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"CHOICE, CHANCE and CHANGE" 
 
 (1606) 
 
 OR 
 
 GLIMPSES 
 
 OF 
 
 "MERRY ENGLAND" 
 
 IN THE OLDEN TIME. 
 
 EDITED, WITH INTRODUCTION AND NOTES AND ILLUSTRATIONS, 
 
 BY THE 
 
 REV. ALEXANDER B. GROSART, LL.D,, F.S.A., 
 
 St. George's, Blackburn, Lancashire. 
 
 Sixty-two Copies only. 
 
 PRINTED FOR THE SUBSCRIBERS. 
 ,1881. 
 
272 CHOICE, Chance, and Change' (1606): 
 -TW m ° f Merr y E ng^nd in the Olden 
 I ' ft to HSJ& ta k " ' Wf«w*«far] , 1881 "\ 
 
 /losrue "ffiSi*" 1 ^ Bkbtos in the Bodleian data- \ 
 
 lthfS,Vw "^ T t<H>5»8i»ftority being given. Whoever was | 
 
 JggSf. ^ iP ^'"QticeaMy bright and pleLInt J 
 
"CHOICE, CHANCE and CHANGE" 
 
 (1606) 
 
 OR 
 
 GLIMPSES 
 
 OF 
 
 MERRY ENGLAND" 
 
 TN THE OLDEN TIME. 
 
 EDITED, WITH INTRODUCTION AND NOTES AND ILLUSTRATIONS^ 
 
 BY THE 
 
 REV. ALEXANDER B. GROSART, LL.D., F.S.A., 
 
 St. George's, Blackburn, Lancashire. 
 
 Sixty-two Copies only. 
 
 PRINTED FOR THE SUBSCRIBERS. 
 1881. 
 
^1^ °\ s^3 
 
 Printed by Charles E. Sjmws, 
 
 MANCHESTER. 
 
 '«, 
 
 ** 
 
 If 
 
THE FIFTY SUBSCRIBERS. 
 
 (Alphabetically arranged. ) 
 
 i. H. F. Bailey, Esq., London. 
 
 2. The Bodleian Library, Oxford. 
 
 3. The Public Library, Boston, U.S.A. 
 
 4. Henry Bradshaw, Esq., M.A., University Library, Cambridge. 
 
 5. The British Museum, London. 
 
 6. H. T. Hamilton-Bruce. Esq., Edinburgh. 
 
 7. Rev. W. E. Buckley, M.A., Middleton Cheney, Banbury. 
 
 8. The Most Honourable the Marquis of Bute, London. 
 
 9. J. H. Chamberlain, Esq., Birmingham. 
 
 10. Andrew Chatto, Esq., London. 
 
 11. Thomas Chorlton, Esq., Manchester. 
 
 12. The Lord Chief Justice of England. 
 
 13. F. W. Cosens, Esq., F.S.A., London. 
 
 14. James Crossley, Esq., F.S.A., Manchester. 
 
 15. The Right Honourable the Earl of Derby, Knowsley. 
 
 16. His Grace the Duke of Devonshire. 
 
 17. Rev. J. W. Ebsworth, M.A., F.S.A., Molash Vicarage. 
 
 18. G. H. Elt, Esq., London. 
 
 19. F. F. Fox, Esq., Madeley House, Clifton. 
 
 20. H. H. Furness, Esq., Philadelphia, U.S.A. 
 
 21. H. H. GlBBS, Esq., London. 
 
 22. Edmund W. Gosse, Esq., London. 
 
 23. Rev. Dr. Grosart (Editor). 
 
 24. Benjamin Haynes, Esq., Clevedon. 
 
 25. Dr. Ingleby, Valentines, Ilford. 
 
 26. Richard Johnson, Esq., Chislehurst. 
 
 27. John Kershaw, Esq., London. 
 
 28. F. De Mussenden Leathes, Esq., London. 
 
 29. J. M. Mackenzie, Esq., Edinburgh. 
 
 30. T. A. Middleton, Esq., London. 
 
 31. Professor Morley, London. 
 
 32. John Morison, Esq., Glasgow. 
 
 33. Samuel Neil, Esq. , Edinburgh. 
 
 34. Rev. W. L. Nichols, M.A., Woodlands by Bridgewater. 
 
 35. Dr. Brinsley Nicholson, London. 
 
 36. Cornelius Paine, Esq., Brighton. 
 
 37. F. T. Palgrave, Esq., LL.D., London. 
 
 38. Peabody Institute, Baltimore, M'd., U.S.A. 
 
 39. The Most Hon. the Marquis of Ripon, Studley Royal. 
 
 40. George Saintsbury, Esq., London. 
 
 41. Rev. Dr. Salisbury, Thundersley Rectory, Rayleigh. 
 
 42. Rev. Dr. R. S. Scott, Glasgow. 
 
 43. A. G. Snelgrove, Esq., London. 
 
 44. A. C Swinburne, Esq., London. 
 
 45. J. M. Thomson, Esq., Edinburgh. 
 
 46. Charles Walton, Esq., London. 
 
 47. R. S. Watson, Esq., Newcastle-on-Tyne. 
 
 48. John Weston, Northwich. 
 
 49. G. H. White, Esq., Glenthorne, Torquay. 
 
 50. William Wilson, Esq., Berwick-on- Tweed. 
 
 This is to certify that the impression of " Choice, Chance and 
 Change" has been rigidly limited to Sixty-two Copies — fifty as 
 above, and twelve Editor's copies. This is No. .Xh..- Proof- 
 sheets and waste pages have been destroyed. 
 
 
INTRODUCTION. 
 
 IN my Memorial-Introduction to the Works of NICHOLAS 
 Breton I thus wrote : — "An anonymous book that 
 internally seems out-and-out Bretonese is the following : — 
 Choice, Chance and Change : or Conceits in their Colours. 
 ioo5. As I read and re-read this singularly brilliant and 
 unforgetable manners-painting book, I felt here was the 
 ' fine Roman hand ' of Breton. But seeing that there is no 
 external authority for giving it to him, I reluctantly decided 
 not to include it among his Works, but rather perhaps find 
 a place for it among my Occasional Issues." (Vol. i., pp. 
 Ixxiii-iv.) 
 
 I still think that there are phrases and turns of expression 
 and allusions and recurring words, that point to Breton as 
 the author of Choice, Chance, and Change. But I am 
 bound to add, that the general style is less formed and the 
 specific wording less finished than Breton's ; while the play- 
 ing on Will of Wit and other well-known phrases (pp. 29, 
 32, 50) may be accounted for by his popularity and influ- 
 ence on the Writer. It is assigned to Breton in the BOD- 
 LEIAN Catalogue ; but without an authority being given. 
 
 Whoever was the author of Choice, Chance and Change, 
 we have in it a noticeably bright and pleasant book, that — 
 as I have put it in the general title-page — gives us "Glimpses 
 of merry England in the Olden Time," that all to whom it 
 comes [must be glad to get. As a composition, Choice, 
 Chance and Change is facile and fluent rather than well- 
 wrought; but occasionally,— as in the 'Table Talk' dropped 
 and renewed, renewed and dropped, throughout, — we have 
 capital examples of how our Elizabethan and early Jaco- 
 
vi Introduction. 
 
 bean ancestors used to speak while they were under the 
 spell of Euphuism. Still more welcomly, it informs us in 
 the liveliest and most rattling and realistic way, of the man- 
 ner in which they behaved and amused themselves in their 
 wooing and fooling, games and sports and pastimes, and 
 'bridal' and other feastings and country-house meetings. 
 Though all set forth is most 'proper,' when one reads 
 between the lines, it is not hard to discern abundant love of 
 fun, a great deal of (universal) human nature, and, as com- 
 pared with to-day, an outspoken mode of referring to such 
 subjects as harlotry and cuckoldry by young men and 
 maidens, extremely note- worthy. 
 
 In the outset, 'Tidero' attempts to pass off his 'journeyings' 
 as having taken him abroad; but as almost invariably results 
 when a feigned method is adopted, the Author betrays 
 ever and anon that he is really describing different parts of 
 England, and towards the end it becomes quite clear that 
 in the story of ' Sir Swadd ' and his love-story, he is simply 
 speaking of English scenes, people and customs. This fact 
 makes Choice, Chance and Change the more valuable and 
 interesting. Indeed, for myself, I cannot think of a con- 
 temporary book that so vividly actualizes to us the ' rural ' 
 England of the period. Evidently the Writer turned to 
 account all odds and ends that lay to his hand, his main 
 motif probably having been the working in of his epigram- 
 matic Sonnets. 
 
 In the Notes and Illustrations (at the close) I have ac- 
 centuated a number of things in the book ; and now it only 
 remains that I fulfill here the promise of further illustrations. 
 I proceed from about the commencement onward (paging 
 at bottom) : 
 
 Page 3, ' To the Reader' — compared with Breton's Epistle- 
 dedicatory, this has much of his manner. 
 „ 6, 11. 6-y, ' meate-whole, but': " Tid. But, where is now 
 the old shrug at that wicked but "? It "will reward 
 to compare this on 'But' with Touchstone's 
 
Introduction. vii 
 
 playing on 'If ("much virtue in an If") in As 
 You Like It (v, 4). I am haunted with a dim 
 recollection of a kindred dwelling on 'But' in 
 one or other of our Elizabethan Dramatists ; 
 but I cannot put my hands upon it. 
 Page 7, 11. 6-8, " Why how now f doe you take me for a 
 woman, that you come upon mee with a ballad of 
 ' Come Hue with me and be my Loue! " Evidently 
 the beautiful song (or ballad) of Christopher 
 Marlowe soon passed into familiar use. It 
 originally appeared in the Passionate Pilgrim 
 of 1599 as Shakespeare's, and next in England's 
 Helicon of 1600, with Marlowe's name attached- 
 It need hardly be repeated that the Passionate 
 Pilgrim was a bookseller's theftuous compilation 
 and of no authority. Sir Walter Raleigh's 
 NimpKs Reply to the Sheeplieard should never 
 be dissociated from the ' Invitation.' 
 
 „ 12, 11. 3-5, " if he wanted wealth, held a poor man 
 
 if honefly, a knaue, if kindness, a dog? One of 
 many evidences of the little esteem in which the 
 dog was held in Shakespeare's England. It 
 were well if some competent student traced 
 historically the gradual ennoblement of and 
 love for the dog in England. 
 
 „ 14, 1. 8, at bottom — I do not understand the allusions 
 here, apparently made as if in drunken inarti- 
 culate talk. 
 
 „ 15, 1. 18, "a Jhort narrow ftone bridge"; 1. 31, "Apple 
 water, otherwife called Sider" — both these re- 
 ferences, though vague, seem to point out 
 England. 
 
 „ 16, 11. 12 at bottom, onward — This would have de- 
 lighted Isaack Walton ; and so the realistic 
 account of the Shepheard's every-day talk 
 onward. 
 
viii Introduction. 
 
 Page 19, 1. 6 (from bottom) "he that trauailes a good fubietl, 
 comes home againe a traitour " — the Gunpowder 
 Plot was doubtless intended, or Elizabethan 
 plots. 
 „ 22, 1. 6, "the moone is made of a green clieefe" — an 
 early occurrence of the odd saying ; ibid. 1. 8, 
 " Ianuary and May neuer meet togither" — the 
 burden of many a love-lilt on unequal marriages. 
 
 „ 23, 11. 3-4, "An old old, and very very very aged old 
 man''' — later (in 1635) Taylor, the Water- Poet, 
 adopted this as title of his celebration of Parr — 
 The Old, Old, Very Old Man. Parr belonged 
 to Shropshire, and in Choice, Chance and Change 
 there are several Shropshire words. 
 
 „ 30, 1. 7, "Perilous Ape" — used as Shakespeare does 
 'parlous,' e.g., "a parlous fear" {Midsummer 
 Night's Dream, hi, 1); "a parlous state" (As You 
 Like It, iii, 2), et alibi. 
 
 „ 37 — the whole of this is an excellent example of the 
 fashionable and affected conversation of the 
 day. 
 
 „ 38, 1. 16, a great traine of his retinue — one of many 
 curious proofs of our forefathers' uncleanliness. 
 In the Return from Pernassus, one of the pedants 
 comes in picking lice off his sleeves. There 
 was quite Eastern comfort (or discomfort) in 
 Elizabethan England under beard and hair and 
 all " harbouring a great traine of his retinue." 
 
 „ 41, 1. 6 (from bottom), Decorums and Abfurdums — an 
 editor of Strutt would find many bits in Choice, 
 Chance and Change elucidatory and illustrative 
 of his text. 
 
 „ 44 — touches of fine human feeling here, e.g., "when 
 ioyning of hands may caufe the breaking of 
 hearts" &c. (11. 24-5). 
 
 „ 46, — evidently Alchemy was being discredited, albeit 
 
Introduction. ix 
 
 it had a strange revival two generations later, and 
 onward. 
 Page 49, 1. 1 1 (from bottom), "in comes a pojle for puddings" — 
 this is somewhat obscure, but may be explained 
 by either (i) Post as = a courier or special mes- 
 senger, or (2) The door-post of a victualler's shop, 
 and so =bearer of puddings. 
 „ 50, 11. 19-22 — very Bretonese. 
 
 „ 52, 11. 3-4, "the content of the minde bee a kingdome" — 
 doubtless Sir Edward Dyer's well-known poem 
 was in recollection. See also p. 65, 1. 5. 
 „ 64, 1. 2 onward. See Thomas Watson's Teares of 
 Fancie (Son. Ix) for a sonnet of the same form 
 and so ending. 
 „ 69, 1. 4, 'a Gentleman of the firft head' — a metaphor 
 from hunting, as in Love's Labour Lost (iv. 2), 
 "my buck of the first head," i.e., of the first year 
 that it was a buck. So here, the first year of the 
 first gentleman of his house. 
 Our present book must not be confounded with Simon 
 Robson (Dean of Bristol's), " The Choice of Change : con- 
 taining the Triplicitie of Diuinitie, Philosophie, and Poetrie ; 
 Short for Memorie, Profitable for Knowledge, and Neces- 
 sarie for Maners : whereby the Learned may be confirmed, 
 the Ignorant instructed, and all men generally recreated." 
 As the earliest known exemplar (1585) bears that it is 
 *' Newly set foorth," there must have been a prior edition. 
 Another appeared in 1598. I have read this Choice of 
 Change in the rare exemplar in the Chetham Library, 
 Manchester. It has occasional bits of notable thought and 
 wording ; but is a thin and poor production beside our 
 Choice, Chance and Change. The successive editions of the 
 one over-against the solitary issue of the other, is one of 
 many illustrations of the arbitrary and accidental character 
 of the fate of books. 
 
 I wish very heartily to thank my good friend Dr. 
 
 B 
 
x Introduction. 
 
 BrinSLEY Nicholson of London for kind help in anno- 
 tating. And so I leave Choice, Chance and Change to win 
 for itself readers. 
 
 ALEXANDER B. GROSART. 
 
 St. George's Vestry. 
 
 Blackburn, Lancashire, 
 
 4th February, 1881. 
 
 %* After above was sent off, the following Shakesperean 
 note reached me from Dr. Brinsley Nicholson. I 
 gladly give it place — "See p. 63, 11. 17-21 'as wel- 
 come, earning ' It is clear from this passage and 
 
 others that I have met with, that when a lady (or possibly 
 a gentleman) at table, wished to show honour or favour or 
 deference to another, she carved for him, not merely by 
 such quiet looks and gestures as would be adopted in like 
 case at the present day, but with all that meaning fussiness 
 which was then the mode. Hence arose the metaphorical 
 use of ' carve,' which we find possibly once in Shakespeare, 
 ' she discourses, she carves ' (Merry Wives, i. 3), for ' carve 
 her drink to her ' is certainly I think a use in its ordinary 
 sense. But certainly it is so used in [Sir] William Harbert's 
 Proph. of Cadw. 
 
 ' There might you Caius Marcus caiving find,' 
 
 where 'carving' is metaphorically used as descriptive of 
 such gestures of deference, &c, as one used at that time 
 when carving for an honoured or favoured person. In 
 Dyce's Glossary, however, he plainly gives passages as ex- 
 amples of this metaphorical use, which are merely examples 
 (as seen by the context) of the literal use, the fantasticism 
 of such gestures in that age being left out of count." 
 
CHOICE, CHANCE 
 
 and change: 
 
 OR, 
 
 Conceites in their Colours. 
 
 Imprinted at London for Nathaniell Fq/irooke, and are 
 
 to be fold at his fhop in Pauls Churchyard at the 
 
 figne of the Helmet. 1606. 
 
TO THE READER. 
 
 F your choife chaunce to bee good, 
 change it not, if your conceit chance 
 to chufe amiffe, allowe it not : If it 
 carry a good colour, and the cloth be 
 naught, efteem it not : but if it be good 
 and you conceite it not, change your 
 humor, but keepe your choife : In briefe, here are con- 
 ceits of diuerfe colours, fome in graine and none but 
 will bide the weather : but if you be in loue, here is a 
 leffon for your learning, where you may find paflion 
 put to her patience, wit to his whirligigge, the foole to 
 his part, and the better conceite to his beft corner : ma- 
 ny wild Geefe fiie in their owne feathers, and a tame 
 duck is a pretie fowle : In fom, there is nothing fo good 
 but may be mended, nor fo ill but may bee well taken : 
 kind fellowes and honeft wenches I know will not be 
 angry, and if any man be out of his wits, God fend him 
 well into them againe : and fo hoping that good con- 
 cedes, will chufe the beft and leaue the worft, I will 
 change kind thankes for kind acceptance, and fo reft, as 
 I find caufe. 
 
 Infert thefe words into the beginning of the eight leafe before 
 the dnd of the Booke : I could be glad of your fau. &c. 
 
A 
 Dialogue, after a friendlie greeting, 
 vpon a fodaine meeting betweene Arnofilo 
 and Tidero : as they trauailed vpon the way, be- 
 twixt Mount Ierkin, and the great City at the 
 foot of the wood, in the long valley. 
 
 Ar. "-->,:,-; -~™™-~y.-i*\IDER O, Well met, of all 
 
 the men in the world, I 
 would nener heme thought 
 to haue feene you in thefe 
 parts : why ? how many 
 thou/and yeeres Jince I 
 faw you lajl. 
 
 Tidero : Not many 
 thoufand : what ? am I 
 become a fpirite that 
 you wonder at mee ? this is as good as a good yeer on 
 you : how long haue you been away, and how haue you 
 done fince yefternight : is a yeere or two fuch a time of 
 abfence, as if one should come out of his graue to maze 
 the world with miracles? I muft confeffe I haue beene 
 abroade, and haue feene more then I haue eaten, and 
 
 B I drunke 
 
2 Choice, Chance 
 
 clrunke more then hath done mee good : but what of 
 that ? all is well that ends well : and therefore hoping 
 that you will leaue your wondering, in honeft kind- 
 neffe tell me how you doe ? and haue done euer since I 
 faw you ? 
 
 Ar. Sometime well, and fometime fo fo : meate whole, 
 but: 
 
 Tid. But, where is now the old fhrug at that wicked 
 but ? an old mezill will haue a mifers tricke : if you had 
 bin where I haue been, and endured that I haue don, you 
 would leaue your fhrinking of your fhoulder, at the 
 burthen of eafe. 
 
 Ar. Why, but tell me, haft thou been a trauailer f 
 
 Tid. I haue walked a little over the great water, fome 
 ten thoufand of miles, and yet haue found the waye 
 home againe. 
 
 Ar. And for ought I fee, thou art welcome home, and no 
 doubt but many of thy friends will be glad to fee thee : for my 
 felfe, I am glad euen with all my hart, to fee theefo wel. 
 
 Tid. You are glad of your eiefight, and fo I think are 
 many more, that after the common fafhion carrye the 
 name of friends, but : 
 
 Ar. Tufli I pray thee, leaue thy But : I doubte thou 
 haft mette with fome vnkind kindred, fained friende, hol- 
 lowe companion, cogging Rafcall, or dogged pefaunte, that 
 hath giuen you a dry falutation, bidden you to a hugry break- 
 faft, that you are not in full true charity with all the world: 
 But put away melancholic, let the Diuell goe hang himfelfe, 
 one honefl man is worth a hundred beggers : and for my 
 poore flate, thou knowefl it: and fuch as it is, take parte with 
 it: goe home with mee, andflaie till I bidde thee goe. I pro- 
 
 teft 
 
and Change. 3 
 
 left IJJiall bee glad of thee : and for my little wealth, I had ra- 
 ttier fpeud it on fueji a companion, then leane it to a fight of 
 Churles : for thou knoweft I haue no flore of Heires, and 
 therefore I pray thee bee, let vs be merry, and let vs Hue to- 
 gether. 
 
