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CORNELL 
 
 UNIVERSITY 
 
 LIBRARY 
 
 THE 
 
 ANNA S. GURLEY 
 
 MEMORIAL BOOK FUND 
 
 FOR THE PURCHASE OF BOOKS 
 IN THE FIELD OF THE DRAMA 
 
 THE GIFT OF 
 
 William F. E. Gurley 
 
 CLASS OF 1877 
 1935 
 
_ Cornell University Library 
 
 PR 4074.K5 1920 
 
 A kiss for Cinderella, a comedy 
 
 3 1924 013 211 374 
 
The original of tliis book is in 
 tlie Cornell University Library. 
 
 There are no known copyright restrictions in 
 the United States on the use of the text. 
 
 http://www.archive.org/details/cu31924013211374 
 
THE UNIFORM EDITION OF 
 THE PLAYS OF J. M. BARRIE 
 
 A KISS 
 FOR CINDERELLA 
 
THE WORKS OF J. M. BARRIE. 
 
 NOVELS, STORIES, AND SKETCHES. 
 Uniform Edition. 
 
 AITLD LICHT IDYLLS. BETTER DEAD. 
 
 WHEN A MAN'S SINGLE. 
 
 A WINDOW IN THRUMS, AN EDINBDRGH 
 
 ELEVEN. 
 THE LITTLE MINISTER. 
 SENTIMENTAL TOMMY. 
 MY LADY NICOTINE. MARGARET OGILVY. 
 TOMMY AND GRIZEL. 
 THE LITTLE WHITE BIRD. 
 PETER AND WENDY. 
 Also 
 
 HALF HOURS. DER TAG. 
 ECHOES OF WAR. 
 
 PLA YS. 
 Uniform Edition. 
 
 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 ALICE SIT-BY-THE-FIRE. 
 
 WHAT EVERY WOMAN KNOWS. 
 
 QUALITY STREET. 
 
 THE ADMIRABLE CRICHTON. 
 
 ECHOES OF THE WAR. 
 
 Containing: THE OLD LADY SHOWS HER 
 MEDALS — THE HEW WORD — BAR- 
 BARA'S WEDDING— A WELL-REMEM- 
 BERED VOICE. 
 
 HALF HOURS. 
 Containing: PANTALOON— THE TWELVE- 
 POUND LOOK— ROSALIND— THE WILL. 
 
 Others in Preparation. 
 INDIVIDUAL EDITIONS. 
 
 PETER PAN IN KENSINGTON GARDENS. 
 
 Illustrated by AiiiHnE Racehau. 
 PETER AND WENDY. 
 
 Illustrated by F. D. Bedfoed. 
 TOMMY AND GRIZEL. 
 
 Illustrated by Eernass Partridge. 
 MARGARET OGILVY. 
 
 #\ For particulars concerning The Thistle 
 Edition of the Works of J. M. Barrie, sold only 
 by subscription, send for circular. 
 
 NEW YORK: CHARLES SCRIBNER'S SONS 
 
THE PLAYS OF 
 J. M. BARRIE 
 
 A KISS 
 FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 A COMEDY 
 
 CHARLES SCRIBNER'S SONS 
 
 NEW YORK ::::::::: 1920 
 
COPTKISHT, 1920, BT 
 
 J. M. BABBIE 
 
 All rights reserved under the International Copyright Act. 
 Performance forbidden and right of representation reserved. 
 Application for the right of performing this play must be 
 piade to Charles Frohman, Inc., Empire Theatre, New York. 
 
Th£ least distinguished person in 'Who's Who' has 
 escaped, as it were, from thai fashionable crush, and 
 is spending a quiet evening at home. He is curled 
 up in his studio, which is so dark that he would be 
 invisible, had we not obligingly placed his wicker chair 
 just where the one dim ray from the stove may strike 
 his face. His eyes are closed luxuriously, and we 
 could not learn much about him unthoui first poking 
 our fingers into them. According to the tome men- 
 tioned (to which we must return him before morning'), 
 Mr. Bodie is sixty-three, has exhibited in the Royal 
 Academy, and is at present unmarried. They do 
 not proclaim him comparatively obscure: they left 
 it indeed to him to say the final word on this subject, 
 and he has hedged. Let us put it in this way, that he 
 occupies more space in his wicker chair than in the 
 book, where nevertheless he looks as if it was rather 
 lonely not to be a genius. He is a painter for the 
 nicest of reasons, that it is delightful to live and die in 
 a messy studio; for our part, we too should have 
 become a painter had it not been that we always lost 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 our paint-box. There is no spirited bidding to acquire 
 Mr. Bodie's canvases : he loves them at first sight 
 himself, and has often got up in the night to see how 
 they are faring ; but ultimately he has turned cold to 
 them, and has even been hnovm to offer them, in lieu 
 of alms, to beggars, who departed cursing. We have 
 a weakness for persons who don't get on, and so cannot 
 help adding, though it is no business of ours, that 
 Mr. Bodie had private means. Curled up in his 
 wicker chair he is rather like an elderly cupid. We 
 vrish we could warn him that the policeman is coming. 
 
 The policeman comes : in his hand the weapon 
 that has knocked down more malefactors than aU the 
 batons — the bull's-eye. He strikes with it now, right 
 and left, revealing, as if she had just entered the room, 
 a replica of the Venus of Milo, taller than himself 
 though he is stalwart. It is the first meeting of these 
 two, but, though a man who can come to the boil, he is 
 as little moved by her as she by him. After the first 
 glance she continues her reflections. Her smile over 
 his head vaguely displeases him. For two pins he 
 would arrest her. 
 
 The lantern finds another object, more worthy of his 
 attention, the artist. Mr. Bodie is more restive under 
 the light than was his goddess, perhaps because he is less 
 accustomed to being stared at. He blinks and sitspip. 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 MR. BODiE {giving his visitor a lesson in 
 manners). I beg your pardon, oflScer. 
 
 POLICEMAN (confounded). Not that, sir; not 
 at all. 
 
 MR. BODIE (pressing his advantage). But I 
 insist on begging your pardon, oflScer. 
 POLICEMAN. I don't see what for, sir. 
 MR. BODIE (fancying himself). For walking 
 uninvited into the abode of a law-abiding London 
 citizen, with whom I have not the pleasure of 
 being acquainted. 
 
 POLICEMAN (after thinking this out) . But I 'm 
 the one as has done that, sir. 
 
 MR. BODIE (vnih neat surprise). So you are, 
 I beg your pardon, officer. 
 
 (With pardonable pride in himself mb. 
 BODIE turns on the light. The studio, as 
 we can now gather from its sloped roof, is 
 at the top of a house ; and its window is 
 heavily screened, otherwise we might see 
 the searchlights through it, showing that we 
 are in the period of the great war. Though 
 no one speaks of Mr. Bodie's pictures as 
 Bodies, which is the true test of fame, he is 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 sufficiently eminent not to have works of 
 art painted or scratched on his walls, mercy 
 has been shown even to the panels of his 
 door, and he is handsomely stingy of drap- 
 eries. The Venus stands so prominent 
 that the studio is evidently hers rather than 
 his. The stove has been brought forward 
 so that he can rest his feet on it, which ever 
 of his easy chairs he is sitting in, and he 
 also falls over it at times when stepping back 
 to consider his latest failure. On a shelf is 
 a large stuffed penguin, which is to be one 
 of the characters in the play, and on each 
 side of this shelf are two or three tattered 
 magazines. We had hankered after giving 
 Mr. Bodie many rows of books, but were 
 well aware that he would get only blocks of 
 wood so cleverly painted to look like books 
 that they would deceive everyone except the 
 audience. Everything may be real on the 
 stage except the books. So there are only 
 a few magazines in the studio {and very 
 likely when the curtain rings up it will be 
 found that they are painted too). But 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 Mr. Bodie was a reader ; he had books in 
 another room, and the careworn actor must 
 suggest this by his manner. 
 
 Our 'policeman is no bookman ; we who 
 write happen to have it from himself that he 
 had not boughi a book since he squeezed 
 through the sixth standard : very tight was 
 his waist that day, he told us, and he had to 
 let out every button. Nevertheless it was 
 literature of a sort that first brought him into 
 our ken. He was our local constable : and 
 common interests, as in the vagaries of the 
 moon, gradually made him and us cease to 
 look at each other askance. We fell into the 
 way of chatting with him and giving him 
 the evening papers we had bought to read as 
 we crossed the streets. One qf his duties 
 was to herd the vagrant populace under our 
 arches during airraids, and at such times 
 he could be properly gruff, yet comforting, 
 like one who would at once run in any bomb 
 that fell- in his beat. When he had all his 
 flock nicely plastered against the dank walls 
 he would occasionally come to rest beside us. 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 and thaw, and discuss the newspaper 
 article that had interested him most. It 
 was seldom a war-record ; more frequently 
 it was something on the magazine page, such 
 as a symposium by the learned on ' Do you 
 Believe in Love at First Sight?' Though 
 reticent in many matters he would face this 
 problem openly; with the guns cracking all 
 around, he would ash for our views vristfully; 
 he spoke of love without a blush, as some- 
 thing recognised officially at Scotland Yard. 
 At this time he had been in love, to his own 
 knowledge, for several weeks, but whether 
 the god had struck him at first sight he was 
 not certain ; he was most anxious to know, 
 and it was in the hope of our being able to 
 help him out that he told us his singular 
 story. On his face at such times was often 
 an amazed look, as if he were staring at her 
 rather than at us, and seeing a creaiure 
 almost beyond belief. Our greatest success 
 was in saying that perhaps she had fallen 
 in love at first sight with him, which on 
 reflection nearly doubled him up. He 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 insisted on knowing what had made us put 
 forward this extraordinary suggestion ; he 
 would indeed scarcely leave our company 
 that night, and discussed the possibility with 
 us very much as if it were a police case. 
 
 Our policeman's romance, now to be told, 
 began, as we begin, with his climbing up 
 into Mr, Bodie's studio. Mr. Bodie having 
 turned on the light gave him the nasty 
 look that means 'And now, my man, what 
 can I do for you?' Our policeman, how- 
 ever, was not one to be worsted without 
 striking a blow. He strode to the door, as 
 he has told us, and pointed to a light in 
 the passage. 
 POLICEMAN (in his most brow-beating voice, so 
 well knovm under the arches). Look here, sir, 
 it 's that. 
 MK. BODIE. I don't follow. 
 POLICEMAN. Look at that passage window. 
 {With natural pride in language.) You are 
 showing too much illumination. 
 BODIE. Oh! well, surely — 
 POLICEMAN {vnth professional firmness): It 's 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 agin the regulations. A party in the neigh- 
 bouring skylight complains. 
 
 BODiE (putting out the light). If that 
 will do for to-night, I '11 have the window 
 boarded up. 
 
 POLICEMAN. Anything so long as it obscures 
 the illumination. 
 
 BODIE (irritated). Shuts out the light. 
 
 POLICEMAN (determinedly). Obscures the il- 
 lumination. 
 
 BODIE (on reflection). I remember now, I did 
 have that window boarded up. 
 
 POLICEMAN (who hos Mmself a pretty vein of 
 sarcasm). I don't see the boards. 
 
 BODIE. Nor do I see the boards. (Pondering.) 
 Can she have boned them? 
 
 POLICEMAN. She? (He is at once aware that 
 it has become a more difficult case.) 
 
 BODIE. You are right. She is scrupulously 
 honest, and if she took the boards we may be 
 sure that I said she could have them. But that 
 only adds to the mystery. 
 
 POLICEMAN (obligingly). Mystery? 
 
 BODIE. Why this passion for collecting 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 boards? Try her with a large board, officer. 
 Extraordinary ! 
 
 POLICEMAN (heavily). I don't know what you 
 are talking about, sir. Are you complaining of 
 some woman ? 
 
 BODiE. Now that is the question. Am I? 
 As you are here, officer, there is something I 
 want to say to you. But I should dislike getting 
 her into trouble. 
 
 POLICEMAN (stoutly) . No man what is a man 
 wants to get a woman into trouble unnecessary. 
 
 BODIE (much struck). That 's true ! That 's 
 absolutely true, officer. 
 
 POLICEMAN {badgered). It 's true, but there 's 
 nothing remarkable about it. 
 
 BODIE. Excuse me. 
 
 POLICEMAN. See here, sir, I 'm just an 
 ordinary policeman. 
 
 BODIE. I can't let that pass. If I may say 
 so, you have impressed me most deeply. I 
 wonder if I might ask a favour of you. Would 
 you mind taking oflf your helmet? As it hap- 
 pens, I have never seen a policeman without 
 his helmet. 
 
10 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 {The 'perplexed officer 'puts Ms helmet on 
 the table.) 
 
 Thank you. {Studying the effect.) Of course 
 I knew they took off. You sit also? 
 {The policeman sits.) 
 
 Very interesting. 
 
 POLICEMAN. About this woman, sir — 
 
 BODIE. We are coming to her. Perhaps I 
 ought to tell you my name — Mr. Bodie. {In- 
 dicating the Venus.) This is Mrs. Bodie. No, 
 I am not married. It is merely a name given 
 her because she is my ideal. 
 
 POLICEMAN. You gave me a turn. 
 
 BODIE. Now that I think of it, I believe the 
 name was given to her by the very woman we 
 are talking about. 
 
 POLICEMAN {'producing his note hook). To 
 begin with, who is the woman we are talking 
 about .3 
 
 BODIE (becoming more serious). On the sur- 
 face, she is just a little drudge. These studios 
 are looked after by a housekeeper, who employs 
 this girl to do the work. 
 
 POLICEMAN. H'm ! Sleeps on the premises .? 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 11 
 
 BODiE. No; she is here from eight to six. 
 
 POLICEMAN. Place of abode? 
 
 BODIE. She won't tell anyone that. 
 
 POLICEMAN. Aha! What 'S the party's 
 name? 
 
 BODIE. Cinderella. 
 
 {The POLICEMAN vorites it down unmoved. 
 MR. BODIE twinkles.) 
 
 Haven't you heard that name before? 
 
 POLICEMAN. Can't say I have, sir. But I '11 
 make inquiries at the Yard. 
 
 BODIE. It was really I who gave her that 
 name, because she seemed such a poor little 
 neglected waif. After the girl in the story-book, 
 you know. 
 
 POLICEMAN. No, sir, I don't know. In the 
 Force we find it impossible to keep up with 
 current fiction. 
 
 BODIE. She was a girl with a broom. There 
 must have been more in the story than that, but 
 I forget the rest. 
 
 POLICEMAN. The point is, that 's not the 
 name she calls herself by. 
 
 BODIE. Yes, indeed it is. I think she was 
 
12 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 called something else when she came, Miss 
 Thing, or some such name; but she took to the 
 name of Cinderella with avidity, and now she 
 absolutely denies that she ever had any 
 other. 
 
 POLICEMAN. Parentage ? 
 
 BODiE (now interested in his tale). That 's 
 another odd thing. I seem to remember vaguely 
 her telling me that her parents when alive were 
 very humble persons indeed. Touch of Scotch 
 ' about her, I should say — ^perhaps from some 
 distant ancestor; but Scotch words and phrases 
 still stick to the Cockney child like bits of egg- 
 shell to a chicken. 
 
 POLICEMAN (toriting). Egg-shell to chicken. 
 
 BODIE. I find, however, that she has lately 
 been telling the housekeeper quite a diflEerent 
 story. 
 
 POLICEMAN (like a counsel). Proceed. 
 
 BODIE. According to this, her people were of 
 considerable position — a Baron and Baroness, 
 in fact, 
 
 POLICEMAN. Proceed. 
 
 BODIE. The, only other relatives she seems 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 13 
 
 to have mentioned are two sisters of unpre- 
 possessing appearance. 
 
 POLICEMAN {cleverly). If this story is correct, 
 what is she doing here? 
 
 BODiE. I understand there is something 
 about her father having married again, and her 
 being badly treated. She doesn't expect this 
 to last. It seems that she has reason to believe 
 that some very remarkable change may take 
 place in her circumstances at an early date, at 
 a ball for which her godmother is to get her 
 what she calls an invite. This is evidently to 
 be a very swagger function at which something 
 momentous is to occur, the culminating moment 
 being at midnight. 
 
 POLICEMAN (writing). Godmother. Invite. 
 Twelve p.m. Fishy ! Tell me about them 
 boards now. 
 
 BODIE (who is evidently fond of the child) . You 
 can't think how wistful she is to get hold of 
 boards. She has them on the brain. Carries 
 them oflF herself into the unknown. 
 
 POMCEMAN. I daresay she breaks them up 
 for firewood. 
 
14 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 BODiE. No; she makes them into large boxes. 
 
 POLICEMAN {sagaciously). Very likely to keep 
 things in. , 
 
 BODIE. She has admitted that she keeps 
 things in them. But what things? Ask her 
 that, and her mouth shuts like a trap. 
 
 POLICEMAN. Any suspicions? 
 
 (me. BODIE hesitates. It seems absurd to 
 sus'pect this waif — and yet !) 
 
 BODIE. I 'm sorry to say I have. I don't 
 know what the things are, but I do know they 
 are connected in some way with Germany. 
 
 POLICEMAN {darkly). Proceed. 
 
 BODIE {really troubled). OflScer, she is too 
 curious about Germany. 
 
 POLICEMAN. That 's bad. 
 
 BODIE. She plies me with questions about it 
 — not openly — ^very cunningly. 
 
 POLICEMAN. Such as — ? 
 
 BODIE. For instance, what would be the 
 punishment for an English person caught hiding 
 aliens in this country? 
 
 POLICEMAN. If she 's up to games of that 
 kind — 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 15 
 
 BODiE. Does that shed any light on the boxes, 
 do you think ? 
 
 POLICEMAN. She can't keep them shut up in 
 boxes. 
 
 BODIE. I don't know. She is extraordinarily 
 dogged. She knows a number of German words. 
 
 POLICEMAN. That 's ugly. 
 
 BODIE. She asked me lately how one could 
 send a letter to Germany without Lord Haig 
 knowing. By the way, do you, by any chance, 
 know anything against a firm of dressmakers 
 called Celeste et Cie. ? 
 
 POLICEMAN. Celest A. C? No, but it has 
 a German sound. 
 
 BODIE. It 's French. 
 
 POLICEMAN. Might be a blind. 
 
 BODIE. I think she lives at Celeste's. Now 
 I looked up Celeste et Cie. in the telephone book, 
 and I find they are in Bond Street. Immensely 
 fashionable. 
 
 POLICEMAN. She lives in Bond Street ? Lon- 
 don 's full of romance, sir, to them as knows 
 where to look for it — ^namely, the police. Is she 
 on the premises ? 
 
