g>tate ajoUcgc of Agttculturc At Qlornell InijiBrattH SIthtatg Cornell University Library The original of this book is in the Cornell University Library. There are no known copyright restrictions in the United States on the use of the text. http://www.archive.org/details/cu31924013879253 APPLIED BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE BY HERBERT WATSON A. W. SHAW COMPANY CHICAGO NEW YORK LONDON \)5tS COPYRIGHT, 1922, BY A. W. SHAW COMPANY (^^^1^0 rBINTED IK THE UNITED S". ATE9 OV AUERICA PREFACE COMPLETELY to cover theory, routine and individual application in a book is of course ordinarily prohibitive- ly expensive. It was possible in the case of this book because the Course in Business Correspondence prepared by Mr. Watson for the A. W. Shaw Company could be drawn on to any extent desired. In the Course Mr. Watson brought together the results of many years of experience of the correspondence experts of the Shaw organization and several years of work which had been undertaken preparatory to publishing a course in business correspondence which would adequately reflect this experi- ence. To this unique background he added the lessons crystallized during the years he had himself specialized in selling and business correspondence. Mr. Watson was for- merly in charge of the mail sales departments of the A. W. Shaw Company, has been similarly connected with other concerns, and has for a nmnber of years maintained, in New York, offices as an advertising and sales specialist. The Course in Business Correspondence amply justified the expectations which this unusual background warranted. Its success uncovered a demand for a similarly comprehen- sive treatment of the subject, but without consultation privileges and some of the detailed developments only possible in an extended course. The publishers decided to supply this demand by drawing together into this book the necessary text from the Course itself. To the reader not interested in undertaking a supervised course in business correspondence, this book therefore sup- plies several of those distinctive characteristics of a course of study ordinarily not to be expected of a book. It contains complete machinery for the application, step by step, of its BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE exposition. The division in the treatment is in fact so marked that the portion of the text providing specific apph- cation can be skipped, and the exposition alone — ^in itself a complete book on business correspondence in the usual sense of the expression — ^read for purposes of review or coverage of the subject in the usual way. In connection with the provisions for application, each section is followed by problems. These problems are obvi- ously specific assignments of work intended merely to make clear the application of the principles discussed in the text. They are in no way to be confused with the fundamental and illustrative type of problem characteristic of the case method of instruction used in the group of books now being written by members of the faculty of the Harvard Graduate School of Business Administration and published by the A. W. Shaw Company. The headings of the letters reproduced illustra- tively have been in the majority of instances informally set up without any attempt to indicate the actual 'letterheads involved. In many cases they for obvious reasons contain fictitious names. The final application section was written by W. S. Zimmerman, formerly Director of the Educational Division of the A. W. Shaw Company. VI CONTENTS Preface PART I Sizing Up the Work Your Letter Must Do 1 Getting the right start for the study of letter writing. — The importance of mastering each point as it comes up. — Know- ing before you start what purpose you want to accomphsh. — ^How to size up the complete "load" which your letter must carry. — Gaging the "self-interest" of the man you are writing to. — Turning ideas into words. — How to overcome the indif- ference or opposition of the reader to your idea. — What to avoid using in your letter. — Determining your prospect's attitude to your proposition. — The method of approach. — When it is necessary to inspire enthusiasm. — The creation of self-interest. — Why a successful letter writer must carefully analyze and lay out his problem before starting.- — Combining the theory and practise of letter writing. PART II Expressing Feeling or Ideas in Words 51 The fundamentals of the art of good letter writing. — Making your prospect visualize your product. — The negative effect of unsupported statements. — The underlying principle of good letters. — ^How to estabhsh the "big idea" of your letter. — Picking the "features" of your letter.— Connecting the "features" with the "big idea." — How atmosphere is secured. — Why some letters grasp your attention. — The reason one letter failed. — Changing a poor letter into a good one.— An example in picking "features."— Simple language as a strong point in letter writing.— How to avoid jarring the thought of your letter out of the reader's mind— Applying these principles to other letters. — Points to be considered when writing a complaint letter.— How to build up a feeling of satisfaction. — A good collection letter and how it was written.— A plan for overcoming indifference.- The indirect approach and how to build it up. VII BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE PART III Overcoming Indifference or Opposition 107 How to overcome the weakness of the buyer. — Two great orations, Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg address and Inger- soU's nominating speech for Blaine: how they help the letter writer. — The consideration given to the attitude of the audience. — A comparison of the orations with two successful business letters. — The negative argument in letter writing. — A practical test of a negative argument. — Examples which show how to meet the reader's attitude. — Two letters which failed, and why. — Consideration of the "willing" and "unwilling" types of reader. — The "big idea" and "features" in a visionary appeal. — Analyzing the construction of the negative idea. — Its use in a good collection letter. — How to win over an indif- ferent reader. — Underlying methods of a glove dealer's suc- cessful letter. — Breaking down dealers' indifference. — An exception which proves the rule. — Using the visionary idea in a successful dealer's letter, a result-pulling sales letter, and a subtle collection letter. — A sales series, and how it can best be handled. — An analysis of the first four letters of a collection series. PART IV How to Make Your Meaning Clear 179 Why the reader will not translate a jumble of words into ideas. — How to avoid "waste-basket editions" in letter writing. — The importance of using the right word. — Arranging and stacking your ideas logically. — Herbert Spencer on "The Philosophy of Style." — How to express the idea so that it will live in the reader's mind. — An analysis of Victor Hugo's greatest description. — UtiUzing Hugo's "arrangement of features " in a successful sales letter. — The principle of piling small ideas on big ones in letter writing.^ Victor Hugo's idea applied to a matter-of-fact letter. — Working your |prospect up to an appreciation of your proposition. — How to group ideas for easy reading. — Holding the reader's attention by saving his mental energy. — A collection letter which builds up a powerful picture by suggestion. — An example where wide gaps between the "features" ruined the letter. — Avoiding short letters which leave too much mental work for the reader. — Lincoln's statement that a man's legs should be "long enough to reach the ground " applied to letter writing. — Being sure that the letter actually carries the complete "load," as a principle for determining length. — Choosing the right VIII CONTENTS words. — Why the language of a letter should be determined by what you are writing about and to whom you are writing. — What Spencer has to say regarding the choice of words. — Learning from Edgar Allan Poe how to select words. — Acquir- ing style through a self-compiled dictionary of your business trade terms. — How to build such a word file. — Where to find the words. — An easy method for sorting your ideas. — How to use the word file with the least efiPort. PART V How TO Make Your Letter Sincere 243 Why readers often fail to believe the truth when it is written. — Reasons why some people find it easy to win the confidence of others. — Creating friendliness in a letter. — How the point of contact helps letter writers. — Bookish theory boiled down to practical business principles. — What the letter writer can learn from the salesman. — How to put over the impression of a strong, sincere, winning personality. — Analyzing the typical complaint letter. — A successful answer to this letter. — How to arrive at a basis of mutual understanding. — A sales letter which attracts attention in the first paragraph. — An example of a letter which beams with frankness and sincerity. — Personality as a personal quahty, how to develop and use it in your letters. — How successful letter writers make their per- sonality felt. — Why the "you" in letters sometimes is a mixed blessing. — The fault with "you" in m&ny letters. — Turning the "you" in a letter to your own use. — Sizing up the "load" of the typical "you" letter problem. — Making " your interest and mine" the connecting link. — A successful appeal to human nature. — How dividing the Big Idea into "features" makes interests mutual. — Why sizing up the "load" is helpful. — Why a human appeal gets results. — A letter that won a good job in spite of strong competition. — The importance of understand- ing the prospect's doubts.— Copy which pulled 36% returns, and the reason behind it. — The thought behind it. — The thought behind Mr. Eoot's appeal to the Russian people. — The same thought apphed to a simple business letter. — Apply- ing this principle in the letter to "Smith" — Putting mutual un- derstanding and sympathy in the very first hne. — Getting "Smith" in a receptive mood for your thought. — Clinching the thought of your sincerity in "Smith's" mind. — Building a credit man's letter on the same idea. — A garage man's letter which reflects a keen personality.— Putting both dignity and good fellowship in letters.— The knack of sincerity, and how anyone can cultivate it. IX BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE PART VI How TO Make Your Letter Persuasive 291 How to start the motive power which makes a prospect act. — Human actions and the influences which prompt them. — Using persuasion to arouse a viotive for action. — The difference between motives and ideas. — A sales letter, and why it failed. — Turning the love motive to business uses. — The six motives from which all human action springs: love, gain, duty, pride, self-indulgence, self-preservation. — Determining whether a letter carries persuasion or not. — Using curiosity as a motive. — Billy Sunday's use of the six prime motives. — Sunday's methods applied to an everyday business problem. — How to find "fuel" which will arouse a motive for acting. — The effect of mixing "fuel" with the "features." — Using imagina- tion as "fuel" in a collection letter. — Mystery, and how it may be worked up to get results. — How the Self-indulgence motive can be used. — Why a classification of motives helps to write a letter. — A system built upon the same principle. — Determining the quantity of motive "fuel" a persuasive letter requires. — A successful sales letter and why only a little "fuel" was used. — How to write collection letters that get results. — Applying the "motive" principle to a sales letter series. — How to select the best motive for a letter. — Why the Self-Preservation motive is the most difficult to arouse. — The best method for attracting the slow-pay cus- tomer. — Distinguishing between the idea that the reader is to be sold on, and the' motive that persuades him to sign the order. PART VII How to Make Your Letter Get Action 349 Impulse and the part it plays in making people act. — How sales- men make use of the old circus idea for securing action. — How to determine whether or not the close of a letter is effective. — How suggestion generated action in one sales letter. — Why one collection letter pulled in the money. — An unsuccessful close which made it possible for the reader to side-step the issue. — Why a "let-down" at the close spoils a letter. — How a purchasing letter put its idea across.— Making it hard for a reader to decline the action desired. — Closing a sales letter. — How the reader was made to act. — A slight change in a collection letter which increased results by 80%. — A letter which won a good job for an advertising man. — Building up a close for a successful sales letter. — How the reader's fear of CONTENTS losing a good opportunity was aroused. — How to analyze your proposition. — The final action desired, the motive, the preliminary job, the easy connecting path. — How to use this analysis in everyday work. — A letter worked out on this principle that secured women sales agents by the score. — Using the idea to secure dealer cooperation. — How to insure that your reply blanks come back to you. — Why the enclosure should be given as careful consideration as the letter. — A good plan to follow when specifications are part of the order. — How to make legal requirements simple — Other ways of putting a punch at the close of your letter. PART VIII How TO Make Your Letter Grip Attention 397 The importance of the beginning of a business letter. — How to attract and hold the reader's attention in your form letters. — A follow-up letter which gripped the attention of its reader. — Insuring that the busy man reads your letters by putting yourself in his place. — The two elements to be considered when planning attention -grippers : the receiver's attention; the idea to which his attention must be led. — ^How the busy reader may be led to pick out your letter. — Gaging the atten- tion-rays, of your reader. — The second step in building up grippers: selecting the "feature" of your letter which can most easily be built up to constitute a stopper. — A stopper which drew the attention of women readers. — Two letters and two stoppers compared: why one was a success and the other a failure. — The four principles of getting attention. — A practical test of these principles. — Linking up a stopper to the Big Idea of a sales letter. — How a good opener overcame a weak close. — How to choose an attention-ray. — One "don't" to keep in mind as you work up an opener: never attract atten- tion merely for the sake of attracting attention. — The idea behind an opener that lined up book lovers. — Gripping the attention before the prospect begins to read. — Adapting the idea of the stopper to the envelop. — Why unique and original schemes are not always necessary or best. — An example of how the "features" of a letter may be used as openers. — How an appeal to women was based on a feature. — The importance of h'miting your appeal so as to attract the essential attention- ray of your letter. — A useful idea on hunting the possible attention-rays of readers.— How "fuel" for the motive may also be used. — Bringing your appeal into prominence at the very start of your letter.— A final suggestion regarding the building of attention-stoppers. XI BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE PART IX Planning Letterheads, Envelops and Enclosures 451 The mechanics of the letter: new ideas on enclosures. — The purpose of the letterhead. — How it developed. — A first con- sideration: are your letterheads and envelops safe, efficient vehicles for carrying the "loads" of your letters.? — ^A simple letterhead: how, when and where to use it. — Considering the letterhead and envelop from your own viewpoint. — Establish- ing confidence by our letterhead and envelop. — Building up or protecting reputation. — When a decorative efi'ect is desir- able. — How to specify the work of designing correspondence forms. — Charting the work your letterheads ought to do. — A practical test in laying out a sales letterhead. — Questions to ask yourself when you face this problem. — An answer to the question "Should officers' names have a place on the letter- • head?" — ^How to make type and paper reflect your personality. — Facts which are often needed on a letterhead. — The science of efficient stationery applied. — Simplicity, as an ideal to be striven for, when working out a letterhead. — Special letters which require an out-of-the-ordinary make-up. — The rule to apply as you design the card for an envelop. — The cover to use for circular letters and special mailings. — When varying the character of the stationery pays. — How to decide on the size and shape of letters and envelops. — The three types of enclosures: missionary, reenforcement and selling. — Missionary circu- lars and the purpose they serve. — Reenforcing a letter by the use of a special circular. — Selling enclosures and how they may be put to work. — Viewing your business as a whole when enclosures are planned. — Increasing sales through using a series of circulars. — New ways to reenforce a selling letter. — Why many enclosures stuffed in letters fail to get results. — When enclosures will fail in their purpose. — Booklets which will increase the returns on a sales letter. — A chart which helps analyze the needs of a sales letter. — A chart which helps analyze the needs of a letter. — How to use the chart. — A fundamental to base the plan of the circular on. — Giving the Big Idea first consideration. — Selecting "features" that will reenforce the sales letter. — How to figure the costs on an enclo- sure. — A plan which helps when cutting costs is necessary. — Mechanical layout : the first steps in making a dummy. — How to meet the mental process of the reader. — Making it easy for the reader to get the idea of your copy. — How to route the attention of the indifferent prospect. — Prices and other ways of reenforcing the text. — Meeting the natural question of the prospect. — How to get an artistic balance. — When it will pay XII CONTENTS to disregard the rules of the artist. — What the layout man can learn from his salesman. — The value of putting the Big Idea squarely up to your reader. — Contrast, and how it should be used to get the best eflFect. — The use of colors from a busi- ness point of view. PART X Organizing Correspondence Work and Testing Letters ^ 501 The first principles of producing a letter and its enclosures. — Using with greater effectiveness the letters you write. — The first steps in organizing the letters used in a business. — Increas- ing your letter-writing facilities as the business grows and develops. — A one-man-business organization chart for han- dling letters. — How a form paragraph system is gradually developed. — Organizing the routine for easy handhng of let- ters to carry the same "features." — Putting a word file to use. — A simple index which lightens the work of the dictator. — The simplest method of using a system of form paragraphs. —Some plans of indexing to be avoided. — An outline of a thoroughly successful indexing scheme. — Where and how to begin organizing a form-paragraph system. — Why a study of old letters will suggest Big Ideas on which to build. — Your next step: picking "features" and visualizing them. — Getting the right "openers" for your form letters. — How to find the reader's mental attitude and the approach to it. — Fundamental types and why it pays to hunt for them. — How to work over and standardize paragraphs for form letters. — Methods of indexing which may be adapted to your system. — When a system of paragraphs will save money. — How to reduce letter writing to automatic routine. — Using forms in smaller busi- nesses as an aid to dictation. — Dictating from forms to speed up production of routine letters. — Form-letter systems and how they help to meet standard needs. — How to handle com- plaints, inquiries and collections with letter forms. — Building the routine for circular-letter systems. — The first step to take in testing a letter for pulling power. — Little errors which testing will help to disclose. — How the test will increase profits or stop losses. — How practical ideas are brought to light. — What a series of tests on a list of bankers disclosed.— How a local selling campaign indicates the trend of the market. — A way prices and policies may be tried out. — How to profit by the facts that a test brings to light.— Analyzing results and checking up on the mailing. XIII BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE PART XI Materials for Letters and Uses for Them 543 How to find new uses for your letters and material for them. — The conditions which determine mailings of business letters. — A simple principle: why a letter which will accomplish some definite benefit greater than its cost should be the controlling factor in deciding on a mailing. — The real reason why some circulars fail to get results. — One way of making letters to the trade bring in orders. — An Idea Record, and how it can be used in any business. — How live ideas may be merchandised within the business. — A chart which shows how letters can help your business. — Seven generic types which include all business letters. — Analyzing to find new uses for your circular matter. — Final touches that make the chart a help to the advertising man. — How the chart of ideas can be put to per- manent, practical use. — How an Idea Record is used by an automobile distributor. — Classifying the field for circulars and for advertising copy. — How an Idea Record will suggest new plans for publicity. — Suggestions for using old ideas in new ways. — How an Idea Record turned failure into success for one firm. — Putting the Record to work: where the ideas come from. — How the store owner may profit by using the chart. — An answer to the question, "What Shall I Write About.'"' — A banker's experience in making letters bring in new depositors. — Where to get ideas for the letter you have to write. — A "scout letter" which helped to bring in new ideas. — How a laundry secured new ideas for letters. — How to build up and maintain representative mailing lists. — The sources of lists for any going business: directories, lists compiled by houses in allied but non-competing lines, lists sold by regular list houses. — How references to permanent lists may be made easily. — The importance of retaining the identity of individual lists. — Keep- ing the maihng lists weeded out and up to date. — How to apply the "clean-up" mailing idea to your list. Index 595 XIV PART I SIZING UP THE WORK YOUR LETTER MUST DO CHAPTER I SIZING UP THE WORK YOUR LETTER MUST DO THERE is but one good place to begin a study of the writing and the use of business letters, and that is at the very beginning. Probably most of us could write a pretty fair letter right now for almost any purpose. Doubtless many of us could write a masterpiece for some purposes. But there is some- thing that all of us aren't so well versed in as we want to be or we wouldn't be studying. There is something that every last one of us lacks or we would be supermen at writing. So we shall begin at the very beginning of good letter writing and master each 'point as it comes up, just as if we knew noth- at all about it now. In that way we shall be sure not to skip one thing or fifty things that each of us needs. We shall begin as far down on the ladder as, let us say, the first step a retailer must take when he wants to write a letter to his jobber ordering a single barrel of sugar — about as simple a matter as we can conceive of for a letter. And then we shall go on to the time when the same grocer wants to order 20 barrels, some to be shipped on one date, some on another, and the balance to be held for orders — not quite so simple. We shall see what he must do when he wants to write a letter that will get his order for 100 barrels filled after the jobber's credit man has cut him down to smaller purchases because of his credit. We shall see what he must do when instead of writing letters to order goods — which are letters anyone is glad to get and attend to — ^he wants to write letters that will sell goods, and those are letters people are not so eager to get and read. 3 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE And so we shall go from the letters of a retailer to those of wholesaler, banker, real estate man, manufacturer or any other business man; from letters which sell or collect to letters which satisfy complaints; from letters which inspire a dealer or salesman to letters which win a job; from one point to another, clear through the field of letter writing, learning as we go how to arouse interest, impart confidence, and win cooperation, up to persuading people to buy some- thing they had not considered buying, or to pay bills they had shown a disposition to postpone or maybe to dodge paying altogether. By taking one point at a time just as it comes up in the natural order of things, beginning with the simplest and most obvious, each point in its turn will be equally simple and obvious. Now then, starting at the beginning, what is the first thing to do in writing any business letter? Obviously, it is to be sure we know, before we start to write, what purpose we want to accomplish. That's ele- mental, but that is just why we start with it. It's the one thing we can all agree on, and from that one point the whole struc- ture of how to write letters will be built. In other words, when you write a letter to anybody for any purpose, the job, reduced to primary elements, is to put something that you — Know — See — Believe — Feel, or — Want into words and phrases that when signed, mailed, and delivered to the one you write to, will be — Read — Understood — Believed — Agreed with, or — Acted upon Your letter may be about only a barrel of sugar that you want a jobber to ship you; it may be about the way you want the sugar shipped; it may be about the belief you have that a certain prospective customer will find your prices lower than others; it may be about the fact that your machine will 4 THE WORK YOUR LETTER MUST DO save lime or labor for a prospect; it may be about a feeling you have that a certain debtor either must pay his bill at once or be sued. But whatever it is that you know, see, believe, feel, or want, you can't make the one to whom you write understand it unless you first get it clear in your own mind — ^not a bit more than you can make a jobber understand what goods to ship you if you don't make either a written or a mental list of them before you write your letter. Isn't that true? You say, perhaps, "Why, no sensible person would write a letter without knowing why he is writing it." But you are wrong. Many men do. Not intentionally, of course, and not always completely. But often a man writes with only the bare "high spots" of his letter in his mind, and, by not having settled in detail all that he wants his reader to understand or to believe, or to agree with, or to act upon, he omits some small but vital point that leaves his letter open to mis- construction. For instance, suppose Smith wrote you and asked you to lend him $100 and, after having thought it over, you decided that you trusted Smith implicitly and were glad to be able to lend him the money. A good letter to Smith will not merely convey the news that a check is enclosed, but will convey that decision of yours — that trust which you feel for Smith and that gladness you have at being able to lend him the money. That is what may be called the "load" your letter must carry. Every letter has a certain "load" to carry — ^whether it be a letter ordering goods, complying with a request, asking a favor, enclosing a catalog, answering an inquiry, soUciting an order, asking payment of a bill, settling a complaint, following up a prospect, inspiring a salesman or a dealer, or trying merely to create good will, or any other kind of letter. In- deed, every advertisement has its "load." So has every sales talk and every speech. 5 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE SPENCER HEATING COMPANY General Offices SCRANTON, PA. A. L. Wallace, Chicago . Dear Sir: Enclosed you will find the heater booklet you asked for. Heaters often LOOK alike. Heater claims may SOUND alike to anyone not personally conversant with the various makes. But once see a Spencer in operation — once talk with the man who OWNS or RUNS one, and you will ask yourself these questions: Why should any reasonable man buy a boiler requiring the large expensive sizes of coal, when the Spencer will give steadier, more even heat with the fine cheap sizes of Pea and Buckwheat #1? Why buy a surface feed boiler which will supply a varying temperature, when the Spencer will maintain a steady even temperature all day, aad all night if desired? Still more, in the mild weather of the Spring and Fall, you can run half the Spencer boiler and secure all the heat you need with minimum fuel cost. Why should I be expected to shovel coal every three or four hours, when I can get a Spencer which will require coaling but once a day in ordinary weather, and twice in severe? In short, you will not consider seriously any boiler but the Spencer once you thoroughly realize what "Spencer Service" is. Our Chicago office, in the Railway Exchange Building, will take pleasure in giving you further details. Will you not avail yourself of their advice on this important question of heating? Yours for Efficient Heating, SPENCER HEATING CO. Panel 1 A GOOD LETTER Above you find the first of a series of powerful, effective business letters which form an integral part of this book on applied business correspondence. In this first chapter we do not deal with the actual writing of letters, but we do supply a number of examples to illustrate the fact that sizing up a letter's "load" is the first work of any correspondent. 6 THE WORK YOUR LETTER MUST DO NATIONAL LEATHER COMPANY Office of the President GRANDVIEW, OHIO H. B. Willis, Waukesha, Wis. Dear Sir: Answering yours of the 15th: Are enclosing herewith descriptive booklet which may prove of interest and assistance in supply- ing your wants. We have illustrated and described some of our leading styles, but if you do not find the style or kind of Pad wanted, please bear in mind we make a great many others. The booklet also contains other valuable information for owners of horses. In reference to prices we would refer you to your nearest harness dealer. That class of trade as well as many retail hardware and also general stores handle Pads. If your dealer is not in position to furnish what is wanted, please give us his name and address and we will co-operate in seeing that your wants are cared for. It will be much more satisfactory, and economical as well, for you to secure the Pads in the manner proposed rather than attempt shipping from here. Transportation charges on small lots are very much higher proportionately than when shipped in larger quantities. Are confident you will find our goods satisfactory in every respect. Our aim has always been to maintain a high standard of quality and workmanship and our registered trade-mark. Rex, as branded on our Pads, is a guarantee of such. The word Rex is stamped plainly on the side of the Pad and unless it is stamped thereon is not genuine. Insist upon your dealer furnishing this kind of Pad and accept no other. Yours truly, NATIONAL LEATHER COMPANY Panel 2 A BAD LETTER Above is a letter which failed utterly to sell its product. Do you see why? If not, this book on applied business correspondence will show you. There's a big lesson for you in this letter and the one on the opposite page. When you finish the text in this chapter, turn back and read them in the light of what you have just learned. In later chapters we'll refer you to them. BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE For that reason, just as a shipping clerk sizes up the load to be shipped before selecting the packing and wrapping materials, so a good letter writer or ad writer or salesman or speaker should first size up the "load" his letter or adver- tisement or speech is to carry. And he can't be too sure that he has the "load" clear in his own mind before he attempts to select words or enclosures with which to impart it to someone else. Surely we are all agreed on that much. Some of you may think it too plain, too obvious. It is elemental, but it's the step at which good letter writing begins. This first panel you will find is the beginning of a wonder- fully helpful chart which is to be built up in the pages which follow. With this chart as a background, every step from checking the most subtle sales letters of great national advertisers to studying the most powerful collection letters of the shrewdest collection men will be as clear and easy as this first step. What Is the Complete "Load" My Letter Must Carry? (Section 1) Panels After you have laid out in your mind, or on paper, what thoughts or facts or decisions you want your reader to get, as Panel 3 above suggests, then, like the shipping clerk sizing up the case or the kind of packing or quantity of padding to use on his load, it is time for you to size up: — How willing the man you write to is going to be to read your letter. — How hard it will be for him to understand your letter. — How readily he will believe your letter. — How quickly he will agree with your letter. — How ready he will be to act on your letter. That follows quite naturally. 8 THE WORK YOUR LETTER MUST DO Of course, if there is nothing you want the reader to act upon, dismiss all bother about that step. If what you say has nothing about it that needs the reader's agreement, dis- miss that part. If there is to be nothing about what you say that might be doubted, dismiss that part. The same is true as to his understanding it or reading it. But you should always decide on these points before you start to write or dictate. As to how willing a man is to read your letter: in the case of a grocer sending an order to a jobber, or in the case of a letter to your friend Smith conveying the decision that you trust him and are glad to lend him the money he asked for, anyone can see how foolish it would be to waste much effort on attracting the reader's attention, or holding his interest. The "load" of such letters is a light one in this respect, as Smith is eager to have your reply, and any merchant is eager for orders. Therefore in the first jobs of letter writing to which we come, the 'problem of getting letters read is merely a matter of having them properly addressed, stamped and dropped in the mail box. But you can easily see that if Smith, instead of being a personal friend, were merely a casual inquirer for your catalog or if the grocer were writing to a list of residents in his city whose trade he wanted, then you couldn't be so sure that the letters would be read. Such letters should be started in a way that will draw the readers into them. So now you can see that the second thing to do, before you can write a good letter, is to consider the person to whom you are writing, your relations with him, and just how much self-interest he will feel when he sees a letter from you; and so we can add a step to the chart which we are building, and Panel 3, with the addition, will look like the drawing on page 12. Now where do we stand? For all letters we see that first we must work out clearly what thoughts or facts or decisions our letter is to carry. Then we must size up the position the one to whom we are 9 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE OnoccRies, CROCkerv |'| i Bmogr and C(.othm Mos^nrEOEiuLO. Iowa ICr. Han-y niUau Uoirtlevlle, Xon Dior 8tri If you do as ArtMld BmAer did • be Itvae flva odlee north*urt of Uontleello on the Boven road > you will have very little trouble vltta your clover and you can etart a field of alfalfa that will ^ow. For three veare Ur. Bader had been trying to get a oatoh of alfalfa and clover* Hie clover came up better than hia alfalfa,- but both were thin in epcte. Either they didn't last through the vinter - or the eeorehing eun of July and Auguet burned theo out. Juet about a ye&r ago to received our flret bottlee of Farmogern vhlch Is nothing but a trade name given to nitrogen-gathering bacteria vhlch all clovere and alfalCa demand. If they are to euccaed* Ur* Bader ueed Farmogern vlth his alfalfa and clover ee^id laet eeason. The reeulte were better than we dreamed of. Ha got three cutting* froB hie alfalfa. Hie clover vae good and he received from 12 to 14 pounds Dore of croam a veelt from the eeffle cattle thia winter than he did laat. Think of it - 14 pounde more of creani a week fron the eame oattltt How Ur. Bcdcr euccooded with these two hard-to-atart cropa ie pretty well explained in the pamphlet eneloeed. Be oure to read- It. On the flret pagee you will find why Ur. B&dcr used Farmogerm - what PariEogerfr la • how it le applied - what it will do - and all about It. If your tine la worth onythlng, it will pay you to etudy thle p&mphlet. Figure what a good catch of clover ueane to you. It neane a hay crop of high feed volue, that will build up rcuecle and beef and Increaee- tbe yield of irdlk. Clover like alfalfa le a 9>eat eoll Improver - It renovatoe the eoil - it gathera aoieture from the. deep aubeoil below - It- •AAh huctUB (the eamo thing you add when you apply manure) - It drawe oltrogDn from the air exid jlepoel''* It In the eoil. It will build up wora out land boeldee giving you o valuable hay crop* Read what the U.G* Dapertment of Agriculture has to say about Fanoogoru and eoll tranafar oa pages 4 and 5 of the pamphlet. FertoogerrD ie clover and alfalfa ineuranoe. Figiira up t&a eect of putting in a crop - the work - the time - tba ooet of clever and alfalfa seed. And than figure out how much you actually loea if yoU do gat a oatott (U!d it winter-kills or burns up, or If it oonee «p thin and you bav» to plant it all over again** Vhsn He, Bader bought hie first bottle of rerfaogerffli he im« to exactly the seme position you are. He didn't know whether it would tfo any good or not. But he knew that Bonethlng was needed, ha raalliad that it was his eoll that was wrong more than iha weathor and tnat rarfflogero proodssd to correct the trouble. Today he ia glad he triad it* H» la ga- ing to uea more thia spring. And you will feel exactly tnt aaffla wrny aftar you ha?a given it a trial* To introtluea 7arroegem, we ere aneloelr.g a ooupon ohook eoo^ for SO osnte worth of gurden eaede with every bottlo. You can aall us your order if you want to* It will receive juet ae careful attention a« If you were hers in pereor trading at the otore. It*a eaay to fill out tha order blank. Juet put d«wn the kind of garden eeede you want and tha mnbar or tottleo of PamogorDf Tours vory truly, OEO, STUHUa^ BONO CO. CR9/0T OEO. STUHU^ BONO CO. Panel 4 10 THE WORK YOUR LETTER MUST DO De&r Sir: Such good results were obtained by our customers using Reedman's Nitrogen Fertilizer last year that we have arranged to increase our capacity for production this year. A large proportion of those who used it last year have voluntarily written us giving us an account of increased crops obtained through its use. We have arranged for the production of a larger amount this season and accordingly have decided to reduce the price on larger orders. In the future our five-acre bottles will be furnished for $6 instead of |9 as heretofore. Fifty acres will be furnished at one time for $55, and one hundred acres at one time for $100. The price for single acres remains the same — and the garden size 50 cents. It is important that you send us your order as promptly as possible that we may have the nitrogen prepared and shipped from the laboratory to you when you want it. Spring planting is now coming on, so that you should have the nitrogen on hand, ready for use when the weather is just right. Reedman's Fertilizer is the best and cheapest way for you to increase this year's crops. We enclose booklet and order blank which we hope you will use now without laying it aside. Yours truly, REEDMAN FERTILIZER CO. By J. Q. R. Harding, Ind. Panel 5 A SUCCESSFUL LETTER AND A LETTER THAT FAILED By way of contrast, compare this letter with the one on the opposite page used in selling a culture of nitrogen-producing bacteria for use with clover or alfalfa seed. The letter on page 10 sent to 1,500 farmers by a general store in Iowa made 20 sales by mail and brought 150 men in to ask for further information. It satisfies all the requirements of a good sales letter. The above letter is from the producer of another brand of nitrogen bacteria. Though his profit from effective letters might have been a hundred times that of the Iowa merchant's, his opening is weak and hackneyed, and his argument unsupported by any evi- dence. The one selling point which he puts forward is price reduction, 11 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE writing will take towards our letter; that is, whether he will be willing to read the letter without being teased or surprised or influenced into doing so. Ordinary business letters, such as regular correspondence with customers, dealers, salesmen, and others, are practically sure to be read. If the reader did not have an interest |i I1||'!"''i'. OUB PROOF:- If the altitude of s cooe la equal the length of a cylinder And the diameter of base of cone Is equal the dlaneter of cylinder Than, the cubical contents of cone Is Just one-third that of cylinder. Therefore^ every time you use a knife or a machine to sharpen a lead pencil you lose Just two-thlrda of the lead. YOUR PBOOF:- ^. e. D. HaJce a comparative test of the BJaisOeJI PEKCILS - samples of which we have nailed - with wooden pencils of equal grades- you will find that one B/ataOeJ / 'Mill outlast two wooden panclls. Needle points are not re- quired for ordinary work. I Youra very truly, ejaisOoil Paper Pencil Company Panels THE OTHER MAN'S WAY Here is an idea for you. Don't miss it even if you do not happen to be in the particular hne of business actively involved. The value of this book on applied business correspondence lies in the fact that it makes you think. The text will tell you how to write letters. The illustrations, like the one above, will supply ideas, not to copy, but upon which to build. 18 THE WORK YOUR LETTER MUST DO CONGER AND COMPANY MANUFACTURERS' AGENTS HOSIERY E. H. Graham & Co., Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Gentlemen: You believe in buying the best and cheapest hosiery you can possibly buy, don't you? But how about the goods you have been buying, were they entirely satisfactory? When we started in business we were thoroughly convinced that the public cares as much for quality as for price, with that belief behind us we selected as our motto (QUALITY FIRST) and we think we are right, the public does want quality — you want quality in whatever you buy. We handle (2) grades of 200-N. half hose, made from selected combed yarns, (1) grade of 144-N. hose looped or sewed toes, in either grades sizes run from 9 to llYz, also (1) grade of Misses' Ribbed Hose made from a frame spun yarn, sizes run from 5 to 9%, put up in bundles of 2/12 doz. or (1) doz. boxes, sizes in code or regular figure, price, terms, and samples will be sent on request. Remember that the very life of our business depends on giving absolute satisfaction as to price, quality, promptness, safe delivery, close attention to details and the fair treatment of every customer, so we guarantee you satisfaction. Please write us, whether you order now or not, you are sure to have some questions you'd like to ask, and we will be glad to answer them. Let us know exactly how we can serve you. May we look for your letter in the return mail? Very truly yours, CONGER & COMPANY DHH/E D. H. H. Panel 10 BURNING STAMPS The best thing about the other man's mistakes is that they often show up our own. That's why we print the letter above. The writer of it might as well have burned the stamps which carried it. Its fault? That's easy. The "I" point of view throughout. Later chapters will show you how to substitute tor the "I" attitude; the "'you and I" attitude. 19 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE from you without responding; or, as in the case of specialty manufacturers whose prospects think they are getting along well enough without your article; or, as in the case of debtors who have ignored your statements and letters. You cannot go far in practical business letter writing or in straight selling or in talking to the public in any capacity, without meeting such indifference or opposition; and merely to bombard it with repetitions of your original selling idea or collection idea is wasted energy. You must consider your reader's position; and when you conclude, either from circumstances or from previous cor- respondence, that a condition of indifference or opposition Will the Reader Be Indifferent or Opposed to Considering My Idea— or Will He Be Open-Minded? (Section 4) What Is the Feeling or the Big Idea I Want the ReaderTo Get? (Section Sa) Will the One To Whom 1 Am Writing Feel a SeK-lnterest When He Sees a Letter from Me? (Section 2) What Is the Complete "Load" My Letter Must Carry? (Section 1) Panel 11 20 THE WORK YOUR LETTER MUST DO exists, then your idea should be presented by more indirect or visionary or negative methods for the purpose of over- coming indifference or opposition. Conveying an idea or expressing a feeUng in a direct, graphic way will be gone into in detail in the next chapter, as I have said; and then in a further chapter I shall tell you how to put the idea over even to indifferent readers. But before you can grasp the principles to be brought out we must lay down the whole system of letter construction in skeleton form. And so in Panel 11 on the opposite page you'll see another step (Section 4) added to the chart we are building. The next step, in starting to write, is to make sure that our letter will be understood by the reader. We must, in other words, consider the nature of the idea or feeling we want to convey and the amount of mental effort necessary for the person or persons to whom we are writing to grasp it. Because right away in considering different people, we think of some who can't understand unless things are plain. Before we start writing or dictating to people about our goods, we must consider how much or how little they know about such goods; before we start to write our motives or reasons for a certain act or desire, we must consider how familiar or acceptable such motives or reasons are. For instance, in expressing trust and cordiality to Smith in connection with his loan it is easy to be quite clear. But when it comes to letters about merchandise or machinery or service — or anything of that nature — we all have a nat- ural tendency to use trade expressions, descriptive phrases, technical terms, or similes, that mean much to ourselves but little to the person outside the business. Then, too, it is easy to get so close up to your own business; for details of your proposition to get to be such an old story to you; for those little preliminary explanations that you went over for yourself before you started writing to become such a matter of course to you; in a word, it is easy to be so full of your subject yourself that you go on talking or writing to the other man as though he knew all about your business, 21 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE or all that had passed through your mind, as well as you know it. Not one of us but has this trouble, and to avoid it we must, in getting ready to write, size up our reader's knowledge of, or sympathy for, what we are going to say to him. This is an extremely important point, and yet it is so frequently overlooked that it has been made a separate step in the chart which we are building. Notice it in the panel below. Of course, in this sizing-up process which we are learning in Is the Reader Familiar with the Subject of My Idea. or In Sympathy with the Nature of My Feeling? (Section 5) Will the Reader Be Indifferent or Opposed to Considering My Idea— or Will He Be Open-Mlnded? (Section 4) What Is the Feeling or the Big Idea I Want the Reader To Get? (Section 3a) Will the One To Whom I Am Writing Feel a Self-Interest When He Sees a Letter from Me? (Sectiort 2) What Is the Complete "Load" My Letter Must Carry? (Section 1) Panel 12 22 a i THE WORK YOUR LETTER MUST DO this chapter we can hardly stop for everything. It is enough to know that this point hasn't been overlooked. In the fourth chapter it will be covered carefully. We shall learn there how to make use of what we know about the reader; that is, how to adapt our style or our tone or our phrases or our very words to his understanding so that we can make our letter appeal to him the way the Stuhler letter shown on page 10 appealed to the farmers it was written to; or we can build up our idea to fit exactly our reader's turn of mind, as does the Blaisdell Pencil letter on page 18. We shall learn from simple, clear principles how so to construct our sentences and phrases; so to choose our words; so to group our ideas; and so to put together our statements from first to last, that what we write or dictate will mean to the other man, when he reads it, exactly what we meant when we wrote it — and can by no chance mean anything else. Well, we have covered quite a distance, measured by pages of print, and still seem to be only getting ready. But don't think we are wasting time. I have found, in organizing the correspondence work of many different businesses, and in training many of the men who have been developed in System's own organization, that the most important part of making effective business writers is training them to analyze their work. Of course, the preliminary steps I am outlining here are not always necessary for the construction of every letter. For many letters a quick size-up is all you will need, but even for such letters the order and method of the system now being outlined will give you a more accurate route along which to guide your thoughts. But for the more important letters — ^letters involving large issues, or letters to be used in circularizing — ^you cannot do better than to work out your preparatory steps exactly as they are here set forth. Experience has taught this. In addition, the outline you are now getting will give you a better grasp on the specific instruction that follows. We shall soon be deep in the mysteries of graphically expressing BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE ideas in words, meeting psychological problems, choosing words, and so on; and such mysteries could never be made simple and clear if we did not have all these steps straight behind us, every one of them based originally on the simplest of letter problems. Now let us see how far along we are. If, on the chart we are gradually building up, we were sizing up the work some actual letter had to do, we would know what idea or feeling we had to convey; what steps to take for overcoming indifference or opposition; and what style of language and phrasing to use. In the case of the grocer placing a complicated order for goods, or in the case of granting our old friend Smith his loan, we would be ready to write. But instead of lending Smith the money, suppose you de- cided that you trusted him implicitly and would like to accom- modate him, but that you couldn't really spare the money. Or, suppose our grocer friend, instead of ordering goods, were about to write a prospect that he could save money or get better goods or more prompt service at his store. Then we would find ourselves face to face with the problem of not only making our reader understand, but making him believe. That is second in importance only to being understood — ^in advertising, and in selling, and even in ordinary conversation, as well as in correspondence. If only we can make people believe, then our power to sell, our power to collect money, our power to calm irritation, our power to influence by what we write or say, becomes tremendous. But if people don't believe, then our most vivid descriptions, our most alluring offers, our most specious excuses, become as mere "sounding brass or a tinkling cymbal." You can readily see, in Smith's case, that even if you make your position in not lending him the money perfectly clear to Smith's understanding, unless your style of expressing yourself impresses your sincerity upon him, he may angrily think, "Oh, I know! He's just making excuses — ^he doesn't want to lend me the money." 24 THE WORK YOUR LETTER MUST DO Similarly, a dissatisfied customer, after reading your letter of explanation, may say, "Rot! they simply have my money and now don't care whether the goods make good or not!" Or a prospective customer may, on reading a sales letter, think, "Oh, that's what they all say! He probably doesn't have any better goods than anyone else!" Such conditions arise continually, and hence the safe thing to do before writing a letter is to continue the size-up of your letter problem and see whether or not your letter may have to meet such a reception. So that you can't forget this point, a sixth section has been added to the chart we are building. Notice it in Section 6 on the following page. Where you see the 'possibility of your reader's doubting your assertions then, in addition to watchfulness over the clearness of your idea, you must exercise care in making your style ex- press sincerity. In the fifth part we shall learn the knack of illustrating our points and clothing our assertions or our arguments, so that they win full confidence and breathe the very spirit and atmosphere of honesty, truthfulness, and sincerity. This brings us to another important point that should be decided upon in advance. Suppose that Smith, instead of being just a friend, were a customer whose trade we wanted to hold, and instead of a loan, wanted bigger credit than we felt he was entitled to or good for. Or, suppose our grocer friend were writing to a customer who had been offended and who had stopped trading with him, and the grocer wanted to win back his trade. Or, suppose we were manufacturers of a machine or a piece of merchandise, and a prospect thought our price was too high, or that we took too long to deliver. Business correspondence is full of such conditions which must be met — conditions that require letters which not only put over the big idea and get it believed, but get it agreed with. And in the sixth chapter we shall take up the writing of such letters, and learn the principle of exercising persuasion. 25 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE To Make Him Believe, Do I Have To Change Some Accepted Opinion or Disappoint Some Expectation? (Section 6) Is the Reader Familiar with the Subject of My Idea. or In Sympathy with the Nature of My Feeling? (Section 5) Will the Reader Be Indifferent or Opposed to Considerins My Idea— or Will He Be Open-Minded? (Section 4) What Is the Feeling or the Big Ideal Want the Reader To Get? (Section 3a) Will the One To Whom 1 Am Writing Feel a Self-interest When He Sees a Letter from Me? (Section 2) What Is the Complete "Load" My Letter Must Carry? (Section 1) Panel 13 26 THE WORK YOUR LETTER MUST DO We no sooner find ourselves masters of the art of exercising persuasion, than we meet the necessity for another faculty in order to get our ideas agreed with. That is arousing convic- tion. For instance, suppose our old friend Smith is transformed into one of your salesmen — a good salesman, capable of big things, but fallen into a slump or into careless ways. There comes a time when your letters trying to make him see and agree with the advisability of waking up and going to work, must do something more than exercise persuasion — they must arouse conviction. Or, going back to the fourth step in our chart (Section 4, on page 20) suppose you are writing a sales letter or a collec- tion letter to one of those types you have had to classify as opposed to your idea. You might be a merchant tailor writ- ing to a man, or to a list of men, in the habit of buying ready-made clothes. Or you might be the ready-made dealer going after the buyers of custom-made clothes. You can imagine endless cases under this head. To get such readers to agree with our idea requires a peculiar twist to our arguments that makes them carry hard, cold conviction^,* As it stands now, the chart shows us just what elements our letter is going to require in order to be effective to the highest degree, up to the point of getting some action. Hence we must now add two elements — ^persuasion and conviction — that will have to be used in many letters — some- times one and sometimes the other. So to know when to use either we must size up our letter's load from the angles called for in Sections 7a and 7b in Panel 14, which you will find on the next page. Before we attempt to shape finally, not only the close of the letter, but its whole general policy, we should determine whether the "load" of the letter requires a specific action. Too many writers leave the whole matter of getting action until *How to put that twist into your letters is explained in a later chapter from the bottom up, until it is made as simple as the very first step we took at the beginning of this chapter. 27 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE To Make Him Bellgva^Do I Have To Change Some Accepted Opinion or Disappoint Some Expectation? (Section 0) Is the Reader Familiar with the Subject of My Idea, or In Sympathy with the Nature of My Feeling? (Section o) Will the Reader Be Indifferent or Opposed to Considering My Idea— or Will He Be Open-Mlnded? (Section 4) What Is the Feeling or the Big Idea I Want the Reader To Get? (Section 3a) Wilt the One ToWhom I Am Writing Feel a Self-Interest When He Sees a Letter from Me? (Section 2) What Is the Complete "Load* My Letter Must Carry? (Section 1) Panel 14 28 THE WORK YOUR LETTER MUST DO the close, when it might be much more effective if the whole framework of the letter were adapted to lead up to it. This is particularly true where the action desired is one that requires sustained willingness for it on the part of the reader. Take letters from manufacturers or wholesalers to their dealers to enlist cooperation, or to encourage the use of a window trim or the distribution of advertising matter; or, take letters to consumers seeking to make them ask their dealers for a particular brand of goods; or, take letters to salesmen to promote greater efforts — all of these cases, and many other similar ones that you can easily imagine, require the knack of inspiring enthusiasm. And you cannot inspire enthusiasm by writing the body of your letter in a plain, matter-of-fact way, depending on a "ginger up" or "hurry up" paragraph at the end to carry over this part of the load. Your whole style must be adapted to it. Enthusiasm should be incorporated into your efforts at persuasion — into every paragraph and every sentence of a let- ter. Moreover, these points should be decided in advance. Where the action is definite, one that can be decided and completed at once — as in returning an order card, writing a letter, or sending a remittance — ^it need not always be mixed through the whole letter — it need not always demand the inspiration of enthusiasm — often such things are entirely out of place. A subtle psychological "push" is the best "puller" of results in many types of letter.* Action, then, is the capstone of the chart we are building. In Panel 15, on the next page, you see it so placed as a sort of perpetual reminder to us. Now there remains but one step and our chart will be complete. No doubt you noticed long before this that we have been assuming right along that a letter is sure to be read. Of course, more often than not a writer will have to admit that his prospect will not feel a self-interest strong enough to cause him to be sure to read the letter. *Iii Fart VII we shall get a clear insight Into such cases, and into suggestive ways of stimulating action. 29 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE Does My Idea Appeal to His Reason, Caution or Business Sense? (St'ction 7a) Or Does It Appeal to His Taste, Fancy, Convenience or Personal Side? (Section 7b) To Make Him Believe, Do I Have To Change Some Accepted Opinion or Disappoint Some Expectation' (Section C) Is the Reader Familiar with the Subject o( My Idea. or In Sympathy with the Nature o( My Feeling? (Section 5) Will the Reader Be Indifferent or Opposed to Considering My Idea-or Will He Be Open-Minded? (Section 4) What Is the Feeling or the Big Idea I Want the Reader To Get? (Section 3;i) Will the One To Whom I Am Writing Feel a Self-interest When He Sees a Letter from Me? (Section i) What Is the Complete "Load' My Letter Must Cam? (Section 1) Panel 15 SO THE WORK YOUR LETTER MUST DO Smith will eagerly read your letter answering his request for a loan. The man who owes you money will often read your letters, because, even though he doesn't intend to pay he may be interested in what you are going to do. But just suppose that Smith were only one of many customers of yours, and, instead of asking for a loan, had asked for a sample of a certain article you sell. Your decision is to send him the sample and call his attention to its good qual- ities. In that case you are not so sure he will read your letter — he may merely take out the sample, give your letter a casual glance, toss it aside, and look the sample over from his own viewpoint, totally disregarding what you wanted him to observe in it.* Or, suppose he hadn't written you at all — that his name merely appeared on a trade list. Then we must answer "no" to the second question in the chart (Panel 6, page 12) and create some self-interest for him in our letter. In other words, we must face the job of grip- ping attention. By adding a memorandum to that effect to the chart, (Section 3b) we complete it. You'll find it illustrated on the next page. Don't pass too quickly from this chart. Let all that it graphically calls up sink in. See how it fits your needs, how it alloW's you to size up, in the most thorough, efficient way, that long experience has been able to devise, practically any letter that any business proposition which you encounter will require. All of the factors or elements shown in the chart do not, of course, enter into every letter. But it is of prime im- portance that you find out — before you start to write or to dictate — which ones do enter into your letter and which ones do not. And that is why the chart is such a big help. It practi- cally decides for you the "load" your letter is to carry and the conditions it has to meet, before you even begin to think *The knack of finding points of interest that will make your letter stick up over the commonplace of your reader's mail will be worked out in a later part of this book. 31 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE What Action Do I Desire? (Section 8), Does My Idea Appeal to His Reason. Caution or Business Sense? (Section 7a) OrOoes It Appeal to His Taste,Fancy, Convenience or Personal Side? (Section 7b) To Make Him Believe, Do I Have To Chance Some Accepted Dpinlon or Disappoint Some Expectation? (Section C) Is the Reader Familiar with the Subject of My Idea, or In Sympathy with the Nature of My Feeline? (Section .5) Will the Reader Be Indifferent or Opposed to Considering My Idea— or Will He Be Open-Minded? ^4) 1 What Is the Feelint or the Big Ideal Want the Reader To Get? ■:. . . , • ■ „ i| Then- 1 •»:: In What Is the Reader interested that 1 May Gear Up My Proposition in order To Get His Attention? ; (Section 3a) (S. ction ;3b) Will the One To Whom I Am Writing Feel a Self-interest When He Sees a Letter from Me? (Section ^2) What Is the Complete "Load' My Letter Must Carry? (Section 1) Panel 16 32 THE WORK YOUR LETTER MUST DO of how you are going to write or how you are going to word your letter. Look at the matter this way: it is unreasonable to expect an automobile to show equally good results on all manner of roads if it is kept on one gear. A good driver looks ahead, and when his car is on a long, steep hill, or a congested street, he throws in the low gear; but when it is on a level, straight- away stretch, he puts in the high. So with letters. An experienced letter writer neither fiddles away time on attention-getting schemes for a level stretch proposition he knows his reader is interested in; nor wastes space on detailed description for a clear-road proposition he knows his reader understands ; nor uses eflFort in heavy argument or attempts to arouse enthusiasm for easy grade propositions that he knows his reader feels a pressing need for. In such cases a good letter writer throws in the high speed and gives his reader the gist of what he wants to know in terse, concise form. But when he sees ahead a steep hill of reader's in- diflference for his proposition, or a narrow roadway congested uoith counter arguments or 'prejudices or skepticism, then he doesn't attempt rashly to plunge through, but throws in the slow gear and winds in and out carefully with picked argu- ments and vivid descriptions, or pushes up the hill slowly with convincing, detailed reasons. That's the first step to take when you plan to write a letter — look ahead and analyze what kind of "going" the letter will have to meet when it reaches the reader's hands. And that's what the chart on page 32 does. It shows you how best to take that "look ahead." In concluding this first chapter let us consider some practical examples of actually using the whole chart. That will make the various points clear and perhaps indicate right off the bat to you how you can use the chart in your own business. Take a look at the letter on the next page — it is an actual letter from Factory's own file. In Panel 18, on page 35, see the way the planner of it sized up its work by using the chart BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE THE MAGAZINE OF MANAGEMENT AW. SHAW COMPANY, PUBLISHERS New \brli Oiicago London ChloaeOv 111* Sear Sin Hen are onttlug the groniul from under natrnfaoturlng preoedents. The fabor Mfg. Co. cut Its shop force from lOO men to 70, and at the same time Inorease^ Its OUTRJT 500^ — ■ ty Sotentiflo Managemeot. An eastern maohice ahop, In one department, inoreased outirat Z5%, lorered labor cost 10% to £OjS and inoreased wages Z5% *- by Soientlflo ItTaoagemeat. A ootqietent authority oharges that American railroads waste a milliOD dollars a day lo Inefficient operating methods. The Canadlan-Pacifio la SATING these wastes — by Scien- tific Ifanagement. A keen observer of oonditioos io Europe and America says — "Today the American business man faces a crisis. The increased cost of living demands a readjustment of salaries and wages, inoreased offioiency appears to be the only way out." What doee it all mean to TOO? The page proofs of a new book that answers the qDeetione are now on my desk. For this book, "Row Scienclflo uanagemont is Applied**, not only e:q>lain8 PRIBCIPLES of Soientlflo tiaoagement -- not only shows speolfloally how Taylor, Gantt, Emerson and others have otaanged the whole aspect of oosts, profits and wages for many roaoufaoturers — not only ehows how such plants as the Bnllard iTachlne Tool WOiAs, Sayles Bleacherles, Yale A TooQe, and others ARE af^lying these principles » bnt shows how TOD nay apply Soientlflo Management to YOUR plant. FlTe hundred oopies of this book are now ready. ROUE will be sold. There Is no price that oan boy one. But the book Is FREE. A eubsoription to FACTORY, the Uagaxlne of Organization and Uanagement, brings you "Hov Scientific Management is Applied** without oost, eren transportation prepaid* Sign and mall the enolosed blank TOBAT. VerjTTtmly yotirs. F"J> Circulation Manager ' EdoI. 99.2 Panel 17 THE POWER BEHIND THE PEN If you were building a house would you try to put up the roof first? But, when writing letters, don't many correspondents practically do what amounts to the same thing? They write or dictate a first draft, revise it once or twice, and then send it on its way, A letter should be as well planned and built as any struc- ture. Before setting pen to paper every phase of any letter should be thought out and then it should be built solidly from the ground up. This ability to see a proposition from all sides — to consider, to weigh, and to select — that is the power behind the pen. That power was applied to the successful letter above. The plan behind it is to be found in Panel 18. Study it. See how the chart which we built up was used. Make this method your own. 34 THE WORK YOUR LETTER MUST DO ^jT^ rir:; ^"^^jti^^^ ^^n/- Kui'^^^^ Dan My td«a Appeal to His Reason, Caution or Business Sense? Of DoeNurppeat to His ^MfFancy. CflnemidCe or Pe(fdfial\leT To Make Him Bellave, Do I Have To Change Soma y Accepted Opinion or Disappoint Some Eipectatlan b Is the Reader Familiar with the Suti)ect of My Idea. or in Sympathy with the Nature ol My FeehnpTjIY^ ^AT-cXA. Will the Dnilec I Conslderlns Mjr Idei- ta Indilletenl or OpposEl In (\) uZ/H."' '/♦l'*'*'''*^"^'^ !]-or Will He Be Open Minded^~^| M^T^i^ wiutl. ii« fiflipiLaJja^ ^'" I, wmi [i thi ncjAimi Uea 1 Wint mhjSHrT; «t? ^ tT" tht I Ih, ce« iVmI/B) In order To Gel His Allention? y WW^ 7>^ Kfdl the One ToWhom I Am Writint Ttel a -Sell- Interest When He Sees a Letter frnni He^ ^^ Panel 18 35 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE on page 32. How simply the method and chart work out ! How effectively it brought all the ramifications of the letter's work to the mind of the writer of it so that he was able to start writing with an exact knowledge of just where he had to begin, all that he had to get into it, and just where he had to end. Of course, complete consideration of such a letter must be reserved for later chapters of this book, but letter and chart do make us see right here and now how great a help is the chart on page 32, and how practical it is. Do you not see how your use of such a chart, or at least your use of its principles, would save you time, and keep you from making an error — or an omission.'* That's one side of the question. On the other side, take the simple case of writing to Smith that you can't spare him the money he wants to borrow. Imagine Smith, a friend of yours, appealing to you in an emergency. Imagine your position. Smith has done you many favors ungrudgingly. You have looked forward to paying him in kind, but now that the call has come you can't respond. There's a situation that would tax the ability of the best of us. How should such a letter be written.? What must be said and what must not be said? How can we make him un- derstand.'' How appease his disappointment and how appeal to his reason ? On the opposite page is a chart of such a letter. See how every condition has been provided for.* Don't you see how quickly you could accustom yourself to going at every letter that way, so that after a time you would not need the chart to guide you ; so that your analytical ability would develop into always going right to the bottom of the proposition.? That is the Big Idea of the chart — to make us analyze ; and the Big Idea of this book, as you will find, is to show us bow to analyze. ''A letter to Smith feivsed on thxs^ chart ■^jU appear ia the fifth chapter. ^6 THE WORK YOUR LETTER MUST DO Does My Idea Appeal to His Reason. Caution or Business Sense? OrbupmAppealV^HfTaste^lKi^i >ton«(nleni;e,(nS|rsanalsiiiet To Make Him Believe, Do I Have To Change ! Accepted Opinion or Disappoint Some Expectatiol^X Is ttie Reader Familiar with the Subject of My Idea, or In Sympathy with the Nature of My Feeling? Will the Reader Be Indifferent or Opposed ti Considering My Idea— or Will He Be Open-Minded? What I: Idea I Want the Reader To Ge^^. Will the One ToWhom I Am Writing Feel a Self-interest When He Sees a Letter from Me? PgQSl 19 37 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE In the next chapter we shall begin to make use of our knack of sizing up the letter's load by actually writing — and learn- ing to put so graphically into words an intangible idea, or an almost indescribable feeling, that a person a thousand miles away can see what we want him to see as plain as day, or feel what we want him to feel as powerfully as we feel it ourselves. SUMMARY IN this chapter we have learned that before we start to write or dictate a letter we should size up the work our let- ter must do. We found that there are 10 elements that may enter into the work of any letter. Among them are the "load" of the letter, the reader's interest or lack of interest in it, his willingness to believe what it says, his tendency not to agree with a letter even when he believes, and so on up to securing action, the purpose of practically every letter. Frankly, in this chapter we have been dealing with funda- mentals. But we studied fundamentals, not because some of them were unknown to us, but because we wanted to find a common ground from which any letter writer, no matter how great, no matter how small, his experience, could start. Now that we have found that starting place, we are ready to go on. In the next chapter then, we will begin our study of actual letter writing and learn how to express feeling and ideas in words. How often have you felt, as your written page baf- fled you, that if you could only put your man in front of you and talk to him, how quickly he would feel the point you were trying to make or how quickly misunderstandings would thin out. Well, these are some of the topics we take up in the next chapter. When you are through with it you will not only know what successful men have done when confronted by situations similar to those in which you may have often found yourself, but you will know how to work out of such situations the next time you encounter them. 38 PROBLEM SECTION I IN working out this book on applied business correspon- dence, every principle was based on the actual writing of men who are concededly masters of their craft, and on actual letters that have been used by practical business men and business firms. In these problem sections, however, we shall practise the application of the principles learned from the chapters. We shall often write entirely imaginary letters to illustrate a point, Qr rewrite other people's letters from our own point of view. In this way we can put principles into practise with a little more freedom than if we had to confine ourselves to actually used letters. A complete part, then, will consist of, first, a study of prin- ciples found in the writings and letters of others, as covered in the chapters; and, second, practise in the knack of apply- ing those principles to any and all kinds of letters. In this way we shall get a good working combination of Theory and Practise. Neither should be neglected. It is absolutely necessary, in order to understand what makes a letter pay, to study into the principles of writing; and in order to understand why letters pay it is necessary to study the same principles in the successful letters of others. But that is only half of the work. We don't want to be mere imitators. We don't want merely to adapt the successful let- ters that others have used. We want to be able to create suc- cessful letters of our own. So every time a principle or rule is developed in the chapter, we shall in the problem section haul it in, so to. speak, examine it more intimately and try applying it to some everyday business affairs. 