ar V 13384- 1 L HOW TO WRITE LETTERS THAT WIN 247 VITAL POINTERS GATHERED FROMASTDinr OF 1200 ACTIIM, lEITERS '3Z, CORNELL UNIVERSITY LIBRARY FROM The Publishers Cornell University Library olin,anx Cornell University Library The original of tliis bool< is in tine Cornell University Library. There are no known copyright restrictions in the United States on the use of the text. http://www.archive.org/details/cu31924031228046 HOW TO WRITE LETTERS THAT WIN HOW TO BUILD BUSINESS LETTEKS THAT COMMAND ATTENTION, STIR DE- SIRE, BRING ORDERS — HOW TO PUT THE PERSONAL TOUCH INTO A LETTER— HAND- LING INQUIRIES, COMPLAINTS AND COL- LECTIONS—ACTUAL LETTERS THAT HAVE BROUGHT RESULTS 247 VITAL POINTERS GATHERED FROM A STUDY OF 1200 ACTUAL LETTERS Third Edition THE^YSTEM COMPANY cSlCAGO NEW YORK A. W. SHAW COMPANY, LTD., LONDON 1909 ^ A.gL^\§^\ (q Wm^k'^^M^-WM^ How TO Increase Youk Sales How TO Double the Day's Work How TO Reduce Factory Costs How TO Increase the S at.ks of the Store How TO Increase a Bank's Deposits ( How TO Sell Real Estate at a Profit -' How TO Sell More Fire Insurance How TO Sell More Life Insurance How TO Write Letters that Win Others in Preparation Copyright, 1909, By THE SYSTEM COMPANY CONTENTS pa:rt I WHAT YOU CAN MAKE YOTJE LET TEES DO Mead the Rules Chapter Pagb I. The Part the Letter Plays in Business 6 II. What a Letter Must Do — Its Elements and Con- tents 10 III. The Make-up of a Business Letter 19 PABT 11 ELEMENTS OF THE BUSINESS LETTER The Single Aim IV. How TO Start a Letter — Attention 28 V. How TO Arouse Interest 36 VI. How TO Hold Interest — Explanation 42 VII. How TO Create Desire — Argument and PROor 49 VIII. Persuasion 57 IX. Inducement 65 X. Summary and Climax — The Clincher 73 PAST in HOW TO MAKE A LETTER TALK The Man to Man Message XI. News Value 84 XII. Personality- ' 90 XIII. The "Tou" Element vS 99 4 CONTENTS FABT ir HANDLING COLLECTIONS AND COMPLAINTS Sell Satisfaction Chapter rAGB XIV. Collecting by Letter 108 XV. How TO ANSwiai Complaints 119 EXHIBIT OF ACTUAL LETTERS EEPEODUCED Figure Page I. A well-balanced sales letter 13 II. An average sales letter, showing typical faults 16 III. The same letter rewritten and corrected 17 IV. An example of bad margins and type arrangement. . . 22 V. An example of correct margins and type arrangement 23 VI. A good letter, showing how attention may be won. . . 31 VII. A letter that holds interest 39 VIII. A letter correctly using argument and proof. ...'".... 53 IX. A poor letter, showing too brief reply to an inquiry. . 62 X. A reply to an inquiry, showing how interest may be further stimulated 63 XI. A letter cleverly embodying inducement 67 XII. A follow-up that brought results 69 XIII. A f oUow-up showing typical faults 76 XrV. The same, rewritten and corrected 77 XV. A good letter, leading' the reader from mutual ground to the buying point 79 XVI. A poor letter, lacking personality and specific appeal. 94 XVII. The same proposition put in real man to man talk. . . 95 XVTII. A sales letter in which the seller 's interest crowds out the "you" element 102 XIX. The same letter rewritten from the buyer's viewpoint. 103 XX. A good commercial collection letter Ill XXI. A complaint and an untactful reply 124 XXII. A reply in which tact is shown 125 Part I WHAT YOU CAN MAKE YOUR LETTERS DO Read the Rules Two kinds of letters cross every desk. One — paper, ink and formality — goes the way of the waste basket. The other — logical, human appeal — draws the eye, grips, sways, convmces. One is the product of careless routine; the other of conscious creation. A strong letter springs from a mind's eye model, like the architect's drawing, the builder's bridge. Make your letters magnetic — make them stand out — make them dominate each reader's morning mail. You can do it — if you will master the principles, read the rules, put yourself into the work. CHAPTER I The Part the Letter Plays in Business WHAT is the most important factor in the transac- tion of your business? What medium plays the greatest part in selling your goods, collecting j'our ac- counts, keeping you in touch with the other elements — concerns and individuals — that make your business pos- sible? Run your mind up and down the essentials in your every day work and lay your mental finger upon the one most indispensable. You can 't miss it. It 's the business letter. The first claim on your attention each morning after you have hung up your hat and drawn chair to your desk is the morning's mail. You run through it and you are back again in the hum of things. It has put you in touch with the run of your own affairs, just as your morning paper has laid before you a mental picture of what the world did yesterday. ^^ Now you take your turn and you dispose of each of those letters as the purposes and policy of your business dictate. Through the medium of your replies and your own letters to others you buy and sell, you give direc- tions, counsel and advice, you cover a thousand subjects — • THE PAET LETTERS PLAY 7 you play the whole game of business over your own desk. And all through the medium of the business letter. IF THERE has been one development in the last gen- eration that has contributed more than any other to business growth it has been the development of the business letter. Letters — right letters — are no longer the mere stereotyped paper mediums of solicitation and acknowledgment. They are living, breathing personali- ties, with all the capabilities and characteristics of the men behind them. Forty years ago the only letters that showed symptoms of red-blooded authorship were impassioned love missives and the opinionated chronicles of statesmanship. Then someone, somewhere, conceived the idea that human in- terest could be woven into a business letter as well as into a personal message, that a business letter, after all, was but a personal message and that it was possible to talk to a man a thousand miles away in the same words that you would use if he sat beside your desk. That discovery, developed, has of itself dissolved dis- tance and placed the inter-relationship of business men upon a basis of courtesy and intimacy that no other could accomplish. And more important, it has made possible the transaction of an enormous bulk of business at an insignificant fraction of what personal handling of it would have cost. Fifty-five million dollars in sales made by one house last year entirely by mail — that is a specific example of results. As the possibilities of the business letter have been realized, it has leaped all the restricted boundaries of former usage. Today the letter — the right letter, re- member — does whatever the personal representative can do. It sells goods, collects money, adjusts complaints. 8 POSSIBILITIES OF THE LETTER carries on the routine of business with all the efiBciency of the individual behind it. USED rightly, it is, in many respects a better medium thari" a personal representative. Certainly it has all the advantage on cost. A sales letter entails no heavy traveling expenses, hotel bills and entertainment charges ; a red stamp carries it the length of the land. Neither does it cool its heels in the outer office and conjure methods to reach the diief within; the courtesy of the mail lays it upon his desk. It follows up persistently when repeated personal calls would be impossible. It is a salesman that says no more and no less than the mer- chant or manufacturer desires. It makes no false repre- sentations, no verbal promises that cannot be lived up to. It is the perfect servant of the user. But, you may say to all this, that you do not do busi- ness by mail. True, you may not conduct a mail order business. But you do have use for correspondence. You may sell your goods entirely through salesmen, yet there never was a sales force so good that it could not get more business with the help of letters from the house. Correspondence as you use it may serve the simplest needs of routine — ^the acknowledgment of orders, the notification of shipments — ^yet there is never a letter goes out iQ .your mail that does not have possibilities of a business getting touch. If you stop with the acknowledg- ment or the notification, you miss an opportunity. Go beyond and talk to the man. Look at your letter through his eyes, shift yourself over into his attitude, consider what you would do if you got that letter. Do that a few times and you will soon be wondering why you didn't rub the machine finish off your correspondence long ago, take the man-to-man attitude and talk business THE PAET LETTERS PLAY 9 through the mail. There's a place for real letters in every business and yours is one of them. OR YOU say that you have tried the sales letter and it has failed. Do not indict the letter for its failure. Its possibilities are there. Indict yourself rather along with the hundreds of thousands of other business men who have neglected to make the most of a medium that waits to do service at a minimum of cost. The business letter is the biggest opportunity for ex- pansion that you have today. Employed intelligently, it will find you customers, it will sell your goods, or help your salesman sell them, it will make your name known wherever mail service penetrates. But the business winning letter must be the product of the most analytical thought. If it is to serve as a salesman it must be created with all the care that you would train a salesman before you would permit him to sell your goods. If your argument is to convince it must bfe planned logically, if your description is to paint a mental picture it must be clear, if your appeal for action is to get results it must be a real appeal with real inducement. You must know your reader 's point of contact and aim your letters there. Study your sales letters. Study every letter that goes out over your name. Does it play the part it should in your business 1 Give it a chance. The subsequent chap- ters of this book tell you how. PERSONALITY is what marks one man among the thousands — what marks the letter we remember among the hundreds it is no effort to forget. CHAPTER II What a Letter Must Do — Its Elements and Contents THERE are certain basic principles upon which every successful business letter must be built, certain in- variable elements which it must contain. If it is to take the place of a salesman and do what a good salesman would do, it must follow a line of procedure in making a written sale just as a salesman does in making a verbal one. It must win for itself an audience with the man it is to sell, and once that is gained it must follow the steps of the sale exactly as the salesman does when he talks face to face with his prospect, leading him gradually, tact- fully through certain definite processes up to the actual signing of the order. For this reason every sentence and paragraph that goes into one of your letters should have a reason for being there. The sole aim of a letter is to get action and non-essentials simply detract from its directness. You have no time to write them nor has your prospect to read them. It is the easiest thing in the world to write a letter that goes rambling from one topic to another without ELEMENTS AND CONTENTS 11 getting anywhere in particular. But the good letter writer has a definite end in mind and he goes straight to it over a definite route. Go about it to write a letter as you would to prepare an important speech. There are a thousand things you might say, but only ten are vital. Think of as many as you can to begin with, then sift them to the few. Con- fine yourself to those points and drive them home, know- ing the effect that each should have and its relation to the end you want to reach. CONSIDER now the good sales letter. It must pro- ceed through certain steps. It must be based logic- ally upon the principles of salesmanship. It must con- tain: 1. The opening, which wins the reader's attention and prompts him to go farther into the letter. 2. Description and explanation, which gain his in- terest by picturing the proposition in his mind. 3. Argument or proof, which creates desire for the article you have to sell by showing its value and ad- vantages. 4. Persuasion, which draws the reader to your way of thinking by showing the adaptation of the article to his needs and his need of it now. 5. Inducement, which gives him a particular or extra reason for buying. 6. The climax or clincher, which makes it easy for the reader to order and prompts him to act at once. These elements may be taken, in fact, not only as the basis of the successful sales letter but of every good business letter. For a collection letter is only a form of salesmanship on paper— you are selling your man a 12 POSSIBILITIES OP THE LETTER settlement of his account. And a reply to a complaint is but another — ^you are selling your man satisfaction. Over the whole field of correspondence the same principle applies. Of course the elements may not always appear in the exact order indicated, nor always in the same proportion, but they are there — they must be there if the letter is to carry the right impression to the reader 's mind. A col- lection letter may consist largely of persuasion with a striking climax. The reply to a complaint letter may be principally explanation. The sales letter, naturally, fol- lows the outline most closely ; and as it has come to play by far the largest part in business correspondence it is the sales letter and its construction that should be given chief attention. TAKE these elements up one by one and compare them with cross-sections of a good salesman 's seUmg talk. You will be surprised to find how closely the paral- lelism follows and how simple a proposition it is to write a good business letter, after aU, once you learn that it is merely a matter of talking to your man on paper. First, you must get the attention of the reader. You may do this in a number of ways — by an opening sen- tence or paragraph, for instance, that arouses his curi- osity, or by a striking statement that hits some one of his own problems, difBculties or desires. This initial in- terest on the part of the man addressed is absolutely essential to the success of the letter. No matter how well your proposition may be stated in the body of the letter, or how strong your close, your efforts will be lost if the opening does not start the man reading. Following this attention-winning opening, the good letter runs directly into the description and explanation, ELEMENTS AND CONTENTS 13 Opening compelling attention Descrip- tion and explana- tion — arousing interest Argument and proof — convic- tion Persuasion Induxe- meni Closing — climax and clincher Dear Sin If this latter wore printed on a ten dollar bill, It could aoarcely be more jral- uable to you than the raessa^e It now con- tains. For It offers to place In the hands, of a few large manufacturers, aljnost with- out cost, a copy of the greatest JJATOI'Aar- UHEH'S TEXT BOOK ever lasued In iiaerloa - a boolt that contains complete and apeciric office, sales and factory schenes for In- creasing a business lljte yours, a book that actually outlines In charted form over 30 factory and selling plans that have built up ^lant businesses. In one chapter alone In this book there Is a cost system, all worked out, th^t saved one large concern $96,000 In factory expense In less than a single year. In another chapter the sales manager of a typewriter company ^Ives a complete new system for man- aging a sales force. Yet these are only- two out of 30 articles, all equaTly valuable. It tells how to stir up and enthuse your sales force; how to keep factory costs; how to advertise, promote and market your articles; how. In fact, to cut down expenses and Increase profits. It Is a ^old mine of business bulldli^ Ideas. And remember, the book la free. To each of the first one thousand iianufactur- era subscribing to we will send a cloth bound copy of this splendid 300 page book without charge. And even the magazine Is- no expense, for the $2 you pay for It will come back to you many times over before you -have read one-half of the 12 Issues. But you must act now - only 2700 copies of this book remain on hand and live manufact- xirera will snap up this offer. So pin your money to this letter and mall us today. Yours very truly. Here is an actual letter, used by a magazine in getting subscrip- tions, that is almost a model in logically presenting every element of salesmanship. From the unusual opening that compels attention, straight through to the urgent close prompting immediate action, the reader finds himself almost unconsciously led step by step to an irresistible desire to buy. 14 POSSIBILITIES OF THE LETTER which is planned to gain the reader 's interest. This part must be above all specific. Every salesman knows the value of the actual demonstration — of having his goods on the ground, so that the prospect can see and feel and understand. As a letter writer you cannot show your goods, you must depend on description. Give your man a definite idea of what you have to offer. Picture the article, its use, its advantages so vividly that it swims before his mental eye. But the reader must have proof of your statements. Proof or argument follows logically after explanation. Its object is to create desire. It is not enough to give your prospect an idea of the nature or make-up or work- ing principles of the thing you are selling him. You must reinforce all these by arguments, proving to him the advantage of the purchase, the saving that he will effect in his business, the increased efficiency he can attain in his work, the pleasure he will derive from the article. Proof may be presented by showing the satisfaction which the article has given to other buyers or by some novel demonstration of its quality and value. PERSUASION, on the heels of argument, intensifies desire. Here the reader must be shown tactfully how possession of the article will bring benefit to him personally. Possibly the best kind of persuasion is the subtle suggestion which pictures to the reader the satis- faction or actual gain which ownership would bring. Argument is giving a man evidence that will prompt him to act of his own volition. Persuasion is the added in- fluence of the salesman's or the writer's personality that brings action when the man himself hesitates. Then another thing which the letter as well as the sales- man must do — offer a specific inducement. You know ELEMENTS AND CONTENTS 15 how the clever salesman manipulates his talking points. Always he holds back