dear Caroline, — ^Lent came so frightfully early this year, that I was very much afraid my new bonnet, a rimperatrice would not be out from Paris soon enough. But fortunately it arrived just in time, and I had the satisfaction of taking down the pride of Mrs. Croesus, who fancied hers would be the only stylish hat in church the first Sunday. She could not keep her eyes away from me, and I sat so unmoved, and so calmly looking at the Doctor, that she was quite vexed. But, whenever she turn- ed away, I ran my eyes over the whole congregation, and would you believe that, almost without an ex- ception, people had their old things? However, I suppose they forgot how soon Lent was coming. As I was passing out of church, Mrs. Croesus brushed by me. "Ah!" said she, " good morning. Why, bless me! you've got that pretty hat I saw at Lawson's. 4:0 THE POTIPHAE PAl'ERS. Well, now, it's really quite prctt}^ ; Lawson lias some taste left yet ; what a lovelj^ sermon the Doc- tor gave ns. By-tlie-b}', did }^ou know that Mrs. Gnu has actually bought the blue velvet ? It's too bad, because I wanted to cover my prayer-book with blue, and she sits so near, the effect of my booli will be quite spoiled. Dear me ! there she is beckoning to me : good-by, do come and see us ; Tuesda3's, you know. Well, Lawson really does very well." I was so mad with the old thing, that I could not help catching her by her mantle and holding on while I whispered, loud enough for everybody to hear : " Mrs. Croesus, you see I have just got my bon- net from Paris. It's made after the Empress's. If you would like to have yours made over in the fashion, dear Mrs. Croesus, I shall be so glad to lend you mine." "No, thank you, dear," said she, "Lawson won't do for me. By-by." And so she slipped out, and, I've no doubt, told Mrs. Gnu that she had seen my bonnet at Lawson's. Isn't it too bad? Then she is so abominably cool. Somehow, when I'm talking with Mrs. Croesus, who has all her own things made at home, I don't feel as if mine came from Paris at all. She has such a way of looking at you, that it's quite dreadful. She OUR NEW LIVERY, ETC. 41 seems to be saying in her mind, " La ! now, well done, little dear." And I think that kind of mental reservation (I think that's what they call it) is an insupportable impertinence. However, I don't care, do you? I've so many things to tell you that I hardly know where to begin. The great thing is the livery, but I want to come regularly up to that, and forget no- thing by the way. I was uncertain for a long time how to have my prayer-book bound. Finally, after thinking about it a great deal, I concluded t(y have it done in pale blue velvet", with gold clasps, and a gold ci'oss upon the side. To be sure, it's nothing very new. But what is new now-a-days? Sally Shrimp has had hers done in emerald, and I know Mrs. Croesus will have crimson for hers, and those people who sit next us in church (I wonder who they are; it's very unpleasant to sit next to people you don't know; and, positively, that girl, the dark- haired one with large e3'es, carries the same muff she did last year ; it's big enough for a family) have a kind of brown morocco binding. I must tell you one reason why I fixed upon the pale blue. You know that aristocratic-looking young man, in white cravat, and black pantaloons and waistcoat, whom we saw at Saratoga a year ago, and who always had such a beautiful sanctimonious look, and such small 42 THE POTIPHAR PAPERS. white lianxls ; well, he is a minister, as we supposed, " an unworthy candidate, an unprofitable husband- man," as he calls himself in that delicious voice of his. He has been quite taken up among us. He has been asked a good deal to dinner, and there was hope of his being settled as colleague to the Doctor, only Mr. Potiphar (who can be stubborn, you know) insisted that the Rev. Cream Cheese, though a very good young man, he didn't doubt, was addicted to candlesticks. I suppose that's something awful. But, could you believe anything awful of him? I asked Mr. Potiphar what he meant by saying such things. "I mean," said he, " that he's a Puseyite, and I've no idea of being tied to the aprou-strings of the Scarlet Woman." Dear Caroline, who is the Scarlet Woman ! Dear- est, tell me, upon your honor, if you have ever heard any scandal of Mr. Potiphar. " What is it about candlesticks ?" said I to Mr. Potiphar. " Perhaps Mr. Cheese finds gas too bright for his eyes; and that's his misfortune, not his fault." "Polly," said Mr. Potiphar — who will call me Polly, although it sounds so very vulgar — " please not to meddle with tilings you don't understand. You may have Cream Cheese to dinner as much as OUR KEW LIVERY, ETC. 43 you choose, but I will not have him in the pulpit of my church." The same day, Mr. Cheese happened in about lunch-time, and I asked him if his eyes were really weak. "Not at all," said he, " why do j-ou ask ?" Then I told him that I. had heard he was so fond of candlesticks. Ah! Caroline, you should have seen, him then. He stopped in the midst of pouring out a glass of Mr. P.'s best old port, and holding the decanter in one hand, and the glass in the other, he looked so beautifully sad, and said in that sweet low voice : . " Dear Mrs. Potiphar, the blood of the martyrs is the seed of the church." Then he filled up his glass, and drank the wine off with such a mournful, re- signed air, and wiped his lips so gently with his cambric handkerchief (I saw that it was a hem- stitch), that I had'no voice to ask him to take a bit of the cold chicken, which he did, however, with- out my asking him. But when he said in the same low voice, " A little more breast, dear Mrs. Poti- phar," I was obliged to run into the drawing-room for a moment, to recover myself. Well, after he had lunched, I told him that I wished to take his advice upon something connected with the church (for a prayer-book is, you know, 44 THE POTiniAR PAPERS. dear), and he looked so sweetly at me, that, would 3'ou believe it, I almost wished to-be a Catholic, and to confess three or four times a week, and to have him for mv confessor. But it's verj^ wicked to wish to be a Catholic, and it wasn't real much, j'ou know : but somehow I thouErht so. When I asked him in what velvet he would advise me to have my prayer-book bound, he talked beautifully for about twentj' minutes. I wish you could have heard him. I'm not sure that I understood much of what he said — how should I ? — but it was very beautiful. Don't laugh, Carry, but there was one thing I did understand, and which, as it came pretty often, cpite helped me through: it was, "Dear Mrs. Poti- phar;" you can't tell how nicely he says it. He began by telling me that it was very important to consider all the details and little things about the church. He said they were all tirabales or cymbals — or something of that kind ; and then he talked very prettily about the stole, and the violet and scarlet capes of the cardinals, and purple chasubles, and the lace edge of the Pope's little short gown ; and — do you know it was very funny — but it seemed to me, somehow, as if I was talking with Portier or Florine Lefcvre, except that he used such beautiful words. Well, by and by, he said : — " Therefore, dear Mrs. Potiphar, as your faith is OUR NEW LIVERY, ETC. 45 SO pure and childlike, and as I observe that the light from the yellow panes usually falls across your pew, I would advise that you C3'mbalize your faith (wouldn't that be noisy in church ?) by bind- ing your prayer-book in pale blue ; the color of skim-milk, dear Mrs. Potiphar, which is so full of pastoi-al associations." Why did he emphasize the word " pastoral ?" Do you wonder that I like Cream Cheese, dear Caroline, when he is so gentle and religious — and such a pretty religion, too ! For he is not only well-dressed, and has such aristocratic hands and feet, in the parlor, but he is so perfectly gentle- manly in the pulpit. He never raises his voice too loud, and he has such wavy gestures. Mr. Potiphar says that may be all very true, but he knows per- fectly well that he has a hankering for artificial flowers, and that, for his part, he prefers the Doc- tor to any preacher he ever heard ; " because," he says, " I can go quietly to sleep, confident that he will say nothing that might not be preached from every well-regulated pulpit ; whereas, if we should let Cream Cheese into the desk, I should have to keep awake to be on the lookout for some of these new-fangled idolatries : and, Polly Potiphar, I, for one, am determined to have nothing to do with the Scarlet Woman." 46 THE POTIPHAR PAPERS. Darling Caroline — I don't care mucli — but did he ever have anything to do with a Scarlet Wo- man ? After lie said that about artificial flowers, I ordered from Martelle the sweetest sprig of im- mortcllc he had in his shop, and sent it anony- mously on St. Valentine's day. Of course I didn't wish to do anything secret from my husband, that might make people talk, so I wrote — " Reverend Cream Cheese ; from his grateful SJam-mUJc." I marked the last words, and hope he understood that that I meant to express my thanks for his advice about the pale-blue cover. You don't think it was too romantic, do you, dear ? You can imagine how pleasantly Lent is passing since I see so much of him : and then it is so appro- priate to Lent to be intimate with a minister. He goes with me to church a great deal ; for Mr. Poti- phar, of course, has no time for that, except on Sundays ; and it is really delightful to see such piety. He makes the responses in the most musical manner ; and when he kneels upon entering the pew, he is the admiration of the whole church. He buries his face entirely in a cloud of cambric pocket-handkerchief, with his initial embroidered at the corner ; and his hair is beautifully parted down behind, which is very fortunate, as otherwise it OUR NEW LIVERY, ETC. 47 would look SO badly when only half his head showed. I feel so good when I sit by his side ; and when the Doctor (as Mr. P. says) " blows up" those terrible sinners in Babylon and other Bible towns, I always find the Rev. Cream's eyes fixed upon me, with so much sweet sadness, that I am very, very sorry for the naughty people the Doctor talks about. Why did they do so, do you suppose, dear Caroline ? How thankful we ought to be that we live now with so many churches, and such fine ones, and with such gentlemanly ministers as Mr. Cheese. And how nicely it's arranged that, after dancing and dining for two or three months con- stantly, during which, of course, we can only go to church Sundays, there comes a time for stopping, when we're tired out, and for going to church every day, and (as Mr. P. says) " striking a balance ;" and thinking about being good, and all those things. We don't lose a great deal, you know. It makes a variety, and we all see each other, just the samef only we don't dance. I do think it would be bet- ter if we took our lorgnettes with us, however ; for it was only last Wednesday, at nine o'clock prayers, that I saw Sheena Silke across the church, in their little pew at the corner, and I am sure that she had a new bonnet on ; and yet, though I looked at it all the time, trying to find out, prayers were fairly 4S THE rOTirnAR TAPERS. over before I discovered whether it was really new, or only that old white one made over with a few new flowers. Now, if I had had my glass, I could have told in a moment, and shouldn't have been obliged to lose all the prayers. But, as I was saying, those poor old people in Babylon and Nineveh ! only think, if they had had the privilege of prayers for six or seven weeks in Lent, and regular preaching the rest of the year, except, of course, in the summer — (by-the-by, I wonder if they all had some kind of Saratoga or Newport to go to? — ^I mean to ask Mr. Cheese) — they might have been good, and all have been happy. It's quite awful to hear how eloquent and earnest the Doctor is when he preaches against Babylon. Mr. P. says he likes to have him " pitch into those old sinners ; it does 'em so much good :" and then he looks quite fierce. Mr. Cheese is going to read me a sermon he has written upon the maid- enhood of Lot's wife. He says that he cjuotes a great deal of poetry in it, and that I must dam up the fount of my tears when he reads it. It was an odd expression for a minister, wasn't it? and I was obliged to say, " Mr. Cheese, you forgot your- self." He replied, " Dear Mrs. Potiphar, I will explain;" and he did so; so that I admired him more than ever. OUE NEW LIVERY, ETC. 49 Dearest Caroline — if jo\i should only like him ! He asked one day ahout j'ou ; and when I told him what a dear, good girl you are, he said : " And her father has worldly possessions, has he not ?" I answered, yes ; that your father was very rich. Then he sighed, and said that he could never marry an heiress unless he clearly saw it to be his duty. Isn't it a beautiful resignation ? I had no idea of saying so much about him, but you know it's proper, when writing a letter in Lent, to talk about religious matters. And, I must con- fess, there is something comfortable in having to do with such things. Don't j'ou feel better, when you've been dancing all the week, and dining, and going to the opera, and flirting and flying around, tc go to church on Sundays ? I do. It seems, some- how, as if we ought to go. But I do wish Mrs. Croesus would sit somewhere else than just in front of us ; for her new bonnets and her splendid collars and capes make me quite miserable, and then she puts me out of conceit of my things by talking about Lawson, or somebody, as I told you in the beginning. Mr. Potiphar has sent out for the new carpets. I had only two spoiled at my ball, you know, and that was very little. One always expects to sacri- fice at least two carpets upon occasion of seeing 50 THE POTIPHAR PAPERS. one's friends. The handsome one in the supper- room was entu'ely ruined. Would you believe that Mr. P., when he went dowa stairs the next morning found our Fred, and his cousin hoeing it with their little hoes? It was entirely matted with presen'es and things, and the boys said they were scraping it clean for breakfast. The other spoiled carpet was in the gentlemen's dressing-room where the punch- bowl was. Young Gauche Boosey, a very gentle- manly fellow, you know, ran up after polking, and was so confused with the light and heat that he went quite unsteadily, and as he was trying to fill a glass with the silver ladle (which is rather heavy), he somehow leaned too hard upon the table, and down went the whole thing, table, bowl, punch, and Boo- sey, and ended my poor carpet. I was sorry for that, and also for the bowl, which was a very hand- some one, imported from China by my father's part- ner — a wedding-gift to me — and for the table, a delicate rosewood stand, which was a work-table of my sister Lucy's — whom you never knew, and who died long and long ago. However, I was amply repaid by Boosey's drollery afterwards. He is a very witty young man, and when he got up from the floor, saturated with punch (his clothes I mean), he looked down at the carpet and said : OUR NEW LIVERY, ETC. 61 "Well, I've given that such a punch it will want some lemon-aid to recover." I suppose he had some idea about lemon acid taking out spots But, the best thing was what he had said to me. He is so droll that he insisted upon coming down, and finishing the dance just as he was. The funny fel- low brushed against all the -dresses in his way, and, finally, said to me, as he pointed to a lemon-seed upon his coat : " I feel so very lemon-choly for what I have done." I laughed very much (you were in the other room), but Mr. P. stepped up and ordered him to ■leave the. house. Boosey said he would do no such thing ; and I have no doubt we should have had a scene, if Mr. P. had not marched him straight to the door, and put him into a carriage, and told the dri- ver where to take him. Mr. P. was red enough when he came back. " No man shall insult me or my guests, by get- ting drunk in my house," said he ; and he has since asked me not to invite Boosey nor " any of his kind," as he calls them, to our house. However, I think it will pass over. I tell him that all young men of spirit get a litle excited with wine somer times, and he mustn't be too hard upon them. 52 TUE POTIPIIAR PAPEES. " Madame," said he to me, the first time I ven- tured to say that, "no man with genuine self-re- spect ever gets drunk, twice ; and if you had the faintest idea of the misery whicli a little elegant in- toxication has produced in scores of families that you know, you would never insinuate again that a little excitement from wine is an agreeable thing. There's your friend Mrs. Croesus (he thinks she's my friend, because we call each other ' dear' !) ; she is delight- ed to be a fashionable woman, and to be described as the ' peerless and accomplished Mrs C-oe-s,' in letters from the watering-places to the Herald ; but I tell you, if anything of the woman or the mother is left in the fashionable Mrs. Croesus, I could wring her heart as it never was wrung — and never shall be by me — by showing her the places that young Timon Croesus haunts, the people witk whom he associates, and the drunkenness, gambling, and worse dissipations of which he is guilty. "Timon Croesus is eighteen or nineteen, or, per- haps, twenty j'ears old ; and, Polly, I tell you, he is actually blase, worn out with dissipation, the com- panion of blacklegs, the chevalier of Cyprians, tipsy every night, and haggard every morning. Timon Croesus is the puny caricature of a man, mentally, morally, ph^-sically. He gets 'elegantly intoxicated' at your parties ; he goes off to sup with Gauche OUR NEW LIVERY, ETC 53 Boosey ; you and Mrs. Croesus think them young men of spirit — it is an exhilarating case of sowing wild-oats, you fancy — and when, at twenty-five, Timon Croesus stands ruined in the world, without aims or capacities, without the esteem of a single man or his own self-respect — youth, health, hope, and energy, all gone for ever — then you and your dear Mrs. Croesus will probably wonder at the horri- ble harvest. Mrs. Potiphar, ask the Eev. Cream Cheese to omit his sermon upon the maidenhood of Lot's wife, and preach from this text : ' They that sow the wind shall reap the whirlwind.' Good heav- ens ! Polly, fancy our Fred, growing up to such a life ! I'd rather bury him to-morrow !" I never saw Mr. P. so much excited. He fairly put his