39 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE In each problem section I will look ahead and find, from the examples of letters which appear here and there in this book, good illustrations of the application of each principle brought out in the chapters. I shall then give you the facts necessary to work out a fair application of the principle, and propose that you work out such an application of your own. Then in the following problem section I shall point out the letter in which the principle was successfully used under the same conditions and discuss it. In that way you can not only practise, but you can correct your practise of the principles developed. In this first problem section, then, we want to accustom ourselves to, or "get the hang of," using the chart shown in the first chapter; that is, sizing up the work the letter must do. Perhaps you will be puzzled over making a brief of your letter's "load" — you will be inclined, perhaps, to put all the details down as part of the letter's "load," when you should put down only the heads of the points to be covered. But these you will find are enough to remind you, when you come to write, of the details necessary. If you get confused, see the size-up of "the complete load" in the charts on pages 35 and 37. I know that some people, when they look at the chart, will think it is too complicated, or too "ginger bready," for a prac- tical person to bother with. But if you will just bear patiently with it for a time you will see its true simplicity and its real value. Let me give you a practical example of its worth. A man in New York showed me just recently a letter he had received from a business associate in Oklahoma that showed how even very able men could profitably use such a chart. The writer of the letter is a man of large affairs, long experience, and great ability. At the top of the next page is the letter with just a few things changed in order to disguise it. Now it was not the vagueness about the property that worried the mea who received this letter, as the writer of it 40 THE WORK YOUR LETTER MUST DO Dear George: Can you and your partner take $5,000 each, and lend me $5,000 on a $20,000 deal? It is a 1/32 royalty on a piece of property right near the Dunkley farm and already has five producing wells, yielding 670 barrels a day, and will likely develop not less than 20 wells by next year. The sixth well will be shot next week. Two dry holes so far. It looks good to me and I would like to get a half in it but happen not to have the ready money just now. If you don't feel like making me the loan, would you two take the three quarters for yourselves? Let me know at once as I have to give an answer by the 22nd. Hastily, was a trusted friend on whose word alone they were accus- tomed to invest in oil royalties. But for the life of them they couldn't tell whether the writer wanted to borrow $5,000 from each of them, or only $5,000 from both. It made a big diflFerence to them at the time, and they had to wire for an explanation. The delay was just enough to make them too late to get the royalty. The facts — as they were finally developed — were that the 1-32 royalty was offered for $20,000, the man on the ground wanted to take half but only had $5,000 available, so he wanted his New York friends to take half for $10,000, and lend him $5,000 between them so that he could swing his half. Now let me show you what sizing up the work of that let- ter would have done for that man — or will do for any man. On the chart on page 42, I have sized up the work that his letter had to do. With such a size-up, could any sensible man have been as ambiguous as the oil man.? Wouldn't anyone, from that chart, have naturally dictated a letter about like the one at the top of page 43? You see even the ablest of men can sometimes fail to write an important letter so it carries its "load," if they don't take the pains to work out that "load" carefully in advance. And don't you see how our method of charting the "load" 41 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE What Action Oo I De^reT Does My Idea Appeal to His Reason, Caution or Business Sense? Or Does It Appeal to His Taste, Fancy, Convenience or Personal Side? To Make Him Believe, Do I Have To Change Somt Accepted Opinion or Disappoint Some Expectation? U the Reader Familiar with the Subject of l^y Idea, or In Sympathy with the Nature of My Feelins? Will the Reader 8e Indifferent or Opposed to Conslderlns li Ther^- h What Is the Reader Interested that ) May Gear Up My Proposition In order To Get His AttentionT WOi the One To Whom I Am Writing Feel a Self-interest When He Sees a Letter from Me? A ~SM^ ^ u m^m Panel 20 42 THE WORK YOUR LETTER MUST DO Dear George: There is a 1/32 royalty offered for sale on a piece of property right near the Dunkley farm. It already has five wells producing 670 barrels a day, with prospects for at least 20 producing wells by next year . Only two dry holes found so far. A sixth well is to be shot next week. S20,000 swings the deal and it looks so good to me that I would like to get in on half interest. Now can you and your partner take a half for $10,000 and then lend me |5,000 to help me swing the second half? — I haven't the whole $10,000 available right now but can raise $5,000. The deal must be closed quickly. Write or wire at once as I must give an answer by the 22nd. If you don't want to lend me $5,000 do you want to take three- quarters for yourselves? Hastily, helps to do such work by reminding one of every point to look for and settle on? Compare the chart and my letter carefully. In this simple letter but two points had to be kept in mind, the first — a statement of the proposition; the second, its effect on the reader. The first point was sug- gested by the first question on the chart, "What is the com- plete "load" my letter must carry.''" Then and there I wrote down that "load." Because "George" is a friend I ignored the question about self-interest and went on to the third step in the chart, and, across the panel which brought the point, wrote the feeling I wanted him to get. Easy, isn't it.? But before I turn you loose on some original problems I have prepared, let me explain another use of the chart. In the first chapter I spoke of granting Smith, a friend of ours, the loan which he requested. But suppose I haven't the money, or for any one of a number of very good reasons can't pos- sibly grant the favor. Then a real problem is before me. To show how valuable the chart becomes in such a case I have charted a refusal. Let's look it over. You'll find it on page 37. The complete "load" is that I trust Smith and ordinarily would consider it a privilege to lend him money on account of 43 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE What AcUon Do I Deslrs? Doss My Idea Appeal to His Reason, Caution or Business Sense? QrDoGS It Appeal to His Taste, Fancy, Convenience or Personal Side? To Make Him Belleve,.Do I Have To Change Some Accepted Opinion or Disappoint Some Expectation Is the Reader Familiar with the Subject of My Idea, or In Sympathy with the Nature of My Feeling? Will the Reader Be Indifferent or Opposed to Considering My Idea-or Will He Be Open-Minded? What Is the Feeling or the Big Ideal Want the Reader To Get? Thei>- 1n What Is the Reader Interesteil that 1 May Gear Up My Proposition In orderTo Get His Attention? Will the One To Whom I Am Writing Feel a Self-interest When He Sees a Letter from Me? What Is the Complete "Load* My Letter Must Carry? Panel 21 14 THE WORK YOUR LETTER MUST DO many favors I have received. Self-interest can, of course, be ignored in this case, but trust, as the chart suggests, can't be too carefully implied. The other questions on the chart also present points which must be taken into consideration if Smith's friendship is to be retained. Read the chart care- fully, and as you read, keep in mind all the little helps it brings out, so that a sincere, friendly letter to Smith almost writes itself. One more chart and then I'll let you try this plan for your- self. On page 34 is a letter from Factory's own files which was very successful in selling a business book. Compare the chart on page 35 and this letter. See how the chart helped to bring out every selling point made. You can trace each step in this clever, powerful letter just as easily as you traced the steps in the Smith refusal. Now then: As you have three charts before you running from the simple to the complex, you may now try your hand on analyzing the "load" of a letter by means of a chart. Take the simple case of lending Smith the $100 he asked for. Remember that your decision is that you trust Smith implic- itly and are glad to be able to lend him the money and are enclosing the check. Sketch out a complete chart like that on page 44, or write up a number with carbon paper on the typewriter, and on it make a size-up of the letter's work, from which you could write or dictate a letter that would cover every point you want covered and give Smith every impression you want him to get. You will find a correct size-up of such a letter on page 78. Compare it with your own in every detail, then, if you have made any mistakes, you can profit by them on the future practise work. Now let me explain how to keep your practise problems in such a way that I can later refer you to them as new points come up. Buy from any stationer 12 heavy manila folders which are chiefly used for filing letters. On the outside cover of the first folder write or print the words "Material File." On the 45 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE second folder write boldly the figure "1" and below the num- ber write plainly in smaller letters the title of the first chapter, "Sizing up the Work Your Letter Must Do." On the next folder write in the same way the figure "2" and the title of the second chapter, "Expressing Feeling or Ideas in Words." Continue by writing the numbers and titles of the remain- ing chapter on the other folders. You may abbreviate the titles if you care to. When you have finished, slip the 11 folders inside the first and make them into a serviceable book by passing a rub- ber band around the lot. Take the size-up chart just made, write on it "Size-up of Smith Letter," so you will recognize it easily again, and file it in the second folder — "Expressing Ideas" — ^as in the second problem section you will find the correct size-up of the prob- lem. Do the same with all other practise problems, which you come to in this problem section. This will make it easy to refer to them in working out other problems. But that is only one part of the use to be made of the file. The titles of the 11 folders are also the 11 elements of work that enter into letters and doing business with letters. So, in the folders, you should file all the good letters or advertise- ments you run across, and all the information, hints, and sug- gestions you get for applying each of those elements. Thus the little file will become the start of the most scien- tific kind of Data File or Material File, or Work File— what- ever you want to call it — that you can have. Of course, the little file that you have made will soon be out- grown, but you can expand it on the same principle, or im- prove on it for your own purposes, as you see fit. Any stationer can supply you with equipment for making your file just as big and as useful as you may need. Now you are ready to do your first constructive work. On pages which follow, you will find four typical letter problems. Size up the "load' the letters will have to carry. Don't try to write the letters. Details are reserved for future problem sections. 46 THE WORK YOUR LETTER MUST DO Problem 1 Assume that you have a men's shoe store and at the open- ing of the spring season you wish to circularize a hst of men in your city, telling them that your new spring stock has ar- rived and is complete in every line, and that you want them to come to your store for their spring shoes. We will assume that this list comprises names of men who have never traded with you, and who are unknown to you. On a blank chart like that on page 44 (write up a few with carbon paper on a typewriter, or have this done for you) make a complete size-up of the work such a letter must do. Write at the bottom of it: "Size-up of Men's Shoe Store Let- ter." File it and in the next chapter I shall not only give you a correct size-up, but I shall also show a letter actually used for such a purpose by a big city store. Then we shall take up this very letter, and from what we shall have learned about expressing an idea in words, we shall rewrite it, as far as its big idea is concerned, as it should have been written in the first place — and we are going to see why. Problem 2 Next assume that you are selling land — Louisiana corn land, we shall say. Suppose that you have been advertising in northern farm papers, and want to write an answer to the inquiries received, so as to get prospects interested in the opportunity for bigger, better crops offered by your new land, the greater prosperity in view, the ideal climate, and so forth. Using a blank chart which you have prepared, make a size- up for such a letter, paying particular attention to what idea to convey. Be sure to write at the bottom of the sheet: "Size-up of Louisiana Corn Land Letter." Always identify your size-ups in this way so that you can recognize them quickly when you want them. File the chart just completed in your Material File. In the next chapter I shall show you such a letter as it was successfully used, so that you can see how your size-up works out in actual cases. We shall also see how to develop and write the idea for it. 47 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE Problem 3 Again, for example, assume yourself to be a tire manufac- turer. Assume that a user of your tire, through careless treatment, has rim-cut his tire and then sent it back to you with a nasty letter. Suppose you want to show him his error, yet hold his good will by making a partial adjustment, such as giving him a new tire for part cash. Size up the work such a letter must do on one of the charts you have prepared. Of course, in this letter, as in the others, there are many details you would have to know before yon could really write the letter. But for practise in using the chart, we only expect you to cover the idea. The job now is to get accustomed to analyzing in a logical way. File the chart just completed in your Material File, writing as usual "Size-up of the Manufacturer's Letter," and in the next chap- ter you will not only see an actual letter used for such a pur- pose with which to check up, but you will also be shown how it was constructed. Problem 4 This time let us say you are a fire insurance agent and on your books are several people who have failed to pay the premiums due on their policies. You have written them several times without result. You still believe they are in- tending to pay but are putting it oflf, so now you want to wake them up. Size up on one of the prepared charts the work of such a letter. File your completed chart, for in the third part we shall have just such a letter to analyze and study, and don't forget to write at the bottom of the sheet: "Size-up of Fire Insurance Agent's Letter." You are not going to find it the easiest task in the world to make either this size-up or the others on preceding pages. But the more you do it the easier it will become. I have purposely been rather vague in giving you the facts from which to make your charts, as I don't want you to bother too much yet over details. You will get them later. 48 THE WORK YOUR LETTER MUST DO ■ And now again, as we conclude this problem section, let me caution you against taking too lightly the matter of analyz- ing, or "sizing up" the work a letter has to do. More poor letters are caused by not analyzing the work properly than by any other one cause. More wrong letters are caused by it — letters that are too long, or too short, or too impatient, or too good natured, or letters that oflFend, or give false impressions, or mishandle the subject, or letters that simply take up space without getting anywhere. That one point of forcing yourself to fix on one big idea or central feeling around which to shape your letter, will do more to improve the quality of your letters, especially dictated let- ters, than any other one point I know of — it helps you to "concentrate your fire," instead of drifting about in a sea of words. And after you have acquired the habit — for it will come to be a habit in time — of sizing up letters carefully and fixing on a definite idea for each one, you will find it easy to apply the same principle to other letters or advertisements yo.u write — and to your speech, as well. The best advertisements, as well as the best letters, are those based on one big idea, and the best complete campaigns of either advertising or selling are often those based on one big idea. In the next part we take up the matter of ideas more spe- cifically —how to choose the idea to convey, and then how to express it in words as clearly as an artist could paint it. So make yourself as famihar as possible with the use of the size- up chart, because you will need it. PART II EXPRESSING FEELING OR IDEAS IN WORDS CHAPTER II EXPRESSING FEELING OR IDEAS IN WORDS IN the first chapter of this book on apphed business cor- respondence, we turned all our attention to the impor- tance of sizing up the "load" of a letter before starting to write or dictate. We found that there are 10 important points to keep in mind and that the chart which we worked out provided a sure guarantee that we would not overlook any of these points in future letters. So we are now agreed, it is probably safe to say, that ana- lyzing a letter according to the points shown in the chart on page 32 — beginning at the bottom and working right up to the top — is the surest way there is of getting a complete understanding of every essential a letter must perform. When you have charted the essentials on the chart, you virtually have a blueprint of your letter as it ought to be written. In handling that difficult Factory letter, illustrated on page 34, the value of the chart was apparent at once. On the other hand, its assistance in writing even the simplest letters can hardly be overemphasized. For instance, in writing Smith your decision to lend him the hundred dollars he asked for, you can see from Panel 40 on page 78 how absolutely ac- curate this method is. The chart, as you have discovered, shows at once the simplicity of the letter required, and it also shows at once just what feature in it demands care. This prolonged discussion of such an elementary letter as the reply to Smith may seem uncalled for, but if you will recall how you began the study of arithmetic, you will re- member how much time and how much blackboard space the teacher used to demonstrate that "one plus one makes two." Simple and tiresome, indeed, but how important you found it! 53 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE ADDRESSOGRAPH COMPANY "Prints from Type" CHICAGO, ILLINOIS Mr. C. S. Childs, St. Joseph, Mo. Dear Sir: Take a handful of address plates — 20 or 30 — slip them into the magazine — place the envelope, post- card, statement, or whatever you wish to address, at the printing position and "typewrite" names and addresses — at a speed of 30 per minute. This is the way the Hand Addressograph will address your list. With it you can do in a few minutes' work that which you now spend tedious hours doing by hand. It is so simple in operation that your list can be handled by any boy or girl without the possibility of mistakes or omissions. This hand model costs very little — yet it is a COMPLETE Addressograph. It prints from standard card index metal address plates embossed with permanent typewriter style type. You can depend on it to stand the hardest usage — to print accurately and NEATLY. Possibly you have certain questions which you would like to ask regarding the Addressograph. We are anxious to take up these points in detail with you — will you write us about them? If you have decided upon a particular model simply note your selection on the enclosed card and send it in to us. Or, if you will write us more in detail about your requirements, we will gladly recommend the exact equipment which will save you most. The return envelope enclosed is yours to use. Very truly yours, ADDRESSOGRAPH COMPANY EXPRESSING FEELING IN WORDS This letter to Smith is the "one plus one makes two" of the whole art, or science, of good letter writing — of good writ- ing of all kinds, and of good speaking and good talking, too. If you can write a good letter to Smith, you can write a good letter on almost any subject. For that reason you'll find the Smith letter referred to again and again. Now one of the first questions we considered in sizing up the reply to Smith, and one of the first questions to be con- sidered in writing any letter, is: "What is the Feeling or Big Idea I want the reader to get?" That point is so important, and yet so often overlooked, that I have made it the subject of this second chapter; for the ability to express yourself in a letter, or an advertisement, or an after-dinner speech, or in an informal conversation, in such a way that other people see what you describe, or feel what you depict, is often the back- bone of personal strength and character and efficiency. Before I show you how to cover this important point, how- ever, I want you to read the four letters I have illustrated in Panels 22, 23, 24, and 25. First read the letter of an addressing machine manufacturer reproduced on page 54. As you read the first and second paragraphs can you not see, almost as if the machine were working in front of you, the points which the writer is trying to convey to you — the sim- plicity with which the machine is operated, the efficiency with which it works? Then read the letter from a motor manufacturer on page 56. Do you get any very definite idea about the motor described? No, nothing but dry information. Just to get a real strangle hold on this point read the letters on pages 57 and 58. They are the "Answers to Inquiries" of two corset manufacturers. Compare them for yourself to see how from the letter on page 57 you get the feeling of comfort, good health, and smart style; while from the other you get nothing but statements. Don't you know some men whose conversation is like the letters on pages 56 and 58 — ^merely a recitation of statements — and other men whose talks to you make you see or feel or virtually live things they say — ^not merely hear them? 55 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE INTERNATIONAL MOTORS CO. FACTORY AND OFFICES KINZIE, NEB. Mr. R. L. Chadwiok, St. Louis, Mo. Dear Sir: As requested in your letter of the 12th inst., we take pleasure in sending you, under separate cover, a copy of our latest catalog, and here attach a price list of our different models. As you will notice, the Oceanic is built in three sizes, of 2 HP, 3% HP and 4 HP. The 2 HP and 3}^ HP motors are of the 1-cylinder, 2-cycle type, whereas the 4 HP motor, our 1916 addition, is of the 2- cylinder, 4-oycle type. The 2 HP motor we usually recommend for ordinary rowboats up to 18-20 ft. in length, whereas the ZYz HP size was especially designed for boats for heavy commercial uses. Both motors develop a speed of about 7 miles an hour. For those customers who desire more speed than either of the above motors can develop, we are just bringing out the 2-cylinder motor of 4 HP. This motor, having been constructed especially for speed, is more particularly intended for competition with the 2 HP motor, rather than the 3% HP one — that is, we expect it to be used on about the same size boat as you would ordinarily use the 2 HP size for. All our motors are built for use in salt water — very economical in the use of gasoline, simple in construction, thoroughly tested before shipment, and fully guaranteed. Holding ourselves at your disposal for any addi- tional information that you may desire, and asking that you kindly state in your order for which market the motor is intended, we remain. Yours very truly, INTERNATIONAL MOTORS CO. Panel 23 56 EXPRESSING PEELING IN WORDS EDWARDS 85 COMPANY REGINA CORSETS DETROIT, MICHIGAN Mrs. H. A. Murray, Madison, Wisconsin. Dear Madam: Thank you for your inquiry just received in regard to Regina Corsets. You need not wear an unoomfortalDle corset to "be fashionable. Style, comfort, and good health are all combined in the Regina Corset. No corset or corset waist could be safer for the growing girl, more reassuring for the mature woman, or more perfect as a foundation for fashionable gowning. In our new catalog you will find among the many attractive models the one which suits you best. Ask your dealer if he has that number in stock or will get it for you. If he cannot supply you, order direct from us. When you ask for a Regina Corset be sure you are shown the genuine, bearing the label Edwards & Co. There are a number of inferior imitations which are frequently sold as Regina Corsets because this is to the dealer's advan- tage. The genuine has better material and workmanship and will fit better and wear longer. Edwards & Co. are the originators and sole manufacturers of Regina Corsets. We pay postage on all orders in the U. S. Every garment is fully guaranteed. Trusting we may have the favor of your order, we remain, Very truly yours, EDWARDS & COMPANY Panel 24 .57 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE What fundamental principle lies back of this difference? If we have a machine or a corset or a shoe or a service to sell, or if we have an experience to relate or an anecdote to tell or a yarn to spin, how can we speak of it or write of it so as to make the other man see the Big Idea or sense the Feeling we want to convey — rather than to make him merely read our words or listen to our voice? Let us begin at the bottom and work up to our answer. Suppose we were on a sightseeing trip and were writing to a friend at home our impressions of the things we saw. Sup- pose that on a fine, clear, autumn day we came to a prosperous looking farm with everything about it conveying the idea of the plenty and prosperity of the land, and the comfort and peace and good living it provided the owner; and suppose that we desired to give our friend at home that same idea or feeling about it. Let us see how we could go about it. Let us see how, with- out any great writing ability or any highly developed imagi- native powers, we could make that distant friend see and feel BEEHIVE DEPARTMENT STORE DETROIT, MICHIGAN Mrs. F. 0. Reed, Champaign, 111. Dear Madam: Replying to your favor of recent date, we are pleased to send you, under separate cover, copy of our catalog showing the new styles for spring. Should you make a selection we will be glad to furnish a corset to you through your local dealer, or, if there is any objection to this, we will send it to you direct on receipt of the retail price. Thanking you for your letter and trusting you may find something to suit your needs, we remain. Very truly yours, BEEHIVE DEPARTMENT STORE Panel 25 58 EXPEESSING FEELING IN WORDS the atmosphere of plenty and comfort and peace and good living that we saw and felt as we looked at that prosperous farm scene. Any of us can tell what it was that we felt — ^that is a natural part of feeling it. Therefore, in big type in the panel below, I have set down a statement of the feeling or the idea that we are to convey. THE IDEA Prosperity; plenty; comfortable, hearty living Panel 25 That much, at least, is easy. Now, if our friend were riding with us at the time, to make him see and feel the prosperity of the land and the com- fortable living of the owner, we probably would have pointed out the evidences of prosperity and good living; that is, the sights that made us think of prosperity and good living. If you recall similar experiences, you see how naturally you would have said: "Just look at those apples — " if the abundance of apples had caught your eye first and had made you think of a big store of fruit in the cellar for the winter. Probably you would have added, "The trees are still full of them; and see all those in barrels and boxes; and those in piles, probably for cider." And then, as your eye wandered over the broad acres, you would naturally enough have ex- claimed about the corn, and about the pumpkins between the rows of corn. Any of us on such an occasion could run our eyes over a scene like that and point out the big, interesting features: apples, corn, pumpkins, buckwheat, for example. In the panel on the next page, I have set down those four features — which we may say are the things that would stir up in our minds the idea or the feeling of prosperity and com- fortable living that we want to convey. 59 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE Do you follow? In the first two panels I have simply- listed the natural trend of thoughts that arise when one looks at an autumn farm scene. Could anyone look at such a scene and not be able, later, to set down at least four out- standing "features" of it? That is all I have done in the panel below. But now we are getting ready to write; and we remember that our object in writing is not merely to state that we saw apples, corn, pumpkins, buckwheat, hut to make our friend see and feel THE "FEATURES" Apples Corn Pumpkins Buckwheat Panel 27 the visions of prosperity and plenty and comfortable, hearty living that the apples, corn, pumpkins, and buckwheat made us see and feel. That is why I put "The Idea" on page 59 in such big type — so that we cannot get away from it and so that when we write about "apples," we shall remember to put something in the description that will make those apples and the corn, pumpkins, and buckwheat look plentiful to our friend and make him think of storing up such riches and of enjoying them. It is the third step in our letter. It shows the connection of each "feature" with the idea to be conveyed — ^the idea of plenty. How perfectly natural now to add to each "feature" a few words indicating its plentifulness. Is there anyone who can't do that much? No great command of language, no drawing on imagination, is required to do that, and yet we have begun to make the reader sense the abundance and plenty of the farm which we have set out to describe. That, you will notice, is what I have done in the panel at the top of page 62. 60 EXPRESSING FEELING IN WORDS But we must remember the second part of the idea we are to convey — ^the good living that these crops provide. We must call up thoughts of enjoying the apples, corn, pumpkins, and buckwheat. Is it difficult in describing these four things to include the thought of eating them, and also of taking others to market to exchange for luxuries? Well, hardly! And see in Panel 29 how simply, with the start already made, we can bring in the atmosphere of eating and enjoying — ^by just the sugges- tion of "stores of apples" instead of mere "apples"; by the reference to "cider"; by the mention of "golden ears" of corn and "cakes and puddings"; by the hint of "honey and slapjacks." What have we accomplished? Bit by bit we have built up from the bare list of "features" in a farm scene — apples, corn, pumpkins, buckwheat — a simple, plain description that not a man among us could not vrrite — perhaps not using the exact words used, but using words as good. Yet it makes the plenty and prosperity of the land, and the comfort, peace, and good living of its owner, as plain as day. And now I shall tell you a secret — on page 63 you will see this exact description — elaborated a bit, dressed up a bit, polished a bit — made into one of the acknowledged masterpieces of English literature. It is Washington Irving's description of the Van Tassel farm, in his famous "Legend of Sleepy Hollow." Probably none of us could evolve this little gem in the expression of an Idea and the conveyance of a Feeling quite as the great Irving did it. But every one of us can be at least as graphic as Panel 29 if we lay out our ideas as carefully, and list our "features" as naturally, and then link the description of each "feature" with the Idea as I have indicated in the preceding pages. In other words, we do not need to be a genius like Irving to be a vivid letter writer or a brilliant talker, if we but cultivate the knack of visualizing the Idea or Feeling; and then 61 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE Idea of Plenty APPLES on all sides; some on the trees, some in baskets and barrels, others in piles ^ . ^ CORN great fields of it \ ^ ^ PUMPKINS lying beneath each row of corn \ ^ BUCKWHEAT fields of it X. idea of "Plenty' and GOOD LIVING ^ ^ ~- ~ On all sides VAST STORES OF apples; some hanging on the trees; some gathered into basltets and barrels FOR THE MARKET; others HEAPED IN RICH piles-FOR THE CIDER PRESS t ...... / / Great fields of corn WITH ITS GOLDEN / EARS HOLDING OUT THE PROMISE OF / CAKES AND PUDDINGS \ \ YELLOW pumpkins lying beneath, GIVING \ \ PROSPECTS OF LUXURIOUS PIES \ V ^ FRAGRANT fields of buckwheat BREATHING \ THE ODOR OF THE BEEHIVE AND ANTICIPA- \ TIONS OF DAINTY SLAPJACKS Panel 28 (upper) and Panel 29 (lower) BUILDING THE LETTER By beginning with four simple "features," such as apples, corn, pumpkins and buckwheat — as in Panel 27 — and steadily filling in with new thoughts as they arise, a. letter practically writes itself. Panel 28 (top) shows how the thoughts which call up the idea of plenty are attached to the original "features." In Panel 29, by filling in Panel 28, we approach the finished product, which is repro- duced on the next page. EXPRESSING FEELING IN WORDS ON ALL sides he beheld vast stores of apples; some hanging in oppres- sive opulence on the trees; some gath- ered into baskets and barrels for the market; others heaped up in rich piles for the cider-press. Farther on he be- held great fields of Indian corn, with its golden ears peeping from their leafy coverts, and holding out the promise of cakes and hasty-pudding; and the yel- low pumpkins lying beneath them, turning up their fair, round bellies to the sun, and giving ample prospects of the most luxurious of pies; and anon he passed the fragrant buckwheat fields, breathing the odor of the beehive, and, as he beheld them, soft anticipations stole over his mind of dainty slapjacks, well buttered, and garnished with honey or treacle, by the delicate little dimpled hand of Katrina Van Tassel. —WASHINGTON IRVING Panel 30 63 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE pick a few leading "features" of the scene or article, and simply describe them from the basis of the Idea or Feeling rather than haphazardly. Now let me show you how the point I have made may be applied to a 'plain, everyday business proposition. Suppose, instead of the imaginary Van Tassel farm of Irving's story, we have some farm land that we want to sell. Suppose, for example, it is Louisiana corn land and that we want to convey the idea to northern farmers of wonderful farming opportunities, such as big crops, ready markets, high prices, and fine climate, which await the farmer who moves to Louisiana. First, let us visualize that idea as we did in tracing the Washington Irving description. Let us put it into the single, dominating thought which we want to pervade our letter — as in the panel below. THE IDEA Opportunity; wealth; good living Panel 31 Now, just as we did before, let us determine on the "features" that make our land offer the wealth and good living we claim for it. We will suppose we know that the corn grown on the land can scarcely be exceeded in quality. The river and railroads and ocean ports offer easy access to the markets of the world, and for that reason prices will probably always be good. In addition, the fertility of the soil in the Mississippi Valley makes it one of the greatest agricultural districts in the world. The climate is also a deciding factor. These "features" I have listed in the panel on the next page. The only difference so far between our "features" and those of the Irving description is that his were concrete objects, such as corn and apples, while ours are the abstract 64 EXPRESSING FEELING IN WORDS qualities or properties of our land. This latter situation is true of most business propositions. The "features" are seldom visible, actual objects. For instance, the "features" of an automobile may be the ease with which one rides, the low gasoline consumption per mile, and so on. The "features" of clothing, as another example, may be style, comfort, and durability. But you understand — and therefore we shall continue with the land letter. Let us apply the main idea given below THE " FEATURES" Quality of Corn Access to Marltet Prices Fertility of Soil Climate Panel 32 to each of the "features" we have listed. In other words, let us take "quality of corn" and so describe it that it arouses thoughts of "opportunity, wealth, and good living." Let us do the same with "access to markets," and so on through the list. By combining Idea and "features" in the most ordinary way we get the result shown in Panel 33 on the next page. We are not writing literature, mind you, and yet step for step we are following the processes used by Washing- ton Irving in building up that famous description of the Van Tassel farm. Now by ordinary filling in of Panel 33, you could convey the idea of this land's wealth and good living so clearly that any farmer could see it and feel it. Have you any doubt about it? If you have, take a look at the panel on page 67 and see that it has been done! There you will find an actual and successful letter written to sell this very land. That letter attracted scores of northern farmers into lower Louisiana. Look it over carefully. There's noth- 65 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE ing "Irvingesque" about it, to be sure. But the principle is there. Skipping the first two paragraphs, not of interest to you until you study the ways of "Gripping Attention" and "Holding Interest," you see that we have been simply re- constructing the third and fourth paragraphs, just as we did in the case of Irving's classic description. And you see that, in this case — the expression of an idea for practical business pur- poses — ^the same process applies. In other words, what Irving's art did in "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow," what this land Best corn in the United States. / / / / Crops can be loaded direct on / ' ocean-going boats. / ^ Average price is 25 cents more / / / ^^ tlian in Iowa. Idea of Opportunity, Wealth, and Good Living. /^ _- — — lalns wby they HOST win. And It explains the simple ULWS goreraiAg personal achievement irtiiab you oaa easily liaster. Tou can use this book to build up a sucoessful plan for each day's work. It will guide you in arranging business deals and managing big enter- prises. You will be able to develop busineas ability and strengthen your capacfty for oBBagatdOnt. At all tines you will have eddeert Direction" and detailed information regarding the preferred stoolc at tliat time being offered by us. That security was typical of the ooneervctive oharaoter of the 7% Cumulative Preferred Stocks which we have been selling for more than 11 years. We are not doing a general brokerage buainesB but oonfLne ourselves to the aeQurities of a few well seleotod institutions which manufacture staple lines, and vSiioh have demonstrated their ability to pay regular incomes to their stockholders. A number of the requirements which we exact from these institutions for the protection of our clients are unique in the investment world. For example, - we always insist upon an actual investment of at least $200 for eaoh $100 share of preferred stock issued. Seoond, we insist that the oompany create a surplus sufficient to pay the dlvl- ends upon the preferred stook for at least two years in ad- vance, - as a reserve for the payment of dividends during years of panio and depression. Third, we always insist that our oompaniea shall not have an indebtedness to exceed 20^ of their total assets at the end of any fiscal year. This ie an insuranoe against any disturbance of the!", financial condition during panics or depressions. Purtharmore, we insist that our institutions manu- facture only staple lines of ooranon demand, insuring not only present prosperity but a future field. They must use modem methods of accounting to keep in oonatcmt touch with the developments of their different departments. This enables them to oorreot immediately any mistakes or weak- nesses that may develop, in place of allowing them to grow during the entire year and afterwards to become a aource of permanent weaknees. We have demonetrated that o. careful following of these methods Insures permanent inoomea to investors in this olass of securitieB. Moreover, it has enabled us easily to re-market aecurlties for our olients who find it necessary to realize and, beat of all, althou^ we have placed many millions of dollars worth of securitieB on the martcet, no client of ours has ever lost a dollar of prinoipal or in- oome on funds invested in our preferred stock. We will be pleased to have you moke a, personal in- veetigation as to our methods of doing business and our re- putation for fair dealing. Very truly youra, THE GEIGER-J0NB3 OOMPAmf. Panel 72 131 OVERCOMING INDIFFERENCE OR OPPOSITION Now, how does it happen that all of these successful letters follow the same principle of construction so closely? This principle has never been charted out before. It has been known to a few writers and has been used by them, but it has not been generally known. The answer is that writers and public speakers who are constantly meeting various problems such as testing different letters, and watching the effect of words on an audience, sooner or later arrive at certain definite facts regarding ways to convey an idea. In time they learn that one particular style pays here, another there. Ten men in ten different busi- nesses, each with an equal amount of experience will, almost invariably, either consciously or unconsciously, arrive at the same fundamental principles. Superficially, their styles may seem to be radically different, but substantially, their methods of writing or speaking will be the same. And it is by watching the development of not ten but hundreds of such experiences and tracing them back to the great authorities of literature, oratory, and business, that the definite principles of this course have been worked out. There are exceptions to them, of course. But often these exceptions are more fancied than real. For instance, there has been many a successful letter written to people whose attitude had been shown to be opposed or indifferent to the Big Idea, without the use of an absolutely visionary or negative idea to carry it home. But in all such cases that have come under my observation, a visionary-negative idea has been unconsciously created by the very way in which the positive idea was explained. On page 134 is a typical letter of this kind. It is a follow-up letter of a financial concern to prospects who have failed to reply. This letter does not in itself deliberately call up a nega- tive idea; but read it carefully and see if the very way in which it states, "what we exact for the protection of our clients" doesn't set you unconsciously to thinking about what might happen to your money if you made an investment not protected by such exactions. 135 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE HOME LAUNDRY COMPANY Springfield, lllinoit Mrs. Howard licKay Springfield Illinois Dear Uadam: Figure It out for yourself If the washerwoman comes once a week -- your home Is hers for 52 days » year -- — almost TWO MONTHS of every year Wasted -- spoiled. The next time ^ou find yourself surrounded by th€f usual wush-day mess -- and the tranquillity of your house- Hold upaet by the independence of the typical 1915 washer- woman -- V RESOLVE TO HAVE A CHANGE. If you haven't yet -.found the GENUINE solution for this annoying problem, there''s a pleasant surprise In store. Don ' t give it up' Simply join the constantly increasing niunber of particular housewives who are taking advantage of our pains- taking fajDily service. Trust your priceless linens -- and your other wash- ing -- to lifelong experts in fine laundering work -- -- to an organization which has a service ideal to live up to — and a reputation to maintain. If you want to find out how reasonably you can eliminate those weekly^blue days -- -- those days of steamy rooms and racked nerves -- Draw a chair up to Vie telephone and call Main 444 this minute -- NOW. Let's talk it over while you have it on your mind. Very truly yours, HOME LAUNDRY COMPANY Panel 73 Onci I witk your homi If you ^■v8^'t found tha EBflulns solution thtre's a feasant iiirprlsa bi stora. Don't kIvs tt up! Panel 74 136 OVERCOMING INDIFFERENCE OR OPPOSITION A good many writers adopt that method because of the prejudice against using the negative form. Yet if the nega- tive thought aroused is what gets the effect, what is the use of beating around the bush? Certain it is that the man of only average writing ability runs the risk of missing the effect desired when he attempts a roundabout style. And until you become expert at getting word effects it will be best to use only the simple constructions illustrated by Panel 70 on page 132. That is the method of construction found good enough by such successful campaigners as IngersoU, Roosevelt, Bryan, and Billy Sunday. You will find that in their speeches before audiences inclined to be hostile or indifferent, or in offering ideas opposed to generally accepted notions, they all built their arguments on one plan, and that is the plan which has been charted for you. You will also find that Charles Dickens followed the same plan in his books which attack some solidly intrenched social or political system. And in the practical, business-getting, or debt-collecting letters of the best letter writers you will find the same plan used. The laundryman's letter on page 136 will clinch the point. That letter was sent as a follow-up to his straight selling let- ters. See in Panel 74, also on page 136, how its construction, too, follows the same simple plan which has been outlined. "What do you think of the "theory" now? Doesn't it explain the puUing power of many letters whose results you knew but couldn't understand? The letters on pages 138, 139, 140 and 142 will dismiss all remaining doubts. They were picked from the hundreds of good letters on which this book on appUed business cor- respondence is based. Can't you now get a better idea of why and how they were so constructed and why they were successful? Take the egg dealer's letter on the next page. See the simplicity of it, the bringing out of disadvantages in not buying his eggs; the connecting link, "this is a pretty 137 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE good egg"; the plain, positive picture of the advantages of his proposition. That letter was built to introduce his proposition to people who were totally unfamiliar with it and hence assumed to be averse to changing their method or their dealer. From a social list of 800 names, usually a difficult list to get results from, it produced 48 orders and 20 permanent standing-order customers. Study the other three letters (Panels 76, 77 and 78) in the light of our new viewpoint. In the sales manager's letter, see BROADACRES STEVENSVILLE, OHIO R. F. D. No. 1 Mr. F. C. King, Columbus, Ohio. Dear Mr. King: "AN EGG VERSUS A PRETTY GOOD EGG." The eggs you buy as strictly fresh, coming by the usual channels of distribution, pass through the following hands from producer to consumer : 1. Collected by local dealers or the country store. 2. Shipped to commission houses at the big markets. 3. Sold to wholesalers and jobbers. 4. Sold to retailers. 5. Hold in retailer's store until delivered to customers. The time consumed is from two to three weeks for the first quality of fresh eggs. THIS IS A PRETTY GOOD EGG. My eggs I collect twice a week from the farmers in my neighborhood — bring them to my farm, sort and pack them into cartons of one dozen each, and deliver them by auto the next day at your door, almost before the hen ceases to advertise her latest achievement. THIS IS AN EGG. TRY THEM AND SEE THE DIFFERENCE. Yours truly, R. T. STEVENS Panel 75 1.S3 OVERCOMING INDIFFERENCE OR OPPOSITION GORDON 85 WILSON The "Better" Line ST. PAUL, MINN. Mr. A. T. Lanning, Ragnor, Michigan. Dear Lanning: Your report from Kansas City in one hand and a hammer in the other — that's a true picture of me right this moment . "Everybody here buying close" — when I read that I raised an eyebrow. "Crop prospects bad" — when I read that I raised a fist. But when I came to your "Think I was lucky to get even this much business" — I raised something worse than either eyebrow or fist. Nope, Lanning — you can't get any sympathy out of me on stuff like that; I got reports just like yours from every one of the other men, and I have just finished wiping off tears, of sympathy for each one of them — except you and Burt. But any man who could drop into B.P.'s office after we had made that terrible bull of drawing a sight draft on them, and then drop out with old Pearson's re-order in his pocket — any man who can do the hundred other things you have done, and Burt has done, can't offer me talk about poor crop prospects and get away with any sympathy from me. My sympathy glands freeze up when I get reports like this last one from YOU. You'd let poor crop prospects and generally tight buying stop you from getting big orders about as much as a good, well- brought-up mosquito would let a fly-screen stop him. You've been listening to some alibi-artist and got the microbe; that's the trouble WITH YOU. Forget it, and remember that Bestever Rompers and Blouses are as good a hard-times line as they are a prosperity line. And that Lanning is an all-kinds-of-times salesman. Spare me the "poor-crop-talk" — I'm deaf on YOUR side. Yours for a better alibi next time. L. R. T. Panel 76 139 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE ANGIER PAPER COMPANY GRAND RAPIDS, WIS. Henry Johnson, Keokuk, Iowa. Dear Sir: It was a local between Philadelphia and Trenton. I sat in a smoker, which was half baggage car. At Frankford, an automobile tire was thrown on — a yard or two of its plain Kraft wrapper flapping in the breeze. With my pocket camera I took a picture of it — see inclosed. And I said to the baggage man: "Does this happen often?" "Nearly every day," he replied. "We carry tires with wrappers loose, torn — and rubber exposed." So I wondered: "Does it pay a manufacturer to spend millions in building reputation, and then — to save a cent or two per tire — send his product broadcast over the land — imperfectly protected against light, dirt and exposure?" Plain Kraft paper — even of a 50-pound basis — won't stand the strain of shipping. But 30-pound Kraft — reinforced with yarn and water-proofed — will do the trick to perfection. Test the strength of the sample enclosed. Wrap it tightly around your wrist. Note the firm, strong, neat job it makes. And six ounces will wrap a tire — right. Tell us, please, the^ size rolls you use — diameter, width and core. We'll then send you enough — without expense or obligation — enough for a thorough trial. Give Angler's Tirewrap the opportunity to prove its worth to you — as it has already done to Goodrich, Michelin, McGraw and others. The post card is for your convenience. Sincerely yours, ANGIER PAPER COMPANY Panel 77 140 OVERCOMING INDIFFERENCE OR OPPOSITION how the writer took the character and attitude of his man, Lanning, into consideration — ^knowing, evidently from pre- vious experience, that this particular salesman would not take kindly to direct reproof, or criticism, or ordinary "ginger talk," See how, with the bantering negative idea, linked up by "my sympathy glands freeze up when — ," and so forth, he led the salesman gracefully up to the positive idea. And in the wrapping paper sales letter (page 140), can't you follow the construction on the same lines? Of course you can. It's so simple that perhaps you wonder that you didn't get the point before. And then let us run over the collection letter I showed you in the second chapter and which I have reproduced again on page 142, You will recall that you worked out its Big Idea in the second chapter. Unless you have made a very deep study of collection letters, you were probably baffled when you came to trying to chart out the Big Idea and its "features." That is due to the fact that the attitude of the reader plays a very big part in its construction, and the use of the imaginary or negative idea is handled in an extraordinarily subtle way. The letter was used on a list of purchasers of a very high- grade article which had been sold by circularizing a high- grade list of names. Before credit was extended, the pur- chasers were carefully investigated. Therefore, the debtors were known to be persons of means. But, having failed to; pay up after several statements and letters, their attitude plainly was coldly indiflferent to the importance of so small a bill. Therefore, while the Big Idea of the letter was to make them realize that the bill, though small, deserved immediate attention, it was led up to by the visionary idea of their being classed, if the bill was not met, as too poor to pay $6 at one time. Panel 79 on page 143, illustrates the construction of the letter. You can see that it is simple when the full attitude of the reader is considered; although, as we looked at it first, it seemed indirect. 141 BUSINESS COERESPONDENCE MOORE PUBLISHING COMPANY CIRCULATION DEPARTMENT BOSTON, MASS. Mrs. A. M. Brown, Windsor, 111. Dear Madam: We regret we have not heard from you with a remittance in response to our bill fpr our magazine Home Economics, sent you in March, but we presume that for some reason it was not convenient for you to remit the eimount at that time. We can no longer carry this as an open account, and are again enclosing you a bill for the amount now due. We have, however, arranged a very easy plan of payment, whereby you can, without inconvenience, pay the entire amount on the instalment plan. Your bill now eimounts to $6.00, and we will consent to accept $2.00 every other month (only $1.00 monthly) until the whole amount is paid. We have made three notes, due sixty days apart, and enclose them herewith for your signature. Please sign and return them with the bill, using the enclosed envelope. We will receipt and return the bill and will forward the notes, as they come due, for collection. Or, if you prefer, you may send us three checks for $2.00 each, dated ahead and payable sixty days apart, and we will deposit them on the dates they mature. We do not know whether you need or care to be thus accommodated. You may find it convenient now to send a check or a money-order at once. We trust, however, you will appreciate this easy method that we offer for paying your account, and that you will send remittance either by note or by cash at once. Very truly yours, MOORE PUBLISHING COMPANY Panel 78 142 OVERCOMING INDIFFERENCE OR OPPOSITION And this chart brings up another point important to con- sider and that is the brevity with which the positive idea may be conveyed after the negative idea has paved the way for it. You will observe brevity in the collection letter, in the posi- tive part of Ingersoll's speech, and in many of the letters quoted. The proper creation of the negative idea in a reader's mind often makes him so ready and open to reconsideration of the You may pay m$2 instalments Slsn 3 notes for 12 eacti Will fae sent far collection Of send us three advance checks/ Being classed as too poor to pay S6 at one time We do not know whether you neeil or care to be thus ac- commodated The bill should be paid at once ^\Orj Sendchekk Panel 79 positive idea that only a sentence or two is necessary to convince him. A good example of this is the clothing merchant's letter shown in Panel 80 on the next page. This letter was the sixth in a follow-up series of seven letters used only on a picked list of business men. The previous five letters had covered the proposition from all angles. In this sixth letter, therefore, the businesslike vision of a strictly business situa- tion was created, and after that the connecting link, "I am a clothing expert." Thus, a few terse sentences conveyed the whole positive idea. Now, here is an interesting point which some of you may have guessed as you followed my explanation of a method of overcoming opposition. What we have learned in this chapter is really the basis of all follow-up campaigns — sales follow-ups as well as collection follow-ups. I'll prove it by going over a typical letter series with you. In the first letter of a sales series you assume, or should assume, that the person to whom you are writing is open- minded; that is, neither for nor against the Idea. So the first letter should be a simple conveying of ^he Big Idea or Feeling — ^like the letter shown on page 145, 113 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE In preparing the second letter, the natural hesitation that people feel about saying yes or no to a proposition should be recognized, so a second letter should be only a more de- tailed, or more forceful repetition of the positive idea. The letter shown on page 146 illustrates the point. For the third letter, conditions vary according to the proposition offered. If a proposition is a simple one, for a specific purpose or for a self-evident use — like a health appliance, a corset, a brand of underwear, or other clothing — something the purchase or use of which involves not more than one or two conditions — after a prospect has had two letters and has not responded, it may be assumed that he is indifferent or opposed. And in such case the third letter should approach him on the visionary or negative side. The method is illustrated by the health appliance letter on page 126. McCANN, The Tailor Peoria, Illinois Mr. E. C . Edwards , Decatur, Illinois. Dear Sir If a business expert said, "I can reduce your running expense one third" -- You'd say, "Show me." I am a clothing expert. I've been telling you that I can reduce your do- thes expense one third. Doesn't cost anything to be shown . What do you say? Very truly yours, McCANN, THE TAILOR • Panel 80 114 OVERCOMING INDIFFERENCE OR OPPOSITION CHALMERS MOTOR COMPANY Detroit, Michigan Mr. Harry K. Goodall, Elmhurst, Illinois. Dear Sir: We thank you for the interest you have shown in Chalmers cars, and in accordance with your request are sending you one of our "Six-30" catalogs under sepa- rate cover. You will find that it contains complete description and specifications of this car. Of course, the best way and the only way to decide upon the car you wish to buy is to get into the car yourself — put it over the "bumps" so to speak. Try it out for "get-away," hill-climbing ability, speeJ and power . That is what we want you to do . We have all the confidence in the world in our 3,400 R.P.M. Chalmers — we know what it will do and we know that it will perform to your utmost satisfaction. Many of our "Six-30" sales have been made through the medium of our catalogs only — to customers who know the prestige of the Chalmers organization and who have faith in the ability of the Chalmers shops to build "quality" cars. We mention this fact merely to illustrate the confidence the motor-buying public has in the Chalmers Company. The prestige we speak of has been gained through the Chalmers' long-standing policy to build "Quality" cars — cars that will stand up through hard service. The "Six-30" is the lowest priced Chalmers ever put on the market — but no sacrifice has been made in quality. The reduction in price is brought about through the wonderfully increased production facilities of the Chalmers plant. Our dealer, whose name appears on the enclosed card of introduction, will furnish you any further information relative to the Chalmers product upon request. Very truly yours, CHALMERS MOTOR COMPANY Panel 81 145 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE SPENCER HEATER COMPANY General Offices SCRANTON, PA. Mr. L. I. Thomas, Oak Park, 111. Dear Sir: Of all the experience that I have had as a manu- facturer, this is the most perplexing — To have our engineers design a boiler that does positively reduce heating costs 1/3 to 1/2 by using the cheap sizes of coal — that usually has to be fired once a day, and one that nrill maintain heat for 10 to 12 hours at a stretch in zero weather without attention — And then to find that some jump at the conclusion that our statements are exaggerated. So I am writing this personally, for I know the Spencer Heater and what it will do, and I know that you and everyone else is anxious to reduce heating cost to a minimum. The fault must be with the literature — so I am sending you none, but would suggest that you write to some of the Spencer's owners whose letters we have previously sent you. If you should like some testimony of someone nearer home, I will be glad to send you the names of some additional users. We suggested this to an inquirer in Duluth recently and he wrote to every name given in the testimonial book. When he finally placed his order he sent us the replies he had received with the comment that the original letters were lacking in enthusiasm when compared with his. If you are not convinced that the Spertcer will save you both time and money, it is not the fault of the heater but rather of the way we have presented the subject to you. If you will drop a line to me personally, asking me to explain any points that are not clear, I will indeed appreciate it. Thanking you in anticipation, I am Very truly yours, SPENCER HEATER COMPANY Panel 82 146 OVERCOMING INDIFFERENCE OR OPPOSITION But some propositions are such serious matters — ^buying them involves so many consequences, as in the case of an expensive piece of machinery or a device that will require changes in operating methods or a method of buying necessi- ties (as in changing from custom-made to ready-made clothes and vice versa; or shifting trade from a store where the prospect has an account) — that indifference may not safely be attributed to the prospect, even if he has had two letters without responding. He is often still open-minded on the matter, and simply is doubtful of the wisdom of the move. So, on such propositions, the best third letter is a direct positive-idea letter, only it should approach the idea from a different angle, so as to give the 'prospect a new light on it. The letter shown on page 148 illustrates this method. As a matter of fact, this type of letter is considered by experienced follow-up men as the natural type of third letter. The type of third letter shown on page 126 (the health ap- pliance letter) is really a fourth letter. In fact, whenever such letters are used, the third letter of the series is omitted and the time between letters is doubled. For instance, if between the first and second letters 10 days are allowed to elapse, and if the same period is allowed to pass between the second and third letters, between the third and fourth, it is usual to allow a double period, or 20 days. Therefore, you will usually find that in a series for a direct, uninvolved proposi- tion where the third letter has the visionary or negative ap- proach, a like period of 20 days is allowed between the second and the third letter. But this whole matter of frequency of the letters is one that should be built up by study of the actual results in each case. Usually a letter series may be started on a 10-day basis; and then, as results show the necessity or wisdom for it, this basis may be extended or contracted. More will be said about this in a later chapter when mailing lists are considered. But perhaps you will understand the whole proposition better by a study of the chart at the top of page 149. 147 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE NUWAY SEPARATOR COMPANY San Francisco, California Mr. Guy C. Williams, Ragnor, Wash. Dear Sir: It would please us to learn if the copy of our special separator catalog, mailed recently, contained information of interest to you. We trust you received it, and observed the money-making, time- and labor-saving features you will find only in the NUWAY . Coujd you visit our factory and see the accurately adjusted machinery, the splendid material and workman- ship put into the separator, you would readily understand why we absolutely guarantee the NUWA Y to be "the best." Please refer to page 6 of our catalog, and read our unlimited guarantee. The increased amount of butter fat or cream you will receive daily, and the perfect satisfaction you will enjoy in the long life and use of a NUW AY Separator, doubles the value of every dollar invested. Please don't make the mistake of buying a "cheap" separator. It will only be a continual source of annoy- ance and expense, repairs will soon be required, and much time and cream be lost in the separating. Just as "STERLING" stamped upon silverware assures the customer of its pure, high quality and valup, so NUWAY stamped upon a separator frame guarantees to the purchaser the finest separator ever built. There are absolutely no better separators made than the NUWAY . The man who knows separator values gets his money's worth when he buys the New Style NUWAY, ani it will look good to you and all the family. May we have the opportunity to quote you an attractive price on the separator you require for your dairy? How many cows have you and what size separator have you selected? Very truly yours, NUWAY SEPARATOR COMPANY Panel 83 148 OVERCOMING INDIFFERENCE OR OPPOSITION Indifferent or Opposed First Letter Conveys Idea Simply and Distinctly Feature Idea . " "" Feature ^^^^^=ZZ — — _ Feature ^ _^ Feature Sec nd Letter C onveys Idea More in Detail or More Farcibly Feature ^ ' Feature Idea ■'===— Feature ^^*^ Feature Third Letter Conveys Idea from Oifterent An^le Feature Fourth Letter Aporoaches Idea Ttiroush Negative or Visionary idea Connecting Link Positive Idea feature >^ Featura Panel 84 Indifferent or Opposed to Paying Promptly First Letter Conveys idea Slmpiy and Distinctly Feature Triird Letter Conveys idea liom Dilferent Angle Feature Fourtn Letter Aoo'Oacfies Idea trirouih Negative or Visionary Idea \ Second Letter Conveys Idea More n Oetaii ot More Forciol» Feature Feature Idea 3 Feature ...^ Feature Link Panel 85 149 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE It indicates the attitude of the prospect and the way the attitude may be overcome by four letters which begin with a simple presentation of the idea and end by presenting the idea through a visionary approach. In that chart you see that the prospect's state of mind can be assumed to change from open-mindedness, to hesitation, to doubt, and finally to indifference. The change from circle to square shows the reader's attitude and shows how the type of the letters should change. To prove the point, trace this theory in the four recon- structed selling letters illustrated on pages 151, 152, 153 and 154. The angle of approach for each letter is the one proved by the advertiser to have paid best. Note how closely it fol- lows the principle of our chart. (Letters beyond the fourth in the series do not interest us yet. They involve the points which come up in later chapters). A few pages back it was stated that the principles pre- sented in this chapter apply to a series of collection letters as well as they do to single letters. In concluding this chapter I want to make this point clear and so I'll ask you to follow me in an analysis of the first four letters of a collection series. Before I begin, however, let me say this about all letter campaigns : Too many follow-up series are built upon the hit-or-miss policy. As he is writing one letter a writer often thinks of a different or a better way to put his idea into words, and so he uses the new way in the next letter, regardless of the fact that what may be needed is a complete change of approach. True as this is in sales letter series, it is even more true in collection follow-ups. A man starts out, in preparing a series of collection letters, to be as courteous and considerate as possible. This is right, but often he gets so interested in the process of seeing how courteous he can be that he almost invents excuses for the debtor s failure to pay. Because that error is made so often, keep this point clear in your mind when writing collection letters : As he owes you an honest debt, it is for the debtor to make the apologies — not 150 OVERCOMING INDIFFERENCE OR OPPOSITION KNIGHT KNITTING COMPANY PORTLAND, OREGON " Mrs. H. M. Hopkins, Grandview, California. Dear Madam: It is a pleasure indeed to comply with your request for the new Knight-Knit Hosiery Booklet, and your copy is already addressed in the mail. Be sure to look on page 9 at the new striped models — these are the most stylish stockings of the year — a bit daring, but so pretty and charming and so MODISH THIS YEAR that every woman should have at least one pair. In most lines they will cost you $1 to $1.50 — but page 9 in the booklet shows Knight-Knits at ONLY 75 CENTS PER PAIRl Think of it! 75 cents! Then on pages 5, 6 and 7 are beautiful mercerized silk stockings for everyday wear at 35 cents and 50 cents. On page 8 are some fancy styles at 50 cents, and 65 cents. Then see the rich, sheeny, lustrous silk hose on page 10 at only $1 — and on up to $3. But before you look at these pages read page 3 care- fully — then you will learn why Knight-Knit Hosiery never grows old and faded looking — why Knight-Knits will never crock on your feet, or run in the wash. And on page 4 you can see why Knight-Knits never develop those annoying "ladders" down the legs. In Knight-Knits you can have the beauty and style and comfort of FINE hosiery with all the wear and economy of coarser goods. As no dealer in your city is yet handling Knight- Knit Hosiery, we will gladly fill your orders direct at prices quoted. Simply use the enclosed order blank and your every wish will be carefully followed. Very truly yours, KNIGHT KNITTING COMPANY Panel 86 151 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE KNIGHT KNITTING COMPANY • PORTLAND. OREGON Mrs. H. M. Hopkins, Grandview, California. Dear Madeun: No more of those horrid "ladders" starting at the knee, or where your garter fastens, and running down the leg of your stockings! No more stitches starting just below the ankle where the extra-ply heel is joined! No more toes poking through on the first day's wear and no more heels wearing out before you even BEGIN to get the value of your hosiery money! That's the good news that Knight-Knit Hosiery brings you. Where did you put the Knight-Knit Booklet you received? Get it out again now and see WHY Knight-Knits won't develop ladders — it's on page 4. See WHY Knight-Knits don't unravel at the ankle — it's on page 5. See WHY Knight-Knits are strong in the toes and tough at the heel — it's right there on page 5, too. Perhaps you didn't stop to realize the IMPORTANCE of those points before. But don't you see how much they will mean in saving you not only from buying hosiery so often, but in bother of mending, and annoyance over appearance? Knight-Knit Hose keep trim and shapely and NICE looking longer than any other stockings you ever wore . And then if you'll just notice the PRICES of each kind you'll see they save you 15 to 25 cents a pair on ordinary kinds, 25 to 50 cents on the fancy kinds, and 50 cents to $1 on all-silk hose. Why NOT have stockings as good as these? Why NOT save the money that Knight-Knits save? Why not? Surely you like NICE hosiery — surely you dislike to see your stockings breaking out with "ladders" or unraveling at the ankle? Surely you hate to take your shoes off at night and see a hole facing you! Then you just try some of those plain Knight-Knits on pages 5, 6 and 7, for everyday wear; a few pairs of those pretty, dashing kinds on page 9, for special occasions, and a pair or two of the beautiful all-silk stockings on page 10 for real dressy times. Make out a small order today and see for yourself how much better hosiery you can have, and STILL SAVE MONEY on them. Money back — quickly and agreeably — if you feel the slightest dissatisfaction. Use the order blank enclosed. Very truly yours, KNIGHT KNITTING COMPANY Panel 87 152 OVERCOMING INDIFFERENCE OR OPPOSITION KNIGHT KNITTING COMPANY PORTLAND, OREGON Mrs. H. M. Hopkins, Grandview, California. Dear Madam: Did the Knight-Knit Hosiery Booklet reach you? Have you had time yet to read it carefully? For surely if you have, one thing has impressed you — that you can have the QUALITY and the STYLE that every well-dressed woman wants in her stockings for less cost in Knight-Knit Hosiery than you ever saw before. Just think of pure-silk stockings — as lustrous as a fine old piece of burnished ebony, as sheer almost as a piece of lace, as THOROUGHBRED as a seal coat, and yet as durable in the feet, and at the garter joint, and at the knee, as cotton hose — and so reasonable in price that anyone can afford a pair or two. Just think of the new, seasonable, striped patterns all shades and combinations, in dainty mercerized yarn, at only 75 cents a pair. But Knight-Knits are not only stylish — in models 53, 54, 55 and 57, you may get your everyday stockings at wonderfully low prices — 35 cents and 50 cents for qualities usually sold at 50 cents and 75 cents. And every Knight-Knit has the Knight top that prevents the garter fastening from starting a ladder down the leg; and the Knight reinforcing stitch where the extra-ply heel is joined so your stocking won't start raveling there; and Knight toes and heels so your large toe won't poke its way through, or your shoe wear out the heel. Knight-Knit Hosiery wears! Why not PROVE it for yourself? Make your selections row and fill out the enclosed order blank. Remit only the regular retail price — we pay the express where there is no Knight-Knit dealer to supply you. And if when you get the stockings they don't please you, send them back and we will refund every cent of your money. Or if when you have worn one pair, it doesn't wear just as we said it would, send them all back and we will STILL REFUND ALL YOUR MONEY. No fairer offer could be made than this. Accept it today. Make out your list on the enclosed blank and mail it now. Very truly yours, KNIGHT KNITTING COMPANY Panel 88 1,53 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE KNIGHT KNITTING COMPANY Portland, Orcgoo Mre. H. M. Hopkins Gran dv lew California Four ireekB ago -- Juet 30 daya, to be exact about It -- ve sent you our new booklet on Knight-Knit Hoeiery. And YOU -- you have evidently looked it over, then forgotten. You MUST have been astoniehed to eee euch etocklnge as thoee on page 9 Belling for only 7B cents — but evidently you said "Oh, what's 25 cents or 50 cents or a dollar saved on stockings to ME -- I won't bother." You MUST have been delighted with the beautiful, lustrous, all-silk hose on page 10, and for a .moment thought that with such stockings at $1 a pair, or $1.50, or $2, or $3, you certainly would have, for once, all the fine silk stockings you wanted — but evidently you thought "Oh, what do I want of fine silk stockings -- 1*11 wear cotton." You must have been giad to learn from page 4 that at last you could have stockings that would not develop "ladders" down the leg, or ravel at the an]fle, or wear out at the toe and heel, before you got their worth in wear -- but evidently you then thought, "Oh, I don't mind " all stockings wear out SOIIETIUE, eo what's the difference if mine wear out before they should"'. It seems as if you UUST havo -thought those things, for otherwise wouldn't you at least have tried a pair or two of Knight-Knit Hosiery to see if all these wonderful points about them were really true? Of course, we know you didn't think those things -- though at first it would seem so. No careful woman would| WILFULLY neglect the chance to get stockings that WEAR LONGER; no economical woman would CARKLBSSLY ignore the opportunity to eave 15 to 25 cents a pair on cheap stockings, and a dollar or more a pair on silk onee . No woman who loves to be well gowned would INTEHTJEONALLY pass by the chance of having euch beautiful, such Btyliah, such "ohic" stockings at the cost of commonplace ones. It was simply that everybody hesitates at first about hellevlng a man- ufacturer's claims. We don't blame you. You don't know us. So we will do this -* simply pick out the kind of stockings you would like best, In the booklet. Put the size number on enclosed order card, sign it and enclose In the addressed envelop with the price of JUST ONE PAIR, We will send you a pair of the stockings desired. Wear them, send them to the wash, wear them again, and wash them again -- then if you aren't as well pleased with them as when they were new, send them back and back to you comes your money. That's the way to prove Knight-Knit claims. That's the way to eettle your doubts. That's the way to discover how to have iirettier, better stockings than you ever had before, and save money on every pairl Will you do it? Certainly you will — who could resist as fair and square an offer as that? Uake your selection now « fill out the card, mail It and get It done I And then you will see our claims come true. Thank you. Very truly yours, KHIGHT KNITTING COMPANY Panel 89 154 OVERCOMING INDIFFERENCE OR OPPOSITION you. A spirit of helpfulness and fairness should permeate your letters, but it should never grow so great in your mind that your letters appear afraid to demand the money. With those points in mind, let us run through the general policy of a collection follow-up. The first letter in a collection series faces the same condi- tion as the first of a sales follow-up — one should assume that the debtor is open-minded; that is, willing to pay. There- fore, the first letter should be just a simple reminder of the debt. A statement in most businesses is enough as in the first letter, below, of the Archer series. Statement 1^, Albert Moore , In account with A. H. ARCHER & COMPANY New York City, New York Oct. 1 Aoo't. previously rendered $119 39 You inuBt have overloolcod the above. Won't you oblige us by sending check to cover? A. H. Aroher & Company. Panel 90 155 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE The second letter should assume forgetfulness, just as the second sales letter should assume hesitation, and it should be constructed on the same simple plan, as illustrated by the letters in Panels 91 and 92. Some houses make use again of the statement form. Also, in the second letter, it is often a good policy, by incorporating a solicitation for more business, to demonstrate in a practical way a belief that the debtor has only overlooked the account. Now the conditions facing the third letter vary just as they do in sales letters. On a small account, or an account with a customer with whom you don't expect to do business again, you may skip the natural type of third letter, which, as shown for sales letters, conveys the same idea as the second letter with merely an approach from a slightly different angle. See the example shown in Panel 93. ADAMS & BALEY CHICAGO, ILLINOIS Mr. Parker Johnson, Glencoe, Illinois. Dear Sir: The check you intended to send us covering the payment due on your book accounts has not yet arrived -- no douht forgotten. Not a serious oversight, of course, hut for the sake of uniformity in the handling of thousands of accounts promptness in remitting is greatly appreciated. Just pin check or money order to this letter and use the enclosed envelop for return. We thank you. Very truly yours, ADAMS & BALEY Panel 91 156 OVERCOMING INDIFFERENCE OR OPPOSITION You will note that in all these letters, which have been picked carefully from the most successful "pullers" of concerns doing a large credit business in varying lines, none are discourteous, yet none of them whine or fawn upon the debtor. But they convey the idea of the writer's belief in the justness of his claim. The fourth letter must assume indifference on the debtor's part. Therefore, it should approach the Big Idea through a visionary channel, just as a sales letter should. In Panel 94 you will find a letter to illustrate the point. The first para- ADAMS & BALEY CHICAGO, ILLINOIS Mr. Parker Johnson, Glencoe, Illinois. Dear Sir: Perhaps you have not realized that several items on the statement enclosed have gone considera'bly past 30 days. They total $183.