till the last some extra reason why you should accept his proposition. This is the part that inducement plays in the letter. And it culminates in the climax or the clincher. As you hesitate, undecided whether or not to order, the shrewd salesman shoots at you one last advantage which he has held in reserve. And, you will also recall, he foUows it up immediately by placing before you an order blank ready for your signature. He has learned the secret of making it easy to order. And that is what you, too, must do in your business getting letter — follow up your last inducement and your "Act today" by giving the man something to sign — a post card, a coupon, something that is ready to retur^. Make it so plain to him what he is to do that there can'be no possible misunderstanding. Say it in so many words — "You do this and we will do that." Aim to make your climax so direct, so strong and simple that the reader cannot resist the temptation to reply. Give this contents outline application. Take, for ex- ample, the first letter in this chapter, an actual business letter that was successful in selling a great many books by mail. Note what an analysis of its make-up reveals, how it leads step by step to its striking climax . Here attention is won through a striking opening as- ■ sertion that must arouse the curiosity of any reader. But it runs in the very next sentence into explanation. Proof of the book 's value is found in statements'of what its plans have done for other concerns. The next para- graph persuades through suggesting what possession of the book would enable the buyer to do. Then follows inducement through ofEer J3f the book free as a premium. Finally the climax comes in the last urgent suggestion to act at once because the number is limited. And how 16 POSSIBILITIES OP THE LETTER Common- place opening Stereo- typed ex- pressions No argu- ment Does not actually interest Prompts no action Dear Sin We have been Informed that you contemplate bulliUng a new factory and If 80, we presume you will be In need of Buppllee. Te wish to advlea you that we are headquarters for all klnda of power trans- mitting machinery and mill supplies and can furnish and erect entire equipments. Enclosed find our 1G09 catalo^e. .By glancing through this you can obtain some idea of our line. If Interested in tliese ^ods, we should be glad of an opportunity to quote you prices and are confident they will meet your approval. Trusting you will let us have a share of your business and hoping we may hear from you at an early date* we are Yours very truly. Here is a typical sales letter, filled with stereotyped expres- sions and absolutely wanting^ in personality and real sales talk. It follows a commonplace form of general solicitation and would give no reader the impression that it was addressed to him penamalljf. As a whole the letter is purely commentary. It does not propose or offer one specific thing. The only positive statement in the entire letter is that a catalogue is enclosed. It does not interest the reader or arouse his desire. He has no reason for answering it. The opening sentence lacks the directness necessary to win atten- tion. There is too much "we" and not enough "you". Such expres- sions as "we notice", "no doubt" and "wedesire to inform you" are superfluous and detract from directness. It is a mistake to suggest that the reader "glance" through the catalogue. He should be asked to go over it carefully. Instead of soliciting an opportunity to quote discounts "if he is interested," the letter should actually win his interest by playing up some particular feature of quality, service or price and showing how the goods will meet his needs. The close is simply the mildest suggestion, inspires no action and offers no inducement for the reader to answer. Notice how the same proposition is handled in the rewritten letter: The opening appeals directly to the reader's needs, compelling his attention. The second paragraph wins his interest by picturing an undesirable situation he may face and sjiowing him how to avoid it ELEMENTS AND CONTENTS 17 Attention won Interest aroused by showing an under- standing of the reader's needs Beginning argument Argument hacked by proof in specific article and price cited Explana- tion Per- hiasion Prospect given something to sign My dear Ur. Jreneht You vlll soon be vaatlng suppllss for th* new plant you are erecting. And you know what a trying propos- ition supply buying la when you have to obtain your equipment from a doicen dif- ferent sources. There are sure to be some parts to go back for alterations; there will be delayed shipments on some goods that will hold up all. You have been saying to yourself how much quicker, and easier and better you could put your plant In shape If you could get somewhere a complete equipment that would meet your needs. That Is just what we are ready to Install for you on an hour's notice - a complete equipment that will meet your most exacting demands - In economy of operation - In day-ln-and-day-out wear- ing quality. And because we can furnish you With every Item of equipment that you need) we can do It at a bed-rock mlnlnuv bf cost to you. The catalogue enclos- ed Is a perfect directory of plant equlp- liient. Bo- over It very carefully, JTote partlctllarly the special prices quoted on "Star Brand' belting. This Is made in our own factory from the very cholc- ^ eat oak tanned stock. In actual teste It .as proved Its ability to outwear three times 'over any other belting at the same price on the market. And this Is Just one Item - Just to give you an Idea of the price and quality we could alve you In furnishing your. plant "complete. You simply cannot afford to buy a dollar's worth of supplies until you know our rock-bottom price for the en- tire equipment. Fill out and mall the enclosed specification blank today. Our prices and full particulars will come by return mal.1. Very truly yours. *o: Next comes argument to arouse his desire by showing him the trouble and money he can save by ordering a complete equipment. Proof follows in citing a. specific price and artjcle. In the close he is urged to ^ct at once and is offered' inducement in service — complete prices and particulars by return mail. And he is given something to do at once, bringing the letter to a strong ending. 18 POSSIBILITIES OP THE LETTER could ordering be made easier? Simply "pin your money to this letter and mail us today." Of course not aU letters have the elements marked off so clearly as this. An entirely different method of appeal may seem advisable. Judgment must depend upon your knowledge of what will win the reader's interest. But the finished letter contains, in some degree, every one of these elements. The only sure method of learning their functions, value and proper use, is to study each one individually. Then, with an appreciation of the effect of each upon the reader, you can build a balanced busi- ness letter that will bring results. The New Sales Letter EVERY new machine or process, every novel plan, scheme or prin- ciple, is a tool in the hands of today's success builder. And the original thought, the para- graph or letter that abandons yester- day's formalities, that hits straight, that hevsrs to the line of "'you", is stone for tomorrow's tower of business. ^bdJ CHAPTER III The Make-up of a Business Letter THE first estimate a business man makes of an un- known correspondent is based on the appearance of his letter. A business man who is familiar with the or- dinary conventional forms of a letter, is quick to notice any departure from the accepted standards. His first impulse upon receiving a communication of unusual shape or arrangement is to criticize. It breaks away from the routine ; it obtrudes itself upon his attention ; it . attracts his notice in the same way as a peculiar suit of clothes or a house of odd design, a unique table service or any other object of every-day familiarity and use that departs from the forms to which he has been accustomed. It is undoubtedly true that on rare occasions the effects of such changes are pleasing. But it is also true that the generally observed forms, especially of business letters, have been accepted for certain well defined reasons after practical experimenting. He who adopts new standards should do so cautiously and for cause ; otherwise he may expect the same criticism that faUs to him who adopts the unusual in dress or manner. 20 POSSIBILITIES OF THE LETTER For practical purposes, the size of a sheet of business stationery should be approximately 8 by 11 inches ; even though it vary an inch or two, in either dimension, it should observe about these proportions. This size has been established by no single authority or group of authorities, and a correspondent may vary it as he wiU ; a man once wrote a message on an oyster shell, stamped it, and the postal authorities, in the course of time, de- livered it to the addressee. But the standard envelope is 3y2 by 6% inches in size, and a sheet about 8 by 11 inches folds into it very conveniently and is handled more quickly and safely by the post ofSce than smaller envelopes that may get lost in the shuffle ; the miscarriage of small, odd shaped envelopes used for sending out per- sonal cards and announcements has caused more than one social faux pas. Furthermore, a sheet of these proportions is convenient to handle and to file. And as business houses generally observe the safe eind sane usage, envelopes and sheets of standard size and form are preferred to the oyster shell school of originality. For legal documents, manuscripts and other larger sheets, larger envelopes, also of standard size, are provided. EVERY business letter should be written on business stationery — with a business letter head. It should be written on one side of the sheet only, and should be sent out in an envelope with the name and address of the sender printed, lithographed, engraved or otherwise clearly noted in the upper left comer, so that the oflficied pointing-hand stamp of the postoflSce, with the instruc- tions "return to sender" may be affixed, in case of non- delivery, without causing undue annoyance as is some- MAKE-UP OF LETTERS 21 times occasioned by placing the return address on the back of the envelope or in some other imusual place. A copy should be kept of every communication that leaves the office. Either a carbon copy may be made at the time the letter is written (six good copies may be made simultaneously on the average typewriter machine, although only one is usually required) or a letter-press copy should be made from the sheet after it is signed. Both forms have been accepted by the courts as legal copies of correspondence. In the average office, constant reference is made to former correspondence ; no business house can afford to ignore such a record. Carbon copies are usually filed alphabetically either by the name of the company or individual to whom the letter is addressed ; letter-press copies must necessarily be filed chronologically, even when separate hooks for each letter of the alphabet are maintained. In either ease the search through the files for a letter copy is facilitated by plac- ing the name, address and date of a letter at the top and in a uniform location. The date of a letter should be placed in the upper right comer of the page ; the recipient must know when the communication is sent; it may have a bearing on other communications. The name and address of the addressee, similar to the address on the envelope, should in all cases be placed, as the formal salutation, in the upper left corner of the sheet, whether the correspondent be greeted "Dear Sir" or "Gentlemen." Not only does this establish at once the exact individual for whom the communication is intended, but it facilitates the filing of the correspondence, both by the recipient and by tha sender. The margins of a business letter, owing to the limitations of the typewriter, are usually of variable width. The space occupied by the letterhead must, of 22 POSSIBILITIES OF THE LETTER LETTER H>CAO WAME 4. ADDRESS SALUTATION BODY OF LETTER COMPLIMENTARY CLOSE SlGtJATURE L TITLE This form illustrates common errors in the arrangement of a business letter: margin at left too small; letterhead too near top of sheet; ragged margin at right; date line extending beyond margin; name and address of addressee do not balance with date line; salutation too high; para- graphs not clearly indicated; crowding at bottom of page. MAKE-UP OF LETTERS 23 'CETT EB HEAD ' -NAMEi AODRESS DATE .SALUTATION i r r BODY OF LETTEa ' - ■ ■ '^IIIMsSiS: W'li ^' ^/4: ■■ J 1 r [COSIPLIHENTAHY CLOSE | SiaNATURE- TITLE A good arrangement of a one-page business letter, showing the ap- proved type balance: margins at top and sides uniform; paragraphs in the body may Belndicated by indentations of first lines or by double, or triple spacings between paragraphs. For convenience as well as economy, business letters now have only single spacings between lines. 24 POSSIBILITIES OF THE LETTER course, determine the margin at the top of the sheet. Theoretically, the margins at the left and right should be exactly the same size; practically, however, the type- writer lines will vary in length and cause an tmeven edge on the right side. In printing, the use of many sized slugs not only between words but between the letters themselves, rectifies these variations, but the type- writer is not so equipped. The more even the right margin is and the more uniform it is to the left margin, the better the effect. The margin should be about one or one and a half inches in width. The margin at the bottom should not be smaller and preferably greater than the side margins. Should it be smaller, the page will at once appear cramped for space, as the reading matter will be really running over into the margin — a typographical blunder that is as noticeable on typewritten as on printed pages. The spacing between the lines and between the para- graphs of a business letter may vary somewhat to suit the tastes of the individual although considerations of a practical nature tend to establish a few genera] prin- ciples. Both for purposes of convenience and of economy, for instance, a letter should be as compact as possible, both in words and in mechanical production — it should not take up two sheets if one will serve. Hence most business letters are single spaced — only a single space on the typewriter separates one line from another. Even when a letter is short, it is advisable for purposes of uniformity, to use single spaces only. THE first line of each paragraph is usually indented from five to fifteen points on the machine — each business house should establish exactly what this inden- tation shall be in order to secure uniformity in its corre- RIAKB-UP OP LETTERS 25 spondence. Instead of indenting the first line, some con- cerns designate the paragraphs by merely separating them by several spacings, and typewriting the first line squarely upon the left margin. The best practice, how- ever, seems to embody both of these methods, and the average business letter usually has its paragraphs separ- ated by a spacing two or three times as great as the spacings between the lines and the first line of the para- graph is usually indented. The use of uniform typewriter ribbons on all the machines operated by one concern is rapidly and proper- ly coming into favor. It is good business to have all the letters issuing from one house of similar appearance. They should be uniform typographically — in spacings, margins, forms of salutation, addressing. And no one item is more important in securing this uniformity than similarity in the color of the typewriter ribbon. In recognition of this fact, most concerns now furnish their typists with ribbons that are bought in lots and kept in stock. Purple ribbons are perhaps the most popular, not only because the color is bold but also because the chemical ingredients used blend well and give a smooth, durable impression on the paper. THE address on the envelope, to which the salutation at the top of the letter should correspond either ex- actly or in slightly condensed form, may be properly typewritten in various ways. The style that is most ob- served, however, and which therefore has the stamp of general approval, provides for an indentation of about five points on each line of the address. The spacings between the lines are usually single or double; greater spacing tends to separate the address too much to allow it to be quickly read. Still another 26 POSSIBILITIES OF THE LETTER approved though less popular form of address does not indent the lines at all. Any radical departure from these forms should be made cautiously, especially if the various items of the address are separated from each other. The address, like a paragraph, is generally read as a unit — as a single, distinct idea. The closer the address conforms to the generally accepted forms, the more readily are the en- velopes handled by the postoffice and with less danger of delay or loss. Even when all of the above details in the mechanical production of a business letter have been carefully ob- served, its effect may be destroyed by carelessness. A conspicuous erasure on the sheet, a blot, or a finger mark nullifies the impression that is created by an otherwise perfect page. Care should be taken to guard against creating any wrong impression. The Right Letter UNNAMED trifles and unconscious impressions drag sales across the line of profit. The stupid, ill-dressed letter dissuades more buyers than all the errors salesmen make. The neat and self-forgetful sheet brings with it its own "welcome" motto. Part II ELEMENTS OF THE BUSINESS LETTER The Single Aim SOME men talk without getting any- where in particular. Aiming at noth- ing, they hit their mark. And some letters go rambling from salutation to close. They are so many ink marks that take up space. But listen to the master lawyer make his plea. He selects his points, marshalls them in order, drives them home, aiming always at one vital end — the verdict. And the good business letter has a single design. Attention, interest, desire, are es- sentials enroute, but they all lead to one terminal — action. Plan your letters logically, but keep one end in view — to crystallize wants, turn desire to decision, get results, the order — now. CHAPTER IV How to Start a Letter— Attention MOST men want to read your letters. Even a busy man— a man whose daily mail runs into hundreds of pieces— is just as