handkerchief to bis eyes, and I really be- lieve he cried ! But I think he exaggerates these things : and as he had a very dear friend who went worse and worse, until he died frightfully a drunk- ard, it is not strange he should speak so warmly about it. But as Mrs. Croesus says : " What can you do ? You can't curb these boys, you don't want to break -their spirits, you don't want to make them milk-sops." When I repeated the speech to Mr. P.', he said to me with a kind of solemnity : " Tell Mrs. Croesus that I am not here to judge 54 THE POTIPHAR PAPERS. nor dictate: but she may be well assured, that every parent is responsible for everj^ child of his to the utmost of the influence he can exert, whether he chooses to consider himself so or not ; and if not now, in this world, yet somewhere and some- how, he must hear and heed the voice that called to Cain in the garden, 'Where is Abel, thy bro- ther?'" I can't bear to hear Mr. P. talk in that way ; it sounds so like preaching. Not precisely like what I hear at church, but like what we mean when we say "preaching," without referring to any particu- lar sermon. However, he grants that young Timon is an extreme case : but he says, it is the result that proves the principle, and a state of feeling which not only allows, but indirectly fosters, that re- sult, is frightful to think of. " Don't think of it, then, Mr. P.," said I. He looked at me for a moment with the sternest scowl I ever saw upon a man's face, then he suddenly ran up to me, and kissed me on the forehead (although my hair was all dressed for Mrs. Gnu's dinner), and went out of the house. He hasn't said much to me since, but he speaks very gently when he does speak, and sometimes I catch him looking at me in such a sin- gular way, so half mournful, that Mr. Cheese's eyes don't seem so very sad, after all. OUR NEW LIVERY, ETC! 55 However, to return to the party, I believe nothing else was injured except the curtains in the front drawing-room, which were so smeared with ice- cream and oyster gravy, that we must get new ones ; and the cover of my porcelain tureen was broken by the servant, though the man said he really didn't mean to do it, and I could say nothing ; and a party of young men, after the German Cotillon, did let fall that superb cut-glass Claret, and shivered it, with a dozen of the delicately-engraved straw-stems that stood upon the waiter. That was all, I be- lieve — oh ! except that fine " Dresden Gallery," the most splendid book I ever saw, full of engravings of the great pictures in Dresden, Vienna, and the other Italian towns, and which was sent to Mr. P. by an old friend, an artist, whom he had helped along when he was very poor. Somebody unfortunately tipped over a bottle of claret that stood upon the table, (I am sure, I don't know how it got there, though Mr. P. says Gauche Boosey knows), and it lay soaking into the book, so that almost every pic- ture has a claret stain, which looks so funny. I am very sorry, I am sure, but, as I tell Mr. P., it's no use crying for spilt milk. I was telling Mr. Boosey of it at the Gnus' dinner. He laughed very much, and when I said that a good many of the faces were sadly stained, he said iii his droll way, " You ought 56 THE POTIPHAE PAPERS. to call it L'opera di Bordeaux ; Le Domino rovge." I supposed it was sometliing funu}-, so I laughed a good deal. He said to me later : "Shall I pour a little claret into your book — I mean into your glass V" Wasn't it a pretty hon-mot ? Don't you think we are getting very sjnriliid in this countr}' ? I believe there was nothing else injured except the bed-hangings in the back-room, which were somehow badly burnt and very much torn in pull- ing down, and a few of our handsomest shades that were cracked by the heat, and a few plates, which it was hardly fair to expect wouldn't be broken, and the colored glass door in my escritoire, against which Flattie Podge fell as she was dancing with Gauche Boosey ; but he may have been a little ex- cited, you know, and she, poor girl, couldn't help tumbling, and as her head hit the glass, of course it broke, and cut her head badly, so that the blood ran down and naturally spoiled her dress ; and what little escritoire could stand against Flattie Podge ? So that went, and was a good deal smashed in fall- ing. That's all, I think, except that the next day Mrs. Croesus sent a note, saying that she had lost her largest diamond from her necklace, and she was sure that it was not in the carriage, nor in her own house, OUR NEW LIVEKT, ETC. 57 nor upon the sidewalk, for she had carefully looked everywhere, and she would he very glad if I would return it by the hearer. Think of that ! Well, we hunted everywhere, and found no dia- mond. I took particular pains to ask the servants if they had found it ; for if they had, they might as well give it up at once, without expecting any re- ward from Mrs. Croesus, who wasn't very generous. But they all said they hadn't found any diamond : and our man John, who you know is so guileless — although it was a little mysterious about that emer- ald pin of mine — brought me a bit of glass that had been nicked out of my large custard dish, and asked me if that was not Mrs. Croesus's diamond. I told "him no, and gave him a gold dollar for his honesty. John is an invaluable servant; he is so guileless. Do you laiow I am not so sure about Mrs. Crcesus's diamond ! Mr. P. made a great growling about the ball. But it was very foolish ; for he got safely to bed by six o'clock, and he need have no trouble about re- placing the curtains, and glass, etc. I shall do all that, and the sum-total will be sent to him in a lump, so that he can pay it. Men are so unreasonable. Fancy us at seven 58 TUE POTIPHAR PAPERS. o'clock that morning, when I retired. He wasn't asleep. But whose fault was that? "Polly," said he, "that's the last." "Last what?" said I. " Last ball at my house," said he. " Fiddle-dee-dee," said L " I tell you, Mrs. Potiphar, I am not going to open my house for a crowd of people who don't go away till daylight; who spoil my books and furni- ture ; who involve me in a foolish expense ; for a gang of rowdy boys, who drink my Margaux, and Lafitte, and Marcobrunner, (what kind of drinks are those, dear Caroline?) and who don't know Cham- bertin from liquorice- water — for a swarm of per- sons, few of whom know me, fewer still care for me, and to whom I am only ' Old Potiphar,' the hus- band of you, a fashionable woman. I am simply resolved to have no more such tomfoolery in my house." " Dear Mr. P.," said I, " you'll feel much better when you have slept. Besides, why do you say such things ? Mustn't we see our friends, I should like to know; and, if we do, are you going to let your wife receive them in a manner inferior to old Mrs. Podge or Mrs. CrcEsus ? People will accuse you of meanness, and of treating me ill ; and if some persons hear that you have reduced your style of OUK NEW LIVEKY, ETC. 59 living they ■will begin to suspect the state of your affairs. Don't make any rash vows, Mr. P.," said I, " but go to sleep." (Do you know that speech was just what Mrs. Croesus told me she had said to her husband under similar circumstances ?) Mr. P. fairly groaned, and I heard that short, strong little word that sometimes inadvertently drops out of the best regulated mouths, as young Gooseberry Downe says when he swears before his mother. Do you know Mrs. Settum Downe? Charming woman, but satirical. Mr. P. groanfed, and said some more ill-natured things, until the clock struck nine, and he was obliged to get up. I should be sorry to say to any- body but you, dearest, that I was rather glad of it ; for I could then fall asleep at my ease ; and these little connubial felicities (I think they call them) are so tiresome. But everybody agreed it was a beau- tiful ball ; and I had the great gratification of hear- ing young Lord Mount Ague (you know you danced with him, love) say that it was quite the same thing as a ball at Buckingham Palace, except, of course, in size, and the number of persons, and dresses, and jewels, and the plate, and glass, and supper, and wines, and furnishing of the rooms, and lights, and some of those things, which are naturally upon a 60 THE POTIPHAR PAPERS. larger scale at a palace than in a private house. But, he said, excepting such things, it was quite as fine. I am afraid Lord Mount Ague flatters ; just a little bit, you know. Yes; and there was young Major Staggers, who said that " Decidedly it was the party of the season." " How odd," said Mrs. Croesus, to whom I told it, and, I confess, with a little pride. " What a sym- pathetic man : that is, for a military man, I mean. Would you believe, dear Mrs. Potiphar, that he said precisely the same thing to me two days after my ball?" Now, Caroline, dearest, perhaps he did ! With all these pleasant things said about one's party, I cannot see that it is such a dismal thing as Mr. P. tries to make out. After one of his solemn talks, I asked Mr. Cheese what he thought of balls, whether it was so very wicked to dance, and go to parties, if one only went to church twice a day on Sundays. He patted his lips a moment with his handkerchief, and then he said — and, Caroline, you can always quote the Eev. Cream Cheese as au- thority — " Dear Mrs. Potiphar, it is recorded in Holy Scripture that the King danced before the Lord." Darling, if aiujUdng should happen, I don't believe he would object much to your dancing. OUK NEW LIVERY, ETC. 61 What gossiiDS we women are, to be sure ! I meant to write you about our new livery, and I am afraid I have tired you out already. You remember when you were here, I said that I meant to have a livery ; for my sister Margaret told me that when they used to drive in Hyde Park, with the old Mar- quis of Mammon, it was always so delightful -to hear him say, " Ah! there is Lady Lobster's liverj^." It was so aristocratic. And in countries where certain colors distinguish certain families, and are hereditary, so to say, it is convenient and pleasant to recognize a coat-of-arms, or a livery, and to know that the representative of a great and famous family is passing by. " That's a Howard, that's a Russell, that's a Dorset, that's de Colique, that's Mount Ague," old Lord Mammon used to say as the carriages whirled by. He knew none of them personally, I believe, except de Colique and Mount Ague, but then it was so agreeable to be able to know their liveries. Now, why shouldn't we have the same arrange- ment? Why not have the Smith colors, and the Brown colors, and the Black colors, and the Poti- phar colors, etc., so that the people might saj', " Ah ! there go the Potiphar arms." There is one difficulty, Mr. P. says, and that is. 62 TlIK POTIPIIAll PAPERS. that he found five hundred and sixty-seven Smiths in the Directoiy, which might lead to some con- fusion. But that was absurd, as I told him, be- cause ever3'body would know which of the Smiths was able to keep a carriage, so that the livery would be recognized directly the moment that any of the- family were seen in the carriage. Upon which he said, in his provoking waj"-, " Why have any livery at all, then ?" and he persisted in saying thatno Smith was everi/ieSmithforthreegenerations, and that he knew at least twenty, each of whom was able to set up his carnage and stand by his colors. "But then a livery is so elegant and aristocratic," said I, " and it shows that a servant is a servant.'' That last was a strong argument, and I thought Mr. P. would have nothing to say against it ; but he rattled on for some time, asking me what right I had to be aristocratic, or, in fact, anybody else ; went over bis eternal old talk about aping foreign habits, as if we hadn't a right to adopt the good usages of all nations, and finally said that the use of liveries among us was not only a " pure peacock absurdity," as he called it, but that no genuine American would ever ask another to assume a menial badge. "Why?" said I, "is not an American servant a servant still ?" OUR NEW LIVERY, ETC. 63 " Most undoubtedly," he said ; " and when a man is a servant, let him serve faithfully; and in this country especially, where to-morrow he may be the served, and not the servant, let him not be ashamed of serving. But Mrs. Potijjhar, I beg you to observe that a servant's livery is not, like a gene- ral's uniform, the badge of honorable service, but of menial service. Of course, a servant may be as honorable as a general, and his work quite as neces- sary and well done. But, for all that, it is not so respected nor coveted a situation, I believe; and, in social estimation, a man suffers by wearing a livery, as he never would if he wore none. And while in countries in which a man is proud of being a servant (as every man may well be of being a good one), and never looks to anything else, nor desires any change, a livery may be very proper to the state of society, and very agreeable to his own feelings; it is quite another thing in a society constituted upon altogether different principles, where the sei-vant of to-day is the senator of to-morrow. Besides that, which I suppose is too fine-spun for you, livery is a remnant of a feudal state, of which we abolish every trace as fast as we can. That which is represented by livery is not consonant with our principles." How the man runs on, when he gets going this way! I said, in answer to all this flourish, that I 64- THE POTIPHAE PAPERS. considered a livery very much the thing; that Eu- ropean families bad liveries, and American families might have liveries; that there was an end of it, and I meant to have one. Besides, if it is a matter of family, I should like to know who has a better right ? There was Mr. Potiphar's grandfather, to be sure, was only a skillful blacksmith and a good citizen, as Mr. P. says, who brought up a familj' in the fear of the Lord. How oddly he puts those things ! But my ancestors, as you know, are a different matter. Starr Mole, who interests himself in gene- alogies, and knows the family name and crest of all the English nobility, has " climbed our family tree," as Staggers says, and finds that I am lineally descend- ed from one of those two brothers who came over in some of those old times, in some of those old ships, and settled in some of those old places some- where. So you see, dear Caroline, if birth give any one a right to coats of arms and liveries, and all those things, I feel myself sufficiently entitled to have them. But I don't care anything about that. The Gnus, and Croesuses, and Silkes, and the Settum Downes, have their coats of arms, and crests, and liveries, and I am not going to be behind, I tell you. Mr. P. ought to remember that a great many of these fami- OUE NEW LIVEEY, ETC. 65 lies were famous before they came to this country, and there is a kind of interest in having on your ring, for instance, the same crest that j'our ancestor two or three centuries ago had upon lier ring. One day I was quite wrought up about the matter, and I said as much to hiiti. "Certainly," said he, "certainly; }'^ou are quite right. If I had Sir Philip Sidney to my ancestor, I sliould wear his crest upon my ring, and glory in my relationship, and I hope I should be a better man for it. I wouldn't put his arms upon my carriage, however, because that would mean nothing but ostentation. It would be merely a flourish of trum- pets to say that I was his descendant, and nobody would know that, either, if my name chanced to be Boggs. In my library I might hang a copy of the family escutcheon as a matter of interest and curi- osity to myself, for I'm sure I shouldn't understand it. Do you suppose Mrs. Gnu knows what gvles argent are? A man may be as proud of his family as he chooses, and, if he have noble ancestors, with good reason. But there is no sense in parading that pride. It is'an affectation, the more foolish that it achieves nothing — no more credit at Stewart's — no more real respect in society. Besides, Polly, who were Mrs. Gnu's ancestors, or Mrs. Croesus's, or Mrs. Settum Downe's? Good, quiet, honest, and 66 THE POTIPHAE PAPEES. humble people, who did their work, and rest from their labor. Centuries ago, in England, some drops of blood from ' noble' veins may have mingled with the blood of their forefathers ; or even, the founder of the family name may be historically famous. What then ? Is Mrs. Gnu's family ostentation less absurd ? Do you understand the meaning of her crest, and coats of arms, and liveries? Do you suppose she does herself? But in forty-nine cases out of fifty, there is nothing but a similarity of name upon which to found all this flourish of aristocracy." My dear old Pot is getting rather prosy, Carrie. So, when he had finished that long speech, during which I was looking at the lovely fashion-plates in Harper, I said: " What colors do you think I'd better have ?" He looked at me with that singular expression, and went out suddenly, as if he were afraid he might say something. He had scarcely gone before I heard : "My dear Mrs. Potiphar, the sight of you is re- freshing as Hermou's dew." I colored a little ; Mr. Cheese says such things so softly. But I said good morning, and then asked him about liveries, etc. He raised his hand to his cravat (it was the most snowy lawn, Carrie, and tied in a splendid bow). OUR NEW LIVEEY, ETC. 67 "Is not this a livery, clear Mrs. Potiphar?" And then he went off into one of those pretty- talks, in what Jlr. P. calls " the laneavy ruby necklace (it is a low-necked dress). The dining-room at the " United States" is so large that it shows off those dresses finely, and if the waiter don't let the soup or the gravy slip, and your neighbor (who is, like as not, what Tabby Dormouse, with her incapacity to pronounce the r, calls "some 'aw, 'ufFman from the country"), doesn't put the leg of his chair through the dress, and if you don't muss it sitting down — why, I should like to know a prettier place to wear a low-necked muslin, with jewels, than the dining-room of the " United States" at Saratoga. Kurz Pacha, the Sennaar minister, who was up there, and who is so smitten with Mrs. Potiphar, said that he had known few happier moments in this country than the dining hour at the " United States." " When the gong sounds," says he, " I am re- minded of the martial music of Sennaar. When I seat myself in the midst of such splendor of toilette, and in an apartment so stately and so appropriate for that display, I recall the taste of the Crim Tar- tars, to whose ruler I had the honor of being first 118 THE POTIPHAE PAPERS. accredited ambassador. When I behold, with as tonished eyes, the entrance of that sable society, the measured echo of whose footfalls so properly silences the conversation of all the nobles, I seem to see the regular army of ray beloved Sennaar in- vesting a conquered city. This, I cry to myself, with enthusiasm, this is the height of civilization ; and I privately hand one of the privates in that grand army a gold dollar, to bring me a dish of beans. Each green bean, greener envoy extraor- dinary, I say to myself with rapture, should be well worth its weight in gold, when served to such a congress of kings, queens, and Irereditary prince- royals as are assembled here. And I find,'" conti- nues the Pacha, " that I am right. The guest at this banquet is admitted to the freedom of corn and potatoes, only after negotiations with the sable military. It is quite the perfection of organization. What hints I shall gather for the innocent pleasure- seekers of Sennaar, who still fancy that when the}'- bargain for a draught of rose sherbet, they have tacitly agreed for a glass to drink it from ! "Why, the first day I came," he went on, "I was going to my room, and met the chambermaid coming out. Now, as I had paid a coloi'ed gentle- man a dollar for my dinner, in addition to the little bill which I settle at the office, I thought it was MINEEVA TATTLE'S DIARY. 