 Tid, Why how now ? doe you take me for a woman, 
 that you come vpon mee with a ballad, of Come Hue 
 with me and be my Loue ; well, loffe of time is but ven- 
 tered ware, and the gaine of repentance, but the greefe 
 of vnderftanding ; but, I will hope the belt, that I 
 haue now found a man, whofe breathe is not poifo- 
 ned. 
 
 Ar. Poifonedman, God forbid ; but fay, wherewithall doeft 
 thou meanef 
 
 Tid. With deceit, lying, diffembling, in effeft all one 
 kind of poifon ; which in thefe days is as comon among 
 men, as painting among women. 
 
 Ar. Fy vpon it, talke not of it, for my wifefhe Iamfure v- 
 feth not the one, and for my f elf God bleffe me from the other: 
 But leaue tricks to trick ers, and tell me I pray thee in a word, 
 what haft thoufeen in thy trauaile ? 
 
 Tid. In a word, variety : I cannot in one word better 
 expreffe the fum of all : for indeed I haue feen much, & 
 much varietie in that I haue feene. 
 
 Ar. As how I pray theef 
 
 Tid. I haue feene the greate water called the Sea, 
 to which compared, the greateft Riuer is but a lit- 
 tle Channell, and the greateft flood, except that which 
 was in the time of Noah, is but as a difh of water : the 
 tafte of which water is falte : and in this water Hue a 
 whole worlde of ftraunge fifties ; of which I haue feen 
 
 B 2 fome 
 
4 Choice, Chance, 
 
 fome very great, fome not fo great, and fome far leffe : 
 but, as vpon the Land, fo in the Sea, I faw the great eat 
 vp the little : a Whale would hunt a whole fkull of He- 
 rings, and fwallow down a number of them : The Por- 
 poife would hunt the Samon and the Shad, the Seale 
 would feed vpon the Whiting, but the Whale would 
 take order with a world of fmall fifhes : and fo you fee 
 vpon the land, among the fowles of the ayr : the Eagle 
 vpon the Phefant or the Poulte : the Faulcon vpon the 
 Mallard, or the Partridge, the Hobby vpon the Larke, 
 and fo ftill the great feede vppon the fmall ones : fo in 
 beafts the Wolfe vpon the fheepe, the dog vpon the 
 hare, the Fox vpon the Lamb, the greater euer makes 
 his pray vpon the leffe : and yet as in birds and beafts, fo 
 in fifhes haue I obferued, that the fword fifh, and the 
 Dolphin will be the death of a Whale ; a little Iacke of 
 a Marlin, will be on the neck of a Partridge, and a little 
 dog will put downe a great Beare. 
 
 Ar. Yea, but they can neuer do it, but when they haue them 
 at aduantage. 
 
 Tid. That is vnderftood, but they doe fo : how euer 
 they catche them at it. 
 
 Ar. Yea, they do indeed, but how they do it, that would be 
 knowne. 
 
 Tid. It is not for me to looke after, for I will neyther 
 flie into the Ayr to afke the birds, nor diue into the fea, 
 to afke the fifhes : nor be a beaft on the land, to learne a 
 note of their nature, and yet there comes much good 
 by them. 
 
 Ar. As how I pray thee ? 
 
 Tid. Why when a Whale is wounded, he will runne 
 
 to 
 
and Change. 5 
 
 to the shore, and then the fifhermen make much mony 
 of his oyle, when a Marlin killeth a Partridge, the faul- 
 coner fares the better, and when the dog pulls downe 
 the Beare, it makes fport for the mafter of the game. 
 
 Ar. Thou faiejl true, but let them alone with their /ports, & 
 tell me what els fawejl thou at thefea f 
 
 Tid. I faw how woodden horfes went with the wind, 
 which carried men and Merchandize, ouer the water 
 from one land to another : but fometimes, with a fo- 
 daine tempeft man & horfe ouerthrown vpon a Rock, 
 and the goods all note or drownd, fomtime man, horfe 
 and ware through a leake, fink all into the fea : fomtime 
 fwallowed in a fand, and fometime vpon a fodaine one 
 fall vpon another, and by fire and fword, one or both 
 fall to deftruction : thefe horfes were called Shippes, 
 Pinnaces, Hoyes and fuch like : and let me tell you, as 
 Dauid the Prophet faid : he that paffeth the deepe feeth 
 the wonders of the Lord : for if I fhould tell thee what 
 dangers I haue efcaped, both by fea and land, thou wol- 
 deft fay, I were bound to praife God. 
 
 Ar. Thou faiejl well, I hatie heard fo much of the daungers 
 of the fea, that I care not, if I keepe one foot of Land : but I 
 pray thee tell me a little further of thy trauaile. 
 
 Tid. I will tell you, at fea I faw none of thofe toyes 
 that I haue heard fooles talk of, as Mermaides and Sy- 
 renes, for they are in deede but fictions : but I faw in a 
 cleer day, a great depth vnder one fhip vpon a calm, in 
 a ftill water, the tops of fteeples and old ftone walles, 
 which the Sea had fwallowed by fom great breache o- 
 uer the banks of that country : and as I heard afterward 
 in my trauaile, in the drowning of thofe townes there 
 
 perifhed 
 
6 Choice, Chance, 
 
 perifhed a worlde of people, and no fmall maffe of 
 wealth. 
 
 Arnofilo. A pittifull Spetlacle and yet we fee, wlien 
 wealth breedeth pride, GOD will fend vs a fore plague : 
 but I pray thee proceede, and tell me of thy further Tra- 
 uaile. 
 
 Tid. I will : when I firft arriued on fhore with fome 
 other of the Shippe, wherein I made my paffage, I be- 
 held the Soile, which was as this is, replenifhed with 
 graffe, herbs, flowers, and trees, and fo forth : and for the 
 Fowles they did fly, the Beaftes did feede, and men and 
 woemen did walke and talke as we doe : onely they did 
 vary in their attire, and in theyr language from vs : 
 the poore did for the moft part drinke water, and the 
 ritch wine ; the poore fedde moft vpon herbes, rootes, 
 courfe bread, and little flefh : the riche vpon fuch Cates 
 as the country will yeelde : their cities were faire to the 
 eie, but flight for the fubftance, their wealth great, but 
 in few mens hands, their lawes ftricte, and well obfer- 
 ued ; the Men, neither Pigmeis nor monfters ; their wo- 
 men fome fair, fome foule : but one thing I noted chief- 
 ly in the country, that in euery houfe the inhabitants 
 had a priuate law in their owne houfes, and one neigh- 
 bour with another, befides the common lawes of the 
 country. 
 
 Arnofilo. For thofe, in that they may bee tedious to 
 thee to recite, T will deferre them till another time: but, 
 I pray thee tell mee fomething of the priuate lawes among 
 them. 
 
 Tid. Betwixt neighbours it was one Law, that eue- 
 ry man fhoulde pay his owne houfe rent, and not 
 
 to 
 
and Change. 7 
 
 to truft vnto his neighbour. Another Law, that euery 
 man fhould prouide for his owne houfhold all things 
 neceffary, and not to borrow of his neighbour : an other 
 Lawe, that no man fhould owe his neihbour any thing 
 but compliments : an other was that no man fhould be 
 bould with his neighbours wife, further then fhe wold 
 let him, howfoeuer the common Law woulde direct 
 him. No man fhould flander his neighbours wife, for 
 feare of hurting him, and doing her no good : No man 
 fhould tell tales, though true, betwixt partie and par- 
 tie, that might mooue ftrife, for breaking of peace : 
 No man fhould denie a kindneffe promifed vnto his 
 neighbour, or his wife, leaft he fhould grow angry, and 
 fhee take thought : No man might make homes at 
 his neighbour, though he knew him to bee a cuck- 
 olde, for feare of breeding of bate betwixte a Man 
 and his wife : thefe with many other priuate Lawes, 
 were verie ftraightly and carefully obferued, betwixt 
 neighbour and neighbour : befides, there is one o- 
 ther that I had forgotten, and that is this, tha[t no] 
 man might father his neighbours childe, how[foeuer] 
 hee had talked with the mother of it, for feare [it] bre[ed] 
 the Fathers vnkindeneffe, and the Mothers vndoo- 
 ing. 
 
 Ar. Prety Lawes, and well noted ; I fee there was fome 
 good fellowfhippe among them, and that they had a care of 
 their bufinejfe : it was well, for without thefe lawes, knaues and 
 fools might haue done much hurt : what was the punifhment to 
 bee layde vppon tlie ojfendors in any of thefe items, or priuate 
 Lawes ? 
 
 Tid. 
 
8 Choice, Chance, 
 
 Tid. No open matter of fhame, but among them- 
 felues he that did offend, according to the nature of his 
 offence was cenfured : if he wanted wealth, held a poor 
 man, if he wanted wit, a foole : if honefty, a knaue, if kind- 
 neffe, a dog : and fo though fuffered to bee a dweller, yet 
 not efteemed as a neighbour. 
 
 Ar. Truely good, fo it Jhould be, as the world goes : neigh- 
 bours fhould be kind one to another, or els there were no neigh 
 bourhood: but tell me I pray thee a little of the priuate lawes 
 in eache houfe. 
 
 Tid. If a man were married to a fcold, let her work for 
 her liuing, and pray for patience. 
 
 If a woman were maried to a foole, let him walke to 
 wind yarne, or pick nuts. 
 
 If a man had a whore to his wife, to think of his own 
 cafe, and fo to conceale his forrowe, or bee rid of his 
 mifchiefe. 
 
 If a woman be maried to an Eunuche, to do fomething 
 to faue his fhame from knowledge. 
 
 [No] man muft goe to market without money, nor to 
 [labour] without meate. 
 
 No m[an] muft go to bed till he be fleepy, nor rife till 
 [he awaketh]. 
 
 No m[an] muft looke for money till he haue earned it, 
 nor pay money till he haue it. 
 
 Many other fuch lawes, or Items there are agreed vp- 
 on, among them, which were but tedious to recite : fom 
 of which, I haue forgotten, but thefe I can well remem- 
 ber. 
 
 Ar. Prety noted, I thank thee for them with all my hart : 
 but what punifhment is there appointed for the offenders, in 
 
 any 
 
Choice, Chance, 9 
 
 any of thefe agreements : 
 
 Tid. I will tel you, he that will liue with a fcoulde 
 muft be laught at for his labour : 
 
 Shee that is wife to a fool, liues in fufpition of God 
 forbid. 
 
 Hee that will liue with a whore muft wear a greate 
 cap : 
 
 Shee that is married to an Eunuch mufte goe to phi- 
 fick for the greene ficknes. 
 
 He that goes to market without mony muft come 
 home without meate : 
 
 Hee that dines without meate, muft feed vpon fad- 
 ing: 
 
 He that goes to bed til he be fleepy, muft lie & tum- 
 ble till he be weary : and he that rifeth ere he be wake 
 muft be held for a mad man. 
 
 Hee that lookes for mony he knowes not why, muft 
 haue it he knowes not when, and hee that will paie it 
 ere hee haue it, mufte bee wondered at of all the 
 worlde : 
 
 Ar. Gramercy good wagge, for thy good noutes, pretty laws, 
 and pretty punifhments, if it zvere worfe, it would not beefo 
 well : for Scolds and whores, and fooles and cuekolds would 
 be out of order for pride, if they were not taken doivn with 
 fome trick : And to tell a truth, it is requijite that a manfhold 
 not bee fo lazy as to goe to bed, ere hee bee fleepy, nor fo 
 madde as to rife in a dreame : fo foolifh to goe to market 
 without monye, or fo peeuifh, as to dine without meat, or fo 
 childifh, as for to look for mony without defart, and to paie it 
 before hee haue it, why it is a thing impoffible : and therfore 
 tlie Agreements are good, I like them well: pit tie but 
 
 C they 
 
 13 
 
io Choice, Chance, 
 
 theyjhould be kepte : But I pray tltee, tell me a little further 
 of thy trauell, in that country or any other. 
 
 Tid. I will tell you : for the greate men, I durft not 
 look too greatly at them : for fear their greatnes would 
 haue too greate an eie at my looking ; onely I fawe, 
 they were well proportioned, ftrong limmed, manlike 
 faces, wore good cloathes, rode on fat horfes, pinched 
 not their owne bellies, nor were not afraide of 
 a cuppe of wine, kept their cuntries in peace, and liued 
 in a league of greate loue : this was all that I there no- 
 ted, amonge the greate ones : and for the name of the 
 Countrie, as I heard ; it was called, Terra Straue. 
 
 Ar. I find it not in the mappe by that name, but tis no mat- 
 ter, on with thy difcourfe. 
 
 Tid, For the meaner fort of people, yet not the ba- 
 feft, for thofe are alike euery where : Roges will begge, 
 beggars will not be bafhfull, fooles will crie, and dogs 
 will barke, and therefore let them paffe ; but, for the 
 better fort, I found them good fellowes, of what con- 
 dition foeuer : Male, or female, Learned, or vnlearned, 
 there would none be out, for his hand in a helth, how- 
 foeuer they had fared : the Schollar would difpute vp- 
 on none but the full pointe, and the vnlearned by Ex- 
 perience had a caroufe, at the higheft : Ciuill cariage 
 and fair conditioned, drink, and fpende and paie, like 
 right lads and not quarrell, till the cuppe had made a 
 conqueft of al the copany ; & the ipfe hee qui the which 
 leapte ouer the hedge, and fel in the ditch, A, B, C, non 
 habet P : how roufts the henne when the cock is a fleep: 
 tis twelue a clock, and god giue you good night. 
 
 Ar. But is it poffible, was there fuch good felloivfhip f 
 
 much 
 
and Change. 1 1 
 
 much good do their hearts, and yet tis piity the? was not more 
 daunting and leffe driiike : for then their heeles might 'haue 
 Jield vp their heads, and their waies might haue been fit for a 
 better worke : butfo long, as they went all one waie, I like the 
 better of their trauell. 
 
 Tid. Oh Sir : a little nap makes them as fresh as if they 
 had neuer been falted : and daunce and fing, and if need 
 bee a better thinge : tufhe they are a gallant peo- 
 ple, the men were good mufitians, and there wenches 
 would fing excellently : but for that I had no long time 
 to tary there, I could not obferue much more then I 
 haue told you : and therefore if the time wil giue vs 
 leaue, I will tell you what I faw in an other countrie 
 which I next fell vpon. 
 
 Ar. / praie thee doe, thou canjl not pleafe mee bet- 
 ter. 
 
 Tid. I will tell you : croffing but a little riuer, and it 
 was ouer a fhort narrow ftone bridge, I fell into a 
 Country that had another name, which mighte well 
 be : for in many things me thoughte it differed in na- 
 ture. 
 
 Ar. As how f I praie thee tell me. 
 
 Tid. Firft for the foyle it was more full of fand, and 
 Duft, and not fo fair and fat, as the neighbour country, 
 yet had it no lack of wood, nor Corne nor fruite : For 
 the country people, I meane the meaneft fort fed 
 much of garden commodities ; which with helpe of a 
 little oyle, and fcarce fweet butter, made them difhes 
 of meat fit for their ftomackes : and their drinke was 
 mofte either vpon plaine water of the brooke, or 
 vpon Apple water, otherwife called Sider which 
 
 C 2 was 
 
 »5 
 
12 Choice, Chance, 
 
 which was in a manner their wine : their villages large 
 and their houfes ftrong, though nothing ftately : the 
 people moft plaine without welt or guarde, or almofte 
 wit or vnderftanding, more then to know their owne, 
 the way to the Church and the field, and the Taphoufe 
 if [there were any in the Towne, the way to the Market 
 and home againe ; to plough, and plant, and fowe, and 
 reape, to thrafh and grind, to make hard bread and eat 
 it with ftrong teeth, to make Loue ill fauouredly and to 
 get children to furnifh the parifh : thefe were the main 
 points of their conditions : for to talk of more then a 
 Codshead, would trouble a fifherman, the fhephearde 
 more then of a fheepshead, nor the ploweman further 
 then his tillage : nor the Butcher more then his Bullock : 
 for if you did goe any further, you did but trouble their 
 capacities : but for thofe matters you fhould hear them 
 talke fo fauourly, that if you did want witt to confider 
 how foone thofe fmall Cunnings would bee learned, 
 you would haue been buried in a dungheape, ere you 
 ■could get out of the cleane: oh how the fifherman 
 would difcourfe of his angle, his line, his cork, his lead, 
 his bait, his net, his grinne, his leape, his weere, and I 
 know not what ; his obferuing of time day and night, 
 his patience to attend, his crafte in drawing his baite 
 along the ftreame, his dreffing of his baite to drawe 
 the fifh to it, his playing with the fifh when he hadde 
 him, his hoifing of him out of the water, and then what 
 -a meffe of meate he could make of him, although per- 
 happes it prooued all but a Gudgin : but if it were a 
 Codshead, his lippes would bee worth the licking, 
 and in this was his Element, heere was his ftudy, and 
 
 in 
 
 j 6 
 
and Change. 13 
 
 in thefe matters of little moment, would hee fpend 
 the whole fpirit of his vnderftanding. With whome, 
 although it were no greate hurte, for to loofe a little 
 time, yet it was fome pleafure for to heare him, 
 and befides to noate his kinde of pride in his poore 
 trade. 
 
 The Sheepheard he would fo talke of his Rammes 
 and his Weathers, of his Ewes and his Lambs, his hogs 
 and his fheerlings : the big bone, and the fine wooll, the 
 deepe fide, and the broad loines : the nature of theyr 
 breed, and of their feed, their wafhing, their (hearing, 
 their marking, their folding, their difeafes and their me- 
 dicines : the Flie and the Scabbe, and how to trimme 
 them, and picke them, and dreffe them, and then with a 
 figh to talk of the Rot, and what a heauy thing it is a- 
 mong them : to be fhort, if you had time to attend the 
 end of his difcourfe, there is no Heraulde in fearching 
 out and deliuering of a coate of a very greate Antiqui- 
 ty, could weary you more then hee would your pati- 
 ence, with a tale of the Petigree of fome of his choyce 
 Cattell : for fuch a Ramme was of fuch an Ewe, that 
 was bredde in fuch a grounde, of fuch a Mans, that 
 had fo many Rammes from fuch a ground, and he that 
 was the Mafter of fuch a ground brought fom twenty 
 Rammes from fuch a Country, and withall the owner 
 of thofe Sheepe had them out of fuch a Shire, of 
 the beft ftrayne that was in all that Countrey, and 
 they in that Country : came I know not from whence, 
 but and if I woulde haue ftayed for to haue heard him 
 out, I thinke that he woulde neuer haue left, till he had 
 come to Iacob, or Laban, or Abel/ the firft Shephearde 
 
 that 
 
 '7 
 
14 Choice, Chance, 
 
 that euer was, to come to the Straine of his Sheepe : 
 but, I left at a point enough for my learning : for I ga- 
 thered out of all in briefe, how foon he that had mony 
 might learne to gaine by fheep, though he would not 
 lap himfelfe in a fheeps fkinne : but, if you fhould take 
 him out of his element, then he was gone, and you did 
 his capacity much hurt : for, there was the fumme of his 
 worlds paradife : of which he would fpeake with fuch a 
 feeling contentment, that it were pitty fuch a fpirite 
 fhould be drawn from his pleafure : but, to be fhort, by 
 the fum of his fpeech I gathered in briefe, with mony 
 how to make a good fhepheard in a little time : on a 
 hard ground breed fmall fheepe : on a fat ground big- 
 ger boned : put not the Rams to the Ewes too foon, for 
 feare the Lamb be to[o] forward : looke to them for the 
 Scab, and the flie, lead I loofe my fheepe, or my fheepe 
 loofe her fleece : giue them dry layer, for fear of the rot ; 
 and in lamming time, to take heed of the Fox, the wolfe 
 the Brock, and other vermine : to wafh them in fayre 
 weather, not to fheare them till they be dry, and take 
 heede of clipping their fkinnes, for feare of the flie : 
 to put them in good pafture, and haue an eie to them 
 for feare of the theefe : many other fuch kind of matters 
 belong to the care of fuch a courfe : but, becaufe I ra- 
 ther defired the knowledge, then the profeffion of it, I 
 left him to his flock, which God bleffe to his holy plea- 
 fure, and fo an end. Then fell I in with the ploughman, 
 who tolde me fuch a tale of the nature of the earth, of 
 the choife of his feede, of his firft and fecond tilthe, of 
 his manuring, plowing, fowing, harrowing, reaping, 
 binding, carting, pitching, mowing, threfhing, winnow- 
 ing- 
 
 18 
 
and Change. 15 
 
 ing and fanning: and fo putting vp into the Garner for 
 ftore, or into the facks for the mill, or the market, with 
 haye Ree, & Who to his horfe ; and hum and hah to me 
 with fuch a garlicke breath, as would haue poifoned a 
 dog : I learned enough in a little time, to feme me for a 
 great while ; for though I loue to know any thing, yet 
 God bleffe my brains, for my limmes are not now 
 fit for labour : Age and trauaile, hath giuen them too 
 great a weakneffe, befides the nature of my fpirit, that 
 though it hath carried my bodie on the earth, yet 
 hath it euer looked aboue the earth, for my com- 
 forte. 
 
