CORNELL UNIVERSITY LIBRARY Cornell University Library PR 6005.R59M6 Mr. Hopkinson, an original farce in three 3 1924 013 602 622 Cornell University Library The original of tinis book is in tine Cornell University Library. There are no known copyright restrictions in the United States on the use of the text. http://www.archive.org/details/cu31924013602622 MR. HOPKINSON THE PLAYS OF ALFRED SUTRO. Paper, acting edition, is. 6d. net. Clotli, Library Edition, 2S. 6d, net. The FASCINATING Mr. VANDERVELDT A COMEDY JN FOUR ACTS. THE BARRIER, (ciothomy.) A PLA Y IN FO UR A CTS. CAVE OF ILLUSION. (Uoth oaiy.) A PLAY IN FOUR ACTS. JOHN GLAYDES HONOUR, (ciothoniy.) A PLAY IN FOUR ACTS. MOLLENTRAVE ON WOMEN. A COMEDY IN THREE ACTS. THE PERFECT LOVER. A PLAY IN FOUR ACTS. THE WALLS OF JERICHO. A PLAY IN FOUR ACTS. The following- One-Act Plays at 6d. each. CARROTS. THE CORRECT THING. ELLA'S APOLOGY. A GAME OF CHESS. THE GUTTER OF TIME. A MAKER OF MEN. THE MAN ON THE KERB. A MARRIAGE HAS BEEN ARRANGED THE OPEN DOOR. MR. STEINMANNS CORNER. THE SALT OF LIFE. MR. HOPKINSON an ©riginal ffarce in Ubree Bets R. C. CARTON V^^i^^ (t\.AuJi& <^rci-tU«4f Copyright, 1908, by R. C. Carion London SAMUEL FRENCH, Ltd. 26 Southampton Street, STRAND New York SAMUEL FRENCH PUBLISHER 24 WEST 22D STREET The Amateur Fee for the representation of this play is Five Guineas, payable in advance to:— MESSRS. SAMUEL FRENCH, LTD., 26, SOUTHAMPTON STREET, STRAND, LONDON, Or their authorised agents. No performance may take place unless a written permission has first been obtained. All the Costumes, Wigs, and Properties used in this Play may be hired or purchased reasonably from 0. H. Fox, Ltd., 27, Wellington Street, Strand, London. Cbaracters, Produced at the Avenue Theatre, London, on February 21, 1906, with the following east : ME. HOPKINSON Duke of Bkacebokough Mr. Fred. Kerr Earl of Addleton (his brother- in-law Mr. Henry Kemble Hon. Otho Duesingham Mr. W. Graham Brown Lord Gawthorpe Mr. Athol Stuart Mr. Smethtjkst (Duke op Brace- borough's lawyer) Mr. Chas. Allan Parbury (Duke of Braceboe- OUGh's butler) Mr. Herbert Druce BLissET (Earl op Addleton's valet) Mr. Henry Stephenson Samuel Hopkinson Mr. James Welch Duchess of Braceborough Miss Compton Lady Thyra Egglesby (Earl op Addleton's daughter) Miss Ellen O'Malley Eliza Dibb Miss Annie Hughes SCENE. ACTS I. AND II. Winter Garden in Duke of Braceborough's Town House. ACT III. Library in Duke of Braceborough's Town House. There is an interval of 6 months between Acts I. and H. and one night between Acts IL and III. 3 PROPERTY PLOT. property plot. ACT I. Winter Garden of the Duke's House. FANCY WICKER FURNITURE. 3 Wicker Tables. 2 Square and 1 round. 3 Easy Chairs, wicker. Chesterfield Couch and 3 cushions. " Hopkinson " Chair, C. 6 Large Palms. 6 Moorish Stools for same. 4 Pairs of Light Curtains for Openings. Small Chippendale Cabinet in Recess L. Settle " " B. 2 Cigarette Boxes. 2 Glass Match Stands. 2 Ash Ti-ays. Blotting Pad, Ink Stand, etc., on Table C 6 Illustrated Papers on Table R. Telegraph Forms " " C. 2 Moorish Lanterns. Bell Push, L. ACT II. SAME SCENE. 2 Small Coffee Cups and Saucers on Salver off L. U. E. Letters for Duchess. " Globe " Newspaper on Salver, off L. U. E. Cheque Book for " Hopkinson." Electro-plated tea-tray. ACT III. THE duke's LIBRAET. Handsome Dark Oak Furniture. Carpet down over stage. PROPERTY PLOT. 5 Carpet Square down. Large Oak Table up C. (5 x 3) filled with wedding presents. Small Oak Table down R. Grandfather's Arm-chair. 6 High-backed Chairs. 3 Arm-chairs. 3-Seat Ottoman. Dark Red Curtains for window. Fireplace R. Club Fender, Dogs and Fire-irons. 4 Old Oil-paintings. Large handsome Clock. 4 Blue and White China Ornaments for Mantel-piece. "Times" Newspaper for Duke. Illustrated paper for Dursingham. Small Black Bag containing two deeds and letter. Bracelet, Locket, Mug and bundle of letters for Bliss. Jewel Case for Hoppy. Letters for Duke. 3 Palms in window R. 6 Rugs. 3 Cheque Books. Bell push on fireplace. Plenty of Electro-plated Stuff to represent Wedding Presents. ACT I. ELECTEIC AND LIMES. Floats, ) Pull up. Amber & White. Battens, ) 8 White Lengths to Openings and Doors. 3 Moorish Lanterns. Bell Push. L. ACT II. SAME SCENE. Full up, same as Act 1. 3 Lanterns to be lighted. 6 PROPERTY PLOT. ACT III. Full up. White lengths to Doors. Fireplace lighted. ACT I. LIMES. Pale Amber from Perches. 2 White Limes behind Transparency R,, Colours Re- quired, Pale Amber, Oak Amber and Red, ACT II. Pale Amber from Perches. 2 Deep Blue Limes behind Transparency. ACT III. Pale Amber from Perches. 2 White Limes behind Window R. MR. HOPKINSON. ACT I. {Winter garden in the London house of the Duke OF Beaceboeough. Scene, according to plan. It is afternoon, when the curtain rises, and Lady Thyea Egglesby and Lord Gawthorpe are discovered. He is sitting. She is strolling ahout.) Thyra. (at table r. Pausing for a moment) You can't see your way? Gawthorpe. (ore sofa e. c. Leisurely light- ing a cigarette) Afraid not. Thyea. I think you're wrong — ^we should hit it off extraordinary well, (moves to back of sofa E.) Gawthorpe. That isn't the point. Thyea. You know I suit you. Gawthoepe. Yes. Thyea. You know you suit me. Gawthoepe. I've never doubted that. Fact is, my dear old girl, considering how busy I am just now, I've thought about you to an appalling ex- tent. Thyea. (sitting by Mm) Not really? Gawthorpe. (steady) Oh yes — I've given a lot of time to you one way and another. 7 8 ME. HOPKINSON. Thyra. Awfully decent of you. Gawthorpe. Oh no — (hands cigarette case to tier) — but it comes to this, you must marry. Thyra. If 1 haven't married, it's your fault. Gawthorpe. Oh no — come. Thyra. I've been out three seasons, and I've had a very fair sprinkling of offers. Gawthorpe. Very fair indeed. Thyra. But, on the whole, you and I didn't think any of 'em would do. Gawthorpe. No, we didn't, but I'm not cer- tain we were wise in chucking Ribbledene. Thyra. Lord Ribbledene! Musty old beast. (lights a cigarette) Gawthorpe. Yes — but he goes in heavily for Egyptology — and does his chipping and burrow- ing on the spot — he'd have been abroad a good bit — (slight pause) — we were hasty over Ribble- dene. You see the present state of things is rather rough on the Duchess. She has trotted you about for three years with nothing to show for it. Thyra. I don't fancy Auntie minds. Gawthorpe. Perhaps not — she's a dear thing. I've sometimes thought of getting her to chaper- one me for a bit. Thyra. It wouldn't be fair to Otho Dursing- ham — live and let live. Gawthorpe. Then, there's the Duke. Thyra. Uncle doesn't count. Gawthorpe. I suppose he doesn't. Thyra. Auntie runs the lot of us — you see — I never had a mother that I can remember — so, when the Governor took over the Embassy at Madrid, he handed me to Auntie to do the best she could with. Just before he started, he said he was too old a traveller to carry any unneces- sary luggage — he said luggage, but he looked at me, and I think he meant baggage. Auntie gave MR. HOPKINSON. » me a clinking good start — but I've rather hung on hand. Gawthorpe. My doing? Thyra. Pretty much. Gawthokpe. I know — we must — (rises and crosses l.) — pull ourselves together and be sensi- ble. Thyra. (rises) I suppose — it really wouldn't — square with your notions to marry me yourself — (pause — He turns and looks at her) Gawthorpe. My dear child, I've lived with myself for thirty (c.) years, so I can safely say that, if I hated the sight of a woman, I wouldn't play her such a dirty trick as to marry her to my old friend. Lord Gawthorpe — (sits r. of taile l.) — and I don't hate the sight of you. Thyra. (again leaning against him) Don't you? Gawthorpe. Steady! No — I'm sorry to say I don't. Thyra. Then, let's muddle along as we are. (going up c.) Gawthorpe. No, as I said before — it isn't fair to the Duchess — she's been a wonderful pal to me — and for no particular reason — I've known her ever since the old days when I was at Oxford,, and I never even made love to her. Thyra. Why didn't you? (up c) Gawthorpe. Oh well, we're both rather busy people. She must feel I'm keeping you back — and that isn't cricket, so there mustn't be any- more early morning rides, (rises and crosses to sofa R.) — tea shop appointments — and all that — you must take the next decent offer that comes along, (kneeling on sofa) Thyra. Very well — ^but I shall hate it. (be- hind sofa R.) Gawthorpe. So far as that goes, so shall I. 10 MR. HOPKINSON. Thyra. (eagerly putting her hand on his shoulder) Will you, dear old fellow? Gawthorpe. Steady! Steady! Do remember you're not on your own yet. (rises) Thyra. I'll try. (puts cigarette on table R.) (The Duke comes in, h. u. e.) Gawthorpe. (crosses up c.) That's better — I must be getting along — Hulloa Duke! The Duke. How are you, Gawthorpe? Ah, Thyra! (to Gawthorpe) Didn't see you at Ascot. Gawthorpe. Oh Lord no — couldn't manage it — been settling up over my last legal flutter — The Duke, (up c.) That little divorce busi- ness? Gawthorpe. Yes — just got the lawyer's bill. The Duke. I can sympathize — 1 should tax it to the last comma, (at table up c.) (Thyra is looking at paper on table e.) Gawthorpe. I mean to — but if anything of the sort ever crops up for me again, I shan't defend — it's throwing good money away. Did you stay down the whole week? (moves to back of table L.) The Duke. Practically, (up c.) Gawthrope. At the Wentworth Daubeney's, I suppose? The Duke. Er — yes — they were good enough to find me a corner — there were some very agree- able people there — and they all did their best to make it pleasant for me. Gawthorpe. Including Mrs. Daubeney — What? The Duke. Quite so. Gawthorpe. Wentworth Daubeney was there too, you said. MR. HOPKINSON. 11 The Duke. Yes — Daubeney was there — inci- . dentally. Gawthorpe. Duke, it's a good thing my moral character is so firmly established, or I couldn't afford to see much of you. (Thyra laughs.) The Duke. Too bad — too bad really — (moves down c.) Thyra, don't laugh. You should wait till you're married, before seeing a joke of that description. Gawthorpe. (going up l. c.) I've just been saying the same kind of thing to her. Good bye — old girl, mind what I said to you — Good bye, Duke. Do we meet to-night? The Duke. Er — where would that be? (goes up with HIM) Gawthorpe. (up c.) At the Cecil — the Duch- ess is giving some of us a bit of dinner. The Duke. Is she? No, I'm afraid I can't manage it — I'm sorry — the Duchess does these little things so well. Gawthorpe. Yes, she doesn't poison you — especially when Dursingham is there to keep an eye on the wine list. The Duke. Fortunately, she can usually rely on his co-operation — ■ (They laugh.) Good-bye. (Gawthorpe nods carelessly and goes out.) ( The Duke pauses a moment in thought and then strolls over to Thyra.) The Duke. Delightful chap, our friend Gaw- thorpe — (Thyra nods.) He said something about having given you a little advice, (puts iUls on table c.) 12 MR. HOPKINSON. TiiYRA. He's given me a lot. The Duke. Really! (sits) As to what? {sits on sofa (e., up end) Thyra. He says it's time I found some un- fortunate suitable man, and dragged him up the aisle of St. George's. The Duke. Very considerate of Gawthorpe. Thyra. (Bac/c of sofa r.) He says — or im- plies, that if I don't watch it, I shall get left — and that I'm not doing Auntie much credit. The Duke. Ah! Thyra. He also seems to think that he and I have been seen about too much together — that, in a general way, it checks the growth of orange blossoms. The Duke. Ah! well now, Thyra, as you know, I interfere in family matters, as seldom as possible. I leave all that to the Duchess, but, speaking in a friendly way, I really think you should listen to Gawthorpe. Thyra. All right. If Auntie can get a bird to rise inside my range, I'll do my best to wing it ^but I'm not a particularly good shot. The Duke, (rises) Nothing could be fairer than that — I'll tell her — she must beat up a new covert or two — I wouldn't intrude a single sug- gestion that might have the aspect of selfishness, but, if you could — er — aim straight this time, it would be a great convenience to me. Thyra. How's that? The Duke. I have heard from your father — at least Smethurst has heard from him. He al- ways communicates through Smethurst, when he wants to be more than usually offensive. He deals with certain legal matters which I needn't touch upon — and he finally mentions you. Thyra. What have I done? (moves to front of sofa and sits) The Duke, Nothing — that is what he com- MR. HOPKINSON. 