anxious to read what you have to say as you are to have him. But he can't — he simply can't. He opens the sheet with interest, even with enthusiasm. "What's this?" he says. "Prom Jones and Company — who are they? — what's their proposition? — blank books, eh? — we'll be needing some pretty soon and I'm not entirely satisfied with the last lot we bought from Smith and Company." That's your man's attitude nine times in ten. He's ready, willing, anxious to be favorably impressed with your sales letter, and what does he get? A stereotyped opening. A pointless proposition that probably does not contain the very information he wants. A grovelling, beseeching, spineless superscription. The first acts upon his interest about as a pail of cold water would; the second irritates him; the last — if he ever gets that far — simply adds speed to the fillip with which he files it in the nearby waste basket. If your letters do not bring results, do not console GETTING ATTENTION 29 yourself with the false belief that all sales letters are scrapped by the clerk or boy who opens the mail. Once in a hundred times — maybe. The other ninety and nine failures are due to some fault with the letter or the prop- osition it presents. NOT, understand me, that I claim onj/ letter will give returns in every case, but the right sort of a letter will invariably leave the right sort of an impression. Your man may not be in the market, he may not feel able to make the immediate investment, he may be engrossed with matters of such importance as not to be able to study your proposition. But if the letter is right, it will do its work. A bad start wiU kill an otherwise passable sales letter. What is a bad start ? I should say any opening which does not nail attention with the first phrase, which does not turn this attention to vital, personal interest. Attention! Study that word carefully. There are as many ways of attracting attention as there are colors in the rainbow. A few primary rules may be evolved, but these are sub- ject to an infinite number of shadings and variations. Personal taste will determine how best to attract atten- tion in different classes of letters ; conditions, moods and the exigencies of the moment will govern the exact color- ing and tone of the individual letter. Your start should make the reader feel as if you yourself were at his desk, making your talk. As you hope to do this by all means steer away from the stereotyped opening. You will never get a man's attention if you begin in the same old common-place way : "I have the honor to inform you," or "In reply to yours of the 18th I heg to state." There is no particular honor 30 ELEMENTS OF THE LETTER involved in informing me and no reason on earth why a man should "beg to state" something I have asked him. A business man told me that he got so sick of "bogging" letters that he fired them all into the waste-basket. Why not say what you have to say right off the bat? When I write for a catalogue, for example, why should a man begin his letter in reply with a preamble like this : "Answering your recent favor addressed to our office, we wish to state that under separate cover we are mailing you a copy of our 1909 catalogue and trust you may find such a lamp as you require illustrated therein." Why not break right in: "The catalogue you asked for the other day is going to you in this mail and we are so confident that you will find listed in it just the kind of a lamp you want that we want you to go through it very caref idly." What's the difference? I feel instinct- ively on reading the first that they are sending me that catalogue as a favor. The other gets my attention and interest because I am made to feel there is a lamp in that catalogue that I want. After all, the easiest and best way to start a letter is to be perfectly natural. When a clothier answers my in- quiry with "Agreeable to your request of recent date we enclose you our booklet," he not only fails to make a good impression, but he actually makes a bad one. He begins that way simply because he thinks formalities are necessary. But in doing so he flies wide of a good begin- ning because the sentence is not only stilted, but it im- plies that he is condescending to do me a favor. How much more natural it is to begin as this motor manufacturer does: "Our idea in the manufacture of a motor is just this — the customer wants a motor that is mechanically correct." And here is a man who would sell me a cedar chest. He gets my attention and interest GETTING ATTENTION 31 Attention Explana- tion and argumerU Argument and prouf Persuasion Clincher Dear Vr, Buritoi You wouldn't thlnli of throwing away your fountain pen simply becauea the Ink is ejchaustad. Then why throw away your worn duplicating machine ribbons? Ve can re-Ink them as well as you can fill your fountain pen. If you will Qxanlne one of your apparently worthless ribbons you will find that the fabric Is scarcely worn at* all. We take these, treat then with our special process, refill them with Ink and return them to you practically new rib- bons and for only one-half the cost. Read the enclosed folder — It explains Our proposition fully. But a trial will convince you. And the soon- er you send them the more you'll save. Why not pack them up, put on the enclosed shipping label and send them along right now? Yours very truly. Here is a sales letter that is especially good because it presents its proposition fuUy. and clearly, and makes a strong and conyjncjng ap- peal in a few paragrapSs. All the elements of salesmanship are present, yet they are so cleverly interwoven that the letter stands, first of all, as a_ unit. Attention is won through a combination of the two methods of opening a letter recommended in this chapter — use of the word "you!' and a direct unusual statement. Another virtue of the opening is that it states aTEacTthat the reader is Jorced_ta agree, to, thus laying the basis of confidence that is so desirable in every selling transaction. The first three paragraphs explain the proposition and all are likewise full of argument. Proof of the reasonableness of the propo- sition is offered in the suggestion that the reader examine the ribbons himself. There is both persuasion and inducement in paragraph four's ur- gent argument of m""'^y saved, and the close is a good example of how action may be prompted when you do not give the prospect anything to sign. Two instances are presented of calling attention to enclosures without breaking the gontituiity of the letter, and the reference to the shipping, label is an especially good example of mak- ing it easv for the prospect to order. 32 ELEMENTS OP THE LETTER from the start when he says : "You know that in Colonial days nothing was considered equal to a red cedar chest for preserving furs, blankets, etc." SOME -writers of success-bringing letters consider that the problem of gaining attention is solved best by use of several words, sometimes displayed in capitals or underliued, as the first paragraph of the letter, thus : "Dear Sir: "BIG PROFITS FOR YOU!" "Dear Sir: "FIRE TWO OF YOUR CLERKS" "Dear Sir: "You MUST act today." "Dear Sir: "MAY I GIVE YOU $1000.00?" This plan is based upon successful advertising prac- tice. It is to a sales letter what a catch-line is to an advertisement. You summarize the most striking fea- ture of your proposition into the smallest possible num- ber of words and hurl them at your prospective buyer with all the emphasis at your command. Used with discretion, the idea is excellent. It makes the reader sit up. The human mind is so constructed that it requires a positive and conscious mental effort to turn aside from any thing which has aroused curiosity. The normal operation of the mind is to satisfy that curi- osity, even though the reader 's cold reason teUs him that he is not likely to be interested. An admirable example of this scheme was the letter of a magazine publisher addressed to subscribers from whom renewals of sub- scriptions were being solicited. The letter opened with the single word — "Expired!" GETTING ATTENTION 33 Very few of those who received that letter failed to read further to learn who, or what, had expired. An- ojirer instance is that of a collection agency. This con- 'cern had a series of form letters designed to facilitate collections, and the circular letter through which it brought the proposition to the attention of possible clients opened— "YOU DO NOT PAY YOUR BILLS PROMPTLY, SIR!" Naturally, the man who received such a slap in the face did not toss the letter aside without learning more. The advantage of the display-line opening is that it virtually compels the reader to continue into the second paragraph of your letter. The danger is that you may arouse an interest which the balance of your communi- cation, or the merit of your proposition, does not justify. This style of opening is like the catch-line of an ?idver- tisement or the head line of a newspaper article. The ad- writer who shrieks "Prices Slaughtered" and then lists staple goods at prevailing prices misses fire. The newspaper which habitually employs lurid headlines and six-inch type to set forth the ordinary doings of a duU day has nothing in reserve when an event warranting the spread eagle scream line occurs. The method is one to use sparingly and only when other means fail. NEXT in importance to the display-line as a means of riveting attention, stands the word "You." Nothing is so important to a man as himself ; there is no subject on which he would rather talk— or listen. Some say this is vanity. It is not. No man ever amounted to anything who did not consider himself, his methods, plans, judgment, accomplishments, to be thoroughly prac- tical and worthy of emulation. '/This is not smugness or 34 ELEMENTS OF THE LETTER self -complacency. It is the normal attitude of a man en- titled to sit at a roll-top desk. It is, if you please, your own attitude — ^the attitude of self respect. The intelli- gent writer of sales letters will employ the word "You" with tact and discretion. \ Because it is the open sesame to every man's attention is the very reason why it should be carefully guarded and sparingly used for business- getting at all times. A sales letter is designed to lead a man to a new in- terest, change a man's point of view or alter his past convictions. Before he reads the letter he holds one of three views; either he never heard of your proposition (in which case he must be enlightened) ; or he is satis- fied with his present goods or methods; or he has an active prejudice against you. In any case, his opinion must be r ^spected, though you are writing in an endeavor to alter it. TO OPEN a letter with, "You realize, of course, that you are losing money iy not iuying our " is to insult your prospective customer by telling him that he is deliberately throwing away money. "Tou" is the second most important word in the vo- cabulary and the second oldest. As an attention-com- peller it is without peer, but it is a word with which one may not take liberties. The writer of sales letters must remember that he is generally addressing a stranger, and that while a friendly, natural, man-to-man attitude is desirable, nothing that verges upon familiarity will be tolerated. "You" is familiar. It will, without doubt, get the reader's attention. Therefore, be sure that it. gets the right sort of attention. When a certain eminent surgeon was asked what part of the human body was most sensitive, he replied, "The pocketbook." Even a GETTING ATTENTION 35 crude appeal to the purse will win attention. Men are in business to make money. The individual to whom your sales letter is addressed is as intent on money-get- ting as yourself. These, then, are points upon which we may be sure we can gain instant attention — the display line, the word "You" and the appeal to the pocket. It is easy enough to attract attention: the rub comes when you endeavor to vitalize that attention into per- sonal, undivided interest. The first is a trick of words. Cry "Stop !" and every man within hearing will turn to your call. But the next word uttered must make its personal appeal or the at- tention gained is again lost. And attention lost is a double loss, for a man once tricked into pausing to hear something of no interest will not be tricked again. That, I believe, is the most treacherous pitfall of the writer of sales letters — the employment of shrewd means to gain a hearing and the failure to take advantage of the opportunity with a letter which will interest, per- suade and finally carry absolute conviction. Too many writers stop half way. They are like a chap I knew at college — always able to get a job but never able to hold one. He told me it was because the "gilt wore off." You have your man 's attention : now for his interest ! SUGGEST that you can help the read- er of your letter and you have his at- tention. Tell hovv^, and you have his interest. Prove it, and you are likely to have his signature. CHAPTER V How to Arouse Interest AMONG magazine and newspaper writers the ac- knowledged form of successful short fiction is the "human interest story" — one dealing with primitive pas- sions, the incidents of which are common experience. Your wash-woman and the heiress at boarding school, your ofSee boy and the director of a great railway, are equally— though perhaps differently— affected by it. It deals with fundamentals. It ignores non-essentials. Hu- man interest it is which packs the playhouse, which makes possible a penny press, which sells millions of magazines. Properly handled, it maj' be made the basis of nine-tenths of your successful sales letters. Human interest is a vague term ; one difficult to define and even more difficult to apply to a cold commercial proposition. Perhaps the easiest and quickest way to arrive at an imderstanding is to cite examples taken at random from several widely different industries. Let us suppose we are writing to a woman on the sub- ject of boy's clothing. This is a subject which lends it- self readily to the display line opening described in the preceding chapter, so we will use it, thus : "Deab Mrs. Myers: "About that Boy of yours." AEOUSING INTEREST 37 We have her attention ; of that there can be no You have not yet eent us your aubaorlptlon to SYSTEM. Why? It cannot fee the price - $3 - for you would gladly give many times that amount for the Ideas that a single Issue of SYSTEM will bring. It cannot be the want of time — for a mere stroke of the pen would piece your name on SYSTEM'S mailing list. It cannot be you are not Interested -- for who ever heard of a business man who did not want his business, hlfl efficiency, hla Income to grow? It cannot be the need of opportunity — for we have written you five letters, giving you five opportunities, and as yet you have not re- sponded to any one of them. So we write once again. Will you give yourself a chance to learn what SYSTEM is accomplish- ihg for you even while you are. keeping it from your dQsk? We do not want to annoy you; we want to help you, and as evidence of our sincerity, make the following unusual offeri Your choice of any OKE of the remarkable aeries of HOW books dssoribed in the encloaed folder! Bear In mind: One book FI^EE with your re- aewal.' And every idea in every volume ia apeeiflc> practical, uaable — written by experts. Here are correct, definite, detailed aolutions for all those business problems that ao long have vexed and worried you. Every book in the whole series is printed in large clear type on dull-flniah book paper, richly bound In vellum de luxe, 128-172 pages, alze B 1/4" x 7 1/2" — worthy of a place on any buaineas mean's desk. Hun your finger down the nine titles listed In the circular. Pick out the book you need. Mark your choice and send with a $2 bill today . We will not only aend you SYSTEM for the next twelve months, but will alao forward you, ab- aolutely free^ even tranaportation charges prepaid, the "HOW" book that you choose, Thla is the fair- est offer we know how to make. Take advantage of it NOW and thank us at your leisure. Yours very truly. An actual follow-up letter that has been very "successful in pulling a large number of orders. Note how, without the slightest suggestion of apology, it condenses the arguments that have gone before, then offers an inducement as a climax not only of the letter, but of the entire series. 