119 equally necessary to secure my bed by a slight fee to the goddess of the chambers. I, therefore, pulled out my purse, and offered her a bill of a small amount. She turned the color of tomatoes. " ' Sir,' exclaimed she, and with dignity, ' do you mean to insult me?' " ' Good heavens, miss,' cried I, ' quite the con- trary,' and thinking it was not enough, I presented another bill of a larger amount. " ' Sir,' said she, half-sobbing, ' you are no gen- tleman ; I shall leave the house !' " I was very much perplexed. I began again : " ' Miss — my dear — I mean madam — how much must I pay you to secure my room ?' " ' I don't understand you, sir,' replied the cham- bermaid, somewhat mollified. " ' Why, my dear girl, if I paid Sambo a dollar for my dinner, I expect to pay Dolly something for my chamber, of course.' " ' Well, sir, you are certainly very kind, I — with pleasure, I'm sure,' replied she, entirely ap- peased, taking the money, and vanishing. " I," said Kurz Pacha, " entered my room and locked the door. But I believe I was a little hasty about giving her the money. The perfection of civilization has not yet mounted the stairs. It is confined to the dining-room. How beautiful is that 120 THE I'OTIPHAR PAPEKS. sti-ain from the Favori./a, Miss Minen'fi, turn turn, ti ti, turn turn, tee tee," and the delightful Sennaar ambassador, seeing Mrs. Potiphar in the parlor, danced, humming away. There are few pleasanter men in society. I should think with his experience he would be hard upon us, but he is not. The air of courts does not seem to have spoiled him. " My dear madam," he said one evening to Mrs. Potiphar, "if you laugh at anything, 3rour laughing is laughed at next day. Life is shoii:. If you can't see the jewel in the toad's head, still believe in it. Take it for granted. The Farisienne says that the English woman has no je nc sah quoi. The English woman says the Farisienne has no aplomb. Amen ! When you are in Turkey — why, gobble. Why should I decline to have a good time at the Queen's drawing-room, because English women have no je 7ie sais quoi, or at the grand opera, because French women lack dploml ? Take things smoothly. Life is a merry-go-round. Look at )'our own grand- father, dear Mrs. Potiphar — fine old gentleman, I am told — rather kept in what the artists call the middle-distance, at present — a capital shoemaker, who did liis work well — Alexander and John How- ard did no more : — well, here you are, you see, with liveries and a pew in the right church, and alto- MINERVA lATTLE'S UIAET. 121 gether a front seat in the universe — ^merry-go- round, you know; here we go up, up, up ; here we go down, down, down, etc. By-the-by, pretty strain that from Linda ; turn turn, ti turn turn," and away hopped the Sennaar minister. Mrs. Potiphar was angry. Who wouldn't have been? To have the old famil)'^ shoes thrown in one's teeth ! But our ambassador is an ambassador. One must have the best society, and she swallowed it as she has swallowed it a hundi-ed times before. She quietly remarked — " Pity Kurz Pacha drinks so abominably. He quite forgets what he's saying !" I suppose he does, if Mrs. P. says so ; but he seems to know well enough all the time : as he did that evening in the library at Mrs. Potiphar's, when he drew Cerulea Bass to the book-shelves, and be- gan to dispute about a line in Milton, and then sud- denly looking up at the books, said — " Ah ! there's Milton ; now we'll see." But when he opened the case, which was foolishly left unlocked, he took down only a bit of wood, bound in blue morocco, whicb he turned slowly over, so that everybody saw it, and then quietly returned it to the shelf, saying only — " I beg pardon." Old Pot., as Mrs. P. calls Mm, happened to be 122 THE POTIPHAR PAPERS. passing at the moment, and cried out in his brusque way— " Oh ! I haven't laid in ni}' books yet. Those are only samples — pattern cards, 3'ou know. I don't believe you'll find there a single book that a gentle- man's library shouldn't be without. I got old Vel- lum to do the thing up right, you know. I guess he knows about the books to buy. But I've just laid in some claret that you'll like, and I've got a sample of the Steinberg. Old Corque understands that kind of thing, if anybody does." And the two gentlemen went off to try the wine. I am astonished that a man of Kurz Pacha's tact should have opened the book-case. People have no right to suppose that the pretty bindings on one's shelves are books. Why, they might as well insist upon trying if the bloom on one's cheek, or the lace on one's dress, or, in fact, one's figure, were real. Such things are addressed to the eye. No gentle- man uses his hands in good society. I've no doubt they were originally put into gloves to keep them out of mischief. I am as bad as dear Mrs. Potiphar about coming to the point of my story. But the truth is,' that in such engrossing places as Saratoga and Newport, it is hardly possible^to determine which is the pleas- antest and most important thing among so many. MINERVA TATTLE'S DIAKT. 123 I am so fond of that old, droll Kurz Pacha, that if I begin to talk about him I forget everything else. He says such nice things about people that nobodv else would dare to say, and that everybody is so glad to hear. He is invaluable in society. And yet one is never safe. People say he isn't gentlemanly; but when I see the style of man that is called gen- tlemanly, I am very glad he is not. All the solemn, pompous men who stand about like owls, and never speak, nor laugh, nor move, as if they really had any life or feeling, are called " gentlemanly." When- ever Tabby says of a new man — " But then he is so gentlemanly !" I understand at once. It is another case of the well-dressed wooden image. Good heavens i do you suppose Sir Philip Sidney, or the Chevalier Bayard, or Charles Fox, were "gentle- manly" in this way? Confectioners who undertake parties might furnish scores of such gentlemen, with hands and feet of any required size, and warranted to do nothing '•' ungentlemanly." For my part, I am inclined to think that a gentleman is something positive, not merely negative. And if, sometimes, my* friend the Pacha says a rousing and wholesome truth, it is none the less gentlemanly because it cuts a little. He says it's very amusing, to observe how coolly we play this little farce of life — how placid- ly people get entangled in a mesh at which they 124 THE potiphae papers. all rail, and how fiercely they frown upon anybody who steps out of the ring. " You tickle me and I'll tickle you ; but at all events, you tickle me," is the motto of the crowd. " Allo7isr' says he, "who cares? lead oft' to the right and left — down the middle and up again. Smile all round, and bow gracefully to your part- ner; then carry your heavy heart up chamber, and drown in your own tears. Cheerfully, cheerfully, my dear Miss Minerva. — Saratoga until August, then Newport till the frost, the city afterwards ; and so an endless round of happiness." And he steps off, humming II segreto ijer esser felice ! Well, we were all sitting in the great drawing- room at the "United States." We had been bowl- ing in our morning dresses, and had rushed in to ascertain if the distinguished English party had ar- rived. They had not. They were in New York, and would not come. That was bad ; but we thought of Newport and probable scions of nobility there, and were consoled. But while we were in the midst of the talk, and I was whispering veiy intimately with that superb and aristocratic Nancy Fungus, who should come in but father, walking toward us with a wearied air, dragging his feet along, but looking very well dressed for him, I smiled sweetly when MINERVA TATTLES DIARY. 125 I saw that he was quite presentable, and had had the good sense to leave that odious white hat in his room, and had buttoned his waistcoat. The party stopped talking as he approached, and he came up to me. " Minna, my dear," said he, " I hear everybody is going to Newport." " Oh ! yes, dear father," I replied, and Nancy Fungus smiled. Father looked pleased to see me ' so iutunate with a girl he always calls " so aristo- cratic and high-bred-looking," and he said to her — " I believe your mother is going, Miss Fungus ?" , " Oh ! yes, we always go," replied she ; " one must have a few weeks of Newport." " Precisely, my dear," said poor papa, as if he rather dreaded it, but must consent to the hard ne- cessity of fashion. " They say, Minna, that all the ]]arvenus are going this year, so I suppose we shall have to go along." There was a blow ! There was perfect silence for a moment, while poor pa looked amiable, as if he couldn't help embellishing his conversation with French graces. I waited in horror; for I knew that the girls were all tittering inside, and every moment it became more absurd. Then out it came. Nancy Fungus leaned her head on my shoulder, and fairly shook with laughter. The 1-26 THE POTIPHAR PAPEES. others hid behind their fans, and the men sud- denly walked off to the windows, and slipped on to the piazza. Papa looked bewildered, and half smiled. But it was a ver}^ melancholy business, and I told him that he had better go up and dress for dinner. It was impossible to stay after that. The un- happy slip became the staple of Saratoga conversa- tion. Young Boosey (Mrs. Potiphar's witt}^ friend) asked Morris audibly at dinner, " Where do the •parvenus sit ? I want to sit among the parvenus.'" " Of course you do, sir," answered Morris, sup- posing he meant the circle of the crime de la crcme. And so the thing went on multiplj'ing itself. Poor papa doesn't understand it yet. I don't dare to explain. Old Fungus, who prides himself so upon his family (it is one of the very ancient and honorable Virginia families, that came out of the ark with Noah, as Kurz Pacha says of his ancestors, when he hears that the founder of a family " came over with the Conqueror,") and who cannot deny himself a joke, came up to pa, in the bar-room, while a large party of gentlemen were drinking cobblers, and said to him with a loud laugh : " So, all the parvenus are going to Newport : are they, Tattle ?" " Yes !" replied pa, innocently, " that's what MINERVA TATTLE-S DIARY. 127 they say. So I suppose we shall all have to go, Fungus." Thei'e was another I'oar that time, but not from the representative of Noah's Ark. It was rather thin joking, but it did very well for the warm weather, and I was glad to hear a laugh against anybody but poor pa. We came to Newport, but the story came before us, and I have been veiy much annoyed at it. I know it is foolish for me to think of it. Kurz Pacha said — ■' " My dear Miss Minerva, I have no doubt it would pain you more to be thought ignorant of French than capable of deceit. Yet it is a very innocent ignorance of your father's. Nobody is bound to know French ; but you all lay so much stress upon it, as if it were the whole duty of wo- man to have an 'air,' and to speak French, that any ignorance becomes at once ludicrous. It's all your own doing. You make a very natural thing absurd, and then grieve because some friend becomes a vic- tim. There is your friend Nancy Fungus, who ' speaks French as well as she does English.' That may be true ; but you ought to add, that one is of just as much use to her as the other — that is, of no use at all, except to communicate platitudes. What is the use of a girl's learning French to be able to 12S THE POTIPHAR PAPEES. say to young Tctc de Clwux, that it is a very warm day, and that Newport is cliarmante. I don't sup- pose the knowledge of French is going to supply her with ideas to express. A girl who is flat in her native English, will hardly be spirituelle in her ex- otic French. It is a delightful language for the natives, and for all who have thoroughly mastered its spirit. Its genius is airy and sparkling. It is especially the language of society, because society is, theoretically, the playful encounter of sprightli- ness and Avit. It is the worst languasre I know of for poetry, ethics, and the habit of the Saxon mind. It is wonderful in the hands of such masters as Balzac and George Sand, and is especially adapted to their purposes. Yet their books are forbidden to Nancy Fungus, Tabby Dormouse, Daisy Clover, and all their relations. They read TeUmaque, and long to be married, that they may pry into Leila and Indiana : their French, meanwhile, even if they wanted to know anything of French literature — which is too absurd an idea — serves them only to say nothing to uncertain hairy foreigners who haunt society, and to understand their nothings, in response. I am really touched for this Ariel, this tricksy sprite of speech, when I know that it must do the bidding of those who can never fit its airy felicity to any worthy purpose. I have tried these MINERVA TATTLE'S DIARY. 129 accomplished damsels who speak French and Italian as well ns they do English. But our conversation was only a clumsy translation of English common- place. And yet, Miss Minerva, I think even so sensible a woman as you, looks with honor and respect upon one of that class. Dear me ! excuse me! What am I thinking of? I'm engaged to drive little Daisy Clover on the beach at six o'clock. She is one of those who garnish their conversation with French scraps. Really you must pardon me, if she is a friend of yours ; but that dry, gentle- manly fellow, D'Orsay Firkin, says that Miss Clo- ver's conversation is a dish of tete de veau farci. Aren't you coming to the beach ? Everybody goes to-day. Mrs. Gnu has arrived, and the Poti- phars are here — ^that is, Mrs. P. Old Pot. arrives on Sunday morning early, and is off again on Mon- day evening. He's grown very quiet and docile. Mrs. P. usually takes him a short drive on Monday morning, and he comes to dinner in a white waist- coat. In fact, as Mrs. Potiphar says, 'My husband hsLS not the air distingue which I should be pleased to see in him, but he is quite as well as could be expected.' Upon which Firkin twirls his hat in a significant way ; you and I smile intelligently, dear Miss Minerva; Mrs. Green and Mrs. Settum Downe exchange glances ; we all understand Mrs. Potiphar 6* 130 THE POTIPHAE PAPERS. and each other, and Mrs. Potiphar understands us^ and it is all very sweet and pleasant, and the utmost propriety is observed, and we don't laugh loud until we're out of hearing, and then say in the very soft- est whispers, that it was a remarkably true obser- vation. This is the way to take life, my dear lady. Let us go gently. Here we go backwards and for- / wards. You tickle, and I'll tickle, and we'll all/ / tickle, and here we go round — round — roundy !'_^ And the Sennaar minister danced out of the room. He is a droll man, and I don't quite understand him. Of course I don't entirely like him ; for it al- ways seems as if he meant something a little differ- ent from what he says. Laura Larmes, who reads all the novels, and rolls her great eyes around the ball-room — who laughs at the idea of such a girl as Blanche Amory in Pendennis — who would be pen- sive if she were not so plump — who likes "nothing so much as walking on the cliff by moonlight" — who wonders that girls should want to dance on warm summer nights when they have Nature, "and such nature," before them — who, in fact, would be a mere emotion if she were not a bouncing girl — Laura Larmes wonders that any man can be so hap- py as Kurz Pacha. " Ah ! Kurz Pacha, " she says to him as they stroll upon the piazza, after he has been dancing MINEEA^V TATTLE'S DIARY. 131 (for the minister dances, and swears it is essential to diplomacy to dance well), "are you really so very happy? Is it possible you can be so gay? Do you find notliing mournful in life?" " Nothing, my best Miss Laura," he replies, " to speak of; as somebody said of religion. You, who devote yourself to melancholy, the moon, and the source of tears, are not so very sad as you think. You ciy a good deal, I don't doubt. But when grief goes below tears, and forces you in self-de- fense to try to forget it — not to sit and fondle it — then you will understand more than you do now. I pity those of your sex, upon whom has fallen the reaction of wealth — for whom there is no career — who must sit at home and pine in a splendid ennui — who have learned and who know, spite of ser- mons and ' sound, sensible views of things,' that to enjoy the high 'privilege' of reading books — of cultivating their minds, - and, when they are mar- ried, minding their babies, and ministering to the drowsy, after-dinner ease of their husbands, is not the fulfillment of their powers and hopes. But, my amiable Miss Larmes, this is a class of girls and wo- men who are not solicitous about wearing black when their great-aunt in Denmark dies, whom they never saw, nor when the only friend who made heaven possible to them, falls dead at their sides. 