STUDENTS' FACSIMILE EDITION 
 
 Westward Hoe 
 
 Written by Thos. Dekker and 
 John JVebster 
 
•w-H 
 
 lt.07oL 
 
 STUDENTS' FACSIMILE EDITION 
 
 Westward Hoe 
 
 Written bv Thos. Dekker and 
 John Webster 
 
 Date of the first known edition . 1607 
 [B.M. Press-mark C. 12, f. 3 (4.)] 
 
 Reproduced in Facsimile . 
 
 1914 
 
 Qlontell ItuuOTitg &tbrarg 
 
 BOUGHT WITH THE INCOME OF THE 
 
 SAGE ENDOWMENT FUND 
 
 THE GIFT OF 
 
 Stents HI. Sage 
 
 1891 
 
 B,.3>^-.fe.5.^., lljlSUiJb, 
 
 m 
 
Cornell University Library 
 PR 2491.W4 1607a 
 
 West-Ward Hoe.As it hath beene diuers 
 
 3 1924 013 129 030 
 
Cornell University 
 Library 
 
 The original of this book is in 
 the Cornell University Library. 
 
 There are no known copyright restrictions in 
 the United States on the use of the text. 
 
 http://www.archive.org/details/cu31924013129030 
 
d) 
 
 -WARD 
 
 HOE- 
 
 iAs it hath heene diuers limes JBed 
 by the Children o/Taules. 
 
 Written by Tho: Decker, and 
 IohnWebtter. 
 
 
 J 
 
 Printed at London, and to be fold by Iohn Hodgets 
 dwelling in Paules Churchyard. 
 I 6 o 7 
 
 E.V. 
 
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 .' '■ ' ' 
 
 VVEST-VVARDHOE 
 
 Scmhi Lohdonj^K 
 
 M& 
 
 1 
 
 tA&us Trimus, Scana *Pm 
 
 inter tMiftrisTHrdlittii AtidTajleur. 
 
 Iriltme. Stay Taylour, This is thcHouft, 1 
 pray thee looke the gowne be not rufled : as 
 for the Jewels and Pretious Stones, I know 
 where to finde them ready prefently . Shee 
 that mull wore this gowne if (be wil receiue 
 it,ls Maifler luftinuwos wife(che Italian Mat- 
 chant) my good old Lord and Maiftcr, thae 
 hachbecnc aTylter this twenty yeere,bath fent it. Mum Taylor, 
 you are a kindeofBawdcTayior,ifthisGentIewomans Husband 
 Awuldchanncetobee in the way now, you (hall tell him that I 
 keepe a Hot-heufc in Gunpowder Ally Vneere crouched Fryers) 
 and that I haue brought home his wiues foule Linnen, and to co- 
 lour my knauery the better,I haueheere threeor foure kindcs of 
 complexion, which I will make iheweof to fell vntoher :the 
 young Gentlewoman hath a good Gtty wit, I can tell you, (h ee 
 hath red in the Italian Courtyer, that it is a fpeciall ornament to 
 gentlewomen to haue skill in painting. 
 Taylour. Is my Lord acquainted with her ? 
 
 Taylor. FaithMiftris2J<r<&wwIdofi nor commend my Lordes 
 choycefowellmowmethinkeshe were bettcrtofct spa Dairy, 
 and to keepe halfea fcoreofluity wholefome honeft Coumrey 
 Wenches. \ 
 
 A 2 'SirtL 
 
 . 
 
IVEST-lfARD HOE. 
 
 tBW.HoneftCounrrey Wenches, in what hundred {ball a man 
 find two of that fimple vertuc { 
 Tay. Or to loue ibme Lady, there were equality and coherence, 
 "Bir. Tay lor,you talk like an afle,I tel thee ther is equality inough 
 betweene a Lady and a Citty dame, if their haire be but of a co- 
 lounnamc you any one thing that your cittizenc wife corns (hort 
 of to your Lady . Theyhaue as pure Linncn, as choyce painting, 
 louc green e Gee fc in fpring, Mallard and Tcalein thefall, and 
 Woodcocke in winter. Your Cittizens wife learnes nothing but 
 fopperies of your Ladie, but your Lady or Iuftice-a-pcace Ma- 
 dam, carries high wit from the Citty, namely, to rccciuc all and 
 pay all : to awe their Husbands.to check their Husbands, to con- 
 troule their husbands ; nay , they hauc the tricke ont to be fick for 
 a new gowne, or a Carcaner, or a Diamond-, or lb : and I wilt this 
 is better wit, then to Uaruchow to wearea Scotch Farthingale: 
 nay more.. 
 
 €nter r Prentifr. 
 Heere comes one of the feruants : you remember Taylorthat I 
 am deafe : obferue that, 
 
 Taylor. I thou art in that like one of our young Guiles, that will 
 n»t vndetflandany wrong is done him, becaufc he e dares not an- 
 fwer it. - - 
 
 Bird. By your leaue Batcheller : is the gentlewoman your Mi* 
 lhisitirring? 
 
 Print. Yes (he is moouing* 
 Bird. What fayeshc ? 
 Taylor. SheeisYp. 
 
 , Bird. Whercs the-Gentleman your Maifier, prayyou ? *, 
 Tr. Wher many women defire to haue their husbands,abroad. 
 Bird. I am very thic ke of heann g. 
 TV**/. Why abroad /you fmell ofthe Bawd. 
 'Bird. I prayyou tellkerheresan olde Gentlewoman would 
 Ipeakc with her. 
 Brent. So. 
 
 Taj. What, will you be deafe to the gentlewoman when dice 
 comes to ? 
 Btrd.O no,ihees acquainted well inough with my knaucry. 
 Enter tktM*rch**Uiriti, 
 
 She 
 
WJST-IVARD ffOE. 
 
 She comes. 
 How do you fweet'Ladie ? 
 
 Ma. fVtft. Lady." 
 
 Bird. By Gods me I hope to call you Lady care you dye, what 
 miftris do you fleepe well on nights. 
 
 M. Wtfe, Slcepe, I as quietly as a Clyent hauing great bufinefle 
 with Lawyers. 
 
 Bir. Come, I am come to you about the old fuitrmy good lord 
 and nwiflcr hath fentyou a veluet gowne heare: doe you like the 
 colour? three pile, a pretty fantastical 1 trimming, I would God 
 you would fay it by my troth. I dreamt laft night, youlooktfo 
 prettily, fofwectly.mc thought fo like the wifetTLady ofthcmal, 
 msveluetgowne. * 
 
 iMWife, Whats the forepart V. 
 'Biri.k very pretty ftutFe,I know not the name of your forepart, 
 but tis of a haire colour. 
 
 M- tTift. That it was my hard fortune, beeing fo well brought 
 vp>hauin» fo great a portion to my marriage,to match fo vnlucki- 
 ly. ? Whymy husband and his whole credit is not worth my ap- 
 parell.wcll, I'ffiall vndergocaflrange repottin leauing my hof- 
 band. 
 
 "Bird. Tiiffi, if you refpeft your credir,neuer thlnkt of that,for 
 beauty couets tich appatcll, choycc dyet, excellent Pby ficke, no 
 German Clock no Mathematical! Ingin : whatfoeuer requires fo 
 much reparation as a womans face, and what meanes hath your 
 Husband to allow fweetDoflerGlifterpipe, his pention.I haue 
 heard thatypahaue threescore Smocks, that cott three poundes 
 aSmocke, willthefe (mockes euer holdout with your husband? 
 no,yourlinnenandy»ur apparcll mud turne oueranewleafel 
 can tell ) ou. 
 
 Taj. O admit ab!e Bawd? O excellent BJrdBu V, 
 
 "Bird* I haue heard he loued you before you weremarryed 
 intyrely, what of that?! Kaueeuer found it molt true in myne 
 cwne cxperyencc, that they which are moft violent datards 
 before their marryage arc moft voluntary Coucouldes af- 
 ter. Many, ate honed, either becaufe they haue not will, orbe- 
 caufe they haue* not opportunity to be difhoneft , and this 
 Italian your Husbands Countryman, holdcs it impoffible any of 
 
 A3. ■ - - t ^ cij . 
 
 BU 
 
> v west-ward hoe: 
 
 their Ladies ftiould be excellent witty, and not make the Ytter- 
 moft vfe of their beamy, will you be a foole then ? 
 M. Wift Thou do'ft perfwadc me to 111, very well. 
 'Bird. You are nice and peeuifh, how long will you held e out 
 thinke you i not fo long as Ofieud. 
 
 Enter Iufl'mUmc >the UMkrckaxt. 
 ' Paflion of me, your husband? Remembcrthat Iamdeafe,and 
 thatlcometofellyou complexion; truely Miftris I will deale 
 *rery r eaicn ably with you. 
 Iufl. What ate you ? Say ye 1 
 Bird. I forfooth. 
 
 I/tJr. What my moft happy wife? 
 —■tMufrfi Why your Iealioufie ? 
 
 Iufl. Iealioufie : in faith I do not feare to loofe ' 
 that I haue loft already : What are you t 
 "Bird. Pleafe your good worfhip I am a poor Gcntlew©man,tri at 
 caft away my lelfc vppon an rnthrifty Captaine> that Hues now in 
 Ireland, I am fainc to picke out a poore liuing with felling com- 
 plexion, to keepe the frailty fas they fay) honcft. 
 tnfli. Whats he ? complexion to ? you are a bawd. 
 'Bird. I thanke your good worfhip for it. 
 Iufl. Do not I know thefe tricks, 
 That which thou makeft a colour for thy finnej 
 Hath beene thy firft vndoing ? painting, painting. 
 
 Bird. I haueofall forts forfooth ? Hcere is the burned powder 
 of a Hogs law-bone, to be laide with the Oyle of white Poppy, 
 an excellent**/ to kill Morphew, weede out Freckles , and a 
 moft excellent ground-worke for painting; Heere is Cjininuny 
 like wife burnt, and puluetized, to be mingled with the iuyceof 
 L)'mmons,fublimateMercury>andtwofpoonefuls of the flow- 
 ers of Brimftonc.a moft excellent rcceite to cure the flufhing in 
 the face. 
 
 lufti. Doe you heare, if you haue any bufinefTc to difpatch with 
 that deafegoodncfl'ethere,pray you take lcauercpport unity ,that 
 which moil of you long for (though you neuer bee with ChildJ 
 opportunity ? l!« find fome idle bufincflc in the mean time, I wil, 
 I will in truth, you fhall not neede feare mc,t>r you may fpeake 
 Frcnch,moft of your kindscan vnderfland French s god buy you. 
 
 Being 
 
WEST-WARD HOE. 
 
 Being certaincthou art falfe:fleepe,fleepe my braine, 
 for doubt was onely that, which fed my paine. Exit Injf. 
 
 Ma. W(fe. Youfcc what a hcl I Hue in, I am rcfolu'd (o Icauc 
 
 "him* 
 
 "Bird. O the mofl (brtunat Gem!ewoman,that wiil be fo wife, 
 and fo, fo prouidctu, the forocbt ihall come. 
 I Otf. Wife. At what houre ? 
 
 ( 7iird.I\m when women & vintners are a cunioring a' midnight. 
 O the entertainment my Lord will make you, fivcet Wines, hrfry 
 dyct, perfumed lmnen,foft beds, O moft fbrtunat Gentle wo. 
 man. 
 
 Enter Iufliniano. 
 
 Tuff. Haueyoudone ? haue you difpateh ? tis well,andin troth 
 what was themotion ? 
 
 M- Wife. Motion, what motion i 
 ' ^?«.Motion,why like the motion in law,that ftaies for a day of 
 near'mg,yours for anight of hearing. Come lets not haue Apri'l 
 in your eyes I pray you,k fhewes a wanton month followes your 
 weepinglLouea woman for her tea's J Let a man loue Oifttrs 
 for their water, for women though they fhouldc weepe licour 
 enoughtoferueaDyer,oraBrewer,yet thcymay beeasflale^s 
 Wenches,that trauaileeucry fecond tyde betwecne Grajes cn.ie, 
 and Billingfgate. * 
 
 MtJWtft This madneffc fliewes very Well* 
 InJl.Wny lookeyou, I an wondcrous merry, can any man dif- 
 ccrnebymy face,thatlama Cuckold?! haue known.many fuf- 
 pefledformenofthis misfortune} when they hayc walkttho- 
 row the ftreetes, weare their hats ore their eye-browes, like polli- 
 tick pen:houfes, which commonly make the fhop of a Mercer,©* 
 a Linnen Draper, as dark as a roomc in Bedlam. His cloak fhrou- 
 ding his face, as ifhc were a Neopolitan that had lofl his beard in 
 Aprill, and if" he wa'k through the flreer.or any other narrow road 
 
 ("as tis rare to meetc a Cuckold) hee duckei atthe pemhoufes, 
 ike an Antient that dares notfiourifhat the oath taking ofthe 
 Prettt, for fcare of the figncpofls ? Wife,wife,do I any of thefer 
 Come what nc wes from his Lordfhip^has not his Lordfliips ver- 
 f ue once gone a^ainft the hairc,and cout ted corners. 
 AijVift. Stf j by. my fouie I will be pUine with yon. 
 
 lufli. 
 
west-ward hoe: 
 
 Lift. Except the forehead dcere wife, except the forehead. 
 xJKcl Wife. The Gentleman you (pake of hath often folia- 
 ted my loue, and hath receiucd from me mofl chaft denials. 
 
 /«/?. I,I> prouoking refinance, cis as if you come to buy wares 
 inrheCicty, bidmony forr, your Mercer, or Gold- fmithfayes, 
 Iruely I cannot take it, lets his cufloraer paffe his flail ; next, nay 
 
 Eerhaps two, or three, but tfhefinde he is not prone co returne of 
 imfelfc, hec call him backe, and backe, and takes his naony : fo 
 you my dcere wife, fO thepollicy of women, and Tradfmcn: 
 theile bite at any thing.) 
 
 M. Wife. What would you haue me do ? all your plate and mod 
 part*fyourIeweIsareatpawne,beiidesI heare youhauemade 
 ouer all your efta:e to men in the To wne beer .' What would you 
 haue me do' f wouldyou haue mec turae common (inner, or fell 
 my apparell to my waftcoat and become a LandrclTe f 
 
 Ittft, No Landrcflc dcere wife, though your credit would goe 
 farre with Gcntlemfh for taking vpofLiunen :noLandrefl«? 4 
 
 M. Wife. Come, comc,4will fpeake as my misfortune prompts 
 trie, Icalioufie hath vndone many a Cittizen, it hath vndone you, 
 and me. You married me from theferuiceof an honorable Lady, 
 and you knew what matches I mought haue had, whatwouldc 
 you haue me to do ? I would I had neuerfcene your eies, your 
 eies. * 
 
 lufl. Very good, very good. 
 
 (JW . wrft. Your prodigality.'your diceing, your riding abroad, 
 your conforting your felfe with Noble men, yout building a i'um- 
 mer houfe hath vndone vs, hath vadoone vs .' What wouldyou 
 haue me doe.' / 
 
 Iufti. Any thing : I haue fold my Houfe, and the wares int ? 
 I am going for Stoad next tide, what will you da now wife f 
 
 LMa. Wm. Haue you indeed ? 
 
 lufl. I by this light a Is oae,I haue done as (brae Cittizent at thir- 
 ty, and mofl hcires at three and twenty, made all away, why doe 
 you not aske me now what you (hall do i 
 
 CMa.fVife. Ihauenocounfellinyourvoiagc, neither (hall yott 
 haue any in mine. 
 
 lufl. To his Lord/hip : wil you not wife i 
 
 Ma. H'tf. Eucn whether my misfortune leades »«. 
 
wtsrwjuD HOE. 
 
 Infl't, Got, no longer will! rrukemy care thy pri/on- 
 Af.Wifc.O roy fate; well fir, you fliall an/were for thisfinne 
 vhich you force mee to; fare you well, let not the woildcon- 
 demne me, iflfeeke for mine civile maintenance. 
 
 /*/?. So, fo. 
 At.Wtfe. Donor fend me any letters} do not feekc any re- 
 concilement. By this light He rcceiue none.if you will fend mee 
 any apparell Co, ifnot choofe, 1 hope we fliall neare-me etc more. 
 
 ExitMa.mfe- 
 
 lufli. So, farewell the acquaintance of all the mad Deuilsthat 
 haunt leal ioufie, why fhould a man bee fuch an afl'e to play the 
 amick for his wiues appetite? Immagine that I,or any other great 
 man haue on a veluet Night- cap, and put cafe that this night-cap 
 be to little for my cares or forehead, can any man tell mee where 
 my Night-cap wringes me, except I befuch an afl'e to proclaims 
 it; Well, I do play the foole with my mitfortune very handfom- 
 ]y. I am glad that I am certaine of my wiues dt&oncHy $ for a fe- 
 cretmumpet, is like mines prcpard to mine goodly bui'dings. 
 Farewel my care,I haue told my wife I am going for Stoad; thata 
 not my courfe, for I relolue to take foflje fhape vpon me, and to 
 hue difguifed heere in the Citty * they fay for one Cuckolde to 
 Inowe that his friend is in the like hcad-ake, and togiuchitn 
 counfcll.is asif there were twopartners, the one to bee arretted, 
 the other tobaile him : my cftate is made ouer to.My fricnds,that 
 doc verily beleeue, I meane to leaue England.Haue amongft you 
 Citty dames ? You that arc indeedethc fittcft, andmoft proper 
 perfons for a Comedy, nor let the world lay any imputation vp- 
 on my drfguife, for Court, Citty, and Countrey, are roeerely as 
 maskes one to the other, enuied of fome, laught at of others, and 
 fo to my comicall bufinefle . Sxtt [»JHniwe x 
 
 Enter Ulitafifr Tenttrkeofa his Wife, (JMttjler Mgtio- 
 ply, a Scr'ptet/crtndtfitjhcire. 
 
 7>».Moll. 
 
 CMoll. What would hart? 
 
 Tnter. Whercs my entire, are the fummes right? Arc the 
 bonds ft aid I 
 
 B 
 
 berUAx!. 
 

 WESTWARD HOE, 
 
 5CT**«.Yeafir. 
 
 Tent. Will you haue the bags feald t 
 
 tJMom. O no fir, I mult disburs inflantly ,• we that be Courty- 
 ers haue more places to fend mony to,then the diuellhath to fend 
 hisfpirits: theres a great deale of light gold. 
 
 Tent. O fir, twill away in play, and you will flay till to morrow 
 you (hall haue it all in new foucraignes. 
 
 Monj, No.iu- troth tis'no matter, twill a way in pi ay, let me fee 
 the bond . ? letme fee when this mony is to bee paid ? the tenth of 
 Auguft. The firlt day that I mufl tender this mony, is the firft of 
 Dog-daies. 
 
 Scrm*. I feare twill be hot flaying for you in London then. 
 Tent. Scriuener, take home the bond with you. 
 Will you (ray to dinner fii?Haue you any Partridge Moll ? 
 
 Moll. No m-troth hart } but an excellent pickcld Goofe.a new 
 fcruice : pray you ftay. 
 
 M»m. Sooth I cannot: by this light I am fa infinitly,(« vnboun- 
 dably beholding to you . ? 
 
 Tent. Well Siguier, He leauc you ; My cloakc there t 
 
 CMoll. When will you come home hart ? 
 
 Tent. Introth felfc I know not, a friend of yours and mine 
 hath broke. 
 
 <J*ff//.Whofir? 
 
 Tent. Maifter lujlmano the lulutn . 
 
 Mdl. Broke fir. 
 Tent. Yea footh,I was offi ed forty yefterday vpon the Exchange, 
 to a fibre a hundred. 
 
 <JWol. By my troth I am fbrry. 
 
 Ton. And his wife is gone to the party. 
 
 Mol. Gone to the party ? O wicked creature.' 
 
 Tent. Farewell good maifter UWonepolj, I pre- thee vifit mee of* 
 icn. Exit Tenter. 
 
 Olio**. Little Moll, fend away the fellow/ 
 
 Md.Pbi\\. Phillip. 
 
 Servant .Heert forfoorh. 
 
 MtU.Ga into Bucklers-bury and fetch me two ounces of pre- 
 sented iMclemteh leoke there be so Tobacco taken in tbfc&oppe 
 ■wVienne weighesit. 
 
 Sir. 
 
WEST-WARD HOE. 
 Str.l forfooth. 
 
 cJWww. What docyoueateprcferuedMelonnes for Moll.' 
 LMol. Introchforthc fluking of ihe hart, I hauc hecrc fomc- 
 time fucha fhaking, and downwards fuch a kind of earth-quake 
 (as it were.) 
 
 Mono .Doeyouheare, let your man carry home my niony to 
 theotdinaty, and lay it in my Chamber, butlet turn not tcJlrr.y 
 hoftthatit ismony: Iowehimbutfoftypound.andtliePogueis 
 hafty.he will follow me when he thinki I hauc mony,and pry in- 
 to me as Ctowcs perch vpon Cation, and when he hath found it 
 out, prey vpon me as Heraldes do vpon Funerals. 
 
 dfoi. Come, come, youowc much meny inTowne: when 
 you hauc forfeited your bond, I fliall nearc fee you more ? 
 
