^^jlIi^i^^S''il^W'^W^<W', 
 
Cornell University 
 Library 
 
 The original of this book is in 
 the Cornell University Library. 
 
 There are no known copyright restrictions in 
 the United States on the use of the text. 
 
 http://www.archive.org/details/cu31924029466095 
 
Cornell University Library 
 BX7795.U87 A3 
 
 Extracts from the letters of Elizabeth. 
 
 olin 
 
 3 1924 029 466 095 
 
EXTRACTS 
 
 FROM THE 
 
 LETTERS 
 
 OF 
 
 Elizabeth, Lucy, and Judith gssher, 
 
 LATE OP THE 
 
 CITY OF WATBEFOED, 
 
 PHILADELPHIA: 
 FOR SALE AT FRIENDS' BOOK STORE, 
 
 Nd. 304 A B H S I B E E T. 
 
 1871. 
 
Wm. H. Pile, Printer, 422 Walhut Street. 
 
PREFACE. 
 
 The following pages contain Extracts from 
 Letters written by three sisters, the descen- 
 dants of two ancient and honorable families, 
 whose rank in life had placed them in the gay 
 world, and furnished them with opportunities 
 of participating in many of its more refined 
 dissipations : but whilst young, and esteemed 
 accomplished, they were strengthened to 
 withdraw from these fascinating pleasures ; 
 the love of Christ having touched their hearts, 
 the love of this world was thereby stained in 
 their views. Thus yielding obedience to Him 
 who called thein to glory and virtue, they had 
 the eyes of their understandings enlightened 
 to behold the superior excellency there is in 
 
IV PREFACE. 
 
 the Truth, and were at seasons favored to 
 enjoy its enriching heavenly influence ; and 
 as they became further dedicated, could mea- 
 surably say with the Psalmist, in the feeling 
 language of the heart, " The Lord is my 
 rock and my fortress and my deliverer; my 
 God, my strength, in whom I will trust ; my 
 buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and 
 my high tower. For who is God save the 
 Lord ; or who is a rock save our God ? It is 
 God that girdeth me with strength, and mak- 
 eth my way perfect. He maketh my feet Hke 
 hind's feet, and setteth me on high places," 
 Some lines concerning a younger sister are 
 added at the conclusion of this volume. 
 
EXTRACTS FROM LETTERS, ETC. 
 
 Elizabeth, the eldest sister, died of con- 
 sumption at Bristol Hot Wells, in the early 
 part of the year 1796, at ahout twenty-four 
 years of age. 
 
 She was educated in the communion of the 
 Church of England ; but not satisfied with it, 
 she frequented some meetings of other Chris- 
 tian Societies, in the hope of finding that 
 instruction and comfort her soul greatly de- 
 sired. She was deprived of a very affection- 
 ate father at the age of seventeen. A few 
 years after, one of her sisters being ill in con- 
 sequence of a hurt, was ordered to Bath, 
 where her mother and three sisters accompa- 
 nied her, and staid the winter. During this 
 2* 
 
6 
 
 period Elizabeth went to Bristol Wells to 
 visit an aunt, with whom she afterwards resi- 
 ded, who was a rehgious person and had with- 
 drawn from gay life and a conspicuous rank 
 in which she was placed ; as also from the 
 established worship. She attended different 
 Dissenting meeting-houses; to one of these 
 Eliza accompanied her ; when those words 
 reached the witness in her mind, " Remem- 
 ber thy Creator in the days of thy youth," 
 &c. 
 
 At this time she wrote the first letter to 
 her mother at Bath, and went thither herself 
 afterward'; when the sweetness of her counte- 
 nance was remarkable ; she seemed a changed 
 creature, given up and united to Him, who 
 in adorable mercy had not only convinced, but 
 converted her. She was become, not through 
 John's elementary baptism of water, but by 
 the one only effectual baptism, that of the 
 Holy Gost and of fire, not in words but in 
 truth a child of God, and an inheritor of the 
 kingdom of God. When her family returned 
 
to , she desired she might remain at 
 
 the Wells with her aunt, which seemed ex- 
 traordinary, as a short separation was usual- 
 ly trjdng to her ; but she expressed a fear of 
 returniag to her gay acquaintance, whilst in 
 the infancy of rehgious experience, lest 
 through weakness and instability, she might 
 be tried beyond her power of resistance, and 
 so lose an immortal inheritance. As soon as 
 her heart was convinced that her former 
 dress was contrary to Gospel simplicity, she 
 put away all the vain and superfluous parts 
 of it, requesting she might never be pained 
 by seeing them. She remained in England 
 about two years, growing in grace and in the 
 favor of the Lord. 
 
 A neglected cold fell on her lungs ; her 
 mother and sister Lucy hastened to her, 
 and, about two months after were witnesses 
 to her close. A few days before her depar- 
 ture, when she appeared to be asleep, her 
 mother remarked to her sister, that she con- 
 sidered it a favor that such a covering of 
 
8 
 
 peace was granted thein under the prospect 
 of losing such a precious and beloved friend, 
 when Elizabeth, raising herself, said in a 
 lively manner, "Peace, Virtue, Peace is 
 all thy own !" Just as the spirit quitted 
 its enfeebled tenement, Lucy was sitting by 
 her bedside, and the curtain being drawn 
 between them, she was not sensible the 
 change was so near, but was impressed 
 with this language which she thought she 
 should then have uttered, but through diffi- 
 dence withheld it, " Open ye the everlasting 
 gates, and let the righteous enter in."* 
 
 * See Isaiah 26 : 2. 
 
LETTER I. 
 
 TO HBK MOTHER. 
 
 1794. 
 
 And now my dear mother, I want to 
 unburden my soul to you, if I may so ex- 
 press myself, who know as well as I, that 
 the ways of the world are not right, and 
 will neither make us easy here, nor happy 
 hereafter ; but as to this you can better 
 teach me. What I have to say is, I am 
 determined (let the world say what it will) 
 to live according to the dictates of my con- 
 science, and as one who knows not the mo- 
 ment of death. Do not, my dear mother, 
 by my writing more seriously than usual, 
 think I am one bit better: indeed I am 
 not ; I only see how long I have been upon 
 the brink of ruin, and wish for that content 
 
10 
 
 and happiness of mind -which. I now believe 
 can only be found in religion. 
 
 I know if it please God to keep me in the 
 state of mind I am now in, I shall enjoy 
 more real happiness by avoiding every place 
 that wUl tend to make me forget God. I 
 see now that I have lived to myself; that 
 I have been very wrong; that if I die as I 
 am, I must inevitably perish. May He, 
 who alone can, make your Eliza what you 
 would wish her to be, and what she ought 
 to be! 
 
 LETTER II. 
 
 TO HEB MOTHER. 
 
 1794. 
 
 I AM sorry to hear you are going to , 
 
 where, it grieves me when I think they 
 have so much of the form, without any of 
 the power and inward delight, which reli- 
 gion gives the soul that resolutely deter- 
 mines to seek the Lord until He is found ; 
 
11 
 
 as they that seek him will find him. He 
 waits to be gracious. When I think, my 
 dear mother, how long He was calling me 
 before I answered, my heart is all grati- 
 tude; I am astonished at his persevering 
 goodness, that He did not leave my heart 
 hard, as He has done others, who would not 
 listen to that still small voice : for you know 
 we read in Scripture, that his " Spirit shall 
 not always strive with man." my dear 
 mother ! that you and I, and all that belong 
 to us, may be found in the narrow path 
 that leads to endless happiness, is the great- 
 est wish and constant prayer of, &c. 
 
 LETTER III. 
 
 TO HER MOTHER. 
 
 1794. 
 
 Many thanks to my dear mother for the 
 few lines concerning our best interest : you 
 say you wish to be as happy in your mind 
 
12 
 
 as I am. You will find it iti Christ, if you 
 press for it, if you can resolve to let go 
 every hold that keeps your soul fettered, as 
 it were, to this world, then read the promise 
 that is for you in the 6th chapter of the 2d 
 of Corinthians, the last two verses. We 
 must be convinced that we are ia error, 
 which is very clear in the Epistle of Paul 
 to the Romans, for by the law we cannot be 
 saved; let us then fly for refuge, and lay 
 hold of the hope set before us; even a 
 Saviour, who is more ready to answer us 
 than we are to desire <it. Come to him. He 
 bids you come boldly, and do not doubt in 
 the least, but that what He has promised, he 
 is able also to perform. 
 
 that He would enhghten our minds to 
 understand the Scriptures ! 
 
 You desire me to write on the subject 
 nearest my heart, for where our treasure is, 
 there will our hearts be also. You will not 
 then be surprised if the greatest wish I 
 have is, that all my dear friends would 
 
13 
 
 believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, that they 
 might be saved ; but particularly that you, 
 my dear mother, and the nearest to my 
 heart, would implore the Lord, and not let 
 him go until He bless you. Then you will 
 find his ways pleasantness, and all his paths 
 peace ; you will enjoy a happiness the world 
 cannot either give or take away, and you 
 will be of that number who are not ashamed 
 of the Gospel of Christ, and He will not be 
 ashamed to confess you before his Father, 
 and his holy angels. I am little able to 
 talk of the things of God ; but I trust that 
 He who c?^Si-, iiest teach you, jrill answer 
 your prayers and mine, ana ^x^aDie us both 
 to understand his divine truths. 
 
 LETTER IV. 
 
 TO HEE MOTHER. 
 
 1795. 
 
 You say you fear you feel too little con- 
 demnation for sin. Sin in ourselves, is our 
 
14 
 
 gi«atest burdeiQ,, tlie only obstacle that keeps 
 our souls at a distance from God ; but blessed 
 be his name, He first draws, encourages, and 
 enables the poor sinner to trust in his love, 
 sh^ws him that without him he can do no- 
 thing. But when he is accepted in the 
 Beloved, then he is brought into the light, 
 and sees feat it is black, as the Church ex- 
 presses herself in the Canticles, let chap. 
 '^ I am black, "but comely" [in Christ] ; black 
 for the Sun of Righteousness has risen on 
 me, and discovered to me what I am. Then 
 is Ae Saviour truly precious, the chief among 
 ten thousand, the altoffethpr Xos^y. If we 
 kaew" the tfflmers the Saviour is willing to 
 make of his love to us while in this body of 
 sin, we should be more anxious to press on 
 by fervent prayer, night and day. We love 
 to refresh our bodies when weary, but, Oh ! 
 how much more delightful, how truly satis- 
 fying, to bathe and refresh our souls in the 
 fountain of his love> the streams whetreof 
 make glad the whole city of God ! His love 
 
15 
 
 is infinite, unsearchable, an ocean without 
 bottom or shore. You say you wish to 
 know you are born again, and the next line 
 tells me that you are, by saying, that you 
 will be ever with that dear Lord that has 
 all your affections. I wonder how you 
 would explain those words ; for my part I 
 think it is being born again, born of the 
 Spirit, when we can from our hearts say, He 
 has all our affections, "Jesus' love has broke 
 my heart." The natural man is enmity 
 against God. I once saw no comeliness in 
 him, but now all is vanity but Christ. We 
 can say, " What is all the earth to me if 
 stranger to thy peace ?" The knowledge of 
 these truths only, is not enough ; it is only 
 so far as they are felt a,nd experienced in 
 the mind of a believer, that they communi- 
 cate peace and happiness to the soul. 
 
16 
 
 LETTER V. 
 
 TO HER MOTHEB. 
 
 1795. 
 
 The two dear girls' letters delighted me. 
 What a favor to have so many in a family 
 candidates for heaven ! Dear mother, you 
 and Lucy are wanting some strong earnest 
 that you are children of God ; think for a 
 moment that you love Him who has died for 
 you. Don't you depend entirely upon him ? 
 Eemember you love him because He first 
 loved you. Let us but beUeve, and we shall 
 find him precious. 
 
 LETTER VL 
 
 TO HEE MOTHEB. 
 
 1795. 
 
 Dear mother, what need have we to pray, 
 that we may be disengaged from this world, 
 and the nearest friends we have in it. If 
 
' 17 
 
 my mother, my aunt [then ill], and my 
 Lucy are taken from me, I have not a tie 
 besides. May my Lord resign me to his 
 will ! Of myself I can do nothing, I must 
 trust him ; and indeed at this time of trial 
 He sweetly supports and comforts my heart 
 and spirit with his love. All these things 
 must pass away, but who or what can sepa- 
 rate from Him whom our souls love ? My 
 aunt is a little better this day than yester- 
 day ; who knows but our compassionate 
 Lord will again restore her health most va- 
 luable to those who know her best. 
 
 LETTER VIL 
 
 TO HER MOTHEK. 
 
 1795. 
 
 My dear mother, I have shed tears of joy 
 over your letter ; may our hearts be filled 
 with gratitude and thankfulness, that while 
 
 we were living without hope, and without 
 
 2* 
 
18 
 
 God in the world we are brought into the 
 light of the glorious Gospel, and called to 
 partake of the blessings our Saviour has pur- 
 chased for us ; and that, it is evident, not for 
 the smallest good in us, because his pure 
 eyes see our manifold infirmities, but of his 
 infinite mercy; and a kingdom has been 
 prepared for such as resist not his power, 
 before the foundations of the world. My 
 dear mother, I do not think you are de- 
 ceived ; nothing but the love of Jesus can 
 spoil us for this world ; his love constraineth 
 us to follow him through evil as through 
 good report. He loved us before we loved 
 him, and can we doubt of his love one mo- 
 ment, when we think and read of his great 
 sufierings for your and my sins, and the sins 
 of all who are willing to be saved ? let 
 us try to get above this ensnaring world. 
 Our dear Lord will enable us through faith 
 to overcome it, if we perseveringly go on 
 trusting in him for strength, knowing only 
 guch as persevere to the end shall be saved. 
 
19 
 
 Indeed, I cannot see that this world has any 
 attractions for those who hve as always in 
 his sight, enjoying the smiles of his recon- 
 ciled countenance, and feasting on the boun- 
 ties of his love. I have learned that Jesus 
 loves we should tell him all our wants, and 
 He loves to supply them. what a privi- 
 lege ! we need only leave our petitions with 
 him, and trust in his promises ; but then we 
 must through his assistance conform our 
 Uves to his will, or it would be foolish to 
 expect a blessing. I desire to be entirely 
 moulded to his mind ; for I am his, and 
 nothing can separate unworthy me from his 
 love. And will my sweet Lucy and Judith 
 come and partake of that good part Mary 
 chose, which never can be taken away? 
 The very thought and hope delight me, 
 that when a few years are past, we shall all 
 be in the enjoyment of unutterable bliss. I 
 must leave room for my dear aunt to add a 
 line, with just leaving you one comfortable 
 thought, that if the world hate you, it hated 
 
20 
 
 our dear Lord first. He says, in Jolm, " Be- 
 cause I have chosen you out of the world," 
 &c., and left us an example that we should 
 follow his steps. 
 
 LETTER VIII. 
 
 TO HEE MOTHEB. 
 
 1795. 
 
 NoTHHiTG but grace will effectually turn 
 the heart; till then all is restraint. I wish 
 
 you would send to the WeUs. Oh that 
 
 his heart might be touched; at present he 
 cannot be happy. I think he would be a 
 burning and shining Hght. My dear mother, 
 I toust you will not be displeased that I 
 
 caution you against sending Judith to . 
 
 I know she is a sweet creature, and with 
 your example and instruction may be an ex- 
 cellent Christian ; but she is human nature 
 still, and I fear with those she will mix with, 
 these good impressions will soon be effaced ; 
 
21 
 
 in one night a tender plant may be lost by a 
 severe frost. Our dear Lord knowing our poor 
 weak nature well, prayed [taught us to pray] 
 tbat we might not be led into temptation. Oh 
 may He direct you and me in every step we 
 take, though ever so trifling ; may He also 
 continue to keep your mind peaceable and 
 happy ! The eJSect of being clothed in his 
 righteousness is quietness and assurance for- 
 ever. What a sweet passage ! " Mercy shall 
 compass him about." All your afflictions come- 
 through mercy. The Lord is a wall of fire 
 round about his people, a very present help iu 
 trouble. What a great comfort that we are 
 kept by the power of God through faith unto 
 salvation. If I was not an ungrateful creor 
 ture, I should make mention of the loving- 
 kindness of the Lord from day to day. He 
 directs, encourages, and instructs me with 
 his love, "He is altogether lovely:" He will 
 withhold nothing from you that may do you 
 ■ good if you ask it. May you enjoy commu- 
 nion with our dear Lord, which is the privi- 
 
22. 
 
 lege of all true believers^ and wHch. they 
 would not giye up for all a thousand worlds 
 could offer ; for surely heaven has more hap- 
 piness for a soul than earth. — In the 17th of 
 Jeremiah I read this morning the curse that 
 was to befall those that forsook God, was, 
 their names were written in the earth ; 
 that ours may be written in heaven. 
 