132 THE POTIPHAU PAPERS. Nor do they avoid Mrs. Potiphar's balls as a happi- cess which they are not happy enough to eujoy — nor do they suppose that all who attend that festi- vity — dancing to Mrs. P.'s hired music and drinking Mr. P.'s fine wines — are utterly given over to hilari- ty and superficial enjoyment. I do not even think they would be likely to run — with rounded eyes, deep voice, and in very exuberant health — to any one of us jaded votaries of fashion, and say, How can you be so happy ? My considerate young friend, ' strong walls do not a prison make' — nor is a man necessarily happy because he hops. You are cer- tainly not unhappy because you make eyes at the moon, and adjudge life to be vanity and vexation. Your mind is only obscured by a few morning va- pors. They are evanescent as the dew, and when you remember them at evening they will seem to you but as pensive splendors of the dawn." Laura has her revenge for all this snubbing, of course. She does not attempt to disguise her opin- ion that Kurz Pacha is a man of "foreign morals," as she well expresses it. "A very gay, agreeable man, who glides gently over the surface of things, but knows nothing of the real trials and sorrows of life," says the melancholy Laura Larmes, whose appetite continues good, and who fills a large arm- chair comfortably. MINERVA TATTLE'S DIARY. 133 It is my opinion, liowever, that people of a cer- tain size should cultivate the hilarious rather than the unhappJ^ Diogenes, with the proportions of Alderman Gobble, could not have succeeded as a Cynic. Here at Newport there is endless opportunity of detecting these little absurdities of our fellow-crea- tures. In fact, one of the greatest charms of a watering-place, to me, is the facility one enjoys of understanding the whole game, which is somewhat concealed in the city. Watering-place life is a full- dress parade of social weaknesses. We all enjoy a kind of false intimacy, an accidental friendship. Old Carbuncle and young Topaz meet on the com- mon ground of a good cigar. Mrs. Peony and Daisy Clover are intimate at all hours. Why ? Because, on the one hand, Mrs. P. knows that youth, and grace, and beauty, are attractive to men, and that if Miss Eosa Peony, her daughter, has not those advantages, it is well to have in the neighborhood a magnet strong enough to draw the men. On the other hand, Daisy Clover is a girl of good sense enough to know — even if she didn't know it by instinct — that men in public places like the prestige of association with persons of acknowledged social position, which, by hook or by crook, Mrs. Peony undoubtedly enjoys. Therefore to be of Mrs. 134 THE POTIPIIAE, PAPERS. P.'s party is to be well placed in the catalogue — the chances are fairer — the gain is surer. Upon seeing Daisy Clover with quiet little Mrs. Clover, or plain old aunt Honeysuckle — people would inquire, Who are the Clovers ? And no one would know. But to be with Mrs. Peony, morning, noon, and night, is to answer all questions of social posi- tion. But, unhappily, in the city, things are changed. There no attraction is necessary but the fine house, gay parties, and understood rank of Mrs. Peony to draw men to Miss Rosa's side. In Newport it does very well not to dance with her. But in the city it doesn't do not to be at Mrs. Peony's ball. Who knows it so well as that excellent lady ? Therefore darling Daisy is dropped a little when we all re- turn. "Sweet girl," Mrs. P. says, "really a delightful companion for Rosa in the summer, and the father and mother are such nice, excellent people ; not exactly people that one knows, to be sure — but Miss Daisy is really amiable and quite accomplish- ed." Daisy goes to an occasional party at the Peonys'. But at the opera and the theati'e, and at the small, intimate parties of Rosa and her friends, the dai'ling Daisy of Newport is not visible. However, she has MINEEVA TATTLE'S DIAEY. 135 her little revenges. She knows the Peonys well and can talk iutelligently about them, which puts her quite on a level with them in the estimation of her own set. She rules in the lower sphere, if not in the higher, and Daisy Clover is in the way of promotion. Yes, and if she be very rich, and papa and mamma are at all presentable, or if they can be dexterously hushed up, there is no knowing but Miss Daisy Clover will suddenly bloom upon the world as Mrs. P.'s daughter-in-law, wife of that " gentlemanly" young man, Mr. Puffer Peony. Naturally it pains me very much to be obliged to think so of the people with whom I associate. But I suppose they are as good as any. As Kurz Pacha says : " If I fly from a Chinaman because he wears ■ his hair long like a woman, I must equally fly the Frenchman because he shaves his like a lunatic. The story of Jack Spratt is the apologue of the world." It is astonishing how intimate he is with our language and literature. By-the-by, that Polly Potiphar has been mean enough to send out to Paris for the very silk that I relied upon as this summer's cheval de bataille, and has just received it superbly made up. The worst of it is that it is just the thing for her. She wore it at the ball the other night, and expected to have crushed me in mine. Not she ! I have not summered it at New- 136 THE POTIPHAR PAPEES. port for — well, for several years — for nothing, and although I am rather beyond the strict white mus- lin age, I thought I could yet venture a bold stroke. So I arrayed d la Daisy Clover — not too much, pis tropjcune — and awaited the onset. Kurz Pacha saw me across the room, and came up with his peculiar smile. He did not look at my dress, but he said to me, rather wickedly, looking at my bouquet : " Dear me! I hardly hoped to see spring flowers so late in the summer." Then he raised his eyes to mine, and I am con- scious that I blushed. " It's very warm. You feel very warm, I am sure, my dear Miss Tattle," he continued, looking straight at my face. " You are sufficiently cool, at least, I think," re- plied I. " Naturally," said he; " for I've been in the im- mediate vicinity of the boreal pole for half an hour — a neighborhood in which, I am told, even the most ardent spirits sometimes freeze — so you must pardon me if I am more than usuall}"- dull. Miss Minerva." And the Pacha beat time to the waltz with his head. I looked at the part of the room from which he MINEEVA TATTLE'S DIAKY. 137 had just come, and there, sure enough, in the midst of a group, I saw the tall, and stately, and still Ada Aiguille. " He is a hardy navigator," continued Kurz Pacha, " who sails for the boreal pole. It is glit- tering enough, but shipwreck by daylight, upon a coral reef, is no pleasanter than by night upon Newport shoals." " Have you been shipwrecked, Kurz Pacha?" asked I suddenly. He laughed softly. " No, Miss Minerva, I am not one of the hardy navigators ; I keep close-in to the shore. Upon the slightest symptom of an agitated sea, I furl my sails and creep into a safe harbor. Besides, dear Miss Minna, I prefer tropical cruises to the antarc- tic voyage." And the old wretch actually looked at my black hair. I might have said something — approving his taste, perhaps, who knows ? — when I saw Mrs. Potiphar. She was splendidly dressed in the silk, and it's a pity she doesn't become a fine dress bet- ter. She made for me directly. " Dear Minna, I'm so glad to see you. "Why how young and fresh you look to-night. Keally, quite blooming ! And such a sweet, pretty dress, too, and the darling babv-waist and all — " J3S THE POTirilAR PAPEES. " Yes," said that witty Gauclie Boosey, " permit me, Miss Tattle — quite an incarnate seraphim, upon my word." "You are too good," replied I, " my dear Polly, it is your dress which' deserves admiration, and I flatter myself in saying so, for it is the very coun- terpart of one I had made some months ago." " Yes, darling, and which you have not j-et worn," replied she. " I said to Mr. P., ' Mr. P.,' said I, ' there are few women upon whose amiabili- ty I can count as I can upon Minerva Tattle's, and, therefore, I am going to have a dress like hers. Most women would be vexed about it, and say ill- natured things if I did so. But if I have a friend, it is Minerva Tattle ; and she will never grudge it to me for a moment.' It's pretty; isn't it? Just look here at this trimming." And she showed me the very handsomest part of it, and so much handsomer than mine, that I can never wear it. " Polly, I am so glad you know me so well," said 1. " Pm delighted with the dress. To be sure, it's rather proreo?ice' for your style ; but that's nothing." Just then a polka struck up. " Come along ! give me this turn," said Boosey, and putting his arm round Mrs. Potiphar's waist, he whirled her off into the dance. MINERVA TATTLE'S DIARY. 139 How I did hope somebody would come to ask me. Nobody came. "You don't dance?" asked Kurz Pacha, who stood by during my little talk with Polly P. " Oh ! yes," answered I, and hummed the polka. Kurz Pacha hummed, too, looked on at the dancers a few minutes, then turned to me, and, looking at my bouquet, said : " It is astonishinsr how little taste there is for spring-flowers." At that moment young Croesus " came in," warm with the whirl of the dance, with Daisy Clover. " It's very warm," said he, in a gentlemanly man- ner. " Dear me ! yes, very warm," said Daisy. " Been long in Newport ?" " No ; only a few days. We always come, after Saratoga, for a couple of weeks. But isn't it de- lightful ?" " Quite so," said Timon, coolly, and smiling at the idea of anybody's being enthusiastic about anything. That elegant youth has pumped life dry ; and now the pump only wheezes. "Oh !" continued Daisy, "it's so pleasant to run away from the hot city, and breathe this cool air. And tlien Nature is so beautiful. Are you fond of Nature, Mr. Croesus?" 140 THE rOTIPHAE PAPEES. " Tolerabl}%" returned Timon. "Oh! but Mr. Croesus! to go to the glen and skip stones, and to walk on the cliff, and drive to Bateman's, and the fort, and to go to the beach by moonlight ; and then the bowling-alley, and the archery, and the Germania. Oh ! it's a splendid place. But, perhaps, you don't like natural scene- ry, Mr. Croesus ?" " Perhaps not," said Mr. Croesus. " Well, some people don't," said darling little Daisy, folding up her fan, as if quite ready for another turn. "Come, now; there it is," said Timon, and, grasping her with his right arm, they glided away. " Kurz Pacha," said I, " I wonder who sent Ada Aiguille that bouquet ?" " Sir John Franklin, I presmne," returned he. " What do you mean by that ?" asked I. Before he could, answer, Boosey and Mrs. Poti- phar stopped by us. "No, no, Mr. Boosey," panted Mrs. P., "I will not have him introduced. They say his father act- ually sells drygoods by the yard in Buffalo." " Well, but he doesn't, Mrs. Potiphar." "I know that, and it's all very well for you young men to know him, and to drink, and play billiards, and smoke, with him. And he is hand- MINERVA TATTLE'S DIAEY 141 some to be sure, and gentlemanly, and I am told, veiy intelligent. But, you know, we can't be visit- ing our shoemakers and shopmen. That's the great difficulty of a watering place, one doesn't know who's who. Why Mrs. Gnu was here three summers ago, and there sat next to her, at table, a middle-aged foreign gentleman, who had only a slight accent, and who was so affable and agreeable, so intelligent and modest, and so pei-fectly familiar ■with all kinds of little wa}'^s, you know, that she supposed he was the Eussian minister, who, she heard, was at Newport incognito for his health. She used to talk with him in the parlor, and allow- ed him to join her upon the piazza. Nobody could find out who he was. There were suspicions, of course. But he paid his bills, drove his horses, and was universally liked. Dear me! appearances are so deceitful ! who do you think he was ?" " I'm sure I can't imagine." " Well, the next spring she went to a music store in Philadelphia, to buy some guitar strings for Cla- ribel, and who should advance to sell them but the Eussian minister ! Mrs. Gnu said she colored — " " So I've always understood," said Gauche, laughing. " Fie ! Mr. Boosey," continued Mrs. P. smiling. ■'^ But the music-seller didn't betray the slightest 142 THE POTIPHAE PAPERS. consciousness. He sold her the strings, received the money, and said nothing, and looked nothing. Just think of it! She supposed him to be a gentle- man, and he was really a music-dealer. You see that's the sort of thing one is exposed to here, and though 5'our friend may be very nice, it isn't safe for me to know him. In a country where there's no aristocracy one can't be too exclusive. Mrs. Peony says she thinks that in future siie shall really pass the summer in a farm-house, or if she go to a watering-place, confine herself to her own rooms and her carriage, and look at people through the blinds. I'm afraid, myself, it's coming to that. Everybody goes to Saratoga now, and you see how ISiewport is crowded. For my part I agree with the Rev. Cream Cheese, that there are serious evils in a republican form of government. What a hide- ous head-dress that is of Mrs. Settum Downe's ! What a lovely polka-redo wa !" " So it is, by Jove ! Come on," replied the gen- tlemanly Boosey, and they swept down the hall. "Ah! cielf" exclaimed a voice close by us — Kurz Pacha and I turned at the same moment. We beheld a gentleman twirling his moustache and a lady fanning. They were smiling intelligently at each other, and upon his wiiispering somethinfr that I could not hear, she said, ''• Fi! done" and MINEEVA TATTLE'S DIARY. 143 folding her fan and laying her arm upon his shoul- der, they slid along again in the dance. " Who is that ?" inquired the Pacha. "Don't you know Mrs. Vite?" said I, glad of my chance. " Why, my dear sir, she is our great social success. She shows what America can do under a French regime. She performs for society the inestimable service of giving some reality to the pictures of Balzac and George Sand, by the quality of her life and manners. She is just what you would expect a weak American girl to be who was poisoned by Paris — who mistook what was most obvious for what was most characteristic— whose ideas of foreign society and female habits were based upon an experience of resorts, more re- nowned for. ease than elegance — who has no ia- stinct fine enough to tell her that a lionne can- not be a lady — who imitates the worst manners of foreign society, without the ability or opportuni- ty of perceiving the best — who prefers a double en- tendre to a hon-mot — who courts-the applause of men whose acquaintance gentlemen are careless of ac- knowledging — who likes fast driving and dancing, low jokes, and low dresses — who is, therefore, bold without wit, noisy without mirth, and " notorious without a desirable reputation. That is Mrs. Vite." Kurz Pacha rolled up his eyes. 144 THE POTIPHAE PAPEES. "Good Jupiter! Miss Minen^a," cried he, "is this you that I hear? AVhy, you are warmer in your denunciation of this little wisp of a woman than you ever were of fat old Madame Gorgon, with her prodigious paste diamonds. Eeally, you take it too hard. And you, too, who used to skate so nimbly over the glib surface of society, and cut such coquettish figures of eight upon the characters of your friends. You must excuse me, but it seems to me odd that Miss Minerva Tattle, who used to treat serious things so lightly, should now be treat- ing light things so seriously. You ought to fre- quent the comic opera more, and dine with Mrs. Potiphar once a week. If your good-humor can't digest such a hors cfceuvre as little Mrs. Vite, what will you do with such a j)iece de resistance as Madame Gorgon?" Odious plain speaker ! Yet I like the man. But, before I could reply, up came another couple — Caro- line Pettitoes and Norman de Famille. " You were at the bowling-alley?" said he. " Yes, answered Caroline. " You saw them together?" " Yes." " Well, what do you think?" " Why, of course, that if he be not engaged to her he ought to be. He has taken her out in his wagon MINERVA TATTLE'S DIAET. 145 three times, he has sent her four bouquets, he waltzes with her every night, he bowls with her party every morning, and if that does not mean that he wants to marry her, I should like to know what it does mean," replied Caroline, tossing her head. Norman de Famille smiled, and Caroline con- tinued, with rather a flushed face, because Norman had been doing very much the same thing with her: " What is a girl to understand by such atten- tions?" " Why, that the gentleman, finds it an amusing game, and hopes she is equally pleased," returned de Famille. " Merci, M. de FamUle," said Caroline, with an energy I never suspected in her, " and at the end of the game she may go break her heart, I suppose." "Hearts are not so brittle. Miss Pettitoes," re- plied Noi^man. " Besides, why should you girls always play for such high stakes ?" They were just about beginning the waltz again, when the music stopped, and they walked away. But I saw the tears in Caroline's eyes. I don't know whether they were tears of vexation, or of disappointment. The men have the advantage of us, because they can control their emotion so much better, I suppose Caroline blushed and cried be- 7 146 THE POTIl'IIAR PAPERS. cause she found herself blushing and crying, quite as much as because she fancied her partner didn't care for her. I turned to Kurz Pacha, who stood by my side, smiling, and rubbing his hands. " A charming evening we have had of it. Miss Minerva," said he, " an epitome of life — a kind of last-new-novel effect. The things that we have heard and seen here, multiplied and varied by a thousand or so, produce the net result of Newport. Given, a large house, music, piazzas, beaches, cliff, port, griddle-cakes, fast horses, sherry-cobblers, ten-pins, dust, artificial flowers, innocence, worn- out hearts, loveliness, black-legs, bank-bills, small men, large coat-sleeves, little boots, jewelry, and polka-redowas ad libitum., to produce August in New- port. For my part. Miss Minerva, I like it. But it is a dizzy and perilous game. I profess to seek and enjoy emotions, so I go to watering-places. Ada Aiguille says she doesn't like it. She declares that she thinks less of her fellow-creatures after she has been here a little while. She goes to the city after- ward to refit her faith, probablj^ Daisy Clover thinks it's heavenly. Darling little Daisy ! life is an endless Gennan cotillon to her. She thinks the world is gay but well-meaning, is sure that it goes to church on Sundays, and uever tells lies. Cerulea MINERVA TATTLE'S DIARY. 