16 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 BODiE (reliictantly) . Sure to be ; it isn't six yet. 
 
 POLICEMAN (in his most terrible voice). Well, 
 leave her to me. 
 
 BODIE. You mustn't frighten her. I can't 
 help liking her. She 's so extraordinarily 
 homely that you can't be with her many min- 
 utes before you begin thinking of your early 
 days. Where were you born, officer? 
 
 POLICEMAN. I 'm from Badgery. 
 
 BODIE. She '11 make you think of Badgery. 
 
 POLICEMAN (frowning). She had best try no 
 games on me. 
 
 BODIE. She will have difficulty in answering 
 questions; she is so used to asking them. I 
 never knew a child with such an appetite for 
 information. She doesn't search for it in books; 
 indeed the only book of mine I can remember 
 ever seeing her read, was a volume of fairy tales. 
 
 POLICEMAN (stupidly). Well, that don't help 
 us much. What kind of questions.'' 
 
 BODIE. Every kind. What is the Censor? 
 Who is Lord Times ? — she has heard people here 
 talking of that paper and its proprietor, and has 
 mixed them up in the quaintest way; then again 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 17 
 
 — when a tailor measures a gentleman's legs 
 what does he mean when he says — 26, 4 — 32, 11 ? 
 What are doctors up to when they tell you to 
 say 99? In finance she has an almost morbid 
 interest in the penny. 
 
 POLICEMAN. The penny? It 's plain the 
 first thing to find out is whether she 's the slavey 
 she seems to be, or a swell in disguise. 
 
 BODiE. You won't find it so easy. 
 
 POLICEMAN. Excuse me, sir; we have an 
 infalla^ble way at Scotland Yard of finding out 
 whether a woman is common or a lady. 
 
 BODIE (irritated). An infallible way. 
 
 POLICEMAN {firmly). Infallayable. 
 
 BODIE. I should like to know what it is. 
 
 POLICEMAN. There is nothing against my 
 telling you. {He settles down to a masterly cross- 
 examination.) Where, sir, does a common 
 female keep her valuables when she carries 
 them about on her person ? 
 
 BODIE. In her pocket, I suppose. 
 
 POLICEMAN. And you suppose correctly. 
 But where does a lady keep them? 
 
 BODIE. In the same place, I suppose. 
 
18 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 POLICEMAN. Then you suppose wrongly. No, 
 sir, here. {He taps his own chest, and indicates 
 discreetly how a lady may pop something down 
 out of sight.) 
 
 BODiE (impressed). I believe you are right, 
 oflScer. 
 
 POLICEMAN. I am right — ^it 's infallayble. 
 A lady, what with drink and such like misfor- 
 tunes, may forget all her other refinements, but 
 she never forgets that. At the Yard it 's con- 
 sidered as sure as finger-marks. 
 
 BODIE. Strange! I wonder who was the 
 first woman to do it. It couldn't have been 
 Eve this time, officer. 
 
 POLICEMAN (after reflecting). I see your point. 
 And now I want just to have a look at the party 
 unbeknownst to her. Where could I conceal 
 myself ? 
 
 BODIE. Hide? 
 
 POLICEMAN. Conceal myself. 
 
 BODIE. That small door opens on to my 
 pantry, where she washes up. 
 
 POLICEMAN (peeping in). It will do. Now 
 bring her up. 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 19 
 
 BODiE. It doesn't seem fair — ^I really can't — 
 POLICEMAN. War-time, sir. 
 
 (mk. BODIE decides that it is patriotic to 
 ring. The policeman emerges from the 
 pantry vnih a slavey's hat and jacket.) 
 These belong to the party, sir? 
 BODIE. I forgot. She keeps them in there. 
 (He surveys the articles vyith some emotion.) 
 Gaudy feathers. And yet that hat may have 
 done some gallant things. The brave apparel 
 of the very poor! Who knows, oflficer, that 
 you and I are not at this moment on rather holy 
 ground. 
 
 POLICEMAN {stoutly). I See nothing wrong 
 with the feathers. I must say, sir, I like the 
 feathers. 
 
 {He slips into the pantry with the hat and 
 jacket, hut forgets his helmet, over which the 
 artist hastily jams a flower bowl. There 
 were visiting cards in the bowl and they 
 are scattered on the floor, mk. bodie sees 
 them not: it is his first attempt at the con- 
 spirator, and he sits guiltily with a cigarette 
 just in time to deceive cindebella, who 
 
20 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 charges into the room as from a catapuU. 
 This is her usual mode of entrance, and is 
 awing to her desire to give satisfaction.) 
 
 Our "policeman, as he has told us under 
 the arches, was watching her through the 
 keyhole, but his first impressions have been 
 so coloured by subsequent events that it is 
 questionable whether they would be accepted 
 in any court of law. Is prepared to depose 
 that to the best of his recollection, they were 
 unfavourable. Does not imply by un- 
 favourable any aspersion on her personal 
 appearance. Would accept the phrase 'far 
 from striking' as summing up her first 
 appearance. Would no longer accept the 
 phrase. Had put her down as being a 
 grown woman, but not suffidenlly grown. 
 Thought her hair looked to be run up her 
 finger. Did not like this way of doing the 
 hair. Could not honestly say that she 
 seemed even then to be an ordinary slavey 
 of the areas. She was dressed as one, but 
 was suspiciously clean. On the other hand, 
 she had the genuine hungry look. Among 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 21 
 
 more disquieting features noticed a sort of 
 refinement in her voice and manner, which 
 was characteristic of the criminal classes. 
 Knew now that this was caused by the 
 reading of fairy tales and the thinking of 
 noble thoughts. Noted speedily that she 
 was a domineering character who talked 
 sixteen to the dozen, and at such times re- 
 minded him of funny old ladies. Was 
 much struck by her eyes, which seemed to 
 suggest that she was all burning inside. 
 This impression was strengthened later 
 when he touched her hands. Felt at once 
 the curious 'homeliness' of her, as com- 
 mented on by Mr. Bodie, but could swear 
 on oath that this had not at once made him 
 think of Badgery. Could recall not the 
 slightest symptoms of love at first sight. 
 On the contrary, listened carefully to the 
 conversation between her and Mr. Bodie 
 and formed a stem conclusion about her. 
 Believed that this was all he could say 
 about his first impression. 
 CINDERELLA (breathlessly) . Did you rang, sir ? 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 BODiE (ashamed). Did I? I did — ^but — I — 
 I don't know why. If you 're a good servant, 
 you ought to know why. 
 
 (The cigarette, disgusted vnth him, falls 
 
 from his mouth; and his little servant 
 
 flings up her hands to heaven.) 
 
 CINDERELLA, (taking pqssession of him) . There 
 
 you go again ! Fifty years have you been at it, 
 
 and you can't hold a seegarette in your mouth 
 
 yet ! (She sternly produxxs the turpentine.) 
 
 BODIE (in sudden alarm) . I won't be brushed. 
 I will not be scraped. 
 
 CINDERELLA (twisting him round). Just look 
 at that tobaccy ash ! And I cleaned you up so 
 pretty before luncheon. 
 
 BODIE. I will not be cleaned again. 
 CINDERELLA (in her element). Keep stiU. 
 (She brushes, scrapes, and turpentines him. 
 In the glory of this she tosses her head at 
 the Venus.) 
 I gave Mrs. Bodie a good wipe down this 
 morning with soap and water. 
 
 BODIE (indignant). That is a little too much. 
 You know quite well I allow no one to touch her. 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 23 
 
 (CINDERELLA. Uaves Mm and gazes in 
 irritation at the statue.) 
 
 CINDERELLA. What is it about the woman ? 
 
 BODiE {in his heat forgetting the policeman). 
 She is the glory of glories. 
 
 CINDERELLA {who wouM be wilUywy if she were 
 long enough). She 's thick. 
 
 BODIE. Her measurements are perfection. 
 All women long to be like her, but none ever 
 can be. 
 
 CINDERELLA (insisting). I suppose that 's the 
 reason she has that snigger on her face. 
 
 BODIE. That is perhaps the smile of mother- 
 hood. Some people think there was once a baby 
 in her arms. 
 
 CINDERELLA (vnth a new interest in Venv^). 
 Her own ? 
 
 BODIE. I suppose so. 
 
 CINDERELLA. A married woman then ? 
 
 BODIE (nonplussed). Don't ask trivial ques- 
 tions. 
 
 ciisTDERELLA (gencrously) . It was clever of 
 you to make her. 
 
 BODIE. I didn't make her. I was — fore- 
 
24 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 stalled. Some other artist chappie did it. {He 
 likes his little maid again.) She was dug up, 
 Cinderella, after lying hidden in the ground for 
 more than a thousand years. 
 
 ciNDEEELLA. And the baby gone? 
 
 BODiE (snapping). Yes. 
 
 CINDERELLA. If I had lost my baby I wouldn't 
 have been found with that pleased look on my 
 face, not in a thousand years. 
 
 BODIE. Her arms were broken, you see, so 
 she had to drop the baby — 
 
 CINDERELLA. She could havc up with her 
 knee and catched it — 
 
 BODIE (excitedly). By heavens, that may just 
 be what she is doing. (He contemplates a letter 
 to the ' Times.') 
 
 CINDERELLA (little awarc thai she may have 
 solved the question of the ages) . Beauty 's a grand 
 thing. 
 
 BODIE. It is. 
 
 CINDERELLA. I Warrant she led them a pretty 
 dance in her day. 
 
 BODIE. Men ? 
 
 CINDERELLA. Umpha ! (wistfully). It must 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 25 
 
 be fine to have men so mad about you that they 
 go oflF their feed and roar. (She turns with a sigh 
 to the dusting of the penguin.) What did you 
 say this is ? 
 
 BODiE (ignorant of what he is letting himself in 
 for). A bishop. 
 
 CINDERELLA (nearly choking). The sort that 
 marries swell couples ? 
 
 BODIE. Yes. 
 
 CINDERELLA (huskUy, as if it made all the differ- 
 ence to her). I never thought of that. 
 
 BODIE (kindly). Why should you, you queer 
 little waif. Do you know why I call you 
 Cinderella ? 
 
 CINDERELLA. Fine, I know. 
 
 BODIE. Why is it? 
 
 CINDERELLA (vjith shy happiness) . It 's be- 
 cause I have such pretty feet. 
 
 BODIE. You dear little innocent. (He thinks 
 shame of his suspicions. He is planning how 
 to get rid of the man in tjie pantry when she brings 
 him hack to hard facts vnth a bump.) 
 
 CINDERELLA (in a whispcr). Mr. Bodie, if you 
 \vanted to get into Buckingham Palace on the 
 
26 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 dodge, how would you slip by the policeman? 
 {she wrings her hands) . The police is everywhere 
 in war-time. 
 
 BODiE {conscious how near one of them is). 
 They are — ^be Careful, Cinderella. 
 
 CINDERELLA. I am — oh, I am! If you 
 knew the precautions I 'm taking — 
 
 BODIE {miserable). Sh! 
 
 CINDERELLA {now in a quiver) . Mr. Bodie, you 
 haven't by any chance got an invite for to-night, 
 have you ? 
 
 BODIE. What for? 
 
 CINDERELLA {os stiU OS the Vernis). For — ^for 
 a ball. 
 
 BODIE. There are no balls in war-time. 
 
 CINDERELLA {dogged). Just the one. Mr. 
 Bodie, did you ever see the King? 
 
 BODIE. The King? Several times. 
 
 CINDERELLA {as white as the Venus). Was the 
 Prince of Wales with him ? 
 
 BODIE. Once. 
 
 CINDERELLA. What 's he like ? 
 
 BODIE. Splendid ! Quite young, you know. 
 He 's not married. 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 27 
 
 CINDERELLA {with ttwful intensity). No, not 
 yet. 
 
 BODiE. I suppose he is very diflScult to satisfy. 
 
 CINDERELLA {knitting her lips). He has never 
 seen the feet that pleased him. 
 
 BODIE. Cinderella, your pulse is galloping. 
 You frighten me. What possesses you? 
 
 CINDERELLA {after hesitating). There is some- 
 thing I want to teU you. Maybe I '11 not be 
 coming back after to-night. She has paid me 
 up to to-night. 
 
 BODIE. Is she sending you away ? 
 
 CINDERELLA. No. I 've sort of givcu notice. 
 
 BODIE {disappointed). You 've got another 
 place ? 
 
 {She shuts her mouth like a box.) 
 
 Has it anything to do with the Godmother 
 business ? 
 
 {Her mouth remains closed. He barks 
 at her.) 
 
 Don't then. {He reconsiders her.) I like 
 you, you know. 
 
 CINDERELLA {gleaming). It 's fine to be liked. 
 
 BODIE. Have you a lonely life? 
 
28 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 ciNDEBELLA. It 's kind of lonely. 
 
 BODiE. You won't tell me about your home ? 
 (She shakes her head.) 
 
 Is there any nice person to look after you in 
 the sort of way in which you look after me ? 
 
 CINDERELLA. I 'm all alone. There 's just 
 me and my feet. 
 
 BODIE. If you go I '11 miss you. We 've 
 had some good times here, Cinderella, haven't 
 we? 
 
 CINDERELLA, (rapturously) . We have! You 
 mind that chop you gave me ? Hey, hey, hey ! 
 (considering it judicially). That was the most 
 charming chop I ever saw. And many is the 
 lick of soup you 've given me when you thought 
 I looked down-like. Do you mind the chicken 
 that was too high for you? You give me the 
 whole chicken. That was a day. 
 
 BODIE. I never meant you to eat it. 
 
 CINDERELLA. I didn't eat it all myself. I 
 shared it with them. 
 
 BODIE (inquisitively). With them? With 
 whom? 
 
 (Her mouth shuts j>romptly, and he sulks. 
 
A KISS FOR CINDEBELLA 29 
 
 She picks up the visiting cards that litter 
 the floor.) 
 CINDERELLA. What a spill ! If you 're not 
 messing you 're spilling. Where 's the bowl? 
 (She lifts the bowl and discovers the helmet. 
 She is appalled.) 
 BODiE {in an agony of remorse pointing to the 
 door). Cinderella, quick ! 
 
 {Bvt our POLICEMAN has emerged and 
 barred the way.) 
 POLICEMAN (indicating that it is Mr. Bodie who 
 must go). If you please, sir. 
 
 BODIE. I won't ! Don't you dare to frighten 
 her. 
 
 POLICEMAN (settling the matter vnth the palm of 
 his hand). That will do. If I need you I '11 
 call you. 
 
 BODIE (flinching). Cinderella, it *s — it 's just 
 a form. I won't be far away. 
 (He departs reluctantly.) 
 POLICEMAN (sternly). Stand up. 
 CINDERELLA (o quaking figure, who has never 
 sat down). I 'm standing up. 
 POLICEMAN. Now, uo sauce. 
 
30 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 {He produces his note book. He is about to 
 make a powerful beginning when he finds 
 her eyes regarding the middle of his person.) 
 
 Now then, what are you staring at? 
 
 CINDERELLA (hotly). That 's a poor way to 
 polish a belt. If I was a oflScer I would think 
 shame of having my belt in that condition. 
 
 POLICEMAN {undoubtedly affected by her home- 
 liness though unconscious of it). It 's easy to 
 speak; it 's a miserable polish I admit, but mind 
 you, I 'm pretty done when my job 's over; and 
 I have the polishing to do myself. 
 
 CINDERELLA. You have no woman person.? 
 
 POLICEMAN. Not me. 
 
 CINDERELLA {vnth passiouote arms). If I had 
 that belt for half an hour ! 
 
 POLICEMAN. What would you use? 
 
 CINDERELLA. Spit. 
 
 POLICEMAN. Spit? That 's like what my 
 mother would have said. That was in Badgery, 
 where I was born. When I was a boy at Badgery 
 — He stops short. She has reminded him of 
 Badgery !) 
 
 CINDERELLA. What 's WTOUg? 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 31 
 
 POLICEMAN {heavily). How did you manage 
 that about Badgery ? 
 
 CINDERELLA. What? 
 
 POLICEMAN. Take care, prisoner. 
 
 {The word makes her shudder. He siis, 
 prepared to take notes.) 
 
 Name? 
 
 CINDERELLA. Cinderella. 
 
 POLICEMAN. Take care, Thing. Occupation, 
 if any ? 
 
 CINDERELLA (toith sorm pride). Tempary 
 help. 
 
 POLICEMAN. Last place? 
 
 CINDERELLA. 3 Robert Street. 
 
 POLICEMAN. Scotch ? 
 
 {Her mouth shuts.) 
 
 Ah, they '11 never admit that. Reason for 
 leaving ? 
 
 CINDERELLA. I had to go whcD the war 
 broke out. 
 
 POLICEMAN. Why dismissed ? 
 
 CINDERELLA {forlorn). They said I was a 
 luxury. 
 
 POLICEMAN (getting ready to pouruse). Now be 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 cautious* How do you spend your evenings 
 after you leave this building? 
 {Her mouth shuts.) 
 Have you another and secret. occupation? 
 
 {She blanches.) 
 Has it to do with boxes ? What do you keep 
 in those boxes ? Where is it that these goings- 
 on is going on? If you won't tell me, I 'm 
 willing to tell you. It 's at A. C. Celeste's . . . 
 In Bond Street, W. 
 
 {He has levelled his finger at her, bid it 
 
 is a pistol that does not go off. To his 
 
 chagrin she looks relieved. He tries hammer 
 
 blows.) 
 
 Are yoil living in guilty splendour ? How do 
 
 you come to know German words ? How many 
 
 German words do you think 7 know ? Just one, 
 
 espionage. What 's the German for 'six months 
 
 hard'? 
 
 {She is now crumpled, and here he would 
 do well to pause and stride up and 
 down the room. But he cannot leave well 
 alone.) 
 What 's this nonsense about your feet? 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 33 
 
 CINDERELLA {jplucMng up courage). It 's not 
 nonsense. 
 
 POLICEMAN. I see nothing particular about 
 your feet. 
 
 CINDERELLA. Then I 'm sorry for you. 
 
 POLICEMAN. What is it.? 
 
 CINDERELLA (softly US if it Were a line from the 
 Bible). Their exquisite smallness and perfect 
 shape. 
 
 POLICEMAN (loith a friendly glance at the Venus) . 
 For my part I 'm partial to big women with their 
 noses in the air. 
 
 CINDERELLA (stung). So is everybody (pathet- 
 ically). I 've tried. But it 's none so easy, 
 with never no butcher's meat in the house. 
 You 'U see where the su-perb shoulders and the 
 haughty manners come from if you look in shop 
 windows and see the whole of a cow turned 
 inside out and 'Delicious' printed on it. 
 