 Ar. / thanke thee for that yet, with all my hearte : and 
 I am not a little glad to heare it: that all the worlde cannot 
 make thee to forget heauen : for it is no little happineffe to fee 
 much, & knowe much, and make good vfe of all: For, cannot a 
 man be afifher, but he mufl gape like a cods head ? nor bee 
 mafier of a fewe fheepe, but he mufl Hue and die in a fheepes 
 coate f or haue a barn full of come, but hee mufte bee bounde 
 prentife to his flaile ? the miller to his mare may doe well both 
 to carry fackes, but the Maifter of them both flioulde not 
 put his wits into a bagge : beleeue me, it is not a little grief e 
 to think how men beefoole themfelues, or the deuil bewitch- 
 es men with folly : why, is it not a myferie to think, howe the 
 breath of one villaine, poyfons the heartes of an hundred : 
 W/ien he that trauailes a good fubieel, comes home againe a 
 traytor, ferues god at home, and the deuill abroad, goes 
 fourthe to gaine honour, and comes home to bee hanged ? are 
 not thefe pittifull illufions ? zvell, happy art thou that hqfte 
 been infected with none of thefe difeafes : but tel mee I pray 
 thee, what didft thou further note in the courtes, and cities of 
 
 that 
 
 *9 
 
1 6 and Change. 
 
 that country and other, where thou hajl been. 
 
 Tid. I will : the citties in that country were large, & 
 well builded, for ftrength more then beauty, for they 
 were moft of ftone, and couered with a kinde of flate, 
 but many of theyr townes were decaied, their caftles, 
 and chief howfes, ruinated, as it fhould feeme, either 
 by fome ciuill warres, or fome unciuil Enemy : for 
 the gouernors, they wer men of further matter for theyr 
 wit, the their afpedts did make promife of : and yet 
 they would knit the browes, look vnder the Eies, ftroke 
 downe their beards, nod with their heads, fhake vp 
 poore men ; whippe Roges, Rate Beggars, emprifon 
 offenders, hang vp theeues and in all they could feeke 
 to maintaine peace : that was one thing I cheefely no- 
 ted in their Citties : but for their courts I ftaied fo little 
 a while in them, that I cannot iuftly faie any thing in 
 their commendation ; and yet in the contrary I would 
 faie as little, for feere I fhoulde wrong them : But in 
 their townes, and citties, I fawe many things and ma- 
 ny prettie lawes, and cuftomes among them, which in 
 mine opinion were not vnworthy the noting : The firft 
 law was, that no man fhould marry a faire wench with- 
 out mony, except hee were rich : for feare of the home 
 for want of maintenance. 
 
 Item that no old woman that had wealth and children 
 fhould marry a young beggar, for feare of wafting her 
 childres goods, and putting her felfe to her patience : 
 
 No man aged fhould marry a wench too young, for 
 feare of the curfe of contrarietyes. 
 
 No man fhould be a ftranger to his owne howfe, for 
 fear his wife would prooue a goflip. 
 
 No 
 
and Change. 17 
 
 No woman fliould be mafter of her hufband, for feare 
 of the next neighbors riding. 
 
 No man mould bring his horfe into a liable, but he 
 fhould pay for his meat ere he came out. 
 
 No man fhould take more then he had warrant for, left 
 he fhould anfwer it at the gallowes. 
 
 No vintner fhould mingle water with his wine, except 
 he were allowed it by his Company. 
 
 No Tailor fhould put more ftuffe in a garment, then 
 was allowed him for his meafure. 
 
 No fhoemaker fhould make his fhoos to[o] ftrong, for 
 fear they hold to[o] long. 
 
 No Tradesman fhould fell his ware too good cheape, 
 for feare of hinderance to his Trade. 
 
 No Iefter fhould bee fauoured of the wife, for feare of 
 being more knaue then foole. 
 
 No Conftable fhould be fuffered to be drunk, for feare 
 the watchmen fhould fall afleepe. 
 
 No Fool fhould inherit too much land, for fear a knaue 
 fhould to[o] foone alter the property. 
 
 He that could get no children fhould not mary : and 
 fhe that could not abide a man, fhould bee fet to keepe 
 chickens. 
 
 No man might haue two wives, for feare of breeding 
 vnquietnes. 
 
 No woman might haue two hufbands, for feare fhe 
 fhould be in loue with neither. 
 
 Many other fuch idle things there were agreed vp- 
 on among them ; which for tedioufnes I let paffe : for 
 being no maters of great moment, it is no great matter 
 for their remembrance, only thus much I remember, 
 
 that 
 
1 8 Choice, Chance, 
 
 that no man fhould be found drunke in a houfe, but he 
 fhould be laid in the ftreete till he were fober. 
 
 Ar. Prety items, and good reafon for the keeping of them : 
 for as I faid before, lack of care among mad people, may be the 
 fpoile of a whole market ; it is not meet that men fliould be per- 
 fivaded, that the moon is made of a green cheefe ; it is a princi- 
 ple in Philofphy : Contraries cannot be togither : age and 
 youth cannot be in one predicament : January and May ne- 
 tier meet togither, but, if age long to be in his graue, youth wil 
 be a goodflaffe to lead him to it : but I mean the crooked crip- 
 ples, that are not able to looke vp fo high as the eie of Venus, 
 with a golden flioivr will think to come in at the window of her 
 chamber : and therefore fuch an abfurdum fhould not paffe in 
 the fchoole of Cupid : though that fom time, for breeding, an 
 oldjlalian, may be better then a yong Colte. 
 
 Secondly, he that is aflranger to his ivife, is worthy to find 
 her aftraggler : andfhe that is ma Her of her husband mujl 
 weare the breeches. 
 
 Againe, hay is deare, prouender is cofily, and horfe meate 
 rnufl be paied for, and therefore let trauailers looke to their 
 purfes. 
 
 And for tlieeues, when they are hanged honeft men thriue 
 the better. 
 
 For Vintners, Tailers, Shoomakers, and all Tradefmen, pitty 
 but they fhould Hue by their trades. 
 
 And for a drunken Conflable, why he may be the fpoile of a 
 watch, but for fooles and iejlers the world is pretily well rid of 
 them, and therfore I fay no more to them. But I pray thee go 
 on with thy trauail, and tell mefomwhat els that thou haftfeen 
 and noted. 
 
 Tid. I faw fomthing that it grieued me to fee, and 
 
 no 
 
and Change. 19 
 
 no leffe to remember. 
 
 I faw in a City or borrough towne, I know not well 
 whether a pitifull fight, An old old, and very very very 
 aged old man, with a moft exceeding ill fauoured and 
 ougly face, and a much far and a great deale worfe bo- 
 dy, whofe legs were worfe then wood, for they would 
 haue flood vpright, which his could not ; with a pair of 
 eies worfe then glaffe, for they were cleer and his were 
 not : and, with fuch a breath, as except to the ftink of 
 a rotten toothe, I cannot compare it to any ill fauor in 
 the world. Now this vntimely, mifbegotten and accur- 
 fed borne creature, was (alas that I fhould fpeake it) 
 maried for his money to a moft fayr, fweet, yong, dain- 
 ty, ftrait, fine damfell, that a man might fee in a whole 
 city : oh fine loue that could be betwixt them. 
 
 Ar. Fy vpon it, what an onerfight was that in the whole 
 parifh f why, the maids or the young men, crfome good body 
 or other might haue forbid the banes, or haue taken hir away 
 from him, by the way : was there neuer an Orlando that wold 
 venter a Urn for Iffabell ? 
 
 Tid. Yes that there was, for elfe I feare I fhould haue 
 fpoild the Groome, howfeuer it woulde after haue 
 fain out with the Bride ; but, to tell you what fell out, 
 vpon a fodaine as this monfter of a Man was comming 
 homewards to his own houfe, a little from the towne, 
 in a little Lane at the turning of a hedge, were prepa- 
 red for the purpofe tenn gallant Caualieroes, well 
 horfed, and weaponed, and euery way fully appointed 
 for the purpofe, : put the peafaunte to his palf[r]ey, and on 
 a fpare horfe furnifhed for the purpofe, took the Bride 
 in all her ritche Iewells and coftly attire, and farre 
 D 2 from 
 
20 Choice, Chance, 
 
 from that country carried her, from whence he coulde 
 neuer fetch her : for griefe whereof, I meane his rich 
 Chaines of pearls, and iewels wherewith hee had a- 
 dorned his worlds idol, he took fuch a heauines in his 
 hearte, as tumbled his head into his graue : and fhee 
 fweet Lady, liued a happy life with a more worthy be- 
 loued. 
 
 Ar. More faiejl thou ? why leffe worthy could none bee, if 
 he were as thou hajl d ef crib ed him : oh curfedpelf, that makes 
 fuch a Coblatiue coniunclion : but this is the fault of ma- 
 ny fooles, that, as Iewes doe Moors, fel tlieir children for mo- 
 ny : but the end of thy tale, was better then the beginning, 
 which I was glad to heare : but tell me haft thou fuch ano- 
 ther? 
 
 Tid. Yes that I haue, and much of the fame nature : 
 In a country market towne, neare vnto this citty dwelt 
 a woman of great wealth, who being of the yeares of 
 fcarce vnderftanding, for fhee could hardly goe, with 
 out Leaning, a moft hollow eied, wrincled faced, drop- 
 ping nofed, toothleffe mouthed, flauering lipped, moft 
 ill countenanced, worfe complexioned, and worfe con- 
 ditioned, crooked, creeping and cripled old woman, fel 
 in loue with a moft gallant, neat, handfome, tall, ftraigt 
 and goodly gentleman, who for the only loue of that 
 fhe had, cafte himfelfe away, vpon this old Croane : 
 but, though he had a little troubled his confcience, 
 with a little ceremony, the matter far from his hart, fin- 
 ding her humour too much enclined, to the fpanifh 
 grape, and for want of naturall heat, to drincke much 
 of fpirits of wine, & hot waters : plied her fo with fuch 
 ■drinks, as droue her into fuch a heate, as put her into 
 
 fuch 
 
 24 
 
and Change. 21 
 
 fuch a feuer, as carried her quickly to her long home, 
 and left him poffeffor of all her wealth. 
 
 Ar. A good bargaine, but ill gotten, for fuck a kindnes, was 
 but a kinde of poyfon : but yet, if hee meante not her death, it 
 was no great matter for her Jicknes. 
 
 Tid. Oh no, I haue heard him proteft, not for all the 
 world, for had fhe liued fhe fhould haue lacked no che- 
 rifhing, but for lyeing with her, hee woulde not haue 
 come in bed with her, for hurting her : for fhee was fo 
 tender that fhee was ready to fal in peeces. 
 
 Ar. It zvas done like an houefl man, to haue fome pitty 
 on her that hadfo much lotted him : I lhanke him for it, euery 
 man would not beefo kinde: but on I praye you, hafle thou any 
 -more of thefe f 
 
 Tid. Not in this nature, but if it may not feeme te- 
 dious, I could tel you a merry tale, how I loft my felfe 
 at a wedding. 
 
 Ar. I praie thee doe. 
 
 Tid. It was my hap one daie to hear of a great Bridail, 
 or contry wedding, in a pretty village neer vnto a mar- 
 ket towne, which folemnity was kept, at the houfe of 
 one fir Slapfawce, a flouenly knight, that by an vnhap- 
 py chaunce came by a title more then hee was worthy 
 of: for hee had nothing in him of a knighte, more then 
 his title, excepte it were, that he wore fpurres and 
 a fworde : for hee was vfed to ride very often to the 
 faires, and to the Market, and they were both guilte 
 and dammafked. for feare of wearing out too foone. 
 A fatten Ierkin he wore, which was his greate grand- 
 fathers, & it was his pride to fpeak of it in honor of the 
 
 Anti- 
 
 -'5 
 
22 Choice, Chance, 
 
 Antiquitie, befide a brooch in his hat, which was the 
 Boffe of fome horfe bridle, that hauing beene fome 
 pawne to his anceftors, was left to him for a legafie: 
 which beeing fet in his hat, would make him fhake the 
 head with no fmall pride : but not to ftand too long vp- 
 on an idle defcription, 
 
 Let it fuffice that he was fat, both in belly and purfe: 
 dwelte in a faire houfe, and kept good victuals for his 
 friends, which were not many, nor often : but, at 
 feafts, hee would be lufty, brewe good beare, & down 
 with a bullock : and make no fpare as long as it woulde 
 laft : So now at this time betwixt Maifter Ienkin his el- 
 deft fonne, and miftris Parnel, his neighbours daughter, 
 whofe fathers purfe made a match with his land, there 
 I fay at his houfe at this bridal feaft, was a great mee- 
 ting of all the gallants of both genders in the country. 
 I omit to tel what charge he faued by the world, of Ca- 
 pons, Chickins, Geefe, Lambes, pigs, yea and fome 
 Bullocks, brought in by the tennants, with malt and 
 meale, befide Apples plummes and plumm cakes, that 
 there wated nothing that might be had, fo good cheap : 
 but all this is nothing to the purpofe of that I meane to 
 fpeak of, for during this time of feafting being in the 
 Summer time, ther wanted no variety of fports, as hun- 
 ting, hawking Muficke and dauncing, courting, and 
 kiffing, and what not, that was necessary : and yet for my 
 felf, being brought thither by a friend, I left my felfe 
 I know not how and not being out of a chamber was 
 as it were in a wood, fawe many waies and knewe not 
 which to take : for when I had taken a fuperficiall view 
 of them all olde and young, faire and foule : men and 
 
 woe- 
 
 26 
 
and Change. 23 
 
 woemen : I was in fuch a cafe, that I knew not which 
 waie to turne mee, for, firft touching the men, one hee 
 was fo fine at lading of his hand, as if he did wipe his 
 mouth at euery worde, an other would congey fo low 
 that his points had much adoe to holde, fo that thofe 
 were too full of compliments, for my conference, an 
 other hee was fo neate, fine, and all fo fine, that for fear 
 of tutching his ruffes, difplacing his fword pointe, or 
 fome fuch nice kinde of Anoyance, I durft not come 
 too neer him : An other, he was fo rude & fo buifie with 
 euery bodie, that I was loath to be troubled with him : 
 An other was fo eloquent, that I knew not how to talk 
 with him : An other was fo dull of vnderftanding, that 
 I had no edge to deale with him, Another fo bafhfull, 
 that I was loath to make him blufhe and another fo 
 fawcy, that I was glad to fhunne him, and other was fo 
 old that I fhould haue had a Chronicle, to anfwer him, 
 and another fo young, that it was pitty to trouble him : 
 thus among men I could fingle out no mate : and for 
 the woemen, if one had a good wit, then was her face 
 nothing anfwerable, fo that I could rather defire to 
 hear her, then fee her: and if another were faire, then 
 her wit was out of the waie, fo that I mighte rather 
 pleafe mine eie then trouble my tong with her, ano- 
 ther if fhee were rich, then was fhe fo olde that fhee 
 was out of date with mee : an other was fo younge, that 
 I was afraid to venter on her : So that, in fome, I knewe 
 not how to beftirre mee : either to ftand like a fpie, to 
 heer, and fee, and faie nothing, and to loofe time, in tal- 
 king to idlenes : but to tell you of the graces, and coun- 
 tenances of them all, as well men as woemen, it were 
 
 a 
 
24 Choice, Chance, 
 
 a prety left to thinke on : if I could remember them all 
 in the right : for the men, one would ftand fnuffing and 
 fpitting, as if he had been new come from Tabacco: An 
 another would fit making of his legs, as though hee were 
 kicking of a dull horfe : another would ftand with his 
 armes aftrut, like a Scarcrow in a peas-garden, another 
 wold fet out his foot to look vpon his new fhooftrings : 
 another would frown, as though he were too good for 
 the company, and another bite the lippe, as though he 
 had fom pain in his middle finger : one did look as if he 
 woulde whine for an ill looke of his Miftriffe, another 
 ftand like a Godfon that fhould be conning of his lef- 
 fon by heart, one like a foole that was afhamed of good 
 company, and another like a knaue that was a Setter 
 for fooles : fo that, afrayd to touch one, come neere an 
 other, trouble one, or bee troubled with another, I left' 
 my old Mafters to their ha now ha, and the Madcapps 
 to their heidegies, and for awhile rather flood to the 
 blame of ftlence, then would flie the fhame of folly : and 
 fo leauing euery one to his humor, fell to note the va- 
 riety of countenances, among the woemen : one would 
 fit mumping, as though teeth would haue much plea- 
 fured her; Another nod the head, as though (he hadd 
 bin nurtering of youth ; another lere on either fide, as a 
 Cat at a moufehole ; another fwell with pride, as if fhe 
 were Miftris of the Harueft cart, another make fo ma- 
 ny faces, that fhe had nere a good one among them ; 
 one would be ftretching of her bodies, as if her wafte 
 were too ftreight, another be putting off and on hir 
 gloues, to fhew the rings on her fingers, another ftand 
 and figh as if her heart would haue burft for loue. 
 
 Ar. 
 
and Change. 25 
 
 Ar. Yea marry, that was the wench I looked for all this 
 wh.le : did not her colotir come and go often, and did flie not 
 vfe little fpeech, and change the coppy of her countenance, and 
 fiddle much with her fingers, and vuag the fore part of her foot 
 and withdraw her felfe from m2ich company ? 
 
 Tid. She did all this and much more, as fomtime lay- 
 ing her hand on her heart, another while ftretching 
 her fingers to heare them cracke, as if euery ierke of a 
 ioynt were a hufband, and by and by look in her hand, 
 as though fhe had been tolde of her fortune vnder her 
 middle finger, and then a little fhake the head, as if it 
 wer not fully to her mind ; & this wech did I fall aboord 
 withall ; and for lack of better bufines, fell to court her 
 with a few good words. 
 
 Ar. As hoiv I pray thee ? 
 
 Tid. In this manner : fayr virgin, if it be no trouble to 
 your patience to put you out of your paffion, let me in- 
 treat you to remoue your melancholy, for it is not a- 
 greeable to your complexion : Sir, quoth fhe, it may bee 
 you haue made me blufh, to think what you would fay 
 to me, but if my mind be not in perfect ftate, I cannot 
 take you for a Phifician : yet for your good counfaile 
 I thanke you, and that is all the fee you muft looke 
 for. 
 
 Ar. The wench had fame wit, I perceiue by her anfwer. 
 
 Tid. Wit, yes at will, for this was but the firft blowe, 
 but fee what followed : Lady quoth I, your fee is 
 too greate, for fuch a fmall peece of Phificke ; but, 
 indeede if that I did but knowe the Nature of your dif- 
 eafe, I woulde ftudye for your cure, and deferue a fee 
 before I woulde take it : but the mynde of fickeneffe 
 
 E 1 is 
 
 29 
 
26 Choice, Chance, 
 
 is vpon fo many caufes, that the griefe is hard to geffe, 
 without fom light from the agrieued : but that known, 
 he is either vnlearned or vnlucky that can minifter no 
 comfort : you fay well quoth fhe, but what if it be known 
 to be cureles, what then is any counfaile without com- 
 fort ? 
 
 Ar. Perilous Ape, I feare it will proue an Vrchin. 
 
 Tid. Oh no, tis a prety creature, as you will confefle 
 when you heare more : but let me tell you my replie. It 
 may quoth I feem cureles, that may haue helpe, and 
 therefore good words may do good in the nature of a 
 good wil : words quoth fhe are good when they are wel 
 fpoken ; better when they are well meant, & good when 
 they are well taken, and better when they are well re- 
 turned : but for good will, it is a kind of riddle that fim- 
 ple wits vnderftad not : for fine wits can fo equiuocate, 
 that plain meaning is much abufed, where the mifbe- 
 liefe of good words makes the ouerthrovv of a good 
 mind. 
 