 (JMiw.YouareaMonky, lie pay him tor's day: He fee yon to 
 morrow to. 
 
 Mel/.By my troth 1 loue you very honcftly.you were neuer the 
 gentleman oflrrcd any vnciuility to me,which is ftrange mcthinks 
 in one that comes from beyond Seas, would I had giuen a Thou* 
 (and found I could not loue thee fo. 
 
 kMqho. Do you heare,you flwll fainefomc fcuruy dyfeafe or «^ 
 ther, and go to the Bath n«xt fpring, 
 
 Enter LMittris Homfuckle, tud OWt/trts ff^rfcr. 
 lie meete you there. 
 Horn, By yoiir eauefwcetmiftrisTcmerhooke. 
 m.'V. O, how doft partner f ~ 
 
 Mono. Gentlewomen I Itaycd for a mod happy wind, and now 
 the breath rromyourfwcet,(weetlips,<liould let me going -.goo4 
 xt\ii\r\% Hamfwkle\ good miftrisff^pr, good miftris Tenterbookft 
 I will pray for you, that neither riuallfruppe in loues, purenefse of 
 painting, or riding ootcftown,not acquainting each other with- 
 it, be acaufcyourfweetbeautycsdofallout, andraile one vpon 
 another. 
 
 Wafer. Raile fir, -we do not vfe to railc. 
 mohj. Why nultris, railing ii your mother tongue as wella* 
 lying. 
 /Joiy. Bur, do you thinltc we can fall out ? 
 Mono. In troth beauties (asonc (pake ferioufly) that there 
 Was no inheritance in the amity of Pimccsj fo ihmkc] o! Wo. 
 
 Bz aacn, 
 
WESTWARD HOE* 
 ■men, too off en inf erviewes amongfl women, as among!! Princes, 
 breed s c n uy oft tool hers fortune, there is only in the amity of vwo- 
 mcnaneflatcforwilljandcuery puny knowes that is no ccrtame 
 inheritance. 
 
 Wafer. You are merry fir. 
 
 M,no. So may lleaue you moflfortunaf gentlewoman. Exit: 
 (JMoH. Loue flioots heare. 
 
 w*f. Ttnterhaoke, what G ent leman is that gon out/ts He a man? 
 Hony. O God and an excellent Trumpctter, 
 He came lately from the vniuerfity, and loues Citty dames only 
 fur their victuals, he hath ap excellent trick to keepe Lobrters and 
 Crabs fweet in fummcr, and calsit a dcurfe to prolong the dayes 
 of Ihel-fifh, for which I do fufpeel he hath beene Clarke to foroe 
 Noblemans kitchen. 1 haue heard he neuer loues any Wench, tell 
 flicc bee as Hale as Frenchmen eate their wildc foule, I (hall anger 
 her. 
 
 Mel. How flafe goocTMiftris nimble-wit I 
 Ho»y. Why as dale as a Country Oftes,an Exchange Sempflerj 
 or a Court LandrelTe. 
 
 Mel. He is your confin.how your tongue runs ? 
 Hony. Talke and make a noife, no matter to what purpofe , I 
 haue lcarn'd that with going to puritan Lectures . I was yeflerday 
 ata banquet, wilyod difcharge my ruffes of foraewafers,and how 
 doth ihy husband Wafer \ 
 
 Waf. Faith very well. ■ ' jp 
 
 Honj. He is iuft like a Torchbe arerto Maskers.he wears good 
 doathet.and is rankt in good compaqy.but he doth nothing: thou- 
 art fame to take al, and pay all. ■ 
 
 Mol. The more happy (he, would I could make fuch an affc of 
 my husband to, 1 heare fay he breeds thy childcin his teeth eucrie 
 yeare. / 
 
 Waf. In faith he doth. 
 
 Hony. By my troth tis pitty but thefoole fhouldc have the o'het 
 two paines incident to the head. 
 Waf. What are they i 
 Hony. Why the head-ake and horr.e-sfcr. 
 I heard fay that he would haue had thee nurfl thy Childe thy felfr 
 to. • W*f. That h© would truely. 
 
 Hoy* 
 
rrEsrrrjRD-HOE. 
 
 How. Why iherei the policy of husbands to keept their Wines 
 in. Idoe.afltireyouif a Woman of any markeable face in the 
 Worlde giueherChilde fucke, looke how many wrincklrs be in 
 the Nipple of her bread, fo many will bee in her forheade by that 
 time twelue moneih : bur firra.we are come to acquaint thee with 
 an excellent fecret : we two Icarne to write. 
 
 CktoL To write / 
 ! Hany. Yes belecuc it.and wee haue the finefl Schoole ma'tfter, a 
 kind of Prccifion,and yet an honed knaue to ; by my troth if thou 
 btefl a good wench let him teach thee, thou may fl fend him of a* 
 ny arrant, and trull him withany fecret; nay.to fee how demure!/ 
 he will beare himfclfc before our husbands ,and how iocond when 
 their backes are turn'd. 
 
 Mol. For Gods loue let me fee him. 
 f W*f. To morrow weele fend him to thee: ti! then fweet Tenter- 
 hook we leaue thee, wifhing thou maift haue the fortune to chagc 
 thy name often. 
 
 Mol. How i change my name t 
 
 W*f. I, for thecues and widdowei loue to fhifr many names, and 
 make fwec t vfe of it to. 
 
 Mol Oyo* area wag indeed.Good Wafer umttabtt my fchool 
 inafler.Farcwel good Honrfitrf>le t 
 Htnj. Farewei Ttnttrbooke. £xetn*, 
 
 tAflus Secundus ScanaTrima* 
 
 Enter "Beniftue a prentice br lifting his LMaifters cloahg 
 
 Enter LMafler Honifuckje in hit night-cxf 
 trujjinghimftlfe. 
 
 Bony. 2?*Mf/*r; , make an rnde oftny cfbakeandCap. 
 'Bon. 1 haue difpat ch em Sir : both of them lye flat at your rner- 
 «ie. 
 
 Honj, Fore- god mt thinjee* my ioyrrts are nimbler euery M or, 
 
 Bj nirj 
 
WEST-lVARD'tiOE. 
 
 ningfincelcameouerthen they were before. In France when! 
 rife, I was lo (tifFc, and ib ftarke.I would ha fwornc my Legs had 
 becne wodden pegs : a Conftable new chofen kept not fuch a pc- 
 ripatencall gate : But now I'mc as Lymbet as an Antiant that his 
 flourifht in the rainc, and as Acliue as a Norfolk tumbler. 
 Bon. You may ice, what change of patture is able to doe. 
 
 Hmtj. It makes fat Calues in %u>my Marfh, and Icanc knaues 
 in Z,M»<fo#: therefore 2?«/M/a«keepe your ground : Godsmy pit- 
 ty, my forehead has more cromplcs, then the back part of a coun- 
 fellors gowne, when another rides rppon hisneckeat the barrc : 
 "Boniface take my helmet: giueyour miftns my night- cap . Are 
 my Antlers Avolnc fo big, that my biggen pinches mybrottcs; 
 So, requeft her to make my head-piece a little wyder. 
 
 Hen. How much wider fir. 
 
 Horn. I can allow her almof t an ynch : go,tcll her fo, yery neere 
 an inch. 
 
 Bon. Iffhebeea right Cittizens wife, now her Husband hat 
 giuen her an inch, flicclc take an ell, or a yard at lcaft. £xit. 
 
 Enter Siguier Iufliniano the (JMercbnnt, Ukg 4 wrjt'm£ 
 
 Utfectnicall Pedant. 
 
 Bony. M ai ftcr Ttrmhefi ! Sake, Saint Domirrt. 
 
 Iuslt. Safa e tn qnofy : Iubeo tefa/uerepljtrimtmt. 
 
 Hon. No more Plnrimnms if you loueme, lattinwho'e-roeatet 
 are noweminc'd.and ferudein forEnglifh Ga'.limafries : Let 
 vs therefore cut out our vplandifli Ncatcs tongues, and talke like 
 regenerate Brittnms. 
 
 Infi. Your wormip is welcome to England : Ipowrd outOri- 
 fons for yourarriuall. 
 
 Honj.l htrkt good maifter Pmvmhefis : ixi&Quentuelles : what 
 newes flutters abroad f doe lack-dawes dung the top of Paulel 
 Steeple Hill. 
 
 Iujit. Thefliorc is the pitty.if any dawes do corae into the tem- 
 ple, as I fcare they do. 
 
 Hony. Thcv (ay (Tiaring-crojfe is falnc downe, fince I went to 
 KeeheUx but thats no fuch wonder, t wasold, and Wood awry (as 
 moll part of the world^an tel.) And (Lo it lack vndcr-propping. 
 
WEST-WARD HOE. 
 
 yet (like great fellowcs at a wraftling)when their hteles are once 
 flying vppe, no man will faue em ; downe they fall, and there let 
 them lye, tho they were bigger then the Guard : Cktiring-croffc 
 was olde, and olde thin ges muft flirinke afwcll as new Northern 
 cloth. 
 
 luft. Your worfliip i« in the right way verily : they mufl fo,but 
 a number of better things between Weflminftcr bridge and tem- 
 ple barrc both of a worfhipfull, and honorable erection, are falne 
 to decay.and hauc fuffred putrifaelion, fincc Charing fell, that were 
 not of halfe fo long Handing as the poore wry-neckt Monument. 
 
 f/wy.Whofe within there? One ofyou call vp yourmillris.' 
 tell her hceres her wryting School emaftcr. I had not thought ma- 
 tter Parcnthcfti you had binfuch an early ftirrer. 
 
 Ittfli, Sir, your vulgar and fourc-peny-pen-men, that like your 
 London Sempftcrs keepc open fhop, and fell learning by ret ailc, 
 may kcepe their beds , and lie at their pleafurc : But we that edi- 
 fiein priuite, and traffick by whole fale, mufl be vp with the lark, 
 becaufe like Country Atturnies, wee are to /huffic vp many mat- 
 ters in a for-enoone. Certes maificr Hofii(Hck[e y I would (ing Lans 
 jDee,(o I may but pleafc al thofe that come vnder my fingers : for 
 it is my duty and function, Perdy, fo be feruent in my vocation. 
 
 Ho. Your hand : I am glad eur Citty has fo good, fo necefTary, 
 and lb laborious a member in it: we lacke painfull and expert pen- 
 men amongfl vs. Maimer Ptrenthtjts you teach many of our Mer- 
 chants firj do you not f- 
 
 luft. Both Wuies, Maides, and Daughters : and I thanke God, 
 the very worft of them lye by very good mens fides : I picke out a 
 poorc liuing amongfl em- and lam thankefiill for it. 
 
 Ho. Trufi me I am not forry : how long hiue you excrcizd this 
 quality .' 
 Jmfl. Come Michiell-tide next, this thirteenc yeare. 
 
 /foAndhowdoes ray wife profit vnder youfir?hop«youto 
 do any any good vpon her. 
 
 luft. Mamer Homfutkle I am in great hope mee fhall fructify : I 
 will do my beilfor my part : I can do no more then another man 
 can. 
 
 Hoy. Pray fir ply her, for /he is capable of any thing. 
 
 7*^. So far as my poorc tailent can ftrctch, It fhallnoc be hid- 
 den fro jrther, H#«> 
 
WEST-WARD HOE. 
 Hony, Does flic hold her pen well yet ? 
 I*fti. She leanesfomewbat too hardvppon her pen yet fir, fcut 
 praflifeand animaduerfion will breakc hcrfromthar. 
 Hatty, Then (he grubs her pen. 
 luift. Ics but my paines to mend the neb agen. 
 Honj. And where abouts is ftiee now miiiht PareKtke/ii} Shee 
 was talking of you this morning, and Commending you in her 
 bed, and told me (he was part h r letters. 
 
 /«/?.Truely fir (he tookc her letters very fuddenly randis now 
 inherMinoms. 
 
 Hony. I would flic were in her Crotchets too maifler Tarentbejts : 
 ha-ha, I muHtalke mcrily fir. 
 
 lufti. Sir fo long as your mirth bee voyde of all Squirrifiry, tis 
 not vnh'r for your calling: I truft ere few daies beeatanendto 
 haue her fal to her ioyning : for (he ha* her letters ad vnguem : her 
 A. her gteat B. and her great C. very right D. and E. diheate : hir 
 aoubleF.ofa good length, but that it ftraddels a little to wydc : 
 at the G . very cunning. 
 
 Heuy. Her H. is full like mine : a goodly big H- 
 7«/?/.Buther: double LLis wcl : her O.ofa reafonableSizerat 
 her p. and q. neither Marchantes Daughter, Aldermans Wife, 
 youngcountrey Gentlewoman,nor Couriers Miftris, can match 
 her. Hony. And haw herv. 
 
 7*/?.Youfir,Shc fetches vp you beftofal: her fingleyoufhecaii 
 
 fafbion two or three waies : but her double you, is as I would 
 
 wifhit. 
 
 Ho And faith who takes it fafter; my wife,or miftris Tentirkotki 
 
 Infl. On I Your wife by od* : fheelc take more in one hower, 
 
 then 1 can fatten cither vpon miftris Tfnterhoolg, or miftriswafer, 
 
 or Miftris FMpdragoti fine Brewers wile) in three. 
 
 Enter Iudytk, H$ttj/fuckle bis wife. 
 
 Hcny. Donotthychcckesburneiwectc chuckaby, for wee are 
 
 talking of ihce. fad. No goodnefle I warrant.- you hauefewCit- 
 
 lizcns fpeake well ot their wiues behind their backs : but to their 
 
 faces theile cog worfeand be more fupp'ianr, then Clyents that 
 
 fue \n forma pxper: how does my mafter. ? troth lam a very trcwant: 
 
 hsue you your %uler about you maifter f 'or look you, I go cleane 
 
 awry, hjii, A fraail fault : moll of ray fcbollcrs do fo «• looke you 
 
 fir 
 
r '"**' ,";' ItESt-lVJRDHOE. 
 fir, do nor you think* your wife will mend : markc her dallies, & 
 her ftrokes.and her breakings.and her bending*:" 
 ', Hofiy. She knovves what I haue promt her if fliee doe mende : 
 say by my fay Fude, this is well, if you would not flic out thus,but 
 keepe your line. 
 
 Fud. 1 dial in time when my hand is in : haue you a new pen for 
 mee Mai Her, for by my truly, my old one is (lark naught, and wil 
 call no inck : whether are you going lamb ? 
 
 Hon). To the Cuftome-houfe : to the Change, to my V Vare- 
 houfc/o diuers places. 
 
 Fud. Good C°l e farr y no{ P 3 ^ eleuen, for you turne my ftomak 
 then from roy dinner. 
 
 Houy. I wil make more haft home, then a Stipendary Swizzer 
 does after hees paid, fare you well M aider Parenthefu. 
 
 Fud, I am fo troubled with the rheumc too : Moufe wbats good 
 forte' Hony, How oft tn haue I tolde you, you roufi get a patch I 
 mud hence. " Exit. 
 
 Fud. I thinke when als dpne.T mud follow his counfell, and take 
 a patch, I haue had one long ere this, but for di ("figuring my face : 
 yet I had noted that a mafltckc patch vponfomc woraens Tem- 
 ples, hath bin the very rheuwme of beauty. 
 
 Fufl. Is he departed^Is old Neper marcht into Troy ? 
 
 Fud. Yes you mad Greeke: the Gentlemaris gone. 
 
 Fufl. Why then clap vp coppy-bookes : downe with pens, hang 
 vp inckhorncs, and nowe my fweete Hor.ijuckhe, fee what golden- 
 winged Bee from Hybla, flies humming, with Crura thyme plena, 
 which he wil empty in the Hiuc ofyour bofome. 
 
 Fud. From whom. 
 
 Fttfl Attheskirteof that fiieetein blacke workc is wrought hys 
 name, brealce not vp the wildfoule, till anon, and then feed vpon 
 him in priuate : theres other irons i'th fire : more fackes are coro- 
 - mingfo the Mill. Oyoufweet temptation? of the Tonnes of t/f- 
 dxm, Icommende you, ex'ol vou,m.ignifie vou: Were IaPoet 
 bvFFipocrenel ("weare, (which was a certains Well where all the 
 M'-ifes watred) andbv I'ern.ijpssekc I fweare,! would rime you to 
 death w'th praifes, for that' yo-i can bee content to lye w'nholdc 
 men all ni?,r>t for their mom', and wallc to your °ardcns wi:h vong 
 men i'th day time toryour pleaiure : Oh you delicat damnations : 
 . " : C you 
 
WEST-WARD HOE. 
 
 you do but as I wud do : were I the pfopreft, fiveetcfl, pluropcft, 
 Che ny-chcekt, Cor rall-hpt woman in a kingdome,! would not 
 daunce after one mans pipe. 
 
 I; H. And why - ? 
 
 Ittft, Efpecialiy after aw old manr . 
 
 /;/«'. And why , pray ! 
 
 //iff. Especially after an old Cittizcns. 
 
 lud. Still and why. 
 
 A/'/.ManybecaufeiheSuburbes, and thofe without thebars, 
 hau« more priui'edge then they within the frcedome : what need 
 one woman doatcvpon one Man c'Orone man be mad like Or- 
 f,i>;do for one woman. 
 
 IttdJXioih tistrue,confidcring how much flefh is in eucry Sham- 
 bles. /*</?. Why fhould I long to eate of Bakers bread onely,when 
 the res lb much Sifting, and bolting, and grynding in cuery cor- 
 ner of the Ckty ; men and women arc borne, and come running 
 into the world fafter then Coaches dec into Cheap-fide vppon 
 Sjmottmd Zwk/dayrand are eaten vp by Death fafter,then Mut- 
 ton and porridge in a terme time. Whowould pin their hearts to 
 any Siecue: this world is like a My nt, we arc no fooncr aft into 
 the fire, taken out agen, hamcrd, ftampt, and made Currant, but 
 prefrntlyweeare<hangdc:thenewMony (like anew Drab) is 
 catchtatby Dutch, SpaniiTi,Welcb,French> Scotch, and Eng- 
 lifh:butthcoldcracktKing//4rr)'gr«ates arc fhoueldvp,fcele 
 bruzingi and battring, clipping, and melting, they fmoakeierr. 
 /«^.The worlds an Arrant naughty-pack T fee,and is a very Icur- 
 uy world. Infl. Scuruy ? worfe then the conference ofa Broome- 
 man, that carryesout new ware, and brings borne old (hoes: a 
 naughty-packc ? Why theres noMinutc, no thought oftimc pal- 
 i"es,but fome villany or other is a brewing : why.eue" now,now, 
 zi holding vp of this finger,and before the turning downe ofthis, 
 fome are murdring,iibme lying with their maides, fome picking 
 of pockets,fome cutting purfeSjfomccheatingjfonieweyingout 
 bribes. In this Citty iome wiucsare Cuckolding fome Husbands. 
 In yonder Village fome farmers arc no w-now grynding the law- 
 bones of the pooje : therefore fwecte SchoIler,fugred Mains He- 
 nifuckle, take Summer before you, and lay hold of it ? why, ewn 
 now muft you and 1 hatch an egge of iniquity. 
 
 Jui 
 
iPES7~fP$XD I/OE. 
 
 fid. Yro'.h nmftet I tlnrJeethotiwflrBrotiea vctykmm, 
 [aft. Ito die fault afanr>y that fight vnder this band. 
 
 /W. ifhall lone a Puritans face the worfe whtleft I liueforth.it 
 Coppy of thy countenance. 
 
 fuji.Wc arc all wcthercocks, and miift follow the windeof the 
 pre! cut : from the byas. 
 
 Itti. Change a bowle then. 
 
 lafi. I will fo ; and no w for a good cart : there* the Knighl/Ir 
 CjofinCjh-worme. 
 
 lad. Hccs a Knight made out of waxc. 
 
 I«I7. He tookc vp Silkcs vppon his bond I confeflc.- Bay more, 
 bees a knight in print : but let his knight-hood be of what (lamp 
 it will, from him come I, to intreareyou, and Miftns Wafer, and 
 nntlris 7V«f«'^i^bcingboth my khollers, and your honcfl pew 
 fel'owes, to mccc him this afternoon at the Rhcnefh- wine- houfe 
 ithStillyard. Czptzinc jybirlepoole will be there, young hyHjiock^ 
 the Alder-mans Son and He ice, there too, will you licalc ibnh,& 
 tartofaDutchBun, and a Keg of Sturgeon. 
 
 lud. What ext.ufe fhall I coyne now ? 
 
 htjl. Few cxcules : You mult to the pawne to buy Lawnc .• to 
 Saint Martins for Lace 5 to the Garden:to thcGlafle-houfe; to 
 yourGoffips : to thcPowlters:elie takeout an old ruffe, and go 
 to your Sempfters : excufes ? Why; they arc more ripethenmed* 
 hrsatChriftunas. 
 
