BOHN’S CLASSICAL LIBRARY 
 
 LUCIAN’S DIALOGUES 
 
LUCIAN’S DIALOGUES 
 
 NAMELY 
 
 THE DIALOGUES OF THE GODS, OF THE SEA- 
 GODS, AND OF THE DEAD ; ZEUS THE 
 TRAGEDIAN, THE FERRY-BOAT 
 
 ETC. 
 
 TRANSLATED WITH NOTES AND A PRELIMINARY MEMOIR 
 
 BY 
 
 HOWARD WILLIAMS, M.A. 
 
 LATE SCHOLAR OF ST. JOHN’S COLLEGE, CAMBRIDGE 
 
 boston college library 
 
 CHESTNUT HILL, MASS- 
 
 LONDON: GEORGE BELL AND SONS, YORK STREET 
 
 COYENT GARDEN 
 
 1888 
 
 , ,-V N COLLEGE t iriKfW'ii 
 , tSTNUT rt!LL, MASS* 
 
CHISWICK PRESS:—C. WHITTINGHAM AND CO., TOOKS COURT. 
 CHANCERY LANE. 
 

 ΤΑ 4-.23 ι , 
 
 AS W 
 
 CONTENTS. 
 
 Preface 
 
 Page 
 
 xiii 
 
 Dialogues of the Gods. 
 
 I. Prometheus obtains his release from Zeus by a 
 
 prophecy.1 
 
 II. Zeus threatens to put Eros in fetters .... 3 
 
 III. Zeus orders Hermes to slay Argus, and to conduct 
 
 Io to Egypt.4 
 
 IV. Zeus instructs Ganymedes as to the nature of his 
 
 duties in heaven ....... 5 
 
 V. Hera upbraids Zeus with his love for Ganymedes . 9 
 
 VI. Ixion makes love to Hera.12 
 
 VII. Hephaestus recounts to Apollo the actions of the 
 
 infant prodigy, Hermes . . . . . .15 
 
 VIII. Hephaestus assists at the parturition of Zeus and the 
 
 birth of Athena.17 
 
 IX. Hermes refuses Poseidon admission to Zeus, and 
 assigns as the reason the lying-in of the king of 
 Gods and men with Bacchus . . . . .18 
 
 X. Hermes conveys to Helios the order of Zeus: that 
 he is to refrain from driving his chariot, until the 
 completion of the amour of the king of gods and 
 
 men with Alkmene.21 
 
 XI. Aphrodite charges Selene with her love for Endy- 
 mion, and, at the same time, laments the tyranny 
 
 of her son, Eros, over herself.22 
 
 XII. Aphrodite upbraids Eros for his mischievous conduct 
 in the past, and cautions him for the future. Eros 
 defends himself.24 
 
 XIII. Asklepius and Herakles quarrel on a question of pre¬ 
 
 cedence in heaven.25 
 
 XIV. Apollo recounts to Hermes the manner of the death 
 
 of Hyakinthus, and his grief for the same . . 27 
 
 XV. Hermes and Apollo envy the deformed Hephaestus 
 
 the possession of his beautiful wives ... 29 
 
 XVI. Hera and Leto dispute about the merits of their 
 
 respective children . 
 
 30 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 vi 
 
 Page 
 
 XVII. Hermes relates to Apollo the adultery of Ares and 
 
 Aphrodite, and the revenge of Hephsestus . . 33 
 
 XVIII. Hera denounces, and Zeus defends, the character of 
 
 Bacchus.34 
 
 XIX. Eros explains to his mother why he does not assail 
 
 Athena, the Musae, and Artemis .... 36 
 
 XX. The Judgment of Paris.38 
 
 XXI. Ares ridicules the threat of Zeus, and the Chain let 
 
 down from heaven.. . 49 
 
 XXII. Pan urges his claims to be the son of Hermes, who 
 
 is unwilling to admit his paternity ... 50 
 
 XXIII. Apollo remarks to Bacchus on the heterogeneousness 
 of Aphrodite’s children ; while Bacchus exposes 
 the character of Priapus ..... 52 
 
 XXIV. Hermes complains to his mother of the multiplicity 
 
 of his employments ...... 54 
 
 XXV. Helios, accused by Zeus of rash conduct in giving up 
 
 his chariot to his son, obtains a conditional pardon 56 
 
 XXVI. Apollo asks Hermes to point out to him, of the twin 
 Dioscuri which is Kastor, and which Polvdeukes ; 
 and takes the opportunity of criticizing their divine 
 pretensions ..58 
 
 Dialogues of the Sea-Gods. 
 
 I. Doris ridicules the figure and manners of Polyphemus, 
 
 the lover of Galateia.61 
 
 II. Polyphemus complains to Poseidon, his father, of his 
 
 treatment at the hands of Odysseus . . . .63 
 
 III. Poseidon questions Alpheius, a river-god, respecting 
 
 his amour with the nymph Aretliusa. ... 65 
 
 IV. Menelaus expresses to Proteus his incredulity in regard 
 
 to the alleged miraculous transformations of that di¬ 
 vinity ......... 66 
 
 V. Panope relates to Galene the scene of the introduction 
 of the golden apple by Eris into the nuptial feast of 
 Peleus and Thetis, the discord between the three 
 rival Goddesses, and their dismissal to Mount Ida for 
 judgment ......... 68 
 
 VI. The rape of Amymone by Poseidon .... 69 
 
 VII. Zephyrus recounts to Notus the metamorphosis and 
 
 adventures of Io . . . . . . .71 
 
 VIII. At Poseidon’s request, the dolphins narrate to him the 
 
 story of Arion’s escape ...... 72 
 
 IX. Poseidon and Amphitrite dispute as to the fitting place 
 
 of burial for Helle, drowned in the Hellespont. Po¬ 
 seidon directs the Nereids to take up her body, and 
 bury it in the Troad ....... 74 
 
 X. Iris conveys to Poseidon the commands of Zeus that he 
 
 should keep the island of Delos stationary, where 
 Leto was to lie-in ....... 
 
 75 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 vir 
 
 Page 
 
 XI. The river Xanthus supplicates Thalassa (the Sea) to 
 
 receive him, and cure the burns inflicted upon him by 
 Hephiestus on behalf of Achilleus . . . .76 
 
 XII. Thetis relates to Doris the story of the exposure of 
 
 Danae and her infant, Perseus ..... 77 
 
 XIII. Enipeus reproaches Poseidon with the fraudulent seduc¬ 
 
 tion of the nymph Tyro. Poseidon excuses himself 78 
 
 XIV, A Triton relates to the Nereids the story of the rescue 
 
 of Andromeda by Perseus ...... 80 
 
 XV. Zephyrus relates to Notus the manner of the rape of 
 Europa, and the marine pomp with which she was 
 conducted to her nuptials with Zeus.... 83 
 
 Dialogues of the Dead. 
 
 I. Diogenes commissions Polydeukes, about to return to 
 the upper world, to inform Menippus of the actual 
 condition of things in the land of shades, and to 
 deliver admonitory messages to various sorts of men 
 —the rich, the powerful, the proud; and, finally, to 
 the poor, whom, when they complain of their lot on 
 earth, he is to console by representing the complete 
 equality (ισοτιμία) which prevails in the regions of 
 
 the dead ..86 
 
 II. Krcesus, Midas, and Sardanapalus complain to Pluto 
 of Menippus that he derides them for their lamenta¬ 
 tions over the loss of the power, wealth, and luxury 
 which belonged to them on earth. Menippus, in spite 
 of Pluto’s remonstrances, persists in his ridicule . 90 
 
 III. Menippus ridicules the oracles of Troplionius and Am- 
 
 philochus ......... 92 
 
 IV. Hermes demands from Charon arrears of payment due 
 
 to him for his services on the Styx. Charon excuses 
 himself on the plea of bad times; no great war or 
 famine, as it happened, ravaging the earth at that 
 moment. Hermes moralizes on the causes of death, 
 different from those of old, which despatch men in 
 
 crowds to Hades.93 
 
 V. Pluto directs Hermes to bring him the fortune and 
 legacy-hunters and flatterers of a certain rich man, 
 and to suffer the latter to outlive his fawning satel¬ 
 lites .......... 95 
 
 VI. Terpsion, a legacy-hunter, accuses Pluto and the Fates 
 in that, although only thirty years of age, they had 
 caused him to predecease the object of his tender 
 regards, the millionaire nonagenarian, Thukritus. 
 
 Pluto convinces Terpsion of the injustice of his accu¬ 
 sation ; and the legacy-hunter consoles himself in 
 the prospect of being soon joined in Hades by his late 
 rivals on earth . . ... . . . .97 
 
 VII. Zenophantes and Kallidemides, two parasites, bewail 
 
Vlll 
 
 CONTENTS. 
 
 Page 
 
 one to the other their fates, in having heen in the 
 midst of their scheming unexpectedly dismissed to 
 Hades. Kallidemides, in particular, recounts the 
 pleasant manner in which he brought about his own 
 death.......... 99 
 
 VIII. Knemon, a legacy-hunter, laments to his neighbour 
 Damnippus, that, whereas he had publicly, in his 
 will, bequeathed all his w r ealth to the millionaire 
 Hermolaus, in the expectation that the latter would 
 reciprocate the benefit, he, the speculating testator, 
 by his sudden death, had been frustrated of all his 
 hopes, and, besides, had left his family destitute . 101 
 
 IX. Polystratus, a centenarian plutocrat, upon arriving in 
 Hades, narrates to his friend Simylus how, hv reason 
 of his great wealth, he had enjoyed the adulation of 
 the world and an abundance of gifts from speculating 
 flatterers, and how he had disappointed them all by 
 
 his will.. .102 
 
 X. An alarming number of ghosts crowd to the Styx. 
 Charon, fearing for his boat, directs Hermes to see 
 that they were entirely stripped of their various 
 insignia of power, rank, wealth, and the weighty 
 load of vices, before thev are admitted on hoard. 
 Menippus, who is one of the passengers, avails him¬ 
 self of the opportunity for ridiculing and railing at 
 
 the bewailing ghosts.105 
 
 XI. Krates and Diogenes, meeting in Hades, indulge their 
 satire on the subject of the fates of two millionaire 
 merchants (cousins) who had heen constantly plot¬ 
 ting, in the usual manner, each for the other’s 
 legacy, and who had both perished on the same day 
 by shipwreck. The two eminent Cynics congratu¬ 
 late themselves on the recollection of the very diffe¬ 
 rent character of their own objects in life . . 112 
 
 XII. Alexander of Macedon and Hannibal, quarrelling for 
 precedence, submit the arbitrament of their cause 
 to Minos. Each recounts his exploits. Scipio, the 
 conqueror of Carthage, intervenes, and pronounces 
 in favour of Alexander, claiming the second place for 
 himself, and assigningthe third place to Hannibal . 114 
 
 XIII. Diogenes jeers at Alexander of Macedon for his late 
 pretensions to divinity, at the same time satirizing 
 the servile attitude of the conquered Greek States to¬ 
 wards him. He proceeds to remind the arrogant 
 conqueror of all his vain power and glory, and casts 
 large part of the blame on Alexander’s preceptor, 
 Aristotle, for flattering and fostering the pride and 
 ambition of his pupil. Diogenes, finally, recom¬ 
 mends the dead potentate to drink the waters of the 
 river Lethe.120 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 IX 
 
 XIV. Philip, King of Macedon, ridicules his son Alexan¬ 
 der’s absurd arrogance in claiming to be the son of 
 Ammon, and calls in question the greatness of his 
 military achievements. Alexander defends him¬ 
 self .124 
 
 XV. Antilochus, the son of Nestor (one of the Greek heroes 
 who fell during the siege of Ilium), remonstrates 
 with his friend Achilleus for having given utterance 
 to the words put into his mouth by the poet of the 
 Odyssey—that he would rather be a slave on earth 
 than king in Hades—shows him the uselessness of 
 regrets in the under-world, and, at the same time, 
 attempts to console him with the reflection that he 
 is far from being alone in his fate. Achilleus 
 takes the admonition of his friend in good part, 
 
 but refuses to be comforted.128 
 
 XVI. Diogenes, the Cynic, expresses his astonishment to 
 Herakles at seeing the son of Zeus in Hades, like 
 the rest. That hero pretends that his actual self 
 is in heaven, while it is his eidolon , or phantom, 
 
 which is among the dead.130 
 
 XVII. Menippus derides the fable and fate of Tantalus . 133 
 XVIII. Menippus desires Hermes to point out to him the 
 beautiful women and handsome men celebrated by 
 the poets. Hermes shows him the ghosts of the 
 most famous of them, and, in particular, that of 
 Helene. Menippus cynically expresses his aston¬ 
 ishment that a bare skull should have caused a 
 great war, and the deaths of so many thousands . 135 
 
 XIX. Protesilaus, one of the victims of the Trojan War, 
 seeks to avenge himself by an assault on Helene— 
 ACakus, gatekeeper and one of the high court of 
 justice in Hades, reminds him that it is Menelaus, 
 the commander-in-chief of the Achaean army against 
 Ilium, who is the proper object of his vengeance. 
 Menelaus shifts the responsibility to the shoulders 
 of Paris. Paris lays the blame upon Eros. A£akus 
 decides that Protesilaus has only himself to blame 
 for preferring military glory to a young and beau¬ 
 tiful wife ; but concedes to Protesilaus that the 
 blame, in the last resort, lies with the Fates . 137 
 
 XX. ASakus, at the especial request of Menippus, intro¬ 
 duces him to the ghosts of the most celebrated 
 potentates of antiquity, when the Cynic avails 
 himself of his opportunity for ridicule and derision. 
 Menippus is next introduced to the most famous 
 philosophers, whom he treats with not much 
 greater consideration. The dialogue concludes with 
 an interview with Socrates, whose foibles, real or 
 pretended, are made the subject of satire . . 139 
 
X 
 
 CONTENTS. 
 
 XXL 
 
 XXII. 
 
 XXIII. 
 
 XXIV. 
 
 XXV. 
 
 XXVI. 
 
 XXVII. 
 
 XXVIII. 
 
 XXIX. 
 
 Menippus inquires of Kerberus, the canine guardian 
 of the entrance to Hades, as to the demeanour 
 of Sokrates upon his first arrival there 
 
 Charon demands from Menippus his accustomed 
 fee. Upon the absolute refusal of the Cynic to 
 pay, a lively altercation ensues .... 
 
 Protesilaus, an Achiean hero, who had fallen before 
 Ilium, supplicates Pluto to permit him to return 
 to life, for a day, to visit his wife Laodameia, and 
 adduces as precedents the examples of Orpheus 
 and Alkestis. At the intercession of Persephone, 
 Pluto at length grants the favour 
 
 Diogenes demands of Mausolus, the Karian satrap, 
 the reason of his arrogance and pride, and ridi¬ 
 cules the vanity of his grandeur and power on 
 earth, and, in particular, the uselessness to him 
 of his magnificent tomb at Halikarnassus. He 
 concludes his diatribe with contrasting his own 
 complete ignorance and indifference in regard 
 even to the manner, or place, of his own sepul¬ 
 ture . ........ 
 
 Nireus and Thersites, disputing which of them was 
 the more distinguished by good looks, appeal to 
 Menippus. Menippus, disregarding the autho¬ 
 rity of Homer, pronounces the ίσοκάλλος as well 
 as the Ισοτιμία, in Hades, to he as complete as it 
 is unalterable ....... 
 
 Cheiron imparts to Menippus his reason for pre¬ 
 ferring Hades to heaven and immortality . 
 
 The philosophers Diogenes, Antisthenes, and Krates 
 resolve to make for the entrance to Orcus, to 
 observe the quality and conduct of the new 
 arrivals. On the way they entertain themselves 
 with recounting their several experiences of the 
 behaviour of their travelling companions to 
 Hades. Upon their arrival at their destination, 
 Diogenes interrogates a poor man as to the cause 
 of his lamentation ...... 
 
 Menippus ridicules the story of the prophet Tei- 
 resias as found in the poets and theologists, 
 and, in particular, his metamorphosis into a 
 
 WOUlciTl ········ 
 
 Agamemnon inquires of (Telamonian) Aias the 
 reason of his late cool reception of Odysseus, 
 when he came down to learn the future from 
 Teiresias. Aias justifies his hostile feeling by 
 alleging the conduct of Odysseus to him, in the 
 matter of the competition for the arms df Aehil- 
 leus ......... 
 
 Page 
 
 145 
 
 146 
 
 148 
 
 150 
 
 152 
 
 154 
 
 155 
 
 160 
 
 163 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 XI 
 
 Page 
 
 XXX. Sostratus, for his crimes, about to be consigned 
 by Minos to the tortures of Tartarus, protests 
 against the injustice of his sentence ; since, 
 upon the admissions of his judge himself, he 
 had been a mere instrument in the hands of 
 Fate. Minos, moved by the plausibility of his 
 plea, reprieves him.164 
 
 Zeus the Tragedian 
 
 The Convicted Zeus. 
 
 The Convention of the Gods 
 
 The Ferry-boat : or, The Tyrant . 
 
 Menippus : or, The Oracle of the Dead . 
 
 . 168 
 . 209 
 
 . 225 
 . 237 
 . 262 
 
 Index 
 
 . 283 
 

 
PREFACE. 
 
 For the few ascertained facts in the life of the greatest 
 prose satirist and most brilliant wit of Greek and Latin 
 antiquity, we are indebted, almost wholly, to scattered and 
 incidental allusions in his own various writings. 
 
 Like his immediate predecessor, Menippus the satirist; 
 the illustrious Neo-Platonist, Porphyry, in the third; and 
 the orator, Libanius, in the fourth century, Lucian was 
 Syrian by birth. He was born at Samosata—its heap of 
 ruins still retains the old name almost unchanged—on the 
 Euphrates, not far distant from Edessa, and the chief 
 city of the district of Kommagene, in the extreme north¬ 
 east of Syria, about the year 120 a.d. Tradition protracts 
 the term of his existence to the age of ninety, or even of 
 one hundred years. He thus lived through the reigns of 
 Hadrian, the two Antonines, and Commodus, and (at all 
 events) the earlier part of the reign of Severus—alto¬ 
 gether the happiest period of the Roman Empire, and 
 one of the most interesting ages in the world’s his¬ 
 tory. Of his earlier life, the brief record supplied 
 in his incomplete autobiographical sketch, the Dream, 
 so often has been repeated, that it is not necessary to 
 do more than to refer to it here. It is enough briefly to 
 repeat that the deliberations of a family council deter¬ 
 mined his parents, who were in poor circumstances, to 
 apprentice him, at the age of fifteen, to his maternal uncle, 
 a statuary, for whose art he had shown some boyish incli¬ 
 nation ; that, by a fortunate accident—fortunate, at least, 
 for the world of literary, if not of plastic, Art—the breaking 
 of a piece of marble, he was induced to run away from his 
 master, in resentment at a severe flogging, and to transfer 
 
XIV 
 
 PREFACE. 
 
 liis allegiance to Literature ( Paideia ] ) ; or, rather, to 
 prepare himself, in the first instance, by a severe course 
 of training, for the profession of a rhetor (in modern 
 phrase, a public speaker), which eventually led him to em¬ 
 brace the career of philosophy and letters. 
 
 At this very early stage his memoir, unhappily, comes 
 to an end, and we are left to incidental remarks in his more 
 considerable productions. His experiences for some years 
 lay in the hard school of poverty and neglect (πενης κα) 
 αφανής). In search of employment, or, rather, to master 
 the rudiments of his profession, the young Lucian wan¬ 
 dered through the cities of the south-western region 
 of the Lesser Asia, the celebrated and highly-cultured 
 Ionia, gradually getting rid of his provincial manner and 
 dialect, but still conspicuous by his Syrian (or, as he calls 
 it, Assyrian) and un-Greek style of dress ( The Twice- 
 Accused , 27). In his twentieth year he arrived in Greece, 
 and made his first acquaintance with the Platonic philo¬ 
 sopher Nigrinus, who gives the title to one of his Dialogues. 
 He next settled in the Syrian capital, Antioch, where he 
 practised at the bar, and acquired considerable reputation 
 as a pleader ; but the chicanery and frauds of the inter¬ 
 preters of the laws soon caused him to abandon that pur¬ 
 suit (The Fisherman , 29). The skill thus gained he turned 
 to lucrative account as travelling disputant ( sophistes , as it 
 was termed)—a popular and profitable calling, which was as 
 common in the philosophic Hellenic and Roman world in the 
 second century, A.D., as it was in Scholastic Europe of the 
 Middle Ages. In that capacity he traversed Syria and Egypt. 
 Soon afterwards he visited Rome (in the year 150), among 
 other reasons, to consult an oculist; and in his Nigrmus , 
 the literary result of his visit, he stigmatizes the prevail¬ 
 ing corruptions and laborious trifling of the literary as 
 well as fashionable society of the capital. After a stay of 
 two years in Italy, he proceeded to southern Gaul, at that 
 time, and long previously, celebrated for its schools of 
 
 1 The fine allegory of the rivalry of Paideia and Techne (“ Trade '") 
 may have been suggested to him, in part, by the charming idyll of 
 Moschus (in which Europe and Asia appear in a dream to the daughter 
 of Kadmus, and contend for her possession), as well as by the Choice of 
 HeraJcles of Prodikus and Xenophon. 
 
PREFACE. 
 
 XV 
 
 rhetoric. In Gaul he continued his profession of public 
 lecturer for some ten years, his residence in that country 
 being interrupted only by a visit to Olympia. During 
 this period, probably, he composed many of his published 
 rhetorical pieces. 
 
 Having now secured an independent income, at the age 
 of forty, Lucian set out again on his travels, and made a 
 journey through Macedonia and Thessaly, on his way to 
 his Syrian home. His stay at Samosata was only tempo¬ 
 rary ; and, inducing his surviving family to remove to 
 Athens, in the next year he himself followed them to the 
 literary metropolis, which to him, as to every Greek 
 or phil-Hellenist, doubtless was an object of supreme 
 intellectual curiosity. It was on his journey to Athens 
 that he had the interview with the Paphlagonian prophet, 
 Alexander, which gave birth to his satire of that name. 
 The contempt openly exhibited by him for that eminent 
 miracle-worker had almost, as he assures us (Alex. 56, 57), 
 cost him his life : for the exasperated Alexander had 
 secretly instructed the crew of the vessel, which he had 
 insidiously placed at his visitor’s disposal, to make away 
 with their charge—a conspiracy frustrated only by the 
 interposition of the relenting captain. Thus saved from a 
 premature and inglorious end, he proceeded on his journey 
 to Athens, accompanied by that extraordinary adventurer, 
 Peregrinus, or Peregrinus Proteus, whose fiery immolation 
 of himself (like that of another Hercules Furens), be¬ 
 fore the assembled multitude at Olympia, witnessed by 
 Lucian, in the year 165, forms the principal subject of the 
 Peregrinus. 
 
 At Athens Lucian seems—for there is no positive evi¬ 
 dence—to have taken up his fixed abode for the greater 
 part of his remaining life, occupying himself, as may safely 
 be conjectured, in the highest philosophical and literary 
 studies, and in the enjoyment of the friendship of such 
 exceptional philosophers as Celsus, the famous Platonist- 
 critic of nascent Christianity (in his True Account, known 
 to us only through the Reply of Origen, published fifty 
 years later), of the Stoic Sostratus, and the Eclectic De- 
 monax. His sketch of the career of the last, a meritorious 
 ethical teacher, forms one of the not rare proofs of his 
 
XVI 
 
 PREFACE. 
 
 esteem for real goodness. 1 During this period appeared 
 his masterpieces—his principal theological, philosophical, 
 and ethical Dialogues —when that consummate skill in the 
 management of the marvellous Attic dialect had been 
 attained which rivals the style of the best masters, and 
 which, as the acquisition of a foreigner, excites the admira¬ 
 tion of all his editors and critics. Perhaps the only other 
 equally remarkable instance of such kind of excellence is 
 that of the African Terence. 
 
 When about the age of seventy, impelled, it would seem, 
 by imminent poverty—for authors, then, even of the highest 
 reputation fell very far short of obtaining from the Sosii 
 of the day the immense pecuniary profits now often secured 
 by ephemeral writers—Lucian once more resumed his old 
 occupation of rhetor or sophist , and produced some of those 
 declamatory essays which appear among his published 
 works. At a fortunate moment, he found relief from his 
 pecuniary difficulties in an official income derived from his 
 appointment to the registrarship or clerkship of the law- 
 courts of the Egyptian capital, the presentation to which 
 office has variously been assigned to Marcus Aurelius, 
 Commodus, and Severus. Chronology seems, on the whole, 
 to support the claims of the last prince, who became em¬ 
 peror in 193, to the honour of saving from destitution ihe 
 greatest literary ornament of the century. To clear him¬ 
 self from the charge of teaching one thing (in his satire, On 
 Hired Dependants ) and practising another, by way of sup¬ 
 plement to that essay he published his Apology. From it, 
 incidentally, we learn that he derived a large salary (πολυτά¬ 
 λαντος) from his legal post. He alleges the forcible argu¬ 
 ment that, as the Imperial master of the Roman legions 
 himself—not to mention numerous less exalted personages 
 —by no means refused the richest emoluments of office, 
 
 1 The most interesting, and most meritorious, fact recorded in the life 
 of this highly interesting philosopher, who inclined in opinion chiefly to 
 the School of Plato, in practice to that of Antisthenes, is his fine remon¬ 
 strance addressed to the people of Athens, who were contemplating the 
 introduction of the cruel “ sports ” of the Roman amphitheatres. 
 “ Refrain, Athenians,” he protested, “ from voting this, until you have 
 first pulled down your altar erected to Pity ” {Bern. 51). See, too, his 
 very rational remark on sacrifices ( Bern . 6). 
 
PREFACE. 
 
 XVII 
 
 he, the starving critic, could scarcely be blamed for fol¬ 
 lowing—in a very humble fashion, and at a very long inter¬ 
 val—that elevated example For the most part, his official 
 duties at Alexandria he devolved upon a deputy, so that 
 his learned leisure was little disturbed at Athens, where, 
 as already stated, he died at an advanced age, but at what 
 date is quite uncertain. 
 
 Such are the somewhat meagre facts collected from his 
 writings. To these his earlier biographers or critics, led 
 by the lexicographer Suidas, have been pleased to make 
 some sensational and apocryphal additions. Suidas, of 
 whom nothing is known except that he belongs to a 
 very late date in Byzantine literary history, having, pro¬ 
 bably, in mind the story of the tragic end of the infidel 
 Euripides, assures his readers that the “ blasphemer ” 
 found a well-merited end in having been torn to pieces by 
 wild dogs ; and, not content with so unique a termination 
 to his earthly career, adds, as to his posthumous existence, 
 “ in the future, with Satan, he will have his portion in 
 eternal fire.” Another equally discreet authority, of the 
 sixteenth century, Raffaelle Maffei (or Yolaterranus, as he 
 is called from his birthplace), avers that he was a mali¬ 
 cious apostate from Christianity, attributing to him the 
 bon mot , that he had gained nothing from his old creed but 
 change of name—Lucianus in place of Lucius (or Lykinus). 
 To these and similar mendacious assertions Erasmus re¬ 
 plies, “ they attached to him the name of blasphemer , that 
 is, ‘evil-speaker; ’ but they who did so, one may be sure, 
 were those whose festering sores he had probed.” To his 
 bitter and persistent satirical assaults upon the established 
 religion, and upon the contending sects of (so-called) “ phi¬ 
 losophy,” we may be sure, not a few (ephemeral) replies 
 appeared : but no notices of them have come down to 
 us. While, however, the last echoes of pagan sacerdotal 
 or sectarian animosity, excited by his exposures, died away 
 at the establishment of Christianity, orthodox zeal, on the 
 other side, even still sometimes regards him as the declared 
 enemy of the Christian faith. The hostility of the earlier 
 Christian authorities had been aroused, in particular, by 
 two very famous Dialogues —the Peregrinus and the Philo - 
 patris (“ The Patriot ”). As for the latter, it has been proved, 
 
XV111 
 
 PREFACE. 
 
 beyond reasonable doubt, to have been the production of 
 a much later writer, bearing the same name as the reputed 
 author ; while, as for the former, the chief offence origi¬ 
 nated in a mistaken reading or interpretation of the text, 
 where allusion is made to the Founder of Christianity. 1 
 In fact, the brief allusions of the Greek satirist to the new 
 faith seem to discover less hostility than is displayed in 
 his ridicule of the rival Oriental creeds, of the established 
 religion itself, or of the popular systems of philosophy and 
 ethics. 
 
 If Lucian has been thus vilified by the ignorance or 
 malice of critics of early days, on the other hand, from the 
 first moment of his resurrection, at the restoration of 
 learning—from the first appearance of the editio princess, 
 in 1496—he received an enthusiastic recognition of his 
 rare merits from the best scholars of the time. Among 
 them towers conspicuously the illustrious Erasmus, one of 
 the earliest translators (1514), in conjunction with Sir 
 Thomas More, of the great master of Ridicule, whom he 
 himself so admirably imitates in his Encomium Morice 
 
 1 According to the text of Hemsterhuis and Lehmann, the especially 
 significant and highly interesting passage in question—by many critics 
 believed to have been purposely mutilated —reads as follows :—“ At 
 which time, he [Peregrinus] made himself thoroughly master of the 
 wonderful philosophy of the Christians, associating, in Palestine, with 
 their priests and scribes. And — for what need of details ?—in a short 
 time he brought them to be all mere children in his hands, aspiring to 
 the character of prophet, to be president of their public services, and con¬ 
 vener of their Assemblies ( θιασάρχης καί ξνναγωγενς), and he was, in fact, 
 all in all to them. Of their books some he interpreted and expounded, 
 many of them even he himself wrote ; and they regarded him in the 
 light of some divine being, set him up as their legislator, and chose 
 and publicly acknowledged him as their special patron [here occurs the 
 suspected hiatus]. They, in fact, worship that great man who was 
 crucified in Palestine, because of his introducing into the world this new 
 religious mystery (τελετήν).”— On the Death of Peregrinus. 11. For 
 μέγαν his earlier Christian critics seem to have read μάγον (“magician'’), 
 a reading which is approved by Gesner; while to the epithet “ won¬ 
 derful ” has been assigned an ironical meaning. Of Peregrinus a more 
 favourable account is given by Gellius (no very high authority), and 
 Ammianus Marcellinus (a late writer), as well as by the Christian 
 writers Athenagoras and Tertullian. The Philopatris (in which satirical 
 allusion is made to the visions of St. Paul) is assigned to the year 363, the 
 date of the Emperor Julian’s Persian expedition. Cf. Philopseudes. 16. 
 
PREFACE. 
 
 XIX 
 
 (“Praise of Folly”), and, not altogether so happily, in his 
 Colloquies. Citing the well-known verse of the Latin satirist- 
 poet, 
 
 Omne tulit punctum qui miscuit utile dulci. 
 
 he protests :—“ no one, if not Lucian, has succeeded in illus¬ 
 trating this truth. He has imitated the raillery, without 
 copying the wantonness, of the Old Comedy. Gracious 
 heaven ! [deum immortalem is his strong expletive of admira¬ 
 tion], with what sly humour, with what grace and elegance, 
 he touches everything ! With what power of sarcasm he 
 holds up every folly to ridicule, how he seasons everything 
 with his wonderful wit—touching no absurdity that he does 
 not cover with some irony or satire ! Such grace,” con¬ 
 tinues Erasmus, echoing the dictum of Archbishop Photius, 
 “ dominates in his style, there is so much felicity of inven¬ 
 tion, so much elegance in his wit, such pungency in his more 
 serious assaults; he so tickles with his allusions, so mingles 
 the grave with the gay, in such a way does he enunciate 
 truth with a smile, so admirably does he picture the 
 manners, the characters, the pursuits of men, as it were, 
 with a painter’s pencil; in such a manner does he display 
 things which we can not only read but actually see, that 
 whether one regards entertainment, or utility and instruc¬ 
 tion, there is no comedy, no satire, that has a right to be 
 put in competition with his Dialogues.” At the beginning 
 of the sixteenth century, at least, this high eulogy was 
 scarcely an exaggeration. 
 
 Among the Dialogues translated (into Latin) by Erasmus, 
 it is interesting to note, are the Timon and the Alexander; 
 by More (who, as an ecclesiastical zealot, and as Lord Chan¬ 
 cellor, so soon forgot the spirit of his author, and the 
 principles of his own Utopia ), the Menippus, the Philo- 
 pseudes (“The Lover of Lies”), and the Tyrannicide. Even 
 Melancthon, the associate of Luther in the Reformation 
 struggle in Germany, assisted in the work of annotating the 
 great sceptic (1527). Rabelais, although there is no evi¬ 
 dence that he took part in illustrating so congenial a mind, 
 must have been greatly indebted to him. Early in the next 
 century (1615) his most considerable French editor, Bour- 
 delot, enthusiastically maintains that, “ in proportion as the 
 
XX 
 
 PREFACE. 
 
 influence of Lucian’s writings was diffused, the love of 
 knowledge and virtue increased, which still resides in the 
 hearts of a few ; ” and goes so far as to affirm that by such 
 influence the culture, and even civilization, of the philoso¬ 
 pher’s native country perceptibly benefited in the succeeding 
 age. A Dutch critic, Hoogstraaten, believes him to have 
 been “not only the greatest genius of his own age, but even 
 of all antiquity.” These high eulogiums, for the most part, 
 have been repeated by later critics to the days of Hemster- 
 huis and Reitz (whose judicious settlement of the text, and 
 criticism and summary of the labours of preceding editors 
 and annotators, respectively, first made to the world a 
 worthy presentation of his genuine and attributed produc¬ 
 tions), and by competent judges of our own time. The 
 English historian of Greek Literature, J. W. Donaldson, 
 holds that “ his merits can scarcely be over-estimated,” 
 and “ considering him with reference to his own age, and 
 to the Literature of Greece,” justly adds the learned his¬ 
 torian, “ a position of the utmost importance must be 
 assigned to him, both in regard to the systems of religion 
 and of philosophy to which he gave the death-blow, and 
 in respect to the cultivation of a purer Greek style, which 
 he vainly taught and exemplified.” During the sixteenth 
 century sixty-five editions (in Greek or Latin), in the 
 seventeenth twenty-two, in the eighteenth forty-four (be¬ 
 sides translations), bore ample witness to the estimation 
 in which he was held by the learned world. In England 
 the first edition of him (and that only in part) did not 
 appear till 1677. The first version (in part) in 1634. No 
 English translation of any pretension appeared till that 
 of Carr (1775-1798), a spirited, but extremely free, presen¬ 
 tation of him, which was followed by that of Franklin, 
 Professor of Greek at Cambridge (1780), and of Tooke 
 (1820)—Franklin’s, although not very faithful or accu¬ 
 rate, being altogether the most valuable of the three chief 
 English presentations of Lucian. Of French translations, 
 Talbot’s (1857) has the greatest repute. Of German ver¬ 
 sions, that of Wieland, the well-known poet and romancist 
 (1788), is easily first; and, indeed, it is generally held to 
 be entitled to the foremost place among all attempts at a 
 modern representation of the Greek wit. 
 
PREFACE. 
 
 XXI 
 
 Lucian is almost encyclopaedic in the extent and rarity 
 of his productions — critic, moralist, philosopher, poli¬ 
 tician, poet, romancist, litterateur. Of the eighty-four 
 separate writings attributed to him, and published in the 
 editions of his works, not a few find an undeserved place 
 there. Some pieces of inferior merit are the production of 
 his earlier rhetorical period, and show sufficiently evident 
 traces of the stilted style characteristic of the fashionable 
 declamatory essay, as well in matter as in manner. Of his 
 undoubted productions, the shorter pieces— Dialogues of 
 the Gods, of the Sea-Gods, and of the Dead —by reason of 
 their popular subject-matter and peculiar graces of style, 
 have always been most generally read. His more con¬ 
 siderable masterpieces are Zeus the Tragedian , the Sale 
 of Lives, the Timon, the Ferry Boat, the Twice Accused, the 
 Fisherman, the Fugitives, the Banquet, the Convicted Zeus, 
 the Convention of the Gods, the Charon, the Icaro-Menippus, 
 the True History, the Brometheus, the Philopseudes, How 
 History Ought to be Written (the first attempt at a philo¬ 
 sophy of history, but not of sustained merit throughout), 
 the Peregrinus, On Sacrifices, On Mourning, and the Alex¬ 
 ander. In the Greek Anthology twenty Epigrams are ascribed 
 to a writer bearing the name of Lucian. Whether the 
 composition of the Lucian or not, they are by no means 
 unworthy of his genius , 1 and they are among the best in 
 the whole extensive Collection. 
 
 It is his theological Dialogues that have most contributed 
 
 1 Especially admirable are those numbered ix., xiii., xcvi. ( Westmin¬ 
 ster Selection ); xxxvm., lx., lxii., lxiii. {Eton Selection ); xxxn., 
 XL., CCLXI 1 I. {Edwards's Selection ), Bohn’s English edition, 1854. 
 E. g.: — “ The wealth of the soul is the only true wealth” (xx., Ed. S.). 
 “Let a seal on words not to be spoken lie on the tongue. A careful 
 watch over words is better than one over wealth ” (xl .,Ed. S. ). “Address 
 to the Gout: ”—“ O Goddess! who hatest the Poor, and art the sole 
 subduer of wealth, who knowest how to live ‘ well’ at all times, thou 
 delightest to be supported on strange feet, and knowest how to wear 
 shoes of felt, and ointments are a care to thee. Thee, too, garlands 
 delight, and the liquor of the Ausonian Bacchus. But these things 
 never exist, at any time, for the Poor. And, therefore, thou fliest from 
 the threshold of Poverty, that has no gold, and art delighted, on the 
 other hand, in coming to the feet of Wealth” (xxxii., Ed. S.). This 
 rich subject for satire inspired the burlesque drama of Lucian, entitled 
 Tragopodagra (“ Gout in Tragedy ”). 
 
XXII 
 
 PREFACE. 
 
 to his fame. The inimitable Hellenic arts of architecture 
 and of sculpture which adorned, disguised, and, in some 
 measure, served to redeem the character of the religion of 
 Zeus, or Jupiter, had long shown symptoms of decay, the 
 outward and visible sign of a corresponding coolness in the 
 “ religious ” feeling of the upper classes ; but the religion 
 of Homer and Hesiod still kept fast hold of the affections 
 of the body of the peoples (as it continued to do, in fact, 
 throughout the country districts, long after the State 
 recognition of Christianity), while the great majority of 
 the educated or influential sections of society regarded it 
 as a useful means of retaining the masses in subjection. 1 
 To undermine this imposing structure of mingled fraud 
 and imposture, the absurdities, the follies, and the hypo¬ 
 crisies of its various adherents, Lucian especially devoted 
 his almost unrivalled powers of wit and sarcasm ; and, if 
 ridicule could inflict a mortal wound, he might have been 
 well satisfied with his brilliant efforts. But reflection on 
 the history of the Past must sometimes have inspired him 
 with some misgiving, or even despair. For he was far 
 from having been the first to expose the character of the 
 orthodox Theology. In the drama, the most popular form 
 of literature in Hellas—in Tragedy, Euripides (of the school 
 of Sokrates) had, in the latter half of the fourth century, 
 given expression to the more rational belief of the best- 
 educated minds of the time ; in Comedy, the conservative 
 Aristophanes, in his inimitable dramas, whether purposely 
 or not, had held up to the most open and undisguised 
 contempt the most sacred objects of the national and 
 popular worship. In the two next centuries Scepticism 
 was rampant. In the lighter forms of literature, the Mimes 
 (“parodies”) of Sophron of Syrakuse, and the bitter 
 satires ( silloi , as they were termed) of Timon of Phlius, a 
 disciple of Pyrrho, whose name has given a synonym for 
 the extremest scepticism, held up to derision the occupants 
 of the national Pantheon. Such rationalistic writers, too, 
 as Euliemerus, author of the Sacred Inscriptions; Pala3- 
 phatus, author of the Incredible Legends; and, in parti¬ 
 cular, Menippus, were direct predecessors of the satirist of 
 
 1 For instances of this doctrine of Expediency, see the remarkably 
 candid admissions of Polybius and of Strabo. 
 
PREFACE. 
 
 XX11I 
 
 Samosata. But these more popular writers were not the 
 only assailants of the Pagan Pantheon : and it is enough 
 merely to mention the names of Anaxagoras, Xenophanes, 
 Demokritus, Zeno (the founder of the Stoic School), 
 Antisthenes (the founder of the most practical satirists, 
 the Cynics), and, above all, Epikurus, to recall their wide 
 divergences from, and sometimes direct assaults on, 
 the Olympian theology. To Lucian, however, as to Vol¬ 
 taire, in the last century, was reserved, in very special 
 degree, the work of popularizing and bringing within the 
 reach of the most ordinary intelligence the various labours 
 of his predecessors. Of his models in the Dialogue form of 
 writing, Plato and Xenophon are most commonly quoted: 
 but the eloquent founder of the Academy, and the author 
 of the (Economicus , rather improved than originated it. 
 Sophron of Syracuse, and Zeno of Elea in Italy, had already 
 brought it into use. In the following century, Antisthenes 
 also employed it. 
 
 As for the ethical character of Lucian, if we may trust 
 to his own representation of himself, it deserves high 
 praise. In the Dream, among the superior advantages 
 offered by Paideia, he gives prominent place to the virtues 
 of justice, mildness, and reasonableness. In his Revived· 
 Philosophers, he declares himself to be a hater of falsehood, 
 •of imposture,* of arrogance, of pride, a lover of truth, of 
 beauty, of sincerity, and all things lovely (δσα τω φιλεΊσθαι 
 συγγενή). He abandoned the profession of the Law from 
 disgust for its iniquity, or for the fraudulent methods of 
 its practisers. He engages, as he declares, in the war against 
 Falsehood quite conscious that he is fighting a desperate 
 battle—that the vast majority are against him ( Fisher¬ 
 man , 20). In his biography of his friend, Demonax, his 
 appreciation of that superior Cynic exhibits him as a 
 sympathetic admirer of true worth. In one department of 
 Morals—on the assumption of his having been the author 
 of the scandalous Erotes (“Loves”)—he has been made the 
 subject of undeserved censure; for its tedious dulness and 
 its frigid and sophisticated tone, alike foreign to Lucian’s 
 manner, prove it to be spurious. 
 
 It has been sometimes objected to Lucian’s philosophical 
 claims, that he made no attempt to build anew upon the ruins 
 
XXIV 
 
 PREFACE. 
 
 of the religious system overthrown by him. But, in the first 
 place, systems of “faith,” or “ morals,” already abounded 
 ad nauseam , and to have erected another system of “ philo¬ 
 sophy ” would have been only to add to the existing confu¬ 
 sion. The work immediately and urgently needed was 
 that of complete destruction, and the clearing of the ground 
 for the future dissemination of higher and nobler ideas. 
 This he did—at all events, as far as religionism and meta¬ 
 physical shams were concerned—with the persistent zeal 
 of a sincere reformer. In the second place, if the charge 
 be a substantial one, he shares the blame with almost every 
 destructive critic of after ages, whose opportunities for 
 establishing better faiths have been superior to his. The 
 charge to which he is more justly open—and it is the 
 only grave fault, perhaps, in his writings—is indiscrimi¬ 
 nation in his assaults on the philosophies of the day. His, 
 apparently, contemptuous treatment, in particular, of Pytha- 
 goreanism, the parent of Platonism, and the philosophical 
 school which was most productive of examples of the 
 higher virtues as well as of intellectual ability, deserves 
 censure. In his Sale of Lives, in the Revived Philosophers, 
 and in one of the Dialogues of the Dead in particular, he 
 seems to have yielded to the temptation—a sort of tempta¬ 
 tion to which great wits have always been liable—of utilizing 
 matter so promising as the ridiculous fables which the ene¬ 
 mies of Pythagoreanism abundantly supplied. 1 That among 
 the (self-styled) followers of Pythagoras were to be found 
 some pretenders, and not a few extravagant expositors of 
 his teaching—as such are found in all societies or sects— 
 is sufficiently probable; but to hold up indiscriminately to 
 ridicule what was, in the main, a meritorious system of 
 (ethical) philosophy—that, certainly, did not become the 
 character of a just critic. He lived, indeed, before the 
 appearance of the School of New or Newer Platonism, 
 
 1 In the Sale or Auction of Lives , Pythagoras, who responds to the 
 inquiries of the bidder, as to his qualifications, that he does “ not eat 
 the flesh of animals, but everything else except beans,” is sold at the 
 price of forty pounds. Epikurus (to whose school, if to any, Lucian 
 himself belonged), or rather anEpikurean, is sold for only eight pounds. 
 Yet, in his Alexander he speaks of the founder of “ The Garden ” almost 
 with the profound reverence and esteem of Lucretius. 
 
PREFACE. 
 
 XXV 
 
 whose founders, Plotinus, Ammonius, and Porphyry (the 
 most erudite of all the later Greek scholars), belong to the 
 following century. Extravagant as may have been some of 
 their speculations, the New-Platonists, by their noble, if 
 hopelessly futile, attempts to reform and spiritualize the 
 established religion, and by their noble protests against the 
 gross practical Materialism of life, have deserved (equally 
 with the early Christians), among the various contending 
 sects of religion or philosophy, very high esteem. Had he 
 witnessed their self-denying lives, and been acquainted with 
 their exalted ideas and aspirations, we may with some con¬ 
 fidence believe that he would have done justice to their 
 real merits, as distinguished from the errors of judgment 
 which lay on the surface, and which were the inevitable 
 outcome of the scientific defects of the age. 
 
 The present volume includes what may be termed the 
 principal theological Dialogues. In the spelling of Greek 
 names, in the transitional and unsettled state of Greek 
 orthography in this country, any attempt to adopt a more 
 natural method must, necessarily, be a compromise : hence 
 the present version is open to the charge of some ortho¬ 
 graphical inconsistency. As for the translation itself, the 
 method adopted has been to adhere as closely to the ori¬ 
 ginal as essential differences of idiom allow : to represent 
 Lucian’s peculiar graces of style no translator can reason¬ 
 ably aspire. The versions, entire or partial, which have 
 appeared up to this time, however spirited they may be— 
 and the German Wieland surpasses all his rivals in this 
 respect, in whose hands, as Lehmann expresses it, “ all 
 Lucian lives and breathes ”—for the most part are not 
 distinguished by any very strict fidelity to their original. 
 The text followed is that of the great work of Hemsterhuis 
 and Reitz (in Lehmann’s edition), which has been com¬ 
 pared with the alternative readings adopted by Jacobitz. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 i. 
 
 PROMETHEUS OBTAINS HIS RELEASE FROM ZEUS BY A PROPHECY. 
 
 Prometheus and Zeus. 1 
 
 Prometheus. Set me free, 0 Zeus, for I have already 
 endured dreadful sufferings. 
 
 Zeus. Set you free, say you ? you who ought to have 
 heavier fetters, and all Caucasus heaped on your head ; and 
 not only your liver gnawed 2 by sixteen vultures, but also 
 your eyes scooped out, in return for your fashioning such 
 animals as men, and for stealing my fire, and fabricating 
 women. As for the tricks you put upon me in your distri¬ 
 bution of the flesh meats, in. offering me bones wrapped up 
 in fat, and reserving the better portion of the pieces for 
 yourself, why need I speak P 
 
 Prometheus. Have I then not paid enough penalty, nailed 
 for such a long period of time to Caucasus, 3 supporting that 
 most cursed of winged creatures, the vulture, 4 with my 
 liver ? 
 
 1 Cf. Hesiod, 0eoy. 510-560, Ερ. και Ήμ. 48-58; .iEschylus, Προμ. 
 Δεσμ. ; and the ΤΙρομηθενς μ Καύκασος of I/ucian. 
 
 2 Κ είρεσθαι. Lit. “shorn” or “cropped” (i tonderi ), like hair which 
 grows again. The vital parts of Prometheus were each day renewed. 
 
 3 According to iEschylus, Prometheus was destined to suffer for 
 some thousands of years before the advent of his saviour, Herakles, 
 would deliver him from his agonies. Hyginus, the Fabulist, reduces 
 the time to the comparatively trilling period of thirty years. But, as 
 Wieland not unjustly observes, who would look for chronological 
 accuracy in myth and miracle ? 
 
 4 ’Αετόν. Strictly, an “ eagle.” ’Αετός and γύψ are indiscriminately 
 used by the mythologists for the torturers of Prometheus. 
 
ο 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 Zeus. Not an infinitesimal part that of what you ought 
 to suffer. 
 
 Prometheus. Yet you shall not release me without recom¬ 
 pense. But I will impart something to you, Zeus, ex¬ 
 ceedingly important. 
 
 Zeus. You are for outwitting me, Prometheus. 
 
 Prometheus. And what advantage should I gain P For 
 you will not be ignorant hereafter of the whereabouts of 
 Kaucasus ; neither will you be in want of chains, should I 
 be caught playing you any trick. 
 
 Zeus. Say, first, what sort of equivalent you will pay, of 
 so much importance to us. 
 
 Prometheus. If I tell you for what purpose you are now 
 on your travels, shall I have credit with you, when I 
 prophesy about the rest ? 
 
 Zeus. Of course. 
 
 Prometheus. You are off to Thetis, to an intrigue with her. 
 
 Zeus. That indeed you have correct knowledge of. But 
 what then, after that ? For you seem to have some inkling 
 of the truth. 
 
 Prometheus. Don’t have anvthinor to do with the Nereid, 
 Zeus: for, if she should be pregnant by you, her progeny 
 will treat you exactly as you, too, treated 1 - 
 
 Zeus. This do you assert—that I shall be expelled from 
 my kingdom ? 
 
 Prometheus. Heaven forbid, Zeus ! Intercourse with her, 
 however, threatens something of the kind. 
 
 Zeus. Good-bye to Thetis, then. And as for you, for 
 these timelij learnings Hephcestus shall set you free. 
 
 1 But for the very hasty interruption of Zeus, Prometheus would 
 have added—“ Cronos and Khea,” the parents of the present usurping 
 King of Gods and Men, dethroned by their unnatural son. See Ov. 
 Metam. xi. 221-228, where it is Proteus who gives the warning predic¬ 
 tion to Thetis. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 3 
 
 II. 
 
 ZEUS THREATENS TO PUT EROS IN FETTERS. 
 
 Eros and Zeus. 
 
 Eros. Well, if I have really done wrong at all, Zeus, 
 pardon me : for I am but an infant, and still without sense. 
 
 Zeus. You an infant—you the Eros, who are far older 
 than Iapetus P 1 Because you have not grown a beard, and 
 don’t show gray hairs, do you really claim on that account 
 to be considered an infant, when, in fact, you are an old 
 scamp ? 
 
 Eros. But what great injury have I—the old scamp, as 
 you call me—done you, that you intend putting me in 
 irons ? 
 
 Zeus. Consider, accursed rascal, whether they are trifling 
 injuries you have done me, you, who make such sport of 
 me, that there is nothing which you have not turned me 
 into—satyr, bull, gold, swan, eagle 2 —but not any one of 
 them have you made to be in love with me at all ; nor 
 have I perceived that, for anything that depends upon you, 
 I have been agreeable to any woman; but I am obliged to 
 have recourse to juggling tricks against them, and to 
 conceal my proper self, while they are really in love with 
 the bull or swan, and, if they have but a glimpse of me, 
 they die of fear. 3 
 
 Eros. Naturally enough, Zeus, for, being mortal women, 
 they can’t endure the sight of your person. 
 
 1 One of the Titans, progenitor of the human race, son of Uranus and 
 Ge, and father of Prometheus. “ As old as Iapetus ” was a proverb 
 with the Greeks, equivalent to our “ as old as Adam.’’ Cf. Hesiod θεογ. 
 120; Plato Σνμπ. ad init., θ. Δ. vii. 1. and Aristoph. N εφ. 985. 
 
 2 An epigram in the Greek Anthologia thus sums up some of the 
 principal liaisons, and the mistresses, of the King of Gods and Men :— 
 
 “ Ζευς κύκνος, ταύρος , σάτνρος, χρυσός δι’ έρωτα 
 Λήδης, Ευρώπης, ’Αντιόπης, Αανάης.” 
 
 But the catalogue is incomplete. Besides these heroines, have been 
 commemorated Io, Alkmena, Semele, Kallisto, Klytoria, Asteria, Angina, 
 Mnemosyne. 
 
 3 Like Semele, the Theban princess, mother of Bacchus. 
 
4 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 Zeus. How is it, then, that Branchus 1 and Hyacinthus 
 love Apollo ? 
 
 Eros. But even from him the beauty, Daphne, fled away, 
 for all his flowing locks and beardless chin. If you wish to 
 be loved, don’t shake your aegis, and don’t take your 
 thunderbolt with you ; but make yourself as agreeable as 
 you can, letting down your locks on both sides of your 
 face, and tying them up again under your coronet; wear a 
 fine purple dress, put on golden sandals, step along keeping 
 time to the sounds of the pipe and cymbals, and you will 
 see that more women will follow you than all the Maenads 
 of Bacchus. 
 
 Zeus. Get away with you. I would not take the offer of 
 being loved, on condition of becoming such a figure. 
 
 Eros. Then, Zeus, don’t wish to love, either : that, at all 
 events, is an easy matter. 
 
 Zeus. Hot so; but I do wish to love, and to enjoy their 
 society in a less vexatious fashion. Upon this, and this 
 condition alone, I let you go. 
 
 III. 
 
 ZEUS ORDERS HERMES TO SLAY ARGUS, AND TO CONDUCT 
 
 10 TO EGYPT. 
 
 Zeus and Hermes. 
 
 Zeus. Hermes, you know the daughter of Inachus, the 
 famous beauty ? 
 
 Hermes. Yes, you mean the far-famed Io. 
 
 Zeus. She is no longer a girl, but a heifer. 
 
 Hermes. Prodigious that! But how was she trans¬ 
 formed ? 
 
 Zeus. Hera, in a fit of jealousy, metamorphosed her, 2 and 
 
 1 Son of Apollo by a lady of Miletus, from whom the Branchidae, the 
 guardians of the Oracle of Apollo at Miletus, who surrendered the 
 treasures of their temple to Darius, derived their descent. For Hyacin¬ 
 thus see θ. Δ. x. 11 ·, and Ovid, Metam. x. 162-219. 
 
 2 According to Ovid {Metam. i. 13-17), it w as Jupiter himself who 
 effected the metamorphosis, to save the Argive princess from the rage of 
 Juno. Cf. Ει/αλ. Διαλ. vii. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 c 
 
 u 
 
 not only that, but she has also contrived another sort of 
 new mischief against the unfortunate girl. She has 
 appointed a certain cowkeeper with eyes all over him, who 
 tends the heifer with sleepless care. 
 
 Hermes. What must I do, then ? 
 
 Zeus. Fly down to Nemea—it’s somewhere there that 
 Argus tends his charge—and kill him off. But as for Io, 
 bring her away by sea to Egypt, and transform her into Isis. 1 
 And, for the future, let her be a divinity to the people of 
 the country, and let her raise the Nile, and send favourable 
 winds, and be the patron-saint of sailors. 2 
 
 IY. 
 
 ZEUS INSTRUCTS GANTMEDES AS TO THE NATURE OF HIS 
 
 DUTIES IN HEAVEN. 
 
 Zeus and Ganymedes. 
 
 Zeus. Come, Ganymede—for we have arrived at the 
 proper place—kiss me now, that you may know that I have 
 no longer crooked beak, nor sharp talons, nor wings such 
 as I appeared to you, under the semblance of a bird. 3 
 
 1 For this, one of the most famous of the metamorphoses of the Greek 
 Theology, see Ovid, Metam. i. 13-17. Io appears as one of the dramatis 
 persona of the Π ρομήθενς Αεσμώτης of iEschylus, where she is represented 
 as brought in her wanderings to the Caucasian Valley, in which Pro¬ 
 metheus was impaled, and bewails the διαφθοράν μορφής , as she terms 
 it. Cf. the T ιάτιδες of the same dramatist. Strabo, Diodorus, Apollo- 
 dorus, and Pausanias add particulars to the Ovidian story. Evidently 
 the Greeks derived the myth, in the first instance, from the Egyptian 
 priests. 
 
 2 Votive tablets and pictures, suspended in the temples of Isis, 
 recorded the gratitude of rescued passengers and sailors to their pro¬ 
 tectress. Pictores quis nescit ab Iside pasci? demands Juvenal (xii. 28). 
 The Egyptian goddess was in especial favour with the Roman ladies, and 
 her temples were little else than convenient places of assignation.—Juv. 
 Sat. vi. 489. Pausanias ('Ελλάδος ΤΙεριήγησις, x. 32) describes the ritual 
 of one of the temples, or shrines, of Isis in Phocis—“ the holiest ” of all 
 her Greek sanctuaries—and records the punishment of certain rash and 
 inquisitive intruders. “ So,” adds Pausanias, “ Homer’s word seems true 
 that the Gods are not seen by mortals with impunity.”—See Bohn’s 
 Series. 
 
 3 Some authorities represent Zeus as himself, in the shape of his 
 
6 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 Ganymedes. Were you not an eagle but just now, fellow, 
 and did you not pounce down and carry me off from the 
 midst of my flock ? How then have those feathers fallen 
 off from you entirely, and you have now come out in quite 
 a different character ? 
 
 Zeus. But, my dear boy, you see neither a man nor an 
 eagle : but it is I here, the king of all the gods, who have 
 metamorphosed myself at the right moment. 
 
 Ganymedes. How ? what, are you the great Pan ? Then 
 how haven’t you a syrinx, or horns, and hairy legs ? 1 
 
 Zeus. Why, do you take him to be the only divinity ? 
 
 Ganymedes. Yes, and we sacrifice to him an uncastrated 
 he-goat, bringing him to the grotto where the god stands. 
 But as for you, you seem to me to be some kidnapping 
 slave-dealer 2 or other. 
 
 Zeus. Tell me, have you never heard the name of Zeus, 
 nor seen on Gargarus an altar to the Bain-Sender, and 
 Thunderer, and Lightener ? 
 
 Ganymedes. Do you say, fine Sir, 3 that you are the same 
 who but lately poured down on us that quantity of hail, 
 who are said to live up above, who make such a din, to 
 whom my father sacrificed a ram ? Then, how have I 
 wronged you that you have carried me off, 0 king of the 
 Gods ? Already, I doubt, will the wolves be falling upon 
 my unprotected sheep and tearing them to pieces. 
 
 Zeus. What! Have you, who have been made immortal, 
 
 favourite eagle, carrying off his future cup-bearer; while others are 
 content with the agency of the ‘ ‘ royal bird.” Ovid ( Metam . x. 4) is 
 among the former. Hesiod knows, or says, nothing of the story of the 
 rcipti Ganymedis honores. According to the Iliad , the rape of the hand¬ 
 some son of the Phrygian king is effected by all the gods in a body, 
 (xx. 232-5). The scene, usually, is laid on Mt. Ida. Cicero ( Tusc. 
 Qucest. i. 26) will not listen to Homer on this matter. 
 
 1 The proper appendages, in the popular belief, of the rural divinity, 
 as displayed in Theocritus and Virgil. 
 
 2 ’Ανδραποδιστής. How flourishing a profession was that of the kid¬ 
 napper in Greek society, may be seen in the Comedies of Plautus and 
 Terence, who borrowed their plots from the Greeks. He makes a con¬ 
 spicuous figure, also, in the Greek Romances—in particular, in the 
 Theagenes and Charikleia of Heliodorus. (See Bohn’s Series.) 
 
 3 Ώ Βελτίστε. Translated feine Herr by Wieland, who remarks that 
 the Greek expression has a certain comic force hardly to be conveyed in 
 our language. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 7 
 
 and who are to live with ns here, still a regard for your 
 sheep ? 
 
 Ganymedes. How do you say ? Then will you not this 
 very day take me down home to Ida ? 
 
 Zeus. By no means. In that case, I should have changed 
 from a God into an eagle to no purpose. 
 
 Ganymedes. My father, then, will certainly be looking for 
 me, and be angry at not finding me, and I shall be whipped 
 by and bye for having left my flock. 
 
 Zeus. Why, where will he see you P 
 
 Ganymedes. Don’t keep me , please , for I am already 
 longing to see him. And, if you will take me back, I 
 promise you another ram shall be sacrificed by him as my 
 ransom. We have the three-year-old one—that fine one, 
 who leads the flock to pasture. 
 
 Zeus {aside'). How simple and innocent is the child—a 
 child yet all over, truly ! But, my dear Ganymede, bid 
 farewell to all those things and forget them, your flock, and 
 Ida; and you from this place—for you are now enrolled 
 among the celestials—will do many services both to your 
 father and to your country; and, instead of cheese and 
 milk, you will eat ambrosia and drink nectar: this latter, 
 indeed, you shall yourself pour out, and offer to the rest of 
 us. But, what is more than all, you will no longer be 
 mortal, but shall become immortal, and I will make your 
 star shine very bright, 1 2 and, in a word, you shall be happy. 
 
 Ganymedes. And if I want to play, who will play with 
 me ? On Ida there were many of us, playmates of the 
 same age. 
 
 Zeus. Here, too, you have a playmate—Eros there, and 
 any number of knuckle-bones.' Only cheer up, and be bright, 
 and don’t hanker after any of the things down below there. 
 
 Ganymedes. In what way, please, can I be of use to you ? 
 Must I look after flocks and herds here, too ? 
 
 1 Under the name of Ύδρηχόος (Aquarius). Hemsterliuis observes 
 that “ Hadrian [the Emperor] very fairly imitated Jupiter, and claimed 
 so much of the stars as his own by right as to insert his Ganymede, 
 the dead Antinous, among them : indeed, he wished it to appear that he 
 had discovered his new star/’ Cf. Suidas. 
 
 2 ’Αστράγαλους. (Lat. talos.) A favourite game, from very early 
 times, with the Greek women and children. See Becker’s Chariclcs. 
 
8 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 Zeus. No, but you shall pour wine into the goblet, and 
 you shall be placed in charge of the nectar, and shall have 
 the care of the Banqueting-Hall. 
 
 Ganymedes. That’s no hard matter, for I know how to 
 pour in milk, and to pass about the milk-bowl. 
 
 Zeus (aside). There again he is thinking of his milk, and 
 fancies that he will have to wait upon mortals.—But this 
 is heaven here, and we drink, as I told you, the celestial 
 nectar. 
 
 Ganymedes. Is it sweeter than milk, Zeus ? 
 
 Zeus. You shall know for yourself shortly ; and, when 
 you have once tasted it, you will not again have any 
 longing for your milk. 
 
 Ganymedes. But where shall I sleep at night ? with my 
 playfellow, Eros P 
 
 Zeus. No. I carried you off on this account—that we 
 might sleep together. 
 
 Ganymedes. Why, could j^ou not sleep alone; but is it 
 pleasanter to you to sleep with me ? 
 
 Zeus. Yes, with such an one as you, Ganymede, so hand¬ 
 some as you are. 
 
 Ganymedes. Why, how will handsome looks give you 
 pleasure, in respect to sleep ? 
 
 Zeus They have a certain sweet charm, and bring it on 
 more softlv. 
 
 t/ 
 
 Ganymedes. Yet my father used to be annoyed with me, 
 when I slept in the same bed with him, and used to tell me 
 in the morning liow I had taken away his sleep by my 
 restlessness and kicking, and talking in my sleep : for 
 which reason he would generally send me to bed with my 
 mother. If it v r as on that account, as you say, that you 
 carried me off, it is high time for you to put me down on 
 the Earth again; or you will be annoyed by being kept 
 awake, for I shall disturb you by my continual tossing’ 
 about. 
 
 Zeus. In doing that very thing you will most please me 
 —since I shall keep awake with you in frequent kisses and 
 embraces. 
 
 Ganymedes. You would have to see to that yourself. As 
 for me, while you are kissing me, I shall lull myself to 
 sleep. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 9 
 
 Zeus. AYe shall know what is to be done then.—But now 
 take him away, Hermes; and when he has quaffed im¬ 
 mortality, 1 bring him to us to be onr cup-bearer, haying, 
 first of all, instructed him how he is to hand his cup. 
 
 Y. 
 
 HERA UPBRAIDS ZEUS WITH HIS LOVE FOR GANYMEDES. 
 
 Hera and Zeus. 
 
 Hera. Ever since, Zeus, you carried off that Phrygian 
 youth from Ida, and brought him up here, you pay me less 
 attention. 
 
 Zeus. AVhat, are you really jealous, Hera, already, about 
 so simple and very innocent an affair as that r I thought 
 you were hard only upon the women, who might happen to 
 be intimate with me. 
 
 Hera. Your conduct not even in those matters is proper, 
 or becoming to yourself—you, the liege lord of all the 
 gods, to desert me, your lawful, wedded wife, and go down 
 to Earth to intrigue in the shape of gold, or of a satyr, or 
 of a bull. But, at least, those females of yours remain on 
 Earth, while this youth from Ida you snatched up and flew 
 off with, O most respectable of gods, 2 actually lives with 
 us, put over my head; a cup-bearer, to be sure—in name. 
 AVere you so desperately at a loss for butlers, and have 
 Hebe and Hephoestus really become worn out in the ser¬ 
 vice ? And you—you will not take the cup from him 
 otherwise than first kissing him in the sight of us all; and 
 the kiss is sweeter to you than nectar, and, on that account, 
 
 1 Cf. IX. i. 595-600. Apuleius, the contemporary of Lucian, concludes 
 the story of Psyche with a similar scene, when the persecuted bride of 
 Eros is admitted to the privilege of immortality and the society of the 
 Celestials by drinking nectar. With the Pythagoreans, ambrosia and 
 nectar were favourite metaphors for the highest spiritual and intellectual 
 enjoyments. “ If,” says Iamblichus, “ partaking of this divine food (of 
 Knowledge) cannot make men immortal, at least it will make them 
 acquainted with matters of eternal import.” 
 
 2 Some MSS. have άετων, “ most respectable of eagles.” 
 
10 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 you are constantly asking to drink, without even being 
 thirsty. When, too, after just tasting it, you hand back 
 the cup to him, and after he has drunk, you receive it 
 from him again, you quaff off the remainder from the 
 place where the boy has drunk from, and where he has 
 applied his lips, that you may drink and kiss at one and 
 the same moment. Nay, but just now you, the King and 
 father of the universe, laid aside aegis and thunderbolt, 
 and sat down to a game of knuckle-bones with him, with 
 all that big beard you have grown. 1 All these fine doings 
 I see, so don’t suppose you are unobserved. 
 
 Zeus. And what dreadful crime is it, Hera, to kiss so 
 fair a youth between cups, and to derive pleasure from 
 both—the kiss and the nectar ? If, believe me, I were to 
 allow him to kiss you once even, you would never again 
 blame me for thinking the kiss preferable to the nectar. 
 
 Hera. This is the talk of a paederast! But, for my part, 
 may I never be so mad as to offer my lips to this soft 
 Phrygian boy, so completely effeminated as he is. 
 
 Zeus. Do not upbraid me, most admirable of goddesses, 
 with loves of this sort : 2 for this youth, effeminate, a 
 foreigner, soft and girlish as he is, is more agreeable to 
 me and more desirable than—but I have no wish to say it, 
 not to further provoke you. 
 
 Hera. Would that you would even marry him, for my 
 own sake ! Don’t forget, however, how offensively you 
 
 1 Here, as elsewhere, in his references to the personal appearance of 
 the members of the Greek Pantheon, Lucian is describing the well- 
 known characteristics of the famous representations of them in Art. 
 In the present instance, the Zeus of Pheidias at Olympia was, doubtless, 
 especially in Lucian’s mind, the most famous of the representations of 
 the “Thunderer;” as the “Athena Parthenos” and “Athena Pro¬ 
 machos” of the same eminent sculptor, on the Acropolis at Athens, 
 and the Cnidian Aphrodite of Praxiteles were of Athena and Aphrodite. 
 
 2 Τοίς παιδικές. Supply ερωσι. Lucian satirizes an unnatural vice 
 especially prevalent in his time, and, probably, had in mind, in particular, 
 the shameful attachment of the late Homan Emperor, Hadrian, for the 
 famous Bithynian youth, Antinous, in whose honour, as is well known, 
 temples and statues were erected throughout the Empire. Pausanias, 
 the Greek traveller and antiquary of the second century, a contemporary 
 of Antinous, informs us that Mantinea, in Arcadia, was especiallj r rich 
 in statues and paintings of the handsome favourite, whose death is in¬ 
 volved in circumstances of so much mystery (viii. 9). 
 
DIALOGUES OP THE GODS. 
 
 11 
 
 insult me, in your cups, on account of this male Hebe of 
 yours. 
 
 Zeus. Hot so : but that son of yours, Hephaestus, must 
 needs act as butler, with his limping gait, coming straight 
 from his forge, still covered all over with sparks, his fire- 
 tongs only just laid aside : and from those fingers of his I 
 had to receive the goblet, and drawing him to me to greet 
 him with a salute between while, whom not even you, his 
 mother, would kiss with any pleasure, with his face com¬ 
 pletely blackened with soot. 1 The present arrangement is 
 much more agreeable: for will you say that it is not so ? 
 That cup-bearer of yours certainly excellently becomes the 
 table of the gods; while Ganymede must be sent down 
 back to Ida—for he is clean, and rosy-fingered, and hands 
 the goblet deftly; and, what most vexes you, gives kisses 
 more sweet than nectar. 
 
 Hera. Yes. Hephaestus is lame now, and his fingers are 
 not fit to touch your cup, and he is covered with soot, and 
 the sight of him turns you sick—ever since Ida produced 
 that handsome youth with the flowing locks. Yet, for¬ 
 merly, you did not observe these things; neither the sparks 
 nor the forge turned your stomach so as to prevent your 
 drinking from his hand. 
 
 Zeus. You plague yourself to no purpose, Hera, while 
 you intensify my love for him by your jealousy. Well, if 
 you are annoyed at receiving the goblet from a beautiful 
 boy, let your son pour out your wine, and as for you, 
 Ganymede, hand the cup only to myself, and at each time 
 kiss me twice: when you offer it full, and again whenever 
 you take it back from me.—What’s this ? In tears P Don’t 
 be afraid; if any one has any intention of annoying you 
 he will have cause to lament. 
 
 1 Cf. Ιλ. i. 600; xviii. 410-415 ; Juv. Sat. xiii. 43-45. 
 
12 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 VI. 
 
 IXION MAKES LOYE TO HEEA. 
 
 Hera and Zeus. 
 
 Hera. This Ixion, 1 Zeus, what sort of character do you 
 take him to be ? 
 
 Zeus. A good kind of man, and a boon companion : for 
 he would not associate with us, had he been unworthy of 
 our table. 
 
 Hera. But he is unworthy of it, for he is an insolent 
 fellow : so let him not live with us any longer. 
 
 Zeus. Of what insolence or injury has he been guilty, 
 pray ? Bor J ought to know too, I think. 
 
 Hera. Insolence 1 and what else—I blush, however, to 
 mention it, such was his daring impertinence. 
 
 Zeus. Yet that is the more reason you should tell me, 
 in proportion to the baseness of his attempt. Surely he 
 has not attempted any one’s virtue, has he P For I under¬ 
 stand the disgraceful conduct to be something of a kind 
 which you would shrink from telling me. 
 
 Hera. On mine, and no one else’s has he made his assaults , 
 now for a long time past. At first I was ignorant of the 
 reason why he kept staring fixedly at me, while he would 
 sigh and secretly drop a tear ; and whenever, after drinking, 
 I handed the beaker to Ganymede, he would ask to 
 drink from the very same place, and would take and kiss 
 it between while, and put it to his eyes, and again stare at 
 me. These actions I now began to perceive to be amorous 
 signs. For a long time I felt ashamed to speak to you, 
 and thought that the fellow would cease from his mad 
 folly. But when he dared to make his advances to me in 
 words, I left him still in tears, and prostrate at my feet; 
 and stopping my ears, not to hear even his insolent en- 
 
 1 The “perfidious” king of the Lapithae (father of Peirithous), who 
 had been pardoned by Zeus after a foul murder, and received into 
 heaven, where it was permitted him to sit at the Olympian table. lie 
 does not appear among the eminent criminals whom Odysseus meets in 
 Hades, nor is he mentioned by Hesiod. Pindar (Πυθ. n.) exhibits him 
 as a terrible warning. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 13 
 
 treaties, I came away to tell you. Now do you yourself 
 look to it·, in what manner you shall punish the man. 
 
 Zeus. Is this the fine return the cursed villain makes to 
 myself—even so far as to aspire to the favours of Hera ? 
 Has he become so drunk on our nectar ? But we ourselves 
 are the cause of these outrages, and are out of all measure 
 philanthropic, in making men our boon-companions. They 
 have some excuse, therefore, if, while drinking on equal 
 terms with us, and beholding celestial beauties, and of a 
 sort they never have seen on earth, overpowered by love, 
 they eagerly long to enjoy them. Well, Love is an intract¬ 
 able sort of creature, and governs not only men, but even 
 ourselves sometimes. 
 
 Hera. Of you he certainly is very much the master, and 
 drives and leads you captive, “ dragging you,” as they say,, 
 “ by the nose; ” and you follow him wherever he may lead 
 you, and he easily transforms you into whatever he wishes ; 
 and, in fine, you are the mere possession and plaything of 
 Love. And now I know well why you extend your pardon 
 to Ixion—inasmuch as you yourself had an intrigue with 
 his wife, who presented you with that Peirithous of yours.* 
 
 Zeus. What! Must you be for ever bringing up to mind 
 those little trifles —whatever sport I have gone down to 
 Earth and enjoyed P But do you know what I have in my 
 mind about Ixion ? By no means to punish him, nor to· 
 expel him from our table ; for that would be an uncourteous 
 act. And since he is in love, and as you say, falls to tears, 
 and feels unendurable- 
 
 Hera. What are you going to utter , Zeus? For I am 
 
 1 Peirithous, reputed son of Ixion, it seems, was the son of Zeus by 
 Dia, Ixion’s wife. Seneca represents Juno as bitterly complaining of 
 the infidelities of her lord:— 
 
 “ Soror tonantis—hoc enim solum mihi 
 
 Nomen relictum est .... 
 
 Locumque, ccelo pulsa, pellicibus dedi. 
 
 Tellus colenda est: peliices ccelum tenent.” 
 
 Hercules Furens. 
 
 See II. i. 535-570 ; iv. 5-67; xv. 15-35, for other memorable grounds, 
 for complaint on the part of the queen of heaven. Pausanias (ix. 3), 
 relates a pleascint story of the ingenuity of Zeus, on one occasion, in,, 
 appeasing her jealousy. 
 
14 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 afraid yon, too, are on the point of saying something im¬ 
 pertinent. 
 
 Zeus. Not at all. But let us form a phantom out of a 
 clotid like your very self, and when the dinner party is 
 broken up, and he, as is highly probable, is keeping his 
 vigils, under the influence of his passion, let us carry it 
 and lay it down by his side. In this way he would cease 
 to be plagued; supposing he had had what he wanted. 
 
 Hera. Get away with you. Plague take him for indulg¬ 
 ing hopes beyond his station. 1 
 
 Zeus. Put up with it, however, my dear Hera, for what 
 terrible harm could you get from the counterfeit figure, if 
 Ixion shall have to do with a mere cloud ? 
 
 Hera. Yes, but I shall be supposed to be the cloud, and 
 he will perpetrate upon me his foul purpose, through the 
 resemblance. 
 
 Zeus. Your objection is nothing to the purpose. For 
 neither will the cloud ever be Hera, nor will you be a 
 cloud, while Ixion will only be deceived. 
 
 Hera. But all men are so vulgar-minded and without 
 good taste, when he goes down he will, probably, talk big 
 and recount to everybody that he has enjoyed the favours 
 of Hera, and shared the bed of Zeus; and, maybe, he will 
 even assert that I am in love with him; and, not knowing 
 it was a cloud he was with, they will believe him. 
 
 Zeus. Then, if he should say anything of the kind, the 
 wretch shall be thrown into hell, be bound to a wheel, and 
 carried round with it for ever and ever, and shall suffer 
 everlasting torture, paying the penalty not of his love—for 
 that, surely, is not so dreadful a crime—but of his loud 
 boasting. 2 
 
 1 Mr) ωραισιν 'ίκοιτο των νττερ αυτόν επιθνμών. Cf. Lucian, Περί 
 Ο ρχήσεως, ν. Aristoph. Ανσιστράτη 1037. An old Attic form of impre¬ 
 cation, as to the exact meaning of which the commentators are at 
 variance. Another reading is ώρας. 
 
 2 “ It must be understood that Jupiter, with all his joviality , was a 
 great master in the invention of horrible tortures and punishments; 
 and he speaks in the true tone of a dilettante in such matters.”—Wieland. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 15 
 
 VII. 
 
 HEPH^STUS RECOUNTS TO APOLLO THE ACTIONS OF THE 
 INFANT PRODIGY, HERMES. 
 
 Apollo and Hephcestus. 
 
 Hephaestus. Apollo, have you seen Maia’s baby, which 
 is just born ? What a pretty thing it is, and how it smiles 
 on every one, and already plainly shows he is going to turn 
 out some great treasure ! 
 
 Apollo. That a baby, or a great treasure, who is older 
 than Iapetus himself, as far as depends on rascality ! 
 
 Hephcestus. And what possible mischief could an infant 
 just bom be able to do P 
 
 Apollo. Ask Poseidon, whose trident he stole, or Ares; 
 for even from the latter he abstracted his sword from the 
 sheath without being found out, not to speak of myself, 
 whom he disarmed of my bow and arrows. 
 
 Hephaestus. The new-born brat did this, who hardly keeps 
 on his feet, who is still in his long clothes ? 
 
 Apollo. You will know well enough, Hephaestus, if only 
 he come near you. 
 
 Hephcestus. Indeed, he already has been near me. 
 
 Apollo. Well, have you all your tools, and is none of 
 them missing ? 
 
 Hephcestus. All of them are safe , my dear Apollo. 
 
 Apollo. All the same, examine carefully. 
 
 Hephcestus. By heaven! I don’t see my fire-tongs. 
 
 Apollo. Ho, but you will probably see them among the 
 infant’s swaddling clothes. 
 
 Hephcestus. Is he so light-fingered, for all the world as 
 though he had mastered the purloining art in his mother’s 
 womb ? 
 
 Apollo. No iconder you ash, for you have not heard his 
 glib and voluble prattling. He is, besides, quite ready to 
 wait upon us. And yesterday he challenged Eros, and 
 wrestled with him and threw him, somehow tripping up 
 his feet. Then, while he was getting praised for it, he 
 stole Aphrodite’s cestus, as she was folding him to her 
 breast on account of his victory; and, while he was laugh- 
 
16 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 ing, the sceptre of Zeus, also. And, if the thunder-holt 
 were not a little too heavy, and had a good deal of fire in 
 ifc, he would have filched that too. 
 
 Hephaestus. The child you describe is a regular Gorgon. 
 
 Apollo. Not only so, but already he is a musical genius, 
 also. 
 
 Hevhcestus. From what can you draw your inference as 
 to that ? 
 
 Apollo. Somewhere or other he found a dead tortoise, 
 and from it formed a musical instrument: for, having fitted 
 in the horns (or side-pieces) and joined them by a bar, he 
 next fixed pegs, and inserted a bridge beneath them ; and, 
 after stretching seven strings upon it, he set about playing 
 a very pretty and harmonious tune, so that even I, practised 
 as I have long been in playing the cithara, 1 envied him. 
 And Maia assured us that not even his nights would he 
 pass in heaven, but from mere busybodyness he would de¬ 
 scend as far as Hades, to steal something from thence, I 
 suppose. He is furnished with wings, and has made for 
 himself a sort of staff 2 of wonderful virtue, with which he 
 chaperones the souls of dead men, and conducts them 
 down to the infernal regions. 
 
 Hephaestus. I gave him that for a plaything. 
 
 Apollo. Then he has paid you back : your fire-tongs- 
 
 Hephaestus. Well remembered. So I will march off to 
 recover it, if, as you say, it is anywhere to be found among 
 his cradle-clothes. 
 
 1 Κίθαρίζειν. The cithara differed somewhat from the lyra and 
 resembled rather the modern guitar. Originally, the lyre had three or 
 four strings only: but (650 b.c.) it received the full complement of 
 seven strings. From the tortoiseshell material it received its Latin 
 name, tcstudo. See Smith’s Diet, of Ant. art. Lyra. 
 
 2 The Caduceus (as the ράβδος was called by the Latins). By a 
 slight change formed, apparently, from καρυκείον, “ a herald’s wand ”— 
 whence the epithet of caducifcr. See IX. xxiv. 343; Oe. v. 47 ; Virg. 
 LEn. iv. 247-253. 
 
DIALOGUES OP THE GODS. 
 
 17 
 
 VIII. 
 
 HEPHJ:STUS 1 ASSISTS AT THE PARTURITION OF ZEUS AND 
 THE BIRTH OP ATHENA. 
 
 Hephaestus and Zeus. 
 
 Hephaestus. What have I to do, Zens ? For I am come, 
 as yon ordered me, with my sharpest axe, sharp enough , 
 even though it were wanted to cut through a stone at 
 one stroke ( displaying his tool). 
 
 Zeus. Well done, my dear Heph asstus. But don’t waste time, 
 but bring it down with a will, and split my head in two. 
 
 Hephaestus. Yon are trying me, if I am in my right 
 senses ? Order, pray, something else, whatever it is yon 
 really want done to you. 
 
 Zeus. I desire my skull to be split open—that and nothing 
 else. If you will not obey me, it is not the first time you 
 will tempt my anger. 2 Well, now you must come down 
 with all your soul and strength, and that without delay; 
 for I am simply dying under the pangs of labour, which 
 rack my poor brain terribly. 
 
 Hephaestus. Look out, Zeus, that we don’t do you some 
 injury; for the axe is sharp, and not unattended with 
 blood, nor will it act the midwife for you after the fashion 
 of Eileithuia. 3 
 
 Zeus. Bring it down boldly, without more ado, sir. I 
 know what’s best. 
 
 Hephaestus. ’Tis sorely against my will, but I will down 
 with it, however: for what’s one to do, when you order a 
 thing? ( Starting hack in alarm.) What’s this ? A girl 
 
 1 The part here assumed by the blacksmith god by other authorities 
 is attributed to Prometheus or Hermes. Lucian follows Pindar, Ολ. vii. 
 35 (Jacob.). For an etymological disquisition on the name of Athena 
 see Plato, Κρατύλος. 
 
 2 Hephaestus had been expelled, in an ignominious fashion, from 
 heaven on the memorable occasion recorded in Ιλ. i. ad fin. 
 
 3 The goddess who comes with help to women in childbirth. See Ιλ. 
 xi. 270, where the poet speaks of more than one Eileithuia, and repre¬ 
 sents the sisters as daughters of Hera :— 
 
 “ μογοστόκοι Εΐλείθυιαι 
 "Η ρης θυγατέρες, πικράς ωδίνας εχουσπί.” 
 
 Cf. Ιλ. χΐχ. 119. Hesiod knows only one, θεογ. 886-900, 922. 
 
 C 
 
18 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 in armour ! A miglity pain yon had in your head, Zeus. 
 With good reason, I admit, you were so short-tempered, 
 maintaining alive in the yia mater of your brain a virgin of 
 such proportions, and that too, in a suit of armour! It 
 was a camp, surely, not a head you have had all this while 
 without its being known. Why ! she leaps and dances the 
 Pyrrhic dance, 1 and clashes her shield, and brandishes her 
 spear, and is all on fire with martial excitement; and, 
 what is more, in this short time, she has become a very 
 beautiful woman, and is in her full bloom already. She 
 has a fierceness in her bluish-gray eyes 2 to be sure, but 
 her helmet sets off that, too, to advantage. So, Zeus, pay 
 me my midwife-fee, by betrothing her to me now at once. 
 
 Zeus. You ask impossibilities, Hephaestus, for she chooses 
 to remain ever a virgin: but I, however, as far as I am 
 concerned, offer no opposition. 
 
 Hephcestus. That’s all I wanted. The rest shall be my 
 care, and I will carry her off even now. 
 
 Zeus. If you find it an easy affair, do so : but I know 
 that you are indulging a hopeless passion. 3 
 
 IX. 
 
 HERMES REFUSES POSEIDON ADMISSION TO ZEUS, AND ASSIGNS 
 AS THE REASON THE LYING-IN OF THE KING OF GODS AND 
 MEN WITH BACCHUS. 
 
 Poseidon and Hermes. 
 
 Poseidon. May one have an interview with Zeus just 
 now, Hermes ? 
 
 1 Π νρριχίζει. The Pyrrhic dance (>/ πυρρίχη ) was the famous military 
 dance performed in full armour to the sound of the flute or rather pipe. 
 At Athens it formed part of the Panathenaic festival. The birth of 
 Athena occupied a conspicuous place on the sculptures of the Parthenon. 
 See Pausanias, i. 24. 
 
 2 Υλαυκώπις. The well-known Homeric epithet of the goddess of 
 War and Wisdom. The exact colour implied in -γλαυκός is disputed. 
 As applied to Athena, it included a certain flashing or fierceness of the 
 eyes. Plutarch, Βίοι Παραλ., in his description of Sulla, records of his 
 eyes:—“ την των ύμμάτων -γλαυκότητα , δεινώς και πίκραν και άκρατον 
 ουσαν, η χρόα του προσώπου φοβερωτέραν εποίει προσιάεϊν.” Cf. Ον. 
 Amoves, ϋ. 659 ; Statius, Theb. ii. 715. 
 
 3 For a description of a famous Greek painting of this subject see 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 19 
 
 Hermes. By no means, my dear Poseidon. 
 
 Poseidon. At all events announce me to him (making 
 a forward movement ). 
 
 Hermes. (Interposing himself.') Don’t be a nuisance, I 
 say: for it is quite an unseasonable moment, so you could 
 not possibly see him at present. 
 
 Poseidon. He is not engaged with Hera, is he ? 
 
 Hermes. Ho, but it is quite another sort of affair. 
 
 Poseidon. I understand. Ganymedes is closeted with 
 him. 
 
 Hermes. Hot that, either. The fact is, he is rather 
 poorly. 
 
 Poseidon. Prom what cause, my dear Hermes ? For 
 this is strange news you report. 
 
 Hermes. I blush to tell it, such is its nature. 
 
 Poseidon. But you need not blush to tell me, your uncle. 
 
 Hermes. He has but just now been brought to bed, 
 Poseidon. 
 
 Poseidon. Get away with you. He brought to bed ? By 
 whom P Is he an hermaphrodite, 1 without our knowing it 
 all this time ? Yet his person did not discover any symp¬ 
 toms of it. 
 
 Hermes. You are right, for the usual part did not hold 
 the embryo. 
 
 Poseidon. Ah ! I know. He has given birth again 
 through his head-piece, as he did to Athena—it’s his head 
 he keeps for a breeding-place. 
 
 Hermes. Ho, it was in his thigh that he was pregnant 
 with Semele’s 2 infant. 
 
 Pliilostratus, E ϊκονες, in the French version, Philostrate Ancien , Une 
 Galcrie Antique, par A. Bougot, Paris, 1881. The highly interesting 
 pictures, described by Philostratus as having been seen by him in a 
 gallery at Naples, appear to have been not frescoes but painted in the 
 studio. 
 
 1 Άνδρόγννος , Plato’s Dialogue, the Συμπόσιον, has given celebrity 
 to the word. Another form of it is γυνάνδρος . Hermaphrodite, which 
 frequently appears in Greek Art, is compounded of Hermes and Aphro¬ 
 dite. See Ov. Metam. iv. 5, for the story of the Naiad Salmacis and 
 Hermaphroditus. 
 
 2 The story of Semele is to be found in Ovid, Metam. iii. 4, 5. Cf. 
 Apollod. iii. 4. It forms the subject of one of the Έϊκονες of Philo¬ 
 stratus, where Semele is represented mounting to Heaven. 
 
20 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 Poseidon. Well done, the excellent parent! How pro¬ 
 ductive he is all over, and in every part of his body ! But 
 who is this Semele ? 
 
 Hermes. A lady of Thebes, one of the daughters of 
 Kadmus. He paid her a visit, and made her enceinte. 
 
 Poseidon. Then, did he take her place in the straw, 
 Hermes ? 
 
 Hermes. Exactly, however strange and paradoxical it 
 appears to you. For Hera—you know how jealous she is 
 —secretly laid a trap for her, and persuaded her to request 
 from Zeus that he would come to her with thunder and 
 lightning. And when he complied, and came with his 
 thunderbolt, the roof of the house was set all on fire, and 
 burnt up, and poor Semele perished in the flames. And 
 he orders me to cut open the lady’s womb, and to bring up 
 to him the still imperfect embryo of seven months. When 
 I had so done, he cuts open his own thigh and inserts it, 
 that it might there receive its completion; and now, 
 exactly in the third month, he has given birth to the child 
 and is feeling poorly after the pangs of parturition. 
 
 Poseidon. Where, then, is the baby now ? 
 
 Hermes. I took it off to Nysa, and delivered it to the 
 Nymphs to bring up, after giving it the name of Dionysus . 1 2 
 
 Poseidon. And is my brother really both father and 
 mother of this Dionysus ? 
 
 Hermes. So it seems. But I am now off to fetch water 
 for his wound, and to perform the other services which 
 are customary, just as for a lady after confinement." 
 
 1 The Greek alternative name for Bacchus, said to be be derived from 
 Mt. iNysa in Thrace or India, with paternal prefix. One of the most 
 famous statues of Hermes, by Praxiteles, represents the youthful god 
 bearing away the infant, as here described. It was discovered by the 
 German Excavation Commission, in 1877, at Olympia, mutilated, but 
 with the features entire. It is one of the most valued discoveries of 
 Greek sculpture of the present time. See Pausanias, v. 17. 
 
 2 ΛεχοΤ. Cf. Aristoph. Έκκλης. 530 ; Euripides, "Ηλεκηοα, 652 j 
 and see Ter. Andria, iii. 2, in the case of Glycerium. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 21 
 
 X. 
 
 HERMES CONVEYS TO HELIOS THE ORDER OF ZEUS ; THAT HE 
 
 IS TO REFRAIN FROM DRIVING HIS CHARIOT, UNTIL THE 
 
 COMPLETION OF THE AMOUR OF THE KING OF GODS AND 
 
 MEN WITH ALKMENE. 
 
 Serines and Helios. 
 
 Hermes. Helios, you are not to drive out to-day, Zeus 
 says, nor to-morrow, nor the day after, but to remain at 
 liome; and let that interval of time be one long· kind of 
 night. So let the Hone 1 unharness your horses again, and 
 do you put out your fires, and repose yourself for a good 
 long time. 
 
 Helios. Xew and strange instructions these, Hermes, 
 you come to give me. But am I thought to blunder in 
 any way in my course, and to drive beyond its bounds ; and 
 is it on that account he is vexed with me, and determined 
 to make the night three times the length of one day ? 
 
 Hermes. Nothing of the kind, nor will it be always so : 
 but he wants the night just now to be somewhat longer 
 than usual, on his own account. 
 
 Helios. And where is he, or whence have you been 
 despatched with this message for me ? 
 
 Hermes. From Boeotia, Helios, from Amphitryon’s wife, 
 with whom he now is, making love to her . 2 
 
 Helios. Then is one night not enough P 
 
 Hermes. By no means, for some mighty and much- 
 
 1 The Horae (“Hours”), in the Homeric theology (Ιλ. viii. 393), 
 are the doorkeeper's of Heaven. According to Hesiod, their names are 
 Eunomia, Dike, and Eirene, the daughters of Zeus and Themis (θεογ. 
 901). They united with the Charites, and other divinities, in adorning 
 Pandora :— 
 
 άμφι d'e riivyt 
 
 'Qpcu καΧλίκομοί στέψην άνθισιν tiapivoioi. 
 
 *Ερ. και"Ημ. 74. 
 
 See Lucian, Πίρΐ θυσιών. The picture of the Hours, as described by 
 Philostratus, formed a charming subject. 
 
 2 Upon this liaison of Zeus with Alkmena is founded one of the most 
 entertaining of the Comedies of Plautus, the Amphitryon. In modern 
 times, it has been imitated by Dryden and by Moliere, the latter of 
 whom seems to have had this dialogue of Lucian in mind. For an 
 
oo 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 victorious divinity is to be born from this intercourse. 
 That be should be turned out complete and perfect in one 
 night is simply impossible. 
 
 Helios. Well, may he turn him out to perfection, and 
 good luck to him ! This sort of thing, however, was not the 
 fashion in the time of Cronos—for we are all alone by our¬ 
 selves—nor did he ever sleep apart from Rhea, nor would 
 lie leave heaven and go to bed in Thebes : but day was day, 
 and night, according to its proper measure, was propor¬ 
 tionate in the number of its hours. And there was nothing 
 strange or confused and interchanged ; and he would never 
 have intrigued with a mortal woman. But now, for the 
 sake of some w r retched female, everything must be turned 
 upside down, and my horses must become unmanageable 
 from want of work; and the route, by remaining un¬ 
 trodden for three successive days, almost impassable; 
 while as for men, they must pass their time miserably in 
 darkness. Such are the benefits they will enjoy from the 
 amours of Zeus; and they will have to sit down and tvait, 
 until he has accomplished this fine athlete, whom you speak 
 of, under cover of prolonged darkness. 
 
 Hermes. Hold your tongue, Helios, for fear you may get 
 some mischief from your words. How I shall be off to 
 Selene and Hypnus, and announce to them, too, the mes¬ 
 sage of Zeus—that the former travel leisurely on her 
 journey, and that Hypnus let not mortals go, so that they 
 may not know that the night has been so long. 
 
 XL 
 
 APHRODITE CHARGES SELENE WITH HER LOVE FOR ENDYMION, 
 AND, AT THE SAME TIME, LAMENTS THE TYRANNY OF HER 
 SON, EROS, OYER HERSELF. 
 
 Aphrodite and Selene. 
 
 Aphrodite. What is this, Selene, they say you do ? That 
 when you are over against Karia, you stop your chariot, 
 
 account of the wife of the Thehan prince compare Hesiod, *Ασπις 'Ηρακ. 
 i- 56 ; Ον. Met. ix. 3 ; Seneca, Her. Fiircns ; Apollod. iv. 4, 8 ; Diodorus, 
 iv. 1. She is one of the heroines called up by the necromantic skill of 
 Odysseus (Od. xi.). 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 23 
 
 ancl fix all your gaze upon your Endymion, wlio sleeps 
 under the open sky like the hunter he is; and that, at 
 times, you even come down to him from the middle of 
 your journey . 1 
 
 Selene. Ask your son, my dear Aphrodite, who is the 
 cause of this conduct of mine. 
 
 Aphrodite. Don’t speak of him. He is an insolent rogue. 
 Myself, in fact, his own mother, how has he treated me— 
 one while bringing me down to Ida for the sake of Anchises, 
 the Troian ; 2 another time to the Libanus, to meet that 
 Assyrian youth, whom he has made an object of desire even 
 to Phersephatte , 3 and thus has deprived me, for half the 
 time, of my beloved. So that I have often threatened , 4 
 unless he stop such goings on, to break his bow and 
 quiver, and to clip his wings; and before now I have 
 whipped him with my sandal. But somehow or other, 
 though he is frightened for the moment, and begs pardon, 
 he very soon afterwards forgets all his promises. But, 
 tell me, is Endymion handsome; for, in that case, the evil 
 admits of easy consolation. 
 
 Selene. To me he seems to be excessively handsome, my 
 dear Aphrodite, and most especially when he throws his 
 cloak down under him, upon the rock, and goes to sleep, 
 grasping in his left hand his javelins which are just slipping 
 from his fingers, while his right arm, bent double upwards 
 
 1 Ovid, De Arte Amandi , iii. 83, defends the fair fame of the Goddess, 
 or rather, maintains that she had no reason to be ashamed of her weak¬ 
 ness :— 
 
 “ Latmius Endymion non est tibi, Luna, rubori.” 
 
 Pausanias informs us that, according to a common belief, she bore to her 
 paramour fifty daughters (r. 1). In the 'Ιστορία ’ Αληθής (“ True His¬ 
 tory”) Endymion figures as the sovereign ruler of the Moon. 
 
 2 For Hera’s ironical allusion to this escapade on a memorable occa¬ 
 sion, see θ. Δ. xx. 
 
 3 A form of the usual name of Persephone. Cf. Soph. Antigone , 894. 
 The Assyrian, or rather Syrian, youth is Adonis. Before his death 
 from the wild boar’s avenging tusk, the Goddess of Love had eight 
 months’ enjoyment of her human favourite each year ; after his death, 
 he was granted to her tears by the sovereigns of the lower world for 
 only half the year. See Oy.Metam.x. 9, 10; Theok. Άδωνιάζουσαι ; 
 and the charming Idyll of Bion. 
 
 4 See following Dialogue , and the Έίδύλλων of Moschus on the 
 Fugitive Eros, and the Anakreontic Odes. 
 
24 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 round bis head, sets off his face in a circular frame ; while, 
 his limbs relaxed in sleep, he breathes forth that ambrosial 
 and divine breath of his. Then, I confess it, descending 
 noiselessly and advancing on tiptoe, that he may not 
 
 awake and be alarmed-You know the rest. Why should 
 
 I tell you the sequel ? However, I am dying for love of 
 him. 
 
 XII. 
 
 APHRODITE UPBRAIDS EROS FOR HIS MISCHIEVOUS CONDUCT IN 
 
 THE PAST, AND CAUTIONS HIM FOR THE FUTURE. EROS 
 
 DEFENDS HIMSELF. 
 
 Aphrodite and Eros. 
 
 Aphrodite. Eros, my child, just consider your conduct. 
 I don’t mean on Earth, what deeds you induce men to do 
 against themselves or one against the other, but even in 
 Heaven—you who show up mighty Zeus himself in a 
 variety of shapes, converting him into whatever you please, 
 at the moment, and drag Selene down from heaven, and 
 force Helios, forgetting all about his charioteering, some¬ 
 times to loiter on his way with his Klymene : while in 
 regard to your wanton conduct to me, you act with entire 
 freedom. Hay, most audacious boy, you have induced 
 even Rhea herself, who long ago was an old woman, and 
 the mother of such a number of Gods, to fall in love with 
 boys , 1 and to indulge a passion for the Phrygian youth. 
 And now she has lost her senses by your work, and har¬ 
 nessed lions and taken to her the Korybantes, who are iike 
 mad people themselves ; and they tramp up and down 
 about Ida, she making dismal lamentations for Attes. 
 While as for the Korybantes, one gashes his arm 2 with a 
 knife, another letting down his hair rushes like a madman 
 
 1 Ήαιδεραστεϊν. The Phrygian youth is Attis, Attes, or Atys. 
 The Korybantes were the priests of lthea or Ivybele, in Phrygia, who 
 worshipped with rites of the grossest and most frantic kind. See Catul¬ 
 lus, Be Atyde , for a description of one of her emasculated votaries, and 
 Ov. Fasti, iv. 181-246. 
 
 2 ΎΙηχνν. Lit. “fore-arm.” Some of the translators, following 
 Erasmus, have interpreted it as penem , by “a ridiculous error.” See 
 Hemst. Cf. Seneca, Be Vitd Beatd, xxvii. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 25 
 
 through the mountains, one blows on the horn, another beats 
 an accompaniment on the drum, or raises a horrible din on 
 the cymbal, and, in fine, all Ida is in tumult and phrenzy. 
 I fear, therefore, everything: I, who brought you into the 
 world to be such a plague, am dreadfully afraid that Rhea, 
 in one of her mad fits, or, indeed, rather, still in her senses, 
 may order her Korybantes to seize you and tear you in 
 pieces, or cast you to her lions. Such is my dread, when 
 I see you running such risks. 
 
 j Eros. Xever fear, mother, for I have been a long time 
 on the best of terms, even with the lions themselves; and 
 frequently I mount on their backs and laying hold of their 
 manes, I drive them as if they had reins, and they fawn 
 on me, and taking my hand in their mouths, after licking 
 it all over, give it back to me. Why, as for Rhea herself, 
 when could she have leisure to do any harm to me, wholly 
 taken up as she is with Attes ? And, besides, what wrong 
 do I do in pointing out beautiful objects such as they are ? 
 And as for you others, do you not yourselves long after 
 beautiful things ? Then don’t accuse me of these offences. 
 And do you yourself, mother, really wish no longer to love 
 Ares, or him you ? 
 
 Aphrodite. What a dreadful boy you are, and how you 
 tyrannize over all! Well, you will recall my words some 
 time or other. 
 
 XIII. 
 
 ASKLEPIUS AND HERAKLES QUARREL ON A QUESTION OF 
 PRECEDENCE IN HEAVEN. 
 
 Zeus , Asklepius , and Herakles. 
 
 Zeus. Do, Asklepius and Herakles, stop your wrangling, 
 just for all the world as if you were a couple of mortals; 
 for this sort of behaviour is unseemly, and quite strange to 
 the banquets of the Gods. 
 
 Herakles. But, Zeus, would you have that quack drug- 
 dealer there 1 take his place at table above me ? 2 
 
 1 Ύουτονι. Lengthened epideictic Attic form of Τούτον : the final 
 vowel having the force of the French ci, as in celui-ci. Herakles points 
 his finger contemptuously at the rival pretender. 
 
 2 Προκ«Γα/ίλινεσ9α<'. According to Greek custom, literally, to 
 
26 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 Asklepius. By Zeus, yes, for I am certainly the better 
 man. 
 
 Heralcles. How, you thunderstruck fellow , 1 is it pray, 
 because Zeus knocked you on the head with his bolt for 
 your unlawful actions, and because now, out of mere pity, by 
 way of compensation, you have got a share of immortality ? 
 
 Asklepius. What! Have you, for your part, Herakles, 
 altogether forgotten your having been burned to ashes on 
 Mt. CEta , 2 that you throw in my teeth this fire you talk of f 
 
 Herakles. We have not lived at all an equal or similar 
 sort of life—I who am the son of Zeus, and have undergone 
 so many and great labours, purifying human life, contend¬ 
 ing against and conquering wild beasts, and punishing 
 insolent and injurious men ; whereas you are a paltry herb- 
 doctor and mountebank , 3 skilful, possibly, in palming off 
 your miserable drugs upon sick fools, but who have never 
 given proof of any noble, manly disposition. 
 
 Asklepius. You say well, seeing I healed your burns 
 when you came up but now half-burned, with your body 
 all marred and destroyed by the double cause of your death — 
 the poisoned shirt and, afterwards, the fire. How I, if I 
 have done nothing else, at least, ha\e neither worked like a 
 slave, as you have, nor have I carded wool in Lydia , 4 
 dressed in a fine purple g’own; nor have I been beaten by 
 that Omphale of yours, with her golden slipper—no, nor 
 did I, in a mad fit, kill my children and my wife." 
 
 “ recline higher up ” on the κλίνη, dining-couch. For a lively quarrel 
 of this kind, see Lucian, Σνμπόσιον ?/ Αάπιβαι, ix. 
 
 1 ’Εμβρόντητε. A favourite and forcible expression of Lucian’s 
 (see e.y. Timon ) implying mental as well as physical injury. The 
 insulting epithet was literally applicable to Asklepius, who, just before 
 his promotion to the skies, had been killed by a thunderbolt from the 
 hand of Zeus, for cheating Pluto of his due number of subjects by 
 means of his very singular medical skill. 
 
 2 See Ov. Met. ix. 2 ; Seneca, Her. CEtceus. 
 
 3 Έπιθήσειν των φαρμάκων. Partitive Genitive, used contemptuously. 
 Έπίβεσιν has been proposed as a more usual construction. Herb-doctor , 
 in the Greek ριζοτόμος, lit. “ a root-cutter.” Mountebank, άγνρτης, lit. 
 “one who collects crowds” (άγείρειν) to sell his quack-medicines. 
 Sopkokles wrote a drama with the title of 'P ιζοτόμος, as a satire on the 
 medical world of his day. 
 
 4 See the Epistola Heianirce of Ovid. 
 
 5 Incited to madness by the jealous Hera, the son of Alkmena had 
 killed his wife Megara, daughter of Kreon, king of Thebes, with her 
 
BOSTON COLLEGE LIBRARY 
 CHESTNUT HILL, MASS. 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 2'/ 
 
 Herakles. If you don’t stop at once your ribald abuse of 
 me, you shall very speedily learn your immortality will not 
 much avail you : for I will take and pitch you head first 
 out of Heaven, so that not even the wonderful Pgeon 1 
 himself shall cure you and your broken skull. 
 
 Zeus. Have done, I say, and don’t disturb the harmony 
 of the company, or I will pack both of you off from the 
 supper-room ; although, to speak the truth , Herakles, it is 
 fair and reasonable Asklepius should have precedence of 
 you at table, inasmuch as he even took precedence of you 
 in death. 
 
 XIY. 
 
 APOLLO RECOUNTS TO HERMES THE MANNER OF THE DEATH 
 OF HTAKINTHUS, AND HIS GRIEF FOR THE SAME. 
 
 Hermes and Apollo. 
 
 Hermes. Why so gloomy and dejected, my dear Apollo ? 
 
 Apollo. Because, Hermes, I am unhappy in my love affairs. 
 
 Hermes. Such misfortune is, indeed, worthy occasion for 
 grief : but in what affair is it you are unfortunate P Does 
 that business of Daphne 2 still affect you ? 
 
 Apollo. Hot at all. Ho, I mourn for my favourite, the 
 Laconian, the son of CEbalus.^ 
 
 Hermes. What! tell me, is Hyakinthus dead ? 
 
 Apollo. Too surely. 
 