 Ar. Why how now man, was this a wenche f 
 
 Tid. It was a woman, at lead of woman kind, as fayr 
 a damfell as I thinke hues in the world : but, let me tell 
 you how I went about with my witts to meete a little 
 with her good will. Lady quoth I, good will grounded 
 vpon good caufe, may out of a good meaning bring 
 forth good words, which working good effect in a good 
 mind, may vpon a good confederation worke a good 
 conclufion ; Beauty is a good thing to the Eie, vertue to 
 the mind, thefe work a loue in defart, which is good in 
 reafon : Now loue in reafon hauing a great power in 
 nature, may make the riddle eafy to be red, wher know- 
 ledge 
 
 3° 
 
and Change. 27 
 
 ledge will not diffemble ignorance. 
 
 Ar. Well /aid wag, it was well put to\o\. 
 
 Tid. No fuch matter, my fortune was yet too far from 
 fuch a figure : for, let me tell you her anfvver, and then 
 giue your iudgment. 
 
 Ar. I pray thee do. 
 
 Tid. Why Sir quoth fhe I perceiue you go from one 
 Riddle to another ; knowledge to diffemble ignorance 
 is for wifedome to bee hid in folly, which is a ftrange 
 conftruftion for a weak capacity : if the caufe of good 
 will be mifconceiued, the good words may then be dif- 
 placed, and fo the matter miftaken, the time may be but 
 mifpent : Beauty is but a fhadow that hath no fubftace, 
 where reafon may be blinded with illufion, and vertue 
 is fo far from nature, that it is not feen but with the eye 
 of grace : and for Loue it is grown fuch a left, that it is 
 rather laughed at then beleeued in the world : therefore 
 where you find beauty, do not flatter it with vertue, till 
 you fee it : and for vertue doe not amiffe conceiue it, leaft 
 you wrong yourfelf in it, but where in deed you find it, 
 I can not blame you to loue it. 
 
 Ar. Oh vnhappy theefe, able to rob reafon of his vnderftan- 
 ding : but I hope thou wouldefl not leaue her fo. 
 
 Tid. I think not, for thus I fell vpon a replie : to blame 
 loue were a blot in kindnes, and to yeelde to reafon is a 
 bond in wit : to find folly in wifedom is the fearche of a 
 deep wit, and to wey words in their true worth, is the 
 proofe of good vnderftading : but to laugh at loue is no 
 proof of good wil : If therefore the vertue of your fpirit 
 in the beauty of your eies hath drawn my hart to loue, 
 will you not be as good as your word, not to blame me 
 F 2 for 
 
 31 
 
28 Choice, Chance, 
 
 for dooing well : for if reafon faile not my conceipte, 
 let me not moue patience in fpeaking truth, & let 
 not truth feeme flattery, where vertue hath but her 
 doe honoure : fo fhall the riddle be foone read, whofe 
 fubftance is but your felfe, and the paffion belt, cured 
 wher my humble feruice may be graced : Sir quoth fhe 
 I hope you wil pardon my weaknes, to entertain your 
 patience with idlenes : for to anfwere your Argumets, 
 would require a better Scholar, then my learning : you 
 may iudge amiffe and meane well, Complexions and 
 conditions may differ, and I maie beleeue, and be de- 
 ceiued, when wordes may want their weighte in good 
 will : Loue is a dangerous fpirit, and where hee is fna- 
 red by any fubtilty, doth much hurt, where he is ta- 
 ken : If I were fo well acquainted with him, as you 
 woulde feeme to bee, it maye be, I fhould employe 
 him as you woulde ; but to leaue ridling, in reafon let 
 me tell you this : as I woulde not bee vnthankfull to a 
 ftraunger : fo would I not bee ftraunge to my felfe, as I 
 can commend your wit, I muft haue care of my will, 
 & til I be able to be a fried, not to admit the entertain- 
 met of a feruat, & therefore, whe you know my difeafe, 
 hoping you wilbe my Phifitia, I will follow your coun- 
 fail, to be as merry as I maie, & hauing no better fee, 
 onely I thank you for your kindnes : Lady quoth I, I am 
 fory, Time admits me not, with your fauour, to deliuer 
 you further my minde, Let it fuffice you that I am 
 youres more then I can fay, thoughe I can faie no 
 more, then that I am yours : if occafion in your com- 
 mandement may make triall of my truft, I will attend 
 my defart in the hope of your regarde : and fo hoping, 
 that loue will bee without daunger, where words car- 
 ry 
 
 32 
 
and Change. 29 
 
 ry the true weight : if affe&ion may helpe a paffion, let 
 me intreat you to applye my faith to your fancy, and I 
 hope my phyfick will doe you good ; but fince, neither 
 time, nor place doth fitte our further confe- 
 rence, I praie you let me intreat you thus farre to ho- 
 nour my fortune, as to wear this ring for my fake : a lit- 
 tle hoope of gold, in which was ingraued Sic fides, fo 
 is faith, pure, and without end : which with a blufhinge 
 deniall, vpon fuch importunity, fhee tooke and gaue 
 me for a fauour to weare for her fake, a little Cupid of 
 Bugle finely wroght, and written ouer his eyes in black 
 letters: Ccecus fi£lus Amor; vpon the mutuall receipte 
 of thefe tokens, with fome little fhorte congey wee 
 parted, leauing her to her old paffion, that I knew not : 
 or to this newe paffion that I had mooued, but yet, 
 founde not, or to fmile at my folly, which I doubted 
 not : and fo fequeftring my felfe from the woemem to 
 chewe the cud of this kindneffe, I fell, or at left was fal- 
 len vpon, by a young gallant in fhewe, but indeed a 
 companion for a dogge, rather then for any better con- 
 dition : Yet to bleer the eies of fools he could plaie the 
 knaue with fetting on the face of an honeft man : this 
 youth in a bafket, with a face of Braffe, vpon a little ac- 
 quaintance (for a little would ferue his turne) comes to 
 me, with this falutation : by your leaue fir : It feemes 
 you are a ftraunger in thefe partes, but if you can a- 
 waie with our countrie fports, will you make one at 
 bowles for a rubber or two : we wil play no great game 
 (and yet would hee cheat for a fhilling :) No good fir 
 quoth I, I thank you, I am not acquainted with your 
 groud, & fhould but pul down a fide, & therfore I pray 
 you nowe pardon mee : will you then fir quoth hee 
 haue a refte at Primero, or a game or two at tables : 
 
 it 
 
 ii 
 
30 Choice, Chance, 
 
 it is the worft thing in the world to (land idle : true fir 
 quoth I, but it is as good be Idle, as ill exercifed, and to 
 tell truth, I am no gamfter : befides indeede vnder the 
 fhadowe of iefting ; I did not like he fhould ieft awaie 
 my mony : Indeed Sir, to faie the truth you do the bet- 
 ter, it is the worft fpent mony at plaie, that can bee : for 
 recreation, among good company, a little mony is not 
 ill ventered : but I pray you fir, what news abroad ? hear 
 you nothing from the Court ? nor from beyonde the 
 Seas? now I knowing his condition, and defirous to 
 bee ridde of his Company, told him, that I heard no 
 late newes from the court, but from beyonde the Seas 
 I heard fome letters read, in which I faw no matter of 
 Import ; but one I pray you fir quoth hee (Rowfing vp 
 his rafcall humour) in hope to hear of fome matter 
 for his purpofe : let me be holding to hear it, for we in 
 the Country Hue fo farre off from al good places, that 
 news com to vs like fifhes, neuer till it bee ftale : and 
 yet ther too, are we glad of it : why fir quoth I, thus 
 it is ; I read, that there was a notable knaue vnder the 
 fhadow of a fool, vfed to great mes howfes, wher with a 
 bold face railing vpon one to pleafe an other he would 
 abufe both : and euer chiefly following the beft cheere, 
 the deepeft purfes, and fhalloweft wits, thus fomtime 
 with a gull, and otherwhile with a white pigeon, one 
 while with a Gander, an other while with his 
 grey goofe, it fell out, that there was diuers mifchiefes 
 wrought by his villany : The Chambermaid, was poi- 
 foned in her fleep, wherevpon fhee fel into a timpany : 
 my young mafter loft much money at play, and tales 
 went betwixt friendes to fet neighbours together by 
 
 the 
 
and Change. 31 
 
 the Eares : with theefe and many other fuch Trickes, 
 this cuftomer with all his confederates beeing founde 
 one daie together, aboute fome wicked confultation, 
 were by a generall confent, taken fuddenly together, 
 whipte all out of the citty, and banifhed the Country, 
 vpon pain of death neuer to returne. Is it poffible quoth 
 he ? ftrange newes in deede, I thank you for it : wel Sir, 
 you will not walke abroad, I will leaue you for a while, 
 and come to you anon : but I heard no more of him for 
 that time. 
 
 Ar. It is no matter if you neuer hear more of him, nor a- 
 ny of his condition : for, if there be one honeft man of them, he 
 is out of the waie from al his companie, but I praie tliee. tell 
 me what became of the wench, didft thou fee her no more ne- 
 ther ? 
 
 Tid. Yes that I did, I faw her, I fpake with her, and with 
 much adoe obtained fauor at her hand : but if it might 
 not be tedious, I will tell you a little of the circum- 
 ftance that paffed betwixt vs, ere we came to the chief 
 pointe. 
 
 Ar. Which pointe was that ? the bufke pointe, or the gaf- 
 kin pointe ? 
 
 Tid. Tufli a pinne for thofe points, our thoughtes 
 were carried in a higher courfe of contentment : I will 
 tell you fhee was faire, which made me not foolifh, 
 fhe was kinde, which made not me careles, fhee was 
 wife, which made not me wilfull, and fhee was vertu- 
 ous, which made not me vnhappy : but, while I thus 
 commend her, I faie nothing of our conference, which 
 was as I will tell you : The next daie beeing fair, & ma- 
 ny Ladies, and gentlewomen willing to take the aire, 
 
 hand 
 
 35 
 
32 Choice, Chance, 
 
 hand in hand, euery one fingling out his miftreffe, lea- 
 ding them along vpon a fayr green, conuerfing as they 
 thought conuenient ; my felfe not willing to bee lefte 
 alone* and moft willing to haue fo good a friende, 
 tooke out my Miftriffe by entreaty, to take a little pati- 
 ence with my trouble ; with whome, hauing trod a step 
 or two, I fell aboord with in this manner. Sweet miftris, 
 though idle heads make a fiction of Cupid, yet better 
 Iudging heartes know, that Loue can neuer be blin- 
 ded : for the eies of Loue looking into the hearte of 
 vertue, fweare the feruice of Reafon, to the honour of 
 Beautye ; Seruante quoth fhee (fince you will needes 
 haue it fo) Let mee tell you yet, that there is no golde 
 pure vntill it bee refined, nor any ringe but it hath two 
 endes, till they bee both ioyned in one : fo faith is not 
 knowne, till it be prooued, nor endleffe, but in the knot 
 of Loue : But, as it is a great Arte to refine golde, and 
 no leffe cunning to cafte it into a Ring ; fo is it a greate 
 proofe of Witte, to find out the pureneffe of faith, and 
 no leffe happineffe to make vfe of it in Loue : but, as 
 good mindes will euer conftrue good things vnto the 
 beft, fo for to doubte the worfe, is not amiffe in the beft 
 meaning : Lady quoth I, a caufeleffe fufpition breedes a 
 needeleffe iealoufie, and where all good is intended, 
 why fhould any be mifconftrued : the refining of gold 
 is in the fire, and the fitting of the Ring in the hande; 
 fo, is the trying of faith in the care of affeftion, but the 
 knitting of Loue, is in the content of the heart. Where 
 if feare bee a hinderaunce vnto happineffe, reafon muft 
 want a part of his perfection : In deede quoth fhe, hope 
 
 36 
 
and Change. 33 
 
 is a prety humour, but it is not alwayes followed with 
 felicity : but for that I would neither hide the Sunne in 
 a cloude, nor make day light of Moonefhine, I will 
 leaue you to your owne difcretion to confider, what is beft 
 to bee conceiued : and for that, all eyes are not in one 
 head, nor all thoughtes in one heart, let mee intreate 
 you to bee wife for your felfe, and I fhall bee the glad- 
 der of your well dooing : Lady quoth I, I fhall do well 
 in nothing, but your gladneffe, neyther fhall I bee glad 
 of anything, but in that you fhall well allowe of: for, 
 to be wife in your will, fhall ftand the happineffe of my 
 witt, and to paffe the courfe of your contentment, fhall 
 bee the imperfection of my difcretion : and therefore 
 let eies looke how they lifte, and heartes thinke what 
 they lift, to your vertue I auowe my loue, and in your 
 Loue be the ioy of my life. Seruant quoth fhee, I com- 
 maund you then whatfoeuer you fee to haue patience, 
 and whatfoeuer you heare to haue filence, vntill the 
 next time that wee meete againe, when you fhal heare 
 that fhal not greeue you, though not enioy that may 
 content you : and fo let vs away, for our company is go- 
 ing in, and I haue fpoiled a Goofe that I muft plucke a 
 feather with : with thefe good wordes and fuch like, wee 
 went fomething faft, vntill we ouertooke our company 
 that were going before vs, and in we went into the par- 
 lor, where beeing all fet, fome fell to cardes, fome to 
 Tables, fome to playing vppon Inftrumnnts of Mu- 
 fique, and fome to finging, I placing my felfe fome- 
 what neere vnto my newe Miftriffe, tooke a booke 
 in myne hand, and fell to reading of it, which beeing 
 
 F of 
 
 37 
 
34 Choice, Chance, 
 
 of the fpoile of Troy, fcarce had I read three lines of 
 the firft leafe, but a ftraunge humorde braine, that 
 had but a little wit in his head, falles in hand with my 
 fair miftris : but if I fhould tell you howe fhee handled 
 him, it were a tale almoft worth the telling. 
 
 Ar. I pray thee doe, for ten to one, if hee were a cappe, Jhe 
 would fit him with a coks combe : 
 
 Tid. And fo fhee did, and a bell and a bable to it, or 
 els I am deceiued : for let me tell you, firft for his pro- 
 portion, he was fquared out of a timber logge, which 
 was crooked at both ends, and little better in the 
 midft, his face bigge enough, and wanted no nofe, and 
 for his lippes they futed his flauer well, his haire of 
 the color of a roane horfe, and as hard as the ftumpe 
 of a Rubbing brufh : and for a beard it was fo thick, 
 that it harboured a great traine of his retinue, his bo- 
 dy much after the Barrell, and his legges with the 
 wrong ende vpwardes, yet had this fellow a paire of 
 bootes on, and fpurres, that were too long for his 
 heeles : now for his apparrel, had hee been a trauailer, 
 I mould haue taken him for fome ftraunge foole, but 
 beeing, as I after heard, a neighbours childe, I found 
 he was a notable gull : Nowe this foole falls to cour- 
 ting of my Miftris, and thus hee conies to her : Mift- 
 ris are you heere ? I thinke I haue fitted you 
 nowe ; am I not in your colours : why quoth fhee, 
 you haue fo many, that I cannot tell which is mine : 
 if I were a greate Lady, folks would take you for my 
 foole : but I fee your trickes well enough ; becaufe you 
 haue fo many miftreffes you would haue coloures for 
 them all ; why, let me fee, you haue Afhe coloure for 
 
 one 
 
 33 
 
and Change. 35 
 
 one, Oh, that is for her that hath the greene fickneffe : 
 and yealow for another, that is for her, that hath the 
 yealow launders, you know who I meane ; that was 
 fick for loue of you : and white for an other, that 
 was lately recouered of an Ague, or a worfe matter, 
 you know the caufe of her fickneffe : and blewe for an 
 other, becaufe fhe is in a conluption through your vn- 
 kindnes : and tawny for an other, you knowe who that 
 was, that painted her felfe, and her coloure was not 
 right : and Carnation for another, who you knowe, is 
 daintilie painted : but for whom is your crimfon ? tru- 
 ly for you miftris : I thought fo in earneft, quoth fhee ; 
 for I cannot chufe but blufh when I fee you, and fo 
 you wear crimfon, for my colour : well then I perceiue 
 I am among your miftreffes : but I pray you henceforth 
 leaue me out, for he that is my feruante iliall weare no 
 other liuery but mine : who ? I miftris quoth hee : no, 
 though I am not fo rich as I would be, I weare no liue- 
 ries, I can tell you : No, yes faid fhee, I hard you faie 
 not long fince, that one of your miftreffes had put the 
 foole vpon you, but you would (hake off her livery : why 
 fo I haue quoth the good goofe, I haue both make off 
 her and her liuery : but in truth miftris, but that I haue 
 loued you wel, I could not beare thefe floutes at your 
 hand : for I hope I am not beholding to you : but tis 
 no matter, they fay with brawling and fquabling beg- 
 gars comme ftill together and fo maie wee 
 if you will : why quoth fhee, fo wee are already me- 
 thinkes, are wee not mette heere together: But 
 harken vnto mee feruante, it feemes by youre 
 
 F 2 gloue 
 
36 Choice, Chance, 
 
 gloue, you now haue been a hawking, what ? haue you 
 flufhed a woodcock ? I heare there was one Iufte in 
 your waie, the laft time I faw you : indeede quoth hee 
 it is true, and a vengeance on it, For my Taffel made 
 after it, and went fo farre, that I had like to haue lofte 
 him : But you are fo full of quibibbles, that I feare 
 you meane knauery: But it is no matter when you 
 haue done your wil, make an end : Oh feruante quoth 
 fhee, you forget your felfe, will you nowe bee an- 
 gry with your miftreffe ? but tell mee I praie you, doe 
 you not fometime vfe to hawke at the Iaie and the 
 woodpicker? Yes quoth hee that I doe, yea but quoth 
 fhee not in thofe cloathes : why miftriffe : I pray you 
 quoth hee, doe you thinke I am affraid of my cloathes? 
 No I am able to buy newe when thefe are donne, 
 I woulde you fhoulde well know it : I knowe it well 
 Seruante quoth fhee, but I meane an other matter 
 that the Hawke miftaking her game fhould (feeing 
 your colours) Seife vpon your felfe infteede of a 
 woodcock, a woodpicker I woulde haue faid« : well 
 faide miftris, quoth hee, there is another blowe, but 
 I will beare it as well as 1 may : but it is no matter 
 I will thinke of it as I haue reafon ; yea Seruaunte 
 -quoth fhee, will you take my pepper in your nofe, and 
 fnuffe at a little mirth ? Nay then I perceiue your pro- 
 uerb will not holde, wee fhall neuer come neerer 
 together then wee are : yes faith good Miftris quoth 
 he, that I will come a little neerer you, when Re- 
 moouing his ftoole hee fits clofe by her, and offers to 
 
 take 
 
 40 
 
and Change. 37 
 
 take her by the hande, when fhe defired him to forbear 
 her, for his hands did fo fweate that fhee could not 
 indure them : fpeake quoth fhee your minde, and I 
 will heare you, but if you will not hold your fingers, 
 I will leaue you : well then miftriffe quoth hee, let mee 
 tell you, you knowe I loue you : if it bee true quoth 
 fhee, I am forry for it, for I loue not you, I like [not] you, 
 I delighte not in you : but I am fure quoth 
 he, you doe not hate me : bee you affured quoth fhee, 
 I will not hate my felfe : I hope quoth hee you will not 
 make a foole of me ;■ I praye you quoth fhee, doe not 
 make a foole of your felfe : With this the gentleman 
 began to grow Angrie : when vpon the fodaine, a 
 gentlewoman of the companie, full of witty conceits 
 came to my miftriffe with thefe wordes : come cofen, 
 you and your feruante neuer meete, but there is 
 fome warres ere you part : but come on, let vs leaue 
 this fiddle faddle, and nowe fall to fome prettie fport, 
 or other : contente quoth fhee withall my heart ; when 
 making of a little rounde fate ther downe vnder a 
 greate baye windowe in the parlor fome fiue 
 coople of vs, and no fewe madde laddes, and wen- 
 ches at our backes, to heare and note our paftimes : 
 which was as I will tell you, neither purpofes, tales, 
 nor Rideles, but a merry ieft, that I neuer hearde of 
 before, called Decorums and Abfurdums: euerie 
 one mufte fhewe his witte, till either the braines 
 were wearie, or the dinner were readie : and thus 
 they beganne. The fharpe witted wenche, whome 
 I often fpake of before, was the firfte, who 
 
 thus 
 
 / 4i 
 
38 Choice, Chance, 
 
 thus fell to her bufineffe : To fpeake good words to a 
 good vnderftanding, is a decorum in iudgement : to which 
 the next replied : To fpeake wifely to a foole is an abfur- 
 dum in Reafon : then followed another with this fpeech ; 
 To anfwer loue with kindnes is a decorum in Nature : to 
 which the next replied, To beftow loue vnworthily is 
 an abfurdum in wit : then followes another, To hope on 
 defart, is a decorum in reafon : to whome the next reply- 
 ed, To be afraide of fortune is an abfurdum in iudge- 
 ment : then came it to my Miftris, who thus deliuered 
 her opinion, To honour wifedom is a decorum in Loue : 
 and then it came to me, who thus made my reply, and 
 not to loue vertue, were an abfurdum in humanity : then 
 comes it to our foole, who thus brought out the trea- 
 fure of his cafket, To gather wealth is a decorum in 
 thrift : to which was fodenly replied, To dig in a dung- 
 hill is an abfurdum in honor : then comes it about again 
 to the firft, who thus began againe. To keepe promife in 
 kindneffe is a decorum in loue : to which was replied, To 
 performe an ill vow, is an abfurdum in Grace : then fol- 
 lowed the next in this manner, To play the foole wife- 
 ly is a decorum in conceit, to which was replied : To play 
 the wag vnkindly is an abfurdum in good manner : then 
 comes it againe to my Miftriffe, who thus deliuered 
 her mind, To be conftant in loue is a decorum in honor: 
 to which I replied, to be falfe to honour is an abfurdum 
 in Loue : then comes it to the gull, who thus fell to 
 plaine Englifh. To be kind to her feruant were a deco- 
 rum in my Miftreffe : to which a mad wenche replyed, A 
 feruant to be too faucy with his Miftris, were an abfur- 
 dum in duty : Now as it was comming about againe, 
 
 comes 
 
 42 
 
and Change. 39 
 
 comes in the feruice for dinner, whereupon we brake 
 off our talke for that time : but after we had dined, and 
 paffed away a little time with idle prattle, wee gat our 
 felues togither againe, all fauing the Affe, who for feare 
 of more coales then he could carry, gat himfelfe out of 
 doors, where wee neuer looked after him, but fell to a 
 new fport, to anfwer many words in one : one muft pro- 
 pound, and an other anfwer. 
 