13 plains of. He is apparently most indignant that we haven't found you an eligible archangel with a heavy rent roll, and a blameless past. The last item reminds me that he has the infernal assur- ance—excuse me, Thyra — Thyra. Not at all. The Duke, (c.) The assurance to object to the inclusion of Gawthorpe among our friends — Thyra. Oh, does he? The Duke, (c.) Gawthorpe! One of the few modern fellows I thoroughly like — and, if his moral path has been a little zig-zag — is Addleton in a position to throw even a pebble at him — Ad- dleton ! Why, when one remembers his own big scandal in '85 — when one remembers — (pauses) — my dear Thyra, I beg your pardon, I was for- getting he's your Father, {turns to Her) Thyra. Go ahead — what happened in '85? The Duke. No — no — it was inexcusable of me to refer to anything of that sort and — we needn't discuss your Father's vagaries, (looks at his watch) Later than I thought. Do you sup- pose there is the faintest far-off chance of my getting ten minutes chat with the Duchess? Thyra. I don't know — she was going to a lot of places this afternoon. The Duke. I wonder if she'd see me in paren- thesis, (crosses to tell aiove table l.) Thyra. You might try. The Duke. I think I will, (rings, l.) When you are happily married, my dear child, as I hope you shortly will be — you'll find, however much you and your husband may each be occupied with your own affairs, it's just as well to see some- thing of one another now and then. (Parbury comes in, l. u. b.)' Oh — er — is her Grace at home? Tarbuky. I believe so, your Grace. 14 MR. HOPKINSOH. The Duke. Well, ascertain, beyond a doubt, will you? (Parbury going.) And, in the double event of her being at home, and at leisure, say I should be much indebted, if she could spare me a few minutes. Parbury. Yes, your Grace. The Duke. All right. (Parbury goes out, l u. e.) As I was saying, (crosses r. c.) domesticity is a tender plant that needs constant attention. Now, in spite of the innumerable claims upon the time, both of the Duchess and myself, we have practically made it a rule, never to meet less than once a week. Never — or very rarely less thaiv once a week. Thyra. I know. The Duke. You'll find the convenience of it,, if it's only for half an hour. There are so many little things that get forgotten. (The Duchess comes on, l. u. e) Family stock taking is an admirable institution. Thyra. All right. Uncle, when the time comes,. I'll bear it in mind. The Duchess, [on steps l.) Want me? The Duke, (turns round, and sees The Duch- ess) Now, really, this is wonderfully good of you. The Duchess, (comes down) Oh no — by an extraordinary chance, I had a few minutes to spare — so I answered your message myself — er ■ — how are you ? The Duke. Amazingly well, thanks. How are you? (shaking hands) The Duchess. Bather fagged. (sits l. of taile L.) MR. HOPKINSON. 15 The Duke, (c.) You would be. I fully in- tended to send up for news of you when I got back two days ago — but somehow, even impor- tant things slip one's memory. The Duchess. Oh, that's all right — Thyra, did you go to the Dillington's? Thyra. No — does it matter? (The Duke goes up c. to table.) The Duchesp. I promised Mrs. Dillington that some of us would show up — but perhaps life is rather short for the Dillington's. The Duke. Thyra, I'm afraid I must get rid of you — my time is terribly restricted, and I must say a word or two to your Aunt. Thyea. (Hises and goes round back of sofa. Crosses it r. u. b.) Well, if you think you're both to be trusted without a chaperone — I'll go and try on a new hat or two. The Duke. Do, and think over my — er^ homily — I've been giving Thyra a little lecture on the domestic virtues. The Duchess. That isn't your usual form. The Duke. {Not as a rule — I'm breaking out in a new place.) (Thyra smiles and goes out, r. u. e.) The Duchess. Have a good time at Ascot? The Duke. Socially, yes — financially, no. The Duchess. Couldn't you manage to sort out a few winners? The Duke. No. (coming down, c.) The Duchess. It's a bad backer's week, as a rule. The Duke. This was no exception. The Duchess. Well, one can't have it every way. How is Mrs. Daubeney? The Duke. Very fit indeed, (l. c.) 10 MR. HOPKINSON. The Duchess. Did she wear any pretty frocks ? . The Duke. I suppose so — but she clings too much to green. The. Duchess. She does rather. The Duke. I loathe green. The Duchess. Anything special to talk to me about? The Duke. I'm afraid I must bother you with a budget of vexatious problems. The Duchess. That sounds bad — won't they keep? The Duke, {sits r. of taMe l.) Hardly^un- less the present opportunity is inconvenient. The Duchess. Not in the least. I've got half an hour — then Pigache is coming to do something to my hair — he's quite an artist but his experi- ments leave one rather limp — go on — The Duke, (takes letter from pocket) Well — I've had an annoying letter from Eton — the headmaster doesn't seem satisfied with Silwood — (reads) He says — after the usual prelimi- naries — During the present year, your son, Lord Silwood — has devoted such modicum of energy and intellect as he possesses — you know that's offensive — ■ The Duchess. Very. The Duke. Intellect, as he possesses — to the breaking of most of the school regulations — • and has apparently none left for the — what's the word — putrefaction — no — prosecution — of his studies — particularly offensive — therefore it is my disagreeable duty to inform your Grace — that, in the event of Lord Silwood failing to ob- tain his remove at the commencement of next Term— we shall be compelled to request your Grace to relieve us of the thankless duty of er — MR. HOPKINSON. 17 some damned word I can't make out — but you can see the gist of it. The Duchess. 1 don't know what the man means — Silwood's a dear boy — but of course he won't stand the bearing rein — I suppose they've been trying to teach him things. The Duke. Very possibly — th-at kind of ele- ment has crept in lately at many of the public schools. The Duchess. I think we'd better have Sil- wood home, and get him a private tutor, who un- derstands his position. The Duke. I think so too — well, that dis- poses of that. Now, we come to our perennial problem — finance! In that direction the out- look is — well, strictly speaking, there isn't any outlook — it isn't so much that we want money, but every infernal tradesman seems to want it too — and want it aggressively, {hands hills to The Duchess) You might just look over these, when you have five minutes to spare. One is so perpetually taking one's custom elsewhere that it isn't easy to remember who one is dealing with. (rises, and goes iip c.) The Duchess. Yes. I've had to break with Clotilde — it's hard luck of course — she's the only woman in London who knows how to make one look smart without making one look hideous — but she sent in an account that had only been running three years. The Duke, (up c.) Only three years! Bless my heart. The Duchess. One couldn't stand that, don't you know — so I'm trying Laurent, but it'll take months to get her into line — and then very likely the same difficulty may arise again. The Duke. I shouldn't wonder. The Duchess, I don't quite see what one can 3 18 MR. HOPKINSON. do — if you remember we converted half the diamond necklace and two thirds of the tiara into paste— I'll do anything I can and if you say the other half of the necklace — and even the other third of the tiara must go — The Duke, {drops c.) Certainly not— the offer is a noble one — but I won't hear of any further sacrifice in that direction — No — what I would suggest is this — I've had an offer to let Glentochty — for the shooting — rich American and all that kind of thing — you don't want the usual gathering this year — particular!}', do you? The Duchess. Not a bit — glad of a rest. The Duke. Quite so — thought you would be — then, I'll close with the offer — . What are your autumn plans? {going up to table c.) The Duchess. Cowes — and then a few visits. You'll go to Marienbad, I suppose? The Duke. Yes — I shall get such little shoot- ing as I want at the Churtons. The Duchess. The Churtons — I promised to give them a week in October — very likely we shall meet. The Duke, {moves c.) That would be de- lightful — you must come out with the guns one day, and have a chat — sure to have a few things to talk over by then. The Duchess. {rises, and crosses r., with hills) I will — {slight pause) — there doesn't seem to be anything conspicuously tragic about your problems. The Duke. Ah — wait a moment — I'm sorry to say there's Addleton. The Duchess. Has he cropped up again ? The Duke. Had a note from Smethurst — you know how we stand with Addleton over the Castle mortgage? The Duchess. I know in a general way — I MR. HOPKINbON. 19 don't pretend to understand legal matters, {sits on sofa R., down stage) The Duke. He's held a very stiff mortgage on Braceborough Castle for years — and now the besotted old rufiBan talks about foreclosure — Smethurst says it couldn't have come at a less propitious time — money everywhere is as tight as a drum — and I'll be damned — I beg pardon, 1 mean dashed — if I altogether see my way. (sits on sofa R.) The Duchess. What's gone wrong with Ad- dleton? The Duke. He isn't pleased about Thyra. The Duchess. Thyra? The Duke. Says she ought to be married by this time — implies that you've been a trifle slack. The Duchess. Slack ! I've taken her to every- thing worth going to for the last three years, and, from the moment we entered a room, I've been careful never to set eyes on her again till it was time to go. The Duke. Quite so. The Duchess. I've avoided every conserva- tory, and dark corner where she might be lurk- ing — often to my own serious inconvenience — ■ merely to give her every chance. The Duke. Precisely. The Duchess. As to introductions, I've taken every one who was eligible by the collar, and pitched him straight at her — but marrying, for the moment, is demode — the best men aren't doing it. The Duke. All that, has been strongly em- phasized in a previous correspondence with Ad- dleton. The Duchess. Then, what is it he wants, or doesn't want? The Duke. He naturally wants everything that is unreasonable. He wants a son-in-law. 20 MR. HOPKINSON. Mho is rich — and he also makes it a sine qua non that the man shall have no past. The Duchess. No past! The Duke. I fancy even one divorce would be prohibitive. The Duchess. Would it? Ah — Addleton doesn't understand the state of the present day market. The Duke. Scalded dog, I imagine — His old '85 trouble rankles perhaps, and in that connec- tion, I may mention that he considers Gawthorpe an unsuitable associate for Thyra — and would like us to strike him ofif our visiting list. The Duchess. Why, dear old Gawthorpe wouldn't hurt a fly — at any rate not an unmar- ried fly. The Duke. Just what I contend. No fellow I have a greater regard for — but do you think there is any chance of placing Thyra advantage- ously — there's no doubt this threatened foreclos- ure is a nuisance and Addleton practically links the two questions together, (rises) The Duchess. I'll tell you what — I'll talk it over with Otho Dursingham — he might have an inspiration. The Duke. Don't think you could do better — (crosses c.) I'm ashamed to hustle you, but the matter is rather pressing. The Duchess. The man must be rich? The Duke. Very rich^and no past. The Duchess. Is he supposed to have a family? The Duke. No past of any kind, (gets let- ters from table L., and goes up c.) The Duchess. I mean would Addleton take a middle class man, who complied with the other conditions? The Duke, I assume he would (up c.) MR. HOPKINSON. 21 The Duchess. All right. I'll talk to Otho. (rises) The Duke, (coming down, c.) It's particu- larly good of you. (looks at watch) Dear me! how quickly time goes in congenial company. Afraid I must run away — Hope I haven't been a nuisance? The Duchess. Not at all. The Duke. You're giving a little dinner at the Cecil to-night — aren't you? The Duchess. Yes — by the by, will you come? The Duke. Afraid I can't— sorry — nothing I should like better — but — The Duchess. Are the Daubeneys back in town? The Duke. Yes. The Duchess, (smiling) Oh, well then, some other time — good-bye. The Duke. Good-bye — so fortunate to find you at leisure. (They shake hands.) (Dursinghaji comes in, and meets The Duke, who is going l. u. e.) DuRSiNGHAM. Hulloa, Dook ! The Duke. My dear Dursingham, delighted to see you. (The Duchess goes up to writing-tahle, c, behind sofa R.) Dursingham. Fancy meeting you here, (on steps, L.) The Duke. I'm just ofiE — in fact I'm rather late — I've been obliged to bore the Duchess with a lot of tedious business matters. Dursingham. I'll put that right. (The Duke is going.) Did you do any good at Ascot? 