•9 
 
 A 
 
SALMAGUN 
 
 D I 
 
 
 A MISCELLANEOUS COMBINATION OF 
 
 ORIGINAL POETRY 
 
 CONSISTING OF 
 
 ILLUSIONS OF FANCYj 
 
 AMATORY, ELEGIAC, LYRICAL, EPIGR AMMATIC AL, 
 
 AND OTHER 
 
 PALATABLE INGREDIENTS. VN 
 
 SOLUM 
 
 POSCIMUS UT C.ENES CIVILITER. 
 
 JUVENAL, SAT. V. 
 
 LON don: 
 
 PRINTED BY T. BENSLEY, BOLT COURT, FLEET STREET; 
 
 FOR T. PAYNE, MEWS GATE; B. WHITE AND SON, FLEET STREET; 
 
 AND J. DEBRET, PICCADILLY. 
 
 i^. 
 
 >3TON COLLEGE vIBRARt 
 HiLL. lAASS. 
 
 

 . f . ' ' * •' V 
 
 f t ^ 
 
 f} r 
 
 u X . 
 
 
 
 vi^aafetid^. 
 
RICHARD WYATT, ES(^. 
 
 OF MILTON PLACE, SURRY : 
 
 IN ACKNOWLEDGMENT OF THE EDITOR’S OBLIGATIONS 
 
 TO HIS 
 
 LIBERAL AND LONG EXPERIENCED FRIENDSHIP, 
 
 THIS PUBLICATION IS DEDICATED, 
 
 V/ I T H 
 
 RESPECT AND GRATITUDE. 
 
CONTENTS, 
 
 Page. 
 
 Illusions of Fancy ------ 3 
 
 Amatory Odes. Ode I. - - - - - - ^3 
 
 Ode II. ------ 29 
 
 Ode III. ----- 35 
 
 Ode IV. To Lefbia’s Lute - - 47 
 
 To the Naiad of Glympton Brook 49 
 Elegy. Written at Sea - - - - - “55 
 
 Elegy. Philemon - - ---~-59 
 
 Latin Imitation of Stanzas from Gay - - - 63 
 
 Whitfuntide - -- -- -- -65 
 
 Chriftmas - -- -- -- -69 
 
 Free Imitation of an Ode by Walter de Mapes - 75 
 
 Song - - - -- -- --79 
 
 Renowned Hiftory of John an Heroick Ballad 81 
 
 Song. On the Breaking of the Water Head, 8cc. 97 
 
 William of Wickham ----- loi 
 
 The Barber’s Nuptials ------ 105 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 Page. 
 
 The Climax -- - - - - - “I13 
 
 A Morfel for a MulTulman - - - - -116 
 
 The Paradox - - - - - - -119 
 
 Addrefs of an Indian Girl to an Adder - - - 121 
 
 Epitaphium Sufannse Serle, &c. - - - 122 
 
 Lines on the late American War - - - 123 
 
 Epigrammata - - - - - - -125 
 
 Epigrams - -- -- -- - 127 
 Monody on the Death of Dick, an Academical Cat 129 
 
ILLUSIONS OF FANCY. 
 
 TO RICHARD WYATT, ESQ. 
 
 ON LEAVING HIS MANSION, AFTER ASCOT RACES. 
 
 ME LUDIT AMABILIS 
 
 INSANIA. 
 
 HOR. LIB. 3. CARM. 4. 
 

 
 
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ILLUSIONS OF FANCY 
 
 Congenial to my penlive breaft, 
 
 O’er fli ado wing clouds the fkies inveft; 
 
 Fall -falling Ihowers deform the glade, 
 
 No cheering ray difpels the fliade, 
 
 No lark’s clear carol wakes the morn 
 That low’ring bids my fteps forlorn 
 Abandon Surry’s fmiling plains, 
 
 Fly the Lov’d Roof where Friendfliip reigns, 
 Circling whofe hofpitable hearth 
 Fair Freedom, Senfe, and liberal Mirth, 
 Their heart -enlivening influence flied; 
 
 Where Time throws off his wings of lead, 
 And, clad in purple plumage light. 
 
 Speeds fwifter than the winds his flight. 
 
4 
 
 ILLUSIONS OF FANCY. 
 
 Thence, as my devious coiirfe I fleer, 
 Fancy, in fairy vifions clear. 
 
 Bids, to beguile my ’tranced eyes, 
 
 Pali joys in fweet fucceflion rife: 
 Refrediing airs flie bids me breathe 
 Where, Ascot, thine enchanting Heath, 
 Impregnated with mild perfume. 
 
 Bares its broad bofom’s purple bloom: 
 Gives me to view the fplendid croud, 
 
 The high-born racer neighing loud. 
 
 The manag’d fleeds that lide by fide 
 Precede the glittering chariot’s pride, 
 Within whofe filken coverture 
 Some peerlefs Beauty fits fecure, 
 
 And, fatal to the foul’s repofe. 
 
 Around her thrilling glances throws. 
 
 Hence, Fancy, wing thy rapid flight 
 O’er oaks in deepeft verdure dight, 
 
ILLUSIONS OF FANCY. 
 
 '5 
 
 Whofe writhed limbs of giant mould 
 Wave to* the breeze their umbrage bold; 
 Bear me, embowering drades between, 
 Through many a glade and villa green. 
 Whence lilver dreams are feen to glide, 
 And towering domes th’ horizon hide, 
 
 To Leonard’s fored - fringed Mound 
 Where lavidi Nature fpreads around 
 Whate’er can captivate the dght, 
 
 Elydan lawns, and profpedls bright, 
 
 As vidons of expiring faints. 
 
 Or fcenes that Harcourt’s pencil paints. 
 Bear me where, ’midd enamell’d meads, 
 Redundant Thames his bounty dieds. 
 Teeming with many a plenteous freight : 
 Where o’er the vale, in antique date 
 Imperial Windsor’s turrets frown, 
 
 And malTy fanes of old renown. 
 
 Give me to gaze with ardent eye 
 On gorgeous fpoils of Chivalry ; 
 
6 
 
 ILLUSIONS OF FANCr. 
 
 To ken aloft the radiant rows 
 Of banners won from Britain’s foes: 
 
 Recall the glorious deeds of yore; 
 
 Shew the dark mail that Edward wore; 
 The falchion ihew, whofe thund’ring ftroke 
 CrelTy’s pale ranks impetuous broke ; 
 
 From whofe fell glare appall’d with dread 
 Proud Gallia’s trembling chieftains fled, 
 
 Or on its edge deftru(flion found, 
 
 And dyed with regal gore the ground. 
 
 Give me, fair Fancy, to pervade 
 Chambers in pictur’d pomp array’d ! 
 Peopling whofe ftately walls I view 
 The godlike forms that Raffaelle drew; 
 I feem to fee his magic hand 
 Wield the wondrous pencil -wand, 
 
 Whofe touches animation give. 
 
 And bid th’ infenfate canvafs hve; 
 
ILLUSIONS OF FANCY. 
 
 Glowing with many a deed divine 
 Achiev’d in holy Paleftine. 
 
 The Paflions feel its potent charm, 
 
 And round the mighty mailer fwarm; 
 To, where Dismay with haggard gaze 
 The death -fmote Hypocrite furveys; 
 Beholds his eyes convnhive roll, 
 
 And Fate arrell his fordid foul! — 
 
 Lo! motionlefs Attention Bands, * 
 Where to the firmament his hands 
 Subhme the great Inftru6lor rears! 
 While Athens, rapt in wonder, hears 
 Truth’s energetic voice proclaim 
 Her unknown God’s tremendous namel- 
 
 Deep read in fuperflition’s lore, 
 Behold capricious Zeal adore ^ 
 
8 
 
 ILLUSIONS OF FANCY. 
 
 (In fublunary weeds array’d) 
 
 The fabled Gods her fears have made! 
 
 “ Thofe pow’rful founds,” flie cries, I know : 
 
 Hark ! from the honied lips they flow 
 “ Of Maia’s Son! — Can Man difpenfe 
 ‘‘ Adlivity to impotence ? 
 
 “ Can energy of mortal hand 
 “ The flirunk, diftorted limb expand ? 
 
 “ Inveterate force of ills confound, 
 
 “ And bid the lame with tranfport bound? — 
 “ ’Tis Jove’s, — the unexampled deed! 
 
 “To Jove th’ Ifaurian Steer fliall bleed ! 
 
 “To Jove the rich libations pour! 
 
 “ Braid in bright wreaths each blooming flow’r, 
 
 “ Swell each loud ftrain of feftive mirth, 
 
 “To gratulate the Gods on earth!” — 
 
 Artift fupreme ! by nature taught 
 To clothe with life each glowing thought^ 
 
ILLUSIONS OF FANCY. 
 
 9 
 
 Too foon the Deftinies confpire 
 To quench thy pencil’s glorious fire; 
 
 Too fooh the foul that warm’d thy clay 
 Afpir’d to realms of endlefs day, 
 
 On wings of ecftafy, to join 
 Sages and faints, a band divine, 
 
 Whofe awful forms (ere death withdrew 
 The veil that darkens mortal view) 
 Heav’n bade thy penetrative eye 
 Amid her dazzling courts defcry; 
 
 Thence bade ‘thee trace the faultlefs line, 
 Th’ expreffive grace, the chafte defign, 
 The mien that love and awe infpires, 
 And wakes Devotion’s purefl fires. 
 
 Thy memory, flill to genius dear, 
 Britain’s enlighten’d fons revere; 
 
 And grateful hail their Monarch’s name, 
 Whofe liberal care thy labours claim; 
 
 To heights impervious heretofore 
 Who bids immortal fcience foar; 
 
 c 
 
lO 
 
 ILLUSIONS OF FANCY. 
 
 Far feen in venerable pride, 
 
 Whofe regal feat, expanding wide 
 Its portals at his high beheft. 
 
 Hails ev’ry Art an honour’d guefl: 
 
 Beneath whofe mild aufpicious reign 
 The Genius old of Greece again, 
 
 Awaken’d from his deep repofe. 
 
 In Reynolds’ living canvafs glows; 
 
 (Where Grace and Energy divine 
 With Beauty truly blent combine) 
 
 And braids his deathlefs bays around 
 The British Raffaelle’s brows renown’d. 
 Lo! by his daring hand pourtray’d,^ 
 
 The fanguinary fcene difplay’d 
 Where martial peers, in glittering mail, 
 Unfold their pennons to the gale; 
 
 O’er Normandy’s difmantled plains 
 Where iron-clad Contention reigns; 
 
 And Havoc waits (his trefles wet 
 With gore) thy nod, Plantagenet! 
 
ILLUSIONS OF FANCY. 
 
 It 
 
 Wafted from Albion’s Ifle afar, 
 
 Where wake her fons the ftorm of war; 
 Where, ravifh’d from the parent ftem 
 To grace the Vidtor’s diadem. 
 
 Thy Lilies, France, no more affume 
 The fplendour of their wonted bloom; 
 No more with peerlefs luftre glow, 
 
 But foil with blood their native fnow!--- 
 
 Now o’er the braid from Fancy’s loom 
 The rich tints breathe a deeper gloom; 
 While, confecrated domes beneath, 
 
 Midft hoary fhrines and caves of death. 
 Secluded from the eye of day. 
 
 She bids her penfive votary flray: 
 
 Brooding o’er monumental cells. 
 
 Where awe-difiuling Silence dwells; 
 
 Save when along the lofty fane 
 Devotion wakes her hallow’d ftrain. 
 
12 
 
 ILLUSIONS OF FANCY. 
 
 When the vaft Organ’s breathing frame 
 
 f 
 
 Echoes the voice of loud acclaim, 
 
 And the deep diapafon’s found 
 Thunders the vaulted iles around. 
 
 From the broad window’s fretted height 
 Streams the rich flood of mellow’d light, 
 That bids the pav’d expanfe below 
 With hues of gold and crimfon glow. 
 Reflected from the gorgeous pane, 
 
 Where picture holds her lafting reign : 
 Where, in tranflucent glories dight, 
 Celeftial forms arreft the flght; 
 
 Th’ enraptur’d gazer’s pow’rs control, 
 
 And bathe in ecftafy the foul. 
 
 While rang’d in reverend majefty, 
 
 The taper fliafts afcending high, 
 
 To decorate the crifped roof, 
 
 Their mingling branches flioot aloof ; 
 Where, blazon’d in projecting gold, 
 
 Flame the proud crefts of Barons bold. 
 
ILLUSIONS OF FANCY. 
 
 Now beams on Fancy’s eye no more 
 The fpangled roof, the polifh’d floor, 
 
 The fpeaking chryftal’s various ftain. 
 Illumining the wondrous fane: 
 
 Choirs, altars, flirines, illulive fade. 
 
 Enliv’ning Airs my fenfe invade ; 
 
 Encircled by the young and fair. 
 
 The blithe Assembly’s blifs I fhare; 
 
 ^Swift o’er the lyre’s harmonious ftrings 
 His magic hand the minflrel flings^ 
 Obedient to the fprightly found. 
 
 The dancer’s quivering feet rebound; 
 Diffliflng wide their fllver rays. 
 
 Aloft the fparkling luflres blaze; 
 
 While milder emanations flow 
 From love - enkindling orbs below. 
 
 Here, peerlefs Cheshire, I behold 
 Thy loofe robe float in airy fold I 
 

 ILLUSIONS OF FANCY. 
 
 Tall as the pine’s cerulean creft, 
 
 Encircling plumes thy brows inveft, 
 
 Amid whofe fnowy fummits high 
 Inhdious Cupids ambulli’d lie^ 
 
 To each enchanting Grace allied ^ 
 
 Here Fancy bids fair Bouverie glide, 
 
 Light as 'the breath of opening morn 
 O’er beds of unfunn’d violets borne; 
 
 And every captive heart furprife, 
 
 Unconfcious of her victories. 
 
 There Townshend threads the pleafing maze.: 
 Ah who can unenamour’d gaze ! 
 
 How lhall my bofom freedom know 
 Where Law’s ingenuous beauties glow! 
 
 Frefh as the fpring, as Hebe fair, 
 
 Where Egham fends a gentle Pair, 
 
 And bids the charm’d afFe6tions hail 
 The SISTER LILIES of her Vale; 
 
 Whofe bloom difdains fictitious aid, 
 
 Loveheft amid feclufion’s fliade.--^ 
 
ILLUSIONS OF FANCY. 
 