 Ar. As how ? I pray thee tell me. 
 
 Tid. You fhall heare: the firft began thus: If a man 
 labour all the daies of his life, and get nothing till his 
 death, what lhal he be thought ? 
 
 Awn. Vnhappy. 
 
 Pro. If a woman bee kind but vnconftant, what fhall 
 fhe be accounted ? 
 
 Awn. Vnwife. 
 
 Pro. If a man deferue well of his Miftriffe, and fhe re- 
 quite him ill, what fhal fhe be thought ? 
 
 Awn. Vnkind. 
 
 Pro. If a virgin be faithfull to her Louer, and he proue a 
 Traitor to her truft, what fhall he be called ? 
 
 Awn. Vngratious. 
 
 Pro. What is the faireft thing in the world ? Aw. Trueth. 
 
 Pro. What is the fweeteft thought in the mind ? A. Loue 
 
 Pro. What is the moft fure in the world ? Awn. Death. 
 
 Pro. What is the greateft offence in the world ? A. Treafo. 
 
 Pro. What is the nobleft thing in the world ? Aw. Valor. 
 
 Pro. What is moft dangerous ? Awn. Truft. 
 
 Pro. What is moft fearful ? Aw. Warre. 
 
 Pro. What is moft ioyful ? Aw. Peace. 
 
 Pro. What is moft rare ? Aw. Honefty. 
 
 Pro. 
 
 43 
 
40 Choice, Chance, 
 
 Pro. What moft common ? Aw. Beggeryv 
 
 Pro. What moft fubtill ? Aw. Wit. 
 
 Pro. What moft kind? Aw. Will, if it be pleafed: oh you 
 are out, quoth all the company, for talking of pleafing: 
 and fo with a pleafing laughter the company brake off, 
 and euery one with his Miftris, fell to walking abroad, 
 when my Miftris making one, I had no reafon to ftaye 
 behind ; and therefore to be fhort, angling our felues 
 from the company, I fell thus into difcourfe with hir : 
 Miftris, is there anything more pretious in the mind 
 then the Loue of the heart ? I befeech you anfwer me in 
 a word : No quoth fhe I thinke not ; But quoth I, would 
 you loue that heart, where you found that fpirit? yea, I 
 think I fhould : but would you beleeue that tongue that 
 did fpeak from fuch a heart ? yes, I think I fhould quoth 
 fhe, and will you efteem of that loue, that fuch a tongue 
 fpeaks, out of fuch a heart ? yes, I haue reafon for it ; then 
 good Miftris, let your eies in my heart, fee the trueth of 
 that loue that cannot liue, but in your grace : well Ser- 
 uant quoth fhe, I fee you would fpeak well if you could 
 hit on it : oh Miftriffe, quoth I, I had rather hit wel then 
 fpeake of it : wel quoth fhe, I perceiue you haue learned 
 to turne the point vpon a quarrell : oh but quoth I, I had 
 rather ioyne hands vpon a friendfhip : but when ioyning 
 of hands may caufe the breaking of hearts, the conceit 
 quoth fhe is ill caried : yea but quoth I, when the want 
 of hands breeds the woe of hearts, content is much hin- 
 dered : oh, but patience (quoth fhe) is an excellent trial 
 of trueth : yea but quoth I, delay is the death of delight : 
 yea but quoth fhe, loue is euer conftant, fo long quoth I 
 as kindnes is comfortable : oh feruant quoth fhee, loue 
 
 fees 
 
 44 
 
and Change. 41 
 
 fees in abfence, nothing qd. I but forow : oh fir, who wil 
 not watch his hauk fhall neuer reclaim her : but quoth I 
 if fhe be flying fhe is better on the fift then on the mew : 
 wel, he that wil not pluck for a card, is not worthie of a 
 prime, but qd. I : he that can be flufh, may better carrie 
 the reft : wel feruant, I will confider of your difcretion, & 
 where honor may be kind, reafon will not be vngrateful : 
 you are a ftranger in this coutry, & yet I heare well of 
 your eftate, but giue me leaue to be my felfe, & as I find 
 you wife, continu my good opinio, which being more 
 then I will fpeake of, I wil leaue to you to thinke : and fo 
 once more let me intreat your filent patience to put off 
 one futor more : who fpeaks fo by rule that I can hardly 
 anfwer him by roat : Miftris, let the cariage of my difcre- 
 tion fo continue your good opinio, that the hope of my 
 fortune be in the honor of your fauor, in which let me 
 be whollie yours, or els not be mine own : with this we 
 brake off our talk for that time, & going in, my Miftris 
 was faluted by a fprufe copanion that lookt like a let- 
 ter in print : who with a fmoothe Anus coutenace, as if 
 he had bin a prologue to a play, with a wink & fimper 
 thus begins. Fair Lady, manie fair dayes to the looks of 
 your fair eies, & fir, as manie quiet nights to your trou- 
 bled brains, to bring your wits in teper. I read qd. he, in 
 the rule of affeftion, beauty is loues obie£t, loue beau- 
 ties fubie<Et : but qd. fhe where fimplicity vnderftads not 
 the proie6t, the fubtilty may be an abieft. qd. he where 
 reafon caries affection it fauours difcretion : but qd. fhe 
 wher wit wats iudgmet, wil goes to repetace for vnder- 
 ftading : I but qd. he wher wits wilful reafo wats in iudg- 
 met: & qd. fhe, reafon without difcrefion leads wit out 
 
 G. 1 of courfe : 
 
 -is 
 
42 Choice, Chance, 
 
 courfe : why Miflriffe quoth he, can reafon be without 
 difcretion ? I haue heard fo quoth fhe, of a fcholer in 
 Philofophy, where in fearching, the fecretes of Nature 
 may be the ouerthrow of reafon, which only proceeds 
 from want of difcretion : oh but Miftriffe, extreamities 
 exceed the rule of reafon, and therefore he is a fimple 
 Scholar, that will loofe himfelfe in finding nothing : 
 and yet quoth fhe, he that feeks too far may loofe him- 
 felfe ere he be aware : yea but quoth fhe, he that gaines 
 more then himfelfe, in loofing but himfelfe, may thinke 
 well of his profit, whateuer be his paines : yea but quoth 
 fhe, if defire be fed with vain hope, when the gayne is 
 but loffe, what is the iffue of fuch a profite ? Sorrowe 
 quoth he to Reafon, but patience to difcretion : alas 
 quoth fhe, all but one fence fet down in two words, where 
 the griefe of patience is the forrow of reafon : why but 
 Miftriffe quoth he, what is the helpe ? I know not quoth 
 fhe better then this, I thinke you were better keepe fil- 
 uer in your purfe, then fpend it in making of golde. In- 
 deede quoth he you fay wel : there be fo many All-mif- 
 fers, that Alcumiftry is out of credite, and yet it is fo 
 pleafing a ftudie, as fets many good wits to worke ; yea, 
 but then quoth fhe, if wife men wil be madde, who can 
 helpe their difeafe ? indeed you fay true, and I think that 
 Loue and Alcumiftrie are alike, for when reafon affec- 
 teth beauty, and wit honoureth vertue, yet fhall fortune 
 giue a blow, that fhall breake the necke of both theyr 
 trauailers. He then quoth fhe that is wife will fhunn it, 
 and a coward naturallye will feare it : but I hope you 
 haue wit enough to auoide it : well Miftriffe quoth he, 
 though I feare not the worft, yet fince I cannot hope 
 
 the 
 
 46 
 
and Change. 43 
 
 the beft, you fliall fee I will not grow mad in the ftudie 
 of feminine Philofophie : hovvfoeuer I follow the maf- 
 culine rules of reafon. You do well, quoth fhee, for if in 
 the ftudy of the feminine Philofophy, the rules of reafo 
 miftake make the mafculine wit proue folly, it wil proue 
 a very pittifull peece of learning : but fince you are com 
 to your Grammer rules, and I an ill Sholer in an Acci- 
 dens, I pray you pardon my fimplicitie if my partes of 
 fpeech be imperfect : with that the quick witted wench 
 that flood by, and gaue audience to their eloquence, as 
 the Scholer was about to frame his anfwere, brake it off 
 with thefe words ; come on Cofen, let vs go to cards, & 
 leaue your Pro & Contra : Mafter Scholer, you muft haue 
 a wife from fchoole, if you will win her by learning : In- 
 deed forfooth quoth he, Panpudding is a good difh for 
 a groffe ftomack : O fir quoth fhe, I hope it wil doe well 
 for a fcholers commos : how now Cofen quoth my Mi- 
 ftris, you are euer croffing my friendes, in trueth I loue 
 learning with my heart, though not to reade in a booke, 
 that I like not : truly Miftris quoth hee, I woulde I had a 
 book to your liking : in deed quoth fhe fo would not I, 
 for I had rather be beholding to you for nothing, then 
 be indebted for a trifle : but quoth fhe if you pleas let vs 
 go to fom other fports, for it maie be, we haue wearied 
 fom of the companie with too much idle talke : I hope 
 not, but what fhal pleafe you and them, I fhal bee con- 
 tented with ; and if I may be admitted, I will be readie to 
 make one : com on quoth miftris Madcap, let us goe to 
 griefes and ioies, let vs fit round ; which foon agreed vp- 
 on, we fate round, and thus fell to our bufineffe. Firft 
 began my quick wit with thefe words, what a griefe it 
 G 2 is, 
 
 47 
 
44 Choice, Chance, 
 
 is, for a good witte to Wtjnt mony? the next followed, 
 what a ioy is it to be content with a little : then 
 the next : what a grief it is, to be wronged and cannot 
 helpe it : the fourth : what a ioye it is to fee the ruine of 
 oppreflio ? another,^ what grief doth grow by the death 
 of a frind ; and another, what ioy doth come by the death of 
 an Enemy ? then comes it to the Scholer, what grief 
 doth grow by the pride of beauty ? then to my miftris, 
 what ioie doth grow in the preuenting of folly : then to 
 me, what grief to reafon ? not to deferue grace : then a- 
 gaine to Madcap, and what ioy hath loue in the fecret 
 of fauour ? then another : what grief to vnkindnes : the 
 the next, what ioy to cofort : what grief to ingratitude ? 
 what ioie to kindnes : what grief to falfhood ? what ioy 
 to faith ? Oh quoth Madcappe, then bring in health & 
 ficknes, & I know not what : turn we wil giue ouer this 
 and to fome other fports, but look fupper is coming in, 
 and therefore we muft giue ouer: fo for that time we 
 brake off, but what followed after I will tell you. 
 
 A. I pray tliee do, & hartily thank thee for this I hane hard. 
 
 Tid. After fupper we had fome table talk, of diuers 
 idle thinges ; amonge other, there was fome fpeech 
 of the nature of defpi~hts : whereof one was this : what 
 a fpight it is, for a faire fwcet wench, to marry a filthy 
 ouglye fellowe : another was, what a fpight it was to fee 
 a horfe of feruice drawe in a doung-carte : an other a 
 Hawke to be killed by an owle : another a milk-cowe 
 to be ftung by a hedgehog : an other to [fee a hound 
 coupled with a maftiffe : another to fee a nightingale 
 killed by a cat : another what a fpight it is to fee good 
 meate, and haue no ftomake, and another, to haue a 
 
 ftomack 
 
 4 y 
 
and Change. 45 
 
 ftomack and want meate, and an other, to want teeth, 
 and for a woman to want her tonge : at laft, one mer- 
 ry fellowe comes out with his ierke : what a fpight 
 it is for a poore man to be made cuckoulde, by a filthy 
 fellow? yea quoth Madcap, but it is a great comfort 
 to a thief, to fee his fellows hang with him for com- 
 pany : indeed, quoth another to Hue alone is too much 
 folitarynes, yea quoth an other, and fometime a foole 
 mars a play : tis true quoth Madcappe, it is a fpighte 
 a gald lade fhold come among good horfes : with that 
 the Knight, the mafter of the houfe rifeth, and calls a 
 hall hoh, Gentlewoemen, and my good frinds, what 
 fhal the minftrels ftand Idle ? and fo forgetting the 
 name of mufitians, bid call in the fidlers, and my maift- 
 ers, euery one to his wench ; oh when I was a young ma 
 I could haue beene nimble at this geare : Sonne take 
 your Bride and call in your frinds, and aboute the 
 houfe, beftirre your flumps a little, come on : when 
 The wags and the wenches, with the groome and 
 his bride, fell to take hands, and fcarce had begun a 
 fteppe or two in foure fquare, I would haue faid a qua- 
 drant pauen, but in comes a pofte for puddings, a mef- 
 fenger from a mafke, that deliuered fuch a fpeech of the 
 aduenters of an affe vpon the but of a rams horn, & the 
 dangerous paffage ouer a puddle of water, that but for 
 the honor of that knight, & trouble of his houfe, they 
 wold not vndertake for a bufhel of wheate, with a deal 
 of train, as was not worth remembrance : fomewhat ab- 
 furdly ere the tale was told, with a dm & bag pipe came 
 fuch a morice dauce, a mafke I would fay ther ; but they 
 made fools merry, and themfelues fporte: I could fay 
 
 little 
 
 4y 
 
46 Choice, Chance, 
 
 little in their Commendation, but that for their coft 
 and their cariage, bred and cheefe, and a cup of ale, 
 had ben a fufficient banquet for fuch a company: who 
 hauing daunced, which they did very ill fauouredly, fel 
 to dicing, being both Mafkers and mummers, 
 when after the rate of nine {hillings among eighteene 
 of them, they fell to plaie, and hauing gotten fome 
 ten groates, ftruck vp the drumm with no little mirth : 
 for, though they cared not for their mony, yet theire 
 gaines would pay for their vizards : and for theire clo- 
 thes, they were but borrowed of their neighboures : 
 but thus, after they had mafked and mummed, away 
 they went, and lefte it by this time, about the hower 
 of fleepe, when euery one taking leaue of the other, my 
 miftris gaue me a kinde good night, which made mee 
 fleepe neuer the worfe. 
 
 Ar. / beleeue thee, but 1 pray thee, tell mee what followed 
 the next morning. 
 
 T. I wil tel you ; after fome kind of vifio fancy or dream 
 I know not whether, troubled with I know not what, 
 remembring a leffon that a Lady of worth once gaue 
 mee, that I fhoulde not obferue dreames, for that they 
 are but illufions, forbidden in the worde of the moft 
 wife, I did what I could, to put them out of my mind, 
 and getting vp fomething early, went abroad into the 
 garden, wifhing rather in the daie to behold the liuing 
 Subftaunce of my loue, then in the night to be illu- 
 ded, with the fhadow of my delight, where after a di- 
 uine exercife, in the humble cotemplation of my fpi- 
 rit, I met (with wide heauen) the ioye of my heart, 
 in a worde my miftris, who whether, according to the 
 
 cuf- 
 
 5° 
 
and Change. 47 
 
 cuftome of her good houfwifery, in rifing early, or 
 whether (he vfed the prime of the morning for the 
 time of her deuotion, or that fhe chofe that time for 
 the preferuation of her health, I know not, but there I 
 met her at the corner of a walke with her waiting gen- 
 tlewoman, who knowing her duty, and loath to dif- 
 pleafe, fell a little behinde her : nowe my Miftriffe 
 had a booke in her hand, which fhutting vppe with a 
 modeft fmile, fhee did thus falute mee. Seruante good 
 morrow, what abroade fo earlie ? I had thought no bo- 
 die had been fo earlie a ftirrer as my felfe : but I fee I 
 am deceiued : miftris, quoth I, fhall the feruant bee in 
 bed after his Mis ? that wer to much fluggardife : but for 
 your good morrow, many thoufand requite you ; A 
 fayre morning, a faire garden, and a faire Lady, fair be- 
 fall thefe fair meetings : why how now feruant, quoth 
 fhe, A faire minde, faire thoughts, and faire wordes ; 
 you fhould doe well to goe to the faire with fuch faire 
 wakes. So I doe miftris quoth he, you are the faire that 
 haue bought me and mine : yea Seruant, haue I all ? 
 what then haue you leaft for your felf ? enough quoth 
 I, Grace and duty, the one to ferue, and the other to 
 pleafe : and what quoth fhee ? miftris quoth I, in loue 
 and honour : and how quoth fhee ? in obedience & pa- 
 tience : As how quoth fhee ? I anfwered, to doe your 
 will, and attend your will : is it poflible feruant, quoth 
 fhee, that I haue fuch a power ouer you ? why miftris 
 quoth I, is it fo ftrange, that you fhoulde haue power 
 ouer your owne ? Alas quoth fhe, I pitty thy fortune in 
 thy affedting of vnworthines : and quoth I, I ioie in my 
 happines to haue fauour in fo much honour : oh but 
 
 my 
 
48 Choice, Chance, 
 
 my good feruant, if your eftate want meane to anfwer 
 the nobleneffe of your mind, a greeuous ioy wil make 
 a miferable paflion : yea but Miftreffe, if the content of 
 the minde bee a kingdome in conceite, patience that 
 knowes no pride, makes loue the happineffe of life : but 
 how is reafon fatiffied, where neceffitie is not fupplied ? 
 patience in hope finds the comfort of grace : but where 
 time is grieuous, how is loue comfortable ? why though 
 the winter be cold is not the fpring pleafing ? yes : but 
 a thin harueft makes a poor farmer : oh Miftris, liues 
 not the Shepheard fomtime merier then the Mafter of 
 the fheepe : and the wench with the milkpaile, then the 
 lady of much riches ? Indeed qd fhe I haue heard much 
 of the fhepheardes & their loues, but whether they be 
 fictions or figures I know not ; but giue me leaue, fhall 
 I leaue Lady for Miftris, wealth for want, a court for a 
 cottage, & command for obedience, & all for the hope 
 of loue ? no Miftris, loue makes a cottage a court, where 
 content is a kingdom, and what greater wealth then in 
 the riches of the mind ? for obedience in kindneffe it is 
 the worke of Loue, and to be a worthy miftris, is better 
 then an vnworthy Lady : and therefore let hope bee an 
 affurace in the perfwafion of loue : but who is the wor- 
 thy Miftris ? fhe that hath power ouer her felfe : and who 
 the moil worthy feruant ? he whom fuch a Miftris hath 
 entertained : good feruant hurt not thy felf, in doing me 
 good ; good Miftris doe mee good in not wifhing my 
 hurt : If I fhould loue, & not Hue with you, where is the 
 contet of your conceit. If I can liue without your loue, 
 let no conceit content me : If I fhold fauor you & ouer- 
 throw my fortune, what fhal be the reward of my folly ? 
 
