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THE VALUE OF FRIENDSHIP
 
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FRIENDSHIP

OSTON 2
Copyright, 1904
By H. M. CaLpweE Lt Co.

COLONIAL PRESS
Electrotyped and Printed by C. H. Simonds & Co.
Boston, Mass., U.S.A.
2 22 LS ee

 
 
TO A FRIEND

Long was my spirit like some lonely reef
In gray, unvisited oceans, where the Sea,
Relentless, drove its salt waves over me,
A cold, monotonous surf of unbelief;
But ere I hardened into hopeless grief,
Thou camest, bringing love, faith, sympathy;
I found myself and God in finding thee,
And my long dream of doubt looked void and
brief.
Then was my soul, with her new glory dazed,
Like that green island among tropic seas
When the strange sail approached the won-
dering shore,
And startled eyes beheld the cross upraised,
While the great Spaniard sank upon his knees,
And the Te Deum shook San Salvador!

Frederic Lawrence Knowles
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NOTE

Thanks are due to the following publishers
whose generous consent to use copyright ma-
terial has made the compilation possible:
Fleming H. Revell Company: Hugh Black’s
“Friendship;” Houghton, Mifflin & Co.: E. R.
Sil’s_-““Prose;* T. TI. Munger’s “On “the
Threshold;” Little, Brown & Co.: Emily Dickin-
son’s “Letters;” P. G. Hamerton’s “The In-
tellectual Life” and ‘“ Human Intercourse; ”
W. G. Alger’s “The Friendships of Women;”
Small, Maynard & Co.: Walt Whitman’s “ Leaves
of Grass” and “Complete Prose;” The Brown
Book of Boston: Theodosia Garrison’s “Old
Friendship Street.” The compiler wishes also
to make personal acknowledgments to the follow-
ing authors: Dr. Edward Everett Hale, Rev.
Ww. C. Gannett, Dr. H. Clay Trumbull, Miss
Katherine E. Conway, Mr. Frank Putnam, and
Mr. Amos R. Wells.
INTRODUCTION

Friendship is common to all peoples and all
times. The blood-compacts, the exchange of
gifts, and the comradeships in battle which are
found in savage tribes and among primitive
races hardly deserve, it is true, the name that
civilized man gives to this most exalted of pas-
sions. Yet long before the Christian era we
meet with examples of friendship which equal
in devotion and intensity anything in contem-
porary annals.

Passing over the beautiful Hebrew tales of
Ruth and Naomi, and of Jonathan and David,
we have only to turn to the history of Greece
in order to find many notable stories of friend-
ship, of which the legends of Herakles and Hylas,
Apollo and Hyacinth, and Orestes and Pylades
occur at once to the mind. Who has forgotten
the grief of Pollux upon the death of his be-
loved Castor, or the friendship of Philolaus for
Diocles, which was so strong that after their
death “even their graves were turned toward
one another in token of their affection.” The
undying attachment of Achilles for Patroclus
forms the main motive of Homer’s Iliad, and

5
INTRODUCTION

the story of the Theban friends, Epaminondas
and Pelopidas, is in every schoolboy’s memory.

Still more noteworthy, if possible, is the story
of the “Sacred Band of Thebans,’ a company
of one hundred and fifty pair of friends. ‘Two
by two in a bond of sacred friendship these sol-
diers enlisted for a life-and-death struggle to-
gether; and such heroes they were, through being
such friends, that their band was never overborne
in conflict until the great battle of Chaeronea;
and then they all stood and fell together, ‘ faithful
unto death.’ When Philip of Macedon looked
down upon those three hundred hero-friends,
“dead in their armour, heaped one upon another,
having met the spears of the phalanx face to
face,’ he marvelled at the sight; and learning that
it was the Band of Friends, he burst into tears,
and said, ‘ Perish those who would suspect these
men of doing or abetting anything base!’”

“Fraternity in arms,’ says J. Addington
Symonds, “played for the Greek race the same
part as the idealization of women for the knight-
hood of feudal Europe.”

But it would be a mistake to assume that friend-
ship among the Greeks rested merely on military
comradeships. Philosophers and their pupils,
sculptors and favourite models, fellow orators,
statesmen, and poets, also provide instances of
closely cemented friendships. Edward Carpenter,
a thorough student of the subject, says of friend-
ship among the Greeks, that it “was the chief
source of their bravery and independence, one

6
INTRODUCTION >

of the main motives of their art, and so far an
organic part of their whole polity that it is dif-
ficult to imagine the one without the other.
. ... Plato, himself, may almost be said to have
founded his philosophy on this sentiment.”

The Greeks, however, had no monopoly of
friendship; we find remarkable instances among
the Romans, Eastern races, mediaeval and early
Christian states, as well as in every nation of
the modern world. This will be made apparent
by alluding, without further comment, to the
attachments of Horace and Maecenas, Muham-
mad and Aboo Bekr, Roland and Oliver, St.
Thomas Aquinas and St. Bonaventura, Luther
and Melanchthon, Hampden and Pym, Goethe and
Schiller, Washington and Hamilton, Wordsworth
and Coleridge, Mme. de Staél and Mme. Ré-
camier, Tennyson and Hallam. . Among the
friendships between men and women may be
cited those of Michael Angelo and Vittoria
Colonna, of Johnson and Mrs. Thrale, of Cowper
and Mary Unwin, and of Fenelon and Mme.
Guion. Friendship has influenced kings, power-
fully affected philosophy and religion, and in-
spired the poetry of the world, from the early
Hindoo and Scandinavian epics to the great
elegies of Tennyson and Matthew Arnold.

A very suggestive study might be made of the
part which friendship played in the lives of those
who have written celebrated essays upon the
theme. Cicero, Bacon, Emerson, and Thoreau
offer, perhaps, the best available examples. With-

7
INTRODUCTION

out attempting anything more than a hasty
glance at the biographies of this quartette, so
widely separated in time, and so unlike in person-
ality, yet standing upon common ground in their
ideal reverence for the virtue they celebrate, we
may inquire briefly how each was influenced by
his friendships.

Cicero’s “De Amicitia,’ possibly the noblest
treatise on the theme ever penned, discusses the
nature and origin of friendship; among what
sorts of persons the sentiment should exist; by
what methods it may be maintained; and what
should be its laws and duties. Written as it was
at the end of Cicero’s life, it cannot but call con-
stantly to the reader’s mind the affection which
the great orator cherished for his friend Atticus,
to whom more than half his extant letters were
addressed, and for whom he had one of the lofti-
est personal attachments known to history. The
essay was written by Cicero especially for the
eyes of this refined Roman scholar, whose friend
he had been for nearly half a century, and it
reflects unconsciously the lights and shadows of
that memorable friendship. In domestic, philan-
thropic, and social virtues, Cicero anticipated the
familiar modern gospel of the brotherhood of
man. His spirit is shown in the tender love he
bore his brother, son, nephew, and daughter, but
is most of all made manifest in his friendship for
Atticus, regarding which Anthony Trollope says,
in the course of his sympathetic biography, “It
was one of that nature that it could not only bear

8
INTRODUCTION

hard words, but could occasionally give them
without fear of a breach. Can any man read the
records of this long affection without wishing
that he might be blessed with such a friendship? ”
And again: “To have loved his neighbour as
himself before the teaching of Christ, was much
to achieve; and that he did this is what I claim
for Cicero.” The author of “De Amicitia” had
many faults of character which have been duly
exploited by historians, but he may surely be
forgiven much—like her of old—because he
“loved much.”

It is a far cry from Cicero to Bacon. Not
only do we leap from the ancient to the modern
world, but we also find unfortunately a corre-
sponding distance in types of character. Bacon
was an egoist. His own political advancement
was his single purpose. Like Cicero, he was
naturally courteous and amiable, but nothing, not
even friendship, was permitted to stand in the
path of his pet ambition. And friendship, at best,
was with him a lukewarm liking or deference,
rather than a passion. Henry Morley speaks of
the “undue predominance” in him “of the intel-
lectual over the emotional.” “His love,’ says
Doctor Fischer, of Heidelberg, “was a cool in-
clination, his hatred a cool dislike. It was easy
for him to abandon, and even to persecute a
fallen friend for the sake of gaining royal favour,
or to contract a marriage which offered no charm
but wealth.” The Earl of Essex showed Bacon
the greatest friendship, and presented him with

9
INTRODUCTION

an estate. But the nobleman’s affection met only
with basest ingratitude. As one of Bacon’s
biographers tells us: “When Essex was brought
to trial for a conspiracy against the queen, the
friend whom he had so largely obliged and con-
fided in not only deserted him in the hour of
need, but unnecessarily appeared as counsel
against him, and by every act and ingenuity as
a pleader endeavoured to magnify his crimes.”
It must not be inferred that Bacon was malig-
nantly cruel. There is every evidence for believ-
ing that his friendship for Essex was, until this
unfortunate crisis in the latter’s life, genuinely
sincere. Indeed, when the earl’s political schemes
involved him in serious trouble, Bacon pleaded
for him, and used his utmost influence in his
behalf. But as soon as the ambitious statesman
came to believe that his own reputation and pros-
pect for preferment would suffer, his attachment
proved to be too weak to stand the strain. Self-
love triumphed over love for the unfortunate
Essex, and Bacon openly appeared against him
at the trial.

In turning from Bacon to the modern Diogenes,
Henry David Thoreau, we leave the atmosphere
of the treacherous and tragic, to breath the pure
air of honest friendship. Though pure, however,
highly rarefied. That the author of “Walden”
was staunchly faithful to his friends, we have
abundant testimony, but that he was in the main
egoistic and ungenial is equally evident. He
was thrifty, austere, fond of solitude, and con-

10

=
INTRODUCTION ‘

stantly bent on self-improvement. Emerson said
of him that it was much easier for Thoreau to
say no than yes. “His ruling passion,” says
Stevenson, “was to keep himself unspotted from
the world.” The same critic adds, “He was
so eager to cultivate himself, and to be happy
in his own society, that he could consent with
difficulty even to the interruptions of friendship.
“Such are my engagements to myself that I dare
not promise,’ he once wrote in answer to an
invitation.” One of his friends remarked, “I love
Henry, but I cannot like him; and as for taking
his arm, I should as soon think of taking the
arm of an elm-tree!” “He is, as yet,” said
Margaret Fuller, “a somewhat bare hill, which
the warm gales of spring have not visited.” It
would be easy, however, to picture Thoreau as
far more of a Spartan than he was. He had a
most lovable and affectionate side. The death
of his brother John left him for a time nearly
crushed with grief. His sister bore testimony to
his gentle cheerfulness during the last illness
of his life. He cared greatly for little children,
and, as his biographer, Mr. Salt, tells us, had a
“remarkable power of interesting and amusing
them.” If his social instinct was, generally
speaking, undeveloped, he held his few friendships
with tenacity to the end. It may be true that,
as one critic asserts, his main purpose in form-
ing friendships was his own moral profit rather
than the joy of hearty mutual intercourse, but
this is by no means the last word to be said on
II
INTRODUCTION

the subject. His oversensitiveness, exacting tem-
perament, and lack of urbanity prevented his
being a companion of any except those who lived
on his own high and somewhat arid plane, but
he was fully appreciated by the few elected souls
who understood him. “I found him the staunch-
est of friends,” is the testimony of Mr. Frank B.
Sanborn. Emerson and Ellery Channing also
bore witness to his constancy in friendship. Yet
despite their honest words of eulogy, it remains
true that Thoreau’s chief intimate and comrade
was Nature, and that his human friendships were
rather more of the head than of the heart.
Emerson had a different temperament. He was
gentle, urbane, and hospitable. “His friends,”
says Doctor Holmes, “were all who knew him.”
He kept open house in Concord; he entertained
reformers, hero-worshippers, distant relatives, and
even cranks, with exemplary patience. “ Every
kind and manner of man interested him,” writes
Cabot, “and the more the greater the difference
from himself.” In all this, he could hardly be
further removed from Thoreau, to whom the
average man was far less welcome a companion
than a squirrel or a woodchuck. But it is hard
to believe that individual friendships meant even
as much to Emerson as to Thoreau. He would
hold intercourse with his friend, if at all, on a
very lofty plane. It was a long procession of
people of all sorts that made its way to the
master’s study in Concord, and not a few of
this number registered themselves before the

12
INTRODUCTION

.
world as friends of the philosopher; but though
many of those who knocked were admitted, few
were chosen. Emerson, much as he was alone,
wished ever to be near people, but he seemed
incapable of taking them into the inmost sanc-
tuary of his heart. His attitude toward even his
intimate associates was that of genial friendliness
rather than that of passionate friendship. There
is an unconscious touch of pathos in his saying
of the lonely man that he “is solitary because
he has society in his thought, and, when people
come in, they drive away his society, and isolate
him. We would all be public men if we could
afford it. I am wholly private; such is the pov-
erty of my constitution.”

The lives of Cicero, Bacon, and the two Con-
cord philosophers might fairly be allowed to
stand as representative. A brief word, however,
may be added in conclusion about a few others
whose writings and personalities bear upon our
theme.

The life of Montaigne, who has left us in his
essay on friendship one of the noblest tributes
to this virtue since the time of Aristotle and
Plato, was completely changed by his pure pas-
sion — passing the love of women—for Etienne
de la Boétie. And there is scarcely need to re-
mind the reader that the greatest elegiac poem
of modern times, “In Memoriam,” was the fruit
of an attachment so loyal and intense that it
has already become a part of classic literary
history.