 The meafures ceafe — her tempting ftores 
 Around prolific Fancy pours ; 
 
 The fumptuous board, extended wide, 
 
 Her vifionary viands hide : 
 
 Beauty and youth the banquet fhare--- 
 Hence to the winds intrufive Care! 
 
 Fly, haggard Spleen, the glad abode 
 Where holds his flate the Rofy God ! 
 Where Cytherea, hand in hand. 
 
 The Graces leads, a blifsful band; 
 
 Where Comus to his feftive rites, 
 
 To joy and genial cheer, invites; 
 
 Where Frolic, Sport, and Jollity, 
 
 Await their queen, Euphrofyne; 
 
 And Love, around her hovering. 
 
 Beats the light air with fapphire wing; 
 With luftre llied from Beauty’s eyes 
 Gilds his gay veft of thoufand dyes,. 
 Whofe undulating folds difpenfe 
 Callia’s ambrofial redolence. 
 
 I 
 
i6 
 
 ILLUSIONS OF FANCY. 
 
 Crown’d with each lovely charmer’s name, 
 
 I fee the ruddy necStar flame ! 
 
 Latent amid th’ infpiring draught 
 Speeds the blind God his fubtle fliaft; 
 
 And, while the flalk his votary drains, 
 Defpotic in his bofom reigns; 
 
 Whence, for the Nymph his foul admires, 
 Th’ involuntary figh expires, 
 
 And languor fteais through every vein. 
 
 Now to the fprightly dance again ! 
 
 Wing’d with delight and melody, 
 
 Swift let the jocund moments fly. 
 
 Startling the fombrous reign of Night; 
 ’Till, heav’n’s blue arch afcending bright, 
 Aurora the wide welkin ftreaks 
 With rofes, fuch as Chloe’s cheeks 
 Amid encircling fnows reveal. 
 
 When her foft palms love’s prefllire feel. 
 Till Sol his fteeds of golden hoof 
 Drives through revolving fpheres aloof; 
 
ILLUSIONS OF FANCY. 
 
 17 
 
 And wakes the blooms that odours breathe, 
 Enliv’ning earth and air beneath; 
 
 And o’er old Ocean’s boundlefs deeps 
 His regal robe of glory fweeps. 
 
 Then home they hie, and, warm with wine, 
 Still, as they prefs the couch fupine, 
 
 See fairy -vhions round them float, 
 
 Lift the foft lyre’s imperfedf note, 
 
 Exhauft th’ imaginary vafe. 
 
 Fair forms in faultering meafures chafe, 
 
 Catch from bright eyes the melting beam, 
 And of Ideal Tranfports dream. 
 
 O Fancy ! bleft- Enchant refs, deign 
 Still to prolong thy blifsful reign! 
 Frequent to footh my languid fenfe, 
 
 Thy vifionary balm difpenfe! 
 
 Inveft in varying colours bright 
 Each grateful fcene of paft delight ! 
 
 D 
 
i8 
 
 ILLUSIONS OF FANCY. 
 
 Sweet dalliance let me hold with Thee, 
 Eftrang’d from sad reality! 
 
 O deign to cheer my humble cell! 
 Thence grave Parochial Cares expel: 
 Shield me from Swathed Infants’ fcream, 
 And clouds of fuffocating fleam 
 That from the Gofhp’s bowl exhale, 
 Mix’d with Tobacco’s potent gale! . 
 From Undertakers’ gloomy brows, 
 
 From Overfeers’ important hows, 
 
 From ruthlefs Sexton’s lethal face. 
 
 And Beadles briflled o’er with lace ! 
 Shield me from puritanic cant 
 Of faded Maids, who matins haunt 
 And, lowering o’er each lonely pew. 
 
 At once their fins and wrinkles rue! 
 
 My trembling ears, O Fancy, fave 
 From Sternhold’s inharmonious flave ! 
 
ILLUSIONS OF FANCY. 
 
 19 
 
 From the fad Brief’s iinpitied tale, 
 
 From Expofition trite and ftale, 
 
 And many an opiate Inference ! 
 
 Shield me from founds at flrife with fenfe ! 
 From Pedantry of formal port, 
 
 And Confequence in CalToc diort! — 
 
 So, Goddefs, thy propitious fmile. 
 Shall Time’s ungenial flight beguile; 
 Wake into joy my torpid hours. 
 
 And flrew life’s barren path with flow’rs. 
 Nor fliall the kindred Mufe decline 
 To blend her fimple blooms with thine ; 
 Bleft, if the wreath by Fancy wove 
 Kind Friendfhip’s partial voice approve ; 
 Nor ligh for unfubflantial bays 
 If Wyatt’s plaudit crown her lays. 
 
AMATORY ODES. 
 
I 
 
 
 
ODE I. 
 
 Let the fons of Lucre pine 
 For glittering, heaps of golden ore, 
 
 To fwell th’ accumulated fhore 
 Contemn the terrors of the mine; 
 
 Explore the caverns dark and drear 
 Mantled around with deadly dew ; 
 
 Where congregated vapours blue, 
 
 Fir’d by the taper glimmering near. 
 
 Bid dire explolion the deep realms invade. 
 
 And earth-born light’nings gleam athwart th’ infernal fliade. 
 
 Pride, on thy vefture’s purple fold 
 Let the Iky - tindured fapphire blaze. 
 The emerald Ihed its milder ravs. 
 And rubies blufli in circling gold : 
 
24 
 
 AMATORY ODES. 
 
 ‘ Low at thy nod let fuppliants bow, 
 
 And crefted chiefs precedence yield ; 
 
 Thy hand the rod of empire wield, 
 
 And wreaths of triumph grace thy brow. — 
 A nobler aim let my ambition own. 
 
 Be Love my empire, Lesbia’s heart my throne! 
 
 Where into rage the wintry blaft 
 Awakes old Ocean’s briny wave 
 Let Commerce urge her bufy have; 
 
 And elevate his trembling maft 
 . Above the billowy precipice. 
 
 To meet the forked light’ning’s flafli; 
 
 Then down th’ advent’rous veffel dafli, 
 Found’ring within the black abyfs : 
 
 Or let his freight fecure the furges fweep, 
 
 And of their prey defraud the monfters of the deep 
 
ODE I. 
 
 25 
 
 My bark the tide of young defire, 
 
 O Venus, to thy happy realm 
 
 Shall waft, fair Hope direct the helm, 
 
 Love’s fighs the fwelling fails infpire: 
 
 To Thee, bright Offspring of the wave, 
 
 I’ll many an amorous vow prefer : 
 
 From ftorms of hate thy mariner 
 And blaft of chill indiff’rence fave! 
 
 So to thy pow’r I’ll frame the votive lay. 
 
 And moor’d in Lesbia’s arms confefs thy fov’reign fway. 
 
 Amid enfanguin’d fields of War, 
 Valour, be thy Votary found; 
 
 Where crimfon banners wave around 
 The martial clarion, echoing far; 
 
 In vain gigantic Terror calls 
 His fpedtre fliapes, a ghaftly band: — 
 Nor Difcord, hurhng high his brand, 
 Nor Danger’s horrid front appals; 
 
 E 
 
26 
 
 AMATORY ODES. 
 
 Nor Death his fierce unconquer’d foul can tame, 
 Or from his grafp withhold the glorious meed of Fame. 
 
 But let me wander far away 
 
 From the loud drum and neighing fiieed, 
 
 Thro’ many a panfie- painted mead, 
 
 Where Ifis’ bright - hair’d Naiads flray ; 
 
 High o’er my head a pendant bow’r 
 Let the broad elm and branching pine 
 With intermingling umbrage twine; 
 
 There Love’s impalfion’d fong I’ll pour. 
 
 And fummon every wave that dances near. 
 Bridling his wanton fpeed, my Lesbia’s praife to hear. 
 
 Where the pale lamp’s waining eye 
 At eve, from out the cloyfler’d nook 
 Calls over the gloom a lingering look, 
 There let the Sage his labours ply; 
 
27 
 
 ODE I. 
 
 And many a feat of Champion bold, 
 
 And many a legendary rhime. 
 
 Snatch from the Sepulchre of Time; 
 
 And frequent, as the night grows old, 
 
 At fear- engender’d forms recoil aghalf, 
 
 And hear unhallow’d ghoifs wail in each hollow blaft. 
 
 But o’er my haunts with influence bland 
 Let ev’ning fling her welcome fliade: 
 
 Then mid the dance, O beauteous maid! 
 
 Let me thine un-relu6lant hand 
 
 Enraptur’d feize : or let the Lyre, 
 
 Obedient to thy foft control, 
 
 Bind in harmonious chains my foul. 
 
 And ecftafy and blifs infpire ; 
 
 While to the charmed ear in heav’nly flrains. 
 Enamour’d of thy touch, each trembling chord complains. 
 
 s 
 
28 
 
 AMATORY ODES. 
 
 Then, Falreft, let my bofom feel 
 Thy fmile’s exhilarating pow’r, 
 
 Grateful as, mid noon’s fultry hour. 
 
 The Grot where trickling dews congeal: 
 And, in the rich grape’s purple tide 
 When Joy and genial Pleafure fwim. 
 
 Do Thou but kifs its chryftal brim, 
 
 And, to thy bard the goblet guide; 
 
 So fhall my fong exalt thy praife above 
 Hebe, who bids o’erflow the necSlar’d cup of Jove. 
 
ODE II. 
 
 Now hath the Sun his evanefcent fires 
 Quench’d in the billows of the weftern main; 
 
 Ceafe their foft carols all the feather’d choirs, 
 And gloomy folitude ufurps the plain. 
 
 Rife, ye deep fhades, ye waves in darknefs roll. 
 Ye feather’d choirs to filence yield the grove. 
 For Lesbia fleeps: — nor cheers my penlive foul 
 The glance of rapture, nor the voice of love. 
 
 Ye Winds, whofe havoc -fpreading pinions ply 
 Their furious fpeed, and with dire yell invade 
 This nether world, whofe wafteful tyranny 
 Pale Dryads mourn in many a ruin’d fhade ; 
 
30 
 
 AMATORY ODES. 
 
 Wake not my Love: — Let not your thund’ring cry 
 With dread alarm the haunt of peace infefl; 
 
 Here breathe in foft TLolian melody 
 
 Each cadence fweet that charms the foul to reft. 
 
 Ye Specftres (whom belated pilgrims fear, 
 
 Iffuing in throngs from charnel, vault, or tomb. 
 What time deep -fliado wing clouds thy radiant fphere, 
 Cynthia, involve in night’s meridian gloom,) 
 
 Hence to deferted fane or mouldering hall. 
 Or the gaunt felon’s ruthlefs courfe control; 
 With monitory fliriek the wretch appal, 
 
 And to compundtion wake his torpid foul. 
 
ODE II. 
 
 31 
 
 But walk not near the couch where Lesbia lies 
 Like fome rich pearl in its enamell’d fliell, 
 
 Or fainted relic, from profaner eyes 
 Secluded in the dim fhrine’s lilver cell. 
 
 Wanton, ye Fairies, round her tranquil bow’r, 
 
 With blifsful elves fantaftic meafures tread; 
 
 O’er her foft eyelids dews of opiate pow*’r. 
 
 Cull’d from choice blooms, in fhow’rs of fragrance fhed : 
 
 Let your bright tapers’ vilionary ray 
 The raven -tindlur’d robe of Night illume; 
 
 And, ftreaming o’er your fpangled crefts, difplay 
 The wave - enamour’d halcyon’s emerald plume. 
 
 And bid your Minftrel-Fays, a lhadowy choir, 
 That charm the planets from their fpheres fublime. 
 
32 
 
 AMATORY ODES. 
 
 Celeflial fongs, that love and joy infpire, 
 
 Chant to their golden harp’s harmonious chime. 
 
 And, when morn’s purple ftreaks th’ horizon {lain, 
 And Fairies fly the peal of Chanticleer, 
 
 Let Fancy flill your glittering hues retain, 
 
 Still let your wild notes tremble on her ear. 
 
 Then, Lesbia, wake thy beauties, frefher far 
 Than Galatea boafted when flie lav’d 
 In the fmooth Deep her coral -axled car. 
 
 And the ftern heart of Neptune’s fon enflav’d. 
 
 Wake at His Call, to footh whofe foul in vain 
 Morn flieds her radiant beam, her od’rous airs. 
 Save when, attentive to his artlefs ftrain. 
 
 That radiant beam, thofe odours Lesbia fhafes. 
 
ODE II. 
 
 33 
 
 He afks no laureate wreath to deck his brows, 
 No golden meed his bounded willies claim, 
 
 Blell if the Obje(5l of his tenderell vows . 
 Smile on his lay — for Lesbia’s fmile is Fame. 
 
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ODE III. 
 
 Fate gave with unrelenting fpeed to fly 
 The genial hours that Love and Lesbia blefs’d; 
 Sad, on her ear I pour’d the parting flgh, 
 
 Sad, on her hand the parting kifs imprefs’d. 
 
 Nor Lesbia, generous maid, her hand withdrew,. 
 Nor did her ear difdain the parting flgh; 
 
 Swift to her cheek the living crimfon flew, 
 
 Soft pity flU’d her bread: and fympathy. 
 
 There all the gentle Charities reflde 
 With liberal Sentiment and chafte Deflre, 
 And banifh cold Referve and ruthlefs Pride, 
 That bid Affection’s trembling flame expire. 
 
3 ^ 
 
 AMATORY ODES. 
 
 “ Farewell the Bard,” — llie cried — “ whofe grateful Mufe 
 “ Bade many a vocal fliade my name refound: 
 
 “ And, rich in Fancy’s vifionary hues, 
 
 I — 
 
 “ With many a fairy wreath my treffes bound: 
 
 “ Still on thofe artlefs wreaths fliall Lesbia fmile, 
 
 “ Still fliall her partial voice applaud thy lay, 
 
 “ Bid unexpected joy thy cares beguile, 
 
 “ And Hope’s pure radiance gild each riling day.” 
 
 Ah! far from Love, from Lesbia, doom’d to fly, 
 
 V 
 
 Cheerlefs and fad I trace life’s gloomy fcene, 
 
 And faintly Hope’s far diltant ray defcry. 
 
 While clouds and darknefs fill the void between! 
 
 
ODE III. 
 
 37 
 
 The feaman thus the Beacon’s friendly fires 
 Dejeded views, while the black billows fwell, 
 And from the haven that his foul defires 
 Remorfelefs winds his labouring bark repel. 
 