 W.IIe come.The hotVef. 
 
 iufi. Two : the way-chrough Panics : euery wench take a pilfer,, 
 rhereclaponyoiir Maskes • ycurmcR will bee behmdyou, and 
 before yourprayersbehalfeJon, bebeforeyou, & man you cut 
 acfeueralldoorcs.Youlebe there? lud. If I breath Exit. 
 
 lud. Fareweli. So: now mull 1 goe fet the tothcr Wenches the 
 felfefame Coppy, A rare SchoIem3i(lcr, lor all kind ofhandes, I, 
 Oh: What firangecurfes are powrcd downewith oncbldling, 4 
 Do al! tread onthehcele ? Haueall the art to hood- winke wife 
 men thus? And ( like thofe builders of BttbeWTcmtt) tolpcake. 
 TMknowne tongues. Of ail ffaue by their husbands) vnderflood - 
 Wcll,;f ( as Iuy bout the EInie does twine,) 
 All wiues loue clipping, thcres no fault in mine. 
 
 d Ba? 
 
 -^ 
 
 ■ 
 
WZSr-WARD HOE. 
 
 But ifthe world lay fpeeihlcs.eucn the dead 
 
 Would life, and thus cry out from yawning graucs, 
 
 Women make men, or J'oclcs^or Bcads^or blaues. Sxli, 
 
 Sam 2 . € nter Bustle and tJMifttu Birdlime. 
 
 Sarle, Her anfwer | falkein mufick : Wil (he come? 
 
 "Bird. OI» my fides ake in my loiius,in my bone8. ? J ha morenecd 
 of a poller of facte, and lie in my bt d and fweate, than 10 talke in 
 mulick : no liondl woman would run hurrying vp & down thus 
 and vndoe her fclfe for a man of honour, without reafon ? ] am lo 
 lame, :uery foot (hat I fee to ihe ground went to my hart. I thoght 
 1 had bin at Mum-chance my bones railed fo with iaunting.'had i: 
 not bin for a friend in a corner. Takes ts4q*a-vit£. 
 
 lhad kickt vpmy heeles. ; 
 
 Carl. Miniffcr comfort to me.Wil fhe come. 
 
 Bird. AU the Cafiles of comfort that I can put you into is this, 
 that ihe ieafous vvittaljier husband, came (like a mad Oxc)below- 
 inginwhiia I was thrr.Oh I ha loll my fweetbreth with trotting: 
 
 Earl. Death fo my hart ? her husband ? What faith he ? 
 , Bird. The freeze- Jerkin Rafcal out with his purfe, and cal'd tne 
 plaine Bawdro my face. 
 
 Ear/. Affliction to me.then thou fpak'ft not to her J 
 
 Bird. 1 fpake to her, as Clients do to Lawieri without money (fo 
 no purpofc) but I le fpeak with hi.n.and hamper him to,if cucr he 
 fall into my dutches : lie make the ycl ow-hammcr her husband 
 knovve, (for all hees an Italian) that thcres a d'fference betwecnea 
 cogging Baud and an honcfl motherly gentlewoman. Now, what 
 coict whet Hones I v ouer your Oomachcr.'wil you hauc fotnc of my 
 Aqua : Why my Lord. 
 
 Earl. Thou hail kild me with thy words, 
 
 "Bird, i fee bafbful louers^and young bullockf s are knoclct down 
 St a blow: Comt, come,drinkethisdraught of Cynamon water, 
 and plucke vp your fpirits : vp with cn»,vp with em.Do you hear, 
 the whiting mop hisniblcd. , 
 
 £W.Ha? 
 
 "3 rd Oh? I thought I fhould fetch you: you can Ffa at that: He 
 snake you Heat anon. As Fme a finricr I think youl find the fwee- 
 
WEST.WAKVBOE. 
 
 tcit,lweete(t bedfellow of her.Oh ! flic lookes-fo fugredly, fo fitn- 
 pririgly, fo gingerly, fo amaroufly, fo amiably.Such a retjde lippc, 
 fucha V Vhite fpreheade, fuch a blackeeie, fuch a fullchceke, 
 and fuch a goodly little nofe, nowc flices in that French gowne, 
 Scotch fals,Scotch bum,and Italian head-tire youfenther, and is 
 fuch an intycingfliec- witch, carrying the chances of your Jewels 
 about her ,0ft.' 
 
 Earl. Did fhe receiue them ? fpcake : Heres is golden keyes 
 T Vn'ock thy lips. Did flic vouchfafe to take them ? 
 
 Bird. Did (he vouchfafe Co take them.thers a qutftioh : you (hall 
 find (he did vouchfafe : The troath is my Lord, I gotte her to my 
 houfe.therc fhe put offher own cloths my Lord and put on yours 
 my Lord,prouided her a Coach,Searcht the middle lie in Pawles, 
 and with three Elizabeth twclue-pences preft three knaucs my L. 
 hirdc three Liueries in Long-lane.ro man her:for al which fo God 
 mend me, I'mc to paie this night before Sun-fet. 
 
 Earl, This fhowrc fhallfil them abrainc in their laps, what gol- , 
 den drops thou wilt. 
 ^ "Bird. Alas my Lord,I do but receiue it with one hand,to pay it 
 away with another, I'mc but your Baily. 
 
 Earl. Where is (he? 
 
 "Bird. In the greene veluet Chamber; the poore finncful creature 
 pants like a pigeon vndcr the hands ofaHawke, therefore vfe hef 
 like a woman my Lord : vfe herhoneflly my Lorde,for alas (hecs 
 but a Nouice,anda veric greene thinge. 
 
 Earl. Farewcl ; lie in vnto her. 
 
 Bird. Fie vpont , that were not for your honor : you know gen. 
 tlewomen vfe to come to Lords chambers, and not Lordes to the 
 Gentlewomen; ; Ide not haue her thinke you are fuch a Rank-ry- 
 dcr: walkeyou heere : llebccken, you fhal fee ite fetch her with a 
 wet finger? 
 Sari, Do fo. {.•:■:, 
 
 'Bird. Hy (I? why fweet heart, mifrris YuJ?Miano t why prettie foule 
 iread fofilie, and come irlto this roome : here be ruOics ,you n«de 
 not feare the creaking of your cot ke riiooes. 
 
 Enter tjlttftris Iuftiniatio. . 
 So,wel faidc, theres his honour. I haue bufines my Lord,very now 
 
 C 3 the 
 
li'r sr- : ',-' a n ') fioy. 
 \\;e marks arc Co. vp; I Ic yes trie i : jftorc offhand p'tue /■ y rr e. £.v/>< 
 
 £ .';•/. If are welcome '; Sivee: y'are welcome , B'ltfle my hand 
 With die fofr touch ofyojrs : Can you be Crueli 
 To one To Produce to you ? Euen my Hart, 
 My I Iappincs, and State he at your feet : 
 My Hopes me flattered that the field was wooti. 
 That you had yeildcd, (tho you Conquer vac) 
 And that all Marb'efcales that bard your eies 
 From throwing light on mine, were quite tane oh\ 
 By the Cunning Womans hand, that Workes for me, 
 Why therefore do you wound me now with fiowne*? 
 Why do you flie me ? Do not excrcife 
 Tlie Art of woman on me 1 1'me already 
 Your Captiue : Sweet / Are there your hate.or feares. 
 
 Mtft. lufi. I wonder luft can hang at fuch whire haires. 
 Ear/. You g'tue my loue ill names, It is not luR : 
 LawIelTe defues wel tempred may fecm luft 
 A choufand mornings with the early Sunne.imine eies haue frora 
 your Mr dowe; watcht to flealc brig! itncs from thofe. Asolt vp- 
 on the daies that Confccrated to deuotion are, Within the Holy 
 Temple haue I flood difguifd, waiting y«ur prefence: and when 
 your hands went vp towards heauen to draw fome blefling down, 
 Mine(as if all my Ncrues by yours did moue,) 
 Bcg'd in dum Signes fome pitty for my Loue, 
 And thus being fcafrcd onely with your fight, 
 J went more pleafed then fickmen with frefh health, 
 Ric h men w 1 1 i H enour, Beggers do with wealth. 
 
 fJM<fl. luft. Part now fo pleafd.for now yoo more Inioy mf. 
 
 Earl. O vou do wifh me Phificke to deftroy me. 
 
 Afft, luft. I haue already leapt beyond the bounds of modefly, 
 In piecing out my wings with borrowed feathers: but you fent a 
 Sorceres fo perfect in her trade, that did fo liuely breath forth your 
 paffionatc Accents, and could drawe a Louer languifhing fo pier- 
 cmgly.that her charmci wrought vppon me, and in pitty of your 
 fick hart which fhe did Counferfet, (Oh fhces a fubtle Beldam .'•) 
 See 1 cloth'd my limbec (thus Player-hke in Rich Attyres, not fit- 
 ting mine eftate, and am come forth, but why I know not i 
 
 cm/. Will you Louc mc ". 
 
 Us 
 
VfEXTWARD HOE. 
 
 Uif.jtk/t.Yes, 
 If y oo can c'ears me of a debt thati due but to one Mac , 
 He pay my hart to thee. 
 
 Erfr/.Whofethat? ; 
 
 Mfl.IuJi. My Husband: 
 fW.Vrnb. 
 
 /U//? I»tf. The fums fo great 
 I know a kingdome cannot anfwer it, 
 And therefore I befeech you good my Lord, 
 To take this gilding off, which is your owne, 
 And henceforth eeafc to throw out golden hookes 
 To choake mine honor : tbo roy husbands poore, 
 He rather beg for him,then be your Whore. 
 Sari. Gainfi beauty you plot treafon,if y ou fuffer tears to do vio- 
 lence to fo faire a Cheeke. That face was ncre made to looke pale 
 with want. Dwell heere and bee the Soucraigne of ray fortunes. 
 Thus frail you go attir'd. 
 Mifl luft. till luft be tir'd. I mad fakclcauc roy Lord. 
 
 Earl. Sweet Creature ftay, 
 My Cofeis fball be yours,my Seruants yours, 
 My felfc wil be your feruant, and I fweare by that which I houlde 
 dcarc in you,vour beauty (and which lienor prophane) you fhall 
 liuc hcere as free from bafe wrong.asyou are from blackenclTc, to 
 you will deigne, bui let mcc inioy your fight, Anfwereroce will 
 you. Afifl.ln.fl. 1 v\ 'II tlnnke vpont. 
 
 Earl. Vnlcflc you (hall perceiue.that al my thougbts,and al my 
 actions bee to you dcuoted, and that I very iuflly earne y oar lone, 
 Let me not tart it. 
 
 Ulf-/}.]ftfl. I wil thinkevpon it. 
 
 Earl. But when you find my merits of full weight, 
 wilyou accept their wotth. 
 
 CM- ft \uft. He thinke vpont. 
 Idc fpe ike with the old woman. 
 
 Earl. She (hall come, 
 loyes that are borne vnlook t for ,are borne dumb. Exit. 
 
 CMtft. luff. Po»erty, thou bane of Chaftity, 
 Poifon of beauty, Broker of Mayden-heades, 
 I fee when Force,nor Wit can feale the hold, Wealth muft.Shecle 
 
 one 
 
i 
 
 nere be won, that defies go! de. 
 
 But hues there fuch a creature .• Oh tis rare. " 
 
 TofindeawocnanchaOjihatspooreandfairc. \ - 
 
 ~ ' ■ , Enter Birdhme. 
 
 "Bird. Now Iamb I has not his Honor dealt like an honed Noble- 
 man with you. I can tcl you. you fhal not find him a Templer.nor 
 one of thde cogging Cattern pear-Coloured-beards, that by their 
 good wis wou'd haiie no pretty woman fcapethem. , 
 Mtftru. Infl. Tliou ir t a very bawd : thou art a Diuel 
 Ca(l in a reucrcnd fhape ; thou dale damnation I 
 Why had thou me intid from mine owneParadice, 
 To fteale fruit in a barren wildernes. 
 
 Bird. Bawde and dmel.and (tale damnation ! Wil womens 
 tcunges (like Bakers legs) ncuer go draight, 
 
 Mtfiris /«/?.Had thy Circaan Magick me transfo rrod 
 Into thatfenfuall fhape for which thou Coniurft, 
 And that I were turn'd common -Vcuturer, 
 I could not louc this old roan. ', 
 
 . "Bird. This old man, vmh: this old man ? doe his hoarye haires 
 ftickeinyour domacke ? yet merhinkca Hisfiluesr haires fhoulde 
 mooueyou, they may ferue to make you Bodkins:Does his age 
 j grieue you I foole ? Is not old wirte wholefommefl,eIdc Pippines 
 ¥, toothfbmmed, old wood burnebrighfed, old Linnenwafh whi- 
 ' fcd,o!d fouldiors Sweet-hart arc furcd } and olde Louers are foun- 
 ded. I ha tried both. 
 XjWftrts.fftft, So wil not I. v ' / 
 
 Bird. Youdhauefomeyongperfurn'dbeardles Gallants board 
 I you,thatfpitsalhisbramcsoutafstongucscnd,wud)K)tfndt? " 
 t" . Utftftm.foft. No.nonsatal.notanic. "' j' >'■ '• " •' •' ^ -,* 
 Bird. None at al?-what doeyou make there tben ? why are you a 
 burden to the worlds confciencc,audan «ie-fore t© wel^ghlen me, 
 I darej^awne my gowncand al rhebeddies in my hou/e, and at the ( . 
 getrings in Michaelmas tcrme next io a Tauerne token, that thou 
 flialt neurr bc.ihinnoccnr. -.' ,\ ~ ■'. n ■. 'I" -\n. •- 
 
 ' ■ - . ' mfi/fris.. Iufl. Who are fo?" ■ ' rfnv an : .., ih * *?*' 
 . ."Bird. -Fooisrwhy then areyou Foprecizeiyoup husbands down 
 the wind.and wil you like a haglers Arrow, be down the weather, 
 Strike whilft the iron is hot. A woman when there berofa in her 
 ' •;:, ■'"■ , ■ ' '. '• cheekes 
 
 ... ■?■ ~ .*. . 
 
WEST-WARD HOE 
 
 cheekej, Cherries on her Iippes,C'met in her breath, luory in bet- 
 teeth, Lyllyes in her hand, and Lickorifh in her heart, why fhees 
 like aplay. Ifnew very good company, very good company, bur 
 if flale, like old Iw#«/»w:go« by, go by. Therefore as J faidbc- 
 fore,ftrike. Be/ides : you muft thinkethat thecommodityof' 
 beauty was not made to lye dead vpon any young womans handsi 
 if your husband haue giuen vp his Cloalcc, let another take rnea- 
 fure ofyou in his Ierkin.-for as the Cob)er,in thenight time walks 
 with hisLanthorne, the Merchant,and the Lawyer with his Link, 
 and the Courtier with his Torch : So euery lip has his Lettice to 
 himfcjfe : the Lcb has his Lafle, the Collier his Do wdy, the We- 
 ftcrnc-manhis Pug, the Scruing-manhisPunke, theftudenthis 
 Nun in white Fryers, the Puriran his Siller, and the Lordhii La- 
 dy : which worlhipfull vocation may fall vppon you, ifyoule but 
 ftrike whileft the Iron Is hot. 
 
 Mifl.Uft. Witch ahuslbreakethy Spels : Werelkeptbrsue, 
 On a Kings coft, I am but a Kings flauc. Exit. 
 
 Bird. I fee, that as Frenchmen louc to be bold, Flemings to be 
 drunke,WelchmentobecaId Brittim, and Irishmen to be Co- 
 ftermongcrs.fo, Cocknyes, (efpeaally Shee-Cocknies) loue not 
 i4c/*a-vttc when tis^ood for the m. Enter Motttfolj. 
 
 M». Saw you my vncle^ 
 "Bird. I ii w him euen now going the way of all flefhfthats to fay) 
 towardestheKitchin:heercs a letter to your worfliip from the 
 party . Mom. What party ? 
 
 "Bird. The Ttnterkot.kj our wanron. 
 
 Mono. From her ?Fewh ?pray thee flretch me no more vppon 
 your Tcnterhtckj pox on her ? Are there no Pottecaries irh To wn 
 to fend her Phifkk-bils to, but me : Shees not troubled with the 
 greene fickneffe ftill, Is (he ? 
 
 2?«r<£TheyellowIaundis,as the Do&ortels me : troth fheesas 
 good apcat : (he is falne away fo,that fhecs notlun g but bare slcin 
 and bone: for the Turtle fo mourn cs for you. LMono. In blackeP 
 
 Bird. In black ? you lha!l find both black and blew ifyou look 
 vnder her eyes. 
 
 Mo. Well : ring ouer herditty whenl'me in rune, 
 BtrdNiy, but will you fend her a Box of CMitbridatum and Dra- 
 gon Watcr,I meanefome rcftoratiue words.Good MatiSSxxMm- 
 
 D pt h 
 
WEST-lffJRD HOE. 
 
 ply yo u know how welcome yare to the Citty, and will you ma- 
 iler CftfoKopoIj, k eepe out of the Citty; I knowyou cannot, would 
 vou law how the poor gentlewoman iies.Mo. Why how lies fhe.' 
 Bird. Troth as the way iiesonet Gads-hilf, very dangerous :you 
 would pitty a womans cafe ifyou faw her: write to her forae trca- 
 tife of pacification. tJMom. lie write to her to morrow. 
 
 'Bird.. Tomorrow; fhrelc not fleepe then but tumble, and if 
 ftie might haue it to night, it would better pleafe her. 
 
 Mo. Perhaps He doot to night, farewell. 
 "Fi.If you doot to night, it would better pleafe her then tomor- 
 row. Mo. Gods To, doft heare,I'mc to fup this night at the Lyon 
 inSlicredich wilh certen gallants : caft thou not draw forth fomc 
 dilicate face, thai ! ha not fecne, and bring it thither, wut thou? 
 
 Bird. All the painters m London fhal notft'c for colour as I c.;nj 
 but we fhall hauc fbme fwaggering? 
 
 t^Mo. All as ciuiil ('by this <ight) as Lawyers. 
 
 'Bird. But Itell you,fhees not fo common as Lawyers, tharl 
 meanc tc< betray to your Tabic : for as J'mea Sinner, fheesa 
 Knights Cozen j a Yorkshire gentlwoman.and only Ipeakesa lit- 
 tle broad, but of very good carriage. 
 
 Mow. Nay rhats no matter, we can fpeake as broad as fhe» but 
 Wut bring iicr? 
 
 BircLYou fhall ca'l her Cozen.do you fee : two men fhall wait* 
 trpon her, and lie come in by chance : bur. fhall not thepaity.be* 
 there ? Mono. Which party ? 
 
 "Bird. The writer of that fimple hand. 
 
 (Jfcfw.Not for as many Angels as there belctrers in her Paper? 
 Speaks no tofmec to her, nor our meeting ifyou louemee: wot 
 come? 5W. Mum, He come. - 
 
 Mono. Farewell. 
 
 "Bird.GooA Mai fler Monopoly,/hope ro fee you one day a man 
 of great credite. <JM». If I be.llcbuild Chimnies with Tobacco 
 but lie imoakefome : and befure Bird. Ileilickc wooll vponthy 
 back. Bkd. Thankes fir, I know you wil, for all the kinrcd of the 
 Monopolies art: held to be great Fleecers. Exeunt. 
 
 Sinter ftrQozJvs : Ljtiifo^e, frhirtepoote.ondthe three CUliijns wittel 
 maskt, ludyth, Mabell, and Clare. 
 
 €oz,£o draw thafc Ortaines ; and lets fee the pi&ures vnder em, 
 
 hp. 
 
WEST-IVJRD HOE 
 
 Lr». Welcome to theStilliard fine Ladies. 
 
 All 3 . Thankes good maimer Lyr-fluks- 
 
 Whirl. Hans : fomc wine Hans. Enter II:: f with cUti mi £ni)s_ 
 
 Hmi. Yaw, yaw. you lallhebbcn it mefier: 
 Old vine, or new vine ? 
 
 Cjvz,. Spcake women. 
 
 lid. New vvme good fir Cjozjin : wine in the mu.li, good Dutch- 
 man, for mart isbefr for vj women. 
 
 Haul iVcw vine i veil : t wo pots o f new vine. Exit Ham. 
 
 hd An honed EiutcrLox.- for if ic bs old,tkere*soM ofii corns 
 into my belly. 
 
 Mib. Why Tir nt crbceke pray thcelets dapcefriskin,cVbe mrry. 
 
 Lin. Thou an lb troubled with Manetelins ,thcy fo hang at ihy 
 heart (lunges. 
 
 CU. Pox a my hart then. £»/•«• H.nsvcith Wine. 
 Ittd. I and mine roo, if any Courti? r of them all fct vp his gal- 
 low cs there : wench vfchim as thou doit thy pantahlcs jiconie to 
 lethimkiflethy heele.forhefcedes thee with nothing but Cotiit 
 holy bread, good words, and care snot for thee: fir GWar, w iil 
 you tall a Dutch wharch you callum. 
 
 fe. M*b. Hcere maifler Lynftoc\e, halfe miiie is yours. Bun, Bun 3 
 "Bun, 'Bun . £nte? Parentheftt. 
 
 F*r. Which roome { where are they ? wo ho,ho,ho/o,ho boies. 
 
 Gi;*.Sfo3t « hole that ? !ock our roorne. 
 