13
INTRODUCTION

When we turn to Walt Whitman we reach a
loftier plane than even the highest we have yet
gained. The author of “Leaves of Grass” sub-
stituted for what we commonly call friendship, —
the absorbing attachment for one elected spirit,
or at most for a very restricted circle, which is
based upon common tastes, interests, or affinities,
— comradeship, a profound affection of man for
man in virtue of his humanity, which recalls in
its keenness and valour, while it surpasses in its
universality, the hero-loves of the early Greeks.
The most significant and original part of all
his greatly misunderstood book—‘“the frailest
leaves of me, and yet my strongest lasting” —
is really this, “the institution of the dear love

of comrades.” ‘“ Democracy infers such loving
comradeship,” wrote Whitman in “ Democratic
Vistas,” “as its most inevitable twin or counter-

part, without which it will be incomplete, in vain,
and incapable of perpetuating itself.” And who
that knows anything of Whitman’s biography
need be reminded how splendidly the poet’s
creed was woven into the conduct of his life.
He is not, like Emerson, merely “the friend and
aider of those who would live in the spirit,” he
is rather, as both his life and writings show, the
friend and comrade of all mankind. Side by
side with him in this higher friendship (though
perhaps not so fully emancipated from prejudices
as Walt Whitman) stands Count Tolstoi, who
demonstrates the honesty of his love for even
the poorest and plainest of God’s creatures by
14

VY
INTRODUCTION ;

sharing their hardships, and engaging in their
toil. In this he is but carrying out the social
doctrines of Christianity’s founder, whose fa-
vourite title for himself was Son of Man, who
said to his followers, “I have called you friends,”
and whose enemies could conceive nothing worse
to accuse him of than the fact of his being a
“friend of publicans and sinners.”

It would, however, be unfair, since the world
at best is only half-Christianized, to demand from
the writers on friendship rigid consistency of
conduct. We have seen that some of them
represent in their own experience the highest
type of this noble sentiment, while others do
not. It may be that the lofty utterances of the
latter class were born of a great longing to real-
ize what their powerful intellects apprehended to
be worthy of attainment, but which some curious
lack in their natures forbade their reaching. The
most shallow of sophisms is that which would
exact of a great teacher that he practise what
he preach. The lasting sermons are written as
often out of the consciousness of partial or com-
plete failure as out of the fulness of success, Ac-
complishment and satisfied happiness are fre-
quently too busy for speech; it is the spur of
longing for the ideal end which sometimes stimu-
lates poet or philosopher to the utterance of his
deepest oracles.

The following pages aim to collect in concise
form as many as possible of the most noteworthy
sayings on the theme of friendship. If the little

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book strengthens even one human
aspiration after the ideal, if it on
happiness of a single heart, it wil rt
have failed to realize the hopes BS erishe

 
   
THE
VALUE OF FRIENDSHIP

You're my friend ——
What a thing friendship is, world without end!
Browning.
Oo 2S 2

True friendship is like sound health, the value
of it is seldom known until it be lost.
Cc. C. Colton.
o DGS @

The only way to have a friend, is to be one.
Emerson.

Co DG 2&2

A slender acquaintance with the world must
convince every man that actions, not words, are
the true criterion of the attachment of friends;
and that the most liberal professions of good-
will are very far from being the surest marks
of it.

George Washington.
17
THE VALUE OF

A real friend is one who will tell you of
your faults and follies in prosperity, and assist
you with his hand and heart in adversity.

Horace Smith.
oa @ oa

Be slow in choosing a friend, slower in
changing.
Benjamin Franklin.

oso GS 2

I remember one of the first and best men
whom I have ever known, after he had lost a
dear son by death. “Every one,” he said, “is so
careful for me. Every one is so eager to do
something to serve me. If I never knew what
the worth of love was before, I know it now.
For in the tender watchfulness of my friends,
I live on angels’ food.”

Edward Everett Hale.

Go BG &

A friend is a person with whom I may be
sincere. Before him, I may think aloud.

Emerson.
oa oa oa

When two friends part, they should lock up
each other’s secrets and exchange keys.

Ainon.

18
FRIENDSHIP .

There are two indispensable foundation quali-
ties in every true friendship — mutual agreeable-
ness and mutual confidence.

Katherine E. Conway.

Oo GS 2

As to the value of other things, most men
differ; concerning friendship all have the same
opinion. What can be more foolish than, when
men are possessed of great influence by their
wealth, power, and resources, to procure other
things which are bought by money — horses,
slaves, rich apparel, costly vases—and not to
procure friends, the most valuable and fairest
furniture of life?

Cicero.

Oo 2S 2

There is after all something in those trifles
that friends bestow upon each other which is
an unfailing indication of the place the giver
holds in the affections. I would believe that one
who preserved a lock of my hair, a simple flower,
or any trifle of my bestowing, loved me, though
no show was made of it; while all the protesta-
tions in the world would not win my confidence
in one who set no value on such little things.

Trifles they may be; but it is by such that
character and disposition are oftenest revealed.

Washington Irving.
19
THE VALUE OF

Whatever the difficulties in the way of a wider
reach of friendships, it does not seem reasonable
that we should be so shut up to the small geo-
graphical limitations of our village or city, or
“set.” Why might not people seek out friends
for their friends? There would be nothing
odious about that sort of match-making. I
know and love a man in California, for example,

”

who is just suited to a man I know and love in
Berlin. Why do I not bring them together?
Edward Rowland Sill.
o2 2 2

It is only the great-hearted who can be true
friends; the mean and cowardly can never know
what true friendship means.

Charles Kingsley.
o 2 2

It is happiness to have some one “glad you
are alive.” No wonder that poor girls take their
lives when they come to feel that not one face
lights up because they are in the world, or would
be shadowed if they left it. We who have the
friends know how much of all earth’s worth to
us lies in certain eyes and faces, certain voices,
certain hands. Fifty persons, or perhaps but
five, make the wide world populous for us, and
living in it beautiful.

W. C. Gannett.
20
FRIENDSHIP

There is no man that imparteth his joys to
his friend, but he joyeth the more; and no man
that imparteth his griefs to his friend, but he
grieveth the less.

Lord Bacon.
Oo Dp 2

Friendship is one of the largest factors of
success not only in the social but also in the
commercial and political worlds. Many a mer-
chant is carried through a crisis by his friends
when the strict laws of business would have
dropped him into ruin. It was Lincoln’s im-
measurable capacity for friendship that made his
splendid career possible.

T. T. Munger.

Go 2 &

It is now some years since the friends of a
man who had worshipped here, and whom every-
body loved who knew him, came to me as one
of his friends, and asked me to suggest a line
of inscription for his monument at Mt. Auburn.
I wrote several such inscriptions, — quoting from
one author and another words which seemed
appropriate. But the unanimous decision of all
of us who knew him, was that this line should
be carved upon the stone: “This man had the
art of making friends.”

Edward Everett Hale.
21
THE VALUE OF

We never know the true value of friends.
While they live, we are too sensitive of their
faults; when we have lost them, we only see
their virtues.

J.C. and A. W. Hare.
os 2 2

Friendship is love for another because of
what that other is in himself, or for that other’s
own sake, and not because of what that other
is to the loving one. Friendship is love with the
selfish element eliminated. ... Friendship, in
short, is love apart from love’s claim or love’s
craving.

H. Clay Trumbull.
sos 2 2

A true friend unbosoms freely, advises justly,
assists readily, adventures boldly, takes all pa-
tiently, defends courageously, and continues a
friend unchangeably.... In short, choose a
friend as thou dost a wife, till death separate
you. ... Death cannot kill what never dies. Nor
can spirits ever be divided that love and live
in the same Divine Principle; the Root and
Record of their friendship. .. . This is the com-
fort of friends, that though they may be said
to die, yet their friendship and society are, in the
best sense, ever present, because immortal.

William Penn.
22
FRIENDSHIP

We can live without a brother, but not with-
out a friend.

German Proverb.
& @ a

I hear it was charged against me that I sought
to destroy institutions.

But really I am neither for nor against institu-
tions,

(What indeed have I in common with them? or
what with the destruction of them?)

Only I will establish in the Mannahatta and in
every city of these States inland and sea-
board,

And in the fields and woods, and above every
keel little or large that dents the water,
Without edifices or rules or trustees or any argu-

ment,

The institution of the dear love of comrades.

Walt Whitman.
oo 2

There are plenty of acquaintances in the
world, but very few real friends.
From the Chinese.

oOo o&aS &

Love is flower- like;
Friendship is like a sheltering tree.

S. T. Coleridge.
23
THE VALUE OF

There is in friendship something of all rela-
tions and something above them all. It is the
golden thread that ties the hearts of all the
world.

Evelyn.
Oo DG @o&

To make a new friend is like learning a new
language. I myself have a friend who says
that we have, each one of us, a chosen audience
of our own to whom we turn instinctively, and
before whom we rehearse that which is in our
minds; whose opinion influences us, whose ap-
proval is our secret aim.

finne Thackeray Ritchie.
o Oo 2

Most men make friends easily enough; few
keep them. They do not give the subject the
care, and thought, and trouble it requires and
deserves. We want the pleasure of society with-
out the duty. We would like to get the good
of our friends, without burdening ourselves with
any responsibility about keeping them friends.

Hugh Black.
oo 2

The man who prefers his dearest friend to
the call of duty will soon show that he pre-
fers himself to his dearest friend.

Frederick W. Robertson.
24
FRIENDSHIP

A true friend embraces our objects as his
own. We feel another mind bent on the same
end, enjoying it, ensuring it, reflecting it, and
delighting in our devotion to it.

William Ellery Channing.
Qo oa Qo

It is one proof of a man’s fitness for friendship
that he is able to do without that which is cheap
and passionate. A true friendship is as wise as it
is tender.

Thoreau.

How wondrous is a friend, the gift of neither
Heaven nor earth, yet coveted of both! If the
“archangels veil their faces,” is not the sacred
diffidence on this sweet behalf?

Emily Dickinson.

o DS &

When the first time of love is over, there
comes a something better still. Then comes that
other love; that faithful friendship which never
changes, and which will accompany you with
its calm light through the whole of life. It is
only needful to place yourself so that it may
come, and then it comes of itself. And then
everything turns and changes itself to the best.

Fredrika Bremer.

25
THE VALUE OF

Strange as it may sound, we are sometimes
rather disposed to choose our friends from the
unworthy than the worthy; for though it is
difficult to love those whom we do not esteem,
it is a greater difficulty to love those whom we
esteem much more than ourselves. A perfect
friendship requires equality, even in virtue.

Horace Smith.
o oD 2

Who would make friends must be friendly.
Who would keep friends must never assume that
their friendship is something due to him, but,
feeling that he can hardly deserve so great a
comfort, and fearing to lose it by offence or
neglect, must safeguard and cultivate it by at
least as much effort as he made in the first in-
stance to win it.

Katherine E. Conway.
ooo

If I had reaped no other benefit from Christ
Hospital, the school would be ever dear to me
from the recollection of the friendships I formed
in it, and of the first heavenly taste it gave me
of that most spiritual of the affections... . If
ever I tasted a disembodied transport on earth,
it was in those friendships which I entertained
at school, before I dreamt of any maturer feel-
ing.

Leigh Hunt.
26
FRIENDSHIP

Recorders ages hence,

Come, I will take you down underneath this
impassive exterior, I will tell you what to
say of me,

Publish my name and hang up my picture as
that of the tenderest lover,

The friend the lover’s portrait, of whom his
friend his lover was fondest,

Who was not proud of his songs, but of the
measureless ccean of love within him, and
freely pour’d it forth,

Who often walk’d lonesome walks thinking of
his dear friends, his lovers,

Who pensive away from one he lov’d often lay
sleepless and dissatisfied at night,

Who knew too well the sick, sick dread lest the
one he lov’d might secretly be indifferent
to him,

Whose happiest days were far away through
fields, in woods, on hills, he and another wan-
dering hand in hand, they twain apart from
other men,

Who oft as he saunter’d the streets curv’d with
his arm the shoulder of his friend, while the
arm of his friend rested upon him also.

Walt Whitman.
oa oa a

Friendship, like the immortality of the soul,

is too good to be believed.

Emerson.

27
THE VALUE OF

I awoke this morning with devout thanks-
giving for my friends, the old and the new. Shall
I not call God, the Beautiful, who daily showeth
himself so to me in his gifts? I chide society,
I embrace solitude, and yet I am not so un-
grateful as not to see the wise, the lovely, and
the noble-minded, as from time to time they
pass my gate. Who hears me, who understands
me, becomes mine —a possession for all time.

Emerson.
ao oa oa

The happiness of sympathetic human inter-
course seems to me incomparably greater than
any other pleasure. I may be supposed to have
passed the age of enthusiastic illusions, yet I
would at any time rather pass a week with a
real friend in any place that afforded simple
shelter than with an indifferent person in a
palace.

Philip Gilbert Hamerton,.
Oo 2G 2

If trust is the first requisite for making a
friend, faithfulness is the first requisite for keep-
ing him.

Hugh Black.
o 2 @2

If you would keep your friend, approach him
with a telescope, never with the microscope.

finon.

28
FRIENDSHIP

Once in an age, God sends to some of us
a friend who loves in us, not a false-imagining,
an unreal character, but, looking through the
rubbish of our imperfections, loves in us the
divine ideal of our nature,— loves, not the man
that we are, but the angel that we may be. Such
friends seem inspired by the divine gift of proph-
ecy —like the mother of St. Augustine, who,
in the midst of the wayward, reckless youth
of her son, beheld him in a vision standing
clothed in white, a ministering priest at the
right hand of God, as he has stood for long
ages since.