 What lenitive can eafe the bofom’s pain, 
 
 What charm the fever of the mind remove? 
 
 Can Solitude, can Silence, break the chain 
 That’s forg’d by friendfiiip, fympathy, and love? 
 
 Then let me fliun the Day-flar’s glittering beam 
 And feek in folitary glens repofe : 
 
 O’er the rufli’d margin of fome lingering ilream, 
 Where the broad oak his grateful umbrage throws. 
 
 Or thro’ fome Cloyfter’s dim receffes rove^ 
 
 O’er hollow founding vaults and cells of death; 
 
AMATORY ODES. 
 
 38 
 
 To all the foft anxieties of love 
 Infenlible as thofe that fleep beneath. 
 
 Deluhve hope! — Say, where the folitude 
 That to intmhve Love accefs denies? 
 
 Say, where the hallow’d haunt whofe glooms exclude 
 Lesbia’s enchanting form from Fancy’s eyes? — 
 
 Then bid the flood that fwells the wanton vine 
 O’erflow the lucid vafe with rofes crown’d; 
 Prepare the feaft — and let the God of wine 
 Bathe with his purple balm my amorous wmind! 
 
 Let the ripe clufter’s animating tide 
 Peiwade wdth genial flow my languid frame, 
 
 ■V. 
 
 Till Paflion’s fad folicitudes fubflde, 
 
 Till fades, aU pow’rful Love, thy fatal flame. 
 
ODE III. 
 
 39 
 
 Ah! midft the Sons of Revelry in vain 
 Thy captive, Lesbia, ftruggles to be free! 
 
 God of the grape, thy goblets while I drain, 
 Still fways my bread; Love’s mightier Deity ! — 
 
 Let Harmony from her enchanting fliell 
 Pour the fweet Note that fooths afflidtion’s ligh: 
 Now the full chord’s deep modulation fwell, 
 Now wake the joy-infpiring fymphony; 
 
 Such as refounding from thy golden firings, 
 Divine Alcaeus, charm’d Hell’s fliadowy throng; 
 While combatants renown’d and vanquifh’d kings 
 Fir’d the bold drains of thine immortal fong. s 
 
40 
 
 AMATORY ODES. 
 
 Say, could the voice of melody fubdue 
 The pangs that tortur’d Ghofts were doom’d to bear, 
 And lull to ftrange repofe the Serpent -crew 
 That hifs, AlecSlo, in thine iron hair ? 
 
 Then let the cares that rend a Lover’s breaft 
 
 The magic of that voice rehiflefs prove. 
 
 Still* breathes th’ enamour’d Bard his fond requeft 
 In vain — for Muhc is the food of Love. 
 
 In each wild fong that wakes the vale around 
 My Fair- one’s fafcinating voice I hear; 
 
 And Fancy bids the foft lute’s filver found 
 Waft her mild accents to my ravifli’d ear. 
 
 Sweet the wild fong that wakes the valley, — Sweet 
 Warbles the foft lute’s melancholy note: 
 
ODE III. 
 
 41 
 
 But founds with richer melody replete 
 
 From Lesbia’s lips on gales of fragrance float. 
 
 Not Muflc, Wine, nor Solitude, can quell 
 The tumults that this bleeding bofom knows. 
 Then viflt, God of Sleep, my penflve cell. 
 And to my foul reflore its lofl repofe ! 
 
 Aufpicious to my pray’r the gloomy God 
 Bids the deep fliadows of the Night arife ; 
 
 O’er my lone couch extends his fable rod. 
 
 And feals with opiate charm his fuppliant’s eyes. 
 
 Ah! w^hence That Virgin Bloom, on night’s dun pall 
 Whofe glance with pity’s mild effulgence beams? 
 
 Fair Sov’reign of my foul, at Fancy’s call, 
 
 ’Tis Lesbia comes to blefs her Poet’s dreams ! 
 
 G 
 
42 
 
 AMATORY ODES. 
 
 (Dazzling the Phrygian Boy’s enraptur’d light 
 Not Venus ’felf with charms that ri vail’d thine, 
 ’Mid the broad fhades of Ida’s piny height 
 To beauty’s meed preferr’d her claim divine!) 
 
 She beckons me thro’ Fairy glades to ftray. 
 
 O’er fands of gold where liquid chryftal roves ; 
 Where drinks unclouded Summer’s genial ray 
 Incenfe exhal’d from aromatic Groves : 
 
 Where, o’er each fhadowy dell and oak -crown’d fleep, 
 Celeftial forms in bright fuccellion glide ; 
 
 Where light-train’d Nymphs th’ unbending bloffoms fweep, 
 Or rife in radiance from the tranquil tide : 
 
ODE III. 
 
 43 
 
 Where, Lesbia, as I raife the fong to Thee, 
 The lift’ning Fauns their antic dance refrain, 
 And dulcet founds of airy minftrelfy 
 From harps unfeen accompany the flrain. 
 
 And while th’ impaffion’d lay thy praifes breathes 
 Each ruder gale fublides, th’ expanding flow’rs 
 More lavifli fsveets difpenfe, and living wreaths 
 Of brighter green array the magic bow’rs. 
 
 And Love, light hovering in the balmy air, 
 
 Fires his proud torch and nerves his golden bow, 
 And braids his rofeate bands for Thee, my Fair, 
 And bids thy breaft his gentleft tranfports know. 
 
 Thine eyes confefs his pow’r: — Stay warning Night! 
 Start not, Hyperion, from thine orient goal! 
 
 V 
 
44 
 
 AMATORY ODES. 
 
 Ye blisful dreams, ye viiions of delight, 
 Ye dear deiubons, ftill poffefs my foul ! 
 
 Diffolving at th’ unwelcome gleam of dawn. 
 
 The Spell that fway’d my captive fenfe expires. 
 
 No liquid chryftal laves the fairy lawn; 
 
 No viewlefs Minftrels wake celeftial lyres ; 
 
 No fpicy groves unfading foliage fpread; 
 
 Beneath their nectarine freight no branches bend; 
 No Sylvan bands fantaftic meafures tread ; 
 
 No pearl “ crown’d Sifters from the wave afcend. 
 
 The laughing meads where flow’rs fpontaneous grew% 
 The landfcape’s various grace, the genial Ikies, 
 
 In cloudlefs azure drefs’d, elude my view; 
 
 And glowing Fancy’s fair creation dies. 
 
ODE III. 
 
 45 
 
 But thou, bleft Obje6l of my hopes and fears, 
 Still fliall the Mufe’s living meed be thine. 
 
 While Grace enchants, while Gentlenefs endears, 
 While admiration bends at Beauty’s flirine: 
 
 Deep grav’n by Love thine image ne’er fliall fade 
 ' While Memory in my bread: maintains her feat ; 
 And when for Thee it beats not. Lovely Maid ! 
 Each trembling pulfe of life fliall ceafe to beat. 
 
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ODE IV. 
 
 TO lesbia’s lute. 
 
 Ye trembling firings, from whofe vibration flows 
 Joy’s thrilling tide and fadly pleafing woe : 
 
 Soothing the fenfe, yet to the foul’s repofe 
 Deflrudlive as the Nerve of Cupid’s Bow! 
 
 / 
 
 With gentlefl melody in Lesbia’s ear 
 (If any mortal founds have pow’r to tell) 
 
 Whifper how much I hope — how much I fear 
 
 The pity I implore — the pains I feel. 
 
 When her fleet touch calls forth th’ enlivening flrain 
 Bid rapture float upon the charmed air: 
 
 Tell her, when fad th’ expreflive notes complain : 
 
 “ So breathes thy bard the figh of deep defpair.” 
 
48 
 
 AMATORY ODES. 
 
 Of yore fuch founds, as thrill th’ enamour’d breaft 
 When Lesbia’s hands the hlver chords embrace, 
 Could lull th’ embattled elements to reft. 
 
 Bend knotted oaks, and tame a ruthlefs race ; 
 
 Yet, Lesbia! like thy lute tho’ Orpheus ftrung 
 His lyre to ftrains divine, its amorous lord 
 For Thee had left Euridice unfung. 
 
 And Pluto’s gloomy confines unexplor’d. 
 
ODE V 
 
 TO THE NAIAD OF GLYMPTON BROOK. 
 
 Naiad, unfeen of mortal eyes, 
 
 Whofe light fteps haunt this current lone, 
 
 Where gentle Zephyr’s balmy hghs, 
 
 With thy wild wave in unifon. 
 
 Blend their aerial melodies; 
 
 Let me to thy deferted fliades 
 Reveal the never-dying flamxC 
 That all my penlive foul pervades. 
 And teach thine echoes Lesbia’s name 
 E’er the foft light of evening fades ! 
 
 Unheard, unnotic’d, let me rove 
 Thy trembling oiler wreaths among, 
 
 H 
 
 i 
 
50 
 
 AMATORY ODES. 
 
 And woo the Mufe where none reprove 
 Affection’s unambitious fong, 
 
 Nor chide the plaint of hopelefs love» 
 
 There, when the Day’s dim eyelids clofe, 
 Hide me within fome fliadowy cave; 
 And, minift’ring to calm repofe. 
 
 Oh foftly bid thy babbling wave 
 
 Kifs the dank fedge that round it grows! 
 
 / 
 
 No Angler’s cruel arts are mine. 
 
 Ye timid Tenants of the brook! 
 
 Wrought by my hand no viewlefs line, 
 Difguis’d by me no treacherous hook, 
 Bids you your little lives refign. 
 
ODE V. 
 
 51 
 
 Nor this pellucid rill refrain 
 To Up, Ye Minftrels of the air! 
 
 Your downy plumage to diftain 
 With blood no fatal Tube I bear, 
 
 Nor pay with death your artlefs llrain. 
 
 That Breaft no favage fports can fliare, 
 Where glow Affedlion’s generous fires: 
 
 Soft Pity finds her manfion there, 
 
 All whom the breath of life infpires 
 By her own forrows taught to fpare. 
 
 Mine, Gentle Naiad, be the dell 
 Whofe clear ftream laves thy chryftal grot: 
 Near its green margin let me dwell. 
 
 By all but One dear Maid forgot. 
 
 And bid a world of cares farewell. 
 
52 
 
 AMATORY ODES. 
 
 Oft let me view thy trembling tide 
 Chequer’d with Cynthia’s ftlver light, 
 What time, in Fancy’s train defcried, 
 Before my fafcinated light 
 Pali Joy’s illulive phantoms glide. 
 
 Hopelefs of happier hours to come. 
 No more array’d in flattering hues 
 For me the buds of Pleafure bloom : 
 Yet deigns, at Fancy’s call, the Mufe 
 To gild Afflidlion’s deepening gloom. 
 
 With Lesbia’s praife the ft rain lliall glow; 
 Oh may fhe tafte each blifs fupreme 
 That Hope can paint, or Love bellow ; 
 
 And calm as Glym’s fequefter’d ftream 
 May her life’s gentle current flow! 
 
ODE V. 
 
 Wind, Lovely Brook, thy murmuring way 
 Still with my forrows fympathize: 
 
 So may thy banks frelh flow’rs inlay. 
 
 Thy waves in rich redundance rife, 
 
 Ivlild Zephyrs on thy hofom play ! 
 
 If Zephyr fliould his breath deny, 
 My hghs fliall fan thy flowery beds; 
 If parching winds thy channel dry. 
 The tears defponding Paflion flieds 
 Shall its exhaufted ftream fupply. 
 
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 ELEGY. 
 
 WRITTEN AT SEA. 
 
 On Sapphire throne, o’er Heav’n’s unnumber’d fires, 
 The Moon in full -orb’d majefly prefides; 
 
 Calm are the feas, a favouring breeze tranfpires, 
 And thro’ the waves the vefiel fmoothly glides: 
 
 Beyond th’ horizon’s bound the mind extends, 
 
 To the fought fliores where Hope delufive leads: 
 Sooth’d by the fcene her tortures grief fufpends, 
 For abfent kindred, friends, and native meads. 
 
 Till Sympathy from brooding Memory’s {lores 
 Culls thorns, and plants them in the bleeding bread; 
 Sunk into gloom the mind no more explores 
 Hope’s future dawn, and pants in vain for reil. 
 
5<5 
 
 ELEGY. 
 
 What tho’ the feas are calm, the ilcies ferene, 
 
 Thus anguifli di61:ates the defponding ftrain: 
 
 “ To friendfliip fear prefents a gloomier fcene, 
 
 “ The whirlwind’s fury and tempefluous main. 
 
 “ Even now perhaps from many a kindred eye 
 “ My dubious fate compels the trickling tear, 
 
 “ And ev’ry palling cloud that veils the iky 
 “ Chills fome fond anxious breaft with boding fear. 
 
 “ In my Love’s bofom deeper forrows roll, 
 
 “ Frantic with dread fhe iighs, implores, ihe raves; 
 
 “ Whilft Horror paints me, to her fickening foul, 
 Dafli’d on a rock, or whelm’d beneath the weaves.” 
 
ELEGY. 
 
 57 
 
 Father of Heav’n, whofe power controls the ftorms, 
 O let thy mercy hear a wanderer’s pray’r ! 
 
 Check the wild fears connubial fondnefs forms, 
 
 And fave the tender Mourner from defpair. 
 
 For Me, what e’er thy fov’reign will fhall doom, 
 
 Still give me faith to bear that lot rehgn’d: 
 
 That Faith which, fmilingj courts the dreary tomb, 
 And, Heav’n -afpiring, fooths th’ afllided mind. 
 

PHILEMON, 
 
 AN ELEGY. 
 
 w HERE fliade yon yevv^s the Churchy archs lonely bourn^ 
 With faultering ftep, abforb’d in thought profound, 
 Philemon wends in folitude to mourn, 
 
 While Evening pours her deep’ning- glooms around. 
 
 Loud flirieks the blaff, the fleety torrent drives, 
 Wide fpreads the tempell’s defolating power; 
 
 To grief alone Philemon recklefs lives. 
 
 No rolling peal he heeds, cold blaft or fliower. 
 
 For This the Date that flampt his Emma’s doom, 
 In his fond arms fhe breath’d her life’s lafl ligh: 
 
 “ Say, will my Love e’er feek his Emma’s tomb ?” 
 She cried, then clos’d in death each willful eye. 
 
6o 
 
 PHILEMON, AN ELEGY. 
 