 LETTEE IX. 
 
 TO HEK SISTEB JtTDITH. 
 
 1795. 
 
 I WAS greatly delighted with my dear Ju- 
 dith's letter. You have found a precious 
 Saviour, the pearl of great price, and the an- 
 gels in heaven rejoice over you ; the Saviour 
 loves you with an everlasting love. He will 
 show you what is in your own heart, that 
 you may prize him more ; at least I find He 
 shows me every day my own nothingness, 
 that being emptied of self> I may look only 
 
23 
 
 to Christ for a full and free salvation. It is 
 not of works, lest any should boast ; but by 
 grace we are saved through faith, which is 
 the unmerited gift of God. There are un- 
 J^afcable riches treasured up in Christ for 
 us. G may we daily be enabled to come 
 boldly as dear children, and receive out of 
 his inexhaustible fulness of grace and love, 
 that we may grow up unto him in all things. 
 May He teach us how to live, think, act, and 
 speak for him who has done so much for us ! 
 
 My dear mother writes to me, is 
 
 coming : I expect him every moment. 
 my dear Judith, join with me in intreatiag 
 our dear Saviour to be his Saviour, and that 
 he may be one of those jewels which make 
 trp his crown ! I have time for no more, but 
 to commit you to his care, who has loved 
 you, and given himself for you. May He 
 direct you and keep you, giving you strength 
 for every trial; may his love prevent every 
 discouragement, and be an earnest to you of 
 future /glory, &g. 
 
24 
 
 LETTEE X. 
 
 TO HER MOTHKR. 
 
 1795. 
 
 I LOOK forward with, pleasure to seeing my 
 
 dear after so long an absence, thougli 
 
 I am sure I do not think he will be so pleased 
 with me. However, the Lord is on my side, 
 I will not fear. "Who knows, my dear mother, 
 but his coming here may be for the better ? 
 When I think what has been done for me, I 
 believe nothing is too hard for the Lord. 
 Our united petitions will be heard [if right] 
 by Him whose name is love, and who has no 
 pleasure in the spiritual death of any. I am 
 
 sorry for 's behavior, but we know it is 
 
 nothing new ; we have many to iutreat the 
 Lord for. You say you are thankful for 
 
 your Ulness at , therefore it is not right 
 
 I should be sorry, but trust the Lord will 
 restore your health of body, and keep your 
 soul in health. 
 
 I have been twice to see ; will not 
 
25 
 
 that do? They were very curious, but I 
 trust my dear Saviour will never suffer me 
 to be ashamed of him. They wondered I 
 did not go to balls ; [and asked] " Don't you 
 go to any parties ?" If you mean card par- 
 ties, I said, I do not at all approve of them, 
 but my aunt and I have very agreeable 
 parties amongst some of the most respect- 
 able people here. My dear mother, I know 
 very well (I should say I know a little) of 
 what you mean, when you speak of the cor- 
 ruption and ingratitude of the heart. I 
 will give you a hint of a dream I had the 
 night before last, which may be of use and 
 comforting. "Live out of yourself simply 
 by faith on Jesus Christ, laying your sins 
 and sorrows upon him " a few words but 
 very comprehensive. Let us then look to 
 him; it is only while we live upon Christ, 
 we live at all. Don't you find you cannot 
 mix with the people about you ? You can- 
 not drink muddy water and sweet together ; 
 it is precious to live near the Saviour: in 
 
2d 
 
 his' presetice Is fulness of jdy! Oh, wh6ti 
 ■v^in the time come whett We shall he in the 
 enjojTQent of him ; when we shall see him 
 face io face ! Then will our ctfp' be full, run^ 
 ning over. 
 
 LETTEE XI. 
 
 TO HEE MOTHEK. 
 
 1795. 
 
 I REJOICE that you are enabled to stem 
 the torrent of persecution, by and through 
 Jesus, who will [would] bring you, through 
 toiling and rowing, to land in his Father's 
 kingdom, beyond the reach of men and 
 devils, to enjoy himself, which must be 
 heaven indeed. Oh may He give us to -taste 
 more while here of his hidden manna ; that 
 continually receiving from his fulness, we 
 may have that which will cause us to glori- 
 fy him. I find my soul is dead indeed, -if 
 my Beloved withdraws ; or rather when the 
 curtain is drawn over my soul. 
 
27 
 
 " He is our life, our light, our love, 
 Our portion, and our all, 
 The cirde where my passions move 
 And centre of my soul." 
 
 You are the persons our Lord' has himself 
 pronounced blessed ; He bids you rejoice and 
 be exceeding glad. May we be vigilant to 
 serve our Master, and pray for them that 
 hate us ! I want nothing but what my 
 Jesus has to give, and He is always willing, ■ 
 and we might be always receiving, if un- 
 belief did not prevent us opening wide the 
 door of our hearts, that He might come in 
 and sup with us according to his promise. 
 I think He is teaching me more every day, 
 that there is nothing worth having but him- 
 self, nor enjoying, but as we receive in it 
 something of his love : don't you find it so ? 
 If we have him, we have more than tongue 
 can describe ; w« have sweet peace within, 
 that we enjoy by looking in faith through 
 our interceding Saviour to our loving 
 Father. What mere earthen vessels we 
 
28 
 
 are, empty and liable to be broken ! wliat 
 a blessing to see we are so, that we may 
 ask and receive, and be filled ; tbat we may 
 come up from this wilderness leaning on 
 our Beloved ! He will bold us up, and we 
 shall be safe. But I must stop and recol- 
 lect ; this subject of a soul's love would fill 
 my paper, and after all, I have said [but 
 little] : I must leave the subject to eternity; 
 we can't comprehend it, though to feel it is 
 heaven begun ! And does my sweet Lucy 
 give her idols to the moles and the bats ? 
 This is love again ! 
 
 Tell , if you have no objection, that 
 
 (from my soul) I wish she was what they 
 call a Quaker, but that most of all, I wish 
 her to be a Christian ; a despised follower 
 of a despised Saviour. I have acquitted 
 my conscience already, and tell her from 
 me, if she reject this Saviour, He will reject 
 her, and the horrible consequence no pen 
 can paint. Need I tell my beloved parent 
 my heart is united to hers forever in love by 
 the strongest bands. 
 
29 
 
 P. S. When you give my message give it 
 in love : there is great harmony in love. 
 
 LETTEE XII. 
 
 TO HEE MOTHER. 
 
 1795. 
 
 To those who find religion a real good, 
 retirement is delightful, as it enables us 
 without interruption to seek for peace, and 
 to enjoy the greatest privilege, — communion 
 with Him who condescends to be the friend 
 of sinners, and rejoices over them to do 
 them good. may we unfeignedly give 
 him all our hearts, and commit the keeping 
 of our souls to Him, who is able to keep 
 them until that great day, when our Saviour, 
 who manifests his love to us, will be our 
 Judge : He who now intercedes for us. — We 
 are reading an account of the numbers of 
 martyrs thad died in the flames in Mary's 
 reign, all rejoicing they were counted wor- 
 thy to suffer for the truth ; Let this encojir- 
 3* 
 
30 
 
 age us, my dear mother, not to mind what 
 the world may say. Those will one day be 
 ashamed that falsely accuse your good con- 
 versation in Christ ; and remember for your 
 comfort, your light afflictions, which are but 
 for a moment, work for you an eternal 
 weight of glory. My two sweet sisters are 
 afraid of the temptations of the world ; and 
 since I have set them the example of mix- 
 ing in it, it is but fair to tell them, I never 
 knew happiness in the pleasures of it ; they 
 are toilsome and unsatisfying. Assure them 
 with my love, were I to begin the world 
 again, I would seek to walk in wisdom's 
 ways ; they are ways of pleasantness and all 
 her paths are peace. 
 
 LETTER XIII. 
 
 TO HEK MOTHEB. 
 
 1795. 
 
 When we think on what a slender thread 
 life hangs, not to have an interest in Christ 
 
31 
 
 is most awful ! To you wlio believe He is 
 precious, these are sweet words, " Christ in 
 you the hope of glory." for a stronger 
 faith to rest entirely on his unchangeable 
 love, an abiding sense of which would 
 sweeten every cross and create a heaven 
 within. 
 
 LETTER XIV. 
 
 TO HEB MOTHEB. 
 
 1795. 
 
 I HOPE you will inform me of your health, 
 and the state of your soul, which I doubt 
 not is soaring on the wings of love, and 
 every day getting nearer and nearer in 
 sweet communion with the Friend of sin- 
 ners ; those are the most delightful moments 
 of one's life. By Lucy's and Judith's let- 
 ters they seem indeed on the road, as they 
 desire those evidences, which, if they perse- 
 vere, they will certainly receive. From ex- 
 perience I know they will have the inward 
 
32 
 
 witness that they are children of God, and 
 of course, all things will work together for 
 good, both here and hereafter. Blessed in- 
 deed are the heirs of God, joint heirs with 
 Christ ! How different from the world in pur- 
 suit of happiness, who try many different 
 ways for present enjoyment and recreations, 
 and still are dissatisfied, finding only disap- 
 pointment; while Christians have all one 
 motive, one joy, one Saviour, and I would 
 wish, one miad; all pressing towards the 
 same mark, our dear Lord going all the way 
 with them. Oh may we continue steadfast 
 in the faith, and never be discouraged by the 
 insinuations of the enemy, who would work 
 with our poor weak hearts ; but we have 
 this delightful promise, "Resist the devil 
 and he will flee." 
 
 LETTER XV. 
 
 TO HEK MOTHER. 
 
 1795. 
 
 When I think of what darkness and un- 
 
33 
 
 belief there is over the world, it fills me with 
 
 horror. I tremble to think of , who 
 
 do not see their want of a Saviour, and the 
 wicked one will keep them bhnd as long as 
 he can. my dear mother! what reason 
 have you and I to be thankful that we see 
 we cannot save ourselves ; that our righte- 
 ousness is but as filthy rags. What a bless- 
 ing to see the vUeness of our hearts ; that 
 they are deceitful above all things, when we 
 know the returning sinner will be accepted 
 and pardoned for Christ's sake. I often 
 think, if those that are in the midst of plea- 
 sure and dissipation, did but for a moment 
 feel the joy of a believer, with what aston- 
 ishment would they look back on their past 
 choice ! I do firmly believe they would go 
 and sell all that they had, and purchase that 
 pearl of great price. 
 
u 
 
 LETTEE XVI. 
 
 TO HER MOTHBK AXD SISTER LUCY. 
 
 1795. 
 
 Thanks to my dear mother and Lucy for 
 their joint letter; indeed I want words to 
 express the true delight I felt on reading it. 
 Is it not some of that love which the mem- 
 bers of Jesus must feel for each other ? He 
 is all love, and the sap which belongs to the 
 Vine, suffuses through all the branches. As 
 many as are led by the Spirit of God, they 
 are the sons of God, and sweet teaching it 
 is ; we love what He loves, and hate what 
 He hates, so that we know the meaning of 
 those words, he that is joined to the Lord 
 in one spirit, he has, though in a lesser de- 
 gree, the mind of Christ. This month re- 
 minds me of the happy moments when I 
 began to live. When we reflect what crea- 
 tures we are by nature, divested of all good, 
 and prone to evil continually, every moment 
 adding sin to sin, until there is a list against 
 
uSj whick nothing but the blood of Jesus 
 himself could do away, that He not only 
 freely pardons us, but takes and carries us in 
 his bosom, and gives us all things in himself; 
 clothes us in white, and gives us to live upon 
 himself, food convenient for us, and living 
 waters, so that we do not thirst for perishing 
 things ; when we consider that our hearts 
 are drawn above, where we shall be in a few 
 years, it is enough to sink us into nothing 
 but love before him. I have been much 
 afiiicted for months with pains in my jaw, 
 but was much supported, as you are, by the 
 presence of Him our souls love, and we shall 
 have this peace while our minds are stayed 
 upon him. What poor bodies we have ; Oh 
 may our souls get more life, then we shall 
 think less of the body's death. My dear 
 Lucy's letter quite warmed my heart, and 
 truly filled me with joy; nothing indeed 
 but the power of God could change our 
 hearts. May He enable us to persevere, un- 
 til we receive the end of our faith, which is 
 
36 
 
 the salvation of our souls. Meditating on 
 future enjoyments greatly alleviates present 
 distress. Thought persecutions for the pre- 
 sent are grievous, yet they yield the peace- 
 able fruits of righteousness to you who are 
 exercised thereby : and though "the bud 
 may have a bitter taste, yet sweet will be 
 the flower," only let us follow on to know 
 the Lord. My dear mother, may the Lord 
 return all your love to me, unworthy me, 
 into your own bosom. He loves you better 
 than I can, and I am happy in believing you 
 are in his hands, who will keep you as the 
 apple of his eye. Farewell, my dear beloved 
 parent, and my sweet Lucy, I bear you on 
 my heart before my dear Eedeemer; but 
 what is better. He bears your name himself 
 before the throne. Yours in the sweet bonds 
 of Jesus. 
 
37 
 
 LETTER XVII. 
 
 TO HER MOTHER. 
 
 1795. 
 
 I AM obliged to my dear Lucy for her ele- 
 gant work; may her heart and ours be 
 stamped with the image of Jesus, as the 
 paper is pricked into an Edwin and Ange- 
 lina. Our hearts were as much a blank to 
 any good impression, as that paper was, but 
 our Artist is divine, both God and man ! 
 Oh may He keep you, my dear mother, from 
 error, and give you the teachings of his 
 good Spirit, which always testifies of Jesus 
 our Advocate, in whom dwells all the ful- 
 ness of the Godhead bodily ; and though it 
 is most dehghtful to walk in the comforts 
 of the Holy Spirit, yet we must not forget 
 from whence they flow; that they have 
 been dearly purchased for us by Christ ; are 
 the effects of the Father's love given us 
 through the agency of his blessed Spirit. 
 
 Oh ! what manner of love is this that our 
 4 
 
38 
 
 God has taken upon him in this wonderful 
 manner to save poor sinners, and that He 
 stands engaged in covenant for their good 
 by these three offices, of Father, Saviour, 
 and Comforter ! may the Spirit of truth 
 lead you into all truth ! Jesus says, "I am 
 the way, the truth, and the life." I am 
 sorry for the account of your poor health : 
 what can be dearer to my heart than my 
 dear mother's spiritual and temporal health? 
 O may He, who alone is dearer, give you 
 both, and if best for you He will give you 
 health : all his dealings with you are in 
 love infinite, unchangeable. May Hq give 
 you and me, in the darkest hour of his pro- 
 vidence, to see it so, that we may like 
 Samson get honey out of the lion's carcase. 
 
 LETTER XVIII. 
 
 TO HER MOTHEB, 
 
 1795. 
 
 My dear mother, I am not prejudiced 
 against any sectj indeed I am not. My 
 
39 
 
 Lord has enabled me to love all that have 
 the mark of the Lamb on their foreheads ; 
 all that love the Lord Jesus, must have 
 been first loved by him. And shall I not 
 love those whom Jesus loves, brethren and 
 sisters for whom Christ died, all one happy 
 family whose names are written on Ema- 
 nuel's bosom ? yes ! my heart warms to 
 them, and would bring others, if I could, to 
 join them. Human means, are only m.eans; 
 but He says, if ye love me, keep my com- 
 mandments ; we show our faith by our 
 works : the very thought is sufl&cient to 
 make me blush, I do so little. Your letters 
 show the sweet frame of your mind, and 
 my dear Saviour has promised to keep him 
 in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on 
 him, and I trust He will bring you to his 
 banqueting house, and his banner over you 
 will be love. 
 