 Hermes. By whose hands, my dear Apollo ? Could there 
 be any one so unloving as to kill that handsome youth ? 
 
 children (whom he threw into the fire), and also two of his nephews. 
 !5ee Seneca, Her. Furens, Apollod. ii. 4, 12. 
 
 1 Paeeon, or Pa?an, physician in ordinary to the Court of Olympus, in 
 later Greek theology was identified with Apollo, the divine Healer. 
 See 1λ. v. 395-402 for his successful treatment of the wounds of Aides 
 inflicted by Herakles. 
 
 2 Ov. Metam. i. 12. Diodorus (Βι/3. I στ.), Pausanias, and the rest of 
 the authorities vary, as usual, in the relation of the story of the Nymph 
 of the laurel-tree. Pausanias relates that Daphne, in place of being the 
 victim, with her attendant nymphs shot with arrows her too daring 
 lover, who had disguised himself in female dress, and followed her to 
 the bath. 
 
 3 Hyakinthus. Ov. Metam. x. 5, Philost. Έ’ίκονες. Upon the tomb 
 of Hyakinthus, Pausanias informs us, w r as sculptured the figure of his 
 involuntary slayer. 
 
28 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 Apollo. It was my own doing. 
 
 Hermes. Were you, then, out of your senses, Apollo ? 
 
 Apollo. No, but it was a species of ill-luck—an involun¬ 
 tary deed. 
 
 Hermes. How ? For I am anxious to hear the manner 
 of it. 
 
 Apollo. He was learning to play with the quoit, and I 
 was playing with him. ΛΥβΙΙ, that most cursed of winds, 
 Zephyrus, himself was in love with him, from a long time 
 past; and being neglected, and not able to endure his 
 superciliousness (while I threw my quoit up into the air, 
 as we are accustomed to do), blowing down from Taygetus, 
 bore the disc along and caused it to fall on the head of the 
 youth, so that blood flowed from the wound in large quantity, 
 and the boy died immediately. However, I at once avenged 
 myself on Zephyrus by shooting at him with my arrows, 
 pursuing him in his flight as far as the mountain. And to 
 the boy I had a tomb raised at Amykla), where the quoit 
 struck him down; and from his blood I caused the ground 
 to send up a flower, the sweetest, Hermes, and the gayest- 
 coloured of all flowers, having, moreover, letters mourning 1 
 for the dead imprinted on it. Do I appear to you to have 
 been grieved unreasonably P 
 
 Hermes. Yes, my dear Apollo: for you knew that you 
 had made a mere mortal the object of your particular 
 affection. So, pray, don’t vex yourself about his death. 
 
 1 ’Έπαιάζοντα. Lit. “crying at, at.” Cf. Bion, EtY i. (the Dirge of 
 Adonis ), λιάζω τον "Αδωνιν —/c.r.X., Moschus ( Dirge on Bion, 40), Ov. 
 Metam. x. 215. What is this famous flower, which thus immortalizes 
 the fate of Hyakinthus, is matter of dispute with the commentators. 
 See .Lehmann’s Hemsterhuis, and compare Palsephatus. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 29 
 
 XY. 
 
 HERMES AND APOLLO ENVY THE DEFORMED HEPHAESTUS THE 
 POSSESSION OF HIS BEAUTIFUL WIVES. 
 
 Hermes and Ajpollo. 
 
 Hermes. But the fact, Apollo, that, though he is both 
 lame, and a mere brazier by trade, he has married the 
 most beautiful wives of us all, Aphrodite and Charis ! 1 
 
 Apollo. A mere piece of good luck, my dear Hermes. 
 But this I do wonder at—that they tolerate having anything 
 to do with him; most especially when they see him running 
 down with perspiration, as he stoops laboriously over his 
 furnace, and with a quantity of soot upon his face. And 
 yet, though he is such a figure, they embrace him, and 
 kiss him, and sleep with him ! 
 
 Hermes. This, too, I feel indignant about, and envy 
 Hephaestus—whereas you wear long, flowing, hair, and 
 play on the cithara, and pride yourself greatly on your 
 good looks, and I upon my vigour and good habit of body 
 and my lyre, straightway, when we have to go to bed, we 
 shall sleep all alone. 
 
 Apollo. Besides, too, as far as I am concerned, I have no 
 fortune in my affaires de cceur , 2 and two, at all events, 
 whom I especially loved, Daphne and Hyakinthus—well, 
 Daphne hated me to such a degree that she chose to become 
 a tree rather than have my embraces ; while Hyakinthus 
 I killed with that quoit, and now, in place of them, I have 
 to he content with garlands . 3 
 
 Hermes. And as for me, Aphrodite I some time since— 
 but one must not brag. 
 
 Apollo. I know, and she is said to have presented you 
 with Hermaphroditus. But tell me this, if you know at 
 
 1 See Τλ. xviii. 382. She was one of the Charites or “ Graces.” 
 
 2 Άναφροδιτός ες τα ερωτικά. Lit. “ unfavoured by Aphrodite in my 
 love affairs.” Lat. invenustus. Cf. Andria , i. 5 (the lament of Pam- 
 philus):—“ Adeon’ hominem’sse invenustum aut infelicem quemquam, 
 ut ego sum ! ” 
 
 3 The garlands heaped upon his altars by his votaries. 
 
30 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 all, how is it· Aphrodite is not jealous of Charis or Charis 
 jealous of her ? 
 
 Hermes. Because, ray dear Apollo, the former lives with 
 him in Lemnos , 1 and Aphrodite in Heaven. And besides, the 
 latter is, for the most part, taken up with Ares, and is in 
 love with him, so that she cares little for this brazier fellow. 
 
 Apollo. And do you suppose that Hephiestus knows this ? 
 
 Hermes. He knows well enough : but what could he do, 
 when he sees a fine youth, and that, too, a soldier ? So he 
 keeps quiet. However, he threatens, at all events, that he 
 will devise some kind of fetters for them, and catch them 
 together by throwing a net over their bed. 
 
 Apollo. I don’t know, but I would, devoutly pray that I 
 myself might be the one to be caught in her company. 
 
 XYI. 
 
 HERA AND LETO DISPUTE ABOUT THE MERITS OF THEIR 
 RESPECTIVE CHILDREN. 
 
 Hera and Leto. 
 
 Hera. Fine creatures, indeed, are the children you have 
 presented to Zeus, Leto ! 2 
 
 Leto. It’s not all of us, Hera, who can produce such 
 progeny as your Hephaestus. 
 
 Hera. But this same cripple is, at all events, of some 
 use. He is an excellent workman, and has decorated 
 Heaven for us in a thoroughly artistic fashion , 3 and he 
 married Aphrodite, and is made much of by her ; 4 while 
 
 1 This island of the N. Higean sea, was the favourite terrestrial abode 
 of Hephaestus, and some authorities place his forge there. 
 
 2 The abrupt beginning of the Dialogue implies antecedent conver¬ 
 sation. The jealous Hera may be supposed to have begun with some 
 such ironical observation as “ you may well be proud of your good 
 looks,” or “you may well be proud of your position among us.” The 
 relative is sometimes omitted in familiar conversation in Greek as in 
 conversational English. 
 
 3 See ITepi θυσιών (“ On Sacrifices ”), one of Lucian’s finest pieces of 
 satire ; and IX. xviii. 
 
 4 Σπουδάζεται προς αυτής. Scarcely borne out by the facts. Cf. 
 θ. Δ. xvii. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 31 
 
 as for your children, one of them is beyond all measure, 
 masculine, and mountainish, and to crown all, has made off: 
 to Scythia, and everyone knows what her diet is there, 
 slaying strangers, and imitating the Scythians themselves, 
 who are cannibals . 1 As for Apollo, he makes pretence to 
 universal knowledge—to shoot with the bow, to play the 
 cithara, to be a doctor, and to prophesy—and having set up 
 his oracle-shops, one at Delphi, another at Klaros and at 
 Didyma, he juggles and cheats those who consult him, 
 giving crooked answers , 2 and double meanings, applicable 
 to either side of the question, so that he runs no risk of 
 failure, and from such trickery he makes his fortune : for 
 numerous are the fools, and those who offer themselves 
 willing victims to be cheated and imposed upon. But by 
 the wiser part of men it is not unknown that he is, for the 
 most part, a mere juggler in words. The prophet himself, 
 at all events, did not know he would kill his favourite 
 with the quoit, nor did he divine for his own advantage, 
 that Daphne would flee from him ; and that, too, although 
 he is so handsome and has such flowing locks. So I don’t 
 see why you thought you had finer children than poor 
 Niobe . 3 
 
 Leto. These same children, however—the murderer of 
 strangers and the lying prophet—I am well aware how it 
 
 1 See Eui’ipides, ’Ιφιγένεια εν Ύαυροις, Herodot. iv. 103, and Gothe’s 
 Iphigenia. The Scythia of the text is the modern Crimea. 
 
 2 Λοξά, whence his epithet Αόξιας —“the ambiguous speaker or 
 prophet.” For some specimens of his prophetic art, see the Ζευς 
 T ραγώδος, perhaps Lucian’s masterpiece. Cf. Herodotus, passim ; Cle¬ 
 mens Alex. Π ροτρεπτ. ; Fontenelle, Hist, des Oracles. 
 
 3 See Ov. Metam. vi. 2, Pausanias i. 21, ii. 21, viii. 20. For an 
 eloquent description of the most beautiful conception in all remaining 
 Greek Sculpture, see Shelley’s Letters from Italy. As for the miracu¬ 
 lous metamorphosis of Niobe, Pausanias, who had seen the pillar of 
 stone, considers that there need be no difficulty in believing it, for it 
 happened in the eld times of frequent miraculous interposition of 
 Heaven. He is not prepared, however, to maintain that such miracles 
 take place in his own day, for man’s impiety precludes the possibility. 
 Accordingly, he does not credit the received stoiy that the petrified 
 Niobe sheds tears, or the popular tales about lycanthropy , or that the 
 Tritons blow through their shells, as the vulgar believe (viii. 2). Cf. 
 viii. 8. With this expression of pious faith compare, also, the remarks 
 of Diodorus (B. I. iv. 1), who holds that miraculous stories must not 
 be inquired into too closely or critically. 
 
32 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 vexes you to see them in the company of the gods; and 
 especially whenever the one is commended for her beauty, 
 and the other performs on his cithara, to the admiration 
 of all in the banqueting-hall. 
 
 Hera. I could not help laughing, Leto—he an object of 
 admiration, whom, if the Muses had chosen to give a just 
 decision, Marsyas would have flayed, as himself the con¬ 
 queror in the musical contest . 1 But, as it was, the poor 
 man was overreached, and perished by an unjust doom. 
 And, as for your beautiful virgin, she is so beautiful, that, 
 when she found she had been seen by Actteon, from fear 
 the youth might proclaim her ugliness, she set on him his 
 own dogs . 2 I don't say all I mighty for I omit to dwell on 
 the fact, that, if she were really a virgin , 3 she could not 
 even assist ladies in the straw. 
 
 Leto. You bear yourself superciliously, Hera, because 
 you share the bed and throne of Zeus; and for that reason, 
 you utter your insults without fear. But, however, I shall 
 soon see you in tears again, when he deserts you and goes 
 down to earth again in the form of a bull or a swan. 
 
 1 See Ov. Metam. vi. 4. Herodotus, Strabo, Pausanias, and Aldus 
 Gellius all relate the story with perfect faith. Cf. Apollod. i. 4, and 
 Hyginus. 
 
 2 See Apollodorus, iii. 4, whose enumeration of the thirty-two 
 hounds seems to have been used by Ovid, Metam. iii. 3. According to 
 the Greek mythologist, the dogs, who had torn their master to pieces 
 (transformed, with some poetic justice, into a stag), on discovering their 
 very excusable error, died of grief and remorse. Cf. Kallimachus, Περί 
 της Παλ. βαλ. (“ On Pallas’s Bath ”), and Apuleius ( Metam .) on the 
 sculpture of Diana and the Dogs. Palsephatus remarks on the story of 
 the dogs devouring their master, τούτο δ’εστι ψενδες —for, as he adds, 
 on the contrary", a dog loves, and is faithful to, his master, however 
 unworthy. 
 
 3 ΐίαρθίνος γε αυτή ουσα. The office of Eileithuia, or Eleithuia, in 
 later times had been transferred, with some impropriety, to Artemis. 
 Cf. Theok. Έίδ. xxii. (Όαριστύς) 28, 29. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 33 
 
 XYIT. 
 
 HERMES NARRATES TO APOLLO THE ADULTERY OF ARES AND 
 APHRODITE, AND THE REVENGE OF HEPH^STUS. 
 
 Apollo and Hermes. 
 
 Apollo. Why do you laugh, Hermes ? 
 
 Hermes. Because, my dear Apollo, I have seen the most 
 ridiculous sight possible. 
 
 Apollo. Then tell me, that I myself too, when I have 
 heard, may be able to join in the laugh. 
 
 Hermes. Aphrodite has been caught with Ares, and 
 Hephaestus has captured and bound them. 
 
 Apollo. How ? For I fancy you are going to tell me 
 something pleasant! 
 
 Hermes. For a long time I imagine he had been aware of 
 this amour , and was hunting them down ; and when he had 
 enveloped their bed with invisible fetters , 1 he went back to 
 his forge and worked away as usual. Then Ares enters 
 unobserved, as he supposed; but Helios looks down upon 
 them and sees them, and tells Hephaestus. And when they 
 had got upon the bed, and were in each other’s arms, and 
 were involved within the meshes, the fetters completely 
 entangle them, and Hephaestus suddenly comes upon them. 
 She, you may be sure, had no means—for in fact she was. 
 entirely naked—of veiling her shame; while Ares at 
 first kept making efforts to escape, and hoped to break the 
 bonds ; but afterwards, perceiving himself to be inextricably 
 caught , 2 he began to act the suppliant. 
 
 Apollo. What then ? Did Hephaestus release them ? 
 
 Hermes. Hot at all. On the contrary, summoning all 
 
 1 ’Hur’ Άράχνια λεπτά —“ As fine as a cobweb,” according to the poet 
 of the Odyssey. (Οδ. viii. 280.) The δεσμά of the text, apparently, was 
 an extremely fine wire-net. 
 
 2 “ Τώ δ’ες δεμν'ια βάντε κατεδραθον, άμφί δε δεσμοί 
 Τ εχνηεντες εχυντο πολΰφρονος 'Η φαίστοιο. 
 
 θΰδέ τι κινησαι μελεων ην, ονδ ’ άναεϊραα 
 
 Και τότε δή -γίγνώσκον , or’ οΰκ ετι φνκτά πελυνται.” 
 
 Cf. Ον., Mctam. iv. 2. Ars Am. ii. 573. Amorcs, i. 9. 
 
 D 
 
34 
 
 DIALOGUES OP THE GODS. 
 
 the Gods , 1 he discovers to them their adultery; while the 
 captives bound together naked, with eyes fixed on the 
 ground, show their confusion by their blushes: and the 
 spectacle appeared to me the pleasantest imaginable—all 
 but as good as the antecedent event itself . 2 
 
 Apollo. But that blacksmith—does he not himself, too, 
 feel shame in exposing the disgrace of his marriage-bed ? 
 
 Hermes. No, by heaven ! not he, who, in fact, stands over 
 them and laughs at them. For myself, however, if one 
 must speak the truth, I did grudge Ares not only his 
 intrigue with the fairest of the Goddesses, but even his 
 being bound with her. 
 
 Apollo. Then would you really endure even to be fettered 
 upon that condition ? 
 
 Hermes. And would you not, my dear Apollo ? Only 
 come and have a look; for I will commend you, if you 
 would not yourself, too, pray for the like good fortune, if 
 you did but see . 3 
 
 XVIII. 
 
 HER A DENOUNCES, AND ZEUS DEFENDS, THE CHARACTER 
 
 OF BACCHUS. 
 
 Hera and Zeus. 
 
 Hera. I should be ashamed, Zeus, if I had such an 
 
 1 The Goddesses, as the poet of the Odyssey carefully informs us, did 
 not sanction the stratagem of Hephaestus, and absented themselves :— 
 
 ’θηΧυτεραι δε θεαί μενον αίδοϊ οικοι έκαστη. — Ό$. viii. 324. 
 
 2 ΆΙονονουχι αυτό γεγνόμενον τό εργον. “Έργον et ενεργείν, in re 
 Venerea, pervulgati sunt usus.”—Hemst. One commentator (Jen- 
 sius) interprets the words of Hermes, τό θέαμα ήδιστον — εργον,' as 
 implying: “ Scilicet ferme ita hoc spectaculo delectatus fui, quam si 
 ipse iisdem fruerer gaudiis.” Cf. Plato, Πόλ. ill., who condemns this, 
 with other Homeric theology, as immoral and improper. 
 
 3 Lucian has not at all “improved upon” the free confessions of 
 Hermes, as given by the poet of the Odyssey: — 
 
 “*Ai yap τοϋτο γενοίτο, άναζ εκατηβόΧ’ ” ΑττοΧΧον , 
 
 Αέσμοε μεν τρις τόσσοι άττείρονες άμφις εχοιεν , 
 
 ‘Ύμεϊς δ’ είσορόωτε θεοί, πάσαι τε θεαιναι, 
 
 Αύτάρ εγων ευδοιμι τταρά χρυσή Άφροδίτ y.” 
 
 Hermes and Apollo are, appropriately, the interlocutors in this 
 dialogue, since they are specially named in the Homeric epos. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 35 
 
 effeminate son, and so debauched a drunkard, with his hair 
 bound with the women’s head band, associating chiefly with 
 frantic women, more effeminate than themselves, dancing 
 to the noise of drums, and pipe, and cymbals, and, in short, 
 like anything rather than his father. 
 
 Zeus. Yet this effeminate mitre-wearer , 1 who goes more 
 delicately than women, Hera, not only conquered Lydia, 
 and took captive the inhabitants of Tmolus, and brought 
 the Thracians under his yoke, but also made an expedition 
 against the Indians with that army of women, took pos¬ 
 session of the elephants, and made himself master of the 
 country, and led away captive the king who dared to offer 
 him a brief resistance; and all this he did while leaping 
 about, and dancing with his chorus , 2 bearing the ivy- 
 wreathed thyrsus, drunk, as you say, and in bacchanalian 
 frenzy. But if anyone attempts to insult him by showing 
 contempt for the initiation into his mystic rites , 3 he certainly 
 avenges himself on him either by binding him with vine- 
 twigs, or by causing him to be torn in pieces by his mother 
 like a fawn . 4 Do you observe how manly these actions are, 
 and not unworthy of his father ? And if playful sportive¬ 
 ness and wantonness are combined with them, there is no 
 cause for grudging them to him ; and, especially, if one con¬ 
 siders what he would be sober, when he performs such 
 actions drunk. 
 
 Sera. You appear to me to be going to commend also 
 his discovery—the vine and wine—and that, though you 
 see how drunkards behave, staggering along, and betaking 
 themselves to insolence and violence, and, in a word, mad- 
 
 1 See θ. Δ. ii.; Cf. Euripides, Βάκχαι ; Ovid, Metam. iii. 8 . xi. 1-2 ; 
 Apollod. iii. 5 ·, Hor. Car. ii. 19 ; Virg. JEn. vii. 373. 
 
 2 Όρχουμενος αμα και χορενων. Χ,ορεΰων differs from the preceding 
 verb in implying the circular dance, and has particular reference to the 
 dithyrambic and dramatic chorus round the altar of Dionysus. The 
 thyrsus was one of the -well-known insignia of the God of Wine. It was 
 a pole, or wand, enwreathed with vine and ivy leaves, and crowned with 
 a pine cone. 
 
 3 Την τελετήν. Lit., “ the perfecting ” or “ perfection” (τέλος), used 
 of the sacred mystei*ies. Cf. Herod, ii. 171. iv. 79 5 Plato, Φαιδρός, 240. 
 
 4 As was Pentheus, king of Thebes, for opposing the introduction of 
 the Bacchic worship and ritual into his city. See Βάκχαι; Pausanias, 
 ii. 2 ; Ov. Met. iii., 514. 
 
36 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 dened under the influence of the drink. As for Ikarius, 
 at all events, to whom he first gave the vine-shoot, his boon 
 companions themselves destroyed him by striking him with 
 their spades . 1 
 
 Zeus. That is nothing to the purpose ; for it’s not the 
 w r ine nor Dionysus that does this, but immoderateness in 
 drinking, and filling oneself with unmixed wine beyond 
 what is becoming . 2 But a man, who should drink within 
 the bounds of moderation, will be of a more jovial and 
 genial disposition. And as to the fate of Ikarius, he 
 [Dionysus] could not have designed any harm to any of 
 his boon companions. But you seem to me to be still 
 jealous, Hera, and to remember Semele, since you calum¬ 
 niate the finest and fairest gifts of Dionysus . 3 * 
 
 XIX. 
 
 EROS EXPLAINS TO HIS MOTHER WHY HE DOES NOT ASSAIL 
 ATHENA, THE MUS.®, AND ARTEMIS. 
 
 Aphrodite and Ur os. 
 
 Aphrodite. Pray, why in the world, my dear Eros, have 
 you completely subdued to yourself all the rest of the 
 Gods—Zeus, Poseidon, Apollo, Rhea, me, your mother— 
 and kept your hands off Athena alone ; and why, as far as 
 she is concerned, is your torch without a spark, your quiver 
 empty of arrows, and yourself without a bow and without 
 practice ? 
 
 Ur os. I am afraid of her, mother, for she is terrible, and 
 
 1 See Apollod. iii. 14, for the fate of Ikarius, who—by a cause oppo¬ 
 site to that of the death of Pentheus—fell a victim to Bacchic fury, and 
 for the adventures of his daughter Erigone and her faithful dog Msera, 
 who, after death, were translated to the heavens. 
 
 2 The Greeks usually drank their wine diluted with water, and it was 
 a mark of intemperance and barbarism to drink it unmixed. The Spar¬ 
 tans, according to Herodotus, believed that their king Kleomenes had 
 become mad in this way (vi. 84); Cf. Plato, Νόμ., i.; Athenseus, Αειπ. 
 vi.; iElian, ‘Ιστ. IIotK, ii. 37. 
 
 3 Cf. Plutarch, Περί της Σαρκοφαγίας , i. 2. τι καταψενδεσθε τής γης ; 
 
 κ.τ.λ. Even “ half and half 5 ’ was held to be intoxicating, nor was wine 
 
 ever drunk during eating. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 37 
 
 her eyes burn with a fierce brightness , 1 and she is dread¬ 
 fully masculine. At all events, whenever I advance to¬ 
 wards her with bent bow, she shakes her crest at me, and 
 frightens me out of my wits, and I am all of a tremble, 
 and my arrows slip from my hands. 
 
 Aphrodite. Why, was not Ares more alarming ? and yet 
 you disarmed him in a moment, and have conquered him. 
 
 Eros. Yes, but he readily allows me to approach him, 
 and invites me of his own accord, while Athena is always 
 watching me suspiciously and secretly: and once I flew by 
 her, casually, with my torch, and said she, “ If you come 
 near me, by my father, I will run you through in a moment * 
 with my pretty spear, or I will seize you by the foot and 
 pitch you into Tartarus, or tear you in pieces with my own 
 hand, and be the death of you.” Many such threats has 
 she uttered, and she puts on sour looks, and has on her 
 breast a frightful sort of face, with snakes all over for hair, 
 which is my especial horror, for it frightens me like a very 
 Mormo , 2 and I flee whenever I catch a glimpse of it. 
 
 Aphrodite. But you fear Athena, as you say, and the 
 Gorgon, and that, though you are not afraid of the thunder¬ 
 bolt of Zeus ! And the Muses—why are they unwounded 
 and out of reach of your darts ? Do they, too, shake crests, 
 and exhibit Gorgons in front of them P 
 
 Eros. I have an awe of them, mother, for they are grave 
 and respectable, and are always in some profound medita- 
 
 1 Χαροττή. Lit.,“ joyous-eyed” {χάρα — ώψ). Applied to the Goddess 
 of (scientific) War, it denoted an extraordinary combination of brilliancy 
 and fierceness. Cf. Homeric Hymn to Hermes (Shelley’s version), 
 Hesiod, 0£oy. 321 ; Lucian, θ. Δ. vii. ; Ne/cp. Δ«ιΧ. i. 3. 
 
 2 ΝορμοΧνττΕται. (Μ ορμώ). Mormo, Empusa, the Lamia, and other 
 monsters and goblins of the Greek nursery, apparently, were almost as 
 much used to keep children in order as similar objects of popular super¬ 
 stition are (or lately were), employed in the English nursery. Cf. 
 Aristoph. Ειρήνη, 466. Άχαρν. 557. Barp. 285-296 ; Theok. Έίδ. xv. 40, 
 where Praxinoa tells her baby that Mormo “bites.” “We relate to 
 children,” says Strabo, “ pleasing tales to incite them to [any course of] 
 action, and frightful ones to deter them, such as those of Lamia, Gorgo, 
 Ephialtes, and Mormolyca [Mormo-wolf],” i. 2 (Bohn’s Transl.). 
 Lamia was a sort of witch, said to suck children’s blood (Hor. Ars Poet. 
 340), Ephialtes an “ incubus ” or “ nightmare.” 
 
 For a forcible representation of the Medusa-head, see the picture of 
 Lionardo da Vinci. 
 
38 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 tiom or other, and are occupied in song, and I often stand 
 by them, beguiled by their melody. 
 
 Aphrodite. Well, leave them out of the question, too, as 
 they are grave and respectable. But Artemis—why don’t 
 you inflict a wound on her ? 
 
 j Eros. In a word, it is impossible even to come up with her, 
 as she is always fleeing through the mountains . 1 Then, 
 too, she has already her own peculiar kind of love. 
 
 Aphrodite. For what, child ? 
 
 Eros. The hunting of stags and fawns, pursuing them 
 for the purpose of capturing them or shooting them down, 
 and she is entirely devoted to that sort of thing. When, 
 however, her brother, although an archer himself and a 
 far-shooter 2 - 
 
 Aphrodite. I know, child, you have shot your arrow at. 
 him often enough. 
 
 XX. 
 
 THE JUDGMENT OF PARIS. 
 
 Zeus , Hermes , Hera, Athena , Aphrodite , Paris or Alexander. 
 
 Zeus. Take this apple here, Hermes, and hie to Phrygia, 
 to the presence of the son of Priam, the cowherd—he is 
 tending his cows on the Gfargarus 3 -summit of Ida—and 
 say to him: “ Paris, Zeus bids you, since you are yourself 
 a good-looking youth, and clever in love-matters, to decide 
 for the Goddesses here which is the most beautiful. And 
 let the winner receive the apple as the prize of the contest.” 
 And now, Goddesses , it is quite time for yourselves to set off 
 to the presence of your judge. For, for my part, I decline, 
 for myself, the office of arbitrator, loving you, as I do, with 
 equal affection; and, if it were only possible, I would with 
 pleasure see you all three winners. Especially do I decline , 
 
 1 “ Qualis in Eurotae ripis, aut per juga Cynthi, 
 
 Exercet Diana choros.. . .”— Mn. i. 498-9. 
 
 2 Έκηβόλον. See ΊΧ. passim. Aphrodite supplies the \ r erb for Eros. 
 
 3 Gargarus, one of the three mountains of which Ida consists. In 
 Strabo’s time they still shewed the scene of the famous Judgment upon 
 the mountain, which at that time was called Alexandria.—Wieland. 
 The Idaean range formed the southern boundary of the Troad. Gargara 
 or Gargarus has a height of some 5,000 ft. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 39 
 
 as in giving the prize of beauty to one, I must certainly 
 incur the hatred of the rest. For this reason I am myself 
 no suitable umpire for you—but this Phrygian youth, to 
 whom you are going, is of princely birth, and is a relative 
 of Gfanymedes here . 1 In other respects, he is simple and 
 mountain-bred. Ho one would think him unworthy of 
 such a spectacle. 
 
 Aphrodite. As far as I am concerned, Zeus, even though 
 you should appoint Momus 2 himself our judge, I will cheer¬ 
 fully go to the exhibition; for, indeed, what could he have 
 to find fault with in me ? The man, however, will have to 
 satisfy these goddesses, too. 
 
 Hera. Oh ! it’s not we, Aphrodite, who have to fear—no, 
 not though your own Ares should be entrusted with the 
 arbitration. May we, also, accept this Paris, whoever 
 he may be. 
 
 Zeus. And does this content you, daughter, too P What 
 say you ? You turn away and blush ? It is the privilege 
 of you virgins, indeed, to be shy about" such matters ; but 
 you nod assent, however. Away with you all, then, and see 
 that you are not hard upon your judge—you who have been 
 vanquished, and don’t have any mischief inflicted on the 
 youth. For it’s not possible for you to be all equally beauties. 
 
 Hermes. Let us start off straight for Phrygia, I leading 
 the way, and do you follow me without loitering, and keep 
 up your spirits. I am personally acquainted with Paris; 
 he is a good-looking youth, and amorous into the bargain, 
 and very competent to judge in all such matters. He 
 would not give a bad judgment. 
 
 Aphrodite. That is all fair, and you speak quite after my 
 mind—that he is the right judge for us. [Confiden¬ 
 tially] Butf is he a bachelor, or has he some wife or other 
 living with him ? 
 
 Hermes. Hot absolutely a bachelor, Aphrodite. 
 
 Aphrodite. How do you mean ? 
 
 1 See θ. Δ. iv. v. 
 
 2 Momus, who acted as Censor and Critic in ordinary at the Olym¬ 
 pian Court, according to Hesiod, derived his obscure parentage from the 
 Goddess Νύξ. He does not appear in the Homeric epics. See Lucian’s 
 Ζεός Ύραγψδός (“ Zeus the Tragedian ”), where Momus takes a prominent 
 part, and uses his privilege very much a propos. 
 
40 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 Hermes. Some lady of Ida 1 appears to be keeping com¬ 
 pany with him—well enough in her way, but countrified 
 and dreadfully boorish. However, he does not seem to be 
 excessively attached to her. But, pray, why do you put 
 these questions ? 
 
 Aphrodite. I asked quite indifferently. 
 
 Athena. Holloa! you Sir, there, you are exceeding your 
 commission in communicating with her in private. 
 
 Hermes. It was nothing extraordinary, Athena, and 
 nothing against you. She only asked me if Paris is a 
 bachelor. 
 
 Athena. And pray, why is she so inquisitive about that ? 
 
 Hermes. I don’t know. But she says it occurred to her 
 quite casually, and she had no purpose in asking. 
 
 Athena. Well, is he unmarried ? 
 
 Hermes. I think not. 
 
 Athena. What then ? Has he a desire for the military 
 life, and is he at all ambitious for glory, or is he altogether 
 devoted to his herds P 
 
 Hermes. The exact truth I am unable to say: but one 
 must suppose that a young fellow like him would be eager 
 to acquire fame in these things, and would like to be first 
 in fighting. 
 
 Aphrodite ( pouting ). Do you see ? I don’t find fault, nor 
 charge you with talking to her on the sly—for such sort of 
 querulousness is peculiar to people not over much pleased 
 with themselves : it’s not Aphrodite’s way. 
 
 Hermes. Indeed she asked me almost exactly the same 
 question as she did you: so don’t be in a pet, and don’t 
 imagine you are worse treated, if I answered her somewhat 
 frankly and simply. But while we are talking, we have 
 already advanced far on our road, and-taken leave of the 
 stars , 2 and, in fact, are almost opposite Phrygia. And now, 
 in fact, I see Ida and the whole of Gargarus distinctly, and, 
 if I am not deceived, Paris himself, your umpire. 
 
 Hera. But where is he ? For he is not visible to my 
 eyes. 
 
 Hermes. Look carefully there to the left, Hera—not near 
 
 1 GEnone, the Naiad or river-nymph. See Ovid, (Enone Paridi, and 
 Tennyson’s poem. 
 
 2 Απεσπάσαμεν των άστέρων. Cf. ’ΐκάρο-Μενίππος. xi. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 41 
 
 the top of the mountain, but along the flank, where the 
 cave is; there, where you see the herd. 
 
 Hera. But I don't see the herd. 
 
 Hermes. How ? Do you not see tiny cows in the direc¬ 
 tion of my finger, so,—advancing from the midst of the 
 rocks, and some one running down from the cliff with a 
 shepherd’s crook, and stopping them from scattering a- 
 head ? 
 
 Hera. How I see, if it really is he. 
 
 Hermes. But it is. And since we are now so near, let 
 us, if you please, settle down on terra firma, and walk, that 
 we may not quite disconcert him by flying down all on a 
 sudden from the clouds. 
 
 Hera. You are right; so let us do—and now we have 
 made our own descent, it is high time for you, Aphrodite, 
 to advance and show us the way. For you, as is reason¬ 
 able to expect, are well acquainted with the locality, 
 having frequently, as report goes, come down here to 
 Anchises. 1 
 
 Aphrodite. These sneers of yours, Hera, don’t disturb me 
 over much. 
 
 Hermes. Well, I will act as your guide and chaperon; 
 for I myself, in fact, passed some time on Ida when Zeus, 
 to be sure, was in love with the Phrygian boy ; 2 and often 
 have I come here, when sent down to look after the child. 
 And when, at length, he was mounted on the eagle, 3 1 flew by 
 his side with him, and helped to support my handsome 
 charge : and, if I recollect aright, from this rock here he 
 snatched him up—for the boy happened to be piping to his 
 flock at the moment—and flying down himself, from be¬ 
 hind, 4 Zeus very lightly embraced him in his talons, and, 
 grasping his turban with his beak, bore the lad aloft in a 
 terrible state of alarm, as he was gazing on his ravisher 
 with neck bent backwards. Then, picking up his shep¬ 
 herd’s pipe, for he had let it fall in his fright, I—but excuse 
 
 1 The father of iEneas. For divulging his intimacy with the Goddess 
 he w T as either struck dead, or severely injured by lightning. 
 
 2 Ganymedes. See θ. Δ. iv. 
 
 3 Le Clerc, followed by Jacobitz, interprets Έν τφ άετψ of Zeus, “ in 
 the form of an eagle.” 
 
 4 Or (perhaps the preferable reading) οπιςθεν αΰτοΰ, “ behind him.” 
 
42 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 me, for here is our umpire close at hand: so let us accost 
 him.—Good day to you, herdsman. 
 
 Paris. The same to you, young man. But who are you, 
 and what is the purpose of your visit to us ? What ladies 
 are these you are conducting ? For such town belles 
 as they are, they are not fitted for roving over rough 
 mountains. 
 
 Hermes. But they are not women, Paris ; but it is Hera, 
 and Athena, and Aphrodite you see; and I, I am the God 
 Hermes Zeus has sent with them. But why do you 
 tremble and turn so pale ? Don’t be frightened, for there 
 is nothing to be afraid of. He only bids you to be the 
 judge of their beauty: “for since,” says he, “you are a 
 handsome youth yourself, and clever in love-matters, I 
 entrust the judgment to you; and when you have read the 
 inscription on the apple, you will know the prize of the 
 contest.” 
 
 Paris. Come, let me see what it all means—“ Let the 
 beautiful one take me,” it says. How, pray, Sir Hermes, 
 could I, a mere mortal myself, and a simple peasant, too, 
 be a judge of so pretematurally wonderful a spectacle, and 
 one too great for a poor herdsman to decide upon ? To 
 judge in matters of such importance is rather for delicately- 
 nurtured persons and courtiers : but, for my part, whether 
 one she-goat be more beautiful than another she-goat, or 
 one heifer surpasses another heifer in beauty I could per¬ 
 haps decide secundum artem. But these ladies are all 
 equally beautiful, and I don’t know how a man could 
 wrench away his gaze and transfer it from the one to the 
 other; for it will not easily unfix itself, but where it first 
 rests, to that part it clings, and commends what’s imme¬ 
 diately before it. And even though it pass on to another 
 part, that too it sees to be beautiful, and lingers, and is 
 caught by the adjoining charms; and, in short, their 
 beauty has circumfused itself about me, and wholly taken 
 possession of me, and I am vexed that I, too, cannot, like 
 Argusj see with all my body. I think I should judge 
 fairly, if I give the apple to all: for, indeed, there is this 
 
 1 As in other of his similar descriptions, Lucian probably had in mind 
 some well-known picture, or sculpture, of the scene. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 43 
 
 difficulty besides ; it happens that this lady is the sister and 
 wife of Zens, 1 and that these are his daughters. How, I 
 should like to know, is not the decision a hard one from 
 this point of view, too ? 
 
 Hermes. I don’t know about that: but it’s not possible 
 to shirk the commands of Zeus, I know. 
 
 Paris. This one thing, Hermes, persuade them to—that 
 the two defeated ladies be not angry with me, but consider 
 the error to attach to my eyes alone. 
 
 Hermes. ( confers with the Goddesses, apart.') They pro¬ 
 mise to comply with your request. And now it is high 
 time for you to proceed with your judgment. 
 
 Paris. I will do my best endeavours, for how can one 
 help it P But this first I wish to know—will it be quite 
 enough to view them as they are, or will it be necessary to 
 make them undress for an accurate examination ? 
 
 Hermes. That must be your part as judge to decide. 
 Give your orders how and in what way you like. 
 
 Paris. How I like, really ? I wish to see them un¬ 
 dressed. 2 
 
 . Hermes. Ho, you ladies there, off with your clothes. 3 
 (To Paris.) For your part make a thorough survey—as for 
 me, I avert my face at once. 
 
 Hera. Very well said , Paris, and I will be the first to 
 undress, that you may perceive that I have not only 
 “ white arms,” and that I am not proud of having “ cow’s- 
 eyes ” 4 only, but that I am equally and proportionally 
 beautiful all over. 
 
 Paris. Off with your clothes, too, Aphrodite. 
 
 1 “ Ast ego, qum divom incedo regina, Iovisque 
 Et soror, et conjunx.”— 2En. i. 46, 47. 
 
 2 Τυμνας, which has not, necessarily, the meaning of our word naked ; 
 but, like the Latin nudus , may mean only “ stripped to the shirt.” Here 
 it must be taken in the former sense. 
 
 3 Άπόδντε, ώ ανται. “ Zieht euch aus, ihr da,” remarks Wieland, 
 “ addressed to these Goddesses, sounds startling to modern ears; we 
 have, in Lucian, very often occasion to see that between Greek ur¬ 
 banity and our politeness of to-day. there prevails no little difference.” 
 
 4 The well-known epithets applied, in the Iliad, to the Queen of 
 Heaven — ΧευκώΧενος and βόωττις ; the latter beautiful simile, and dis¬ 
 tinguished compliment, English translators usually, with some inade¬ 
 quacy, have given as “ ox-eyed.” 
 
44 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 Athena. Don’t let her undress, 1 Paris, before she lays 
 aside her cestus 2 —for she is an enchantress—for fear she 
 may bewitch you by its means. Indeed, she ought not 
 either to have appeared here so meretriciously tricked out, 
 nor painted up with so many dyes 3 and cosmetics for all 
 the world as if she were in fact some lady of the demi¬ 
 monde, 4 but have exhibited her beauty unadorned. 
 
 Paris, (turning to Aphrodite.) They are quite right as 
 to that cestus of yours : so you must e’en doff it. 
 
 Aphrodite. Why, then, do you not also, Athena, doff 
 that helmet of yours, and display your bare head, instead 
 of shaking that plumed crest and terrifying your judge ? 
 Are you afraid that fiercely-glaring look about your eyes, 0 
 seen without that frightful object, may be set down to 
 your discredit ? 
 
 Athena. There, I have taken off this objectionable helmet, 
 for your satisfaction. 
 
 Aphrodite. There, too, is the cestus, for yours. 
 
 I 
 
 1 Άποδυσης. “ Must not Lucian,” asks Wieland, “ have written 
 απόλυσης ? Denn Paris zog sie doch wohl niclit eigenkandig aus.” 
 But we are not obliged by the received text to suppose that Paris was to 
 undress the Goddess with his own hands. 
 
 2 See Ίλ. xiv. for a description of this supreme charm of the Goddess 
 of Beauty:— 
 
 “ κ'εστον ιμάντα 
 Ποικ/λον * ένθα δε οι θελκτηρια πάντα τετυκτο. 
 
 *Ενθ’ ενι μεν φιλότης , εν δ’ ' ίμερος, εν δ / όαριστυς, 
 
 Πάρ^ασις, ή τ’ εκλεψε νόον πνκα περ φρονεόντων ,” 
 
 as borrowed, on a memorable occasion, by Hera, who seems to have for¬ 
 gotten her obligations. Cf. Gerusalemme Lib., xvi. 24, and Faerie 
 Queen iv. 5. 
 
 3 Τοσαϋνα εντετριμμενην χρώματα. Cf. Aristophanes, ’Εκκλης., 732 ; 
 Ανσιστράτα, 149 ; Lucian, Δϊς Κατηγ, 31. 
 
 4 Έταίραν. Here distinguished from πόρνη, “ an unfortunate.” The 
 former (in the better meaning of the word) belonged, like the celebrated 
 Aspasia, to a class of women who were sometimes in high esteem in 
 Athens. But the distinction did not universally hold. See Becker’s 
 Chariclcs. 'Εταίρα, etymologically, means simply “a lady-friend.” 
 
 To -γλαυκόν. Alluding to the well-known Homeric epithet γλαυκώπις. 
 The shade of colour implied seems to be grayish, or light-blue. The 
 original meaning of the word was “bright-glancing” or “glaring.” 
 Latin, ccesius. Cf. “ Csesia virgo ” Ter. Heauton. v. 5 ; Cicero, Be Fat. 
 Beor. i. 30. In the chryselephantine and other statues of the Goddess, 
 Pheidias and other Gx'eek artists, doubtless, gave a wonderfully life¬ 
 like vivacity to the eyes by means of precious stones and enamels. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 45 - 
 
 Hera. Well, let ns undress. 
 
 Paris (expressing, in his features , the utmost admiration). 
 0 Zeus, worker of miracles! the glorious vision l the 
 beauty ! the delight! How superb is the Virgin-Goddess ! 
 And how right royally, and with what dignity does this God¬ 
 dess [Hera] shine in all her splendour ! and how truly right 
 worthy of Zeus ! But how sweetly does this Goddess here 
 [Aphrodite] look ; and what a kind of pretty, seducing smile 
 she has !—Well, now I have enough of this felicity—but, 
 if it is agreeable, I wish to have a look at each of them sepa¬ 
 rately, in private ; as, at present, I am really in doubt, and 
 don’t know on what part to fix my gaze, for my eyes are 
 distracted in every direction. 
 
 Aphrodite. Let us do as he wishes. 
 
 Paris. Withdraw then, you two, and do you, Hera,, 
 remain. 
 
 Hera. I will do so—And, after you have had a good look 
 at me, it will be time for you to consider other matters 
 besides—whether the gifts at my disposal , in return for your 
 vote, do not appear fair to you. For if, my dear Paris, you 
 award me the prize of beauty, you shall be lord of all Asia. 1 
 
 Paris. Our decision depends not on bribes. How with¬ 
 draw, please ; for whatever seems proper will have to be 
 done hereafter. And, now, Athena, do you approach. 
 
 Athena. Here I am at your service. And, in my turn, 
 Paris, if you award to me the prize of beauty, you shall 
 never come out of battle worsted, but always victorious ; 
 for I will make a warrior and a conqueror of you. 
 
 Paris. I don’t want war and fighting, Athena; for 
 peace, as you see, at present, prevails both in Phrygia and 
 in Lydia, and my father’s kingdom is free from war. But 
 never mind, for you shall not be the worse for it, even 
 though we do not give judgment for bribes. Well, now 
 put on your clothes again, and replace the helmet on your 
 head, for I have seen enough. It is now time for Aphrodite 
 to appear. 
 
 1 In Greek geography, Asia was limited (in the Homeric epics) to 
 the S.W. of what is now called, in modern European geography, Asia 
 Minor. Afterwards, it gradually extended beyond the limits of the 
 “Lesser Asia”eastwards to the Euphrates and Tigris, which first was 
 opened to Greek knowledge by the conquests of Alexander of Macedon. 
 
46 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 Aphrodite. Here am I at your elbow, and examine care¬ 
 fully each part of me, one by one, passing over nothing, 
 but dwelling upon every one of my charms; and, if you 
 will, my handsome youth, listen to this from me. I have 
 reason to ash you to do so; for I have long ago observed yon 
 to be young and good-looking, of such sort, that I doubt if 
 all Phrygia supports another like you, and I congratulate 
 you on your good looks: but I blame you, that you do not 
 leave these lonely cliffs and these rocks, and go and live in 
 the city, instead of wasting your sweetness on the desert 
 air. Por what enjoyment can such as you obtain from the 
 mountains ? And what satisfaction can your cows derive 
 from your handsome face ? You ought by this time to 
 have married—not, however, some hoydenish and rustic 
 girl, such as are the women of Ida, but some girl out of 
 Hellas, from Argos, or from Korinth, or a Spartan lady, 
 such as Helen, young and beautiful, and in no way inferior 
 to myself; and, what is, indeed, most to the point, of an 
 amorous disposition. For, I tell you, if she were but only 
 to see you, she would, I am sure, leave all and give herself 
 up soul and body to you, and would follow your fortunes 
 and live with you. But, surely, even you have heard 
 something of her fame. 
 
 Paris. Hot a word, Aphrodite, and I should now be glad 
 to hear from you a full account of her. 
 
 Aphrodite. She is the daughter of Leda, the famous 
 beauty, to whom Zeus flew down in the shape of a swan. 
 
 Pai ds. What is she like to look at ? 
 
 Aphrodite. Pale and fair, as the daughter of a swan 
 might be expected to be, and delicate, like one bred in an 
 egg; trained naked, for the most part, in the gymnasium , 
 and skilled in the art of wrestling. 1 And she has been, in 
 a manner, so much, indeed, in request that there has even 
 been a war on her account, Theseus having run away with 
 
 1 The Spartan girls, as is well known, were trained in the same 
 Palcestra , or Gymnasium, with the boys, with whom they contended 
 ■γνμναι, i.e., probably, in their chitons. Cf. Λυσίστρατα, and the accom¬ 
 plishments of the Spartan lady Lampito (80-85). Wieland objects that 
 “ Venus here commits an anachronism, apparently : for this gymnastic 
 practice of the Spartan girls is represented as in force before the 
 Lycurgan laws.” 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 47 
 
 her when not yet in her teens : 1 not, indeed, but that, since 
 she arrived at her majority, all the greatest princes of 
 the Achaeans met together to woo her, and Menelans, 
 of the family of the Pelopidag, was preferred. If you 
 wish it, I say, I will bring about the nuptials for you. 
 
 Paris. What, with a girl already married P 
 
 Aphrodite. You are young and countrified. I know, 
 however, how affairs of this sort are to be managed. 
 
 Paris. How ? For I should like to know, too, myself. 
 
 Aphrodite. You will set out on your travels, as if with 
 the purpose of seeing Hellas, and, as soon as ever you 
 arrive at Lacedaemon, Helen shall see you; and from that 
 moment it would be my business that she shall fall in love, 
 and run away with you. 
 
 Paris. That’s the very thing that seems to me hard to 
 believe—that she should leave her husband, and be ready 
 to sail off with a foreigner and a stranger. 
 
 Aphrodite. As far as that’s concerned, have no fear, for 
 I have two handsome boys, Desire and Love: 2 them I will 
 give you to be guides of the way; and Love, stealthily as¬ 
 sailing her with all his might, will compel the lady to fall 
 in love, while Desire, shedding his whole influence over 
 yourself, will render you what he is himself, an object of 
 desire and of love—and I will be present in person to assist 
 them. I will request of the Graces, also, to attend you, so 
 that all of us together may persuade her. 
 
 Paris. How it will all turn out, is not clear, Aphrodite. 
 But I am already in love with this Helen, and I fancy, I 
 
 1 "Αωρον. Lit. “ immature.” With the aid of his friend Peirithous, 
 Theseus had carried her off to Athens, from which involuntary escapade 
 and captivity she was brought back by her twin brothers Kastor 
 and Polydeukes. Lucian represents her as maintaining her extra¬ 
 ordinarily fascinating charms even in the future life. During his 
 memorable visit to the Isle of the Blessed, she again elopes from her 
 husband Menelaus with a certain handsome youth; although, we 
 are assured, she was this time quickly recaptui’ed by her uxorious 
 lord. See the ’Αληθής Ίστ. ii. 335. 
 
 2 '“'Ιμερος καί*Ερως. See Hesiod, θεογ. 201. One of the most famous 
 representations of these attendants of Aphrodite was the sculpture 
 of Skopas at Megara. With them was figured, also, Πόθος (“ Passionate 
 Longing”), who is introduced below. See Ίλ. iii. 440-445, Lucian, 
 Άλάυς, 36, Paus. ‘EX. 'Περ. i. Pliny, Hist. Nat. xxxvi. 5. 
 
48 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 don’t know how, I even see her, and am on my voyage 
 straight for Hellas, and am staying at Sparta—yes, and 
 am now returning home with my wife, and I feel vexed I 
 am not already engaged about all this. 
 
 Aphrodite. Don’t fall in love, Paris, before you have 
 rewarded your match-maker and the bridesmaid 1 with 
 your favourable sentence : for it would be proper for me, 
 too, to be with you as the bringer of victory, and at once to 
 celebrate your marriage 2 and to sing your triumphal odes. 
 For it is in your own power to purchase everything—love, 
 beauty, marriage—with this apple here. 
 
 Paris. I am afraid that, after the verdict, you may 
 forget me. 
 
 Aphrodite. Would you have me, then, give you my oath 
 upon it ? 
 
 Paris. Not at all. But just promise me once again. 
 
 Aphrodite. I promise you, I say, to give over to you 
 Helen for your wife, and that she shall run away with you 
 and shall come to Ilium to you; I myself will certainly be 
 present, and will assist you in everything. 
 
 Paris. And you will bring Love and Desire and the 
 Graces ? 
 
 Aphrodite. Be sure of it, and I will take with me 
 Passionate Longing and Hymen, besides. 
 
 Paris. On these conditions, then, I give the apple to 
 you : on these conditions receive it. 3 
 
 1 Έυμφαγω-γόν. Lit. “the conductor of the bride.” The special 
 name applied to the friend of the bridegroom, who conducted the bride 
 to her new home, when the former was a widower—in which case it 
 was not proper for the husband to fetch her himself. See Hesychius. 
 
 2 Γ άμους. The plural form, in later Greek, is very frequent. The 
 word -γάμος , strictly, was the “wedding-feast,” which, with the Greeks, 
 formed the only legal witness of the marriage. Tor νικηφόρον “ victory- 
 bringer,” it has been proposed to read κανηφόρον, “ basket-carrier,” the 
 young girl who bore the sacred fruits in the Panathenaic festival at 
 Athens. But neither the authority of the MSS. nor probability recom¬ 
 mends the substitute. 
 
 3 See Ίλ. xxiv. 25-28 for the only reference to the “ Judicium Paridis, 
 spretaeque injuria formae” in the Homeric epic. For an eloquent 
 description of a representation of this scene on Mt. Ida, in the amphi¬ 
 theatre at Corinth, where the Goddesses are personated by young and 
 beautiful girls, see Apuleius, Oe Aureo Asino. Cf. Euripides, in his An¬ 
 dromache and Helene. In the Greek Anthologia an epigrammatist, in· 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 49 
 
 XXI. 
 
 ARES RIDICULES THE THREAT OP ZEUS, AND THE CHAIN LET 
 
 DOWN FROM HEAVEN. 
 
 Ares and Hermes. 
 
 Ares. Did you hear, Hermes, what threats Zeus uttered 
 against us, how arrogant and absurd ? “ If I should have 
 
 a mind to it,” says he, “ I will let down a chain from 
 Heaven, and you shall hang on it and use all your force to 
 pull me down, but you will labour in vain; for you will 
 certainly not drag me down. Whereas should I wish to 
 drag it up, not only you but both the Earth and Sea I will 
 fasten together and suspend in mid air.” 1 And all the 
 other menaces, which surely you have heard. Xow I, for 
 my part, would not deny that he is superior to and stronger 
 than any of us taken separately; but that he surpasses so 
 many of us together, so that we could not wear him out, 
 even though we brought to our aid Earth and Sea—that I 
 could not believe. 
 
 Hermes. Eair speech, 2 my dear Ares ; for it’s not safe to 
 speak in this sort of way, for fear we reap some mischief 
 from your idle talk. 
 
 Ares. Why, do you suppose that I should say this to 
 everyone, and not to you alone, who, I knew, can hold 
 
 reference to three rival beauties of his day, expresses his feeling on the 
 Judgment thus:— 
 
 “ Rhodope, Melite, Rhodokleia contended with one another, which of 
 the three had the most beauty, and they chose me as a judge; and they 
 stood, as the Goddesses, gazed at from all sides, wanting nectar alone. 
 But clearly knowing what Paris through his judgment suffered, I 
 sti*aight put crowns on the three immortals together.” See Greek 
 Anthology (Bohn’s Series). 
 
 1 See Ίλ. viii. 18-27. Lucian more than once seizes upon this fine 
 opportunity for his ridicule. Cf. Ζευς Έλεγ. 4 ; Ζευς Tpay. 45 ; Πώς δει 
 'I στ. σνγ. 8. Plato (θεαιΥ.) says the σεφήν χρνσειην is nothing less than 
 the Sun. 
 
 2 E νφημει. Lit. “ Speak words of good omen.” To what extent 
 Euphemism was cultivated by the Greeks is well known. It appears 
 conspicuously in such words as Eumenides, euonymos (left hand), 
 euphrone (night), Euxcinos (the Hospitable Sea). 
 
 E 
 
50 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 your tongue ? 1 But what, however, seemed to me especially 
 ridiculous, as I listened while he was threatening, I could 
 not possibly be silent about to you. Why, I remember, 
 no very long time before, when Poseidon and Hera 
 and Athena rose up 2 and conspired to seize him and put 
 him in fetters, how he resorted to all sorts of devices 
 in his terror, and that, though they were only three against 
 Mm; and, if Thetis, in fact, out of pity, had not sum¬ 
 moned to his aid Briareus of the hundred hands, 3 he would 
 have been bound hand and foot, his thunderbolt and all. 
 As I thought of this, it constrained me to laugh at his 
 fine grandiloquence. 
 
 Hermes. Hold your tongue, I say. For it is not safe 
 either for you to talk, or for me to hear, this sort of language. 
 
 XXII. 
 
 PAN PKGES HIS CLAIMS TO BE THE SON OF HERMES, WHO IS 
 UNWILLING TO ADMIT HIS PATERNITY. 
 
 Pan and Hermes. 
 
 Pan. How do you do, my father Hermes ? 4 
 
 Hermes. And how are you ? But how am I your father ? 
 
 Pan. Are you not, perchance, the Kyllenian Hermes ? 
 
 Hermes. Certainly. How, then, are you my son ? 
 
 Pan. I am the result of an irregular intrigue, your love- 
 child. 5 
 
 1 Έχεμυθεϊν. This word which, in other writers, occurs only in 
 Iamblichus, is found also in the Άλεκτρύων, 2 —Jacob. 
 
 2 See TA. i. 399-406, Ζευς T pay. 40. Cf. Strabo, i. 
 
 3 See Hesiod, θεογ. 149-153, 617, 714, 734. Virg. JEn. x. 567, 
 Ζευς T pay. 40. 
 
 4 Pan, the great rural divinity, was generally believed to be son of 
 Hermes by Kallisto, or Penelope, or some other Nymph. Apollodorus 
 makes him the son of Zeus. According to one account, he was son of 
 Penelope by all the wicked suitors. His most remarkable physical 
 characteristics were horns, a tail, and cloven feet. See Pausanias 
 (Αρκά?!.). In one respect, he may be considered to be the most in¬ 
 teresting figure in the Greek and Latin Pagan theologies, since it is 
 from that divinity Christian Diabolism has borrowed the principal and 
 popular (corporeal) features of our Devil. 
 
 5 An alternative reading is εξαίρετος (adopted by Jacobitz), extra 
 ordinem tibi natus. Lehmann prefers εξ έρωτος, as above. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 51 
 
 Hermes. By heaven, rather, probably, of an intrigue of 
 goats: for how could you be mine, with your horns, and 
 such a snub nose, and shaggy beard, and cloven feet, and 
 goatish legs, and tail upon your rump ? 
 
 Pan. Whatever sneers you aim at me, it is your own son 
 you render an object of reproach, my dear father, but 
 yourself still more, for begetting and making such offspring. 
 I am innocent of it all. 
 
 Hermes. And whom do you call your mother ? Have I 
 perchance had an intrigue with a goat without knowing it ? 
 
 Pan. You have not committed adultery with a goat: 
 but recollect yourself, if you have never offered violence to 
 a girl of gentle birth in Arcadia. Why do you bite your 
 thumb to find an answer, and remain in doubt so long ? I 
 allude to Penelope, the daughter of Ikarius. 1 
 
 Hermes. Then under what circumstances did she bring 
 you into the world, resembling a goat instead of myself ? 
 
 Pan. I will give you her very own story. Well, when 
 she despatched me to Arcadia, “ My child,” said she, “ I 
 am your mother, Penelope, of Sparta, and know you have 
 a God, Hermes, the son of Maia and Zeus, for your father. 
 And if you wear horns, and have the legs of a goat, let not 
 that circumstance distress you; for, when your father 
 visited me, he gave himself the form of a he-goat, to avoid 
 notice, and for that reason you have turned out very like 
 that animal. 
 
 Hermes. In truth, I remember to have done something 
 of the kind. Shall I, however, who pride myself so greatly 
 on my good looks, and am still without a beard, have the 
 reputation of being your father, and incur ridicule at the 
 hands of all on account of my lovely offspring ? 
 
 Pan. Yet I shall not disgrace you, father, for I am a 
 musician, and play the pipe with remarkable sweetness ; and 
 Bacchus can do nothing without me, but has made me his 
 companion and thyrsus-bearer for himself, and I lead the 
 dance for him. And if you could see my flocks too, what 
 a large number I possess in the neighbourhood of Tegea 
 
 1 King of Sparta. See Hyginus, ccxxiv. The later authorities, 
 deviating from the Homeric epos, represent the wife of Odysseus as by 
 no means the paragon of immaculateness of the earlier tradition. Some 
 allege magic. 
 
52 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 and all over Parthenius, 1 you would be greatly delighted. 
 And I rule over all Arcadia; and, but lately, having 
 fought on the side of the Athenians, I distinguished myself 
 so much at Marathon, that even a prize of valour was 
 awarded me, the cave under the Acropolis. 2 In fact, if 
 you go to Athens, you will know how great is the name of 
 Pan there. 
 
 Hermes. But tell me, have you already married, Pan ?— 
 for that, I believe, is what they call you. 
 
 Pan. Certainly not, father; for I am of an amorous 
 turn, and could never be content to live with one wife. 
 
 Hermes. Then, no doubt, you make love to your she- 
 goats. 
 
 Pan. You are indulging in sarcasm. I keep company 
 with Echo and with Pitys, 3 and with all the Mtenads of 
 Bacchus, and am made much of by them. 
 
 Hermes. Do you know, however, how you could gratify 
 me, my dear son, who ask a favour of you for the first time ? 
 
 Pan. Lay your commands upon me, father, and let us 
 know them. 
 
 Hermes. Come to me, then, and affectionately embrace 
 me: but see that you don’t call me father, at least in the 
 hearing of anybody else. 
 
 XXIII. 
 
 APOLLO REMARKS TO BACCHUS ON THE HETEROGENEOUSNESS 
 OF APHRODITE’S CHILDREN ; AVHILE BACCHUS EXPOSES THE 
 CHARACTER OF PRIAPUS. 
 
 Apollo and Dionysus. 
 
 Apollo. What should we say—that Eros, Hermaphroditus, 
 and Priapus are brothers 4 by the same mother, very unlike 
 
 1 Tegea, a town of Arcadia; Parthenius, a border-mountain of 
 Arcadia and Argolis, some 4,000 feet in height. Arcadia was the home 
 and especial haunt of the Shepherd divinity. Herod, vi. 105. 
 
 2 Cf. Pausanias, i. 32. 
 
 3 Por the Story of Echo see Ov. Metam. iii. 6. Pitys, one of the 
 many Nymphs loved by Pan, had been metamorphosed into, a Pine-tree. 
 
 4 Eros claimed as his parents Aphrodite and Ares, or, according to 
 some authorities, Zeus or Hermes; Hermaphroditus, as his name im- 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 53 
 
 though they are in external form, and in their pursuits ? 
 For the one is altogether handsome, and an archer, and, 
 invested with no small amount of power, rules over all; 
 while the second is womanish, and only half a man, and of 
 ambiguous appearance—you could not plainly distinguish 
 whether he is a young man 1 or a virgin. As for the third, 
 he is masculine beyond the bounds of all decency—Priapus, 
 I mean. 
 
 Dionysus. There is nothing to be surprised at, Apollo; 
 for Aphrodite is not the cause of it, but the different 
 fathers. Often, in fact, where the children are by the 
 same father, of the same mother, they are, like yourselves, 
 the one a male, the other a female. 
 
 Apollo. Yes, but we are alike, and follow the same pur¬ 
 suits—for we are archers, both of us. 
 
 Dionysus. As far as the bow is concerned, your occupa¬ 
 tion is the same, Apollo : but those other things are not 
 exactly similar—that Artemis murders strangers among 
 the Scythians, and you act the prophet, and set up for a 
 doctor. 
 
 Apollo. Why, do you imagine that my sister is happy 
 with the Scythians, seeing she is quite prepared, if any 
 Greek should ever happen to touch at the Tauric peninsula, 
 to sail away with him, loathing her sacrificial butchery p 2 
 
 Dionysus. And she does well to do so. As for Priapus, 
 however—for I will tell you something highly ridiculous— 
 being lately at Lampsacus, I was travelling by the city, 
 
 ports, Hermes and Aphrodite; Priapus, Aphrodite and Dionysus. 
 Priapus, the personification of natural fertility, was, as regards his 
 character and worship, like so many other divinities in the Hellenic 
 theology, a strange amalgam of Eastern and Western fancy. He was 
 pre-eminent by his ugliness as well as obscenity. As frequently repre¬ 
 sented in Art, Hermaphroditus was half male, half female. See 
 Diodorus, iv. 1. 
 
 1 * Εφηβος . The eplichus was the Athenian youth who had reached 
 the age of eighteen, when he was enrolled on the public Register as a 
 citizen : although he did not acquire the full rights of citizenship until 
 the age of twenty. Before taking his place among the ephebi , he under¬ 
 went strict scrutiny and was initiated by public ceremonies of a martial 
 character, analogously to the prevalent custom in barbarous countries 
 at this day. 
 
 2 See the Ιφιγένεια εν T avp. of Euripides and the Iphigcneia, of Gothe. 
 Cf. θ. Δ. xvi. 
 
54 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 and he received me hospitably, and gave me lodgings in his 
 house. When we had retired to rest, after having suffi¬ 
 ciently moistened ourselves at the dinner, somewhere about 
 midnight my excellent host got up—but I blush to tell you. 
 
 Apollo. Did he make an attempt on your virtue, Dionysus ? 
 
 Dionysus. Something of the sort. 
 
 Apollo. And you, what did you. do thereupon ? 
 
 Dionysus. Why, what else but laugh ? 
 
 Apollo. Well done ! that was acting in no nnkind or 
 uncivil manner. He was to be excused, indeed, considering 
 his attempt was directed against so good-looking a person¬ 
 age as yourself. 
 
 Dionysus. For that same reason, my dear Apollo, he 
 might direct his attention to you, too; for you are a good- 
 looking youth, and adorned with long flowing tresses, so 
 that Priapus might well attempt your virtue even in his 
 sober moments. . 
 
 Apollo. He will not do so, however, Dionysus; for, with 
 my flowing hair, I have my bows and arrows, also. 
 
 XXIV. 
 
 HERMES COMPLAINS TO HIS MOTHER OF THE MULTIPLICITY 
 
 OF HIS EMPLOYMENTS. 
 
 Hermes and Μαία. 
 
 Hermes. ( crying ). Why, mother, is any God in Heaven 
 more thoroughly wretched than I ? 
 
 Μαία. Pray, don’t talk in that way, my dear Hermes. 
 
 Hermes. Why should not I talk so, w'ho have such a 
 number of duties to attend to; toiling as I do all alone, 
 and distracted to so many services P For, as soon as I am 
 up at daybreak, I have to sweep out our banqueting-hall, 
 and after carefully arranging the couches, 1 and putting 
 each particular thing in order, I have to take my place 
 at the side of Zeus, and carry about in all directions the 
 messages I receive from him, running up and down the 
 
 1 Την κλισίαν. The reclining- couch, on which the guests took their 
 places at the triclinium. Hemsterhuis and the older editors read 
 ίκκλι,σιαν , the Council-Chamber.” 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 55 
 
 whole day like a courier. 1 And, as soon as I have returned 
 up here again, while still covered with dust, I must hand 
 him the ambrosia. Before, too, this lately-purchased cup¬ 
 bearer 2 arrived, it was my business to pour in the nectar, 
 also. But, what is most dreadful of all, is, that I alone of 
 all the Gods, get no sleep even at night: but I must needs, 
 also, be then conducting souls to Pluto, and acting as 
 marshal of dead men, 3 and dance attendance in his Court 
 of Justice. For my employments by day are not enough— 
 to take my place in the Palaestra, and even to act as herald 
 in the representative assemblies, and to train orators—but, 
 parcelled out as I am already, for all these services , I must, 
 also, take part in the affairs of the dead. And yet the sons 
 of Leda 4 5 take their places, each in turn , every other day in 
 Heaven and in Hades: but I must perforce, be about my 
 duties here and there. The sons of Alkmena and Semele, 0 
 too, born of wretched women, though they he, feast without 
 care; whereas I, the son of Maia, the daughter of Atlas, 
 wait upon them. And now, having but just come from 
 Sidon, from’the daughter of Kadmus, 6 to whom he has sent 
 me to see what the girl is about; and, before even I have 
 had time to get my breath, he packs me off again to Argos 
 to look after Danae. “ Then go from thence,” says he, 
 “into Boeotia, and have a look at Antiope by the way. 7 
 
 1 Ήμεροδρο μουντά. The ημεροδρομοί (“ day-runners ”) were an impor¬ 
 tant class of State employes in the Hellenic cities. Extraordinary feats 
 of speed and powers of endurance have been recorded of many of them. 
 Inyens die uno cursu emetiens spatium, is the observation of Livy (An. 
 xxxi. 24). 
 
 2 Ganymedes. Said to have been νεώνητον, because Zeus had com¬ 
 pounded with Tros, the Phrygian king, for the rape of his son, by a 
 present of horses. 
 
 3 Ψυχαγωγός and νεκροπομπός. One of the most important, if least 
 agreeable, of the multiform offices of the son of Maia. For the most 
 memorable occasion on which he filled this arduous post see Όδ. xxiv., 
 where he conducts to Hades the reluctant souls of the wicked suitors of 
 Penelope. Cf. 2En. iv. 242. Hor. Car. i. 10. Hermes figures especially 
 in this character in the Dialogues. See, particularly, Χάρων. 
 
 4 Kastor and Polydeukes. See Apollod. iii. 11. 
 
 5 Herakles and Bacchus. 
 
 6 It has been pointed out that Lucian has here made a slip. Europa 
 was the daughter of Agenor, and the sister of Kadmus. 
 
 7 One of the numerous mortal paramours of Zeus. See Apollod. iii. 5. 
 
56 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 In truth, I am quite done up, and give in. If I could, I 
 vow I would gladly claim my right to he sold like those 
 slaves on the earth who are vilely treated. 1 2 
 
 Μαία. Don’t mind these things, child; for you must, 
 perforce, he submissive to your father in everything, since 
 you are hut a youth. And now, as you have been de¬ 
 spatched, march off to Argos, then to Boeotia, that you may 
 not get a beating for your dilatoriness—for people in love 
 are apt to have short tempers. 
 
 XXV. 
 
 HELIOS, ACCUSED BT ZEUS OF HASH CONDUCT IN GIVING UP 
 
 HIS CHARIOT TO HIS SON, OBTAINS A CONDITIONAL PARDON. 
 
 Zeus and Helios.' 1 
 
 Zeus. What have you done, worst of Titans ? you have 
 ruined everything on the Earth by trusting that chariot 
 of yours to a foolish youth who has burned up the one half 
 of the world by being carried too near the Earth, and the 
 other half has caused to be utterly destroyed by cold, by 
 withdrawing heat too far from it; and, in fine, there is no¬ 
 thing whatever that he has not utterly thrown into dis¬ 
 turbance and confusion. Indeed, if I had not perceived 
 what had happened, and hurled him down with my thunder¬ 
 bolt, there would have remained not even a remnant of the 
 
 1 It was almost the only sort of interposition of Greek Law (at 
 Athens) that, upon proof of extraordinarily cruel treatment of a slave 
 by his owner, the victim of his brutality might claim the privilege to be 
 put up to auction. 
 
 2 Helios, in the earlier Greek Theology, was the son of Hyperion 
 and Theia (θεογ. 371-4). Later he was identified with Apollo. The 
 horses and chariot of the Sun are of later invention than the times of 
 the Homeric epics and of Hesiod, and first occur in the Homeric Hymn 
 to Helios. Some of the poets give him a golden boat, the work of 
 Hephsestos, in which he makes his diurnal voyage. Others represent 
 him as making his nightly journey in a golden bed. See l)ict. of 
 Mythology , etc. ed. by Wm. Smith. Cf. Ov. Metam. ii., where the Latin 
 poet devotes large space to the tremendous catastrophe, which he so 
 eloquently poetises, and the death of Lhaethon, for grief for whom his 
 august father hid his face ; and, “ si modo credimus, unum Isse diem 
 sine sole ferunt.” 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 57 
 
 human species. Such an excellent driver and charioteer 
 have you sent forth, in that fine son of yours . 
 
 Helios. I committed an error, Zeus; but don’t be hard 
 upon me, since I was prevailed upon by my son with his 
 frequent entreaties: for from whence could I have at 
 all expected that so tremendous a mischief could come 
 about ? 
 
 Zeus. Did you not know what extreme caution the 
 matter needed, and that if one swerved ever so little from 
 the road, everything was ruined ? Were you ignorant, too, 
 of the temper of the horses, and how absolutely necessary 
 it is to hold a tight rein P For, if one slackens it at all, 
 they immediately take the bit in their mouths ; just as, in 
 fact, they ran away with him, now to the left, and, after a 
 space, to the right, and sometimes in the opposite direction 
 to their course, and upwards and downwards, in fine, where 
 they themselves had a mind to go; while he did not know 
 how to treat them. 
 
 Helios. All this, indeed, I knew, and for that reason I 
 for a long time resisted, and would not trust the driving 
 to him: but, when he begged me over and over again with 
 tears, and his mother Klymene with him, after mounting 
 him on the chariot I cautioned him how he must stand 
 firmly, and how far he should allow his horses to go into 
 the higher regions, and be borne aloft; then how far he 
 must direct them downwards again, and how he must have 
 complete control of the reins, and not surrender them to 
 the fieriness of his steeds. And I told him, too, how great 
 was the peril, if he did not keep the straight road. Well, he 
 —mere boy that he was—taking his stand upon such a 
 tremendous fire-chariot, and peering down into the yawning 
 abyss, was seized with sudden terror, as was to be expected ; 
 while the horses, when they perceived that it was not I 
 who was mounted upon the vehicle, not heeding the youth¬ 
 ful driver, swerved from their proper route, and caused 
 this terrific calamity. Then he, letting go the reins from 
 sheer fright, I suppose, lest he should be thrown out him¬ 
 self, clung to the front rail 1 of the chariot—but he now 
 
 1 "A ντνζ was the curved rim of the front part of the Greek chariot, 
 which was always circular, or rather elliptical, in form. 
 
58 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 has received the reward of his rashness , and for me, Zeus, 
 the consequent grief ought to be enough punishment. 
 
 Zeus. Enough punishment, do you say, you who have 
 rashly risked all this ! However, I will grant your pardon 
 now, for this time: but, for the future, if you transgress 
 at all in a similar fashion, or despatch any similar substitute 
 for yourself, you shall at once know of how much more 
 fiery virtue is my thunderbolt than your fire. So now let 
 his sisters 1 bury him near the Eridanus, whereabouts he 
 fell, when he was pitched out, weeping amber over him; 
 and let them become poplars out of their grief for him : but 
 do you, for your part, put your chariot to pieces again— 
 both its pole is broken in two, and one of the wheels is 
 completely smashed—and yoking your horses drive on 
 once more. Well, keep in mind all these injunctions. 
 
 XXVI. 
 
 APOLLO ASKS HERMES TO POINT OUT TO HIM, OF THE TWIN 
 
 DIOSCURI WHICH IS KASTOR AND WHICH POLYDEUKES ; AND 
 
 TAKES THE OPPORTUNITY OF CRITICISING THEIR DIVINE 
 
 PRETENSIONS. 
 
 Apollo and Hermes. 
 
 Apollo. Can you tell me, Hermes, which of these is 
 Kastor, or which is Polydeukes ? Eor I could not distin¬ 
 guish between them. 
 
 Hermes (pointing them out). That is Kastor, who was 
 with us yesterday, and this is Polydeukes. 
 
 Apollo. How do you make your distinction ? For they 
 are as like as two peas. 
 
 1 Of the Heliadce or Heliadcs , Phoebe, Phaethusa, and Lampetie, 
 whose tears were converted into amber by divine interposition, Ovid has 
 commemorated, in particular, the two last ( Metam. ii. 3). The Eridanus 
 was the poetic name assigned to various rivers by the earl} r poets, but 
 was, later, identified with the Padus (Pado). ^Eschylus, in his lost 
 Heliadcs , applied it to the Rhodanus. As for the chariot of the Sun, 
 S. Chrysostom (who, in common with most of the Christian Eathers, 
 and indeed, with much later authorities, found the origin and counter¬ 
 part of Greek theological myths in the Jewish Scriptures) is persuaded 
 that it is derived from a distorted version of the fire-chariot of Elias. 
 
DIALOGUES OP THE GODS. 
 
 59 
 
 Hermes. Thus —because this one, Apollo, lias upon his 
 face the traces of the wounds which he received from his 
 antagonists when boxing, and especially the wounds which 
 were inflicted on him by the Bebrycian Amykus, 1 when on 
 the voyage with Jason; while the other shows nothing of 
 the kind, but is untouched and unwounded in his face. 
 
 Apollo. You have conferred an obligation upon me by 
 indicating the distinguishing marks, since in regard to 
 other parts, all are exactly alike—the half segment of an 
 egg and star above, on their heads, a javelin in the hand, 
 and each mounted on a white horse, 2 —so that I frequently 
 addressed Polydeukes as Kastor, and the latter by the 
 name of Polydeukes. But tell me this, too, why in the 
 world do they not both live with us, but by halves either 
 of them at one moment is a dead man, and at another a 
 divinity ? 
 
 Hermes. They act so out of brotherly affection. For, since 
 one of the sons of Leda must have died, and the other 
 have been immortal alone , they of their own accord 
 divided for themselves immortality between them in this 
 way. 
 
 Ayollo. A not altogether wise division, Hermes, since 
 by this arrangement they will not even see each other ; 
 what, I suppose, they especially desired. For how can 
 they , when one is with the gods, and the other with the 
 dead ? But, however, just as I deal in prophecy, and as 
 Asklepius deals in medicine, and you, excellent trainer that 
 you are, give instruction in the art of wrestling, and as 
 Artemis acts the midwife, and each one of the rest of us 
 
 1 For this terrific pugilistic encounter, see Theok. Etch xx. Διόσ¬ 
 κουροι. ; Apollonius, Άργοναΰτ. 
 
 2 In Greek and Latin Art, the Dioscuri (“ the sons of Zeus ” κατ’ 
 Ιξόχην) are represented with egg-shaped hat or helmet, stars standing 
 on the fore part of the head, and holding spears or javelins, and mounted 
 on white horses, and as duplicates one of the other. In the Homeric 
 epic they are of human birth, on both sides, and the brothers of Helene. 
 Later authorities assign them various origins. Kastor, the equestrian, 
 was mortal, Polydeukes, the patron of pugilists, immortal. With the 
 Homans, the “ fratres Helense—lucida sidera,” were always in high 
 honour and esteem, as their saviours and patrons in battle. The twin- 
 divinities especially claimed the devotion of sailors. Cf. Apollod. iii. 11. 
 Pausanias, Livy, Hor. Car. i. 12. Ov. Metam. viii. 373, Lucian, N eicp. 
 
60 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE GODS. 
 
 exercises some profession useful either to Gods or to men— 
 what, then, will these good 'people do for us P Will they, 
 such strapping youths as they are, enjoy the banquet, 
 without working ? 
 
 Hermes. By no means, but they have assigned to them 
 to act as deputies for Poseidon, and they must ride over 
 the sea, and, if they anywhere perceive sailors overtaken 
 by a storm, perch themselves on the ship and protect the 
 voyagers. 
 
 Apollo. A good and salutary profession, Hermes. 
 
 I 
 
 ! 
 
 y 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE SEA-GODS. 
 
 « 
 
 I. 
 
 DOEIS KIDICULES THE FIGURE AND MANNERS OF POLYPHEMUS,, 
 
 THE LOYER OF GALATEIA. 
 
 Doris and Galateia d 
 
 Doris. A handsome lover, my dear Galateia, that Sicilian 
 shepherd they say is so madly in love with you ! 
 
 Galateia. Don’t sneer, Doris, for he is Poseidon’s son,, 
 whatever he may be like. 
 
 Doris. What then? If he were even the son of Zeus 
 himself, and showed so savage and uncouth a figure ; and, 
 most unsightly of all his uglinesses, possessed only one 
 eye, do you imagine his birth would at all avail him, in 
 comparison with his shape ? 
 
 Galateia. Not even his uncouthness and his savageness, 
 (as you call it) is without its charm—for it gives him a 
 manly air ; and his eye becomes his forehead, and sees not 
 less than if there were two. 
 
 Doris. You seem, Galateia, to consider your Polyphemus 
 not as the courting, but as the courted, one, such are your 
 praises of him. 
 
 Galateia. Courted, no, but I cannot endure that excessive 
 proclivity of yours to finding fault, and you others seem to 
 me to do it from envy; because, when, some time ago, he 
 was tending his flocks, and had a glimpse of us from his 
 cliff, as we were sporting upon the shore, at the foot of 
 ZEtna, where it extends between the mountain and the sea, 
 he did not even look at you others, whereas I appeared to 
 
 1 Cf. Theok. E IS. xi. (where the Cyclops charges the Sea-Nymph with 
 cruelty and vaunts his merits), and vi.; Kallim. Έττ. xlix. Ov. Metam. 
 xiii. 7. Virgil, Ec. vii. 37, ix. 39, and see Όδ. ix. One of the Εικόνες of , 
 Philostratus is founded on this subject. 
 
62 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE SEA-GODS. 
 
 him as the most beautiful of all of us, and so be kept his eye 
 upon me alone. It is this that vexes you, for it is a proof 
 that I am superior, and deserving to be loved; while you 
 other Nymphs have been neglected. 
 
 Boris. If you appear beautiful to the eyes of a keeper of 
 sheep and to a fellow who wants an eye, do you suppose you 
 t are an object of envy? and, besides, what else had he to 
 commend in you than your white skin ? and that, I suppose, 
 because he is accustomed to cheese and milk : everything, 
 therefore, resembling those things he considers beautiful. 1 
 For as to other charms, whenever you wish to discover 
 what you are really like, stoop from some rock, when the 
 sea is calm, over the water, and behold yourself to be 
 nothing else than an exceedingly white skin ; and that is 
 not commended unless, too, there is colour to set it off. 
 
 Galateia. Yet I, so purely white as I am, nevertheless 
 have a lover, though it’s only he; whereas there is not 
 one of you whom either shepherd, or sailor, or boatman 
 praises. And my Polyphemus, among other merits, is also 
 musical. 
 
 Boris. Hold your tongue, Galateia ; we heard his singing, 
 when but now he came serenading to you. So may 
 Aphrodite be 2 my friend, one would have imagined an ass 
 w r as braying. And his very lyre—what a thing it was ! 
 The bare skull of a stag, and the horns served as the 
 handles, 3 and he bridged them, and fitted in the strings, 
 without even twisting them round a peg, and then began 
 to perform some horribly unmusical and unmelodious 
 melody; himself roaring out one thing, and his lyre accom¬ 
 panying him to something else, so that we could not even 
 restrain our laughter at that fine love ditty. Why, Echo 
 would not even return any reply to his bellowing, loquacious 
 
 1 Polyphemus, in such preference, is not without high authority. 
 With the poets, indeed, extreme whiteness has been one of the principal 
 characteristics of feminine beauty. Spenser’s Una is even “ whiter than 
 snow.” As for Galateia, she has her name from her complexion. Ex 
 
 re nomen habet. 
 
 2 A suggested alternative reading is “ Amphitrite. ” Lehmann de¬ 
 fends the received text on the ground that the Nymphs are discoursing 
 of love matters. But, it will be observed, Doris disclaims the power of 
 the Goddess of Love. 
 
 3 See θ. Δ. vii. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE SEA-GODS. 
 
 63 
 
 as she is; but was ashamed to appear to imitate his un¬ 
 couth, ridiculous music. And, then, the amiable creature 
 was carrying in his arms, for a plaything·, a bear’s cub, 
 resembling himself in shagginess. Who, pray, would not 
 envy you, my Gralateia, such a r lover ? 
 
 Galateia. Do you then, my dear Doris, show us your own 
 adorer , who is, doubtless, handsomer, and more of a 
 musician, and better skilled in performing on the cithara. 
 
 Doris. Nay, I have no adorer, nor do I pride myself on 
 being admired. But as for your Cyclops, such as he is, 
 with the rank odour of a he-goat—a cannibal, as they say, 
 and who feeds upon strangers who come to his country— 
 may he be yours and welcome, and may you fully return 
 his affection ! 
 
 II. 
 
 POLYPHEMUS COMPLAINS TO POSEIDON, HIS FATHER, OF HIS 
 TREATMENT AT THE HANDS OF ODYSSEUS. 1 
 
 Cyclops and Poseidon. 
 
 Cyclops (blubbering). O father, what have I endured at 
 the hands of the cursed stranger, who made me drunk and 
 put out my eye, assaulting me when I was lulled to sleep. 
 
 Poseidon. Who dared to do this, my poor Polyphemus P 
 
 Cyclops. In the first instance, he called himself Outis; 2 
 but, when he had got clear away, and was out of reach of 
 my arrow, he said that his name was Odysseus. 
 
 Poseidon. I know whom you speak of—him of Ithaka, 
 and he was on his return-voyage from Ilium. But how 
 did he do it, for he is, by no means, a man of too much 
 courage ? 
 
 Cyclops. Returning from my accustomed tending of my 
 flocks, I caught a number of fellows in my cave, evidently 
 having designs on my herds : for, when I placed the stone 
 block against the door—the rock is of huge size—and had 
 lighted the fire by igniting the tree which I brought from 
 
 1 Cf.O5.ix.; Ov. Metam. xiii. 7; xiv. 4 ; Euripides, Ινήκλωψ ; JSn. 
 iii. 613—683. 
 
 2 “ Nobody.” Some of the Homeric commentators ingeniously have 
 accounted for the name by attributing to the hero of many wiles re¬ 
 markably large ears (Ο νς-ώτος). 
 
64 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE SEA-GODS. 
 
 the mountain, evidently they appeared to be trying to conceal 
 themselves. Well, when I had got hold of some of them, 
 I devoured them for a pack of thieves, as was reasonable. 
 Hereupon that most villainous rascal, whether he was Outis 
 or Odysseus, pours out a sort of drug and gives me to 
 drink—sweet, indeed, and of delicious smell, but most 
 insidious, and which caused great disorder in my head: 
 for immediately upon my drinking everything seemed to 
 me to be in a whirl, and the cave itself w r as turned upside 
 down, and I was no longer at all in my senses ; and, at last, 
 I was dragged down into sleep. Then sharpening the bar, 
 and igniting it besides, he blinded me as I slept, and from 
 that time, I am a blind man, at your service, Poseidon. 
 
 Poseidon. How soundly you slept, my son, that you did 
 not jump up while you were being blinded ! But as for 
 this Odysseus, then, how did he escape P For he could not 
 —I am well assured that he could not—move away the 
 rock from the door. 
 
 Cyclops. Yes, but it was I who removed it, that I might 
 the better catch him as he was going out; and, sitting 
 down close to the door, I groped for him with extended 
 hands, letting only my sheep pass out to pasture, after 
 having given instructions to the ram what he was to do in 
 my place. 
 
 Poseidon. I understand, they slipped away under them 
 unnoticed. But you ought to have shouted, and called the 
 rest of the Cyclopes to your aid against him. 
 
 Cyclops. I did summon them, father, and they came. 
 But when they asked the sneaking rascal’s name, and I 
 said it was Outis, thinking I was in a mad fit, they took 
 themselves off at once. Thus the cursed fellow tricked me 
 with his name; and what especially vexes me is, that 
 actually throwing my misfortune in my teeth, “ Hot even,” 
 says he, “ will your father Poseidon cure you.” 1 
 
 1 See OS. ix. 525, and the anguished cry for vengeance of the 
 Cyclops in Ov. Met. xiv. 192-197 :— 
 
 “ O si quis referat mihi casus Ulyssen, 
 
 ****** 
 
 Quam nullum aut leve sit damnum mihi lucis ademptaj.” 
 
 Cf. Macrobius, Sat. v. 13. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE SEA-GODS. 
 
 65 
 
 Poseidon. Never mind, my child, for I will revenge 
 myself upon him, that he may learn that, even if it is not 
 possible for me to heal the mutilation of people’s eyes, at 
 all events the fate of voyagers is in my hands. And he is 
 still at sea. 
 
 III. 
 
 POSEIDON QUESTIONS ALPHEIUS, A RIVER-GOD, RESPECTING HIS 
 AMOUR WITH THE NYMPH ARETHUSA. 
 
 Poseidon and Alpheius. 1 
 
 Poseidon. What’s this, Alpheius ? Of all rivers you are 
 the only one that falls into the sea without mingling with 
 the salt water, as is the custom of other streams, nor do 
 you rest from pouring yourself along ; but, in your passage 
 through the sea, contracting and keeping sweet your 
 waters, still unmixed and pure, you hasten I know not 
 where, diving into the depths, like the sea-gulls and 
 herons ; and yet you seem to be ready to pop up some¬ 
 where or other, and again discover yourself. 
 
 Alpheius. Something of a love-affair, Poseidon, so don’t 
 scold. Even you yourself often have been in love. 
 
 Poseidon. Is it a woman or a Nymph, or, indeed, one of 
 the Nereids themselves you are in love with P 
 
 Alpheius. No, but with a Fountain, Poseidon. 
 
 Poseidon. And she—where in the world does she flow ? 
 
 Alpheius. She is a Sicilian islander. They call her 
 Arethusa. 
 
 Poseidon. I am aware, Alpheius, she is no ugly creature— 
 this Arethusa. On the contrary, she is beautifully clear 
 and transparent, and gushes out in a pure stream, and the 
 
 1 The Alpheius, the modern Rufia, rising in the mountains of Arcadia, 
 disappears after a short course and, again appearing, unites with the 
 Eurotas. The two rivers, some two miles from their conjunction, sink 
 below the earth, to reappear in Arcadia. The mysterious river empties 
 itself into the Ionian Sea, not far from Olympia, in Elis. According to 
 the myth, the nymph Arethusa, one of the Nereids beloved by the 
 river-god, was pursued by him until she was transformed by Artemis 
 into the Sicilian fountain. Alpheius, however, still vainly pursues her. 
 See Ovid’s beautiful description, Met. v. 572-641. 
 
 F 
 
66 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE SEA-GODS. 
 
 water gives beauty to the pebbles, showing all silver above 
 them. 
 
 Alpheius. How accurately well you know the Fountain, 
 Poseidon ! I am now oh to her side. 
 
 Poseidon. Well, away then, and good luck to you in your 
 wooing. But tell me this, where did you have a sight of 
 your Arethusa, seeing that you yourself are Arcadian, and 
 she is at Syracuse ? 
 
 Alpheius. You are detaining me, in haste as I am, with 
 your superfluous questions. 
 
 Poseidon. You are right. Away to your beloved, and 
 emerging from the sea, mingle harmoniously with your 
 Fountain, and become one water. 
 
 IY. 
 
 MENELAUS EXPRESSES TO PROTEUS HIS INCREDULITY IN REGARD 
 
 TO THE ALLEGED MIRACULOUS TRANSFORMATIONS OF THAT 
 
 DIVINITY. 
 
 Menelaus and Proteus. 1 
 
 Menelaus. Well, that you become water, Proteus, is not 
 incredible, seeing you belong to the sea ; and that you 
 become a tree, too, may pass—nay, when you get changed 
 into a lion, yet even that is not beyond my powers of 
 belief. But whether it is possible for you to become fire 
 while living in the sea—that I very much wonder at and 
 doubt. 
 
 Proteus. Don’t wonder, my dear Sir, for I do become 
 such. 
 
 Menelaus. I, indeed, saw it with my own eyes. But 
 you appear to me—for I must confess it to you—to apply 
 some kind of jugglery to the business, and to deceive the 
 eyes of the spectators, while yourself become nothing of 
 the sort. 
 
 1 Cf. Όί. iv. 450. Ov. Metam. viii. 730-737. Virg. Georg, iv. 418-452. 
 Diodorus, Βίβ. 'I στ. 1. In the Odyssey the meeting of Menelaus and 
 Proteus, and the prophecies of the sea-divinity, are related at length. 
 He figures on two important occasions—as the guardian of Helen, and 
 in the annunciation of the birth of Apollonius of Tyana. The dialogue 
 may be supposed to take place in the island of Pharos. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE SEA-GODS. 
 
 67 
 
 Proteus. And what deception could there be in a case so 
 clear P Did you not with open eyes see into what I 
 transfigured myself ? 1 And if you doubt, and the thing 
 seem to you to be unreal, a sort of phantasmagoria placed 
 before your eyes, when I become fire, give me your hand, 
 my excellent Sir : for you shall know whether I am a 
 mere spectral illusion, or whether, in fact, the property of 
 burning then belongs to me. 
 
 Menelaus. The experiment is scarcely a safe one, Sir 
 Proteus. 
 
 Proteus. But you seem to me never to have seen the 
 polypus even, or to know w T hat are the peculiarities of 
 that creature of the sea·.' 2 
 
 Menelaus. Yes, I have seen the polypus ; but what are 
 its peculiarities I should be glad to learn from you. 
 
 Proteus. Whatever rock it approaches and fastens its 
 suckers on, and hangs clingingto in coils, to that it assimilates 
 itself ; and it changes its colour in mimicry of the rock, so 
 that it may escape the notice of the fishermen, being thus 
 not at all different, or conspicuous, but closely resembling 
 the stone. 
 
 Menelaus. So they say. But your case is far more 
 strange, my friend Proteus. 
 
 Proteus. I don’t know, Menelaus, whom else you would 
 believe, if you don’t believe your own eyes. 
 
 Menelaus. Since I saw it, I saw it, it is true ; but the 
 thing is miraculous—the same person to become both fire 
 and water! 
 
 1 The poet of the Odyssey represents the “ old man of the sea ” as 
 assuming, successively, the forms of a “ lion,” a t( dragon ” or “ serpent,” 
 a “ leopard,” a “ boar,” “ water,” and a “ tree.” Ovid adds “ fire.” 
 
 2 For the natural history of the polypus, or octopus, in Greek 
 science, and for the large space it occupied in Greek gastronomy , the 
 reader is ref erred to Athenseus, Deipnosophists (Bohn’s Series), where the 
 Comic poets, as usual, are largely drawn upon. Cf. Aristotle, Z. /., 
 Pliny, Hist. Nat. ix. 29. Plutarch (Περί τής Σαρκοφαγίας ) represents 
 Diogenes the Cynic as swallowing one of these creatures uncooked. 
 
68 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE SEA-GODS. 
 
 v. 
 
 PANOPE RELATES TO GALENE THE SCENE OF THE INTRODUCTION 
 OF THE GOLDEN APPLE BY ERIS INTO THE NUPTIAL FEAST OF 
 PELEUS AND THETIS, THE DISCORD BETWEEN THE THREE 
 RIVAL GODDESSES, AND THEIR DISMISSAL TO MOUNT IDA 
 FOR JUDGMENT. 
 
 Panojpe and Galene. 
 
 Panope. Did you see, Galene, yesterday, what Eris did 
 at the banquet in Thessaly, because she was not, also, 
 invited to the feast ? 
 
 Galene. I was not at the banquet with you, for Poseidon 
 ordered me, Panope, to keep the sea unagitated mean¬ 
 while ; but what, then, did Eris, for not being present as a 
 
 guest ? 
 
 Panope. Thetis and Peleus had already gone off to their 
 bridal chamber, escorted by Amphitrite and Poseidon. 
 But Eris, meanwhile, unobserved by any—and she could 
 easily be so, while some were drinking, others making a 
 clatter, or giving all their attention to Apollo playing on 
 the cithara, or to the Muses as they sang—threw into the 
 midst of the banqueting-hall a certain very beautiful 
 apple, all of gold, 1 Galene. And it was inscribed : “ Let 
 the beautiful one have me.” And rolling along, as though 
 intentionally, it came where Hera and Aphrodite and 
 Athena were reclining; and when Hermes, taking it up, 
 read out the inscription, we Nereids held our tongues, 
 for what were we to do, in the presence of those Goddesses ? 
 Then they began to put forward each one her pretensions, 
 and each claimed the apple to be her own. And had not 
 Zeus separated them, the affair would have ended even in 
 blows. But, says he, “ I will not myself judge in the 
 matter [although they earnestly called upon him to do 
 so] ; but go away with you to Ida to the presence of the 
 youth Paris, who, as he is a connoisseur in female charms, 
 knows how to distinguish the superior beauty, and he 
 would not give wrong judgment.” 
 
 1 See θ. Δ. xx. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE SEA-GODS. 
 
 69 
 
 Galene. What, pray, did the Goddesses do, Panope ? 
 
 Panope. This very day, I believe, they are off to Ida, and 
 somebody will come shortly to announce to us the winner. 
 
 Galene. As I stand here now, I tell you, no other will be 
 victorious, with Aphrodite for competitor, unless the 
 umpire be altogether dull-eyed. 1 
 
 YI. 
 
 THE RAPE OF AMYMONE BY POSEIDON. 
 
 Triton , Amymone , and Poseidon. 
 
 Triton. Every day, Poseidon, there comes a virgin to 
 Lerna 2 to draw water—a very beautiful sort of creature. 
 I don’t know, for my part, that I have seen a more beauti¬ 
 ful girl. 
 
 Poseidon. Some lady, do you mean, Triton, or is the girl 
 of the pitcher some maid-servant ? 
 
 Triton. Ho, indeed—but a daughter of that celebrated 
 Danaus, herself one of the Fifty, Amymone by name : for 
 I inquired what her name is, and her family. How, Danaus 
 brings up his daughters hardily, and teaches them to work 
 for themselves, and both sends them to draw water 3 and 
 educates them, in other respects, not to be idle. 
 
 1 One of the most interesting of Roman paintings that have come 
 down to us has for subject this fatal marriage of Peleus and Thetis— 
 the Noce Aldobrandine. It was found at Rome, in the seventeenth 
 century, on the site of the gardens of Maecenas. It consists of ten 
 figures, that of Thetis carrying away the palm of excellence. See 
 Becueil des Feintures Antiques Trouvdes a Rome. Par Pietro Bartoli, 
 Paris, 1783. Cf. the Peleus and Thetis of Catullus. 
 
 2 A place near Argos, famous as the haunt of the monster killed by 
 Herakles. Amymone was one of the fifty daughters of Danaus, the 
 issue of his various wives, whose names are recorded, together with 
 those of their doomed husbands, by Apollodorus, ii. 1, 5. Cf. Philost. 
 Ε'ίκο^ες ; Pausanias, ii.. 37 ; Strabo, viii.; Pliny, Hist. Nat. iv. 5. The 
 Danaides, it may be observed, have received their highest immortalisa¬ 
 tion from ACschylus in his 'Ικεηίες. For a description of a Triton, see 
 Apollonius, Άργ. iv. 1588-1612. 
 
 3 Le Clerc here observes that, in the most ancient times, it was a 
 
 common custom for girls of high birth to be sent to draw water, and 
 quotes the authorities of Homer and Genesis xxiv. 13-15. “ So that,” 
 
 remarks Lehmann, “ Le Clerc knows more about antiquity than Lucian 
 himself.” 
 
70 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE SEA-GODS. 
 
 Poseidon. But does she travel all alone so long a journey 
 from Argos to Lerna ? 
 
 Triton. All alone. Argos is “ very thirsty ,” 1 as you 
 know : so it is necessary to be always fetching water. 
 
 Poseiden. My dear Triton, in no small degree have you 
 agitated me by your account of the girl. So let us start 
 at once for her. 
 
 Triton. Let us be off. Just now, in fact, is the time for 
 fetching the water, and she is pretty nearly in the middle 
 of her journey, on her way to Lerna. 
 
 Poseidon . Harness the chariot, then : or, stay , that in¬ 
 volves much loss of time, to harness the horses and to get 
 the equipage ready. Do you bring me rather one of your 
 swiftest dolphins; for I shall mount and ride it in the 
 quickest possible time. 
 
 Triton. See, here you have the fleetest of dolphins. 
 
 Poseidon. Bravely done ! Let us drive away, and do you 
 swim by my side, Triton.—And now we are arrived at 
 Lerna, I will lie in ambush somewhere here, and do you 
 keep a look out. As soon as ever you perceive her ap¬ 
 proach— 
 
 Triton (looking out from his hiding-place). She is close 
 by you. 
 
 Poseidon. A lovely and blooming girl, Triton. But we 
 have to capture her (seizes her). 
 
 Amymone. Fellow, why have you thus forciby seized me, 
 and where are you taking me P You are a kidnapper , 2 and 
 I suppose you have been commissioned by my uncle, 
 HCgyptus : 3 so I will call out to my father for help 
 (screaming). 
 
 Triton. Hush ! this moment, Amymone. It is Poseidon. 
 
 Amymone. Why do you talk to me of Poseidon ? Why 
 do you offer me this violence, fellow, and drag me down thus 
 
 1 Πολυ^ί'ψιον, the Homeric epithet for the capital of Diomedes, ΊΧ. iv. 
 171. Athenaeus and Strabo interpret it as πολυπόθητον, “much 
 thirsted for” (by the absent Greeks). 
 
 2 Άνδραπυδιστής. For the extent and success of this sort of recog¬ 
 nised piracy, or trade, among the Greeks, see the Comedies of Plautus 
 and of Terence, and the romances of Heliodorus and other Greek 
 romancists. 
 
 3 Whose fifty sons came to Argos in search of their reluctant brides. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE SEA-GODS. 
 
 71 
 
 into the sea ? I shall sink and be drowned, miserable- 
 fated being that I am ! 
 
 Poseidon. Have no fear. You shall suffer nothing ter¬ 
 rible. On the contrary, I will strike the rock hard by this 
 sea-beach with my trident, and will cause a fountain to 
 spring up here to be called after your name; and you shall 
 be happy, and be the only one of your sisters who, after 
 death, shall not have to draw water . 1 
 
 VII. 
 
 ZEPHYRUS RECOUNTS TO NOTUS THE METAMORPHOSIS AND 
 
 ADVENTURES OF IO . 2 
 
 Notus and Zephyrus. 
 
 Notus. This heifer, Zephyrus, whom Hermes is conduct¬ 
 ing into Egypt, through the sea, has Zeus, overcome by 
 passion, actually debauched her P 
 
 Zephyrus. Yes, Notus. But she was then not a heifer, 
 but a daughter of the River Inachus. Now, however, 
 Hera, out of jealousy, has made her such, because she per¬ 
 ceived Zeus to be very much in love. 
 
 Notus. Is he, then, now still in love with the cow ? 
 
 Zephyrus. Yery much indeed, and for this reason he 
 sends her to Egypt, and has given us orders not to agitate 
 the sea until she shall have swum across, so that, after 
 having given birth to her child there—and she is already 
 enceinte —she may become a divinity, herself and her off¬ 
 spring. 
 
 Notus. The heifer a divinity ! 
 
 1 As is well known, the punishment of the Danaides, for their 
 slaughter of their husbands on one and the same bridal night, at the 
 command of their father, was to pour water incessantly into sieves, or 
 rather, bottomless pitchers. Besides Amymone, however, Hypermnmstra 
 must have escaped this infernal torture, since —splendide mendcix — 
 in return for his abdication of marital rights, she had spared her hus¬ 
 band’s life. According to some accounts, these devotees of Artemis 
 were purified from the crime of murder by Athena and Hermes at the 
 command of Zeus. 
 
 2 See θ. Δ. iii. Cf. Palaepliatus, who gives a more prosaic account 
 than the mythologists. 
 
72 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE SEA-GODS. 
 
 Zephyrus. Undoubtedly, my dear Notus, and she will 
 preside as patroness, as Hermes said, of sailors, and will be 
 our mistress, to send out, or prevent from blowing, whom¬ 
 soever of us she chooses to. 
 
 Notus. Since, then, she is now our mistress, Zephyrus, 
 we must cultivate her good graces. 
 
 Zephyrus. Yes, indeed, for so she will be the more benevo¬ 
 lently inclined towards us. Well, let us do so now , for she 
 has already made her passage, and is now escaped safely to 
 land; and you see how she now no longer walks on four 
 feet, and Hermes has set her erect, and has made a very 
 beautiful woman of her again. 
 
 Notus. Strange things these, truly, Zephyrus—horns no 
 longer, nor tail, and cloven feet, but a lovely girl! 
 Hermes, however—what has come to him, that he has 
 metamorphosed himself, and, in place of a young man, has 
 become a dog-faced creature P 1 
 
 Zephyrus. Let us not inquire too curiously, since he 
 knows best what he ought to do. 
 
 VIII. 
 
 at poseidon’s request, the dolphins narrate to him the 
 
 STORY OF ARlON’s ESCAPE. 
 
 Poseidon and Delphines . 2 
 
 Poseidon. Well done, dolphins ! for you are ever philan¬ 
 thropic. Before now you took under your protection 
 Ino’s brat, and carried him off to the Isthmus, when it fell 
 with its mother from the Skironian rocks ; 3 and now you 
 
 1 Known as Anubis in the Egyptian theology : Anubis latrator, is 
 the epithet applied by Virgil {Mn. viii. 698). Cf. Juvenal, Sat. vi. 534, 
 xv. 8 ; Diod. i. 18. 
 
 2 See Herod, i. 24 ; Lucian, ΆΧ. 'I στ. ii. 205 ; Ov. Fasti , ii. 83-118; 
 Pliny, Hist. Nat. ix. 8 ; ^Elian, Hist. Nat.xi. 15; Pliny the Younger, Ep. 
 ix. 33 ; Oppian, 'NX. ; Pausanias, ix. 30. Pliny the Naturalist narrates 
 the marvellous tales of dolphin-philanthropy with entire faith ; his 
 nephew, in his Letters (see Bohn’s Series), with some scepticism. Philo- 
 stratus, like Herodotus, some ages before him, alleges the brazen statue 
 of Arion at Taenarum, as conclusive proof of the reality of the miracle. 
 
 3 See Ov. Metam. iv. 524-571 ; Fasti, vi. 485-504; Apollod. iii. 4. 
 These rocks are off the E. coast of Megaris (in the Gulf of JEgina). 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE SEA-GODS. 
 
 73 
 
 have taken np on your bach this harper from Methymna 1 
 and swum to Taenarum, with his luggage and harp and all, 
 nor have you allowed him to meet with a miserable death 
 at the hands of the sailors. 
 
 Dolphins. Don’t be surprised, Poseidon, if we do kind¬ 
 nesses to human animals, since we ourselves were men 
 before we were fish . 2 
 
 Poseidon. I certainly blame Bacchus for having meta¬ 
 morphosed you after his defeat of you in that naval 
 battle, whereas he ought only to have reduced you to sub¬ 
 jection, just as he subjected the rest. But how, pray, did 
 this Arion business come about, my dear Dolphin P 
 
 Dolphin. Periander, I believe, was pleased with him, and 
 would often send for him on account of his skill, and when 
 he had got rich by the prince’s patronage , he eagerly 
 longed to make the voyage home to Methymna, to display 
 his wealth. Accordingly, having embarked on board a 
 certain passenger ship, belonging to a set of villains (as he 
 had showed them the quantity of gold and silver he was 
 taking with him), when they were in the middle of the 
 MCgean, the sailors conspire against him. “ Then,” said he 
 —for, swimming by the side of the vessel, I heard every¬ 
 thing—“ since you have determined upon this crime , at all 
 events suffer me of my own accord to throw myself over¬ 
 board, after having assumed my proper dress, and sung a 
 dirge over myself.” The sailors gave him leave, and he 
 assumed his musician’s dress, and sang very sweetly, and 
 fell into the sea, as though he was certainly to die that 
 moment. But I, intercepting him and placing him on 
 my back, swam off with him to Taenarum. 
 
 Poseidon. I commend you for your love of music ; a 
 worthy remuneration, indeed, for your privilege of hearing 
 him have you paid him. 
 
 1 Arion, Methymna was a principal city of the island of Lesbos. 
 Trenanim, now C. Matapan. 
 
 2 "Ιχθύς. The Greek term, like the English “ fish,” unscientifically 
 includes marine mammalia. 
 
74 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE SEA-GODS. 
 