 No fighs he breath’d, for anguifh riv’d his breaft, 
 
 Her clay- cold hand he grafp’d, no tears he fired, 
 
 \ 
 
 ’Till fainting Nature funk by grief opprefs’d. 
 
 And ere Diifra^lion came, all fenfe was fled. 
 
 t 
 
 Now Time has calm’d, not cur’d Philemon’s woe 
 For grief like his, life -woven never dies; 
 
 And ftill each year’s coUedted forrows flow, 
 
 As drooping o’er his Emma’s tomb he flghs. 
 
LATIN IMITATION OF STANZAS, 
 
 EXTRACTED FROM GAY’s FABLE OF 
 
 THE POET AND THE ROSE. 
 
 * 
 
ORIGINAL. 
 
 Go Rose, my Chloe’s bofom grace! 
 How happy fliould I prove, 
 
 Might I fupply that envied place 
 With never fading love! 
 
 There, Phoenix like, beneath her eye, 
 Involv’d in fragrance, burn and diet 
 
 Know, haplefs Flow’r, that thou flialt find 
 More fragrant rofes there: 
 
 I fee thy with’ring head reclin’d 
 With envy and defpair! 
 
 One common fate we both mufi: prove; 
 You die with Envy, I with Love, 
 

 IDEM LATINE REDDITUM. 
 
 I, Rosa, clelicix floram, properare memento 
 Qua niveo invitat pe6tore pulchra Chloe! 
 O, mihi fi liceat tali requiefcere nido, 
 
 Quam vellem veftro nuncius ire loco ! 
 
 Sic, O lie poiitum, rari Phcenicis ad inftar, 
 Fragranti extindlum morte perire juvat! 
 
 At, Flos infelix, caveasi formoRus ardet, 
 
 Dulce magis redolet, candidus ifte Rnus: 
 Vincendi Nympham fpem fmflra pafeis inanem, 
 En folia arefeunt, ecce recline caput ! 
 
 Et Flos et Dominus fato moriuntur eodem, 
 
 Te Flamma Invidke, Me meus urit Amor. 
 
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 WHITSUNTIDE. 
 
 WRITTEN AT WINCHESTER COLLEGE ON THE IMMEDIATE 
 
 APPROACH OF THE HOLIDAYS. 
 
 Hence, Thou Fur- clad Winter, fly; 
 
 Sire of fliivering poverty ! 
 
 Who, as thou creep’ll: with chilblains lame 
 To the croM'ded charcoal flame. 
 
 With chattering teeth and ague cold. 
 Scarce thy fliaking fldes canft hold 
 Whillt Thou draw’fl: the deep cough out : 
 God of Foot -ball’s noify rout. 
 
 Tumult loud and hoifl’rous play. 
 
 The dangerous Aide, the fnow-ball fray. 
 
 But come. Thou genial Son of Spring, 
 Whitsuntide, and with thee bring 
 
 K 
 
 I 
 
WHITSUNTIDE* 
 
 Cricket, nimble boy and light, 
 
 In flippers red and drawers white. 
 Who o’er the nicely- meafur’d land 
 Ranges around his comely band. 
 Alert to intercept each blow. 
 
 Each motion of the wary Foe. 
 
 Or patient take thy quiet ftand. 
 The Angle trembling in thy hand, 
 And mark, with penetrative eye. 
 Killing the wave, the frequent fly; 
 Where the trout with eager fpring 
 Forms the many- circled ring. 
 
 And, leaping from the fllver tide. 
 Turns to the fun his fpeckled flde. 
 
 Or lead where Health, a Naiad fair 
 With rofy cheek and dropping hair. 
 
WHITSUNTIDE. 
 
 67 
 
 From the fultry noon -tide beam, 
 
 Dives in Itch in’s cryftal ftream. 
 
 Thy Votaries, rang’d in order due, 
 Tomorrow’s wiili’d-for Dawn Iliall view 
 Greeting the radiant Star of Light 
 With Matin Hymn and early Rite: 
 
 E’en now, thefe hallow’d haunts among. 
 To Thee we raife the Choral Song; 
 
 And fwell with echoing minftrelfy 
 The {train of joy and liberty. 
 
 If pleafures fuch as thefe aw'ait 
 Thy genial reign, with heart elate 
 For Thee I throw my gown afide. 
 And hail thy coming, Whitsuntide. 
 

 
 
 
 
 
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I 
 
 CHRISTMAS. 
 
 Hence, Summer, indolently laid 
 To deep beneath the cooling diade ! 
 Panting quick with fultry heat, 
 Third and faint Fatigue retreat! 
 
 Come, Christmas, father Thou of mirth, 
 Patron of the fedive hearth. 
 
 Around whofe focial ev’ning dame 
 The jovial fong, the winter game. 
 
 The chafe renew’d in merry talc. 
 
 The feafon’s carols never fail. 
 
 Who, tho’ the Winter chill the fkies, 
 
 Cand catch the glow of exercife. 
 
 Following fwift the foot -ball’s courfe; 
 
 Or with unrefided force. 
 
70 
 
 CHRISTMAS. 
 
 
 Where Frofl arrefts the harden’d tide, 
 Shooting ’crofs the rapid hide. 
 
 Who, e’er the mifty morn is grey, 
 
 To fome high covert hark’ft away; 
 
 While Sport, on lofty courfer borne. 
 
 In concert winds his echoing horn 
 With the deeply- thiind’ring hounds, 
 Whofe clangour wild, and joyful founds. 
 While Echo fwells the doubling cry. 
 Shake the woods with harmony. 
 
 How does my eager bofom glow 
 To give the well-known Tally-ho! 
 
 Or fliew, with cap inverted, where 
 Stole away the cautious hare. 
 
 Or, if the blaft of Winter keen 
 Sj)angles o’er the lilvery green. 
 
 Booted high thou lov’ft to tread 
 Marking, thro’ the fedgy mead. 
 
 Where the creeping moor- hen lies. 
 
 Or fnipes with hidden twitt’ring rife. 
 
CHRISTMAS. 
 
 71 
 
 Or joy ’ft the early walk to take 
 Where, thro’ the pheafant - haunted brake 
 Oft as the well -aim’d gun refounds, 
 
 The eager- dafliing fpaniel bounds. 
 
 For thee of Buck my breeches tight, 
 Clanging whip, and rowels bright. 
 
 The hunter’s cap my brows to guard. 
 And fuit of fportive green’s prepar’d : 
 For, ftnce thefe delights are thine, 
 Christmas, with thy bands I join. 
 
ifc/ 
 
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 FREE IMITATION 
 
 O F 
 
 A LATIN ODE, 
 
 BY WALTER DE MAPES, 
 
 ARCHDEACON OF OXFORD IN THE ELEVENTH CENTURY. 
 
 L 
 
CANTILENA. 
 
 Ml HI eft propofttum in taberna mori, 
 Vinum ftt appolitum morentis ori, 
 
 Ut clicant, cum venerint Angelomm chori: 
 Deus ftt propitius huic Potatori!” 
 
 Poculis accenditur animi Incerna; 
 
 Cor imbutnm Nedtare volat ad fuperna; 
 
 Mihi fapit dulcius vinum in taberna 
 Quam quod aqua mifcuit praefulis Pincerna. 
 
 Suum cuique proprium dat Natura munus, 
 Ego nunquam potui fcribere jejunus: 
 
 Me jejunum vincere poflet puer unus, 
 Sitim et jejunium odi tanquam funus. 
 
FREE IMITATION. 
 
 I’ll in a tavern end my days ’midfl boon companions merry, 
 Place at my lips a lufty flafk replete with fparkling llierry, 
 That angels hov’ring round may cry, when I lie dead as door-nail : 
 “ Rife, genial Deacon, rife and drink of the Well of Life Eternal.” 
 
 ’Tis Wine the fading lamp of life renews with fire celeftial. 
 And elevates the raptur’d fenfe above this globe terreftrial ; 
 
 Be mine the grape’s pure juice unmix’d with any bafe ingredient. 
 Water to heretics I leave, found churchmen have no need on’t. 
 
 Various implements belong to ev’ry occupation ; 
 
 Give me an haunch of venifon, — and a fig for infpiration ! 
 Verfes and odes without good cheer I never could indite ’em, 
 Sure he who Meager Days devis’d is d — d ad infinitum ! 
 
76 
 
 CANTILENA. 
 
 Tales verfus facio quale vinum bibo, 
 Non pofflim fcribere nib fumpto cibo ; 
 Nihil valet penitus quod jejunus fcribo, 
 Nafonem poll calices facile praeibo. 
 
 Mihi nunquam fpiritus prophetiae datur 
 Nib cum fuerit venter bene fatur; 
 
 Cum in arce cerebri Bacchus dominatur 
 In me Phoebus irruit ac miranda fatur. 
 
FREE IMITATION. 
 
 77 
 
 When I exhauft the bowl profound and gen’rous liquor fw allow, 
 Bright as the beverage I imbibe the gen’rous numbers follow; 
 Your fneaking water-drinkers all, I utterly condemn ’em, 
 
 t 
 
 He that would write like Homer mult drink like Agamemnon. 
 
 Myfteries and prophetic truths, 1 never could unfold ’em 
 Without a flagon of good wine and a dice of cold ham; 
 
 But when I’ve drain’d my liquor out, and eat what’s in the difh up, 
 Tho’ I am but an Arch - deacon, I can preach like an Archbifliop. 
 
 
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SONG. 
 
 To Chloe kind and Chloe fair, 
 With fparkling eye and flowing hair, 
 
 Tune the harp, and raife the fong; 
 Such as to Beauty doth belong! 
 
 Let the ftrain be fweet and clear; 
 Such as through the liflening ear. 
 
 In well - according harmony, 
 
 May with the ’tranced foul agree ! 
 
 She is Pleafure’s blooming Queen: 
 In the Morn more frefh her mien. 
 When awaken’d from repofe. 
 
 Than the fummer’s dewy rofe : 
 
 In the Ev’ning brighter far 
 Than the ocean -bathed flar. 
 
8o 
 
 SONG. 
 
 And when Night the friend of Love 
 Bids the Blent hour improve, 
 
 To the ravifli’d fenfes She 
 Gives joy, and blifs, and ecftafy. 
 
% 
 
 THE 
 
 , RENOWNED HISTORY 
 
 AND 
 
 RARE A C H I E y E M E N r S 
 
 JOHN 
 
 * * » 
 
 S 
 
 
 \ 
 
 AN HEROICK BALLAD. 
 
 DicERE RES GRANDES nostro dat musa poet-e. 
 
 PERSIUS, SAT. I 
 
 
 M 
 
HEROICK BALLAD. 
 
 Full often I have read, infcrib’d 
 On parchment and on vellum, 
 
 The deeds of Ancient Heroes, and 
 The chances that befell ’em ; 
 
 And ballads I have heard rehears’d 
 By harmoniffcs itinerant. 
 
 Who Modern Worthies celebrate. 
 
 Yet fcarcely make a dinner on’t: 
 
 Some of whom fprang from noble race. 
 And fome were in pigftye born; 
 Dependent upon Royal grace. 
 
 Or triple tree of Tyburn. 
 
 And fundry Gallants yet unfung,. 
 
 Who fcarcely have their fellows, 
 Amendments move in Parliament, 
 
 # 
 
 Or live by mending bellows : 
 
M 
 
 84 HEROICK BALLAD. 
 
 But, of all who were or will be fung 
 In folemn Have or ditty. 
 
 There’s none caiTvie with Johnny W s, 
 
 The C n of the City. 
 
 CHORUS. 
 
 John W s he was for M x. 
 
 They chofe him Knight of the Shire ; 
 And he mkle a Fool of Alderman B — , 
 And call’d Parfon H a Lyar- 
 
 Homer, for provender and fame 
 When he was blind and penny lefs, 
 Defcanted of the Spartan Dame, 
 
 Who a cuckold made of Menelaus : 
 
 His Heroes’ founding names you’ve heard, 
 Whofe blood or brains were fpill’d in 
 Troy’s liege, as long as Nellor’s beard 
 Which rooks their nefts did build in. 
 
HEROICK BALLAD. 
 
 S5 
 
 Virgil T^lneas fiing, of yore 
 Approv’d a valiant foldier, 
 
 Thro’ daughter, fmoke, and dame, he bore 
 His Dad upon his dioulder: 
 
 (Elfe had fome fwaggering Grecian Boy 
 Soon made a hole in his Ikin, 
 
 And fpitted him in burning Troy 
 To road like a pork grilkin.) 
 
 ^neas, hence, for piety 
 Was fam’d, or folks belie him ; 
 
 Yet Helenus was as good as he, 
 
 And Chaplain to King Priam. 
 
 But why the merits do I vaunt 
 Of chaplain or of layman? 
 
 John W s is brave as John of Gaunt, 
 
 Religious as a Bramin : 
 
 Where wit or weapon came in play 
 Nothing for John was too hard; 
 
 He wrote againd the King all day. 
 
 And at night he fought his Steward, i 
 
HEROICK BALLAD. 
 
 Eke was he Friar of Medenham, 
 And liv’d in orthodoxy ; 
 
 For, when he could not pray himfelf, 
 The Monkey was his Proxy. 
 
 CHORUS. 
 
 John W s he was for M 
 
 Old Shy lock, the Jew- broker. 
 
 Was both covetous and cruel; 
 
 He hoarded up his ducats, and 
 He dined on watergruel ; 
 
 And, when Anthonio could not pay 
 The monies he had borrow’d. 
 
 He pulled out his Snicker- fnee 
 With imprecations horrid: 
 
 “ Thy bond is forfeited,” he cried, 
 
 “ The Penalty, I aik. it; 
 
 “ Ay, and a pound of Chriftian flefli 
 “ I’ll cut from thy bread -bafket.” 
 
HEROICK BALLAD. 
 
 But, when poor Sylva John befought 
 That he would but name his Pay-day, 
 
 John fwore that he had no fuch word 
 
 \ 
 
 In his Encylopedia: 
 
 Whereat this patient Ifraelite 
 He waxed wondrous ire: 
 
 But lo! John chous’d him of his bond, 
 
 And he burnt it in the fire. 
 
 CHORUS. 
 
 John W s he was for M x, 8cc. 
 