 POLICEMAN {always jvM) . There 's something 
 in that. 
 
 CINDERELLA (swelKng). But it doesn't matter 
 how fine the rest of you is if you doesn't have 
 small feet. 
 
34 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 POLICEMAN. I never gave feet a thought. 
 
 CINDERELLA. The swells think of nothing 
 else. (Exploding.) Wait till you are at the 
 Ball. Many a haughty beauty with superb 
 uppers will come sailing in — as sure of the prize 
 as if 'Delicious' was pinned on her — and then 
 forward steps the Lord Mayor, and, utterly dis- 
 regarding her uppers, he points to the bottom of 
 her skirt, and he says 'Lift!' and she has to 
 lift, and there 's a dead silence, and nothing to 
 be heard except the Prince crying 'Throw her 
 out!' 
 
 POLICEMAN (somewhat staggered by her knowl- 
 edge of the high life). What 's all this about a 
 ball? 
 
 (CINDERELLA sees she has said too much 
 and her mouth shuts.) 
 
 Was you ever at a ball? 
 
 ciNDERELiA (v}ith dignity). At any rate I 've 
 been at the Horse Show. 
 
 POLICEMAN. A ball 's not like a Horse Show. 
 
 CINDERELLA. You '11 see. 
 
 POLICEMAN (reverting to business). It all 
 comes to this, are you genteel, or common clay ? 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 35 
 
 CINDERELLA, (pertly). I leaves that to you. 
 
 POLICEMAN. You couldn't leave it in safer 
 hands. I want a witness to this. 
 
 CINDERELLA (startled). A witness! What 
 are you to do .'' 
 
 (With terrible self-confidence he has already 
 opened the door and beckoned, mr. bodie 
 comes in anxiously.) 
 
 POLICEMAN. Take note, sir. (With the affable 
 manner of a conjuror.) We are now about to 
 try a little experiment, the object being to 
 discover whether this party is genteel or common 
 clay. 
 
 CINDERELLA. Oh, Mr. Bodie, what is it.^ 
 
 BODIE (remembering what he has been told of the 
 Scotland Yard test). I don't like ... I won't 
 have it. 
 
 POLICEMAN. It gives her the chance of proving 
 once and for all whether she 's of gentle blood. 
 
 CINDERELLA (eagerly). Does it? 
 
 BODIE. I must forbid. . . . 
 
 CINDERELLA (wUh dreadful resolution). I 'm 
 ready. I wants to know myself. 
 
 POLICEMAN. Ve — ry well. Now then, I heard 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 you say that the old party downstairs had paid 
 you your wages to-day. 
 
 CINDERELLA. I sec nothing you can prove 
 by that. It was a half-week's wages — Is. 7d. 
 Of course I could see my way clearer if it had 
 been Is. 9d. 
 
 POLICEMAN. That 's neither here nor there. 
 We '11 proceed. Now, very likely you wrapped 
 the money up in a screw of paper. Did you? 
 (She is afraid of giving herself away.) 
 
 Thinking won't help you. 
 
 CINDERELLA. It 's my moucy. 
 
 BODIB. Nobody wants your money, Cinderella. 
 
 POLICEMAN. Answer me. Did you ? 
 
 CINDERELLA. YeS. 
 
 POLICEMAN. Say 'I did.' 
 
 CINDERELLA. I did. 
 
 POLICEMAN. And possibly for the sake of 
 greater security you tied a string roimd it — 
 did you ? 
 
 CINDERELLA. I did. 
 
 POLICEMAN {after a glance at Mr. Bodie to 
 indicate that the supreme moment has come) . You 
 then deposited the little parcel — where.? 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 37 
 
 BODiE (in an agony). Cinderella, be careful ! 
 {She is so dreading to do the wrong thing 
 that she can only stare. Finally, alas, she 
 produces the fatal packet from her pocket. 
 Quiet triumph of our policeman.) 
 
 BODIE. My poor child ! 
 
 CINDERELLA (not realising yet that she has given 
 herself away). What is it? Go on. 
 
 POLICEMAN. That '11 do. You can stand 
 down. 
 
 CINDERELLA. YoU 'vc foUnd OUt ? 
 
 POLICEMAN. I have. 
 
 CINDERELLA (breathless). And what am I? 
 POLICEMAN (kindly). I 'm sorry. 
 CINDERELLA. Am I — common clay.? 
 
 (They look considerately at the floor; she 
 bursts into tears and runs into the pantry, 
 shutting the door.) 
 POLICEMAN (toith melancholy sati^action) . It 's 
 infalloyble. 
 
 BODIE. At any rate it shows that there 's 
 nothing against her. 
 
 POLICEMAN (talcing him further from the pantry 
 door, in a low voice). I dunno. There 's some 
 
38 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 queer things. Where does she go when she 
 leaves this house? What about that ball? — 
 and her German connection ? — and them boards 
 she makes into boxes — and A. C. Celeste? 
 Well, I '11 find out. 
 
 BODiE (miserably) . What are you going to do ? 
 
 POLICEMAN. To track her when she leaves 
 here. I may have to adopt a disguise. I 'm a 
 masterpiece at that. 
 
 BODIE. Yes, but — 
 
 POMCEMAN (stamping about the floor with the 
 exaggerated tread of the Law). I 'II tell you the 
 rest outside. I must make her think that my 
 suspicions are — allayed. (He goes cunningly to 
 the pantry door and speaks in a laud voice.) Well, 
 sir, that satisfies me that she 's not the party I 
 was in search of, and so, with your permission, 
 I '11 bid you good evening. What, you 're going 
 out yourself ? Then I '11 be very happy to walk 
 part of the way with you. 
 
 (Nodding and winhmg, he goes off with 
 heavy steps, taking with him the reluctant 
 MR. BODIE, who like one mesmerised also 
 departs stamping. 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 39 
 
 MISS THING peeps out to make sure that 
 they are gone. She is wearing her hat and 
 jacket, which have restored her self-respect. 
 The tears have been disposed of with a lick 
 of the palm. She is again a valiant soul 
 who has had too many brushes with the 
 police not to be able to face another with a 
 tight lip. She is going, but she is not going 
 toiihoui her wooden board ; law or no law 
 she cannot do without wooden hoards. She 
 gets it from a corner where it has been art- 
 fully concealed. An imprudent glance at 
 the Venus again dispirits her. With a 
 tape she takes the Beauty's measurements 
 and then her own, with depressing results. 
 The Gods at last pity her, and advise an 
 examination of her rival's foot. Excur- 
 sions, alarms, transport. She compares 
 feet and is glorified. She slips off her shoe 
 and challenges Venus to put it on. Then, 
 wiih a derisive waggle of her foot at the 
 shamed goddess, the little enigma departs 
 on her suspicious business, little witting that 
 a masterpiece of a constable is on her track.) 
 
II 
 
 It is later in the evening of the same day, and this 
 is such a street as harbours London's poor. The 
 tcindows are so close to us thai we could tap on the 
 only one which shows a light. It is on the ground 
 floor, and makes a gallant attempt to shroud this light 
 with articles of apparel suspended within. Seen 
 as shadows through the blind, these are somehow very 
 Uke Miss Thing, and almost suggest thai she has been 
 hanging herself in several places in one of her bouts 
 of energy. The street is in darkness, save for the 
 meagre glow from a street lamp, whose glass is painted 
 red in obedience to war regulations. It is winter 
 time, and there is a sprinkling of snow on the 
 ground. 
 
 Our policeman appears in the street, not perhaps 
 for the first time this evening, and flashes his lantern 
 on the suspect's window, whose signboard {boards 
 again !) we now see bears this odd device. 
 Celeste et Cie. 
 
 The Penny Friend. 
 
 40 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 41 
 
 Not perhaps for the first time this evening he scratches 
 his head at it. Then he pounds off in pursuit of some 
 client who has jvM emerged tvith a pennyworth. We 
 may imagine the two of them in conversation in the next 
 street, the law putting leading questions. Meanwhile 
 the 'fourth ' waU of the establishment of Celeste dissolves, 
 but otherwise the street is as it was, and we are now in 
 the position of privileged persons looking in at her 
 unndow. It is a tiny room in which you could just 
 swing a cat, and here Cinderella swings cats all and 
 every evening. The chief pieces of furniture are a 
 table and a bench, both of which have a suspicious 
 appearance of having been made out of boards by some 
 handy character. There is a penny in the slot fireplace 
 which has evidently been lately fed, there is a piece of 
 carpet that has been beaten into nothingness, but is still 
 a carpet, there is a hearth rug of brilliant ra^s that is 
 probably gratified when your toes catch in it and you 
 are hurled against the wall. Two pictures — one of 
 them partly framed — strike a patriotic note, but they 
 may be there purposely to deceive. The room is lit 
 by a lamp, and at first sight presents no sinister aspect 
 unless it comes from four boxes nailed against the walls 
 some five or six feel from the floor. In appearance 
 they are not dissimilar to large grocery boxes, but 
 it is disquieting to note that one of them has been 
 
42 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 mended with the hoard we saw lately in Mr. Bodie's 
 stiidio. When our policeman comes, as come we 
 may he sure he will, the test of his acumen will be his 
 box action. 
 
 The persons in the room at present have either no 
 acumen or are familiar with the hoxes. There are 
 four of them, besides Cinderella, whom we catch in the 
 ad of adding to her means of livelihood. Celeste et Cie., 
 a name that has caught her delicate fancy while she 
 dashed through fashionable quarters, is the Penny 
 Friend because here everything is dispensed for that 
 romantic coin. It is evident that the fame of the 
 emporium has spread. Three would-be customers sit 
 on the bench awaiting their turn listlessly and as 
 genteelly unconscious of each other as society in a 
 dentist's dining-room, while in the centre is Cinderella 
 fitting an elderly gentleman with a new coat. There 
 are -pins in her mouth and white threads in the coat, 
 suggesting that this is not her first struggle with it, and 
 one of the difficvlties with which she has to contend is 
 that it has already evidently been the coat of a larger 
 man. Cinderella is far too astute a performer to let 
 it be seen that she has difficulties, however. She twists 
 and twirls her patron with careless aptitude, kneads 
 him if need he, and has him in a condition of pulp while 
 she mutters for her own encouragement and his in- 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 timidation the cryptic remarks employed by tailors, 
 as to the exact meaning of which she has already 
 probed Mr. Bodie. 
 
 CINDERELLA (wandering over her client vnth a 
 tape) . 35 — 14. (She consults a paper on the table.) 
 Yes, it 's 35—14. 
 
 {She pulls him out, contracts him and takes 
 his elbows measure.) 
 28 — 7; 41—12; 15 — 19. {There is something 
 vyrong, and she has to justify her handiwork.) You 
 was longer when you came on Monday. 
 
 GENTLEMAN {very moved by the importance of 
 the occasion). Don't be saying that. Missy. 
 
 CINDERELLA {pinning up the tails of his coat). 
 Keep still. 
 
 GENTLEMAN {loith unexpected spirit). I warns 
 you. Missy, I won't have it cut. 
 
 CINDERELLA {an urtist) . I '11 give you the bits. 
 GENTLEMAN. I prefers to wear them. 
 
 {She compares the coat with the picture of an 
 elegant dummy.) 
 Were you going to make me like that picture ? 
 
44 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 CINDERELLA. I had just Set my heart on 
 copying this one. It 's the Volupty. 
 
 GENTLEMAN (faint-hearted). I 'm thinkin' I 
 couldn't stand hke that man. 
 
 CINDERELLA (eagerly). Fine you could — with 
 
 just a little practice. I '11 let you see the effect. 
 
 (She bends one of his knees, extends an arm 
 
 and curves the other till he looks like a 
 
 graceful teapot. She 'puts his stick in one 
 
 hand and his hat in the other, and he is 
 
 now coquettishly saluting a lady.) 
 
 GENTLEMAN (carried away as he looks at himself 
 
 in a glass). By Gosh! Cut away, Missy 
 
 CINDERELLA. I '11 need one more try-on. 
 (Suddenly.) That 's to say if I 'm here. 
 
 GENTLEMAN (little Understanding the poignancy 
 of the remark). If it would be convenient to 
 you to have the penny now — 
 
 CINDERELLA. No, uot till I 've earned it. 
 It 's my rule. Good night to you, Mr. Jennings. 
 GENTLEMAN. Good night, Missy. 
 
 (We see him go out by the door and dis- 
 appear up the street.) 
 CINDERELLA (sharply). Next. 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 45 
 
 (An old woman comes to the table and 
 CINDERELLA politely pretends not to have 
 seen her sitting there.) 
 
 It 's Mrs. Maloney ! 
 
 MRS. M. Cinders, I have a pain. It 's like a 
 jag of a needle down my side. 
 
 CINDERELLA (toith a sinking, for she is secretly 
 afraid cf medical cases). Wait till I pop the 
 therm-mo-mometer in. It 's a real one. (She 
 says this vnth legitimate pride. She removes the 
 instrument from Mrs. Maloney's mouth after a 
 prudent interval,and is not certain what to do next.) 
 
 Take a deep breath. . . . Again. . . . Say 99. 
 (Her ear is against the patient's chest.) 
 
 MRS. M. 99. 
 
 CINDERELLA (ot o Venture). Oho! 
 
 MRS. M. It ain't there the pain is — it 's down 
 my side. 
 
 CINDERELLA (firmly). We never say 99 down 
 there. 
 
 MRS. M. What 's wrong wi' me? 
 
 CINDERELLA (candidly). I don't want for to 
 pretend, Mrs. Maloney, that the 99 is any 
 guidance to me. I can not find out what it 's 
 
46 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 for. I would make so bold as to call your com- 
 plaint muscular rheumatics if the pain came 
 when you coughed. But you have no cough. 
 
 MBS. M. (coming to close quarters). No, but he 
 has — my old man. It 's him that has the pains, 
 not me. 
 
 CINDERELLA (huH) . What for did you pretend 
 it was you ? 
 
 MBS. M. That was his idea. He was feared 
 you might stop his smoking. 
 
 CINBEBELLA. And SO I will. 
 
 MBS. M. What 's the treatment .'' 
 
 ciNPEBELLA {writing after consideration on a 
 jdece of paper). One of them mustard leaves. 
 
 MBS. M. (taking the paper). Is there no 
 medicine ? 
 
 ciNDEBELiA (faltering). I 'm a little feared 
 about medicine, Mrs. Maloney. 
 
 MBS. M. He '11 be a kind of low-spirited if 
 there 's not a lick of medicine. 
 
 ciNDEBELLA. Have you any in the house? 
 
 MBS. M. There 's what was left over of the 
 powders my lodger had when the kettle fell on 
 his foot. 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 47 
 
 CINDERELLA. You could give him one of 
 them when the cough is troublesome. Good 
 night, Mrs. Maloney. 
 
 MRS. M. Thank you kindly. (She puts a 
 penny on the table.) 
 
 CINDERELLA. {v)iih poUtc surpriss). What 's 
 that.? 
 
 MRS. M. It 's the penny. 
 CINDERELLA. So it is ! Good night, Mrs. 
 Maloney. 
 
 MRS. M. Good night, Cinders. 
 
 {She departs. The penny falls into 
 Cinderella's box with a pleasant 
 clink.) 
 
 CINDERELLA. Next. 
 
 {A woman of 35 comes forward. She is 
 dejected, thin-lipped, and unlovable.) 
 MARION {tossing her head). You 're surprised 
 to see me, I daresay. 
 
 CINDERELLA {guardedly). I haven't the plea- 
 sure of knowing you. 
 
 MARION {glancing at the remaining occupant of 
 the bench). Is that man sleeping.'' Who is he.'* 
 I don't know him. 
 
48 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 CINDERELLA. He 's sleeping. What can I 
 do ifor you ? 
 
 MARION (harshly). Nothing, I daresay. I 'm 
 at Catullo's Buildings. Now they 're turning 
 me out. They say I 'm not respectable. 
 
 CINDERELLA (enlightened). You're — that 
 woman ? 
 
 MARION (defiantly). That 's me. 
 
 CINDERELLA (shrinking) . I don't think there 's 
 nothing I could do for you. 
 
 MARION (rather appealing). Maybe there is. 
 I see you 've heard my story. They say there 's 
 a man comes to see me at times though he has a 
 wife in Hoxton. 
 
 CINDERELLA. I 've heard. 
 
 MARION. So I 'm being turned out. 
 
 CINDERELLA. I don't think it 's a case for me. 
 
 MARION. Yes, it is. 
 
 CINDERELLA. Are you terrible fond of him? 
 
 MARION. Fond of him ! Damn him ! 
 
 (CINDERELLA shrinks. MARION makes sure 
 that the man is asleep.) 
 
 Cinders, they 've got the story wrong; it 's 
 me as is his wife; I was married to him in a 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 49 
 
 church. He met that woman long after and took 
 up with her. 
 
 CINDERELLA. What ! Then why do you not 
 tell the truth.? 
 
 SiARiON. It 's my pride keeps me from telling. 
 I would rather be thought to be the wrong 'un 
 he likes than the wife the law makes him help. 
 
 CINDERELLA. Is that pride.? 
 
 MARION. It 's all the pride that 's left to me. 
 
 CINDERELLA. I 'm awful soTvy for you, but 
 I can't think of no advice to give you. 
 
 MARION. It 's not advice I want. 
 
 CINDERELLA. What is it then.? 
 
 MARION. It 's pity. I fling back all the 
 gutter words they fling at me, but my heart. 
 Cinders, is wet at times. It 's wet for one to 
 pity me. 
 
 CINDERELLA. I pity yOU. 
 
 MARION. You '11 tell nobody ? 
 
 CINDERELLA. No. 
 
 MARION. Can I come in now and again at 
 a time ? 
 
 CINDERELLA. I '11 be glad to see you — ^if I 'm 
 here. 
 
50 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 MARION. I '11 be slipping away now; he 's 
 waking up. {She puts dovm her penny.) 
 
 CINDERELLA. I 'm not doing it for no 
 penny. 
 
 MARION. You 've got to take it. That 's my 
 pride. But — I wish you well. Cinders. 
 
 CINDERELLA. I like you. I wish you would 
 wish me luck. Say ' Good luck to you to-night, 
 Cinderella.' 
 MARION. Why to-night.'' 
 
 {The little waif, so practical until now, is 
 afire inside again. She needs a confidant 
 almost as much as Marion.) 
 CINDERELLA {hastily). You see — 
 
 {The man sits up.) 
 MAN. Good evening, Missis. 
 MARION. Good luck to you to-night, Cin- 
 derella. 
 
 {She goes.) 
 
 { The man slips forward and lifts the penny.) 
 CINDERELLA {returning to earth sharply). Put 
 that down. 
 