 IX. 
 
 POSEIDON AND AMPHITRITE DISPUTE AS TO THE FITTING PLACE 
 
 OF BURIAL FOR HELLE, DROWNED IN THE HELLESPONT. 
 
 POSEIDON DIRECTS THE NEREIDS TO TAKE UP HER BODY, AND 
 
 BURY IT IN THE TROAD. 
 
 Poseidon , Amphitrite , and Nereids. 
 
 Poseidon. This strait, where the girl was carried away by 
 the tide, let it be called Hellespontus 1 after her; and do 
 yon Nereids take up the corpse, and bear it to the Troad, 
 that it may be buried by the people of the country. 
 
 Amphitrite. Not so, Poseidon, but let it be buried here in 
 the sea to which she has given her name ; for we compas¬ 
 sionate her for her most pitiable sufferings at the hands of 
 her stepmother . 2 
 
 Poseidon. That, Amphitrite, is not lawful; nor, besides, is 
 it becoming that she lie under the sand hereabouts. But, as 
 I said, she shall forthwith be buried in the Troad, or in the 
 Chersonese, and this will be no small comfort for her—that 
 Ino, too, shall shortly suffer the same fate, and, pursued by 
 Athamas, shall fall into the sea from the promontory of 
 Ivithaeron, where it stretches itself into the waves, with her 
 son, also in her arms. 
 
 Amphitrite. But we shall have to gratify Bacchus, and 
 save her, too ; for Ino was his nurse and suckled him. 
 
 Poseidon. No, we ought not to save her , since she is so 
 wicked: it is not proper, however, to disoblige Bacchus, 
 Amphitrite. 
 
 Nereids. But she—pray, what possessed her to fall off 
 the ram, while her brother, Phrixus, rides safely? 
 
 Poseidon. It happened as might be expected, for he is a 
 young man and able to hold on against the rapid motion. 
 But she, by reason of her inexperience, upon mounting the 
 
 1 See Apollod. i. 9 ; Hyg. Fab. 2 ; Pausanias, i. 44. Cf. Palmphatus. 
 Helle was the daughter of Athamas and Nephele. 
 
 2 Ino, daughter of Kadmus and Harmoneia. Fleeing from their 
 stepmother’s cruel treatment of them, on the golden-fleeced ram the 
 brother and sister, Phrixus and Helle, escaped through the air. Helle, 
 as is well known, in her fright fell into the narrow strait which bears 
 her name. Her brother arrived in the land of Ivolchis, where, as we 
 are assured, he ungratefully sacrificed his saviour to the Gods. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE SEA-GODS. 
 
 75 
 
 strange vehicle, and gazing into the yawning depths, was 
 stupefied, and, at the same time, overcome by terror; and, 
 becoming giddy from the excessive rapidity of the flight, 
 lost her hold of the ram’s horns, to which, until then, she 
 had clung, and fell into the sea. 
 
 Nereids. Pray should not her mother, Hephele, have 
 come to the aid of the falling girl p 
 
 Poseidon. She ought to have done so. But Fate is much 
 more powerful than Hephele. 
 
 X. 
 
 IRIS CONVEYS TO POSEIDON THE COMMANDS OF ZEUS THAT HE 
 
 SHOULD KEEP THE ISLAND OF DELOS STATIONARY, WHERE LETO 
 
 WAS TO LIE IN. 
 
 Iris and Poseidon. 
 
 Iris. That wandering island, Poseidon, detached from 
 Sicily , 1 whose fate it is still to be swimming about sub¬ 
 merged, “ that same,” says Zeus, “ you are now immediately 
 to bring to a standstill, and bear it up to daylight, and cause 
 it at once to remain firmly grounded, a conspicuous 2 object 
 in the middle of the Hlgean, fixing it quite securely: for 
 there will be some need of it.” 
 
 Poseidon. It shall be done this moment, Iris. What con¬ 
 venience, however, will it afford him, when it has been 
 brought up to the surface, and no longer sails about ? 
 
 Iris. Leto is to lie in on it; for at this very moment she 
 is ill with the pangs of labour. 
 
 Poseidon. What, then ? Is not Heaven a fitting place for 
 her to produce her children in ? And if that locality is not, 
 at all events, could not the whole Earth give shelter to her 
 offspring ? 
 
 Iris. Ho, Poseidon, for Hera bound the Earth with a 
 great oath not to afford a receptacle for Leto in her labour. 
 This island, however, is not pledged, for it was invisible. 
 
 1 As Hemsterhuis observes, as far as relative geographical position is 
 concerned, it is as likely that Delos was originally part of Cilicia as 
 of Sicily. See Kallim. 'Ύμν. h τι Αη\. v. 30. 
 
 2 Αήλον. Lucian seems to be making a pun. Some of the old ety¬ 
 mologists refer the name of the island to this adjective. 
 
76 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE SEA-GODS. 
 
 Poseidon. I perceive. Stand still, Island, and rise again 
 from the deep, and no longer be borne along under the 
 waves, but remain firm and motionless, and receive and 
 harbour, 0 most highly-favoured one! the two children of 
 my brother, the most beautiful of the Gods. And do 
 you, Tritons, convey the lady across to it, and let a uni¬ 
 versal calm prevail. But as for the dragon, which now 
 terrifies and goads her to madness, the infants, as soon as 
 they are born, shall pursue it immediately and avenge their 
 mother. Now, do you carry word to Zeus that everything 
 is in good order. Delos stands immovable : let Leto come 
 at once and lie in. 
 
 XI. 
 
 THE RIVER XANTHUS SUPPLICATES THALASSA (THE SEA) TO 
 
 RECEIVE HIM, AND CURE HIS BURNS INFLICTED UPON HIM 
 
 BY HEPHiESTUS ON BEHALF OF ACHILLEUS. 
 
 Xanthus and Tlialassa. 1 
 
 Xanthus. Deceive me, 0 Thalassa, in my terrible suffer¬ 
 ings, and quench my fiery wounds. 
 
 Thalassa. What’s this, Xanthus ? Who burnt you up ? 
 
 Xanthus. Hepha3stus. Yes, I am all burned to a cinder, 
 ill-fated wretch that I am, and I am at boiling pitch. 
 
 Tlialassa. Why, pray, did he throw fire upon you ? 
 
 Xanthus. On account of the son of Thetis here. For when 
 I approached him as a suppliant as he was murdering the 
 Phrygians, and I could not make him cease from his rage, 
 but he kept blocking up my stream under the weight of 
 the corpses ; out of pity for the poor wretches, I rushed 
 upon him, intending to immerse him, that he might be 
 frightened and abstain from slaughter of the men. Here¬ 
 upon Hepheestus—for he happened to be somewhere near 
 —with all the fire, as I imagine, he had in his forge and 
 all he had in Hltna, and wherever else he may have any , 
 
 1 See Ίλ. xxi. for the Homeric story, which Lucian here holds up to 
 ridicule, with his accustomed mercilessness. Known to the Gods as 
 Xanthus, this once heroic River (now, under the name of Mendere, any¬ 
 thing but aggressive or formidable) had the earthly name of Skamander. 
 It forms one of the Εικόνες of Pkilostratus. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE SEA-GODS. 
 
 77 
 
 attacked me, and burned up all my elms and tamarisks, 
 and roasted, too, the unfortunate fish and eels ; and, causing 
 myself to boil over, all but entirely dried me up. You 
 perceive, then, how I am affected by these marks of the 
 conflagration. 
 
 Thalassa. You are turbid, and feverish and hot, as might 
 be expected. Blood flows from dead bodies ; heat, as you 
 say, from fire; and not unreasonably, my friend Xanthus, did 
 this happen to you, for making an assault upon my grand¬ 
 son, without respecting the fact of his being a Nereid’s son. 
 
 Xanthus. Should I not, then, have had pity on the Phry¬ 
 gians, my neighbours ? 
 
 Thalassa. And should not Hephaestus have shown pity 
 to Achilleus, who is the son of Thetis ? 
 
 XII. 
 
 THETIS RELATES TO DORIS THE STORY OF THE EXPOSURE OF 
 DANAE AND HER INFANT, PERSEUS. 
 
 Doris and Thetis. 
 
 Doris. Why do you weep, Thetis P 
 
 Thetis. I saw just now a most beautiful girl 1 cast into a 
 chest—herself and her newly-born babe ; and the father 
 gave orders to the sailors to take away the chest, and, when 
 they had got out some distance from the land, to let it drop 
 into the sea, so that the wretched girl might perish, both 
 she and her baby. 
 
 Doris. For what reason, my sister ? Tell me, if you 
 know it at all, the whole story exactly. 
 
 Thetis. Her father, Akrisius, incarcerating her in a cer¬ 
 tain brazen chamber, 2 kept her a virgin, most beautiful 
 though she was. Then—if it be true, I can’t say—bat 
 they do say that Zeus, transformed into gold, flowed in a 
 
 1 Kopiy, like the Latin puella , is often applied to married women as 
 well as to virgins. 
 
 2 Cf. Ov. Metam. iv. 9; Hor. Car. iii. 16; Pausanias (ii. 23). The 
 Greek traveller informs us that this brazen prison underground was 
 visible down to the historical age, and, indeed, had been seen by himself. 
 “ As some sager sing,” the golden Zeus was no other than Prcetus, the 
 young lady’s uncle. 
 
78 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE SEA-GODS. 
 
 stream through the roof to her, and that she received the 
 fluid God into her arms, and became pregnant. Her father, 
 a savage and jealous sort of old fellow, learning this, was in 
 a great rage, and, suspecting she had been debauched by 
 some mortal , thrust her into the chest as soon as ever she 
 had been delivered. 
 
 Doris. And she—what did she do, when she was dropped 
 
 into the sea ? 
 
 Thetis. As regarded herself, Doris, she was silent, and 
 was content to endure her sentence ; but, for the babe, she 
 kept entreating that it might not die, weeping, and show¬ 
 ing it—most beautiful babe that it was—to its grandfather, 
 while the infant itself, in its ignorance of its misfortunes, 
 actually smiled at the sight of the sea. I feel my*eyes fill 
 with tears again in recounting them. 
 
 Doris. You made me shed tears, too. But are they 
 now dead ? 
 
 Thetis. By no means, for the chest is still floating about 
 Seriplius,* preserving them alive. 
 
 Doris. Why, then, don’t we save it by putting it into the 
 nets of those Seriphian fishermen P And they, no doubt, 
 will draw it out and save their lives. 
 
 Thetis. You say well. So let us do ; for neither must 
 she herself perish, nor must the infant, seeing it is so 
 bonny. 
 
 XIII. 
 
 ENIPEUS REPROACHES POSEIDON WITH THE FRAUDULENT 
 SEDUCTION OF THE NYMPH TYRO. POSEIDON EXCUSES 
 HIMSELF. 
 
 Poseidon and Dnipeus. 1 2 
 
 Dnipeus. This is no honourable conduct, Poseidon—for 
 the truth shall be told. Having made yourself like me, 
 you stealthily approached my mistress, and debauched the 
 
 1 Modern Serpho, a rocky island of the Greek Archipelago, some hun¬ 
 dred miles from the head of the Gulf of Nauplia. 
 
 2 See Hyginus, Fab. lx.; OS. xi. 234-250 ; Strabo, viii. “ Haud sane 
 multum conqueritur de injuria sibi a Neptuno facta, videturque pudi- 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE SEA-GODS. 79 
 
 girl, while she supposed she underwent this at my hands, 
 and for that reason she yielded herself up. 
 
 Poseidon. Yes, for you were disdainful and dilatory— 
 you who neglected so good-looking a girl (who paid you 
 daily visits, dying for love) and took pleasure in causing 
 her pain ; while she, wandering along your banks, and even 
 entering your stream , and sometimes bathing, was dying to 
 have your embrace: but you would give yourself airs towards 
 her. 1 
 
 Enipeus. What then? Ought you, on that account, to 
 have forestalled my love, passed yours*elf off as Enipeus in¬ 
 stead of Poseidon, and cheated a simple-minded girl like 
 Tyro ? 
 
 Poseidon. It is now too late for you to be jealous, Enipeus, 
 supercilious before. But as for Tyro, she has not suffered 
 anything very dreadful, since she thinks that she has lost 
 her virginity to you. 
 
 Enipeus. Hot so, indeed ; for you declared, at your leaving 
 her, you were Poseidon, a fact which grieves her above 
 everything. And I have been injured in this—that you 
 were then enjoying my privileges ; and, by raising a sort of 
 dark wave all around, which concealed you together, you 
 enjoyed the girl in my place. 
 
 Poseidon. Yes, for you, my friend Enipeus, had no desire 
 to have her. 
 
 bunda virgo non nimis indigne tulisse personae mutatae fraudem,” re¬ 
 marks Hemsterhuis, in regard to the interview of Tyro’s ghost with the 
 son of Laertes in Hades. 
 
 1 He had some right to be supercilious — 
 
 “ 'Ός πολύ κ άλλιστος ποταμών ιπι γαϊαν 'Ιησι —Ό5. xi. 238. 
 
80 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE SEA-GODS. 
 
 XIV. 
 
 A TRITON RELATES TO THE NEREIDS THE STORY OF THE 
 RESCUE OF ANDROMEDA BY PERSEUS. 
 
 Triton and Nereids. 1 
 
 Triton. That sea-monster 2 of yours, Nereids, which you 
 sent against Andromeda, the daughter of Kepheus, did 
 no harm to the girlj as you imagine, while itself has now 
 perished. 3 
 
 Nereids. At whose hands, Triton ? Did Kepheus expose 
 the girl as a bait, and rush upon and slay it, lying in 
 ambush with, a large force P 
 
 Triton. Not so. But you, Iphianassa, know, I suppose, 
 Perseus, Danae’s baby, whom with his mother you saved 
 out of pity, when she was- cast into the sea in the chest by 
 his maternal grandfather. 
 
 Iphianassa. I know whom you speak of, and likely 
 enough he is now a young man, and very noble and 
 handsome to look at. 
 
 Triton. He has killed the monster. 
 
 Iphianassa. Why, Triton ? Surely it did not become 
 him to rej)ay us such reward for saving him. 
 
 Triton. I will explain to you the whole matter as it hap- 
 
 1 Those who wish to learn the names of the Nereides, the charming 
 divinities of the sea, will find them displayed by Hesiod, θεογ. 240-261 ; 
 Ίλ. xviii. 38-50; Apollod. i. 26, and by Spenser, in the Faerie Queen, 
 
 iv. 11. They presided over the Greek Sea, κατ εξοχήν, the Medi¬ 
 terranean, at the bottom of which they dwelt in beautiful grottos and 
 caves. Their number was limited to fifty. The most famous of them 
 ■was the wife of Peleus and mother of Achilleus. Cf. the “ orca 
 marina” of the Orlando Furioso. 
 
 2 Κήτος. In the Homeric epics vaguely used of any marine mam¬ 
 malia. By Aristotle (Z. /.), and succeeding naturalists, applied to the 
 whale and cetacea proper. Here it signifies some huge sea-monster, the 
 prototype, probably, of the monster in Ratfaelle’s “ St. Margaret.” 
 
 3 For the story of the deliverance of Andromeda, the prototype of 
 most of the “ distressed damsels ” of mediaeval and later romance, see 
 Ov. Metam. iv. 10 ; Plyginus, Fab. Ixiv.; Apollod. ii. 3. For the celes¬ 
 tial immortalization of the “starred iEthiop queen,” see Aratus, Φαινομ. 
 
 v. 10. Cf. Pindar, ΐΐύθ., xii. One of the lost tragedies of Euripides 
 was founded on this exposure of Andromeda. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE SEA-GODS. 
 
 81 
 
 pened. He set out against the Gorgons to perform some 
 arduous deed of that sort for the king ; 1 and, when he 
 arrived in Libya- 
 
 Iphianassa. In what fashion, Triton ? Alone, or did he 
 take some others with him as auxiliaries ? He took com¬ 
 panions,, doubtless , for, otherwise, the road is difficult of 
 passage. 
 
 Triton. Through the air: for Athena supplied him with 
 wings. And when, accordingly, he came where they were 
 living, they were asleep, I imagine ; and he cut off the 
 head of Medusa, and took to his wings, and made oil. 
 
 Iphianassa. How did he get a look at her ? For they are 
 not to be seen: or, whoever does have a look at them will 
 never thereafter look at anything else. 
 
 Triton. Athena, by holding before him her shield—for 
 I heard him afterwards telling Andromeda and Kepheus 
 so—Athena, I say, upon her resplendent shield, as upon a 
 mirror, allowed him to have a glimpse of the reflection from 
 Medusa ; then, seizing her by the hair with his left hand, and 
 fixing his eyes upon the reflection, he grasped his scimitar 
 with his right, and cut off her head, and flew off before her 
 sisters awoke. And when he had arrived in the neighbour¬ 
 hood of the sea-coast of .^Ethiopia here, while now flying near 
 to the earth, he sees Andromeda lying exposed upon a certain 
 projecting rock, fast secured to it—a most beautiful object, 
 ye gods ! with her tresses let down, half naked much below 
 the breasts. 2 In the first place, pitying her fate, he began 
 questioning her as to the cause of her condemnation; 
 but, insensibly captured by passion—for the girl had to be 
 saved—he resolved to bring aid to her. And, when the 
 sea-monster rushed towards her, exceedingly terrible, as 
 though about to swallow Andromeda whole, the youth sus- 
 
 1 Polydektes, the king of Seriphos, the island on which the outcasts 
 had found refuge. 
 
 2 In this very favourite subject of modei*n art she is invariably i*epi*e- 
 sented wholly nude. In Greek art she sometimes appears as here 
 described. In the picture described by Philostratus, following Eui’i- 
 pides, the chains which bind Andromeda are being unfastened by Eros. 
 With the κήτος of this i*omance compare the ti’emendous Dragon of the 
 Golden Eleece, described by Apollonius, Άργ. iv. 127-160, and the 
 prodigious Serpent of the Thebais of Statius, which occupies an acre of 
 ground. 
 
 G 
 
82 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE SEA-GODS. 
 
 pended above, in the air, bis scimitar grasped by the hilt, 
 with one hand aims his blows, and with the other displays 
 the Gorgon’s head in front of him, and turned the creature 
 into stone ; and it died there and then, and the greater part 
 of it, as much as looked upon Medusa, is petrified. 1 Then, 
 unfastening the virgin’s bonds, and giving her his hand, 
 he supported her as she descended on tip-toe from the 
 rock, which was smooth and slippery. And now he is 
 celebrating his nuptials in the palace of Kepheus, and he 
 will carry her off to Argos; so that, instead of death, she 
 has found a bridegroom one does not meet with every day. 
 
 Iphianassa. Well, for my part, I am not excessively 
 grieved at the event: for how did the girl wrong us, if her 
 mother did boast somewhat loudly on that occasion, and 
 claim to be fairer than we ? 2 
 
 Doris. The girl ought to have perished notwithstanding , for 
 so the mother would have suffered pain, on account of her 
 daughter, if, at least, she is a true mother. 
 
 Iphianassa. Let us no longer, Doris, bear these wrongs in 
 mind, though a female of barbaric birth talked somewhat 
 in a style beyond her proper rank and situation; 3 for, 
 in having been frightened on account of her child, she has 
 paid to us a sufficient penalty. Let us, therefore, rejoice 
 at her wedding. 4 
 
 1 The bones of this bellua (as it is called by Ovid), as we are assured 
 by the naturalist Pliny, were brought to Rome from the town of Joppa, 
 on the Palestinian coast, the supposed scene of the tremendous combat, 
 and were found to be forty feet in length, while the spine was a foot 
 and a half in thickness. Hist. Nat. ix. 5. Pansanias (iv. 35), too, 
 makes Joppa the scene of the memorable exposure and combat. He 
 tells us that a spring close by was, in his time, still red with the blood 
 of the monster. Cf. Solinus, xxxvi. As for the rationalising Palte- 
 phatus, he considers it absurd to believe in the exposure of girls to sea- 
 monsters. The real monster he finds in a certain king named Keton. 
 
 2 “ That starred iEthiop queen that strove 
 To set her beauty’s praise above 
 
 The sea-nymphs, and their Powers offended.” 
 
 3 Βάρβαρος, usually translated “ barbarian,” properly denotes merely 
 a non-Hellen, one not speaking the Hellenic language, “a foreigner.” 
 The Greeks called all foreigners barbaroi; in particular, the highly- 
 civilized Persians. Iphianassa, as a Greek divinity, naturally speaks 
 as a Greek woman. 
 
 4 Γάμος. This term was especially applied to the wedding supper 
 (for the feast always took place at night) which, with the Greeks, was the 
 sole witness of the legal solemnization of the rite. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE SEA-GODS. 
 
 83 
 
 XY. 
 
 ZEPHTRUS RELATES TO NOTUS THE MANNER OF THE RAPE OF 
 
 EUROPA, AND THE MARINE POMP WITH WHICH SHE WAS 
 
 CONDUCTED TO HER NUPTIALS WITH ZEUS. 
 
 Φ 
 
 Zephyrus and Notus. 
 
 Zephyrus. Never did I see a more magnificent Proces¬ 
 sion on the sea, since I was born, and began to blow. But 
 you—did you not see it, Notus ? 
 
 Notus. What is this Procession you talk of, Zephyrus, 
 or who were the Processionists P 
 
 Zephyrus. You have missed a most delicious spectacle, 
 the like of which you may never see again. 
 
 Notus. Yes, for I was employed in the neighbourhood of 
 the Red Sea, and, indeed, I blow over part of India, as 
 much of the country as stretches along the sea-coast. 
 I know, therefore, nothing of what you speak of. 
 
 Zephyrus. But you know Agenor of Sidon ? 
 
 Notus. Yes, the father of Europa. 1 What then ? 
 
 Zephyrus. It is about herself I will relate to you a story. 
 
 Notus. It is not, is it, that Zeus has been for a long time 
 the girl’s lover ? For that I knew quite a long while ago. 
 
 Zephyrus. You are, then, aware of the amour. But listen 
 now to the sequel. Europa had gone down to the shore 
 in sportive mood, taking with her companions of her own 
 
 1 See Ov. Metam. ii. 14, iii. 1, and the charming Idyll of Moschus, 
 entitled Ευρώπη. Herodotus, at the beginning of his Histories, among 
 the numerous rapes of European and Asiatic women perpetrated by the 
 two races, one upon the other, which he assigns as the original cause of 
 the enmity between them, recounts that of Europa, whom he alleges to 
 have been carried off by Greek traders : a more probable explanation of 
 a Greek myth than many of the solutions of the old historian — χρονιών 
 ΰζων καί βεκκέσεληΐ'ος. Palaephatus, in his accustomed rationalising 
 spirit, discredits the miracle. “ I believe,” he affirms, “ that neither a 
 bull nor a horse could swim so great a space of sea ; nor do I believe 
 that a girl would mount a fierce bull; and Zeus, if he wished to bring 
 Europa to Krete, would have found for her a pleasanter way of travel¬ 
 ling.’'' The bull, in fact, he resolves into the less prodigious human 
 ravisher, whose name he supposes to have been Tauros. 
 
84 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE SEA-GODS. 
 
 age. And Zeus, making himself like a bull, began to 
 sport with them, seeming a very handsome creature, for he 
 was perfectly white, and had beautifully crumpled horns, 
 and was tame and quiet in look. He began, then, as he was, 
 to frolic about upon the shore, and to bellow most sweetly; 
 so that Europa ventured even to mount him. And, as soon 
 as this was done, Zeus started off with her at a running pace 
 towards the sea ; and, plunging in, began to swim. But 
 she, very much terrified at the occurrence, with her left 
 hand kept clinging to his horn, that she might not slip off, 
 while with the other she held together her long flowing 
 dress, 1 blown about by the wind. 
 
 Notus. That was a charming spectacle, Zephyrus, you 
 witnessed, and an amorous—Zens swimming, carrying 
 his beloved. 
 
 Zephyrus. Yet what followed was far more delightful, 
 Notus. For the sea from that moment was without a 
 ripple, and, attracting a perfect calm, showed itself smooth 
 and unruffled. We, however, keeping quiet, followed, 
 being no more than mere spectators of what was hap¬ 
 pening : and the Loves, hovering a little above the sea, 
 so as at times to graze the water with the tips of their 
 feet, with lighted torches, sang together the hymeneal 
 song : while the Nereids, emerging from the sea, rode by 
 their side upon dolphins, clapping their hands, most of them 
 half-naked.* Then, too, the whole tribe of Tritons, and 
 whatever else of the sea-dwellers is not terrible to the 
 sight—all led their dances round the girl. Poseidon, 
 indeed, mounting upon his chariot, and with Amphitrite 
 riding at his side, led the way with hilarity, clearing the 
 way for his swimming brother. To crown all, two Tritons 
 were bearing Aphrodite, who reclined upon a shell, and 
 
 1 The πέπλος was a full, flowing dress worn by Greek ladies. Cf. 
 Ίλ. v. 734 ; *Od. xviii. 292 ; Xen. K νροπ. v. i. 6 ; Euripides, Μηδ. 1160 
 (of the fatal peplos given to Glauke by Medea). The peplos worn by 
 Athena, in the Panathenaic procession at Athens, is the most cele¬ 
 brated example of it. 
 
 2 “ Njj ρεΐδες δ’άνέδυσαν νπεζ άλός, at δ'άρα πασαι 
 Κητείοες νώτοισιν εφημεναι εστιχόω,ντυ 
 
 * * * * Τ0 1 δ’όμφ'ι μιν τ/γερέθοντο 
 
 Τρίτωνες, πόντοιο βαρύθρυοι αυλητήρες,” κ.τ.λ. 
 
 Moschus, Ευρώπη —114-120. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE SEA-GODS. 
 
 85 
 
 scattered all sorts of flowers before the bride. 1 This took 
 place all the way from. Phenicia as far as Krete. But, 
 when he had set foot on the island, the bull was no longer 
 to be seen. Then Zeus, taking her by the hand, conducted 
 Europa to the cave of Dikte, blushing and with eyes cast 
 down: for now she knew to what she was being led. And 
 we, plunging in, set to work to put the sea in commotion, 
 one in one part, and another in another. 
 
 Notus. 0 fortunate Zephyrus, to have seen such a 
 sight! But I, for my part, had to satisfy my eyes with 
 elephants, griffins, 2 and black men. 
 
 1 This graphic description of the nuptial procession of Europa and 
 Zeus, a sort of description in which Lucian excels, it is highly probable, 
 was suggested by some particular, celebrated, picture. One of the most 
 famous modern paintings of this subject is that of Paolo Veronese, in the 
 British National Gallery. 
 
 2 For this monster, so well known to the mediaeval world, cf. Προμ. 
 Δεσμ. 284, where the οιωνόν is so interpreted by the scholia, &c.; 
 Herod, iii. 116; Pliny, Hist. Nat. viii. 21, x. 49 ; ZElian, Περί Ζώων 
 ’Icier., iv. 27 ; Philost. 'A πολλών, iii. 48. Plaut. Aul. v. i. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 i. 
 
 DIOGENES COMMISSIONS POLYDEUKES, ABOUT TO RETURN TO 
 THE UPPER WORLD, TO INFORM MENIPPUS OF THE ACTUAL 
 CONDITION OF THINGS IN THE LAND OF SHADES, AND TO 
 DELIVER ADMONITORY MESSAGES TO VARIOUS SORTS OF MEN 
 
 -THE RICH, THE POWERFUL, THE PROUD; AND, FINALLY, 
 
 TO THE POOR, WHOM, WHEN THEY COMPLAIN OF THEIR LOT ON 
 EARTH, HE IS TO CONSOLE BY REPRESENTING THE COMPLETE 
 EQUALITY (ισοτιμία) WHICH PREVAILS IN THE REGIONS OF 
 THE DEAD. 
 
 Diogenes . and Polydeukes. 
 
 Diogenes. Polydeukes, I entrust to yon the task, as soon 
 as ever yon reach the upper world—for it is your turn, 1 I 
 believe, to return to life again to-morrow—if you any¬ 
 where catch sight of Menippus, 2 the Dog (and you would 
 
 1 See θ. Δ. xxvi. 
 
 2 Menippus, who figures so conspicuously in these Dialogues, was a 
 countryman of Lucian, born at Gadara, in Hollow Syria, in the first 
 century B.c. He belonged to the Cynic sect, and by his satirical 
 writings is one of the most famous of that school: but his cynicism did 
 not prevent him from making an extensive fortune in trade as a banker, 
 which he lost by the bad faith of a trusted friend. He then put an end 
 to his life. His Satires are known to us only through the fragments of 
 the Saturee Menippeee of Varro (his contemporary), the learned Latin 
 antiquarian : one of the best of which is the Prometheus Liber. Cicero 
 ( Qucest. Academ.) alludes to the Menippean Satires as displaying pro¬ 
 found philosophy as well as wit. Marcus Aurelius (Td tig 'Eaurov) 
 especially mentions him as a distinguished mocker of human life 
 ( χλεναστης ). The predecessors of Menippus, in this line, were Demo- 
 kritus of Abdera (Td περί των iv Άδον), and one or two other less- 
 known names. One of the most interesting of the Lucianic Dialogues, 
 which is a sort of epitome of the Dialogues of the Dead, and w hich 
 might well have given Dante hints for his Inferno , derives its title from 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 87 
 
 probably find him afcKorinth, near the Kraneium, or in the 
 Lyceium, 1 deriding the philosophers as they quarrel one 
 with another), to say to him : “ Diogenes bids you, Me- 
 nippus, if things above ground have been sufficiently 
 ridiculed by you, to come hither, to laugh at many more 
 matters. For there your laughter was yet questionable, and 
 frequent was the objection, 2 but who knows altogether what 
 is to come after life ? But here you will not cease laughing 
 on firm grounds, as I do now, and most of all when you 
 seethe rich, and viceroys, and princes to be so humble and 
 obscure, and distinguishable by their lamentations alone, 
 and that they are soft-hearted and mean-spirited, recollect¬ 
 ing their life above.” This tell him, and, further, to come 
 with his scrip filled with a quantity of lupines; and, if he any¬ 
 where find on the cross-roads a supper for Hekate set out, or 
 a purificatory egg, 3 or anything of the sort, let him bring it. 
 
 Polycleukes. AVell, I will give this message, Diogenes. 
 But describe him, that I may know quite certainly what 
 manner of man he is as to looks. 
 
 Diogenes. An old fellow, bald, with a little old cloak, 4 
 with many a hole in it, exposed to every wind of heaven, 
 and variegated with rags and tatters ; α and he is for ever 
 laughing, and, for the most part, jeers at those loud- 
 talking philosophers. 
 
 Polydeukes. It will be easy to find him by those tokens, 
 at all events. 
 
 the Cynic of Gadara— Μενίτιτπος ?/ N εκνομαντεία. Κνων, “the Dog,” is 
 frequently used by Lucian for the adjective κννικός. Cf. Δι'ς Κατηγορού¬ 
 μενος, 33. The Homeric picture of Hades (Όδ. xi.) is an especial object 
 of ridicule throughout these Dialogues. 
 
 1 The places especially frequented by Diogenes of Sinope, the 
 famous Cynic. The Kraneium, where he died, was a cypress grove in 
 the suburbs of Korinth. The Lyceium was the Gymnasium, on the 
 S.E. of Athens, celebrated as the scene of the teaching of Aristotle. 
 
 2 Jacobitz translates και πολύ το, “ es kam dir haufig der Gedanke 
 bei,” and cites Ά λεζάνδρος, 20 . 
 
 3 It was a common custom with the rich to propitiate the all-powerful 
 and dreaded divinity of the Night, at the end of each month, with 
 certain dishes from their kitchens, and other offerings, consisting, 
 according to the barbarous melange of the sacrificial ritual, of black 
 lambs, and dogs. These highway sacrifices were in high repute and 
 request with the starving poor, who seldom failed to act as the priests 
 of the triune Goddess. Cf. Aristoph. Πλούτος·, 595-7 ; Mart. Ep. vii. 53 5 
 Petron. Satyr; Plut. Συμπ. vii. 65 Lucian, N. Δ. xxii.; Καταπλ. 7. 
 
88 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 Diogenes. Are you -willing that I give you some commis¬ 
 sion with respect to those philosophers themselves ? 
 
 Polydeukes. Speak: for that will not be any trouble 
 either. 
 
 Diogenes. In a word, then, exhort them to cease their 
 trifling nonsense, and quarrelling about the nature of the 
 universe, and generating “ horns ” for each other, and 
 making “ crocodiles,” 1 and teaching the young to engage 
 in such futile rubbish. 
 
 Polydeukes. But they will say that I am an ignorant and 
 uneducated fellow to denounce their philosophy. 
 
 Diogenes. Do you, however, bid them from me to go and 
 howl with a plague to them. 
 
 Polydeukes. This message, too, I will give them, Diogenes. 
 
 Diogenes. And to the rich, my dearest pet of a Poly¬ 
 deukes, convey this message from me : “ Why, 0 fools, do 
 you guard your gold so religiously; and why do you punish 
 yourselves, calculating the interest of your money, and 
 heaping talents upon talents, who must shortly come hither 
 with only a single obolus ? ” 2 
 
 For the purificatory egg with which the goddess Isis, or her priests, was 
 propitiated, see Juv. Sat. vi. 518; and for the Larvae and Lemures, see 
 Persius Sat. v. 185 ; Ov. De Arte Am. ii. 330. See, also, Ov. Fast. v. 1. 
 etc., and Suidas. 
 
 4 The τριβώνιον was a specially distinctive mark of the followers of 
 Antisthenes and Diogenes, and frequently figures in Lucian’s ridicule of 
 their extravagances. 
 
 5 Ταις επιπτνχαΐς κ. r. λ. is translated by Jacobitz, “ mit Lappen von 
 alien moglickem Farben geflickt.” See Heliodorus, Αίθιοπ. vi. 
 
 1 Κέρατα — κροκοδείλους. Technical names in the absurd Syllogisms 
 of the school of Zeno and Chrysippus. The syllogism of the “horns” 
 was thus framed : “ What you have not lost, you have: You have not 
 lost horns : Therefore you have horns.” From this has been supposed 
 (but, probably, without reason) to be derived the proverb of reproach — 
 “to wear the horns.” As for the syllogism of the “crocodile,” it 
 derived its name from the following illustration:—A crocodile seizes a 
 child on the banks of a river, and promises to restore it to the father if 
 he can tell truly whether the child will be given back or no. How 
 completely the father was placed on the horns of a dilemma needs no 
 demonstration. The illustration is given by Lucian, in his ridicule of 
 the Stoic logic in the Sale of Lives. Cf. Quintilian, Inst. i. 10, on 
 the ceratinas et crocodilinas ambiguitates , Diog. Laert. Lucian, 
 Έρμοτ. 81. 
 
 2 The obolus, a coin, which in most of the Greek States had the value 
 of twopence in English money, was always most religiously placed in 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 89 
 
 Polydevikes. This, too, shall be told to them. 
 
 Diogenes. Yes, and say to the handsome and the strong, 
 to Megillus of Corinth and Damoxenus the Wrestler, 1 
 that with ns there is neither auburn hair, nor bright nor 
 black eyes, nor a blush upon the cheek any longer, nor well- 
 strung nerves, nor strong shoulders: but all is for us, as 
 they say, “ one and the same dust ” 2 —skulls bare of all 
 beauty. 
 
 Polydeukes. It will be no trouble either to say this to 
 the handsome and strong. 
 
 Diogenes. And to the poor, Mr. Laconian 3 —and they are 
 numerous enough, grieving at their lot, and bewailing 
 their destitution—say that they are not to weep or lament; 
 explain to them the perfect equality here; and that they 
 will see those who are rich there (in the upper world) in 
 no way better off than themselves. And your Lacede¬ 
 monians reprove from me for this, if you like—telling them 
 that they have become remiss and degenerate. 
 
 Polydeulies. Not a word, Diogenes, about the Lacede¬ 
 monians, for I certainly will not tolerate it. But as to what 
 you were saying in regard to the rest, I will deliver your 
 messages. 
 
 Diogenes. Let us leave them alone, since such is your 
 pleasure : do you, however, convey from me my words to 
 those whom I before mentioned. 
 
 the mouth of the dead, as a viaticum , in payment to the ferryman of 
 the Styx and the other infernal rivers. See especially Lucian’s Χάρων. 
 The τάλαντον, of Attica, was worth, nearly, .£*244. Cf. Juv. Sat. iii. 267. 
 
 L The handsome Megillus figures in Charon’s boat. ΚαΓαπλ. 22 ; 
 Damoxenus in Pausanias as a famous Syracusan athlete, vii. 
 
 2 One reading has μία Μύκονος “ one Myconos,” an island of the 
 Cyclades, famous for the number of its bald-headed inhabitants. 
 See Plut. Σνμπ. i. ; Clemens Alexand. Στροιμ. i. Terent. Hccyra. 
 iii. 4 ; Plin. Hist. Hat. x. 37; Strabo, Γεωγ. x. ; Erasmus, Adagia, 
 Lucian had in mind especially the όμεί/ηνα καρηνα, with the sight of 
 which Odysseus was so abundantly favoured on his visit to Hades, 
 Όδ. xi. 
 
 3 Polydeukes was one of the twin-children of Leda, wife of Tyndarus, 
 King of Sparta. See θ. Δ. xxvi. 
 
90 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 II. 
 
 KRCESUS, MIDAS, AND SARDANAPALUS COMPLAIN TO PLUTO OF 
 
 MENIPPUS THAT HE DERIDES THEM FOR THEIR LAMENTATIONS 
 
 OYER THE LOSS OF THE POWER, WEALTH, AND LUXURY WHICH 
 
 BELONGED TO THEM ON EARTH.-MENIPPUS, IN SPITE OF 
 
 PLUTO’S REMONSTRANCES, PERSISTS IN HIS RIDICULE. 
 
 Kroesus, Pluto, Midas, Sardanapalus, and Menippus. 
 
 Kroesus ( pointing at Menippus). We can’t endure, Pluto, 
 this dog here, Menippus, dwelling near us. So either 
 establish him somewhere else, or we shall change our 
 habitation to another spot. 
 
 Pluto. But what harm does he do you, seeing he is your 
 fellow-ghost P 
 
 Kroesus. Whenever we groan and lament, remembering 
 our possessions above—Midas here, his gold coin, and 
 Sardanapalus his abundant luxury, and I, Kroesus, my 
 treasures—he laughs at and upbraids us, calling us names 
 —“slaves ” and “ castaways ” ; 1 2 and sometimes he disturbs 
 our lamentations by singing, too ; and, in a word, he is a 
 nuisance to us. 
 
 Pluto. What is this they say, Menippus ? 
 
 Menippus. Quite true, Pluto : for I hate them for 
 vile and pestiferous fellows, for whom it was not enough 
 to live badly, but who, even when dead, still remember and 
 cling to their earthly possessions. I find pleasure, there¬ 
 fore, in vexing them. 
 
 Pluto. But it is not right; for they are no small things 
 they mourn the loss of. 
 
 Menippus. Are you, too, for playing the fool, Pluto, and 
 casting in your vote with these whining fellows ? 
 
 1 Καθάρματα , in the first instance, “ ofifscouring,” “ the refuse of a 
 sacrifice.” Used at Athens, in special sense, for certain real or pretended 
 criminals, who on the occasion of some national calamity were, like the 
 scape-goats of the Jews, employed as propitiatory sacrifices, and thrown 
 into the sea. Cf. Aristoph. ΊΊλ. 454. S. Paul, 1 Cor. iv. 13. 
 
 2 For ολέθριους, the common reading, Jacobitz has ολέθρους. Cf. : 
 “ Destroyers rightlier called, and plagues of men,” Par. Lost, xi. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 91 
 
 Pluto. Not at all: but I would not have you up in arms. 
 
 Menippus (shaking his fist). None the less, basest of 
 Lydians, Phrygians, and Assyrians, be well assured of this 
 —that 1 will never leave off : for, wherever you may go, I 
 will follow, annoying you, and singing to the tune of your 
 wailing, and ridiculing you. 
 
 Kroesus. Is this not insolence ? 
 
 Menippus. No, but that was insolence of which you were 
 guilty—in requiring worship, and in mocking at and in¬ 
 sulting freemen, without having any thought of the leveller 
 death at all. Therefore, bitterly shall you bewail the loss 
 of all these things. 
 
 Kroesus. Yes, 0 heavens, of many and great possessions ! 
 
 Midas. Of how much gold I ! 
 
 Sardanapalus. Of how much luxury I ! 
 
 Menippus. Well done! So do. You, for your part, 
 lament and weep, and I will accompany you, and occasion¬ 
 ally join in with the refrain, “ Know thyself ” : 1 for it 
 would be quite a suitable accompaniment to such howling. 
 
 1 The famous apophthegm , γνωθι ag«ur0v,has been attributed to various 
 Greek celebrities—Thales, Pythagoras, Sokrates, and others : but it is 
 generally conceded to Chilon, of Sparta, one of the “ seven sages,” who 
 lived in the seventh and sixth centuries b.c. See Diog. Laert. Περί 
 Βίων, &c. i. ; the Platonic Dialogue, ’Αλκιβιάδης, i. (from which it 
 appears that the words were inscribed on the entrance to the temple at 
 Delphi); Juv. Sat. xi. 27. Menander, the first of the New Comedy 
 dramatists, parodies this well-worn adage, and holds that i: Know 
 others ” might be more useful — χρησιμώπρον yap ην τό Τνώθι τους 
 άλλους. For Kroesus, see Herod, i. For some instances of the luxury 
 of Sardanapalus, consult Athenaeus, xii. 38, 39. 
 
92 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 III. 
 
 * 
 
 MENIPPUS RIDICULES THE ORACLES OF TROPHONIUS AND 
 
 AMPHILOCHUS. 
 
 Menippus, Amphilochus, and Trophonius. 1 
 
 Menippus. So then, you two, Trophonius and Amphi¬ 
 lochus, dead men though you are, for some reason or other 
 have been thought worthy of temples, and have the repu¬ 
 tation of prophets ; and the foolish triflers of men have 
 supposed you to be divine. 
 
 Amphilochus. Why, pray, are we to blame, if they, in 
 their folly, will have such opinions about dead people ? 
 
 Menippus. But they would not be holding such opinions, 
 unless, while you were living, you had indulged in such 
 juggling tricks, as though you foreknew the futtire, 
 and were able to foretell it to those who inquired of 
 you. 
 
 Trophonius. Menippus, Amphilochus himself must know 
 what answer he is to give respecting himself : but I, for 
 my part, am a hero, and deliver prophecies, whenever any 
 one comes down to visit me. But you appear never to 
 
 1 Amphilochus, with his equally prophetic father, enjoyed great re¬ 
 putation for oracular power. While on earth, they had taken part in 
 the celebrated AVar of the Epigoni (or “ Descendants ” of the Seven 
 against Thebes) upon the city of CEdipus. Amphilochus, the murderer 
 of his mother, had shrines at Athens, at Oropus on the confines of 
 Attica and Bceotia, and at Mallus in Cilicia. The Oracle of Arnplii- 
 araus was situated near Thebes, at the spot where he had been 
 swallowed up with his chariot, in his flight from the battle before that 
 city. For the still more renowned Oracle and Cavern of Trophonius 
 (who while in the flesh had enjoyed the reputation of an expert thief) 
 at Lebadeia in Boeotia, see Aristoph. Νε0. 507 ; Diod. B. I. xv.; Philost. 
 A. T. viii. 19 ; Maximus Tyrius (Διαλ. xxvi.) ; Origen in Celsus (Λόγος 
 ’Αληθής)·, Lucian, ’Αλέξανδρος, 29. The Comic poets (Kratinus and 
 Alexis) had not neglected so promising a subject. Pausanias, ix. 39. 
 Pausanias gives a rather particular account of the Cavern and its pre¬ 
 ternatural terrors, of which he had himself been witness. Plutarch is 
 said to have left a treatise on the subject, which, very unhappily, has 
 not survived. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 93 
 
 have stayed at Lebadeia at all; for otherwise you would not 
 refuse credence to these things. 
 
 Menippus. What do you say ? Unless I had gone to 
 Lebadeia, and dressed myself ridiculously in those fine 
 linen robes, and carried a barley-cake in my hands, and had 
 crawled through the mouth, which is low enough in the 
 roof , into the Cavern, I could not know that you are a dead 
 man, as we are, superior only by your juggling faculty ? 
 But, in the name of the prophetic art, what, pray, is a 
 “ hero ” ? for I don’t know. 
 
 Trophonius. A sort of compound of man and God. 
 
 Menippus. Which (as you say) is neither man nor god, 
 but both together ? Where, then, has that half of you, 
 the divine part, now gone off to ? 
 
 Trophonius. It is delivering oracles in Boeotia, Menippus. 
 
 Menippus. I don’t know, my friend Trophonius, what 
 you are talking about, indeed. That, however, you are 
 wholly a dead man, I see distinctly enough. 
 
 IV. · 
 
 HERMES DEMANDS FROM CHARON ARREARS OF PAYMENT DUE TO 
 HIM FOR HIS SERVICES ON THE STYX. CHARON EXCUSES 
 HIMSELF ON THE PLEA OF BAD TIMES ; NO GREAT WAR OR 
 FAMINE, AS IT HAPPENED, RAVAGING THE EARTH AT THAT 
 MOMENT. HERMES MORALISES ON THE CAUSES OF DEATH, 
 DIFFERENT FROM THOSE OF OLD, WHICH DESPATCH MEN IN 
 CROWDS TO HADES. 
 
 Hermes and Charon. 
 
 Hermes. Let us reckon up, Mr. Ferryman, if you please, 
 how much you now owe me, so that we may not hereafter 
 quarrel at all about it. 
 
 Charon. Let us do so, Hermes ; for it is better to come 
 to a definite understanding about it between ourselves, 
 and less likely to cause trouble ! 1 
 
 1 Or, as Wieland translates, “ wir haben gleich eine Sorge weniger.” 
 
94 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 Hermes. I procured to your order an anchor at five 
 drachmae. 1 
 
 Charon. A high price ! 
 
 Hermes. By Pluto, I purchased them at the full sum of 
 the five pieces, and a leathern thong for the oar for two 
 oboli. 
 
 Charon. Set down five drachmae and two oboli. 
 
 Hermes. And a darning-needle for mending the sail. Five 
 oboli I paid down for that. 
 
 Charon. Set down those, too. 
 
 Hermes. And bees’-wax to fill up the chinks in our little 
 craft, a Ά nails, too, and a small rope, of which you made 
 the brace- —two drachmae in all. 
 
 Charon. And you made a good bargain there. 
 
 Hermes. That is the whole sum , unless something else 
 has altogether escaped me in the reckoning. And when, 
 then, do you say that you will repay me this ? 
 
 Charon. Just now, my dear Hermes, it is quite impos¬ 
 sible. But if some pestilence or war should send us down 
 some shoals of men , it will then be in my power to make 
 profits by cooking the accounts of the fares. 2 
 
 Hermes. Am I, then, now to take my seat, praying for 
 the worst to happen, with the mere chance that I may get 
 something from it ? 
 
 Charon. There is nothing for you, otherwise, Hermes. 
 Just now, as you see, few come to us: for peace prevails. 3 
 
 Hermes. Better so, even though payment of your debt 
 due to me must be postponed by you. But, however, the 
 men of former times, Charon—you know in what sort they 
 used to come to us, nearly all of them, covered all over 
 with blood, and riddled \vith wounds, the majority of 
 them. But, nowadays, it is either some one who has died 
 by poison at the hands of his son or of his wife; or who is 
 swollen out in his stomach and legs by gluttony—pallid and 
 paltry—not at all like their predecessors. The most 
 
 1 The drachma , the principal silver coin with the Greeks, was, at 
 Athens, nearly equal to the French franc —9fd. 
 
 2 For Aiakus, the infernal judge, to whom Charon was bound to 
 present his accounts. Cf. Aristoph. Barp. 465, κ.τ.λ. ; Juv. Sat. i. 10. 
 
 3 It will be remembered that these Dialogues were composed during 
 the (coirparatively) peaceful reigns of the Antonines. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 95 
 
 of them come here, by plotting one against the other for 
 the sake of money, to judge by their appearance. 
 
 Charon. Yes, for that is an article exceedingly much 
 loved. 
 
 Hermes. Then, surely, neither could I be thought to be 
 wrong in so keenly demanding payment of your debt. 
 
 Y. 
 
 PLUTO DIRECTS HERMES TO BRING HIM THE FORT_^E AND 
 LEGACT-HUNTERS AND FLATTERERS OF A CERTAIN RICH MAN, 
 AND TO SUFFER THE LATTER TO OUTLIVE HIS FAWNING 
 SATELLITES . 1 
 
 Pluto and Hermes. 
 
 Pluto. You know that old man, I mean the very aged 
 and infirm fellow, the rich Eukrates, who has no children, 
 but fifty thousand legacy-hunters P 
 
 Hermes. Yes, you speak of the Sikyonian. What then ? 
 
 Pluto. Well, let him live on, Hermes; to the ninety 
 years he has already reached dealing out so many again, 
 and, if, at least, it were possible, even yet more. But as for 
 those fawning flatterers of his, the young Charinus, and 
 Damon, and the rest, drag them all down here, one after the 
 other, the whole lot of them. 
 
 Hermes. Such a proceeding would appear strange. 
 
 Pluto. Hot at all, but exceedingly just. For what wrong 
 have they suffered that they pray for his death, or, although 
 no way related, why do they lay claim to his money ? But 
 wliat of all things is most abominable is, that though they 
 entertain such wishes, they yet court and fawn upon him 
 
 1 In this and the two Dialogues following, Lucian satirizes a highly - 
 successful and lucrative profession in the Roman world of his time, as 
 well as in the earlier age of Juvenal and Martial. Not unknown among 
 the Greeks (in the New Comedy it occupies a conspicuous place), it 
 flourished to a much greater extent with their (political) masters, the 
 still more corrupt and luxurious Romans. Cf. Plant. Miles Glor. iii. 
 709-715 ; Hor. Sal. ii. 5 ; Juv. Sat. i. and xii.; Mart. Epigrammata ; 
 Lucian, passim. 
 
96 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 in public; and, when he is ill, their designs are very 
 evident to all; but, all the same, they engage to offer 
 a sacrifice if he should get better ; and, altogether, the 
 fawning of these gentlemen is of a somewhat subtle and 
 complicated character. So let the one remain untouched 
 by death, and let the others go off before him, while vainly 
 gaping in affected admiration. 
 
 Hermes. They will suffer a ridiculous fate, rascals that 
 they are. But he, indeed, charmingly cheats and buoys 
 them up with vain hopes exceedingly; and, in a word, 
 while always appearing like a corpse, he has far more 
 strength than the young men. They, however, already have 
 divided out the legacy among themselves, and are living 
 upon it, promising to themselves a happy time of it. 
 
 Pluto. Therefore, let him put off his old age and renew 
 his youth like Iolaus ; 1 but as for them, in the midst of 
 their hopes, leaving behind them the wealth they have 
 been dreaming of, let them come here this moment, miser¬ 
 able wretches dying miserably. 
 
 Hermes. Have no anxiety, Pluto ; for I will go after 
 them for you at once, one by one in their order. There 
 are seven of them, I believe. 
 
 Pluto. Drag them down. The old fellow shall follow 
 each of them to the tomb, while he himself, from being 
 aged, shall again be in the prime of youth. 
 
 1 The nephew and squire of Herakles, whose youth was renewed by 
 Hebe. See Ov. Metam. ix. 394—401. Herakles sent him into Sardinia, 
 and Iolaus, introducing civilisation to the inhabitants, was afterwards 
 worshipped by them as a principal divinity. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 97 
 
 VI. 
 
 TERPSION, A LEGACY-HUNTER, ACCUSES PLUTO AND THE FATES IN 
 THAT, ALTHOUGH ONLY THIRTY YEARS OF AGE, THEY HAD 
 CAUSED HIM TO PREDECEASE THE OBJECT OF HIS TENDER 
 REGARDS, THE MILLIONAIRE NONAGENARIAN, THUKRITUS. 
 PLUTO CONVINCES TERPSION OF THE INJUSTICE OF HIS ACCU¬ 
 SATION ; AND THE LEGACY-HUNTER CONSOLES HIMSELF IN 
 THE PROSPECT OF BEING SOON JOINED IN HADES BY HIS 
 LATE RIVALS ON EARTH. 
 
 Terpsion and Pluto . 
 
 Terpsion. Is this just, Pluto, that I have died at the age 
 of thirty years, while the old Thukritus, above his full tale 
 of ninety, lives on P 
 
 Pluto. Very just, certainly, Terpsion, since he does not 
 pass his life praying for the death of any of his friends, 
 while you the whole time were plotting against him, and 
 expecting his legacy. 
 
 Terpsion. Why, was it not fitting, old as he was, and no 
 longer capable of using his wealth, he had departed from 
 life and made way for the young P 
 
 Pluto. You lay down new and strange laws, Terpsion— 
 that a man, who is no longer able to enjoy his money, 
 should die ! But Pate and Nature have ordered it differ¬ 
 ently . 1 
 
 Terpsion. Then I blame them for that arrangement of 
 theirs ; for the business should have proceeded in some sort 
 of order—the older should go first, and after him the next in 
 age—and by no means have been reversed; nor should the 
 man laden with years, with only three teeth still left in his 
 head, seeing with difficulty, crouching and leaning upon the 
 shoulders of four domestics, his nose stuffed with phlegm 
 and his eyes with rheum, with no further perception of 
 anything pleasing, a sort of living tomb, derided by the 
 
 1 Compare the scene in the opening of the Alkcstis of Euripides, where 
 an animated altercation is represented between Apollo and Thanatos, 
 the latter claiming the young as his especial prey and privilege. 
 
 H 
 
98 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 young, remain alive, while the handsomest and most robust 
 youths die off: for that is a case of the “streams flowing 
 backward ” ; 1 or, in the last resort, people ought to know 
 when each particular old gentleman will certainly be on 
 the point of going off, so that they would not fawn upon 
 any of them to no purpose. Now, however, is the proverb 
 verified, “ the wagon drags the ox.” 2 
 
 Pluto. These things, Terpsion, are much more reason¬ 
 able than they seem to you to be. And you—what pos¬ 
 sesses you that you gape with open mouth after other 
 people's possessions, and thrust and force yourselves upon 
 childless old fellows ? Thus it is you incur ridicule, when 
 you are laid under ground before them ; and the matter 
 affords the greatest delight to most people, for, in pro¬ 
 portion as you pray for their deaths is it a pleasure to all 
 that you predecease them. Why, this is some new and 
 strange art you have devised—to make love to old men and 
 old women, most especially if they have no children ; while 
 those who are blessed with progeny have no lovers, as far 
 as you are concerned. However, already many of the objects 
 of your affection, understanding the rascality of your attach¬ 
 ment, if they have children, pretend to hate them, so that 
 they too may possess lovers ; accordingly, they who long 
 danced attendance, like a number of satellites, are excluded 
 in the wills ; while the child and Nature, as is just, possess 
 everything, and these gentlemen grind their teeth at having 
 been finely cheated. 
 
 Terpsion. True. Yet how many things of mine Thu- 
 kritus devoured, while always seeming to be just at the 
 last gasp, and (whenever I came into his house) groaning 
 
 1 ’Άνω yap -ποταμών . A Greek proverb, παγαί being understood. 
 The full expression is found in the Medeia of Euripides :— 
 
 ’ Άνω ποταμών ιερών χωροϋσι παγαί. 
 
 “ The springs of the rivers flow up ” ( i.e., in the contrary direction to 
 their natural course). Cf. Lucian, Περί τών επι Μ ισθφ Σννόντωι >; Ον. 
 Tristia, ϋ. 8. 
 
 2 Ή άμαζα τον βουν. Sup. ίκφερει or 'έλκει. Erasmus, Adagia , explains 
 this Greek Sprichtwort of the wagon dragging the ox backwards down 
 a steep hill; but, as Hemsterhuis remarks, that great glory of his 
 country is not always successful in adagiis explicandis. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 99 
 
 and croaking, in a manner, in the very depths of his chest , 
 for all the world like some unformed chicken from an 
 •egg; so that I, imagining him to be almost at the next 
 moment ready to embark upon his bier, would send him 
 a number of things, that my rivals in affection might not 
 surpass me in the magnitude of their gifts. And often, 
 kept awake by my anxious cares, I lay counting and 
 settling each particular item. This, in fact, has been the 
 cause of my death—sleeplessness and anxieties ; while he, 
 after having swallowed so large an amount of my bait, 
 stood by as I was being buried the day before yesterday, 
 laughing over me. 
 
 Pluto. Well done, Thukritus; may you live to the longest 
 possible period, at once rich and having the laugh against 
 such gentlemen ; and may you not die before, at least, you 
 have dispatched all your fawning flatterers before you. 
 
 Terpsion. This, Pluto, to me, too, would be exceedingly 
 •delightful now—if Charoeades, in fact, shall be going to 
 his grave this instant before Thukritus. 
 
 Pluto. Keep up your spirits, Terpsion, for both Pheidon 
 und Melanthus , 1 and, in fine, all of them, will precede him, 
 brought here by the same cares. 
 
 Terpsion. That has my full approbation. Long life to 
 you, Thukritus ! 
 
 VII. 
 
 ZENOPHANTES AND KALLIDEMIDES, TWO PARASITES, BEWAIL ONE 
 TO THE OTHER THEIR FATES, IN HAVING BEEN IN THE MIDST 
 OF THEIR SCHEMING UNEXPECTEDLY DISMISSED TO HADES. 
 KALLIDEMIDES, IN PARTICULAR, RECOUNTS THE PLEASANT 
 MANNER IN WHICH HE BROUGHT ABOUT HIS OWN DEATH. 
 
 Zenophantes and Kallidemides. 
 
 Zenophantes. And you, Kallidemides, how did you come 
 
 1 If these are not the names of contemporaries of Lucian, they may 
 be derived from the characters of the New Comedy. 
 
100 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 by your death ? For my part, you know that I, who was 
 Deinias’s parasite, was choked by gorging inordinately : 
 for you were present at my death. 
 
 Kallidemides. I was so, Zenophantes. But my fate was 
 a strange and unusual sort of one. You knew surely 
 something of Ptceodorus, the old gentleman ? 
 
 Zenophantes. The childless millionaire, with whom I 
 knew you as chiefly familiar ? 
 
 Kallidemides. That’s the very man I was always courting, 
 who promised that he would speedily depart this life for 
 my special benefit. When, however, the business was being 
 protracted to an unconscionable length, and the old fellow 
 was extending his life beyond the age of Tithonus 1 himself, 
 I devised an expeditious sort of road to the inheritance. 
 Purchasing a poison, I induced his butler, as soon as ever 
 Ptceodorus asked to drink—and he drinks pretty hard—to 
 put it in his cup and have it ready to give to him ; and, if 
 he would do so, I pledged myself by oath to give him his 
 freedom. 
 
 Zenophantes. What happened then ? For you seem to 
 be going to tell some very strange story. 
 
 Kallidemides. Well, when we had come from the bath, 
 the lad with the two cups all ready, the one having the 
 poison for Ptceodorus, and the other for me—by some 
 blunder gave me the poison, and Ptceodorus the unpoisoned 
 goblet. Accordingly he drank his harmlessly , while in a 
 moment I lay an outstretched corpse, substituted in his 
 place.—Why do you laugh at this, Zenophantes P Surely it 
 does not beseem you to mock at a gentleman and a friend. 
 
 Zenophantes (laughing immoderately ). Why, my friend 
 Kallidemides, you experienced a comical sort of fate. But 
 the old gentleman, what did he at this? 
 
 Kallidemides. At first he was somewhat disturbed at the 
 
 1 A Greek proverb analogous to our “ as old as Methuselah,” with 
 the added notion of extreme decrepitude—a sort of Struldbrug. Titho¬ 
 nus (a Trojan prince, the brother of Priam), beloved by Eos, by her 
 intercession was privileged to be immortal; but the Goddess of the 
 Morning had omitted to demand from Zeus for her lover perpetual youth. 
 At his earnest prayer, he was metamorphosed into a grasshopper. See 
 Hor. Car. ii. 16, and Erasmus, Adagia. Athemeus (xii. 72) recounts a 
 much less poetical history of the beloved of Aurora, the termination of 
 which, unhappily, is lost. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 101 
 
 sudden event; afterwards, understanding, I suppose, wliat 
 had happened, he began to laugh himself, too, how the 
 butler had served me. 
 
 Zenophantes. But, however, you should never have had 
 recourse to the short cut, for it would have come to you 
 more safely by the high-road, even if a little more slowly. 
 
 VIII. 
 
 KNEMON, A LEGACY-HUNTER, LAMENTS TO HIS NEIGHBOUR 
 DAMNIPPUS, THAT, WHEREAS HE HAD PUBLICLY, IN HIS 
 WILL, BEQUEATHED ALL HIS WEALTH TO THE MILLIONAIRE 
 HERMOLAUS, IN THE EXPECTATION THAT THE LATTER WOULD 
 RECIPROCATE THE BENEFIT, HE, THE SPECULATING TESTATOR, 
 BY HIS SUDDEN DEATH, HAD BEEN FRUSTRATED OF ALL HIS 
 HOPES, AND, BESIDES, HAD LEFT HIS FAMILY DESTITUTE. 
 
 Knemon and Damnippus. 
 
 Knemon. Here is that saying of the proverb come true — 
 <£ the fawn slays the lion.” 1 
 
 Damnippus. What are you so angry and indignant about, 
 Knemon ? 
 
 Knemon. Do you ask what I am indignant about ? 
 Miserably tricked, I have left an heir behind me, against 
 my intention, and have passed over those whom most of 
 all I should have wished to have my property. 
 
 Damnippus. How did that happen P 
 
 Knemon. I was in the habit of courting and flattering 
 Hermolaus, the millionaire, who was childless, in the ex¬ 
 pectation of his dying before me; and he admitted my 
 courtship with no unpleasurable feeling. It appeared to 
 me, in fact, to be a clever device, that of registering my 
 
 1 'Ο νεβρός τον λέοντα (slip, alptl). A Greek adage implying the 
 occurrence of the unexpected—like the French proverb, “ C’est l'impos- 
 sible qui toujours arrive.” Hemsterhuis traces it, through Plato, to 
 Kritias. Cf. for other Greek proverbs, 'Αλιεύς. 9 ; Π?ρΐ των επί Μισθψ 
 Συνόντων. 
 
102 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 will in public, in which I have left him all my wealth, so 
 that he might emulate my example and do the same. 
 
 Pamnippus. What then, pray, did he ? 
 
 Knemon. What he wrote in his own will I know not. I r 
 however, died suddenly, by the fall of the roof of my 
 house upon me; and now Hermolaus holds my property 
 like some sea-wolf , 1 and has snatched away, too, the hook 
 with the bait. 
 
 Pamnippus. Not only so, but also yourself, the fisherman. 
 So that you have devised your trick against yourself. 
 
 Knemon. I seem like it. On this account it is I am 
 groaning and wailing. 
 
 IX. 
 
 POLYSTRATUS, A CENTENARIAN PLUTOCRAT, UPON ARRIVING IN 
 HADES, NARRATES TO HIS FRIEND SIMYLUS HOW, BY REASON 
 OF HIS GREAT WEALTH, HE HAD ENJOYED THE ADULATION OF 
 THE WORLD AND AN ABUNDANCE OF GIFTS FROM SPECULATING 
 FLATTERERS, AND HOW HE HAD DISAPPOINTED THEM ALL BY 
 HIS WILL. 
 
 Simylus a?icl Polystratus. 
 
 Simylus. Are you come to us at length, friend Poly¬ 
 stratus, even you, after a life, I believe, not far short of the- 
 full century ? 
 
 Poly stratus. Ninety and eight years, Simylus. 
 
 Simylus. In what manner, pray, did you live the thirty 
 years after me ? Por I died about the seventieth year of 
 your existence. 
 
 Polystratus. Exceedingly pleasantly, however strange and 
 paradoxical that shall seem to you. 
 
 Simylus. Paradoxical and strange indeed, that you, aged 
 
 1 Αάβραξ (glutton). A species of fish-cormorant, but what exactly 
 it represents in modern ichthyology is not clear. It was a common 
 synonym with the Greek comic poets for a parasite and a glutton. See 
 Athenaeus, passim. The French equivalent is loup de mer. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 103 
 
 and feeble, and childless into the bargain, were able to 
 find pleasure in life. 
 
 Polystratus. In the first place, I enjoyed universal power; 
 besides, I had many and handsome slave-boys, and very 
 elegant women, and unguents, and fragrant wine, and a more 
 than Sicilian table . 1 
 
 Simylus. Strange news to me this, for I used to think 
 you exceedingly parcimonious. 
 
 Poly stratus. Yes, but, my good friend, the good things 
 literally used to flow in upon me from the hands of others; 
 and from early morning they would come straight to my 
 doors in shoals, and afterwards all sorts of presents were 
 brought to me from every corner of the earth, the most 
 beautiful conceivable. 
 
 Simylus. Did you become an autocrat after my death, 
 Polystratus ? 
 
 Poly stratus. No, but I had ten thousand lovers. 
 
 Simylus (holding his sides'). I couldn’t help laughing. 
 You lovers, at your age, with four teeth in your head ! 
 
 Polystratus. Yes, by heavens ! the noblest in the State. 
 Even old as I was, and without a hair on my head, as you 
 see, and blear-eyed into the bargain, and my nose stuffed 
 with phlegm, they were beyond measure delighted to fawn 
 upon me ; and happy was he among them, whomsoever I 
 merely looked at even. 
 
 Simylus. You did not, too, did you, like the Phaon 2 of 
 the story, carry some Aphrodite over in your boat from 
 Chios; and then she did not grant to your prayers to be 
 young and handsome over again, and a suitable object of 
 love P 
 
 Polystratus. No; but I was the object of their eager desire, 
 just such as I am. 
 
 Simylus. You speak in riddles. 
 
 Polystratus. And yet this affection I speak of, with its 
 
 1 Proverbial expression for “ sumptuous gluttonies ” (in Milton's 
 phrase). Cf. Plato, IToAir. iii.; Hor. iii. 1 ; Macrobius, Saturnalia , vii. 5. 
 
 2 Phaon, an old and ugly boatman of Mytilene, in the island of 
 Lesbos, was metamorphosed into a young and handsome youth by 
 Aphrodite for having rowed her on one occasion over the sea, without 
 exacting his fare. His best title to immortality, however, is the love 
 of. Sappho. See Athenseus (xiii. 70), who alleges another Sappho; 
 jElian, I. Π. xii. 18.; Ov. Sappho Phaoni. 
 
104 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 extravagant display in regard to childless and wealthy old 
 gentlemen, is, surely, plain enough in its origin. 
 
 Simylus. Now I understand all about your charming 
 face, admirable Sir ! that it was from the golden Aphrodite . 1 
 
 Polystratus. However, my dear Simylus, I obtained not 
 a few enjoyments from my lovers, and was all but wor¬ 
 shipped by them, and I often behaved insolently to them, 
 and closed my doors against some of them at times ; but they 
 would contend with eager emulation, and surpass one the 
 other in their lavish expense and delicate attentions to me. 
 
 Simylus. And, at last, pray, how did you devise in regard 
 to your possessions ? 
 
 Polystratus. In public I was accustomed to declare that 
 I had left each one of them my heir; and he believed it 
 and equipped himself with more wheedling flattery than 
 ever ; but, all the time , I held in my possession the other 
 my real will, and left it behind me, with an injunction to 
 one and all of them to go to the devil. 
 
 Simylus. And whom did your last luill contain as your 
 heir ? Some one of your own family, I presume P 
 
 Poly stratus. By heaven, no, but a certain recently-pur¬ 
 chased handsome boy, a Phrygian. 
 
 Simylus. About how old, friend Polystratus ? 
 
 Polystratus. Somewhere about the age of twenty. 
 
 Simylus. Now I understand what favours he conferred 
 upon you. 
 
 Poly stratus. But, however, he was much more worthy to 
 be my heir than they, even though he was a foreigner and 
 a plague; whom even the great people themselves are 
 already courting. He, then, was my heir, and now he is 
 received among the nobles of the land (shaved though his 
 chin was , 2 and though he did not know a word of Greek), 
 and is proclaimed to be more nobly born than Kodrus, 
 handsomer than Nireus, and more prudent than Odysseus . 3 
 
 1 Χρυσής Άφροδίτίΐς. An allusion to the well-known Homeric ascrip¬ 
 tion— Ίλ. iii. 64 ; ’Oci. viii. 337. Cf. 2En. x. 16—“ Venus Aurea.” 
 
 2 In the original, νπεζυρημένος, lit. “ partly shaved.” Slaves usually 
 were made to wear the hail* of the head closely cropped. Favourite 
 slaves, minister to inf ami, were shaved on their cheeks and chin. Cf. 
 Τιμών, 22. 
 
 3 Kodrus, according to legendary Greek History, was the last king 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 105 
 
 Simylus. I don’t care about that. Let him even be 
 Generalissimo of Hellas, if they please ; but only don’t let 
 them get bis legacy. 
 
 X. 
 
 AN ALARMING NUMBER OF GHOSTS CROWD TO THE STYX. CHARON, 
 FEARING FOR HIS BOAT, DIRECTS HERMES TO SEE THAT 
 THEY WERE ENTIRELY STRIPPED OF THEIR VARIOUS INSIGNIA 
 OF POWER, RANK, WEALTH, AND THE WEIGHTY LOAD OF 
 VICES, BEFORE THEY ARE ADMITTED ON BOARD. MENIPPUS, 
 WHO IS ONE OF THE PASSENGERS, AVAILS HIMSELF OF THE 
 OPPORTUNITY FOR RIDICULING AND RAILING AT THE BEWAILING 
 GHOSTS. 
 
 Charon , Hermes, and a number of Dead Men. 
 
 Charon. Just bear a moment bow matters stand with us. 
 Our little craft, as you observe, is a small one, and it is 
 somewhat rotten, and leaks in most parts ; and, were it to 
 incline to either side, it would completely overturn and go 
 to the bottom ; and yet you come crowding together at 
 the same time, each of you carrying a lot of luggage. If, 
 then, you were to embark with all this, I am afraid that 
 you may have reason to repent later, and especially as many 
 of you as don’t know how to swim. 
 
 Dead Men. What shall we do, then, to secure a safe 
 passage ? 
 
 Charon. I will tell you. You must embark stripped of 
 everything, and leave all these superfluous things upon 
 the shore : for scarcely even so will the ferry-boat receive 
 you.—But it will be your care, Hermes, from this moment, 
 to receive none of them who should not come in light 
 inarching order, and throw away, as I said, his furniture 
 and movable property. How, take your stand near the 
 
 of Athens (cir. 1070 B.C.). In obedience to an oracle, he had saved 
 his country by getting himself killed by the enemy; and his grateful 
 subjects abolished monarchy in his honour. Cf. Cicero, Qucsst. Tusc. 
 i. 48, 116. Hor. Car. iii. 19. Nireus is celebrated in the Iliad as the 
 “handsomest man,” next to Achilleus, who marched against Ilium 
 (ii. 671-674). Cf. Ov. Ep. Ex Ponto, iv. 13, 15. Propert, Eleg. iii. 16, 27. 
 Hor. Epod. xv. 22. Nireus is often used by Lucian as the typical fop. 
 
106 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 gangway, and narrowly examine them, and help them up, 
 compelling them to embark stripped of everything. 
 
 Hermes. You say well, and so let us do.—Who is this 
 first man here r 
 
 Menippus. It is I, Menippus. There, see, Hermes, let my 
 wallet-bag and my staff be both tossed away for good into 
 your lake; and as for my tattered cloak, I have obligingly 
 not even brought it. 
 
 Hermes. Come on board, friend Menippus, best of men, 
 and take the place of precedence, by the side of the helms¬ 
 man, on deck, that you may supervise the whole of them. 
 But this handsome fellow, who is he ? 
 
 Gharmolaus. Charmolaus, of Megara, he who was so 
 much run after, whose kiss was worth two talents . 1 
 
 Hermes. So, then, pray, off with your good looks and your 
 lips with their kisses and all, and that long, flowing hair , 2 
 and the blush on your cheeks, and your entire hide. ’Tis 
 well; you are now succinctly equipped : come on board now. 
 —And you there, the gentleman with the purple robe and the 
 diadem, you with the grim countenance—who may you be? 
 
 Lampichus. Lampichus, autocrat of the Gelensians . 3 
 
 Hermes. Why, pray, Lampichus, are you here with so 
 many valuables ? 
 
 Lampichus. What, then ? Ought a prince to come stripped 
 of everything ? 
 
 Hermes. A prince, of course not—a dead man, certainly. 
 So divest yourself of these things at once. 
 
 Lampichus. There, my wealth has been cast aside, at your 
 pleasure. 
 
 1 ,£480 of Attic coinage. Whether Charmolaus here is a real or a 
 fictitious character is unknown. 
 
 2 Cf. θ. Δ. passim. Long hair was esteemed, in later times, at Athens, 
 an especial mark of effeminacy. With the Comic poets it formed a 
 frequent subject of ridicule. Aristophanes designates the dandy of the 
 period as σφραγιδονυχαργοκομητης, “a lazy, long-haii*ed exquisite with 
 rings up to his nails.” In the Homeric age, long hair was the rule. 
 
 3 Citizens of Gela, a wealthy city on the S. coast of Sicily, founded 
 in the seventh century by Krete and Rhodes together. It was the 
 metropolis (“mother city ”) of the more famous Agrigentum. Gela 
 itself is most celebrated as having held the tomb of AEschylus. Of 
 Lampichus no more is known than of Charmolaus, or Kraton ; but, if 
 (as is probable) they are either historical or poetical characters, Lucian 
 might have obtained his knowledge of them from a lost history or poem. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 107 
 
 Hermes. Cast off at once, too, your bloated pride, 
 Lampichns, and yonr superciliousness ; for, if they be 
 shipped with you, they will weigh the boat down. 
 
 Lampichus. Permit me, at all events, pray, to keep my 
 diadem and my royal mantle. 
 
 Hermes. By no means—but leave them behind too. 
 
 Lampichus. Well, what more? for I have abandoned 
 everything, as you see. 
 
 Hermes. Your cruelty and your folly, and your insolence 
 and your rage, these you must abandon as well. 
 
 Lampichus. See, I am bare of everything, at your 
 service. 
 
 Hermes. Come on board now.—Well, you fat, gross 
 fellow, you with the loads of flesh, who may you be ? 
 
 Damasias. Damasias, the athlete . 1 
 
 Hermes. Yes, so it seems ; for I know you from having 
 frequently had a look at you in the Gymnasia. 
 
 Damasias. Yes, Hermes; but take me in, now that I am 
 stripped and bare. 
 
 Hermes. Hot stripped and bare, my fine Sir, so long as 
 you are clothed in such lumps of flesh. So put them off, 
 since you will sink our craft if you put but one foot on 
 board. Yes, toss away at once, also, those crowns, and 
 the records of your publicly-proclaimed victories. 
 
 Damasias. See, I am truly and actually stripped, at your 
 service, as you see, and of equal weight with the rest of 
 the dead men. 
 
 Hermes. It is better to be thus unweighted. So come 
 on board.—And as for you, Kraton, strip yourself at once 
 of your riches, and your effeminacy besides, and your 
 luxury, and bring neither your funeral-robes 2 nor your 
 
 1 He may be the Damasias of Amphipolis, recorded as crowned a 
 victor at Olympia in the Olympiad cxv. Cf. Lucian, Λεζιφ. ii. In 
 the earlier times of the great Panhellenic “ Games,” the athletes trained, 
 we are assured, on the purest and simplest food. Pausanias (Όλ. v.) 
 records the name of the first kreophagist trainer. They became, at last, 
 synonyms for gluttons and gross feeders. -ZElian (Ίστ. Ποικ. xiv. 7.) 
 records that, on one occasion, the Spartan Ephors publicly threatened a 
 very corpulent citizen ( νπερσαρκοΰιτα και νπερπαχυν ) with severe punish¬ 
 ment if he did not alter his diet, and cease to bring shame on Sparta 
 and its laws. 
 
 2 ’Εντάφια. They were, in the case of the rich, usually of the most 
 costly kind. See Περί ΤΙένβονς, 11. 
 
108 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 ancestral dignities, but leave behind both your pride of 
 birth and vain-glory, and if ever the State by public 
 proclamation has allowed you inscriptions on your statues, 
 leave them behind too; nor bring us any story of their 
 having piled a huge tomb over you. For even the very 
 mention of these things makes a difference in the weight. 
 
 Kraton. It’s against my will; however, I will cast them 
 off ; for what can I do ? 
 
 Hermes (seeing a General in full accoutrements). Bless me! 
 And you gentleman armed cap-a-pied, what do you want ? 
 or why are you carrying this trophy ? 
 
 General. Because I gained a battle, and won the prize 
 of valour, 1 and the State did me that honour. 
 
 Hermes. Leave your trophy upon Earth ; for in Hades 
 reigns peace, and there will be no need of weapons.—But 
 this gentleman, so majestic in his dress, and who gives 
 himself such airs in it, who elevates his eyebrows, who is 
 wrapped in meditation, who is he—he, I mean, who wears 
 the long, thick beard P 2 
 
 Menippus. A species of philosopher (so-called), Hermes; 
 but rather (in fact) a juggler and a fellow stuffed full of 
 preternatural pretensions. So strip him too; for you will 
 see many and truly ridiculous things stowed away under 
 his cloak. 
 
 Hermes. Off you, in the first place, with your clothes; 
 next,with all those things there. 0 Zeus! what arrogance 
 he bears about him, and what ignorance, and disputa¬ 
 tion, and vain-glory, and useless questions, and thorny 
 argumentations, and intricate conceits! Yes, and avast 
 
 1 The Athenians were accustomed publicly to decorate the soldier 
 who had most distinguished himself in battle. The prize was a complete 
 suit of armour (πανοπλία). So Plutarch, in his Life of Alkibiades, 
 relates that Sokrates, who had saved the life and honour of his young: 
 and handsome comrade at Potidaea, and had thus deserved the άριστεϊον, 
 relinquished it to his afterwards distinguished pupil. 
 
 2 An amplitude of beard, ragged and untrimmed, was a characteristic 
 of those who most aspired to the “ philosophic ” reputation—especially 
 among the Cynics and Stoics—familiar to all readers of Lucian, and 
 it figures largely in the Greek poets of the New Comedy. One of the 
 wittiest of the productions of later Greek Satire is the Νισοπώγων of the 
 Emperor Julian, directed against the witty but licentious people of 
 Christian Antioch. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 109 “ 
 
 amount of vain labour, and trifling not a little, and non¬ 
 sense, and frivolous talk, by heaven ! ( producing the 
 
 treasures concealed under the sophist's cloalc) and gold coin 
 here, and hedonism, and shamelessness, and passion, and 
 luxury, and effeminacy. 1 lor they don’t escape my obser- 
 vation, however well you conceal them about your person. 
 [Now, off this instant with your lying, and your swollen 
 pride, and the notion that you are better than the rest of 
 the world; since, if you were to come on board witli all 
 this, what ordinary ship of war 2 would ever take you? 
 
 Philosopher. I divest myself of them, then, since you so· 
 order. 
 
 Menippus. [Nay, but let him put off, too, tliat beard,, 
 Hermes, heavy and shaggy, as you observe. There are, at 
 the least, five pounds of hair. 
 
 Hermes. You are right. Off with that also. 
 
 Philosopher. And who will be the barber ? 
 
 Hermes. Menippus here will take the ship-carpenter’s 
 axe and will chop it off, making use of the gangway as a 
 block. 
 
 Menippus. Ho, Hermes ; but hand me up a saw—for 
 that will be more entertaining. 
 
 Hermes. The axe will do.—Well done ! How that you 
 have divested yourself of your he-goatish odours, you turn 
 out more like a man. 
 
 Menippus. Do you want me to remove a little from his 
 eyebrows ? 
 
 1 Lucian, it will be observed, is even more severe upon sham philo¬ 
 sophy than upon the positive crimes and vices of the powerful and 
 wealthy—probably because, having come into nearer acquaintance with 
 the philosophic pretenders, he had frequently experienced their revenge 
 for his scornful treatment of them. 
 
 2 ΤΙεντηκοντορος. A fighting ship of fifty rowers, of the class Moneris 
 —or “ man of war,” of a single bank of oars. The largest vessels, 
 built by the Greeks, of which record is left, are those of Hiero, tyrant, 
 or prince, of Syracuse, and of the Ptolemies. One belonging to Ptolemy 
 Philopator had forty “ banks,” with dimensions of 420 ft. x 60 ft., 
 and carried 7,000 sailors and marines, besides a large number of 
 attendants, &c. The description of this and of another ship built by 
 this prince and, still more, that of Hiero’s, given in Athemeus from con¬ 
 temporary accounts—their extraordinary and extravagant equipment 
 and decoration—almost surpasses the bounds of belief. To launch the 
 latter the services of Archimedes were in requisition. See Deipn. v. 
 36-44. 
 
110 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 Hermes. By all means ; for he raises them ever above his 
 forehead, stretching himself upwards—why, I don’t know. 
 —What’s this ? Do you, indeed, weep, vile scum ! and 
 grow cowardly in face of death ? Embark, now, imme¬ 
 diately. 
 
 Menippus. One thing—the heaviest of all—he is keeping 
 under his arm-pits. 
 
 Hermes. What is it, Menippus ? 
 
 Menippus. Fawning flattery, Hermes, which has much 
 served him in his life. 
 
 Philosopher. Do you too, then, Menippus, put off your 
 freedom, and assurance, and unconcern, and self-satisfac¬ 
 tion, 1 and ridicule. Indeed, you are the only one of us all 
 to laugh. 
 
 Hermes. Don’t do anything of the kind : on the contrary, 
 retain them, for they are light and very portable, and service¬ 
 able for the passage.—And the orator, you there, off with 
 that so enormous a quantity of words and verbiage, and anti¬ 
 theses, and nice balancing of clauses, and periods, and bar¬ 
 barisms, and the rest of the heavy trappings of your orations. 
 
 Orator. Well, see, I am stripping myself of them. 
 
 Hermes. It’s well. So loose the cables; let us haul 
 up the gangway, let the anchors be weighed, unfurl the 
 sail; take the helm, ferryman. May we have a prosperous 
 voyage !—What are you groaning and lamenting about, 
 fools ; and you philosopher, in particular, who just now 
 have had your beard chopped off ? 
 
 Philosopher. Because, Hermes, I used to think that the 
 soul was immortal. 
 
 Menippus. He lies; for other matters obviously afflict 
 him. 
 
 Hermes. What sort ? 
 
 Menippus. That no longer he will partake of costly 
 dinners, nor go out at night without anyone’s knowing it, 
 w r ith his head enveloped in his cloak, and go the round of 
 the public stews ; and, from an early hour in the morning, 
 take the fees of the youths for lessons in philosophy, de¬ 
 ceiving them all the while. It is this that afflicts him. 
 
 1 To γινναΧον. Properly, “ well bred” ( y'ivva ). Here rightly trans¬ 
 lated by Wieland by zuversichtlichkeit. (Jacob.) 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 Ill 
 
 Philosoi^ier. Why, yon, Menippus, are you not grieved at 
 being dead ? 
 
 Menippus. How ? I, wdio hurried to death without any¬ 
 one’s summons ? 1 But, while we are chattering, is that 
 not some cry I hear as if of people shouting from Earth ? 
 
 Hermes. Yes, Menippus, not from one region only ; but 
 those who have met together in conclave, with pleased 
 looks, are all laughing at the death of Lampichus, while 
 his wife is seized hold of by the women, and her infants 
 likewise, young and tender as they are, are being assailed 
 by the boys with quantities of stones; and others are 
 applauding Diophantus, the orator, at Sicyon, who is de¬ 
 claiming funeral eulogies over Kraton here—and, by heaven, 
 the mother of Damasias, with wailing, is now leading 
 off the dirge for him with the women. But as for you, 
 friend Menippus, no one sheds a tear over you, and you 
 lie all alone in perfect peace. 
 
 Menippus. By no means so ; you will shortly hear the 
 dogs howling most piteously over me; and the crows 
 flapping with their wings, when they collect together to 
 bury me. 
 
 Hermes. You are a fine fellow, Menippus.—Well, since 
 we have made the passage ( addressing the passengers ), do 
 you pack off to the judge’s tribunal, proceeding by that 
 straight road there ; while I and the ferryman will go for 
 others. 
 
 Menippus. A good voyage to you, Hermes!—Well, let 
 us, too, go our way. Why, pray, are you still lingering p 
 You will most certainly have to be judged, and they say 
 that the sentences are severe—wheels, and rocks, and 
 vultures. 2 * * * * And each one’s life will be clearly revealed. 
 
 1 See Diog. Laert. Περί Βίων. κ. τ. λ. vi. 99, and Ν. Δ. i. Cf. 
 Αημώναζ, 65-66. 
 
 2 Menippus alludes, in particular, to the revolving wheel to which 
 
 Ixion (see θ. Δ. vi.) is everlastingly bound ; to the rocks which Sisyphus 
 
 vainly rolls uphill; and toTityus, whose liver is being eternally gnawed 
 
 by a vulture. Eor the fates of Tityus and Ixion, see Hor. Car. iii. 
 
 4, II. Eor Sis} 7 phus, Car. ii. 14 ; Epod. xvii. Cf. Lucretius, De Eer. 
 
 Nat. iii.; Lucian’s Ν εκυομαντεία, 14; and Plato Πολ. x. 614. 
 
112 
 
 DIALOGUES OF ΤΠΕ DEAD. 
 
 XL 
 
 KRATES AND DIOGENES, MEETING IN HADES, INDULGE THEIR 
 SATIRE ON THE SUBJECT OF THE FATES OF TWO MILLIONAIRE 
 MERCHANTS (COUSINS) WHO HAD BEEN CONSTANTLY PLOTTING, 
 IN THE USUAL MANNER, EACH FOR THE OTHER’S LEGACY, AND 
 WHO HAD BOTH PERISHED ON THE SAME DAY BY SHIPWRECK. 
 THE TWO EMINENT CYNICS CONGRATULATE THEMSELVES ON 
 THE RECOLLECTION OF THE VERY DIFFERENT CHARACTER OF 
 THEIR OWN OBJECTS IN LIFE. 
 
 Krates 1 and Diogenes. 
 
 Krates. Yon nsecl, Diogenes, to know Moerichus, the 
 rich fellow, the millionaire—him of Korinth, who owned 
 those numerous merchant-ships; whose cousin was Aris- 
 teas, himself, too, a plutocrat, who used to quote that 
 verse of Homer :— 
 
 “ Let one or other lift his man.’’ 2 
 
 Diogenes. Why, Krates P 
 
 Krates. They used to court and wheedle one the other 
 for the sake of the expected legacy (being of the same age), 
 and publicly registered their wills ; Moerichus, if he should 
 die first, leaving Aristeas master of all his property, and 
 Aristeas Moerichus, should he predecease the other. Such 
 
 1 A distinguished follower of Diogenes of Sinope. He had abandoned 
 a large fortune in order to attach himself to the doctrines and practice of 
 the School of Antisthenes. Like his master, he lived upon the most 
 strictly frugal fare : in which abstinent living he was not surpassed by 
 Epikurus himself, or, perhaps, by any Christian ascetic of later ages. 
 His marriage was somewhat romantic. His wife, Hipparehia, who 
 belonged to an aristocratic family, had united her fate with his, in spite 
 of great opposition from her friends; and even declared her resolve to kill 
 herself, if they refused consent. Krates, who left behind him some 
 writings, now lost, lived in the fourth century. See Diog. Laert. 
 
 2 *Η μ’όνάεψ’ ?/ εγώ σε. Lit. “ Either do you lift me up, or I will you.” 
 The speech of Telamonian Aias to Odysseus, in the wrestling encounter 
 between the two heroes. See T\. xxiii. 724. The version above is 
 quoted from Prof. Newman’s Iliad of Homer. The application of the 
 Homeric verse by Aristeas is obvious. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 113 
 
 were the terms of the wills ; while they were accustomed 
 to surpass one the other in their mutual wheedling and 
 flattery. The prophets, both those who divine the future 
 from the stars, and those who divine from dreams, like the 
 disciples of the Chaldteans—nay, even the Pythian himself 
 —offered the victory now to Aristeas, now to Mcerichus ; 
 and the scales were for inclining at one time in favour of 
 the latter, and now again for the former. 
 
 Diogenes. What, pray, was the end of it, Krates ? For 
 it is worth hearing. 
 
 Krates. Both have died on one and the same day, and 
 the properties devolved unexpectedly upon Eunomius and 
 Thrasykles—both relatives—who never even dreamed that 
 this would happen. For, sailing across from Sikyon to 
 Kirrha, 1 about the middle of the passage, they were over¬ 
 taken by the west-north-west wind across their bows, and 
 they were wrecked and lost. 
 
 Diogenes. It was very kind of them. Well, as for us, 
 when we were in life, we entertained no such designs in 
 regard to one another ; neither did I ever pray for the 
 death of Antisthenes, that I might inherit his staff—and 
 he used to have a pretty strong one, which he made for 
 himself of wild olive; 2 nor, I imagine, did you , Krates, 
 eagerly desire to inherit my possessions at my death—my 
 tub and my wallet, which held two quarts of lupines. 
 
 Krates. No, for I had no need of them ; neither had 
 you, Diogenes : for what we needed, you inherited from 
 Antisthenes, and I from you, possessions far better and 
 more respectable than all the power of the Persians. 
 
 Diogenes. What are these possessions you speak of ? 
 
 Krates. Wisdom, self-sufficiency, truth, plain-speaking, 
 freedom. 
 
 Diogenes. By my faith, yes. I remember also, that, 
 having received this wealth in succession from Antisthenes, 
 I left behind to you, in fact, still more. 
 
 1 Sikyon, near Korintli; Kirrha, a port of Phokis; both in the 
 Korinthian Gulf. For the wind called Iapyx, see Hor. Car. i. 3, iii. 27 ; 
 Virg. 2En. viii. 710. 
 
 2 Diogenes had reason to remember this fact. Upon his first ap¬ 
 proaching the founder of Cynicism, Antisthenes, we are informed, drove 
 him away with blows from this same stick. 
 
 I 
 
114 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 Krates. However, the rest of the world used to despise 
 such kind of possessions, and no one of them courted us, 
 looking to obtain our legacies ; but they all directed their 
 looks to the gold coin. 
 
 Diogenes. With good reason; for they had not where 
 they could receive from us and stow away such possessions, 
 gradually leaking and wasting away, as they were, under 
 the influence of luxury, like rotten pouches. So that, if 
 even one were to put into them either wisdom, or plainness 
 of speech, or truth, it would immediately escape and run 
 through, the bottom of the vessel not being able to hold it 
 in; something like what the daughters of Danaus, those 
 famous maidens, experience when they draw water in their 
 perforated pitcher : while as for the gold, they used to 
 guard it with tooth and nail, and every possible con¬ 
 trivance. 
 
 Krates. Accordingly, use shall possess our wealth even 
 here, while they will arrive carrying an obolus with them, 
 and even that as far only as their ferryman. 
 
 XII. 
 
 ALEXANDER OF MACEDON AND HANNIBAL, QUARRELLING FOR 
 PRECEDENCE, SUBMIT THE ARBITRAMENT OF THEIR CAUSE 
 TO MINOS. EACH RECOUNTS HIS EXPLOITS. SCIPIO, THE 
 CONQUEROR OF CARTHAGE, INTERVENES, AND PRONOUNCES 
 IN FAVOUR OF ALEXANDER, CLAIMING THE SECOND PLACE 
 FOR HIMSELF, AND ASSIGNING THE THIRD PLACE TO HAN¬ 
 NIBAL. 
 
 Alexander, Hannibal, Minos, and Scipio. 
 
 Alexander. I ought to be preferred to you, you Libyan, 
 for I am superior to you. 
 
 Hannibal. No, indeed; rather, I ought to have the 
 precedence. 
 
 Alexander. Let Minos decide then ( appealing to that 
 judge). 
 
 Minos. But who are you ? 
 
 Alexander. This is Hannibal of Carthage, and I am 
 Alexander, the son of Philip. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 115 
 
 Minos. Upon my word, illustrious, both of you ! But 
 what is your quarrel about ? 
 
 Alexander. About precedence ; for this fellow affirms 
 that he was a better general than I; whereas I affirm that 
 I surpass not only him, as every one knows, but almost 
 all who have lived before me, in the arts of war. 
 
 Minos. Then let each speak in his turn. 1 And do you 
 of Libya, be the first to speak. 
 
 Hannibal. In respect to this one circumstance, Minos, I 
 derive much satisfaction—that while here I have thoroughly 
 mastered the Greek language; 2 so that not even in that 
 particular can he have any advantage over me. Now, 
 I affirm that those men are most deserving of eulogy, 
 who, though nothing at starting, none the less arrived at 
 great eminence, by their own efforts investing themselves 
 with power, and being deemed worthy of governing. 
 Well, though I set out with few soldiers for Spain, at first 
 being subordinate to my brother, I was judged to be the 
 most skilful in war, and was deemed fit for the highest 
 employments; and I subdued the Keltiberians, and con¬ 
 quered the Gauls of the West; and, crossing the vast moun¬ 
 tains, 3 I overran all the plains of the Padus, and laid in 
 ruins so many cities, and subjected to my power the whole 
 plain of Italy, and advanced as far as the suburbs of its 
 Capital city, and slew such numbers on one day that I 
 measured off their rings by bushels, 4 and bridged their 
 rivers with the dead. And all this I accomplished with¬ 
 out either getting myself called the son of Ammon, or 
 
 1 Cf. the K αίσαρες of the Emperor Julian. 
 
 2 According to the testimony of the Latin historian, Cornelius Nepos, 
 or Probus (as the case may be), Hannibal was so well versed in the 
 Greek language as to have composed several works in it ( Vita Excel, 
 buyer .'); so that Lucian, if the collocation of the words in the text is 
 his own, as Hemsterhuis observes, does not do justice to the great com¬ 
 mander’s learning. Gesner proposed a slight transposition of the text, 
 more in accord with the facts. 
 
 3 See Livy, Hist. Rom. xxi. 35-37 ; Plutarch, Βίοι Π«ρ. The satire 
 of Juvenal (x. 166) on this memorable exploit is well known :— 
 
 “ I, demens, et stevas curre per Alpes 
 Ut placeas pueris et declamatio fias!” 
 
 4 According to some historians, the number of the gold rings of the 
 Ifoman officers killed at Cannte amounted to several bushels. Livy 
 
116 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 making claim to divinity, or recounting my mother’s 
 •dreams ; 1 but acknowledging myself to be human; and 
 putting myself in competition with the most skilful 
 generals, and engaging with the most warlike soldiers in 
 the world—not contending against Medes and Armenians, 
 who seek refuge in flight before any one pursues, and yield 
 the victory at once to the bold aggressor. Alexander, on 
 the other hand, enlarged a dominion which he had re¬ 
 ceived from his father, and extended it considerably by 
 availing himself of the start given him by Fortune. But, 
 when he had gained the victory over and vanquished at 
 Issus and Arbela 2 that wretched pest Dareius, revolting 
 from the customs of his ancestors, he began to put forth 
 claims to divine worship, and changed his way of life to 
 the Median mode ; and polluted his hands in the blood of 
 his friends at his banquets, and seized them for the pur¬ 
 pose of putting them to death. 3 Whereas I ruled my 
 country upon terms of equality with my fellow-citizens, and 
 when it summoned me to its aid, on the sailing of the 
 enemy to Libya with a great armament, I obeyed with 
 
 inclines to one bushel only (xxiii. 12). To compare great things with 
 small, Cannm was the “ Battle of the Spurs ” of modern times, as far as 
 similarity of spoil is concerned. 
 
 1 The young King of Macedon was first saluted by the Egyptian 
 priests as the son of Zeus Ammon (Amun), one of the divinities of the 
 Egyptian theology, upon his visit to the oracular temple in the oasis of 
 the African desert. See Arrian, Άνάβασις Άλεξ., and Plutarch. For 
 the dream of Olympias, see Plutarch, Άλεξ. ii. 
 
 2 The battle of Issus (b.c. 333) was fought near the city of that 
 name in the extreme south-east of Cilicia, on the confines of Syria and 
 the Lesser Asia. The Macedonians owed the victory as much to the 
 unwieldy and heterogeneous masses of the enemy as to their own 
 prowess. One of the finest of mosaics of ancient Greek art describes 
 this subject. It was found in a mutilated state at Pompeii; and is sup¬ 
 posed to be a copy of a painting of Apelles. The second great over¬ 
 throw took place at Gaugamela. 
 
 3 The friends and attendants of Alexander who fell victims to his intem¬ 
 perate fits of passion, or to his suspicions well or ill-founded, were Parme- 
 nion, to whose skill he owed, in great measure, his chief victories, and 
 his son Philotus; Kleitus, his intimate friend and companion, who had 
 saved ms iite at the battle of the Granikus, whom he murdered in a 
 fit of intoxication at Baktra ; his page, Hermolaus, who, with other 
 alienated or disgusted Macedonians, had conspired against his master, 
 in revenge for a public indignity ; and Kleisthenes, a pupil of Aristotle. 
 See Plutarch, Άλεξ. 49-55. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 117 
 
 speed, 1 and offered myself as a private citizen ; and after 
 condemnation, I bore the matter with good will. These 
 achievements I performed, non-Greek as I was, and nn- 
 instructed by a Greek education; neither reciting and de¬ 
 claiming Homer, 2 as he did, nor educated under Aristotle, 
 that famous sophist; but availing myself of my natural 
 good qualities alone. These are the points as to which I 
 maintain that I am superior to Alexander. And, if this 
 fellow has a handsomer appearance, because he was accus¬ 
 tomed to encircle his brows with the diadem—with Mace¬ 
 donians, doubtless, those things are objects of veneration 
 —he surely should not on that account be thought superior 
 to a man of genuine nobility and of true military capacity, 
 who owed more to his judgment than to fortune. 
 
 Minos. He has delivered no ignoble plea, and one not such 
 as it was likely a Libyan would, on his own behalf. How, 
 you, Alexander, what do you say to these arguments P 
 
 Alexander. I ought, Minos, to make no reply at all to so 
 impudent a man ; for Fame is quite enough to instruct 
 you what a king I was, and what a mere brigand 3 he was. 
 However, just consider if it is by a small difference I 
 surpass him—I who while yet a mere youth entered upon 
 public business, and became master of a kingdom all in a 
 state of confusion, and pursued and punished my father’s 
 
 1 When the Eomans, under the elder Scipio, carried the war into 
 Africa, which resulted in their decisive victory at Zama, 202 B.c., 
 Hannibal was driven from his country by a hostile faction, with 
 Homan co-operation. 
 
 2 Cf. Plutarch. Dion Chrysostom says that Alexander knew by 
 heart the whole of the Iliad , and many parts of the Odyssey (Λόγοι iv.). 
 His great exemplar and admiration was the hero of the Iliad, Achilleus, 
 whose ideal form and features were infused into his portraits by his 
 laureate-painter, Apelles. As for the character of Hannibal, Valerius 
 Maximus allows to the great enemy of Rome some virtues, for “ humani- 
 tatis dulcedo etiam in efferata barbarorum ingenia penetrat” ( J)e 
 Factis, &c., v. 1). 
 
 3 There were not wanting, as Hemsterhuis reminds us, some who 
 attached this title to the father of the conqueror of the Persian Empire him¬ 
 self. Demosthenes publicly stigmatized him as the \y στης των'Ελλήνων 
 (Φιλ. iv.), just as, in later times, there were some who characterized the 
 Roman generals and armies as “ latrones, communisque omnium liber- 
 tatis raptores.” Seneca assigns the same character to Alexander— latro 
 gentiumque vastator, $c. Be Bt?ieficiis , i. 13. Cf. Be Benef. v. 6. 
 
118 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 assassins ; and then, by the total destruction of Thebes 
 having terrorized all Hellas, and having been elected by 
 them to the command-in-cliief, I did not think fit to confine 
 my cares to my Macedonian dominions, and to be content 
 to rule over what my father had left behind him ; but, 
 extending my thoughts to the whole Earth, and thinking 
 it intolerable if I should not become master of the world, 
 with a few soldiers I invaded Asia ; and at the Granikus I 
 gained a great battle ; and seizing upon Lydia, Ionia, and 
 Phrygia, and, in fine, conquering in succession everything 
 in my way, I advanced to Issus, where Dareius awaited me 
 with an army of many myriads. From that time, Minos, 
 you know how many dead I sent below to you on one day; 
 at all events, the Ferryman says that his boat did not 
 suffice, at that time, for them, but that the majority of them 
 constructed rafts for themselves, and so made the passage. 
 And this I accomplished by being foremost in danger 
 myself, and deeming it glorious to get myself wounded. 
 Not to recount to you my exploits at Tyre, or at Al-bela, 
 not only all that , but I advanced as far as the Indians, and 
 made for myself the Ocean the boundary of my empire ; 
 and I captured their elephants, and worsted Porus. And 
 as for the Scythians, not a people to be despised with 
 impunity, I crossed the Don and conquered them in a 
 great cavalry battle. And I conferred benefits on my 
 friends, and avenged myself on my enemies ; and, if I 
 appeared to men to be indeed divine, they are to be excused, 
 in consideration of the greatness of my actions, for believing 
 something of the kind about me. Finally, I died while 
 yet a king, whereas this fellow died in exile at the court 
 of Prusias of Bithynia, as it was right a man of the greatest 
 villainy and cruelty should. For hoiv he conquered the 
 Italians I omit to say—that he did not do it by force, but 
 by corruption, and not keeping faith, 1 and by stratagems ; 
 nothing according to the usages of war or above-board. 
 And, as for his reproaching me with luxury, I think he has 
 forgotten entirely what he was accustomed to do in Capua, 
 living with ladies of the demi-monde, and, admirable General, 
 wasting in pleasures the opportunities of war. I, on the 
 
 1 “ Punica fides ” became proverbial with the Romans, but Romana 
 fides , perhaps, would have been equally forcible. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 119 
 
 other hand, if I had not esteemed the affairs of the West a 
 small matter, and made my first attacks, rather, on the 
 side of the East, what great achievement could I have 
 done—seizing, without shedding a drop of blood, upon 
 Italy, and subjecting to my power Libya and the continent 
 as far as Grades ? No; those parts of the world seemed to 
 me not worth fighting for, being already cowed and 
 acknowledging a master. I have said. Now do you, 
 Minos, judge; for, out of many facts, these are quite 
 enough to decide by. 
 
 Scipio. Not before you have heard me, too. 
 
 Minos. Why, who are you, my fine Sir ? or as what 
 countryman will you speak ? 
 
 Scipio. An Italian; 1 Scipio, the general who razed 
 Carthage, and conquered the Libyans in great battles. 
 
 Minos. What, pray, would you say ? 
 
 Scipio. That I am inferior, indeed, to Alexander, but 
 superior to Hannibal—I who vanquished and pursued him, 
 and forced him to a disgraceful flight. How, then, is this 
 fellow not ashamed to contend in rivalry with Alexander, 
 with whom not even I, Scipio, his conqueror, claim to put 
 myself in comparison P 
 
 Minos. By my faith, you speak the words of reason, 
 Scipio; so let Alexander be judged to be first, next to him 
 come you ; then, by your leave, follows Hannibal third; 
 for neither is he to be despised with impunity. 2 
 
 1 Ίταλιώτης. Properly a Greek resident in Italy ; but sometimes, as 
 here, used for ’Ιταλός —an Italian. 
 
 2 In the ’Αληθής 'Ιστορία, one of the wittiest and most entertaining 
 of the works of Lucian, and the original of so many other satirical 
 romances, Alexander and Hannibal are again introduced to us con¬ 
 tending for precedence, in their posthumous existence, in the Island of 
 the Blessed. On this occasion Rhadamanthys, who is the judge, assigns 
 the first place, also, to the conqueror of Dareius, on a throne by the 
 side of the founder of the Persian monarchy. Scipio does not figure in 
 this scene; and it is a curious fact that no Roman is admitted into 
 Lucian’s Elysium. By Livy (xxxv. 14) Hannibal is represented as 
 much more modest than he appears in this Dialogue ; for, in reply 
 to a question of Scipio, he pronounces Alexander to be the first of 
 military commanders, Pyrrhus, King of Epeirus, second, and himself 
 third ; although, if he had been so fortunate as to conquer his ques¬ 
 tioner, as he had the other Roman generals, he would not have hesitated 
 to give the precedence to himself. Cf. Appian, 'Ιστ. Ρωμ. xi. In 
 
120 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 XIII. 
 
 DIOGENES JEERS AT ALEXANDER OF MACEDON FOR niS LATE 
 PRETENSIONS TO DIVINITY, AT THE SAME TIME SATIRIZING 
 THE SERVILE ATTITUDE OF THE CONQUERED GREEK STATES 
 TOWARDS HIM. HE PROCEEDS TO REMIND THE ARROGANT 
 CONQUEROR OF ALL HIS VAIN POWER AND GLORY, AND 
 CASTS LARGE PART OF THE BLAME ON ALEXANDER’S PRE¬ 
 CEPTOR ARISTOTLE, FOR FLATTERING AND FOSTERING THE 
 PRIDE AND AMBITION OF HIS PUPIL. DIOGENES, FINALLY, 
 RECOMMENDS THE DEAD POTENTATE TO DRINK THE WATERS 
 OF THE RIVER LETHE. 
 
 Diogenes and Alexander. 
 
 Diogenes. What’s this, Alexander ? Have you, too, died, 
 like the rest of us ? 
 