70 ELEMENTS OF THE LETTER one was serviceable and the other clumsy — one consti- tuted a real inducement and the other was a deterrent. THE inducement feature of the sales letter must always stand before the most searching inquiry. To fool a customer into responding to your letter may mark you as exceptionally clever, but that customer will neither forgive nor forget if he finds it out. For example : A certain dictionary publisher sent broadcast an an- nouncement stating that holders of his dictionaries who would send him the printer's imprint of the several vol- umes would doubtless learn something to their advantage. The bait took and those who responded by naming the imprint of the printer from whose press had issued the first edition, were immediately importuned to buy an appendix to bring the work up to date. It was a shrewd scheme — too shrewd. It may have sold books, but it as certainly made enemies for that house. I know because I was one of "the goats." YET while such brazen means are to be eliminated there is a wide latitude within which the mail- salesman may work without being reduced to price slaughtering — other inducements which will pull replies from interested people and make the labor of landing the order easy. A case of this is seen in the following, writ- ten by the commercial agent of a large power company: "Dear Sir: — Will you kindly supply us with informa- tion as per attached form? We are getting statistics covering the power situation in L and would appre- ciate your co-operation." INDUCEMENT 71 The form enclosed was provided with spaces for very complete information regarding the addressee's power equipment and requirements, and placed in the commer- cial agent 's hands exactly the facts he needed in order to make a complete and definite proposition. About 33 per cent of the letters sent out brought back the desired information. This, to be sure, is an exceptional case, but it represents the extreme to which that part of a sales-letter designated as "the inducement" may be carried. It is not necessary to offer "something for nothing." It is not necessary to appear to be giving your man a double eagle for a one-cent postage stamp. But it is necessary ever and always, to incorporate in a sales letter something which will answer that eternal : "Why should I?" It may be simply an offer that is eminently fair and so squarely put up to you that you cannot refuse, as for instance when a refrigerator manufacturer writes: "Bemember, an order is simply an opportunity for the Morton to sell itself to you. There is no sale — no obliga- tion to keep it — until you have used it in your home for 60 days and are satisfied. Just let us send it." And always make the inducement seem easy to take hold of. Have nothing involved — ^nothing that will force the reader to doubt as to the correct thing to do. Un- certainty is the mother of inaction. Your proposition should be clear as day — "Do this and you get that"— and no matter how indefinite you leave ' ' that, ' ' you must make "this" specific and simple. This is the real strength of the coupon in advertisements and of order-cards in circular letters. Coupons and order-cards are not so much easier to^use than a short letter, but they look easy and — what is more important — they condense the terms 72 ELEMENTS OF THE LETTER and methods of procedure down to bare essentials and show the customer exactly what to do. The process of making it look easy to take hold of the inducement, follows up the answer your inducement makes to the question "Why should I?" with the insis- tent return question of "Why shouldn't you?" The "Now" Element FINE phrases and interesting anec- dotes are not what bring replies to the sales letter. The prospect may en- thuse over your literary touch and swear at the delay you have caused in his work. He may chuckle over your wit — and chuck your proposition into the waste. The only thing that sometimes re- deems stupid paragraphs — that makes clever wording irresistible — is a reason to act at once, a subtle demand that must be met now, a simple why that puts this particular, brier task above the dozens which clamor to be done to- day and must — some of them — await the tomorrows. CHAPTER X Summary and Climax— The Clincher SUPPOSE a salesman came into your office with an article, demonstrated its qualities, proved your need of it and its value to you, made you want it so badly that you were just reaching into your pocket to pay for it — and then, when he could have your money for the asking, suppose he suddenly strapped up his sample case, said ' ' I will be glad to talk to you more about this some other time," and walked out the door. What kind of a salesman would you call him ! A shoe manufacturer tried to sell me a pair of shoes by mail. He wrote a letter that had me interested, con- vinced, almost ready to buy. Then instead of a clincher that decided me, I struck this last paragraph: "We so- licit further correspondence with you concerning our proposition." "What did I do? I shot that letter into the waste basket, and bought a pair of shoes on my way home. Any difference between the absurdly imaginary sales- man in the first paragraph and the very actual letter writer in the second ? Not a bit. But suppose the shoe manufacturer had closed by say- ing: "Simply check the size and style you want on the enclosed Hank, sign and mail it today with $3.00 in any 74 ELEMENTS OF THE LETTEE convenient form and the shoes will come to you at once all charges paid." Suppose he had said that! The chances are a hundred to one he would have my money now and I would be wearing his shoes. And there you have in a nutshell the vital essential that makes or kills a sales letter. YOU are wasting time and energy when you con- centrate your strength in your argument and then fail to turn desire into action. What is the use of mak- ing the prospect want your goods if you wind up your letter with a close that lets him feel he might as well wait a day or two? Let him wait and the chances are that next day your competitor comes along with a letter that strikes home. Then he gets the business and your letter slides from the hold-over file into the waste basket. Make your prospect want to order, of course, but don't stop there. Make it easy for him to order and make him do it now. That is what is meant by real climax — it tells the prospect what to do and when to do it — it crystallizes all that goes before into the act itself. Every successful climax has two parts. The first con- sists of what we have termed persuasion and inducement — it summarizes all the preceding strong points of the letter, it shows the gain that is mine in ordering, the loss that is mine by delay. It emphasizes return and min- imizes cost. It is the parapraph that says : "Just think what you are getting — this and this and this, all for the small sum of , think what it means to you, to your future. And remember, you do not risk one penny. Every cent of your money will be returned to you if you are not satisfied. Why delay a single moment?" When he reads that, your man is almost ready to act. But not quite, for your climax lacks the clincher. What THE CLINCHER 75 is ho to do to get all the things you offer? Tell him. Make it so plain and so easy that he wiU have not a reason in the world for not ordering. If you don 't, you haven 't finished your letter, and lacking the effect of that clincher your prospect is going to lapse from his ' ' almost ready" attitude back into indifference. NOW how can you get him to act? Go back to the star salesman. How does he do it? He gives you something to sign. He lays before you an order blank complete save only for your signature. Note how easy he has made it for you to order: he does not ask that you hunt up a letter head and draw up an order of your own. He has the order all printed and there within yoiir easy reach. Just apply his idea to your letter. Give the man some- thing to sign. A post card filled out, addressed and ready to mail, a coupon that simply awaits his name — or some little easy-as-lifting-your-finger act to do that makes an- swering almost automatic. There is something marvellous about the tempting power of the little blank that awaits your name when it is rightly employed. No man likes to be bull-dozed by another into signing anything. He balks when the tact- less salesman literally shoves the order before him and attempts to force his signature. Force instantly finds the touch-button of his antagonism. But watch the clever salesman who has learned the subtle influence of the waiting blank itself. He places the order before you but he lets it do its own tempting. He talks not the order but the goods, not your name, but your needs. And when you pick up your pen and sign your name you do so on your own initiative because j'ou want the goods he sells. 76 ELEMENTS OP THE LETTER Weak and too formal Lacks interest Apology injures and weakens appeal Why should If More weakening apology Dear Sin We have not had the pleasure of hav- ing reoelved a reply to the letter ffo afl- dreeaed to you about two wealts ago, and wa pause to ask If you received that let- ter, ea well as the catalog which we oall- ed you at the same time. if eo, we trust that our prices and superior quality of Princeton Piano Player have so interested you as to insure your order when you are ready to purchase. If, however, the cat- alog and letter did not reach you, kindly advise us, and we will mail duplicates. We are real anxious to secure your order, yet do not want to annoy you con- tinually with a lot of stereotyped let- ters such as are generally sent out by factories sellinR their products by nail — in other words we do not abruptly conclude that simply because you were kind enough to write us relative to our HOods that you are under obligations to buy of ua. Te trust, however, that after you have gone over the matter very carefully you will decide that our Princeton Pla'yer la the best for the money, and that when you are ready to purchase, you will favor us with your order, as we know you will never have any cause to regret it. In the meantime, if you have no ob- .lections, we will mall you now and then illustrations and descriptions of each of our new atylRs ae we place them on the market, feeling that you will be Interest- ed in the latest, up-to-date styles, even though you may not be in an immediate need of than yourself. Again thanking you for the Inquiry, Very truly yours. This is an actual letter used as the fourth and last in a follow-up series. It is poor because not only is it entirely lacking in argxunent as to quality or price, but throughout it takes entirely the wrong atti- tude — that of a continual apology for taking the prospect's time, for annoying him, for following him up at all. This invariably places the writer in a bad position, for instead of making the reader ward to buy, it makes him feel that his order is asked merely as a personal favor. Now note the rewritten follow-up letter on the same proposition. Without a suggestion of apology, it goes straight to the point with THE CLINCHER 77 Direct Three con- densed arguments convinc- ingly stated Induce- ment Proof Persua- sion Strong close Dsar Mi'i-Carteri The only thing that has kept you from oril«Flng a Princeton Piano Play- er long before this 18 that — you are atlll a little In'. doubt as to Its value -- you still hesitate to believe that It offers positively the biggest value that your money oan. purchase. There are a number of ways In which we night oaoe and for all time re- move "your prejudice, your doubts, your misgivings. -- We might point to the 8,143 satisfied purchasers — we might show you the steady stream of orders that number more than' half a thousand each month. --we might pull open drawer after drawer filled to bursting with un- solicited testimonials. But we have a plan better by far than any of these. You are to try the Princeton Player In your own home for thirty days — one full month - at our rlslt . Simply deposit the -first small payme'nt. The player will be delivered to your home, ready for your use. Then jjut It to a test as thorough - as severe - as you wish. If the player does not more than please and satisfy you In every particular, simply say so and we will re- move It at our expense and refund every penny of your deposit. If you are as thoroughly pleas- ed as the 8,143 others who nave purchas- ed,, you haye simply to continue making yoiir small monthly payments. Could we possibly make a fairer, more liberal offer? Could any offer more clearly prove our absolute faith In the Princeton Player? Accept this offer today. Simply sign the enclosed deposit blank, enclose $10 and mall now and the player will come to Jou at once. Very truly yours. argument and proof, and then oflfers a still stronger inducement — a free trial of the player. Far from being apologetic, it is straigth- forward, strong, convincing. 78 ELE]\tENTS OP THE LETTEK Now the beauty of all this is that the clever salesman's methods fit perfectly into the scheme of paper salesman- ship. Build up your interest, argument, persuasion and inducement and then, when you have your prospect con- vinced, almost ready to say ' ' I will buy, " do as the sales- man does, make it easy for him to decide, literally lay a waiting order blank before him. Kefer him to your little business-getting supplement —the blank or card or coupon. Simply tell him what to do and what the result will be; say, "You do this and we will do that." And with perfect self-assurance that whatever move he makes will be of his own choice, your man will find ordering so easy that he can't resist, he will "sign and mail today." NOTE, for example, how simple an act one house makes ordering: "Merely sign the last page of the booklet enclosed — pin a two dollar bill to it — and mail us today." Elementary, isn't it! No writing a letter, no buying a draft. The homesteader on a stage route with the stub of a pencil and a two dollar note could answer that letter as well as an executive surrounded by a bevy of stenographers. There are two essentials to a successful clincher of this kind: it must give the reader something easy to do, and it must be clear. Virtually your offer is a contract and its terms should be so simple, its conditions so eminently fair, that the reader can find no reason for not accepting it. These people exemplify the idea perfectly when they say: "Simply pin a $2.00 bill to this letter as a deposit, and we will send the book by the first mail. Look the book fiver carefully. If you don't see a dollar's worth in al- THE CLINCHER 79 Statemeni of fact wins con- fidence Explana- tion of need Explana- tion and argument showing how need IS met Explana- tion of ad- Explana- tion of quality Proposi- tion brought to definite point in close and e ineher Dear Mr. Grahetni You will of course , es a nat- ter of convonlenco and eoonoray, inatell stock rack a In your new factory - raoliB that win olasolfy your supplies end maj!« them easily accessible. But In addition to affordlna these advantages you will want racks that occupy no more spaoe than your supplies actually dejiand. Every foot .of space In your factory Is a fixed expense to you. It costs you noney every day year In and year out. And every foot of spaoe that Is wasted Bieans actual money loss. TJjls one feature of conpactnoss alone nakes the Thonpson steal rack supe- rior to any other deylce In ilsa for the storas* of parts and supplies. For -the Thompson Is adjustable to every varying demand. You don't have to wpate a large bin on two or three part.s and stuff a small bin to overflowing. . You can ad- 1uet each bin separately to the nature t and quantity of the articles It' dontaTas,' 80 that parts are given not an Inch mora room than they actually need. Think what tills neans In noney gained every fiay In the year. Yet as your euppllso or etocH Increases you will flnd-'theso racks cap- able of unllsltad expansion. You can make additions and extensions at any point to T^ieet inor-eaelns requirements. Each section le a unit sad new' sections fit perfectly with tho old. And Thompson racks are built to laet. Constructed ..of the most durable Gteel, they ere tested, to hold the hanv- loat loadSp no matter how unequally plao- eJ. Onee InBtalled, they will never cost you one cent of additional expense end they will last a life tlae. Arranse ncii to make these racks one of the great convenlencss of your plant. Fill out and nail today the en- closed post card - It will bring our re- presentative to give you a complete es- ■ tlnata of yoiir needs. This Information puts ycu under no obligation to buy, eni it la yours for the asking- post card by ^turn mail. Send the Very truly yours, A good letter beginning with a statement with which the pros- pect agrees and leading him step by step to the buying point. 80 ELEMENTS OP THE LETTER most every page, write a mere postal and we will return your $2.00. "There are no restrictions, no conditions, no strings on this offer. It is open to every well rated iusiness man who acts before the first edition of the hook is exhausted. Pin your $2.00 to the letter and mail today." Could anything be plainer ? And could a man find one good sound reason for not accepting that offer? Here is another: "Simply wrap your three dollars in this letter and mail it now — not after lunch, for things to he done after lunch are often not done at all. But now when this letter is before you, when you need merely wrap your check or the bills in it and 7nail to me at my risk. And then the orders may come and the goods may go, by the hundreds — hut you will he sure of your set by immediate prepaid shipment." Of course there are variations unnumbered to such closes. A typewriter company uses the idea admirably when it says : "The factory is working to the limit these days and we are behind on orders now. But we are going to hold the machine we have reserved for you a few days longer. After that tve may have to use it to fill another order. Sign and send us the enclosed blank today and let u^ place the machine where it will be of real service to you. Remember it is covered by a guarantee that protects you against disappointment. If you don't like it, si^nply re- turn it and back comes your money." THE simpler the order to be signed the better. A coupon of a dozen words can often tell the whole story. If no money is to accompany the reply, an ad- dressed post card bearing a printed request is best of THE CLINCHER 81 all. "Simply sign the enclosed card and drop it in the mail" borders on the extreme of easy ordering. There is something about a guarantee blank, too, that coaxes the pen to its dotted line. A safety razor manu- facturer who sold his goods on approval enclosed with his sales letter a legal looking return contract that read : ABSOLUTE GUABANTEE "I deposit herewith $2.50 for which please send me absolutely without further cost your * * * Razor. It is understood that if I am not perfectly satisfied with my investment I will return the razor to you within ten days and you will refund my full $2.50 promptly and cheer- fully, cancelling the order." Such a protective guarantee wins the confidence of the prospect, and this form got many a buyer because it showed him specifically that he could not lose. A correspondence school foimd a winner, too, in a serially numbered coupon which it enclosed with a letter telling of a special offer to students. Each coupon read : "This serial coupon will he accepted as $5.00 in cash pay- ment toward the tuition for our regular $18, twelve- weeks' course in bookkeeping, if properly signed and mailed within seven days following receipt of this letter." But when you give your man something to sign, guard well against obscurity. It is human nature to search a wordy order blank for statements with double meaning. THERE never was a proposition that didn't have possibilities of a sales climax and there never was a sales letter that didn't have a place for a clincher. If you can't give the reader something to sign, do the next easiest thing. Note, for example, the way the man 82 ELEMENTS OP THE LETTEE winds up who solicits my typewriter ribbons for re- inking : "A trial will convince you, and the sooner you send them the more you'll save. Why not press the button and have them packed up and shipped right nowf" A good climax is the antithesis of procrastination. It gets the reader in motion. It tells him what to do. It makes him reach for his pen, sign, seal and stamp his order and hike for the mail box. The clincher is the only kind of a close that makes a sales letter bring results. Give your man something to