22 MR. HOrKINSON. The Duke. My dear fellow, no — want to for- get it — good-bye. {goes out) (DuRSiNGHAM strolls ovcf to The Duchess and sits lazily.) DuRsiNGHAM. Dook looks well. The Duchess. Yes, he does — the last time I saw him — when was that? I suppose about three weeks ago — I remember thinking he was (crosses over L., beloio table l.) looking rather seedy — but he always pulls round. DuEsiNGHAM. (after pause) Well, dear. The Duchess. Otho, I'm down on my luck. {sits R. of table l.) Dursingham. How's that? (sitting on edge of table L.) The Duchess. We're going to let Glentochty this year. Dursingham. You don't say that! Then, where the Devil, am I to get my shootin'? The Duchess. There isn't any help for it. Dursingham. What's the matter? Coin? The Duchess. Coin — among other things. Dursingham. Was that the Dock's business chat? The Duchess. Y'es — He's rather worried — you see for one thing he's had a bad Ascot week — then Silwood has got into a row at Eton — Addleton is behaving like a brute over the Castle mortgage — nobody seems to want to marry Thyra — and Mrs. Wentworth Daubeney will go on wearing green. Dursingham. Poor old Dook ! The Duchess. You don't think you could lend a hand — I always fall back on you when affairs are more wobbly than usual. (The Duchess leans her hand on Dursing- ham's.) Dursingham. I know you do (rises) but a MR. HOPKINSON. 23 chap has got to realise his limitations. For in- stance, you don't catch me saying anything un- pleasant to Mrs. Daubeney about her frocks — not even to oblige the Dook — why she'd think no more of firin' me out than if I was Daubeney. (opens cigarette hox) The Duchess. Oh, that's all right — Thyra is the great diflSculty — somehow she doesn't quite get there. DuKsiNGHAM. No, she doesn't — and yet I know a lot of chaps who think well of her — if she was once married I fancy she'd go ahead and do her- self credit, [lights a cigarette) The Duchess. Yes — and her marriage would put us right with Addleton. DuKSiNGHAM. Oh, would it? The Duchess. He wants something rather special — the man must be very rich — and his story mustn't have any back numbers to it — nO' past — and that sort of thing, don't you know. Dursingham. Addleton don't ask much. {moves to front of taile) The Duchess. Of course, it's hideously unrea- sonable. Dursingham. Any objection to the man bein' a third rate bounder? The Duchess. Not a bit. Dursingham. I mean a chap who is clean out- side our radius, (sits l. of taMe l.) The Duchess. That could be got over — Have you any notion? Dursingham. I'm thinkin'. What do you say to Hopkinson ? The Duchess. What would anybody say to Hopkinson? Who is Hopkinson? Dursingham. You've never heard of him? The Duchess. Never. Dursingham. Why, the papers have been full 24 MR. HOPKINSON. of him. He even crowded out the correspondence — "Is divorce still popular?" The Duchess. But what is he? DuRsiNGHAAi. He's the very latest financial sensation. The Duchess. South Africa, or American? DuRSiNGHAM. Neither — he's Home growth — he was livin' out his feeble little life in one of the suburbs, when a colonial uncle died, and left him chunks of bullion — The Duchess. What was he exactly — before he inherited? DuKsiNGHAM. He was in a stores — some local tradesman had tacked on butcher's meat and chandlery to his original establishment and called it the something or other stores — Hoppy was the l»ook-keeper. DuESixGHAJi. What's a book-keeper? DuRSiNGHAJi. The chap in the rabbit hutch who takes the money. I believe he started be- hind the counter originally, but we never men- tion that. I happened to drop across him — it was through Charlie Renton, but that don't matter — anyway he's rather taken to me and I'm teachin' him some of the rules of the game. The Duchess. I suppose you make it a matter of business? DuRSiNGHAM. Yes — but one has to play light with him (rises) he's had what's called a sound commercial education — His parents, the late Mr. and Mrs. Hopkinson — took particular care to impress on him the value of fourpence halfpenny — to boil it down into plain English, he's a mean little swine. The Duchess. But, if he's come into all this money — DuRsiNGHAM. That's where it is — he can't rise to it — he does know the value of fourpence half- penny, but the fortune is beyond him — even in a MR." HOPKINSON. 35 little thing like cab fares, you can't depend on him. {sitting on sofa) The Duchess. Would he do for Thjra, by any chance? DuRSiNGHAM. That's what struck me. The Duchess. No past? DuRSiNGHAM. Oh no — Hold on — he talks to me, don't you know — and he tells me there was some girl — in his own line of life — who was what he calls his fiarncy — by the by I'm sorry to say he took a few French lessons before I could stop him — but you must steer him clear of that. The Duchess, {moves to hack of sofa, e.) Certainly — but about the girl? Dursixghaji. I understand he's chucked her — and the whole thing didn't amount to a row of beans — AYell now, what do you say? The Duchess. It sounds rather healthy — - when will you bring him along? DuRSixGHAM. You cau see him now if you like • — I keep him at the end of a string. I told him to call for me here — I've got to give him his orders for the evening — as a rule he dines with me — at least I dine with him — but to-night, there's your feed at the Cecil. (Parbury comes in, l. u. e.) The Duchess. Would you like to bring him with you? DuRSiNGHAM. Oh Lord no — I shall be glad of a night off. Parbuey. a gentleman has called for you, sir. DuRSiNGHAM. That's him {to The Duchess) Shall he come up? The Duchess. By all means. DuRSiNGHAM. Fetch him up, will you? (Parbury goes out, h. u. e.) The Duchess, {rising) Hadn't I better give 26 MR. HOPKINSON. you five minutes with him before he sees me? (behind chair, c.) DuRSiNGHAM. Well, I think it would be bet- ter — He'll about jump out of his boots at the notion of being presented to Her Grace the Duch- ess of Braceborough — you may as well give him a little margin. The Duchess, (going) All right. DuRSiNGHAJi. What shall I do, if he turns faint? The Duchess, (moves to door, r. u. e.) Ring for sal volatile— -let him see our intentions are hospitable — I'll come back in a minute or two. (goes out, r. u. e.) (Slight pause.) (Parbury comes in, followed iy Hopkinson.) Parbury. Mr. Hopkinson. Du^RSiNGHAM. Ah, Hoppy ! (Parbury goes out, l. u. e.) Found your way here? Hopkinson. (moves down, c.) Yes, Mr. Dur- singham — I called as requested, but I hope my being here is no inconvenience — I could have waited in the hall or on the pavement. DuRSiNGHAM. Rot — sit down and make your- self at home — the people here are very decent and they're old friends of mine — will vou have any- thing? Hopkinson. (sits l. of tailc l.) No, thank you — I never take anything between meals. DuRsiNGHAM. Hoppy — I'm afraid you were properly brought up. Hopkinson. My late parents were very care- ful in impressing upon me the importance of — er — • DuRSixGHAM. Have a cigarette? (r. c.) Hopkinson. Oh, I've smoked my cigarette to- MR. HOPKINSON. 27 day — and I got through it very fairly considering I'm fresh to it — ever since you pointed out that society would expect it of me, I've persevered in spite of a naturally weak stomach, (slight pause) This is a very beautiful residence, if I may take the liberty of submitting the remark. DuRSiNGHAM. Yes, it isn't a bad old shanty. Have you any notion where you are? HopKiNSON. No, Mr. Dursingham. DuESiNGHAM. This is the town house of the Dook of Braceborough. HopKiNSON. What! (rises) Dursingham. He and the Duchess are old friends of mine, especially the Duchess — I've been talking about you to her — she wants to know you. HOPKINSON. What! Dursingham. She wants to know you — she'll be back in a minute. Hopkinson. (rises, and moves unsteadily up stage) I think if you'll excuse me — not feeling quite myself — sudden change in the weather. Dursingham. (stopping Mm) Don't be a silly ass — you'll be great pals. (Both aiove tahle, l.) Hopkinson. Great pals with — Her Grace the Duchess of Braceborough? Dursingham. Why not? (pulls -flower out of Hopkinson's coat, and throws it away) I've said a good word for you, and she listens to me — Now pull yourself together and try not to look so much like a boiled chimpanzee — you want a free pass to the best set, don't you? Well, the Duchess can give it to you. Hopkinson. I shan't know myself. Dursingham. Praps not, but you'll know everybody else. Hopkinson. But I haven't had a minute for ?8 MR. HOPKINSON. preparation — I should have liked a little time tO' throw a few ideas together. DuESiNGHAM. You won't want 'em. She'll see to all that — you just jump in, and she'll tell the man where to drive — I've made it all right. HoPKiNSON. I'm sure I have to thank you, Mr, Dursingham for all your disinterested kindness.. DuESiNGHAM. Don't name it — {moves up c.) — I like doin' little things of this sort — think I hear her — HoPKiNSON. {moves to steps, l.) Oh my good- ness, do you — I — I suffered last year with prickly heat — and I feel as if it was coming on again.. {on steps, L.) ' (The Duchess comes in, r. u. e.) Dursingham. Buck up — I tell you it's all right — Duchess — this is my friend Mr. Hopkin- son — Hoppy — this is the Duchess of Brace- borough. The Duchess, (e. c.) Very pleased to know you, Mr. Hopkinson. (She shakes hands with Him. Moves down hehind sofa, r. and sits) Hopkinson. Oh — er — reely, your Grace — I — er not quite prepared for the honour — perhaps I might take the liberty of calling again — this day week — Dursingham. Buck up — (l. c. to The Duch- ess) Fact is. Duchess, I s'pose I ought to have broken you to him a bit more gently — but I tell him you won't eat him. The Duchess. Oh no — there's no danger of that — I'm on a very careful diet just now. Come and sit down, Mr. Hopkinson. Hopkinson. If I'm not taking up your Grace's, time — The Duchess. Not in the least. MR. HOPKINSON. £9 (HopKiNSON timidly puts hat and stick on taMe L.) Now, Otho, suppose you run away, and let Mr. Hopkinson and I see if we can learn to keep step. DuRsiNGHAM. Riglito — see you eight thirty — Cecil — (on steps l.) — Good-bye, Hoppy, come round to my place to-morrow — and we'll map out the day. Hopkinson. (rising hastily, going up after Him) Mr. Dursingham, you're not going — surely you — won't leave us — The Duchess. Why not — three is a stupid number when two people wish to get better ac- quainted. Dursingham. (aside) There — do you hear that? She's taken to you, and she ain't easy to please — I fancy it's your tone and manner that has knocked her. Hopkinson. (also aside) Think so? Dursingham. Sure of it — go in and win — (to The Duchess) — till eight thirty. The Duchess. All right. (Dursingham goes.) (Slight pause.) Now, Mr. Hopkinson, let's try again — sit down. (Hopkinson moves down l., and sits on edge of chair l. of table.) Not in the next county — we don't want to shout at each other. (Hopkinson rises, and sits on chair r. of table, and finally sits on chair c, top end of sofa.) That's better — well now, Otho has been telling me about you. It seems you're quite a celebrity. so MR. HOPKINSON. HoPKiNSON. A celebrity, your Grace — oh no — The Duchess. Oh yes. HopKiNsoN. Well, at any rate, only in a very small way. I'm only a two ounce packet at present. The Duchess. Tell me, what does it feel like to find yourself overwhelmingly rich quite sud- KINSON. Addleton. I rested for some hours — and then suddenly found myself able to absorb an un- expected quantity of nourishment. The Duke. Come — come — that's hearty — Addleton. Ah ! but my efforts were wasted — later on the swaying movement of the train affected me very unfavorably — and I found from symptoms which I will not describe — that my meal at Dover had been injudicious and prema- ture. The Ddke. A long night's rest {looking at Ms watch) which it would be imprudent to delay — Avill work wonders, (r. c.) Addleton. Where is Thyra? The Duke. Thyra? Addleton. Why, isn't she here? Surely, she's at home on the evening of my return ? The Duke. Well no — she isn't exactly — at home — she's — in point of fact out — but — Addleton. Out ! The Duchess. My fault — I let her go — she's with our old friends the Stan ways. Addleton. I have no acquaintance with any Stanways. You should not have encouraged Thyra in her neglect of filial duty. The Duchess. That's mere nonsense — the Stanways are quite nice people and the fact that you don't know them is your bad luck. Addleton. I presume my future son-in-law — Mr—? The Duke. Mr. Hopkinson. Addleton. Mr. Hopkinson is with her? The Duke. No — not absolutely with her— he's — he's here, {watch. Business) Addleton. I don't perceive him — if he's here — where is he? Dursingham. Oh — he's somewhere about. {seated l. of tahle l.) Addleton. Somewhere about, sir? MR. HOPKINSON. 