 Alexander. You see for yourself it is so, Diogenes: but 
 it is nothing strange if, man as I was, I am dead. 
 
 Diogenes. Then Ammon lied in saying that you were his 
 son, while, in fact, you were Philip’s P 1 
 
 Alexander. Philip’s undoubtedly; for had I been 
 Ammon’s, I should not have died. 
 
 Diogenes. Yet similar 2 stories used to be told of Olympias 
 —that a serpent visited her, and was seen in her bed; that 
 
 the K αίσαρες of Julian, Alexander is put in comparison with the 
 “Divine Julius.” It is worth notice that the great Roman satirist, who 
 makes frequent use of the name of the arch-enemy of Rome, selects him 
 as an example, κάτ Ιζόχην, of the nothingness of human glory : 
 
 “ Expende Hannibalem: quot libras in duce summo 
 Invenies ? ” 
 
 Fontenelle, the most famous modern imitator of Lucian’s Dialogues of 
 the Dead, has imitated this Dialogue in his Jules Cesar et Charles XII. 
 (Dialogues des Morts). 
 
 1 According to Plutarch, it was the ignorance of Greek on the part 
 of the priests of Ammon which assigned to him a divine father. In¬ 
 tending to greet him with the words Τ Ω παιδίον, they addressed him as 
 Ώ 7Γ ai Αίος (son of Zeus) a slight verbal error, which Alexander was 
 not anxious to correct. 
 
 2 Hemsterhuis would substitute for ομυια of the received text οποία 
 (gualia). As for the prodigy of the Serpent, Scipio Africanus aspired 
 to the same semi-reptile origin. Livy, xxvi. 19. Cf. iElian, Περί 
 Ζώων. xii. 30. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 121 
 
 then you were born from, sucb intercourse, and tbat Philip 
 was altogether deceived in supposing you were of his 
 begetting. 
 
 Alexander. I, too, like you, used to hear these tales ; but 
 now I see that neither my mother nor the Ammonian 
 prophets spoke at all rationally. 
 
 Diogenes. But their lie was not unserviceable to you, 
 Alexander, in regard to your exploits ; for many were 
 cowed, under the impression that you were a God. But, 
 tell me, to whom have you left behind this so great empire 
 of yours ? 
 
 Alexander. I don’t know, Diogenes ; for I had not made 
 any arrangements about it beforehand, or only this much 
 —that on my death-bed I gave over my ring to Per- 
 dikkas . 1 But, however, why do you laugh, Diogenes ? 
 
 Diogenes. Why, at what else than the recollection of the 
 doings of Hellas, that servilely flattered you, who had but 
 just succeeded to the throne, and elected you to the hege¬ 
 mony and command-in-chief against the foreigners. And 
 some even added you to the twelve principal deities , 2 both 
 building to you temples and sacrificing to you as to a 
 Serpent’s son ! But, tell me, where did the Macedonians 
 bury you P 
 
 Alexander. I am still lying in Babylon, after three days, 
 unburied; but Ptolenneus, of my foot-guards, promises, if 
 ever he has leisure from the troubles immediately before 
 him, to carry me away to Egypt and bury me there, so that 
 I may become one of the Egyptian divinities. 
 
 1 One of the principal generals of Alexander. Appointed to the 
 regency, and trusting to this mark of confidence on the part of his 
 dying master, he laid claim to the supremacy. He was defeated, and 
 slain by his own troops, in Egypt, while making war on Ptolemmus 
 Soter, 321 b.c. 
 
 2 The DU Majorcs, as they were called in the Latin theology, who, in 
 the Homeric and Hesiodic theogony, occupy, as the third dynasty, the 
 summits of Mount Olympus. See Plutarch's fine reflection upon the 
 perverse titidar ambition of the kings and conquerors. Eulogizing the 
 just moderation of Aristeides, he remarks :~^'θθεν άνήρ πένης καί 
 δημοτικός εκτησατο την βασιλικωτάτην και θειοτάτην προση~γορίαν—τον 
 Δι καιον. "Ο των βασιλέων καί τυράννων ονδείς εζηλωσεν, άλλά Πολί- 
 οοκηταί καί Κεραυνοί καί ΊΧικάτομες, ενιοι δ’ ’Αετοί καί 'Ιέρακες εχαιρον 
 προσηγορεοόμενοι' την άττό της βίας καί της δννάρεως, ιός εοικε, μάλλον η 
 την από της άρετης δόζαν άγαπώντες (Βίοι ΤΙαρ. Μ Αριστ.). 
 
122 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 Diogenes. May I not, pray, be excused for laughing*, 
 Alexander, at seeing you even in Hades still playing the 
 fool, and expecting to become an Anubis or Osiris ? But, 
 however, don't for a moment expect it, most respectable of 
 godships ; for it is not allowed to any of those who have 
 once crossed the Lake, and passed within this side of the 
 mouth of the Cavern , to go back up to Earth. For HCakus 
 is not so careless, nor is Kerberus so easily to be despised. 
 However, I would gladly learn this from you—how you 
 endure, whenever you reflect upon it, the thought of how 
 much happiness you have left behind, above ground, to 
 come here — body-guards, your picked corps of shield- 
 bearers , 1 and satraps, and gold in such heaps, and adoring 
 nations, and Babylon and Baktra, and the huge elephants, 
 and honour, and glory, and the riding in your chariot with 
 all the insignia of your rank, with your head encircled with 
 a w T hite fillet , 2 arrayed in a brooch-fastened purple robe. 
 Do not these things cause you grief, when they recur to 
 your memory ?—Why do you weep, fool P Did not the 
 wise Aristotle instruct you even so much as that—not to 
 suppose the gifts of Fortune to last for ever ? 
 
 Alexander. He wise, who was the most inveterate of all 
 flatterers ? 3 Just let me alone for having some know- 
 
 1 Υπασπιστής. The name given to the select body-guard of foot 
 soldiers formed by Alexander. They numbered 3,000 men, and acted 
 a considerable part in the achievements of the Macedonian army. Their 
 splendid shields gave them their distinguishing name. Besides these 
 were a body-guard called Argyraspids, “ with the silver shields.” But 
 the most magnificent “ household-troops ” were the “ horse-guards,” 
 1,200 in number, in imitation of the Persian ‘‘Immortals.” 
 
 2 T aiv'ia. The original form of the diadem. A narrow band of white 
 wool, worn by the Persian monarchs round the tiara. Cf. Xenophon, 
 Κυροπαιδεία, viii. 3 ; Arrian, Άνάβασις, vii. 22. In Greek dress, it was 
 the narrow band worn by women under the bosom, beneath the chiton. 
 See Becker, Charicles. 
 
 3 Plutarch quotes letters from Alexander to Antipater and Kassander, 
 in which the pupil of the Stageirite charges his former preceptor with 
 the same courtier-like behaviour. As for the charge of extorting large 
 sums of money, the great natural philosopher expended at least a great 
 part of the gift in making his great Zoological Collection, the outcome 
 of which is preserved to us in his Ζώων T στόμια. Cf. the Πράσις Βίων. 
 For the Τάγαθόν, ( stimmum bonnm ), see Plato Πολ. vi; and cf. Cicero, 
 Dc Fin. v. 6., &c. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 123 
 
 ledge of tlie character of Aristotle—how many things he 
 begged of me, what sort of letters he sent me, and how he 
 abused my zeal for learning, cajoling and eulogizing me 
 now for my beauty (as though that, too, were a part of 
 “the summum bonum ”), and now for my actions and 
 riches ; for, indeed, he was used to consider that, also, “ a 
 good,” so that he did not blush, even himself, to take it— 
 a juggling fellow, Diogenes, and a crafty trickster. But, 
 however, this benefit I have gained from his philosophy 
 —to be grieved at the loss of those things as the greatest 
 “goods,” which you but just now enumerated . 1 
 
 Diogenes. Well, know you what you should do ? I will 
 suggest to you a remedy for your grief. Since hellebore 2 
 does not grow hereabouts, do you, at least, even gulp 
 down and drink with wide-opened mouth forthwith the 
 waters of Lethe, and drink again and often; for thus 
 will you cease to be troubled at “ the goods ” of Aristotle. 
 —Why, really, I see the Kleitus you knoiv about , and 
 Kallisthenes, and many others rushing towards you, as 
 though they would tear you in pieces, and wreak their 
 vengeance upon you for what you did to them. So step 
 off you by this other path, and ['shouting after him] drink 
 often, as I told you. 
 
 1 Plutarch quotes a letter from Alexander to Aristotle, in which he 
 finds fault with him for publishing to the world his esoteric teaching 
 (τονς ακροαματικούς των Χόγων), and so depriving him of the sole pos¬ 
 session of such lucubrations. 
 
 2 A plant which grew, in particular, in two places—Anticyra, a small 
 island off Phokis, and Anticyra in Thessaly—hence often used as syno¬ 
 nyms for hellebore itself—having reputation in Greece and Italy as a 
 specific for madness, and recommended by the authority of Hippokrates. 
 Cf. Aristoph. Σφήκες, 1489; the poets of the New Comedy, passim; 
 Strabo, ix. ; Pliny, Hist. Nat. xxv. 5 ; Plautus, Pseuclolns, iv. 7 ; Persius, 
 Sat. iii. 63, iv. 16, v. 100; Juv. Sat. xiii. 96, 97 ; Hor. Sat. ii. 3, Epist. 
 ii. 2 ; Lucian, passim. 
 
124 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 XIV. 
 
 PHILIP, KING OF MACEDON, RIDICULES HIS SON ALEXANDER’S 
 
 ABSURD ARROGANCE IN CLAIMING TO BE THE SON OF AMMON, 
 
 AND CALLS IN QUESTION THE GREATNESS OF HIS MILITARY 
 
 ACHIEVEMENTS. ALEXANDER DEFENDS HIMSELF. 
 
 Philip and Alexander. 
 
 Philip. Now then, Alexander, yon will not be for deny¬ 
 ing that you are my son; for, had you been Ammon’s, you 
 had not died. 
 
 Alexander. Nor was I myself ignorant, father, that I am 
 the son of Philip and grandson of Amyntas; but I accepted 
 the oracle as supposing it to be of service to the success of 
 my undertakings. 
 
 Philip. What do you say ? Did it appear to you to 
 be of advantage—the giving yourself up to be deceived 
 out-and-out by the prophets P 
 
 Alexander. Not that; but the non-Greeks were struck 
 with consternation, and not one of them any longer re¬ 
 sisted, thinking that they were fighting with a divine 
 being; so that I kept gaining victories over them with the 
 greater ease. 
 
 Philip. And what people worth fighting with did you 
 gain victories over, you who always came into conflict with 
 cowards, defending themselves with miserable bows and 
 paltry light shields, and Persian bucklers of osier-twigs ? 1 
 To conquer Hellenes—Boeotians, Phokians, and Athenians 
 —was an achievement, and to utterly defeat the heavy¬ 
 armed troops of Arkadia, and the Thessalian cavalry, and 
 the javelin-armed soldiers of Elis, and the Mantineian 
 
 1 Πίλτάρια και γίρρα οίσνϊνα. The ΠέΑται were alight kind of shield 
 covered with leather, adopted from the Thracians by Iphikrates, the 
 famous Athenian military commander, about 390 b.c. With his pel- 
 tasts Iphikrates gained some decided victories over the heavily-armed 
 Spartans. The γίρρον, also, was a light, wicker-made shield, oblong in 
 shape, and covered with ox-hide, used chiefly by the Persian troops. 
 See Hex*od. vii. 75; Xen. K υροπ. vii. I, 33. 
 
DIALOGUES OP THE DEAD. 
 
 125 
 
 peltasts, or Thracians, or Illyrians, or Poeonians—those 
 were great deeds . 1 But as for Medes, and Persians, and 
 Babylonians, and gold-equipped and effeminate soldiers, do· 
 you not know that ten thousand men, who marched up with 
 Klearchus, vanquished them before your time ; while they 
 did not endure even so much as to come to close conflict,, 
 but fled before an arrow reached them ? 
 
 Alexander . But the Scythians, father, and the elephants, 
 of the Hindus was not a kind of work to be lightly despised. 
 And yet, without stirring up dissensions among them, or 
 purchasing my victories with treasons, I got the mastery 
 over them; nor did I ever perjure myself, or falsify my 
 promise, or commit any breach of faith for the sake of 
 conquest. And, as regards the Hellenes, while some I 
 received under my dominion without bloodshed, as for the· 
 Thebans, you probably know by report how I punished 
 them. 
 
 Philip. I know all this ; for Kleitus brought me word, 
 whom you murdered with your own hand while at dinner 
 by running him through with a hunting-spear, because he 
 dared to eulogize me by comparison with your deeds. Well, 
 you threw aside the Macedonian short cloak and exchanged 
 it, as they say, for the Persian flowing robe , 2 3 and put on 
 your head the towering tiara, and claimed divine honours 
 from the Macedonians, from free people,—and the most 
 ridiculous circumstance of all,—yon were accustomed to 
 imitate the manners of the conquered ! I omit to mention 
 all your other bad actions,—your shutting up men of cul¬ 
 ture with lions ,' 1 and contracting marriages of such a kind 
 
 1 Philip refers to his own military exploits. He owed, however, as 
 much to gold as to steel. See the Λ oyot of Demosthenes. Cf. Hor. 
 Car. iii. 16. 
 
 2 The χλάμνς was worn originally, or chiefly, by horsemen. The 
 κάνΰνς of the Persians was a thoroughly oriental sort of dress. The 
 chlamys, adopted from the Macedonians, was put on by the Athenian 
 when he had attained the age of an epkebus. See Plutarch, ’Λλεξ. 45. 
 
 3 A rhetorical exaggeration, if not altogether a myth. Several 
 writers have recorded the story of the imprisonment of Lysimachus 
 (one of the most distinguished of the Macedonian generals, who after¬ 
 wards possessed himself of the dominions of Alexander) in a lion’s 
 den. They assert that, like his anti-type Richard “ Cceur de Lion,” 
 he killed the wild beast by his natural arms alone, and in consequence 
 
126 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 as you did , 1 and entertaining an excessive affection for 
 Hepbtestion . 2 One circumstance only that I have heard I 
 commend—your keeping your hands off the wife of Dareius, 
 who was a beautiful woman, and your taking care of his 
 mother and his daughters : for that was conduct becoming 
 a prince. 
 
 Alexander. But my eagerness to incur dangers, father, do 
 you not praise, and the fact that at Oxydrakse I was the 
 first to leap down within the fortifications, and received so 
 many wounds ? 3 
 
 Philip. I don’t commend this conduct, Alexander, not 
 because I don’t think it to be honourable for the king 
 sometimes to get wounded, and to incur danger on behalf of 
 his army, but because such conduct least of all suited your 
 character. For if, with the reputation of being divine, 
 you had ever received a wound, and they had seen you 
 carried out of the battle in a litter, flowing with blood, 
 groaning by reason of the pain from the wound, that had 
 been subject for ridicule to the spectators, how even 
 
 of this display of courage was pardoned by his king. Curtius ( De Rebus 
 Gestis Alex, viii.) assigns the origin of the legend to an encounter of 
 Lysimac-hus with a lion of heroic size in Syria. Justin (Hist. Philip , 
 xv. 3), a later writer, credits the more sensational account. 
 
 1 With Roxana, the Baktrian princess, captured in the Fort of Sog- 
 diana (327 B.C.). His second wife, Stateira, a daughter of the Persian 
 king Dareius, was afterwards treacherously murdered at Babylon by 
 her rival Roxana, who herself, with her son, was murdered by Kassander 
 in 311 B.c. 
 
 2 A native of Pella in Macedonia, one of the two especial “ favourites ” 
 of Alexander, with whom he had been brought up as a foster-brother. 
 He died at Ekbatana, in 325. The extravagance of the grief and 
 mourning of Alexander is well known. Horses were shorn, the Avails 
 of cities pulled down, and the physician whose accidental neglect had 
 caused or hastened the favourite’s death was crucified. Upon his tomb 
 10,000 talents (about two millions and a half) were expended. The 
 other chief favourite, Kraterus, between whom and Hepha^stion fre¬ 
 quent quarrels arose, as related by Plutarch (’Αλέξανδρος) served as a 
 principal medium between his royal patron and the Macedonian officers, 
 as Hephaestion for the Orientals. 
 
 3 Oxydrakai, a people of Hindustan inhabiting what is now called the 
 Punjaub. Arrian (vi. 11) rejects the story. Diodorus and Plutarch 
 join together the Malli and Oxydrakse on the occasion. Plutarch tells 
 us that the breaking of the scaling-ladder forced Alexander to leap 
 down into the midst of the enemy, who were so much alarmed by the 
 flashing of bis armour that they took to flight. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 127 
 
 Ammon had been convicted of being a mere juggler and 
 false prophet, and the prophets of being mere flatterers. 
 Or who would not have laughed at seeing the son of Zeus 
 swooning, begging the aid of his physicians ? For now, 
 when you are dead in fact, do you not suppose there are 
 many who make cutting sarcasms upon that pretension of 
 yours, w r hen they see the corpse of the god lying stretched 
 out, already clammy w T ith decay and swollen out, according 
 to the law of all bodies P Besides, even that, which you 
 were saying was of service to you, Alexander, the fact of 
 your easily conquering by this means—it deprived you of 
 much of the glory of your actual successes; for, thought 
 to be achieved by a divine being, anything would appear 
 to fall short of what it ought to have been. 
 
 Alexander. These are not the thoughts men have about 
 me—on the contrary, they put me in rivalry with Herakles 
 and Dionysus ; 1 indeed, I was the only one to conquer that 
 famous Aornos , 2 neither of them having got possession of 
 it. 
 
 Philip. Do you observe that you are talking of these 
 exploits as though you were son of Ammon, in comparing 
 yourself with Herakles and Dionysus ? And do you not 
 blush, Alexander, and will you not unlearn even that puffed- 
 up pride of yours, and know and perceive yourself to be 
 now a mere dead man ? 3 
 
 1 Because those divinities had preceded him in the invasion of India. 
 From the Nysa in the Punjaub, Dionysus, according to some authorities, 
 derived his name. 
 
 2 A hill-fort on the Indus, η άορνος πέτρα, “the rock inaccessible to 
 birds.” See Curtius, Dc Gestis Alex. viii. 11. 
 
 3 Among the modern imitators of Lucian, Fontenelle and Lord Lyttel¬ 
 ton have treated this subject not unworthily of their master. In the 
 dialogue, Alexandre et JPhrine (Phryne), the celebrated original of the 
 Aphrodite Anadyomene, after a comparison of her conquests to those of 
 her quondam admirer, concludes : “ Quand on ne veut que faire du 
 bruit, ce ne sont pas les caracteres les plus raisonables qui y sont les 
 plus propres.” She also makes the, perhaps, too philosophic reflection : 
 “ Si je retranehois de votre gloire ce qui ne vous en appartient pas, si je 
 donnois a vos soldats, a vos capitaines, au hazard meme, la part qui 
 leur en est diie, croyez-vous que vous n’y perdissiez guere ? ”— Dia¬ 
 logues des Marts. Cf. Lyttelton’s Alexander the Great and Charles XII. 
 
128 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 XY. 
 
 ANTILOCHUS, THE SON OF NESTOR (ONE OF THE GREEK HEROES 
 WHO FELL DURING THE SIEGE OF ILIUM), REMONSTRATES WITH 
 HIS FRIEND ACHILLEUS FOR HAYING GIVEN UTTERANCE TO 
 THE WORDS PUT INTO HIS MOUTH BY THE POET OF THE 
 
 ODYSSEY-THAT HE WOULD RATHER BE A SLAVE ON EARTH 
 
 THAN KING IN HADES—SHOWS HIM THE USELESSNESS OF 
 REGRETS IN THE UNDER-WORLD, AND, AT THE SAME TIME, 
 ATTEMPTS TO CONSOLE HIM WITH THE REFLECTION THAT HE 
 IS FAR FROM BEING ALONE IN HIS FATE. ACHILLEUS TAKES 
 THE ADMONITION OF HIS FRIEND IN GOOD PART, BUT REFUSES 
 TO BE COMFORTED. 
 
 Antilochus and Achilleus. 
 
 Antilocfius. What sort of language was that, Achilleus, 
 you addressed to Odysseus the day before yesterday about 
 death; how ignoble and unworthy of both your teachers, 
 Cheiron and Phoenix ! 1 For I overheard you, when you 
 were saying that you would wish to be a servant, bound to 
 the soil, in the house of any poor man “ whose means of 
 support were small,” 2 rather than to be king over all 
 the dead. These sentiments, indeed, some abject Phrygian, 
 cowardly, and dishonourably clinging to life, might, perhaps, 
 be allowed to utter, but for the son of Peleus, the most 
 rashly daring of all heroes, to entertain so ignoble thoughts 
 about himself, is a considerable disgrace, and a contradic¬ 
 tion to your actions in life; you who, though you might 
 
 1 Cheiron, the most renowned of the Iventaurs, had instructed the 
 father of Achilleus also—in the art of obtaining an immortal wife, 
 Thetis. He was slain accidentally by Herakles with his poisoned arrows. 
 Phoenix, the Dolopian prince, who had been forced to flee from his 
 country on account of having seduced his father’s mistress, and had 
 found refuge at the court of Peleus, was appointed by him his son's 
 tutor. 
 
 2 An allusion to the confession of Achilleus to Odysseus in Hades :— 
 
 ΈονΧοίμην κ’ επάρουρος εων θητενεμεν άΧΧφ 
 Άνδρ'ι παρ’ άκΧηρψ, φ μι) βίοτος ποΧνς εΐη, 
 
 *Η πάσιν νεκύεσσι χαταφθιμενοισιν άνάσσειν. 
 
 Od. xi. 488-490 ; Cf. JEn. vi.; Plato, Πολ. iii. {ad viit.), deprecates the 
 sentiment. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 129 
 
 have reigned ingloriously a length of time in Pthiotis, of 
 your own accord preferred death with fair fame . 1 
 
 Acliilleus. But, O son of Nestor, at that time I was still 
 unacquainted with the state of things here, and was igno¬ 
 rant which of those two conditions was the better, and used 
 to prefer that wretched paltry glory to existence ; but now 
 I already perceive how profitless it is, even though the 
 people above ground shall parrot-like sing its praises to the 
 utmost of their power. With the dead there is perfect 
 sameness of dignity ; 2 and neither those good looks of mine, 
 Antilochus, nor my powers of strength are here : but we 
 lie all alike under the same murky gloom, and in no way 
 superior one to the other; and neither the dead of the 
 Trojans have fear of me, nor do those of the Acliaeans pay 
 me any court: but there is complete and entire equality in 
 address, and a dead man is the same all the world over — 
 “ both the coward and the brave.” 3 These thoughts cause 
 me anguish, and I am grieved that I am not alive and 
 serving as a hireling. 
 
 Antilochus. Yet what can one do, Achilleus ? For such 
 is the will of Nature—that all certainly die : so one must 
 abide by her ordinance, and not be grieved at the consti¬ 
 tuted order of things. Besides, you observe how many of us, 
 your friends, are about you here. And, after a short space 
 of time, Odysseus, too, will certainly arrive; and com¬ 
 munity in misfortune, and the fact that one is not alone in 
 suffering, brings comfort. You see Herakles and Meleager ; 4 
 
 1 Yet the invulnerable hero of the Iliad frequently bewails his appor¬ 
 tioned brief career— μινυνθόδιον περ εοντα. 
 
 2 Elsewhere termed by Lucian ισοτιμία. Cf. Ecclesiastes , passim. 
 Seneca, Be Ird, iii. 43. “ Yenit ecce Mors, quae nos pares faciat. Ridere 
 solemus,” he proceeds, “ inter matutina arense spectacula, tauri et ursi 
 pugnam inter se colligatorum : quos cum alter alterum vexarit, suus 
 confector expectet. Idem facimus : aliquem nobiscum alligatuni laces- 
 simus, &c.” 
 
 3 ’Ey δε ly τιμή ήμεν κακός ήδ'ε καί εσθλυς, the words of Achilleus to 
 Odysseus (Ίλ. ix. 319). 
 
 4 The principal hero in the famous Calydonian hunt of the wild boar, 
 whose conquest needed all the chivalry of Hellas; who in fleetness, if not 
 in prowess, were surpassed by the virgin Atalanta, with whom at first 
 they had refused to associate in that arduous enterprise. The Calydonian 
 prince had, also, been one of the Argonautic heroes. See Apollonius, 
 Άργ. i. and cf. TX. ix. 525-600. 
 
 K 
 
130 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 and other admired heroes, who, I imagine, would not 
 accept the offer of a return to the upper regions, if one were 
 to send them back to be hired servants to starvelings and 
 beggars. 
 
 Achilleus. Your exhortation is friendly and well meant: 
 but, I know not how, the remembrance of things in life 
 troubles me, and I imagine it does each one of you, too. 
 However, if you do not confess it openly, you are in that 
 respect worse off, in that you endure it in silence. 
 
 Antilochus. No, rather better off, Achilleus, for we see 
 the uselessness of speaking about it. And we have come 
 to the resolution to keep silence, and to bear, and put up 
 with it, not to incur ridicule, as you do, by indulging 
 such wishes. 
 
 XVI. 
 
 DIOGENES, THE CYNIC, EXPRESSES HIS ASTONISHMENT TO 
 HERAKLES AT SEEING THE SON OF ZEUS IN HADES, LIKE 
 THE REST. THAT HERO PRETENDS THAT HIS ACTUAL SELF IS 
 IN HEAVEN, WHILE IT IS HIS eidolon , OR PHANTOM, WHICH IS 
 AMONG THE DEAD. 
 
 Diogenes and Ilerakles. 
 
 Diogenes. Is not this Herakles ? It is, indeed, no other, 
 by Herakles !—the bow, the club, the lion’s skin, the bulk 
 —it is Herakles all over. Then, with all his being son of 
 Zeus, has he died for good and all ? Tell me, “ O glorious 
 victor,” 1 are you a dead man P for I used to offer sacrifice 
 to you above ground, as if you were divine. 
 
 Ilerakles. And you did perfectly right; for the true 
 
 1 Καλλίνικε. So called from a hymn to him by Archilochus, sung at 
 the Olympic Games, beginning with K αλλίνικ’ άναζ Ήράκλεις . — 
 Bourdin. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 131 
 
 Herakles himself is in the company of the Gods in heaven, 
 and 
 
 “ Enjoys Hebe of the beautiful ancles,” 1 
 while I, his ghost, am here. 
 
 Diogenes. What—a ghost of a God ? And is it possible 
 for one to be a God in one half of ones person, and to have 
 died in the other half P 
 
 Herakles. Yes : for he has not died, but I, his simulacrum. 
 
 Diogenes. I understand. He handed you over as a sub¬ 
 stitute, in place of himself, to Pluto ; and you, therefore, 
 are a dead man in the stead of that hero. 
 
 Herakles. Something of the sort. · 
 
 Diogenes. How, pray, did H3akus, who is so particular, 
 not distinguish you were not he, but accepted a supposititious 
 Herakles, 2 as soon as ever he appeared ? 
 
 Herakles. Because I resembled him so exactly. 
 
 Diogenes. You speak the truth : for so exactly do you 
 resemble him that you are he. Consider a moment, how¬ 
 ever, whether the contrary is not the case—you, in fact, are 
 the Herakles, while it’s your ghost that has married Hebe 
 in heaven. 
 
 Herakles. You are an insolent and prating fellow ; and, if 
 you don’t stop your jeering at me, you shall presently know 
 of what sort of God I am ghost. 
 
 Diogenes. Your bow, indeed, is out of its case, 3 and ready 
 to hand: but I,—why should I, once dead, any longer be 
 
 1 Καί ’έχει καΧΧίσφυρον'ϊΙβην. 
 
 The whole Dialogue is a parody of the account in the Odyssey of the 
 interview of the hero (among other άμενηνα καρηνα of celebrities in 
 Hades) with that of the son of Alkmene :— 
 
 εσενόησα βίην 'ΚρακΧηείην 
 Έ’ίδωΧον' αυτός δε μετ’ αθανάτυισι Θεοϊσι 
 Ύέρπεταε εν OaXiyg καί εχει καΧΧίσφυρον'Ηβην 
 Παιάα Αιός μεγάΧοιο καί 'Ήρ//ς χρυσοπεδίΧου. 
 
 Όδ. χϊ. 600-604. 
 
 The visit of Odysseus to the infernal regions, or, at least, his method of 
 conjuration, it must be admitted, is barbarous enough to excuse severer 
 satire than even that of Lucian. 
 
 2 'Αύτανδρόν. A word peculiar to Lucian. Cf. Κατάπλους η Τύραννος, 
 the offer of the tyrant Megapenthes to Klotlio :— εί βούΧεσθε δε, καί 
 όντανδρόν νμιν άντ εμαυτοΰ παραδώσω τον αγαπητόν. 
 
 3 Parody of Όί. xi. 606. 
 
132 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 afraid of you ? But tell me, in the name of your own 
 Herakles—when he was alive, did you associate with him 
 at that time as his ghost; or, were you one and the same 
 during your life, and, when you died, did you separate and 
 did he fly off to heaven, and you, the ghost, as was natural, 
 come to Hades ? 
 
 Herakles. I ought not even to have replied to a man who 
 talks thus lightly. However, pray, just hear this, too. As 
 much as there was of Amphitryon in Herakles, 1 that has 
 died, and I am all that; but what there was of Zeus is 
 living with the Gods in heaven. 
 
 Diogenes. Now I clearly understand. For Alkmene gave 
 birth, you imply, to two Herakleses at the same time—the 
 one by Amphitryon, and the other from Zeus ; so that, with¬ 
 out its being known, you were twins, born of the same 
 mother. 
 
 Herakles. No, vain trifler: why, we both were one and 
 the same person. 
 
 Diogenes. It’s not so easy to understand this—that there 
 were two Herakleses compounded into one—excepting, per¬ 
 haps, in the manner, as it were, of some hippocentaur, you 
 had grown together, man and god. 
 
 Herakles. What! don’t you suppose all men to be so com¬ 
 posed of two parts—soul and body ? So what is to hinder 
 the soul from being in heaven, which was from Zeus, and 
 the mortal part—myself—from being with the dead ? 
 
 Diogenes. Nay, most excellent son of Amphitryon, you 
 would have fairly advanced that argument if you were a 
 body ; but now you are a bodiless ghost. So you are 
 perilously near making Herakles just now into a trinity. 
 
 Herakles. How a trinity P 
 
 Diogenes. In this way about. If the one, whoever it is, 
 is in heaven, and the one who is with us are you the ghost, 
 while your body has already been dissolved and become 
 dust on H3ta, 2 these surely are three. And consider, there¬ 
 fore, whom you will devise for the third parent for your 
 body. 3 
 
 Herakles. You are an impudent and sophistical fellow. 
 And who, pray, may you happen to be, too ? 
 
 1 See θ. Δ. x. 2 See θ. Δ. xiii. and Έρμοτίμος, vii. 
 
 * Hemsterhuis quotes a Latin epitaph which divides the human 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 133 
 
 Diogenes. The ghost of Diogenes, the Sinopian. But, on 
 nay faith, lie is not “ with the Gods immortal” 1 : nay, 
 rather, I associate with the best of the Dead, and laugh 
 heartily at Homer and such like frigid nonsense. 
 
 XVII. 
 
 MENIPPUS DERIDES THE FABLE AND FATE OF TANTALUS. 2 
 
 Menippus and Tantalus. 
 
 Menippus. Why weep you, Tantalus, or why stand you 
 by the lake and bemoan yourself P 
 
 Tantalus. Because, Menippus, I am dying of thirst. 
 
 Menippus. Are you so lazy as not to stoop and drink, or, 
 by all that’s sacred, even to draw up water in the hollow of 
 your hand ? 
 
 Tantalus. Xo good, if I were to stoop down, for the water 
 flees away whenever it feels me approaching it. And if 
 even, too, I drew any up and put it to my mouth, I have 
 not wetted the tip of my lips, before somehow or other it 
 
 animal into four distinct elements, destined for as many separate habi¬ 
 tations :— 
 
 “Bis duo sunt homines — manes , caro, spiritus, umbra; 
 
 Quattuor has partes tot loca suscipiunt. 
 
 Terra tegit carnem, tumulum circumvolat umbra , 
 
 Orcus habet manes , spiritus astrapetit.” 
 
 1 The well-known hemistich from the Iliad. 
 
 2 Another satire on the poet of the Odyssey, and on the received 
 theology :— 
 
 T άνταΧον εΐσεΊδον, χαΧέττ’ άλγε’ εχοντα 
 "Εσταοτ εν Xipv?j — 
 
 Cf. Ον. Met. iv. 458 ; Hor. Sat. i. 68 ; Epod. xvii. 66, &c. ; Lucian, 
 Περί Πένθους, 'Νεκρομαντεία. Euripides (*Ορεστ·. 5) repeats another 
 account of his torture, by which he floats in the Tartarean air, and is in 
 constant terror from a rock suspended over his head : a version of the 
 fable which Lucretius follows :— 
 
 “ Nec miser impendens magnum timet aere saxum 
 Tantalus, ut famast, cassa formidine torpens. 
 
 Sed magis in vita,” &c. De Rer. Nat. iii. 900. 
 
134 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 flows through my fingers, and leaves my hand again as dry 
 as ever. 
 
 Menippus. Your experience is somewhat of the miracu¬ 
 lous, Tantalus. But tell me why, pray, have you even 
 any need to drink ? For you have no body ; but that which 
 could suffer hunger and thirst, lies buried somewhere in 
 Lydia: and as for you, the spirit, how can you any longer 
 be thirsty, or drink ? 
 
 Tantalus. That’s the very nature of the punishment—that 
 my spirit should thirst as though it were body. 
 
 Menippus. Well, I will believe it to be so, since you declare 
 you are being punished by the feeling of thirst. But 
 what, pray, will there be terrible to you in that ? Is it that 
 you fear dying from want of something to drink ? But 
 that cant he, for I do not observe another Hades after this 
 one, or another death to go to, from here to another place ? 
 
 Tantalus. You are right, and this, in fact, is part of my 
 sentence—the longing to drink, without having any need to 
 do so. 
 
 Menippus. You talk nonsense, Tantalus ; and you seem 
 truly enough to be in need of a draught—unmixed helle¬ 
 bore, by heaven !—who have experienced a fate the opposite 
 to that of those who have been bitten by mad dogs, 1 since 
 you are afraid, not of water, but of thirst. 
 
 Tantalus. Hot even hellebore, Menippus, do I refuse to 
 drink ; let me only have it. 
 
 Menippus. Keep up your spirits, Tantalus, since neither 
 you nor anyone else of the Dead will drink : for it’s an im¬ 
 possibility. However, not all, like you, by the terms of 
 their sentence, thirst for water that will not stay for 
 them. 
 
 1 “Mad” dogs, evidently, were not unknown in ancient cities, 
 maddened, doubtless, by much the same causes as in modern days— 
 terror, ill-treatment, bad, and insufficient food. Horace numbers them 
 among the teri'ors of the streets of Home. For a panic excited by a 
 supposed mad donkey, see Apuleius, Oe Aureo Asino. Cf. Goldsmith, 
 Citizen of the World, lxix. 
 
DIALOGUES OP THE DEAD. 
 
 135 
 
 XVIII. 
 
 MENIPPUS DESIRES HERMES TO POINT OUT TO HIM THE BEAU¬ 
 TIFUL WOMEN AND HANDSOME MEN CELEBRATED BY THE 
 POETS. HERMES SHOWS HIM THE GHOSTS OF THE MOST 
 FAMOUS OF THEM, AND, IN PARTICULAR, THAT OF HELENE. 
 MENIPPUS CYNICALLY EXPRESSES HIS ASTONISHMENT THAT 
 A BARE SKULL SHOULD HAYE CAUSED A GREAT WAR, AND 
 THE DEATHS OF SO MANY THOUSANDS. 
 
 Menippus and Hermes. 
 
 Menippus. And where are the belles and the beaux , 
 Hermes ? Be my cicerone , for I am a new arrival. 
 
 Hermes. I have no leisure, Menippus: look carefully, 
 however, at that spot, to the right, where are Hyakinthus, 
 and Narkissus, and Nireus, and Achilleus, and Tyro, and 
 Helene, and Leda, 1 and in fine all the beauties of old P 
 Menippus. I see only bones and skulls, bare of flesh, 2 for 
 the most part all alike. 
 
 Hermes. Yet these are the bones that all the poets rave 
 about, which you appear to contemn. 
 
 1 Propertius ( Eleg. ii. 21), in praying for the safety of his mistress, 
 recounts some of the famous beauties of Greek antiquity, who, he thinks, 
 ought to be enough to satisfy Pluto:— 
 
 “ Sunt apud infernos tot millia Formosarum: 
 
 Pulchra sit in superis, si licet una locis. 
 
 Vobiscum est Iole, vobiscum Candida Tyro, 
 
 Yobiscum Europe, nec proba Pasiphae. 
 
 Et quot Iona tulit, vetus et quot Achaia Formas, 
 
 Et Thebse, et Priami diruta regna senis.” 
 
 Cf. θ. Δ. ii. Tyro and Leda were among the many belles who appeared 
 to Odysseus in Hades. Όδ. xi. 234-296. 
 
 2 According to the poet of the Odyssey, ghosts are divested of the 
 et muddy vesture ” of flesh and bones :— 
 
 Ου yap ετι σάρκας re καί όστεα ΐνες εχονσιν. 
 
 Άλλα τά μέν re πνρδς κρατερδν μένος αίθομ'ενοιο 
 Ααμνφ, εττε'ι κε πρώτα \'nry \ενκ δστέα θυμός 
 Ψυχ/) δ’ ηντ' όνειρος , άποπταμενη πεπότηται. 
 
 'Οδ. xi. 2. 
 
136 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 Menippus. However, point· me out Helene : for I could 
 not distinguish her. 
 
 Hermes. That skull is Helene. 
 
 Menippus. Then, on account of this, those thousand ships 
 were equipped from the whole of Hellas, and so many 
 Hellenes and foreigners fell, and so many cities have 
 become ruins ! 
 
 Hermes. But you never saw the lady alive, Menippus ; i 
 for even you would have acknowledged it was not a matter 
 to excite indignation that they :— 
 
 “ For such a woman many a year choose bitter woe to suffer.” 1 
 
 For, in fact, if one looks at withered flowers, when they 
 have lost their brilliant colour, it is plain that they will 
 seem to him to have lost all their beauty. While, however, 
 they are in bloom and retain their colour, they are very 
 beautiful. 
 
 Menippus. ’Tis this, however, I wonder at, Hermes,— 
 that the Achseans did not know they were suffering for a 
 thing so shortlived and quickly fading. 
 
 Hermes. I have no leisure, Menippus, to engage in a philo¬ 
 sophical chat with you. So do you choose out for yourself 
 a spot, wherever you like, and throw yourself down and 
 there lie; while I shall straightway go and look after the 
 rest of the dead men. 
 
 1 Τοφ$’ αμφί γνναικί πολνν χρόνον άλγεα πασχειν. A quotation of 
 Ίλ. iii. 157, where unwilling admiration is excited in the aged Priam and 
 Trojan chiefs (as they watch the causa teterrima belli from the walls of 
 the city), who exclaim :— 
 
 Ου ν'εμεσις Τρώας καί ευκνημίδας Άχαιονς 
 
 Τοι yb' άμφί γνναικί ττόλνν χρόνον άλγεα ττάσχειν 
 
 Άινώς άθανάτησι Oeygeig ώπα εοικεν. 
 
 See the remarks of Quintilian, De Inst. Orat. viii. 4 : u Qucenam igitur 
 ilia forma credenda est ? Non enim hoc dicit Paris, qui rapuit, non 
 aliquis juvenis, non unus e vulgo; sed senes et prudentissimi et Priamo 
 assidentes,” &c. For an enumeration of the lovers of Helen, see Apollo- 
 dorus, iii. 10. The sum-total amounts to no less than twenty-eight. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THF DEAD. 
 
 137 
 
 XIX. 
 
 PROTESILAUS, ONE OF THE VICTIMS OF THE TROJAN WAR, SEEKS 
 TO AVENGE HIMSELF BY AN ASSAULT ON HELENE—AAKUS, 
 GATEKEEPER AND ONE OF THE HIGH COURT OF JUSTICE IN 
 HADES, REMINDS HIM THAT IT IS MENELAUS, THE COMMANDER- 
 IN-CHIEF OF THE ACHiEAN ARMY AGAINST ILIUM, WHO IS THE 
 PROPER OBJECT OF HIS VENGEANCE. MENELAUS SHIFTS THE 
 RESPONSIBILITY TO THE SHOULDERS OF PARIS. PARIS LAYS 
 THE BLAME UPON EROS. ^AKUS DECIDES THAT PROTESILAUS 
 HAS ONLY HIMSELF TO BLAME FOR PREFERRING MILITARY 
 GLORY TO A YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL WIFE ; BUT CONCEDES 
 TO PROTESILAUS THAT THE BLAME, IN THE LAST RESORT, 
 LIES WITH THE FATES. 
 
 JEakus , Protesilaus, 1 Menelaus, and Paris. 
 
 JEalcus. Why are you falling upon Helen, and throttling 
 her, Protesilaus ? 
 
 Protesilaus. Why ? Because it was through her I met 
 with my death, Htlakus, leaving behind me my house half- 
 finished, and my newly-married wife a widow. 
 
 jEalcus. Blame Menelaus, then, who led you to Troy, 
 for the sake of such a woman. 
 
 Protesilaus. You are right. It’s he I have to call to 
 account. 
 
 Menelaus. Xo, not me, my fine sir, but Paris more likely, 
 who, contrary to every principle of justice, ran off with the 
 wife of his host—myself. Why, this fellow deserves to be 
 throttled not by you only but by all Hellenes and foreigners, 
 seeing he has been the cause of death to such numbers. 
 Protesilaus. Better so. Never, therefore, I assure you, 
 
 1 A prince of Thessaly who led a number of confederated Thessalian 
 tribes to Ilium. First to leap out of his ship on to the enemy’s coast, he 
 was the first slain of the Achaeans. The story of the devotion of his 
 wife, Laodameia, is well known. Cf. ’Ιλ. ii. 698-703; Ov. Laodameia 
 Protesilao; Catullus, Ad Manlium , 70-108 :— 
 
 *· Quo tibi turn casu, pulcherrima Laodameia, 
 
 Ereptum est vita dulcius atque anima 
 Conjugium : tan to se absorbens vortice amor is 
 JEstus in abruptum detulerat barathrum.” 
 
138 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 will I let you out of my hands, “ ill-fated Paris,” 1 (taking 
 him by the throat). 
 
 Paris. Then you do an injustice, Protesilaus, and that, 
 too, to your fellow-craftsman. For I myself, also, am a 
 devotee of Eros, and am held fast prisoner by the same 
 divinity. And you know how involuntary a sort of thing 
 is love, and how a certain divinity drives us wherever he 
 wishes, and it is impossible to resist him. 
 
 Protesilaus. You are right. Would therefore it were 
 possible for me to get hold of Eros here ! 
 
 jpJakus. I will maintain the cause even of Eros against 
 you. Why, he would himself acknowledge that, likely 
 enough, he was the cause, as regards Paris, of his falling in 
 love; but that of your death, Protesilaus, no one else w r as 
 the cause but yourself, who, entirely forgetful of your 
 newly-married wife, when you brought your ships up at 
 the Troad, so rashly and foolhardily leapt out before the 
 rest, enamoured of glory; on account of which you were 
 the first, in the disembarkation, to die. 
 
 Protesilaus. Then, I shall, in defence of myself, make a 
 still juster reply to you, AEakus. You will confess it, for it 
 is not I am responsible for all this, but Destiny, and the 
 fact that my thread of life was so spun 2 from the first. 
 
 PEakus. Rightly, too. Why, then, do you blame them? 
 
 1 A parody of Ίλ. iii. 39, where Hektor taunts his brother with his 
 cowardice: — 
 
 Ανσπαρι, είδος άριστε, γνναιμανες, ήττεροπεντά, κ. τ. λ. 
 imitated by Ovid (according to the revision of Heinsius) 
 
 “ Dyspari Priamide, damno formose tuorum.” 
 
 Laod. Prot. 43. 
 
 Euripides uses a similar amalgam in Ανσελεναν (“ ill-fated Helene”). 
 "Ο ρέστης, 1391. 
 
 2 Έπικεκλώσθαι. Namely, by Klotho, the one of the three sisters 
 whose province it is to spin out the fated life of man. See Hesiod. θεογ. 
 905-910, and Lucian, Κατάπλους ή Τύραννος. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 139 
 
 XX. 
 
 2EAKUS, AT THE ESPECIAL REQUEST OF MENIPPUS, INTRODUCES 
 HIM TO THE GHOSTS OF THE MOST CELEBRATED POTENTATES 
 OF ANTIQUITY, WHEN THE CYNIC AVAILS HIMSELF OF HIS 
 OPPORTUNITY FOR RIDICULE AND DERISION. MENIPPUS IS 
 NEXT INTRODUCED TO THE MOST FAMOUS PHILOSOPHERS, 
 WHOM HE TREATS WITH NOT MUCH GREATER CONSIDERA¬ 
 TION. THE DIALOGUE CONCLUDES WITH THE INTERVIEW 
 WITH SOKRATES, WHOSE FOIBLES, REAL OR PRETENDED, ARE 
 MADE THE SUBJECT OF SATIRE. 
 
 Menippus and zEakusd 
 
 Menippus. In the name of Pluto, iEakus, be my chaperon, 
 and conduct me round all the sights of Hades. 
 
 zEakus. Xo easy thing, Menippus, to do everything. 
 As regards, however, the principal sights, learn as follows : — 
 that this creature here is Kerberus you are aware ; and 
 this ferryman, who conveyed you across, and the lake, 
 and Pyriplilegethon, 1 2 you have seen but now at your 
 entering- 
 
 Menippus. I know all that, and you, that you are the 
 gate-keeper, and I saw the king, and the Erinyes : 3 but point 
 
 1 Jacobs (ap. Porson, Adversaria) thinks this Dialogue to be not 
 worthy of the genius of Lucian. But, as Lehmann justly remarks, 
 although it has some parts not so highly finished as is usual with Lucian, 
 “ omnino tamen ubivis spirat aura Luciani.” 
 
 2 The “flaming” river, or lake, surrounding Hades. The other 
 infernal streams are the Acheron (the joyless river), the Kokytus (the 
 river of wailing ), and the Styx (the hateful river). See that eloquent re¬ 
 pertory of fantastic superstition or imagination, the Phcedon —to which 
 the Christian Inferno and, in particular, that of Dante is indebted. 
 According to Plato, Acheron and the Acherusian lake, the pagan 
 Purgatorio, await those “ too black for heaven, and yet too white for 
 hell,” who, after expiating their offences, receive the reward of their 
 good deeds. Into “ Tartarus horriferos eructans faucibus sestus,” the 
 worst criminals are thrown headlong, to endure everlasting fire and 
 tortures. Cf. 2En. vi., Georgica , ii. 490-492 ; Lucretius, Oe Her. Nat. iii. 
 
 3 The avenging divinities, the Latin Furice , in Hellenic euphemism 
 usually known as the Eumenidcs (the “ kindly disposed ”). The triad 
 is found first in Euripides. The individual names Alekto, Megsera, 
 
140 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 out to me the men of old times, and especially those of 
 them who are famous. 
 
 Makus. This is Agamemnon, and this Achilleus, and 
 this Idomeneus close by, and this Odysseus ; next are Aias 
 and Diomedes, and the most valiant of the Hellenes. 
 
 Menippus. Bah I Homer, what creatures are the prin¬ 
 cipal ornaments of your rhapsodies, that are tossed about 
 on the ground, shapeless, mere dust all of them, and 
 empty trumpery, in very truth “fleeting forms! 5,1 And 
 this fellow, iEakus, who is he ? 
 
 JEakus. It is Cyrus, and this Kroesus, and the one above 
 him Sardanapalus, and the one above them Midas; and he 
 here is Xerxes. 
 
 Menippus (to Xerxes). Then, vile refuse, it was at your 
 bridging the Hellespont that Hellas shuddered, and at your 
 ambition to sail through the mountains ? 2 And what a 
 
 and Tisiphone appear first in the Hellenic theological writers of late 
 times. In the Ευμενίδες of iEschylus, their number is unlimited. 
 
 1 Cf. Aristoph. Όρνιθες , in the magnificent choral parabasis :— 
 
 Φνσιν άνδρες άμανρόβ tot, φύλλων γενεφ προσόμοιοι, 
 
 Όλι γοδρανεες, πλάσματα πηλόν σκιοειδεα φϋλ’ άμενηνά, 
 
 ’Απτηνες εφημέριοι, ταλαοί βροτοί , άνέρες είκελόνειροι. 
 
 Moschus :— 
 
 Ε νδομες ευ μάλα μάκρον άτερμονα νηγρετον ύπνον. 
 
 Juvenal, Sat. χ. 172 :— 
 
 “ Mors sola fatetur 
 
 Quantula sint hominum corpuscula,” &c. 
 
 2 Menippus alludes to the canal across the Macedonian peninsula of 
 Chalkidike (of which Mount Athos is the Southern extremity) formed 
 by order of Xerxes, to avoid the dangerous passage round that cape. 
 The canal, of which traces are visible, had a length of one and a-half 
 miles. Juvenal, who, in common with many ancient and modern writers, 
 was incredulous, thus refers to it:— 
 
 “ Creditur olim 
 
 Velificatus Athos, et quidquid Grsecia mendax 
 Audet in historia ; constructum classibus isdem 
 Suppositumque rotis solidum mare.” 
 
 Sat. x. 174-177. 
 
 Some one hundred and fifty years later a yet more ambitious, and 
 much less praiseworthy, work was proposed by an architect in Alexander 
 of Macedon’s train—the transformation of Mount Athos into a gigantic 
 statue of that conqueror, holding in one hand a city of 10,000 inhabi¬ 
 tants, and in the other a river. See Plutarch, Biot Παρ. Άλεζ. 
 
DIALOGUES OP THE DEAD. 
 
 141 
 
 figure, too, is the famous Kroesus ! And as for Sardanapalus, 
 Hiakus, just permit me to give him a cuff on the ear. 
 
 JEahus. By no means, for you would shiver his skull in 
 pieces, it is so like a woman’s. 
 
 Menippus. Well, then, I will, at least, certainly spit upon 
 him for a woman-man. 
 
 PEakus. Would you like me to show you the philosophers, 
 too? 
 
 Menippus. In heaven’s name, yes. 
 
 PEahus. First of all, this is your celebrated Pythagoras. 
 
 Menippus. Good-day to you, Euphorbus, or Apollo, 1 or 
 whatever you like to he. 
 
 Pythagoras. The same to you, with all my heart, Me¬ 
 nippus. 
 
 Menippus. Have you no longer a golden thigh ? 
 
 Pythagoras. Why, no; but come, let me see if your 
 wallet contains anything eatable. 
 
 Menippus. Beans, my dear sir—so that’s not in your way 
 of eating. 
 
 Pythagoras. Only give them to me. Other opinions hold 
 among the dead ; for I have learned that beans and one’s 
 parents’ heads are not all on an equality here. 
 
 PEahus. This is Solon, the son of Exekestides, and that 
 
 1 Euphorbus, a Trojan hero, slain by Menelaus, who hung up his 
 enemy’s shield, as a trophy, in a temple at Mykenas. Pythagoras, who,, 
 according to the fable, asserted himself to have been, in one of the 
 various stages of the metempsychosis, Euphorbus, proved his identity by 
 selecting his shield by the faculty of reminiscence. Compare Lucian’s- 
 Πρασις Βίων, and "Ο νέφος ή Άλεκτρυών, 16; Diog. Laert. ITfpi Biojv 
 k. r- λ. (Πυθαγ.) ; Ον. Metam. xv., which book contains, as Dryden 
 justly observes, the finest passage in that charming poem—the Pytha¬ 
 gorean precepts in regard to humane living. As for the absurd legend 
 of the “golden thigh,” repeated unquestioningly by so many writers, 
 old and modern, see "Ο νέφος, Άλεξ. 40 ; Diog. Laert. viii. &c. For the 
 more historical prohibition of beans (to the highest class of his initiated 
 followers) see Porphyry’s Βίος Πυθαγ. ; Plut. Συμπ . ; Diog. Laert.; and 
 the commentaries of Hemstei'huis and Lehmann. In a well-known 
 passage, Horace refers to the prohibited bean :— 
 
 “ 0 quando faba Pythagorae cognata, simulque 
 Uncta satis pingui ponentur oluscula lardo ? 
 
 O noctes caenaeque deiun! ”— Sat. ii. 6. 
 
 Cf. Juv. Sat. xv. 170-174. 
 
142 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 Thales, and by their side Pittakos and the rest; 1 and there 
 are seven in all, as you observe. 
 
 Menippus. These, MCakus, are the only ones of all of them 
 ■without grief and cheerful. But the one covered with 
 cinders, for all the world like a loaf baked in the ashes, 
 who blossoms all over with blisters, who is he ? 
 
 JEakus. Empedokles, Menippus, come from AEtna, half- 
 boiled. 
 
 Menippus. Pine Sir of the brazen foot, what possessed 
 you that you threw yourself into the craters of JEtna ? 2 
 
 Empedokles. A sort of melancholy madness, Menippus. 
 
 Menippus. Not so, by heaven! but vain-glory and puffed- 
 up pride, and much drivelling—these things burned you to 
 
 1 The four other “ Sages,” to whom allusion is here made, are Bias, 
 Periander, Cheilon, and Kleobulus. By far the most distinguished of 
 these “ seven wise men,” as they \Vere called κατ’ εξόχην, are Thales, the 
 celebrated savant of Miletus, the originator of the theory of the Aqueous 
 origin of the Universe, and Solon, the Attic legislator. Of the remain¬ 
 ing five, their titles to supreme wisdom are not altogether unquestion¬ 
 able. Periander, tyrant of Korinth, in the sixth century b.c. (if justice 
 or humanity enter into the idea of “ wisdom ”), had the least indefeasible 
 claim of all. In fact, by some authorities he was excluded from the magic 
 number. 
 
 2 As in the case of Pythagoras, Lucian chooses to adopt the absurd 
 popular legend, or hostile calumny, which represents this distinguished 
 philosopher as throwing himself into the crater of iEtna, that his mira¬ 
 culous disappearance might acquire for him the honours of divinity. 
 Cf. 'I στ. Άληθ. ii. 289 ; Πίρί της Π ερεγρίνου Τελευτής, i. ; Diog. Laert.; 
 Strabo, vi.; JElian, Ποικ. Ίστ. xii. 32 ; Horace, Ars Poet. 464. Dio¬ 
 genes informs us that the Pythagorean philosophers were in the habit 
 of wearing sandals or slippers of brass; but Lucian’s epithet, χαλκόπον, 
 as Wieland points out, may be derived from ’Ιλ. xiii. 23, and from 
 the "Ηλίκηοα of Sophokles, 492. In spite of alleged eccentricities, 
 Empedokles has deserved to be regarded as one of the most distinguished 
 savants ο,ηά geniuses of old Hellas. The greatest of Latin poets speaks of 
 him in terms of the highest and most enthusiastic praise. Celebrating 
 the glories of Sicily, Lucretius adds :— 
 
 “ Nil tamen hoc habuisse viro prseclarius in se 
 Nec sanctum magis et mirum carumque videtur. 
 
 Carmina quin etiam divini pectoris eius 
 Vociferantur et exponunt praeclara reperta, 
 
 Ut vix liumana videatur stirpe creatus.” 
 
 De Her. Eat. i. 729. 
 
 Of his principal poem, Πίρί Φυσέως, considerable fragments remain. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 143 
 
 ashes, slippers and all, not unworthy of your fate. But the 
 clever trick did you no good; for you clearly were proved 
 
 to have died.- Sokrates, however, wherever in the 
 
 world is he, pray P 
 
 JEakus. He is generally talking nonsense, with Nestor 
 and Palamedes. 
 
 Menippus. None the less I would wish to have a look at 
 him, if he is anywhere here. 
 
 TEakus. Do you see the bald-headed man P 
 
 Menippus. All of them are bald-headed together. So 
 that would be the distinguishing mark of all. 
 
 JEakus. I mean the snub-nosed one. 
 
 Menippus. That, too, is all one; 1 for they are the whole 
 lot of them all snub-nosed. 
 
 Sokrates. Is it me you are inquiring for, Menippus ? 
 
 Menippus. Yes, indeed, Sokrates. 
 
 Sokrates. How go things in Athens ? 
 
 Menippus. Many of the young men say they are engaged 
 in philosophy. And if one were to regard their ways of 
 dressing and walking alone, they are tip-top philosophers. 
 
 Sokrates. I have seen very many of them. 
 
 Menippus. But you have observed, I suppose, in what 
 style Aristippus 2 came to you, and Plato himself ; the one 
 reeking of perfume, and the other after having thoroughly 
 learned the art of courting Sicilian despots. 3 
 
 Sokrates. But about me what opinions do they enter¬ 
 tain ? 
 
 Menippus. You are a lucky fellow, Sokrates, as to that 
 sort of thing, at all events. All, in fact, consider you to 
 have been an admirable man, and to have known every- 
 
 1 Όμυΐον, the French tout 6gal, of the use of which idiom a highly 
 entertaining illustration may be seen in Tristram Shandy, vii. 34. 
 
 2 A disciple of Sokrates, and founder of the Cyrenaic School, as it is 
 called. For his selfish and sensual principles of life, see Diog. Laert.; 
 and compare the Βιών Π ράσις, Athenteus, xiii. Horace expresses his 
 admiration for him in well-known verses, Ep. i. I, 17, 23, 24, and 
 Ep. i. 1, 18. 
 
 3 The two Dionysii, uncle and nephew, the celebrated tyrants of Sicily. 
 According to some of the biographers or historians, Plato suffered for 
 his plain-speaking to the despots. See, in particular, Plutarch. 
 Dion. 
 
144 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 thing; and that, too—for one must, I suppose, tell the 
 truth—when you knew nothing. 1 
 
 Sohrates. And I myself kept telling them that, but they 
 would imagine the thing was pretended ignorance on my 
 
 part. 2 3 
 
 Menippus. And who are these about you ? 
 
 Socrates. Charmides, and Phaedrus, and the son of 
 Kleinias. J 
 
 Menippus. Well done, Sokrates ; for even here you pursue 
 your peculiar profession, and don’t altogether despise the 
 handsome fellows. 4 
 
 Sohrates. Why, what else could I engage in more plea¬ 
 santly ? However, do you, please, recline close by us. 
 
 Menippus. No, faith, for I shall go off to join Krcesus and 
 Sardanapalus, to take up my abode in their neighbour¬ 
 hood. I think, in fact, that I shall laugh not a little in 
 listening to their doleful lamentations. 
 
 JEakus. I, too, will now be off, for fear that some one 
 or other of the dead may get clear away without my per¬ 
 ceiving him. As for the remaining sights you shall see 
 them at another time, Menippus. 
 
 Menippus. Take yourself off at once ; indeed, these sights 
 here are quite sufficient, AEakus. 
 
 1 The Delphic Oracle had pronounced the philosopher “ the wisest 
 man,” we are assured, because for himself he constantly professed that 
 he knew nothing. How far this exaggeration of a truth was carried by 
 his disciples in the “ New Academy” is well known. Of the scepticism 
 of Pyrrho, who probably was considerably influenced by Sokratism as 
 Avell as by Demokritus, an entertaining parody is given in the Πρασις 
 Βίων. 
 
 2 Ειρωνείαν, the special character of the Sokratic Dialogue, whence 
 the English irony. See Άλ. Τστ\ ii. 2.32. 
 
 3 Charmides, the uncle of Plato, and Phsedrus have given their names 
 to two of the Dialogues of Plato. The son of Kleinias w^as Alkibiades, who 
 occupies a conspicuous place in the Συμπόσιον, and gives his name to 
 two Platonic Dialogues. 
 
 4 See ’Αληθής Ιστορία (ii. 225), which gives an highly entertaining 
 account of the manner of life of some of the celebrities met by the enter¬ 
 prising travellers in the Island of the Blessed. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 145 
 
 XXI. 
 
 MENIPPUS INQUIRES OF KERBERUS, THE CANINE GUARDIAN OF 
 
 THE ENTRANCE TO HADES, AS TO THE DEMEANOUR OF SOKRATES 
 
 UPON HIS FIRST ARRIVAL THERE. 
 
 A lenippus. My friend Kerberus—for I am your kinsman, 
 being myself a dog, too, 1 —tell me, in the name of the Styx, 
 what was Sokrates like when he was coming down to us : 
 it is to be expected that you, as you are divine, not only 
 bark but also utter human sounds whenever you have a 
 mind to do so. 
 
 Kerherus. At a distance, Menippus, he appeared, in every 
 way, to be approaching with undisturbed countenance, 
 seeming to fear death in no great degree, and desirous to 
 make this evident to those who stood outside the entrance. 
 But when he stooped down and peered within the yawning 
 cavern, and saw the darkness, and when I gave him a bite 
 as he was long dallying with the hemlock , 2 and dragged 
 him down by the foot, he began to squall like an infant, and 
 to bewail his little children, and to take all possible forms 
 in his terror . 3 
 
 Menippus. Was then the fellow a mere sophist? and did 
 he not, in fact, have contempt for the event of death ΐ 
 
 Kerherus. Xo, he had not; but when, in fact, he saw 
 
 1 SeeN. Δ. i.; ΠεριΠίι/θούς, 4; Μενίππος η Νεκυομ. 10; Aristoph. B«rp. 
 Kerberus, like most of the monstersoi Hellenic fancy or Medireval supersti¬ 
 tion, was, chimsera-like, a compound of dog and serpent—the reptile part 
 of the monster adorning its back and forming its tail. See Apollod. ii. 
 5, 12. The Dog, it has been observed, has been deified (in the two 
 principal religions of the ancient western world), in Heaven, on Earth, 
 and in Hades, as Seirius, Anubis, and Kerberus. 
 
 2 ΑιαμεΧλοντα αΰτδν δακών τφ κωνε'αρ, κ. τ. λ. There is some am¬ 
 biguity in the connection of τφ κωνείψ. Eritzsche connects them with 
 δακών. The order of the text is that adopted by Jacobitz. Cf. Aristoph. 
 B ατρ. 124. 
 
 3 Πα^τοιος εγενετο. Nahm alle moglichen Gestalten an, d. i. war 
 ganz ausser sich, wuste nicht, was er machen sollte. Cf. Nt γρίνος, 4, 
 θ. Δ. xxi. 2.—Jacobitz. This account of Kerberus differs altogether 
 from that given by Plato in his Φαίδων: —“ ουδεν τρέσας, οΰδε διαψθείρας 
 ούτε του χρώματος ούτε του προσώπου, άλλ’ ώσπερ είώθει, ταυρηδον νπο· 
 βλέψας.” Cf. Xenophon, οΰδε προς τον θάνατον εμαΧακίσατο, άλλ’ \\αρώς, 
 κ. τ. λ. (’Απολογία) iElian. Π. I. ix. 7 ; Cicero, Tusc. Lisp. iii. 31. 
 
 L 
 
146 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 that it was necessary and unavoidable, be began to show 
 himself courageous, as though, forsooth, ready to suffer 
 not unwillingly what he was bound certainly to undergo, 
 so that the spectators might admire his conduct. And, in 
 short, about all such persons I could tell you, up to the 
 entrance they show daring and manliness; but what hap¬ 
 pens within is a clear proof of their fear. 
 
 Menippus. And I, what did you think of my coming below ? 
 
 Kerberus. You alone, Menippus, and Diogenes before 
 you , 1 made the descent in a manner worthy of your species ; 
 because you entered without being compelled, or pushed in, 
 but of your free will, laughing, after having bidden all the 
 world to go to the devil. 
 
 XXII. 
 
 CHARON DEMANDS FROM MENIPPUS HIS ACCUSTOMED FEE. UPON 
 
 THE ABSOLUTE REFUSAL OF THE CTNIC TO PAY, A IIYELY 
 
 ALTERCATION ENSUES. 
 
 Charon and Menippus. 
 
 Charon. Pay me, damned rascal, my passage-fee. 
 
 Menippus. Bellow, if that is more agreeable to you than 
 anything else , Charon. 
 
 Charon. Pay me, I say, for my having ferried you across. 
 
 Menippus. You will not get anything from a fellow who 
 has nothing. 
 
 Charon. And is there any man in the world who has not 
 a couple of pence P 2 
 
 1 The manner of the death of Diogenes is variously related. See 
 Diog. Laert. Lucian in his II ράσις Βίων makes him kill himself by 
 swallowing an uncooked polypus. Cf. Plutarch, Περί της Σαρκοφαγίας. 
 He is, however, usually represented as having died of old age (at ninety) 
 at Korinth, the year of the death of Alexander of Macedon. 
 
 2 Όβολυν. See Περί Πείρους, ii. (the principal authority on the 
 subject); Aristoph. Barp. 140; Diodorus,ii. 5; Juvenal, Sat. iii. 267 :— 
 
 “ Infelix, nec habet quem porrigat ore trientem.” 
 
 Also Staekelberg’s Die Graber der Hellenen. Apuleius (De Aureo Asino), 
 on the descent of Psyche to the Infernal Kegions, refers to this practice:— 
 “ in ipso ore duas ferre stipes, quarum alteram primam transvectionem , 
 reditum altera mcrctiurf for (as we are told) et inter mortuos Avaritia 
 vivit. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 147 
 
 Menippus. If there is anyone else who hasn't got them 
 I don’t know ; but I have not got them. 
 
 Charon. By Pluto, I will certainly throttle you, villain, 
 if you don’t pay up ( taking him by the throat'). 
 
 Menippus. And I will beat and break your skull to 
 pieces with my staff. 
 
 Charon. Then you will have made your so long voyage in 
 vain . 1 2 
 
 Menippus. Let Hermes, who handed me over to you, pay 
 
 vou for me. 
 
 «/ 
 
 Hermes. Much profit should I get, faith, if I am going 
 to pay for the dead, too ! 
 
 Charon. I shall not let go of you ( tightening his grasp). 
 
 Menippus. Then haul your craft on shore, and stop till 
 you get it. 2 But, however, how can you receive what I 
 have not got P 
 
 Charon. But did you not know it is absolutely neces¬ 
 sary to provide oneself with it ? 
 
 Menippus. I knew well enough: but I had not got it. 
 What then P Ought I not to be dead on that account ? 
 
 Charon. Are you then to be the only one to boast of 
 having made the passage gratis ? 
 
 Menippus. Not gratis, my fine Sir ! For indeed I baled 
 out the bilge-water, and lent a hand at the oar, and was 
 the only one of all the passengers not to weep. 
 
 Charon. That’s nothing to do with the ferryman, You 
 must pay your twopence. It’s not lawful and right for it 
 to be otherwise. 
 
 Menippus. Then take me back to life again. 
 
 Charon. A pretty idea—to get blows for my pains from 
 JEakus, into the bargain ! 
 
 Menippus. Don’t bother me, then. 
 
 Charon. Show us what you have got in your wallet. 
 
 Menippus. Lupines—if you want them—and Hekate’s 
 supper . 3 
 
 1 “ The meaning is : You will in vain have made so long a voyage, for 
 if you do not give me the obolos, you will have to return to the upper 
 world.”—J acobitz. 
 
 2 The ναυΚυν or “ fee.” 
 
 3 See N. Δ. i. The Lupine (a species of flowering pulse ) was the 
 common and staple food of the disciples of Antisthenes. See Diog. 
 
148 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 Cliaron. From where in the world did yon bring ns 
 this dog, Hermes ? And what language he nsed during 
 the passage—laughing and jeering at all the whole lot of 
 passengers, and, while the rest were groaning and lament¬ 
 ing, the only one to give us a song! 
 
 Hermes. Don’t you know, Charon, what personage it is 
 you have brought over—a free man and no mistake ; he 
 cares for nobody. He is the famous Menippus everyone 
 knows. 
 
 Charon. All the same, should I ever catch you ( shaking 
 his fist )— 
 
 Menippus. Should you catch me, my fine Sir: but you 
 don’t catch me twice (making off). 
 
 XXIII. 
 
 PROTESILAUS, AN ACH2EAN HERO, WHO HAD FALLEN BEFORE ILIUM, 
 SUPPLICATES PLUTO TO PERMIT HIM TO RETURN TO LIFE, FOR 
 A DAT, TO VISIT HIS WIFE LAODAMEIA, AND ADDUCES AS PRE¬ 
 CEDENTS THE EXAMPLES OF ORPHEUS AND ALKESTIS. AT THE 
 INTERCESSION OF PERSEPHONE, PLUTO AT LENGTH GRANTS THE 
 FAVOUR. 
 
 Protesilaus , 1 Pluto , and Persephone. 
 
 Protesilaus. O Lord, and King, and our God here heloiv , 
 and you, daughter of Demeter, do not contemn a lover’s 
 prayer. 
 
 Pluto. And you—what do you want from us, or who 
 may you be ? · 
 
 Protesilaus. I am Protesilaus, the son of Iphiklus, of 
 Phylake, who fought with the Achasans, and was the first 
 of the army against Ilium to die, and my supplication is 
 that I may have leave of absence for a short time, and 
 return to life again. 
 
 Pluto. That’s a sort of love, Protesilaus, all dead people 
 indulge in : but not one of them will ever succeed in it. 
 
 Laert. With the poets of the New Comedy it was a fertile subject for 
 ridicule, as displayed in Athenieus. 
 
 1 See N. Δ. xix. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 149 
 
 Protesilaus. But it’s not life, A’idoneus , 1 I am in love 
 with, but my wife, whom I left behind still a young bride 
 in the bridal chamber, and went off on the voyage: for, 
 ill-fated wretch, I died by the hands of Hektor, at the dis¬ 
 embarkation . 2 Love for my wife, accordingly, wears me 
 away immeasurably, my Lord, and I am ready, after 
 having appeared to her, if only for a brief time, to come 
 down again. 
 
 Pluto. Did you. not drink the water of Lethe, Protesilaus ? 
 
 Protesilaus. Yes, indeed, my Lord: but the matter was 
 beyond all bounds. 
 
 Pluto. Then just wait for her ; for she, too, will arrive at 
 some time or other, and there will be no need for you to 
 go up above. 
 
 Protesilaus. But I can’t endure the delay, Pluto. You’ve 
 been in love 3 yourself, before now, and you know what a 
 thing love is. 
 
 Pluto. Besides, what good will it do you to live again 
 for one day, w r hen you will have to experience the same 
 griefs shortly afterwards ? 
 
 Protesilaus. I think I shall persuade her, too, to follow 
 me to you, so that, in a little while, in place of one you will 
 receive two dead people. 
 
 Pluto. It is not lawful and right that this should be, 
 , nor has it ever been so. 
 
 Protesilaus. I will refresh your memory, Pluto. Why, 
 on this very same plea you delivered up Eurydike to 
 Orpheus, and you sent off my kinswoman Alkestis to 
 gratify Herakles. 
 
 Pluto. But would you wish thus, with your bare and ugly 
 skull, to appear to that beautiful bride of yours P and how, 
 too, will she admit you to her, -when she is not able even 
 to distinguish you? Why, she will be frightened, I am well 
 
 1 A paragogic form of Aides or Hades. 
 
 2 In the Iliad (ii. 695) his slayer is anonymous. Lucian here 
 follows Ovid ( Metam. xii. 67) or some other authority. 
 
 3 With Persephone, in particular, who :— 
 
 “Gathering flowers, 
 
 Herself a fairer flower, by gloomy Dis 
 Was gathered.” 
 
150 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 assured, and will flee from you, and you will have made 
 your long journey to the upper world to no purpose. 
 
 Persephone. Do you all the same, my husband, set that 
 right, and direct Hermes, as soon as ever Protesilaus is in 
 daylight, to touch him with his caduceus, 1 and make him 
 a handsome youth again, such as he was when he came out 
 from the nuptial chamber. 
 
 Pluto (to Hermes). Since it’s Persephone’s pleasure, con¬ 
 duct this man to the upper regions, and just make him a 
 bridegroom again.— (To Protesilaus .) And do you remem¬ 
 ber you have got only one day. 
 
 XXIY. 
 
 IDOGENES DEMANDS OF MAUSOLUS, THE KARIAN SATRAP, THE 
 REASON OF HIS ARROGANCE AND PRIDE, AND RIDICULES THE 
 VANITY OF HIS GRANDEUR AND POWER ON EARTH, AND, IN 
 PARTICULAR, THE USELESSNESS TO HIM OF HIS MAGNIFICENT 
 TOMB AT HALIKARNASSUS. HE CONCLUDES HIS DIATRIBE 
 WITH CONTRASTING HIS OWN COMPLETE IGNORANCE AND IN¬ 
 DIFFERENCE IN REGARD EVEN TO THE MANNER, OR PLACE, 
 OF HIS OWN SEPULTURE. 
 
 Diogenes and Mausolus. 2 
 
 Diogenes. For what reason are you so high and mighty, 
 and claim to have precedence of us all in honour, Karian ? 
 
 Mausolus. Indeed, by reason of my kingdom, 0 Sino- 
 pian—seeing I was king of all Karia, and ruled over some 
 
 1 For the magic property of the ραβοος, see θ. Δ. vii. 
 
 2 Mausolus was Sati'ap of Karia, on the S.W. of the Lesser Asia, 
 under the Persian monarch Artaxerxes the Second, or Mnemon (as he 
 was called by the Greeks). With other Satraps he revolted, and estab¬ 
 lished himself as an independent prince—377-353 b.c. At his death, 
 his sister and wife Artemisia, who succeeded him, built the splendid 
 monument which has given its name to succeeding edifices of the kind— 
 none of which in the Western world have any title to rivalry with it. 
 For a description, see Pliny, Hist. Nat. iv. 36. More justly than were 
 most of the others, it was reckoned among the “ seven wonders.” In 
 modern times, however, in the Eastern world the tomb of Marsolus 
 has been surpassed by that paragon of architectural beauty, the Taj 
 Mahal at Agra. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 151 
 
 of the Lydians, also, and subjugated to my dominion several 
 islands, and advanced as far as Miletus, overrunning the 
 greater part of Ionia. And I was handsome and great, 
 and strenuous in wars. But, what is greatest reason of all, 
 is that I possess in Halikarnassus a very great monument 
 lying over me, of dimensions such as no other dead man 
 has; nay, nor one so elaborately beautified—horses and 
 men having been copied with the greatest accuracy in the 
 most beautiful marble—of such sort as one could not easily 
 find even a temple. Seem I not to you justly to be high 
 and mighty on those grounds ? 
 
 Diogenes. On account of your kingdom, you say, and 
 your handsome appearance, and the weight of your tomb ? 
 
 Mausolus. Assuredly, on those grounds. 
 
 Diogenes. But, my handsome Mausolus, neither that 
 power of yours nor your figure any longer pertains to you. 
 If, however, we should choose some judge of good looks, I 
 am unable to say why your skull should be preferred to 
 mine ; for both are bald and bare, and we display our 
 teeth with equal prominence, we are both deprived of our 
 eyes, and have been both provided with snub-noses. And 
 as for your tomb, and those costly marbles, they, perhaps, 
 may be of use to the good people of Halikarnassus, to show 
 off for their own benefit and to get honour for themselves 
 from strangers and visitors as having, no doubt, a certain 
 big building. But as for you, my fine Sir, I don’t see what 
 benefit you derive from it, unless 1 you affirm this—that 
 you bear a heavier burden than we, inasmuch as you are 
 weighed down by such huge stones. 
 
 Mausolus. Will all those things, then, be of no advantage 
 to me, and will Mausolus and Diogenes have an equality 
 of privilege ? 
 
 Diogenes. Hot an equality of privilege, most excellent 
 Sir,—certainly not. For Mausolus will groan and lament, 
 in remembering his possessions above ground, in which he 
 used to imagine himself to be happy, while Diogenes will 
 laugh at him. And as for the tomb at Halikarnassus—he 
 
 1 Π\?)ν u μη. “ Lucian himself has animadverted upon this expression 
 in his Solcecistcs ; for correct writers wrote πλήν εί, or εί μή. But Lucian 
 has often not attended to his own rule.”—Hemst. 
 
152 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 will call it his own, though it w r as constructed by his wife 
 and sister Artemisia; whereas Diogenes does not know 
 whether even he has any tomb for his carcass ; for he did 
 not even bestow a thought about it; 1 but he has.left behind, 
 for the best part of mankind, the memory of himself as of 
 a man, w r lio has lived a life much more sublime than your 
 monument, greatest of Karian slaves, and built on a firmer 
 foundation. 
 
 XXY. 
 
 NIREUS AND THERSITES, DISPUTING WHICH OF THEM WAS THE 
 MORE DISTINGUISHED BY GOOD LOOKS, APPEAL TO MENIPPUS. 
 MENIPPUS, DISREGARDING THE AUTHORITY OF HOMER, PRO¬ 
 NOUNCES THE Ισοκάλλος AS WELL AS THE Ισοτιμία, IN 
 HADES, TO BE AS COMPLETE AS IT IS UNALTERABLE. 
 
 Nireus, Thersites, and Menippus. 
 
 Nireus. See, I say, Menippus here shall judge which of 
 the two is more shapely.—Say, Menippus, don’t I seem 
 to you the better-looking ? 
 
 Menippus. But who are you, really ? For it is first neces¬ 
 sary, 1 suppose, that I know that. 
 
 Nireus. Nireus and Thersites. 
 
 Menippus. Which, pray, is Nireus, and which Thersites? 
 For that’s not clear as yet. 
 
 Thersites. This one point in my favour I have already— 
 that I am like you, and that you by no means are so far 
 
 1 See N. Δ. i. His master Antisthenes, the founder of the Cynic 
 School, displayed equal indifference to the rites of sepulture. 
 
 2 For Nireus, see N. Δ. xviii. The agreeable picture of this represen¬ 
 tative demagogue, Thersites, painted by the poet of the Iliad, is well 
 known :— 
 
 αίσχιστος δε άνήρ νπο "Ιλιον ήλθε’ 
 
 Φολκός εην, χωλός δ’ ετερον πόδα · τώ δέ ωμω 
 Κ νρτω, επί στήθος σννοχωκότε ' αύτάρ νπερθε 
 Φοξός εην κεφαλήν, ψ'εδνη δ’ επενηνοθε λάχνη. 
 
 ϋ. 216-219. 
 
 See Άλ. Τ στ., where Thersites brings an action ( γραφή νβρεως ) against 
 the poet for calumny, before the Court of Rhadamanthys, and gains his 
 case (ii. 2S0). 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 153 
 
 superior as Homer, that blind fellow, commends you for being , 
 when he calls you a finer man than the rest of us; whereas 
 I, the peak-headed and almost bald-pated individual, did 
 not appear *at all inferior in the eyes of our judge.—But do 
 you see, Menippus, whom you consider really the finer 
 gentleman ? 
 
 Nireus. Me, to be sure, the son of Aglaia and Charops, 
 
 “ Of all the Danai ’neath Uion who mustered, 
 
 The man of fairest form.” 1 
 
 Menippus. You, by no means, however, came below 
 ground very much like a beau, as I imagine ; on the con¬ 
 trary, your bones were all much alike, and your skull 
 could be distinguished, I suppose, from that of Tliersites 
 in this respect only—that yours is easily smashed ; for 
 it is a brittle and no virile one you have. 
 
 Nireus. Indeed, ask Homer what I was like when I was 
 campaigning with the Aclneans. 
 
 Menippus. Mere dreams: I see, however, what beauties 
 you have just now, and as for those former graces of yours , 
 the people of those times know all about that. 
 
 Nireus. Have I, then, here no superiority in good looks, 
 Menippus ? 
 
 Menippus. Keitlier you, nor anyone else, have any pre¬ 
 tensions to good looks; for perfect equality prevails in 
 Hades, and all are alike. 
 
 Tliersites. For me, I assure you, that is quite enough. 
 
 1 'Ός κάΧΧιστος άνήρ νττυ "Ίλιον ηΧθον. 
 
 Ίλ. ϋ. 673. 
 
 Cf. Mneis , vii. 649, of the Son of Mezentius. Nireus and Tliersites 
 became a sort of proverb for masculine beauty and ugliness. Plato, 
 in his representation of the various choices made by human souls, for 
 their second lives, makes Tliersites adopt that of an ape.— Πόλ. x. ad 
 finem . 
 
154 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 XXVI. 
 
 CHEIRON IMPARTS TO MENIPPUS HIS REASON FOR .PREFERRING 
 HADES TO HEAVEN AND IMMORTALITY. 
 
 Menippus and Cheiron. 1 
 
 Menippus. I heard, Cheiron, that though divine, you had 
 a great desire to die. 
 
 Cheiron. You heard quite right, Menippus; and I have 
 died, as you see, when I might have been immortal. 
 
 Menippus. Pray, what love of death possessed you, a thing 
 undesired by most people ? 
 
 Cheiron. I will tell you, as you are not altogether with¬ 
 out sense. I had no longer any pleasure to get from 
 immortality. 
 
 Menippus. It was no pleasure to you to live and see the 
 light of day P 2 
 
 Cheiron. No, Menippus, for I, for my part, hold pleasure 
 to be something which is variable, and not simple. But I 
 was always living and in the enjoyment of the same things 
 —sun, light, food ; and there were the same seasons, and 
 everything happened, each in its own order, following, as 
 it were, one after the other—I became, therefore, satiated 
 with them : for my pleasure was dependent not on its per¬ 
 manence, but on the not being constantly participant in it. 3 
 
 1 The most famous of the Kentaurs, and instructor of Peleus, Achilleus, 
 and other heroes. He met his death by an accident, at the hand of 
 Herakles. As the son of Cronos, he was immortal; but, preferring 
 death, Zeus permitted him to transfer his deathlessness to Prometheus. 
 See Apollod. ii. v. &c.; Hyginus ; Ov. Met. ii. 
 
 2 “ No longer to behold the light,” to the Hellene, and, in particular, 
 to the Athenian, living under pure, translucent skies, and physically and 
 mentally sensitive in a high degree to the enjoyments of life, was the 
 one great cause of regret at the moment of death—as depicted by their 
 tragic dramatists. See, especially, Euripides, Ιφιγένεια εν Ανλ., 1359-1362. 
 
 5 ΐώ, ίώ, λαμπαδοΰχας αμερα, 
 
 Αιός τε φέγγος, ετερον, 'έτεροί', 
 
 Αιώνα και μοίραν οΐκησομενΐ 
 ΧαΖρε μοι, φίλον φάος. 
 
 Cf. the exquisite lines in the Cenci of Shelley (v. 4). 
 
 3 Le Clerc supposes Lucian to have derived this philosophy of Pleasure 
 from the Υποβολιμαίος of Menander, who, in his turn, was indebted to 
 Alexis. The fragment has been preserved by Stobieus. For εν τ<μ μετασχεϊν 
 ολως, Lehmann would read,with other MSS., μεταβαλεϊν —■“ inconstant 
 change.” 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 155 
 
 Menippus. You are right, Cheiron; but how do you 
 endure the state of things in Hades, ever since you came 
 here by preference ? 
 
 Cheiron. Not disagreeably, Menippus, for your equality 
 is very democratic, and the circumstance of being in day¬ 
 light or in darkness brings no difference with it: besides, 
 one has not to be thirsty nor hungry, as up above, for we 
 are without all those wants. 
 
 Menippus. Take care, Cheiron, that you are not caught 
 in your own words, and your argument does not come 
 round to the same thing. 
 
 Cheiron. How do you mean ? 
 
 Menippus. That if everlasting sameness and'similarity 
 of human life was the cause of your ennui, here, too, the 
 sameness of things must be equally matter for satiety for 
 you ; and you will be obliged to seek some means of mi¬ 
 grating from here, also, to another life, a thing which, I 
 imagine, is impossible. 
 
 Cheiron. What should one do, then, Menippus P 
 
 Menippus. According to what is commonly said, I suppose 
 that a sensible man is pleased and content with his present 
 circumstances, and thinks none of them intolerable. 
 
 XXVII. 
 
 THE PHILOSOPHERS DIOGENES, ANTISTHENES, AND KRATES RE¬ 
 SOLVE TO MAKE FOR THE ENTRANCE TO ORCUS, TO OBSERVE 
 THE QUALITY AND CONDUCT OF THE NEW ARRIVALS. ON THE 
 WAY THEY ENTERTAIN THEMSELVES WITH RECOUNTING THEIR 
 SEVERAL EXPERIENCES OF THE BEHAVIOUR OF THEIR TRAVEL¬ 
 LING COMPANIONS TO HADES. UPON THEIR ARRIVAL AT THEIR 
 DESTINATION, DIOGENES INTERROGATES A POOR MAN AS TO THE 
 CAUSE OF HIS LAMENTATION. 
 
 Diogenes , Antisthenes , Krates , 1 and Poor Man. 
 Diogenes. We are at leisure, friends Antisthenes and 
 
 1 See N. Δ. xi. 
 
156 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 Krates: so why should we not set off for a walk straight 
 for the place of descent, to observe the new arrivals coming 
 down 1 to us, what they are like, and what each of them is 
 about ? 
 
 Antisthenes. Let us be off, Diogenes, for, indeed, the 
 spectacle would be a pleasant one—to see some of them 
 weeping, and some entreating to be let go, and some making 
 the descent with reluctance, and, though Hermes gives a 
 push to their shoulders, resisting, and struggling on their 
 backs, to no purpose. 
 
 Krates. I, also, will relate to you what I saw by the 
 way, when I was coming down. 
 
 Diogenes. Give us the story, Krates, for I fancy you have 
 seen some uncommonly laughable scenes. 
 
 Krates. There were several others who made the descent 
 in my company, and conspicuous among them were Ismeno- 
 dorus our countryman, the millionaire, and Arsakes the 
 Median Satrap, and Orcetes of Armenia. 2 Well, Ismenodorus 
 —for he was murdered by the robbers of Kithasron, while 
 proceeding on foot to Eleusis, I believe—began groaning and 
 covering his wound with his hands, and kept calling upon 
 the new-born infants whom he had left behind him, and 
 accusing himself of rashness, for crossing Kithasron, and 
 traversing the neighbourhood of Eleutheria 3 (left altogether 
 desolate by the ravages of war), and for taking with him 
 
 1 Tov£ κατιόντας. The term applied to exiles returning home, and 
 there is reference to this in the text. See Herod, i. 62, iii. 45, 
 Aeschylus, Άγαμίμ., 1283. 
 
 2 It is uncertain whether the two last names represent historical 
 personages, or iu*e merely fictitious. The first is certainly either fictitious, 
 or that of some person of whom nothing more is known than what we 
 are here told, that he was a countryman of Krates, and therefore a 
 Theban. Arsakes is the name of the founder of the Parthian Monarchy, 
 which, like that of Caesar with the Roman Emperors, was adopted by all his 
 successors. The first of the Arsacidse is said by Ammianus Marcellinus 
 to have died a natural death; while Suidas follows the account of 
 Lucian. An Orcetes figures in the Χάρωη(14); the Satrap who, as 
 Herodotus informs us. crucified Polykrates of Samos (iii. 130). Hems- 
 terhuis thinks that all the three characters may be derived from the 
 New Comedy. 
 
 3 A town or village at the foot of Kithseron, on the confines of Attica 
 and Boeotia. The wars referred to were, probably, those waged by Alex- 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 157 
 
 only two domestics, and that, though he had with him five 
 bowls of gold, and four cups. As for Arsakes—now ad¬ 
 vanced in age and, indeed, not without some dignity about 
 his appearance, he was annoyed after the fashion of the 
 foreigner, and was highly indignant at trudging on foot, 
 and claimed it as his right that a horse should be supplied 
 to him; and, in fact, his horse had died with him, both 
 having been run through, at one stroke, by some Thracian 
 peltast, in the engagement on the Araxes with the 
 Kappadocian. 1 For Arsakes charged, as he declared to 
 us, far in advance of the rest; while the Thracian, awaiting 
 the attack, covers himself with his round shield, and wards 
 off the spear-shaft of Arsakes, and, couching his own 
 Macedonian lance, runs him and his horse through at the 
 same time . 
 
 Antisthenes. How was it possible for that to be done at 
 one stroke, Krates ? 
 
 Krates. Very easily, Antisthenes. For he began charging, 
 pushing before him a spear-shaft of twenty cubits ; while 
 the Thracian, when with his shield he warded off from 
 himself the onslaught, and the spear-point passed him, 
 sank on his knees, and received the attack with his spear, 
 and wounds the horse under the chest, who ran himself 
 through by his own ardour and the vehemence of his speed. 
 And as for Arsakes, he is run right through from the groin 
 to the buttocks. You see something of what it was like r 
 the action w r as rather that of the horse than of the hero. 
 He was indignant, nevertheless, at being on a level with 
 the rest in point of dignity, and considered it as his right to 
 come down in the capacity of a knight. But as for Oroetes, 
 he was very tender-footed, and was not able even to stand 
 on the ground, not to say anything of walking—all Medes, 
 in point of fact, have this experience, on dismounting from 
 their horses : they walk as though upon thorns, on tiptoe, 
 and with difficulty get on at all—so that, when he threw 
 
 ander of Macedon and his successors.—Jacob. The range of Kithseron 
 was thickly wooded, and favourable for robbers. 
 
 1 In Armenia. By the Kappadokian, probably, is to be understood 
 Eumenes, whom Perdikkas (who had usurped the chief command of the 
 Macedonian army at the death of Alexander) had appointed to the post 
 of Lieutenant in Kappadocia and Paphlagonia.—Jacob. 
 
158 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 himself down, and lay there, and would by no means allow 
 himself to be set on his feet again, the excellent Hermes 
 took him up and carried him as far as the ferry-boat; while 
 I set myself laughing. 
 
 Autisthenes. Well, as for myself, when I was making 
 the descent, I did not at all mix myself up with the rest, 
 but, leaving them to lament, I ran forward to the ferry¬ 
 boat, and took my place beforehand, that 1 might have a 
 comfortable passage. In fact, during the voyage they 
 were shedding tears, and suffering from sea-sickness, while 
 I was exce .dingly entertained by them all. 
 
 Diogenes. You, Krates, and you, Antisthenes, chanced to 
 fall in with fellow-travellers of such description. My 
 fellow-travellers down were Blepsias the money-lender, 
 from Pisa, and Lampis of Akarnania, who had been 
 captain of mercenaries, and Damis the millionaire, he 
 of Korinth. Damis died from poison administered by his 
 son ; Lampis cut his own throat for love of Myrtium, the 
 celebrated courtesan; while Blepsias, the poor w r retch, was 
 said to have slowly starved to death ; and he showed it 
 clearly enough, appearing pallid to excess, and attenuated 
 to the most extreme point. I, although aware of the 
 facts, began to question them as to the manner of their 
 deaths. Then, when Damis was accusing his son, “ You 
 suffered, however, no unjust fate at his hands,” said I, 
 “ since, while you at once possessed a quarter of a million, 
 and lived in luxury yourself, nonagenarian as you were, 
 you used to supply a youth of eighteen with just sixpence. 
 And as for you, Mr. Akarnanian (for he, too, was uttering 
 groans, and imprecating curses on Myrtium), why do you 
 blame Eros, when you ought to accuse yourself ? you who, 
 while you never trembled at the enemy in battle, but used 
 to fight, regardless of danger, in the front ranks, were 
 caught, admirable man, by the made-up tears and sighs of 
 a common prostitute! 1 As for Blepsias, he anticipated 
 blame and accused himself, of his own accord, of exces¬ 
 sive folly, in that he hoarded up his money for heirs in no 
 way related to him, thinking, the fool! to live for ever. 
 However, to me they afforded no common amusement by 
 
 1 Cf. 'Εταιρών AinX. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 159 
 
 their groans then-. But, now we are at the entrance, 
 
 we must watch and observe carefully the arrivals, while yet 
 at a distance. Bah ! they are numerous and various enough, 
 and all in tears, except these newly-born children and 
 infants. Nay, even the very old fellows are bewailing 
 themselves. What’s this ? Has the magic potion of life, 
 forsooth, got them under its influence ? However, I want 
 to question this superannuated old man.—What are you 
 weeping about, dying at your time of life ? Why are you 
 indignant, my fine Sir, and that, when you have arrived at 
 a good age? You were, doubtless, some king? 
 
 Poor Man. Not at all. 
 
 Diogenes. Well, some satrap or other? 
 
 Poor Man. Not that, even. 
 
 Diogenes. Then you were, doubtless, a rich man, and it 
 troubles you, I suppose, to have died and left behind you 
 much luxury ? 
 
 Poor Man. Nothing of that sort; on the contrary, I had 
 arrived at about the full age of ninety years, and led a life 
 of want, sustained by means of my fishing-rod and line, 
 excessively poor, childless, and lame, into the bargain, and 
 half blind. 
 
 Diogenes. Then, though you were in such a condition, did 
 you wish to go on living? 
 
 Poor Man. Yes, for the light of day was sweet to me, 
 and to die is a terrible thing and to be avoided. 
 
 Diogenes. You are bereft of your senses, old man, and 
 behave in the face of inevitable Necessity like a child; and 
 that, though you are a contemporary of the Ferryman there. 
 What, pray, could one in future say as regards the young, 
 when people of your time of life are so fond of living, who 
 ought to pursue Death as the one remedy for the evils 
 essential to old age ?—But let us be gone, now, for fear 
 someone may suspect us of wishing to run away, if he sees 
 us crowding about the entrance-gate. 
 
160 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 XXVIII. 
 
 MENIPPDS RIDICULES THE STORY OF THE PROPHET TEIRESIAS 
 
 AS FOUND IN THE POETS AND THEOLOGISTS, AND, IN PAR¬ 
 TICULAR, HIS METAMORPHOSIS INTO A WOMAN. 
 
 Menippus and Teiresias . 1 
 
 Menippus. Whether, in fact, you are blind, Teiresias, 
 it is no longer easy to distinguish; for the eyes of all 
 of us alike are empty, and only their sockets remain ; and, 
 for the rest, you would no longer be able to tell which was 
 Phineus, 2 * * or which Lynkeus. That, however, you were a 
 prophet, and that you are the only one who has ever been 
 of both sexes—both a man and a woman—I am aware, 
 having heard so from the poets. In heaven’s name, there¬ 
 fore, tell me which life did you find by experience the 
 pleasanter—when you were a man, or was the woman’s 
 superior ? 
 
 Teiresias. The woman’s, Menippus, far away, for it was 
 more free from the cares of life , and the women lord it 
 
 1 The famous prophet of Thebes, who figures conspicuously in the 
 Sophoklean drama. His blindness has been variously accounted for. 
 One narrative attributes it to the indignation of Athena, whom he had 
 chanced to see in the bath, who, however, gave him, by way of compen¬ 
 sation, the prophetic faculties. His transformation into one of the 
 opposite sex is attributed to his having killed a female serpent, and 
 his double experience induced Zeus to make him arbiter in his dispute 
 with Hera upon the question, which sex has the greater enjoyment j 
 and, when he pronounced in favour of the weaker, the indignant Hera 
 deprived him of sight. See Apollod. iii. 6 ; Ov\ Met. iii. 318-338. 
 Cf. OS. xi. where Odysseus, by means of his barbarous magic rites, 
 evokes the spectres of the dead. 
 
 2 Phineus, the Thracian king and prophet in one, famous as having 
 been the especial object of the persecution of the Άρπνΐαι (on account 
 of his cruelty to his sons), and as the instructor of the Argonauts. The 
 cause of his blindness is variously given. See Apollod. i. 9, 21, 22 ; iii. 
 14, 7 ; Apollonius, Άργ. Milton celebrates the blind prophets and 
 poets of Hellas in the well-known passage in his Par. Lost :— 
 
 “ Blind Thamyris, and blind Maeonides, 
 
 And Teiresias and Phineus, prophets old .·' 5 
 
 (iii. 35.) 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 161 
 
 over the men, and they are not forced to go to fight in war, 
 or to stand sentinel at the battlements, or to wrangle in 
 parliament, or to be cross-examined in law courts. 
 
 Menippus. Have you not heard, Teiresias, the Medeia of 
 Euripides, how she pities the female sex, in her speech, as 
 wretched, and having to undergo certain intolerable pangs 
 —those of childbirth ? 1 But tell me—for the iambics of 
 Medeia remind me of it—did you ever have a child, when 
 you were a woman, or did you continue barren and un¬ 
 fruitful in that state of life? 
 
 Teiresias. Why do you ask that, Menippus ? 
 
 Menippus. Ho offence intended, Teiresias; but answer 
 me, if it is agreeable to you. 
 
 Teiresias. I was not barren, and yet I did not have a 
 child at all. 
 
 Menippus. That’s quite enough. If you had a womb, in 
 fact—I wished to know that. 
 
 Teiresias. Of course I had. 
 
 Menippus. And was it in course of time that it disap¬ 
 peared, and the sexual part was obstructed, and your 
 breasts were removed, and the manly parts sprang into 
 existence, and you grew a beard; or did you immediately 
 from being a woman turn out a man ? 
 
 Teiresias. I don’t see what your question means exactly. 
 
 1 The forsaken wife of Iason thus expresses the unhappy condition of 
 her sex:— 
 
 Γυναίκες εσμεν άθλιώτατον φυτόν ‘ 
 
 "Ας πρώτα μεν δεϊ χρημάτων υπερβολή 
 Πόσιν πριάσθαι, δεσπότην τε σώματος 
 Λαβεϊν' κακόν γάρ τονδ’ ετ άλγιον κακόν, 
 
 Κάν τφδ’ αγών μέγιστος, -η κακόν λαβεϊν 
 "Η χρηστόν. Ού γάρ ευκλεείς άπαλλαγαι 
 Γυναιξιν, ούδ’ οΐον τ ά%σ)σασθαι πόσιν. 
 
 Ει’ς καινά δ’ήθη καί νόμους άφιγμένην 
 Δει μάντιν είναι, μή μαθονσαν οϊκοθεν , 
 
 Ότφ μάλιστα χρήσεται συνευνέτη. 
 
 ***** 
 
 Αέγουσι δ’ ημάς, ώς άκινδννον βίον 
 Δώμεν κατ’ οίκους, οι δε μάρνανται δορί 
 Κακώς φρονοϋντες ' ώς τρις αν πάρ’ ασπίδα 
 Στηναι θέλοιμ ’ αν μάλλον ή τεκεϊν άπαξ. 
 
 231-251. 
 
 Μ 
 
162 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 But you appear to me, however, to doubt that these 
 things were so. 
 
 Menippus. Why, is not one allowed to have any sort of 
 doubt in these cases, Teiresias; but, like some simpleton 
 who doesn’t inquire into the truth, must one receive them 
 as gospel, whether they are possible or not P 
 
 Teiresias. Do you not, pray, believe other things to have 
 so happened as they are related —when, for example , you hear 
 that certain persons have been changed from women into 
 birds, or trees, or quadrupeds ; into Philomela, 1 or Daphne, 
 or the daughter of Lycaon ? 
 
 Menippus. If ever I come across them, I shall know—what 
 they say. But you, my fine Sir, when you were a woman, 
 did you play the prophet then, as afterwards, or did you 
 learn to be man and prophet at the same time ? 
 
 Teiresias. Just see. You are ignorant of everything that 
 concerns me—how I put an end to a certain quarrel among 
 the gods, and how Hera blinded me, in consequence ; and 
 how Zeus consoled me for my misfortune by the gift of 
 prophecy. 2 
 
 Menippus. Do you still stick to your lies, Teiresias ? 
 However, you do so quite in prophetic style ; for it is the 
 custom of you people to say nothing rational or true. 3 
 
 1 For the tragic and frightful story of Philomela (from which Shak- 
 spere,or whoever was the author, derived the idea of the tragedy of Titus 
 Andronicus), see Ov. Met. vi. 424-676. For Daphne, Met. vi. 205, and 
 θ. Δ. ii., xv. For the daughter of Lycaon (the impious king who 
 served up human flesh to Zeus during his wanderings in Arkadia), 
 Callisto, see Met. ii. 496. 
 
 2 See Ov. Met. iii. 333-338 :— 
 
 gravius Saturnia facto, 
 
 Nec pro materia fertur doluisse ; suique 
 Judicis seterna damnavit lumina nocte, etc. 
 
 3 Cf. Aristoph. Όρνιθες, 960-991 ; Juv. vi. 512-591; Apul. De Aur. 
 Asino ; Lucian, 'Αλέξανδρος, Νίγρινος, etc. 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 163 
 
 XXIX. 
 
 AGAMEMNON INQUIRES OF (TELAMONIAN) AIAS THE REASON OF 
 
 HIS LATE COOL RECEPTION OF ODYSSEUS, WHEN HE CAME 
 
 DOWN TO LEARN THE FUTURE FROM TEIRESIAS. AIAS JUS¬ 
 TIFIES HIS HOSTILE FEELING BY ALLEGING THE CONDUCT OF 
 
 ODYSSEUS TO HIM, IN THE MATTER OF THE COMPETITION FOR 
 
 THE ARMS OF ACHILLEUS. 
 
 Aias fund Agamemnon . l 
 
 Agamemnon. If yon in a fit of madness, Aias, killed 
 yourself, and intended also to murder us all, why do you 
 blame Odysseus; and, the day before yesterday, why did 
 you not even look at him, when he came to consult the 
 oracle, or deign to address a word to your old comrade 
 and companion, but haughtily passed him by with huge 
 strides ? 2 
 
 Aias. With good reason, Agamemnon; for he was the 
 actual and sole cause of my madness, seeing that he put 
 himself in competition with me for the arms. 
 
 Agamemnon. And did you consider it your right to be 
 unopposed, and to lord it over all without the toil of 
 contest ? 
 
 Aias. Yes, indeed, in such respect; for the suit of armour 
 was my own, as it was my uncle’s. 3 Indeed, you others, 
 though far superior to him , declined the contest for your¬ 
 selves, and yielded the prize to me ; whereas the son of 
 Laertes, whom I often saved, when in imminent peril of 
 being cut to pieces by the Phrygians, set himself up to be 
 my superior, and to be more worthy to receive the arms. 
 
 Agamemnon. Blame Thetis, then, my admirable Sir, 
 who, though she should have delivered over the heritage of 
 
 1 Cf. Όδ. 542-563 ; Soph. Αίας, 1355 ; Ον. Met. xiii. 1-398, where, at 
 the close of the lengthy harangues of the rival competitors, Odysseus 
 prevails, 
 
 “ fortisque viri tulit arma disertus.” 
 
 2 The Homeric phrase— μακρά βφάς. 
 
 3 Peleus: Telamon and lie being brothers. 
 
164 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 the arms to yon as her relative, took and deposited them 
 for general competition. 
 
 Aias. No, but Odysseus, who was the only one to put 
 himself forward as claimant. 
 
 Agamemnon. It is excusable, if, human as he was, he had 
 great longing after glory, a very pleasant acquisition, for 
 the sake of which every one of us, also, underwent dangers ; 
 seeing, too, he conquered you, and that before Trojan 
 judges. 
 
 Aias. Jknow what Goddess gave sentence against me: but 
 it is not allowed one to say anything true regarding the 
 divinities. But as for your Odysseus, however, I could 
 not by any means cease from hating him, Agamemnon ; not 
 even if Athena herself should enjoin it upon me. 1 
 
 XXX. 
 
 SOSTRATUS, 2 FOR HIS CRIMES, ABOUT TO BE CONSIGNED BY 
 MINOS TO THE TORTURES OF TARTARUS, PROTESTS AGAINST 
 THE INJUSTICE OF HIS SENTENCE ; SINCE, UPON THE 
 ADMISSIONS OF HIS JUDGE HIMSELF, HE HAD BEEN A MERE 
 INSTRUMENT IN THE HANDS OF FATE. MINOS, MOVED BY THE 
 PLAUSIBILITY OF HIS PLEA, REPRIEVES HIM. 
 
 Minos and Sostratus. 
 
 Minos. Let this brigand Sostratus be cast into Pyri- 
 phlegethon, and let the sacrilegious rascal be torn piecemeal 
 by our Chimaera ; 3 and, as for this tyrant, let him be ex- 
 
 1 Athena had favoured the pretensions of her protege. Her inter¬ 
 position at a still more critical juncture, between the two principal 
 Achaean chiefs, quarrelling for the captive girls, Briseis and Chryseis, 
 may be seen in Ίλ. i. 193-222. 
 
 2 Of this follower of Prokrustes, nothing more is known than his name. 
 Lucian (as remarked by Du Soul), from a passage in his Δ 7)μώναζ seems 
 to have written his life, and, in the Άλεζάνδρυς, he is numbered among 
 the worst criminals. 
 
 3 This divine monster, who has given to the modern languages a 
 word expressive of the fabulous or impossible, was a composition of 
 lion, goat, and dragon or serpent, as described in Ίλ. vi. 180-183 :— 
 
DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 165 
 
 posed, Hermes, side by side with Tityos, 1 and have his 
 liver gnawed, too, by the vultures. But as for you good 
 people—depart with all speed to the Elysian field, and 
 inhabit the Islands of the Blessed, 2 in recompense for your 
 just actions in life. 
 
 Sostratus. Hear me a moment, Minos, and judge whether 
 I appear to you to say what is just. 
 
 Minos. Must I listen to you again ? Why, have you not 
 been out-and-out convicted, Sostratus, of being a bad man, 
 and of having murdered a number of people ? 
 
 Sostratus. I have been condemned, it is true; but con¬ 
 sider whether I shall be, in fact, justly punished. 
 
 Minos. Very certainly you will be; if, at least, it is just 
 to suffer merited punishment. 
 