 Tell my dear Lucy, I am obliged for her 
 elegant work. I have seen several pieces 
 from Italy, and I think hers preferable. I 
 
'40 
 
 send her sometliiiig, though in a different 
 way, but before she looks at it, I request 
 her to read a few lines I send with it. The 
 worst of these amusements is, they engage 
 too much time and thought; whUe our 
 hands are at work, we should endeavor, at 
 the same time, to delight our hearts in 
 thinking of the love that bought us. 
 
 LETTEE XIX, 
 
 TO HEE MOTHEK. 
 
 March 31, 1795. 
 
 What soul can be truly happy until in 
 the perfect enjojrment of its Saviour ? I 
 have no idea of anything here deserving 
 the name of happiness but what faith real- 
 izes; only so far as we live upon the ful- 
 ness of Jesus we live at all. For don't we 
 find there is a spiritual, as well as natural 
 life? All have not the former, only be- 
 lievers in Jesus ; these know what the hid- 
 
41 
 
 den manna means, which is the life of their 
 souls, this tree of life, of which they eat and 
 live forever. Don't think me prejudiced, 
 my dear mother, for or against any sect; 
 my heart does feel a sjrmpathy to all of 
 every denomination that love the Lord 
 Jesus ; those that live nearest him, live 
 nearest the truth. Some of all professions 
 are apt to get into a cold, formal state : 
 there is nothing I so much dread for myself 
 as this : may our dear Lord keep us alive 
 and zealous for his glory, having our lamps 
 lighted ; and to his dear Name be all the 
 glory and praise ! 
 
 My beloved mother, you cannot think 
 what sweet subjects you are at times of my 
 thankfulness, that you and those nearest 
 my heart are heirs of glory ; and shall I too 
 be admitted ? What mercy, what unutter- 
 able love ! Oh how many sweet creatures 
 there are that have not the mark of the 
 Lamb : may we be humble and thankful. I 
 
 often think of dear : you remember he 
 
 4* 
 
42 
 
 always- was my favorite, perhaps from his 
 name and Hkeness to one I love, and whose 
 memory will ever be dear to me* Fare- 
 well; may you have the presence of 'Jesus 
 to support and comfort you in all your trials 
 and bitter cups, my dear mother, whom I 
 love in the truth. 
 
 LETTEE XX. 
 
 TO HER MOTHER. 
 
 May 30, 1796. 
 
 My ever dear mother has already received 
 accounts of my illness ; the means used have 
 been instrumental to my recovery, through 
 Him who knows how unj&t my soul is for 
 glory. may He hasten to prepare me for 
 himself! Nothing short of the enjoyment 
 of God can satisfy, when He in infinite con- 
 descension, shows even a little of the love 
 He feels for poor worms. Though He afflicts, 
 
 * Alluding to her father. 
 
43 
 
 yet still He loves the same; it is because He 
 loves He chastens : my sickness has been so 
 sweetened, and his presence so comforted 
 me, as brought to my mind a verse, I believe 
 in Hosea, where it is said, " I will allure her 
 and bring her into the wilderness, and speak 
 comfortable to her" [to the Church], after 
 mentioning her great sins. Oh what a God 
 full of love is our God ! the more fully we 
 believe in his love, the greater is our hap- 
 piness. 
 
 My cough is indifferent. It will be a com- 
 fort to hear from my dear mother ; I cannot 
 think of you but my heart glows with love 
 for you, and longing desires to see you ; but 
 this, together with yourself, and everything 
 else that relates to us, I commit to Him who 
 alone does all things well. It is with diffi- 
 culty I have written. May every blessing 
 from our loving Jesus be with you all. 
 
44 
 
 LETTER XXI. 
 
 TO HBK MOTHEK. 
 
 June 16, 1796. 
 
 Mt darling mother, my last not being 
 satisfactory as to my health, I sit down 
 quietly to tell you, I am better this day 
 than yesterday. I am very changeable, not 
 like my precious Lord, whose love continues 
 every day alike. I cannot say, from my 
 feelings or my physicians' authority, that I 
 am getting better, though some days more 
 comfortable. My dear mother, if you love 
 me, don't be grieved for my illness. Surely 
 you don't love my body better than my soul; 
 the latter has been taught many, sweet les- 
 sons by it ; it is only on your account I suf- 
 fer any anxiety, being the means of adding 
 sorrow to your sorrow. Besides you, and 
 my dear family, I have not a tie to anything 
 below. Though I don't know that I am in 
 present danger, yet I cannot conceal the 
 pleasure my soul feels in knowing I am ia 
 
45 
 
 my Saviour's hands to do what He -will with 
 me. If we but meditate on future joys, all 
 of which flow from the infinite fulness of 
 Jesus filling the soul, and increasing it every 
 moment with delight, such as we cannot 
 fully know till we are in the enjoyment of 
 it, who would wish to stay ? 
 
 " May we have patience here to wait, 
 Till Jesus us to bliss translate." 
 
 I own I would wish you to come here if you 
 would not be distressed by it : surely it is a 
 selfish wish to see her who lies nearest my 
 heart of all earthly attachments, but I now 
 give up the hope, preferring your comfort to 
 everything in this world. My dear mother, 
 mind, we are all in His hands, who will make 
 us more than conquerors through him that 
 loved us. 
 
EITRACTS FROM LETTERS, ETC. 
 
 LuOY, the second sister, was taken ill of a 
 consumption, and died in the latter part of 
 the year 1797, aged about twenty-one years. 
 
 She was very pleasing in her person, of a 
 meek spirit, and reUgiously thoughtful, yet 
 partook of what she, at that time, deemed 
 innocent recreations, and in the way she was 
 educated, what were esteemed polite accom- 
 plishments, such as music, dancing, painting, 
 &c. But as she became convinced, that to 
 purchase the Pearl of great price we must 
 sell all that is vain and superfluous, all that 
 divides and separates the heart from the one 
 great and only good, she relinquished these 
 inferior pursuits, which faded as shadows at 
 
47 
 
 the rising of the Sun of Righteousness in 
 her soul. 
 
 She was dissatisfied with the forms and 
 repetitions of the established worship, and 
 longed for right direction to worship God in 
 spirit and in truth. 
 
 About this time she became acquainted with 
 some of the Society of Friends, and with her 
 mother, accompanied them to their meeting; 
 where, in silence, that is, outward silence, 
 she was convinced that Friends were united 
 in the one precious principle [the Spirit of 
 the Lord Jesus], and these words were intel- 
 ligibly sounded in her spiritual ear "Join 
 thyself to these people." This divine inti- 
 mation she readUy obeyed, and submitting 
 to the yoke of Christ, she cheerfully endured 
 the refining power that was to judge every- 
 thing her dear Lord's controversy was with, 
 and nail it to the cross. At this time 
 these words were frequently impressed on 
 her mind, " The valley of Achor shall be 
 the door of hope." Not remembering such 
 
48 
 
 words, she took lier Bible and opened it at 
 that passage, and found it was there the Bar 
 bylonish garment was to be burned. She 
 consulted not with flesh and blood, but set 
 fire to aU her fine clothes, a great part of 
 which were her own work, and beautiful, 
 besides others that had been bought; she left 
 none of gold, or silver, or costly array, mak- 
 ing of them a fire sufficient to warm water 
 to wash her hands. The peace of her coun- 
 tenance afterwards evinced, that the sacrifice 
 required was accepted, and the outward pu- 
 rification seemed emblematical of the purity 
 of her mind. She had strong and lively 
 feelings, and though young in years was 
 deeply taught in Christ's school and endured 
 uncommon baptisms tending to her further 
 refinement. 
 
 Her sister Judith took notes concerning 
 her after she had taken to her bed of the ill- 
 ness of which she died, from which the fol- 
 lowing is extracted : 
 
 " She had been for some time deeply ex- 
 
49 
 
 ercised, but at this season her mind seemed 
 to be sweetly relieved, and covered with di- 
 vine love, which flowed to all around her. 
 She called me to her, and said, the way be- 
 fore her was dark, and she knew not whe- 
 ther to look for life or death, but was resigned 
 to the event, saying, she believed if it was 
 the Lord's will to take her, it would be to 
 himself; expressing in much tenderness of 
 spirit, that if her life was prolonged, she 
 hoped it would be entirely dedicated to His 
 service, for what else was worth living for ? 
 With great earnestness she expressed her 
 desires that I should be faithful unto the 
 Lord, and not withhold anything He may 
 require; likewise that she had often felt 
 much interested for me, and had received 
 this comfortable impression, that the Lord 
 would give me change of raiment. One even- 
 ing being so ill as to think she could not hold 
 out long, and getting me to sit by the side of 
 her bed, she gave some directions about the 
 
 disposal of her property, and with her love 
 5 
 
50 
 
 to be given to lier sister Susan and her dear 
 brotber Jobn, sbe desired (as near as I can 
 recollect) tbey would keep much inward to 
 the Lord, who would direct them. I cannot 
 remember all she said at that time, being 
 much tendered and enlarged by the over- 
 flowings of divine love. She expressed 
 great resignation to whatsoever was the 
 Lord's holy will concerning her ; adding, 
 ' Though He slay me, yet will I trust in 
 him,' and said she thought she felt resigna- 
 tion in me also, in which I was wonderfully 
 supported about thiat time, for though I did 
 not think I could love her better, yet such 
 wer^my feelings, that had the Lord de- 
 manded it, it seemed as if I could part with 
 all that was near and dear to me in this Hfe, 
 in acquiescence to his will. 
 
 "A few days before dear Lucy's depar- 
 ture, she called to her mother and said, she 
 remembered in a particular manner, what a 
 powerfal impression the last testimony of 
 Mary Ridgway, that she heard at meeting, 
 
51 
 
 had on her mind; that it seemed to have 
 passed away, but then revived ; and she felt 
 easy to repeat so much, ' Ye are they that 
 have been with me in my trials and in my 
 temptations, and for you my Father has pre- 
 pared a crown of glory, that fadeth not 
 away.' At another time she said, ' Oh ! 
 what an awful thing to appear before a God 
 of purity !' Her bodily pains seemed exces- 
 sive, yet she never complained, but with a 
 sweet countenance, often said, ' It is not of 
 any consequence ; if it does the work of puri- 
 fication it is a favor.' 
 
 " She said she remembered at the only 
 meeting for discipline that she sat, an epis- 
 tle was read, where, after much encourage- 
 ment was expressed to the young, there was 
 added a desire for those who should be cut 
 off in their bloom, that their conduct and 
 example might be such that would leave a 
 good savor behind ; and at the same time 
 she believed she was of the number that 
 was to be removed, and did ardently crave 
 
52 
 
 that the latter part might be applicable to 
 herself." 
 
 She was admitted into membership with 
 the Society of Friends about a year and a 
 half before her dece9,se. 
 
LETTER I. 
 
 TO HEB SISTER ELIZABETH. 
 
 April 20, 1795. 
 
 Since I wrote last to my dear Eliza, we 
 have enjoyed a delightful season of spiritual 
 refreshment, in which the great Shepherd 
 has been pleased to send us. pastors after his 
 own heart, who have rightly divided unto 
 us the words of life, and administered to us 
 freely what they had freely received from 
 him, according to our several cases and ne- 
 cessities. May we be totally devoted and 
 given up to him, and count nothing too dear 
 to part with for his sake, who remembered 
 us in our low estate, and has called us out 
 of darkness into his marvellous light, and 
 has guided our feet into the paths of true 
 
 peace ! You will, I fear, think those miais- 
 *5 
 
54 
 
 ters were informed of our situations, and 
 spoke from outward knowledge, but be as- 
 sured it was not the case ; no person could 
 tell tbem our thoughts. Oh no, they have 
 their knowledge the same way that Peter 
 knew that Jesus was the Christ, for which 
 our Lord pronounced him blessed in these 
 words : " Biessed art thou, Simon Barjona, 
 for Jlesh and Hood hath not revealed this 
 unto thee, but my Father who is in heaven, 
 for upon this rock (Christ revealed) will I 
 build my church, and the gates of hell shall 
 not prevail against it." Paul also in his 
 first Epistle to the Galatians fully shows, 
 that the Gospel which he preached he re- 
 ceived not of man, nor was he taught but by 
 the revelation of the Lord Jesus. Surely he 
 could not have meant the outward appeariag 
 of the Lord Jesus by the way ; that con- 
 verted him from the errors in which he then 
 was, and opened his eyes and his heart to 
 receive and see him in his far more glorious 
 appearance, even that true Light that en- 
 
55 
 
 lighteneth every man. This glorious privi- 
 lege is not confined to apostles or ministers, 
 but He vouchsafes to teach all his depending 
 children, who come to his school with hearts 
 emptied of self and self-righteousness, and 
 under the humbling feehng, that without 
 him they can do nothing ; and therefore 
 give themselves up into his forming hand, 
 to be made either vessels of honor, or dis- 
 honor, in his holy house ; so that He will but 
 sanctify them for the Master's use. 
 
 Oh may we not shrink, my dear Eliza, but 
 follow the Captain of our salvation, who 
 was made perfect through sufferings ; who 
 though He thought it no robbery to be 
 equal with God, yet took upon him the 
 form of a servant, and became of no repu- 
 tation, and humbled himself unto death, 
 even the death of the cross ! May I, the 
 least and most unworthy of all his crea- 
 tures, who am not meet to be called a dis- 
 ciple, take up my cross daily, and deny my- 
 self everything that I feel contrary to the 
 
56 
 
 mind of my gracious Master. I do believe 
 the cross is mucli harder to be borne m 
 little things (if they can be called so, when 
 they separate us from Him who is the chief 
 among ten thousand and altogether lovely) 
 than in those things which are evidently 
 wrong to all sorts of Christians. It is 
 dreadful to our natural part to appear sin- 
 gular in dress and language, yet I believe 
 it must be your Lucy's lot if she follow the 
 path pointed out to her, as I believe it is 
 required of me to bear a testimony for truth, 
 and to magnify my Saviour openly. Not 
 that anything I can do of myself can be 
 acceptable in his sight ; for if I should do 
 all, I should be but an unprofitable servant : 
 but I trust He will work in me both to will 
 and to do, and to him shall be the honor 
 and the praise forever. It grieves me to 
 hear of my aunt's indisposition : were you 
 not with her I know not what she would 
 do ; you must certainly be a great comfort 
 to her in her present situajtion, stretched 
 
57 
 
 upon a bed of languishing ; but I trust the 
 great Physician who has laid her on it, 
 stands by her and gives her the oil of joy 
 for mourning, and the garments of praise 
 for the spirit of heaviness ; and that the pre- 
 sent dispensation will tend to brighten her, 
 and that she will come forth as gold seven 
 times tried, and as a comer-stone polished 
 after the similitude of a palace : assure her 
 of my most affectionate duty and love. 
 
 My grandfather and grandmother are re- 
 conciled to our going to meeting and leav- 
 ing the public worship, and appear as affec- 
 tionate a§ ever to us ; so fully has that pro- 
 mise been fulfilled which has been often 
 sealed to me, " I will make darkness light 
 before thee, and crooked things straight; 
 these things will I do unto thee, and not 
 forsake thee." 
 
 To Him who has hitherto preserved you, 
 my dearest Eliza, I recommend you : may 
 He still watch over you for good, and may 
 you, under his divine care, grow in grace, 
 
58 
 
 and go on unto perfection, until you attain 
 unto the measure of the stature of the ful- 
 ness of Christ, and be daily weaned from 
 instruments, till He shall be your all in all, 
 is the breathing of my soul for you, &c. 
 
 LETTER 11. 
 
 TO HER SISTER JXTDITH. 
 
 August 28, 1795. 
 