71 DuRSiNGHAM. He'll be here in a minute. Addleton. I am still in considerable doubt as to his type of personality. The letters you sent me respecting him were strangely lacking in de- scriptive detail. The Duke. We said what we could, but Mr. Hopkinson is really — quite indescribable — Isn't he? The Duchess. Quite — ^you must see him to fully appreciate him. Addleton. Where is the difficulty? Is he pos- sessed of unusual subtlety of mind? The Duchess. Hardly that — ^you know Addle- ton you mustn't expect too much — you applied to me and I've done what I could — but there's so little marriageable material in the market just now — that really it's as diflScult to find a match for a girl as it is for a ribbon — I point this out to you because if when you've seen Mr. Hopkinson you think the quality of the pattern is a little inferior — I should be sorry — but he was the best thing I had in stock. Addleton. Bring him to me — I have a feeling of lethargy — the channel passage took a good deal out of me. The Duke. So I should imagine — I'll see to it at once, [crosses to table l.) (Addleton leans iack ivith closed eyes — The Duke crosses over to The Duchess and Due- SiNGHAM who are sitting at table l. — speaking to them aside.) {behind table l.) Now, where is Mr. Hopkin- son? I don't want to blame either of you — but you shouldn't have let him out of your sight. The Duchess. That's all very well — but he's a fearful strain. - The Duke. Here is Addleton almost coma- 72 MR. HOPKINSON. tose — not at all in a condition to realize the kind of person Hopkinson actually is — it's providen- tial, and yet we can't bring them together. (Hopkinson comes on at lack, r. u. e.) DuRSiNGHAM. I'll dig him out. [rises and looks through door l. 1 e.) The Duke. Do, my dear Dursingham. (They all turn and catch sight of Hopkinson.) Dursingham. Hulloa! The Duke, (c.) Ah now! this is genuinely fortunate — we were hoping for your return. Hopkinson. (aside, e. c.) I can't find her any- where. The Duke, (speaking in a siibdued voice, and taking Hopkinson l)y the arm. Both move c.) Lord Addleton has arrived. Hopkinson. Oh has he — where is he? The Duke. Over there — he's fortunately doz- ing for the moment — (c.) Hopkinson. Could I just have a squint? (The Duke goes up c.) (Hopkinson advances cautiously and surveys Addleton, who is asleep with his mouth open — Hopkinson retreats again hastily, l.) I don't like the look of him at all — couldn't I postpone him till to-morrow? (hetween The Duke and The Duchess) The Duke. Impossible. The Duchess. That's absurd. Hopkinson. But what shall I say to him? (to The Duchess) ^ The Duchess. Don't be dismal with him. Dursingham. (aiove table l.) No — be brisk and chirpy — be your own bright self. The Duke. Very sound advice — now, if you're MR. HOPKINS ON. 73. ready, I'll rouse Addleton — and then some of us may be able to get away, (taps end of sofa) HoPKiNSON. Hold on, your Grace — just half a mo — Duchess — I must ask you — you see Thyra and I — being on our honeymoon — -will want to- keep ourselves to ourselves — The Duchess. Yes — well — HoPKiNSON. And then there's the extra ex- pense and one thing and another, so do you think we need take a maid with us? The Duchess. My dear Mr. Hopkinson — Eeally ! DuKSiNGHAM. Upou my soul — (The Duke who has ieen hovering round Addle- ton now hastily returns.) The Duke. Eh — what's the matter? The Duchess. Something about Mr. Hopkin- son's unwillingness — to engage a maid for Thyra — Hopkinson. You see your Grace — The Duke. Good Heavens, my dear sir — there is no time for trivialities of that kind — Pray be serious — now then — nerve yourself. Addleton — !. {shakes Him) Addleton. {opening his eyes) Eh! The Duke. Sorry to disturb you — but yoa mustn't forestall your night's rest — and this is your — er — that is to say — this is Mr. Hopkinson.. Addleton. {sitting up) Where? The Duke. Here, {indicating Hopkinson — c. — who hows profoundly) Addleton. What that? The Duke. Undoubtedly, (r. of Hopkinson). (Addleton groans and sinks tack again) Hopkinson. Happy to know you, my lord — glad to pay my duty to my future Father — 74 MR. HOPKINSON. (Addleton groans again louder than, before-) What's the matter with the old gent? (to The Duchess) The Duchess, (aside) He's had a rough pas- sage — • Addleton. (aside to The Duke) Bracebor- ough — what do you mean by this? How dared you do it, sir? The Duke, (behind sofa e.) My dear Addle- ton, exercise a little ordinary control — Addleton. How dared you? The Duke. Don't judge hastily — (top of sofa) — you'll find he'll grow on you — (Addleton groans again.) HoPKiNSON. He seems to be taken very bad. The Duke, (still aside to Addleton) Re- member the thing has gone much too far to be stopped now — have a little chat together and then sleep on him — figuratively of course — (aloud. Mores c.) My dear Hopkinson, we will leave you and your distinguished future relative to talk things over. The presence of any third person would only be an embarrassment to both ■ — and, speaking for myself, I have business to attend to, which is (looking at his watch) atro- ciously overdue. Addleton. You're not going, Braceborough — you won't leave me? The Duke. I absolutely must — we shall meet in the morning — Smethurst will be here at eleven thirty — mortgage — settlements — and so on — see you then — good-night — (Addleton groans. The Duke moves away) Good-night, Mr. Hopkinson. (crosses l. in front of Hopkinson) MR. HOPKINSON. 75 HoPKiNSON. (follows him up) Good-night, jour Grace. The Duke. The Duchess will see to you — Good-night everybody, (rushes out l. u. e.) HoPKiNSON. Well, Duchess — ^I — er— DuRSiNGHAM. (to The Duchess — riscs) Find I've just got time after all for a bit of supper ■with Brayleigh — so I'll make tracks. The Duchess. But you'll come on to Lady Loxdale's? (rises) DuRsiNGHAM. Of course, I will. The Duchess. All right. noPKiNSON. Duchess — I — ev — The Duchess, (crossing to Addleton) One moment — (crosses over e.) Well Addleton — I hope your head will be better to-morrow. {Dursingham fills his cigarette case from table L.) Addleton. It is not my head. The Duchess. Well then, the remainder of jou — we won't particularise — Good-night. Addleton. Are you leaving me? The Duchess. I have to look in at Lady Lox- dale's — rather a nuisance — but I promised — so there's no help for it — (Addleton groans — to Hopkinson aside.) I'll put my cloak on and then we can go. (crosses to door R. u. E.) Hopkinson. But — The Duchess. Talk to him till then — and do try to be cheerful. Hopkinson. But, Duchess — The Duchess. I won't be very long — (she goes out, r. u. e.) ^, Dursingham. I'm off, old man. Hopkinson. Here, I say, Dursingham — {crosses to Dursingham's, l.) 76 MR. HOPKINSON. DuRSiNGHAM. Good-night, Lord Addleton. Addleton. What are you going too? DuEsiNGHAM. Bit of supper at the Savoy — (Ad- dleton groans) Late already, (goingi) HoPKiNSON. I say, look here, Dursingham — (following him) Dursingham. I shall do it in a quick hamson — good-night, Hoppy — see you to-morrow, (he rushes off, l. u. b.) HopKiNSON. (aside — on steps l.) There he is — I do not like the look of him — Dursingham said I was to be my own bright self — suppose I must have a dash — (Addleton tur7is and looks at him — Hopkinson gives a hollow laugh — Addleton glares.) Addleton. Come here, sir. Hopkinson. Beg pardon? (moves c.) Addleton. Since there is an apparent neces- sity for us to become better acquainted, bring a chair, and sit down. Hopkinson. What say? Addleton. Bring a chair. Hopkinson. Thanks — (he "brings a chair from- up R.) — Just come ofE the briny haven't you, my lord — and it churned you up a bit? I remember a similar thing happening to me one Bank holi- day at Brighton — foolish like I went out in the Skylark — I felt pretty right at first — ^but as soon as ever she began to go uppy and downy (imi- tates up and down movement with his hands) you know? Addleton. With your permission, I should prefer some other topic of conversation less graphically illustrated — my recovery is not by any means firmly established. Hopkinson. I see — ^you want to give your in- side a chance to simmer down — talking of MR. HOPKIKSON. 77 Brighton — I was down there for a week end a little while ago with Gawthorpe — and he — Addleton. Did you say Gawthorpe? HopKiNSON. Yes — Lord Gawthorpe — Addleton. I am astonished that anyone who bears your reputed character for steadiness — should seek the companionship of such a person. HoPKiNSON. Now, you name it — I did hear you and he never speak as you pass by — but he's a very pleasant gentlemanlike sort of man. Addleton. I desire to hear nothing concerning him, sir — [again closes his eyes) HoPKiNSON. (aside) Don't seem to have found a short cut to him yet — (Addleton opens his eyes and glares — Hopkinson" ' repeats his hollow laugh.) Take any interest in acrostics? Addleton. In what, sir? HopKiNSON. Acrostics — you're just back from Madrid — that was your last billet wasn't it? Addleton. Yes, sir, my official duties have en- tailed a somewhat lengthy residence in Madrid. Hopkinson. That's what I say — well, it brings to my mind the circumstance that I once wrote an acrostic about Spain — My first is neither loss not gain My second blooms in sunny Spain see? sunny (Spain) My third comes sailing o'er the sea My fourth you sometimes take with tea My fifth— Addleton. What's the meaning of all this drivel, sir? Hopkinson. Drivel? Addleton. Drivel. Hopkinson. Ah, you don't care for poetry — I've met persons afflicted like that before — let us pass to some other topic — 78 MR. HOPKINSON. Addleton. How long have you been engaged to my daughter? HopKiNSON. Thyra? Oh — we fixed it up about three months ago — but we met about three months previous — it was — as you might say — love at first sight — on both sides — think you'll be gratified over the settlements — when his Grace, the Duke first named 'em to me — I said cartey blanche — not but what one or two little items have been stuck in lately without my permish — and I shall want a word or two with Mr. Smeth- urst about 'em in the morning — (Addleton groans.) What say? (Addleton waives the question away.) Oh thought you spoke — then there's the residence in Grosvenor Square — Dursingham went over it with me — and he says there's plenty of scope — seemed to me there was nothing l)ut scope — ex- cept delapidations — but I've got a pickled onion in the agent's bottle over them — you won't find me repapering the kitchen — or whitewashing the scullery — Addleton. Mr. Hopkinson — I am conscious of a rising feeling of nausea — which your conver- sation does nothing to dispel. Hopkinson. Feeling a bit qualmy? Addleton. Kindly ring the bell for my serv- ant — Hopkinson. (rising) Certainly, (crosses h. aiove table) Addleton. I shall retire to my apartment. Hopkinson. Don't know but what you're right —(rings the tell) If you could do a sleep — it might straighten you up — Addleton. Ring the bell, sir. MR. HOPKINSON. 79 HoPKiNSON. I have rung it. Addleton. Ring again — do as I direct you. HoPKiNSON. Very well — (going again and ringing the hell irritaily) There — now I've rung three times — will that do? Addleton. Any delay might be fatal — HopKiNSON. [moves r. again) Of course, you know your own constitution — but if it was my- self — I should drink a glass of mustard and water and make a thorough job of it — {moves chair lack) (Eliza comes in, l. u. e.) Addleton. How dare you, sir! (groans) HopKiNSON. It did wonders for my late re- spected father after tinned salmon. Addleton. Silence. HOPKINSON. All right — (turning away, l., and up c, and sees Eliza) Oh there you are at last ! (moves c.) Eliza. Did you ring? HopKiNSON. (taking hold of her arm and speaking aside) Yes, I did — you've done me twice before to-night, but you don't get away again, (up r. c.) Eliza, (aside) You let go of me. HopKiNsoN. No, I shan't — not till we under- stand where we are. Eliza. You're forgetting where you are. Addleton. What are you doing, Mr. Hopkin- son? HoPKiNsoN. (aside) This is a very serious matter you know. Eliza, (aside) Yes — and so you'll find it. HopKiNSON. (aside) There's been quite enough of acting the goat — Eliza, (aside) A bit too much I think. Addleton. Mr. Hopkinson — do you hear me — who is that young person? 80 MR. HOPKINSON. (HoPKiNSON turns and waves his hand to Ad- DLETON with a hollow laugh.) HoPKiNSON. Attend to you directly — (aside) we've got to settle up with one another. Eliza. That we have — ^ (Both aiove tatle l.) HoPKiNsoN. (aside) I won't be played the fool with — (still holding her) Eliza. You let me go. (business) Addleton. What do you mean by this conduct, sir? I insist on your releasing the young woman at once — (HopKiNSON does so.) Now then — who are you? (to Eliza) Eliza, (moves c.) I am Lady Thyra's maid — her ladyship engaged me this evening. Addleton. My daughter's maid — Oh! then send my servant to me, will you? Eliza. Yes, my Lord — (going up c.) (HoPKiNSON follows her.) HoPKiNsoN. But look here, you know — (up E. c.) Addleton. Remain here, Mr. Hopkinson — I shall require an explanation. Hopkinson. (looking hack with hollow laugh) Half a mo — (aside) Come back afterwards. I want to talk to you. Eliza, (aside) I'll come back — I want to talk to you — (She goes) (Hopkinson returns.) Addleton. Now, what have you to say, sir — you are entirely falsifying the character for pro- priety my relatives gave you. MR. HOPKINSON. 