 Par. Not till I am in ? and then lock out the diuel' tho he ecrr.e 
 in the fhape of a puritan, tsfll 3 . Stho'emaifter. welcome ? welJ- 
 comein troth H'ar, Who would not bee fcratchc wich the b«yerj 
 and brambles to hauefuch burs (hr king on his brecchcs:Saue you 
 gentlemen : O noble Knight. Cjot. More wine Hans- 
 
 Pur. Am not I (gentlemen,) a Ferret cfthe tight haire> that can 
 make three Conies bolt at a clap into your purfcnets. ? ha ? little do 
 their i . husbands drcame w ! ,at coppics I am letting their wiuel 
 now i wcrt nr>t a rare Ic (t if ihey ftiould ooinc fneakin^ vppon ys 
 like a horrible noifeol Fidlers. 
 
 Iud. Troth Ide not care: let em come: Idcccllcni, weedchat 
 noneoftheirdullMufickc. 
 
 CMab. Hecrc tn:(lris Tentcrhcclg, 
 
 £ltr. Thanks good jniltliS ft 'afer. 
 
WEST-WARD HOE. 
 
 Tar. Whofe there? Peepers : Intelligencers :Eucfdrepper». 
 
 Omni. Vds foot, throw a pot ats head ? 
 
 Par. On Lord ? O Gentlemen, Knight, Ladies, that may bee, 
 Cittizens wiucs that air, (hiftforyourfelues.forapaire of your 
 husbands heads are knocking together with #<*« hi$,and inqui- 
 ring for yoii.O»«?:.l£ ec pe the doorelockc. 
 Jud. Oh Ij uo, do : and let fir Godin (becaufe he has bin in thelow 
 Countries) fweargotz Sacrament,and driuc e'm away with bro- 
 ke Dutch.T<*.Heresa wench has firople Sparkes in henlhces my 
 pupile Gallants : Good-god . ? I fee a man is not fure that his wife 
 is in the Chamber, tho his owne fingers hung on the Padlocke : 
 Trap-doorcs, falfe Drabs, and Spnng-lockes, may cozena Co- 
 ny of Conltables . How the filly Husbands might hcere ha becne 
 guld with Flemifh mony : Come : drinkc yp '~Rhcne, Thames and 
 Mtander dry, Theres Nobody. 
 IwL Ah thou vngodly maiflcr. 
 
 P<ir. I did but make a falfc fire, to try your vallor.becaufr you 
 cryed let cm come. By this glade of womans wine,I,'would not ha 
 fecne their Spirits waJke heere, to bee dubd deputy ofa Ward, I, 
 they would h» Chronicled me for a Foxcin a Lambes skin ; But 
 came : Is this merry Midfomcmighcagrcedvpon-? when foal it 
 be . ? where (hall it be ? 
 
 Lynfi. Why faith to morrow at night. 
 
 JrbirU.VJ cck take a Coach and ride to Ham, or fo. 
 
 Tent. O fie vpont : a Coach ? I cannot abide to be io'tfd. 
 
 <JMab. Yet mofl of your Cittizens wiues loue iohing I 
 
 Goz,. What fay you to B'ack-wall,or Lime-houfe? 
 
 1h&. Euery roorae there fmcli to much of Tar. 
 
 Lynft. Lets to mine hoft Dogbohs at Brainford then ,there you 
 are out of eyes, out of eares.priuate roomes/wcet Lyunen, wink- 
 ing attendance, and what cheere you will ? 
 
 Omni. Content, to TSramford . ? 
 
 Mab. I, I, lets go by water, for fir GosJm I haue beard you (ay 
 you loue to go by water. 
 
 lud. But wenches, with what pullies (hall wee Aide with (bme 
 denlycxcufe.outofour husbandes fufpition, being gone Well- 
 yrtrd for faults all night. •» 
 
 TV.Thats the blocks bow weallftutobleat s WiwSevp thai 
 firing well, aai I all the confbicsia tune. hd> 
 
 «£ 
 
WEST-WARD HOE. 
 
 Ind. Why then gncdman fcrapcr tis wound vp, I haue it . Sirra 
 r Wafer, thy childcs at nurfc, if you that are the men could prouide 
 feme wilt aiTe that could keepe his countenanc e. 
 
 /'ar.Nay if he be an Afte he will keepe his countenance. 
 It-id. I, but 1 meant, one thac could fet out his tale with audaci- 
 ty, and fay that ;he child were fick, and nearc dagger at it: That 
 lift fhouldferuc all our feete. Whir. But where will that wife Aftc 
 be round now ( Tar. I fee I«me borne fliU to draw Dun out ath 
 mire for you : that wile beaft will 1 be. He bee that Aflit that fliall 
 grout vnder the burden of that abhominable lye. Heauen pardon 
 rae, and pray God the infant be not punifht fort. L&t me Tee : He 
 breake out in fome filthy fhape hkea Thraflier, al*li*Thatchcr, 
 or a Sowgelder,or fornething : and fpeak drcamingly, and fwear 
 hovrthechildpukes.andeatesnothing (as perhaps it does not) 
 and lies at the mercy ofGod, (as all children and old- folkcs doe) 
 and then fcholler Wafer, play you your part. 
 
 <JMab. Feare not me,for a veny or two ? 
 
 Par. Where will jrou meet ith morning ? 
 
 ^cAtfome Taucrneneare the water-fide, shats piiuate. 
 
 Par.The Grey-hound, the Greyhound in Black-fryers, an ex- 
 cellent r R*n4eHow.Lin.Com en t the Greyhound by eight .' 
 
 Tar. And then yea may whip forth two firft, and two next, on 
 afudden, and rake Boat e at Bridewell Dock moll priuatcly. 
 
 Omni. Beet fo : a good place I 
 
 Tar. He go make ready my rulhcall properties: let me fee fchol- 
 ler hie you home, for your child fhall bee ficke within this halfe 
 howre. Exit. Enter "Birdlime. 
 
 lud. lis the vprighteft dealing man ? Gods my pitty, whofe 
 yonder ? "Bird. I'me bold to prefse my felfc vnder the Cullors of 
 of your company, hearing that Gentlewoman was in the rocme: 
 A word miftris .' Qar. How now,what faies he.' 
 
 Cot,. Zounds what Hie i a Bawd, bith Lord 1ft not ? 
 
 t^Mab. No indeed, fir Gmlirt fhecs a very honed woman, and 
 a Mid-wife, £?<»•. At the Lyon inShoredich ?Andwou!d he not 
 read it ? nor write to me? He poylon his Supper ? 
 2?W.But no words that I bewrayd him. 
 
 Clar. Gentlemen I muft be gone.I cannot ftay in faith : pardon 
 me : He mecce to morrow : come Nurfc, cannot tarry by this ele- 
 ment. D 3 ' </«•*. 
 
■ . - 
 
 WEST-WARD HOE. 
 
 </»*. Mother, you :Grannamdrmke Ore you goc. Bird: lata 
 
 going to a wotrutts labour, indeede fir, cannot flay. Exeunt. 
 
 tAmb, I hold my life the blacke-bcard her husband whrilels 
 
 for her. lud. A reckoning : Breakeone.breakeall. 
 
 Goz, Her e Ham, draw not, He draw for all as Lne true knight. 
 
 lad. Lc: him : amcngft women this does (land for law, 
 
 the worchieft man ftho he be foole^ mufl draw. Exeunt. 
 
 <lABus c Terttm Scan a ^Pritr.a. 
 
 Enttr matfitr Terterheoke and his o ife. 
 Tent. What bpoke is ihat iwcct hart ? 
 
 Mifl. Ten. Why the booke of bonds that art due to you. 
 
 7>»r.Come,whatdocyouvii;h it.'Whydojou troubleyouf 
 fclfe to take care abounny bufineiTe i 
 
 Mifi.Ten.Why fir,doth not that which concerns) ou, concerne 
 mc.You told me tjitampotj had difcharged his bond, 1 flndc by 
 the booke of accounts heerc, that it is not canceld. Earc I would 
 fiirfcr fuch a cheating companion to laugh at me,Idc fee him hag- 
 cdLGoodfvvcetehartaseueryou loued me, as eucr my bedde 
 was pleafing to you, arreft the kniuc.we were neuer beholding to 
 hini for a pin.but for eating vp our victuals. Good Moule enter an 
 action againft him.7V».In troth loue I may da the gentlema much 
 dilcredit,and befides itmaybeother actions may fall very heauy 
 vponhim. (Jlfrft. Tent. Hang him,to fee the dilhoneftyot the 
 knaue. Tent.O wife, good words : A Courtier, A gentleman. 
 
 Ulfift. Tent. Why may not a Gentleman be a knaue, that were 
 ftrange infaith : but as I was a faying, to fee the dh'honeity of him, 
 thit would neuer come fince he recciued the mony to vifit vsyou 
 know. CWatfterTenterbookhchithhang long vpon you. C/lf<M- 
 fitr TenterhoiMs as I am vertuous you ihall arret! him. 
 
 Tent. Why, I know not when he will come to To wne. 
 df.Jf.Te.Hccs in town: this night he fups at the Lyon in Shoare- 
 d;cH,good husband enter your action, and make haft to the Lyon 
 pi<fen:ly,thcresan honeft fellow (Sergeant Ambufh) will doe it 
 in a trice, he neuer falutes a man in Curtefie, but he catches him as 
 if he would arreft him. Good hait let Senant Ambufti ly in waite 
 for him. 
 
 Tent. Well at thy emrcaty I will doc it. ciue mc my Cloake 
 
 ther«j 
 
- 
 
 west-ward hoe: 
 
 there.buvalinck.^ndmeermeattheCouiuerinVVoocinreere; 
 buflc me Moll. Mifl. Tent. Why no w you lone me.Ile goc to bed 
 fvveer harr. Tent. Do not ffeeptill I come Moll. ExttTcnt. 
 
 Mtfl. 7V»f.-Nobnib,baa fheep,ifa woman will be free in this 
 intricatelaborinth of a husband,let her marry a man of a melan- 
 choly complexion, flie fhal nor be much troubled with him. By 
 my footh my Husbaud hath a hand as dry as his brines , and a 
 breath as fhonge as fix comongardens.Wel my husband is °on 
 »o arreft Monopoly.! haue dealt with a Sargeant priuatly, to in- 
 treate him, pretending that he is my Aunts Son, by this nieanes 
 fhal I fee my young gallant that in this has plaid his part, When 
 they owe mony in rhe-Citty once, they deale with their Lawyers 
 by atturny , follow the Court though the Court do them not the 
 grace to allow them rheir dyer. O the wit of a woman when flie 
 is put to the pinch. Sxit MiftrisTentcrhook. 
 
 Enter maifter TtHterhooke, Sergeant A# injh, andj/eoman Qlutch. 
 "Ten, Come Sergeant Ambufh, come yeoman Clutch, yons the. 
 Tauerne.the Gentleman will come out prefently : thou art refo- 
 lute. iAmb. Who I, I carry fire & fword that fight for me, hear, 
 andheare. I know moftoftheknaucs about London, andmoft 
 oftheTheeues to, Ithanke God, and good intelligence. 
 Tent.l wonder thou doft nor turne Broker then. Amb. Pew; I 
 liauebin a Broker already 5 for I was firft a Puritan, then a Ban- 
 querout, then i Broker, then a Fencer, and then Sergeant.were 
 notthefe Trades wouldemakea man honeft^ peace thedoore- 
 opcs,whee!e about yeoman Clutch. 
 
 Enter wbirlepoo'e, Lmjlicke, *»d 'Jl'ottepsfy Vnbrafl. '■ 
 
 Mtw.hn&tMt I come to fup in this Tauerne agaih.Theres no • 
 more attendance then in a laile.and there had bin a Punk ot two 
 inthecompanythen wefhould not haue bin rid of the drawers: 
 now were I in an excellec humor to go to a valtfng houfe,I wold 
 break downe all their GlafT-windowes, hew in peeces a'liheir 
 ioyneftooles, tear fi Ike petticotes, ruffle their Periwiggcs, and 
 fpoyle therPair,ting,0 the Gods what I could do : 1 1 ouid vn- 
 dcrgo fifteene bawds by this d.uknes, oriflcouldmeeteoneof 
 thele Varlets that were Pinnier ally on their baks( Serjeants) 
 I would make them feud fofafl from rrte,tharthey fiiould think 
 it a fliorter way betweene this and Ludgate, then a rondemned 
 •Curpurfc chinkej it between Newgate and Tyburne. LpJL 
 
West-ward eoe. 
 
 Lynjl. You are for no a&ion to night. 
 W^/..iVollctobed. 
 
 Mint. Am not I drunke now : Impleftturveterh baccki,we[tofj. 
 Tobacco^ W^rfe.Faith we are all heated. ■■ Jm 
 
 AfoHo.Ciptn'mc tvbtrUpoo/e when wile come to Court and dine 
 with me ? Whirl. One of thefe diies Franlce, but He get mec two 
 Gaunlcts for feare I lofe my fingers in the difhes, their bee excel- 
 lent fliauers I heate in the moft of your vnder offices ? I prorcft I 
 haue often come thether, fat downe drawne, my knife, and eare I 
 could fey grace all the meatc hath bin gone. I haue rifen, and de- 
 parted thence as hungry, as euer cameCountrey Atturnyfrom 
 Weftminftcr ? Good night honeft Frarikc, doe not fwaggcr wkh 
 the watch Franke. Extant. 
 
 Tenter. So now they arc gone you may take him. 
 tAmb. Sir I arreft you ? 
 Mom, A trcft me, at whofe fiiite you varlets ? 
 Cloucb. At maifter Tenterbookes. 
 
 CWotto. Why you varlets dare you arreft one of the Court. 
 tAmb. Comewillyou be quiet fir ? 
 
 dfo.Pray thee good yeoman call the gentlemen back againe. 
 Theres a Gentleman hath carried a hundred pound of mine home 
 with him tohislodging.becauf I dare not carry it ouer the fields, 
 He difcharceit prefcntly. 
 
 Amb.Tha.ts a trick fir, you would procure a reskue. 
 M$no. Catchpole doyoa fee, I wjll haue the haire ofyour head 
 and beard fliauedofffor this, and eare I catch you at Grajtshne 
 by this light law. *Amf>. Gome will you march. 
 
 Olpmo. Are yon Sergeants Chriftians . ? Sirra thou lookeft like a 
 good pittyfullrafcall, and thou art a rail man toitfeemes, thou 
 haft backt many a man in thy time I warrant. 
 Amb\ haue had maay a man by thebacke fir. Mem. Welfaide 
 in-trotb, I loucyour quality, las ns needfull euery man fhould 
 come by his own:butasGod mend me gentlemen I haue not one 
 crofse about me, onely you two.Might not you let a Gentlemen 
 pafseoutofyourhandes,and fay you faw him not i Is there not 
 fuchakinde of mercy in you now and then my Maiftcrs, as I 
 hue , if you come to my lodging to morrowe morning , He . ■ 
 giue you flue brace of Angclles? good yeoman perfwadeyour 
 ; r?j .gra*. 
 
 - - ■ - a ■ it,trfiti hi.t'-.t- irmfitf*-'*"-'-- - ~ — ' ■ 
 
WESTWARD HOE* 
 gradual heere : Iknowfome ofyoufobchcncfifaitl)fi:!l Drun- 
 kards, refpect a poor? Gentleman in my cafe. 
 
 71* Come.it wil not ferue your t;ii ne, Officers loe!<c foiling 
 vpon vour perril. ijblono. Do you hcai e Gr, you ke j am in trie 
 hand s of a couple of R atiens lierc, as you area Gentlem 311 end me 
 torty (hillings, let 111c not liue if I do no; pay vou the I01 feiture of 
 the whole bond, and neuer plead Confcience. 
 
 Tent. Not a penny, not a penny : God night fir. Exit Tenter. 
 
 Me. 10. We!!, a man ought not to fwcar by anie thing in the hands 
 of Sergeants but by filucr,andbecau r c my pocket is no lawful Ju- 
 fiiceto Minifrerany fuch oath vnto mc,l will patiently incounfer 
 the Counter. Which is the dearefr ward'' in Prifon Sergeant \ tl z 
 knights ward i Amb. No {ir,tbeMsiitcrs fide. 
 
 CMo/te. Well the knight is aboue the maiffcr though his Tabic 
 beworfefurnifht : lie go thefher. 
 
 Amb. Come fir, I mud vie you kindly the Gentlcmans Wife 
 that hath arretted you; 
 
 tJAlont. I what of her. 
 
 Amb. Shefaiesyou archer Antes for\n<;. A/ono. I,am •' 
 Amb. She takes on fo pitfifully for your Arrefling, twas much 
 agaihfiherwil(good Gentlcworna)'.ha?i!iis affliction iighted vp« 
 on you. rJWcno. She hath rcafon,if Che refpett her poorc kindred. 
 
 Amb.You fliall not go to prifon. 
 
 Mono. Honeff Sergeant, Confciorable Officer, did T forget my 
 fe Ifc euen no w,a vice that flicks to me alwaies w hen I am dmnke 
 toabufemy btflfricnds: where didfl buy this buffe.-'Let me r.o: 
 liue but llegiue fh'ec a good fuif e of duir.nce, Wilt thou taki my 
 b nd Sergeant ? Wheresa Scriuener, a Scriuenc- izood Yeoman ; 
 youfhilhaue my (word and hangers ic paiehim. 
 
 iAnd>. Not fo Sir: but vou fhallbt prifbncf in my houfe : I do 
 not thinks but that your Colin will vMityou there i'th morning, 
 and take order for you. 
 
 ■ J7/>j. We'll (aid; waft notamofl treacherous partfo arrcfls 
 ma" in the ni"ht.and when he is altnoO drunk ,when he hat!, not 
 his wits about him to remember which of Ins friends is in the Sub- 
 fedy : Co'iie did f abu'c you, I recant, you are as necefTary in 3 ci- 
 ty asTu'iiblersin >Jotfoike, Sumnc rs'm Lancctinre.oi Rake-hels 
 in an Armie,- Fxeunt 
 
 E Kma 
 
WEST-WARD HOE. 
 
 Enter V arenthefis Itfy a Co!liar,anda Boy. 
 
 Tuft. Buy any fmall Coale, buy any fmal Coalc. 
 
 lifyy. Collier, Collier . ? 
 
 l*ft. What farft boy. 
 
 Boy Ware ihe pillory. 
 
 Iufi. O boy the pillory aflures many a man that he is no cukold, 
 for how impuffiblc wcarc it a man fhould thrufl his head through 
 (of mall a Loopc-ho'eit hisforeheade were brauncht boy ? 
 Boy Collier: howcarre thegoofe tobeput vponyou, ha? 
 Ixft.We tell rhce, theTearme lying at Wincheftcr in Henry the 
 Thuds daies,and many French Women comming cut of the Jflc 
 qiWtght thither (as it hath alwaies beene fcene) though the Iflc of 
 Wight could notof longtime neither in dure Foxes nor Lawyers. 
 yet it could brook the more dreadful Cockatrice, there were many 
 Punkes in the Towne (as you know our Tcai me is their Tearme) 
 your Farmets that would fpend but three pence on his ordinaric, 
 woulde lauifhhalfca Crowneonhis Leacheryrand many men 
 (Calues as they were) would ride in a Farmers foale bootcs before 
 brcakcfall, the comroond (inner had more fluttering about her, 
 then a frefh punke hath when fhc comes to a Towne of Garrifon, 
 or to a vniuerfity Captains, Schollers,Scruingmer»,Turors,Clarks, 
 Townsmen, and the Blacke-guardc vfed ail to one Ordinarye, 
 and moil of them were cald to a pittifull reckoning for before two 
 returnes of Michaelmas, Surgeons were full of bufincs, the care of 
 mod fecrefie grew as common as Lice in Ireland, cr as fcabbes in 
 France. One of my Tribe a Collier carried in his Cart 40. roaim'd 
 fouldiors to Sdsbury, lookingas pitfifully as Dutchmen firfl made 
 drunke.then carried to bee-heading. Eucry one that metre him 
 cried, ware the Goofe Collier,and from that day to this,thers a re- 
 tord to be fcene at Croiden, howc that pittifull waftage which in 
 deede was vertua in the Collier, that all that time would carry no 
 Coales, laid this Imputation on all the poflerity. 
 
 Boy. You are ful of tricks Colliar. 
 
 lufi. Boy where dwcls mauler Wafer / 
 
 'Boy. Why hcare ! what wouldfl i I am one of his Iuvinals ? 
 
 Jufi. H sth he not a child at nurfle at CMere-clacke f 
 
 Boy. Yes,dofi thou dwei there ? 
 
 Jtifi. That J do,thc Child is vsondcrous fickc : I wai wild *o *c- 
 
 quint 
 
 
IVESr-WARnHOe. 
 
 quaint thy maifter and Miftris with it. 
 'Boy. He vp and tcl them prcfcntly. 
 