 I THANK you, my dearest Judith, for your 
 best of wishes : indeed it is impious to 
 doubt. What did our beloved Lord die for, 
 if not to save us from sin ? which is the 
 only thing that can separate us from those 
 blessings which eye hath not seen nor ear 
 heard, &c. What a happy day wUl that be 
 when this body of sin shall be destroyed, 
 and we shall be admitted into the glorious 
 liberty of the 'children of God ! I trust I 
 shall be delivered in his own good time 
 from all my enemies, and that I reckon my 
 
59 
 
 greatest. There is nothing too hard for the 
 Lord ; we cannot ask too much or more than 
 He is willing to give : let us then come 
 boldly to the throne of grace, that we may 
 obtain mercy and find grace to help in time 
 of need ; and may you and I, my love, be 
 among those happy few who shall unto all 
 eternity follow the Lamb whithersoever He 
 goeth ; and shall wash our robes and make 
 them white in his most precious blood. 
 
 LETTER IIL 
 
 TO HEB SISTER JUDITH. 
 
 1795. 
 
 You are not as happy as I could wish in 
 your present situation, but you must try to 
 reconcile yourself to a short separation, 
 knowing that you have the best of parents 
 always with you, who has promised that 
 you shall not be tempted above what you 
 are able to bear, but will, with the temptar 
 
60 
 
 tion, make a way to escape, that you may 
 be able to bear it. Another delightful idea 
 is, that " By grace ye are saved, and that 
 not of yourselves : it is the gift of God :" so 
 you see we are kept by the power of God, 
 through faith unto salvation. Have you 
 not encouragement to submit (as I am sure 
 you do) your temporal, as well as your 
 everlasting happiness into the hands of Him 
 who careth for you ? 
 
 LETTER IV. 
 
 TO HEB SISTEB JUDITH. 
 
 Sept. 9, 1795. 
 
 What a happy spirit that is which dear 
 Eliza was directed to in a dream ! " to look 
 simply to our beloved Lord in everything, 
 not to ourselves or our own works ;" if we 
 fall, to lean upon him to rise again, knowing 
 and depending on his strength : though we 
 fall we shall not be utterly cast down, for the 
 Lord upholdeth us with his hand. 
 
61 
 
 What wonderful kindness has He be- 
 stowed upon me, blessed be his name, that 
 my many falls and yieldings to temptations 
 did not provoke him to cast me oflf forever, 
 but has brought me here, where, without a 
 church, without a minister, or ordinances,* 
 I have felt more peace than ever I did before. 
 It would be the highest ingratitude not to 
 acknowledge the debt I owe him the Giver 
 of every good and perfect gift. May I, in 
 the whole course of my life, be it long or 
 short, live to his glory, and never grieve his 
 Holy Spirit, as I have done continually ! 
 What a shocking thing to see so many run- 
 ning on in the broad way to everlasting de- 
 struction, who at the same time think them- 
 selves perfectly safe, expectiag the mercy of 
 God, without considering we can build on no 
 other foundation than that which is already 
 laid, even his Son Jesus Christ. Have you 
 read Cowper's Poems ? they are written in 
 
 * Alluding to the Church as by law established. 
 
62 
 
 the spirit of Christianity; I cannot forbear 
 giving you a sample of them : — 
 
 " A soul redeemed demands a life of praise, 
 Hence the complexion of his future days ; 
 Hence a demeanor ioly and unspedced, 
 And the world's hatred as its .sure. effect." 
 
 LETTER V. 
 
 TO HER SISTEK JUDITH. 
 
 Sept. -25th, 1795. 
 
 OtTR dear expects soon to sail 
 
 for Gibraltar. In his way through Bristol 
 he spent a little time with Eliza, who took 
 him to hear a Gospel minster, who I have 
 no doubt said something adapted to his Btate. 
 Who knows when it may occur to his mind 
 with double force ? And though the seed 
 may be for a short time hid, and, as it were, 
 a grain of mustard seed, it may yet take 
 the deeper root, and bring forth the more 
 fruit, to the glory of our dear Saviour, who 
 
63 
 
 came not to call the righteous, but sinners 
 to repentance. And should we not be the 
 most ungrateful creatures in the world, did 
 we not love and delight to serve our dear 
 Lord, who has been so kind' as to call us 
 when we were rebels and enemies ? To 
 call us to what? To be heirs of God and 
 joint heirs with Christ ! and when called by 
 himj why not follow him through evil, as 
 through good report ? Oh that we may never 
 draw back, or be of that unhappy number in 
 whom He has no pleasure ! 
 
 LETTER VL 
 
 TO HER SISTEE JUDITH. 
 
 1795. 
 
 I OONGRATUXATE my beloved Judith upon 
 
 her safe arrival at , and trust the 
 
 journey and change of air will be of use to 
 you. Bodily exercise profitieth little, but 
 godliness is profitable for all things, having 
 the' promise of this lif& and that which is to 
 
64 
 
 come. I am more and more convinced 
 every day, that all the illness I suffered at 
 Bath, and last winter, was through divtae 
 mercy to keep me from the vain and giddy 
 world f and though I did not feel much at- 
 tachment, yet I was ashamed to take up the 
 cross, and dare to be siagular ; but glory to 
 Him who has in some degree enabled me to 
 come forth from the wilderness, leankig upon 
 my Beloved. Oh may I never again doubt, 
 but cast all my care upon Him who careth 
 for me, and never fear the cross ; for He has. 
 promised, He will make the yoke easy and 
 the burden light. He alone can and will 
 sweeten the bitter cup of adversity. He 
 has promised that if we acknowledge him 
 in all our ways, He will direct our paths. He 
 will be our guide unto death, and after death 
 our portion and happiness everlasting. Oh 
 may we never stray from such a Shepherd, 
 who gathers the lambs in his arms, and 
 gently leads those that are with young. May 
 you and I, my dear Judith, ever remain in, 
 
65 
 
 the inclosed garden of the Church, ready to 
 answer the slightest call, even as the putting 
 forth of the Beloved's finger through the hole 
 of the door, let the way be ever so narrow 
 or contrary to flesh and blood ; and as our 
 bodies are the temples of the Holy Ghost, 
 may we seek direction from him, knowing 
 that in his own time He will be found of 
 them that dihgently seek him. 
 
 You did not answer that part of my letter 
 upon waiting in silence upon the Lord for 
 divine teaching, which was a disappoint- 
 ment to me, as from that I have more real 
 comfort than ever I had through the me- 
 dium of another. I wish every one to 
 know and practise it : there is no other way 
 in which self is so humbled, for it is only in 
 the silence of all that is fleshly, that the 
 small still voice is to be heard. Even when 
 walking or working you may retire inward 
 and enjoy sweet communion with the Lord; 
 and: it is not, lo« here, or lo there, for the 
 
 word: (Jesus Christ) is in thy mouth, and in 
 6* 
 
66 
 
 thy heart. My mother had a letter from 
 
 dear . I feel happy in having fulfilled 
 
 my duty by writing to him, and having told 
 him all my mind, which letter he acknow- 
 ledged, and said he was very much obliged 
 to me for my good advice. Oh, may the 
 Lord be his preserver, and enable us to sub- 
 mit to his divine will, knowing that whatso- 
 ever is by his appointment is best. May 
 we all meet round the throne of the Lamb, 
 where no enemy can assault, nor snare 
 allure, where this corruptible shall put on 
 incorruption, and this mortal immortality, 
 &c. 
 
 LETTER VIL • 
 
 TO HEE SISTER JUDITH. 
 
 Nov. 14, 1795. 
 
 I AM sure it will give my dear Judith 
 pleasure to hear of the safe arrival of dear 
 
 : thanks be to Him who has preserved 
 
 him and brought him through so many 
 
67 
 
 dangerous storms, which have been fatal to 
 so many. I think we have always some- 
 thing or other stirring us up to gratitude 
 and love, not only in these outward mer- 
 cies, but in the more immediate and inward 
 tokens of his love, which is incomprehensi- 
 ble ; when He, whom the heaven of hea- 
 vens cannot contain, condescends to dwell 
 in the hearts of the meanest of his poor de- 
 spised people. You, my dear Judith, seem 
 in a great degree to enjoy the love of our 
 dear Redeemer ; it is a most peculiar mercy 
 to have your heart and affections, especially 
 at so young an age, so firmly attached to 
 him. He only could preserve you in the 
 midst of so many trials, and I doubt not, 
 He will still watch over you with an eye of 
 love, and preserve you unto his heavenly 
 kingdom : and may you and I, my dearest 
 Judith, devote our lives to Him whose gifts 
 they are, and finish our course with joy, 
 being ready to meet our Lord at any hour 
 that He shall please to call. 
 
68 
 
 LETTER VIII. 
 
 TO HEK SISTER JUDITH. 
 
 Nov. 21, 1795. 
 
 Though I am sure I can never feel half 
 gratitude enough to my condescending Re- 
 deemer, for Ms great goodness, in bearing 
 so long with me, yet, glory be to his name, 
 that I can say, with truth. Lord, thou 
 knowest all things; thou knowest that I 
 love thee ; whom have I in heaven but thee ? 
 and there is none upon earth I desire in 
 comparison of thee : at least I think so, and 
 hope there is no fear of my being mistaken. 
 Oh may He preserve me, and then I need not 
 fear what man can do to me. I do expect 
 troubles for following him, but do not fear 
 them, as He has said, " My grace is suffix 
 cient for thee;" and remembering that if we 
 suffer for his sake, happy are we, for the 
 spirit of glory and of God resteth on us. I 
 think I would not wish to. shun so glorious 
 
69 
 
 a cross. The Bible, my beloved Judith, is 
 only our outward rule, and is no doubt the 
 book of books, but there is " a more sure 
 Word of prophecy, whereunto we do well 
 that we take heed, as unto a light that 
 shineth in a dark place." This we may 
 have without a word being said outwardly, 
 and is to be found by retiring into the tem- 
 ple of God, which we are ; as He saith, ye 
 are the temples of the Holy Ghost ; and 
 there He will not fail to manifest himself 
 unto us, as He doth not unto the world. 
 He is not in the boisterous wind, nor in the 
 earthquake, but in the small still voice; and 
 though we can receive more comfort in thus 
 waiting upon him in outward silence, yet 
 He does not refuse it to us when we are en- 
 gaged in business, as we turn our minds in- 
 ward and seek his direction ; even with an 
 aspiration, we shall feel our doubts vanish 
 and our souls strengthened, and be enabled 
 to follow our dear Lord whithersoever He 
 goeth, This is what the prophet meant 
 
TO 
 
 when He said, "Eye hath not seen, nor ear 
 heard beside thee, God, what thou hast 
 prepared for him that waiteth upon thee :" 
 in short, there are more promises made 
 to quietly waiting than any other duty. 
 "They that wait upon the Lord shall renew 
 their strength; they shall mount up with 
 wings as eagles, they shall run and not be 
 weary, they shall walk and not faint." The 
 Psalms are full of the same : and I can say 
 from certaia experience, that I have re- 
 ceived more happiness from this waiting on 
 my heavenly Father, than I can express 
 with pen and ink. One night when doubt- 
 iag on my not receiving an immediate an- 
 swer^ that my sins were forgiven, and fear- 
 ing they separated me from him, these 
 words were in the strongest manner sweetly 
 applied to my soul; "I have blotted out 
 iiyy transgressions, and as a thick cloud thy 
 sias." 
 
 Try this method, and may you feel the 
 comfort of it. 
 
n 
 
 LETTER IX. 
 
 TO HER SISTEB JTJDITH. 
 
 Jan. 11, 1796. 
 
 Sincerely do I syinpatTiize wiili my dear- 
 est Judith, in ter very unpleasant and try- 
 ing situation; hut you have this comfort, 
 that whom the Lord loveth He chasteneth ; 
 that it is when He hrings us into the low 
 valley of humiliation. He gives us of his 
 best cordials ; it is then H^ brings us into 
 his banq[ueting-house, and his banner over 
 us is love. Fear not, my dear sister, for you 
 will be delivered from all your adversaries, 
 inward as well as outward. They will, I 
 trust, rather be of use to you, and draw you 
 still nearer to Him in whom are hid all the 
 treasures of the Godhead bodily. I would 
 caution you, my love, from imbibing from 
 your favorite Hervey the idea of imputed 
 righteousness ; remember, " without holi- 
 ness no man can see the Lord." If actual 
 
72 
 
 holiness is not expected, of what use was 
 our Lord's sermon on the mount, when He 
 says, " Not every one that saith Lord, Lord, 
 shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he 
 that doeth the will of my Father who is in 
 heaven ?" for not to the willing only, but to 
 the obedient is the promise made. He says 
 in another place, " Ye are my friends, if ye 
 •do whatsoever I command you." " If ye 
 know these things, happy are ye if ye do 
 them ;" for " ye shall know the truth, and 
 the truth shall make you free ;" and if the 
 Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall 
 be free indeed. What is He to free us from ? 
 He is called Jesus, for He is to save his peo- 
 ple from their sins. I fear it is a very dan- 
 gerous belief, and makes some too secure in 
 what is nowhere promised, that it is not 
 possible for them to fall off, making them 
 too easy and careless, not considering, that 
 He did not come to save his people in their 
 sins, but from their sins ; that they are to 
 take up their cross daily, and follow him, 
 
73 
 
 and that not imaginary, but real holiness is 
 what He meant when He said, " Be ye holy, 
 for I am holy." But think not, my Judith, 
 that I mean that our works can save us, for 
 very far be such a thought from me ; for in 
 us, that is in our flesh, dwelleth no good 
 thing. But we must take care to distinguish 
 between those works wrought in our wjj,! and 
 those wrought in us by Him who condescends 
 to dwell in us, and makes the hearts of his 
 people his temple. The life of a Christian 
 must be a continual warfare ; there must be 
 a perpetual variance between the old man 
 and the new : but, blessed be the name of 
 the Lord, He will never withhold his gra- 
 cious assistance from those who seek direc- 
 tion and strength from himself only. My 
 mother- has, I believe, told you how much 
 mistaken you were when you thought we 
 were enjoying peace and quietness. Our 
 portion outwardly is very different; but, 
 gloi;y be to Him, we have a comfort- and 
 happiness that the world knows not of, and 
 
74 
 
 that it can neither give nor take away. 
 How do I pity those (little do they know 
 what they lose) who are pursuing vain 
 phantoms that elude their grasp, and only 
 lead them farther on in the path of error 
 and vanity, and make their way back, if 
 ever they return, more difficult. I long 
 much»to see you and enjoy your much-loved 
 . society. may you be kept as in the hol- 
 low of the great Shepherd's hand, and be 
 led forth beside the waters of comfort, and 
 be brought to us safe, that we may together 
 feed beside the Shepherd's tent, and may 
 know him to be our teacher and never-fail- 
 ing friend in every time of trouble. 
 
 LETTER X. 
 
 TO HEB SISTEB ELIZABETH. 
 
 May 18, 1796. 
 
 Knowing what anxiety my dearest Eliza 
 is in, until she hears from us, I cannot be 
 easy without telling her, we are all as well 
 
75 
 
 as she can expect after so recent a wound.* 
 My beloved mother indeed suffered much in 
 mind and body, but has experienced the 
 everlasting arm of Omnipotence as a refuge 
 from the storm, a shadow from the heat, and 
 as a great rock in a weary land. She is able 
 to sit up and take nourishment, and I trust, 
 in a little time, will be enabled to leave her 
 room. I believe it will be a great alleviation 
 to your sorrow to hear we have had a letter 
 
 from dear ; he says he is perfectly well, 
 
 and the climate is more healthy than 
 formerly. Oh, may he yet be spared to us, 
 for a treble stroke would be l^ard to bear. 
 Indeed, my beloved Eliza, I have great 
 hopes that our dear has been merci- 
 fully accepted, and the work has been cut 
 short in righteousness. Nothing is too hard 
 for the Almighty ; and he had a good heart, 
 
 *This letter was written just after hearing of her eldest 
 brother's death ; having some short time before heard of the 
 death of another brother, both in foreign lands. These cir- 
 cumstances are alluded to in a subsequent part of the letter 
 where the expression " treble stroke" is used. 
 
76 
 
 and has, I have reason to believe, at times 
 felt the drawings of divine love in his soul : 
 my dearest parent has the consolation to 
 think she told him sufficient to ease her 
 heart on religious subjects. 
 