- 29, as we have shown. Oversights like this creep in on all of us hut now that your attention has heen called to the matter you will no doubt let us have your check for this amount at once. And we trust you will keep us in mind with further orders, too. How are you fixed for canned soups? If the frosts do the damage that is predicted, as is not unlikely, canned soups will be at a premium. In sending your check you would do well to put in a reserva- tion for as many cases of soups as you can use in the next few months. Very truly yours, ABAUS & BALEY Panel 92 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE graph, of course, is merely "an opener." The idea comes in the second paragraph, where you are made to put your- self in the creditor's place. The letter in Panel 95 is repro- duced by permission from a book, "Collecting the Coin," by Louis Victor Ey tinge, who has written many success- ful collection letters and who has helped many firrn^ collect thousands of dollars in bad accounts. In it, too, the presenting of the idea is very plain. In the chart (Panel 85) at the bottom of page 149 I show the exact process of construction for the first four letters of a collection follow-up, just as I did for the sales follow-up. And CARSON, MASON and OTIS Los Angeles, California Mr. W. A. Welsh, Tacoma, Washington, Dear Sir: Permit us to again remind you that you are letting your account run behind. Please note the terms on your original bill. These terms were not decided on by us in any hap- hazard way — they were carefully worked out as the basis on which we could AFFORD to do a credit business with our low margin of profit. Now we are GLAD to have you take full advantage of your good credit with us, but when you let the account drag overtime like this it embarrasses us. It will be so easy to forget again today about sending your check. Why don't you do it now, while it is still fresh in your mind? Thank you. Very truly yours, CARSON, MASON AND OTIS Panel 93 158 OVERCOMING INDIFFERENCE OR OPPOSITION in Panels 90, 96, 97 and 98 is a series of four letters, built by combining the best points in the first four letters of three different collection series, each of which has been unusually successful. Compare the policy back of each one with the general policy of the chart, see how they suggest a better way to make a collection series pay. R. T. CLEVELAND Cincinnati, Ohio Mr. A. G. Ackerman, Woodstock, Ohio. My dear Mr. Ackerman: I had surely expected your check would be in my office long before this time, as it is considerably over a month since your account became due. Unless you have conducted a similar busi- ness, you can hardly conceive of the mass of detail involved in handling the many thousands of these $3.50 accounts. The difference between profit and loss on such a business depends on the promptness of collections more than on any other one thing. I know you will not consciously be in- strumental in working a hardship on any con- cern with which you do business and am quite sure that when you see your failure to remit is doing Just this, you will send me a check by return mall. I should appreciate it if you will get it in the mail today. Yours cordially, R. T. CLEVELAND Panel 94 159 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE WILLIAMS BROTHERS COMPANY Charleston, South Carolina Mr. C. B. Singler, Charleston, S. C. Dear Mr. Singler: If you forgot — As I forgot -- And Tom, Dick and Harry all forgot as we forgot -- Say, wouldn't the business world be in a deuce of a fix? Why, the whole commercial fabric of credits and discounts would go to pieces! Just fancy how great would be your difficulty in collecting what was rightly yours, if everyone were to say, "I forgot." Fow, I forgot to send you my usual stiff letter, when you forgot us last month -- when you forgot to send us check for |320 -- and because it was partly my fault, I'm writing this little note to prevent your forgetting this time! I don't want to draw on you simply because the money rightfully belongs to us. But -- am I not justified in expecting your check to follow this memory marker? Sincerely yours, WILLIAMS BROTHERS COMPANY Panel 95 160 OVERCOMING INDIFFERENCE OR OPPOSITION Don't you really feel that you could construct a better letter right now than you could before? Even though you knew, as some of you doubtless did, everything we have so far covered; doesn't having it all in clear, graphic form make using it a more simple matter? Try out the plan of figuring out one Big Idea or Feeling for the next letter you write, before you start to write it, and see if it does not make that letter more graphic, more interesting, more human. Try the plan of diagramming the next Idea or Feeling you want to convey,. with its "features," just as we have done, and see if the letter you build on it doesn't snap and sparkle with life more than the same kind A. H. ARCHER & COMPANY New York City Mr. Altert Moore, Kansas City, Missouri. Dear Sir: You forgot -- That check which you were to send us 10 days ago . We dislike to remind you -- but we dislike still more to have the involved and unneces- sary bookkeeping expense attached to carrying one month's accounts over into the next. We will GREATLY appreciate your mailing us your check today. You needn't bother even to write a letter -- we understand how such oversights occur. Just enclose this statement and check in the addressed envelop. Yours very truly, A. H. ARCHER & COMPANY Panel 96 161 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE of a letter ever did before for you. Try out on the next "hard nut" correspondent to whom you have to write, the plan you have just learned of approaching him from a visionary or neg- ative angle, and see if you don't get a stronger, more ap- pealing letter than you could otherwise have written. Prove it to yourself right now. Turn to the third prob- lem section and get some practical experience in putting into practise the suggestions I have made. A. H. ARCHER & COMPANY New York City Mr. Albert Moore, Kansas City, Mo. Dear Sir: Enclosed you will find the THIRD STATEMENT sent you on the overdue part of your account. The amount is not large, but the aggregate of a large number of such accaok poroh ? The oomfort of iron- ing with an ••AJai" Requires no Id. tohen fire Ho ohonglng Irons Irohlng aan be done outdoors or any- where Panel 102 From this diagram, the "features" of which are complete enough to give you all the seUing points necessary to convey the Idea — write the complete letter just as good and strong 175 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE as you can. In the next chapter you will be shown the letter from which the above diagram was made to com- pare with yours. Problem 1 Next you should see what you can do in making a com- plete diagram of both visionary and positive ideas, with the connecting link and writing a letter based on them. Take this as an outline of the "load": A man received some goods of a certain house, but did not pay for them. After having received five duns, he has not even replied, A sixth letter is now to be written. The creditor wants to arouse in the buyer's mind a vision of the consequences his lack of attention to the bill will involve. It seems that as these goods were ordered by mail (if it can be shown that the debtor did not intend to pay for them when he ordered them) he is liable under U. S. General Stat- utes Section 1581, for defrauding by mail. The creditor doesn't want to say that out and out in his letter, as he wants to give the man one more chance. There you have a nice chance to practise your understanding of the use of the visionary or negative idea. Diagram it, write a letter based on your diagram, and then file all this material in your Material File. In the next chapter I'll show you how the problem was worked out by an expert oh collections. The foregoing problem and the two following I submit as typical of those which arise from day to day in the daily routine of the business correspondent. The practise you get in solving them will be sufficient to set in your mind the principles outlined in this part. On the other hand, you understand that these problems are only the beginning of the work that an ambitious person can do on this problem section. Problem 2 Now here is another problem that will give you some good hard thinking along the lines of conveying the negative idea. 176 OVERCOMING INDIFFERENCE OR OPPOSITION You are the manufacturer of a washing compound: Your product — call it anything you please — takes the dirt out of clothes without requiring them to be rubbed on a washboard. A housewife or a washerwoman may put three teaspoonfuls of it into a boilerf ul of dirty clothes, boil them 20 minutes, and have them "ready to rinse and blue and hang on the line." And, of course, your product won't hurt the clothes. We will say that you have circularized all the women in a town, several times, but though in other towns the campaign, has been successful, in this particular city results have been poor. So you decide to write a special letter for this town. Make a complete size-up of this problem on one of the charts you have in reserve. Diagram whatever idea you de- cide on. If you say it calls for a negative idea, dagram that. Then write. Of course, not knowing any more about the product than I have told you, you can't expect to do as well as if it were your own business, but you will get some fine practise and it will be interesting. File your effort in your Material File, because in the next problem section I' 1 show you how this problem was handled by one such manufacturer, with phenomenal success. Problem 3 One thing more. Turn again to the custom shirt maker's letter on page 169. Suppose this letter were going to men who wore only ready- made shirts. How would you handle it.? Make a new size-up on one of your charts and then try to do all that the new chart demands. File this material and in the next problem section I shall give you my version of it. 177 PART IV HOW TO MAKE YOUR MEANING CLEAR CHAPTER IV HOW TO MAKE YOUR MEANING CLEAR IN this fourth chapter we are going to take up one of the most interesting elements of letter writing. Without leading you into the mysteries of grammar or rhetoric I am going to show you how to make every letter you write mean exactly what you say; nothing more, nothing less. That's not only interesting, but important. How many letters have you tossed into the waste-basket because you couldn't, in the rush of business, take time to translate a jumble of words into ideas? And as you recall some of the letters you have written — letters which should have made good, but didnt — ^perhaps you'll agree that a lack of clearness is what failed to put them across. At any rate, cohsrence, that's vi hat a school teacher would call it, is the first essential in any letter. Lacking it, letters that carry their "load" splendidly, that present perfectly their Big Idea, whether positive or visionary-negative, fail to make their reader act — go into the waste-basket. Although books have been written on the subject and although there are scores of rules for attaining clearness, books and rules when boiled down amount practically to this: Clearness requires the use of the right word in the right place in the sentence. Substitute "right phrase" for right word and you have a definition of clearness in a paragraph. Substitute sentence for phrase and you have a definition of clearness in a whole composition. Now why is the use of the right word and right phrase so very important.'' Simply this. When you speak or write to a man he can only comprehend one word or idea at a time. As you talk, he builds a picture with the words you deal 181 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE WONDER ENGINE COMPANY St, Louii, Mo. Mr Will T. Spencer St Joseph, Mich The kind of fuel is an important item WONDER Kerosene engines operate on kerosene, distillate, solar oil, loppings and all fuels of like grade The principle of using low grade fuel by heating ihe-air from the waste exhaust without any waste of fuel gives the WONDER engine an advantage over all other makesi Read carefully pages 10 and 11 of the catalog on this point Remember that WONDER Kerosene engines can be instantly changed back to use gasoline, distillate or motor spirits, so that to in- vest in a WONDER Kerosene _ engine enables you to use cheap fuels now and change to gasoline or other fuels in the future if conditions change. Do not overlook the big ad- vantage of buying an engiiie suitable for all fuels But the price of the fuel, important as it is. is not the only thing to consider. The amount of fuel y.ou use IS still nsore important Therefore, be sure that the engine you order is guaranteed not to use in excess of one- tenth of a gallon per horsepower per hour If gasoline costs 15^ your fuel cost per horsepower hour should not be over 1^* If you buy a Kerosene engine and use 8c fuel your cost of operating per horsepower hour should be far less than It Just think of it! Remember that only four-cycle engines with auto- matic fuel cutout can save fuel. Two-cycle engines take fuel in full charges every revolution, thus using double the amount The open air pipe damper engines (called throttling governors by some people*} feed fuel continu- ously, only they increase or decrease the charge, and as a result are constantly feeding improper mixtures into the engine, which fouls, carbonizes the engine, and wastes froci 30 to 50% of the fuel WONDER engines feed the fuel only when it is needed in full charges, which makes a perfect mixture, does not foul, keeps the engine glean, and cuts the fuel consumption to the lowest point Any engine that uses more fuel, than we guarantee on WONDER engines cannot be classed as an economical power Very truly yours, WONDER ENGINE COMPANY Panel 103 182 MAKING YOUR MEANING CLEAR him. Each word should fit snugly on top of another, otherwise the whole structure will totter. When a boy, you built towers with .blocks. You quickly learned that each block had to be laid just right; the big ones at the bottom, the smallest ones on top. So with words and ideas in your daily work of letter writing. Let me give you another example of what I mean, because I want you to get this idea firmly fixed in your mind. Never forget it. Did you ever help carry the dinner dishes from the table to the kitchen? If you did, you will remember what a big stack of them you could carry if you piled them properly, the largest plates at the bottom, to hold on by, then the next sized plates, then smaller ones, then saucers, and so on. All you had to do to carry the pile was to get a grip on the bottom ones and hold on. The others rested securely, one on another, without any effort of yours. But if you stacked them up at random, in any order they happened to come to hand, plates on top of saucers, large dishes on small ones, why then you probably spilled them or at least you had a hard time carrying them. Well, in a homely way, that is just what psychologists say happens in a reader's mind when a writer does not arrange his thoughts properly — ^the tower tumbles and the idea to be conveyed is lost. For example, on the opposite page, you will find the idea- expressing paragraphs of a successful gas engine sales letter. Although this letter, to convey its Big Idea of economy and efficiency, gives you three different points to hold and carry in your mind at one time, it does so in such a way that you have no difficulty at all. After getting your mind to take hold of the broad, general point of the importance of the kind of fuel, the next point (the engine's ability to burn the cheap- est fuels) rests on it just as a small plate rests on a larger one. And that point furnishes a support for the next point — the amount of fuel consumed. And that makes a firm support for the next point — the method of feed. In short, you were 183 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE JACKSON FERTILIZER CO. Racine, WU. Mr Paul B. Beck Whitewater. Wis. It IS no uncommon thing for the use of 200 pounds of "Big Four" fertilizer on corn to net an increase in yield of 20 to 2'S bushels an acre So you can see the great profits that can be made from its use Land that produces a ton of hay an acre, if properly fertilized, will produce 1 1/2 to 2 tons The more approved way of applying fertilizers is to use a wheat drill and drill the fertilizer in prior to planting the corn. However, icany thousands of tons of fertilizers are applied in the drill row with th^ fertilizer attachment on the corn planter It is much better when the fertilizer- is drilled m the rows, as they can be checked and crosE-cultivBted, and the cross-rcultivation tends to distribute the fertilizer between the rows We recommend our "Big Four" Brand for use on corn, at the rate of 150 to 200 pounds an acrp. and our "Ajax" Brand for oats, timothy, and so forth, at the rate of 200 pounds an acre Either of these brands we ca,n quQte you at 81 60 per hundred, delivered In IrJSB than carload lots, our terms are cash with the order Very truly yours JACKSON FERTILIZER COMPANY Panel 104 184 MAKING YOUR MEANING CLEAR given a Big Idea, a foundation on which to build, then a smaller one to pile on top of that, and the least important idea to surmount the pile. If you have not done so, turn to the letter and read it. Isn't it sensible? One can't help but get the writer's idea. But let's look at the other side of the proposition before making a decision. Read the letter in Panel 104 on the opposite page. The panel contains the idea-expressing paragraphs of a letter used by a fertilizer manufacturer— used with poor re- ults, too. The reason for its failure is plain. It's only too evident that the writer covered his 'points by dictating them just as they popped into his head and without the least regard as to the kind of structure they would build up in the mind of the reader. Didn't you find yourself halting, as you read, to "get the drift" of the letter.? And when you were through, did you have half so satisfactory a grasp on the Big Idea as that which you got from the engine man's letter? Of course you didn't. And if you stop to think about it, the reason why the letter fails to get across is plain. The writer of that fertilizer letter piled plates on saucers. The letter is another case of piling big blocks on little ones — big ideas on little ones. The point I make will be very clear if you will look over the diagrams at the bottom of Panels 103 and 104. In the lower part of Panel 103, I stacked the "features" of the en- gine letter in a pile just as plates should be stacked to show you the mental burden the reader has to carry and also to show you why the letter is so easy to read. A letter easy to read is, oP course, easy to understand. Then at the bottom of Panel 104, 1 stacked the "features" in the fertilizer letter. It is plain how much juggling the reader of that letter had to do, in addition to reading, to carry the thoughts of the letter and to understand the Big Idea the writer of it intended to convey. In plain terms, the writers of letters like the second one expect the reader not only to read the letter, but also to do part of the writer's own work; that is, think the letter. And 185 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE that, many people decline to do. So, many a letter goes unheeded, many a story is laid down unfinished, -many an audience yawns and wishes the speaker would finish, and many a man's conversation earns him the reputation of being a bore : simply because the reader has to do too much mental juggling and balancing to get the idea which the writer intended to convey. Let that great philosopher, Herbert Spencer, make this plainer to us. In his essay, "The Philosophy of Style," he put his finger squarely on the trouble. After citing many general maxims on how to write and speak clearly, he summed up all of them in the paragraph which I quote below: "On seeking for some clue to the law underlying these current maxims we may see shadowed forth, in many of them, the importance of econo- mizing the reader's or hearer's attention. To so present ideas that they may be apprehended with the least possible mental effort, is the desidera- tum towards which most of the rules point. When we condemn writing that is wordy or confused, or intricate — when we praise this style as easy, and blame that as fatiguing, we consciously or unconsciously assume this desideratum as our standard of judgment. Regarding language as an apparatus of symbols for the conveyance of thought, we may say that, as in a mechanical apparatus, the more simple and better arranged its parts, the greater will be the effect produced. In either case, whatever force is absorbed by the machine is deducted from the result. A reader or listener has at each moment but a limited amount of mental power available. To recognize and interpret the symbols presented to him re- quires part of this power; to arrange and combine the images suggested requires a further part; and only that part which remains, can be used 'or realizing the thought conveyed. Hence, the more time and attention it takes to receive and understand each sentence, the less time and atten- tion can be given to the contained idea; and the less vividly will the idea be conveyed." Now, just as an experiment, for the last sentence substi- tute this: "The more time and attention it takes to juggle and balance each individual dish, the less time and attention can be given to maintain your hold; and the less securely can that stack of dishes be carried." There you have the same problem reduced to commonplace English. Spencer might be horrified to see his thought so twisted, yet in my homely, everyday illustration you have a simple key to the cultivation of a char, vivid, clean-cut style of expression — 186 MAKING YOUR MEANING CLEAR a homely key by which we ordinary people, without the genius of great writers, can, nevertheless, adapt the style of some of the greatest of writers to our everyday affairs. Now then, just as we did in the three preceding chapters, let us get down to brass tacks, begin at the beginning, and take up the job of improving our style. First, let us see how we may make the description of any piece of merchandise, or any business service, or any other business want or demand that we may have to express, so accurate and so clear and so realistic that it will live in the reader's mind. Suppose that instead of just a plain, everyday business man you were really a great writer, and suppose you had conceived the idea of some unusual situation — some situation that your readers never have experienced or heard of. You want to make them, even though it is entirely strange and unfamiliar to them, see it and feel it as though it were familiar. In business you often have to describe a machine or a package or an idea or a situation of some kind that the reader is totally unfamiliar with. Hence we are not going so far afield as it might seem. Assume that you have conceived the idea of a great cannon breaking from its lashings on board a battleship at sea and creating terror and panic. You want to picture the damage it can do — rolling and pitching about the deck with the rolling and pitching of the ship; battering, smashing, and ramming; and to picture its danger to life — turning unexpectedly on its course with the tossing of the sea, running in circles or rushing from end to end; you want to make it seem like some dreadful wild beast; and you want to picture its might and power — with its enormous weight and frightful speed, and its unmanageableness; because, while it seems to have the power to move and to act like a creature alive, yet it is with- out the brain or reasoning power of a live creature. In skeleton form, in Panel 105 on the next page, are your "features." Of course you cannot begin your description with the "feature" you would naturally think of first — the damage 187 BUSINiESS CORRESPONDENCE the cannon can do. Your reader, unfamiliar with such situations, cannot yet comprehend the damage it holds. Re- member, in the second chapter, page 77, how confusing and unconvincing the addressing machine company's letter be- came when we started it with, "You can typewrite names THE "FEATURES" The damage it can do Its danger to life Its lilteness to a wild beast Its power Man's utter inability to manage it Panel 105 and addresses at a speed of 30 per minute — " instead of first working the reader up to appreciating that speed? Well, you have the same task now — you must start with the "feature" that will most easily work your reader up to the point of appreciating the danger of damage in the situation. So, just like the writer of the Addressograph letter, you must begin with something the reader can understand for himself — something he "can take hold of," like the bottom plate in the stack of dishes. Recall how in Washington Irving's description, quoted in the second chapter, the author began with, "On all sides he beheld vast stores of apples." That was something the reader could grasp at once without effort. Therefore, in the description of the terrors of a ship's cannon broken from its lashings at sea, as your reader is unfamiliar with shipboard conditions, begin with some "feature" that is familiar, with some "feature" that he can appreciate or grasp or picture easily. You must, figuratively, start with him on land and take him to sea with you. Now, then, -wouldn't the gun's likeness to some wild beast be such a "feature" to start with? 188 MAKING YOUR MEANING CLEAR Any of us can vividly picture a wild beast at once. And if we get to thinking of the loose cannon as a wild beast let loose, we then can easily appreciate the danger of it. So the best point to put first and foremost in the reader's mind is the likeness to a wild beast. The second point should be the one that will rest most solidly on the thought of a wild beast and that, of course, is power to kill and maim. With a firm hold on the idea of a wild beast any reader can easily carry on top of it the idea of the beast's danger to life. Then, with the thoughts of dangers aroused, it is easy to attach those thoughts to a gun broken loose. From a gun's danger to life your reader can easily go on to appreciate its ability to do the ship damage. That should come third. Consideration of the damage it can do will pre- pare your reader to take in and appreciate its unmanageable- ness. Although to start with, your reader knew nothing about the effect of a cannon broken loose at sea, he now has a clear grasp on the terrors you want him to feel. See how simp'y you can choose the order in which your "fea- tures" ivill be grasped and held most easily by the reader, when you keep in mind that picture of a stack of dishes to carry? Of course, in fancying you as a great writer about to de- scribe the terrors of a ship's cannon broken loose at sea, I merely wanted to prepare you for an analysis of the style used by Victor Hugo in that wonderful description of his of just such a situation. On the next page I have taken that description of Hugo's, which you will find complete in his novel "Ninety -Three," and separated it into its "features" about as I did for the Irving, Lincoln, and Ingersoll quota- tions in previous chapters. I stacked its "features" to let you see how every one rests solidly on the preceding one — beginning with the gun's likeness to a wild beast, and going on to its dangerousness, its power to damage, its might, and its unmanageableness. Begin reading at the bottom of the illustration. After you have passed the foundation "feature" — the biggest dish, read up, one step at a time. 189 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE What is to be done? How to end this? A tempest ceases, a cyclone passes, a wind falls, a broken mast is replaced, a leak is stopped, a fire dies out; but how to control this enormous brute of bronze? In what way can one attack it? You can make a mastiff hear reason, astound a bull, fascinate a boa, frighten a tiger, soften a lion ; but there is no resource with that monster — a cannon let loose. You cannot kill it — it is dead; at the same time it lives. It lives with a sinister life bestowed on it by Infinity. 5 The mad mass has the bounds of a panther, the weight of the elephant, the agility of the mouse, the obstinacy of the axe, the unexpectedness of the surge, the rapidity of lightning, the deafness of the tomb. It weighs ten thousand pounds, and it rebounds like a child's ball. Its flight is a wild whir] abruptly cut at right angles. 4 It is a battering ram which assaults a wall at its own caprice. Moreover, the battering ram is metal, the wall wood. It is the entrance of matter into liberty. One might say that this eternal slave avenges itself. It seems as if the power of evil hidden in what we call inanimate objects finds a vent and bursts suddenly out. It has an air of having lost patience, of seeking some fierce, obscure retribution; nothing more inex- orable than this rage of the inanimate. 3 This mass turns upon its wheels, has the rapid movements of a billiard ball; rolls with the rolling, pitches with the pitching; goes, comes, pauses, seems to meditate; resumes its course, rushes along the ship from end to end like an arrow, circles about, springs aside, evades, rears, breaks, kills, extenninates. 2 A gun that breaks its moorings becomes suddenly some indescribable sr^^r- natural beast. It is a machine which transfoics itself into a monster. 1 Panel 105 190 MAKING YOUR MEANING CLEAR See how easy it is for you to grasp the situation although it is a totally unfamiliar one. Probably no more vivid description has ever been penned. But the arrangement of "features," which makes it so vivid and so easy to understand, can be utilized in an ordinary business letter, as we shall now see. In Panel 107 on the next page is the sales letter of a self- heating iron concern — or, more correctly, the idea-express- ing paragraphs of it, as that is all we are interested in now. Read the first paragraph. It conveys the negative idea of the strain and discomfort of old-fashioned ironing in the summer. Did it begin with the hard work of ironing in the summer, as you might have naturally expected it to.? No. And why? As the letter was mailed out in April, a woman would have had as hard a time appreciating that point as Hugo's readers would have had appreciating the danger of the loose cannon at sea. And as Hugo first called up the likeness to a wild beast as something the reader could grasp quickly, so the writer began with the "feature" that women could grasp quickly even in April: "How women do dread hot days!" From hot days in general to ironing days in particular is easy. Now notice the progression from "ironing day" to "roaring hot fire"; from that to carrying the hot irons from the stove; from that to the likeness of the kitchen to a bake oven; from that to "hot, stuffy odor"; and from that, to "No wonder women hate ironing in the summer. No wonder women's health breaks down under such a strain." By the end of the paragraph the reader has built up such a vivid picture of ironing- day hardships that she is hungry for a mental image of ironing without such discomforts. In short, the reader has a stack of separate thoughts — an idea — that she carries without mental effort. Although the description is one of a common, everyday situation, and although it was written by a plain, everyday business man, the method of putting the idea across is the same as Victor Hugo's. 191 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE AJAX BRASS COMPANY PITTSBURGH, PA. Mrs. C. L. Delvin, Chicago Lawn, 111. Dear Friend: How women do dread hot summer days! Par- ticularly the weekly ironing days — when the stove must be kindled and a roaring hot fire made just to keep the old-fashioned irons hot. And then the long hours — trotting from hot stove to ironing board and back again — a trip almost every two minutes. The sun sizzling down and the stove turning the kitchen into a sure enough bake -oven and the hot, stuffy odor of the ironing — enough to make one sick. No wonder women HATE ironing in summer. No wonder women's health breaks down under such a strain. Wouldn't it be just FINE to do the ironing out on a cool back porch — or out under a shady tree, on hot days? Wouldn't it be a delightful relief to any woman to forget all about kindling a fire and then standing over a hot stove for hours at a time every ironing day in summer? If you had an AJAX SELF-HEATING FLATIRON you wouldn't have to kindle a fire — the ironing wouldn't have to be done in a blazing hot kitchen — there would be no need for continually running to and fro from ironing board to hot stove changing irons . With an AJAX SELF-HEATING FLATIRON the ironing could be do-e where one pleased — in the cool basement — out on the breeze-swept porch — out under the shade of the trees. Yours very truly, AJAX BRASS COMPANY Panel 107 AS TO ORIGINALITY Originality that will make a letter pull is not a secret art locked in the mental store rooms of a few successful correspondents. It merely requires study and applying a few definite principles. In this chapter, two of those principles are fully explained. One is that "features" of the Big Idea should be stacked in an orderly column. The idea easiest to understand goes at the bottom of the column and the most difficult idea at the top, with others in the order of their importance, between. The other principle is that time, study, thought should be given to words. They supply color. They awaken sympathy. They lead to acceptance of your proposi- tion. The letter above and the one on page 193 are admirable examples of the application of both principles. Note how easily the writers progressed from idea to idea and see how the words fit the idea, and help the reader to understand 192 MAKING YOUR MEANING CLEAR N. W. HALSEY 8b CO. LA SALLE AND ADAMS STREETS Chicago, Illinois Mr. S. A. Dennis, Chicago, Illinois. Dear Sir: Of all forms of public service, none constitutes a more vital part of the needs of a community than its water supply. Given then a water company, serving a populous and well-established community, operating under a favorable franchise, and with a conservative debt, its bonds are among the most stable and desirable forms of investment. We are now offering an issue of first mortgage water bonds, the obligation of a company which has been in successful operation for 34 years, and now serving a population of about 70,000. These bonds, the State Water Company, First Mortgage 6's, mature in 1930, are available in denominations of $1,000, $500, and $100; and are offered strictly subject to prior sale and change in price at 100 and interest, to yield 6%. The company furnishes the water supply, both for public and private purposes, to the entire city of Riverview and two smaller adjoining communities. Riverview is a live, modern community, capital and largest city in the state. The franchises of the company we extend beyond the maturity of these bonds and the value of the company's properties, on all of which these bonds are a first lien, have been conserva- tively appraised by independent experts at an amount largely in excess of the company's funded indebtedness. Yet earnings are now 1 3/4 times the interest requirements . Our own recommendation of these bonds, which is the outgrowth of exacting investigations into the affairs of the company prior to our purchase of the issue, is well substantiated by that of a number of the most conservative banks which have purchased the bonds freely, either for their own account or for redistribution among their clients, thus demonstrating their own confidence in the bonds and adding their recommendation to ours. Here then is a bond, a first mortgage on all the properties of a company furnishing the most necessary form of public service to a substantial and progressive community, and having behind it a demonstrated earning capacity for a period of 34 years. These bonds are available at a price to return the investor a very liberal yield. We urge the necessity of a prompt acceptance by wire at our expense if you desire a reservation for either immediate or delayed delivery of some of the few remaining bonds. Yours very truly, N. W. HALSEY & CO. Panel 108 193 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE Again I have proved that the principles underlying great literature and good letter writing are fundamentally the same. If you understand principles, you can apply them to an ordinary business letter just as easily as you can apply fundamentals of arithmetic to any mathematical problem. Two times two is always four at any place, at any time, in any problem. The need of piling small ideas on big ones in any written work, always exists. If you have the slightest doubts of this newest principle, take time to look for it in good letters which have been pro- vided in this book. Any letter shown you in previous chap- ters will prove my point. Letters such as the System letters and the health appliance letter in the second chapter are especially good and will bear me out. Look them over, not now but later, with the new principle in mind. Right now, however, we'll prove the principle by some new letters I selected from my collection. For instance, on page 193 is a letter used by a large bank. How often do 4. The Security behind Them 3. An Issue of Water Contiiany Bonds We Are Now Offerini 2. The Financial Stability of Their Bonds 1. The Economic Stability of Water Companies Panel 109 you see a letter on financial affairs that you can thor- oughly understand without great mental effort — unless you happen to be an expert on investment matters? But you can understand the whole idea of the letter on page 193 without a bit of trouble. In the diagram above is the reason why you can grasp the letter's idea so easily. (Omit consideration of the last two paragraphs, as they are not part of the 194 MAKING YOUR MEANING CLEAR idea, but involve arousing conviction and stimulating action, which will be taken up later) . If Hugo had been writing this letter, though his language would have been more vivid, undoubtedly his style of arrangement would have been practically the same. The first thing he would have done — unconsciously per- haps, for to a man who is writing constantly, style of expres- sion becomes almost automatic — the first thing Hugo would have done would have been to select the best foundation "feature" — a "feature" that could be grasped most easily and nat- urally by the reader. The economic stability of water companies is the easiest "feature" for men seeking invest- ments to grasp, isn't it? Certainly it is, just as dread of hot days was the easiest "feature" for the women who would receive the self -heating iron manufacturer's letter to grasp; and just as the cannon's likeness to a wild beast was the easiest for Hugo's readers to grasp. With the opening "feature" settled on, Victor Hugo would have next selected the "feature" most easily supported by the first one. Wouldn't you readily have picked for the second "feature" "the financial stability of water companies' bonds," if you were watching the piling up of your points so though they were dishes you wanted to stack up in solid form.? And you, too, having this newest principle thor- oughly in mind, would have picked the other "features" of your Big Idea just as they are shown in the diagram. Now let's give this principle another practical test. Let's take that retail clothier's letter which you looked over in part in the preceding problem section. Having secured some great end-of-the-season bargains in suits which you are going to offer at low prices, you want to work your prospects up to an appreciation of the unusual values you have secured. Begin your letter with this "fea- ture," one that all business men can easily grasp: "Every year when the rush period of a busy season is over, the big clothing manufacturers draw a deep, long breath and begin to straighten up stocks and warehouses." 195 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE W. T. ROGERS CO. MEN'S FURNISHINGS Atlanta, Ga. A. W. Carlson, Atlanta, Georgia. Dear Sir: Every year when the rush period of a busy selling season is over the big clothing manufacturers draw a deep, long breath and begin to straighten up stock and warehouses. And nearly always they find suits set to one side during the rush, for one reason or another — reserved, maybe, on some salesman's request for a particularly good customer and then canceled; or marked "hold" and the reason forgotten; or often just pushed out of sight by accident. These suits are generally the very best of the stock. But they have to be disposed of quickly without regard for cost, to make room for the coming season's stock; for space is more valuable than clothing. Usually the big city dealers snap them up like lightning. But this year West, Winsor and Mack's salesman for this territory picked out for me the very crecim of these suits. There are some wonderful dark, cloudy grays — soft as down, light in weight almost as a feather, but warm as fleece. Linings of sheeny, rustly, silk serge. They sold for $40; I got them through my friend the salesman for $19.50, and have marked them $22.50 — fair enough, isn't it? There are a few — not many — rich blue cheviots, a blue that you won't get next year — deep and lustrous and warm. Same price. Then quite a number of domestic weaves in browns, grays, and blacks, beautifully made up and finished, and tailored with the taste of custom goods. These sold all season for $25 and $30 — what do you think I have marked them now? — $181 Come in and look them over. It's just like having a brand new fall stock to pick from — at end of the season's prices, only no end of a season ever before had values like these. Come tomorrow — Tuesday — for they'll go quick. Very truly yours, W. T. ROGERS CO. Panel 110 196 MAKING YOUR MEANING CLEAR With that "feature" as a foundation, the next, naturally enough, is what happens when the manufacturers begin to straighten up, like this: "And nearly always they find suits set to one side during the rush, for one reason or another — reserved, maybe, on some salesman's request, for a particularly good customer and then canceled, or marked 'hold' and the reason for- gotten, or often just pushed out of sight by accident." Keeping in mind the analogy of "stacking up dishes" for your reader to carry, see how easily the second "feature" rests on the first. And on the opposite page is a letter con- taining these "features." Notice how each point rests on the preceding one as solidly as one plate rests on another. Just see what a clear grasp you get of the Big Idea of it — and how tempting it seems ! Then consider the letter on page 198. That is a letter used by a clothier in another city for almost the same purpose; but after reading it you don't even begin to have the grasp on the idea that you had after reading the other letter. The reason for that is the disordered way in which the "features" are presented. What do we ordinary men know about "Kleinberg's wholesale surplus"? We don't appreciate that first "feature" any more than Victor Hugo's readers would have appreciated the dangers of a cannon loose at sea if he hadn't worked them up to it. But we can imagine the straightening-up process that might be necessary to a manufacturer at the end of a busy season. That is the way the first merchant approached us. In the second letter we must struggle to comprehend that "wholesale surplus." And then on top of it we are abruptly handed the thought of "prices so low" and "values so extraor- dinary." Of course, as we all know more or less about sacri- fices made on surplus stock, we can, when we stop to think about it, take on that thought of prices easily enough, but at once the letter hands us more about "surplus"! It is just like getting another dinner plate added to our pile of dishes right on top of a small saucer! 197 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE THE EMPORIUM New Brunswick New Jersey G. T. Peterson, New Brunswick, New Jersey. Dear Sir: I want every one of my personal acquaintances and customers to know about the special sale of suits from Kleinberg's wholesale surplus. The prices are so low, and the values so extraordinary that I feel sure you'll want some of the good things I can show you. These are new goods — just made up: surplus yardage of fine foreign and domestic weaves; beautiful stuff; fancy weaves and blues. $15 now for $20 and $22.50 suits. $20 now for $25 and $30 suits. $25 now for $35 and $40 suits. And at $30 the very choicest, finest goods made. I can also show you at $13.50 some soft weave blues, with chalk-line stripes that are $20 values. Come in and see me; and I'll find the best thing we have for you. Yours very truly, THE EMPORIUM Panel 111 THE LOST IDEA Looking for the proverbial needle in a haystack is easy when compared to finding the idea in some sales letters. Compare the sales letter on page 196 and the one above. There's a big lesson in them. Both deal with the same subject, but see how the letter above loses you in a tangled web of words while the other leads you up, "feature" by "feature," to a complete understanding of the Big Idea. In reading the letters you write, must your reader grope in dark pockets of your mind for the lost idea? Must your reader thinle your letter as well as read it? Try in your next letter the new plan explained in this chapter of piling "feature" on "feature". Let the returns answer the question for you. 198 — ' BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE And then back again comes the letter to prices. But there is still another reason why this letter does not impress you with its Big Idea as clearly as it should, and it is now time to consider it. You will remember that Herbert Spencer said: "A reader or listener has at each moment but a limited amount of mental power available. To recognize and interpret the symbols pre- sented to him, requires part of this power; to arrange and combine the images suggested requires a further part; and only that part which re- mans can be used for realizing the thought conveyed. Hence, the more time and attention it takes to receive and understand each sentence, the less time and attention can be given to the contained idea; and the less vividly will that idea be conceived." Up to this time we have just been observing what an important effect the order of "features" makes in the reader's work of "arranging and combining the images suggested." Now in the clothier's letter reproduced on page 198, we see the importance also of not leaving too big a mental jump between one point and another. The first thought that letter gives you is of the manu- facturer's "wholesale surplus." The second is that the "prices are so low and the values so extraordinary." As I said in our first review of the letter, if you once grasp the significance of "wholesaler's surplus" you can appreciate that a surplus stock might cause low prices. But when you first read the letter, didn't you have to make a mental ex- planation to yourself of that relation of "wholesaler's surplus" to low prices, before it was well established in your mind.? I'm sure you did. I know I did. And the relation of other features to each other required mental calculation, too. This seems like a trifle, I know, and yet the wliole matter of mental impressions is made wp of separate trifles, and, as Spencer says, "the more time and attention it takes to receive and understand each sentence, the less time and attention can be given to the contained idea." It is hard enough at best to get enough of a reader's attention to sell goods or to collect money or to create satisfaction by letter without making it harder than we need to, even by a trifle. 199 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE HAHN 8b KENDALL Peoria, 111. Mr. Albert Johnson, Peoria, 111. Dear Sir: On your way to the Corn Exposition at the Fair Grounds you will pass two green cottages on Exposition Avenue between Main and Commerce. The numbers are 110 and 114 Exposition. This property, fronting 95 feet, considerably more than 100 feet deep, and partially looking down Com- merce Street, can be bought for $15,500, or less than S165 a front foot. Inside property on Main or Commerce at this point, not so deep, cannot be bought for $200 a front foot. As practically all the traffic going out Main and Commerce turns into Exposition in front of this property, we consider it an exceptionally good purchase, even at the same prices prevailing on Main and Commerce. At $40 less a front foot it is just that much a bargain. 213 front feet of new brick buildings are being constructed on Main Street at Exposition, and every foot of space has already been leased to substantial business concerns. The Continental Gin Company, just one block away, has already commenced work on the $300,000 addition to its plant. A new 7-story warehouse on Commerce and the T. & N. 0. Railway was recently announced. Don't you agree with us that this is a splendid piece of property to buy? $3,500 cash; balance easy. The two houses help to carry the investment . Sincerely yours, HAHN & KENDALL Panel 112 WHICH ? In Panels 112, 113 and 114 there are two gnod letters and one poor one. Without reading further see if you can pick the good one. The letter in Panel 112 took hold of its readers at once because of its frank appeal to the reader's personal interest. That collection letter in Panel 1 13 stirs by its mysterious warning of the federal courts. Well, then, that leaves the letter in Panel 114. Did you pick it correctly? See how it buzzes from idea to idea like a fly at a pirnic. 200 MAKING YOUR MEANING CLEAR But in the other clothier's letter — the one on page 196 — ^you will find no mental effort left to the reader. You don't have to argue with yourself for even an instant to associate the end of a rush season with putting stock in order; nor to asso- ciate putting a stock in order with uncovering overlooked surplus stock; nor to associate the discovery of surplus suits set aside for "particularly good customers" with their being of high quality; nor to associate their high quality with the necessity for moving them quickly before they go out of style with the new season. And so on. BENNETT COLLECTION CO. Duluth, Minnesota Mr. Ellis Osvald, St. Paul, Minn. Dear Sir: We have not, as yet, heard from you in response to our letter regarding your account for $9.20, now 60 days overdue. If there is any doubt in your mind as to the position in which you have placed yourself by your apparent failure to act in good faith, we suggest that you consult your attorney and ask him to read to you Section 1581 General Statutes of the United States and Section 5840 Revised Statutes of the United States. This may cost you several dollars, but it will be money well spent. There may be some good reason why you have not paid. If there is, you certainly owe it to yourself to explain why you have not. Your continued silence will simply result in adding $15 or $20 to the claim in costs and penalties and having an execution and garnishment issue against you, to say nothing of having it known that the law must be invoked to compel you to pay your just debts. We have now warned you that this matter cannot be further ignored, and we disclaim all responsibility for any trouble which may ensue as a result of your continued disregard of your obligation and of our letters. Yours truly, BENNETT COLLECTION CO. Panel 111 201 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE On page 200 is a real estate agent's letter, further proof of the deductions we have made. Observe the opening "feature" — "On your way to the Corn Exposition . . . you will pass two green cottages" — something you can take hold of right away. And you don't have to pause the fraction of a second to associate the size of the property with what it can be bought for. Nor do you have to make an effort to turn your mind to what the neighboring property sells for and from that to a comparison of real worth and so on. More proof from another source: take the sixth letter in a collection series, shown on page 201. "We have not as yet heard from you" — that is something the debtor can take hold of quickly. Contemplation of the position in which he DEMPSEY 8b CLARK Milwaukee, Wis. Mrs. J. 0. Thien, Mequon, Wis. Dear Madam: We have had some correspondence with you regarding Dempsey's Exercisers for children, as described in the enclosed folders. This equipment has met with great success wherever it has been used. It embodies all of the essential features of the complete gymnasium, making possible the most beneficial forms of exercise and amusement. We are again pleased to quote you the following low prices: Outdoor Exerciser, Complete Outfit No. 599W $14.00 Combination Exerciser No. 623W 8.50 These prices are net f .o.b. cars. Remit 25% of the amount of order in advance and shipment will be made C.O.D. for balance. Our offer of a 10 days' trial at our risk, money to be refunded if you are dissatisfied, still holds good. Send in your order at once so as to be sure to get advantage of the above low prices. Yours truly, DEMPSEY & CLARK Panel 114 MAKING YOUR MEANING CLEAR has placed himself by the creditor's not having heard from him fits on the first thought naturally. The thought of legal difficulties and expenses associates itself with the contemplation of his position. And then the realization either of having no legal excuse, or, if he has, the advisability of stating it, has a place all made for it. And so does each other point pyramid on the original "foundation." Reverse by looking over a poor letter. Read slowly the letter on page 202 and note the wide gaps between points — gaps that you must fill in by your own mental effort to make the letter effective. What do you know about this equip- ment's success? You must take it for granted, out of a clear sky, or search your memory for facts about it. Then, when the letter hands you the thought of all the features the equipment embodies, you must refer somewhere else for the facts to fill in. What is needed in this letter and what is needed in the clothier's letter on page 198 is not only a change in the order of points, but also the insertion of more 'points of in- formation in between them — more "features." Those letters are like a moving picture film in which you would first see, say, Charlie Chaplin at the top of the stairs, then see him lying at the bottom without the details of his fall fitted in be- tween the first and last scenes. Such pictures wouldn't get a laugh. Such letters can't get action. Going back again to our an- alogy of the stack of dishes to be carried, you can see that these two letters make the idea as dif- ficult to carry clearly in mind as it would be difficult to carry a tall stack of small butter plates balanced on a large dinner plate. A mere glance at the panel above will call to your mind that such a stack of dishes 203 Panel 115 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE is harder to handle than even a much larger stack would be; provided, that in the larger stack, between the very- small dishes and the very large one, there were some medium- sized dishes to build on, as in the panel below. In other words, either letter could be much longer and yet easier to understand, for the added length would save the reader the mental effort of jumping mental .gaps unassisted. Notice how he must jump from "surplus stock" to "low prices" in one letter, and from "the equipment's success" to "what it embodies" in the other. Now you see and now understand what an advantage length was in the clothier's letter reproduced on page 196. Too often, in trying to be brief, letter writers violate the principle of supplying sufficient mental steps to allow a reader to build up the idea. By being brief they force their readers to supply the "features" omitted in the letter. That's too much mental ivorkfor a reader. It's al- most if not quite as bad as mixing big ideas with little ones. Of course, a long letter is not always best nor is a short letter always worst. Which to choose is a matter of judgment. Choosing, too, may be based on the answer Lincoln gave a friend who asked him how long a man's legs should be. "Long enough to reach the ground," Lincoln answered. And that's the way with letters, they should be long enough to do their work. The man who argues that a short letter is always best generally says, "It's too much work to read a long letter." When he says that, he admits Spencer's argument that econ- omy of the reader's time and attention is essential. And then he reverses himself by proposing to make his reader supply the missing part of the letter! 204 Panel 116 MAKING YOUR MEANING CLEAR That's like cutting the length of a telegram so much that the man who gets it can't understand it. In trying to save a few cents the whole cost of the telegram is lost. In trying to he brief, the Big Idea is lost. When you have made a correct size-up of your letter's "load," according to the method outlined in the first part, and know definitely the "complete load" the letter should carry, you should, when writing, be sure that the letter does actually carry the "load" selected for it. That is the only guide to the length of a letter. There will be times when your chart will point out "fea- tures" which the reader will understand without much help on your part. Such "features" may then be just touched upon when you write, and your letter may be short. More often, your chart or size-up will show you that there are "features" which cannot be easily understood by the reader. In such a case, write enough to be sure that jthe reader will understand you without effort even if you do lengthen your letter. It is safer to depend on a man reading your letter than to depend on him using his memory to get your idea. If you anticipate that a man won't read your letter if you make it too long, how can you expect him to take the trouble to think it if you make it too short.? Well, enough of that. Let's make this a resting point and review the points covered so far. Starting from the broad principle, so clearly expressed by Herbert Spencer, that the secret of a clear, easy-to-under- stand style lies in saving the reader's or listener's time and attention, we began with learning how to arrange our "fea- tures"— so that the reader could carry all of them in his mind without confusion, or without effort to remember them. We must not, of course, carry this principle to the extreme of thinking that a reader positively cannot grasp the idea unless the points are arranged just so — or that a letter is irretrievably ruined simply by error in arrangement. For v\e have already seen that with a correct selection of "fea- 205 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE THE ANTOINETTE COMPANY Chicago, 111. Miss Elva Shanahan, Chicago, 111. Dear Miss Shanahan: A woman's crowning glory is her hair, but she can never look her best unless it is attractively arranged. Thin, untidy locks make even the prettiest face unattractive, but no matter how plain the face, if it is framed in a soft, well dressed coiffure, it becomes instantly charming. We sent you our book "Hair and Beauty" some time ago and we hope that you have gone through it carefully and that you have found something in its pages that exactly suits your needs. There are very few women who do not find some sort of extra hair piece necessary, and we know that you too could dress your hair so much more becomingly if you had just the right additional hair piece. Perhaps you cannot quite decide on the particular number that you need. If you will write us, shall be glad to make suggestions. The transformation is becoming more and more popular. The enclosed leaflet will explain just what a transformation will do for you or for any woman who is conscious of thinning hair about the face, or who is too much occupied to be able to curl and properly arrange her hair every day. We shall be very glad to send you a sample of any of our goods because we want you to be the sole judge of the quality, style, and price. All we ask is that a business or a bank reference accompany your first order. We should like to have your patronage and we hope that we shall hear from you very soon. Very truly yours, THE ANTOINETTE COMPANY Panel 117 206 MAKING YOUR MEANING CLEAR tures," plainly and simply described from the point of view of the Big Idea, we can convey an idea or feeling quite graphi- cally even without paying much attention to order. But now we are seeking to perfect ourselves in expression, so that we not only make it possible for the reader to get our idea, but also make it easy and certain. Observe the letter on the opposite page. It starts with a feature easy for a woman to take hold of — the crowning glory of her head. The next thought — that her crowning glory is poor glory indeed if it be poorly arranged, or thin and untidy — ^is solidly placed. But does not the third thought — about the booklet — ^jar you a bit? Were you quite ready for it? I hardly think so. Let us take the fourth "feature" — "there are very few women . . . . " and place it third — as in the panel on the next page. Now read it. Doesn't it carry you along better? It is such finishing, workmanlike touches that we are now seek- ing. And sometimes they become more than mere finishing touches, too — often they are all-important in a very partic- ular letter. They may be just enough to weight the scale in your favor with a doubtful prospect, or any angry customer, or a recalcitrant debtor. Well, we have taken Spencer's fundamental principle and by putting it into the homely analogy of giving a person a stack of dishes to carry, we have worked out a formula that gives us a good rule to go by. It cannot help but prevent serious errors in arrangement. Of course, you may not use it on any but important letters. You may sometimes find you can score your point better by going quite contrary to our plan — in isolated cases. But when in doubt, test your letter by it. Some other arrange- ment may do, but one that will stand the test of the "stack of dishes" analogy is sure to be good. We have also learned to apply the same rule in order to avoid omissions of essential features. That is important. One of the most vexatious problems that the average man meets is that one of, is ray letter — or advertisement — too long? 207 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE THE ANTOINETTE COMPANY Chicago, 111. Miss Elva Shanahan, Chicago, 111. Dear Miss Shanahan: A woman's crowning glory is her hair, but she can never look her best unless it is attractively arranged. Thin, untidy locks make even the prettiest face unattractive, but no matter how plain the face, if it is framed in a soft, well dressed coiffure, it becomes instantly charming. There are very few women who do not find some sort of extra hair necessary, and we know that you too could dress your hair so much more becomingly if you had just the right additional hair piece. We sent you our book "Hair and Beauty" some time ago, and we hope that you have gone through it carefully and that you have found something in its pages that exactly suits your needs. Perhaps you cannot quite decide on the particular number that you need. If you will write us we shall be glad to make suggestions. The transformation is becoming more and more popular. The enclosed leaflet will explain just what a transformation will do for you or for any woman who is conscious of thinning hair about the face, or who is too much occupied to be able to curl and properly arrange her hair every day. We shall be very glad to send you a sample of any of our goods because we want you to be the sole judge of the quality, style, and price. All we ask is that a business or a bank reference accompany your first order. We should like to have your patronage and we hope that we shall hear from you very soon. Yours very truly, THE ANTOINETTE COMPANY Panel 118 208 MAKING YOUR MEANING CLEAR Or, is it too short to tell what I want it to tell? And now you have a way to settle it. The next time this question comes up, divide the Big Idea into its "features" and then see how those "features" fit on one another. If you don't like to sketch them out in blocks as I did— to sort of represent "dishes" — simply write them out on separate "dishes" ; that is, write them out on numbered slips of paper in the order in which they come in your letter. Then put them together and study to see if the first "feature" is one that your reader can readily grasp. Next determine whether your reader, having the first "feature" in mind, can easily grasp the next. Then see if, with two in mind, he can understand a third, and so on. This method will expose any "gaps"; for if any "feature" does not balance easily on the preceding ones, then you know there is a point in between them that ought to be added. On the other hand, if you detect a "feature" anywhere that does not advance the idea — one that does not take the reader a step farther toward grasping your whole idea — then you know it is unnecessary and probably can be cut out. (We will note an exception to this later when we come to studying the use of "repetition" to inspire enthusiasm or conviction or persuasion.) If you don't find such a "feature," you can rest easy in the knowledge that what you have written is not too long, which is a great relief on many occasions. Now observe the advertisement on the next page to prove the point. It could just as well be a letter, and, as a letter, it would probably have paid as tremendously as it did as an advertisement — in fact, everything in this chapter applies to an advertisement, or an editorial, or a speech, or a sales talk, as directly, as it does to a letter. Now, that advertisement is long. But when it is separated into its individual "features" every single one of them takes you a step nearer to the Big Idea. Sometimes there is an ap- parent repetition of what the article does — but if you study it closely you will see that each time a "feature" is repeated it has a vital work to do right at that place. 209 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE Madam— If YOU Had To Write This Ad, What Would You Say? Suppose you had told a good friend of yours something, and your good friend turned up her nose and said "It isn't so!" What would you say? Suppose you were the maker of SKITCH and had told me that SKITCH would save all rub- bing of clothes on wash day, would clean my clothes beautifully, and wouldn't hurt them a bit — and I had said "Oh, it's a fake — can't any- thing di> that!" What would yott do about it? That is my predicaraent- \Vhat I said about SKITCH is true. SKITCH really will save all the rubbing of clothes. SKITCH really does make your clothes as nice r.nd clean as snow without a bit of rubbing. oKITCI-J really won't hurt your clothes— SKITCH wouldn't, couldn't, positively can't !:urt the finest fabric ever woven. And yet you women of Aurora simply say "It i^n't sol" Can you beat it? What should I do about it? There you go week after week laboring over a washboard — rubbing, rubbing, rubbing, bend- ing, bending, bending. And if you would simply use three teaspoons of SKITCH to a boilerful of clothes, then go about your other work or sit and read the newspaper if you like, in twenty minutes your clothes would be ready to rinse and blue and hang on the line as lovely and white as the best washing you ever saw. But you won't believe me! You could get a 10-cent package of SKITCH from almost any grocer in Aurora and prove what I say, but you just won't do itl What on earth can I say to you? Why, woman, wom^in! A 10-cent package o( SKITCH will turn the drudgery of wash day clean out of your life, and more than that, it will save you three or four times its cost in the soap it saves! Listen, lady — it takes from one to three bats of soap just to rub out a wash, doesn't it? Well, all that soap you save every week when you use SKITCH, because with SKITCH you don't rub the clothes. And a 10-ccnt pack- age of SKITCH docs from four to seven wash- ings! My stars, madam, -why don't you try it and see? Instead of saying "it isn't so" — instead of believing some gossipy person who has told you "those things are fakes" — just you be indepen- dent and get a 10-cent package of SKITCH from your grocer today and settle this argument for yourself. Other women in other cities have proved SKITCH and know to their joy on every wash day that SKITCH docs just what 1 say. In my home town, where everybody knows me, nearly every woman who has a washing to do uses SKITCH! Why, I could fill this paper up with letters that thankful women have written mc in praise of SKITCH and in thankfulness for the work and soap it has saved them! Get a 10-cent package of SKITCH today from your grocer and see. Follow the directions absolutely. They're simple and easy. Don't try to improve on them. If you follow the directions on every 10-cent package of SKITCH you won't have to rub your clothes on a wash- board, and that is fact, pure fact Now you go and try it. You'd want mc to do as much for you if you made SKITCH. Go and do it and see for yourself — get a 10-cent package of SKITCH from any grocer, or send to me for free sample. Panel HO 210 MAKING YOUR MEANING CLEAR On the other hand take a look at the printer's letter on the next page. It is very short, but analyze it carefully and you'll see that nothing could be added to make it plainer. Do you see.'' You can't say arbitrarily that a letter or an advertisement should be short, or that it should be long. There is but one test. It must carry its "load" — and the "load" must de- termine how long or short the letter can be. Now we have passed two conditions which must be kept in mind in order to make our meaning clear as we write or talk. Now for the third and last. It is, I believe, the most interesting of all — that is, choice of words. Get a glimpse of this fascinating topic by reading the advertisement you found on the opposite page. After you get past that part which develops the "nega- tive idea" — ^to the point where the "connecting link" between negative and positive comes in with, "What should I do about it?" — note the homely, "wash day" sort of words used: "washboard," "rubbing," "bending," "lovely and white,"" "nicer," "drudgery," and so on. Note, too, the style of phrases which are used: "there you go"; "hang on the line"; "doing up your breakfast dishes"; "what on earth"; "clean out of your life"; "rub out a wash"; and so on. All of those words and phrases sound like washing. Why, they almost smell like wash day! Now turn back to the letter on page 193 and study the kind of words in that letter, from a bank to investors, and note these phrases: "vital needs," "favorable franchise," "con- servative debt," "stable," "obhgation," "maturity, "first lien," "demonstrated," "substantial and progressive com- munity," "yield." They, in turn, sound like bonds and investments and safety. But suppose the bank had used "everyday wants" in place of "vital needs," "sure thing" for "favorable franchise," "husky, live wire town," for "substantial, progressive com- munity." 211 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE KIER LETTER COMPANY DIRECT ADVERTISING, PRINTING Chicago, Illinois Mr. Carroll D. Murphy, Chicago, 111. Dear Sir: Did you ever ask your form letter printer to guarantee results? Would he? We will. You write the copy — send us the order for processing and if you don't secure a larger percentage from our letters than you ever received from form letters, we will make no charge for the work. Our processing is not only better to look at but it pays our customers in dollars and cents to use our letters. Write your copy and the contest is on. Yours truly, KIER LETTER COMPANY Panel 120 LONG Oft SHORT? The letters on pages 206 and 208 help to answer the question which bobs up at every conference, "Is the letter too long?" The letter on page 206, disguised of course, failed and narrowly escaped the waste-basket because it was too long. Wiser heads saved it. Rewritten, it puUed results. Why? Because as it was written it made a rocky road for the reader to travel. Revised, as on page 208, the reader buzzed along without fatigue and followed the writer's thought to favor- able action. That letter in Panel 120, above, represents the other side of the proposition. Here the Big Idea trimmed to the bone drives home its point in one quick hammer stroke. 212 MAKING YOUR MEANING CLEAR Or suppose, on the other hand, that the Skitch adver- tisement had used "laundering" for "washing," "more nicely" for "nicer," "rubbing the foreign matter from the clothing" for "rubbing out a wash." Probably the manufacturer of the washing compound is as dignified and educated a citizen as the banker, but it isn't what you are that should determine your language. It is what you are talking about and to whom you are talking. In the panel on the next page is a curious and a very forcible illustration of the point I am making. Read the letter of a hosiery manufacturer to his retail trade. It is a splendid example of clear expression — logical order of points and language that literally sounds like merchandising. But that is not the point just yet. Read the letter of a haber- dasher and tailor to his customers, on page 215. Now here is what I'm driving at. The dealer who sent out that letter is quite possibly one of the dealers who received the letter reproduced on page 214, as he is both haberdasher and tailor. The clean style of that manufacturer's letter was just suited to the retailer, a practical, clear-thinking business man. The style of words — "increased sales," "decreased expense," " quick turn " — ^were words he could grasp quickly and understand easily because they are the language of his craft. If the manufacturer's letter to him had been dressed in words like those he used in his own letter he probably would have thrown it in the waste-basket, or he might have lost all confidence in the house. That manufacturer's letter is a letter about merchandising, written to a merchant, and it talks merchandising talk and uses merchants' words. But the merchant's own letter is a letter about cheap flashy tailoring, written to a list of young, flashy, "sporty" men who try to be "swell" on a cheap plane — and it talks flashy-dress talk and uses a young "sport's" words. Certainly you now see how the person to whom you are writing and what you are writing about should determine your choice of words and phrases, instead of your own pref- erences or a set style. 213 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE HOLEPROOF HOSIERY CO. Milwaukee, Wis. Mr. Arthur Williams, Reedsville, Mo. Dear Mr. Williams: Because I believe you may not want to take the time to figure out just what increase you can make in your hosiery department by selling Holeproof Hosiery, I am attaching some figures showing the actual results obtained by a Holeproof dealer who kept close track of his sales of the jobbers' brands that he handled and his sales of Holeproof the year after. The figures show clearly the increased sales, decreased advertising expense, small investment, quick turn of stock, large average sales, and decreased incidental expenses that result from the sale of Holeproof. I believe they will show you also, if you study them carefully, that you ought to sell Holeproof. Now won't you think the matter over and in the meantime send me the enclosed card, which will bring you the fall and winter samples of this beautiful line of hosiery? The Christmas business this year is going to be a bigger thing with Holeproof dealers than ever before and that means a tremendous business, for the business these men have done in the past on Holeproof at that season has been enormous. There was never a more successful box on any proposition than the Holeproof box. It's a dandy. Let us send you a sample along with the hosiery samples. I'd like to see that card from you. Will you send it? Yours very truly, HOLEPROOF HOSIERY CO. Panel 121 214 MAKING YOUR MEANING CLEAR JAMES T. WILBUR Windsor Park, 111. Mr. James Jackson, Windsor Park, 111. Dear Friend: I'm no slinger of the big words. I'm just a tailor. Some folk criticize my plain, homely language, but I've got a plain, straight proposition — and here she cdmes at you: $22.50 — $22.50, man, don't muff it — for a made-to-measure, cut-to-fit, finished- to-please-you suit of clothes that you can't equal uptown this side of $40. There you are. If you're one of those chaps that can't believe a clothing ad unless it's dregsed up in frills of fine words, and hung with beads of high-brow language, you won't like that. But if you're just that far-sighted kind of fellow who can look naked facts in the eye without blushing, why look this way, for I'm going to raise the curtain. Look — If that suit that I cut to your measure, tailor to your taste for style, and finish to fit your every curve and bump, for $22.50 — if that suit doesn't fit you, doesn't suit you, doesn't simply tickle you stiff — if it isn't as racy and cocky and smart in its cut and as game and saucy in style as any suit you see this season; If when you put that suit on and look at yourself in it, feel yourself in it, walk in it, talk in it and shake yourself in it; If then, Mr. Man, you can't smile as you count me out $22.50 for it — then you just count your $22.50 right back in your own pocket and don't take the suit! Now there's my proposition stripped clean as the Gold Dust Twins. Will you take me up on it? Come on. Let me show you. I'm waiting. Yours truly, JAMES T. WILBUR Panel 122 215 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE On pages 217 and 218, is further proof. There you find letters of two different correspondence schools. The names have been disguised for obvious reasons and considerable "selling talk" has been omitted from each, as it is style of language, only, that interests us in them. Both are directed to about the same type of men, and both are on the same subject. Now, it is always difficult to imagine yourself as being someone else, but just try to put yourself in the place of a young shipping clerk or mechanic or clerk in a store, and then see which of these two letters would get right binder your skin most quickly. If you were a young, untrained youngster on low wages, couldn't you grasp the idea more quickly from talk about "jobs," "the boss," "taking chances," "get ready for it," "where you work," and so on, than you could from that talk about "the eternal question," "bettering condition," "the life that confronts you," "solving"? Of course you could. Now what I have said is not new. It has been known to writing men for years. My purpose is merely to emphasize the facts and to be sure you are making use of them. But to drive the point home, let us turn again to Spencer's Essay on Style and read what he says. Speaking of the superiority of short, Saxon English, he says in part: "The economy of the recipient's mental energy, into which are thus resolvable the several causes of the strength of Saxon English, may equally be traced in the superiority of specific overgeneric words. That concrete terms produce more vivid impressions than abstract ones, and should, when possible, be used instead, is a current maxim of composition. As Dr. Campbell says, 'The more general the terms are, the picture is the fainter; the more special they are, the brighter.' "We should avoid such a sentence as: 'In proportion as the manners, customs, and amusements of a nation are cruel and barbarous, the regu- lations of their penal code will be severe.' And in place of it we should write: 'In proportion as men delight in battles, bull fights, and combats of gladiators, will they punish by hanging, burning, and the rack.' "This superiority of specific expressions is clearly due to a saving of the effort required to translate words into thoughts. As we do not think in generals but in particulars— as, whenever any class of things is referred to, we represent it to ourselves by calling to mind individual members of it; it follows that when an abstract word is used, the hearer or reader has to choose from his stock of images, one or more, by which he may figure to himself the genius mentioned. In doing this, some delay must 216 MAKING YOUR MEANING CLEAR GENERAL CORRESPONDENCE SCHOOL New York City Mr. Oscar Koch, Houston. Texas. Dear Friend: Suppose a good job were open where you work. Could you fill it? Could you jump right in and make good, or would the boss have to pass you up because you lacked training? The man who is offered the big job is the man who has trained himself to hold it before it is offered to him. Don't take chances on being promoted, don't gamble on making good when your oppor- tunity comes. If you want a big job that carries responsibility and pays good money, get ready for it. Pick out the job you want in the work you like best. Then start right now to get, through the General Correspondence School, the training that will prepare you to hold it. Thousands of men have advanced through our training to the very jobs they wanted most. What these men have done you can do. All we ask is the chance to help you. No matter where you live, the General Correspondence School will come to you and train you in your spare time in your own home. Very truly yours, GENERAL CORRESPONDENCE SCHOOL Panel 123 217 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE arise — some force be expended; and if by employing a specific term, an appropriate image can be at once suggested, an economy is achieved, and a more vivid impression produced." Now how shall we apply this philosophy to our own work? First get clearly in mind that there are special words for every idea we have to write about or talk about. There are words that will fit best into your particular business and others that will fit best into mine; words that will suit your partic- ular customers best and other words that will suit mine best. Again I'll let another man speak for me. In an article in System, The Magazine of Business, W. C. Holman wrote: "Words are almost living things. There are weak words and strong words, pallid words and red-blooded words, words that are dull and words that smart and burn like vitriol. There are words as splendid as precious ACME CORRESPONDENCE SCHOOLS Chicago, 111. H. B. Charles, Kansas City, Mo. Dear Sir: What is the eternal question which stands up ajid looks you and every sincere man square in the eye every morning? How can I better my condition? That is the real life question which confronts you, now, and will haunt you every day till you solve it. Read carefully the enclosed circular and be con- vinced that the "New Profession" — Traffic Management — answers this important life question which you and every man must solve if he ever expects to have more each Monday morning, after pay day, than he had the week before. The Acme Correspondence School is so sure that it can assist men who can meet the requirements of member- ship that it gives a Guarantee Money Refund Bond , assuring you of return of every penny for membership, if not entirely satisfied after taking advantage of the Practical Plan to help you. ACME CORRESPONDENCE SCHOOLS Panel 12 4 MAKING YOUR MEANING CLEAR gems, words as smoldering beautiful as the eyes of a sullen harem fa- vorite. There are words as scorching as fire, words almost incandescent w'.th heat and light — words that seem to have dropped hissing upon the page that holds them. There are words as dreadful as murderers, words that boil and swirl with meaning as dark as the black broth of a witch's caldron. "And so in business there are all varieties of words for an advertisement writer's choosing. There are words as shallow as a pie pan and as mean- ingless as an idiot's chatter — words packed as tight with meaning as a machine-pressed cotton bale — words as evasive as eels — words as plain as old dog Tray — words as sweet and simple as a May morning. "No matter what product you wish to describe, there are image-making words that will make the product fairly live in the imagination. There are words for use in describing food that will make the mouth water. There are words as dainty and filmy as the lace on a woman's dress. There are words for every product — ^every idea." Mr. Holman not only spoke the truth, but also the very words he chose are good proofs of what he said. Just go back over them and see how your own feelings change as different words strike you — "words that soothe" make you really feel better, do they not? And "words that smart and burn like vitriol" are by their very sound painful. Read the letter on page 220 and you'll find the idea applied and see how quickly the very words "cracks," "scales," and "ugly splotches" make it easy for you to call up the vision the writer wants to get in your mind. The forcibleness of the negative idea in that letter suggests the criticism that more specific terms could also have been found to convey the positive idea, in place of such words as "long lasting," and "good looking." Finally, on page 221 see how specific is the letter to its subject of farming and to its farmer readers. Now I have proved to you that good writing depends largely on a choice of words. Spencer argues for it in general. Hol- man and the letters I have quoted prove it in particular. Before I show you an easy way of choosing words and making your letters carry a punch that they may not have carried before, let me give you another test. This time, in- stead of turning from literature to letters, we turn from letters to literature. We'll look over the first three verses of one of the greatest poems ever written by an American: 219 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE B. ARTHUR & COMPANY Cincinnati, Ohio Mr. W. T. Adams, Dayton, Ohio. Dear Sir: Important as the color scheme is, it is not the most important consideration in painting a house. Durability of the paint is of first importance, for, no matter how attractively a house is decorated, its charm vanishes if the paint on it cracks, scales, and falls off in ugly splotches. How to make sure of long-lasting, non- cracking, non-scaling paint which retains its good looks is easy when one knows the facts about paint and painting. It is to our advantage as manufacturers of Sunshine white lead, the basis of a long-lasting, good-looking paint, to put you in possession of these facts. Our experience has been that, once an owner or a prospective builder knows the truth, we are so much surer of another satisfied user of our product. The truth about paint and painting is told in simple, understandable language in a booklet that we publish, entitled "Painting — The Old Way and the New." This book makes clear what is and what is not paint. It also compares costs and illustrates inside and outside color treatments. A copy of the booklet is being reserved for you. We will mail it immediately upon receipt of the enclosed card indicating that you are interested in avoiding the common and costly paint pitfalls. Yours truly, B. ARTHUR & COMPANY Panel 125 SHORT WORDS— LONG RESULTS "Words are things," Lord Byron said, "and a small drop of ink, falling like dew upon a thought produces that which makes thousands, perhaps millions, think." In the letter on this page and the one on page 221, note the clever selection of words which make the reader draw mental pictures favorable to the Big Idea the letters present. That first paragraph in Panel 125, for example, forces a pic- ture of an unkept house to mind and creates unmistakably the suspense that leads the reader into the letter. And in Panel 126, see how farmer talks to farmer in a message which clamors for a reply. Shakespeare knew the lesson these letters bring us. He said, "A word is short and quick but works a long result; therefore, look well to words." 