 MAN. I was only looking at the newness of it. 
 I was just admiring the design. 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 51 
 
 {The nevmess and the design hath disappear 
 into the box. A bearded person wearing 
 the overalls of a sea-faring man lurches 
 down the street and enters the emporium. 
 Have we seen him before? Who can this 
 hairy monster be ?) 
 POLICEMAN (in an incredibly gruff voice). I 
 want a pennyworth. 
 
 CINDERELLA {unsuspecling) . Sit down. {She 
 surveys the coster.) It 's you that belongs to the 
 shirt, isn't it ? 
 MAN. Yes; is 't ready? 
 CINDERELLA. It 's ready. 
 
 {It proves to he not a shirt, hut a 'front ' of 
 linen, very stiff and starched. The laun- 
 dress cautiously retains possession of it.) 
 The charge is a penny. 
 MAN. On delivery. 
 CINDERELLA. Before delivery. 
 MAN. Surely you can trust me. 
 CINDERELLA. You 've tried that on before, 
 my man. Never again! All in this street 
 know^ my rule, — Trust in the Lord — every other 
 person, cash. 
 
52 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 (A penny and a 'shirt' pass between them 
 
 and he departs.) 
 
 (CINDERELLA turns her attention to the 
 
 newcomer.) 
 
 What 's your pleasure ? 
 
 POLICEMAN. Shave, please. 
 
 CINDERELLA (quivering before his beard). 
 Shave! I shaves in an ordinary way, but I 
 don't know as I could tackle that. 
 
 POLICEMAN. I thought you was a barber. 
 
 CINDERELLA (stung). I '11 get the lather. 
 (She goes doubtfuUy into what she calls her 
 bedroom. 
 
 He seizes this opportunity to survey the 
 room. A remarkable man this, his atten- 
 tion is at once riveted on the boxes, but 
 before he can step on a chair and take a 
 peep the barber returns with the implements 
 of her calling. He reaches his chair in 
 time not to be caught by her. She brings 
 in a bowl of soap and water and a towel, 
 which she puts round him in the correct 
 manner.) 
 
 CINDERELLA. You 're thin on the top. 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA S3 
 
 POLICEMAN (in his vnnding sheet). I 've all 
 run to beard. 
 
 CINDERELLA {the cvcT ready). I have a oint- 
 ment for the hairl; it is my own invention. The 
 price is a penny. 
 
 POLICEMAN (gruffly). Beard, please. 
 
 CINDERELLA. I 've got some voice drops. 
 
 POLICEMAN. Beard, please. 
 
 CINDERELLA (os she prepares the lather). Is 
 the streets quiet ? 
 
 POLICEMAN (cunningly). Hereabouts they are; 
 but there 's great doings in the fashionable 
 quarters. A ball, I 'm told. 
 
 CINDERELLA (gasping). You didn't see no 
 peculiar person about in this street? 
 
 POLICEMAN. How peculiar ? 
 
 CINDERELLA. Like a — a flunkey ? 
 
 POLICEMAN. Did I now — or did I not.? 
 
 CINDERELLA (eagerly). He would be carrying 
 an invite maybe; it 's a big card. 
 
 POLICEMAN. I can't say I saw him. 
 
 (Here an astonishing thing happens. The 
 head of a child rises from one of the boxes. 
 She is unseen by either of the mortals.) 
 
64 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 CINDERELLA (considering the beard). How do 
 I start with the like of this? 
 POLICEMAN. First you saws. . . . 
 
 (She attempts to saw. The beard comes off 
 in her hand.) 
 CINDERELLA (recognising Ms face). You! 
 POLICEMAN (stepping triumphantly out of his 
 disguise). Me! 
 
 (As sometimes happens, however, the one 
 who m^ans to give the surprise gets a 
 greater. At sight of his dreaded uniform 
 the child screams, whereat two other children 
 in other boxes bob up and scream also. It is 
 some time before the policeman can speak.) 
 So that 's what the boxes was for ! 
 CINDERELLA (feebly). Yes. 
 POLICEMAN (portentously). Who and what are 
 these phenomenons ? 
 
 CINDERELLA (protectingly) . Don't be fright- 
 ened, children. Down ! 
 
 (They disappear obediently.) 
 There 's no wrong in it. They 're just me 
 trying to do my bit. It 's said all should do their 
 bit in war-time. It was into a hospital I wanted 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 55 
 
 to go to nurse the wounded soldiers. I offered 
 myself at every hospital door, but none would 
 have me, so this was all I could do. 
 
 poucEMAN. You 're taking care of them ? 
 {She nods.) 
 
 Sounds all right. Neighbours' children? 
 
 CINDERELLA. The browu box is. She 's half 
 of an orphan, her father 's a bluejacket, so, of 
 course, I said I would. 
 
 POLICEMAN. You need say no more. I pass 
 little bluejacket. 
 
 CINDERELLA. Those other two is allies. She 's 
 French — ^and her 's a Belgy — (caUs). Marie- 
 Therese. 
 
 {The French child sits up.) 
 
 Speak your language to the gentleman, Marie- 
 Therese. 
 
 MARIE. Bon soir, monsieur — comment 
 portez-vous ? Je t'aime. {She curtseys charm- 
 ingly to him from the box.) 
 
 POLICEMAN. Well, I 'm — d ! 
 
 CINDERELLA. Delphine. 
 {The Belgian looks up.) 
 
 Make votre bow. 
 
66 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 Gladys ! 
 
 {The English child bobs up.) 
 
 A friend, Gladys. 
 
 (GLADYS and the policeman grin to each 
 other.) 
 
 GLADYS. What cheer ! 
 
 CINDERELLA. Monsieur is a Britain's de- 
 fender. 
 
 MAKiE. Oh, la, la ! Parlez-vous frangais, 
 monsieur ? Non ! I blow you two kisses, 
 monsieur — the one is to you {kisses hand) to 
 keep, the other you will give — {kisses hand) to 
 Kitch. 
 
 POLICEMAN {vniting). Sends kiss to Lord 
 Kitchener. 
 
 ciNiiEBELLA. She 's the one that does most 
 of the talking. 
 
 POLICEMAN {who is getting friendly) . I suppose 
 that other box is an empty. 
 
 (cinberella's mouth closes.) 
 
 Is that box empty ? 
 
 CINDERELLA. It 's not exactly empty. 
 
 POLICEMAN. What 's inside .'' 
 
 CINDERELLA. She 's the littlest. 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 57 
 
 {The children exchange glances and she 
 is severe.) 
 
 Couchy. 
 
 {They disappear.) 
 
 POLICEMAN. An ally ? 
 
 CINDERELLA. She 's — shc 's — Swiss. 
 
 POLICEMAN {lowering). Now then ! 
 
 CINDERELLA. She 's not exactly Swiss. You 
 can guess now what she is. 
 
 POLICEMAN {grave). This puts me in a very 
 diflScult position. 
 
 CINDERELLA {beginning to cry). Nobody would 
 take her. She was left over. I tried not to 
 take her. I 'm a patriot, I am. But there she 
 was — left over — and her so terrible little — ^I 
 couldn't help taking her. 
 
 POLICEMAN. I dimno. {Quite unfairly.) If 
 her folk had been in your place and you in 
 hers, they would have shown neither mercy nor 
 pity for you. 
 
 CINDERELLA {stoutly). That makes no diflFer- 
 ence. 
 
 POLICEMAN {Was this the great moment?). I 
 think there 's something uncommon about you. 
 
58 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 CINDERELLA {'phased). About vie? 
 
 POLICEMAN. I suppose she 's sleeping. 
 
 CINDERELLA. Not her ! 
 
 POLICEMAN. What 's she doing ? 
 
 CINDERELLA. She 's strafiug ! 
 
 POLICEMAN. Who 's she strafing ? 
 
 CINDERELLA. Very likely you. She misses 
 nobody. You see I 've put some barb-wire 
 round her box. 
 
 POLICEMAN. I see now. 
 
 CINDERELLA. It 's uot really barb-wire. It 's 
 worsted. I was feared the wire would hurt her. 
 But it just makes a difference. 
 
 POLICEMAN. How do the others get on with 
 her.'' 
 
 CINDERELLA. I makes them get on with her. 
 Of course there 's tongues out, and little things 
 like that. 
 
 POLICEMAN. Were the foreign children shy 
 of you at first ? 
 
 CINDERELLA. Not as soon as they heard my 
 name. 'Oh, are you Cinderella.''' they said, 
 in their various languages — and 'when 's the 
 ball ? ' they said. 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 59 
 
 POLICEMAN. Somebody must have telled 
 them about you. 
 
 CINDERELLA (happy). Not here. They had 
 heard about me in their foreign lands. Every- 
 body knows Cinderella, it 's fine. Even her— 
 (indicating German) the moment I mentioned my 
 name — ' Where 's your ugly sisters ? ' says she, 
 looking round. 
 
 POLICEMAN. Sisters ? It 's new to me, your 
 having sisters. (He produces his note book.) 
 
 CINDERELLA (uTieoMly). It 's kind of stagger- 
 ing to me, too. I haven't been able to manage 
 them yet, but they '11 be at the ball. 
 
 POLICEMAN. It 's queer. 
 
 CINDERELLA. It is queer. 
 
 POLICEMAN (sitting down vnth her). How do 
 you know this ball 's to-night? 
 
 CINDERELLA. It had to be some night. You 
 see, after I closes my business I have chats with 
 the children about things, and naturally it 's 
 mostly about the ball. I put it off as long as I 
 could, but it had to be some night — ^and this is 
 the night. 
 
 POLICEMAN. You mean it 's make-believe ? 
 
60 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 CINDERELLA (almost fiercely). None of that ! 
 
 POLICEMAN {shaking his head). I don't like it. 
 
 ciNDEBELLA (shining). You wouldn't say 
 that if you heard the blasts on the trumpet and 
 loud roars of 'Make way for the Lady Cinder- 
 ella!' 
 
 (Three heads pop up again.) 
 
 POLICEMAN. Lady .'' 
 
 CINDERELLA (in a tremble cf exultation) . That 's 
 me. That 's what you 're called at royal balls. 
 Then loud huzzas is heard outside from the 
 excited popu-lace, for by this time the fame of 
 my beauty has spread like wild-fire through the 
 streets, and folks is hanging out at windows and 
 climbing lamp-posts to catch a sight of me. 
 {Delight of the children.) 
 
 POLICEMAN. My sakes, you see the whole 
 thing clear ! 
 
 CINDERELLA. I See it from banning to end 
 — like as if I could touch it — ^the gold walls and 
 the throne, and the lamp-posts and the horses. 
 
 POLICEMAN. The horses ? 
 
 CINDERELLA. . . . Well, the competitors. 
 The speeches — everything. If only I had my 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 61 
 
 invite! That wasn't a knock at the door, 
 was it ? 
 
 POLICEMAN (so Carried away that he goes to see). 
 No. 
 
 ciNDEBBLLA (vindictively). I daresay that 
 
 flunkey 's sitting drinking in some public-house. 
 
 (Here marie-therese and Gladys, who 
 
 have been communicating across their boxes, 
 
 politely invite the policeman to go away.) 
 
 MARIE. Bonne nuit, Monsieur. 
 
 GLADYS. Did you say you was going. Mister ? 
 
 POLICEMAN. They 're wonderful polite. 
 
 CINDERELLA. I doubt that 's not politeness. 
 The naughties — they 're asking you to go away. 
 
 POLICEMAN. Oh ! (He rises vrith hauteur.) 
 
 CINDERELLA. You See we 're to have a bite 
 of supper before I start — ^to celebrate the 
 night. 
 
 POLICEMAN. Supper with the kids ! When I 
 was a kid in the country at Badgery — ^you 've 
 done it again ! 
 
 CINDERELLA. Done what? 
 
 POLICEMAN (vnth that strange feeling of being at 
 home). I suppose I would be in the way? 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 ciNDEEELXA. There 's not very much to eat. 
 There 's just one for each. 
 
 poucEMAN. I 've had my supper. 
 
 CINDERELLA {seeing her way). Have you? 
 Then I would be very pleased if you would stay. 
 
 POLICEMAN. Thank you kindly. 
 
 {She frefares the table for the feast. Eyes 
 sparkle from the boxes.) 
 
 CINDERELLA {shining). This is the first party 
 we 've ever had. Please keep an eye on the door 
 in case there 's a knock. 
 
 {She darts into her bedroom, and her 
 charges are more at their ease.) 
 
 MARIE, {sitting up, the better to display her 
 nightgown). Monsieur, Monsieur, Voila ! 
 
 GLADYS. Cinderella made it out of watching 
 a shop window. 
 
 POLICEMAN {like one who has known his hostess 
 from infancy). Just like her. 
 
 MARIE, (holding up a finger that is adorned 
 with a ring). Monsieur! 
 
 GLADYS {more practical) . The fire 's going out. 
 
 POLICEMAN {recklessly). In with another 
 penny. {He feeds the fire with that noble coin.) 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 Fellow allies, I 'm just going to take a peep into 
 
 the German trench ! Hah ! 
 
 (He stealihily mounts a chair and puts his 
 hand into Gretchen's box. We must pre- 
 sume that it is bitten by the invisible 
 occupant, for he withdraws it hurriedly to 
 the hearty delight of the spectators. This 
 mirth changes to rapture as Cinderella 
 mxikes a conceited entrance carrying a jug 
 of milk and five hot potatoes in their jackets. 
 Handsomely laden as she is, it is her attire 
 that calls forth the applause. She is now 
 wearing the traditional short brown dress 
 of Cinderella, and her hair hangs loose. 
 She tries to look modest.) 
 CINDERELLA (displaying herself). What do 
 
 you think ? ' 
 
 POLICEMAN (again in Badgery). Great ! Turn 
 
 round. And I suppose you made it yourself 
 
 out of a shop window? 
 
 CINDERELLA. No, we didn't need no shop 
 
 window; we all knew exactly what I was wear- 
 ing when the knock came. 
 GLADYS. Of course we did. 
 
64 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 {A potato is passed up to each and a cup of 
 milk between two. There is also a delicious 
 saucerful of melted lard into which they dip. 
 GRETCHEN is now as much in evidence as 
 the others, and quite as attractive — the fun 
 becomes fast and furious.) 
 
 CINDERELLA (tO POLICEMAN). A potatO? 
 
 POLICEMAN. No, I thank you. 
 
 CINDERELLA. Just a snack.'' 
 
 POLICEMAN. Thank you. 
 (She shares with him.) 
 
 CINDERELLA. A little dip .? 
 
 POLICEMAN. No, I thank you. 
 
 CINDERELLA. Just to look friendly. 
 
 POLICEMAN. I thank you. {Dipping.) T^o 
 you, Cinderella. 
 
 CINDERELLA. I thank you. 
 
 POLICEMAN {^proposing a toast). The King! 
 
 CINDERELLA {rather consciously). And the 
 Prince of Wales. 
 
 GLADYS. And father. 
 
 POLICEMAN. The King, the Prince of Wales, 
 and father. 
 
 {The toast is drunk, dipped and eaten with 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 65 
 
 acclamation, gladts, uninvited, recites 
 
 'The Mariners of England.' marie- 
 
 THERESE follows {without Waiting for the 
 
 end) with the Marseillaise, and gretchen 
 
 jrate out her tongue at both. Our policeman 
 
 having intimated that he desires to propose 
 
 another toast of a more lengthy character, 
 
 the children are lifted down and placed in 
 
 their nightgowns at the table.) 
 
 policeman {suddenly becoming nervous). I 
 
 have now the honour to propose absent 
 
 friends. 
 
 GLADYS {unth an inspiration to which marie- 
 therese bows elegantly). Vive la France ! 
 
 policeman. I mean our friends at the Front. 
 And they have their children, too. Your boxes 
 we know about, but I daresay there 's many 
 similar and even queerer places, where the 
 children, the smallest of our allies, are sleeping 
 this night within the sound of shells. 
 
 MARIE. La petite Belgique. La pauvre 
 enfant ! 
 
 DELPHiNE (proudly). Me! 
 
 pouceman. So here 's to absent friends — 
 
66 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 GLADYS (toith another inspiration). Absent 
 boxes ! 
 
 POLICEMAN. Absent boxes ! And there 's a 
 party we know about who would Kke uncommon 
 to have the charge of the lot of them — (looking 
 at Cinderella). And I couples the toast with 
 the name of the said party. 
 
 CINDERELLA (giving a pennyworth for nothing). 
 Kind friends, it would be pretending of me not to 
 let on that I know I am the party referred to by 
 the last speaker — in far too flattersome words. 
 When I look about me and see just four boxes I 
 am a kind of shamed, but it wasn't very con- 
 venient to me to have more. I will now con- 
 clude by saying I wish I was the old woman that 
 lived in a shoe, and it doesn't matter how many 
 I had I would have known fine what to do. 
 The end. 
 
 (After further diversion.) It 's a fine party. 
 I hope your potato is mealy? 
 
 POLICEMAN. I never had a better tatie. 
 
 CINDERELLA. Don't spare the skins. 
 
 POLICEMAN. But you 're eating nothing your- 
 self. 
 
A KISS FOR CmDERELLA 67 
 
 CINDERELLA. I 'm not hungry. And, of course, 
 I '11 be expected to take a bite at the ball. 
 
 {This reminder of the hall spoils the 
 policeman's enjoyment.) 
 
 POLICEMAN. I wish — ^you wasn't so sure of 
 the baU. 
 
 GLADYS (in defence). Why shouldn't she not 
 be sure of it ? 
 
 DELPHiNE. Pourquoi, Monsieur? 
 
 CINDERELLA (rather hotly). Don't say things 
 like that here. 
 
 MARIE. Has Monsieur by chance seen God- 
 mamma coining ? 
 
 poucEMAN. God-mamma ? 
 
 CINDERELLA. That 's my Godmother; she 
 brings my ball dress and a carriage with four 
 ponies. 
 
 GLADTS. Then away she goes to the ball — 
 hooray — ^hooray ! 
 
 CINDERELLA. It 's all perfectly simple once 
 Godmother comes. 
 
 POLICEMAN (vdth unconscious sarcasm). I can 
 see she 's important. 
 
 ciNDEREiXA (wUh the dreadful sinking that 
 
68 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 comes to her at times). You think she '11 come, 
 don't you ? 
 
 POLICEMAN. Cinderella, your hand 's burning 
 — and in this cold room. 
 
 CINDERELLA. Say you think she '11 come. 
 POLICEMAN. I^well, I . . . I . . . 
 GLADYS (imploringly). Say it, Mister ! 
 DELPHINE (begging). Monsieur! Monsieur! 
 MAEiE. If it is that you love me, Monsieur ! 
 POLICEMAN (in distress). I question of there 
 was ever before a member of the Force in such a 
 position. (Yielding.) I expect she'll come. 
 