H. B. Stowe.
ao oa 2

Friendship is at most but half “made,” —
the other half is born. What we can chiefly
“choose” and “make” is, not the friend, but
opportunity for contact. When the contact
happens, something higher than our will chooses
for us. Fore-ordination then comes in. “ Matches
are made in heaven,” and before the foundation
of the world our friendships are arranged.

W. C. Gannett.

oo oa &

After God, there is nothing, O my friend!
SO sweet as a friend.

Eugenie de Guerin.
THE VALUE OF

Friends, though absent, are still present.

Cicero.
oa Qo Qa

We hear of people’s seeking by public ad-
vertisement for a suitable partner in marriage,
but who ever heard of any one’s advertising for
a friend? Yet why not? Every one, it is likely,
has in mind some more or less vague ideal of
the absolutely perfect comrade. May he not be
supposed to exist somewhere, and to be in the
habit of reading a daily newspaper or a monthly
magazine? Go to! Let us seek him, then, by
appropriate advertisement. Something in this
wise would it run?

“WANTED, A FRIEND! ... The applicant
must be rather old, in order to be fitted to give
advice —a limited amount of it— wisely; and at
the same time rather young, in order to receive
it in liberal quantity and in a meek frame of mind.
He must be of medium height, intellectually, and
in the enjoyment of robust spiritual health. A
written guarantee must be given of freedom from
all contagious defects of character!”

Edward Rowland Sill.
oa a Qa

You shall perceive how you
Mistake my fortunes; I am wealthy in my
friends.

Shakespeare.

30

yi
FRIENDSHIP

To be only an admirer is not to be a friend
of a human being. Human nature wants some-
thing more, and our perceptions are diseased
when we dress up a human being in the attributes
of divinity. He is our friend who loves more
than admires us, and would aid us in our great
work.

William Ellery Channing.
2a a ao

To bury a friendship is a keener grief than
to bury a friend.

Hugh Black
Oo DP 2

Man is not equal to life. There is more to
do than one can do alone, and an unfriended
life will be poor and meagre. It is an old say-
ing that “a friend is another himself.” If, as a
mere matter of strength and resource, I were to
face life with the choice of either a fortune or
friends, I would be wiser to choose the latter
as more helpful.

T.T. Munger.
2 2 2

Friendship heightens all our affections. We
receive all the ardour of our friend in addition
to our own. The communication of minds gives
to each the fervour of each.

William Ellery Channing.
3L
THE VALUE OF

The friendships of men are vastly agreeable,
but they are insecure. You know all the time
that one friend will marry and put you to the
door; a second accept a situation in China, and
become no more to you than a name, a remi-
niscence, and an occasional crossed letter, very
laborious to read; a third will take up with
some religious crotchet and treat you to sour
looks thenceforward. So, in one way or another,
life forces men apart and breaks up the goodly
fellowships for ever. The very flexibility and
ease which make men’s friendships so agreeable
while they endure, make them the easier to des-
troy and forget.

Stevenson,
oo 2

It is essential to friendship that there be no
labour to pass for more than we are, no effort,
no anxiety to hide! If anything be concealed,
the constant intercourse of friends will discover
it, and one discovery will produce others. The
idea that the heart has one secret fold extin-
guishes affection.

William Ellery Channing.

Oo D2 2

True friendship between man and man is in-
finite and immortal.

Plato.
32
FRIENDSHIP

I sometimes hear my friends complain finely
that I do not appreciate their fineness. I shall
not tell them whether I do or not. As if they
expected a vote of thanks for every fine thing
which they uttered or did! Who knows but it
was finely appreciated? It may be that your
silence was the finer thing of the two.... In
human intercourse the tragedy begins, not when
there is misunderstanding about words, but when
silence is not understood. Then there can never
be an explanation.

:

Thoreau.
oa oa oa

Friendship is Love, without either flowers
or veil.
J.C. and A. W. Hare.
Oo 2 2

A friend

Welded into our life is more to us

Than twice five thousand kinsmen, one in blood.
; Euripides.

oo 2a

So long as we love we serve; so long as we
are loved by others I would almost say that we
are indispensable; and no man is useless while
he has a friend.

Robert Louis Stevenson.

35
THE VALUE OF

Why should we desecrate noble and beauti-
ful souls by intruding on them? Why insist
on rash personal relations with your friend?
Why go to his house, or know his mother and
brother and sisters? Why be visited by him at
your own? Are these things material to our
covenant? Leave this touching and clawing.
Let him be to me a spirit. A message, a
thought, a sincerity, a glance from him I want,
but not news, nor pottage. I can get politics,
and chat, and neighbourly conveniences from
cheaper companions. Should not the society of
my friend be to me poetic, pure, universal, and
great as nature itself?

Emerson.

o 2S &

I must feel pride in my friend’s accomplish-
ments as if they were mine—wild, delicate,
throbbing property in his virtues. I feel as
warmly when he is praised as the lover when
he hears applause of his engaged maiden.

Emerson.

oOo 2G &

Worldly friendship is profuse in honeyed
words, passionate endearments, commendations
of beauty, while true friendship speaks a simple,
honest language.

Francis de Sales.

34
FRIENDSHIP

Friendship is the only point in human affairs
concerning the benefit of which all, with one
voice, agree.

Cicero.
oOo 2 2

He who has many friends has no friend.

Aristotle.
Oo oS

I confidently expect a time when there will
be seen, running like a half-hid warp through
all the myriad audible and visible worldly in-
terests of America, threads of manly friendship,
fond and loving, pure and sweet, strong and
lifelong, carried to degrees hitherto unknown —
not only giving tone to individual character,
and making it unprecedently emotional, muscular,
heroic, and refined, but having deepest relations
to general politics. I say Democracy infers such
loving comradeship, as its most inevitable twin
or counterpart, without which it will be incom-
plete, in vain, and incapable of perpetuating it-
self.

Walt Whitman.
o 2 2

Lying on lower levels is but a trivial offence
compared with civility and compliments on the
level of friendship.

Thoreau.

35
THE VALUE OF

If thou wouldst get a friend, prove him first,
and be not hasty to credit him. For some man
is a friend for his own occasion, and will not
abide in the day of trouble.

Ecclesiasticus.
o@ BG &

If men share false and vain things, their
friendship will be false and vain; if that which
is good and true, their friendship will be good
and true.

Francis de Sales.
Go Go &

One ought never to speak of the faults of
one’s friends; it mutilates them; they can never
be the same afterwards. ‘

W. D. Howells.
oa 2 o

Friendship closes its eyes rather than see
the moon eclipsed; while malice denies that it
is ever at the full.

J.C. and A. W? Hare.
Oo Dp 2

Sudden friendships generally come to sudden
ends. True friendship is a plant of gradual
growth, which needs for its perfection sun and
air, watering and weeding.

Katherine E. Conway.
FRIENDSHIP

Love is the greatest of human affections, and
friendship the noblest and most refined improve-
ment of love.

Robert South.
oa 2G @

To bring about this sane friendship between
people who love each other, respect for each
other’s individuality is of course necessary; but
such respect is, after all, an abstract thing, and
cannot be cultivated in a moment. While wait-
ing for it to struggle through. our stony egotism,
there is one thing we can do: we can vow that
unless duty seriously and lovingly demands it,
there should be no unasked criticism between
people who love each other!

Think how it would make for peace if domestic
criticism were forbidden at every breakfast-table.
Think of our own happiness if our brothers and
sisters will stop telling us unpleasant truths! —
think of their happiness if we could refrain from
enlightening them as to their dress, or manners,
or beliefs.

Margaret Deland.
o 2 2

Friendship is never established as an under-
stood relation. Do you demand that I be less
your friend that you may know it?

Thoreau.

37
THE VALUE OF

In trying to preserve a friendship, there is one
thing over which we must have a care, and that
is, our letters to a friend. The mistakes and
misunderstandings of personal intercourse can be
corrected when the play of expression upon the
features often speaks more accurately than
words, but thoughts put in black and white may
often fail to convey the idea intended, and even
affection and sympathy may at times appear
colourless through this medium, so it is wise for
us to put all of the glow possible into our mes-
sages to one whom we love.

Mary R. Baidwin.
oa & ao

Choose for your friend him that is wise and
good, and secret and just, ingenious and honest,
and in those things which have a latitude, use
your own liberty.

Jeremy Taylor.
@o@ @o@ Qo

In all holiest and most unselfish love, friend-
ship is the purest element of the affection. No
love in any relation of life can be at its best if
the element of friendship be lacking. And no
love can transcend, in its possibilities of noble
and ennobling exaltation, a love that is pure
friendship,

H. Clay Trumbull.
38

 
FRIENDSHIP :

A reverse of fortune is a mighty sifter of
friendship. So is distance. Go a little way out
of town, and see how many people will take the
trouble to come to see you. Well, we must be
patient and forbearing. It is a question of in-
tensity of need. Friendly relations depend upon
vicinity amongst other things, and there are
degrees; but the best kind of friendship has a
way of bridging time and space for all that.

H.R. Haweis.
o 2D 2

Of course no true friend, no honourable per-
son, allows herself to repeat, and hardly indeed
to remember, the indiscreet revelations, the
bursts of petulance and anger, the unfavourable
comments on the absent or the out-of-hearing,
which are poured into her ears in domestic, busi-
ness, or social life day by day. She is a non-
conductor between business associates and
ordinary acquaintances, as well as between the
estranged husband and wife.

Katherine E. Conway.
o o®2 2

Friendship hath the skill and observation of
the best physician; the diligence and vigilance
of the best nurse; and the tenderness and
patience of the best mother.

Lord Clarendon.

39
THE VALUE OF

Beyond all wealth, honour, or even health, is
the attachment we form to noble souls; because
to become one with the good, generous, and
true is to become in a measure good, generous,
and true ourselves.

Dr. Thomas Arnold.
oP BG &

Old books, old wine, old nankin blue,
All things, in short, to which belong
The charm, the grace that Time makes

strong —

All these I prize, but (entre nous)

Old friends are best.

Austin Dobson.
GP aD

Something like home that is not home is to
be desired; it is found in the house of a friend.

Sir W. Temple.
2 2 oo

My friends are my estate. Forgive me then
the avarice to hoard them! They tell me those
who were poor early have different views of
gold. I don’t know how that is. God is not so
wary as we, else He would give us no friends,
lest we forget Him! The charms of the heaven
in the bush are superseded, I fear, by the heaven
in the hand occasionally.

Emily Dickinson.

40
FRIENDSHIP

The only rose without thorns is friendship.
Mlle. de Scuderi.
o oS @

Oh! my beloved Socrates, let me entreat you
once more to take my advice and escape. For
if you die I shall not only lose a friend who can
never be replaced, but there is another evil;
people who do not know you and me will be-
lieve that I might have saved you if I had been
willing to give money, but that I did not care.
Now, can there be a worse disgrace than this —
that I should be thought to value money more
than the life of a friend? For the many will not
be persuaded that I wanted you to escape, and
that you refused.

Plato.
o 2g 2

As friendship must be founded on mutual es-
teem, it cannot long exist among the vicious.
Horace Smith.
oo 2

Friendship is steady and peaceful; not much
jealousy, and no heartburnings. It strengthens
with time, and survives the smallpox and a
wooden leg. It doubles our joys, divides our
griefs, and warms our lives with a steady flame.

Charles Reade.
41
THE VALUE OF

In the hour of distress and misery the eye
of every mortal turns to friendship; in the hour
of gladness and conviviality, what is our want?
It is friendship. When the heart overflows with
gratitude, or with any other sweet and sacred
sentiment, what is the word to which it would
give utterance? A friend.

Walter S. Landor.

oOo oS &

We lose friends by disuse. The wise man says,
“He that hath friends must show himself
friendly;” and Doctor Johnson used to say,
“Keep your friendships in repair.” If you would
keep your friend, don’t lose sight of him too
long. Write when you can, remind him of your-
self, and you shall not lose the thread of his
life.

H.R. Haweis.

Oo DF 2

Favours, and especially pecuniary ones, are
generally fatal to friendship; for our pride will
ever prompt us to lower the value of the gift
by diminishing that of the donor. Ingratitude
is an effort to recover our own esteem by getting
rid of our esteem for our benefactor, whom we
look upon as a sort of tooth-drawer, that has
cured us of one pain by inflicting another.

Horace Smith.
42
FRIENDSHIP :

No friendship is so cordial or so delicious
as that of girl for girl; no hatred so intense and
immovable as that of woman for woman.

Walter Savage Landor.

oa Oo 2

We follow Jesus in and out of homes; chil-
dren cluster about his feet; women love him;
a dozen men leave net and plough to bind to his
their fortunes, and others go forth by twos, not
ones, to imitate him. “Friend of publicans and
sinners” was his title with those who loved
him not. Across the centuries we like and
trust him all the more because he was a man
of many friends.

William C. Gannett.

oo @

The language of friendship is not words, but
meanings. It is an intelligence above language.
Thoreau.
oo oe

False friendship turns to evil desires, up-
braidings, slander, deceit, sorrow, confusion and
jealousies; but pure friendship is always the
same, modest, courteous and loving, knowing
no change save an increasingly pure and per-
fect union.

Francis de Sales.