220 MAKING YOUR MEANING CLEAR CUTAWAY HARROW COMPANY Higgananum, Conn. Mr. D. S. Brown, Three Oaks, Mich. . Dear Sir: Your interests and ours are identical — ever think of that? It is to our interest that you should make bigger crops with better tillage and thus make more money. The most successful farmers are the biggest buyers of CUTAWAY (CLARK) tillage implements — not because they are cheap, but because they are the best. There is a CUTAWAY (CLARK) implement for every kind of tillage and a size to fit every possible requirement. Whether you are interested in a light one-horse harrow for garden work, or an implement for disking stubble, or a tool for orchard cultivation, or a disk harrow which will do the highest grade of work with a tractor, there is a CUTAWAY (CLARK) implement made for that particular purpose. l-he important feature of CUTAWAY (CLARK) disk harrows and plows were pointed out to you in our previous letter and in the catalog. Remember the importance of the CUTAWAY forged-edge disks of cutlery steel which stay sharp. Remember the dustproof oil- soaked hardwood bearings, the split lock bolts, the rigid main frame of the Double Action Harrow and other patented features which are essential for the best and most economical tillage and yet can be found only in the CUTAWAY (CLARK) line. Now won't you let us help you? If you have not already sent us the return postcard giving complete information as to your requirements, do so at once. It puts you under no obligation and it may mean dollars to you. Thousands of satisfied users through a period of 35 years prove the value of our tools. We want to. satisfy you also and cannot afford to do otherwise. Do not forget that CUTAWAY (CLARK) disk harrows and plows will, in nearly every case, save horses and at times a man, while at the same time doing superior work. Do not delay, therefore, in deciding on the tool which will fit your needs, and send your order. Very truly yours, THE CUTAWAY HARROW COMPANY Panel 125 221 TBtrSINESS CORRESPONDENCE Edgar Allan Poe's incomparable fancy, "The Bells." Even if you have read it before, and I'm sure most of you have, you'll enjoy it again in the light of what we have been studying. Look for words as you read. See the poem in part on the next page. Read the first verse. Poe studied for days to find words like "silver, merriment, tinkle, crystaline, tintinnabulation" and "jingHng sleigh bells." Read the second verse of the poem to find words like "mel- low, golden, happiness, harmony, balmy, molten-golden, gloats, swinging, ringing, chiming," that sound hke wedding bells. And, going on, find words that in themselves make one shiver and tremble with panic of fire, for in the description of fire bells we read words like, "clang and clash and roar, turbulency," and others. Every line carries flaming words. Splendid! Magnificent! More than that in this case, absolute proof that the Big Idea will be more easily and quickly grasped by others if we use words that instead of hindering, really help the reader or listener to absorb the impressions we want him to have. Go back to the Hugo description of the cannon broken loose at sea and read it again for words. When Hugo wrote this brilliant description he could take the time to search and search for the exact kind of French words to help express each kind of idea. When his translator was turning those descriptions into English, he, too, had the time to study the exact shades of Hugo's words and to search for corresponding ones like "rapid," when the movements of a billiard ball were to be called to a reader's mind; "rushes," to call up the thought of an arrow's movement; "assaults," for the action of a battering ram; the "bounds" of a panther; the "agility" of a mouse. But a man with a score of letters to write couldn't do that. When Poe wrote that most wonderful — that almost in- comparable of poems, "The Bells," he could study for days, if need be, to find the words he needed. Probably it would be MAKING YOUR MEANING CLEAR The Bells Hear the sledges with the bells. Silver bells) What a world of merriment their melody foreteUsI How they tinkle, tinkle, tinkle. In the icy air of night! While the stars, that oversprinkle All the heavens, seem to twinkle With a crystalline delight. Keeping time, time, time. In a sort of Ruruc rhyme. To the tintinnabulation that so musically wells From the bells, bells, bells, bells. Bells, bells, bells— From the jingling and the tinkling of the bells. Hear the mellow wedding bells, Golden bells! What a world of happiness their harmony foretells! Through the balmy air of night How they ring out their delight ' From the molten-golden notes. And all in tune, What a liquid ditty floats To the turtle-dove that listens, while she gioats On the moon ! Oh, from out the sounding cells, What a gush of euphony voluminously wells! How it swells! How it dwells On the Future! how it tells Of the rapture that impels To the swinging and the ringing Of the bells, bells, bells. Of the bells, bells, bells, bells. Bells, bells, bells — To the rhyming and the chiming of the bells' & Hear the loud alarum bells. Brazen bells! What a tale of terror, now, their turbulency tells! In the startled ear of night How they scream out their affright! Too much horrified to speak. They can only shriek, shriek, Out of tune. In a clamorous appealing to the mercy of the fire. In a mad expostulation with the deaf and frantic fire, Leaping higher, higher, higher. With a desperate desire. And a resolute endeavor Now — now to sit or never. By the side of the pale-faced moon. Oh, the bells, bells, bells! What a tale their terror tells Of Despair! How they clang, and clash, and roar! What 3 horror they outpour On the bosom of the palpitating air • Yet the ear it fully knows. By the twanging And the clanging. How the danger ebbs and flows; Yet the ear distinctly tells. In the jangling And the wrangling. How the danger sinks and swells,— By the sinking or the swelling in the anger of the bells. Of the bells. Of the bells, bells, bells, bells. Bells, bills, bells — In the clamor and the clangor of the bells' -EDGAJt ALLAN POE Panel 127 223 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE more correct to say that Poe's genius for words rather than for study and search, developed this almost sublime dis- crimination in their use, although it seems probable that it was a combination of genius and study. But a man cannot write poems while the stenographer is waiting. So how can we, who are not gifted with the genius of a Poe or a Hugo, and not permitted the unlimited time to study dictionaries and synonyms every time we have a letter to write, or an advertisement to prepare, or a talk to make — ^how can we ordinary business 'peop'e make a choice in our words sufficient at least to help us land an order or to satisfy a complaint, or to collect a bill, or to secure a concession, or to win backing for our opinions? Why in this simple way. In the organization of modern business, most of us, like actors in a play, are cast in certain characters. We have a certain number of matters to talk about, or write about, and a certain kind of people to whom we must talk or write. The man over there sells machinery: his letters are about mechanical things: they are sent to men in a certain kind of business, men who know as much about machinery as he does. The man over here sells a particular class of merchandise to one particular class of dealers. Another man sells one line of goods — like groceries — to one class of consumers — say the working class of his neighborhood. And still another is a credit man: handles a certain type of credits with a certain class of buyers. And so it goes. Each one of us has a definite position in a definite field. Now each field has its own language. Farmers "crop their fields," "pasture their stock," "harrow" and "fallow" and "turn under." Their cattle "freshen," their seeds "catch." The merchant "turns his stock," "buys futures." "closes out," "takes his discounts," "gets better datings." The manu- facturer "installs," "charges off," "figures overhead," "cleans up." The financial man handles "paper," distinguishes between "liquid" and "fixed." Those are but a few illustrations of the way language of the craft creeps into every business or occupation. 224 MAKING YOUR MEANING CLEAR Now no man would be considered a master of his business if he had not mastered its trade terms. So why not go farther? Why not master, for your particular article in your trade, the terms that will best express its particular qualities to the particular kind of people you sell? If you are selling shock absorbers for automobiles, why not take the trouble to gather and file all the words that sound like shock — shake, shiver, bump, thud, jar, jolt, crack, bang, and so on. Then all the words that sound like the opposite of shock — smother, pillow, soft, ease, resilient, undulation, billowy, smooth. In short, whatever your busi- ness, there are words for your business — ^for your article — ^for your article's points of superiority — ^for your kind of custom- ers. There are doubtless dozens, possibly hundreds of words that you could pick and choose from, so that you could always use genuinely expressive words without tying your- self down too much — if you only had them handy. A thesaurus, a book of synonyms, or even a dictionary, of course have the words in them, but they leave you with the work of selecting from those that express the feeling you want, those that will be best understood by your readers. So the best thing to do is build up a little dictionary of your own, similar to the one illustrated on the next page. Any stationer can supply you with the materials for it. All you need is a pasteboard card index file, half a pack- age of white cards and half a dozen each blue and salmon guides. Use the blue guides for listing Big Ideas for your product, the salmon guides for a list of "features" of each idea, and the white cards for words and terms which you find useful in everyday correspondence. First analyze the type of letters that you have to write most and then settle on the principal ideas that you have to ex- press in them. With what you have already learned from the first three chapters you ought to be able to make a fair start. For instance, when a man comes to work for the A. W. Shaw Company, he soon learns, if he is put in the circulation department, that he most frequently uses ideas on efficiency, 225 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE j«5^@^^n MONADNOCK BLOCK CHICAGO Bllia Vhlte Cliica«o, IJ.I. A^ytar's Suhcripiion btginning with Leoober, Ve tatd off lA Dsoonber aad bars It 1b SBptonbar. $2.00 My^^^^^ WORD FILE Panel 128 £26 MAKING YOUR MEANING CLEAR cost cutting, sales producing, value of system, and progressive- ness in business. And those ideas are the first ones he puts on his blue guide cards. On the other hand, if you were in charge of the correspondence with dealers in a hosiery manu- facturing plant, you would probably start your blue guides with such ideas as profit to the dealer and value of your magazine advertising. In other words, to use this file, sort the ideas that you find you most frequently have to convey, and make out a blue guide card for each one — like the illustration on the opposite page. If you find that you make use of negative ideas, get them down on guides also. You may have to start with only one or two. But before long you will think of others. Now take each one of the ideas, and work out, in a general and rough way, the features that describe each one; and for each "feature" use a salmon- colored guide. Then for each "feature" allot a few of the white cards. On those white cards set down every really good word you know, that by its sound, or its association, or its appearance in type, calls up the kind of thought that will help the reader to hold the idea. And set down every phrase or simile or metaphor that has a like effect. (When you learn the knack of this file you'll find often that one word like "rocking chair" for shock absorbers will suggest an entire letter). As you write words on your cards, remember that it is better not to classify the words or phrases, but to put them down one after another just as you happen to run across them, for then when you go searching for an adjective you will, maybe, see a verb that comes in handy, or pick out a whole phrase that just hits the spot — or suggests another one. The white card in the illustration shows the method of entering words. You may have to start with only a few words for each "feature." But if you keep your eyes open you will soon build up an extensive Word File. You can find everywhere loords and 'phrases that just suit the "features" of the ideas you use most. You'll find them in 227 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE other people's letters or advertising, in newspapers, in books, in magazines, in poetry. You'll get them from public speakers, from salesmen, and from the Bible. The Bible is the greatest piece of literature in the world. Remember it has convinced more people, persuaded more people, won the confidence of more people, and got more people to act than all the sales letters, collection letters, advertisements, booklets, catalogs, editorials, campaign speeches, and sales- men the world has ever produced. And so its words, its phrases, and its construction can give many an inspiration for your Word File. In making up your file be sure to remem- ber your readers. Don't fill the cards with words or phrases that only mean much to you — study, before you accept them for your file, how much they will mean to your reader. Suppose the haberdasher and tailor to whom the hosiery manufacturer wrote in business language as in the letter on page 214 had written their prospects in that language! Such letters would have surely failed. Compare the wording of the two "collection reminders" on the statements at the top of page 226. The language of the golf magazine would be ridiculous if used by the publisher of business books, but isn't it appropriate for golfers when writing to them about a golfer's magazine? Learn your 'people's habits of speech! In addition to your other efforts, make it a point to read all the letters you can that your customers or prospects write. Observe how they talk about your product — the phrases they use, the words that seem to come most naturally to them. Then try to write to them according to their mental needs as they have voiced them and not according to the way you want other people to write to you. SUMMARY WO big points in writing good letters have been brought to light in this chapter. Both of them, when applied, al- low the dullest prospect to get a firm grasp on the idea and a clear understanding of your letter. The first point is that T MAKING YOUR MEANING CLEAR "features" of the idea should be arranged in logical order, the "feature" easiest to understand first and others stacked on it in the sequence which will make them readily under- stood. The second point is that choice of words is one of the greatest factors in good letter writing. Edgar Allan Poe and Victor Hugo on one hand, and letters and advertisements on the other, were quoted to prove that the use of the right word is one of the greatest helps in effective writing. Then we found that each trade and craft has its own vocabulary. Finally, we learned how to develop a vocabulary that will enable us to use words in our letters that will mean to a reader exactly what we meant when we wrote them; just as surely as red means danger or a finger on the lips means "be silent." As we completed this chapter, we found that we were rapidly getting away from prosy, matter-of-fact methods and were get- ting closer and closer to methods which make the reader act as we want him to. Analyzing the "load" of a letter was the first step we took in this direction, finding the Big Idea and selecting its "features' was another and the method of ap- proach was the third. The fourth step we learned in this chap- ter, and so we are ready for the fifth: making letters sincere. In the fifth chapter, out of 5,000 or more letters collected from various sources all over America, I have selected the best of those which carry conviction by their sincerity. They are reproduced with explanations that show what elements of character make people sincere and confidence-inspiring. And then by means of examples, I have shown you how to put those elements in written words so that your letters will have the same quality. You'll find no extracts from great writers in the next chapter, but you will find a score of sample letters in which, the fundamentals of sincerity are so plain that any one of you can immediately apply them to letters of your own. In this fifth chapter, also, I dwell on the correct use of the so- called "you" element in letters. In explaining it, new light is thrown on this oft-discussed subject, and we find why the "you" element fails in its purpose when it is used carelessly. 229 PROBLEM SECTION IV A LMOST every practical-minded business man with whom ^^■^ I have discussed the points brought out in the fourth chapter, has at first doubted the apphcation of them to everyday business. And so I have no doubt that you, too, are thinking that we are getting overmuch into "fine writing"; that poetry and French novehsts are a bit out of place in the study of letters to sell goods, collect money, adjust complaints and so on. But I can convince you that I'm right just as I have convinced others. Here goes. I had an experience once with a restaurant man that is so typical of results which can be gained by following the in- structions in the fourth chapter and which had results so astounding, that I will tell it to you to prove my principle. The simple selling letter I wrote brought 1S2 customers out of a list of 385 names into the restaurant the very next day. In final results it almost doubled the restaurant man's business. This experience I believe is so applicable to an automobile tire, a bank, a farm implement, a retail store, a food, a ser- vice, or a letter proposition of any kind, that I am going to take you through it in detail, pretending that you are the restaui'ant man. Now, here is where you stand: You have a restaurant in a middle west city. It feeds about 250 people a day, but it has a capacity of 400 to 500 a day. You have compiled a list of about 400 professional men in the downtown district, , lawyers, doctors, dentists, architects and the like. You had coupons printed, each good for 10 cents on a luncheon check, and mailed them to your list of men, but they didn't come in with the coupons. You are up against it. 230 MAKING YOUR MEANING CLEAR Here is where I come in, "I" meaning anyone who will try applying to a 'practical business what we are learning from this book. First I size up the "load" the letter must carry, on the chart we learned to use in the first part. I find from my chart that I must make those men want what the coupon will give them. But such men don't value a dime highly enough to make them do much to earn one. Your past results proved that to you. So I must make them want, not the dime, but what the dime stands for at your restaurant. What does a dime stand for at your restaurant.'' A cup of tea you tell me, a sandwich, a piece of pie, and so on. Which one of these 10-cent articles are you particularly proud of — which one do you think would be the biggest, best dime's worth? Well, you tell me, you have the best pie maker in town. Now don't let the fact that we are talking about a restau- rant bore you. I could put a "savings bank," or "6-cylinder car" in place of restaurant, and dig into its sales possibilities in exactly the same way. We are in search of a Big Idea, and this method of search can be applied to any letter proposition. "So you have the best pie maker in town, have you.'' Now, we're coming to an idea. What makes you think he is the best?" It isn't a "he," you tell me, but a woman — Anna, by name — and if I'd ever eaten one of her pies — say, a lemon pie — I'd know why she's the best. So I say — for every letter you want a big, concrete, central idea that will stick in the reader's mind, and here you have one: "the coupon is good, not for 10 cents, which is but a trifle, but for a piece of Anna's lemon pie— the best lemon pie any man ever tasted." Do you follow me? That's the exact way, with only the superfluous conversation left out, in which the Big Idea of a wonderfully successful letter was worked out. And it's the way to work out the Big Idea for any letter or any other writ- ten work so far as that goes. 231 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE For instance, how do you suppose the Big Idea back of the Prince Albert Tobacco advertising was worked out? I hap- pen to know. I had a chance to work it out myself — ^and failed. The tobacco was submitted to a number of advertis- ing men — I was among them — with a request to work out an idea for advertising it. I was young and conceited and never thought of getting a big concrete idea for an advertisement or a letter. I smoked some of the tobacco, read up clippings of other tobacco advertising and then wrote copy. It was returned with thanks — it was just "copy." But another man started after it, as I later learned to start after the restaurant man. "Why do you think men should buy this tobacco?" he asked the manufacturer. "Because it's mild," the manufacturer replied, "it's pure, it doesn't bite the tongue." "Why doesn't it bite the tongue?" broke in the advertising man. "Well, we have a special process — " and the Big Idea of "Prince Albert, the National Joy Smoke," saw the light. In practically that way the big "30% oversize" idea of Goodyear tire advertising of a few years ago was born. Similarly the big, "try this treatment on your face" idea in Woodbury's soap advertising came into being. The "Valve- in-head" idea in Buick car advertising of a year or two ago was developed in the same manner. So was the "brown bottle" idea in Schlitz beer advertising of a few years ago. But we must remember that we are writing a pie letter, so let's get back to the subject of what Anna can do. We dug up the Big Idea for your restaurant letter — "a coupon good for a piece of Anna's lemon pie." Anna's pie is individual — it's yours, just like the "patented process" which is Prince Albert Tobacco's own individual property. So you say, "Go ahead and write a good letter on it." But I hesitate. Will those 400 professional men take an interest in Anna's pie or any lemon pie? No. They won't be thinking about things to eat when they get the letter. I must create a visionary idea for them — the vision of how good MAKING YOUR MEANING CLEAR Anna's lemon pie is and how poor other pies are by compari- son with hers. You say, "That's good; now let's see you write a letter — good and hot." But what are the "features" of the Big Idea which is, "How good that lemon pie is"? I have a pie baked and eat it and see. It tastes "fine." What makes it taste "fine".? I analyze carefully, and con- clude that the "features" of its taste are: The tart lemon flavor The sweetness and flufliness of the meringue The delicious coming together of the sweet and sour The flaky crust The delightful sensation to the palate. "All right," you say, "now go ahead and write your letter." But wait. I've got to find which of these features will be easiest for the reader to grasp and appreciate. "Oh, come now," you say, "don't get too much fine-spun theory into this — ^get busy." "You think it's fine-spun theory, do you? Well, suppose you were one of those doctors, lawyers, or architects and you got a letter that started by telling about a pie's tart lemon flavor. Would you appreciate what that means? Suppose the letter started by telling you of the sweet meringue. Would it make your appetite wake up? Now be honest and admit that to an ordinary man lately come from breakfast and not thinking of eating or enjoying food, the thought of tart lemons by itself is not pleasant, and the thought of sweet meringue by itself is a bit sickish." What must I do? Why, I'll begin by getting a man's thoughts tuned up to eating. When he's thinking of eating, he can appreciate pie. When he is thinking of pie, he can appreciate the details of the pie — meringue, lemon flavor, the blending of sweet and sour, the crust, just as Victor Hugo — "We're not writing one of Hugo's novels," you say, "but I suppose it's reasonable to take the points up in the right order. Now, go ahead and write." 233 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE Again I pause. I have a big job ahead in making those men value a piece of Anna's lemon pie so highly that they'll prize the little 10-cent coupon that entitles them to it. So I must choose words that help along the good-to-eat thought. "Cut out the fancy words and write plain English," you say. "But words have such a big effect," I reply, "take Poe's poem — " "I don't want any poetry in my business — my customers don't want poetry — they want food. You're giving me a lot of bosh." The conversation I have detailed is almost exactly what occurred in the incident I mentioned, but I won't stretch out the details any farther. I patiently made the restaurant man understand that I didn't intend to write like the great mas- ters of writing, but that I was only trying to learn from them. I got him to read Lamb's Essay on Roast Pig so as to see for himself how things could be made really to sound good to eat by the right sort of words. Finally he understood and then we went to work to express our ideas. "What a pleasure to top off a good luncheon with a piece of Anna's lemon pie I" Our first "feature," we decided, was to be the sensation to the palate of Anna's lemon pie, but as we were to lead into it by giving the reader an easy thought to grasp in the shape of eating "atmosphere," we began: It was not hard to settle on that — in fact the restaurant man himself suggested it. Then to describe our "feature" of "sensation to the palate" we wrote: "A mouthful of that pie is just a mouthful of de- lightful tastes." But do you see how rather unpalatable that sounds.'' "Mouthful" sounds greedy, not fine and delicate. We thought of "bite," but bite made it appear that the pie was hard and tough. So we didn't use either, but decided on "When the lips and tongue close on a piece of that pie — " 234 MAKING YOUR MEANING CLEAR What does that suggest to you? It suggested to me the thought of all the good tastes being squashed out in a gush of delightful sensations. "Squashing" didn't sound appetiz- ing, however, but it led me to think of "a fountain of delight- ful tastes," and we wrote: "When the lips and tongue close on a piece of that pie it's like a little gushing fountain in yodr mouth, deluging your palate with delightful tastes." Sounds pretty good to eat, doesn't it? Then we took up the second "feature" — ^the meringue. Thought by thought, almost word by word, we built up the ex- pression of the visionary idea of how good that lemon pie was, until we were sure it would make a man's mouth water and make him think our little 10-cent coupon was worth some- thing much more than merely 10 cents. Then we took up the positive idea — the coupon good for a piece of Anna's lemon pie. How did we convey it? What are its "features"? We de- cided they were: What the coupon is worth How to use it Why it is given. At once we were confronted with: which of these "features" will be easiest for the reader to grasp? If we tell him just what it is worth, he may be contemptuous — -10 cents is so small. He may be offended and ask, "why send me these dime coupons?" Obviously that "Why" "feature" was the best one to start his grasp of the idea, because it followed so naturally on the visionary idea. That would lead to the worth of the coupon, and that lead to how to reaUze on it. So we began: "I'd like to have you just taste a piece of that pie — so much so that if you'll use the enclosed coupon, it won't cost you a cent. Just come in for lunch today and present the coupon as payment for the dessert." But now, does that language fittingly carry out the Big Idea? No. The idea, you remember, is not that a 10-cent 235 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE coupon is much ordinarily, but when it means a piece of Anna's lemon pie, it's a great deal. So that the words would give that impression of good-natured challenge — we changed them to this : "How I'd like to see you tasting your first piece of that pie I By George, I'll pay for it, if you'll come in today — have your luncheon and top off with a piece of Anna's leinon pie, then simply hand in the enclosed coupon with your check in payment for the dessert . " Do you see how the freedom of "How I'd like," "By George," and "simply hand in," make the whole thing sound less like a "free 10-cent coupon," and more like a gentleman's good-natured challenge? Well, that was the way we built up the expression of our ideas. So you see you must not look at what we can learn from the great masters of description and the artists in words as purely "literary." The best literature is that which does not impress us at the time as literature, but impresses us only with the idea. And that is what we loant for a good busi- ness letter. What was done in that letter for the idea of eating that lemon pie, and the idea of using the coupon, can be done in exactly the same way for the idea of eating anything, of using a machine, wearing a garment, trading at a certain store, owning an insurance policy, driving a car, doing business at a certain bank, pardoning an error, paying an overdue bill. There is always a Big Idea to work up if you will dig into the proposition and find it. There is always an order of "features" that will be clearest to understand if you will compare them, watch them and test them. There is always the right kind of simple words to help the idea if you will take pains with them. Pure genius has written many successful letters. But taking pains has written many, many more. In fact, although I used to misunderstand what was meant, I am beginning to believe that the old saying, "Genius is the capacity for taking infinite pains," may be the truth after all. But our restaurant letter was not finished when we had the idea expressed. It was too impersonal. It lacked sincerity. 236 MAKING YOUR MEANING CLEAR We will learn in the next chapter why a matter-of-fact descrip- tion of something never convinces us as much as a descrip- tion that has personahty in it. Below you'll find the first draft of the letter, as we have now seen it composed. Dear Sir: Vfhat a pleasure to top off a good luncheon with a piece of Anna's lemon pie! When the lips and tongue close on a piece of that pie it's like a little gushing fountain, deluging the palate with delightful tastes. First the frosting of cool, snowy, vaporous sweetness. Then quick the refreshing, lemony tartness. Then sweetness and tartness get crushed in together and Pouf ! they join and blend in an entirely new taste that gradually melts away somewhere down your throat and only a soft happy memory remains — until the next mouthful. Then the crust — when you put it into your mouth it seems as though it had only been making believe to be crust after all. For where is it? It crumbles and flakes away and gives itself up to the rest of the pie like a sacrifice, to help make one grand, complete taste of paradise for you. How I'd like to see you tasting your first piece of that pie! By George! I'll pay for it if you'll come in today — have your luncheon and top off with a piece of Anna's lemon pie — then simply hand in the enclosed cou- pon with your lunch check, as payment for the dessert. In the next problem section we will take up the above letter again and see how personality and sincerity were injected into it. Then in the sixth problem section we will go farther and see how persuasion — the clincher that made 122 out of the 385 men who received the letter, actually come to that restaurant for lunch the next day and use the coupon — was incorporated in it. Then you will have seen the complete, inside construction of a letter that almost doubled the business of the restaurant — in- creasing the permanent net profits by more than $75 a week, simply by the proper use of the Big Idea and the application of the principles of clearness, sincerity, and persuasion. Now let me help you apply my idea to your own business. In place of the list of prospects for that restaurant, I want you to substitute your list of prospects. In place of the 237 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE Restaurant, put your business. In place of the lemon pie, put the biggest, strongest selling idea of your proposition. Then work out the expression of that idea on the same methodical basis. Compare it with the idea in the best letter you can write by the old "inspiration" way of working and see which is best. The difference, I promise, will be so marked that anyone can see it. Then just for further practise, try this: Problem 1 If you were a mail order manufacturer of baby carriages and were going to write a letter to mothers of new-born babies, and had these "features" for your Big Idea: We sell direct, thereby saving you middlemen's profits. Being manufacturers, we offer you a wider variety of styles and finish to choose from than a dealer can offer. We have been making baby carriages for 20 years and have learned how to cover all the little points of comfort and convenience that mothers like. The pride we take in devoting ourselves exclusively to the making of good baby carriages. The selection of the carriage your baby is to ride in is next in importance only to baby's food and clothes. In what order would you put these "features"? Write such a letter complete and see how close you come to choosing the same kind of words for appealing to a mother's love and pride in her child, as were used in a successful letter that will be reproduced in the fifth chapter. File your letter in your Material File, for you will use it again. Problem 2 Here is another nut for you to crack. Suppose that you had been appointed chairman of the mission this government sent to Russia after the revolution in that country, and were going to prepare the address to the Russians that Mr. Elihu Root made. Suppose the "features" of your address were to be those of Mr. Root's masterly speech, namely: 238 MAKING YOUR MEANING CLEAR America's desire to help the Russian people The object of the mission Our joy in Russia's new freedom Our love of liberty in all lands Our faith in democracy. What order would you have selected for those points? Think it over carefully, put them down, and file them, for in the next chapter I will reproduce part of the address and show the order in which Mr. Root approached them. This may seem like an odd problem to put before you, but you will see as you go along that you can app'y what you are learning to all forms of public expression of ideas. With the length of time we have taken for constructing the restaurant idea and the amount of study you should put in it, you have enough to do and I'll not offer more problems in this section. But now let me see how you came out on the previous prob- lem section work. Your first job was to construct a letter for the "Ajax" self-heating iron, from the diagram I gave you in the preceding problem section, and which you filed in your Material File. Take it from your file and then turn to page 192 where you will find the original "Ajax" letter. Refer to letter and diagram (Panel 102) as you read. The close of the letter has been omitted as it makes a special premium prop- osition which has no connection with this problem section. You can learn considerable from a careful comparison of your own letter with this one, as it is a good example of a well huilt, successful puller of results. With the diagram to refer to, you can see the points the writer made are clear, so that detailed comment is not necessary. I don't mean to say that study of the letter and diagram is not necessary for you, because it is. Another problem of the last problem section was to con- struct a strong "connecting link" between the visionary and positive ideas of a retail clothier's letter. Take your memo- randum from your Material File. Notice that the connecting link should be something like this: BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE Usually the big city dealers snap them up like lightning. But this year West, Winsor & Mack's salesman for this territory picked out for me the very cream of these suits. It seemed to me at first that I could have put a stronger Knk in between the two sections, but probably if I had writ- ten the letter I wouldn't have thought so. It often happens that when a letter is all completed, by going back and sepa- rating it into its parts, we can often rewrite one part of it much better than we had it originally. I have rebuilt and restrengthened many letters in just that way. If you are particularly interested in this problem you'll find the complete letter on page 196. If you are not especi- ally interested, let's continue by looking over the collection letter you were to construct for the conditions outlined in the preceding problem section. How does your letter com- pare with the real one as shown on page 201? This letter was used by a big collection agency, and for this particular type — threatening, yet giving the debtor one more opening to save his face — is a strong one. Did you con- struct one equally strong? Check yourself up very carefully, for it can teach you a great deal as to just how far you can go with a threat and still be within the law. Next, from your Material File take your chart, diagrams, and the letter you built up for the washing compound proposi- tion outlined in the preceding problem section. First take up your chart: If you analyzed the conditions carefully — ^remember it was assumed that you had circular- ized your prospects with a complete campaign that had brought the business in other places, but had failed with it in this case — ^you should have sketched the "load" your letter had to carry about like this: To make them realize that it is foolish not to try Skitch, at least, and to see that it really does save all the rubbing and hard work of wash day, really does make the clothes clean, and really won't hurt them — when women in other cities have used it so successfully. 240 MAKING YOUR MEANING CLEAR Your answer to the question "Will they feel a self-interest in receiving a letter from me?" should be "No," We are not yet to touch the method of meeting this condition, however. Simply be sure that you have answered the question my way. The Big Idea, in view of the letter's load, should be some- thing like this : It is foolish not to find out if Skitch will do all these things — save the rubbing, save the hard work, not hurt the clothes. But, of course, since the prospects have had a complete campaign already on the subject, you should have seen that they are indifferent or opposed to considering the proposition, and therefore should have arranged for approaching them through a Negative or Visionary Idea. You may have hit on a Visionary Idea different from the one I used, one equally good or even better. If so, you can congratulate yourself. Compare yours with this one and see if you got this thought in it: Suppose I had done to you what you are doing to me — heard your claims and then just said "They aren't so," with- out making an effort to find out. The balance of your chart we won't stop to consider now, for it comes up in later chapters. But compare now your actual letter with the original material which you will find on page 210. Of course, the illustration on page 210 is an advertisement; but, as explained in the fourth chapter, it might just as well have been a letter as far as its principle is concerned. If what you wrote doesn't now seem to be as attractive and gripping as this advertisement that completely met the con- ditions outlined and, with four subsequent advertisements, turned that city into a profitable market for the advertiser, then try applying the method outlined in the fourth chapter on the problem I gave you and see how much you can improve your copy. The last bit of work you were given in the previous prob- lem section was to take the letter for the custom shirt maker 241 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE and add to it whatever paragraphs would be necessary to make it an article for use on a list of men who wore only ready-made shirts. I expected you to see at once that in such a case the read- ers could be assumed to be indifferent or opposed to the idea of paying the extra cost of custom-made shirts — and hence a Visionary or Negative Approach would be needed in order to make them see things your way. I went at it this way : If those men don't believe in custom- made shirts now, then we ought to make them see themselves dressed in poorly fitting shirts — if they are stout, then make them imagine the ridiculous appearance of the commonest misfit large men meet; if they are slim then make them see the funny appearance of a man in a shirt too big for him. Here is the way the problem worked out for me: You take a man who is big-muscled or corpulent, and nine times out of ten when he sits down his stomach will stretch a ready-made shirt until it gaps in front, show- ing his undershirt, or worse. Ready-made shirts are not made with room enough for him. Then, with a slim man, chances are there's too much goods, and when he sits, his shirt billows out in front like one of those pannier effects on a woman's skirt. You've seen how funny men with such shirts look, haven't you? And how sloppy a man looks when his shirt is too broad across the shoulders for him — but how skimped and pinched he looks and feels when it isn't broad enough. Sometimes a man's collar makes two homely furrows running V-shaped across his chest. And yet SOME MEN STILL THINK custom-made shirts don't pay! Then, for the Connecting Link, I wrote this: If you have a figure like a fashion plate which an> shirt will fit, maybe custom shirts don't pay. Or if you don't get good custom-made shirts, maybe they don't pay. But — Then in the seventh problem section we shall add a strong "closer" for it. 242 PART V HOW TO MAKE YOUR LETTER SINCERE CHAPTER V HOW TO MAKE YOUR LETTER SINCERE A CRITIC once said to me, "Why leave the matter of sincerity till the fifth chapter in your book? The necessity for it should be taught from the very start." He misunderstood. It is not the moral attribute of being sincere in what you say, that we are to deal with in this chapter. That is part of honest men's characters. It is the faculty of impressing your sincerity upon your readers that we now seek. And that's important, for some people who are as honest and sincere as the day is long, and whose honesty and sincerity cannot be mistaken for an instant when they talk to you man to man, seem utterly unable to convey the same impression when they put their thoughts on paper, or address an audience. A certain* formality creeps into their words — a stiffness amounting sometimes almost to coldness. So, having learned in previous chapters how to select the "load" of a letter; how to choose the Big Idea and how to present it, our aim now is to learn the knack of saying what we have to say in such a way that a reader, or individual listener, whichever he may be, will get the same impression of frankness and truthfulness that he would if he were look- ing straight into our eyes. Now, when a man talking to us face to face wins our complete confidence in his assertions, we generally say after- ward, "His frankness won us over." And when we see a man win confidence and make friends on all sides, we usually say, "He has a frank, open, friendly personality." Did you ever stop to analyze the source of that impression of frankness, friendliness, and openness? Most of us have. 245 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE Those of us who have not, need not make a very deep search to find it. I simply mention it to show that just as we can find exactly what makes us feel that this or that man is frank and honest, so we can get that effect in our letters, and make our readers think and feel that our letters are frank and honest. First let us agree on the source of the impression of friend 'i- ness and sincerity that some people give us. Unquestionably it comes from their manner of acting and speaking. But when we study a bit deeper we find something else. We find that the man to whom we quickly extend our friendship and in whom we quickly place complete confidence, is almost invariably a man with whom we have points of mutual agree- ment or sympathy. For instance, if you hke dogs probably you don't distrust every man who does not like them, but you do warm up to a stranger more quickly when you find he, too, is a dog lover. Looking at the matter from another point of view: laboring men, politicians find, are more quickly interested in a cause by a speaker who is identified with labor, like Samuel Gompers, than by a speaker who comes from the capitalist class. Bankers give audience more readily to a man who shows he knows banking. We even find shrewd sales managers some- times utilizing Irish salesmen for Irish trade, Jews for the Jewish districts; Italians, Polish, Scandinavian, or other nationalities, for the trade in communities settled by people of their respective tongues. Now, it is not because Jews consider all Jews more truthful, or farmers consider all farmers more honest, or dog lovers believe truth goes only with a love for dogs, or laboring men trust other laboring men more implicitly, that the avenue of approach spoken of is generally followed. It is not that any class trusts its own class more than others. It is because, in the course of their relations, a point of mutual sympathy or understanding is more likely to develop. When two people begin to find sympathies or interests in common, they begin to like each other, and if they like each other they usually trust each other. 246 HOW TO CONVEY SINCERITY You see, two minds or 'personalities coming in contact with each other are just hke two cog wheels in a machine. The cogs are their sympathies. If those sympathies, or cogs, match each other, then the meeting is enjoyable and interesting, and creates confidence. If you like dogs and horses and flowers and outdoor life, while the man you meet has no taste for them at all, but likes dancing, cards, society, and midnight frolics — -you can see that when you come in con- tact with each other: neither of you will move the other to any interest or liking. (What appear to be contradictions to this rule are not in fact contradictions. When two people of opposite tastes are close friends, the opposite tastes are dominant, but down in the hearts of each person will be found a secret interest in the other's tastes.) But if you have even one taste in common, though the rest be contrary, that one mutual interest is often enough to carry you over the gap of the non-mutual ones. Salesmen use this principle of psychology right along — knowingly and unknowingly. They seek to find " a point of contact" with the prospect that will create sufficient mutual interest to keep the wheels of personal relationship going. They sometimes agree, against their own inclinations, with an opinion of a customer in order to gain strength on another point. In all probability, therefore, mutual tastes, or sympathies, or interests, are the secret of what we call "personal charm," or "likeability" or "popularity." The person who possesses that enviable quality is quite likely to be a person who has naturally, or who has cultivated, a broad liberality and almost universal sympathy with things — so that no matter what the foibles and notions, or likes or dislikes of others are, he sees some good in them, or some sense, or some quality of one kind or another that makes mutual sympathy. Therefore, he is liked and trusted. But now, can this secret of personal charm, personal friend making, personal confidence winning, be applied to practical business letters.? That's what we want. Can we so use it in everyday dictation or writing, that the prospect will believe 247 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE CJUcaM,Ja. /IH^Hiiui/ a^ ^(UiM A^HaJb M^ at ?f Cafes'. Panel 129 THE CUSTOMER SAID— THE STORE REPLIED Customers worth having are worth satisfying. No legitimate business transaction is complete until the customer is satisfied. Above, see a complaint letter written to a Chicago store. Exasperation permeates every liije. The complaint is a just one, but the situation unavoidable from the store point of view. But read the answer on the next page. Notwithstanding the impossibility of an absolute adjustment the customer's way, that letter, by its consciousness of the custom- er's attitude and its genuine endeavor to be fair, not only made plain the store point of view, but satisfied its reader. Behind that letter is this thought: "A satisfied old customer represents more business than a book of new prosperts." Picture the customer. Mentally seat him beside your desk. Then talk to him. The writer of the store's lei ter takes just that attitude. He acts as if the cus- tomer came personally to the office. There is no chance for a quarrel. He is fair and open-minded and he shows the complainant that he really sees things as she does. Most people recognize a fair proposition when they see it. It is not hard to show that you have given all that you have agreed to give if you go about the job in a courteous, tactful way. 248 HOW TO CONVEY SINCERITY CLARK & DEARBORN CHICAGO, ILL. Mrs. M. E. White, Pontiac, Illinois. Dear Madam: We have your letter with reference to goods ordered from our Sunday advertisement. It MUST be exasperating to you and it cer- tainly is exasperating to us — for you could not want the goods more than we want your trade and good will. But, you see, when standard lines like these are advertised at such prices, hundreds of women want to take advantage of them, just as you did, and while you are writing your order, hundreds of others are doing the same. So the stock goes quickly. The only thing we can suggest is to hurry your order into the mail just as early after the advertisement appears as you possibly can. We are sorry, but we cannot get a single additional pair of gloves of the style adver- tised, at any price. We have secured a few more of the hose of the style advertised, but the price on the white will be 32 cents, black 37 cents. Even at that slight advance they are still remarkable values. If you wish we will gladly send them on approval. This is against our usual custom, but we want to go out of our way to remove the bad impression you have received. Let us know your wishes and in the mean- time we will hold your remittance to your credit. Yours very truly, CLARK & DEARBORN Panel 130 249 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE all we say about our merchandise? That the debtor will believe that what we ask him to do is right? That the dis- satisfied customer will believe that our answer to his complaint is fair? Will this principle "work*^ in a business letter, so that we can make what we write seem to look the reader straight and unafraid in the eye, so that when it is read by a perfect stranger, days after it was written, and miles away from the writer, it will still carry the impress of a strong, sincere, winning personality? Let us see. In Panel 129 on page 248 find a letter received by a city store from an out-of-town customer. You can see exaspera- tion — even suspicion — sticking out of every line of it. The letter had to be answered although the store simply couldn't supply the gloves advertised and the only hose of the style advertised that could be supplied were at an advanced price. So you see what a diflficult job the store's correspondent had in order to tell the plain truth and yet hold the customer's confi- dence — ^for the plain truth looked very much like the very untruthfulness which the customer suspected. But it was done. The customer not only wrote a cordial letter in reply, but accompanied it by an order for more goods. Let us consider the letter that did it. You will find it on page 249. The concrete impression the letter gives is frankness. It impresses us as the talk of a friendly, frank man. Now let us see where that impression of friendliness and frankness — of human personality — ^comes from. Where do you first begin to feel it? Isn't it right in the first paragraph, where the letter says, *Tt must be exasperating to you — "? The effect of that sympathetic admission in the letter is exactly that of the salesman who looks you straight in the eye and says "I won't deny for an instant" some opinion of yours. It's like the frankness of a man who in telling you about a dangerous experience remarks, "I admit I was scared stiff — if there'd been any place to run I'd have run — but — ." The confession to a feeling that you think you probably would have felt in such circumstances, provokes a sort of 250 HOW TO CONVEY SINCERITY tnental chuckle and the impression, "Here's my kind of fellow — he's telling the straight truth." And then you tend to believe implicitly in the courageous action he afterwards describes. If he had left out that little touch of human feeling that established sympathy or mutual understanding between you, you might have disbelieved his story. Now study again the effect of the letter on page 249. See how showing sympathy with the customer's feeling estab- lished a basis of mutual understanding. "It must be exasperat- ing to you" is a cog that fitted in with a similar cog in the customer's mind and then, "And it certainly is exasperating to us" — why, one feels, this isn't a cold-blooded bit of typewriting — this is a real person talking to us ! And notice the other high lights of the letter: "But, you see — " — "hundreds of women want to take advantage of them just as you did"— "And while you are writing your order, hundreds of others are doing the same — ." The writer's sincere, frank friendliness disarms suspicion, makes the reader see things his way. In fact, the whole effect of the letter — as we can judge for ourselves, and as its result with the customer showed — ^is of a real personality, looking one straight in the eye, and telling the simple truth. So much for the complaint letter. Now to look for the same principles in a sales letter. The letter on page 252, selected from a score of similar letters, will serve. This letter is successfully used by a baby carriage manufacturer who sells his product direct by mail. He secures the birth records of his territory and within a few months after a baby's birth he starts a follow-up series to the mother, beginning with the letter on page 252. As he has to draw his trade away from its natural outlet, the retail store, he has a good, hard job to per- form in winning complete confidence in his claims. I might stop to comment on the choice of words used for the appeal to the mother of a young babe — as the sentiment of mother love is faithfully mirrored in them. And we might stop profitably to observe the logical arrangement of "fea- 251 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE BETTER CARRIAGE MFG. CO. PHILADELPHIA, PA. Mrs. D. E. Crilly, Chicago, Illinois. Dear Madam: After baby's food and baby's clothes, the most important thing you have to decide upon is the little cart that baby is going to ride in — is going to be seen in — is going to be admired in. Never a child came into the world but was worthy as good a cart as could be afforded. We take pride in the handsome, comfortable, stylish little carts we make. We would rather make a good cart for a little round babe than the best automobile that runs, and no one, we honestly believe, makes a better one. For twenty years we have been making them — experimenting with them — learning to make better ones all the time. All the little points that make for baby's comfort and health — all the little points that go to make a proud, stylish, little turnout for 'the most inspiring sight in all the world — a mother and her child — have been observed and considered by us. Devoting ourselves entirely to the making of children's things, we appreciate full well the importance of price to you. And we long ago determined that our policy should be to offer every mother the chance to have for her child a cart that is fully worthy of the occasion, at a fair and reasonable price. We early determined to save her the unnecessary profit that the middlemen usually make — the whole- saler and the retailer — to sell our carts direct to the customer. Another advantage in this method is the wide range in selection of color and grade of upholstering. You don't have to offend your good taste, as you probably would if you had to buy what a local market affords. The catalog sent you illustrates and describes our many handsome styles. We know that you will read it carefully — because such an important matter as the selection of baby's cart requires care, doesn't it? Then, when you have picked out just the one you desire, our order blank gives very clear directions so that there will be no mistake about getting just what you selected. And we ship promptly and all charges prepaid. Yours sincerely, BETTER CARRIAGE MFG. CO. Panel 131 252 HOW TO CONVEY SINCERITY tures." But just now we are most interested in tracing the reasons for the letter's impression of frankness. In it we see again a letter that seems to look us straight in the eye Uke an honest man", and seems to be good friends with us hke some cordial, sincere, human being. In short, the letter has person ality . Why ? Why because, by a sympathet- ic understanding of mother's pride and love for her baby, it starts up the cog wheels of personal friendship and trust. Feel for yourself the human touch of the opening paragraphs. Turn to the letter and read them again. That first paragraph, for example, not only gives the mother "features" she can grasp easily, but it gives them to her in a way that makes her fall right in with them. If, instead of part of a letter, these "features" were a part of a personal interview, can't you just imagine the writer leaning down to pat the baby's cheek and saying, "What a fine child" .^ And that personal touch is exactly what he has to put into the cold typewriting of his letter. Notice that first the letter talks of baby carriages, not merely as something the rhanufacturer has to sell, but also as something the mother has to choose — two cogs working in unison. Then the fine workmanship on the carriages is not only a matter of the manufacturer's pride, but it also concerns "baby's comfort and health" and it helps "to make a stylish turnout for a mother and her child." The prices are not only bargains, they are also opportunities for "every mother to have for her child a cart worthy of the occasion at a fair and reasonable pric^." The selling method is not merely buying direct from the fac- tory, it is "to save the middleman's profit and give a wider choice." All through the letter, mutual understanding and sympathy are created between writer and reader. And that's the prin- ciple, we agreed, which underlies personal friendship and trust. Compare the letter with the one on page 249, and see how similar they are. And observe the printer's letter on page 254. Still different is this one — a strictly business letter to strictly business men. 253 13USINESS CORRESPONDENCE THE RECORD PRESS CHICAGO, ILL. Winslow Brothers Company, Chicago, Illinois. Gentlemen: I'm tempted to write you a long letter telling you just why you ought to use letterheads that give people a good impression of your business; how these first impressions grow into confidence and confidence into cash. But what's the use? You know, beforehand, about what I would say. You already know that your letterhead has as much significance to the person reading your letter as the appearance of your store front has to the passer-by. The point is this: I've studied office stationery so long and printed so much of it, that I know how to give it all the prestige and power that is possible to put into a small piece of printing. I want your order because I know I can give you as satisfactory work as you ever paid for. What shall it be, how many and how soon? Sincerely, THE RECORD PRESS Panel 132 THE SINGLE AIM AND THAT WORD "YOU' Suggest that you can help the reader in your letter and you have his attention. Tell how and you have his interest. Prove it, and you are likely to have his signature. The letter above is especially good because it not only meets the test of the foregoing statements, but also makes its strong and convincing appeal in a few words. It has one end in view — to crystallize wants — turn desire to decision — to get results, the order, now. "You" is the second most important word and the second oldest. As an attention-compeller it is without a peer, but it is a word with which one may not take liberties. The writer of sales letters must remember that he is generally addressing a stranger, and that while a friendly, natural, man-to-man attitude is desirable, nothing that verges upon familiarity will be tolerated. "You" is familiar. It will, without doubt, get the reader's attention. Therefore, be sure that it gets the right sort of attention. Study how it was handled on the next page. 254 HOW TO CONVEY SINCERITY WILLIS- JOHNSTONE COMPANY SPRINGFIELD, MISSOURI Mrs. F. E. Ross, Whitewater, Missouri. Dear Madam: There is only one way to find the best store in which to do your buying. Call on every dealer in town, compare qualities and prices carefully, then buy where your dollar " goes the farthest. Don't let any firm feel that it has a MONOPOLY on your trade. Don't let any firm consider you a sure customer. Make the men you deal with win your trade each time, over and over again. Don't buy even a second time from any firm before you have made the other fellow figure at ROCK BOTTOM for your order. The firm that considers you as SURE may not think it necessary to give you the lowest price, which another firm would quote to get your trade. Each firm you visit will claim — each must claim — that they can save you money. Your business is to look for the house that says: --"WE TAKE THE LEAST PROFIT." That is the only firm you will find that really will and does SELL CHEAPER. The WILLIS-JOHNSTONE COMPANY believes in selling to EVERYBODY and making small profits rather than in making big profits and selling only to a few. That is why we are writing to you personally. We are trying hard to get your business. We want you to know it is to your benefit to see us before buying house furnishings of any kind. We promise that it will pay you well for walking a few steps out of the main business district to look over our stock and prices. Yours truly, WILLIS-JOHNSTONE COMPANY P. S.--If you need matting this summer, either by the yard or in made-up rugs', we have patterns and pieces we are sure will please you. Panel 133 255 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE What made that letter win confidence token other letters had failed? Wliy the same sort of mutual understanding — -mutual sympathy. Notice the opening Hnes. "I'm tempted to write you about so and so, but what's the use — you know it all — ." With one sweep the writer establishes a feeling of "now, this fellow is sensible, let's see what he has to say about it." The letter on page 255 offers further proof. Here is a suc- cessful letter of a house-furnishing goods dealer who had to make his readers believe that it was to their interests to go out of their way to buy from him. Why should this letter have pulled so much better than most retailers' letters — where does its frankness and sincerity come from? Where, but from the same sort of effect of mutual understanding and sympathy. This time the prospect's confusion between the conflicting claims of rival stores is made the issue. The secret of personal magnetism can be applied to letters — that the reasons why each of those four successful letters won their readers' confidence and friendship are just like the reasons for the friendship and trust we feel for a strong personality. You see, sincerity is a personal quality. A stone wall cannot express sincerity. Nor can a typewritten sheet of paper. You can't make a letter, or an advertisement, or a speech, ring with sincerity, therefore, unless you can make it sound like a real person. It has to have personality. That quality we call personality requires two people — one to shine it and one to reflect it. Robinson Crusoe, when he was alone on his desert island, practically was just a human machine. But when his man Friday appeared, and Crusoe took an interest in him, thus awakening a return of interest on Friday's part, then, and only then, did Crusoe begin to express his personality. And a letter that talks entirely about the writer or entirely about the writer's interests, of what he can do and what he can't do, what his merchandise is or what it isn't, is like Robinson Crusoe puttering about on his desert island with no one to observe, or admire, or obey, or care a snap of the fingers about him. 256 HOW TO CONVEY SINCERITY There can be little personality of the writer felt in a letter which treats solely of the writer's interests, because there is no reader's 'personal interest created upon which to shine it. But when the baby, carriage manufacturer took his Big Idea of the better satisfaction a mother could secure by buying a cab direct of him, and made each "feature" of it a matter of mutual interest between himself and the mother, then the letter took on the air of a friendly talk between two people with mutual sympathies. The writer's personality was felt — and the result was confidence in his claims, and orders for his goods. On page 249 you can see how the store's complaint ad- juster, recognizing the customer's exasperation, made it a mutual affair between them by gearing it to the store's own exasperation. Then he made the big rush of orders for the bargains advertised a mutual affair between the customer and the store by gearing to the store's dilemma the customer's own desire for the bargains. And on page 254 you can see how the printer, recognizing the -average business man's objections to being preached to about the value of good printing, created a mutual interest by his "you know it, already." You can easily chart the effect of the other two letters in the same way, showing that the same psychological law that creates liking and trust between two persons, creates lik- ing and trust in a letter. Now we have pared away the husks and are down to the meat of our proposition. We have agreed upon the qualities which make some people likable and confidence inspiring. We have seen that the same qualities may be put in a letter with the same effect. We are ready, therefore, to find out how we can apply these laws now, at once, to everyday affairs and how to take the "features" of a letter's Big Idea and. make them not only our interests, but also the reader's interests. Frankly it's a big job. It is bigger and deeper than what has been called "Putting the 'you' element into letters," for that expression, "the you element" only half covers the task. 257 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE FAIRY FLOUR MILLS CHICAGO, ILL. Mrs. H. A. Sffartz Whiting Indiana Dear Madam: If only I could make a mere letter tell you how much of your cake-making troubles Fairy Flour would save I Just think — Fairy Flour takes all the mystery, all the difficulty, all the bad luck out of cake making. It. doesn't pay to fuss over a cake in the old-fashioned way, even if you are a fine cake maker. For Fairy Flour, without the work, makes as delicious a cake as you could make with all your fussing. But if you aren't a successful cake maker now, whj- Fairy Flour is a godsend I Anyone can make cakes that are light as a feather and simply delicious, with Fairy Flour. You just add water, mix gently, then bake. That's absolutely all. It seems impossible, doesn't it? But one package will show you I am telling the truth. You add no milk — the milk is all in it, in powdered form. You use no eggs — the eggs are in it, in powdered form. You do no work — for the work has all been done, by expert cake makers I It sounds like a Fairy tale — but it's only the genuine truth of Fairy Flour, and I am going to prove it to you. Go to any of the grocers on the list at bottom of this letter and get one 25-oent package of Fairy Flour. Use it just as I have said and if it doesn't make you as splendid a cake as you ever saw, the grocer will refund your 25 cents — on your mere say-so . Will you do it?. Why, it's worth while if only to marvel at this new wonder 1 Go to any one of these grocers — today Very truly yours, FAIRY FLOUR MILLS Panel 134 258 HOW TO CONVEY SINCERITY A letter that is all "you" and "your" is just as one-sided and hence just as impersonal, and just as insincere to the reader, as one that is all "I" and "my." Let me repeat that personality, or sincerity, or confidence — call it what you like, requires two people. You can't have confidence without having someone hard by to have con- fidence in, nor can you inspire confidence without having someone at hand. We have all seen letters that bristled with the word "you" that said "you this" and "you that" — and advertisements that pointed fingers at us and said "you need this" or "you want that." But there wasn't much personality in them after all. They were just as cold and impersonal as a letter that says nothing but "I this" and "I that." For instance, here is an extract from a letter I once had to revise, seeking to sell an automobile accessory: "You don't like to have the springs of your car squeak, do you? You like to have it roll silently along as still as a bird flies. But you don't like to have to spend a half a day down under your car oiling springs, do you? You'd like some easy way to keep your springs well oiled without the muss and bother of present methods, wouldn't you? Here is what you have been waiting for." The word "you" is in the letter often enough to suit the most exacting, but are you, yourself, in it? Certainly not. You don't get the least impression of the manufacturer's sincerity, his friendliness, his frankness. About all the element of personality you get is that of a rather conceited young person gratuitously telling someone whom he calls "you" a great deal about that person's own business. And yet this manu- facturer wondered why automobile owners didn't believe in his product and buy it on receipt of that letter ! Compare the paragraph I have quoted with the letter on the opposite page. It sells a different product, but it has the same sort of labor and trouble-saving idea to convey and the same sort of skepticism to meet. In that letter the housewife doesn't hear herself called "you" quite so 259 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE often, but she does feel her interests and her problems so closely linked up with the merchandise, and her doubts so much more sympathetically appreciated, that she feels much more of the real "you" interest in it. And isn't the sincerity, and frankness, and friendliness of the manufacturer, more humanly expressed? That letter isn't a "you" letter, it's a "you and /" letter. Now then, suppose you owned an unoccupied building in a certain district and I were a real estate agent who wanted to secure the handling of your property. Suppose I wrote to tell you that I knew how to rent property better than your present agent did. Suppose I filled my letter with statements about myself, the same sort of statements probably made by your present agent. Would you believe me? I hardly think you would. That would be the kind of talk you were accustomed to. Looking at the proposition another way, suppose I told you all about your own problem — things you already knew — such as, "Your building is vacant," "You want a tenant," and so on. Would you believe I was a better agent than the one Wb make a study of conditions In neighborhood OVhat are the conditions In neighborhood of my property? We work to have surrounding property kept up robab]y that wltile tliei r catalog is not a-s big as yours, they have to get rock-bottom prices f'o^' top notch paper, engraving and printing. I made a good enough record m three years to get me in at Johnstone & Company at a. muclt higher salary. But it was too high for them — raaylje you liave done that yourself — paid a man a salary to get him that you were sorry about afterwards. It made relations unpleasant and I left in two months' time. I took my present position as a place to tide me over until I could find a location in which I could use all my past experience. Yours is just that place. I want a chance at it and won't haggle ahout salary to start — I can prove my worth if I once get started. Will vo^ give me ten minutes' personal interview to back up what I have said in this letter? Panel 138 266 HOW TO CONVEY SINCERITY then become, not mere cold statements of fact on the one hand, or fawning subserviency to the reader on the other, but virile, interesting, man-to-man talks based on the same funda- mentals that, as we saw on page 249, control our personal relations. The mails every day are full of proofs of the point I make. As a good example, read, on the opposite page, a letter of applica.tion which out of 54- replies to an advertisement got first attention and won its writer the job. The little map at the top is merely an attention getter; the way to originate such stunts will be shown in a later chapter, but the body of the letter — the part that won confidence and impressed the per- sonality of the applicant on the employer — is constructed exactly according to the same principles we have just learned. Study that letter, and you will see how (if you had to write it) you could put the same "you and I" sym- pathy into every "feature" of the idea, once you had seen from your size-up that the employer would have many ap- plications all stating similar experiences, and doubtful as to which applicant really was the best man. Or observe the piano letter on the next page and see how the same principle applies to another selling letter. Here a size-up would show that because the piano was neither so high priced nor so widely known as others there would be a natural tendency on the part of high-grade prospects to doubt its claims to quality. See how that understanding of reasons for the prospect's doubts is used to give personality and sincerity to the whole letter — how it gives warmth, not alone to the beginning of the letter, but to each separate point. "You can pay more — ," "you can secure a piano bearing a more widely advertised name" — such phrases make the letter seem almost like the frank, honest talk of a friend to another. And how much more truthful they make the subsequent paragraph seem. Then again, "But that, perhaps, will exaggerate our claims — ," "it is a piano modestly advertised, moderately priced — ," how forcible those assertions make the next one — "but nobly built!" 