 (This settles it in the opinion of the children, 
 but their eyes are too bright for such a late 
 hour, and they are ordered to bed. Our 
 POLICEMAN replaces them in their boxes.) 
 CINDERELLA. One — two — ^three . . . couchy ! 
 
 (They disappear.) 
 POLICEMAN (awkwardly and trying to hedge). 
 Of course this is an out-of-the-way little street 
 for a Godmother to find. 
 
 CINDERELLA. Yes, I 've thought of that. 
 I 'd best go and hang about outside; she would 
 know me by my dress. 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 69 
 
 POLICEMAN (hastily). I wouldn't do that. 
 It 's a cold night. (He wanders about the room 
 eyeing her sideways.) Balls is always late 
 things. 
 
 ciNOEKELLA. I 'm none so sure. In war- 
 time, you see, with the streets so dark and the 
 King so kind, it would be just like him to begin 
 early and close at ten instead of twelve. I must 
 leave before twelve. If I don't, there 's terrible 
 disasters happens. 
 
 POLICEMAN (unable to follow this). The ball 
 might be put off owing to the Prince of Wales 
 being in France. 
 
 CINDERELLA. He catched the last boat. I '11 
 go out and watch. 
 
 POLICEMAN (desperate). Stay where you are, 
 and — and I '11 have a look for her. 
 
 CINDERELLA. You 're too kind. 
 
 POLICEMAN. Not at all. I must be stepping 
 at any rate. If I can lay hands on her I '11 
 march her here, though I have to put the hand- 
 cuffs on her. 
 
 GLADYS (looking up). I think I heard a 
 knock! 
 
70 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 {The POLICEMAN looks out, shakes his head, 
 and finally departs after a queer sort of 
 handshake toith miss thing.) 
 CINDERELLA. He 's a nice man. 
 GLADYS. Have you known him long? 
 ciNDEHELLA (thinking it aid). A longish time. 
 He 's head of the secret police; him and me 
 used to play together as children down in Bad- 
 gery. His folks live in a magnificent castle, 
 with two doors. {She becomes a little bewildered.) 
 I 'm aU mixed up. 
 
 ( The children are soon asleep. She wanders 
 aimlessly to the door. The waU closes on 
 the little room, and we now see her standing 
 in the street. Our policeman returns and 
 flashes his lantern on her.) 
 
 CINDERELLA. It 's yOU ! 
 
 policeman. It 's me. But there 's no God- 
 mother ! There 's not a soul . . . No. . . . 
 Good-night, Cinderella. Go inside. 
 
 CINDERELLA {doggedly). Not me! I don't 
 feel the cold — not much. And one has to take 
 risks to get a Prince. The only thing I 'm feared 
 about is my feet. If they was to swell I mightn't 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 71 
 
 be able to get the slippers on, and he would have 
 naught to do with me. 
 
 POLICEMAN. What slippers? If you won't 
 go back, I '11 stop here with you. 
 
 ciNDERELXA. No, I think there 's more chance 
 of her coming if I 'm alone. 
 
 POLICEMAN. I 'm very troubled about you. 
 
 CINDERELLA (toistfully) . Do you think I 'm 
 just a liar ? Maybe I am. You see I 'm all 
 mixed up. I 'm sore in need of somebody to 
 help me out. 
 
 POLICEMAN. I would do it if I could. 
 
 CINDERELLA. I 'm sure. (Anxiously.) Are 
 you good at riddles ? 
 
 {He shakes his head.) 
 
 There 's always a riddle before you can marry 
 into a royal family. 
 
 POLICEMAN (toith increased gloom). The whole 
 thing seems to be most terrible difficult. 
 
 CINDERELLA. Yes. . . . Good-night. 
 
 POLICEMAN. You won't let me stay with you ? 
 
 CINDERELLA. No. 
 
 (He puts his lantern on the ground beside 
 her.) 
 
72 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 What's that for? 
 
 POLICEMAN {humbly) . It 's just a sort of guard 
 for you. {He takes off his muffler and puts it 
 several times round her neck.) 
 CINDERELLA. Nice ! 
 POLICEMAN. Good luck ! 
 
 {She finds it easiest just to nod in reply.) 
 I wish I was a Prince. 
 CINDERELLA {suddenly struck by the idea). 
 You 're kind of like him. 
 
 {He goes away. She sits down on the step 
 to wait. She shivers. She takes the muffler 
 ' off her neck and winds it round her more 
 
 valuable feet. She falls asleep. 
 
 Darkness cornes, and snow. From some- 
 where behind, the shadowy figure of Cin- 
 derella's Godmother, beautiful in a Red 
 Cross Nurse's uniform, is seen looking 
 benignantly on the waif. Cinderella is 
 just a little vague, huddled form — there is 
 no Tnovement.) 
 GODMOTHER. Cinderella, my little godchild ! 
 CINDERELLA {wUh eyes unopening). Is that 
 you. Godmother.? 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 73 
 
 GODMOTHER. It is I; my poor god-daughter 
 is all mixed up, and I have come to help her out. 
 
 CINDERELLA. You have been long in coming. 
 I very near gave you up. 
 
 GODMOTHER. Sweetheart, I couldn't come 
 sooner, because in these days, you know, even 
 the fairy godmother is with the Red Cross. 
 
 CINDERELLA. Was that the reason.'' I see 
 now; I thought perhaps you kept away because 
 I wasn't a good girl. 
 
 GODMOTHER. You havc been a good brave 
 girl; I am well pleased with my darling god- 
 child. 
 
 CINDERELLA. It is fine to be called darling; 
 it heats me up. I 've been wearying for it. 
 Godmother. Life 's a kind of hard. 
 
 GODMOTHER. It will always be hard to you, 
 Cinderella. I can't promise you anything else. 
 
 CINDERELLA. I don't suppose I could have 
 my three wishes. Godmother. 
 
 GODMOTHER. I am not very powerful in these 
 days, Cinderella; but what are your wishes? 
 
 CINDERELLA. I would like fine to have my 
 ball, Godmother. 
 
74 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 GODMOTHER. You shall havc your ball. 
 CINDERELLA. I would like to nurse the 
 wounded. 
 
 GODMOTHER. You shall Hurse the wounded. 
 CINDERELLA. I would like to be loved by the 
 man of my choice, Godmother. 
 
 GODMOTHER. You shall be loved by the man 
 of your choice. 
 
 CINDERELLA. Thank you kindly. The ball 
 first, if you please, and could you squeeze in the 
 children so that they may see me in my glory. 
 GODMOTHER. Now let this be my down- 
 trodden godchild's ball, not as balls are, but 
 as they are conceived to be in a little chamber in 
 Cinderella's head. 
 
 (She fades from sight. In the awful still- 
 ness we can now hear the tiny clatter of 
 horses infinitely small and infinitely far off. 
 It is the equipage of Cinderella. Then an 
 unearthly trumpet sounds thrice, and the 
 darkness is blown away. 
 
 It is the night of the most celebrated ball in 
 history, and we see it through our heroine's 
 eyes. She has, as it were, made everything 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 75 
 
 Tjoiih her own hands, from the cloths of gold 
 to the ices. 
 
 Nearly everything in the ball-room is of 
 gold : it was only vnth an effort that she 
 checked herself from dabbing gold on the 
 regal countenances. You can see that she 
 has not passed by gin-palaces without 
 thinking about them. The walls and 
 furniture are so golden that you have but 
 to lean against them to acquire a compet- 
 ency. There is a golden throne with gold 
 cloths on it, and the royal seats are three 
 golden rocking chairs ; there would be a 
 fourth golden rocking chair if it were not 
 that Cinderella does not want you to guess 
 where she is to sit. These chairs are stuffed 
 to a golden corpulency. The panoply of 
 the throne is about twenty feet high — each 
 foot of pure gold ; and nested on the top of 
 it is a golden reproduction of the grandest 
 thing Cinderella has ever seen — the private 
 box of a theatre. In this box sit, wriggle, 
 and sprawl the four children in their night- 
 gowns, leaning over the golden parapet as 
 
76 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 if to the manner horn and carelessly kick- 
 ing nuggets out of it. They are shouting, 
 pointing, and otherwise behaving badly, 
 eating oranges out of paper hags, then 
 blowing out the hags and bursting them. 
 The superb scene is lit by four street lamps 
 with red glass. Dancing is going on : the 
 ladies all in white, the gentlemen in black 
 with swords. If you were unused to royal 
 balls you would think every one of these 
 people was worth describing separately ; 
 hut, compared to what is coming, it may he 
 said that Cinderella has merely pushed 
 them on with her lovely foot. They are her 
 idea of courtiers, and have anxious expres- 
 sions as if they knew shewas watching them. 
 They have character in the lump, if we may 
 put it that way, hut none individualiy. 
 Thus one cannot smile or sigh, for instance, 
 without all the others smiling or sighing. At 
 night they probably sleep in two large beds, 
 one for ladies and one for gentlemen, and if 
 one of the ladies, say, wants to turn round, 
 she gives the signal, and they all turn simul- 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 77 
 
 taneously. As children they were not like 
 this ; they had genuine 'personal traits, hut 
 these have gradually been blotted out as they 
 basked in royal favour ; thus, if the King 
 wipes his glasses they all pretend that their 
 glasses need wiping, and when the Queen 
 lets her handkerchief fall they all stoop 
 loyally to pick up their own. 
 
 Down the golden steps at the hack comes 
 the LORD MAYOR, easily recognisable by his 
 enormous chain.) 
 LORD MAYOR. O yes, O yes, make way every- 
 one for the Lord Mayor — ^namely myself. 
 
 {They all make way for him. Two black 
 hoys fling open lovely curtains.) 
 O yes, O yes, make way every one, and also 
 myself, for Lord Times. 
 
 (This is a magnificent person created by 
 Cinderella on learning from Mr. Bodie that 
 the press is all powerful and that the ' Times ' 
 is the press. He carries one hand behind 
 his back, as if it might he too risky to show 
 the whole of himself at once, and it is 
 noticeable that as he walks his feet do not 
 
78 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 ' quite touch the ground. He is the only per- 
 
 son who is not a little staggered by the amount 
 of gold : you almost feel that he thinks 
 there is not quite enough of it. He very 
 nearly sits down on one of the royal rocking 
 chairs : and the lord mayor, looking red 
 and unhappy, and as if he had now done 
 for himself, has to whisper to him that the 
 seats under the throne are reserved.) 
 O yes, O yes, make way for the Censor. 
 
 {Cinderella has had a good deal of trouble 
 over this person, of whom she has heard 
 a great deal in war-time, without meet- 
 ing anyone who can tell her what he is 
 like. She has done her best, and he is long 
 and black and thin, dressed as tightly as a 
 fish, and carries an executioner's axe. All 
 fall back from him in fear, except lord 
 TIMES, who takes a step forward, and then 
 the censor falls- back.) 
 O yes, O yes, make way everybody for his 
 
 Royal Highness the £ing, and his good lady 
 
 the Queen. 
 
 {The KING and queen are attired like their 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 79 
 
 portraits on playing cards, who are the 
 only royalties Cinderella has seen, and they 
 advance grandly to their rocking chairs, 
 looking as if they thought the whole public 
 was dirt, hut not so much despised dirt as 
 dirt toith good points, lord times fixes 
 them with his eye, and the king hastily 
 crosses and shakes hands with him.) 
 O yes, O yes, make way everyone, except 
 
 the King, and Queen, and Lord Times, for His 
 
 Highness Prince Hard-to-Please. 
 
 {The heir apparent comes, preceded by 
 trumpeters. His dress may a little resemble 
 that of the extraordinary youth seen by 
 Cinderella in her only pantomime, but 
 what quite takes our breath away is his 
 likeness to our policeman. If the ball had 
 taken place a night earlier it may be hazarded 
 that the Prince would have presented 'quite 
 a different face. It is as if Cinderella's 
 views of his personality had undergone 
 some unaccountable change, confusing even 
 to herself, and for a moment the whole 
 scene rocks, the street lamps wink, and odd 
 
80 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 shadows stalk among the courtiers, shadows 
 of MR. BODiE, MARION, and the party in an 
 unfinished coat, who have surely no right 
 to be here. This is only momentarily ; 
 then the palace steadies itself again. 
 
 The KING rises, and in stately manner 
 addresses his guests in the words Cinderella 
 conceives to be proper to his royal mouth. 
 As he stands waiting superbly for the 
 applause to cease, he holds on to a strap 
 hanging conveniently above his head. To 
 Cinderella strap-hanging on the Under- 
 ground has been a rare and romantic 
 privilege.) 
 KING. My loyal subjects, all 'ail! I am as 
 proud of you as you are of me. It gives me and 
 my good lady much pleasure to see you 'ere by 
 special invite, feasting at our expensq. There 
 is a paper bag for each, containing two sand- 
 wiches, buttered on both sides, a piece of cake, 
 a hard-boiled egg, and an orange or a banana. 
 {The cheers of the delighted courtiers gratify 
 him, but the vulgar children over his head 
 continue their rub-a-dub on the parapet 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 81 
 
 until he glares up at them. Even then they 
 continue.) 
 Ladies and Gents all, pleasant though it is to 
 fiU up with good victuals, that is not the chief 
 object of this royal invite. We are 'ere for a 
 solemn purpose, namely, to find a mate for our 
 noble son. All the beauties are waiting in the 
 lobby: no wonder he is excited. 
 
 (All look at the prince, who is rocking and 
 yawning.) 
 He will presently wake up; but first I want 
 to say — {here he becomes conscious of lord times) . 
 What is it.? 
 LORD TIMES. Lcss talk, 
 KING. Certainly. {He sits dovm.) 
 PRINCE {encouraged to his feet by various royal 
 nudges) . My liege King and Queen-Mother, you 
 can have the competitors brought in, and I will 
 take a look at them; but I have no hope. My 
 curse is this, that I am a scoffer about females. 
 I can play with them for a idle hour and then 
 cast them from me even as I cast this banana 
 skin. I can find none so lovely that I may love 
 her for aye from the depths of my passionate 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 heart. I am so blasted particular. O yes ! 
 O yes! {He sits down and looks helpless.) 
 
 KING (undismayed). All ready? 
 (The LOED MAYOR bows.) 
 
 All is ready, my son. 
 
 PEiNCE (bored). Then let loose the Beauts. 
 (To heavenly music from the royal hurdy- 
 gurdies the BEAUTIES descend the stairs, one 
 at a time;. There are a dozen of the fine 
 creatures, in impudent confections such as 
 Cinderella has seen in papers in Mr. Bo- 
 die's studio; some of them vyith ropes of hair 
 hanging down their proud backs as she has 
 seen them in a hair-dresser's unndow. As 
 we know, she has once looked on at a horse 
 show, and this has coloured her conception 
 of a competition for a prince. The ladies 
 prance round the ball-room like high-step- 
 ping steeds ; it is evident that Cinderella 
 has had them fed immediately before re- 
 leasing them ; her pride is to show them 
 at their very best, and then to challenge 
 them. 
 
 They paw the floor wantonly until loed 
 
A KISS FOR CmDERELLA 83 
 
 TIMES ste-ps forward. Peace thus restored, 
 HIS MAJESTY proceeds.) 
 KING. The first duty of a royal consort being 
 to be good, the test of- goodness will now be 
 applied by the Lord Mayor. Every competitor 
 who does not pass in goodness will be made 
 short work of. 
 
 {Several ladies quake, and somewhere or 
 other unseen cindekblla is chuckling.) 
 ONE OF THE STEEDS. I Wasn't told about this. 
 It isn't fair. 
 
 LORD MAYOR (darkly). If your Grace wishes 
 to withdraw — 
 
 (She stamps.) 
 KING. The Lord Mayor will now apply the 
 test. 
 
 LORD MAYOR (to a gold page). The therm- 
 mo-ometers, boy ! 
 
 (A whole boxful of thermometers is pre- 
 sented to him by the page on bended knee. 
 The LORD MAYOR is now in his element. 
 He has ridden in gold coaches and knows 
 what hussies young women often are. To 
 dainty music he trips up the line of beauties 
 
84 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 and pops a tube into each pouting mouth. 
 The competitors circle around, showing 
 their paces while he stands, watch in hand, 
 giving them two minutes. Then airily he 
 ivithdraws the tubes ; he is openly gleeful 
 when he finds sinners. Twice he is in 
 doubt, it is a very near thing, and he has 
 to consult the king in whispers : the king 
 takes the queen aside, to whisper behind 
 the door as it were ; then they both hole at 
 LORD TIMES, who, without Bvcn stepping 
 forward, says 'No' — and the doubtfuls are 
 at once bundled out of the chamber with the 
 certainties. Royalty sighs, and the courtiers 
 sigh and the lord mator sighs in a per- 
 functory way, but there is a tossing of manes 
 from the beauties who have scraped throv,gh.) 
 king {stirring up the prince, who has fallen 
 
 asleep). Our Royal Bud will now graciously 
 
 deign to pick out a few possibles. 
 {His Royal Highness yawns.) 
 lord mayor {obsequiously). If your Highness 
 
 would like a little assistance — 
 PRINCE {you never know how they vnll take 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 85 
 
 things). We shall do this for ourselves, my 
 
 good fellow. 
 
 {He smacks the lord mayor's face vnth 
 'princely elegance. The lord mayor takes 
 it as a favour, and the courtiers gently 
 smack each other's faces and are very proud 
 to be there. The prince moves languidly 
 down the line of beauties considering their 
 points, occasionally nodding approval but 
 more often screwing up his nose. The 
 courtiers stand ready with nods or noses. 
 Several ladies think they have been chosen, 
 but he has only brought them into promin- 
 ence to humiliate them ; he suddenly says 
 'Good-bye,' and they have to go, while he 
 is convulsed with merriment. He looks 
 sharply at the courtiers to see if they are 
 convulsed also, and they are. The others 
 are flung out.) 
 QUEEN {hanging on to her strap). Does our 
 
 Royal one experience no palpitation at all? 
 PRINCE {sleepily). Ah me, ah me ! 
 lord times {irritated). You 're well called 
 
 'Ard-to-Please. You would turn up your nose 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 at a lady though she were shaped like Apollo's 
 
 bow. 
 
 {The PRINCE shrugs his shoulder to indicate 
 that love cannot be forced.) 
 LORD MAYOR (darkly). And now we come to 
 
 the severer test. 
 
 (With a neat action, rather like taking a lid 
 off a pot, the lord mayor lets it be known 
 to the ladies that they must now lift their 
 skirts to show their feet. When this de- 
 vastating test is concluded, there are only 
 two competitors left in the room.) 
 LORD TIMES (almost as if he were thinking of 
 
 himself). Can't have Two. 
 