81 HoPKiNSON. I don't apprehend your meaning. Addleton. a moment ago you appeared to be dallying with my daughter's maid. HoPKiNSON. Oh no — come — I wasn't not to say dallying — I was giving her a few orders — but I feel sure she won't suit us. Addleton. I am relieved to hear you say so. HOPKINSON. Oh no — a day's notice — (comes iack to sofa) — and a week's wages will be the programme. (Blisset comes on, l. u. e., and crosses r. behind sofa.) Addleton. Very well, sir — your method of controlling your female domestics does not com- mend itself to me — Blisset — I am feeling most imwell. Blisset. Indeed, my lord? Addleton. I think I will go to bed, Blisset. Blisset. Quite so, my Lord. Addleton. You have tested the dryness of the sheets ? Blisset. I have, my Lord. Addleton. Then give me your assistance. (Blisset helps Addleton to get up.) Which is the nearest way to my sleeping apart- ment? Blisset. In this direction, my Lord. Addleton. Very well — we will go deliberately, Blisset — any sudden movement might unhinge me — Good-night, Mr. Hopkinson. HoPKiNSON. Good-night, my Lord — very pleased to meet you. (Addleton goes laboriously out, e. 1 e.) Now, I wonder where she's got to — 83 MR. HOPKINSON. (Eliza comes on, l. u. e.) Are we to have any more hare and hounds about the passages — Eliza. Here I am, Mr. Hopkinson. HoPKiNSON. Oh — is that you, Eliza? And if I may throw out the remark — what do you think of yourself? Eliza, (moves c.) Wouldn't it save time if I was to tell you what I think of you? Hopkinson. No, it wouldn't — respecting your opinion of me — I've no vulgar curiosity — you wriggled your way in here — Eliza. I didn't wriggle — Hopkinson. For the purpose of argument — I say you wriggled your way into this residence — where I am well known and highly respected — where I am — anyhow you got in with a false char- acter. Eliza. I didn't — what do you mean by low talk of that kind — there's nothing wrong with my character. Hopkinson. You took a false name. Eliza. I took my dear mother's name which is Brown. Hopkinson. But you didn't take your dear father's name which is Dibb — mind if I was to give you away — and my friends the Duke and Duchess of Braceborough were to make a legal job of it — the best that could happen to you would be — detained for enquiries. Eliza. I've been engaged by Lady Thyra Hop- kinson that is to be — as her travelling maid — on the honeymoon. Hopkinson. (gives a hollow laugh) Ha — ha — excuse me but I can't help but laugh. Eliza. Perhaps you'd rather her ladyship and me and you had a talk over old times together — ME. HOPKINSON. 83 I've got some letters to show her. I wonder if she'd laugh. HoPKiNSON. You said you'd burnt 'em — you see there's no depending on you. Eliza. Receivings is keepings. HopKiNSON. Look here — Eliza — what is — has got to be — and what might have been — can't — if you follow me — of course you're bound to be a bit nasty — that's only in nature — but — (putting his arm round her) — I have known you reasonable — not often — but now and again — and if there's any little business you might care to embark on — re- quiring a — small capital — (The Duchess comes on in long cloak, r. u. e.) of course, I know you've got savings of your own. The Duchess. Mr. Hopklnson ! HopKiNSON. {not hearing) Savings to a tidy amount — but I might put something to 'em — and — The Duchess. Mr. Hopkinson! (He turns and is transfixed with horror — Eliza after a second's pause — makes a slight courtesy to The Duchess and goes quietly hut quickly out, L. 1 E.) Sorry to inconvenience you but I'm afraid Lady Loxdale will be expecting us. Hopkinson. (l. c.) Oh, certainly, Duchess — I'm yours to command — but as regards the young person just now — The Duchess. Thyra's new maid — yes — I un- derstand you disapproved of her being engaged on the score of economy — but I'm glad to see you've reconsidered your objection. Hopkinson offers his arm nervously — She takes it — and as they go out together, the curtain falls.) 84 MR. HOPKINSON. ACT III. {Libmry at The Duke's according to plan. At rise of curtain, Eliza is discovered looking at icedding presents on table up c.) (Thyra enters hastily, dressed in walking cos- timie, L. u. E.) Thyra. Ah, Brown, there you are! Eliza. I beg your pardon, my lady, I was tak- ing the liberty of looking at the wedding presents. Thyra. I wanted you — I'm — going out. Eliza. So I see, my lady, {up c.) Thyra. I suppose as it's my wedding day, you think that's an odd thing for me to do? {ahove settee) Eliza. Thinking's no part of my duty, my lady — and in such a high family as this — it would be a liberty. Thyra. There's no doubt. Brown, you do know your business. Eliza. I hope so, my lady. Thyra. Well, if anybody wants me — (c7'0sses over R., a'bove table l.) — say I'm seedy — got a headache — yes — you'd better make it neuralgia. Eliza. Neuralgia, my lady ! Thyra. I'm rather hard up just now — I gen- erally am — but — if you'll mask me in till I've got clean away — I'll — Eliza. No occasion for that, my lady, thank you — I was wondering if I might make bold to ask a question — Thyra. Go on. (r. c.) Eliza. Is your ladyship coming back? Thyra. Why do you want to know? {takes a step towards her) MR. HOPKINSON. 85 Eliza. It would make it easier for me if your ladyship would trust me a little further — your ladyship may depend on my not answering any questions. Thyea. {turns to her) Well — it's like this — I'm going to keep an appointment — if things go wrong I shall come back — if they go right I may come back — {look at each other) — for a little while — can you dig a meaning out of that? Eliza. I fancy so^ — {slight pause) — thank you, my lady. Thyra. Anyway — you can stay in my service if you care to. Eliza. That would depend on circumstances, my lady. Thyra. All right — now — I'm off — I'm going out by the side staircase — {going) — mind if any- body asks — I've not gone out. {crosses r.) Eliza. Of course not, my lady. (Thyra goes out, r. u. e. — Eliza stands thinking for a moment — and then is going hut is met hy HopKiNSON who enters l. u. e. in wedding cos- tume with a jewel case under his arm.) HoPKiNSON. Hulloa, Eliza — is that you? (L. C.) Eliza. Yes, it's me, Mr. Hopkinson — oh how very pretty you look, (c.) Hopkinson. Think so? Yes — one has to have a dash on one's wedding day — {drops case on sofa) — well now — have you been thinking since I saw you ? Eliza. Oh yes. Hopkinson. Ah — and I hope you've come round — I'm almost sorry you've seen me in these things — because it may unsettle your mind. Eliza. Oh no. Hopkinson. I'm glad to hear it — now I do 86 MR. HOPKINSON. hope you've given up any notion of going on the honeymoon because I shouldn't be able to bear myself. Eliza. It's wonderful to me you're ever able to bear yourself. HoPKiNSON. What say? EnzA. Nothing — you needn't worry about the honeymoon — I'm not going with you and Lady Thyra. HopKiNSON. Well now — that's — that's sense — and as you've come over reasonable I'm sure we can come to terms. As to starting you in that little business, I shan't let an extra pound or two stand in the way, though lately— it's been pay out all round, {picks up how) Eliza. What's that you've got under your arm? HoPKiNSON. That — oh — that's my present to Thyra — I wouldn't bring it till to-day — can't be too careful — burglars and what not. It's a dia- mond necklace. Eliza. Show it to me. HopKiNSON. {hesitating) Sure the sight of it won't put you off colour again? Eliza. Quite sure. HopKiNSON. {opening the case) Well then there — how's that? Eliza. Beautiful. HopKiNSON. Ran me into a pretty figure — but diamonds will always fetch a price — {crosses over to fireplace r.) — that's one thing — now I think you'd better step it. Eliza. Why ? HopKiNsoN. {leaning on taMe) — Because we've got important business to attend to. Eliza. Who's we? {leaning on chair l. of tahle E.) HoPKiNSON. Myself — and the Duke of Brace- borough — and the Honourable Otho Dursingham MR. HOPKINSON. 87 — and the Earl of Addleton — and — and myself, Eliza. Are they all coming in here? HopKiNSON. Yes. Eliza. What for? HoPKiNsoN. Why, to sign the settlements — {moves to fireplace) — Smethurst, the lawyer will be here directly. Eliza. Oh will he? I'm glad to know that. {crosses c.) HoPKiNSON. What's it matter to you? Eliza. I was just thinking — that's all. HoPKiNSON. Thinking what ? Eliza. Nothing. HoPKiNSON. You're very peculiar in your man- ner, Eliza — (The Duke comes in, r. u. b.) but as this is the last opportunity I may have of settling up with you — Eliza. Oh no, it isn't — {moves down l. c.) HoPKiNSON. There's no time like the present — and^ The Duke. Good morning, Mr. Hopkinson. (R. c.) (HopKiNSON turns round — staggered.) Hopkinson. Oh good morning, your Grace — 1 was just — er — {to Eliza) — that will do — I can't attend to you now. {takes her up l. c.) Eliza. Perhaps later on ? Hopkinson. Very well, I'll see to it — (up 1. c.) — (Eliza goes out quietly, l. u. e.) How does your Grace find yourself to-day? The Duke. Fairly well — thanks, {down l. of taile) Hopkinson. I was just explaining a few mat- 88 MR. HOPKINSON. ters to Thyra's maid but I'm doubtful about her suiting us. The Duke. Are you? HoPKiNSON. She ain't hardly class enough for the place — not to my way of thinking. The Duke. Ah, I never venture an opinion in domestic questions — Has Smethurst come ? {at fireplace) HoPKiNSON. Not knowing can't say. (The Duke rings the dell, and sits e. of'taile r.) The Duke. We may as well find out. HoPKiNsoN. Will your Grace cast your eye over this diamond necklace? (leaning over talle) The Duke. Eh what — oh certainly. HoPKiNSON. Eather of the ratherest, don't you think? The Duke. Very much so. HoPKiNSON. Yes, they're merry little spark- lers — (sits L. of taMe e.) — I don't believe one man out of a thousand could tell they were Cape. Paebuey has come on, l. u. c. The Duke. And as a matter of fact are they — ■ Cape? HoPKiNSON. Yes they are — but — The Duke. Excuse me — has Mr. Smethurst come? Parbuey. He has just arrived, your Grace. The Duke. Then show him in here will you? HoPKiNsoN. There's a kind of vulgar prejudice in favor of — - The Duke. One moment — Parbury — you might let Lord Addleton know we're waiting for him. Paebuey. Yes, your Grace. The Duke. You were saying something, Mr. Hopkinson. MR. HOPKINSON. 89 HoPKiNSON. I was saying there's a vulgar prejudice about diamonds being white — but I never listen to foolishness of that sort — I think a dash of yellow color here and there breaks the monotony. The Duke. Perhaps it does. HopKiNSON. There's the same redicklous ob- jection in some quarters to buying anything second hand — now my respected father suffered a. good deal with his feet. The Duke. Did he? Very distressing, [turns away) HopKiNSON. He was a martyr with 'em till he hit upon the idea of wearing second hand boots — (The Duke looks at Hopkinson.) it isn't everybody would have thought of that. The Duke. Perhaps not — I doubt if the ex- pedient would ever have occurred to " me." (Paebuey comes in followed by Smethuest, l. u. E.) Pakbury. Mr. Smethurst. The Duke. Ah, Smethurst — glad to see you. (rises and crosses c.) (Pakbury goes out.) Smethurst. Good morning, Duke — I hope you're very well, (moves c. to The Duke) The Duke. (r. c.) Very fairly well — (they shake hands) — ^You know Mr. Hopkinson. Smethurst. I think I've had the pleasure — Hopkinson. (l. of taile r.) Sir to you — I should like half a word about the settlement — I've been looking through the draft copy — and — Smethurst. (goes to top of talle, and opens hag) Ah — exactly — I shall be at your disposal directly — but, Duke — will you look over this let- 90 MR. HOPKINSON. ■ter from Longhurst — {gives letter to The Duke, who crosses over l.) — it deals with the question of the lease of the sixteen acre farm. The Duke, {taking it) Certainly. HoPKiNSON. I say you know — {up l. of table E.) — Smethurst — that clause about provision for children if any — Smethurst. At the proper time, Mr. Hopkin- son, I shall be happy to answer any questions — important or trivial — • HopKiNsoN, Trivial ! {goes up c.) (Addleton comes in, l. u. e.) The Duke. We shall get to you directly, Mr. Hopkinson — if you'll exercise a little patience — Ah, my dear Addleton — there you are — -{up l. c.) Addleton. How do you do, Braceborough — well, Smethurst — {shakes hands) — good day, Mr. Hopkinson. {crosses in front of taile to arm- chair E.) Hopkinson. How's the noble diaphtagm — set- tling down? Addleton. I am feeling better — {sits on chair E. of taile R.) The Duke. Ah — (l.) Addleton. But not much better — The Duke. Oh — you slept well? {sits on set- tee L.) Addleton. Only moderately well — the change io a cooler climate is somewhat abrupt — I was •conscious — especially towards the small hours of a distinct paucity of blankets. The Duke. Dear — dear — the Duchess will be in despair. Hopkinson. (c.) Suffer with cold feet — {to The Duke, who turns away) — that's like me. Addleton. I approached breakfast with a very natural feeling of hesitation, but my misgivings MR. HOPKINSON. 