 For all our sakes, my dearest Eliza, take 
 care of thyself; outward comforters avail 
 but little, but in retirement and silent wait- 
 ing upon the Lord strength is to be re- 
 newed: in quietness and confidence shall be 
 thy strength. It is only in silence that the 
 inspeaking small still voice is to be heard ; 
 for the Lord is not in the whirlwind, but in 
 the small still voice : this I believe appears 
 strange to ycm, as it did to me at first ; but, 
 oh, try for yourself. T^ste and see that the 
 Lord is good. My dearest Eliza, I can write 
 no more, but that we all unitedly, in the 
 bonds of Gospel love, desire, that you and 
 my dear aunt may be kept in that peace 
 that passeth all understanding, and which 
 those only can enjoy whose minds are stayed 
 upon the Priuce of Peace. 
 
77 
 
 LETTER XL 
 
 TO HEE SISTEB JUDITH. 
 
 8th month 11, 1796. 
 
 In a measure of that love which many 
 waters cannot quench, nor the floods of 
 affliction drown, do I salute thee, though 
 absent in the body, yet as present in the 
 Lord, in whom all his members by joints 
 and bands, having nourishment ministered, 
 and knit together, increase with the mea- 
 sure of God. 0, my beloved sister ! what 
 a privilege is it to feel the uniting influence 
 of Gospel love, supporting and strengthening 
 us, and enabling us to bear each other's 
 burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ. 
 This is the law of love, which sometimes 
 brings me into suffering with thee, as being 
 myself also bound with thee in those testi- 
 monies of Jesus, which must be very trying 
 to thee, and my desires are for thee to the 
 God of all our mercies, that He will pre- 
 7* 
 
78 
 
 serve, keep, and watch over thee for good, 
 and that He will favor thee and me with a 
 knowledge of . his will, and with ability to 
 do it. 
 
 My dearest Eliza, thou already knowest, 
 is going, I believe, as fast as possible : the 
 thread is almost worn, but her immortal 
 soul seems fully prepared and ripe to enter 
 into the joy of her Lord; She does not 
 seem (except at times) to be so sensible of 
 her situation as at the beginning of her ill- 
 ness, when she told me she did think her 
 sickness would be unto death ; as she 
 seemed awakened one morning as with a 
 person saying those words, "Thou shalt see 
 the King in his beauty ;" which seemed as 
 a message to her from heaven, it left such 
 a sweetness on her mind. She is much 
 drawn into stillness and waiting on the 
 Lord. She told me that some time ago, 
 she felt desirous to be baptized in the Ana- 
 baptist way ; but she felt it clearly revealed 
 to her, that the only baptism necessary, 
 
79 
 
 was that of the Holy Ghost; and that as 
 she received that, John's baptism of water, 
 she did not want ; this she told me was 
 before she knew anything of Quakers. Is 
 it not an evident proof, if we wanted one, 
 of the tender love of our heavenly Father to 
 his truly devoted, depending children ? How 
 does He give them light in their dwellings; 
 while the proud, hard-hearted Egyptians are 
 suffered to grope for a season, in darkness 
 that may be felt ! 
 
 Dear Eliza has not been able for this last 
 week, to sit up longer than five o'clock, and 
 this day was obliged to go to bed before 
 one, so thou mayest judge how her poor 
 body is worn down : she cannot get rest or 
 ease from extreme pain in her chest, side, 
 and stomach, but by laudanum. These 
 dispensations must be very trying to so 
 weak a frame as my beloved mother's. 
 May the eternal God be her never-failing 
 refuge, and his everlasting arms be her sup- 
 port, is the prayer of all that is feeling 
 
80 
 
 within me. There is little in my power to 
 do for her, as I firmly believe all her conso- 
 lation is and must be derived from the 
 Comforter himself. We go to meetings, 
 when our attendance on Eliza wiU admit 
 of it. Hannah Stephenson, a minister, sat 
 with us, and spoke comfortably to us, 
 though she had a prospect of a fiery trial 
 awaiting us beside this great one. We look 
 forward to what a comforting consolation it 
 is, that no affliction for the present appears 
 to be joyous, but grievous, yet afterwards it 
 yieldeth the peaceable fruits of holiness to 
 those who are exercised thereby. Give my 
 
 dear love to Susan and J. ; tell them I 
 
 trust to hear of their growth in grace, and 
 in the knowledge of our Saviour Jesus 
 Christ; for the right knowledge of him is 
 the root of immortality. I think I may 
 say, without asking them, that my mother, 
 aunt, and Eliza unite in love to thee, my 
 precious Judith, with her who feels herself 
 doubly united to thee, both in the flesh and 
 
81 
 
 in the Lord, and is thy truly affectionate 
 sister, 
 
 Lucy Ussher. 
 
 Salute those of the household of fath that 
 are particularly dear to me, in my name. 
 
 LETTER XIL 
 
 TO A FEIEKD. 
 
 Impute not, my endeared friend, my 
 long silence to a want of that gratitude and 
 love, which fills my heart toward thee, 
 whenever I am capable of any feeling from 
 the right source ; but ah, my way has been 
 so much in the valley of the shadow of 
 death, that all communication, even with 
 thee, who at seasons seems as bone of my 
 bone and flesh of my flesh, was quite cut 
 off. I have not found liberty to open the 
 state of my poor tossed mind to any one ; 
 but to thee, I believe I may say, that my 
 
82 
 
 soul is exceeding sorrowful, even unto death. 
 I did hope to have seen thee, and that thy 
 sympathizing heart would have aflForded 
 suitable instruction or reproof. I look not 
 for consolation or encouragement, but " Let 
 the righteous smite me, it shall be a kind- 
 ness, and let him reprove me, it shall be as 
 excellent oil which shall not break my head." 
 Oh ! were I to tell thee the various plungings 
 of my spirit, it would far exceed the bounds 
 of a letter ; nor do I think it would be ex- 
 pedient to do so, knowing that patience must 
 have its perfect work, and He, whose name 
 is Wonderful, will not lay more upon me 
 than He will enable me to bear. When I 
 look forward, I think my natural strength 
 must fail, if the weight of suffering should 
 continue much longer ; but I feel the grain of 
 faith is mercifully afforded, though secretly, 
 to my drooping soul. And shall I not leave 
 myself in his holy hands, to do with me as 
 He pleases ? yes, my beloved friend, for 
 surely I wanted emptying ; under the sense 
 
83 
 
 of which it has frequently beeli the language 
 of my heart in times past, turn thy hand 
 upon me, purely purge away my dross, and 
 take away all my tin. 
 Dearly farewell. 
 
 Thy truly affectionate afllicted, 
 
 Lucy Usshee. 
 
EXTRACTS FROM LETTERS, ETC. 
 
 Judith, the third sister, died of a consump- 
 tion after a short confinement, early in the 
 year 1798, aged eighteen years and about 
 three months. 
 
 This precious child had, by nature, some- 
 what more to subdue than her sisters ; but, 
 being daily favored by the touches of divine 
 truth, and made sensible of its attractive 
 loveHness, she hesitated not, but gave herself 
 up to its powerful influence, knowing all she 
 could do was to be as passive clay in the 
 hand of the great Potter. By thus sub- 
 mitting, the Lord, in whom she delighted, 
 worked mightily for her deliverance, and 
 
85 
 
 subdued all things unto himself. Her bap- 
 tisms were deep and incommunicable ; she 
 dwelt much in inward retirement, and her 
 words were few and weighty. She bore her 
 last sickness with unremitted patience and 
 meekness ; and often said, there was no cloud 
 before her. Two days previous to her de- 
 cease, she was obliged to take to her bed, 
 when she sweetly said, had it been permitted, 
 she hoped to have been of the number of 
 those who were not confined to bed, that she 
 might not give trouble. The next morning 
 her mental faculties were much impaired ; 
 she seemed to lose the recollection of those 
 about her, until one of her brothers came 
 into the room, when she called out : " Oh, 
 
 , all is peace, sweet peace !" Before her 
 
 departure, she seemed long engaged in sup- 
 plication ; but these words only were clearly 
 understood : " It is all grace, free grace and 
 mercy!" After which, with upraised eyes 
 
 and hands, expressed she saw an angel ! 
 8 
 
86 
 
 when quickly her sweet spirit took its flight 
 to the mansions of eternal rest and peace. 
 
 She was admitted into membership with 
 the Society of Friends about eighteen months 
 before her decease. 
 
 A covenant with God, made by her when 
 about thirteen years old : — 
 
 " Almighty and incomprehensible Being, 
 I am now about to fulfil what has been long 
 foretold by the prophet Isaiah : ' One shall 
 say I am the Lord's, and another shall call 
 himself by the name of Israel." I do here, 
 before thee, this night, my heavenly 
 Father, subscribe with my hand that I am 
 thine ; and I do, from the bottom of my heart, 
 desire no portion but thee, my God : deny, or 
 give me what thou pleasest, but never let 
 me be without thee, and I shall have enough; 
 in thee is centred all my happiness. I do, 
 from this moment, renounce all the pomps 
 and vanities of this false, wicked world ; but 
 oh, what have I to renounce, but what would 
 forever make me miserable ! 
 
87 
 
 " Let angels and archangels be my wit- 
 nesses, if ever I am so base as to break this 
 my covenant ; let my name witness against 
 me. 
 
 "Judith Ussher." 
 
LETTER I. 
 
 TO HEB MOTHER. 
 
 1794. 
 
 I MUCH wish to be with my dearest friends, 
 to retire oftener, and to have more communion 
 with my God ; that God who will never leave 
 us if we look up to him at all times and 
 places. Oh that we may cleave to Him with 
 our whole heart, that when temptations arise 
 we may not be like the ruffled sea, but that 
 we may look with fresh confidence to the 
 rock from whence we are hewn, and receive 
 fresh strength ; may this be all pur case. 
 
 LETTEE II. 
 
 TO HER MOTHER. 
 
 1795. 
 
 I EEJOiCE that my sweet Lucy enjoys such 
 true happiness in our dear Lord : may she 
 
89 
 
 be kept by the power of God unto salvation : 
 may He keep ber from the poisonous snares 
 and temptations of tbe world. It was He 
 wbo drew us, blessed be his name, from the 
 yawning gulf which leads to everlasting 
 misery, to know him that is true, and Jesus 
 Christ whom He sent to perform for us, what, 
 by reason of our sinful nature, we could not, 
 by thought, word or deed, perform for our- 
 selves ; that by faith in his perfect righteous- 
 ness and meritorious death, we may have a 
 key to the blessed mansions of eternity. 
 What a delightful, but much-neglected book 
 is the Bible ; how should it be valued by the 
 children of God ! In it are promises to sup- 
 port us in the midst of temptations, and un- 
 der the rod of adversity, and to keep us hum- 
 ble when Providence with his liberal hand 
 dispenses his favors more profusely. May we 
 know, at least in some degree, how to value 
 such a God, who of his great mercy has, in 
 this our pilgrimage, given us such innumera- 
 ble, great, and valuable blessings, that we 
 8* 
 
90 
 
 may not only from these, but from Ms more 
 immediate promises, firmly believe that He 
 will never leave us nor forsake us. When I 
 look back on my past life, and consider the 
 great mercies of my God, my heart exults 
 with fearful joy ; with fear, lest before I 
 finish my course (knowing that in myself I 
 am a poor weak nothing), T should in the 
 least draw back, for then my God would 
 have no pleasure in me, and I could no longer 
 call him, my Abba. Oh that my Lord may 
 keep me from such an end ; for as in him 
 alone is my righteousness, so in him only have 
 I any strength ! Oh ! may He who has begun 
 a good work in me, never cease continuing it, 
 until it is perfectly completed. May you 
 and I, much-beloved friends, when time shall 
 be no more, meet in that boundless immen- 
 sity, and join those happy souls that eternally 
 sing hallelujahs to the Lamb, who has washed 
 us in his blood, and through whose most per- 
 fect righteousness we only can and will be 
 admitted there. My dear mother, what shall 
 
91 
 
 I say ? I am grieved ; I tremble, for my poor 
 
 . Oh that our prayers may go up as 
 
 incense before our heavenly Father for her 
 everlasting welfare, that the blessed Spirit 
 may, with its enlivening influence, draw the 
 veil from off her understanding, and show 
 her her wretched condition, and at the same 
 glance, a dear and dying Saviour, who will, 
 if she does not resist his visitations, wash her 
 in his sacred blood. I conclude with a line 
 that often occurs to me, particularly when in 
 company with those by whom I am sur- 
 rounded : — 
 
 " They build too low, who build beneath the skies,'' &c. 
 
 LETTER III. 
 
 TO HEE SISTEK ELIZABETH. 
 
 1795. 
 
 Will my dearest and most beloved Eliza 
 accept of a few lines from her Judith, who 
 
92 
 
 not only loves her with the strongest ties of 
 sisterly affection, but feels, united with it, 
 some of that love which the children of our 
 heavenly Father feel for each other ? I find I 
 am as utterly unable to do anything for my- 
 self, towards my eternal salvation, as a poor 
 helpless infant ; that even the thoughts of 
 my heart are evil. He well knew what was 
 in man who said, the heart is desperately 
 wicked, who can know it ? Oh then, what 
 inconceivable love was that which made our 
 dearest Saviour come in the form of a ser- 
 vant, clothed with flesh ! He who hated the 
 least shadow of iniquity, to bear the heavy 
 weight of our sins upon him ! Oh delightful 
 thought, that though our sins be as scarlet, 
 yet washed in his most precious blood, they 
 shall be like wool ; or red as crimson, they 
 shall be white as snow. Still, my dearest 
 Eliza, I want that strong witness in myself, 
 which is promised to all God's children, for 
 which I wait with patience till his appointed 
 time J for I have a strong hope, that He who 
 
93 
 
 has begun a good work in me, will not leave 
 it until He has perfectly completed it. I 
 often think how gracious the Lord has been 
 in drawing our poor sinful souls to him, who 
 were gone astray hke poor lost sheep from, 
 the great Shepherd and Bishop of our souls ; 
 and though the means seemed grievous at 
 the time (for I am sure it was brought about 
 by my illness) , it will teach us for the future 
 to kiss the rod with cheerfulness, not only 
 without repining, but with -glad hearts, know- 
 ing that everything shall work together for 
 good to them that love God. I do love him, 
 for He first loved me, and I would not give 
 up the comfortable feeling of his love for all 
 the false pleasures of this world, even were 
 they all united. I feel much obliged to you 
 and my dear aunt for your tender concern 
 
 about my going to , for fear I should be 
 
 drawn away by the people of this world j 
 were I to trust to myself, I might fear, but 
 not more there than here. I throw myself 
 entirely on my heavenly Father, for of him 
 
94 
 
 Cometh my help. None of us can know who 
 may be made use of as an instrument to 
 draw some poor soul to think seriously of 
 their want of a Saviour. May we go on 
 from grace to grace, from faith to faith, till 
 our bodies are laid in the peaceful grave, 
 and our souls are exalted to the mansions of 
 eternal bliss, which were prepared for us 
 from the foundation of the world. 
 
 LETTEK IV. 
 
 TO HBB MOTHER. 
 
 1795. 
 
 MT dear mother, are we not poor, weak, 
 frail mortals in ourselves ! For my part, 
 every day I live, I feel the great depravity 
 of my nature, which, without the inter- 
 ference of divine'^ love, would forever lead 
 me astray ; but all praise and glory be attri- 
 buted to that God who has led me to that 
 fountaiQ_ opened for sin and uncleanliness, 
 
95 
 
 where I may wash and be cleansed ! I long 
 much to be with you, yet may the Al- 
 mighty's will be done. I have every reason 
 to be thankful, for his arm has been ex- 
 tended to preserve me unstung amidst 
 
 thistles. You who were in , though for 
 
 a short time, must know my very unpleasant 
 situation, better than my pen can describe ; 
 and though this is but a small village, its 
 inhabitants are alike engrossed, having their 
 thoughts grovelling in earthly vanities, when 
 they know not the minute their tottering 
 cottages may be rased, and the unprepared 
 possessors be compelled to quit their beloved 
 abodes. The Lord be praised, who, though 
 He afflicts, does not shut up his bowels of 
 
 compassion from us. Last , being 's 
 
 day for seeing company, I had more time for 
 retirement ; and in the evening, on opening 
 my Bible, this promise, in the 54th of 
 Isaiah (with others in the same chapter) 
 was comfortably instilled into my soul : " 
 thou afflicted, tossed with tempests, and not 
 
m 
 
 comforted, behold I will lay thy stones with 
 fair colors, and lay thy foundations with 
 sapphires," &c. &c. I do everything I can 
 that I think may be the means of drawing 
 
 the hearts of to Him who is ready 
 
 to receive them as his adopted children, if 
 they will not be deaf to his kind entreaties. 
 