267 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE VERDI PIANO COMPANY NEW YORK CITY Mrs. A. B. Foster, Syracuse, New York. Dear Madam: The piano that is going to grace your home for a good many years to come--that is going to be the evidence to your friends and visitors of your taste and musical discrimination- -that is going to be the pride of your family and have a far-reaching effect on the cultivation of the family's musical ear--the purchase of that piano, we know, must be considered from more ways than the price you pay. But it must also be considered from more ways than the mere name on the front of it. You can pay more for a piano than you would pay for a Verdi. You can, by paying a higher price, secure a piano bearing a more widely adve rtised name.. But will the fact that you selected for your piano the one with the most advertising back of the name and the biggest figures on the price, necessarily mean that you selected the piano in best taste? Not always. The Verdi is essentially the piano of the music lover. Its presence in the home bespeaks the family's genuine taste for music . Its full, rich tone, its singing qualities, its truth, go right to the heart of the music lover. Its touch, its response, its splendid ability to rise to the highest demands of the artist, give it an immediate charm to the player. But, of course, to the uninitiated the Verdi has not the glamor of reputation. It is like the difference in tastes for restaurants. Here in New York there are many gilded, garish cafes where everyone goes--the out-of-town visitor and the diners who follow the crowd. While the connoisseurs- - those who know- -turn aside to some side street, to a small dimly lit cafe--they go not for name but for quali ty. But that gives an exaggerated idea of our claims- - the Verdi is not the best piano. It is only one. of the good £ianos^ It is a piano modestly advertised, moderately priced, but nobly built- -a piano for the discriminating but not at all for the showy. It may be just the piano for your taste--if not now, then later when your musical taste has become more difficult to please. If so, you will be disappointed indeed if you permit yourself to be led away from it now. Why not let us place one in your home for trial? We again extend our liberal offer. Consider it — can you afford to judge rashly? Our local dealer is ready--let him send a Verdi to you now. Very truly yours, VERDI PIANO COMPANY. Panel 139 268 HOW TO CONVEY SINCERITY On the next page is a letter, the last of a series used by a manufacturer of automobile tops for Ford cars, that glows with the writer's sincerity — ^because of exactly the same ex- pressed understanding and sympathy with the reader's position. This letter, with just one slight change — instead of enclosing a sheet of paper for reply, merely suggesting that the pros- pect write his reply on the back of the letter — according to latest reports had been mailed to 1,973 names and had pulled 7S3 replies — 36% — and made 181 sales, or about 10% of the total list. That letter also has personality. Before I go any farther let me answer one objection I have heard made, an objection you may make yourself. It is this. Some men believe that they are above the need of what they call "artificial ways of winning confidence." A banker put his objection in this way: "These are tricks — ^they may be necessary for some people, but they would not be becoming in the letters of a bank. We tell the truth and we expect people to believe it." That sounds like a valid objection, but as a matter of fact it is not. As I told you once before, the simple truth is not always enough. Sometimes it must be staged. Your reader's believing you is a matter of the conditions the letter must face when it is read. If you have made an accurate size-up of the letter's work and in that size-up have seen no reason for your reader's doubting, or disliking to believe your claims, or if you don't care whether he doubts or not, then, of course, you need not take the trouble to convey the impression of your sincerity, aside from actually being sincere. But if your size-up does show a reason for your reader's being doubtful, or a chance that he won't want to believe, or if you don't want him to get the impression that you are cold and indififerent to his interests, then if your letter is to do its work properly, you must exercise care in putting the im- pression of sincerity into it. And that means putting your personality into it — no matter how dignified or how weighty or how just your proposition may seem. 269 Business correspondence FOUTS 85 HUNTER TERRE HAUTE, IND. Mr. Henry Eberlein, Warsaw, Indiana. Dear Sir: Today your correspondence was laid on my desk. I have before me your original inquiry, and copies of my several letters to you. I see that we have sent you our catalog and some of our literature. For some reason, that we don't understand, yon have not responded. I want to help you to be fully informed if you plan to buy some sort of a new vehicle before long. But it is not my wish to burden you with my letters and our literature, if you are not interested. Will you do me the kindness to write me why you have not sent us your order, or asked for more information? Does it seem to you that our prices are not attractive? Or is it the terms? Or the description of quality? Doesn't the Cozy Cab appeal to you as the ideal all-weather buggy? Are you going to buy some kind of a buggy a little later, but are not quite ready to place the order now? If so, when will you be ready for it? I am enclosing a sheet of paper and a stamped envelope to make it easy for you to answer these questions, if you will do me this courtesy. Please do it before you lay aside this letter. I will be governed by your reply. Sincerely yours. Sales Manager FOUTS & HUNTER Panel 140 GUNS OF ARGUMENT Irresistible appeal, "you and I" talk, pleasant personality, qualities which can be acquired when they do not come naturally, are what made the letters in Panels 138, 139 and 140 lure the reader to favorable action. In them the guns of attractive argument and effective salesmanship are aimed directly at the reader. Behind each letter is the thought: "If I show a knowledge and interest in his affairS'he will take an interest in mine." So the reader does not get out of the way, but stands and takes the shot. It may be selfish, but the nearest subject to me is me. The ace-high theme with you is you. Played upon skilfully that theme not only collects today's profits but tomorrow's good will. 270 HOW TO CONVEY SINCERITY For instance, one can hardly conceive of a more dignified mission than Mr. Elihu Root's journey to Russia at the opening of America's entry into the war, or a more dignified bearer of it than Mr. Root. Yet in his address to the Russian people upon his arrival, knowing the Russians' reasons for doubting his sincerity, and knowing that some of them would not want to believe him at all, he did not deem it unbecoming to his dignity to do exactly what we have seen done in these business letters. We can analyze his address into a Big Idea and "features," just as clearly as a good letter can be analyzed. Notice my analysis at the top of the next page. Also notice that for each "feature" of the Big Idea the Russians' attitude or reason for doubting it was sized up, and a point of mutual sympathy established just as in the letters we have analyzed. If you will read the first paragraph of that part of his ora- tion reproduced on the next page you can see how he handled the first "feature" of his Big Idea: Now, let us look beneath the surface of the presenting of that "feature." You remember that the Russians had been made doubtful of Mr. Root's sincerity by the charges that the government in America was a capitalistic government. How did he meet it? Certainly not by stubbornly stand- ing on his dignity and ignoring possible doubts. But, by a sympathetic understanding of the reasons for those doubts — Russia's passion for democracy — he got the Russians' own greatest interest right with him by describing the President as chosen at an election in which more than 18,000,000 votes were freely cast and fairly counted, by universal, equal, direct, and secret suffrage. In effect he says, "you doubt the democracy of our government — what do you think of this for democracy?" Isn't the underlying principle exactly that of the real estate letter on page 262, which meets the owner's doubts of one real estate agent's being better than another, by: "our firm has made a survey of the vacant property in the district where your property lies, and finds so and so"? 271 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE THE INTEREST OF AMERICA IN THE SUC- CESS OF THE RUSSIAN REVOLUTION Objact of the mission - Our love of llberty- ^* 25 26 ^rf 28 29 u^<^ c^mM /tpat^ 0^ pro^ ike the precautionary step there- fore: Use thV enclosed self- addressed envelop — write us and ask us to show you iyst how much ii ?i]:i §§Y9 191 YQy- ^^ can give you some mighty interesting information. Panel 169 SELL YOURSELF No matter what kind of a letter you have to write, keep this fact in mind: never use an argument that does not seem irresistible to you. Know your goods from the source of the raw material to the delivery of the finished product. In selling them look at the proposition through the eyes of the prospect. Sell your- self the order and you will find the talking points that win. 330 MAKING YOUR LETTER PERSUASIVE Then there is the follow-up series which is mailed to lists of prospects, not originated by an inquiry. In such letters, of course, no buying motive can be assumed to be active, hence every letter must have the elements of persuasion in it. Panel 170 shows the first of a very successful follow-up series soliciting new accounts for a clothing manufacturer. Observe how the Self-Preservation Motive in the form of business caution is fed in this letter. And here, again, the question of selecting the best motive for a letter is brought up. A merchant stocks a certain line usually through the Gain Motive, and yet this letter seeks to move him to action through a different motive. But examine the letter closely and you will see that while selling is the ultimate aim of the letter, the immediate action desired is investigation, and the very nature of investigating implies caution, open-mindedness, or foresight. Therefore, in this case, the Business Caution Motive is probably more easily aroused than the Gain Motive would be. The whole question of what motive to arouse should always be settled on the basis of what available one can be most easily aroused in the case at hand. That is why I left the discussion of selecting motives until after you had seen the ways of arousing them. As we now know that a reader's susceptibility to any motive at any given time depends on the activity at that moment of all the counter motives, we can easily see what effect his previous attitude toward us, or our knowledge of his interests, his habits, his location, must have in determin- ing our choice of motive. The debtor who has ignored many statements and letters we know to be unsusceptible to the plain Duty Motive. The man who has bought extravagantly from us in the past we know will not be so easily susceptible to the Gain Motive as to the Pride or the Self-indulgence Motive. The merchant who is already stocked on one brand of goods, and who is making money from it and feeling per- fectly satisfied, will not be so susceptible to the Gain Motive when we seek to interest him in a rival line as he perhaps would be to the Business Caution Motive. On the other 331 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE Motive Self-Preservation— Being Sure You Have the Best Line You have so i Bajwmaiiu sell clothiDg to/yc Mi ?hat y "let well enougn a^ Lo^. " ^ policy in buaines/s provide "well enouB«." / facturers trying to ou may have decided at's a very good you're sure it is to Tb§ facV is, we've madeXour name and line so much 0/ an asset in popular favor that we don't hesi^te to say that whenever ^merchant identi- fies/himsely with us, his busiire^s begins to in- crease An^ we're pretty sure, no matter how "*/ii §09^8^" Y9y'r§ ^2iGS' y9y'il D9^ 9^i§5i ^9 dglng bet^r. It'fe one of those things in business which is i?Borgant enough to find out about because it represents very definitely and very certainly more volume f*r you; and that ought to sound good. Wel'll be glad to tell you more about it by correspo idence, or by having our representative arrange to see you when the men start on the fall sellingJirip. li E§Y§ i9 ^9 i9f2r5§^- Shall we give you the facts; or will you talk with our salesman when he comes your way? Let us know how you feel about it. Panel 170 332 MAKING YOtR LETTER PERSUASIVE hand, if our line were one that represented the possibihty of entirely new business to the merchant, then probably the Gain Motive would be our easiest channel. As a matter of fact, the experience of most advertising men and salesmen has been that the Self-Preservation Motive is the most difficult to arouse, if the action desired is serious or costly. Strange as it may seem, the average person apparently buys less frequently because of future protection to health, future safety of his business, care for old age, and so forth — any of the purely precautionary motives included under the head of Self-Preservation — than for any other motive. For instance, I did considerable work once for a manu- facturer of a catarrh remedy, and I learned that advertising and letters based on any form of the Self-Preservation Motive — such as the dangers of catarrh bringing on tuberculosis, causing deafness, and so forth — got but little response. But copy that told how obnoxious the catarrh sufferer was to his friends; pointed out that people often changed seats in a street car to get away from him; showed that people dis- liked to eat at the same table with him, brought orders rolling in. In other words, protection against future suffering — Self-Preservation — was not nearly so effective a motive as Pride. Salesmen of efficiency appliances find the same condition — business men would rather spend money for a machine because it will produce profit, than because it will safeguard them. I have also found that either the Pride or Duty Motive will arouse the average man or woman to 'pay a hill more quickly than will the fear of consequences. This does not contradict what has already been said as to the manifestly dishonest person, because the dishonest person is not average. Experienced salesmen, advertisers and letter writers will usually choose the best motives, where there is room for a choice, in this order: Love, Gain, Duty, Pride, Self-indul- gence, Self-Preservation. That is, if more than one motive is available for the proposition, they will choose the one nearest the top of that list, other things being equal. For 333 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE instance, if a proposition might appeal both to a man's love for his wife and to his desire to gain, the Love Motive would be played upon first. I don't know why it should be so, and maybe it isn't always so. But experience tends that way and it makes a good basis to start planning from — ^letting circumstances or judgment alter the rule as seems wise. But always remember to distinguish between the idea that the reader is to be sold on, and the motive that persuades him to sign the order. The idea that makes a business man want to pos- sess an oflSce appliance may be the safeguarding of his records, while the motive that makes him forget all counter motives and buy might be his pride in having top-notch equipment. It all goes back to what has been said before, that we don't buy everything we want. We buy only that part of those things we want, that Self -Preservation, Love, Gain, Duty, Pride, or Self-indulgence sweeps us on to buying over the resistance of all counter motives. Therefore, in writing letters to persuade, first see that the right idea is conveyed, and then inject the "fuel" for the motive in order to get action. SUMMARY IN this chapter we have seen : First, that all human actions are prompted by one of six Prime Motives which have been listed for you on page 306. This you can prove by analyzing your reasons for any act you ever perform. In some phase or other, one of the Motives will always apply; Second, that to persuade a reader to act in the way we want him to do, we must arouse one of those six motives, choosing the one that will surely prompt such an action, the one that will have the least interference from counter motives, and therefore the one that will be most easily aroused; Third, that a motive for action is aroused in the reader by mixing with the expression of the idea, the kind of thoughts or suggestions that will make the motive active in the reader's mind — in other words, the task of the letter 334 MAKING YOUR LETTER PEHSUASIVE writer is to feed fuel for the motive into the general trend of the letter; Fourth, that the amount of fuel must be regulated by the writer's judgment as to how active the motive is in the reader's mind and how much counter motive must be burned out. All this may sound complicated when considered in bulk, but if you will start practising at the very beginning — first selecting a motive, then the fuel, and then going on one step at a time, you will find it soon becomes very easy. In- variably a student will write a better letter by following this system of exercising persuasion. First attempts, of course, will be, generally are, far from perfect, but each subsequent trial of the method will show an improvement. In the next chapter we shall continue our study of motives, but from another point of view — ^the close of the letter. We shall see that the close depends largely on giving the reader at the right moment an impulse to act. This ques- tion we shall trace to its beginning and after showing why an impulse is necessary, show how it may be prepared. Without anticipating too much, it may be said that this rests on giving the reader's motive some easy task to do. This new work is interesting, easy to understand, and the chart for closing a letter which is explained in detail, will enable you to put the new principle into practise right away. 3oS PROBLEM SECTION VI BEHIND every voluntary action there is a motive. Let I us all agree to that. Of course, there are times when people's motives are hard to understand, and at first thought motives may seem to be lacking. But search deep enough and you will invariably find that the underlying cause of any action is due to one of the six motives we read about in the last chapter. These in their order, you will recall, are Love, Gain, Duty, Pride, Self -Indulgence, and Self -Preservation. Some of you may be incUned to argue over the order in which motives should be placed, holding, for example, to the proverb that "self-preservation is the first law of nature." I'll not debate with you on that. I'll leave that to the professors. I am a business man and I hold that from a plain, ordinary, business standpoint the motives which prompt human action may be listed as I put them. Now, of course, the talk of motives in this problem sec- tion has but one purpose. The right motive is at the bottom of successful persuasion. And we'll practise in this problem sec- tion on how to persuade customers to buy goods, or service, pay bills, accept an answer to a complaint, and so on. We'll begin with the knack of picking the motive by working over a letter with which we are familiar and then pass on to original problems in this fascinating subject. As interesting a letter as any is that pie letter that we began in the fourth problem section. In the past two sections we put personality and sincerity in it; now we'll make it per- suasive. With the start we've made, the job is easy. It merely hangs on the selection of a motive. The letter as it 336 MAKING YOUR LETTER PERSUASIVE stands is on page 288, where you can refer to it as we proceed in our work of completing it. In the first place, the action we want from the reader of that letter is the presentation of that little 10-cent coupon. What motive will persuade him to do that? To decide, we'll look over the list of motives to find that four of the six in- stantly can be dismissed from our calculations. Probable motives then become Gain and Self-indulgence. (I believe that my choice of motives is plain without a discussion. Certainly, Love as a motive need not be considered in this case. Equally valid objections are apparent for the other motives.) Now consider the possibilities of the first remaining motive, Gain. How shall we apply it? Gain of the dime's worth? That would be worth considering were it not for the fact that our list consists of doctors, lawyers, architects, dentists, and other professional men, who can't be influenced by the prospect of gaining that 10 cents. Therefore, we'll reject Gain as a motive and turn to Self-indulgence, which seems to fit the bill. But merely selecting the motive is not all of our task. Motives have many phases, hence it is necessary to select the proper phase of this Self-indulgence before going farther. Self-indulgence may take the form of gratification of appetite or passion; desire for comfort or pleasure; satisfying of curi- osity or any other personal feeling or desire, including hatred. Of course, this list is not a complete tabulation of the forms Self-indulgence may take. There are many others, but the list will do for us, for the key to our problem is to be found in it. It pays to be cautious, however, for we can easily go astray. For instance, gratification of appetite seems to be the exact point of attack. But.it isn't. Why? Because when it comes noon, men of this type may forget all about the appetite we created. Noonday lunch with most of them is a sort of social hour — they go where friends go so that they can visit and chat and joke while they eat. 337 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE Therefore, we must arouse the Self-indulgence Motive in some other way. Why wouldn't that desire for a good time at lunch— the humoring or indulgence of sociability — be the motive that would have the least resistance at noon? That appeal looks good to me. How about you-f* Suppose we work our readers up to considering the use of the 10-cent coupon as a sort of sporting proposition — one good fellow's dare to another of, "I'd give a dime to see you tast- ing your first piece of Anna's lemon pie." If we can get that form of the Self-indulgence Motive working — indulging the sociable and sporting inclination — at noon our prospects may say to their usual luncheon compa- nions, "This fellow says he'd give a dime to see me eating a piece of Anna's lemon pie — here's the coupon. Let's go up and see what 'Anna' is like, and make him come across with the dime." Don't you think, with that class of men, such a motive might work better than a more serious one? See how a study of motives opened a broader vision of our job for us? It brought out not only the difference between ideas and motives, but also the difference between motives and reasons. Reason is cold, dispassionate. Motive is as warm and human as humanity itself. We want reasons before do- ing things — but we won't do them after we have the reasons, unless we have a motive. Now none of those professional men will come to our res- taurant with his 10-cent coupon unless he has a reason. And reason we have given him in the Big Idea that the coupon is good for a piece of Anna's pie and in the visionary idea that Anna's pie is so good. Since his reason has made him willing, we must now arouse a motive for acting. Let us see what "fuel" will arouse that motive. The very words in which we thought of the motive would be good "fuel," wouldn't they? No doubt about it. Therefore, we'll redraft the letter and begin it in this way : I'd give a dime to see you eat your first piece of Anna's lemon pie. 338 MAKING YOUR LETTER PERSUASIVE The next two paragraphs of the letter hit the mark just as they were written. We'll drop them in the new letter with- out change. But we'll not forget our motive and the "fuel" it requires. Therefore at the end of the third paragraph we'll add this: You'd say it, too — I'll bet a dime you would! That keeps the motive blazing and we can slip in another paragraph previously written; the one about the crust. Then we hit the coupon idea and to make it stick we'll add more "fuel" by opening the final paragraph with this sentence : Yes, sir, I'd gladly give a dime just to see you taste your first piece of that pie — And we'll revise still more to add this "fuel" to the motive: I'll put it right in this letter — or a coupon as its equivalent. Here is still another urge to the reader. We'll get it in that last paragraph, too: By George! I will give a dime. Now, I'll incorporate all of the "fuel" for the motive into the letter to show how much persuasiveness it adds to it. Below I print the letter in full, as far as we have gone. Study it over. Next time we will learn how to construct the proper close for the letter — a close that will fire the motive into action. Dear Sir: I'd give a dime to see you eat your first piece of Anna's lemon pie. My, what lemon pie that woman can bake! Why, man, when you close your lips and tongue on a piece of that pie it's like a little gushing fountain in your mouth just deluging your palate with delightful tastes? First the frosting — not the sugary sort of meringue you're thinking of, but frosting — of cool, snowy, vapor- ous sweetness. Then quickly the refreshing lemony — not sourness, mind you, that's too strong a word — but rather a wild, pleasing tartness. Then sweetness and tartness crushed in together, and Pouf ! they join and blend in an BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE entirely new taste that gradually melts away somewhere down your throat and only a soft, happy memory remains — until your next mouthful. Yes, Anna certainly has a knack about lemon pies that's all her own. You'd say it, too — I'll bet a dime you would! Then the crust, I must call it crust, I suppose, as if it were like other pie crust — it's crisp, of course, as good pie crust should be, it's flaky — but Anna's crust, when you put it into your mouth seems to have only been making believe to be crust after all. For where is it? It crumbles and flakes away and gives itself up to the rest of the pie like a sacrifice — to help make one grand, complete taste of paradise for you. Yes, sir — I'd gladly give a dime just J.0 see you taste your first piece of that pie! By George! I will give a dime! I'll put it right in this letter — or a coupon as its equivalent — and if you'll come in today, have your luncheon and top off with a piece of Anna's lemon pie — you can simply hand in the coupon with your lunch check as payment for the pie. Now I think you have my idea in practise as well as in theory, which was explained in the last chapter. You see the job in persuading is to select the right motive from the list; to analyze, as I did just now for the pie letter; and to choose the right angle or phrase or feature, whatever it may be called, of the motive and to app'y it to the purpose of the letter. It's not as easy as it looks. There's plenty of opportunity . for originalihy on the job, as you'll find before you finish this problem section. Later on I'll give you a chance to test this principle for yourself, but first I suggest that we clean up the other prob- lems begun in the last problem section. In the first place you were supplied with the "features" of the idea used in a letter to sell apple cider. Your problem was to tabulate the reader's attitude toward each "feature" and word the "features" in a way that would establish a sympathy with the reader's thoughts. On page 304 you will find the actual letter on which this problem was based. Of course, it would be absurd to expect that any two people would arrive at the same sort of phrases 340 MAKING YOUR LETTER PERSUASIVE or even at exactly the same tone in a letter, but in the suc- cessful letter on page 304 you have a general standard by which to measure. By studying the letter and by comparing it with the prob- lem I set for you in the last problem section, you will see that its intimate, personal atmosphere can be traced from the table of the "features" and the reader's attitude toward them in the panel below: I Used To Like It When I Was a Boy, The Taste of Good Old Apple Cider / But I Can't Set Any Like That Any Our Cider Is Even Better Than the Old-Rishioned Kind We Wash the Apples and Sort Out the_ Rotten Ones More -/Why? -\ Didn't They Always Do That? Bottled by a Process that Will Keep It, Won't Get Hard? Then You Must Use ,.,. ^ .„ J, „ „ \ Some Chemical. Besides, Who Wants Without Getting Hard,for Two Years \ to Save It Two Years? Non-Alcoholic-Can Be Enjoyed by Udies ' ^ould My Wife and Children Like It? and Children ^ Fine for Weak Stomachs ( But I Don't Need Medicine Panel 171 How nearly did your table come to that one? It should have been something like it, at least. If it wasn'Jt, try again. Test this new principle on your letters until you are sure that you have it. Your next problem was to tabulate the reader's attitude toward the "features" of a collection letter that was outlined for you. You will find the original of the letter on page 301. A comparison of your work with the finished result will, I believe, answer any questions that may have come up. If you need more practise, you will find many other letters in the foregoing chapter which you may analyze into a tabula- tion of reader's attitude. This mention of extra work reminds me of a point that I Have spoken, of before, but which I'll state again. The prob- 341 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE lems in this book are purposely limited. They are only sug- gestions, so to speak. Even if you are sure that you under- stand everything perfectly, it will be well at times to apply on some of the letters in the book the principles which the problems brought to light. That's the way to get most out of the work you are doing. Now, I think you are ready to tackle the real work of this problem section. You have found that this question of mo- tives is not mere theory, but that it is a practical phase of everyday affairs. The matter of selecting the proper motive to play upon leaves room for errors of judgment, no doubt, but so does every important step in business. Keener judg- ment can be cultivated along this line by painstaking study of your proposition, of the people with whom you deal, and of the motives used for various purposes in other successful letters. Problem 1 You will find, in the panel below, the main portion of a very successful letter used by a purchasing agent. He really Motive Gain of future business I have taken UiAte from your letter of January 7 that you sell your/wodel T Burner nbt\oash 30 days, only I dont know w>aa1\your reasons are and they don't concern me, far be it from me ro aVtempt to dictate your business policies. • ' ■ Your sales aepa.>tment has only to stop and think a moment 1.0 realize how unnecessary it\is for a plant having our purchasing vol- ume to experiment with newS§qui)>ment designs on any such terms as you ask We have felt willing toH™ out your-btH««^ But if it should be unsatisfactory we *sijld call on you to remove it. Thirty days is too short for a test T9U,m-obably know better than I do what course would follow the testing oT-yw ir typc^ But I leave it to you give your goods a trial? Shall we continue our present type or Panel 172 342 MAKING YOUR LETTER PERSUASIVE wanted to buy a trial order from this firm, but wanted better terms. In his letter he tried to persuade the seller to alter his terms. I have indicated the motive of the writer at the top of the letter, and by the lines I show the points in the let- ter where the motive's "fuel" was supplied. Try your skill now at inserting at those points the kind of "fuel" that will arouse the motive. File this letter in your Material File. In the next chapter you will be given the original letter to correct your work by. Problem 2 As we are practising in this book on a variety of styles of letters, let us now try one written to get agents. In the letter on the next page I am going to let you select the proper motive as well as supply the "fuel" for it. Remember to consider carefully what kind of action is sought for, and what the results of that action are going to be for the reader, and to choose your motive accordingly. Remember, also, to choose the motive that is likely to have least resistance with the particular type of reader reached. You will find in this letter, and usually in all letters, that inserting the "fuel" for the motive after the body of the let- ter is decided on, calls for minor changes in the original word- ing. You probably noticed this as you watched the building up of the restaurant letter. In actual business, when you have all the principles of a good letter in hand, you will simply lay out all the various steps of a letter in a preliminary outline and then incorporate them in your letter as you write or dictate. Just now, of course, wc must use each principle by itself to get accustomed to using it. Problem 3 On page 346 is another letter which I have treated in the same way as the previous example. Here you see that although the Big Idea is the applicant's ability and experience, the motive aroused for giving him his chance ia a 343 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE Motive -- ?? We w6raf very our best \a %,i-^^ you ws are seiiaitig you o' feel wil/ be of inte oh pleased to receive your inquiry and shall do the information you wish. Under separate cover atest catalog and we enclose some literature we ■es\ to you. 'you will see bV our catalog, we manufacture a complete line of hodiert and underwiar. x(e sell our goods through our representa- tives, noft through stoVekeepej^. We have been selling our goods this way /or the past twentjt-one yeas^jand have built up an enormous business' in £^1 parts of the Uni\ed States?^* Our goods are no^peculiar in any way. They are what everybody r[ts. Just high grade hoBiery and underwear of fine quality and re,- mai kablj low price, so you\ee you do not need any experience to sell thim. ijhey are easy to sell^nd those who buy them almost always become st( ady customers ' ' * • Selling our gbods is not hard. If you only show th^ to people, they will see at onb« how much better they are than thing the local dealer can sell at anywhere near the price, for our anyt gooas, bought from regular dealers, with^ attached, would cost 50% more than you woul3 the middleman's profits igll them for. of As to our terms, we give you a commission We pretey all the shipping charges so that you actually make one-fourth on all \ou sell. Doesn't this seem like a fair proposition? may be sure we will help you to the utmost, if you take up the work. 'We will supply you with literature, selling arguments, sam- ples of theVoods, in fact give you the full benefit of our experience and advice anV^every advantage that has made possible the success of our representative We only ask you to deposit a small amount for a sample outfit as an evidence of good faith This money is returned to you when you have sold a certain amount of goods, so the samples really cost you nothing. We take all the trouble and risk so that you can begin the work at once, for we know that if you will make a start, you will make a success of the work. Panel 173 344 MAKING YOUR LETTER PERSUASIVE form of the Duty Motive — business fairness. Try your hand at developing this motive. Peoblem 4 Now for the next problem I want you to do still more of the work. Here is a brief of a letter I'd like to have you write: Certain customers of an ice company have let their bills run too long — the new monthly bills are almost due. The Big Idea of the collection letter is that the bill will have to be paid at once. Its features are: Your last month's bill is unpaid Customers must not get behind In order that the remittance will not be confused with cur- rent bill, the enclosed special blank should be used. Out of these "features" you ought now to be able to visual- ize very clearly the idea that the bill will have to be paid at once. The motive selected by the writer of the letter, after many experiments, was a form of the Self-Preservation motive — saving oneself from embarrassment. I will give you this much of a hint as to the "fuel" — it encouraged the customer to think she had only overlooked the payment. The enclosed remittance blank put the words into her mouth, "I had for- gotten." With that much information, try writing the com- plete letter. Problem 5 For the next problem I am not even going to give you the Big Idea. I shall simply tell you the purpose of the letter and let you map out its "load," its Big Idea, the motive for action, and write it complete. Here it is : A manufacturer of a dairy supply circularizes his dealers for lists of their customers to whom he proposes to mail a series of letters selling his product — call it D D. It is quite an effort to get the dealers to make up and send him such 345 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE Duty Motive (Business Fairness) ne of your employees to lose his job is not my in- my pf your employees has MY job — then it isn't his If you hive a copy writer working on mail order accounts who can't/write a pi see ofVcopy as good as the sample enclosed, marked Exhioit 1, and w lioh brsught back inquiries at a cost of 53 cents, for which sales were closed Vt a cost of $6 10, when the lowest cost per sal9 had previoJ^y beenVround $10 — then he has MY job and'his job is somewhere else. **""'■ Exhibit 2 pulled 144' Motion Picture Magazine, ExHibit 3 la; nquiries from the Cosmopolitan, 28 from from Argosy. Average cost about $1.40 is the only piece of bopy that paid out on this proposition year — it is the only one iN^rote, but two other copy men had had y at it before it came to me. ^educing mail order copy ***** If you have a copy writer who is thatXdoesn't pay like that, HE HAS MY JOB. I have other samples I could show you — in five years' experi- ave handled about every sort of mail order proposition there is ***** My name and address is: H. A Hornsby 555^ Cochin Avenue Brooklyn My age is 27. Graduate of Williams Please put yourself in the place of an advertiser and consider me as a solicitor for your agency — and then write me whether or not you will give me a show to prove that we are both losers if my real job is with you and I'm not filling it. Panel 174 346 MAKING YOUR LETTER PERSUASIVE lists, although the advertising he proposes to do is really to the dealers' advantage. Often the dealers fail to follow direc- tions — they send too long a list. Sometimes they merely tear pages from the rural telephone directory. Such help is im- practicable, for the follow-up series consists of four mailings costing %]/2 cents apiece. To revise, the dealer must pick names from a list of his best customers. The manufacturer also has to know the kind of dairying each man engages in. A special blank is enclosed for the purpose. This blank is also enclosed with the original request for a list, but it has been ignored. Therefore, a special effort must be made to make the dealer see why he should use it. Plan the whole letter and then in the next chapter we shall see how nearly you have come to a form that represents the product of long experience on this particular job. 347 PART VII HOW TO MAKE YOUR LETTER GET ACTION CHAPTER VII HOW TO MAKE YOUR LETTER GET ACTION RESTING on the edge of a precipice, a rock is a potential ^ avalanche. But there it rests. There it rests for pos- sibly hundreds of years until one day a tiny impulse — a wind, a vibration, a slight shifting of the earth beneath — starts it moving, and the rock starts an avalanche. So with an audience of people. In it are all the potentials of a great ovation. But those potentials remain only poten- tials — as the motive to cheer the orator or applaud the play grows and swells — ^until interested friends start a ripple of hand clapping. That is the impulse needed. The applause bursts forth. The need of an impulse at a critical moment has been recog- nized and used for all kinds of purposes for many, many years. It occurs in many, many forms. Probably at some time in your life you have stood before the entrance of a circus side-show and heard a "barker" describe all the wonderful things to be seen inside the tent. Analyze such a talk and you will find that it consists of a series of vivid visionary ideas, paving the way for the positive idea that the show must be worth seeing. Strung cleverly through the talk you'll always find the fuel of some potent motive for paying the admission price, and always at the close of the "spiel," you will recall, as the barker begins the old formula, "step up now, ladies and gentlemen ," there comes a general push forward. The man back of you pushes forward. His advance starts another and another moving forward, and you, too, find your- self moving forward. At exactly the right moment, just as the "barker" has aroused a motive for going forward, that 351 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE general motion of the crowd starts you and the aroused motive, now working, carries you on. As a matter of fact, the impulse that starts the crowd at such times is supplied by carefully placed "shills," as they are called in circus slang. The "shills," employees of the circus, are scattered among the crowd and at the given cue they begin pushing and crowding forward, thus setting the whole crowd in motion towards the ticket seller. Each person in the crowd thinks that all the others are going into the tent, so, he concludes, that as he is started he will keep on. Thus do people who hadn't intended to visit the side show at all, once started, soon find themselves paying over their money for admission. The explanation, however, is simple enough. To under- stand it, recall a point I made in the last problem section. We agreed that human motives could be compared in some respects to the engine in an automobile. Well, if a motive is a mind engine, then the impulse is the self-starter. In other words, when you have picked the right motive and worked on it in the body of your letter you may say that the fuel is ready, the spark ready, and all that is needed is the impulse to start the engine going. Applying this thought to the circus crowd, we find that we have, although in the crudest form, the scientific "close" for any persuasive argument, whether in the form of letter, advertisement, sales talk, or speech. The salesman who ends his clinching point with, "Now how many will you need.''" or, "which style do you prefer?" thus starting you into action by getting you to decide how many or what kind, follows this method. The salesman who deftly inserts a fountain pen in your hand, pointed straight at the dotted line, thus starting you at the first step of writing, has also adopted this principle to his use. The promoter who lays out his long subscription blank at the closing moment and sets you reading off the names of those who have already subscribed — ^thus accustom- ing you to the thought of adding your own signature to the list — also applies the old, old principle behind the theater's 352 LETTERS THAT GET ACTION claque, or the circus "shill." They are starting the engine after the gas has been regulated and the spark set. Hence, a letter that seeks to persuade the reader to act should follow that same course. With what we have learned from the sixth chapter, we know how to arouse the motive for action. Therefore, if we now supply, in the form of a "close" or "clincher," an impulse that starts that motive working, we come as close as humanly possible to making sure that our letter will bring results. Looked at from this new point of view, the matter of writing "a strong close" for a business letter becomes a simple matter. The new point of view, in fact, allows us to let a definite standard by which to measure the exact eflfective- ness of any proposed close. That standard is this: The more nearly a close comes to actually starting the motive for action, the better it is. With that rule in mind, let us examine the close of the letter illustrated on the next page. The motive aroused in that letter is gain — the gain of quality in a particular style or separator and the gain of profit from its use. The action sought is the selection of the writer's separator in preference to others. Now just consider the last paragraph of that letter, the close, by itself: "Your reply will have prompt attention. What size shall we price you.''" If the Gain Motive has been aroused, as we shall assume it has been, by the fuel scattered through the letter (the Gain Motive keeps saying "better choose this separator, choose this separator, choose it") can't you see how the subtle suggestion of, "your reply will have prompt attention" starts that motive power at work thinking of "your reply"? In other words, that phrase turns over the reader's mind- engine once, to use the automobile analogy. And the motive power of the mind has something easy on which to begin to work. Now consider the last sentence of the letter, "What size shall we price you.''" By that the engine gets a good, brisk 353 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE NUWAY SEPARATOR COMPANY SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA Mr. Guy C. Williams, Ragnor, Wash. Dear Sir: You were interested to write recently regarding a Nuway Separator and your inquiry was given prompt attention- -but we do not recall receiving your reply. Did you receive our catalog? If you could understand, as we do, just the kind of material and workmanship we put into the latest Nuway, and the profit and satisfaction you will enjoy in its use, we know you would decide upon the latest Nuway, and nothing else. Where can you find such a broad, unlimited guarantee- -that we are ready to fulfil at any time--as we offer to the purchaser of a Nuway? Does it not show our unlimited confidence and desire to give a square deal to all purchasers of Nuway Cream Separators? Kindly refer to page 6 in the catalog mailed you. Improved Nuway Separators have large capacity, are easier to operate and easier to wash clean; consequently, they save you time and labor, and their life of usefulness is prolonged. There is no way that larger net returns can be secured from your herd than by separating the cream and using the warm, sweet, skim milk for feeding purposes, raising your best calves, and developing them for future milkers, or fattening well bred hogs for market. Nuway Separators actually make and save money, Mr. Williams, and viewed only from a standpoint of dollars and cents, there is nothing that will pay so well as the latest Nuway Separator. Your reply will have prompt attention. What size shall we price you? Very truly yours, NUWAY SEPARATOR COMPANY. Panel 175 354 LETTERS THAT GET ACTION spin. The Gain Motive — selecting the best size^s now actually at work. Easily the prospective buyer finds himself actually engaged in choosing, one of the processes of buying. It is then quite natural for him to complete the transaction. If we apply to that close our standard, " The nearer a close comes to actually starting the motive for action, the better it is," we can say that the close which we have just considered is most effective. Unfortunately, it happens that this particular letter is one of the few quoted in this book on applied busi- ness correspondence on which it was impossible to secure a statement of the actual results. But I would be willing to go on record as believing that if the letter did not produce results, it certainly was not because of a weak close. We shall not, however, stop to debate the question, for the letter on page 356 can be analyzed in the same way. I know its record. I know that it really did pay. It happens to be a collection letter instead of a sales letter, but this newest principle, like all others that we are learning, applies to all letters. The letter on the next page has been used — with slight vari- ation to fit the specific conditions in each case — ^for Imore than a year by a large wholesaler, and in nearly all cases it brought a satisfactory settlement. Study the close, the last paragraph of ithe letter, carefully, and you will see that it has exactly the same effect as the close of the sales letter on page 354. In the collection letter close, the customer's motive — protecting his credit — ^is started on the task of settling the account. The customer is set to deciding whether it would be better to send a check or let the creditor draw, and if to draw, how it would be best to have the drafts come. The cases in which this letter did not bring back at least a letter declaring the debtor's intentions or desires were extremely few — and even that result is valuable to a credit man. But in most cases it brought a prompt settlement. Just to prove the effectiveness of the letters built on these new principles and illustrated on pages 354 and 356, let me quote S55 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE KREIDELL COMPANY CHICAGO Johnson Dry Goods Co., Thorp, Mich. Dear Sirs: There are two invoices on your account which are overdue, as you will note from the enclosed statement. Feb. 5 $131. 26 Feb. 22 234.10 Total $365.36 We realize that your purchases must be heavy at this season of the year and are glad to note a continuance of orders coming our way, but we must, both of us, see that we do not lose sight of the terms on which your trade can be profitably handled. Will you, therefore, look over the enclosed statement and see if you cannot send us a check for the overdue balance, or write us on what date we may draw on you. If you prefer not to send a check at once, shall we draw on you for both overdue invoices together at a convenient' date — say April 10 — or for one invoice on that date and the other 10 days later? Yours very truly, KREIDELL COMPANY Panel 176 THE POWER OF SUGGESTION Classroom psychology, with the implicit confidence it teaches in the power of suggestion, must be diluted when applied to hard business. Experience shows that while mere suggestion, as is claimed, may control experimental subjects in the laboratory, it will not, in business, make many people draw dollars out of their pockets and spend them. In the laboratory the constantly reiterated sug- gestion to a student-subject, "You should let your beard grow," may soon fruc- tify in a, s?t of whiskers on the student's face, as it is said to have done. 356 LETTERS THAT GET ACTION the close of other letters which have come under my observation. For example, I have before me a collection letter of a Boston wholesaler in which the writer went after the debtor in unmistakable terms. But here is the way he closed: "Thanking you in advance for your prompt attention to this matter, we are — " Do you think that spineless ending out of the ordinary? Well, then, read this close of another collection letter, other- wise strong: "We do a large volume of business at the very lowest possible margin of profit and we simply have to make close collections in order to buy goods of standard manu- facturers and at the same time keep our large stock up to the standard at all times. We remain, ." In both letters it is easy to see that an impulse to start the reader's motive is lacking. On the other hand, the thought in that second close, if put in the body of the letter, might, I dare say, have been converted into excellent fuel for the motive. Now the close of the two collection letters is not out of the ordinary. The same fault occurs in sales letters and others which appear in the mails every day. As a final example, read this close of a sales letter: "Trusting you will see fit to accept our offer and assuring you of our prompt attention, we beg to remain ." There you have another close which dashes water on a flaming motive. Summed up, the trouble with each of the three poor closes I have just quoted is that the reader, instead of a stimulus to action, gets a real "let-down." How many letters fall into that class ! I have in my file hundreds of them, and I suppose that if I had access to all the correspondence written in a single day, I would find thousands of letters that, in the final paragraph, retard the reader's motive for action. Many such letters, no doubt, convey a vivid idea, express it clearly, and have plenty of fuel for feeding a strong motive to act. 357 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE McKAY 8b HOWARD DETROIT, MICH. The R. B. Jameson Co. Chillicothe. Missouri. Gentlemen: I note from your letter of January 7 that you only sell your Model T Burner net cash 30 days. I don't know what your reasons are, nor do they concern me, and far be it from me to attempt to dictate your business policies. But you have only to look us up in Dun's or Bradstreet's to get an idea of what our pur- chasing volume must be; and your sales depart- ment has only to think a moment to realize how unnecessary it is for a plant having that pur- chasing volume to experiment with new equip- ment designs on any terms such as you ask. We have felt willing to try out your burn- er and, if satisfactory, to make it standard equipment, but if unsatisfactory, to call on you to remove it. Thirty days is too short for a test. You probably know better than I do which course would follow the testing of your type. I should think it would pay you, if you have confidence that your burner will stand up for us, to make an effort, and even a sacrifice, to get it established with us. But I leave it to you. Shall we continue to use our present type, or give your goods a trial? Sincerely yours, McKAY & HOWARD Panel 177 358 LETTERS THAT GET ACTION But at the wind-up they leave the motive resting on a dead center. Mind you, I am not maintaining that a letter which does not supply an impulse for action is bound to fail. I have seen many letters closing weakly that, nevertheless, brought results. But I have also seen results secured by letters that made not a single tangible effort to arouse an action motive. That kind of letter never pulls against competition, or against indifference, or against unwillingness to spend money or pay a debt. It fails when the reader is unwilling, as we might say, to get out and crank his own engine. That thought of cranking the engine is a good one to keep in mind when you anticipate that your reader's mind-engine will be hard to start. In such cases, of course, you must be careful to close with as strong an impulse to action as possible. For other letters you may be more careless — if you are ever willing to be careless. Personally, I be- lieve that every single letter that is written or dictated should be made as nearly right in every respect as there is time and ability to make it. Better to take too much pains than too little. Let me give you an example to prove my case. One of the best letter writers I have ever known is — what do you suppose? A purchasing agent! He has nothing to sell, nothing to collect, no complaints to adjust, no salesmen to coach. He dictates every letter — ^but .he dictates carefully and almost every letter he dictates is a masterpiece for its purpose. On the opposite page is a letter from his file. That letter was sent to a firm from which he wanted to get certain terms, those terms being contrary to the seller's policy. Read the letter carefully and observe how one big, concrete idea is conveyed, just as in a sales or collection letter. That idea, of course, is that the buyer can and will buy elsewhere unless his requirements are met — yet nowhere does the letter specifically so state. In other words, he gives a very definite idea that he will not buy unless his 359 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE A.W: SRAW COMPANY HETVYDRK BOSTON PEnLADELPtHA CLEVELAND PUBLISHERS rx>NDON CASS,HURON AND ERIE STREETS CHICAGO Mr. W.- T. Mailers Sheboygan Wisconsin Dear Sir: We are just putting to press the most important set of books for manufacturers that I know of — "The Library of Factory Management." After three years' work by a trained staff, the editorial work is almost complete and we are able to give FACTORY sub- scribers this chance to secure the books in advance of other manufacturers. "The Library of Factory Management" consists of six pro- fusely illustrated half-leather volumes (technical book size), detailing the most advanced practice in Production at every point from planning factory buildings to balancing estimated costs with the financial accounts Tho. first two volumes, now being delivered, and the other four volumes, still in manuscript or proof form, show that the set will take a place at the top among books on factory management for profit. But I need not go into detail. The editorial staff has done that in the attached postscript. Better yet, you can see for yourself, free of charge. We do not ask you to buy these books. We do ask you to see them — to inspect them as you would a new machine, and satisfy yourself that they will add dollars to your bank account month after month. We have not invested in them blindly, and we shall be well content with your decision after you leaf through the first two volumes So we make you this wide-open offer — we assume the full burden of proof — we do everything we know how, to show our abso- lute confidence that these books will make money for you. Just put your pen to the enclosed card and mail it. The first two vol- umes of "The Library of Factory Management" will come to you AT ONCE for fivo days, without charge. You can browse through them at will — and even that cursory examination will give you ideas which are worth money in your plant, ESPECIALLY JUST NOW. Never mind your check book — take no money risk. Sign and mail the^card. As a straight business proposition, won't you do this now? Very truly yours. Manager Book Sales Panel 178 360 LETTERS THAT GET ACTION terms are met, but he leaves the way open to return and buy later on the seller's terms. Still the anxious seller would not ordinarily get that thought. See also how the buyer arouses a motive for accepting his terms by saying: "You have only to look us up in Dun's or Bradstreet's to get an idea of what our purchasing volume must be." Combustible fuel for the Gain Motive — ^gain of future business — don't you think.'' Then the writer adds: "We have felt willing, if satisfactory, to make it standard equipment." More good fuel to feed the desire for gain. And the writer keeps the motive blazing with this thought: " it would pay you, if you have confidence that your burner will stand up for us, to make an effort, even a sacri- fice, to get it established with us." No pleading or bulldozing in that, but just fat, rich fuel for the flames of the desire to sell. And now observe the impulse that starts that motive actually working: "Shall we continue our present type or give your goods a trial?" That close, before one realizes it, starts the motive of gain for business answering, "give our goods a trial." Not to accept the writer's terms requires the reader deliberately to stop the wheels of his mind-engine and to reverse himself — a hard thing to do. (It might be well to mention that the letter did persuade the seller to ship the goods on the terms wanted by the purchasing agent). The purchasing agent's letter brings up a second point which must be considered in shaping the close of a letter; that is, to make it hard for a reader to decline the action desired. You have seen an example in the purchasing agent's letter. You may see it repeated in the close of one of Factory's letters, on the opposite page. In that letter the manufactur- er's Gain Motive is started on the simple action of, "Just put your pen to the enclosed card — ," "never mind your check book — ," "as a straight business proposition — ," and 361 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE HARPER TOOL COMPANY ST. LOUIS, MISSOURI Mr. T. L. Vance, Grant Park, Illinois. Dear Sir: Since you persist in ignoring our letters request- ing peaceful settlement of your account, we can only conclude that you prefer the troubles of a brush with our attorneys to paying this debt a day before you have to. Yours is the choice. One way, you have the use of our money for a few weeks longer at the expense of trouble, very likely notoriety, and certainly legal costs. The other way, you pay your debt now, and have the satisfaction of knowing it is out of the way. Which will you do? Not hearing within 10 days, we shall conclude that you prefer the first course we have mentioned and our attorneys will be instructed to proceed against you. Yours truly, HARPER TOOL COMPANY Panel 179 PRACTICAL PSYCHOLOGY You know that to start an automobile engine after your fuel is regulated and your spark set, you first apply an outside starter. In simple, untechnical terms, you give the engine an artificial push to give the real motive power a chance to get in its work. From that first light task it soon gains full headway — and your car is ready to move. That is physics. And likewise you know that if, instead of trying to start an automobile you were trying to sell one to a prospect, you would not wisely say at the close of your first talk, "Write a check for $2,000 at once and get your car.'' You would probably say "Let me give you a demon- stration." In other words, you start his buying motive off on something easy. That is psychology. In both cases you have followed one principle — helped the motive power to get started on some light, easy task, then directed its momen- tum into the larger, the final action. That is the idea behind every good close to a business letter. 362 LETTERS THAT GET ACTION HARPER TOOL COMPANY ST. LOUIS, MO. T. L. Vance, Grant Park. Illinois. Dear Sir: Since you persist in ignoring our letters requesting peaceful settlement of your account we can only conclude that you prefer the troubles of a brush with our attorneys, to paying this debt a day before you have to. Yours is the choice. We have placed all data in our attorney's hands with instructions to proceed against you in 10 days. You can now either ignore this letter, later answering in person either to the attorney or the court, and in the end pay- ing both bill and costs — or you can simply send us the amount of your bill by return mail. Merely fold your check or money order into this letter and the whole matter is settled. But be sure you do it BY RETURN MAIL or it will be too late. Yours truly, HARPER TOOL COMPANY Panel 180 363 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE so on. For him to decline to go through with the action requires him to reverse action and say, practically, "I don't care if it is a straight business proposition, I don't care if all I have to do is sign the card — I won't do it." And that is generally hard for many men to say or do. To hark back for a moment to the crowd in front of the circus show, such a close at the end of a letter which has really aroused a motive for action, is just like the unseen pushing of the "shills," which starts one moving forward to the ticket seller. Such a close puts one in the position of the man outside the tent. It makes it easier to continue to act than to come to a stop, turn around, and go back. To make this point still plainer, look over the letter illus- trated on page 362. It was written and tested by a New York publishing house. The writer made an effort to supply in his close an impulse to start action, but his close was like a self-starter that doesn't quite start. Study carefully this paragraph: "One way you have the use of our money for a few weeks longer at the expense of trouble, very likely notoriety, and certainly legal costs. The other way you pay your debt now, but you have the satisfaction of knowing it is out of the way." You can see that the paragraph gives a slight impulse to the debtor's Self-Preservation Motive by encouraging the decision to take the less troublesome course. Note, however, the final statement, which reads: "Which will you do? Not hearing within 10 days we shall conclude that you prefer the first course we have mentioned and our attorneys will be instructed to proceed against you." That close leaves the motive hung on a dead center. A test of that letter showed only fair results. The letter was then changed to the form shown on page 363. Results in- creased nearly 60%. Now in the light of what we have already learned, it is easy to see how this latter close not only suppUes the impulse to act, but makes it actually easier (mentally) for the debtor 364 LETTERS THAT GET ACTION to continue on that action and really mail the remittance, than to stop and resume his former attitude. In the close of the letter as first written, the phrase "not hearing from you in 10 days we shall — — " makes it easy for the debtor to say "All right, start something." But in the close of the revised letter, his Self -Protection Motive is started on the ease and simplicity of winding up the affair — "simply sending the remittance — ," and, "merely folding check or money order — ," and at the end he is led to consider a necessity for taking those simple steps quickly. In other words, keeping on and finishing the job is made easy. Now we are aware of two big points that go to make the close of a persuasive letter stimulate action. We have found that a letter to get action should first supply the little impulse — ^the push — the psychological self-starter — that sets the wheels of the motive in actual movement, even though that movement is directed only to deciding some minor or preliminary point of the real action. We have also learned that the close of the letter should make following the preliminary action easier for the reader than stopping and going back. Before going on and showing you how to apply these principles to your letters, let me give you one more example of what I'm driving at. On the following page you will find in a letter applying for a job, an excellent example of the application of both principles I outlined in the preceding pages. Note that although the Big Idea conveyed is the writer's value as a copy man, the motive he seeks to arouse in order to persuade the employer to give him a chance is the Duty Motive in the form of business justice. See how his close beginning in this way stimulates action: "Please put yourself in the place of an advertiser and con- sider me as a solicitor for your agency ." With that sentence he sets the employer's motive of busi- ness justice at work on the simple little job of thinking how he would like to be treated. And what advertising agent cannot quickly say to himself how he would act toward a 365 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE 555 COCHIN AVENUE Mr. James R. Early, Montreal, Quebec. PERSONAL Dear Sir: To cause one of your employees to lose his job is not my intention. But if any one of your employees has MY job--then it isn't his--every man has a place somewhere, and I want my own. If you have a copy writer working on mail order accounts who can't write a piece of copy as good as the sample enclosed, marked Exhibit 1, and which brought back inquiries at a cost of 53 cents, from which sales were closed at a cost of $6.10, when the lowest cost per sale had previously been about $10--then he has MY job, and his job is somewhere else. Isn't that about right? Isn't that the basis on which YOU go after accounts? Exhibit 2 pulled 144 inquiries from the Cosmopolitan, 28 from Motion Picture Magazine and 33 from Argosy. The average cost is about $1.40. EMiibit 3 is the only piece of copy that paid out on this proposition last year--it is the only one I wrote, but two other copy men had had a try at it before it CEime to me. If you have a copy writer who is producing mail order copy that doesn't pay like that, HE HAS MY JOB. Wouldn't you feel that way if another agency had an account for which you could get better results? I have other samples I could show you- -in five years' experience I have handled about every sort of mail order proposition there is. All I ask is a chance to show you. Isn't that all you ask of a prospective client? My name and address is H. A. Hornsby 555 Cochin Avenue Brooklyn My age is 27. I am a graduate of Williams. Please put yourself in the place of an advertiser and consider me as a solicitor for your agency--and then write me whether or not you will give me a chance to prove to you that we are both losers if my real job is with you and I'm not filling it. Yours respectfully, H. A. HORNSBY Panel 181 366 LETTERS THAT GET ACTION solicitor if he were the advertiser? Then the appHcant continued: " — and then write me whether or not you will give me a chance ." The employer, remember, has been set to thinking how fairly, if he were an advertiser, he would treat an agency's soUcitation of his business. So it is much easier for him to continue with that declaration and give this applicant "a chance," than to reverse himself and refuse the applicant an opportunity to demonstrate. The letter worked out that way and the copy writer secured the job. Now, then, when you boil down what we have learned so far about the close of a letter, you'll find that every good close of a persuasive letter ties very closely to the particular motive the letter has sought to arouse. In short, a close properly constructed not only supplies the impulse to act, but also it supplies some little job for the motive to act upon. That's a rather difficult point to grasp, I know, but if you will review with me that sales letter on page 354, my point, I think, will be clear at once. The motive of the letter is gain of quality in the style of separator to be bought, and gain of profit from its use. Now, by having that motive clearly in mind, the writer's simple task in closing was to pick some job on which that motive could get busy. He did it by pointing out the model on which the most gain would be hkely, if a purchase was made. Is that clear? Let me repeat that thought. The writer whetted the farmer's appetite for making the money offered by this type of separator. That was the motive. The impulse, the whip to action, the job for the motive is the way he set the farmer to deliberating over the size that would give the most gain. That was a job which the motive would pick up easily. You'll find the same idea in the letter on page 356. As this letter aroused the debtor's Self-Protection Motive (protecting his credit) the writer had to find a job which would set that motive speeding to action. He chose the 367 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE FREDERICK H. BARTLETT & CO. CHICAGO. ILL. Mr. C. H. Jasper Oak Park Illlnole Dear Hr Jasper: Suppose that for a long time you had considered buying a certain sob^ thing — an automobile, let's say. All of a sudden you make up your mind you want it. You go with the money in your pocket to buy. But you find that one machine — the car you'd built all your dreams around — gone! And you couldn't buy one like it anywhere without paying a great deal more than the regular price How disappointed you'd bel How much more eager than ever you'd be to get such a car — eager probably to the point of being willing to pay the extra amount asked. Of course, you can hardly expect to HAKE money out of an automobile — that's where a good investment beats it. But you can't have even the faintest desire to own either automobile or investment until you have thoroughly posted yourself on its every feature. And. once you've done this, it hardly pays to delay acting — buying. In two previous letters we told you Just a little of a tremendously promising investment opportunity — Bartlett's big. new, realty development — the "Fortune Spot." ffe prefer to think these letters somehow never reached your hands, for the response to each was so surprising that it seemed as though almost everyone who got them answered. These letters briefly dealt with a superb money-making chance open only to comparatively few. The few were to be picked from among Advance In- quirers, to whom we offered "ground floor" privileges and a special "inside deal." As we said before, hundreds Inquired. They wanted the facts. They got them And, influenced by nothing else but the facta, hundreds invested There are, however, several choice investment chances still open. That these would be snapped up in a few days is a moral certainty — if we published broadcast the complete story of the opportunity itselfl But to increase YOUR profit, and to bring this BIGGER profit to you QUICKER — — we are withholding any and all definite public announcements to make this last one in private: We will furnish full information — — we will give you the entire advance "Fortune Spot" story — — we will tell you simply and plainly the whys and wherefores of its money-making certainties, its golden possibilities — — we will make you a Preferred Customer of the big Bartlett organization and clearly explain how richly you can profit thereby — and we will do all this without the least bit of obligation to you — if you send in the enclosed card and say that you want mSrely to consider the proposition with an open mind. Panel i:2 368 LETTERS THAT GET ACTION thought of estimating which method of protecting credit would be most convenient. He was successful. You probably have used that identical principle a thousand times quite by instinct. For instance, you may have tried to persuade a friend to go with you to a ball game. You tried your best to get your friend's Self-indulgence Motive (the sport of seeing the game) aroused. You seemed doomed to fail until you craftily asked, "Who do you think is going to win, Bill — the Giants, or the Cubs?" And Bill's sporting motive got started into action on the job of picking his choice of teams. And he yielded to your invitation. A good salesman also makes use of the same 'principle. Have you ever had a book salesman work you up, uncon- sciously, to weighing the relative merits of the red leather binding and the green buckram — ^not that you had any in- tention of buying either, you thought, but just as a matter of preference? And then before you could stop he had you signed up for the set you had picked as your preference? He simply started you deciding your preference in bindings as a suitable kind of job for the motive he had aroused. And that is what you have to do in constructing a good close for a letter. Let us see how it works. On the opposite page is the body of a successful real estate operator's letter. How could we go about constructing a close for it that would stimulate action? We have learned that the first thing to do is to consider the action-motive aroused by the letter, and then seek for some easy preliminary task upon which that motive can be set at work. Well, we can see that the action motive in this letter is a form of Self-Preservation — ^fear of losing a chance to make money. What is suitable as a starting task for that motive? What is more suitable, or more natural, than to set the motive at guarding against overlooking any possibility to make money? Let's see, then, how near we have come in that deduction to the kind of close this letter really had. On the next page you will find all but the final paragraph of the close actually used. 369 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE Do you see how that close does exactly what we decided that it should? See how it sets the reader's fear of losing an opportunity at work — ^deciding not to take a chance on being prejudiced. Now do you, or don't you? If you want to forget once and forever the whole business. Or if you want to pass up till it's too late an an opportunity that must take first rank among any you have ever had — Sign the "No" side of the postal. But if you like to have before you the complete facts for calm, unprejudiced study — And if you are in position to allow a favorable later decision make money for you — SIGN THE "YES" SIDE OF THE POSTAL! But now the second step in constructing a strong close, we learned, is to make it easier for the reader to continue the action already started, into the complete action desired, than to halt and go back. In studying the difference between the closing paragraphs of the collection letter shown on pages 362 and 363, we saw this effect very clearly obtained by the final sentence on page 363. It directed the reader's mind into considering some par- ticular phase of the action just as though he were in the midst of it. In that letter, after the debtor's Self -Preservation Motive (protection to his credit) had been started at work on planning the ease of settling the affair, it was deftly set to considering the necessity brought out by the final sentence: "But be sure you do it by return mail, or it will be too late." In the letter of application that we studied on page 366 we saw this same effect obtained, after the employer's motive had been set at work considering himself as one of his own customers and the applicant as a salesman. That close set him to thinking about what he should write the applicant, as though it was quite settled that he should write. Now let us apply that simple principle to the real estate letter close printed on page 368 and see how it works. 370 LETTERS THAT GET ACTION The close so far has reached the point of the alternative — "Sign the 'yes' side of the postal." What should be done to make the prospect consider some phase of that action as though he had already decided on doing it? If our principle is right, it should be some thought of how, or when, or why, or some other point about signing "the 'y^s' side" of the card. Below I show the ending of that letter. Our principle is the one that was followed. Sign it now and see that it's dropped in a mail box before the last collection tonight. Now do you see how simple it is to work out that much discussed and much argued problem of "a strong close.''" Of course, as we become more and more used to applying this principle we shall not always stop at the mere settling of the essentials for our closing paragraphs. In order to get away from an appearance of sameness in our letters, or, in letters of extra importance, to get our "starting impulse" working with as little appearance of eagerness on our part as possible, we shall rapidly learn to shift the essentials of a good close into many different forms. For example, on the next page you will find a close for a very effective follow-up letter which was used by a western manufacturer. Now, at first glance, that close does not seem to fall in with the principle we have just discussed. But let us go beneath the surface of it. In previous letters a special dis- count had been offered the reader. In the opening para- graph of this letter the prospect is told that the rising costs of raw materials will necessitate withdrawing the special discount, but he will be given 15 days in which to take advantage of it. The action desired is a trial order for the manufacturer's goods. The motive for immediate action is Self- r igure A Preservation (fear of losing an advantage). We shall say that Figure A, above, graphically represents the final action desired. Figure B, on page 373, is the motive. 