 If 
 
 52 
 
and Change. 49 
 
 If your vertue grace my loue, howe much fhould my 
 feruice honour you ? If the world frown on mee, who 
 wil helpe me ? If the Heaues bleffe you, who can hurt 
 you ? nowe fie vpon thee feruant, I knowe not what to 
 fay to thee : and for that there are company comming, 
 let this in brief fufnce thee : fo farre as I maie, I doe af- 
 fect thee, in honor I wil grace thee, haue patience for a 
 time, & it fhall be happy for thee : for though my eftate 
 be not much, yet it is in mine owne difpofing, and my 
 parents in the Earth, I am at the heauens direction, for 
 my refolution : and therefore, feare not the fruit of thy 
 faith in the hope of my fauoure, for, I am thine, but 
 I pray thee giue me a little leaue, to fhake off one fu- 
 ter more : walke by and heare vs, and when he is gon, 
 let him goe for euer. Miftris quoth I, your commaund 
 is a lawe, take your pleafure in any thinge, make mee 
 onely happy in beeing what you will I fhall bee ; and 
 with this woorde, taking of her a fober fmiling leaue, I 
 ftept a little afide, and feeing company comming, left 
 her to entertaine a young gallant, who a little ftep- 
 ping forwardes from his company, faluted my mift- 
 ris in this manner. Faire Ladie what al a Nimphale ? 
 Bleffed be thofe Siluane creatures that can enioy the 
 prefence of fuch a goddeffe. Peace quoth fhe, I wil run 
 away rather then make you an idolater, fpeake not fo 
 prophanely, there is no goddeffe on earth : and for your 
 Nymphes, they are but poets fiftions : pardon mee 
 Lady quoth hee, if I fpeak vnprobably and Let mee fay 
 what I think : how much is this fweet ground fweetned 
 by fo fweet a creature ? nothing at all quoth fhee, it is 
 
 H 1 your 
 
 53 
 
50 Choice, Chance, 
 
 your fweet gloues, whofe perfume puts downe all the 
 fent of the flowers : Oh how much quoth he, doth your 
 Beautie giue a luftre to the faireft flower, when in 
 the Rofes of your cheeks maid Flora blufhes to fee the 
 pure crimfon of her beft colour ; O fir quoth fhe, you 
 meane the rofes of your fhooeftrings ; indeede they 
 are of a good Ribbin, and well died I thinke they are 
 in graine : and fo is all aboute you, cloath and fiike, I 
 fee you euer haue the beft ; I would be loath quoth he 
 to weare the worft, but Ladie. 
 
 Ar. Tujh, I praie thee let him goe zvith his foolery ; I fee it 
 was fome noddy, that T doubte not was quickly Jhaken off. 
 Let me heere what followed betwixt you, and your faire mif- 
 tris. 
 
 Tid. I will ; this gallant with a fev/e flouts pretily put 
 off: After the company had walked aboute the garden, 
 wee were called in to breakefaft, where a bride-cake 
 and a meffe of cream, with the helpe of a cold pie, ftai- 
 ied our ftomackes well, till dinner : but breakefaft 
 done, Madcappe, that was euer bufie with inuentions 
 to fet our braines aboute fomething, calls vs toge- 
 ther, and downe wee muft fit in a ring : and fall to yea 
 and no : one muft propound, another anfwere, and the 
 third giue the reafon, and propound the next : As thus 
 Madcap began : If you fee a fayre wenche, would you 
 not haue her if you could come by her ? The fecond an- 
 fweres, No ; the third makes the reafon : becaufe fhee 
 maie be more coftly then comfortable : nowe hee be- 
 ginnes ; If you were married to a foule flut, will ye 
 keepe her ? fecond yea : third becaufe ther is no reme- 
 die. If you loue a wenche, and cannot haue her ; will 
 
 you 
 
 54 
 
and Change. 5 i 
 
 you fret ? 2, no, 3 for loue is full of patience : If you 
 loue your miftris and can enioye her; will you not bee 
 glad of it ? 2, yea, or elfe hee were mad : If your wife 
 make you Cuckold, wil you put her away ? 2, No, third 
 for fhee may be profitable : If your miftris commaund 
 you any thinge, will you difobey it? 2 yea, 3, for fhee 
 may commaud him not to loue her, which he can- 
 not. If your friend abufe you, will you not hate him ? 2 
 no. 3 for he may do it vnwillingly, and then it is to be par- 
 doned : If you come where a faire wench is, will you 
 hide your eies, becaufe you wold not fee her ? 2. yea : 3 
 becaufe fhe may blinde the wit, which is worfe then 
 the eie fight. If your friends get your wife with child, 
 and you cannot, will you be angrie with any of them ? 
 2 no, 3 for it hides an imperfection. If your miftris 
 haue a fine wit, and your wife but a plain vnderftan- 
 ding, will you loue her better then your wife ? 2, no. 3 for 
 that witte that will rule a wife will not pleafe a Miftris 
 If your mif. be kind & your wife dogged : wil you loue 
 your mif. better then your wife ? 2 yea. third, for there is 
 cofort in kindnes, but ther is none in doggednes. If your 
 hufband be a fool, and your friend be wife, wil you loue 
 your frind beft : 2 yea. 3. for a fool is but the trouble of 
 wit : but, quoth mad cappe, let me afke you one thing, 
 what is moft likeft a halfe moone ? 2 a Romain C. 3, be- 
 caufe it is fharp at both ends ; wel quoth an other, but 
 what is like to loue ? fecond nothing, third becaufe 
 quoth Maddecappe, there is no fuch thinge : there 
 is bargaining and felling, looking and telling, luft 
 and folly, commanding & obeying, marying & getting 
 of children, the fons monie muft marry the daughter, 
 H 2 and 
 
52 Choice, Chaunce, 
 
 and the widows purfe, marry her yonger fon: this muft 
 be done, & that muft be done, friends muft talk, & folks 
 muft meet, the Banes muft be afked, the Church muft 
 be paid, the guefts muft be bidden, the dinner muft bee 
 eaten, the minftrels muft play, the youth muft dance, & 
 the Bride muft blufh, and the Groom muft make a leg, 
 and gloues muft be worn, and the cakes muft be fet vp, 
 and the night grows late, and you muft get you to bed, 
 and here is a ftir : but for loue, alas, where is he all this 
 while ? god knows and not I : for old folks cannot, yong- 
 er folks do not, wife folks will not, and as for fools, let 
 them whiftle, I wil not com to them : but quoth fhe, now 
 we are all out of our yeas and noes, and therefore let vs all 
 to fome other fport, when fodenly comes in fir Swadd 
 the old knight inftead of a gentleman, an hee no naye 
 muft haue a dance : fie for fhame : come come, to mor- 
 row is the laft day I tell you, and therefore bee liuely & 
 nimble, and haue about with thefe guirles : when to fa- 
 tiffie the olde huddle wee called for the mufique, 
 and paffed the time in dancing till dinner ; which done, 
 
 Ar. Yea that I would leame? what followed after dinner? 
 
 Tid. After dinner we fell tofiich table talk, as was thoght befl 
 fitting to the company ; one defcrying of a parajite by foothing 
 ■of errors, another girding at a pandar by his brazen face, and 
 his intelligence of loue : another commending beauty e to bee a 
 foile vnto vertue, another the honour of wit in the guiding of 
 loue, another what difference was betwixt valour and fury, an 
 $ther of the plague of loue in the folly of iealoufie, another out 
 of his epicurions humor, made a kinde of oration in thepraife 
 of a goofe pie, undone of Bacchus fworn men, could talke of no- 
 thing but a cup of wine: the fcholor commended learning, 
 
 becaufe 
 
 5<5 
 
, and Change. 53 
 
 becaufe it was the Miftris of Art : and another experience, 
 for that it was the labor ofreafon: Madcap commended a fool, 
 becaufe he could take no thought, but my Miflriffe a wife man 
 for confederation of all natures, and I my Miftris for her wife- 
 dom in iudgement. 
 
 Ar. / thought where I fhould haue you, but what procee- 
 ded? 
 
 Tid. I will tell you, as we were going on with our o- 
 pinions vpon fuch points, as we were to talke of, came 
 in certaine ftrangers, for the entertainment of whom, 
 we rofe from the table, and after a little ordinary cour- 
 tefie, leauing euery one to his friend or his Miftriffe, I 
 with my miftris tooke a turne in the garden, where in 
 very much kindnes, we fell to this conference : Seruant 
 quoth my Miftris, to feed you with vaine hopes might 
 argue much indifcretion in my cariage, & fo breed fom 
 tuch in my reputation, and not to regard your worthi- 
 nes, might be a difgrace to mine vnderftanding : & ther- 
 fore if you can conceiue me right, you fhal do your felf 
 no wrong: miftris qd. I, far be it from my good, to wifh 
 your hurt, do with me what you wil, for I am but as you 
 wil : your direction fhall be my courfe in the due care of 
 your commademet : my hopes cannot be vain that feed 
 on the honor of your vertue, & in your regard of my vn- 
 worthines, fhall be the height of my worlds happines : 
 well feruant, I will now altar your Title, for you haue 
 made a conqueft of your Miftris, and therefore muft 
 now be called my mafter : & therefore now mafter, fince 
 your feruant hath no doubt of your honorable emploi- 
 ment, let me fee to what good office you will preferre 
 the care of my feruicc : oh Miftris quoth I, I can not 
 
 fo 
 
54 Choice, Chance, 
 
 fo foone forget my duetie, but yet to fatiffie your will, 
 I will thus far take your fauour: that fince you will bee 
 at my commaund, I command you the office of a moft 
 kind and true friend ; that you will in your loue com- 
 maund my life, in your wifedome aduife my will, and 
 fo frame my affection to your difcretion, that my heart 
 beeing in your hands, you may worke it to your plea- 
 fure: and therefore fince the effecting of my felicity re- 
 fteth onlie in your fauour ; in the title of a friend, carie 
 all things to your contentment : wel feruant quoth fhe, 
 in your humblenes I fee fuch noblenes, that were I a 
 Princeffe, you fhould be no beggar : but as I am, let this 
 fuffice for thy comfort : That I haue often feen thee, de- 
 fired to know thee, heard well of thee, and now haue 
 feene that in thee : that wherein I can honour thee, bee 
 fure I will not faile thee : and in token of that trueth that 
 fhall neuer deceiue thee, with the loue of my heart, my 
 hand heere I giue thee : but to bleare the eies of aduer- 
 faries to our fortunes, if difcontentments fhould be ta- 
 ken, let vs go in as friends, and remaine louers, it fhall 
 not be long before you fhall heare of me to your com- 
 fort : with this fpeeche being rauifhed, as one f[w]ounding 
 in delight, as a full hart could fpeake, I made her this 
 anfwer : to your hand I giue my heart, with a more hap- 
 py then worthy hand, your fight of me was my bliffe, 
 your fpeeche to me my comfort, your regard of me my 
 honour, and your fauor my felicitie : but for your loue, 
 what a ioie it is to my life, I fhall leaue it to your better 
 iudgement then my fpeeche : and therefore if I paffe a 
 point of your direction, let me lofe the dial of my com- 
 fort. With which words we went in, and feeming more 
 
 ftrange 
 
 53 
 
and Change. 55 
 
 ftrange then before : after many pleafing paffages a- 
 mong the merrie company, the next daye beeing the 
 breaking vpp of the feaft, till the next time of our mee- 
 ting, wee tooke a kind of ftrange leaue eache one of 
 other. 
 
 Ar. But tell 'me what 'followed? noivfJieivas Lady of thy hart, 
 how cam eft thou to be Lord of her houfe ? or what was the iffue 
 of thy fortune ? 
 
 Tid. Good I affure you, but yet came news of, as you 
 fhall heare : within few daies after my comming home 
 to my lodging where I laie in a Citie, not far diftante 
 from her habitation, which I had before acquainted 
 her with : fodenlie in a morning comes a letter vnto me 
 by a footman brought me from my Miftriffe, the fu- 
 perfcription wherof was this. To my affured louing friend 
 Tidero, with fpeed : The contents whereof were in brief 
 as followeth. As a friend I requeft you, as a Seruant I 
 command you, and as a Mafter I entreate you, without 
 anfwer of excufe, prefently to make you appearace at 
 my houfe, there to vnderftand what fhall happen, much 
 is conceiued by a little, in which I reft. 
 
 Yours as you know, 
 Lamina. 
 
 I thanked the meffenger, and with as much fpeede as I 
 could, returned him with this anfwer. 
 
 To my beft and onely beloued friende, 
 the Lady Lamina. 
 
 FAir Miftriffe, kind feruant, and deere friend, excufe 
 fhall be abufe, where there is poffibilitie of perfor- 
 mance, 
 
 59 
 
56 Choice, Chance, 
 
 mance : if I could flie, I would vfe wings for wordes : 
 in the affuraunce of my happines, ioyful of what fhal 
 happen : fo til I come, comming I reft, in the loue a fer- 
 uant, your kinde mafter, and euer bounden friende : 
 
 Tidero. 
 This letter was no fooner fealed vp and fent awaie, 
 but I hafted all I could to be at the heeles of it, ere it 
 came at home, but it was receiued, perufed, and tricks 
 Inuented, and put in praftife, and all ere I coulde 
 come there : where with fuch attendants as I thought 
 fit I was entertained at the gate, with a young damfell, 
 very beautiful, ritchlie attired, and Eloquently fpoken, 
 who after the paffage of ordinarie curteous demea- 
 nour, leading me along a bafe Court into a Gardaine, 
 and fo a gallary, fell by the waie to court me with thefe 
 wordes. Sir : my cofen the Ladle of this houfe, hath 
 this daie performed a kind part with me : I praye you 
 pardon me, if in the paffion of Loue, I paffe the care of 
 modefty : Shee hath but fupplied my place, and for mee 
 hath pleaded in your affe6lio : fhe hath told me of your 
 worthynes, and I hope hath made you hers, whom be- 
 fore you knew her was wholly yours : I know you wife 
 and honourable, and therefore hope you will no leffe 
 conceale my difgrace, then deuife my comforte : Shee 
 is gon from hence, and left me heere for that purpofe : 
 what you fee, howfe, land, or wealth, whatfoeuer, is at 
 my will, and in your will at my commaund, be pleafed 
 therefore I befeech you with my fuite, and work not 
 my ruine in youre deniall : for in the one you maie 
 haue both a feruat, and a friend, in the other, a ftranger 
 and an Enemie : Lady quoth I, if I could be falfe to 
 
 loue['s] 
 
 60 
 
and Change. 57 
 
 fauour, but faith feares no fortune, my refolution bee- 
 ing fetled in the fixing of affection, I will rather haue 
 patience with the vnkindnes of a friend, then deferue 
 the rage of an enemy : It is nether houfe, lad, nor wealth 
 that can corrupt me, beauty nor words that can bewich 
 me, nor the threats of fortune that can affright mee : 
 Lami\ii\a is the day light of my loue, let the ftarrs giue 
 their light where they lift : to her haue I auowed my 
 feruice, and in her loue will I run the courfe of my life : 
 this one honor for her fake I will doe you, bury your 
 words in obliuion, and take leaue to returne to my dif- 
 comforte : no quoth the Lady that muft not bee, here 
 is nothing intended you but pleafure : and therfore 
 feare nothing may befall you, your horfes are ftabled, 
 your feruants fhall be merry, and their Mafter not mal- 
 content : returne you muft not, till you heare from your 
 Miftriffe, for fuch was her commaund, and therefore I 
 pray you haue patience : my miftriffe apparelled like a 
 young man but with a Periwigge, and a falfe Bearde, 
 comes vppon the foddaine as wee were entering in- 
 to the greate Chamber, and prefentes mee with a Let- 
 ter from my Miftriffe, the fuperfcription in this 
 manner : To my trufty feruant, my louing Mafter, and 
 approoued friend Tidero with fpeede : pardon mee to 
 perfwade you to that may perhappes difpleafe you, to 
 lacke my prefence for your better benefite : for I leaue 
 you a hearte that deerelie loues you, and a hand of 
 honour, I faie, that in her fauoure maie grace you : 
 fhee is another, and not my felfe, beleeue her, truft 
 her, and Loue her, and I will thanke you for her, 
 I i for 
 
 61 
 
58 Choice, Chance, 
 
 for her feruant is my friend : confider of thefe con- 
 tents, and in her command make my contentment ; fo 
 till I fee you, which fhall be I know not when, in hope 
 of your kindnes to my friend, I will reft euer 
 
 Your very louing friend, 
 Lami[n]a. 
 
 This Letter when I had read, and knew it to bee her 
 hand, what tricke foeuer was in her head, I prefently 
 tooke a pen and inke and returned the meffenger with 
 this anfwer: 
 
 To my gratious Mijlris, my louing feruant 
 
 and faithf ull friend the Lady 
 
 Lami[n]a with fpeede. 
 
 LAdy, is it the part of a friend to perfwade falfhood 
 in Loue ? your prefence is the Sun of my daylight, & 
 your abfence the darknes of delight. I feeke no benefite 
 but your loue, nor can loue other then your only felfe ; 
 difgrace be all worlds grace but in your eies, nor will I 
 honour a heart but in your hands ; your felf without an 
 other I ferue, and you only and no other can I loue : and 
 therefore hovvfoeuer you account of a friend, I will 
 neuer be falfe to my affection, & fo till I fee you, which 
 if it be neuer, yet while you liue will I loue you euer; 
 and fo reft. 
 
 Your faithfull friend 
 Tidero. 
 
 This letter fealed and deliuered, away goes the meffen- 
 ger, whifpering with the yong Lady a word or two, to 
 entertain me with a little talke, till fhee were gotten in, 
 
 and 
 
 62 
 
and Change. 59 
 
 and new attired, which was not long a dooing : for by 
 time that we had heard a little mufique of a prettie 
 lad that did plaie vpon a bafe violl and fing to it : the 
 fong was fcarce ended, but in comes my loue, my Mi- 
 ftrhTe attired like a horfe woman, that had bin new dif- 
 mounted, and with a prety fmile after fhee had faluted 
 many, at laft comes to me, with what? Friend, in truth 
 you are welcom : did you not receiue a letter from me ? 
 yes good friend quoth I a couple : In deed friend quoth 
 fhe you are beholding to me, for had it not bin difcur- 
 tefie to bid a friende to dinner, and not giue him enter- 
 tainment, I had not come againe fo foone : but if I had 
 not com, you fhould haue had no great caufe to miflike 
 of your company : but I hope it is wel, in trueth you are 
 welcom, you fhall ftay with me to night, to morrow go 
 as foon as you wil ; good friend quoth I, I thank you, you 
 fhall command a greater matter in my feruice : So after 
 a few complemets we fate down to dinner, where there 
 wanted no part of comfort that might be found in Ta- 
 ble kindnes ; as welcome, caruing and drinking, and fo 
 forth. But after dinner was done, 
 
 Ar. Yea now you com to the matter that I long to heare of. 
 
 Tid. I will tell you ; after the cloath was taken away, 
 my Miftris began to entertain the company with thefe 
 words. In generall hoh, you are all welcome ; you that 
 come from a feaft can better beare with a leffe pittace, 
 but what lacks in meat, let vs fill out in mirth, and firft 
 quoth fhe to her Page : Sirra take your viol and plaie, 
 and fing the fong that was taught you of Loue; which 
 commanded, was foon obeied, and thus performed : the 
 Boy taking his inftrument, fell to play & fing this ditty, 
 I 2 which 
 
 C3 
 
60 Choice, Chance, 
 
 which I will recite vnto you : for I got it out of his book. 
 Of all Conceites which is the beft ? Loue. 
 Yet what is that is thought a iejl ? Loue. 
 What thought is that giues fmallejl reft ? Loue. 
 Yet in the end makes reafon bleft ? Loue. 
 
 What wound is that is hardly Jtealed? Loue. 
 What deed is that is fureft fealed '? Loue. 
 What thought is fweeteft beft concealed? Loue. 
 What comfort kindeft beft reuealedf Loue. 
 
 What word is fweeteft to be heard? Loue. 
 
 What foundly made cannot be mard? Loue. 
 
 What feruice merits moft reward? Loue. 
 