 Fair Hannah Snell her farthingale 
 
 t 
 
 Pull’d off and, under cover 
 Of breeches and a foldier’s coat, 
 
 Purfued her abfent lover : 
 
 Her bodkin, to a pike transform’d, 
 
 She brandifli’d • in her right hand, 
 
 And Frenchmen’s fouls thro’ eyelet holes 
 r their carcafes fhe frighten’d: 
 
 / 
 

 HEROICK BALLAD. 
 
 This female Mufqucteer her foes 
 As flat as flounders laid ’em ; 
 
 Powder and ball ferv’d her inflead 
 Of powder and pomatum. 
 
 Paris, for love of Helena, 
 
 Kindled a fierce comhuflion ; 
 
 Confum’d in flames the town of Troy, 
 And Priam’s breeches fuftian. 
 
 And great Alcides, fon of Jove, 
 
 Maugre his flrength and valour, 
 
 For love of beauteous Omphale 
 Became a woman’s taylor: 
 
 He, who th’ Augean flables cleans’d, 
 
 A kerchief hemm’d to pleafe her : 
 Antxus once he fqueez’d to death. 
 
 But now became mop-fqueezer : 
 
 Yet all this he endur’d for Love, 
 
 And eke bore many an hard drub : 
 
 But for Love of Parfon H ’s lac’d coat 
 
 John — ftole away his wardrobe. 
 
HEROICK BALLAD. 
 
 89 
 
 CHORUS. 
 
 John W s he was for M x, See. 
 
 Mahomet, marching at the head 
 Of his vi6lorions rabble. 
 
 His apoltolic miffion prov’d 
 With fvvord irrefragable; 
 
 A Heaven of wine and women preach’d. 
 
 To make men more devout; 
 
 And if he could not turn their brains 
 His Saracens beat ’em out : 
 
 Gabriel took Mahomet to heav’n 
 And did a Mule provide him; 
 
 And thus John W s to Brentford rode 
 
 With Parfon H helide him: 
 
 There ’mongfh the men of Middlefex 
 Renown and fame he got him, 
 
 And chofen was to mend the Rate, 
 
 Becaufe ’twas old and rotten ; 
 
 N 
 
90 
 
 HEROICK BALLAD. 
 
 And Ch n was after made 
 
 For ’s juft and righteous dealings; 
 
 They wifely trufted to his charge 
 All their half-crowns and fhillings. 
 
 Then a fig for Mecca’s Saint, a fig 
 For Tartar, Turk, or Saracen; 
 
 Our Ch n that rafcal-race 
 
 Excels beyond comparifbn: 
 
 Their Founder was an arrant cheat; 
 
 John W s is no impoftor: 
 
 He cares no more for the Alcoran 
 Than for the Pater Nofter. 
 
 CHORUS. 
 
 John W s he was for M — x^ Bee. 
 
 Renown’d in ancient ftory was 
 St. George, the Capadocian, 
 
 Whofe fpear, like Turkey- rhubarb, fet 
 The Dragon’s guts in motion. 
 
HEROICK BALLAD. 
 
 91 
 
 Achilles Hedlor did alTail, 
 
 Transfix’d him with his javelin, 
 
 Then dragg’d him at' his horfe’s tail 
 Round every Trojan ravelin. 
 
 Ryance his mantle lined with beards 
 Of kings, inflead of ermine ; k 
 And Arthur’s royal chin to fliave 
 With’s broadfword did determine; 
 
 But Arthur quell’d the Welfliman’s boaft. 
 
 He kill’d him dead as door- nail. 
 
 And fent him down his cheefe to toaft 
 At Pluto’s fire infernal. 
 
 Intrepid Guy of Warwick to 
 A giant gave defiance ; 
 
 Cut off his head and made him an 
 Example to all giants: 
 
 A fierce Dun Cow came in his way. 
 
 And on the head he knock’d her; 
 
 But valorous John W s, he cow’d 
 
 Sir William B p Pr r. 
 
HEROICK BALLAD. 
 
 CHORUS. 
 
 John W s he was for M x, &:c. 
 
 Your Oifrich, he will fwaliow brafs,' 
 
 And iron he loves dearly : 
 
 He’ll pick up a jieck of tenpenny nailS' 
 As cocks and hens do barley. 
 
 Powell, as fome folks take fmall beer 
 To cool ’em when they have drank hard, 
 Steep’d in his brandy caplicum, 
 
 Like burrage in cold - tankard : 
 
 And redhot coals, inftead of rolls. 
 
 Ate for his breakfaft duly, 
 
 Burnt brimflone, gunpowder, and pitch 
 To him were foup and bouillie: 
 Sky-rockets, ’head of faufages. 
 
 Ran hilling down his weafen ; 
 
 Wafli’d down with aqua-fortis ftrong, 
 
 To keep his guts from freezing. 
 
HEROICK BALLAD. 
 
 93 
 
 The Dragon of Wantley churches ate, 
 
 (He us’d to come on a Sunday) 
 
 Whole congregations were to him 
 A didi of Salmagundi: 
 
 He gave no quarter, no not he, 
 
 To clergymen or laymen: 
 
 Crack’d ev’n the Sexton’s jobberknowl, 
 
 And fpoil’d him for faying Amen: 
 
 He pouch’d the Prebendaries all, 
 
 Who ne’er gave him an ill word; 
 
 Snapp’d up the Dean, as fnug in his flail 
 As a maggot in a filbert. 
 
 The Corporation worfliipful 
 He valued not an ace, 
 
 But fwallow’d the Mayor, afleep in his chair, 
 And pick’d his teeth with the Mace. 
 
 He brows’d on monumental brafs 
 Fix’d in the walls o’ th’ cloyfters ; 
 
 And fhoals of bawling chorifters 
 He ate, like fcallop’d oyflers. 
 
94 
 
 HEROICK BALLAD. 
 
 He qiiarrell’d with the fteeple clock 
 And ate him while he was ftriking ; 
 Bellropes he mnnch’d for chitterlings, 
 
 Tho’ they wer’n’t fo much to his liking : 
 Tombftones and monuments he took 
 For pills to cool his palate ; 
 
 And cropt the church yard yew-trees all — 
 They ferv’d him for a fallad. 
 
 The organ that fo loud did roar 
 Devour’d he in his frolick; 
 
 And batten’d on the bellows -blower, 
 
 For he fear’d not the wind -colick. 
 
 To fcape his facrilegious maw 
 This Dragon he gave none chance, 
 
 But fwallow’d the knave that fet the flave. 
 And felt no qualm of confcience: 
 
 Parfons were his black- puddings, and 
 Fat Aldermen his capons; 
 
 And his tid-bit the Colledlion Plate 
 Brimful of Birmingham halfpence. 
 
HEROICK BALLAt). 
 
 Clerks, Curates, Re6lors, Bifhops ate 
 This Dragon moft uncivil; 
 
 And (but he never comes to church) 
 
 He would have ate the D — 1. 
 
 But the Men of Aylefbury efteem 
 
 John W s a greater rarity: 
 
 They made Him Truftee for their School, 
 And He fwallow’d up the Charity. 
 
 CHORUS. 
 
 JohnW s he was for M x. 
 
 They chofe him Knight of the Shire: 
 And he made a Fool of Alderman B — 
 And call’d Parfon H a Liar. 
 

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1 ^ •>' 
 
 SONG 
 
 ON THE BREAKING OF THE WATER-HEAD, NEAR 
 
 WINDSOR GREAT PARK, 
 
 COMMONLY CALLED, THE POND-HEAD. 
 
 W HEN \vas employ’d to conftmdl the Pond Head, 
 
 As he ponder’d the talk, to himfelf thus he faid: 
 
 “ Since a head I mufh make, M^hat’s a head but a noddle ? 
 
 “ So I think I had heft take My for a model.” 
 
 Derry douTi, See. 
 
 Then his work our Projector began out of hand. 
 
 The outhde he conflru6led with rubbiili and fand. 
 
 But brains on this Head had been quite thrown away, 
 
 % 
 
 V 
 
 Thofe he kept for himfelf, fo he lined it with clay. 
 
 \ 
 
 o 
 
98 ON THE BREAKING OF THE WATER HEAD, 
 
 An head thus compadled and well put together 
 Bade defiance he thought both to water and weather, 
 With profound admiration mufl flrike all beholders, 
 And furpafs ev’ry head except that on his flioulders. 
 
 The fam’d Friar Bacon he ’counted an afs, 
 
 / 
 
 Tho’ the head that He made was a blockhead of brafs ; 
 And he little fufpedted it e’er fhould be faid, 
 
 That himfelf all this while was not right in his head. 
 
 But the water at length, to his utter difmay, 
 
 A Bankruptcy made, and his head ran away ; 
 
 ’Twas a thick head for certain ; but, had it been thicker. 
 No head can endure that is always in liquor. 
 
 It was owing no doubt to fome Capital error. 
 
 That one Broken Head ftruck the country with terrbr ; 
 
A SONG. 
 
 99 
 
 And ’twas well for the folks whom this deluge furrounded 
 That, born to be bang’d, there were none of them drowned. 
 
 Tramp’s Mill in the Bottom was never fupplied, 
 Since firft it went round, with fo plenteous a tide ; 
 Yet the Miller he whli’d that our head -maker’s Ikill 
 Lefs water had fent and more grift to his mill. 
 
 Our Projector, in truth, left him little to brag on 
 When his meal-facks march’d off without horfes or waggon; 
 And to refcue himfelf he muff fain ftir his flumps : 
 
 Such an odd trick was i3lay’d on this Miller of Trump’s ! 
 
 Yet - full as ill as the Miller has fped, 
 
 And atones for his fault with the lofs of his Head ; 
 
 Tho’ fome folks will tell you, (believe ’em who lift) 
 Long ago had he loll it, ’t would ne’er have been mifs’d. 
 
100 ON THE BREAKING OF THE WATER HEAD, 8CC., 
 
 Now, although I muft own ’tis a difficult cafe 
 In difcuffing this head to preferve a grave face. 
 
 More compaffion its Maker may challenge than fatire. 
 Since ’tis plain that he can’t keep his head above water. 
 
 This at leaf! may be urg’d in his favour I deem ; 
 
 His is not the firft head which has gone with the ftream : 
 And — as for his Honour — ’tis fafe you may fwear, 
 Since Butler has told us That lodges elfewhere.^ 
 
 Hence, by way of a Moral, the fallacy’s fhewn 
 Of the maxim that Two Heads are better than One : 
 For none e’er was fo fcurvily dealt with before. 
 
 By the Head that he made and the Head that he wore. 
 
 Derry down, 8cc. 
 
OF WICKHAM, 
 
 SONG, 
 
 \ 
 
 WILLIAM 
 
 A 
 
 FOR THE WICCAMICAL ANNIVERSARY, HELD AT THE 
 CROWN AND ANCHOR TAVERN. 
 
 1 SING not your heroes of ancient romance: 
 
 Capadocian George, or Saint Denis of France; 
 
 No chronicler 1 am 
 Of Troy and King Priam, 
 
 And thofe crafty old Greeks who to fritters did fry ’em: 
 But your voices. Brave Boys, one and all I befpeak ’em, 
 In due celebration of William of Wickham. 
 
 CHORUS. 
 
 Let Wickham’s Brave Boys, at the Crown and the Anchor, 
 The Balk never quit ’till clean out they have drank her; 
 And united maintain, whether fober or mellow, 
 
 That old Billy Wickham was a Very Fine Fellow. 
 
T02 
 
 WILLIAM OF WICKHAM, 
 
 The fwain who in amorous fervitude glories 
 
 O 
 
 Swears that Love builds his neft in the eyebrow of Cliloris, 
 While drafts from the quiver 
 Of that Urchin Deceiver, 
 
 Like the quills of a porcupine, ftick in his liver: 
 
 But at Wickham’s Brave Boys flrould he brandifh his dart 
 We’ll drown the Blind Rogue in a Wincheiler Quart. 
 
 CHORUS. 
 
 For Wickham’s Brave Boys, See. 
 
 Let fomenters of fierce Oppolition exclaim 
 That our rulers are blind and our politics lame ; 
 
 While their foie aim and wifh is, 
 
 With loaves and with fiflies 
 From the Treafury Board to replenifh their difhes : 
 How fuch Orators fare, my Boys, who cares a button. 
 While We have good Claret and Winchefter Mutton ! 
 
 CHORUS. 
 
 For Wickham’s Brave Boys, 8cc. 
 
A SONG. 
 
 103 
 
 Let the Soldier, who prates about ftorming the trenches 
 Of fortified towns, and of fair-vifag’d wenches, 
 
 My numbers give heed to. 
 
 And, drinking as we do. 
 
 Shut up in its fcabbard his martial Toledo: 
 
 For we too filed blood, yet all danger efcape. 
 
 Since the blood that we fired is the blood of the Grape. 
 
 CHORUS. 
 
 Let Wickham’s Brave Boys, See. 
 
 Let Lawyers, accuftom’d to quarrel and brawl. 
 
 Play the devil as ufual in Wefiminfter Hall; 
 
 Reputations befpatter, 
 
 Yet thrive and grow fatter. 
 
 While they dafii W rong and Right up as cookmaids do Batter 
 Here good fellowfiiip reigns and, what’s ftranger by far, 
 No mifehief enfues from a Call to the Bar. 
 
 \ 
 
 CHORUS. 
 
 Let Wickham’s Brave Boys, &c. 
 
104 WILLIAM OF WICKHAM, 8CC. 
 
 The Empiric profound, who in heathenilli Latin 
 Such potions prefcribes as might poifon old Satan, 
 
 With blifler and bolus 
 And draught would cajole us, 
 
 ’Till fnug under ground he has clapt in a hole us: 
 
 But the wife Sons of Wickham his regimen flight. 
 They fwallow no draughts but of Red Wine and White. 
 
 CHORUS. 
 
 Let Wickham’s Brave Boys, See. 
 
 Ye Poetical Tribe, on Parnafllis who forage. 
 
 Who prate of Jove’s Ne6lar and Helicon -porridge, 
 
 Yet, for beef-fteaks and brandy, 
 
 Set each Jack-a-dandy 
 
 On a level with Frederick, or Prince Ferdinandy : 
 
 What’s the fword of King Arthur or Admiral Hofler 
 To William of Wickham and his Jolly Old Crofler ! 
 
 CHORUS. 
 
 Let Wickham’s Brave Boys at the Crown and the Anchor, See. 
 
THE BARBER’S NUPTIALS. 
 
 QUI FACERE ASSE^ERAT 
 
 CANDIDA DE NIGRIS. OVID MET. 
 