91 were quite falsified — in fact I may say I surprised myself. The Duke, {looking at his watch) That's, capital, (rises and crosses to Smethuesx) Addleton. Since then — I have again reverted to a feeling of doubt — there are intermittent mo- ments when I am absolutely in pain. HopKiNSON. Did you ever try gin and pepper- mint? {ietween The Duke and Smbthurst) Addleton. Never, sir. Smethurst. May we proceed to business, Duke? The Duke. As far as I am concerned, cer- tainly — but wasn't Dursingham to sign with me as co-Trustee? (Dursingham comes in hastily, l. u. e.) We might allow a little margin for — oh here he is — very fortunate — Dursingham. Good morning — don't tell me I'm late — (c.) The Duke. Not at all. Dursingham. How are you, Lord Addleton — wheels goin' round again? {moves c.) Addleton. I am slowly groping my way, Mr. Dursingham. Dursingham. Keep at it — HuUoa, Hoppy — (l. c.) — you look all a bridegroom — what? Were you gettin' nervous your best man would leave you to fight it out by yourself? (l. c.) Hopkinson. Glad to see you, Dursingham. (l.) Dursingham. Should think you were — I don't know what my duties are — but I fancy I fan you with a towel between the rounds. Smbthurst. I think that now Mr. Dursing- ham has arrived we may — The Duke. By all means — you have the pa- pers? {at table) 93 MR. HOPKINSON. Smethurst. They are all here, {at taMe) DuESiNGHAM. Is that the signin' business? (L. c.) The Duke. Yes. (goes up and drings chair down from r. of tahle c.) Ddrsingham. But how about the Duchess — she ought to be in it — what? {settee) The Duke. My dear Dursingham — quite so — {crosses r. and rings hell) — thanks for the re- minder — {rings the hell) — the Duchess should obviously be present. {Slight pause.) Smethurst. {turns towards tahle c.) — A very charming display of wedding presents. The Duke. Yes — {top of tahle R.) — on the whole — -I think we may say so. Dursingham. That's nothing — we've got a whole room full up-stairs. (Parbury comes in, h. u. e.) HopKiNSON. Talking of presents I should just like to — (L. of tahle c.) The Duke. One second, Mr. Hopkinson — (r. of Hopkinson — to Parbury) Will you tell the Duchess that we are all here and should be obliged if she could make it convenient to join us. Parbury. Yes, your Grace. (Parbury goes out.) The Duke. I fear I again interrupted you, Mr. Hopkinson — {sits r. of tahle) Hopkinson. {coming down c. with jeivel case) I was going to ask — of course your Grace has seen 'em — but what does the present company say to this? {displaying necklace) Smethurst. Oh — very — very — effective. {talces it) Hopkinson. Yes — I think it's a bit of all right Mil. HOFKINSON. 93 may I trouble jou to pass it to Lord Addleton — Smethurst. Certainly. (Addleton groans.) HopKiNSON. What's gone wrong with him? The Duke. Not feeling ill again? Addleton. Merely an internal spasm — momen- tary but severe. HoPKiNSON. I've known hot fomentations of poppy heads do the trick something wonderful — there was an aunt of mine — Addleton. There is no necessity for drastic remedies — the feeling is again subsiding. (The Duchess comes in, l. u. e.) (Smethurst lias given lack the necklace to Hop- KiNSON, who places it among the presents — up c.) (Smethurst rises.) The Duke. Ah — that's all right. The Duchess. Morning, everybody, {moves c.) The Duke. We were awaiting your arrival. (R. C.) The Duchess. Not really — so sorry — how are you, Addleton? [moves c.) Addleton. I am only feeling moderately well. The Duke. Quite so — but as the symptoms are rather complex and we're pressed for time — I think Smethurst — that now — Smethurst. Certainly, Duke — where will her Grace sit? The Duchess. That's all right — don't let me keep things about — Oh, I say, Otho — how about this frock? (crosses over l. to Otho) Dursingham. Extraordinary good I think. Smethurst. This is the deed of renewal of 94 MB. HOPKINSON. mortgage on the Castle estate with the renewal of loan endorsed. The Duchess. The shade isn't too light, now you see it in a mass is it? {turning round) DUESINGHAM. Not a bit. The Duchess. You weren't certain when we chose the pattern? DuRsiNGHAM. No — but it's come out a lot bet- ter than I fancied it would. The Duchess. Sure? DuESiNGHAM. Quite. The Duke, (rises and crosses to The Duch- ess) If j-ou've no objection — we might proceed to business. The Duchess. What? The Duke. I was merely suggesting that we might get on. (iaclc to table) The Duchess. Am I interrupting? So sorry. (sits on settee l.) Smethuest. (rises) The renewal of mortgage between the Duke of Braceborough and the Earl of Addleton— (HopKiNsoN has come down to The Duchess.) HoPKiNSON. Good day, Duchess. The Dtjke. (rises and crosses c. to Hopkin- son) Really — really — Mr. Hopkinson may I ask you to take that chair — we shall be here all day — (Hopkinson sits left of table — down stage.) Smethuest. (rises) Renewal of loan be- tween the Duke of Braceborough and the Earl of Addleton — as in the previous deed the two parties to the agreement solemnly bind themselves and their heirs and assigns— to — I fear the Duchess may find me a little tedious. The Duchess. Oh no — mousseline de soie. DuEsiNGHAM. Pink chiffon. The Duchess. Oh no — MR. HOPKINSON. 95 Smethukst. It lias occurred to me that as no question of a controversial nature is involved the reading of the document is perhaps not necessary. HopKiNSON. Hear — hear. Addleton. Pardon me, Smethurst— I am by no means certain that my decision to renew the mortgage was not too hastily arrived at. The Dcke. What's that? (l. of taile) Smethuest. I beg your pardon, my Lord — Addleton. I am not sure that knowing all the facts of the case I am willing to proceed without further time for reflection. The Duke. How much time do you want? You've had six months. Smethurst. I must point out to your Lord- ship that the existing understanding — Addleton. My agreement to renew the mort- gage was conditional — on a certain arrangement which I cannot conveniently discuss under the present circumstances. The Ddke. (rises) And that arrangement has been carried out on our side — you made stipu- lations as to the — the credentials of a — a possible aspirant — in a — certain matrimonal direction and we met your views in a financial — and moral sense. Addleton. Some little refinement of manner in the direction indicated was also understood. The Duke. No it wasn't — was it? {crosses to The Duchess) (The Duchess is talking to Dursingham, who is laughing and doesn't hear.) (The Duke goes up c.) ^ Smethurst. (crossing to The Duchess, l. c.) Your Grace — the Duke is addressing an important question to you. The Duchess. What's the matter? 96 MR. HOPKINSON. Smbthurst. Lord Addleton maintains that in his list of requirements a gentlemanly demeanor was also included — was that so? The Duchess. Of course it was not — 1 never gave the smallest guarantee as to that. The Duke. There! {turns down c.) Smeti-iurst. (returning to taMe) I was cer- tain your Lordship was in error. Addleton. I say average social decency was implied — The Duke. I say it was not. (l. of table) HopKixsox. Don't want to shove my oar into what don't concern me — but as an impartial on- looker — ■ The Duchess, (fo Dursingham) Go over and pull them together — (DuRSixGHAM crosses over to Hopkinson.) HoPKiNSON. I was umpire once in a local foot- ball match — the Tooting Rovers against Brondes- bury United and — DuRsiNGHAM. Dry up Hoppy — go over to the Duchess — (The Duke up c.) think she wants to talk to you. (Hopkinson crosses over to The Duchess.) Look here Lord Addleton there's bin a lot of bother gettin' this business into focus — some of us have given time and trouble to it which might have been laid out to better advantage — you wanted a rich man — and a moral man and you've got both — I suppose you didn't expect him to be a Dook — Addleton. I did not, sir — I have no desire to ally myself with any more Dukes. The Duke, That's mere offensiveness — (l. of t.fihle) MR. HOPKINSON, 97 Smethurst. Very uncalled for — Addleton. There has been an element of sub- terfuge — The Duke. Subterfuge be — dashed — (The Duke crosses over r. iehind Addleton's chair.) Smethurst. Lord Addleton, you are not justi- fied in imputing motives of an unworthy nature. DuESiNGHAM. (l. of toMe) We're all ridin' together in this particular applecart and if Lord Addleton upsets it over we all go — at this stage of the business it's for him to say whether that's likely to be worth his while — (slight pause) Addleton. I have not finally withdrawn from the arrangement — but I have received no tangible proof of Mr. Hopkinson's solvency. He has not yet signed the marriage settlement. DuRsiNGHAM. That's soon done — Hoppy — (rises and crosses over l. to Hopkinson) HoPKiNSON. Want me? (rises and crosses R.) DUESINGHAM. YeS (HopiNSON crosses hastily to them.) Just put your name to the settlement will you? Got it handy, Smethurst? Smethurst. (arranging papers) I have it here, Mr. Dursingham. DuRsiNGHAM. Right 0— (Tie goes hack to the The Duchess and sits l. of her on settee) Smethurst. This is the deed of settlement which has been discussed and approved — HopKixsoN. Hold hard— I must chip in there — (l. of talle) Smethurst. What is the matter now, Mr. Hopkinson ? Hopkinson, There's bin a new clause shoved in about provision to children if any — and — I don't sign till it's made a bit more clear— 7 98 MR. HOPKINSON. Addleton. Do you mean to say, sir, you are daring to show hesitation? HoPKiNSON. Daring he blowed — fair's fair — The Duke. My dear Mr. Hopkinson — {at fire- place) HoPKiNSON. If this lump of money is to be passed on to a little Thyra or an infant Samuel — without my having a word to saj- — Smethdrst. It is in strict accordance with precedent — and was always included in the deed. Hopkinson. Think I can't read — it's been chucked in at the last moment. Smbthurst. I deny it. Addleton. Your conduct is disgusting Mr. Hopkinson. The Duke. You have the personal assurance of Mr. Smethurst. Hopkinson. Very likely, your Grace — but law- yers are lawyers — (sits) — my late father often said " show me a lawyer and I'll show you a thief." (Smethurst rises angrily.) Smethurst. I must really withdraw from the case — you will kindly place the matter in other hands {retiring from taMe, up c.) The Duke. My dear Smethurst — {folloivs him up c. and remonstrates) The Duchess. Otho, they've got loose — you'd better see to them again. DuRSiNGHAM. {crosstug over, e., hastily) Oh Lord goodness — now what is it? (c.) Addleton. Mr. Hopkinson having grossly in- sulted Mr. Smethurst is unwilling to sign the settlement and is moreover causing a return of my internal disquietude. DuRSiNGHAM. {to Hopkinson) Come here. (c.) Hopkinson. {rising) It's all tommy rot, Dur- MR. HOPKINSON. 99 singham. (rises and moves c.) DuEsiNGHAM. (taking him aside) Come here I tell you — do you want to be howled at in every paper and laughed at in every club? HopKiKsosr. Little Thyra or infant Samuel — (c.) DuRSiNGHAJM. Do you Want to be kicked? HopKiNSON. Well but — DuRSiNGHAM. Do you waut to be kicked into the street? Because I'll see (c.) — to that. HopKiNSON. I don't know that I do. DuRSiNGHAM. Then tell Smethurst it was only your fun — and sign the paper quick — or what I promised will happen inside two minutes. HoPKiNSON. I'm not one for cherishing bad blood. DuRSiNGHAM. All Tight — here I say Smethurst he wants to kiss and be friends, (up c. a Mt) Smethurst. I have no desire to appear unduly sensitive — but if Mr. Hopkinson — HoPKiNSON. I may have spoke too hasty — hope you'll overlook it. (up c.) The Duke. To oblige me, Smethurst. Smethurst. Mr. Hopkinson's apology is quite suflScient. (goes back to top of taile) The Duke. I'm sure we're all much relieved. (l. of table) (Thet return to the table — Dursingham again goes over to The Duchess.) The Duchess. Eather an awkward team — aren't they? (on settee l.) Dursingham. I know I shall end by kicking Hoppy — I can feel it comin'. (on settee l.) The Duchess. Why not Addleton? Dursingham. Well there would be more scope with Addleton. Smethurst. There is no reason why the two deeds should not be signed simultaneously, 100 MR. HOPKINSON. The Duke. A very valuable suggestion (l. c.) you have no objection, Mr. Hopkinson? HopKiNSON. No, your Grace, I'm quite agree- able^ The Duke. What do you say, Addleton? Addleton. Braceborough — I am in pain. The Duke. Not coming on again? (c.) Addleton. I greatly fear so. The Duke. Well, I assume we may rely on you after the present paroxysm. (Addleton groans.) Smethurst. Quite ready, Mr. Hopkinson? Hopkinson. Have you got a J. nib? I always use a J. Smethurst. Mr. Dursingham — DURSINGHAM. Hulloa — Smethurst. We shall want you. Dursingham. No rest for the wicked — {cross- ing, R. c.) — what is it now? Smethurst. Will you sign this as co-Trustee? Dursingham. Oh that's better. Hopkinson. Where do I put it? Smethurst. There — ■ ' (Hopkinson signs) thank you — now put your finger on that seal and say I deliver this as my act and deed — Hopkinson. What say? Smethurst. You must stand up — I deliver this as my act and deed. (The Duke pulls Hopkinson up.) Dursingham. Get on with it. (l. c.) Hopkinson. I deliver — wait a minute — I meant to ask before — who pays for the stamp on this document? Dursingham. Oh damn, {goes up c.) MR. HOPKINSON. 