43
THE VALUE OF

The friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,
Grapple them to thy soul with hooks of steel.

Shakespeare.
Co BG &

There seemed for Gleim, the German poet, to
be no extinction in friendship when the friend
was no more; and he had invented a singular
mode of gratifying his feelings of literary friend-
ship. The visitor found the old man in a room
of which the wainscot was panelled, as we still
see among us in ancient houses. In every panel
Gleim had inserted the portrait of a friend, and
the apartment was crowded. “ You see,” said the
gray-haired poet, “that I have never lost a
friend, and am sitting always among them.”

Isaac Disraeli.

Oo 2S 2

Some friendships are made by nature, some
by contract, some by interest, and some by
souls.

Jeremy Taylor.
Oo 2 2

Friendship by its very nature consists in lov-
ing, rather than in being loved. In other words,
friendship consists in being a friend, not in hav-
ing a friend.

H. Clay Trumbull.
44
FRIENDSHIP

True friendship is a plant of slow growth,
and must undergo and withstand the shocks of
adversity, before it is entitled to the appellation.

George Washington.
oo 2 2

He has the substance of all bliss
To whom a virtuous friend is given:
So sweet harmonious friendship is,
Add but eternity, you’ll make it heaven.
John Norris.
o 2G 2

A true friend will appear such in leaving us
to act according to our intimate conviction, —
will cherish this nobleness of sentiment, will
never wish to substitute his power for our own.

William Ellery Channing.

Oo GS o&

The father keeps the boy his son by making
him, when young, his friend. As the years run
by, the sister keeps the brother, the brother keeps
the sister, in love, less by the blood-tie than by
the words and works and trusts of friendship.
And in the marriage itself the early love must
ripen into close, abiding, inmost friendship.
The happiest marriages take place gradually, and
go on deepening all through the life together.

W. C. Gannett.
45
THE VALUE OF

The tide of friendship does not rise high on
the banks of perfection. Amiable weaknesses
and shortcomings are the food of love. It is
from the roughnesses and imperfect breaks in a
man that you are able to lay hold of him. My
friend is not perfect,—no more am I,—and so
we suit each other admirably.

Alexander Smith.
oa 2 @

My friend is that one whom I can associate
with my choicest thought.
Thoreau.

Go BLP DB

For quick depth of sympathy, intuitive divina-
tion, joyous sacrifice, perfect reproduction of
all the modulations of feeling, there is no friend-
ship equal to that of a woman.

William R. Alger.
Oo 2 2

I mentioned my expectations from the interest
of an eminent person then in power; adding, “but
I have no claim but the claim of friendship; how-
ever, some people will go a great way for that
motive.”

Johnson. “Sir, they will go all the way for
that motive.”

Boswell.
46
FRIENDSHIP

If we choose our friends for what they are,
not for what they have, and if we deserve so
great a blessing; then they will be always with
us, preserved in absence, and even after death,
in the “amber of memory.”

:

Sir John Lubbock,
oOo oOo oOo

I would not live without the love of my friends.

John Keats.
Go BG &

There are three friendships which are advan-
tageous, and three which are injurious. Friend-
ship with the upright; friendship with the sin-
cere; and friendship with the man of observation:
these are advantageous. Friendship with the man
of specious airs; friendship with the insinuat-
ingly soft; and friendship with the glib-tongued:
these are injurious.

Confucius.
o D2 2

I know I love my friends —I feel it far in here
where neither blue nor black eye goes, and fingers
cannot reach. I know ’tis love for them that
sets the blister in my throat, many a time a day,
when winds go sweeter than their wont, or a
different cloud puts my brain from home.

Emily Dickinson.
47
THE VALUE OF

The savage man Friday, in the great story, be-
comes a man,—he is a different creature, after
he wins the friendship of Robinson Crusoe.

Edward Everett Hale.
oo 2

Sincerity, truth, faithfulness, come into the very
essence of friendship.
William Ellery Channing.
o 2 2

Be admonished not to strike leagues of friend-
ship with cheap persons, where no friendship
can be.

Emerson.
o 2 2

Our friendships hurry to short and poor con-
clusions, because we have made them a texture
of wine and dreams, instead of the tough fibre
of the human heart. The laws of friendship are
great, austere, and eternal, of one web with the
laws of nature and of morals. But we have aimed
at a swift and petty benefit, to suck a sudden
sweetness. We snatch at the slowest fruit in
the whole garden of God, which many summers
and many winters must ripen. We seek our
friend not sacredly but with an adulterate passion
which would appropriate him to ourselves.

Emerson.

48
FRIENDSHIP

It is a good thing to be rich, and a good thing
to be strong, but it is a better thing to be beloved
of many friends.

Euripides.
ao oOo o2

Be true to thy friend. Never speak of his
faults to another, to show thy own discrimina-
tion; but open them all to him, with candour
and true gentleness. Forgive all his errors and
his sins, be they ever so many; but do not ex-
cuse the slightest deviation from rectitude. Never
forbear to dissent from a false opinion, or a wrong
practice, from mistaken motives of kindness; nor
seek thus to have thy own weaknesses sustained;
for these things cannot be done without injury
to the soul.

Lydia Maria Child.
Oo D2 2

Friendship is usually treated by the majority
of mankind as a tough and everlasting thing
which will survive all manner of bad treatment.
But this is an exceedingly great and foolish
error; it may die in an hour of a single unwise
word.

Ouida.
Oo 2@ &

Have no friends not equal to yourself.

Confucius.

49
THE VALUE OF

Friends should not be chosen to flatter. The
quality we should prize is that rectitude which
will shrink from no truth. Intimacies, which
increase vanity, destroy friendship.

William Ellery Channing.
o DG &

A beloved friend does not fill one part of the
soul, but, penetrating the whole, becomes con-
nected with all feeling.

William Ellery Channing.
o Do 2

Impatient and uncertain lovers think that they
must say or do something kind whenever they
meet; they must never be cold. But they who
are friends do not do what they think they must,
but what they must. Even their friendship is, in
one sense, a sublime phenomenon to them.

Thoreau.
oOo D2 e2

Pure friendship is something which men of an
inferior nature can never taste.

La Bruyére.
a2 oa oa

It is one of the wretchednesses of the great
that they have no approved friends. Kings are
the most solitary beings on earth.

William Ellery Channing.
50

oe
FRIENDSHIP

Mere earthly friendships are not wont to last,
their origin being so frail that the slightest con-
tradiction chills and blights them; a change
which cannot come over those friendships which
are built up in God, and are consequently solid
and enduring.

Francis de Sales.

Oo DF &

I love my friend before myself, and yet me-
thinks I do not love him enough; some few
months hence my multiplied affection will make
me believe I have not loved him at all. When
I am from him, I am dead till I be with him;
when I am with him, I am not satisfied, but
would still be nearer him.

Sir Thomas Browne.
o 2 @

The good man has the same relation to his
friend as he has to himself.
Aristotle.
oo @&

The friendship which arises from contraries
is horrible and coarse, and has often no tie of
communion; but that which arises from like-
ness is gentle, and has a tie of communion, which
lasts through life.

Plato.
ve
THE VALUE OF

Make friends early in life, else you will never
have them. ... It is only in the first third of
our threescore and ten that lifelong friends are
made. Agreeable associations may be formed
later, and now and then a friendship when there
is great congeniality and freshness of spirit; but
friendship is a union and a mingling, a shaping
of plastic substances to each other that cannot
be effected after the mould of life has hardened.
We may touch hereafter, but not mingle.

T. T. Munger.
GoGo BG &

That friendship where men’s affections are
cemented by an equal love of goodness, neither
hope, nor fear, nor any private interest can ever
dissolve it, but we carry it with us to our graves,
and lay down our lives for it with satisfaction.

Seneca.
oa oa oa

Because friendship is that by which the world
is most blessed and receives most good, it ought
to be chosen amongst the worthiest persons;
that is, amongst those that can do greatest
benefit to each other.

Jeremy Taylor.
Oo BP 2

To friendship every burden’s light.

Gay.
52
FRIENDSHIP

Our English word “friend,” in its Anglo-
Saxon form, is freond,—“one who loves.”
Etymologically the words “friend” and “lover”
are synonymous, as are the words “love” and
“ friendship.”

H.C. Trumbull,
oa ao oa

There are cases where men are so self-ab-
sorbed, so self-centred, that they take the friend-
ship of others, their kindly thoughts and friendly
deeds, without return. They classify themselves
among the ungrateful men. Well! was this a
matter of bargain? Did you give so much love,
that so much more might be paid back to you?
No, indeed! It was into the common stock that
you paid. It was not this man, one little partner,
who was to repay you. It was the good God’s
work you were carrying forward, not merely
A’s life, or B’s. Be sure, then, that you have
not failed.

Edward Everett Hale.
oa oa oa

I cannot contentedly frame a prayer for myself
in particular, without a catalogue for my friends;
nor request a happiness, wherein my sociable
disposition doth not desire the fellowship of my
neighbour.

Sir Thomas Browne.

53
THE VALUE OF

Convey thy love to thy friend, as an arrow to
the mark, to stick there; not as a ball against
the wall to rebound back to thee.

Francis Quarles.
oo Go 2

A friend is he who sets his heart upon us, is
happy in us, and delights in us,—does for us
what we want, is willing and fully engaged to
do all he can for us, on whom we can rely in all
cases.

William Ellery Channing.
o oD 2

Fate, which has ordained that there shall be
no friendship among the evil, has also ordained
that there shall,ever be friendship among the
good.

Plato.
oa 2® fo

How were friendship possible? In mutual de-
votedness to the Good and True: otherwise
impossible, except as armed neutrality or hollow
commercial league. A man, be the heavens ever
praised, is sufficient for himself; yet were ten
men, united in love, capable of being and of do-
ing what ten thousand singly would fail in.
Infinite is the help man can yield to man.

Thomas Carlyle.

54
FRIENDSHIP :

What room can there be for friendship, or who
can be a friend to any one whom he does not
love for his own sake?. And what is loving, from
which verb (amo) the very name of friendship
(amicitia) is derived, but wishing a certain per-
son to enjoy the greatest possible good fortune,
even if none of it accrues to one’s self?

Cicero.
2 oa a2

In the choice of a dog or of a horse, we exer-
cise the greatest care: we inquire into its pedi-
gree, its training and character, and yet we too
often leave the selection of our friends, which
is of infinitely greater importance,—by whom
our whole life will be more or less influenced
either for good or evil, —almost to chance.

Sir John Lubbock.
oS oS oOo

We want one or two companions of intelli-
gence, probity, and grace, to wear out life with;
persons by whom we can measure ourselves, and
who shall hold us fast to good sense and virtue.

Emerson.
Qo oa oa

Friendship that flows from the heart cannot
be frozen by adversity, as the water that flows
from the spring cannot congeal in winter.

J. Fenimore Cooper.

55
THE VALUE OF

The books for young people say a great deal
about the selection of friends; it is because they
really have nothing to say about friends. They
mean associates and confidants merely... .
Friendship takes place between those who have
an affinity for one another, and is a perfectly
natural and inevitable result. No professions nor
advances will avail.

Thoreau.
oo 2@ &

There is nothing so important as the choice
of friendship; for it both reflects character and
affects it. A man is known by the company he
keeps. This is an infallible test, for his thoughts,
and desires, and ambitions, and loves, are re-
vealed here. He gravitates naturally to his con-
genial sphere. And it affects character, for it
is the atmosphere he breathes. It enters his
blood, and makes the circuit of his veins. “ All
love assimilates to what it loves.’ A man is
moulded into likeness of the lives that come
nearest him.

Hugh Black.
Oo DS? 2

A good man is the best friend, and therefore
soonest to be chosen, longer to be retained; and
indeed never to be parted with, unless he cease
to be that for which he was chosen.

Jeremy Taylor.

56

=a
FRIENDSHIP

They seem to take away the sun from the
world who withdraw friendship from life; for
we have received nothing better from the immor-
tal gods, nothing more delightful.

Cicero.
Oo 2D &

The finest feature of Rudyard Kipling’s work,
and it is a constant feature of it, is the comrade-
ship between commonplace soldiers of no high
moral or spiritual attainment, and yet it is the
strongest force in their lives, and on occasion
makes heroes of them. We feel that their faith-
fulness to each other is almost the only point
at which their souls are reached. The threefold
cord of his soldiers, vulgar in mind and common
in thought as they are, is a cord which we feel
is not easily broken, and it is their friendship
and loyalty to each other which save them from
utter vulgarity. In Walt Whitman there is the
same insight into the force of friendship in or-
dinary life, with added wonder at the miracle
of it. He is the poet of comrades, and sings the
song of companionship more than any other
theme.

Hugh Black.
o D2 @

A faithful friend is the medicine of life.

Ecclesiasticus.

57
THE VALUE OF

Between two by nature alike and fitted to
sympathize, there is no veil, and there can be
no obstacle. Who are the estranged? Two
friends explaining.

Thoreau.
o 2 2

I have no faith in the miserable notions that
the poor are friendless because they are poor,
and that friends desert on the approach of pov-
erty. Poverty may winnow the false from the
true, but it does not destroy the wheat.... Let
one offer to the world a large, generous, true,
sympathetic nature, and, rich or poor, he will
have friends, and he will never be friendless
whatever catastrophes befall him.