sign or at least give him something so easy to do that he can't help doing it. Tell him how and what to do and to do it today. Try it and you wiU find your sales letters picking up the shekels like a magnet. The Present Task PUT into every letter, every para- graph, your undivided and focused force. Concentrate your thought upon it, undiluted with the vporries of the past, unaffected by anticipations. Give each problem your best. Finish it — and then forget it. Part III HOW TO MAKE A LETTER TALK The Man to Man Message WRITING letters isn't reciting for- mulas nor conjuring with catch- words. It is talking on paper. Anyone can follow the old precedents of correspondence. Anyone can load letters with the useless phrases and expressions of antiquity. Anyone can string together custom-bound courtesies and convention- alities. But the man who jolts himself out of the rut, who puts things straight from the shoulder, who dares to be original — makes his letters pull. Don't stick to moss-grown usages of tradition. Be natural. Be live. Give your letter a man-to-man message to carry and watch the come-back m sales. Wfmfm \t CHAPTER XI News Value THERE is one impression that you want your letter invariably to give— you want it to appear as a "to- day" product, a strictly live, up-to-the-minute communi- cation from one man to another. And there is one way that you can give it this liveness better than any other — give it news value. What the world wants and has wanted since the be- ginning is news. The business world is no exception. If you can tell a man something new, particularly some- thing that has a relation to his business, you can get his attention and interest. Put the information into your letter, give it a sales twist and you can make of it a correspondence asset. News as used in sales correspondence is of two kinds. You can take some live public topic — a good piece of newspaper news that you know must be familiar to the man addressed, and give it an application that will boost your own goods. That's one brand of sales letter news and it makes your paper talk bristle with up-to- dateness. Or you can tell your prospect something that is pri- marily of interest to him and to you. Ordinarily such news is pretty close to your own proposition — it is news NEWS VALUE 85 that originates with you or with your trade, and it scores because when you approach a man tactfully about his business you touch a responsive chord. The sources of news that you can use are limited only by the keenness of your eyesight and ingenuity. The first kind you will naturally draw mostly from daily and trade publications. A "WATCH manufacturer, for example, used the idea when he wrote something like this : "One of the last things that Commodore Peary did before sailing on the expedition that found the Pole was to purchase a ■^°"^'* "^^""^ watch. Could you imagine a stronger testimonial to the- ^'^'^<^ ^ — as a perfect time keeper tinder all climatic conditions?" There is news, human interest, and an abundance of proof in a reference like that. It makes the letter live primarily, but it carries more conviction as to quality than could volumes of argument. News of this kind can be pressed into service by any man who sells his goods through letters. Here is the way a retailer with a clever turn of mind made use of a local disaster: "Dear Mr. Henderson: "No doiibt you read in the Journal Monday that the dwelling house of Mrs. Findlay, on Front Street, was de- stroyed iy fire. The fire was caused hy the explosion of a gasoline stove which Mrs. Findlay was using in her work. In attempting to extinguish the flames Mrs. Find- lay was badly burned on the face and hands. Every- thing she owned was destroyed and the loss will reach $2,000. "We simply want to say this: That if Mrs. Findlay had had a gas range this would not have happened. A 86 MAKING LETTERS TALK gas range is safer, and much cheaper than gasoline. Now is the time to buy your wife a gas range and make her work a pleasure, and her life secure." Aecoimts of injuries and deaths througli accidents can be used to good advantage in accident and life in- surance letters. Burglaries, particularly local ones, make strong appeals in letters from locksmiths, hardware dealers, burglary insurance men, bank and safe deposit men. News items regarding impure water can be made use of by the dealer iq filters. There are a thousand op- portunities for the retailer, or any other man to make his letters live. Notice how cleverly this man who wants to sell me a course in mail order work makes use of a subject that is on the public mind : "Congress will ultimately pass the Parcels Post bill and when it does more than five hundred firms will enter the Mail Order field within twenty-four hours. This statement was made recently by the editor of one of the leading newspapers in this country. When that day comes, and it is not far off, there will be in less than a week, more than a thousand positions open to men who have passed the examinations of this course. The mail order spirit is in the air — we can almost feel it. Are you the man to stand idly by and allow the oppor- tunity to learn this business to pass without finding out what the mail order busiyiess has in store for you?" ON THE other kind of news you will have to be your own reporter. After aU, it is simply a matter of telling your man something about your goods that is of newsy interest to him. It may be a new model you are putting on the market, a new service you can give the dealer or the user. Again it may be simply advice as to NEWS VALUE 87 coming fashions or a suggestion as to the best method of handling certain goods. If it is given the news turn it gets the interest. Here, for instance, is a newsy letter from a fork manu- facturer to a retailer. It is good because it gives him an idea that he probably has not thought of before and best of all, it has practical value: "Dear Mr. Dealer: "When business is slow, and you have some time on your hands one of these warm days, wouldn't it pay you to telephone every coal dealer in your town, and try to get his order for coal and coke forks? "Next season's supply of fuel will be largely delivered to residences during the remainder of the summer, and the haulers will need forks. "Here is our heavy goods catalog, showing all pat- terns and sizes. Please write us if your jobber cannot supply you with whatever you want." For the retailer who uses the mails to keep in touch with his customers or for the manufacturer or wholesaler following up his trade, this is the kind of news that counts most. You need not go far to find it. Pick it out of your every day work or your trade paper. Every housewife wants to know what the store has new that she can use. She is glad when a Montana grocer writes her this: "The first shipment of that delicious white plume celery arrived by express today from Kalamazoo, and although it came a long way, it is just as crisp and fresh as when it left the celery city. Just call up 72 and we'll send over as much as you want at ten cents a bunch." Advance notices of coming styles are especially good news items for the lady customer, and if she gets them in a letter she will be far more impressed with the store 88 MAKING LETTERS TALK that writes her than she ever would through reading them in its newspaper advertising. One store managed this matter very effectively by sending a list of names of lady customers to its Paris buyer and having style letters sent from there direct. The novelty of getting these personal letters from abroad combined with the actual news value brought results. WHAT you consider just common things may be news to other people. For instance, here is the way a laundry man makes news out of his methods of doing work: "Dear Mr. Norton: "You'll often find among your new laundered collars, some that are scratched or Mistered on the seam. (That is, unless we do your laundry work.) It is not a neces- sary evil, either. The explanation is simple. The seams of a douile-fold or wing point should be evenly damp- ened before folding. Otherwise it blisters or cracks. We have a machine to dampen those seams. It must dampen evenly, for it does it with mechanical precision. So you will get no cracked collars back from us. "Just step to the telephone and call up Main 427, and your laundry will be ready for use whenever you want it." And here is another letter that gets the idea, this from a bird fancier: "Dear Sir: ' ' We have just received a consignment of St. Andreas- berg Roller Canaries which we can offer you at the special price of $3.50. These birds are really a second grade of Golden Opera Singer. During their course of training some birds make mistakes — others take uo false NEWS VALUE 89 notes. We call such birds St. Andreasberg Boilers. They sing jiist as often as the first grade birds and they all sing at night, but each bird has some slight imperfection in his song." Now, personally, I have no possible use for a canary, but this man almost sold me a bird simply because, with what was news to me, he got me deeply interested. Just keep this matter of news value in mind when you run through the letters that come to your desk tomor- row. Although you may never have stopped to analyze it before you will find that the man who tells you some- thing new, the man that throws into his message some bit of live, up-to-now, information — that man gets your interest. Put the idea to use yourself. Tou will find news mak- ing your dull dry correspondence sparkling with life. You will find it giving new pulling power to letters that have been going to the discard. Human Interest THE great result is only the fusion of many small perfections. But all the right elements of a good letter make only conglomerate, unless they be fused in the fire of universal living. They fall short, until they touch the common ground of your day's work and mine. Y CHAPTER XII Personality OU may have a proposition that shouts for itself, a proposition that is the best yet, but if your sales- man has a colorless personality, you might as well shove the sample into the arms of a straw man for all the good such a pale individual will do. And it is the same in the sales letter. If you expect to magnetize your prospect's money you must put a per- sonal touch into your letters — ^hot egotism, but your own honest, personal conviction, interwoven so thorough- ly into your customer's personality that he feels you un- derstand him and that he understands you. This is the subtle effect of successful letter personality. It unties the wallet strings where the custom-made let- ter goes to the basket. It creates confidence where exag- geration and hot air breed distrust. It gets the business where the cold, serious, matter of fact communication falls on deaf ears. And this is true because the letter with a personality is "different." It stands out from its stereotyped companions like a strong man in a crowd. Letters that really have a personality are order getters because of the two elements that are woven into them — the man-to-man attitude and originality of thought and expression. And these elements are found in every part PERSONALITY 91 of the letter — salutation, body, close, signature and post- script. IT SHOULD be remembered, however, in this matter of approach, that sales letters are distinctly of two kinds — the unsolicited letter and the reply to an in- quiry. Li the first you must announce yourself and win your own audience; in the second you come at the buy- er's invitation. Naturally the first situation demands certain prelim- inaries — winning the reader's attention and interest — before you can get down to a "hard-as-nails" business proposition. In the other instance you can slide over the prelude and talk your proposition from the getaway. But even though you are approaching a man for the first time, there is no reason why you cannot take the man-to-man attitude. What you want is his interest and there is no surer way of getting it than talking to him about himself. Look at your proposition from his point of view. Talk about the things he is interested in. Talk to him in his own words, his phrases. Express your ideas as he would. Make your letter a personal talk, full of life and action. If you are trying to sell a man a pair of shoes, don't talk about your shoes until you have mentioned his. Take him to his own closet and drive home your shoe talk there. Note how this letter addressed by a book publisher to bankers, strikes out with a vitally interesting statement in the most conversational kind of a way: "Bear Mr. Brown: "As soon as I learned the other day that your hank was making special efforts to secure more depositors this 92 MAKING LETTBES TALK winter, I had the manager of our printing department get the enclosed proof for you. "It is really the most significant announcement that has been made to American bankers in years. And even though it is being printed in some of the big magazines, where you might see it, I am having this special proof sent to you direct so that no circumstance can deprive you of the opportunity it offers. "For here is a chance to secure — in complete, worked- out form — the exact, practical plan you need to double or triple your business." If you were a banker, would that letter get by you? It might, but I doubt it, for the moment you start to read that letter you must realize that someone is talking to you about a matter that is very important to you. NOTICE, too, how a carriage manufacturer gets your attention from the start when he writes this way: "Dear Mr. Smith: "I wonder how near your ideas and mine would agree in the selection of a buggy, and if a buggy that I would btiild for my own use would suit you. Every year I build a new buggy for myself — not because I xvear out a buggy in one year's time, but because I am always able to sell my last year's carriage to a liveryman here for as much as it cost me. "I built myself a new buggy this year, which was fin- ished a little over two weeks ago, and I used it just one day when a particular friend of mine offered me $5.00t more for it than the regular price, and I let him have it. "As this buggy took so well and everyone seemed to like it so much, I immediately arranged to get out a lim- ited number of special jobs under the same specifications, and they are now nearing completion. One I am aoinn PEESONALITY 93 to use myself, and I am going to give you an opportunity to get one of the others." Thus the proposition goes swinging along naturally to a close so strong that I must answer the letter if I am in the market for a carriage at all. He compels me to feel his interest in the proposition, excites my attention and inspires a quick appreciation of what he has to sell, by talking to me as if I were in his office. Of course, this man-to-man element of the letter must be qualified to suit the conditions of the prospect and the proposition. You wouldn't write to Bill Sikes, of Rising Sun, Nebraska, the same kind of a letter that you pre- pared for W. C. Chesterton of Boston. If Bill got W. C.'s letter, in which you spoke of his wife's elevation to the Co- lonial Dames, he would think you were "kidding" him. If W. C. got Bill's letter of coyotes and potato bugs, he would throw it in the waste basket with a shiver of lit- erary disgust. Put in the heart-to-heart element, but in every case, be sure that it is right. THE second element of the personality letter — unconventional expression— usually follows if the writer really establishes his man-to-man relationship. But there are certain divisions in the letter where posi- tive effort must be made to tear away from a slavish fol- lowing of custom. Particularly is this true when an inquiry solicits your reply. Get right into your proposition from the start and, as you hope and strive to be natural, avoid the old formalities. The average introduction with its ""We beg "and "Pur- suant to your request" is as useless as a third leg. Such expressions as "Inclosed herewith" take up the reader's time, detract from the main idea, and are absolutely 94 MAKING LETTERS TALK Use of vxym ovl figure Too general Directness entirely lacking No explana- tion or argument Offer not clear Weak close My dear Sir: Opportunity comes to a man's door only once. He auet ba prepared when It knocks at his door, and answer rsadj?; otherwise he Is largely a failurSj a drudge, trudging along dally on a tere pittance, awaiting the and, with no on© hut himself to bla.iie. He did not graep hie opportunity. Get out of the rut and Into a field of greater knowledge, and thus be prepared to coEaaand, yea even Insure a larger Income. Buslhesa B&on are ccm- Ing to recognlae the value of a better knowledge of existing conditions, of or- ganization and systematlsatlon. The factory expert may safoly without fear of contradiction be said to ba the Busi- ness Adviser of today. He assists in the organizing of a business, and nuch If not the greater part of the Euccees of the manufacturer muet be attributed to the wisdom and grasp of the busiaesa fore- sight of the aocountant. But It la no longer necessary for you to depend upon an outsider for help In organizing and conducting your business. Here la your opportunity to become an expert yourself at a nomlnsJ. cost, nil out youj? order and get our boqk Just published on "Factory Organ- ization". This bpok has been complete- ly rewritten giving you the latest and most up-to-date work extant. Our prospectus fully explains the scope of the work and qualifications of the writer. Any further information desired will be cheerfully given on re- quest. This is your only opportunity to take advantage of a special offering. Will you grasp it? Act at oncel Await- ing the courtesy of a reply, we are Very truly yours. Here is a letter that is full of generalitiep and so lacking in person- ality that it entirely misses the individual appeal. The proposition offered is not mentioned until the third paragraph and then in an in- cidental way. Note how the same book proposition is handled in the rewritten let- ter opposite — a letter as personal as a call over the phone. In this second sheet, proverbs and axioms are displaced by rgasQns-jjdi;^ the chance to buy is worth real,„ca^ to the particular reader every . hour of his factory day. He isoEfered a particular proved oppDT^ PERSONALITY 95 Exact place and date Extremely 'personal opening wins con- fidence Explana- tion Reason fof offer Argument Persua- sion and induce- ment Clincher ITr. Papa's Office, Tuaeday, January tenth. My dear Mr. Colby: Tills morning I rooelv«d from our printers Boms news that I feel cer- tain will be of Interest to you. And because I do feel that this Is a matter of unusual Importance I am writing today to you and a few more- of our warEiest^ and oldest friends, so that I may hear from ycu and have the benefit of your opinion before any public announcement Is made. I will receive from our print- ers Thursday a fo^ advance copies of C. P. Watson's "Factory Organization" - a business boolt that I honestly believe will save you more real dollars than any other book in print, TVs have lasued no printed nat- ter about "Factory Organisation." But even a volume of printed matter could not show you its value qq will the bool: It- self, So I want to send you the boolt. 