 Ittji. So.if al /hou'd faile roc, I could turne Collier. O the vilfeny- 
 of (his age, how ful of lecrefie and filence(conrrary to the opinion 
 of the world)haue I cuer found rooft women. I haut fat a whol af- 
 (ernoone many times by my wife, and looktvpon herties,and felt 
 if her pu'.fcs haue beat.when I haue nam'd a fufpeclcd loue, yet all 
 this while haue not drawne from her the leaf! fcrupleofconfciTi- 
 on. I haue laine awake a thoufand nights, thinking (he wold haue 
 rcuealedfbmcwhatinher drcames, and when fhe has brgunncro 
 fpeake any thing in her llcepe, I haue iog'd her, and cried I fweete 
 heart. But when wil your loue come, orwhatdidhee (ay to thee 
 ouer the flail? Or what did he do to thee in the Garden-chamber.' 
 Or when wil he fend to thee any letters, or when wilt iheu fend to 
 him any mony, what an idle coxcombc icatoufic wil make a man. 
 Enter fVafer tutd his wife. Well.t his is my comfort (hat hcero 
 comes a creature of the fame head- pecce. 
 Aftfi W*f. O my fweet Child.whcres the Collier ? 
 I*/?. Here forfooth. 
 
 MififVaf. Run into Bucklers burry for two ounces of Diaggon 
 watcr.fo me Sperma carty and Treakle. What is it fkke of Coliar. ? * 
 burning Fcauer.' 
 
 /»/}. Faith miflrU I do not know the infirmity of it : wil yon buy 
 any final Coalc, fay you ? 
 traf. Prethee go in and empty tncro.come be not to impatient. 
 Mtfl wsf. I, I , I, if you had groand fort as I haue done you wold 
 haue bin more natural. Take my riding hat,and my kittle there : 
 Ueawayprefently? 
 r»*f. You wil not go to nightj am fiirt. 
 A&fl wafer As I hue but I wil. 
 ■ H-'af.V aith fweet hart I haue great bufines to nighfjflay til to mor- 
 row and He go with yeu. 
 
 (Jififi waf. No fir I wil not hinder your bufines. I fee how little 
 you refpecl the fruits of y our owne bodic. Ifhalfindfomcbodye 
 to beare me company. 
 
 Vf r af. Wcl,I wil defcrre my bufines for once.and go with thee. 
 LMifl rvdf. By this light but you fhal not ,you fhal not hit me i'th 
 teeth thai I was your hindrancc.wil you to Bucklers burry fir.' 
 
 Ea mfi 
 
 • 
 
WESTWARD HOE. 
 JVaf. Comt you arc a fooic 'eaue vcur weeping. Exit Waf 
 
 jii: 
 
 'oh fhal nor go with me as I Hue. 
 
 Jufi Puplc. 'Jllift.U'af. Excellent maitltr. 
 
 Irijl. Admirable Millns, howehappiebecur Eng'ifhwomen 
 •hat are not f re ubltd with Icalous husbands ; why j our [ talians in 
 general are fo Son- bu;nt with thcfeDog-daics, that your giejt La- 
 dy there thinkc&hei hu>bind loues her not if hee bee not lealious: 
 whircoriiinTics.tiielibcriy of our women more in England , the it 
 the Italian Proucrbe, which faics if there were a bridge oucr the 
 narrow Sea", ah" the women in Italy would fbew their husbandi a 
 Million of light paire of heclcs, and flie ouer into England, 
 (Jl&ji. H'af. The time of our meeting i Come ? 
 
 Inft. Scauen. LM»ft ', Waf. The place. 
 
 luft. In Biacke Friers, there take Water, kcepe a loofe from the 
 fhore, on with your Masks, vp with your fails, and Weft-ward Hoe 
 
 CAtiftM'af-So. ' SxitMiftrisfVafer. 
 
 Inft. O the epic!: apprchenfion of women, the'ilegroape out a 
 m ins meaning prefently, wcl, it reft* now that I difcouer my feife 
 in my true fhape to thefe Gentlewomens husbands : for though' I 
 haue plaid the foole 2 little to beguile the memory of mineowne 
 miihirtuncj wouide not play the knaue, though I be taken for a 
 B.( nquerout, but indeed as in other things, fo in that.the worldeii 
 much deceicf d in me, for I haueyet three thoufand pounds in-thc 
 hands of a fufficient friend, and all my debts difchargcd.I haue re- 
 ceiued here a letter from my wife, directed to Stede, wherein Jhee 
 molt repentantly intreateth my return, with protection to gyue 
 me allured fryallof her honefty, Irannot tell what to ihinke of it, 
 but I will putittotheteft, there is a great fhife befweene bcautie* 
 Sc Chaftity.and that which plea&th many is neuer free from tem- 
 tation : as far Iealoufic. it makes many Cue koldes,' many foofes, 
 and many banquerours : It may haue abufed me and not my wifes 
 honefly .' I!e try it : but firft to my fccuts*riA dodrtg Cajpp*i- 
 on. ■ - ; - • Exit, 
 
 EMer<JW«hapofymdtJlhftrisTtnte+h$t%)f^'<} 
 
 Mono. IbereechyoaM'iflris7rt»f*r&M^f, ' '■'•' 
 
 Before God He be ficke if you will not be merry. 
 Mt ft. Tent. You are % fweet Beagle. 
 
 Come 
 
WEST-WARD HOE. 
 tJMon*. Come, becaufe I kept from Tcwne a litde.let meenof 
 liue if I did not hcare the fkknes was in Towns very hot : la troth 
 thy hair is of an excellent colour fince I faw ir.O ."hole bright trcf- 
 fes like to threds of gold, 
 CMjl.Tent. Lye.and afhes.fuffer mucli in the city for that com- 
 panfon. cJ^fc»3.Heres an honefl Gentleman wil be here by 5c by, 
 W3S borne at Fooiham : his name is (jofcng Glco-worrr.e. 
 tjltft Tent. I know him, what is he ? 
 
 Mono. He is a Knight : what aild your husband to be fohaflyio 
 arrefl mcUWTift TV.-i/.Shal I fpcalc truly?llial I fpeak not like a wo- 
 man. Aio>io, Why not like a woman. 
 
 (JUif} Tent Becaufe womens tongues are like to c'ocks.if they go 
 too fall they neuerg<>c true, t'wasl thatg;ot my husband to artel f 
 thee, I haue. tJUvnp. I am beholding to you. 
 
 MijlTem. Forfooth I coulde not come to thefpeechof you, 1 
 thinke you may be fpoken wiih all now. 
 (JMono. Iihankeyou, I hope oul bailemeCofin ? 
 M'ii 7>«;.And vet why fliould ! fpeakwi.hyou.IprotefH loue 
 my lius'o.ind cJWww. Tufli let not any young woman loue a man 
 in ycarcs too well. cflfi/? Tent. Why ? Mono Becaufe heele d) e be- 
 fore lie can requite it. tM«w. I haue acquainted Wafer and Honv~ 
 fuchh with it,and they allow my wit for't cxtrcamlj .Smcr Ambnflj. 
 O honell Sergeant Amb. Welcome g( od miftris Temerhooke. 
 
 Mifl Tent. Sergeant 1 muO needs hsue my Cofin goaliitle Way 
 out of Town with me, and to fecure thce,hcre are two Diamond?, 
 they are worth two hundred pounJ.keepc them til I retutnehim. 
 iAmb. Well tis good fecuri'ie. (time 
 
 CM'fl Tent. Do not come in my husbandes fight in the meane 
 Enter Whrrie, Glo-worme, Go^hng, Lin/locke , (JftUftris Htntnptcklt, 
 mdMiflrii Wafer. 
 Amb Wc'com Gallants, whirl. How now A/«'«/io/; Arrcfledr 
 OUam. O mv litde Honyfticl^ean come to viflt a Prifoner? 
 tMiftHtnj. Yes fai:h as Gentlemen vifit Marchants, to fare we!, 
 orasI > cctsyounffqiiaintR<ucller5,fo laugh at them. Sirrha ifl 
 were fomc foolifh lull ce, if I woulde notbegihy witneuer trufl 
 me. CMifi Tent. Why I pray you ? 
 
 \Jftfifl Hony. Becaufe it hath bin conceald al this while, but come 
 ftal we to boat, we are furnifht for attendants as Ladies arc, 
 
 ■ E 3 We 
 
 - 
 
WESTWARD HOE. 
 We haue ourfooles, and our Vftiers. 
 
 Sir.Gtz,. I thanke you Madame, I fhall mectc your wit in the 
 ctofc one day. Mtjl. t-Vaf. Sirra, thou knoweft my husband keeps 
 a Kenneli ot hounds . ? Mijl. Hony.. Yes. 
 
 Whirl. Doth thy husband loue vencry ? Mtfi. W«f.Vcnery? 
 
 Jffe-/. I, hunting, and venery are words of one fignification. 
 
 UWft. Waf. Your two husband, and hec haue made a match to 
 go find a Hare about Bufty Caufy. Ulft/l. Tent. Theile keepean 
 excellent houfe till we come home again t.tJYftft.Ho.O excellent, 
 a Spanifh dinner, a Pilcher, and a Dutch fupper,butter and Oni- 
 ons. Lynft. O thou ait a mad wench. 
 
 LMifi.Tent. Sergeant carry this ell of Cambrick to miftris2?j*/. 
 tel her but that it isa rough tide, and that (he feares the watcr,(h« 
 fliould haue gone with vs. Sir Got,. O thou haft an excellent wir. 
 
 whirl.To Boat hay / CMifl.Honj. Sir Gotlm .' I dec take it your 
 legs are married. Sir Got,. Why miftris ? 
 
 cJT'f//?. Hem. They lookc fo thin vpon it. 
 
 Str (J«;.Euer fince I meafurd with jour husband,I haueflirunk 
 in the calfe. 
 
 UW/t. Hony. And yet you haue a fweet tooth in your head* 
 Sir Cjozj. O well dealt for the Calues head, you may talke what 
 you will of legs, and rifing in the ftnall, and fwelling beneath the 
 garter. But tis certain when lank thighes brought long (lockings 
 out of fafhion, the Courtien Legge, and his (lender tilting ftarre 
 grew both of a bignclTe. Come for Trainford. Exemtt. 
 
 t/ftlus Quxrtus Seena Trima. 
 Enter CMijhris "Birdlime And Luce. 
 THrd. Good morrow mi ft vis Luce : how did you takeyour reft 
 to night? how dothyour good worflup like your lodging? what 
 will you haue to breakfaft? Luce. A poxe of the Knight that was 
 here laft night, he promill to haue fent me fome wildc foule ; hee 
 was drunk He be ftewed elfc.TW. Why do not you think he will 
 fend them ?Luce. Hang them : tis no more in fafhion for them to 
 keepe their promifes,then tis for men to pay their dcbfcs.He.will 
 lie rafter then a Dog trots : what a filthy knocking was at doore 
 laft night ; ibmc puny Inn-a-court-mcn, He hold my contributi- 
 on.'Btrd. Yes in troth were thcy.ciuill gentlemen without beards, 
 
 but 
 
WESTWARD HOE. 
 
 bnt to fay the truth, I did take exceptions at their knock ing: rook 
 them a fide & faid to them; Gentlemen this is not well, that you 
 flioukl come in this habit, Cloakes and Rapiers ,Boors and Spurs, 
 I proteft to you, thofe that beyour Ancicnte* in the houfe would 
 luuecome tomy houfe in their Caps and Go wnes, ciuilly, and 
 moddlly.I promife you they might haue bn taken for Cittizens, 
 but that they talke more liker fooles. Who knocks there ? vp in- ' 
 to your Chamber. * Enter mafter Honifrckle. 
 Who are you,fome man of credit? that you come in muflcd thuSi 
 
 Hani. Whofe aboue ? 
 
 'Bird. Let me fee your face fiifi. O maifter Honifuc^e^ why the 
 old party : the old party. 
 Hem.Vcw I will not go vp to her : no body elfc? 
 Enter Qmfi'utn, 
 
 "Bird. As I liu; will you giue me fome Sacke ? wheres Opportu- 
 nity. Horn. What dofl call her ? 
 
 'Bird.Hei • name is C W?«»» but imftt'is Luce cannot abide that 
 name, and lb flic cals her OppertHnity. 
 
 Honi.Vcxy good, good . 
 
 Bird. Ill a fhilling, bring the reft in Aqm vitt. 
 Come fh .!sgo to Noddy. 
 
 Honi. 1 and thou wilt for halfe an hower. 
 
 •BtfW.HeereatetheCardes ?deale, God fend race Duces and 
 Aces with a Court Card, and I fhall get by it. 
 
 Honi. Thitcan make thee nothing. 
 "Bird. Yes if I hawc a coate Card tume vp. 
 
 Honi. I fliew foure games .<" 
 
 'Bird: By my troth I mull fhew all and little enough to, fixe 
 games : play your fingle game, I /hall double with you anone. 
 Pray you lend me fome filuer to count my games ? 
 How now is it good Sack ? Enter £hrjfHan, 
 
 Chri .-Theres a gentleman atdoore would fpcake with you. 
 He : Gods lb, I will not be fecne by any mcws.Enter Tenterhook^ 
 Birdlmo that clofct then ? What another mufler > 
 Ten.How doft thou miftris 'Birdlime fBird. Mafter Tenterhooks 
 ihe party is aboue in the dining Chamber. Tent. Aboue. 
 
 Bird. All alone? 
 Honi. Is hegone Tp ? who waft I piay thee / 
 
 'Bifl 
 . . _. . , _ — 
 
IVEST-IVARD HOE. 
 
 Bird. By th'isfacke I wll nos t*i you l fay that yets wer« a conlry 
 Gent'cman.or a Cutizen that hath a young wife, oranjnneof 
 Chauncery Man,Giou d I tell you t Pardon mc ; this Sacks taflrj 
 ofHorfe flelh, i warrant you the legof a dsadhoile bancs in (he 
 But of Saiketo keepeitquiekfc. ? 
 Iloay. I befeech thee good MiffrisTW/W tel me who it was. 
 Bird. O Ciod fir we are f.vorne to fcciecy as wel as Surgeons, 
 Come drinke to me, and lets to our came. 
 
 Tenterhooke and Luce about. 
 Tent. Who am I? 
 
 ijttes, You, pfciy you vnblind tt)c,Capt3\neWhir/poo/e, no mai- 
 flcr Lynjioekj pray vnblind me.you are not fir Cjozting Cjlo-rrmme, 
 for he we .res no Ringes of his fingers .' Maifter Freeze-Zeather, O 
 your are George the drawer at the Miter, pray you vnblmdemee, 
 Czptnnc Ptickfoifl, Maifter Connterpam; the Lawicr, what the di- 
 u:! racane you, btfiirew your heart you haue a very dry hand, arc 
 you not mine hofl Dog-bolt of BrainfordjMiHn: Z>.W/)w, mai- 
 fter Homfuckle, Maifter Wafer, 
 
 Tent. What the lafi of al your Client?. 
 
 Luce. O how doff thou good Cofin. 
 
 Tent. 1 3 ou haue many C< fins. 
 
 Luce. Faitli I can name many that I do not know, and fuppofe 
 I did know them what then ?I will fuffer one tokcepemeindiet, 
 another in appatrc! ; another in Phifitk; another to pay my houfe 
 rent. I amiulfof .he Nature of iAlcumy; I wil fuff.reuerv plod- 
 ding foole to fpeaid monievpon me, rnarnenone butfomewor- 
 chic friend to inioy my roorerctir'dan j vfc-fuliraithfu'.RCs. 
 Tent, Your loue.your loue. 
 
 iuce.Q I,tis thecutfe that is laid yppon our qnailitic. what wee 
 glcancfrom others welauifh vpon fome trothlclk wcl f ac'd youn- 
 ger Brother, that Loues ?s onely for maiiitau.ance. 
 
 7 "int. Haff a good tcarme Luce ? 
 
 Lute. \ pox on the Tearme.and new T thiftke onf, faiesa gen- 
 tleman h(\ night let ihe pox bo in the Towns (eauenyesre,Weft- 
 minftfrneuf! - breeds Cob-webs, & vet tisas catchinc astheplacu, 
 flioucji not a! fi gsiner.il, there be a thoufhnd bra-^in^ larfcetin. 
 I ondon. ri'.atwi! pi of ell they can wreflcpmforifrcfji nit wbenfl 
 (,\carc)not one of them know wheatlnw my pa!mebcmoifleor 
 
 not 
 
WEST-WARD HOE. 
 
 not: In troth I loue thee: You promifl me feuen EHesof Cam- 
 
 bnck. Wafer h]oc\sa?-<{ enters, Whofe that knocks :" 
 
 Honi. What, more Sacks to the Myl.Ile to my old retiremec. 
 
 liird. How doth your good worfhip, Pafsion of my hart, what 
 
 /hitt Ih ill I m.ike. How hath your good wor. done, a long nine • 
 
 iv*f. Very well Godaniercy. 
 
 Bird. Your good wotlh. I think e be riding out of towne. 
 
 W r af. Yes beleeue me, I loue to be once a weeke a horfebacke, 
 
 rormethinks notlsingfetsaman out, better than a Horfe. 
 
 Bird. Tis cerren, nothing fets a womanout-berter chart a man 
 
 Wuf. Wfllatj is roifl.JLuce about? Bird. Yes truely, 
 
 JVitf. Nota'iycompany wuhher. Bird, Company? Shall 
 I fay to your good worfiiipandnot lie,fhe hath had no company 
 (let mi lee how long it was Gnce your Wor. was hcare) you wet 
 to a Butchers feafl at Cuckold, -hauenthe next djy alter Saint 
 Lukes day. Not this fortnight, in good truth. 
 Wttf, AlafTe, good (oule. Bird. And why was it? Goto, go 
 to, I thinke you know better than I.The wench askcth euery day 
 when will M. wafer be heere : AndifKmghtes askeforher ,fhee 
 cries out at ftayre-hed, As you loue my life let em not come vp, 
 He do my fclfe vyolence if they enter : Haue not you proinif t lnr 
 Com what? rraf. Faith, Ithinkefheloues me. 
 3ird. Loues : Wei. wud you knew what I know, then you wud 
 fay fom what. In good faith fhees very poo; e, all her gowns are 
 at pawne:fne owes me fine pound forherdyet, befide ; 4o. fli. I 
 lent her to redeem two hall e fi! k e Kittles from the B i okers, And 
 do you thinkeflie needed be in debt thus, iffliee thought not of 
 Some- body. 
 
 Waf- Good honeft Wench. 
 "Bird. Nay in troth, fhees now entiing into bond for r.poundes 
 more, the Scriuenerjs but new gon vp to take ber bond; 
 wafer Come, let her not enter inro bond, He lend her / . pound, 
 jle pay the reftot her debts, Call dowr.e:heScriuener ? 
 Bird. I pray you when he comes downe, llandmufled, and Ilz 
 tell him you are her brother. 
 
 fVaf. /fa man haue a good honeft wench, that lines who'v to 
 his vfe, let him not fee hir want. £xil ^ird. And enter aboue. 
 
 'Bird. 0,niifl.L«cf, miff. £»Ptf,youarerhemoftvnfortunate 
 
 ' Gen- 
 
WEST-WARD HOE. 
 gentlewoman that euer brcathde : your young wild brother came 
 nsvvlyoutoftheCountrcy, hecallesmeB.iwd,fwearesl keepea 
 ! Bawdy houfc.faies his fiftei is turned whore ; and (hat he wil kill,& 
 flay any man that he finds in her company. 
 . Text. What conusance wi! you make with me miflris Birdlime. 
 Luee.O God let him not come vp.tis the fwaggringil wild-oats. 
 "Bird, I hauc pacified him fomwhat.for I told him,jhat you were 
 aScriuenercometotakeabandofher, now as you go toorthfay 
 flic might haue had fo much many if flic had pleafed, and fay, fhe 
 is an honeft GcntIewomanand.il wil be wel. 
 Tent. Inough. farewel good Luce. 
 Bird. Come change your voice.and muffle you. 
 Luce. What trick fliould this bc,I haue ncuer a brother, I!e hold 
 my life fome franker cuflomcr is come, that (tee Aides him offfo 
 fmoothly. Enter Tent erhoeke and Bird&me. 
 
 Tent. The Gentlewoman is an honcft Gentlewoman as any ij 
 in London.and fliould haue had thrice as much money vpon her 
 fing'e bond for the good report I heare of her. 
 Waf. No fir ; hir friends can fnrnifli her with mony,. 
 Tent. By this light I fliould know that voice, W*/*r,od'ffbatc are 
 you the Gendcwomans Brother? 
 
 Waf. Are your turnd a Scriucner Tenterhotke t 
 
 Bird. Iamfpoild. 
 
 y/af. Tricks of miflris Birdlymc by this light. 
 
 Snter Hotry/nck/e. 
 Hetty. Hoick Couert.hokk coacr t,why Gentlemen is this your 
 hunting ? 
 Tent, A Ccmfort.what make you here Henyfttckle* 
 Hony. Nay what make you two hcarc,0 excellent miflris Bird. 
 thou had more trickes in thee then a Punke hath Vnckles,cofins r 
 Brothers. Sons or Fathers •■ an infinit Company. 
 
 Bird. If I did it not fo make your good worfliips merry, neuer 
 BcJceue ms ,1 wii drinkc to your woi fliip a glafle of Sack. 
 Enter Ittftmaxt. 
 /»/?. God faue you. 
 
 Ho#r& W«f. Maifter Iufiininno welcome from Stqod. 
 ]*/?. Why Gentlemen I neuer came there. 
 Tent. Neuer there 1 where haue you bin then ? 
 