 (Cards such as Cinderella saw at the horse 
 show, with '1st,' '%nd,' and '3rd' on them, 
 are handed to the prince. Like one well 
 used to such proceedings, he pins 2nd and 
 3rd into the ladies' bodices.) 
 QUEEN (gloomily). But still no first. 
 
 (The CHILDREN applaud ; they have been 
 interfering repeatedly.) 
 KING. Come, come, proud youth, you feel 
 
 no palps at all ? 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 87 
 
 PRINCE. Not a palp. Perhaps for a moment 
 this one's nose — ^that one's cock of the head — 
 But it has passed. 
 
 {He drearily resumes his rocking chair. No 
 one seems to know what to do next.) 
 MARIE (to the rescue) . The two Ugly Sisters ! 
 Monsieur le Roi, the two Ugly Sisters! {She 
 points derisively at the winners.) 
 
 KING (badgered). How did these children get 
 their invites ? 
 
 {This is another thing that no one knows. 
 Once more the room rocks, and mb. bodie 
 passes across it as if looking for some one. 
 Then a growing clamxmr is heard outside. 
 Bugles sound. The lord mayor goes and 
 returns with strange news.) 
 LORD MAYOR. Another competitor, my King. 
 Make way for the Lady Cinderella ! 
 KING. Cinderella? I don't know her. 
 GLADYS {nearly falling out of the box). You '11 
 soon know her. Now you '11 see ! Somebody 
 wake the Prince up. 
 
 {The portals are flung open, and Cinder- 
 ella is seen alighting from her lovely 
 
88 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 equipage, which we will not describe be- 
 cause some one has described it before. 
 But note the little waggle of her foot 
 just before she favours the ground. We 
 have thought a great deal about how our 
 CINDERELLA should be dressed for this 
 occasion : white of course, and she looked a 
 darling in ii, but we boggle at its really 
 being of the grandest stuff and made in the 
 shop where the Beauties got theirs. No, 
 the material came from poorer warehouses 
 in some shabby district not far from the 
 street of the penny shop ; her eyes had 
 glistened as she gazed at it through the 
 windows, and she paid for it with her life's 
 blood, and made the frock herself. Very 
 possibly it was bunchy here and there. 
 
 CINDERELLA then comes sailing down 
 into the ball-room, not a sound to beheardex- 
 cept the ecstatic shrieks of the four children. 
 She is modest but calmly confident ; she 
 knows exactly what to do. She moves 
 once round the room to show her gown, then 
 curtseys to the Royal personages ; then. 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 89 
 
 turning to the loed mayor, opens her 
 mouth and signs to him to pop in the ther- 
 mometer. He does it as in a dream. 
 Presently he is excitedly showing the 
 thermometer to the king.) 
 KING. Marvellous! 99! 
 
 {The cry is repeated from all sides. The 
 
 QUEEN hands the king a long pin from 
 
 her coiffure, and the prince is again 
 
 wakened.) 
 
 PRINCE (with his hand to his brow). What, 
 
 another ! Oh, all right; but you know this is 
 
 a dog's life. (He goes to Cinderella, takes one 
 
 glance at her and resumes his chair.) 
 
 LORD MAYOR (while the children blub). That 
 settles it, I think. (He is a heartless fellow.) 
 That will do. Stand back, my girl. 
 CINDERELLA (cdlmly). I don't think. 
 KING. It 's no good, you know. 
 CINDERELLA (curtscying) . Noble King, there 
 is two bits of me thy son hath not yet seen. I 
 crave my rights. (She points to the two bits re- 
 ferred to, which are encased in the loveliest glass 
 slippers.) 
 
90 A Kim FOR CINDERKLIA 
 
 KINO. True. Boy, do your duty. 
 
 PBiKCK. Oh, Ijcftherl 
 
 (Tho«e words are fhe laM tpoiken by him in 
 his present date. When we see him, again, 
 which is the nwment afterwards, he is trans- 
 lated. Tie looks ihe same, hut so does a 
 dock inJ/) which ri^e/w w</fks have been put. 
 The change is (^eded quite mnr^y hy 
 cisruKBELLA delmitdy raising her shirt 
 and showing him her fo(d. An the e/,- 
 quisite nature af the sight thus m/wMgafed 
 to him penetrat^es hd* being a tremor pauses 
 ihrough his frame ; his tAcas lake flight 
 from him and the virtues enter. Jt is a 
 heady wakening, and he faUs at her feet. 
 The courtiers are awkward, not knowing 
 whether they shmddfaU also. a.vMjjKEu^A 
 beams to the (hitdren, who utter ritjold (rijen 
 cf triumph.) 
 
 Knsci (rotating on his drop). Give htm «rf 
 Pill your longs, my mirt I 
 
 QVKZX (on hers). M/ boy ! My lioy I 
 
 UfRt> MATOR (quiekty taking the royal cue). 
 Ob, lady fair! 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 91 
 
 {The prince's 'palpitations increase in 
 violence.) 
 QUEEN. Oh, happy sight ! 
 KING. Oh, glorious hour ! 
 LORD MAYOR {uot suTc that he was heard the first 
 time). Oh, lady fair ! 
 
 ( The PRINCE springs to his feet. He is look- 
 ing very queer.) 
 LORD TIMES (probably remembering how he 
 looked once). The Prince is about to propose! 
 LORD MAYOR. O yes, O yes, O yes ! 
 KING. Proceed, my son. 
 PRINCE (toith lover-like contortions and ad- 
 dressing himself largely to ike feet). Dew of the 
 morning, garden of dehght, sweet petals of en- 
 chanted nights, the heavens have opened and 
 through the chink thou hast fallen at my feet, 
 even as I fall at thine. Thou art not one but 
 twain, and these the twain — Oh, pretty feet on 
 which my lady walks, are they but feet ? O no, 
 no, no ! They are so small I cannot see them. 
 Hie ! A candle that I may see my lady's feet ! 
 {He kisses one foot, and she holds up the 
 other for similar treatment.) 
 
92 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 O Cinderella, if thou wilt deign to wife with 
 me, I '11 do my best to see that through the years 
 you always walk on kisses. 
 
 {The courtiers resolve to walk on kisses 
 for evermore.) 
 
 LORD MAYOR. The Prince has proposed. The 
 Lady Cinderella will now reply. 
 
 KING. Lovely creature, take pity on my 
 royal son. 
 
 QUEEN. Cinderella, be my daughter. 
 
 LORD TIMES (succindly) . Yes, or no.f* 
 
 CINDERELLA. There 's just one thing. Be- 
 fore I answer, I would like that little glass 
 thing to be put in his mouth. 
 
 LORD MAYOR (staggered). The Ther-mo-mo- 
 meter ? 
 
 KING. In our Prince's mouth ! 
 
 LORD TIMES. Why not? 
 
 CINDERELLA. Just to make sure that he is good. 
 
 PRINCE (toith a sinking). Oh, I say ! 
 
 QUEEN. Of course he is good, Cinderella — 
 he is our son. 
 
 CINDERELLA (doggedly). I would like it put 
 in his mouth. 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 93 
 
 KING. But 
 
 PRINCE (alarmed). Pater! 
 
 LORD TIMES. It must be done. 
 
 (The test is therefore made. The royal 
 mouth has to open to the thermometer, which 
 is presently passed to the king for examina- 
 tion. He looks very grave. The prince 
 seizes the tell-tale thing, and with a happy 
 thought lets it fall.) 
 
 PRINCE. 99 ! 
 
 {The joyous cry is taken up by all, and 
 CINDERELLA goes divinely on one knee to 
 her lord and master.) 
 CINDERELLA (simply). I accepts. 
 KING (when the uproar has ceased). All make 
 merry ! The fire is going low. (Recklessly.) In 
 with another shilling ! 
 
 (A shilling is dumped into the shiUing-in- 
 
 the-slot stove, which blazes up. The prince 
 
 puts his arm round his love.) 
 
 LORD TIMES (again remembering his day of 
 
 days). My Prince, not so fast. There is still 
 
 the riddle. 
 
 prince. I had forgotten. 
 
94 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 CINDERELLA {quoking). I was feared tLere 
 would be a riddle. 
 
 KING (jyrompted by lord times) . Know ye all, 
 my subjects, that before blue blood can wed 
 there is a riddle; and she who cannot guess it — 
 (darkly) is taken away and censored. 
 
 (The CENSOR vnth his axe comes into sudden 
 prominence behind Cinderella and the two 
 other competitors.) 
 My Lord Times, the riddle ! 
 LORD TIMES. I hold in my one hand the riddle, 
 and in the other the answer in a sealed envelope, 
 to prevent any suspicion of hanky-panky. 
 Third prize, forward! Now, my child, this is 
 the riddle. On the night of the Zeppelin raids, 
 what was it that everyone rushed to save first ? 
 3rd prize. The children. 
 LORD TIMES. Children not included. 
 
 {The lady is at a loss.) 
 PRINCE. Time 's up ! Hoo-ray ! 
 
 (He signs callously to the censor, who 
 disappears with his victim through a side 
 door, to reappear presently, wiping his 
 axe and shipping gaily.) 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 95 
 
 LORD TIMES. Sccond prize, forward. Now, 
 Duchess, answer. 
 
 2nd prize. Her jewels ! 
 
 (lord times shakes his head.) 
 PRINCE (brightly) . Off with her head ! Drown 
 her in a bucket ! 
 
 (The CENSOR again removes the lady and 
 does his fell work.) 
 LORD TIMES. First prize, forward. Now, 
 Cinderella, answer. 
 
 (The CENSOR, a kindly man but used to 
 his calling, 'puts his hand on her shovMer, 
 to lead her away. She removes it without 
 looking at him.) 
 CINDERELLA. It 's not a catch, is it ? 
 LORD TIMES (hotly). No, indeed. 
 CINDERELLA. There 's just one thing all true 
 Britons would be anxious about. 
 
 KING (who has been allowed to break the envelope 
 and read the answer). But what, Cinderella — 
 what? 
 
 LORD MAYOR (hedging again). What, chit? 
 
 CINDERELLA. Their love-letters. 
 
 KING and LORD TIMES (together, but lord times 
 
96 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 a little in front). The fair Cinderella has solved 
 the riddle ! 
 
 LORD MAYOK (promptly). Oh, fair lady ! 
 ciNDERELiA (remembering the Venus). There 's 
 just one thing that makes it not quite a perfect 
 ball. I wanted Mrs. Bodie to be one of the com- 
 petitors — so as I could beat her. 
 
 KING. Send for her at once. Take a 
 taxi. 
 
 (A courtier rushes out whistling, and 
 returns with venus, now imbued vyiih life. 
 Her arms go out wantonly to the prince. 
 He signs to the censor, who takes her away 
 and breaks her up.) 
 prince. I crave a boon. The wedding at 
 once, my lord. 
 
 (lord times signifies assent.) 
 KING. The marriage ceremony will now take 
 place. 
 
 CINDERELLA \ Calling to the children). Brides- 
 maids! 
 
 (They rush down and become her brides- 
 maids. At the top of the stair appears a 
 penguin — a penguin or a bishop, they meli 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 97 
 
 into each other on great occasions. The 
 regal couple kneel.) 
 PENGtriN. Do you, O Prince, take this lady 
 to be your delightful wife — and to adore her 
 for ever ? 
 
 PEiNCE. I do, I do ! Oh, I do, I do indeed ! 
 I do— I do— I do ! 
 
 PENGUIN. Do you, Cinderella, loveliest of 
 your sex, take this Prince for husband, and to 
 love, honour, and obey him? 
 CINDERELLA (primly). If you please. 
 PENGUIN. The ring ? 
 
 {It is marie-thekese's great hour; she 
 passes her ring to Cinderella,who is married 
 in it. Triumphant music swells out as a 
 crown is put upon our Princess's head, and 
 an extraordinary long train attached to her 
 person. Her husband and she move dream- 
 ily round the hall-room, the children holding 
 up the train, lord times vnth exquisite 
 taste falls in behind them. Then follow the 
 courtiers, all dreamily; and completing the 
 noble procession is the lord UAYOii,holding 
 aloft on a pole an enormous penny. It has 
 
98 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 the face of Cinderella on one side of it — 
 the fenny which to those who know life is 
 the most romantic of coins unless its little 
 brother has done better. 
 
 The music, despite better intentions, 
 
 begins to lose its head. It obviously wants 
 
 to dance. Everyone wants to dance. Even 
 
 LORD TIMES has trouble with his legs.) 
 
 KING {threatening, supplicating). Don't dance 
 
 yet. I 've got a surprise for you. Don't dance. 
 
 I haven't told you about it, so as to keep you 
 
 on the wonder. 
 
 {In vain do they try to control themselves.) 
 It 's ices ! 
 
 {All stop dancing.) 
 {Hoarsely.) There 's an ice-cream for every- 
 body. 
 
 {Amid applause the royal ice-cream barrow 
 is wheeled on by haughty menials who fill the 
 paper sieves with dabs of the luscious con- 
 diment. The paper sieves are of gold, but 
 there are no spoons. The children, dtunk 
 vnth expectation, forget their manners and 
 sit on the throne. Somehow Cinderella's 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 99 
 
 'penny clients drift in again, each carrying 
 a sieve.) 
 None touches till one royal lick has been taken 
 
 by us four. . , . {He gives them a toast.) To 
 
 the Bridal Pair ! 
 
 (At the royal word 'Go!^ aiSj attach the 
 ices vyiih their tongues, greedily hut grace- 
 fully. They end in the approved manner 
 by gobbling up the sieves. It is especially 
 charming to see the last of lord times's 
 sieve unbend. The music becomes irresist- 
 ible. If you did not dance you would be 
 abandoned by your legs. It is as if a 
 golden coin had been dropped into a golden 
 slot. Ranks are levelled. The king asks 
 GLADYS for this one; the queen is whisked 
 away by MB. bodie. Perhaps they dance 
 like costers : if you had time to reflect you 
 might think it a scene in the streets. It be- 
 comes too merry to last ; couples are whirled 
 through the walls as if the floor itself were 
 rotating: soon Cinderella and her Prince 
 ■ dance alone. It is then that the clock be- 
 gins to strike twelve. Cinderella should fly 
 
100 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 now, or woe befall her. Alas, she hears 
 nothing save the whispers of her hver. The 
 hour has struck, and her glorious gown 
 shrinks slowly into the tattered frock of a 
 girl vnth a broom. Too late she huddles on 
 the floor to conceal the change. In another 
 moment the prince mvM see. The chil- 
 dren gather round her with little cries, and, 
 spreading out their nightgowns to conceal 
 her, rush her from the scene. It is then 
 that the prince discovers his loss. In a 
 frenzy he calls her sweet name. The be- 
 wildered girl has even forgotten to drop the 
 slipper, without which he shall never find 
 her. MARiE-THERESB, the ever-vigilant, 
 steals back vnth it, and leaves it on the 
 floor. 
 
 The ball-room is growing dark. The 
 lamps have gone out. There is no light save 
 the tiniest glow, which has been showing on 
 the floor all the time, unregarded by tw. It 
 seems to come from a policeman's lantern. 
 The gold is all washed out by the odd streaks 
 of white that come dawn like rain. Soon 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 101 
 
 the Prince's cry of ' Cinderella, Cinderella ' 
 dies away. It is no longer a ball-room on 
 which the lantern sheds this feeble ray. 
 It is the street outside Cinderella's door, a 
 white street now, silent in snow. The child 
 in her rags, the policeman's scarf still 
 round her precious feet, is asleep on the 
 door step, very little life left in her, very 
 little oU left in the lantern.) 
 
Ill 
 
 The retreat in which Cinderella is to be found two 
 
 months later has been described to us by our policeman 
 
 with becoming awe. It seems to be a very pleasant 
 
 house near the sea, and possibly in pre-war days 
 
 people were at ease in it. None of that, says the 
 
 policeman emphatically, with Dr. Bodie in charge. 
 
 He could urink discreetly at Dr. Bodie in absence, but 
 
 was prepared to say on oath that no one ever winked 
 
 at her when she was present. In the old days he had 
 
 been more than a passive observer of the suffragette in 
 
 action, had even been bitten by them in the way of 
 
 business ; had not then gone into the question of their 
 
 suitability for the vote, but liked the pluck of them ; 
 
 had no objection to his feelings on the woman movement 
 
 being summed up in this way, that he had vaguely 
 
 disapproved of their object, but had admired their 
 
 methods. After knowing Dr. Bodie he must admit 
 
 that his views about their object had undergone a 
 
 change ; was now a whole-hearted supporter, felt in 
 
 his bones that Dr. Bodie was born to command : 
 
 astonishing thing about her that she did it so natural- 
 102 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 103 
 
 like. She was not in the least mannish or bullying ; 
 she was a very ladylike sort of person, a bit careful 
 about the doing of her hair, and the set of her hat, 
 and she had a soft voice, though what you might call 
 an arbitrary manner. Very noticeable the way she 
 fixed you with her steely eye. In appearance she was 
 very like her room, at the retreat, or the room was very 
 like her ; everything in cruel good order, as you miglit 
 say ; an extraordinarily decorous writing table near 
 the centre, the sort of table against which you in- 
 stinctively stood and waited to make your deposition ; 
 the friendliest thing in the room {to a policeman) was 
 the book-cases with wire doors, because the books 
 looked through the wires at you in a homely way like 
 prisoners. It was a sunny room at times, but this did 
 not take away from its likeness to the doctor, who could 
 also smile on occasion. 
 
 Into this room Mr. Bodie is shown on a summer 
 afternoon by a maid with no nonsense about her in 
 working hours. 
 
 MAID (who knows that male visitors should he 
 impressed at once). This way, sir; I shall see 
 whether Dr. Bodie is disengaged. 
 
 BODIE {doggedly). Miss Bodie. 
 
104 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 MAID {iviih firm sweetness). Dr. Bodie, sir. 
 What name shall I say? 
 
 BODIE {wincing). Mr. Bodie. Her brother. 
 
 MAID (unmoved). I shall tell Dr. Bodie, sir. 
 
 BODIE (a fishier to the last). Miss Bodie. 
 
 MAID. Dr. Bodie, sir. 
 
 (He is surveying the room with manly dis- 
 approval when his sister appears and greets 
 him. She is all that the policeman has 
 said of her, and more ; if we did not have a 
 heroine already we would choose db. bodie. 
 At the same time it cannot be denied that 
 she is enough to make any brother vdnce. 
 For instance, immediately she has passed 
 him the time of day, she seems to be consider- 
 ing his case. Perhaps this is because she 
 has caught him frowning at her stethescope. 
 There is certainly a twinkle somewhere 
 about her face. Before he can step back 
 indigriantly she raises one of his eyelids 
 and comes to a conclusion.) 
 
 dr. bodie. Oh dear ! Well, Dick, it 's 
 entirely your own fault. 
 