371 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE I don' t want to hurry you, but I have issued instructions that this pattern must be held for fifteen days until I have time to hear from each person in the territory lAere this special offer was made. Tour acceptance will not obligate you ~ if, when delivered, your Judgment tells you that you can afford to do without it, send it back at our expense. I trust that I have explained fully my reason for writing you at this time ~ I do not want you to feel that we are unreasonable in cutting off any advantage ^ich was extended to you before these new conditions came up. I would rather have you wire the order at our expense than to cause you to lose this opportunity on account of my oversight. So you need not hesitate a moment to use the tele- graph blank enclosed. THE MOTIVE Fen of Loslns an AitvantasB THE EASV CONHECTIHG PATH Using the Enclosed Telegram Panel 183 S72 LETTERS THAT GET ACTION THE MOTIVE Fear of Losing an Adyantae» Figure B Figure C Now analyze the close which I show on the opposite page, but for the time being omit consideration of the last sentence. The writer really does set the reader's motive at work on a preliminary job. In this example the thought is that a trial order will hold the opportunity open a little while longer. The writer did not say that in so many words — ^he did not want to appear too eager — ^but the effect of such a statement is there. Hence, in Figure C, below, I have placed the preliminary job of this letter; namely, a chance to hold the opportunity open a little while longer. Logically, the next point to consider is a method of linking motive and preliminary job to the action desired. In this case the last sentence "So you need not hesitate a moment to use the telegraph blank enclosed" does the work as indicated by Figure D. Now all that remains to be done is to put these figures together in the order I've mentioned and we have a complete diagram, not only of this particular close which we thought at first was different from the others, but of every good close shown in other letters in this chapter as well as a good close for any kind of a persuasive letter you may have to write. You'll find it at the bottom of the opposite page. When you have an important close to write, simply lay out on paper, or in your mind — ^paper is always preferable — the final action you desire from the reader, whether it be to send you an order, pay a bill, go to a dealer, instruct subordinates, call you on the telephone, write a letter, give you a job, or merely to do a personal favor. Next, write down just as we did above, the big motive for the reader's performing the action. Then. think out some minoi action you could set that motive busy on — ^just as we have seen' done — and write it as before. And finally, plan some little suggestion or encouragement 373 THE EASY CONNECTING PATH Using the Enclosed Telegram Figure D BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE KNIGHT KNITTING CO. PORTLAND, ORE. lllfis C. L. Murray Geneva Wisconsin Dear Uadan: ffe were very much pleased to receive your Inquiry and will do our best to give you th^ information you wish. Under separate cover we are sending you our latest catalog and we enclose some literature which we feel will be of i.nterest to you. As you will see by our catalog, we manufacture a complete line of hosiery and underwear. We sell our goods through our representatives, not through storekeepers, ffe have been selling our goods this way for the past 21 years and have built up an enormous business in all parts of the United States Several thousand representatives, both men and women, are making money for themselves and for us by selling our goods. They have built up a steady trade for themselves, and they find that every year their profits become greater and their work becomes easier. Our goods are not peculiar in any way They are what everybody wants. Just high grade hosiery and underwear of fine quality and remarkably low price So you see you do not need any experience to sell them They are easy to sell and those who buy them most always become steady customers Just a willingness on your part to do your share in making the goods known in your town will go a long way toward giving you permanent and profit- able business with a steadily increasing income and financial independence Selling our goods is not hard. If you only show them to people, they will see at once how much better they are than anything the local dealer can sell at anywhere near the price, for our goods, bought from regular dealers, with all the middle men's profits attached, would cost 50% more than you would sell them for. As to our terms, we give you a confinission of 25%. For instance, when yCu sell $100 worth of our goods, you make 825 for yourself. We prepay all the shipping charges so that you actually make one fourth on all you sell Doesn't this seem like a fair proposition? You may be sure we will help you to the utmost, if you take up the work. We will supply you with literature, selling arguments and samples of the goods; in fact we will give you the full benefit of our experience and advice and every advantage that has made possible the success of our representatives The same success awaits you, if you are willing to make a start. We only ask you to deposit a small amount for a sample outfit as evidence of good faith This money is returned to you when you have sold a certain amount of goods, so that the samples really cost you nothing. We take all the trouble and risk so you can begin the Tvork at once, for we know that if you will make a start, you will make a success of the work Sincerely yours, KNIGHT KNITTING CO. Panel 184 374 LETTERS THAT GET ACTIQN that will furnisli an easy mental path for the continuance of the preliminary action. When you have that diagram made for your letter's close you can then put it into any phrasing or wording that may seem expedient — ^but if you stick to the form of the diagram, you cannot help but get an effective close — one that stimu- lates action. Of course, you can point out to me, and I can point out to you, hundreds of letters that seem to have been effective without such an airtight close. I can also point out to you hundreds of big paying letters that close in just the way we have now diagrammed. For instance: On the opposite page is a letter from an underwear and hosiery house that was unusually successful in getting women agents to sell its goods. The close of the letter has been omitted. Suppose we diagram in the panel below what a good close for it should be like: THE MOTIVE Gain of Profits THE EASY CONNECTING PATH Someone Else May Get the Agency if You Delay - Apply at Once Panel 185 That's the kind of close our diagram would indicate, isn't it.? Now, let's see what the man who wrote the letter did. Here is the close he actually used : We suggest that you make a selection of the sample outfit you think best fitted for your re- quirements, fill in the enclosed application-f or- agency blank, and send them right in to us. We protect our representatives in their terri- tory and if you delay writing us, someone else in your town may get the agency. So let us hear from you by return mail. You see with what absolute certainty one can construct the effective close with the aid of a diagram. But there is an- other point brought up now by this letter and by others, 375 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE DANIELS 8b DICKSON UTICA, NEW YORK Mr. F. S. Ross, Beaver Dam, PennsylvEinia. Dear Sir: We gratefully acknowledge your mailing list of D D prospects for circularizing purposes. Now we want to make this list bring you in as many paying customers as possible, so we are returning it first to you for you to pick out the best names on it, then you send this SELECT list to us separately. We have found that it pays the dealer better to have his BEST prospects worked hard than to have a big list worked only a little, so, of course, you will want us to know which are the naimes it would pay best to work hard for you. Four times, we have found, is the right number of times to send mail to good prospects, and as each piece of mail costs us 2}i cents, we will spend for you 10 cents on each prospect. This runs into big money very fast. For instance, 1,000 names worked once will cost |25-- worked four times, it will cost a total of $100. We expect you will soon be doing enough business on D D to warrant spending that much, but at the very start we think selected names are better to start on, for then we can hammer them hard and make them into real customers. We feel sure, therefore, that you would rather pick out those you know to be the most progressive farmers and the best prospects, than to just have us take any names. Use the enclosed mailing list blank form, for it will save errors. Also, as far as possible, in order that we can send the most effective advertising matter to each name, check them thus, in the column indicated: "A" -- for "sells cream to creameries" "B" -- for "sells whole milk to cheese factories" "C" -- for "sells whole milk to bottlers" "D" -- for "sells whole milk and cream to consumers" Panel 186 Very truly yours, DANIELS AND DICKSON. 376 LETTERS THAT GET ACTION too. You probably have noticed often in what we call on the diagram "the easy connecting path," a reference to some- thing enclosed. In the close last noted it was to the "en- closed application-for-agency blank." In the close previously studied it was to an "enclosed telegraph blank." On the opposite page is a letter used by a large manu- facturer of a dairy supply, to fulfil a very delicate mis- sion. He solicits his dealers to send him lists of prospects for circularizing, and solicits them very persistently. But often a dealer, when he finally does send a list, sends in so many names that it would be out of the question to circularize them all. After working so hard to get any names at all from the dealer, to" persuade him to revise the list requires delicate handling. After much experimenting, this manufacturer has found that the above-mentioned letter secures the dealer's cooperation in almost every case — in fact, during the previous year, although nearly a hundred of these letters had to be used, only one dealer refused to make out the new list. You can readily see how absolutely the close of this success- ful letter follows our diagram of an effective close, but also note how effectively "the enclosed mailing list blank" cooper- ates in making an easy path for the action to follow. In fact, in many cases, a form of reply blank that helps to make action simple and easy may be of almost as much impor- tance as the wording of the close. It is really part and parcel of your "easy connecting path." In the dairy supply manufac- turer's letter to dealers, for instance, his close has started the dealer's Gain Motive — getting free advertising from the circularizing — at work on the consideration of what names are best, and has blazed an easy path for continuing this action by the suggestion about checking the class of dairying done. So the mailing list form, on which all this checking can be done easily and quickly, is just another encouragement to actually set about revising the list. The telegraph blank — all worded in accordance with the offer and ready merely to be signed and handed to a messenger boy or telegraph operator — which is enclosed with the letter 377 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE Panel 187 378 LETTERS THAT GET ACTION whose close was studied on pages 371 and 373 — is just a con- tinuation of the letter's close. In Panel 187, on the opposite page, the remittance blank and self -addressed envelop play an important part for the collec- tion letters of a large ice company, in smoothing out the way for prompt action. This form is an evolution of long experience. It secures payment of delinquent bills without embarrassment. It helps materially on small collections. This same sort of help in the way of a simple, easy-to- understand and easy-to-fiU-out order form or inquiry form would make action easier for many selling propositions. Many good selling letters, instead of being helped, are handi- capped by the order form or inquiry blank enclosed — simply be- cause the care and study given to the preparation of the letter was omitted when it came to the enclosure. I have seen order blanks and inquiry blanks so complex that I would not dare attempt to fill them out without long, careful study, even if I were quite worked up to buying. And requiring long, careful study by the reader will often stop the work of the aroused motive. This is particularly true in cases where specifications are part of the order. Almost any nature and quantity of specifications can be reduced to the comparative simplicity that makes it seem easy for the prospect to fill out and sign the order, if you go at them with the determination to make them simple. See how much more helpful to the action- motive of the letter is the order form for typewriter ribbons shown on the opposite page — ^than the usual commands to state "what machine you use," and so on. The same sort of simplicity and clearness could be imparted to a list of specifi- cations several inches long. Even the legal requirements which enter into the order forms of some propositions — as in the case of goods sold on instalments or on conditional sale — can be reduced to a less forbidding appearance if a conscientious effort is made. The order form of the typewriter company on the opposite page is a perfectly safe legal contract for all but a few states, yet 379 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE NO! Don't inform me further on your un- usual investment opportunity. Even if there is a chance for me to make money through it. 1 can't poasibly see my way clear to invest at this time So let'B forcet it! YES! Send me, at once, complete advance may consider it at my leisure. This ii a simple request for the facta: understand, please, that it's not to obligato me in any way. If my judgment tells me your proposition is worth further consideration iBter, I'll let you know. Name, Address Addregg x^^rrzrr^ y~>' Arnold r« \ \ Milwaukee, Wu. J ^'' 1 attach Hyte,f of \ .-" my telephone diriclory, | nchcj. P|„„ teji n,, how 1 I profitably adverti.c unth Ar- | THE COLORADO TIRE & LEATHER CO. MANUFACTURERS OF Durable Treads DENVER, COLORADO Special Introductory Cash Certificate This entitles lir. H. C. stelnmy. CUoago, 111. to the Special Introductory Discount of 30% from the regular price of the new 1917 Full Cover Model Durable Treads. This Cash Certificate when attached to the Information Blank will be accepted by us as 30% of the regular price whether or not cash is sent with this certificate. THE COLORADO TIRE & LEATHER CO. Panel 188 380 LETTERS THAT GET ACTION Wii» s-^ * -a Sird Kipling so IRVMG PLACe r^EW YORK Ur. Henry Allison Pittsburgh, Pa Dear Sir: You own six volumes of Kipling's works which we .gave you When Mr. Kipling learned that so many Americans were receiving these six volumes he consented to an arrangement by which you can add in uniform style, all of his other books, 19 volumes, so that you will be the owner of a magnificent 2S-volume set of Kipling's COMPLETE works — all that have been published. The royalty payments on the other volumes have heretofore been so large as to preclude a low price. One set of 25 volumes has been sold at S50. The Seven Seas Edition, tt limited edition, is being subscribed for at $138. If you will promptly take advantage of Mr. Kipling's special arrangement Sor your benefit, we will ship to you 19 new volumes, thus making a 25-volume Kipling set In absolutely uniform type, paper and binding, for only $1 a volume , payable SI a month. Furthermore, you will have a guarantee from us that you can add any future books that Mr. Kipling publishes, uniform with your set, for SI per volume . This Is a great opportunity. It means actually that for $19 payable at tl per month (or $17:10 if you prefer to pay in cash), you can own all the Kipling volumes published, for which others have paid $50, practically the same except for paper and binding, for which others are now paying $133. This is the first time that a collected set of Kipling has ever been offered at this low figure. When Hr. Kipling's cable came we made one edition out of paper purchased at the old price. (The price has more than doubled now.) Some Jets of that edition remain, and you can have one if you are prompt. Positively none can be furnished at this price when these remaining sets are gone . Send no. money. Simply sign the enclosed application. The 19 volumes will be sent express prepaid, and after you have received them and found out that everything is satisfactory, you can send us the first payment of $1, But for the reasons rtatod above, please act at once. Yours truly, p, s. — If your six volumes are worn or you have given them away lot us know and we will see that you get the entire 25-volume sot at $1 a volume. Panel 213 431 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE On the preceding page, however, is an example of how one firm has successfully handled such conditions. Here the main Stopper is displayed so as to stop the attention of all those interested in authors and books before they have a chance to think that the letter is just an ordinary circular letter. The idea behind it may be stated in this way: After you have once decided that the list of prospects demands a Stopper outside of your opening paragraph, the principle of constructing it is identical with the principle we have already learned. In the case of the letter above mentioned, for instance, the writer, after deciding that his list of prospects would prob- ably dismiss any ordinary book proposition without a hear- ing, decided to get his attention gripper at work before the reader could know what the letter was about. He made a clever use of the illustration on page 408. It showed him that as his Big Idea was a special opportunity offered by Mr. Kiphng himself, and that as the prospect's attention-rays were an admiration for Kipling, an effective Stopper could be made by working up some graphic representation of a message from Kipling. The exact typographical or illustrative method of getting such an effect might have varied with each one of us according to our tendencies, but I don't believe there is a single one of us now who could not have achieved the same final effect, if he had his chart as a basis to work from. And oh the next page you will see another effect of the same kind — this time results were secured by pasting a photo- graph on the letter. If you should chart out the prospect's attention-rays in connection with the Big Idea of*lhe letter you'd see how easily such unique and effective Stoppers can be originated. Exactly the same principle can be applied to working out the headings or illustrative ideas for advertisements, for postcards, circulars, "envelop stuffers" — even for envelops. There is a danger that prospects may throw away a letter without even starting to read it unless the attention is stopped. 432 LETTERS THAT GRIP ATTENTION Mr Fritz: The JIutomobile Directory Meet Mr. Esserman, purchasing agent of the Motor Car Equipment Company, New York. Excuse the interruption, Mr. Esserman, but I wanted this gentleman to actually see how a big purchasing agent has solved his catalog problem. Mr. Esserman told me that he started to keep his catalogs on the top of his desk. In a short time it was full. Then he tried filing them. They soon filled the files and He could never find anything |When he wanted it. Now each consignment of literature takes the path that this morning's pile is destined to take — ; to the receptacle directly beneath it. Now notice the hook that Mr. Esserman has screwed into the side of his desk conveniently near his left hand. This efficient hook holds the solution of his buying problem — one complete crossindexed, condensed, essence of all the thousands of catalogs that are sent him — The Automobile Directory If he wants to buy spark plugs he reaches for the "Red Book." In two seconds he has a complete list of every single manufacturer of spark plugs, trade names, buying information. The same holds good not only with every accessory, but also with every complete automobile and every other article large or small that is bought or sold in the automobile industry There are 50,000 Essermans in the automobile trade. There are a thousand Essermans in the automobile factories. Their com- bined purchasing power runs into many bjllions of dollars. Yours very truly. President p. s. — If you will sign and mail the enclosed postcard, I will tell you how you can turn the buying service that The Auto- mobile Directory gives to these men into a tremendous selling power for you. Panel 214 433 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE SYCAMORE FARM TRENT, OHIO EGGS NEW- LAID FOR EASTER Mr. Eric Allen Boston, Mass. My Dear Mr. Allen: I have eggs to sell for Easter, »hlch will be ne»-lald Just oefore the holidays. Since you have not yet tried Sycamore Farm eggs, brought from the farm to your door in an hour, will you consider this spicial Easter offer? I am not going up on my prices for eggs during the Easter holidays On the contrary. If you order four dozen (or more) of my eggs using the enclosed order blank, I will deliver them at your door! the Fridajr or Saturday before Easter, for 30 cents a dozen. These eggs I will guarantee to 'fee not more than from one to throe days old on delivery at your door. In addition to their absolute freshness all my eggs are large and brown and of the best possible flavor, as they are produced by hens fed a balanced grain ration approved by the Department of Agriculture. The nests are kept entirely fresh and clian, and free from all alien matter or disin- fecting agents. This is an important point in egg production, as eggs very quickly absorb a flavor and bacteria from an unsanitary condition of the nests and hen houses Eggs should be as carefully guarded fro. contamination as any other food product Do you know where your eggs come from, and how they have been cared for? Easter is .a time when eggs are plentiful, and the prices low. But it is also a time when, you should insist on getting only the best and freshest. If you do not keep hens yourself and have your own eggs, why not take this opportunity to get Sycamore Farm Eggs? One trial will convince you of the difference between store eggs and these eggs straight from the farm Order at once and make sure of the best ewis for Easter. I can guarantee to fill only the early orders An immediate reply on the enclosed postcard is alt that is necessary to bring- the eggs to your door the day before Easter Very truly yours. Panel 215 434 LETTERS THAT GRIP ATTENTION There is, occasionally, a chance that they may never take it from the envelop. On the opposite page are two examples of how the Stop- per has been made to begin its work on the outside of the envelop. However, none of these special schemes are anything but a physical or typographical adaptation to the one funda- mental principle of Stoppers that we have learned. In the book letter, on page 431, and the trade directory, on page 433, the Stopper is merely an application of our principle — ^the novel "stunts" by which the Stoppers in these two cases were illustrated is only a matter of the physical layout. On the envelop at the top of the opposite page see how the Stopper is purely a result of matching the Big Idea of the letter — the great charm and originality of O. Henry's books — with a visualization of the prospect's attention-rays — one of them being for all interesting literature. This would easily suggest the value as a Stopper of some peculiarly origi- nal quotation from O. Henry. Then to caricature this quo- tation and put it on the outside of the envelop, where it would surely be seen, was a logical sequence that could occur to almost any of us. In the second example, the same process of charting and thinking is shown. It is concentrated thinking of the Big Idea in your letter in connection with the attention-rays of your prospect that makes Stoppers effective. Our system of visualizing the pros- pect's attention-rays as though they were the rays of a searchlight is merely an aid in pinning your thoughts down to essentials. Try this plan in every letter that you fear may not grip the attention it deserves, and you can hardly fail to think up an effective, often a unique and original Stopper. But do not fall into the error of thinking that something unique and original is necessary or always best. Often, if you have arranged the features of your idea in accordance with the principle laid down in the fourth chapter, the feature you have found to be one most easily to be grasped will prove 435 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE also the best kind of a Stopper from the prospect's attention. Here, for example, is the way a successful letter from a business college opened: Dear Miss Swineford: Yesterday we received four calls for young women stenographers and bookkeepers. This opening was simply one feature in the Big Idea of the letter — that the school's course insured success. It had been selected as the easiest feature with which to begin unfolding the idea. A chart also showed it to be an effective Stopper for the prospect's attention-ray of Opportunities to Earn Money. The utmost striving for something unique would not have bettered the effect that was suggested by the chart. This thought holds particularly true when the visionary or negative idea is used — if the visionary idea itseff has been carefully chosen it will nearly always have a leading feature that has possibilities as a Stopper. Then, too, when pains have been taken to enlist the reader's sympathy to or agreement with the features of the idea, as we learned to do in the fifth chapter, it often gives the opening feature the effect of a Stopper. I have in front of me one of the follow-up letters of a binder manufacturer that illustrates this point. The Big Idea in it is that: "In the catalog you received recently are illustrated the best types of looseleaf binders, no matter for what purpose." One of the first features, of course, had to be: "You recently received our book of binders." Now, in analyzing the reader's probable mental reaction to each feature it would be easy to see that the prospect's most probable reaction to that first feature would be some- thing like, "Well, what of it.?" So to establish a mutual feelirig, the wording of the feature was changed to: "Do you remember sending in a request for our book of binders a short time ago? It was mailed the same day and we assume it reached you o. k." 436 LETTERS THAT GRIP ATTENTION You see what an eflFective Stopper that simple feature becomes for the business executive's attention-ray for details of his business. Here is another example: A manufacturer, whose pros- pects are women wage-earners mostly in small towns, took the same kind of Stopper for his third follow-up letter. He said: Dear Madam: It is really your turn to write, but as you have not answered either of my former letters I am going to write again. Notice that the writer simply took a feature of his Big Idea, namely, "I have written you twice explaining my proposition" — ^and engaged the reader's sympathy by chang- ing it to "It is really your turn to write." Then, knowing that one of the attention-rays of his particular class of pros- pects was for what we might call "doing the right thing by a friend," he has let the first feature of his idea serve as the Stopper for attention — ^and it served the purpose well, too. This brings up a point that may prove helpful to you, that is, limiting the 'possible attention-rays of prospects. In charting the probable attention-rays of your prospects don't try, don't think it necessary, to consider every attention-ray possible to your prospects. You can use only those that have some possible bearing on your proposition. So, by first getting your Big Idea down on paper, its features ar- ranged, and all other points covered, you can then confine yourself to charting out only those attention-rays that offer some chance of being useful to you. As a rule, it is always better to leave all thought of attracting attention until the rest of your letter is complete. Then you may find, as in the example just noted, that your Stopper is ready. Or, if not that, you may find that you have the nucleus for one. The letter on page 434 is a good illustration of what I mean. In this instance fuel for the motive for the first sentence of the letter was selected as "I shall have eggs which will be new 437 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE laid just before the holidays to sell for Easter." Later on, when visualizing the prospects' attention-rays which would have a possible bearing on the proposition, naturally an attention- ray was disclosed for "things to do for Easter." See how simply this suggests the typewritten line at the top of the letter: "Eggs new-laid for Easter." This use of some hit of the motive-fuel as an attention-staffer is often possible. In that restaurant letter which we studied in detail in recent problem sections, for example, a complete and effective Stopper was supplied, without addition or change, by this motive-fuel: "I'd give you a dime to see you eat your first piece of Anna's lemon pie." Many other successful selling letters have their attention- stoppers built in this same way — either from the motive-fuel itself, or based upon it. Now you see the advantage of postponing all thought of how you may attract the prospect's attention, until you have all the other points in your letter carefully worked out. Not until the letter is otherwise complete, need you visualize the attention-rays of your prospects that have any bearing on the idea or motive in your letter. Then, when you have to consider gripping attention, consider that the attention of your prospects is just like a big searchlight and that each ray represents some one particular kind of interest or curiosity. Then study which one of those rays is nearest in line, or most closely related to, the Big Idea or the motive in your letter. When you have, by this process, found the attention-ray that will most surely light up the necessary interest or curiosity in your letter's Big Idea or motive — or, in other words, when you have found what kind of interest or curiosity your letter's Big Idea or motive will most quickly appeal to — your job is to see that an appeal to that interest or curiosity is brought into prominence at the very start of your letter. If the opening feature of your Big Idea, or the opening motive-fuel constitutes such an appeal, then that is your best Stopper. But if it does not constitute such an appeal, 438 LETTERS THAT GRIP ATTENTION you must add something to it — build an artificial Stopper, just as highway commissioners paint white the fences near a dark or risky pass in the road, or an outdoor advertiser puts lights on a sign at night. When you fear that the prospective reader's attention might not get as far as reading the opening sentence of your letter, put the Stopper at the top of the letter- head, as we have seen some writers do. If you should fear that the prospect's attention might not even get so far as to open the envelop, then put the Stopper on the envelop itself, as we have also seen done. That is the simple formula by which you can be as nearly sure as you can be sure of any- thing in doing business at a distance, that your idea will get full attention from the one to whom you write. SUMMARY WE have now covered the eight essential requirements in the knack of writing good letters. We have seen the advantage of sizing up a letter's com- plete work — the "load" it must carry — before starting to write or dictate, and we have learned a system for making that size-up. When the work is simply to convey a plain idea to one who has a self-interest in the idea, we have the plan described in the second chapter of picking out the essen- tial features that distinguish the idea. When the idea is one to which our size-up indicated the reader may be indifferent or opposed, we can apply the principle in the third chapter of arousing interest through a Visionary or Negative Idea. In the fourth chapter we saw how to make our meaning clear to the reader when we anticipate that our idea will be quickly grasped by a person unfamiliar with it. We all know that if a man is described to us having a wooden leg and cross-eyes, we are pretty sure to recognize him no matter which feature is described first. But if he is described to us by the shade of his eyes, con- tour of his face, set of his chin and his general bearing, then for us to get a recognizable idea of him we must have his features described in proper order. BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE Then we came to the work of making our letters express sincerity — which is identical with making them express an honest and agreeable personality, by means of creating mutual sympathy between ourselves and the reader. When a letter must not only convey an idea and win confidence in it, but also must secure a definite action, we can apply the knack of exercising persuasion — by discovering the motive that would prompt such action and then feeding to that motive the fuel which will impel it. And in the preceding chapter we saw how to start a motive into action — ^by the right kind of close. Now we have seen how to stop attention and focus it on our Big Idea. It would be nice if we could stop there. But, we are only now at the stage of a manufacturer who has perfected his product. As he must then design shipping packages for his product, so we must know how to design a proper dress for our letters. In the next chapter, therefore, we shall see the rela- tion between the ideas in our letters and the stationery on which they are written, and the relation between the motive aroused by our letters and the circular matter that accom- panies them. And then all those principles and formulas, that we have taken up one at a time, will be put together. 440 PROBLEM SECTION VIII IF you have ever studied courses in business correspondence or read other books on the subject, you may think that I have been disagreeing with some of them. Well, you're right. I do disagree with some things that have been taught, but not always as a matter of theory. However, we must not forget that some splendid theories don't work out. Because theories are dangerous in a work of this kind, I have eliminated them and confined my work in this book to testing and proving just three kinds of principles. These are: 1. Principles I have learned and proved through my own personal experience; 2. Principles learned and proved by System through its correspondence with thousands of firms and individuals; 3. Proved principles that System's editorial investigators have found in use by other firms. Where this book differs most from other books on business correspondence is in the relative importance placed on various points and the order in which they are studied. Other writers, for instance, begin with the opening of a letter, but it has been my experience that expressing the idea is more impor- tant. A good beginning is always important, but we all know that even with a bad beginning we have a chance for success if we know how to carry the job through to completion. And it is equally true that a bad beginning in a letter does not necessarily ruin it if the idea is put across with force and vigor. Some other writers lay stress on the "you" element in a letter, but practical experience has taught me to prefer a "you-and-I" atmosphere. 441 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE Also, others attach much importance to good English and to avoiding hackneyed, stereotyped phrases. But I have learned by hard business experience that if the idea is con- veyed by the necessary features, then stereotyped phrases and even poor English will be overlooked. It is said that Lincoln had a very unattractive speaking voice and that he made a poor appearance on the platform because of his un- gainly limbs and crude gestures. But my! How he could convey his ideas, create sympathy, and arouse the motives for action. Now the style of construction and grammar of a letter, or any other written work, is parallel to a speaker's modulation of voice, his gestures, and stage presence. The better English you use the better for you — ^but English is the finishing touch to a letter! And as I told you at the start, it is not the purpose of this book to make you a finished writer, but to teach you how to think out letters that bring home the bacon. If your command of English does not happen to be good, or if your knowledge of grammar and composition is weak, you ought to study English. However, I don't mean to urge you, a busy man, to devote your leisure hours to the classroom or to writing "compositions," as so many teachers of English require. You can learn English by reading good books. And when you read books for the sake of the English, notice the author's way of expressing himself. Note the length of sentences. Observe his word choice. Study the verbs he uses. Or, after you have read over your mail for the day, go over the letters again and pick out words or tricks of expression which please you. (Here is where that word file you outlined in the fourth chapter will come in handy.) A third method of improving English is to get a college text- book on English. Keep it on the library table and read it once in a while. But even if you don't study English, if you prefer to cling to your own style of writing letters, even if it be crude, put in some good practise on the fourth, sixth, and seventh chapters. Creating sympathy and arousing motives for action are really the fundamentals of good letter writing. 442 LETTERS THAT GRIP ATTENTION Let me caution you. If you take up the study of composi- tion, or have taken it up, never get so engrossed with writing "crisp, snappy, business-building EngHsh" that you put it ahead of visuahzing the Big Idea, expressing sincerity, exercis- ing persuasion, stimulating action, and gripping attention. It is very easy to make such a mistake. I know a sales manager — or rather an ex-sales manager — of a large business, who was originally a writer of masterly sales letters. But they were crude and full of hackneyed, conventional phrases such as "Your esteemed favor to hand," "In reply to yours of recent date I beg leave to say," and so on. After they got in action, his letters did convey the Big Idea so clearly and expressed so much sincerity and human sympathy, and worked on motives for action, so well, that they kept customers in line and kept the sales force on its toes. Unfortunately for him, this sales manager became interested in using better English. Ordinarily that is commendable, but in his anxiety to write correctly he made his sales letters and bulletins examples of good English instead of stimulants to action. The results were noticeable in the attitude of the men toward him and in the tenor of customers' replies. Real- izing that something was wrong, he determined to find out at one of the summer conventions of salesmen. At the first ses- sion he told his men he noticed that they weren't showing as much "pep" and as much sympathy with him as formerly. "Now," he asked, "what do you do when you get my weekly sales bulletin? What do you do, Cooper?" and he singled out one of his best men. "Why," replied Cooper, who was too valuable a man to be afraid to tell just what he did, "the first thing I do is get out my dictionary and look up the big words." That is a true story, and, as I said, the man is now an "ex"sales manager. The moral I draw from that story is this: if you now write in a labored, conventional style, or don't use good grammar, learning to express your ideas by visualizing the features of them is enough to study at first. These new methods will 4"43 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE automatically breed the habit of using less hackneyed phrases and unnecessary verbiage. Let this habit take its natural course. After you have it started, study the simple rules of composition, but don't try to apply all the rules at once. Take your time. Grow into the habit of writing well. A man learning to write better English is like a left-handed base-ball player learning to bat right-handed. If the ball player changes gradually he soon acquires the knack of batting right-handed, but if he tries to change suddenly and if he forces himself continually to think about the change, he runs the risk of batting at the balls right-handed, but only batting at them. So with English. Try always to write simple, grammatical English. But be sure not to let your endeavor to write good English interfere with the purpose of your letter. The idea of the letter — not the English in which it is written — comes first. Now let's turn to a review of our work in the previous prob- lem section. I gave you the body of a certain letter — that of a packing case manufacturer — and then charted the elements of an effective close for it. I then quoted the way "the pre- liminary job" in this close had been worded and left you to work out "the easy connecting path" between that and the final action desired. The complete letter as it was used is shown on page 411. Turn to it and compare the original work with your own. The easy connecting path between the preliminary job and the final action, you remember, is to make it easier for the reader to keep on the path and to take the final action, than to refuse. See how true to form is the close of the letter. Consider the last two paragraphs. Easily the reader is started to thinking that sending a mattress for specimen packing is easy. The experiment costs nothing and the rest of the paragraph is rather indefinite — something that can be done at any time later. But, the last paragraph beginning "give the necessary instruc- tions now" starts to pin the reader's indefinite resolution down to a serious consideration of the proposition. "You are a busy man and might forget it if you put it off,'" has just the effect 444 LETTERS THAT GRIP ATTENTION we have learned to strive for — it subtly puts in the prospect's mind the thought that he has really determined to consider this packing idea seriously — and makes it easy for him to turn to his secretary and issue the order. A little practise and you will find this idea of charting the close to be a wonderful help. The answer to the second problem — the close of a System letter which was charted in the preceding problem section — will be found on page 418. In giving you this problem I wanted you to test yourself in translating a chart of the close into suit- able wording. In the third problem you had a chance to try yourself on both charting and writing. You will find the complete letter reproduced on page 431. I want you to study very carefully the comparison of your own close with the one used. If you did not get the proper elements from your chart, make a new chart with the successful close to guide you, and study into the "why" of each step. Disregard the postscript on the original letter, as this is a special offer with which we are not concerned in this work. Give the same careful study to the comparison of your fourth problem with the close of the original letter shown on page 434 with the order card enclosure. If you have found any shortcomings in your own work, check them up with the foregoing chapter, for every close in these letters is a good interpretation of the principle explained. Mere differences in wording are not shortcomings- — the big point is to see that the fundamentals of the closing paragraphs you have planned agree with those shown in the actual letters. There is no better practise work possible that I have ever seen. Submitting your practise work to a teacher for criticism, as is done in most correspondence school courses, seems a little more complete, but when applied to a subject like letter writing it does not fill the requirements of a practical business man. You would then get only the opinions of another man, and opinions, even from the most expert letter writer, can be nothing but opinions until put to the test of actual use. 445 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE But by practising on the problems given in this book and then seeing how those identical problems have been success- fully met in real business, you get not the help of an individual, but the help of practical experience. As in the next chapter we must devote all the space possible to samples of effective letterheads, envelops, and enclosures for all kinds of business, I am going to take our practise ex- amples in Gripping Attention from the preceding chapters. But please work out your own solution carefully and fully before you refer back to the actual letter — this is for your own benefit and it is important. You'll find these letters illustrated in preceding chapters. Problem 1 For the first problem, I'll give you the body of a letter applying for employment. In the panel on the next page I have charted the probable attention-rays you could safely attribute to the reader of the letter or, in fact, to any man- ager of a business depending on advertising and customers' good will. Read the letter which you find below, and then pick out the attention-ray to which you could most easily appeal and try your hand at building up a forceful Stopper from the Big Idea which you find in the letter. If any of your employees has MY job -- then it isn't his -- every man has a place somewhere, and I want my own. If you have a copy writer working on mail order ac- counts who can't write a piece of copy as good as the sample enclosed, marked Exhibit 1, and which brought back inquiries at a cost of 53 cents, from which sales were closed at a cost of $6.10, when the lowest cost per sale had previously been around |10 -- then he has MY job, and his job is somewhere else. Isn't that about right? Isn't that the basis on which YOU go after accounts? Exhibit 2 pulled 144 inquiries from the Cosmopolitan, 28 from Motion Picture Magazine, 33 from Argosy. Average cost about $1.40. Exhibit 3 is the only piece of copy that paid out on this proposition last year -- it is the only one I wrote, but two other copy men had had a try at it before it came to me. 446 LETTERS THAT GRIP ATTE]S[TION If you have a copy writer who is producing mail order copy that doesn't pay like that, HE HAS MY JOB. Wouldn't you feel about that way if another agency had an account for which you could get better results? I have other samples I could show you --in five years' experience I have handled about every sort of mail order proposition there is going. All I ask is a chance to show you. Isn't that about all you ask of a prospec- tive clienf? My name and address is H. A. Hornsby, 555 Cochin Avenue, Brooklyn. My age is 27. Graduate of Williams. Please put yourself in the place of an advertiser and consider me as a solicitor for your agency -- and then write me whether you will give me a show to prove that we are both losers if my real job is with you and I'm not filling it. Yours respectfully. Opinions of Customers- Efficiency of Employees- Results from Advertising- Panel 216 When you have performed the work justoutUned, to the best of your abihty, turn to the seventh chapter, where you will find the original letter on page 366. You may have thought that as the Big Idea of the applicant's letter was his ability to pro- duce results from advert' sing, the attention-ray for that sub- ject was the best to strive to attract. The writer of the origi- nal letter did not build his Stopper on that Idea and he was right. That is why I picked this letter as a problem for you. 447 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE I want yoU to see for yourself the necessity for studying the attention-rays and their relative value for your proposition. Any manager of a mail order business, we grant, is probably more interested in the results of his advertising than in any other phase of his business. But if you study the situation as an applicant should do before writing his Stopper, you will appreciate that the attention-ray for results of advertising is undoubtedly being played for and "flagged" by more seekers of business from the mail order man — by advertising solicitors, printers, paper houses, and so on — than any other attention- ray. So to get a keener brand of attention and lift our appli- cation out of the rut from the very start, a Stopper built to catch the attention-ray of Efficiency of Employees would be indicated by close study of the chart. This important point was brought out in the preceding chapter. Problem 2 Now below is the body of a sales letter for a baby car- riage manufacturer. This letter was mailed to a list of new mothers secured from the birth records. With that knowledge of who the prospects are and what idea should be conveyed by the letter, you are to chart the attention- rays, select the best one to "flag," and then write the Stopper. Never a child came into the world but was worthy of as good a cart as could be afforded. We take pride in the handsome, comfortable, stylish little carts we make. We would rather make a good cart for a little round babe than the best automobile that runs, and no one, we hon- estly believe, makes a better one. For 20 years we have been making them — experi- menting with them — learning to make better ones all the time. All the little points that make for baby comfort and health — and all the little points that go to make a proud, stylish little turnout for the most inspiring sight in all the world — a mother and her child — have been observed and considered by us. Devoting ourselves entirely to the making of chil- dren's things, we understand full well the importance of price to you. 448 LETTERS THAT GRIP ATTENTION And we long ago determined that our policy should be to offer every mother the chance to have for her child a cart that is fully worthy of the occasion, at a fair and reasonable price. We early determined to save her the unnecessary profit that the middle men usually make — the wholesaler and the retailer — to sell our carts direct to the con- sumer. Another advantage in this method is the wide range in selection of color and grade of upholstering. You don't have to offend your good taste, as you probably would if you had to buy what a local market affords. The catalog sent you illustrates and describes our many handsome styles. We know that you will read it carefully — because such an 'important matter as the se- lection of baby's cart requires care, doesn't it? Then when you have picked out just the one you desire, our order blank gives very clear directions so that there will be no mistake about getting just what you selected. And we ship promptly and all charges prepaid. Yours sincerely, BETTER CARRIAGE MFG. COMPANY The original letter for your second problem will be found on page 252. If you are growing familiar with the principle of Stoppers, explained in detail in the foregoing chapter, your work on this problem should be pretty accurate. Problem 3 For the third problem, I am giving you, below, the body of a letter used by the Addressograph Company. This letter is mailed to lists of firms that are known to be doing direct advertising and circularizing. You are to chart the attention- rays of such prospects and select the best ray to "flag" and perform the work. This is going to be a fine test of your mastery of the last chapter, so work it out carefully. Several times during the past year I have received circulars from a big eastern advertiser. Each time my name and address on the envelop has been blurred and smudgy -- almost illegible. Every time I receive a poorly addressed circular from this prominent concern, I wonder how many hundreds of 449 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE addresses they send out that CAN'T BE READ -- and as a result, how many are never delivered. What a loss inaccurate addresses must cause! Think of the wasted postage, the delays in mail delivery, and above all, the LOST SALES OPPORTUNITIES which is the result of faulty addressing. What a great percentage of this loss --in your OWN Advertising Department -- could be prevented with the Addressograph 1 Why not determine NOW to eliminate the waste of hand addressing --to secure the utmost in ACCURACY, ECONOMY, and EFFICIENCY, in handling your important lists? Today, at no cost to you, is your opportunity to learn how the Addressograph will help you. Mail us the enclosed card for more SPECIFIC information. Yours very truly. When you have that last problem worked out, turn to Panel 62 on page 122. You will notice in the letter which you will find there that no "artificial" Stopper at all was used. One of the attention- rays of such a list would surely be for Other People^s Circu- lars. If you didn't have such an attention-ray charted, it was because you had not studied the situation carefully enough. And when you had picked such an attention-ray, a study of the "features" of the idea should have shown you that that first "feature" of "Circulars received from an eastern adver- tiser" was Stopper enough — none could be stronger. Next time, after we have analyzed the matter of letterheads, envelops, and enclosures, we are going to make a general re- view of all the points covered and learn how to put them all together. 450 PART IX PLANNING LETTERHEADS, ENVELOPS AND ENCLOSURES CHAPTER IX PLANNING LETTERHEADS, ENVELOPS AND ENCLOSURES WITH the details of thinking and writing letters dis- posed of, we shall turn in this chapter to the mechanical side of our problem and devote all our attention to stocks, layouts, colors, and other items that make up a well- balanced business letter. First I shall give you ideas on letterheads and envelops and then I shall turn to enclosures. So that we may start from common ground and get the cor- rect viewpoint on how a letterhead and an envelop should be planned, let us go back to the very rudiments of letter writing. We write and mail letters for just one purpose — to transmit our ideas. If the necessity for transmitting an idea to some- one by mail came to us suddenly, as it probably did years ago to some business man, our only concern — outside of expressing the idea, winning confidence for it, persuading action on it, and getting attention for it^ — ^would be to secure a piece of paper big enough to contain the letter's "load" and an envelop big enough to contain the piece of paper. But as this neces- sity for transmitting an idea to one person developed into the necessity for transmitting ideas to one person every day, then to two a day or six a day or a dozen a day, we would soon be put to the necessity of selecting and laying in a stock of paper and envelops that would make our work easier. So far so good. We should then have arrived at that stage in the history of letter writing when firms and individuals began to standardize their letter sheets and envelops. But at that stage, the effects — the results— of our letters would have assumed an increased importance. When a job has to be done several times every day, doing it effectively 453 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE becomes much more important than when it has to be done only occasionally. So, in addition to being as careful as possible to convey our ideas clearly, to win confidence, exercise persuasion, and grip attention, we would have to take more pains to see that the paper and envelops by which our letters' "loads" were transported were safe, efficient vehicles. . Isn't that about the way letterheads and envelops were developed? At any rate, that is the present basis on which to decide the effectiveness of a letterhead or an envelop. Ask yourself, "Is it a safe, efficient vehicle for transporting the 'loads' of my letters?" In other words, as your letterhead or envelop is the means of transportation for your letters, it should be chosen just as transportation for merchandise is chosen. A manufacturer does not order his goods transported by express or by freight or by mail merely because he likes one method better than the other, or merely because one method is cheaper or speedier. He considers first the goods — -what method of transporta- tion is safe for them; second the customer's convenience— what method would be prompt; third himself — what method would be economical. And his choice is the method that most nearly fits all three requirements. So with letterheads. In selecting them you should first consider what sort of "loads" your letters carry. If in your business you have nothing to transmit by letter but plain, positive ideas — if you do not intend to solicit new business, if you have no complaints to mollify, no personal or business prestige to create, no action to persuade — then, as far as your letter's "load" is concerned, a letterhead bear- ing your name and address, like that at the top of the op- posite page, will serve. But be careful. Before deciding definitely, you should consider the people to whom you write. If they know your business or know why you are writing and can quickly connect up a letter from you with their own interests, or if th^ kind of 454 LETTERHEADS, ENVELOPS, ENCLOSURES JOSEPH HENLEY 14 West Aeam Sirect New York JOSEPH HENLEY Industrial Engineer U West Acom Street New York STAFF OF JOSEPH HENLEY Industrial Engineers Tea Yean Chief of Expertmeatal Divtsioo. Mercury Electric Company COMPLETE EOUIPME^^^ FOR— CbemJcal AdiItmi of ProdocU Expaflmenul Work FroesuloE tad Factory Routine TlD* mod Motion Studln Plant SritrtB C^aa^Q/ii?/i^ Lor (Dry i ?fairLn i ;THth y IB-eO-£X SOUTH MICHISAN Ave '<" A DOF'T C Toa oaa eithir Moapt nub buliuia II aa ocBiaa to yon^-or yoa can be a basLnaas '•) bolllar. I* yon wait until paopla gat raady 0\ROIJNn ^^ *"^ ^'" — ' osrtalD proportloo will otBM -J . ^r^'p •=*> y<™ — '0 "■ ••'•t you baT^— to aik your (j;^Vjt prioa— 2«ad to oanjpftra botli bat and prloa wltb arezy othar abop Id town — tbay are "prim ouotomara", and bacaoaa they oome In moatly "Jost to loOV— thay're hard to aell. BUT — If yoa oan create a daaira for your hata— 70a sm or«atlnB-a«> baainaaa Hai. will attract Aat we will call "atylo onatomars"— who want hata-first axi4 often i-^Oio will pay for the taaat aad neaeat— who will ba eaay to aall, beoaoaa Chay are oooTlnoad before thay enter year etore Uiat yoa bare the rl^t tUnic for them. To da thle — adTartlfl»— but adrertlae ri^t. The ouatomar ie qolciE to raoogolza tba "aBart ■Tinir mi t both la gaaiM and nethoda — they won't tell yoa If yos'ra in a rat — bat ala^plj 80 aooertiere elae* Panel 217 455 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE "loads" your letters carry do not require any such knowledge on the reader's part, then the plain name and address card is enough. But if your letters go to people who are strangers and who might not be able to grasp the full significance of your idea until they know your line of business, then you'll need letterheads like the one second from the top of the preceding page. Finally, as you decide upon a letterhead for even such simple propositions as those we have been considering, that is, when no solicitation of business, no persuasion, no particular seeking for personal trust, is required, you should consider the letterhead questi )n from a third angle. You must consider it from your own point of view. How elaborately can you afford to go into the letter and envelop proposition, and how elaborately do you want to go into it? You might personally want to go into it on a very moderate, economical scale, using light, cheap paper and plain printing. But if the nature of the ideas you have to convey to your reader is such that cheap paper and poor printing would hurt their reception, then you should compromise between the kind of stationery you would like to buy and the kind that would help most to put your ideas across. Or, your own taste might lean to the use of the very best paper and expensive embossing, whereas the nature of your letters demanded an impression of careful efficiency, or your profit from the correspondence required most rigid economy. There again you would have to compromise. - Now, in a general way, we have the basic principle of efiicient business stationery. We have seen how stationery evolves, in the case of a simple, personal business, into the plain, clean-cut letterheads at the top of the preceding page. Now, just imagine the business not so simple. Imagine that you had to solicit business by letter. To do that, the plain name, business and address card would hardly be a safe medium of transportation for the "load" some of your letters would have to carry. A part of that "load" would be the establishing of confidence in your 456 LETTERHEADS, ENVELOPS, ENCLOSURES ability, resources and experience. And if all the people from whom you had to solicit business were not familiar with your ability, resources, and experience, a plain, uninforming letter- head might retard the creation of confidence. And also, if you really possessed extensive ability, had ample resources for performing your work, and had had long and valuable experi- ence, could you not make your stationery demonstrate those qualifications for you? In such a case our basic principle of letterheads would surely point to the third Henley letterhead illustrated on page 455. Or, to go in the opposite direction, suppose that you were in some highly competitive line — wholesale millinery, let us say. Considering first the character of "loads" to be carried by a millinery concern's letters, it is easy to see that included in the "load" of practically every important letter from the business would be the task of building up or protecting the firm's reputation for style leadership and style authoritative- ness. Then, considering the people to whom letters would be written, we can easily see that any ideas concerning style would be more difficult to absorb from a formal, commercial looking letterhead than from one reflecting daintiness and originality. And, third, considering the firm itself, if it really had claims to leadership in style, it should have an organiza- tion and facilities capable of supplying latest styles. Do you see how logically and how surely you arrive at the general tone most desirable for such a letterhead.'' It should be artistic, probably hand-lettered; it should, if possible, show its offices in, or connections with the leading style centers, like Paris or New York. An illustration of some seasonable and exclusive model would be appropriate. With such an understanding it would have been easy to have given an artist the clear directions that would have produced results like that shown at the bottom of page 455. How far you can go or wish to go in dictating the actual execution -of your letterhead plan must depend, of course, on 457 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE The Kind of "Loads" My Letters Must Carry Only Convey Simple Ideas? Create Confidence? Create Prestige? Exercise Persuasion? How My Letterheads Can Help the Readers to Get My Ideas By Showing My Business? By Showing Facts About It? By Showing Picture of Goods? By Giving Impression of Age? By Giving Impression of Size? By Giving Impression of Dignity? By Giving Impression of Individuality? By Showing Artistic Taste? By Indicating Mechanical Skill? By Giving Impression of Efficiency? What Are My Resources for Covering Above Needs? Essentials of the Most Efficient Letterhead for My Purposes Its General Effect Must Be It Must Contain Printed from Type Embossed Lithographed Hand Drawn Quality of Paper Color Ink Quantity Panel 218 458 LETTERHEADS, ENVELOPS, ENCLOSURES your own artistic ability, knowledge of printing colors, lithog- raphy, engraving, and so on. The average business man may well leave those points to his artist or printer. But he should dictate and control the effects to be obtained. The leaving of not only the style of lettering or drawing, or the choice of types and colors, to the artist or the printer, but also depending on him to produce the final effect, often secures a letterhead perfect perhaps from the artist's or the printer's point of view, but it almost as often results in a poor medium for transporting business ideas. Therefore, it is not my purpose, in this chapter, to dwell on the technique or art of designing letterheads, but to show you how to specify the general nature of the design and to be sure that the general effect, when done, will be a help in conveying the ideas in your letters, and not a hindrance. In other words, I shall show you how to be sure that your stationery is a safe and efficient medium of trans- portation for your letters' "loads." That is all that the average business man should attempt to know. He may let himself be guided in the actual execution of the plan by the advice of a good artist, printer, lithographer, or engraver. When you have this problem up for consideration, however, look over your files and see what others have done. But no man will ever absolutely know the best general effect to secure from letterheads, nor will he know whether the artist's or printer's work has insured the best effect unless he has carefully studied and analyzed the requirements of his particular business. The simplest and surest method of doing this is to graphic- ally chart the work that your letterheads ought to do, on some such form as the diagram on the opposite page. (Make out a number of blank forms of this diagram; you will need them in the problem section). The items enumerated are not in- tended to constitute a complete list of the points to be con- sidered, as special items exist for each line of business. But those shown indicate the character of the items that should be considered. 459 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE The Kind of "Loads" My Letters Must Cany Only Convey Simple Ideas? Create Confidence? Hf*"*^ Create Prestlje? Cyta.^ Exercise Persuasion? t.->fi-~^ Quantity Panel 219 460 LETTERHEADS, ENVELOPS, ENCLOSURES When you have checked off or written in on a chart the various points that your letterhead should cover and when you have checked off against the various points the extent to which you can go in covering them, then you will be able to set down on the right-hand side of the chart the essentials that should be embodied in a letterhead most effective for your business. Is that clear? Let us see how it works and then we shall be sure. Suppose we are pottery manufacturers, making a complete line of pottery and distributing our goods through plumbers and plumbing supply houses. We want an eflficient letterhead for our business. Let us check off our imaginary requirements on the chart. First we ask ourselves, "Must our letters convey only simple business ideas?" Our answer obviously is "No." We shall assume that we have much sales correspondence with dealers and that as we are advertising in the magazines, undoubtedly we shall have correspondence with consumers. Hence, it is quite likely that our letters will frequently have to create confidence and prestige and exercise persuasion. Therefore, we shall check the kinds of "loads" our letters must carry, as shown in the upper left-hand square of the chart on the opposite page. Second, for the reader's convenience, how can our letter- heads help in transporting our letters' "loads?" By showing oar business? Surely. By giving facts about it? If pos- sible. By showing pictures of goods? This can't be done if our line is large, especially as pottery includes so many items. Would the impression of our business age help? Yes, if ours is an old firm. Size of the business? Yes, if it is a large one. Dignity? Somewhat. Individuality? Hardly. Artistic taste? No. Mechanical skill? Impossible to show in our line. So we check the second square of the chart as you wUl see on the opposite page. Now how can we cover all the points we have listed? Why, in the bottom left-hand square of the chart are shown our letterhead resources. 461 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE Panel 220 462 LETTERHEADS, ENVELOPS, ENCLOSURES Now turn to the right-hand side of the chart for the third consideration — ourselves and our pocketbooks. Do you not see how easily the essentials of an efficient letterhead could be set down on it? There you have a plan of what our business requires of our letterheads as far as we can supply it. The choice between printing, embossing and lithographing brings up a question on which expert advice should perhaps be sought. Getting competitive bids from different letterhead houses generally opens a way of settling the question. The arguments and the prices of rival houses often give the in- formation on which to base a decision. But with the plan of the essentials scientifically charted, we can let a contract for our stationery with certainty that we know what we want and that we will know it when we get it. Near the top of the opposite page you will see the letterhead we have built up. I have often heard and read long arguments by artists and typographical experts about the advisability or folly of encumbering a letterhead with lists of officers or a list of 'products, but you now see the clear, businesslike answer to the problem. You can see that it is not a problem that concerns the artist or typographical expert at all. It is a problem to be decided by the owner of the business, or the buyer of his stationery, according to a chart of the require- ments of the business. When a list of officers will add a needed touch of dignity to the letterhead, then a list of officers should be shown regardless of any outside person's arguments that "no one cares who your officers are." But if such a list is not needed for such a purpose, then it is a detriment. The same holds true as to lists of products, lists of branch houses, cable codes, date the business was established, cuts of the products manufactured or sold, photographs of the founder of the business, and so on. A man should determine whether such points are needed for the particular work his letters have to do, and for those which are needed, let an artist or typographical expert under- take the task of arranging and reproducing them with good taste. The designing of letterheads is an art in itself, hence 463 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE a discussion of this subject would be out of place here. There are, however, many books published on the subject. Most of them are available in public libraries. We have just seen how a chart would pave the way for the Pottery letterhead. At the top of page 462, at the right, is a different type. Here is a concern selling buggies by mail. Confidence and prestige must be created and persuasion exer- cised. The firm's business should be indicated to the prospect, and any facts about it that will indicate quality and style will be helpful in selling the reader. Also, as in the sales letters, the president's personality is made a factor, and as all letters are signed by him, anything that will help along the atmos- phere of his personal prestige will be helpful. Now, then, let us again put ourselves in another man's place and this time imagine ourselves the owner of this business and see what our resources are for developing a good letter- head. First, we shall assume that our chart has shown that we want something to indicate quality and style. We can state our policy of making only split hickory vehicles, to indicate quality, and we can show a photograph of a styhsh model and handsome turnout to indicate style. We can help along the atmosphere of the president's personality by in- dicating that the letter comes direct from the president's private office. Our chart of essentials would then demand: 1. A general effect of Style and Quality. 2. Matter to show: (a) Name and address (b) The slogan "SpHt Hickory Vehicles" (c) Illustration of stylish turnout (d) "Office of the president." We need go no further to see how such a chart would lead to the letterhead of the Ohio Carriage Mfg. Co. To go to the other extreme, we see by the letterhead in the upper left-hand corner of page 462 how the same kind of chart would indicate a totally different type of letterhead for an- other firm. Carson Pirie Scott & Company is a department 464 LETTERHEADS, ENVELOPS, ENCLOSURES store known to probably every man, woman and child in Chicago, and there is nothing the store could put into its letterhead to add to its prestige further than to use the finest steel-die embossing and heavy quality paper. But now, let's imagine ourselves the owners of a smaller store — an exclusive men's specialty shop in the fashionable shopping district. A chart of letterhead essentials in such a case would demand an effort of style and exclusiveness, a need of im- pressing the address on the reader's mind, and a statement of the kind of merchandise sold. See from the rough repro- duction of the Capper & Capper letter shown on page 462 how these demands have been met by artistic arrangement, an etching of the building in which the store is located, promi- nence given the address, and the trade-mark of the store printed in red. Hence, this is the science of efficient stationery: to analyze carefully the character of work your letters must perform; the character of the impression you must create; the resources you possess for creating that impression; to specify the essentials your analysis has shown to be both needed and possible and from those specifications to build up your letter- head with the assistance of a good printer or artist. If you work on such a plan, your letterhead will be as simple as your business permits. And simplicity should be the ideal to be striven for. Nothing that your analysis does not show is needed should ever be put on a letterhead. If your name and address alone will fill the requirements, any- thing further is not only unnecessary, but unwise. If only your name, address, and nature of your business fill the requirements, do not add anything else. But when further details are shown to be valuable don't hesitate to add them. On the next page are two effective letterheads that contain much material — but as it is of value, why should it not be there? The letter at the top of the page shows details of all the products manufactured, but as much of the correspon- dence is with consumers who might not know of all these products, an analysis would show the need for such cuts. 465 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE Panel 221 466 LETTERHEADS, ENVELOPS, ENCLOSURES The letter at the bottom of the page is designed for a special form letter in which the attractiveness of styles was the big idea. So the many cuts, printed in colors, helped materially in the work of the letter. In the laundry letter simplicity is the keynote — and a chart of essentials would show that all the letter needed is the atmosphere of quality workmanship. Put the letterheads you are now using in your business to the test of such an analytical chart of requirements and possible essentials and see whether you are lumbering them up with unnecessary details; or, on the other hand, see whether you are missing some of the help that you could get from a more complete letterhead. The matter of envelops follows the same principle — nothing not vital should be on them. A plain return card to match the letterhead is enough unless your chart demonstrates that a trade-mark, cut, slogan, or other matter can be useful in help- ing your letters to accomplish their work. When your goods do have an individual point that can be easily illustrated, one that will help focus intelligent attention on the contents of the letter, as in the auto letter on the next page ; or when your proposition has some distinctive feature that can be em- phasized, as in McClure's letter, then it is good judgment to sacrifice simplicity on your envelop, just as you would on the letterhead. You remember we had needs of this kind illustrated in the preceding chapter in which we studied ways of gripping attention. Putting attention-gripping devices on envelops or letter- heads has proved to be so valuable that many large business houses do not hesitate to prepare both special letterheads and special envelops for the mailing of a circular letter when an analysis chart shows that the letter requires points not needed on the firm's regular stationery. The clothing letterhead on the opposite page was planned to fit such a case. For the same reason, different departments of the same business may, when a careful chart of letterhead essentials is made, show such widely varying needs, that the business is not only warranted in having, but is almost compelled to 467 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE Panel 222 468 LETTERHEADS, ENVELOPS, ENCLOSURES have, different types of stationery for them. The sales department, for instance, may need colored illustrations of the products, an advertising slogan, and so on, which would be out of place on the correspondence of the credit department. When the business is big enough to make such differences important, it is big enough to justify two or more types of stationery. A chart of the stationery's essential requirements, such as we have learned to make in planning a letterhead, is the surest way to bring such needs to light. Varying the character of stationery has been found particu- larly important to advertisers using a long series of follow- up letters. The firm's stationery, if unvaried, might not only fail to give the full cooperation demanded by varying types of the different follow-up letters, but it also may easily become so quickly recognized by the prospect that he will toss it to one side as "another of those letters from so-and-so" before the letter itself gets a chance. If the follow-up -work is big enough to warrant the expense, when the series has been planned according to the principles already outlined, each letter in it should be submitted to a chart of stationery requirements, and a form color scheme, size and shape laid out to fit each letter and give variation to the whole series. So far we have not given thought to size and shape of stationery. It can be correctly settled by exactly the same method of charting the requirements and resources. Merely add to the items in the first two squares of the chart on page 458, an estimate on the general amount of typewritten matter your average letters will require. If most of your letters will be short, medium length, it is useless to have letterheads of the standard size 8J^ x 11 inches. You waste paper and mar the appearance of your letter. "Note size" letterheads — 5K x 8}4 inches — will look better, save you money, and save much time in folding. But if your average letters are long, then the full size letter sheet will be, not only more economical, but also more con- venient than handling many two-page letters. 