T. T. Munger.
Oo OD 2

A fashionable friend is one who will dine with
you, game with you, walk or ride out with you,
borrow money of you, escort your wife to public
places —if she be handsome, stand by and see
you fairly shot, if you happen to be engaged in
a duel, and slink away and see you fairly clapped
in a prison, if you experience a reverse of for-
tune. Such a man is like the shadow of the sun-
dial, which appears in fine weather, and vanishes
when there comes a rainy day.

Horace Smith.

58
FRIENDSHIP *

Cultivate the friendly spirit. If one would have
friends he must be worthy of them, The bright
plumage and the songs of birds are designed to
win their mates. It is in vain for one to say, I
want friends; I will go seek them. Go within
rather, and establish yourself in friendly sympa-
thy with your fellow men; learn to love; get
the helpful spirit, and above all the responsive
temper, and friends will come to you as birds
fly to their beautiful singing mates.

T. T. Munger.
Oo oD Qo

Friendship is infinitely better than kindness.

Cicero.
oa oa oa

Friend is a word of royal tone;
Friend is a poem all alone.
From the Persian.
oo 2

Friendship, one soul in two bodies.

Pythagoras.
oa oa oa

Is there anything in the world to be reputed
(I will not say compared) to friendship? Can
any treasure in this transitory pilgrimage be of
more value than a friend?

Lyly.
59
THE VALUE OF
A LOST FRIEND

My friend he was; my friend from all the rest;
With childlike faith he oped to me his breast.
No door was locked on altar, grave, or grief;
No weakness veiled, concealed no disbelief;

The hope, the sorrow, and the wrong were bare,
And ah, the shadow only showed the fair.

I gave him love for love; but, deep within,

I magnified each frailty into sin;

Each hill-topped foible in the sunset glowed,
Obscuring vales where rivered virtues flowed.
Reproof became reproach, till common grew
The captious word at every fault I knew.

He smiled upon the censorship, and bore

With patient love the touch that wounded sore;
Until at length, so had my blindness grown,

He knew I judged him by his faults alone.

Alone, of all men, I, who knew him best,
Refused the gold, to take the dross for test!
Cold strangers honoured for the worth they saw;
His friend forgot the diamond in the flaw.
At last it came — the day he stood apart,
When from my eyes he proudly veiled his heart;
When carping judgment and uncertain word
A stern resentment in his bosom stirred;
When in his face I read what I had been
And with his vision saw what he had seen.

60
FRIENDSHIP

Too late! Too late! Oh, coma he then have
known,

When his love died, that mine had perfect grown;'

That when the veil was drawn, abased, chastised,

The censor stood, the lost one truly prized.

Too late we learn —a man must hold his friend
Unjudged, accepted, trusted to the end.
John Boyle O’ Reilly.
oo 2

It is a mere and miserable solitude to want
true friends, without which the world is but a
wilderness; and even in this scene also of soli-
tude, whosoever in the frame of his nature and
affections is unfit for friendship, he taketh it
of the beast, and not from humanity. A prin-
cipal fruit of friendship is the ease and discharge
of the fulness of the heart, which passions of
all kinds do cause and induce. We know dis-
eases of stoppings and suffocations are the most
dangerous in the body; and it is not much other-
wise in the mind: you may take sarza to open
the liver, steel to open the spleen, flower of
sulphur for the lungs, castoreum for the brain;
but no recipe openeth the heart but a true friend
to whom you may impart griefs, joys, fears,
hopes, suspicions, counsels, and whatsoever lieth
upon the heart to oppress it,

Bacon.

61
THE VALUE OF

We just shake hands at meeting
With many that come nigh;
We nod the head in greeting
To many that go by,—
But welcome through the gateway
Our few old friends and true;
Then hearts leap up, and straightway
There’s open house for you,
Old friends,

There’s open house for you!
Gerald Massey.
Qo Qo oo

The mind never unbends itself so agreeably
as in the conversation of a well-chosen friend.
There is indeed no blessing of life that is any
way comparable to the enjoyment of a discreet
and virtuous friend. It eases and unloads the
mind, clears and improves the understanding,
engenders thoughts and knowledge, animates
virtue and good resolutions, soothes and allays
the passions, and finds employment for most of
the vacant hours of life.

Addison.
oa oa Qo

Friendship, peculiar boon of heaven,
The noble mind’s delight and pride,
To men and angels only given,
To all the lower world denied.

Samuel Johnson.

62
FRIENDSHIP

Friendship is a wide portal, and sometimes
admits love.

finna Katherine Green.
oa ao ao

The attempt to make one false impression on
the mind of a friend respecting ourselves is of
the nature of perfidy.

William Ellery Channing.

Go GP &

Harmony of aim, not identity of conclusion,
is the secret of the sympathetic life.

John Morley.
a ao ao

The essence of friendship is entireness, a total
magnanimity and trust.

Emerson.
oOo oOo oa

Don’t flatter yourselves that friendship author-
izes you to say disagreeable things to your in-
timates. On the contrary, the nearer you come
into a relation with a person, the more necessary
do tact and courtesy become. Except in cases
of necessity, which are rare, leave your friend
to learn unpleasant truths from his enemies; they
are ready enough to tell them.

O. W. Holmes.
63
THE VALUE OF

Defend me from my friends; I can defend
myself from my enemies.
Assigned to Marshal Villars.

oOo @- 2

Think of the importance of friendship in the
education of men. It will make a man honest;
it will make him a hero; it will make him a
saint. It is the state of the just dealing with the
just, the magnanimous with the magnanimous,
the sincere with the sincere, man with man.

Thoreau.
oa eo oa

We grow by love. It is said, why live for
others? But others are our nutriment.
William Ellery Channing.

o Oo &

Of all felicities, the most charming is that of
a firm and gentle friendship. It sweetens all our
cares, dispels our sorrows, and counsels us in
all extremities. Nay, if there were no other com-
fort in it than the bare exercise of so generous
a virtue, even for that single reason a man would
not be without it; it is a sovereign antidote
against all calamities—even against the fear
of death itself.

Seneca.

64
FRIENDSHIP

A friend shares my sorrow ‘and makes it but
a moiety; but he swells my joy and makes it
double.

Jeremy Taylor.
2 2 2

A friend may be often found and lost, but an
old friend can never be found, and nature has
provided that he cannot easily be lost.

Samuel Johnson.
Co D2 &2

True friends have no solitary joy or sorrow.
William Ellery Channing.

Co DGS ff

*Tis sweet, as year by year we lose
Friends out of sight, in faith to muse
How grows in Paradise our store.
Keble.
oo 2

There are no rules for friendship. It must
be left to itself. We cannot force it any more
than love.

Hazlitt.
oa oa oa

Our friends see the best in us, and by that
very fact call forth the best from us.

Hugh Black.
65
THE VALUE OF

Old friends are the great blessing of one’s later
years. Half a word conveys one’s meaning.
They have a memory of the same events, and
have the same mode of thinking. I have young
relations that may grow upon me, for my nature
is affectionate, but can they grow old friends?

Horace Walpole.
Go BG &

A friend is most a friend of whom the best
remains to learn.

Lucy Larcom.
Go wef &@

If a man does not make new friendships as he
advances through life, he will soon find himself
left alone. A man should keep his friendships
in constant repair.

Samuel Johnson.
Co o&S 2

Even the utmost good-will and harmony and
practical kindness are not sufficient for friend-
ship, for friends do not live in harmony, merely,
as some say, but in melody. We do not wish
for friends to feed and clothe our bodies, —
neighbours are kind enough for that,—but to
do the like office to our spirits. For this, few
are rich enough, however well disposed they
may be.

Thoreau.

66
FRIENDSHIP

Friendship is a word, the very sight of which
in print makes the heart warm.

:

Augustine Birretl.
Oo OG #2

To cast away a virtuous friend I call as bad
as to cast away one’s own life, which one loves
best.

Sophocles.
oa a a

A friend whom you have been gaining during
your whole life, you ought not to be displeased
with in a moment. A stone is many years be-
coming a ruby; take care that you do not des-
troy it in an instant against another stone.

Saadi.
oa 2 2

It has seemed to me lately more possible
than I knew, to carry a friendship greatly, on
one side, without due correspondence on the
other. Why should I cumber myself with the
poor fact that the receiver is not capacious?
It never troubles the sun that some of his rays
fall wide and vain into ungrateful space, and
only a small part on the reflecting planet... . It
is thought a disgrace to love unrequited. But
the great will see that true love cannot be un-
requited.

Emerson.

67
THE VALUE OF

Two persons will not be friends long if they
cannot forgive each other’s little failings.
La Bruyére.
2 2 2

We can never replace a friend. When a man
is fortunate enough to have several, he finds that
they are all different; no one has a double in
friendship.

Schiller.
4 ao oa

The comfort of having a friend may be taken
away, but not that of having had one.
Seneca.

oo oS 2

Friendship is that by which the world is most
blessed and receives most good.
Jeremy Taylor.

Qo 2® 2

I have felt this blessing of being able to
respond to new friendships very strongly lately,
for I have lost many old and valued connections
during this trying spring. I thank God far
more earnestly for such blessings than for my
daily bread, for friendship is the bread of the
heart.

ig Russell Mitford.
FRIENDSHIP

I hope I do not break the fifth command-
ment, if I conceive I may love my friend before
the dearest of my blood —even those to whom
I owe the principle of life. I never yet cast
a true affection on a woman, but I have loved
my friend as I do virtue, my soul, and my God.
From hence, methinks, I do conceive how God
loves man; what happiness there is in the love
of God.

Sir Thomas Browne.
ao oa oa

Friendships begin with liking or gratitude —
roots that can be pulled up.

George Eliot.
oa o& oa

Friendship should be surrounded with cere-
monies and respects, and not crushed into cor-
ners. Friendship requires more time than poor
busy men can usually command.

Emerson.
oa oa @&

It is equally impossible to forget our friends,
and to make them answer to our ideal. When
they say farewell, then indeed we begin to keep
them company. How often we find ourselves
turning our backs on our actual friends that we
may go out and meet their ideal cousins!

Thoreau.

69
a)
*

THE VALUE OF

The more we love, the better we are, and
the greater our friendships are, the dearer we
are to God.

Jeremy Taylor.

True, active, productive friendship consists
in keeping equal pace in life, in the approval of
my aims by my friend, while I approve his, and
thus moving forwards together steadily, how-
ever much our way of thought and life may
vary.

Goethe.
o @ &

The dear Father (i. e. Francis de Sales) used
often to rebuke me for my faults, saying “I ex-
pect you to be very grateful to me for this; it
is the greatest proof I can give of my friendship,
and I should be more sure of yours for me if
you would do the like; but you are very luke-
warm on this score; you are much too cautious.
Real love goes boldly on, without hesitating so
much about details. A surgeon who lets a man
die from lack of firmness to probe his wound
would be thought cruel rather than compassion-
ate, and a sharp correction is sometimes as neces-
sary for the soul’s welfare as the knife for that of
the diseased body.”

Jean Pierre Camus.
70
FRIENDSHIP a

He who has made friends, loyal and true, —
if they have been friends in various circum-~
stances and lines of life, may be sure that he
has partly succeeded in life and has not wholly
failed. It is not simply that he is happier be-
cause he has troops of friends around him, but he
has so much right to say that “ He did the thing
that he was sent to do.”

Edward Everett Hale.
oa 2 2

If a man should importune me to give a reason
why I loved my friend, I find it could not other-
wise be expressed than by the answer, “ Be-
cause he was he; because I was I.”

Montaigne.

Much certainly of the happiness and purity
of our lives depends on our making a wise choice
of our companions and friends. Many people
seem to trust in this matter to the chapter of
accidents. It is well and right, indeed, to be
courteous and considerate to every one with
whom one is thrown in contact, but to choose
them as real friends is another matter... . If
our friends are badly chosen they will inevitably
drag us down; if well they will raise us up.

Sir John Lubbock.
71
THE VALUE OF

No such affront can be offered to a friend
as a conscious good-will, a friendliness which is
not a necessity of the friend’s nature.

Thoreau.
o 2G oe

My only sketch, profile, of Heaven is a large
blue sky, bluer and larger than the biggest I
have seen in June, and in it are my friends —
all of them—every one of them—those who
are with me now, and those who were “ parted ”
as we walked, and “snatched up to Heaven.”

Emily Dickinson.
oo 2

Hearts are linked to hearts by God. The
friend on whose fidelity you can count, whose
success in life flushes your cheek with honest
satisfaction, whose triumphant career you have
traced and read with a heart throbbing almost
as if it were a thing alive, for whose honour
you would answer as for your own; that friend,
given to you by circumstances over which you
have no control, was God’s own gift.

F. W. Robertson.
Oo oD 2

In love women exceed the generality of men,
but in friendship we have infinitely the advantage.

La Bruyere.
72
FRIENDSHIP

We must, moreover, be as careful to keep
friends as to make them. The affections should
not be mere “tents of a night.” Friendship gives
no privilege to make ourselves disagreeable.
Some people never seem to appreciate their
friends till they have lost them.

Sir John Lubbock.
o 2 2

To win and hold a friend we are compelled
to keep ourselves at his ideal point, and in turn
our love makes on him the same appeal. Each
insists on his right in the other to an ideal. All
around the circle of our best beloved it is this
idealizing that gives to love its beauty and its
pain and its mighty leverage on character... .
“What is the secret of your life?” asked Mrs.
Browning of Charles Kingsley; “tell me, that I
may make mine beautiful too.” He replied, “I
had a friend.”