 In? 
 
WEST-WARD HOE. 
 
 Tuft. Mary your daily guefl I thanke you, 
 Omn, Ours. 
 tuft. I yours. 
 I was che pedant that learnt your wiueifo write, I was the Coliiar 
 that brought you newes your childe was Hike, but the truth is, foe 
 ought I knowe, the Child is in heakh,atid ycur wiucs arc gone to 
 make merry at Brainford, 
 
 'Waf. By my troth good wenches.thcy littie dreame where we are 
 now. \ttft. You little dreame what gallants are with them. 
 Tent. Gallants with them ! Ide laugh at that. 
 lufi. Fourc Gallants by this l\«ht,Mi\.Menopo/j is one ofthera. 
 Tent. Monopoly ? Ide laugh at that in faith. 
 Itift. Woutd you'laugh at that | why do ye laugh at it then, they 
 arc ther by this time.l cannot flay to giue you more particular in- 
 telligence : I haue receiued a lettter from my wife hcarc,if you will 
 cal me at Putney, He beare you company. 
 lent. Od'sfoot what a Rogue is Sergeant Ambujb, lie vndo him 
 by this light . 
 
 luft.J met Sergeant Ambujh,3nd wild him come to thishoufc 
 to you prefcntly/o Gentlemen Ueaueyou 1 Bawd \ haue nothing 
 to fay to you now; do not thinke to much in fo dangerous a mallet 
 for in womens matters tis more dangerous to (land long delibera- 
 f ing,then before a batf ai ' c. Sxit lufti. 
 
 W«f. This fellowes pouerty hath made him an arrant knauc. 
 Bird, will your worfhip drinke any Aquavit* ? 
 Tent. Apox on your Aquavit*. (J\[onopoly , that my wife vrged 
 me to arrcft gon to "Brtittford. Enter Ambufli. herei comes the var- 
 let. Amb. I am co.mc.fir to know your pleafurr. f 
 
 Ttnt. Wh.it hath LftConcpoly paid the mony yet ? 
 tAmb. No fir,but he fent for mony. 
 
 Twtt.You haue not caried him to the counter,he is at your houfe 
 {til. Antb : O Lord I fir as melanch'olike &c. 
 Tent You he like an arrant varlet.by this candle I laugh at the ietl 
 Bird. And yet hces ready to cry. 
 
 Tent. Hees gone with my wife fo Brainford,and there bee any 
 Law in England He tickle ye for this. 
 
 Amb. Do your worft.for I haue good fecurity & I care not, be- 
 sides it was hiscofin your wiucs pleafore that hefhou'.d goe along 
 With hcr,TW. Hoy day, her cofin,w ej fir,y our fecurity. JF z 
 

 WEST-WAR!) HOE. 
 
 t/fmb. Why fir tw o Diamonds here. 
 Tent.O toy hurt : my wiucs two Diamonds, 
 Wei, yeule go along and iuftific this. Enter Luce. 
 
 zsfmb. T hat I wil fir. 
 
 Luce. Who am I? 
 
 Tent. What the Murrion care I who you are,ho!d offyour Fin- 
 gcrs.or lie cut them with this Diamond. 
 
 Luce. He fee em ifaith, 
 So, He keepe thefe Diamonds fell I haue my filkc gowne,and fix 
 els of Cambiickc. 
 
 Tent. By this ! ight you fhal not. 
 
 Luce. No ,what do you think you haue Fops in hand, fue rat for 
 ihem. waf.and Honj. Asyou refpect your credit lets go. 
 
 Tent. G ood Luce as y ou loue me k t me haue them/w ftands vp- 
 on my Credit,thou (h At haue any thing, take my purlTc* 
 
 Lnce. I will nor be croft in my humour fir. 
 
 Tent. You are a dam'd filthy punke, what an vnfortunate Rogue 
 was I.that euer I came into this houfc. 
 
 Bird. Do not fpurnc any body in my houfc you were bell. 
 
 Tent. Wei!, well. 
 
 Bird. Excellent Luce, the getting of thefe two Diamondes mate 
 chaunce to fauc the Gentle woroens credit ; thou heardft all. 
 
 Luce. O I, and by my eroath pittye thern, whas a filthy Knanc 
 was that betraied them. 
 
 'Bird, One that put me into pittifull feare, mafler Infiinidno here 
 hath laied lurking like a fheep-buer, and in my knowledge hath 
 drawne thefe gentlewomen to this misfortune : but He downe to 
 Queene-hiue, and the Watermen which were wont to carrie you 
 to Lambeth 'Jfrfarfh, fhall cany mee thither : It may bee I may 
 come before them ; I thinke I fhai pray more, what for 'care of the 
 wafer,andformygood fuccefTcfhen I did this tweluemontb. 
 Scdna z Enter the Earle and three SerUtngmtn. 
 
 Earl. Haueyouperfunrd this Chamber ? 
 0/«7. Yes my Lord. 
 Ear. The banquet? 
 Omn. It ftands ready. 
 far. Go, letmuficke 
 Charme with her excellent voice an awful] fcilcnce 
 
 Throngh 
 
WEST-WART) HOE. 
 
 Through al this buildmg.thatherfphsry foulc 
 May(on the wings or Ayrc) in thoufand formes 
 Inuifibly flic, yet be mioy'd. Away. 
 
 i Ser. Docs ray Lordc meane to Coniure that life drawe* this 
 ftrange Characters. 
 
 z Ser. He docs : but we fhal fee neither the Spirit that rifes, nor 
 the Circle 't rifesin. 
 
 3 Ser. Twould make oar baire fland vp an end if wee ffioulde, 
 come fooles come.meddle not with his mattcrs,Lords may do any 
 tiling. Excur.i 
 
 Ea .This night flia! ray defires be amply Crownd, 
 And al thofc powers, that tail of man in vs, 
 Shall now afpirc that point of happines, 
 Beyond which.fenfualeiesncuerlooke, (fweet plcafurc ' ) 
 Delicious pleafurc?Earths Supreatnefl good, 
 Tlie fpring of blood, tho it dry vp our blood. 
 Rob me of that, (tho to be drunkc withpleafure, 
 As ranke excelTe eucn in bell things is bad ; 
 Turnes man in f o a bead) yet that being gone, 
 A horfe and this(the goodliefl (hape)al one. 
 We feed : we are rich attires : and flnue to clcaue 
 The liars with Marble Towers, fight battailes : Spend 
 Our b!ood to buy vs names : and in Iron hold 
 Will wc cafe roots,to imprifonfugitiue gold : 
 But to do thus, what Spell can vs excite, 
 This the flrong Magick of our appetite: 
 To feall which richly , life it felfe vndoes, 
 Whoo'd not die thus ? to fee, and then to choofe 
 Why euen thofe that flaruc in Voluntary wants, 
 An 1 to aduance the mind, keepe theflefh poore ; 
 The world Tnioying them, they not the world, 
 Wud they do this,but that they are proud to fuckc 
 A fovecmes fiomfuch fowrencs > let em fo, 
 The torrenr of my appetite fliall flow 
 With happier flrcame.A woman ! Oh, the Spirit 
 And extract of Creation iThis, thisnighf, 
 The Sun fhal enuy .What cold checks our blood > 
 Her bodie is the Chariot of my foulc, 
 
 F 3 He? 
 
WE5T.WA&VH0E. 
 
 Her eict ray bodies light.which if I want, < 
 
 Life wants, or if po(Me,I vndo her ; 
 
 Turneherintoadiucl.whomladorc, 
 ; By fattening hcrwiththchotftccmeoflttfr, 
 
 Tis but a minute j pleafurc : and the finne 
 . Scarcea&ed is repented. Shun it than : 
 
 he that can Abllaine, h more than man 1 
 Tufti. Refolu'ft thou to do ill : be not prccizc 
 
 Who writes ofrertuebcf\,art(liutt to vize, Muficl^ 
 
 The muficke founds allarum to my blood, 
 
 Whats bad I foltowiyet I fee whatsgood. 
 
 Whilft the four is heard. The Sarle draws a Curten . and fits forth 4 Ban- 
 
 quel 'Jot then Sxit,and Enters prefer.! lyrrith Parenthefis attirdi'ike his wtft 
 
 maskf : leadt him U the table [placet him in a chain, and in dumkeJigHts. 
 
 (fonrts htntftil thefong be done. 
 
 Ear. Fay re .' be not doubly maslct : with that and night, 
 Bcautie (like gold) being vf'd becomes more bright. 
 
 Par. Wil it pleaic your Lordfhip to it, I flial receiue fmal plea- 
 furc if I fee your JLordfliip ftand. > 
 | Sar : Witch, hag, what art thou proud damnation? 
 Tar : A Marchants wife. 
 
 Sar : Fury who. raizd thee vp,what com'ft thou for .' 
 Par: For a banquet. 
 i . Ear : I am abuf'd,delUded : Speake what art thou ? 
 Vds death fpeake, or ile kit thee.- in that habit 
 
 1 lookt to find an Angel, but thy face, 
 Shewesth'artaDiucl. 
 
 Par : My face is as God made it my Lord : I am no diuel vnlefle 
 women be diuds.but men find cm not fo, for they daily Imnic for 
 them, 
 
 Sar: What art thou that doft cozen me thus ? 
 
 Par t A Marchants wife I fay : Injlmtntt wife. She, whome that 
 long burding piece of yourt, Imeanc that Wicked mother Bird- 
 lyme caught for your honor. Why my Lord,lias your Lordfhippc 
 forgot how ye courted me lad morning. 
 
 Ear. The diuel I did, 
 
 Par t K\(l me laft morning. . 
 
 Ear. Shcc ub*sj\ol thee. 
 
 Gauc 
 
 * '■ V £ 
 
 . -. -.-.. .. . -;— J _ v ,. ti: * 
 
WESTWARD HOE. ' - 
 
 Par, Giue mc this Iewcl lad morning* 
 
 Ear, Not to thee Harpy. 
 
 Tar, To ms vpon mine honeflie, fwore yon would build me a 
 lodging by the Thames fide with a Watergate to it : or els take mec 
 a lodging in Cole-harbor. 
 Ear. I (wore Co. 
 
 Pat, Or keep me in a Laborinth as Harry kept Rofamond wrier 
 the Minor aure my husband mould not entc r. 
 
 Ear, I fvvarc fo.but Gipjse not to thee? 
 
 Tar. To me vppon my honour, hard was the fiege, which you 
 laid to the Chriflal wals of my chaffity, but I held out you know : 
 but becaufc I cannot bee too ftony harted.I yeelded my Lord, by 
 this token my Lord(which token lies at my heart like lead) but by 
 this token my Lord,rhat this night you fhoukl commiuhat finne 
 which we al know with me. Ear, Thee? 
 
 Par. Do I looke vgly, that you put thee vppon me : did I giue 
 you "my hand to home my head,thats to fay my husband, and is it 
 com to thee .• is my face a filf hyer face.now it is yours,then when it 
 was his : or haws I two faces vnder one hoode. I conftlTc I haue 
 laid mine eyes in brine, and that may chaunge the coppy.But my 
 Lord I know what lam. 
 
 Ear, A Sorccrcdc.thou fha!t witch mine earcs no more, 
 Ifthoucanft pray ,doot quickly for thou dicfr. 
 
 Par, I can praie but I wll not die, thou lieft : 
 My Lord there drops your Ladic 5 And now know, 
 Thou vnfeafonable Lecher ,1 am her husband 
 Whom thou wouldft make whorc.read : fhe fpeaket there thus? 
 VnlefTe I came to her, her hand fhou'd free 
 Her Chaftitie from blemifh, proud I was 
 Ofherbraue mind, I came, and feeing what flaucrie 
 Pouertie.andche frai'tieof her Sex 
 Hid.and was like to make her Subiecl to, 
 I begd that the would die,my fuite was granted, 
 I poifon'd her ,«hy luft there ftrikes her dead, 
 Homes feard, plague worfe.than flicking on the head* 
 
 Ear. Oh God thou haft vndone thy felfe and me, 
 None liue to match this pecce.thou art to bloudie, 
 Yet for her fake, whom lie embalmc with teares, 
 
 Thi* 
 
WEST-WARD ROE. 
 
 This Acl with herl bury.and to quit 
 Thy lofle of fuch a Iewe'.thou fha! t (hare 
 My liuing with me, Come irnbrate. 
 
 Par. My Lord. 
 
 Earl. Vi laine, dambd mercilefleflaue, He torture thee 
 To euery ynch of flcdi: what ho : helpc.whofe there? Enter Ser- 
 Come hither : hcresa murdererjbindhim.Hownow, mngnttn. 
 What nosfe is this. Enter the I. Serui.igmen. 
 
 i Ser. My Lord there are three Cittizens face mce downe, that 
 heres one maiflcr Pareitthe/is a fchoolemaifter with) our Lordlhip 
 and dcfire he may be forth-comming to cm. 
 
 Par. Thar borrowed name is mine.Sh/ft for your felues.- 
 Away, fhiff for your felues ; fly, I am taken. 
 
 Ear. Why fhould they flye thou Skreechowle. 
 
 Par. 1 wil tel thee, 
 Thofe three are partners with mc in the murder, 
 We foure corarnixt the poifon, fhift for your felues. 
 
 Ear. Stops mouth, and drag him backe : intrcat cm enter. 
 £ ::te r the three Qtttixjens. 
 
 what a conflict feele 1 in my bloud, 
 
 1 would I were IclTc gi eat to be more good : 
 
 V'are we'com c, wherefore came ycu ! guard the dorcs ; 
 When I behold that obicft, al my fences 
 Reuo.'t from reafon.he that offers flight, 
 Drops downe a Coarfe. 
 -^/j.aCoarfe ? 
 i. Ser. I a coarfe.do you fcorn to be worms meat more then (he? 
 Par. See Gentlemen, the Italian that does fcornc, 
 Beneath the Moone.no bafenes like the home, 
 Has powr'd through all the vcines of yon chaff bofome, 
 Strong poifon to prcferue it from that plague, 
 This flefh'v Lord : he doied on my wife, 
 He would haue wrought on her and plaid on me. 
 But to pare off thefe brims,] cut ofthcr, 
 And guld him with this lie, thatyou had hands 
 Dipt in her blood with mine, but this I did, 
 That his ftaind age and name might not be hid. 
 My Aft(tho vild)the world fhall crownc aiiufi, 
 
 ■ 
 
WESTWARD HOE. 
 
 I fliall dye cleere, when he Hues foyld with Iufl : 
 
 But come : rife Moll. Awake fwccte Moll, th'aft played 
 
 The woman rarely, counterfeited well. 
 
 I . Ser. Sure fh'as nine liucs. 
 
 Tar. See, Luerece is not flaine, 
 Her eyes which luft cald Suns, haue their firfl beamc^ 
 And all thefe fnghtmentsarebut idle dreamei : 
 Yet ( afore hue) (he had her knife prepard 
 To let his bloud forth ere it fhould run blacke t 
 Do not thefe open cuts now, coole your back t 
 Methinkes they fhould : whentV/« fees with broad eyes 
 Her vgly forme, fhe does h : rfc lfc defpife. 
 
 Sar, Mirror of dames, I looke vpon thee now, 
 As men long blind, (hauing rccouered fight) 
 Amazd : fcarce able are to endure the lignt : 
 Mine owne (Tume ftrikes me dumb : henceforth the booke 
 He read fliall be thy mind, and not thy looke. 
 
 Hefty. I would either wee were at Braineford to fee oar wiue% 
 or our wiues hecre to fee this Pageant. 
 
 Tent. So would 1,1 (land vpon thornes. 
 
 Ear. Th e iewels which I gaue you : weare : y our fortunes, 
 lie raife on golden Pillars : fare you well, 
 Lufl in old age like burnt ftraw,does cuen choake 
 The kiudlcrs, and confumes, in ftincking Smoake. Exit. 
 
 Far. Yeu may follow your Lord by thefmoake,Badgers. 
 
 r.Ser. If fortune had fauord him,\vee might hauc followed you 
 by the homes. 
 
 Par. Fortune fiuors fooles, your Lords a wife Lord :So : how 
 now?ha?Thisisthat makes me fat now, iff not Rats-bane to you 
 Gentlemen, as pap was to Neftor, but I know the inuifible fins of 
 your wiues hang at your eyc-lides, and that makes you foheauy 
 headed. Ttnt. If I do take cm napping 1 know what lie do. 
 
 Horn. He nap fome of them. , 
 
 Tent. That villaine TMonofoly, and that fir CjozJin treads em all. 
 Wafer. Wud I might come to that treading. 
 
 Par. Ha ha, fowndl : come Moll : the booke of the fiedge of 
 Oftend, writ by one thar dropt in the aclion, will ncuer fell lb well, 
 as a report of the fiedge between this Cjratte, this wicked elder and 
 
 G thy 
 
WEST-WAKT) FTO-E. 
 
 »hy felfe,anirsipreffionofyou tWD,wold away in a May-morning: 
 was iteuer heard that filch tyrings,were brought away from a 
 Lord by any wench but thee Moll, without paying, vnleflTc the 
 v.'cnch connycaccht him ? go thy thy waies : if all the great Turks 
 Goncubins were but like thee, the ten-pen iy-infidcllfhouIdne- 
 uerneede keep lo many geldings to neyouerem : come ihal this 
 Werterne voyage hold my harts? Ally. Yes, yes. 
 
 Par. Yes, yes : Sfbot you fpcake as if you had no harts,ck look 
 as ifyou were going weft ward indeede : to fee how plainc dea- 
 ling womca can pull downe men: Moll youlc helpers to catch 
 Smelts too? 
 
 Mifl. IhJI. Ifyou be pleafd. 
 
 f^r.Neucr better fioce I wore a Smock. 
 
 Honi. I feare ouroarcs haue giuen vsthc bag. 
 
 ff<*/*r.Goed,Ide laught at that* 
 
 Par. If they hjue, would wheres might giue them the Bottle: 
 come march whilft the women double their files: Married men 
 fce> theres comfort : the Moonesvp: fore Don Pbalnts, I doubt 
 we (hull haue a Froft this night, her homes ate lb /harp : doe you 
 Botfeeleitbitc. 
 
 Tent. \ do, Imefure. 
 
 Tar. But wcclefit vpponone anothersskirtiith Boate, and lye 
 dole in flraw,like the hoary Courtier. Seton 
 
 to Brainford now where ifyou mcete fraile wiucs > Nere-(vreare 
 gainfl homes, invainc dame Nature ftriues. Sxemit. 
 
 <±ABhs Qutntus Scana Trima, 
 
 fitter tJltmoydy ,WhirlefooU t Lyn#oc\(j toidthtirvnues,Iiidjftb t 
 M*btll y W Citre, their Huts *ff. 
 Mono. Why Chamberlin ? will not thefc Fidlcrs be drawn forth? 
 arc they not in rime yet 'Orarethe Rogue? aftaid ath Statute* 
 and date not tratiell (o far without apafle-port? 
 fffor.What Chamberlin? 
 Ljnfi.Whcrcs mine holt ? what Charaberlin- Enter Cbmbtr&t. 
 foam. AnOH fir, heere firj at hand fir. 
 UMoh». Wiieresthis notfe?wnatalowficTovvncsthis?Has 
 Brainforcl no mufick int. 
 Qj*m, They are but rozming fir, and thcile fcrape thcrafclues 
 
 in- 
 
WEST-WJKVHOlT. 
 
 into your company prefen fly. 
 
 \M4no. Plague a their Cars guts, and their fcraplng r doff not 
 
 fee women here,and can wcthinkft thon be without a noifc t hen? 
 
 Qh<t. The troth isfir, one efthepooreinfhuments caught a (ore 
 
 mrfchancelaft night/his moftbafc bridge fell downe,andbchkc 
 
 they are making a gathering for the reparations of that. 
 
 Wktr, When they cprhe, lets hauc em with apox.J 
 Cham, Well fir, you fhall fir. 
 
 2W».Stay Chaniberlin: where? our knight fir CjozJin ? wbercs fir 
 Gezlin. £bam.Tioih fir.my mafter.and fir Cjo-zltn are guzlingrthey 
 are dabling together fathom deepe: the Knight hath drunkefo 
 much Helth to the Gentleman yonder, on his knees, that hec has 
 almoft loft the vfc ofhis legs. 
 
 I*A. O for loue, let none of cm enter our roome, fie. 
 F c^fxMwud not haue em cafl vp their accounts hcrc/or more 
 then they meaneto be drunkethis tweluemonth. 
 £k.Good Chambcrlinkeepe them and their Hclthes out of our 
 company. Iwarrantyou, their Hclthes fhallnot hurtyoU. ExtU 
 iffla. I, well faid : they're none of our giuing: let em keep their 
 owne quarter: Nay 1 told yon the man would foakc him if hee 
 were ten Knights : ifhc were a Knight of Gold thcyd fetch hira 
 •ner. 
 
 CU. Out ypon him t 
 
 Wi>«r/.Theres a Liefetennant an i a Captaine afoongft em too." 
 
 KM*'. Nay,then looke to haue fomc body he on the earth fort: 
 Jtt ordinary for your Licfetennantto be drunke with your Cap- 
 tains, and your Capeen to caft wiih your Knight. 
 