1 do not expect you to buy It blindly. I nerely wemt you to look it over AT KY RISK and give ma your frank opinion of It. You woiad willingly risk e^ doz- en times $8.00 for a ainflle plan that would reduce your factory costs alone . Yet this book contains 22 money saving plans that will reduce expenses through- out your whole business - plana of hir- ing and handling employes - plans that' will check every leak and waste In your factory and office. And 1 do not ask you to risk one E in° '^l ? penny to secure them. Merely send for the book on approval. The $2.00 you forward will not be regarded as a remittance but as a deposit. And then. If an, v .sin ^e c h ap - ter alone la not worth $6,00 c s e h to you, I will not only send you my check for $2,00 but I will remit you In all $2.10 to pay you in addition for your postage and trouble in looking over the book. Merely pin a $2.00 bill to this letter mall tonight if possible - and use the envelope enolosed. Yours very truly. funitv, not general dissertation. This contrast illustrates the possi- bilities of the use of the personal element. 96 MAKING LETTERS TALK foolish. You might just as well attach stickers, saying inanely, "This is an envelope" and "This is a sheet of paper. ' ' If you asked a salesman for prices on his best hurdy- gurdy or what-not, it isn't likely that he would clear his throat, hitch up his trousers and launch into a seven- teenth century prelude. Not much. He would snap out something like this, and skirmish for a sale: "We have three styles of hurdy-gurdys, one at so much, another at this much, ' ' and so on. The salesman is interested in sales and so are you. "Why not take a lesson of him, then, and chop off the hackneyed preface? "What is the sense of obscuring the real issue by a lengthy prelude, useless apology, a request to write, or begging for per- mission to advise? Get down to brass tacks and catch your prospect's attention from the start. Note how this manufacturer goes straight to the point in his opening: "Dear Mr. Davis: "Your goods may leave the factory in the test of con- dition. But how do they reach their destination? Any freight house is likely to be over-crowded any day, and open platforms and wharves piled high with freight. Your goods are not favored— they are just as likely to le left outside as any. And a sudden rain may absolutely ruin them. "Why not insure your shipments against rain, snow, fog — against rust or warp or mildew. You can do it ab- solutely with Andrews' Waterproof Wrapping. "Andrews' Waterproof is made of just three things: heavy tough paper, perfect water-proofing and reinforc- ing cloth, giving extra toughness and strength. No matter how awkward or irregular the shape of your product, sharp corners or projections wUl not poke through. And PERSONALITY 97 your goods will reach their destination as dry and sound as when they left your shipping room." Like a good salesman, this writer launched into his subject without prelude or apology. ORIGINALITY of thought and expression is really shown in the body of the letter more than in the salutation and close, for there the opportunities are almost limitless. For instance, observe the stilted style of this tiresome long drawn-out sentence: "Our connections are such as to make it possible for you to place your order with us right here in the City, where we can show you the goods and demonstrate the efficiency of our cars, and we hope that just as soon as you receive the catalogue you will look it over carefully and make it a point to call at our sales room which is connected with our general offices, and give us an oppor- tunity to show you what our cars will do. And then turn to the refreshing ease of expression in this from a local tailor : "Do you know that Henry has been cutting clothes for some of Atlanta's best dressers for the last ten years and that many of our old customers run in from out of town just to get that perfection of fit that they knowi' only Henry can give them? This is just an indication of the confidence particular dressers have in our ability to give clothes comfort and satisfaction." Here the writer has even referred to his cutter by name. The ordinary writer, if he mentioned the cutter at all, would have spoken of him simply as an employee. BUT this is not aU there is to a letter. A writer who has injected personality into his salutation and halfway through his letter to end in some such trite 98 MAKING LETTERS TALK phrase as, "Hoping to hear from you by return mail, we are," is as bad as the correspondent who uses stereo- typed expressions throughout. Both blunt their effect on the prospect. The closing paragraph should force the prospect into action— not put him to sleep with such hackneyed ex- pressions as "trusting we shall hear from you" and "begging to remain." Such conventional baggage only loads down a letter and means nothing. The prospect knows that you "hope" for his business and "trust" he will answer your letter. If your communication demands a distinct close, say something new, typical of life, as, for instance : "Sign and mail the order now, before it slips your mind." "Just say the word and the samples are yours." "Can you afford to overlook this when it means dol- lars to you?" Millions of unread letters are tossed to the waste basket because they lack personality. From beginning to end they look alike. They "beg" this and "trust" that. It's "we do" and "You don't" until the reader is as bored as you are with your neighbor's one-record talking machine. Successful correspondents are learn- ing that hackneyed salutations and strained complimen- tary closes are lost on the prospect, that it is, above all the man-to-raan element — the ofiSee talk on paper that gets the orders. RESOLUTION to buy is a whetted razor ed^e. Don't overstrop it; don't hit it with a brick. When it's prime put it to work! CHAPTER XIII The "You" Element You would probably leap up in burning wratli if, tomorrow, you could see your sales letters kindling a hundred morning fires. At least you would want to know why your sales letters interest only the man who empties the waste basket. You might bring your cor- respondents to the carpet, you might quiz and you might threaten, but it is a ten-to-one shot that they couldn't answer when you were all through. If you are to solve the most perplexing and yet obvious fault of your sales letters, you must sit down and pick apart your paper salesmen. As you analyze your cor- respondence you will be impressed with one fact — ^that there is too much "we" in the beginning of the sales missive. If you push your investigation into the body of your letters, underscoring each "we" as you come to it, you will find that the writer has literally peppered his story with the objectionable word. There is the an- swer to your question. From beginning to end, the average letter consists of, "We" have "so and so" to offer; "We" contemplate this, and "We" intend to do that. But what do 7 care about what "We" do? How are my interests affected by a statement regarding "ours"'i The closest thing to 100 MAKING LETTERS TALK you, is "you." The never ending source of attraction and concern to me, is "me." And thus the correspondent kills a hearing because he begins talking about himself instead of "you." For example, a clothier writes me a letter: "We are show- ing the most attractive line of spring and summer wool- ens in the city. The cut of every garment is the latest and up-to-the-minute in style." NOW that kind of a letter hasn't told me what I wanted to know. The fact that they are showing the woolens doesn't particularly interest me. They may have the most attractive line in the city. What I care about is, what is in this for me ? How will it affect my bank roll? But if they had written: "Mr. Smith, you spend $15 more for a suit of clothes than you should. How can we prove it? By making you just as stylish and as wear- able a suit for $35 as you have teen paying $50 for. You will look better and feel better in the clothes, and at the same time you will be saving money." If they had said this — ah ! that would have been a dif- ferent matter. For here is a letter that gets as close to me as my own desk, that touches my pocketbook, my business heart. Again, a manufacturer writes me today: "We have perfected and are nQW prepared to supply our new, patent-lined, double-rimmed, rust-proof, excelsior gas burner — the peer of them all." When I receive that letter how does it affect my cost of production ? I hold no stock in the gas burner industry. He might as well announce the discovery of a new mud puddle on South Main Street so far as my interests are concerned. TnE "YOU" ELEMENT 101 But suppose he had said: "See here, Mr. Gas Burner, you spend $2.50 a month more for gas light than you should, and yet in spite of this waste you are not getting the brilliant illumination you are paying for. I can cut your gas bills in two, give you letter, clearer, brighter light, and save you $2.50 a month. And the whole out- lay to you will be simply the price of one of our new gas burners." Suppose the writer had said that ? It would have been somewhat different and I would have probably hurried to the mail box with a money order. Forget yourself and talk about the other man's profits, needs, desires. Look at your proposition from his point of view and he will readily see it from yours. DON'T begin your letter and every other sentence with "AVe." You may be the ruling power in your own world, but your reader doesn't know it. To himself he is the king of his own little kingdom. He has so many things to think about, he isn't interested in what you are doing. And yet he is the man you must get close to if you expect to get any of his money. He is interested only when he is sure of getting some money himself. I at once became alive to the proposition when I received this letter : "Mr. Retailer: "Why is it that you — the retailer — are compelled to lose more good hard cash through bad debts than any other man in business? "Every month you have to charge up to bad debts, scores of good fat accounts that dead-beats refuse to pay. Mrs. Jones puts you off; Mrs. Smith tells you to waitj and so it goes — season after season. You could almost 102 MAKING LETTERS TALK Formal — "our" stock "Our" styles "Our" oxfords "Our" guarantee "Our" catalogue Dear Sin- Accept our thanlce for yovar favor JuBt received. We are gleil of this oppor- tunity to forward you a catalog showing the 6t:/leB -which we carry in our Stock Hoom reedy for innedlate use. Of course It Is Inposslble to show all the styles which we make. The Illus- trations shown* elnply represent some of the season's best sellers as selected by the leading retailers from our two hundred end fifty styles designed by our selling force. Our shoes are correct In every sense of the word* Our oxfords possess super- ior fitting qualities. They do not gap at the ankle; they fit dose and do not slip at the heel I they are the coolest shoe for summer.' We have then In Green* Red» Tan, Black and Patent. Our Guarantee Is something that Is of vital Importance to you if you care to be assured of full value for your money spent . Ve can make for any style required If you fall to find Illustrated In our catalog Just the shoe you desire at the present time. We will forward the shoes prepaid upon receipt of your order with price and will strive to serve you In a most satisfactory manner. Yours very truly. Nothing robs a letter of directness so much as a lack of the "you" element. Here is an actual letter which illustrates particularly well an absence of direct appeal because of this fault. This man tries to sell a pair of shoes, not by talking about the pros- pect and his needs, tut about himself and his product. Note the prevalence o*' " our" and " we " in every paragraph. Half the words are mere machinery of this antique variety, through which " we ac- cept, are glad, make, strive," and so on. The real meat — the specific words that catch the eye — could be compressed into two short paragraphs. Then note how the same proposition is handled in the rewritten letter. The dealer comes over to the customer's side, just as a clever salesman would, and turns in to help him "get a fit." "That's right," he says; "a poor fit is a real calamity. What you want is this and this and this — and right here is a stock of shoes among which you'll find those verv things. So the entire letter shows an under- THE "YOU" ELEMENT 103 "Your" shoe troubles "Your" wants "Your" comfort assured "Your" wants supplied "Your" choice "Your" oppor- tunity grasped Dear Mr. Sheldoni What IB more uncomfortabl* and aggravating than an 111-flttlng shoe? Make up your mind that for once In your Ufa you win have a shoe that satisfies you to the smallest detail — a shoe that does not slip at the heel nor pinch at the toe, a shoe that will not wrlnhle or run over at the side. Make up your »lnd thst this time you will have a shoe that follows perfectly the lines of your foot, that from the very dey you ■first put It on, feels cool and comfort- able, and that will retain its trim and stylish E^ppearance under the test of wear. Dickson shoes combine the three featiires that you have been looklnf; for so long — style, comfort end wearing quality. They observe so closely the little points that give ease and comfort, that no "natter how particular you nay be, there Is a shoe sonewhere In our stock that is literally built for your foot. And yoa will be surprised to find how loD.g it will last. For Dickson shoes, whether of patent, gun metal or tan, are mede of the very best stock that leather science cah produce. The catalog you requested is goln^ to you today under separate cover. I want particularly to call your atten- tion to the new "Easy Last' style on .page 37. This may be Just what you were looking for. But it is only one of the 54 attractive styles you will find Illus- trated. Select the style and finish tTiat you like best, then simply till in on the order blank the nuipber, si£e and width you want, and mall to us today. If there are any little peciillarities about your foot, tell us about them. With this information to guide us we will send 'you, all charges prepaid the very day that your oraer Is received, a pair of shoes thst, will fit you perfectly. Do not miss this opportunity to obtalii real, genuine shoe comfort. Send your order at once — today. Yours very truly. standing of "your" shoe troubles and "your" needs, and offers the shoe it exploits as an article that will bring "you'' satisfaction. 104 MAKING LETTERS TALK start a new store with the money lost by local retailers through bad debts. "Now suppose we could tell you how to stop this; sup- pose we could tell you of a simple collection scheme used by one retailer down in Illinois that enabled him to make thirty of his hardest and slowest customers pay wp — penny for penny — the hundreds of dollars they owed him. Wouldn't you jump at the chance to get itf "Now, then, in the book described by the circular en- closed, you can get this very collection system; the sim- plest, most successful collection system ever devised — o system that does not require the assistance of an expen- sive collector; a system that you alone can operate, and the only expense is the cost of two or three two-cent stam.ps." That is the kind of a letter that jars money from my cash drawer. The guns of attractive argument and ef- fective salesmanship are leveled directly at me. I must either get out of the way or stand and take the shot. I buy because "you and your collections" has been the attitude of the letter. If this concern had pointed their letter shot somewhere up in the air of foreign interests, there would have been no reason why I should budge an inch, and I wouldn't. 1AM not interested in your proposition until you have shown some interest in my affairs. And you can never make me believe that you are really interested in me by everlastingly harping on we. A tire manufacturer answers my inquiry with this: "We have your favor of the fourteenth stating that you are interested in our advertisement on Wonder Tires. We are enclosing our Wonder booklet which illustrates and describes ow W"^der tread. We would be very THE "YOU" ELEMENT 105 glad to give you any further information and our best price. Trusting that you will insist on Wonder Tires, we are, yours very truly." Now I was interested in the advertisement, but is there one single reason in that "we" spotted letter why I should continue to be interested, why I should "insist" on having Wonder Tires? What I wanted from that manufacturer was tire talk that applied to me. His in- terest in the deal was obvious. It was mine that was essential to a sale. And that letter killed what little I had. Contrast it with this from a manufacturer who would sell me an engine: "You know what a nuisance it is to set out to equip a boat and find that you haven't got this and you haven't got that. Before you finish, it has cost a quarter or a third more than you figured on. "Customers have often asked us: 'What does your equipment include? Why don't you make it com- plete?' That's just what we're going to do from now on — we are going to 'put in everything.' And what's more we're going to pay the freight." That man is talking to me. He knows my boat trou- bles. He's talking to me in my own boat house, and I read on through his description and sales argument with an interest approaching fascination, because I feel from the first word that the writer of that letter understands my needs. TO BE a successful writer you must talk about your customer and his affairs. See that you get the word "you" in the opening sentence of your next letter. For example: "Tou can make a larger profit