147 Bass looks at it for a moment with her hard, round, ebony eyes, and calmly wonders that people will make such fools of themselves. And you, Miss Mi- nerva, pardon me — you come because you are in the habit of coming — ^because you are not happy out of such society, and have a tantalizing sadness in it. Your system craves only the piquant sources of scandal and sarcasm, which can never satisfy it. You wish that you liked tranquil pleasures and be- lieved in men and women. But you get no nearer than a wish. You remember when you did believe, but you remember with a shudder and a sigh. You pass for a brilliant woman. You go out to dinners and balls ; jand men are, what is called, ' afraid of you.' You scorn most of us. You are not a favorite, but your pride is flattered by the very fear on the part of others which prevents your being loved. Time and yourself are your only enemies, and they are in league, for you betray yourself to him. You have found youth the most fascinating and fatal of flirts ; but he, although your heart and hope clung to him despairingly, has jilted you, and thrown you by. Let him go, if you can, and throw after him the white muslin and the baby-waist. Give up milk and the pastoral poets. Sail, at least, under your own colors ; even pirates hoist a black flag. An old belle who endeavors to retain by sharp 148 THE POTIPHAR PAPERS. wit and spicy scandal the place she held only in virtue of youth and spirited beauty, is, in a new circle of youth and beauty, like an enemy firing at you from the windows of your own house. The difficulty of your position, dear Miss Slinerva, is, that you can never deceive those wlio alone are worth deceiving. Daisy Clover and Young America, of course, consider you a talented, tremendous kind of woman. Daisy Clover wonders all the men are not in love with you. Young America sniffs and shakes its little head, and says disapprovingly, strong minded woman!' But you fail, you know, notwithstanding. You couldn't bring old Potiphar to his knees when he first came home from China, and he must needs plunge in love with Miss Polly, whom you despised, but who has certainly profited by her intimacy with Mrs. Gnu, Mrs. Croesus, and Mrs. Settum Downs, as you saw by her conversation with you this evening. " Ah, Miss Minerva, I am only a benighted diplo- mat from Sennaar ; but, when I reflect upon all I see around me in your country ; when I take my place with terror in a railroad car, because the cer- tainty of frightful accidents fills all minds with the same vague apprehension as if a war were raging in the land ; when I see the universal rush and fury — - young men who never smile, and who fall victims / 'Si f^V^.'v^ W- MINERVA TATTLE'S DIARY. 149 to paralysis ; old mea who ai-e tired of life and dread death ; young women pretty and incapable ; old women listless and useless ; and both young and old, if women of sense, perishing of ennui, and long- ing for some kind of a career — why, I don't say that it is better anywhere else — perhaps it isn't — ^in most ways it certainly is not. I don't say, certainly, that there's a higher tone of life in London or Paris than in New York, but only that, whatever it may be there, this, at least, is rather a miserable busi- ness." "What is your theory of life, then?" asked I. " What do you propose ?" Kurz Pacha smiled again. " l^ppose, Miss Minerva, I say the Golden Rule is my theory of life. You think it vague ; but it is in that like most theories. Then I propose that we shall all be good. Don't you think it a feasible proposition ? I see that you think you have effec- tually disposed of all complaint by challenging the complainer to suggest a remedy. But it is clear to me that a man in the water has a right to cry out, although he may not distinctly state how he pro- poses to avoid drowning. Your reasoning is that of those excellent Americans who declare that foreign nations ought not to strike for a republic until they are fit for a republic — as if empires and 150 THE POTIPHAR PAPERS. monarchies founded colleges to propagate demo- cracj''. Probably you think it wiser that men shouldn't go into the water until they can swim. Mr. Carlyle, I remember, was bitterly reproached for grumbling in his " Chartism," and other works, as if a man had no moral right to complain of hunger until he had grasped a piece of bread. ' What do you propose to do, Mr. Carlyle ?' said they, ' what with the Irish, for instance V Mr. C. said that he would compel every Irishman to work, or he would sink the island in the sea. ' Barbarous man, this is your boasted reform !' cried they in indignant cho- rus, unsuited either way, and permitting the Irish to go to the dogs in the meanwhile. So suffer me, dearest Miss Minerva, to regret a state of things which no sensible man can approve. Even if it seems to you light, allow me, at least, to treat it seriously, nor suppose I love anything less, because I would see it better. You are the natural fniit of this state of things, Minerva Tattle ! By their fruits ye shall know them." After a few moments, he added in the old way : "Don't think I am going to break my heart about it, nor lose my appetite. Look at the absur- dity of the whole thing. I'm preaching to you in your baby-waist, here in a Newport ball-room at midnight. I humbly beg your pardon. There are MINERVA TATTLE'S DIAEY. 151 more potent preachers here than I. Besides, I'm engaged to Mrs. Potiphar's supper at 12. Take* things more gently, dear Miss Minerva. Don't make faces at Mrs. Vite, nor growl at your dar- ling Polly. Women as smart as you are, will say precisely as smart things of you as you say of them. We shall all laugh, first with j^ou, and then at you. But don't deny yourself the pleasure of saying the smai-t things in hope that they will also refrain. That's vanity, not virtue. People are much better than you think, but they are also much worse. I might have been king of Sennaar, but I am only his ambassador. You might have been only a chambermaid, but you are the brilliant and accomplished Miss Tattle. Tum, turn, tum, — ti, ti, ti — what a pretty waltz ! Here come Daisy and Timon Croesus, and now Mrs. Potiphar and Gauche Boosey, and now again Caroline Pettitoes and de Famille. She is smiling again, you see. She darts through the dance like a sunbeam as she is. Caro- line is a philosopher. Just now, you remember, it was down, down, down — now it is up, up, up. It is a good world, if you don't rub it the wrong way. Sit in the sun as much as possible. One preserves one's complexion, but gets so cold in the shade. Ah. ! there comes Mrs. Potiphar. Why, she is ra- diant ! She shakes her fan at me. Adieu, Miss 152 THE POTIPIIAR TAPERS. Minei-va. Sweet dreams. To-morrow morning a the Bowling Alley at eleven, you know, and the drive at six. Au revoir." And he was gone. The ball was breaking up. A few desperate dancers still floated upon the floor. The chairs were empty. The women were shawl- ing, and the men stood attendant with bouquets. I went to a window and looked out. The moon was rising, a wan, waning moon. The broad fields lay dark beneath, and as the music ceased, I heard the sullen roar of the sea. If my heart ached with an indefinite longing — if it felt that the airy epicur- ism of the Pacha was but a sad cynicism, mas- querading in smiles — ^if I dreaded to ask whether the wisest were not the saddest — if the rising moon, and the plunging sea, and the silence of midnight, were mournful — if I envied Daisy Clover her sweet sleep and vigorous waking — why, no one need ever know it, nor suspect that the brilliant Minerva Tattle is a failure. V. THE POTIPHARS IN PARIS. A LETTER FROM MISS CAROLINE PETTITOES TO MRS. SETTUM DOWNE. THE POTIPHARS IN PARIS. A LETTEK FROM MISS CAROLINE PETTITOES TO MRS. SETTUM DOW.VE. Paeis, Odoher. Mt dear Mrs. Downe — Here we are at last ! I can hardly believe it. Our coming was so sudden that it seems like a delightful dream. You know at Mrs. Potiphar's supper last August in Newport, she was piqued by Gauche Boosey's saying, in his smiling, sarcastic way : " What ! do you really think this is a pretty sup- per? Dear me! Mrs. Potiphar, you ought to see one of our jjetits soujiers in Paris, hey Croesus ?" and then he and Mr. Timon Croesus lifted their brows knowingly, and smiled, and glanced compassionate- ly around the table. " Paris, Paris !" cried Mrs. Potiphar ; " you young men are always talking about Paris, as if it were heaven. Oh ! Mr. P., do take me to Paris. Let's make up a party, and slip over. It's so easy now, you know. Come, come. Pot., I know you won't deny me. Just for two or three months. The 156 THE POTipnAR papers. truth is," said she, turning to D'Orsay Firkin, who wore that evening the lovehest shirt-bosom I ever saw, " I want to send home some patterns of new dresses to Minerva Tattle." They all laughed, and in the midst Kurz Pacha, who was sitting at the side of Mrs. Potiphar, inquired : "What colors suit the Indian summer best, Mrs. Potiphar ?" "Well, a kind of misty color," said Boosey, laugh- ingly, and emphasizing missed, as if he meant some pun upon the word. "Which conceals the outline of the landscape," inteiTupted Mrs. Gnu. "Cajoling you with a sense of warmth on the very edge of winter, eh ?" asked the Sennaar min- ister. Another loud laugh rang around the table. " I thought Minerva Tattle was a friend of yours, Kurz Pacha," said Mrs. Gnu, smiling mischievously, and playing with her beautiful bouquet, which Mrs. Potiphar told me Timon Crcesus had sent her. " Certainly, so she is," replied he. " Miss Mi- nerva and I understand each other perfectly. I like her society immensely. The truth is, I am always hetter in autumn ; the air is both cool and bright." As he said this he looked fixedly at Mrs. Gnu, THE POTIPHAES IN PARIS. 157 and there was not quite so much laughing. I am sure I don't know what tliey meant by talking about autumn. I was busy talking with Mr. Firkin about Daisy Clover's pretty morning dress at the Bowling Alley, and admiring his shirt-bosom. Suddenly there was a knock at the door, and an exquisite bouquet was handed in for Kurz Pacha. " Why didn't you wait until to-morrow?" said he, sharply. The man stammered some excuse, and the am- bassador took the flowers. Mrs. Gnu looked at them closely, and praised them very much, and quietly glanced at her own, which were really splen- did. Kurz Pacha showed them to all the ladies at table, and then handed them to Mrs. Potiphar, say- ing to her, as he half looked at Mrs. Gnu : " There is nothing autumnal here." Mrs. Potiphar thanked him with real delight, and he turned toward Mrs. Gnu, at whom he had been constantly looking, and who was playing pla- cidly with her bouquet, and said with the air of paying a great compliment : " To offer you a bouquet, madame, would be to throw pearls before swine." We were all silent a moment, and then the young men sprang up together, while we women laughed, half afraid. 158 THE POTIPHAE PAPERS. " Good heavens ! Kurz Pacha, what do you mean ?" cried Mrs. Potiphar. "Mean?" answered he, evidently confused, and blushing ; " why, I'm afraid I have made some mis- take. I meant to say something very polite, but my English sometimes gives way.'' " Your impudence never does," muttered Mrs. Gnu, who was unbecomingly red in the face. " My dear madame," said the minister to her, "I assure you I meant only to use a proverb in a com- plimentary way ; but somehow I have got the ■wrong pig by the ear." There was another burst of laughter. The young men fairly lay down and screamed. Mr. Potiphar exploded in great ha ha's and ho ho's, from the end of the table. "Mrs. Potiphar," said Mrs. Gnu, with dignity, " I didn't suppose I was to be insulted at your table." And she went toward the door. " Mrs. Gnu, Mrs. Gnu," said Polly, smothering her laughter as well as she could, " don't go. — Kurz Pacha will explain. Pm sure he means no insult." Here she burst out laughing again ; while the poor Sennaar ambassador stood erect, and utterly confounded by what was going on. THE POTIPHAES IN PARIS. 159 " I'm sure — 1 don't know — I didn't — I wouldn't — Mrs. Gnu knows ;" said he, in the greatest em- barrassment. " I beg your pardon sincerely, madame." And he looked so humble and repent- ant that I was really sorry for him ; but I saw Mr. Firkin laughing afresh every time he looked at the ambassador, as if he saw something sly behind his penitence. "Perhaps," said Firkin at last, "Kurz Pacha means to say that to offer flowers to a lady who has already so beautiful a bouquet, would be to carry coals to Newcastle." " That is it," cried the Pacha; " to Newcastle," and he bowed to Mrs. Gnu. " Come, Mrs. Gnu, it's only a mistake," said Mrs. Potiphar. But Mrs. Gnu looked rather angry still, although Gauche Boosey tried very hard to console her, say- ing as many Ion-mots as he could think of — and you know how witty he is. He said at last : " Why is Mrs. Gnu like Rachel ?" " Rachel who?" asked I. I'm sure it was an innocent question ; but they all fell to laughing again, and Mr. Firkin positively cried with fun. " D'ye give it up?" asked Mr. Boosey. " Yes," said Mrs. Potiphar. 160 THE POTIPHAE PAPERS. " Why, because she will not be comforted." " There wasn't half so much laughing at this as at my question — although Mrs. Potiphar said it was capital, and I thought so, too, when I found out who Rachel was. But Mrs. Gnu continued to be like Rachel, and Mr. Boosey continued to try to amuse her. I think it was very hard she wouldn't be amused by such a funnyman ; and he said, at last, aloud to her, mean- ing all of us to hear : " Well, Mrs. Gnu, upon my honor, it is no epicure to tiy to console you." She did laugh at this, however, and so did the others. "Have you ever been in Sennaar, Mr. Boosey?" said Kurz Pacha. "No; whyf' " Why, I thought we might have learned English at the same school." Mr. Boosey looked puzzled ; but Mr. Potiphar broke in : "Well, Mrs. Gnu, I'm glad to see you smile at last. After all, the remark of the ambassador's was only what they would call in France, ' a perfect bougie of a joke.' " " Good evening, Mrs. Potiphar," cried the Sen- naar minister, rising suddenly, and i-unning toward the door. We heard him next under the window THE POTIPHAKS IN PARIS. 161 going off in great shouts of laughter, and whistling in the intervals, "Hail Columbia!" What shock- ing habits he has for a minister ! I don't know how it was that Mr. Potiphar was in such good-humor ; but he promised his wife she should go to Paris, and that she might select her party. So she invited us all who were at the table. Mrs. Gnu declined : but I knew mamma would let me go with the Potiphars. " Dear Pot.," said Mrs. P., " we shall be gone so short a time, and shall be so busy, and hurrying from one place to another, that we had better leave little Freddy behind. Poor, dear little fellow, it will be much better for him to stay." Mr. P. looked a little sober at this ; but he said nothing except to ask : " Shall you all be ready to sail in a fortnight ?" " Certainly, in a week," we all answered. " Well, then, we must hurry home to prepare," said he. " I shall write for state-rooms for us in Monday's boat, Polly." " Very well ; that's a dear Pot.," said she ; and as we all rose she went up to him, and took his arm tenderly. It was an unusual sight : I never saw her do it before. Mrs. Gnu said to me : " Well, really, that's rather peculiar. I think people had better make love in private." 162 THE POTIPHAU PAPERS. "No, by Jove," whispered Mr. Boosey to me; and I am afraid he had drank freely, as I have once or twice before heard that he did ; but the world is such a gossip ! — " No, she doesn't let Iter good works of that kind sliine before men." " Why, Mr. Boosey," said I, " how can you ?" Will you believe, darling Mrs. Downe, that in- stead of answering, he sort of winked at me, and said, under his voice, " Good night, Caroline." I di'ew myself up, you may depend, and said coldly : " Good evening, Mr. Boosey." He drew himself up, too, and said : "I called you Caroline, you called me Mr. Boosey." And then, looking straight and severely at me, he actually winked again. Then, of course, I knew he was not responsible for his actions. Ah me, what things we are ! Just as I was leav- ing the room with Mrs. Gnu, who had matronized me, Mr. Boosey came up with such a soft, pleading look in his eyes, that seemed to say, "please forgive me," and put out his hand so humbly, and appeared so sorry and so afraid that I would not speak to him, that I really pitied him : but when, in his low, rich voice, he said : " Nymph, in thy orisons be all .my sins remem- bered !"— TUE POTIPHAES IN PARIS. 163 I couldn't hold out ; wasn't it pretty? So I put out my hand, and he shook it tenderly, and said "to- morrow" in a way — well, dear Mrs. Downe, I will be frank with you — that made me happy all night. At this rate I shall never get to Paris. But the next day it was known everywhere we were going, and everybody congratulated us. Our party met at the Bowling Alley, and we began to make all kinds of plans. " Oh ! we'll take care of all the arrangements," said Mr. Boosey, nodding toward Mr. Croesus and Mr. Firkin. " Mr. Boosey, were you presented to the Em- peror ?" inquired Kurz Pacha. " Certainly I Avas,". replied he; "I have a great respect for Louis Napoleon. Those Frenchmen didn't know what they wanted ; but be knew well enough what he wanted : they didn't want him, perhaps, but he did want them, and now he has them. A true nephew of his uncle, Kurz Pacha ; and you can see what a man the great Napoleon must have been, when the little Napoleon succeeds so well upon the strength of the name." " Why, you are really enthusiastic about the Em- perors," said the Ambassador. " Certainly," replied Mr. Boosey, "I have always been a great Neapolitan." 1G4: THE POTIPHAR TAPEKS. Kurz Pacha stared at liim a moment, and then took a large pinch of snufF solenauly. I think it's very ill-bred to stare as he does sometimes, when somebody has made a remark. I saw nothing par- ticular in that speech of Mr. Boosey's ; and yet D'Orsay Firkin smiled to himself as he told Mrs. Gnu it was her turn. " I wonder, my dear Mrs. Potiphar," said the Sennaar minister, seating himself by her side, as the game went on, " that Europeans should have so poor an idea of America and Americans, when such crowds of the very best society are constantly cross- ing the ocean. Now, you and your friends are going to Paris, perhaps to other parts of Europe, and I should certainly suppose that, without flat- tery (taking another pinch of snuff), the foreigners whom you meet might get rid of some of their pre- judices against the Americans. You will go, you know, as the representatives of a republic where social ranks are not organized to the exclusion of any, but where talent and character always secure social consideration. - The simplicity of the re- publican idea and system will appear in your manners and modes of life. Leaving to the children of a society based upon antique and aristocratic principles, to squander their lives in an aimless luxury, you will carry about with you, as it were, THE POTIPHAES IN PARIS. 