 C/«i:Did you neuer near bow fir E*(fe«&v?nre»>(euen fuchan- 
 otherjtookeme vp one night befoie my husband being in wine, 
 
 MobNo indcede, how was it.' 
 
 C/«.'ButIthinkeIcookehim downewkhavutnefle, 
 
 ltd. How .' Good Tcnterhoike. 
 
 CU. Nay He haue all your cares take part of it, 
 
 Omni. Come, on then. 
 
 ^.•Hevfdtofreecjuentmc and my Husband diuerfetfmesj 
 And atlatt comes heout one morning to my husband,and fayes, 
 maittcr TtHttrhtikf faies he, I rnuft trouble you to lend mee 2 00. 
 pound about ^commodity whichlamr0dealejn,andwhatwai 
 that commodity but his knighthood* Gi Omt>i t 
 
WEST-WARD HOE. 
 t)mn. So. 
 
 CU. Why you /hall Maiflcr Scarcrcw faics my good man : So 
 within a little while after, Maifler Fabian was created Knight. 
 Mono. Created a Knight ! thats no good heraldry :you muft fay 
 dubd Cla. And why not Created pray. 
 Om.i. I wcl done, put him downe ats owne weapon. 
 C/a. Not Creatcd,why al things haue their being by creation. 
 Ljnft. Yesby my faith ift., 
 CV.z Bat toreturne to my talc. 
 Whirl. J mary : marke now. - 
 
 Cla. When he had climb'd vp this coflly ladder of preferment , 
 lie disburfes themony backe^gen very honorably : comes home, 
 and was by my husbande invited to (upper.- There fupt withvs 
 befides,anether Gentleman incident to the Ccurt.one that hadde 
 befpoke me of my husband to help mc into the banqueting houfe 
 and fee the reuelling : a young Gentleman, and that wagge (our 
 fchoolemaifter) maiflcr Tarenthefs, for I remember he (aid grace, 
 methinks I fee him yet, how he turn'd vp the white a'th eie.when 
 lie came to the laft Gafpe, and that he was almoft paft Grace. 
 CAiab. Nay he can door. 
 
 Cla. All (upper time, my New-minted knight, made Wine the 
 waggon to his meat, for it ran downe his throat fo raft, that before 
 my Chamber-maid had taken halfe vp, he wasnotfearce able to 
 fland. 
 (Ji'tono. A generall fault at Citizens tables. ' > 
 
 Cla. And ] thinking to play vpon him.askt him.Sir Fabian Scar- 
 trove quoth I, what pretty Gentlewoman wil you raife vp now to 
 ftal her your Lady* 5 but he like a foul-mouthd roan/wore zounds 
 He Hal neuer a punke in England. A Lady.theres two many alrea- 
 dy : O fie Sir Fabian (quoth I) will you cal her that (hall bee your 
 wife fuch an odious name .' and then he fets out a throat & (wore 
 agen (like a (linking brcathd knight at be was) that women were 
 likehorfes. 
 Ittd. andMab. O filthy knaue. 
 
 pa. They de break oner any hedge to change their' paflare, ihar 
 k were worfe ; Fie man fie, (faics the Gentlewoman.) 
 mono. Very good. - 
 
 CU. And he bridling vp his beard to iailcac her too, I cut hym 
 
 0m 
 
 \ 
 
VVEST-VVAtiT) HQ£. 
 
 ouer the thumbs thasrwhy fir Fabiati Searcrow did I inccie my huf- 
 :band to lend you To much mony vpon your bare worde, and doc 
 you backbite my friends.andmetoourfaccs ! I thought you had 
 had moreperfruerance* if you bore a Knightly and a degcnerous 
 mind you would fcorne it : you had wont to be more deformable 
 amongft women : Fie,fhatyoulebefohumoifome : here was No- 
 bodic Co egregious towardes you fir Fabian \ and thus in good fad- 
 Tics, 1 gaue him the bed wordes I coulde picke out to make him a- 
 lhamd of his doings; 
 PVkrl. And how tooke he this Correflion. 
 Ql*. Verie heauily : for he flept prcfentlic vpont ; & in the mor- 
 ning was the (orncfi Knight, and 1 warrant is fo to this daie, that 
 hues by bread in England. 
 
 moto.To fee what wine and women can do.the one makes a man 
 not to haue a word to throw at a Dogge, the other makes a man to 
 eat his owne words.tho they were ncuer fo filthy. 
 Whirl. I fee thefe Fiddlers cannot build vp their bridge,that fomc 
 Mufickc may come ouer vs. 
 
 Lyntt. No faith they are drunke too.what fhah do therefore. 
 mono. Sit vp at Cards al night ? 
 mab. ThatsSeruingmansfafhion. 
 Whirl. Drinke burnt wine and Egs then { 
 luA. Thats an exercife for your (ub-burbe wenches. 
 Q*. No no, lets fet vpon our poffct and fo march to bed, for I 
 begin to wax light with hauing my Natural deep puld out a mine 
 e:cs. 
 Omn Agreed : beet fo, the facke poffct and to bed. 
 mono. What Chamberlain c" I mull take a pipe of Tobacco. 
 ^. Women. Not hcre,not here,nof here. 
 mab. ]lc rather loue a man that fakes a putfe, then him that takes 
 Tobacco. 
 
 pa. By my little finger He brcakc al your pipes.and burne the 
 Cafc,and the box too.and you drawe out your (linking fmoakea- 
 fore me. mono. Prcthee good mifiris Temerheeke^t ha done in a 
 trice, mono. Do you long to haue me fwounc? 
 mono. He vfe but halfc a pipe introth. 
 C(*- Do you long to fee me lie at your feet ! 
 ■■mm: Smell toot :tisperfum'd. 
 
WEST-WARD HOE: 
 
 Ct*. Oh God ? Oh God? you anger mc : you ffir my bloud: you 
 moue roc :you make mcipoilc a good face wich frowning at you: 
 this was euer your fafhion, fo to finoake my Husband when you 
 come home, that I could not abide him in mine eye : hec was a 
 moateinitrac thought a month after: pray fp a wlc in another 
 roorac : fie, fic,fic. 
 
 3f».Well,wcll, come, weclc for once feed Mr humor. 
 
 Iud. Get two roomes offat leait if you loue vs. 
 
 Mah. Three, three, maifhr Lynftecks three. 
 
 Lin. Sfootc weele dance to Norwich, and take it there,ifyoule 
 ftay till we rcturne agen ? Heeres a ftir, youle,UI abide a fiery face, 
 that cannot endure a lmoakynofe. 
 
 <SMo. Come lets fatisfic oar appetite. 
 
 fyhi.And that wil be hard for vs,but weele do our beft. £##*»#. 
 
 Cla. So : are they departed ? What firing may wee three thinke 
 that thefc three gallants harp vppon, by bringing vs to this finfull 
 towneof Brainford ? ha? 
 
 Iud. I know what ftring tfiey would harpe vppon, if they could 
 put vs into the right tunc. 
 
 CMtb. I know what one of em buz c d in mine care, \ till like a 
 Theefe in a Candle, he made mine eares burnc.but I fwore to fay 
 nothing. 
 
 £Lt. I knowas verily they hope, and brag one to another, that 
 this night theile row wefiward in our husbands whirries, as wee 
 hope to bee rowd to London to morro we morning inapaucof 
 cares. But wenches lets bee wife, and makeRookcs of them that! 
 warrant are now fetting purfenttj to conycatch Vs.. 
 
 Beth.Corxcnt. 
 
 CU. They (hall know that Citizens wiucs haue wlfenongh to 
 cut {trip twenty fijch guls; tho we are merryj lets not b*?wd: be 
 as wanton as new married wiues, as fantafricke and lightheaded 
 to the cye,as fe thcr-makers, but aspure about the heart, as if we 
 dwelt amongfr. em in Black Fryers. 
 
 tJAUb. Wccle eateand dri.nkc witb.em. Usi ' ■ - 
 
 Chr. Oh yes : eate with em as hupgefly as.(buldiers : drinke.; 
 
 asifwewereFroes italkeas freely as Ie(toi , s,ibut doc as little as 
 
 mifers . Who (\ ike dry Nurfcs.^ haue great brca-ftes but giue no 
 
 Bjilke. It were better wcfhouldlaugh at their popin- lay cs, then 
 
 liue 
 
WEST-irjRD BOB 
 Hue in feare of their prating tongues : tho w e lye all night out of 
 the Citry,they (ball not find country wenches ©fvs .• but fince we 
 ha brought cm thus far into afooles Paradice, lcaue em inc : the 
 leftfhalbca ftock to maintain ts and ourpewfcHowes in laugh- 
 ing at chriltnings, cryings out,andvpfittingsthis 12. month-how 
 fay you wciichesj hauc i fee the Sadie on the right horfc. 
 
 "Booth. O twill be excellent. 
 '» fJ^Ub. But how (hall we fliifr em off i 
 
 Q*. Not as ill debters do their Creditor* ('with good wordes) 
 but as Lawyers do their Clyents when their ouerthrown,bj fome 
 new knauifh tricke : and thus it (hall bee : one of vs muft dtilcm- 
 ble to be fuddenly very fick. 
 
 /W.Ilebefhe,- 
 
 CUr, Nay, tho we can all diflemble well, yet He be /Tie: for men 
 are lb iealous, or rather enuious of one anothers riappincfle(Efpe- 
 cially in this out of rowne gofllping*) that he who (hall mifse his 
 hen, ifhec be a righc Cocke indeedc, will watch the other from 
 treading. 
 \ t Mab. Thats certainc, I knew tharby my felfe. 
 
 \CU. And like Pfeps Dog, vnlcfsc himfelfe might eate hay, wil lie 
 in the manger and fiarue : but heele hinder the horfc from eating 
 any : befides it will be as good as a Welch hookc (or you to keepc 
 out the other at the Staues end : for you may boldly fland vppon 
 this, point, that vnleffe euery mans heeles may bee tripe Yp> you 
 febrne to play at football. • 
 
 /W.Thats certainc : peace I heare them fpitting after their To- 
 bacco. £U. A chairc, a chaire, one of you keepc as great a coyle 
 and calling, and as if you ran for a midwife: tho' ther hoi demy 
 head : whylftl cut my lace. 
 
 Mab . PafTion of me ? maifter iJMttwptly^ maifter L'mJIocke a nd 
 you be men, help to Azvimiftris Tenterhn^e : O quickly,quickly, 
 fljecjficke and taken with an Agony. 
 
 Enter as(b: cryes Mengpolte, ivhiritptele, and Lynficc^e. 
 
 Omni. Sick . ? How ? how now ? whats the matter i 
 
 tJWoncf. Swecte£?«w call vp thy fpirits. 
 
 Qmrc. O maittcr CM»nopel}\ my fpirits will not comet a my cal- 
 lings I am terrible and III : Sure, lure, 1'me ft ruck with fome wic- 
 ked planet, foric hit my very hart -.Ohlfcele my felfe worfeand 
 wotfe. " * kJMo. 
 
WESTWARD HOE. 
 
 Mono. Some burnt Sack for her good wenches: or poflit drink, 
 poxcathisRogue Chamberlin, one of you call him : how her 
 pulfes beatc : a draught of Cynamon water now for her, were 
 better than two Tankerdcs out of the Thames : how now .' Ha. 
 
 f/4.Ul,ill,iU,i!l,il]. 
 
 CMone, Fme accurft ro fpend mony in this Towne of iniquity : 
 thercs no good thing euer comes out of it : and it ftands vppon 
 fuch mufty groundjby reafbnof thcRuier.that I cannot fee how a 
 tender woman can do well inr,Sfoot ? Sick now t caft down now 
 tiscometothepufh. 
 
 £7<*. My mind milgiues me that alt not found at London, 
 
 Whirl?. Poxc on em that be not founde, what need that touch 
 you ? (la. J fearc youle neuer carry me thither. 
 
 Omni. Puh,-puh,fay notfo. 
 
 C/*.Pray let my cloathes be vtterly vndone, and then lay mce 
 in my bed* \ 
 
 Lynfl. Walke vp and downe a little. 
 
 £&. O maifter Lynfioci^ixs no walking will feme my turne : 
 haue me to bed good fweete Mittris Hmitfuck/e, I doubt that okb 
 Hag Gillian otBraimford has bewitcht me. 
 
 U^femo. Looke to her good wenches. 
 
 KjHab* I lo wc willj and to you too : this was excclIeot.Emwf. 
 
 whtrle. This isftrange. 
 Lynfl. Villanousfpitetul luck.- no matter,thjOthcrtwoholdi>yas. 
 
 Whirte. Peace, marke how hees nipt : nothing greeuesmeefo 
 much as that poore Pyramus here mufl haue a wall this night bc- 
 tweenchjmand hifThisbe. 
 
 (JM«no. No remedy trufty Troyltts : and it greeues me as much > 
 that youlc want your falfe (rejftda to night, for heeres no fir Pan- 
 darns to vfher you into your Chamber. 
 
 Lynft, He fomon a p.irlce to one of the Wenches, and fee how 
 all goes. tJMono. No vvhifpring with the common cnimy by this 
 Iron : he fees the Diuell that fees how all goes amongit the wo- 
 men to night; Nay Sfoot?lflftand piping till you dance.damne 
 me. Lyn. Why youle Jet me call to em but at thekey-hole. 
 
 Mont* Pun, good mairter Lynflccke, lienor ftand by whilft 
 y6u giue Fire at your Key-holes? He hold no Trencher till an 
 other fecdestno ftirrup till another gets vp: be no doorc-kecper.I 
 
 ha 
 
WESrwARJ> HOE, 
 
 ha not beenefo often at Court , but I know what the back-fide 
 of the Hangings are made of. lie truft none vnder apeece of 
 Tapiftry, w*. a Couerlet. 
 
 Whirl. What will you fay if the Wenches do this to gull vs? 
 
 Mono.No matter,Ue not be doubly guld, by them and bjr 
 you : goe, will you take the leafe ofthe next chamber and doc 
 • as I do, 
 
 "Both, And whats that? 
 
 iJMiono. Any villanie in your company, but nothing out on't 
 will you fit vp, or lie byte. 
 
 Whirl. Nay lie fure, for lying ismoftinfafhion. 
 
 Mono. Troth then j Ilchaue you before mee . 
 
 'Booth, It fhall be youres. 
 
 Mono, Yours ifaith i: He play lanm with two faces & looke 
 a fquinte both wayes for one night. 
 
 . Lyn. Well Sir,you (hall be our dore-keeper. 
 
 Mono. Since we muft fwim, lets leape into one flood, 
 Wecle either be all naught,or els all good. Exeu *t. 
 
 Enter a noyfe of Fidlers, following the Chamber lyn. 
 
 C/ww». Come,come,come, follow mee,follow mee . I war- 
 rant you ha loft more by not falling into a found laft night, 
 •than euer you got at one lob fince it pleaf'd to make you a 
 noife : I can tell you, gold is no money with 'hem : follow mc 
 and fumas you goe ; you (hall put fomething into their eares, 
 whilft I prouide to put fomething into their bellies . Followc 
 elofe and fum — Exeunt , 
 
 Enter Sir Gorlin and Bird-lime puld along by him. 
 
 (?««,. What kin art thou to Long-^% of Wcftnainfter ? 
 th'art like her. 
 
 Bird. Some-what a like Sir at a blufh, nothing a kin Sir , fa- 
 uingin height of minde, and that (he was a goodly Woman, 
 
 Got,. Mary Anbree, do not you know me ? had not I a fight 
 ofthis fweete Phifnomy at Renifh-winc houfe ! ha laft day ith 
 ScUliatd ha! whither art bound GaUey-foift ? whether arc 
 
 H > . . bound 
 
' 
 
 Bound? whence com ft thou female yeoman - a the gird ? 
 
 Bird. From London Sir. 
 
 Gas,. Doft come to keepc the dore Afcdfan. 
 
 Bird, My reparations hctheris to ipcake with the Gentle- 
 Woman here that drunkc with your worfliippc at the Dutch- 
 hbufe of meeting. 
 
 Got,. Drunkc with mee, you licj not drunk e with me : but 
 'faith what wou'dft with the Women-? they are a bed : art not 
 a mid-wife ? one of hem told mee thou wen-xnight woman. 
 MnJ!ckwithiit:tb*Fidleh. 
 
 Bird.l ha brought fome women a bed, in my time Sir. 
 
 Gox.. I and fome yong-men too-, ha'ft not Padir* ? howc 
 now ! where 's this noyfe. 
 
 Bird, lie commit your worftfip.- 
 
 Go*. To the Stockes ? art a Iuftice-? (Halt not commit mee: .- 
 dance firft 'faith, why fcrapers, appear e Yndet the wenches 
 ComicaU Window, bych' Lord ! Vds Daggers ? cannot finne 
 be fet a fliorc once in a raigne td6 your Country quartenjbuc 
 it muft haue fidling ? what fet of Viliaines are you,you perpc- 
 tuall Ragamuffins ? Fid. The Town eCordbrt5ir. 
 
 Go*. Confort with a pox ? cannot the flaking of the meets 
 be dane'd without your Town piping? nay then let a} hel tore 
 
 Fid.l befeechyou Sir, put-vp yours , and wee'le.putvp 
 ours : . Gtx. .Play you louxie Zf*«f*r*«w:feeJoofcc the Mai- 
 pole is fet yd, wceJc dance- about it : keepethis tirdc-Ji*. 
 (juerelle. 
 
 Bhrdjun no Mackrell, and ile keepe no Circles? 
 
 Cjox., Playjife ot'Phxratnplxy, the Bawde fball teach mee 
 a Scotch Iigge. 
 
 5/r^.fiawd! Idefie thee and thy ligges whatfoeuer thou 
 art ; were I in place where, Ide make thee proue thy wordes. 
 
 Gox.. I wud proue 'hem Mother beft be truft : why doe not 
 I know youGranam? and that Suger-loafc ? ha J doc I not ; 
 Mdgtr*. 
 
 Bird.l'aai none ofyout Meggcs,de not nick-name me fo.: 
 I will not be nickr. 
 
 Gox, You will riot-: you will not : how many of my. name 
 ( pfthe Glowormts ) haue paid for your, furr'd Gownes, thou 
 
 Woman? 
 
IT&STfrjtRB HOE. 
 
 Womans broker. 
 
 ■Bint. No Sir, 1 fcorneto bee beholding to any Glo-worme 
 thatliucs vppon Earth for my furrc: I can keepe my felfe 
 warme without Glowormes, 
 
 ,Gox.. Caoft fing Wood T pecker ? come fing and wake *hem. 
 
 Bird. Wud you fliould well know it, 1 am no finging Wo- 
 man, i <?«,. Howie then ! sfootc fing, or howle., or lie break 
 your Eftrich Egihcll there. 
 
 Bird. MyflEgge hurts not you.what doc you meane to iflo- 
 rifi> lb. Go*. . Siqg Madge, Madge, fing Owlet. 
 
 Bird.How can I ling with fitch aibwre face — I am haunted 
 with a caugh and cannot fing. 
 
 Go*,. One of your Inftruments Mowntibahkes, come, here 
 clutch: clutch. 
 
 . Bird. Alas Sir, I'me an olde woman, and knowe not how to 
 clutch an inftrument. 
 
 . G»$. Looke maike too and Fro as I rub it : make a noyfe : 
 Its fib matter : any hunts vp, to waken vice. 
 
 Bird. I fiiall neuer rub it in tune. G oz,. Will you fcrape? 
 
 Biod- So you will let me go into the parties , I will fawe,8c 
 makea-nqyic. 
 
 . G**,. Doe then : (hatt into the parties, and part "hem: (hat 
 myleaneL<ew<f. 
 
 Bird. If I mufl necdes play the Foole in my olde dayes , let 
 meehaue the biggeft inftrument, became lean hold that 
 belt: 1 (hall cough like a broken winded horfe, if I gape 
 once to fing once. 
 
 Cj<n.. No matter cough out thy Lungs. 
 
 Bird. No Sir, tho Ime olde, and worme-eatcn line not 
 fo rotten- ■ ■ ■ • — — Gtufhet. 
 
 , , a song. 
 
 Will your worfhip be ridde of me now. 
 
 <§ox.. Faine,as rich-mens heyres would bee of their gowtyc 
 dads: thats the hot-houfe , where your parties are (weatmg'r 
 cmjWe: goe, tell the Hce parties I hauefent'hema Mafte t» 
 their (hippe. , 
 
 Bird. Yes forfooth lie do your errand. Exit. 
 
 Ha f» 
 
 i 
 
WESTWARD HOE. 
 GoK, Halfc mufty ftill by thundt ing hue: with what wedge 
 ofvillanic might I dcauc out an howreor two ? Fid!ers,coriK: 
 ftrikcvp. march before mec.the Chambcrlaitie fhall put a 
 Crowne for you into his bill of Items:, you (hall fin<* bawdic 
 fongs vnder euery window ith Towne : vp will the *Clowries 
 ftart, downc come the Wenches,wee'lc fct the Men a fiohting 
 the Women a fcolding^heDogs a barking , you fhalf^o on 
 ndling.and I follow dancing Lanura : curry your inftrumcnts: 
 play and away. Exit. 
 