W. C. Gannett.
Oo 2 &

There are natures in which, if they love us,
we are conscious of having a sort of baptism
and consecration; they bind us over to recti-
tude and purity by their pure belief about us;
and our sins become the worst kind of sacrilege,
which tears down the invisible altar of trust.

George Eliot.
m3
THE VALUE OF

Life is to be fortified by many friendships.
To love and to be loved is the greatest happi-
ness of existence.

Sydney Smith.

The condition which high friendship demands
is ability to do without it.

Emerson.

Go Ga &

No word is oftener on the lips of men than
“friendship,” and indeed no thought is more
familiar to their aspirations. All men are dream-
ing of it, and its drama, which is always a
tragedy, is enacted daily. It is the secret of the
universe. ’

Thoreau.
Oo 2 o&

A friendship will be young after a lapse of
a century. A passion is old at the end of three
months.

Nigu.

There is no folly equal to that of throwing
away friendship in a world where friendship is
so rare.

Edward Bulwer-Lytton.
74
FRIENDSHIP

In friendship we only see the faults which
may be prejudicial to our friends. In love we
see no faults, but those by which we suffer our-
selves.

+

La Bruyére.
oa oa oa

A friend is worth all hazards we can run.
‘ Young.
o 2 2

It is more dishonourable to distrust a friend
than to be deceived by him.
La Rochefoucauld.
o D2 2

Deliberate long before thou consecrate a
friend; and when thy impartial judgment con-
cludes him worthy of thy bosom receive him
joyfully, and entertain him wisely; impart thy
secrets boldly, and mingle thy thoughts with
his; he is thy very self, and use him so. If thou
firmly thinkest him faithful, thou makest him so.

Francis Quarles.
Oo 2 2

Perhaps the most delightful friendships are
those in which there is much agreement, much
disputation, and yet more personal liking.

George Eliot.
75
THE VALUE OF

It is one of the severest tests of friendship
to tell your friend of his faults. If you are
angry with a man, or hate him, it is not hard
to go to him and stab him with words; but so
to love a man that you cannot bear to see the
stain of sin upon him, and to speak painful

truth through loving words —that is friendship. ~

But few have such friends. Our enemies usually
teach us what we are, at the point of the sword.
Henry Ward Beecher.
oo 2

It turns the stomach, it blots the daylight,
where I look for a manly furtherance, or at
least a manly resistance, to find a mush of con-
cession. Better be a nettle in the side of your
friend than his echo.

Emerson.
oOo GF @&

When we have fallen through story after
story of our vanity and aspiration, and sit rue-
ful among the ruins, then it is that we begin
to measure the stature of our friends; how they
stand between us and our own contempt, be-
lieving in our best.

’ Robert Louis Stevenson.
Oo DF oo

Friendship is the shadow of the evening, which

strengthens with the setting sun of life.

La Fontaine.

76
FRIENDSHIP
>

Not on the store of sprightly wine,
Nor plenty of delicious meats,

Though generous Nature did design
To court us with perpetual treats;

*Tis not on these we for content depend,
So much as on the shadow of a friend.

From the Greek of Menander.
oa oa oa

The city’s ways are not my ways, and never
Shall I to its demands be reconciled;

I walk amid its roar and rumble, dreaming,

A cool and careful man in outward seeming,
But in my heart a lost and lonely child.

I wear a mask, as you do and as all do,

To hide what none has time to comprehend;
A mask of settled purpose and of daring,
To hide how very little I am caring

For anything but just to find a friend.

Frank Putnam.
oa ao oa

Friends are discovered rather than made; there
are people who are in their own nature friends,
only they don’t know each other; but certain
things, like poetry, music, and painting, are like
the Freemason’s sign,—they reveal the initi-
ated to each other.

Mrs. H. B. Stowe.
77
THE VALUE OF

Friendship is a strong and habitual inclination
in two persons to promote the good and happi-
ness of each other.

Joseph Addison.
o 2 2

It is a noble and great thing to cover the
blemishes and to excuse the failings of a friend;
to draw a curtain before his stains, and to dis-
play his perfections; to bury his weaknesses in
silence, but to proclaim his virtues upon the
housetop.

Robert South.
Oo 2P 2

Love is the greatest of human affections, and
friendship the noblest and most refined improve-
ment of love.

Robert South.
oOo a2 oa

Friendship is a vase, which, when it is flawed
by heat, or violence, or accident, may as well
be broken at once; it never can be trusted after.
The more graceful and ornamental it was, the
more clearly do we discern the hopelessness of
restoring it to its former state. Coarse stones,
if they are fractured, may be cemented again;
precious ones, never.

W. S. Landor.
78
FRIENDSHIP

Friendship is no plant of hasty growth,
Though planted in esteem’s deep-fixed soil,
The gradual culture of kind intercourse
Must bring it to perfection.
Joanna Baillie.
eo 2 2

Friendship is made up of esteem and pleasure;
pity is composed of sorrow and contempt: the
mind may for some time fluctuate between them,
but it can never entertain both at once.

Oliver Goldsmith.
o 2 2

A female friend, amiable, clever, and devoted,
is a possession more valuable than parks and
palaces; and without such a muse few men can
succeed in life, none be contented.

Lord Beaconsfield.
Oo 2G 2

True friends visit us in prosperity only when
invited, but in adversity they come without
invitation.

Theophrastus.
oo @& oa

Friendship always benefits, while love some-
times injures.

Seneca.

12)
THE VALUE OF

He who cannot feel friendship is alike inca-
pable of love. Let a woman beware of the man
who owns that he loves no one but herself.

Talleyrand.
Oo DS eo

There is nothing so great that I fear to do for
my friend; nor nothing so small that I will dis-
dain to do for him.

Sir Philip Sidney.
ao 2 oa

To be influenced by a passion for the same
pursuits, and to have similar dislikes, is the
rational groundwork of lasting friendship.

Sallust.
o 2 2
/
He who has made the acquisition of a judi-
cious and sympathizing friend may be said to
have doubled his mental resources.

Robert Hall.
oa oa a

Real friendship is a slow grower, and never
thrives, unless engrafted upon a stock of known

and reciprocal merit.
Lord Chesterfield.
o oD 2

“Who is a friend like me?” said the shadow
to the body. “Do I not follow you wherever
80
FRIENDSHIP

you go? Sunlight or moonlight I never for-
sake you.” “It is true,” said the body; “you are
with me in sunlight and moonlight, but where
are you when neither sun nor moon shines upon
me? The true friend abides with us in dark-
ness.” d

finon.
Co 2G &

When Socrates was building himself a house
at Athens, being asked by one that observed
the littleness of the design why a man so eminent
would not have an abode more suitable to his
dignity, he replied that he should think himself
sufficiently accommodated if he could see that
narrow habitation filled with real friends.

Samuel Johnson.
2 oa oo

Love led me to an unknown land and fain was
I to go;

From peak to peak a weary way he lures me to
and fro;

On narrow ledge and dizzy height he dares my
wayworn feet —

I would that I were back again to walk Old
Friendship Street.

It’s there one knew the level road, the even
grass-grown way;
81
THE VALUE OF

My brain grew never wildered there, my feet
might never stray;

But here I quarrel for the path with every soul
I meet —

I would that I were back again to walk Old
Friendship Street.

It’s here I find no gracious hand to close within
my own,

But there one never raised a song to find he
sang alone;

And always at a neighbour’s hearth were kindly
glass and seat —

T would that I were back again to walk Old
Friendship Street.

I’m sick of awful depths and heights, I’m sick
i of storm and strife;
‘) dll let love lead for bolder folk and take my ease

in life.

I know whose voice will hail me first, whose
welcoming be sweet —

It’s I am going back again to walk Old Friend-
ship Street.

Theodosia Garrison.
Oo 2 &

He who has a thousand friends has not a friend
to spare,
But he who has one enemy will meet him every-

where.
Oriental Proverb.

82
FRIENDSHIP

Alter? When the hills do.
Falter? When the sun
Question if his glory
Be the perfect one.

Surfeit? When the daffodil
Doth of the dew:

Even as herself, O friend!
I will of you!

Emily Dickinson.
oOo oOo o

SIT CLOSER, FRIENDS

Sit closer, friends, around the board!
Death grants us yet a little time.
Now let the cheering cup be poured,
And welcome song and jest and rhyme,
Enjoy the gifts that fortune sends,
Sit closer, friends!

And yet, we pause. With trembling lip
We strive the fitting phrase to make;
Remembering our fellowship,
Lamenting Destiny’s mistake,
We marvel much when Fate offends
And claims our friends.

Companion of our nights of mirth,
When all were merry who were wise,
Does Death quite understand your worth,
And know the value of his prize?
83
THE VALUE OF

I doubt me if he comprehends —
He knows no friends.

And in that realm is there no joy
Of comrades and the jocund sense?
Can Death so utterly destroy —
For gladness grant no recompense?
And can it be that laughter ends,
With absent friends?

O scholars! whom we wisest call,
Who solve great questions at your ease,
We ask the simplest of them all,
And yet you cannot answer these!
And is it thus your knowledge ends,
To comfort friends?

Dear Omar, should You chance to meet
Our Brother Somewhere in the Gloom,
Pray give to Him a Message Sweet,
From Brothers in the Tavern Room.
He will not ask Who ’tis that sends,
For We were Friends.

Again a parting sail we see;
Another boat has left the shore,
A kinder soul on board has she
Than ever left the land before.
And as her outward course she bends,
Sit closer, friends!

Arthur Macy.
84
FRIENDSHIP

Come, I will make the continent indissoluble,
I will make the most splendid race the sun ever
shone upon,
I will make divine magnetic lands,
With the love of comrades,
With the life-long love of comrades.
I will plant companionship thick as trees along
all the rivers of America, and along the
shores of the great lakes, and all over the
prairies,
I will make inseparable cities with their arms
about each other’s necks,
By the love of comrades,
By the manly love of comrades.

Walt Whitman.
a oa

Heraclitus saith well in one of his enigmas:
“Dry light is ever the best.” And certain it is,
that the light that a man receiveth by counsel
from another is drier and purer than that which
cometh from his own understanding and judg-
ment, which is ever infused and drenched in his
affections and customs. So there is as much dif-
ference between the counsel that a friend giveth
and that a man giveth himself, as there is between
the counsel of a friend and of a flatterer. For
there is no such flatterer as is a man’s self; and
there is no such remedy against flattery of a
man’s self as the liberty of a friend.

Bacon.

85
       
  
  
     
    

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FRIENDSHIP .

There is nothing which so allures and draws
any object to itself as congeniality does friend-
ship; it will, of course, be admitted as true that
the good must love the good, and unite them to
themselves, just as if connected by relationship
and nature; for nothing is more apt to seek and
seize on its like than nature. Wherefore this
certainly is clear, that among the good a liking
for the good is, as it were, inevitable; and this,
indeed, is appointed by nature herself as the very
fountain of friendship.

Cicero.
o 2g 2

I am not changeable in friendship; and I think
I can promise you you have a pair of trusty well-
wishers and friends in Bournemouth: whether
they write or not is but a small thing; the flag
may not be waved, but it is there.

R. L. Stevenson’s ‘‘ Letters.’
(To J. A. Symonds, 1886.)

Oo Df &

God divided man into men that they might help

each other.
s

Co 2G

Seneca.

Friends are true twins in soul; they sympa-
thize in everything, and have the same love and
aversion.

One is not happy without the other; nor can
either of them be miserable alone. As if they

87
THE VALUE OF

could change bodies, they take their turns in
pain as well as in pleasure; relieving one another
in their most adverse conditions.

What one enjoys, the other cannot want. Like
the primitive Christians, they have all things in
common, and no property, but in one another.

William Penn.
Oo 2

Friendship needs to be rooted in respect, but
love can live upon itself alone.
Ouida.
o D2 2
The tree withereth
Which stands in the courtyard
Without shelter of bark or of leaf.
So is a man
Destitute of friends.
Why should he live on?
The Hava:mal.
o 2
Let this, therefore, be established as a primary
law concerning friendship, that we expect from
our friends only what is honourable, and for our
friends’ sake do what is honourable; that we
should not wait till we are asked; that zeal be
ever ready, and reluctance far from us.
Cicero.
o D2 2
It is true that friendship often ends in love,
but love in friendship never.

Caleb Colton.
88
FRIENDSHIP

I dream’d in a dream I saw a city invincible to the
attacks of the whole of the rest of the earth,

I dream’d that was the new city of Friends,

Nothing was greater there than the quality of ro-
bust love, it led the rest,

It was seen every hour in the actions of the men
of that city,

And in all their looks and words.

Walt Whitman.
o 2

There can be no friendship where there is no
freedom. Friendship loves a free air, and will not
be penned up in straight and narrow enclosures.
It will speak freely, and act so, too; and take
nothing ill, where no ill is meant; nay, where it
is, it will easily forgive, and forget, too, upon
small acknowledgments.

William Penn.
oa oa

True friendships are eternal.

Cicera.
oa ao ao

There is this important difference between love
and friendship: while the former delights in
extremes and opposites, the latter demands
equalities.

Mme. de Maintenon.
o Oo 2

In friendship there is nothing false, and noth-
ing pretended; and whatever belongs to it is
sincere and spontaneous. Wherefore, friendship

89
THE VALUE OF

seems to me to have sprung rather from nature
than from a sense of want, and more from an
attachment of the mind with a certain feeling
of affection, than from a calculation how much
advantage it would afford.
Cicero.
o 2 2
He who has ceased to enjoy his friend’s supe-
riority, has ceased to love him.
Madame Swetchine.
Oo 2D 2

Make not a Bosom Friend of a melancholy soul:
he’ll be sure to aggravate thy adversity, and lessen
thy prosperity. He goes always heavy loaded;
and thou must bear half. He’s never in a good
humour; and may easily get into a bad one, and
fall out with thee.