 In Liquorpond Street, as is well known to many, 
 
 An artift redded who lliav’d for a penny, 
 
 Cut hair for three halfpence, for three pence he bled. 
 And would draw for a groat ev’ry tooth in your head. 
 
 What annoy’d other folks never fpoil’d his repofe, 
 
 ’Twas the fame thing to him whether docks fell or rofe, 
 For blaft and for mildew he car’d not a pin ; 
 
 His Crops never fail’d, for they grew on the Chin. 
 
 Unvex’d by the cares that ambition and date has, 
 Contented he dined on his daily potatoes ; 
 
 p 
 
I06 THE barber’s NUPTIALS. 
 
 And the pence that he earn’d by excihon of briflle 
 
 « 
 
 Were nightly devoted to whetting his whiftle. 
 
 When copper ran low he made light of the matter, 
 Drank his purl upon tick at the Old Pewter Platter, ™ 
 Read the News, and as deep in the Secret appear’d 
 As if he had lather’d the Minifter’s beard. 
 
 But Cupid, who trims men of every Ration, 
 
 And ’twixt barbers and beaux makes no difcrimination 
 Would not let this fuperlative Shaver alone, 
 
 ’Till he tried if his heart .was as hard as his hone. 
 
 The Fair One, whofe charms did the Barber enthral, 
 At the end of Fleet Market of Fifli kept a ftalh 
 'As red as her cheek no boil’d lobfter was feen, 
 
 Not an eel that fhe fold w^as as foft as her Ikin. 
 
THE barber’s nuptials. 
 
 107 
 
 By love ftrange efFedls have been wrought, we are told, 
 In all countries and climates, hot, temperate, and cold ; 
 Thus the heart of our Barber love fcorch’d to a coal, 
 Tho’ ’tis very well known he liv’d under the Pole. 
 
 Firft, he courted his charmer in forrowful fafliion, 
 And lied, like a lawyer, to move her companion : 
 
 He fliould perifli, he fwore, did his fuit not fucceed, 
 And a Barber to flay was a barbarous deed. 
 
 Then he alter’d his tone and w'as heard to declare, 
 
 If valour deferv’d the regard of the Fair, 
 
 That his courage was tried, tho’ he fcorn’d to difclofe 
 How many brave fellows he’d took by the nofe. , 
 
 For his politics too, they were thoroughly known, 
 A patriot he was to the very back bone ; 
 
THE barber’s nuptials. 
 
 'io8 
 
 Wilkes he gratis had lhav’d, for the good of the nation, 
 And he held the WHioCLUBin profound veneration. 
 
 For his tenets religious, he well could expound 
 Emanuel Sweedenbourg’s myft’ries profound, 
 
 And new dodlrines could broach with the heft of ’em all, 
 For a perriwig- maker ne’er wanted a Caul. 
 
 Thus this Knight of the Bafon confounded together 
 Courage, politics, love, infpiration, and lather : 
 
 But his hard-hearted miftrefs, £he fet him at nought; 
 No gudgeon was fhe, nor fo eahly caught. 
 
 Indignant fhe anfwer’d: “ No chin-fcraping fot 
 “ Shall be fatten’d to me by the conjugal knot, 
 
 “ No! — to Tyburn repair, if a noofe you mutt tie, 
 Other fifh I have got, Mr. Tonfor, to fry. 
 
THE barber’s nuptials. I09 
 
 ^ Holborn- bridge and Black Friars my triumphs can tell, 
 
 “ From Bilingfgate Beauties I’ve long borne the bell: 
 
 ‘‘ Nay, tripemen and fiflimongers vie for my favour — 
 
 “ Then d’ye think I’ll take up with a Twopenny Shaver? 
 
 “ Let dory, or turbot, the fov’reign of fifli, 
 
 “ Cheek by jowl with red herring be ferv’d in one difli ; 
 
 “ Let Burgeon and fprats in one pickle unite, 
 
 “ When I angle for hufbands and Barbers fliall bite.” 
 
 But the Barber perfifled (Ah, could I relate ’em!) 
 
 To ply her with compliments foft as pomatum ; 
 
 And took ev’ry occalion to flatter and praife her. 
 
 Till file fancied his wit was as keen as his razor. 
 
 He protefled befides, if fhe’d grant his petition. 
 She fhould live like a lady of rank and condition ; 
 
fio 
 
 THE barber’s nuptials. 
 
 And to Bilingfgate market no longer repair, 
 
 But himfelf all her bus’nefs would do to a hair. 
 
 Her fmiles, he alTerted, would melt even rocks, 
 
 Nay the fire of her eyes would confume barbers’ blocks, 
 On infenfible obje61;s beftow animation. 
 
 And give to old perriwigs regeneration. 
 
 With fair fpeeches cajol’d, as you’d tickle a trout, 
 
 ’Gainfl the Barber the Fifliwife no more could hold out ; 
 
 He applied the right bait, and with flattery he caught her; 
 Without flattery a female ’s a fifh out of water. 
 
 The flate of her heart when the Barber once giiefs’d 
 Love’s fiege with redoubled exertion he prefs’d ; 
 
 And as brifkly beftirr’d him, the charmer embracing. 
 
 As the wafliball that dances and froths in his bafon. 
 
THE barber’s nuptials. 
 
 Ill 
 
 The flame to allay that their bofoms did fo burn, 
 
 They fet out for the church of St. Andrew in Holborn, 
 Where tonfors and trulls, country Dicks and their coufins, 
 In the halter of wedlock are tied up by dozens. 
 
 The Nuptials to grace came from every quarter 
 The worthies at Rag Fair old caxons who barter, 
 Who the coverings of judges and counfellors’ nobs 
 Cut down into majors, queues, fcratches, and bobs. 
 
 Mufciemongers and oyftermen, crimps, and coalheavers. 
 And butchers with marrowbones fmiting their cleavers ; 
 Shrimpfcalders and bugkillers, taylors and tylers. 
 
 Boys, botchers, bawds, bailiffs, and blackpudding -boilers. 
 
 From their voices united fuch melody flow’d 
 
 As the Abbey ne’er witnefs’d, nor Tott’nham Court Road: 
 
iia 
 
 THE barber’s nuptials. 
 
 While Saint Andrew’s brave bells did fo loud and fo clear ring. 
 You’d have given ten pounds to ’ve been out of their hearing. 
 
 For his fee — when the Parfon this couple had join’d, ‘ 
 As no cafli was forth -coming, he took it in kind: 
 
 So the Bridegroom difmantled his Rev’rence’s chin, 
 And the Bride entertain’d him with pilchards and gin. 
 

 THE CLIMAX* 
 
 Before I came to London 
 I us’d to fip Tea with my Mother, 
 
 And I thought it a treat 
 If Small- BEER I could get 
 To drink with my Elder Brother. 
 
 Tol-de-rol, See. 
 
 But my Father condemn’d this practice, 
 
 He hedlor’d and fwore like mad — Sir: 
 
 Says he, “ Give him Ale, 
 
 “For that will never fail 
 “To make him as ftout as his Dad — Sir.” 
 
 CL 
 
THE CLIMAX. 
 
 1 14 
 
 Soon after, our Ned the Butler 
 Took me down to tafte fome October 
 Cried he, “ Never fear 
 “ To drink Strong- beer, 
 
 “ But fwallow it, drunk or fober. 
 
 But when I arriv’d in London 
 Of Porter I drank my pot — Sir, 
 
 A pipe did I funk. 
 
 And fo oft got drunk 
 That my Sifter call’d me a Sot — Sir. 
 
 From Beer to Wine I afcended 
 By a feries of juft gradation : 
 
 ^Till my friends would me jog 
 With — “ There’s a jolly Dog 
 Soon lhall tope with the heft of the nation.’* 
 
THE CLIMAX. 
 
 ”5 
 
 With a Blood then I got acquainted, 
 
 Who ftrait prov’d wond’rous handy: 
 
 For he taught me to fwear 
 Like a Grenadier; 
 
 And always drink Rum or Brandy. 
 
 t 
 
 Thus I to Drams betook me, 
 
 And Wine I drank no longer : 
 
 Sometimes I threw in 
 Gunpowder to my Gin, 
 
 To make the potion ftronger. 
 
 But, confidering all things earthly, 
 
 That the fpan of Life fo Ihort is: — 
 Whate’er you may think, 
 
 I ilill lhall drink 
 Till I come to Aqua-fortis. 
 
 Tol-de-roU, 
 
 
A MORSEL FOR A MUSSULMAN: 
 
 A REVELATION OF THE FUTURE STATE OF 
 
 DECEASED FEMALES, 
 
 IN REFUTATION OF THE SUPPOSED MAHOMETAN DOC- 
 TRINE, ASSERTING THAT WOMEN HAVE NO SOULS, 
 AND ARE EXCLUDED FROM PARADISE. 
 
 — — NON ME IMPIA NAMQUE 
 TARTARA HABENT TRISTESl^E UMBRA! : SED AMAINA — 
 CONCILIA ELYSIUMQUE COLO. 
 
 viRG. a:n. l. 5. 
 
 From the bleft realms where Paradife difplays 
 Her empyrean fplendour’s ceafelefs blaze. 
 
 And bids her groves of vegetable gold 
 To genial gales immortal blooms unfold; 
 
 From nedtar’d llreams where Houris, heavenly- fair. 
 Bathe the bright trelTes of their odorous hair. 
 
A MORSEL, &C. 
 
 II7 
 
 To Zeyneib, lovelieft of the paflive train 
 That ’midft the Haram’s hated glooms complain, 
 Alzira’s happy Shade appearing, heals 
 A paufe from blifs, and thus her hate reveals: 
 
 Say to the tyrant Man, whofe pride denies 
 ^ Thy fex a Soul, and bars them from the ikies, 
 That when the date of female worth expires. 
 
 And iickening Nature yields her lateft fires, 
 When beams no more the iuftre of the eye, 
 
 “ And death o’er beauty hails his vidlory, 
 
 “ To life by Fate recall’d, the Sex affume 
 “ Celeflial charms, and never- fading bloom ; 
 
 ‘‘ In rofeate bowers recline, or blifsful rove 
 “ Thro’ fcenes of boundlefs joy and rapturous love ; 
 “ That there, fo Heaven ordains, a blooming band 
 ‘‘ Of Youths, obfequious to each Fair’s command, 
 
 “ Attentive waits, and, as her fancy wills, 
 
 “ Each tafk of duty or of love fulfills.— 
 
w 
 
 Il8 A MORSEL, See. 
 
 “ Then to the peremptory Tyrant fay. 
 
 Who hopes this lot in Heaven mufl Here obey, 
 “ Bow to fiiperior worth, to fenfe refin’d, 
 
 “ Blefs the benignant fway of Womankind, 
 
 “ Hail the fair Fabrick of an Hand Divine, 
 
 “ And own the Soul that animates the Shrine. 
 
 “ Or, driven for ever from the realms above, 
 
 ‘‘ His Soul in vain fliall pant for Heavenly Love.’* 
 
THE PARADOX: 
 
 O R 
 
 NED FRIGHTENED OUT OF HIS WITS. 
 
 Empty the flafk, difcharg’d the fcore, 
 Ned ftagger’d from the tavern door, 
 
 And, falling in his drunken fits, 
 
 Crippled his Nofe and loft his Wits; 
 
 But, from the kennel foon emerging, 
 
 His nofe repairs by help of furgeon: 
 That done, the Leech peeps in his brain 
 To find his wits, — but peeps in vain. 
 
 “ ’Tis hard,” the Patient cries, “ to lofe 
 “ Wits not a whit the worfe for ufe; 
 
 ‘‘ Wits which I always laid aftde 
 “ For great occafions, cut and dried;” 
 (’Tho’ here the cafe was falfely put : 
 
 His Wits were dried, Himfelf was Cut.) 
 
 “ Wits like the Continental Aloe, 
 
 ‘‘ That for a century lies fallow; 
 
120 
 
 THE PARADOX. 
 
 “ Wits never prodigally wafted; 
 
 “ Like choice conferves, but rarely tafted: 
 
 “ Wits hufbanded, not fpent at random ; 
 
 “ Cork’d up like cordials for my Grandam : 
 
 “ Wits, which, if all your wealth could buy — Sir, 
 “ You would not be a jot the wifer.” 
 
 Tho’ plain appear’d in ev’ry face 
 A fellow-feeling of his cafe, 
 
 Yet ftill, to ftiew Their Wits were found. 
 
 His Boon Companions throng around, 
 
 And fagely, one and all, accoft him : 
 
 “Zounds, Ned, I wonder how you loft ’emP 
 
 Ah! let them drink their Port in peace, 
 
 For miracles will never ceafe! 
 
 And, if Ned’s loss of wits aftound ’em, 
 
 Zounds,-— how they’ll wonder when he’s found ’em! 
 
ADDRESS 
 
 OF AN INDIAN GIRL TO AN ADDER. 
 
 WRITTEN IN TFIE YEAR 174O. 
 
 BY AN EMINENT LITERARY CHARACTER, THEN A SCHOLAR 
 
 OF WINCHESTER COLLEGE. 
 
 Stay, flay, thou lovely fearful Snake! 
 Nor hide thee in yon darkfome brake; 
 But let me oft thy form review. 
 
 Thy fparkling eyes, and golden hue: 
 From thence a chaplet fliall be wove 
 To grace the youth I deareh love. 
 
 Then, ages hence, when Thou no more 
 Shalt glide along the funny fliore. 
 
 Thy copied beauties fliall be feen ; 
 
 Thy vermeil red and living green 
 In mimic folds thou flialt difplay: 
 
 Stay, lovely, fearful Adder, Hay! 
 
 R 
 
EPITAPHIUM SUSANNAE SERLE^ 
 
 IN ECCLESIA DE TESTWOOD, IN COMITATU HANT .* 
 
 CoNjux charaVale! — Tibi, Maritiis, 
 
 Hoc pono memori maim fepiilchrum: 
 
 At .quales lacrymas Tibi rependam, 
 
 Dum trifti recolo, Sufanna, corde 
 Quam conftans, animo neque impotente, 
 Tardi fufliileras acuta lethi, 
 
 Me fpe6lans placidis fupremum ocellis ! — 
 Quod li pro mentis vel Ipfe flerem, 
 
 Quo fletu tua Te relidla Proles, 
 
 Proles parviila, rite profequetur 
 Cuftodem, fociam, ducem, parentem ! 
 