 η δ'άρ’ εην θειον γένος, ουδ * ανθρώπων' 
 
 Τίρόσθε λέων, υπιθεν δε δράκων, μ'εσση δε χίμαιρα, 
 
 Δεινόν άποπνείονσα 7 τυρός μένος αίθομενοιο. 
 
 Hesiod makes her still more formidable by giving her, like Kerberus, 
 three heads, θεογ. 319-325. The fire-breathing monster, we are in¬ 
 formed by that poet, was killed by Bellerophon and Pegasus. It was 
 thenceforth settled (according to Virgil, Mn. vi. 288) at the entrance to 
 Orcus, the most dreaded of the infernal terrors. So Ov. Tristia , iv. 7. 
 Cf. Lucretius, De Her. Nat. v. 904-906. 
 
 1 Tityos, one of the chief criminals in Tartarus, was the gigantic son 
 of Zeus or of Gaia, and had his habitation in the island of Eubcea. It 
 was an attempted outrage on Leto, or her daughter Artemis, which en¬ 
 tailed upon him his tremendous penalty in Tartarus, where, like Milton’s 
 Satan, he lay “ stretched out huge in length ” :— 
 
 Viscera prmbebat Tityos lanianda, novemque 
 Jugeribus distentus erat. (Ov. Met. iv. 456.) 
 
 Cf. Lucretius, iii. 984-994; Virg. Mn. vi. 595 ; Statius, Tkebais i. 
 Apollod. i. 4. 1. 
 
 2 For a description of the Homeric Paradise, see Όδ. iv. 565-570 :— 
 
 Ty 7 rep ρηίστη βιοτή πεΧει άνθρώποισιν' 
 
 Ού νιφέτος ουτ άρ χειμών ποΧνς, ούτε πότ δμβρος, κ. τ. X. 
 
 Cf. Hesiod, Έρ. καί Ήμ, 170-174; Pindar, ’ΟΧ. η. 109:— 
 
 Τσον δε ννκτεσσι αίεί, 
 
 "Ίσα δ’εν άμεραις άΧι — 
 ον εχοντες, άπονέστερον 
 ΈσθΧοί νεμονται βίο — 
 τον. 
 
 See Mn. vi. 743; Ον. Amor. ii. 6, 49-58; Plato, Φαίδων ; Lucian, 
 Περί θυσιών ; ΆΧήθ. Τ στ. ii., and a charming description in an epigram 
 in the Anthologia Grceca, addressed to ΙΙρώτη :— 
 
 Ούκ εθανες, ΠρωΓί?, μετεβης δ’ες άμείνονα χώρον, κ. τ. X. 
 
166 
 
 DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD. 
 
 Sostratus. However, answer me, Minos : for I will put 
 briefly a certain question to you. 
 
 Minos. Speak, let it only not be long, that we may pass 
 judgment on the rest of them forthwith. 
 
 Sostratus. Whatsoever actions I performed in my life, 
 whether did I do them, of my own free will, or had they 
 been spun out for me by the Fate? 1 
 
 Minos. By the Fate, to be sure. 
 
 Sostratus. Well, then, did all of us who have the repu¬ 
 tation of being good or bad, do those actions of ours as 
 subservient to her ? 
 
 Minos. Certainly to Klotho, who appoints to each one at 
 birth what he is to do. 
 
 Sostratus. If, then, a man, forced by another, should 
 murder some one, having no power of resisting his com¬ 
 pulsion, such as a public executioner or an officer of the 
 guard—the one obeying the judge, the other the prince— 
 whom would you charge with the murder ? 
 
 Minos. It is clear one would have to charge the judge or 
 prince; since it is not the sword itself we must accuse , 2 for 
 that, as the instrument for his rage, is merely the minister 
 of him who first gave the occasion for its use. 
 
 Sostratus. Bravo, Minos, for giving more forcible illus¬ 
 tration to my instance.—And if a man, when his master 
 sends him, comes in place of his master, with gold or silver, 
 to wffiom must one attribute the favour, or whom must one 
 register as the benefactor ? 
 
 Minos. The sender ; for the carrier is an agent merely. 
 
 Sostratus. Do you see, then, how unjustly you act in 
 
 1 Namely Klotho, the Μοφα whose particular province it was to 
 unwind or spin out the thread of human existence, whence her name. 
 See Έλεγχομ. She occupies a prominent place in the Κατάπλους' ί) 
 T νραννος. Cf. Χάρων. 13, 14; Χεκρ. Δ/αλ. xix. ad fin. 
 
 2 “ Lucian seems to make sarcastic allusion to a religious ceremony 
 of the Athenians at the festival of the B ονφονία (“ Ox-Murder ”), when 
 the priest-butcher of the cow or ox fled for his life ; while the axe, by 
 which the murder was effected, was brought to trial and condemned as 
 the guilty accomplice. This subject may be seen described at length in 
 Meursius, and Castellanus on the Hellenic Festivals.”—Jens. This very 
 significant survival of early sacrificial ritual took place at the Dipolia 
 (“Festival of Zeus”). See Aristoph. N ε<ρ. 985, 986. Cf. Porphyry, 
 ITtpi της Εποχής. 
 
DIALOGUES OP THE DEAD. 
 
 167 
 
 punishing us, who are simply ministers and agents, in 
 respect of the orders of Klotho, and in rewarding those 
 who are only ministers of the good deeds of others ? For, 
 surely, no one could maintain this, at all events—that it was 
 possible to resist commands imposed with the whole force 
 of necessity. 1 
 
 Minos. My friend Sostratus, you might see many other 
 things, too, which are not to be squared with Reason 
 exactly, if you inquire with any diligence. But, however, 
 you will derive this advantage from your questioning—that 
 you appear to be not only a brigand, but also a sort of 
 sophist.—Let him go, Hermes, and let him receive no 
 further punishment. (To Sostratus .) Beware, however, 
 that you don’t put the rest of the Dead up to propounding 
 questions of a like kind. 
 
 1 This sort of special pleading has been most wittily used by Lucian 
 in his Ζευς ’Ελεγχόμενος. For a memorable instance of this appeal to 
 “ Necessity, the tyrant’s plea,” see, in the Letters of Phalaris, the defence 
 of himself by the famous tyrant of Agrigentum (for his treatment of the 
 constructor of the brazen bull, and of his other victims), addressed to 
 the Athenians, in which he adopts the highly convenient doctrines of 
 Predestination and “ fixed Fate,” advanced by Sostratus. 
 
ZEUS THE TRAGEDIAN. 
 
 [Zeus, gloomy and in tragic distress, is implored by 
 Hermes and Athena to divulge the cause of his melan¬ 
 choly condition ; while Hera, true to her Homeric character, 
 confidently attributes it to another earthly amour. The 
 king of gods and men, thus adjured, announces the true 
 reason of his anxiety—daring assaults upon the character 
 of himself and the rest of the Olympian divinities, and, in 
 fact, denial of their very existence, by the skeptics, repre¬ 
 sented by an Epikurean philosopher named Damis ; and the 
 weakness of the arguments of their over-zealous apologists, 
 the Stoics, represented by a champion named Timokles: 
 which all-important controversy he had chanced to over¬ 
 hear when present, on the day preceding, at a sacrificial 
 feast given to the Gods at Athens. 
 
 He proceeds to request the opinions of the three divini¬ 
 ties upon the best course to be pursued, in the emergency. 
 Hera and Hermes propose a Council of the Gods; Athena, 
 a private settlement of the business. The former opinion 
 prevails, and Zeus directs Hermes to summon the rest of 
 the Gods to a general Council, which the Olympian herald 
 proceeds to do in the orthodox Homeric style, after some 
 reluctance on account of his want of poetic skill, and in 
 face of the discouraging example of Apollo, whose pro¬ 
 phetic utterances (in verse) had become the object of so 
 much ridicule. Some difficulty arises, at the outset, on 
 the question of precedence, both because (the representative 
 statues of the divinities being variously formed of gold, 
 silver, ivory, and bronze) it was a question whether it 
 should be decided by the material, or by the excellence of 
 
ZEUS THE TRAGEDIAN. 
 
 169 
 
 the workmanship; and, also, by reason of the numerous 
 recent additions to their august body. Zeus rules that 
 gold must have the preference. By this decision the old- 
 established, genuine Hellenic divinities find themselves 
 forced to give way to the novi homines , not without much 
 and protracted squabbling. In the end, by the ruling of 
 the president, the members of the celestial Senate have to 
 take their places promiscuously, on the principle of “ first 
 come first served.” 
 
 Silence having been secured, Zeus rises to open the 
 deliberations. An unaccustomed nervousness and hesita¬ 
 tion threaten to spoil his exordium , and even to ruin every¬ 
 thing, by raising suspicion of the soundness of their cause. 
 At length, at the suggestion of Hermes, discarding the 
 well-worn Homeric exordium , he opens in the words of a 
 famous oration of Demosthenes. He sets forth the cause 
 of the summoning of the Council, and reports the circum¬ 
 stances which led to his presence at the dispute between 
 the Epikurean and Stoic champions, in the Painted Porch 
 at Athens, and its fortunate interruption at a critical 
 moment by the pressure of the crowd, with its consequent 
 adjournment. The Gods, whom age and standing permit, 
 are then invited to deliver their several opinions upon the 
 course of action to be adopted. Momus, the Censor of the 
 Olympian Court, rises, and, with his usual candour, affirms 
 that the objections and arguments of their avowed enemies 
 are not at all to be wondered at; and, in fact, himself 
 points to the prevalence of injustice and cruelty, the 
 triumph of the bad, and the oppression and sufferings of 
 the good on the Earth. He takes occasion to ridicule the 
 studied ambiguity and obscurity of Apollo and his oracular 
 prophecies, and the mischiefs arising from them ; and next 
 criticises the policy which admitted so many strange and 
 outlandish divinities to the rights of Olympian Godship. 
 
 Poseidon and Apollo next address the Council; the 
 former voting for violent and summary measures—nothing 
 less, in fact, than the destruction of Damis by a thunderbolt; 
 in whifch opinion (later) he is vigorously supported by 
 Herakles. The latter calls attention to the inferiority, and 
 confused and illogical method, of their apologist, and advises 
 that an associate-advocate be supplied to him, to whom alone 
 
170 
 
 ZEUS THE TRAGEDIAN. 
 
 it should be allowed to speak, Timokles acting merely as his 
 prompter. The opportunity is not lost by Momus for sar¬ 
 castic allusion to Apollo’s own confused prophetical style; 
 and, ridiculing the proposition of an associate-advocate, he 
 calls upon him opportunely to give some ex tempore speci¬ 
 mens of his oracular faculty. Thus urged, with much 
 reluctance and diffidence Apollo complies, to the great 
 entertainment of his censor. At this juncture there arrives 
 in hot haste, fresh from the yesterday’s scene of verbal 
 conflict at the Painted Porch, Hermagoras, a statuary, who, 
 like the Ephesian town-clerk, may be supposed to have 
 been a not entirely disinterested well-wisher to the Olym¬ 
 pian Establishment. In iambic verse he announces the 
 approaching renewal of hostilities, in the oracular strain so 
 dear to Apollo, and so well known to readers of Herodotus, 
 of the ’ Ορνιθες and Ιππείς of Aristophanes, and of Lucian. 
 
 The Celestials arrange themselves in attitudes of eager ex¬ 
 pectancy ; and the verbal duel below begins with a vitupera¬ 
 tive onslaught (in which controversial virtue Zeus recognizes 
 their champion’s strength to lie) on the part of Timokles, and 
 a dispute on the question upon which of the two rested the 
 onus prohandi. This being settled, at length, by the con¬ 
 cession of Damis in favour of his opponent, the combatants 
 engage in earnest. As the fortune of the day seems to 
 incline to this side or that, the celestial spectators express, 
 chorus-like, their hopes or fears—the latter, however, very 
 greatly preponderating; Momus not omitting to exercise 
 his powers of sarcasm. Timokles, after vainly throwing 
 overboard his sheet-anchor—in the shape of a remarkable 
 syllogism—takes refuge, as his opponent tauntingly ex¬ 
 presses it, at the altars. Damis, claiming the victory, now 
 retires from the scene, pursued by the vituperation and 
 even missiles and blows of his enraged antagonist. The 
 celestial clients of Timokles disperse, consoled by the re¬ 
 flection of Hermes, that, in spite of all the arguments of 
 the wicked philosophers, at all events the larger part of 
 the world, Greek as well as barbarian, will continue to be 
 on their side, and not cease to supply them with the rich 
 steams of sacrifice. Zeus, however, cannot refrain from 
 the expression of his feeling, that he would rather have 
 
ZEUS THE TRAGEDIAN. 
 
 171 
 
 one sncli able champion as the Epikurean, than a thousand 
 conquests by stratagem or force. 
 
 This masterpiece of Lucian opens with parodies (in 
 hexameter and iambic verse) of the Homeric epics, of 
 Euripides, and the tragic poets.] 
 
 Zeus, Hera, Athena, Aphrodite, Apollo, Hermes, Poseidon, 
 Heraldes, Kolossus, Momus, Hermagoras, Timohles, Damis. 
 
 Hermes. 0 Zeus ! why pensive mutter’st inward words, 
 Re-pacing, lonely, as a student pale ? 
 
 To counsel call me : cast on me thy care, 
 
 Scorn not thy servant’s chat nonsensical ! 1 
 
 Athena. Yea, thou supreme of governors, our father, 
 child of Kronos, 
 
 I, owl-eyed goddess, Trito-born, cling to thy knees im¬ 
 ploring. 
 
 Speak out, and no concealment make ; thereby we all shall 
 know it, 
 
 What plotting gnaweth inwardly thy secret heart and vitals, 
 Or what draws out thy heavy moan, and stains thy cheek 
 with pallor P 2 
 
 Zeus, (to himself.) No dire disaster, so to say, exists, 
 
 No woe so terrible and tragical, 
 
 1 These iambics parody some unknown tragic dramatist. They are 
 thus translated by Wieland:— 
 
 O Zeus, was ist dir, dass du so allein, 
 
 Gedankenvoll und griiDgelb, mit der Farbe 
 Yon einen Philosophen, auf und nieder gebst, 
 
 Und mit dir selber sprichtst ? Entdeck’ es mir. 
 
 Lass mich an deinen Sorgen antheil nehmen ; 
 
 Vielleicht kann eines treuen Dieners Rath, 
 
 So schlecht er ist, dir nocb zu statten kommen. 
 
 The English version of the hexameters has been modelled on the metre 
 of Professor Newman’s Iliad of Homer. 
 
 2 A parody of Όδ. i. 45, and Ίλ. iii. 35, and other Homeric pas¬ 
 sages :— 
 
 Auch ich, O unser Yater Kronion, der Ivbnige hochster, 
 
 Ich, die grauaugige Gottin, aus deinem Haupte gebohren, 
 
 Knie vor dir. O hore mich an ! verhehle nicht langer 
 Was am Herzen dir nagt! Was ist dir, lass es uns wissen, 
 
 Dass du so schwer erseufzest, und deine Wange so blass ist ? 
 
172 
 
 ZEUS THE TRAGEDIAN. 
 
 But Gods in heav’n must toil beneath the load. 1 
 
 Athena. Apollo ! what an overture of speech ! 2 
 
 Zeus. (to himself'.) Rascals! infernal nurselings of the Earth, 
 And thou, Prometheus ! Oh, how deep thy stab ! 3 
 
 Athena. Say, what ? for only we thy friends will hear. 4 
 
 Zeus, {to himself.) O whirr of lightning’s mighty crash, 
 w r hat now wilt thou avail me P 5 
 
 Hera. Calm your wrath, since we cannot all play comedy, 
 Zeus, like these geniuses , nor have we swallowed Euripides 
 whole 6 so as to respond to you in tragic guise. Do you suppose 
 us not to know the cause of your grief, what it really is ? 
 
 Zeus. Thou know’st not: else loud clamour would’st 
 thou raise. 
 
 Hera. I know the real source of your sufferings—a love- 
 affair. However, from force of habit I no longer make a 
 clamour, having been often before now insulted by you in 
 that sort of thing. Likely enough, no doubt, you have 
 found a Danae, or Semele, or a Europa again, and are tor¬ 
 mented by your passion, and so are planning to take the 
 form of some bull, or satyr, 7 or to become gold and flow in a 
 stream through the roof into the bosom of your mistress: 
 for these are the signs—these heavy sighs and tears and 
 pallor—of nothing else than of love. 
 
 Zeus. Silly creature, to suppose our trouble to have any¬ 
 thing to do with love and such trifles ! 8 
 
 1 Parody of opening verses of the Orestes :— 
 
 Es giebt, um alles auf einmal zu sagen, 
 
 Ivein Ungemach, kein Leiden, kein Tragodien-Ungliick, 
 
 Womit wir Gotter uns nicht placken miissten. 
 
 2 Apoll! was kundigt uns der Eingang an! 
 
 3 Kann was verruckters sein als diess 
 Pedantenvolk auf Erden ? O Prometheus! 
 
 Was hast du mir fur Uebel zubereitet! 
 
 4 Was ists denn ? Kede frei, du sprichst ja nur 
 Zum Chor von deinem Hausgenossen— 
 
 5 () du, des fiirckterlick rasselnden Blitzes Gepolter—was hilfst du ? 
 
 6 Borrowed from Aristophanes, Βαηο. etc. 
 
 7 To make love to Antiope, daughter of the Biver-God Asopus, and 
 mother by Zeus of Amphion and Zethus. She is named again below. 
 Cf. Milton:— 
 
 “ Some beauty rare, Calisto, Clymene,” etc. {Par. Beg. ii. 186), etc. 
 See Aristoph. Όρνιθες. 554-560, Ne0. 1063-4. 
 
 8 This x’esponse of Zeus, as has been pointed out, by a very slight 
 
ZEUS THE TRAGEDIAN. 
 
 173 
 
 Hera. But what else, if not this, annoys you—con¬ 
 sidering you are Zeus himself ? 
 
 Zeus. In peril dire, affairs divine are placed, and here is 
 the proverb verified, Hera, “ it now stands upon a razor’s 
 edge,” 1 whether we are to have honour any longer paid to 
 us, and to have our accustomed honours on Earth, or, in 
 fact, to be altogether neglected, and to have no reputation 
 at all. 
 
 Hera. The Earth has not produced any Giants again, 
 has it ? Or have the Titans burst their chains, and over¬ 
 powered their guard, and do they once again take up arms 
 against us ? 
 
 Zeros. Fear not: no danger threatens from below. 2 
 
 Hera. What else, pray, could there be to alarm P For I 
 don’t see, if something of the sort does not distress you, 
 for what reason you leave your proper character, and come 
 out as another Polus or Aristodemus. 3 
 
 Zeus. Timokles the Stoic, and Damis the Epikurean, 
 Hera, yesterday, from some discourse or other begun be¬ 
 tween them, were disputing on the subject of Providence, 
 in the presence of a very numerous and select audience— 
 a circumstance which especially annoys me ; and Damis 
 affirmed that neither have the gods any existence, nor do 
 they exercise any supervision at all over what happens on 
 Earth; while Timokles, best of men, endeavoured all ho 
 could to maintain our cause. At this juncture, a dense 
 mob surging against them, there was no definite conclu¬ 
 sion of the conference; for they separated, after agreeing 
 to consider the remaining arguments at some future time. 
 And now all are in a state of suspense in regard to this, 
 discussion, as to which shall have the best of it, and be 
 
 alteration of tlie first word, and the addition of the beginning of Hera’s 
 reply, may be resolved into iambics:— 
 
 Τ Ω μάκαφ 
 
 T Hrt£ εν ερωτι, καί τοιανταις παιδίαίς 
 Οίει θ'άμέτερα πράγματ είναι άλλο τί. 
 
 1 A common Greek proverb. Cf. Ίλ. x. 173 5 Theognis, 557 ; Herod, 
 vi. 11 ; Aisch. Χοεφ. 883 5 Soph.'Avr. 996. 
 
 2 A parody, perhaps, of Euripides, Φοιν. 118 ;— 
 
 θάρσει’ τά y* ένδον άσφαλώς εχει πόλις. 
 
 3 Celebrated tragedians of the age of Demosthenes. See Lucian’s 
 "Νεκυομαντεία. 16. 
 
174 
 
 ZEUS THE TRAGEDIAN. 
 
 judged to have the more truth on his side. You see 
 the danger, how our interests are altogether in a strait, 
 risked upon the ability of one man. 1 And one of two 
 things must happen —either we must he despised, and be 
 voted mere names, or we are to be honoured as heretofore, 
 supposing Timokles shall have the best of the argument. 
 
 Hera. A terrible state of things, this, of a verity ; and 
 not without reason, Zeus, were you acting the tragedian, 
 under the circumstances. 
 
 Zeus. And you imagined that, in such trouble, I had 
 thought of a Danae or Antiope !—What now, Hermes, and 
 Hera, and Aphrodite, should we do P Do you together, 
 according to your several ability, devise something. 
 
 Hermes. For my part, I hold you should summon an 
 Assembly, and refer the consideration of the matter to the 
 whole body of the Gods. 
 
 Hera. I am exactly of the same way of thinking. 
 
 Athena. I, however, have the contrary opinion, father— 
 that we don’t throw heaven into utter confusion, nor make 
 it plain that you are disturbed by the occurrence, but 
 manage this business privately, in such manner that 
 Timokles shall have the best of it in argument, and 
 Damis leave the conference an object of thorough ridicule. 
 
 Hermes. But since the contest of the philosophers will 
 be in public, these things will not be unknown, Zeus, and 
 you will have the repute of being tyrannical, should you 
 not throw open to all a discussion about matters of so much 
 importance and general interest. 
 
 Zeus. Well, then, make your proclamation at once, and 
 let all of them put in an appearance—for you are right. 
 
 Hermes. (mounting the bemad) Halloo ! I say, come 
 together, you Gods, to a meeting; don’t loiter, come all, in 
 a body, come ! we shall discuss business of great importance. 
 
 Zeus. Is it in this bare, unornamental, and prosaic style 
 you make your proclamation, Hermes; and that, too, when 
 you are summoning them on matters of highest import ? 
 
 Hermes. Well, but how, Zeus, do you require me to do it ? 
 
 1 Zeus may have condescended to borrow this expression from the 
 famous Funeral Oration of Perikles, as reported by Thucydides :— μή 
 εν ένί άνδρί πολλών άρετάς κινδννενεσθαι εν τε και χείρον είπόντι πιστεν 
 4)ήναι. ϋ. 35. 
 
ZEUS THE TRAGEDIAN. 
 
 175 
 
 Zeus. How do I require you to do it P I say you ought 
 to impart solemnity to your proclamation by some sort of 
 verse, and with poetical magniloquence, that they may be 
 induced to assemble with more alacrity. 
 
 Hermes. Yes, but such is the business of versemakers and 
 professional reciters, while I am not the least of a poet. So 
 I shall completely spoil my proclamation, by stringing 
 together verses either with too many or too few feet, and 
 shall be the object of their ridicule for my want of poetic 
 skill. In fact, I observe that even Apollo himself is laughed 
 at for some of his oracular responses, 1 although his obscu¬ 
 rity 2 conceals the greater part of his blunders , as his 
 hearers have not too much leisure for examining his 
 metrical effusions. 
 
 Zeus. Then, Hermes, mix up in your proclamation, 
 chiefly, verses from Homer, in the manner he was wont to 
 convene us. Of course, you call them to mind ? 
 
 Hermes. Not so very accurately and readily ; but, all the 
 same, I will try {much preliminary clearing of the throaty .— 
 
 Let none of Gods,whate’er the sex, fail to obey my summons, 
 Nor any River stay behind, except the stream of Ocean, 
 Nor any Nymph: but haste ye all to swell the lofty Council 
 Of Zeus, whoe’er at hecatombs illustrious are feasted, 
 Modest howe’er your rank—if mean, or even stark ignoble, 
 Come hither, all, whoever sit beside the steaming altars. 3 
 
 1 The oracles were delivered in verse. Herodotus has preserved for 
 us some remarkable specimens of these ingeniously ambiguous prophetic 
 utterances. See, especially, Herod, i. 46-56, vii. 140-144; Thucyd. ii. 
 54; and cf. the very witty parodies and ridicule of Aristoph. in his master¬ 
 piece, the Όρνιθες (960-988); Lucian, θεών Έκκλ., Άλεζ. ; Juv. Sat. vi. 
 555, etc. 
 
 2 Άσαφείας. Or, reading της μαντικής (with Jacobitz), “ oracular 
 skill.” 
 
 3 Dass kein weiblicher Gott, dass keiner vom Miinnergeschleckte, 
 Nock der Fliisse, der Sohne des alien Oceanus einer, 
 
 Noch der Nymfen sick saume! Kommt alle zu Jovis versammlung, 
 Die ihr an festlichen Tagen die Hekatomben verschmauset, 
 
 Alle, so viel’ als euer, vom ei’sten Rang und vom zweyten 
 
 Bis zu den Nahmenlosen herab, an bekranzten Altiiren 
 
 Sitzet, und gierig den Rauch vom bi’ennenden opferfett einschliirft! 
 
 (Wieland.) 
 
 Hermes is indebted, in particular, to ’Ιλ. viii. 7, xx. 7, ix. 228, xiii. 227, 
 successively, for the farrago of his parody. 
 
176 
 
 ZEUS THE TRAGEDIAN. 
 
 Zeus. Bravo, Hermes. You have performed your crier’s 
 part most admirably; aud, indeed, they are already rushing 
 together. So take and seat them, each according to rank, 
 as it belongs to him by reason of material or art—the 
 Golden in the front rank, then next to them the Silver; 
 next in due order all the Ivory ones; after them the 
 Bronze or the Marble; and among these same let those 
 of Pheidias, or Alkamenes, or Myron, or Euphranor, 1 or 
 of similar artists, have the best places. As for these rabble, 
 and inartistic fellows, let them be crammed together some¬ 
 where at a distance, and serve only to fill up the House as 
 dummies. 
 
 Hermes. So it shall be, and they shall take their seats as 
 is proper. But it’s not so easy to know—when any one of 
 them is of gold, indeed, and of many hundredweight, 2 
 but not perfect in workmanship, but plainly vulgar and 
 plebeian, and badly proportioned, shall he seat himself 
 before the bronze gentlemen of Myron, and of Polykleitus, 3 
 and of Pheidias, and the marble ones of Alkamenes ? Or 
 must we consider Art to have precedence ? 
 
 Zeus. So it ought to be ; but, all the same, preference 
 must be given to Gold. 4 
 
 1 The first of these most distinguished sculptors and statuaries of 
 Hellas and the world is sufficiently well known. Alkamenes, the most 
 eminent of the pupils of Pheidias, was especially famous for a statue of 
 Aphrodite. Myron, the sculptor of the well-known Discobolos, an elder 
 contemporary of Pheidias, was the Landseer of Greek sculptors. His Cow 
 was especially in high repute, and in the Greek Anthologia thirty-six 
 epigrams celebrate her praise. It was removed from Athens between the 
 age of Cicero and that of Pausanias. This beautiful statue survived, at 
 least, to the sixth century. Of the works of Euphranor, a native of Korin th, 
 but, like most of the great artists, resident at the “ hospitable” Athens, 
 most celebrated was his representation of Paris, of which the statue in 
 the Museo Pio-Clementino is probably a copy. See Pliny, Hist. Nat. 
 
 2 Πολυτάλαντος την ολκήν. Lit. “ many talents in weight.” The 
 τάλαντον, both gold and silver, was used as a measure of weight varying 
 at different periods. Here the gold talent, probably, is intended. 
 
 3 Polykleitus, of the Argive and Sikyon School of Sculpture, a con¬ 
 temporary of Pheidias, has been ranked second only to the Koryphteus 
 of Greek Art. The Argive was more celebrated for human , the Athenian 
 for divine figures. The most famous of his works were the Doryphorus , 
 or Kanon (as it was termed, from being held to be the ideal of the 
 human form), and his Hera. See Pliny, Hist. Nat. 
 
 4 “ An excellent trait,” remarks Wieland, “of the anthropomorphic 
 character of this Jupiter.” 
 
ZEUS THE TRAGEDIAN. 
 
 177 
 
 Hermes . I understand you to direct me to seat them 
 according to wealth and property, not according to excel¬ 
 lence and real value.—Come, then, to the front seats, you 
 golden gentlemen. (In a whisper .) The foreigners, Zeus, 
 appear to be the only ones likely to occupy first places ; 
 for you observe of what description the Greeks are— 
 elegant and good-looking enough, and artistically fashioned, 
 but, none the less, 1 all of marble or bronze, or (at all events) 
 the most costly of them are ivory, with just a little gold 
 gilding so as merely to have a surface tint and veneer of 
 that metal; but inside they are, in fact, all wooden, shelter¬ 
 ing whole troops of rats, that form regular colonies there ; 
 while Bendis here, and that Anubis there, and Attis at his 
 side, and Mithras and Meen 2 are all of solid gold, and 
 pretty costly, and no mistake. 
 
 Poseidon. Is really this justice, Hermes, that this dog¬ 
 faced fellow of Egypt should have place before me—actu¬ 
 ally before Poseidon, God of the Sea, himself ! 
 
 Hermes. Yes, but, Earth-shaker, 3 Lysippus 4 5 fashioned 
 you as a poor fellow of bronze—for the Korintliians had 
 then no gold, and that is more precious than all the other 
 metals put together. You must, therefore, submit to be 
 thrust aside, and not be angry, if a fellow with such a 
 huge snout ;> of gold has been preferred to you. 
 
 Aphrodite. In that case, Hermes, take me, too, and give 
 me a seat on the front row ; for I am golden. 
 
 Hermes. Not as far as I can see, Aphrodite: but (unless 
 
 1 Jacobitz has ομοίως, “ alike.” 
 
 2 Bendis, a Thracian divinity, whom Hesychius identifies with 
 Artemis. See Ίκαρυ-Νενίππος, 24; Strabo, x. Mithras, the Persian 
 solar divinity, represented in sculpture in a Phrygian dress, kneeling 
 on a prostrate bull, whose throat he is cutting. Meen, or Lunus, a 
 Phrygian divinity. Consult Spanheim, T)e Usu Nitmism. Por Attis and 
 Anubis, see θ. Δ. xii., N. Δ. χηί.,Ζεύς T pay., Έκχλ. θεών. 
 
 3 Έννοσίγαιε —the Homeric epithet for Poseidon. 
 
 4 Lysippus, of Sikyon, the distinguished sculptor-laureate of 
 Alexander of Macedon, whose statues in bronze (in which material only 
 he worked) are said to have been 1,500 in number. With Apelles 
 in painting, he had, in sculpture, the monopoly of Alexander’s portraits, 
 of which he executed a large variety, none of which have come down 
 to us. 
 
 5 Anubis. “Plangentis populi currit derisor Anubis.”—Juv. Sat. vi. 
 534. 
 
 N 
 
178 
 
 ZEUS THE TRAGEDIAN. 
 
 I am altogether purblind) after having been hewn out of 
 white marble from Pentele, I imagine, you then, at the 
 good pleasure of Praxiteles, became Aphrodite, and were 
 handed over to the Knidians. 1 
 
 Aphrodite. Indeed I have a very credible witness I shall 
 quote to you—Homer himself, who up and down his poems 
 calls me the “ Golden Aphrodite.” 
 
 Hermes. Why, indeed, the same Homer says that Apollo, 
 too, is very golden and rich : 2 but now you will see even 
 him seated somewhere in the third class, 3 deprived of his 
 crown by thieves, and completely robbed of the pegs of 
 his cithara. So be satisfied that even your place in the 
 assembly is not, in fact, among the lowest classes. 
 
 Kolossus (of Rhodes). With me who would venture to 
 compete, for I am the very Sun himself, and of size so 
 enormous ? 4 If, to be sure, the Rhodians had not thought 
 fit to construct me of so portentous and excessive dimen¬ 
 sions, at an equal expense they could have made for them¬ 
 selves sixteen Gods of gold. So that, by the rules of 
 proportion, I should be considered of all the greater value; 
 
 1 The Knidian Aphrodite, one of the most celebrated statues of anti¬ 
 quity, and the production of one of the most eminent of Greek sculptors, 
 perished by fire at Constantinople, in the reign of Justinian. It had the 
 reputation of being the most perfectly beautiful of the statues of the 
 Goddess, and was modelled from the famous hetcera , Phryne, who, also, 
 was the original of the equally famous picture of Apelles—the Aphrodite 
 Anadyomene (“ Aphrodite Rising from the Sea ”). Cf. Lucian, Έρωτες, 11, 
 κ. r.X. Pentelicus, an offshoot of the Mt. Parnes range, in Attica, famous 
 for its marble, derived its name from the borough of Pentele. 
 
 2 “ He is called ‘rich,’ but nowhere in Homer πολύχρυσος , which is 
 the usual epithet of Venus in Hesiod.”—He Soul. 
 
 3 } Ev τοϊς Z ενγίταις. Among the Zeugita (those who could afford to 
 have a yoke of oxen), the third class of the citizens in the timocratic 
 constitution of Solon. The income of the Zeugite was fixed at from 
 about £8 to £12 per annum. The Thetes, whose property-qualification 
 fell below £8, formed the fourth and lowest class. The Pentecosio- 
 medimnoi, who possessed a minimum income of 500 medimni or drachma 
 (about £20), were ranked in the first class. 
 
 4 He was the work of Chares of Lindus, 280 b.c. This gigantic bronze 
 statue of Apollo, one of the “ Seven Wonders,” had a height of over 100 
 feet. It was thrown down by an earthquake about fifty years after its 
 creation, and lay where it fell until the year 667 a.d., when the Saracen 
 Arabs broke it up. The extraordinary fable, so often repeated by 
 modern writers, of its striding the Rhodian harbour, originated in the 
 sixteenth century. See Pliny, Hist. Nat. xxxv. 10. 
 
ZEUS THE TRAGEDIAN. 
 
 179 
 
 and the artistic skill is to be counted into the bargain, and 
 the perfection of the work in a statue of such magnitude. 
 
 Hermes (aside to Zeus'). What must I do, Zeus ? For 
 this for me, at least, is a hard business to determine : for 
 if I should regard solely the material, he is bronze ; but if 
 I should reckon at the cost of how many thousands he 
 has been fabricated, he would be far above the first-class 
 claimants. 
 
 Zeus ( aside to Hermes). Why, what must he, too, needs 
 come here for, to reproach the insignificance of the rest, 
 and to be a nuisance to the company ? (To the Kolossus) 
 Well, but hark you, most excellent Rhodian, even if you 
 are to be preferred to the utmost to your golden rivals , 
 how in the world would you ever occupy the front place, 
 unless all have to stand up, that you alone may be accom¬ 
 modated, and occupy the whole Pnyx 1 with one of your 
 buttocks ? So you will do better to give your vote standing 
 up, and make your bow to the council. * 
 
 Hermes. Here, again, is another difficult thing. They 
 are both of them, in point of fact, bronze, and of the same 
 workmanship—each of them the work of Lysippus, and, 
 what is most important, of the same rank as to birth— 
 seeing both are sons of Zeus—Dionysus here and Herakles. 
 Which of them, pray, shall have precedence P For they are 
 wrangling, as you observe. 
 
 Zeus. We are wasting time, Hermes; whereas we ought 
 long ago to have been at business. So now let them take 
 their seats higgledy-piggledy, where each has a mind to ; 
 and, at some future time, a sitting shall be given to settle 
 that point, and I shall know then what is the rank to 
 assign to them. 
 
 Hermes. But, Herakles ! what an uproar they make with 
 their clamours for their vulgar and every-day wants— 
 “doles! doles! where is ournektar? The ambrosia runs 
 short. Where are the hecatombs ? The sacrificial victims 
 for the public ! ” 2 
 
 1 A semicircular hill, near the Areiopagus, on which the Athenian 
 ’ Εκκλησία , or Commons’ House, held its sittings. For an entertaining 
 scene at one of these sittings, see Aristoph. Άχαρ. 1-202. 
 
 2 A double satire on the celestial gourmandism and the selfish 
 policy of the imperial Roman Government in keeping the populace of 
 
180 
 
 ZEUS THE TRAGEDIAN. 
 
 Zeus. Silence them at once, Hermes, that they may learn 
 on what account they have been assembled, and drop this 
 nonsense. 
 
 Hermes. Hot all of them, Zeus, understand Greek, and I 
 am not much of a linguist, so as to make my proclamations 
 intelligible to Tartars, and Persians, and Thracians, and 
 Kelts. It will be better, therefore, I imagine, to make 
 signs, and in that way to enjoin silence. 
 
 Zeus. So do. 
 
 Hermes. Capital: they have become dumber than the 
 philosophers themselves. So it is high time for you to 
 harangue them. You observe they have been long re¬ 
 garding you fixedly, expecting what you will say. 
 
 Zeus (aside to Hermes ). Yes, but what my feelings are, 
 Hermes, I will not shrink from imparting to you, as you 
 are my son. You are aware how bold and magniloquent 
 I always was in our public Assemblies. 
 
 Hervies. I am, and I used to dread hearing your harangues; 
 most especially when you would threaten to drag up from 
 their foundations the earth, and sea, and the Gods and all, 
 by simply letting down that golden chain of yours. 1 
 
 Zeus. However, now, my son, I don’t know whether it 
 is from the magnitude of the present pressing dangers, or 
 from the number of the company—for our Parliament is 
 crowded by the Gods to an excess, as you see—but I am 
 utterly confused in mind, and am all of a tremble, and my 
 tongue seems tied. But, what is strangest of all, I have 
 clean forgotten the exordium to my speech, which I had 
 prepared for myself, so that it might have as specious a 
 beginning as possible. 
 
 Hermes (in a whisper ). You have ruined everything, 
 Zeus; they suspect your silence, and expect to hear some 
 very great calamity as the cause of your hesitation. 
 
 the capital dependent on periodical supplies for their sustenance. 
 Juvenal, Sat. x. 78-81, alludes to this policy :— 
 
 “ qui dabat olim 
 
 Imperium, fasces, legiones, omnia, nunc se 
 Continet, atque duas tantum res anxius optat— 
 
 Panem et Circenses.” 
 
 Cf. Aristoph. "Ορνιθες, 1515-1524. 
 
 1 See θ. Δ. xxi. 
 
ZEUS THE TRAGEDIAN. 
 
 181 
 
 Zeus. Would you. have me, then, Hermes, begin to recite 
 to them that celebrated prelude of Homer ? 
 
 Hermes. Which F 
 
 Zeus. “ Hear my words, all ye Gods and all ye Goddesses, 
 listen ! ” 1 
 
 Hermes. Get out with you. Those introductory verses 
 have been enough used up by you in our wine-parties. 
 But, if you like, drop the bother of metre, and do you string 
 together, of the harangues of Demosthenes against Philip, 
 whatever parts you choose, with a few variations. At 
 least, that’s what most orators do nowadays. 
 
 Zeus. Excellent, a compendious sort of oratory, and a 
 convenient and facile resource for those who are at a loss, 
 that you suggest. 
 
 Hermes. Lead off, then, at last, pray. 
 
 Zeus ('mounting the tribune). I think, gentlemen 2 —Gods, I 
 mean—you would choose before a good deal, that it should 
 be clear to you what at length this matter in truth is, with 
 respect to which you have been brought together. This 
 being the case, then, it is proper you should listen to me 
 with all attention. The present crisis, O Gods, indeed, all 
 but declares aloud in words that we must vigorously apply 
 ourselves to the matters before us, while we seem to be 
 very remiss in regard to them. Now I desire—Demos¬ 
 thenes, to confess the truth, fails me here—to explain 
 clearly to you the business about which I am so perturbed, 
 and for which I convoked Parliament. Well, yesterday, 
 as you know, on the occasion of Mnesitheus, the sea-captain, 
 offering a thanksgiving sacrifice for the safety of his ship, 
 which had been all but lost off Kaphereus, 3 we were feasting 
 
 1 u K έκΧοτε μου πάντες τε θεοί ττασαι τε θ'εαιναι .”— II. viii. 5. 
 
 2 Τ Ω άνδρες θεοί. “ The wit of this address can only be imperfectly 
 expressed in a foreign language. The general opening of Demosthenes, 
 and of all, who declaimed before the sovereign people at Athens, was 
 Ώ άνδρες ’Αθηναίοι. Jupiter, who in his embarrassment begins to quote 
 the introduction to the first Olynthiac Oration of Demosthenes, in his 
 anxiety forgot to change the words, and is on the point of addressing 
 the Gods in those identical terms. When the άνδρες is already out, he 
 bethinks himself all at once, and hence the άνδρες θέοι in the original, 
 wdiich in a Greek audience must have excited loud laughter.”—Wieland. 
 
 3 A rocky promontory off S.E. Euboea, in modern days known by the 
 
182 
 
 ZEUS THE TRAGEDIAN, 
 
 at the Pemeus, such of us as Mnesitheus invited to the 
 sacrifice. Then, after the libations, you turned your¬ 
 selves to your several occupations, each according to 
 his fancy; but I, for it was not yet very late, went up to 
 the city, to have an evening walk in the Kerameikus, 1 
 reflecting, at the same time, on the niggardliness of Mnesi¬ 
 theus, who, to entertain sixteen Gods, slaughtered only a 
 single cock, and that, too, a long since old and wheezy one, 
 and four grains of exceedingly mouldy incense, 2 so that it 
 was at once consumed on the coals, and did not afford as 
 much smoke as could be smelled by even the tip of our 
 nostrils ; and that, though he promised whole hecatombs, 
 when his ship was just being carried on to the rocks, and 
 was actually within the breakers. And, when pondering 
 these things, I find myself near the Stoa, 3 I observe a very 
 large crowd of people jammed together—some within, in 
 the Hall itself, but many in the open air; and some 
 persons shouting and vehemently clamouring, seated on 
 the benches. Guessing then, what indeed was the fact, 
 that these were philosophers of those contentious sort, I 
 had a mind to stand by and listen to what they say; and 
 (for I had enwrapped myself, as it chanced, in a cloud of 
 the densest), by disguising myself in their fashion, and by 
 letting down my beard, I had a pretty close resemblance 
 to a philosopher. Well, I say, elbowing aside the crowd, 
 I enter without being known who I was. There I find 
 the Epicurean JDamis, the practised villain, and Timokles, 
 the Stoic, best of men, disputing with uncommon vehe¬ 
 mence. Timokles, in fact, was actually all in a perspiration, 
 and already becoming hoarse, by his loud shouting ; while 
 
 Italian name of Capo d’Oro. It was the scene of the shipwreck of the 
 confederated Achaean fleet on the return from the destruction of Ilium. 
 
 1 There was an inner and outer Quarter of the Potters. The former, 
 embraced within the city, included the Agora; the latter was the 
 principal suburb of Athens. It was the inner Kerameikus that Zeus 
 chose for his walk. 
 
 2 Alkiphron, the well-known epistolary writer, a younger contem¬ 
 porary of Lucian, has the same words in a passage in Book iii. 35, as 
 pointed out by Reitz. 
 
 3 Ύήν ΐΙοίκίλην, sub. Στόαν. One of the numerous lounging Halls in 
 Athens, so called from being decorated by frescoes by the painter 
 Polygnotus, representing scenes in the battle of Marathon. 
 
ZEUS THE TRAGEDIAN. 
 
 183 
 
 Damis, making fun of him sardonically, still further 
 provoked his antagonist. Their whole argument, for¬ 
 sooth, was about us. Why, that accursed Damis was 
 affirming that neither do we exercise any providence over 
 men, nor superintend their actions; maintaining nothing 
 else than our entire non-existence, for that plainly was what 
 his argument amounted to. There were some who applauded 
 him. But the other, Timokles, took our part, and 
 fought for us vehemently, 1 and fell into a passion, and 
 struggled for us in every possible way, glorifying our pro¬ 
 vidence, and recounting with what beautiful order and 
 suitable arrangement we plan and dispose each particular 
 part. He, also, had some backers, but, indeed, he had 
 already tired himself out, and was speaking badly, and the 
 majority were beginning to fix their attention entirely on 
 Damis. I, perceiving all that was imperilled, ordered Night 
 to envelop them and breakup the meeting. Thereupon they 
 went off, after agreeing to discuss the subject fully on the 
 next day ; and I, joining the crowds, listened to their praises 
 of Damis’s arguments, while they were on their way to their 
 homes, and already choosing his side in far the larger 
 numbers : there were some, however, who thought it fair not 
 to condemn beforehand the opposite arguments, but to wait 
 to see if Timokles shall say anything to the point to-morrow. 
 
 These are the reasons for which I called you together ; no 
 trifling ones, 0 Gods, if you shall consider how our whole 
 honour, and glory, and revenue consist in men. If they 
 should be persuaded either that we don’t exist at all, or that, 
 existing, we yet are altogether regardless of them and all 
 their concerns; as far as regards the Earth, we shall be de¬ 
 prived of victims, dignity, or honour, and we shall sit idly in 
 Heaven, 2 attacked by famine, as we shall be deprived of the 
 benefits of those feasts of theirs, and their holy-days, and 
 public-games, and sacrifices, and vigils, 3 and solemn proces¬ 
 sions. AVherefore, in view of matters of such importance, I 
 say that we ought all to devise some means of safety, in our 
 
 1 Ύπερεμάχει, or “beyond his strength;” or simply “fought for us.” 
 
 2 “ Magna otia Cceli.”—Juv. Sat. vi. 394. Cf. Aristoph. Όρνιθ. 610- 
 637, κ.τ.λ. 
 
 3 ΤΙαννυχίδων (Lat. pervigilia), lit. " all-night festival, or watching.” 
 See Aristoph. Βαηο. ; Eurip. Ελένη. 1365 ; Herod, iv. 76; Plato, Πολ. 
 
184 
 
 ZEUS THE TRAGEDIAN. 
 
 present circumstances, and by what means Timokles shall 
 conquer, and be reputed to have more truth on his side, and 
 Damis be derided by the audience: for I, for my part, have 
 not excessive confidence in this Timokles, that he will 
 conquer by himself, if he do not receive some help from us. 
 Do, then, your herald’s duty, Hermes, and make your pro¬ 
 clamation according to the legal forms, that they may all 
 stand up and record their votes. 
 
 Hermes {shouts). Attention! Silence! Order! Which 
 of the full-grown Gods, 1 who are privileged, wishes to 
 speak ?—How’s this ! Ho one get up ! Ah ! you are 
 tongue-tied and dumbfounded at the bigness of the 
 message, are you ? 
 
 Momus. “ May all of you, I pray, be turned straightway 
 to earth and water.” 2 How, I, if I be allowed, at least, to 
 speak with perfect freedom, should have a good deal to say, 
 Zeus. 
 
 Zeus. Speak, Momus, with, all boldness; for you are 
 plainly going to unburden your mind freely for the public 
 good. 3 
 
 Momus. Hear then, all you Gods, what comes from the 
 heart, as they say. Why, I have been quite expecting our 
 affairs to come to this pitch of perplexity, and that many 
 sophistical fellows of this sort would sprout up against us, 
 who would get from ourselves the source of their daring. 
 And, by Themis, we have right to be angry neither with 
 Epikurus, nor with his associates and propagators of his 
 arguments, if they have supposed such kind of things about 
 
 328. A Latin poem by an unknown poet, which celebrates the vigils 
 of a lover, has come down to us with the title of Pervigilium Veneris. 
 
 1 Τελείων. “ Wer unter den volljahrigen Gottern.”—Wieland. 
 With preceding commentators Wieland erroneously supposes the limit 
 of age in the Athenian εκκλησία to have been fixed at thirty years. All 
 citizens from the age of eighteen or twenty had the right, or rather duty, 
 of taking part in their truly popular Legislature, nor was an y precedence 
 legally given to age, although by the Solonian constitution such priority 
 had in the earlier period prevailed. Plermes, in inviting discussion, 
 employs the regular Athenian formula, τίς βούλεται άγομενειν ; 
 
 2 Άλ/Υ νμεϊς μεν ττάντες ϊιδωμ καί γαϊα γένοισθε, the objurgation of 
 Menelaus, addressed to the assembled Achaean chiefs, who thought 
 proper to decline the challenge of the “ glorious ” Hektor (Ίλ. vii. 99). 
 
 3 Or, according to the common reading, “ you are well known to speak 
 your mind,” &c. 
 
ZEUS THE TRAGEDIAN. 
 
 185 
 
 us. For what, pray, would anyone expect them to think, 
 when they see such confusion in human life—their good 
 men neglected, perishing in poverty, and diseases, and 
 slavery ; while thoroughly bad and rascally men are pre¬ 
 ferred to honours, and abound in wealth, and lord it over 
 their betters ; 1 the sacrilegious 2 not punished, but getting 
 off scot-free, the innocent impaled alive, or sometimes 
 beaten to death ? Naturally, then, when they see these 
 things, do they determine thus about us, as non-existent at 
 all, especially when they hear the oracles pronounce that a 
 certain man, by crossing the Halys, will destroy a mighty 
 kingdom, 3 but don’t explain, however, whether it is his 
 own or that of his enemies he will destroy; and, again, 
 “By thee, 0 Salamis divine, children of women shall die,” 4 
 for, in fact, both Persians and Greeks, I imagine, were 
 children of women. Nay, when again they hear the epic 
 poets and reciters to the effect that we fall in love, and get 
 wounded in battle, 5 and serve as slaves, and are put in 
 chains, and engage in civil wars, and have ten thousand 
 troubles of every sort, and that, too, while we claim to be 
 blessed and incorruptible—what else can they dbthan laugh 
 at us, and justly enough, and hold our power in contempt? 
 However, we get into a rage if a few men (not entirely 
 fools) convict us of these things, and reject our providence ; 
 whereas we ought to be content, if there are still any who 
 sacrifice to us, after such scandalous behaviour. 
 
 1 Cf. Hor. Sat. ii. 1 : “Cur eget indignus te divite ?” &c., and Milton :— 
 
 “ If every just man, that now pines with want, 
 
 Had but a moderate and beseeming share 
 Of that which lewdly-pampered luxury 
 Heaps now upon some few with vast excess, 
 
 Nature’s full blessings would be well dispensed,” &c.— Comus. 
 
 2 'Ιερόσυλους. Lit. “ robbers of temples,” who, to judge from their 
 frequent juxtaposition with the worst characters, had no better repute 
 in pagan Hellas than in mediaeval Europe. 
 
 3 One of the many responses given to Ivroesus by the Delphic Oi’acle, on 
 inquiring as to the event of the impending Avar with the Persian monarch. 
 The Halys was the boundary river. See Herod, i. 53. Cf. Plut. θεμιστ. 
 
 4 Τ Ω θείη Σαλαμίς, άπολεις δε σν τέκνα γυναικών, 
 
 "Η ττου σκιδναμ'ενης Αημμτερος, ?/ συνιονσης, 
 
 the conclusion of the twelve verses of the second oracle delivered to the 
 inquiring Athenians. 
 
 5 As recounted in ’Ιλ. iii., where Aphrodite, among the rest of the 
 celestials, loses the divine ichor, “ such as spirits bleed.” 
 
186 
 
 ZEUS THE TRAGEDIAN. 
 
 Ancl here, Zeus—for we are all by ourselves, and no 
 human creature is present in this Assembly, except 
 Herakles, and Dionysus, and Ganymedes, and Asklepius, 1 
 those illegally enregistered Gods there—answer me truly, 
 if you have ever had so much care for human affairs as 
 to trouble your head as to who of them are bad, or who 
 are good. But you cannot say you have. If, in fact, 
 Theseus on his way from Troezene to Athens, as a sort of 
 diversion on the journey, had not exterminated those rascals, 
 as far as depended on you and your providence nothing 
 would have prevented Skeiron, and Pityokamptes, and 
 Kerkyon, 2 and the rest from being now alive and revelling 
 in the murders of travellers. Or, unless Eurystheus, a 
 man of old-fashioned morality and of some forethought, 
 out of pure philanthropy had investigated the condition of 
 every people, and despatched his domestic here [ pointing to 
 Herakles], an active fellow, and eager for adventures and 
 toils, little you would have cared, Zeus, about the Hydra, 
 and the Stymphalian birds, and the Thracian horses, and 
 the wanton and drunken insolence of the Kentaurs. Hay, if 
 the truth must be told, we sit here looking out only for 
 this—whether there is anyone sacrificing and raising the 
 fat steam of burnt offerings at the altars, while everything 
 else is borne down the stream of fate , swept along as the 
 chance of each directs. Accordingly, we now suffer what 
 might have been expected, and we shall suffer still, when 
 men, little by little rising up from their prostrate condition, 
 shall find that they get no profit by their sacrifices to us 
 and religious processions. So, I suppose, in a short time, 
 you will see the Epikuruses, and Metrodoruses, 3 and 
 
 1 These new “ creations,” however, were all only semi-human, being, 
 on one side, of divine parentage. Cf. Cicero, Be Biv. ii. 56, 115. 
 
 2 The two former were robber-chiefs, who infested the Korinthian 
 isthmus and the mountain-borders of Attica and Bceotia. For Sinis 
 or Pityokamptes (so called from his method of killing his captives—by 
 tearing their limbs asunder between the branches of pine trees), see 
 Apollod. iii. 16, whose unfinished Βιβ\ίοθΐ]κα terminates with a notice 
 of this conquest of Theseus. Iverkyon, a son of Poseidon, or Hephtestus, 
 and tyrant of Eleusis, was also slain by the Athenian hero. Cf. Ov. Met. 
 vii. 438-448, and "N. Δ. xxx, and see Plutarch, θίισευς. 
 
 3 The most eminent of the immediate disciples of the great master— 
 Epikurus—and destined to succeed him in the direction of the Garden 
 
ZEUS THE TRAGEDIAN. 
 
 187 
 
 Damises ridiculing us, aud our advocates vanquished 
 and effectually muzzled by them. So it should be your 
 business to put a stop to and heal such scandals, since it 
 was you Gods who brought them to this pass. As for 
 Momus, it will be no great matter to him, if he shall be 
 disfranchised; for not even in the good old times was 
 he of the number of glorified ones, while you were yet in 
 prosperity, and feasting and revelling on the sacrifices. 1 
 
 Zeus. Let us leave this fellow, Gods, who is always morose 
 and critical, to go on talking his nonsense. For, as said 
 the admirable Demosthenes, to bring charges, to find fault, 
 and to chide is an easy matter, and within the power of 
 anyone who wants to do so ; but to take measures how the 
 present state of things shall be improved, that, of a verity, 
 is the part of a wise counsellor; 2 and this, I am well 
 assured, the rest of you will do, even though this fellow 
 hold his tongue. 
 
 Poseidon. Now, I, for my part, live mostly, as you know, 
 under water, and do my business 3 at the bottom of the sea, 
 as far as in me lies and, according to the best of my ability, 
 protecting voyagers, and escorting ships, and mitigating 
 the violence of the winds. All the same, however (for I 
 take an interest, too, in your affairs here), I affirm that we 
 ought to put this Damis out of the way, before they come 
 to the contest, either by a thunder-bolt, or by some other 
 contrivance, for fear he get the better in argument —for 
 you say, Zeus, he is a persuasive kind of fellow. For we 
 shall prove to them, at the same time, how we punish those 
 who institute such critical inquiries to our damage. 
 
 Zeus. Are you joking, Poseidon, or have you entirely for- 
 
 at Athens, but he died before his master in 277 b.c. Seneca says of 
 his diet that he almost attained to the extreme frugality of his master, 
 and managed to live on something like sixpence of our money a day 
 (toto asse ).— Ep. ad Lucilium, xviii. Cf. Cicero, DeFin. ii. 28. 
 
 1 “ Momus belonged, indubitably, to the Saturnine Court of Heaven. 
 Because, however, he had never been promoted to any department in the 
 administration of earthly affairs, nor, otherwise, had made it worth their 
 while to honour him, he was, in spite of his old and genuine divinity, 
 nowhere honoured by men as his godship deserved,”—Wieland. 
 
 2 See Demos. Όλ. i. 6. 
 
 3 “ Treibe meine Geschafte” (Wieland), or simply “reside.” The 
 notion of πολιτεΰεσθαι, originally, is “ to be a free citizen.” 
 
188 
 
 ZEUS THE TRAGEDIAN. 
 
 gotten that nothing of this sort depends npon our power, but 
 the Fates spin out for each one his end—this one to die by 
 a thunder-bolt, another by the sword, a third by fever or con¬ 
 sumption ? For, in fact, were the matter in my power, should 
 I have suffered, think you, those sacrilegious wretches the 
 day before yesterday to get away from Pisa, 1 without being 
 knocked on the head with a thunder-bolt, after having 
 shorn me of two of my locks, which weighed each six 
 pounds; 2 or you, would you yourself have permitted with 
 impunity at Gerasstus 3 the fisherman from Oreus to filch 
 away your trident P Besides, too, we shall have the look of 
 being in a rage, and of being downcast about the business, 
 and of being afraid of the arguments of Damis, and for 
 that reason we shall be thought to have made away with 
 the man, and not waited for him to pit himself against 
 Timokles. So w 7 hat else shall w r e have the repute of doing 
 but of conquering in this way, by default of the enemy ? 
 
 Poseidon. Indeed, I thought I had devised a short sort 
 of cut to victory, by that method , I did. 
 
 Zeus. Get away—a very fishy idea, 4 * * indeed, Poseidon, 
 and quite too clumsy, to murder one’s adversary beforehand, 
 that he may die unvanquished, and leave the controversy a 
 drawn game, and undetermined ! 
 
 Poseidon (peevishly). Then devise something better, you 
 others, since you throw my suggestions in this way to the 
 tunnies. 
 
 Apollo. If it had been permitted by law to us, who are still 
 young and unprovided wfith a beard, to address the House, 
 perhaps I might have contributed something useful to the 
 discussion. 
 
 Momus. Our deliberation, Apollo, is about matters of 
 
 1 In Elis, in the Peloponnese. 
 
 2 From the famous statue of Pheidias at Olympia, which Pisa here 
 represents. The latter city had been entirely destroyed by the Eleians 
 in the sixth century b.c., and was never rebuilt. The theft, to which 
 Zeus refers, probably had been effected in Lucian’s day. The locks, it 
 may be inferred, were golden. 
 
 3 Gersestus was a port in the island of Euboea, where Poseidon had a 
 temple. Oreus was a town in the same island. 
 
 4 θνννώδες το ενθύμημα, which Wieland translates “ eine feine Wall- 
 
 fischmassige erfindung.” The original is “tunny-fishlike device” or 
 
 “ device worthy of a tunny-fish.” 
 
ZEDS THE TRAGEDIAN. 
 
 189 
 
 such importance, that leave to speak is not regulated by 
 age, hut is thrown open to all : for a pretty thing it would 
 he if, while we were in extremest peril, we should split 
 straws about legal qualification. And, besides, you have 
 this long while been quite legally capable of speaking; for 
 you have long ago emerged from the state of minorship, 
 and have been inscribed on the register of the Twelve, 1 and 
 are not so far from having been a member of the Council 
 in the time of Kronos himself. So don’t affect youthful 
 modesty with us, but speak boldly now your opinions, with¬ 
 out bashfulness for having to harangue the House without 
 a beard ; and that, especially, when you have a son, Askle- 
 pius, with so thick and fine-grown a one. Besides, it 
 were surely fitting for you most particularly to show off 
 your wisdom on the present occasion, unless you sit on 
 Helikon, philosophizing with the Muses, to no purpose. 
 
 Apollo. But it’s not for you , Momus, to give such per¬ 
 mission, but for Zeus ; and should he bid me, I might, 
 perhaps, say something not altogether unworthy of the 
 Muses, but befitting our meditative studies on Helikon. 
 
 Zeus. Speak, my child, for I give full permission. 
 
 Apollo. This Timokles is, indeed, a good and pious man, 
 and he has thoroughly acquired the methods of argument 
 of the Stoics ; so that he associates, in fact, with many of 
 the youth for the purpose of teaching them philosophy, and 
 he pockets no small pay upon this account; for he is 
 exceedingly persuasive whenever he disputes in private 
 with his pupils; but in a crowd he is very timid in 
 speaking, and is vulgar and provincial 2 in language, so as 
 to incur ridicule in his controversies on that account, from 
 not connecting his sentences, but stammering and getting 
 confused; particularly when, though such is his peculiarity, 
 he wishes to show off his graces of oratory. For, in mere 
 intelligence, indeed, he is acute and subtle to an excess, as 
 say those who best know the learning of the Stoics : but, 
 in speaking and expounding, he spoils and confuses it by 
 this weakness, as he does not explain his meaning clearly, 
 
 1 Dii Mojorcs, or DU Mo jorum Gentium , as they were termed in the 
 Latin Theology. They were Zeus, Hera, Poseidon, Apollo, Aphrodite, 
 Ares, Hermes, Hephaestus, Athena, Demeter, Hestia, Artemis. 
 
 2 Mt ζοβόφβαρος —lit. “ half-foreign.” 
 
190 
 
 ZEUS THE TRAGEDIAN. 
 
 but offers arguments very like riddles, and, besides, replies 
 much too ambiguously to the questions put to him , and 
 people who don’t understand him laugh outright at him. 
 One ought, however, I imagine, to speak with clearness, and 
 to pay great attention to this point especially—that one’s 
 hearers shall understand one. 
 
 Momus. You are perfectly right in this, Apollo, in com¬ 
 mending those who speak clearly, even though you do not 
 yourself altogether practise it in your oracles ; for you are 
 ambiguous and enigmatical, and safely marshal them, for 
 the most part, in a neutral position between both camps, 1 2 so 
 that the hearers want another Pythian Apollo to interpret 
 them. But what do you advise next ? what remedy to 
 apply to the feebleness of Timokles in argument? 
 
 Apollo. To supply, Momus, if by any means we can, another 
 as his mouth-piece,^ one of those clever fellows, to speak 
 suitably what the other may think out and suggest. 
 
 Momus. The remark, that, of a beardless youth with a ven¬ 
 geance, and who still needs his tutor—that his mouth-piece 
 should take his stand by his side, in a conference of philo¬ 
 sophers, to act as interpreter of the sentiments of Timokles 
 to the audience; and that Damis should speak in his own 
 person, and by his own mouth, while the other have the 
 aid of a public interpreter to privately whisper in his ear, 
 and prompt him to speak his own sentiments ! And an in¬ 
 terpreter is to act the orator, who probably even does not 
 understand himself what he hears ! How can these things 
 not be a source of ridicule for the multitude ? Nay, let 
 us consider this matter in a different fashion. And you, 
 excellent Sir—for you profess, in fact, to be a prophet, and 
 have procured no small quantity of profit for such "work, so 
 far even as before now to have received gold bricks 3 —w T liy 
 did not you seasonably exhibit to us your art, by predicting 
 which of the philosophers will come off conqueror in the 
 
 1 Έ c το μεταίχμιον , or, “ on a neutral frontier.” Wieland translates 
 “ zweideutiges zvvischen Ja und Nein.” Cf. θεών ’Εκκλησία. 
 
 2 Ζννήγορον —lit. “ associate-pleaderan ** advocate,” a recognized 
 institution in Athens. They were of two kinis—public and private. 
 See Liddell and Scott, 1883. 
 
 3 For the splendid profits acquired by the patron-God of Prophecy 
 on one memorable occasion, see Herod, i. 50. 
 
ZEUS THE TRAGEDIAN. 
 
 191 
 
 dispute ? For you know, I presume, what will be the result, 
 as you are a prophet. 
 
 Ajpollo. How is it possible to do so, Momus, when neither 
 my tripod is at hand, nor altar-incense, nor oracular fountain 
 like Kastalia. 
 
 Momus (laughing'). There! though you are caught in a 
 corner, you are for escaping conviction. 1 
 
 Zeus. All the same, my child, speak, and don’t afford this 
 calumniator here a handle for calumniating and mocking 
 at your art , as though it depended upon a tripod, and 
 water, and incense; as though, if you have not these 
 appliances, you would be deprived of the power of exercising 
 your art. 
 
 Apollo. It were better, father, to perform such functions 
 at Delphi or Koloplion, 2 with all my useful tools at hand, as is 
 my wont. All the same, even though thus destitute of those 
 things, and unequipped, I will do my endeavour to prophesy 
 to which of the two the victory will belong. But will you 
 bear with me, if I should not speak in regular metre ? 
 
 Momus. Speak, but only clearly, Apollo, and not verses 
 that themselves need a mouth-piece or interpreter; for, 
 indeed, there will be no lamb’s flesh and tortoise boiling just 
 now in Lydia. 3 But you are aware what our deliberation is 
 about. 
 
 Zeus (to Apollo, in whom the signs of the prophetic afflatus are 
 
 visible). What in the world are you going to say, my child P 
 For the preludes to your oracular deliverances—they are, as 
 it is, already alarming enough. Your complexion has com¬ 
 pletely changed colour, and your eyes roll in your head, 
 
 1 Ίον ’έλεγχον, or the rcductio ad absurdum. An allusion to the logic 
 of the Porch. Cf. ΤΙράσις τών Βίων ; Diog. Laert. ix. 22. 
 
 2 Actually at Ivlai’os, a small town near the Ionian city of Koloplion, 
 on the S.E. coast of the Lesser Asia, whence he was known as the Klarian 
 Apollo. See Δίς Κατηγ. i. and Ov. Met. i. 516. 
 
 3 To test the truth of the oracles, in Hellas and in Libya (before con¬ 
 sulting them as to the result of the impending war between himself and 
 the Persian king), Krcesus, king of Lydia, sent messengers simul¬ 
 taneously to demand of each one of them what he was actually doing 
 on the day of inquiry. The ingenious monarch, on the day fixed (the 
 hundredth from the departure of his envoys), cut up a lamb and a 
 tortoise, and boiled them together in a brazen cauldron. The Delphic 
 oracle alone gave the right answer, or, rather, the responses of the rest 
 were not deemed worth preservation. See Herod, i. 46. 
 
192 
 
 ZEUS THE TRAGEDIAN. 
 
 and your hair stands on an end, and your movements are 
 Cory ban tic, 1 and your whole appearance betokens possession, 
 and is horrifying, and mystic in the extreme. 
 
 Apollo. Hear the prophetic word divine, of me the seer 
 Apollo, 
 
 About the chilly strife of tongues, which men sharp-scream¬ 
 ing jabber, 
 
 With closely-fitted argument, accoutred as with armour. 
 By hubbub of alternate cluck, triumphant, hither, thither, 
 They many a vessel’s stern strike down, of oft-repassing 
 plough-tail; 
 
 But if the vulture’s crooked grasp, sharp-talon’d, seize the 
 breast, 
 
 Then shall the crows, who augur rain, their last forebodings 
 utter. 
 
 The mules are victors: but the ass shall butt his fleeter 
 children. 2 
 
 Zeus. Why do you thus burst out laughing, Momus ? 
 Surely the circumstances before us are no laughing matter. 
 Stop, wretch ! you will literally be choked by your hilarity. 
 
 Momus. And how is it possible, Zeus, not to be choked by 
 such a clear and transparent oracle ? 
 
 Zeus. Then be so kind as at once to interpret its meaning 
 for us. 
 
 Momus. Excessively clear and simple are the verses , so 
 
 1 The characteristic symptoms of the phrenzied priestess as she 
 delivered the responses of the God, seated on the tripod, over the 
 mephitic and intoxicating fumes which issued from the caverns of Delphi. 
 See Heliod. Αίθ. iii. 
 
 2 THo ret was Phobus, der Seller, in holier Begeisterung weissagt, 
 Liber den grausen Streit, der zwischen zwei Schreyern entstanden, 
 Die mit scharfen Sophismen bewaffnet, gleich kampfenden Dohlen 
 Gegen einander die Schnabel eroffnend, mit wiidem Gekreische 
 Hock aus der Luft die Spitze der dichten pHugsterz erschiittern : 
 Aber so bald der krummklauige Geyer die Heusckreck erfasst hat, 
 Werden die regenbringenden Krahen zum letztenmal krachzen : 
 
 AVie auch der Esel mit bockischer Stirn die Scknellfussigen Kinder 
 Anfallt, und um sich stosst; der Sieg wird dem Maulthieren bleiben! 
 
 Wieland. 
 
 Lucian’s satire on the laboured unintelligibility, and laughable 
 absurdity, of the prophetic utterances of the Hellenic oracles, is not in 
 the least hyperbolic, and was probably suggested, especially, by the 
 specimens quoted by the pious Herodotus (see i. and vii.). The άκρα 
 κόρυμβα (“ towering sterns” of the ships) is derived from Ίλ. ix. 241. 
 
ZEUS THE TRAGEDIAN. 
 
 193 
 
 + 
 
 that we shall have no need of a Themistokles : l for the divine 
 oracle says thus explicitly, that this prophet is a quack, 
 and that we are a set of pack-asses, by Zens, and mules 
 for putting faith in him, and have not even as much sense 
 as a lot of locusts. 
 
 HeraJdes. Well, father, although I am only a resident- 
 alien, all the same I, for my part, will not shrink from 
 declaring my opinion. As soon as ever they meet for dis¬ 
 cussion, then, should Timokles have the better of it, we 
 will allow the controversy to proceed in our favour; but, if 
 something untoward should fall out, at that moment I will 
 myself, if you like, give a tremendous shake to the Stoa 
 itself, and bring it on Damis’s head, so that, cursed rascal 
 as he is, he may not go on with his insolent talk against us. 
 
 Momus. Herakles, O Herakles, that is a bucolical and 
 terribly Boeotian 2 remark of yours—with one worthless 
 fellow to destroy such a number of people, and the Stoa into 
 the bargain, with Marathon, and Miltiades, and Kynaegeirus, 3 
 and all! And how, if all this perished at one blow, could 
 the orators ever again flourish their oratory, deprived as they 
 would be, of the greatest subject for their speechifying ? 
 Besides, when you were alive on the earth, it was, perhaps, 
 possible for you to effect this; but since you have 
 become a god, you have learned, I presume, that the 
 
 1 We are told by Herodotus that, upon the Athenians applying a 
 second time to the Delphic Oracle, on the eve of the Persian invasion, 
 Apollo, through his priestess, returned for answer, after other admoni¬ 
 tion, that:— 
 
 Τείχος ΎριτογενεΤ ζύλινον διδοϊ εύρύοπα Ζευς. 
 
 Μοϋνον άπορθητον τεΧέθεϊν, το σε τέκνα τ' όνησει. 
 ***** 
 
 Ώ θείη ΣαΧαμΐς , απολείς δε συ τέκνα γυναικών, 
 
 which the Athenian statesman and admiral skilfully interpreted for the 
 benefit of his country. - 
 
 2 Herakles being a Boeotian by birth. To be a native of Boeotia, as well 
 as of the Thracian Abdera, was a standing reproach. Cf. Pindar, Όλ. 
 vi. Hor. Ep. i. 244 :— 
 
 “ Vervecum in patria, crassoque sub aere nasci.” 
 
 3 Kynsegeirus, who figured prominently in the frescoes of the 
 “ Painted Porch,” was a principal hero in the battle of Marathon. He 
 was a brother of AEschylus. Cf. Herod, vi. 114. Pliny, Hist. Nat. 
 xxxix. 8. 
 
 0 
 
ZEUS THE TRAGEDIAN. 
 
 1?4 
 
 Fates alone can do such things, and that we have no control 
 over 1 them. 
 
 Herakles. Then, even when I killed the lion or the hydra, 
 was it the Fates that performed those actions through me ? 
 
 Zeus. Most certainly. 
 
 Herakles. And now, if anyone be insolent to me, by 
 plundering my temple, or overturning my statue ; unless 
 it may have been long ago decreed by the Fates, I am not 
 to knock him on the head P 
 
 Zeus. Certainly not. 
 
 Herakles. Then just hear me, Zeus, speak my mind freely, 
 for, as the comic poet 2 says, “ I am rough and ready, calling 
 a spade a spade.” 3 If such is the state of our affairs, I 
 will bid a long farewell to your dignities here in heaven, 
 and your sacrificial steam, and bloody victims ; and I will 
 go down to the infernal regions, where even the ghosts of the 
 monsters I killed will be afraid of me with my bow, 
 stripped and naked though I should be. 
 
 Zeus. Excellent! the hostile witness is found at home, 
 as they say. 4 By your suggestions to Damis you save him, 
 at all events, trouble .—But who is this coming towards us 
 in all haste, this blacksmith, this graceful, this well-formed 
 gentleman, he who is so old-fashioned in the style of wear¬ 
 ing his hair ? 0 Nay, rather, he must be your brother, 
 Hermes, he of the market-place, who stands by the Painted 
 Stoa. 6 At all events, he is besmeared from top to toe with 
 
 1 "Ακυροι (Jacobitz). "Αμοιροι (another reading) seems to be a play on 
 the preceding Moipai. 
 
 2 Aristophanes, according to the commentators, who quotes the pro¬ 
 verb in one of his lost comedies. Cf. ΤΙώς δεϊ Ίστ. Συγ. 41. 
 
 3 Ύήν σκάφην, σκάφην. Lit., “ a tub a tub.” 
 
 4 Ο’ίκοθεν ό μάρτυς. “The witness comes from home.” “Save me 
 from my friends.” Wieland translates : “ da haben wir einen Zeugen 
 unsrer eigenen familie gegen uns !” 
 
 0 'Ο αρχαίος την άνάδεσιν της κόμης. Lit. “ Old-fashioned in the 
 manner of fastening up his hair.” Thucydides informs us that the old 
 Athenian beaux almost up to the time of his writing (circa b.c. 410), 
 bound up their hair in a knot with golden cicadas— χρυσών τεττίγων 
 εν'ερσει κρωβόΧον άναδονμενοι των εν τη κεφαλή τριχών, i. 6. Cf. Aris¬ 
 tophanes, Νε<£. 971. 
 
 6 For the bronze Hermes Agoraios (“ Hermes of the Market”) at the 
 Stoa Pcekile see Pausanias, ΐίεριηχησις "Αττ. Hermagoras, the new¬ 
 comer, is this Hermes merely disguised in terrestrial form; whence the 
 paternal salutation of Zeus. 
 
ZEUS THE TRAGEDIAN. 
 
 195 
 
 pitch, by having impressions taken off him every day by 
 the statuaries.—Why, my child, have you come here at 
 such a racing speed ? Do you, I wonder, bring any news 
 from Earth ? 
 
 Hermagoras. Exceeding important news, Zeus, and 
 requiring serious attention. 
 
 Zeus. Say at once, if some new revolt has broken out 
 without our knowledge. 
 
 Hermagoras. Just now my breast and back in pitchy clay 
 By copper-working men was plaster’d o’er: 
 
 Around my body swung right ludicrous 
 A breastplate, framed by imitative art— 
 
 All as mere moulding for a copper-seal. 
 
 Then saw I crowds approaching: ’mid them two 
 
 Pallid, high-brawling, fisticuffers keen 
 
 With quibbling logic. Damis one was called, 
 
 The other- 1 
 
 Zeus. Stop, most excellent Hermagoras, your manufacture 
 of iambics—for I am aware whom you mean. But tell me 
 this, whether the clash of battle has long begun between 
 them. 
 
 Hermagoras. Hot }^et: they were still skirmishing, en¬ 
 gaging one another with light artillery, and vituperating 
 one another somewhere or other at safe distance. 
 
 Zeus. What further, then, remains for us to do, Gods, 
 than to stoop down and listen to them? 2 So let the Hours 
 remove the bars and chains at once , 3 and, dispelling the 
 
 1 “ So eben batten unsre Bildergiesser 
 Mich unter Hiinden ; sie bepichten mich 
 
 An Brust und Riicken, und ein lacherlicher Panzer, 
 
 Mit nacligeahmter Kunst mir um den Leib 
 Gegossen, driickte meine ganze Form 
 Wie ein in Wachs gedrucktes Siegel ab : 
 
 Auf eimnal seh’ ick Volk zusammenlaufen, und 
 Darunter ein paar blasse kreisckende 
 Sopkismenfeckter, Damis und ”—Wieland. 
 
 Lucian, according to his custom, parodies some verses from one of the 
 numberless lost tragedies of Euripides, or of some other Greek dramatist. 
 
 2 See ’Ικαρομενιππος, 25, where the father of Gods and men, 
 preparing to listen to the prayers of mortals, seats himself on a golden 
 throne, or seat, placed at a number of trap-doors ( θνριδις ) at which he 
 listens. 
 
 3 See Περί θυσιών, 8. 
 
196 
 
 ZEUS THE TRAGEDIAN. 
 
 clouds, let them throw wide the gates of Heaven. ( Starting 
 bach in alarm) Herakles ! What a multitude have met 
 together to hear the philosophic disputation! But this 
 Timokles does not altogether please me—he is all of a 
 tremble and confused; that man will ruin everything to¬ 
 day. It is plain, at all events, he will never be able to raise 
 himself even to the level of Damis. However, what is most 
 in our power , 1 let us pray for him. 
 
 i: In silence, to ourselves, indeed, lest Damis chance to hear us.” 2 
 
 (The scene changes from Heaven to the Stoa Pcehile at Athens.) 
 
 Timohles. What do you say, you robber of temples— 
 that the Gods don’t exist, nor exercise any providential 
 care over men ? 
 
 Damis. No, but you, first of all, answer me, by what 
 reasoning were you persuaded that they do exist ? 
 
 Timohles. Certainly I shall not: rather do you, abomina¬ 
 ble villain, reply to me. 
 
 Damis. No, indeed; you, rather, mahe answer to me. 
 
 Zeus (loohing up from his trap-door). Our friend so far 
 exhibits his wrath in much better and more euphonious 
 fashion. Bravo, Timokles! pour out upon him all the 
 vials of your vituperative powers, for in that lies your 
 sistrength ; since, in other respects, he will shut you up, and 
 make you as dumb as a fish. 
 
 Timohles. No, by Athena ! no, I will not answer you first. 
 
 Damis. Then, pray, put your questions, Timokles, for 
 you have conquered me by that oath: but without bad 
 language, if you please . 3 
 
 Timohles. You say well. Tell me then, accursed villain, 
 do you not believe the Gods exercise providence ? 
 
 Damis. By no means. 
 
 Timohles. What do you say ? Do all these things, pray, 
 go on without providential interference ? 
 
 1 Jacobitz, without MS. authority, apparently, has δυνατόν in place 
 of δννατωτατον. 
 
 2 Σιγ y, ημείων, ϊνα μη Αάμις γε πύθηται, a parody of Ιλ. vii. 195. 
 
 3 Lucian, probably, had in mind, in this altercation, the famous scene 
 in the "Νεφελαι of Aristophanes, between Δίκαιος and * Αδικος Λόγυς 
 (879, 929-934), and in the 'Ιππεϊς between Αημος and Κλίων and the 
 Sausage- Seller. 
 
ZEUS THE TRAGEDIAN. 
 
 197 
 
 Damis. Yes. 
 
 Timohles. And is the care of the Universe not placed 
 under the superintendence of any God at all, then ? 
 
 Damis. No. 
 
 Timohles. And are all things borne along at random, by 
 irrational impulse ? 
 
 Damis. Yes. 
 
 Timohles (to the audience). And so you good people en¬ 
 dure to hear this, and you will not stone the impious 
 sinner ? 
 
 Damis. Why do you incite the people against me, Timo- 
 kles; or, who are you, to be angry on behalf of the Gods, 
 and that when they themselves are not angry ? At all events, 
 they have taken no very severe measure against me, though 
 they have heard me this long time, supposing they do hear. 
 
 Timohles. Yes, Damis, they hear, they do hear, and will 
 punish you sooner or later, hereafter. 
 
 Damis. And when could they have leisure to looh after 
 me, seeing they have, as you say, so much business on 
 their hands, in administering the affairs of the universe, in¬ 
 finite in number? So that they have not even yet punished 
 you for the perjuries you are constantly committing, and 
 the rest of your crimes, on which I am silent , that I may 
 not be myself compelled to use vituperative language, 
 contrary to our agreement. Yet I do not see what other 
 greater proof of their providence they could produce than 
 by making a miserab]e end of a miserable man like you. 
 But they are, evidently, away from home, beyond the 
 Ocean, perhaps, “with the blameless Ethiopians .” 1 At 
 least, it was their custom constantly to go to them to 
 dinner ; sometimes, too, at their own invitation. 
 
 Timohles. What can I say to such shameless ribaldry ? 
 
 Damis. That particular thing which I have for some time 
 been longing to hear from you, Timokles— how you were 
 persuaded to think that the Gods exercise providential 
 care. 
 
 Timohles. Well, the ordinary arrangement of all Nature, 
 
 1 Ζευς yap επ’ 'Ο,κεανόν μετ’ άμνμονας, Αϊθιοπηας 
 
 Χθιζυς εβη μετά δαϊτα’ θεοί δ’άμα πάντες επι^ντο, 
 
 as his divine mother informs the complaining Achilleus, 'Ιλ. i. 423. 
 
198 
 
 ZEUS THE TRAGEDIAN. 
 
 in the first place, persuaded me—the Sun always holding 
 the same course, and the Moon in the same way; and 
 the revolving Seasons, and the growing vegetation, and 
 the birth of animated beings, and these same animals fur¬ 
 nished with so beautiful a mechanism, so as to feed them¬ 
 selves, and to be capable of reflection, and of movement, 
 and of walking, and of doing carpentry, and making shoes, 
 and the rest—do not these things appear to you to be the 
 actions of rational provision ? 
 
 Damis. You are, I take it, begging the very thing in ques¬ 
 tion , 1 for it is not yet proved wdiether each of these things 
 is effected by rational provision. But that the order of 
 Nature is such as you say I could readily affirm myself. It 
 is not, however, a necessary conclusion , to be persuaded 
 forthwith that it comes about by any intelligent contri¬ 
 vance : for it is possible that, having begun fortuitously, 
 the universe is now kept together similarly and after 
 a like fashion. But you call their orderly arrangement 
 necessity. Next, you will get into a rage, I suppose, should 
 one not follow you in your enumeration and eulogy of all 
 things that happen, of whatever sort; and in your belief 
 that they are a proof of the intelligent ordering of each 
 one of them by providential design : so that, according to 
 the comic poet:— 
 
 “ Too wretched this : another plea produce.” 2 
 
 Timohles. I don’t believe there is need of any further 
 demonstration upon this matter. All the same, however, I 
 will ask, and answer me then, do you think Homer to be 
 a most excellent poet ? 
 
 Damis. Of course. 
 
 Timohles. I believed him, then, when he declares the pro¬ 
 vidence of the Gods. 
 
 Damis. Well, admirable Sir, all persons will concede to 
 you that Homer was a goodpoet, but not that, of such matters, 
 either he or any other poet is a trustworthy witness. For 
 they care not for truth, I imagine, but for enchanting their 
 hearers, and, therefore, they charm them by their verses and 
 
 1 Αυτό που τό ζητονμενον ξυναμπάζεις. “ You are running off with 
 the thing in question.” 
 
 2 From which one of the vast number of poets of the New Comedy 
 who have perished this vei’se is taken, or parodied, is unknown. 
 
ZEUS THE TRAGEDIAN. 
 
 199 
 
 instruct them by their fables; and, in fine, use every device 
 with a view to delighting. However, I should be truly glad 
 to hear by which of Homer’s verses you were especially per¬ 
 suaded. Was it, perhaps, those in which he speaks of 
 Zeus, how his daughter, and brother, and wife formed a 
 conspiracy to put him in fetters ; and, unless Thetis, as 
 cognisant of the occurrence , 1 had summoned Briareus, our 
 most excellent Zeus would have been carried off: and actu¬ 
 ally put into prison ? 2 In return for which good offices, 
 calling to mind his debt of gratitude to Thetis, he 
 deceives Agamemnon by sending him a certain lying 
 dream, so that many of the Achteans perished . 3 Do you 
 observe ? It was impossible for him to hurl his thunder¬ 
 bolt and burn up Agamemnon there, on the spot, without 
 acquiring the reputation of an impostor. Or, is it hearing 
 these particulars that have chiefly forced you into belief— 
 how Diomedes wounded Aphrodite, and afterwards Ares 
 himself, at the instigation of Athena; and how, a little 
 after, the Gods themselves engaged in battle, and fought 
 duels, ladies and gentlemen indiscriminately: and how 
 Athena conquers Ares, as he had been, I suppose, before¬ 
 hand disabled by the wound which he had received from 
 Diomedes , 4 5 
 
 “ Luck-bringer Hermes stout defied the deity of Leto,” 0 
 
 1 Heading (with Jacobitz) ώς νοήσασα, instead of εΧεήσασα, “ pitying.” 
 
 2 See Ίλ. i. 397-406. 
 
 3 For this ούλον ύνεφον, see Ίλ. ii. 1-35, for which, among other 
 things, Plato finds fault with the poet:— Δει περί Θεών καί Χέγειν καί 
 ποιεΐν, ώς μήτε αυτούς y θήτας τψ μεταβάΧΧε εν εαυτούς, μήτε ή μάς 
 ψενδεσι παράγειν εν Χόγφ η εργφ . . . τούτο ούκ επαινεσόμεθα—την τον 
 ενυπνίου πομπήν νπο Διός τφ ’Αγαμέμνονι. Πολ. ii. Macrobius [Somnium 
 Scipionis, i. 7), and other pagan theologians, have laboured to prove that 
 there was no real deception. 
 
 4 See Ίλ. v. 310-909 
 
 ρεε δ’άμβροτον αίμα ΘεοΤο 
 ’Ιχώρ, οΐος περ τε ρ’εεε μακάρεσσι θεοϊςι. κ.τ.Χ . 
 
 “ from the gash 
 A stream of nectarous humour flowed 
 Sanguine, such as celestial spirits may bleed.” 
 
 Par. Lost, vi. 331. 
 
 For the indiscriminate battle among the Gods, see Ίλ. xx. 
 
 5 Αητοί δ’άντεστη σώκος, εριούνως Έρμης. 
 
 Ίλ. χχ. 72. 
 
200 
 
 ZEUS THE TRAGEDIAN. 
 
 or do those stories about Artemis appear to you particularly 
 worthy of credit—when she complains and is indignant 
 because she was not invited by CEneus to a feast, and 
 accordingly sends a certain wild boar, of huge size and 
 irresistible strength, against his country . 1 Is it, indeed, 
 by such narratives that Homer has persuaded you, pray ? 
 
 Zeus (in alarm , to the Gods). Bless me! how the mob shout 
 applause of Damis! while our man seems like one in 
 despair. He is certainly afraid, and is all of a tremble, and 
 evidently is on the point of throwing away his shield , 2 and 
 already is casting about how he shall steal away and escape. 
 
 Timoldes. Does not even Euripides, pray, seem to you to 
 speak with any reason, whenever he mounts the Gods them¬ 
 selves upon the stage ; and represents them as protecting 
 the good heroes, and crushing the wicked, and wickedness 
 such as yours ? 
 
 Damis. But, most admirable of philosophers, if the tragic 
 poets by so doing have persuaded you, one of two things 
 must follow: either, that you regard Polus and Aristodemus, 
 and Satyrus , 3 on those occasions, as divine; or, the very 
 masks of the Gods, and the tragic boots, and the long- 
 flowing dresses, and the short mantle, and the flowing 
 sleeves, and the false paunches, and paddings, and the other 
 things by which they give the grand air to tragedy: a 
 supposition which I presume to be highly ridiculous. For, 
 whenever Euripides, in his own person, is speaking his own 
 opinions, when the requirement of the dramatic action 
 does not constrain him, hear him declaring boldly:— 
 
 “ See’st thou this vast expanse of air above, 
 
 In whose moist arms our Earth is firmly poised ? 
 
 That, that for Zeus ; that only God accept.” 
 
 And again :— 
 
 “ Whoe’er Zeus be: for nought of him I know 
 
 But by report,” 4 
 
 and the like. 
 
 1 See Ίλ. ix. 530-550; and Swinburne’s Atalanta in Calydon. 
 
 2 The last and irretrievable disgrace of the Greek soldier. See 
 Aristoph. Σ0. 19, 23 ; and cf. Plut. Άλκιβ. 10. 
 
 3 Famous actors ; the two former of the tragic, the last of the comic 
 stage. Satyrus is said to have given lessons to Demosthenes. 
 
 4 Ορφς rbv ύψον, τύν d 'άπειρον αίθίρα, 
 
ZEUS THE TRAGEDIAN. 
 
 201 
 
 Timokles. Have all mankind, then, and all nations been 
 deceived in believing in gods, and solemnly celebrating 
 them? 
 
 Damis. Capital, Timokles, for you bring to my mind the 
 received belief among different nations, from which one 
 may most certainly be assured that their language about 
 Deity has nothing sure or certain about it. For many 
 are their confused contradictions, and some believe and 
 practise one thing, and some another. The Scythians 
 offer sacrifices to a Dagger , 1 the Thracians to Zamolxis , 2 
 a runaway slave who came to them from Samos; the 
 Phrygians to Meen , 3 the ^Ethiopians to the Day, the 
 Cyllenians to Phales , 4 the Assyrians to a Dove , 5 the Per¬ 
 sians to Fire, the Egyptians to Water. Although this water 
 is a divinity common to all the Egyptians, yet, locally, the 
 ox is the divinity of the people of Memphis, the onion of 
 the people of Pelusium, the ibis of others, or the crocodile, 
 the dog-faced baboon, the cat, or the ape . 6 Nay, more, in 
 the country districts, to some his godship is the right 
 shoulder, while to those living on the opposite side of the 
 
 Καί γην περιξ εχονθ’ νγραίς εν αγχάΧαις ; 
 
 Τούτον νόμιζε Ζήνα, τόνδ’ ήγοΐι θεόν. 
 
 Ζενς, όστις ό Ζενς , ου γάρ οΐδα, ττΚην Χόγφ 
 ΚΧνων. 
 
 Quotations from lost dramas of Euripides. See, too, 'Εκάβη, 460; 
 "ΟρεσΓ. 401 ; Τρωάδες, 846-850. Cf. the pantheism of the Latin poet:— 
 
 “ Jupiter est quodcunque vides, quocumque moveris.” 
 
 1 Άκινάκγ. See Lucianic Dialogue, Τόξαρις, 38 ; Herod, (iv. 62), who 
 relates, in detail, the mode of the horrid sacrifice to this outward and 
 visible symbol of War. 
 
 2 Cf. *Αληθ. Tar. ii. 220 ; Herod, iv. 95. 
 
 3 See above, page 177 ; and cf. Έκκ\. θεών. 
 
 4 Who is meant by “ Phales ” is conjectural. Gesner would read 
 “ Phanes,” whom Macrobius identifies with the Sun. Lehmann supposes 
 him to be the Ithypl allic Mercurius, to whom, according to Pausanias 
 (vi. 26), the Ivyllenians of Elis dedicated a temple. 
 
 5 See the Lucianic treatise, Περί της Σνρίης θεού, 33, 54 The dove 
 is said to have been symbolical of, and sacred to, the Assyrian Semiramis. 
 The Assyrians had not too much respect for their divinity. 
 
 6 See Herod, ii. 65-76; Diod. Sic. i. 84; Strabo, xvii.; and cf. 
 Juvenal, Sat. xv.: — 
 
202 
 
 ZEUS THE TRAGEDIAN. 
 
 river lie is the left shoulder; to some half of a head, to 
 others a drinking-flagon, or dish of earthenware. How 
 is all this not matter for ridicule, you charming Timokles ? 
 
 Momus (triumphantly). Did not I say, Gods, that all 
 these things would come to light, and would be minutely 
 inquired into P 
 
 Zeus. You did say so, Momus, and you rightly chided 
 us ; and I, for my part, will do my best to set these matters 
 straight, if we get clear off from this danger before us. 
 
 Timokles. But, you enemy of the Gods, the Oracles, and 
 Prophecies of future events—whose work would you affirm 
 them to be, rather than that of the Gods and of their pro¬ 
 vidence ? 
 
 Damis. Don’t say a word, excellent Sir, about the 
 Oracles; since I shall ask you which of them, in particular, 
 you would like to mention. Is it the one which the 
 Pythian returned to the Lydian, which was beautifully 
 two-edged and double-faced, such as are some of our 
 Hermte , 1 double and alike on both sides; to whichever 
 part of them you turn. For what did it mean ? That 
 Kroesus, by crossing the river Halys, will destroy his own 
 kingdom, or rather that of Cyrus ? Yet that pest of Sardis 
 purchased this ambiguous verse at the cost of not a few 
 thousands. 
 
 Momus. The man is discussing and handling pretty nearly 
 the very things, Gods, which I especially had dreaded.— 
 Where, now, is that handsome lute-player of ours ? (To 
 Apollo) Go down at once, and make your defence in reply 
 to these charges. 
 
 Zeus. You kill me entirely, Momus, by your un¬ 
 seasonable sarcasms. 
 
 “ Inde furor vulgo, quod numine vicinorum 
 Odit uterque locus, quum solos credit habendos 
 Esse deos, quos ipse colit.” 
 
 1 Heads of Hermes on quadrangular pillars which, at Athens espe¬ 
 cially, were found everywhere. So great was the demand for these 
 Henna, that they gave a name to the Art of Sculpture— r) ΐρμογλνφική. 
 See Lucian, Έννπιιον, 7. For the oracle, see above, page 185. Cf. 
 Juv. Sat. viii. 53 :— 
 
 “ Nil nisi Cecropides, truncoque simillimus Herane.” 
 
ZEUS THE TRAGEDIAN. 
 
 203 
 
 Timokles. Observe what you are about, you impious 
 sinner ; you are within an ace of overturning the very 
 seats of the Gods, and their altars, by your argument. 
 
 Damis. Not all the altars, as far as I am concerned, 
 Timokles ; for what great harm indeed arises from them, 
 so long as they are full of incense and pleasant odours only ? 
 But I should be glad to see those of Artemis among the 
 Tauri utterly overturned from their foundations; upon 
 which the Virgin [Goddess] finds pleasure in such horrid 
 feasting . 1 
 
 Zeus (guith tragic air). Whence falls upon us this insu¬ 
 perable misfortune?—for not one of the divinities does the 
 man spare, but is as free in language as a carter , 2 
 “ One after other carping at, innocent or guilty.” 3 
 
 Momus. Indeed, Zeus, you would find few innocent 
 among us; and it is just possible the fellow will proceed 
 and attack even some one of those nearest the throne. 
 
 Timokles. So, then, do you not heed or hear Zeus, even 
 when he rolls his thunders, you enemy of the Gods ? 
 
 Damis. And how could I fail to hear thunder, Timokles ? 
 But whether it is Zeus who thunders , 4 * 6 you might know 
 better than I, as you have come, perchance, from that quarter, 
 direct from the Gods. Yet some, who come from Krete, 
 tell us a different tale—that a certain tomb is shown there; 
 and that a column stands close by informing us that Zeus 
 would never thunder again, as he had been dead ages ago.’ 
 
 1 See Ιφιγένεια εν Ύανριδι of Euripides, and θ. Δ., and Lucretius, Be 
 Her. Nat. i. 80-100. 
 
 2 Έξ άμάζης παρρήσιαζεται. A proverbial expression, derived from 
 the licence allowed to the frequenters of the Dion} T siac Mysteries, who 
 travelled in their country-wagons, or from the reputation of Cartwrights 
 for Billingsgate. See Aristoph. IlXoeroc, 1014; 'Ιππείς, 462, where 
 the Chorus demand of Ivleon :— 
 
 Ο’ίμοι, συ δ’ούδεν εξ άμαζουργον λίγείς ; 
 
 Cf. Bentley’s Phalaris. 
 
 3 Μάρψει δ’εξείης, οστ’ αίτιος, δστε καί ουκί. Ίλ. χν. 137. The charge 
 of Athena against Zeus himself. 
 
 4 For a highly-hamorous scene, in which Sokrates rationalizes this 
 
 popular prerogative of Zeus, see Aristoph. N εφελαί, 394-406, and cf. 
 Ύίμων, 1-6. 
 
 6 See Ίίμων, 6, ad fin. Among the Christians, Lactantius, in par¬ 
 ticular, triumphs in this fact. 
 
204 
 
 ZEUS THE TRAGEDIAN. 
 
 Momus. This I long ago knew tlie man would say. 
 But why, Zeus, pray, have you turned so pale, and 
 why do you let your teeth chatter so with fright ? You 
 must keep up your spirits, and never mind such paltry 
 fellows. 
 
 Zeus. How do you say, Momus ? Never mind them ! 
 Don’t you see what a number are listening, and how 
 already they have been convinced, one and all, against us, 
 and how Damis has fast fettered them, and how he leads 
 them away by the ears ? 
 
 Momus. However, Zeus, whenever you care to do so, 
 you may let down your golden chain, and all of them 
 
 “Aloft you draw with Earth itself, and Sea, and all within them.” 1 
 
 Timoldes , Tell me, cursed rascal, have you ever before 
 now been at sea ? 
 
 Damis. Yes, Timokles, often. 
 
 Timoldes. Then were you not, on those occasions, carried 
 along either by the wind blowing upon the mainsail, and 
 filling out the stay-sails, or by the rowers P And did a 
 certain single individual stand at the helm, and guide and 
 keep the ship safe ? 
 
 Damis. Undoubtedly. 
 
 Timoldes. Then, I suppose, the ship did not proceed on 
 its voyage without being steered. And think you that this 
 Universe is carried along without a helmsman and ruler ? 
 
 Zeus. Capital! That argument of yours, Timokles, you 
 drove home with force by your simile. 
 
 Damis. But, 0 Timokles, cherished favourite of heaven, 
 that same helmsman you would see to be always de¬ 
 vising for the best, and fully equipping his ship before 
 the time of sailing, and giving directions to his sailors; 
 while the vessel had nothing useless or purposeless about it, 
 nothing which was not undoubtedly serviceable and neces¬ 
 sary to them for the voyage. This helmsman of yours, 
 however, whom you claim to have command of this great 
 ship of the universe , and his fellow-sailors, arrange nothing 
 
 1 A vry kep y aiy ίρνσαις, avry te Qakaaay. ’Ιλ. viii. 24. The English 
 version is borrowed from the Iliad of Homer of Prof. Newman 
 (1871). 
 
ZEUS THE TRAGEDIAN. 
 
 205 
 
 reasonably or fittingly: but the mainstays, 1 if chance so 
 direct, are stretched to the stern, while both the sheet- 
 ropes are stretched towards the prow; the anchors often 
 are of gold, the figure-head 2 of lead; the parts of the 
 ship below water are ornamented, the parts above un¬ 
 sightly. And, of the sailors themselves, you may see 
 the one who is idle, and unskilful, and without heart 
 for his work, in the position of second or third officer ; 3 
 and another, who is a skilful swimmer, and agile in 
 leaping up into the yard-arm, and who is skilled in each 
 thing pertaining to useful navigation , he is just the only 
 one you will see set to bale out the bilge-water. So, too,, 
 among the passengers, you will see some worthless fellow 
 seated by the side of the captain, in the most commanding 
 place, and being made much of; and another, some un¬ 
 natural wretch, or parricide, or swindler, honoured above 
 all the rest, and occupying the highest posts in the vessel ; 
 many persons of good taste or feeling crowded into a corner 
 of the ship, and trampled upon by those really inferior to 
 themselves. Consider, in fact, in -what manner Sokrates and 
 Aristeides made their voyage, and Phokion, who had not even 
 sufficient bread to eat, 4 5 nor even were able to stretch their legs 
 upon the bare planks along the hold ; while in the midst of 
 how many good things lived a Kallias, a Meidias, 0 and a 
 Sardanapalus rioting, and insulting those under them. 
 
 1 Πρότονος. In the Greek ship, the two ropes which were fastened to 
 the top of the mainmast, and descended to the prow : the πόδες were the 
 ropes which fastened the ends of the square sails to the stern by rings. 
 
 2 Χηνίσκος ( χήν a goose). The άκροστόΧων, or figure-head, was so 
 called from the ordinary device for the ship’s prow. It was usually pro¬ 
 tected by plates of brass or copper, and in later times of gold, and served, 
 with the ψβολοί {rostra, or “ beaks ”), as a ram against the enemy’s 
 ships. The latter were sometimes above and sometimes below the water. 
 
 3 Αιμοίρίτην ?/ τριμοιρίτην. Lit.: “ a commander of two or of three 
 divisions or companies,” or “ of a second or third part of the ship.” 
 
 4 Aifisteides suffered exile; and Phokion died (like Sokrates) by the 
 Athenian mode of capital punishment — drinking hemlock, 317 B.C., at 
 the age of eighty-five. See Plutarch. Βίοι Παρ. 
 
 5 Meidias was a wealthy Athenian citizen, who owes his fame to his 
 hostility to Demosthenes. The Kallias here referred to, presumably, 
 is the stepson of Perikles, and brother-in-laxv of Alkibiades, and the 
 host of the guests of Xenophon’s Συμπόσιον. Lucian’s examples of 
 iniquity are not always the most superlatively striking. 
 
206 
 
 ZEUS THE TRAGEDIAN. 
 
 Such is the state of matters on board your ship, most sa¬ 
 pient Tim okles; whence those innumerable shipwrecks. Now 
 if any captain were in command, and observed and ordered 
 each particular thing ; in the first place, he would not be ig¬ 
 norant who are the good, and who the bad among the ship’s 
 company; in the next place, he would suitably distribute to 
 each his proper post—the better place, up above by his side, to 
 the better men, and the lower place to the inferior; and some 
 of the superior men he would admit to his own table, and 
 appoint them to be of his council; and of the sailors, the most 
 zealous would have been appointed to the care of the forepart 
 of the vessel, or to the captaincy of the forecastle, 1 or, cer¬ 
 tainly, in a place above the rest: while the sluggish and negli¬ 
 gent would be corrected a dozen times in the day with the 
 rope’s end about his shoulders. So, admirable Sir, this 
 simile of yours of the Ship is in some danger of being com¬ 
 pletely wrecked, from having chanced upon this incom¬ 
 petent captain. 
 
 Momus. This contest proceeds swimmingly for Damis 
 now, and he is being borne onwards full sail to victory. 
 
 Zeus. Hightly do you conjecture, Momus, and as for 
 Timokles, he devises no firm and consistent method of argu¬ 
 ment : but these commonplace and vulgar proofs he pumps 
 out one after the other, all only to be easily overturned. 
 
 Timokles. Then, since my comparison of the ship appears 
 to you to be of no such great weight, listen now to the 
 “sacred anchor,” 2 as the proverb has it, wdiich you will 
 not shatter by any possible means. 
 
 Zeus (all attention). Whatever in the world is he going 
 to say, then P 
 
 Timokles. Well, you shall see if I put these arguments 
 into syllogistic sequence, and if you can overturn them 
 anyhow. If there are altars there are also Gods : but there 
 are certainly altars ; there are, therefore, Gods. 3 What do 
 you say to that P 
 
 1 Τοίχου αρχών (usually written τοίχαρχος), lit. “the captain of the 
 rowers at the sides of the ship.” See Suidas, sub voce, and cf. Διαλ. 
 'Εταίρων, 14, 3. 
 
 2 T/)v ιερήν άγκυράν — A Greek proverb denoting the last i*esouree or 
 hope. Cf. Lucian, Δράπεται, 13. 
 
 3 “This argument,” says Wieland, “is for a ‘ sheet-anchor’ (Noth· 
 / inker ) not t the strongest : but it is by no means to be supposed that 
 
ZEUS THE TRAGEDIAN. 
 
 207 
 
 Daviis (choking with laughter). As soon as ever I liave 
 laughed my fill I will reply to you. 
 
 Timokles. But you don’t seem at all likely to stop grinning. 
 Tell roe, however, w T hereabouts my allegation appears to 
 you ridiculous. 
 
 Dam Is. It’s because you don’t perceive you suspended your 
 anchor, and that, too, “ the sacred one,” upon a fine thread. 
 For, in connecting the existence of the Gods with the exis¬ 
 tence of altars, you imagine you have made your anchorage 
 secure thereupon. So, since you say you have nothing 
 else “ more sacred ” than this to say, let us at once depart. 
 
 Timokles. Do you confess, then, you are worsted, as you 
 leave first ? 
 
 Damis (calmly). Yes, Timokles; for you, like those who 
 are getting the w r orst of it, you have sought refuge at the 
 altars. So, by the “ holy anchor,” I am ready to make a 
 treaty of peace with you this moment, with a libation upon 
 the altars themselves, so that we may no longer wrangle 
 on these matters. 
 
 Timokles (in a violent rage). You say this to me ironically, 
 you plunderer of tombs, 1 you abominable villain, you utterly 
 contemptible wretch, you good-for-nothing slave, you in¬ 
 famous hang-dog—w T hy, don’t we know who your father 
 was, and how your mother got her living, and how you 
 throttled your brother, and what a debauched fellow and 
 corrupter of youth you are ; you chief of gluttons and of 
 shameless rascals.—(As Damis is retiring) —Don’t run off, 
 pray, before you have got some reminders from me to take 
 away with you : indeed, I am ready to slay you this very 
 
 Lucian would have put it into the mouth of Timokles, if the Stoics were 
 not accustomed to make use of it. It is quite of a similar character and 
 strength to the brilliant syllogism of Balbus in Cicero’s De Nat. Dcor. 
 (ii. 4): — quorum interprctes sunt, eos ipsos esse ccrte necesse est : 
 Deorum autem interpretes sunt: Deos igitur esse fateamur.” 
 
 1 Τυμβωρύχε. Lit. “ digger into tombs.” Cf. Aristoph. Βαηο. 1147, 
 The tombs, as being often the receptacles of valuable treasures, were 
 a common and rich hunting-ground of robbers, if, at least, we may trust 
 the Romances of the fifth and sixth centuries a.d. Hence the impre¬ 
 cations on desecrators of them, inscribed on many of the slabs. Slaves 
 sometimes were set to keep guard. See Νι γρίνος, 30. Tor a display 
 of the vituperative powers of the Greek vocabulary see Aristoph. N ε<ρ. 
 444-450, and elsewhere. 
 