 Enter Tentcr-hooke, Hony-fucWcWafer^Parenthefis,., 
 anihu -wife mth Ambuih WChamberJayn, 
 
 Htny. Scrieant Ambu(b t as th'art art honeft fellow, fcowte 
 in fome back roome, till the watch-word be giuen for fallying 
 forth. Amb.Uuns the Moufe. Exit. 
 
 Tent. —A little low-woman faift thou, —in a Veluct-cappe- 
 and one of 'him in a Beauer ? brother Ho>wy-fuckle\in& brau 
 ther Wafer, hearke— they arc they. 
 
 W*£But art fui e theyr husbands are a bed with 'hem ? 
 
 Cha. I.thinkefo Sir, I know not,I left 'hem together in one 
 roome: and what diuifion fell amongft 'hem, the rates can 
 defcouernotl. 
 
 Tent. J-eauc vs good Chamberlaine , wee are lome of their 
 friends : Ieaue vs good Chamber laine : be merry a little: leaue 
 «s honeft Chambcilainc— Exit, Wee. are abuzd , we* are 
 bought and fold in Brain ford Market ; neuer did the Meknefle 
 of one belyed nurfe-child, fticke fo col J to the heartes of three 
 Fathers: never were three innocent Cittizensfo horribly, to 
 abhominably wrung vnder the withers. 
 
 Beth. What /hall wee do ? how fhall we helpe oW fdues ? 
 
 Hony. How /hall we pull this thernc out off our foote be- 
 fore it ran cle? 
 
 Tent. Yes , yes , yes, well enough ; one of vs flay here to 
 watch-! doe you fee : to watch ; haue an eye s haue an ear«. I 
 and my brother Jf<i/*r, and Maiii. 7«/?>»fcwo,will fet thetownc: 
 in an infurre&ion, bring hither the Conftabfe, and his BiU- 
 snea, breake open vpon hem , take 'hem in their wickedncfle* 
 
 and 
 
WESTWARD HOE, 
 andpUt'hemtoeheir purgation. il l\*\ 
 
 "Both. A greed. - Par. Ha:, ha, purgation. "J « ' * 
 
 TVwr.Wce'le hauC 'hem before fomfcCountrey luftice of 
 Cotton (for welcome to be bound to the Peace ) and tkis lu • 
 ftke £hall draw his Sword in our defence, if we finde hem to 
 be Malefactors wee'le tide 'hem. 
 
 Hony. Agreed : doc not fay,but doo l come. 
 
 Pair. Are you mad ? do you know what you doe ? whether 
 wi!l you runne .' 
 \AU j, To fet the Towne an an vprore. 
 
 Par.An vprore ! will you make the TowneC-men think,tfaat 
 Lendeners neuer come hither but vpoh Samt Tkemafes night ? 
 Sayyou fliould rattle vp the Conftable : thrafh all theCgun- 
 trey together, hedge in the houfe with Flayles , Pike-ftaucs, 
 and Pitch-forkes , take your wiues napping x thefe Wefteinc 
 Smelts nibling , and that like fomany Vklcant , eucry Srrikh 
 fliould difcouer his Venus dancing with Mats , in a net ? wud 
 this plafter cure the head-ake. 
 
 Tent. I, it wood. All j. Nay it fluid. 
 
 Par^NereNegp, no no, it fliall bee proud vnto you , your 
 Beads would ake worfc : when women are. proclaymed to bee 
 Kght|tfceyferucto be more light, for who dare difprouea 
 Proclamation. Tent J but when-light Wiues make heauy huf- 
 bands, let thefe husbands play mad Hamlet-jind crie reuenge, 
 come, and weelc do fo. 
 " Mfi.btfi. Pray flay, be not fo beady at my intrcaty. 
 
 Am.My Wiife mtreatsyou, and 1 intreat you to haue mercy 
 on your fehtes, though you haue none ouerthe women. ]\* 
 tell you a talc : this laft Chiiftmas a Cittizen and his wife ( as 
 it might be one of you ) were inuited to the Rcuells one ni°ht 
 atone of the Innes a Court Mhe husband ( hauing bufincfl'e ) 
 tiufts his wife thither to take vp a roomc for him before : fliee 
 did fo : but before fheewent; doubts a riling, whatblockes 
 her husband would ftumblc at, to hinder his entrance , It was 
 eonfulted vpon, by what token, by what t iick„ by what ban- 
 ner, or brooch he fliould bee knowne to bee hce whenhee 
 wrapt at the Gate: 
 
 ■AUt,, Very good,. 
 
 H % Par, 
 

 WE S TWA RD H OE. 
 Par. The croud he was told would begreater,their clamor* 
 gTcater.and able to droune the throats of a fltoule of fiftwiues: 
 he himfelfe therefore deuifesanexcellent watch-word,and the 
 fig'.ie at which he would hang out himfelfe, (hould be a home: 
 he would wind his home , and that fliauld giae 'hem warning 
 that he was come. .•■;.-... . " 
 
 Alt. j. So. Par. The torchmen and whifflers had an Item . 
 to receaiuehira : he comes, ringes out his home with aualla- 
 rum , enters with a ftiowte, all the houfe rifes (thinking fame 
 Co wgeld c r preft in) his wife bluflit,the company Ieftcd.the Am- 
 ple man like a begger going to the ftocki laught , as not being 
 fencible of his own diigracc,& hereupon the punyes fet downe 
 thisdecre that no man (hall hereafter come to laugh at their 
 reuclls(if his wife be entred before him)rnles he cary his home 
 about him Waf. Jle not trouble them. 
 
 Par. S^if youtrompeta broad and preach at the r market 
 ctoffe.you wiucs (hame,tis your owne flume, ioj'iitj 
 All. What fliall we doe then! tj 
 
 Par. Take my councell , lie aske no fee fort : bar out hoffc 
 banifli mine hoftes ,beatc a way the Chamberlin,Iet the oftlers 
 walke.cnteryou the chambers peaceably, locke the dores gin- 
 gerly ,looke vpon your wiucs wofiilly, but vpon the euill-docrs, 
 moft wickedly. Tent. What fliall wee reap by this. 
 
 Par, An excellent harueft , this,you (haU hearc the poore 
 moufe-trapt-guilty-genttemen call for mercy; your wiucs you 
 fliall fee kneelig at your feet, and weeping , and wringing, and 
 blufliing, and curling Brainford and cryingpardtna mey&ardo- 
 na moy$xrdma msy , whilftyou haue the choifc to ftand either 
 as Iudgcs to condemne 'hcm.beadles to torment *hem,or con- 
 feflots toabfelued 'hem: And what a glory will it be foryou 3. 
 to kifle your wtues like forgetfull husbands,to exhort and for- 
 giue the young men like pittifull lathers ; then to call for oares, 
 then to cry hay for London 4 then to make a Supper , .thento 
 drownc ail in Sacke and Suger,then to goe to bed, and then to 
 rift and open fhop,wherc you may afke any man what he lacks 
 with your cap off, and none fliall perceiue whether the bums 
 wring you. Tent. Weele raifc no towncs. 
 
 Hony, No,no, lets knock firft. Wa, I thats beft Be fomem a 
 parlc.— k»<*ki CU. 
 
WESTWARD HOE. 
 
 Cla. Whofe there ? haue you ftock-firh in hand that you beat 
 ib hard: who are you? lent . thats my wife;let liifiiniano fpeak 
 for al they know our ToDgues. Cla. What a murre n aile thcii 
 
 colts, to keepe fuch a kicking ? Monopoly. Par, Yes. 
 Cla, h M. Lynflockvy too, and the Captaine. 
 Par. Both are in the field : will you open your dole? 
 * Cla. O you arc proper Gamftcrs to bring falfc dice with you 
 fro London to cheat your felues. Ifl T poffible that 3 fliallowe 
 women fliould gul.3. fuch Gallants. TYwr.What meanes this. 
 
 C/U.Haue we defied you vpon the wals all night toopen our 
 gates to you ith morning. Ourhonefthusband9-they(fillyme) 
 lit praying in then - beds now,that the water vnder vs-may not 
 be rough,the tilt that couers vs may not be renr,& the ftraw e 
 about our fectc may keepe our prittylegs waime. I warrant 
 they walk vpo Queen-hiue(as Ltander did for Herei)io watch 
 for our landing,and fhould we wrong fuchkind hearts ? wud 
 we might euer be trobled with the tooth-ach the. lent.1 bis 
 thing that makes foolcs of vs thus, is my wife; Knockes, 
 
 Mab. 1,1 knock your bellies fbll,we hugg one another a bed 
 and lie laughing till we tickle againe to remember how wee 
 fwt you a Bat-fowling. Waf. An Almond Pairat: that's my 
 Mabs voice, 1 know by the found. Par. Sfoote you ha fpoild 
 halfc already,8t youlc fpoileal,ifyoudamnotvpyournicii;hs 
 villanic! nothing but villany;Ime afraid they haue fmclt your 
 breaths at the key hole,& now they fet you to catch Flofiders, 
 whilft in the meane time, the concupifcentious Ma'cfa&ors 
 make 'em ready & take L6d6 napping.^/ 3 .He not be guld fo 
 
 T«».Shew your felues to be men, and breake open dorcs. 
 
 Par. Breake open doores,& flicw your felues to be beafts:if ■ 
 you break ope dorcs,your wiues may lay flat burglary toyour ■■ 
 charge. Hony. Lay a pudding; buiglarie. 
 
 Par, Will you then turne £or«/ow/becaufe you are among 
 <lowrs? flial it-be faid you haue no braines being in Brainfora, 
 
 M.Parcnthefis we will enter and fet vpon 'cm. 
 
 Par, Well dofo : but enter not fothat all the countrey may 
 crie fliame of your doings : knocke 'hem dovvne, burft ope 
 Erebkt, and bring an old houfeouer your heads if you do. 
 
 Waf. No matter,weele bcareit of with head &fhoulders. \n 
 
 MabJTou canot enter indeed la,gods my pittikin our 3 huf- 
 - _ bands 
 
WESTwAKT> HOE. 
 bands fomon 3 parlce ; let that long old woman either creepe 
 ynderthcbedorelfcftand vpright behind the painted doth. 
 Exit. tVaf. Doe you heare: you Mabel : Motets ncuer 
 hide our heads now,for we are defcouered. 
 
 Hony. But all this while, my Hony-ptckle appeares not . 
 Par. Why then two of them haue pitcht their tents there & 
 yours lies in Ambufcado with your enemy there. 
 Hony. Sundvpon your gard there, whilil I batter here, knock. 
 Mono. Who's there? Par. Hold, lie fpeake in a fmall voice 
 like one of the women; here's a friend: are you vp ? rize,rize ; 
 ftir,ftirre. Mono. Vds foote, what Weafell are you ? are you 
 goin o to catch Qiiailes,that you bring your pipes with you.il e 
 ■ lee what troubled Ghoit it is that cannot flcepe. Looker out. 
 Tent. O biiiR. Monopoly God faueyou. 
 Mono. Amen , for the laft time I fawe you , the Diuell was at 
 mine elbow in Bufre, what ! 3 mery men,& j.mery men , & j. 
 merry men be we too, Hon. How do's my \Krtfe M. Monop, 
 MoHo.Who ? my ouerthwart neighbour : parting well: this is 
 kindly don: Sir GozJut is not far from you : wee le ioyne our 
 Armies prefendy, here be rare fields to walk in-Captaine rize, 
 Captain Lynfioc\.btftu your ftumps/or the TbHeftint areyp- 
 on vs Exit. Tent, This Monopoly is an arrant knaue , a cog- 
 ging knaue/or all hees a Courtier, if Monopoly bee fuffcrd to 
 ride vp and downe with other mens wiues, heele vn-do both 
 Citty and Countrey. Enter the three wiues. 
 
 Par.Mol, mask? thy fclfe.they {hall not know thee. 
 AH t, 4 How now fweet hcarts,what make yoii rwur. 
 iv.if. iVot that which you make here. 
 Tent. Mary you make Bulls ofyour husbands. < 
 Cla. Buzzards do we not ? out you yellow infirmities: do al 
 flowers rtiew in your eyes like Columbines. 
 
 fVitf. Wife what faies the Collier ? is not thy Soulc blacker 
 then his coa'c; ? how docs the child,; howe does my fleflh and 
 bloud wife ? Mob. Your flefli and blond is very well recoue- 
 red now moufc- Waf, I know tis : the Collier has a fack-full 
 of newes to empty. 
 
 Tent. Clare Wnere be your two ringes with Diamonds? 
 Clare, At hand fir, here with a wet finger. 
 
 Tejtt, 
 
Tent. I dreamt you had loft hem-what a prophane '/arlet 
 is tKss ftiouldcr clapper,to lye ihus vpon my wife & her ringcs. 
 Enter Monopoly,WhyrIpooIe and Lynfloek. 
 
 AVL.%. Saw you gentlemen} ! 
 
 , Tent. Hony. Waf. Arid you and our vriucs ftcm you. j 
 
 Mono. .Your vviucs hauc-iaudethemfelues for onc„ 
 
 fent. Maift. Monop oly ,ihoI meet yon in hie German y,\ hope 
 you can vndeiftand broken Englifh , haue you difchargd your { 
 
 debt. j •■:-• 
 
 Mono, yes Sir;with a duble charge, your Harpy that fet his 
 ten cemmandemets vpon my backe had 2.Pyamondes to fauc 
 himharmlcs. 
 
 TtntMfmSm 
 
 Mono.Mc Sir,do you think there be no dyamond co ui tiers . 
 
 Enter. Ambufh, 
 Tent, Sargent Ambufk iflue foilhyMonopoly lie cut offycur 
 conuoymaiftjSargantvfwAtyS, I charge you as you hope to 
 receauc cemfort tiom the fmell of Mace fpeake not like a Sar- 
 gent,butdealehoncft!y,of whome hadycuthc dyamondes. 
 Amb. O f your wife Sir lflme an hor ell man . 
 £U. Of me you peuter-buttoried rafcall 
 Mono, Siria you thathueby nothing but thecarion of 
 poulti y. C^" SchooIeMaifteiharke neither. 
 
 Mono , Where aie my lems and prctious ftones that were 
 my bale. 
 
 Awtb; Forth comming Sii' tho your mony is not,yourcr edi- 
 ter has hem. 
 
 Par .Excellent; peace,why M. 7 enterhookfy if the dyamondes 
 be ol the reported valuc,Ile paie your mony receaue \m,kcepe t 
 'hem till Maift. Monopoly be fatter ith puile : for Maitt.Mono- 
 fsly I know you wil not be long empty M^t, Monopoly . 
 
 £la. Let him heme hem good Ji»kerhocke i w here are they; 
 lent, At home,Uocki hem vp.« — — Enter Birdlime. 
 Bird, No indeed foi-fcothjUockthem vp, & thos are they 
 y'cur vifehas,andi;hofe are ihcy ycurfcusband(like a bad liner 
 asheis)woukih£i'Cgiucr)to ar.oce oimiiie, (that lies inmy ' 
 houfe to take phif.ek) to haue committed flefhly treafon with 
 hes. lent. 1 at y out houfe— y r u ol d— « 
 
 T Bird. 
 
F 
 
 S#rrf. You perdy , and that honcft batchiler j nciier eall me 
 old for the matter . lad .' Motherly woman hees my husband 
 and no Batchelers buttons arc at bis doublcte 
 
 Bird, las, I fpeake Innocently and that leanegehtlennnfet 
 'in his italic there: But as Ime a /inner , both I and the yong 
 woman had an eyeto the mayne chance , & tho they brought 
 more a bout 'hem than captcn Cmdifbis yoiage came t o, they 
 fhould not, nor could not (vnles I had bin a naughty woman) 
 haue entredtheftraytes. ^/f^.Hauewefmeltyodout foxes. 
 
 Cla. Doe you came after vs with hue' and cry when you are 
 . the theeues your Selucs. 
 Ittd. Murder I fee cannot be hid, but if this old S-ybill of yours 
 lpeake orades/ormypart,I!ebe likean Almanackethat threa. 
 tens nothing but fbulewether. 
 
 Tent.Xh.zt bawd has bin dambd.500 rimes,and is her word 
 to betaken. 
 
 Par. To be dambd once is enough/or any one of her coate, 
 . Bird. WhySir.whatismy coat that you fitt thus vpon my 
 Scuts. 
 
 Par. Thy Coat is an ancient Coat, one of the feauen de adly 
 finnes, put thy coat firft to making; but dp you heareiydu mo- 
 th er of Iniquity , you thai eauloofe and find your cares when 
 you lift go > faile with the reft of your baudie-traffikers to the 
 place of lixe.pennySinfulneflcthefubvrbes. , 
 
 Bird.l fcornetheSmftilnefleofany fubvrbes in Chriftendom 
 tis welknownelhauevp-rizers and downe-Iyers within the 
 Ci:ty,night by night,like a prophane fellow as thou art. 
 
 Par. Right, I know thou haft ,-Be tell you Gentle-folkes, 
 thcres mcrerefort to this Fortune r teller,t'»e;i of fbrlorne wiues 
 mimed too'd husbands, and of Greene-ficktiefle Wenches 
 that can get no husbands to the houfe of a wife- Worn jn. Shee 
 has tricks to keepc a vaulting houfe vnder the Lawes nofe. 
 . Jiird. Thou doft the Lawesnofe wrong to bely mee^fo. 
 
 Prr. For either a cunning woman has aChaber in heir houfe 
 or aPhificionjor a picture miker , or an Attorney , becaufe «1I 
 thefcare good Clokes for the raine. And then if the female 
 party that's cliented aboue-Scairesj beyong,- Shees-a Squires 
 daughter of lo we degree, that lies there for phificke, or tomes 
 
 vp 
 
vp tobe placed with a Counceflc: if of middle age, fheesa 
 Widow, and has fates at the terme or £o. 
 " Ifid. O fie vpon her, bui?ne the witch out of dur company. 
 
 f/a. Lets hem her out ofFBrainford, if fliec get not thefa- 
 fterto London. 
 
 Mab, O no, for Gods fake, rather hem her out off London, 
 and let herkeepe in Brainford Hill. 
 
 Bird. No you cannot heirs me out of London ; had I known 
 this your rings fhould ha bin poxt er- 1 wud ha toucht 'hem : 
 I will take a patrc of Oarcs,and I cauc you. Exit, 
 Par. Let that ruine of intemperance bee rakt vp in duft and 
 afhes, and now tell nie,if you had rayfed the Towne, had not 
 the tiles tumbled vpon your heads; for you fee your Wiues are 
 chart, thefe Gentlemen ciuill, all is but amerriment,all but a 
 May-game ; fhe has her Diamonds , you ftiall haue your mo- 
 ney 1 the child is recouered , the falle Collier difcouered , they 
 came to Brainford to be merry, you were caught in Bird-lime; 
 and therefore fet the Hares-head againft the Goofe-giblets, 
 put ail inftruments in tune, and euery husband play muficke 
 vpon the lips of his Wife whilft I begin firft. 
 
 Omt.Come wenches bee't fo, 
 
 lla.Mi&.IuJimafio iftyou were afham'd all this while of 
 ftiewing your face, is ftie your wife Schoolemaifter. 
 Par Lookeyou,yourSchoole-maiftcrhas bininFn*»r<?, and 
 loft his hayre, no more Tarenthejis now, but Ittftiniano, I will 
 now play the Merchant wixh you . Lookc not mange at her, 
 nor at mee. the ftory of vs both , ftiall bee as good, as an olde 
 wiues ta!e,to cut offour way to London, 
 
 Ebttr Chamberlain, 
 How now? 
 
 Cham. Alas Sir , the Knight yonder Sir Goz,Um has almcft 
 his throat cut by Powlterers and Towncf-men and raf calls ,& 
 alltheNoife that went with himpoore fellowes haue their 
 Fidle-cafes-puld ouer their eares. 
 
 Omn.ls Sir goblin hurt ? 
 
 Cham Not much hurt Sir, but he bleedes like a Pig, for his 
 crowne's crackt. 
 
 l*d. Then feas he beene twife cut ith head fincc wc landed, 
 
 I * once 
 
w»o~iTr arscay xj w&i 
 
 once with a Pottle=poeand now with old iron . 
 
 Par. Gendemcn haften to his refeu? fome,whilft others call 
 forOarcs. * 
 
 Omn, Away then to London. 
 
 Par. Farewell Brainfbrd.~ 
 Goldthat buyes health, can neuerbe ill fpent, 
 Nor howtes laid out in hanr.eleflc meryment. Exen»t. 
 
 Fini* Aft, Quint. 
 
 SONG. 
 
 OAres, Oares,Oares,0ares: 
 To London bay $ to Londmhaj: . 
 Hoift vp fay Us and Ins away r 
 
 forthifafefihay 
 For vs to land is London fhores. 
 , Oares, Oarer, Oares,Oares: 
 Quickly fballwee get to Land, 
 Jfjroit>ifjrott,ifjo*, 
 Lend vs but half* a hand. 
 OUndvshalfeahand. Exemt. . 
 
 FINIS. 
 
 
 ■ y , 
 
 i'i