 At quorsiim lachrymae? — Valeto, rarce 
 Exemplum pietatis, O Sufanna! 
 
LINES 
 
 ON THE LATE AMERICAN WAR. 
 
 WRITTEN IN THE YEAR I778. 
 
 L^pon a trelTel Pig was laid, 
 
 And a fad fquealing fure It made ; 
 
 Kill-pig Hood by with knife and Reel: 
 
 “ Lie quiet, can’t you? — Why d’ye fqueal? 
 
 “ Have I not fed you with my Peafe, 
 
 “ And NOW, for trill les fuch as thefe, 
 
 “ Will you rebel? — Brimful of vidlual, 
 
 ‘‘ Won’t you be kill’d and cur’d a little?” 
 
 To whom thus Piggy in reply: 
 
 “ Think’R thou that I fliall quiet lie, 
 
 ‘‘ And that for Pease my Life I’ll baiter?” — 
 “ Then Piggy, you mull fliew your Charter; 
 ‘‘ Shew You ’re exempted more than Others, 
 
 “ Elfe go to pot like all your brothers. — 
 
124 
 
 LINES ON THE LATE AMERICAN WAR. 
 
 \ 
 
 [Pig struggles. 
 
 “ Help, Neighbours! help! — this Pig’s fo ftrong, 
 
 “ I think I cannot hold him long. 
 
 “ Help, Neighbours! I can’t keep him under! 
 
 “ Where are ye all.^ — See, by your blunder, 
 
 ‘‘ He ’s burft his cords ! — A brute uncivil, 
 
 “ He ’s gone ! — I’ll after — 
 
 [Exit Pig, and Kill-pig after him with the Knife, dec. 
 CHORUS OF NEIGHBOURS. 
 
 To the Devil ! 
 
 EXTEMPORE 
 
 ON A SNARLING AGENT OF LORD A 
 
 WHITEHAM, NEAR OXFORD. 
 
 
 AT 
 
 I am his Lordfhip’s Dog at Whiteham, 
 And whom he bids me bite, I bite ’em. 
 
EPIGRAM MATA. 
 
 IN SOMNIS VIDERAT EIERMOGENEM. 
 
 Reges occidunt verbis, balilifcus ocello, 
 
 Acre defaevit peftis, et ore leo : 
 
 Elbe tamen Medici s propiora negotia Fati 
 Creditur, Umbra eadem eft Mortis et Hermogenis. 
 
 LONGA DIES IGITUR QUID CONTULIT? 
 
 Longa Dies igitur quid contulit, Optime, quaeris? 
 Noctem, ni fallor, contulit ille brevem. 
 
 IN TONSOREM VERSIFIC ANTEM. 
 
 Quid Tibi cum Ph^bo? — non eft Barbatus Apollo. 
 
126 
 
 EPIGRAMMATA. 
 
 EPITAPHIUM JUVENIS QUI PROPTER AMOREM 
 ‘‘ MOLLY stone” MORTEM SIBI CONSCIVIT. 
 
 Molly fiiit Saxum; fi Saxum Molle fuiffet 
 Non foret Hie fubtus, fed fupereffet Earn. 
 
 IN ILLUSTRISSIMAM DOMINAM 
 
 IN AGRO BLENH ’eTrafaxy, 
 
 Salve! Regia Virgo, quae recenti 
 Large noftra rigas vireta rivo ! — 
 
 O, quae tarn bene mingis et benigne, 
 
 Vero nomine di6la Principissa! 
 
EPIGRAMS. 
 
 ON A FAVOURITE DOG, WHO REGULARLY ACCOMPANIED 
 
 HIS MISTRESS TO CHURCH. 
 
 Tis held' by folks of deep refearch, 
 
 He ’s a GOOD Dog who goes to Church : 
 
 As good I hold Him every whit 
 Who ftays at home and turns the Spit. 
 
 For, ’though good Dogs to Church may go, 
 
 Yet going There don’t make them fo. 
 
 While Dick to Combs hoflility proclaims, 
 
 A neighbouring taper fets his hair in flames. — 
 
 The blaze extin6t, permit us to inquire : 
 
 “ Were there no Lives loft, Richard, in this Fire?” 
 
 \ 
 
 
128 
 
 EPIGRAMS. 
 
 IGNOTUM OMNE PRO MAGNIFICO. 
 
 Averfe to pamper’d and high-mettled fteeds, 
 His Own upon chopt Straw Avaro feeds: 
 Bred in His liable, in His paddock born, 
 What vaft ideas They muft have of Corn! 
 
 A CASE OF CONSCIENCE; 
 
 SUBMITTED TO A LATE DIGNITARY OF THE CHURCH, 
 
 O N 
 
 HIS NARCOTICK EXPOSITION OF THE FOLLOWING TEXT 
 
 “ WATCH AND PRAY, LEST YE ENTER INTO TEMPTATION.” 
 
 By our Pastor perplext, 
 
 \ 
 
 How fliall we determine.? — 
 
 “ Watch and Pray,” fays the Text, 
 “ Go to deep,” fays the Sermon. 
 
M O N O D \ 
 
 O N’ 
 
 THE DEATH OF DICK, 
 
 AN ACADEMICAL CAT. 
 
 MIC AT INTER OMNES. 
 
 HOR. LIB. I. ODE 12. 
 
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MONODY 
 
 O N 
 
 THE DEATH OF DICK. 
 
 Ye Rats, in triumph elevate your ears! 
 
 Exult, ye Mice! — for Fate’s abhorred fliears 
 Of Dick’s nine lives have Hit the Catguts nine; 
 Henceforth he mews ’midft choirs of Cats divine ! 
 Tho’ nine fucceffive lives protradl their date, 
 
 E’en Cats themfelves obey the call of Fate; 
 
 Whofe formidable Fiat fets afloat 
 Mortals, and mortal Cats, in Charon’s boat: 
 
 Fate, who Cats, Dogs, and Doctors makes his prize, 
 That grace Great Britain’s Univerfities. 
 
 Where were ye. Nymphs, — when to the filent coaft 
 Of gloomy Acheron Dick travell’d poll? 
 
MONODY ON 
 
 I r>rf 
 
 Where were ye, Miifes, in that deathful hour? — 
 Say, did ye haunt the Literary Bower 
 Where Science fends her Sons in Stockings Blue 
 To barter praife for foup with M 
 Or Point prepare for Anecdote, 
 
 Or Songs infpire, and fit ’em to His Throat? — 
 
 For not on Isis’ claflic fhores ye flray’d, 
 
 Nor brew’d with Cherwell’s wave your lemonade; 
 Nor affignations kept with Grizzled Elves, 
 
 Where Learning fleeps on Bodley’s groaning flielves; 
 Nor, where no poet glows with kindred fire. 
 
 Wept o’er your favourite War ton’s filent Lyre. 
 
 While venal Cats (leagued with degenerate Curs, 
 Of faded Prudes the four-legg’d penfioners) 
 
 On the foft Sofa rang’d in order due. 
 
 For eleemofynary muffin mew, 
 
 Regardlefs of the meed that Fame heftows. 
 
 Their tail a feather for each wind that blows; 
 
THE DEATH OF DICK. 
 
 133 
 
 Thee, generous Dick, the Cat -controlling Powers 
 Ordain’d to moufe in Academic Bowers: 
 
 Bade Thee the facred ftreams of Sapience Up, 
 And in Pierean Cream thy whifkers dip! 
 
 Enflirined celeilial Cateries among. 
 
 The fable Matron, from whofe loins he fprung, 
 Who traced her high defcent through ages dark 
 From Cats that Caterwaul’d in Noah’s Ark, 
 
 Stern, brindled nurfe, with unremitting care. 
 
 To high achievements train’d her Tabby Heir ; 
 
 On Patriot Cats his young attention fix’d. 
 
 And many a cuff with grave infirudlion mix’d ; 
 Taught the great Truth, to half his race unknowTi: 
 “ Cats are not kitten’d for themfelves alone; 
 
 But hold from Heav’n their delegated claws. 
 Guardians of Larders, Liberty, and Laws,” 
 
134 MONODY ON 
 
 “ Let Cats and Catlings of ignoble line 
 ‘‘ Slumber in. bee -hive chairs, in dairies dine; 
 
 “ Shun, Thou, the fliades of Cat -enfeebling Eafe! 
 
 “ Watch o’er the weal of Rhedycinian cheefe; 
 
 “ The melting marble of Collegiate Brawm 
 ‘‘ For Heads of Houfes guard, and Lords in Lawn 
 “ And keep each recreant rat and moufe in awe 
 ‘‘ That dares to drew his nofe in GoLCoxHAd^ 
 
 “ So may the brighteft honours of the Gown 
 “ Thy riper years and aEtive virtue crown ! — 
 
 ‘‘ Say, fliall not Cats, fraught wdth ethereal fire,® ‘ 
 “To feats of letter’d eminence afpire? — 
 
 “ Caligula a conful made his Steed. 
 
 “ What tho’ the bead: could neither WTite nor read 
 “ Yet could he Talents Negative difplay, 
 
 “ And filence 023pofition with his Neigh. 
 
 If Charles of Sweden fwore he would depute, 
 
 “ The fenate to control, his old Jack Boot; 
 
 “ If modern tafte a Learned Pig reveres, 
 
 “ And Pigs unlearn’d keep company with Peers; ^ 
 
/ 
 
 THE DEATH OF DICK. I35 
 
 “ If erfl Rome’s papal crown a Goflip wore^ 
 
 “ Then, Dick, Thou may’lt become Vicech -r. 
 
 “ Might I but live, tho’ crazy, old, and lick, 
 “To fee thee ftalk behind thy Beadles, Dick ! 
 
 “ Behold my brindled boy with confcious pride 
 “ O’er convocated Grizzle -Wigs prelide! 
 
 “ Hear thee, e’er I explore my lateft home, 
 
 “ Confer Degrees in Sheldon’s fpacious Dome!: 
 
 “ See thee in fcarlet robe encafe thy fur, 
 
 “ And at St. Marys’ venerably purr! — 
 
 “ Then let me be tranBated to the Ikies, 
 
 “ And clofe in welcome death thefe goofeb’ry eyes ! 
 
 “ Yet think not. Darling Dick, that Fame allows 
 “ Her glorious palm, unearn’d, to grace thy brows : 
 “ By toil Herculean and profound refearch 
 “ Expedf to thrive in Politicks or Church 1 
 
136 
 
 MONODY ON 
 
 “ The herd who worlliip at Preferment’s flirine 
 “ No fervile talk, no facrifice, decline; 
 
 “ Courtiers for coronets their confcience pawn, 
 Clerks in Prunello creep, then foar in Lawn, 
 
 “ See, with the Ribband grac’d and radiant Star, 
 “ The Chief that waged the Continental War! 
 
 ‘‘ Such palms diminiflr’d realms can yet afford 
 “To patriotic H '•'’s protradfing Sword! 
 
 “ See W s, untrufled with the City Key 
 “ Till he made fools of all the Livery ! 
 
 “ See grov’ling S the wealth of India fliare 
 “ He taught the Hindu Race to feed on air! 
 
 “ Mark the career of Rhedycina’s Bard; — 
 Not fuch His Toil, not fuch His Vafl Reward. 
 “ Glean’d from Antiquity’s exhaufllefs mine, 
 
 “ He bade the gems of Science brighter fliine ; 
 
 “ His care retriev’d each venerable name 
 “ Reft by Oblivion from the rolls of Fame, 
 
THE DEATH OF DICK. 
 
 137 
 
 “ And with new glory crown’d the Strains fublime 
 ‘‘ That echoed from the Harps of elder time. 
 
 ‘‘ ’Twas his, ’midfl: mouldering palms of Chivalry, 
 
 “ To braid the deathlefs blooms of Poefy ; 
 
 “ On learning’s gloom the rays of Tafte to pour, 
 
 “ And gild with genuine Wit the focial hour; 
 
 “ Affedion and applaufe alike he diar’d; 
 
 “ All lov’d the Man, all venerate the Bard: 
 
 “ Ev’n Prejudice his fate affliched hears, 
 
 “ And Letter’d Envy llieds reludant tears.- -- 
 
 « Of genius, tafte, philanthrophy, and fenfe, 
 
 “ Candour, and wit— behold the Recompenfe ! 
 
 “ No Sinecure, no venerable Stall, 
 
 « He fills, o’ercanopied with crimfon pall; 
 
 “ No Choir obfequious waits his dread commands, 
 “ Where fupple Vergers pace with filver wands; 
 “ Where foft reclines in velvet pomp fupreme 
 “ Divinity, entranc’d in mitrous dream: 
 
 T 
 
138 
 
 MONODY ON 
 
 “ No Coin his meed — for claffic fobs unfit — 
 
 “ For, ah! what fellowfliip has Wealth with Wit! 
 
 “ Such worth the Laurel could alone repay, 
 
 “ Profan’d by Cibber, and contemn’d by Gray ; ^ 
 
 “ Yet hence its Wreath fliall new diftindlion claim, 
 
 “ And, tho’ it gave not, take from Warton fame.” 
 
 While glory’s fteep afcent Grimalkin fliews, 
 Dick’s breaft with emulative ardour glows; 
 
 His emerald eyes with richer radiance roll. 
 
 And All The Cat awakens in his foul. 
 
 Within the tender velvet of his paw 
 
 Tho’ yet unbloodied lurks each virgin claw ; 
 
 Anticipated palms his hope defcries. 
 
 And conquefts gain’d o’er vifionary mice : 
 
 Tho’ much for Milk, more for Renown he mews, 
 And nobler objecfts than his Tail purfues. 
 
THE DEATH OF DICK. 
 
 O, could I call the Mufes from the fpheres 
 To ling the triumphs of his riper years ! 
 
 What ifrife the larder’s confcious flielves beheld ! 
 What congregated rats his valour quelfd! 
 
 What mice defcended, at each direful blow, 
 
 To nibble hrimltone in the realms below ! — 
 
 The Vichor, who his foes in furious mood 
 * Hurl’d from the Granic to the Stygian flood; 
 Churchill, whofe bounty fainting Frenchmen gave 
 Soup -meagre gratis in the Danube’s wave; 
 Heathfield, wdiofe red-hot vengeance Spain defied, 
 Blift’ring, like Spanifli flies. Old Neptune’s hide; 
 Who plung’d his enemies, a whifker’d group. 
 