208 
 
 ZEUS THE TRAGEDIAN. 
 
 moment with this potsherd here, superlative villain that 
 you are ( throwing the missile at him). 
 
 Zeus. One of them, 0 Gods! is running away in fits of 
 laughter; and the other pursues him with vituperation, as 
 he cannot endure Damis’s making merry over him : indeed, 
 he seems actually about to strike him over the head with 
 his potsherd. And we—what are we going to do hereupon ? 
 
 j Hermes. The comic poet appears to me to have rightly 
 said, 
 
 “ Don’t own defeat, you’ve suffer’d then no harm.” 1 
 
 For, indeed, what mighty evil is it, if a few men go away 
 convinced of these things P For those who hold the con¬ 
 trary opinion are sufficiently numerous—the greater part 
 of the Greeks (the mass of the people, and the rabble), and 
 all the non-Greek peoples. 
 
 Zeus. However, Hermes, that saying of Dareius, which 
 he uttered in the case of Zopyrus, is exceedingly good. 
 So, too, I myself would have wished to have one such as 
 Damis, as an ally, rather than the possession of ten thousand 
 Babylons. 2 
 
 1 Ούδεν πίπονθας δεινόν , αν μή προσποιη. Λ fragment of Menander. 
 Προσποιεϊσθαι, “ to affect not to notice,” is used by Thucyd. iii. 47, and 
 by Theophrastus in a passage in the Χαρακτήρες quoted by Arnold. 
 ( Thucydides , i. 496.) 
 
 2 Zopyrus, a Persian noble in the army of Dareius besieging Babylon, 
 having voluntarily mutilated himself in a frightful manner, fled to the 
 enemy, pretending that he had escaped from the atrocities of the 
 Persian king. After the betrayal and slaughter of several thousands of 
 his countrymen—with the consent of his master—for the purpose of 
 still further deceiving the Babylonians, he at length found his oppor¬ 
 tunity for delivering the city to the Persians. Upon which event, the 
 despot is reported to have condescended to remark, that he would have 
 foregone the possession of twenty Babylons rather than that his devoted 
 slave should have inflicted so much injury upon himself. See Herod, iii. 
 153-160. It is evident that Lucian does not think himself bound, in 
 every case, to repeat with the strictest accuracy the on dits of 
 History. 
 
THE CONVICTED ZEUS . 1 
 
 [Cyniskus, a Cynic philosopher (as his name imports), en¬ 
 couraged by Zeus to ask a favour, protests that his request 
 will be a very modest one and very easy to grant: he is not 
 
 1 Ζευς Έλεγχομευος —■“ Zeus Convicted,” “ Confuted,” or “ Cross- 
 Examined.” Of this Dialogue Wieland remarks :—“ Never, probably, 
 had any writing a more appropriate title than this, in which Jupiter, 
 in a tete-a-tete , is forced by the straightforward and undaunted Cynic, 
 in a way such as, probably, he had never yet experienced from any son 
 of Earth, to confess the truth. The worst blow, to which dogmas, that 
 are not grounded upon Reason, can be submitted, is when one holds up 
 their mutual contradictions to the light. One spares oneself, by this 
 means, the trouble of refutation, and can calmly see them, like the 
 armed men sown by Kadmus, annihilate themselves. This is the spec¬ 
 tacle which Lucian gives its, in this Dialogue , in his best manner. 
 
 “ The inconsistencies of the Pagan doctrines of a Fate, of the Provi¬ 
 dence of their Gods, and of the system of Rewards and Punishments 
 after death, appears in it in a light, by whose brilliance Jupiter himself 
 is quite dazed and reduced to silence ; or, what is still moi*e humiliating, 
 to so miserable a shift, that Cyniscus himself, at last, out of mere pity, 
 and content with having deprived him, after complete overthrow in open 
 field, of his power, his dignity, and his kingdom, and leading him in 
 triumph mortally wounded, presents him with his life for so long as in 
 the course of Nature it might be expected to last. The questions which 
 he lays before Jupiter had, in fact, been already debated in the Jupiter 
 in Tragedy , between Damis and Timokles, not to the advantage of the 
 party of the Gods. But Lucian, as it seems, held it to be necessary to 
 deliver a last decisive assault. Jupiter had to be driven out altogether 
 from his last lurking-holes, and to be convicted of his wicked deeds so 
 completely, that the most shameless sycophant must blush any longer 
 to undertake his defence. This it is, that Lucian, as it seems to me, in 
 this little Dialogue, in so masterly a way, and with so much fineness of 
 touch, manages to effect, that I know no more complete example of the 
 transformation of the antipodes of reason (as Homer expresses it) ‘ into 
 earth and water.’ ” 
 
 P 
 
210 
 
 THE CONYICTED ZEUS. 
 
 going to petition for wealth or power, bub simply for en¬ 
 lightenment on certain perplexing points of theology and 
 metaphysics. He begins with a request to be informed as 
 to the truth of the statements of Homer and Hesiod 
 respecting the Fates, and their absolute control over human 
 life. Zeus assures him of their omnipotence. The apparent 
 contradictions of the Hellenic Scriptures are easily ex¬ 
 plained by the circumstance that their inspiration had not 
 been constant : that, when those theologian-poets spoke of 
 their own free motion, they were, like ordinary mortals, 
 liable to error ; but everything uttered by them under 
 direct inspiration of the divinities is entirely to be received. 
 
 Cyniskus then inquires whether Zeus himself acknow¬ 
 ledges subjection to the Fates, to Chance or Fortune (also 
 the object of the popular Creed) ; and, upon the assent of 
 the “ King of Gods and men,” he proceeds to quote the 
 well-known passage' in the Iliad on the “ Golden 
 Chain,” and, sarcastically, remarks that the Fates themselves 
 more justly might boast of suspending Mm in mid-air. 
 Becoming more and more uneasy at every new question, 
 Zeus professes himself to be at a loss to divine at what his 
 interlocutor is driving. Hor is his alarm without some 
 reason, since the Cynic next inquires the purpose of the 
 hecatombs of slaughtered victims for the altars, and of all 
 the costly sacrifices ? Instead of direct reply, Zeus takes 
 occasion to denounce the philosophers and sophists, and their 
 well-known impiety. Pressed on the question of utility, 
 he defends the sacrificial system upon the pretext of its 
 being an outward and visible sign of respect and honour 
 on the part of men for what is greater and nobler than 
 themselves. To which the Cynic retorts that one of these 
 wicked philosophers might be disposed to ask in what con¬ 
 sists the superiority of the Gods, seeing that they are sub¬ 
 ject and subordinate to Fate : for the accident of “immor¬ 
 tality,” so far from being an advantage, retains them in 
 everlasting servitude. Nor, if the Hellenic theology was 
 to be believed, could it be said that all divinities are in 
 enjoyment of so much happiness—a position which Cyniskus 
 illustrates by some conspicuous examples. Zeus now resorts 
 to indirect menaces, and angrily hints at some supernatural 
 punishment of the audacious sceptic : but the philo- 
 
THE CONVICTED ZEUS. 
 
 211 
 
 sopher calmly expresses his confidence that he can suffer 
 nothing which has not been, by the Fates or Destiny, fore¬ 
 ordained. Besides, he observes that not even the most 
 audacious insulters of the Gods themselves—the many 
 plunderers of their temples—seem to be any the worse off 
 for their sacrilege, while the innocent frequently fall victims 
 to the indiscriminating thunderbolts. 
 
 Driven to bay, the champion of the orthodox Olympian 
 theology reprobates the philosopher as one of those who 
 are for destroying all idea of a divine providence ; Cyniskus 
 inquires who or what is Providence, and how exercised, and 
 is told that he is becoming grossly impertinent ; but he 
 extracts the reluctant admission that the Gods, after all, 
 are nothing but the agents and ministers of Destiny. Zeus, 
 however, attempts to rescue himself and his colleagues from 
 the consequent position of utter superfluousness and con¬ 
 tempt by claiming credit for oracles and prophecies. The 
 Cynic retorts, of what use are warnings against the inevitable 
 —to say nothing of the ambiguous and misleading cha¬ 
 racter of these divine oracles. Zeus makes some feeble 
 attempt at an apology, and then, not obscurely, threatens 
 the dernier ressort of the most forcible of his arguments—the 
 thunderbolt. Cyniskus tauntingly remarks that what is 
 fated is fated—and he is quite prepared to receive the in¬ 
 evitable. He wishes to know how it happens that such 
 men as Aristeides, Sokrates, Phokion, suffered, while the 
 tyrants of the world, for the most part, have been allowed 
 to flourish. That is easily answered, rejoins the king 
 of Gods, for are not men to receive their deserts in a future 
 life ? His unrelenting tormentor retorts once more that, 
 for his part, he would rather escape certain misery and 
 suffering in this life than have the offer of not altogether 
 certain happiness in another state of existence. But, con¬ 
 tinues the Cynic, if Fate or Predestination, ordain and 
 control everything, how, in fine, can there be any logical 
 place for a Minos to distribute rewards and punishments ? 
 Zeus disdains to answer so captious a question, and 
 stigmatizing his satirical examiner as impudent and sophis¬ 
 tical, abruptly leaves him. As a parting shot, the 
 Cynic bawling after him desires to learn, particularly, 
 where, after all, these Fates are to be found—or how they 
 
212 
 
 THE CONVICTED ZEUS. 
 
 manage to transact so enormous an amount of business, with 
 their extremely limited number, and ventures to think that 
 they themselves must have been born under a not too 
 propitious destiny. As for himself, he professes himself 
 quite satisfied with the information he has extracted from 
 the highest authority, and contents himself with the reflec¬ 
 tion, that, as for the points upon which he had failed to 
 receive information, it was, apparently, not in “the fates ” 
 that he should be enlightened.] 
 
 Zeus, Cyniskus . 
 
 Cyniskus (with ivcillet and tattered cloak). I will not 
 trouble you, Zeus, about such matters—asking for wealth, 
 gold, and kingdoms, which are objects most fervently 
 prayed for by the rest of the world, and which are not 
 altogether easy for you to grant. I observe, indeed, that 
 you generally turn a deaf ear to their prayers. 1 But there 
 is one thing, and that a very easy thing to grant, I did 
 wish to obtain from you. 
 
 Zeus. What is that, Cyniskus ? For you shall not fail 
 to get it, especially since, as you say, it is a modest favour 
 you ask. 
 
 Cyniskus. Just give me an answer in regard to a certain 
 not difficult question. 
 
 Zeus. Your petition, of a truth, is a small matter and 
 soon settled : so ask whatever you have a mind to ask. 
 
 Cyniskus. Here it is then, Zeus. You read, doubtless, 
 you as well as the rest, the poems of Homer and Hesiod. 
 Tell me, pray, are those things true which these poets have 
 so magnificently declaimed about Destiny and the Fates— 
 that whatever lot they spin out for each mortal, at his 
 birth, is not possible to be avoided p 2 
 
 Zeus. Indeed, all that is quite true : for there is nothing 
 
 1 See ’Ικαρο-Μενιππος, 25. 
 
 2 See ’Ιλ. xx. 128 (the words of Hera) ; Ό5. i. 17-19, 35-40 (where 
 the conflict between Fate and Providence involves the reductio ad ab■- 
 surdum) ; Hesiod, θεογ. 905,906 ; Theognis, Τνωμ. 815. 
 
THE CONVICTED ZEUS. 
 
 213 
 
 that the Fates do not ordain; but all things that happen, 
 whatever they are, are turned upon their spindle ; and they 
 have, each one of them, their final event, from the very 
 first, strictly determined: nor is it possible or right for it 
 to be otherwise. 
 
 Cyniskus. Then, when the same Homer, in another part 
 of his poem, says : 
 
 “ Lest to the house of Aides, despite of Fate, he send thee,” 1 
 
 and that sort of thing, we must say, I suppose, that he is 
 then talking nonsense ? 
 
 Zeus. Certainly. For nothing could happen so, inde¬ 
 pendently of the law of the Fates—nothing beyond the 
 stretch of their thread. But, as for the poets, whatever 
 they sing under the constraining inspiration of the Muses, 
 that is truth : when, however, the Goddesses desert them, 
 and they poetize of themselves, on such occasions, I say, 
 they are liable indeed to error, and are apt to contradict 
 their former assertions. And they may be pardoned, if, as 
 they are but men, they don’t know the truth, after it has 
 left them, which, so long as it was present, poured forth its 
 strains through them. 
 
 Cyniskus. Well, we will say so then. But further 
 answer me this, too. Are there not three Fates—Klotho, 
 Lachesis, and Atropos ? 
 
 Zeus. Of course. 
 
 Cyniskus. Destiny, 2 * * then, and Chance—for they, too, are 
 
 1 M>) και virip Μοίραν δόμον "Αϊύος είσαφίκηαι, 
 
 Ί\. χχ. 336. 
 
 The warning of Poseidon to AEneas not to engage in battle with 
 Achilleus. If we choose to read μοίραν , Poseidon might, perhaps, be 
 relieved of the charge of having perpetrated a ridiculous “ bull.” Gellius 
 (Noct. Att. xiii. 1) takes νπίρ μοίραν to be simply 'prceter naturam , 
 “unnaturally,” “violently.” But the interpretation of Cyniskus is the 
 probable one. 
 
 2 “Lucian means what we call ‘Destiny’ ( Schicksal), Ειμαρμένην. 
 
 This word seems to have a meaning identical with ΤΙεπρωμενη , and is 
 
 used by some writers as a synonym for Μοίρα; by others, however, it 
 is distinguished from her, and even from Pcpromene , so that the question 
 
 of Cyniskus, who does not know too well what he was to make out 
 of all these names, is quite natural. Since, however, Jupiter knows 
 no more of the matter than other people, so he gets out of the difficulty 
 with the accustomed answer in such cases—‘ it is not permitted to us to 
 see clearly in these things. 5 ”—Wieland. 
 
214 
 
 THE CONVICTED ZEUS. 
 
 much in everyone’s month—who ever are they , and what 
 power does each of them exercise P Have they a power 
 equal to that of the Fates, 1 or something even above them ? 
 
 I hear, however, everyone say that nothing is more 
 powerful than Chance and Destiny. 
 
 Zeus. It is not permissible for you. to know everything, 
 Cyniskus. And with what purpose, pray, did you ask 
 this question about the Fates ? 
 
 Cyniskus. I will tell you, if you will tell me first, Zeus, 
 this too—do they govern you, as well; and is it, really, a 
 matter of necessity for you to hang suspended by their 
 thread ? 
 
 Zeus. It is matter of necessity, Cyniskus. But why 
 did you smile, pray ? 2 
 
 Cynislms. I called to mind those verses of Homer, in 
 which you have been represented by him as declaiming in 
 the popular Assembly of the Hods, when you threatened 
 
 1 Ταϊς Μ οίραις —the Latin Parcce. The Latins gave these dread 
 divinities the names of Nona, Decuma (or Decima), and Morta (or 
 Mcera), according to an authority quoted by Gellius, iii. 16. The ety¬ 
 mology of both Μοιραι and Parcce seems to be the same, and to denote 
 the distributive or apportioning powers. 
 
 2 “ Here, too, Jupiter answers conformably to the Homeric and 
 popular Theology, which makes the Gods dependent on Fate (Schicksal), 
 or Necessity ( Nothwendigkeit ), and, also, even upon the Fame, who 
 execute the laws of Necessity. As, however, nothing was firm or stereo¬ 
 typed in the Gi’eek Theology, the common belief did not hinder many, 
 to whom the consequences of such teaching were a stumbling-block, from 
 thinking otherwise. Pausanias, where he speaks of the statues of Jupiter 
 Olympius at Megara, gives as the reason why the Horce and Parcce are 
 represented hovering above the God’s head, that it was pretty generally 
 recognized that Pepromene (‘Fate’), is subject to Jupiter alone, and 
 that the Horce are ruled by him, and kept in due order. But Lucian’s 
 Jupiter, weak as he was, had, at least, so much understanding as to 
 know that a Necessity , subject to his absolute will, could be no Necessity ; 
 and is, according^, resolved not to overstrain his power, either in regard 
 of the Parcce that hover over his head at Megara, or of the statues and 
 altars, which, according to the testimony of Pausanias, he possessed 
 here and there under the name of Moiragetes (‘ Kuler of the Fates’): 
 but, rather, with a good grace confessed that not only could he not alter 
 the laws of Fate, but that he was, as regards his own person, subject to 
 them. Lucian could with so much the greater justice make his Jupiter 
 confess this, because the Delphic Apollo himself, when Krcesus bitterly 
 reproached him after the unlucky event of his war with Cyrus, excused 
 himself in the same way (Herod, i. 91).”—Wieland. 
 
THE CONVICTED ZEUS. 
 
 215 
 
 them to suspend the universe by a certain golden chain— 
 for you asserted that, of yourself, you would let down the 
 chain in question from Heaven, and that all the Gods to¬ 
 gether, if they chose, might hang by it and use all their 
 force to pull it down, but that they certainly would not 
 drag the chain down, whereas you yourself, whenever you 
 wished, easily 
 
 “Aloft could draw the Earth itself, and Sea, and all within them.” 1 
 
 On those occasions, I confess, you appeared to me to be 
 admirable in your strength, and I used to shudder with 
 terror while I listened to those verses; whereas now I see 
 that all this time you have been yourself suspended 
 with your chain and all your threats, by a slight thread, 
 as you admit. Klotho, it seems to me, according to 
 this, might boast with far more justness, as it is she 
 who drags up and hangs you in mid air by her spindle, 
 for all the world as fishermen do their little fish from their 
 rod and line. 
 
 Zeus {indignantly). I don’t know what these same ques¬ 
 tions of yours mean. 
 
 Cyniskus. This, Zeus—and, by the Fates and by Destiny, 
 do not hear me with harsh or angry feeling, if I speak the 
 truth with freedom. Why, if this is so, and the Fates 
 rule all things, and nothing of what has once been decreed 
 by them can be altered by anyone, with what purpose do we 
 men offer sacrifices and presentwhole hecatombs to you, 2 with 
 prayers for good things from you. For I don’t see what 
 advantage we could get from this piece of attention, if 
 neither it is possible for us to find, through vows and prayers, 
 means of averting evils, nor to obtain any heaven-given good. 
 
 1 Ίλ. viii. 26. See θ. Δ. xxi. 
 
 2 The Homeric hecatomb (lit. “sacrifice of a hundred victims),” hyper¬ 
 bole as it might seem, was upon occasion, even vastly exceeded. The 
 Jewish and Pagan priesthoods and ritual were alike insatiate in their 
 sanguinary sacrifice, for almost every occurrence of public or private 
 life : and the thirst for blood rose with the magnitude of the event to 
 be celebrated. For example, see 1 Kings , viii. 63 (22,000 oxen, 120,000 
 sheep); Suetonius ( Vita Luod. Ccesarum , Caligula, 14), records that 
 100,000 various victims were sacrificed, at one time, to the divinity of 
 Caligula. See Juv. Sat. xii. 101-120; Clement Alex. Pcedag. ii. 1; 
 Lucian, Περί θυσιών. ; Porphyrius, Περί Εποχής. 
 
21G 
 
 THE CONVICTED ZEUS. 
 
 Zeus ([vehemently ). I know where you get those pretty 
 questions from—from those cursed sophists, who assert that 
 we don’t even exercise any providential superintendence 
 over men ; and without doubt, they ask such questions 
 out of sheer impiety, diverting the rest of mankind from 
 sacrifice 1 and vow-making, as being quite useless : seeing, 
 as they affirm , we neither pay any regard to what is done 
 among you, nor, in fine, have any power at all in respect 
 to earthly affairs. However, they shall have no reason to be 
 pleased by their pursuance of such inquiries. 
 
 Gyniskus {calmly'). No, by the spindle of Klotho, I declare, 
 Zeus, it was not from being influenced by those people that I 
 put these questions to you ; but our line of discussion itself, 
 I don’t know how, has gone on till it ended in this—that 
 sacrifices are supererogatory and superfluous. But again, if 
 you please, I w T ill put the question to you briefly, and do 
 not shrink from answering me, and he so hind as to give 
 a more candid reply than is your wont. 
 
 Zeus. Ask away, if you have leisure to talk such trifling 
 nonsense. 
 
 Gyniskus. You affirm that everything is done by the 
 Fates ? 
 
 Zeus. Well, I do. 
 
 Gyniskus. But that it is in your pow r er to alter their 
 decrees , and to spin them back P 
 
 Zeus. Not at all. 
 
 Gyniskus. Would you have me, then, lead up to the 
 necessary consequence, or is it plain enough without my 
 mentioning it ? 
 
 O 
 
 Zeus. Oh, quite plain. But those who sacrifice, do so, 
 not on account of any need for it —to make a return, and, 
 as it w T ere, to purchase good things from us; but, in a 
 particular manner, out of honour for what is superior to 
 
 themselves . 2 
 
 1 Zeus, apparently, had quite forgotten the consolatory observation of 
 Hermes at the conclusion of the memorable debate between Damis and 
 Timokles. 
 
 2 Jacobitz, departing from the authority of the Codices , reads αλλά 
 for ?/, by which the meaning of the reply of Zeus is considerably 
 altered. According to the generally received text, we read, “ but those 
 who sacrifice do so, not by reason of any need of ours, but to make a 
 
THE CONVICTED ZEUS. 
 
 217 
 
 Cyniskus (triumphantly ). That’s sufficient—since even 
 you allow that the sacrifices are of no earthly use, but are 
 offered simply by way of friendly feeling on the part of men, 
 who honour the superior power. Yet if any one of those 
 sophists you speak of were present, he would ask you why 
 you affirm the Gods to be superior, and that, seeing they 
 are fellow-slaves with men, and under subjection to the 
 same mistresses—the Fates. For the plea of immortality 
 will not avail them, so as, on that account, to gain the re¬ 
 putation of superiority: because that accident, in fact, 
 makes it far worse for them, seeing that death would have 
 removed them to a state of freedom; while, as it is, your 
 business ends only with infinity, and your slavery, wound 
 up with that long-reaching thread, is everlasting. 
 
 Zeus. But, Cyniskus, that eternity and that infinity of 
 ours is a blessed one for us, and we live in the enjoyment 
 of all good things. 
 
 Cyniskus. Not all of you, Zeus. On the contrary, even 
 among you your concerns have been variously portioned 
 out, and considerable confusion exists in your midst. You , 
 indeed, are fortunate, for you are king, and can hoist up 
 Earth and Sea by just letting down a bucket-rope, as it 
 were. But Hephsestus now, he is lame, and a sort of 
 mechanic and blacksmith by trade ; as for Prometheus, he 
 was once upon a time crucified 1 —and as for your own 
 father, what shall I say of him, who is still a prisoner in 
 chains in Tartarus ? They do say that you Gods even 
 play the gallant, and get wounded in battle, and sometimes 
 work with men as slaves, as certainly did your own brother 
 with Laomedon, and Apollo with Admetus. These circum¬ 
 stances don’t seem to me to be very happy ones; on the 
 contrary, some individuals among you appear to be for¬ 
 tunate and lucky, and others the opposite. I omit, in fact, 
 to mention that you are apt to fall among thieves, 2 just 
 as we are, get robbed by plunderers of your temples, and 
 
 return for favours received, and, as it were, to purchase good things 
 from us, &c.” Jacobitz’s revision is more consistent with the reply of 
 the Cynic. 
 
 1 See θ. Δ. 1 ; iEschyl. Προμ. Αεσμ.·, and the humorous scene in 
 Aristoph. Όρνιθες, 1494-1551. 
 
 2 Even in Heaven itself, among themselves. See θ. Δ. vii. 
 
218 
 
 THE CONVICTED ZEUS. 
 
 from a state of the greatest wealth become paupers, in the 
 twinkling of an eye. And many before now have been 
 melted down, for all their being of gold or silver; to whom, 
 I presume, that fate had been destined. 
 
 ^Zeus ( froivning ). There! These, now, are mere wanton 
 insults of yours, Cyniskus. Indeed, you will repent of 
 them some time or other. 
 
 Cyniskus. Spare your threats, Zeus, as you know that I 
 shall suffer nothing, which has not been determined by 
 Fate before you had anything to do with it: since I notice 
 that not even the robbers of your temples themselves are 
 all punished; on the contrary, the majority of them get 
 away from you scot-free. In fact, I suppose it had not 
 been fated for them to be caught. 
 
 Zeus. Did I not say that you are, without doubt, one of 
 those fellows who are for doing away with providence by 
 your style of argument ? 
 
 Cyniskus. You are terribly afraid of them, Zeus, I don’t 
 know why. Everything, in fact, I say, whatever it may 
 be, you suspect to be their teaching. But I—from whom 
 else should I learn the truth rather than from you P—I 
 should be glad to ask you this, too, who is this “ Provi¬ 
 dence ” 1 of yours ; is it some Fate, or a divinity even above 
 her, 2 as it were, ruling over the Gods themselves ? 
 
 Zeus. I told you already before that it is not lawful or 
 proper for you to know everything. And you, although at 
 the beginning you said you would ask a certain single 
 question, don’t stop a moment, putting a number of hair¬ 
 splitting subtleties to me ; and I see it is the chief aim of 
 your discourse, to prove we exercise no providential care 
 over human concerns in anything. 
 
 Cyniskus. That is not my affair : but you affirmed, a little 
 before, that they are the Fates that accomplish everything; 
 unless, perchance, you repent of making those concessions, 
 
 1 Πρόνοια. “ So the Stoics named ‘ Providence ’ ( die Forschung ), which 
 they attributed to the Gods, without detriment to their necessary Pate, 
 and on account of which they were in perpetual feud with the Epi¬ 
 cureans.”—Wieland. Cf. Herod, iii. 108; Plato, Ύιμ. 44; Cicero, He 
 Div. i. 51; Seneca, De Providentid ; Maerob. Sat. i. 17. 
 
 2 Jacobitz reads in rip ταντην in place of ΰπφ ταντας, upon what au¬ 
 thority does not appear. 
 
THE CONVICTED ZEUS. 
 
 219 
 
 and recall again what yon have said, and put in a claim 
 for “ Providence,” and thrust Destiny aside altogether. 
 
 Zeus. By no means ; on the contrary, it is Fate that 
 brings each thing to pass through our agency. 
 
 Gyniskus. I understand. You say you are a kind of 
 agents and ministers of the Fates. But, however, even so, 
 it would be they who exercise providence, while you are, 
 as it were, a sort of tools and instruments of theirs. 
 
 Zeus. How ? 
 
 Gyniskus. How P Why, just as, I suppose, the carpenter’s 
 axe and auger work together, in some sort, for the crea¬ 
 tion of the work: but no one would say that they are the 
 workman himself, nor the ship the work of the axe or the 
 auger, but of the shipwright. Analogously, then, Destiny 
 is she who acts as the shipwright in regard to each parti¬ 
 cular, while you are, I presume, the axes and augers of 
 the Fates : and, as it seems, men ought to offer their sacri¬ 
 fices to Destiny, and demand their good things from her; 
 whereas they approach you , honouring you with their 
 processions and sacrifices. And yet they would not do it 
 reasonably, even in honour of Destiny. For I don’t 
 suppose it to be possible even for the Fates themselves to 
 change or upset anything of what has been originally de¬ 
 creed respecting each several event. At all events, Atropos 1 
 would not tolerate it, if anyone were to turn back the 
 spindle, and undo the work of Klotho. 
 
 Zeus. And do you, Cyniskus, now require that not even 
 the Fates be held in honour by men? Well, you seem to 
 have for your object to throw everything into confusion. 
 We, however, if for nothing else, should be justly honoured, 
 at least, for our giving out oracles and predicting every 
 particular thing which has been determined by the Fates. 
 
 Gyniskus. Upon a survey of the whole matter, it is use¬ 
 less, Zeus, for those to whom it is altogether impossible to 
 guard themselves against them, to foreknow events that are 
 to take place ; unless you say this—that one who has 
 learned beforehand that he will have to die by an iron 
 spear-head, might be able to escape death by shutting him¬ 
 self up. But that is impossible : for Fate will drag him 
 
 1 As her name implies, the irreversible one, “ with whom is no vari¬ 
 ableness, neither shadow of turning.” 
 
220 
 
 THE CONVICTED ZEUS. 
 
 out to set him hunting, and will deliver him up to the 
 spear; and an Adrastus will hurl his javelin against the 
 wild boar, and will miss him, but will slay the son of 
 Kroesus ; just as though the javelin had been carried 
 against the youth by irresistible command of the Fates. 
 The saying of Laius is, indeed, ridiculous, which says:— 
 
 “ Sow not, in heav’n’s despite, a field of sons : 
 
 Sure death you’ll meet from your own progeny.” 1 
 
 For an exhortatory warning against events that xvill cer¬ 
 tainly so happen is, I imagine, superfluous. So, in fact, 
 after the oracle, he did “ sow,” and “ the progeny ” slew 
 him. Therefore, I don’t see upon what pretence you demand 
 pay for your oracular art. Why, I omit to mention that 
 you Gods are accustomed to return to the majority of 
 your clients oracular responses of double and ambiguous 
 meaning, and don’t make it over clear, whether the one 
 who crosses the Halys will destroy his own kingdom, or 
 that of Cyrus : 2 for the oracle might be made to mean 
 both. 
 
 Zeus. Apollo, Cyniskus, had some cause for anger against 
 Kroesus, inasmuch as he tempted him by boiling lamb’s 
 flesh and a tortoise together . 3 
 
 Cyniskus. As a God, he ought not even to have been angry: 
 but, however, it had been fated, I presume, for the Lydian 
 that he should be deceived by the oracle ; and, besides, 
 Destiny spun for him, that he should not understand too 
 clearly what was in store for him. So even your oracular 
 art is her work. 
 
 Zeus. And do you leave nothing for us, but are we Gods 
 without any purpose, and do we not import any sort of 
 providence into human affairs, and are we, like a lot of axes 
 and augers, in actual fact, unworthy of sacrifices ? Indeed, 
 I think you quite reasonably have a supreme contempt for 
 
 1 Μ/} σπείρε τ'εκνων άλυκα δαιμόνων βίμ’ 
 
 Ει yap τεια'ώσεις παϊδ άποκτενεϊ σ’ ύ <ρΰς. 
 
 Eurip. Φοιν. 118, 119. 
 
 “ Besae nicht die Ivinderfurche, dir verbieten es 
 Die Giitter! thust du es, so todtet dich dein Sohn.” 
 
 Wieland. 
 
 2 Sie 'Zttif T payipbop, 29-31 ; ΈκκΧ. θεών. 3 Ibid. 
 
THE CONVICTED ZEUS. 
 
 221 
 
 me, because, as you see, I forbear my band, although ready 
 to hurl my thunderbolt at you, all the time you are making 
 all these cavillings against us. 
 
 GynisJcus. Shoot away, Zeus, if it has been fated for mo 
 to be struck by a thunderbolt; and I will not blame you at all 
 for the stroke, but Klotho, who wounds me by your agency: 
 for I would not affirm even that the thunderbolt was the 
 cause of the wound. However, I will ask this of you—■ 
 yourself and Destiny—and do you answer me, also, on her 
 behalf ; for you reminded me by your threat: Why ever 
 in the world do you leave alone robbers of your temples 
 and pirates, and such a number of insolent wrong-doers, 
 and men of outrage and violence, and perjurers, and fre¬ 
 quently cast your bolt against some poor oak, or rock, or 
 mast of a ship that has done you no harm ; and, at times, 
 against some good and just traveller ? 1 Why are you 
 silent, Zeus P Or is it not lawful and right for me to 
 know even thus much P 
 
 Zeus. Why, no, Cyniskus; and you are a meddlesome 
 sort of fellow, and I don’t know where you come from with 
 these jumbled-up arguments. 
 
 Cynislzus. Then may I not even ask you this—you, I 
 mean, and Providence and Destiny—why ever did Phokion, 
 that good man, die in such poverty and want of the actual 
 necessaries of life , 2 and Aristeides before him ; while Kal- 
 lias and Alkibiades, youths unbridled in their licentious¬ 
 ness, abounded in wealth, and Meidias, the insolent upstart, 
 
 1 See Τιμών. 1-5. 
 
 2 This well-known Athenian statesman and military commander, 
 contemporary with the Macedonian Philip and Alexander, fell a victim 
 to the unjust suspicions of his countrymen of traitorous designs. Ido 
 died by the ox*d inary Athenian method of public execution—the adminis¬ 
 tration of hemlock—in his eighty-fifth year. Upon what authority 
 Lucian reduces him to actual poverty, is not clear. Plutarch, who gives 
 the details of his life, informs us that he was distinguished by his fru¬ 
 gality and simplicity of diet, but does not state that he ever suffered 
 from destitution. Lucian (Άληθ. Ίστ. ii. 23) places him in the Elysian 
 paradise. As for Aristeides, his poverty seems to have been his own 
 choice. It is of him that Plutarch makes the admirable remark at the 
 expense of the kings and heroes of History. The Kallias here referred 
 to, the stepson of Perikles, was known for his extravagant dissipation. 
 Xenophon’s Συμπόσων takes place at his house. Cf. Ζίύς T pay. 48; 
 Τιμών. 24. 
 
222 
 
 THE CONVICTED ZEUS. 
 
 and Charops of AEgina, a man of infamous debaucliery , 1 
 who killed bis mother by starvation. And, again, Sokrates, 
 why was he handed over to the Eleven, while Meletns was 
 not so ? 2 and Sardanapalns, why had he kingly power, 
 with his debauched character, and why were such a number 
 of good and honourable Persians impaled or crucified by 
 him, because they were not content with his proceedings ? 
 Not to mention to you things of the present time, or further 
 particularize—the wicked and the avaricious happy and 
 fortunate, the good driven and carried off into captivity, 
 oppressed through poverty, by diseases, and ten thousand 
 evils. 
 
 Zeus. Why, don’t you know, Cyniskus, what punish¬ 
 ments the wicked endure after this life, or in how much 
 happiness the good pass their time ? 
 
 Cyniskus. You talk to me of Hades, and the Tityuses and 
 Tantaluses. But, as far as I am concerned, whether there 
 is anything at all of the sort I shall know clearly enough 
 when I am dead: and, as for the present, I would prefer 
 to pass my life happily during this life, as long as it might 
 be, and, after death, to have my liver gnawed by sixteen 
 vultures—but not, while here, to be as thirsty as Tantalus ; 
 and in the Islands of the Blessed to drink, reclining in the 
 Elysian meadows with the heroes . 3 
 
 Zeus. What do you say ? Do you disbelieve or doubt 
 that there are certain punishments and rewards, and a judg¬ 
 ment-seat, where at length each one’s life is inquired into ? 
 
 1 Meidias, an Athenian plutocrat, is chiefly known as the enemy of 
 Demosthenes the orator, who was deterred from delivering his carefully· 
 prepared speech against the plutocrat by dread of his powerful influence. 
 —See Plutarch, B. Π. Of Charops of AEgina nothing seems to be 
 known. 
 
 2 Meletus, or Melitus, a bad tragic poet, was the public accuser put 
 forward by the enemies of Sokrates. Like other similar sykophants , 
 he was afterwards made a sort of scape-goat by the fickle Athenian 
 demos. The real informers were Any tus and others.—See Xenoph."A7ro/iv, 
 i.; Lucian, Αημώναζ. 11 ; Αις K ατηγ. 6. The Eleven , or N ομοφνλακες, 
 were officers entrusted with the execution of the decrees of the Areiopa- 
 gus and of the Heliasts, and with the safe keeping of prisoners. 
 
 a For Lucian’s idea of the Elysian Fields, see the charming description 
 -of the Isle of the Blessed (in his Άληθ. T στ. ii. 5-27) and its vanishing 
 joys, in which some of the Lucianic commentators have discovered a 
 covered satire on the Άπακαληψις; of the Christian Scriptures. 
 
THE CONVICTED ZEUS. 
 
 223 
 
 Gynishus. I hear that a certain Minos, a Kretan, acts as 
 judge in such matters; and answer me somewhat about 
 him, too : for he is said to be your son. 
 
 Zeus. And why do you ask about him, Cyniscus ? 
 
 Gynishus. Whom does he punish chiefly ? 
 
 Zeus. The wicked, of course, such as murderers and 
 temple robbers. 
 
 Gynishus. And whom does he despatch to the heroes P 
 
 Zeus. The good and holy, who have lived virtuously. 
 
 Gynishus. Why, Zeus ? 
 
 Zeus. Because some deserve reward, others punishment. 
 
 Gynishus. And, if a man have done some dire action 
 unwittingly, does he deem him deserving, too, of being 
 punished ? 
 
 Zeus. By no means. 
 
 Gynishus. Nor, I suppose, if a man does some good 
 action against his will, would he think it proper to reward 
 him either ? 
 
 Zeus. Why, no, to be sure. 
 
 Gynishus. Then it befits him, Zeus, neither to punish 
 nor to reward anybody ? 
 
 Zeus. How, not anybody ? 
 
 Cynishus. Because we men do nothing of our own wills, 
 but are compelled by some inevitable necessity, if, at least, 
 those things are true which have been before admitted— 
 namely, that Fate is the cause of everything. In fact, if a 
 man commit a murder, she is the real murderess; and if 
 he rob a temple, he does what it has been ordered him to 
 do. So, if Minos intend to give just judgment, he will 
 punish Destiny instead of Sisyphus , 1 and Fate instead of 
 Tantalus. For what wrong did they commit, since they 
 obeyed their orders ? 
 
 Zeus (in a towering rage). It is no longer worth while 
 
 1 The well-known king of Korinth, equally famous for his commerce 
 and his craft— ο κερδιστος γενετ άνδρων. ’Ιλ. vi. 153. By the poet of 
 the Odyssey he is tortured in Tartarus for his misdeeds by the everlast¬ 
 ingly rolling rock, or huge stone, which, as soon as pushed up the hill, 
 rolled back again, Όδ. xi. 593-599. Cf. Lucretius, De Rerum Nat. iii, 
 1013; 2En. vi. 602; Ov. Met. iv. 460; Cicero, Disp. Tusc. i. 5, 10; 
 Aristotle ('P ητορ. iii. 19) represents the poet as employing the fable 
 metaphorically. For Tantalus, see Ntfc. AiaX. xvii. 
 
224 
 
 THE CONVICTED ZEUS. 
 
 even to reply to you and your questions—for you are an 
 impudent fellow, and a sophist into the bargain ; and I will 
 leave you and go away this moment. 
 
 Gynislcus (calling after him). I did want to put to you 
 again this question, too—Where do the Fates spend their 
 days, or how do they manage to reach to the superinten¬ 
 dence, even to the smallest particular, of so many matters— 
 and that, though they are only three P For they seem to 
 me to live a laborious and no enviable sort of existence, in 
 having such a quantity of public business ; and, as it 
 appears, they were born under a not altogether propitious 
 Destiny, even they. I, at all events, if choice were given 
 to me, would not exchange my own life with them, but 
 would pass through life still poorer than I am rather than 
 sit plying my spindle full of such a quantity of trouble¬ 
 some business, and looking after each particular item. 
 However, since it is not easy for you to reply to them, 
 Zeus, we shall be even content with those answers which 
 you have made : for they are quite enough to throw light 
 upon the argument concerning Destiny and Providence. 
 As for the rest, probably it was not fated for me to hear 
 them. 
 
THE CONVENTION OF THE GODS . 1 
 
 [Zeus, to lmsli the loud murmurs and growing discontent 
 of the privileged classes of Olympus at the constant influx 
 of novi divi, which threatens altogether to swamp the 
 ancient orders of divinity, summons a General Assembly 
 for the purpose of taking measures to remedy the evil. 
 After proclamation by Hermes, by permission of the Pre¬ 
 sident, Momus, the Censor, or Public Prosecutor, of 
 Olympus, again undertakes the not uncongenial task of 
 exposing the patent scandals flourishing in their midst. 
 He repeats his old complaints , 2 and animadverts sarcastically 
 upon the scandal, that not only are mortal men deified, but 
 that they bring with them a whole train of disreputable 
 followers of low or hybrid origin, whom, surreptitiously, 
 they introduce into the haut monde, and, by corrupt arts, 
 contrive to get raised to the Olympian peerage; that these 
 dieux nouveaux insist upon an equal share, with the ancient 
 aristocracy, of the public feasts and sacrifices. Here the 
 President interposes, and calls upon the Public Prosecutor 
 to proceed from general to particular charges, and specify 
 names. Thus admonished, Momus particularizes the most 
 conspicuous scandals of this kind, and proceeds (in spite 
 
 1 θεών ’ Εκκλησία —the “ Popular Assembly of the Gods ”—is the 
 title of this witty piece. Inasmuch as, however, on this memorable 
 occasion, the “ upper ” and “ lower ” Houses (the Boule and Ecclesia ) 
 sat and voted together, the French “ National Assembly ” or “Con¬ 
 vention” more exactly repi*esents the character of the present meeting of 
 the divinities. The usual English representative title is “ Council,” 
 which does not accurately express the original. 
 
 2 See Ζενς T pay. 
 
226 
 
 THE CONVENTION OF THE GODS. 
 
 of a caution from Zeus to except certain privileged per¬ 
 sonages from his indictment) to insinuate that the case of 
 the “ king of Gods and men ” himself is not unobnoxious 
 to severe criticism—in particular, in regard to certain 
 events in the island of Krete, the scene of his education 
 and (alleged) decease; and his notorious amours with 
 certain terrestrial mistresses, which were at once hazardous 
 and ridiculous. He does not omit to descant upon a 
 number of other notorious scandals caused by the too free 
 conduct of other deities of either sex, in imitation of their 
 father and sovereign lord. At the urgent interposition 
 of Zeus, passing over the Ganymede scandal, he next 
 attacks the Oriental, and especially Egyptian, interlopers; 
 and, again called to order, passes on to the various oracular 
 divinities, and their portentously-increasing number—in¬ 
 stancing certain well-known athletes , who had received 
 the honours of divinity and immortality. One of the 
 results of this extension of the celestial franchise, accord¬ 
 ing to the Censor, is the increase of perjury. Descending 
 vapidly to human concerns, he severely assails the new¬ 
 fangled names bandied about in the logomachies, and 
 word-twisting of the “ philosophers and has a fling at 
 the new fashion of deifying Nature and Destiny, &c., w r hich 
 threatens to divert the old-accustomed rich sacrifices from 
 Heaven to Earth. At this point of his oration, observing 
 signs of weariness from some, of hostility from others, 
 Momus brings his address to a somewhat abrupt close. 
 Leave having been given by the President, he then reads 
 the resolution. 
 
 The Decree sets forth, in the approved (Attic) legal 
 forms, the principal cause of the convocation of the 
 Assembly—viz., the intrusion of spurious and barbarous 
 interlopers, the overcrowding of Heaven, and the conse¬ 
 quent alarming and extraordinary rise in the market- 
 prices of their ambrosia and nectar, and the arrogance 
 and presumption of the clieux nouveaux. It announces the 
 meeting of the celestial Chambers in the approaching 
 winter, when an Inquisitorial Commission is to be ap¬ 
 pointed for thorough revision and strict scrutiny of the 
 claims of the several more recent and surreptitious additions 
 to the theocracy; when they will be expected to produce 
 
THE CONVENTION OF THE GODS. 
 
 227 
 
 credentials, and proofs of the soundness of their claims : 
 the penalty of the flames of Tartarus to be enacted for all 
 who disobey the ruling of the Commission. Also, it is to 
 be within the powers of the same Commission to ascer¬ 
 tain and curtail the present pluralities and patronage of 
 the various members of the ancien regime. 
 
 To this decree Zeus vouchsafes to give his imprimatur , 
 and the Assembly is prorogued.] 
 
 Zeus, Hermes , and Momus. 
 
 Zeus. Have done with your muttering, Gods, and 
 don’t crowd yourselves into corners, and take counsel 
 with one another in whispers, in your anger because 
 a number of unworthy guests share our table. But, inas¬ 
 much as a Convention has been summoned to deliberate 
 about these matters, let each one say openly what he 
 thinks, and produce his charges. And you, Hermes, make 
 your proclamation according to the legal requirements. 
 
 Hermes. Oyez ! Silence ! What God, of full age and 
 qualification, who has the right, desires to harangue ? 
 The subject of inquiry is respecting resident-aliens 1 and 
 strangers. 
 
 Momus. I do—Momus—if you would give me leave to 
 speak, Zeus. 
 
 Zeus. The terms of the proclamation already give you 
 leave. So you will have no need of my permission. 
 
 Momus. I assert, then, that some of us act in a strange 
 manner—to whom it is not sufficient that they have been 
 themselves transformed from men into Gods, but, unless 
 they render their hangers-on and attendants possessors of 
 equal rights with ourselves, consider they have accom- 
 
 1 Μ ενοίκων. The Mctceci formed a regular and numerous resident- 
 colony in the Greek States, or cities (10,000, at Athens, in the third 
 century u.c.), subject to severe restrictions and disabilities. They were 
 forced to serve in the armies, but were not admitted to any sort of 
 legislative rights of the State in which they lived. Chiefly engaged in 
 trade, they were always actually regarded as ζενοι (foreigners), though 
 nominally distinguished from them. 
 
228 
 
 THE CONVENTION OF THE GODS. 
 
 plished no great or gallant achievement. Now I claim, 
 Zeus, from you the privilege of free speech, for otherwise 
 I could not venture upon it —but all know me, how 
 free I am of tongue, and that I could not be silent in regard 
 to any dishonourable action : for I examine everything 
 critically, and declare my opinions openly, neither fearing 
 anybody nor disguising my feeling out of mistaken modesty. 
 Thus I have the reputation with the large majority of 
 being a nuisance, and a calumnious character, and am 
 entitled by them a sort of public accuser. But, however, 
 as it is permitted to me, and has been so declared in 
 the crier’s proclamation, and you, Zeus, give me power to 
 speak out quite freely, I will speak without any sort of 
 reserve. Well, there are a considerable number, I affirm, 
 who, not content that they themselves participate in the 
 same councils with us, and take part in our banquets on 
 equal terms with ourselves—and that, though they are 
 half mortals—bring up their servants and Bacchanalian 
 hangers-on, into the bargain, into heaven, and enregister 
 them as Gods} And now they receive the distributions of 
 sacrificial meats on equal terms with us, and share in our 
 sacrifices, without even paying us the foreigners’ tax. 
 
 Zeus. Give us no riddles, Momus, but speak clearly and 
 explicitly, and supply us with the names of the accused. For 
 now your statement of the case has been recklessly brought 
 before the public, so that one guesses at a number of indi¬ 
 viduals, and fits one individual to one and another individual 
 to another of your charges. You, who are a bold and inde¬ 
 pendent speaker, ought not to shrink from saying anything 
 you have to say. 
 
 Momus. Bravo, Zeus, for urging me to freedom of speech : 
 indeed, you act in this right royally, without mistake, and 
 magnanimously. So I will even out with the names. 
 Well, that most excellent Dionysus, who is half man (not 
 even Greek on his mother’s side, but grandson of the 
 daughter of a certain Syrophenician merchant, Kadmus), 
 ever since he was voted worthy of immortality, what sort of 
 character he has I say nothing—neither of his hair-fillet, 
 nor of his drunkenness, nor of his gait. For you all see, I 
 
 1 See Ζενς T pay. 
 
THE CONVENTION OF THE GOES. 
 
 229 
 
 suppose, how womanly and effeminate he is in disposition, 
 only half in his senses, reeking with the fumes of unmixed 
 wine from early morning . 1 He introduced among us a 
 whole tribe of his relations , and comes and brings his troop 
 of dancers, and makes Gods of Pan, and Silenus, and the 
 Satyrs, a set of rustics and goatherds, most of them, skittish 
 and goatish, and strange of form—of whom the one has horns, 
 and from the middle downwards, in fact, resembles his own 
 goat, and displays a long beard, and differs but little from 
 that animal; another is a bald old man, with a snub nose, 
 usually mounted upon an ass. He is Lydian . 2 As for the 
 Satyrs, with their pointed ears, and bald heads, with horns, 
 such as grow on recently-born kids—they are by way of 
 being Phrygians. And they are even endowed, the whole lot 
 of them, with tails. You see what sort of divinities this 
 worthy finds for us. And, then, do we wonder that men have 
 contempt for us, when they see sucli ridiculous and pro¬ 
 digious Gods ? I omit to mention that he brought up, too, a 
 couple of women—the one being his mistress, Ariadne , 3 
 whose crown, actually, he inserted in the circle of the stars ; 
 the other, a daughter of the Icarian farmer; and, what is 
 most ridiculous of all, Gods, even Erigone’s dog, even him he 
 brought up, for fear the girl might be grieved, if she should 
 not have her accustomed play-fellow, and object of her affec¬ 
 tion, her dear whelp. Don’t these things appear to you to be 
 wanton impertinence, and drunken folly, and matter for de¬ 
 rision ? How listen, pray, to the history of the rest of them. 
 
 1 See θ. Δ. xviii. 
 
 2 Silenus, as a native of Nysa in Karia, might more properly be termed a 
 Ivarian. This inseparable boon-companion of the God of the Vine ahvaj^s 
 appears in Art as the personification of coarse and gross sensuality in 
 face and figure, and usually in a state of intoxication. The presiding deity 
 of the Chase and of the Farm does not cut a much more respectable 
 figure. In the famous romance episode of P-yseke and Cupid, he is repre¬ 
 sented as acting in the character of protector of the persecuted heroine. 
 Both Silenus and Pan are often pluralized by the poets. 
 
 3 Deserted by her lover, whom she had just rescued from a terrible 
 fate, and left in the island of Naxos, the Cretan princess (so we are in¬ 
 formed) forgot her grief in a strong attachment to the wine-divinity. 
 The crown, promoted to the stars, was given to her by Dionysus at 
 their union. See Ariadne Theseo of Ovid. For the story of Erigone 
 and her faithful dog Moera, see Apollod. iii. 14. The dog is known to 
 modern astronomy as Procyon. 
 
230 
 
 THE CONTENTION OF THE GODS. 
 
 Zeus. Don’t say a word, Momns, either about Asklepius 
 or about Herakles—for I see what is the drift of your speech 
 —for as to them, one of them is a physician and cures men of 
 diseases, and hath “many fighters’ value; while Herakles,. 
 who is my son, purchased his immortality by not a few 
 toils. So don’t bring accusations against them. 
 
 Momus. I will hold my tongue for your sake, Zeus, 
 though I have much to say. However, if they have nothing 
 to slioiv else, they still keep the marks of their fire burns . 1 2 
 And, if it were allowed me to use freedom of speech in 
 regard to yourself, I should have had much to say. 
 
 Zeus. Indeed, yon have, by all means, full leave to say 
 your say as far as I am concerned. But, surely, you are 
 not for bringing an action against me, too, as an alien for 
 usurping rights of citizenship ? 3 
 
 Momus. In Krete, to tell the truth, not only is it possible 
 to hear this insinuation , but there is something, besides, 
 they allege about you—they even point out your sepulchre . 4 
 However, I believe neither them nor the ZEgeans of Achaia, 
 who affirm that you were a changeling. But, as to those 
 matters which I consider ought especially to be reproved, 
 those I will venture to speak of. The beginning, surely, of 
 such breaches of the law, and the first cause of our Council 
 being overrun with bastards, you yourself supplied, Zeus, 
 by your familiarity with mortal women, and going down 
 to them now in one shape, now in another ; so that we 
 actually fear that someone may get hold of you, and 
 sacrifice you, when you are a bull; or some goldsmith may 
 
 1 Parody of part of the Homeric verses :—· 
 
 ’I ατμός γάρ άνήρ πολλών άντάζιος άλλων 
 ’Ιούς τ’ εκτάμνειν, επί τ' ήπια φάρμακα πάσσειν. 
 
 ’Ιλ. χϊ. 514-515. 
 
 “ Surely a sage chirurgeon, skilful to cut oiit arrows, 
 
 And overspread assuagements soft, hath many fighters’ value.” 
 
 (Prof. Newman’s Iliad of Homer.) 
 
 2 See θ. Δ. xiii. 
 
 3 Ξενίας διώκεις. A legal formula taken from the Attic law courts» 
 Cf. Aristoph. Σφ. 718 ; Demosth. passim. 
 
 4 This subject for satire is a favourite one with Lucian. See Τιμών, 6 ^ 
 Ζευς T pay. 45; Περί θυσιών, 10; Φιλοφενδης, 3. The Ch. Pathers, 
 also, make the most of it. Lactantius gives the inscription on the tomb 
 Chrysostom, Horn. iii. (as quoted by Du Soul). Cf. Pausanias, vii. 24. 
 
THE CONVENTION OF THE GODS. 
 
 231 
 
 work you up when you are gold, and, in place of Zeus, you 
 might become either a necklace, or a bracelet, or an earring. 
 However it may be, you have filled Heaven, at all events, 
 with these semi-gods, for I cannot otherwise characterize 
 them. And the thing is most ridiculous, when someone 
 all on a sudden hears that a Herakles has been proclaimed 
 divine ; while Eurystheus, who imposed his orders upon 
 him, has died ; and a temple of Herakles, the servant, and 
 the tomb of Eurystheus, his master, are adjoining. Again, 
 Dionysus is divine at Thebes; while his cousins, Pentheus, 
 and Akteeon, and Learchus 1 were of all men most 
 miserable in their fate. From the first moment, Zeus, you 
 opened your doors to such individuals, and turned your 
 attention to mortal women, they have all of them set to 
 imitating your example—and that not the male part of 
 them only, but (what is most scandalous) the female also. 
 Who does not know about Anchises, and Tithonus, and 
 Endymion, and Iasion , 2 and the rest ? So I think I will 
 pass those particulars by, for it would be a long business to 
 criticize them all . 
 
 Zeus. Hot a word, Momus, about Ganymedes, for I shall 
 take it ill, if you cause the boy any pain by reproaching 
 him with his birth and family . 3 
 
 Momus. Then neither shall I say anything as to the eagle 
 —how it has taken up its abode in Heaven, and sits upon 
 the royal sceptre, and all but makes its nest upon your 
 head, with the reputation of being divine. Are we to pass 
 
 1 Pentheus, the king of Thebes, who made himself remarkably 
 singular ( rara avis in terris) by his opposition to the brewers and wine- 
 merchants of the day, who revenged themselves by holding him up to 
 future ages as the especial object of the detestation and punishment of the 
 divinity, by whose frenzied priestesses he was torn to pieces. The 
 B άχκαι of Euripides is founded upon this history. Learchus, the son of 
 Athamas and Ino, was killed by his father in a tit of madness, sent by 
 the angry divinities Hera and Nephele. See Hyginus, Fab. i. 2 5 Ov. 
 Fasti, vi. 479. For Aktfeon, see θ. Δ. xvi. 
 
 2 For Anchises and Endymion, see θ. Δ. xx. xi. Iasion, the son 
 of Zeus and Elektra (daughter of Atlas) was the favoured lover of 
 Demeter. See 'Od. v. 125 ; Hes. Οεογ. 969 ; Ov. Amoves , iii. 10 , 25-44, 
 Met. ix. 421. According to Apollod. (iii. 12 ), it was not the Goddess, 
 but Iasion, who made the first overtures, for which he was struck dead 
 by a thunderbolt by Zeus. 
 
 3 See θ. Δ. iv. v. Wieland thinks that Lucian here alludes to the 
 deified Ganymede of the Emperor Hadrian. 
 
232 
 
 THE CONTENTION OF THE GODS. 
 
 this eagle by, too, for Ganymedes’ sake? Well, Attis, 
 at all events, and Korybus, and Sabazius 1 —from what part 
 of the world have they been rolled in upon us one after the 
 other P Or that Mithras, the Median, with his oriental 
 mantle and tiara, who does not even speak a word of Greek, so 
 that, even if one drink his health, he doesn’t understand ? 
 So, of course, the Scythians and Dacians, upon seeing their 
 characters, bid us a long adieu, and immortalize and elect 
 for Gods for themselves whomever they may choose; in the 
 same manner in which Zamolxis , 2 slave though he was, 
 was enrolled, who crept in I don’t know how. However, all 
 these things, Gods, are comparative trifles. But you, with the 
 dog-face , 3 the .^Egyptian, wrapped up in linen wraps, who 
 are you, excellent Sir, or how do you put in a claim to be 
 divine with your barking ? And what is the meaning 
 of this bull from Memphis, that spotted individual, being 
 worshipped , 4 and delivering oracles, and having pro¬ 
 phets ? I blush to speak of the ibises, and apes, and goats, 
 and other yet more ridiculous objects of worship, I know not 
 how stuffed into Heaven from Egypt; and how do you, 
 Gods, submit to see them worshipped upon a perfect equality 
 with, or even to a greater degree than, yourselves ? Or 
 you, Zeus, how do you like it, when your ram’s horns sprout 
 out upon you P 0 
 
 Zeus. These Egyptian facts you mention, of a truth, are 
 
 1 See Tjsvq Ύρα-γφδος and Ίκαρο-Μεν. Sabazius, a Phrygian divinity, 
 was identified with Dionysus. Cf. Aristopk. Όρνιθ. 875, Ανσίστ. 388. 
 Cicero, De Nat. Dcor. ii. 23, 58. Macrob. Sat. i. 1. Korybus may be 
 either the representation of the Korybantic family, or an individual said 
 to have been the son of Kybele. 
 
 2 A Thracian divinity, or prophet, who is said to have been a slave 
 of Pythagoras. See Herodotus (iv. 94, 95), who describes the barbarous 
 sacrifices to this God ; Apuleius, De Mag id, 290. 
 
 3 Anubis. See N. Δ. xiii. 
 
 4 For the Egyptian worship of and extraordinary reverence for Apis, 
 or the sacred Bull of Memphis, see Herodotus iii. 27-29 ; Pliny, Hist. Nat. 
 viii. 46 ; Ammianus Marcellinus, Res Gestce, 22. 
 
 In the character of Zeus Ammon. He was represented sometimes 
 as a ram, sometimes as human, excepting the head (or only the horns) 
 of a ram. The chief seats of his worship were the Egyptian Thebes, 
 and the famous oasis in the bordering desert. See Herod, ii. 42 ; Lucan, 
 Dharsalia, ix. 511. Lucian, it seems, had not Plutarch’s respect for the 
 (innocent) non-human species ; or Montaigne’s juster estimate of the 
 relative value of Life ( Essais , ii. 12). 
 
THE CONVENTION OF THE GODS. 
 
 233 
 
 scandals. But, all the same, Momus, the greater part of 
 them are allegorical; and it is not at all right for an un¬ 
 initiated person, like yourself\ to laugh at them. 
 
 Momus. We are sadly in want, then, Zeus, of mystic 
 initiation into the Mysteries, so as to know the Gods that 
 are Gods, and the dog-headed that are dog-headed. 
 
 Zeus. Have done, I say, with the concerns of the Egyp¬ 
 tians : for we will consider about them, another time, at 
 our leisure. Do you go on with the rest. 
 
 Momus. About that Trophonius, Zens, and—what particu¬ 
 larly chokes me—that Amphilochus 1 who, son of an 
 accursed matricide, utters his prophecies, excellent man, in 
 Cilicia, lying for the most part, and juggling, for the gain of 
 a couple of oboles. So, forsooth, Apollo, you are no longer 
 in esteem ; but now every rock, and every altar , 2 which 
 may be sprinkled with oil, and have garlands, and can supply 
 an impostor, such as exist in quantities, delivers its oracles. 
 Already, indeed, the statue of Polydamas, the athlete, 
 cures fever-stricken patients at Olympia, and that of 
 Theagenes in Thasos ; 3 and they offer sacrifices to Hektor, 
 at Ilium, and to Protesilaus, over the way, in the Cherso¬ 
 nese . 4 Ever since we have become so numerous, perjury 
 has increased all the more, and temple-robbery, and, in a 
 word, they have altogether despised us, and very rightly. 
 
 1 See Νεκ. Διαλ. iii. 
 
 2 Cicero characterizes these highly profitable sources, among others, 
 of sacerdotal revenue, as flexiloqua et obscura, ut interpres egeat inter· 
 prete. De Div. ii. 56. By the Christian Fathers they were held to have 
 been directly inspired by the demons (or, rather, devils), who perso¬ 
 nated the divinities of Paganism : “ In oraculis autem,” says Tertullian, 
 “ quo ingenio ambiguitates temperent in eventus, sciunt Croesi, sciunt 
 Pyrrhi.”— Apolog. 22. Lactantius, and St. Augustin {De Div. Dcemonum 
 and De Civit. Dei), strongly maintained the reality of such diabolic in¬ 
 spiration. Eusebius (Eeay Άποδ. ΤΙρυπ.γ.) quotes a number of instances 
 of these tricks of the “juggling fiends.” Cf. Bayle, Sur les Oracles. 
 
 3 Two famous athletes, the latter of Herculean strength. See Pau- 
 sanias (Ήλ. ii.), who states that there were statues setup to the honour 
 of Theagenes in many parts of Hellas, and even in foreign countries, 
 which healed men of their diseases, “ καί νοσήματα τε αυτών ΐώμενον.” 
 The islanders of Thasos enjoyed the privilege of giving birth to this 
 Samson—a somewhat troublesome one, according to the account of the 
 Greek traveller. Cf. Lucian, Πώς δει T στ. Συγ. 35. For Polydamas, 
 see Yaler. Maximus, De Factis, etc., ix. 12. 
 
 4 For Protesilaus, see N. Δ. xix. 
 
234 
 
 THE CONTENTION OP THE GODS. 
 
 Thus much as to bastards and fraudulently-registered 
 Gods. Tor my part, when I hear, as I now do, a number of 
 strange names of certain qualities, which certainly are not 
 found with us, nor can at all agree together; at all that, 
 Zeus, I laugh consumedly. For where is that Virtue, so 
 much in the mouths of all of us, and Nature and Destiny and 
 Chance—without any certain existence, and empty names 
 of things—which have been invented by those stupid dolts, 
 the philosophers ? Yet, though they are plainly fictitious, 
 to such a degree have they influenced the fools, that not 
 one of them cares even to offer sacrifices to us; being well 
 persuaded that, even though he should present ten thousand 
 hecatombs, Chance would all the same effect what was de¬ 
 creed, and what had been spun out from the first for each 
 individual person. I should, therefore, be glad to ask you, 
 Zeus, have you ever seen either Virtue, or Nature, or Fate ? 
 For that, in fact, you do hear them in the discussions of the 
 philosophers, I know, unless, indeed, you are, in a manner, 
 deaf, so that you don’t hear their clamours. Though I 
 have still much to say, I shall now bring my speech to an 
 end. I observe, in fact, that the majority are annoyed by 
 my words, and are hissing: those, especially, to whom the 
 freedom of my address has come home. If, however, you 
 desire an end to these evils , Zeus, I will read off a certain 
 resolution in regard to them, composed by me just now. 
 
 Zeus. Read : for all your charges are not without some 
 reason. And I must put a check upon the greater part of 
 them, so that they don’t come to too great a head. 
 
 The Decree. 
 
 In the Name of God , 1 2 
 
 In a legitimately-convoked Popular Assembly, on the 
 seventh day of the first decade of the month," under the 
 
 1 5 A ya6y Ύυχ$. A form used on solemn occasions, and inscribed on 
 public monuments, by Hellenic custom, of which the Latin equivalent 
 was quod felix faustumque sit. Cf. Thucyd. iv. 118. Arist. Ό pv. 435, 
 675 ; θεσμ. 283 ; Plato, Νομ. 625. 
 
 2 'Eβύόμ 1 J ισταμενον. The Attic month was divided into three decades 
 — ύ ισταμένος or αρχομένος μην (the commencing month), 6 μεσών (the 
 middle), and ό φθίνων (the concluding decade of the month). Cf. Δίκη 
 Φωνή. i. 
 
THE CONVENTION OF THE GODS. 
 
 235 
 
 presidency of Zens, and vice-presidency of Poseidon, Apollo 
 in the chair, Momns, son of Nux, acting as registrar , 1 and 
 Hypnus brought forward the motion:—Whereas many 
 strangers, not only Hellenes, but even barbarous peoples, 
 not at all deserving to share our rights of Olympian citi¬ 
 zenship, have been by some means illegally registered, and 
 have got to have the reputation of being deities, and have 
 crowded up all Heaven, so that the banqueting-hall is filled 
 with a tumultuous and turbulent mob, a rabble of people of all 
 sorts of lingos ; there is a failure in the supply of ambrosia 
 and nektar, so that now a half-pint of the latter is sold at a 
 mna , 2 by reason of the number of the drinkers ; and these, 
 with insolent audacity, have ousted the ancient and genuine 
 deities, and claimed the first places for themselves, contrary 
 to all the traditions of our constitution , and wish, to have 
 precedence even on the Earth. Be it, therefore, decreed 
 by the Senate and the People, that about the winter solstice 
 a popular Assembly be summoned on Olympus, and seven 
 of the first-class Gods be elected as Inquisitors—three from 
 the old Senate of the time of Kronos, and four from the 
 Twelve, of whom Zeus shall be one. Be it further enacted , 
 that these Inquisitors sit enpermanence, after having taken 
 the customary oath—by the Styx ; that Hermes make pro¬ 
 clamation and assemble them all together, as many as put 
 in their claims, as tax-payers, to a seat in the Convention; 
 and that they bring with them sworn witnesses under oath, 
 and proofs of their birth and family. Thereupon let them 
 appear severally, and the Inquisitors, after close scrutiny, 
 shall declare them to be bond fide Gods, or shall despatch 
 them down to their proper sepulchres, and their ancestral 
 vaults : And, he it enacted , if any one of the rejected Gods 
 once ejected by the Inquisitors, be caught in the act of 
 climbing into Heaven, that he shall be thrown into Tar¬ 
 tarus. Further, he it enacted that each. God employ himself 
 solely about his own proper business : that neither Athena 
 practise Medicine ; nor Asklepius trade in oracles ; nor 
 
 1 'Ο Ζευς επρντάνενε, και προηδρευε ΤΙοσειδών , επεστάτει'Απόλλων. For 
 the proper meanings of these legal formula, see Smith’s Diet, of Ant . 
 (article j Boide) and cf. Thucyd. iv. 118; Demosth. Λόγοι; Andokides, 
 Λόγος Περί ΜυσΓ. ; Pollux, ’Ονομαστ, viii. 98. 
 
 * £4. 
 
236 
 
 THE CONTENTION OF THE GODS. 
 
 Apollo have all to himself so many departments, but choose 
 out some one province —either be a prophet, a professor of 
 music, or a physician. 
 
 Be it further decreed , that the philosophers be warned not 
 to invent empty names, nor talk nonsense about what they 
 don’t know. And as regards the disfranchised Gods, who 
 already have been deemed worthy of temples and sacrifices, 
 their statues are to be thrown down, and the statue of Zeus, 
 or Hera, or Apollo, or someone else to be inserted in the 
 temples, instead : That, as for those others, their State erect 
 a tomb for them, and set up a pillar in place of an altar. 
 And, if anyone disobey this proclamation, and be not willing 
 to come before the Commission, let them give judgment, by 
 default, against him . 1 Such is our Decree. 
 
 Zeus. Very just, Momus, and every one who is in favour 
 of it hold up his hand ; 2 or, rather, so let it take effect at 
 once: for I know that the dissentients will be in the majority. 
 The Assembly is now dismissed. But, whenever Hermes 
 shall make proclamation, come each of you with clear 
 testimonials, and plain proofs of your titles —the father’s 
 and mother’s names, and whence, and how, he or she became 
 a divinity, his tribe, and wardsmen . 3 As, in the case of 
 whoever shall not exhibit these, whether a claimant has a 
 big temple upon the Earth, and whether he is regarded 
 by men as divine, the Commission will not trouble them¬ 
 selves. 
 
 1 5 Ερήμην αυτού καταδιαιτήσαντων . Sup. δικήν. Cf. Lucian, 'Υπέρ 
 E ίκ. 15 — ερήμην καταδιαιτήσας τον βιβλίου. The ψήφισμα, “ the 
 decree,” is the Act passed by the βουλή and εκκλησία conjointly : the 
 προβούλευμα, as the word implies, is the resolution of the first “ house ” 
 alone, which had no legal force until ratified by the popular Assembly. 
 It is not uninstructive to remark that, by the Athenian constitution, every 
 Bill to be introduced into the “ Commons ” was for some time pre¬ 
 viously exposed to the public view of the whole body of citizens. 
 
 2 There were two methods of voting, by “ show of hands ” (χειροτονία) 
 and by “balloting” ( ψηφοφορία ). The former was the more usual. 
 
 f By the constitution of Kleisthenes the whole Attic population was 
 redistributed into ten φυλαι (“ tribes ”), which were subdivided each into 
 ten δήμοι (“hundreds”). The term φρατρίαι (“ wardsmen ”), a signifi¬ 
 cant word, was still retained. 
 
THE TYRANT . 1 
 
 THE FERRY-BOAT: OR, 
 
 [Charon, ready to set sail, awaits impatiently the ap¬ 
 pearance of Hermes, who is behind time with his accus¬ 
 tomed batch of ghosts; and gives vent to his vexation in 
 complaints to Klotho, his colleague. Presently, the Con¬ 
 ductor of the Dead is seen approaching, heated and out of 
 breath, driving the ghosts before him. He accounts for 
 his delay by narrating the attempt to escape of one of his 
 convoy, the tyrant Megapenthes, and the difficulty of the 
 re-capture, which was effected only by the timely assistance 
 of the cynic Kyniskus (a fellow-ghost) ; and the fugitive 
 tyrant now appears on the scene securely fettered. 
 
 Before setting sail for Hades, Klotho receives from 
 Hermes, and enters on his way-bill, the names, nationality, 
 and manner of death of the various passengers. The cynic 
 philosopher complains that she has unfairly neglected him ; 
 and declares that he had long been intending to anticipate 
 her decree. In contrast to the disciple of Antisthenes, 
 the tyrant begs long and vehemently for respite, however 
 brief, on various pretences, all of which are sternly rejected 
 by the Fate. In the end, he is forcibly carried on board 
 by Hermes and Charon, aided by the Cynic, and bound to 
 the mast. At this stage, the cobbler, Mykillus, comes 
 forward to expostulate with Klotho yet more strongly at 
 her long neglect of him, and, to her expressions of astonish¬ 
 ment at his eagerness to embark, he replies by narrating, 
 
 1 Κατάπλους η Τύραννος. Strictly, “ The Putting-in, or Arrival of the 
 Ferry-Boat,” etc. For the sake of brevity, the usual title has been 
 adopted here. The opening scene, it is highly probable, was suggested 
 to Lucian by some graphic picture. 
 
238 
 
 THE FERRY-BOAT : OR, THE TYRANT. 
 
 at considerable length, his reasons for not shunning Cha¬ 
 ron’s boat; and, at the same time, confesses his previous 
 illusions in regard to the imagined happiness of the despot, 
 Megapenthes. 
 
 Klotho now gives orders for weighing anchor; w r hen the 
 cobbler, finding that he was to be left behind until the 
 next day, owing to the crowded state of the boat, struggles 
 hard to get on board, and, failing in the attempt, jumps 
 into the Styx, to get across by swimming. He is, then, 
 perforce, taken into the boat—a place being found for him 
 on the shoulders of the tyrant—which proceeds on its 
 voyage : while Kyniskus, like the cobbler afterwards on 
 landing, declares his inability to pay the small coin required 
 as the fare, and earns his passage by taking an oar. 
 
 The tedium of the rest of the voyage he relieves by 
 giving the “ time ” to his fellow-rowers, to the tune of some 
 popular sea-song, and in jeering at the lamentations of the 
 rich passengers, in which amusement he is joined by the 
 cobbler. Upon landing, the cynic and cobbler join com¬ 
 pany, and proceed arm in arm towards the tribunal of 
 Rhadamanthys. The Infernal Judge orders that the 
 various dead men be brought before him. The cynic at 
 once demands to be heard against the tyrant; and, after 
 previous satisfactory examination of himself, which results 
 in his receiving a passport for the Elysian Fields, he charges 
 Megapenthes with his foul deeds of cruelty and of debauchery. 
 That royal criminal is found to be covered with the stigmata 
 —the brand-mark, of his crimes and vices; and, to estab¬ 
 lish the accusations of his principal accuser, the tyrant’s 
 own lamp and bed are brought forward as witnesses. At 
 the suggestion of his accuser, Megapenthes, in place of 
 being consigned to the flames of Pyriphlegethon, is pro¬ 
 hibited from drinking of the waters of Lethe; and his 
 punishment in Tartarus consists in an ever-present recol¬ 
 lection of his evil deeds. In accordance with the terms of 
 his sentence, he is now dragged away by the Erinyes, and 
 chained by the side of another royal criminal, Tantalus; 
 who, as a comparatively innocent offender, had some reason 
 to complain of this unexpected addition to his torture.] 
 
THE FERRY-BOAT : OR, THE TYRANT. 
 
 239 
 
 Charon, KlotJio , Hermes, Megapenthes (a newly-deceased 
 
 Icing), KynisJcus (a Cynic philosopher'), Mykillus (a 
 
 Cobbler), Khaclamanthys, Tisiphone, and a number of 
 
 Dead Men. 
 
 Charon ( fretfully) . Well, Klotho, this little craft of ours 
 long ago has been ready and excellently equipped for 
 putting to sea: for the bilge-water has been all baled out, 
 the mast has been hoisted, the sail spread, every one of the 
 oars supplied with its thong, and as far as I am concerned, 
 nothing prevents our hauling our little anchor aboard, and 
 proceeding on our voyage. But that Hermes is behind his 
 time, whereas he ought to have been here long since. Our 
 ferry-boat, therefore, as you see, has not a single passenger 
 on board, though it might have made the passage three 
 times to-day already. And it’s close upon evening ; 1 and 
 we have not yet turned over even a penny. And so, I know 
 very well Pluto will suspect me of laziness in the business ; 
 and that, though the blame lies with another. Our fine 
 honourable gentleman undertaker, like any mortal , 2 has 
 himself drunk of the waters of Lethe , 3 up yonder, and has 
 quite forgotten to return to us ; and, either he is wrestling 
 with his young men in the Palaestra, or playing his lyre, 
 or reciting some oration, and showing off his own silly 
 nonsense. Or, maybe, perhaps, the excellent gentleman 
 is practising his light-fingered art, and outwitting some 
 one —for that, too, is one of his accomplishments . 4 And 
 so he takes his liberties with us, and that, while he half 
 belongs to our establishment. 
 
 Klotho. But what would you have ? How do you know, 
 
 1 Σχεδόν άμφι βονλυτόν. Lit. “close upon ox-loosing time.” See 
 'Ιλ. xvi. 779 ; ’0<h ix. 58. (according to Eustathius, in loco, βονλυτόνδε 
 denotes η μεσημβρία η ολίγον ri μετά μεσημβρίαν, “ about noon,” when 
 they unyoked the oxen to avoid the midday heats); Aristoph. Όρνιθες, 
 1500. Cf. Virg. Ec. ii.; Hor. Car. iii. 6. 
 
 2 τ Ωσπερ τις άλλος (Jacobitz), following the principal MSS. Lehmann 
 adopts the reading of the Scholiast, ε’ίπερ τις άλλος, “ if any one else.” 
 
 3 “ The waters of the upper Lethe ” is Charon’s euphemism for the 
 juice of the grape. See Lucian’s Περί Τίενθονς, 25 ; Aristoph. Barp. 106 
 (where Xanthias terms the infernal stream τό Αηθης πεδίοι>). The idea 
 of the river of Lethe is later than the theology of Ilomer and Hesiod. 
 
 4 See θ. Δ. vii. 
 
240 
 
 THE FERRY-BOAT : OR, THE TYRANT. 
 
 Charon, whether some pressing business has not been im¬ 
 posed on him, from Zeus wanting to use his services after 
 time, for some commission above P He, too, is his lord and 
 master, you know. 
 
 Charon. But not, Klotho, to make despotic use beyond 
 all fairness of a common possession ; for, we never have 
 detained him when he had to be off. But I know the 
 reason. We have only asphodel , 1 and libations, and cakes, 
 and the offerings to the dead ; 2 and all the rest gloom, 
 and mist, and darkness : while in heaven all is bright, and 
 they have large supplies of ambrosia, and abundance of 
 nectar. So I fancy it is pleasanter to linger with them : 
 indeed, he takes wing from us to the upper regions, just as 
 if he were escaping from some prison. But when it is 
 time for him to come down to us, leisurely, and with slow 
 enough steps, and painfully he makes the descent at last. 
 
 Klotho. Don’t give way to your temper, Charon, any 
 longer : for here is the very person himself hard by, as 
 you see, bringing us a number of individuals; or rather 
 scaring them along en masse with his rod, for all the world 
 like a herd of goats. But what’s this ? I see one of them 
 handcuffed, and another grinning, and one individual with 
 a wallet suspended from his shoulder and with a club in his 
 hand, staring grimly at them, and urging on the rest. And 
 don’t you see Hermes himself in a bath of perspiration, his 
 feet covered with dust, and all out of breath P His mouth, 
 anyway, is a regular steam-engine ? 3 —what’s this, Hermes ? 
 what’s all this hurry about, for you seem to me to be a 
 good deal put out ? 
 
 1 The asphodel, a plant of the lily kind, is one of the few delights of 
 the Elysian fields. See Όδ. ix. 538, xxiv. 13; and cf. Hesiod. "Εργα, 
 40 :— 
 
 Ν//π<οι, ουδέ ’ίσασιν, όσφ πλέον ημισν παντός, 
 
 Ονδ’ όσον εν μα\άχ? ι } τε καί άσφοδελφ μεγ’δνειαρ. 
 
 For a description of the “ Fields of the Blessed,” see in the ’Ανθολογία 
 a beautiful epitaph on a girl named Π ρώτη : — 
 
 Ονκ εθανες ΐΐρώτη, μετέβης δ ’ ες αμεινονα χώραν. 
 
 2 For the use of πόπανα and εναγίσματα in the Greek sacrifices to 
 the dead, see the dictionaries of Ilesychius and Suidas. 
 
 3 Μεστόν γονν άσθματος αντψ τδ στόμα. — The anachronism may be 
 allowed, perhaps, for the sake of the illustration. Wieland translates : 
 —“ wie er keucht und kaum zu Athem kommen kann.” 
 
THE FERRY-BOAT : OR, THE TYRANT. 
 
 241 
 
 Hermes (puffing ancl perspiring). What else, Klotho, than 
 that, from chasing this runaway sinner here, I was within 
 an ace of being a deserter from my ship to-day ? 
 
 Klotho. But who is he ? Or what was his intention in 
 running away P 
 
 Hermes. That’s plain enough—he preferred living. He 
 is some king or despot—to judge, at least, by his lamenta¬ 
 tions, and the wailings he gives vent to ; he says he has 
 been deprived of vast pleasure of some sort. 
 
 Klotho. Then did the fool run away, as if he could have 
 a longer lease of life, when his spun out thread had actually 
 failed ? 
 
 Hermes. Run away, do you say ? Why, if this most ex¬ 
 cellent gentleman here, he of the club, had not aided me, 
 and we had not caught and handcuffed him, he would even 
 have got clean off from us altogether. From the moment, 
 in fact, Atropos had delivered him over to me, all the way 
 he resisted and struggled ; and, firmly planting his feet on 
 the ground, he was by no means an easy charge. Sometimes, 
 too, he would fall to supplications and make vehement en¬ 
 treaty, demanding to be let off for a little, with offers of 
 large bribes. However, I, as you may well imagine, did 
 not let him off, seeing that he wanted the impossible. 
 Well, when we were now at the very mouth of Orcus , 
 while, as was my custom, I was counting over the tale of 
 the dead to HDakus, and he was making up their reckoning 
 by the ticket sent him by your sister , 1 somehow or other, 
 without being observed, the thrice-damned fellow got clean 
 away. One dead man, accordingly, was wanting to the full 
 tale; and, says Hlakus, raising his eyebrows, “ Pray, 
 Hermes, don’t practise your thievish art with everyone 
 you meet: you have quite enough sport in heaven; the 
 affairs of the Dead are managed with strict attention 
 to business, and by no means can they be slurred over. 
 The ticket, as you observe, has ‘ one thousand and four ’ 
 scratched on it; whereas you come to me with one short : 
 this won’t do, unless you tell me that Atropos has cheated 
 
 1 Atropos ( <e the Sunderer ”); Klotho being “ the Spinner,” and 
 Lachesis “the Apportioner” of human life. See Hesiod, θεογ. 905, 
 *Ασ7τ. 258 ; Juv. Sat. ix. 135, 136. Hermes appears to have forgotten 
 that to cross the Styx Charon’s boat was de rigueur. 
 
 R 
 
242 
 
 THE FERRY-BOAT: OR, THE TYRANT. 
 
 you.” I, blushing at his lecture, quickly recollected what 
 had happened by the way; and when, after a glance 
 around, I saw this fellow nowhere, perceiving his flight, I set 
 out in pursuit with all the speed I could by the road lead¬ 
 ing to daylight, and this most excellent person followed 
 me quite of his own accord. So, running at a speed as if 
 off from a starting line at a racecourse, we overtake him 
 just at Ttenarum 1 —so nearly did he succeed in escaping us. 
 
 Klotho. And we, Charon, but now were condemning 
 Hermes’s neglect of duty ! 
 
 Charon. Why, pray, do we longer delay, as though we 
 had not wasted time enough already ? 
 
 Klotho. You are right. Let them embark; and I, 
 with my way-bill ready in my hand, and taking my seat, 
 as is my custom, at the gangway, will make my diagnosis 
 of each of them, as he embarks—who he is, and where 
 he comes from, and what the manner of his death. And 
 do you take them from me, and pack them together, and 
 arrange them in regular order. And do you, Hermes, first 
 of all, toss in those new-born infants there ; for what could 
 they answer to my questions P 
 
 Hermes. There, Ferryman, is the exact number—with 
 the exposed infants , 2 three hundred in all. 
 
 Charon. A fig for your fine rich haul! You come and 
 bring me a lot of unripe dead ! 
 
 Hermes. Will you have us, Klotho, embark the unw&pt 
 next ? 
 
 Klotho. Do you mean the old ones ? So do. (Aside, in 
 disgust ) Why, indeed, should I be troubled with inquiring 
 
 1 The south-eastern extremity of Lakonia. The famous cavern, 
 fabled to be the descent to Orcus, was there situated, through which 
 Herakles dragged Kerberus from his infernal post. See Apuleius, Oe 
 Aiir. Asino , and Psyche’s descent to Hades. Cf. Aristoph. Βαηο. 187; 
 Lucian, N εκυομαντεία. 
 
 a How prevalent was the practice among the Greeks and Latins of 
 “ exposing” infants, whom the parents were unable or unwilling to bring 
 up, and how large the numbers thus inhumanly disposed of in obedience to 
 the oracles, is abundantly evident in their literatures—in particular, in the 
 drama, in the New Comedy, in the imitations of Plautus and Terence, 
 and in the Greek romances. See Aristoph. N εφ. 522 , and the charming 
 pastoral romance of Daphnis and Chloe, where both the hero and herione 
 are rescued castaways. The founders of the Roman and Persian 
 monarchies were the same. See Herod, i. 107-117. Livy, Ann. i. &c. 
 
THE FERRY-BOAT : OR, THE TYRANT. 
 
 243 
 
 into matters which happened before the days of Eukleides . 1 
 —You who are above sixty, you come forward now. What’s 
 this ? Have they their ears so plugged up by age that 
 they don’t hear me? (To Hermes) You will, likely enough, 
 have to take them up and bring them along. 
 
 Hermes. Here, again, are this lot, four hundred all but 
 two—quite ready to melt in your mouth, all of them, and 
 full-ripe, gathered in not before it was time . 2 
 
 Charon. By heavens ! no, for they are all of them, already, 
 regular raisins- 
 
 Klotho. Bring up next those who received their death- 
 wounds in battle, Hermes.— (To the wounded) And first 
 tell me, how you met your deaths to come here ? Or stay; 
 rather, I will myself examine you by the written instruc¬ 
 tions. (Looking at her ivay-bill) Yesterday there must 
 have perished in battle, in Mysia, four and eighty, and 
 among them, Gobares, the son of Oxyartes . 3 
 
 Hermes. They are here. 
 
 Klotho (reading again from her tablets). Seven have 
 cut their own throats on account of some love-affair, and 
 the philosopher Theagenes on account of his mistress, the 
 courtesan from Megara . 4 
 
 Hermes. They are here, at your side. 
 
 Klotho (referring to her tablets). And where are those 
 who died at each others’ hands, fighting for the throne ? 
 
 1 After the Peloponnesian War, the Lacedaemonians had imposed 
 upon conquered Athens the well-known government of the “ Thirty 
 Tyrants.” These having been expelled in the archonship of one Eu¬ 
 kleides, a general amnesty in regard to all previous offences was 
 decreed. Klotho means that the Dead, before her, are too old and feeble 
 for examination. 
 
 2 Hermes derives his forcible metaphor from the vintage. Wieland 
 has, “ alle weich und reif, und zu rechter Zeit abgeschnitten.” 
 
 3 Lucian probably alludes to some battle which had been fought about 
 the time of his writing. As a Syrian, he frequently refers to 
 Eastern names and events. Perhaps no writer has exposed the ridicu¬ 
 lousness of War, among the atoms of our “ mole-hill,” more satirically 
 than Voltaire (in particular, in his Micromeg as and other romances), or 
 Swift, in the Voyage to Lil lipid. 
 
 4 Theagenes, if not a merely fictitious name, may be the person com¬ 
 memorated by Lucian in his Περί της ΤΙεριγμίνου Τελευτής , as con¬ 
 jectured by Du Soul; or he may be the tyrant of Megara mentioned 
 by Thucydides (i. 126). There was a distinguished athlete of that name, 
 recorded by Pausanias. 
 
244 
 
 THE FERRY-BOAT : OR, THE TYRANT. 
 
 Hermes. Here they are. 
 
 Klotho. And the man who was murdered by his own 
 wife and her lover ? 
 
 Hermes. There, close to yon. 
 
 Klotho ( referring again ). Ah ! to he sure, bring up at 
 once those victims of the tribunals of justice—I mean, I 
 say, those who have perished by the bastinado, and those 
 who have been impaled alive . 1 And those sixteen killed 
 by pirates—where are they, Hermes ? 
 
 Hermes. Here they are, those with the death-wounds, 
 as you see.—Is it your wish I bring up the women, at the 
 same time ? 
 
 Klotho. By all means, and the shipwrecked people at the 
 same time, for, indeed, they perished in the same manner ; 
 and the victims of the fever, those too—and, with them, the 
 physician Agathokles. But where is the philosopher, 
 Kyniskus, who was fated to die by eating Hekate’s supper, 
 and the purificatory eggs, and the raw polypus, into the 
 bargain P 2 
 
 Kyniskus. I have been at your elbow this long time, most 
 excellent Klotho. But what wrong have I done, that you 
 left me such a length of time up above ? For you all but 
 spun out your whole spindle for me; although I often en¬ 
 deavoured to cut the thread and come here ; but, somehow 
 or other, it was not to be sundered. 
 
 Klotho. I left you behind as a superviser, and physician, 
 of human wickedness. But come on board, and good health 
 to you. 
 
 Kyniskus. In heaven’s name, not before we have shipped 
 this fellow here in fetters : for I am afraid he may get 
 over you with his entreaties. 
 
 Klotho. Come, let me see who he is. 
 
 Hermes. Megapenthes, the son of Lakydas, the despot . 3 
 
 Klotho. Come on board, you. 
 
 1 Or “crucified” ; ’ανασκόλοπίζειν being sometimes used in the sense 
 of άναστανρυϋν. See Lucian, ΤΙρομ. 7, and Περί της Π ερ. Τελ. 11 (in a cele¬ 
 brated passage referring to Christ’s crucifixion). Cf. Herod, i. 128, ix. 78. 
 
 2 Such, according to one account, was said to have been the cause of 
 the death of the Cynic Diogenes. See Τίράσις Βίων. 10, and Νεκ. Δια\. 1. 
 
 3 Probably, a merely typical despot—as no historical personage of 
 that name seems to be known to History. A son of Menelaus so 
 named is mentioned in O<5. iv. 11, xv. 100, 122. 
 
245 
 
 THE FERRY-BOAT : OR, THE TYRANT. 
 
 Megapenthes (imploringly). No, don’t, 0 my Lady Klotho! 
 pray, suffer me to go up again to the light for a little while : 
 then I will come of my own accord, without any one sum¬ 
 moning me. 
 
 Ivlotho. But what is it for which you wish to go P 
 
 Megapenthes. Just give me permission to finish my man¬ 
 sion first—for my palace has been left but half completed. 
 
 Klotho. You trifle. Embark, then ! 
 
 Megapenthes (on his knees'). It is no long time I ask, 0 
 Fate. Suffer me to stay behind just this one day, until 
 I have given some instructions to my wife about my 
 money, as to where I had that vast treasure interred. 
 
 Klotho. Your fate is fixed. You cannot obtain your ivish. 
 
 Megapenthes (weeping and groaning). Is such a vast 
 amount of gold, then, to perish ? 
 
 Klotho. It will not perish. So have no fear on that 
 score, at least: for Megakles, 1 your cousin, will inherit it. 
 
 Megapenthes. Alas ! the contumely ! My enemy, whom 
 through indolence I, yes I, did not put to death beforehand ? 
 
 Klotho. The very same, and he will survive you forty 
 years, and some little time longer, into the bargain, inherit¬ 
 ing your mistresses, and your wardrobe, and all your gold. 
 
 Megapenthes. You do me wrong, Klotho, in assigning my 
 wealth to my greatest enemies. 
 
 Klotho (scornfully indignant). Why, you, did not you in¬ 
 herit those very things which were Kydimachus’s, most 
 noble Sir, after having slain him, and cut the throats of his 
 little children before his eyes, as he yet breathed ? 
 
 Megapenthes. But now they were mine. 
 
 Klotho. Nay, your time for possessing them is now over. 
 
 Megapenthes ( coaxingly ). Listen for a moment, O Klotho, 
 to what I desire to say to you quite in private, in no one’s 
 hearing.— (To his fellow ghosts) Do you stand aside for a 
 little.— (In a whisper to Klotho) Should you suffer me to 
 run away, I promise to give you this day a quarter of a 
 million pounds sterling. 2 
 
 1 A very aristocratic name at Athens. The Megakles of History 
 ■was the rival of Peisistratus, in the sixth century b. c. Alkibiades 
 'traced his descent from these Alkmseonids. Cf. xlristoph. Χεφ. 71. 
 
 2 Χίλια τάλαντα χρυσίου επίσημου. “ A thousand talents of coined 
 gold.” 
 
246 
 
 THE FERRY-BOAT : OR, THE TYRANt. 
 
 Klotho. What, ridiculous man, do you still keep your 
 gold and your thousands in mind ? 
 
 Megapenthes. And I will throw into the bargain the two 
 large mixing-bowls, 1 if you like, which I received after 
 putting Kleokritus to death, weighing each a hundred 
 talents of pure fine gold. 
 
 Klotlio. Drag away and weigh him, 2 at once : for he does 
 not look like coming on board of his own accord. 
 
 Megapenthes (to his fellow ghosts ). I call you to witness 
 —my walls remain unfinished, and my naval docks. I 
 should have certainly completed them, if I had lived only 
 five days longer. 
 
 Klotho. Don’t fret yourself. Another will build them. 
 
 Megapenthes. Well, then, I beg of you this, at all events, 
 surely reasonable request. 
 
 Klotho. What ? 
 
 Megapenthes. For me to live on so long as until I shall 
 have brought the people of Pisidia under my subjection, 
 and imposed tribute on the Lydians, and raised to myself a 
 vast monument, and inscribed on it all the great military 
 exploits of my life. 
 
 Klotho. Ah ! you fellow, you no longer ask for a single 
 day, but a respite of something like twenty years. 
 
 Megapenthes. Indeed, I assure you I am prepared to 
 offer you securities for my speedy return. And, if you 
 wish it, I will hand over to you as my substitute my 
 only beloved son. 3 
 
 Klotho. Abominable villain !—him, whom you often used 
 to pray you might leave behind in the world ? 
 
 Megapenthes. Those vows I offered up a long time ago: 
 but now I see what is better. 
 
 Klotho. He, too, will come to you in a little while, taken 
 off by the new king. 
 
 1 Κρατήρας ( κερανννναι ). So called as used for mixing the wine and 
 water, which almost invariably was drunk by the Greeks rather than 
 pure wine. They were a common dedicatory ottering in the temples, 
 and often were elaborately decorated. 
 
 2 "EX/cert. A play upon the word used by Megapenthes — meaning 
 both to “ drag along ” and “ to weigh.” 
 
 Λ " Αντανδρον νμϊν άντ εμαυτυΰ παραδώσω τον αγαπητόν. Lehmann 
 detects, in these words, “ a not obscure allusion” to the propitiatory 
 sacrifice of Christ. 
 
THE FERRY-BOAT: OR, THE TYRANT. 
 
 247 
 
 Megapenthes. Well, then, don’t deny me this favour at 
 least, 0 Fate! 
 
 IClotho. Which P 
 
 Megapenthes. I wish to know how matters will go on 
 after my decease. 
 
 Klotho. Listen, then: for when you have heard you will 
 have the more anguish. Your slave Midas will have your 
 wife; indeed, he had an intrigue with her long ago. 
 
 Megapenthes {furious). The cursed rascal, to whom, by 
 her persuasion, I gave his freedom ! 
 
 Klotho. And your daughter will be numbered among the 
 mistresses of the now reigning despot; and the pictures 
 and statues, which the city set up and dedicated to you 
 formerly, will all be overturned, and afford ridicule to the 
 spectators. 1 
 
 Megapenthes. Tell me, and is there not one of my friends 
 indignant at these proceedings ? 
 
 * Klotho. Why, who was your friend, or on what account 
 could he be so ? Are you ignorant that all, who adored 
 you and eulogized every one of your sayings and doings, 
 did so either from fear or from expectation, from love of 
 your power, and with their looks eagerly fixed on their 
 opportunity ? 
 
 Megapenthes. Yet when they poured out their libations 
 at my dinner-parties, with loud voice they were accus¬ 
 tomed to invoke many blessings upon my head, ready each 
 one of them to die for me, if it were possible. And, in fine, 
 I was the great object of their adjuration. 2 
 
 Klotho . Accordingly, it was when you were dining with 
 one of them, yesterday, you died: for the last goblet 
 
 1 Portraits, in the form both of statues, busts, and of pictures, especi¬ 
 ally the former, as is well known, were exceedingly common methods 
 of self-glorification among the tyrants of Greek and Latin antiquity. Of 
 what vast numbers of them must have been dispersed throughout the 
 Roman empire, some idea may be formed from the records of such 
 writers as Suetonius and Tacitus. As they were usually set up during 
 the life-time of the original, their testimonial value is easily appreciated. 
 If the tyrant had made himself especially hated, his splendid images 
 were ignominiously shattered, when he was no longer an object of 
 terror. See Juv. Sat. x. 58. 
 
 2 Or, as proper name, ‘‘their Horkas ”—the divinity who punished 
 perjurers. Cf. lies. "Εργα. 804., θεογ. 231. Herod, vi. 86. For a 
 graphic picture of parasitism see Juv. Sat. iii. 86-108. 
 
248 
 
 THE FERRY-BOAT : OR, THE TYRANT. 
 
 offered you to drink from, that it was which sent you 
 down here. 
 
 Megapenthes. That, then, was the taste of something bitter 
 I perceived. But with what intention did he do this ? 
 
 Klotho. You ask me a good many questions, when you 
 ought to have embarked at once. 
 
 Meg a]) entlies. One thing chokes me most of all, Klotho, 
 on account of which I did long just to have but one peep 
 again into daylight, if but for a moment. 
 
 Klotlio. And what is it P It looks like something exceed¬ 
 ingly important. 
 
 Megapenthes. Karion, my domestic, as soon as ever he 
 perceived me to be dead, late at night went up into my 
 chamber, where I was lying—there being plenty of oppor¬ 
 tunity, for there was no one even to watch over me — and, 
 fastening the door, enjoyed himself with my mistress Gly- 
 cerium 1 (and it was not, I suppose, the first time he had 
 made free with her 2 ), for all the world as though nobody 
 was there; then, when he had satisfied his desire, fixing 
 his looks upon me, “You, however, you little paltry 
 sconndrel of a fellow,” exclaims he, “many a time you 
 inflicted blows upon me for nothing,” and, suiting his 
 actions to his words, he began to pull my beard, and strike 
 me on the chaps; and, finally, making a deep expectoration, 
 he spat on me, with the valediction of “Go to the devil,” 3 
 and took himself off. I was all on fire with rage, and yet 
 could not do anything to him, for I was already as dry as 
 a bone and cold as death; and the abominable girl, when 
 she heard the noise of some persons approaching, rubbed 
 her eyes with spittle, as though she had been crying over 
 me; and with loud lamentations, and adjuring me by 
 
 1 Λ favourite name of the ετα'φαι or παλλακίδες, and the heroine of 
 the well-known Andria of Menander and Terence : lit. “ the sweet 
 creature.” The neuter form, and frequently the diminutive, was 
 common to the class—as Erotium, Philocomasium, Philenium, Phrone- 
 sium, Leontion. 
 
 2 Or reading (with Jacobitz) κεκοινωνηκεσαν, “they had enjoyed each 
 others society.” 
 
 3 Εις τδ v των ασεβών χώρον απιθι. Lit. “ Go to the place of the 
 wicked.” The more usual Greek equivalent of our expletive is, ες 
 κόρακας —“ to the crows,” tantamount to “ may you be unburied.” 
 
THE FERRY-BOAT : OR, THE TYRANT. 
 
 249 
 
 name, she slipped away. And if I could but get hold of 
 them- 
 
 Klotho. Have done with your threats.—Nay, come on 
 board this instant; it is high time you appeared at the 
 judgment-seat. 
 
 Megapenthes . And who will claim the right to cast a vote 
 against a royal person? 
 
 Klotho. Against a “royal person ” no one, indeed; but 
 against a dead man Rhadamanthys himself, whom you will 
 presently see—a just judge, and who pronounces sentence 
 equitably in every case. But, just now, don’t waste time. 
 
 Megapenthes. Even make me, if you would, a private 
 person, Fate, one of the crowd of paupers, even a slave, 1 
 from the king that I was before—only suffer me to live 
 just once again. 
 
 Klotho. Where is he of the club ? And you, Hermes, 
 help haul him within by the foot; for he would never 
 come on board of his own accord. 
 
 Hermes. Follow me, now, runaway slave. ( Seizing him 
 by the neek ) Take him, you Ferryman, and the other, 
 what’s his name, and see that they are safely- 
 
 Charon. Don’t be afraid—he shall be bound to the 
 mast. 
 
 Megapenthes. Surely I ought to sit in the front seat. 
 
 Klotho. For why ? 
 
 Megapenthes. By heaven, because I was a prince, and had 
 ten thousand body-guards. 
 
 Kyniskus. So, then, did not your Karion yonder, 2 pro¬ 
 perly enough, pull your beard, for a dolt that you are ? A 
 bitter sort of princedom will you have, anyway, when you 
 have had a taste of the club. 
 
 Megapenthes. What, will Kyniskus dare to threaten me 
 with his stick ? (To the philosopher ) Did I not, but 
 the day before yesterday, all but have you nailed up for 
 being over free, and rude, and fault-finding ? 
 
 1 See the well-known confession of Achilleus to Odysseus in Hades, 
 
 OS. xi. 488-490 ; and cf. Eurip. tv Αύλ. 1250; Μη. vi. 456; 
 
 Seneca, Ep. 26. Plato (Πολ. iii.) finds fault with the poet of the Odyssey 
 for putting such sentiment in his hei’o’s mouth. 
 
 2 A proper name formed from Kap, a Carian—the slaves from Caria 
 and from Paphlagonia having a pre-eminently bad character. See Eurip. 
 Ku/cA. 647 ; Plato, E SO. 285 ; Cicero, Pro Veil. Flacco, 27, 65. 
 
250 
 
 THE FERRY-BOAT : OR, THE TYRANT. 
 
 Kyniskus (laughing). Accordingly, you will remain, you 
 too, nailed up to the mast. 
 
 Mikyllus (pushing to the front). Tell me, Klotho, and am 
 I of no account with you ? Or, because I am a poor man, 
 must I for that reason be the last to embark p 
 
 Klotho. And you—who are you P 
 
 Mihyllus. The cobbler Mikyllus. 1 
 
 Klotho. And so you are annoyed at waiting about? Don’t 
 you see how much this prince promises to give, to be 
 respited for but a brief time ? I am all amazement, to 
 be sure, that this delay is not liked by you as well. 
 
 Mikyllus. Just lend me your ear, most excellent Fate* The 
 kind gift of the Kyklops does not altogether delight me—the 
 promise, I mean, of “ Outis I will last devour.” 2 Whether 
 first or last, the same teeth, I suppose, await me. Besides, my 
 circumstances are not like those of the rich—for our lives, 
 as the saying is, are “ as opposite as the two poles.” 3 The 
 prince, indeed, seeing he had the reputation of being 
 happy in life, an object of dread to all, and looked up to 
 with awe by everyone, and has left behind such a vast 
 amount of gold and silver, and fine clothes, and horses, and 
 dinners, and handsome boys, and beautiful women, was with 
 good reason angry, and vexed at being torn away from them 
 all. For, somehow or other, the mind clings to such things 
 as to a sort of bird-lime, and is not willing with any good 
 grace to let itself go, inasmuch as it has long been fast glued 
 to them; or, rather, it is as if it were some unseverable 
 chain, by which it is their fate to be bound. Of course, 
 should one drag them off by force, they will howl and fall 
 to prayers; and, while audacious enough in other respects, 
 they are found out to be arrant cowards as respects this 
 road that leads to Hades. They turn themselves round, 
 forsooth, to regard what they are leaving behind ; and, like 
 unfortunate lovers, would like to gaze even from a distance 
 upon the concerns of the upper w T orld, just as that fool did, 
 
 1 Mikyllus, “ the dwarf,” is the hero of the Dialogue entitled Όνείρος 
 V Άλεκτρύων, who had been instructed by his philosophic feathered 
 friend to entertain that contempt for plutocrats which he now displays. 
 
 Ουτιν iyio 7 τί'ματον εΰομαι μετά υΐς έτάροισιν. — 'Oc. ix. 369. 
 
 3 Έ /c διαμέτρου. Lit. “ diametrically opposite.” See Erasmus, 
 Adagia. 
 
THE FERRY-BOAT; OR, THE TYRANT. 
 
 251 
 
 who ran away on the road, and fell to frantic entreaties to 
 yon even here. 
 
 Whereas I, seeing I had no pledge to hold me to life, no 
 estate, no house-property, 1 2 no gold, no furniture, no fame, 
 no portraits, naturally I was quite equipped for the journey, 
 and when Atropos simply beckoned to me, gladly I threw 
 away my brad-awl, and shoe-sole—for I had a last in my 
 hands—and jumping up at once I followed barefooted, and 
 without even washing olf the black dirt; rather I led the way, 
 with my face to the front: for there was nothing behind to 
 cause me to turn, and to call me back. And heaven be my 
 witness, now I see everything with you to be fair; for the 
 fact of perfect equality in honour for all, and of nobody being 
 superior to his neighbour, to me, at all events, appears to 
 be uncommonly pleasant. And I guess that debts are not 
 demanded of debtors hereabouts, and that there are no taxes 
 to pay. But what is best of all, is that there is no shivering 
 from winter’s cold, nor sickness, nor being beaten by one’s 
 superiors. All is perfect peace here, and things are entirely 
 reversed: for it’s we poor devils now who laugh, while the 
 rich plague themselves and make loud lamentations." 
 
 Klotho. I have been watching you laughing a long 
 time, Mikyllus. What is it that particularly moved you 
 to laughter ? 
 
 Mikyllus. Just hear me, a moment, my most honoured 
 of all divinities. Up above there I used to live near 
 the palace of a prince, and very narrowly observed all his 
 actions, and he seemed to me then to be even, in a manner, 
 a rival of the gods. For when I saw his embroidered 
 purple, and the number of his attendants, and his gold, and 
 his bejewelled beakers, and his silver-footed couches, I 
 thought him happy; and, moreover, the rich steam from 
 the dishes prepared for his feasts tantalized me to death— 
 so that he appeared quite plainly to me to be some man far 
 above ordinary human clay and thrice-blessed, and almost 
 I was going to say the handsomest man alive, and to tower 
 
 1 Συνοικίαν. Properly lodging-houses, in which a number of families 
 lived together , in separate floors—a common sort of investment of the 
 rich at Athens. See Bockh, Public Economy of Athens , 114. 
 
 2 Cf. ’ Ιακώβου ’Επιστ. v. 1-6 :— 
 
 "Αγε νυν oi πλούσιοι, κλανσατε ολολύζοντες, κ.τ.λ. 
 
252 
 
 THE FERRY-BOAT ; OR, THE TYRANT. 
 
 above tbe rest of the world by a whole royal cubit; exalted 
 by fortune as he was, with his magnificent strides, with his 
 backward tosses of his head, and inspiring terror in all 
 who accosted him. But as soon as ever he was dead, the 
 great man 1 was seen to be altogether an object for ridicule 
 —when he had stripped himself of his luxuries. And I 
 derided myself the more, such a miserable wretch had I 
 been stupidly gazing open-mouthed at; measuring his good 
 fortune by the steam from his kitchens, and thinking him 
 happy on account of the blood-red liquid obtained from 
 shell-fish in the seas of Lakonia. And, when I saw not 
 only him, but also the money-lender Gniphon, groaning 
 and repenting of his folly, because he had had no enjoyment 
 of his riches, but had died without tasting them, leaving 
 his wealth to the spendthrift Rhodocharis 2 (for he was his 
 nearest relative, and by law had the first claim to the 
 property), I did not know how to stifle my laughter; most 
 especially, when I remembered how pallid he always was, 
 and dirty, with his face full of care, and rich only for his 
 fingers, with which he used to count over his talents and 
 myriads of drachmas , scraping together little by little what 
 in a brief time will be squandered by the happy Rhodo¬ 
 charis. 3 —But why don’t we set off now ? For, faith, while 
 on our voyage we shall be able to have our laugh out, and 
 watch them howling. 
 