16-5 the fresh abs and virgin character of a new country and civilization. When you go to Paris, it will be like a sweet country breeze blowing into a per- fumer's shop. The customers will scent something finer than the most exquisite essence, and will prefer the fresh fragrance of the flower to the most elabo- rate distillation. Roses smell sweeter than attar of roses. You and your party, estimable lady, will be the roses. You will not (am I right this time?) carry coals to Newcastle ; for, if any of your com- panions think that the sharp eye of Paris will not pierce their pretensions, or the satiric tongue of Paris fail to immortalize it, they mistake greatly. You cannot beat Paris with its own weapons ; and Paris will immensely respect you if you use your own. Poor little Mrs. Vite thinks she passes for a Parisienne in Paris. Why, there is not a cJiiffonnier in the street at midnight than couldn't see straight through the little woman, and nothing would better please the Jardin Mahille than to have her for a butt. My dear madame, the ape is a very ingenious animal, and his form much resembles the human. Moles, probably, and the inhabitants of the planet Jupiter, do not discern the difference ; but I rather think we do. — A ten-strike, by Venus ! well done, Mrs. Gnu," .cried the Ambassador; "now, Mrs. Potiphar." 166 THE rOTIPIIAK PAPERS. The Pacha didn't play ; but he asked Mr. Fir- kin what was a good average for a man, in the game. "Well, a spare every time," said he. " Mr. Firkin," asked Mrs. Gnu, " what is a good woman's average ?" " Does any lady here know that ?" inquired the Pacha, looking round. "No," said Mr. Boosey ; " we must send and in- quire of Miss Tattle." " How pleasantly the game goes on, dear Mrs. Gnu," said the Pacha; "but Miss Minei-va ought to be here, she always holds such a good hand at every game." "I think," said Mrs. Gnu, " that if she once got a good hold of my hand, she wouldn't let it go im- mediately." " Good !" shouted Mr. Boosey. " Hi, hi !" roared Mr. Potiphar. The Pacha took snuff placidly, and said quietly : " You've fairly trumped my trick, and taken it, Mrs. Gnu." " I should say the trick has taken her," whis- pered Mr. Firkin at my elbow to Kurz Pacha. The Sennaar ambassador opened his eyes wide, and offered Mr. Firkin his snuff-box. Monday came at length. It was well kuov/n THE POTIPHAES IN PARIS. 167 that we were all going — the Potiphars aud the rest of us. Everybody had spoken of the difficulty of getting state-rooms on the steamer to town, and hoped we had spoken in time. "I have written and secured my rooms," said Mr. Potiphar to everybody he met ; " I am not to be left in the lurch, my dear sir, it isn't my way." And then he marched on. Gauche Boosey said, as if at least both sides of the street were his way. He's changed a great deal lately. The De Families were going the same day. "Hope you've secured rooms, De Famille," said Mr. Potiphar blandly to him. "No," answered he, shortly; "no, not yet; it isn't my, way ; I don't mean to give myself trouble about things ; I don't bother ; it isn't my way." And each went his own way up and down the street. But early on Monday afternoon Mr. De Famille and his family drove toward Fall River, from which place the boat starts. Monday evening the Potiphars and the rest of us went to the wharf at Newport, and presently the boat came up. We bundled on board, and as soon as he could get to the office Mr. Potiphar asked for the keys of his rooms. "Why, sir," said the clerk, "Mr. De Famille has them. He came on board at Fall Eiver and asked 16S THE POTIPIIAE PAPERS. for your keys, as if the rooms had been secured for him." " What does that mean ?" demanded Mr. Poti- phar. " Oh ! ah ! I remember now," said Mr. Boosey. " I saw the De Families all getting into a carriage for a little drive, as Mr De F. said, about two o'clock this afternoon." Mr. Potiphar looked like a thunder-storm. "What the devil does it mean ?" asked he of the clerk, while the passengers hustled him, and punched him, and the hook of an unbrella-stick caught in his cra- vat-knot, and untied it. " Send up immediatly, and say that Mr. Potiphar wants his state-rooms," said he to the clerk. In a few minutes the messenger returned and said — " Mr. De Famille's compliments to Mr. Potiphar. Mr. De Faixiille and his family have retired for the night, but upon arriving in the morning he will explain everything to Mr. Potiphar's satisfaction." "Jolly!" whispered Mr. Boosey, rubbing his hands, to Mr. Firkin, on whose arm I was leaning. "Are you fond of the Italian Opera, Mr. Poti- phar?" inquired Kui-z Pacha, blandly. Mr. P. sat down upon a settee and looked at nothing. THE POTIPHAES IN PARIS. 169 "0 Patience! do verify the quotation and smile," said the ambassador to her. " It's a mean swindle," said Mr. Potiphar. " I'll have satisfaction. I'll go break open the dooi-," and he started. " My dear, don't be in a passion," said Mrs. Poti- phar, " and don't be a fool. Eemember that the De Families are not people to be insulted. It won't do to quarrel with the De Families." " Splendid !" ejaculated Kurz Pacha. " I've no doubt he'll explain it all in the morn- ing," continued Mrs. Potiphar, " there's some mis- take ; why not be cool about it ? Besides, Mr. De Famille is an elderly gentleman and requires his rest. I do think you're positively unchristian, Mr. Potiphar. The idea of insulting the De Famil- ies !" And Mrs. Potiphar patted her little feet upon the door in front of the ladies' cabin, where we were all collected. " Where are you going to sleep ?" asked Mr. Potiphar mildly. " I'm sure I don't know," answered she. We had an awful night. It was worse than any night at sea. Mrs. P. was propped up in one cor- ner of a settee and I in the other, and when I was fixed comfortable there would come a great sea, 170 THE POTIPHAE PAPERS. and the boat would lurch, and I had to disarrange my position. It was horrid. But Mr. Potiphar was very good all night. He kept coming to see if Polly wanted anything, and if she were warm enough, and if she were w^ell. Gauche Boosey, who was on the floor in the saloon, said he saw Mr. P. crawl up softly and try his state-room door. But it was locked, "and the snoring of old De Famille, who was enjoying his required rest," said he, "came in regular broadsides through the blinds." I don't know how Mr. De Famille explained. I only know Mrs. P. charged old Pot. to be satisfied with anything. " There are some people, my darling Caroline," she said to me, " with whom it does not do to quar- rel. It isn't Christian to quarrel. I can't afford to be on bad terms with the De Families." " It is odd, isn'J; it," said Kurz Pacha to Mrs. P., as we were sailing down the harbor on our way to Europe, and talking of the circumstance of the state-rooms, " it is so odd, that in Sennaar, where, to be sure, civilization has scarcely a foothold — I mean such civilization as you enjoy — this proceed- ing would have been called dishonest? They do have the oddest use of terms in Sennaar ! Why, I remember that I once bought a sheep, and as it was coming to my fold in charge of my shepherd, a man THE POTIPHARS IN PARIS. 171 in a mask came out of a wood and walked away with the sheep, and appropriated the mutton-chops to his own family uses. And those singular people in Sennaar called it stealing ! Shall I ever get through laughing at them when I return ! There ought to be missionaries sent to Sennaar. Do you think the Eev. Cream Cheese would go ? How gracefully he would say : ' Benighted brethren, in my country, when a man buys a sheep or a state- room, and pays money for it, and another man ap- propriates it, depriving the rightful buyer of his chops and sheep, what does the buyer do? Does he swear? Does he rail? Does he complain? Does he even ask for the cold pickings? Not at all, brethren ; he does none of these things. He sends Worcestershire sauce to the thief, or a pillow of poppies, and says to him, ' Friend, all of mine is thine, and all of thine is thy own.' This, benighted people of Sennaar, is the practice of a Christian people. As one of our great poets says, ' It is more blessed to give than to receive.' Think how deli- cately the Eev. Cream would pat his mouth with the fine cambric handkerchief, after rounding off such a homily ! He might ask you and Mrs. Potiphar to accompany him as examples of this Christian pitch of self-sacrifice. On the whole, I wouldn't advise you to go. The rude races of Sennaar might put 172 THE POTIPIIAR TAPERS. that beautiful forgiveness of yours to extraordinary- proofs. Holloa! there's a sea!" We were dismallj'- sea-sick. And I cared for nothing but arriving. Oh ! dear, I thinly I would evenhave given up Paris, at least I thought so. But, oh ! how could I thinli so "? Just fancy a place where not only your own maid speaks French, but where everybody, the porters, the coachmen, the chambermaids, can't speak anything else! Where the very beggars beg, and the commonest people swear, in French ! Oh ! it's inexpressibly delight- ful. Why, the dogs understand it, and the horses — " everybody," as Kurz Pacha said to me, the morning after our arrival (for he insisted upon com- ing, "it was such a freak," he said), "everybody rolls in a luxury of French, and, according to the boarding-school standard, is happy." Eveiybody — but poor Mr. Potiphar ! He has a terrible time of it. When we arrived, we alighted at Meurice's — all the fashionable people do ; at least, Gauche Boosey said Lord Brougham did, for he used to read it in Galignani, and I suppose it is fashionable to do as Lord Brougham does. D'Orsay Firkin said that the Hotel Bristol was more recherche. " Does that mean cheaper ?" inquired Mr. Poti- phar. THE POTIPHARS IN PARIS. 173 Mr. Firkin looked at him compassionately. "I only want," said Mr. Potiphar, in a kind of gasping way — for it was in tiie cars on the way from Boulogne to Paris that we held this consulta- tion — "I only want to go where there is somebody who can speak English." "My dear sir, there are commissionaires at all the hotels who are perfect linguists," said Mr. Firkin in a gentlemanly manner. " Oh ! dear me !" said Mr. P. wiping his forehead with the red bandanna that he always carries, des- pite Mrs. P., " what is a commissionaire?" " An interpreter, a cicerone," said Mr. Firkin. " A guide, philosopher, and friend," said Kurz Pacha. " Kurz Pacha, do you speak French V inquired Mr. P., nervously, as we rolled along. " Oh ! yes," replied he. " Oh ! dear me !" said Mr. Potiphar, looking dis- consolately out of the window. We arrived soon after. " We are now at the Barriere," said Mr. Fii-kin. " What do we do there ?" asked Mr. Potiphar. " We are inspected," said Mr. Firkin. Mr. Potiphar di-ew himself up with a military air. We alighted and walked into the room where all the baggage was arranged. 174 THE POTIPHAR PAPERS. '''■ Esl-cc qiCil y a quclque chose d declarer?'''' asked an officer, addressing Mr. Potiphar. " Good Heavens ! what did you say ?" said Mr P., lookini!; at him. The officer smiled, and Kurz Pacha said some- thing, upon wliich he bowed and passed on. We stepped outside upon the pavement, and I confess that even I could not understand everything that was said by the crowd and the coachmen. But Kurz Pacha led the way to a carriage, and we drove off to Meurice's. "It's awful, isn't it?" said Mr. Potiphar, pant- ing. When we reached the hotel, a gentleman (Mr. Potiphar said he was sure he was a gentleman, from a remark he made — in English) came bowing out. But before the door of the carriage was opened, Mr. P. thrust his head out of the window, and holding the door shut, cried out, " Do you speak English here?" " Certainly, sir," replied the clerk ; and that was the remark that so pleased Mr. Potiphar. My room was next to the Potiphars, and I heard a great deal, you may be sure. I didn't mean to, but I couldn't help it. The next morning, when they were about coming down, I heard Polly say — " Now, Mr. Potiphar, remember, if you want to THE rOTIPIIAES IN PARIS. 175 speak of your room, it is numcro quatre-vingt cinq,'' and she pronounced it very slowly. " Now try, Mr. P." " Oh ! dear me. Kattery vang sank," said he. " Veiy good," answered she ; "a« troiswme; that means, on the third floor. Now try." "0 tror — O trorsy — O trorsy — Oh! dear me!" muttered he in a tone of despair. " ieme," said Mrs. P. " eeaim," said he. "Well?" said Mrs. P. " O trorsyaim," said he. " That's very well, indeed !" said Mrs. Potiphar, and they went out of the room. I joined them in the hall, and we ran on before Mr. P., but we soon heard some one speaking, and stopped. " Monsieur, veut il pi'endi-e un commissionaire .5*" " Kattery — vang — sank," replied Mr. Potiphar, with great emphasis. " Comment ?" said the other. " O tror — tror — Oh! Polly — seeaim — seeaim !" returned Mr. P. " You speak English ?" said the commissionaire. " Why ! good God ! do you-?" asked Mr. P., with astonishment. " I speaks every languages, sare," replied the other, " and we will use the English, if you please. 176 THE POTIPHAR PAPERS. But Mousiem- speaks tres Uen the French lan- guage." " Are j^ou speaking English now !" asked Mr. Potiphar. The commissionaire answered hira that he was — and Mr. P. thrust his arm through that of the com- missionaire and said — "My dear sir, if you are disengaged I should be veiy glad if you would accompany me in my walks through the town." " Mr. Potiphar !" said Polly, " come !" " Coming, my dear," answered he, as he approach- ed with the commissionaire. It was in vain that Mrs. P. winked and frowned. Her husband would not take hints. So taking his other arm, and wishing the commissionaire good morning, she tried to draw him away. But he clung to his companion and said,. " Polly, this gentleman speaks English." " Don't keep his arm," whispered she ; " he is only a servant." " Servant, indeed !" said he ; '• you should have heard him speak French, and you see how gentle- manly he is." It was some time before Polly was able to make her husband comprehend the case. " Ah !" said he, at length ; " Oh! I understand." All our first days were full of such little mistakes. THE POTIPHARS IN PARIS. 177 Kurz Pacha came regularly to see us, and laughed more than I ever saw him laugh before. The young men were away a great deal, which was hardly kind. But they said they must call upon their old acquaintances ; and Polly and I expected every day to be called upon by their lady friends. " It's veiy odd that the friends of these young men don't call upon us," said Mrs. Potiphar to Kurz Pacha ; " It would be only civil." The ambassador laughed a good deal to himself and then answered, " But they are not visiting ladies." "What do you mean ?" said she. " Ask Mr. Firkin," replied he. So when we saw them next, Mrs. P. said, " Mr. Firkin, I remember you used to tell me of the pleasant circles in which you visited in Paris, and how much superior Fi-ench society is to American." "Infinitely superior," replied Mr. Firkin. " Much more sjnritiiel,^' said Mr. Boosey. " Well," said Mrs. Potiphar, " we are going to stay only a short time to be sure, but we should like very much to see a little good society." " Ah!" said Mr. Firkin. " Oh ! yes, certainly," said Mr. Boosey ; and the corners of his eyelids twitched. " Perhaps you might suggest that you have some i7S THE POTIPHAE PAPEES. friends staying in town," said Mrs. P. " You Ivnow we're all intimate enouo;h for that." " Yes — oh, yes," said Mr. Firkin, slowly ; " but the truth is, it's a little awkward. These ladies are kind enough to receive us : but to ask favors of them, is, you see, different." " Oh ! yes," interrupted Mr. Boosey ; " to ask fa- vors of them is a very different thing," and his eyes really glistened. " These are ladies, you see, dear Mrs. Potiphar," said Kurz Pacha, " who don't grant favors." " But still," continued Mr. Firkin, " if you only wanted to see them, you know, and be able to say at home that you knew Madame la Marquise So-and- so, and Madame la Comtesse So-and-so, and describe their dresses, why, we can manage it well enough ; for we are engaged to a little party at the opera this evening with the Countess de Papillon and Madame Casta Diva, two of the best knovra ladies in Paris. But they never visit." " How superbly exclusive !" said Mrs. Potiphar; " I wonder how that would do at home ! However, I should be glad to see the general air and the toil- ette, you know. If we were going to pass the whole winter I would know them of course. But things are different where you stay so short a time. Eh, Kurz Pacha?" THE POTIPHAES IN PARIS. 