 In green waves twice as hot as green peas foup, 
 While Fate on Calpe’s fummit fat and fmil’d 
 To fee the dingy Dons like lobflers boil’d. 
 
 Or by the light’ning of th’ exploded flieli 
 Difpatch’d to feek a cooler birth in Hell — 
 
 All Heroes, bloody, brave, or politic. 
 
 All, all flaould yield preeminence to Dick: 
 
140 
 
 MONODY ON 
 
 And everlafting laurels, thick as hops, 
 
 Wreath their bright foliage round his brindled chops. 
 
 Myfterious Powers, who rule the deftinies 
 Of conquerors and kings, of cats and mice, 
 
 Why did your will the Pylian Chief decree 
 Three centuries unfpecSIacled to fee. 
 
 Yet fummon from his patriot toils away 
 Illuftrious Dick, before his beard was grey? 
 
 Of valour, fenfe, or fkill, how vain the boaft ! — 
 Dick feeks the fliades, an undiftinguifli’d Ghoft, 
 And turns his tail on this terrelfrial ball, 
 Difmifs’d without Mandamus Medical; 
 
 Sent, without purge or Catapotium, 
 
 In prime of Cat -hood to the Catacomb ; 
 
 No Doctor fee’d, no regimen advis’d, 
 
 Unpill’d, unpoultic’d, unphlehotomiz’d ! 
 
THE DEATH OF DICK. 
 
 Ye fage Divines, if fo concife our fpan, 
 
 Who for preferment would turn Cat in pan? 
 
 Since Clergymen and Cats one fate betides, 
 
 And worms fliall eat their fermons and their hides 
 
 Polecats, who Dick’s difaflrous end furvive. 
 Shall blefs their Pars that they ftill Itink alive ; 
 Mulkcats fliall feel a melancholy qualm. 
 
 And with their fweets departed Dick embalm; 
 Cats in each clime and latitude that dwell. 
 Brown, fable, fandy, grey, and tortoifefliell. 
 
 Of titles obfolete, or yet in ufe, 
 
 Tom, Tybert, Roger, Rutterkin"', orPufs; 
 
 Cats who with wayward Hags the moon control. 
 Unchain the winds, and bid the thunders roll; 
 Brave in enchanted fieves the boift’rous main. 
 And Roval barks with adverfe blafts detain ; ^ 
 Nay Two-legg’d Cats, as well as Cats with four. 
 Shall Dick’s irreparable lofs deplore. 
 
142 
 
 MONODY ON 
 
 Cats who frail nymphs in gay alTemblies guard, 
 
 As buckram ftiff, and bearded like the pard; 
 Calumnious Cats who circulate faux pas, 
 
 And reputations maul with murd’rous claws; 
 
 Shrill Cats whom fierce domeftic brawls delight, 
 
 Crofs Cats who nothing want but teeth to bite, 
 
 Starch Cats of puritanic afpe6t fad. 
 
 And learned Cats who talk their hufbands mad ; 
 Confounded Cats who cough, and croak, and cry, 
 
 And maudlin Cats who drink eternally; 
 
 Prim Cats of countenance and mien precife, 
 
 Yet oft’ner hankering for men than mice; 
 
 Curft Cats whom nought but caftigation checks, 
 Penurious Cats who buy their coals by pecks, 
 
 Faftidious Cats who pine for coflly Cates, 
 
 And jealous Cats who Catechife their mates; 
 
 Cat -Prudes who, when they’re afk’d the queflion, fquall, 
 And ne’er give anfwer Categorical; 
 
THE DEATH OF DICK. 
 
 143 
 
 Uncleanly Cats who never pare their nails, 
 Cat-Goffips full of Canterbury tales, 
 Cat-Grandams vex’d with afthmas and Catarrhs, 
 And fuperftitious Cats who curfe their bars; 
 Cats who their favours barter for a bribe, 
 
 And canting Cats, the worft of all the tribe ! 
 And faded Virgin -Cats, and Tabbies old. 
 
 Who at quadrille remorfelefs moufe for gold; 
 Cats of each clafs, craft, calling, and degree 
 Mourn Dick’s calamitous Cataftrophe. 
 
 Yet, while I chant the caufe of Richard’s End, 
 Ye fympathizing Cats, your tears fufpend' ! 
 
 Then flied enough to float a dozen whales, 
 
 And ufe, for pocket-handkerchiefs, your tails!-— 
 
 Fame fays, (but Fame a fland’rer hands confefs’d,) 
 Dick his own fprats, likeB----R drefs’d: 
 
144 
 
 MONODY ON 
 
 But to the Advocates of Truth ’tis known, 
 
 He neither ftaid for Grace nor Gridiron. 
 
 Raw fprats he fwore were worth all fifli befide, 
 
 Frefli, ftale, ftew’d, fpitchcock’d, fricaffee’d or fried; 
 Then fwallow’d down a fcore without remorfe, 
 
 And three fat Mice flew for his fecond courfe: 
 
 But, while the third his grinders dyed with gore, 
 Sudden thofe grinders clos’d — to grind no more! 
 
 And (dire to tell!) commhlion’d by Old Nick, 
 
 A Catalepfy made an end of Dick. 
 
 Thus from the Pafty’s furious efcalade, 
 
 Where blood, to gravy turn’d, embrown’d his blade, * 
 (That all-encount’ring blade which fcorn’d to fear 
 Broil’d Gizzards charg’d with Kian-gunpowder) 
 
 From Rais’d -cruft le veil’d, never more to rife, 
 
 From Ducks difpatch’d, and maflacred Minc’d -pies, 
 From Turkey-poults transfix’d and Sirloins flaflr’d, 
 From Marrow-puddings maul’d, and Cuftards quafii’d, 
 
THE DEATH OF DICK. 
 
 145 
 
 Crimpt Cod, and mutilated Mackarel, 
 
 And defolation of the Tvirtle’s ITiell 
 
 Some Alderman, of giant appetite, 
 
 A furfeit fweeps to everlafting night: 
 
 Imbibing Claret with his lateft breath, 
 
 \ 
 
 And brandifliing his knife and fork in death. 
 Downward a gormandizing ghoft he goes. 
 And bears to Hell frefli fuel on his nofe; 
 
 For Calipadi explores th’ infernal fcene, ^ 
 
 And wiflies Phlegethon one vaft Terrene. 
 
 O Paragon of Cats, whofe lofs diftradfs 
 My foul, and turns my tears to Cataradls, 
 
 Nor craft nor courage could thy doom prorogue ! 
 Dick, premier Cat upon the Catalogue 
 Of Cats that grace a Caterwauling age, 
 
 Scar’d by Fate’s Cat -call quits this earthly Ilage; 
 Dire fled the arrow that laid Richard flat. 
 
 And flckening Glory faw Death flioot a Cat. 
 
 u 
 
146 
 
 MONODY ON 
 
 Ah! tho’ thy bull adorn no fculptur’d flirine, 
 
 No Vafe thy relics, Dick, to fame conhgn. 
 
 No rev’rend charadlers thy rank exprefs. 
 
 Nor hail thee, Dick, D. D. nor F.R.S., 
 
 For Thee, ’midft golden groves of Paradife, 
 
 Shall bloom the deathlefs wreath that Earth denies. 
 There, while Grimalkin’s mew her Richard greets, 
 A thoufand Cats fliall purr on fainted feats: 
 
 E’en now I fee, defcending from his throne. 
 
 Thy venerable Cat, O Whittington, 
 
 The kindred excellence of Richard hail, 
 
 And fwell with joy his gratulating tail ! 
 
 There fliall the worthies of the Whifker’d Race 
 Elylian Mice o’er floors of fapphire chafe, 
 
 Midft beds of aromatic marum ftray, 
 
 Or raptur’d rove beflde the Milky Way. 
 
 Kittens, than Eaftern Houris fairer feen, 
 
 Whofe bright eyes gliften with immortal green, 
 
THE DEATH OF DICK. 
 
 Shall fmooth for Tabby Swains tbeir yielding fur, 
 And to their amorous Mews alTenting purr. — 
 There, like Alcmena’s, fliall Grimalkin’s Son 
 In blifs repofe, — his mouling labours done. 
 
 Fate, Envy, Curs, Time, Tide and Traps defy. 
 And Caterwaul to all eternity. 
 
 147 
 
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EXPLANATORY NOTES. 
 
 (a) St. Leonard’s Hill, in Windfor Foreft, the refidence of the Honourable 
 
 General Harcourt. 
 
 (b) Cartoon. — The Dcat’n of Ananias, in the Royal Apartments at Windfor 
 
 Caftle, 
 
 (c) Cartoon. — Paul preaching at Athens. 
 
 (d) Cartoon. — Paul and Barnabas at Lyftra. 
 
 (e) The Vidlories of Edward the Third, and Edward die Black Prince painted by 
 
 Mr. West. 
 
 (f) “ Morning. — The Seafon Winter. Cold as it may appear to be, we 
 
 “ have here an Old Maid, going to feven o’clock Prayers, with her half- 
 ftarved, diivering fervant behind her, carrying her Prayer Book, dreffed in 
 a fmgle lappet and without an handkerchief, &c. a well pointed fatire 
 “ on fuch perfons as make themfelves Singular with refpedt to Public 
 “ Worlliip, merely to attradl the notice of their neighbours, &c. &:c.” 
 
 Hogarth Moralized, page 154. 
 
 (g) — Te fonantem plenius aureo, 
 
 Alcaee, ple 61 ;ro 
 
 Pugnas et exadlos Tyrannos. Horat: L. 2. Ode 13. 
 
 :(h) A Latin Song called “ Domum,” fung with mufical accompaniment, on the 
 day before the commencement of their Whitfuntide Vacation, by the 
 Scholars of Winchefter College. The words “ Matin Hymn, &c.” in 
 the preceding couplet refer to other ancient cuftoms of that Venerable 
 Seminary. 
 
EXPLANATORY NOTES. 
 
 150 
 
 (l) The late Lord Talbot, Steward of the Houfehold. 
 
 For an account of the Monastery of Medenham, the Reader (if 
 he thinks it worth his while) may confult the third volume of “ CiiRYSAL,” 
 or the Adventures of a Guinea. 
 
 (k) Sec Percy’s Rellques of Antient Poetry. 
 
 ■ — Hudibras gave him a twitch, 
 
 As quick as light’ning, in the br--ch. 
 
 Juft in the place where Honour’s lodg’d. 
 
 As wife philofophers have judg’d, 
 
 Becaufe a kick in That Place more 
 Hurts Honour than deep wounds before. 
 
 Butler’s Hudibras, Part 2. C. 3. 
 
 (m) The Old Pewter Platter, a pot-houfe in the neighbourhood of Hatton Garden. 
 
 (n) Golgotha, “ The place of a Scull,” a name ludicroufly affixed to the Place 
 
 in which the Heads of Colleges affemble. 
 
 (o) Eledtrical fparks elicited by fridtion from a cat’s back. 
 
 (p) The fociable Porker here alluded to, is well known to have been the affiduous 
 
 companion of Lord M — t Edg ’s excurfions. 
 
 (q) On the death of Cibber the place of Poet Laureate was offered by Lord John 
 
 Cavendifli, at the defire of - the late Duke of Devonffiire then Lord Cham- 
 berlain, to Mr. Gray, who refufed to accept it. 
 
 See Mafon’s Memoirs of the Life and Writings of Gray. 
 
 (r) Rutterkin. — A Cat of this name was Cater-coufin to the great great great great 
 
 great great great great great grandmother of Grimalkin ; and Firft Cat 
 in the Caterie of an old woman who was tried for bewitching the Daughter 
 of the Countefs of Rutland in the beginning of the Sixteenth Century. 
 
 (s) “ Moreover flie confeffed that fire took a Cat and chrlftened it. See. See. and that 
 
 “ in the night following, the faid Cat was conveyed into the middeft of the 
 
EXPLANATORY NOTES. 
 
 I5I 
 
 “ fea by all thcfe Witches fayling in their Riddle, or Gives, and fo left 
 “ the faid Cat right before the towne of Leith in Scotland. This doone, 
 
 “ there did arife fuch a temped: at Sea as a greater hath not beenfeen, &c,” 
 
 “ Againe it is confeffed that the faid chriftened Cat was the caufe of 
 “ the Kinges Majehie’s Ihippe, at his comming forthe of Denmarke, had 
 “ a contrarie winde to the reft of the fliippes then beeing in his companie, 
 
 “ which tiling was moft ilraunge and true, as the Kinges MajeRie acknow- 
 “ ledgeth, for when the reft of the Riippes had a fair and good winde, 
 
 “ then was the winde contrarie and altogether againft his Majeltie, &c.” 
 
 Old Pamphlet entitled, “ Newes from Scotland, &cc. &c. 
 &c.” Printed in the Year 1591, by William Wright. 
 See Notes on the Tragedy of Macbeth in Johnfon and 
 Steevens’ edition of Shakfpeare. 
 
 (t) — Petit Ille dapes, 
 
 Oraque vana movet, dentemque in dente fatigat : 
 
 Exercetque c'lbo delufum guttur inani, 
 
 Proque epulis tenues nequicquiim devorat auras. 
 
 Ovid. Met. Lib. 8. 
 
 THE END. 
 

 ERRATA. 
 
 Page. Line. 
 
 5 
 
 10 
 
 After the word bright omit the comma. 
 
 19 
 
 7 
 
 After the word /mile omit the comma. 
 
 24 
 
 8 
 
 For briny wave^ read — llumbering wave. 
 
 26 
 
 15 
 
 For over the gloomy read— o’er the gloom* 
 
 32 
 
 2 
 
 For harp^Sf read — harps*. 
 
 41 
 
 I 
 
 For founds^ read — ^ftrains. 
 
 53 
 
 8 
 
 For winds, read— rays. 
 
 55 
 
 8 
 
 After the word fufpends omit the comma. 
 
 56 
 
 6 
 
 For trickling, read — generous. , 
 
 61 
 
 I 
 
 After the word Jianzas omit the comma. 
 
 69 
 
 1 1 
 
 For tho* the TVlnter, read — tho’ Winter. 
 
 89 
 
 9 
 
 For the words could not turn, read— fail’d to turn. 
 
 92 
 
 8 
 
 For they have, read — ^they ’ve. 
 
 146 
 
 12 
 
 For /well, read — curl. 
 
 151 
 
 I 
 
 For riddle read— riddles,