 Klntho (to Mikyllus). Come on board, that the Ferryman 
 may hoist up his anchor. 
 
 Charon (pushing bach Mikyllus ). Holloa! you there, 
 where are you rushing to ? Our craft is full enough 
 already. Stay here till to-morrow : the first thing in the 
 morning, we will take you across. 
 
 Mikyllus (struggling to get on board). It is unfair of you, 
 Charon, to leave me behind, an already stale dead man of 
 yesterday. 1 Never mind, I will bring an action against you 
 
 1 Αυτός , Lat. ipse. Cf. Juv. Sat. passim. 
 
 2 Evidently, with the poet Anakreon, “a lover of roses ” only when con¬ 
 joined with the wine-cup. Gniphon, or, rather, Gnyphon, the “ miser,” 
 appears also in the Πρασις Βίων, 23 ; Τιμών, 58 ; and Άλεκτρ. 30. 
 
 J See the Auhdaria and Euclio of Plautus, and Moliere’s imitation, 
 L Avare. Fielding has treated the same subject in his Miser. Cf. the 
 fine satire of Juv. Sat. xiv. 107-254 ; Hor. Sat. 1, i.; Cicero, Ep. 
 xvi. 26. 
 
 4 Εωλον ήδη νεκρόν. Cf. Plut. Περί τής Σαρκοφαγίας, ii. 1. 
 
THE EERRY BOAT : OR, THE TYRANT. 
 
 253 
 
 before Bliadamanthys for unconstitutional procedure. 1 —Out 
 upon my ill-fate ! They are already off ; and I shall have to 
 be left here all alone. 2 However, why don’t I swim across 
 after them ? For, as I am already dead, I have no fear of 
 being done up and drowned. Besides, I have not even the 
 penny to pay down for the fare (jumps into the Styx). 
 
 Klotho. What’s this ? Stop a moment, Mikyllus, and 
 wait. It’s not lawful and right for you to cross so. 
 
 Mikyllus. Indeed, I shall very likely come ashore before 
 you. 
 
 Klotho. Hot for the world! (To Charon) However, let 
 us sail up to him and take him on board; and you, Hermes, 
 do you snatch him up at the right moment. 
 
 Charon (helping to drag him overboard) . Where shall he 
 sit now P Every inch of room is occupied, as you observe. 
 
 Hermes. Upon the tyrant’s shoulders, if you like. 
 
 Klotho. A good idea of Hermes’s ! (To Mikyllus) Come 
 up, then, and tread on the rascal’s neck. And now a fair 
 voyage to us ! 
 
 Kyniskus (making up a face) . Charon, it is well at this 
 juncture to tell you the truth. I should not be able to pay 
 you the penny, upon landing ; for I have nothing more 
 than my wallet, which you see, and this club here. But, 
 for the rest, if you would like me to scuttle out the bilge- 
 water, I am quite ready, or to take my place at the oar. 
 And you shall have no cause to find fault at all, only give 
 me a strong and well-fitted oar. 
 
 Charon. Bow away, then; for to get even that from you 
 is as much as can be expected. 
 
 Kyniskus. Shall I have to give the time to the rowers, 
 too P 3 
 
 Charon. Do so, in heaven’s name, if you really know any 
 nautical tune of the kind. 
 
 Kyniskus. Sure enough I know several, Charon (begins to 
 
 1 Γ ράψομαεσε παρανόμων, the regular formula in the Attic law-courts. 
 
 3 See Juv. Sat. iii. 265, for horret reading optat. Cf. Aristoph. 
 Βαηο. 190-200. Xanthias solves the difficulty by making the detour of 
 the lake. 
 
 3 'Ύποκελενσαι, “ to hum the song, to keep the rowers to the time,” as 
 usual in the Greek ships ; hence άπό ενός κελενσματος, “ with one swing,” 
 “all at once.” Thucyd. ii. 92. See Aristoph. Βαηο. 208, and the 
 κελεΰσμα of Charon, on that memorable occasion. 
 
254 
 
 THE FERRY BOAT : OR, THE TYRANT. 
 
 hum the tune ). There ! do you see ? these fellows are acting 
 as chorus with their whining. So our song will be rather 
 interrupted. 
 
 First Dead Man. Alas ! for all my possessions ! 
 
 Second Dead Man. Alas ! for my estates ! 
 
 Third Dead Man. Ah ! ah ! ah ! What a mansion I left 
 behind me ! 
 
 Fourth Dead Man. How many thousands will my heir 
 receive from me, only to squander ! 
 
 Fifth Dead Man. Oh ! oh ! my tender infants. 1 
 
 Sixth Dead Man. Who, I wonder, will gather in the 
 harvest of my vines, which I planted for myself last year P 2 
 
 Hermes. Mikyllus, don’t you lament at all ? Upon my 
 word, it is not lawful and right for anyone to make the 
 passage without shedding a tear. 
 
 Mikyllus. Get away with you. There’s no reason why I 
 should bewail myself for having a pleasant voyage. 
 
 Hermes. All the same, make some groaning, however little, 
 merely for the sake of conformity. 
 
 Mikyllus. I will groan away then, since it’s your wish, 
 Hermes.—Alas for my sandal-soles! 3 Alas for my old 
 lasts ! Oh ! oh ! oh ! for my rotten shoes 1 Never again, 
 poor wretch that I am, shall I go from morning to evening 
 without a morsel of food, nor in the cold winter shall I 
 wander about unshod and half-naked, chattering with my 
 teeth from cold. Who, I wonder, will have my knife and 
 my awl ? 
 
 Hermes. Enough of your dirges; here we are all but 
 across. 
 
 Charon (to the passengers). Come, I say, first pay me up 
 your fares. (To a defaulting passenger) Come, you pay 
 
 1 “ I could wish,” remarks Wieland, “ for the honour of Lucian’s 
 heart, that these words had not slipped from his pen.” But Lucian may 
 have thought them necessary to a complete picture of the lamentations, 
 without intending any unfeelingness. 
 
 2 Holbein, in his famous series of the Todtentanz, has graphically pre¬ 
 sented oculis fidelibus this and the similar scenes of the Dialogues of the 
 Dead. 
 
 J Ο’ίμοι των καττυμάτων, Cf. Aristoph. Τπ. 314, 366. Mikyllus seems 
 to play upon the preceding κτημάτων, the object of the lamentations of 
 his fellow-passengers. The “ rotten shoes ” may be capable of a double 
 interpretation. 
 
THE FERRY BOAT : OR, THE TYRANT. 
 
 255 
 
 too. I have now got the fares from all of them. (Observing 
 Mikyllus slipping away) Hand me your obole as well, 
 Mikyllus. 
 
 Mikyllus. You joke, Charon, or, as the proverb has it, 
 you are writing on water, 1 if you expect an obole from 
 Mikyllus. To begin with, positively I don’t know whether 
 an obole is square or round. 
 
 Charon. Ah ! a fine voyage and fine profit I've made to 
 day. Well, get out all the same, and I will go and look 
 after the horses, and cows, and dogs, and the other animals ; 
 for they, too, have now to cross. 2 
 
 Klotlio. Take and lead them away, Hermes. I myself 
 will make the return voyage to the opposite shore to bring 
 across Indopatres and Heramithra, the Tartars ; 3 for they 
 have died but now by one another’s hands, fighting for 
 the boundaries of their territories. 
 
 Hermes (to the Dead). Ho! you people there, let us go 
 forward; or, rather, do you all of you follow me in order. 
 
 Mikyllus. Herakles! what a din ! Where now is the 
 beau Megillus ? Or by what circumstance does one dis¬ 
 tinguish here whether Simmiche is fairer than Phryne P 4 
 For everything is on one and the same footing, and of the 
 same complexion, and nothing is either fair or fairer. Nay, 
 now even the old tattered cloak, which, formerly, for a while 
 seemed to be disreputable, is equally honourable with the 
 purple robe of the king : for both are faded out of recogni- 
 
 1 See for similar uses of the Greek adage, Plato, Φ adp. 276. 
 
 2 A singular recognition of the right of the non-human species to 
 posthumous existence, Cf. Άποκ. Ίωαν. iv. κ. τ. λ. 
 
 3 Τούς Σηρας, the Seres. Some slight knowledge of the outskirts of the 
 Chinese Empire had been acquired by the western world in the second 
 century; and the great astronomer Ptolemy, a contemporary of Lucian, 
 had embodied all that was known in his geographical work, Tewy. 
 'Ύφηγήσις, vii. MS. authority and the first king’s name favour the reading 
 generally adopted, but a conjectural emendation is Σνρας, Syrians. 
 
 4 Phryne, the famous hetcera , who made so immense a fortune by her 
 numerous lovers as to offer to rebuild the walls of her country’s capital, 
 destroyed by Alexander of Macedon. She is most famous as the original 
 of the Aphrodite Anadyomene and the Knidian Aphrodite of Praxiteles, 
 and by the well-known device of her counsel Hypereides (see Quintilian, ii., 
 15 ; Athenseus, xiii.). Simmiche figures in the 'Εταιρ. Διαλ. iv. Fonte- 
 nelle {Dialogues des Morts) represents Alexander of Macedon complaining 
 to Plato that the modern imitator of Lucian had preferred, as con¬ 
 queror, Phryne to himself. 
 
256 
 
 THE FERRY BOAT : OR, THE TYRANT. 
 
 tion, and have sunk beneath the same obscurity.—Kyniskus, 
 where in the world, I wonder, may you be ? 
 
 Kyniskus. Here, I tell you. Well, if you like, let us 
 trudge on together. 
 
 Mikyllus. A good idea ! give me your arm. How, tell me 
 —for certainly you were initiated, Kyniskus, into the Eleu- 
 sinian Mysteries—does not the state of things here appear 
 to you similar to the condition there, above ? 
 
 Kyniskus. You are right.—But look, there is some female 
 figure approaching with a torch, and with a frightful and 
 threatening sort of look about her. Is it, by any chance, I 
 wonder, an Erinys P 1 
 
 Mikyllus. She looks like it from her dress, at all events. 
 
 Hermes (to the Fury). Take over these thousand and four 
 persons, Tisiphone. 
 
 Tisiphone. Yes, indeed; Bhadamanthys has been waiting 
 for you this long time. 
 
 Bhadamanthys. Bring them up, Erinys, and you, Hermes, 
 make proclamation, and summon them. 
 
 Kyniskus. Bhadamanthys, by your father, 2 I beg, have 
 me up and examine me first. 
 
 Bhadamanthys. Upon what grounds ? 
 
 Kyniskus. I am exceedingly desirous to bring charges 
 against a certain person, in regard to evil deeds which I am 
 privy to his having committed in life. I should not, how¬ 
 ever, be deserving of credit in my report, unless I first 
 myself be tested of what sort I am, and as to what kind of 
 life I have lived. 
 
 Bhadamanthys. And who are you P 
 
 Kyniskus. Kyniskus, most excellent Sir, a philosopher, as 
 he hopes. 
 
 Bhadamanthys. Come here, and take your place first for 
 
 1 “The persecuting” or “the angry” one. The dire‘sisters were 
 usually called, in Greek euphemism, Eumenidcs —“the kind” or “well- 
 disposed ” divinities. They were distinguished by the names Tisiphone, 
 Alekto, and Megsera, first by Apollodorus ; the original plurality of the 
 Homeric conception having been limited by Euripides to a trinity (see 
 Ιλ. xix. 259-260 ; Hes. "Εργα. 39 ; the Ευμενίδες of .iEschylus, etc.). 
 
 2 This judge of the supreme Court of Hades was son of Zeus by 
 Europa, and brother of Minos. See Apollod; Plato, Φαίδων, ii. 4; Virg. 
 2En. vi. Juv. Sat. xiii. 197. The especial function of Ehadamanthys 
 was inquisitorial, of Minos judicial, of Abacus executional. 
 
THE FERRY-BOAT : OR, THE TYRANT. 
 
 257 
 
 judgment. (To Hermes ) And do you summon the 
 accusers. 
 
 Hermes. If any one has any charge against Kyniskus 
 here, let him now come forward. 
 
 Kyniskus. Ho one stirs. 
 
 j Rhadamanthys. But that is not sufficient. Strip off your 
 clothes, that I may examine you by your brand-marks. 1 
 
 Kyniskus. But why ? For where did I ever become a 
 branded slave ? 
 
 Rhadamanthys. Whatever evil deeds any one of you 
 may have done during your life,—in the case of each 
 individual, he carries about invisible brand-marks upon his 
 soul. 
 
 Kyniskus (stripping himself ). There, I stand before you 
 as naked as I was born. So make a thorough search for 
 what you call “ the brand-marks.” 
 
 Rhadamanthys (examining ). This man, for the most part, 
 is free from them; with the exception of these three or 
 four very dim and scarcely recognizable ones. (Scrutinizing 
 more closely') What is the meaning, however, of this ? 
 There are traces and many signs of scars; but somehow 
 they have been obliterated, or, rather, excised. How is 
 this, Kyniskus ? how is it you have come out pure, as 
 though you had been born anew P 
 
 Kyniskus. I will tell you. Whereas formerly I was 
 corrupt for want of instruction, and, on that account, 
 contracted many brand-marks; as soon as ever I began to 
 study philosophy, by degrees I cleansed my soul for myself 
 of all its stains, by using a wholesome and most efficacious 
 remedy. 2 
 
 Rhadamanthys. Depart, then, to the Islands of the 
 Blessed, 3 * S to join the company of the Best, first alleging 
 
 1 Στίγματα, the marks branded on a runaway slave. Slaves devoted 
 to the service of the temples, also, were branded. Cf. Herod, ii. 113 ; 
 Έπ. Παυλ. προς K op. ; the stigmata of S. Francesco d’Assisi, S. 
 Katerina di Siena, and other Saints. 
 
 a The last words of Kyniskus here are usually assigned to Rhada¬ 
 manthys. 
 
 3 For a detailed description of “ the place of the Blessed,” see the 
 
 Αληθής T στ. and Φαίδων. Cf. Όδ. ix. ; Aristoph. Βαηο. ; and Virg. 
 JEn. vi. 
 
 S 
 
258 
 
 THE FERRY-BOAT : OR, THE TYRANT. 
 
 your charges against the despot whom you speak of. (To 
 Hermes ) Call up others. 
 
 Mikyllus. Surely my case is a trifling one, Rhada- 
 manthys, and needs hut a brief sort of examination. This 
 long time, at all events, I have been quite naked at your 
 service. So inspect me. 
 
 jRhadamanthys. And who may you be ? 
 
 Mikyllus. The cobbler, Mikyllus. 
 
 Rhadamanthys (after minute inspection'). Excellent ! 
 Mikyllus: perfectly clear, and without any noticeable mark. 
 Go you, too, by the side of Kyniskus here. Now summon 
 the tyrant. 
 
 Hermes. Let Megapenthes, son of Lakydas, approach.— 
 Where are you wriggling to? Step to the front at once. 
 It is you, the tyrant, I am summoning. Shove him by the 
 neck, and push him forward into full view, Tisiphone. 
 
 Rhadamanthys. Now do you, Kyniskus, produce your 
 accusations, and convict him on the spot: for the man is 
 at your elbow here. 1 
 
 Kyniskus. Indeed, there was no need of words at all: 
 for you will very quickly know him, from his brand-marks, 
 what sort of character he is. All the same, I will reveal the 
 man’s life to you by word of mouth, and will show him up 
 still more plainly by my account. Well, all the actions 
 of this thrice-cursed wretch, as a private individual, I 
 intend to pass by. As soon as ever, by attaching to 
 himself the most shameless of men, and collecting a 
 body-guard, he had effected a coup-d' etat, and established 
 himself as despot, he put to death more than ten thousand 
 citizens untried ; and, seizing upon the property of each 
 one of them, and so arriving at the highest pitch of wealth, 
 he has omitted no shape or form of excess. He exercised 
 every sort of cruelty, and insolence, and wrong against the 
 miserable citizens, violating virgins, and foully disgracing 
 youths, in every way grossly insulting his subjects 2 in his 
 drunken debaucheries. Even on the score of his arrogance, 
 
 1 The obscurity of the atmosphere of Orcus might well blunt the 
 vision of the unaccustomed guests. According to the poet of the 
 Odyssey (xxiv. 6), they are as “ blind as bats.” 
 
 2 Lucian depicts, with more or less verisimilitude, the origin and 
 character of the old Greek tyrants generally—in particular, of the 
 
THE FERRY-BOAT : OR, THE TYRANT. 
 
 259 
 
 full-blown pride, and insolence to all wbo addressed him, 
 you could not possibly exact from bim any adequate penalty. 
 One, in fact, could gaze at the Sun without blinking more 
 easily than at this man. In very truth, his ingenious in¬ 
 ventions of cruel punishments, who did not keep his hands 
 off even his nearest relatives, it would be impossible for 
 any one adequately to expose. And these charges—that 
 they are not some groundless calumny against him—you 
 will soon know, by calling those who have been murdered 
 by him; or, rather, they are present now, as you see, un¬ 
 summoned, and they surround him and are strangling 
 him (' 'pointing to the shrieking ghosts'). These all, Rhada- 
 manthys, have died at the hand of the wretched criminal 
 —some by treachery, for the sake of beautiful women ; 
 and some, because they were indignant at their sons being 
 carried off to be insulted by his unnatural debaucheries; 
 others, because they were rich; some, because they were 
 able, and prudent, and did not at all approve of his acts. 
 
 Rhadamanthys. What say you to this, you abominable 
 wretch, you? 
 
 Megapenthes. I have, indeed, perpetrated the murders 
 which he speaks of : but all the rest—the adulteries, and 
 unnatural offences, and debauching virgins—in all these 
 respects, Kyniskus has falsely accused me. 
 
 Kyniskus. Then I will bring you witnesses of these 
 crimes, Rhadamanthys. 
 
 Rhadamanthys. Who are they you speak of ? 
 
 Kyniskus. Summon, Hermes, his lamp and his couch: 
 for, if they appear, they will testify what sort of deeds they 
 were privy to his perpetrating. 
 
 Hermes (making proclamation) . Let the Couch and Lamp 
 of Megapenthes put in an appearance. (To the Court) 
 They have been so good as to obey the summons. 1 
 
 despots of Sicily, the Dionysii and others, and of the successors to the 
 various conquests of Alexander. But, doubtless, he had in mind the 
 still greater enormities of atrocity and licentiousness of the Roman 
 Caesars; in particular, of Caligula, as described in the pages of Suetonius, 
 perhaps the vilest despot who ever ruled the Roman world. 
 
 1 For similar bold personifications of Lucian, see his Auer] Φωνηέντων. 
 It is deserving of notice that Lucian has been more judicious in exer¬ 
 cising proper reticence, than many of his modern imitators and successors. 
 
260 
 
 THE FERRY-BOAT : OR, THE TYRANT. 
 
 Rhadamanthys (to the new witnesses ). Tell ns, pray, what 
 yon are privy to abont this Megapenthes. And do yon, 
 Conch, speak first. 
 
 Couch. All the accnsations of Kyniskus are true. I, how¬ 
 ever, my lord, blush to speak of these things: such were 
 the deeds which he was accustomed to perpetrate upon 
 me. 
 
 Rhadamanthys. Yon certainly give your evidence against 
 him most plainly, seeing yon cannot endure even to men¬ 
 tion the particulars.—And you, Lamp, now let us have 
 your evidence. 
 
 Lamp. I do not know what happened by day, for I was 
 not present: and as to his acts and experiences by night, 
 I shrink from speaking of them. But I saw many inde¬ 
 scribable things, and that surpassed all conceivable un¬ 
 natural debauchery; although I would willingly often have 
 not drunk in the oil, and I longed to be extinguished. But 
 he even would bring me up close to the very scene of his 
 acts, and would pollute my light in every possible way. 
 
 Rhadamanthys. We have now had enough of witnesses. 
 (To the officers of the Court ) Well, now, strip off this purple 
 dress, that we may count the number of his brandings. 
 —Ha ! The fellow here is livid all over, and everywhere 
 marked ; 1 or, rather, he is black and blue from them. 
 In what way should he be punished ? Is he to be thrown 
 into the flames of Pyriphlegethon, or to be given up to 
 Kerberus ? 
 
 Kyniskus. Hot so. But, if you will permit me, I will 
 suggest to you a new and befitting kind of punishment for 
 him. 
 
 Rhadamanthys. Speak, for I shall acknowledge my ex¬ 
 treme indebtedness to you for so doing. 
 
 Kyniskus. It is a custom, I believe, for all who die to 
 drink the water of Lethe. 
 
 Rhadamanthys. Certainly. 
 
 Kyniskus. Then let this man be the exception, and not 
 drink. 
 
 Rhadamanthys. Why, pray ? 
 
 1 K ατάγραφος. Borrowed from Plato by Lucian, from Lucian by 
 Julian (Καίσαρες) —Bourdelotius. 
 
THE FERRY-BOAT : OR, THE TYRANT. 261 
 
 Kynishus. In that way he will undergo a punishment 
 hard to bear, recollecting, as he ivill, what he was, and 
 how great was his power in the upper world, and pondering 
 over his lost delights. 1 
 
 j Rhadamanthys. You are right. Let him be sentenced 
 accordingly, and let him be dragged away and put in 
 chains by the side of Tantalus, and let him retain memory 
 of all his deeds committed in his lifetime. 
 
 1 So Dante :— 
 
 <c Nessun magglor dolore 
 Che ricordarsi del tempo felice 
 Nella miseria.” 
 
 Inferno , v. 
 
MENIPPUS: OR, THE ORACLE OF 
 
 THE DEAD. 1 
 
 [Menippus, the Cynic philosopher, just returned from a 
 visit of inquiry to Hades, meets his friend Philonides, who 
 earnestly begs him to reveal the reasons, and the experi¬ 
 ences, of his interesting journey. Thus adjured, with some 
 display of reluctance, Menippus, after having been assured 
 by his friend that human life has not at all improved 
 during his absence, professes that he had been impelled to 
 take so hazardous a journey by an ardent desire to learn 
 the truths of philosophy and life—vainly sought alike in 
 the popular Theology and in the schools of the Philo¬ 
 sophers, or Sophists, who were all at variance one with the 
 other, and contradicted themselves ; while they failed to 
 practise their own teaching. 
 
 Thus forced to trust to his own resources, after much 
 mental inquietude, he determines to go to Babylon, a 
 
 1 Μένΐ7Γ7τος ?) Ήεκνομαντεία. This Lucianic Dialogue (for its genuine¬ 
 ness is doubtful, as shewn, among modern critics, by Wieland and 
 Lehmann) borrows its alternative title from the Eleventh Book of the 
 Odyssey, of which it is, in great part, a parody. It is a sort of epitome 
 of the Dialogues of the Dead and other writings of the great master, 
 which satirize the popular theology respecting the Under-World, and is 
 of high interest as a risumi of this province of Hellenic superstition. 
 
 Rabelais (who is indebted, especially, to the True History) borrows one 
 of his most instructive scenes from this Dialogue. In the battle with 
 the Dipsodes, on behalf of the Amaurotes (the “ shadowy ”or “fleeting” 
 people, a name suggested to Rabelais by the Utopia of More, himself 
 indebted to Lucian), Pantagruel’s companion, Epistemon—who loses his 
 head, but afterwards recovers it through the skilful surgery of Panurge 
 —upon returning from his temporary sojourn in Hades, reports the 
 altogether reversed conditions of some of the heroes of antiquity and of 
 later times. (Gargantua and Pantagruel, ii.) The Spanish satirist, 
 Quevedo, also, has obligations to the Menippus, in his Suenos. 
 
MENIPPUS: OR, THE ORACLE OF THE DEAD. 263 
 
 principal seat of the Magi and the Mystics, and by their 
 occnlt science obtain admission to the Under-World, and, 
 like his prototype, Odysseus, consult the soul of the Theban 
 prophet Teiresias. Arrived at Babylon, Menippus intro¬ 
 duces himself to one of these Magi, named Mithrobarzanes, 
 and, with considerable difficulty, obtains from him promise 
 of assistance. Under the tuition of the Magus, he enters 
 upon a course of purificatory and mystic rites, and a strict 
 dietetic regimen, until he is properly prepared for the 
 dreadful descent. Embarking on the Euphrates, they sail 
 to a certain secluded place, where they leave their boat, 
 and begin the prescribed infernal rites and sacrifices—still 
 faithfully following the authority of the poet of the Odyssey 
 —invoking Hekate, the Erinyes (or Furies), and all the 
 dsemons. The Earth opens, and the various infernal sights 
 are revealed. Descending, with much difficulty, the travellers 
 secure places on board Charon’s boat, already overladen 
 with dead men, who, for the most part, had received their 
 quietus in battle. The lion’s skin, and mane of Herakles, 
 with which the Cynic had provided himself, secure for 
 them places on board, and a courteous reception from the 
 Ferryman of the Styx. Disembarking, with the Magus for 
 guide, Menippus makes his way, through “squealing” 
 ghosts, to the tribunal of Minos. There they see the various 
 punishments for crime and injustice administered, and a 
 novel sort of witnesses in the shadows of the accused. 
 Among those most severely punished appear the arrogant 
 Bich ; and Menippus does not lose his opportunity for 
 the exercise of his satirical faculty. Leaving the judgment- 
 seat of Minos, they proceed to the scenes of punishment, 
 and view the various instruments and infliction of torture. 
 
 In the Acherusian plains, they verify the accounts of the 
 poet of the Odyssey , as to the αμίνηνα καρήνα, and other 
 particulars. The Ισοτιμία is found to be complete and in¬ 
 dubitable. Thersites and Nireus, Irus and Alkinous, have 
 nothing whatever to distinguish them one from the other. 
 Under the influence of this spectacle, Menippus compares 
 human life to a gigantic public Procession, and to the 
 Stage, where the several constituents play their diverse 
 parts, for a short time, liable to extremest vicissitudes of 
 fortune. Mausolus, and other vain-glorious princes, with 
 
264 MENIPPUS: OR, the oracle of the dead. 
 
 their “ lying trophies ” and inscriptions, in particular, fall 
 under the Cynic’s satire; and the Earthly kings and 
 potentates who, in the Under-World, cut so abject and 
 inglorious a figure. As for Sokrates and Diogenes, they 
 still pursue their peculiar and favourite occupations. At 
 this point of his narrative, Menippus is reminded that he 
 has omitted to quote the solemn Decree against the Pluto¬ 
 crats, passed by the Popular Assembly of Hades (to which 
 he had referred at the beginning of his report), the pur¬ 
 port of which is the apportionment of a severe retribution. 
 
 At the point of going back to the Upper-World, 
 Menippus approaches Teiresias, and begs him to reveal the 
 secret, which was the object of his descent. This the 
 prophet’s ghost does with laconic brevity. The philo¬ 
 sophers then return, by a short cut, to Earth, near to the 
 Cave of Trophonius.] 
 
 Menippus and Philonides. 
 
 Menippus — 
 
 “ Domestic hearth, ancestral palace, hail! 
 
 To light restored, I gladly you salute.” 1 
 
 Philonides (seeing the Cynic at a distance). Is not this 
 
 Menippus the Dog F Surely it is no other, unless my 
 eyes see wrong ( rubbing his eyes). Menippus every inch of 
 him ! But what means his strangeness of dress—felt hat, 
 and lyre, and lion’s skin ? However, I must go up to 
 him. Good-day, Menippus ! And where do you hail from P 
 Why, you have not shown yourself in the city 2 this long while. 
 Menippus — 
 
 “ I come, th’ infernal vault, and Hades’ gates 
 Deserted, where, apart, dark Pluto broods.” 3 
 
 Philonides. Herakles! Menippus dead without our know¬ 
 ing it. And so he has come back to life again ? 
 
 Ω χοίρε, μέΧαθρον, πρόπυλα θ' εστίας, εμης' 
 τ Ως άσμενος σ' εσεϊδον ες φάος μολών. 
 
 Eurip. 'Ηρακ. Main. 523. 
 
 Athens, which, like Pome, was known, par excellence, as “ the city.” 
 Ηκω ΐ’εκρών κενθμώνα, καί σκότον πνΧας 
 Λιπών, "ιν’ "Αιδης χωρίς ιρκισται θεών. 
 
 . Eurip. Έκαβη. i. 
 
 Ihe opening address of the ghost of Polydorus, the son of Hekabe and 
 Priam, who had been murdered by his Thracian host. 
 
MENIPPUS: OR, THE ORACLE OF THE DEAD. 
 
 265 
 
 Menippus — 
 
 “ No, but yet alive dark Hades took me.” 1 
 
 Philonides. What was the cause of this strange and 
 extraordinary journey of yours ? 
 
 Menippus — 
 
 “ Me youth incited: self-willed more than wise.” 2 
 
 Philonides. Stop your tragic style, my fine Sir, and 
 descending from your iambics, speak much as I am doing , 
 in simple prose, thus. What was your equipment ? What 
 need had you to take the journey below ? For anyhow 
 it’s not a pleasant sort of thing, nor is the road a usually 
 welcome one. 
 
 Menippus — 
 
 “ Necessity, O friend of mine, conducted me to Hades, 
 
 The spirit to consult there ofTeiresias the Theban.” 3 
 
 Philonides. Ah ! my good fellow, but you surely are off 
 your head: for otherwise you would not be thus declaiming 
 to your friends in metrical strain. 
 
 Menippus. Don’t be surprised, my friend, for having lately 
 been in the company of Euripides and Homer, somehow or 
 other I got stuffed full of their verses, and their measures 
 come to my lips, as it were, of their own accord. But, tell 
 me, how go things above on Earth, and what are they about 
 in the city? 
 
 Philonides. Nothing new, but just what they used to do 
 before—they plunder, perjure themselves, extort interest 
 by hook or by crook, turn “ an honest penny ” in the most 
 sordid fashion. 4 
 
 Menippus. Poor wretches, and unfortunate devils ! They 
 don’t know what sort of measures have lately been deter¬ 
 mined on among the Powers below, and of what sort are 
 
 1 Ούκ, άλλ’ ετ εμπνουν Άιδης μ ’ εδέζατο. A verse, apparently, from 
 one of the lost dramas of Euripides. 
 
 2 Nfor/jg μ’ επήρε, καί θράσος του νον π\εον. From the lost drama of 
 the ’ Ανδρομέδα of Euripides. 
 
 3 χρειώ με κατήγαγεν εις’ Άίδαο 
 Ψνχϋ χρησόμενον Θηβαίου Ύειρεσίαου. 
 
 Όδ. xi. 165. 
 
 The reply of Odysseus to the inquiring ghost of his mother. 
 
 4 To κογΧυφοΰσι, όβοΧοστατονσι. The latter verb (lit. “ to w eigh 
 obols”) is derived, apparently, from Aristophanes, Nf0. 1139. 
 
266 MENIPPUS : OR, THE ORACLE OF THE DEAD. 
 
 the decrees that have been voted against the Rich, which, by 
 Kerberus, there is no possible means of their escaping from. 
 
 Philonides. How P Has any very new decree been passed 
 by the Powers down below respecting those up here ? 
 
 Menippus. Yes, so help me heaven ! and many of them : 
 but it’s not lawful to publish them abroad to everyone, 
 nor to proclaim the ineffable secrets, for fear that someone 
 or other might bring an action against us in the Court of 
 Rhadamanthys for impiety. 
 
 Philonides. Don’t, Menippus, don’t, in heaven’s name, 
 grudge a friend the narration of those events; for you will 
 speak to one who knows how to hold his tongue, and, 
 moreover, to one who has been initiated. 
 
 Menippus. You impose upon me a hard task, and not at 
 all a safe one. But, however, for your sake I must run 
 the risk. It is decreed, I say, that these millionaires and 
 plutocrats, and those who carefully keep their gold coin 
 shut up like Danae- 
 
 Philonides. Don’t tell me the decrees before, my good 
 Sir, you have recounted that which I would with most 
 particular pleasure hear from you—what was your inten¬ 
 tion in making the descent, and who was your guide on 
 the journey ? Next, in regular order, what you saw, and 
 what you heard among them : for it is reasonable to sup¬ 
 pose, surely, that you as a dilettante neglected nothing of 
 what was worth seeing or hearing. 
 
 Menippus. I must even do you this service, for what can 
 one do, when a gentleman and a friend urges one ? Well, 
 then, I will recount to you, first of all, my design, and 
 whence I got the impulse to make the descent. .Well, I, as 
 long as I was in my teens, when I listened to Homer and 
 Hesiod recounting the wars and seditions not only of the 
 demi-gods, but actually even of the Gods themselves before 
 now ; nay, further, even their adulteries, and violences, and 
 rapes and feuds, their expulsions of parents, and their 
 marriages with sisters—all this I used to consider to be 
 good and right, and I tickled my fancy in no ordinary 
 degree with it all. But when I began to arrive at 
 mature age, on the contrary, I then heard the laws en¬ 
 joining the opposite to the poets,—not to commit adultery, 
 nor to engage in civil war, nor to rob with violence, I 
 
MENIPPUS : OR, THE ORACLE OF THE DEAD. 
 
 267 
 
 stood fixed in great doubt and perplexity, not knowing 
 where I should turn myself. For, neither could I ever 
 believe that the Gods committed adultery, and engaged in 
 fratricidal war, unless they held about these things, that 
 they were really honourable: nor that the legislators would 
 encourage the opposite to these practices, unless they sup¬ 
 posed their prohibitions to be advantageous. And, when I 
 continued to be in doubt, I resolved to go to those whom 
 they call “ philosophers,” and put myself in their hands, 
 and pray them to use me as they wished, and to point out 
 to me some sure and simple way of life. With this dispo¬ 
 sition, I say, I approached them ; and I did not know that 
 I was forcing myself, as the adage is, from the smoke into 
 the fire itself. 1 For plainly, upon close examination, I found 
 among them ignorance in a very special degree, and doubt 
 and uncertainty greater than elseuihere; so that very quickly 
 they proved to me that the way of life of the ignorant and 
 common sort of people was golden in comparison. One of 
 them would exhort me, you maybe sure, to indulge my love 
 of pleasure in everything, and that only to pursue by all 
 means: for that that was the being “ happy.” Another, on 
 the contrary, exhorted me to be laborious about everything, 
 and to toil, and to restrain, and torture the body, dress in 
 rags, live in squalor, and to make myself a nuisance to 
 everybody else, and use vituperative language; 2 perpetually 
 declaiming to me those universally known verses of Hesiod 
 about Virtue, and toil, and sweat, and the ascent to its 
 summit.' 3 Another would exhort me to contemn money and 
 
 1 Ές αυτό τυ πυρ εκ του καπνού — Anglice , α from the frying-pan into 
 the fire;” Germanice, “ aus dem Eegen unter die Traufe.” 
 
 2 K αταναγκάζειν. Cf. S. Paul (Έπτ. προς K op. i. 27.) υπωπιάζω μυΰ 
 τό σώμα καί δουΧαγωγώ, quoted by Origen, Προς Κίλσον. ν. The very 
 opposite schools of Aristippus and Antisthenes are here pointed at. See 
 Βίων Τϊράσις. 
 
 3 Ύήν μεν τοί κακύτητα καί ΐΧαδόν έστιν έΧέσθαι 
 'Ρ ηΐδιως’ όΧίγη μεν οδός, μάΧα δ’ έγγΰθι ναίει. 
 
 Της δ’ ’Αρετής ιδρώτα θεοί προπάροιθεν έθηκαν 
 Αθάνατοι’ μάκρος δε καί όρθιος οίμος ές αυτήν 
 Και τρηχυς τοπρώτον’ έπήν δ’ εις άκρον 'ίκηται , 
 
 ‘Βήίδίη δ ή επειτα πέΧει, χαλεπή περ έουσα. 
 
 *Εργα καί Ήμ. 287-292. 
 
 Cf. Plato, Πολ. ii. 364 ; Lucian, Ά\. Τστ. ii. 18, 'Epjiior. 3 (in which 
 
268 
 
 MENIPPUS : OR, THE ORACLE OF THE DEAD. 
 
 to consider its possession a matter of indifference. Someone 
 else, again, was for proving riches themselves to be “ a 
 Good.” As for their theories of the Universe, what need for 
 me even to speak, who was nauseated in daily listening to 
 their “ideas,” “incorporealities,” “atoms,” “vacuums,” 
 and a crowd of such like names ? And what was the most 
 absurd of all strange things was—that, while each one of 
 them spoke of matters most opposed one to the other, he 
 would supply exceedingly irresistible and persuasive argu¬ 
 ments ; so that you could not possibly contradict either 
 him who affirmed the same thing to be “ heat,” nor him 
 who asserted it to be “ cold ”—and that, though you knew 
 perfectly well that a thing could never possibly be warm 
 and cold at the same moment. Plainly, then, I was in 
 the same case with those who doze—one moment nodding 
 
 assent, at another throwing my head back in denial. But 
 still more unreasonable than this—by close observation, I 
 found these same people to follow a manner of life quite 
 contrary to their own precepts. Those, in fact, who urged 
 me to despise money, I observed to cling to it with the 
 firmest grasp, to be quarrelling about their usury, teaching 
 for pay, 1 and ready to endure anything for it. And those 
 who were for rejecting fame, I found to be employed in all 
 their words and actions for its sole sake; and, further, while 
 accusing almost all the world of devotion to pleasure, to be, 
 in private, firmly attached to that alone. 
 
 Deceived, then, in this expectation, I began to be yet 
 more disgusted; while I consoled myself, in some degree, 
 with the fact that I was a fool, and wandering about still 
 ignorant of Truth, in company with many others—learned 
 people, and very much famed for their knowledge : and, 
 as on one occasion, I was kept awake all night, on this 
 account, I determined upon going to Babylon to beg the 
 assistance of some one of their Magi, the disciples and suc¬ 
 cessors of Zoroaster ; for I heard that by certain incanta¬ 
 tions and mystic rites they open the gates of Hades, and 
 
 there is allusion to the Stoic metaphor of the Steep Hill of Virtue) ; 
 Κεβητος ΤΙίναξ ; Χρυσά "Επη (“ Golden Verses”) of Hieroldes. Pytha¬ 
 goras was the first to elaborate these maxims of Hesiod. 
 
 1 It was a chief accusation of Sokrates against the Sophist <s that 
 they taught for money. 
 
MENIPPUS : OR, THE ORACLE OF THE DEAD. 
 
 269 
 
 conduct down whomever they choose in safety, and bring 
 them back again. I considered, therefore, the best thing 
 to do was, to obtain for myself the means of descent from 
 some of these persons, and go to Teiresias the Boeotian, and 
 learn from him, as he is a prophet and a sage, what way of 
 life is the best, and the one which any right-thinking man 
 would choose for himself. And, in fact, jumping up there 
 and then, as quickly as I could, I made straight for 
 Babylon. Upon my arrival I take up my residence with 
 one of the Chaldaeans, a learned man, and of preternatural 
 excellence in his art, with white hair, who grew a very 
 venerable beard. His name was Mithrobarzanes. After 
 praying and earnestly supplicating him, I obtained from 
 him with great difficulty the favour of conducting me 
 on the route—upon his own terms. This gentleman taking 
 me to his house, in the first place, for nine-and-twenty 
 days, beginning immediately from the new moon, made me 
 perform my lustrations, conducting me down, at the first 
 dawn of day, to the Euphrates, and addressing some long 
 speech to the rising sun, which I did not very well under¬ 
 stand : for, like incompetent criers at the games, his 
 utterance was rapid and indistinct. However, he seemed 
 to be invoking certain daemons. After the incantation, 
 when he had spit three times 1 in my face, I returned home, 
 carefully avoiding the gaze of persons I met on the road. 
 Our food was hard-shelled fruits, 2 our drink milk and honey 
 and water, and the water of the Choaspes, 3 and our bed was 
 under the open sky, upon the grass. When there had been 
 sufficient dietetic preparation, about midnight he would lead 
 me to the river Tigris and cleanse me, and wipe me dry, and 
 
 1 Άποπτνσας. Used absolutely . Άποπτΰσαντος (sub. αυτοϋ), is the 
 grammatical construction. But the old reading ίπανήίΐ (rejected by 
 Hemsterhuis), which obviates a grammatical solecism, is preferable. 
 
 2 Άκρόδρυα ( άκρος — δρυς), in original meaning acorns. By Blato (Κρίηας. 
 115) and Xenophon [Οίκον, xix. 12) used for fruit-trees generally. Cf. 
 Clemens Alex. (IIat£. ii. l),who informs us that “Matthew, the Apostle, 
 lived upon seeds, and nut-fruits ( άκρόδρνα ), and vegetables, and did not 
 eat flesh-meats.” 
 
 3 A tributary of the Tigris : in modern geography, the Ivara-Sun. 
 It was famous for the purity of its water, which was so highly esteemed 
 that the Persian despots were accustomed to carry it with them on their 
 campaigns. Cf. Tibullus, El. iv. 1 ; Pliny, Hist. Nat. xxxi. 3. 23. 
 
270 
 
 MENIPPUS : OR, THE ORACLE OF THE DEAD. 
 
 he purified me all round with lighted torch, and squill , 1 and 
 several other rites , at the same time muttering the incanta¬ 
 tion. Then, having thoroughly charmed my entire person, 
 and made a pass with his body round me that I might not 
 be injured by the ghosts, he brought me back to his house 
 as I was; making me walk backwards. For the rest of the 
 time we were engaged in preparations for our voyage. He 
 himself put on a certain magical robe, for the most part 
 like the Persian, and he brought and equipped me in these 
 things—the felt cap , 2 the lion’s skin, and the lyre, to make 
 them complete. And he warned me, if anyone asked my 
 name, not to say Menippus, but Herakles, or Odysseus, or 
 Orpheus . 3 
 
 Pldlonides. For what purpose that, pray, Menippus P 
 For I don’t understand the reason either of your dress or 
 of your names. 
 
 Menippus. Yet it is plain enough, and not at all myste¬ 
 rious, for, since they descended alive, before us, to Hades, 
 he thought, if he made me resemble them, I should easily 
 escape the observation of HDakus’s guard, and slip in with¬ 
 out challenge, inasmuch as I should be more familiar to 
 him in tragic costume, and be well recommended by my 
 equipment. Day, then, was now just beginning to appear ; 
 and going down to the river we busied ourselves about 
 weighing anchor. There had been got ready for him a 
 
 1 Σ/αλλ# —“ sea-leek,” used in purificatory rites. See Arist. Περί 
 Ζώων 'I στ. v. 30; Pliny, Hist. Nat. xix. 5. 30; Varro, Her. Bus. ii. 
 7,8; Mart. Epig. x. 4. 
 
 2 T<p πϊλφ (Lat. pileus), a semi-oval cap of felt, fitting close to the 
 head—whereas the πέτασος and κανσία were broad-brimmed and served 
 as a protection from sun or rain, and much resembled the round felt-hat 
 of the present day. These broad-brimmed hats were of Thessalian and 
 Macedonian origin. It was only in travelling that the Greeks wore a 
 head-covering of any kind. Cf. Hesiod. ’Epya και Ήμ. 545 ; Lucian, 
 Άναχάρσις, 16; Herod, iii. 12; Tertullian, De Sped. 21. Charon is 
 usually represented with the πίλος , as boatmau. See Muller, Handbuch 
 der Archaol.; Becker, Charicles. 
 
 3 Because these heroes were privileged, as having already made ac¬ 
 quaintance with Pluto and Persephone. The son of Alkmene had ven¬ 
 tured on two descents—one to drag Kerberus off, and the other to 
 deliver Alkestis. Orpheus made the terrible journey to rescue his 
 “ half-regained Eurydice.” For a humorous representation of Herakles, 
 with his club and lion’s skin, see Aristoph. Barp. 
 
MENIPPUS : OR, THE ORACLE OF THE DEAD. 
 
 271 
 
 boat, and victims, and honey-cake, and other offerings , as 
 many as are serviceable for the initiation. Embarking, 
 then, all our cargo, thus we at length also ourselves— 
 
 “ Embark, in soul grief-stricken : down our cheeks coursed many a 
 tear-drop,” 1 
 
 and for some time we were borne gently down on the stream ; 
 and after that we sailed into the marshes and lake, in which 
 the Euphrates disappears. Crossing this, we arrive at a 
 certain deserted spot, woody, and impenetrable to the sun, 
 upon which we disembark, Mithrobarzanes leading the way, 
 and dug a pit, and cut the throats of the sheep, and poured 
 out the blood as a libation about the trench : 2 while the 
 Magician, meanwhile, holding a flaming torch, no longer 
 in a subdued voice, but, crying out as loud as he could, in¬ 
 voked all the daemons together, the Avenging Goddesses , 3 
 and the Erinyes— 
 
 “ Nocturnal goddess, Hekate, and dread Persephoneia,” 4 
 
 mixing up at the same time certain foreign, obscure, and 
 many-syllabled names. At once all the neighbourhood was 
 violently shaken, and under the force of the spell the ground 
 was burst open, and the bark of Kerberus was heard in the 
 distance, and the business was exceedingly desperate and 
 gloomy :— 
 
 “ Yea, in his underworld-recess Lord Aides was frighted.” 5 
 
 Eor now the principal infernal sights were plainly revealed 
 —the lake, and the Pyriphlegethon, and the palace of 
 
 1 B αίνομεν άχννμενοι, θαλερόν κατά δάκρυ χεοντες. —Ό$. xi. 5. 
 
 2 Closely following the precedent set by the prototype, Odysseus, 
 which, also, had been too faithfully followed by Virgil’s hero :— Όδ. xi.; 
 2En. vi. 243-254. 
 
 3 ΤΙοινάς. The Poence were mere personifications of avenging 
 Justice, and were closely allied with and, indeed, were almost synony¬ 
 mous with the Erinyes.—See ^Esch. Ευμεν. 323. 
 
 4 Και νυχίαν Έκάτην και επαινήν ΙΙερσεφόνειαν. A parody, apparently, 
 of an Homeric verse. 
 
 5 Έ^εισεϊ' δ’ΰπενερθεν άναζ άνεμων Άιδωνενς (Ίλ. χχ. 61), Prof. 
 Newman’s version. The allusion is to the terrific combat among the 
 Celestials, which shook the whole frame of Nature. Cf. Par. Lost, vi. 
 “ Tantaene animis coelestibus irae ? ” 
 
272 
 
 MEN1PPUS : OR, THE ORACLE OP THE DEAD. 
 
 Pluto. Descending, however, through the chasm, we 
 found Rhadamanthys all but dead with fright. Kerberus 
 barked a little, and stirred himself ; but, when I quickly 
 struck my lyre, he was at once charmed to silence by the 
 melody. 
 
 When we arrived at the lake, we all but failed to get a 
 passage, for the ferry-boat was already full, and resounding 
 with lamentations. All the passengers were covered with 
 wounds—one in the leg, another in the head, a third 
 mutilated in some other part, having just come, as it 
 appeared to me, fresh from some war. However, the 
 excellent Charon, when he saw the lion’s skin, supposing 
 me to be Herakles, received me on board, and was de¬ 
 lighted to ferry me across, and, upon our disembarcation, 
 pointed out to us the path to he taken. As we were in 
 darkness, Mithrobarzanes led the way, and I followed, 
 sticking close behind him, until we come to a very spacious 
 meadow, planted with asphodel. Here, you must know, 
 there kept hovering about us the shadows of the dead, 
 squeaking . 1 Gradually advancing, we arrive at the tri¬ 
 bunal of Minos: he was seated upon a certain elevated 
 throne, and about him stood the Pcenae, and Avenging 
 Demons, and the Erinyes. On either side there w r ere 
 brought up, in order, a number of individuals bound with a 
 long chain; they were said to be adulterers, and procurers, 
 and farmers of the public revenues, and fawning adulators, 
 and public informers, and a similar crowd of such as dis¬ 
 turb the whole harmony of human existence. And, apart, 
 the rich, and hard exactors of usury approached, pale, and 
 with fat paunches , 2 and full of gout, each of them being 
 sentenced to the pillory, and a “ crow ” of two hundred- 
 
 1 ΎετριγυΖαι. So the ghosts of the wicked suitors :— 
 
 τρίζονσαι εποντο ' 
 
 Ώς S' ore νυκτερινές μνχφ άντρου θεσπεσίοιον 
 
 Τρίζονσαι ποτεονται. — ’OS. χχίν. 5-7. 
 
 Upon which Barnes, following Eustathius, explains that the poet 
 “ rightly compares ghosts to bats, because they appear only at night, 
 because they sleep very little, because they produce a whirring sound, 
 because they are neither animate nor inanimate.” 
 
 2 Τϊρογάστορες. “ Montani quoque venter adest abdomine tardus.” 
 Juv. Sat. iv. 107. Cf. ’Επ. ΙΙαυλ. προς Tir. i. 12, γάστερες άργαι. 
 
MENIPPUS : OR, THE ORACLE OF THE DEAD. 273 
 
 weight . 1 Standing close by, we watched what was happen¬ 
 ing, and listened to their defence of themselves: while 
 certain strange and unexpected counsel arraigned them. 
 
 Philonides. In heaven’s name, who w'ere they ? Don’t, 
 pray, shirk telling me this, also. 
 
 Menippus. You know, I presume, those shadows that are 
 projected from bodies against the sun ? 
 
 Philonides. Of course I do. 
 
 Menippus. They, when we die, then, become accusers and 
 witnesses against us, and convicters of crimes perpetrated 
 during life; and they have the reputation of being exceedingly 
 trustworthy, inasmuch as they are always associated with, 
 and never separated from our bodies . 2 Minos, however, after 
 careful examination, dismissed each of the criminals to the 
 place of the wicked, to undergo punishment proportioned to 
 his deeds. With especial severity did he treat those of them 
 who were swollen with pride on account of their riches and 
 power, and had demanded all but divine worship , 3 from de¬ 
 testation of their (short-lived) arrogance and haughtiness; 
 and because they did not choose to remember they were 
 mere mortals, and in chance possession of mortal goods. 
 Well, they, stripping themselves of all these splendours— 
 I mean their wealth, and birth, and imperial power—stood 
 by, perfectly naked, and with downcast looks, reflecting on 
 the happiness they had among us as on some dream. So I, 
 observing this, was delighted beyond measure, and, if I 
 knew any one of them, I would approach him in a quiet sort 
 of way, and remind him “what he was in life, and what airs 
 he then gave himself, when numbers of people stood at his 
 
 1 The κόραξ, or crow , appears to have been a sort of movable pillory, 
 like the Latin furca, with which slaves were commonly tortured, so well 
 known to the readers of Plautus. 
 
 2 This use of the “ Shadows,” more ingenious than satisfactory, of 
 course fails for the greatest part of human life. “The transformation 
 of the shadows into witnesses is,” remarks Wieland, “sufficiently adven¬ 
 turous. Their only failure is that, just where they would be most 
 useful—viz., in respect of crimes committed in the dark—they are wholly 
 useless.” The qualifying tlveq αυτών, of the common text, is reasonably 
 suspected by Lehmann. 
 
 3 The qualifying “ all but” ( μονονονχι ) we must suppose to have been 
 dictated by prudence. The Roman princes, from Augustus, were actually 
 deified, and after death, were entitled divi, having assigned to them 
 altars and sacrifices. See Tacitus, An. and Hist., passim. 
 
 T 
 
274 MENIPPUS : OR, THE ORACLE OF THE DEAD. 
 
 gateway, waiting patiently for his appearance, and pushed 
 about, and shut out by his domestics ; while the great man, 
 in some sort of purple, or gold-hemmed, or variegated robe, 
 at length, scarcely would rise to them, and imagined he 
 would render those who addressed him happy and blest, if he 
 stretched out his hand or foot for them to kiss.” Upon 
 hearing this, they were greatly chagrined. 
 
 Meanwhile, one particular case was decided leniently by 
 Minos. Aristippus , 1 the Cyrenian, came up—they hold him 
 in honour, and he has the greatest influence with those 
 below—and obtained the respite of Dionysius the Sikeliot 
 from his sentence (who had been charged by Dion with many 
 iniquitous crimes , 2 and had been witnessed against by his 
 own shadow), as he was within an ace of being bound to the 
 Chimeera, by alleging that he had been ready and judicious in 
 his pecuniary gifts to several men of learning. However, 
 taking our leave of the tribunal, we arrive at the place of 
 punishment. Here, my friend, many and pitiful indeed, were 
 the things to be heard and seen ; 3 for, at the same time, was 
 heard the sound of scourges, and the wailing of those who 
 were being roasted in the lire, and instruments of torture, and 
 pillories, and wheels ; and the Chimsera tore them to pieces, 
 and Kerberus gnawed them. All were being punished 
 together, kings, slaves, viceroys, poor, rich, beggars; and 
 all repented them of the bad deeds they had committed. 
 Some of them we recognized at a glance—such of them 
 as had recently died. These began to envelop their per¬ 
 sons, and turned their faces aw T ay; but if, by chance, 
 
 1 The disciple of Sokrates, and founder of the Cyrenaic School, as it ( 
 was termed from his birthplace. Like others of the Sokratics, but to a 
 greater degree than any of them, he differed widely from his master. 
 His characteristic teaching was selfish gratification. For some time he 
 lived in high favour at the Court of Dionysius of Syracuse. See Diog. 
 Laert. ; Horace, Ep. i. 1,18 ; i. 17, 23. Plato, Φαι<5., Xen. Άττομν. ii, 1. 
 Why he was so popular with the authorities of Hades, is not quite obvious. 
 
 2 See Plutarch, Βίοι Tlap. 
 
 3 “ Quivi sospiri, pianti, ed alti guai 
 
 Kisonavan. 
 
 Diverse lingue, orribili favelle,” etc. 
 
 Dante, Inferno, iii. 
 
 Some graphic painting of Tartarus (of a Greek Orcagna or Breughel), 
 doubtless, was present to the satirist’s mind, as well as the Phcsdon and the 
 Politeia (x. ad fin.) of Plato, in writing this highly remarkable passage. 
 
MENIRPUS : OR, THE ORACLE OF THE DEAD. 275 
 
 they glanced at ns, it was in a very slavish and fawning 
 way: and that, though they had been tyrannical and 
 snpercilions, to an extent you cannot conceive. To the 
 poor, on the other hand, remission of half their sufferings 
 was granted ; and, after they had had an interval of respite, 
 their punishments were wont to be renewed. In fact, I 
 saw, too, those 'punishments famous in story—Ixion and 
 Sisyphus, and the Phrygian Tantalus in ill case, and the 
 earth-born Tityus, Herakles ! of what bulk ; he covered, as 
 he lay, you may be sure a whole field’s space . 1 Passing these, 
 we enter the Acherusian Plain ; 2 and we find there the demi¬ 
 gods, and the Heroines , 3 and the rest of the crowd of the 
 Dead living according to their nationalities and tribes— 
 some individuals of ancient aspect and musty, and, as 
 says Homer, a “feeble folk” ; 4 and others fresh and well- 
 preserved, especially the Egyptians among them, on account 
 of the durableness of their preserving, salting, and pickling. 
 The distinguishing each individual, however, was, by no 
 means, at all easy; for all are as like one to another as 
 peas, when the bones have once been stripped bare. How¬ 
 ever, with difficulty, and after a long time, by narrowly 
 inspecting them, we did recognize some of them. They were 
 lying one upon the other, shadow} 7 , dimly seen, and obscure, 
 and no longer possessing anything of what are counted 
 beauties among us. I need not assure you, as there were 
 numerous skeletons lying in the same spot, all alike, and 
 with a sort of horrible and vacant stare, and showing their 
 gumless teeth, I began to be at a loss with myself how I 
 
 1 So Milton’s Satan 
 
 “extended long and large. 
 
 Lay floating many a rood ; in bulk as huge, 
 
 As whom the fables name of monstrous size, 
 
 Titanian, or Earth-born, that warred on Jove.” 
 
 Cf. ’0<5. xi. 575, where the giant covers nine acres. For Ixion, see θ. Δ. vi. 
 
 2 With which Dante’s “ il primo cerchio” may be compared ; where 
 reside those unfortunate pre-Christian heroes, or saints, who were ex¬ 
 cluded from Elysium, as not having the baptismal passport:— 
 
 “ perch’ e’ non ebber battesmo, 
 
 Cli’e porta della Eede, che tu credi.” 
 
 3 Demi-jroddesses, daughters of the Deities who mixed with mortal 
 
 fry 7 0 
 
 women. 
 
 4 ’ Αμινηνονς, See Νεκ. Διαλ., i. xx., etc. 
 
276 MENIPPUS : OR, THE ORACLE OF THE DEAD. 
 
 should distinguish Thersites from the handsome Nireus, 
 or the beggar Irus 1 from the king of the Phaeakians, or 
 Pyrrhias, the cook, from Agamemnon : for nothing any 
 longer of their old characteristics remained to them, but 
 their bones were all alike, indistinguishable and inscribed 
 with no titles, and impossible any longer to be distinguished 
 by anyone. 
 
 So, of a truth, as I looked upon those things, human 
 life appeared to me to resemble a sort of long public pro¬ 
 cession, and Fortune appeared to have the management of 
 and to arrange every particular, while she assigned to those 
 taking part in the Show various and variegated costumes. 
 One she would take, if so it chanced, and equip in royal 
 fashion, and put a tiara upon his head, and assign to him a 
 number of body-guards, and crown his head with the diadem. 
 Another she would clothe in the dress of a domestic. A 
 third individual she would decorate w T ith beauty ; a fourth 
 she turned out ugly, deformed, and an object of ridicule; 
 for it is proper, I imagine, that the Show be composed 
 of all sorts and conditions of men. And frequently, even 
 in the midst of the procession, she would change the 
 costumes of some of its constituents , and not permit them to 
 go through with it to the end, as they had been first 
 arranged ; but, changing the dress of a Krcesus, she com¬ 
 pelled him to receive in exchange the dress of a domestic 
 and a captive: while a Maeandrius , 2 who up to that time 
 had been among the slaves in the Show, she invested with 
 the despotic sovereignty of a Polykrates, and for some time 
 suffered him to use the dress. But, when the time for the 
 Show had passed, at that instant each one restoring his 
 paraphernalia, and putting off his dress with his body, 
 
 1 See Όδ. xviii. for this counterpart of Thersites of the Iliad, an 
 insatiate glutton, who, 
 
 μετά δ’επρεπε γαστέρε pc'tpyij, 
 
 Άζηχες φαγψεν καί ττάμεν ονδε οί μν ες, 
 
 Ονδε βίη — 
 
 Pyrrhias (Lat. Rufus), “ red-headed,” is, probably, some comic cha¬ 
 racter. It was a common name for slaves from the North. See Ύίμων, 
 23; ΤΙερε Όρχμσ. 19. 
 
 the Maeandrius here referred to was the secretary of Polykrates, 
 and is noticed by Herod, iii. 123; Cf. Χάρων, 14. 
 
MENIPPUS : OR, THE ORACLE OF THE DEAD. 
 
 277 
 
 becomes as lie was before, in no respect different from his 
 neighbours. 
 
 Some, from folly, as soon as Fortune stands at their 
 side and demands back her decorations, are grieved 
 and are indignant, as though deprived of some of their own 
 property, and as if they were not giving up what they had 
 had the use of for a brief space. I suppose you have often 
 seen of such as are employed on the Stage, those tragic 
 actors, who, according to the requirements of the dramas, 
 become at one time Kroesus and, at another, Priam or 
 Agamemnon; and the same person, if chance so directs, 
 who imitated, a little before, very grandly the dress and bear¬ 
 ing of a Kekrops or an Erechtheus, at the summons of the 
 poet, in a little while comes forward as a domestic. And 
 now, when the drama is at an end, each divesting himself of 
 that gold-embroidered garment, and laying aside his mask, 
 and descending from his tragic-boots, moves about in public 
 as a poor and humble individual, no longer Agamemnon, 
 the son of Atreus, nor Kreon, the son of Menoekeus, but 
 now called by his proper name, Polias , 1 the son of Charikles, 
 of the borough of Sunion, or Satyrus, the son of Theo- 
 geiton, of the borough of Marathon. Of such sort, in fact, 
 are the affairs of men, as they seemed to me, as I then re¬ 
 garded them. 
 
 Philonides. Tell me, Menippus, and they, who possess 
 these costly and lofty tombs above upon the earth, and 
 monumental slabs , 2 and pictures, and inscriptions, are they 
 no more held in honour among them than the plebeian dead ? 
 
 Menijppus. Out upon you! Nonsense ! At all events, if 
 you just saw Mausolus himself (the Karian I mean, who is 
 so famous for his tomb) I know well that you would not have 
 stopped laughing—in such humble fashion was he cast away 
 in some remote corner, skulking among the rest of the 
 commonalty of the Dead, getting as much enjoyment, as 
 
 1 See Ζεΰς Tpay. 3, Περί των επί Μισθ<ρ Συν. 5. Of Satyrus, little or 
 nothing is found elsewhere. The surnames of Sunian and Marathonian 
 were given to them simply as members of the boroughs of Sunion and 
 Marathon. 
 
 2 Στηλας (Lat. cippos), on which were inscribed the military victories, 
 dedications, votes of thanks, &c., of the dead prince or plutocrat. Cf. 
 Aristoph. Άχαρ. 692 ; Herod, ii. 102 (of Sesostris), iv. 87 (of Dareius), 
 vi. 14 j Thucyd. v. 56. 
 
278 
 
 MENIPPUS : OR, THE ORACLE OF THE DEAD. 
 
 it seemed to me, from his tomb as he was weighed down 
 from having such enormous weight of material pressing on 
 him . 1 For, when FEakus, my friend, measures out for each his 
 place—and he gives at most not more than a foot 2 —he 
 must be content to lie contracted in a very moderate space. 
 But you would laugh, I think, much more, if you saw those 
 who were kings and viceroys with us acting the beggar 
 with them, and either selling salt herrings for want, or 
 teaching the rudiments of grammar, insulted by any 
 common person, and smitten on the cheek as if they were 
 the most despised of slaves. In fact, when I saw Philip 
 the Macedonian, I could not even contain myself. He was 
 pointed out to me in a corner, mending rotten shoes for a 
 pittance. Many others, too, one might see begging at the 
 cross-roads—I speak of the Xerxeses, and Dareiuses, and 
 Polykrateses . 3 
 
 Philonides. The account you give me of kings is a 
 strange one, and all but incredible. But how did Sokrates 
 fare, and Diogenes, and whoever else there was of the 
 philosophic tribe ? 
 
 Memppus. Sokrates perambulates there, cross-question¬ 
 ing everyone ; 4 and always in his company are Palamedes, 
 and Odysseus, and Xestor, and any other prattler of the 
 dead. His legs, however, were still puffed and swollen 
 out from the draught of poison. The most excellent 
 
 1 See Nt/c. Διαλ. xxiv. 
 
 2 “ Mors sola fatetur 
 
 Quantula sint hominum coi’puscula.”—Juv. Sat. x. 172-3. 
 ki Ill weaved Ambition, how much art thou shrunk ! 
 
 When that this body did contain a spirit, 
 
 A kingdom for it was too small a bound, 
 
 But now two paces of the vilest earth 
 Is room enough.” 
 
 Shakespeare, Henry IV., pt. i. v. 4. 
 
 3 Rabelais represents (among other distinguished residents in Hades) 
 Dareius as a care-taker in very humble capacity (cnreur de retraicts); 
 Xerxes as crying mustard ; while Alexander the Great has to take up 
 with tailoring. Sulla acts as assistant ( riveran ) to Charon. Pope 
 Alexander VI. finds a livelihood as a ratcatcher. (Livre ii. 30.) 
 
 4 So he is represented in the Elysian Fields, in the ’Αληθής Ιστορία— 
 καί μοι εϋόκει εράν τοΰ Υακίνθου τα πολλά γονν εκείνον διίιλεγχεν 
 (ϋ. 221). Rhadamanthys, indeed, was so much bored by this perpetual 
 use of the ’έλεγχος and ειρωνεία, that he had often threatened to turn him 
 out of Elysium, unless he desisted. 
 
HENIPPUS : OR, THE ORACLE OF THE DEAD. 279 
 
 Diogenes resides near Sardanapalus, the Assyrian, and 
 Midas, the Phrygian, and certain other exquisites; and 
 when he hears them wailing and lamenting, and remeasur¬ 
 ing their ancient fortune, he laughs and is delighted, and, 
 for the most part, he lies upon his back and sings in a very 
 harsh and savage voice, drowning their wailings ; so that 
 the gentlemen are much annoyed, and are seriously con¬ 
 sidering about moving their quarters, as they cannot put 
 up with Diogenes. 
 
 Philonides. Enough of this. But what was the Decree, 
 which you told me, at first, they had carried against the 
 Plutocrats ? 
 
 Menippus. Well remembered, for I don’t know how I 
 wandered entirely from my story, when I had purposed to 
 speak about that. Well, while I was staying with them, 
 the presiding magistrates proposed a meeting of the 
 Popular Assembly in respect of the common interests. As, 
 then, I observed a number of them running together, I at 
 once mixed myself up with the dead men, and forthwith 
 became myself, too, one of their members of Parliament. 
 Other matters were duly settled, and, last of all, the case 
 of the Rich. When, you must know, many and terrible 
 accusations had been brought against them—violence, ar¬ 
 rogance, haughtiness, and injustice—at length a certain 
 popular leader rose, and read the Decree to this effect:— 
 
 The Decree. 
 
 “ Whereas the Plutocrats perpetrate a number of ini¬ 
 quities in life, by plunder, by violence, and in every 
 way utterly despising the Poor, be it enacted by the 
 Senate and the People that, when they die, their bodies 
 undergo punishment, just as do those of other worthless 
 people, but that the souls be sent up above again into life, 
 and enter into asses , 1 until they have, in such state, passed 
 
 1 As is well known, the person of the hero of the Lucianic " Ονος (a 
 curtailed imitation of the De Aurco Aslno of Apuleius) is bewitched into 
 the form of an ass, and in that quadruped condition meets with a 
 variety of unpleasant experiences, until by eating rose-leaves (the 
 emblem of the secresy of the Mysteries), he is re-transformed into biped 
 and human shape. Bp. Warburton (Divine Legation of Moses), with 
 more ingenuity than success, maintains the purpose of The Golden Ass 
 to have been a recommendation of m?jsticizecl Paganism as against the 
 then progressing Christian religion. 
 
280 
 
 MENIPPUS : OR, THE ORACLE OF THE DEAD. 
 
 through two hundred and fifty thousand years, becoming 
 asses from generation to generation, and carrying heavy 
 burdens, and driven by the poor labourers ; and after that 
 period, that it be permitted them finally to die. 
 
 “Dryskull, the son of Skeleton, of the wardship of Dead- 
 borougb, of the tribe of Corpseland, proposed this bill.” 
 
 When this bill had been read, the magistrates gave 
 their votes by ballot, and the people by show of hands ; and 
 Brimo 1 roared, and Kerberus howled; for in this way the 
 resolutions, that have been read, became complete and bind' 
 ing. Such, I assure you, were the proceedings in the 
 Popular Assembly. I—in pursuance of the object of my visit 
 —approached Teiresias, and, after explaining everything, 
 begged him to tell me what sort of life he considers to be 
 about the best. Then with a laugh—he is a somewhat blind, 
 little old man, sallow, and shrill-voiced—“ My son,” says he, 
 “ I know the cause of your doubt and perplexity, that it 
 originated with the philosophers, who do not agree among 
 themselves : but it is not permitted me to reveal it to you, for 
 it has been forbidden by Rhadamanthys.” “ Oh! pray, don’t 
 refuse, my good little father,” said I, “ but tell me, and don’t 
 despise me who grope about in life blinder than yourself.” 
 Thereupon, you must know, he took me aside and withdrew to 
 a considerable distance from the rest, and, quietly stooping 
 to my ear, he says : “ The best and soundest life is that of 
 persons in private station. So do you, leaving off the folly 
 of inquiring into transcendental subtleties, and searching 
 into final ends and causes, and rejecting with contempt 
 their learned sophisms and syllogisms, and deeming such 
 things mere trifling and nonsense, search diligently for this 
 one thing alone—how, making wise use of what you have, 
 you may pass by with a smile of contempt most opinions, 
 and pursue nothing with too serious aim.” 
 
 So spake he, and back he coursed through Asphodelian meadows, 2 
 and I —for it was now evening—“Pray, come,” say I, 
 
 1 “ The terrible one,” an alias of Ilekate or Persephone. Cf. Apollonius, 
 ’Apyov. iii. 861. 
 
 ■ Ως είπών πάλιν ώρτο κατ’ ’Ασφόδελόν λειμώνα. The latter half of 
 this parody is quoted from Όδ. xi. 538, 572. 
 
MENIPPUS : OR, THE ORACLE OF THE DEAD. 281 
 
 “ Mithrobarzanes, why do we longer linger, and not 
 return again to life ? ” And to this rejoined he : “ Courage, 
 Menippus; for I will show you a short and easy path.” 
 And, in fact, he led me to a certain spot, darker and 
 murkier than the rest, pointing to a certain dim and faint 
 light in the distance flowing, as it were, through a chink. 
 “ That,” said he, “ is the shrine of Trophonius, and from 
 that place the people of Bceotia make their descent. 
 Ascend, then, by this road, and immediately you will be 
 upon Hellenic soil.” Delighted at what he told me was I, 
 and, after taking leave of the Magus, with very much 
 difficulty I crept through the narrow mouth, and here I 
 am, somehow or other, in Lebadeia . 1 
 
 1 Now Livadhia, a town in Boeotia. The Oracle of Trophonius was 
 situated in a cavern not far distant from the town. See Νεκ. Αιαλ. iii. 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
INDEX. 
 
 Academy, the New, the scepticism 
 of, 144 note. 
 
 Acheron, an Infernal River, 139 
 note. 
 
 Acherusian lake, the pagan Purga- 
 torio , 139 note. 
 
 Acherusian plains, 279, 291. 
 
 Achilleus, alluded to, 76, 77, 80,117, 
 128, 129, 133, 140, 163, 197, 249. 
 
 Adagia , of Erasmus, referred to, 98, 
 100, 101, 103 notes. 
 
 Adam, the English equivalent for 
 the Greek proverbial Iapetus, 3 
 note. 
 
 Admetus, Apollo servant to, 217. 
 
 Adonis, the Syrian favourite of 
 Aphrodite, subject of an Elegy 
 of Bion, 23, 28 notes. 
 
 Adrastus, accidentally slays the son 
 of Kroesus, 220. 
 
 iEakus, one of the Infernal Judges, 
 alluded to, 94, 122, 137, 144, 241, 
 270, 278. 
 
 vEgina, a nymph beloved by Zeus, 
 3 note. 
 
 JEgyptus, uncle of the nymph Amy- 
 mone, 70. 
 
 ./Elian (an Italian of the third cen¬ 
 tury, a.d., published in Greek, 
 two compilations, the Various His¬ 
 tory and History of Animals), refe¬ 
 rences to, 36,72,85,103, 120,142, 
 145. 
 
 yEneas, warned by Poseidon to 
 absent himself from battle, 213 
 note. 
 
 JEneis , see Virgil. 
 
 vEschylus, referred to, 1, 5, 58, 69, 
 85, 106, 140, 156, 173, 217. 
 
 .Etna Mt., Polyphemus at, 62; 
 
 Hephaestus at the forge of, 76; 
 fabled scene of the suicide of 
 Empedokles, 142 and note. 
 
 Agamemnon, in Hades, 140,163-4; 
 deceived by Zeus, 199 ; referred 
 to, 276, 277. 
 
 ’Αγαθή ΤυχΓ;, a solemn Greek for¬ 
 mula, 234 note. 
 
 Agathokles, a physician, 244. 
 
 Agenor, the father of Europa, 55 
 note, 83. 
 
 Aglaia, Nereus boasts to be the son 
 of, 153. 
 
 Agra, famous for the Taj Mahal, 
 159 note. 
 
 Agrigentum, a colony of Gela, 106 
 note. 
 
 Aias (Telamonian), his speech to 
 Odysseus, 112 and note; in Hades, 
 140, 163. 
 
 Ai'doneus, paragogic form of A ides 
 or Hades, 271. 
 
 Akrisius, the father of Danae, 77. 
 
 Ahrodrua , nut - fruits, 269 and 
 note. 
 
 Akropolis (of Athens), an abode of 
 Pan, 52. 
 
 Aktason, the hunter, cause of his 
 death, 32 ; referred to, 231 and 
 note. 
 
 Alekto, one of the Eumenides, 256 
 note. 
 
 Alexander (or Paris), the judg¬ 
 ment of, 38-48 
 
 Alexander (of Macedon), in Hades, 
 114-118, 120-127; his portraits 
 by Lysippus, 177 note; Thebes 
 destroyed by, 255 note ; his occu¬ 
 pation in Hades, 278 note. 
 
 Alexander (Alessandro) VI., Pope, 
 
284 
 
 INDEX. 
 
 liis occupation in Hades, 278 
 note. 
 
 Alexis, Comic poet, referred to, 92 
 note; Menander borrows from, 
 154 note. 
 
 Alkamenes, Greek sculptor, referred 
 to, 176 note. 
 
 Alkestis, of Euripides, referred to, 
 97 note. 
 
 Alkestis, wife of Admetus, brought 
 from Hades by Herakles, 286 note. 
 
 Alkibiades, his life saved by Sokra- 
 tes, 108 note; a principal figure 
 in the Symposion of Plato, 144 
 note ; referred to, 221. 
 
 Alkinous, in Hades, 276. 
 
 Alkiphron, epistolary writer, re¬ 
 ferred to, 182 note. 
 
 Alkmene, wife of Amphitryon, be¬ 
 loved by Zeus, 3 note , 21,55,132. 
 
 Alpheius, a River-God, questioned 
 by Poseidon respecting his rape 
 of the nymph Arethusa, 75. 
 
 Amaurotes, the allies of Pantagruel, 
 262 note. 
 
 Ambrosia, how regarded by the Py¬ 
 thagoreans, 9 note ; its enhanced 
 price noticed by Momus, 226, 
 235. 
 
 Amenena harena , Homeric synonym 
 for the Dead, 89 note. 
 
 Ammianus Marcellinus (Italian his¬ 
 torian in Greek of the fourth cen¬ 
 tury, a.d.), referred to, 156, 232. 
 
 Ammon (Zeus), claimed by Alex¬ 
 ander of Macedon as his father, 
 116, 120, 124, 127; ram’s horns 
 an appendage of, 232. 
 
 Amphiaraus, his oracle near Thebes, 
 92 note. 
 
 Amphilochus, a hero of Thebes and 
 Ilium, in Hades, 92; notice of his 
 oracular repute, 92 note. 
 
 Amphitrite, the Sea-Goddess, at the 
 nuptials of Thetis and Peleus, 
 68 ; disputes with Poseidon as to 
 the burial of Helle, 74; at the 
 nuptials of Europa, 84. 
 
 Amphitryon, husband of Alkmene, 
 21, 132. 
 
 Amphitryon, of Plautus, Moliere, and 
 Dryden, 21 note. 
 
 Amyklae, in Lakonia, the burial- 
 place of Hyakinthus, 28. 
 
 Amykus, the royal Bithynian pugi¬ 
 list, antagonist of Polydeukes, 58, 
 and note. 
 
 Amymone, Poseidon’s rape of, 69- 
 
 71. 
 
 Amyntas, father of Philip of Mace¬ 
 don, 124. 
 
 Anakreon, his (spurious) Odes, 
 referred to, 252 note. 
 
 Anchises, beloved by Aphrodite, 23; 
 his good fortune sneered at by 
 Hera, 41, and note; noticed by 
 Momus, 231. 
 
 Andokides, an Attic orator, referred 
 to, 235 note. 
 
 Andria, the, of Terence, quotfed, 29 
 note ; referrred to, 248 note. 
 
 Andromeda , her rescue by Perseus 
 narrated, 83-82. 
 
 Andrapodistes (kidnapper), exten¬ 
 sive trade of the, 70 note. 
 
 Aneskolepismenos (“crucified” or 
 “ impaled ”), 244, and note. 
 
 Ayitandros (“vicarious substitute ”), 
 a word peculiar to Lucian, 131, 
 and note. 
 
 Anthologia Greeca, epigrams in, 
 quoted, 3, 49, 165, 240 notes. 
 
 Antikyras (the two), famous for 
 hellebore, 123 note. 
 
 Antilochus, son of Nestor, remon¬ 
 strates w T ith Achilleus in Hades, 
 128-130. 
 
 Antinous, the favourite of Hadrian 
 the Roman Emperor, 7 note; 
 numerous temples and statues 
 raised in his honour, 11 note ; re¬ 
 ferred to, 231 note. 
 
 Antioch, Christian, a witty satire of 
 the Emperor Julian against, 108 
 note. 
 
 Antiope, a nymph beloved by Zeus, 
 3 note, 172,174. 
 
 Antipater, Alexander of Macedon 
 writes a letter to, 122 note. 
 
 Antisthenes, founder of the Cynic 
 School, referred to, 88, 112 notes; 
 113; his indifference to the rites 
 of sepulture, 152 note ; in Hades, 
 155-158 ; referred to, 267 note. 
 
 Antux, a part of the Greek chariot, 
 57 note. 
 
 Anubis, the deified Egyptian dog, 
 
 72, and note , 122, 145 note ; his 
 
INDEX. 
 
 285 
 
 rank in Heaven, 177; Zeus ridi¬ 
 culed by Momus as, 232. 
 
 Anytus, a principal informer against 
 Sokrates, 222 note. 
 
 Aornus, a bill-lort on the Indus, 
 stormed by the Macedonians, 127 
 note. 
 
 Apelles, the laureate-painter of 
 Alexander of Macedon, 116,117, 
 
 177 notes. 
 
 Aphrodite (Venus), referred to, 
 16; charges Selene with her 
 amour with Endymion, 22-24; 
 upbraids Eros, 24-26 ; referred to, 
 29, 30; her liaison with Ares, 33- 
 34; interrogates Eros, 36-38; 
 before Paris, 38-48 ; her children 
 criticized by Apollo, 52-53; a 
 competitor for the golden apple, 
 60-69 ; at the bridal-procession of 
 Zeus and Europa, 84 ; referred to, 
 103,104; wounded in battle, 185. 
 
 Aphrodite, Anadyomene (“ rising 
 from the sea ”), the original of, 
 127 note ; referred to, 178, 255. 
 
 Aphrodite, “ the Golden,” 104,178. 
 
 Aphrodite, “the Knidian,” 10 note, 
 178, and note, 255 note. 
 
 Aphrodite, Cestus of, stolen by 
 Hermes, 16 ; Athena demands of 
 Paris its removal, 44 ; described, 
 44 note. 
 
 Apis, the sacred Egyptian Bull, 
 criticized by Momus, 232, and note. 
 
 Apokalupsis ( Apocalypse of St.John), 
 the, referred to, 222 note , 255 
 note. 
 
 Apollo, the lover of Daphne and 
 Hyakinthus, 4; discourses with 
 Hephaestus on the infant Hermes, 
 15-16; recounts to Hermes the 
 manner of the death of Hya¬ 
 kinthus, 27-28; envies Hephaestus 
 his beautiful wives, 29-30 ; Hera 
 ridicules his pretensions to uni¬ 
 versal knowledge, and his oracu¬ 
 lar jugglery, 31; informed by 
 Hermes of the revenge of He¬ 
 phaestus on Aphrodite and Ares, 
 33-31; criticizes Aphrodite’s pro¬ 
 geny, 53; discourses with Bac¬ 
 chus on Priapus, 51; identified 
 with Helios, in later Hellenic 
 theology, 56 note; criticizes the 
 
 divine pretensions of the Dios- 
 kuri, 58-60 ; his altercation with 
 Thanatos, 97 note ; his prophetic 
 pretensions ridiculed in Zeus the 
 Tragedian, 168-178 ; his gigantic 
 statue at Rhodes, 178, and note ; 
 his servitude with Admetus ridi¬ 
 culed by Cyniskus, 217; his 
 numerous prophet rivals, 233, and 
 note ; takes the chair at an Olym¬ 
 pian Convention, 235; his plu¬ 
 ralities abolished by Act of the 
 Olympian Parliament, 236. 
 
 Apollodorus ( Bibliotheca), referred 
 to, 5, 19, 22, 32, 35, 50, 55, 59, 
 69, 72, 74, 80, 136, 145, 154, 160, 
 165, 186, 231, 256 notes. 
 
 Apollonius (of Rhodes), Argonautica 
 cited, 58, 69, 81, 129, 280 notes. 
 
 Apollonius (of Tyana), his birth 
 miraculously announced, 66 note. 
 
 Appian (a Greek historian of Rome), 
 referred to, 119 note. 
 
 Apuleius (De Aureo Asino), relates 
 the immortalization of Psyche, 9 
 note; describes the representation 
 in sculpture of Diana and her 
 Dogs, 32 note; describes a theatri¬ 
 cal representation of the Judgment 
 of Paris, 48 note ; narrates a rabies. 
 panic, 134 note ; on the descent of 
 Psyche to Hades, quoted, 146 
 note; his De Magia referred to, 
 232 ; his De Aureo Asino referred 
 to, 242 note. 
 
 Aquarius (Constellation of), Zeus 
 promises Ganymedes to place 
 him in the Heavens as, 47 note. 
 
 Aratus (author of the Phenomena, 
 a poem), referred to, 80 note. 
 
 Araxes, a river of Armenia, referred 
 to, 157. 
 
 Arbela, the scene of one of the great 
 victories of Alexander of Mace¬ 
 don, noticed by Hannibal, 116; 
 by Alexander, 118. 
 
 Archimedes, the great mechanician, 
 referred to, 109 note. 
 
 Areiopagus (Court of) at Athens, 
 referred to, 222 note. 
 
 Ares (Mars), robbed by Hermes, 
 15; the lover of Aphrodite, 25, 
 30; caught in adultery with 
 Aphrodite, 33-34 ; conquered by 
 
286 
 
 INDEX. 
 
 Eros, 37; referred to, 39: ridi¬ 
 cules the threat of Zeus and his 
 golden chain, 49-59; wounded 
 by Diomedes, and conquered by 
 Athena, 199. 
 
 Arethusa, a Nereid nymph, beloved 
 by Alpheius, the story of, 65-66. 
 
 Argonauts, the, instructed by the 
 prophet Phineus, 160 note. 
 
 Argus, the guardian of Io, 5, and 
 note ; referred to, 42. 
 
 Argyraspids , a body-guard of the 
 Persian kings, 122 note. 
 
 Ariadne, the mistress of Dionysus, 
 her introduction into Heaven ridi¬ 
 culed by Momus, 229, and note. 
 
 Arion, the story of, related by the 
 Dolphins, 72-73. 
 
 Aristeas, a legacy-hunter, his man¬ 
 ner of death related, 112-113. 
 
 Aristeides, eulogized by Plutarch 
 at the expense of the military 
 heroes of history, 121 note ; in¬ 
 stanced by the philosopher 
 Damis, 205; by Cyniskus, 221. 
 
 Aristippus, the founder of the Cy- 
 renaic school, his manner of arri¬ 
 val in Hades, and his selfish prin¬ 
 ciples, 143, and note. 
 
 Aristodemus, a famous tragic actor, 
 200, and note. 
 
 Aristophanes, referred to, 14, 20, 
 37, 44, 87, 90, 92, 94, 106, 123, 
 140, 145, 162, 166, 170, 171, 172, 
 175, 179, 180, 183, 194, 196, 200, 
 203, 207, 217, 230, 232, 234, 239, 
 242, 253, 254, 257, 265, 270, 277 
 notes. 
 
 Arkadia, the especial abode of Pan, 
 52, and note. 
 
 Arnold, Th., Theophrastus quoted 
 by, 208 note. 
 
 Arrian (Anabasis), Alexander of 
 Macedon’s visit to the Oracle of 
 Zeus Ammon, related by, 116 
 note ; referred to, 122; rejects the 
 story of Alexander’s exploits at 
 Oxydraka?, 126 note. 
 
 Arsakes, a Persian Satrap, the 
 manner of his death described, 
 and his indignation at his forced 
 march to Hades on foot, 156-157. 
 
 Artaxerxes (Mnemon), King of 
 Persia, referred to, 150 note. 
 
 Artemis (Diana), satirized by Hera, 
 32 ; obstetrical duties transferred 
 to her, in later Hellenic theology, 
 32 note; why unassailed by 
 Eros, 38; her office as midwife, 
 59; metamorphoses the nymph 
 Arethusa, 65 note; her actions 
 ridiculed by the philosopher 
 Damis, 200 ; her sanguinary altar 
 in Tauris noticed by him, 203. 
 
 Artemisia, the sister and wife of 
 Mausolus, builds the famous tomb 
 to his memory, 150 note, 152. 
 
 Asia, gradual extension of the name, 
 45 note. 
 
 Asklepius (ZEsculapius), quarrels 
 with Herakles in Heaven, 25-27 ; 
 deals in medicine, 59 ; protected 
 by Zeus from the criticism of 
 Momus, 230 ; prohibited from the 
 trade in prophecy by Act of the 
 Celestial Parliament, 2,35. 
 
 Aspasia, mistress of Perikles, of 
 the class of hetaertz, 44 note. 
 
 Asphodel, a plant abundant in the 
 Elvsian Fields, 240, and note. 
 
 “Asphodelian Meadows,” quoted 
 by Menippus in a parody of the 
 Odyssey, 280, and note. 
 
 Ass, the Golden, of Apuleius, 
 noticed, 32, 48, 134, Ϊ46, 242, 
 279 notes. 
 
 Assyrians, the, sacrifice to the 
 Dove, 201, and note. 
 
 Asteria, beloved by Zeus, 3 note. 
 
 Atalanta, the Kalydonian heroine, 
 surpasses all the heroes of Hellas 
 in fleetness, 129 note. 
 
 Atalanta in Calydon (Swinburne’s), 
 referred to, 200 note. 
 
 Athamas, the father of Helle, 74, 
 231. 
 
 Athena (Minerva), Hephaestus as¬ 
 sists at her birth, 17-18; why 
 spared by Eros, 36,37; competitor 
 for the golden apple, 38-45, 68 ; 
 conspires with other divinities 
 against Zeus, 50; purifies the 
 daughters of Danaus, 71 note; 
 supplies Perseus with wings, 81 ; 
 punishes Teiresias, the prophet, 
 with blindness, 160 note ; favours 
 Telamonian Aias, 164 note ; ad¬ 
 vises her father, Zeus, 168, 171, 
 
INDEX. 
 
 287 
 
 172, 174; her part in the (Ho¬ 
 meric) battle of the Gods ridi¬ 
 culed by Damis, 199 ; prohibited 
 by Act of the Olympian Parlia¬ 
 ment from the practice of medi¬ 
 cine, 235. 
 
 Athena Parthenos and Promachos 
 (of Pheidias), on the Akropolis of 
 Athens, referred to, 10 note. 
 
 Athenians, the, reward bravery in 
 battle with suits of armour, 108 
 note. 
 
 Athens, distinguished par excellence 
 as u the city,” 264 note. 
 
 Athos, Mt., the canal of Xerxes 
 across the peninsula of, ridiculed 
 by Menippus, 140; allusion by 
 Juvenal to, 140 note. 
 
 Atreus, father of Agamemnon, re¬ 
 ferred to, 277. 
 
 Atropus (one of the three Sister- 
 Fates), the irreversible one , 219 
 note. 
 
 Attis or Atys, Aphrodite accuses 
 Eros of inflaming the Goddess 
 Rhea with love for, 24, and note ; 
 Hermes reproaches Zeus with his 
 admission to Heaven, 177 ; ridi¬ 
 culed by Momus, 232. 
 
 Augustin, St., maintains the reality 
 of the diabolic inspiration of the 
 Oracles, 233 note. 
 
 Aulularia, the, of Plautus, referred 
 to, 252 note. 
 
 Aurelius, Antoninus, alludes to 
 Menippus the Satirist, 86 note. 
 
 Aurora (Greek Eos), omits to re¬ 
 quire from Zeus for her favourite 
 everlasting youth with ever¬ 
 lasting life, 100 note. 
 
 Avare, L’, of Moliere, an imitation 
 of the Aulularia of Plautus, 252 
 note. 
 
 B. 
 
 Babylon, Alexander of Maced on in¬ 
 forms Diogenes, in Hades, that 
 he is lying unburied at, 121; 
 Stateira, second wife of Alexan¬ 
 der, murdered at, 126 note ; Me¬ 
 nippus, the Cynic, goes to consult 
 the Magi at, 262, 269. 
 
 Bacchus, see Dionysus. 
 
 Bacchce, of Euripides, referred to, 
 35 note, 231. 
 
 Baktra, the capital of Baktria, the 
 scene of the murder of Kleitus by 
 Alexander of Macedon, 116 ; re¬ 
 ferred to, 122. 
 
 Balbus, his syllogism in the De Nat. 
 Deorum of Cicero quoted by 
 Wieland, 207 note. 
 
 Barbaros, its proper signification, 
 82 note. 
 
 Barnes, an Homeric commentator, 
 his quotation of Eustathius, 272 
 note. 
 
 Bartoli, Pietro, his Recueil des Pein- 
 tures Antiques Trouvtes a Rome, 
 referred to, 69 note. 
 
 Beard, the, a distinguishing mark of 
 the Cynic and Stoic sects; one 
 of the wittiest productions of 
 Greek Satire, an apology for, 108 
 note. 
 
 Becker, W. A. (Charikles), referred 
 to, 8, 44, 122 notes. 
 
 Bellerophon, the Korinthian hero, 
 slays the monster Chimaera, 165 
 note. 
 
 Bendis, a Thracian divinity, his 
 admission to Heaven criticized by 
 Hermes, 177, and note. 
 
 Bentley, Richard, his Critique on 
 the Letters of Phalaris referred to, 
 203 note. 
 
 Bion (Idylls), on the death of 
 Adonis, referred to, 23, 28 notes. 
 
 Bion, of Priene, one of the “ Seven 
 Sages,” 142 note. 
 
 Blepsias, a usurer and miser, a 
 fellow-traveller of Diogenes to 
 Hades, 158. 
 
 Bockh (Public Economy ofAthens), 
 referred to, 251 note. 
 
 Boule, the Greek “ Senate,” noticed, 
 225, 235, and notes. 
 
 Boulutos, meaning of the term, 239 
 note. 
 
 Bouphonia, an old Athenian reli¬ 
 gious ceremony at their sacrificial 
 slaughter, explained, 166 note. 
 
 Branchidm, descendants of Bran- 
 chus, noticed, 4 note. 
 
 Branchus, a son (or favourite) of 
 Apollo, noticed by Zeus, 4, and 
 note. 
 
288 
 
 INDEX. 
 
 Briareus, the Giant, saves Zeus 
 from defeat and fetters (as quoted 
 by Ares from Homer), 50. 
 
 Brimo, a name of Hekate, 280 and 
 note. 
 
 Briseis, the slave-girl, cause of the 
 quarrel of Agamemnon and Achil- 
 leus, 164. 
 
 C. 
 
 Caligula, Caius, the Roman Caesar, 
 his Life by Suetonius quoted, 
 215; the vilest despot recorded 
 in History, 259 note. 
 
 Cannae (the field of) famous for the 
 vast number of gold rings cap¬ 
 tured by Hannibal, 115 note. 
 
 Capua, Alexander of Macedon (in 
 Hades) retorts upon Hannibal his 
 luxurious life at, 118. 
 
 Carthage, Scipio (in Hades) boasts 
 of having razed, 119. 
 
 Castellanus, on Hellenic Festivals, 
 referred to by Jensenius (a com¬ 
 mentator on Lucian), 166 note. 
 
 Cat, the, an object of Egyptian 
 worship, 201. 
 
 Catullus, Valerius, his poem De 
 Atyde referred to, 24 note ; his 
 Peleus et Thetis, 69 note; Ad 
 Manlium quoted, 137 note. 
 
 Celsus, Λίγος Άλ«θής, referred to, 92 
 note. 
 
 Chain, the Golden, and the threat 
 of Zeus, ridiculed by Ares, 40-50. 
 
 Chaldasans, the, diviners by dreams, 
 
 113. 
 
 Chares, the sculptor of the Kolossus 
 of Rhodes, 178 note. 
 
 Charities, the father of Polias, 
 noticed, 277. 
 
 Charikles (of Becker), the, referred 
 to, 8, 44, 122 notes. 
 
 Charinus, a legacy-hunter, 95. 
 
 Charis, a wife of Hephsestus, her 
 possession by that God excites 
 the envy of Hermes and Apollo, 
 29-30. 
 
 Charites (Gratias), unite with the 
 Horce (Hours) in adorning Pan. 
 dora, 21 note. 
 
 Charmides, a principal companion 
 
 of Sokrates in Hades, 144, and 
 note. 
 
 Charmolaus, a handsome youth, one 
 of the passengers in Charon’s 
 boat, 106. 
 
 Charceades, a legacy-hunter, his 
 expected descent to Hades, 99. 
 
 Charon, the ferryman of the Styx, 
 requested by Hermes to pay up 
 his arrears of debt to him, 93-95; 
 desires Hermes to strip the rich 
 and powerful of their various 
 weighty encumbrances, 105 ; de¬ 
 mands of Menippus his accus¬ 
 tomed fee, 146-148; a principal 
 dramatis persona in the Ferry-Boat, 
 237-261; Menippus and Slithro- 
 barzanes embark in his boat, 263; 
 represented in Art with the pilus, 
 270 note; receives Menippus on 
 board, 272. 
 
 Charops, the husband of Aglaia and 
 father of Nireus, 153; ofLEgina, 
 a man of infamous debauchery, 
 adduced by Cyniskus as an in¬ 
 stance of successful wickedness, 
 222 . 
 
 Cheiron, one of the Kentaurs, tutor 
 of Achilleus, 128, and note; im¬ 
 parts to Menippus his reasons for 
 preferring Hades to Heaven and 
 immortality, 154-155. 
 
 Cheirotonia, voting by show of 
 hands, 236 note. 
 
 Cheniskus, name for the figure-head 
 of a Greek ship, 205, and note. 
 
 Chilon, one of the “ Seven Sages,” 
 author of the proverb, “ Know 
 thyself,” 91 note , 142. 
 
 Chimaera, the, a monster of Tar¬ 
 tarus, to whom Minos delivers the 
 wicked for torture, 164, and note; 
 seen by Menippus in Tartarus, 
 274. 
 
 Chinese Empire, its outskirts known 
 slightly to the Roman world of 
 the second century, 255 note. 
 
 Chlamys , originally a Macedoniau 
 dress, worn by Athenians, 125 
 and note. 
 
 Choaspes, a tributary of the river 
 Tigris, 269, and note. 
 
 Christian Fathers, the, refer Hel¬ 
 lenic theology and mythology to 
 
INDEX. 
 
 289 
 
 the Jewish Sacred Scriptures, 58 
 note; the Oracles to diabolic in¬ 
 spiration, 233 note. 
 
 Chryseis, daughter ofChryses, cause 
 of the feud between Asramemnon 
 and Achilleus, 164 note. 
 
 Chrysippus, second founder of the 
 School of the Porch, the absurd 
 Syllogisms of his School ridiculed 
 by Diogenes in Hades, 88, and 
 note. 
 
 Chrysostom, St., a Christian Father 
 of the fourth century, his expla¬ 
 nation of the Hellenic myth of 
 Phaethon and the chariot of 
 Helios, 58 note ; on the tomb of 
 Zeus in Krete, 230 note. 
 
 Cicero, M. Tullius, his refusal to 
 listen to Homer on the rape of 
 Ganymedes, 6 note; on the statues 
 of the Gods, 44 note; on the Sa¬ 
 tires of Menippus, 86 note; on 
 the death of Kodrus, 105 note; 
 on the Summum Bonum , 122 
 note; on the death of Sokrates, 
 145 note ; references to, 186, 187, 
 207, 218, 223, 249. 
 
 Clemens, Titus Flavius, of Alexan¬ 
 dria, on the island of Mykonus, 
 89 note; on Sacrifice, 215 note; 
 his statement of the vegetarian 
 diet of St. Matthew quoted, 269 
 note. 
 
 Corpseland, a member of that bo¬ 
 rough proposes the solemn decree 
 of the Dead, 280. 
 
 Cow, the, a famous statue by 
 Myron, of; thirty-six epigrams 
 in the Anthologia celebrate her 
 praise, 176 note; an object of 
 divine worship with the Egyp¬ 
 tians, 201, 232. 
 
 Curtius Rufus (Roman biographer 
 of Alexander of Macedon), his 
 explanation of the story of Lysi- 
 machus and the lion, 126 note. 
 
 Cybele (or Rhea), the tricks of 
 Eros upon, 24, and note; 232 
 note. 
 
 Cyklops, see Polyphemus. 
 
 Cynic, derivation of the name, 
 Menippus and Diogenes famous 
 followers of that sect, 86-87 note; 
 Cvniskus (in the Convicted Zeus), 
 
 a distinguished member of the 
 sect, 209-224. 
 
 Cyniskus, a Cynic, convicts Zeus of 
 imposture, 209-224; a dramatis 
 persona of the Fern/ Boat, 237, 
 241, 244, 249, 250^ 253, 256- 
 261. 
 
 Cyrus, the Persian king, in Hades, 
 140; noticed by the philosopher 
 Damis, 202. 
 
 D. 
 
 Dagger, the, an object of worship 
 with the Scythians, 201, and note. 
 
 Damasias, an athlete in Charon’s 
 boat, 107 and note. 
 
 Damis, a millionaire, a fellow- 
 traveller with Diogenes to Hades, 
 158; an Epikurean philosopher 
 antagonist of Timokles (repre¬ 
 senting the Stoic Sect), 168-170; 
 his controversial combat with 
 Timokles described at length, 
 196-208. 
 
 Damnippus, a millionaire, a dramatis 
 persona in Hades, 101-102. 
 
 Damon, a legacy-hunter, referred 
 to, 95. 
 
 Damoxenus, a pugilist, the message 
 of Diogenes in Hades to, 89, and 
 note. 
 
 Danae, one of the earthly mistresses 
 of Zeus, commemorated in the 
 Anthologia, 3 note ; Hermes de¬ 
 spatched to, 55 ; the story of her 
 exposure related by Thetis, 77- 
 78; referred to, 80, 266. 
 
 Danaus, King of Argos, and father 
 of the Danaides, his treatment of 
 his daughters, 69; referred to, 
 114. 
 
 Dante Alighieri, the Lucianic Dia¬ 
 logue Nekyomanteia, a sort of pro¬ 
 totype of the Inferno of, 86 note ; 
 indebted to the Bhcedon of Plato, 
 139 note; his Inferno quoted, 261, 
 274, 275 notes. 
 
 Daphne, the river-nymph, her 
 flight from Apollo instanced by 
 Eros, 4; Apollo taunted by 
 Hermes with his pursuit of, 27 ; 
 her story related differently by 
 
290 
 
 INDEX. 
 
 Pausanias, 27 note; Apollo alludes 
 to his love for her, 20; Hera 
 sneers at the failure of Apollo's 
 prescience to inform him as to 
 the result of his love for, 31; 
 Teiresias instances to Menippus 
 the undoubted miracle of her 
 transformation, 162. 
 
 Daphnis and Chloe, the pastoral 
 romance of Longus, noticed, 242 
 note. 
 
 Dareius, king of Persia, the Mace¬ 
 donian victories over him depre¬ 
 ciated by Hannibal in Hades, 
 116; Alexander (on the same 
 occasion) boasts of his conquest of, 
 118; Zeus quotes a saying of, 
 208, and note ; his occupation in 
 Hades, 278. 
 
 Deadborough, the wardship of, 
 named in the Decree of the Dead, 
 280. 
 
 Decuma, the name of one of the 
 Latin Parcce, 214 note. 
 
 Deinias, a patron of parasites, men¬ 
 tioned, 100. 
 
 Delos (the island of) made stationary 
 by Poseidon at the command of 
 Zeus, for the convenience of Leto, 
 75-76. 
 
 Delphi, its oracle-shop ridiculed by 
 Hera, 31 ; famous inscription on 
 its temple, 91; preferred by 
 Apollo as most convenient for 
 the display of his prophetic fa¬ 
 culty, 191. 
 
 Delphic Oracle, the, pronounces 
 Sokrates to be the wisest man, 
 144 note; ridiculed by Damis, 
 202 ; by Cyniskus, 211, 220. 
 
 Delphines (Dolphins), the, at 
 Poseidon’s request, relate the 
 story of Arion, 72-73. 
 
 Demeter (Ceres), her love for Iasion, 
 sarcastic allusion of Momus to, 
 231, and note. 
 
 Demoi, Attic equivalent to the 
 English “ hundreds,” 236 note. 
 
 Demokritus (of Abdera), “the 
 laughing philosopher,” a pre¬ 
 decessor of Menippus in satire, 
 86 note ; his influence on Pyrrho, 
 144 note. 
 
 Demonax, a Stoic philosopher (a 
 
 friend of Lucian), his life written 
 by Lucian, 164 note. 
 
 Demons, avenging (attendants of 
 Minos in Hades), the, seen by 
 Menippus, 272. 
 
 Demosthenes, the orator, his stigma 
 on Philip ofMacedon as “a public 
 robber,” 117 note ; his speeches 
 referred to, 125 note ; an exordium 
 of his borrowed by Zeus, 169,181; 
 quoted by Zeus, 187 ; a pupil of 
 Satyrus, the comic actor, 200 
 note; the enmity of Meidias 
 towards him, 205 note. 
 
 Destiny (b Είμ,αρμ,ενη), represented 
 by the Cynic philosopher as supe¬ 
 rior to the king of Gods, 211, 213, 
 and note; 219, 221, 223, 224; 
 her deification criticized by Mo¬ 
 mus, 226, 234. 
 
 Dia, the wife of Ixion, and mother 
 of Peirithous, 13 note. 
 
 Diabolism, Christian, borrows some 
 of its physical characteristics of 
 the Devil from the Greek divinity 
 Pan, 50 note, 233 note. 
 
 Diana, and her dogs, Apuleius de¬ 
 scribes a piece of sculpture repre¬ 
 senting, 32 note. 
 
 Didymn, a town of Lydia, Hera 
 ridicules Apollo’s oracle at, 31. 
 
 Dii Majores (of the Latin Theo¬ 
 logy), the twelve principal 
 Deities, referred to, 121, and note ; 
 enumerated, 189 note. 
 
 Dike, one of the Hours, 21 note. 
 
 Dikte (the cave of), in the island of 
 Krete, the scene of the nuptials of 
 Zeus and Europa, 85. 
 
 Dimocrites, a Greek naval officer, 
 205, and note. 
 
 Diodorus (of Sicily, Greek his¬ 
 torian of the first century, a.d.), 
 his Historical Library referred to, 
 5, 22, 27 notes. 
 
 Diogenes (of Laerte), on the syllo¬ 
 gisms of the schools of Zeno and 
 of Chrysippus, 88 note ; referred 
 to, 91,‘ill, 112, 141, 142, 191, 
 
 290 notes. 
 
 Diogenes (of Sinope), represented 
 by Plutarch as swallowing an 
 octopus, 67 note ; in Hades sends 
 messages to various classes of men 
 
INDEX. 
 
 291 
 
 by Polydeukes, 86-89 ; converses 
 in Hades, with a fellow-disciple of 
 Antistbenes, on the strange fate of 
 two millionaires, 112-114; jeers 
 at Alexander of Macedon for his 
 pretensions to divinity, and sati¬ 
 rizes his vain-glory, 120-123; 
 affects astonishment at seeing 
 Herakles in Hades, and inter¬ 
 rogates that hero on his double 
 existence, 130-133; complimented 
 by Kerberus on his almost unique 
 indifference to death, and the 
 mode of it chosen by him, 146, 
 and note; ridicules Mausolus, a 
 Persian viceroy, on the vain-glory 
 of his conquests, and especially 
 on that of his splendid tomb, 
 150-152; his indifference as to 
 the manner of his burial, 152, 
 and note; entertains himself and 
 fellow Cynics by comparing 
 notes as to their experiences on 
 the road to the infernal regions, 
 and interrogates a poor man as to 
 the cause of his weeping, 155- 
 159; still pursues his favourite 
 occupation in Hades, 264 ; forces 
 «certain former tyrants to contem¬ 
 plate change of quarters in Hades, 
 279. 
 
 Diomedes (Tydides), his capital 
 Argos, 70, note ; in Hades, 140 ; 
 his wounding Ares ridiculed by 
 the Epicurean philosopher, 199. 
 
 Dion (son-in-law of Dionysius, 
 tyrant of Syrakuse) accuses the 
 younger Dionysius to Minos, 274. 
 
 Dion (Chrysostom), famous Greek 
 rhetorician, records the feats of 
 memory of Alexander of Mace¬ 
 don, 117. 
 
 Dionysiac mysteries, the, established 
 licence at, 203, and note. 
 
 Dionysii, the Tyrants of Syra¬ 
 cuse, courted by Plato, 143, and 
 note. 
 
 Dionysius, the Younger, respited by 
 Minos on the intercession of Aris¬ 
 tippus, 274. 
 