 (mk. bodie has a curious trick of kicking 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 105 
 
 backwards mth one foot when people take 
 liberties vrith him, and a liberty has been 
 taken with him now.) 
 
 Kick away Dick, but you needn't pretend that 
 you have no faith in me as a medical man; for 
 when you are really ill you always take the first 
 train down here. In your heart I am the only 
 doctor you believe in. 
 
 BODiE. Stuff, Nellie. 
 
 DK. BODIE. Then why did you put Cinderella 
 under my care? 
 
 BODIE. I didn't know where else to send her 
 when she was discharged from the hospital. Had 
 to give her a chance of picking up. {Thawing.) 
 It was good of you to give her board and lodging. 
 
 DR. -BoniE \»iUing down to her day-book). Not 
 at all. I '11 send you in a whacking bill for her 
 presently. 
 
 BODIE (kicking). Well, I 've come all this 
 way to see her. How is she getting on, Nellie? 
 
 DK. BODIE. She is in the garden. I daresay 
 you can see her from the window. 
 
 BODIE. I see some men only; I believe they 
 are wounded Tommies. 
 
106 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 DR. BODiE. Yes. There 's a Convalescent 
 Home down here. That is part of my job. Do 
 the men look as if they were gathering round 
 anything ? 
 
 BODIE. They do. 
 
 DR. BODIE. Ah! Then that is Cinderella. 
 She is now bossing the British Army, Dick. 
 
 BODIE. I might have guessed it. (Chuckling.) 
 Does she charge a penny ? 
 
 DR. BODIE. Not to the military. 
 
 BODIE. Nellie, I have had some inquiries 
 made lately about her parents. 
 
 DR. BODIE. She doesn't know much about 
 them herself. 
 
 BODIE. No, and we needn't tell her this. 
 Her mother — ah well, poor soul ! — and the father 
 was a very bad egg. And from that soil, Nellie, 
 this flower has sprung. Nobody to tend it. 
 Can't you see little Cinderella with her watering- 
 can carefully bringing up herself. I wish I 
 could paint that picture. 
 
 (Perhaps dr. bodie sees the picture even 
 more clearly than he does.) 
 
 I see her now. She 's on a bed, Nellie. 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 107 
 
 DR. BODiE. Yes. That is for convenience, 
 for wheeling her about. 
 
 BODIE (waving). She sees me. And how is 
 she, NeU? 
 
 DR. BODIE. She is always bright — perhaps 
 too bright. 
 
 BODIE. Can't be too bright. 
 
 DR. BODIE {controlling her feelings). A girl 
 who is found frozen in the street by a policeman 
 and taken to a London Hospital, where she has 
 pneumonia — ^poor little waif! You know, she 
 is very frail, Dick. 
 
 BODIE. I know; but she will get better, 
 won't she ? 
 
 {He has said it confidently, hut his sister 
 looks at him and turns away. He is 
 startled.) 
 
 Come, Nellie, she is going toget better, isn'tshe ? 
 
 DR. BODIE {shaking her head). There isn't 
 much chance, Dick. Her body and soul have 
 had to do too long without the little things they 
 needed. 
 
 BODIE. She shall have them now, I promise. 
 What are they ? 
 
108 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 DR. BODiE. First of all, just food. She has 
 been half starved all her life. And then human 
 affection. She has been starved of that also; 
 she who has such a genius for it. 
 
 (<S^ goes to the vdndow and calls.) 
 DR. BODIE. No. 7, bring Cinderella in 
 here. 
 
 (ciNDERELiA in her bed is wheeled in 
 through the window by the soldier, danny. 
 She is wearing a -probationer's cap and 
 dressing jacket. The bed is a simple iron 
 one, small and low, of the kind thai was so 
 common in war hospitals; it is on tiny 
 pneumatic wheels with bail bearings for 
 easy propulsion. Though frail, Cinder- 
 ella is full of glee.) 
 BODIE. Hurray, Cinderella! 
 CINDERELLA. Hurray ! Isn't it lovely. I 'm 
 glad you 've seen me in my carriage. When I 
 saw there was visitor I thought at first it might 
 be David. 
 
 BODIE. David.'' I didn't know you ... Is 
 he a relative ? 
 
 (CINDERELLA finds thts extremely funny — 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 109 
 
 so does DANNY; even the doctor is dis- 
 creetly amused.) 
 ciNDEEELLA (to Danny). Tell the men that! 
 He *s not exactly a relative. {She pulls Mr. 
 Bodie down by the lapels of his coat.) He 's just 
 that great big ridiculous policeman ! 
 
 BODIE. Oho ! Our policeman again ! Does 
 he come all this way to see you? 
 
 CINDEEELLA (her shoulders rising in pride). 
 Twice already; and he 's coming again to-day ! 
 Mr. Bodie, get the Doctor to take you over the 
 Convalescent Home. There 's a field with cows 
 in it, a whole litter of them ! And the larder ? 
 There 's barrel upon barrel full of eggs and saw- 
 dust, and Danny says — ^this is Danny — 
 
 (dannt, who is slightly lame and is in 
 hospital blue, comes to attention.) 
 Danny says the hens lay in the barrels so as to 
 save time in packing. 
 
 (danny finds the severe eye of the Doctor 
 
 upon him and is abashed.) 
 
 Mr. Bodie, look! {displaying her cap). The 
 
 Doctor lets me wear it; it makes me half a 
 
 nurse, a kind of nurse's help. I make bandages, 
 
no A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 and they 're took away in glass bottles and 
 sterilized. Mr. Bodie, as sure as death I 'm 
 doing something for my coimtry. 
 
 DB. BODIE. Cinderella, you 're talking too 
 much. 
 
 ciNDEEELLA {subsiding meekly). Yes, Doctor. 
 
 DB. BODIE. Dick, I 'm going over ' to the 
 hospital presently. K you like to come with 
 me — really want to see it — no affected interest — 
 
 BODIE. Thanks, I should like it — ^Dr. Bodie. 
 
 DB. BODIE {to Danny). You 're not required 
 any more, No. 7. 
 
 (danny is going thankfully, but she sud- 
 denly puUs him forward to examine his 
 face.) 
 
 No. 7, you are wearing that brown eye again. 
 
 DANNY {who has a glass eye). Yes, Doctor — 
 you see it 's like this. First they sent me a 
 brown eye. Then some meddlesome person 
 finds out my natural eye is blue. So then they 
 sends me a blue eye. 
 
 doctoe. Yes, where is it? 
 
 DANNY. It was a beautiful eye, Doctor — ^but 
 I had taken a fancy to little browny. And 1 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 111 
 
 have a young lady; so I took the Hberty of 
 having the blue eye made up into a brooch and 
 I sent it to her. 
 
 DK. BODiE (withoui moving a muscle). I shall 
 report you. 
 
 BODIE (when the martinet and Danny have gone) . 
 Are you afraid of her, Cinderella.'' I am. 
 
 ciNDEREiXA. No ! She sometimes dashes 
 me, but she is a fearful kind lady. (She pulls 
 him down a^ain for further important revelations.) 
 She 's very particular about her feet. 
 
 BODIE {staggered). Is she! In a feminine 
 way.? 
 
 CINDERELLA. YeS. 
 
 BODIE. Hurray ! Then I have her. The 
 Adulles Heel ! {He is once more jerked down.) 
 
 ciNDEKELiA. I have a spring bed. 
 
 BODIE. Ah ! 
 
 CINDERELLA {in some awe). The first time I 
 woke in hospital, an angel with streamers was 
 standing there holding a tray in her hand, and 
 on the tray was a boiled egg. Then I thought 
 it was the egg you get the day before you 
 die. 
 
112 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 BODiE. What egg is that? 
 
 CINDERELLA. {wJio in the course of a troubled life 
 has acquired much miscellaneous information). 
 In the Workhouse you always get an egg to your 
 tea the day before you die. {She whispers.) I 
 know now I 'm not the real Cinderella. 
 
 BODIE (taking her hand). How did you find 
 out? 
 
 CINDERELLA {gravely). It 's come to me. The 
 more I eat the clearer I see things. I think 
 it was just an idea of mine; being lonely-like I 
 needed to have something to hang on to. 
 
 BODIE. That was it. Are you sorry you 're 
 not the other one? 
 
 CINDERELLA. I 'm glad to be just myself. 
 It 's a pity though about the glass slippers. 
 That 's a lovely idea. 
 
 BODIE. Yes. 
 
 CINDERELLA. Tell me about Them. 
 
 BODIE. The children ? They 're stUl with 
 me, of course. I 'm keeping my promise, and 
 they will be with me till you are able to take care 
 of them again. I have them a great deal in 
 the studio in the day-time. 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 113 
 
 CINDERELLA {cogitating). I wonder if that 's 
 wise. 
 
 BODIE. Oh, they don't disturb me much. 
 
 CINDERELLA. I was meaning perhaps the 
 smell of the paint would be bad for them. 
 
 BODIE. I see! Of course I could give up 
 painting ! 
 
 CINDERELLA {innocently) . I think that would 
 be safest. 
 
 (mr. BODIE kicks.) 
 
 Are you kind to Gretchen ? 
 
 BODIE. I hope so. I feel it 's my duty. 
 
 CINDERELLA (with a sinking). It '11 not be no 
 use for Gretchen if that 's how you do it. I 'm 
 sure I should get up. {She attempts to rise.) 
 
 BODIE. Now, now ! 
 
 CINDERELLA. Are you fond of her, especially 
 when she 's bad ? 
 
 BODIE {hurriedly). Yes, I am, I am! But 
 she 's never bad ! they are all good, they are 
 like angels. 
 
 ciNDEREiiLA {despairing). Then they 're 
 cheatiflg you. Where 's my boots ? 
 
 BODIE. Quiet ! That 's all right. 
 
114 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 (A pretty and not very competent pro- 
 bationer comes in at the window, carry- 
 ing fishing rods, followed by danny vnth 
 croquet mallets and halls.) 
 PROBATIONER {laden). I want to shake hands 
 
 with you, Mr. Bodie, but you see how I am 
 
 placed. 
 
 CINDERELLA. Do your pretty bow at any 
 
 rate. 
 
 {The attractive girl does her -pretty how to 
 MR. BODIE. It is one of the few things she 
 does well, and will prohahly hy and hy 
 bring her into some safe matrimonial 
 harbour ; but in her country's great hour 
 she is of less value to it than a ball of tvnne. 
 She is of a nice nature and would like to be 
 of use, but things slip through her hands as 
 through her mind ; she cannot even carry a 
 few lengths of fishing rods withofut an ap- 
 peal to heaven. She is counting the pieces 
 now wiih puckered brow.) 
 DANNY {one of the few men in the world who 
 
 can carry four croquet balls in two hands). You 
 
 see, sir, there is a pond in the garden, and we 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 115 
 
 have a fishing competition; and as there are not 
 enough rods the men hides them so as to be sure 
 of having a rod next day. 
 
 PROBATIONER. It is Very unfair to the others, 
 Danny. 
 
 DANNY {warmly). That 's what I say. Nurse. 
 
 CINDERELLA. The Matroji found a rod the 
 other morning hidden beneath one of the men's 
 mattresses. 
 
 probation:e!R. The odd thing is how he could 
 have got it to the house without being seen. {Her 
 counting of the pieces ends in her discomfiture.) 
 
 BODiE. Anything wrong? 
 
 PROBATIONER. There are only nine pieces. 
 A whole rod is missing ! 
 
 CINDERELLA {tremhUng for her). Nurse, I 'm 
 so sorry ! 
 
 BODIE. After all, it 's a trivial matter, 
 isn't it .'' 
 
 PROBATIONER {her beautiful empty eyes filling). 
 Trivial ! I 'm responsible. Just think what 
 Doctor Bodie will say to me ! 
 
 BODIE. Are you afraid of her too? 
 
 PROBATIONER. Afraid ! I should think I am. 
 
116 A KISS FOR CINDERELIA 
 
 DANNY. And so am I. 
 
 {Before mk. bodie Ao* time to kick, the 
 terrible one reappears.) 
 
 DR. BODIE. I 'm going over to the Home now, 
 Dick. You must come at once, if you are coming. 
 
 BODIE {cowed and getting his coat). Yes, all 
 right. 
 
 DB. BODIE. A great coat on a day like this ! 
 Absurd ! 
 
 BODIE {remembering what Cinderella has told 
 him and pointing sternly). French shoes on 
 roads like these, ridiculous ! 
 
 (de. BODIE kicks this time — it is evidently 
 a family trait. Delight of danny.) 
 
 DE. BODIE. No. 7, you needn't grin unless 
 there is a reason ! Is there a reason ? 
 
 DANNY. No, no. Doctor. 
 
 DE. BODIE. Fishing rods all right this time, 
 Nurse ? 
 
 PEOBATIONER (faltering). I 'm so ashamed. 
 Doctor Bodie — ^there is one missing. 
 
 DE. BODIE. Again ! I must ask you, Nurse, 
 to report yourself to the Matron. 
 
 PEOBATiONEE {cTushed). Yes, Doctor Bodie, 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 117 
 
 DR. BODiE {observing that dannt is stealing 
 away unobtrusively). No. 7 ! 
 
 DANNT (stUl backing). Yes, Doctor. 
 DR. BODIE. Come here. What is the matter 
 with your right leg. It seems stiff. 
 
 DANNY {vnth the noble resignation of Tommies, 
 of which he has read in the papers) . It 's a twinge 
 of the old stiffness come back. Doctor. I think 
 there 's a touch of east in the wind. The least 
 touch of east seems to find the hole that bullet 
 made. But I 'm not complaimng. 
 
 DR. BODIE (brutally). No, it is I who am 
 complaining. 
 
 (She feels his leg professionally.) 
 Give me that fishing rod. 
 
 (The long-suffering man unbuttons, and to 
 his evident astonishment produces the miss- 
 ing rod.) 
 DANNY (wiihout hope but in character). Well, 
 I am surprised ! 
 
 DR. BODIE. You will be more surprised 
 presently. Come along, Dick. 
 
 (She takes her brother away.) 
 DANNY (the magnanimous). She's great! 
 
118 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 Words couldn't express my admiration for that 
 woman — ^lady — man — doctor. 
 
 PEOBATiONEE. How mean of you, Danny — ^to 
 get me into trouble. 
 
 DANNY (m the public school manner). Sorry. 
 But I '11 have to pay for this. (Seeing visions.) 
 She has a way of locking one up in the 
 bathroom. 
 
 PROBATIONER {vyUh Spirit). Let us three con- 
 spirators combine to defy her. Carried. Pro- 
 posed, that No. 7, being a male, conveys our 
 challenge to her. Carried. 
 
 CINDERELLA (gleefuUy). Go on, Danny. 
 
 DANNY {of the bull-dog breed). I never could 
 refuse the ladies. (He uses the stethescope as a 
 telephone.) Give me the Convalescent Home, 
 please. Is that you. Doctor? How are you.'' 
 We Ve just rung up to defy you. Now, now, 
 not another word, or I '11 have you locked up in 
 the bathroom. Wait a mo; there 's a nurse 
 here wants to give you a piece of her mind. 
 
 PROBATIONER {vjith the stethescope). Is that 
 you. Miss Bodie.'' What.'' No, I have decided 
 not to call you Dr. Bodie any more. 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 119 
 
 (Alas, DR. BODiE returns unseen by the 
 window and hears her.) 
 Please to report yourself as in disgrace at once 
 to the Matron. That will do. Good-bye. Run 
 along. Heavens, if she had caught us! 
 
 DANNY. It would have meant permanent 
 residence in bathroom for me. 
 
 (Jt is then that they see her.) 
 DR. BODIE (afte? an awful -pause). I have come 
 back for my stethescope. Nurse. 
 
 {The PROBATIONER can think of no suitable 
 reply.) 
 DANNY {searching his person). I don't think 
 I have it. Doctor. 
 
 DR. BODIE. Don't be a fool, No. 7. 
 PROBATIONER {surrendering it). Here it is. 
 Dr. Bodie, I— I— 
 
 DR. BODIE {charmingly). Thank you. And, 
 my dear, don't be always Doctor Bodieing 
 me. That, of course, at the Home, and on 
 duty, but here in my house you are my guest. 
 I am Miss Bodie to you here. Don't let me 
 forget that I am a woman. I assure you I value 
 that privilege. {She lingers over Cinderella's 
 
120 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 pillow.) Dear, you must invite Nurse and 
 Danny to tea with you, and all be happy to- 
 gether. Little Cinderella, if I will do as a 
 substitute, you haven't altogether lost your 
 Godmother. 
 
 {She goes, shaking a reproving finger at 
 
 DANNY.) 
 
 DANNY. We 're done again ! 
 
 PEOBATiONER (reduced to tears) . Horrid little 
 toad that I 've been. Some one take me out 
 and shoot me. 
 
 (The MAm comes with tea things.) 
 
 DANNY. Allow me, maiden. 
 
 ELLEN, ©r. Bodie says I 'm to bring two 
 more cups. 
 
 DANNY (whtse manner is always thai of one 
 who, bath/room or no bathroom, feels he is a general 
 favourite). If you please, child. 
 
 PBOBATiONER (as soon as ELLEN has gone). 
 Dr. Bodie is an angel. 
 
 DANNY (quite surprised that he has not thought 
 of ilyis before). That 's what she is ! 
 
 CINDERELLA. Danny, can't you say something 
 comforting to poor Nurse. 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 121 
 
 DANNY (manfully) . I 'm thankful to say I can. 
 Nurse, I 've often had fits of remorse; and I can 
 assure you that they soon pass away, leaving 
 not a mark behind. 
 
 PROBATIONER. Dear Dr. Bodie ! 
 DANNY. Exactly. You 've taken the words 
 out of my mouth. The only thing for us to 
 think of henceforth is what to do to please her. 
 Her last words to us were to draw up to the tea- 
 table. Are we to disregard the last words of 
 that sublime female .'* 
 
 PROBATIONER (recovering). No! 
 
 (Tfie extra cups having been brought, the 
 company of three settle down to their war- 
 time tea-party, the tray being on Cinder- 
 ella's lap and a guest on each side of the 
 bed.) 
 DANNY. Our plain duty is now to attack the 
 victuals so as to become strong in that Wonder's 
 service. Here 's to dear Dr. Bodie, and may she 
 find plenty to do elsewhere till this party is over. 
 PROBATIONER (able to toss her head again). 
 After all, she put us in a false position. 
 