101 (The Duke crosses to The Duchess.) HoPKiNSON. It's all very fine — but — it's a ten and sixpenny touch at least — and^ These little things mount up you know — right's right — and I think Lord Addleton ought to — (Addleton groans.) (DuKSiNGHAM down again.) The Duke. We will indemnify you over that, Mr. Hopkinson. [at talle e.) HopKixsoN. Very good — then I deliver this as my act and covenant — Smethurst. Deed — ■ Hopkinson. I deliver this as my act and deed. What rot. {goes up c.) Smethurst. Thank you — Mr. Dursingham — (handing pen) Dursingham. (signs) There that lets yon out. (The Duke signs agreement at table r.) Smethurst. Now Lord Addleton, will you sign the endorsement of the mortgage ? (Addleton groans.) Addleton. I am in doubt whether I can main- tain an erect position. Smethurst. Perhaps with a little support. Addleton. Desist sir. Smethurst, you're tick- ling me. Smethurst. (tries to lift Addleton — fails) It will need collective support — Duke may I trou- ble you? The Duke. Eh what? — Oh by all means. (crosses to r. of table) (Together with much effort They raise Addle- ton, who groans at intervals.) Dursingham. Can I do anything? 103 MR. HOPKINSON. HoPKiNSON. Shall I lend a hand? {drops to table) The Duke, (gasping) Give him a pen — the strain is — very appreciable. Addleton. I deliver this as my act and deed. (DuRsiNGHAM puts pen into Addleton 's hand who signs standing hut is held up hy The Duke and Smethuest. They then replace Him in chair.) Smethurst. (wiping his forehead with hand- kerchief) Thank you, Lord Addleton. (HopKiNSON brings jewel case down from table to The Duchess, l.) The Duke, (fanning Himself) Smethurst, you'd probably like a glass of sherry ? (at fire- place.) Smethurst. Later on, Duke, I shall be glad of it — Mr. Dursingham may I trouble you again? Dursingham. Righto — (signs) Smethurst. I am obliged — that releases every- body. (During this, Hopkinson has gone up and fetched the jeioel case and has shown necldace to the The Duchess — He noiv returns to table and re- places it.) The Duchess. Can we all go ? How very nice. (Dursingham returns to Her.) The Duke. Feeling better, Addleton? Addleton. I think Braceborough, there is a lull. (Eliza comes in quietly, l. u. b.) Smethurst. (toho has replaced papers in hag) Well Lord Addleton I will wish you good day — - and a speedy and complete recovery, (goes up c.) Addleton. Thank you, Smethurst. MR. HOPKINSON. 103 (The Duke joins Smethurst, up c.) Eliza, (to Tee Duchess) I beg your Grace's pardon (c.) The Duchess. Eh — oh it's you, Brown — Lady Thyra want anything? (on settee l.) Eliza. No, your Grace — I only wished to ask your Grace what is going to be done about me? The Duchess. How do you mean ? (HoPKiNSON suddenly catches sight of Eliza and hurries to her.) HoPKiNSON. What are you doing here? I'm surprised at you Eliza, (l. of Eliza) Smethurst. Good bye, Duke. The Duke. Good bye — (moves to fireplace) Eliza. If you please, is that the lawyer gentle- man? (c.) Sjiethurst. Yes, I am a lawyer — what then? (top of tahle) Eliza. I don't think you'd better go if you please, (c.) Smethurst. Why not? Eliza. Not till it's settled what's going to be done about me. The Duke. Who is this? The Duchess. Thyra's maid. HopKiNSON. Yes — she's our new maid — but she don't feel up to taking the place — (aside) — get out, Eliza, (steps down) Addleton. That is the young person I saw last niglit— and it struck me the attitude Mr. Hopkin- son adopted towards her reflected credit on neither. HopKiNsoN. She's a bit hysterical — go along my girl — I'll settle with you afterwards. Eliza. If you please, I'd rather settle now. HOPKINSON. (to The Duchess) You know 104 MR. HOPKINSON. she's balmy — slie ain't responsible for what she sajs. (crosses up to Sjiethurst) The Duchess. What's wrong with you, Brown ? Eliza. If you please your ladyship, I'm not Brown, I'm Dibb. HoPKiNSON. There she don't know her own name — {to Smethuest) — she's balmy on the crumpet, (l. of Smethurst) Eliza. I'm Eliza Dibb — I thought you wouldn't wish to have no scandal. The Duchess. Scandal? (Addleton groans.) The Duke. But what's the point? Sjiethurst. You'd better be a little more ex- plicit, (moves c.) HoPKiNSON. There's no occasion for that, she's balmy, '(r. of Smethurst) Eliza. I used to walk out with Mr. Hopkinson — that was before he came into his money — and hs took me to Hampton Court and offered mar- riage in the maze. (Addletox groans.) It was on a Shrove Tuesday. Hopkinson. Balmy — (to Addleton) Addleton. Silence. Smethurst. What proof have you? Eliza. Cornelian bracelet — silver locket — and r.iug — (Smethurst takes them) Smethurst. I thought you meant Mr. Hop- kinson's photograph? Eliza. No — present from Worthing. (gives him mug) Smethurst. No evidence. Eliza. And his letters — Smethurst. Oh — (takes them to tahle and ex- amines them) MR. HOPKINSON. 105 HoPKi.xsoN. (fGllowing B.IM) You ain't going to read a private correspondence? (between Ad- DLETON and Smethurst) Sjikthuest. As a lawyer, it is my duty to read many such — ■ HoPKiNSON. Very degrading profession, (goes up R. c.) Eliza. I thought you'd rather I spoke now than in the church — because I am a just cause and impediment — and you might have all had to step into the vestry — whereas now if something can be done — I might for ever hold my peace. DuRsiNGHAM. (to The Duchess) This is a howlin' mess — what? The Duchess. Nuisance — but everybody's signed — it would have been worse ten minutes ago. Smethurst. This demands careful considera- tion — Dibb — (rises) — I should say Miss Dibb — kindly withdraw to the other end of the room will you. Eliza. Then I'm not to go? Sjiethuest. By no means. (Eliza goes and sits on chair at lack, up c.) Duchess, may we have the advantage of your ad- vice? The Duchess. Come along, Otho. (sits on chair, table r.) (Otho chair up table e.) (The Duchess and Dursingham join the rest at table.) (HoPKiNSON moves c.) Smethurst. Mr. Hopkinson, I am sorry to say several of the letters tend to confirm the young woman's statement. 106 MR. HOPKINSON. HopKiNSON. Oh well, as to that — Smethukst. One is signed your faithful lover — and husband that is to be — Samuel. Addleton. Disgraceful ! Smethurst. And below I notice — one — two — yes — fourteen crosses — which I presume possess the usual significance in these cases. Addleton. Disgusting ! HoPKiNSON. You might remember I was young and headstrong — but when I stepped up the lad- der — I saw my duty and chucked her. (crosses to settee and sits) Addleton. Could an action for breach of promise be started with any prospect of success? SsiETHURST. I greatly fear so. Addleton. And this, Braceborough, is the son-in-law you and your wife have foisted on me. The Duke. Confound it, Addleton, what the Devil do you mean by foist? Addleton. What 1 say, sir — restore that mort- gage which I have been swindled into signing. The Duke. Swindled ! If you were not an elderly relative, in rather indifferent health, you would be ejected from the premises. Addleton. Restore the mortgage deed, Mr. Smethurst. The Duke. Mr. Smethurst will do nothing of the kind. (e. of Addleton's chair) The Duchess. (l. of table e.) Addleton, don't you think you'd better go slow — there are tons of people invited to the wedding and the papers have all shouted about it — but what you've got to fix your eye upon is this — It's your declar- ation — it doesn't really matter a straw to us. The Duke. Quite so. Addleton. What do you suggest, Mr. Smeth- urst? Sjiethuest. a compromise. MR. HOPKINSON. 107 (Addleton groans) DuRSiNGHAM. Daresay the whole thing can be stewed down into coin. Smethurst. There will be no harm in ascer- training the young person's views— (calli7ia) — Miss Dibb— Eliza, (rising) Yes, sir. Smethurst. Kindly step this way — (Eliza advances c.) What are your ideas as to a possible solatium of a pecuniary description? HoPKiNsoN. Yes — Eliza what little sum would you have the face to ask. Eliza. Five thousand pounds. HoPKiNSON. What! Why it's redicklous ! (on settee l.) Smethurst. Is that the smallest sum you would accept? Eliza. I think the letters are worth it, sir. Smethurst. Very well — will you kindly with- draw again — we will consider your offer. (HopKiNSON rises) (Eliza curtseys and goes lack to her chair, up L. c.) Now what is the general feeling on the subject? The Duke. It's an expensive alternative but as a mere onlooker I should advise agreeing to it. (looks at Hopkinson) Smethurst. That is my own opinion. The Duchess. I think so too. Dursingham. Pay up Hoppy, and look pleas- ant. Hopkinson. (rises and crosses to taile n.) It's all right for you to talk that way Dursing- ham— you've never got into the habit of paying for things — and don't know what it feels like. 108 MR. HOPKINSON. (Smbthurst rises and goes up r. c.) Addlbton. Write a cheque sir, at once. HoPKiNSON. No, I shan't — I'll see her boiled first, {going up to top of table) Addlbton. Are you again daring to interpose objections? HopKiNSON. {at top of table) I'm not going to take over the whole lump — I'm not the only one in this — it ain't only my credit that has skid- ded — we're all in it together — fair's fair and I say the amount ought to be pooled. Addlbton. Pooled sir! {leans bade) HopKiNSON. Pooled. The Duke, {gets up to top end of ta'ble) Do you suggest we ought to get up a subscription among us — to preserve your reputation. HOPKINSON. Asking pardon, your Grace — our reputation, (l. c.) The Duchess. Oh no — the Duke and I are out of it. The Duke. Obviously, {bach again to fire- place) DuRSiNGHAM. You ain't goin to hand round the hat to me? HopKiNSON. I am willing to head the list — tell you what — I'll pay half — twenty-five hundred — but not another bob. {bangs ta'ble) Addlbton. Half sir! The Duke. Mr. Hopkinson ! Ddesingham. Pon my solemn soul! Hopkinson. I will withdraw — like Miss Dibb — to another corner of the apartment — while you arrange how the rest of it is to be (Smbthurst moves to table again.) made up. {goes over and sits 'by Himself, on chair L.) ME. HOPKINSON. 109 Smethuest. Well now, what is the general view? DuRSiNGHAM. Pleasant little gentleman — what? The Duchess. Of course, it's just a question for Addleton. Addleton. What is a question for me? The Duchess. Whether squaring it is worth your while. The Duke. That, of course, is the point, (at fireplace) Smethuest. Precisely. Addleton. Is it even faintly supposed that I am to contribute the balance of the five thousand pounds? The Duke. Well, my dear Addleton, who else should? SiiETHUEST. (rises) Your Lordship will prob- ably remember how much is at stake — your daughter's painful position in the event of any open scandal — (Addleton groans.) the extreme imminence of the marriage — Mr. Hop- kinson ought undoubtedly to furnish the whole sum — but as he appears determined to vie with your Lordship in a spirit of economy — I would really recommend meeting him half way. Addleton. Call him over — I will do as you advise — no constitution would bear such a strain and I must not forget that my grandfather died of apoplexy. The Duke. No — quite so — I should keep it carefully in mind. Smethuest. (rises) Mr. Hopkinson. HoPKiNSON. (returning to tahle e.) Well how's it to be? Cashier forward or what? Smethurst. Lord Addleton consents to make lip the — 110 MR. HOPKINSON. HoPKiNSON. Five thou — ? Smethuest. The five thousand. Addleton. Under protest. Smethuest. Under protest. HoPKiNsoN. {producing cheque 1)001;) All right, Where's that J. Pen? Smethuest. Lord Addleton, have you your cheque book? (DuESixGHAM rises.) (HoPKiNSON stands and signs cheque.) Addleton. (sadly) Oh yes. (He and Hopkinson hath sign cheque. Hopkin- SON goes up c.) Smethuest. Miss Dibb, will you again step this way? Eliza, {coming down) Yes sir — Smethuest. We have decided to agree to your price — exorbitant though it is. Eliza. Don't you think the loss of Mr. Hop- kinson is worth it, sir? Smethuest. On that point, I hesitate to offer an opinion — here are the two cheques — {goes to Her c.) — each for two thousand five hundred pounds — they are open cheques as I presume you have no Banker? Eliza. Not as yet. Smethuest. Very well — we shall retain the letters as security — but as to the other things^ {hach to taMe) — Eliza. Oh, I should wish the cornelian brace- let — and the silver locket — and the mug put among the wedding presents — good day, sir. (Smethuest puts things on taile c, r. of Hop- kinson.) Smethuest. Good day. Eliza, {moves to The Duchess) Good day, MR. HOPKINSON. Ill your Grace — I'm very sorry to have caused your Grace any inconvenience. The Duchess. Not at all Brown. Eliza. Dibb ! The Duchess. Oh yes — of course — not at all Dibb— you only made the best of a strong hand — I should like to have you for a partner at Bridge — Good day. Eliza, {goes up c.) Mr. Hopkinson — HoPKiNSON. Don't dare to speak to me Eliza — your craving for money is simply sickening — I never wish to see your face again — • Eliza. I wouldn't make too sure-^one never knows what may happen. Good day, Mr. Hopkin- son. {goes up quietly and goes out, l. u. b.) The Duke. And now I think we may be said to be in smooth water at last. Addleton. I see nothing smooth about it — I prefer the Channel. The Duchess. I suppose we can all go? {rises and crosses over l. c.) Smethurst. There is nothing further to de- tain your Grace. The Duchess, {up l. c.