 I feel much for my dear ; may 
 
 she think seriously before her precious soul 
 takes j9ight unto unknown regions. May 
 God, in his merey, retain it in its aged castlej 
 until the north wind blow, and, by its pow- 
 erful influence, make her sensible of her 
 wretched condition ; then may the south 
 wind, breathing its benign influence, calm 
 the severity of the former, and discover a 
 royal Advocate, who is ready to do all the 
 most undone sinner can want or expect ! 
 
 May my dear also imbibe advantage 
 
 by her correspondence with our beloved 
 Eliza; may she be convinced of her state, 
 and of the great peace and happiness which 
 the; sons and daughters of Jehovah enjoy. 
 
97 
 
 I rely on the mercy and power of Him who 
 has drawn the hearts of so many of our very 
 undeserving family to himself. Have you 
 
 heard anything of our dear ? may God 
 
 keep him, as he has done hitherto, from 
 danger ; and grant that he may yet be one 
 of those diamonds which compose our royal 
 Master's diadem. Some branches in the vine 
 shoot up with great velocity ; while others 
 with less speed advance, I trust, with equal 
 firmness : your Judith has been one of the 
 latter. I acknowledge, I have not as yet 
 experienced the great comfort of silent wait- 
 ing on my dear Lord, which you were so 
 kind as to recommend me by experience, 
 and by giving me a desire for it ; but con- 
 sider, my dear friend, your outward tran- 
 quillity and quiet state, while I am exposed 
 on all sides to thistles and briers, from which, 
 without the aid of an invisible, but support- 
 ing arm, I could never escape unhurt ; but 
 
 I must not repine, and as He who said they 
 9 
 
98 
 
 should not be ashamed that wait for him, 
 cannot lie, I will wait in faith. 
 
 LETTER V. 
 
 TO HEB MOTHEB. 
 
 1795. 
 
 I AM sorry your health still continues 
 poorly. I trust in the great Physician that 
 if it be his will to afflict the body, He will 
 of his great and never-ceasing mercy, instil 
 the more solid comfort into the soul, and 
 patience to endure his chastening, which is 
 all sent in love. Read from 5th to 8th verse 
 of the 12th chapter of Hebrews, and 11th 
 verse of ditto ; there is comfort both for you 
 and me ; may we receive it as such. Oh may 
 you and I, my dear mother, go on from faith 
 to faith, from grace to grace, overcoming, 
 through the strength of our dear Almighty 
 Champion, all enemies— both spiritual and 
 temporal. Though our bodies may be sorely 
 
99 
 
 pricked with thorns and briers, and our 
 hearts grieved for all our remaining sins, 
 let us, with humble faith, rely on the pro- 
 mised "Word for help, remembering that He 
 that loveth us, will love us to the end, and 
 the more He chastens, the more strength 
 He gives to endure, &c. 
 
 LETTER VI. 
 
 TO HBB MOTHER. 
 
 Oct. 21, 1795. 
 
 When I received your last letter, my mind 
 was eased of many uneasy fears, which arose 
 in it by reason of the long silence which had 
 prevailed ; it also administered comfort to 
 hear by it, that you enjoy the greatest of 
 peace, by drawing from the fountain-head of 
 bliss, true and solid happiness, — which is 
 there only to be found. My dear mother, I 
 
 am quite afraid of ; her whole time and 
 
 attention are given up to novels; they are her 
 
100 
 
 study, even before breakfast. I asked her, 
 the other evening, what she thought of 
 people being born of the Spirit ? Her answer 
 was, she never thought about it ; that if she 
 did all the good she could, it was all that 
 could be required of her. When I try to 
 bring up the conversation, she immediately 
 evades it. I have no hopes but in Him, 
 with whom nothing is impossible. Every 
 blessing attend you, even to the utmost. • 
 
 LETTER VII. 
 
 TO HEB MOTHEK. 
 
 Nov. 5, 1795. 
 
 I THINK I cannot leave this tUl our return 
 
 from ; but, protected by my dear Lord, 
 
 I shall be safe wherever his divine hand 
 shall direct. I have long found that we can- 
 not always do the things that we would ; 
 but I must not, I will not repine : the Lord's 
 will be done. What you say of dear Lucy 
 
101 
 
 gave me great pleasure : may that holy In- 
 spirer who has drawn her heart, still keep it 
 fixed on that object who is the most lovely 
 among ten thousand; and keep her disen- 
 tangled from the snares of Satan and the 
 world, whose delusive pleasures I sincerely 
 hope may no longer have any charms for 
 her. May she prefer imitating the industri- 
 ous bee, to decorating herself in the gaudy 
 plumes of the butterfly. We must trust 
 
 Almighty power for the safety of dear . 
 
 He who holds the winds in his fist, and the 
 waters in the hollow of his hand, is able, and 
 I trust willing to protect him. 
 
 LETTER VIII. 
 
 TO HER MOTHBK. 
 
 Jan. 29, 1796. 
 
 I LOOK forward with delight to the time 
 when I may have the company of my near- 
 est and dearest friends. You know not whe- 
 ther I may not^ometimes accompany you 
 9* 
 
102 
 
 to meetings. Always, my beloved mother, 
 since unrestrained by you, you were not un- 
 acquainted with what my desires were before 
 I left you, which are now greatly increased. 
 I am not ignorant that persecution awaits 
 me from every quarter, from what you tell 
 me of yourself and my dearest Lucy ; but 
 leaning entirely on my Beloved, and armed 
 with his strength, though in myself entirely 
 helpless, I shall be enabled to share it with 
 you, and pass through this world, regardless 
 of the gilded, but poisonous pleasures it offers; 
 while pity predominates in my heart for 
 those who are still heedless of a superior 
 bliss, making my Saviour's will the rule of 
 my actions, while his blessed spirit is the 
 guide of my ways and the director of all my 
 paths. 
 
 I am obliged to you for the texts you have 
 pointed out to me ; they are really delight- 
 ful, and when by faith presented to ourselves, 
 convey true comfort : I would add the Epis- 
 tle of James. 
 
103 
 
 LETTER IX. 
 
 TO HER MOTHER. 
 
 Feb. 2, 1796. 
 
 I RECEIVED my dear mother's letter, and 
 though I sensibly feel for your situation, it 
 gave me pleasure to find that your heart and 
 affections are so irrevocably fixed where your 
 treasure is, that the scornings and malicious 
 slanders of a town, blinded by its follies, are 
 insufficient to shake your faith, grounded on 
 a foundation more lasting than the hills or 
 mountains. How do I pity the wretched 
 state of our acquaintance. My heart is de- 
 pressed, and my spirits languid ; methinks I 
 hear my tender parent, ever anxious for my 
 welfare, requesting me to disclose to her the 
 reasons : consider for a while, and your mo- 
 mentary fears will vanish. You that wade 
 through such hot persecutions to attend to 
 the voice of our Lord wherever He calls, must 
 feel for one who would accompany you re- 
 
104 
 
 joicing, but who is forced to act contrary to 
 the will of her dear Master. Am I not as 
 one that turns aside from his flock when de- 
 siring to follow their footsteps, and to keep 
 close to the Shepherd's tent ? Here I am in 
 the midst of worldlings, when commanded 
 to come out from among them, and to sepa- 
 rate myself from them. My Sunday, which 
 I would be happy to devote entirely to my 
 own good, I am obliged to spend with people 
 who seem ignorant how to hallow it, and to 
 hear the sacred name continually profaned. 
 When that day is thus spent, you may nearly 
 guess how the rest of the week revolves. 
 Cards and novels are the two prevailing 
 amusements. The latter I am unavoidably 
 obliged to hear, the consequence of which, 
 not seldom, draws a flood of tears from my 
 eyes, for some silly sentence too often ob- 
 trudes upon my thoughts, naturally prone to 
 evil, when I would have them fixed far 
 above the world and its mean enjoyments : 
 with the Psalmist, I can truly say, " My soul 
 
105 
 
 longeth, yea, even faintetli for the courts of 
 my Lord ; my heart and my flesh cry out 
 for the living God. , I had rather be a door- 
 keeper in the house of my God, than to 
 dwell in the tents of wickedness." May yon 
 and I, my highly favored parent, regardless 
 of any name by which the vain world would 
 brand us, follow their example, by making 
 all our actions coincide not only with our 
 Saviour's express commands, but with his 
 will, wherever we can discern the least indi- 
 cation of it, and when we have done all, He 
 must be " the Lord our righteousness." 
 
 I have studied the chapters my dear mo- 
 ther particularly mentioned, and though per- 
 sonally unknown, think your new acquaint- 
 ance a happy set of people. 
 
 LET TEE X. 
 
 TO HEB MOTHER. 
 
 February 12, 1796. 
 
 I THIS morning received my dear mother's 
 
106 
 
 letter, which, like the preceding ones, was 
 dictated by that affection which surpasses 
 the fondness of a parent to the darling of 
 her heart, when unenforced by a stronger 
 spiritual tie. Your advice is always salutary, 
 because directed by that influence which 
 cannot err ; but be assured, my ever- valued 
 friend, that what I cannot reconcile with the 
 word of truth, will be unable to influence 
 my conduct. Pardon my blunt assertion, — 
 you have encouraged me to make it; our 
 souls cast anchor on the same immovable, 
 sacred rock; and the comfortable Gospel 
 truths are, I trust, the firm belief of us both; 
 besides, I know not whether even in ou1> 
 ward forms we differ. As I have many 
 questions to ask you on that subject, I pro- 
 pose deferring it till we meet. Let the world 
 say what they please, if the Lord will, I am 
 resolved I will adhere to the Scriptures as 
 far as I can discern his will ; and that where 
 his word is simply and truly preached, with- 
 out being mixed with the doctrines of men, 
 
107 
 
 there I will resort ; be they ever so branded 
 with the most infamous of names, and 
 esteemed the dregs and refuse of the earth. 
 Our blessed Lord has taught us, both by 
 word and experience, that we cannot serve 
 both God and mammon, and that a man's 
 enemies are those of his'own household. I 
 thank God, some of the principal, most 
 beloved of mine, are fellow-travellers in the 
 same narrow road to Zion ; but I know I 
 have many enemies to encounter, and hav- 
 ing many sweet and precious promises of 
 divine succor from above, I will trust and 
 not be afraid. 
 
 I have now, unembarrassed, laid before 
 the friend of my bosom some of my real 
 sentiments, to whom I shall . not only be 
 ever ready, but shall esteem it a great favor 
 to be permitted to throw open the door of" 
 my heart, that there unveiled you may view 
 its contents, being assured you will continu- 
 ally discover to your Judith, every thought, 
 whether great or small. I look forward with 
 
lOS 
 
 great delight, to wlien I need not have re- 
 course to my pen to converse with, my in- 
 valuable friends. Remember me to . 
 
 Oh that they would now, in this day of salva- 
 tion, hearken to the Word of life, believing^ 
 its reviving truths, and accept of the free 
 salvation offered by the wounds of a dying 
 Saviour, that when they depart this life, 
 they niay fall asleep in Christ, and awake 
 to joys unknown ! 
 
 LETTEE XI. 
 
 TO HER MOTHEK. 
 
 March 2, 1796. 
 
 , Next Tuesday I trust I shall be restored 
 to friends rendered dearer than ever by a 
 long and painful absence, and unspeakably 
 precious by ties superior to those by which 
 nature has united us : yes, my ever-valued 
 parent, if that God who superintends the 
 goings of all mortals will now favor. 
 
109 
 
 Yet think not I shall leave this place 
 without a sigh, — pity strengthened by love 
 for those with whom I have so long lived, 
 has stationed itself in my heart : what words, 
 when present, could not do, may, if aided by 
 divine grace, be effected in a few lines. There 
 are many here whose blindness I pity, while 
 I despise the baneful pleasures they pursue. 
 
 LETTEE XII. 
 
 TO HBB SISTEE ELIZABETH. 
 
 July 7, 1796. 
 
 ' Since I received your letter, my dearly 
 
 beloved EUza, I have often felt an inclinar 
 
 tion to salute you with my pen, and I have 
 
 as many times deferred it. Ah ! is not this 
 
 too oftCTi the case, even in circumstances of 
 
 far more weighty consideration, which, being 
 
 from time to time delayed, help to weaken 
 
 the poor mind, and at last he dormant ? On 
 
 the contrary, if the inward monitor was 
 10 
 
no 
 
 immediately and implicitly obeyed, though, 
 to try'our faith it may sometimes lead us 
 through the dark valley, where there is 
 nothing to be seen on either side, yet at the 
 end, what sweet peace, even that which 
 passeth natural understanding, would the 
 tried, but obedient mind, be favorgd to 
 enjoy ! Excuse any past deficiency, and re- 
 ceive this from a sister who sincerely loves 
 you, and who, I think, sensibly feels for you, 
 during the complicated trials with which 
 your heavenly Father sees meet temporally 
 to aflBiict you. Kemember my dear sister, 
 that though no afiliction may for the present 
 appear to be joyous but grievous, yet at the 
 end it yieldeth the peaceable fruits of righte- 
 ousness, unto them who are exercised there- 
 by ! Many are the trials and the afflictions of 
 the righteous, but the Lord, in whom is their 
 whole trust and dependence, will, in his tmn 
 time, deliver them out of all. 
 
 May my Eliza feel, under the chastening 
 rod of her tender Father, which is sent in 
 
Ill 
 
 love, the great I Am's supporting staff se- 
 cretly strengthening and comforting her pre- 
 cious soul, is the ardent but feeble breathing 
 of my soul for you. He is the staff of living 
 bread with which I believe He will feed you 
 himself, and give you of the living waters of 
 the heavenly fountain to drink, in great 
 measure, and will never leave you nor for- 
 sake you. I trust that seeing my beloved 
 mother and Lucy, and their dwelling with 
 you for a time, will be made a means of 
 comfort to you, for truly I find their com- 
 pany salutary and delightful to my poor 
 mind, which has of late been much tossed on 
 many hidden as well as visible things. The 
 prospect of a separation from such truly valu- 
 able friends, has for some time been very 
 painful to me, and unless a portion of inward 
 strength is secretly handed to my soul, I 
 fear I shall not part with them with that 
 resignation to the divine will (by whose im- 
 mediate appointment I believe we are thus 
 to be separated) with which I desire to be. 
 
112 
 
 supported, througli all the appointed or per- 
 mitted trials wliicli may tail to my share, 
 while passing through this tribulatory life. 
 May we under every dispensation be enabled 
 to say, " Father, not my will, but thine alone 
 be done." I do not wish to tire my beloved 
 Eliza, therefore I will abridge this letter. 
 Give my dear love to my aunt; may you 
 both feel that He who is the pure light of 
 the spiritual soul, is your secret supporter 
 and never-failing help in every time of need; 
 your trials may be great, but I believe they 
 never will exceed the strength administered 
 to bear them with Christian patience. My 
 pen would run on, but I must retard its pro- 
 gress with committing you to the care of 
 Him who careth for you — from your un- 
 worthy sister, who loves you more than in 
 an a£fectionate manner, 
 
 Judith TJssher. 
 
 P. S. I have, by writing you these few 
 lines, eased my mind of a burden with which 
 I have been long depressed. 
 
113 
 
 LETTER XIII. 
 
 TO A FRIEND. 
 
 July 12, 1796. 
 