 DANNY. That's true. Down with her! 
 
122 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 PROBATIONER. I drink to you, Danny. 
 
 DANNY {gallantly). And I reply with mine. 
 
 CINDERELLA. It 's qucer to think I 'm being 
 — what 's the word ? — ^hostess. 
 
 DANNY. All things are queer ever since the 
 
 dull old days before the war; and not the un- 
 
 ' queerest is that Daniel Duggan, once a plumber, 
 
 i is now partaking of currant cake with the Lady 
 
 Charlotte something ! 
 
 CINDERELLA {nearly letting her cup fall). 
 What? 
 
 PROBATIONER. You Weren't supposed to know 
 that. 
 
 CINDERELLA. Does he mean you? Are 
 you—? 
 
 PROBATIONER. It 's nothing to make a fuss 
 about, Cinderella. How did you find out, 
 Danny? 
 
 DANNY. Excuse me, but your haughty 
 manner of wringing out a dishcloth betrayed 
 you ? My war-worn eyes, of various hues, have 
 had the honour of seeing the Lady Charlotte 
 washing the ward floor. O memorable day! 
 O glorified floor ! O blushing dishcloth ! 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 123 
 
 PROBATIONER. That was just a beginning. 
 Some day I hope when I rise in the profession 
 to be allowed to wash you, Danny. 
 
 DANNY (bovnng grandly). The pleasure, my 
 lady, will be mutual. {He hums a tune of the 
 moment.) 
 
 'And when I tell them that some day washed 
 by her I '11 be — ^they '11 never believe me' — 
 
 PROBATIONER (with abandon). 'But when I 
 teU them 'twas a joUy good thing for me — 
 they '11 all believe me!' 
 
 DANNY. And when I tell them — and I 
 certainly mean to tell them — that one day she '11 
 walk out with me — 
 
 (In a spirit of devilry he crooks his arm ; 
 she takes it — she walks out wiih him for a 
 moment.) •> 
 
 PROBATIONER (coming to). No. 7, what are 
 we doing ! 
 
 CINDEEELLA. It 's just the War has mixed 
 things up tfll we forget how different we are. 
 
 PROBATIONER (icith a moment of intuition) . Or 
 it has straightened things out so that we know 
 how like we are. 
 
124 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 (From the garden comes the sound of a 
 granuyphone.) 
 
 CINDERELLA. David 's a long time in com- 
 ing. 
 
 DANNY. The four-twenty 's not in yet. 
 
 CINDERELLA. Yes, it is; I heard the whistle. 
 
 DANNY {sarcastically). Would you like me to 
 see if he hasn't lost his way ? Those policemen 
 are stupid fellows. 
 
 CINDERELLA. None of that, Danny; but I 
 would like fine if you take a look. 
 
 DANNY. Anything to oblige you, though it 
 brings our social to a close. None of these 
 little tea-parties after the war is over, fine 
 lady! 
 
 PROBATIONER. Oh dear ! I '11 often enjoy 
 myself less, Danny. 
 
 DANNY. Daniel Duggan will sometimes think 
 of this day when you are in your presentation 
 gown and he is on your roof, looking for that 
 there leakage. 
 
 PROBATIONER. Oh, Danny, don't tell me that 
 when I meet you with your bag of tools I '11 be 
 a beast. Surely there will be at least a smile of 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 125 
 
 friendship between us in memory of the old 
 
 days. 
 
 DANNY. I wonder ! That 's up to you, my 
 
 lady. (But he vnll he vnser if he arranges that ii 
 
 is to be up to himself.) 
 
 PBOBATiONEE {colUng attention to the music). 
 
 Listen ! No. 7 — ^to-day is ours. 
 
 {She impulsively offers herself for the waltz; 
 they dance together.) 
 DANNY {when all is over) . Thank you, my lady. 
 {She curtseys and he goes out rather finely. 
 It is not likely that her next partner vnll 
 be equal to her plumber. The two girls are 
 left alone, both nice girls of about the same 
 age; but the poor one has already lived so 
 long thai the other, though there may be 
 decades before her, will never make up on 
 Cinderella. It would be grand to see this 
 waif, the moment after death, setting off 
 stoutly on the next adventure.) 
 ciNDEBELLA. He is a droll character, Danny ! 
 
 {Examining herself in a hand-mirror.) Nurse, 
 
 would you say my hair is looking right.'' He 
 
 likes the cap. 
 
126 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 PROBATIONER (who will soon forget her, but is 
 under the spell at present). Your David? 
 
 CINDERELLA (oji her dignity). He 's not mine. 
 Nurse. 
 
 PROBATIONER. Isn't he ? 
 
 CINDERELLA. Hey, hey, hey ! Nurse, when 
 he comes you don't need to stay very long. 
 
 PROBATIONER (in the conspiracy). I won't. 
 
 CINDERELLA (cosuoUy) . He might have things 
 to say to me, you see. 
 
 PROBATIONER. Yes, he might. 
 
 CINDERELLA (solemnly). You and me are 
 both very young, but maybe you understand 
 about men better than I do. You 've seen him, 
 and this is terrible important. Swear by Al- 
 mighty God you 're to tell me the truth. Would 
 you say that man loves little children.? 
 
 PROBATIONER (touched). Don't frighten me, 
 Cinderella ; I believe him to be that kind of man. 
 Are you fond of your policeman, dear ? 
 
 CINDERELLA {unnMng). That 's telling ! {Im- 
 portantly.) Nurse, did you ever have a love- 
 letter ? 
 
 PROBATIONER {gaily). Not I! Don't want 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 127 
 
 to; horrid little explosives ! But have you — 
 has he — ? 
 
 CINDERELLA (becoming larger). In my poor 
 opinion, if it 's not a love-letter, it 's a very near 
 thing. 
 
 PBOBATioNEE. If I could 866 the darling 
 little detestable ? 
 
 CINDERELLA. Oh no, oh no, no, no, no ! But 
 I '11 tell you one thing as is in it. This — ' There 
 are thirty-four policemen sitting in this room, 
 but I would rather have you, my dear.' What 
 do you think ? That 's a fine bit at the end. 
 
 phobationer (sparkling). Lovely! Goon, 
 Cinderella, fling reticence to the winds. 
 
 ciNDEBELLA (doing so). Unless I am — very 
 far out — ^in my judgment of men — ^that man is 
 infatuate about me ! 
 
 PROBATIONER (clapping her hands). The de- 
 licious scoundrel ! Cinderella, be merciless to 
 him ! Knife him, you dear ! Give him beans ! 
 
 CINDERELLA (gwgling). I ill-treats him most 
 terrible ! 
 
 PROBATIONER. That 's the way ! down with 
 lovers, slit them to ribbons, stamp on them. 
 
128 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 CINDERELLA. Sometimes I — (she sits up). 
 Listen ! 
 
 PROBATIONER {alarmed). It isn't Dr. Bodie, 
 is it? 
 
 CINDERELLA. No, it 's Mm. 
 
 PROBATIONER. I don't hear a sound. 
 CINDERELLA. I Can hear him fanning his 
 face with his helmet. He has come in such a 
 hurry. Nurse, you watch me being cruel to 
 him. 
 
 PROBATIONER. At him, Cinderella, at him! 
 DANNY (flinging open the door). The Con- 
 stabulary's carriage stops the way. 
 
 (Our POLICEMAN stalks in, wetting his lips 
 
 as he does so.) 
 
 PROBATIONER (giving him her hand). How do 
 
 you do ? You forget, I daresay, that I met you 
 
 when you were here last; but I remember 'our 
 
 policeman.' 
 
 (He is bashful.) 
 There she is. 
 
 (The vyicked invalid is looking the other 
 way.) 
 poucEMAN. A visitor to see you, Jane. 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 129 
 
 CINDERELLA (i»i<AoM< looking round). I thought 
 it had a visitor's sound. {She 'peeps at the pro- 
 BATiONER gleefully.) 
 
 POLICEMAN {very wooden). You don't ask who 
 it is, Jane ? 
 
 CINDERELLA. I thought it might be that 
 great big ridiculous policeman. 
 
 (dannt laughs, and our policeman gives 
 him a very stern look.) 
 
 POLICEMAN {after reflection). I 'm here again, 
 Jane. 
 
 CINDERELLA {admitting it vdth a glance). 
 Perhaps you didn't ought to come so often; it 
 puts them about. 
 
 policeman {cleverly). But does it put you 
 about, Jane? 
 
 CINDERELLA. Hey ! Hey ! {With a cunning 
 waggle of the hand she intimates to the nurse that 
 she may go.) 
 
 DANNY {who is not so easily got rid of). You 
 had best be going too, Robert. The lady has 
 answered you in the negative. 
 
 POLICEMAN {lowering). You make a move 
 there. 
 
130 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 (dannt, affecting alarm, follows the pro- 
 
 BATIONEE.) 
 
 CINDERELLA. I like fine to hear you ordering 
 the public about, David. 
 
 POLICEMAN (humbly). I 'm very pleased, Jane, 
 if there 's any little thing about me that gives 
 you satisfaction. 
 
 (He puts down a small parcel that he has 
 brought in.) 
 
 CINDERELLA (curious). "What 's in the parcel, 
 David.? 
 
 POLICEMAN. That remains to be seen. (He 
 stands staring at his divinity.) 
 
 CINDERELLA {sneering). What are you look- 
 ing at? 
 
 POLICEAIAN. Just at you. 
 
 CINDERELLA {in high delight). Me! There 's 
 little to look at in me. You should see the larder 
 at the Home ! You '11 have a cup of China tea 
 and some of this cake ? 
 
 POLICEMAN. No, Jane, no. {In a somewhat 
 melancholy voice.) Things to eat have very 
 little interest to me now. , 
 
 CINDERELLA. Oh ? 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 131 
 
 POLICEMAN. I Ve gone completely off my 
 feed. 
 
 (Cinderella would have liked the Probationer 
 to hear this.) 
 CINDERELLA (artfidly). I wonder how that 
 can be ! 
 POLICEMAN. Did you get my letter, Jane? 
 
 CINDERELLA {fiolwly). I gOt it — 
 
 POLICEMAN. Did you — did you think it was 
 a peculiar sort of a letter ? 
 
 CINDERELLA (mercHessly) . I don't mind no- 
 thing peculiar in it. 
 
 POLICEMAN. There was no word in it that 
 took you aback, was there? 
 
 CINDERELLA. Not that I mind of. 
 
 POLICEMAN (worried). Maybe you didn't read 
 it very careful ? 
 
 CINDERELLA. I may have missed something. 
 What was the word, David? 
 
 POLICEMAN (in gloom). Oh, it was just a small 
 affair. It was just a beginning. I thought, if 
 she stands that she 'U stand more. But if you 
 never noticed it — (He sighs profoundly.) 
 
 CINDERELLA. 1 '11 take another look — 
 
132 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 poucEMAN (brightening). You 've kept it? 
 
 CINDERELLA. I havc it here. 
 
 POLICEMAN. I could let you see the word if 
 it 's convenient to you to get the letter out of 
 your pocket. 
 
 ciNbEBELLA. It 's not in my pocket. 
 
 POLICEMAN. Is it under the pillow? 
 
 CINDERELLA. No. 
 
 POLICEMAN (puzzled). Where, then? 
 
 (CINDERELLA, m<A charming modesty, takes 
 the letter from her bodice. Her lover is 
 thunderstruck.) 
 
 What made you think of keeping it there ? 
 
 CINDERELLA. I didn't think, David; it just 
 came to me. 
 
 POLICEMAN (elate). It 's infaUa^able ! I '11 let 
 you see the word. 
 
 CINDERELLA (smiling at the ridiculous man). 
 You don't need to bother, David. Fine I know 
 what the word is. 
 
 POLICEMAN (anxious). And you like it? 
 
 CINDERELLA. If you like it. 
 
 POLICEMAN. That emboldens me tremendous. 
 
 CINDERELLA. I don't like that so much. If 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 133 
 
 there 's one thing I like more than any other 
 thing in the world — 
 
 POLICEMAN (eager). Yes? 
 
 CINDERELLA. It 's Seeing you, David, tre- 
 mendous bold before all other folk, and just in a 
 quake before me. 
 
 POLICEMAN (astounded). It 's what I am ! 
 And yet there 's something bold I must say to 
 you. 
 
 CINDERELLA (faltering genteelly). Is there? 
 
 POLICEMAN. It '11 be a staggering surprise to 
 you. 
 
 (CINDERELLA giggUs discreetly.) 
 
 I promised the Doctor as I came in not to 
 tire you. {With some awe.) She 's a powerful 
 woman that. 
 
 CINDERELLA. If you tire me I '11 hold up my 
 hand just like you do to stop the traflBc. Go on, 
 David. Just wait a moment. (She takes off his 
 helmet and holds it to her thin breast.) Here 's 
 a friend of mine. Now? 
 
 POLICEMAN (despairing of himself). I wish I 
 was a man in a book. It 's pretty the way they 
 say it; and if ever there was a woman that 
 
134 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 deserved to have it said pretty to her it 's you. 
 I 've been reading the books. There was one 
 chap that could speak six languages. Jane, I 
 wish I could say it to you in six languages, one 
 down and another come up, till you had to take 
 me in the end. 
 
 ciNDERELiA. To take you ? 
 
 POLICEMAN {in woe) . Now I 've gone and said 
 it in the poorest, silliest way ! Did you hold 
 up your hand to stop me, Jane? 
 
 CINDERELLA. No. 
 
 POLICEMAN (encouraged). But I 've said it. 
 Will you, Jane .'' 
 
 CINDERELLA (doggedly). Will I what? 
 
 POLICEMAN. Do you not see what I 'm driving 
 at? 
 
 CINDERELLA. Fine I see what you 're driving 
 at. 
 
 POLICEMAN. Then won't you help me 
 out? 
 
 CINDERELLA. No. 
 
 POLICEMAN. 11 you could just give me a shove. 
 CINDERELLA (sympathMicoUy) . Try Badgery. 
 POLICEMAN (Jbrigktening) . Have you for- 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 135 
 
 gotten that pool in Badgery Water where the 
 half-pounder used — No, you never was there ! 
 Jane, the heart of me is crying out to walk with 
 you by Badgery Water. 
 
 CINDERELLA. That 's better ! 
 
 POLICEMAN. I would never think of compar- 
 ing Mrs. Bodie to you. For my part I think 
 nothing of uppers. Feet for me. 
 
 (^She gives him her hand to hold.) 
 
 My dear ! 
 
 CINDERELLA. You Said that was only a 
 beginning ! 
 
 POLICEMAN. My dearest ! 
 
 CINDERELLA (glistening). I 'm not feeling 
 none tired, David. 
 
 POLICEMAN. My pretty ! 
 
 CINDERELLA. Hey ! Hey ! Hey ! Hey ! 
 
 POLICEMAN. I don't set up to be a prince, 
 Jane; but I love you in a princely way, and if 
 you would marry me, you wonder, I '11 be a true 
 man to you till death us do part. Come on. 
 Cinders. (Pause.) It 's the only chance that 
 belt of mine has. 
 
 CINDERELLA. No, no, I havcu't took you 
 
136 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 yet ! There 's a thing you could do for me, that 
 would gratify me tremendous. 
 
 POLICEMAN. It 's done. 
 
 CINDERELLA. I Want you to let me have the 
 satisfaction, David, of having refused you once. 
 
 POLICEMAN. Willingly; but what for? 
 
 CINDERELLA. I couldn't Say. Just because 
 I 'm a woman. Mind you, I daresay I '11 cast 
 it up at you in the future. 
 
 POLICEMAN. I '11 risk that. Will you be my 
 princess, Jane? 
 
 CINDERELLA. You promisc to ask again? 
 At once ? 
 
 POLICEMAN. Yes. 
 
 CINDERELLA. Say — ^I do. 
 
 POLICEMAN. I do. 
 
 CINDERELLA {Urmly). It 's a honour you do 
 me, policeman, to which I am not distasteful. 
 But I don't care for you in that way, so let there 
 be no more on the subject. {Anxiously.) Quick, 
 David ! 
 
 POLICEMAN. For the second time, will you 
 marry me, Janp? 
 
 CINDERELLA {who hos been thinking ovi the 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 137 
 
 answer for several days). David, I love thee, 
 even as the stars shining on the parched earth, 
 even as the flowers opening their petals to the 
 sun; even as mighty ocean with its billows; 
 even so do I love thee, David. {She nestles her 
 head on his shoulder.) 
 
 POLICEMAN. If only I could have said it like 
 that! 
 
 CINDERELLA (happily). That 's just a bit I 
 was keeping handy. (Almost in a whisper.) 
 David, do you think I could have a engagement 
 ring? 
 
 POLICEMAN (squaring his shoulders). As to 
 that, Jane, first tell me frankly, do you think 
 the Police Force is romantical ? 
 
 CINDERELLA. They 're brave and strong, 
 but— 
 
 POLICEMAN. The general verdict is no. And 
 yet a more romantical body of men do not exist. 
 I have been brooding over this question of en- 
 gagement rings, and I' consider them unroman- 
 tical affairs ! (He walks toward his parcel.) 
 
 CINDERELLA. David, what 's in that parcel ? 
 
 POLICEMAN. Humbly hoping you would have 
 
138 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 
 
 me, Jane, I have had something special made for 
 you— 
 
 CINDERELLA {thrilling). Oh, David, what is it ? 
 
 POLICEMAN. It 's a policeman's idea of an 
 engagement ring — 
 
 CINDERELLA. Quick ! Quick ! 
 
 POLICEMAN. — ^for my amazing romantical 
 mind said to me that, instead of popping a ring 
 on the finger of his dear, a true lover should pop 
 a pair of glass slippers upon her darling feet ! 
 
 CINDERELLA. David, you 're a poet ! 
 
 POLICEMAN {not denying it). It 's what you 've 
 made me — and proud I would be if, for the honour 
 of the Force, I set this new fashion in engage- 
 ment rings. {He reveals the glass slippers.) 
 
 (CINDERELLA holds Old her hands for the 
 little doves.) 
 
 They 're not for hands. {He uncovers her 
 feet.) 
 
 CINDERELLA. They 're terrible small ! Maybe 
 they '11 not go on ! 
 {They go on.) 
 
 CINDERELLA. They 're like two kisses. 
 
 POLICEMAN. More like two love-letters. 
 
A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 139 
 
 CINDERELLA. No, David, no, — ^kisses. 
 
 POLICEMAN. We won't quarrel about it, 
 
 Cinders; but at the same time. . . . However ! 
 
 (He presses her face to him for a moment 
 
 so that he may not see its transparency. 
 
 DR. BODiE has told him something.)