^ ahove settee) That's a mercy — Oh — I say, Otho, look here — {crosses over L. to Dursingham.) The Duke, {crossing to centre) Very good then, that's quite satisfactory. I must look in at the Club for half an hour. Well, Mr. Hopkinson — we shall meet again shortly under the auspices of Hymen, {crosses c, in front of Hopkinson) Hopkinson. Hymen, your Grace — does he do the catering — ? 1 thought it was Gunter. (c.) The Duke. Ah — at any rate— it's only a brief "au revoir" {goes up c. to Smethurst) Mrs. Smethurst, very well I hope? Smethurst. (d. c.) Very, your Grac&— she and I are to have the privilege of being included among your guests to-day. 113 MR. HOPKINSON. The Duke. Are you? I'm delighted — I haven't the faintest idea who is coming — but I shall be charmed to see everybody — good-bye for the present. My dear Gawthorpe ! {As The Duke is going, Lord Gawthorpe enters followed liij Lady Thyra, l. u. e.) The Duchess. Thyra ! Addlbton. Thyra! {at fireplace) HoPKiNSON. Thyra! {sitting l. of taMe, up stage) Addleton. What is my daughter doing in such disgraceful company on an occasion like this — or on any occasion. Gaavthorpe. (to Thyra, c.) Don't say any- thing — leave him to me. The Duke. Probably a casual meeting. (R. c.) Gawthorpe. No — we met by appointment — we've just been married. Everybody. Married ! Gawthorpe. Thought you'd be astonished, be- cause I don't do this kind of thing as a rule — but when it came to it — Thyra didn't fancy the other arrangement, and so I got a special license and we were married about half an hour ago. Addleton. If I correctly gauge the enormity of — (at ^fireplace) HopKiNSON. This is a pretty blooming game. Addletoij. Kindly permit me to speak, Mr. Hopkinson — if this abominable marriage has realh' taken place — • Gawthorpe. There's no doubt about that— we did think of getting away quietly — leaving a note to explain — but the Duke and the Duchess have been unusual good to Thyra — and to me too — Addleton. That T can quite believe. Gawthorpe. So we thought it would be more ME. HOPKINSON. 113 like cricket to say good-bje instead of leaving a P. P. G. ^ Addleton. Eemembering her recent surround- ings — it is perhaps not remarkable that my daughter should have cast aside the restraining influence of decency — and — The Duke. Addleton mine is usually an even temper — but — (e. c.) Addleton. And married a man who — Gawthorpe. Lord Addleton — {takes a step forward) — your daughter could have done bet- ter — Thyra. No, she couldn't ! {steps forward and puts her hand on his shoulder) Gawthorpe. Steady old girl — she could have done better no doubt — but Mr. Hopkinson is here to prove she might have done worse. HoPKixsoN. What say? Addleton. She has married a man whose rec- ord for universal profligacy — • Gawthorpe. Hold on — everybody — Thyra in- cluded — knows all about me. She didn't marry me in blinkers — but I've no use for any more of that kind of talk — and while you're digging up records, you might cast your eye back to 1885 when you made London so hot, you must have found Madrid a pleasant change. Addleton. Leave the house, sir! Gawthorpe. It isn't your house particularly, but we're going — {huttoning up his coat) Addleton. You will never see my face again — Gawthorpe. We take that as a promise given in the presence of witnesses. Come along, Thyra — Good-bye, Duke. The Duke, {shaking hands with them) My dear Thyra — {kisses her, lack of settee) — where are you going? Addleton. To the Devil! 114 MR. HOPKINSON. Gawthorpe. Not immediately — Paris first to buck us up — Good-bye, Duchess. (They shake hands) (The Duchess and Thyra exit l. u. e.) HoPKiNSON. Lord Gawthorpe — half a mo — (rises and crosses to Gawthorpe) Gawthorpe. What is it, Mr. Hopkinson? HoPKiNSON. Where do / come in ? Gawthorpe. You don't come in — ^you stop outside. Good day, sir. (exit) (Hopkinson moves down to settee and sits r.) Smethurst. {coming down) I ventured to remain Duke, during the recent family discus- sion, because I thought a legal difficulty might arise but now — The Duke, (c.) My dear Smethurst — very considerate of you — and if Addleton will only see things in a reasonable light — [crosses b., in front of Smethurst) Addleton. (advancing) To you, Bracebor- ough, I have nothing more to say — but I am also glad Mr. Smethurst has not withdrawn pre- maturely, because I have a painful duty to per- form. The Duke. What painful duty? Addleton. It is my intention to repossess my- self by force if necessary (goes for hag) of that mortgage deed which was obtained by fraud — (Smethurst gets tag.) The Duke. Fraud! (crosses tehind Addle- ton's chair and moves r.) Smethurst. I fail to understand, Lord Addle- ton. (r. c.) Addleton. Give up that, bag sir — (seising it) The Duke. Certainly not — (trying to hold Addleton hacJc) MR. HOPKINSON. 115 Smethurst. I shouldn't think of such a thing — ■ {There is a struggle.) Addleton. Give me that bag, Mr. Smethurst. The Duke. Hold on to it, Smethurst. Smethurst. Rely on me, Duke — (struggling) HoPKiNSON. How about my marriage settle- ment? Smethurst. (l. c.) I really can't answer legal questions at a moment like this. HoPKiNSON. Then, I'll have a cut in! [down stage, also seising iag) Smethurst. Desist Mr. Hopkinson — (Start going round.) (DuRsiNGHAM comes down to Hopkinson.) Dursingham. Come off, Hoppy. (Hopkinson renewing attempt.) Addleton. It is useless to struggle, Mr. Smethurst — I am, I believe, the weightier man — (also renewing attempt) The Duke, (holding him hack) Addleton, remember your apoplectic grandfather — Hopkinson. Little Thyra or infant Samuel. Smethurst. I have never been subjected to such treatment — (They all sway round during this — talking loudly and incoherently — Smethurst with a violent effort throws them off.) Smethurst. Lord Addleton — in reference to your unwarrantable attack — I have merely to say this — that if, after consultation with a medical man, I find I have sustained any internal injury, which is by no means impossible — you will hear from me — Mr. Hopkinson your fears are ground- less as to the settlement which ceases to be valid. 116 MR. HOPKINSON. (Enter The Duchess, l. u. b.) HopKiNsoN. That's a bit of cabbage stalk out of the dust bin. (sits e. of settee) Smethurst. Good day, Duke, (going up l. c.) The Duchess. Have something before you go? Smethurst. Nothing, I'm obliged to you — I've — had — far more than I require — good day your Grace. The Duchess. Good day. (Smethurst goes, r. u. e.) (The Duke and The Duchess and Dursingham meet up c.) HopKiNSON. (sitting on settee l.) Good day — jolly bad day for me — (takes out note-hook) — Well my Lord — (To Addleton) — -you've copped the Cleopatra, but look at me — loss of Thyra — who don't seem to know her own mind — Dursing- ham's thousand — that don't look rosy — twenty- five hundred to Eliza Dibb — • Addleton. (rises and crosses to Hopkinson) Eliza Dibb — that brings another nefarious detail to my recollection — surely Mr. Hopkinson you will refund my two thousand five hundred? Hopkinson. Eefund ! You will have your lit- tle joke, my Lord. Addleton. (l. c.) Joke sir! But I will not trouble you — I shall at once stop the cheque — (going up c.) The Duke. Not going, Addleton? (e. c.) Addleton. Yes, Braceborough — I am — and in shaking the dust of your draughty and disrepu- table mansion from my feet — I must insist that all further intercourse between us may finally cease. The Duchess, (steps forward) We are quite MR. HOPKINSON. 117 ready to meet you over that. It's the first really sensible suggestion you've made. Addleton. I shall seek the purer atmosphere of Claridge's Hotel. (Lord Addleton glares all round and goes sol- emnly out — HoPKiNSON sits left — looking over Ms note 'book — the other three form a group with their hacks to him.) The Duke, {up r. c.) Well now, the present state of affairs will want a little reconsideration. The Duchess, {up c.) Not to any great ex- tent — Otho dear boy — go and send wires and put everybody off, will you? And afterwards, you might lunch me somewhere. DuEsiNGHAJi. Quite right — we shall have earned it. Dook — got any change ? {up c.) The Duke. Afraid I haven't. DuRSiNGHAii. {going) Ta ta — Hoppy — got any change about you? HOPKINSOX. No. DuKSiNGHAM. I'm uot augry with you, old man. It was a forlorn hope. (DuKsiNGHAM goes out quickly, l. u. e.) The Duke. I'm running away for a week or two — some — friends of mine are going to Monte Carlo. The Duchess. The Daubeneys? The Duke. Yes. The Duchess. My dear fellow, quite so — good bye, if I don't see you before you start. The Duke. You'll make my adieus to our friend there — (They shake hands.) The Duchess. Oh yes, you needn't bother. The Duke. Thanks— good-bye. {he goes, k. u. e.) 118 MR. HOPKINSON. The Duchess, (comes down to Hopkinson) Well, Mr. Hopkinson, I'm afraid our Alpine climbing hasn't shaped well. I undertook to haul 3 ou up the mountain, and I hauled for all I was worth, and, if we didn't get there, it was because the rope broke, so you mustn't blame the guide. I wish you better luck next time. (She liolds out Tier hand — He takes it — She goes up a feiv steps.) HoPKiNSox. Of course, your Grace, I haven't made at all a good thing of it — ( She turns and looks at him.) I was just reckoning up how much I'm out of jtocket — The Duchess. Really? I'm sorry — If you remember I warned you — you might find us rather expensive, but you must try to think as pleasantly of us as you can. Good-bye. Hopkinson. (a little cowed) Good-bye, your Grace. (She goes.) (He crosses to chair e., and again adds up figures in his note 'book.) (Eliza comes in cautiously in doorway l.) Eliza. Mr. Hopkinson ! Hopkinson. [startled) Is that you, Eliza? Eliza. Yes — don't you think you'd better marry me? I've come into money. Hopkinson. {eagerly) Have you cashed those cheques? Eliza. Yes. Hopkinson. Both of 'em? Eliza. Both of 'em. ME. HOPKINSON. HO HoPKiNSON. Go and wait for me round the corner and we'll talk it over. (Eliza goes out as she came — quietly and rapidly. He rises, looking more cheerful, and puts away Ms note ioolc — then buttons up his coat and goes towards upper door — there he turns sharply as if struck by sudden thought — goes to table where the presents are laid out — takes the case containing Ms necklace — opens it — shuts it again — puts case under his arm and goes deliberately but jauntily towards the door — as he does so the curtain falls.) THE PLAYS OF R. C. CARTON. IS. 6d. each. LADY HUNTIVORTH'S EXPERIMENT. LIBERTY HALL. MR. HOPKINSON. SUNLIGHT AND SHADOW. THE PLA YS OF H. V. ESMOND. IS. CJ. each. BILLY'S LITTLE LOVE AFFAIR. ONE SUMMER'S DA Y. WHEN WE WERE I^WENTY-ONB. WILDERNESS, THE PLAYS OF MADELEINE LUCETTB RYLEY. IS. 6i]. each* AN AMERICAN CITY. fEDB UR Y JUNIOR. MICE AND MEN. THE PLAYS OF OSCAR WILDE. t% 6d. each. IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNEST^ LADY WINDERMERE'S FAN. LONDON: SAMUEL FRENCH. LIMITED. The Plays of HENRY ARTHUR JONES Cloth, 2e. 6d. net. THE HYPOCRITES. THE GALILEAN'S VICTORY. THE LIARS. MRS. DANES DEFENCE. THE MANCEUVRES OF JANE. THE SILVER KING. THE MIDDLEMAN. THE DANCING GIRL. THE CASE OF REBELLIOUS SUSAN. JOSEPH ENTANGLED. THE MASQUERADERS. SAINTS AND SINNERS, (js. 6d.) THE BAUBLE SHOP. WHITEWASHING JULIA. JUDAH THE CRUSADERS. THE TEMPTER. THE TRIUMPH OF THE PHILISTINES. MICHAEL AND HIS LOST ANGEL. THE ROGUES COMEDY. THE PHYSICIAN. CARNAC SAHIB. THE LACKEY'S CARNIVAL. THE PRINCESS'S NOSE. CHANCE, THE IDOL. THE CHEVALIER. THE HEROIC STUBBS. Just Published. "EPISODES, " PRICE 1/= NET, CONTAINING SIX UP-TO-DATE MONOLOGUES FOR BOTH SEXES 1. The Cheat. 2. Concerning a Carpet 3. Enid. 4. Her Husband. 5. The Failure. 6. The Believer. Nos. J, 8, and 6 are for representation by Ladies. 2, 4, and 5 by Gentlemen, SAMUEL FRENCH, Ltd., 26, Southampton Street, Strand. London.