 I TAKE up my pen to salute my dearly be- 
 loved friend, whom I was in hopes of seeing 
 this day at meeting, and afterwards spending 
 an hour with, but from outward circum- 
 stances, and from what I can gather from 
 inward feeling, I shall be, I apprehend, in 
 my place by staying [at home] this day. 
 Though apparently separated from you, my 
 •mind often pays you a secret visit, and 
 sweetly remembers the few minutes that I 
 was favored to spend in your company, when 
 last in town, which were too sweet and salu- 
 tary to be soon forgotten. 
 
 I could have stayed, and in the evening I 
 
 scarcely knew how to part. There is much 
 
 to be felt from the influence of other spirits, 
 
 which I have of late been led to consider as 
 
 particularly dangerous to me, in my present 
 10* 
 
114 
 
 state, and, of course, requires a continual 
 guard over thoughts, words, and actions. 
 Ah..! how weak and unstable am I, to be 
 placed in so perilous a situation ; may I, then, 
 be enabled to get up into my watchtower, 
 and remain there during all the various vicis- 
 situdes of this wintry season ; for surely the 
 Lord is a strong tower of defence to the weak 
 and weary soul, that flies to him for refuge 
 from its destroyers, as David did from the 
 hand of Saul. I have renewedly likened 
 my present travel to the Israelites' journey 
 through the barren wilderness, to which my 
 feelings incline me to believe it bears some 
 small resemblance. But, ah ! saith my soul, 
 may it not through disobedience be cut off 
 there, but pass forward, without murmuring, 
 and be content to dip deep in the baptizing 
 waters of Jordan ; and even, if it is seen 
 meet by the great Master, pass through the 
 furnace, so that it may be cleansed from all 
 dross, and the filth of the flesh, with which 
 I feel so incumbered that my soul secretly 
 
116 
 
 mourns and feebly breathes unto its Beloved, 
 for the refining influence to pass over it, that 
 it may be fit for the Master's inspection, and 
 in due season enter the promised land. While 
 my fears are conttnually, in some measure, 
 raised for myself, and the watchman is, as it 
 were, sounding the alarm in mine ears, in 
 this land of spiritual drought, my soul is, at 
 seasons, secretly exercised for my beloved 
 
 and , (who, though separate, I think 
 
 their situations pretty equal), lest the ever- 
 watchful adversary of their souls' happiness 
 should beguile them as he did Eve, and take 
 the Word of life out of their hearts, and plant 
 therein thorns and brier*. Ah ! that on the 
 contrary, they may be as engrafted branches 
 in the heavenly Vine, bringing forth much 
 goodly fruit to the praise and honor of Him 
 who is the head. 
 
 I received a letter this morning from my 
 beloved mother ; she seemed thankful to our 
 blessed Lord for a delightful voyage of seven- 
 teen hours J they were then going to a little 
 
116 
 
 meeting, it being first day ; she said, I must 
 not expect favorable accounts of our dear 
 Eliza, "which, indeed, from the commence- 
 ment of her UlnesSj I had but little reason to 
 hope for. Knowing the Weet frame of her 
 miud, I think I could, in some measure, 
 patiently resign her to her dear Lord, trith 
 whom, I believe, her precious soul will, on 
 its exit from mortality, ever after reside. 
 
 LETTEE XIV. 
 
 TO HER MOTHER. 
 
 July 15, 1796. 
 
 Mt dearly beloved mother's letter, convey- 
 ing the pleasing intelligence of her safety, 
 and of my dearest Lucy, was truly acceptable 
 to me. I trust you have by this concluded 
 your journey with equal cause for gratitude 
 to the great unerring Disposer of us un- 
 worthy worms. May we be sensible of his 
 
117 
 
 favors so unmerited, and render unto him 
 his due tribute of grateful praise. When my 
 thoughts are engaged in a retrospective view 
 of the infinite mercy of our heavenly Father 
 to my soul, in redeeming it from the bonds 
 of Egyptian slavery, and his condescending 
 goodness in renewedly feeding me with such 
 portions of food as He sees best and most 
 convenient for it, how am I grieved still to 
 find therein, so much of the adamantine 
 nature which has not yet been penetrated 
 by the softening rays of the Sun of righte- 
 ousness. May you be preserved, my beloved 
 mother, through all the various trials that 
 are in infinite wisdom allotted to you ; yea, 
 and though you may renewedly have to 
 pass, as through the fiery furnace, I do 
 believe you will be upheld by an Almighty 
 hand. An inward, comfortable persuasion 
 has attended my mind, which, though I am 
 fearful of mentioning, I believe I shall not 
 find peace in my mind unless I write it to 
 you : though the Lord may please to cause 
 
118 
 
 you to pass througli the burning, fiery fur- 
 nace, and the flames be so hot, that you may 
 be encompassed with fear lest you should 
 suffer in the best sense — ^yet fear not ; as 
 certain as He accompanied the three children. 
 He will be with you, and not suffer those 
 robes with which He has clothed you, to be 
 either singed or scorched by the flames. 
 
 My beloved mother, what great fear has 
 encompassed me in communicating to you 
 these few words, knowing how very deceitful 
 the heart is, lest they should have sprung 
 from a corrupt spring; but if I am not 
 greatly deceived in my feelings, they were 
 not of my own creating, or written in my 
 own will. I fear you found our beloved 
 Eliza worse, as to bodily health, than you 
 expected, but her precious soul raised above 
 the cares of the body, and calmly resigned 
 to the will of Him who makes all things 
 work together for good, to them who love 
 and fear him. 
 
119 
 
 LETTER XV. 
 
 TO HEB MOTHER. 
 
 July 23, 1796. 
 
 My beloved motlier's letter gave me plea- 
 sure, so far as it communicated her agreeable 
 journey, and safe arrival at Bristol; but 
 when I heard of the many symptoms, which 
 apparently threaten the approaching dissolu- 
 tion of our beloved Eliza, it conveyed intelli- 
 gence which was truly painful, but was not 
 more than I was prepared for. It is my 
 desire to be restrained from wishing to retain 
 her precious soul from entering into that 
 blissful eternity, into which, I believe, it will 
 undoubtedly enter, richly laden with hea- 
 venly fruit, when time to her here shall be 
 no more. May we each be willing tran- 
 quilly to resign her unto Him from whom 
 we have received her ; not only because she 
 may depart, but because it is the good plea- 
 sure of our heavenly Father to take her unto 
 
120 
 
 himself, for wMcli blessed purpose He has, 
 in early life, prepared her immortal soul. 
 Though a separation from her would be a 
 severe trial, and to you, my dear mother, a 
 season of renewed afl&iction, yet, as you are 
 a witness to the composed tranquillity and 
 resignation which is apparent in her counte- 
 nance, and which by her conversation evi- 
 dently denotes her angelic frame of mind, 
 and readiness to depart from this state of 
 mortality, and enter into the undisturbed 
 regions of eternity, where the wicked cease 
 from troubhng, and the weary are at rest, 
 where " They shall hunger no more, neither 
 thirst any more, neither shall the sun light 
 on them, nor any heat," but they shall be 
 led by the " living fountains of waters, and 
 God shall wipe away all tears from their 
 eyes," what consolation must these weighty 
 considerations, when weighed in an even 
 balance, tend to impart to the feeling miad 
 of my valued mother ! May the Almighty 
 arm of divine love continually surround, 
 
121 
 
 support, comfort, and strengthen you, and 
 may you, in the day of conflicting trials, 
 secretly view the royal sceptre of divine 
 approbation held forth, encouraging your 
 precious soul to keep above the many waters 
 which threaten to overwhelm it, is the secret 
 and renewed desire of my soul, which feels 
 at times so stripped and void of what is truly 
 good, that it is almost led to question, 
 whether it ever experienced the living ope- 
 rative power of Truth at work therein. But 
 at other seasons, I am almost willing to be- 
 lieve these are, in some measure, suggestions 
 raised by my ever-watchful adversary. How- 
 ever, it has undoubtedly felt, in a very smaU 
 degree, somewhat resembling the bhnd man, 
 when he could but imperfectly distinguish 
 " men as trees walking :" may I be willing 
 renewedly to plunge into the waters of 
 Siloam. How is my mind bowed down 
 lander a sense of inherent corruption with 
 which it is encompassed : the language which 
 
 I still use is become so great a weight, that 
 11 
 
122 
 
 at times I have remained .silent for want of 
 power to express myself. I know not whether 
 a change therein will be soon or late required 
 of me, but from what I have long felt, I 
 believe I shall be called on to use that which 
 is most consistent with the simplicity of 
 truth, while dwelling here. May - 1, when 
 the command goes forth, in obedience there- 
 to, be enabled to cast this burden at the feet 
 of the great Shepherd of his sheep, and 
 humbly to wait there for such portions of 
 strength as He sees meet to administer. 
 
 Eespecting our beloved , my grandfa- 
 ther is perfectly satisfied that you should 
 have him, to do as you please with him, and 
 bring him up in any religious society most 
 agreeable to you ; as to the nomination, he 
 seems quite indifferent, so that he lead an 
 honest life. He also wishes to have him 
 brought up to any employment most ap- 
 proved of by you ; he says he will not inter- 
 fere, and desires me to say what I could to 
 ease your mind. Have we not, my beloved 
 
123 
 
 mother, abundant reason, in a feeling sense 
 of gratitude, to own that the Lord doth won- 
 derfully turn the hearts of the children of 
 men, so as to perform his gracious purpose 
 towards them, who endeavor simply to fol- 
 low him in the path of truth ? T doubt not 
 but thy heart has been already warmed with 
 it, in a more lively manner than words can 
 express. 
 
 LETTER XVL 
 
 TO A FBIEND. 
 
 7t]i month 27, 1796. 
 
 I THINK I feel as if I had made a sort of 
 promise to my beloved friend, that I would 
 inform her when I heard from my dear mo- 
 ther respecting my precious sister. I now 
 sit down with an intention to forward a few 
 lines, hoping my past seeming deficiency will 
 not be regarded as a breach of that love 
 which I undoubtedly feel for you, and is, I 
 
124 
 
 believe, all the good that springs from this 
 heart, unworthy the sympathy of my friends. 
 'My dear mother and Lucy were favored to 
 arrive safe and well at the Hotwells, the 
 third evening after their landing in Milford, 
 where they found our dear Eliza as bad as 
 they could have expected ; a cough, attended 
 with much pain, spitting, night-sweats, and 
 a continual fever, are all symptoms tending 
 to confirm our apprehensions of its being a 
 consumption. My dear mother mentioned 
 that the physicians have but little hopes, 
 and that she has none. But through this 
 disease, which only afficts the body, she car- 
 ries in her countenance an angelic smile, 
 which denotes her sweet frame of mind, the 
 undisturbed peace which veils it as with a 
 mantle, and her readiness to quit this vale 
 of tears, when the heavenly messenger calls 
 her from,hgnce into the bosom of her dear 
 Lord. If it is the determination of a Provi- 
 dence that cannot err, to deprive us of her 
 at this early stage of Hfe, when youth, and 
 
125 
 
 those Christian graces which are the fruits of 
 the Spirit of God, seem to arrive at their full 
 bloom, may we be but resigned to the gra- 
 cious will, and supported under the chasten- 
 ing hand of a tender Father, and consoled 
 when we 'consider into whose care we com- 
 mit her immortal soul : for surely I believe 
 the day's work is almost finished, and that 
 she is ripe for that eternity, into which I 
 doubt not she is about to enter. Oh that we 
 may each be preserved through all the pro- 
 bations and deep baptisms which necessarily 
 attend these mortal bodies, and be enabled 
 to keep in our respective places, that so when 
 the awful errand alights at our doors, that 
 time to us here shall be no longer, we may 
 with composui'e look back on our past lives, 
 and forward with holy unmixed joy. While 
 I am ready to crave that our latter days 
 may thus close, yet a hope scarce remains 
 that I shall attain to such an end. Ah ! 
 did my beloved friend but know the state of 
 
 this corrupt heart, I am apt to believe, pity 
 11* 
 
12a 
 
 rather than love, would kindle in her soul 
 for me. My mind has been for some time 
 greatly depressed and brought very low un- 
 der a feeling sense of the great depravity of 
 my nature, which seems engrafted therein, 
 and, like a subtle serpent, to entwine round 
 my inward parts. When walking a few days, 
 ago in a garden, a lily attracted my atten- 
 tion ; then how did the thought sink deep 
 into my soul, that the soul that appears with 
 acceptance in the presence of the Most High, 
 must be clad in garments as pure and white 
 as that lovely flower. How did I, and 
 do I, fear I shall never attain to the being 
 clothed with these unspotted robes, which I 
 am persuaded is the beauty of the renewed 
 soul. Oh ! when with a heart overloaded 
 with breathings, I would look towards the 
 mercy seat, to be so cleansed and washed from 
 my great corruptions, by that Power which 
 alone contains efficacy sufficient to wipe off 
 those stains with which I am polluted, I feel 
 unworthy to hope for anything from thence, 
 
127 
 
 and sighs are the language I utter. Daniel's 
 pathetic complaint is what my soul has 
 adopted, and is most expressive of my state; 
 " My comeliness is turned in me into corrup- 
 tion, and I retain no strength." 
 
 Being prevented from sending this yester- 
 day, I propose adding a few lines hefore I 
 conclude. On retiring last evening to my 
 chamber, and endeavoring to gather into an 
 inward silence, my mind was for a while in- 
 volved in darkness ; when unexpectedly I 
 felt that now was the appointed time ; in obe- 
 dience to the great Shepherd, I should no 
 longer use that language which is far from 
 being agreeable to the simplicity of Truth, 
 and which has long been, more or less, a 
 burden almost intolerable for me to bear : 
 then I was desirous, that if it was the voice 
 of Truth I heard, I might, on opening the 
 Bible, meet with some passage that would 
 confirm it, but instead thereof, these words 
 were impressed on my mind, " Blessed are. 
 they that have not seen, and yet have be- 
 
128 
 
 lieved." When I rose this morning the 
 subject again opened, and at the same time 
 many besetting difficulties occurred, which I 
 knew I had not power to surmount, unless 
 the All-supporting arm succored me in that 
 time of need, and there seemed to arise a 
 wish that the command had not yet been 
 given, which I hope was accompanied with 
 a fear lest I should move before the right 
 time : but these, and many other words, 
 seemed to be brought into my recollection, 
 " My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither 
 are your ways my ways." " To obey is bet- 
 ter than sacrifice, and to hearken than the 
 fat of rams." My mind cannot be sufficiently 
 bowed down in grateful acknowledgments 
 for these unmerited mercies, of which I am 
 an unworthy partaker. Oh ! that I may be 
 enabled continually to wait in childlike sim- 
 plicity at Wisdom's gate, with mine inward 
 ear open, to receive her instruction, and 
 hearken to her counsel ; for surely she is a 
 tree of that life to which I feel not entitled 
 
129 
 
 to approach. My dear Susan desired me to 
 
 give her dear love to thee and dear . 
 
 In much love, I remain, 
 My valued friend's very affectionate 
 
 Judith Ussher. 
 
 LETTER XVII. 
 
 TO HER MOTHER. 
 
 8th month 12, 1796. 
 