if you sell Duff's Mo- lasses, than if you don't. Your customers want Duff's 106 MAKING LETTERS TALK Molasses and they are going to get it somewhere. You can make big profits by getting in line early," and so on. The grocer is interested in this proposition because it offers to put money in his cash drawer. There is no more interesting proposition to him than that. When he reads this letter he must decide whether he will order and make good profits, or stand idly by while the other fel- low gathers in the benefits. And now when you have just about determined to in- ject some of the "you" element into your letters, culti- vate the ability to get over on the buyer's side and look at your proposition through his eyes. A good salesman never mentions the selling end of his game, he empha- sizes the buying point. You may think it selfish, but I repeat that the nearest subject to me is me. The ace-high theme with you is you. It is a human trait — as infallible as a physical law. Personal Good Will THE machine-finished sale is pass- ing. Buyers prefer to deal man to man. The successful dealer of the future must approach his sales, his let- ter writing problems, from the custom- er's side. It is not enough to collect today's profits, for your competitor is collecting tomorrow's good will. Part IV HANDLING COLLECTIONS AND COMPLAINTS Sell Satisfaction OUCCESS in selling doesn't simply ^ mean goods sold, it means customers satisfied. It means bills paid outside of court, and complaints handled on square deal prin- ciples. It means treating a man ajter you sell him as well as you do before. Irritating back talk and aggravating threats never got a good-will settlement nor brought back a disappointed customer; a " chip-on-the-shoulder ' attitude drives trade away. But courtesy, tact, open-minded fair- ness — disarm antagonism, melt opposi- tion, bring back business. Be fair. Aim to sell satisfaction, and your goods will sell themselves. CHAPTER XIV Collection Correspondence IT is one thing to induce a man to take something that he wants ; it is quite another to induce him to give up something that he wants. And therein you have the vital difference between the sales and the collection letter. True, both letters are built largely upon the same ele- ments of salesmanship. Just as in seUing a man an article, you win his interest in it, prove its qualities, per- suade him that he needs it and induce him to buy, so in selling a settlement of your account, you must interest him in a personal practice of the golden rule, prove the justice of your request or demand, persuade him that it is for his own good that he settle, and finally induce him to enclose the money he owes you and "mail today." Furthermore, a collection letter has just as many possi- bilities as the sales letter for those supplementary quali- ties that make talk on paper distinctive — personality, the "you" element — those intimate touches that get next to a man when mere formalities do little more than irri- tate and spur antagonism. Kecognizing this, collection managers are coming more and more to see the element of danger in a too strict adherence to the use of form letters. In the handling of a great many small accounts they are of course, an COLLECTING BY LETTER 109 economic necessity, but in a commercial business, at least, the man who is worth selling the first time, and whose trade is worth retaining, is certainly worth indi- vidual attention in the settlement of his bills. CLASSIFIED according to their maimer of treat- ment, collection accounts fall pretty strictly into two divisions: ordinary commercial accounts and instal- ment accounts ; and they should be considered separately Getting the right tone into commercial collection letters is largely a matter of getting the right viewpoint and the right perspective on what your customer's relation and his obligation to you really is. It is a mistake, in the first place, to look upon a just debt as anything but the strictest business obligation or to intimate in the slightest degree that you do not expect the debtor to pay it promptly. The merest suggestion that you consider it as any other than a straightforward business proposition will be eagerly grasped by the debtor with intent to evade. Furthermore, it is a mis- take to ask payment on any other ground than that it is justly due you in exchange for value received. Many correspondents make use of the argument that the firm is hard up. "We are going to be frank in telling you," wrote one wholesale house, "that we need the money. Ton are only one of a large number of our customers who are back on their accounts and unless you remit at least a part of what you owe us, we may find ourselves in embarrassing circumstances." The moment you write a man like that you let him know that you are in the same class that he is and you put a new excuse in his mouth that he may not have used 110 COLLECTIONS AND COMPLAINTS on you before. If you think it advisable to talk at all along this line, do it without losing your dignity. ON the other hand it is equally important that you consider the debtor first of all as a customer, that his friendly patronage be retained if it is possible to do so and that he be granted any reasonable extensions in time that he may ask. A customer's trade is valuable to you until he has shown by a persistent ignoring of your requests for settlement that he cannot or does not intend to voluntarily pay his biUs. Under those circumstances his business is not desirable to you in the future and you are perfectly justified in a more stem demand for settle- ment or in taking any legal steps that may seem nec- essary. Steering a middle course between these two principles — a business like consideration of the debt and endeavor to retain the customer's trade — ^the collection letter may be made as cordial and dignified a communication as any other kind of letter. Ordinarily four letters gradually increasing in urgency are sufficient to determine any debtor's position. When more than this niunber are used your efforts are spread over too much surface — ^you run out of ammunition be- fore you reach your climax. A furniture house which had fears of hurting its customer's feelings with too sudden a request for cash, got up a series of eleven collection letters. These letters increased in urgency from the first till the sixth, then became timid again in the seventh and eighth and not until the eleventh did the process reach the legal stage. Now the trouble with this scheme was that once the cus- tomer caught on to the game, he never had any more fear COLLECTING BY LETTER 111 Mr. Albart G. Green, Randolph, N. 0. Dear Mr. Green: You have been 80 busy making your pre- parations for the holiday trade, that you have doubtless overlooltBd the fact that your account with us Is somewhat overdue. You have settled your bills promptly In the past and we feel con- fident that this reminder will meet with an equally pronpt remittance In this Instance, How la the Venetian Toilet Soap selling? Many of our customers are finding this one of the best money-makers they have handled, not only be- cause of Its real merit, but because of the exten- sive advertising campaign which the manufacturers are carrying on. As you know, we can give you an unusually good profit on this soap and It should pay you well to pusli It during the holiday season. If you can use another gross of boxes we can ship them on the day ordered. With beet wishes for a good season. Very truly yours, Speer, Hammond ft Co. An example of a good first collection letter written by the corres- pondent of a commercial house to a customer who has fallen behind. Note how the selling talk introduced gives the letter a cordial, cour- teous tone that impresses the customer with his obligation and at tte same time lays a basis for more business. of those threatening fifth and sixth letters. He deliber- ately waited until the ninth or tenth had come and then paid his bill, sixty days credit to the good. THE first letter should be courteous in tone, calling the customer's attention to the fact that his account is somewhat overdue and requesting an early settlement. It is well to at least impress the customer with the fact that he has your confidence by mentioning that the bill 112 COLLECTIONS AND COSIPLAINTS » ^j has probably escaped his attention. Then, as if you had forgotten that this were a collection letter at all, follow with some good selling talk, some intimate inquiry about the things that interest you both. In short, show your man that you think of him primarily as one of the firm's valued friends. You will be surprised to find how a little supplementary talk of this kind will bring in the customer who really wants to be square. And you can well afford to be cordial, for at this stage his future business is still valu- able to you. Prom the average careless but honest delinquent, a let- ter like this will pull a partial if not a full payment of the account. Throughout it radiates only the good will of the house and from the man who intends to settle with- out difficulty it is certain to appeal because of its evident fair play. There is a chance, too, that it wiU pull business as well. THE customer's action in response to this letter will determine the whole nature of succeeding pro- cedure. If he responds at all the chances are that a cor- dial personally dictated second letter will save the trans- action any unpleasantness. Possibly without making settlement, he may order more goods. A Chicago silk house uses this situation as a lever and writes the customer in this manner : "Thank you for the order for lohich was received this morning. I was somewhat surprised however, to find that your letter made no mention of settlement of your last account, regarding which I tvrote you on the 10th. We appreciate the additional business you are giving us, but cannot very well allow the account to become any larger on our books. The goods you ordered are now be- ing prepared for shipment, and they will go forward COLLECTING BT LETTER 113 immediately upon receipt of check covering the earlier account." If no reply to a courteous first letter is forthcoming within a reasonable time, a second and more urgent letter should be sent. How severe this should be will depend upon the debtor's value to the house. If a customer of good reputation heretofore, he may still be brought around by your showing an intimate interest in a friendly adjustment of his relations, something after this manner : "You know from our letter of ten days ago that your account with us is now considerably past our usual limit. I feel that our former pleasant relations deserve at least an answer explaining why this matter has not been settled. "You have not sent us an order in over a month. Was there something wrong with the last shipment, or is there an error in our statement of your account? If there is any fault in our service you know that we consider it a favor to be told about it. "I shall await your reply with interest." If, however, your knowledge of the customer's previous actions leads you to believe that he is deliberately ignor- ing your request, it is better to omit the conciliatory ele- ment entirely and write a brief insistent request some- what after this style : "You have not favored us with a response to our letter of ten days ago asking an early settlement of the enclosed account, which is now considerably over-due. "Please give this your immediate attention." BEYOND the second letter in either case sales talk is worse than wasted. Not only is the customer who fails to notice two such requests worthless for future business, but a drawn out letter robs the request of 114 COLLECTIONS AND COIVIPLAINTS urgency. The third in the series therefore should be strictly a collection letter and should crystallize matters by setting a definite date on which settlement must be made. Here is a good form, for instance ; "You have entirely ignored our two previous requests for payment of your overdue account. We are conse- quently compelled to believe that you are purposely ne- glecting settlement. "We must now insist upon this account being paid by When no response is received from such a letter, a creditor is justified in taking any steps that may seem necessary to force payment. The next letter to the custo- mer should be little more than a notification of this. There is no need of explaining why you are placing the account in the hands of an attorney; that should be evident on the face of it. Write a note short and im- perative : "We have made three requests for payment of the en- closed account. Each one you have ignored. The account is long past due, and yet you have not even given us a reason why you have delayed payment. "We cannot carry this any longer and unless it is paid by we shall without further notice, turn it over to our attorneys for collection." MANY firms do not turn accounts over to an attorney until a collection agency has tried its methods on the debtor and failed. But if you do write a man that you will go to court, by all means, do it. In other words never put a threat into a collection letter that you do not intend to back up. Any debtor who doesn't make at least an effort to settle after three requests, should be handled without mincing matters. COLLECTING BY LBTTEE 115 COLLECTION letters on instalment accounts differ from commercial letters chiefly in that the purchase is a single transaction and there is frequently little probability of future business. For this reason the sales element is largely lacking. Eeason for settlement must run on two points — the buyer's honor and his obligation to abide by his contract. The prime aim is to prevent the debtor from getting behind in more than one instalment. When two remain unpaid, the account is doubly difficult to collect, and if three accumulate, some summary action or a "cash up" offer is almost absolutely necessary to make the account profitable. Because instalment propositions are usually sold to all buyers on a uniform basis of payment, form letters may be used far more extensively than in commercial work. In fact, debtors and their degrees of indebted- ness may be so classified that a series may be prepared which will meet almost every objection and apply to nearly every situation. One collection man has divided his accounts into four classes — ^those on which only the first payment has been made, those on which several but less than half have been made, those on which more than half have been made and those on which only a very small amount is still outstand- ing. For each class he has prepared a series of five let- ters and they have been so carefully developed through experience with instalment buyers that they are in the vast majority of instances as well suited as personally dictated letters. It is customary among houses doing an instalment business on a monthly basis not to begin a strictly collec- tion series until a second copy of the monthly statement, marked "Second Notice" has failed to bring a response. If fifteen days pass after this second notice without a 116 COLLECTIONS AND COMPLAINTS reply, a first letter should be sent calling the debtor's attention to the fact that the accomit has probably been overlooked and requesting immediate attention. It is not a bad plan to point out in this letter in a courteous way the importance of keeping these instalments paid up promptly. One house follows its request with a para- graph something like this : "Perhaps you have overlooked the fact that in signing this contract you agreed to send us a remittance regularly each month without fail, until your account has been paid in full. This, however, was the agreement and we have naturally planned on receiving the payments in this manner. "We feel certain that for your own convenience you will find it most satisfactory to adhere to this plan, for if you allow two or more instalments to accrue and are com^ pelled to send us the whole amount in one remittance, it may work hardship. We will appreciate it if you will settle the overdue payment at once and see that future instalments reach us promptly each month as they fall due." If a courteous letter like this does not bring at least a reply as to why the payment has not been made within ten or fifteen days, a second letter considerably more urgent in tone should be sent. BEYOND this stage, procedure should be guided by surrounding circumstances. The buyer who ap- pears at least to be perfectly honest and reliable should be given the benefit of the doubt and another courteous letter should be sent. One house writes to people of good standing in this manner: "We shoidd dislike very much to believe that this delay is due to other than oversight because you were so favor- ably recommended to us by your bank. Still if a remit- COLLECTING BY LETTER 117 tance is not received within a very few days, we shall have no alternative." When such a letter gets no action, there is only one alternative left open — to start procedure toward imme- diate collection of the whole amount that still remains due on the purchase. There are two ways in which this may be approached. Either the customer may be given a "cash up" induce- ment, that is, a discount or some additional article free for an immediate settlement; or the account may be turned over to an agency or attorney. The cash up is always preferable, because it offers a chance to bring in the money at once and also to retain the good will of the buyer. "I am going to make one more effort," writes one col- lector for a publishing house, "to reach an amicable agree- ment with you. If you will send me at once a check cover- ing the balance due on your account with us, I will send you at absolutely no expense to you and as evidence of my appreciation of your fulfilling your part of the contract without unpleasantness, a copy of Wood's "Commercial Law," a volume which every business main should have upon his desk. Only an exceptional combination of cir- cumstances enables me to do this and we 'have only a few copies of the book available. If you wish to take advan- tage of this offer, you should let me hear from you at once. Simply enclose your check with this letter and mail today." If your delinquent accepts this offer, well and good. If he does not, your only open road is to go to court. THERE are many instances of course, in which neither the "cash up" nor the court is feasible, because the amount remaining due is so small that it will not war- rant the cost of