Thomas Fuller.
Oo

The best way to represent to life the manifold
use of friendship is to cast and see how many
things there are which a man cannot do himself;
and then it will appear that it was a sparing
speech of the ancients to say “that a friend is

another himself.”
Bacon.

o 2 2
Purchase not friends by gifts; when thou ceas-
est to give, such will cease to love.

Thomas Fuller.
go
FRIENDSHIP ~

While friendship embraces very many and
great advantages, she undoubtedly surpasses all
in this, that she shines with a brilliant hope over
the future, and never suffers the spirit to be
weakened or to sink. Besides, he who looks on a
true friend, looks, as it were, upon a kind of
image of himself; wherefore, friends, though
absent, are still present; though in poverty, they
are rich; though weak, yet in the enjoyment of
health; and, what is still more difficult to assert,
though dead, they are alive; so entirely does the
honour, the memory, the regret of friends attend
them.

Cicero.
o B@ 2
I am convinced that the extension and perfec-
tion of friendship will constitute great part of the
future happiness of the blest. Many have lived
in various and distant ages and countries, per-
fectly adapted (I mean not merely in their being
generally estimable, but in the agreement of their
tastes, and suitableness of their dispositions) for
friendship with each other, but who, of course,
could never meet in this world. ...I should be
sorry to think such a wish absurd and presump-
tuous, or unlikely to be gratified.
Richard Whately.
o 2
How few take pains for friendship! How few
plan for it! It is treated as a haphazard, fortui-
gI
THE VALUE OF

tous thing. May good luck send us friends; we
will not go after them. May favouring fortune
bind our friendships; we will take no stitches
ourselves. Review yesterday, and all your yes-
terdays. Did they open with any thought for
friendship —its pursuit, its retention, its glorifi-
cation? Yet friendship requires painstaking. No
art is so difficult, no craft so arduous. Roll a ball
of clay and expect it to become a rose in your
hand, but never expect acquaintanceship, with-
out care and thought, to blossom into friendship.

fimos R. Wells.
Oo eG 2

Let friendship creep gently to a height; if it
rush to it, it may soon run itself out of breath.
Thomas Fuller.

Oo oS 2

A long novitiate of acquaintance should precede
the vows of friendship.

Lord Bolingbroke.
ao oa o2

It may be worth noticing, as a curious circum-
stance, when persons past forty, before they were
at all acquainted, form together a very close inti-
macy of friendship. For grafts of old wood to
take, there must be a wonderful congeniality
between the trees.

Richard Whately.
92
FRIENDSHIP

The covetous, the angry, the proud, the jealous,
the talkative, cannot but make ill friends, as well
as false.

William Penn.
oa o

The calling of a man’s self to a strict account
is a medicine sometimes too piercing and corro-
sive. Reading good books of morality is a little
flat and dead. Observing our faults in others
is sometimes improper for our case. But the best
receipt (best, I say, to work, and best to take),
is the admonition of a friend.

Bacon.
oa oa a

If a man urge me to tell wherefore I loved him,
I feel it cannot be expressed but by answering,
because it was he, because it was myself. There
is, beyond all my discourse, and besides what
I can particularly report of it, I know not what
inexplicable and fatal power, a mean and media-
trix of this indissoluble union. We sought one
another before we had seen one another, and by
the reports we heard one of another which
wrought a greater violence in us than the reason
of reports may well bear; I think by some secret
ordinance of the heavens we embraced one an-
other by our names. And at our first meeting,
which was by chance at a great feast and solemn
meeting of a whole township, we found ourselves

93
THE VALUE OF

so surprised, so known, so acquainted, and so
combinedly bound together, that from thence-
forward nothing was so near unto us as one unto
another.
Montaigne.
Oo oa 2
One friend, writing when he had received the
news of Stevenson’s death, says: “So great was
his power of winning love that, though I knew
him for less than a week, I could have borne the
loss of many a more intimate friend with less
sorrow.” One of the strongest impressions left
on the mind by his biography and his letters is,
that the landmarks and mile-stones of his life
were the successive friendships which he formed.
John Kelman: ‘‘The Faith of R. L. Stevenson.’
o DoD 2

If my brother, or kinsman, will be my friend,
I ought to prefer him before a stranger; or I
show little duty or nature to my parents.

And as we ought to prefer our kindred in point
of affection, so, too, in point of charity, if equally
needing and deserving.

William Penn.
o 2

Nobody has discovered the means by which
a dead friendship can be resuscitated. To hope
for that would be vain indeed, and idle the waste
of thought in such a bootless quest.

Philip Gilbert Hamerton.
94
FRIENDSHIP

Death is but crossing the world, as friends do
the seas; they live in one another still.

For they must needs be present, that love and
live in that which is omnipresent.

In this divine glass, they see face to face; and
their converse is free, as well as pure.

:

William Penn.
oOo D2 2

Prosperity friendship renders more brilliant,
and adversity more supportable, by dividing and
communicating it.

Cicero.
oa a a

It is easy to say, “I am so sorry for you,” but
does your heart ache while you say it? It is easy
to say, “I congratulate you,” but does all the sky
shine brighter for your friend’s joy? Is his food
meat to you?

fimos R. Wells.
oa oOo oo

Love is a sudden blaze which soon decays,
Friendship is like the sun’s eternal rays.

John Gay.
Qo 2@ @&2

At school, friendship is a passion. It entrances
the being; it tears the soul. All loves of after-
life can never bring its rapture, or its wretched-
ness; no bliss so absorbing, no pangs of jealousy

95
THE VALUE OF

or despair so crushing and so keen! What tender-
ness and what devotion; what illimitable confi-
dence, infinite revelations of inmost thoughts;
what ecstatic present and romantic future; what
bitter estrangements and what melting reconcilia-
tions; what scenes of wild recrimination, agitating
explanations, passionate correspondence; what
insane sensitiveness, and what frantic sensibility;
what earthquakes of the heart, and whirlwinds
of the soul are confined in that simple phrase, a

schoolboy’s friendship!
Beaconsfield: ‘‘ Coningsby.’”

Co GS 2

Friendship is helpful— not so much because it
helps you as because it compels you to help your
friend. Selfishness is the foundation of sin, and

friendship is the destruction of selfishness.

Amos R. Wells.
Oo 2

What can be more delightful than to have one
to whom you can speak on all subjects just as to
yourself? Where would be the great enjoyment
in prosperity if you had not one to rejoice in it
equally with yourself? And adversity would in-
deed be difficult to endure without some one who
would bear it even with greater regret than your-
self. In short, all other objects that are sought
after are severally suited to some one single pur-
pose; riches, that you may spend them; power,

96
FRIENDSHIP

that you may be courted; honours, that you may
be extolled; pleasures, that you may enjoy them;
good health, that you may be exempt from harm,
and perform the functions of the body. Whereas
friendship comprises the greatest number of ob-
jects possible; wherever you turn yourself, it is
at hand; shut out of no place, never out of season,
never irksome; and therefore we do not use fire
and water, as they say, on more occasions than
we do friendship.

Cicero.
2 2 2

Give friendship, whether the object of your
friendship becomes a friend or not. It is a most
hindering error to suppose that two are required
for a friendship. The most enriching friendships
of all times have been lonely ones. .Be you a
friend.

Amos R. Wells.
oOo ao oOo

Although the great friendship of Tennyson’s
life was early severed and remained a perpetual
sorrow, yet throughout his long life the poet was
always surrounded by a circle of more than ac-
quaintances and admirers. .Friendships begun
at college continued, friendships springing from
like labours and enthusiasms strengthened, friend-
ships slowly growing from exchange of thoughts
and interchange of sympathies ripened and ma-

97
THE VALUE OF

tured. Tennyson’s soul went forth unto all that
was worthy, and he was willing to accept volun-
tarily as a friend the man whose work was his
recommendation.

J. Cuming Walters:
**Tennyson: Poet, Philosopher, Idealist.’’

oOo oS &2

Friendship maketh indeed a fair day in the
affections from storms and tempests; but it
maketh daylight in the understanding, out of
darkness and confusion of thoughts. Neither is,
this to be understood only of faithful counsel,
which a man receiveth from his friend; but be-
fore you come to that, certain it is that whoso-
ever hath his mind fraught with many thoughts,
his wits and understanding do clarify and break
up in the communicating and discoursing with
another; he tosseth his thoughts more easily;
he marshalleth them more orderly; he seeth how
they look when they are turned into words.
Finally, he waxeth wiser than himself, and that
more by an hour’s discourse than by a day’s
meditation.

Bacon.
oOo 2@ 2

It is the fashion to deride female friendship,
to look with scorn on those who profess it.
There is always to me a doubt of the warmth,

98
FRIENDSHIP

the strength, and purity of her feelings, when a
girl merges into womanhood, looking down on
female friendship as romance and folly.

Grace Aguilar.
oa a oa

How few have courage for friendship! The
daring that offers blame instead of the desired
praise. The boldness that lays a healing finger
upon the hurt. The faithfulness that adheres
to faultfinding when one longs for occasion to
commend. The loving strength that will even
sacrifice friendship rather than be untrue to it.

Atmos R. Wells.
Go BG &

He who has once stood beside the grave to look
back on the companionship which has been for
ever closed, feeling how impotent then are the
wild love and the keen sorrow, to give one in-
stant’s pleasure to the pulseless heart, or atone
in the lowest measure to the departed spirit for
the hour of unkindness, will scarcely for the
future incur that debt to the heart which can only
be discharged to the dust.

John Ruskin.
Go GF &

Those that want friends to open themselves
unto are cannibals of their own hearts.

Bacon.

99
THE VALUE OF

So sure and large is this moral element in love
that by it one can go far to “ make”? friends, after
all. If we choose to be, we can be “wanted” in
this world.

W. C. Gannett.

Deliberate on all things with thy friend.

But, since friends grow not thick on every bough,

Nor every friend unrotten at the core;

First, on thy friend, deliberate with thyself;

Pause, ponder, sift; not eager in the choice,

Nor jealous of the chosen; fixing, fix.

Judge before friendship, then confide till death.
Young.

The purest and most lasting human friendships
are permeated with an element of reverence.
Austin Phelps.

Co BG &

In this respect friendship is superior to relation~
ship, because from relationship benevolence can
be withdrawn, and from friendship it cannot; for
with the withdrawal of benevolence the very name
of friendship is done away, while that of relation-
ship remains.

Cicero.
Ico
FRIENDSHIP

In friendship we see only those faults which
may be prejudicial to our friends; while in love
we discern no faults but those by which we our-
selves suffer,

La Bruyere.
2 2 ao

Large was his bounty, and his soul sincere,

Heaven did a recompense as largely send:

He gave to misery (all he had) a tear,

He gain’d from Heaven (’twas all he wish’d) a
friend.

Gray.

How sweet, how passing sweet, is solitude;
But grant me still a friend in my retreat,
Whom I may whisper — solitude is sweet.

Cowper.
oOo o oo

Friendship’s the wine of life.

Young.
Co GF &

I no more think I can have too many of your
letters, than I could have too many writings to
entitle me to the greatest estate in the world;
which I think so valuable a friendship as yours is
equal to.

Pope: ‘‘To Lady Montagu.’”
IOI
THE VALUE OF

I count myself in nothing else so happy,
As in a soul rememb’ring my good friends.

Shakespeare.
Oo 2 oS

The surest bulwark against evil is that of 1
friendship.

Cicero,
Oo BP 2B

To God, thy country, and thy friend be true.

Daughan.
2 Qo a

Be true to your word and your work and your

friend.
John Boyle O'Reilly.

Co B@ &

Children know,
Instinctive taught, the friend and foe.

Walter Scott.
Qa 2 oa

Believing hear, what you deserve to hear: %

Your birthday, as my own, to me is dear. =

Blest and distinguish’d days! which we should =
prize

The first, the kindest, bounty of the skies. |

But yours gives most; for mine did only lend

Me to the world, yours gave to me a friend.

Martial. —_
102
5 aay

FRIENDSHIP °

He makes no friend who never made a foe.

Tennyson.
Go BG &

Green be the turf above thee,
Friend of my better days!

None knew thee but to love thee,
Nor named thee but to praise.

Fitz:Greene Halleck.

Oo oS 2

I am certain that a more active friend has rarely
been found in any age. This work, which I
fondly hope will rescue his [Johnson’s] memory
from obloquy, contains a thousand instances of
his benevolent exertions in almost every way
that can be conceived; and particularly in em-
ploying his pen with a generous readiness for
those to whom its aid could be useful. Indeed,
his obliging activity in doing little offices of
kindness, both by letters and personal applica-
tion, was one of the most remarkable features

in his character.
Boswell.

o oa 2

Whatever is founded on mere carnal love,

vanity or frivolity, on such attractions as are

purely external, a sweet voice, personal beauty,

superficial cleverness or outward show, is un-
worthy to be called friendship.

Francis de Sales.
103
% a ii. .

THE VALUE OF

I exhort you to lay the foundations of virtue,
without which friendship cannot exist, in such
a manner that, with this one exception, you may
consider that nothing in the world is more excel-
lent than friendship.