469 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE Here again your chart, if carefully worked out, may indicate the advisability of employing both sizes of letterheads. For if you have many long letters to be written, and also many short ones, it is obviously inefficient to waste stationery in making one size do for both. System has not only found, by analysis of its own require- ments, that different types of letterheads for its different departments not only pay, but also save much money. And for certain types of short communications — like acknowledg- ments of change of address, and so on, where no carbon copy is necessary or advisable, an individual form postcard has been found a convenience and an economy. The window envelop comes under the same category of efficiency stationery. For fiUed-in form letters, and also for regular correspondence where the volume is large, the window envelop saves typewriting the address on the envelop, and the carbon copy of the letter is always a carbon of the address to which the letter was mailed. Remember, however, that there is some prejudice against its use. But before any size or style or quality or form of stationery can be said to be efficient, you must analyze the requirements, not only from your own viewpoint, but from the viewpoint of the character of your letters, and of the reader's conve- nience. The chart on page 458 — adapted, of course, to the peculiari- ties of your own business — is the surest way to avoid mistakes. With the make-up of letterheads and envelops disposed of we next turn to a consideration of enclosures. But remember that in studying the enclosures that should go with a letter, we must eliminate order cards and reply cards. From experi- ence I have learned to consider them as really part of a let- ter's close, and they were treated as such in the seventh chapter. The enclosures that are up for our consideration now are those that have an entity of their own — that could be read intelligently even if entirely separated from the letters they 470 LETTERHEADS, ENVELOPS, ENCLOSURES originally accompanied. These I divide into three types, according to the character of the work they are designed to do: 1. Missionary enclosures 2. Reenforcement enclosures 3. Selling enclosures. Missionary enclosures are what some people call, and I think miscall, "envelop stuffers." They are those inexpensive little circulars illustrating or describing briefly some par- ticular product or some one unique feature of a product to be inserted in the regular day's mail, or in the monthly state- ments, or in all answers to inquiries, or in mailings of form letters, without any particular reference to them in the letter, but just on a chance that someone in need of such a product may be attracted, or someone just wavering in doubt may be swung over by the particular feature illustrated. The mission- ary enclosure may have nothing to do with the idea conveyed in the letter with which it is enclosed. It is merely — -a mis- sionary preaching its message wherever it happens to be. The reenforcement enclosure, just as its name suggests, is an enclosure made to reenforce the work of the specific letter with which it is enclosed. Just as an army may need reen- forcements to enable it to storm some particular trench, so a letter often needs a reenforcement enclosure to enable it to accomplish some particular phase of its work. One feature of the letter's idea may be a point of mechanical construction that a photographic illustration and detailed description would make much stronger; or it may be the style of a garment that a drawing would enhance; or it may be the testimonial of a customer that a facsimile letter would make more convinc- ing. In such cases only a printed circular can offer the necessary reenforcements to the word-features of the letter. The selling enclosure is an enclosure designed to be able to. make a sale by itself. It may be used primarily as a reenforce- ment enclosure, but if entirely separated from the letter or if mailed alone would have all the elements of a complete sales canvass, including the order-coupon. This is the kind of enclosure particularly in vogue with mail order houses, but 471 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE Panel 223 -172 LETTERHEADS, ENVELOPS, ENCLOSURES its great strength can also be used by other business houses as well. Now, with this rough idea of the three types of enclosures — which will be made clearer as we get into a study of how to construct each type — -we must learn when each type should be used. It is poor business to go to the trouble and expense of enclosing a circular with a letter if the circular is not the right kind; it is poor business to go to the trouble and expense of enclosing a circular when none is really needed; and it is equally poor business to send a letter without an enclosure if a selling enclosure would bring in more orders, or a reen- forcing enclosure help the letter do its work, or a missionary enclosure bring an occasional new inquiry. Consider first the missionary enclosure. View it in the light of your business as a whole when enclosures are 'planned. Ask yourself if there are any products in your line that would ben- efit by being called to the attention of your regular customers, or that might interest those who inquire about other goods. On the opposite page, I illustrate how one publisher treats such a case. A little four-page leaflet telling about his books is enclosed in the answer to every inquiry for his advertised products. Printed simply in plain black on fight paper, the cost is so small that he can afford to insert them in every let- ter even if only an occasional order or inquiry results. Another question to consider is whether there is some particular feature of your business that your casual corre- spondents, or even regular customers, might overlook if it were not called especially to their attention. At the bottom of the opposite page I show how one retailer uses a missionary enclosure in his regular mail to call attention to the facilities of a charge account. The other illustrations on that page I'll pass without comment, for it is very plain that all of them carry out in varying detail the principle I've outlined. Also, if you make or sell more than one line, it is best to decide whether customers for one line would be possible customers for other lines. If you think they would be, then in- clude in your circular letters, or in your regular mail, or with 473 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE Panel 224 474 LETTERHEADS, ENVELOPS, ENCLOSURES your monthly statements, a missionary enclosure for some one of your other lines, changing the enclosure in each letter sent the customer. At times you should ask yourself if you have a seasonable specialty that would be benefited by a missionary enclosure in all mail sent out during its season. In short, the success of the missionary enclosure depends on its being so inexpensive that the cost of using it is a trifle; so light in weight that it does not add to the postage cost of the letter; and so simple and brief that it does not "clutter up" the letter. Hence, if there is any opportunity at all to help the sale of your goods, or help the usefulness of a department, or promote the understanding of an individual feature, you should take advantage of it by using missionary enclosures in your letters. Many successful houses have a series of four or six mission- ary enclosures prepared at the opening of each new season, one perhaps for each product, or one perhaps for each dis- tinctive feature of the main product. These are used in rotation, one form for all mail going out the first month, another during the second month, and so on, so that every customer or correspondent of the house is likely to get one of each form of enclosure. Next : study the reenf orcement enclosure. After you have examined into the enclosure needs of the business as a whole to see if you can profitably use one or more missionary enclosures, you should consult the needs of specific letters and determine whether they can be benefited by reenforcement enclosures. Ask yourself if there is a feature of the idea to be used in your answers to inquiries that needs more detail to make clear than you can put in a letter. In the panel on the op- posite page, you will see how a tooth brush manufacturer en- closes a circular with his answers to inquiries in order to reen- f orce his letter by explaining and illustrating the details of one feature of the selling idea more completely than could be done in the letter itself. On other occasions the letter itself 475 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE Panel 2^5 476 LETTERHEADS, ENVELOPS, ENCLOSURES may be increased in volume to four or more pages and reenforcement data supplied as in the Keller Pneumatic Tool Company letter. Extension pages on letters are be- coming more and more popular. For some lines they are especially useful, as by not filling in the addresss at the top of the letter they can be mailed as third class matter. Various ways of making up extension letters are illustrated on page 474. Are there more detailed specifications than you can cover in a letter? Are there more specific price and discount lists than a letter can carry? Would photographic illustrations of the product, or detailed drawings of its parts, help in con- veying the Big Idea? If so, make use of a reenforcement enclosure. Would facsimile reproductions of the endorsements quoted or referred to in the letter reenforce those features in the letter? It has often been found profitable in the case of a testimonial from some influential firm or individual to go to great lengths in getting an impressive facsimile, as witness the illustration on the opposite page. This hand-written letter from an eminent French modiste was reproduced in its en- tire three pages, with letterhead and envelop, all in the original colors, and enclosed as a reenforcement to the selling idea of which the testimonial was a feature. Then comes the question, are there so many individual features requiring reenforcement, or so many styles or models or prices, or so many descriptive details necessary in our prop- osition that a booklet to cover them all would be justified? Going to the expense of a booklet, or even of a modest leaflet or circular, simply because it seems the conventional thing to enclose, has never appealed to me as very good business. Nor have I found it wise to go a single step further, in the elaborateness and expense of either circular or booklet, than efiicient reenforcement of the letters makes necessary. If an analysis of what your proposition really requires shows an expensive booklet to be needed, then you should have one; if it shows an economical booklet or even just a four-page 477 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE iNewlbrkto San Francisco Jand ba I's a long trip, but it Is only the run without puncture— ifs their mil We have records of tires driven 10.000, 12,000 and II means that you can travel from iMck to New York and 2.000 m; You can do this without what kind of roads you striki ThlsisEconoi Wbeo you put tbeir record you can begin to underatBDd wB] every motorUt \a Europe uses iteel-Btudi Treads, aud M/by, In leas than one yeai^^ 40.000 Amorlcan motorists have tolloweit tbeIr example and are saving over balf tbelr tire ezpeiiB& Denvec^ guaraneed to I Panel 226 478 LETTERHEADS, ENVELOPS, ENCLOSURES circular — say with a letter on the first page, as illustrated on page 474 — to be enough, then that is all you should have; but if the analysis shows that no booklet or circular at all is necessary from a practical point of view, then it is folly to indulge in one simply because others have them. This brings us to our third point, consideration of a selling enclosure. This may be a circular or booklet that covers your proposition so thoroughly, with all the elements of idea, sincerity, persuasion and action in it, that it can be looked to to produce orders by itself. Your conclusion as to whether your proposition needs or could effectively use such an enclosure, calls for a careful study of its sales possibilities. If a proposition is one that can be covered in every detail in short enough space, its features built up one on the other in such a connected form that a prospect can and will read it through at one sitting, and get from it a complete visualization of the whole proposition — then an out-and-out selling enclosure will pay. In the panel on the opposite page is the selling enclosure of an automobile accessory proposition. It has all the elements of a complete sales talk or sales letter — -it has a Stopper for attention, mutual "you-and-I" sympathy, fuel for the action motive, and an action-stimulating close. Above all, it not only conveys a big central idea, but conveys it in complete, consecutive detail, in reasonably short space. But don't let the idea of a selling enclosure get the best of you. As I said, selling enclosures are very useful additions to a letter when they describe some simple or comparatively simple proposition. But too often selling enclosures are used to describe some article that really needs a booklet or perhaps a catalog to do it justice. Then selling enclosures are as use- less as they are useful when used correctly. For instance, consider the enclosures you have received with letters on such propositions as automobiles, addressing machines, and other articles involving many separate features and many of the features requiring voluminous details. Such propositions could not be conveyed to you in compact, com- plete, ready-to-be-acted-upon form. Therefore, a selling 479 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE enclosure was impractical for them. The only practical enclosures for letters about such propositions are reenforce- ment enclosures which may be either circulars covering one or several of the most prominent features, or booklets covering all features. Primarily, the selling enclosure is for use with a letter on the same proposition, and it has both a reenforcing and selling power. But if it can be condensed into small enough size^ — say into a 6 x 6 leaflet, or even smaller, which when folded once goes snugly into the folds of a letter— it can be used also as a missionary enclosure with all mail. Mail order houses thus do much effective missionary work for low- priced specialties. Book publishers and others make effective use of it. Wholesale houses use it profitably for combina- tion assortments. And many manufacturers doing no mail order business or direct advertising, print such missionary selling enclosures in large quantities, and by imprinting a certain quantity with each of their dealers' names, induce the retailers to use them with bills and monthly statements, and even for counter hand-outs. In the form of little booklets, sometimes they bring in big returns. I illustrate several forms of this business-winning enclosure on page 478. Now as to selecting the enclosures that will fit your particular letter. After your letter has been sized up and written, if you are planning a circular form letter; or after the general nature of your daily correspondence has been sized up, if you are planning the routine letter work of the business; or after you have planned your stationery to fit the require- ments of the letter, you should, as the first step in planning the enclosure, analyze the possibilities of enclosures as out- lined in the preceding pages., Bear in mind, as you make your selection, that the type of enclosures to use is exactly parallel with the efforts of a sales- man calling on trade — if he can possibly get an order he tries for it and it is only when he knows he can't get an immediate order that he is satisfied to try to pave the way for getting an order on another visit. And it is only when he knows he 480 LETTERHEADS, ENVELOPS, ENCLOSURES can't do either that he is content to do mere "missionary" work for the distant future. Therefore, in analyzing the needs of a circular letter or the general correspondence of a business we should first study to see if a selling enclosure can possibly be used to advantage. Referring to the chart on the next page, we should give a care- ful, closely thought out answer to the question in the first large square. If we can answer "Yes" to it, then we trace the dotted line to the "Yes" square and learn the kind of enclosure to prepare. If we must answer "No," we trace the dotted line to the "No" square and then just as carefully answer the questions in the second square. If we can answer "Yes" to any one or more of them, trace the dotted line to the "Yes" square and there is the kind of enclosure our letter needs. If we can answer "No" to the questions in the first two squares, then, by tracing the dotted line to the "No" square, we should again give a careful answer to each of the third set of questions. If we can answer "Yes" to one or more of them, the dotted line to the "Yes" square will lead us to the need of one or more missionary enclosures. But if our answers are all "No," then the "No" square indicates the necessity and, therefore, the wisdom of putting no enclosures at all in our letters other than the order or in- quiry cards needed. Just a moment's consideration will prove to you the dollar- saving business efficiency of analyzing your enclosure needs in this way. Often, too often, in planning the mailing of a circular letter, or laying out a system of follow-up letters, a man thinks to himself, "Now I must have a printed circular to enclose." And thereupon he proceeds to prepare one. Sometimes his printed circular covers only the same ground covered by the letter, repeating, perhaps, but not reenforcing where reenforcement is needed. Sometimes the enclosure is so vague as to be no more than a missionary enclosure, when a strong reenforcing, or even selling enclosure, would be valuable. 481 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE Can My Proposition be covered in complete detail in short enough space to give the prospect every feature and arouse a buying motive and supply all needed informa- tion, and yet have it in compact, consecutive form so it can be grasped at one sitting? (3^ Then- 1— Are there features that require more detail to make clear than can be put in a letter? 2— Are there important specifications that can't be covered in a letter? 3— Are there variations in models, or prices or dis- counts that would only encumber the letter?; 4— Are illustrations needed? 5— Is there some unique feature you would like to have more fully understood? 6— Is there an important testimonial that could be reproduced facsimile? Then- t— Have I other products than those likely to be told about in my letters that correspondents might be interested In? 2— Is there some particular feature of my business it would pay to emphasize or tall to attention of customers and prospects? 3— Is there a seasonable specialty . or timely offer correspondents might be Interested in? Then- My Letters Should Be Accompanied by a Selling Enclosure. Then- My Letters Should Be Accompanied by a Reinforce- ment Enclosure- Then - My Letters Should Be Accompanied by a Missionary Enclosure. /0- Then- My Letters do not require any en- closures at all! Panel 227 482 LETTERHEADS, ENVELOPS, ENCLOSURES Such enclosures are a waste of money. The enclosure, no matter what it is, should perform a needed part of the work. But it will not, in all probability, perform that work if you don't chart out the entire proposition and learn definitely what particular work is needed, and construct the enclosure with that job in mind. The construction of any enclosure — ^whether missionary leaf- let, reenforcing folder or booklet, or selling circular — once its work is sized up and known, follows largely on the lines of a letter's construction. As in the case of a letter, you know the work to be done on the reader's mind, and, in the case of a letter, a Big Idea must be chosen for carrying the enclosure. If it is to be but a missionary enclosure telling of some product you make or handle, or some department of your business, or a unique feature of your methods, then the Big Idea must be along the lines of "Here is a thing you will find useful," or "Here is a quality of so-and-so that will please you," or "Here is a piece of such-and-such that you can't beat," or "Here is a department of our business you should take advantage of." Because the object of the enclosure is missionary in its nature, the idea should be simple and its expression brief. Unless the proposition is so simple that missionary work and selling can be combined in small space, on a missionary enclosure, no attempt should be made at per- suasion to immediate action. For the reenforcement enclosure, the features that need to be described in detail, or the facts, specifications, price lists and so on that need extended explanation, should be treated exactly as you would treat the features of an idea in a letter. Being a reenforcing circular, its Big Idea, of course, must be a supplement to the idea in the letter — never too radically different, yet never too nearly the same to be mere repetition. The selling circular should convey the biggest idea in your proposition regardless of the letter — in fact, it should be con- structed altogether as an independent selling unit. With both reenforcing and selling enclosures, a strong Stopper for attention and a powerful visionary or negative 483 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE idea are essential to get interest. The prospect generally takes up printed matter in a listless or indifferent frame of mind, often before he has read the letter, so the printed matter should be ready to drive away that indifference right from the start. In a word, then, you should proceed in planning and writing the matter for an enclosure exactly as you would in planning and writing a letter. The big difference comes only in its physical make-up. In the printed enclosure your matter must be arranged with an eye to typographical effect, colors, and the shape and size of the pages. Illustrations also must be arranged. After the nature of the enclosure is settled on and the proper copy written, then you must stop, and as in the case of the letterhead, come to a decision between what you would like for the job in the way of printing, cuts, colors, paper stock, and so on, and what 'practical business will allow you to spend. The best way to decide is to write on a piece of scratch paper a list of the features of your enclosure. For illustrations, decide on those which you prefer to have appear as plain black and white drawings,those you would like to show in color, those you would like to have illustrated from photographs. Then select from samples of paper which any printer, paper dealer or paper manufacturer will gladly furnish you, or from printed matter of other houses, the kind of paper stock you think would be appropriate. Estimate roughly the number of pages your matter will require, if for a booklet; or estimate, if for a folder or leaf- let, the size sheet. Then ask your printer to give you a rough idea of the cost for both cuts and printing. Reduce this figure to the cost per piece, see how it compares with the possible benefit — and then decide whether you can afford to spend that much to tell one person the points your copy brings out. Consider the gross cost again — is the volume of business you ought to get from many prospects big enough to warrant the expenditure on top of the cost of letters and postage and labor.? 484 LETTERHEADS, ENVELOPS, ENCLOSURES Of course, these estimates are only preliminary guesses. No printer could or would give you an absolute figure on such hazy data, and no business man can tell just how well his mailing is going to sell before he has tested it* — you can't be certain that you want all the copy and cuts you have arranged for. But the estimates serve as a preliminary basis from which to work. Nine times out of ten, my experience has been, you will find the cost going altogether too high. So you must start trimming. First look to the things for which substitutes can be found. Ask your printer, any paper dealer, or any paper manufacturer, for samples of cheaper paper that might do as well. Find out if you can't substitute line cuts for half-tone engravings of some illustrations. See if between you and the printer you can't make up a dummy that would cut more economically from stock or that would require fewer impres- sions on the press, or that would save folding or assembling. Then, if after all the possible substitutions, the cost is still too high, you must at last come to economizing in big things. Try omitting one color, or by Ben Day screens or tint blocks or process printing, to get the effect of the extra color without the cost — 'your printer or engraver, or a good artist, if you are to employ one on any illustrations, can help you if you are not expert on these things. And last take up the omission of illustrations that are least important, and copy that might be spared so that you could cut down the size of the job. When you have made the approximate cost come within the approximate amount you want to spend, then the real work commences. You must make your "layout." If you are dealing with an artist in regard to illustrations, or if your printing job is to be a very large one, the assistance of the artist or the printer should be called in on a circular or booklet layout — ^unless you are an expert yourself. But assuming that you have to do it all yourself, your next step should be to have a dummy made up on the stock you have selected, which any printer will be glad to do for you. *Vari0U5 methods of testing will be explained in the next chapter. 485 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE (lUllI* III 11 ( l««'l)» M.w, (.1, Dea-r- 5i« — ^ l::^ ^*""' ■ ■ I Mill) <::=: ^^•W(>W*'K^*w * z> VoljrS tfuly, FIGURE A StopbeT FIGURE B !:::> "••^ Panel 228 486 LETTERHEADS, ENVELOPS, ENCLOSURES Now the problem of getting your copy arranged on the dummy begins. The most important point in making a layout, whether it is for a folder, booklet, or magazine advertisement, is to see that in the completed work you don't retard the reader's grasping your idea. The best layout for a piece of copy, of course, helps the reader to grasp the i<|ea — tha,t is what a layout is for. But many men rush into the matter of layout with their minds so bent on getting something unusually striking or unusually artistic, that they lose sight altogether of the reader's convenience, often getting so much layout eflfect on the eye that they kill the copy eflfect on the thought. Now I can't show you how to make artistic layouts. I don't know how to make them myself. When I have a job that calls for something really artistic I hire an artist — and you had bet- ter do the same although you can pick up a lot of information on this subject by studying what other people are doing. But what anyone can learn, and what we all ought to know, is how to make a layout that helps our copy do its work as far as plain business sense can help. It is not very difficult. Remember what we said was the most important point about a layout — doing nothing to retard the reader's grasp of the idea. Now what is the reader's men- tal process in grasping an idea? We have already seen that when one of his attention- rays has lighted on something of interest, he brings his full attention to a stop and proceeds to look for the idea. He sees a bright light, for instance, and says, "What's the idea of it?" and proceeds to look for explanatory details. If your Stppper were a line of type, the reader would start from that point looking for the Idea. We all know that the eye, in looking at things, naturally moves from top to bottom. It has been trained that way. We read a letter by beginning at the upper left-hand corner and traveling down, as I have indicated in the Figure A on the opposite page. Therefore, copy, in an advertisement or booklet, should be prepared according to the same plan. It should be laid out 487 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE FIGURE E FIGURE F FIGURE G PRICES FIGURE H Panel 229 488 ENCLOSURES, LETTERHEADS, ENVELOPS so that the features of it will unfold, from the Stopper down. Figure B, then, represents roughly the general plan of a good layout. Now suppose we were laying out a shoe circular and our Stopper were to be the picture of a man admiring the appear- ance of his new shoes. Let Figure C (page 486) repre- sent it. The attention of the reader is going to travel quickly to the shoes, isn't it.? The eyes of the man in the illustra- tion point that way, and probably we would have the cut made so the shoes were the most prominent part of the picture. Then if we carelessly put our copy alongside the cut we would force the reader to move his attention as shown in Figure D (page 486) — manifestly an unnatural course for him, and therefore one that would cause a feeling of discom- fort. He might be quite unconscious of the cause, he might even be unconscious that his feeling was discomfort — -just as in your sleep, when a wad of bed clothes bothers you, you don't feel exactly conscious of pain or discomfort, yet you know something is wrong and you toss or roll away from the cause of the trouble without knowing why. Very often we get this impulse to "move away" from a circular or advertisement without knowing why — the real reason being that the layout has irritated our reading or observing instinct, by trying to drive it the wrong way. Hence, if our attention-stopper has focused the reader's attention-rays on the shoes, we must arrange our layout to let his desire to "get the idea of them" move downward in its natural method, for instance as it would in Figure E on the opposite page. But such a layout might be imprac- tical, as it uses up so much space in length. The shape of our circular or the size of our advertisement might not per- mit it. Then it is up to us to arrange the picture differently. Figure F shows one way of doing it by showing one of the man's feet on a bench or chair. Or we could save still more space by a layout, as in Figure G, representing the man sitting on a chair with his feet up in front of him on a window sill. 489 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE But at any rate you see that when we know what we have to do we find it easy to shift and shape until we have done it. So the sum and substance of the first principle of making a layout is to help the reader to grasp your idea by "routing" it in accordanqe with the direction in which his eye naturally moves. That is, when you have placed a Stopper on your folder or advertisement or booklet on which the reader's attention will be first focused, arrange the features of your Big Idea from that Stopper down — don't require the reader's eye to move upward before he can begin to see your idea unfolding. Far be it from me to claim that a wrong arrangement will prevent your circular or advertisement from being read. Probably the average prospect would read it just as quickly when wrongly arranged as when rightly arranged. But there are always some who are in just that state of rising indifference in which the slightest difiiculty — ^the slightest encouragement to quit — will send them away from your advertisement or prompt them to toss your circular to one side. And as we always want all the business possible, we want our layouts to offer no possible obstacle to the interest of any possible prospect. So far we have been considering only the layout of relations between the Stopper and the Big Idea. We know why the features that convey the idea should never be placed above the Stopper, nor, unless otherwise impossible, should they come to the left of the point where the Stopper leaves the reader's attention focused. The reader's eye should be allowed to move toward the right, and downward, to the main idea. But this does not necessarily mean that the Stopper must be the topmost point of the circular or adver- tisement. Just as we have seen a necessity for reenforcement details for the main features of a letter's idea, so there are reenforce- ment details often needed for the main features of a circular's or advertisement's idea. Such reenforcement details not only can be placed in the spaces left vacant by your layout of 490 LETTERHEADS, ENVELOPS, ENCLOSURES Stopper and Big Idea, but also they are often more valuable there than elsewhere. Just for example, suppose we were laying out a shoe circular on the lines shown in Figure F on page 488. We will say that the Big Idea is, "Black Joe shoes are made all comfort inside but all style outside." Now from the Stopper down we want to convey the Big Idea clearly. Well and good. But after that idea is conveyed to the reader we know he'll ask, "Wonder what they cost?" Now it is always true that when you have just been imbued with an interesting idea you don't immediately move on, or start talking to someone else, or push the advertisement to one side. You contemplate the scene that gave you the idea, or talk further generalities about it with the man who imparted it, or take another general look at the advertisement that conveyed it. So if in our shoe circular we just put a little box or panel or paragraph up in the space above the Stopper, as shown in Figure H on page 488, and in it give that reenforc- ing detail of prices, we shall not have disturbed the grasp of our idea at all, yet we shall have made use of that vacant space — 'and when our prospect takes his second contemplative look he will find his question answered. If the Big Idea has been bargain prices, and the reenforcing detail the point about comfort, or perhaps quality, then we would reverse the operation. There you have the key to the layout of those details which don't help to convey the idea yet are essential in helping the prospect make up his mind. You have seen advertisements that had perhaps several reenforcing details placed in appar- ently isolated spots, quite unobtrusively, and maybe have wondered why. You have seen circulars — say a book circular as indicated in the layout on the next page— where the Stopper and Big Idea of the book's helpfulness followed in good order, but the description of binding came in a little spot up on the left-hand side of the illustration, and the detailed contents came in a panel below. You can now understand the why of it. 491 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE Bouni In S. »^ S«. - . . . Det&ilaJ Conteiits Theorists often say, "Don't make your layout look choppy." From the viewpoint of artistic balance they are right. And they are right from all viewpoints if they mean that a layout should not be a speckled conglomeration of boxes and panels and squares, or that the features of the Big Idea should not be "chopped up" needlessly into sepa- rated blocks of type. But if there are reenf orcement details that do not play a part in conveying the main idea, a good layout will arrange them where they will not impede or ob- struct the absorption of the main idea, even though artistic balance has to be sacrificed. So far, then, we have learned that laymg out a folder or booklet or advertisement requires: 1. Preparing the copy and cuts to convey the Big Idea, and also the reenf orcement details. 2. Planning an Attention-Stopper. 3. Arranging the Stopper and the features of the main idea so the reader's eye moves naturally from one to the other. 4. Arranging any reenf orcement details so they do not inter- fere with the main idea, but will be seen when the reader, hav- ing grasped the idea, takes his "second look." If you will compare this method of laying out the presenta- tion of a business message on the printed page with the way 492 Panel 230 LETTERHEADS, ENVELOPS, ENCLOSURES a good salesman arranges the presentation of his selling talk, you will see they are exactly parallel. The experienced sales- man does not clutter up his canvass by dragging in all his ■ammunition as fast as he can. He first puts over the Big Idea of his proposition. Then, when he knows that if his presentation is taking effect the prospect will be in a con- templative mood, the salesman begins to bring out his reen- forcing points. Experienced public speakers follow the same plan. Those who know how to hold and influence the thoughts of an audience convey the main idea of the speech or sermon before getting down to the finer details. Thus the audience has a visualization of the idea in mind into which to fit the details. But if a speaker or preacher goes laboriously into all the details of each feature before going to the next feature, the audience does not get a grasp of the complete idea until the very end — and generally not until it has become wearied, and has lost interest in the struggle to keep details connected. My aim has been to show you how to lay out your copy so that the reader, directly his attention has been stopped, will receive the Big Idea of your proposition before he gets down to the supplementary or reenforcing details. If you put your Big Idea over to him, and it is a good idea, you need not fear his failing to look back for the supplementary details. And if he doesn't get the idea, or if the idea does not strike him as worth while, then it doesn't matter about the details — ^you have lost him anyway. After you have progressed this far with the layout, you come to the matter of color. Now by "color" I don't mean merely the colors of the spectrum — ^red, blue, yellow, and so on. I mean — 'to put it not quite accurately but in a way we can all understand — contrast. We have just been considering the effect of a speech or lecture, so let us use it again. You know how monotonous and ineffective a speech would be if deUvered in one tone of voice. The speaker has to emphasize his more important 493 BUSINESS CORRESPONDExXCE points. Now his emphasis does not come altogether from a loud tone and vehement gestures. It comes from the con- trast between those loud tones and vehement gestures and the even tones and quiet demeanor just preceding. If he bellowed and gesticulated from beginning to end, there would be no emphasis at all. And further, if he bellows and gesticulates too frequently the emphasis is lost. Now a printed circular or advertisement must get its emphasis in the same way. If you use too much black face type or too many display lines you kill the effect of it all. If you want to emphasize one particular point by display type, see that it is preceded by either small, light face type, or white space. And after you have given such emphasis don't immediately start to emphasize another point — -give the reader a rest. If you are using colored inks for either illustrations or type, the same rule applies. Don't think that you must " get your money's worth" of color by using the color in every possible spot. Put it only where it helps the reader appreciate your point — in an illustration either to show an actual color of your goods or to throw another color out by contrast; in type matter, only as an orator would use an unusually emphatic gesture. Good taste has something to do with it, but good business judgment has more. The best method for getting yourself started right on the arrangement of color, or contrast, is to first go through your copy carefully marking those features needing emphasis, and those parts for which you would like headlines. Then roughly estimate on your dummy about where the headline and the emphasis is going to fall. If they are going to bring masses of color too closely together you must either arrange a way of separating them, or if the order in which they are arranged cannot be changed without hurt- ing the copy effect, then you must omit the color emphasis on some. By making typographical effect and copy effect give and take with each other, a final balance can be struck. 494 LETTERHEADS, ENVELOPS, ENCLOSURES SUMMAKY WITH the simple fundamentals explained in this chapter we have gone as far in the matter of the preparation of letterheads and enclosures as the layman needs to go. The principles laid down do not cover the whole subject, but few practical business men want to go into the details of typog- raphy and art. What we all want is the fundamentals that will be a guide to learning and a standard by which we can measure our own and others' work. And so in this chapter we have seen what constitutes an efficient letterhead for any business and how, by following a simple chart, it is possible to build up the essentials of a letterhead. We have seen that enclosures fall into three classes, missionary, reenforcement, and selling enclosures, and how scientifically to discover which of the three will make the most efficient kind of enclosure. Then we took up the problem of layouts and saw how to prepare copy for the printer and how to lay out copy so that the reader will quickly grasp the main idea. In the next chapter we shall see how to make preliminary try-outs of our letters, of our circulars, of our booklets, before we have spent too much money on them; how to organize our work — whether it be the daily dictation of routine let- ters or the mailing of one circular, or the directing of a whole campaign, or conducting a follow-up system; how to deter- mine the relative advantages of using sealed, first-class let- ters, fiUed-in or unfiUed-in letters, individually typewritten letters, or imitation typewritten letters, and so on. All that we may know about writing letters and planning enclosures may go for naught, however, if we don't know how to use our knowledge most efficiently. Therefore, the next chapter will consist of instructions about the practical, everyday conduct of business by means of the mails. We'll trace the growth of a correspondence department from the one-man office to the huge corporation office. Then we will be ready to take up testing, idea Usts, material sources, and the other big ideas which are included in the final chapter. 495 PROBLEM SECTION IX I AM not one of those who go so far as to say that a man's business stationery is one of the most important adjuncts of his letters. In fact, I know better from experience. While working as a correspondence organizer or in writing sales and collection letters, it has often been my lot to find a client stocked up with stationery as poorly adapted to the needs of his proposition as you could well conceive, and financially unable to junk it for new stationery. Yet his letters, by having the right stuff in them, overcame this un- necessary handicap and were made to pay. The same conditions may have come under your observation. You have probably seen salesmen or collectors whose clothes were shabby or whose toilet was neglected, but who could get the business just the same. There was a ball player some years ago with the New York Giants who was deaf and dumb — a pitcher, at that- — ^yet he made good. But such exceptions don't prove that a ball player doesn't need to hear, or that a salesman shouldn't be neat and clean, or that a business firm's stationery shouldn't be appropriate. I cited the instances merely to show that the claims of specialists as to the absolute sine qua non of their particular specialties, are sometimes exaggerated. You probably will not fail in business if your stationery isn't perfect. But if your stationery is perfectly adapted to your requirements, you will find doing business by letter easier and more economical. And if careful planning of stationery will help a business even ever so little, who would be so careless as to neglect this simple precaution? 496 LETTERHEADS, ENVELOPS, ENCLOSURES The Kind of "Loads" My Letters Must Carry Onty Convey Simple Ideasr Create Confidence? Create Prestige? Exercise Persuasion? How My Letterheads Can Help the Readers to Get My Ideas By Showing My Business? -"^^le^ By Showing Facts About illZfut. «*■«//&«*• By Showing Picture ol Goods? ^»«i^-T&^ By Giving Impression of Age? "t/ / By Giving Impression of Size? /T^^i"'^ By Giving Impression of Digm'ty? ^ O^^tfi'^ By Giving Impression of Individuality? By Showing Artistic Taste? By Indicating Mechanical Skill? By Giving Impression of Efficiency? Essentials of the Most Efficient Letterhead for My , Purposes Its General Effect Must Be It Must Contain What Are My Resources for Covering Above Needs? Should Bo Printed from Type Embossed Lithographed Hand Drawn Quality of Paper Color Ink Quantity Panel 231 497 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE Hence to understand thoroughly the principles covered in the last chapter is just as important in its own place as to understand the principles that have gone before. And in this problem section I'll give you an opportunity to practise them through the use of the charts which I described in the foregoing chapter. First, let me see how thorough a grasp you have on the principles of drawing up the specifications for a letterhead after its requirements have been charted. Suppose? you were planning the stationery for a hardware and household supply store. We shall say that this is an old New England store founded back in colonial days — 1784. It carries hardware, cutlery, kitchen utensils, household goods, and garden supplies. On the previous page I have checked off on a chart the requirements of the letterhead. To test your mastery of the subject, fill out the specifications side of the chart, on one of your blank forms, according to the method I followed in the last chapter for the Trenton Potteries Company and the Ohio Carriage Company. File it in your Material File, and in the next problem section we shall find a letterhead built up for just such a store and we shall see how near your specifications came to being right. Then let's try your skill still further. Suppose this time you were going to order stationery for a bank. I shall just give you the general outline of conditions: the bank is a big, solid one with $2,000,000 capital and $1,500,000 surplus; it owns its own handsome moderri building, and its directors are among the most substantial business men of the commu- nity in which the bank is located. In this case I offer no suggestions at all. Work out the specifications for a letterhead from one of your blank charts, and then in the next problem section we shall see how accu- rate you have been, by a study of the actual letterhead of just such an institution. For your third problem I am going to make you do prac- tically all the work. I shall simply give you the name of 498 LETTERHEADS, ENVELOPS, ENCLOSURES a well-known manufacturer, and let you figure out the probable conditions and requirements for yourself. We will select a firm that we all have heard about, the Gillette Safety Razor Company — but whose letterhead I don't think many of you have seen, as its correspondence is mostly with the trade. Work out the whole letterhead proposition for it, using one of your blank charts, and in the next problem section I shall reproduce the original and see how well you now know how to handle the problem. The matter of choosing the kind of circular to enclose with a letter is one that is so clear and simple when worked out by the chart shown in the last chapter, that I am not going to ask you to spend your time on working out test problems on this feature. As a practical man you will find plenty of tests for the chart right in your own business, and there is enough real work for you to do on this subject without asking you to take up imaginary problems that would do you no particular good. What I think you should do, however, is to submit to the test of the chart the enclosures you have previously used, or seen used in your line of business. Many funda- mental errors in the character of enclosures are constantly being made, and you will find it worth while to study and to see if you yourself have been making them. But I am anxious to have you understand clearly the principles of arrangement on a circular or booklet. You should know enough about layout to be able to check up the work of any artist or printer you employ, and in the preceding chapter I have given you some sound principles to guide you. Just to see how good a grasp you have on it, I want you to workout this test case: suppose that you were a retail haberdasher and were sending out a letter on your line of fall hats. Suppose that you also had the agency for a fine Une of union suits that your regular hat trade might be interested in. Obviously, a little missionary enclosure on the union suits would be valuable, wouldn't it.? 499 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE Well, we'll say you have a nice cut showing the union suit folded in its individual box, the top cover oflf to display the goods. And we'll say that the manufacturer has furnished you with small swatches, or samples, of the fabric. Your missionary circular is to be, say, 6 x 33^. Now lay out the most effective arrangement of cut, sample, and about six lines of copy. Next time we'll take a look at a very effective circular of just such a kind and see how closely you came to getting the most efficient layout. Then for a booklet cover or frontispiece. Suppose you were getting up one on hand-made quilts. All the copy that is to be on the page is this: The irresistible charm of beauty and individuality in the hand work of exclusive designs. Your cut, we will say, will show a number of girls quilting by hand. Make a layout to show where you would place copy and cut on a page 9}/^ x 6}/2. We'll see the original in the next problem section. And then you can check up your work. 500 PART X ORGANIZING CORRESPONDENCE WORK AND TESTING LETTERS CHAPTER X ORGANIZING CORRESPONDENCE WORK AND TESTING LETTERS IN the previous chapter we saw how to plan scientifically the sort of business stationery that would prove the most efficient transportation medium for our letters, and the sort of circular or enclosure that would most efficiently back up our letters. We had already seen how to stop the prospect's attention and focus it on the idea in our letter, how to make our letters exercise persuasion, how to express warm, personal sincerity, how to make our meaning clear, how to overcome indifference by means of a visionary or negative idea, how to convey an idea in words, and how to size up the work a letter has to do. In other words, we know the fundamental principles of producing the copy for a letter and preparing the stationery and enclosure for it. The next step will be how to use with the greatest efficiency the letters we write or dictate. Just as we began with the very simplest of letter problems in uncovering the principles of writing letters, working up through the most difficult ones in the order in which they appear in practical business, so in learning to properly or- ganize our work we shall begin with the simplest conditions and work up. If you were about to start yourself in a small, one-man business you would probably find that even before you rented an oflSce or store there would be a letter or two to write. Probably you would take pen and ink and write them — and if they were important you would possibly make copies by hand. But as writing letters became a regular job with you the work of making hand copies would soon occupy too much 503 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE of your time and you would then take your first step in organ- izing your correspondence — installing a copying machine. And in a way the whole matter of organizing correspondence is mirrored in that first step — installing the old-fashioned letter press. The smallest going business you can think of recognizes — has to recognize — the value of a copying press when more than a letter or two a week is to be written. Copying letters by hand takes the time of someone who could be better employed, and it also opens a way to make mistakes. Every step in organization, every installation of machinery, every employment of a stenographer or typist or mail boy, every short cut in arranging personal work, should be dictated by the same reasons — to save the time of someone who could he better employed, or to save the risk of viistalces. No step in organizing a correspondence department should be taken that one, or both, of these reasons does not dictate, nor should any step that one, or both, of these reasons dictates be omitted. For instance, in the small one-man business just taken as an illustration, when the number of letters grows to a point that even the time for writing them in longhand begins to infringe on the time needed for other affairs, or when the appearance of handwritten letters begins to give an erroneous impression of the business, then more machinery should be installed — longhand letters should give way to typewritten letters. Simultaneously, the old hand-copying press will be superseded by the carbon copies that can be made with a typewriter, and the primitive letter book will give way to a correspondence file. If you will keep that one general principle of time or labor saving in mind as we follow the development of correspondence organization to its point of highest systematization, you can easily tell just which stage of organization is fitted to your own needs. There is no practical need for incurring the expense of time-saving or labor-saving devices or systems if the time or labor thus saved cannot be profitably used at something else. 504 ORGANIZING WORK In the panel at the top of the next page, there is represented all the organization necessary for the small one-man business which requires only an occasional letter — you see it is no organization at all. The manager does the entire job. But in the chart at the bottom of that page, you see how a greater demand on the manager's time has caused him to organize more closely. The dotted lines represent what would prob- ably have been his first step — installing a typewriting machine to perform the hard work of transcribing and of making file copies. This would have been but a temporary organization, followed, as business increased, by hiring a stenographer to take over the typewriting, to make file copies, and to attend to the mailing. In the final scheme of organization the man- ager has left himself only the work of preparing the matter for his letters and dictating it to the stenographer. This is all the organization that is ever given to the corre- spondence work of some business managers and department managers. The number of stenographers may be increased to a dozen or a hundred, but the plan is the same. But is it enough? For a business with no settled routine — a business in which each letter is unlike any other letter in the questions it answers or the idea it conveys or the action it seeks — ^for such a business it is enough. But how many businesses or how many departments are like that.!^ Very few. In almost every business the matters which have to be handled by correspondence are limited to certain definite classes or types. A sales manager today has to write Jones a letter of repri- mand for quoting unpermissible terms to a certain customer. The idea he wants to convey to Jones, we will say, is that Jones has not studied the firm's sales manual carefully enough or he would have known that such terms were more than they could give. That's the Big Idea, we shall assume, just for an example. The sales manager gives careful thought to expressing that idea — selecting the salient features by which it can be visualized, and arranging them in such a way that the idea will be burned into Jones' mind. So far, so good. 505 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE J Manager [^ Writing the Copy Mailing Transcribing Making File Copies Panel 232 Stenographic Force Writing the Copy Transcribing Making File Copies Mailing Panel 233 506 ORGANIZING WORK But tomorrow, another salesman, Smith, sends in an order in which he, too, has made a concession which the house can- not accept. It is not the same error that Jones made, but its cause is the" same — that is, carelessness in studying the sales manual — and the Big Idea the sales manager will want to con- vey is the same. Now, if the sales manager goes to work and thinks out the expression of that idea all over again, isn't he duplicating his yesterday's work.? Isn't he spending time on something that he could better leave to a system? Certainly. That's a typical problem. With a staff of salesmen on the road, the questions which come up between them and the sales manager will, in a year, be largely of the same nature. And with a list of a hundred or a thousand customers, the same sort of similarity will crop up in correspondence. I have cited the sales manager's case merely as an example. In any department of any business the general correspondence will similarly fall into certain fixed types. Exceptions — new and unprecedented conditions — are bound to come up, but the bulk of all dictated letters in any one business will be merely adaptations of a certain number of ideas, motives, and sympathies. Therefore, assuming that the correspondent's time is valu- able enough to make a waste of it costly, the next step in organizing his work is to install a system by which the features of an idea, used frequently and carefully worked out, can be turned to instantly, thus saving the work of thinking them out again, or the danger of expressing them in a careless way. So, on the next page, you see a chart showing the organiza- tion of correspondence work for a man who finds his letters or a certain portion of them, running mostly along fixed lines. Such a system was explained in the fourth chapter and you were supplied with a skeleton card index for it. If you will go back to the outline of that index, which I called a "Word File," and refer to pages 225 and 227, you will recall how simply it works. You have only to analyze the nature of your everyday letters and dig out the Big Ideas they have 507 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE Index of Ideas Writing the Copy Transcribing Stenographic Force Making File Copies Mciiing Panel 234 508 ORGANIZING WORK to convey. Then for each Big Idea, work out in your leisure time the features that visualize it. For each feature, index, as they occur to you, words, phrases, illustrations, similes, and so on, that help to express it. With such a Word File at hand, after you decide on the Big Idea to he conveyed in any routine letter, you simply refer to your index and look up that particular idea. The file will show you just how to go about conveying it in the clearest way, without having to do your original thinking all over again. This method, you see, relieves you from thinking out over and over again the features for each individual idea. Use of the Word File permits you to throw the work on a system. After you have selected for some important idea in frequent use, the features which visualize it and the words and phrases which express it, you can utilize your work on a thousand subsequent letters and make each one as forcible as if it had been given hours of individual study. Such a system is particularly valuable for the head of a big business whose letters mostly involve ideas on the big policies of the business. Where correspondence is mostly with a limited number of people — as a sales manager's correspondence with his men, or a small firm's correspondence with its few customers, such a flexible system just fills the bill. The repeated use of identical phrases would be unwise in such cases, but with the index of each Big Idea's features, the writer has a guide to- the feature to bring out to convey each idea, and he c^n reshape his phrases and sentences to suit the case. Where such conditions exist, the next logical step forward in the organization of correspondence work is a form paragraph system. A form paragraph system merely requires putting be- tween your Word File and your work of preparing copy for your letters, a system that will relieve you of working out the wording and phrasing of features of ideas in frequent use. The chart on the next page graphically states my idea. The correspondent's work, with such a system, is reduced: first, 509 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE Index of Ideas Form Paragraphs Writing the Copy Stenographic Force Mailing Transcribing Making File Copies Panel 235 510 ORGANIZING WORK to settling on the Big Idea to be conveyed by each letter; second, to looking up its features in his Word File; and, third, from the completelj^ worded paragraphs in the form paragraph system, to reading to his stenographer the para- graph worked out previously. He dictates only what is necessary to link them up or to cover the individual points of the case at hand. This is the very simplest of form paragraph systems, one which can be used to advantage by any man" with enough correspondence to employ a stenographer. It is not merely a saving in work but, what is equally as important, it standard- izes the quality of letters. No one can dictate equally well at all times — especially when many letters are greatly alike. The mind tires of them, the best of phrases sound stale, the most vivid of words seem commonplace, and the dictator slides over points, or endeavors to use new phrases or new words. The result is that the standard of his letters at the end of his dictation falls far below the standard of those dictated when his mind was fresh. But with the expression of his ideas' features carefully worked out once for all, in the very best possible form, he can keep every letter up to the highest standard. As I said, I hardly know of any man with letters enough to dictate to keep one stenographer busy, who cannot make efficient use of that much system. And as he develops its use he can generally expand and extend it to take in much more of his ordinary dictation. He will soon find that, just as he is making use of only certain Big Ideas in his letters, he is seeking only a certain few actions with them. And thus the form paragraph system may be used with equal efficiency on standard closing paragraphs, standard openings, and standard motive-fuel paragraphs, and so on. The most unhandy part of a general form paragraph system, according to my experience, is getting the right form paragraphs quickly and easily. I have seen correspondents compile a com- prehensive collection of excellent form paragraphs and then make ineffective use of them because they lacked a graphic 511 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE index. The men overlooked the fact that the more com- plete the average form paragraph book or file becomes, the harder it is to find just the paragraph wanted without as much work in searching for it as it would be to write it. The ordinary system I have found in use in offices I have investigated consists of allotting a number to each form para- graph. Paragraphs are filed either in a looseleaf book or a vertical file in numerical order. The dictator's index shows these paragraphs divided into classes, such as "openers," "closers," "acknowledgments of orders," and so on. Under each of those class headings, the paragraph itself is indicated by its first line and a short description. Thus, under the class heading of "acknowledgments of orders" would be "shipment delayed," "are holding order for fresh stock." But after a few days of actual work I have nearly always found that if the file of form paragraphs is at all complete, the correspondents have considerable trouble in picking out the best form paragraphs for a letter. I have found that most of them have to refer pretty frequently to the actual paragraph to see how the wording fits. The trouble with the indexes is that they classify the form paragraphs according to what the paragraphs say, although the correspondent, as he looks for the right paragraph, thinks of it in terms of ?/7m/ the reader is thinking or what he wants the reader to think. For instance, if a customer had complained that the wrong goods had been shipped and if you wanted to write him a letter confessing the mistake, but giving him the idea that it was very unusual and would not occur again, in looking for a good opening paragraph you would probably think of it as one that would put the customer in sympathy with your idea. But in the ordinary index to a form paragraph file you can't look for it that way, for the index is made according to the facts or decisions stated in the form paragraphs which have been written. Your predicament, you see, is a good deal like trying to find a man's name on a list that has been classi- fied by towns or states. 512 ORGANIZING WORK Now I have invented what I think is a better method of indexing form paragraphs. Wherever my plan has been in- stalled it has saved work and resulted in better dictation. Its principle is simple. I index the form paragraphs accord- ing to the purposes for which they are wanted instead of according to what they say. We know that the first thing to do after a general size-up of the letter's work, is to fix on the Big Idea it is to convey. Therefore, when you are ready to start dictating and want to pick out the best form opener for that letter, you will natur- ally look for one that will make a good introduction for the Big Idea. Hence, you should index all your openers accord- ing to the idea they are to introduce. To make my point clear, I am showing roughly in the chart on the next page an index, according to my system, to the form paragraphs of an investment house. The details are not car- ried out very far, partly because I cannot now recall them all and partly because they would only be confusing to you. But I have set down enough specific details to allow you to catch my idea. You can see how the same general system would apply to any business or any department of a business. The index should be laid out on a single sheet, mounted on heavy cardboard about as you see the skeleton index as I have drawn up the illustration. The dictator, when he has settled on the Big Idea to convey, puts his finger on that idea in his index. In the next column his form-openers, adapted especially to leading up to that particular idea, are classified according to the question or attitude or frame of mind that is indicated by the prospect's letter. Each of these openers is written to lead sympathetically to a specific answer to the prospect's question or doubt, and from that answer to lead to the Big Idea. Hence, the correspon- dent has but to run his finger along the list until he finds the opener that meets his prospect's question. With the opener settled and noted by its index number, the correspondent then moves his finger across to his list of 513 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE o *^ O O ■^^ id 0) 50_, » OOW fH*>W o £ o o o 1 1 Z o ^ s >> , 4J *4 (0 > ■2 ^^ la^ 1 ^ *J *^ O »H c o v> vi a a o ^ o fc ri V o V ^ h p^ a tA .^ Z >* 3 i' a> <-t ♦* a 9 ° c £ >* T* o £ 5^ Sa ^ « 1 .^1 ^ 4 4 ^ 1 ■!i ^ << " < S a> 1 s 1 o.>» o e> u or) -H ♦» o o o w 3 33 ** ^© 3«>© CO 01 1 «JO 0) St* oS> 4JO oj a"° ^si" Is -",a "Set -^ S i -i J, n V li cd 17^-^ HAKDWAP-t AND CiTL-EP-Y l\)tchen Utensils and Household Goods CAHDF.N SUPPLJtlS 75-t CWbpbI Slr«-vi 31+ Su NEW HAVF.N, CONN. Panel 241 For the first specification, your study of what the letters need — to create confidence and exercise persuasion — coupled with the fact that the business can show a history dating back to 1784, should have indicated to you that the general impression should be of an old, reliable and complete store. You can see that this is the impression given by the original letterhead reproduced above. For the "matter to appear" my own list ran this way : Firm name subtitle "Ye Old Hardware Store" (this for its effect on confidence); illustration of Colonial Kitchen (this to carry out impression of age); date business was established; list of lines carried; address. You can easily see how each of these specifications grew out of the list of requirements, and you can also see how they all were actually used in the letterhead itself. The next problem you had was to chart both requirements and specifications for a bank letterhead which was described to you. The letterhead I had in mind was that of The Northern Trust Company, reproduced at the top of the opposite page. Now let us run over the facts on the letter so you can com- pare them with the specifications which you charted. 538 ORGANIZING WORK ^"* - The Northern Trust Company CHIQAaO Panel 242 First you see the general impression of solidity and big- ness. I don't suppose anyone could have failed to specify that, for on your chart of requirements you must surely have set down a need for reflecting dignity and prestige. Then there is the capital and surplus — I trust most of you specified that, because it shows that in your chart of require- ments you had thought to include something to show "size of business." The illustration of the building is for the same purpose, and the hst of directors helps the impression of re- liability and prestige. GILLETTE SAFETY RAZOR CO. OPnCES AHh FACTORIES BOSTON ■ MONTMAL - LONDON ■ PARIS Panel 243 Your third problem was to work out the complete chart for a letterhead for the Gillette Safety Razor Company. Its letterhead is reproduced in the panel above, so you can check back on yourself just as we did for the bank letter- head. 539 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE In Panel 244, below, is the missionary circular and in Panel 245 is the booklet frontispiece that you were to lay out. The principal thing I wanted you to test yourself on in these two problems was the course provided for the reader's interest to take. How does your work compare with the illustrations below? In the missionary circular for the haberdasher, the cut should logically come first, if a headhne were used it should come second, although in this case the dealer used none. The sample and copy follow in order. The size of the whole affair would not permit much variation except in the order of points. .,....-,, ., ..- '■ *■ . ' ■.. J. - ^ , ^ - This lutli: pii^c t»r cioch L- ^ .vimp ■..I'Swi.-RibbcJ fibii^ uMiJ a.d. why V.{;.?jr Swi;s Rjblscd Union SuiL. ft so pcrf.vily. JOHN T, SHAYNE & CO. P«U(-^r HtMut Ccrriir CliivJieo, l\U 1 We IrresistiDle v^narm 'of Deauty'i™' Indi\Kdualikr in tKe hand \»?ork , of ricclusive Desi^s Panel 244 Panel 245 But in the booklet frontispiece the movement of attention from upper left-hand to lower right-hand is very effectively worked out. It is only the general principles of arrangement, however, that I am interested in showing, and I will leave you to go as far into the study of layout details as your personal taste may incline you. .540 ORGANIZING WORK This is the final problem section on details. Hereafter we shall consider the letter as a whole. In the next chapter will be traced, step by step, all the points I have outlined in previous chapters and an entire letter will be written from the begin- ning. The next chapter is one of the most important, for after you have correlated all the points I have brought up, you'll be ready to install my system of letter writing in your own business. 541 PART XI MATERIALS FOR LETTERS AND USES FOR THEM CHAPTER XI MATERIALS FOR LETTERS AND USES FOR THEM IF you had a sharp ax and knew how to chop down a tree with it to great profit to yourself, you would soon become dissatisfied with only an occasional job of tree-chopping. You would want to go where more trees were. A machinist who has a fully equipped jobbing shop and who knows how to do jobbing work at a profit, is not long content to do only the jobs that naturally come to him. He begins advertising and soliciting for more jobs. The same holds true for a busi- ness man who can either write letters that bring results or who can get them written and mailed with efficiency. He is on the alert for more avenues by which to put his ability to profitable use. Now we have seen in preceding chapters all the essentials of a good letter for any purpose, and how to incorporate these essentials in our own letters. But one more step remains. We have a valuable tool in our hands. That tool is the knowledge of how to write a letter which will convey our ideas to another person in such a way that the other person will visualize our idea, believe in it, and act on it if action is desired. And we know how to go about using that tool efficiently on the work that comes to hand. The step which remains, therefore, is to find new uses for our letters and materials for them. And that step is the text of this eleventh and last chapter. A great deal has been written about finding more and profitable uses for business letters and finding raw materials out of which to build letters, but I think little of it was written by men who had to pay the costs of letters and count 545 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE the proceeds from them. For the suggestions seem to have been written mostly from the point of view of merely swelling the mails. To me, developing the uses for letters in any business and gathering the materials out of which to write them is just a simple case of sound merchandising. If you have the right grasp on all that you have read about writing letters you now have this one point firmly in mind: that a letter has as its first purpose the conveying of an idea. With that point in mind, it takes no great reasoning powers to arrive at this conclusion : if you have no idea to convey to a man — or a whole list of men — which will do you or them a benefit, you should not write a letter to him — or them. But the moment you arrive at that conclusion you come face to face with another, and this is: if you have an idea which would benefit you if conveyed to a man or a list of men by letter, then you should by all means write a letter to convey that idea. Follow me closely in this, because we are getting to the very corner-stone of efficient mail sales, mail collections, mail adver- tising — in fact, of handling any business by mail. I said handling business by mail was to me a simple case of sound merchandising, and we shall see that it is. If you had a store, the prime purpose of which was to purvey shoes, your merchandising plans would always hinge on these conditions: "What shoe stocks can I secure and at what price? How much of them would my trade take at a profitable margin to me?" And when a salesman came along and offered a line of shoes to you, probably you would at once calculate on how your customers would take to them — what price they would probably pay, and how many pairs you could conveniently dispose of. Now here is one of the rudiments of good merchandising: for the shoe merchant to stock up with a line of shoes unsuited to his trade is bad business; for him to stock up with a line at a price that would put the retail price too high for his trade is also bad business; but to fail to load up to his trade's limit 54(5 MATERIALS AND USES FOR LETTERS with any line that his customers will buy at a good margin to himself — that is just as bad business! Similar conditions determine the mailing of business letters. If the idea you have for a circular letter to your customers, or to a list of prospects, or to some delinquent debtors, or for a general letter to your salesmen, or for a bulletin to your employees — if the idea for it, on analysis, is not shown to be one that will accomplish some definite benefit greater than its cost, don't mail it. But if there is an idea about your busi- ness that would be profitable if conveyed to your customers or your prospects or your debtors or your salesmen or your employees, then it is bad business to neglect mailing a letter to convey it. Now perhaps you may think undue importance has been given to such a simple principle. "I knew that much, all the time," you are saying. I have no doubt you did know it, but just the same, I know to a certainty that the average business house and the average business man does not follow this principle in practise. So many times that I can't count them, I have heard business men say: "We aim to get out a letter to our trade once a month;" or I have heard advertising men say, "You ought to send a mailing card of some kind to your trade every so often." They say that without a moment's thought as to whether there is an idea that it will pay to convey, to put in each letter or card. And just because so many business men have the foregoing idea and follow that idea up by useless circulars or letters — turning to someone who has a gift for stringing words together and ordering "a letter to be written and mailed out this month" or "a series of mailing cards for this season" — just because that is the way so many business letters are conceived, you hear so many business men say, "Oh, I dump all circular stuff mailed to me straight into the waste-basket." An alarming percentage of all the trade letters mailed are mailed only because it seems quite the thing "to mail some- thing," and so "something" is prepared. Many sales 547 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE managers write weekly or monthly letters to all their men simply because they consider it an accepted thing to do, and not because they have a Big Idea that, when conveyed to their men, will result in profit. That is one side of the question. But on the other side are thousands of businesses in which splendid ideas exist. These ideas would mean increased business if conveyed to customers or prospects or salesmen or employees, by letter — but nobody is looking properly for those ideas, recording them, and making use of them. So you see, some concrete, simply stated formula by which to control the use of letters is needed — not only to prevent the use of letters that have no real idea, but also to suggest the use of ideas that would make good letters. Therefore, to impress it on you, I shall again state the fundamental of letter writing: No letter should be given the time for writing or the cost of postage, that does not carry a definite idea, which, when con- veyed to those to those addressed, will really pay, either profit or in good will which will bring indirect profit. Every idea, — sales idea, pohcy idea, collection idea, in- formative idea or inspirational idea — that comes up in busi- ness and that would make money for the business directly or indirectly, if conveyed to another, should have a letter written and mailed to convey it. That, as I said before, is the very corner-stone of the only sound policy there is both for finding uses for letters in your business, and finding good material for letters. A manufacturer in New York, whose name I am not at hberty to give, was spending about $10,000 a year in mailing out form letters, mailing cards, and "broadsides," as he called them, to the trade in his line. He had been doing it for years. He had them prepared for him by an outside writer, to whom he would write, when impulse suggested, "Get us up some- thing to mail out next month and submit copy as soon as you can," He had been doing this for several years and said that 548 MATERIALS AND USES FOR LETTERS it paid. But when he was asked for a detailed report on his results he admitted he had none — ^he just assumed that his policy paid, because, as he said, "We have to do something to keep our name before the trade." Yet in that man's business there were dozens of good live ideas cropping up all the time that would have made business for him, if properly conveyed to the trade, but he never thought of putting them into letters or mailing cards. And the professional letter writer he employed had no opportunity to know of them. One minor item in his line that had never amounted to much, happened to have a point about it of particular war-time interest. By chance a form letter on this item, with a small enclosure and a return order card, was mailed to a list of 3,200 dealers. It brought back over $1,000 worth of orders direct, and before the season was over $6,300 worth had been sold to that hst. The whole mailing cost $152.50 complete, including a fee of $100 paid to the letter writer for the copy. A further study of ideas brought out the fact that the manufacturer always deemed it wise to exchange any numbers a dealer found he could not sell. The policy had been proved a good one and salesmen had made much of it. But it had never been put into a letter. Four different mailing cards and two form letters, each conveying this one idea, were pre- pared, keyed, and mailed during the year following and brought back several thousand dollars in orders. Now what had been the trouble with this manufacturer? Such opportunities had always existed. It was simply that he didn't have a set pohcy to guide him in finding the uses and materials for letters. He was not properly merchandising the ideas in his business. In principle he had been doing no differently than a mer- chant who has items of merchandise in his store which the trade in his locahty would buy if the trade knew of it, but who doesn't think of displaying those goods or of advertising them. Now to carry this merchandising role a step farther: Every manufacturer and every merchant knows that one of the 549 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE prime necessities of good merchandising is a stock record. He must know just what stock he has. When goods are received they must be entered on the stock record and when they go out they must be deducted from the stock record. And hkewise in merchandising the ideas of a business, the prime necessity is an Idea Record. When you think, for instance, of an idea for any department of your business, or when one is suggested to you by an employee, or by a cus- tomer's remarks, or by an advertisement, or by a magazine article, or from any other source, it ought to be recorded somewhere, so that it will not be forgotten. Only thus can you prevent good ideas from becoming as much "dead stock" in your business as are the goods a merchant allows to lie on a back shelf until they go out of style or spoil. Such a record should, and will if used in the way I am going to show you, not only insure new ideas or newly discovered ideas being put to use in letters to customers or prospects, or bulletins to salesmen, or memoranda to house employees; but it will insure their being kept in use, and used to their full capacity. For instance, a good sales idea after being used is many times shoved out of mind by new ones coming up, when as a matter of fact it might be just as profitably used again the following season and many later seasons, or it might be used several times in the same season. Again, a good idea incor- porated in a letter to prospects might be a profitable idea to convey to salesmen, or it might also result in better coopera- tion in the office if made into a house memorandum. In short, in organizing or improving the correspondence work of a client I have often found a good live idea being used in one department but unknown in another departinent which could have used it to equally good advantage. In other words, ideas will not return half or a quarter or a tenth of their real profit unless they are merchandised, just as a line of goods in a store will not yield its full profit to the merchant unless it is properly merchandised. So what we shall build up in this chapter is a merchandising system for 550 MATERIALS AND USES FOR LETTERS ideas. And the first step in doing it is study of a graphic Idea Record. An Idea Record, to be of practical use, must be formed and adapted to the special requirements and opportunities of your own business. You must first get a clear, firm grasp on all the ways in which letters can help your business, and an equally clear grasp on what sort of materials in your business will make profitable ideas for such letters. On the next page is a chart showing the whole field of letter activities worked out by System from its long experience with the use of letters and its many investigations into the methods of hundreds of businesses. At first glance this chart looks formidable. But dissect it slowly and you will see that it is really very simple, though very complete. It shows, in the first place, what all letters you may use in your business will do — "Transmit your Ideas." That you already know. In the second place you see "Your Ideas" divided up into seven generic types — "About Your Goods or Services," "About Their Quahty, Price, and Utility;" "About Your Materials and Methods;" and so on. Analyze those seven types and you will find that, no matter what your particular business is, all the letters you use — we are now considering the routine dictation of a busi- ness — fall into one of the seven divisions which have been listed on the chart. Hence, the thing you should do first in building up an Idea Record is to study the nature and activities of your own business and decide which of those seven types of ideas you can use in your business, and cross out from the chart those that do not enter into your sphere. For example, if you have no shop or office or staff of employees, naturally ideas about work standards or discipline will be of no value, so you would cross out that square. This process of elimination is one that should have careful thought and analysis, as when you are through with it you will have left a chart of the kind of ideas you consider essential to be transmitted to others. 