 What grace is worthy moft regard ? Loue. 
 What Loue moft conftant in a friend? 
 Where Loue is louely without end? 
 Well faid Boie quoth fhe, now goe your waies to din- 
 ner : Let vs alone, and now my mafters quoth fhe, doe 
 but imagine you are at a Bridall, and let vs bee as merrie 
 as we were there, let vs fall to fome fport or other: play 
 maie be coftlie, mufique we fhall haue enough anon, & 
 therefore let vs fpend a little time in fome pleafing ex- 
 «rcife : I will begin to you : whereto euery one giuing a 
 willing confent, fhe began thus : we haue been at yeas 
 and noes, griefes and ioies, let vs now goe to Buts, one 
 propound, another anfwer, the Third giue the reafon : 
 Beautie is a bleffed hue : 2 But : 3 it workes manie curfed 
 actions : then another, monie is a good thing : But, 3 it 
 brings many to miferie : Again vertue is honourable, 2 
 But, 3 fometime fhe wants mony : Againe Loue is preti- 
 ous, 2 But ; 3 if it be right : Againe, kindneffe is the ioye 
 
 of 
 
 64 
 
and Change. 61 
 
 of loue : 2 But, 3 in conftancy : then qd I loue is the ioy 
 of life : 2 But quoth the fecond : in a true friend quoth 
 my Miftris : Again patience is a vertue : 2 But, 3 a poor 
 one: another, hope is comfortable, 2 But 3 when it is 
 happy : Content is a kingdome, 2 But, 3 in conceite. As 
 we were going on with our Buts, comes in a gallant 
 youth wel accompanied and attended, who as it after- 
 wards fell out, was a Suter to the young Lady, that to 
 trie my conftancie came about me with a trick of loue, 
 or rather wit indeed, to find out the trueth or falfhood 
 of a louer : wherupon the company rofe, and after al ob- 
 feruances of due compliments, he with his yong Lady, 
 and I with my Miftris fell to fuch parlee, as we thought 
 beft for our purpofe : he in the Parlour, and wee in the 
 garden, where what followed you fhall heare. 
 
 Ar. Good I doubt not. 
 
 Tid. Good indeed, and better to : for after that we had 
 walked a turne or two, fhee reuealing of her deuife, to 
 try the conftancy of my affe&ion, tooke all thinges fo 
 well, and requited them fo kindly, as honour could de- 
 fire, that Loue might enioye : but by the waie among 
 other talke, I praie thee friend quoth Shee, do me this 
 kindneffe for to lend me your little Table book in your 
 pocket : for I did a little ouer looke you the other daie 
 and I am much miftaken, but I faw you writing of 
 verfes : Indeede Miftriffe quoth I it is true, vppon fome 
 certaine idle notes that I tooke out of my obferuati- 
 on of certaine Creatures, I wrote a fewe idle odde 
 lines, which I will committe vnto your kindeneffe 
 in fecrete to make vfe of: which no fooner hadd fhee 
 taken, and read it ouer, but a heartie laughter, and 
 
 much 
 
 65 
 
62 Choice, Chance, 
 
 much thankes fhe tooke of me : and told me (he would 
 reade them at night in her bedde ; but the booke put 
 vp in her pocket, with contented mindes in we go to- 
 gether, paffed awaie the daie pleafantly, and after fup- 
 per the young gallant a neighbour hard by tooke his 
 leaue of his miftris, and awaie, leauing vs to fall to fuch 
 fortunes as fell out. 
 
 Ar. Oh, but I prate thee kinde wagge, tell me fome of thy 
 verfes. 
 
 Tid. I will, vpon a finicall Affe, I wrote a kind of Epi- 
 grammicall fonnet in this manner. 
 
 A dapper fellow that is fine and neate, 
 His hofe well gartered, and his Ruffes wellfet 
 Without his picktoothe can not eate his meate, 
 Nor fit at Table where the clothe is wet. 
 
 Can talke of nothing but of daintie fare, 
 And thinke of nothing but a fafhion ; 
 
 Troubles his confidence but with little cares 
 And yet will filiew fiome idle pafifions : 
 
 Can fimile aud fimper, congey, kifife the hand, 
 And caft afiheeps eie at a fie for filiame 
 A nd on the tiptoes of his honour filand, 
 When God he knowes it neuer knew his name. 
 What will this Gallant leaue vpon his graue f 
 He liu'd a Raficall, and lie died a knaue. 
 
 Ar. Good in trueth, more I pray thee, what was the next? 
 Tid. The next was on a fool, on a fwaggering ruffe. 
 
 He that was gotten in a drunken fit, 
 
 Bred vp in brabbles, and by fikifting Hues, 
 
 His Dad a Tinker, and his Dam a Tit, 
 
 His 
 
 66 
 
and Change. 63 
 
 His portion nothing bat what fortune giues : 
 
 Studies no art, but how to cheate and cofen, 
 To packe a Card, or cleanly Jlrike a Die, 
 Swears by the Elle, and drinketh by the douzen, 
 Talkes what he lift, and euery word a lie : 
 
 Bragges of his Jlate, and ietts like lack an Apes, 
 Weares no good cloths, but of an others cofl: 
 Gets fome odd booties, by vnhappy f capes, 
 Spends on the f core, and neuer paies his Hofle. 
 
 What will be f aid of him another dale? 
 
 God hath done well to take a knaue away. 
 
 Ar. Another honeft wagge, if thou louefl me. 
 Tid. I will, and another and another to, and as many 
 as I can remember, if you like them fo well. 
 Ar. The more the better, 1 pray thee out with them. 
 Tid. I will : vpon a fhamfaft. clown in gaie clothes. 
 
 He that makes curtfie at a Ladies doore, 
 And blufheth at a clappe vpon the Cheeke, 
 And faies good morrowe Miflrijfe and no more, 
 And weares his filken clothes but once a weeke. 
 
 Stoupes and goes backward, when he makes a legge 
 And faies forfooth at euery word is fpoken : 
 And onely keeps his Maidenhead for Megge 
 And in his hat will weare her true loues token : 
 
 Cannot endure to tafl a Cup of wine, 
 
 And loues the Browne loafe better then the white : 
 
 Will at the fpending of a penny whine, 
 
 And alwaies goes to bed at Candle light. 
 
 What will be written on his worfhippes Tombef 
 Wo to the Bride that meets withfuch a Groome. 
 
 Vpon 
 
 67 
 
64 Choice, Chaunce, 
 
 Vpon a churle that was a great vfurer. 
 A chuff thatfcarce hath teeth to chew his meate, 
 Heares with deafe eares, and fees with glaffy eies, 
 Vnto his graue his path doth daily beate, 
 Or like a logg vpon his pallet lies : 
 
 Hath not a thought of God, nor of his grace, 
 Speaks not a word but what intends to gaine, 
 Can haue no pitty on the poore Mans cafe, 
 But will the hart firings of the needy flraine : 
 
 Cries not till death, and then but giues a groane, 
 To leaue his filuer, and his golden bags, 
 Then gafpes and dies, and with a little moane 
 Is lapped vp in a few rotten ragges : 
 
 What will this Clunchfifl leaue vpon his graue ? 
 Here lies the Carkaffe of a wretched knaue. 
 
 Ar. Rightly hit, more I pray thee. 
 
 Tid. Vpon a cheating Companion. 
 He that was borne out of a Baftard race, 
 Betwixt a beggar and a Gentleman, 
 A filthy Carkaffe and an ougly face, 
 Andplaies thefoole before a Maid Marian : 
 
 Canfeeme as fober as a Millers Mare, 
 And cannot blufh at any villany : 
 In euery Market fhifteth for afhare, 
 And fits himfelfefor euery company : 
 
 Hath all the Cards vpon his fingers ends, 
 And keeps a knatie inflorefor many a tricke. 
 Will be a traitor to his truefil friends, 
 And Hues not by the dead, but by the quicke. 
 Vpon his Tombe what memory willpaffe f 
 Here lies the damnedfl Rogue that euer was. 
 
 6S 
 
and Change. 65 
 
 Ar. Oh filthy rafcall, it is pitty that Iiejhould come among 
 good company, but on I pray thee withfome more. 
 
 Tid. The next was vpon a Gull, that for a little wealth 
 was made a Gentleman of the firft head, which was 
 thus : 
 
 He that is well conceited of his wit, 
 Becaufe a knaue or foole doth flatter him, 
 And knowes not how to Jland, nor goe nor Jit, 
 When in his garments he is gaie and trim : 
 Rides like the trey of Clubs betwixt two Clow lies, 
 A yealow doublet, and a tawny hofe, 
 Hath halfe ay card of Land, in two country townes, 
 A nd like a Hogge doth gruntle as he goes : 
 Weares a courfe flocking, and a Holland Ruffe, 
 A Brooche and picktoothe, in an oldjilke hat, 
 Lookes bigge at Beggars, takes a iefl in fnuffe, 
 And in an alehoufe fpends he cares not what : 
 Of this great Gull what memory will paffe ? 
 He liu'd a Cockfcombe, and he died an affe. 
 Another vpon a Pander. 
 He that is hatcht out of a Cucker broode, 
 Betwixt a Kiflrell, and a Bagige kite, 
 Feedes all on off all, and fuch filthy foode, 
 Is neither fit for feather, nor for flight : 
 But in his teeth can clofely keepe a ring, 
 And make a motion for a filthy matche, 
 Can beare the Bob, while other play andfing, 
 And hath the craft to cloake and connicatche : 
 Can like a dogge lie fneaking at a doore, 
 A nd creepe and curtfie, couche and bowe the knee, 
 And be a carier to a common flore, 
 What will be f aid of fuch afwad as he : 
 Here lies a tronke of natures trechery, 
 A flaue that onely liu'd by lechery. 
 
 K 1 Ar. 
 
 69 
 
66 Choice, Chance, 
 
 Ar. Some more I pray thee, wliat was the next ? 
 Tid. Vpon a louing foole, as you fhall heare. 
 A foole that knozves not how to vfe his eies, 
 But takes apiclure for an Angells face 
 And in his thoughts firange wonders will deuife, 
 To bring his wits into a pitteous cafe : 
 Matcketh the light with darknes, heauen with hell, 
 Wifedome with folly, Ignorance with wit : 
 And to himfelfe will fuch fond fancies tell, 
 As neither are for wit nor reafon fit. 
 But like a Madman mumbleth ta himfelfe, 
 His dainty Parnell hath no paragon, 
 But like an Ape fits fidling with an Elfe, 
 Till Lands and goods and life, and all are gone. 
 Wliat will fame write that did his folly proue ? 
 Here lies the foole tJiat liu'd and died for loue. 
 The next was vpon a prodigall Cockefcomb, that 
 
 troubled all good company. 
 He that willjlrew his mony in the ftreetes, 
 Folloives the dice, and alwaies throzves at all, 
 Offers difgrace to euery Man he meetes, 
 Snuff es zp the Nofe, and fwaggers for the wall: 
 Cares for 110 lawe, and knowes not how to loue, 
 Makes fleepe and eating his foules paradice, 
 Will not put vp that may his patience moue, 
 Treads on a worm, and braues a flight of flies : 
 Lookes a tofide, and fwears at euery word, 
 Knits vp the Browes, andfets his armes ajlrnt, 
 Takes all mens tables, laies his knife aboord, 
 Andplaies theflouen with a filthy flutf 
 After his death what zvill befall his due f 
 Here lies the Captaine of the damned crue. 
 Ar. Goodwaggeries, buthadfltJwu noneofthefemitiinegenderf 
 Tid. Yes fome one or two, but no more. 
 Ar. I pray thee tell me them. 
 Tid. I will : the firft was this, vpon a fowle idle flut. 
 
 70 She 
 
and Change. 67 
 
 She that is neither fair c, nor riche, nor wife 
 
 And yet as proude as any Peacocks taile, 
 
 Mumpes with her lippes, and winketh with her eies, 
 
 And thinkes the world of fooles will neuer faile. 
 
 Stands on her pantqfles for lacke offhoos, 
 
 And idly talkes for want of better wit, 
 
 Will haue her will, what euer fo fhe loofe, 
 
 And fay her mind, although fhe die for it: 
 
 Is Cofen germane to a iacke an Apes, 
 
 Andfifter to her Mothers fpeckled fowe, 
 
 Kin to a Codfliead, ivhen he kindly gapes, 
 
 Aunt to an Affe, and Cofen to a Cowe. 
 
 What zvill befaide of her fo fit for no man ? 
 Oh fie vpon her, twas a filthy woman. 
 The next was vpon a cunning Tit, as thus 
 She that lookes fifteene thoufand waies at once, 
 Makes twenty faces ere fhe drejfe her head, 
 Studies for words to feme her for the nonce, 
 With idle trickes to bring a foole to bed . 
 Turnes vp the white of an ilfauoured eie, 
 Treads on her toes, becaufe her fieeles are fore, 
 Splaies out her foote, and holds her head awry. 
 And beares her placket far enough before: 
 Speakes all in print, and reads with a ftrange grace, 
 Writes like a fcriuener, like a F idler jing 
 Sits fourteen howrs a painting of Iter face, 
 And tries the vfe of many afecret thing: 
 Offuch a Minkes what memory willpajfe f 
 A cunning Ape, will Cofen many an Affe. 
 Ar. Pretilyput on, but I pray thee didft thou write none in com- 
 mendation of fome worthy Creature ? 
 
 Tid. Yes, fome two or three which you fhall heare. 
 The firfb vpon a true fouldier. 
 He that was well begot, and truely bredde 
 Wrought all with trueflitche, and both fides alike, 
 Hath not his fancie on vaine humors fed, 
 
 K 2 71 But 
 
68 Choice, Chance, 
 
 But finds the bliffe, that bafenejfe cannot feeke. 
 
 Starts twt to heare a Demiculuerin, 
 
 Nor feares to charge vpon aftand of pikes, 
 
 Fights like a fury when his hand is in, 
 
 Shrinkes not ihejhoulder where the Cotvard flrikes : 
 
 But hues a Trompet better then a pipe, 
 
 Prefers a March before a Moris daunce, 
 
 Beares a dead wound but as a little flripe : 
 
 And a coate armour for his cognifaunce : 
 
 Gets yet this good, that when his bones be rotten, 
 His worthy fame will neuer be forgotten. 
 The next was of anhoneftman that tookegreat pains for fmall 
 profit, and yet held vp the head : As thus. 
 Who beates his braines to write for no rewarde, 
 May breake his Pen and lay his paper by : 
 Who ferues for Grace, and Hues without regard, 
 Mayjigh and fob, and grieue and mourne and die, 
 And yet againejince Heauen will haue itfo, 
 Somefhall haue wealth, and other fome haue woes : 
 Patience doth many paffions ouergoe, 
 That are vntemperate fpirits ouerthroive : 
 Let him that cannot Hue then learne to die, 
 VVhatfhall be,fliall be,fpight of death and hell, 
 They are but babies that will hozvle and crie, 
 Cowards that faint to bid the world farewell : 
 No, fill the hearts with forrow to the brinke, 
 A true bredfpirit hath no power to finke. 
 
 The next was vpon a merry honeft fellow that was out 
 of tune for his purfe. 
 
 He that was gotten in a Chriflmaffe night, 
 After a deale of mirth and merry cheer e, 
 When Tom and Tib, were in their true delight, 
 A nd hee lou'd her, andfhe held him full deere : 
 Brought vp in plainneffe trueth and honefly, 
 Can not away to heare of knauery, 
 
 Lines with his Neighbors in true amity, 
 72 
 
and Change. 69 
 
 And cares not for this worldly brauery : 
 Goes through the world with yea and nay and Jo, 
 And meddles with no matters of import, 
 When to his graue this honeft man fhall goe. 
 What will the world of all his worth report ? 
 Here lies a man, like hiues that haue no hony, 
 An honefl Creature but he had no mony. 
 
 The laft I wrote of my felfe, which was this. 
 He that is moulded of a noble mind, 
 Purified mettall, fteele vnto the backe, 
 Flies not with f ethers of a Buzzards kind, 
 Cries not withfeare, to heare a thunder cracke. 
 Sups vp his ftghes, and fzva Howes downe his grief e, 
 Begs but of God, or of his great vicegerents, 
 Can not endure to name the word relief e, 
 Andferues but honor, or her loues adherents : 
 Knowes his defart, and yet can not importune, 
 Bites on bare neede, and yet laments no lacke, 
 Hates to be cald, or thought the child of fortune, 
 Stoupes not to death vnlill the heart do crack : 
 Lines like himfe'fe, and at his late ft breath, 
 Dies like hitnfelfe, ye[a] though he flame to death. 
 
 Ar. Staruefaiefl thou ? no it is apitty thatfuch afpiritfliould 
 hauefuch a fortune: hoivfoeuer it filand with thee, bee thus far 
 bold with me : Hue with me & fliare my fortunes, I protefi 
 I will want of my mind, ere thoufhalt ivant tJiat thou needefl ; 
 but with many thanks for thy kind verfes, & difcourfes, I pray 
 thee tell me what followed of thy fortunes with thy Miftris ? 
 
 Tid I will tell you : after she had taken my Table book 
 and perufed fuch trifles as fhe founde, well Seruante 
 quoth fhee, I fee you are a wagge ; but it is no matter, I 
 muft tell you in plaine termes, I know fom of them de- 
 feated as much as you haue written, but letting al thefe 
 
 toies 
 
 73 
 
70 and Change. 
 
 toies 'paffe, let me tel thee, the loue I bear thee, with the 
 truth I haue foud in thee, haue made me fo much thine, 
 that I am no more my owne : & in token hereof, receiue 
 from me this diamond, & for that I know not how thou 
 art furniihed for mony, take here this purfe of golde, to 
 defray fuch charges as may fall vpo you for your good: 
 befides here- is a pair of bracelets, which you fhal wear 
 for my fake : in the morning be ftirring early, for I mean 
 to be at the Church hereby ioyning to my houfe, there 
 to make faft that knot that fhall neuer be vndone : & fo 
 let vs go in and paffe away the time as friends, but no 
 further in the eie of the world : for it fhall be beft to my 
 content, that the care be priuately caried, till our com- 
 fort be not to be croffed : with thefe words, as it were 
 ouercome with ioy, with willing conlet I obeid her co- 
 mandement : all which euening and night we paffed in 
 fuch exercifes, that all parties pleafed, we went euery 
 one to his lodging, but how little fleepe I tooke, I leaue 
 to the watchme in the work of loue : in the morning the 
 Lady not long after me at the Church dore, feeing me at 
 my praiers, kindly faluted me, & the Churchman ready 
 with a few witneffes of her prouiding & my only feruat 
 hauing fent another home vppon neceffary occafions : 
 fcarce was the book opened, a few words read, and our 
 hearts ioyning hands, but by a villanus plot of a damna- 
 ble lew, that in the fhape of a man caried the fpirit of a 
 deuil, came into the Church with fome dozen of Maf- 
 carados with ougly vizards on their faces, with fwords 
 and daggars drawne, cried out Tidero : with the afrighte 
 wherof the Lady fell down, & after many f[w]oundings lay 
 as dead : the Captain of thefe accurfed caitifes, was one 
 Sulferino a gallant there in the country, who hauing 
 
 wafted 
 
 74 
 
and Change. 71 
 
 wafted his eftate, thought likewife to be the ouerthrow 
 of this Ladies, who in the pretence of loue to her, pra- 
 ftifed this villany to me : well, vpon fodaine how was I 
 here diftreffed ? my Loue lying as it were dead before 
 me, my enemies ready to difpatch me : but vppon the 
 fodaine holding my life at as high a rate as. I could, de- 
 termining to fell it deare, among them I went, & with 
 a Piftoll that my Man gaue me, and fuch weapons as 
 we had, we laid the chiefe villaine on the earth, & thofe 
 that could got away, but my felfe fore wounded, & my 
 feruat no leffe, looking vpon my Miftris, I faw her come 
 to life againe, when her eies alifted vp, flie fighed out, 
 oh friend art thou aliue ? thou maieft fay thou haft had 
 an enemy and not a friend, but good friend leade mee 
 home : which I did with fome few that were with vs : 
 but no fooner came into the chamber, but fending for 
 her Coufen the fayr Lady, after fhe had deliuered the 
 whole difcourfe, in mine armes tooke her leaue of the 
 world : befeeching her (euen a little before her laft gafp) 
 for her fake, to doe me all the honour fhe could : to tell 
 you my cafe in the paffion that then took me, it is more 
 then I can expreffe : but the Lady her Cofen priuately 
 keeping me till I was healed of my wounde, within a 
 fewe daies after finding the fharpe reuenge intended 
 me by a brother of my late dead enemy, conueied mee 
 away with my feruants to Sea, furnifhing mee with all 
 things neceffary for my voiage ; but as one mifchief fo- 
 loweth another, fo was it with me ; for being near vnto 
 the coaft of this countrie ; came a fodaine tempeft, in 
 which our fhip driuen on a rocke, tooke a wracke, by 
 means whereof, goods none at all, and men few, were 
 faued, yet my felfe by meanes of a piece of a Made that 
 
 floated 
 
 75 
 
72 Choice, Chance, 
 
 floated on the vvaues, was driuen on land, and with a 
 few crownes in my pocket, and thefe bracelets on my 
 armes, that had like to haue fpoiled my fwimming gat 
 to fhore, and am come away as you fee, not yet three 
 daies fince, and your felfe the firft of my friends that I 
 haue met with. 
 