Cicero.
oOo 2 2

Reprove your friends in secret, praise them
openly.

Publius Syrus.
2 2

“Wal’r, my boy,” replied the captain, “in the
Proverbs of Solomon you will find the following
words, ‘ May we never want a friend in need, nor
a bottle to give him!’ When found, make a note
of,”

Dickens: ‘‘Dombey and Son.’’
oa oa oa

This perfect amity I speak of is indivisible;
each man doth so wholly give himself unto his
friend, that he hath nothing left him to divide
elsewhere; moreover, he is grieved that he is not
double, triple, or quadruple, and hath not many
souls, or sundry wills, that he might confer them
all upon this subject. Common friendships may
be divided; a man may love beauty in one, facility
of behaviour in another, liberality in one, and

104
FRIENDSHIP

wisdom in another, paternity in this, fraternity
in that man, and so forth; but this amity which
possesseth the soul, and sways it in all sover-
eignty, it is impossible it should be double. If two
at one instant should require help, to which would
you run? Should they crave contrary offices of
you, what order would you follow? Should one
commit a matter to your silence, which, if the
other knew, would greatly profit him, what course
would you take? Or how would you discharge
yourself? A singular and principal friendship
dissolveth all other duties, and freeth all other
obligations. The secret I have sworn not to re-
veal to another, I may, without perjury, impart
it unto him who is no other but myself. It is
a great and strange wonder for a man to double
himself; and those that talk of tripling know not
nor cannot reach unto the height of it.

Montaigne. -

The highest compact we can make with our
fellow, is, — Let there be truth between us two
forevermore. ... It is sublime to feel and say
of another, I need never meet, or speak, or write
to him; we need not reinforce ourselves, or send
tokens of remembrance; I rely on him as on my-
self; if he did thus or thus, I know it was right.

Emerson.
105
THE VALUE OF

Whatever the number of a man’s friends, there
will be times in his life when he has one too few;
but if he has only one enemy, he is lucky, indeed,
if he has not one too many.

Bulwer-Lytton.
Oo 2 &

Since human affairs are frail and fleeting, some
persons must ever be sought for whom we may
love, and by whom we may be loved; for when
affection and kind feeling are done away with,
all cheerfulness likewise is banished from exist-
ence.

Cicero.

oD 2
A true friend is for ever a friend.
George MacDonald.

Oo LS oo

A friend must not be injured even in jest.

Publius Syrus.
Oo DG 2

Friendship! mysterious cement of the soul!
Sweet’ner of life! and solder of society!

Blair: ‘‘The Grave.’’

Go GS 2

He who is his own friend is a friend to all men.

Seneca.
106

~
.

FRIENDSHIP

There is no greater bane to friendship than
adulation, fawning, and flattery. For this vice
should be branded under as many namesas possi-
ble, bcing that of worthless and designing men,
who say everything with a view of pleasing, and
nothing with regard to truth. Now while hy-
pocrisy in all things is blamable (for it does away
with all judgment of truth, and adulterates truth
itself), so especially is it repugnant to friendship,
for it destroys all truth, without which the name
of friendship can avail nothing.

Cicero.

When to the sessions of sweet silent thought
I summon up remembrance of things past,
‘I sigh the lack of many a thing I sought,
And with old woes new wail my dear time’s waste;
Then can I drown an eye unused to flow,
For precious friends hid in death’s dateless night,
And weep afresh love’s long-since cancelled woe,
And moan the expense of many a vanished sight:
Then can I grieve at grievances foregone,
And heavily from woe to woe tell o’er
The sad account of fore-bemoaned moan,
Which I new pay as if not paid before.
But if the while I think on thee, dear friend,
All losses are restored and sorrows end.

Shakespeare.
107
THE VALUE OF

Ancient Menander accounted him happy that
had but met the shadow of a true friend; verily he
had reason to say so, especially if he had tasted of
any; for truly, if I compare all the rest of my
forepassed life, which, although I have, by the
mere mercy of God, passed at rest and ease, and
except the loss of so dear a friend, free from all
grievous affliction, with an ever quietness of mind,
as one that have taken my natural and original
commodities in good payment, without searching
any others; if, as I say, I compare it all unto the
four years I so happily enjoyed the sweet com-
pany and most dear society of that worthy man,
it is nought but a vapour, nought but a dark and
irksome light.

I do but languish, I do but sorrow; and even
those pleasures all things present me with, in-
stead of yielding me comfort, do but redouble
the grief of his loss. We were co-partners in all
things. All things were with us at half; methinks
I have stolen his part from him. I was so ac-
customed to be ever two, and so inured to be
never single, that methinks I am but half myself.

Montaigne.
oa 2 @

It is a thing almost impracticable to have all
men your friends; it is enough if you have no
enemies,

Seneca.
108
FRIENDSHIP

I wish that when you died last May,
Charles, there had died along with you
Three parts of Spring’s delightful things;

Ay, and for me the fourth part too.

A foolish thought, and worse, perhaps!
There must be many a pair of friends

Who, arm in arm, deserve the warm
Moon-births and the long evening-ends.

So, for their sake, be May still May!
Let their new time, as mine of old,
Do all it did for me; I bid
Sweet sights and sounds throng manifold.

Only one little sight, one plant

Woods have in May, that starts up green
Save a sole streak which, so to speak,

Is Spring’s blood, spilt its leaves between —

That, they might spare; a certain wood
Might miss the plant; their loss were small;
But I — whene’er the leaf grows there —
Its drop comes from my heart, that’s all.
Robert Browning: ‘‘ May and Death.’’

Oo oS 2

Friendship always benefits; love sometimes
injures.
Seneca.
109
THE VALUE OF

Friends require to be advised and to be re-
proved; and such treatment ought to be taken
in a friendly spirit when it is kindly meant.

Cicero.
a oa ao

While I keep my senses I shall prefer nothing
to a pleasant friend.

Horace.
Qo o oa

The man who hails you Tom or Jack,
And proves by thumping on your back

His sense of your great merit,
Is such a friend, that one had need
Be very much his friend indeed

To pardon or to bear it.

Cowper.
o 2 2

To desire the same things and to reject the
same things, constitutes true friendship.
' Sallust,
o 2 2
To me, fair friend, you never can be old.
Shakespeare.

Oo aS 2

As the yellow gold is tried in the fire, so the
faith of friendship must be seen in adversity.

Ovid,
IIo

Bticeeds Vel
FRIENDSHIP

A friend is some one who holds you to your best
self, while an acquaintance accepts you, or leaves
you, as you choose to be. An acquaintance
studies to make himself pleasing to you, but a
friend studies to make you pleasing to God. An
acquaintance dares not or cares not to offend
you. A friend does not dare not to offend you,
if your displeasure is the road to your reforma-
tion.

Amos R. Wells.

Friendship is the greatest bond in the world.
Jeremy Taylor.

So Life’s year begins and closes;
Days, though short’ning, still can shine;
What though youth gave love and roses,
Age still leaves us friends and wine.

Moore.

The most experienced and the most widely cir-
culated of us have been able to “summer and
winter” but a very few people. Sometimes I
think the only men I really know are those who
were in college with me.

Edward Rowland Sill.
II!
THE VALUE OF

Somehow or other, friendship entwines itself
with the life of all men, nor does it suffer any
mode of spending our life to be independent of
itself.

Cicero.

If you have no friend, while ten thousand men
and women nod to you and greet you in parlours,
seek a friend as your most earnest worldly pur-
suit, and beg a friend in your prayers to heaven.

fimos R. Wells.
oa 2 2

Old friends are best. King James us’d to call
for his old shoes; they were easiest for his feet.
Selden.
Oo oD 2

Friendship is a certain rapport between two
minds during one or more phases of their exist-
ence, and the perfection of it is quite as depend-
ent upon what is not in the two minds as upon
their positive acquirements and possessions.
Hence the extreme facility with which school-
boys form friendships which, for the time, are
real, true, and delightful. School friendships
are formed so easily because boys in the same
class know the same things; and it rarely hap-
pens that in addition to what they have in com-

112
FRIENDSHIP

mon either one party or the other has any
knowledge of importance that is not in common.

Later in life, the pair of friends who were once
comrades go into different professions that fill
the mind with special professional ideas and
induce different habits of thought. Each will
be conscious, when they meet, that there is a
great range of ideas in the other’s mind from
which he is excluded, and each will have a diffi-
culty in keeping within the smaller range of
ideas that they have now in common; so that
they ‘will no longer be able to let their whole
minds play together as they used to do, and they
will probably feel more at ease with mere
acquaintances who have what is now their
knowledge, what are now their mental habits,
than with the friend of their boyhood who is.

without them.
Philip Gilbert Hamerton.

Oo DF 2

He removes the greatest ornament of friendship
who takes away from it respect.

Cicero.
2 2 eo

People are always pleased with those who par-
take pleasure with them; and hence there is a
maudlin sympathy among brother topers, — but
this is fellowship, not friendship.

Horace Smith.
113
THE VALUE OF

Whoever walks a furlong without sympathy,
walks to his own funeral drest in his shroud.
Walt Whitman.
oo OG @

Solemnity and gravity on all occasions, certainly
carry with them dignity; but friendship ought to
be easier and more free and more pleasant, and
tending more to every kind of politeness and
good nature.

Cicero.
oa oa 2

Whoever would remain regularly provided with
intellectual friends, ought to arrange a succession
of friendships, as gardeners do with peas and
strawberries, so that, whilst some are fully ripe,
others should be ripening to replace them. This
doctrine sounds like blasphemy against friend-
ship; but it is not intended to apply to the sacred
friendship of the heart, which ought to be perma-
nent, like marriage, only to the friendship of the
head, which is of the utmost utility to culture,
yet in its nature temporary.

Philip Gilbert Hamerton,.

oso oOo 2

Keep your undrest, familiar style
For strangers, but respect your friend.

Coventry Patmore.
114
FRIENDSHIP

I would not enter on my list of friends
(Though graced with polish’d manners and fine
sense,
Yet wanting sensibility) the man
Who needlessly sets foot upon a worm.
4 Cowper.
o Do 2

Friendship is like rivers, and the strand of seas,
and the air, common to all the world; but tyrants,
and evil customs, wars, and want of love, have
made them proper and peculiar.

Jeremy Taylor.
oa 2 ao

The foundation of that steadfastness and con-
stancy which we seek in friendship, is sincerity.
For nothing is steadfast which is insincere.

Cicero.
oOo DLS

It is ten times more difficult to maintain a
friendship by letter than by personal intercourse,
not for the obvious reason that letter-writing
Tequires an effort, but because as soon as there is
the slightest divergence of views or difference in
conduct, the expression of it or the account of it
in writing cannot be modified by kindness in the
eye, or gentleness in the tone of voice. My friend
may say almost anything to me in his private
room, because whatever passes his lips will come

115
THE VALUE OF

with tones that prove him to be still my friend;
but if he wrote down exactly the same words, and
a postman handed me the written paper, they
might seem hard, unkind, and even hostile.
Philip Gilbert Hamerton.

Co oS o&

We should employ such carefulness in forming
our friendships, that we should not at any time
begin to love the man whom we could ever
possibly hate.

Cicero.
oOo Qo oa

There is no luxury greater than that of unveil-
ing our inmost souls where we are sure of meet-
ing a superior intelligence, invincible charity,
generous sympathy, and needed support and
guidance.

William Rounseville Alger.

Qo @ &2

How great the power of friendship is, may be
best gathered from this consideration, that out
of the boundless society of the human race,
which nature herself has joined together, friend-
ship is a matter so contracted, and brought into
SO narrow a compass, that the whole of affection
is confined to two, or at any rate to very few.

Cicero.

116
 

FRIENDSHIP

.

I can only urge you to prefer friendship to

all human possessions; for there is nothing so

suited to our nature, so well adapted to prosperity
or adversity.

Cicero.
2 2 oOo

O, weary hearts! O, slumbering eyes!
O, drooping souls, whose destinies
Are fraught with fear and pain,
Ye shall be loved again!

No one is so accursed by fate,

No one so utterly desolate,
But some heart, though unknown,
Responds unto his own.

Responds, —as if with unseen wings,

An angel touched its quivering strings;
And whispers, in its song,

“Where hast thou stayed so long?”

Longfellow.
oa ao oa

Friendship is nothing else than a complete
union of feeling on all subjects, divine and human,
accompanied by kindly feeling and attachment;
than which, indeed, I am not aware whether, with
the exception of wisdom, anything better has been
bestowed on man by the immortal gods.

Cicero.
117
THE VALUE OF

Only a shelter for my head I sought,
One stormy winter night;

To me the blessing of my life was brought,
Making the whole world bright.

How shall I thank thee for a gift so sweet,
O dearest Heavenly Friend?

I sought a resting-place for weary feet,
And found my journey’s end.

Only the latchet of a friendly door
My timid fingers tried;
A loving heart, with all its precious store,
To me was opened wide.
I asked for shelter from a passing shower, —
My sun shall always shine!
I would have sat beside the hearth an hour, —
And the whole heart was mine!
Friedrich Ruckert.
oo oG2@ 2

I am of opinion that, except among the virtuous,
friendship cannot exist.

Cicero.

Friendship is a union of spirits, a marriage of
hearts, and the bond thereof virtue.

William Penn.

118
   

 
    
      
   
    

 
 

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FRIENDSHIP p
.
Friendship consists in forgetting what on
gives, and remembering what one receives.
; Dumas fils.

e distressed at one’s own
stic of the man who loves

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