551 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE WHAT THE BUSINESS LETTER CAN DO FOR YOU This chart will help you plan out the various ways in which you can use letters advantageously. First care- fully analyze your work, and then match the result with this chart. You will prott- ably find that you can use effective letters in a surpris- ing number of ways. la youi Acrual Cusiamers * lo Cfutc DCfflM IW I«K CMOS Of 1' / la SMpif nu r r ^ PlCSpeClrffi Puichjsers ^ . la £lllBIrSB jM Mj.niim Perionil or ^ ^ lo Ultdpitl PfOAlCMI 01 SJlet PoUtiii lo eum Good wia • 01 yout Safes Force 1 , iDlcimViBosol Hiicluiti irt Cofliuntn on Good) V To youi WhalEsalers and Retailers To Ckick SwTko ue SUtinto-i AcU It Atfput ComtUOti -- ^ ^ I* Ennuuic rrtetiBS. IsPromgu EllkliBCi. tic To Otners myoui Oreanization J ' ^ < ^ ' To b» Di-jU CM[ltl4ll0ll V ^ To Act ja) and Possible Supply Sources ■^ ' lo [iteol ui Oexiop ion Euiting Mttkit -S dork .1 Tiw. OiNr SiUi ItucUt To all Others TOui business IS eoncerned ^nI^ ^ lo Cooiainile ind Diricl OpiiitiDBi «t loui Sttint Foicii v.- ;-. < la like oie> Ibt Efltui Wwliol Otlw Sllci leenclrt ^ . V 1 to Gilbei Ficti ibdut J OwiilKuii. MitciDtL H 1 V \ ... iB Githet citd>i InloroiiltoB. Giinl Crtaili,CallicltccoiiMk , V... To Bill COBHI. . KilirlJli Bi IgtiipmtK tBHi>i.uBoir:,. TeCondutHII, Other THnMeUDni vltti DittinT Ptiient Panel 246 5.5 "2 MATERIALS AND USES FOR LETTERS Next you should trace each of those seven types, or those of them which you have not eUminated, a step further on the chart and then you'll see that each one is again classified according to whom it can be profitable. Thus, your ideas about your goods or services, you will see by following the arrows starting from that square, may with profit be trans- mitted: first, to your actual customers; second, to your prospective purchasers; third, to members of your sales force; fourth, to your wholesalers and retailers; fifth, to others in your organization. That is quite simple, isn't it.? Now you are ready to analyze the field in your particular business for each separate type of idea and select those that enter into your own business. For example, if you do not come into direct contact with your actual customers, or consumers, scratch out the arrow leading to that field. If you do not deal with wholesalers and retailers, why, then, of course, you may scratch out the arrow leading to that field. You see now what this process of elimination is going to do for you. It is going to provide you with a graphic chart adapted individually to your own business, as well as show you all the possible avenues for making profitable use of letters, and all the sources to which to look for profitable ideas. With the type of ideas and the fields in which to use them selected, from each field you trace the arrows over to the kinds of objects to be attained from that field. Here again, you cross out the fields which you believe do not apply to your business. Now if you will recopy the chart for yourself, leaving out the squares completely eliminated for your business, and leaving out those arrows connecting the squares that are not applicable to your proposition, you will have a chart that will represent not only the kinds of ideas to look out for, but the avenues on which to use them. I have spoken only of the use of such a chart for letters, but if you do other forms of advertising the chart will be of equal service. For instance, while you may not correspond with 553 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE 5i f« I nut W l^!' fh ^ CS o O ^ o D if ^ »« "^ K 554 MATERIALS AND USES FOR LETTERS consumers in your business, if you advertise to them through newspapers or magazines, by leaving them on your chart as a possible field for ideas you can make the chart help you in gathering ideas for advertising copy just as much as it would help you in gathering ideas for letters. At any rate by carrying out my simple little plan you'll get a chart that can be of inestimable value in keeping your mind alert to all the opportunities for merchandising your ideas, through letters, through advertising, or through sales plans. But now the question is how to put such a chart into prac- tical use. It is a general guide to our idea-merchandising plans, just as a definite knowledge of merchandising values and of buying and selling markets is a general guide to the plans of a merchant. But most of us need something more than a general guide — ^we need a detailed map, so to speak, on which to trace out specific directions. And this map should be our Idea Record. The Idea Record that I have been working up to all this time, and the record that our graphic chart lays the founda- tion for, must be a permanent record in which we can set down every idea and every suggestion for an idea that may come to us, and from which we can quickly see not only where and how each idea should be used, but when it was so used. You probably can understand more quickly what such a record should be, if I at once show you a practical example of one. On the opposite page is an Idea Record kept by an automobile distributor. This concern has the general distribution of a certain car in a group of eastern states. It acts as the retail agent in its home city, but appoints subdealers in the other cities of its territory. Therefore, the chart illustrated on page 55'i would show its "fields" for ideas to be Prospective Purchasers, Members of Sales Force, Dealers, and Others. Now you will see by consulting the illustration on the oppo- site page, that in this case the "fields" have been closely specified. Instead of a general type of "prospective pur- chasers" we find five classifications — those to be reached 555 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE through the list of home-office prospects, those to be reached through dealers' lists, those to be reached through blue-book lists, those to be reached through newspaper advertising, and those to be reached through theater programs. In the same way specific divisions of the general fields indicated on the chart can be with a little ingenuity worked over to suit each particular business. But the main point to take to heart is that in such an Idea Record you have always at hand a 'practical working record for your big chart. The automobile distributor keeps his Idea Record in an ordinary trial balance book because the rulings in that book just suited him. Every time he gets the suggestion of an idea, for any purpose, he writes it briefly in pencil in the Idea column and makes a pencil check in the columns where he thinks it would be of use. It is left that way until he has thought over it enough to determine to try it out. Then he traces over the pencil writing with red ink, and in red ink he enters the date on which the letter or advertisement or memo- randa or circular embodying the idea was used on each of the fields. He also enters the "key number" of the mailing so that he can always quickly find exact copies of any letter or advertisement in which the idea was used. After the results are in, he summarizes them, as the illustration on page 554 shows. One word is a sufficient reminder. This book, you see, is not the main record of results, but a sort of manager s private ledger. The automobile distributor thumbs it and studies it continually, thus keeping every thought that he ever had for a sales or service idea from ever being forgotten. When an idea has paid on one field it immediately starts him planning ways of making it pay in other fields. Or if an idea paid last season, then he is re- minded to try it again this season. The entries in the illustration on page 554 are just imaginary ones made to show the workings of the record. The first idea, you can see, was first given a preliminary pencil entry, and then on February 20 was given a test through theater program 556 Materials and uses for letter^ advertising. The results were good. Therefore, as you may see by the entries on March 2, the idea was also used on several other fields, and repeated many times in newspaper advertising. The second idea was given a test on the hst of Home-Office Prospects, but the results did not justify its further use. Its record standing there as a constant reminder will obviate making a like mistake in future. The third idea has never yet got beyond the stage of a suggestion, but it serves as a reminder and some day just the right angle to it may occur. The fourth idea, inspection shows, is one purely for the home-office staff. Do you now see how an Idea Record helps the advertising and mail departments as the stock record of a merchant helps 'his merchandising plans ."^ Another point to bear particularly in mind is that an Idea Record book should not be a book designed for one particular season or for any short length of time. It should go on con- tinuously page after page, so that on consulting it you will always be encouraged to look all the way through it. One of its best helps is in the way it keeps old ideas or old suggestions from being neglected. In one mail-order business I know of, results for several years had been gradually faUing off, until it looked as though the institution's days were done. A new advertising man came into the business and, seeing the condition of things, set about to find the fundamental cause of the decline. It developed that the firm had changed advertising agents several times and each one had brought in new ideas, until in recent years the whole original character of both advertising and sales letters had been lost. The new advertising man dug out the advertising copy and letters of old days, studied their results, and finally decided to try out some of them again. They brought back as good returns as when the busi- ness was young, and by going back to the old ideas altogether, the business was completely rejuvenated. 557 '*^' BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE That failure was a simple example of what a permanent, carefully kept and constantly studied Idea Record book would have prevented. But just keeping a taibulated record of results of specific letters or advertisements is not enough, for I have never yet seen a business in which tabulated records will be constantly studied. In the interest of watching results from recent letters or advertisements the older ones soon cease to be noticed. But a simple record like the one illus- trated keeps the very oldest of records almost as interesting as the very newest ones. More than that, it keeps one alert for uses for ideas instead of specific letters or advertisements. A specific letter may wear out while the Big Idea back of it may be still as potent as ever it was. Now we have gone two steps forward in making the best use of letters and finding materials for them. First, from the chart of letter-possibilities on page 552, we can study out the kind of idea* for which to be on the lookout, and all the possible fields for which each idea can be profitably used. From the chart' — or rather from the information it discloses — we can then rule up an Idea Record especially adapted to our business, one which will keep before us virtually an inven- tory of our stock of ideas, while the adjoining columns indicating every possible field on which our letters can be used, will show just how much or how little advantage we have taken of each idea. In other words, such a chart of our letter-possibilities corresponds to the merchant's knowledge of his merchandise and the market for it, while the Idea Record corresponds to his stock record. Just imagine that you have that much system installed in your own business, so that you can see how it may be put to work for you. Suppose in the morning's mail you run across a letter from a customer enclosing payment for a bill and expressing ap- preciation of the goods recently bought. Suppose, in telling how well satisfied he has been, the customer mentions the purpose for which he is using the goods and that purpose is 558 MATERIALS AND USES FOR LETTERS one to which you had not given much consideration. But it strikes you that if one customer finds such a use im- portant, others would do likewise. Hence, in your Idea Record you immediately jot down the idea of this new use for your product. You later decide to try it out in your answers to inquiries from prospective cus- tomers. It pays. Now without an Idea Record in which to immediately record that suggestion, do you not see how easily the idea might be forgotten 10 minutes later.? Or even if it stuck in your mind long enough to try it out on letters to prospective purchasers, do you not see how it might have gone no farther.? But with your Idea Record ruled according to a chart of all the possible fields for your ideas, as soon as one has paid, the mere entering its results in the Idea Record will stimulate you to think of other ways of using it. Either at once or later you match it up tentatively with other fields represented in your book. Would it pay to get out a letter to regular customers particularly calling their attention to this new use? It might make a much bigger consumption. Would it pay to write a letter on it to dealers.? It might help them sell more of your product. Would it pay to send out a memorandum to all office employees calling attention to the new idea.? Would it pay to write a special letter to salesmen.? In short, you see how the Idea Record, if based on an accurate chart of your fields for ideas, almost forces you to take a full, 100% advantage of every suggestion. Again, suppose you are a retail merchant and in waiting on a good customer one day she tells you her family didn't like the new kind of coffee you sold her last time. As the coffee was a new brand on which you had the exclusive sale, you inquire if the customer followed directions closely, especially in regard to the directions that not so much coffee was required per cup as with other brands. You leam that she didn't stop to read the directions and made her coffee the same as usual. You get her to try an- other pound and she is greatly pleased. 559 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE Now, with an Idea Record, you, as a merchant, would immediately jot down that point as one to call to par- ticular attention in making coffee sales. You could, and any good merchant would make use of such an idea even without an Idea Record. But the book would immediately suggest the advisabihty of sending a memorandum to all the clerks. And it might also suggest the profit in sending a circular letter to a list of prospective customers. Hundreds of merchants— not only grocers, but dry goods, drug, hardware, house furnishings, general stores, all other kinds of merchants have told me they like to use circular letters, but the great 'problem is what to write about. Yet in every store, incidents, customers' expressions of satisfaction, customers' complaints, traveling salesmen's selling points, or manufacturers' magazine advertising are constantly re- veaUng suggestions that would make good ideas for letters, but the merchant without an Idea Record does not get them on his books. Practically all mail delivered to manufacturing, mail-order or wholesale houses, or as far as that goes, to any business, teems with suggestions that can be developed into ideas if somebody will look for them — and record them as they are found. For instance: In a certain manufacturing city one of the smaller banks which was making strenuous efforts under the leadership of a very aggressive president to get its share of commercial business, had been sending out a monthly circular letter to all rated business houses. The letters, which were prepared by an out-of-town agency, seemed to be good ones, but the president could never quite say that he saw results from them. One day one of the tellers — a young man in his twenties — came into the president's office and solicited the privilege of submitting copy for some of the bank's letters. "Why, I've no objection. Dean," said the banker, "but what makes you think you can do such work? It's a special- ist's work, in my opinion." 560 MATERIALS AND USES FOR LETTERS The young man pulled out a pocket memorandum book. "I've been setting down in this book for a year," he said, "all the things customers have said to me or asked me, or strangers have asked, which seemed to me might be good points to make in asking for accounts. I just thought that maybe as these are actual questions which occur to the minds of business men, they might be the questions in which other business men would be interested." The banker looked them over. "Good points, by George!" he exclaimed. "But I'm afraid we couldn't write them in letters. Some of my banking friends criticize me for being unethical, as it is." "I suspect that to a competing bank which has all the business it wants, anything in the way of advertising will seem unethical," replied the teller. "But if these questions are what our customers are asking there can't be anything very wrong about them to prospective customers." He was given a chance to write a few letters conveying the ideas his note book suggested, and for the first time in the history of the institution that bank's letters began to bring in new accounts. Now that young teller had gone with a sure purpose to the greatest, most prolific source of letter -ideas that exists — to the public — in his case to the bank's public. And no matter what your business is, your best source of letter material — idea material — is to be found in what your public thinks and says and writes. If your business is small you should make it a point to spend a certain portion of your time in meeting and talking not only with your actual customers, but also with the kinds of people from whom customers can be made. If your business is one in which you don't meet your trade personally, then their letters should be studied closely. And every suggestion should be set down religiously in your Idea Record whether it is of assured value or only of doubtful value, because snap judgment on it will not be enough. Get it down where you will come face to face with it every day or every week in the 561 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE future, and let your mature judgment get a chance at it every once in a while. In big businesses the policy of employing "Scouts" to travel around and call on customers and prospects — not attempting to sell, but just to gather first-hand suggestions for ideas — has been made to pay big returns for the firms which have tried the plan. Some firms use what are called "Scout Letters" — letters designed to bring back the customer's or prospect's per- sonal point of view. Some use of the firm's product, or general market information, will be put into these letters in the form of a request for the prospect's opinion on it. On the opposite page you will see a letter of this kind. The manufacturer who wrote it had each of his salesmen get from a few of his best dealers a list of 50 to 100 charge customers who were known to the dealer to be fathers of small children. Between 2,500 and 3,000 names were thus S2cured and the letter mailed. The replies brought back many suggestions for selling ideas^ — ^suggestions that were valuable because they came straight and unaffectedly from the manufacturer's public. While the writers of the letters were trying to answer the points brought up by the manu- facturer, most of them either consciously or unconsciously uncovered their personal attitude toward construction toys, and playthings in general, which was what the manufacturer wanted. Here is another example of the same idea. A New York laundry once sent a letter to all its customers purporting to put to a vote of the customers the advisability of adding a hand-laundering department. The replies uncoveried a number of fundamental complaints that had never been given expression before and that not only helped the laundry improve its service, but, when improved, made splendid new ideas for circular letters. Next, in a search for ideas, after customers and prospects and dealers, your 'product itself — or your service or your goods is probably the best source of material. An analysis of 562 MATERIALS AND USES FOR LETTERS the raw materials used; a study into where the raw ma- terials come from; the machinery required, or the watch- fulness necessary in its manufacture; the history of the product, and such points, will often put you on the trail of an idea you have missed in the past. A certain widely advertised tooth paste owes the idea back of its successful advertising to an analysis made by an advertising man of the raw materials. He found one chemical ingredient that he didn't understand, so he went to a library GIGANTO TOY COMPANY CHICAGO, ILL. Mr. J. A. Murray, Milwaukee, Wis. Dear Sir: As an American father of an American fajnily would you mind telling me, in the enclosed stamped envelope, your own personal opinion of what the attitude of American fathers towards German made toys is going to be after the war? The question is important to me, as I want to know just how far I would be justified in going in enlarging the scope of my toy manufacturing business. Just now, as you probably know — or at least as most fathers know — I specialize only on construction toys. But if I thought Americans would continue to demand only American toys after the war, I might go into the manufacture of general toys. Or do you think as a father, that construction toys ought to supplant the more useless toys altogether? I have nothing to sell you, as my goods are sold only by dealers, but I would appreciate your honest personal views on the buying of toys by American parents. If you don't believe in the cheap German toys, please tell me frankly, and if you don't believe in the more expensive American Construction toys like Giganto and similar toys, please be equally frank. May 1 have your opinion? Yours truly, GIGANTO TOY COMPANY Panel 248 563 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE SOURCES OF LETTER MATERIAL TALKING POINTS I CUSTOMERS (1) problems (2) needs (3) knowledge of supply to Gil their demands (4) experiences in dealing elsewhere (5) why they bought your product (6) their experience with it (7) their salisfaction (8) further plans (9) business (10) financial standing (11) accounts and collections (12) inquiries (13) complaints (14) direct correspondence about speci6c materiaU M SALESMEN (1) daily reports (2) interviews (3) field investigations (4) prize contests for ideas (5) reports of sales conven- tions (6) service bureau for customers (7) direct correspondence about specific materials III THE PRODUCT (1) raw materials used —kind ■"Quantity — ^uftlity — how end by vbom obtalDcd — dependability — cost and terms (2) manufacturing processes and equipment — methods of handling the work — skilled and unskilled nork- manship — appliances for saving labor and money — new processes worked out —time requkred in manufacture -delays in manufacture — how tested —accuracy, speed, novelty and complexity of machinea and opera tionk —{nipected ■yit^mi — sleticning or invenlton de- putmcoli (3) what it has done (4) what it needs (5) how you will profit by it (0) how you can obtain it, price, etc (7) quantity on hand IV ADVERTISING (1) policy (2) kind (3) quantity (4) appropriation (5) medium (6) wben used (7) by w horn prepared (8) returns (9) campaigns (10) letters, booklets, window displays, catalogs, fold- ers, fixtures, demon- strations, samples tes- timonials, reports on tests, etc. V SERVICE (1) ^\l]at it includes (2) when available (3) bow available (4) where available (5) delivery (6) number of orders on hand (7) facilities for handling orders (8) what delays i n shipment and why (9) how goods are packed (10) hew goods are shipped, route, date (11) condition in which they will be received (12) time to reach the customer (13) inducements (14) inside and outside assist- ance and transporta- tion facilities (15) general office systems (16) policies in dealing with customers (17) terms of sale VI COMPETITORS (1) customers (2) salesmen (3) product — quantity —quality —difficulty in manufaclurins — faalities for handling order* (4) advertising (5) service (6) number (7) size (8) number of lines (9) inexperience (10) terms of sale VII FIRMS IN SIMILAR LINES (1) points of contact with your business (2) advertising (3) sales campaign (4) business methods VIII NON-PURCHASER (1) why he did not buy your product (2) what he did (3) what the results were (4) what he ttill do next time IX MJSCELUNEOUS (1) facts of current issues (2) human interest stories (3) news of the day (4) trade conditions (5) price fluctuations (6) droughts, fires, floods (7) late or early seasons (8) changes in tariff or trans- portation rates (9) politics (10) new inventions and dis- coveries (11) government tests and trade reports (12) incidents from history. science, literature, etc. (13) bumper crops (14) plays at theaters, pictures, concerts (15) talks with acquaintarces, strangers, friends, rela- tives Panel 249 564 MATERIALS AND USES FOR LETTERS and studied up on that ingredient. Its chemical reaction on the teeth opened up a new, big idea. On the opposite page is a composite list of sources for letter and advertising and selling ideas compiled by the editorial staff of System from the methods used in several hundred different businesses. A close study of all the sources utihzed by these firms will show you many of a similar kind in your business. We have now found the way to chart out the possibihties which exist in our various businesses for the use of letters; we have found how to keep all these possibihties before us by a specially ruled Idea Record book, so that every idea we get can be quickly matched up with the possible fields on which to use it; and we have found to what sources to turn for suggestions for ideas. There remains just one point on which some of you may need a little guidance. That is how to build up and maintain lists that truly represent the best fields on which you can use letters. Lists of employees to whom memoranda of house policies, talking points, and so on, should be sent, are easy to compile. Lists of salesmen are always in hand. Lists of prospects from whom inquiries have been received are merely a matter of carding the names and addresses. It is when one begins to go outside his own business for more theoretical prospects, or for dealers with whom one has never done business, or supply houses from which one never has bought, that care is needed. There are three general sources of lists outside those created in one's own business: 1. Directories — city, telephone, trade, lodge, society, church and association directories. 2. Lists compiled by houses in allied but non-competing lines. 3. Lists sold by regular list houses. The first source of names is open to anyone who will take the trouble to get them. 565 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE For the local business, there is always the city directory from which names can be taken according to occupation, or according to address; there is the telephone directory from which the names will represent a responsible class, on the average; there is usually a classified telephone directory, classified by trades and professions; there is the rural tele- phone directory from which the names of farmers in any desired radius can be secured; there is the real estate tax roll giving names of property owners, and the personal property tax roll giving the names of the fairly well to do ; there are lists of school teachers, church members, lodge, society and club members. For the business covering all or part of the country there are mercantile reports like Dun's or Bradstreet's; there are directories or lists published for nearly every trade, pro- fessional occupation and often various classes to each. The second source is harder to approach. But many houses that advertise for inquiries or that have compiled special lists are willing to sell the lists after they themselves have worked them. When the character of the business is such that the same type of prospect would be a good type for your own business, such lists often can be used with profit. But in purchasing them, care should be taken to see that the names are of comparatively recent origin — if more than a year or two old, the percentage of incorrect addresses is liable to make them useless. Sometimes such lists are offered for sale by list brokers. Or you can pick out for yourself a suitable character of business houses and make direct buying offers to them. The price for such lists varies, according to size and character and sometimes according to the owner's whims, from $2 a thousand up as high, for small highly classified lists, as $20 or $30 a thousand. The third source — the lists offered for sale or rent by list brokers and addressing houses — represents the main source of supply for business propositions of more than local activity. Almost any sort of list in existence, and almost any quality of such lists desired, can be procured from these list brokers. 566 MATERIALS AND USES FOR LETTERS Their catalogs of lists are in themselves a source of inspiration for new uses of selling letters. In choosing lists from any of these sources, you should first analyze your field so as to understand just what sort of lists will cover it. For instance, if you are a real estate man handling home allotments, you should study the types of people to whom such homes or lots as you have to sell will appeal. If your property is in an outlying and unde- veloped suburb where the principal attraction is price, it is manifest that your analysis would tell you that lists of well-to- do citizens would not be suitable; that lists of workmen who must get quickly back and forth to work, would not be suitable; and that lists of those already owning homes would not do at all. Therefore, you would know that you could not efficiently use the telephone directory, or the directories of fashionable clubs, and so on. But lists of office employees would probably be a good choice and hsts of members of the more modest lodges or poorer churches might be well worth a test letter or two. You see the first job is to get your type of buyer well in mind, then look over sources of names for hsts which represent that type. The keeping of lists — ^that is, the physical system of keeping them — 'Whether you keep them on sheets, on cards, or addressing-machine stencils — must depend on the volume of your circularizing and the frequency with which you use your lists. Lists seldom used are probably more economically handled if left merely in sheets, but card lists are so much more easily handled and so much more conveniently checked as to results, that if you are to use a list more than two or three times a year it will pay to put it on cards — one address to each card. When a list is used with regularity, or when it is of a permanent nature— as hsts of customers, dealer lists, and so on— and when, of course, you do your addressing in your own office — ^an addressing machine operating with cut stencils 567 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE is eflficient. For even very small businesses, these machines have hand-operated types that are economical. But one mistake you must be sure to avoid! Do not destroy the identity of individual lists, by combining them into one general hst; that is, if you buy one list of prospects from one broker and another list from another broker, or compile two lists from different directories, don't mix the two, nor your own inquiry list with other lists. If you use an addressing machine, then give each of the individ- ual lists an individual tab, so that it can be readily distin- guished. The reason is that different types vary in effectiveness. They vary in the way they deteriorate with age. By keeping each list distinguished in some way, no matter how you ac- quire it, every letter or mailing card can be keyed with its list name, and you can always tell which lists pay best, or which lists are wearing out. And each list should be kept up to date. Every change of address should be noted, duplicates carefully weeded out, and every time a piece of mail is returned as undeliverable it should be looked up and, unless an error was made in addressing, the name should be killed. Nothing exasperates a customer quite so much as to get duplicate letters, or to have his letters persistently sent to a wrong address. Some large users of the mail find it pays to make a "clean- up" mailing once a year to every list by sending either a first-class letter which the post-office will return if undeliver- able, or by using third class, but printing a notice to post- masters to request return postage on undeliverable pieces. This shows up every dead name or changed address and keeps the list clean. Another scheme used by shrewd firms is to have a "dummy" name inserted in every list — a name which will bring the letter back to the manager, so he gets a sample of every circular mailed by his house just as his prospects are getting it. He can keep posted in this way on the quality of address- ing, fill-in, and printing. 568 MATERIALS AND USES FOR LETTERS SUMMARY AND that is the final suggestion I have to make to you. XjL You have been shown the details of how a letter's work can be sized up — by first deciding the complete "load" it has to carry, then by judging the type of construction neces- sary to enable it to carry that "load" properly. You have seen that no letter can carry its "load" properly unless the writer's idea is conveyed to the reader. Be- low my window as I write is the delivery wagon of a depart- ment store. In the wagon is a conglomeration of merchandise. The various items of merchandise constitute the wagon's "load." But you know and I know that that load would not be worth delivering if an idea were not conveyed with it. The driver of the wagon knows, the salesperson who took each order knows, th^t the delivery of that load of goods would be as nothing to the store if with it there were not conveyed to the customers of that store a Big Idea with each package — the idea of Service. And so with a letter. Each letter has a "load" — certain opinions of yours, or decisions, or requests, or explanations, or facts. But you wouldn't bother to write them if back of them there weren't an idea in your head that you want the receiver to feel. And it will do you no good to write them if you don't write them in such a way that they not only are read but convey your idea. So the "load" of any letter requires that an idea he incor- porated in its construction and I have told you how to convey an idea — by visualizing it definitely to yourself, then to pick the important features of it, then to arrange those features in the order most easily grasped by the reader. And then I continued to show you how to convey an imaginary or negative idea. Finally, I discussed with you ways of express- ing personality, exercising persuasion, writing the close, and building an artificial Attention-Stopper. In later chapters you were shown the real principles of let- terheads and enclosures and the principles of organizing your 569 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE work. Lastly in this chapter you were given a means of en- larging the uses for letters in your business, discovering mate- rial for them, and extending and keeping your mailing lists. That is all I can tell you about writing and using business letters. I have made it all as plain as I could. I believe if you will practise patiently on the principles laid down you will get better results from your own business letters than you got before. In the final problem section of this book you will find a brief review of the nine chapters on writing the letter. Follow this review through carefully. It will be of great value to you. 570 PROBLEM SECTION XI OUR experience so far in this book has been some- what like that of a specially picked understudy em- ployed by a big manufacturing plant to learn the business from the bottom up. He probably begins in the drafting room, works there for a couple of months, moves over to the estimating room, works there for a while, changes into the pattern shop, then the foundry, and so on. After several years of detailed, first-hand experience he knows the business, graduates from his apprenticeship, and is promoted to an executive position. Similarly, this is graduation time, or near it, for the readers of this book on applied business correspondence. In previous problem sections we spent our time on detailed jobs, always having the big work, the finished letter, in view, but never having the satisfaction of trying out at one time all that we knew. We learned how to handle that big thought, the "load" of a letter. We studied over the Big Idea, tried our hand at sincerity, tested Mr. Watson's ideas regarding closers and Attention-Stoppers, and progressed steadily to the time when we would write the complete letter. That time is at hand, and now as our review "quiz" we'll write a letter from start to finish and test all of the nine principles brought out by that novel chart we found in the first chapter. One point more before we launch on our newest adventure in letter writing: In this problem section we are to work out a sales letter. Now, if you are not a salesman, or if you do not write sales letters, you may feel that there should be also a definite application of Mr. Watson's ideas to a collection 571 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE letter, to a complaint letter, or to an adjustment letter. In a way the criticism is fair, but when one stops to think about it, every letter is a sales letter. The complaint letter sells satisfaction. The collection letter sells a desire to pay up. After all, from one way of looking at it, a straight sales letter is really the simplest form of business correspondence. Therefore, the principles which it discloses may be turned, with but slight change, to account by collection men, adjust- ment men, and others. So let's get to work and take for our problem a letter to bankers. We shall assume that we are the correspondent for a banker's supply company which supplies bankers with every- thing they need — -bronze tablets for the doors, change ma- chines, adding machines, and so on down to a paper of pins. Up to this time, let us say, we have been sending salesmen to meet the trade, but now the territory which can be conveni- ently handled from the home office has been covered. There are, however, hundreds of small banks in outlying districts to which it would not pay to send a salesman. These prospects we shall attempt to develop by mail. Our experi- ence with salesmen has been that repeat orders are the rule and that if we sell a banker one product we can sell him others. Consequently, we shall try to open the new market with one of our quick-selling leaders, a currency -mending tape which, salesmen tell us, all but sells on sight. The purpose of this letter is to sell, but immediate profit is not the only consideration. Keep particularly in mind the fact that we are going to sell to small banks, banks in which the reader of the letter is prob- ably cashier, purchasing agent, and teller, all rolled into one. For this reason we can use a direct appeal, through the Self- indulgence Motive, because the buyer will probably use the tape himself, whereas, if we were selling to a big bank we'd probably have to apply the Gain Motive, for in a big bank the buyer would probably not use the tape himself but would be influenced by arguments showing how the tape saves time and money and in other ways reflect his ability as a buyer. 572 MATERIALS AND USES FOR LETTERS We offer this tape because we have found that bankers and others have considerable difficulty in mending the torn currency, torn checks, and torn documents, which they receive day after day. We have investigated the market and found that a tough, cheap, gummed tissue paper mender is hard to get. Much of that which is on the market is reported as too narrow, curls when the mucilage is wetted, or is so thick that printed or written words cannot be read through it. We know that our product not only has none of these faults, but also that it is cheaper than others and that it will be a big seller if prop- erly presented. Therefore, putting ourselves in the expert letter writer's place, we'll try to write the sort of letter that would cost us a fat fee if we turned the job over to an outsider. Probably if we work carefully we'll qualify to save the fee and at the same time make sure that this book on applied business corre- spondence will much more than pay for itself. First of all, let us have a look at the chart which is to be found on page 32. (The best way to use the chart, by the way, is to paste it on cardboard or slip it under the glass top of your desk so that reference to it will be easy when- ever you have a letter to write.) The first question we should ask ourselves is : What Is the Complete "Load" My Letter Must Carry? Exactly what Mr. Watson meant by the "load" of a letter I found a httle baffling at first. Perhaps you had the same difficulty. Therefore, before we determine the "load" our letter to bankers is to carry, let us decide on a definition of Mr. Watson's phrase. The "load" of a letter is what the writer himself thinks about his product, and what the writer must tell his reader in order that the reader will understand the offer and agree with the writer. In brief, the "load" of the letter is the writer's point of view. 573 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE With that definition in mind it is plain, isn't it, that the "load" of a letter doesn't appear only in the first paragraph, but may — and generally does ^appear all through the letter. You may have missed this point and assumed that the first question of the chart dealt with the first paragraph of the letter. Not at all. The "load," being the writer's point of view, is scattered all through it. Now then, to decide upon the "load" of our letter to bank- ers. We look over a sample box of mending tape. I have provided a picture of it on the opposite page. If you were to examine it carefully as you should, before writing a selling letter, you would find that the tape is rolled into a neat reel and packed in a pine box with a sliding top. The box has a slot cut in it at the top so that the tape can be drawn out in the length needed and the edge of the slot is sharp so that the tape can be torn easily and evenly. When we inspect the tape we find that it is wider than others on the market. When we consider the price we find that it is one- third the price our nearest competitor asks. When we paste a strip of the tape on a torn check we find that the tape not only holds well, but that we can read through it perfectly. "Enough! Wait a minute," I hear you say, and, ask: "Aren't you giving us the 'features' of the Big Idea.?" No, indeed, I am simply taking notes on the various selling joints — "pointers," let's call them — ^of our proposition, so that we can more easily determine the "load" of our letter Of course, it is not necessary to go to such detail for every letter, but this time we want to make the point very clear. As for "features" and the Big Idea, we'll consider them in just a minute. And then we will notice how the "pointers" of the "load," when examined from another point of view, lead us to the "features" of the Big Idea. Now the letter we are writing is a sales letter, pure and simple, but if you will reflect a moment you will, I am sure, agree that the facts brought out in our review of the "load" of a letter apply equally well to any kind of letter. If we 574 MATERIALS AND USES FOR LETTERS were writing a collection letter, for instance, the "load" of the letter might be: "You have held up payment too long and you're heading for trouble." The "pointers" you'd dig up from previous correspondence and other sources would lead you to that conclusion. Panel 250 In short, I repeat, the "load" of the letter is the writer's point of view throughout. With that conclusion in mind, we may write on the chart the "load" of our banker's letter as: " To make our prospects understand that we have a better, cheaper, handier mending tape." That "load," of course, could be expressed in scores of other ways. The wording of it on the chart is of little conse- quence. It's just a memorandum. It doesn't make a bit of diflFerence, does it, if your wife ties a red string or ties a blue string around your finger to make sure that you think of an errand.'* And it doesn't make a bit of difference how you write the "load" of the letter on the chart if you recog- nize the fact that it's your point of view or the point of view of the house behind you. And that brings up another point, which you may think I am disregarding. 575 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE In previous chapters Mr. Watson hammered continually on the "you and I" element. Remember how he pointed out and cleverly disposed of that "you" fallacy? We agreed then that every really good letter should be written with the reader's point of view in mind. "Visuahze your prospect" was suggested over and over again. In this review section, are we going to disregard Mr. Watson's splendid advice.? Decidedly not. But a salesman, whether he writes a good sales letter, a good collection letter, or any other kind of let- ter (any business letter, remember, is in eflFect a sales letter) has first to sell himself. That's true, isn't it.?* In other words, before we can sell a currency mender to anyone else we've got to sell it to ourselves, haven't we? We've got to know our product up and down, backward and forward, be- Ueve in it, be ready to fight for it, feel positive, sure, certain, that it can't be beaten. And wouldn't considering the pros- pect while selling ourselves distract us from the job on hand? It's obvious that it would. And so, in fixing on the "load" of any letter, consider your- self first and then consider your prospect. Don't try to do both jobs at once. For you to get the prospect's point of view is of the very greatest importance, but not of any greater importance than to establish a definite point of view for yourself. If you are in doubt, if you are undecided, your prospect will feel it, no matter how hard you try to cover up your failing. How many times have you heard people tell a story in a way that made you say to yourself, "Why, he doesn't believe that himself." In short, to sell a man, first sell yourself. That is the pur- pose of deciding the "load" of a letter clearly. That's a fascinating subject, but we must go on. Having sold ourselves, having written down our conclu- sions as to the "load" of our letter, henceforth we'll turn all our attention to the prospect and, if we can — and we can— make him feel as we do, and make him do what we want him 576 MATERIALS AND USES FOR LETTERS to do. And, therefore, back we go to the chart and to the second question on it: Will the One to Whom I am Writing Feel a Self-interest When He Sees a Letter from Me? We don't have to reflect long to say "no" to that question. Ours is to be a circular letter to strangers. They'll not be interested in us offhand. But they will be interested in some device that will lessen their work. Our investigations have proved to us and to bankers who have tried our product that our mender will make easier a petty, disagreeable, but neces- sary job. And with this conclusion we practically answer the chart's second question. We realise that our prospects are not interested in us personally, but, on the other hand, what man or woman isn't glad to make routine work easier? Not one? All right. Then in answer to the question: In What Is the Reader Interested that I May Gear Up My Proposition in Order to Get His Attention? We can answer: "Ways of lightening the routine work of his cage." And here we get our first hint that some atten- tion-winning device will probably be necessary. However, that is another point to take up later. That second question was easy, but now we come to the third, and, in some respects, the most important question on the whole chart. What Is the Feeling or the Big Idea I Want the Reader to Get? You may not have grasped at once the difference between the Big Idea and the "load" of a letter. Well, the differ- ence is hard to understand at first, but difficulties will dis- appear, I think, if we keep the following definition in mind. The Big Idea of any letter is what the writer wants his reader to feel or think when he reads the letter. See how that ties up with the "you and I" principle. The "load" of your letter is what you think about your 577 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE prospectus. The Big Idea is what you want your reader to think about it. Simple, isn't it.? Let's see how it works out. In a selHng letter the Big Idea requires the reader to feel a need for your product; in a collection letter, he should feel that he must pay up. When you answer a complaint you want him to feel that you are a good fellow, that the mistake could not be helped and that you are glad to accept an opportunity to make good. It's all so simple and obvious that you may wonder that you didn't get the idea before. Now that we have the definition of Big Idea clearly in mind, let's apply the principle in our letter to bankers. Let's see. What do. we want the banker to feel as he reads the letter.? Why, that our tape is so good that he must have some. And how shall we try to make him feel that.? Why, by considering the facts that sold us and by presenting them so that they will appeal to his point of view. If we do that, we'll naturally hit upon a Big Idea something like this : "This tape will do away with the present nuisance of mending currency and documents and make a disagreeable job quick, simple, and easy." Of course, making the prospect get this Big Idea isn't simple or easy, but requires careful work along the lines laid down by Mr. Watson in the second chapter. Perhaps, before picking "features," it will be well to consider other questions on the chart. We realize that the flat, abstract statements by which we sold ourselves won't do. Our prospect probably will not believe them, for he doesn't know us or our product. In short, we are at once crowded to the fourth question of the chart, namely: Will the Reader Be Indifferent or Opposed to Considering My Idea — or Will He Be Open-Minded? We have just answered that question in our minds. Our prospect has so many unsupported claims brought to his atteution by mail, and otherwise, every day, that he is almost 678 MATERIALS AND USES FOR LETTERS sure to discount ours. Therefore, as a reminder, we'll write across the chart- in answer to the fourth question: "Probably indifferent, as he does not know us or our proposi- tion." Now we can go back to our Big Idea, and, with our analysis well in mind, we can proceed to pick "features" in the way Mr. Watson outlined in the second chapter, so that the Big Idea will get across to the reader and he will take the action we want him to take. What are "features"? "Features" are facts about a prop- osition that will make the prospect feel as you do about it. How does one discover "features".? Just as Mr. Watson suggested by means of the Washington Irving quotation and the Delta Land Company letter. For our letter, we must review what we know of bankers and then make careful analysis of our product. "All right," you say, "Go ahead and analyze — ^let's see you do it. Your proposition is a new one to me. About all I know of bankers has been gathered from letters telling me my note is due or that my account is overdrawn, or something of the sort." "There's nothing to it," I answer. "There's no mystery, about this. It's simple. It's easy." You don't have to be brother to a banker to get his point of view. Just picture yourself in his position and you'll have the key to the selling problem. Picking "features" is rnerely an appeal to human nature. Don't you remember how interestingly Mr. Watson made that plain in the second chapter.? And in our letter to bankers what would appeal to us would probably appeal to our prospect. "Analyzing" and "picking features" sound formidable. The words call up images of hard, bone-racking work. But please don't think that that's the right idea. Merely bear in mind, when you write a sales letter, or any other kind of letter, that picking "features" means putting yourself, as nearly as you can, in the reader's place and thinking of what 579 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE would appeal to you in the circumstances. Why, it's as easy as getting wet when you fall into water. When you stop to think of it, you pick "features" every day in your life, only, perhaps, you don't call your work that. Some people call it "putting your best foot foremost." And what is "putting your best foot foremost?" When you stop to think about it, isn't it merely sizing up your man or your proposition and putting yourself or your ideas in their best Ught? And isn't the "best hght" nine times out of ten the prospect's hght? In letter writing one can hardly do less. The important part of the task, however, is to make a note of your mental steps — then you'll be sure to include them all. Now let's try our hand at picking "features" for our letter. To begin: A teller's cage and counter are pretty well packed with files, money, change machines, credit memoranda, debit memoranda, drafts, checks, and so on. The teller has to be neat, orderly, methodical. What is easier, then, than to point out that our box reflects these conditions. And once you do that there are your "features" right at your finger tips. Like this: The box is neat, small, clean and easy to handle. The tape doesnt curl when wet. The special glue we use sticks like a nail to a magnet. The tissue is strong, but so transparent that the finest print beneath it can be read. It's one-third the price of any other brand. Now wouldn't those "features" make your man think what you want him to think, especially if you had learned that the present brands on the market were unsatisfactory because they lacked the good points that made your product satisfac- tory? It's safe to say that they would Let us assume that they would, however, and leave the subject, for we still have much to do before we may set pen to paper and make a rough draft of our letter. When we settled on our Big Idea, we took a look ahead and, you will remember, decided that our reader would be indiffer- 580 MATERIALS AND USES FOR LETTERS ent to our proposition. Consequently we have to overcome that difference. We can hardly find a better way of accom- pHshing our purpose than by following the methods outlined by Mr. Watson in the third chapter. That was the chapter which took up the matter of visionary or negative approach which you may have found a little difficult. Let's clear up any misunderstanding first of all. To boil that chapter down to a sentence we can say: "If a man is indifferent or opposed to your proposition show him the dis- advantages of continuing in his present frame of mind." Nothing hard about that thought, is there.? Remember how IngersoU showed the delegates to the convention the disadvantages of not nominating Blaine? And no doubt you will recall the disadvantages portrayed in the Home Laundry letter and others mentioned in the third chapter. That's all there is to overcoming indifference — show the reader the disad- vantages of not doing what you want him to do. But how are we to do it? In one of two ways. We may either build up a picture of the disadvantages to the reader as IngersoU did — or we may state the disadvantages and let the reader build up his own picture. Now that may be done in a number of ways. Some of them Mr. Watson suggested in the third chapter. His diagram, however, may lead you to believe that the disadvantages of the reader's position should be grouped at the start of the letter and then by means of a connecting link the reader should be hooked up to the advantage of doing what you desired. Although this is a very good way of overcoming opposition, and despite the fact that many writers and speakers use it to good effect, we should not assume that it is the only way of accomplishing our purpose. No cut and dried rule can be set down. If your purpose is better served by putting advantages first, or by scattering advantages among the paragraphs following a recital of dis- advantages, try your way. Test your way. The big, interest- ing, helpful point — that of showing the prospect the disad- 581 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE ■vantages of his present position — will, however, always be a powerful factor in making a prospect change to your way of thinking. But let's go back to the banker's letter. We have to make that letter short and snappy (it's for a business man who hasn't time, we assume, to read a long letter on a simple proposi- tion), and so we'll count on a quick approach. We'll just flash a few disadvantages to the reader who does not use our tape, and let it go at that. Let's make a note of those disadvantages right now, while we are on the subject, so that we shall not forget them when we write the letter. Here they are: Papers mended with thick tissue cause eye strain. Competitors' varieties come in small rolls about an inch in diameter. They get lost easily. They dry up quickly. They soil. They crumple. Other brands curl and shrivel when drying and hence it is a nuisance to handle them. And now we are ready to consider arranging "features" so as to make our meaning clear. That brings us to Section 5 on the chart which asks this question: Is the Reader Familiar with the Subject of My Idea or in Sympathy with the Nature of My Feelings? In other words, must we take pains to make our meaning clear.'* For this letter I'd say "no" and I'm sure you'll agree with me. Ours is a simple proposition. It is easily understood. We won't have to work hard over the arrangement of our "features." Our readers will not have difficulty in under- standing any of them. I have this thought also to offer in regard to presenting "features." In the fourth chapter, as you will recollect, Mr. Watson suggested that the "features" easiest to understand should be presented first and that others should follow, resting on each other like dishes on a platter. Now some people may 582 MATERIALS AND USES FOR LETTERS think that the most important "feature" should always go first. No indeed. A "feature" easy to understand is the "platter"; another "feature" easy to understand goes on top of it, and so on. In other words, why not say that in a letter the "features" should be arranged like a flight of steps.!* The prospect in reading mounts the first step, a "feature" easiest to understand, then the second, a "feature" a little more dif- ficult, until he reaches the top of the stairs and has the Big Idea of the letter." With this thought in mind, it's quite easy, I think, to get Mr. Watson's idea. "Features" should be placed in logical sequence. One should not ask a reader to leap to the third step, drop down to the first, jump up to the fifth. It's hardly necessary to mention, in passing, the impor- tance of keeping in mind that we want to use a banker's style of vocabulary as much as possible. We must know the sort of words he uses. We should use his names for common things. When it comes to making a reader believe our statements we reach another section of the chart, which asks: To Make Him Believe, Do I Have to Change Some Accepted Opinion or Disappoint Some Expectation? For our letter, we can safely answer "yes." Although our article is a good one, one really needed and useful, the reader may be satisfied with his substitute and not willing to make a change. Hence, we make a note of our decision by writing on the chart: Yes, he probably believes that his present mender is good enough. That leads us immediately to considering what appeal we shall make to succeed. Shall we appeal to his reason, caution, or business sense, or to his taste, fancy, convenience, or the personal side.'' Let us answer from what we have already decided that the appeal is to be made to his convenience and that we'll make buying a personal matter to him. We then cross out the left- band square at the top of the chart. 583 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE Now we have to select the motive which will appeal to our reader. Before we turn all our attention to motives, consider whether our reader will believe us. As Mr. Watson pointed out, we must make our reader feel the truth and sincerity of our statements, and thereby make it easier for him to accept them. How shall we do that.'' Why, by doing what Mr. Watson suggested in the fourth chapter, finding some mutual interest. If our letter were to be a personal letter to a friend or to a person we knew, then we could use our friendship, recall old memories, and so on. But this is a circular letter and personalities, even if we knew them, would be out of place. However, there is one ground sure to be safe. We can join our knowledge of banking with that of our reader. We can show him that we are aware of the annoyance and bother he undergoes. Do .you notice that the principles Mr. Watson laid down are really simple when you go about using them.'' Many people throw up their hands at the talk of meeting prospects on common ground and yet, when you think of it, it can always be done. The collection man can base his letter on a tight money market, thus opening a way to the use of a fair play motive. The complaint letter may dwell on the difficulty of maintaining routine, and the reader out of his experience will generally acknowledge that the best discipline will fail at times. Appeals of that sort can be made in letters in which personal appeals cannot be used. Finding a mutual interest leads us directly to motives, for the two are close allies. In our banker's letter what motive shall we select? Which one will make the best appeal to his convenience? We look over the list of motives Mr. Watson supplied on page 306. Shall we choose Love? Certainly not. Duty? No. Self -Preservation? Hardly. The Gain Motive makes us pause, but we recollect that the Big Idea of our letter is based on convenience and so we pass on. The Self-indulgence Motive opens the doors. It can be turned to account by an appeal to the reader's love of ease 584 MATERIALS AND USES FOR LETTERS and comfort. The Pride Motive might stir him faintly, but probably not enough to accomplish any perceptible result in this letter. In short, we find but one motive, Self-indulgence, directly available. Perhaps you may ask: "How many motives may properly be used in a letter? Shall we use them all if we can, or shall we use one and work it for all it's worth?" I believe that we can well take either course, depending •upon our propositions. If we feel that a long letter is needed, and particularly if tests show that long letters are read by our prospects, then we may wisely make use of several or all of the motives, provided we can do so gracefully. On the other •hand, one motive hammered home in quick, hard strokes will do the work most satisfactory at times. There are so many conditions to be considered in this regard that a positive rule is more than ordinarily difficult to lay down. For instance, in writing, consider whether a letter is one of a series — if it is, it may be well to use one motive in the first letter and another motive in a second letter, and so on. Our present proposition, however, is one that sells so cheaply that we can't afford to send out a series on it. One letter has to do the work if we are to break even. Hence, we'll stick to the Self-indulgence Motive and forget the others for the time being. Before we turn from the chart of motives on page 306, however, let us fix this fact in mind : that chart is merely sug- gestive. It carries so many ideas that a whole book might be written on its use. As letter writers, our duty is to study the chart in the light of the suggestions it gives us and to let our im- agination work on it. Although there are many "lif table" letters scattered through this book, and althbugh there are many ideas that can" be copied and turned to use without the expenditure of time and effort upon them, still most of the material which has been supplied is suggestive. The book was written to help you "cook up" ideas and not to supply them "precooked" and 585 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE "predigested," so to speak. And surely that's the way you'd prefer. Now for the last two steps in the preparation of our letter. So far we have not written a line. We are still thinking the letter, and not until we have it all thought out shall we touch pen to paper or ring for the stenographer. And this is the method Mr. Watson follows with every important letter he writes. It is the way the correspondents of the A. W. Shaw Company prepare to write. And a dozen other successful men who follow this same plan could be named. Of course, their thinking is rapid. They don't openly pause to analyze the reason for each step as we have done. Long practise with the principles behind the chart enables them, as it will enable you, to make short cuts. But they do not omit a single step of the chart. Familiarity with it and the train of thought it arouses has merely made it unneces- sary for them to write down each step, as I have done. On the other hand, if in beginning the use of the chart you write down the "load," the Big Idea and its "features," and so on, you will quickly train your mind to an accurate method of thinking the letter. But we must go on and consider the question of a close for our letter. We have seen in the seventh chapter that a a good close should connect the motive, or motives, to the action desired by some "little preliminary job" which makes a "connecting path" to action. Now we may safely assume that at this point we shall have our reader interested. We shall have started him thinking. We shall, therefore, have started a mental action which seeks physical expression. Does this seem far-fetched.'' Perhaps you think, that this preliminary job idea of Mr. Watson's is a Kttle hard to grasp, but tests of the idea have proved it sound over and over again. •It goes back to the simple principle that when a man thinks, he almost always balances his mental effort with a physical reaction. He drums on the desk, swings his legs, or taps his teeth with a pencil — the phenomena is common enough. Well, we, as good salesmen, shall take advantage of this and instead 586 MATERIALS AND USES FOR LETTERS of letting our prospect make aimless movements, will direct his energy our way. We'll do even more. Since we know that he has an impulse to act we'll make it easy for him; we'll crystallize his thought and tell him to act our way! In studying the currency mender, I found a means for achieving this end. To get a real knowledge of the product, I spent a few hours with a city salesman who was selling a similar article to bankers. I heard him make half a dozen sales and mentally noted the "load," the Big Idea, and the "features" of his talk. When we were ready to leave he sug- gested, "Let's visit one more bank and you try to make a sale." Well, I stood up to the next banker we met and gave a glowing description of the mender and actually did sell a box. When I left the bank and asked for criticisms, the salesman, who was a friend, and therefore candid, said: "You did pretty well, but why didn't you hand him the box when he reached for it. Watch your man. If he is in- terested he'll reach for the box and try its good points for himself. Don't you show him." And then I remembered that as I explained the virtues of the article I had not gone far before the prospect reached for it. But I did not hand it to him. I went right on and showed him how it worked instead of letting him do the work. Do you see? That bank teller wanted some easy prelim- inary job. He wanted to express with his hands the inter- est he felt. And so with the letter we are writing, and, as far as that goes, with any letter written to secure action. Give your prospect, if possible, something to do. In this case we can't hand him the box of tape but we can do the next thing to it — hand him a sample to test. Let's jot that point down on our pad and also remind ourselves to include an order card as the "easy connecting path" to the final action we desire. Then we may prepare for the final step, a means of gripping attention. Must we grip attention by some mechanical means in this letter? I'd say "yes"; wouldn't you? For it's to be a cir- 587 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE cular letter and business men today are flooded with them. Very well, then. What can we do to call attention to our product? How can we write a Stopper that will lead natur- ally to the Big Idea.? First of all let's recall what Mr. Watson said about Atten- tion Stoppers. A man in a pink hat would attract attention, but probably that's all. Attention-winning must be done right if at all. It's a delicate proposition. Therefore, we shall remember to avoid the style of the patent medicine advertisement which starts off with the hne, "Saved from Death," and which, in the next breath, tries to prove the efficacy of Old Doc Killem's pills. From what Mr. Watson has told us, we know the danger of that kind of Attention-Stopper and so our job is to prepare one that will be a part of the letter — one that will lead logically to the Big Idea. Does that seem difficult? Let's study our proposition and see. We know that the tape is transparent and is a fine material for mending, documents. We can easily prove it. All right, let's prove it to our reader by sending him a letter torn and mended by the tape we have to sell. A torn letter certainly will be something out of the ordi- nary and will get attention. Then we'll write a first para- graph that will hook the Attention-Getter to the Big Idea, then work up to the order card. At last we are ready to write. Everything we wish to say has been thought out and written down on the chart reproduced on the following page. Writing the letter is now comparatively easy. And in this connection let me point out how our system does away with that old bugaboo, "What shall I write?" The man who says that, when he has a letter to write, generally hasn't thought his letter. When we know what we want to say, when we have an idea to convey, when we, as the saying goes, are bursting on account of a desire to talk, then writing is a "copper-riveted cinch." Hence, because of the careful preparation we have made, a letter selling a currency mender 588 MATERIALS AND USES FOR LETTERS ~)^' J^ Does My Idea uqeal to His Reason. Caution of Bu^ess Sense? Or Does It Appeal to His Taste, Fancy. Convenience or Personal Side? To Make Him Bellave, Do I Have To Chango Some Accepted Opioion or Disappoint Some Expectation ■"^^^^tSr' -^ \lltj Ig/' ^ La/ Wlu/AThi llomplete -loaiT Mv Lettoi Mult CatrjT J^y-Kk^ Panel 251 589 BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE now practically writes itself. You will find it on the next page. As you read it, note the echo from the letters reproduced in previous chapters. I've dipped into them liberally for ideas. Now, if we pause to consider that letter for a moment, what do we find.'' First of all that the thoughts brought out by the chart are scattered through the letter every which way. That will generally be true of letters written according to our chart. The mere fact, for instance, that the "load" of the letter is first considered and written down on the chart is no sign that the "load" as written has to be incorporated at the start of the letter or in so many words. The ''load," re- member, is what you think about your product. It is merely a memorandum of your point of view. It is never copied from the chart into the letter, but rather appears "between the lines." However, the "pointers" of the "load" are sometimes actually to be found in the letter. Now as to the Big Idea as it appears on the chart. Perhaps you expected to see it actually written in the letter. But the Big Idea, just like the "'load," is an intangible some- thing in the letter. It's a memorandum of what you want the reader to feel when he reads the letter, and therefore it, too, is generally to be found "between the lines." The "features," of course, are more tangibly available. You'll generally find them in the letter. Read them in our letter to bankers. Notice, however, that although we put a "feature" easy to grasp near the start of the letter, it was not the most important of the lot. In fact, it was an unimportant one — one easy to understand. The disadvantages of the reader's present condition are plainly to be read in the letter. Also, notice the quick change to the positive advantages of following the proposed action. The Self-indulgence Motive and "fuel" for it are also to be found running through the letter. As for the Attention- Stopper and the closer with its easy connecting path, no one can miss them. Of course, the letter does not eveu pretend to be the last word on the subject. It was not written as a finished, polished, 5:);) MATERIALS AND USES FOR LETTERS BANKERS SURPLy Cjl CMcago Dear Sir; Mailing a torn and mended lettei/ may /seem to/be a peculiar thing to do, but I did it purposely. In tack, I,/tore this letter after it was written, mended it, and then mailed it ^ust jo shorn po'a a way In whioh I can make your work easier. How many times have you strained y6ur eya6 trying to read througji the thick tissue used to mend torn currency, cheolcs, acceptances, and other paper? How many times have you seafrched/ throu^ the drawers of your cage for a piece of tape with which to menu paper/only to find a dried up, wrinkled little roll tucked away in some corner^ Aiid then, when you tried to uSe It, it curled — shrlreled ay It was arylng — In short, it made you wish that gomedne, anyone, would /provide a tape that would do the work it was Intended to do. Here, then, is what yod ii3.