either. In such cases, clever, personal 118 COLLECTIONS AND COIVIPLAINTS appeal may do the business. Supposing of course that the debt is a just one, there is still a chance to touch the man 's sense of respect for the square deal. Remember always that most men want to pay their debts, and do not consider any man dishonest until he has proven himself so. Do not resort to threats or severity until conditions absolutely demand them. The debtor who has been harried and aggravated by the ordinary "give me my money" letter will have a pleasant surprise if you first show him a personal understanding of his case. And your cordial willingness to be reasonable will get your money while the man who flies to early threats waits for his. The Deceptive Aggregate A DELINQUENT file of five hun- dred follow-ups — a Monday morn- ing stack of two dozen complaints — makes up an aggregate of petty evasion — of unreasonable demands — that looms large to the desk man. But the debtor — the complainant — never sees that aggregate. Sarcasm aimed at it will puzzle and anger him. His need, his shortage, his annoyance, are what occupy his mind. The letter that pulls must take his view, talk from his side, show under- standing of his trouble; and thus arouse his spirit of fairness. CHAPTER XV How to Answer Complaints IF your customers are worth having, they are worth satisfying and if your goods are worth selling, it is worth your while to demonstrate that fact to your cus- tomers, even after they have bought your offerings and you have their money. No legitimate business trans- action is really completed until the customer is satisfied with his purchase. A satisfied old customer often repre- sents more potential business than a bookful of untried prospects. If you have given him a square deal, he never stops saying good things about your business ; but if you have left him dissatisfied, he never stops driving it away. And it is not such a hard matter to show a man that you have given him at least all you have agreed to give him, if you go about it in a courteous, tactful way. Most people have more than a spark of reasonableness in them and an ability to recognize a fair proposition when they see it. If they haven't, they haven't the possibilities of being good customers and no concession, however gener- ous, would ever satisfy them. Good answers to complaints, like good collection letters, are largely a matter of attitude. There is no use assum- ing a high and mighty position and trying to make all your customers conform to your ideas of what a square 120 COLLECTIONS AND COMPLAINTS deal is. It is better to assume a fair but open minded position and then show each complainant that he really sees things as you do after all. Neither is there anything to be gained by allowing yourself to become aroused over anything that a man with a kick may write you. For back talk simply aggravates the customer instead of pacifying him and leaves the grievance farther from settlement than it was before. And what is more you ought not to give the unreasonable kicker the satisfaction of knowing that he has stirred your temper. ONE thing, do not be too suspicious of every com- plaint that comes over your desk. Remember that when the customer wrote his letter, he believed he had eaiise for doing so, and that the chances are he did have. Remember that most people want to be square with you, that most people are honest, and that by far the greater share of the complaints you get have a real cause at bottom. The fault may not be yours, but that is no reason why you should snap up a man for telling you about it. If you are not to blame, the proper thing to do is to find out where the trouble lies, and help the customer to straighten out the difficulty. And even though a man seems to have no cause for complaint, be just as good natured about showing him where he is wrong as you would if he had a real grievance against you. Everyone else feels about the same as you do when you get a complaint that appears unjust and un- warranted. Your first impatience prompts you to say to yourself: "Oh, I'll show this fellow. I'll let him know that he can 't talk that way to me. I '11 write biTn a letter that he won't forget in a month." ANSWERING COMPLAINTS 121 And suppose you do. He gets the letter, reads it, lays you out good and plenty to everyone within hearing dis- tance and fires back your goods. And the remotest chance of ever making a good customer out of him is gone. But suppose you say to yourself when you get a letter like that : ' ' Now, if this man knew as much about busi- ness as I do he wouldn't make a complaint like this. He writes this way either because he's ignorant of propriety and business courtesy or because he doesn't realize that mistakes will happen in the best regulated businesses. So I'll write him a letter that will wake him up, maybe, to what a business transaction really is. And I'll do it by giving him an example of cordial business courtesy." Then just carry out that idea, and you'll not only feel better about it yourself, but the chances are your atti- tude win bring back a customer who was ready to slip away at the slightest further provocation. ALL genuine complaints can pretty nearly be traced down to two sources: real grievances and misun- derstandings, the latter often due to ignorance of business methods or requirements. In either case it is up to you to settle the complaint satisfactorily and retain the good will of the customer. And to do this, there are certain points that you must invariably consider. In the first place, answer promptly. An immediate reply goes a long way toward impressing a man with your sincere desire to see him satisfied. If he isn't specific enough in his complaint to enable you to answer fully, write at once for further information. If it is going to take you several days to investigate, write him first and tell him what you are doing. Every day that a complaint hangs over it becomes increasingly hard to 122 COLLECTIONS AND COMPLAINTS handle, while quick attention will preclude many possi- bilities of future unpleasantness. Second, take the complaint seriously. For instance, if a man orders twenty reams of paper from you and on receipt of it writes that it is not like the sample he ordered from, don't say: "Dear Sir: Your eyesight must le going hack on you. The paper you ordered is certainly identically the same stock as the sample you named. Take it to the window and look again." If you do that you not only insult his intelligence but you may be getting yourself in bad for there's just a chance that a mistake was made in the stock or shipping room and that the customer is rightr- Better write him something like this : "Dear Mr. Blake: We are surprised to learn that the Golden bond does not seem to match exactly the sample from which you ordered. Coidd you by any chance have gotten this confused with Gordon bond which is right next to it in the sample book? These two lines are very similar in finish and the fact that there is also a similarity in the names has given rise to errors of this kind once or twice before. I wish you would refer to the book and see whether this might be the cause of the discrepancy. "If it is not and you will send us a sample of the order you received, we will have the trouble looked up here im- mediately. We are always very careful to check over out- going stock and see that it is just what is ordered, but we realize that an error might have been made somewhere in the process of packing and shipping and we wUl be more than glad to correct it." See the difference ? That not only protects you but it shows the man your serious interest in putting matters right. ANSWERING COIVIPLAINTS 123 THE next vitally important point is that you take the customer's viewpoint. Look at the trouble through his eyes. Just as in a sales letter you can win a prospect's confidence by opening with a statement that he recognizes as a matter of fact and then from that point gradually leading him to your proposition, so in answer- ing a complaint, you can start out by agreeing with him and gradually lead him around to your way of looking at the question. If you don't — if you state your position first and try to drag him to it, you are sure to antagonize. A publisher sold a business book to a clerk in a railway office and the young man on receiving it complained that while the volume might be all right for a man in an established business, it was of no practical value to him. Now the publisher might have answered that young man after this fashion : "Dear Sir: Don't think that because the hook seems of no use to you, we are going to take it hack and refund your money. You certainly understood the na- ture of this hook hefore you ordered it and if you didn't want it, that was the time to say so instead of now after we have gone to the expense of sending it to you and after the deal is closed. Under the circumstances, we cannot take the hook hack." Understand that's what he might have said because that's just the tone in which many a complaint is an- swered every day. But he actually wrote the young man in this manner : "Dear Mr. Gimhel: I helieve I understand perfectly just how you feel about the book. You feel that because your position is a detail one, because your work is limited in its scope, the hook is too comprehensive to help you very much just now. And that would seem, at first thought, a very just objection. 124 COLLECTIONS AND COMPLAINTS Century Tailoring Company, Indlanapolle, Ind. Gentlemen! The ault which you juat aent us for Mr. B. F. Dickinson has arrived In bad condition. Th» rlower part of one trouaer leg la badly scorched. This waa undoubtedly done by the ;Han who finished and pressed the 'suit. It le Inpoaelblft for us to alter or remedy this In any way, eo we are returning the trousers to you by today's express and would ask that you Immediately replace them, aa Mr. Dickinson Is an old and valued customer and this delay la seriously Inconveniencing hln. Very truly yours, Henry T, Bridges, We have your letter of the 26th and have oarefully exajulned the trousers which you have returned. After examination we can confidently say that it la Impossible for the trousers to have beem dEunaged In the way you suggest. We employ elec- tric Irons for all our pressing and they are scien- tifically heated so that they never reach a temper- ature hot enough to scorch the surface of the moat delicate material. The iron may even be left In one position for a long time without scorching the cloth In the slightest degree. The trousers were undoubtedly damaged in the shop of your local tailor where you aent them to be pressed, aa It Is a oomparatively easy mat- ter to scorch a fabric with the old fashioned tailor's goose. While we feel that we are in no way re- sponsible, we have nevertheless decided to replace the trousers with a new pair. These will be ship- ped to you Thursday. Trusting that they arrive without delay and promising you that this will not happen again, we are Yours vary truly. These three letters are an excellent example of how trade may be lost through untactful handling of a complaint and how it may be saved when skill and care are used. The first letter was sent by a ANSWERING COMPLAINTS 125 Dear Mr. Brldgesi It seems that those very orders on which we are most anxious to please are the ones on which the annoying little accidents occur. We were keenly desirous of giving Mr. Dlcltlnson a suit he would feel proud of. He has not only been a good and valued customer of yours, but thlni of the suits he has ordered through you from us. We are totally at a loss to understand how this accident could have happened. But why try to explain It? The time wo would spend Investigating* we have spent In rushing through the pair of trousers to replace the pair you returned. We will got these to you by express Wed- nesday. Please apologlise to Mr. Dlcl^lnson for us end malie the apology as sincere as we would do were we on the ground. In closing we can only assure you that we will be doubly careful. Very truly youre, local agent for "made-to-order" clothes to the house he represented. It was to his mind at least, a just complaint. But observe how a correspondent at the house answered it. By arguing with the man, and attempting to show him how impos- sible it was for such an accident to occur in the firm's shop, he vir- tually accuses the dealer of covering a blunder of his own. Then fol- lowing all this, though still protesting the firm's non-responsibility, he admits that they are complying with the request and sending a new pair of trousers. And even more unpardonable, he says in the closing paragraph "promising that this will not occur again," which practically admits the fault to be the firm's after all. Is it any won- der that the dealer, who had long been a good and profitable cus- tomer, decided at once to place another firm's sample book on his counter ? But suppose the complaint had been answered in the manner sug- gested in the third letter. Here the writer immediately concedes the justice of the man's complaint, expresses sincere regret and without the suggestion of protestation or argument, shows a co-operative spirit by rushing the new trousers to him. Even though the house may not have been at fault, it recognizes here the value of the dealer's and the customer's patronage and friendship. Such a letter would doubtless have meant many a dollar to the firm. 126 COLLECTIONS AND COMPLAINTS But in reality, because your work is limited now, and because the book is comprehensive, aren't you that very man the book will help most? "Every man wants to get out of the rut, to grow, to develop into something better. Yet who is the man who wins promotion? Is it the clerk whose work is limited to his own routine of details? No, it is the man who knows not only his own work, but that of the man above him. And that is just what this book will enable you to learn. For it gives you the experiences of the most successful men in the country, it describes in detail their methods and the results." And so it ran on, showing the customer exactly how he could put the hook to profitable use. Now in reply to either of those letters the young man would have kept the book; but in the first instance he would have kept it because he had to, in the second he did keep it because he wanted to. And that is the differ- ence between the effect of a poor complaint letter and a good one. ANOTHER vitally important point — do not argue with anybody. If the customer is in the wrong, show him courteously where he is wrong, but explain, do not argue. If a customer writes you that goods he ordered of you to be sent by express two weeks before, have not been received and that he doubts whether you ever sent them, don't reply by saying: "// the goods you ordered have not reached you, it is certainly due to no fault of ours. We sent them promptly and hold the express re- ceipt to prove it. You should know that goods are often lost by the express companies even though the greatest care is shown in preparing them for shipment. Under the circumstances, we think you are hardly warranted in ANSWERING COlilPLAINTS 127 accusing us of not having sent them. When we say a thing you may depend upon it. If you doubt our re- sponsibility or standing, you may write to the First Na- tional Bank of this city or look ms up in Bun's or Brad- street's. "However, inasmuch as you say you did not get the goods, we are duplicating the order and would ask you to notify us if the first order shows up." This letter, which is typical of many that go through the mails every day, illustrates not only the bad policy of arguing with your man, but also the mistaie of first antagonizing him and giving him "insulted injury" back talk and then in the end granting him what he asks. If you are going to concede the justice of his complaint at all or if you are going to grant him his claim simply as a favor, do it cheerfully and make the customer realize that you are giving him more than what is justly coming to him. Write to this man whose goods have not reached him, something in this style : "Dear Mr. Chapman: You are certainly justified in complaining over not having received the goods you or- dered by express fully two weeks ago. You have been very considerate in waiting so long, and we appreciate fully how you feel about the matter now. "It seems to us that there can be no question that the fault lies with the express company. The express receipt we hold shows that the goods were received by them in good condition the very day your order reached us. We knew you were in urgent need of this stock and we made a special request for quick service in selecting and pack- ing it. "As your experience has probably shown you, many concerns hold that their responsibility ceases the moment 128 COLLECTIONS AND COMPLAINTS the goods are turned over to the express company. How- ever, we always consider the interests of our customer as more important than a technical privilege of this kind and we never consider a transaction closed until the goods are received and found to be entirely satisfactory. "So we are having a duplicate shipment packed and forwarded to you today. We are confident that these goods will reach you almost as soon as this letter, and in perfect condition. "The matter of delay in the previoxis shipment we shall take up with the express company at once and shall have them trace the goods. In the meantime, should they chance to reach you we will thank you to return them to us, charges collect." There you have an answer that not only satisfies the customer in every point, but it is bound to make him real- ize that you are more than fair, and the incidental talk about your service gives the letter a little sales value that the customer isn't likely to forget. POSSIBLY the best way to get the right attitude in answering a complaint is to stop and consider how you would handle the customer if he came personally into your office. Certainly you wouldn't pick a quarrel with him, you wouldn 't let yourself be other than court- eous and polite throughout his call. And you would take him all through the house if necessary just to demonstrate how sincerely desirous the firm was of giving him a square deal. Remember that the next time you answer a complaint. Picture the customer beside your desk. Then talk to him. You'll find your old time itch to be vindictive gradually disappearing and the results vastly more satisfactory to you and the customer alike.