 I RECEIVED thy affectionate salutation, my 
 beloved mother, when last in town, wherein 
 thou tenderly expressed thy solicitude for 
 me, in the promotion of my spiritual wel- 
 fare. Oh ! t^hat it may not prove ineffectual : 
 but how little do I feel of that growth and 
 stability in the best things, which I painfully 
 observed thy saying, my letter gave thee 
 pleasure to hear of. For surely, I am appre- 
 hensive that, could I lay open my heart be- 
 fore thee, the various feelings of which, I 
 may truly say, I do not myself understand, 
 
130 
 
 thou would be more inclined to take up with 
 me a song of /lamentation, than to hope thou 
 hast in me a plant growing up in the garden 
 of the Lord. To feel myself inclosed therein, 
 and He, who my soul fervently desires to be 
 unto me the chief among ten thousand, a 
 wall on the right hand and on the left, is 
 an experience which I must wish for, but 
 I know myself to be unfit to be made sen- 
 sible of so great a blessing. Thou may 
 have observed before now an alteration 
 which has taken place, since my last to 
 thee, which, I humbly trust, was in obedi- 
 ence to the revealed will of the great I am, 
 manifested to me in the secret of my heart, 
 which, when I endeavored, though in much 
 weakness, to perform, strength was merci- 
 fully administered, to enable me to be faith- 
 ful unto the little committed to me. Oh ! 
 that we may, each of us, be continually 
 kept in the simple track of entire dedication 
 and perfect obedience, for therein I am satis- 
 fied the soul is, at seasons, favored with a 
 
131 
 
 degree of that undefiled peace, which the 
 world knows not of. The trials and conflicts 
 of my mind, for some time past, have been 
 greater than I believe it meet for me to 
 mention, even to thee, my beloved mother. 
 I could almost wish to be as EHjah, hid 
 from the world in a cave, yet having Him 
 for a companion, whom he alone sought for. 
 Solitude and retirement are what I feel most 
 easy to myself, if I can justly so style any 
 situation in my present state of mind, for 
 the cloud that seemed to rest upon my 
 tabernacle is departed, my inward labor is 
 redoubled, and I find not that repose I 
 vainly seek in my secret closet, the doleful 
 habitation of my soul. I do mourn over 
 myself, being in general so deeply clad in 
 the sable robes of spiritual night; and at 
 times, so remote from infinite goodness, that 
 I much fear a state of abstractedness there- 
 from is approaching. Oh ! that I may still 
 rely on Almighty Providence, and remain 
 wholly trusting in him, that though He slay 
 
132 
 
 rae, I may fall at bis feet. I was pleased at 
 the account thou gave me of thyself, that 
 (even in the midst of thy great trouble, 
 which causes, I doubt not, agonizing pangs 
 to be felt at seasons, in the prospect of a 
 separation from our precious Eliza) thy 
 gratefal heart is made sensible of the un- 
 failing mercies showered down upon thee 
 by an Almighty hand. Oh ! when will the 
 day come, that I can feelingly join thee in 
 sacred melody ? for truly, my heart is so 
 oppressed, that to retire from the face of 
 visible things, into a deserted comer of the 
 world, would be a situation most suitable to 
 the barrenness of my soul. But if it be my 
 allotted portion to pass through this vale of 
 tears in the spirit of heaviness, I desire to 
 be content^ remembering the past times, 
 when the Fountain of life was livingly 
 opened, and I made sensible of its refreshing 
 draught. R. J. received a letter from — - ■■ 
 He says : " Give my dear love to E. TJ. and 
 precious children, who remain as living 
 
133 
 
 epistles, written in my heart, to this very 
 moment : I know not that I am commis- 
 sioned to say more, than that I believe them 
 to be particularly under the favor of Heaven; 
 and that He who loves his own from the 
 beginning, loveth them unto the end, and 
 that He will never leave them nor forsake 
 them." 
 
 Tell my beloved Lucy, with my dear love, 
 that I think I can safely say, scarcely a day 
 passes without my having her more or less 
 in my mind ; and, though I more and more 
 feel as if the living fountain of life was dry- 
 ing up, yet that in a dejected hour, the 
 remembrance of the sweet influence of her 
 precious spirit, is salutary and refreshing to 
 me. My dear love to my beloved Eliza and 
 aunt, in which Susan joins to thyself and 
 Lucy, and 
 
 I remain thy unworthy, but, 
 
 I think, truly affectionate daughter, 
 
 Judith Usshee. 
 12 
 
134 
 
 LETTER XVIII. 
 
 TO HEB MOTHER. 
 
 9tli month 9, 1796. 
 
 Was it not my beloved mother's request, 
 to hear from me once a week, it seems to me 
 most probable, my pen would be at this time 
 unoccupied, and while I take it up, I am 
 feeling sensible of my great incapacity ac- 
 ceptably to o£fer thee anything. However, 
 this I am persuaded, that thine and my be- 
 loved Lucy's consolations (for I think my 
 spirit, though feebly, salutes you both in your 
 very tribulated path) are all derived from 
 that unadulterated Fountain, which issueth 
 in due time to the poor, tried, and weary 
 soul, an ineifhaustible stream. Thy sweet 
 letter, my valued mother, even before I 
 opened it, brought a peace to my poor mind, 
 to which I am mostly a stranger. Perhaps 
 it is this spirit, which formerly discovered 
 itself in the multitude, when they followed 
 
135 
 
 Jesus only for the loaves and fishes, that has 
 fastened upon me ; but I may truly say, that 
 I am far from wishing to indulge it, rather 
 desiring to feel the craving appetite of the 
 corrupt will so mortified, as in all things 
 entirely to give up to the turnings of the 
 Divine hand. A fast has been, however, I 
 believe in much wisdom, dispensed, the liv- 
 ing bread, handed in secret, being long with- 
 held. May we, therefore, now be preserved 
 from kindling sparks of our own, or endea- 
 voring to make a substitute in the absence 
 of our beloved; for, I trust no sensual enjoy- 
 ment, nor anything less than the immediate 
 presence of Him, whom we each desire to 
 be in us, the Alpha and Omega, can yield 
 our souls that for which mine in secret 
 mourlieth. Though Belial may, at such 
 times as these, strive to turn our hearts from 
 the King of Israel, yet let us, suspecting him 
 in all our ways, turn a deaf ear to his mali- 
 cious whispers, remembering that, " He sa- 
 voreth not the things that be of God, but 
 
136 
 
 those which be of man," because thereby his 
 dominion is exalted. From experience I 
 may say, it is far from being easy, when best 
 help is withdrawn, to shut out the transform- 
 ing enemy ; it is then He works hardest, and 
 with most prevailing strength in the poor 
 soul, in blocking up the way for the entrance 
 of the river of life : can I but preserve an 
 avenue for its return, I believe it will be by 
 hard wrestling. Could I indulge that hope 
 with which thou endeavors to encourage me, 
 that the darkness which hath been so long 
 in my soul, is by the Lord suffered to be 
 there for this blessed end, to ground and 
 settle it in virtue, I should not only be con- 
 tent, but rejoice, I think, in some measure : 
 however, let us rest in patience the appointed 
 season, and not add to our afflictive trials, 
 by an unsubjected will, but rather in all 
 things, give ourselves up to the forming of 
 our heavenly Father's hand ; remembering 
 we are but clay, and consequently, ignorant 
 of the means which may most eflflcaciously 
 
137 
 
 tend to the purifying our earthen vessels. 
 While I write, I feel an unusual earnestness, 
 that we may each be prepared and ready, 
 with dedicated hearts, to step forward at the 
 call of our great Master, in any line of duty 
 and devotednes's, however repugnant to flesh 
 and blood, and acquit ourselves so as to bring 
 praise to the great and eternal Name, regard- 
 less of how much self is abased. But from 
 what quarter arise these sensations ? for the 
 minute before, I was ready to acknowledge 
 myself destitute of any that had in them the 
 savor of life, it being my daily humbling 
 experience, to explore the path of obscurity, 
 being weary of myself and all visible objects. 
 I have wished to pass along unnoticed, hav- 
 ing my name blotted out of the book of re- 
 membrance ; but this is not the will of Him 
 who prayed not that we should be taken out 
 of the world, but that we should be kept 
 from the evil of it. 
 
 The account I of our precious Eliza coii- 
 
 veyed some comfort to me, though she had 
 12* 
 
138 
 
 to drink so deeply of the cup of suflfering, 
 and little likelihood of the dear body remain- 
 ing much longer with you. Bear up through 
 all, beloved mother and sister, with Christian 
 fortitude, and may the arm of Omnipotence 
 be your support ; for I believe nothing else 
 could carry you through so great afl&ictions. 
 I remain in that love, which at this time 
 flows towards you, my valued mother and 
 sisters, more than affectionate 
 
 Judith Ussher. 
 
 LETTEK XIX. 
 
 TO A FRIEND. 
 
 10th month 4, 1796. 
 
 ■ Thy frequent kind inquiries and many 
 messages of love, my dear friend, to one who 
 not only feels unworthy of the regard, but 
 even of the notice of any whose names are 
 written in the Lamb's book of life, were ac- 
 ceptable; gratitude seemed before now to 
 
139 
 
 have prompted the dictating of a few lines in 
 acknowledgment thereof. However, if my 
 long silence requires an excuse, let the dis- 
 tressed situation of my poor mind plead one, 
 when I tell thee, that for a considerable time 
 past it has not only been stripped of every 
 sensible enjoyment (were it confined to this, 
 I think I should not repine), but it has al- 
 most continually labored under such an op- 
 pressive weight, the burden whereof has at 
 times, particularly of late, seemed almost 
 insupportable ; that in the bitterness of my 
 soul I have been forced to utter. My God, 
 my God, why hast thou forsaken me ? Even 
 the purest friendship, or the society of the 
 choicest of my beloved friends, I am incapa- 
 ble of enjoying ; like the pelican in the wil- 
 derness, so my soul sits mourning in every 
 comer ; and with the prophet I have wished 
 that I had in this wilderness a lodging-place, 
 that thither I might flee ; but this denied, in 
 lieu thereof may patience be proportionally 
 granted, so as to keep the poor soul from 
 
140 
 
 quite sinking or striking on the quicksands 
 of despair. Faith is at so low an ebh at 
 times that it can scarcely be compared to a 
 grain of mustard-seed, and even that, so hid 
 in the earth, as often to cause the closest 
 search to prove fruitless. The fountain of 
 living waters being closed in myself, I have 
 long rather preferred to sit mourning at the 
 well's mouth, than seek for comfort from, 
 other springs ; for I feel as if the waters from 
 another's cistern could yield me no consola- 
 tion. I remain much in external and inter- 
 nal solitude, and when with those dear 
 friends under this roof, whose company I 
 know not how to value, I have been, as it 
 were, constrained to retire ; but when -with 
 them I wish in some measure to disguise the 
 deep distress in which my soul is involved, 
 and which the hand of Omnipotence only 
 can fathom. I knew not but that my mind 
 might have received some relief by writing 
 to thee, my dearly beloved friend, but I find 
 it too full for words to unburden ; however. 
 
141 
 
 I hope what I have said will be a sufficient 
 apology for my not having handed thee be- 
 fore now a few lines, particularly on the 
 arrival of my beloved mother and sister, who 
 have been through infinite mercy preserved 
 in tolerable health, though neither is well. 
 But their kind Master, into whose hands 
 they resigned the helm of their vessel, while 
 He led them through the sea of adversity, 
 recruiting them with needed supplies of 
 strength and provision, mercifully kept them 
 within sight of the harbor of peace, where I 
 trust they have since measurably been ena- 
 bled with grateful praise in their hearts 
 safely to cast anchor. Written in much love 
 by thy very aflFectionate, ' and, oh ! that I 
 might add, fellow-traveller towards a city 
 which hath foundations. 
 
 Judith Usshee. 
 
142 
 
 LETTEK XX. 
 
 TO A FRIEND. 
 
 1st month 30, 1797. 
 
 Little did my heart conceive when I last 
 parted from thee, my dear and valued friend, 
 the many and deep afflictions which awaited 
 me, the severest of which originated within. 
 How many months have now passed since 
 the soul could rejoice at the voice of its 
 Beloved, or even distantly behold his feet 
 upon the mountains : surely if his presence 
 giveth life, the withholding thereof causeth 
 darkness and, death, and then the soul that 
 hath none in heavem but Him, nor in all the 
 earth it desireth beside him, cannot but 
 mourn. Oh ! then did I become a burden 
 to myself and society : and sorrows so in- 
 creased that the pit had almost closed her 
 mouth upon me, when for a season, yea, a 
 very little season, the clouds seemed to wear 
 a less rigorous aspect, and in the seeming 
 
143 
 
 prospect of returning ^ day, the soul was 
 almost ready to rejoice in hope of again em- 
 bracing its Beloved. But it proved only 
 the presage of a more dark and stormy sea- 
 son, wherein the heavens appear as brass, 
 and the gates thereof like bars of iron ; the 
 sun which once measurably illuminated my 
 path has been darkened in his going forth, 
 and is no longer a lamp to my feet, and a 
 light unto my paths, and the creatures yield 
 no consolation ; my bed seems to be made 
 in the deep waters where the floods have 
 overflowed my soul, and the weeds are 
 wrapped about my head. In this sad deser- 
 tion of Almighty Goodness, I have sought 
 much for silence and retirement, where, 
 though there has been a seeking and not 
 finding the Beloved of souls, yet I have 
 thought it is well to be found waiting for 
 him in the way of his coming. The porter 
 knows not at what time his lord may come, 
 at midnight, at the cock-crowing, or in the 
 morning : I have therefore wished to be kept 
 
144 
 
 watchful, if peradventure He may again re- 
 member Ms afflicted servantj^ though hope 
 seems almost fled. I have, I believe, with 
 reason, dreaded the natural impatience of 
 my disposition, which has been ready to 
 conclude it vain to wait upon the Lord, see- 
 ing He hath rejected me from among his 
 servants, and cast me from his presence as 
 a reprobate branch ; yet there has been a 
 struggle for resignation, which has at sea- 
 sons been so far attained, as to cause a lan- 
 guage similar to this : " Though He slay me, 
 yet will I trust in him." Ah ! my dear 
 friend, hard would it be to relate the deep 
 distress through which this poor soul has 
 waded, and in which it continues plunged. 
 Though I find I have mentioned more than 
 I intended, and almost chide myself, causing 
 thee thereby to partake of my sufferings, yet 
 I write not to give pain; no, but feeling 
 myself desolate and forlorn, the billows daily 
 rising higher, and the inhabitant of this 
 earthly tabernacle almost swallowed by the 
 
I4g 
 
 overflowing surges, 1 thought to write thee 
 a few lines (knowing thee to be a father in 
 Israel, and encouraged thereto by thy writ- 
 ing to my beloved mother), that if such a 
 poor worthless worm was still retained in 
 remembrance, perhaps the moment might 
 arrive, wherein she who cannot plead for 
 herself, might be pleaded for at the footstool 
 of mercy, that faith and patience fail not, 
 
 Judith Usshek. 
 
lU 
 
 Susanna, the youngest sister, died of a 
 consumption, early in the year 1798, aged 
 nearly fifteen years. 
 
 This dear child was sweetly- taught in the 
 school of her dear Lord; she was drawn 
 into great simplicity, and evinced that Truth 
 leads into plainness. Her bodily sufferings 
 were great, but He who thus was pleased to 
 carry on the work of purification, supported 
 her. 
 
 A few days (if not the day) before her 
 final removal, — being with her mother, — she 
 expressed nearly this language : " Mother, I 
 am not afraid to die', but feel comforted to 
 be taken from the evil to come, which probar 
 bly I should not have power to resist." 
 
 In a letter to her mother when at Bristol, 
 is the following paragraph : " I am sure 
 
147 
 
 thine and dear Lucy's suflferings on" dear 
 Eliza's account are very, yery gre^it, but I 
 believe the Lord, in his great mercy, will 
 support all those that trust in Him alone" 
 
 The following lines were fpund among her 
 papers, written in her own hand : — 
 
 " Many are the trials and the conflicts the 
 spiritual mind has to sustain, before it can 
 enter the promised land, but if it endure to 
 the end, it shall obtain the prize. 
 
 "The foundation of God standeth sure, 
 having this precious and unbroken seal, 
 ' The Lord knoweth them that are his.' 
 Strive manfully to enter into the straight 
 gate, for many are the hindrances and beset- 
 ments with which the adversary of the 
 soul's happiness will invade it, and endeavor 
 to turn it iuto the broad road of eternal de- 
 struction. 
 
 " bring more and more of thy children 
 under thy yoke ; make them think thy yoke 
 easy, and thy burden light ; make them fol- 
 low thee and thy faithful ones forever and 
 
148 
 
 ever. Have iheircy and forgive the sins of 
 thy children, and the outsteppings of thy 
 chosen ones. Encourage, Lord, I beseech 
 thee, them that are heavy laden, help them 
 through the waters of affliction, support 
 them over all that it is thy will to put upon 
 them : Thou wilt have mercy and not sacri- 
 fice : Thou wilt have compassion on the 
 children of men; look down with com- 
 passion upon them, for thou art merciful, 
 long-suffering, patient in mercy !" 
 
 THE END. 
 

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