179 " Very different, Madame. But you are quite right. Make hay while the sun sliines ; use your eyes if j^ou can't use your tongue. Eyes are great auxiliaries, you can use the tongue afterward. You've no idea how well you can talk about French society if you only go to the opera with a friend who knows people, and to your banker's soirees. If you chose to read a little of Balzac, be- side, your knowledge will be complete." So we agreed to go to the opera. We passed the days shopping, and driving in the Bois de Boulogne. Sometimes the j'oung men went with us, and D'Or- say Firkin confided to me one of his adventures, "which was very romantic. You know how hand- some he is, and how excessively gentlemanly, and how the girls were all in love with him last winter at home. Now you needn't say that I was, for you know better. I liked him as a friend. But he told me that he had often seen a girl in one of the shops on the Boulevards watching him very closely. He never passed by, but she always saw him, and look- ed so earnestly at him, that at length he thought he would saunter carelessly into the shop, and ask for some trifle. The moment he entered she fixed her eyes full upon him, and he says they were large and lustrous, and a little mournful in expression. But he scarcely looked at her, and asked at the opposite 180 THE POTIPHAE PAPEES. counter for a pair of gloves. He tried tliem on, and in the mirror behind the counter he saw tlie girl still watching him. After lingering for some time, and looking at everything but the girl, he sauntered slowly out again, while her eyes, he said, grew evidently more mournful as she saw him leave without looking at her. Daily, for a week after- wards, he walked by the door, and she was alway^s watching and looking after him with the most eager interest. Mr. Firkin did not say he was soriy for the little French girl, but I know that he really felt so. These men, that every woman falls in love with, are generous, I have always found. And I am sure he would never have confided this little affair to me, except for the very intimate terms upon which we are ; for I have heard him say (speaking of other men) that nothing was meaner than for a man to tell of his conquests. Well, the affair went on, he says, for some days longer. He was, at the time, constantly in attend- ance upon the Countess de Papillon, but often from the window of her carriage he has remarked the young girl pensively watching him, as she stretched gloves, or tied cravats around the necks of customers. At length he determined to follow the matter up, as he called it, and so marched into the shop one day, and going straight toward the THE POTIPHAES IN PARIS. 181 mournful eyes, he asked for a pair of gloves.' Mr. Firkin saj's the French women are so perfectly trained to conceal their emotions, that she did not betray, by any trembling, or turning pale, or stam mering, the profound interest she felt for him, but quietly looked in his ej^es, and iu what Mr. Firkin called " a strain of Syren sweetness," asked what number he wore. He replied with his French esprit, as Kurz Pacha calls it, that ho thought the size of her hand was about right for him ; upon which she smiled in the most bewitching manner, aad bringing out a large box of gloves, selected a pair of an exquisite nuance, as the French say, you know, and asking him to put out his hand, she pro- ceeded to fit the glove to it, herself. Mr. Firkin remarked, that as she did so, she would raise her eyes to his whenever she found it necessary to press his fingers harder than usual, and when he thought the glove was fairly on, she kept pulling it down, and smoothing it ; and finally taking his hand be- tween both of hers, she brought the glove together, buttoned it, and said, ' Monsieur has such a delicate hand,' and smiled sweetly. Mr. Firkin said he bought an astonishing number of gloves that morning, and suddenly remembered that he wanted cravats. Fortunately the new styles had just come in, Marie said (for he had dis- 1S2 THE POTIPHAR PAPEES. covered her name), and she opened a dazzling array of silks and satins, and, asking him to remove his neckcloth, she wound her hand in a beautiful silk, and throwing her arms for a little moment quite around his neck, she tied it in front; her little hands sometimes hitting his chin. Then, taking him by the hand, she led him to a mirror, in which he might survey the effect, while she stood behind him looking into the mirror over his shoulder, her head really quite close to his, and, in her enthusiasm about the set of the cravat, having forgotten to take her hand out of his. He stood a great while before that mirror, trying to discover if it really was a be- coming tie. He said he never found so much diffi- culty in deciding. But Marie decided everything for him, and laid aside piles of cravats, and gloves, and fancy buttons, and charms, until he was quite dizzy, and found that he hadn't money enough in his pocket to pay. "It is nothing," said the trustful Marie, "Mon- sieur will call again." Touched by her confidence he has called several times since, and never escapes without paying fifty francs or so. Marie says the Messieurs Americains are princes. They never have smaller change than a Napoleon, and they are not only the most regal of customers but the most po- lite of gentlemen. Mr. Firkin says he has often THE POTIPHAES IN PARIS. 183 seen Frenchmen watching him, as he stood in the shop, with the most quizzical expression, and once or twice he has thought he lieard suppressed laugh- ter from a group of the other girls and the French gentlemen. But it was a mistake; for when he turned, the Frenchmen had the politest expression, and the girls were very busy with the goods. Poor French gentlemen ! how they must be annoyed to see foreigners carrying off not only all the gloves, but all the smiles, of the beautiful Maries. It is really pleasant to see Gauche Boosey and D'Orsay Firkin promenade on the Boulevards. They are more superbly dressed than anybody else. They have such coats, and trows'ers, and waistcoats, and boots — "always looking," says Kurz Pacha, " as if they came into a large fortune last evening, and were anxious to advertise the fact this morning." Even the boys in the streets turn to look at them. Mr. Boosey always buys the pattern shirts, and woollen morning dresses, and fancy coats, that hang in the shop windows. " Then,"- he says, " I am sure of being in the height of the fashion." Mr. Firkin is more quiet. The true gentleman, he says, is known by the absence of everything •prononci. "lie is a very true gentleman, then," even Kurz Pacha says, " for I have never found anything prono7ic6 in Mr. D'Orsay Firkin." The Pacha tells 134 THE POTIPUAR TAPERS. a good story of them. " The week after their arri- val Mr. B. appeared in a suit of great splendor. It was a very remarkable coat and waistcoat covered with gilt sprigs, and an embroidered shirt-bosom, altogether a fine coronation suit for the king of tlie Cannibal islands. Mr. Firkin, as usual, was rigor- ously gentlemanly in the quiet way. They walked together up the Boulevards, Mr. B. flashing in the sun, and Mr. F. sombre as a shadow. The whole world turned to remark the extreme gorgeousness of Mr. Boosey's attire, which was peculiar even in Paris. At first that ornament of society rather en- joyed it, but such universal attention became a little wearisome, and at length annoying. Finally Mr. Boosey could endure it no longer, and, turning round, he stopped Mr. Firkin, and, looking at him from top to toe, remarked, ' Really I see nothing so peculiar in your dress that the whole town should stop to stare at you.' Mr. Boosey is a man of great discrimination," concluded the ambassador He went with us to the opera, where we were to seethe Countess de Papill on and Madame Casta Diva. The house was full, and the young gentlemen had told us where to look for their box. Mrs. Poti- phar had made Mr. P. as presentable as possible, and begged the Sennaar minister to see that Mr. P. did not talk too loud, nor go to sleep, nor ofiend the THE POTIPHAES IN PARIS. 185 proprieties in any way ; especially to cut off all his attempts at speaking French. She had hired the most expensive box. "People respect money, my dear," said Mrs. Po- tiphar to me. "But not always its owners, my dear," whis- pered Kurz Pacha in my other ear. When we entered the box, all the glasses in the house were levelled at us. Mrs. Potiphar gayly seated herself in the best seat, nodding and chatting with the ambassador ; her diamonds glittering, her brocade glistening, her fan waving, while I slipped into the seat opposite, and Mr. Potiphar stood behind me in a dazzling expanse of white waist- coat, and his glass in his eye, as Mrs. P. had taught him. " A very successful ereiree," whispered the Pacha to Mrs. P. " I shall give out to my friends that it is the heiress presumptive of the Camanchees." " No, really ; what is the Camanchees ?" said Polly levelling her glass all round the house, and laughing, and talking, and Tustling, as if she were very, very happy. Suddenly there was a fresh volley of glasses towards our box, and, to our perfect dismay, we turned and saw that Mr. Potiphar had advanced to the front, and having put down his eye-glass, had 186 THE POTIPIIAR PAPERS. taken out his old, round, silver-barred spectacles, and was deliberately wiping them with that great sheet of a hideous red bandanna, " preparatory to an exhaustive survey of the house," whispered Kurz Pacha to me. Mrs. P. wouldn't betray any emotion, but still smiling, she hissed to him, under her breath : " Mr. P., get back this minute. Don't make a fool of yourself. Mais, monsiexir, c'est vraiment char- mant.^'' The latter sentence was addressed with smiles to the ambassador, as she saw that the neighbor in the next box was listening. "It's uncommonly warm," said Mr. Potiphar in a loud tone, as he wiped his forehead with the bandanna. "Yes, I observe that Mrs. Potiphar betrays the heat in her face," said the Pacha, " which, how- ever, is merely a becoming carnation, Madame," concluded he, sinking his voice, and rubbing his hands. At that moment, in the box opposite, I saw our friends, Mr. Boosey and Mr. Firkin. By their sides sat two such handsome women ! They wore a great quantity of jewelry, and had the easiest, most smil- ing faces, }'0u ever saw. They entered making a great noise, and I could see that the modesty of THE POTIPHARS IN PAKIS. 187 our friends kept them in the rear. For they seemed almost afraid of being seen. " I like that," said Kurz Pacha ; " it shows that such stern republicans don't intend ever to appear delighted with the smiles of nobility." " The largest one is Madame la Marquise Casta Diya," said Mrs. Potiphar, scanning them carefully, " I know her by her patrician air. Wliat a splen- did thing blood is, to be sure !" She gave herself several minutes to study the toil- ette of the lady, while I looked at the younger lady, Countess de Papillon, who had all kinds of little fluttering ends of ribbons, and laces, and scal- lops, and ruffles, and was altogether so stylish ! " I see now where Mr. Firkin gets his elegant manners," said Mrs. Potiphar ; " it is a great privi- lege for young Americans to be admitted familiarly into such society. I now understand better the tone of their conversation when they refer to the French salons." "Yes, my dear Madame," answered the Pacha, "this is, indeed, making the best of one's oppor- tunities. This is well worth coming to Europe for. It is, in fact, for this that Europe is chiefly valuable to an American, as the experience of an observer shows. Paris is, notoriously, the great centre of historical and romantic interest. To be sure, Italy, 18S THE POTIPHAE PAPERS. Rome, Switzerland, aud Germany — j^es, and even England — have some few objects of interest and attention. But the really great things of Europe, the superior interests, are all in Paris. Wh}', just reflect. Here is the Caft de Paris, the Trois Frcrcs, and the Maison Dorce. I don't think you can get such dinners elsewhere. Then, there is the Grand Opera, the Comic Opera, and, now and then, the Italian — -I rather think that is good music. Are there any such theatres as the Vaudeville, the Va- rietes, and the Montansier, where there is the most dexterous balancing on the edge of decency that ever you saw ; and when the balance is lost, as it always is, at least a dozen times every evening, the applause is tremendous, showing that the audience have such a subtle sense of propriety that they can detect the slightest deviation from the right line. Is there not the Louvre, where, if there is not the best pictui-e of a single great artist, there are good specimens of all? Will you please to show me such a promenade as the Boulevards, such fetes as those of the Champs Elysees, such shops as those of the Passages, and the Palais Royal. Above all, will you indicate to such students of mankind as Mr. Boosey, Mr. Firkin, and I, a city more abounding in piquant litle women, with eyes, and coiffures and toilettes, and je ne sais quoi, enough to make Die- THE POTIPHARS IN PARIS. 189 genes a dandy, to obtain their favor ? I think, dear Madame, you would be troubled to do it. And While these things are Paris, while we are sure of an illimitable allowance of all this in the gay capital, we do right to remain here. Let who will, sadden in mouldy old Rome, or luxuriate in the orange-groves of Sorrento and the south, or wander among the ruins of the most marvellous of empires, and the monuments of art of the highest human genius, or float about the canals of Venice, or woo the Venus and the Apollo ; and learn from the silent lips of those teachers a lore sweeter than the French novelists impart; let who will, climb the tremendous Alps, and feel the sublimity of Switzer- land as he rises from the summer of Italian lakes and vineyards into the winter of the glaciers,' or makes the tour of all climates in a day by descend- ing those mountains towards the south ; let those who care for it, explore in Grermany the sources of modern history, and the remote beginnings of the American spirit ; ours be the Boulevards, the de- moiselles, the operas, and the unequalled dinners. Decency requires that we should see Rome, and climb an Alp. We will devote a summer week to the one, and a winter month to the other. They will restore us, renewed and refreshed, for the manly, generous, noble, and useful life we lead in Paris." 190 THE POTIPHAE TAPERS. "Admirably said,'" returned Mrs. Potipliar, who had been studying the ladies opposite while the Pacha was speaking, " but a little bit prosy," she whispered to me. It would charm you to hear how intelligently Mrs. P. speaks about French society, since that evening at the opera. When we return, you will find how accomplished she is. "We've been here only a few weeks, and we already know all the fashionable shops, and a little more French, and we go to the confectioner's, and eat savarins every morn- ing at twelve, and we drive in the Bois de Boulogne in the afternoon, and we dine splendidly, and in the evening we go to the opera or a theatre. To be sure we don't have much society beside our ovyn party. But then the shop-girls point out the dis- tinguished women to Mrs. Potiphar, so that she can point them out when we drive ; and our banker calls and keeps us up in gossip ; and Mrs. Poti- phar's maid, Adele, is inestimable in furnishing in- formation ; and Mr. Potiphar gets a great deal out of his commissionaire, and goes about stud}ing his Galignani's Guide, and frequents the English Read- ing Room, where, I am told, he makes himself a lit- tle conspicuous when he finds that Englishmen won't talk, by saying, " Oh ! dear me !" and wiping his face with a bandanna. He usually opens his ad- THE POTIPHAES IN PAEIS. 191 varices by making sure of an EngUshraan, aud say- ing, '■^ Bon matin — but, perhaps, sir, you don't speak French." " You evidently do not, sir," replied one gentle- man. " Xo, sir ; you're right there," answered Mr. P. But he couldn't get another word from his com- panion. In this delightful round, the weeks glide by. " You must be enjoying yourself immensely," says the Pacha. " You understand life, my dear Mrs. Potiphar. Here you are, speaking very little French, in a city where the language is an atmos- phere, and .where you are in no sense acclimated until you can speak it fluently — with all French life shut out from you — living in a hotel — cheated by butcher, baker, and candlestick-maker — going to hear plays that you imperfectly understand — to an opera where you know nobody, and where your box is filled with your own countrymen, who are delightful, indeed, but whom you didn't come to Paris to see — constantly buying a hundred things because they are pretty, and because you a,re in Paris — entirely ignorant, and quite as careless, of the historical interests of the city, of the pictures, of the statues, and buildings — surrounded by cele- brities of all kinds, of whom you never heard, and 192 THE POTIPIIAR PAPERS. therefore lose the opportunity of seeing them — in fact, paying the most extravagant price for every thing, and purchasing only the consciousness of be ing in Paris — why, who ought to be happy, and con sidered to be having a fine time of it, if you are jiot ? How naturally you will sigh for all this when you return and recur to Paris as the culmina- tion of human bliss ! Here's my honored Potiphar, who has this morning been taken to a darkened room in a grand old house, in a lonely, aristocratic street ; and there a picture-agent has shown him a splendid Nicolas Foussin, painted in his prime for the family, whose heir in reduced circumstances must now part with it at a tearful sacrifice. Hon- ored P.'s friend, the commissionaire, interprets this story, while the agent stands sadly meditating the sacrifice with which his duty acquaints him. He informs the good P., through the friendly commis- sionaire, that he has been induced to oSer him the picture, not only because all Americans have so fine a taste (as his experience has proved to him) in paint- ings, and because they, are so much more truly mii- nificent than the nobility of other nations, but be- cause the heir in reduced circumstances wishes to think of the picture as entirely removed from the possibility of being seen in France. Family pride, which is almost crushed in disposing of so great THE POTIPHAES IN PAKIS. 