 Ar. Thou haft told me of fuck a Merry goefory, as I haue 
 not often heard of: I am fory for thy ill fortune, but am glad 
 to fee thee aliue : forrowe not for her that is gone, for that is 
 helpleffe, nor for thy felfe too much, for that is needleffe: thy for- 
 tunes may be better at home, then they liaue bin abroade ; take 
 no thought, be merry, we are now hard at the Towne, we will 
 dine togither, and foone we will home togither : I haue a neigh- 
 bor within a mile, may hap line to do thee good : Let vs goe. 
 Tid. Arnofilo I thank you, and thinke my felfe happy 
 to haue mett with you : when wee come home wee will 
 talke further of the world, in the aduancement of 
 my fortune, you mail but bind a friend : now 
 what his fortune was, and what courfes he 
 ran in it, if I heare you like well of 
 this, you fhall hear of the reft, 
 ere it be long-. 
 
 FINIS. 
 
 76 
 
NOTES AND ILLUSTRATIONS. 
 
 To the Reader, p. 3, 1. 8, ' in graim ' — a dyer's phrase = dyed thoroughly, not 
 merely on the surface, and so perishable ; last two lines, '/»- 
 fert,' &c. See p. 61, 1. 1, and relative note. 
 Choice and Change, p. 5, 1. II, 'a good yeer ' — used much as we use the greet- 
 ing-phrase, not as derived originally from the French gonjeer. 
 Page 6, 1. 2, ' all is well that ends well ' — a proverb adopted by Shakespeare 
 imperishably ; 1. 6, ' meale whole '= flesh whole, physically 
 well; 1. 8, 'bat'— see Introduction; 1. 9, ■ mezilV or mesyl 
 = a leper from mesil, now appropriated to our measles ; 
 1. 23, 'doubte'= suspect ; 1. 26, 'a dry falutation '= not a 
 hearty one: still used in a similar sense — possibly due to the 
 fact that, when one is heartily glad to see one, not only does 
 the eye moisten, but pace Tee Totallers, the mutual glass 
 expresses it ; 1. 28, ' let the Diuett goe hang himfelfe ' — a semi- 
 proverbial saying still in use. 
 ,, 7, 1. 4= 'I pray thee bee [merry] let us be merry,' &c. — a broken sen- 
 tence not infrequent contemporaneously and even now ; 1. 7, 
 'Come line,' &c. — see Introduction; 1. 13, punctuate comma 
 after ' Poifoned. ' 
 ,, 8, I. 3, ' skull'= shoal. Seamen now use school or skool, and also skall 
 and skul ; 1. 9, ' Penile' = a chicken or fowl, Fr. Poulet — an 
 old form of Poulterer was poulter (V. Cotgrave, s.v. ); 1. 10, 
 'Hobby ' = a species of hawk ; 1. 16, 'Dolphin '= the thresher 
 or thrasher, a species of grampus, and a cetacean like the 
 whale; 1. 17, 'Marli?i'= a small kind of hawk, falco sesalon 
 of Linnceus. From a strangely overlooked book, viz., 'Sivqila. 
 Too good to be true : Omen. : 
 
 Though fo at a vewe, 
 
 Yet all that I tolde you, 
 
 Is true, I vphold you : 
 
 Now ceafe to aske why ? 
 
 For I can not lye. 
 Herein is shewed by way of Dialogue, the wonderfull maners 
 of the people of Manqfun, with other talke not friuolous. 1587.' 
 — I take a quaint story of the ' Marlin ' or merlin — " Beholde 
 a little Birde fhall make thee afliamed. But how canft thou be 
 aihamed ? for I thinke thou haft no fhame at all. The little 
 Marlin will not pray on the laft Birde that (lie catcheth at 
 night, but holds her in her tallents all night without hurting 
 her, onely to keepe her feife the warmer, and then in the 
 
y8 Notes and Illustrations. 
 
 morning me letteth her goe : which Marlin aduifedly marking 
 which way the fame Bird doth flye, will not flye toward that 
 quarter of all that day for her praye, leaft ihe fhould hap to 
 catche her and fo hurt her that had done her good, pinch her 
 that had pleafured her, and kill her that had comforted her. 
 The little Birde againft her will hath pleafured the Marlin, and 
 yet the Marlin is thankefull for it" (p. 159). 
 Page 9, 1. II, 'flote' — an example, as in Shakespeare, of d of past form being 
 omitted in verbs ending in d and t ; 1. 13, 'fand'= quicksand ; 
 1. 16, 'ffoyes'= a small vessel, generally sloop rigged, originally 
 a coaster, and so called, it is said, because it stopped when it 
 was called or hoyed to, to take up goods or passengers — now 
 it is a kind of store or provision lighter, e.g. , a powder hoy, a 
 provision hoy, &c. 
 
 „ lo,l. 16, 'courfe'= coarse ; 1. 26, 'thofe'=* common laws — we should 
 have said 'these.' 
 
 ,, II, 1. 10, ' partie and partie'= person and person ; 1. 16, 'bale'= debate, 
 strife. 
 
 ,, 12,1-5, ' a d°g' — see Introduction; 1. 26, ' Items '= details or par- 
 ticulars. 
 
 ,, 13, 1. 4, ' Hues in fufpition'= suspected of making him a cuckold; 1. 6, 
 ' a greate cap ' — one that will cover his eyes ; 1. 21, ' noutes '= 
 notes, as in bottom of pp. 7, 8. 
 
 ,, 14, 1. 12, 'Terra Straw' — strave is North for strove or tried; 1. 23, 
 'full pointe ' — query a pun on point (in dispute) and pint ; last 
 five lines — see Introduction. 
 
 „ 15, 1. 7, 'falted' — qu. another pun, salted as with salt, and never danced, 
 Fr. Salter ? 1. 1 7, ' ajhort narrow Jlone bridge ' — see Introduc- 
 tion ; last line, 'Sider'= cyder. 
 
 „ 16, 1. 3, ' welt or guarde'= trimmings, facings; 1. 18, ' Cunnings '=ken- 
 nings, knowings; 1. 22, 'grinne' — a form of gin, trap, or 
 snare (see Florio, s.v.); 1. 3 = all, but [or only] a Gudgin, or 
 qu. , nearly as trifling as a gudgeon ? 
 
 ,, 17, 1. 8, ' hogs' 1 = young sheep, sometimes from six months, sometimes 
 from a. year old till first shorn — hence the progress to the 
 shearing or sheerling; 1. 21, ' CatlelV — applied as then not 
 merely to oxen, &c, as now; 1. 27, 'flrayne'= lineage, race 
 — commonly spelled ' strene. ' 
 
 ,, 18, 1. I. 'Straine' — see just-preceding note; 1. 19, 'i?ra:,&'= badger; 1. 21, 
 ' clipping their Skinnes for feare of the flie ' — apparently tar 
 was not then used, as now, in case of such clipping wounds ; 
 1. 3 (from bottom), ' tilthe '= produce of agriculture or tillage. 
 
 ,, 19, 1. 3, ' haye Ree' '= go on, and 'Who'=who3., i.e., stop — both ex- 
 clamations to a horse ; 1. 20, read ' doe well ' [for] both ; 1. 26, 
 * a goodfubieil ' — see Introduction. 
 
 „ 21, 1. 2, ' riding '= riding her on n brown staff — a popular and jocular 
 
Notes and Illustrations. jq 
 
 punishment (a la Lynch) then in vogue; 1. 13, ■ good cheape' '= 
 very cheap or over cheap, cheaper than usual; 11. 15-16, as 
 exemplified in Armin's Foole who stole the mince pie. 
 Page 22, 1. 6, ' moon is made of a green cheefe ' — see Introduction ; punctuate 
 'cheese*: Philosophy; the meaning being — It is a principle 
 in philosophy [that] contraries, &c. 
 
 i> 23, 1. 3, punctuate comma after 'whether'; ibid., 'An old,' &c. — see 
 Introduction; 1. 14, 'ftrait,' t.e., straight in body. Cf. p. 20, 
 1. 9 (from bottom), 1. 3 (from bottom), read 'palsey,' not as 
 filled in as if ' palfrey ' — our mistake of f for s = the abject 
 fear into which they threw him. 
 
 „ 24,1. 10, ' Ceblatiue'^wt should say cobblering or cobbled; 1. 19, 
 " dropping nofed ' — a characteristic of Armin's Fools. 
 
 ,, 25, 1. 1, 'long home'= grave — still in use; 1. 22, 'Jlapfawce' — the 
 name seems to be significant in this way, he dressed slovenly 
 or hurriedly, as one who makes up (or eats) a sauce in a slap- 
 dash manner. 
 
 „ 26, 1. I, 'a brooch'' — see Introduction; 1. 2, ' Bqffe' — a round orna- 
 mental protuberance (as it still meanes) on a bridle, generally of 
 metal ; 1. 21, 'good cheap ' — as to be got by its being given him 
 him by his tenants, &c. — a skit at his penuriousness. See p. 17. 
 
 „ 27, 1. J, 'points '= the ties [to his breeches]. 
 
 „ 28, 1. 6, ' ajirut'= standing out in a stiff projecting way — hence as ap- 
 plied to legs it means to stand astride or as straddle-legs, or 
 with legs apart. Seep. 70, 1. 28; 1. 14, 'Setter' — like the Setter 
 dog, who would look for and point fools that they might be 
 treated as game, i.e., caught and eaten; 1. 18, ' heidcgies'= 
 dances (country or round) mirthful or hoydenish — the word is 
 also given as 'heidegiver' (Spenser) and ' Haydigiues ' ; 1. 4 
 (from bottom) ' bodies '= boddice. 
 
 ,, 29, 1. 8, 'cracke' — a common custom with children and young people to 
 make the joints crack — if the joint cracks the person has a 
 sweetheart, if not she has none ; 1. 12, ' fall aboord' — nautical 
 term, to run alongside of. 
 
 i) 3°) '• 7i 'Perilous' — see Introduction; ibid., ' Vrchin' — doubtful 
 whether used as = hedgehog, or as a mischievous sprite, or as 
 we use it for a mischievous unruly boy or child. 
 
 „ 31, 1. 2 — I have filled in to[o], but it might be really = to put to, i.e., 
 to affix a thing to, as a horse to a cart, and so a reply, &c. , as 
 well put to a man or to his saying. 
 
 „ 32, 1. 4, ' doe' = due. 
 
 » 33, 1. II,* Bugle,' i.e. , bugle horn or buffalo horn ; 1. 23, ' a bafket ' — Grose 
 says that boxers at cockpits, unable to pay their losings, were 
 adjudged to be suspended in a basket till the sport was over. 
 Hence here = this would-be sharper ; 1. 26, ' can awaie '=can 
 you in the same way with me, i.e., be a companion or consort ; 
 
80 Notes and Illustrations. 
 
 last line, 're/le'= a game, because to set up one's 'rest' at Pri- 
 mero or similar games. 
 Page 34, 1. 14, 'one,' i.e., one [letter or piece of news] ; 1. 16, 'be holding'= 
 beholden; 1. 25, ' white pigeon' — a pigeon is sometimes used 
 for one gulled, but also for sharpers at lotteries. White is = 
 cowardly. From the following clause about the gander, &c, 
 probably 'white pigeon ' means a cowardly kind of gull. 
 „ 35, 1. 21, ' bujke point' — this is the wooden or whalebone (now steel) 
 plate worn down the front of the stays. It would seem by the 
 phrase that the stays were then (as now) recently made to open 
 in front ; ibid. ' gajkin '— gaskins (wide), breeches or slops, 
 may or may not have been the same as galligaskins, which 
 were made wide or loose. 
 >> 36, 1. 7> ' aboord.' See note on p. 29, 1. 12. 
 
 „ 37, 1. 2 onward — see Introduction; 1. 22, ' 1 ' hauefpoiled,' &c. — prob- 
 ably a common or proverbial saying = excuse me, I must be 
 busy otherwise ; 1. 4 (from bottom), ' Tabies'= back-gammon. 
 
 „ 38, 1. 6, 'were a cappe,' i.e., she makes a fool of him, because a cap when 
 fitted with a cock's comb became a fool's cap of office. The 
 answer follows up the allusion; 1. 16, 'a great train of his 
 retinue' — see Introduction ; 1. 6 (from bottom), ' your colours' 
 — as followers in war wore their master's colours, so gallants 
 wore the colours that their mistress was known by, or the 
 ribbon, &c, that she had given. 
 
 39> !• 3> ' launders' = jaundice; I. 8, 'tawny'— there may have been no 
 allusion intended, but the mourning colours of that day were 
 black and tawny. 
 
 „ 40, 1. 2, '-woodcock' — she would insinuate a 'fool,' and in her next sen- 
 tence that he and the fool were one ; 1. 4, * Taffel' = Tassel 
 (gentle) the male of the goss-hawk; 1. 6, ' quibibbles'= quibbles 
 stutteringly pronounced by the fool ; 1. n, ' hawke at the Iais' 
 = a puerile amusement, flying at small (and insignificant) 
 game; 1. 20, 'woodcock,' &c. — herein this affected mistake is 
 the blow he speaks of; 1. 24, ' pepper •' '=be angry, as one would 
 be if so physically irritated. The same or the natural gesture 
 of sniffing, gave us the phrase — to take it in snuff (or as here 
 to snuff simply) in the same sense. 
 
 ,, 41, 1. 18, ' fiddle f addle' — nonsense. See Nares, s.v., for quotations 
 from Cowley. Perhaps = fussy trifling. 
 
 ,, 42, 1. 10 (from bottom), read 'manner[s]\ 
 
 ,, 43, 1. 26, ' Treafon' — the Gunpowder Plot was a quite recent memory. 
 
 ,, 44, 11. 14-17 — as the questions are all (probably) his, the punctuation 
 here is somewhat confusing, but a little attention makes clear 
 without departure from the original. See also in next two 
 pages, in not marking change of speakers. 
 
 .. 45. '!• 4-6. &c— metaphors from gaming — one drew at random till they 
 
Notes and Illustrations. 8 1 
 
 got (or did not get) prime. ' Flujh ' as now = all cards of one 
 suit. ' Reft' 1 = the stake which each sets up on view of his first 
 cards. The game appears to have been primero. I have not 
 sufficient knowledge of it to explain the related sayings ; 1. 14, 
 ' roat '= rote ; 1. 20, ' Anus '= ass. 
 Page 46, 1. 9, for '/he' query 'he '? 1. 21, 'Aleumiflry'= alchemy. 
 
 „ 47, L 7, read ' S\c\holer,' as in 1. n ; 1. 15, ' Panpudding' — a pudding 
 of " Shropshire " (Taylor, 1630, i. p. 146) = a pudding baked 
 in a pan. 
 
 ,, 48, 1. 2 (from bottom), ' what a /fight it is to fee good meate, and have no 
 flomake,' &c. — recalls Robert Burns's grace before meat : 
 "Some have meat an' canna eat 
 Some have na meat that want it, 
 But we hae meat an' we can eat 
 And sae the Lord be thankit." 
 
 „ 49, 1. 12, 'a hall hoh'= clear a space, common in Shakespeare, Sir John 
 Davies, Bishop Hall, &c. ; 1. 22, ' a pofle for pudding ' — see 
 Introduction. 
 
 >i 5°j '• 5i ' Ma/kers and mummers' — the two are here distinguished, which 
 is not always done in our Dictionaries ; 1. 6 (from bottom), 
 'illuded' — deluded, illusioned; 1. 2 (from bottom), 'wide 
 heauen' — query, corruption of 'vide heauen,' as good year is 
 in gonjeer? 
 
 „ 51, 11. 18-19, '/aire walhes'= fairings apparently, or qu. revels? 1. 23, 
 ' and ' — qu. ' in ' ? 
 
 „ 52, 1. 16, 'leaue Lady for Mif!ris'= seems to show that unmarried wo- 
 men were 'ladies,' and when married, and not knights' or 
 noblemen's wives, became 'mistresses.' 
 
 „ 53, 1. 22, ' al a Nimphale' — Nymphale being the French adjectival of 
 'Nymphe,' al a is apparently amis-reading of ' a la.' 
 
 „ 54, 1. 10, punctuate 'Ladie' ; 11. 22-3, 'yea and no' — game so 
 
 named. See below. 
 
 >< S5> '■ 3> probably '3' should be filled in after 'yea.' 
 
 „ 56, I. 14, 'fir Swadd' — not his name, but an epithet. 'Swadd,' in the 
 North, was = a foolish shallow lout or bumpkin; 1. 19, 'the 
 olds huddle' '= a contemptuous term for an old decrepit person ; 
 1. 22, ' after dinner,' &c. — they sat, therefore, in squires, &c, 
 houses after dinner, including the women. 
 
 „ 57, 1. 6, ' I flwuld haue you' = find you. 
 
 ,, 61, 1. 1, fauour but' '= then you would be her that could persuade me; 
 but on p. 5 (To the Reader), the Author asks us here to insert 
 ' I could be glad of your fau,' &c. ; 1. 7, 'Lami[n\a '= was 
 probably meant to be printed ' Lamia.' So elsewhere. 
 
 ,, 63,11. 19-20, ' Table kindnes,' Sec. — see Introduction. 
 
 „ 64, 1. 2, 'OfallConceites'—see Introduction; 1. 19, 'fhy' [at dice or 
 cards]; last line, '.£«/'= only, and so elsewhere. 
 
 / 
 
82 Notes and Illustrations. 
 
 Page 65, 1. 13, 'farlee'— shows that 'parle' was then usually pronounced 
 'parley'; 1. 17, read 'to[o]'; 1. 23, 'little Table book' — an 
 example that Hamlet's 'tables' were the ordinary memo- 
 randum book usually carried. 
 
 „ 66, 1. 20, 'congey' — leave being taken with a low or ceremonious bow, 
 'conge' came, in English, to mean 'bow'; 1. 21, ' a fie for 
 Jhame '= a phrase for a harlot, or a loose jest, or double 
 entendre ? last line, ' Tit ' — ' Tits ' is given by Kersey (s.v. ) as 
 ■a. country word for 'small cattle,' whence its use in the text. 
 The sense is easily derived. Dialectically it is used for a nice 
 smart girl, but this cannot be its meaning here. 
 
 „ 67, 1. 8, 'unhappy'= ill or wicked; 1. 13, 'to' — either = to it or to[o]; 
 1. 21, 'makes a legge' = bow the knee. 
 
 „ 68, 1. 21, delete 'a.' 
 
 ,, 69,1. 4, 'firjl head' — see Introduction; 1. 10, 'Clubs,' &c. — game at 
 cards; 1. 16, 'in fnuffe' = in dudgeon; 1. 21, 'Cucker' = 
 cuckoo? 1. 22, '^y&-^//'=hawk of a base kind; 1. 27, 'beare 
 the Bob '= taunting jest or scon 7 ; 1. 31, ' common Jlore'= a 
 harlot, a receptacle for common use ; 1. 32, '/wad' — see note 
 on p. 56, 1. 14. 
 
 ,, 70, 1. 4, 'puflure'=a. painted woman; 1. 12, ' Parnell' — "a nickname 
 for any wanton woman" (Kersey, s.v.); 1. 28, ' ajlrut' — see 
 note on p. 28, 1. 6 ; 1. 29, 'all mens tables' = eating or mess 
 tables? 
 
 „ 71, 1. II, ' Cod/head' = noodle or ninny, French equivalent was Tete de 
 Boeuf. SeeCotgrave, s.v.; 1. 28, ' Minkes' — here seem = Tit. 
 See on p. 66, last line. 
 
 „ 72, 1. 8, 'a dead wound' = old and cicatrized wound; 1. 19, 'woes' — by 
 rhyme should be 'woe,' but contemporaneously common thus; 
 1. 2 (from bottom), 'away' — see note on p. 33, 1. 26. 
 
 „ 74, 1. 8 (from bottom), 'a damnable lew' — not used as shewing his 
 nationality, but as a term of contempt, as 'Sir Swadd' pre- 
 viously — a revelation of the anti-Jewish feeling then. 
 
 „ 76,1. 7, ' Merry goefory' = mixed tale of mirth and sorrow? Tidero ends 
 on 1. 5 from bottom. Then the Writer addresses his Readers. 
 
 A. B. G. 
 
 Printed by Charles Simms & Co., Manchester. 
 

 
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