 Dionysus (Bacchus), the manner of 
 his birth related by Hermes, 19- 
 20; his character denounced by 
 Hera and defended by Zeus, 35- 
 
 36; discourses with Apollo on 
 Aphrodite’s children and on the 
 character of Priapus, 52-54; 
 Alexander of Macedon boasts his 
 rivalry with, 127; origin of the 
 name of, 127 note ; sarcastic allu¬ 
 sion of Momus to, 247. 
 
 Diophantus, an orator, mentioned, 
 
 111 . 
 
 Dioskuri (Kastor and Polydeukes), 
 their identity of appearance and 
 divine pretensions ridiculed by 
 Apollo, 58-59. 
 
 Dipoiia , a festival of Zeus, remark¬ 
 able religious ceremony following 
 upon the priest’ssacrificial slaugh¬ 
 ter of the cow or ox at the, 166 
 note. 
 
 Dipsodes (Drunkards), the, en¬ 
 gage in battle with the Amau- 
 rotes, 262 note. 
 
 Dis (Dives), a synonym of Pluto, 
 used by Milton, 144 note. 
 
 Diskobolos (“the Quoit-Thrower”), 
 a celebrated work of the sculptor 
 Myron, 176 note. 
 
 Divine Legation , the , an ingenious 
 interpretation of the metamor¬ 
 phoses of the Golden Ass given by 
 Warburton in, 277 note. 
 
 Doris, a Nereid, taunts a sister- 
 Nereid, Galateia, with the defor¬ 
 mities of her lover, Polyphemus, 
 61-63 ; informed by Thetis of the 
 exposure of Danae and the in¬ 
 fant Perseus, 77-78. 
 
 Doryphoros (“the spear-bearer”), 
 a celebrated work of the Greek 
 sculptor Polykleitus, 176 note. 
 
 Dove, the, said to have been an 
 object of Assyrian divine worship, 
 201, and note. 
 
 Drachme, the, a Greek silver coin, 
 mentioned, 94, and note. 
 
 Dry den, John, borrows the subject 
 of one of his comedies from Plau¬ 
 tus, 24 note. 
 
 Dryskull, mover of the resolution 
 adopted by a Convention of the 
 dead respecting the plutocrats, 
 280. 
 
 Du Soul (Solanus), a commentator 
 on Lucian, referred to, 164, 243 
 notes. 
 
292 
 
 INDEX. 
 
 E. 
 
 Echo, a nymph loved by Pan, 52, 
 and note; refuses to return the 
 bellowings of Polyphemus, 63. 
 
 Eileithuia, the divinity who comes 
 to assist women in childbirth, 
 allusion by Hephaestus to, 17, and 
 note; her office transferred to 
 Artemis, 32 note. 
 
 Eirene, one of the Hone, 21 note. 
 
 Eironeia(“ affected ignorance ”),the 
 special characteristic of the So- 
 kratic Dialogue, 144, and note. 
 
 Eimarmene (“ Destiny ”), its signi¬ 
 fication noticed by Wieland, 213 
 note. 
 
 Ekbatana, the capital of Media, 
 scene of the death of Hephaestion 
 a favourite of Alexander of 
 Macedon, 12 6 note. 
 
 Ekklesia (at Athens), the name given 
 to the Popular Assembly, 179 
 note ; the usual translation of the 
 title of Lucian’s Dialogue Θεών 
 ’Εκκλϊΐίπ'α inaccurate, 225 note. 
 
 Ekklesiastes, its Lucianic tone in re¬ 
 gard to Hades referred to, 129 note. 
 
 ''Ελκε^ν, a play on the word by 
 Klotlio, 246, and note. 
 
 Elektra, daughter of Atlas and 
 mother of Iasion, 231 note. 
 
 Elenchos, a term used in the Logic 
 of the Stoics, 191, and note. 
 
 Elenchomenos (Zeus), the title of a 
 Dialogue of Lucian, Wieland’s 
 remark on, 209 note. 
 
 Eleusinian Mysteries (celebrated in 
 honour of Demeter and Perse¬ 
 phone at Eleusis), alluded to by 
 Mikyllus, 256. 
 
 Eleusis, the famous township of 
 Attica, allusion by Krates to, 156. 
 
 Eleutheria, a village at the foot of 
 Mount Kithairon, 156. 
 
 Eleven, the. Officers of the Athenian 
 Areiopagus, an allusion by Cy- 
 niskus to, 222, and note. 
 
 Elias (or Elijah), a Jewish pro¬ 
 phet, his fire-chariot asserted by 
 St. Chrysostom to be the original 
 ofthe chariot ofPhaethon,58 note. 
 
 Elysian Fields, the, Minos dis¬ 
 misses the good to, 165; de¬ 
 scriptions in the poets of, 165 
 
 note; their delights not valued 
 by the Cynic, 222, and note. 
 
 Elysium, Lucian’s representation in 
 his True Historii of, 119 note. 
 
 Empedokles, the distinguished 
 Greek philosopher and statesman, 
 insulted by Menippus in Hades, 
 142; possible origin of the fable 
 of 2Etna and the slippers or san¬ 
 dals of, high estimate and eulogy 
 by Lucretius of, 142 note. 
 
 Empusa, a hobgoblin of the Greek 
 nursery, 37 note. 
 
 Enagismata , purificatory funeral 
 ceremonies in the Greek ritual, 
 mentioned by Charon, 240, and 
 note. 
 
 Endymion (a handsome Latmian 
 youth), Selene charged by Aphro¬ 
 dite with her love lor, 22-24. 
 
 Enipeus, a Thessalian river-god, 
 reproaches Poseidon for his seduc¬ 
 tion ofthe nymph Tyro, 78-79. 
 
 Entaphia, Greek funeral furniture, 
 allusion by Hermes to, 107, and 
 note. 
 
 Eos (Aurora), her love and inter¬ 
 cession for Tithonus, noticed, 100 
 note. 
 
 Epigoni (the name given to the 
 descendants of the Seven against 
 Thebes) referred to, 92 note. 
 
 Epikurus, his abstinent living 
 noticed, 112 note; relieved by 
 Momus of the charge of doing 
 mischief by denial of a divine 
 Providence, 184; allusion by 
 Momus to, 186. 
 
 Epikurism, the arguments of, 168- 
 207. 
 
 Ephebos, the name given to the 
 Athenian youth at the age of 18, 
 125 note. 
 
 Ephialtes, the incubus or night-mare 
 ofthe Greek mythology, 37 note. 
 
 Epistemon (a companion of Pan- 
 tagruel on his voyage), his tem¬ 
 porary sojourn in Hades, 262 note. 
 
 Erasmus, Desiderius, his interpre¬ 
 tation of ττίΐχϋν, 24 note ; references 
 to his Adagia, 89, 98, 100 notes. 
 
 Erectheus, mythic king of Athens, 
 277. 
 
 Eridanus (the modern Pado), the 
 
INDEX. 
 
 293 
 
 burial-place of Phaethon, 58, and 
 note. 
 
 Erigone, daughter of Ikarius, her 
 adventures with her dog Maera, 
 referred to, 63 note ; her trans¬ 
 lation to heaven ridiculed by 
 Momus, 229. 
 
 Eris ( Discordia), Goddess of Dis¬ 
 cord, her introduction of the 
 golden apple into the nuptial 
 feast of Thetis and Peleus re¬ 
 lated by the Nereid Panope, 68. 
 
 Eros (Cupido), threatened with im¬ 
 prisonment by Zeus, 3-4; pro¬ 
 mised to Ganymede as a com¬ 
 panion by Zeus, 8; his bride 
 Psyche admitted to heaven, 9 
 note ; challenged by Hermes to a 
 wrestling match, 16; his tricks 
 upon his mother Aphrodite re¬ 
 counted by that Goddess, 23; idyll 
 of Moschus on, 23 note ; up¬ 
 braided and cautioned by his 
 mother, 24-25 ; explains to her 
 why he spares certain divine 
 personages, 36-38 ; his assistance 
 promised to Paris by Aphrodite, 
 47; mentioned by Apollo, 52 ; 
 in a picture by Philostratus 
 releasing Andromeda from her 
 chains, 81 note ; the blame for the 
 war of Ilium attributed by Paris 
 to, 138 ; exculpated by Diogenes, 
 158. 
 
 Erotion ( Erotium ), a favourite name 
 for a courtesan, 248 note. 
 
 Erinyes, (“The Angry Ones”), the 
 uneuphemistic name for the Eu- 
 menides, 130, 256, and note. 
 
 Esoteric teaching, Alexander finds 
 fault with Aristotle for publish¬ 
 ing to the world, 123 note. 
 
 Eukleides, an Athenian archon, 
 mentioned, 243. 
 
 Euklio, the hero of the Aulularia of 
 Plautus, 252 note. 
 
 Eukrates, a plutocrat, mentioned, 95. 
 
 Eumenes, a lieutenant of the Mace¬ 
 donian Perdikkas, 157 note. 
 
 Eumenides (Furiae), an instance 
 of Greek euphemism, 49 note, 
 139 note , 256 note. 
 
 Eunomia, a name of one of the 
 Horce , 21 note. 
 
 Eunomius, the unexpecting heir of 
 a millionaire, 113. 
 
 Euonymus, an instance of Greek 
 euphemism, 49 note. 
 
 Euphemism, much cultivated by the 
 Greeks, 49 note. 
 
 Euphorbus (aTrojan hero), Pytha¬ 
 goras said to have asserted himself 
 to have been, 141, and note. 
 
 Euphranor (of Korinth), an eminent 
 sculptor, author of the “ Paris,” 
 176 note. 
 
 Euphrates, the river, alluded to, 
 263, 269, 271. 
 
 Euphrone, an instance of Greek 
 euphemism, 49 note. 
 
 Euripides, quoted or referred to, 
 20, 31, 35, 48, 53, 63, 80, 81, 84, 
 97, 98, 133, 138, 139, 154, 161, 
 171, 173, 183, 200, 201, 203, 220, 
 249, 256, 264, 265. 
 
 Europe (Europa), the daughter of 
 Agenor, king of Sidon, beloved 
 by Zeus, and recorded in Greek 
 Anthology, 3 note; Hermes de¬ 
 spatched by Zeus to, 55; Zephy- 
 rus narrates the rape of, 83-85; 
 recorded by the poet Propertius, 
 135 note. 
 
 Eurotas, the Lakonian river, Diana 
 on the banks of, 38 note ; receives 
 the Alpheius, 65 note. 
 
 Eurydike, the wife of Orpheus, 
 “half-regained” by him from 
 Hades, 270 note. 
 
 Eurystheus(a king of Mykenae), the 
 taskmaster of Herakles, eulogized 
 by Momus, 186; instanced by the 
 Olympian Censor, 231. 
 
 Eusebius (ecclesiastical historian), 
 recounts a number of instances of 
 diabolic deceptions, 233 note. 
 
 Eustathius, the Greek commentator 
 on Homer, his explanation of 
 βουλυτος, 239 note ; his explanation 
 of the Homeric comparison of 
 ghosts to bats, 272 note. 
 
 Euxein'os ( u the Hospitable Sea ”), 
 instance of Greek euphemism, 
 49 note. 
 
 Exposing infants (among the 
 Greeks and Latins), prevalency 
 of the practice of, 242 note. 
 
294 
 
 INDEX. 
 
 F. 
 
 Faerie Queen, the (of Spenser), 
 beauty of the heroine Una how 
 eulogized, 62 note ; the names of 
 the fifty Nereids enumerated in, 
 80 note. 
 
 Fate and Fates ( Moirai ), their 
 supreme power asserted by the 
 Cynic philosopher Cymskus, 
 210-224; their usurpation of the 
 credit of the Olympian divinities 
 lamented by Momus, 234. 
 
 Fielding, Henry, his comedy of the 
 Miser referred to, 252 note. 
 
 Fire, the object of the worship of 
 the Persians, allusion by the phi¬ 
 losopher Damis to, 201. 
 
 Fontenelle, Bernard le Bovier de, 
 Hist, des Oracles referred to, 31 
 note; most famous modern imi¬ 
 tator of Lucian’s Dialogues of the 
 Dead, 120 note; his dialogue, 
 Alexandre et Pfrrine, quoted, 127 
 note ; represents Alexander of 
 Macedon complaining of bis pre¬ 
 ference of Phryne, 255 note. 
 
 Francesco d’Assisi, St., the stigmata 
 of, 257 note. 
 
 Fritzsche, German editor of Lucian, 
 referred to, 145 note. 
 
 Furca, an instrument of slave-tor¬ 
 ture among the Romans, 273 note. 
 
 Furiae, the, Latin equivalent of the 
 Greek Erinyes, 139 note. 
 
 G. 
 
 Gadara, a town in Coele-Syria, the 
 birthplace of Menippus, 86 note. 
 
 Gades (the modern Cadiz),reference 
 of Alexander of Macedon to, 
 119. 
 
 Galateia, a Nereid, her lover Poly¬ 
 phemus ridiculed by the nymph 
 Doris, 61-63. 
 
 Galene (a Nereid), the Nereid 
 Panope relates the introduction of 
 the Golden Apple by Eris into 
 the wedding-feast of Thetis and 
 Peleus to, 68-69. 
 
 Gamos, the special significance of 
 the word, 82 note. 
 
 Ganymedes (a handsome Ilian 
 prince) instructed by Zeus in the 
 
 nature of his duties in heaven, 5- 
 9; Hera upbraids Zeus for his 
 love for, 9-12; Hera hands the 
 wine-cup to, 13; related to Paris, 
 39; Hermes recounts his commis¬ 
 sion from Zeus to, 41; his exalta¬ 
 tion to heaven noticed by Hermes, 
 55, and note ; the scandal of his 
 relations with Zeus passed over 
 by Momus, 226, 231 and note , 
 232. 
 
 Gargantua and Pantagruel, of Rabe¬ 
 lais, quoted, 262 note, 278 note. 
 
 Gargarus, Mt. (one of the summits 
 of Ida, in the Troad), the scene of 
 the Judgment of Paris, 38 and 
 note , 40. 
 
 Gastrolatry, Greek, the Deipnoso- 
 phists, a repertory of, 67 note. 
 
 Gaugamela, a small town in the 
 province of Adiabene (Baghdad 
 pachalik), the actual scene of the 
 great battle commonly called that 
 of Arbela, 116 note. 
 
 Ge, or Gaea, the personified Earth- 
 Deity, mother of Iapetus, 3 note. 
 
 Gela (a Greek city of Sicily) the 
 parent of Agrigentum, 106 note. 
 
 Gerrhon, a kind of shield used chiefly 
 in the Persian army, 124 note. 
 
 Gellius, Aulus ( Nodes Attica), a 
 Latin compiler of the second 
 century a.d., relates the story of 
 Apollo and Marsyas with entire 
 faith, 32 note; referred to, 213, 
 214. and notes. 
 
 Genesis (the book of), Le Clerc ap¬ 
 peals to the authority of, 69 note. 
 
 Geraestus (a port in the island of 
 Euboea), sarcastic allusion of 
 Momus to the loss of Poseidon 
 at, 188, and note. 
 
 Gesner, Johann Matthias, a com¬ 
 mentator on Lucian, his proposed 
 transposition of a passage in the 
 Dialogues if the Dead, 115 note; 
 his proposed reading of a proper 
 name in Zeus the Tragedian , 201 
 note. 
 
 Gerusalernme Liberata, La, of l asso, 
 referred to, 44 note. 
 
 Glauke, the second wife of Iason, 
 Medeia’s fatal gift to, 84 note. 
 
 Glaukopis, the Homeric epithet of 
 
INDEX. 
 
 295 
 
 Athena, 18, and note, 44, and 
 note. 
 
 Gly cerium, the heroine of the And via 
 of Terence, referred to, 20 note; 
 the mistress of the tyrant Mega- 
 penthes, 248 ; a favourite name 
 for a Greek courtesan, 248 note. 
 
 Gnothi Seauton (“ Know Thyself”), 
 the famous Greek apophthegm, 
 attributed to various Greek cele¬ 
 brities, 91, and note. 
 
 Gnyphon, or Gniphon, a usurer and 
 miser, instanced by Mikyllus, 
 252, and note. 
 
 Gobares, one of the passengers on 
 Charon’s Ferry Boat supplied 
 from a battle, 243. 
 
 Golden Apple (of Eris), the, com¬ 
 mitted by Zeus through Hermes 
 to the care of Paris; competi¬ 
 tion of the three Goddesses for, 
 its assignment to Aphrodite, 38, 
 42-48; its first appearance de¬ 
 scribed by the nymph Panope, 
 68 . 
 
 Golden Fleece, the, dragon of, re¬ 
 ferred to, 81 note. 
 
 Golden Chain (of Zeus), the, Ares 
 ridicules, with Hermes, the threat 
 of Zeus respecting 49-50 and 
 note; the cynic Cyniskus quotes 
 to Zeus the Homeric account of, 
 210, 214-215. 
 
 Goldsmith, Oliver, his satire on 
 panics caused by “mad-dogs ” in 
 the Citizen of the World , 134 note. 
 
 Gorgo, a bugbear of the Greek 
 nursery, the infant Hermes so 
 termed by Hephaestus 16 ; noticed 
 by Strabo, 37 note. 
 
 Gorgons (sea-monsters, daughters 
 of Phorkys and Keto), the, allu¬ 
 sion by Aphrodite to, 37; the 
 hero Perseus sent by Polydektes 
 against, 81. 
 
 Gbthe, Johann Wolfgang von, his 
 Iphigeneia in Tauris referred to, 31, 
 53 notes. 
 
 Graces, the, see Charites. 
 
 Granikus (a river in N.W. Asia 
 Minor), the, scene of a great 
 battle between the Macedonians 
 and Persians, Alexander’s life 
 saved by Kleitus at, 116 note; the 
 
 victory boasted by Alexander 
 in Hades, 118. 
 
 Greek Romances, the, prevalence 
 of kidnapping by Greek pirates 
 a constant theme of, 70 note; 
 violations of tombs frequently 
 noticed in, 207 note. 
 
 H. 
 
 Hades (or Pluto), the ruling power 
 of the Infernal Regions, reference 
 by Euripides to, 264 note. 
 
 Hades (the Infernal Regions), 
 Apollo declares the infant Hermes, 
 to gratify his kleptomunia, ready 
 to descend to, 16; Hermes com¬ 
 plains of his duties in, 55 and 
 note; interview of Odysseus with 
 Tyro in, 79 note ; Diogenes com¬ 
 missions Polydeukes to announce 
 on Earth the entire equality 
 in, 86-89; no need of military 
 weapons or trophies in, 108; 
 Alexander playing the fool in, 
 122; Menippus descends to, 263- 
 266, 270, 271-281. 
 
 Hadrian (the Roman emperor), his 
 extraordinary affection for Anti- 
 nous, 7, 11 notes; the “deified 
 Ganymede” of, 281 note. 
 
 Halikarnassus (a city of S.W. Asia 
 Minor), the splendid tomb of 
 Mausolus at, 150, and note ; 150- 
 152. 
 
 Halys, the river (flowing through 
 central Asia Minor), the famous 
 oracle relating to, 115, 202, 220. 
 
 Hannibal, the Carthaginian general, 
 his dialogue with Alexander of 
 Macedon on the question of pre¬ 
 cedence, 114-119. 
 
 Harmonia, the wife of Kadmus and 
 mother of Ino, 74 note. 
 
 Hebe, the divinity of youth, sup¬ 
 planted by Ganymedes as cup¬ 
 bearer in heaven, 10, 11; renews 
 the youth of lolaus, 96 note; 
 given to Herakles in heaven, 131, 
 and note. 
 
 Hekate, the divinity of the infernal 
 world, patroness of witches and 
 spectres, her “ supper,” 87, and 
 note , 147; invoked, 263, 271, 280 
 note. 
 
296 
 
 INDEX. 
 
 Hekatomb, its etymological number 
 of victims often exceeded, 215, 
 and note. 
 
 Helene, the daughter of Priam, 
 offered by Aphrodite to Paris, 
 46-48 ; sister of the Dioscuri, 59 
 note; under the protection of 
 Proteus, 66 note ; in Hades, 136, 
 and note. 
 
 Heliades, the, sisters of Phaethon, 
 58 note ; the title of a lost drama 
 of .Sschylus. 58 note. 
 
 Heliodorus ( sEthiopica or Thea- 
 genes and Churikleia), referred to, 
 70 note , 88 note, 192 note. 
 
 Helios (the Sun-God), the commands 
 of Zeus, to refrain from driving 
 his chariot, conveyed by Hermes 
 to, 21-22; stops his chariot to 
 visit Klymene, 24; informs He¬ 
 phaestus of the amour of Aphrodite 
 and Ares, 33; arraigned by Zeus 
 for giving over his chariot to his 
 son, 56-58. 
 
 Hellespontus, the straits of that 
 name, why so called, 74. 
 
 Helle, the sister of Phrixus, the 
 place for her sepulture disputed 
 by Poseidon and Amphitrite, 74- 
 75. 
 
 Hemerodromus , the Greek courier, 
 54 and note. 
 
 Hemsterhuis, Tiberius, the principal 
 editor of Lucian, quoted or re¬ 
 ferred to, 7, 11, 24, 34, 55, 75, 79, 
 98. 101, 115, 117, 120, 132, 151, 
 156. 
 
 Hephaestus (Vulcanus), Hera sar¬ 
 castically suggests that he is cast 
 off" in favour of Ganymedes, 10, 
 11; reports to Apollo the actions 
 of the young Hermes, 15-16; 
 assists at the birth of Athena, 17- 
 18; envied by Apollo and 
 Hermes the possession of his beau¬ 
 tiful wives, 29-30; his revenge on 
 Ares and Aphrodite related by 
 Hermes, 33-34; the artificer of 
 the golden boat of Helios, 56 note; 
 burns up the river Xanthus, 76- 
 77; his deformities and occu¬ 
 pation criticized bv Cyniskus, 
 217. 
 
 Hephaestion (a special favourite of 
 
 Alexander of Macedon), Philip 
 reproaches his son with his ex¬ 
 cessive affection for, 126 and 
 note. 
 
 Hera (Juno), metamorphoses Io, 
 5 and note; upbraids Zeus with 
 his love for Ganymedes, 9-12; 
 complains to Zeus of the im¬ 
 portunities of Ixion, 12-14; lays 
 a trap for Semele, 20; incites 
 Herakles to murder his wife, 
 26 ; disputes with Leto about 
 their respective children, 30-32 ; 
 denounces Bacchus to Zeus, 34- 
 36; a competitor for the golden 
 apple, 38-45; conspires to put 
 Zeus in fetters, 50; her quarrel 
 with her two rivals narrated 
 by Panope, 48; her enmity to 
 Leto, 75; inflicts blindness on 
 Teiresias, 160; takes part in a 
 council of the Gods, reproaches 
 Zeus with his infidelities, and 
 taunts him witli his fears, 168- 
 174; incites Athamas to madness, 
 231 note; her temple-honours to be 
 restored, 236. 
 
 Herakles (Hercules), quarrels with 
 Asklepius in heaven, 25-27; his 
 easy life in heaven, 55; sends 
 Iolaus to Sardinia, 96 note; 
 rivalled by Alexander of Mace¬ 
 don, 127 ; accidentally slays the 
 Kentaur Cheiron, 128 note ; in 
 Hades, 129; ironically inter¬ 
 rogated in Hades by Diogenes, 
 130-133 ; in the general Council 
 of the Gods counsels vigorous 
 measures, 169,193-194; excepted 
 from the criticism of Momus by 
 express wish of Zeus, 230; his 
 posthumous fate compared with 
 that of his master Lurystheus by 
 Momus, 231; drags Kerberus from 
 Orcus, 242 note ; his lion’s skin 
 adopted by Menippus, 263, 270, 
 272. 
 
 Heramithra, a Tartar prince, 255. 
 
 Hennas, busts of Hermes, 202 and 
 note. 
 
 Hermagoras, a statuarv, 170, 194, 
 195. 
 
 Hermaphrodite, Zeus conjectured 
 by Poseidon to be an, 19 and note. 
 
INDEX. 
 
 297 
 
 Hermaphroditus (son of Aphrodite 
 and Hermes), the mythical ori¬ 
 ginal of the foregoing, 19 note , 30, 
 52, 53. 
 
 Hermes (Mercurius), sent by Zeus 
 to deliver lo, 4-5; Ganymedes 
 entrusted to the care of, 9; ex¬ 
 plains to Poseidon the critical 
 condition of Zeus, 18-20; conveys 
 to Helios the orders of Zeus, 21- 
 22; reports to Apollo the capture 
 of Aphrodite and Ares, 33-34; 
 chaperons the three goddesses to 
 Ida, 38-43; cautions Ares against 
 too free speech in regard to those 
 in “high places,” 49-50; com¬ 
 plains to his mother of the mul 
 tiplicity of his employments, 54- 
 56 ; points out to Apollo the two 
 Dioscuri, 58-59; reads the in¬ 
 scription on the golden apple, 
 68; the guardian of Io, 71-72; 
 his quarrel with Charon, 93-95; 
 directed by Pluto to bring him 
 certain legacy-hunters, &c., 95- 
 96 ; strips a number of dead men 
 of their insignia of rank, power, 
 and wealth, 105-111; acts as 
 cicerone to Menippus in Hades, 
 135-136; metamorphoses Pro- 
 tesilaus, 150; urges on the dead, 
 156; carries off on his shoulders 
 a struggling potentate, 158 ; pro¬ 
 poses a Council of the Gods, ad¬ 
 vises Zeus to take Demosthenes 
 for his model, consoles Zeus upon 
 the defeat of their champion, 
 168-174; makes proclamation 
 upon the Homeric model, 175 ; 
 acts as master of the ceremonies, 
 176-180 ; recommends Demos¬ 
 thenes’ style to Zeus, 181; per¬ 
 forms his duties as herald, 184; 
 consoles Zeus upon the defeat of 
 their champion, 208; makes pro¬ 
 clamation again at a Convention of 
 the Olympian divinities, 227 ; 
 keeps Charon waiting, hands over 
 the way-bill to Klotbo, assists to 
 drag the reluctant dead people on 
 board Charon’s boat, conducts 
 them to Tisiphone and Rhada- 
 manthys, 237-261. 
 
 Hermolaus, a millionaire, 101 ; a 
 
 page of Alexander of Macedon, 
 116. 
 
 Hero, a, defined, 93. 
 
 Herodotus, of Halikarnassus, the 
 historian, quoted or referred to, 
 31, 35, 36, 72, 83, 85, 91,124,156, 
 170, 173, 175, 183, 185, 190, 191, 
 192, 193, 202, 208, 232, 242, 244, 
 257, 270, 276, 277 notes. 
 
 Hesiod ( Theogony and Works and 
 Days), quoted or referred to, 1,3, 
 6, 17, 21, 22, 37, 39, 47, 50, 52, 
 56, 80, 138, 165, 210, 212, 231, 
 240, 211, 256, 267, 270. 
 
 Hesychius, a Greek lexicographer, 
 referred to, 48, 177, 240 notes. 
 
 Hetaera, the, distinguished from 
 the Porne, 44 note. 
 
 Hiero, tyrant of Syrakuse, his mag¬ 
 nificent ship described in Atlie- 
 naeus, 109 note. 
 
 Hierosubs , temple-robber, frequent 
 mention in Greek literature of, 
 185 and note. 
 
 Hiketides (“Suppliants ”), of iEs- 
 chylus, referred to, 5 note. 
 
 Himeros (“ Desire ” personified), an 
 attendant of Aphrodite, 47 and 
 note , 48. 
 
 Hipparchia, the wife of Krates, the 
 Cynic, 112 note. 
 
 Hippokrates, the Greek physician, 
 recommends hellebore, 123 note. 
 
 Holbein, Hans, German painter of 
 the sixteenth century, his Todten- 
 tanz referred to, 254 note. 
 
 Homer, Hannibal asserts his igno¬ 
 rance of, 117 ; his authority dis¬ 
 regarded by Menippus, 152,153 ; 
 his authority cited by Aphrodite, 
 178 ; Zeus proposes to recite, 
 181 ; Timokles, the Stoic, appeals 
 to, 198; his theology ridiculed 
 by Damis, the Epikurean, 199- 
 200; quoted by Wieland, 209 
 note; ironical allusions by Cy- 
 niskus the Cynic to, 212-213; 
 inspires Menippus, 265; his 
 character of the Olympian deities 
 influences the youthful Cynic, 
 266; his characterization of the 
 Dead, 275. 
 
 Homeric Hymns (to Hermes), 37 
 note ; (to Helios), 56 note. 
 
298 
 
 INDEX. 
 
 Horatius Flaccus, referred to, 3, 35, 
 55, 59, 77, 95, 100, 103, 105, 
 111, 113, 123, 125,134, 141,142, 
 143, 185, 193, 239, 274. 
 
 Horae, the, their names according 
 to Hesiod, 21 note. 
 
 Horkos (the personified divinity 
 who punishes perjury), 247 and 
 note. 
 
 Horns, a syllogistic term in the 
 phraseology of the Stoics, sati¬ 
 rized by Diogenes, 88; illus¬ 
 trated, 88 note. 
 
 Hyakinthus, a handsome Spartan 
 prince, beloved by Apollo, 4; 
 Apollo recounts to Hermes the 
 manner of the death of, 27-28 ; in 
 Hades, 135. 
 
 Hydra, the hundred-headed dragon 
 or serpent, its existence objected 
 to Zeus by Momus, 186. 
 
 Hyginus, the Fabulist, referred to, 
 1, 32, 51, 74, 78, 80, 154, 231. 
 
 Hymenaeus, the Marriage-divinity, 
 an attendant of Aphrodite, 48. 
 
 Hypaspistce , the body-guard of Alex¬ 
 ander of Macedon, 112, and note. 
 
 Hypereides, an Athenian orator, 
 Counsel for the courtesan Phryne, 
 255 note. 
 
 Hyperion ( u the Sublime Divinity,” 
 father of Helios), 56 note. 
 
 Hypermnestra, one of the Danaides, 
 71 note. 
 
 Hypnos, the divinity of Slumber, 
 the visit of Hermes to, 22 ; takes 
 part in the Convention of the 
 Gods, 235. 
 
 1 . 
 
 Iamblichus, a neo-Platonist of the 
 third cent, a.d., 6 note; referred 
 to, 50. 
 
 lapetus, a Titan, 3, and note. 
 
 lapyx, name for W.N.W. wind, 
 113, and note. 
 
 Iasion,a hero, beloved by Demeter, 
 231, and note. 
 
 Ibis, the, an object of worship, 
 
 201 . 
 
 Ichor (the divine blood), flows from 
 Aphrodite’s wound, 185 and 
 note. 
 
 Ichthus, like the English “ Fish,” 
 used unscientifically, 73 and 
 note. 
 
 Ida, Mt., the scene of the rape of 
 Ganymedes, 6, 7, 9, 10; fre¬ 
 quented by Cybele and her Kory- 
 bantic priests, 24 ; the scene of 
 the Judgment of Paris, 38-43. 
 
 Idomeneus, one of the Achaean 
 princes at Ilium, in Hades, 140. 
 
 Ideas, a metaphysical term in the 
 Platonic philosophy, contemptu¬ 
 ously noticed by Menippus, 268. 
 
 lkarius, introduces wine-drinking 
 into Attica, his fate instanced by 
 Hera, 36 and note ; the father of 
 Penelope, 51. 
 
 Iliad (of Homer), the, quoted, or 
 referred to, 6, 17, 29, 43, 44, 47, 
 48, 49, 70, 76, 80, 84, 104, 105, 
 112, 136, 138, 149, 152,153,164, 
 171, 181, 184, 185, 196,199, 204, 
 212, 213, 215, 223, 230, 239, 256, 
 271 notes. 
 
 Ilium (Troja), Odysseus on his re¬ 
 turn from, 63. 
 
 u Immortals,” the, a division of the 
 Persian army, 122 note. 
 
 lnachus, the first king of Argos, 
 father of Io, 4. 
 
 “ Incorporealities,” a philosophic 
 term, 255. 
 
 Indians, the, expedition of Dionysus 
 against, 35. 
 
 Indopatres, a bellicose Tartar 
 prince, on the point of crossing 
 the Styx, 255. 
 
 Ino, wife of Athamas, 231 note. 
 
 Io, the Argive princess, conducted 
 by Hermes to Egypt, 4-5; her 
 metamorphosis and adventures 
 related by Zepbyrus, 71-72. 
 
 Iolaus, the nephew and squire of 
 Herakles, 96, and note. 
 
 Iole, beloved by Herakles, men¬ 
 tioned by Propertius, 135 note. 
 
 Iphianassa, a Nereid, 80-82. 
 
 Iphikrates, an Athenian comman¬ 
 der, 124 note. 
 
 Iris, the Messenger of the Gods, 
 conveys to Poseidon the commands 
 of Zeus respecting the island of 
 Delos, 75-76. 
 
 Irus, a Phrygian king, father of 
 
INDEX. 
 
 299 
 
 Ganymedes, 55 note ; the name of 
 the beggar of the Odyssey, 276 
 and note. 
 
 Isis, the name of To as an Egyptian 
 divinity, 5 and note; customary 
 offerings to, 88 note. 
 
 Islands of the Blessed, the, the 
 Good despatched by Minos to, 
 165 and note; by Rhadamanthys 
 to, 257, and note. 
 
 Ismenodorus, a millionaire, on his 
 way to Orcus, 156. 
 
 Isokallos, equality of beauty in 
 Hades, 152. 
 
 Isotimia , equality of honour in 
 Hades, 86, 152. 
 
 Issus, the, battle of, between the 
 Persians and Macedonians, 116 
 and note, 118. 
 
 ltaiiotes, meaning of, 119 note. 
 
 Ithaka, the island of Odysseus, 43. 
 
 Ixion, a king of the Lapithae, Hera 
 complains to Zeus of the im¬ 
 proper conduct towards her of, 
 12-14, 111, and note; his fate in 
 Tartarus witnessed byMenippus, 
 275. 
 
 J. 
 
 Jacobitz, Karl, an editor of Lu¬ 
 cian, quoted, or referred to, 17, 
 41, 50, 87, 88, 89, 90, 145, 147, 
 157, 175, 177, 194, 196, 199, 216, 
 218, 239, 248. 
 
 James, St., first head of the Christian 
 Church, quoted, 251 note. 
 
 Jensius, a commentator on Lucian, 
 quoted, 166, 7iote. 
 
 Jewish Scriptures, the, according 
 to the Christian Fathers contain 
 the sources of the pagan Hellenic 
 theology or myth, 58 note. 
 
 jews, the, “ scape-goats ” of, 90 
 note. 
 
 Joppa (a towui on the coast of S.E. 
 Palestine), the bones of the sea- 
 monster killed by Pei’seus found 
 at, 82 note. 
 
 Julian, the Roman Emperor, his 
 satire upon the Christians of An¬ 
 tioch, 108 ; his Kaisaves referred 
 to, 115, 120 notes. 
 
 Juno, her vengeance on lo repre¬ 
 sented by Ovid, 5 note; repre¬ 
 
 sented by Seneca upbraiding her 
 husband’s infidelities, 13 note. 
 
 Jupiter, Wieland’s character of, 14 
 note. 
 
 Justin, a Latin historian, referred 
 to, 126 note. 
 
 Justinian, the Roman Emperor, re¬ 
 ferred to, 178 note. 
 
 Juvenal, Decimus Junius, the Latin 
 satirist, quoted, or referred to, 5, 
 11, 72, 95, 115, 120, 123, 140, 
 141, 146, 175, 17 7. 180, 182, 201, 
 202, 215, 247, 252, 253, 272, 278. 
 
 K. 
 
 Kadmus, King of Thebes, father of 
 Semele, 20. 
 
 Kaisares (“ Caesars”), the, a satire of 
 the Emperor Julian, 115, 120 
 notes. 
 
 Kallias, a stepson of Perikles, in¬ 
 stanced by Damis, 205, and note. 
 
 Kailiden.ides.a parasite, his lamen¬ 
 tations in Hades, 99-101. 
 
 Kallimachus, the Greek poet, re¬ 
 ferred to, 32, 61, 75. 
 
 KaUinikos, an epithet of Herakles, 
 130, and note. 
 
 Kallisto, a nymph beloved by Zeus, 
 3 note; mother of Pan, 50, 162 
 notes. 
 
 Kalydonian Hunt, the, 29 note. 
 
 Kandus, a Persian dress, 125 note. 
 
 Kanephoros , “ the basket-carrier,’ 5 ' 
 48 note. 
 
 Kanon , the, a piece of sculpture of 
 Polykleitus, 176 note. 
 
 Kaphareus, a headland of Euboea, 
 181, and note. 
 
 Kara-Sun, a tributary of the Tigris, 
 269 note. 
 
 Karion, a slave of Megapenthes, 
 248. 
 
 Kassander, a lieutenant of Alexan¬ 
 der of Macedon, 122 note. 
 
 Kastalia, the sacred fountain of the 
 Delphic Parnassus, regretted by 
 Apollo, 191. 
 
 Kastor, one of the twin Dioscuri, 
 58 and note, 59. 
 
 Kutagmphos (“variegated ”),a term 
 used by Plato, 260 note. 
 
 Kataplous, the, title of a Dialogue of 
 Lucian, its meaning, 237 note. 
 
300 
 
 INDEX. 
 
 Katerina di Siena, St., the stigmata 
 of, 257 note. 
 
 Katharmata (“the refuse of a sacri¬ 
 fice”), special meaning at Athens 
 of, used by St. Paul, 90 note. 
 
 Kaulcasus, Mt., the scene of the 
 suffering of Prometheus, 1-2. 
 
 Kekrops, (mythical) founder of 
 Athens and Athenian legislator, 
 mentioned by Menippus, 277. 
 
 Keleusma (“the boat-song”), 253 
 note. 
 
 Keltiberians (of Hispania), sub¬ 
 dued by Hannibal, 115. 
 
 Kentaurs (“bull-killers”), a half¬ 
 savage Thessalian people, famous 
 in Greek mvth, 128 note, 154 
 note ; their insolence and violence 
 noticed b_f Momus, 186. 
 
 Kepheus, King of .Ethiopia, father 
 of Andromeda, 80-82. 
 
 Kerameikus (“Potters’ Quarter”), 
 a part of the city of Athens, Zeus 
 takes a walk in, 182. 
 
 •Kerberus, three-headed canine jani¬ 
 tor of Orcus, his vigilance re¬ 
 marked by Diogenes, 122; one 
 of the “ lions ” of Hades; his in¬ 
 terview with Menippus, 145-146, 
 and notes, 165 ; dragged from his 
 post by Herakles, 242 note ; 260, 
 270 note, 271 ; the criminals in 
 Tartarus gnawed by, 274, 280. 
 
 Kerkyon, a robber-chief, alluded to 
 by Momus, 186, and note. 
 
 Kestos (magic girdle of Aphrodite), 
 the, Athena requires her to lay 
 aside, 44; description in the 
 Iliad of, 44 note. 
 
 Keton, a king, identified by Palaa- 
 phatus with the Ketos, 82 note. 
 
 hetos, the, a sea-monster, Andro¬ 
 meda exposed to, 80-82. 
 
 Kings, The (Jewish hook of), the 
 sacrifices of Solomon narrated in, 
 215 note. 
 
 Kirrha, a port of Phokis, 113 and 
 note. 
 
 Kithieron, Mt., the promontory of, 
 74; infested with robbers, 156. 
 
 Klarus, a town in Lydia, with an 
 oracle of Apollo, 31. 
 
 Kleisthenes, a pupil of Aristotle, 
 put to death by Alexander of 
 
 Macedon, 116 note; an Athenian 
 legislator, 236 note. 
 
 Kleitus, an intimate friend of Alex¬ 
 ander, put to death by that king, 
 116 note; Alexander taunted by 
 Diogenes with the murder of, 123; 
 also, by his father Philip, 125. 
 
 Kleomenes, a Spartan king, how 
 made mad, 56 note. 
 
 Klisia, the Greek reclining-couch, 
 54 and note. 
 
 Klotho, one of the three Fates, 166 
 and note, 167, 215, 216, 237-255. 
 
 Klymene, beloved by Helios, 24; the 
 mother of Phaethon, 57. 
 
 Klytoria, beloved by Zeus, com¬ 
 memorated in the Anthologiu, 3 
 note. 
 
 Knemon, a legacy-hunter, relates 
 his disappointment, 101-102. 
 
 Kodrus, the last king of Athens, 
 the representative of high birth, 
 104 and note. 
 
 Kokytus, a river of Hades, 139 
 note. 
 
 Kolophon, a town in S.W. Asia 
 Minor, famous for the neighbour¬ 
 hood of an oracle-temple of Apollo, 
 191 and note. 
 
 Kolossos (of Rhodes), the, puts in a 
 claim for precedence at the Coun¬ 
 cil of the Gods, 178 ; notice of, 
 178 note. 
 
 Korax (“Crow ”), the, a torture for 
 slaves, 273 and note. 
 
 Kort, “ a young woman,” how used, 
 77 note. 
 
 Korybus, an outlandish divinity, ob¬ 
 jected to by Momus, 232 and 
 note. 
 
 Kraneion, a suburb of Korinth, fre¬ 
 quented by Diogenes, 87 and 
 note. 
 
 Krateres (Greek mixing howls), 
 246 and note. 
 
 Kraterus, a Macedonian youth, a 
 principal favourite of Alexander, 
 126. 
 
 Krates, the Cynic, 112 and note; 
 with Diogenes in Hades laughs 
 at the fates of two millionaires, 
 11^-114; philosophizes with An- 
 tisthenes and Diogenes in Hades, 
 155-159. 
 
INDEX. 
 
 301 
 
 Kratinus, the Comic poet, arid the 
 oracle of Trophonius, 92 note. 
 
 Kraton, a rich Sybarite, on board 
 Charon’s boat, 107. 
 
 Kreon, king of Thebes, father of 
 Megara, 26 note. 
 
 Kreophagist trainer, the first, 107 
 note. 
 
 Krete, the island of, scandalous 
 story quoted by Momus respect¬ 
 ing burial of Zeus in, 226, 230 
 and note. 
 
 Kritias (a pupil of Sokrates, and 
 one of the “ Thirty ”), orator and 
 author of (lost) dramas, referred 
 to, 101 note. 
 
 Kroesus, king of Lydia, complains 
 to Pluto of the jeers of Menippus, 
 90-91 ; pointed out to the Cynic 
 by ZFakus, 140 ; consults the Del¬ 
 phic Oracle, 185 note , 202, 214 
 note ; the fated death of his son, 
 220 . 
 
 Kronos (Saturnus), 2 note; the 
 “ good old times ” of, 122 ; his 
 Senate, 235. 
 
 Kuon (“ the Dog ”), frequently 
 used by Lucian for the adjective, 
 86 and note. 
 
 Kydimachus, a prince slain and 
 robbed by Megapenthes, 245 
 
 Kynsegeirus, a Marathonian hero, 
 193 and note. 
 
 L. 
 
 Labrax (“ glutton ”), in the Greek 
 Comic poets, 102 and note. 
 
 Lacedaemonians, protected by Poly- 
 deukes, 89. 
 
 Lachesis, one of the three Fates, 241 
 note. 
 
 Lactantius (Christian rhetorician 
 triumphs in the mortality of Zeus, 
 203 note. 
 
 Laertes, father of Odysseus, 79 note, 
 163. 
 
 Laius, father of CEdipus, his pro¬ 
 phetic warning ridiculed by Cy- 
 niskus, 220 and note. 
 
 Lakydas, father of the tyrant Mega¬ 
 penthes, 244. 
 
 Lamia, a sort of vampire or spectre 
 of Greek Folklore, mentioned by 
 Strabo, 37 note. 
 
 Lampetie, one of the Ileliades, 58 
 note. 
 
 Lampichus, a tyrant, on Charon’s 
 boat, 106, 107, 111. 
 
 Lampis, a captain of mercenaries, a 
 fellow-traveller of Diogenes to· 
 Hades, 158. 
 
 Lampsakus, a town on the coast of 
 Mysia, a chief seat of the worship 
 of Priapus, 53. 
 
 Lapithai, a people of Thessaly, 12· 
 note. 
 
 Larvas and Lemures, the Greek 
 ghosts, 88 note. 
 
 Latmius, an epithet of Endymion,. 
 derived from Mt. Latmos, 23 
 note. 
 
 Learchus, a cousin of Dionysus, 
 allusion by Momus to, 231 and 
 note. 
 
 Lebadeia, a town in Poeotia, famous 
 for the Oracle of Trophonius, 92 
 note, 93, 281 and note. 
 
 Le Clerc, Jean, a commentator on 
 Lucian, referred to, 41, 69, 154 
 notes. 
 
 Leda, wife of Tyndareus king of 
 Sparta, beloved by Zeus, 3 note ; 
 the mother of Helene, 46 ; the 
 mother of the Dioscuri, 55, 59; 
 one of the “lions ” of Hades, 135* 
 and note. 
 
 Legacy-hunters, their servile adu¬ 
 lation and disappointments, 95·- 
 105, 112-114. 
 
 Lehmann, Johann Theoph., editor 
 and commentator of Lucian, 
 quoted or referred to, 28, 50, 62,, 
 69, 139, 154, 201, 239, 246, 262. 
 
 Lemnos, an island of the Aegean,, 
 the home of Charis, one of the 
 wives of Hephaestus, 30. 
 
 Lemures, see Larva ?- 
 
 Leontion, a name of the Greek 
 courtesan, 248 note. 
 
 Lerna (a place near Argos), the 
 scene of the rape of Amymone;, 
 69-71. 
 
 Lethe (the river of forgetfulness in 
 the infernal world),120; Diogenes- 
 advises Alexander of Macedon to 
 drink from, 123; suggested to* 
 Protesilaus by Pluto, 149 ; the· 
 (typical) tyrant Megapenthes iff 
 
302 
 
 INDEX. 
 
 prohibited by Rhadamanthys 
 from drinking of, 238, 261. 
 
 Leto (Latona), a mistress of Zeus, 
 disputes with Hera as to the 
 merits oftheirrespectivechildren, 
 30-32 ; “ lies in ” on the island of 
 Delos, 75-76; an attempted out¬ 
 rage by Tityus on, 165 note; 
 Hermes fights with, 199 and note. 
 
 Letters of P ha laris, in one of which 
 the tyrant of Agrigentum ex¬ 
 culpates himself to the Athenians, 
 167 note. 
 
 Livadhia, the modern Lebadeia, 
 281 note. 
 
 Livius, I., Latin historian, Annals 
 of Rome, quoted or referred to, 
 55, 59, 115, 116, 119, 120, 242. 
 
 Long hair (worn by men), how 
 variously regarded by the Greeks, 
 106 note. 
 
 Loup de mer, the French name for 
 a species of cormorant, 102 note. 
 
 Loves, the, attend the nuptial 
 pomp of Zeus and Europa, 84. 
 
 Lucan, Annaeus, Latin poet, his 
 Pharsalia referred to, 232. 
 
 Lucretius, T. Carus, Latin poet, his 
 De Rerum Naturd quoted or re¬ 
 ferred to, 111, 133, 139, 142, 
 165, 203, 223. 
 
 Lupines, a leguminous plant used 
 in the diet of the Cynics, 87,147. 
 
 Lycanthropy (the metamorphosis 
 of men into wolves), opinion of 
 Pausanias upon, 31 note. 
 
 Lykaon, a king of Arkadia, father 
 of Kallisto, 162 and note. 
 
 Lyceum (gymnasium of the Peripate¬ 
 tics), the, frequented by Menip- 
 pu-s, 87 and note. 
 
 Lydia, a district of S. W. Asia Minor, 
 one of the conquests of Dionysus, 
 35. 
 
 Lynkeus, one of the Argonauts, 
 famous for his keen sight, allusion 
 by Menippus in Hades to, 160. 
 
 Lysimachus, a Macedonian com¬ 
 mander, the story of Alexander’s 
 treatment of, 125-126 note. 
 
 Lysippus, laureate sculptor of Alex¬ 
 ander,177 and note ; his sculpture 
 of Dionysus and Herakles quoted 
 by Hermes, 179. 
 
 Lyttelton, Lord, a modern imitator 
 of Lucian, his Dialogue Alexan¬ 
 der the Great and Charles XII. 
 referred to, 127 note. 
 
 M. 
 
 Macrobius, Amhrosius (a gram¬ 
 marian of the Roman Empire), 
 his Saturnalian Feasts referred to, 
 103, 199, 201, 232. 
 
 Mad dogs, reference of Menippus 
 to, 134 and note. 
 
 Mad donkey, story of a, related 
 by Apuleius, 134 note. 
 
 Maeandrius, the secretary of Poly- 
 krates, in the Show, 276 and note. 
 
 Maecenas, C. Cilnius, an art-dis¬ 
 covery in the gardens of, at Rome, 
 69 note. 
 
 Maenads (“Frantic Women the 
 attendants of Bacchus, 4. 
 
 Maeonides, a name of Homer used 
 by Milton, 160 note. 
 
 Maera, a dog attendant on Eri- 
 gone, 36 note ; her introduction 
 into heaven criticised by Momus, 
 229. 
 
 Magi, of Babylon, the, 263, 268. 
 
 Maia, one of the Pleiades, mother 
 of Hermes, 15 ; her account of 
 thatinfant prodigy, 16,51; listens 
 to the complaints of her son and 
 consoles him, 54-56. 
 
 Mallus, a town in Cilicia, with an 
 oracle-shrine of Antilochus, 92 
 note. 
 
 Marathon, the battle of, Pan re¬ 
 warded for his aid to the Athe¬ 
 nians at, 52; pictured on the Stoa 
 Poikile at Athens, 193 and note. 
 
 Margherita, St., of Raffaelle, 80 
 note. 
 
 Marsyas (competitor of Apollo on 
 the pipe), defeated and flayed 
 alive by the God, 32. 
 
 Martialis, M. Valerius, the Epi¬ 
 grammatic poet, referred to, 95. 
 
 Matthew, St., quoted by Clement 
 of Alexandria as vegetarian in 
 his diet, 269 note. 
 
 Mausolus, Persian satrap of Karin, 
 questioned by Diogenes in Hades 
 as to his magnificent tomb, 150- 
 152, 277. 
 
INDEX. 
 
 303 
 
 Maximus Tyrius, a Greek rhetori¬ 
 cian ( Dissertations), referred to, 92 
 note. 
 
 Medeia, the Kolchian wife of Iason, 
 expresses the unhappy condition 
 of her sex, 161 note. 
 
 Mediterranean (Greek Sea par ex¬ 
 cellence), the, under the guardian¬ 
 ship of the Nereids, 80 note. 
 
 Medusa (the Gorgon), Da \ r inci’s 
 head of, 37 note; beheaded by 
 Perseus, 81-82. 
 
 Megakles, an aristocratic name at 
 Athens, 217 note. 
 
 Megapenthes, a tyrant, a dramatis 
 persona of the Ferry-Boat , 131 note, 
 2 37, 244-261. 
 
 Megara, a wife of Herakles, killed 
 by her husband, 26 note. 
 
 Megillus, a beau of Korinth, a mes¬ 
 sage of Diogenes to, 89. 
 
 Meidias, a plutocrat, an enemy of 
 Demosthenes, 205, 221, 222 note. 
 
 Melanthus, a parasite, 99. 
 
 Meleager, a famous Kalydonian and 
 Argonautic hero, in Hades, 129. 
 
 Meletus (or Melitus), the public 
 accuser of Sokrates, 222 and note. 
 
 Melite, a beautiful girl commemo¬ 
 rated in the Anthology, 49. 
 
 Memphis, the capital of Lower 
 Egypt, worship of the sacred bull 
 at, 232, and note. 
 
 Menander (the most famous name 
 in the New Comedy) quoted or 
 referred to, 91, 154, 208, 248. 
 
 Menelaus (king of Sparta, and hus¬ 
 band of Helen), preferred as suitor 
 by Helen, 47 and note ; sceptical 
 as to the miracles of Proteus,66- 
 67; in Hades casts the respon¬ 
 sibility of the Trojan War on 
 Paris, 137, 244 note. 
 
 Menippean Satires (of Varro), the, 
 referred to, 86 note. 
 
 Menippus, the Cynic (a frequent 
 dramatis persona in Lucian’s Dia¬ 
 logues), 86 and note; described 
 by Diogenes, 87; jeers in Hades 
 at certain typical princes, 90-91; 
 ridicules the Oracles of Tropho- 
 nius, 92-93; on Charon’s boat, 
 105-111; derides the fable of 
 Tantalus, 133-134; requests Her¬ 
 
 mes to point out. to him the u lions ” 
 of the Lower World, 135-136; 
 has Hiakus as his cicerone in 
 Hades, 139-144; inquires of 
 Kerberus the demeanour of So¬ 
 krates upon his descent to Hades, 
 145-146; his altercation with 
 Charon, 146-148; umpire between 
 Nireus and Thersites, 152-153; 
 his interview with Cheiron, the 
 Kentaur, 154-155; ridicules the 
 story of Teiresias, 160-162; his 
 descent, in the flesh, to Hades, 
 266-281. 
 
 Menoekeus, King of Thebes, father 
 of Kreon, 277. 
 
 Methymna, a city of Lesbos, the 
 birthplace of Arion, 73 and 
 note. 
 
 Methuselah, proverbial use of the 
 name of. 109 note. 
 
 Metrodorus, the successor of Epi- 
 kurus in the “ Garden,” his 
 vegetarian diet, 186 and note. 
 
 Metceci, l’esident-aliens, their posi¬ 
 tion, 227 and note. 
 
 Meursius, Jan, a Dutch archaeolo¬ 
 gist, referred to, 166 note. 
 
 Mezentius, an Etruscan king, father 
 of Lausus, in the /Eneis, 153 note. 
 
 Micromtgas, a romance of Voltaire, 
 referred to, 243 note. 
 
 Midas, a wealthy king of Phrygia, 
 in Hades, 90-91, 140; has 
 
 Diogenes for his neighbour in 
 Hades, 279. 
 
 Miltiades, the hero of Marathon, 
 193. 
 
 Milton, John, quoted, 82, 90, 160, 
 185. 
 
 Minos (king of Krete, and Judge 
 in the Infernal Regions), arbiter 
 in the quarrel between Alexander 
 of Macedon and Hannibal in 
 Hades, 114-119; reprieves certain 
 brigands from the tortures of 
 Tartarus, 164-167; 211; 223; 
 his special duties, 256 note ; 263 ; 
 272, 273. 
 
 Miser, the, of Fielding, referred to, 
 252 note. 
 
 Misopogon (of the Emperor Julian), 
 the, referred to, 108 note. 
 
 Mithras, the Persian Solar divinity, 
 
304 
 
 1NDKX. 
 
 the place of his golden statue 
 among the Olympians puzzles 
 Hermes, 177; Momus objects to, 
 232. 
 
 M ithrobarzanes, a Babylonian 
 Magus, 263, 269, 271, 281. 
 
 Mixobarbaros, its meaning, 189. 
 
 Mnemosyne (the divinity of 
 Memory), beloved by Zeus, 3 
 note. 
 
 Mnesitheus, a sea-captain, his nig¬ 
 gardly sacrifice, 181-182. 
 
 Moerae (the Fates), their superiority 
 to Zeus insinuated by Cyniskus, 
 213-224. 
 
 Moerichus, a millionaire, his un¬ 
 expected death, 112-113. 
 
 Moliere, Jean Baptiste Poquelin, 
 an imitator of Plautus, 21, 252 
 note. 
 
 Momus, the public censor of the 
 Olympian Court, his criticism 
 defied by Aphrodite, 39; exposes 
 the various causes for the growing 
 contempt for the Celestials, 169, 
 170, 184-194, 225-234; reads 
 the Decree of the Convention, 
 234-236. 
 
 Month, the Attic, its divisions, 234 
 note. 
 
 More, Sir T., his Utopia indebted 
 to Lucian, 262 note. 
 
 Mormo, a spectre of the Greek 
 nursery, noticed by Strabo, 37 
 note. 
 
 Mormolyka, a fuller form of the 
 above, 37 note. 
 
 Morta, the Latin name of one of 
 the Parcae, 214 note. 
 
 Moschus (pastoral poet of Syra- 
 kuse), his Idylls referred to, 23, 
 28, 83, 84, 140. 
 
 Muller, his Handbuch der Arch'do- 
 logie, referred to, 270. 
 
 Musae, the, why unassailed by 
 Eros, 37 ; sing at the nuptials of 
 Thetis and Peleus, 68. 
 
 Mykillus, a cobbler, the hero of the 
 Alektryon of Lucian, 250 note; a 
 candidate for a place in Charon’s 
 boat, 250-258. 
 
 Mykonos, an island of the JEgean, 
 89 note. 
 
 Myron, a distinguished Greek 
 
 sculptor, his statue preferred by 
 Zeus, 176; his most famous 
 works, 176 note. 
 
 Myrtium (a courtesan), a lover cuts 
 his throat from love of, 158. 
 
 Mysteries (Eleusinian) the, initia¬ 
 tion into, desiderated by Momus, 
 233. 
 
 Mytilene, a town of Lesbos, the 
 home of Phaon, 103 note. 
 
 N. 
 
 Narkissus, a handsome youth be¬ 
 loved by the nymph Echo, in 
 Hades, 135. 
 
 Naulos , ship-passenger-fare, 147 
 and note. 
 
 Nauplia, the Gulf of, a Pelopon¬ 
 nesian sea, 78 note. 
 
 Naxos, an island of the JEgean, the 
 scene of the desertion of Ariadne, 
 229 note. 
 
 Nekropompos, a name or title of 
 Hermes, 55 and note. 
 
 Nektar, the drink of the Olympian 
 deities, how symbolized by the 
 Pythagoreans, 5 ; its advancing 
 price noticed by Momus, 226, 235. 
 
 Nemea, a town in Argolis, Hermes 
 sent to, 5. 
 
 Nephele, the mother of Helle, 74 
 note, 75. 
 
 Nereids, daughters of Nereus, 
 nymphs of the Mediterannean 
 Sea, 65, 68, 80 ; attend the nup¬ 
 tials of Europa and Zeus, 84. 
 
 Nepos, Cornelius (a Latin His¬ 
 torian), Lives of the Military Com¬ 
 manders referred to, 115 note. 
 
 Nestor, king of Pylos, father of 
 Antilochus, 128; Sokrates in 
 Hades associates with, 278. 
 
 New Comedy, the, referred to, 95, 
 99, 108, 198, 242. 
 
 Newman, F. W., Prof., his Iliad of 
 Homer quoted, 112; his metre 
 adopted, 171; quoted, 204, 230 
 note. 
 
 Niobe, daughter of Tantalus, in¬ 
 stanced by Hera, 31; her miracu¬ 
 lous change into stone believed 
 by Pausanias, 81 note. 
 
 Nireus, next to Achilleus the hand¬ 
 somest Achaean at Ilium, 101^ 
 
INDEX. 
 
 305 
 
 105 note ; one of the “lions” 
 in Hades, 135; disputes with 
 Thersites in Hades, 152-153. 
 
 Noce Aldobrandine, a painting of the 
 marriage of Peleus and Thetis so 
 named, 69 note. 
 
 Nona, the Latin name of one of the 
 Parcag, 214 note. 
 
 Notus, the divinity of the S.W. 
 Wind, interrogates Zephyrus as to 
 the fate of Io, 71-72 ; respecting 
 the rape of Europa, 83-85. 
 
 Numphagogos , “the bride-con¬ 
 ductor,” 48 note. 
 
 Nux, the divinity of Night, father 
 of Momus, acts as registrar to 
 the Convention of the Gods, 
 235. 
 
 Nysa, Mt., in Thrace (or in India), 
 Hermes carries off the infant 
 Bacchus to, 20 and note , 127 
 note. 
 
 0 . 
 
 Obolus, a Greek coin, 88 and 
 note, 94, 114, 265 and note. 
 
 Octopus, or polypus, described by 
 Proteus, 67 and note. 
 
 Odysseia , the, quoted or referred to, 
 33, 34, 35, 63, 66, 67, 78, 79, 89, 
 112, 117, 131, 135, 160,163, 165, 
 171, 223, 231, 240, 244, 258, 
 262. 263, 265, 271, 272, 276 
 notes. 
 
 Odysseus (Ulysses), the hero of 
 the Odyssey , calls up the ghost 
 of Alkmene in Hades, 22 note; 
 his trick upon Polyphemus, 63- 
 64; his visions in Hades, 89 
 note; his prudence, 104; the 
 speech of Aias to, 112 and note ; 
 the famous speech of Achilleus, 
 in Hades, to, 128, 129 ; his inter¬ 
 view with Herakles, in Hades, 
 131 and note; evokes the spectres 
 of the Dead, 160 note ; his cool 
 reception by Aias in Hades, 163- 
 164, 249 note ; his reply to his 
 mother’s ghost, 265 note; his 
 credit in the Lower World, 270; 
 his company sought by Sokrates 
 in Hades, 278. 
 
 CEbalus, king of Sparta, father of 
 Hyakinthus, 27. 
 
 CEta, Mt., in Thessaly, the scene of 
 the self-immolation of Herakles, 
 26. 
 
 Olympia, in Elis, 10 ; a statue of 
 Hermes discovered at, 20,65, 107 
 notes. 
 
 Olympias, the mother of Alexander 
 of Macedon, her decease, 116 and 
 note. 
 
 Olympus, Mt., in Thessaly, the seat 
 of the third dynasty of the Hel¬ 
 lenic deities, 121 note. 
 
 Omphale (a queen of Lydia, mis¬ 
 tress of Herakles), her treatment 
 of that hero, 26. 
 
 Oneiros (or Alektryon ), a Dialogue of 
 Lucian, referred to, 250 note. 
 
 Onion, the, an object of veneration 
 to the Pelusians, 201. 
 
 Oppian, a Greek poet, his Halieutiha 
 referred to, 72 note. 
 
 Oracles, Greek temples or shrines 
 for delivery of, 92, 105 notes; 
 those of Apollo criticized by 
 Momus, 169, 190-192 ; ridiculed 
 by the Epikurean Damis, 202; 
 by the Cynic Cyniskus, 211, 
 220, 235. 
 
 Orca Marina, the, of Ariosto, 10 
 note. 
 
 Orcus (the Lat. poetic name for 
 Hades), 165,242, 258 notes. 
 
 Orestes (of Euripides), the, paro¬ 
 died, 172 and note. 
 
 Oreum, a town, a temple of Poseidon 
 at, 188. 
 
 Orcagna, Andrea, an Italian painter 
 ofthe fourteenth century, alluded 
 to, 274 note. 
 
 Origen, the Christian Father, his es¬ 
 say Against Celsus referred to, 92 
 note ; quotes St. Paul, 267 note. 
 
 Orlando Furioso , of Ariosto, referred 
 to, 80. 
 
 Orcetes, a Persian satrap, a fellow- 
 traveller of Krates to Hades, his 
 reluctance to travel on foot, 156- 
 158. 
 
 Oropus. a town on the borders of 
 Attica, an oracular shrine at, 92 
 note. 
 
 Orpheus, the (legendary) Greek 
 poet, his credit in Hades, 270 and 
 note. 
 
 X 
 
306 
 
 INDEX. 
 
 Osiris (in the Isis and Osiris of Plu¬ 
 tarch), referred to, 5 note. 
 
 Outis (the pseudonym of Odysseus). 
 Polyphemus complains to Po¬ 
 seidon of its use by that hero, 
 63-64,250. 
 
 Ovidius Naso, P., referred to, 2,4,5, 
 6, 18,19, 22, 23, 24,27,28,31,32, 
 33, 35, 40, 52, 56, 59, 61, 63, 65, 
 66, 67, 72, 77, 80, 82, 83, 96, 98, 
 103, 105, 133, 138, 141,149, 154, 
 160, 162, 163, 165, 186, 223, 229, 
 231. 
 
 Ox, the, an object of worship at 
 Memphis, 201. 
 
 “ Ox-murder ” ( Bouphonia), the fes¬ 
 tival of, a vicarious ceremony at, 
 166 note. 
 
 Oxydrakm ( a town and people of the 
 Punjaub ), Alexander of Macedon 
 boasts of his exploit at, 126 and 
 note. 
 
 P. 
 
 Padus (Pado), the, a river in N. 
 Italy, identified with theEridanus, 
 58 note ; Hannibal boasts of hav¬ 
 ing overrun the plains of, 115. 
 
 Pason (or Paean), physician to the 
 Olympian Court, 27 and note. 
 
 Palaephatus ( On Incredible Tales), a 
 Greek grammarian, quoted or re¬ 
 ferred to, 28, 32, 71, 74, 82,83. 
 
 Palctstra, the, Helen trained in, 46 
 and note ; Hermes presides in, 55, 
 239. 
 
 Palamedes, an Achaean hero of the 
 Trojan war, in Hades, 278. 
 
 Pallas (Athena), “ The Bath of,” 
 poem of Kallimachuson, 32 note. 
 
 Pamphilus, the hero of the Andria, 
 29 note. 
 
 Pan, the shepherd-divinity, Zeus 
 mistaken by Ganymedes for, 6; 
 claims Hermes as his father, 50- 
 52. 
 
 Panathenaic Festival, the, Pyrrhic 
 dance at, 18, 48 notes. 
 
 Pandora (the Hellenic Eve, wife of 
 Epimetheus), adorned by the 
 Graces and the rest of the divini¬ 
 ties, 21 note. 
 
 Panhellenic Games, the, training· 
 of athletes for, 107 note. 
 
 Pannuchides (Lat. Pei'vigilia ), “ vi¬ 
 gils,” 183 and note. 
 
 Panope, a Nereid, relates the ri¬ 
 valry of the Goddesses for the 
 prize of beauty, 68-69. 
 
 Panurge a principal character in 
 the Gargantua and Pantagruel, 
 262 note. 
 
 Pare®, the, their names, 214. 
 
 Paris, son of Priam, king of Ilium, 
 arbiter of the beauty of the three 
 Goddesses, 38-48 ; allusion in the 
 Anthology to, 49 note ; appointed 
 judge by Zeus, 68; Quintilian’s 
 allusion to, 136 note ; deprecates, 
 in Hades, responsibility for the 
 war of Ilium, 138. 
 
 Parmenion, a Macedonian com¬ 
 mander, a victim of the jealousy 
 of Alexander, 116 note. 
 
 Parthenius, a mountain on the bor¬ 
 ders of Arkadia, 51 and note. 
 
 Parthenon (“temple of the Vir¬ 
 gin ”), the, on the Athenian 
 Akropolis, the sculptures of, 18 
 note. 
 
 Paul, St., his Epistles quoted or re¬ 
 ferred to, 90, 257, 272. 
 
 Pausanias, the Greek traveller and 
 archmologist (Itinerary of Hellas), 
 quoted or referred to, 6, 18, 20, 
 23, 27, 31, 32, 35, 47, 52, 59, 72, 
 74, 77, 82, 89, 92, 107, 176, 194, 
 201, 214, 233, 243. 
 
 Peirithous, king of the Lapithse, 2, 
 13; with Theseus carries off 
 Helen to Athens, 46-47. 
 
 Peisistratus, tyrant ( tyrannus ) of 
 Athens, a rival of Megakles, 245, 
 261 note. 
 
 Peleus, king of the (Thessalian) 
 Myrmidones, his marriage with 
 Thetis, 68, 80 note, 128. 
 
 Pella, the capital of Macedon, the 
 birthplace of Alexander, 126 note. 
 
 Pelta, a kind of shield, 124. 
 
 Penelope, wife of Odysseus, said to 
 have been the mother of Pan, 50 
 note, 51. 
 
 Pentele, an Attic deme, the marble 
 of, 178. 
 
 Pentelikus, Mt., its derivation from 
 the above, 178 note. 
 
 Pentheus, king of Thebes, hisoppo- 
 
INDEX. 
 
 30 7 
 
 sition to the worship of Bacchus, 
 55-36 notes. 
 
 Pentekonteros, a Greek “ man-of- 
 war,” 199 and note. 
 
 Pentekosiomedimnoi, a class of Athe¬ 
 nian citizens, 178 note. 
 
 Peplos, the, a dress of Greek ladies, 
 84 and note. 
 
 Perdikkas, a Macedonian general, 
 receives a ring from Alexander, 
 191 and note ; 157 note. 
 
 Periander, tyrannus of Korintb, a 
 atron of Arion,73; one of the 
 even Sages, 142 note. 
 
 Perikles, the distinguished Athenian 
 statesman, his funeral oration 
 quoted, 174, 221 notes. 
 
 Persephone, queen of Hades, inter¬ 
 cedes for Protesilaus, 148, 150. 
 
 Perseus, the son of Danae, his ex- 
 osure related by Thetis, 77-78; 
 is rescue of Andromeda related 
 by a Triton, 80-82. 
 
 Persius Flaccus, Latin Stoic satirist, 
 referred to, 88, 123 notes. 
 
 Pervigilium Veneris (“the Vigil of 
 Venus”), an anonymous Latin 
 poem, 184 note. 
 
 Petronius Arbiter, his Satyricon re¬ 
 ferred to, 87. 
 
 Phaedrus, a pupil of Sokrates (who 
 gives his name to a Dialogue 
 of Plato), attends Sokrates in 
 Hades, 144 and note. 
 
 Phaon, of Mytilene, carries Aphro¬ 
 dite in his boat, 103; loved by 
 Sappho, 103 note. 
 
 Phcedon , the, of Plato, one source 
 of the Christian Inf erno , 139 note ; 
 referred to, 258. 
 
 Phaethon (“the Brilliant One”), 
 son of Helios, precipitated from 
 his father’s chariot, 56-58. 
 
 Phaethusa, one of three sisters of 
 Phaethon, 58 note. 
 
 Phalaris (Prince of Agrigentum), 
 allusion to the forged Letters ofj 
 167 note. 
 
 Phalaris , Bentley’s, referred to, 203 
 note. 
 
 Phales (unknown object of worship 
 among the people of Cyllene), 
 noticed bv Damis, 201 and note. 
 
 Pheidias (the most distinguished 
 
 name in Hellenic Art), the Zeus 
 of, 10; his use of enamel, &c., 
 44 note; instanced by Hermes, 
 176. 
 
 Pheidon, a legacy-hunter, 99. 
 
 Phersephatte (or Persephone), 
 Queen of the Under-World, in 
 love with Adonis, 23 and note. 
 
 Philenium, the name of a Greek 
 courtesan, 248 note. 
 
 Philip (of Macedon), father of Alex¬ 
 ander, 115, 120; in Hades ridi¬ 
 cules his son for his absurd pre¬ 
 tensions, and questions the great¬ 
 ness of his achievements, 124,127, 
 181, 221 note, 278. 
 
 Philocomasium, the name of a Greek 
 courtesan, 248 note. 
 
 Philomela (an Athenian princess, 
 outraged by Tereus), the miracle 
 of her metamorphosis instanced 
 by Teiresias, 162 and note. 
 
 Philonides, an interlocutor of Me- 
 nippus, 262, 264-281. 
 
 Philostrate I’Ancien, a French ver¬ 
 sion of the Eikones of Philostratus, 
 referred to, 19 note. 
 
 Philotas, son of Parmenion, put to 
 death by Alexander of Macedon, 
 116 note. 
 
 Phineus, a Thracian king and pro¬ 
 phet, 160 and note. 
 
 Philostratus, Flavius, a Greek 
 writer, his Eikones “ Pictures ” re¬ 
 ferred to, 19, 21, 27, 61, 69, 72, 
 76,81; his Life of Apollonius, 85,92. 
 
 Phoebe, the name of one of the 
 sisters of Phaethon, 58 note. 
 
 Phoenix, a tutor of Achilleus, 128 
 and note. 
 
 Phokion, an Athenian statesman, 
 his fate instanced by Damis the 
 Epikurean, 205 and note; by 
 Cyniskus the Cynic, 221. 
 
 Phratria, an Athenian municipal 
 term, 236 and note. 
 
 Phrixus, the brother of Helle, 74 
 and note. 
 
 Phronesium, a name of Greek cour¬ 
 tesans, 248 note. 
 
 Phryne, a celebrated hetuera or cour¬ 
 tesan, the original of the “ A phro- 
 dite rising from the sea,” her 
 dialogue with Alexander, 127 
 
308 
 
 INDEX, 
 
 note ; the original of the Knidian 
 Aphrodite, 178 note. 
 
 Pinciar, the lyric poet, quoted or 
 referred to, 17", 80,165, 193. 
 
 Pilos (Lat. Pileus), a Greek hat, 
 270 and note. 
 
 Pittakus, tyrannus of Mytilene, 
 one of the u Seven Sages,” in 
 Hades, 142. 
 
 Pityokamptes, a Greek brigand, 
 186, ana note. 
 
 Pitys, a nymph loved by Pan, 52 
 and note. 
 
 Plato, referred to, 3, 17, 19, 33,35, 
 36,49, 91,103,122, 139, tquoted) 
 145, 153, 183, 199, 218, 249, 
 255, 256, 260, 267, 269, 274. 
 
 Plautus, T. Maccius, the Latin 
 comic dramatist, referred to, 6, 
 21, 123, 252, 273. 
 
 Plinius (the elder), his Natural. His¬ 
 tory referred to, 47, 69, 72, 82, 85, 
 89; 123,150,176,178,193,232,269. 
 
 Plinius (the younger), on dolphins, 
 72. 
 
 Plutarch, the Greek Biographer and 
 Moralist, quoted or referred to, 5, 
 18, 36, 67, 87, 89, 92, 108, 115, 
 116, 117, 120, 121, 122, 123,125, 
 126, 140, 143,185, 186, 200, 205, 
 221, 222, 274. 
 
 Pluto, the monarch of the Under- 
 World, cheated by Asklepius, 
 26 note ; employs Hermes, 55; 
 KrcESus, in Hades, appeals to, 90- 
 91; gives a commission to Her¬ 
 mes, 95-96; accused by a parasite 
 in Hades, 97-99; petitioned by 
 Protesilaus, 148-150; Hermes ex¬ 
 pects a scolding from, 239, 270 
 note, 271. 
 
 Pnyx, the, a famous hill in Athens, 
 179 and note. 
 
 Poirne, (in Hellenic theology the 
 “ avenging” divinities), 271, 272 
 note. 
 
 Politeuesthai, the meaning of the 
 verb, 187 note. 
 
 Pollux, a Greek grammarian, his 
 Onomastikon referred to, 235 note. 
 
 Polus, a Greek tragedian, 173 and 
 note; 200. 
 
 Polydamas, a Greek athlete, 233 
 and note. 
 
 Polydektes, king of Seriphos, pro¬ 
 tector of Danae and Perseus, 81 
 and note. 
 
 Polydeukes, one of the twin Dios¬ 
 curi, rescues his sister Helen, 47 
 note, 55 ; Apollo is unable to dis¬ 
 tinguish him from Kastor, 59 and 
 note; commissioned by Diogenes 
 in Hades, 86-89. 
 
 Polydipsias, Homeric epithet of the 
 city Argos, 70 and note. 
 
 Polydorus, a millionaire, 100 ; in 
 Euripides, 264. 
 
 Polygnotus, a Greek painter, adorns 
 the Painted Stoa, 182 note. 
 
 Polykleitus, Greek sculptor, his 
 works, 176 and note. 
 
 Polykrates, tyrannus of Samos, 
 crucified by Oructes, 156 note, 276 
 and note. 
 
 Polyphemus, one of the Cyklopes, 
 the lover of Galateia, ridiculed by 
 the nymph Doris, 61-63; com¬ 
 plains to Poseidon of his treat¬ 
 ment by Odysseus, 63-65. 
 
 Polypus, see Octopus. 
 
 Polystratus, a centenarian plutocrat, 
 relates in Hades the adulation en¬ 
 joyed by him on earth, and how he 
 had tricked his flatterers, 102-104. 
 
 Pompeii, the buried city of Cam- 
 ania, a mosaic of the battle of 
 ssus found at, 116 note. 
 
 Popana, sacrificial offering to the 
 dead, 240 and note. 
 
 Porphyry, the great Neo-Platonist, 
 his life of Pythagoras referred to, 
 141 note; On Abstinence from 
 Flesh-Meats, 166, 215 notes. 
 
 Porson, Richard, Prof, of Greek at 
 Cambridge, his Adversaria re¬ 
 ferred to, 139 note. 
 
 Portraits of Greek and Roman 
 princes, their abundance, 247 
 and note. 
 
 Porus, a Hindu Prince, Alexander 
 boasts his defeat of, 118. 
 
 Poseidon, the ruler of the sea, 15 ; 
 Hermes refused admission to Zeus 
 by, 18-20; conspires against Zeus, 
 50 ; deputes his functions to the 
 Dioscuri, 60 ; father of Polyphe¬ 
 mus, 61 ; hears from him his ac¬ 
 count of the loss of his eye, and 
 
INDEX. 
 
 309 
 
 the stratagem of Odysseus, 63-65; 
 commanded by Zeus to keep the 
 island of Delos stationary, 75-76; 
 reproached by Enipeus with the 
 seduction of the nymph Tyro, 78- 
 79; at the nuptials of Europaand 
 Zeus, 84; claims precedence of 
 Anubis in the Council of the Gods, 
 177; gives his advice in the 
 Council, 167-188; acts as vice- 
 president in the Convention, 235. 
 
 Pothos(as a divinity), the attendant 
 of Aphrodite, 47-48. 
 
 Potidaea, a town in Macedon, So- 
 krates saves the life of Alkibiades 
 at, 108 note. 
 
 Praxinoa,an Alexandrian lady,in the 
 Adoniazusee of Theokritus,37 note. 
 
 Praxiteles, Greek sculptor, a famous 
 statue of Hermes by, 24 note; the 
 Knidian Aphrodite of, 178 and 
 note. 
 
 Priam, king of Ilium, the father 
 of Paris, 38 ; admires the beauty 
 of Helen from the walls of Ilium, 
 136 note, 277. 
 
 Priapus (the personification of Na¬ 
 tural Fertility), son of Aphrodite 
 and Dionysus, his character ex¬ 
 posed by Dionysus, 53-54. 
 
 Probouleuma, a resolution of the 
 Athenian Boule( Senate),236 note. 
 
 Probus, /Emilius, a Latin writer, 
 divides with Nepos the credit of 
 the authorship of the Lives of 
 Eminent Commanders, 115 note. 
 
 Proetus, the uncle of Danae, 77 note. 
 
 Progastores, “fat paunches,” 272 
 and note. 
 
 Prokrustes, a Greek brigand of pro¬ 
 verbial fame, 164 note. 
 
 Prokyon, the dog Maera transferred 
 to the skies, 229 note. 
 
 Prometheus, the Titan, petitions 
 Zeus to free him from his tortures, 
 1-3; his crucifixion reproached 
 to Zeus by the cynic Cyniskus, 
 217. 
 
 Pronoia, term in the Stoic termi¬ 
 nology for “ Providence,” 218 and 
 note. 
 
 Propertius, Aurelius, Latin elegiac 
 poet, referred to, 105 note; quoted, 
 135 note. 
 
 ΡΐΌίέ, a young girl, an epigram 
 in the Anthology on, 165 note. 
 
 Protesilaus (a Thessalian prince, 
 the first of the Greeks killed by 
 the Trojans), assaults Helen and 
 Paris m Hades, 137-138; peti¬ 
 tions Pluto for leave to visit 
 his newly-married wife, 148-158. 
 
 Proteus, the Sea-divinity, his inter¬ 
 view with Menelaus, 66, 67. 
 
 Protonos, the, part of the rigging 
 of a Greek ship, 205 and note. 
 
 Providence, the Epikurean and 
 Stoic representatives dispute the 
 question of, 196-208; Cyniskus 
 cross-examines Zeus upon, 211, 
 221-224. 
 
 Prusias, king of Bithynia, Hannibal 
 dies in exile at the court of, 118. 
 
 Psephisma, the English “ Act,” 236 
 note. 
 
 Psephophoria, “balloting,” 236 note. 
 
 Psyche (of Apuleius), the, referred 
 to, 9 note ; ner descent to the In¬ 
 fernal regions, 146 note, 229, 
 242. 
 
 Psychagogos, a title of Hermes, 55 
 and note. 
 
 Ptolemseus, Philopator, (Greek) 
 king of Egypt, his extraordinary 
 ship, 109 note. 
 
 Ptolemaeus, Soter, at war with Per- 
 dikkas, 121 note. 
 
 Ptolemagus, the celebrated Greek 
 astronomer and geographer, his 
 Geographical Description referred 
 to, 255 note. 
 
 Punica Fides, a Roman proverb, 118 
 note. 
 
 Pyriphlegethon, an infernal river or 
 lake, 139 and note ; Minos con¬ 
 demns a criminal to be cast into, 
 164, 238, 260; 271. 
 
 Pyrrliias (Lat. Rufus), the name of 
 a slave, 276 note. 
 
 Pyrrhic dance, Athena at her birth 
 dances the, 18 and note. 
 
 Pyrrho, of Elis, the founder of 
 Pyrrhonism or Scepticism, 144 
 note. 
 
 Pyrrhus, king of Epeirus, pro¬ 
 nounced by Hannibal to be 
 second in the military art, 119 
 note. 
 
 2 
 
310 
 
 INDEX. 
 
 Pythagoras (of Samos), the apoph¬ 
 thegm i 1 KnowThyself ’ ’ attributed 
 to, 91 note ; an interview of Me- 
 nippus in Hades with, 141 and 
 note; 232 note. 
 
 Pythagoreans, the, allegorize the 
 ambrosia and nektar ot the Celes¬ 
 tials, 9 note. 
 
 Q. 
 
 Queen of Heaven, the, Homeric 
 epithets of, 43 note. 
 
 Quevedo Villegas, Francisco da, a 
 Spanish satirist, his indebtedness 
 to the Menippus in his Visions oj 
 the Inferno, 262. 
 
 Quintilian, M. Fabius, the distin¬ 
 guished Latin rhetorician and 
 grammarian, his Oratorical Insti¬ 
 tutions quoted, on the ambiguities 
 of “horns” and “ crocodiles,” 88 
 note , on the singular beauty of 
 Helen, 136 note; his allusion to 
 the device of Hypereides in re¬ 
 gard to Phryne referred to, 255 
 note. 
 
 R. 
 
 Rabelais, Francis, his Gargantua 
 and Pantagruel referred to, 262; 
 quoted, 278. 
 
 RafFaelle, Sanzio da Urbino, his 
 Santa Margherita referred to, 80 
 note. 
 
 Recueil des Peintures Antiques , par 
 Pietro Bartoli, referred to, 69 
 note. 
 
 Regal titles, Plutarch’s animadver¬ 
 sion upon, 121 note. 
 
 Reitz, Friedrich Wolfgang, a Ger¬ 
 man philologist and commentator 
 on Lucian, referred to, 182 note. 
 
 Rhadamanthys (son of Zeus and 
 Europa, and brother of Minos, 
 one of the Judges in the Under- 
 World),determines the respective 
 military merits of Alexander of 
 Macedon and Hannibal in the 
 Islands of the Blessed, 119 note ; 
 Thersites brings an action for 
 slander against Homer in the 
 same Elysium, 152 note; judges 
 a number of ghosts brought by 
 Hermes, 238,256-261; Menippus 
 
 finds him in a state of panic, 
 272, 280. 
 
 Rhodanus (Rhone), the river, 
 identified by Hischylus with the 
 Eridanus, 58 note. 
 
 Rhea (or Cybele), wife of Kronos, 
 the fidelity of her husband con¬ 
 trasted with the conduct of Zeus, 
 22 ; her love in old age for Atys 
 instanced by Aphrodite, 24-25; 
 the victim of Eros, 36. 
 
 Rhodokleia, a beauty commemorated 
 in the Anthology, 49 note. 
 
 Rhodope, another beauty in the 
 Anthology, 49. 
 
 Richard 1. of England, the combat 
 of Lysimachus with a lion com¬ 
 pared to the similar fable respect¬ 
 ing, 125 note. 
 
 Roxana, a Baktrian princess, Alex¬ 
 ander’s marriage with her criti¬ 
 cized by his father, Philip of 
 Macedon, 126 and note. 
 
 Rufia, the modern name of the river 
 Alpheius, 65 note. 
 
 S \ 
 
 Sabazius, a Phrygian divinity, de¬ 
 nounced by Momus, 232 and 
 note. 
 
 Salamis (the Attic island), the 
 famous oracle respecting, 185 
 and note. 
 
 Salmacis (a Naiad) and Herma- 
 phroditus, the story of, 19 note. 
 
 Sappho (the Lesbian poetess) in 
 love with Phaon, the Ovidian 
 letter of, 103 note. 
 
 Saracens, the, break up the pros¬ 
 trate Kolossus of Rhodes, 178 
 note. 
 
 Sardanapalus, king of Assyria, in 
 Hades joins with other kings 
 in a complaint to Pluto, 90-91; 
 one of the “ lions ”of the infernal 
 regions, 140; instanced by Da- 
 mis, 205 ; by Cyniskus, 222. 
 
 Satan, Milton’s, his huge size, 275 
 note. 
 
 Satyrs, the, attendants of Pan, their 
 figure criticized by Momus, 229. 
 
 Satyrus, a Comic actor, 200 and 
 note ; a plebeian mentioned by 
 Menippus, 277. 
 
INDEX. 
 
 311 
 
 Scape-goat, tlie, vicarious use 
 among the Jews of, 90 note. 
 
 Scipio Africanus, P. Cornelius, the 
 Roman conqueror of Hannibal, 
 claims precedence of the Cartha¬ 
 ginian, but acknowledges his in¬ 
 feriority to Alexander of Mace- 
 don, 114,119, and note; claims a 
 serpentine origin, 120 note. 
 
 Seirius, in the constellation of Canis 
 Major, a canine deification, 145 
 note. 
 
 Selene (Luna), the Moon-Di¬ 
 vinity, charged by Aphrodite 
 with her love for Endymion, 22- 
 
 ^ 23. 
 
 Semele, a Theban princess, daughter 
 of Kadmus, loved by Zeus, 3 
 note; Zeus charges himself with 
 the concealment of her infant, 
 Bacchus, 19 and note ; her terri¬ 
 ble fate, 20; Hera’s jealousy of, 
 
 ^ 36, 55, 172. 
 
 Semiramis (the warrior queen of 
 Assyria, wife of Ninus), the dove 
 sacred to, 201 note. 
 
 Seneca, M. Annaeus (the most dis¬ 
 tinguished of the Latin moralists), 
 his tragedy Hercules Furens , 
 quoted, 13 ; referred to, 22, 27 ; 
 bis character of Alexander of 
 Macedon, 117 note; on human 
 insignificance, 129 note ; on the 
 frugal diet of the successor of 
 Epikurus, 187 note, 218. 
 
 Seres, the Greek and Latin name 
 for the Chinese and neighbouring 
 peoples, 255 note. 
 
 Serpent, the, a prodigious one in 
 the Thebais, 81 note ; Olympias, 
 and the mother of Scipio, visited 
 by, 120 and note. 
 
 u Seven Sages,” the, 142 note. 
 
 u Seven Wonders of the World,” 
 the, Apollo’s statue at Rhodes 
 one of the, 178 note. 
 
 Shadows (of the Dead), the, ac¬ 
 cusers to Minos of the cruel and 
 wicked, 273 and note. 
 
 Shakespere, William, the Titus 
 Andronicus referred to, 162 note ; 
 his Henry 1V. quoted, 278 
 note. 
 
 Shelley, Percy Bysshe, his descrip¬ 
 
 tion of the Niobe(in Letters from 
 Italy) referred to, 31; his version 
 of the Hymn to Mercury referred 
 to, 36. 
 
 Ships, the huge, built by Hiero 
 of Syrakuse, and by the Ptolemies 
 of Egypt, noticed, 109 note. 
 
 Sidon, on the Syrian coast, a com¬ 
 mission of Hermes to, 55. 
 
 Sikyon, a city near Korinth, a ship¬ 
 wreck near to, 113. 
 
 Silenus (a Satyr, and companion of 
 Bacchus ),the divinity of drunken¬ 
 ness, criticized by Momus, 229 
 and note. 
 
 Simmiche, a Greek courtesan, 255 
 and note. 
 
 Simylus, an interlocutor with Poly¬ 
 stratus (a plutocrat), in Hades, 
 102-104. 
 
 Sisyphus, a king of Korinth, his 
 punishment in Tartarus, 223 and 
 note. 
 
 Skeironian Rocks (in the Gulf of 
 iEgina), the scene of Ino’s marine 
 deification, 72. 
 
 Skopas, a distinguished Greek 
 sculptor, his representation of 
 Eros, Himeros, and Pothos, at¬ 
 tendants of Aphrodite, 47 note. 
 
 Slaves (with the Greeks), their 
 treatment, 56, 104. 
 
 Sogdiana (Bokhara), a province of 
 the Persian Empire, Roxana cap¬ 
 tured in, 126 note. 
 
 Sokrates (the philosopher), saves 
 the life of Alkibiades, 108 note ; 
 interrogated in Hades by Menip- 
 pus,143-144; Menippus questions 
 Kerberus as to his behaviour 
 upon his first arrival in Hades, 
 145-146 ; his rationalistic expla¬ 
 nation of thunder, 203 note ; his 
 death instanced by Damis, 205 
 and note ; reproached to Zeus by 
 Cyniskus, 222; accuses the So¬ 
 phists, 268 note; perambulates 
 Hades, cross-examining, &c., 278 
 and note. 
 
 Solinus, a Greek compiler of Geo¬ 
 graphy and History,bis Polyhistor 
 referred to, 82 note. 
 
 Solon (the Athenian legislator), in 
 Hades pointed out to Menippus, 
 
312 
 
 INDEX. 
 
 141; one of the “Seven Sages,” 
 142 note. 
 
 Sophokles, his lost drama Rizotomos 
 a satire on the Medical world, 
 26 note; referred to, 142, 163, 
 173. 
 
 Sostratus,abrigand, obtains reprieve 
 from the sentence of Minos by 
 alleging Predestination and Ne¬ 
 cessity, 164-167. 
 
 Spannheim, Ezekiel, his Use of 
 Medals referred to, 177 note. 
 
 Spenser, Edmund, see Faerie Queen. 
 
 Stateira (a Persian princess, daugh¬ 
 ter of Dareius), married by Alex¬ 
 ander, murdered by Roxana, 126 
 note. 
 
 Statius, Papinius, a Latin poet, his 
 Thebais referred to, 4, 18, 81, 165 
 notes. 
 
 Stackelberg, his Die Gruber der 
 Hellenen referred to, 146 note. 
 
 Stele (Lat. Cippns ), 277 and note. 
 
 Stigmata, “brand-marks,” 257 and 
 note. 
 
 Stoa Poekile (“Painted Porch”), 
 the, a philosophical combat at¬ 
 tended by Zeus at, 182 and note; 
 Herakles offers to pull down, 193, 
 194 note, 196. 
 
 Stoics, the, their idea of u Provi¬ 
 dence,” 218 note. 
 
 Strabo (the Greek geographer), his 
 Geographical Facts referred to, 5, 
 37, 38, 56, 69, 70, 78, 89, 123, 
 
 ^ 142, 177, 201. 
 
 Struldbrugs, the, of Luggnagg, allu¬ 
 ded to, 100 note. 
 
 Styx (“the Hateful River”), the, 
 an infernal stream, the passage- 
 fare of, 89 note ; 93,105,139 ; the 
 most solemn oath of thelmmortals, 
 235, 272. 
 
 Suetonius Tranquillus, the Roman 
 Historian, his Lives of the Twelve 
 Caesars referred to, 215, 234, 259. 
 
 Suidas, a Greek lexicographer, re¬ 
 ferred to, 7, 88, 156, 206, 228, 
 240. 
 
 Sulla, L. Cornelius (the Roman Dic¬ 
 tator), his occupation in Hades, 
 278. 
 
 SummumBonum (“Highest Good”), 
 the, of Aristotle, that philoso¬ 
 
 pher reproached by Alexander 
 of Macedon for his idea of, 123; 
 Plato’s and Cicero’s, 122 note. 
 
 Sunoikia, a batch of lodging-houses, 
 251 and note. 
 
 Swift, Jonathan, his Voyage to 
 Lilliput referred to, 243. 
 
 Swinburne, Algernon, his Atalanta 
 in Kalydon referred to, 200 note. 
 
 Stymphalian birds (of the Ar- 
 kadian lake Stymphalis), killed or 
 expelled by Herakles, the exploit 
 instanced by Momus, 186. 
 
 Tacitus, Cornelius, historian of 
 the early Roman Empire (Hist. 
 and Annals), referred to, 247, 
 273 notes. 
 
 Tienia, the Persian and Greek, 122 
 and note. 
 
 Taj-Mahal (“ Crown of Empires ”), 
 at Agra, the splendid tomb built 
 by Shah Jelian, 150 note. 
 
 Taenarum (C. Matapan), promon¬ 
 tory of S. E. Peloponnese, a dol¬ 
 phin carries Arion to, 23. 
 
 Tantalus (king of Lydia, father of 
 Pelops and Niobe), the story of 
 his punishment in Tartarus de¬ 
 rided by Menippus, 133-134; by 
 Cyniskus, 222. 
 
 Tartarus (the “Hell” of the Helle¬ 
 nic theology), Eros threatened by 
 Athena with, 37; Tityus in, 165 
 note ; Kronos, the father of Zeus, 
 confined in, 217 ; Sisyphus in, 223 
 note; rebel divinities threatened 
 with, 227 ; the tyrant Megapen- 
 tlies in, 238, 260," 261 ; the sights 
 of, 271-280. 
 
 Taurus (a certain king), supposed by 
 Paleephatus to have been the ac¬ 
 tual ravisher of Europa, 83 note. 
 
 Taygetus, Mt., in Lakonia, 28. 
 
 Tegea, a town of Arkadia, frequented 
 by Pan, 51. 
 
 Teiresias, the blind Theban prophet, 
 his alleged double life (of either 
 sex) ridiculed by Menippus, 160- 
 162, 163. 
 
 Teleioi, the, term used of the Gods, 
 184; of Athenian citizens, 184 note. 
 
INDEX. 
 
 313 
 
 Tennyson, Lord, his CEnone referred 
 to, 40 note. 
 
 Terentius Afer, P. (theLatin Comic 
 poet), his Andria quoted, 20 note ; 
 referred to, 44, 70, 89, 242. 
 
 Terpsion, a legacy-hunter, his com¬ 
 plaint to Pluto, 97-99. 
 
 Tertullian, Q. Septimius Flavius (a 
 Christian Father), his remark on 
 the Pagan oracles (Apologia), quo¬ 
 ted, 233 note. 
 
 Tetriguiai (of ghosts), “squeaking” 
 or u squealing,” 272 and note. 
 
 Thalassa (the divinity of the Sea), 
 appeal by the river Xanthus to, 
 76-77. 
 
 Thales (of Miletus, originator of the 
 Nebular Hypothesis ), the proverb 
 “ Know thyself ” attributed to, 91 
 note; one of the “ lions ” of 
 Hades, 142. 
 
 Thamyris ( a Thracian poet), one of 
 the blind prophets enumerated by 
 Milton, 160 note. 
 
 Thanatos, death personified in the 
 Alkestis of Euripides, 97 note. 
 
 Tlxasos (an island of the ^Egean), a 
 statue of a famous athlete in, 
 233 and note. 
 
 Theagenes, a famous athlete in¬ 
 stanced by Momus, 233. 
 
 Theagenes and Charicleia (or the 
 JEthiopica), the romance ofHelio- 
 dorus, referred to, 6, 192 notes. 
 
 Thebes, chief city of Boeotia, its total 
 destruction boasted by Alexander 
 of Macedon, 118. 
 
 Themis (the divinity of Law or 
 Custom), the mother of the Horae, 
 21 note. 
 
 Themistokles (Athenian statesman 
 and commander), his divining 
 faculty, 193 and note. 
 
 Theognis, the Greek Gnomic poet, 
 referred to, 173, 212 note. 
 
 Theokritus (pastoral or “buco¬ 
 lic ” poet of Syrakuse and Alex¬ 
 andria), his Idylls referred to, 6, 
 23, 32, 37, 58, 61. 
 
 Theophrastus (successor of Aristotle 
 in the Lyceum), his Churacteres 
 referred to, 208, 252 notes. 
 
 Thersites (the deformed “dema¬ 
 gogue ” of the Iliad), disputes 
 
 in Hades with Nereus, 152-153, 
 276. 
 
 Theseus (Athenian king and legis¬ 
 lator), carries off Helen, 46 ; his 
 useful intervention noticed by 
 Momus, 186. 
 
 Thetes, a class of Athenian citizens, 
 178 note. 
 
 Thetis, a Nereid (wife of Peleus and 
 mother of Achilleus), picture of 
 the nuptials of, 69 note; relates 
 the story of Danae’s exposure, 77- 
 78 ; blamed by Agamemnon, 163 ; 
 the obligations of Zeus to, 199. 
 
 Thirty Tyrants, the, 243. 
 
 Thracian horses (of Diomedes), the, 
 tamed by Herakles, 186. 
 
 Thucydides (Greek historian;, 
 quoted or referred to, 174 note, 
 175, 194, 208, 2341 
 
 Thukritus, a millionaire, disappoints 
 the legacy-hunters, 97-99. 
 
 Tiara, a Persian head-dress, affected 
 by Alexander, 125. 
 
 Tibullus, Albius, Latin Elegiac poet, 
 referred to, 269 note. 
 
 Tigris, the river, Menippus bathes 
 in, 269. 
 
 Timokles, a Stoic champion of the 
 Gods, his contest with Damis 
 the Epikurean, 168, 170, 196- 
 208. 
 
 Tisiphone (one of the Erinyes), 
 256 note; charged by Hermes to 
 urge on the tyrant Megapenthes, 
 258. 
 
 Tithonus (brother of Priam, ob¬ 
 tains immortality without the 
 gift of perpetual youth), prover¬ 
 bial for age, 100 and note. 
 
 Titus Andronicus, a Shakesperian 
 drama, referred to, 162 note. 
 
 Tityus (a Titan) offers violence tc 
 the Goddess Leto, his tortures in 
 Tartarus, 111 note, 165, 275. 
 
 Timolus, Mt., in Lydia, its inhabi¬ 
 tants led captive by Bacchus, 35. 
 
 Toicharchus, an officer of the Greek 
 ship, 206, and note. 
 
 Ti'istram Shandy, of Sterne, referred 
 to, 143 note. 
 
 Triton (son of Poseidon), assists his 
 father in carrying oft’ the nympli 
 A my mono, 69-71. 
 
314 
 
 INDEX. 
 
 Tritons (Sea-divinities), the, Pau- 
 sanias hesitates to believe in their 
 shell-trumpets, 31 note; attend the 
 nuptial-procession of Europa, 84. 
 
 Troad, the, Helle buried by the 
 Nereids in, 74-75. 
 
 Trophonius, his Cave-Oracle (in 
 Boeotia) derided by Menippus, 
 92-93 and note. 
 
 Tumboruchos (“a tomb digger”), a 
 plunderer of rich tombs, 207 and 
 note. 
 
 Tyro ( a virgin loved by the river-god 
 Enipeus), Enipeus reproaches 
 Poseidon with the violation of, 
 78-79. 
 
 Tyre (chief Phoenician city and 
 port of Syria), Alexander of Ma- 
 eedon boasts his exploits at, 118. 
 
 U. 
 
 Una, the heroine of the Faerie Queen, 
 allusion to, 62 note. 
 
 Uranus (the sky or heaven), father 
 of lapetus, 3. 
 
 Utopia, the, of Sir Thomas More, 
 indebted to Lucian, 262. 
 
 V. 
 
 Vacuums, a scientific term used in 
 the philosophical schools, 268. 
 
 Valerius Maximus (a Latin histori¬ 
 cal compiler), in his Memorable 
 Actions and Sayings allows some 
 virtue to Hannibal, 117 note. 
 
 Varro, Terentius (Latin Anti¬ 
 quarian), his Menippean Satires 
 referred to, 86 note. 
 
 \ r enus Aurea, the “ Golden Venus ” 
 of the JEneid, 104 note. 
 
 Veronese, Paolo (of the School of 
 Venice), his Rape of Europa (a 
 sketch of the Vienna picture in 
 the British National Gallery) re¬ 
 ferred to, 85 note. 
 
 Vinci, Leonardo da (of the Schools 
 of Florence and Milan), his Head 
 of Medusa referred to, 37 note. 
 
 Virgilius Maro, P., his Eclogues re¬ 
 ferred to, 6; AEneis, 35, 38, 43, 
 50, 55, 61, 66, 72, 104, 113, 139, 
 153, 165, 239, 256, 258, 271. 
 
 Virtue, the Hill of, in the metaphor 
 of the Stoics, 262; represented in 
 the Picture of heftes, 266, 267 note. 
 
 Visions of Hell, Quevedo’s, indebted 
 to Lucian, 262 note. 
 
 Voltaire, Francois Marie Arouetde, 
 his Micromtgas and other romans 
 referred to, 243 note. 
 
 Votive tablets, in the temples of 
 Isis, 88 note. 
 
 Voyage to Lilliput, the, of Swift, 
 referred to, 243 note. 
 
 W. 
 
 War, its ridiculousness exposed 
 in particular by Voltaire and by 
 Swift, 243 note. 
 
 Warburton, Bp., his Divine Legation 
 of Moses referred to, 279 note. 
 
 Water, an object of veneration to the 
 Egyptians, 201. 
 
 Wieland, Christopher Martin (Ger¬ 
 man Poet and Essayist), transla¬ 
 tor and editor of Lucian, quoted 
 or referred to, 1, 7,15, 38, 43, 44, 
 46, 94, 110, 171, 172, 175, 176, 
 181, 184, 187, 190, 192, 194, 195, 
 20b, 209, 213, 218, 220, 231, 
 240, 254, 266, 273 notes. 
 
 X. 
 
 Xanthias (a slave attendant on 
 Bacchus on his descent to the 
 Under-World), his name for the 
 river of Oblivion, 239 note; his 
 independence of Charon’s boat, 
 253 note. 
 
 Xanthus (in the Troad), the river, 
 supplicates the aid of Thalassa 
 after his treatment by Hephaestus, 
 76-77. 
 
 Xenophon (Greek historian and 
 essayist), referred to, 84,122,124, 
 145, 205, 221, 274. 
 
 Xerxes, king of Persia, one of the 
 “lions” of Hades, insulted by 
 Menippus, 141 and note ; his oc¬ 
 cupation in Hades, according to 
 Lucian and to Rabelais, 276 and 
 note. 
 
 Xunegoros, u an associate-advocate,” 
 suggested by Apollo as an aid 
 to limokles, 190 and note. 
 
INDEX. 
 
 315 
 
 z. 
 
 Zama (a city of North Africa), the 
 scene of the great victory over 
 the Carthaginians by the Romans, 
 117 note. 
 
 Zamolxis (a manumitted Thracian 
 slave of Pythagoras), held in high 
 honour as a prophet in Thrace, 201 
 and note. 
 
 Zeno, the founder of the Stoic sect, 
 the syllogisms of his School ridi¬ 
 culed, 88 and note. 
 
 Zenophantes, a parasite, laments 
 with his friend the sudden ter¬ 
 mination of his scheme, 99-101. 
 
 Zephyrus (the divinity of the 
 West Wind), punished by Apollo 
 for his part in the death of Hya- 
 kinthus, 28; relates the metamor¬ 
 phosis and adventures of Io, 71- 
 72; describes the nuptial pro¬ 
 cession of Europa and Zeus, 
 83-85. 
 
 Zethus, son of Antiope, and brother 
 of Amphion, 172 note. 
 
 ZeugeitcE, a class of Athenian citir 
 zens, 178 note. 
 
 Zeus (Jupiter), his interview with 
 Prometheus, 1-3; his objurga¬ 
 tion of Eros, 5-6; his commis¬ 
 sion to Hermes respecting Io, 6- 
 7 ; instructs Ganymedes as to his 
 duties as cup-bearer, 7-12; re¬ 
 proached by Hera for his prefe¬ 
 rence for his new favourite, 12-16 ; 
 listens to the complaints of Hera 
 of the insolence of Ixion, 16-22 ; 
 calls in the aid of Hephaestus at 
 the birth of Athena, 17-18; his 
 
 delicate situation as reported by 
 Hermes, 18-20 ; his commands to 
 Helios, 21-22 ; defends the cha¬ 
 racter of Bacchus from the charges 
 of Hera, 34-39 ; subdued by Eros, 
 36 ; despatches Hermes with the 
 three rival Goddesses to Paris, 
 38 ; his messages to Ida, 41; his 
 threat about the Golden Chain 
 ridiculed by Ares, 49-50; his ex¬ 
 acting disposition complained of 
 by Hermes, 54-55; accuses Helios 
 of rashness, 56-58 ; interposes be¬ 
 tween the three rival Goddesses, 
 68 : sends Iris to command Posei¬ 
 don to fix the island of Delos, 76- 
 75 ; his rape of Europa narrated 
 by Zephyrus, 83-85; grants to 
 Eos immortality for Tithonus, 
 160 note ; claimed by Alexander 
 of Macedon as his father, 127; 
 appoints Teiresias arbiter, 160; 
 summons a Council to consider 
 the critical state of celestial 
 affairs, 168-208 ; his alleged tomb 
 in Krete, 203 ; cross-examined 
 by the Cynic Cyniskus, 209-224 ; 
 summons a Convention of the 
 Gods to pacify the growing dis¬ 
 content of the Celestials, 225- 
 236. 
 
 Zoological Collection, the, of Aris¬ 
 totle, 122 note. 
 
 Zopyrus, a Persian noble, the story 
 of, 208 note. 
 
 Zoroaster (the Persian Zerdusht, 
 founder of the Magian religion), 
 his followers consulted by Me- 
 nippus, 268. 
 
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