193 and valued a work, would be entirely quenched, if the sale were to be known, and the picture recog- nized elsewhere in the country. Monsieur is a gen- tleman, and he will understand the feelings of a gentleman under such circumstances. The com- missionaire and the picture-agent therefore preserve a profound silence, and my honoired friend feels for his red bandanna, and is not comfortable in the lonely old house, with the picture and the people. The agent says that it is not unusual for the owner to visit the picture about that very hour, to hear what chance there is for its sale. If this knock should be he, it would not be very re- markable. The heir enters. He has a very heavy moustache, dark hair, and a slightly Hebrew cast of countenance. " Mr. Potiphar is introduced. The heir contem- plates the picture sadly, and he and the agent point out its beauties to each other. In fine, my honored Potiphar buys the work of art. To any one else, of course, in France, for instance, the price should be eleven thousand francs. But the French and the Americans have fraternized; a thousand francs shall be deducted. " You see clearly it's quite worth while coming to Paris to do this, because, I suppose, there are not more than ten or twenty artists at home who 194 THE rOTIPHAR PAPEES. could paint ten or twenty times as good a picture for a quarter of tlie price. But j^ou, dearest Mrs. P., who know all about pictures, naturally don't want American pictures in your liouse, any more than you want anything else American there. " My young friends and allies, Messrs. Boosejr, Firkin, and Croesus, say that they come to Paris to see the world. They get the words wrong, you know. They come that the world (that is, their world at home) may not see them. To accompany Mesdames de Papillon and Casta Diva to the opera, then to return to beautifully furnished apartments to sup, and to prolong the entertainment until morning, is what those charming youths mean when they say ' see the world.' To attend at that re- union of the haul ton, Monsieur Celarius' dancing academy, is to see good society in Paris, after the man- ner of those dashing men of the world. It's amusing enough, and it's innocent enough, in its way. They won't go very far. They'll spend a good deal of money for nothing. They'll be plucked at gaming- houses. They'll be quietly laughed at by Mesdames de Papillon and Casta Diva, and the male friends of those ladies who enjoy the benefit of the lavish bounty of our young Croesuses and Firkins. They'll swagger a good deal, and take airs, and come home and indulge in foreign habits, now grown indis- THE POTIPHARS IN PARIS. 195 pensable. They will pronounce upon the female toilette, and upon the gantier le plus comme il faut, in Paris. They will beg your pardon for express- ing a little phrase in French — to which really, the English is inadequate. They will have, necessarily, the foreign air. Some of them will settle away into business men, and be very exemplarj^ Others will return to Paris, as moths to the light, asserting that the only place for a gentleman to live agree- ably, to indulge his tastes, and get the most for his money, is Paris — which is strictly true of such gen- tlemen as they. A view of life that starts from the dinner-table, inevitably selects Paris for its career. For, obviously, if you live to dine well you must live where there is good cooking. "You women are rather worse off than the young men, Mrs. P. ; because you are necessarily so much more confined to the house. Unless, indeed, you imitate Mrs. Vite, who goes wherever the gentlemen go, and who is famous as U Ammcaine. If you like that sort of thing, you can do as much of it as you please. It will always surround you with a certain kind of man — and withdraw from your society a certain kind of woman, and a certain kind of respect. " To conclude my sermon, ladies, Europe is a charmed name to Americans, because in Europe are 196 THE POTIPHAR PAPERS. the fountains of all our education and training. History is the story of that hemisphere ; the ruins of empires, arts, and civilizations, are here. Now, if there is any use in living at all, whicli I am far from asserting, is it worth while to get nothing out of Europe but a prolonged supper with Madame Casta Diva, or a wardrobe of all the charming dresses in Paris, and a facility of scandal which has all the wickedness and none of the wit of the finest Frenchwoman ? I beg a thousand pardons for preaching, but the text was altogether too iJreg- nant." And so Kurz Pacha whirled out of the room, humming a waltz of Strauss. He has heard of his recall to Sennaar since he has been here — and we shall hear nothing more of him. We, too, leave Paris in a few days for home, and you will not hear from us again. Mrs. Potiphar has been as busy as possible getting up the greatest variety of dresses. You will see that she has not been to Paris for no- thina;. . Kurz Pacha asked us if we had been to the Louvre, where the great pictures are. But when I inquired if there were any of Mr. Dusseldorf's there, and he said no ; why, of course, as he is my favorite, and I know more of his works than I do of any others, I didn't go. There are some very pretty things there, Mr. Boosey says. But ladies have no i.l::^ THE POTIPHARS IN PARIS. 197 time for such matters. Do you know, the other evening we went to the ball at the Tuileries, and oh ! it was splendid. There were one duke and three marquisses, and a great many counts, pre- sented to me. Tiiey all said, "It's charming, this evening," and I said, "very charming, indeed." Wasn't it nice ? But you should have seen Mrs. Potiphar when the Emperor Napoleon HI. spoke to her. You know -what a great man he is, and what a benefac- tor to his country, and how pure, and noble, and upright his private character and career have been ; and how, as Kurz Pacha said, he is radiant with royalty, and honors everybody to whom he speaks. Well, Mrs. P. was presented, and sank almost to the ground in her reverence. But she actual- ly trembled with delight when the Emperor said " Madame, I remember with the greatest plea- sure the beautiful city of New York." I am sure the Empress Eugenie would have been jealous, could she have heard the tone in which it was said. Wasn't it aflFable in such a great monarch towards a mere republican ? I wonder how people can slander him so, and tell such stories about him. I never saw a nicer man ; only he looks sleepy. I suppose the cares of state oppress him, poor man .' 198 THE POT UMIAK PATERS . But oue thing you may be sure of, dear Mrs. Downe, if people at home laugh at the Emperor aud condemn him, just find out if they Jua-c eccr been invited to the Tuileri.es. If not, you will understand the reason of their hatred. Mrs. Potiphar says to the Americans hei'e that she can't hear the Em- peror spoken against, for they are on the best of terms. " Of course the French dislike him," says Mr. Fii-kin, who has a turn for politics, " for they want a republic before they are ready for it." How you would enjoy all this, dear, and how sorry I am you are not here. I think Mr. Potiphar is rather disconsolate. He whistles and looks out of the window down into the garden of the Tuile- ries, where the children play under the trees ; and as he looks he stops whistling, and gazes, sometimes, for half an hour ; and whenever he goes out after- ward, he is sure to buy something for Freddy. When the shopkeeper asks where it shall be sent, Mr. P. says, in a loud, slow voice — " Hotel Mureece, Katteryvang-sank-trorsyaim." It is astonishing, as Kurz Pacha said, that we are not more respected abroad. " Foreigners will never know what you really are," said he to Mr. P., "un- til they come to you. Your going to them has failed." THE POTIPIIARS IN PARIS. 199 Good bye, dearest Mrs. Downc. We are so sorry to come home ! You won't hear from us again. Your ever affectionate Caroline. VI. KURZ PACHA TO THE KING OF SENNAAR, UPON RECEIVING HIS LETTERS OF RECALL. (NOW rinST TRANSLATED.) KURZ PACHA TO THE KING OF SENNAAR, UPON KECEmNG HIS LETTERS OF RECALL. NOW FIRST TRANSLATED.) Most sable and serene Master : I hear and obey. You said to me, Go, and I went. You now say, come, and I am coming, with the readiness tliat befits a slave, and the cheerfulness that marks the philosopher. Accustomed from my youth to breathe the scent- ed air of Sennaar saloons, and to lounge in listless idleness with young Sennaar, I am weary of the simple purity of manners that distinguishes this people, and long for the pleasing, if pointless, frivoli- ties of your court. Coming, as you commanded, to observe and re- port the social state of the metropolis of a people who, in the presence of the world,, have renounced the feudal organization of society, I have found them, as you anticipated, totally free from the petty ambitions, the bitter resolves, and the hollow pretences, that characterize the society of older states. 204 THE POTIPHAE PAPERS. The people of the first fashion unite the greatest simplicity of character with the utmost variety of intelligence, and the most graceful elegance of manner. Knowing that for an American the only nobility is that of feeling ; the only grace, generosi- ty ; and the only elegance, simplicity ; they have achieved a society which is a blithe Arcadia, illus- trating to the world the principles they profess, and making the friend of man rejoice. We, who are reputed savages, might well be astonished and fascinated with the results of civili- zation, as they are here displayed. The universal courtesy and consideration — the gentle charity, which does not consider the appearance but the substance — the republican independence, which teaches foreign lords and ladies the worthlessness of mere rank, by obviously respecting the character and not the title — the eagerness with which for- eign habits are subdued, by the positive nature of American manners — the readiness to assist — the total want of coarse social emulation — the absence of ignorance, prejudice and vulgarity, in the selecter circles — the broad, sweet, catholic welcome to all that is essentially national and characteristic, which sends the young American abroad only that he may return eschewing European habits, and with a con- fidence in man and his country, chastened by ex- KURZ PACHA TO THE KING OP SENNAAR. 205 perience — these have most interested and charmed me in the observation of this pleasing people. It is here the pride of every man to bear his part in the universal labor. The young men, instead of sighing for other institutions, and the immunities of rank, prefer to deserve, by earning, their own pa- tents of Nobility. They are industrious, temperate, and frugal, as becomes the youth to whom the des- tinies of so great a nation, and the hopes of the world, are committed. They are proud to have raised themselves from poverty, and they- are never ashamed to confess that they are poor. They acknowledge the equal dignity of all kinds of labor, and do not presume upon any social differences between their baker and themselves. Knowing that luxury enervates a nation, they aim to show in their lives, as in their persons, that simplicity is the finest ornament of dress, as health best decorates the body. They are cheerfully obedient to those who command them, and gentle to those they command. Full of charity, and knowing that if every man has some sore weakness, he has also a human soul latent in him, they trust each man as if that soul might, at any moment, look out of his eyes, and acknow- ledge vdth tears, the sympathy that unites them. They show ia all this social independence and originality, the shrewd common-sense which we 206 THE POTIPHAR PAPERS. have so often heard ascribed to them. For if, bj' some fatal error, they should undertake a social rivalry, in kind, w^ith the old ■^'orld and all its splendid accessories of antiquit}', wealth and here- ditary refinement, the observer would see, what now is never beheld, foolish parvenus frenzied in the pm'suit of an elegance which, in its nature, is inaccessible to them. We should see lavish and unmeaning displays. We should see a gaudy ostentation — serving only as a magnificent frame to the vanity of the subject. We should see the grave and thoughtful, the witty and accomplished, the men and women whose genius fitted them for society, withdrawing from its saloons, and prefer- ring privacy to a vulgar and profuse publicity. We should see society become a dancing-school, and men and women degenerated into dull and dandified boys and girls, content with (pardon me, sable sir, but it would be the truth) " style." We should see, as in an effete civilization, marriages of con- venience. We should hear the heirs, or the hold- ers, of great fortunes, called " gentlemanly" if they were dull, and " a little wild" if they were debauched. We should see parents panting to " marry off" their dear daughters to the richest j^ouths, and the richest youths affecting a "jolly" and " stunning" life — reputed to know the world KUEZ PACHA TO THE KING OP SENNAAE. 207 because they were licentious, and to have seen life because they had tasted foreign dissipation. We sliould hear insipidity praised as good-humor, and nonchalance as ease. We should have boorishness accounted manliness, and impudence wit. We should gradually lose faith in man as we associated with men, and soon perceive that the only safety for the city was in its constant recruiting from the simplicity and strength of the country. The sharp common sense- of this people prevents so melancholy a spectacle. In fact, you have only to consider that this society does not remind you of the best characteristics of any other, to judge how unique it is. But, for myself, as milk disagrees with my con- stitution, and my mind tires of this pastoral sweet- ness, I am too glad to obey your summons. In my younger days when I loved to press the stops of oaten pipes, and — a plaintive swain — fancied every woman what she seemed, and every man my friend — I should have hailed the prospect of a life in an Arcadia like this. How gladly I should have climb- ed its Pisgah-peaks of hope, and have looked off in- to the future, flowing with milk and honey. I would grieve (if I could) that my sated appetite refuses more — that I must lay down my crook and play the shepherd no longer. Yet, I know well 20S THE POTIPHAR PATERS. enough, that, in the perfumed atmosphere of the circle to wliich I return, I shall recur, often, with more than regret, to the humane, polished, in- telligent, and simple society I leave behind me — shall wonder if Miss Minerva Tattle still prattles kindly among the birds and flowers — if Mrs. Poti- phar still leads, by her innate nobility, and not by the accident of wealth, the swarm of ga)^ and graceful, and brilliant men and women that sur- round her. I humbly trust, sable son of midnight, my lord and master, that my present report and summary will be found worthy of that implicit confidence immemorially accorded to diplomatic communica- tions. I could ask for it no other reception. Your slave, KuRz Pacha. Til. FROM THE EEV. HENRY DOYE TO MRS. POTIPHAR. (PRlTATE.l FROM THE REV. HENRY DOVE TO MRS POTIPHAR. (private.) My dear Mrs. Potiphar : I am very anxious that you should allow me to re- ceive your son Frederic as a pupil, at my parsonage, here in the countiy. I have not lived in the city witli out knowing something about it, despite my cloth, and I am concerned at the peril to which every young man is there exposed. There is a proud philosophy in vogue that eveiything that ca7i be injured had better be destroyed as rapidly as pos- sible, and put out of the way at once. But I recall a deeper and tenderer wisdom which declared, " A bruised reed will he not break." The world is not made for the prosperous alone, nor for the strong. We may wince at the truth, but we must at length believe it — that the poor in spirit, and the poor in will, and the poor in success, are appointed as pen- sioners upon our care. 212 THE roTiniAU papeijr. In mj' house your sou will miss the luxuries of his home, but he will, perhaps, find as cordial a sympathy in his little interests, and as careful a consultation of his desires and aims. He will have pure air, a tranquil landscape, a pleasant societ}' ; my books, variously selected, my direction and aid in his studies, and a neighborhood to town that will place its resources within his reach. A city, it seems to me, is mainly valuable as a gallery of op- poiiunities. But a man should not live exclusively in his library, nor among his pictures. Letters and art may well decorate his life. But if they are not subsidiary to the man, and his character, then he is a sadder spectacle than a vain book or a poor pic- ture. The eager whirl of a city tends either to beget a thirst that can only be sated by strong, yet dangerous excitement, or to deafen a man's ear, and harden his heart, to the really noble attractions around him. It is well to know men. But men are not learned at the billiard-table, nor in the bar-room, nor by meeting them in an endless round of debauch, nor does a man know the world because he has been to Paris. It is a sad thing for a young man to seek applause by surpassing his companions in that which makes them contemptible. The best men of our own time have little leisure, and the best of other EEV. MR. DOVE TO MRS. POTIPHAK. 213 days have committed their better part to books, wherein we may know and love them. There is nothing more admirable than good society, as there is nothing so fine as a noble man, nor so lovely as a beautiful woman. And to the perfect enjoyment of such society an ease and grace are necessary, which are hardly to be acquired, but are rather, like beauty and talent, the gift of nature. That ease and grace will certainly run great risk of disappearing, in the embrace of a fashion unchas- tened by common sense : and it is observable that the sensitive gaucherie of a countryman is more agreeable than the pert composure of a citizen. I do not deny that your son must lose something, if you accede to my request, but I assuredly believe that he will gain more than he will lose. My pro- fession makes me more dogmatic, probably, than is strictly courteous. But I have observed, in my recent visits to town, that courtesy, also, is getting puny and unmanly, and that a counterfeit, called compliment, is often mistaken for it. You will smile, probably, at my old-fashioned whims, and regret that I am behind my time. But really, it strikes me, that the ineffectual imitation of an ex- ploded social organization is, at least, two centuries behind my time. The youth who, socially speak- ing, are termed Young America, represent, in cha- 214 TUE POTIPHAR PAPEKS. racter and conduct, anything but their own time and their own country. I will not deny that the secret of my interest in your son is an earlier interest in yourself — a wild dream we dreamed together, so long ago that it seems not to be a part of my life. The companion of those other days I do not recognize in the glitter- ing lady I sometimes see. But in her child I trace the likeness of the girl I knew, and it is to the me- mory of that girl — -whose lovely traits I will' still believe are not destroyed, but are somewhere latent in the woman — that I consecrate the task I wish to undertake. I am married, and I am happy. But sometimes, through the sweet tranquillity of my life, streams the pensive splendor of that long- vanished summer, and I cannot deny the heart that will dream of what might have been. Madame, I can wish you nothing more sincerely than that as your lot is with the rich in this world, it may be with the poor in the world to come. Your obedient servant, Henry Dove.